Harry Potter 1. Ahhh, trouble!

Ok....I know I'm pathetic...I have no life...and that I haven't written something in forever...but I'm trying to start over...so here we go!

Disclaimer: *yawns* do I _REALLY_ have to say this? I mean, for crying out loud! YOU PEOPLE _KNOW_ THAT I DON'T OWN HARRY POTTER! ::sighs:: If I did I would be rich! Anyways...I don't own Harry Potter but the Smalgoogley Curse is mine! Haa haa....this message will self destruct in... 

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....Well damn...that's the last time I order bombs off the internet again!

Harry Potter and The No Good Very Bad Day

This was Harry's worst day ever. He woke up with his nose dangling off the side of his butt thanks to Crookshanks> and his never-ending supply of popcorn that just keeps re-filling itself and makes u popcorn crazed lol, Annemarie!!> was out of popcorn. He was late to potions and instead of making a boils antidote he grew himself three extra knees. When he tried to get rid of them in transfiguration class, a safe fell on his head. Yep, this was his worse day ever.   
"Maybe I should move to Australia....sigh> nah, then kangaroo's would fall on my head..." Ron sighed in exasperation as Harry moaned this.  
"Harry, at least it can't get any worse...!" All of a sudden an anvil fell on his head. "....or maybe it can..."  
"THAT'S IT!" He cried as he left the room, leaving his robes on the floor...   
*********  
"HERMIONE!" Harry called...butt naked>..."I need your help!"  
Hermione gasped. "Err, nice seeing you!" Harry looked down as a crab bit his big toe. As soon as it bit him, Harry's skin turned purple with red dots and silver square's all over. "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaa...?''  
"This is why I need your help Herm! Look at me! No, no wait! Don't look at me!" He said, covering himself best he could. Hermione crunched her face in confusion. not literal crunching here> "Hmmmmm..." then she ran off to the library. People started giving Harry weird looks, so he ran off to the common room.  
**************  
"Harry, you might want to put some robes on..." Ron said, a look of disgust splayed across his face.   
"Oh, right..." Harry leaned over his trunk to get new robes when a herd of elephants came shooting out of it and ran over him. After fifty elephants crushed him, he was left on the floor twitching. "Harry has an ouchie!"   
Ron was on the floor rolling and shaking with silent laughter as Harry said this. Suddenly, Hermione ran in.   
"I FIGURED OUT WHY YOUR HAV-- why are you on the floor?" Ron then explained what just happened. After ten minutes of two teens rolling on the floor laughing and one teen twitching involuntarily, Hermione started her sentence all over again. "I found out why your having these problems."  
"REALLY??!!"  
"Yes. The problem is that you have the Smalgoogley curse on you!"  
"The whatta hoona henne? What the heck is the snalgooksy curse?"  
"Not snalgooksy curse, Ron! Smalgoogley curse! It puts bad luck on a person for a certain amount of time. The only problem is that I don't know how long yours will last, or what the counter curse is."  
"Well, we all know who put it on," Ron muttered.  
"Malfoy," they all said at once.   
Oh how wrong they were....  
If Harry thought his day was bad, (which had continually become worse) it was nothing compared to his bad night. It was just a simple annoyance which keeps everyone awake...but it was annoying non-the-less. Someone had put crumbs in his bed...and there's nothing more annoying than having a crumbly bed. Unless, of course, you were in Harry's case.  
"OH MY GOD! THESE CRUMBS ARE ALIVE!!" And they were indeed. In fact, they weren't crumbs at all, but a creature they didn't learn yet in Care for Magical Creatures. These were the horrible, the dreadful, the most terrifying AN: I'm stalling cuz I don't have a name for this yet!!> Crumbos! ducks from all the tomatoes because I suck at naming things> They plagued mattresses like bed bugs in the muggle world. Poor Harry had bite marks all over his body. And these weren't regular bite marks that itched. These itched, burned, stung and tingled all at once. Harry looked like one big mosquito bite. In the morning he wasn't able to fit in his robes without using an engorgement charm on it first. And as if things weren't bad enough, breakfast in the Great Hall awaited him. 

Well....what did you people think? I will finish writing the second chappy soon...please review! If you don't I will get depressed and I need ENCOURAGEMENT!!! ^_^ THANK YOU!


	2. Oh crap, the owls are comingTHAT WORKS T...

Disclaimer: haa haa...heh heh...see, the thing is....I tried to buy it off of J.K.R, but she wouldn't sell it to me! So I still don't own it! ::humph:: 

Everything started out normally. People sitting down talking to friends, people eating, and of course, you can't forget getting the mail. At least, Harry couldn't forget it.  
AN: I feel so horrible doing this all to poor Harry, but all the same, its pretty funny.> Hedwig landed in front of him and dropped a letter in his bacon. He opened it and saw only two words. "Haa Haa." Hermione read it too.   
"Haa Haa? That 's it? There's nothing else? Harry! Maybe there is more in invisible ink!" Before Harry could reply, another owl landed. It dropped a letter and circled his head. This one also read "Haa Haa." After that, another owl landed, bearing the same message. He got twenty-three of these messages, and twenty-three owls circled over his head. As they circled him, they got lower and lower.   
SPLAT! An owl pooped on him. SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! Three more owls pooped on him. SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! Harry was trying to get away from the pooping owls, but they kept following him. He was drowning in a splatter of owl poop.  
Needless to say, Harry wasn't very happy.   
"This is kind of creepy Harry..." said Hermione. Harry wasn't listening, he was covered in owl poop. He stormed out of the room and left Hermione and Ron with the messages. Ron wanted to throw them out, but Hermione wouldn't let him. She wouldn't tell him why, but he guessed she wanted to do some "tests" on it. He rolled his eyes.   
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"Stupid owl poop. Your supposed to wash off! Why then am I still covered in this OWL POOP???" Frustrated, Harry threw the wash cloth on the floor. He walked into his room grumbling about how he would like to try burning the owl poop off. "Whoa...I don't feel so good..." and with that everything went black...  
  
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"Hermione...you have to make sure no one's up there!" Ron stated as Hermione ran up the stairs to the boys dormitories.  
"Oh please Ron. After all the things you and Harry do...and you're worried I'll be caught in the boys dormitories?" They walked in, and had the sight of there life. "WHAT-THE-HELL???" It was probably the strangest scene they would ever see in there lives. Harry ran up to them and planted a huge wet kiss on Hermione saying, "Hiya gorgeous!" Ron just blinked. Harry ran out of the room at top speed, saying something like...."I need hot babes!" You, the reader, may think that this is why Hermione and Ron are shocked. You are however, wrong. Because when they   
looked into the room...they saw many Harry's in there!   
There was a Harry doing experiments on a muggle chemistry set, and Harry in hippy clothing and long long hair, a Harry threatening to kill himself by jumping out the window, another Harry by the suicidal one telling him not to and to think of the things he has to live for, and more.   
There was a Harry in a house-wife apron with a feather duster cleaning around the room, a Harry with diabolical plans to take over the world before Lord Voldemort, a Harry in a Jehovah Witness outfit holding a bible and proclaiming the word of the Lord. There was a Harry in the corner in fetal position rocking back and forth with his thumb in his mouth begging the spiders not to come any closer...there was a Harry in a knight's armor complete with a sword, looking at dragons trying to decide which one to slay first.   
There was a Harry on a chair looking at his fingers as if he had never seen them before, and another Harry who was holding 1940-s hunting gun looking at muggle animals in a magazine. There was a Harry on the bed looking as if he had never showered in his life, there was a Harry putting gel in his hair and practicing his smile. And of course, you can't forget the original Harry, who was passed out on the floor.   
"Oh my God,... HARRY!!" All of the Harry's turned to her.  
"Yes?" It was a simultaneous answer.   
"Well, this is definitely something you don't see everyday," Ron said with a shrug. Hermione looked at him shocked.  
"Is that all you can say?" She ran over to the real Harry on the floor and inspected him. He looked drained of all energy, as if he hadn't eaten in months. "Gah...if only I can remember that spell...grrrr....WHAT WAS THAT SPELL??"   
The Harry by the chemistry set came over. "A spell? Perhaps I can help. What kind of spell are you looking for?''   
***************  
"Ugh, this is confusing!" Ron threw the spoon thingy he was using down in frustration. "Number one...how is this going to help us? Number two...I don't know how to refer to you!" The smart Harry had been helping them with a potion that would help Harry return to his normal state, but only Hermione was understanding it. Ron had needed it to be explained to him three times before he grasped the concept.  
"Ron...you have to calm down. Remember that this is for Harry!"   
"This is for Harry!" Ron mimicked. God, that's all she's been saying. Hasn't she noticed that this situation is just weird? Why doesn't she panic like a normal girl? He sighed. It was because she wasn't a normal girl. "And anyway, what do we call him?" He pointed to the Harry bent over the cauldron. "We have to give them numbers or something!" He waited for a response, and when none came he poked Hermione in the ribs.   
"Sorry, what?" She asked distractedly, never breaking her gaze at the smart Harry.   
Mentally slapping himself, he said, "Never mind," and went over to spoon thingy that he had dropped. Was he feeling jealous? "Nah."

Ok, after practically forever...I UPDATED!! ::realizes no one cares:: *sad sigh* COME ON!! GIVE THIS A CHANCE! It'll get better, I promise!! ^_^


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Harry Potter, Humor