Mass Effect One Missed Call

**A/N: **Taking a small break from my WIP works to write this, so the idea will bugger off and let me think of my other works. If you have a moment, please review! They totally make my day.

**A/N 2: **The title came from a movie series I like. It was highly appropriate, and it fits nicely(though what the movies were about doesn't really fit with the story, lol).

Disclaimer: Bioware.

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**One Missed Call**

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Kaidan wasn't sure what to expect when he'd sent that letter to Shepard after Horizon. A number of things; for her to delete it without reading it, read and simply ignore it, or send an angry response. He'd assumed she had either deleted it, or ignored, when he received no reply; he lost track of how many days he'd spent waiting, visibly jumping whenever his omni-tool pinged to alert him of a new message, or nearly sprinting every time something arrived on his personal terminal at his apartment.

He'd expected no reply, but that didn't mean that it didn't hurt him when he didn't receive one. He'd been angry, almost as angry as when he'd confronted Shepard on Horizon. He knew that it was bad, that when he was angry he had the tendency to say stupid things out of that anger, and out of the hurt that was beneath it.

He tried to keep himself busy with his routine on the Citadel. He would be heading for Earth soon for what Anderson had said was only something he could do. He had wanted to say no, but when Anderson asked for you personally, you didn't turn him down. And the man kept him informed of whatever Brass heard about Shepard, like how she had been closely involved with the destruction of the Alpha relay and the destruction of the Batarian's colony, Aratoht; the brief message the Alliance had recovered was enough for him to know that she had done everything she could to evacuate the colony, but she had been too late. She was keeping busy, he mused, but every time he heard of something she'd done, he could barely breathe until he heard confirmation that she was still alive, worried he'd lost her all over again. One reason he'd sent her that message.

He hadn't expected a reply. His last night on the Citadel before leaving for Earth, he spent hours in the shower, trying to clear his mind. He couldn't go into a new mission as distracted as he was; without a reply, he was lost in a million thoughts – where was she? What was she doing? Was she hurt? Was she coming back? Did she hate him? Did she still feel the same for him as he did for her? Had she forgiven him? – ones he didn't need hounding him as he did his duty for the Alliance. The very duty, that in his anger, he had put before Shepard. He had wanted nothing more to go with her, help her, but he couldn't. He couldn't have turned his back on the Alliance, like he'd accused her of doing herself. Yeah, he said stupid things in his anger, things he wished – and tried – to take back.

With no response.

But he'd expected that.

He climbed out of the shower, wrapping a towel around his waist, grabbing another to towel his hair dry as he walked out of the bathroom. The light on his terminal was blinking and, as it had every time he'd gotten a message, his heart leaped into his throat.

He sat at the terminal, his hand shaking as he brought up his messages.

He'd expected her to ignore him, or send him an angry response; what he had never, even once, expected, was a video call. One he had missed while in the shower.

_One Vid-Call – received 21:12 p.m., sender A. Shepard_

Out of morbid curiosity, he glanced at the clock; 21:22. He missed her by a mere ten minutes. Laughing almost bitterly, he dropped his face into his hand and sucked in a strangled breath. He dropped his hand and downloaded the vid to an OSD, taking it to the much larger screen on his wall. His heart thudding painfully hard against his ribs, he sat himself on the couch in his merger living-room and hit play.

The first thing he noticed was how tired she looked; healthy, but tired, large splotches of black under her pale, nearly silver, blue eyes.

"_Hey Kaidan..." _She chuckled, almost as if she were nervous. _"Is it strange that I'm glad you didn't answer? Not for the reason you would think – yeah, I am still mad about Horizon, but...it seems like such a small thing now. You see...we're minutes away from the Omega-4 relay." _She bit her lip, something she did when she wasn't sure what to say. Kaidan's heart nearly stopped at her words.

The Omega-4 relay? No ship had ever returned from using it. Whatever was on the other side made sure no vessel made the return trip.

"_This is it. What we've been working so hard for since Cerberus brought me back; we're taking the fight to the Collectors. I...I wanted you to know that if," _she smiled sadly when she said 'if', then shook her head slowly, something she did when she was uncertain. Kaidan could see the doubt. Shepard didn't think she was coming back; all at once, he couldn't breathe. _"If I return, I am surrendering myself and the Normandy to the Alliance. It's the right thing to do...after Aratoht." _

She felt guilty, he realized. She felt responsible. He didn't have the details of the mission she'd undertaken, but he knew, _knew_, she'd done everything she could to prevent unnecessary deaths. But this was so like his Shepard to take the weight of the galaxy upon her slim shoulders. He wanted to reach out and cup her cheek, tell her she didn't need to feel guilty. God, he hoped she came back so he could.

"_Maybe I'll see you," _she smiled this time, an honest to god smile, and Kaidan felt his own smile following closely behind. _"Might be a nice change of pace. I miss being with the Alliance. I would have left Cerberus if I could but I couldn't...not when the Alliance and the Council turned their backs on everything we'd experienced with Sovereign. I couldn't trust them, not when they weren't doing anything about the missing colonists. After what I saw on Freedom's Progress...I couldn't turn away, not even if I had to work with...with Cerberus." _She sighed and tucked some of red hair behind an ear. _"I know how much you hate Cerberus, Kaidan. And, yeah, I was mad about Horizon, but I understand now how you must feel; I was dead, you'd been alone for years, and then suddenly I was back, with no warning, and working with the group both of us hated with a passion." _

She reached out a hand, gently ran her fingertip across the screen of her terminal. _"I want you to know that if I had any other options, I would have taken them, Kaidan." _

"_Commander, we are two minutes out from the Omega-4 relay. Better get down here." _She glanced away from the screen as the voice came over the comm and Kaidan recognized it as Joker's. Joker was with her, too? He smiled a bit; even though he and Joker hadn't exactly parted on the best of terms, he could be glad that she had the best pilot in the galaxy – as Joker liked to say – with her, flying her ship.

"_I will be down in a minute, Joker." _

"_Aye aye, ma'am." _

She glanced back to the screen and smiled sadly once again. He swore he could see tears in her eyes. His own burned, threatening to water at the sight. _"Well, Kaidan. I guess this is it..." _She combed her fingers through her hair. _"Damnit, I swore I wasn't going to say this unless you answered but Kaidan...I love you. I've missed you and I'm going to fight to my last breath to make it back to you. Maybe then...maybe..."_

"_Commander, we're approaching the relay." _

"_I'm on my way, Joker. Well...you heard him. Goodbye Kaidan. Stay safe." _She lingered a moment more, then the screen went blank.

Kaidan swallowed past the lump in his throat, his eyes still burning. He tried to hold it together, but when he thought of her beyond the relay, he couldn't. Hot tears rolled down his cheeks and a sob broke free stubbornly from his throat. There was a chance he would be losing her all over again. He couldn't handle that, not again. She _had _to come back. _She had to._

_Maybe then...maybe..._her words echoed in his thought and he pressed his lips together tightly. There wasn't going to be any maybe's about it; once she was back, he wasn't going to let her go. Not again.

"I love you too, Shepard," he whispered quietly in the darkness of his apartment. "Please be safe."


End file.

Mass Effect, Romance