Bleach 1. Chapter 1: I Want A Divorce

**DISCLAIMER: All rights of original Bleach characters/story go to Tite Kubo (we love you!). I will also be referencing a LOT of songs and using ones that I think could sound like something Grimmjow or Ichigo would sing. But I will give the original artist as I mention the songs, so they can get the credit they deserve and you guys can look up the songs if you are curious. Enjoy!**

**…****..**

Saya pushed open the backstage doors and strode through the busy stage crew. She could hear Grimmjow's voice blaring from the speakers on the stage. She had gotten a call from Telsa, Nnoitora's agent, that Grimmjow had gone out on stage after throwing back a few to many and was trying to get the band to let him sing this new song he has just thought of in his drunken state.

No one had been able to convince him not to go on, so they had called her in hopes of getting him to calm down. Saya had been expecting Grimmjow to be out there causing a riot, but this…this was unacceptable. After everything she had done as his wife to take care of him and their child…THIS is what he decided to write a song about?

"_DAm that's an UGLY BAA-BY!_

_God DAM! THAT"S AN UGLY ASS BABAAY!"_

(A/N: Baby, by Stephen Lynch. Here's a link to a youtube video, the whole song is pretty funny: watch?v=d3zpT502CEs)

Saya got to corner entrance to the front stage and looked out to see Grimmjow singing away on his guitar with a gigantic picture of their daughter, Nel, projected behind him for everyone to see. And Grimmjow was smiling and cracking up as he went on.

"_I give the Doc a smack'n say,_

_Can't you stuff her back in?_

_Cuz Damn that's an Ugggly Baby!"_

"That Son-of-a-BITCH!" Saya cried. How could he use his own daughter for such an insulting song?! Nel was her little Princess! "GRIMMJOW YOU JACKASS!" Saya headed straight for him but was stopped by Yami, the bouncer.

_"__It makes me want to cryyyy,_

_when I look into her Good eye…"_

"Get the hell outta my way Yami!"

"I can't let you out there Saya! Don't make me do this the hard way!" Yami blocked her path.

"MOVE!" Saya kicked Yami in the kneecap and the burly steroid-user toppled over in pain.

_"__I always wanted kiiids,_

_Is it wrong to ask for SIDS?"_

Some of the members in the crowd started booing. Grimmjow kept strumming his guitar and just cackled wickedly at the audience.

"_F*ck you! It's my f*ckin baby!" _he shouted at the audience. (A/N: I didn't even know what SIDS was….I had to look it up..)

"GRIMMJOW!" Saya stormed out on to the stage into the spotlight.

"Hah!" Grimmjow smirked at her drunkenly and kept playing his guitar. "Ladies and gentleman, I give you the smoking hot mama of this ugly ass bab—"

"I WANT A DIVORCE!" she screamed in Grimmjow's face.

The whole crowd ooooo'ed with shock and gasped.

Grimmjow's grin slowly died down as he realized what she had just said. Gin, the bassist of S.M.U.R.F'ed, nearly opened his ever-squinting eyes at what was unfolding before him, though he shouldn't have been surprised. Nnoitora, the lead guitarist, just laughed. Szayel, the drummer, simply sighed with annoyance that yet another one of their concerts was being ruined thanks to Grimmjow's dramatics.

"Saya…." He breathed into the microphone. "You can't f*Ckin joke about something like that on stage," he said tensely.

"THAT'S RIGHT! YOU DON'T GRIMMJOW! YOU DON'T JOKE ABOUT THE BIRTH OF YOUR _DAUGHTER _ON STAGE! HOW **DARE** YOU DO THIS TO NEL!" Saya pointed at the picture of their baby.

"Babe—"

"BABE?" Saya blared in his face. "DID YOU JUST CALL ME _BABE?!_ YOU KNOW I HATE WHEN YOU CALL ME THAT! GOD GRIMMJOW YOU ARE SUCH AN ASS!" she threw her arms up and turned to get off the stage. She was done.

"Saya!" Grimmjow set down his guitar and ran after her. Everyone in the audience was staring at him. "Don't f*cking walk away from me!" He grabbed her arm and wretched her towards him.

"Let me go Grimmjow!"

"Stop you're bitching! You're making me look bad!"

"**Let Go.**"

"Shut up and give me a f*ckin kiss—"

_*BAM*_

She punched him hard across the face, and he side-stepped backwards, clutching his bloody jaw.

"WHAT THE F*CK SAYA?!

"GO TO HELL JACKASS! OH, and in case you're wondering what's for dinner when you get home, FIX SOMETHING YOURSELF CUZ I WON'T BE THERE AND NEITHER WILL NEL!" Saya turned on her heel and left him there bleeding.

"FINE! SEE IF I GIVE A SHIT!" Grimmjow kicked one of the mic stands of the stage and into the crowd. Someone screamed out in pain, others cheered.

Nnoitora took a few lanky strides to catch up with Saya as she walked off the stage.

"Tough break huh Saya?…Sooo sorry to hear about the bad news."

Saya flashed an angry look at him as she stepped over a still crying Yami.

"But if you're serious about this whole leaving Grimmjow thing, and you need a place to sleep over, my bed is always open to—"

"For God SAKES Nnoitora! NO!" Saya sprinted past the spoon-faced guitarist and left the building.

Six years they had been married and for six years Saya had pretended Grimmjow's tours and concerts and late nights had never bothered her. But **this**. Bringing Nel into the picture and humiliating her onstage with that song. That was the last straw and Saya doubted she would ever forgive him for it.

"Rukia was right," Saya said to herself as she stomped out to her car. "I should have never married Grimmjow Jeagerjaques….I should've gone to school for a Middle Earth historian instead."

To Be Continued…

….

**It has begun! Stay tuned for more and some baby-siting horrors of Nel's younger days! **

**Next Chapter: ****_Why is it Always the Shoes?_**


	2. Chapter 2: Why is it Always the Shoes?

**DISCLAIMER: All rights of original Bleach characters/story go to Tite Kubo (we love you!). …..**

Saya floored it home, too pissed off to care how fast she was going.

_Hehe. Stupid idiot should've never trusted me with his car keys…I swear I should sue him just for how much of a moron he is._

Besides the fact that Grimmjow's mustang was a thrill to drive, she knew it would piss him off beyond belief if she took it with her when she and Nel left.

_I hope everything's ok at the house with Nel_… Saya bit her lips as she waited at a red light. Normally the sitter would have called to complain by now.

"I'm home," Saya closed the door, "See, told you two it wouldn't take long." The house was a mansion. Honestly, Saya had been surprised when Grimmjow's band had gotten so popular, but hey, she couldn't complain. There were 2 staircases, one on the left and one on the right. They both curved up and around the main hall, leading to the 2nd floor.

Saya had refused to get a maid when Grimmjow suggested it as a solution for all her nagging that she gave him for not pulling his share around the house. But Saya had just taken that as an insult. It wasn't as though she couldn't do the work, it just aggravated her that Grimmjow never appreciated all she did for him. Saya had always kept the house spotless, but once Nel was born….well, white carpets and white furniture was NOT a wise choice.

"Hanataro?" she called and went down the hallway into the kitchen. _Not in there_…She couldn't help but feel relieved that the kitchen seemed untouched, other than a pot of spaghetti—.

_Spaghetti?_ Warning: Messy food without Mother supervision. _Didn't I tell him that I had chicken and carrots already made for her?_

"Nel?" Saya's feet carried her to the dining room, where she found spaghetti sauce splattered here and there. Someone had been throwing noodles. That same little someone had dumped their bowl on the floor. Little hand prints of reddish orange indicated the trouble-maker had crawled away into the living room. Saya heard a muffled movement and what sounded like static. Just before the hall, the red disappeared.

_He must have caught her_, she sighed thankfully.

"Hanatar—" But then she actually saw the living room, "—WHAT IN TARNATION!?"

Toys and smears of reddish orange were all over—it looked like a murder scene at Toys R Us. Cheesy popcorn and Cheetos had been crunched and smooshed all over the couch cushions. Bawa-Bawa, Nel's stuffed animal dinosaur, sat in the mess smiling with yellowish grime caked down its face and an empty juice box in its lap.

Barrel-of-monkeys, glitter, Nel's superhero cape (a blanket), cheerios, plastic dinosaurs, puzzle pieces, crayons, juice boxes, pennies, plastic tea cups, and fruit loops were scattered everywhere.

Grimmjow's recliner had been knocked backwards with the foot-rest up, it looked like she had been using it as a fort and a place to stash the rest of the fruit loops. Saya's favorite rocking chair had been miraculously untouched. The mini keyboard Grimmjow had gotten Nel last Christmas was smashed through the flat screen, hence the overwhelming sound of static.

But the most hideous sight of all was Hanataro himself, that poor, poor boy.

He was tied up with extension cords, shoelaces (a pile of Grimmjow's shoes lay next to Hanataro, coated in drool), beaded necklaces, a curtain, and 4 of Grimmjow's belts. He was awkwardly squished on the carpeted floor, his face side-ways and his butt sticking up. Socks had been stuffed into his mouth and there was a Lego man stuck up one of his nostrils. A princess tiara sat crookedly on his head and it looked like Nel had used lipstick and finger paint to try and giving him what she would have called a makeover. His dark floppy hair had clips and scrunchies in it, giving him roughly tied ponytails here and there. Lastly, he was completely decorated with Nel's smelly sticker collection. Judging from the inflamed skin around the stickers, particularly the one on his puffy eyelid, she had thoroughly scratched and smelled each one of them.

"HANG ON LITTLE GUY!" Saya rushed over, trying not to trip on anything. She pulled the socks out of the sniveling boy's mouth and he let out an exasperated sob.

"It's ok," she hesitantly yanked the Lego man out of his nose, and saw that there was second one stuck up even farther. "Your gonna be ok Hanataro," Saya cooed.

"SHE'S A MON-STER-er-er-ER!" he choked.

_This is why I never go out._

In the 5 years Nel had been born, Saya had only hired 3 babysitters, including this one. The first had been when Nel had just started crawling: Recipe for Disaster. Grimmjow had wanted to get away for the weekend: Plan for Disaster. Saya had reluctantly agreed: Disaster Approved, IDIOT! Saya's best friend, Rukia Kuchiki, had volunteered to watch Nel and assured the worried mother that everything would be fine: Red Flag for Disaster.

Saya got a call during dinner that Rukia had lost Nel…in her playpen….?

Being the wife she was, Saya ditched her "that's Rukia's problem" husband and rushed home to her precious missing baby to find said baby giggling her lungs out at Rukia, who's head and shoulder was stuck in the railing of the staircase banister. Nel had stuffed a pacifier into Rukia's ear, hidden one of her shoes, and had somehow found an old tennis racket and was repeatedly hitting the panicked woman with it. From then on, Rukia curiously was never alone with Nel in the same room.

The 2nd babysitting incident was a few months ago when Grimmjow had gone away on another tour. Part II of _Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows _was having it's premier. Grimmjow had originally promised to watch Nel while Saya went to the movies, he never really cared for Harry Potter (A/N: HOW COULD YOU GRIMMJOW?!) Saya had already gotten her ticket, so she decided to take Grimmjow's advise and "stop being paranoid" when it came to getting a babysitter.

Again: Recipe for Disaster.

After an A-may-ZiNG experience at the midnight premier, Saya came home to learn that even the so-called toughest babysitter, Soi Fon or something, could not handle her little angel. Soi Fon had an eye patch and a Hitler mustache drawn thickly on her face with permanent marker. One of her braids had been chopped off, her shoes had disappeared and were never found, and the bathroom had been burned down. Besides Nel's comment "She's a big fat MEANIE!"—at which point Nel clamped her teeth down on the sitters ankle hard enough to draw blood and Saya had to punch the tiny, sour-faced woman in the face to stop her from strangling little Nelliel—neither Nel nor Soi Fon had offered any explanation.

Saya had accepted that Nel would most likely never be safe with anyone but her parents watching her; which she didn't have a problem with. Nel was her everything and Saya had always taken her with her everywhere anyway. She had a home bakery that she worked at, so she didn't have to worry about being gone for work.

Tonight, when Saya had gotten the call from Telsa she had decided not to take Nel with her to go pull Grimmjow off the stage. Saya wasn't going to risk Nel seeing her father in case he had been in really bad shape, even though it turned out he had only been in his happy-drunk stage. She had asked her delivery-boy for her bakery, Ganju, if he would watch Nel for a bit. Ganju had nearly choked over the phone, but replied by saying he had a friend who was better for the job.

"Shhhh," Saya patted Hanataro on the shoulder gently after fully freeing him.

_I had no idea she could do so much damage in so little time._ She hadn't been gone longer than 30 minutes.

"Nel!" Saya hollered. "Get in here right this minute!"

"NO!" the teen squealed. "DON'T CALL HER! DON'T! _DON'T!"_

"Don't worry Hanataro," Saya helped him sit up.

"BUT LOOK WHAT SHE DID TO ME!"

"She's just getting to know you! I'm sure she didn't mean any harm." Saya looked up impatiently, she was about to call out again when—.

"MAMA!" Saya's arm was engulfed in a snuggly hug. Hanataro jerked back in fright, giving a sharp squeak. Spaghetti sauce from her smiling face rubbed off on Saya's sleeve, and the toddler looked up from under the white winter beanie hat that had two black spots that resembled the image of a skull. Saya never understood why she loved that hat.

"Nel missed you so much Mama!"

"You have some explaining to do little miss."

Nel waved her puggy arms as she explained.

"Nel only wanted to play pwrincess! B'then she said she didn't wanna be the pwrincess, so that means she had'ta be the Bad Guy!"

"Nel, you know you are not supposed to be playing with the electrical extension cords. Remember what I said? One wrong move and you could get electrocuted and your hair blow off!—and Hanataro isn't a girl," Saya explained to the toddler. Nel's face scrunched up and she peeked over at the teen and pointed.

"Tha's a boy?" she blinked with her stubborn expression.

"Yes," Saya answered her daughter sternly. "And what I have I told you about eating on the couch? Look at this mess! When your father gets home—" she stopped herself in mid sentence.

"No No! Nel's sorry! Nel is so sorry Mama! She'll clean up! Just don't tell Daduh!"

"Don't apologize to me Nel," the mother pointed to Hanataro. "He's the one you need to say sorry to." The chubby toddler peered at the trembling teen.

"But Nel doesn't wanna…" she whined.

"Nel," her mother gave her one look and the stubborn child immediately folded.

"Nel's sorry if she hurt you…But SOMEONE needed to toughen you up. How's NEL suppos'ta know you're a boy when you scream like a girl?"

"Nel!" Saya scolded.

"Sorry Mama!" Nel smiled brightly, then looked back to Hanataro and "BLLLLTH!" sprayed slobber in his face.

"NELLIEL!—I'm so sorry Hanataro—GET BACK HERE RIGHT—"

"OH NO! It's fine! Really! I'm ok!" the boy assured hastily.

Saya paid the boy and he was in a hurry to leave when he asked…

"Um…Miss Saya…have you seen my shoes anywhere?"

Saya didn't answer.

To Be Continued…

…

**Coming up, Saya goes to her best friend and lawyer, Rukia Kuchiki for help. Our favorite Strawberry will also be making his début in this chapter! **

**Next Chapter: ****_Sue Him, Sue Him Big_**


	3. Chapter 3: Sue Him, Sue Him Big

**DISCLAIMER: All rights of original Bleach characters/story go to Tite Kubo (we love you!). …..**

Saya had told Nel that they were moving, and that if they didn't get cleaned up and packed in ONE HOUR, evil government spies would come and steal Bawa-Bawa away. With Nel's surprisingly eager cooperation, Saya was able to give her the fastest bath she had ever taken, with no splashing, crying, or attempted high diving.

Saya finished putting the last bag in the blue mustang, and closed the trunk. It was about 9:00 p.m.

"Kay, Nellie, lets get you buckled in."

"Is Dada coming too?" her sweet little girl looked up at her.

Saya couldn't help but feel her heart sink a little.

"…No. No honey, he's not."

Nel blinked.

"Oh…" the toddler thought for a little while and then looked up through her messy turquoise bangs. "So Dadah's gonna come meet Mama and Nel at our new house?" she asked curiously.

Saya hesitated. Was this really the right thing to do? Was it fair? Did she even have the right to take Nel away from her father? Grimmjow didn't exactly deserve a trophy, but he wasn't a _horrible _father either. He was never around her enough to where Nel saw the worst side of him.

_Right. He is therefore guilty by negligence_, Saya decided.

"I'm sorry munchkin," she squatted down to her daughter's level and lovingly patted her head, "But he's probably not going to see us for a while."

Nel frowned, her face scrunching with confusion.

"Don't worry over it Hun, you'll still be able to visit and see him. He's just going to be really busy. But guess what?" she changed her tone. "We're going to stay at Auntie Rukia's house tonight!"

"HEHEHE! Nel gets-ta-play-with Ru-ki-a!" Nel sang. Saya smiled sadly.

"Alrighty then, lets go!" She picked up her little one and put her in her car seat.

~o0o0o0o0o~

Saya knocked on the polished mahogany door of the modern styled Japanese estate, Nel sleeping soundly on her chest. The door was answered by a tall, dark haired man with the number 69 tattooed on his face.

"Good Evening Ms. Saya," he inclined his head stiffly.

"Evening Shuhei, is Rukia in?"

"She is but," his dark eyes flickered to the sleeping child, "M'Lady has made it very clear how she feels about having your daughter in her house ever since the last…incident."

Saya sighed and shifted the position of Nel in her arms.

"I know but, this is kind of an emergency. Can you please just ask her to come out if she's not too busy?"

Shuhei nodded curtly and closed the door while Saya waited. The moon was out and the sky was clear. It was a perfect summer night, not too hot with just the right wind. Saya kissed her baby's forehead as she paced.

Rukia threw open the door, looking exhausted and wearing her striped pajamas with Chappy the Rabbit slippers and a robe. Her deep blue eyes analyzed the woman and child on her doorstep. Reaching a conclusion, she smacked her hand over her mouth.

"I knew this day would come," she breathed. "YOU FINALLY LEFT THAT GOOD-FOR-NOTHING-IDIOT you call HUSBAND! DIDN'T YOU?!"

"Shhh!" Saya hissed. "You'll wake her up."

Rukia snapped her mouth shut.

"Ops…" she laughed politely, "Wouldn't want that now, would we?"

Shuhei, and Rukia's other butler, Izuru Kira, unloaded the luggage from the car as Saya explained the situation to her friend. Nel continued napping on a couch in a sitting room and the two women talked in the splendid kitchen.

" …. so if I do divorce him would I even get anything?"

"Are you doubting my skills as an attorney? You do know that I run my own law-firm right?" Rukia smirked.

"I know," Saya said back at Rukia in an obvious tone. "But…I mean it's not like I can sue him. It's not like he's ever hit me, or…or starved us or anything."

"That's where you're wrong Saya." Rukia used a toothpick to eat a slice of pineapple from the elegant fruit display on the kitchen table. "He has starved you both of the love and attention you deserve. For a child Nel's age, that can be almost as damaging to her emotionally as abuse would be to her physically. Grimmjow's actions have thrown your family into turmoil. All I need is a little crying from Nel and the judges will eat it right up." She paused.

"Just tell me you didn't sign a pre-nuptial agreement."

Saya scoffed.

"Look, I know I married the guy Rukia, but I'm not that stupid."

"Well thank God," Rukia said relieved. "Now I know you can at least get ½ of everything, but we can do so much better than that. You still think he's doing drugs?"

"Not doing drugs, selling," Saya corrected. "At least I don't think he's doing drugs….But anyone who gets involved with Aizen's record deal company pretty much gets drafted into pushing. You know that, everyone knows that."

"Ah, but its only a rumor. It's never been proven." Rukia folded her hands gracefully. "That being said, with your testimony we could probably take down the record company along with that stupid idiot."

"You really still haven't gotten over how he beat you in Battle of the Bands back in high school have you?" Saya chuckled at Rukia.

"Can you blame me for holding a grudge?"

"Of course not, just confirming a long term suspicion. Anyway, I don't have any proof for my claim though."

"But Grimmjow doesn't know that, does he?"

Saya shook her head, smiling as she understood where her midget friend was going.

"So if he has been dealing and we make him _think_ we have proof, I'm sure he'll comply with our demands in order to keep everything on the down low. After all, Sousuke Aizen is a man who would not take kindly to getting his reputation tarnished…Even Grimmjow's not that stupid to risk exposing the man," Rukia smiled contently.

Saya took a deep breath and sat back in her chair, pondering.

"You do know that the press is going to be all over this, right?" Rukia looked at her friend.

Saya snorted.

"Sure."

"I'm serious Saya. S.M. U. R. F'ed [very few people knew that it was short for Screw with Me and U R F*cked] is a lot more popular of band than you think, geeze you've been cooped up in that house way to long. And with you making a scene like that on stage! It's going to be everywhere!"

Saya looked pleadingly at the petite woman and groaned, throwing her face in her hands.

"Oh what the hell have I done!? This is a disaster!"

"Aw, don't worry Saya," Rukia patted her long-time friend on the back. "After about a year, it'll all have blown over—"

"A YEAR?"

Rukia just gave Saya an awkward, encouraging smile and shrugged.

"What am I gonna do Rukia? I need to find a real job and a house and—"

"Already taken care of," Rukia raised her hands up proudly.

"Huh?"

"You have a Certified Nurse's Assistant Certificate right?"

"Yeah."

"Well I know someone looking for a pair of hands to help out with his business."

Saya smiled with fake glistening tears.

"You're the best," she sniffled. Rukia flipped her hair and popped another piece of pineapple into her mouth.

"I know," she smirked. "And just think, now that you're free of a husband, you can do anything you want!"

"What the hell are you going on about? I have a kid Rukia," Saya frowned.

"Well if you ever manage to get that little mutant—"

Saya raised her eyebrow with a face that read 'Watch what you say about my little Ray of Sunshine'.

"—if you can ever find a good enough babysitter, then you could do what you've always wanted to do. I mean, c'mon. You've been married what? Five years?"

"Six," Saya twitched slightly.

"Isn't there anything you've always wanted to do that you just didn't have the time for? Any dreams that haven't been totally crushed?

Dreams? Saya couldn't remember the last time she thought about stuff like that. The little munchkin was her number one priority.

Then she *GASPED*. The deepest part of her soul had been so buried under years of Grimmjow's demands, she had forgotten.

"I will go to New Zealand," she spoke as if in a trance, "And I will walk the path to Mordor. And I WILL CONQUOR MOUNT DOOM!"

"Mind explaining what you're mumbling about?"

"Lord of the Rings tours! You can go to New Zealand and see the sets where they filmed the movie! I swore to myself I would go see it with my own eyes before I died—I originally wanted to go there for the honeymoon but nooooo Grimmjow wanted to go to America and see Las Vegas, said it would be "romantic"…selfish money-grubbing git—But I can go NOW!"

Rukia just stared at the obsessed woman, shaking her head hopelessly.

_I have one year to save up the money before Nel has to start school. That's not much time._ Saya's mind was whirling with determination and laying out what had to be done in order to fulfill her dream.

_And when I get a job, I'll need a babysitter that I can trust AND who's capable of handling Nelliel…This is going to be one hell of a treasure hunt._ Just then Saya's head snapped in the direction of the hall. Her maternal senses were tingling.

"NEL! PUT IT DOWN RIGHT NOW!"

Saya bolted out of the kitchen so fast Rukia nearly choked. She went after Saya toward the main hallway, utterly bewildered.

"Wow. I don't think I've ever seen you move so fast, at least not unless was involved—WHAT THE—DO SOMETHING WITH THAT BRAT!"

Nel had stacked numerous books up on a chair to reach the top of the fish tank that sat decoratively on a table in the hallway. Her mouth was shut and her cheeks were bulging. She had a fish caught in her hand and was holding it above the water with a frozen expression at her mothers presence and the sound of Rukia's yell.

"I said now, Nelliel," Saya warned with authority.

Nel instantly dropped the fish with a plop as it hit the water. And then she went to make a run for it.

"Nel," her suspicious voice made Nel cringe. She turned back to the fish tank stubbornly and spit out a bright, sputtering gold fish.

"You monster!" Rukia shouted furiously.

"All of them," Saya crossed her arms. Nel proceeded to puke up 3 more fish, 2 of which floated belly up seconds after submerging in the tank.

"MURDERER!" Rukia screamed. Shuhei and Izuru rushed to their master's side, restraining her from hurting the demon spawn that they also despised, or in Izuru's case, feared.

"YOU KILLED THEM!"

"NEL DIDN'T KNOW THEY WAS GONNA DIE!" the toddler whined.

"THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT CHAPPY!"

"IT"S NOT NEL'S FAULT THE BUNNY WASN'T A PONY!"

After much debate, Saya finally managed to get both cranky midgets to calm down. Rukia had given them a room to sleep in that was as far away as possible from her own room, and the fish.

Nel had fallen asleep after a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and was snoring softly. Saya was finally about to crawl into bed next to her little one when her cellphone vibrated.

She picked it up and flipped it open.

Grimm:

_Where r u?_

Saya scoffed and managed to resist the urge to smash the dam thing. _Is he just now realizing that we're gone?_

Saya:

_Gone & not coming back anytime soon. How's ur flatscreen looking?_

Grimm_: _

_Woman if u don't come back here n clean this up _

_I'll hunt u down n give u a real reason 2 try 2 up n leave me._

Saya:

_Really? I didn't think you could go lower than insulting Nel infront of ½ a million ppl._

Grimm:

_R u still pissed about that? U have no idea how bad things could get._

_Unless u wanna find out, u better get back here n make it up 2 me for throwing such a bitch fit. _

_And I expect u to get down on ur knees, open wide, and beg me to go easy on you._

_Wow_, Saya thought, _that's the longest text message I think he's ever sent me…._

Saya:

_Keep it up Smurf, I'm saving all ur threats and showing them to my lawyer. _

Grimm;

_I just wanna talk._

Saya laughed, his trying to play it cool and change the subject only angering her further.

Saya:

_Tell it to the judge :)_

With that, she shut off her phone. Nel unconsciously snuggled next to her and Saya went to sleep smirking at the thought of Grimmjow's raging face.

~o0o0o0o0o~

Rukia helped Saya find an apartment in Karakura town and helped prepare for the long drive to the new place. Within the week, Saya and Nel had moved.

Saya arranged an interview with the man Rukia had said had a job opening. They had set a date, but Saya was a bit worried about meeting him. The man seemed nice, but much too OVERLY friendly and hyper in her opinion.

_I hope the guy doesn't turn out to be some sort of serial killer…_

~o0o0o0o0o~

Three sharp raps on the door made Ichigo groan. He didn't see why in the hell anyone would be up this early. It was 10:00 on a goddamned Saturday morning for crying out loud! He didn't even know why HE was up this early, other than the old goat-face kicking him down the stairs happily proclaiming something about a new grill.

It doesn't make sense.

Ichigo slouched even further on the sofa, and leaned his bright orange head of hair backwards.

"Yuzu!" he called. "Someone's at the door!"

"I'll be down in a second Ichigo!" his 16 year-old sister called. He couldn't believe how big she had gotten…and that at age 23 he still hadn't moved out.

_It's not my fault that bastard snaked our shot in that stupid Battle of the Bands…We should've won that..we should've been on the radio by now._

The knock came again and Ichigo scowled as he got to his feet. Why did he have to deal with this right now?

"No no its fine," the spikey-haired male vented to no one in particular, "I just love starting my day off by having to tell some bible-clutching-saint that I don't give charity. Yep, my favorite pastime. And when they give that look of disappointment and say "God Bless You" it makes me feel even better about myself."

Ichigo bitterly wretched open the door, his body grumbling about the lack of warmth that he had had while lazing on the couch.

Then his eyes locked on the woman before him, he instantly knew who she was.

The split between his infamous rival Grimmjow Jeagerjaques and his wife had been all over the media. But that wasn't the only way he knew her. Even though in high school he had never talked to her and would never have admitted it, he had been nursing a crush on her. Saya Kurashina. Before he could work up the nerve to talk to her, that blue-haired jackass had swooped in and stolen any chance he had.

Her vivid blue-green eyes narrowed slightly as she looked him over.

_Great. She's judging me._

"Ah, can I help you?" he said in an indifferent tone. Clad in only a sleeveless muscle shirt and some grey sweats, he cursed himself for not being more appropriately dressed.

"I have an appointment with Mr. Kurosaki," she said in a formal, but polite tone.

Ichigo's throat seemed to go dry at her mature voice asking for him. Then he heard an obnoxious giggle. He squinted as he looked down to see a kid holding his heartthrob's hand who looked strikingly familiar to his sworn enemy.

_Damn! I didn't know they had a kid!_ Ichigo cursed his luck yet again.

"Your head looks like an orange snow-cone!" the kid burst into laughter.

_A WHAT? Why that little—_

"Nel, what did I say in the car?" the mother looked down at her daughter. The little girl blinked and furrowed her tiny eyebrows, then lit up with a swelling smile.

"If ya can't say something nice, lie!"

"That's right, so mind your manners little missy."

"NOW?!" the kid looked devastated.

"Starting right now," the dark-haired beauty nodded. The little kid pouted at her feet.

"Ok?" her mother chided in a lighter tone. "Roger that? Affirmative?"

The sea-foam green haired girl cracked a jolly smile.

"Aye Aye Capt'in!"

"At ease," the once object of Ichigo's affection smiled down proudly at her daughter, then her gazed focused once again on the sloppy looking punk before her. She thought he looked a little familiar, which made sense since Rukia had said the Kurosaki's were old friends of hers. But she didn't think she had ever really talked to this kid back in highschool. All she remembered was he was a bit of a juvenile.

"Sorry about that," she smiled slightly. "Anyway, I'm Saya Kurashina. I spoke on the phone with Mr. Kurosaki the other day and he told us to be here at 10 o'clock."

Ichigo scratched his head.

"I think I'd remember if I talked to you," he answered in a rough voice, his throat still hoarse. Saya raised an eyebrow doubtfully.

"You run the clinic?"

"Huh?" Then it dawned on him. "OH!"

_Not new grill! New GIRL! God you're sucha freakin idiot Ichigo!_

"You're here about the job opening!"

She nodded with a growing smirk. His nervousness telling her he had screwed up somehow.

"You mean DR. Kurosaki, my Dad. I'm.. I'm Ichigo…" He stood there stupidly, rubbing the back of his neck with embarrassment.

"AHAHAHAH! YOU'RE A STRAWBERRY-HEAD, NOT A SNOW-CONE! AHAH-" the little girl cringed at the quick glance from her mother. "Sorry Mama…" she mumbled into her stuffed dinosaur.

Saya looked back at Ichigo with an apologetic and slightly impatient expression.

He scowled as he felt his face heat up. _Stupid bratty children. I swear, I'm never having kids._

"I'll just…ah, go get him for you then. Wait here. Sorry about the mix up." Ichigo closed the door and skirted to the other door that lead to the clinic and his Dad's office.

He wanted to kick himself for whatever wrongs he had committed in his past life that made karma such a pain in the ass in this one.

_Why the hell did she have to show up?...What the hell Rukia!_

That ex-bassist little witch had some explaining to do.

To Be Continued…

…..

**SO?! ICHIGO HAS COME INTO THE PICTURE?! IT'S A NO-BRAINER WHATS GONNA HAPPEN NEXT! But then again, I don't like no-brainers…but then again, you can't ignore no-brainers either…STAY TUNED! And next will have a peak at Grimmjow's state.**

**Next Chapter: ****_Denial_**


	4. Chapter 4: Denial

**DISCLAIMER: All rights of original Bleach characters/story go to Tite Kubo (we love you!). …..**

Grimmjow sat in his basement. He had his guitar in his lap but he hardly felt like playing.

The past week had been hell, and all he could think about was the humiliation he was suffering since his wife had actually found the nerve to hit the road.

He strummed his guitar bitterly. Who the hell did she think she was? Leaving HIM. HIM! He had been voted the sexiest man alive 6 years running in the Seireitei Monthly! There wasn't a woman in the world of the living who hadn't dreamed of trailing their fingers over the masculine jawline of Grimmjow Jeagerjaques—and SHE had left HIM.

The only contact Grimmjow had had with her since the night she left was when he got a call from a very shrewd woman, claiming to be Saya's lawyer but it was only Rukia and Grimmjow never took that f*cking dwarf seriously. He doubted she was smart enough to work as a gym teacher with her height, let alone graduate from a f*cking law school.

The "lawyer" had hinted that she knew about Grimmjow's dealings with Sousuke Aizen and was covertly extorting him into a position that would leave him with nothing and Saya with everything.

_What the f*ck is up with that bitch? Goddam woman…_

He missed her.

Even if she was a f*ckin pain, she was his girl. And only his girl. She wasn't like the chicks he met on the road. She didn't go home with some other guy like his fans did once he was done with them. Saya was his and no other man could ever have a piece of her. She was all his, and now she had run off the f*ck away from him.

Grimmjow couldn't even remember the last time Saya had gone somewhere without him knowing. She never really went anywhere without him other than the grocery store, Nel's doctor, the pharmacy, the one gas station across from that ice cream place she liked, the park, and Rukia's house, and all those other places he hated, since they'd been married. Grimmjow knew since he kept tabs on her.

Other than that, he didn't let her go out by herself. He knew how f*ckin naïve she could be and didn't like her going any place where unwelcome eyes could look at her. And now she was f*cking gone and none of his connections could find a trace of her. Grimmjow knew it probably had to do with the damn lawyer covering Saya's tracks.

He f*ckin missed her.

He missed coming home and having her there whenever he needed her, keeping his house clean and his bed warm.

He didn't really think about Nel much. Although not hearing his baby girl's laugh when he blasted a zombie to pieces in Call-of-Duty did leave him feeling somewhat empty.

He had to hire a maid to do the f*cking laundry for Christ's Sake! That newbie folded his pants totally wrong! And how hard was it to put his shirts on hangers? HOW F*CKING HARD IS THAT?

"Tch!" he glowered to himself. He wanted to smash his guitar into the wall. He couldn't function properly when he hadn't buttered his Muffin in a god dam month. Well, it felt like a month.

_I need a drink… _This was seriously affecting his sanity.

"I see the house is still empty except for your lonely ass Grimmjow."

Grimmjow glared at Nnoitora as he and the rest of the band came down the stairs.

"Couldn't get her back huh?" Nnoitora smirked. "You weren't man enough for her anyway. I mean I'm no Fred Flintstone, but _I_ could make her bedROCK!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP NNOITORA! How many times do I have to tell you to stop fantasizing about my wife in front of me!"

"Ex-wife," Nnoitora leered cheekily, "and if you weren't watching when I nailed her, then your reaction wouldn't be nearly as satisfying."

"Shut your f*ckin trap!" Grimmjow jumped to his feet, and would've punched the asshole if Gin hadn't held him back.

"Now now gentlemen, we didn't come here to start another break-up."

"F*CK OFF GIN!"

"Uhh," Szayel groaned, sitting on his drum stool. "Can't you idiots forget about that woman and focus on the F*CKING_ music_!"

Szayel had been especially touchy due to the shortage of band practice. He and Grimmjow were really the only two members who cared about the music. In fact, if Szayel weren't so skilled at the drums, Grimmjow never would have let that psycho join.

He swore Szayel was routing for the other team.

"I'm so _sick _of this pity-party you've been throwing for yourself Grimmjow!"

"Show some sympathy for the loser, Szayel," Nnoitora gestured at Grimmjow. "He obviously hasn't gotten laid recently—"

"I SAID SHUT IT!"

"It has been rather obvious that you're frustrated," Gin smiled mischievously. "Last night with the red-head didn't help eh?"

"Maybe it would have if my f*Cking _wife _wasn't still missing _Gin_, tch," Grimmjow said snidely. "She won't f*cking talk to me! I don't even know where she is!"

"Did you even go LOOKING for her?" Nnoitora snarked.

"No shit!" Grimmjow growled and then slumped back into his chair. "I'm going mad with her gone."

"Well if you want her back that much, you have to reach out to her and romance her," Szayel said, like it was so clear that it should have been burned onto the insides of Grimmjow's eyelids.

"And how an I suppose to do that when I CAN'T FIND HER DUMB-ASS!?"

Szayel rolled his eyes.

"_S.M.U.R.F'ed_ is the number one, most widely listened to band in Japan, Grimmjow—in the world! You screwed up your marriage on stage, so fixing it there will be the quickest way to catch her attention. You are an utter disgrace to the practice of thinking if you could not come to that simple solution by yourself, " Szayel stated irritably as he twirled his drumsticks between his fingers.

"Have you even apologized for that song about Nel?" Gin raised an eyebrow, though his eyelids still remained sealed.

"Tch."

"You men are such arrogant bastards," Szayel shook his head with distain.

"I don't see why he should get her back in the first place," Nnoitora stepped in. "How hard is it to go downtown, find a street corner, whip out a $20, and—"

"BECAUSE A BACK-ALLEY WHORE IS NOT THE SAME AS A SPOUSE YOU INSENSATIVE FOOL!" Szayel screamed at the freakishly tall man. "If Grimmjow needs Saya in order to perform, then WE are going to get her back. I've worked to f*cking hard for this band to fall into ruin because of something as petty as an unhappy marriage. SO CLAMP YOUR GAPING MAW SHUT NNOITORA SO WE CAN DEVISE A STRATEGY!"

_To be continued…_

**…**

**Next chap is going to be verrry long-its taking me forever! Which is why I decided to post this part of it, cuz you faithfully awesome readers deserve an update. **

**Next Chapter: ****_Caution: The Child Bites_**


	5. Chapter 5: The Child Bites

**DISCLAIMER: All rights of original Bleach characters/story go to Tite Kubo (we love you!). …..**

**_Back to the Kurosaki Clinic:_**

"And you just left them outside?!" Isshin shook his head with heavy disappointment. "I raised you better than that! OH Masaki! How can I continue on with such a sad excuse of a son! HOW?!"

Isshin opened the door and greeted the two visitors.

"I most _deeply_ apologize for my son's rude behavior!"

Ichigo rolled his eyes as the goat face lead the mother and daughter in the house.

"I am none other than Isshin Kurosaki, the most ruggedly handsome, fiendishly affordable (not including tax) doctor in town. I am delighted to meet your acquaintance, Ms. Kurashina!"

Saya went to meet what she thought was a handshake, but Isshin took her hand in his lightly and kissed it.

_I knew it, he's a total _goon, Saya thought to herself. I'm_ surprised he's not wearing a cheetah print speedo, or keeping giant posters of his wife and kids on the walls._

"Nice to meet you Dr. Kurosaki," Saya said with a smile, concealing every flicker of awkward discomfort that her possibly-future-boss was inflicting on her.

"Wha?!" Nel squeaked next to Saya.

"And who is this little cutie-pie? Don't be shy, say hewwo to your new unckie-YAOOWW!" Nel promptly it the black-haired doctor on his hand. Isshin squealed in pain, and Ichigo snickered to himself.

"Nel! Behave!" Saya said sharply. Nel released the doctor from her jaw with a hurt expression and looked up at her mother.

"YOU SAID IT WAZN'T A DOCTORS VISIT! YOU PWROMISED NEL! NO DOCTORS!" Nel cried. "HOW COULD YA LIE TA NEL MAMA? NEL DOESN'T WANNA GET SHOTS WIFF GIANT NEEDLES THAT WILL STEAL ALL NEL'S BLOOD- And then Nel will turn in tah a Zombie—"

"Nel," Saya tried to calm the tike down.

"'N then rise from the DEAD!" Nel's' eyes widened and she spoke as if she was talking to herself. "And Wanna eat everyone's bRAINS! Ahh!"

"Nel—"

"And THEN! YOU'LL KILL NEL! YA'D SHOOT NEL BECUZ NEL WOULD BE SO VICIOUS," Nell was hugging her dinosaur, then threw it suddenly, "NEL WOULD EVEN WANNA EAT BAWA-BAWA! RUN BAWA-BAWA! QUICK! SAVE YOURSELF!"

"NEL!"

Nel fell silent and Saya knelt down to her eye-level.

"Look at me. This is **not** a doctor's appointment. You are not getting any shots. And NO ONE is going to turn into a Zombie! We're here because I'm trying to work _with_ the doctors, and if I do get to work with him, then _I _would get to take care of you even if you did need a shot. Don't you think that sounds better than a doctor that's a stranger?"

Nel's eyes widened.

"You's gonna be a doctor?"

Saya tilted her head.

"Maybe," she brushed through some of Nel's bangs. "If you'd be good then that would help Mama have better luck. So no more biting ok?"

"But Nel was be'in a Zombie…" Nel explained. Saya sighed.

"I'm going to kill your father, " she cursed under her breath, then cleared her throat. "Now say your sorry."

"Sorry Mister Doctor Guy!" Nel patted Isshin on his face as he blubbered on the floor, clutching his hand.

"Oh ho ho ho, that's just fine," he wheezed and smiled through tears, "it brings me back to the days when Karin was teething!"

Saya smiled at the sentiment and helped him to his feet. She noticed the orange-haired boy was watching her.

His hard gaze faltered and he scowled to himself, looking away.

_What was that look for? _Saya glared at the boy. _Child-hating-Ginger._

"Is Karin the one who will be watching Nel?" Saya asked the doctor.

"No, not today at least. Karin is at a soccer tournament this weekend," his eyes shone with pride. "But it's my precious Yuzu who will be babysitting today!"

"If she ever gets out of the bathroom," Saya heard Ichigo mutter.

"Yuzu!" Isshin called up the stairs. "They're here!"

"One second Dad!"

A cheerful, slender girl came down the stairs. Her hair was a different color than her brothers and her fathers, a muted blonde color tied up in loose pigtails. She looked about a high-schoolers age.

"Hello there!" she greeted. "I'm Yuzu. It's so nice to meet you. And you must be Nel!" She bent down with her hands on her knees to address the toddler.

There was no doubt that she was the doctor's offspring. She was just like him, insanely upbeat…. unlike the ginger.

Nel smiled at Yuzu.

"You smell like Cotton Candy!" Nel exclaimed.

_Oh good,_ Saya breathed with relief. _I was afraid that had been her 'we're gonna be best friends smile' _Saya shuddered inwardly. In Nel's world, best friend equaled new toy, aka: Punching-bag, aka: Death.

"Aw, I'm glad you like it!" Yuzu laughed. "Ichigo got it for me since I got him the Power-Ranger boxers he wanted."

Ichigo's ears went steaming red, but Yuzu didn't notice.

"You give each other PRESENTS?!" Nel gaped.

"Of course, that's what siblings do! " Yuzu giggled with a cheery smile. "I was hoping that he could use them to show of to his girlfriend hehheh if he ever gets one—"

"_Yuzu_!" Ichigo blushed angrily.

"Oh!" Yuzu clapped one hand over her mouth, regret flooded her features. "I'm sorry Ichi-nii! It just came out like that, I didn't mean—"

"Mama! Kin ya make another baby so Nel kin have a brother that gives her presents too? PLEASE!?" Nel tugged in a wiggling manner on Saya's sleeve. Now it was Saya's turn to be embarrassed.

"I'm not having a baby any time soon Nel."

"But haw come?!"

"Because you already cause me enough trouble, you little Gremlin," Saya cunningly swerved around a real explanation.

Nel laughed cheekily, then realized that her mother had just said 'N.O.'

"FINE!" Nel crossed her chubby arms across her little torso, and then an evil smile crept onto her face. "Then YOU'LL have tah be Nel's big brother ITSYGO!"

"WHAT?!" Ichigo shouted with outrage.

"AND WE'LL ALL BE ONE BIG HAPPY FAMILY! OH HOW I WISH YOU COULD SEE US NOW MY SWEET MASAKI!" Isshin hugged a huge picture of a woman with the same color hair as Yuzu that was hanging on the wall randomly.

Saya stiffened at the sight. _I feel the need to call the police and report a sighting of the mentally obsessed and insane._

"PWEASE ITSYGO? PWEASE?!" Nel clung to Ichigo's leg as he tried to shake her off.

"No Way! That's the last thing I want!"

"PwEAAASSSE? Nel said pwease so YA HAVE TO SAY YES!" Nel shrieked possessively.

"Nelliel, leave that boy alone," Saya sighed, putting her hands on her hips.

"_Boy?_" Ichigo questioned Saya as he struggled with the little girl.

"Hard of hearing?" Saya smiled and tapped her right ear. Ichigo scowled.

"If you think you can just walk in here and—AWAHOWWW!" Ichigo cried out in pain.

"NEL!"

Saya meant to stop her daughter from chewing off the gingers leg, but she couldn't help cracking a grin at the sight of the well-toned—exTREMELY well-toned now that she looked—man at the mercy of a child who was no taller than his knee.

"You scream like a girl too," Nel observed gleefully.

"CONTROL YOUR KID WOULD YA!" Ichigo shouted at Saya. "HAVEN'T YOU EVER HEARD OF A LEASH?!"

Saya went silent with rage. No one talked about Nel like that.

_Men…Selfish…Irresponsible..Men…every last one of them is the same…have no idea what it takes to handle a child…Stupid ARROGANT __**MEN!**_

Nel saw the look in her mother's eyes and immediately retreated behind Yuzu for cover.

"Say none more thing about my daughter or my parenting," Saya strode up and squared off to Ichigo. "Go on. I DARE you."

Isshin watched them closely.

Ichigo was somewhat shocked at how she affronted him, but no way in hell _he_ was backing down.

He took a step closer to her, leaving only about a foot between them. He had about a 4 inch advantage as he drew up to his full height, using it to intimidate her.

"No problem. Your kid's a dam lunatic. The only reason why I don't blame her for it is because I can see where she gets it from!"

He couldn't tell if he had struck a nerve, but Ichigo regretted it instantly. It was stupid to pick a fight with her. Why did this woman have to put him into such an offensive mood?

*_Wam!_*

"AHHHG!" Ichigo stumbled back, stunned and clutching the side of his head. "YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE EAR!"

Saya glared at him with a hint of satisfaction.

"Hehe," Nel laughed, "You make Mama madder than Daddy does Itsygo."

Ichigo's eyes flashed and he saw a similar expression frozen on Saya's face. He swallowed. He couldn't stand being compared to that miserable jackass, let alone be deemed **worse** by the douche-bag's own kid.

"Sorry," Ichigo said, breaking the awkward silence.

Saya shook her head, rubbing her brow.

"Forget about it, sorry I hit you, " she sighed and then scooped up Nel in her arms.

"Are we leaving Mama?" Nel asked sadly.

"Yep, its time to go honey."

"But…But Nel wants ta play wif Itsygo."

"I know sweetie, but it's just not going to work out if Mama can't control her temper and starts hitting the strawberry snow cone every time—"

"YOU'RE HIRED!" Isshin declared.

To Be Continued….

…**….**

Stay tuned for next time, a look into the origin of how Saya and her Ex first got together! And Give me some feedback on how I'm doing!

DO I NEED TO GET A LIFE? JOB? PETICURE? OR am I doing ok?

**Next Chapter: ****_The Smurf Smolder_**


	6. Chapter 6: The Smurf Smolder

**DISCLAIMER: All rights of original Bleach characters/story go to Tite Kubo (we love you!). …..**

**_~*FLASHBACK*~_**

"This it?" Saya asked Yumichika as she pulled the car up to a house. They were in one of the rich neighborhoods.

"Yes, this is it!" Yumichika squealed with joy.

"Ok then," Saya quirked an eyebrow at her buddy's excitement. "Have fun. But don't forget you owe me gas money now."

"Are you seriously not coming?" Yumichika exasperated grudgingly.

"Parties aren't my thing Yumi."

"Oh C'mon!" Yumi pulled on her arm. "I need you to come! I need you to scope out Szayel for me."

"Szayel? You mean that pretty-boy-genius with the pink hair?"

"Obviously, who else has that kind of exotic name?" Yumichika snapped, then got a dreamy look on his face. "Sssszayel, mmh, it just rolls right off your tongue."

"How do you even know she—er he's gonna be there?" Saya complained.

"He's the drummer in the band Saya!"

"Oh."

The whole reason why this party was being thrown was because there had been a Battle of the Bands in the area. Apparently two of the bands had been from Karakura High, one of them had been Rukia and Chad's band and but the other one had actually won. Hence: Party.

"Duh Saya. Seriously, where have you been?"

"Not partying, obviously… Now get outta my car!" Saya said. She really just wanted to go home and re-read some Harry Potter…_Probably the Order of the Phoenix..yah… that damn toad-faced Umbridge…_

"Saya! C'mon! You need to let loose at least ONCE in your life," Yumichika pleaded.

"You just want me to stay so that you have a ride home."

No response.

_I knew it! _Saya thought to herself, rolling her eyes.

"I do not," Yumichika crossed his arms. "But if you do give me a ride home," he explained, "then I won't have to worry about hitching a ride with some pervert who would end up forcing himself on my delicious gimme-some-a-that body, and my stolen virtue wouldn't be on your conscience for the rest of your life."

*Sweat Drop * . . .

"Fine," Saya conceded.

"You're the best!" Yumichika hugged Saya as she grumbled to herself.

"But if you ditch me—"

"I won't honey—lets hit this bitch!" Yumi bounded out of the car.

_~oOoOoOoOoOo~_

The house was packed with people as Yumichika shoved his way through.

_How the hell are we suppose to find __**anyone**__ in this crowd?_ Saya groaned inwardly.

"Hmmm, lets go this way," Yumichika dragged Saya after him around the house. Saya recognized a few people from school, most of which were people she didn't like. Yammy, Rangiku, Gilfort, Momo, Luppi, Sun-Sun and her gaggle, and the worst, Nnoitora.

She prayed to God that he wouldn't see her. _Stupid, Egg-Headed—_

"Oh there's that lucky bastard Nnoitora," Yumi glared. "Apparently he's in the band too…getting to spend time with that hot piece of—Oh," Yumichika blinked.

"What?"

"He likes you right?"

"That creep likes anything that walks on two legs and doesn't have a 'Y' chromosome," Saya scoffed.

"Yaah, but I mean he's got it out for you. Didn't he follow you into the girls bathroom and—"

"And apart from when I punched him in the throat, I never want to speak of that again!" Saya fumed.

"So that's a yes. Good. Go ask him where Szayel is for me."

"Hell No!" Saya refused. "You ask him!"

"He hates me too much, he won't tell me. Please Sayaaa? For Meee?" Yumi begged.

"No."

Yumichika pulled out a cookie.

"Is that a snicker-doodle?" Saya gasped.

"Yep," Yumichika smiled.

Saya snatched it out of his hand defensively and grumbled to herself as she put it in her purse for later.

"You're the Best Saya!" Yumichika called as Saya headed toward Nnoitora, who was occupied with 2 girls for company.

". . . so can I get you ladies a drink, or do you just want the money?" he was saying.

"HEY," Saya interrupted rudely.

"Well," Nnoitora grinned slyly. "I didn't know you were a fan Saya. Or did you just come here for a chance to get down with my foot long—"

"Szayel's in your band isn't he?" Saya rolled her eyes to herself, disgusted.

"That freak?" Nnoitora frowned. "What do you want with him?"

"Just tell me where he is," Saya persisted impatiently.

"What do I get outta it?" Nnoitora smirked stubbornly. "Whatever is it, I want it to be dirty." The two girls sent Saya an icy look before dropping Nnoitora's arms and leaving.

"How about you tell me where he is, or I snap your leg off and beat you with it."

Nnoitora growled and muttered to himself.

"This way," he began worming his way through people into another room. Saya beckoned Yumichika over and shoved him after the tall gangly man.

But Saya didn't follow. Severus Snape would wash his hair before she would voluntarily go anywhere with Nnoitora.

_You're on your own Yumi…_ She had no doubts that Yumichika would find the object of his next fling.

Saya weaved her way out of the room with all the drinks and went into one that had less people.

Through the crowd, a pair of eyes followed her as she went.

Grimmjow smirked to himself. He had spied his kill for the night.

There was a stereo in the other room playing what Saya assumed to be the music Yumi had been raving about.

_I guess people really are just here for the beer… _she thought, seeing as no one was really paying attention to the music anymore.

Earlier it had sounded like some variation of Screamo, but now it sounded like a sort of hard-core Rap.

_What the hell kind of genre are they?_

The singer had a darkly appealing, yet harsh sounding voice. But she wasn't into Rap.

At all. (A/N: No offense to those of you who like rap!)

She sighed.

_Gawd…what did I let that girly-man-slut get me into…?_ She just wanted to go home.

She turned away from the speakers to go find her lust-struck friend when her gaze met two electrifying blue eyes.

The tall blue-haired teen gave her a killer smile as he headed in her direction. Saya furrowed her eyebrows and shook off the eye contact, making to leave.

Grimmjow caught up to her when the girl paused to peek into the kitchen packed with people who were shouting 'Chug! Chug!'.

"I bet you $50 you're gonna turn me down," he said to her with a cocky grin. He knew how to charm her type. A few witty comments would get her laughing, perk her interest, and she'd be his for the night.

"I bet _you_ $50 that within the next five minutes, you're going to get your face smashed," she retorted, looking him straight in the face with no signs of swooning.

Grimmjow laughed. "You here alone?" he couldn't help but notice she was looking for someone.

"No," the girl answered frankly. "I was forced into coming here by my stupid friend because he wanted to meet the drummer of whatever band this is about. Personally, I have no interest being here, and certainly no interest in talking to you." With that, she swept past him, hopefully crushing his confidence.

_Now some hot guy is—for undetermined reasons— hitting on me! WHERE THE HELL IS YUMI?! _She absolutely had to go home now.

Unfortunately for Saya, Grimmjow was far from deterred. Whether he had caught her interest or not, she had sparked his.

Her attitude and bold remark only enticed him on his hunt. He thrived on the challenge, it was so rare. But the way she had brushed off his band…That pissed him off.

"You don't listen to the band?" he asked as she came back out of another living room, no luck in finding the missing person.

"Why the hell do you want to know?" she said, hardly paying attention to him as she looked about for her friend.

"I'm the lead singer, and I'd love for some feedback if you've listened to our stuff," Grimmjow's eyes lingered over her, "especially from someone as mature looking as yourself."

She raised an eyebrow.

"You want my honest opinion? Ok." She turned to face him. Having her this close made Grimmjow more and more zealous. Especially the way her stormy blue-green eyes looked up at him through her full black lashes.

"I think it sounds like a bunch of angry, wanna-be-gangsters screaming like an emo version of the Back Street Boys."

"The F*ck you just say?" Grimmjow stared in rage.

"And you swear too much," she added.

_BACK STREET BOYS?! The F*CKING—NO. Are kidding me?! BACK STREET BOYS SOUND LIKE PUSSY ASS SHIT!_

She smiled at him for the first time.

"Truth to much for you to handle?"

"Tch! We ain't nothin like those posers!"

"You're just about as much of a band as they are."

Grimmjow glared at her. This chick was insulting his band. If she didn't look so doable he would have beat the shit outta her right then and there. But at the same time…he wanted to know why his music wasn't meeting her standards.

"They didn't play instruments," Grimmjow countered her argument. "So you can't compare us with them." He smirked as she thought to herself, her head tilting slightly as she considered his point.

_Progress…now just a little farther, _he thought.

"I guess you deserve credit for that," she decided.

"Damn right we do. And I deserve an apology from you for bringing F.Y.U. down to the level of that shitty music.."

"F.Y.U?" she questioned.

"F*ck You Up," Grimmjow explained with a grin.

"_That's_ the name of your band? Wow. How'd you manage to come up with something SO original?"

"Tch, you'd better watch that smart-ass mouth of yours, before _you_ get f*cked up." Grimmjow cornered her.

It took a second for Saya to realize he had her cornered.

Literally.

His muscular figure towered over her, blocking her from all sides.

She glared and made to walk past him but he swiftly put his arm up, pressing his hand against the wall, barring her in. And then she saw his bicep.

_HoLY MoTheR of all that is good and NATURAL he's ripped!_

Grimmjow smirked and tilted his head slightly.

"Like what you see, do ya?"

"That's sick," Saya pointed at his godly arm. "That is just _sick_!" she accused with even greater distain. "Dear God—how is that even humanly possible?"

"Have a feel if you're so curious," Grimmjow flexed his arm in place.

"What?! EW! No!" Saya made a face. "Get out of my purple circle!"

"First, tell me your name sexy," he came closer.

"Taken," she answered with a lie, and had to put a hand on his chest to stop him from advancing further.

He frowned. But then a wicked smirk grew even wider on his handsome face than it had been the first time.

"You're getting ahead of yourself don't'cha think? We've only just met."

Saya rolled her eyes, _This is why I don't go out on the weekends. I mean, this has never happened before—I mean LORD LOOK AT THIS MAN—but staying home is always the best pre-caution!_

"I wasn't talking about YOU dumbass! I _already_ have a boyfriend."

"I don't buy it," Grimmjow shook his head, looking more confident than ever.

"Ok fine. So we're not 'official'," Saya quoted with her fingers. "But we're basically dating."

Grimmjow raised an eyebrow. "Who?"

"Yumichika Ayasegawa. Why else would I have come to this stupid party for him?"

_Besides the guilt-tripping…_Saya kept to herself.

"You mean," Grimmjow gestured by jutting his chin, "that Yumichika Ayasegawa?"

Saya followed the direction of his hint to see Yumi across the room having a heated make out session with Szayelapporor Granz. Girls were gathering and taking pictures, swooning at the eroticism.

"OH MY GAWD!" Saya gaped. _He better not be drunk!_

"Well um," Saya stuttered as she realized that Grimmjow was studying her, waiting for a response. "That he's gay is news to me! I can't believe he lead me on like that! Excuse me, I need to go ugly-cry."

She almost got away by ducking under Grimmjow's arm, but he caught her shoulder and pulled her back to face him.

"Back off jackass!" Saya yelled at him.

_Why is no one seeing this!? Yumi! Help me! I'm about to be deflowered by a sexy blue-eyed Smurf!...Wait….He's hot… sooo, why am I complaining?—SHUT UP INNER THOUGHTS!_

"It's Grimmjow,' the Smurf gazed at her smugly, "Grimmjow Jeagerjaques. You're gonna wanna remember that."

"Grimmjow huh?" Saya looked back at him. "How long do you think we've been talking, _Grimmjow_?"

"Bout 5 minutes," he said nonchalantly. "But we've got all night to get to know each other better," Grimmjow said smoothly and gave her a darkly seductive glance as he went in for a kiss.

_Perfect timing_, Saya thought, smirking.

Before he could make a landing, Saya grabbed him and smashed his face into the wall.

"You Bitch!" Grimmjow howled, hands covering his nose, "YOU BROKE MY SMOLDER!"

"Hehehe!" Saya laughed, "Looks like I win! You owe me 50 bucks!" Saya dashed off, snatching Yumichika away from doing something he would regret once the footage hit the internet and booked it the hell out of there.

"_Dam_ that Bitch," Grimmjow whipped under his bloody nose with the back of his hand. "Nobody makes me bleed my own blood. NOBODY!"

**_End of FlashBack:_**

To Be Continued…

…..

How did you guys like that!? Hehehe, Tangled and DodgeBall reference. I just had to. Thanks to all you readers!

Crazyforgrimmy: You're such a sweetheart! You did have me going for a sec in your first review, hehe. But thank you thank you so much. I've just been having some personal stuff going on, but I have another chapter after this to make up for your patience! And I love Ichigo too! Hope this story keeps going I the right direction and THANK YOU for your reviews!

**Next Chapter: ****_Ya'll Be Bitchin_**


	7. Chapter 7: Ya'll Be Bitchin

**DISCLAIMER: All rights of original Bleach characters/story go to Tite Kubo (we love you!). …..**

**_Kurosaki Clinic:_**

Ichigo had always known he wasn't his Dad's favorite child, but it wasn't until now that he realized the goat face HATED him.

"What the Hell Dad?!" Ichigo yelled at his so-called father as soon as Saya and her kid had left. He couldn't believe his Dad had hired her! "She's nuts! They both are!"

Isshin just smiled.

"I like her."

"She punched me!" Ichigo questioned his father's decision-making skills.

"Welp," Isshin put a hand on his son's shoulder. "That's because you deserved it son."

"_What_?" Ichigo squinted at the goat face with confusion.

"You can't go around insulting a mother's child like that without facing the consequences! Really, Ichigo," Isshin said seriously, "you have got a LOT to learn about women m'boy."

Suddenly Ichigo was in a chokehold.

"GAAAH-DAD!" Ichigo gasped as his old man wrestled.

"Someday you'll meet a nice girl like that," Isshin dreamed out loud while choking his son. "And fall in love just like I did with your Mother!"

Ichigo broke out of the hold and kicked his Dad into the wall.

"Are you kidding!? That girl is nothing like Mom!" Ichigo shouted hotly. He didn't like talking about his Mom anyway, but comparing Mom to a girl who he _used_ to have a crush on and who got _married_ to the guy he _hated_ more than anything…that was not cool.

"I don't know," Isshin said with strained effort as he tried to get back on his feet, "seems to me like she's pretty devoted to her kid, which was one of your Mom's best qualities…" he nudged his son in the chest and winked, "and it only made her more attractive." He punched his son playfully in the stomach before going back into his office.

Ichigo remained in place. Squinting with frustration and confusion at whatever it was his Dad was saying.

So what if being a protective mom was a good quality? It didn't change that fact that Saya was Nel's mom and that bastard Grimmjow was Nel's dad.

Man he hated that guy. His long-lasting resentment of Grimmjow may have started with how he had liked Saya, but really it was about his band. Really. For Real.

_How the hell could I like a crazy girl like that anyway?_ Ichigo scowled to himself over his Dad's words.

There was no way he could still have a crush on Saya 5 years after high school.

~o0o0o0o0o~

Saya had hardly slept at all last night. A mixture of calls from Grimmjow and Rukia had kept her from getting any rest. Grimmjow had blown a fuse over the moving guys who had gone to the house to pick up the rest of Saya and Nel's things. So Saya was getting threats and insults from him, and alternately updates on Grimmjow's assault on the movers from Rukia. He had apparently broken a lot of stuff in the house, used his guitar to smash the windshield of the moving van, punched out three of the moving-men's teeth and noses, and resisted arrest.

And then came the numerous, drunken "come bail me out" phone calls.

She would be in a rather sour mood this morning if she weren't so worried about Nel having a babysitter.

Rukia had done her a HUGE favor to get her a job where she could take Nel to work. She really didn't want things to get ugly. And with Nel…things usually got ugly, or at least covered in chocolate.

"Ok munchkin," Saya swung her hand that was holding Nel's as they walked up to the Kurosaki Clinic. "I need you to be good today, alright?"

"'Kay!" Nel grinned a toothy grin.

"And what did I tell you in the car?"

"Huh?" Nel asked cheerfully.

"Remember the rules you have when you're at someone's house?" she looked at her daughter.

Nel nodded.

"No eatin stuff tha's not Nel's," Nel listed on her pudgy finger, "No biting things tha's not Nel's, annnd no drinking wha's under the sink hiding in cabinets, cuz that's not for Nel."

"Perfect!" Saya clapped. Nel poisoning herself was one of Saya's top worries that she hoped could be prevented by setting some ground rules. Sure, there were a ton of other fears in Saya's head about how Nel could cause trouble and hurt herself without her mother's supervision. But she was going to have to count on the babysitter to protect Nel from her own self-destruction.

"Wha's that lady's name again Mama?" Nel asked as Saya knocked on the door.

"Her name is Yuzu," Saya said. "And you know what? Her Dad, Dr. Kurosaki, said on the phone that Yuzu knows how to make stuffed animals, so I bet she's got a ton of little buddies Bawa Bawa can play with."

"REallYYYY?" Nel gasped and Saya nodded happily at her daughter's excitement.

"But Mama, Nel gets to play with Itsygo too right?"

"Uh…" Saya blinked at the question.

_How is it she remembered that guy's name and not Yuzu's?_

The door opened.

"Good Morning Mrs. Jeagerjaques!" Yuzu greeted with no small degree of pep. "Hi Nel!"

"Morning Yuzu..but um..I'm actually using my maiden name now," Saya said calmly, hiding how much the name Jeagerjaques irritated her.

"Oh!" Yuzu started to apologize but was interrupted.

"BAWA BAWA WANTS TAH SEE ALL YOU'S FRIENDS!" Nel held up her stuffed dinosaur.

"I told her about all the stuffed animals your Dad said you had," Saya explained and then said low enough so Nel couldn't hear, "but don't tell her that you sew."

Yuzu's forehead wrinkled in slight confusion. Saya didn't really want to go into detail about the last time Nel had played with a needle and thread, so she just brushed it off.

"Trust me," Saya smiled. "And here's some other toys, just incase." Saya handed Yuzu a bag. "If you need anything, don't hesitate to ask. Really, anything you need help with, just let me know," Saya repeated rather forcefully. "Immediately."

_Please. Tell me immediately if there is an emergency. I'm usually the only one who can stop her before it's too late…_

"M'kay O'kay," Nel pushed her Mother's leg, "can Nel play now?"

"Of course, you two have fun," Saya let her little girl go. She prayed nothing would get set on fire.

"Thanks Mrs. Jeagerjaques," Yuzu called as she was tugged away by Nel. "My Dad should be with you in a second!"

"Ok thanks!" _It's KURASHINA now…NOT Jeagerjaques… _Saya couldn't help but mentally correct the girl. "Be good Nel!"

She breathed anxiously to herself. "It's only stuffed animals. They'll be fine. Stuffed animals are fluffy and soft. Nothing to worry about. No ones ever gotten killed by a stuffed animal."

_There's a first time for everything._

"Oh god…" Saya closed her eyes. "Don't even think about that stuff Saya…you are way over reacting…"

Ichigo had waited until the demon from hell had gone into Yuzu's room before he headed down the hall. He didn't know why he had gotten up early, but he wouldn't have been able to sleep anyway. He could hear Nel the second the door to the house opened and there was no way he'd be able to fall back asleep with all the racket.

He got to the stairs and saw Saya at the bottom, mumbling to herself.

"…it'll be fine. You bribed her with ice cream if she behaves so she should be fine…she can't say no to ice cream…I could really go for some ice cream," she was saying and rubbing her forehead.

Ichigo saw the sleeplessness and concern in her face. He probably owed her more credit than he had given her yesterday for being the Mom of that little monster.

Suddenly Saya's phone went off.

"Shoot," Saya mumbled to herself. She had forgotten to shut it off, good thing it was ringing now before she started her first day.

And then she saw who the caller was.

"God dam son-of-a-b-," She muttered angrily and answered the phone, "–_Go to Hell!"_ and then hung up. She made sure to shut off the cell phone and stuffed it in her purse. Then she noticed the Ginger, just standing there, staring at her.

She looked away with a flushed expression. Like most people, she didn't want her arguments with the biggest-mistake-of-her-life to be overheard.

Ichigo cleared his throat and scratched his head as he shuffled down the stairs. He figured the caller had probably been Grimmjow and he smirked when he heard Saya's words. He hoped she didn't notice.

"Morning," Ichigo said quietly. It was his best attempt at making amends for calling her kid a mutant the day before.

"Yuzu said your Father was on his way?" she replied shortly. Pleasantries weren't her priority at the moment. She needed to get started working so she could take her mind off of Jackass Smurf.

"Uh," Ichigo blinked, feeling the full effect of her cold vibes. "Yeah he's around here somewhere…"

Saya just nodded and crossed her arms.

Ichigo didn't know if he should go look for the goat face or just leave Saya to herself. Before he could decide she spoke again.

"Pajamas huh?" Saya looked at him. "Still?"

Ichigo felt himself under her scrutiny. He had totally forgot about the pajamas again.

"Yeah so," he said roughly, "It's my house." Now that he thought about it, this was his house. Who the hell was she to give him crap about wearing pajamas?

"Your parents house you mean," she nitpicked his words and shifted her weight to her other leg as she stood. "Must be nice."

Ichigo tilted his head defensively. "The hell's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing," Saya shrugged, "Just must be nice waking up every morning knowing everything's taken care of for you." Grimmjow was probably lying in bed with a hangover right now. He probably only called her cuz he wanted something else to drink. If he did have a concert or a studio recording or a frickin trial date to go to, he could miss it without having to worry at all. Nel could be in the hospital (god forbid) or kidnapped and he would probably go back to sleep without losing a wink. Because he was Grimmjow Jeagerjaques, the douchebag with no responsibility.

"Hey! I don't just live here for free you know!" Ichigo scoffed at her.

"Really?" Saya didn't believe that for a second. "So you have a job do you? Are those your work clothes?"

Ichigo stammered with frustration.

No, he didn't have a job and yes, he still lived at his Dad's house. But whose fault was that? GRIMMJOW'S.

"Look!" he scowled. "We haven't signed with anyone yet, but I'm working on an album with my band! It takes time!"

"You're kidding," Saya laughed harshly. "You want into the music business? Ahaha,!" she rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Wow."

"What?" Ichigo huffed. She was mocking him.

"Nothing," she shook her head, "I just had no idea the world was filled with _this _many idiots."

"Hey, watch you're mouth," Ichigo warned. "We don't play that kind of crap music your rich husband does."

Saya glared at the mention of that word.

"And if you're having such a rough time living on your own, why don't you just move back in with him and quit taking all your anger out on me? I'm not the one who knocked you up and left you to raise that kid by yourself." He said it without even thinking.

Saya didn't breathe, she was too shocked at how openly blunt his remark was.

_Ah f*cking dammit,_ Ichigo swore to himself when he saw the look on her face. Why couldn't he ever keep his big mouth shut?

"MAMA!"

The sound of her child's voice was the only thing in the world that could have calmed Saya down at that moment.

Saya closed her eyes and took a breath as she heard the baby footsteps bumbling down the stairs. Dr. Kurosaki and Yuzu followed after Nel.

"Hey munchkin," she heightened the cheer in her voice. "Having fun so far?"

"Yeah! Look!" Nel tried not to drop the armful of stuffed animals she had brought down the stairs. "Yuzu's got a lion bear! And this lil' birdie!" She held up a yellow bird in a blue hood.

"Cute," Saya smiled at Nel and Yuzu.

"She really wanted to show you," Yuzu beamed brightly.

"And a turtle guy! And a bunny bag!"

"And don't forget your big old uncie Isshin!" Isshin patted Nel on her head and hugged Yuzu.

Ichigo didn't know whether to be more ashamed about the conversation he had just had with Saya, or the goat face.

"And a strawberry!" Nel pointed at Ichigo.

"Nel, sweetie," Saya sighed patiently, "Don't call him that."

Ichigo blinked at Saya.

"Awwh," Nel frowned. "Then what can Nel call him?"

"Ehh, you can call me strawberry," Ichigo scratched the back of his neck. _I guess it's not a big deal as long as Renji doesn't hear about it…- _- _That would be a real pain.

"No," Saya shook her head tiredly. "Really, she shouldn't—"

"It's fine," Ichigo assured. "Not like I care what people call me anyway." Ichigo looked at the wall.

Isshin observed the two very carefully.

"YAAH! ITSYGO! ITSYGO'S A STRAWBERRY!" Nel waddled over with her pack of stuffed animals. "Let's play Itsygo!"

"Ahh," Ichigo groaned. "Yah sure kid, just let me eat breakfast or at least take some aspirin first."

"YAAAY! ITSYGO! ITSYGO!" Nel chanted and she and Yuzu followed the ginger into the kitchen. Ichigo wondered what the hell he had just gotten himself into.

Saya watched them warily and turned to Isshin.

"Not to worry," the doctor said to Saya, "I know he seems like a complete moron, but he just gets that from his old man!"

Saya let out a small laugh.

"Ichigo's a good kid though, and Yuzu will take care of them. Trust me," Isshin patted her shoulder. "Parent to parent."

"Thanks Dr. Kurosaki," Saya smiled softly, feeling a little better.

"Please! Call me Isshin!" he gave a hearty laugh. "Now, should we get started?"

~o0o0o0o0o~

Her first day hadn't gone to bad, considering how the morning had been. Dr. Kurosaki was really a sweet guy, something about him just made Saya feel happy even though he was absolutely ridiculous. She was grateful she had such a boss.

The job was basically secretary work. She filed stuff on the patients that came in, used the phone to schedule appointments and order new supplies.

"Bye Dr. Kurosaki," she waved to the man at his desk.

"See you tomorrow, bright and early Saya! Great work today!"

She smiled and went out the door that led back into the house so she could get Nel. During the day she had checked in on her a few times and surprisingly, Nel was behaving…mostly.

The only real trouble she had been causing was with Ichigo and that mostly involved biting him (again), jumping on his face, apparently gauging him in the eye, pushing him down the stairs (multiple times), and throwing a tantrum whenever he left her to go to the bathroom.

It could have been much worse.

Saya entered the living room and blinked at what she saw on the floor in front of the T.V.

Nel was NAPPING….

_How in the seven wonders of the world is this POSSIBLE?_ Saya was stunned. She had never gotten Nel to take a nap during the day. Ever. The kid got up at the crack of dawn and didn't go to sleep until she had tried to sneak out of her bed at least 4 times.

And she was napping with the Ginger.

Saya's brain was in turmoil.

Grimmjow had gotten Nel to take a nap once. ONCE. And that was only because he had put 'something' in her sippy-cup. Saya put carrots in all of his food for the next 3 months for that. Grimmjow was highly allergic to carrots. His face swelled up like a toad. It made Nel laugh like crazy.

_How the hell could that lazy ginger bum put her to sleep!?_

It didn't help that it was an absolutely adorable sight. Ichigo still had on his pajamas and was laying on his back with his arms sort of stretched out, a red mark still under his eye from where Nel had jabbed him earlier. Nel was snuggled up next to him with her chubby cheek resting on his chest. Bawa Bawa was cradled tight in her little hands.

Yuzu was curled up on the couch, also sleeping.

_They must have had one hell of a day I guess…_Saya smiled with sympathy.

"Cute, ain't they?"

Saya turned and saw a girl sitting at the kitchen table. She had jet black hair that was up in a pony tail, but her bangs hung loosely on the sides of her face.

"I found them like that when I got home," the girl said and took a bite of whatever it was she was eating. "I thought about kicking Ichigo but…I didn't want to wake that kid up."

"You must be Karin," Saya looked at the girl. She definitely took after her Father when it came to looks, but she lacked the I'm-on-happy-pills attitude. She wondered if the scowling was something inherited from their Mother, since both Karin and Ichigo had it.

"Yep," Karin swallowed her food and stood. She was wearing boy shorts and a t-shirt that had the sleeves cut off.

_A tomboy huh? _Saya thought with respect. _Probably one hell of a soccer player._

"So you're that Saya lady Rukia sent right?"

"Yep," Saya answered and started picking up Nel's toys and loading them into her bag.

"Huh.." Karin watched Saya with her hands on her hips. "Well next time you talk to her tell her she's not getting anything from us for Christmas this year since she forgot Ichigo's birthday."

Saya laughed. "She did? That doesn't sound like her."

"Well she didn't even send a card and she never calls anymore…" Karin crossed her arms. "She better not be turning into some rich old snob…" Karin muttered to herself. She missed Rukia. It wasn't fair that she had left. Yuzu was a wreck for a whole week when she learned Rukia wouldn't be living in Karakura anymore. And Karin new it bothered Ichigo and the guys more than they would admit that she was gone.

"When was his birthday?" Saya finished loading the bag.

"Last week."

"Then maybe there's something in the mail and it just hasn't gotten here yet," Saya thought. She hoped that the reason the birthday plans had been blown wasn't because Rukia had been too focused on the divorce case. That would just give Saya one more thing she had to blame herself for.

"Hmm," Karin thought to herself. "Maybe…" she sat back down, looking rather downcast.

"Just wait a few days and if nothing turns up I'll pass on your message," Saya suggested and walked over to her little one.

Karin watched the mother and daughter solemnly.

"C'mere you little Muppet," Saya gently scooped up the sleeping child, hoping not to wake her.

"Mama…?" Nel said hazily.

"Yeah munchkin?" Saya whispered.

"….Nel *yawn* misses Dadah…" the little girl snuggled closer into her mother's arms and started drifting back to sleep.

Saya held her silently for a moment and just softly patted her daughter's head.

_I hope he misses you too…_

"Tell them I said thanks Karin," Saya said to the sister and walked past the sleeping babysitters. "Nice to meet you."

Karin nodded with a dull smile at the mother holding her child.

As soon as they got to the car Nel was fully reenergized and eager to receive her promised ice cream cone.

To Be Continued…

…

**Sooo, Saya and Ichigo have not gotten off to a great start..HEHEHEHHEHE,! Will Saya ever stop with her man-hating-defense-mechanism?**

**Next Chapter: ****_Peace Offering_**


	8. Chapter 8: Peace Offering

**DISCLAIMER: All rights of original Bleach characters/story go to Tite Kubo (we love you!). …..**

~o0o0o0o0o~

The next day Ichigo was still sleeping in his room when he heard the little ankle-biter at the front door.

"_Nooo_," Ichigo moaned to himself. He was still sore from yesterday after having to deal with that 2 foot tall nightmare. He hoped he could hide in his room the whole day. He still felt awkward about what he had said to Saya.

He doubted she was gonna let that go.

"Ichigo," Karin knocked on his door and Ichigo jumped. He hoped to God that Nel wasn't with her.

"Yeah?" he held his breath at what havoc that child was going to give him today. He had no idea how Saya woke up every morning and fed that thing.

Karin opened the door and walked in, carrying a huge 2 foot by 2 foot box wrapped in Chappy the Rabbit wrapping paper with a bow on it.

"The hell..?" Ichigo sat up. _That kid isn't hiding in that is she?_ he thought with much fear.

"It's a late birthday present from Rukia," Karin set the box on his lap with a grunt.

"It's heavy," Ichigo looked at the box.

"No kidding!" Karin scoffed at him. "Well open it! I wanna see how she makes up for skipping your birthday party."

Ichigo smirked at Karin as he ripped into the paper. He knew she missed Rukia just as much as he did.

"Holy crap," Ichigo blinked as he saw what was in the box.

"What the hell is that?" Karin squinted at the present.

"It's a studio mixer! Sweet!" Ichigo already had a mixer in his garage that his band used…but it was ancient. This one was awesome, made within the last year, and NAME BRAND!

"So its one of those things that messes with the volume levels or whatever?" Karin looked at all the dials and settings on the machine.

Ichigo was completely amazed. Then he thought for a second. Something wasn't right. No way Rukia would spend this much money on him.

"It's a little different from what she'd normally get you, isn't it?" Karin raised an eyebrow at Ichigo.

"That's what I was just thinkin…"

The siblings stared at each other.

8 years ago Rukia had found an old picture of Ichigo as a 6 year old, dressed as the Black Power Ranger for Halloween. Ichigo had no idea why liking Power Rangers was such a crime (I mean who DIDN'T like Power Rangers when they were a kid?) but she loved making fun of him for it. Every birthday since, Rukia had gotten him nothing but Power-Ranger suits of different Power-Rangers as a joke.

He almost had the complete wardrobe and he looked good in every dam one of them.

"Oh well," Karin shrugged her shoulders. "Maybe she really did feel bad about missing your birthday."

"Yah maybe," Ichigo thought to himself and started opening the card. "Thank Karin," he said vaguely as she left. "Shut the door though will ya?"

"Yah yah," his sister rolled her eyes and closed the door.

Ichigo opened the card and read it. It was normal, no hand written stuff; Rukia usually let the cards she picked out do most of the talking. But there was still something missing.

"She didn't draw the rabbit…" Ichigo analyzed the card. Rukia always drew one of her stupid smiling bunnies whenever she signed his card. It was like her Kuchiki emblem of death. "But it looks like her signature…Weird…." Ichigo scratched his head.

In any case, he was stoked over the present. He'd have to get Renji over here so they could test it out ASAP.

After a few more hours of sleep, Ichigo headed down the stairs. This time making sure he was wearing decent clothes. As he walked past the Clinic's open door he saw her sitting at the desk.

Saya was on the phone with someone, taking down notes and smiling. As soon as she hung up her expression fell flat and she collapsed with boredom face first onto the desk.

He smirked to himself as he watched her. Then suddenly her head sprang up and she stood from her chair with a paranoid look in her eyes.

"_Candles_." Ichigo heard her say, and she started running towards the door. "I smell candles!" Saya flew past Ichigo into the living room.

Ichigo had no idea what was wrong with her. He sniffed the air, and sure enough, he could smell one of Yuzu's scented candles. But what did that have to do with anything.

"NELLIEL TAKE YOUR HAND OUT OF YOUR MOUTH RIGHT THIS INSTANT!"

Ichigo rushed into the living room and saw little Nel standing by the table where the candles were burning. One of her hands was covered in melted wax and the other hand was stuffed in her mouth.

"You can't eat candle wax Nel!" Saya grabbed her daughter's hand from her mouth.

"What's going on!?" Yuzu ran out of the kitchen at the sound of raised voices and Karin was right behind her.

"But it tastes good Mama!" Nel sobbed so awfully it sounded like she was gargling on her own tears and drool. "It smells so yummie!"

"Spit it out now!" Saya waited for Nel to puke up the candle wax she had eaten into a napkin and then started trying to wipe off the wax before it hardened on Nel's skin.

"This will make you sick! Nel…" Saya mumbled under her breath. "What did I tell you about eating things without permission?" _For just 5 minutes I don't want to have to worry about you killing yourself!_ It really wasn't good for her mental health.

She wondered if all mother's had the same problem.

"She was _eating_ that?" Karin asked Ichigo in a hushed voice. Ichigo nodded and they both looked at each other with a gross expression.

"I'm so sorry Mrs. Jeagerjaques!" Yuzu said with panic. "I- I had no idea she would eat that!"

"No, its," Saya was trying to calm herself. "It's not your fault."

"Should I get my Dad to come look at her?! What if she needs her stomach pumped?!" Yuzu launched into a mess of worry. Nel was still sobbing.

"No, she'll be okay," Saya finished wiping Nel's face and stood up. "I've seen her drink straight from a lava lamp and not even get a stomach ache….so she should be okay…"

Ichigo laughed ridiculously. "Is there anything that kid doesn't eat?" he joked to Karin.

Saya's eyes narrowed at Ichigo.

"I could sick her on you if I wanted to you know," she threatened with a hellish look in her eye.

Ichigo's face went blank as he saw her deadly glare, and Nel's sobs turned into a giggle. The 2-foot terror walked slowly towards him with her arms bent up like a baby Godzilla. She stomped one foot, then the other.

"RaaHWR!" she grinned wickedly at him, her bottom canines gleaming with slobber. Nel's eyes flickered back to her Mother. "Say attack Mama," she whispered loud enough for all to hear. " Say it. aaaTAAAACK!"

Saya raised an eyebrow at Ichigo, reveling in the power she commanded over her toddler.

Ichigo swallowed thickly. "Look, I was only kidding,"

"No you weren't," Karin snickered at her brother's fate and Ichigo shot her a look of betrayal.

_My own sister! _He thought with self-pity.

"Nel," Saya looked at her daughter.

Nel nodded vigorously, and scrapped her feet on the floor, preparing to charge.

"No more eating."

"WAAA?" Nel dropped her reptile pose and moped with disappointment.

"Unless Yuzu says so."

"Bu' MAAAAAAA—"

"I mean it." Saya raised her eyebrow again. Nel instantly closed her mouth.

"And you," she turned to Ichigo. "Make sure she doesn't eat anything."

"What? Why the hell do I—" Ichigo started.

"BECAUSE if you don't," Saya stared at him with wide eyes.

Ichigo dropped his gaze and grumbled to himself. He didn't need her to finish the sentence to know his life was at stake.

"Good," Saya stormed past him. "And don't swear in front of her."

"Ohh..uh," Yuzu began. "I-I'm so sorry again Mrs. Jeagerjaques! I swear I'll do better! I promise!"

"You're doing fine Yuzu," the mother called back. "Just _please….. _don't call me Mrs. Jeagerjaques."

Saya knew it was an honest habit that Yuzu called her that. She technically was still married to Grimmjow after all. But it really, really, really set her off. And if anyone besides that innocent teenage girl had called her that, she probably would have snapped.

"Yah!" Nel interjected. "Tha's Dadah's name! Not Mama's name! err..." the toddler started thinking to herself. "….so wha's Mama's name?"

"Okay! Um Miss Saya then," Yuzu tried to smile. She felt awful about everything that was going wrong this morning. She was a huge fan of Grimmjow's and she had been so excited to get to know Saya and Nel! But she felt like she was screwing it up.

"Thank you," Saya breathed with relief before walking back into the Clinic.

"Ohh," Yuzu fidgeted nervously. "This is terrible." She hoped Mrs. Jeag—Miss Saya wasn't mad at her.

"Don't worry about it Yuzu," Karin said to her sister. "If anything bad happens just blame it all on Ichigo."

"Hey!" Ichigo yelled. "Why is everyone out to get me today?!"

"Becaaahz Itsygo is in trouble!" Nel charged at him happily.

Quickly, Ichigo distracted the child before she could get her slobbery hands on him.

"Hey Nel look!" He grabbed her stuffed dinosaur and threw it in the opposite direction. "Fetch!"

"_WOW!"_ Nel followed after the toy. "_Bawa Bawa can fly!"_

"Jesus," Ichigo ruffled his hair. That kid was going to give him anxiety.

"Ichigo!" Yuzu frowned at him. "Can't you try to be more nice?"

"Why should I be nice when she's pawning her kid off on me!?"

"You had fun yesterday! And you should be grateful that Miss Saya's here helping Dad," Yuzu pouted at him. "She even brought you Rukia's present this morning and you didn't even say thank you."

"She brought it?" Ichigo's brow furrowed. "Why?"

"She said Rukia sent it with her when she moved here," Karin filled in, "she thought it'd be quicker than shipping it from Tokyo, but then Saya forgot about it until she heard me mention your birthday yesterday."

Ichigo frowned suspiciously.

"Fine," he ruffled his hair again. "Guess I have to go talk to her then." He trudged over to the Clinic.

Saya was filling in some insurance payments of a patient when he came through the doorway.

"What is it?" Saya immediately asked. "What'd she do now?"

Ichigo saw the strict worry in her face.

"No ahh… Nel's fine." He scratched his head.

"…Oh," she looked at him for a second before going back to her work. "Then what is it? You're Dad's with a patient right now so…"

"I was just gonna say thanks for the present," Ichigo watched her.

"What are you thanking me for? I didn't buy it for you," Saya continued filling out the forms. "It was from Rukia."

"Yah, that's what Karin said," he fiddled with some paper clips that were on the desk. "The thing is, Rukia doesn't get me stuff like that." Ichigo thought it was a long shot, but still. Rukia NEVER got him stuff like that, you know: stuff he actually WANTED. It was just sort of fishy that the day after Saya found out he was in a band, and just had his birthday, this present shows up.

"Well maybe this year she wanted to surprise you," Saya looked him straight in the eye, showing no signs of lying. But she stared longer at his brown eyes than she probably should have.

She wasn't lying. She hadn't bought it for Ichigo. She'd bought it for Grimmjow, quite a while ago. He had been talking about buying that stupid studio mixer for a month. So she decided to use the money she had saved up for a replica of Glamdring the Foe-Hammer (Gandalf's sword from LOTR) and buy the mixer for his birthday instead (which was actually in a few days). But then the divorce had happened.

When she had called Rukia yesterday, it was confirmed that she had in fact forgotten Ichigo's birthday. The legal issues that accompanied the lawsuit against Grimmjow were tremendous. So Saya had told Rukia she'd take care of it.

The gift had cost a lot of money and Saya figured it would do more good in the possession of someone who would use it than sitting under her bed at her apartment.

It was also one small way she could make up for Ichigo taking care of Nel, since she did feel a little guilty over that. She also didn't know how to say she was sorry for lashing out at him the other day…

Ichigo studied her closely. He couldn't tell if she was lying or not. It didn't really make sense for Saya to have gotten a present for him, but a part of him liked the idea of her taking the time to get him something special.

"Yeah well," Ichigo walked to the Clinic door, "thanks for bringing it by."

"Ichigo."

He stopped and looked back at her, his lungs catching ever so slightly at her using his name.

"…That mixer was probably pretty expensive so…" she looked at him. "Keep it some place childproof."

Ichigo couldn't help but smirk at her.

"How'd you know it was a mixer?" he cocked his head, his spikey bangs falling into his eyes.

Saya's jaw stiffened. She had to think.

"Rukia told me." Saya casually went back to writing.

Ichigo laughed as he stood in the doorway. He just couldn't stop smiling.

"Well next time Rukia forgets my birthday, remind her to draw Chappy the Rabbit when she signs the card."

She didn't look at him, she just kept writing and Ichigo couldn't help but feel a sense satisfaction as he walked away.

Saya face-palmed herself as soon as the smirking ginger had left.

_That dam rabbit! Dammit Rukia!_ She couldn't believe she had slipped up like that! Now he knew Rukia hadn't gotten him the gift.

_Dammit dam dammit…_Saya massaged her forehead. That would be the last nice thing she did for that stupid smirking ginger.

And Rukia.

To be continued…

…

**Thanks for reading!**

**Coming up, Saya decides to call Grimmjow on his birthday ;)**

**Next Chapter: ****_Happy Smurf-day_**


	9. Chapter 9: Happy Smurf-Day

**DISCLAIMER: All rights of original Bleach characters/story go to Tite Kubo …..**

~o0o0o0o0o0o~

Saya had been at the Kurosaki Clinic for a week so far and the job was turning out to be pretty good. They never had too many patients, so Saya usually flew through the paper work. Every once in a while Dr. Kurosaki would ask her to help with the patients and he'd teach her how to assist him in procedures that needed to be done, which was pretty cool. She liked learning that kind of stuff. It made her feel more confident as Nel's sole caretaker, since the little rascal was always putting herself in life-threatening situations.

She was relieved to know that Nel was getting along with Yuzu. The three of them ate lunch together everyday and she would give Yuzu pointers on tricks to get Nel to behave, or spit out whatever she was chewing.

The only downside was that scowling ginger. Saya would always see him around the house, but they never really talked unless it had to do with getting Nel out of his room, or getting Nel to let go of his ankle. Nel tended to follow him wherever he went which sort of bothered Saya, but she didn't know why.

It was odd how Nel was so attached to him. She'd never even been that attached to Grimmjow, her own father, so what made Ichigo so special?

And maybe Saya was just a _little _jealous. Nel was _her _baby. It had always made Saya feel special that Nel only listened to her. But that was starting to change now that the ginger had come into the picture.

It was the weekend now. July 31st to be exact, a date she'd rather not think about, for it pertained to the certain birthday of a certain blue-haired someone.

She and Nel had been spending the morning sorting through the last of Nel's toys to determine what the toddler could keep in the apartment and what she was willing to part with (a.k.a: what she wouldn't notice had been donated to charity).

Saya was taking a break and making some cookies while Nel watched T.V. The living room and the kitchen were pretty much connected, so Saya could easily make sure Nel wasn't getting into trouble or that she didn't change the channel to something bad.

"Mama…" Nel said in a hypnotized voice.

"Yeah?" Saya looked over at her child.

"Can Nel have that?" she was pointing at the T.V. screen. It was another commercial for one of those children's "Power-Wheel Dune Racers" from Toy's R US.

Saya paused in alarm as she saw what her daughter was asking. Nel behind the wheel of any motorized vehicle, no matter how small, was a completely catastrophic idea.

"No." Saya blurted. "Sorry Nel but that's for big kids…"she lied and checked on the cookie sheet in the oven.

"Awwwh," Nel pouted and turned her attention to the T.V. again. "Bu' it's soo cool!"

"Maybe we could get a bike firs—"

"DADDY!" Nel cried and jumped on the couch. "Look MAh! It's Dadah!"

Saya's head whipped in her daughter's direction. There was a preview for tonight's top news story, a report on Grimmjow and his latest single. Apparently he had just had a big concert, and he'd been receiving a lot of attention over the divorce.

"YAH DADA!" Nel pumped her chubby fists in the air as footage of Grimmjow rocking out on stage flashed across the screen.

_"…the star's latest concert featured a new song, no doubt a product of the recent break-up between Jeagerjaques and his wife, Saya Kurashina."_

"MAMA YOU'RE ON T.V. TOO!" A picture of Saya yelling at Grimmjow during his concert where she had first told him she wanted a divorce filled the screen. A red line slashed down the middle in between the two of them.

_Oh god they have a picture of that?_ Saya watched.

"Hehehehe! "Nel pointed with glee. "You look mad!"

_"…Tune in tonight for the full story and the latest look at the unbalanced, emotional state of Grimmjow Jeagerjaques and his divorce..." _The footage cut to a clip of a reporter trying to question Grimmjow as he left one of his concerts.

_"Take that mic a shove it up your [censored] you [censored]!" _he snarled at the reporter while flipping up his collar and walking away. _" [censored] you man!"_

"F*** you Man!" Nel repeated to the T.V. screen.

"NELLIEL!" Saya looked at her daughter with appall. "Don't you ever use that word again! Ever!" Saya ran over and shut the T.V. off. She'd rather not risk seeing another commercial with Grimmjow.

Nel looked at her Mother with a sad, ashamed look on her face.

"Nel's sowrry Mama…"

Saya sighed and kneeled down to Nel's level.

"I know. Sorry I yelled," she brushed a sea-foam green curl out of Nel's eyes. "But that's a really bad word and you shouldn't be saying that. Neither should your Dad." Saya rolled her eyes. As if Grimmjow could compete a whole sentence without using the 'F' word. It's no wonder Nel knew exactly what Grimmjow had been saying even though the station had bleeped it out.

"Mamma.." Nel nodded and picked at the necklace Saya was wearing. "…Is Dadah mad?"

Saya titled her head a little. Of course Grimmjow was mad, but she still didn't know how to explain the whole thing to Nel.

"Is that why Dadah doesn't visit Nel like he used to?"

Saya's eyes widened. "He's not mad at you Nel," she had to clarify. She couldn't let Nel go on thinking it was her fault that her Dad hadn't come to see her. "…I'm mad at him…" Saya hung her head. "So that's why he can't come see you."

"Bu' why?" Nel gave her Mom a confused face.

"Because," was all Saya managed to say. She figured it wasn't a good idea to actually say: Because he's a good-for-nothing-dead-beat JACKASS father who treats his ugliest pair of shoes better than his one and only daughter.

"But WHY?" Nel's face got more frustrated.

Saya exhaled and shut her eyes. "Because."

"But Nel wants to see him!" she pouted angrily to her Mother. "Jus becawz YOU don't wanna talk to Dadah doesn't mean NEL doesn't wanna talk to him!" the little girl shouted and ran off to the bedroom.

"Nel!" Saya pleaded after her. She scowled and rubbed her forehead as she sat alone on the floor in front of the couch.

Saya _didn't_ want talk to Grimmjow. More importantly she didn't want Nel talking to Grimmjow and Grimmjow saying something careless that might hurt Nel's feelings.

She knew Nel missed him, but she didn't think Grimmjow deserved to talk to Nel since he still hadn't apologized for that awful _Ugly Baby _song.

Saya was also scared of talking to him. Not because she was scared _of _him, she just wasn't sure if she had gotten over him yet. And if she still had a soft spot for him, she knew he'd find a way to work himself back into her head and make her lose her resolve to divorce him.

_But it's his birthday today…._

That had been nagging at Saya all day. Normally Grimmjow would've made Saya throw a party and it'd be a really big deal but…

Saya chewed on her lip. _I could at least let Nel say happy birthday…_

That seemed fair. Nel would also get to talk to Grimmjow, and hopefully be reassured that he hadn't completely fallen off the face of the planet without even saying good-bye. Sometimes she really hated herself for not letting him say good-bye.

Saya hit Grimmjow's name on her contact list. She had to see if he was even in a decent state of mind first. No way she was going to just hand him off to Nel before she even knew if he was sober or not.

The phone was ringing.

Saya bit her nail as she waited. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't a little nervous calling him after their last conversation, the one that had started and ended with her telling him to go to hell.

It rang all the way through to voicemail.

Saya hung up. Of course he wouldn't pick up the phone after how she'd been treating him. Or maybe he was just in the middle of a crack deal. "He's such a baby," she mumbled. Really she was just mad at herself for ruining things for Nel.

_*Buzz Buzz*_

She looked down at her phone and bit her lip again before she answered.

"….Hi," she said.

"_What?"_ Grimmjow spoke roughly. "_Got something else you wanna sue me for?"_

"Not at the moment," Saya clenched her jaw.

"_Then what the f*ck do ya want?"_

Saya mentally corrected Grimmjow for his foul language and tried not to go on a rant about why he hadn't signed the divorce papers yet.

"I wanted to know if you wanted to talk to Nel, so she could say happy birthday."

"_Tch,"_ he scoffed on the other end. "_You're not even gonna say it?"_

"Do you want to talk to your daughter or not?" Saya snapped at him.

"_Why the f*cking don't you bring her home and so that I CAN talk to her?_" Grimmjow retorted smartly.

"No," Saya answered bluntly.

"_FINE! Then I don't want ta f*Ckin talk to her!_"

"Fine then," Saya contained her volume so Nel wouldn't hear her rise in temper. "Happy god dam birthday _jackass_." She hung up.

_Why couldn't he just shut up and say he wanted to talk to Nel? You'd think he'd miss her, just a LITTLE bit, but nooooo. Doesn't matter. He's too pissed at me to even worry about her. Jackass. JACKASS! STUPID SMURF-HAIRED SON-OF-A-SEXY-BITCH JACKASS!_

_*Buzz Buzz*_

"Oh god what," she grabbed her phone again. "Yeah?" she answered coldly.

"_You mean that?_" he asked brusquely.

"Mean what?" Saya tried to smooth out the crease between her eyebrows.

"_You said happy birthday_."

Saya delayed her answer. The guilt was setting in.

"_How the hell can I have a happy birthday when you're not f*ckin here?_" the usual nerve was back in his voice.

"Grimmjow…" she started.

"_You're f*ckin pissing me off you know that?_"

"Yeah," she scoffed, "I figured."

"_You know how much shit people have been giving me cuz'a you?"_

"I can imagine," Saya mumbled. She was getting ready to hang up.

"_Did you even see that f*cking song I played for you at my concert?_" Grimmjow's voice hung.

"Considering what I heard you sing at the last concert I went to, I doubt I'd want to hear it," she told him, referring to the song about Nel. "So, no."

"_It's not even like that Saya._" She could hear him getting impatient. "_I wrote it as a god dam apology._"

"Really? So there are words that say: I am sorry for calling my baby ugly in front of a nation wide audience? AND being a complete jackass to her since she was born?"

"…_Just f*cking look it up on youtube._"

"Or you could sing it," she scooted back so she could sit leaning against the couch. "Go on, sing me your apology. I'm _dying _to hear it."

"_F*ck you, I don't have to sing it. It's my god dam birthday_," he said rather offensively.

"Okay then," Saya shrugged. "Bye."

"_Hey,_" he stopped her.

"What?"

"_You coming over or not?_" His voice took on a deeper note. "_You know you're the only one who can give me that extra something special for my birthday. And I've been f*Cking looking forward to it since you left._"

A million and twelve different way for Saya to yell at Grimmjow boiled over in her head. What the hell was wrong with him? Did he really expect a romantic evening when they were in the middle of a divorce?

Saya bit her tongue and then smirked to herself. She'd mess with him; the jackass deserved it.

"That 'something special' huh?" Saya repeated to him.

"_You know what I'm talkin about_," his voice was heavy and smug on the other end.

"Yeah," Saya tried not to let her smile show through her voice. "I was actually planning that for a while you know…figured you really wanted that…But uh, I kinda gave it away to somebody else recently…"

It was silent on the other end.

"Someone who deserved it more than you did." Saya had to cover part of her phone to block a stifled snort from reaching Grimmjow.

"_What the f*ck are you talking about?_" Pure rage seeped through Grimmjow's words.

"I'm saying I gave your present away to someone who'd actually appreciate it," Saya barely elaborated. She didn't think she needed to go into detail about the studio mixer she had given Ichigo. She'd rather let Grimmjow jump to conclusions.

"_Saya,_" his voice cut out. Saya pictured him ripping a hand through his hair. "_I can't—GOD F*CKING DAMMIT—_"

Saya heard a crashing sound. _I wonder if that was a T.V. or another guitar?_

"_I can't even f*cking talk to you right now!_" he blared into the phone.

"It's really not that big of a deal," Saya said in an overly relaxed voice. "I mean I probably would've given it to anybody who asked for it …"

"_ARE YOU SERIOUS?_" Grimmjow's voice was strained with madness.

"…Yeah. There was no point in saving it for your birthday so…"

"_JESUS F*CKING CHRIST SAYA!_"

"Grimmjow," Saya tried not to laugh. "You are overreacting."

"_THE HELL I AM! WE AREN'T EVEN DIVORCED YET AND YOU'RE F*CKIN—_" There was another crash. "_Saya you can't f*cking do this to me!"_

"Grimmjow—"

"_I'm gonna f*Cking kill the next guy I see you with, and every guy after that—_"

"Grimmjow!" Saya stopped laughing. He was definitely taking this harder than she'd thought.

"—_You are f*cking mine Saya! I don't believe this shit!_"

"I am not," Saya couldn't stop herself from saying. "And you're seriously jumping to conclusions here! All I gave him was a gift! You now, in a box?" The prank was funny when she had first thought of it, but she figured it wouldn't be wise to let him go on thinking what he was thinking.

It was silent on the other end again.

"You really think I'd…" Saya was distracted for a second when a burning smell came across her nose. Her mother instincts kicked in and she was on red alert. "OH SH*T THE CoAh-Cwa-COOKIES!" Saya coughed as the smoke detector went off. She stumbled to her feet and saw the kitchen was filled with smoke.

"MAMA!?" Nel cried from her bedroom.

"DON'T WORRY NEL! I GOT IT!" Saya waved the smoke out of her path and reached up to hit the button to turn off the ringing smoke detector. "S-cwah-cah-Sorry Grimmjow. Gottah Go," she hung up the phone and rushed over to take the pan out of the oven.

"Mah!?" Saya heard Nel's voice from the hallway.

"Stay in your room till I open the windows Nel!"

"Wah Happened?!"

"I burnt the cookies!" Saya opened the screen door to the small balcony and put the tray of charcoaled cookies outside.

"YOU BURNT THEM?! MAAAA!" Nel whined from her room. "YOU NEVER BURN THEM!"

"I'm sorry!" Saya opened the windows and tried fanning out the smoke. "I wasn't paying attention…" she mumbled to herself.

She hoped Grimmjow had realized she'd been joking.

"The next pan will be perfect Nel! I promise!"

….…

Grimmjow sat in a crouched position in the middle of his living room with his crushed cellphone in hand and stared at the shattered bay window he had just kicked a table through.

What the f*ck was he supposed to think?

Right before Saya had hung up she'd sounded like she was about to go back on what she had been suggesting about sleeping with some prick.

But that didn't stop Grimmjow from suspecting. He had never thought about it until now. The idea of her being with someone else had never even crossed his mind cuz there was no way they were really getting divorced. It was impossible. Saya was married to him.

_She wouldn't do something like that. _

It was completely against her personality. Hell, he had dated her for 2 years before he'd gotten to a point where he could get in her pants. And if she had been in her proper state-of-mind she probably still would've said no. But now that the notion had been planted in his head, it festered like a sickness.

He had never expected that Saya being with someone else would damage him so deep. The way Nnoitora always joked about it was nothing compared to this, to the moment where he had actually thought it was true.

He couldn't stand it. Even if she had been joking…there was no way he was gonna let her go now. He had to get her back.

"That f*cking woman," he stood and chucked his broken cell out the window. Someone's car alarm went off. He ruffled his hair.

He probably would kill the next guy he saw her with.

Grimmjow grabbed his car keys, a second cellphone, and trekked out to his car. "Gin," Grimmjow called his bassist on his phone. "Meet me at Las Noches man."

It was his f*cking birthday and he wasn't going to spend it sober.

To Be Continued…

…

**Sooo there's a fan that's a TAD crazy about Ichigo and his band. It gets brought to Saya's attention, but will she straighten out the stalker? Or just use it to her advantage to make the Strawberry's life more miserable?**

**Thank all of you for reading and thank you CrazyforGrimmjow for your reviews and your support! Sorry for keeping you waiting on the update.**

**Next Chapter: ****_Cupcake_**


	10. Chapter 10: Cupcake

**DISCLAIMER: All rights of original Bleach characters/story go to Tite Kubo …..**

"So…" Ichigo blinked at his younger sister. "You lost the kid?"

"No! I didn't lose her! I…I just can't find her," Yuzu frantically explained. "I looked everywhere Ichigo, but she's too good at hiding! Oh…how will I ever explain this to Miss Saya? What if Nel's hurt some where!? Or she fell out a window?!"

"Just go ask Saya to help you find her," Ichigo scratched his head, furrowing his brow. He didn't see what the big deal was; Nel was probably staying out of sight on purpose just to worry them. In fact…

_She's probably watching us right NOW…_ O_O

"I can't do that!" Yuzu squeaked. "I have to break this to Miss Saya gently. Ohhh, I don't want her thinking I can't take care of Nel. Ichi-nii will you come with me? I'd feel better if you were there."

"Awh, grow up Yuzu. You gotta start taking care of these thing on your own," Ichigo grumbled to his sister.

"But Ichiiii-niiii….."she looked at him with her broken-hearted-sobby-face.

Ichigo twitched.

…..

"So…you see Miss Saya…" the highschooler began for the twelfth time.

Saya sat at her desk in the Clinic, waiting for Yuzu to spit it out. She wondered what could possibly be so nerve-wrecking that could give the girl so much trouble to say.

_Oh god…she's not here to ask me about boy advice is she? I'm the last person anyone should go to for that kind of thing._ _I'm a mother of a 5-year old, I shouldn't have to do this talk yet!_

Then the ginger appeared.

"She lost your kid," he said casually as he crossed his arms and leaned in the doorway.

Yuzu nearly burst into tears. "I'm so sorry Miss Saya! We were just playing hide-and-seek and I *sobsobsob* I j-just can't find her!"

"Hide-and-seek?" Saya repeated. "And you looked in all the typical places a normal kid would hide?"

Yuzu nodded helplessly as she sniffled. "It was supposed to be f-fun!"

Saya didn't let her nerves get to her. Nel wasn't a normal kid; hence she never hid in normal places. Saya quickly went over the list in her head from this morning of what she'd told Nel was off limits.

_Washer, dryer, fridge, freezer, garbage, rooftops, in sinks, under sinks, toilet tank, trunks, inside couch cushions, gutters, ventilation, attics…all off limits…._

She had to think for a minute of if there was anything she had forgotten to tell Nel.

"Oh," Saya realized. "Right—OVEN IS OFF LIMITS TOO NEL!" she called from the office.

"Bu' MAAAAA!?" a muffled voice cried from the kitchen.

"YOU HEARD ME!" Saya added and then patted Yuzu's shoulder. "See? Safe and sound." _Thank God._

Yuzu wiped her nose.

"I'm so sorry Miss Saya. I didn't mean to worry you."

"Nonsense!" Saya went back to filing. "I'm glad you asked, don't ever be afraid to ask me if you need help with her. You're really doing a much better job than any other sitter we've ever had."

"R-really?" Yuzu smiled shyly.

"Definitely. Nothing's caught on fire yet right?"

Yuzu looked confused. "…Do things usually catch on fire?"

"Uhh….Just keep a close eye on her like you have been, and maybe wait till you get to know her better before you play hide-and-seek again." Saya smiled. "You're doing great."

"Right!" Yuzu chimed with new confidence and left to get back to Nel. Saya watched her go with a smile, and then noticed the ginger was still standing there, wearing a determined frown.

She decided to ignore him and went back to her paperwork.

*Stare*

She tried ignoring the staring.

*Stare*

She started filling out a third patients file.

*Stare*

Her pencil snapped.

_…gosh ….frEEEckin dammit. _She straightened herself in her chair and crossed her arms as well, staring back at him.

"…Is there something you need?" she finally said, trying to be civil.

Ichigo scoffed and left the room for an instant, then came back in, marched over and dropped a pair of what should have been brand new Nike's on her desk.

Saya stared at the shoes. They were smothered in slobber and riddled with teeth marks.

"Mind explaining that?" Ichigo gestured madly at his ruined trainers.

There was a long silence.

And an even longer silence.

"….It would appear you've stepped in something." she presented her verdict coolly.

"Bull Crap!" Ichigo snapped. "You know dam well it was your little brat-faced spawn from hell!"

"PROVE IT!" Saya countered and stood from her chair, leaning forward with her hands planted on the desk.

This was how things had been going for Ichigo since his Dad had taken on the mother-daughter package. Nel had been ruining anything and everything he owned, and was essentially driving him crazy.

'_Itsygo! Nel wants ta play Zombie!' _Which resulted in Ichigo getting bitten.

_'Itsygo! Nel can't get your computer to go!' _Which was because he had a passcode on his laptop, which resulted in Nel bashing the crap out of his keyboard.

_'Itsygo! Nel redecorated your ugly room!' _Which resulted in finger paint and cheese whiz everywhere.

And everyone made excuses for that tiny cretin. Not even Yuzu or his Dad would admit how insane the little weasel was.

'_She didn't mean too Ichigo!'_

_'She just likes you Ichigo!"_

_'Well maybe if you would've just let her cut your hair in the first place…'_

Saya was the worst. No matter how obvious the fault, she'd always find some way to twist Ichigo's words around and defend everything Nel did. She'd give her last breath arguing that Nel was a perfect little angel, innocent of all wrongdoings. Surprisingly though, as soon as she'd finish telling Ichigo off, she would discipline Nel.

Saya was probably the only person who ever actually punished Nel. Yuzu sure didn't. It was like Saya could call Nel out when she was doing something bad, but if anyone else tried, they were dead meat.

In a way Ichigo thought that was kinda nice, Saya defending her kid like that. It reminded him of why he had developed a crush on her in the first place. Back in junior high was when he had first noticed her. She'd always go all out for her friends no matter what. He thought that kind of devotion was really priceless. It meant Nel had at least one parent who'd stuck up for her.

"_Prove it?_!" Ichigo gave her an incredulous look. "Over the past week and a half since you started here, four pairs of my shoes have gone missing! FOUR! And whenever they turn up, it looks like someone puked on them! I'd say that's proof enough!"

"You can't just accuse my daughter for puking on your shoes just because the timing is perfect!"

"Well maybe I wouldn't IF I KNEW SOMEONE ELSE IN THIS HOUSE WHO SPITS UP MORE DROOL THAN A BULLDOG WITH RABIES!"

"WHAT'S A GUY NEED 4 PAIRS OF SHOES FOR ANYWAY?! YOU HAVE A FETISH OR SOMETHING?!"

"There's nothing wrong with a man having more than one pair of shoes!"

"Oh, I think there is," Saya nodded judgmentally at him.

Ichigo's brow furrowed. What the heck was her problem?

"Haven't I seen you shopping at Victoria's Secret?" Saya crossed her arms with a critical expression.

Ichigo blanked. Mostly because of what she was getting at, but also because Saya had just said Victoria's Secret.

"NO," Ichigo defended his honor.

"And what's with those purple skinny jeans I've seen you wear?"

"What!? There just—"

"You know," Saya sat back in her chair, "your shoulder's are kind small for a guy, Strawberry," she crossed her arms. In all honesty, Saya had nothing against the size of Ichigo's shoulders. No objections at all *drool*cough-but now wasn't the time for that. From all her experience with Grimmjow, she knew chipping away at a guy's manhood was the quickest way to win an argument. Didn't matter what the subject was, it worked without fail.

"THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THIS!"

"You don't have a girlfriend do you? Why is that?"

Ichigo's face felt scorching. "T-That's none of your business!"

"Is that a tone of denial I hear in your voice, Strawberry?" Saya folded her hands neatly under her chin.

"_Don't call me Strawberry,_" Ichigo threatened through gritted teeth.

"You're a closet pervert, aren't you?"

"WHAT?! I AM NOT!" Ichigo was getting redder and redder out of anger and embarrassment.

"You denied it and therefore are guilty!" Saya pointed at him. "Denial!"

"What!? You can't just make an accusation like that based on—"

"EXACTLY! So you can't accuse my daughter!" Saya closed the dispute and shuffled her paperwork as a silent aura of malice fueled the air.

Ichigo stood twitching insanely, forcing his brain to come up with something smart to throw back at this woman who vexed him so deeply. Before he had any breakthroughs, the office phone rang.

"Kurosaki Clinic, how may I help you?" Saya answered automatically.

Ichigo watched her face sag with a mixture of confusion and irritation. Whoever was on the phone must've been a real real dumbass.

"Ma'am—" Saya was trying to interrupt. "I…I understand that there's a reason why you called here. But I need you to tell me what it is so I can help…"

Then Saya's eyebrows rose as she listened to the caller. "Ichigo Kurosaki?" her eyes flickered to the ginger with a growing smirk.

Ichigo's brow furrowed. Who the heck would be calling him on his Dad's office phone?

"He's not picking up his cell?..._Or _the house phone? Hmmm…Uh-huh…"

Ichigo stared. Who would try so hard to reach him? And why the hell was Saya grinning at him like a freaking troll? It was almost as bad as Rukia.

It dawned on him.

The reason he had shut his phone off in the first place and hadn't touched it for the past 2 hours.

"_I'm not here!" _Ichigo mimed desperately to Saya.

"Uh-huh," Saya continued grinning. "…I can go check for you…what was your name again?"

"_No!" _Ichigo begged in a hasty whisper, flailing his arms feverishly in all attempt to get Saya to get rid of his stalker. "_Tell her I'm not here!"_

"Orihime Inoue?" Saya smiled and nodded, not taking any of Ichigo's hints. "Alright then, I'll put you on hold. It should only take a second, thank yo—"

"_Hang it up!"_ Ichigo tried to snag the phone out of Saya's hands and grabbed her other wrist so she couldn't put Orihime on hold.

"_Let GO." _Saya was struggling to silently get the phone away from Ichigo.

"_YOU let go! And hang it up!"_

_"NO."_

_"SHHHH! She'll hear you!"_

_"Give me the phone!"_

_"SHHHH!"_

_"Don't tell me to—"_

_"SHHHHHH!"_

_"SHHH!—"_

_"—ahhOW— My eyE!"_

Saya's elbow was in Ichigo's face and Ichigo's shoulder was lodged in her stomach. She tried lifting her arms higher in order to slip out of the ginger's grasp, but gravity was on Ichigo's side.

"_Dammit Strawberry..get off…my desk!"_

Her resistance wasn't bad, but Ichigo was closing in on bringing down the phone.

"_Just… hang up the phone…and I will!" _Ichigo was slipping further over the desk and Saya was sliding farther down his back as he reached past her.

"_HA. You're about to.. land… in your… shoes, Strawberry."_

Ichigo looked down at the desk and realized he was inches from becoming a slobbery disaster.

"Ahh SICK!"

Saya twisted and put her full weight on his back, trying to pin him down on his shoes.

"gAAH!" Ichigo had to pull back from the desk, but that only caused Saya to come down on him harder, and he was feeling the full extent of her chest on his back. He hoped to God she couldn't see his face. He knew he was turning beet red. But for the sake of his own protection, he wasn't about to let go.

Saya leaned forward harder, trying to drive Ichigo's face smack into the goopy shoes. She wanted that phone. If the girl on the line really drove Ichigo this crazy, she wasn't going to waste the opportunity to humiliate him. Ever since the incident with the birthday present she'd been hoping to find something she could hold against him.

She didn't know why. She just really didn't like him holding that over her head. She didn't want him thinking she was…nice or something. She couldn't explain it.

"Just..give up the phone..Strawberry," she said with effort.

Ichigo scowled to himself. _I told her to stop calling me that!_

"You… want the phone?" Ichigo panted as Saya's one arm was pressing him forward and the other was pulling on the phone. "You… got it…._Cupcake."_

Ichigo released his grip and let Saya's own momentum send her flying off of him. She stumbled backwards with the phone clutched in her hand, but the length of the phone's cord was too short and completely ripped out of the plugin, terminating the call.

Saya caught herself on the wall and glared at Ichigo.

"You MORON!" she steadied her breath and strode forward toward him. "You disconnected the whole frickin—wait," her mind processed the entirety of what had just transpired. "What did you just call me?" She was absolutely offended. How was it that every nickname given to her from a guy had something to do with baked goods?

"Cupcake." Ichigo said loud and proud, marching right up to her. "And every time you call me Strawberry, I'm gonna call you Cupcake, Cupcake. How do YOU like it eh? CUPCAKE!"

"Seriously? Cupcake? What is that like guy code for calling me Fat?" Saya thundered hurtfully.

"What?" Ichigo suddenly dropped his guard. "No. No! I wasn't—"

"Really? Because that's what it sounds li—"

"I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT! I just don't want to talk to her! I freak out whenever she calls!"

Saya blinked at him with exasperation. "Why?!" she asked frankly.

"Because she's a crazy person!" Ichigo threw out his hands dramatically. "She's a creepy, psycho, CRAZY PERSON! I've told her to stop calling me! I've told her not to come around the house anymore, but she doesn't listen! It's great that she likes our band and everything. I appreciate the support. But Jesus! There is a line between FANS and CREEPY FANS and she just doesn't get that!"

"So…she's like a.. groupie?" she raised one of her eyebrows with disgust.

"YES!" Ichigo pointed to Saya in agreement. "And she won't go away!" [A/N: sorry for those of you who are Orihime fans. I actually ship IchiXhime but…I'm making her a creep in this story.]

Saya thought back to the times she would go to Grimmjow's concerts and see all the groupies walking around backstage, giggling and crowding around the band members. She knew how persistent they could be. Luckily she never had to worry about that with Grimmjow, he'd sworn nothing had ever happened between him and his fans. If he had been fooling around with anyone, Nnoritora would have told her right away. That guy was always looking for an excuse to get her mad at Grimmjow. And Grimmjow cheating would've triggered nothing less than Saya kicking the crap out of and saying bye-bye to Jackass Smurf.

"I mean look at this!" Ichigo took his phone out of his back pocket and turned it back on. "Look…" he waited for the device to reboot and Saya came closer to get a better view. "27 text messages! And 9 missed calls! All from h—oh..wait.." he looked at his phone for a second. "One's from Karin…"

Ichigo took a moment to open it up. He didn't know why she'd be texting him when she was probably in the other room.

_Karin:_

_Just saw you and Saya all over each other in Dad's office. _

_Gross._

Ichigo quickly covered his phone and put it away, hoping Saya hadn't been able to peer around his should well enough to read Karin's INACURATE observation of their fight over the telephone.

"Anyway…" he scratched his head. "…she's really weird."

"But how does she have your number?" Saya wondered, trying to understand what level of creepy this girl was at.

"Oh…its…uugh," Ichigo ruffled his hair. "…Rukia set me up on a date with her once…that's when I first met her. But I guess she was in my class back in high school too."

"And how did that night turn out?" she asked with slight amusement.

"You don't want to know," Ichigo stared at her seriously.

"Yeah I do," Saya smirked a little. "It sounds like one of the greatest love stories of all time. Right up there with _The Cable Guy_ or..that other creepy stalker movie…_Fatal Attraction?_"

Ichigo scoffed at how she was laughing at him.

"Alright look," he thought over the horrid memory, "Let's just say it started with her telling me she had already named our non-existent children—"

"Ohooohh my gawd!" Saya burst out laughing. "I'm sorry…."

"Nah, it gets worse," Ichigo had to talk over her. "The whole time we were eating she kept…leaning over and trying to like…take a bite off my chopsticks."

"Ew…"

"—And then when I tried ducking out to call Rukia, I practically have to run into the men's room because she's starts following me in there—like it's no big deal!"

Saya stared at him.

"She…followed you. Into the men's room?" she blinked.

"She tried getting under the stall."

O—O "_What?"_ Saya was officially grossed out.

"Yeah. And when I asked her what the hell she was doing, she started rambling about how I'd some how sent her a "_signal_" to hook up in the bathroom err something!" Ichigo had still not gotten over that. He probably never would. He had been so shocked to find out that a girl who seemed so shy could turn out to be so ….he didn't even know how to describe what she was. Whore-ish.

"Wow…" Saya said with astonishment. "...Well thank god you weren't in a urinal…" she started snickering again.

"That's not funny," Ichigo said with a wide-eyed look and pointed at her.

"I don't know," Saya laughed to herself. "It kind of sounds to me like she's the one. I mean someone who's that persistent… definitely a keeper." She bit back another smirk.

"Shut up," Ichigo rolled his eyes.

"Really though, you should call her! You know, have dinner, have babies," Saya snorted and shook her head as she laughed.

"Stop it! It's not even funny! It was terrifying," Ichigo scowled, but couldn't help smirking. It was the first time he'd seen her laugh.

Saya cracked up harder. "It's horrifying!" she agreed. "I mean baby names? REALLY? She told you baby names?! God…." Saya shook her head. "It is a miracle that you escaped."

"It get weirder," Ichigo was reluctant to ever bring it up, but now that he was on the subject he just felt like telling someone.

"Oh there's more?" Saya prepared herself.

Ichigo took a breath before launching in to the story. "…She…snuck into my room one time when I was sleeping…"

Saya was listening very carefully.

"And I woke up, and she was right in my face," Ichigo used his hands to demonstrate the close distance, "just leaning over me and breathing on me! I've never been more scared for my own safety in my life!"

"What did you do?!" Saya stared at him painfully. "Did you call the cops or anything for trespassing?"

"No," Ichigo explained fearfully, "I just closed my eyes and hoped she didn't notice I was awake. I had to pretend to be asleep until she left."

"Ohhhh no…No you didn't," Saya snorted unbelievably.

"I didn't know what else to do! And then she climbed back out my window," he finished his summary of the repressed memory.

"How long was she there for?"

"I don't know how long it was!" Ichigo was hysterical. "I was just glad she was gone!"

"Oh my god," Saya was fully disturbed, but she couldn't stop laughing. "That is just…scary..and so wrong."

"No kidding," Ichigo ran his hands down his face. "So if she ever calls….please—"

"Don't worry," she held up her hand. "I got it." Saya walked back over to her desk to get back to work. "Trust me I'm great at coming up with excuses. If she calls again, she won't get through to you I promise."

Ichigo sighed with relief.

Just as Saya plugged the phone back in, it rang.

The two looked at each other.

Saya quickly checked the caller ID. "Oh," Saya laughed. "She's already calling back."

"Don't pick up," Ichigo warned earnestly.

Saya looked at him closely. She knew that if no one picked up, the groupie would just keep calling and calling. That's how psycho ex's were. Grimmjow wasn't even a stalker and he was always calling Saya; so she could imagine how bad Ichigo must have it.

Saya studied the look of panic and repulsion on Ichigo's face. Her sympathy got the better of her, and she decided to take matters into her own hands.

"What are you doing?!" Ichigo motioned to stop her from picking up the phone, but he halted as she put her finger to her lips, signaling him to be quiet.

"Trust me," she said compellingly. "I will handle this."

Ichigo watched her as she cleared her throat and to his discomfort, put the phone on speaker.

"Miss Inoue?" she said politely.

"_Umm, yes?"_

Ichigo felt a tremor of distress go up his neck at the sound of her squeaky voice.

"Hi, sorry I lost you there for a moment—"

"_Did you find Ichigo?"_ the groupie interrupted hastily. "_I know um… something's been wrong since he hasn't um..returned any of my calls…Is he there now? Can I talk to him?"_

"Nope. Absolutely not," Saya answered shorty and Ichigo stared at her like she was crazy. "You will never talk to him again unless you want me to track you down and legally strip you of everything you own. And that's just me being nice. After we get through all the legal charges I'd file against you, then I'd personally see to it that wherever you go, you won't have enough money to even buy toilet paper. Maybe I'll even have you deported, since I just…really don't like you….Am I making myself clear?" Saya waved Ichigo over in a business-like manner.

"What's the name of your band?" she whispered to him. Ichigo blinked at her, failing to see the significance.

"Getsuga Tensho," he answered quietly.

Saya nodded and thought to herself.

"_Um…w-who is this_?" the stalker stuttered, sounding shocked from Saya's threatening speech.

"This is Getsuga Tensho's agent. I'm a highly impatient individual with no conscience and no tolerance for paparazzi who try to sneak into my client's windows; FYI, we have that on tape." Saya cleared her throat again. "So just to recap, leave my client alone or I will make you **disappear**," Saya spoke with intense, icy conviction, but when she looked back at Ichigo she was smiling with complete uncertainty. She was totally winging it.

Ichigo almost laughed out loud at her goofy expression and how she was just laying on this story without any practice.

"And trust me Miss Inoue," Saya put her game face back on, "I know people… I can make this happen." She shrugged her shoulders at Ichigo. She knew this was waaay over the top, but she just couldn't help herself.

And then….sobbing. All they could hear from the other line was sobbing.

Saya gaped silently at Ichigo. The guilt was tremendous, and Saya was totally shocked that this girl was actually _crying._

Ichigo was just as shocked, but didn't feel any guilt whatsoever. This time he was the one having trouble keeping himself from laughing. Laughter of course, is contagious, and soon both Ichigo and Saya were stifling giggles.

"_Y-you you_…" the sobbing continued. _"Y-your taking I-ichigo away from me?_!" the voice cracked with emotion.

"Uhh, yes." Saya gave Ichigo a confused look. "Yep. I am—"she looked at him for ideas as she concentrated, "—officially…prohibiting you from creepin—seeing, him ever again. In the name of the law….Under pain of death."

_"B-but…. you c-can't! I –I love him!"_

Saya and Ichigo had even more difficulty trying not to laugh. Saya pulled herself together (barely) and leaned closer to Ichigo.

"I don't think I can do this," she whispered to him with obviously fake sincerity, "It just doesn't seem right, I mean she's sooo in love with you and—"

"Cut it out!" Ichigo laughed noiselessly back and pushed her shoulder. "Get rid of her!"

Saya nodded and cleared her throat again.

"_But…"_ the girl sniveled. "_But..Miss…Miss..?"_

Saya didn't want to give the stalker her real name. She tried thinking of an alias when Ichigo interjected.

"Cupcake," he recommended in a whisper and smirked as Saya glanced at him darkly. Hey, if she got to tease him, why couldn't he tease her?

Saya shook her head stubbornly.

"C'mon," Ichigo laughed, "Just do it!"

"Umm, " Saya pursed her lips together stubbornly as she watched Ichigo chuckling.

_Awhh, what the hell…_she thought.

"Cupcake," she said out loud, and with instant regret shook her head while she spoke. "You can just call me Cupcake. Some of my—" she gave Ichigo a look, "clients call me Cupcake so…"

_"M-miss Cupcake,"_ she began and Ichigo instantly gawffed at the title.

"Shhh!" Saya grinned back at him soundlessly.

_"I…you.. you can't! Miss Cupcake you can't!—"_

"No buts Miss Inoue," Saya tried to say over the sobbing. "Stay away from Mr. Kurosaki or I will order civilization to shun you, okay?"

More sobbing. _"O…k-kay,"_ the blubbering continued.

"Great! Glad we're on the same page. Never contact my client again unless you want to die alone…in the very near future."

"…_what?"_

"Getsuga Tens ho appreciates your long-distance support! Bye now!" Saya hung up and looked at Ichigo. "You think that was too mean?"

"That was awesome! HAhahah!" Ichigo clapped. "She totally bought that!" Ichigo couldn't believe it. If this kept Orihime from bothering him he could start going back to his favorite music store without worrying about being followed, and he go back to sleeping in just his boxers without feeling paranoid. No more creepy late night text messages or weird pictures. His whole horizon had just opened up.

"Yeah well, you'll just have to see if it actually works…" Saya told him.

"Whatever, even just hearing her getting scared like that was worth it," Ichigo grinned. "Thanks," he said to her.

Says shrugged. "I was just sort of going off what I've seen Rukia do….but I know how annoying," she stumbled over he word choice, "_unwanted_ calls can be. So…I'm pretty good at threatening people. And it was kinda fun," she admitted. "Hehehehhehe, I feel like I have so much power now…"

Ichigo looked at her for a minute. It was nice having her smiling at him instead of trying to bite his head off. Though that was sort of fun too.

"The power to order civilization to shun people?" he mocked her.

"Yes," she said proudly. "Now get your shoes off my desk, I've got work to do," Saya went back to her computer.

Ichigo scoffed lightly and grabbed his damaged shoes. _There she goes back to her usual self… _"Fine then, see you later Cupcake."

Saya looked over at him. "No."

Ichigo laughed.

"No," Saya started smiling. "You cannot call me that."

"You already said it was okay on the phone," Ichigo countered.

"That was a one time thing!" Saya claimed.

"Too late Cupcake," Ichigo walked away with a smirk.

"Ichigo PLEASE!"

Ichigo had to turn around at how desperate she sounded.

"Just …Don't say it in front of Nel…If she hears you calling me that," For the first time Ichigo thought he saw fear in Saya's eyes, "It will never end. And I will go insane…"

A part of Ichigo felt bad as he realized Saya was as susceptible to being destroyed by Nel as he was. But then he remembered his shoes.

"Really?" he said and smiled darkly at her. "So who's got the power now eh?"

Her eyes widened at his sneaky threat. "Are you serious!? After what I just did for you on the phone? You're gonna use my own daughter against—"

"Ah, ah, ah," Ichigo interrupted her. "I'd watch that tone of yours, Cupcake. Or else I might start telling everyone that your new name is Cupcake, Cupcake."

"That is not my NAME!" she hissed at him as he smirked.

"Sure it's not Cupcake," Ichigo walked out.

"Hey!...Dammit," Saya mumbled. "That's AGENT Cupcake to you, Strawberry!" she shouted after him.

Ichigo was still smiling when he got into the living room and sat on the couch next to Karin. Yuzu and Nel were on the floor coloring.

Karin just stared at him and shook her head ever so slowly with disapproval.

"Gross."

Ichigo's ears went red as he remembered her text message. "Karin, you got it all wrong—"

"GROSS." Karin gave him the talk-to-the-hand.

Ichigo scowled and looked back at the T.V.

"…She's cool though," Karin said after a few minutes of silence.

_She's married. _Ichigo thought in his head. "It's not even like that."

"I know," Karin smirked. "But she's cool. That's all I'm saying."

"Who's cool?" Nel looked up from her place on the floor.

Ichigo looked at Karin and he saw Karin give Yuzu some sort of "twin" look. Yuzu smiled at Ichigo …with one of those sister faces. Or the face Keigo would give him whenever he got a text from Orihime [insert wiggly eyebrows].

Ichigo grimaced self-consciously.

"No one Nel," he said and went back to watching the T.V.

"Nel's cool though? Right Itsygo!?"

"Sure," Ichigo smiled quietly. Maybe Saya was pretty cool….sometimes…

"Nel's cooler than YOU even!"

"Yeah…."

"BaAHahaAHHA! Itsygooo's a LooooooseRrrr!"

V_V

To be Continued…

…

**Next you guys will see a flash back of Ichigo in middle school where Saya first catches his attention. Stay Tuned.**

**Next Chapter: ****_4 minutes and 56 seconds_**


	11. Chapter 11: 4 Minutes And 56 Seconds

**DISCLAIMER: All rights of original Bleach characters/story go to Tite Kubo …..**

(A/N: I'm tweeking the timeline juuust a bit of a few things with Chad's past. But..it's fanfic soo…)

**~*FLASHBACK*~**

Ichigo was on his way to school. He was dragging his book bag over his shoulder as he groggily made his way up the drive to the Junior High Building.

_Mondays… _he thought sourly and let out a wide yawn. He looked ahead and saw Chad heading up to the school too.

Ichigo had just started getting to know that guy. He was sorta weird and quiet, but overall Ichigo liked him. (A/N: So this would be after the first fight where Chad saved Ichigo in middle school, but before the time where Ichigo saves Chad and they make their special little pact. ONE OF THE MOST PRECIOUS MOMENTS IN BLEACH!)

Ichigo was about to yell 'wait up' but suddenly a girl swooped down out of nowhere.

"Chad!" she called out and caught up to the giant middler-schooler. "Hey…"

Chad stopped and turned toward the dark-haired girl slowly.

Ichigo thought something was up. Sure Chad wasn't the most social guy he knew, but they way he was avoiding eye-contact seemed a little strange. Especially if that girl was his friend or something.

"..How are you doing?" she asked him softly, looking at him with a rather worried expression and then looked at her feet. "I was very…very sorry to hear…" she trailed off.

"I'm fine I guess," Chad answered stiffly. The girl looked up at him with a mix between frowning and caring.

"No you're not," she objected delicately. "Get over here you big liar." The girl lovingly embraced the towering teen in a firm hug. Ichigo immediately ducked out of sight, seeing as this was probably about something personal. That didn't stop him from peeking and slightly laughing at the height difference between the two.

Chad was just standing there awkwardly as the girl hugged him.

"Saya, you really don't have to. I said I was fine."

"That's what everyone says. There's nothing wrong with feeling sad, so you don't have to pretend you're not, Chad." She looked up at him. "He was a really important person to you. Don't feel like you need to hush up how you're feeling. I'm you're friend, that's what I'm here for." She released him and he gave her a shaky nod.

_What is she talking about? _ Ichigo watched closely.

"Anything you need today, you tell me alright? I will hold your hand through five hours of heavy sobbing, I don't care," the girl continued.

"Okay," Chad slightly smiled and sniffled.

"I mean it, you start feeling bad and I'll get you out of class before you can say bweno. What ever you need, I got your back Yasutora Nacho. Alright buddy?" she patted his arm and looked up at him for an answer.

_Yeah right, _Ichigo thought to himself. Now that he got a better look at her, he recognized her as one of the girls in their class. One of the smart ones that always got straight A's and always happened to have her answers covered whenever Ichigo needed to cheat. _No way she would let him ditch class._

"Yeah, thanks Saya," Chad said quietly.

The girl studied her tall friend and gave him one last hug.

"_Hey! Chad_!" someone else shouted from the distance.

The girl gave Chad a look as if to say 'want me to get rid of them?' But Chad just shook his head.

"Alright.." she sighed. "Hang in there okay?" she smiled softly at Chad and gave him another pat on the arm before leaving him.

Keigo turned out to be the one yelling at Chad. Ichigo took that as his cue to head over as well.

"Hey Ichigo!" Keigo grinned and Mizuiro followed while talking on his brand new cell phone. "Did you just see what I just saw?!" Keigo ran over and jumped in front of Chad. "What's the word my man!? Since when did you get a girlfriend?! AND HOW COULD YOU KEEP IT FROM US!? You gotta spill Chad! I NEED DETAILS!" he attempted to shake Chad's immovable shoulders.

"What's the matter with you?!" Ichigo smacked Keigo in the back of the head. "Leave him alone for crying out loud!" Ichigo didn't know the particulars, but from what he had just overheard, Chad was having a bad day. Keigo being the moron he was, was probably only making it worse.

"What?! ICHIGO! Are. You. BLIND!?" Keigo pointed in the direction the girl had just gone. "Clearly the new-kid has been holding out on me! ARen't you guys curious!? DID YOU EVEN SEE HER BUTT?! Seriously Chad! How's a quiet guy like you get a chick like that when I can't even get ONE underclassmen girl to say yes to my witty pick-up lines!?"

"Probably because the pick-up lines aren't the problem," Mizuiro answered plainly.

"What's that supposed to mean!?" Keigo looked at his close friend desperately.

"It means, you suck Keigo," Ichigo stated the obvious.

"Guys," Chad interrupted. "I think the bell's going to ring…"

"Chad's right," Ichigo threw his book-bag back over his shoulder again. "We're gonna be late." Ichigo started walking after Chad.

"FINE!" Keigo jogged along his friends to keep up. "But just give me one little detail Chad!"

"There's really nothing to tell," Chad replied stoically.

"Then what was with you two getting all huggy-wuggy back there? You call that nothing?" Keigo wiggled his eyebrows. "Because I'd call that H. !" he jabbed Chad with his elbow.

"She's just my friend."

"With benefits!" Keigo nodded eagerly at Chad and the rest of the guys. "Am I right or am I right!?"

"No really," Chad said with a rather uncomfortable look on his face and opened his locker to get his books. "Sorry guys."

"Go to class Keigo," Ichigo shoved his friend down the hall. "Go on before I kick your butt!" he threatened.

"Ichigo!" Keigo shouted with betrayal. "That's no fair! I want to hear the whole story too!"

"BEAT IT!" Ichigo yelled with a scowl and Keigo ran away crying.

"WHAT KIND OF FRIEND DOES THIS TO HIS BEST FRIEND?! I THOUGHT WE WERE AMIGOS CHAD!?"

"What makes you think we're friends Mr. Asano?" Mizuiro followed his whimpering pal.

"STOP THAT! YOU KNOW I HATE WHEN YOU TALK TO ME LIKE THAT MIZUIRO!"

"What an idiot…" Ichigo sighed and scratched the back of head as he waited for Chad to finish up at his locker. "But he does have a point…"

Chad closed his locker and looked at Ichigo.

"What's up Chad?" Ichigo waited for an answer. He wasn't sure if Chad would tell him, but since he knew Chad better than the other guys, he figured he'd have a better chance at getting an answer now that the other two were gone.

Chad's stance was so solid Ichigo could barely tell he was breathing. His eyes disappeared in the mess of his shaggy brown bangs and he vaguely reached up to hold the medallion he always wore around his neck. He looked at it for a second and then let it sit back in its place on his chest.

"My Abuelo just died."

"Uhh…Your… what?" Ichigo frowned. _Is that the name of his pet or something? _

"My Abuelo…it's the Mexican word for Grandfather," Chad explained with a hidden downcast expression.

"Oh.." Ichigo barely said. Thoughts of his Mother's death filled his head. "I… I'm sorry man," he clasped the silent giant's shoulder sympathetically. He couldn't think of anything to say.

Chad nodded.

_Goddamn Monday's, _Ichigo thought bitterly…_way to be a freaking jerk…_

"So then…" Ichigo rambled. "How'd ya know that girl? Since you guys aren't going out?" He wanted to change the subject fast.

"She's in our class."

"Oh right," Ichigo said stupidly.

"But we both grew up in Okinawa …we also take guitar lessons from the same teacher," Chad added in his monotone voice.

"You play guitar?" Ichigo's ears perked up. "Nice, me too."

"Really?" Chad blinked at Ichigo. "Then maybe we should play sometime."

"You got it," he gave Chad a slap on the back and they went to their homeroom.

…

Class was just as boring as usual, but Ichigo hadn't gone into his routine napping-mode. He kept looking over at Chad.

The girl, whose name he remembered was Saya Kurashina, had a seat that was right behind Chad. Ichigo could see that she was keeping an eye on him with watchful concern. But he wondered how well she could tell he was doing when she could only see the back of his head. Not that looking Chad in the face would've been easier to judge, with his messy hair and all.

At one point when Ichigo looked over he saw her yawn…for a really long time…but once she had let it all out she blinked her sleepy, watery eyes a few times and Ichigo thought maybe Keigo was right.

_She is pretty cute._

The second time she yawned, she stretched her arms out wide and flexed her back. Ichigo had to look away that time. He didn't want to get caught staring.

Their teacher had gone into a lecture about imported produce. "…_Tomatoes were brought over from the Southern America's to the Philippines, and then started being distributed through the rest of Asia…" _she was saying when Ichigo noticed Saya notice something.

Chad had hunched over slightly and Saya had immediately stopped her diligent note taking to try and peek around to see if he was all right. She sat back in her desk and stared at the back of Chad's head with worry. Then she scribbled something on to the corner of her notes, ripped it out, folded it and casually tossed it on Chad's desk when the teacher wasn't looking.

Chad gave a subtle cough and Ichigo saw Saya nod to herself.

_..Is she really gonna get him out of class? _Ichigo wondered and continued watching her. She sat up straight in her chair, took a few short lungful's of air and then held in her breath.

Ichigo scoffed. _What the hell…?_

After a good 20 seconds she still hadn't exhaled. Ichigo smirked to himself and set his stopwatch. Her cheeks were starting to bulge and her face was turning red.

_One minute, 12 seconds…_Ichigo checked the time.

He watched her shift uncomfortably in her chair, but when she heard Chad sniffle her face contorted with concentration and she kept her lips sealed tighter than a bank vault.

_What is this even going to accomplish!? _Ichigo had no idea what the hell this girl was doing, but it was freaking hilarious. She lurched forward a few times in her chair, trying to hold still and trying to keep her breath in.

_Holy Shit! 4 minutes 56—_

_*WACK!*_

She fainted face first, completely smashing into her desk.

"What the hell?!" Tatsuki shouted from her desk behind Saya. "Is she okay?!"

Chad wiped his face with his sleeve and got out of his chair to go over to Saya's desk.

"What happened?" the students all stared.

"Did she pass out?"

"Settle down," the teacher bade the class. "I'm sure she's all right."

Chad lifted the girl by her shoulders and her neck rolled back unconsciously, revealing a Niagara Falls nosebleed all over Saya's desk and smeared under her nose.

"UUUUUUUGH!" The whole class cringed.

"WHAT THE?" Keigo cried. "WHY IS THERE SO MUCH BLOOD?!"

Ichigo stared with incomprehension. _HOLY FREAKING CRAP! _He thought with a half grin.

"SOMEONE GET HER A TISSUE!"

"_A _TISSUE? GET HER THE WHOLE BOX!"

"Sensei," Chad said as he held a handkerchief under her nose. "Can I take her to the nurse?"

"YeS! GO! Get her out of her! Before it sprays all over my classroom!" the teacher beckoned.

Chad nodded and picked up his self-debilitated friend and carried her out of the room. If Chad had been close to crying a second ago, he certainly seemed in a lighter mood now. Ichigo couldn't blame him. _THAT WAS FRICKIN GENIUS! HOW DO YOU EVEN PLAN THAT?!_

"TAKE THE BOX WITH YOU!" one of the students ran after them with the Kleenex while the rest gathered around the door to watch.

"OOW—GOD IT SPRAYED IN MY EYE!"

Ichigo laughed to himself. What kind of person would go that far; do something so ridiculous just to cut class? Especially since that nosebleed had probably stained all those lecture notes she had been taking. He smirked and all the other students started getting back to their seats.

"What was that?!" Keigo looked at Ichigo from his seat. "Did you see what happened Ichigo?"

Ichigo shook his head and smiled. "Your guess is as good as mine. But I did see her face-plant into the desk!" Ichigo laughed to himself. What a strange girl…

The bell rang to go home. Neither Chad or Saya had come back from the nurse's office. Ichigo would've thought Chad a lucky bastard for getting to skip class, but he knew Chad was the last person he should envy right now.

He hoped Chad would make it through all right. He was a nice guy. With all the bullying he had been getting over his size this year, losing a family member was the last thing he needed.

Ichigo was gathering up his books to head out with Keigo and Mizuiro when he noticed the note Saya had thrown at Chad was still on Chad's desk. He walked over and opened it.

_Can you handle hauling my fat butt_

_ outta here to the "nurses office"_

_ when I give the signal?_

_Cough if yes. Clear throat if no. Copy?_

Ichigo smirked and saw Chad had written back a short,

_Over and out._

_Geeze, _Ichigo thought to himself and threw the slip of paper in the trash. _Even when he's passing notes Chad doesn't say much does he?_

To Be Continued…

…..

**So please review! I need to know what you guys think! PLEASE! Coming up, Grimmjow makes his debut at the court date for the divorce. And he is not exactly sober. HEHEHHEHEHEH!**

**Next Chapter: ****_Imm'a THUG!_**


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Bleach, Humor, Romance