Naruto 1. Chapter 1

Edited by Skelethin.

Special thanks go to Cornuthaum, Nightelf, Typhonis, Vasey, Yasuhei, MageOhki, Aleh and TFF in general for comments and help. You know who you all are.

* * *

"Reload"

Chapter 1

* * *

"Innuendo."

* * *

Normal day for Team 7.

If something like that existed.

Normal.

Sakura arrived first. As always. Hoping against hope that Sasuke-kun will be a little earlier so she could have a few glorious moments with him. Just the two of them. No perverted teachers, no loud morons...

Bliss.

Not to be, of course.

Uzumaki Naruto and Uchiha Sasuke arrived from the different points. In a different way (Sasuke's, of course, was cool).

Yet it was, like always, as if they... coordinated or something. At the same time. At the same moment.

"Dobe." Muttered Sasuke, walking in a purposeful, calm gait (Inner Sakura squealed as the wind blew through his hair).

"Bastard." Returned Naruto cordially, walking into the clearing with his natural (moronic) energy.

Cordial greetings between the good teammates of Team 7.

Sakura sighed only to blink.

'...huh?'

She frowned, tapping her fingers on the tree for a second.

Something was wrong with that picture. Very wrong. As if..

'...where is Sasuke-kun's sexy 'hnn'? Or even that shrill 'Sakura-chan!' from the idiot?'

None.

Silence.

Instead of goading Sasuke, Naruto sat by the nearby tree and pulled out...

Sakura blinked.

...a note pad?

Sasuke, on the other hand, instead of his usual brooding and condescending look (one that Sakura knew very well) simply leaned on the side of the same tree Naruto was sitting by. He was looking... bored. Not condesciending, aloof or calm - just bored.

'No. Not bored but...' She blinked owlishly, taking in the lazy posture, half-lidded black eyes gazing forward, yet unseeing '...Sasuke-kun is... is... is he... relaxed?'

Inner Sakura boggled.

Outer Sakura followed.

Naruto pulled out a pencil. Bit it. Stared at the notepad (a fresh one, from what Sakura could see) with intensity that he usually reserved for her or for the possibility of learning jutsu.

Not a word spoken.

Then Naruto started to scrawl. Not furiously. Not quickly, but... It seemed almost... fluid. He looked almost serious when he wrote whatever he was writing. For a long moment, there was only silence, interrupted by the scratching of the pencil on the paper.

Sasuke, his eyes still half lidded, looked down and to the side.

He raised an eyebrow.

"...hnn?"

Naruto stopped writing.

"Left."

Sasuke's eyebrow rose slowly.

"No."

Naruto sighed.

"Yes."

"No. Not with that. I still say left."

"Because you're fucking stubborn. I'm telling you it goes up."

Sasuke scoffed.

"Left. When the spiral arcs it-" He started., only to be interrupted by the mildly irritated Naruto.

"No. it has-"

"Yes. it goes-" Sasuke moved his hand.

"But in this case-"

"No. In this case it should be-"

"Blue?" Naruto blinked. "Oh HELL no. I'm telling you-"

"Facts are facts." Muttered Sasuke. "Stubborn. Red is only-"

"No it _isn't_!" Naruto tapped his notepad with a mild scowl. "If you can only see-!"

"I can." Sasuke nodded. "But I'm telling you. Left."

"Listen, just because it went ONCE in-"

Sasuke frowned.

"Not just once." He grumbled. "And you kn-"

Naruto rolled his eyes, pointing at something on the paper.

"Yes. But see. it is like-"

"...Ah." Sasuke blinded. "Now that's different. Think I can-"

"No."

"...why not?" Snapped the Uchiha. "Is it because-"

"No. No. N.O." Naruto growled. "What part of NO can't you understand, you effeminate prick?"

"But it _worked_!" protested Sasuke. "You saw that it-"

"Not like THAT!" snapped the blond. "See, it is all about-"

"Bullshit." Sasuke said bluntly. "Just because you use-"

"Not me. It happens every damn-"

"But what if-"

"Not even then." Naruto sighed. "Why can't you just-"

Sasuke growled, grabbing a stick, using a patch of sand to scribble something furiously on it.

Naruto's eyebrows shot up.

"See?" Sasuke said triumphantly. "If you only diffuse-"

"You get a boom. A big one." Naruto said flatly.

"No. You're not looking at it correctly." Sasuke pointed at something in the center. "See?"

Naruto blinked owlishly.

"This stuff actually... works?" He said dubiously.

Sasuke hnned.

"As in _tested_?" Naruto looked at the Uchiha dubiously.

"...well, theoretically..." Sasuke mumbled, looking away.

"...oh HELL no." Naruto snapped his notepad shut. "It will be like-"

"No. Not this time. If only-"

"Well, yes, but-" Naruto hesitated.

"See? I told you. You just need to-"

"Well, yeah, but what if-"

"Not happening." Sasuke snapped, clearly irritated. "It just needs-"

"Oh and here we go again." Naruto rolled his eyes. "Another-'

"Once!" Sasuke seethed, clearly pissed. "Just _once_! You had-"

"Just because I WORK bastard!" Naruto scowled. "I still say-"

"It can be done. It just needs-"

"You don't have-"

"But I can." Sasuke waved his hand vaguely.

"...dude..." Naruto said skeptically. "It is like... like putting jello in ramen! It won't-"

"Sure it will." Sasuke scoffed. "It is s-"

"Yeah. Suuure it is." Naruto smiled sardonically. "Just like-"

Sasuke scowled.

"Don't start with that again-!"

"... you and your fucking toys." Naruto grimaced.

Sasuke pointed at Naruto's face.

"No. Dissing. The. Sword." He said dangerously.

"Feh." Naruto scoffed. putting the notepad into his jacket. "It is not even yours to begin with."

"I will reclaim it." Sasuke said primly.

"Don't you mean 'steal'?" Naruto smirked.

"Hey. Whatever works." Sasuke shrugged philosophically. "Not like _they_ can use it."

"Sure they can. Only-"

"I'm not starting _that_ discussion again." Sasuke huffed.

Naruto grimaced.

"Not a _word_."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah... you and your fucking baby." Naruto grimaced, before frowning. "Still, this wouldn't be so..."

Sasuke blinked.

"Point." He frowned. "Cash?"

"That too." Naruto nodded thoughtfully.

"Ah." Sasuke tapped his cheek. "Do we-?"

"Yep." Naruto nodded cheerfully. "Let's kick back a little. And-"

"Right." Sasuke nodded, leaning on the tree with a sigh and running his hand through the dark bangs.

Naruto sighed.

"...don't do that, bastard."

Sasuke blinked.

"Do what?"

"That thing with your voice, and sigh and... well, you know." Naruto waved his hand vaguely. "You are effeminate enough as it is."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, before smirking faintly.

Naruto scowled.

"...not a word."

Sasuke sighed forlornly and the air... shifted. Leaving a raven tressed, teenaged beauty in his place.

She smiled teasingly, slowly pulling her hand through her bangs daintily.

Naruto blinked.

"...you know..." he said looking at the oiroked Sasuke thoughtfully. "I don't know if to be amazed or scared how little is needed to make you into a sexy girl."

Sasuke-chan smirked.

"I know." She nodded sagely. "I'm just too sexy either way."

Sakura stared.

Naruto and Sasuke blinked at the odd noise, turning to the stupefied Sakura.

"What's with her?" Naruto muttered curiously.

Sasuke-chan shrugged, her breasts moving under the now-skimpy shirt.

Sakura fainted.

"Huh." Naruto scratched his head. "Imagine that. Only five minutes. Score!"

Sasuke blinked, looking down at her breasts.

"...you know, this can be a good knock-out jutsu if-" She mumbled, a thoughtful look in her eyes.

"I already made one." Naruto rolled is eyes.

Sasuke scowled.

"...rain on my parade, why won't you."

"I can always-"

"I'll make my own." The raven haired beauty sniffed.

"Aww, is widdle Sasuke-chan jealous?" Naruto waggled his eyebrows.

"Stuff it." Sasuke-chan huffed in a particularly feminine way, before jumping on one of the lower branches gracefully. "So?"

"Well, we will have to-"

"No. Not 'now' now."

"Ah." Naruto nodded. "Why, whatever we do every night, Sasuke-chan." Naruto nodded sagely.

* * *

Kakashi blinked owlishly.

Team 7, despite its rather... odd... members, was predictable like a clockwork. Appear late. Get yelled at. Get mission, See Sakura KO Naruto. See Sakura fawn over Sasuke. See Naruto being an idiot and Sasuke brooding.

The Team 7 patented routine.

Only Sakura was out cold, Naruto was sitting and scowling at some sort of a notepad and...

Kakashi blinked.

"Naruto, where is Sasuke?"

Naruto didn't look up form his notepad, instead just pointing upwards at the tree.

Kakashi had noticed the quite cute teenaged bombshell before, but he thought she was just one of Sasuke's fangirls. Now said bombshell was sitting on the tree, stretched like a large cat and playing with, of all things, a yo-yo.

"Yo. Bastard."

"...what?" The girl mumbled distractedly, making a particularly complicated trick with the red toy. She finished it, looking down and noticing Kakashi.

"Oh. You." She frowned, tapping her cheek, before pointing at him. "You're late." The raven-haired girl deadpanned.

It was when the yo-yo stopped moving that Kakashi noticed the familiar fan on it.

"... Sasuke?" He muttered with disbelief.

"Why are you so-" Sasuke blinked, before looking down at her bust. "Oh. Right."

A small wisp of smoke and a second later the tree had a shorter, younger and most decidedly non-female Uchiha on it.

Kakashi blinked owlishly.

'...I have a feeling it is going to be just one of those days...'

* * *

"No."

"This is a sound idea, we will have-"

"YOU will have. No." Naruto snapped. "Forget about it."

"But-" Sasuke protested.

"I am NOT going on a date with you in my Oiroke, bastard." Naruto growled. "Not even as a fangirl deterrent."

"...some friend you are." Sasuke muttered petulantly.

"Go and ask Sakura or something." Naruto waved his hand. "Or Ino. They'd be happy to help."

Sasuke threw Naruto a withering look.

Naruto blinked.

"Oh. Right." He muttered sheepishly. "Sorry."

Sasuke grunted, snagging something from the left.

"...there you are." The Uchiha muttered, holding the cat.

Naruto's grin turned from sheepish to murderous, as the blond reached for his kunai.

Sasuke frowned.

"You can't stab the cat, Naruto."

"Sure I can." Naruto said with a demented chuckle. "Watch me."

"You can't stab the damn cat."

"Don't CARE." The blond took a step closer to the scared animal. "This fucker gave me so much grief over-"

"No. Stabbing. The. Cat." Sasuke scowled, looking at the furball. "Not this time around anyway."

Naruto blinked.

Sasuke pulled an explosive note.

"Sasuke... there are moments that you are awesome." Naruto said seriously. "Small ones, few and far in between, but they happen. This is one of them."

Sasuke smirked, before frowning.

"...what the hell do you mean small and few and far in between?"

* * *

Kakashi glared at his subordinates. Or one, to be exact.

"Naruto." He snapped.

The blond tried not to snicker at Kakashi's somewhat burned, fatigued appearance. The mask was, oddly, about the only semi-intact thing on the jounin.

Kakashi's eyes narrowed.

He knew the boy was notorious troublemaker and prankster. He had read the files, he listened to the outraged citizens... But he had never realized just how much of a troublemaker Naruto could be with his pranks. To be honest, the blond calmed down a lot after becoming part of Team 7. Now it seemed this 'calm' was just a calm before the storm.

What possessed him to tie the explosive tag to the tail of the, admittedly annoying, animal, he had no idea. But if he hadn't spotted it in time...

"Is nearly blowing your teacher up so amusing?" He asked dangerously.

Sure, he was fast. Sure, he was a jounin. He even saved the cat. And ended up eating the fringe of the explosion with his clothes and vest.

"Well, is it?" He growled, looming over Naruto.

The clothes were the minor issue, but if not for the fact that his pockets were semi-armored... His Icha Icha nearly got burnt. Nearly blown up! This was something Kakashi would _not_ let slide.

"You had nearly blown up a target of the mission. A daimyo's wife cat, and nearly ended blowing up me." His eye narrowed.

"Hey, it's not like YOU were the target." Naruto shrugged.

"This was the target of your mission, Naruto." Kakashi said dangerously. "D-rank or not, I should fail you right now." He scowled under the mask. The blond was just NOT getting it. Obviously he had been far too lenient on the brat. Well it was time for a lesson.

"Because of the unprofessional conduct, I'm considering the mission a failure. You will be given an official demerit and are, as a whole, suspended." He said coldly.

Naruto frowned thoughtfully.

"Hey, bastard?" He turned to Sasuke. "How long does an official suspension with the demerit last?"

Sasuke scratched his chin.

"...Hmm... two weeks?" He nodded. "Yes. Something about that." He blinked. "Hey. Suspension."

"Yep." Naruto nodded cheerfully. "Free time. Legally, to boot." He grinned. "As I said, there are moments when you're just awesome."

"Well I am a genius you know." Sasuke shrugged.

"Sure, sure. Keep telling yourself that." The jinchuuriki rolled his eyes. "Come on, let's get a drink, genius. First round's on me."

Kakashi blinked owlishly.

This was... not how it was supposed to work.

Naruto should be indignant and screaming, Sasuke angry and Sakura pissed at the blond. Screaming, sulking, lesson learned and...

The jounin blinked again.

...and the two boys were walking away bickering about drinks while Sakura just stood by with a strangest expression on her face that didn't know if to settle on disbelief, surprise or just plain confusion, which was about the expression she had from the time she woke up.

"...huh?"

* * *

"This is an OUTRAGE!"

"Calm down, moron." Sasuke muttered, hefting the large bag on his shoulder.

"I mean... this is... an OUTRAGE!" Naruto seethed, walking beside Sasuke, his own bag on the shoulder. "I want to get WASTED goddamit!"

"You will. Geez." Sasuke rolled his eyes. "And stop jumping, goddamit! Or you'll break the bottles."

"Shut up. I wanted to get wasted. To play darts, and some pool and get shitfaced and end up in some fine cleavage..." He glared at Sasuke. "And no crack about the last one."

"Hey!" Sasuke scowled. "Are you saying that I'm-"

Naruto growled.

"Not. A. Word." He snapped.

"...you wouldn't know a good pair if they KO'ed you." Sasuke sniffed haughtily.

Naruto glared at his friend.

"There are moments that you seriously freak me out, Sasuke." he said flatly.

"Feh."

"Anyway... this is an outrage!" Naruto kicked a pebble.

"Fuck.. we're going to get wasted either way!" Sasuke rolled his eyes. "And don't whine. We can use the props for dart throwing or whatever."

"But you don't have the pool table!" Naruto whined. "...This is so unfair." He sulked. "Who in their right mind keeps the bar CLOSED at this hour?"

"Naruto... It is ten o' clock. In the morning." Sasuke said flatly.

"So?"

The Uchiha sighed.

"Just don't break the bottles, dobe."

"As if I'd waste good booze." Naruto muttered.

"Well you-"

"SHUT UP!" Naruto glared. "That was an accident!"

"An accident happening fifty eight times. In a row. Yeah." Sasuke smirked. "Some accident."

"It was in the name of science, bastard." Naruto grumbled. "Not like YOU would understand."

"There is science, and there is wasting good booze." The Uchiha said with a shrug.

"...I still say it's unfair." Naruto sulked.

"...fuck. I'll buy you that goddamn pool table!" Sasuke snapped. "Just shut up, will you?"

"Which still leaves me with no one to play with." Naruto muttered. "'Cause you can't play worth shit, even with that Sharingan of yours. You'd think that that prediction ability would help you, but noooo...!"

"Temari can't play worth shit either." Pointed out Sasuke. "And somehow you didn't have too much trouble with that."

"That's cuz she leans over a lot when she plays." Naruto grinned.

Sasuke stopped.

"...you know, suddenly pool has just become so much more interesting." He muttered thoughtfully.

"I told you. The game of champions, man." Naruto smirked.

Sasuke blinked.

"That's poker." He pointed out.

"Nah. Pool's better." Naruto shook his head. "I win too muchat poker. No challenge that way."

"Point." The Uchiha winced. Naruto's luck at cards wasn't just weird. It was unnatural.

He frowned thoughtfully.

"...wait. If you win every time, what about the strip-"

Naruto hummed, grinning like a loon.

"...son of a bitch!" Sasuke scowled. "You're taking me to the next one!"

* * *

"Home sweet home." Sasuke breathed, allowing the load to gently slide off his shoulder.

"Yep." Naruto nodded. "Dibs on the couch."

The raven haired boy gave his friend a sideways glance.

"Never could understand why you like that piece of shit. It is uncomfortable as hell." He muttered, reaching into the bag and rummaging through it.

"Good memories, bastard. _Very_ good memories." Naruto smirked, only to scowl as he saw Sasuke popping a white cigarette into his mouth and lighting it with a one-seal katon.

"Oh fuck no!" Naruto glared. "You're not smoking that shit again! When the fuck did you manage to buy it anyway?"

"On the way." Sasuke shrugged, taking a long drag and letting loose a minty smoke. "Ahhh... Now that's better."

"...I hate that shit." Naruto grimaced. "Menthol cigarettes... kami... can't you smoke like a normal person, you bastard? What kind of a man smokes _menthol_ cigs?"

"I do." Sasuke said flatly before 'shifting'. "That better, dobe-kun?" She said sweetly.

Naruto palmed his face.

"...I regret the day I taught you the Oiroke." He muttered.

"I don't." Sasuke-chan said gleefully, sashaying into the kitchen with the bags of booze and snacks. "Get your room and hurry up. I'll freeze the booze."

"Okay." Naruto took his bag, holding the few meager possessions.

"And Naruto?"

The blond turned, to see Sasuke-chan's face in a cute, quasi-homicidal version of Sasuke's normal pissed off look, the menthol cigarette hanging from her lips.

"You paint my walls orange again and I'll fucking kill you." She growled, before smiling cutely. "So don't, pretty please with a cherry on top? Cleaning up your blood would be so messy." The raven-tressed neo-girl batted her eyelashes.

Naruto shuddered.

He could use his Oiroke form shamelessly and to great effect, but Sasuke took to it all too well for his peace of mind.

"Cut the cutesy act, would you?" The blond said with a grimace. "I'm even more freaked out than usual when you do that."

"Hey, I'm the best at what I do, whatever I do." Sasuke-chan shrugged philosophically. "Genius obliges."

"...Yeah, riiiiiight." Naruto muttered, walking to 'his' room.

He had spent so much time in this place he could navigate it in his sleep, wounded and piss drunk without fail.

He knew that well. He did so more than once.

* * *

"...oh DAMN but I needed that." Naruto wiped his lips after chugging the whole bottle of beer at once. He reached for another, sitting on the windowsill lazily.

"Not half bad." Sasuke, back to his original form, muttered appreciatively, chugging his own beer. "I like the ones from Grass better, though."

"Eh. We can look for it later." Naruto shrugged. "We got time."

"Naruto... we got nothing _but_ time." Sasuke smirked.

"Well, we got-" The blond pointed at Sasuke with his bottle, before he was cut off.

"You know what I mean."

The Uchiha swirled his beer lazily, both of the boys sitting in the companionable silence.

"Which one is it, anywyay?"

Naruto blinked.

"...you weren't keeping count?"

Sasuke looked at the blond.

"Me? I though you did!"

"Fuck no!" Naruto snapped. "You are the one with the eidetic memory and shit!"

"When I turn the Sharingan _on_, you moron!" Sasuke rolled his eyes. "And only to what I can see. It's not exactly that and you know it."

"Ah damn." Naruto sulked. "There goes the anniversary idea..."

"Eh. We're partying anyway." Sasuke shrugged. "So, what have you been working on for that time?"

"Remember that Rashoumon thingy?" Naruto leaned on the windowsill.

"The defensive gate summoning from the snake freak?" Sasuke nodded. "Sure."

"I've been working on a stable half-phase summoning like that, only larger and semi-permanent, without the reserve drain."

Sasuke frowned.

"But as long as the summon stays-"

"Ah, yeah. BUT!" Naruto raised a finger pointedly. "That why it is half-phase. Waste not, want not kind of a deal. And it would be made first, then the ready elements would be put together IN the seal, not sealed whole. It would allow me to summon this thing like Orochimaru does Rashoumon, but without the constant drain. Just a stable array, seal and it lights up. Elements, not the whole thing." Naruto frowned. "Oddly enough, it takes less chakra to summon several medium objects, than one big."

"Huh." Sasuke scratched his chin. "Imagine that. But it is still an inanimate summoning. It requires chakra to stay even more so than a living summon does."

"And HERE is the genius of simplicity, Sasuke." Naruto grinned. "Rashoumon is a defensive/offensive summon-"

"...how the fuck can you use a giant defensive gate offensively?" Sasuke asked with a frown.

"By summoning it on your stupid ass, for one." Naruto said flatly. "Now, before you interrupted me, Rashoumon is made to fight, to resist. Mine won't."

"Then it will fall apart with a bit of chakra thrown at it. Or physical damage." Sasuke shrugged. "Pointless."

"No. Not when you can set it to _accept_ chakra." Naruto grinned.

"You mean it'd drain chakra?" Sasuke asked curiously.

"Drain... no." Naruto frowned thoughtfully. "More like... take it. You know, how you need to either power the summon or give it enough chakra to stay around?" Sasuke nodded. "Then imagine it reacts not only to summoners chakra, but to other sources. Can't set it to simply 'drain' though -not possible."

"...accepting non-summoner chakra... Hard. Very, very hard." Sasuke tapped his fingers on the table.

"Yeah. Why I can't do it." Naruto grimaced. "I'd need a locus. Something with really fucked up chakra-absorption ability up the wazoo, and even then I doubt it'd work."

"Still if it did... Hell. It'd be Rashoumon time's three. Or better."

"Roughly five times stronger. Maybe a little more." Naruto shrugged. "So far it's just a theory. I'm not making it as a defense anyway. It was just a distraction during the construction process anyway."

"If not for defense than what?"

"Oh don't get me wrong. It IS a defense. At its worst, without frills or bells I can, theoretically, put into it, it should be stronger than the Rashoumon by around half. I did use something more solid than simply gates."

Sasuke's eyes widened.

"...don't tell me..." He said slowly.

Naruto nodded, grinning like a loon.

"You're summoning a CASTLE?!" Sasuke said with disbelief. "Naruto, you're INSANE!"

"Not a castle." Naruto corrected. "A manor, at best. Two, three times bigger than the Rashoumon. Maybe. Little less, probably. But yeah. That's the general idea."

"Is summoning something so big even possible?" The dark haired d boy said skeptically. "I mean, chakra aside, this thing would be huge."

"Not as much as you'd think." The jinchuuriki shook his head. "It will be about... well, saw Jiraya's summon?"

"Gamabunta? Yeah."

"The size would be nearly the same. Comparable, anyway."

"Ah." Sasuke frowned. "Can this actually be done?"

"So far I managed to create a wall summoning, and something I call 'bunker summoning'." Naruto took a sip from his beer. "I'll be progressing with size and complexity until I get where I want to. Theoretically? With enough chakra and a solid array, it can be done."

"Summoning this will be a bitch, though." Sasuke grimaced. "I can't get your obsession with summons. Sure, they are nice and all, but..."

"It's because you lack imagination, bastard." Naruto chuckled. "Remind me to re-create the Seisen sometime and then you'll see what I mean."

"Whatever." Sasuke muttered, draining his beer and reaching into his bag for another one, only to blink. "...you've bought chocolate? The true blue Coral country Nugget?" he asked with reverence, withdrawing the large packet.

"Blew all my savings on that. Enjoy."

Sasuke shifted into Sasuke-chan immediately, hugging the chocolate, tears in her eyes.

"Come to mommy!" She cooed, opening the packet and gazing at the large quantities of chocolate within, her grin almost disturbingly hungry.

Within second, abandoning all pretense of dignity, Uchiha Sasuke, currently female, made like a herd of piranha with almost sublime glee.

Chocolate stood no chance against her determined, frenzied assault.

Naruto chuckled, chugging his beer.

* * *

"Temari."

"Hot." Agreed Sasuke. "But a little severe."

"Severe?" Naruto looked at Sasuke with indignation. "Dude... she's only cold and severe on the surface! She's hotter than the Suna desert when you get her going!"

"Feh. Pass." Sasuke shrugged. "Kurenai. Now _that_ is a first class beauty."

"Sure. But she's dating Asuma." Naruto shrugged.

"Meh." Sasuke took a sip of his beer. "Now that is a waste. She can do better."

"Like you?" Naruto grinned.

"I wouldn't say no." Said Sasuke sagely.

"Like you didn't _try_." Naruto chuckled. "I remember _those_ repeats... man, were you sulking...!"

"Ah FUCK you." Sasuke threw a cap at Naruto. "Like you were all Casanova. How many tries did it take for Sakura to even agree on a measly date again?"

Naruto grimaced.

"Please don't remind me." He muttered. "Geez... And it ended with losing virginity to Anko, of all women..." He perked up. "But that was FUCKING awesome!"

"Meh. She's hot but..." Sasuke tapped his temple. "She's got issues."

"Yeah, because we're all that sane." Naruto snorted. "We were poster children for mental fuck up even before this shit, bastard. I dare you to try to say otherwise."

Sasuke shrugged.

"So eloquent." Naruto deadpanned.

"I have no need to prattle endlessly."

"No, you'd rather commit the fucking sin of karaoke instead." The blond muttered with disgust.

"Apropos karaoke..." Sasuke frowned thoughtfully. "When does that bar open?"

"Sometime around 1800'ish."

"Five hours, then." Sasuke frowned thoughtfully. "Up to helping me with the Sharingan?"

"Do it yourself lazy bastard." Naruto reached for another beer. "This is my kickback time. I won't work unless I absolutely have to." He scratched his chin. "Speaking of work, I need to go to that nearby casino and call the roulette or something."

"Well, we can make an evening out of it." He grinned. "The set up?"

"Hell, why not." Naruto shrugged. "Just don't overdo it."

"Wuss." Sasuke smirked, before scowling as he shifted female.

"...I know that scowl..." Naruto backed a step.

"I have absolutely nothing to wear, Naruto!" Sasuke-chan exclaimed.

"Oh fuck NO I ain't taking you shopping you bastard!" The blond said angrily. "You powershop worse than any woman I know! And I hate shopping for clothes for _me_. No way!"

"...speaking of that, you need some clothes that are not like... that." She sniffed with disgust. "Come on."

"Hell NO you freak! Get away from me!"

* * *

"..oooh! This one is just.. so cool!" Sasuke-chan's eyes sparked at the tight black number. "Don't you think it fits me perfectly?"

"...oh please kill me now..." Naruto groaned.

Sasuke-chan frowned.

"Wuss." She sniffed.

"Don't worry, dear. Boyfriends are like that." The older woman, the saleslady, patted her on the shoulder.

Naruto stared at her with utter horror.

"Oh _hell_ no!" He muttered, shuddering. "No, no no..."

"...One more word and I'll stab you." Sasuke-kun said sweetly, twirling a kunai.

"Stab away." Naruto said flatly.

"Feh." Sasuke-chan sniffed. "You're just jealous."

"...yeah. Jealous. Sure." Naruto rolled his eyes. "Why am I friends with you again?"

"For the same reason I'm with you. We didn't have any fucking choice." She said with a smirk.

* * *

"...shiiiiiiny..." Naruto muttered, staring at the assortment of kunai, daggers, darts, kamas, swords and other tools of the fine art of murder.

"Yeah." Sasuke nodded, again male. "This is a close to heaven as it gets." He said reverently.

"Hey. Look." Naruto picked up a long kunai, only more slender, with a longer blade. "Suna dai kunai... Niiiiice stuff. Balance... Hmm..." Naruto frowned, as he noticed a kusarigama. or rather what looked to be a kusarigama. When he walked up, he noticed that it was a long chain that was, at once time, maybe thought as kusarigama, but now didn't look like much of anything.

It looked as if somebody had tried to make a kusarigama, then decided to switch to a chain whip, and then to something that didn't look like anything Naruto had ever seen. And he had seen a lot.

"Now this... is kinda cool." The blond muttered curiously. "What is that supposed to be, I wonder?"

"Not for sale."

Naruto and Sasuke blinked, to see a brown haired girl in a simple silk shirt walking to the register as she wiped her hands off some black substance.

"Yo, Tenten!" Naruto waved. "A groovy chain you got here."

Sasuke nodded to her.

Tenten blinked.

"...do I know you?"

"Yep. Though you propably don't want to. Or wouldn't. Or didn't." Naruto frowned, looking at Sasuke. "What's the correct grammar form for that?"

"Do I look like a linguist?" Uchiha shrugged. "No freaking idea."

"Damn but you're useless." The blond muttered, shaking his head before he turned back to Tenten. "Anyway, I've been wondering about that chain there. I've been here a lot of times and didn't see it before. What's the deal with that thing? It looks damn interesting, whatever it is."

Tenten looked at the duo. The Uchiha she recognized - he came around for kunai sometimes. But the blond she had no idea about, and she had good memory for faces.

"That is not for sale." She insisted. "I don't know how that got here, but if you want a kusarigama..."

"I want to know what it is." Naruto pointed at a chain. "Come on, Tenten?" He whined, his blue eyes large and moist. "Please please please _pleaseeee_?"

Tenten blinked, taking a step back.

The blond suddenly looked so adorable that she had the strongest urge to rub his neck and see if he purred...

'...where had that come from?'

"But it's not for-"

"Please?" He grabbed her hand into both his. "Please, Tenten... Can't you tell me?" He asked warmly. "I'm not asking for that much... now am I?"

"Ah... well..." Tenten said, confused, feeling a brief string of warmth on her cheeks. Sure, it was corny, it was stupid but... he looked so damn sincere... "It is just... A try at a chakra weapon." She sighed sadly. "A failed one..."

"Failed?" Naruto asked curiously. "Oh I wouldn't say so... More like incomplete."

Tenten raised an eyebrow.

"And how would you know?" She said skeptically.

"I know such things." He said with a chuckle.

"He knows because he's a mad scientist wannabe who blew up more attempts at chakra weapons than a whole research division." Sasuke said lazily from his kunai-watching on the side.

"Quiet, philistine!" Naruto snapped. "Those were legitimate scientific experiments!"

"Yeah. Right." Sasuke waved his hand dismissively. "You just like to blow shit up."

"As if a pyro like you have any right to say that."

"Feh. I'm an Uchiha. Fire is in my blood." Sasuke scoffed.

"Want me to test that?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

Sasuke froze for a second, before backing away a step.

"I am _not_ getting involved in your fire experiments. Last time cost me my hair, my shirt and my home!"

"Wuss." Naruto smirked.

"If anybody will torch the Uchiha sector, it will be _me_, get it?" Sasuke glared at Naruto.

"Ah, sorry, sorry. Just a little scientific discussion." Naruto smiled charmingly at Tenten. "So... mind selling me that?"

Tenten blinked owlishly.

"...excuse me?"

"I want to buy it. I'm interested in it."

"But it's good for nothing. It is too heavy for normal a weapon and it doesn't even channel chakra like it should." Tenten said skeptically. "I have several good kusari-"

"I want this one."

"But what for?" She asked with astonishment. "It is useless."

"There is nothing that is really useless." Naruto grinned. "Only things that you didn't find use for yet. So, how about it?"

"It is going to be expensive." Tenten muttered reluctantly. "The materials alone cost a pretty penny. It is all chakra-conductive steel."

"Don't care." Naruto grinned.

"Sure. You don't need to." Sasuke glared. "And I should shell out cash for that thing... why?"

"You so don't want to go there, bastard." Naruto smiled pleasantly.

Sasuke grimaced, turning back to the kunai.

"Whatever." He muttered.

"So, would you sell it to me?" Naruto turned his bright, warm and sunny smile on Tenten.

"Well, if you want to pay for a useless thing..." Tenten nodded slowly. "Just one thing, though..."

"Yes?"

"Mind letting go of my hands?"

* * *

"Why did you want to buy it anyway?" Sasuke muttered peering at the chain in Naruto's hands curiously.

"Why do you have your yo-yo?"

"Ah." Sasuke halted his spinning of the red, Uchiha-crest marked toy. "What happened to 'not working' though?"

"It ain't work. It's fun." Naruto grinned, tapping the long chain in the pack.

Sasuke shrugged, before halting for a second.

Naruto sighed.

"The dangerous predator, the most dangerous of beasts is about to utter its terrifying cry before it attacks." The blond intoned solemnly. "This terrifying, merciless beast's name is...

"Sasuke-kuuuuuun!"

"...the fangirl."

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched and his red yo-yo turned into a crimson blur, cutting the joyful shrill in half as the chakra-enhanced string tied around its target.

Losing her balance, Ino yelped, the ground closing in fast, until a hand caught her an inch from hitting the dusty path with her face.

Sasuke snorted, snapping his beloved yo-yo back.

"Get a life, you fucking underdeveloped little pest." Sasuke scoffed, turning away.

"Hey, hey... bastard." Naruto sighed, letting the shell shocked Ino go. "She ain't that underdeveloped, you know." He raised an eyebrow. "For her age, she ain't all that bad at all."

"Shrill, cutesy, weak, pest of a hanger on." The Uchiha said flatly. "FAIL!"

"That might be just a phase." Naruto shrugged. "Besides, for her age she's quite cute and she's gonna be really hot when she's older."

"Well she isn't now." Pointed out Sasuke as they walked away.

The blond sighed.

"You can't just do that to women, you know." He chided.

"To women, no. To immature little pests? Sure I can." Sasuke said flatly. "Just watch me."

Ino sat on the ground, her eyes wide, mouth hanging open.

"... Sasuke...kun?" She muttered with confusion "...huh?"

* * *

"...I look like an idiot." Naruto muttered, tugging at his new jacket.

"Shut up, you." Sasuke-chan circled him, before nodding. "You look fine."

Naruto glared at his black jacket and loose silk pants.

"...Emo colors only..." He grimaced. "Couldn't you get me something in red, bastard?"

"Black is the universal color, you moron." Sasuke-chan rolled her eyes. "Besides, we had black on when we infiltrated that... whatever it was. You didn't complain then."

"But that was necessary for the mission." He tugged at the silk jacket again. "This is kinda..."

"Oh shut the fuck up and do what you have agreed to without whining for once." She muttered, rolling her eyes.

"Agreed to?" He protested. "You tricked me!"

"That's because you're a moron." She summed up. "Now, shut up and pay the nice lady."

"Yeah, yeah..."

* * *

"So. Clothes, some shuriken, booze, snacks, scrolls, booze, beef, booze, paint, rope, chain, dice, cards in two decks, herbs, cigarettes, chemicals... and some booze." Sasuke counted out. "Seems like it's all here."

"Well, brushes, vials and stuff also wouldn't be bad, but we can use yours." Naruto nodded. "I'd say we're all set. Time?"

"Around seven."

Naruto perked up.

"Bar's open!" He said joyfully. "Onwards, Sasuke!" He turned to the exit.

Sasuke snagged him by the orange collar.

"And where do _you_ think you're going in that?" He asked, lighting a cigarette.

"...fuck." Naruto slumped. "You won't let me weasel out, will you?"

"Promise is a promise, Mr. 'I don't go back on my word'." Sasuke breathed out a cloud of menthol smoke. "Get the fuck dressed, dead last."

"...fuck you, bastard." Naruto grumbled.

* * *

It was a very odd thing to them both on some level.

Because, while they stopped thinking in the terms of their own 'age' a long time ago, the others still did. But they didn't care much about that. Still, the screwed up Oiroke of Naruto's, while not exactly... working right for Sasuke (save his male/female thing) left some lasting effects, if 'only' mental ones.

Like the fact that Naruto sometimes had found it hard from 'growing up' a little when he didn't pay attention. Or rather paid attention too much.

Sasuke was, at times, pissed that Naruto had that option while he had to 'cheat' with genjutsu and assorted technqiues, but if he worried about that, he'd go crazy.

"Ah, The Indigo. Pool until dawn, non-watered drinks, lonely kunoichi hotties, lower prices for ninja and the best roast with onions this side of the Fire Country." Naruto said happily. "The home away form home."

Sasuke nodded, following his friend, halting as a bouncer stopped the blond, only to retract the hand as he saw the hitai ate.

"No fights that can damage the interior. You start it? We chuck you out. You get attacked? You finish it fast, or you call the bouncers. If you can't finish it without damages, you get fined half the cost. And..." He looked at them dubiously. "You look kind of young, but if a lady says she ain't interested, then she _ain't_. If she is, and you've got nowhere to go, ask Makoto for a room in the hotel next door. Also, the gal-"

"-in fishnet and coat is not to be bothered unless she comes over or invites you." Naruto rolled his eyes, following on the well memorized speech "The boss won't pay for your hospital treatment if she cuts you up. Behave and you're welcome to come by anytime. Don't behave and you're out for good." He looked at the surprised bouncer. "That about it?"

The man nodded.

"Have fun. Just don't mix drinks the first time around." He smirked. "You won't like it when I'll have to get you out for vomiting."

Sasuke snorted while Naruto simply nodded.

The two young shinobi walked inside, Naruto hands in his pockets, Sasuke lighting up another menthol cigarette.

The wall of smoke, smell of alcohol, faint whiff of perfume and other assorted bar smells hit them like a wave. Neither Sasuke nor Naruto paused for even a second, instead throwing a quick glance over the patrons as they walked to the barmaid.

"What'll it be, kiddo?" Makoto was taller than most men, short haired and had a rough voice from the old injury, but she was quite nice and friendly. Well, as long as you didn't demolish her bar. As Maito Gai's ex teammate and fellow taijutsu freak, she was not to be underestimated. Every regular knew that pissing her off was a bad idea.

"Jiu for me, Ginju-shu for him." Naruto sat on the barstool. "Any tables free tonight, boss?"

Makoto raised an eyebrow at the ease that both boys showed in the bar. She got her share of freshly minted genin who wanted to try a drink or two and show off their status as adults. It usually ended up sadly, with genin either drinking him or herself into stupor with a glass or two or starting something with a chuunin or even a jounin and getting their sorry assess beat.

Sure, she had bouncers, and she could stop it herself, but this was a ninja bar. The fights rarely lasted long enough for that.

"Some." She nodded. "The one in the corner, by the lamps, another to the side. And one with the candle on."

Sasuke followed her recommendation, stopping at the round table with the candle in the center.

"We'll take it."

Makoto nodded, pouring the cups.

"Pool tables free?" Naruto took the offered drink.

"Nah. Some chuunin got them covered for the next hour or so."

"Eh. We'll wait." The blond shrugged, raising his cup.

Sasuke did the same and they toasted.

Makoto raised an eyebrow as the duo calmly sipped their alcohol with obvious relish.

"Oh HELL yeah..." Naruto sighed. "Beer is good, but jiu's where it's at." He looked at Makoto. "Can we get a bottle each, boss?"

"You got the cash, I got the goods." She smirked, only to stop as the Uchiha put the purse on the table. She raised an eyebrow slowly. "You hit some S-class nins by mistake or what?"

"Not today." Sasuke said, lighting a cigarette while Naruto chuckled.

Makoto sniffed.

"Menthol?" she asked with surprise. "What kind of a man smokes menthol?"

"I do." Sasuke said flatly.

"I tried to convince him but..." Naruto shrugged. "He's an odd duck."

"Menthol?" A nearby chuunin snorted. "Kid, if you wanna smoke so badly, do it like a man. Not like some little sissy."

Sasuke didn't bother looking at the chuunin as he sipped his sake.

"I mean... geez, spare me this shit" The chuunin sneered. Makoto looked at him warningly, but the man was too inebriated to react. "Broads smoke this"

"I'd be more of a man as a woman that you'd ever be as you are." Sasuke said in a bored tone.

"Why you little-!" The man rose from his seat, only slump back with a sudden crack.

Sasuke twirled his yo-yo lazily, before pocketing it.

The chuunin's friend, another chuunin, this time a female, reached to grab Sasuke, only to freeze as she saw a raiton tag in her cleavage.

"I wouldn't if I were you. The consequences might be quite shocking." Naruto said with a grin.

Hana forced her hands to relax.

"Good doggie. And not even too much of a bitch." Naruto got up, patting her cheek. "If she moves too rapidly..." Naruto grinned. "Well, one extra-crispy chuunin." He grinned at Hana's face. "I like the vest, by the way. Nice of you to leave it unzipped so much. Very nice view."

Makoto smirked.

"I'll have a girl with your bottles along in five. Welcome to Indigo, kid."

"...Would somebody mind taking this tag OFF me?!" Hana growled.

"What tag?" Makoto looked at her, before performing a lazy kai.

The astonished chuunin blinked as the note unraveled, leaving behind a Queen of Hearts card.

"Genjutsu, girl." Makoto shook her head. "Honestly... They give chuunin vests to anyone these days."

* * *

TBC...

* * *


	2. Chapter 2

Edited by Skelethin and Yasuhei

Special thanks go to Cornuthaum, Nightelf, Typhonis, Vasey, Yasuhei, MageOhki, Aleh and TFF in general for comments and help. You know who you all are.

* * *

Reload

Chapter 2

* * *

"Don't diss the yo-yo, bitch."

* * *

Twist.

Turn.

"...shiiiiiia-"

The table cracked as the steel whipped large gouges in the wood.

Naruto blinked, looking at the all but massacred pieces of furniture.

"...well shit." The blond muttered curiously, peering at the long chain. "Who woulda thought...?"

"...whuzaaa...?" Came a sleepy voice.

Naruto turned to see a sleepy, obviously hung-over Sasuke-chan in the door.

"...brokesmuthin?" She mumbled. "...where?"

"Just the table." Naruto shrugged.

"Oh." She nodded sleepily, scratching her bare belly.

Naruto sighed.

"...Do I even want to know why you have a loose, bare-belly shirt and silk pants on?" He asked tiredly.

"Comfy." Sasuke-chan said with a yawn, before grabbing the freshly made coffee Naruto made just a few minutes before and chugging it without even swallowing.

Naruto blinked.

"That was hot, you know." He pointed out. "It was boiling just a few minutes ago."

"The pain. The pain." Sasuke-chan deadpanned, before shaking herself more into wakefulness. "...man... what have you done to my table?" She muttered.

There was a brief tremor and Naruto winced.

"...no worse than what I just did to your zen garden."

Sasuke blinked owlishly.

"...dude... you just did NOT blew up my fabulous rock garden." She said, eyebrow twitching. "I specifically put the big fucking seal there as a warning!"

"Ah. So THAT is what blew up." Naruto snapped his fingers. "Good to know."

"You ain't LISTENING!" Sasuke-chan hissed, looming over him. "This garden was the ONLY FUCKING PLACE that Itachi HATED in the whole compound! I kept it fucking pristine! It was my fucking anti-weasel oasis! I could reach my Itachi-hate zen there! And you just blew it fuck UP?!"

"Feh. You're whining like an old hag. Get over it." Naruto sniffed.

"Old hag? OLD HAG?!" Sasuke growled, pulling down her top. "Do THOSE look 'OLD HAG' to YOU?! HUH?!"

"...get away from me, you bastard!" Naruto snapped.

"Correct form's a bitch when I'm like this." Sasuke-chan sniffed. "How many times do I have to tell you?"

"I'm not catering to your fucking delusions." Naruto snorted. "And stop flashing me, you freak." He blinked. "Didn't you hate being called a bitch?"

"I hate being called a skank." Sasuke-chan shrugged. "But I can be a first class bitch."

"Yep." Naruto started nodding, before he caught himself. "...son of a-!"

Sasuke-chan smirked, lighting a menthol cigarette.

"Point for me." She said smugly.

"...freak."

* * *

"So, what's on the agenda?" Sasuke, in his male form again, lazed on the roof, while Naruto worked on a large scroll below.

"Well, I think we can swing by the Coral, like we talked about."

"Coral?" Sasuke perked up. "That's near-"

"Yeah, yeah... We can get your little fucking toy as well."

"Cool." The Uchiha relaxed, puffing on his cigarette. "Why Coral, though?"

"Because from what I remember, it will have that little fucking twerp Hideki. I intend to clean this fucker out for every penny he has." Naruto smiled evilly. "Siccing his daddy on me, would he? He may be the daimyo's son, but _no one_ fucks me over!"

"Man... he doesn't remember that. Fuck, technically it ain't _happened!_" Sasuke sighed. "Give it a rest."

"Screw that. Let him explain to his daddy why he lost everything he had and ended up in debt." Naruto growled. "He gets on my nerves anyway. Don't complain - you get to play."

Sasuke blinked.

"I do?"

"You do."

"...Heh... heh heh heh..." Sasuke grinned nastily, shifting to female. "OHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"

Naruto cringed.

Sasuke loved his, hers... whatever, 'queen bitch' laugh far too much.

"Shut the FUCK up you freak!" The blond snapped. "I'm trying to work here!"

Sasuke glared, Sharingan spinning.

"Don't interrupt me when I'm in my happy place!" She hissed venomously.

* * *

"So, we've got the summoning..." The jinchuuriki closed the scroll, placing it on the pedestal. "Now..."

With a single seal, over twenty clones appeared.

"You know the drill, guys." He threw a small scroll each. "Seal up. Self release in case of any changes. One gets unsealed every shift. Self dispel about the same. You see the change on the seal, summon."

The clones nodded, reaching for the brushes he left behind and starting to craft the simple containment arrays.

He never cracked the Hiraishin, though not for the lack of trying. But summoning himself? Oh yeah. He could do that. The scroll was huge and without Kage Bunshin helping with the drawing it would take at least several days to create. Not to mention he sincerely doubted anyone save himself, or maybe the Hokage would be able to use it. It required enough chakra to kill any normal jounin immediately simply via chakra exhaustion.

'...fuck. I still don't get how could Yondy get over that limitation...'

His clones would monitor the scroll and after a signal, yank him and Sasuke back via previously prepared sequence.

It cost enough power to make even him tired, but was worth it.

'Pity I can't simply mark places and go to them. Those scrolls are bitch and a half.' He grimaced.

"Yo, bastard." He looked up to Sasuke, who was playing with his yo-yo. "You up to buying us a ship?"

The Uchiha threw him a long, suffering stare.

"Can't you simply build us one?" he grumbled.

"I could, but for one, it would take time, for two, it would require a thousand clones working AT the place. I can't send them so far, without sealing them first. They fade over a distance longer the kilometer."

And that was a real pain in the ass.

Since he had such huge chakra reserves and the Kyuubi, he could cheat by simply sealing them in the scrolls and having them unseal each other over time, since the fading process was gradual. Still, that shit was tiresome as hell.

"...and yet another boat I'm buying that you'll end up blowing the fuck apart." Sasuke sighed, jumping down and pocketing his yo-yo.

"You want to be there in three days or two weeks?" Naruto said pleasantly.

"Yeah, yeah... I still say we need to get something that flies one of these days."

"Well go and steal Doto's airship, then." Naruto said sourly. "I'll wait for you."

"Who said anything about stealing." Sasuke shrugged. "Build one, oh great scientist."

"The fact that I have no freaking idea how aside, I don't have time, materials or humongous amount of cash, tools and resources for that and..." he halted, his eyes unfocused.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Next time around we're going to Snow country." The blond said finally.

"Stealing the airship?" Sasuke asked with interest.

"No. You reminded me of something. One of their chakra armor units has a functional glider built into it. I want to see how it works."

"There was also this Deidara guy... doesn't he use some kind of clay... thing to fly?"

"Yeah. Mechanics of that escape me, but I can look into it." Naruto nodded. "But that's for later. Go and buy us that fuckin' ship. I'll join you later on. I need to have a thing or two bought."

Sasuke nodded, vanishing in the swirl of Shunshin.

A second later, a clone appeared in front of Naruto, a scroll in his palm.

"That was quick. Complete?"

The clone shrugged, dispelling itself.

Naruto blinked as the info hit him.

"...oh yeah..." he chuckled, putting the scroll into one of his pouches. It would make the travel quick, if incredibly hard on the ship. "Eh. I'll need to seal it together anyway. Or it'll fucking break apart."

It was a pity Konoha wasn't closer to some port. He'd just do like the last time and use a thousand clones to build himself a ship.

"Well, no sense in stalling, hmm?" He looked at the chain he had hauled from the kitchen.

The weapon, for that was what it was, was incredibly interesting. Tenten just wanted to create a more responsive, more resilient weapon by allowing it to channel chakra easily. Only instead of making it channel as one, she made each link channel on its own. While it SHOULD be a failure, since each piece had channeled a little less power than the last, bleeding it off until lost its potency halfway through flowing through the weapon - well, unless you overpowered it to the freakish degree Naruto could. But Tenten was a blacksmith, while Naruto was a seal master. Where she saw a failure, Naruto saw promise.

A huge promise.

He had spent a whole morning tweaking each link with a simple, if effective seal, burned with home-made acid straight into the metal and later blood-marked.

If he was right...

He grabbed the long chain.

"Well, let's see..." He channeled a bit of energy through the chain.

A blond eyebrow rose up.

"...Nothing?"

He increased chakra.

Then again.

And again.

His eyebrow twitched.

"...Okay, now I'm starting to get a little-" he blinked as the weapon fell apart in his hands. "Well fuck."

The blond sighed forlornly, turning to the exit.

"Back to the drawing bo...ard?" he stopped, hearing a faint jingle.

He moved his body.

Nothing.

He moved his hands.

"...and here it is..." The jinchuuriki muttered hearing the metallic sound again. "What the hell?"

He raised his hands slowly, only to notice a faint tug on his fingers, forearms and elbows. His eyes widened.

"...oh you're SHITTING me!"

The blond turned to see the pieces of the chain follow the movement of his fingers, arms and hands in general.

"...oh my..." Naruto breathed. "Now this... this might have... potential." He grinned.

* * *

The blond was humming happily, his new toy slung over the torso diagonally.

The thing was bloody awesome once he started to understand just what it could do. He couldn't wait to see the envy on the bastard's face - Sasuke would be crying that he didn't notice the weapon earlier, and Naruto just found the awesome alternative to the stabby things Sasuke loved so much.

"Him and his fucking sword... bah." Naruto snorted. "Who needs that thing?"

Still, the thing was wicked cool. With emphasis on wicked.

'Well now I have my own toy. Heh heh.' The jinchuuriki grinned. 'When Sasuke sees it...'

He halted, frowning.

'...what is she-'

"Uzumaki."

Naruto sighed at the severe tone.

'...Geez...'

"What do you want, Ino?" He turned to her.

"What I want to know is what have you done to Sasuke-kun!" She snapped angrily.

"...me?" He blinked. "What the hell are you-"

"Don't lie to me, idiot!" She growled. "I saw that... that..." She scowled. "What did you do to him, dead last? When forehead girl told me that he used that... stuff. I didn't believe her but the way he's acting it is OBVIOUS he's not okay!" She grabbed his by the lapels. "What have you done to my Sasuke-kun, dead last?!"

Naruto blinked owlishly.

"...Uh, I have no idea-"

"I saw him henge into a girl! A GIRL!" She snapped. "And I saw how she... he... aaarrggh! Whatever! This is YOUR jutsu! You think I don't know?! What is that? Some stupid BET or something?! I demand you release him at once and-mmmppphh!"

Ino froze as Naruto's lips met her own.

The other blond grabbed her roughly, his hand sliding down her spine in a way that left the girl suddenly shuddering as a wave of warmth hit her.

She moaned, opening her lips, only to have their kiss grow hotter and more involved with each passing second. Ino didn't even notice when he stopped holding her and SHE instead started holding him. Drawing him in with almost savage need as she grabbed his hair, kissing him wildly. Her leg slid over his outer tight and...

Ino blinked as Naruto let her go and she slid down, kneeling dazedly.

"...whaaa?" She muttered, flushed and trembling slightly from the sudden lack of warmth her impormptu kissing partner's body provided.

"Yep. Still shuts you up as good as always." Naruto nodded with satisfaction. "Toodles, Ino-chan."

The blonde sat on the path, blinking owlishly.

"...huh?"

* * *

"So she ain't here?"

The older man shook his head.

"She left for some sort of training with her team." Kazuya explained. "Is something the matter?" He eyed the chain over Naruto's arm.

"I just wanted to show her something." Naruto tapped the chain.

"You actually bought this?" The old man said with interest. "It is fairly useless for its price."

"Is it?" Naruto smiled faintly and the older man's eyes widened as several of the links seemed to 'break away' from the weapon.

"...Well now this wasn't in the original design..." he muttered with surprise.

Naruto grinned.

"So, where can I find her?"

* * *

Naruto winced at the familiar smell of menthol.

"Aren't you supposed to be buying us a fucking ship, bastard?" He said with irritation.

"Already did." Sasuke said lazily, twirling his yo-yo. "An agent here in Konoha had a nice boat for sale. Little big but we should be okay with Kage Bunshin."

"Oh." the blond blinked. "Wait... you mean we could have bought a boat HERE instead of haggling THERE each time and we didn't know it?!"

Sasuke shrugged.

"...oh this is SO fucking unfair..." Naruto muttered.

"Well at least we know now." He looked at Naruto. "I met the blonde pest sitting on the side of the road. What did you do to her?" He asked with interest. If Naruto had good fangirl-stunning jutsu...

"Remember that thing Anko did to me the second time?" Naruto smirked.

"The 'welcome back' kiss, with groping and all?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Well, that was as close to sex as it got without penetration and with the clothes on." He blinked. "...you didn't."

Naruto grinned.

"You did." Sasuke sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"And I even pressed a nice set of near-orgasm points. She's a nice quivering mass of raw nerves now. Heh." The blond whistled cheerfully.

"She's a _pest!_ Why the hell do you even bother?"

"Well unlike you I tend to be a gentleman." Naruto sniffed.

"...says the guy who threw a naked kunoichi in the pile of nettles after tattooing her ass, back and breasts. Without painkillers."

"She deserved it." Naruto shrugged. "Besides, it was a nice tattoo."

Sasuke nodded.

"And the one in front was cool." He smirked. "She couldn't wear the bra for so long..."

"See? All kinds of benefits." Naruto said pleasantly.

Sasuke popped his cigarette in his mouth, lighting it with a snap of his fingers.

"So, the hell we're waiting for?"

"I need to show something to Tenten." Naruto smirked. "I finally figured how this thing works." He frowned. "And dude... this is the freaking last time I tweak with something while drunk. I never know just what the hell I did afterwards."

"You say that every damn time." Sasuke rolled his eyes. "So, what the does this thing do?"

"Wait and see. We're here." He pointed out.

"...oh gods. Not HIM." Sasuke shuddered, looking at Gai, who was hugging Lee and ranting about 'flames of youth'. "This guy creeps me out."

"Hey, you spent some fifteen-odd repeats learning taijutsu from him." Naruto pointed out. "If anything, you should be inoculated to this stuff."

"Are you kidding?" Sasuke glared at him. "The exposure only made it WORSE!"

"Wuss."

"Spend some time learning from him and THEN we'll see." The Uchiha scion scowled only to halt and pale. "On the other hand, don't. Please. Just don't."

They were crazy as it was. The world didn't need a second Maito Gai clone around, especially one with Naruto's mind, volatile nature and determination.

"Yo, Tenten!" Naruto waved enthusiastically.

The girl stopped trying to plant a handful of kunai in Neji's chest and blinked, looking at the waving blond.

"Oh. Hey Naruto." she looked at the chain and winced slightly. 'He's probably here to give it back... _damn!_'

Neji frowned, looking at the duo. The last Uchiha he, of course, recognized at once. The other escaped him until he heard the name.

'Ah. Uzumaki Naruto, the loser from the year below us.' He scoffed.

Why would Tenten associate herself with such trash was beyond him.

"Sorry, we're training and-" Tenten started, only to blink as she felt Gai's hand on her shoulder.

"And you must be the youthful students of my esteemed rival!" He said, looking at the two oddly. "I must say, I am surprised!"

Naruto blinked, while Sasuke scowled.

"What brings you here, my youthful comrades?"

Naruto looked at Gai.

To be honest, even after so many repeats, he couldn't figure the man out. On one hand, he was nuts. His enthusiasm or his dedication weren't faked in the least. He appeared to be over enthusiastic, corny, outlandish and over the top moron he looked like, but...

There were moments when something flashed through that 'garish moron's' eyes. Something both deep and unsettling. All nins had a darker side but... it wasn't it. Gai freaked him out. The man was far from stupid and almost absurdly observant in some ways.

And now he was giving them far too odd look to be considered just idle curiosity.

"I heard my esteemed rival was harsh with his two cute pupils." He nodded sadly. "Suspension... But worry NOT!" the man took his infamous 'nice guy' pose. "Tis a tough love, but love none the less! One must be harsh at times to show true kindness! This is the compassion of the master! Do not despair, young comrades! Under those strenuous conditions, your youth will bloom like the grass breaking old concrete! So much stronger! So much more youthful!"

"Gai-sensei!" Lee said, tears in his eyes. "You are an inspiration to us all!"

Naruto backed up a step, while Sasuke nervously reached into his pocket for another cigarette.

"...how SAD!" Gai's eyes shone. "HOW SAD! Your sensei's harsh lesson drove you into the clutches of the un-youthful addiction!" Tears appeared in the older man's eyes. "But fear not, the youthful students of my rival! I, Maito Gai, the magnificent Green Beast of Konoha, shall stand with you in your hour of trial!" He smiled widely. "You are not abandoned! I will help you to rekindle that great burning spirit of your youth inside your youthful SOULS!" His eyes blazed.

"...huh?" Naruto blinked.

Sasuke piched the bridge of his nose.

* * *

"Remember, taijutsu only! And Lee, my cute student, remember that it is only sparring!"

"Yes, Gai-sensei!" the mini-Gai nodded enthusiastically, taking a standard Gouken stance in front of Naruto. "Whenever you're ready, Naruto-san!"

"...why am I doing this again...?" The blond muttered with irritation.

"Because if you don't, he won't shut up and will keep hounding is for a week." Sasuke said flatly. "Just kick his ass and we can get the fuck out of here before he gets more of his... ideas." The Uchiha heir shuddered.

Neji raised an eyebrow.

"Do not give him false hope, Uchiha. His fate is that of a loser."

"NEJI!" Tenten snapped.

"About the only loser I see here is you, Hyuuga." Sasuke said with a bored tone, twirling his yo-yo up and down lazily.

Neji snorted.

"Big words for somebody who can't let go of foolish toys."

Neji's eyes widened, before chakra exploded.

Tenten blinked in astonishment.

'...that's the Kaiten! But why would Neji-?'

Sasuke yanked back the yo-yo, raising an eyebrow.

"Surprised, Uchiha?" Neji sneered. "This is the Hyuuga Clan's power. The ultimate defense of Kaiten, backed by the eyes superior to any dojutsu in the world." He smirked. "Those eyes see every-"

The kaiten erupted again as yo-yo blurred.

Neji frowned, spinning.

'Fool. I see his every attack. What is he trying to accomplish?'

Sasuke twisted his wrist calmly, letting the yo-yo twist and turn, hitting kaiton from several angles time after time in a red blur, repelled by the chakra barrier.

Time and time again, the red toy was repelled.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, snapping his hand rapidly.

"Sasuke-san, Neji's defense is-" Tenten's eyes widened as the blur of chakra thinned, vanishing.

For a moment, there was a brief triumph on Neji's face, before a loud snapping sound resounded in the air. Neji's eyes bulged and the Hyuuga genius squeaked and slumped as Sasuke calmly snapped his yo-yo back.

Neji's eyes teared up, a faint whimper making out of his lips.

Tenten and Gai stared at the defeated genius with sheer disbelief.

"This is a yo-yo." Sasuke deadpanned at the Hyuuga, who was clutching his groin and whimpering in agony. "Bitch."

There was a loud crash and Gai and Tenten blinked, seeing Lee's silhouette swinging by them with a loud scream. His leg was held by the kusarigama, only to be yanked up and then down again by Naruto who was standing on one of the taller trees and swinging his chain. Judging by the fact that Lee looked greener than his jumpsuit, it was far from the first turn.

"You give?" Naruto called to the spandex-clad boy.

"N-N...ever!" Lee shouted back heroically.

"Suit yourself." Naruto shrugged, channeling a little bit of chakra into the chain and snapping it upwards, releasing the young taijutsu user.

Needless to say, with the velocity and rapid nature of the move, as well as Lee being rather sick after the mad swinging that Naruto had been subjecting him to, Lee's landing was far from graceful or painless.

Even Gai winced as Lee broke a tree, falling through the branches with a dull thud.

Naruto raised an eyebrow looking at his chain.

"...you know what, I think I'm beginning to get your fascination with that yo-yo of yours..." He muttered to Sasuke walking up to the group. "Something wrong?"

Tenten just pointed at Neji.

Naruto's eyebrow shot up as he looked the whimpering mass of pain that used to be a proud Hyuuga prodigy some yo-yo KO before.

Naruto looked at Sasuke, who shrugged, snapping yo-yo up to his palm.

"You just absolutely had to do it, didn't you?" Naruto scowled. "This your fucking time of the month or something?"

* * *

Tenten walked into her home in a slight daze. While seeing Neji... well, owned so casually was beyond surprising, the chain was something else.

'...how?'

The weapon was useless. It was supposed to be able to detach, true, but... Nowhere near this level of complexity. Naruto just had shown her the basics - she was far from stupid. And yet she didn't understand what had been done to that chain. In a span of... what, a day?

"Interesting friends you make, Tenten."

The young weapon mistress yelped, before calming down.

"GRAMPS!" She growled. "Kami... Would you STOP doing that please?!"

The old man chuckled.

"Now what kind of fun would be that?"

Tenten gritted her teeth. It was pointless. He had been this way since she could remember.

"How has your training gone?"

"It didn't." Tenten sighed, putting her weapons away. "Or rather it ended with both Lee and Neji in the hospital."

"So, young Rock managed to score some hits on the infamous Hyuuga pride?" The old blacksmith smirked. "Good for him."

"Actually, Lee got manhandled by the very chain I sold Naruto yesterday. Neji..." Tenten didn't know if to wince or to smirk. "Well, let's just say that he'll be singing soprano for some time."

Kazuya chuckled.

"Couldn't happen to a better person."

"Gramps! Don't say that! He's my team-mate." Tenten snapped. "...even if it IS technically true..."

The old blacksmith chuckled, before frowning thoughtfully.

"We had a most interesting visit from one of our patrons today. Yes... Most interesting visit." Kazuya nodded. "Have you seen your chakra kusari-gama lately?"

"The one I sold to Naruto? Yes." She nodded. "I saw what he had done with it. Not only had he got it to channel properly but that string thing and disconnection..." Tenten shook her head. "I never even thought that was possible."

"Oh it isn't." Kazuya sat by the table, lifting a pipe with a thoughtful look. "Not unless the weapon had been helped along by an accomplished fuuin master.

Tenten's eyes widened.

"...master? But..."

"I wonder... who could have helped that boy...?" Kazuya frowned. "Those kinds of seals... Jiraya-sama? Hmm..."

"Actually... Naruto didn't mention any help..." Tenten said slowly.

Kazuya blinked, before frowning.

"Tenten... I find that hard to believe. This kind of work isn't something a novice can do, no matter how talented. One would need to know his craft, be taught it for years. For a freshly minted genin to be taught it since..." He trailed off, his eyes widening.

"Gramps?" Tenten asked tentatively. "Grandpa?"

"...I should have known. Of course, it _does_ make sense..." Kazuya mumbled, almost biting his pipe. "That old monkey...! Heh."

"...I have no freaking idea what you're talking about, gramps." The girl muttered flatly.

Kazuya looked up, a spark of almost uncanny excitement in his eye.

"Tenten, what can you tell me about this Uzumaki Naruto?"

* * *

"So which port are we talking about? The northern or the-"

"Neither of them, actually." Sasuke pointed at the map. "Little to the south of Konoha there is a small, midland fisher bay with a river. I told them to get the boat there. From there we can navigate easily to the open sea."

"Not bad. Saves us a few hours of travel, at the least." Naruto scratched his chin thoughtfully. "From there on we can go to the shores of Sunflower Island."

"Going around Kiri would be faster." Sasuke grumbled.

"Yeah, and either get attacked by pirates, crash on one of the reefs or get jumped by Kiri nins. Especially with you on board." Naruto rolled his eyes. "Excellent idea. Just freaking genius right here."

"Feh. I can take them." The Uchiha sneered, taking a drag from his cigarette.

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever. This is my vacation time. Fighting can wait." He rolled the map. "So let's grab the stuff and get the hell out of here. Road-trip time."

"Well there is one small problem with that." Sasuke frowned thoughtfully. "We kind of can't."

Naruto halted, turning to Sasuke.

"...what did you just say?" He asked in a dangerous tone.

"Hey, you're the one who wanted it to be squeaky legal clean." Sasuke shrugged. "As suspended nin, we need the papers signed by our commanding officer to leave the village."

Naruto slumped.

"...oh hell..."

"Why are you so damn concerned about the legalese anyway." Sasuke frowned. "Let's just grab our stuff and go. They're gonna give us... what, a C-class rating? At best. That's like saying 'come back whenever you want to'."

"I want it to be squeaky clean and LEGAL because there is a nice little festival in Wind's capital three weeks from now. One that happens every ten years, lasts for a week. Free booze. Free food. And ladies get free reign. Now Suna is allied with Konoha - the very moment we get there as missing-nin..." Naruto snapped his fingers. "They get us like that. Infiltrate one city I can. Drink, whore and have a good time for a week straight as a wanted man under the nose of the ANBU that will be swarming that city I can't."

"Ah." Sasuke nodded. "I was almost afraid you became all law-abiding all of a sudden."

Naruto threw Sasuke a withering look.

"Don't insult me, bastard."

* * *

"...son of a bitch!"

Sasuke blinked.

"Gone! Gone, that apathetic fuckin'...!" Naruto snarled, kicking at the wall.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow, noticing the indentation.

"Chill, moron." He said calmly, despite his own irritation. "What do you mean 'gone'?"

"His neighbor said that he asked her to water his plant and said he'll be back in a week." Naruto said darkly. "Wasn't he supposed to have no life?"

"Well, that would explain why he didn't bug us more..." Sasuke said thoughtfully.

"I'm not waiting for that fucking copycat." Naruto seethed. "I want a road-trip!"

"Geez, we can get wasted and whore around in Konoha, you know." Pointed out The Uchiha scion. "And there are plenty of lonely hotties around."

"But Coral has the Ramen Festival. Konoha DOESN'T." Naruto snapped angrily.

Sasuke snorted.

"This explains so much."

"Shut up! This is serious!" Naruto turned on his heel.

"Where are you going?" Sasuke blinked.

"To the Hokage."

"...you want to petition Hokage for a road-trip?"

"Yes."

"That's kind of overkill."

Naruto glared at his friend.

"When it comes to quality ramen there is no such THING as overkill!"

"...and you call me disturbing." Sasuke muttered. "As if the Hokage is going give you a permission to leave the village to gorge on twenty different kinds of ramen.

"Not twenty but seventy six." Naruto sniffed haughtily. "Follow my lead, and it's going to be okay."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Oh ye of little faith." Naruto sighed and patted Sasuke's back. "Trust me. I know what I'm doing."

* * *

Sandaime Hokage blinked owlishly.

"You want me to revoke the orders of your jounin sensei to do... _what?_"

"Promote interpersonal relations and tactical cooperation of the elements of Team 7 by the recreational bonding experience." Sasuke said seriously.

Naruto nodded solemnly.

"We decided that our lack of cooperation and personal animosities can prove a danger to the cohesive nature of the team." He said gravely. "After our last brain-storming session helped along by the experienced council of older shinobi in the informal setting, we decided that the lack of teamwork would prove fatal to any future endeavors of team 7."

"Would that informal setting be perchance the Indigo bar, assisted by stimulants in the liquid form?" The Sandaime raised an eyebrow, his tone mildly sarcastic.

"Hokage's wisdom is astonishing." Naruto nodded seriously, followed by Sasuke.

"Yes. It is indeed the true treasure of experience for us, young genin." The Uchiha said solemnly. "As Hokage-sama would surely understand that in the spirit of the Konoha cooperative values, we want to request a permission to leave the village for such bonding exercise. To promote teamwork values, of course."

Sarutobi didn't know if to laugh, scowl or simply stare at the audacity of the two young pups in front of him.

Not only did they trick the secretary into coming here, but that they could say something like this with the straight face...

Still...

"And how would this... bonding tactical exercise go?"

Sasuke coughed.

"We have managed to secure a boat in an excellent condition, ready to set sail the moment we enter. We would proceed to Coral country, to use the tropical climate and relaxed atmosphere to settle our differences and work out a teamwork pattern that is satisfying to us both."

"I see..." The Sandaime frowned thoughtfully, lighting his pipe.

While he was rather loathe to let either one of them out of the village...

A paper caught his eye.

'Hmm... This just might be useful...'

"And why there is no mention or your third team-mate, or your commanding officer?" He raised an eyebrow with amusement. "If it is to be a team building experience..."

"Kakashi-sensei is not available at this point." Sasuke pointed out. "And both of us have... satisfactory relations with our remaining team-mate."

"Oh is that so. Unavailable, you say. Hmm... Yes." Hokage muttered. "I remember him informing me of two week leave for some private matters." He tapped his desk. "But then, you two were suspended for a reason. Unprofessional conduct unbefitting of Konoha shinobi, I believe?" Sandaime leaned forward. "In light of that kind of circumstances, I am rather... leery of letting you go."

The both boys kept their faces impassive, but Sarutobi could notice the slight tensing of their shoulders.

He chuckled inwardly.

'Not today, boys. This old dog has plenty of tricks left in him.'

"However... I think we might work something out." He smiled faintly. "I have an assignment from the daimyo of Coral country, a simple search and retrieval mission. However, it would require the shinobi assigned to it to travel from one island to another on a possible goose chase. I was thinking of rejecting it, despite the status of the request. Now you mentioned that young Uchiha had bought a sailing boat, hmm?"

Sasuke and Naruto nodded warily.

"I have a deal for you, gentlemen." Sarutobi said pleasantly. "You act as the chartered boat for the duration of the mission and I let you out of the village to have your... teamwork exercise." He smiled. "I might even drop the demerit from your pay and add it as the official mission to your files."

* * *

"Hey... she's niiiiice." Naruto breathed, looking at the sleek, honey-brown boat. "How much did she cost you?"

"More than I want to remember." Sasuke shook his head. "You better win big, dobe."

"No sweat. If anything, with this beauty we can go to Coral, then to Moon and back if we're feeling particularly greedy." He smirked, tapping the boat's side. "Sexy little thing, aren't you? Mmm! Oh yeah. I'm gonna ride you fast and _hard_."

"Not too hard." Sasuke scowled. "I want her to last. You are NOT tinkering with her."

"But-!" Naruto protested.

"No. She's cool. She's sleek. She's NICE. And she STAYS that way. Get me?" The raven haired teenager growled.

"...coward." Naruto muttered. "But you'd understand the need, baby, right? The need for speed? Mmm?" He nuzzled the wood. "Yes you would, yes you would!"

"And you call me a freak?" Sasuke smirked, shielding his eyes from the sun as he looked at the sky. "Hmm..."

He grabbed his bags, walking into the cabin.

"Hey, she's even got a kitchen!"

Naruto blinked, walking on deck and looking it over curiously.

"You're kidding."

"Nope. Fully stacked too. She's like a home!"

"And a luxurious one, at that." Naruto muttered, inspecting the wood and the quality of the varnish.

Everything was simple, but excellently made. No sign of opulence anywhere - just solid craftsmanship.

"Sweeet." He muttered, throwing his stuff in the cabin. "She even has small separate rooms. Nice piece of a boat. Covered control room, too." He walked out, shedding his jacket. It was hot as hell as it was. "Well, that mission might not be so..." His eyes widened.

"...oh shit..."

Sasuke walked up from the cabin, a white t-shirt instead of his usual blue bell-collar shirt on.

"What is-" he blinked. "...hey, isn't that...?"

"Yep." Naruto nodded.

"And didn't you...?"

"Yep."

"Permission to come aboa...rd...?" Inuzuka Hana trailed off looking at the blond mop of hair.

Then down at the face.

"Well would you look at _that_..." Hana purred with a decidedly predatory grin.

* * *

Hana blinked as she saw the gaggle of blue-clad (you are NOT wearing that shit!) clones moved around the ship, unfastening the mooring lines, setting sail and working about every little detail in complete silence and without missing a step.

"It amazes me every time I see it."

She turned to the side with a surprise, only to see a young, raven-haired woman in what was probably one of the skimpiest bikinis ever.

Aside from a loose jacket and pair of round sunglasses, she had nothing else on and Hana could see that yes, the girl had gorgeous figure models would kill for.

Only...

She sniffed, her eyes widening. The smell was similar, if female and...

"...Uchiha...?" She muttered with disbelief. "What the...?!"

"Getting a tan." The neo-girl shrugged, grabbing a white mattress and unrolling it on an upper deck. "The sun's great. Shame to waste it." Sasuke-chan peered over her sunglasses. "Don't worry, the dobe has everything in hand."

"...not that but..." Hana muttered, eying the large, though not huge and quite perky breasts.

"Oh. Those? Cool, ain't they?" Sasuke smirked "Wanna see?" She leaned forward.

"...huh?" Hana blinked, before taking a step back. "No, no...! I mean... I don't need to!"

"Suit yourself. Wanna join me?" She pointed at the deck. "It's a few days till we reach Coral. Getting some sun wouldn't hurt."

"...ah. No. thanks. I... don't have a bathing suit." Hana shook her head slowly.

"That?" Sasuke shrugged. "That's just for port. Naruto would have a fit otherwise. Once we are on the open sea I can do it properly."

Hana blinked owlishly.

"...you mean...?"

"Girl, you expect me to waste this gorgeous body with some tan lines?" Sasuke-chan sniffed. "Please."

"...oh. Right." Hana nodded slowly. "I think I'll... join Uzumaki by the controls."

"Whatever floats your boat." Sasuke-chan sat on the mattress. "Ah. Before you go, could you rub the oil on my back?" She pouted. "There is no Naruto clone around when he's needed. So like a man."

* * *

Hana entered the small room with a steering wheel, only to blink at Naruto who was sitting comfortably on the chair by the steering wheel, putting some tobacco into a brown pipe.

Which wouldn't be all that surprising, if not for the fact he had somehow managed to get his hands on an actual captain's jacket, with shiny buttons and all. It was unbuttoned, resting on his shoulders like a coat. Hana was surprised to find that it actually looked good on him, giving him kind of sophisticated roguish appeal.

In front of Naruto there was a clone, also in blue.

"...the sails are in perfect conditions, the ship is fully capable of leaving the dock on your command, captain."

"Very well, Mr. Uzumaki," Naruto nodded gravely, putting the pipe in between his teeth and making two lazy seals. A small arc of electricity started jumping back and forth in between his fingers and he used it to light the tobacco. "My sincere congratulations to the mechanic Uzumaki and first mate Uzumaki. Splendid job as well, Mr. Uzumaki."

The clone preened, standing at attention.

"Thank you sir!" It hesitated. "Sir..."

"Spit it out, Mr. Uzumaki! I don't have all day." Naruto snapped gruffly, puffing his pipe.

"Umm... it is... Sasuke-chan... sir." He swallowed. "The crew tried standard operating procedure of 'avoid the bikini' but... We seem to have failed."

"...good gods!" Naruto mumbled, paling. "Who could have allowed such thing to happen, number one?!"

"The investigation is underway, but so far we... don't know." The clone swallowed. "Shall we stop her?"

"Not 'her', number one! We are _not_ catering to the bastard's delusions!"

Two clones behind the 'number one' look at each other.

"...but she's kind of hot, you know." Shyly pointed out one.

"Yep." The other nodded. "Crazy as all get out, but you can't argue with knockers like these."

"Mr. Uzumaki, Mr. Uzumaki!" Thundered Naruto. "I shall NOT have this... this... MUTINY within my subconscious! I don't care if she is prime grade S hotness of her awesome majesty Mitarashi Anko herself!"

All clones lowered their heads in reverence.

"For she is the true babe." They mumbled in unison.

"Yes, yes she is." Naruto nodded sagely. "But I do not care in this deviant's case! We do NOT cater to the bastard's delusions!" He halted frowning. "Though off the record, Mr. Uzumaki, she IS a seriously hot piece of eye candy." He muttered thoughtfully.

"Aye, captain." Number One smirked.

"Please inform the first mate Uzumaki that we are setting sail immediately. There is no sense in waiting."

"Aye sir. The course?" The clone raised an eyebrow.

"We are setting sail for Coral Island, Mr. Uzumaki."

The clone nodded.

"Aye, aye, sir. Coral Island."

The clone coughed, making several seals.

"Attention, all hands! Attention all hands!" Hana winced at the sudden thunderous quality of the voice.

'...some kind of sound jutsu?'

"The ship is setting sail immediately. The crew is expected to perform it's duties and not leave their assigned stations. The guests are reminded not to trouble the crew for the duration of the procedure. And the crew is NOT supposed to eat RAMEN instead of working!" The 'Number One' glared at the fore of the boat. "Yes, I am talking to YOU, sailor!"

One of the clones put away a steaming bow of cup ramen sheepishly.

There was a brief stint of furious activity on the deck, until it became more sedate. The 'Number One' turned to Naruto.

"Captain, the 'Enterprise' is ready to set sail on your command." The clone said formally.

Naruto smiled faintly, puffing on his pipe.

"Make it so, Number One."

Hana just stared as the clones unrolled the sails.

"Mr. Uzumaki, instruct the crew to prepare the sails for Daitoppa the very moment we are out of the bay. When we hit the open sea, please release the Furou scrolls at medium capacity."

"Aye, captain."

Hana's eyes widened.

Who in their right mind used an A-rank jutsu to propel a ship?

Scratch that, who the HELL named a jutsu 'rough seas' and what did it do?!

'I have a bad feeling about this...'

* * *

TBC...

* * *

Glossary:

Furou – lit. 'rough seas'


	3. Chapter 3

Edited by Skelethin and Ceyx0991.

Special thanks go to Cornuthaum, Nightelf, Typhonis, Vasey, Yasuhei, MageOhki, Aleh and TFF in general for comments and help. You know who you all are.

This is pure crack. You have been warned.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Really.

* * *

Reload

Chapter 3

* * *

"A kind of magic."

* * *

/Captain's log, third day of the journey.

As of two days ago we have left behind the Fire Country and set sail on the open sea. The Daitoppa was enough for the initial boost, Furou scrolls and some control seals are responsible for the rest. The 'Enterprise' is holding nicely, though the small degree of strenghtening of the general structure was the only thing I could do. Stupid bastard and lack of time.

Anyway, we are doing a good time if slower and we set a course on the Sunflower Island. If the weather holds, we will be there tomorrow. Then it is straight to Coral after we resupply./

"Where has the rum gone?!"

/Yes, resupply is vital. Hana seems to have settled in nicely. I'm surprised by that, actually. She seems to take things in stride and amazed me by quickly grasping the Sasuke-chan SOP./

"There is a 'Sasuke-chan Standard Operation Procedure?"

"Yes."

"Huh. What is it?"

"Pretend you don't see anything and maybe it will all go away."

/It is a good think she doesn't have her dogs with her, otherwise we'd have a problem. Though Hana can be quite a female dog when she wants to, if you know what I mean... and I do hope she didn't hear that. Anyway. The weather is nice, which is good. Sasuke-chan seems to have taken a liking to it, which is bad. Or good. I don't know. I am confused because the rum is gone. Hence I had to mourn that tragic fact with large quantities of jiu. And sake. And beer./

"Where the hell had all the beer gone?!"

/Note to self - resupply is a must. Especially since Sasuke is demolishing our chocolate supply and Hana isn't far behind. And they left none for me which, I would like to point out, is FUCKING unfair!/

"You get plenty of candy as it is, dobe."

"I am not going to dignify that with an answer. Get her in the bikini, then we'll talk."

"...I'm still here you two fucking deviants."

/Though on the whole, I would like to say that the cooperation is going smoothly and our bitchy, in a good way, miss Inuzuka slowly adapts to our crew. Sasuke, as loathe as I am to admit it, helps. Somewhat. A little bit?/

"...I am not wearing that."

"Oh come on, it is a perfectly-"

"It is so skimpy it leaves nothing to the imagination and it is almost see through! It is marginally better than yours and that's only because it's bigger!"

"I know. Awesome, isn't it?"

/Those are the voyages of the ship Enterprise, boldly sailing without rum on our quest for profit, vengeance and hot babes. I hope./

* * *

"Drink?"

Hana looked up, seeing Sasuke, in his...hers... whatever, outrageous bikini extending a hand with a tall glass. There was a piece of a fruit on the side as well as a little umbrella in it.

"What is it?" She asked curiously, sniffing.

Alcohol, fruits, some... spice?

"A tropical drink I've learned to make somewhere." Sasuke-chan shrugged, sitting on the folding chair and taking a sip with relish. "Ah man... there is nothing better for such weather."

Hana looked at the drink with a slight mistrust. They had tricked her into drinking that... whatever it was two days ago but this one seemed on the level.

Sasuke-chan hummed, stretching languidly on the deck like a large cat.

Hana stared.

The Uchiha was still a mystery to her. The seemingly impossible jutsu aside, no man should feel as comfortable as a woman. Especially no twelve year old boy famed for his anal-retentive, cold nature.

"What is it?"

Hana blinked, shaken off her reverie to see Sasuke-chan staring at her, her sunglasses slid down the bridge of her nose.

"Huh?"

Sasuke-chan sighed.

"I can feel your eyes on me." She said with exasperation. "And you've been all odd ever since we left the bay." Sasuke-chan leaned forward, raising an eyebrow. "It's starting to get kinda annoying, you know? What's your problem?"

"What's my problem?" Hana scowled. "What's my problem?" She pointed at Sasuke's breasts. "THAT is my problem!"

The neo-girl followed Hana's finger.

"Yeah, they are quite nice." She nodded. "But what about them?"

"It is not about the... the..." The older woman slumped. "How can you be...?"

Sasuke looked at her for a moment, before sighing.

"So that's what's eating you." She said, putting away her drink. "The whole female thing, huh?"

"Thing? THING?!" Hana snapped. "One minute you are a man, the next you are a woman. This ain't no henge - I can _smell_ the gender! And you... you even _move_ like a woman like this!"

"That's because I am one." Sasuke shrugged. "Should I walk like a man when I'm not one?"

"This!" Hana growled. "This is exactly what I'm talking about! And you have the fucking gall to ask me what's my problem?! What is YOURS, Uchiha?!" She slammed her drink down, nearly breaking the glass. "You are a fucking teenager, insecure in your sexuality and shit and here you go... changing into a woman. And more... you behave like some fucking little vixen, all flirtatious, sexy and... kami I can't believe I'm even SAYING that!" The dog master rubbed her temple.

Sasuke chuckled shaking her head.

"It's really bugging you, doesn't it?"

"Fuck YES it's bugging me!" Hana growled. "Where is your Uchiha pride or whatever the fuck it is? What the hell is wrong with you?!"

"Wrong... Funny you say that." Sasuke frowned thoughtfully, tapping her cheek for a long moment. "Ever seen the Hyuuga?"

Hana blinked.

"What has that got to do with anything?"

"Humor me." Sasuke-chan said.

"Well, yeah. Everybody does at some point."

"Tell me..." The neo-girl murmured thoughtfully "Have you ever saw one smile?"

Hana looked at Sasuke incredulously.

"You're kidding, right?"

Sasuke-chan sighed, taking off her glasses.

"No. And that's the whole problem."

Hana looked at the... girl for a long moment.

"Okay, you lost me." She admitted finally.

"Hyuuga are the 'strongest in the Leaf'." Sasuke-chan scoffed, showing what she thought of that. "They consider themselves noble, well bred, civilized and basically above the 'rabble' - read every non-Hyuuga. Using their fancy jyuuken, boasting the 'invincibility' thing and so on. Mighty Byakugan." The neo-girl looked at Hana. "And yet they never smile. Never go out to have a drink with friends and get wasted to do some stupid shit. They mark their own children with a seal that is like a delayed execution order at worst and a mark of slavery at best. Two thirds of their clan are slaves to the minority - slaves that are not even taught the more powerful moves of their style out of paranoia." Sasuke shook her head. "You know what I see? I don't see the 'strongest in the Leaf'. I see the saddest in the Leaf."

Hana's eyes widened.

"...what?"

"Well, they are." The Uchiha heir shrugged. "Sure, they are aloof, proud and shit... and I haven't seen a sadder bunch of people in my life. Because they are the 'strongest in the leaf' they are noble and they have an obligation to live up to some kind of stupid ass ideal. A Hyuuga won't go out to get wasted with a friend - he's a HYUUGA! Unthinkable. You won't find Hyuuga eating ramen in some ratty little bar - it is not for the likes of a Hyuuga. You won't find a Hyuuga doing some stupid shit to make a person he likes notice, because they are Hyuuga. Hyuuga won't ask for even most trivial thing, not without making a scene. They have Hyuuga pride to think of."

"When you put it that way..." Hana said slowly.

"And they are hardly alone, you know. Demanding from people to conform to some 'ideal' in the name of 'insert name here' pride. You? You are lucky, because Inuzuka Clan don't care about that garbage. You don't know what it is like." Sasuke smiled wryly. "Try to live with the 'genius' label for a while. Do that, because you're a genius. Do this because you're an Uchiha. Doesn't matter what you might or might not want. Live with it so long that you live it, and that 'pride' takes over. You don't know what or who you are anymore." A hint of steel flashed in the onyx eyes. "Me? I'll pass, thank you. If I have pride in something, it is myself. I am myself. I do what I do not because I'm a 'genius' "She made the mocking quotations with her fingers. "Or because I'm the 'great Uchiha'. I do what I do because I am myself."

"As a girl?" Hana raised an eyebrow.

"And why not?" The neo-girl shrugged.

"Well, you're a _man_ for one." Hana grumbled.

"Not in this particular moment I am not." Sasuke pointed out with smirk.

"I mean... doesn't it strike you as weird?" Hana asked, struggling with words. "You are a boy... and you are comfortable as fuck like... that."

"Shouldn't I be?" Sasuke asked curiously. "It is me. Male, female... I'm still myself. I can do it, why not use it? Tanning is great when I'm a girl. Chocolate simply rocks, as does ice cream. Women can wear some fancy clothes and can get away with shit men never would be able to. I like sleeping like that - it is more comfortable. And I'm hot." The neo girl shrugged.

"Modest, too." Hana muttered.

"Modesty is for others. I don't need to be modest with a body like that." The Uchiha heir waved her hand airily.

Hana shook her head.

"So you do it because you can? Just... like that?"

"Just like that." The neo-girl nodded. "I like it. I enjoy myself. Why shouldn't I?" She stretched. "Does it hurt anybody? Well, save from some people getting heart attacks." Sasuke-chan smirked.

"I still say that it ain't fair." The Inuzuka grumbled, eyeing the smooth, taut yet perfectly built body. "I mean, what kind of woman can compete with some kind of idealized super-henge?"

"Ideal-" Sasuke-chan scowled. "Hey! That was damn low! It's all natural, I'll have you know!" She sniffed.

Hana raised an eyebrow skeptically.

"Okay... explanation time." Sasuke pointed at herself. "This is the derivate of something called Oiroke no jutsu. Developed by a certain moron."

"Wait. Wait... Oiroke... Where did I-" She snapped her fingers. "Kiba told me Naruto boasted he used something called that to take down Sarutobi-sama!"

"Yep. It's true, too." Sasuke-chan smirked. "Versatile little thing, that. It technically should be a henge but..." Sasuke-chan shrugged. "Let's just say he has a unique ability that actually created a complete transformation. I tried to copy it. Failed. We sat down to work, trying everything from seals to some obscure things I won't bore you with. In the end, I failed, but got this out of it. This is, essentially, how I'd look had I been born female and a few years older. Don't ask why older - I dunno. We think it's because Naruko looks to be in her late teens."

Hana blinked.

"...Naru_ko_?" She asked.

Sasuke smirked.

"Ask me next time Naruto's on the deck. I'll show you. And if you think, those are big..." She grinned. "Well, let's just say that Naruko puts us both to shame."

Hana blinked owlishly.

"...wow. That's..." She scratched her chin. "Really?"

Sasuke chuckled before sliding the sunglasses back up and laying on the deck like a large cat, humming something under her breath.

'Hmm... Nice. Kind of catchy.' Hana thought absently.

"...I don't care, I'm still free. You can't take the sky from me..."

Sasuke hummed, soaking in the warmth of the sun.

* * *

Naruto blinked.

"...what?"

"A new one." Sasuke-chan pointed at her yo-yo. "I need a second one."

"Sheesh. Build one yourself." Naruto scowled, going back to his scroll. "It's not like you can't."

"Yours are better, dobe. Come on!" She pouted. "Pretty please?"

"...freak." The blond shuddered. "...all right. What do you want?"

"Wire. And some spikes."

"Again?"

Sasuke shrugged.

"Useful."

"All right. I think I have some supplies here. I can make one."

"Cool." Sasuke-chan nodded and Naruto sighed.

"...could you please put on so-" He palmed his face at Sasuke's smirk. "Never mind."

"Heh." She turned to the deck, looking at the napping Hana. "What are we going to do with her?"

Naruto shrugged, grabbing some tools and a few clear sheets of paper.

"I dunno. Let her complete the mission. We'll see later on. Who cares anyway."

"She's gooing to be trouble." Sasuke frowned.

"And that is new... how, exactly?"

"Point." Sasuke-chan smirked. "Up for some sparring?"

"With you naked? I don't think so." Naruto scowled. "Go away before I do something I might regret."

"Oh you tease." Sasuke-chan pouted.

"...NOT THAT WAY YOU SICKO!"

Sasuke chuckled, twirling and walking away, laughing her head off.

"...I hate when she... GAH he... _fuck_ does that..." Naruto slumped.

"...she does make a one hot babe though." One of the clones said shyly.

Naruto turned, glaring.

"And why don't I dispel you?"

The clone shrugged.

"Well I do so now. Shoo." The clone vanished in a poof of smoke and Naruto paled, slamming his head on the small desk.

"...oh god but I didn't need that..." He whimpered. "Not to self - monitor the clones. Ogling Sasuke is _so_ not right on so many levels."

"Hey, Naruto, can you rub some sun screen on my back?"

"FUCK YOU, BASTARD!" The blond snapped.

"You promise?"

Naruto whimpered.

"...why me...?"

* * *

"Captain! Captain!"

Naruto looked up from his pipe (there just might be something to this smoking business...)

"What is it, Mr. Uzumaki?"

"We have noticed three ships to the north west. They are unusually fast an approaching us with a steady speed!"

"...ships? Here?" Naruto puffed on his pipe thoughtfully. "Odd. This is almost out of-" He blinked. "Give my my spyglass, Number One!"

"Aye, captain!"

Naruto grabbed the spyglass, walking out of the control room.

"...one... two... three..." The jinchuuriki muttered, looking through the spyglass. "Oh they are there all right. What are they d-..." He magnified the view, looking over the strangely arrow-shaped foredecks. "...oh fuck me..." Naruto breathed. "...Rakers... Kiri Rakers... How in the world?!"

"...uh-oh..." The clones looked at each other suddenly nervous. "...Are you sure, captain?"

"FUCK yes I'm sure. And they have jolly roger too... Just great!" He threw the spyglass to the Number One. "Scroll Master! How much power can you give to the Furou?"

"She can' take anymore, capt'n!" The clone shook his head. "Little more and we be breakin' 'er apart!"

"I _knew_ I should have made some more mods... SASUKE! Get your ass over here!" He screamed, running through the deck, his captain coat flailing after him. "We've got trouble!"

Sasuke lowered her shades lazily.

"What is it? I'm kind of in a middle of something."

"Well we will be in a middle of three pirate rakers in about an hour. So if you could _kindly_ get of your ass and HELP?!"

The neo-girl blinked.

"...really?"

"Yes. Really."

"Rakers?"

"Three of them."

Sasuke jumped off the deck, running to the cabin like crazy.

"Rakers?" Hana blinked.

"Pursuit ships built in Kiri shipyards."

"Dangerous?" Hana put down her book, getting up on the deck quickly in a way that did interesting things to her bikini-clad body.

Naruto tried not to stare. Much.

"Very. Very fast, far faster than anything that size should be. Armed with four catapults, and they carry a contingent of shinobi."

"What would Kiri navy want with us?"

"They are not Navy." Naruto shook his head. "Kiri navy never uses just rakers alone. They don't even use them much, to be honest. A lot of speed, but not enough bang for the buck. The crew capacity is too low and they can be flimsy. Pirates, on the other hand, love them. They've been also called 'sharks' and with a good reason. I've heard rumors of pirate shipyards geared toward full servicing of the rakers, even building them from scratch. I didn't believe that but..."

"Shit." Hana paled. "Can we outrun them?"

"Enterprise is fast, but it is just a sailing boat. No. Raker is the fastest ship on the Mist Sea period."

"How much time?" She said grimly walking to the cabin.

"An hour, around that."

"Dammit!" She lunged for the lower deck.

Naruto grabbed several scrolls, cursing under his breath.

* * *

"I can see them."

"Well whoop de-fucking-DO, having a Sharingan and all." Naruto rolled his eyes."

Sasuke, now in male form slammed a metallic sounding satchel on the deck.

"I've been wondering what you've been lugging there with you..." Naruto looked over curiously only for his jaw to drop as Sasuke opened the satchel.

"...what the-?!"

"Heh." Sasuke grinned, taking out the parts of the black armor.

"Where the did you get that?" asked Naruto with surprise, looking at the matte black armor plates.

"From Tenten's shop." Sasuke whistled, putting the undermesh on.

"What the hell for?"

"Because it is cool, useful and I never had real shinobi armor before." Sasuke strapped the breastplate, frowning for a second. "Well that, and it goes with my hair."

Naruto palmed his face.

"...of all the retarded..." He blinked. "...And you bough it for a male?"

"They didn't have female breastplates." Sasuke sulked. "And Tenten didn't have time to make one."

"...Thank you, all the kami!" Naruto clapped his hands with reverence. "I _swear_ I will buy Tenten something nice for that!"

"Better do her something nice." Sasuke said, struggling with a gauntlet. "She looked stressed."

"Ah. Now that might be a good idea." Naruto frowned thoughtfully.

"And it would help you as well. You've been grumpy lately." Sasuke shrugged. "Too high strung or what?"

"...I think I'm going to die." Naruto said dryly. "Irony. It is killing me here." He blinked, snapping his fingers. "Right. Before I forget." The blond pulled out a sealing scroll from his pocket. "One spike yo-yo. Don't wreck it too fast."

Sasuke grinned gleefully.

"Heh." He unsealed the scroll, grabbing the significantly larger, crimson red yo-yo and fastening it on his finger.

The Uchiha let it fly several times.

"Oooh. Nice. Improved balance and..." The spikes extended. "... an internal sealing mechanism. And little chakra drain."

"'Cause it's fixed. It can go back and forth only twenty times. Well, nineteen times. Then you'll have to redo the seal." Naruto shrugged. "Charge some chakra and you'll have ejecting spikes."

"...Nasty." Sasuke breathed. "I think I'm in love." He said fondly, caressing the yo-yo. "Well, one more detail and I'm set..." The young ninja muttered, reaching for a long, wide but fairly thin package.

"What is that thing?" Naruto frowned as Sasuke unveiled a streamlined... board? With seals carved on it? "...those are release seals... what the hell?" He muttered, looking at it carefully.

"You'll see." Sasuke's grin turned nasty. "It's worth it. Trust me."

Naruto frowned, looking at Sasuke who carried the board to the side of the ship and set it there, whistling.

"...I have a bad feeling about this..." The blond muttered, reaching for his freshly scribbled scrolls. "Well..." He grabbed them. "Time to get ready, hmm?"

The jinchuuriki chucked the scrolls overboard, watching them sink quickly with satisfaction.

"Heh heh heh..." He grinned. "This is gonna be GRAND!"

"What are you waiting for, grab some weapons!" Hana snarled, walking out of the cabin in her chuunin uniform, kodachi on her back.

"I just did."

The young woman looked at him suspiciously and the blond just smirked.

"By the power of knowledge, I have conquered the universe! Heh." He whistled for a moment, before reaching for a large scroll.

The kunoichi raised an eyebrow as the blond smeared some blood on the outer seal, the scroll suddenly becoming twice as large.

Naruto unrolled it calmly, allowing the seals to open, deposing eleven smaller scrolls on the deck.

'...quick access storage seals...?' Hana's eyes widened. 'But that is a chuunin skill!'

"Now, which of you I should..." He grabbed one scroll. "...Ah. Bunker. Right. I need to get materials for that one." He put it away, grabbing another. "Avalanche...? No." Naruto took another, looking it over carefully. "Ah, high density air pressure. Neatness. But no. I need something... Something- A-HA!" He grabbed the dual scrolls. "Greetings, my lovely babe! Missed me?" The blond hugged the scroll, before frowning. "...Well, missed me from two days ago, anyway. But yes, yes, yes... You will be PERFECT! My prrrrrecious!" He stashed the scrolls in his pockets and grabbed the last one. "And you too, snakey. Time to earn your keep." Naruto threw the scroll overboard. "And I DARE you not to work this time!" He screamed after the scroll as it sunk.

Hana looked at the obviously not quite.. right boy with pity.

'...stress must have got to him. But then he is just a fresh genin. Poor kid.'

"Don't worry. We'll get through this somehow." Hana said softly, laying her arm on Naruto's shoulder.

"Yep." Naruto grinned, before frowning. "Oi, bastard!"

"...what?" Sasuke said distractedly, absorbed with playing with his newest yo-yo on the side.

"Don't you fucking _dare_ to use fire, bitch." Naruto growled, pointing at him. "I never had an authentic pirate flag. I want one." He rubbed his chin. "...I never had an authentic pirate raker either, to tell the truth."

"Build yourself one, dobe." The Uchiha snorted.

"It wouldn't be authentic then, now would it."

Sasuke scowled, grumbling.

"...whatever." He said finally. "We'll see."

"We'll see, we'll see..." Naruto mimicked mockingly. "Fucking little princess. You should just stay female permanently you little bitch."

The Uchiha raised an eyebrow and Naruto paled.

"...On the other hand disregard that."

Sasuke smirked.

"Yeah, fuck you too." Naruto grumbled, snapping his fingers and twirling a deck of cards a second later. "Anybody up for a nice relaxing game of poker to pass the time?"

"...are you fucking MENTAL?" Hana pointed to the side. "We have three pirate shipts inbound in next forty minutes and you want to play POKER?! This is not some goddamn Academy exercise, you little fucker! Treat it seriously goddamit!"

"Poker is a serious thing." Naruto said solemnly.

"Very." Sasuke nodded, sitting by. "Deal. Let's see how little I can lose this time."

"You in?" Naruto looked at Hana.

"Are you fucking _serious_?!" Hana growled.

"Poker's boring with only two people."

The kunoichi gritted her teeth, trying not to strangle the two rather mental little shits.

* * *

"...two pairs."

"Full house."

"Royal flush."

"...son of a bitch!" The woman slammed her cards on the deck. "That's the second time! How do you do that?!" Hana was pissed. She was _good_ at poker, and here was this little shit playing her for what she was worth! She already lost her payoff from this mission, for the next one, most of her kunai, her freaking chuunin vest and twenty percent of the income from her clinic for next year! And for the life of her she couldn't catch him cheating at all!

"Babe, you ain't half bad, but me?" Naruto shuffled the cards, withdrawing a straight flush. "I am magic."

"AGAIN!" Hana growled.

Sasuke shook his head, looking at his two pair. He managed not to bet too much this time, Fortunately. He smirked. Overall, not a bad game.

"And what are you laughing at! He just won two of the houses in Uchiha District!" The Inuzuka woman grumbled.

"Yep. Only two houses and some cash." The Uchiha nodded sagely.

"Stingy coward." Naruto smirked. "Bow before my card power, fools!"

"I still think you've got some kind of gamble or luck bloodlimit." Sasuke muttered curiously. "It is statistically impossible for anyone to win like you do."

"It's a kind of magic, bastard." Naruto grinned, before frowning, turning to the side as a mist rose. "...fucking wonderful." He grabbed the cards, snapping his fingers and the cards vanished.

"Nothing in my sleeves?" Naruto rolled them up, showing them off to Sasuke and Hana. "But... Oh my, what's this?" A chain appeared around his wrist.

"...You simply have to teach me that seal one day." Sasuke looked at Naruto's wrist with envy. "I mean... that's retrieval without seals or blood and faster by far."

"It takes helluva lot of chakra, though." Naruto shrugged.

"So why do you do it?" Hana asked curiously.

Naruto and Sasuke looked at her oddly.

"Because it's cool." The Uchiha heir explained patiently. "Why else?"

"If it's worth bein' done..." Naruto grinned. "Do it with _style_."

Sasuke nodded, snapping his yo-yo up and down gracefully.

The Inuzuka heiress blinked owlishly.

"...how stupid _are_ you two?"

* * *

"Are they close?" Hana muttered, hiding over the impromptu shield.

The tag-arrow exploded and Sasuke raised an eyebrow.

"Well, it would appear so." He grabbed the board. "Naruto, I need a wave."

"How large?"

"Give me that snake."

Naruto raised an eyebrow and Sasuke smirked.

"...your fucking funeral." The blond muttered, biting his thumb and smearing a small scroll he took from the inner pocket of his coat. "Come out. Time to play."

"What are y-" Hana's eyes widened as the ship shuddered briefly as Naruto completed the sealing.

"Kuchiyose... KAIRYUU!"

There was a brief and sudden silence.

And then, the water exploded, straight upwards with a shriek.

"...what the hell...?" Hana muttered, her eyes wide, as the stream of water arced and flew back at the water again.

'...back...? No... I can something... moving...?' She blinked. 'And did he say... kuchiyose...?"

"Well you've got your snake. Pirates are waiting, bastard." Naruto pointed at the three ships.

Sasuke smirked, grabbing the board and lunging overboard.

"Where the hell ARE YOU GOING YOU... id...iot...?" Hana trailed off, halting.

Sasuke nimbly threw the board and landed on the water without trouble, kicking the board upwards on the wave and jumping on it.

"...Is he... riding that...thing...?" The Inuzuka woman said with disbelief.

Naruto stared.

"...son of a...!" He stomped the deck. "Fucker! YOU TOTAL FUCKER! And you didn't make one for _me?!_"

Sasuke chuckled, riding on the sealed surf board, before grinning. Then he let the chakra flow into the board, activating the sealed suiton jutsu.

The board... jumped.

And sped up.

"... MWAHAHAHAHA!"

* * *

Hana stared at the constantly speeding up Sasuke dumbly, trying to somehow come to terms with the odd sight, as did Naruto. Only he stomped his feet, sulked and gnashed his teeth. The chakra he was radiating was enough to make his chain snap around like an angry snake, accompanied by a wind-swept coat.

"...that's it... that's fucking IT!" Naruto snarled finally. "He thinks he's all that, he thinks he can upstage ME? I will show him _who_ is the fucking seal master here!" He ripped a scroll from his jacket, throwing it to Hana. "Here. Things go bad, spill some blood on it and charge as much chakra as you can. It will summon a fun little helper."

"...what..." She looked at the blond who threw off his captain cap and opened the coat, already jumping overboard. "HEY! WHERE THE FUCK DO YO-"

Hana ducked under cover hastly as another arrow sailed over her head.

"...dammit! How do I explain this to the Hokage!?"

She looked out gingerly, noticing that Naruto was standing on the sea surface, his face in a rather oddly calm look.

Until he smirked, that is.

"Come! I call you forth! Come!"

'...oh great. Now he's gone even more overboard.' Hana slumped. 'Losing two genin on my solo mission. Great going there, Hana... I wi-" The kunoichi blinked, looking at the water closely. '...is that...? No. Impossible.' She shook her head, rubbing her eyes with disbelief. 'I'm seeing things.'

The water started to whirl around Naruto slowly, oddly enough leaving him just enough room to stand.

"Finally." The blond smiled. "Come on out, babe."

'...no... I can't believe this!' Hana stared, eyes wide. 'It can't be...! What the hell...?!'

"Come, my beauty."

The water erupted. But differently than before. Now it was steady. Almost... measured.

And instead of a wild, large serpentine form...

The kunoichi stared in the stupor at the tall, blue skinned form of a well endowed woman with a fish tail and a trident in hand.

Naruto grinned.

"Queen of the current... Keisei."

She was his masterpiece. Save for Kiyohime, who never left the drawing board since she was so hellishly complicated, Keisei was his crowning achievement as a seal master. Even more so than the 'castle summon' he was working on.

More than just a mindless, advanced version of Suiruyudan-turned-quasi summon that Kairyuu was, this was a true summon. Well, as close as one could without it being a real summon, seeing as niether he nor Sasuke could contract any tribe at all. But Kesei... Well, she was as close as it came.

A variation of Mizu Bunshin for body and form, the Kage Bunshin for matrix, chakra up the wazoo, a stream of seals that was nearly endless to figure out... She was the result of nearly ten years of work. Sure, she needed a lot of water but...

"Ah. Hot as ever." Naruto grinned as Keisei smiled back. "Come, my queen. Time to show a certain bastard who sits on the throne of the seven seas."

Keisei twirled her trident, stabbing it behind her as she grabbed Naruto.

The wave rose and, nimble like quicksilver, the siren lunged forward.

* * *

Sasuke spun, jumping up and swinging his yo-yo.

The nukenin who had been rising hands to make seals screamed as the spikes ripped his hands apart.

Sasuke smirked wagging his finger.

"Now that's a big no-no, scum." he let the yo-yo string tie over the man's throat and snapped his fingers in two simple seals. The Kiri nukenin didn't have a chance to scream as the high voltage fired through him.

The crew just stared in shock.

Sasuke snapped his yo-yo back, lunging forward, yo-yo flying and closed his eyes as he avoided the clumsy stab with ease, kicking up and snapping his spiked yo-yo to the side, ripping a throat of an overly enthusiastic pirate.

The Uchiha scion spun gracefully, both yo-yo's flailing around, only to release the spikes.

The men closest to him screamed and Sasuke's eyes snapped open, revealing the spinning wheels of the Sharingan.

Fingers moved quickly, spreading the explosive notes in the air.

The remaining pirates' eyes widened as the Uchiha simply jumped back on the railing. Sasuke's smirk widened a fraction as he took a deep breath, his fingers going through the fluidly at a speed msot jounin would be hard pressed to match.

A second later, the chakra from Housenka, coupled with the fire reached the slowly falling explosive notes.

Sasuke chuckled as he jumped on the board, again releasing the mini-furou jutsu he had there, propelling himself forward.

He always loved fireworks.

* * *

Naruto rolled his eyes at the explosion.

"I told him not to blow them up! That fire-happy moron..." He sighed, before frowning. "But I won't be outdone by that bastard! Let's go wild, Keisei!"

The summon smirked and grabbed her trident stronger, before stabbing it into the ship and using it and her powerful tail to smash the side of the ship, before propelling herself and Naruto up.

"...what in the name of-?!" One of the nukenin, captain by the looks of it, simply stared at the real, honest to kami siren smashing his ship in shock.

"Why hello there. You are a pirate, right?" Naruto smiled.

The man nodded in his stupor.

"That's good. Would hate to make a mistake." Naruto's eyes flashed red.

It was the killer aura that rose around the genin that propelled the shinobi to action.

The captain went for his kunai, only to stop with a sickening crunch as a long chain smashed his skull open.

"Hoo. Niiiice. Handy. Very much so." Naruto grinned. "Come on. I have a weapon test to do!"

A man in a chuunin vest growled, grabbing a sword and aiming at Naruto's back.

"...you fucking ba-" He halted, his eyes wide.

Keisei waggled her finger with disapproval, her almond-shaped eyes slitted and red, her fish tail gone in favor of two shapely legs. The ninja slipped from the trident with a wet sound and Keisei smirked, revealing disturbingly pointed incisors as she licked her lips.

Naruto let go of the chain, allowing it to go back to the storage seal on his wrist as the next shinobi turned a little too close for comfort. He twisted the kunai from the man's hand and fluidly opening his throat, only halt as a Suiryudan rose from the water. The dragon roared, lunging at the blond's unprotected side even as Naruto put his hands in the pockets of his coat, closing his eyes with a sigh.

The dragon's roar turned into a pitiful, dying shriek as the water was dispersed by the vicious twirl of the trident and a geyser of water erupting around the blond and his summon, coating the deck in moisture.

"Idiot. My beautiful Keisei is the queen of the current." Naruto sneered at the pirates as the wall of water dispersed. "You think some half assed Suiryudan used by a pitiful chuunin can make her even blink? EH?!" The jinchuuriki lunged forward, hand snapping back and 'reaching' into the storage seal, withdrawing the chain. "Who do you think I AM?! I AM UZUMAKI NARUTO BITCHES!" He roared snapping the chain forward even as the shinobi jumped out of range.

"...GET OVER HERE!" Screamed the blond and the Kiri nukenin's eyes widened as the chain seemed to just... fall apart.

'...no...it is... it is held by chakra str-' He slumped as the spike at the end of the chain found his throat.

Other shinobi went for their kunai, lunging at the blond.

Naruto spun the chain over his head.

"Wanna see something special, bastards?" He grinned nastily. "BREAK!"

And the chain... did.

Each link scattered over the deck, impacting the Kiri-nin with a force of a hammer strike, twirling around the blonde like a horde of large, steel mosquitos. Naruto pulled his hands to the sides, snapping the countless chakra strings back with a grin.

'...Yeah. I HAVE to make something nice for Tenten for that. Oh yeah.'

Keisei grinned, her clawed hands ripping apart one of the shinobi that tried to get to close to her master with glee.

One of the Kiri nins finally dropped his kunai, running away to jump ship.  
Naruto snapped his fingers, letting loose a torrent of playing cards from his sleeve that ended up stabbing the man or running him clean through.

"...Oh." Naruto's eyes widened as he looked at cards. "Fuck. Umm..." He looked at the pirates. "...Umm. Sorry but... I think it's time for me to go." He grinned sheepishly. "Baibai!" The blond jumped back, closing his eyes as Keisei's nimble hands snatched him, shielding him with her body as they went for the water.

Barely two seconds later, the upper deck of the ship exploded.

"Well, there goes my jolly roger I guess..." Naruto muttered with dissapointment.

Keisei rubbed his face consolingly, before pointing at the last ship that started to run away.

Naruto perked up.

"Well, as they say... Third time is a charm!"

The siren smiled, patting her master's head as her legs 'flowed' into a fish tail shape and they lunged after the boat.

* * *

"...I told you not to blow them up!"

"Feh. As if you were any better."

"ACCIDENT you bastard! ACCIDENT!" Naruto scowled. "What part of 'accident' don't you get?" Keisei patted Naruto's back soothingly. "Thanks. At least someone here appreciates me." He muttered sulkily.

"When did she get so..." Sasuke waved his hand vaguely. "Anyway?"

"Well, I've put a lot of love and effort, bastard." Naruto looked at Keisei proudly and the siren smiled cheerfully, wagging her tail fin at Sasuke mockingly. "Isn't she just beautiful, eh? Perfect."

"Well she is hot, that much I can give you." He admitted grudgingly. "Still... shouldn't she be... I don't know, more impressive?" He asked. "Ten years of work and-" Sasuke sputtered as he somehow ended up tripping and falling face first into water.

Keisei smiled innocently, as Naruto laughed.

"...I get the point." The Uchiha heir muttered darkly, spitting water.

"Oh, my... They didn't even damage the ship. Cool." Naruto smiled, looking at the slowly drifting boat. "It would be a shame to lose her."

Keisei looked at Naruto, pointing upwards with a raised eyebrow.

"Sure."

The siren smiled, grabbing the blond and using her powerful tail to launch herself up. Mid-jump, her tail separated, forming a pair of shapely - and quite naked - legs as she landed gracefully, putting Naruto down. She looked at him for a second, cocking her head, before grabbing the collar of the coat and pulling it up with a nod.

Naruto blinked, looking at her oddly.

Keisei looked over his arm curiously, before pointing at something behind him.

Naruto turned.

"Oh. Hi."

"Hi." Hana said blandly, her face blank.

"Safe?"

"Unharmed."

"Cool." The blond nodded.

Sasuke jumped over the railing and walked to the cabin, shedding the armor along the way.

"So, who wants a beer?"

* * *

TBC...

* * *

OMAKE by Yojorocks:

Thump-thump

Thump-thump-thump

It was entirely too early in the morning and Sasuke needed her beauty sleep. "Naruto, go get the door... NARUTO!" Damnit, it was too fucking early to get up in the morning. Sasuke absently reached for the remote control and threw it at the sleeping blond, who was currently drooling on the couch.

"Ouch! Huh? yawns What now?"

Thump thump

"Get the door, Dobe."

Naruto blearily glanced at the curled up ball of sheets and pillows, sighed, and stumbled out of bed. Thump "Alright alre-ready. I'm coming, I'm coming."

Threading his way over the empty liquor bottles, he stumbled over to the cheap hotel door. Throwing an apologetic glance at the passed out form of Hana on the futon, he threw open the door.

"What the FUCK do you need this early in th-"

Black cape with red clouds? Check.

Ebony hair with a flat black gaze? Check.

Blue gill faced sidekick looking entirely unamused at having to be up this early? Check.

"Huh, so he had to pry you out of bed this early? What is it with Uchihas, anyway?"

Blank gazes met blue eyes, clearly unimpressed.

"Uzumaki Naruto, carrier of the Kyuu-"

"Yeah, yeah, come on in and I'll be out in a minute. Don't you guys ever call ahead or anything?" He grumbled ans he moved aside and turned back to the double bedroom. "I would offer the futon, but it's currently in use. Gimme a sec."

Without a backwards glance, he proceeded to weave his way to the sleeping Inuzuka, leaving two slightly confused Akatsuki members behind.

Never one to turn down a willing sacrifice, Itachi followed him inside to the trashed room. Before he got more than two steps in, Naruto bellowed out towards the bedroom "Teme-chan, the idiots are here again. It's for you."

Deeming the matter completed to his satisfaction, he turned to the two bewildered nuke-nins and offered a flask."We don't have much left, but can I interest you in some Amber Ice?"

"Ah, your loss. Here, have a seat." With a quick shove and a yelp, Hana's body met the floor and she sat up.

"Ooooh, what the hell, why did you do that you bas... Older Sasuke- why is older Sasuke a guy? And what the hell happened to her silk baby-t?"

She turned and glared at Naruto, who shrugged, downing a bit of the drink in his hand.

"Alright dobe, who is it that wrecked my bea- Itachi."

Everyone froze, for different reasons.

Itachi was trying to figure out who he missed in his family massacre, because there was one hot looking DEFINITELY female Uchiha glaring at him in the doorway, eyes bleeding red and tomes pacing. He activated his Sharingan in reflex. 'Maybe I was a wee bit too presumptuous in wiping out all of the females?'

Hana realizing that 'Sasuke was still female and just came out of the room, so therefore older male Not!Sasuke was, well, not Sasuke. But the Sharigan, Itachi- oh shit.'

Kisame was tired of not being treated like a threat and wanted to kill everyone. Seriously, what type of S-Rank nuke-nin knocked on doors anyway?

Naruto was trying to figure out why the freaky duo was here this early in the morning and how he was going to get his deposit back on the room, considering the violence that would ultimately ensue.

Sasuke-chan, well...

A pair of yo-yos appeared in her hands.

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke, you killed my father, prepare to die."

The yo-yo spun up and down as the elder brother tried to figure out what the well stacked chick meant. 'Was Sasuke really my sister?'

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke, you Killed my Father, prepare to Die."

The yo-yo twitched and spun in a furious arc, moving faster than any normal eye could follow.

Smack. The Yo-yo was embedded in the wall a centimeter from Itachi's left ear. He didn't so much as start.

Itachi raised an eyebrow slightly, inwardly impressed. The Sharingan mutilated outward into the ultimate dojutsu. "Tsukuyomi."

As the world bled red, the ground wavered briefly before reasserting itself in the familiar scene of the Uchiha massacre.

"So, Sasuke, You've been chasing me your entire life, only to fail now. I think that's the worst thing I've ever heard; how marvelous."

Hateful eyes glared right back, and Itachi realized something wasn't quite right. Why was she still in a henge?

"You obviously haven't lived in an unsightly manner. You were supposed to live in that hate, not mutilate your body."

His comment made no impact on the glaring Ebony figure. Itachi's Sharingan itched.

"My name is Uchicha Sasuke, you KILLED my father, prepare to DIE."

The yo-yo was still spinning around her left hand. 'What the hell? How did that get here?'

A ripping noise tore the illusion apart, and with a start he was staring up at that ceiling. The first yo-yo was still embedded over where he had dodged it, but had large red spikes coming out of one of the fans on the side.

'What the hell?'

"My name is Uchiha Sasuke, you KILLED my father, my mother, my hamster, and BURNED MY COPY OF THE PRINCESS BRIDE, PREPARE TO DIE HEATHEN!"

'Yes, this was definitely Sasuke; no one else adored that book nearly as much. It was so unbecoming for the elite Uchiha to have such plebeian tastes...' He could feel something trickling down his neck as yo-yos seemed to form out of the ether and tore Kisame apart before he could blink. Itachi couldn't feel below his neck anymore.

"It is cough unbecoming for a cough Uchiha to like such a cough romantic farce, little brother. couch Live in an cough unsightly manner cough cough..."

Hana stared at the mutilated bodies with wide eyes, absently grabbing the Amber Ice out of Naruto's hands and knocking back a shot.

Naruto merely watched impassively as Sasuke-chan tore into her brother's chest with another vicious yo-yo strike.

"My NAME is UCHIHA SASUKE, you KILLED my FATHER, PREPARE to DIE!"

With a final exclamation, the yo-yo wrapped around Itachi's neck and tore it from his shoulders.

Silence descended upon the room.

"Next time take care of the messengers yourself, dobe. You interrupted my beauty sleep." Without a back glance Sasuke-chan returned to the bedroom and slammed the door shut.

Hana looked over at Naruto, on the verge of hyperventilation. "Wah-wha- Itachi? Nuke-nin Itachi? S-Rank, crazy-"

Naruto merely sighed as she continued to babble and took one last drain of the liquor bottle, and got up.

"Not quite. They do this cheapass cloning thing where they take over other idiot's bodies and have them pretend to be there." He grimaced, picking up the Iwa-nin's head, which was dripping all over the floor. Damn, now he really wouldn't be getting any of his deposit back!

"Usually Sasuke likes to vent on them a bit, but apparently he wanted his sleep this morning. Asshole."

And with that, he took out a scroll and started drawing on the mangled bodies. A few hand seals later and the bloody remains disappeared, leaving only the bloodied carpet and a hole in the wall as a reminder that they were ever there.

"So, you want some breakfast?"

Omake End

* * *

AN: If anybody is interested, Keisei looks a lot like Shiva from FFVIII. Only taller and with a nasty trident and long nails that are almost like claws.

Also, let me clarify something - Naruto worked on the theory behind creating her for ten years. Not constantly, but more or less he always had something like her in mind to beat 'that stupid limitation'. He can't create the intelligent, semi-iindependent summons the size of, say, Gamabunta. He tried - Kiyohime was the his pet project for years and it still fails utterly. So he won't be suddenly spamming summons left and right. Not the ones like Keisei anyways - she's one of the kind.

Also, a funny thing about Keisei - it means 'siren'. But it also means 'beauty' or 'courtesan'.

Kairyuu means ocean current.

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

Edited by Skelethin.

Special thanks go to Cornuthaum, Nightelf, Typhonis, Vasey, Yasuhei, MageOhki, Aleh and TFF in general for comments and help. You know who you all are.

* * *

Reload

Chapter 4

* * *

"A view to kill."

* * *

Ashen taste in the mouth.

Dry.

Heavy.

And that strange numb feeling in the...

"...I mixed drinks again."

Naruto rubbed his eyes, opening them cautiously, only to close them with a groan.

"...turn off that damn sun..."

While he didn't experience hang-overs like 'normal' people, he had his limits. Especially if he tended to mix several types of hard liquor with beer and jiu.

"...cheese... milk... MEAT...!"

Oh yes. And another wonderful reaction. Where others had dry heaves... Naruto was hungry. Voraciously so.

He yawned, crawling up to a semi-straight position, looking around the surprisingly spacious cabin blearily.

"...huh. Red. Didn't figure her for red. Or a thong." The blond muttered, rubbing his cheek.

Hana was laying sprawled on one of the small... couch-thingies to the side, the blanket off, her quite shapely body all but bare.

Sasuke(-chan for sleeping purposes as always) had managed to somehow twist, turn and tie hers... his... fuck it - _hers_ (at the moment) - blankets in an odd combination of a cocoon, web, sleeping bag and... something. The odd construct was actually quite comfortable.

And, really - he didn't want to know how or why he knew this. This way laid madness.

"...Hmm?"

Naruto turned, taking two steps back.

"Imagine that." He said curiously peering over the side at the large fish tied to the railing. What kind of fish, he had no idea. "Who went fishing last night?" The young shinobi shook his head. "Oh well. Fishes. Fishes good. Naruto hungry." He created two clones. "Cooking time, guys."

"...dude..." Muttered one. "Can't you get Sasuke to do that? He-"

"She." Interrupted second clone.

"...whatever!" The first one shrugged, yawning. "Sasuke enjoys that shit. And does it well."

Naruto glared at his clones sullenly.

"...I hate making you when hung-over. You always come out weird." He raised an eyebrow suspiciously, looking at the second clone. "...hey... Didn't I dispel you last time, you little sicko?"

The second clone smiled innocently.

"...I fucking hate morning hangovers."

* * *

Hana whined pitifully, snuggling into her bunk even as the smell hit her.

The cabin reeked of booze, of cigarette smoke (and, oddly, mint), of snacks, of chocolate and...

"...fish?"

"Awake already? You're better than Sasuke."

Hana blinked owlishly, slowly rising her head until she came upon a familiar blond mane.

'...mane is right.' She squinted. 'Is that a genjutsu of some kind...?'

The hair was longer than yesterday. Not by much, but she'd bet on it. And, to her surprise, the 'whisker' marks were more... curved. Less like lines, more like some ornamental slashes. Thinner, but at the same time more pronounced.

"Come on, I bet you're hung-over. Drink." He gave her a tall glass filled with a...liquid. It was green. Lime green. With chunks of... something swimming inside.

She was surprised to find that despite its vile look, it smelled quite good. A little bit like that thick, spicy pudding her mother sometimes made.

"...Uh, no thanks. I'm hung-over and I doubt I could-"

"Drink. It is a collection of vitamins, proteins, supplements and restoratives, with some additions for taste." Naruto smirked. "Trust me, a hangover is _much_ better after you had a glass or two of this."

"...Well I doubt it can make it much worse..." The kunoichi muttered, grabbing the glass dubiously and toasting Naruto. "Bottoms up, then."

Her eyes widened as the odd cocktail made contact with her tongue.

'This stuff... it is GOOD!'

It tasted of spice, honey and, oddly enough, cinnamon. It had some coffee, she recognized from the slightly bitter, strong taste, but also milk and... vanilla?

"...The hell is this?" She wiped her mouth, looking at the glass in fascination. "The longer you drink this, the more stuff pops up..."

"Technically it is a liquid solider pill... Well it _should_ be." Naruto scratched his head. "I got a recipe from the notes scrawled on a book I got from Konoha public library. Somebody wanted to make slower acting variation of soldier pills, but ones that could be given to people with chakra-related injuries. It failed, since it was too weak, but..." He shrugged. "I tinkered with it some and, accidentally, with some additions and vitamins added, it makes the perfect hangover cure. It also works well for flushing poisons and - believe it or not - for stomach aches and indigestion."

"You a medic nin or something?" Hana looked at the blond boy with interest. Sure, from what her brother told of him, Naruto was supposed to be an idiot, but... Idiots don't go around using Kage Bunshin like that, casting a quick B-class genjutsu or doing the outrageous stuff he did. And she really, really didn't want to think about that summon. Or those scrolls. Or that jutsu that apparently allowed the boat to go far faster than it should. Even taking the amount of power needed for doing that alone... It made her head hurt. Less than certain Uchiha did, but not much.

"Medic... Me?" Naruto made an odd face. "Nah. I know a few things but that's... uh... random." For a moment there he looked nervous for some reason, before summoning that cocky grin again. "I just tinker some."

"...tinker. Yeah. Right." Hana nodded dubiously, before blinking. Her headache, while not vanishing, was certainly getting better. And her stomach somehow calmed itself down. Imagine that.

The Inuzuka woman looked at the glass speculatively.

"You got more of this stuff?" She asked finally.

* * *

Rise.

Reach.

Grab. Grab.

...Empty?

"Nrtgmthcccttl..."

Hana raised an eyebrow at the shambling form under the blankets.

Naruto poured a large glass of the cocktail, only to see it vanish in the confines of the blankets as Sasuke shambled back onto her bunk.

"You actually understood that?" The Inuzuka heiress asked curiously.

"More or less." Naruto shrugged. "I've got a lot of practice."

"Well he..." Hana peered under the blankets. "Sorry, she, certainly isn't a morning creature."

"For Sasuke, morning begins when my noon ends." The blond rolled his eyes, before looking curiously at the kunoichi. "You're calmer today."

"Calmer? No. Hung-over? Yes. Besides, I like fish. I won't waste one by freaking out."

"Oooh." Naruto nodded. "Good thinking."

"I have my moments." Hana smirked, shoving a large piece of grilled fish into her mouth and chewing it vigorously. "Hmm... Could use some more herbs."

"Hell-OO? Sea here, you know." The blond snapped with irritation.

"Just sayin'." The young woman waved her hand carelessly. "No need to get all nervous and stuff."

The pile of blankets shifted slightly.

"Gmmfdmhgrrrrrrn...!"

"It's on the table, bastard." Naruto frowned, pointing at the empty seat.

"Bthf!" A single black eye glared balefully.

"...whatever."

"Fcky..."

"I _would_ but there is nobody willing on this ship." The blond stretched on his bunk, popping a piece of a fruit into his mouth.

"...rrryrl?" The look in the visible eye changed from annoyance to curiosity.

"Don't even think about it." The young shinobi said lazily.

"Hnntsm...?"

"No."

"...cmn!" The pile whined.

"No. No means no, you fucking sicko." Naruto scowled.

"...bstrrddd..." The pile slumped into a sulk.

"Most probably." The blond nodded cheerfully, before scratching his head thoughtfully. "...Besides I doubt she'd go for it."

"...Cn'thtttsk." The blankets mumbled hopefully.

"...You have a fucking death wish." Naruto deadpanned, before sighing. "Oh all right." He turned to Hana. "Sasuke is asking if you have something against a threesome."

Hana froze, before looking at Naruto.

The Inuzuka woman opened her mouth, then closed it and Looked at the pile of blankets that was Sasuke.

"...I will pretend I didn't just hear that." She said finally, going back to her fish.

"I told you." Naruto shrugged as Sasuke sulked.

"Shdnsn." Offered the pile of blankets speculatively.

The jinchuuriki pinched the bridge of his nose.

"No, Sasuke. I'm pretty sure that it _was_ a 'no'."

Hana blissfully tuned the two weirdo genin out. Mom always said not to murder people during breakfast - it was impolite. Besides, the fish was pretty good.

* * *

"And here we are - the Sunflower Island. Lot's of glitter, café's up the wazoo... And one of the bigger exchange ports this side of the Mist Sea." Naruto leaned on the railing with satisfaction.

Hana eyed the odd, crowded-looking port and the city itself dubiously.

"I expected something... Grander."

"Grander?" Naruto smirked. "Hana, until roughly twenty years ago, this place was an unofficial capital of smugglers from the whole Mist Sea and, in some cases, beyond. It doesn't look it, but trust me - there is a lot of money in this place."

"How do you know that anyway?" The Inuzuka heiress looked at Naruto curiously.

"Poker."

Hana blinked.

Naruto shuffled the deck of cards that appeared in his hand with a faint smile.

"Money. Cards. I need money if I want to play the big boys in Coral."

"Why? Casinos are open for everybody." Hana shrugged.

"Yes. But the big games, the ones where there is money, are private. And in some, the entrance fee alone starts around one hundred thousand ryo for a single game."

Hana's eyes widened.

"You're kidding."

"No." Naruto shook his head. "Sasuke will cover a half, but the rest is up to me. That's why we're stopping here, re-supply aside. I need around three hundred thousand. Five hundred would be ideal, but I doubt I'll get it."

"Why? I've seen you playing, you little cheater." She raised an eyebrow, only to take a step back as Naruto's deck slammed on the railing. She'd seen what some of those cards/explosive notes thingies could do the day before. No _way_ was she going to be careless!

"Okay, let's get something straight. I can cheat. I know HOW to do it." Naruto drawled his words. "But I. Do. Not. Cheat. When. I. Gamble. I'm good. I'm very good, I just might be the best. I don't NEED to cheat. Get me, Inuzuka? So don't go fuckin' insulting my skill, okay?"

"I get ya, I get ya. Sheesh." Hana rolled her eyes. "Aren't you touchy about that."

"Don't." The blond warned her tersely.

"Don't mind him, he gets all prissy when somebody accuses him of cheating at cards." Sasuke - finally resurrected from his blankets and in male form again - drawled, sipping cold tea.

"I'm NOT prissy, bastard!" The blond glared at his friend. "I'm just getting tired of people thinking I'm cheating!"

"Yes, yes." The Uchiha heir waved his hand dismissively. "Whatever. Go and eat ramen or something. You've got a busy day ahead of you."

"Well at least I won't have to go shopping with you." Naruto said cheerfully. "Now that is one silver lining I can definitely live with." He paused. "Wait, no. It is fucking golden!"

"You are also going to miss two hot babes in really sexy stuff." Sasuke smirked.

"... 'two hot babes in really sexy stuff'?" Hana looked at Sasuke suspiciously.

* * *

"You are, of course, kidding." Hana said flatly, looking at the slinky, skimpy, if quite elegant apparel given to her. To call it skimpy would be actually an euphemism - it was a tight and small red number that was barely large enough to call it 'somewhat decent'. While Hana wasn't particularly shy about showing off her body... Well, this was a little much.

"Nope." Sasuke-chan whistled cheerfully, grabbing a cobalt blue qipao for herself, only to frown and gaze thoughtfully at a skimpier, forest green version that she had thrown to Hana. "Try this on."

"And why should I?"

"Because it might net you a million ryo or more for some leg and cleavage alone?" Sasuke said offhandedly and Hana stiffened.

"...why you little...!" The kunoichi reached for her kunai

"Not _that_ way!" Sasuke-chan frowned. "Geeze! Calm down!"

"Talk. FAST. And it better be good." The Inuzuka woman growled dangerously.

"Private game. Casino. Distraction. Scam. Millions in cash."

"...okay, so maybe not quite that fast." Hana admitted grudgingly.

Sasuke snapped several seals, after cautiously dragging Hana off to the side.

"Coral has, aside from casinos, the largest concentration of really damn rich people. Heads of clans, yakuza, corporation owners, nobles, mercs that struck it big, golden children of some military dictators... You name it, they come there. The laws are... looser than in the Elemental Countries proper so nobody really wonders where the cash flows from, as long as it flows. Hence, it is a perfect vacation spot for the rich and influential. If you want to strike it big at gambling, you go there." She raised a finger pointedly. "_But_ if you want to strike it _real_ big, as in millions big, you need big games. Private ones. And to get invited to those, you must have either connections, or ungodly amount of money." She smirked. "Or pretend that you do."

Hana's eyes widened in understanding.

"So you-"

"Yep." Sasuke nodded. "A spoiled, overdressed young man. Loud but with money to burn and two hotties on his arms that just scream 'expensive company'... That's a target if anybody ever saw one. "

"So _that_ is why the dresses, the make up the whole load of this shit." The kunoichi frowned thoughtfully. "So you're a... prop of sorts?"

"We, Hana. We. Two women look better than one. Much better." Sasuke pointed at the dresses. "Those are expensive. Some jewelry and we will look even _more_ expensive."

"A smoke screen, huh?"

"Not only that. Show some leg, move a little, distract, give Naruto a certain..." The neo-girl frowned thoughtfully. "Aura of a careless rich young idiot that can't control his urges, much less his spending. Shameless nouveau riche with money to burn and attitude to match."

The Inuzuka rubbed her chin.

"But such rich fucks are bound to have some shinobi with them. High level probably. One or two won't notice, but... They might see that we are shinobi."

"Oh that is no problem. Even better." Sasuke shook her head with amusement. "I mean, if the brat has enough cash to make _two kunoichi_ seriously think about landing him..." Sasuke-chan chuckled. "And we are going to make it... _loud_." A gleam appeared in neo-girl's eyes, one that made Hana... cautious. "Drink a little here, public display of some shameless affection there, some... excess and show. Silk and satin sheets, champagne, the most expensive drinks and foods and entertainment skirting, or fucking _breaking_ the limits of decency... All glitter, sensual and gold. Dazzle and confuse, lull into a sense of false but warm security and then..." Sasuke's smirk turned predatory. "Then we _bleed_ them for millions in cash!"

Hana blinked.

"It is shameless, underhanded and fucking irredeemably ruthless." She said finally after a moment of thoughtful silence.

"And profitable." Added Sasuke gleefully. "Don't forget profitable."

"And profitable." The older kunoichi nodded, looking at the red dress thoughtfully. "Hmm... I wonder if we can add a slit there to show off more thigh..."

* * *

"Pass."

"Pass."

"Fifty thousand."

"Fifty thousand... And ten more." Naruto slid the tokens forward.

The older man, his hair salt and pepper and face slightly wrinkled, puffed on his pipe calmly.

"Fifty... and another fifty."

Naruto raised an eyebrow.

The pool was already rather high. With what was on the table it would amount to two hundred thousand, easily, and that was far form his first games.

"I see the intent... But I don't see the cash, Katsuhito-san."

"Tough words for a youngster who barely has more than what he put on the table."

"But I do have it." The blond shinobi riposted calmly. "And more, if I need it. While you don't seem to."

"Cocky brat, aren't you?" The older man said with, cocking his eyebrow.

"You two gentlemen shall play... or talk?" The only woman by the table took a drag of her long, thin pipe.

"Ah, Reiko-san... As to the point as always." The man laughed. "Anyway, since our young friend seems to have... doubts." Katsuhito calmly wrote something on a scrap of paper.

Naruto picked it up, cocking an eyebrow.

"Sure of yourself, aren't you?" He said finally. "Those are not money, Katsuhito-san. And I lack time."

"My little business not to your liking, my boy?" Katsuhito said with amusement.

"Lack of time, as I said. I need to be somewhere by the end of a week."

"Ah." The older man nodded. "Though... I'm sure we can work something out."

Naruto rubbed his chin thoughtfully. While he would have liked the cold, hard cash more, there was something to be said about the more... regular profit for the upcoming months. Repat or no... You never knew just when you could use some extra money. Or a safe heaven – a change of scenery was always an... option, sometimes sliding into a rather burning need to lay low and avoid those pesky hunter nin until after the reset ended. Really, Konoha had no sense of humor or respect for science. What was a forest and a house or two in the face of progress and awesomness of scientific advancement? Philistines.

"Tell you what... change it into a five percent profit for the next three months and several meals and board kind of deals redeemable anytime I want, and you have a deal."

"Deal, boy." Katsuhito laughed. "You have guts. Very well! If you win I-"

"I already did." Naruto smiled. "Royal flush."

Reiko chuckled.

"Seems like you will be feeding somebody for free. In every sense of the word, Katsuhito!"

The older man sighed, showing his full house.

"Alas, it appears so." He said with good humor.

As much as he liked gambling, he was a businessman. He never bet more than he could afford to lose, and the game was interesting.

"Then it appears you will be my guest for the period of your stay in our quaint little city, Uzumaki-san." He smiled. "Just as well, just as well. I planned a small party, and it seems you, my young gambler, will be my guest of honor tonight. I invite your companions as well, of course."

Which was just as well, really. He had it planned for several of the wealthier of his clients, yet they were lured away by a banquet at some fat nobles' house.

'Feh. As if some stuffy old baboon can throw such fun party like mine.'

Drinks were already bought, foods and entertainments reserved... It would be a good publicity in a way. The young man cut a swath through the gambling establishments and he would bet there would be people willing to play against him. People with a lot of money to burn. With a bit of luck, Uzumaki's patronage might allow him not only to redeem his losses but actually make a tidy profit on side bets and some added prestige.

'Ah. I love win-win situations.' Katsuhito smiled cheerfully.

Now only thing that was left was to remind the girls that the young guest of honor was to be shown the... full extent of hospitality.

* * *

Naruto quirked an eyebrow.

The girl smiled cheerfully, her yukata hugging her form flatteringly while another giggled behind her fan.

The blonds' eyebrow quirked a little higher, eying the nice spread of food, excellent sake and the air smelling of jasmine incense, the silk privacy screens, the alcoves and the dimmed, discreet atmosphere.

He looked to the older man, and Katsuhito smirked as the girls bowed, letting the three ninja in gracefully.

Hana's eyebrow twitched violently.

"This... is a brothel." She said.

"Of a sort." If Katsuhito was surprised by the Inuzuka woman in his little establishment, he didn't let it show. "Of a most friendly and open sort. Please, honored guests. Eat, drink and taste whatever pleasures this humble house offers."

"Oh. Look. They have fresh takoyaki." Sasuke looked with interest. "And Tengu sake, and... Is that sashimi? And Okonomiyaki. My, my, my..."

Naruto chuckled, rubbing his hands gleefully as one of the girls put some sake in front of him.

"Katsuhito-san... This might be better than taking your cash!" He said cheerfully as the serving girl's hair rubbed over his shoulder slightly as she gracefully moved away.

Hana's eyebrow twitched again.

"I really should have expected something like this, shouldn't I?" She muttered.

"That you should, that you should." Sasuke said benignly, taking a seat by the table.

The Inuzuka woman slumped, muttering something under her breath before taking her place and grabbing some takoyaki.

"Hell, I can at least enjoy it." She murmured. "Master! More tako! And sashimi!" She called out. "Give me that sake warm, and keep it coming!"

"See?" Naruto smiled, chewing some okonimyaki with tempura. "Always look at the bright side of life."

"Indeed." Sasuke smirked as one of the courtesans smiled at him faintly, leaning just enough to see into her cleavage. "No truer words."

"Screw you." She pointed at Naruto. "And screw you as well." She pointed at Sasuke.

"I doubt you'd keep up with one of us. Much less both, honey." Sasuke said with mirth.

Hana blinked, starting to snort, before freezing.

"...You so didn't say what you just said, you sick little perv!" She growled.

Sasuke just hnned, reaching for a bit of food, while eying a courtesan, who stared to tune her samisen.

"...You're just sick." Hana muttered. "Even my idiot brother has more restraint than you."

"Restraint?" Sasuke blinked. "Didn't know mutt was into shibari."

"...You know, seeing as he likes Hinata, this would explain _so_ much." Naruto said thoughtfully.

"Indeed. The girl is, like, an ultimate sub." Sasuke said, nodding sagely. "I don't envy him when Hiashi catches on."

"Eh. Who knows, he might even give his seal of approval." Naruto shrugged.

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow.

"Think about it, bastard." The blond tapped the table. "Shibari is an ancient art. It is an epitome of traditional. Hell, it is more traditional than _Hyuuga_. Now you know how gaga Hyuuga are over anything traditional, right?"

Sasuke blinked.

"You know... that would explain so much." He said thoughtfully.

Naruto looked at the Uchiha scion curiously.

"Hinata is all gaga over you, right?"

The blond sighed, nodding.

"And you said that when you were kid, most of the ANBU attached to watch you were women, right?"

Naruto nodded again.

"So, they were Hyuuga women, we know that much." Sasuke raised a finger pointedly. "Now you said that growing up, Hyuuga girls and women were always nice to you. Hinata all but stalks you, Hyuuga matrons always have a kind - _kind_ - word for you and even that brat Hanabi likes you."

"So?"

"So? _So?_" Sasuke tssked. "Naruto, think a little. If Hyuuga are all traditional, relations between men and women included, and with shibari revelation... Don't you see the significance?"

Naruto rubbed his chin.

"Well, not really, to be honest." He said after a moment.

"Moron." The Uchiha scion rolled his eyes. "Think, Mad Hatter - THINK! Who are you?"

"I am-."

"No. _Who_ are you?" Sasuke pressed.

"Well, I am a jinchuuriki. What has that to-" Naruto's eyes widened. "Wait...! Wait a second...!" He muttered.

"You have the Kyuubi sealed into you. _Bound_ within you." The dark haired man smirked. "The older Hyuuga would know it, while the younger would see the seal." Sasuke's smirk widened. "Now, you have the single most powerful entity to ever walk the earth bound, helplessly, within your body. Held. Bound. Partially by seal, but also by your WILL. By _you_."

Naruto blinked owlishly.

"...whoa." he said finally. "I am like... like..."

"You are the ultimate embodiment of the tradition, twice over. " Sasuke snickered. "As in, the heroic sacrifice, bound by duty, bound by his predecessor and leader, and holding the 'great evil' at bay despite the odds. And THE ultimate alpha male, as they see it. Naruto... You are every Hyuuga female's wet dream!"

* * *

"Hey, it is not so bad." Hana stretched, half sitting, half-lying lazily, popping a grape into her mouth. There were some guests, but the whole upper floor along with the alcove was mostly, save for a few richer patrons, empty. The silk privacy screens and drapes tuned out the noise more than enough, the walls did the rest.

It really wasn't bad. Sure, the beautiful women in loose yukatas with coy smiles and giggles, showing skin all too easy were... well, not her thing, but she resorted to treating them as waitresses. Really. She tred not to look at the fact that Naruto and Sasuke shamelessly 'appreciated' a 'waitress' or two. Or three. Or the fact that one or two were all too flushed after briefly teasing two teenagers. Sitting on their laps to make them blush was one thing, but when Hana started to smell genuine arousal, feminine arousal at that...

'I really, _really_ don't want to know.'

As such, she ignored the brief gropes, the smirk or two, the coy look over the fan, the wandering hands and some 'waitresses' standing closer and lingering more around her two companions than it was decent.

'Decent? It is a brothel, goddamnit.' She popped another grape. 'Decent. Feh.'

Though she had to admit one thing. Courtesans or no, brothel or not... Those two little lechers weren't just talk. Not by the musky smell she noticed when Sasuke groped that cute little thing in that blue yukata.

The girl came onto the Uchiha heir with a teasing smile and challenge in her eyes that Hana new well. She had used it herself, when she put down an uppity little boy who thought he was enough for her. Only this time...

Hana shook her head when she noticed the girl breathing hard and stiffening, as she bit her lip.

The kunoichi studiously ignored the fact that Sasuke's hands weren't really in the open at that very moment.

A short while later, the woman squeaked, fleeing, while Naruto snickered, rising a saucer as if in toast.

Sasuke toasted back and Hana turned her head away.

She really didn't want to know. Really.

"I told you." Naruto, who was next to her, took a sip from his saucer. "Relax. Take it easy. Enjoy the moment. Those girls are really good." One of the women leaned over his back, her breasts pressing into the blonds' back as she poured alcohol into Naruto's saucer with a wink and the ninja smiled, nodding to her.

The Inuzuka eyed the scene, before taking a sip of alcohol herself.

"You really have no shame, do you?" She said, alcohol and food, along with music and the strangely hazy, dimmed atmosphere of the place lulling her senses into comfortable, mellow flow. "She is, what, twenty?"

"So?" Naruto looked at Hana with amusement.

"Arguing with you is pointless, isn't it?" The kunoichi sighed, leaning on her elbow and motioning for more sake.

"After this amount of booze?" The blond cocked an eyebrow. "Lost cause."

"Thought so." Hana eyed the blond taking a large sip. "Man, you drink like a _fish_, yet you don't look all that drunk."

"I metabolize toxins at an extraordinary rate." The jinchuuriki said with a shrug, swirling the alcohol as he observed two young courtesans setting up something and dimming some candles.

"I say." Hana muttered, looking forward with interest. "What are they doing?"

"Something that is as tempting as it is artistic, my friend." Katsuhito smiled, before looking at Hana. "Though I dare say it would be more tempting to our two young friends and me than you."

The kunoichi raised an eyebrow.

"Oh really?"

"Indeed."

Hana's nose twitched a little as she drew in a heavier, more aggressive and sweeter scent.

"...huh?" She eyed one of the women, now in a very skimpy, almost see-through silken yukata kneeling by the edge of the room. The brunette, the very same who was pouring Naurto's sake earlier, winked at the blond and pulled out a small... drum? Hana noted with surprise that another courtesan reached for a flute, another for a samisen...

The drum started off. Gently, steadily, but growing into louder, though still slow beat. One after another, one after another the second and third drums joined in, followed by the flute.

The kunoichi blinked, hearing the instrument weaving itself into the beat. The melody was unexpectedly low, but also unlike anything she had ever heard. It flowed from higher to lower in keening, but pleasant cadences that spilled over like honey over her enhanced senses.

Hana saw Naruto blinking, before leaning forward with interest while Sasuke frowned a little bit, putting down his sake.

It was at this moment when her attention was stolen by sound of bells resounding.

Her eyes went to the source and she all but choked on her sake.

The woman was voluptuous, though not outrageously so. Her skin was a little darker than the usual, but not by much. Her long red tresses were falling down her bare back - and considering just what she was (or rather wasn't) wearing, it had to be bare. The silk was tight in most places, loose is a few - every bit placed just the way to suggest everything there was to suggest and show off every quality there was to show off. From the gentle curve of the woman's hip, to her considerable bust. Though she wasn't naked, she didn't need to be. Hana would say that being naked would make less of an impact than the outrageous, nearly see through get up did. It looked to consist of several vertical strips of silk, for kami's sake, along with unexpectedly billowy sleeves -kami knew what for- a slitted, irregular scarf that served as a sort of a skirt, but it wasn't it. It swayed, mocking and inviting, whisper of silk, like her sleeves did, enhancing each move.

She was barefoot, but her ankles bore ankle rings with...

Hana blinked.

'...Bells?'

Indeed, bells. Several odd, if small, ones. She had them on her ankles and on her wrists, slivery bracelets showing them off with every move. There was even a bell on a tasteful black collar around her throat.

She stood, unmoving for a few moments, and then she took a step.

The bells rang.

Then again. And again.

The beat pulsed, Hana realized, like a heartbeat. The flutes wove their keening, otherworldly song as the courtesan, a spark in her eyes, danced, the bells and her grace only adding to the harmony.

Naruto's palm was striking the table along with the drums, while Katsuhito's hands where clapping along it.

Hana, to her own embarrassment, noticed she felt warmer. It had nothing to do with the fact it was a woman. The sheer animalistic sexuality of the dancer's moves was... well, it was just that. Bare, sexual grace.

'...Gods, I'm gong to _kill_ those two perverts...!' She thought, but still traced the dancer's moving, swaying figure.

* * *

"So, methinks the baby liked it."

Hana growled hearing Naruto's lazy drawl.

"Now now, doggie. Don't be too much of a bitch, eh?" The blond grinned, pouring Hana some alcohol.

"Shut up, you little deviant!" Hana snapped, drinking in alcohol greedily.

"Geeze, Hana-chan... relax." Naruto chuckled. "Don't worry. Nobody will think any less of you, you know?" The somewhat glazed cerulean eyes gazed at her with amusement. "It is a place to relax, to unwind... to appreciate life. Nobody will blame or judge you."

As if to illustrate his point, one of the courtesans who were passing through threw Hana an open smile and another sent her a look over a fan.

Hana winced internally. She was no prude, but...

"Relax." Naruto sighed. "Drink some more, eat a little bit. Smile at the girls, invite them over, even if just to talk." He leaned over, an older woman (the very same she noticed around Naruto past those hours and gave him grief over) smiled, popping a grape into blonds' mouth. Naruto's lips gripped her finger for a second as her touch lingered and she smiled at him, before calmly licking it.

Hana reddened while Naruto just shook his head and let the woman lean on him.

The kunoichi sighed, opening her mouth, before frowning.

'...wait, he is too short to-' She eyed the teenager, noticing that, yes, he seemed... taller. 'Not just taller.' She realized. 'Older'.

She looked at the slightly changed blond carefully, the realization finally getting through the alcohol. At first she thought it was just a genjutsu, so she didn't comment on it, but as she saw the courtesan whisper something to Naruto's ear even as she traced the edge of the ninja's cheek, she realized that whatever it was, it was REAL.

'...Like Sasuke's...' She realized absently, before frowning and looking towards the empty seat. 'Huh. And where IS the second depraved perv? Come to think of it, I didn't see him ever since that... dance.' She looked at Naruto. "Hey, perv."

Naruto spared her a lazy glance.

"Where's the girly boy?"

Naruto turned to the empty seat, before frowning, a spark of interest in his eyes.

"...You know, I have no idea." He muttered finally. "Probably having fun, though."

"Fun? But the food and entertainment is here..." Hana trailed off as the realization dawned. "...Oh."

"Yeah. Oh." The blond leaned to the courtesan on his side. "Baby, be a sweetie and pour our dear, if a tad bewildered Hana some more wine, would you?"

"With pleasure, Naruto-kun." The courtesan leaned, pouring the bewildered woman some more sake. "Here you go, Hana-chan."

"...chan, is it?" The Inuzuka heiress muttered, before taking a large sip. She stretched, reaching for the grape, only to be surprised by a graceful hand putting one gently. She eyed a young woman, the very same who smiled at her shyly earlier on sitting on her side. The kunoichi quirked an eyebrow.

"Hell, whatever." She muttered.

Naruto smiled, saluting her with a cup of jiu Katsuhito managed to get somewhere.

She barely managed to grab her own cup and relax, a lazy, disturbingly familiar beat resounded again. But... different this time. Slower, but at the same time more... frantic. Not as neat, not as smooth. The flute was sharper, almost aggressive, comparing to the earlier soft tone.

The keening sound wasn't merely background now, but it had its own rhythm. Before was a pulse, now it was almost a hammering one, but one with more melody. The sound wasn't unpleasant - rather exotic and almost hypnotic.

Hana cocked her head and looked at Katsuhito, who frowned.

"...Now that's odd." The owner muttered. "I don't remember that point..."

"Well, what can it-" The bells resounded, and Hana's ears traced the source. Eyes followed.

The silks were like before, if darker and in shades of crimson, more blood and fire than simply red. The bells were hung on polished steel the collar now pure leather with a single silver bell.

But... the woman.

'...no. Not even HE would be so...!'

The raven tresses spilled down her back, her body both voluptuous and toned in that way only kunoichi managed. Full breasts swaying with each hypnotic move. The grace was there, but it wasn't the grace of a dancer. It was swaying, hypnotic grace of a killer, the serpentine grace of kunoichi. Beautiful and deadly at the same time, each move soft, yet sharp. Fluid, yet strong.

"...oh...gods..." Hana said weakly as she was met with a proud, almost haughty gaze of the onyx orbs.

"Ah. So _that's_ where he was." Naruto nodded, snapping his fingers.

The bells resounded as Sasuke moved, liquid fire catching the dry wood. It was graceful, but it was not the grace of a river, or a willowy grace of a previous dancer. Fire. Fire all over.

The drums gave the pulse and the rhythm, the bells following the step swaying, the crimson patterns moving and weaiving, the fabric rustling, whispering and looking as if it burned. Sasuke-chan's hand flashed with silver, her spin bringing twin moons to life.

It was only then that Hana noticed he... she (_whatever!_) had twin, steel yet polished to shine fans in her hands.

She moved them with a lazy, sinuous grace, the light refracting on them, as if she fanned the flames on her body, bringing them higher, the keening sound if flute and the drums echoing with a crackle of fire and a whine of wind to turn the illusion stronger even more.

Each move was open, fluid and graceful. The silks murmured their own song, moving all over her body, covering and revealing, as the muscles danced under unblemished, silken skin. The grace of a killer was almost otherworldly and Sasuke was more serpent than human.

A tempting serpent, one coiling without shame and with naught but a sense of promise that was hypnotic in its call.

Hana felt a heat erupting on her cheeks as the half lidded obsidian eyes traced her.

There was bare, animalistic sexuality here. Nothing overtly vulgar, nothing like a simple strip tease or even a pole dance. Every move was made between fight and temptation, between life and death. Between 'die' and 'live forever'. It would have a strong impact on anyone, but for a shinobi who knew what it took to kill, what it felt like to take a life...

Sinuous. Graceful. Deadly. Hana would swear Sasuke-chan was angling to go into a taijutsu stance before being completely open and vulnerable and inviting a second later. Fans only added to that pattern that seemed to have none. Steel. Steel, silk and a fragrance of spice and jasmine that permeated the air.

The Inuzuka Heiress managed to reign herself in just enough to notice she was breathing hard and her cheeks were burning.

Hell, her _body_ was burning.

It was honey and wine put on fire, like a scarf made of steel. It was death and sex in one package, topped with a dark smirk and those half lidded eyes that flashed crimson briefly as they looked at her, proving that yes - this _was_ the Uchiha heir.

"...oh my god... What is... she _thinking_...?" Hana muttered, her lips so dry suddenly she had to lick them.

Her eyes widened as the heavy, spicy scent with briefest hints of burning embers engulfed her, silks and raven tresses mixing as they caressed her face.

The kunoichi hissed in a breath as the steel fan's edge caressed her cheek, before sliding down to her jugular.

Her senses where overwhelmed as the scent intensified. The drums resounded, her own blood hammering in her ears along with them, the bells, so close to her ears, almost deafening, the silks encompassing, the scent leaving her light headed and full of that raw, painful need...

Sasuke-chan smirked, leaning down, a dark glint in her eyes, sharingan blazing briefly.

The cold steel burned, half between caress and pain, before moving away, and Hana didn't know if that relentless, tense feeling welling deep inside her was anger for the spectacle or the need to howl in dissapointment for the loss of it. Her senses were screaming, her heart was beating like hammer of the forge of some mad god and any coherent thoughts took their leave of absence. She slid down to her seat bonelessly, dazed, confused and liquid fire in her veins slowly subsiding into slow burn. Slow, but burn none the less.

She barely noticed the fact that Sasuke, mouth stretching into a faint grin, moved to Naruto, body swaying and moving with that inhuman, seprentine grace.

The blonds' eyes didn't leave the onyx orbs even as he smirked, even as the fan traced a pattern only the sharingan could seen on his face, yet not touching it for a moment.

The cerulean eyed didn't blink even as the edges of the tessen sang their song as they swooped for his throat... only to fold, giving it a briefest of touches that seemed not quite there, as if it was just imagined.

The fans slid over the wrists gracefully, tugging on the fabric with a whsiper, the silver half moons ance again fanning the fires of crimson silk, only to vanish, as if snuffed out.

Sasuke winked, before sashaying away.

The beat faded, slowly even as the dancer left, the silks fading with the same, otherworldy whisper they appeared.

Hana stared at the place the Uchiha heir, currently female, vanished for a long time.

"I think I know why you are so disturbed by her now." The Inuzuka woman said numbly.

Naruto swirled his sake thoughtfully, looking into it as if to find every answer there, before he looked at Hana.

"Want to know a secret?" He said finally. "When the chips are down, when the booze flows, and the beat goes on..." The cerulean eyes sparked with something that made Hana uneasy, as much as his grin made her pause. "I don't see Sasuke - just a really hot woman."

Hana stared at Naruto for a long moment with an odd expression on her face.

"...that is so wrong and so right at the same time." She said finally.

"You're telling me?"

* * *

Sasuke now in a dark blue yukata, one of the fans in her hand, sat on her place with a happy sigh.

Naruto quirked an eyebrow.

"Itched to do that, didn't you?"

"Of course. I mean, would _you_ let a seal or two stand unfinished?" Sasuke shrugged, reaching for sake.

"She wasn't half bad, you know."

"Please." Sasuke-chan scoffed. "That girl was an amateur. How could I let it stand? There is an art to each move, the sexuality and intent, the desire and temptation... She only managed to scrape the surface."

"Bullshit. You just wanted to show off." Naruto said cheerfully.

"Well, that too." Sasuke-chan grinned shamelessly, before blinking as one of the serving girls laid a delicate, expensive-looking bottle on the table. "I didn't order that?" The Uchiha raised an eyebrow.

"Forgive me, but the gentleman from the table in the corner asked you to enjoy it, and to grace his table." Sasuke-chan frowned, looking to the corner, noticing a tall man in his fifties sitting with some of his compatriots, several impassive looking men who looked like guards around his table.

"...'Grace his table'?" Sasuke snorted. "Take it. I don't want it."

"...Madam... I..." The girl licked her lips. "This man is Baisotei Gihei-dono. He is the most influential man in the region and... his favor is-"

"Tell him that I do not wish his favor, nor glances he sends me." Sasuke-chan said dismissively. "There is but one worthy of my attention here, and he is not that person." She made a decisive, cutting move with her fan. "Go."

The woman paled a little, but bowed, taking a bottle.

"You are making an enemy." Naruto pointed out lazily

"All the better." Sasuke said blandly "I have been looking for excuse to kill him. His roving eyes disgust me."

"Ooh. Testy, testy." The blond chuckled, before rising an eyebrow and looking to the corner table. "Hmm. Methinks you got what you wanted." He observed, looking at the angry-faced Gihei glaring at their table.

"Of course I did." Sasuke said matter of factly. "I always do."

Naruto sighed, leaning back.

The courtesan next to him licked her lips nervously, slightly sliding away, only to stop as she felt a gentle, yet firm tug on her hair.

"Now now." Naruto murmured. "Where do you think you're going? The fun is just starting."

"That man... He's yakuza." The woman whispered. "You really should leave. He is very powerful, and I heard he employs some nukenin. Even a chuunin or two, if rumors are to be believed."

"Honey, really... I don't care if he has Mist Seven on his payroll." The blond said with amusement. "More sake."

"This isn't needed. Come away to our rooms. Katsuhito-sama won't have you paying. Come..." She tugged, only to blanch as the blue eyes turned cold.

"I said, more sake." Naruto said blandly. His fingers pressed into Maya's spine and the courtesan's eyes widened, her entire body stiffening as a wave of almost painful pleasure hit her. "And keep it coming." He whispered into her ear.

Maya nodded dazedly, her body still shivering slightly, nerves almost raw with pleasure that was slowly fading away.

Sasuke chuckled, snapping her fan open and covering her mouth.

"Orgasm points? And a chakra spike... Really, Naruto. How lazy."

"It works." The jinchuuriki shrugged.

"Ah, that it does, that it does." The Uchiha heiress nodded with amusement, before looking up at two grim faced men. "Move away. This is a private party."

"Oyabun extends invitation." The taller one said, touching Sasuke's shoulder. "Move."

"Actually... Regarding the last one, I was about to tell you the same." The Sasuke tapped the yakuza's hand with her fan. "Move it or I will break it."

The grip tightened, to a point it would bruise any civilian woman.

"Oyabun-"

There was a long, wet cracking sound, and the thug paled, opening his mouth to scream, only to choke as the fan hit his throat.

"Feel lucky I am in a good mood. You will live."

"As a cripple." Naruto pointed out, motioning to the broken, limp arm.

"I didn't cut it away, now did I?" Sasuke said blandly, before looking at the second thug. "Shoo." She shooed the second thug away with her fan. "Tell that trash over there that if he annoys me once more I will break him."

"And you tell me I lack finesse?" The jinchuuriki said dryly as he watched the thug go away.

The neo-girl shrugged, taking a sip of sake, only to sigh as Gihei's tall figure loomed over her.

"You did hear from your lackey what I will do to you, right?" She said in a bored tone.

"So, you fancy yourself a fighter?"

Gihei looked to be in his late fifties, and had a tall, powerful frame of a man half his age. His face was as if cut out from a piece of rock - solid, all angles and gouges, obviously this man had seen combat judging by his scars.

"I like that in a woman." He said approvingly.

"They just don't listen, do they?" Sasuke muttered to Naruto.

"Come now. Girl of your quality needs a man, a true man not a little boy." He put his arm on Sasuke's posessively.

"They don't learn too well either." Naruto shrugged, ignoring the oyabun.

The fan moved, the crunch repeating nearly verbatim, though less noisily.

Gihei paled, falling to his knee.

"...You... bitch...!" The yakuza hissed out, cradling his broken arm. "You fucking little...!" He snarled.

"If you don't move away, I will burn out your roving eyes and kill you." Sasuke snapped her fan open, waving it gracefully though without haste, her tone as bland as if she was discussing the weather.

"...You little...!" The oyabun was helped up by several of his guards, who jumped up to assist him. "So, you are kunoichi, huh? Think you're so fucking tough you filthy little whore?" He sneered. "I had kunoichi before and I _broke_ them all, you bitch!" His mouth twisted. "After my men are done with you, you will _beg_ me to have you!"

Naruto quirked an eyebrow curiously.

"You really want to die so badly, don't you?" He said with amusement. People's lack of self-preservation instincts when it came to dealing with Sasuke never got old. Naruto himself was amaster of annoyance, but what his friend was capble of, especially as a girl, took the cake. Sometimes Naruto thought that Sasuke could piss of people just by existing. Of course, the mindgames the Uchiha was so fond of and penchant for trouble they both shared also played a role. Or, like now, took the center stage.

Not that either of them minded.

"Harada! Kazuma!" The oyabun snapped. "Take care of that bitch!"

Two middle aged men, moving noticeably smoother than the rest, got up from the table. One reached under his jacket, producing a kunai, while another calmly started to move his hands in seals.

"You really want to die." Naruto sighed. "Sake." He stuck out the saucer to Maya.

Hana snapped out from her stupor, rising as she eyed the two men warily.

"Sit down." Naruto stared at her.

"Those are-"

"Sit. Down." Naruto sighed, tapping Hana's saucer. "Drink. Enjoy the show."

Reluctantly, Hana followed the request.

Sasuke didn't even bother getting up as the kunai came sailing at her, instead simply deflecting it with her fan.

"So, you aren't that bad, bitch." The thrower said with a smirk. "See how you-" He chocked as the thrown yo-yo twisted around his neck.

"Do you know what happens to a man hit by lightning?" Sasuke said calmly, her hand sparkling with bluish crackle. Her mouth twisted into nasty smirk. "The same what happens to everything else."

The jutsu exploded from her hand and traveled over the metal string, frying the nukenin where he stood before he even realized it. His corpse had a look of almost compical suurprise even despite the sheer voltage that killed him.

The second shinobi's eyes widened, and he growled, his hands snapping a quick seal, a suiton jutsu erupting from his mouth, only to be turned into vapor by a swift fireball.

"Jutsu? A Low-class, pitifuly exectued Suiton against me?" Sharingan blazed to life. "You are, of course, kidding."

"...But... But...!" The ninja sputtered. "You...! This is imp-"

With a loud crunch, the yo-yo bit into the head, spikes piercing the skull even as the blunt parts crushed it.

Sasuke-chan snapped her yo-yo back, glaring at the crowd of thugs.

"Unlike you, the vast majority of stupid, retarded, moronic and just plain _ugly_ people, mine is the face that would launch a thousand ships, body that kings would kill and die for, and skill that would make legends _weep_ with envy!" The neo-girl snapped her fan elegantly. "Comparing to you, simpletons of the worst sort and ape-like countenance, Sasuke-chan is on a whole other scale! A whole _different_ scale!" She covered her mouth with the fan. "Ohohohohohoho!"

Naruto quirked an eyebrow as he watched the thugs break and flee so rapidly they almost fell over each other in the haste to get out of the brothel.

"Hmm... I wonder what did it." The blond rubbed his chin. "The casual ease she displayed killing two chuunin or the laugh?"

He looked to Hana, who was just sitting by and chugging her sake with raw determination worthy of a better cause.

"Ah. You _do_ have a point." The jinchuuriki snapped his fingers. "Sake! Music! I want to get wasted and have some _good_ memories!" He leered at the courtesan next to him.

Maya just blinked owlishly, until stiffening and whimpering as a spike of pleasure so intense it made her dizzy sparked through her again.

"Keep it coming." Naruto smirked, tapping her spine again, sending her into shivers as a moan escaped her lips. "Keep it coming, eh?"

* * *

TBC...

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

Edited by Skelethin and Ceyx0991.

Special thanks go to Cornuthaum, Nightelf, Typhonis, Vasey, Yasuhei, MageOhki, Aleh and TFF in general for comments and help. You know who you all are.

* * *

Reload

Chapter 5

* * *

"Grim tales."

* * *

The sounds of a samisen drifting in the air caused Naruto to open his eyes lazily.

"Good morning."

"...Sasuke." The blond stretched, looking to the side. Sasuke-chan was sitting by the window, a thin, silk yukata loose on her as her fingers deftly moved on the strings of the samisen.

The Uchiha cocked her head, looking at the blond with a smirk, before her eyes traveled to the side, at the naked courtesan, covered only by the thin veil of silk.

"Hmm. Only one?" The kunoichi chuckled.

"I just needed some company tonight." The jinchuuriki shrugged, reaching for the sake on the nightstand.

"You could have asked me." The heiress pointed out, amusement in her onyx orbs.

"I'm so not having this conversation." The blond muttered, sipping the alcohol lazily. "Had your fun?"

"Ah that, yes." Sasuke turned back to her samisen. "I think they are still asleep."

"Good for you." The jinchuuriki poured some alcohol to the saucers. "Want some?"

"I won't say no." The Uchiha gracefully accepted the drink.

"Of course you won't." Naruto snorted, taking a sip.

Sasuke-chan just chuckled.

"Where's Hana?"

"Asleep. Drank herself to oblivion, our little bitch did." The neo-girl shrugged.

"After that stunt you pulled?" Naruto said dryly. "I don't blame her."

"You're saying that like it was a bad thing." Sasuke-chan cocked an eyebrow. "You enjoyed it as much as I did."

"I enjoyed it as much as I was, as ever, disturbed by it."

"Liar." Sharingan blazed briefly with amusement.

"And what if I am?" Naruto drawled. "You are a greater one."

"I have no need to lie." The kunoichi smirked. "You know that."

Naruto shrugged, pouring them some more sake.

"And that is why I like you like that." Sasuke-chan laughed lightly. "Half drunk, lazy and sated... Or are you?" The red eyes narrowed, the crimson lips baring teeth.

"You and your games." The jinchuuriki growled, his eyes flashing red, pupils slitting. "You are a real piece of work."

"Pot, this is kettle." The neo-girl said, pursing her lips. "I'd hate to say it but... There is something about your new, dark color that just... bothers me."

"Ah shut up." The blond muttered, draining his saucer.

"You'd get bored too easily if I did."

"So would you." Naruto pointed out.

"Now, now... Naruto-kun." Sasuke-chan chided, a dark glint in her eyes as her sharingan kept spinning. "You wouldn't like me to be bored, now would you?"

The blond snorted, the angry red fading into violet, to finally diminish into cerulean.

"Got attached to that yukata, I see." He said, changing the topic.

"Yes. Red is certainly my color." Sasuke-chan traced the edge of the sleeve lightly. "I bought a few quite nice ones, this time around. Shops here are very good, and the seamstresses can work some amazing things."

Naruto frowned.

"I don't like that tone, bastard." He said dangerously.

"Now, now. I told you you should dress better." She smirked. "Now you will."

Naruto scanned the vicinity of the room, already half-knowing what he would find even before his eyes caught the expensive looking shirt, pants and haori.

"Where are my clothes, bastard?" He snapped.

"Bitch, dobe. Bitch. How many times should I tell you?" Sasuke-chan sighed. "Your clothes are..." She shrugged. "Well, they were."

"...I so hate you at times." The blond glared.

"Yes, so you told me. Repeatedly." The neo-girl went back to her samisen. "But you know what they say about hate and love, hmm? A thin..." She traced a string of samisen. "A very thin line."

"I knew I shouldn't have taken you with me here." The blond growled. "It is one of those moods, isn't it?"

"Now what a cruel thing to say, Naruto-kun." Sasuke-chan pouted. "I'm just practicing, you know. To be as good little kunoichi lover as I can be. A sensuous femme fatale of a most... convincing shade."

"You don't need to practice." The jinchuuriki snorted.

"Ah, my. What a kind thing to say." The Uchiha smiled serenly.

"You are really annoying that way, you know?" Naruto said finally after a long pause.

Sasuke just threw him an amused look.

"Of course, what was I thinking." The young shinobi said dryly. "I can't win that, can I?" He sighed, grabbing the clothes.

"You can certainly try." Sasuke-chan said with amusement.

"Yeah, that would be just fine and dandy for you, now wouldn't it." The blond muttered, putting on the robe, when a soft knocking interrupted him.

"Come in!"

A second later shoji moved, a young courtesan walking in with a sealed scroll in hand.

"Forgive me, honored customers, but you have a letter." She said softly. "The messenger said it was urgent."

Naruto looked at Sasuke, who just shrugged.

"Now that's interesting..." The blond muttered, grabbing and unsealing the small scroll, unrolling it.

A second later a faint growl could be heard as Naruto's eyes narrowed.

"Now that doesn't sound good." Sasuke quirked an eyebrow.

Naruto threw her the scroll.

"'Dear gambler. If you haven't noticed by now I-'" Sasuke muttered, scanning the letter, before halting.

"...That bitch took our _money._" Her eyes narrowed. "Who is Yamada Reiko anyway? No, wait. I don't care. Where does she live so I can go there and kill her?"

The courtesan blanched.

Naruto frowned, looking at her.

"You know something." He said.

"No I-"

"You know something." Sasuke's hand snapped, grabbing the girl's hair, sharingan wheels spinning angrily. "You. Will. Tell. Me." She hissed. "Who is that wretch who dares to move against us?"

"Sasuke!" The Uchiha glared at the blond. "Don't break her." Naruto cautioned.

"Don't worry. I'll reserve that for the Reiko bitch." The Uchiha purred, before looking into the terrified courtesan's eyes. "You _will_ tell me all you know."

"I... Can't. Reiko-sama... She will..."

"Wait. Reiko... Reiko... A tall woman in her late twenties, fondness for a long pipe and that odd, lemon-scented tobacco...?"

The scared eyes looked at him.

"I met her." Naruto growled. "She was one of the people by the poker table. Cool, calm. Very good. Is that her?"

"Please, don't make me-"

"That woman not only holds all my winnings, she also kidnapped Katsuhito, if that letter is right. She is holding your boss, girl." Naruto snarled. "Where. Is. She?"

The courtesan swallowed heavily.

"This is a waste of time." Sasuke muttered, grabbing the girl's chin, sharingan blazing in her eyes.

The woman stiffened, her eyes glazing.

"Now..." The Uchiha heiress purred. "You will tell me all you know, girl."

* * *

The step was calm, measured.

"I have heard an interesting story from one of the girls." The yo-yo moved in a lazy arc.

"A story?" The blond eyebrow rose. "You actually listened to more than moans?"

"Well, shibari is fun this way." Teeth flashed in a small smile. "Anyway... They say that once upon a time, there was a samurai. No one remembers his name now, but he was here."

"So?"

"Easy, easy. I'm getting to it." Sasuke-chan chided, yo-yo making another pass. "Anyway, Sunflower was a heaven for pirates, thugs and prostitutes. Lawless and dirty, a den of villainy."

"Oh, I like it already." Naruto chuckled.

"Of course you do." Sasuke snorted. "Anyway, the samurai who came here was famous and quite strong. He was ordered by one daimyo or other to cut out the 'cancer' that was festering here. Obedient, like a good little dog that he was, he came and did just that."

"Now that must have been some samurai." The blond bit into his steaming teriyaki. "All alone, against scores of thugs? Kinda don't buy it."

"It is just a fairy tale, you know." Sasuke chided. "Don't spoil it, Naruto."

"Sorry."

"Anyway, the samurai succeeded into killing some minor oyabun or two, but at the heart of it was a man, Genzo. Genzo, seeing his forces and life in peril, concluded a brilliant plan - or as brilliant as a simpleton yakuza overlord can. He had a daughter - a very beautiful young woman by all accounts. The details are sketchy - some say he pushed his daughter to do it, some say the daughter offered - but the result is always the same. He wanted to use the daughter to seduce the brave samurai and lead him to his doom. The daughter fell in love with samurai however, and instead of leading him into the ambush, she led him out of danger. Then, with the samurai indignant and angry, she led him to the palace, where the mighty samurai cut Genzo down, ending his empire of crime with one, swift cut of his katana. The beauty and the hero decided to marry the same day. The grateful daimyo offered the title and position to his former retainer, elevating him and his wife in status - after all who could keep such a lawless and dangerous place in check but the hero?"

"Kinda sucks that fairy tale of yours, you know." Naruto threw away the leftover stick before reaching for the bottle of sake he took from the brothel.

"Ah, ah, ah!" Sasuke tssked, yo-yo spinning in an elaborate pattern. "And who said I was finished? Anyway, on the day of the lovely, romantic matrimony, the groom felt weak. He thought nothing of it - after all, he had long weeks of fighting after him. But he wasn't just weak - he was ill. In fact, he was so ill he suddenly couldn't hold his sword as the blushing bride calmly stabbed him in their bed during their night together. After that, the grieving widow took over as the daimyo, consolidating her power over the weakened yakuza, minor lords and nobles in the area, as well as merchant clans and local companies over the years. Her family holds the beautiful Sunflower to this day." Sasuke smirked, yo-yo snapping back. "Sunflower slowly crawled to legitimacy and prosperity, never dismissing its ties to the smuggling entirely, but it was a small price to pay for... legitimate authority. However, they say that when the moon is full, like on their wedding night, the spirit of the samurai dons the armor the 'grieving widow' left on the display to honor her husbands 'bravery' and walks the halls of Sunflower Castle, looking for the blood of his betrayers."

"Blood, betrayal, vengeance... Cute." Naruto said dryly.

"Isn't it?" Sasuke-chan smiled pleasantly, before quirking an eyebrow. "Are those two trying to stop us?"

"Looks like." Naruto eyed the two thugs who moved to intercept them.

"Ah. I thought so."

The yo-yo blurred and the duo passed, the two bodies already cooling, necks broken.

"Time to get our money back."

"Yeah." Naruto's hands shuffled the deck lazily before stopping.

The blond smirked as the card flew, the doors exploding into splinters and sawdust a second later.

"Ah, Queen of hearts. Beautiful, ain't she?"

"Quite." Sasuke's smirk turned predatory.

"Are you getting off on this, bitch?"

"And what if I am?" The yo-yo spun, a tantalizing pattern of red arcs as the spikes ripped the half moon upwards of a yakuza's chest, ripping out his throat.

"Just asking." The deck spread out and the cards flew, a trail of balze and exploding bodies following. "Just asking."

"You bastard you-!"

"Shut up!" Blue eyes narrowed, chain appearing as if by magic. "Dead have no voice!" The segmented weapon howled in the air, the sharp blade on the end cutting the thug in half.

"I'm beginning to really like that chain." Sasuke-chan said with interest, before frowning. "Do watch the blood though, dobe. I just bought this yukata."

"You and your fucking clothes." Naruto rolled his eyes, snapping the chain back, absently throwing kunai to the side, right into a yakuza's throat.

"Some class, Naruto. Just a little bit of it, all I am asking." Sasuke tsked, letting her spiked yo-yo trace an elegant pattern that ended ripping half of a yakuza's face.

"Sure." Naruto shrugged. "Whatever." The chain split. "GET OVER HERE!"

The spike speared two yakuza and Naruto snapped a seal, sending a high-level raiton jutsu through it.

"See, is that so hard?"

Naruto shrugged again, snapping the chain into its original configuration and back.

"Want class? Okay." He let the chain back into the storage seal, drawing a scroll. "I can do class."

Sasuke chuckled, before breaking into a run and kicking off the wall, yo-yo snagging a hapless yakuza , dragging him right into Sasuke's kunai.

"You really, really, _really..._" The kunoichi murmured into the dying man's ear, "...shouldn't have built that house near the bay."

"Kuchiyose!"

The water exploded, the wave knocking around several thugs like toys.

The azure claws emerged, trailing red as the thugs screamed.

The trident gleamed before skewering the screaming man into silence.

"Why hello there, lovely lady." Naruto smiled at the siren.

Keisei smiled back.

* * *

The trident, a bonafide chakra weapon in its own way, cut through the oaken doors as if through tissue paper.

The Siren frowned, casually swiping her claws out at the nearest yakuza before snarling at another.

"Hello there, Reiko-san." Naruto walked through the doors, glaring at the stunned woman. "I believe you have something of mine."

"Hmm. Nice crib." Sasuke-chan snapped her yo-yo, looking around the well decorated room with interest. "It seems crime does pay."

"...You... You..." The woman swallowed. "What have you-?" She muttered, her eyes wide.

"That's what happens when you take something from us." Naruto's eyes flashed red briefly. "My money. Katsuhito. And I just might kill you quickly. Or I might let her do it." The siren, now again with two legs instead of the tail, smirked, her claws outstretched. "Slowly."

"I..." The yakuza composed herself. "It isn't exactly the meeting I hoped for."

"You take our property, you dare to steal from us and you expected... what?" Sasuke quirked an eyebrow. "Tea and crumpets?"

Reiko's eyes widened as she spotted the spinning wheels of sharingan.

"...You are an Uchiha!" She said with disbelief. "But... But you are all dead, save two! And those are both-"

"So?"

"But... But..." She took a deep breath. "Listen, I admit it wasn't the.. best way, but I just wanted your attention and-"

"And you got it." Naruto growled. "Now, our money and the old man. Or she gets to rip you to pieces, an ounce at a time."

"Don't be so hasty!" Reiko said quickly. "I have a proposition for you!"

"You could have asked like a normal person." Sasuke-chan said blandly, turning back to browsing the contents of the room curiously.

"I couldn't! That's just it! If he got to know...!" Reiko raised her hands. "Listen... Just give me five minutes. I swear I can make it worth your time far beyond whatever money you would get out of my death. I swear it!"

"And we should listen to you... why?" Naruto scowled.

"Because I have your money, that you will lose if you kill me, and because I have your ship all but wrapped in explosive notes that will explode at the merest hint of tampering." She said simply.

Naruto looked at her for a long moment, before grabbing a chair and sitting before her desk.

"Talk. Five minutes." The blue eyes narrowed.

"For the start, my name isn't Yamada Reiko, but Aida Kaede."

Naruto's eyes widened a fraction and Sasuke halted her browsing.

"As in, Aida Omezu, the daimyo of this island?" Naruto asked slowly.

"He is my father." Reiko nodded curtly.

"Now that's interesting." Sasuke-chan said, her eyes narrowing. "You look quite good for a _dead_ woman."

"That's what my father would like you and everybody else to think." The yakuza's eyes hardened. "He tried to kill me, but failed."

"Now this is interesting..." Naruto leaned back in the chair. "And why would he do that?"

"Because I am a bastard. And now that he has a son with his legitimate wife, he doesn't need me around demanding my share."

"Oh yes, The lovely games nobles play - the stabbing in the back between family and arsenic in the tea, with some honeyed venom on the tongues as a nice addition." Sasuke said dryly. "How could I forget?"

"I didn't _want_ that bloody throne." Reiko snapped. "I'd have been happy with some money and being left alone. But that bastard just had to _push!_"

"So... Now you want to push back." Naruto said calmly. "You couldn't have simply hired a shinobi to assassinate him? You don't seem to be strapped for money."

"I learned to live as yakuza." She admitted. "But it is not so simple. I don't have enough money to hire nukenin powerful enough - not without my bastard of a father finding about it. The asshole is cosy with Mist - he pays them off and they pretend they don't see the nuke-nin he hires as his personal guard." She sighed. "No village will bother working for a two-bit yakuza. Damned if I do, damned if I don't."

"And so you turn to... us?" Naruto laughed. "You are either desperate or just plain insane."

"Neither, actually." She said calmly. "You have as much stake in it as I do."

"You think holding money above our heads will work?" Sasuke snorted. "Fool. We just shredded your bodyguards. You think you can keep something from us? You think the likes of you can stop us?" The sharingan blazed angrily. "_Wretch!_ Know your _place!_" She hissed.

"I do. And I'm not talking about the money." Reiko said calmly, though her eyes were wary. "You have killed the pirates on the way here, didn't you?"

Naruto cocked his head to the side.

"So?"

"The captain of one of the ships was son of the head of my bastard father's guard. Moreover, he knows you're here from Gihei." Reiko said simply.

"I knew I should have killed that piece of trash." Sasuke grumbled.

"Masa won't let you leave. Bastrard that he is, he loved his son. He will do his best to capture you and torture you in a worst way possible. Even if you do escape, he will send his men after you."

"Let him try." Naruto shrugged.

Sasuke swung her yo-yo with a smirk.

"Indeed."

"And that is precisely why I want you." Reiko looked at the duo. "I don't know who you really are, I have no idea why are you here for but... You are powerful. You don't bow to the bastard, you don't bow to the Mist, nor are you afraid."

"You are really desperate." Sasuke said with amusement. "You have no idea what we are capable of, or if we are competent enough to do what you want us to."

"I don't." Reiko nodded. "But you are strong. Stronger than anyone I could have gotten my hands on. I am more than willing to risk it."

"And why should we do it?" Naruto folded hand son his chest. "Why risk ourselves? Bounty hunters we can deal with - we already ripped those pirates apart. We can simply kill you, get our money and sail away. I assure you, I can defuse those explosive notes. I am good at seals." The blond smiled. "So why should we?"

"Because once my father is away, I can make it worth your while."

"We have our own way of getting money and it is not like we're strapped for cash." The jinchuuriki riposted. "Try another one."

"It is true, I can't give you all that much money, but there are other opportunities - titles, land grants, slaves, safe heaven... Name it. Now that Gihei is weakened, I can take him out and become the real force here, bigger than my little brother can ever hope to be. If it is within my ability, I will do my best to give you that."

Naruto looked at the woman for a long moment.

"You are serious." He said finally.

"It is my life we're talking about. And I really want that bastard dead." Her eyes hardened. "So?"

"We'll help you."

Naruto blinked, before looking at Sasuke.

"...Excuse me?" He said, narrowing his eyes.

"I said we'll help her." The brunette turned away form the shelves. "Your father will be dead by tomorrow."

"And why should we do that?" The blond raised his eyebrow.

"Simple." Sasuke-chan tapped the ornamental map that was spread the wall. "When all is said and done, we want those."

Naruto blinked.

"We do?" He asked, bewildered.

"We do." Sasuke nodded.

"Okay."

Reiko blinked.

"Just like that?"

"Yeah. Sure. Why not." Naruto shrugged. "As long as I get my cash, I'm cool with it. Otherwise..." Keisei smirked, her long claws leaving gouges on the solid mahogany wood of Reiko's desk.

"Besides, Reiko-san..." Sasuke smiled, grabbing a leather-bound tome from the shelf. "No one who likes Princess Bride enough to have the exclusive silver-branded edition can be so bad."

Naruto just pinched the bridge of his nose while Reiko blinked owlishly.

Keisei patted her master's back consolingly.

"Thanks, honey. Nice to know at least someone is normal here."

* * *

"What are you doing?" Sasuke looked at Naruto curiously.

They went back to the brothel without too much of a problem. Fortunately, Masa or anyone else had figured to attack it as of yet. Hana was still dead to the world - though it was still pretty early. Katsuhito was back and was told to keep silent.

"Well, I got to thinking... We can go in and assault him. We can go the assassination angle, but we need to kill him and those rogue 'guard' assholes, right?"

Sasuke nodded.

"Well, I don't want the... publicity." The blond grimaced. "At least not under our own names."

"Who cares." Sasuke shrugged.

"I care." Naruto snapped. "My ramen festival cares, my Suna fesitval really, really cares." He glared at the Uchiha heiress.

"Ah. Right."

"So... I've got to thinking." he moved his brush gently over the large scroll. "Actually, your little fairy tale got me thinking." Another line was added to the seals, chakra seeping into the construct. "Remember Bishamon?"

"The... walking armor summoning, or whatever it was? Yes. Little ponderous, from what I remember." The kunoichi muttered thoughtfully, snapping her fan open.

"Well... let's just say I have a fun little idea that can make this all loud, effective... and rather unbelievable." Naruto chuckled. "Very poetic, even."

Sasuke cocked an eyebrow.

"In the poetic justice kind of way." Naruto grinned wolfishly.

"Okay, now I am interested." Sasuke leaned in, looking over the scroll. "What exactly are you planning?"

"You'll see." The blond snickered, rubbing his hands gleefully. "That armor is still on the display, right?"

"From what I heard, yes." Sasuke's eyes widened. "Oh."

Naruto's eyes flashed with glee.

"Think you can work some of that fire in your blood?"

A nasty smirk bloomed on Sasuke's face.

* * *

"Oh. For a former pirate heaven they have really nice palace." Sasuke muttered with appreciation.

"Piracy, smuggling, drugs, yakuza..." Naruto shrugged. "What the hell did you expect?"

"A fortress?" Sasuke looked at the blond "Come on, it is pure logic here."

"Well, it is not a pirate heaven now, is it?"

"Sure it is." Sasuke smirked.

"Ah. Point." Naruto nodded. "Anyway... Let's go and find that armor, okay?"

"According to Reiko, that stand should be..." Sasuke-chan narrowed her eyes, looking at the palace, before pointing at one of the smaller towers. "There. East wing, third from the right, lower floor."

"And several shinobi to go, next to the traps and all other goodies. And I was supposed to relax..." Naruto grumbled.

"Oh don't complain, dead last!" Sasuke-chan smirked. "I'll be there to bail you out of trouble."

"And that is exactly what I am afraid of." The blond muttered. "Let's try not to blow it all up, okay?"

"I am not the one who blew up an entire village here." The neo-girl shrugged.

"It was an accident, for kami's sake! How many times do I have to tell you that, you stupid bitch!"

"Yeah, like the Uchiha Complex." Sasuke rolled her eyes. "Let's just get this over with. We should have been setting sail to Coral a long time ago."

"Eh. You just want to show off in those new dresses." Naruto muttered, breaking into the brisk march up the wall.

"So?" Sasuke shrugged. "You want to hit daimyo's son for all his pocket change and then some."

"Well, true that." The blond nodded.

"See?" Sasuke-chan said with a smile. "Everybody has their simple pleasures."

* * *

"So what is this thing supposed to do anyway?" The Uchiha heir(ess) looked over the scroll that Naruto unrolled and was now placing pieces of armor on with care.

"Patience, Sasuke." The blond snickered. "I just need-"

"Who are you?! What are you doing here?!" The ninja reached for kunai. "This is-"

Naruto's eyes widened.

"Wait Sasuke this is-!"

The yo-yo snapped, spikes turning it into a veritable buzzsaw that ripped the man's throat out.  
The smoke erupted.

"...Kage Bunshin..." Naruto finished lamely.

Sasuke blinked, snapping her yo-yo lazily. She frowned, looking at the dissipating cloud of smoke for a second, before looking at Naruto innocently.

"Sorry?"

The blond palmed his face.

"...So much for peace and quiet..." He muttered. " Just..." He waved his hand.

"Yes, yes. I'll give you some time."

"And don't blow things up this time, okay?"

"Whatever." The kunoichi waved her hand dismissively.

It was barely a second later when the familiar presence of shunshin assaulted Sasuke's senses. True to form, two silhouettes appeared in a poof of smoke, only meet the cords of twin yo-yos.

"Fry." Sasuke said cheerfully, lightning sparking and enveloping the two shinobi in a deadly halo of power.

"Don't waste time! Just barricade that stupid door!" Naruto growled, not looking up from his scroll.

"Feh." Sasuke-chan snorted. "Spoilsport. But I see your point." She admitted, before kicking the large doors. A second later a stream of fire hit the lock, melting it and welding the doors closed permanently.

"Well, that should buy us some time." She muttered.

"Y-you'll never... c-c...come... out... alive..." One of the shinobi rasped.

"Managed to survive?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Raiton user, aren't you?"

"...You... bitch..." The shinobi gasped. "Masa will-"

He screamed as a a casual stomp crushed his knee.

"I am a bitch. And a I couldn't care less what worthless trash like 'Masa' wants." She said blandly.

The bolt of pressured, high intensity flame hit the Kumo nukenin's head.

Naruto just shook his head.

"What?" Sasuke quirked an eyebrow. .

"Nothing. He had it coming."

"And so do we." The Uchiha heiress looked at the bucking door. "They are not using jutsu... Curious."

"Because they don't want to bring down the corridor, I'd guess." Naruto muttered, carefully adding another symbol to the armor.

"Naruto..." Sasuke said warningly.

"I'm doing it as fast as I CAN!" The blond growled, his brush moving quickly over the metal. "I can't rush it anymore! I wouldn't need to rush it at all if not for _you!_"

"Yes, yes. Keep whining some more." Sasuke-chan rolled her eyes.

"Fuck you, bastard." Naruto bit his lip, the brush making another pass over the metal. "I just need..."

"I get it." Sasuke-chan nodded, walking out of the inner display chamber. "I'll hold them off a bit, pull a trap or two. Some genjutsu."

"Good idea." Naruto nodded absently. "I should be done by the-"

Both their heads snapped to the side as the wall erupted into dust and kunai flew like a swarm of angry bees.

Sasuke moved like quicksilver, her fans blurring as she deflected the projectiles.

"So much for not bringing the place down." She said dryly.

"So okay, I was wrong." Naruto growled "Big fucking deal!"

"So, you are the intruders." A tall, well built man walked through the hole several armored shinobi on his sides only to halt, his eyes widening. "Well, well, well..." He looked at Naruto and then at Sasuke. "One blond summoner... and one raven haired slender boy... But you don't look like much of a boy to me, kunoichi."

"And who might you be?" Sasuke's eyes narrowed as she tucked the fans back in her sleeves.

"Ikomatsu Masahiro. Captain of Aida-sama's personal guard." His jaw tensed."I believe you two knew my son, Norihisa."

"Doesn't ring a bell." Sasuke said glibly, her eyes scanning the crowd carefully.

"No? Three ships at the sea, attacked by two shinobi... and decimated almost to the last man save one who managed to flee by pure luck? Three ships blown up to the splinters, along with every man and woman on them, along with a bright and promising shinobi ripped apart and fried to death before he had a chance to defend himself?"

"Can't say I remember. I have killed plenty of trash. One more, one less..." Sasuke-chan shrugged.

"Oh I will make you remember, little kunoichi." Masahiro said softly, his eyes flashing dangerously. "When you scream as I pull you apart piece by piece... You will remember. I _guarantee_ that."

"Masa, what is that commotion in my castle?! I have guests and-" A middle aged man in a fine robe, two shinobi at his sides, stopped gaping at the damage, before reddening. "What is this?!" he thundered. "Who dared to do this?!"

"We seem to have intruders, Aida-sama." Masahiro said blandly.

"Then deal with them!" The daimyo snapped. "This is what I-"

"'Deal' with us?" Sasuke barked a laugh. "You? You're out of your league you little pretender of a lord."

The daimyo paled, before reddening even more than previously.

"You insolent little whore!" He growled. "I will have you suffer for that! Kill them, Masahiro!"

"With pleasure, Aida-sama." The captain said smoothly, drawing a kodachi.

Sasuke-chan smirked, sharingan again blazing to life.

Masahiro frowned, performing a quick kai.

"You're bluffing." He said calmly. "And all Uchiha are dead, save two brothers - you are neither. And this is not a henge or it'd break on kai. You are not Uchiha."

"So you think." Sasuke-chan said smoothly.

"I don't need to think. I'll deal with you easy enough." The captain growled.

"Deal with us?" A smoke erupted from the scroll as Naruto glared up. "_Deal_ with us?"

The paper twisted and crackled as the red chakra licked it, activating seal after seal.

_"Deal with my rider."_

The fire smoke enveloped the corridor.

"Protect Aida-sama!" Masahiro barked. "Block the exits!"

"What happened?!" The daimyo screamed, his voice fearful.

"Please, don't speak, Aida-sama!" Masahiro barked, pouring chakra into his senses, trying to detect the duo, only to frown. '...Sulfur?' He sniffed the air. 'Why would there be-'

He trailed off, tensing as he heard a loud, metallic sound, accompanied by a faint crackling sound.

Steel scraped the wood.

Smell of sulfur intensified even as the smoke dissipated.

The daimyo paled.

"...that's impossible..." He whispered taking a step back, white as sheet. "That's just not-!"

The large figure drew the katana, the armor moving almost gracefully, if menacingly despite its bulk. Two empty sockets of the skull lit by unholy fire that burned, charring the sorroundings yet not harming the armor, flared up.

"...No... No...! You're dead! You have been dead for a century! You're just a myth!"

There was an odd, half blazing, half screeching sound that no human throat could make, and it took Masahiro a good moment to realize that the creature, whatever it was, was _laughing._

"Myth?" The armor rasped.

One of the shinobi moved his hands in seals, only to scream as the blazing hooves craushed his head, melting the skin and bone even as they were grounding it to the floor.

The skeletal figure of the horse, covered in full, if faded, samurai regalia and almost uncommonly complete horse plate, let out a snort of flames.

"...It... it can't be... real...! Masahiro...!" The daimyo squeaked.

The shinobi jerked as a loud laughter erupted, seemingly from every corner of the hall.

"Oh it is very real." The voice said with amusement. "He had been waiting for centuries to have his revenge, wandering those halls as an impotent spirit... It seemed unjust. So I gave him a body."

"That's not possible! No human can do something like this, Aida-sama." Masahiro said coldly. "It is just a trick, a clever use of-

"Well, lookie here. They do have some brains."

Masahiro froze as the malevolent, overwhelming and just plain inhuman chakra filled the room.

He, like every other person, darted his head up, to see the young shinobi from before, accompanied by the kunoichi. Only this time, the blue eyes were blazing, monstrous red, the pupils slitted. The cheeks bore the six long, thin and almost ornamentally curved lines and Masahirio's eyes widened as he saw the clawed hands oozing faint, yet almost overwhelming to his senses miasma of power and malice. His blond hair were stark white now, long and wild, almost feral, spikes falling down on his back.

His fingers moved almost automatically, pouring his chakra to break the illusion, only for the woman next to the blond laugh.

Masahrio turned his eyes to her and swallowed heavily.

The complexion, fair before, was now almost deathly white and he could see the long incisors flashing just before she covered her mouth with a fan.

"This won't help you, little wretch." She chided him. "This isn't genjutsu. This is _real._"

"...How...?" He whispered.

"Not all bijuu are shackled, little ninja." The white haired monster chuckled.

"And not all monsters are bijuu." The crimson lips, so contrasting with inhumanly pale countenance formed a smirk.

"Why are you doing this?!" The daimyo howled. "Why?! What do you want?! Money? POWER?! I will give you everything! Just call this... this thing OFF!"

"We have no need for your money, trash." The demon scoffed.

"As for power..." The woman chuckled, a rich and pleasant sound that would be enchantingly beautiful in other circumstances, but was just plain terrifying now. "This, little man, is power." Her fan pointed at the armor and the katana in the creature's hand lit up with fire.

"Why?! WHY?! WHY _ME?!_"

"You? It was never about you." The monster shrugged. "He had been wandering, mad, howling for revenge on the blood of his betrayers. Naught but a hurt, old and angry myth, a half forgotten fairy tale." The red eyes blazed with dark amusement. "Well, how do you like your myths and fairy tales now, wretch?"

The daimyo backed away as the armor moved.

"No... No...! Stay away!" He shrieked. "You! Shinobi! Protect me!" His voice broke into an indignified screech.

The nuke-nin looked at each other, then at their commander, who was staring at the two figures, transfixed by the sight.

"You... I don't... care what you say you are." He said finally, pointing his kodachi at them. "Be you spirits, monsters or demons... I will have my vengeance! For my son I will-!"

The fan moved fluidly.

Masahiro's eyes widened and he stood still, a long crack appeared, wood and stone chipping off at the height of his throat.

A second later, the captain's body fell backward, his head rolling away.

"You will die like the trash you are." The woman said calmly, before looking at the shinobi. "Though he was right about one thing." Her incisors flashed even as the the misama pouring around her from her companion's aura engulfed her, leaving only two spinning wheels of shraingan turning in the violet tinged cloud of darkness. "All Uchiha save two, both brothers, are _dead._"

Her laughter resounded even as the miasma vanished, taking two monstrous figures with it.

The smell of sulfur erupted, the fires of the armor blazing.

Aida screamed as the flame consumed his world.

* * *

The violet mist crawled over the ground, the darkness departing to leave violet stream and smoke.

"Hoo." Sasuke-chan let out a breath, the inhuman paleness fading as the mist grew dimmer with each step. "Ah man... what a _rush!_" She threw her head back, laughing as the streams circled her.

"Kyuubi's red and your blue..." Naruto sighed, sitting on the nearby rock heavily. "Channeling it through you without letting the toxic energy harm you... Fucking bothersome." He murmured as his red eyes slowly faded into violet, following into blue and the whisker marks on his cheeks coming back to their usual look even as his wild mane regained its sunny shade.

"Ah, don't whine, don't whine." Sasuke smiled closing her eyes and drawing a long breath. "It is better than wine on the cloudless night." The Uchiha chuckled.

"Crazy bitch." Naruto snorted, reaching for his sake.

"You say that like it is a bad thing." Sasuke opened her eyes, looking at Naruto, the remnants of raw mix of the energies still circling around her as she poked him in the chest. "You had fun with that. Admit it."

"Yeah. I did. Still..." He took a large swing from the bottle. "Restraining myself... Bitchy fox, even when asleep it is so bloodthirsty..." He let out a long hiss.

"Well, if we killed them, it would be a waste, right?" Sasuke looked down at the burning wing of the palace. "Now, all they will remember is the fantastic story that no one will really believe." She cocked her head to the side. "Those who will survive, anyway."

"Some will." Naruto threw the bottle to Sasuke. "I left some holes, only leaving a surprise or two. Still... a shame. That was a nice palace."

"Ruled by a fool." Sasuke scoffed, taking a long swing form the bottle. "Good riddance to bad rubbish."

"Heh. So you say." Naruto chuckled, before cocking an eyebrow. "You hair grew again."

Sasuke blinked, tracing the longer raven tresses.

"Ah." She shrugged. "Seems I won't be able to change shapes now for some time." She shook her head with amusement. "That kind of reckless power... Well, I wanted to try those new dresses anyway."

"We wouldn't have to use that if we had time for the proper genjutsu." Naruto got up. "And you say I lack patience."

"Just as well." Sasuke shrugged. "Not like I would, with the Coral thing and all."

"Admit it, you just wanted an excuse." The blond grumbled.

"And I bought some new swimsuits, too!" Sasuke-chan smiled cheerfully. "Come on, let's get our prize." She turned away before vanishing in a soundless shunshin.

Naruto rolled his eyes, following shortly after.

* * *

"...You... what kind of- _what are you?_" Reiko swallowed heavily.

"Oh?" Sasuke cocked an eyebrow. "Noticed that already? Quick, aren't you?"

"My men... in the palace..." The yakuza shook her head slowly, her face pale. "They told me..."

"Don't worry your pretty little head about it, eh?" Naruto sat on the chair, putting his feet on Reiko's desk. "Too much thinking can hurt."

"And curiosity did kill the cat, Reiko-san." Sasuke flashed a lazy smirk.

"Ah." Reiko noded slowly. "I understand."

"Cool." Naruto nodded cheerfully. "Now... I think you owe us something."

"Yes, indeed." The woman regained her composure. "Money is already on your ship and the notes were taken care of. Here is the last part of the deal as I promised." She pulled out an ornate scroll that was snagged by Sasuke.

"I will take that." The kunoichi purred, opening the scroll and scanning the contents. "Well, it seems like everything is mostly in order."

"It is not one hundred percent official yet, but with that bastard gone, I will push it in a day or two, have no worries. The Sanshu no Jingi islands are yours, as we agreed." Reiko looked at the Uchiha heiress curiously. "But I'm still curious... why would you want those pieces of rock? There is nothing there."

"That is not your problem." Sasuke chuckled. "Indeed, it would be better you didn't think about it anymore, hmm?"

Reiko nodded.

"I see." She murmured.

Sasuke smirked, twirling the scroll in her fingers deftly as she turned to the exit.

Naruto kicked away form the desk, standing up.

"Deal's a deal, well bargained and done." He nodded to the yakuza woman and took a step to the door, before halting, and looking at her again. "And Reiko-san...?

The female Oyabun looked at him only to freeze as an overwhelming amount of killer intent chocked the air out of her lungs.

"Dare to take anything from us again..." The blue briefly blazed with crimson. "And we will _break_ you."

Reiko nodded jerkily, unable to so much as utter a word.

Naruto smiled cheerfully, the killer intent fading without a trace, eyes bright and blue again.

"Cool." He said jovially, before walking after Sasuke.

Reiko kept staring at the empty doorway for a long moment, before letting out a shaky breath.

"...Those two... Kami... What was I _thinking...?_" She murmured, her shaking hands reaching for a bottle on her desk. She poured herself a saucer of sake, not caring that she spilled it over the expensive mahogany wood.

She really needed that drink.

It was not everyday one survived a meeting with two genuine monsters after all.

* * *

TBC...

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

Edited by Skelethin.

Special thanks go to Cornuthaum, Nightelf, Typhonis, Vasey, Yasuhei, MageOhki, Aleh and TFF in general for comments and help. You know who you all are.

* * *

Reload

Chapter 6

* * *

"Raiders of the Temple of the Skull."

* * *

/Captain's log, day six of the journey.

The Furou scrolls are doing a good job, even at barely a third of their power we still are doing good time. By the way, I'd like to point out Sasuke's a total wuss - Enterprise can SO take it!/

"We are so not talking about this again, dobe. She's vintage, she stays vintage."

"Bite me."

"Maybe later."

"Would you two freaks kindly shut up and let me tan in peace without even more disturbing mental images? Please?"

/Anyway, as I said, we are making good time. If the weather keeps, we should be in Coral in two days - and that's with the small stop by the way. Especially with Keisei helping. Note to self - check just how much chakra I put into her this time. I didn't bother dispelling her, and she stayed around.

On the other hand, I now know who went fishing three days back. I really need to check just how independent she is - she's sweet, but I could without her dropping a freshly caught fish on my lap every morning. Second note - working on dual-phase summon seals while drunk is really stupid. Really.

Though I have to admit she is a thing of beauty - watching her swim circles around the Enterprise and scaring the fish, along with an odd ship or two we pass by is damn amusing. I really need to check those scrolls, though. She'd been around since we left Sunflower, and so far she doesn't seem to slow down at all./

"Well gee - put Kyuubi-level of overkill into a summon and that's what you get. I told you this was a bad idea."

"Shut up, philistine! Don't worry, my precious. Naruto loves you regardless."

"...I don't know what's creepier - him saying this straight faced to a honest to kami siren or her purring when he rubs her."

"Considering she's anatomically correct?"

"...I so didn't need to know that."

"Feh. Philistines. There there, honey. Naruto loves you."

/Shows what they know. Feh. She's the most awesome example of seal engineering unlike anything done before. But of course, they have no appreciation for true science. Bastards./

"Bitches, blondie. Bitches."

"...Don't you start it, too."

"Hey, I'm Inuzuka. Getting called a bitch is no insult to me."

/...I so hate logic sometimes. Though I'd like to point out, that bitch or not, Hana in a bikini does look good. Damn good./

"You can stop drooling now, you little pervert."

"Hey, there is nothing little about me, lady!

"Feh. Heard that before, brat."

"Actually, he's right."

"Do I want to know how you know that? No, wait, scratch that. I know I don't want to know."

/...No comment! NO COMMENT! Ekhem. Disturbing bitches aside, this trip is proving to be lazier than I thought it'd be. The sea could be a table, for all the waves it makes. Well, not completely, but the weather is great and doesn't seem to be changing anytime soon, which is good. It drove Sasuke to tan in the nude - which is bad. It did allow one Inuzuka, sans clothes, on the deck to join her - which sweetens the deal a lot. I kind of lost count of pros and cons here after that bottle of extremely nice jiu Reiko left us, but meh. I could grow to like her just for that. That, or kill her and plunder her stash. One of the two. Though, she wasn't so bad... I wonder if Sasuke would get that mad jutsu skillzz cracking for the Harem no Jutsu - live impression. I gotta ask one of those days. Or maybe not. The harem girl outfit and Sasuke-chan is a scary thought. Though undeniably hot... Oh god, I really need to do something about those damn clones!/

"Hmm... You know, Coral has some nice see-through silks..."

/Note to self - keep Sasuke-chan away from the shops in Coral. Anyway. The weather is so good, half of the Kage Bunshin crew is even too much and the sun's blasting on an all time high so everybody's feeling lazy. Even Hana stopped throwing kunai for ogling. Imagine that - she can learn new tricks. Well, that, or she ran out of kunai, one of the two. Peace and quiet isn't bad, really. It lets me tinker some. Even built a new yo-yo for the bastard. Hah! I'm too nice for my own good, really. I'm being so generous - bow to my gracious nature, fools! Muahahahahaha!/

"And he has the gall to call MY fabulous, cultured and sultry laughter disturbing?!"

"...you two idiots really are alike, aren't you?"

/What did I tell you? No appreciation. I get no love or appreciation on this boat, at all. No sugar for Naruto. How sad, how tragic! Save for you, my cute, lovable, beautiful example of utter awesomeness. Who's Naruto's little cutie? Mm? Who? Yes, you are, yes you are! Note to self - check how can she purr like that. While technically possible, she shouldn't... jiggle like that. Though it _does_ upgrade her visual tactics interface nicely./

"Visual tactics interface?"

"Sex appeal, my dear Hana. Sex appeal."

"...Oh."

/Those are the voyages of the ship Enterprise, boldly going where none dared to go before, accompanied by the most beautiful of sirens, plenty of booze and gourmet food in a quest for cash, cheap thrills and petty revenge!

Oh, and for chicks that don't disturb the fuck out of me.

Did I mention that Hana in a bikini, covered in a suntan oil with her skin bronzing slightly from the days on the sun looks really good? Or that she looks even better when her oiled hands slide over the smooth back of Sasuke-ch...

...I'm not looking. My will is strong. I am not looking. I have mastered the art of meditation that would make monks weep with envy. I am not looking at the suntan oil rubbed on the naked, gorgeously glistening female skin that managed to gain a faint golden hue over the-!

...aww fuck, who am I kidding...? Now, where were those blasted binoculars...?/

* * *

_Snap._

_Hiss._

_Snap. Snap._

_Hiss._

Power.

_Snap. Snap._

_Hiss._

It was all about... _power._

And finesse.

Each crackle made was like a piece of a word, or a sentence. Each groove, each delicate line that crossed the other were like a note in the song.

Art.

More than anything shinobi did, more than ninjutsu, taijutsu, or even the delicate deadliness of bewitched senses that genjutsu achieved...

Sealing was an Art.

Many called themselves seal adepts. He laughed at them. No, not even laughed. At first he wanted to grab one of those self important jounin, drag his face over the grindstone, crushing it into each and every groove, each faint, almost hairline path for chakra made to make it work, and show him.

_This_ was the Seal.

Art. Not a memorized part of a puzzle, assembled with mechanical precision, parroting something done decades prior and engraved into memory.

No.

Seals weren't made - seals were created. According to the medium, to the need, to the user, to the mood, to the function... even aesthetics.

Barbaric, they called him. He _was_ - even after all those... could he call them 'years' ? No. Yes. Maybe. Whatever.

Even after that - he was. No matter how much knowledge, skill, lore - hell, even useless trivia - he gained, he still was. He liked things... grand. Flashy. Not always loud, but...

Yeah.

He had the imagination.

That was what made him who he was. Imagination. Sometimes, he thought he'd be crazier than Sasuke without it. Wait. No, that came out... wrong. Sasuke wasn't any crazier than him, not really.

"And doesn't that just give you a glowing report on the state of your sanity, Naruto old boy?"

The clone puffed on the pipe, acting as a hanger for the coat as Naruto worked.

_Snap. Hiss._

Naruto frowned.

The crackle followed.

"Ahhh." The pleased smile crossed the blond's face. "That's better."

His fingers moved with a precision most would find astounding in the clumsy genin, the long, hairline thin spikes creating line after line, groove after groove over the short cylinder laying on the small table. Not wood, not stone - not exactly metal, a little bit of all, and neither. A fusion of alloys that would probably cost more than the Enterprise, for the materials alone. That is unless Naruto didn't cheat - which he did. He didn't need to, he had the materials - some stolen from Konoha, others taken from the raided castle. Some he even bought!

"I'm getting soft in my old age. Heh." The blond grinned.

Still, the material was a fake. A very convincing, very usable fake, but a fake none the less. A fake that would require more energy and skill than the other, less fake fakes he made before, but it wasn't about efficiency.

"Time?"

"Seventeen hours, fourteen minutes and thirty nine seconds." The clone puffed on the pipe in a bored manner.

"You don't say..." The scientist muttered, cocking his head as he looked at the cylinder, tapping it.

_Snap. Hiss._

_Crackle._

The red sparks erupted from one end, before dying.

"...Shit."

"I told you the reverse array was a bad idea." The clone shrugged.

"Did I mention I hate myself at times?" Naruto muttered, grabbing one of the empty scrolls and unrolling it with a flourish.

It was a cool trick, in his humble opinion. It allowed him to unroll the scroll over any surface with one, elegant motion. Very flashy, very grandiose - like those heroes in the old tales. "And then, he grabbed the scroll, and the enemy trembled as the pristine white glowed with words of power too mighty for his foes to comprehend!"

"Heh. Indeed." The blond smirked, the brush making the path fluidly up and down, and to the sides, the array making itself more than him making it, each careless move creating a web that made sense only when the last stroke was made and the pulse of sheer, unadulterated power made it... shift.

"Tricky, tricky, tricky..." He muttered as the paper burned, yet the arcane runes stayed behind, burning into the table yet not marking wood directly, crawling over the surface lazily, each path forming a spoke of a large wheel, the cylinder in the center. "My little bitch is being di-di-difficult!" He sing-songed.

"As fuck." The clone nodded sagely.

"You do know it is going to be bitchy 'cause of that, mmm? Taking her power just like that..." The clone in the corner said, not bothering to look away from the stars he had been looking at while puffing on a large cigar and getting drunk out of his mind, judging by the large amount of empty bottles around him. "She's like Sasuke that way. Bitchy."

"You know, if you weren't me, I'd probably kill you for that." Naruto said pleasantly. "Just for making that comparison."

"Yeah." The clone took a long drag. "Threatening yourself. Aren't I just a glowing paragon of sanity, hmm?"

"The mastery of Kage Bunshin isn't something that can be done without some sacrifices." Another clone, his nose in a book said absently. "You can't brave the deep sea without losing the sight of the shore, right?"

"Fuck, aren't we philosophical today." The cigar-smoking clone snorted. "Fuck you, whiners. This party's dead. I'm gone."

The last drag was as much Kage Bunshin smoke as it was the aromatic whiff of the nicotine smoke.

Naruto grabbed the flicked cigar out of the air.

"Good riddance." He muttered, letting the intoxication from the clone hit... and pass as he took a long drag and a deep breath that accompanied it. Metal. Iron. Blood and pulsing and...

"...oh yesssss." He grinned.

The buzz was light, but it would persist enough.

"OKAY! Now we're cookin' with gas!"

The ember of the cigar lit up like a firefly in the dark, cramped room Naruto adopted as his workshop - though considering the amount of space he had to the size of the boat, it was still much.

"...now what is wrong with you, eh?" He squinted, looking at the cylinder for a long moment, before snapping his fingers and snagged a roll of silk cloth, carving a long, neat strip out of it with one of his kunai, before moving the brush over it several times, until it was more ink than cloth in some places.

A quick fuuton jutsu later, the ink was dry, and the blood flowed over it, staining the silk at the edges and in the center, creating a reverse of the array, yet one aligned to it, like an ornate, curved spider web.

"Now, let's see..." He murmured, rolling the cloth over the cylinder with careful precision, until not an inch was left uncovered.

"If I do _this_ I should have-"

The crackle of sparks covered the item with rapid, angry blaze and smell of sulfur, as well as hot iron and ozone. And that sickly sweet smell the blood made when it burned along with cloth and wood.

"...whooo... Ugh." The blond grimaced, waving his hands in a faint kamaitachi to disperse the smoke. "I really hope it-"

_Snap. Hiss._

_Crackle_.

Naruto scowled.

"...Well doesn't it just FUCKING figure!" He growled, eyebrow twitching. "Why won't you _work_ you good for nothing-!"

The hiss was long, and languid. Almost like a moan.

The crimson glow, oddly muted yet potent filled the small chamber.

"Well, well, well..." The teeth flashed in the ruby shine. "It just proves that sometimes all you need..." The hiss crackled loudly for a second. "Is some brute force."

With a groan of wood, the table fell apart.

* * *

"So, that's the place?"

Naruto looked at the small port dubiously. It wasn't the fact it was poor, or that it stank of burned cabbage. The number of shifty looking individuals standing by the corners, drinking cheap booze the jinchuuriki could smell even over the smell of the sea also didn't impress him much.

"Yeah. According to the orders, it's here." Hana, her chuunin vest left on board, civilian clothes on and a minor genjutsu covering her clan marks, nodded. "Ugh." She wrinkled her nose. "...what a stench."

"Hovels, burnt cabbage, unwashed caricatures of humans, cheap beer... and shit on the streets." Sasuke-chan grimaced. "What a hole."

"I've seen worse." Naruto shrugged.

"I don't doubt that for a second." Sasuke-chan snorted, before glaring over her amber sunglasses at the several local tough guys, who had been eying the Uchiha heiress with grins and whistles. The black eyes narrowed dangerously. "Well now, someone-"

She halted as Naruto grabbed her arm.

"Don't. We don't need to make trouble for Hana." He said calmly.

Sasuke looked at him for a long moment, before snorting, and turning away.

"I'll be in the cabin... doing something else." She muttered, stalking away.

"Whoa. She's angry." Hana blinked.

"Sasuke hates those types. Something to do with that freaky sense of pride." Naruto said absently, before halting. "...wait. 'She'?" He quirked an eyebrow.

"What?" The kunoichi looked at him. "She looks like a female, walks like one, talks like one, smells like one and spends more time on dresses, her looks and clothes than I do." She shrugged. "What am I supposed to say?"

"Well, taking into account that the bastard did that _before_ - sans maybe the dress thing... Though you never know with that little deviant-"

"Uchiha Sasuke I met didn't give out more estrogen that a whole squad of kunoichi." The Inuzuka woman said flatly.

"Well, there is that." Naruto admitted with a smirk.

"Both of you are a fucking piece of work." Hana snorted. "Don't think I didn't notice, you pervert."

"Hey, I am on a boat with seriously hot pieces of eye candy." He said philosophically. "What is a man to do?"

"You ain't a man, you're just a little pervert. There's a difference." She tried flicking his forehead, only to blink as a strangely soft, yet undeniably strong grip caught her wrist.

"Oh I don't know... Care to check?" The blue eyes flashed with amusement, as his face leaned with, oddly enough, a friendly leer. "You might be in for a fun surprise."

Hana's first impulse was to back away, but...

'...damn. Is he actually...?' She blinked.

While the blond wasn't exactly on par with her, and still a fair bit shorter, he looked... taller.

'No. He doesn't just 'look'. How did...?' She frowned, looking a the noticeably longer, spiker mane of hair, now even brighter than usual due to the long hours spent in the sun. She didn't know what to make of it, at first, but there were jutsu that used hair as a weapon. The height, however...

'How could I miss this...?' She thought dumbly. 'We're on the same boat for days on end and yet-'

"How do you do that?" She muttered suspiciously.

"Do what?" He smiled innocently. "Dazzle you with my manly, irresistible presence? Make you so hot you can't stop but want a piece of the sexy beast?" He wiggled his eyebrows comically.

'Why that-!' She fumed, before stopping. '...wait.' Her eyes narrowed.

"It won't work this time." She said flatly.

"Work?" Naruto blinked.

"You know what I am talking about." She growled. "Stop trying to trick me!"

"Silly Hana..." The smile stayed the same, but the eyes became... so.. blue... as the whisper caressed her ear. "Tricks are for kids."

Hana blinked as Naruto unraveled, leaving a fading chuckle and the tell-tale greyish smoke.

'...Kage Bunshin?' She thought dazedly, before shaking her head. 'I've been talking to-' The woman frowned. 'It had all the smell all the... I'd _swear_ it was him!' "How good IS he with that thing?!" Hana muttered with confusion.

"The best the world has ever seen."

The Inunzuka heiress whirled, only to see Sasuke-chan lounging on the roof, her bare legs curled slightly as she propped her head on the railing.

"When did you...?" The Inuzuka blinked.

"Oh, just now." The Uchiha heiress cocked her head. "It is bugging you, hmm?"

"This was no illusion. No genjutsu." Hana said, narrowing her eyes. "What the hell is he doing?"

"Hmm... Complicated." The younger kunoichi tapped her lips thoughtfully.

"Wait... You're... older than you are, but..." The Inuzuka trailed off. "Is it the same?"

"In a way. I think." Sasuke said, nodding slowly. "To tell the truth, I don't know myself."

"What is it?" Hana asked after a moment. "This... this isn't something you can just... _do_. He _smells_ right. This isn't just a trick it is like... layering chakra... like.." Her eyes widened. '...Like... Sotorou... Or the Jyujin Bunshin...!'

The Uchiha blinked, looking at the dazed Hana curiously.

'Is it possible...? Without a partner to act as a medium it should not... But... Can it...?' She thought dazedly. 'But how? And why and... it is like he doesn't even realize he does it but when he _needs_ to he...' She frowned. 'But if it is like... then he had to be born with it, but Kiba never said anything. Though... Kage Bunshin is a little bit similar in a way. It stills gives layers. It is still solid. Didn't Kiba say he didn't know Kage Bunshin _before_ the exams? But if so, how could he do it just in two months as... No. But if it had been _in_ his blood to begin with...'

"Hana?"

"Nothing, nothing." The woman shook her. "I was just thinking." She muttered, turning to the exit, before halting. "Sasuke... You and Naruto are pretty chummy, right? Close friends, and all that."

The raven haired beauty smirked.

"You might say that. What about it?"

"Naruto is an orphan, right?"

"Yes." Sasuke cocked her head to the side. "What of it?"

"How much of an orphan is he?"

"...What?" Sasuke blinked.

"I mean, he has no parents, but he had to come from _somewhere_, right? He had to have family at some point."

Sasuke's face might as well be carved out of stone, and her voice gained a hard, chilly quality that made Hana pause.

"No. Uzumaki Naruto is Uzumaki Naruto. He is the first and only."

"So he never looked?" The Inuzuka frowned. This was odd. Orphans usually wanted to know where they came from. And yet the curious, hyperactive kid she knew from the stories her brother told, and now knew personally, didn't? In a village as Clan-oriented as Konoha was? "But Konoha archives are very-"

A sharp, derisive chuckle cut her sentence like a knife.

"As if any family would want to be related to a 'monster'." Sasuke said with contempt. "Those bigoted cowards can't discern between the jinchuuriki and the bijuu."

Hana's eyes widened.

"What?" She whispered.

Sasuke paused, before looking at Hana strangely.

"You didn't know...?" The younger kunoichi said with surprise.

Hana just blinked owlishly.

"Oh man... that's rich." The neo-girl barked a sharp chuckle, before wincing. "You really didn't...?"

The chuunin shook her head mutely.

"So. Now you see." Sasuke sighed. "Not so simple now, is it?"

"No." Hana said shaking her head slowly. "Not simple at all."

"It never is." Sasuke shrugged. "Oh. And don't blab. Or the Hokage will execute you."

Hana paused, her eyes widening as the female Uchiha was suddenly... there. Right next to her, their faces almost touching

"What?"

"There is a law." The younger kunoichi murmured into Hana's ear, making the Inuzuka stiffen with surprise at the intrusion as the hot breath almost caressed her, Sasuke's scent hitting her like a Katon jutsu to her senses. "If you talk about Naruto's little furry problem..." She made a suggestive, slow line over Hana's bare throat.

"Thanks for the warning." Hana murmured, rubbing her throat lightly.

"Think nothing of it." Sasuke said cheerfully, waving as she walked away.

* * *

"Kawarimi with a clone?" Sasuke leaned over the railing, as the boat pulled out of the small harbor. "Man, you're slipping."

"She surprised me." Naruto grumbled. "Damn those Inuzuka senses...!"

"Oh don't whine, Naruto." She sighed. "You were careless. Admit it."

"I didn't _need_ to be careful." The blond snorted. "You told her." It wasn't a question.

"It did come out." The Uchiha admitted, playing with her fan lazily. "And it covers your problem anyway."

"I hope so. I don't want to ruin my vacation because of some paranoid idiots."

"You are the one who wanted peace and quiet." Sasuke smirked.

"If you give me the 'go with the flow' speech, I'll spend good, long time thinking up the most cruel revenge I can imagine." Naruto said flatly.

"Why, Naruto." Sasuke blushed demurely. "So much attention? For me? You shouldn't have..."

The blond gave Sasuke a flat stare, before opening a beer and taking a chug. He frowned, before offering a bottle to her.

The neo-girl opened her mouth, only to close it as the blond glared.

"Spoilsport." She chuckled, taking the beer and leaning back, taking a long, slow chug. "Ahhh man...!" The kunoichi stretched, licking the faint remnants of foam left on her lips. "I needed that. Good stuff, that. The best for this weather."

"Yeah." The blond nodded, making a lazy seal. A moment later, the clone was back with two more cans that already gathered some moisture.

Naruto dismissed it, grabbing the beer, offering one to Sasuke.

"I'm surprised you didn't go with Hana." Sasuke opened her beer with a deft move. "You love such dives."

"Nah. It's her mission." Naruto shrugged. "Besides, I'm going with you."

The neo-girl blinked.

"Weren't you harping about vacation just a moment ago?"

"I found something interesting. I want to check it out." The blond shrugged.

"Something interesting? In a temple of Jashin?" Sasuke quirked an eyebrow. "Now I am really curious. You hate those guys."

"I just want something from their library."

The kunoichi frowned, tapping the beer bottle thoughtfully.

"Didn't you go over it several times already?"

"Over _a_ library." Naruto corrected. "I've been studying the things I got from an antiquary in Sunflower, and it seems that there might be a possibility that Jashin monks got their hands on some unique stuff, one apparently 'held beyond touch of infidels'. Knowing those fanatics like we do, the only place they'd hold something like this would be-"

"The Zukotsu temple." Sasuke nodded. "Yes. It is almost like they use this place like some treasury. Though I wonder what you might want from there? We did plunder it quite thoroughly."

"Not exactly." The blond shook his head. "We never bothered to look under."

"I personally blew up the cellars. Seven times!" Sasuke protested.

"No. You burned _Zukotsu_'s cellars." The jinchuuriki said lazily.

"That's the same thing." The kunoichi frowned.

"Not really. Remember those carvings we found?"

"The ones with that odd, curved line? Yes."

"It turns out it wasn't a curved line at all." Naruto snapped his fingers, a notepad appearing in his hands with a hiss. Grabbing a pencil, he made a sketch of a familiar, jagged line. "This is what we found. Now, add some more form, turn the jagged lines into something more symmetric..."

"...This seems familiar." Sasuke muttered, leaning over the paper. "I'd swear I've seen it before..."

"That is because you did." The pencil moved again, adding more lines, a circle among them, filling the rest of the sketch bit by bit. "Only then, it looked like this."

Sasuke's eyes widened.

"...Oh my god..." She muttered.

"Goddess, rather." The blond smirked. "But yes."

"Those... They built a temple to a third-rate god of violence... over a temple to _Amaterasu?_" Sasuke said with disbelief.

* * *

"No."

"Oh come on." Sasuke's voice was mischievous, honeyed, commanding and whining - all at the same time. A unique quality.

"No."

"You're the great seal master, right? The Living Forge, they called you, hmm?"

"Materials, composition, power... It doesn't come from thin air, you know." He said firmly. "And the time...? Ten hours? You're insane. Can't be rushed, you know."

"Oh but you can, I know you can." Her smile was mischievous, and feral, bordering on a smirk that belonged to the Sasuke from long ago, and the Sasuke he _knew_. "We both do."

"It is not for _me_ but for you - you already had a dose, bastard." He pointed at her angrily. "That's even more of it. And the furball gets bitchy as _fuck_."

"So what?" The kunoichi shrugged. "She's asleep, you are the seal master and the smith."

"You. Are. Not. Listening." The blond eyebrow twitched. "It'd be the same like-"

"Oh you big baby." She snorted. "You can take it."

"That I _can_ doesn't mean I _want_ to!" Naruto protested angrily. "Geez, I _told_ you, bastard! Vacation! Vacation! What part of VACATION can't you understand?" He stomped away.

She laughed, somersaulting to the railing, just as he turned, leaving them face to face.

The black eyes were narrowed, but more in laughter, and from the smirk than anything else.

"It isn't work, you know." She murmured, balancing with her hands like a child, even though both knew she didn't need to, even with no chakra to stick her to the thin railing. Sasuke could run on a single thread spun above the ground - they both knew that. That damnable grace was something Sasuke had in spades, trained to perfection and delighted in using. Especially like that. "You love it. Admit it. Creating stuff, making the seals move to your will and desire to craft something. Mhmm?" She pushed up her amber-tinted sunglasses he made for her. The sun's reflection swirled in them, not unlike a kaleidoscope. The effect was faint, yet dazzling if you looked too long. When the sharingan woke behind the lenses, it became a downright maddening chaos.

The glasses served no purpose. A bauble. Sasuke just liked them.

"Your point?" He raised an eyebrow

"Just one among many." She said glibly. "Oh come on, we can play that game the whole day long and we're just wasting time!"

"No. You are wasting time. I am wasting nothing." He smirked. "Besides irritating you, of course, which is a nice bonus."

"We are _so_ not starting this again." She huffed, stomping her bare foot on the railing.

"Testy, princess?" If his voice held more smugness, he'd be a cat.

"Damn _right_ I am!" She nodded. "Do it!"

"Denied!" The boy shook his head emphatically. "What's your problem, anyway?"

"It is nicely ironic, amusing and just fun on so many levels - how can I _not_ do it?" Said Sasuke, a scandalized expression on her face.

"Then use your own jutsu, dammit." Naruto rolled his eyes. "Not like you have any shortage of them."

"It wouldn't be as cool." She shrugged.

"Who cares? Fire's fire!"

"Now that's just mean." The neo-girl pouted. "You know what I want." She smirked. "Or you think you do."

The blond frowned.

"...Okay. What are you scheming this time?" He asked suspiciously.

"You won't know unless you do it for me." Sasuke said smugly.

The blond paused, thinking for a moment, before scowling.

"Nice try, but no dice. Not happening. No way!"

"Oh you say that _now_." She chuckled, "But you already feel it taking root, mm? That little, nagging voice in the back of your head, eating away the reluctance..." Her voice was almost hypnotic. "Asking 'Can it be done? Can it be tried like that, and done with so little time and resources?' Come on, we both know that." the kunoichi cajoled smugly. "That is what makes you do it all differently - you said it yourself. You are just dying to try - success or failure. You always were, you always are, you always will be. I know that. You know that. All that knowledge backed by curiosity ticking in your head is like an explosive note..." She peered over the glasses. "It is just waiting to go off, and I know _just_ the right spark. You want to know what I know to know it is what you think you know... But you can't be sure, now can you?"

Naruto cursed.

She knew him far too well, damn that bastard! He had been curious ever since he could remember. And he had never done something like this that fast, and she knew it.

"...Fine, damn you! FINE!" He scowled. "I'll make them for you! Happy?"

"Orgasmic." She said cheerfully.

"Let's not go that far." He said sourly. "I won't be able to set the filtering - I don't have enough power, or scrolls stored. It'll be pretty raw, meaning it goes one element only. No other jutsu, when that thing will be on. And a shitload of control issues, regardless."

"Yeah. I know." Sasuke nodded with a smirk. "That's not a problem."

"Well, if you don't mind having the mix effect..." He shrugged.

"Mind it?" She chuckled. "I am counting on it!"

The blond frowned.

"Okay. You lost me." He admitted finally.

"You should read more." She smirked, tapping her fan on the blond mane. "You'll see."

"Okay, now I am really interested." Naruto said thoughtfully. "It was the Amaterasu thing that sent you off... but you did it before, in Sunflower. What gives?"

"Now now, Naruto. You have almost all the pieces - don't rush it." Sasuke chuckled, somersaulting onto the deck gracefully, before sashaying to the well-lit spot. "Just rush the gloves." She smiled, pushing the sunglasses up as she laid on the towel.

"Cryptic much?" The blond said dryly. "Okay, let's play your little game. You owe me for that, though."

"Don't worry. I'll pay." The teeth flashed a quick smile. "With interest."

"You will certainly try." He snorted, turning away.

"Just make them."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm going, I'm going." He grumbled. "I swear I-"

"Ah, just one thing."

The blond blinked, turning, only to see showing that the neo-girl was true to her word. There were no tan lines over the golden-bronze sheen that took over the usually pale skin, not even an inch of it, as it sported the tan proudly from head to toe. "Mind putting the oil on my back? I can never get all the spots right alone."

* * *

Naruto puffed on the pipe slowly, staring into space blankly as the clones moved around the small makeshift workshop, removing the pieces of the table, placing scrolls in the correct positions and slowly completing a large array that covered all of the floor and some of the walls.

"Whoo... Making me use that..." He tsked, putting the pipe away. "What is that bastard thinking? Whimsical little bitch."

Still, he had to admit, he was curious. Not so much if he was capable of doing what she requested - since he knew he was, even if there was less time than usual - but for what Sasuke had planned.

He was far too much of a curious guy for his own good.

"...feh." He snorted, crackling his knuckles as the clones finished. "No way around it, I guess. Let's just see what we can do here and now, eh?"

The clones dispersed into smoke as one. They wouldn't help him here at all, not with what he was about to do.

He inspected the seal critically. There was not enough space here, but he'd rather do it in controlled conditions, not where an errant burst of water might interrupt him. Not like he had time or the tools to set up a barrier for that, anyway.

There was not enough space to set up a full array, not even nearly - but the first two circles would do for that. Not like he created something massive or all that difficult. The only problem was time... and Kyuubi's energy, of course.

But he could work with that.

"Well... Let's open up this box, and let the sea of miracles out, eh?" The blond murmured, putting both his hands on the center of the array.

One by one, each intricate symbol slowly filled with power, a faint blue haze rising at the inner spokes of the giant wheel. Not all seals were circular - he actually preferred the hexagonal design, considering he had the power to burn, but in this case he'd be using so much power that containment was an issue. Kyuubi's power was not controlled easily, even by him. Hell, the best he could do, really, was to direct it in the way he wanted it to go. How it would do what it was supposed to... Ah, now that was a gamble.

People saw 'jinchuuriki' and they thought 'power'. Well that, or monster, but that wasn't really relevant - he had come into terms with what and who he was a long, long time ago. If they didn't like it, tough shit.

When it came to the power aspect, though, it was far trickier. Jutsu could be controlled, as they used the body as the medium. Seals... Well, not so much.

The only way was to create an overpowered array, at least three times larger than whatever was needed, and create one, straight and narrow path for the chakra to go - and pray it didn't go haywire and fry the edges. In the case of the more complicated arrays, however, that was not exactly an option - not when it was set up to perform several functions almost simultaneously. Hence the gamble part.

There were, however, ways to catch the attention of Fortune and make her smile on you, if you had enough skill. If you had the skill, the instinct and courage bordering on insanity, you didn't just get her to smile at you, but to actually have her lips touch yours with passion and blessing.

Naruto had the skills, the instinct, the power and courage that went past borders ordinary people called sanity a long time ago. He wasn't willing to settle for a smile or a kiss - he was going to have Lady Luck naked, eager and moaning his name tonight.

The array crackled as Naruto's blue eyes darkened into violet, the hue of the glow matching his pupils. The nails lengthened, even as the blond slashed his hands open, letting the blood fall.

"Come on, give me a kiss, eh?" He smirked, as his pupils slitted. "Give me the entire night!" The blond chuckled as his nails smeared the blood into the intricate pattern he spent last hour painstakingly grafting into metal. "Seisei Fuuinjutsu: GENSEN!"

The scrolls erupted into flame, their ash falling into the ink, blood, mixing together as the edges of the seal lit up with a crimson haze.

Naruto's skin paled, the violet eyes turning crimson, each heavy breath louder, the vestiges of steam rising from his mouth.

The blond faded into white, the child fat burning out, fading away, giving way to sharper, vaguely animalistic features. The slight tan and natural, pinkish flush faded as well, even as the whisker marks on his cheeks thinned, but curved, looking more like some form of an ornate tattoo.

Naruto cursed as he felt the shirt on his back burning as the containment seals started to come into play.

'Fuck! I forgot about that little side effect...!'

One by one, the spokes of the seal started to slide over the floor. At first slowly, but then faster with each bit of chakra the array drank up.

The blond winced as the empowered chakra pattern made its way over his hand, then up it. Rune after rune, symbol after symbol, the imprint was made, the spider web of seals over his body matching the swirling, evolving chaos happening on the floor.

'..one day, I'll make it painless if it kills me!' Naruto swore. 'This son of a bitch hurts like _fuck_ before it calms down!'

Still...

"Oooh. Shiiiiny!" He grinned as the seal started to stabilize, settling on slow turns of a more jagged, yet far more intricate spider's web that shifted slowly, never holding one shape for too long. The initial mad glow was now muted, as the power flowed evenly and steadily between the internal arrays.

The now-bleached blond stood up, and looked at the shifting, crackling web with satisfaction.

"Now, let's see how many waves can I make on this Sea of Miracles, eh?"

* * *

Sasuke frowned, balancing the kunai on her finger. She could pretend to tan all she liked but it was impossible to let her senses rest. Reinforced or not, sealed or not - Naruto was like a bonfire. One that burned fast, strong and at a rate humans were not supposed to.

The tip of the blade stood still, before spinning on its axis. Despite the speed picking up with each moment, her finger remained untouched - a hair thin layer of chakra both holding the weapon stuck to her skin and rotating it. She could do the same with swords as well. Pity it could only go so far as armor.

Still, the rebound trick was good. Taijutsu specialists got a nasty shock when she pulled that on them.

Sasuke smirked.

Of course, it ate chakra like hell, but after so long her instincts were better than her sharingan at feeling the pace of combat.

"Though it is a shame the frame can't always keep up." She looked critically at her naked body critically. Her form was taut and smooth - fine bones and curves that were for speed rather than power - that was the lithe build of the Uchiha. The breasts were a little bigger than usual Uchiha female she remembered, but the taut stomach offset that nicely. The play of the muscles right under the skin fascinated her - it seemed soft and smooth, with just a hint of tone and then she flexed a little... and suddenly it was all taut and dangerous - a beautiful piece of death in a slightly tanned package. "Heh."

So she was vain. But, really - was it vanity? She looked good. Handsome as a man, gorgeous as a woman - the best of both worlds, no matter how you looked at it. She always was. She always had, and it wasn't just her bragging - it was a fact. She earned it. With blood, sweat, pain, heartbreak and sorrow, and quite a bit of schizophrenia at one point or another. She could look in the mirror and be comfortable with what she saw. No more ghosts, no more phantoms. Just Sasuke.

No matter how they hated the endless cycles of repeats at one point there was one, undeniable truth.

She could smile now, and she could really mean it.

For that, if nothing else, she was grateful each time she woke up.

The doors to the cabin didn't so much as slam open, as just opened. They were followed by the familiar hissing sound of the opened beer and a noisy swallow.

"Nine hours, thirty minutes." She smiled, putting the sunglasses down as she slinked off the towel gracefully. "I told you."

Naruto snorted and Sasuke quirked an eyebrow. The blond was... not so blond anymore. The hair were a color of very faded straw now, and his form didn't so much look taller, as it gained some animalistic aspect that was usually just hinted at. The baby fat was mostly gone, giving his features a sharper, more mature look which would be odd on a young teenager if she hadn't see it so many times before. The frame was slightly more solid, the muscles more pronounced which added odd sort of almost... grace, as odd as it sounded. That, she knew, was not Kyuubi. It was Naruto - how he would look in a few years if he aged normally. They did many things in their spare time - Sasuke once picked up the concept of age as a way to make her illusions as realistic as possible - which led, oddly enough, to sculpture, but that was another story altogether. She knew that age wouldn't bring much change to Naruto - he would always look younger than he was. He was no bishounen - there was too much sharpness mixed into that. But she was sure that any of the women knew just how he'd look fairly soon, they'd be more than interested.

The other changes, like the whisker marks thinning, but deepening and gaining that faint, tattoo-like quality, the slitted violet pupils... Oh, that was all Kyuubi. The color was fading slightly - Sasuke knew Naruto well enough to calculate, considering the backlash from the seal was felt all over the ship, but if his eyes were still slitted, that meant the power was still there. In combat, changes faded rather swiftly - when he was crafting, the constant attempts to control the power and his own chakra made it linger for a time.

Considering how pale he was, the sealing was far from a simple affair.

She gave him a once over, noticing the faint burns on his hands, as well as shredded, frayed state of his clothes. "The lengths you go to to get rid of the clothes I pick for you are simply astonishing." The kunoichi said with a sigh.

"Yes, well, you know me." The blond slumped, sitting on the deck heavily. "Not much for half measures. Never was."

"True enough." The Uchiha heiress chuckled, cocking her head to the side. "Burns? That is a bit much."

"I didn't have the mesh." He muttered tiredly. "I had to make one from scratch, and you know how it goes with that damned Gensen seal."

"So it is done?"

"Formed, sewn, shaped, sealed and stamped." Naruto took a large chug of his beer. "Damn, I even painted them black for you. Ha!" He pointed at the neo-girl. "You owe me, bitch!"

"So I do." She chuckled. "May I?"

"Sure, Why the hell not. They're yours." He shrugged, before throwing her a pair of fingerless, matte-black gloves. "Knock yourself out."

The Uchiha grabbed them deftly, stiffening slightly as her hands closed on the items, the quickening setting off almost at once. It was not something one could easily describe - the very moment the seals inside the gloves, and the power they contained, came into contact with her, she could feel it. The tingle starting somewhere around her fingers, before spiraling upwards, halfway between a shock and a burn.

The feeling of vertigo came after, making her slightly dizzy. The mix of chakra, of power, of the bijuu, human and the seals with her own... For anyone else, it would be painful to touch it, no matter hold it. Lethal, if they tried to use it - Kyuubi's power, however tempting, was toxic. Sasuke could bear it, though. The enhanced Oiroke was what led them to the answer - the first time the technique became what it really was. The precedence, a highly dangerous, insane one, was made some time later. The second time, it was intentional, and as weird as it was unexpected. Time and time again, as they made it, as they used it...

Naruto was reluctant, but it was an ideal way to train - burdening her chakra system, overburning it to allow for a quick boost in power - it fried her chakra system several times over, but the answer was there.

She took, as it was freely given, even if unintentional at first. She took that... and a little more, though Naruto knew and said nothing. She didn't either, but it was there. The... adaptation to the power was not something that was easy, or painless, but given second hand, she could do it. It was a little like that cursed seal of Orochimaru's, only not as crudely brutish, yet far more brutal in its own way.

What was left...

Sasuke smiled as the violet haze rose for a briefest of seconds around the gloves, mixing with the blue sheen of her own chakra to create a more vibrant shade then the heavy, dark one contained in the seals. She could feel them, each little grove and fold in the pattern as it almost hummed in her hands. It was not the gloves that were so complicated - it was actually a fairly simple, if extremely expensive piece of shinobi equipment made in a similar way the chakra paper was, they were the ninjutsu master's answer to chakra blades, and their equivalent, after a fashion. Their price equaled a price of one good chakra blade, and considering the limits and flaws, they far from the most popular, or useful tools around.

These were even worse, she knew. The power contained in them, the seals, the chakra used in the making... They'd be impossible to control at best, highly toxic at worst.

But she could wield the very same power with no seals, no barriers or restraints save her own will - she had it etched in her soul, time and time again. For her, it was like coming home as she slipped the gloves on. The metal of the mesh was covered in cloth, but still cold, though it warmed quickly. Despite the mesh, however, it was as flexible as silk, even if sturdy enough to block a kunai.

"In those rare moments... I can really believe you are a genius, Naruto." She said in awe.

Naruto had an idea, long ago, to do something most smiths wouldn't dare to - to weld seals permanently into the very form of the mesh, shaping it to be one big array. Not exactly a safe, or reasonable thing as far as traditional chakra smithing and sealing was concerned, but then they were tailored for one chakra system only. Naruto did such exclusives for her so frequently he could probably be able to draw her entire chakra system with his eyes closed.

"Have fun, bitch."

"Oh, I intend to." The violet spark danced, the faint haze glistening off the sweaty body for a moment. "I intend to."

The blond chuckled, combing his hand through the sweat matted hair.

"Fire in your blood, hmm?"

"Indeed." She smirked. "Now, Naruto, time to get a shower, get into festive clothes - we have a religious pilgrimage to make!"

* * *

"Ow. Not so TIGHT!"

"Oh stop whining, you big baby." Sasuke muttered, the dexterous hands deftly tightening the collar. "You get burned, cut, stabbed or flat out mutilated and you grin, so bear it like a man."

"I'm not WHINING." He muttered, "This stuff is just... uncomfortable." He looked at the shirt dubiously, as Sasuke tightened the more traditional garment over the silk. "Are you sure that-"

"Yes I am sure."

"But-"

"No you can't."

"But if I-"

"It won't."

"But I really-"

"I don't care."

"Are you really sure it-"

"Yes, it is sturdy enough." She scowled. "I _told_ you not to wear this orange monstrosity, didn't I? So suffer."

"Geez, those are just monks of Jashin. Whom we will slaughter ignobly and with much prejudice anyway, after stealing their holy relics, desecrating the temple, ransacking the treasury - yadda yadda yadda and a side order of ramen." The blond rolled his eyes. "Who _cares!_"

Sasuke gave him a flat look.

"...All right, I'll shut up already. Geez!" Naruto said with exasperation, before blinking. In Sasuke's hands was a long, rather billowy mantle, with something that looked like a... cowl? "Okay, isn't that a bit much?" He asked with a frown.

"You were the one who wanted to go for intimidation." The neo-girl smirked.

"Yeah, but this is so-"

"Who is the genjutsu master here?" Sasuke scoffed.

"...This is so cliche..." The blond sighed forlornly. "I feel like a reject from a fairy tale, or some inane book for children."

"Yes, because a blindingly orange haori with a fire pattern on the sleeves is so much better." She said flatly. "My eyes hurt just by looking at that... thing."

"Yeah, I know! It was awesome!" The jinchuuriki nodded enthusiastically with a glint in his eye.

Sasuke halted before looking at Naruto.

"Excuse me?"

"You think I wore orange just because I liked it?" Naruto scoffed. "Gimmie a break, bastard. Sure, orange is an awesome color and all, but even I won't have almost an entire wardrobe in orange without _some_ reason!"

"You said that before, but aside from insulting someone's sense of fashion to cause a heart attack, I don't see how it helps." She said dryly.

"Orange, if looked at too long, gives people headaches." The blond explained in a 'duh' tone of voice.

"I guess if someone looked at it for too long..." The kunoichi said thoughtfully. "But it'd have to be someone who watched... you..." She trailed off at the gleeful smile Naruto gave her.

"Keimu Butai really didn't like me." Naruto said cheerfully. "I heard that some guys actually cried when they had to watch me for long."

Sasuke looked at her friend for a long moment.

"Weren't you an adorable kid." She said finally. "No wonder the officers froth at the mouth at the mere mention of your name."

"It is a gift." Naruto shrugged modestly.

* * *

The strokes of the brush were calm and even, the calligraphy flawless and beautiful, symbol after symbol etched on the paper with flowing quality that one would expect of the master of the art and billowing sleeves that didn't disturb the ink, nor even touched paper while swaying hypnotically with their silent rhythm.

"Zukotsu temple, hmm...? The great Temple of the Skulls..." Naruto leaned on the railing, the long cloak flowing down from his shoulders and moving in the evening breeze as he looked at the island. "Man... this place is just the pinnacle of bad taste."

Sasuke hummed, not bothering to look up from the scroll.

"I mean... Building that stupid temple up in the mountains is one thing, but..." The blond sighed, looking a the rocky desolate wasteland. The few brushes and patches of vegetation that managed to survive, were pitifully small and almost withered, hanging to life with the shearest of threads. "That kind of place... It pisses me off." Naruto scowled.

"Kitsune are creatures of the forests, Naruto." Sasuke said absently "That place feels wrong to you, and not just because you hate those monks."

"I wonder if that is why that furball attacked Konoha." The jinchuuriki frowned thoughtfully. "Mokuton... It would explain a lot. Hmm. It is the natural power, far more natural than any ninja technique... and far more dangerous."

The kunoichi blinked, looking up from her scroll.

"What do you mean?"

"Mokuton... the real Mokuton, not the mockery that idiot Tenzo uses, is different from normal ninja skills." Naruto rubbed his chin. "Remember when I told you Konoha is just one fucking huge seal?"

"Yes. It was because of Mokuton, right?" She cocked her head. "Something about using chakra to form the very land. But Tenzo can do exactly the same, right? He even copied Shodai's techniques."

"Yes. Exactly that. I did the analysis of the after effects left by the Shodai, and what Tenzo uses - outwardly it is the same thing, but when it comes to details... I didn't understand until I succeeded with Keisei. Tenzo can call what he uses 'Mokuton' but it isn't the real thing. Only thing he can really do, is combining the chakra types, that he got from Shodai's DNA... and I suspect from his own affinity. Which would explain how he _survived_ while the others did not, come to think about it..." The blond muttered. "Anyway, Mokuton isn't about control, or force at all."

"Shodai controlled trees. He made them grow." The kunoichi pointed out.

"No. That's what Tenzo does, and what ninja described it as. But Tenzo's work doesn't leave the natural folds in the leylines. Shodai's did."

"What?" Sasuke blinked. "But it is the same power. How could-"

"I told you. It is not Mokuton, not by a long shot." The blond shook his head. "No. I couldn't catch it for years... I probably wouldn't have if not for that... you know..." He muttered with embarrassment. "That thing."

"Ah. That 'thing' wouldn't be blowing up a nice chunk of Fire Country and Konoha with it?" She said dryly.

"Accident! That was an ACCIDENT, dammit!" The young seal master seethed. "And... it was a quirk of circumstances anyway. That resonance... It was a million in one possibility. I doubt I'd be able to do anything like that ever again. But still, it showed me something very interesting. You see... Shodai didn't control nature. He used chakra, yes - but even a man as powerful as he was supposed to be... No man has enough power to build something as large as Konoha, carve it into the forest in one day? Impossible. A bijuu would be hard pressed to do that."

"Well, you know how legends get." Sasuke shrugged. "Stories grow. Save a girl from a pair of bandits in an impressive way, and ten years later the girl becomes a noblewoman, and the bandits are a platoon of evil ninja. Another fifty years, and the girl is the daimyo's daughter and the pair of thugs becomes an army, with some overly elaborate intrigue thrown in the middle."

"I thought so too, until I saw those proto seals. Those... they are unlike anything ever done, built or designed. There is nothing... normal about them."

"Naruto, seal masters differ in styles, you said so yourself. Your seals are completely different as well." The kunoichi sighed. "You yourself said that when it comes to the real Seal Masters, their work is like a fingerprint - unlike anything else."

"No. It is not like that. Not exactly. All seals share _some_ elements. The cores are always similar. Vaguely sometimes, but there are some things that make them all kin, after a fashion. One art - many styles. The proto seals all over Konoha, the part where Shodai made them... They are unlike anything I have ever seen. They are not even seals at all." He rubbed his chin. "If I had to guess... There is nothing 'human' in them. Or rather, there is little human in it, almost indistinguishable from 'other'."

"Are you saying Shodai wasn't human?" Sasuke blinked.

"No. He was human, very much so. It just shows what I've been suspecting then." Naruto said with satisfaction. "I didn't know for sure, not until I started completing the interlock arrays for Keisei." Naruto smiled as the siren jumped out of the water at the mention of her name, landing gracefully next to her master, a curious expression on her face. "Yes, just like you, my beauty." The summon smiled brightly, leaning and giving Naruto a hug.

Sasuke cocked her head to the side. She was still amazed just how lifelike the quasi-summon was. While she didn't speak - though Sasuke didn't know of she couldn't or simply preferred not to - she seemed to be almost disturbingly intelligent, understanding not only words, but actually managing to read Naruto's emotional states. Hell, she seemed to understand emotional nuances of people - it was, for all intents and purposes, as if she was a real being, not just a highly sophisticated seal array and chakra given flesh.

"How did making her help you?" The kunoichi asked curiously.

"See, Sasuke, the key was understanding what Mokuton does." He turned to the neo-girl. "Have you ever wondered just why did I create her like that? Using Suiton, and water and calling her the 'Queen of the Current'?"

"Suiton is your weak point." Sasuke shrugged. "And you said it was easier."

"Yes. 'Cause water is everywhere, there is 'form' for her everywhere." He nodded. "But that's not all. Suiton. Water. That is why she is capable of using Suiton jutsu of her own, like normal summons." Naruto put his hand on the siren's face, and Keisei closed her eyes, a vague purring sound making from her throat, almost like a satisfied... chuckle? "See, what Shodai did... It wasn't 'control'. What he did, was 'give' power, and give the 'direction'.

The black eyes widened.

"...What...?"

This was ridiculous. Any jutsu had to be controlled! _Any_ jutsu. Or it either backfired, or didn't work! Just powering a jutsu, and then giving nothing but a vague direction... This was like making a perfectly balanced kunai with a blunt tip and no edge - completely useless.

"Have you ever wondered, why Konoha keeps forests even so close to the village? Sure, it is a nice natural barrier, but also a security risk. Yet they do. And more, why the hell are there areas next to the village that the permission to build in is never given? Every Hokage enforces that almost religiously, ever since the first day Konoha had been founded."

Sasuke frowned, confused.

"But Inuzuka have forests that they use."

That was true. Ironically, though being a noble clan less powerful than Hyuuga, or Uchiha in their heyday, Inuzuka had the largest amount of the grounds in Konoha, and out of it.

"Forests they don't _build_ in. Forests they don't cut a single tree out of. More - most people are not only not allowed - Inuzuka get _pissed_ when someone tries to train with jutsu there, or even hunt." There was glint in Naruto's eyes, that familiar 'I-know-something-that-you-don't-ha-ha!' glint she knew well. "And my, what a damn coincidence! Aside from the Hokage Tower - which stands _completely_ unchanged since the day Shodai erected it, the largest concentration of leylines is _there_." He chuckled. "See the strange pattern?"

"Well, the Inuzuka were, supposedly, living there even before Konoha was founded..." Sasuke frowned.

"Yeah. And I did some digging in the archives." The blond smirked. "Did you know that the Shodai's first step in using Mokuton to create Konoha, first act, wasn't to raise the Hokage Tower... but to go to that very forest, and stay there for a time? And then... poof! A village! Cute as you please!" His smirk widened. "Now doesn't that tell you something?"

"So, he used Mokuton from there." Sasuke said thoughtfully. "But aside from that, what is so special about it?"

"A proof, Sasuke. A proof that Mokuton was more than most people think it was." The blond said with satisfaction. "The eternal bane on sacrificing some areas, the proto seals, the odd fact that Konoha is rife with leylines, the fact that Mokuton, strangely enough, wasn't inherited by anyone of Shodai's bloodline... and yet the last living descendant has a talent at healing people that isn't just skill and ability, but borders on a freaking _bloodlimit_." He shook his head. "It was all so damn simple - we, and all of the others, were simply too fucking _blind_ to see!" The seal master laughed exuberantly, just like the times he pulled a successful prank. "Mokuton, Sasuke, the wood element isn't about 'control' and 'use' at ALL! In fact, it isn't even, technically, the 'wood' element! What Shodai did, it isn't a ninja art at all - he didn't 'use' the nature - it worked _with_ him!"

"...what?"

"He made... a 'deal' isn't the best word - but somehow, he _convinced_ the very ground that would become Konoha to help him, to work with him. How he did it, I have no idea, but I have some theories." He looked at Keisei fondly. "And her, of course, my beloved Queen of the Current."

The Siren chuckled softly and Sasuke just stared as she hugged Naruto tighter.

It was an odd sound. Very much so. A little bit like a chime water fountain would make, but interwoven with musical, harmonious quality that was just captivating.

The Siren smiled brightly, and for a moment, Sasuke was struck both by the strangely, almost disturbingly human quality of that smile, as well as the pure, inhuman beauty that accompanied it.

She nodded to Sasuke, something between a bow, a greeting and acknowledgment, before rubbing her face on Naruto's cheek and somersaulting back into the water.

Sasuke looked at her blond friend for a long moment, before shaking her head slowly.

In those rare moments, she doubted that she was the more changed by the repeats than Naruto, no matter their quirks acquired over the years.

'Though... Wasn't it _in_ him already before?'

She smiled, shaking her head again with a soft chuckle.

'That's Naruto for you. Passion in everything he does... or creates.'

"What was that, bastard?" The jinchuuriki asked, eyes squinty, face in that comically vulpine expression the Uchiha knew well.

"Nothing, Naruto. Nothing at all." Sasuke chuckled, leaning back over her scroll. "Just the usual."

"Oh. That's okay then." The blond relaxed, smiling, before he turned to the panorama of the island. "So, what are you planning?"

"Oh?" Sasuke quirked an eyebrow. "And what makes you think I plan anything more than usual, hmm?"

"For example the fact that you have that stuff on you?" He pointed at the kimono, and the crimson red hakama lazily. "Miko much?"

She laughed.

"Oh that old thing? It looks good on me, doesn't it?"

"Sasuke, looking like that, everything looks good on you." The blond rolled his eyes.

"My, my." She smirked. "So heartfelt, abrupt and honest... There might be some hope for you yet."

"Whatever." Naruto waved his hand. "Where did you get it, anyway?"

"I always get a set. Not proper for a priestess not to have one, you know." Sasuke shrugged.

The jinchuuriki blinked.

"You mean it is a real-?"

"Remember that pilgrimage thing?"

The blond nodded. Sasuke went through a period of, delicately put, going a bit crazy - more than usual that is. The feeling of helpless guilt and the first semi-successful try of facing Itachi... Naruto never asked why exactly Sasuke fell into that depression, but considering the sheer amount of blood he had on his clothes then - none of it his - and the fact Itachi was vaporised by seventeen thousand explosive tags, and revealed to be just that cheapass clone technique... Sasuke had a strangely haunted look in his eyes and just... broke.

Naruto didn't ask, but he had a good idea what happened even before Sasuke finally told him, a few repeats later. Before that, he just went into Oiroke and refused to so much as become a man again almost hysterically, no matter what Naruto tried, and kept on wandering, or just sitting with Naruto in sight, giving him the strangest look he had ever seen from the bastard until then - and that was saying something, considering they had some repeats behind them by then.

It was like the Uchiha refused to lose sight of him - for whatever reason. Later he sort of understood, but then... It was really freaky. After the whole deal, Sasuke refused to touch anything ninja related for quite a bit, instead choosing to visit some shrines, and monasteries, learning to meditate to just... deal. That was where the Uchiha learned his - or rather hers, since she still stubbornly refused to leave the Oiroke then - sword style. The result was a calmer, more relaxed Sasuke. And strangely enough, a far more vicious one.

He blinked.

"You actually-?"

"Yes. Technically, it sticks." She chuckled, smoothing the kimono. "I told you - it is ironic stuff, all the way."

"Man... You weren't kidding." Naruto said with wonder. "Fire... huh? Now I kinda can get it, you know?"

"I told you - you have all the pieces. Just let them assemble." She made a last stroke with flourish, before rolling the scroll and putting it away in the secure case that she sealed straight into the deck. "Let them become whole on their own."

"Heh. This just might be fun." Naruto smiled. "Consecration and conflagration and immolation..." He snapped his fingers, a card appearing. He looked at it before chuckling and flicking it to Sasuke. "Heh. Fun, fun all the way."

The Uchiha frowned, grabbing it, before smiling as she saw The Priestess.

"More than you think." Sasuke twirled the card, before putting it into her sleeve. "More than you think, dead last. I promise you that."

"Hoo..." The smirk on Naruto's face widened. "I'll hold you to that." The jinchuuriki turned to the island. "So, how do you want to do this? Since we want that little temple thing under it we can't go an blow it all too hell, like we usually do."

"I'll need you for that. If I am to get the sword..."

"A distraction, huh?" He squinted, looking at the distant temple. "I can work with that."

"Yes. Just wait until the right moment." She smiled mischievously. "Make it grand, Naruto. Make it so big even those fanatics will give you their attention. Then I'll be able to work those seals and get the sword."

"Like that time in Snow, huh? Sorta explains the cloak." He cocked his head, looking at the large mantle. "Though I doubt I look like some Hero of Justice in that."

"Then work it from the other side." The kunoichi shrugged. "Be creative, Naruto." She smiled mischievously. "You know you want to."

"Sure I do." He chuckled nastily. "With those fanatics... Oh, I think I have something that'll get their attention and hold it." He eyed the traditional outfit Sasuke had on, the smirk widening. "Oh, I have an idea or two, you can bet on it."

"No explosions, though. We don't want to collapse that thing." She warned.

"Facing them like that, huh?" The blond rubbed his chin. "And I can't really use any jutsu right now, with that stuff all boiling inside it'd be just destruction, no middle ground."

"Think of it as a challenge." Sasuke shrugged.

"Challenge? From those violence-obsessed, fanatical freaks?" Naruto snorted. "Give me a break. I won't even have to unseal my 'arsenal' for that."

"Won't have to?" The girl quirked an eyebrow with amusement. "Or is it that you simply don't have it?"

"...So okay, I might have a little shortage in that." He admitted with embarrassment. "Still, it wasn't like I expected something like this."

"Oh, isn't that the other way of saying you were simply lazy and wanted to whore and drink all trip long?" Sasuke said cheerfully,

"Like you wanted to do anything else."

"I am not a frustrated little dead last who can't get a sexy little Inuzuka into the sack and gets stabbitied each time he tries to catch a glimpse, mm?" The fan snapped open, covering Sasuke's mouth in a mockery of polite manners. "Such a naughty boy you are, ohohohoho!"

Naruto glared at his friend, eyebrow twitching.

"I do so despise you." He said darkly. "You know that, right?"

* * *

The smoke of the summoning was faint - but not a wonder considering just _what_ he was summoning.

The shadows, already long because of the swiftly approaching evening, darkened a little bit more as the two rolls of cloth unfurled.

The two black spaces slinked back, unrolling over the floor.

Naruto smirked.

They weren't the strongest or the fastest, but that was not their role. With those two cloth wraiths, there would be silence, and a cloak of darkness over the Enterprise. And he really didn't envy anyone who walked here uninvited - getting wrung by those things... Well, he was in a nasty mood when he designed them for the first time, which showed. Lousy attackers, but excellent traps. They had no intelligence, besides what they were designed to do. But what they did do, they did like a charm.

He chuckled, grabbing one of the Mist rebreathers he bought on Sunflower and mounting it over his face as he jumped down.

The water swirled, forming a whirlpool around him as Keisei swam up, smiling.

"Take me to the harbor. Underwater."

The summon nodded, grabbing him in a tight hug, before diving under surface and shooting forward faster than Enterprise ever could.

Naruti smiled under his rebreather. He really created something magnificent when he designed her - she exceeded his every expectation.

'You want a distraction, Sasuke? No problem. I'll give all the distraction you might need here.'

* * *

The neo girl traveled slowly - or as slowly as ninja running swiftly and silently over the surface of the water could. Minor genjutsu coated her presence, but she knew soon she'd have to rely on the good, old fashioned stealth. Fanatical and unreasonable bunch priests of Jashin might be, but they weren't stupid enough to leave the temple as important as the Zukotsu unguarded and bereft of security seals - they weren't exactly the most liked of sects and they knew it well.

She snorted, as her feet moved, barely touching the water.

Naruto hated those people, and with a good reason - they were a violent, bloodthirsty group of people who exercised their precious 'gifts' more on civilians and those weaker than themselves rather than face those who could truly be a threat, while boasting about their supposed 'immortality'. Sasuke knew that it was nothing but a lie - true, the unholy, bloody rituals they used were incredible, especially considering that 'immortality' trick. Problem was, that that immortality was as empty as Jashin's nihilistic ideology of death, violence and annihilation. While it gave some short-term benefits, it also took, as she and Naruto found early. Rarely did a priest of Jashin live to even the age of fifty, and not just because they tended to live rather bloody lives.

No - the rituals actually ate them from the inside, bit by bit consuming both their spirit and body, leaving the shell that was driven by bloodlust, fanaticism and empty promises. And Sasuke knew quite well they were empty - Orochimaru, as always after his immortality shtick, did quite an extensive research on the sect. It was a testament to the depravity of those 'priests' that some practices even the old snake called 'needlessly bloody' and 'exceedingly barbaric', in the notes that she and Naruto managed to steal from Oto.

Orochimaru was a monster - there was no denying that. The man was brilliant, innovative and knowledgeable. But also extremely dangerous, twisted, cynical and more than just a little insane. But, as they had found, Orochimaru never went for cruelty just for the sake of cruelty. Even if he did find some truly twisted things amusing, he always had something to gain from it and looked at his profits first.

It wasn't the fact that Jashin's religion was brutal - there were sects out there that venerated gods so dark Kyuubi would be a playful kitsune in comparison. What pissed them both off was the way they went about it. The hypocrites preached total annihilation, and still weren't even a bit shy in using their 'immortality' to emerge more or less unscathed from the conflict. If they wanted annihilation so much, why didn't they use their own wits and faith, instead of relying on what was essentially a cheap way out from the annihilation of a violent battle - the supposedly best way for any follower of Jashin to die.

'They want oblivion?' The sharingan in Sasuke's eyes blazed briefly. 'I'll oblige them. I'll give them so much of it Jyashin will _choke_ on the spirits of his followers.'

The Zukotsu temple, the Temple of the Skull, was a dark, foreboding building with, of course, the skull motif so cliche it made Sasuke sigh with exasperation every time she saw it.

The building was a drab, painfully tasteless creation that would be considered spartan if it wasn't so damn ugly. It was also quite large, which wasn't surprising considering it was one of the main temples, and one of the very few ones that dared to operate openly. Usually, the more powerful governments spared no expense to removing those fanatics from their grounds quite permanently, but Mist was weak, rife with corruption and Jashin's sect was wealthy enough with donations from gullible or fanatical mercenaries that they could pay the Mizukage and the Mist daimyo off with little trouble. Besides, the constant scheming and unstable situation meant that Kiri probably didn't have the shinobi to spare anyway - this place was a fortress and not easily cracked.

Well, not unless you did it so many times you knew the outline and every possible trap, security system and patrol pattern by heart and could navigate it in your sleep, like Sasuke could.

They broke into that temple so many times and in so many ways it would be odd not to, really.

Coming here was never an accident, not even the first time around. Zukotsu was something akin to a treasury for the Jashin's sect - not for money, since that was stored elsewhere, but for artifacts, 'heathen' books and assorted trinkets that the hypocrite priests didn't mind hoarding anyway if they contained useful information, ancient seals, some chakra artifacts and even a summoning scroll or two.

But that didn't interest Sasuke. What she came for was stored in the very center of the temple, under the twenty four hour guard, behind the doors sealed as tight as the Wind daimyo's wallet.

More, the seals were layered in several places, each was guarded as well, and undoing just one at a time would raise an alarm that would bring entire temple of quasi-immortal fanatics ready to defend the holiest of their relics held in that spacious chamber.

In normal circumstances, getting there was flat out impossible and would be a flat out suicidal mission even for a jounin.

But behind those doors was something Sasuke wanted, something she would slaughter each and every devotee in this building for with smile on her face and song in her heart.

Well, she would have done that anyway, but the sword was as sweet a bonus as there ever was.

* * *

Naruto walked out of the water, surveying the rather empty beach critically.

'Stone, sand... not much to work with, as usual. I should have been more specific, but-

There was a surprised hiss and Naruto quirked an eyebrow to a robed monk, writhing on Keisei's trident as the summon looked at the struggling man curiously. The monk was trying to scream, but the water he was under prevented that.

Keisei pushed the weapon little deeper, and the fanatic opened his mouth in a soundless scream, before exploding from the explosive card stabbed into his body a moment earlier.

"Immortal. Yeah, riiight." The blond snorted with disgust, the fuuton scroll he unsealed already drying his clothes.

Jutsu were impossible - he'd give away his presence right away, considering Kyuubi's power would overpower any jutsu he tried to perform right now, with effects ranging form pure overkill to utterly bizarre. No. What he had now, was Keisei, the chain, some scrolls... and his newest toy, of course.

"But before that..." The blond muttered, sitting on the nearest stone and unsealing a fairly short, thin scroll with care and rolling up his sleeve, before carving several seals into it and wrapping the scrolls around the wounds.

He hissed as the blood and seals mingled, burning a painful pattern into the skin with rampant sizzling and a nauseating smell of baked flesh.

If he didn't have a jutsu, there were... alternatives. The prepared Seal Master was never without a trick or two up his sleeve, and Naruto's sleeves were wide indeed. He had many cards to play in this game and the strongest trump there was.

Keisei frowned, looking at his wounded, smoking arm unhappily.

"Don't worry." He waved her off. "It was necessary."

The seals twisted as he let the chakra through, the gust of wind lifting his now-dry cloak up slightly. He smirked pulling the cowl over his head so that most of his face was hidden from view.

"Come. We have much work to do."

* * *

Sasuke leaned on the wall, in one of the needless skull like niches of the corridor. So far, she had no problem in infiltrating the compound, but then this was the easy part. The hard part was getting to the sword silently enough that she had the time to unseal the seemingly endless stream of security jutsu woven around it and tame the temperamental blade and bind it to her. Again.

If Naruto did his job right, then all she'd have to deal with would be the guard, and the security systems - which was all she really needed.

The Uchiha frowned impatiently, looking at the acolytes wandering the drab halls.

'What is taking him so-'

She blinked as the loud sound of the bell resounded several times through the structure. The acolytes looked at each other before running like men possessed to the eastern door.

'My, aren't they in a hurry.' She quirked an eyebrow.

There was a dull, low sound Sasuke-chan recognized almost immediately, and she groaned, pinching the bridge of her nose.

'...Oh kami... I knew telling him to have it 'grand' was a mistake. I knew it. I tell him not to blow it up.. and that idiot uses the _Atsoryokuha_ scroll?!'

She sighed, using her yo-yo to grab the nearest priest and strangle him, while kicking his compatriot in the throat, robbing him of speech or conscious thought for quite a while.

"That moron... What is he _doing_ out there?" She grumbled, as her yo-yo's spikes ripped out the throat from another.

* * *

Naruto leaned over the tall, bald man who was now leaning on the wall, cradling his mangled arm. "There is a complex under the Zukotsu, one that wasn't built by you. Where is the entrance?"

"I will tell you nothing, blasphemer! My god will-" He screamed as the trident stabbed deeper through his collarbone.

"Your third rate little god is _not_ here." Naruto said calmly. "I _am_. The trident is. And _she_ is, too." He pointed at the Keisei.

"Blasphemer!" The fanatic glint lit up the brown eyes, as the man frothed, even as kunai that nailed him to the wall scraped against the bone and flesh. "Heathen! Summoner of soulless abominations! Jashin's fury will strike you, godless trash! You will die a thousand deaths as He grinds your very bones and flesh to dust by His mighty will, heretic!"

"Considering I never bought into that Jashin crap, I kind of can't be called heretic, moron." The blond snorted. "Besides, wasn't all that 'bones to dust' 'eternal annihilation' and so on part of your 'promised reward'?"

The fanatic froze.

"I thought so." Naruto sighed. "Man... whatever happened to the paradise, or reincarnation into a better life, or a nice, friendly goddess who'd give you a nice harem of honeys, or even her own favor if you were a good little boy, huh? Eternal annihilation? What are you, stupid?"

"BLASPHEMY! Your heathen soul will-!"

"Ah. Right. Jashin worshiper. What was I thinking?" The blond nodded, ignoring the trashing man, before turning to another one, bleeding from several deep gashes.

"The entrance to the old temple of Amaterasu. Where is it? Tell me and you just might live a little longer."

"Your threats don't scare me, fool!" The bleeding man sneered, despite the pain and countless wounds. "You can't kill me!"

Naruto cocked his head to the side.

"You really don't believe I can kill you, huh?"

"Jashin's mighty hand holds me in life and in death, godless scum!" The haughty sneer was even more pronounced - though it might have been pain.

"You know what?" Naruto said thoughtfully, rising his left arm, as the seals on it started to glow in a faint violet hue.

The man paled, before grabbing his throat even as he slammed into a wall. His mouth opened in a soundless cream, but not sound came out as the air was forced off his lungs and the immense pressure stared to build over his neck.

"I find your lack of faith... disturbing."

The loud crack and crunch of bones braking even as the neck was shattered from the pressure, leaving cracks all over the stone wall, what was formerly head now smeared all over the stone.

Naruto flexed his palm, before leveling it in front of the bald acolyte's suddenly rather pale face.

"Now, I will ask this only once." The blond, scowling. "Where is the entrance?"

* * *

Sasuke smirked as she walked into the chamber.

It was grand, ornate, majestic... and utterly tasteless.

She passed over the books, the artifacts, the jars containing kami-knows-what, and moved to the center, ignoring anything else save for a single stand with the plain shirasaya covered in several ofuda.

Even with the seals on, the closer she got, the more she could feel the muted, yet oppressive force of the weapon under the wards and specially protected wood and several thick, cold iron chains all over it.

Even as reverent as priests of Jashin were, they didn't dare to leave the sword just like that, in the open. It might have been a sacred item to them, but it was still one of the most dangerous weapons ever created. Not so much for its power - there were far more impressive blades out there, many of them much more powerful. However, if there was a sword that could be called 'evil' just because it was - this was that weapon.

"The last true Muramasa blade... Created to kill above anything else. It's been quite some time since they dared to take you, hmm?" Sasuke smirked. "At least, for you it was.".

She knew the sword wasn't really intelligent. Not in a way that one would consider a human, or even an animal. Yet certain blades had an odd sense of... awareness. Raijin had it, Samehada had it as well. And so did the Majinken - the last of the Muramasa swords, the blade that drove each and every user into a berserker path of blood and madness.

One swipe of kunai ended the life of the seals and Sasuke immediately 'heard' it. It wasn't a sound, no. More like the blood that soaked the blade, the countless lives taken and a promise of vengeance, death and battle that started to resound in her very bones even before she laid her hand on the hilt.

"Quit it." She snapped. "I know that old trick, so you are just wasting time."

The song echoed, the faint miasma that most would dismiss as wavering of the air enveloping Sasuke's hand, caressing with the burning touch of ancient will that drove the blade to kill, to end lives to-

"I said..." The sharingan blazed briefly and the floodgates...

...came...

...down.

_Scream as the vengeance consumed, as vengeance burned and the hate that was and why would there be another path no death loss madness why kill kill kill but weak how could no one to help no one to hold no one to kill for not kill open the mind and see and watch and gather the bloodlust to chain to absorb to accept to-_

If it was possible for the steel to scream, the Muramasa blade would have.

It broke minds. It wasn't designed to do so, but it was designed to kill and cut above all else. That was its function, its destiny and only will it had known. Will that soaked in the blood of those it killed, soaked in the lives lost to it and because of it. Hate and bloodlust that never seemed to end that made it cut and cut and cut...

Those who took it, inherited all the gathered malice, hate, anger and desire to kill it was imbued with. Blood was a powerful medium - hate, ancient and inherited along with the madness of each wielder who held it to kill, even more so. It was a promise of fury and madness that came with it, a promise of pure, deadly power.

Sasuke let the backlash slide off her, not letting even a slightest drop to pollute her spirit. She knew her hate, she knew her rage and she knew what drove her to kill. For her, Majinken had nothing to offer, save the sharpness of the superbly crafted blade.

The slender hard grabbed the sword deftly, the batto draw cutting away the chains in one, simple move before sliding it back into the sheath deftly.

"You will kill when I _want_ you to." She said softly. "Not a moment before, not a moment after. Either that... Or I will make you _scream_ as I break you into pieces so that you never cut anything again."

There was no answer from the cold steel, yet the seeping, oppressive power spread out, settling on the kunoichi's shoulders with the easy of strange familiarity that was there, yet not. The two priests of Jashin came running, only to lose their heads in a final, and quite permanent death as they met the two thousand years of the blood drinking steel.

Sasuke-chan smirked, sliding her finger down the hilt gently.

"Good boy." She purred.

If it was possible for the steel to purr, Majinken, the last of Muramasa killer blades would have done so.

* * *

The doors were guarded.

Naruto, cloak billowing, hand out, didn't miss a step as the fuuton seals shattered the arms of the nearest scythe wielding priest.

Another screamed as the ooze that appeared to slither out of the blond man with slitted eyes oozed down the floor and start to melt the skin off the hapless worshipers.

The trident held in a clawed hand ran through the nearest acolyte who tried to attack from behind. The siren waggled her finger playfully in a chiding gesture, before ripping man in half, leaving him screaming and convulsing on the floor.

"You will not pass, godless trash!"

"Is that so?" For the first time since entering the corridor, Naruto stopped, looking at the large number of priests, all armed and seething with killer intent he felt it even before walking inside, standing before it.

"You think we will surrender our holy knowledge to the blasphemous monster such as you?" The leader, an abbot by the looks of his ornate robe.

"If you had a brain you would have. You don't... so you all die." The jinchuuriki said with a shrug.

"Fool! We are the children of the One who Brings Oblivion, the true god of death and destruction!" The abbot spat. "From His mighty hand, the power flows down to US, to crush the unbelievers and bring the eternal and complete annihilation in His glorious name! We are legion and immortal! How do you think to stand against us?!"

Naruto calmly reached under his cowl, withdrawing the thin cylinder, only for the chakra pulse sent through it to resound with a hiss and a slight smell of ozone as the power formed the glowing shape of a blade.

The ruby glow lit the corridor faintly, but enough to reveal the smirk under the cowl.

"With force, priest. With _overwhelming force!_"

The jinchuuriki laughed, leaping forward, the ruby blade of the copy of the Raijin no Ken in his hand.

* * *

The dead and dying littered the corridors. At least upwards. None of the priests escaped, none could. They knew how many there were, knew exactly where they where and knew all the routes. None escaped. Some yet lived, the bloody rituals of the Jashin keeping them when others would die.

There were reinforcements coming.

They would regret it soon.

"So it really was a temple." Sasuke drew her hand over the bone altar. She shook her head. "I think I just managed to hate those guys more." The neo girl said thoughtfully. "I didn't think that it was possible, you know?"

"The monks of Jashin - the most impossible stupidity imaginable with the most hypocrisy possible in one, neat little package." Naruto shrugged. "What did you expect?"

"True." The kunoichi looked at the blond. "You done?"

"Sealed. There are some things left here but whatever is left is so damn nasty I won't be touching that with a ten meter pole." Naruto said with disgust. "Ugh. I felt like having a bath just by looking at it after I checked the... uses and.. sources of some of those things."

Sasuke frowned. Naruto wasn't exactly squeamish - but if he reacted like that...

Naruto paused, before looking up.

"Hasty bastards." He cursed, reaching for the Raijin copy, only to be stopped by Sasuke.

"No. Let me." She said softly, two one handed seals activating the gloves, another two lighting the spark.

A moment later, a colmun of violet flame rose on Sasuke's palm, giving the traditionally clad kunoichi an unreal, ethereal aura as the crackling blaze reflected in her eyes.

Naruto frowned, letting go of the copy Raijin.

The gloves, contrary to what one might thing, didn't 'make' fire. They were called 'affinity gloves' - made in a similar way to the chakra paper, they were a weapon of a ninjutsu specialist who was also a specialist at his elemental affinity. A troublesome, and dangerous weapon - they allowed one to skip almost half of the seals in the jutsu and also concentration of entire potential into one affinity. All the power, all the energy - focused in one point.

The gloves weren't exactly popular - one of those cost the same as a good quality chakra sword, they had to be tailored for an affinity, sealed up for the user and, above all, all that work would go to waste fairly quickly. The amount of power channeled through them, combined with the frail structure made them burn out quickly. Not to mention even specialist felt it was foolish to force themselves to use exclusively one type of jutsu in combat - which the gloves forced them to do, since they made any other jutsu impossible for the time they were worn.

On the hands of a katon specialist with an almost unnaturally high fire affinity, years of practice, more katon jutsu than entire libraries and knowledge how to work the gloves to the maximum effect, especially ones sealed using the tainted power of the bijuu...

"This kind of fire..." He said slowly. "You know that when you use that..."

"Oh believe me." The Uchiha smiled grimly. "I know very well."

Jutsu after a jutsu, blaze after a blaze, the violet hue consumed a little more with each second.

Sasuke, the kimono and crimson hakama untouched by the flame, the long hair free of their previous braid flailing around like a dark companion to the violet hell, danced, each step bringing calamity, each graceful move consuming a bit more. The circle of fire rose around her, not touching for a second, but burning everything in sight.

She looked at the blond, her eyes as violet as his now, that the blaze consumed them madly.

The blond sighed, before smirking.

He sent Keisei to get the boat, so she wasn't a factor. And if Sasuke wanted fire so much...

"Hell, why not?"

The runes glowed as the scroll unraveled from one arm, only to bind his wrists loosely, as he slowly completed seal after seal.

The jutsu, though it wasn't actually a jutsu, but more like summoning something he halfway sealed before and giving it a little 'kick' so to speak. Wasn't particularly flashy, even if devastating. However combined with enough fire and power, the Atsoryokuha scroll could work a lightshow unlike any other.

The air circled around him with a hiss before exploding.

"Ashes to ashes..."

Sasuke smirked, before spreading her arms.

The concentrated burst of air exploded.

The purple blaze grew, the fiery violet phoenix rising through the roof of the Zanktosu temple, incinerating any priest of the god of violence that stood it its way with a screech and unquenchable thirst only fire was capable of.

As the swirl of shunsin consumed the duo, its wings spread, the fiery phoenix swooped on the burning temple with a roar of blazing inferno, burning everything in its path.

* * *

"This is just..." The blond blinked, looking at the inferno of violet fire. "Shiiiiny..." he said, almost hypnotized by the raging fire.

The 'overkill' factor not withstanding... the violet blaze was just so damn cool to look at in such quantity...

"Yeah. It is." Sasuke burst out laughing. "Shiny!" She grabbed a bottle of sake before sitting on the deck, right next to Naruto while pouring herself and Naruto some alcohol to the cups.

"Man... that's what I call purification..." Naruto said with awe, before grabbing the cup and toasting Sasuke with a grin.

"Isn't it though?" The kunoichi said cheerfully. "Marshmallow?"

"Don't mind if I do."

* * *

TBC...

* * *

Glossary:

Zukotsu: skull

Seisen: creation, beginning, genesis

Gensen: lit. 'source'.

Atsoryokuha: lit. 'pressure wave'.


	7. Chapter 7

Edited by Skelethin.

Special thanks go to Cornuthaum, Nightelf, Typhonis, Vasey, Yasuhei, MageOhki, Aleh and TFF in general for comments and help. You know who you all are.

* * *

Reload

Chapter 7

* * *

"Avalon."

* * *

Go forward and don't dare to stop.

Or she'll kill you.

Step. Up.

Twist.

The foot stomps, the concentric ring of chakra invisible to the eye but oh-so-visible to the senses.

The footing. The footing and the balance, because acrobatics, as fun as they were, would make him lose. Solid, like him. Solid, like the center. Solid... and fluid like his power.

The arms move, not really striking, more like lifting, and dragging and snapping.

Atemi.

Not the fist, not crude, not dependent on power alone.

The pulse moves with it. Along it. Fluid and rapid, the earth under his feet, the power in his body and the vector of the force.

And the rock...

...breaks.

It doesn't shatter. It doesn't explode in the orgy of rapid power his body can field - it just... breaks. Smoothly, as if cut.

Many disdained it, the simple power of a well placed blow. He did as well, at one time. It wasn't flashy, it wasn't grand it just looked so damn ridiculously plain!

Aikijutsu.

A simple name for a terrifying power in the hands of a master.

He was. Not completely, no. His mind knew what to do but the body... ah, a different matter altogether. But then he was a cheater. He could burn it into his muscles, tear them, grind it into his bones as he broke them, and soon, the body knew what the mind had mastered a long time ago.

He wasn't like Sasuke, with sharingan spinning, feeding the information directly to the chakra coils, forcing the body to move even if muscles didn't know how. He wasn't like Sasuke, with the instinctive mastery of combat, of pace, of tactics and maneuvers that switched effortlessly from the simplistic Konoha Gouken, through the Uchiha Kasen Ryu, the direct and terrifying might of Koken, the deceptive softness of Taijiquan, the elegant Baquazhang or the styles that he didn't even know the names of.

It was ironic. They were both shinobi, both hardened warriors with experience - _gods_ but did they have experience! But no matter the sharingan, no matter the time, no matter the... motivation... Sasuke was brilliant.

Oh, it wasn't that Naruto himself lacked talent, no.

He had the intuitive grasp of tactics in combat even before, the instinct of a fighter and unquenchable thirst for victory that few could match. But Sasuke... Sasuke was an artist. Fluid and graceful, deadly and skilled beyond what most thought possible. Even if the body wasn't up to it, even when the wheels of the sharingan laid dormant in the onyx eyes... he _had_ it.

As ironic as it was, Sasuke was the better shinobi between them. More precise, more skilled and possessing an arsenal of combat jutsu that few could equal.

Itachi certainly couldn't.

In combat, Sasuke shone brightly, like an edge of a masterwork sword. Luminous, sharp and unstoppable.

Naruto didn't shine. Naruto flickered, like a chaotic flame. Up and down, back and forth, in and out of visibility. Coarser, both more direct and more devious than the Uchiha heir by far. They both knew it.

Where Sasuke was a shinobi, Naruto was the magician. The trickster, the charlatan with very wide sleeves that hid tricks as crazy as they were entertaining. The master of the forge, the prince of overkill, the lord of lore and the king of crazy.

That was what Naruto was.

But even the jester needs to know how to strike when the toys are gone and jokes spent. Needs a fast eye and a coordination of the hand, all taught by that small, smiling man at the shrine in the hind-end of nowhere.

Sasuke gained the sword skills and the wisdom of a priestess from a beautiful miko of grand knowledge and refinement.

Naruto learned the deceptively simple power of atemi from an old man sweeping the stairs.

Overall, he thought he got the better deal.

After all, it all came to power in the end. All who chased it, all who were so enamored with it. True power this, true power that, I'll show you my power, I need power, I crave power, this is the true power...

Utter rubbish.

Really, it almost made him cry. Cry because he was laughing so damn hard he had tears in his eyes.

Power? Poor idiots. There is one, simple lesson to be learned about the ethereal dream the greedy chase after, for whatever the reason.

The so called 'true power' didn't exist. It was an illusion for the greedy, a mirage for the weak and the opium for the obsessed. The simple truth about power, was that all was power. In the end, it only came down how you used it.

Turn weakness into strength. The old shinobi adage that held true, yet one that so few shinobi practiced, choosing mirages and empty promises instead. Besides... power without direction was aimless, and always came back to bite you in the ass. Sometimes even to chomp you whole in one, meaty crunch.

Oh _that_ Naruto knew well.

'Biiiitchy fox...' Naruto chuckled, stepping forward as Sasuke danced, stopping on the top of a rock, balancing like a child that found a new favorite game.

Was the fox his 'power'?

Of course she was! Turn weakness into strength, the burden into a prize and a sad fate into a glorious destiny!

When life gives you lemons, squeeze them and make champagne. Let the morons around you gape like children in a circus at the trick and break their heads how the fuck you did it, while your sexy assistant robs them blind with a smile.

That was how you went about it.

Of course, in this case his sexy assistant had nine tails and was more 'it' than 'she' but then, was he not a charlatan? _She_ was whatever _he_ wanted her as and since he was a he, that meant it was a she. It was more fun that way.

And, really, don't bitch little bitch. Kitsune were the creatures of shapeshifting powers, no? The legends of fox-wives were still told to children far and wide.

Well, save for Konoha, of course. But then the last 'fox-wife' that appeared left more than just a broken hearted man in her wake. No matter, no matter. Water under the bridge and the shinigami's robe, and all that. The debt to the village paid, the threat over - thank you _very_ much.

Now all that remained was the debt of a more... personal nature and bond that would send the seal scholars screaming and running for the hills had they known the true meaning of the 'sacrifice' they pushed onto a child too young to know or choose.

Everything has a price - no such thing as a free lunch, you know. And _this_ lunch was more like a month long imperial feast and was expensive. Oh yes. So. Very. Expensive.

After all, the world wasn't fair, but karma, while a bitch and liking it, always paid her dues.

That, and Lady Benten was one damn hot and fine lady to seduce and leave breathless, moaning your name time and time again. She loved it, the slutty Lady Luck.

But did you hear him complaining? Hell no!

The fists met and Sasuke smirked, pressing the advantage before spinning with a kick that would have taken his head off had he been anyone else.

Remember - go forward and don't dare to stop.

Or she'll kill you.

"Bitch!"

Sasuke's laughter resounded over the small, rocky patch of terrain that claimed to be an island and she came down, feet first even as she spun in a corkscrew maneuver.

'Screw is right! She's screwing me over!'

So step forward, and punch, kick and move like your life depends on it, jinchuuriki. Or she'll crush you. She'll _kill_ you.

Tighten the distance, get the good footing and cut her in the fucking middle distance. And pray that she doesn't go into bajiquan fast enough. That rake palm thing _hurts_.

Close - that's the only way. Because Sasuke was like a demented rabbit on speed. One that seemed to grow fucking wings, claws and became a dragon with more limbs than he could count.

It was so _damn_ fucking humiliating. All that power, all that 'I'm jinchuuriki of the Kyuubi - hear me fucking roar!' kind of power and...

...and he was thrown around like a ragdoll by a sexy little waif that wasn't.

Bitch... just didn't cut it.

"A point for me." She said smugly, leaning on one of the rocks, almost mocking him with the lazy grace and a 'come hither' gesture. "Again."

"Keep dreaming, bitch." Naruto snorted, cracking his neck. "Do I look like I'm down?"

"Not yet. But then..." The haughty toss of hair that annoyed him and did some goddamn fucking awful things to Sasuke's chest was languid and slow. Painful. Damn painful, really.

Why did he agree to fight her when she was wearing nothing but the rather tight, backless kunoichi apparel anyway?

The apparel that was almost _gone_ now, and of course he was too stupid to surrender or back down, the deviant bastard was too amused to stop and he had a sneaking suspicion - nay, a fucking _certainty_ - that it was all about that tantalizing bit of flesh in the end. After all, he knew her... him... ah... damn, who cared right now?

And still, they fought. Spun and weaved in that dance of skill, tearing muscles and sincere desire to beat the shit out of each other, dominate and go even higher and higher until they broke.

A sort of sado-masochistic re-telling of the entire process of learning that took them from the shattered beginnings to now, a kind of inane 'return to the basics' feel that they both craved.

But in the end, it was all about fun and beating the shit out of each other.

Sasuke-chan smirked, stretching, before entering a dance-like move that ended with a kick that missed his throat by centimeter.

Fun. Fun all the way.

"You want to play?" The blond smirked, as he felt the familiar, oh-so-welcome feeling of feedback from his Kage Bunshin making it back. Oh yes. Honey couldn't be sweeter in this case, all right. "Let's play, BITCH!"

The scroll wasn't needed, the seals were in his memory as if he carved them himself.

Sasuke jumped back as the chakra erupted.

"Kuchiyose, Azumaya!"

And walls rose, even as Sasuke tried to punch, growing straight out of the ground and letting her crash against them.

"...the h-" She stopped, sliding down, before spinning on top of it gracefully. "So." The neo-girl eyed the rock slabs covered with seal lining all over. "That is what your horde was cutting the rock for, hmm?"

"I told you I just needed the materials for it, eh?" Naruto chuckled. "Behold - the first in the history, completely independent stone house summoning!"

"Feh. It is just rock." Sasuke snorted, before kicking back, her fingers moving in the string of familiar seals and smirked as the nails of her fingers lengthened, the tell-tale haze of chakra appearing around them. "Eat some Kugi, then!" She sneered, slashing at the wall viciously... only to pale.

"Did I mention it is small enough for me to channel my chakra through it?" Naruto buffed his nails, while Sasuke slid down, cursing and leaving a trail of sparks. "No? So sorry."

The Uchiha heiress lowered her head, shaking.

"Bastard... that HURT!" She screamed, before kicking up a piece of rock, and twisting upside down.

Naruto's eyes widened as he felt the familiar backlash of Initial Gate and he hit the dirt as Sasuke's bare foot made contact with the rock, sending it flying at his previous position. Right _through_ the summoned wall.

"Shit!" The pale blond looked at the hole. "You want to kill me or something?!"

"Shut up and just fucking DIE!" Snapped the kunoichi as the Daitoppa slammed into the rocks, lifting Naruto up, only to be consumed by a rapidly growing silhouette of the Karyuu En Dan.

The dragon exploded, sparks of charred rock showering the ground and Sasuke snarled, turning to the spooked jinchuuriki who just completed his kawarimi.

"Calm down, dammit!" Naruto growled, slamming his fingers into the rock, the columns or stone rising rapidly, only to be nimbly evaded by the neo-girl.

"Calm down? Calm DOWN?!" Sasuke-chan snarled, before pouting and pointing at her hand. "Look what you have done to my nails, you stupid moron!"

Naruto stopped, staring.

"...nails?" He said dumbly.

"Here I spend my days carefully tanning, picking up dresses, planning to look my damn best to the point of avoiding any strenuous activity... and you ruin it?! I am supposed to look sexy, sophisticated and seductive - broken nails do _not_ sexy, sophisticated and seductive make!" She huffed.

Naruto blinked owlishly.

"Sasuke?" He said finally.

"What?!" The Uchiha genius snarled. And, really. He didn't want to know how the fuck did that deviant manage to make a homicidal snarl look both pouty and cute at the same time.

"Well?!" The kunoichi asked dangerously.

"Ah... broken nails or no, you'll still look good anyway." Naruto offered weakly, deciding that, after all, discretion was the better part of valor in this case.

Sasuke blinked, frowning.

"I will, won't I?" She said speculatively, looking down at her body and perking up. "After all I _am_ damn hot, no?"

Naruto just sighed.

"What was that, moron?" Sasuke-chan asked sweetly, her eyebrow twitching.

Naruto took a step back, laughing weakly.

So he was a coward. Big deal. Dealing with the enraged, Oiroke Sasuke-chan was far more dangerous than dealing with male Sasuke. Those hormones could be damn fucking scary at work, especially when her appearance came into play.

"I can't hear you, Na-ru-to-kun." She sing-songed sweetly.

"Yes, you are damn fucking hot!" He said quickly.

"Heh." Sasuke-chan smirked as she leaned towards him. "Point for me. Again." she hummed.

Naruto blinked owlishly.

"Wha-?"

The kunoichi threw her hair over her back, the scented pony-tail sliding over his face like a curtain of silk as she turned on her heel, walking away with the fluid grace dancers would kill to have.

Naruto stood there, a confused look on his face, before an understanding dawned.

His eyebrow twitched.

"Why... that... sneaky... fucking, underhanded, shameless, oversexed, slutty little BITCH!" He snarled finally, managing to find his voice.

"And that's another point for me, you know!" Came Sasuke's gleeful voice from the distance and Naruto cursed, staring balefully at the silhouette sashaying towards the nearby boat with a spring in her step that she didn't bother to hide.

The blond slumped, sitting on a nearby rock.

"...well, fuck." He muttered dejectedly, before a stifled chuckle erupted from his throat. "Goddamn him... her... aww, fuck it...!"

Naruto threw his head back, his body following until he hit the ground, not stopping his chuckle.

"Damn that bitch... man, but she got me and _good_!" He muttered, before laughing again. "Though you have to give her one thing. She _is_ rather hot."

Still chuckling, the jinchuuriki got up, following his friend to the boat.

It was a beautiful day, after all. And a really hot one.

It would be a shame to waste it.

* * *

The beer was cold, the seals keeping it chilly just the way they liked it.

They, because after so many years-that-weren't, some of their tastes and actions were just the same side of the same coin, over and over again.

They... polarized, for the lack of better word. Opposite in some cases, alike in others, and still on the same coin in the end.

They learned to accept it, live it, and even like it a long time ago. The choice or lack of it stopped to matter. The time was no toy, but they could use it in the ways few could. They could adapt to it like few could as well.

When one lost... things, and places, and people and almost everything else with inevitability that was just plain ridiculous, one learned to adapt to the change swiftly.

Go forward, or die.

"Man... that was a great workout!" Sasuke stretched on the sun-warmed deck, not even bothering with a blanket to lay on. On the other hand, when one could use chakra as cushion over one's body, it was kind of redundant.

"Yeah." Naruto took a chug off his beer. "There is always something funny about that time you know?"

"Yes." The neo-girl snapped her arm to the side so fast it became a blur, only to slowly pull it back to her on the very same path. "It is like filling out the kid's coloring book, you know? The shape is there, you only need to add the color, that damn deja vu." She smirked. "Seems like you can get used to everything, no?"

"Almost." The blond frowned, balancing the bottle on his finger. It was more than just showing off - his chakra control was shitty beyond belief for the things he could do and he needed it as fast as he could get it, as much as he could get it. He never liked it, that cursed handicap.

At least Sasuke had it easy - a large part of it being mental, the bastard had a ball of the time controlling the relatively modest amount on a level that would shame some medic nins, while every scrap of control in Naruto's case had to be fought relentlessly for.

"You're overdoing it, you know. Taking a burn like that..."

"Oh relax, relax." Sasuke-chan sighed, pulling her glasses down a little bit. "I'm just using the opportunity."

"You are going full burn, right away, bastard. You want that power that much?" The jinchuuriki frowned, stealing the glance at the gloves on Sasuke's otherwise bare hands.

"Not really but... if I had the burn, it'd be a shame to waste it. And I admit..." She chuckled. "Working on that kind of... meager power level is just so very _annoying_."

"Don't overdo it, eh?" Naruto took a long swing lazily. "It is bad enough you are locked like that. But you get whimsical, yanno?"

The Uchiha raised an eyebrow with a smirk.

"Whimsical-er, rather." The blond muttered, sighing. "It gets to you, that thing. Don't overdo it, okay?"

"I've been handling it for decades, Naruto." She snorted, taking a swing off her bottle. "Give me some credit." The Uchiha smiled. "Besides, it isn't like you'd let anything happen, no?"

The blond blinked, before snorting .

"Noticed that, didn't you?"

"Your chakra, Kyuubi or not, is very... distinctive." She tapped her chest lightly. "Deep in here, it is all clear."

"If your definition of 'clear' is mingling of three types of chakra over the celestial gates..." The blond shook his head.

"I treat it as a gift." She chuckled.

The blond rolled his eyes.

"Gift, she says." He muttered, draining the bottle with one swallow. "Shit, you're really fucking crazy, you know?"

"Who's crazier - the crazy or the one that follows him?" The neo-girl said cheerfully.

"Ha!" Naruto reached, snagging two thrown - or rather fish-tail batted - beer bottles out of the air - summon usage at its finest in his opinion. Well, almost. And a seal to prevent the bottle from exploding all over when opened - a marvelous invention that took more effort and knowledge than most would believe. "In that case, out of the crew of this most wonderful boat, Hana's the single fucking craziest person period."

"Well said." Sasuke grinned, before blinking as she took a look at the beer. "The Grass country lager... huh?" She looked to the side, noticing Keisei lazily swimming and playing with water around the case of cooling beers.

"What Grass lager?" Naruto frowned. "It is Izaya dark stout! You blind or something?"

Sasuke pointed at her bottle and Naruto blinked.

"Well I'll be damned..." He muttered. "I guess we got lucky on the resupply."

"Not _that_ lucky, Naruto." Sasuke said with an odd look. "I had my lager held in the cargo room, under all the food. I didn't even open that case. Did your Kage Bunshin...?"

The blond shook his head.

"I'd know." He said, scratching his chin. "Now that's odd..."

"I'd say." The neo-girl muttered. "Who stocked that case in the water?"

"Not my Kage Bunshin, I thought you did."

"Are you kidding? We've been getting sweaty since early morning." She puffed her lips. "As if I had the time, or the need to go into that cargo hold."

"So of you didn't...?"

The jinchuuriki paused, and the duo looked at each other, before they looked at the frolicking siren, who had apparently found playmates in some young dolphins, yet managed a cheerful smile and wave at them.

"Naruto...?" Sasuke said after a moment. "How independently intelligent is she, really?"

The blond looked at his friend for a moment, before opening his beer and taking a long swing.

"To tell the truth, I have no bloody idea." He said cheerfully.

Sasuke blinked owlishly.

"...what?"

"No idea. At all!" Naruto grinned. "Remember what I told you about the connection between her and the theory about the Mokuton?"

Sasuke froze.

"You created... a summon. A quasi-sentient, A-class Suiton-capable, tactically advanced, chakra-trident equipped, Kyuubi-powered living weapon... without knowing what she can or can't do?" Sasuke said slowly.

"Not... exactly. It is more to say I gave the blueprint and... ah, kind of had her... cooperate." The blond said sheepishly, before his grin widened. "Awesome, isn't she?"

As if sensing she was being praised, Keisei casually outpaced the dolphins, making it back to the boat with speed that was almost unreal, before gracefully swinging her tail and coming to a stop with a cheerful wave and a wide smile. The blond waved back, chuckling.

Sasuke stared at Naruto for a long moment, before she opened her beer and drained the half of it with one swing.

"Naruto?" She said after a long moment.

"Yeah?" The blond said distractedly from observing the perfectly built silhouette of his siren, who was more than happy to show off for her master.

"There are moments where you really, unquestionably, overwhelmingly fucking scare me." She said calmly. "And, without a doubt, this is one of them."

"Huh?" Naruto blinked, looking at his friend.

Sasuke just sighed, patting the blond mane with resignation.

"Nothing, Naruto. Nothing."

* * *

"Sanshu no jingi, hmm?" Naruto squinted, looking at the map. "Not very impressive."

"They don't need to be. Only the name matters." Sasuke sheathed the Majinken, the contained malevolent presence disappearing as if it was never there. In some sense, it wasn't - Sasuke could wear it like a cloak, but in the end, there was only one master in that relationship.

"The three sacred treasures." The blond snorted.

"Exactly." The Uchiha heir said with satisfaction, pulling on her gloves and snapping her fingers even as she trailed them in a half circle, up and down. The brief, violet blaze outlined the shape of the crescent moon in the evening air. "How do you like your legends and fairy tales... my lord?"

Naruto's eyes widened a fraction.

* * *

Listen, for this is a story as old as time.

Listen, for this is the story of valor, of love, of treachery and of nobility marred with greed.

Listen, o noble one, to the story of the Great serpent Yamata no Orochi, and the great lord of storms Susanoo.

Listen, o noble one, to the story of virtues and might - of great power and valor, of Ame no Murakumo no Tsurugi that was known later as Kusanagi, the sword of wind; the wisdom of Mirror of Yata, and the benevolence of the Jewel of Yasakani.

But... you do know that story already, don't you?

* * *

"All right, what has the legendary sword and some ancient story to do with it all?" Hana said sceptically.

"Everything!" Sasuke laughed. "Do you know it?"

"The great god of storms, Susanoo, in return for the hand of the beautiful maiden Kushinada, defeated the eight headed serpent Orochi, recovering Ame no Murakumo no Tsurugi." Hana rolled her eyes. "Really, that's a fairly tale, you know."

"Ah, of course. _But_!" Sasuke said, waving her finger. "There are many, many many versions of that legend, my dear." The Uchiha chuckled. "And one of them states, that Orochi, being as mighty as it was devious and unwilling to accept his loss, called forth servants - eight warriors of great power. Realizing he was outnumbered and seeing that the situation was indeed dire... Susanoo called forth champions of his own!"

The Inuzuka blinked.

What was that demented deviant s-

"Wait... I remember something about this... the Three Thunders - the mortals who helped the gods out of their own will." She muttered, frowning.

"Behold, my dear - the trio were the mighty if brash lord of the nearby lands, accompanied by his calm, yet sharp cousin and the wise, beautiful priestess. Upon them, the grateful kami of the lands bestowed gifts matching their strengths, and names to mark them forever more." Sasuke reached for a blast note, swiftly cutting it apart and detonating it, the scattered pattern forming a brief, blazing circle.

"The brash, yet powerful and courageous lord had been given the Ame no Murakumo no Tsurugi found in the belly of the beast - the sword known as Kusanagi, forevermore sealing his path. The kind, yet devious cousin, for his benevolence and lost barrels of sake used to make the beast drunk, was given the keen eye and symbol of his benevolence to bring him good fortune - the Jewel of Yasakani."

Her fingers drew a purple, blazing moon in the air.

"And for the priestess, who was as beautiful as she was courageous, was bestowed the Mirror of Yata, so she could see things as they were - be they far or near - in her worldly wisdom."

The kunoichi bowed in a most theatrical manner Hana would found comical, if not for the grace and obvious flair the Uchiha displayed.

"What has that got to do with anything?" The older kunoichi said sceptically.

"What?Why, _everything_!" Sasuke snickered, unrolling the map, her kunai stabbing a small point on the otherwise clear sector of the sea. "Three islands, once belonging to somebody, now to nobody... save for the wanderers they were recently... given to." Her grin grew a little wider.

"The Kusanagi." She tapped a long, sword-like island.

"The Yasakani." her finger circled a magatama-shaped companion to the first one.

"And, last but not least... The Yata." She drew a circle over a roughly round-shaped and last of the small cluster of islands. "Sanshu no Jingi. Offering the name, giving the land... and granting a title, however humble thanks to a friend most gracious."

The Inuzuka's eyes widened.

"So tell me, my good lady..." The neo-girl suddenly was so damn _close_ that the other woman took a startled step back. "How would you like to come to the city of vice, riches and pleasure in the company of the Sun and the Moon?"

Hana blinked owlishly.

* * *

"That is..." Hana didn't know if to laugh, palm her face or just stare in stupor.

She chose a compromise and took a swing of the expensive wine that 'somehow' found its way onto the Enterprise when she wasn't looking.

And it _was_ expensive. Her clan, while not exactly rich, wasn't exactly hurting for money either, but that kind of alcohol she had tasted only once in her life, a few years back and it was a truly grand occasion.

Those two didn't even bother complimenting it, treating the wine no better than water, and just as commonly. Who the hell heard of using real, honest to kami Roushu as a... a... _picnic_ drink?!

She swallowed, absentmindedly reflecting that with her second glass she probably drank through several nice, C-rank paychecks in less than fifteen minutes.

'Though... It is a nice picnic...' She admitted, a tiny bit of a giggle welling in her throat.

Ever since she returned to the boat after fairly nondescript 'mission' and heard of the... idea, things had just been... odd. Not bad, just odd. More than usual, that is - whatever that nice, friendly and so conspicuously absent 'usual' entailed, anyway.

After all, how often can one dine on a private island?

"Hmm..." Sasuke-chan sipped from her glass, looking at the island, or islands, rather. The Sanshu no Jingi archipelago - though it could be hardly called that - was more like a one, moderately sized island cut into shapes by clear lines of water channels than anything else. Still, they were separate, just not far enough for it to be a problem. "A little bare and it really could be bigger, but it is a really nice spot." She decided.

Hana nodded absently. When she heard of the strange 'deal' - and she was damn sure that Sasuke was either lying her ass off or was hiding some stuff she'd rather not know about in regards to it being a 'gift', she expected three patches of dry rock, and not much else.

Instead, what she got were three small, but far from bare islands with their own trees, beaches, and even a bit of a mountain or two. Not much - if any of them was bigger than Konoha she'd be very surprised - but still, not the sad, lifeless bits of rock and gravel she imagined before.

"It's not so bad..." The Inuzuka murmured, looking at it critically. "There is some sweet water around, from what I can smell, and enough ground to farm in a pinch... not to mention the fish."

She nodded towards the fire that had several fishes slowly being roasted to perfection on it - the smell of herbs was getting stronger by the minute and she could barely stop herself from licking her lips.

Naruto caught them in less than twenty minutes, and she had seen enough to know that it'd be a fisherman's paradise. As a whole, the place was a little sparse but...

"Hell... Some work, a little sweat and I think you could build yourself a house here, or something."

"Want one?"

Hana blinked at Naruto's careless question.

"I asked, if you want one." The blond took a sip of wine. "There's plenty of wood, a helluva lot of stone... hell, I could build a manor here, while we're at it. There is enough stuff around. So, want one?"

"What?"

"It is your island, you know." Naruto shrugged.

"Thanks, but I only have so much time before I need to be back." She said dryly, before her eyes widened. "Wait, what do you mean 'my island'?"

"Well, it is." He unrolled the map. "Kusanagi is me - so it is mine." He pointed at the roughly sword-shaped island."Yasakani's Sasuke's," His finger circled over a magatama-shaped island. "and the Yata is yours." He tapped the round-shaped one. "Haven't you been listening?"

"Well... yes, but I thought you were..." She muttered with confusion, before freezing. "Wait... wait a damn second! Time the fuck out! You mean that the islands are real?"

"Hana... we are having a freaking picnic on one of them." Sasuke deadpanned. "What do you think?"

"So... that talk about titles is..." She trailed off, looking at the grinning Naruto and cheerfully humming Sasuke. "Oh you gotta be fucking kidding me." The kunoichi said slowly. "There is no way... no _fucking_ way having three patches of rock makes you actually a noble."

"In this case? Sure it does." The Uchiha smirked. "See, it had been a leftover of a protectorate of one of the countries that stopped existing in... well, before Konoha was around, anyway. When the wars were over, and the original owners were gone... the territories got assimilated - the islands, technically, never were, since there was nothing of interest here. They just fell under a... protectorate, so to speak."

"So?" Hana said skeptically. "That just means those are pieces of rock with no formal standing."

"And here is where it gets interesting." The Uchiha heir smirked. "You see, those islands changed hands - on paper at least - for decades, being 'a part of territory'. All on paper. But... originally they weren't conquered - they were an autonomous territory because in the chaos of the wars no one ever took time to look at its standing from the legal standpoint. So, when the original daimyo who took the islands under the 'protectorate' way back, was killed and his country assimilated, that territory technically never was, but wasn't dissolved either. Which meant..."

Hana's eyes widened.

"...the title and rights were just in dormancy, for the owner to decide..." She choked out. "Oh. my. fucking. kami. How could anyone be that stupid! That's insane!"

"It is politics, so it is both more often than not." Naruto shrugged philosophically. "More wine, Hana-chan?"

"I wonder if it shouldn't be Hana-sama..." Sasuke said thoughtfully, tapping her cheek. "She _is_ a ruler of her own fiefdom. Technically."

The woman in question stared at the duo, before sighing.

"Ah, whatever. What is a title between equals, eh?" She pushed the glass in the blond's direction. "Pour away, my lord Kusanagi."

Naruto bowed mockingly.

"As you wish, my good lady Yata. And if you might be so kind and grab our good lady Yasakani's glass as well, lest she become annoyed at being passed over?"

"Indeed." Hana said solemnly, reaching for the glass. "By your leave, my lady?"

Sasuke-chan nodded regally, if with a touch of the demure charm that was just so damn weird it made Hana's head spin. Or maybe it was wine?

"As you will it, my good lady Yata, my lord Kusanagi." She murmured. "It is always delightful to be in company of one's peers and away from the common rabble, no?"

"Indeed. Here we have company worthy of ourselves." Naruto nodded solemnly. "Ourselves."

Hana laughed hysterically, falling on the warm blanket.

* * *

"Mhmm..." Sasuke circled the girl slowly. "You're too tense."

"What?" Hana blinked.

"You're too tense - no one will believe you have fun like that." The Uchiha heiress lectured. "Relax, let yourself go - hell, drink a little and try to hold on to that slight, mellow feeling."

The fan tapped the Inuzuka's lips.

"And do smile, mmkay? You're sexy, you have your pretty, pretty claws in a handsome, rich guy - you have plenty of reasons to smile at him sexily, and at others with arrogance."

Sasuke smirked, her eyes somehow becoming slightly misty and dreamy but coupled with a shameless smile and a touch of arrogance presented an unexpectedly alluring image.

Hana shuddered.

Ever since she agreed to this idiocy, Sasuke reached a whole new level of disturbing. Twelve year old boys weren't supposed to be seductive women. Or give their seniors lessons on how to seduce people - and not just sexually.

Seducing didn't mean throwing on a 'come hither' smile, sexy strut and winding up in bed to fuck each other stupid before the day was done. A smile, a gesture, a word and a look - a woman could seduce a woman just as well with no sexual intent involved, as Hana was starting to discover. And the fact that Uchiha was not a woman didn't help, since right now she was technically was one. So the point was kind of moot.

And that fan, along with loose silk yukata the disturbing Uchiha was wearing only provoked flashbacks to the Sunflower brothel and that maddeningly erotic dance that left Hana more than just a little flushed and bothered. She was no prude, but the things were a wee bit too close for comfort there.

Hana shuddered again.

If she had a tiny bit less of pride, she'd whimper.

Why did she agree to this again? She couldn't remember - Sunflower was so distant and hazy now, covered with a sweet veil of alcoholic forgetfulness.

Not.

"You know... those Clan marks would actually look very good with that make up." Sasuke murmured. "They would add a certain... feral appeal to the sophistication and silk. A very nice effect, really."

"Forget it." Hana muttered. "There is no way I'm going there as... well, me. Not with what you have in mind."

"Well lookie here, you're catching on quick." Naruto chuckled, taking a swing off his bottle.

"Shut up, you!" Sasuke pointed her fan at the offending jinchuriki but not turning her eyes away from her victim. It didn't escape Hana's attention the Uchiha could unerringly pinpoint Naruto's location every time - senses or no, chakra sensory skill or no, you just couldn't be that accurate unless you were a Hyuuga. She didn't let it bother her, though - those little 'oddities' were filling her daily life now and if she let them pile up they'd drown her. She liked her sanity as it was right now, thank you very much. "No comments from the peanut gallery!"

It took a heroic enough effort of will not to think about her future report to the Hokage. Alcohol went a long way when it came to that - especially given the two pervs were the ones picking up the tab. Or Sasuke was, she had no idea - it got confusing, since the Uchiha seemed to hold the money but Naruto had no qualms about spending it whatsoever and Sasuke was no better.

It was as if the duo simply didn't care and spent on everything and anything that struck their fancy. Like it? Take it. Just like that, no second thoughts. Hana was trying not to think what would happen if Naruto lost those poker games. Not because of the debts, oh no - she was rather afraid of what those two idiots might concoct to get out of it, which might involve simply running, blowing something up or anything and everything in between.

She wasn't stupid, dammit - those yaks in Sunflower were _terrified_. Not merely cautious - which she'd have understood after the stunt Sasuke pulled in the brothel - but absolutely terrified, the stench of almost gut-wrenching fear hanging over them like a shroud.

And the fact that the pervert duo walked through the docks with lazy self assurance of a prince and smugness of a cat that ate the canary didn't escape her attention either. Nor did it escape her eyes that the rather pale yakuza were treated like a cross between personal honor guard and such a canary.

There was something off with the two, of that she was damn sure. Well, more wrong than what was already wrong. Or something. Overall, maybe it was better not to ask? The pace of things was hectic enough, and Hana wasn't so sure she could deal with the answers - more so with each passing day, not to mention the little pieces of chaos that seemed to come up from time to time, twisting the already rather odd situation a little more.

"Very good job on that make up by the way. With that delicate use of shadow and your naturally smooth hair when you let it go... it accents your eyes, gives them great allure." Sasuke smiled, her fingers tracing the contour of Hana's face almost too softly to be felt. "Why do you hide it so? You look beautiful."

Oh. Yes. Like that.

Hana blushed despite herself.

She tried to remember that it was just a really weird twelve year old that apparently got hit on his/her head one time too many in taijutsu sparring. She tried to assure herself it is just a very confused twelve year old with a jutsu that played havoc with his head even more.

She even tried to assure herself that said twelve year old might be simply a woman at heart and as such, since he was now a she and stayed a she it was okay but...

But she still blushed.

Like a little academy chick straight onto her first crush.

The only good thing about it was that not one of her fellow kunoichi or her friends was here.

'Oh gods... that would make it even worse.' She thought with a wince.

"And you blush _so_ nice!" Sasuke pouted. "It is better than any make up I have, and comes off so naturally, giving you a slightly innocent, yet refreshingly honest sultry shade! Kyaa! I'm _so_ jealous!"

'No. Wait. I was wrong. This is worse.'

"Don't worry. It passes." Naruto said sympathetically.

"Somehow, that doesn't inspire my confidence." Hana muttered, turning away from the Uchiha, only to freeze.

She blinked, rubbing her eyes.

Nope. Nothing changed.

"...Naruto?" She choked out.

The blonde peered over her spectacles, pins in her mouth as she held some piece of cloth in her hands, taking some kinds of measurements.

'And speaking of measurements...' The Inuzuka thought dazedly.

She was tall - taller than Sasuke, and more voluptuous. Not that she was fat, oh no. The body was built just as perfectly as the female Uchiha, only more... curvy. Very curvy. She was a complete opposite of her companion - where Sasuke was lithe, pale skinned (at least before the tan) and her hair were inky, Naruto was voluptuous, with an arrogant curve of hips, legs and bosom that was almost lush.

Coupled with the faded straw of the hair held in a manner that was almost naggingly familiar, a comfortable shirt and pants that fit him just fine but stretched quite a bit on her, Naruto - or Naru_ko_ rather - looked like a sex kitten straight from an erotic fantasy.

Sasuke, as Hana found, was right. Naruko put them both to shame.

"Hmm?"

Hana swallowed.

Even Naruto's voice was almost unnervingly... lush. Where Sasuke's was smooth, melodious and she at times expected to hear the ancient-sounding speech of tayuu in her mouth, Naruto's was darker, lower and had a slight rasp that only contributed to the overall, smoky allure. Hell, give it a slight seductive note, and it was as perfect a 'bedroom' voice as it came!

"What are you- Ah." She looked at her bosom. "That."

The kunoichi nodded, not trusting her voice.

"Naruko has a better eye for the color and shape of kimono than Naruto." Sasuke shrugged.

"Shut up. Not like I know why it happens, dammit. It is like you and chocolate." The blonde grumbled, though when Naruto made it look grumpy, Naruko looked so seductively cute it was just criminal.

"Just remember to do the old style kimono, all right? And don't be stingy on silk." Sasuke demanded, only to be waved away lazily. "Not everyone can do it like you, you know."

"Are you implying something, you little bitch?" Naruto said sweetly.

"Well, I certainly can't compare to you in size." Sasuke smirked. "But it is about quality, no? Ohohohohohoho!"

Letting go of her pride for a moment, Hana allowed herself a tiny whimper. Somehow, some way, she knew it wasn't going to get any better anytime soon.

* * *

The interior of the impromptu workshop was dimly lit, but it was a deliberate action - any chakra bleed off was easier to notice this way, and Sasuke knew that there would be some. It was too much of a rush job not to.

Naruto stood, crafting the bits and pieces of arrays on the cards floating around him, from time to time extending his hand, only to have one of them flow into his hand and be an object of intense scrutiny and some furious brush and knife work, often eating one or two blood seals before being returned to the rest.

The cards looked to be floating, but it was nothing but an illusion. Sasuke knew that if she looked with the sharp wheels of the sharingan, the array of overpowered chakra strings that held it all together would be revealed.

Still, it was an interesting sight. The tiny vibrations - after-effects of Naruto's somewhat poor chakra control coupled with recent forceful overburn of Kyuubi's energy - made it seems like the rectangular pieces of paper floated on their own.

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow looking at a number of items strewn around, on the nearby table and on the floor. Some were fairly ordinary, like a number of fine kunai, senbon and other throwing implements, some swords that she was sure he didn't make due to their rather ordinary quality.

Naruto, as amusing as it was, was a perfectionist when it came to his mundane weaponry - he often said that if it couldn't be shiny enough, then it should be at least badass enough. Which wouldn't be so bad if the blond didn't go overboard - his 'ordinary' swords could withstand cutting boulders without chakra enhancement. Most ninja would love to have that kind of weaponry.

Weapons weren't the only things - there were, oddly enough, rocks - or stone pillars rather - fairly small, but still weighing quite a bit, she'd hazard a guess, a whole roll of rather nice silk, another roll of linen, wood and... a tree?

The Uchiha blinked.

Yes, she wasn't wrong. It was a perfectly fine, young tree with its own bucket of soil.

Before she could ask, Naruto tapped one of the strings attached to his hand, dragging one of the floating cards from the rack and tapping it. A hiss and some smoke later, the card was gone, leaving a large scroll in its place.

Two Kage Bunshin took the scroll, efficiently coiling it around the tree, and in a flash, there was nothing but the scroll, that was soon re-sealed again into a card and returned into the rack.

Sasuke's eyebrow arched even higher as the procedure was repeated, this time with the stones.

"You are using your arsenal for... trees?" She asked incredulously.

"You never know when one might get handy."

"I know, but trees?" The heiress looked at her friend with bemusement.

Naruto nodded, before snapping his finger and flipping something red that appeared in Sasuke's direction.

The neo-girl frowned, looking at the rose. She sniffed it gently.

It was real, and quite nice at that, if not spectacularly large. It was quite a charming little flower, though.

"I have sealed a perfectly nice bush of blooming wild roses that I found on the Kusanagi island as well." The blond grinned.

"Ooh, and partial retrieval." Sasuke sniffed the rose again. "I'm impressed."

"It's shoddy. I didn't have enough time." The jinchuuriki shrugged, dispatching several clones to cover the leftover objects and seal them into their respective cards. "I even had to use the snap seals for that." He peered at his fingers critically for a moment, flexing them. "There goes my ability to do full five-point elemental seals quickly, I guess."

Sasuke let the sharingain flash for a moment, noticing the fresh lacerations on Naruto's thumb and middle fingers, as well as on the index one and winced.

"Nasty. You carved them directly into flesh? Couldn't you have simply altered the storage ones?"

"It was faster this way." The blond shrugged. "Not like I have a whole day and five elemental storage scrolls to attune it, you know."

"It is still nasty." Sasuke muttered. "Barbaric stuff, that."

"But very effective." Naruto swept his hand, breaking the strings, allowing the cards to fall back and form a neat deck, before stabbing his fingers into it, and letting it seal itself fully until it was gone. "Well, at least _this_ works as it should." He murmured, before yelping and grabbing his hand as a flash of pain hit him. "Holly fucking SHIT BUT THAT HURTS!"

"I told you so." The kunoichi sighed, before tapping his spine, momentarily leaving the arm limp and cutting the pain away.

"...shit. Thanks, Sasuke." Naruto winced. "Speed sealing is a bitch."

"Why do you do it anyway?" The heiress huffed. "Usually you spend a week at the least creating any arsenal."

"Yeah, but..." Naruto winced, looking at his smoking palm. He was really going to feel it after the numbness wore out. "We're limited on jutsu right now. If something happens..."

"If something happens, we'll handle it." Sasuke's face was impassive. "Naruto, you are probably one of the greatest sealmasters the world had ever seen, but you can't create something out of nothing. You don't have an access to a proper workshop or lab, just a smidgen of your usual materials, and only a very limited time table. Whatever you create won't help much if we face something that we can't handle with brute force alone. You are not a god and you have limits. Give it a rest."

"Says the guy who absorbs the half-filtered bijuu chakra boost." The blond deadpanned, only to cringe as Sasuke glared at him.

"The difference is, I do it on regular basis and won't _hurt_ myself." She said darkly.

"Okay, okay! Sheesh!" The jinchuuriki rolled his eyes. "I get it. No more dangerous science."

Sasuke's glare turned into the patented 'How stupid do you think I am, dead last?' look.

"Well, much, anyway." The blond corrected himself, before grabbing a matte-black, thin bundle off the table. "Come on. I have something to give to our favorite bitch."

Sasuke's eyebrow quirked.

"Is that a sword?" She asked curiously.

"For us? Yes." Naruto said flippantly, spinning it in his palm. "For our sweet bitch? Depends if I am right or not. It's gonna be interesting no matter which way it goes."

A second eyebrow joined the first. Sasuke knew that tone very well. Too well, actually.

"Should I-"

"I will _not_ blow up the boat!" The blond snapped. "Some faith in me wouldn't hurt, bastard!" Naruto rolled his eyes. "Sheesh, it is not like I blow something up every time I work!"

"Of course you don't." Sasuke nodded. "One needs to also mention the burning, corrosive substances in astounding variety, the chakra array backlash, an attack of giant marshmallows-"

"It was just one time!" Naruto protested. "And it was a honest to gods accident! I didn't know they'll get so big or they'll start to walk out of the lab!"

"-and the ramen golem, that little ice age, that incredibly colorful mushroom episode - where did you get that amount of hallucinogenic mushrooms I have no idea by the way - the tentacle lemon jello..." Sasuke nodded thoughtfully. "Really, I have to give it to you - you don't blow up stuff every time. Oh no. You go for _variety_."

The jinchuuriki glared at his friend darkly.

"Yeah, well. Fuck you too." He muttered.

"Promises, promises."

Naruto's eyebrow twitched.

* * *

Hana was no stranger to things like make up, fashion or the other typically 'feminine' skills. She might have been an Inuzuka, she might have been a war shinobi and as fierce as any of her clan, but she was still a woman and could appreciate the fortune she currently wore, not even counting the absurdly expensive jewelry and various cosmetics.

Which was hard not to appreciate considering she currently wore more money on her than she made in a year. Or would have, if not for the fact she had a sneaking suspicions just where the amazingly sewn kimono, or its several equally exquisite looking cousins, came from. After all, one doesn't simply buy the perfectly tailored clothes off the rack. And these were tailored, down to every detail.

All of her womanly instincts warred with her mind about wearing the simple yet elegant masterpiece on the deck like some common, ten ryo rag. The fact she had several equally fine ones in her bags didn't ease her mind one bit.

Though she had to admit, the one she wore now was a bit odd. While lighter than any full furisode, it was still elaborate, if simpler and with a touch of archaic, almost unseen save for shrines or extremely formal functions among the high courts. It was also fairly sturdy, which she noticed with surprise, despite its seemingly frail look and wide, billowy sleeves.

It was blue, with a faint pattern that seemed almost floral, until one looked at the larger representation on her sash, where the 'flower' quickly proved to be the traditional octagonal representation of the Mirror of Yata.

'Those idiots.' she smiled a little, despite herself. Sure, it almost felt like dress up, considering the fairy tale elements contained within the whole charade, but than who didn't want to play the part in a gallant fairy tale, at least once?

As such bearing the Yata mon - as ridiculous as it sounded - was both an embarrassment and a rush that made her feel like she was six and listening to her mother telling stories during the winter evenings. Embarrassment or no, it did invoke a childish sense of awe and wonder she remembered from then clearly.

Despite herself, Hana couldn't stop a giggle escaping her mouth. No matter how much she'd want to deny it, she could see why the two idiots did what they did. It was a strangely pleasurable rush, to do something as outrageous like that - and they didn't even start yet.

The Inuzuka groaned softly, as she caught the direction here thoughts were heading.

"I'm going to kill those two idiots." She muttered, not quite able to stop the slight grin tugging at her lips.

The young woman shook her head, straightening the sleeve of her kimono yet again, only to freeze.

If her own clothes had a touch of archaic weaved into them, Sasuke's were on the other side of the spectrum completely, archaic with a minor, but fairly scandalous nods towards the modern. Save for the deep violet color and the rather elaborate nature, Hana was sure that it wouldn't raise too many eyebrows in a shrine

Of course, priestesses didn't wear such rich, violet-themed make up, nor expensive earrings, or an even more expensive crescent moon choker from pure silver, with the elaborate obi marked with the very same crescent moon.

Hana was also damn sure that no priestess robes that slid down the shoulders slightly so that present the generous upper part of the cleavage, nor carrying a long, thin pipe, presenting an image that was a three-way cross between a rich noblewoman, an expensive courtesan on a stroll and a shrine maiden with a touch of wild in her.

The combination was both jarring like a stab towards Hana's sense of decency and aesthetics, and incredibly alluring in the 'forbidden fruit' kind of way, that was both dark and tempting.

If Sasuke wanted to convey an aura of sophisticated, yet brazen lust, she had succeeded beyond Hana's wildest imagination, or worst nightmares. She would be surprised if the Uchiha heir (currently heiress) wasn't swamped with invitations and propositions from the rich men the moment they stepped on the shore.

The Uchiha, as if reading Hana's thoughts, turned slowly, letting the speechless Inuzuka see every inch of the expensive attire with a flourish of a tayuu that moonlighted as an actress, snapping her moon-marked fan open with a smirk.

Hana, for her part, just stared with sheer disbelief, her mind refusing to even dare to speculate just how 'loud' this whole spectacle was going to be considering the femme fatale Uchiha nutcase in front of her.

Still, she expected something like this. Somewhat. Sasuke was crazy, of that there was no doubt, and she delighted in the brand of disturbing that left Hana's sanity on rather shaky ground. After that, nothing was going to surprise her.

Or so she thought, until she looked at Naruto and simply froze.

'Oh. My.'

The formerly short blond was now taller than both of them, if not by much. His previously already untamed mane was now a long - very long in fact - mass of spikes that smoothed somewhat towards the back, held in a simple, slightly wild ponytail that manged to look roguish instead of scruffy.

The whisker marks were gone, leaving the smooth, unblemished skin with sharper features of an adult, though sharper and more vulpine than she'd have expected, if still rather captivating coupled with sharp blue eyes tinged with violet.

That wasn't the biggest shock, however. What he wore, and _how_ he wore it...

Contrary to Sasuke, Naruto was bereft of ornaments, but the deep crimson and burgundy of his hakama and gi served to serve the flash in an almost hammer-like manner. The same mix of old and new, but with a lazier, almost relaxed flair of someone who had money and flaunted it but didn't feel like dressing up.

Loud, flashy and noticeable to the extreme - he wouldn't be able to be more in-your-face and at the same time maintaining the air of casual elegance if he tried. It was Sasuke's job, of that Hana was sure - thanks to their shopping trip and time spent on the boat Hana knew how Sasuke's tastes towards clothes ran very well.

The loud haori with a flashy outline of a burning sun on the back was pure Naruto, though, Hana decided. She had seen an almost identical symbol before on the temples of Amaterasu, though this one was different in several ways so as not to mistake the two.

"The breath of the archaic, the kiss of the fairy tale, the bite of modern practicality, the touch of temptation, the pinch of scandal and the aura of money." Sasuke snapped her fan open elegantly. "Perfect."

"Almost." Naruto nodded, tapping the scroll.

"For me?" She cocked an eyebrow, only to blink as a very nice, if simple bamboo umbrella took the place of the sealing scroll.

Sasuke looked at Naruto curiously, picking it up, only to smile as she noticed the strangely shaped handle, which turned out to be a hilt as she twisted it, drawing a straight blade.

"A shikomizue with a floral pattern and held inside an umbrella?" Sasuke laughed. "It is perfect!"

"I saw that little thing it in Konoha, though without the blade." The blond smiled. "Thought you'd like it, and I saw a nice one in the Sunflower. Enjoy."

"I intend to." The Uchiha smirked, sliding the blade back, before drawing it again several times in various directions. "Thanks, dead last."

"And now, for our very own cruelly cold, yet so undeniably sexy Inuzuka Hana..." Naruto grinned, throwing the bewildered woman the black bundle.

"...huh?" Hana caught the bundle, feeling the unmistakable weight and shape of a sword under the cloth. "What's that?" She asked curiously, taking off the covering to uncover a fairly simple, though strangely wide kodachi.

"Oh, just a little something I've... found." Naruto grinned. "The previous owners had no use for it. Indeed if they so much as tried..." The jinchuuriki chuckled darkly. "Well, whatever would happen would have been... interesting, to say the least."

"Hmm. Strange... Looks a little bit like a long kodachi or a short katana but..." Hana drew the blade, only to blink at the identical, matte black color shared with its hilt. It didn't look like paint, too. "Wide... and a little heavy but..."

Her fingers curled around the hilt, the material under her fingers fitting her palm as if tailored. There was no awkwardness she would have expected handling a new, unorthodox and fairly heavy weapon. In fact...

She swung the blade slowly.

It wasn't heavy. It had its weight, but it was just right. Ideal, even.

Hana cut the air, up and down, before lunging forward with a stab and slashing to the side. It was perfect - the balance, the handling, the feeling... No kunai, blade or shuriken she had trained with for her whole life - none of them felt as good, as right as this.

"It is magnificent." She breathed. "What is it?"

"Oh, just a little something I thought you'd like." Naruto said innocently, and Hana paused mid-swing, looking at him suspiciously.

The jinchuuriki smiled sunnily.

Hana cocked an eyebrow.

"Well, I do, thanks." She frowned. "But if it turns out to be another of your little fucked up ideas, I'll make your life hell, you hear me?"

"Oh yeah?" The jinchuuriki grinned cockily. "Bring it on, bitch! Wherever, whenever - I'm always up for spanking your doggy ass nice and red." He waggled his eyebrows. "Who knows, you might like it and ask for more."

The Inuzuka woman blinked, before looking at Sasuke.

"You know, somehow I am not surprised by that answer at all." She sighed.

"You are approaching wisdom, grasshopper." Sasuke nodded sagely.

The older kunoichi snorted.

"Yeah, aren't I the lucky one."

* * *

Hana looked on in fascination as the breeze pushed them closer to their destination.

The city was an odd mix, a little bit like Konoha - with old and new meeting halfway, one overpowering the other at some points that had to be districts, or at least so she thought. The combination was more jarring than Konoha, though, both because the city was much bigger, and because there were additions that looked unlike anything else she had ever seen.

Also, the city was...

"...is it... red?" Hana blinked.

It wasn't 'just' red either - it was rich crimson that she had yet to see used for buildings, and it didn't look like paint, though she could be wrong.

"The Akasango." Sasuke nodded. "The Crimson Coral, the capital of the Coral Country. Yes, it is red. The buildings are built out of the particular type of stone that can be found around here."

"Yeah, but... even the wooden ones are red." The Inuzuka murmured. "And those roofs look like... damn, polished or something?"

"Ah, that? That's because the trees are also red." Naruto laughed. "In fact, Akasango was named because of that, and every building in the 'new' city is red."

The older kunoichi looked at the blond curiously.

"Around fifteen years ago, after the first capital burned almost to the ground - the palace included - in the aftermath of the destabilization in the region 'cause of the Bloodlimit Massacre, the daimyo was so pissed that he lost the palace to fire - yet AGAIN - that he decided to have one built completely out of stone. He was also in love with the daughter of a local pirate lord, and in a crazy idea to show how serious he was, he built the palace using local red granite that was her favorite color. It cost a fortune, but the guy was both fantastically rich, and crazy as all get out about her."

Naruto chuckled.

"Which wouldn't be so damn funny, if said daughter wasn't the one who burned his previous palace in the first place. Still, she must have been impressed, because she actually came by to see it. Some sources say that she actually wanted to burn it down but decided to was far too nice to do so, or that she couldn't because it was a fortress. The end result is the same - the pirate princess married the slightly crazy daimyo."

"Really?" Hana blinked.

"Yes." Sasuke nodded, smirking. "The daimyo's advisors had kittens, as did the father of the 'blushing bride' - who is a very beautiful but very amazonish woman who can wrestle mountain bears, crush rocks with her bare hands and prefers ninja armor and a sword larger than she is tall to the court finery."

Sasuke's smirk widened.

"Considering that the daimyo - aside from the fact he is somewhat crazy - is a slender, gentle man with a heart of a poet and love of arts who disdains violence, you can imagine how funny it must look. His wife is taller than him by good margin, could break him in half with her one arm and her approach to courtroom is to bring out the sword and casually polish it when she finds the discussion not to her liking."

Hana looked at the duo incredulously.

"You're kidding me."

"No. Really." Naruto chuckled. "Shasti is cool that way. A surprisingly good marriage, too. A bit of a flake Shinji can be, but she really loves him. And he, well..." Naruto pointed at the large red structure. "As you can see. He is crazy about her to the point of insanity."

"I'd say." Hana eyed the palace. It was both large and quite nice, though very unorthodox with strangely round, dome-like designs of the roofs. Still, it was fairly pleasant, overall. "Which still doesn't explain why the most of the city is red."

"The nobility was quick to accept the new fad, considering how... unstable the young daimyo seemed. Which prompted the excavation of the red granite, only to discover that a nearby island has a LOT of it. And, well, the 'Crimson Roofs of Akasango' became a part of the local folklore, along with the incredibly romantic love story and..." Sasuke chuckled, pointing at the city. "They needed to rebuild it anyway. The locals are kind very proud of it, really."

"Talk about civic pride." The Inuzuka women shook her head. "Crazy people..."

"Oh you don't know the half of it." Naruto rolled his eyes. "The Akasango, aside from being called the City of Wine, is called the city of fast, loose, and easy."

Hana quirked an eyebrow.

"Fast life, loose rules, easy women." Sasuke smirked. "And all the statements are interchangeable, really."

"Don't be fooled, Hana-chan." The blond leaned on the railing. "This city is where the rich and powerful gather. They come here for the loose laws and for the fast life, they don't want to be obstructed overmuch and are willing to pay for it. This city, while nice, is very chaotic and has a seedy underbelly like you wouldn't believe. If you have money, anything and everything can be bought in Akasango. You can get the rare jewelry or art pieces as easily as you can acquire a horrific poison or a completely conditioned sex slave. Everything has a price here, and anything can be bought if you look hard enough and have enough cash."

Hana's eyes widened.

"And the daimyo permits this?"

"Why do you think he is so rich?" Sasuke quirked an eyebrow.

"...oh." The Inuzuka nodded slowly. "I see."

"That ain't no vacation resort with nice beaches and tropical drinks." Naruto halted, frowning. "Well, it is, but for the guys who play hard and can afford it. Get me?"

"I get you, all right." The older kunoichi nodded. "I'm curious how you know about it, though." Her eyes narrowed slightly.

"The ramen festival, poker and living on the fringe of the society. I'm enough of an outcast to hear all sort of stuff like that." Naruto shrugged, walking to the back of the boat.

"...ouh." Hana winced. "I messed up this one, didn't I?" She muttered to Sasuke.

"Not really." The girl smiled sadly. "But he was right. People usually thought he was a hooligan and good for nothing, the 'demon brat' and thinking badly of him was easy. Considering the part of Konoha he lives in..." Sasuke trailed off. "Well, you need to be friendly with neighbors when you're alone. Even if they are thugs and prostitutes - you play the cards you're dealt."

Hana's eyes widened.

"You're kidding me!" she muttered ."I mean... he was just a kid how can anyone-"

"And who do you think will let the 'demon brat' live in his building?" The neo-girl snorted. "Certainly no 'upstanding' citizen, that's for sure. Oh don't worry." Sasuke added quickly, noticing the rising snarl on Hana's face. "He wasn't abused - no one hit him or anything - the Hokage made clear what would happen if someone so much as dared to move a finger in a wrong manner. But still... it is hard when people... forget."

The Inuzuka woman winced, feeling a bad taste in her mouth at the mere thought.

While she never knew much about Naruto, she had occasionally seen the overactive blond urchin running around - some of Naruto's pranks were simply too big to ignore. Not to mention he brought an injured kitten to the clinic once, when her uncle Tano was still the one running it, if she remembered right.

Still, she never questioned why the adults seem to just... ignore. He was just some kid, no one really important. Even after, when her brother told some stories about Naruto's antics from time to time, she never really paid attention. Just a brat, like many others, right?

"But still... that kind of people..." She muttered. "I mean, how old could he be? Nine?"

"Six." Sasuke said calmly and Hana just froze. "Or almost six."

"And you're telling me he grew up around... around people like that since he was six?!" She hissed, an acidic bile rising in her throat.

"Next to, not around." Sasuke corrected with a shrug. "But yes. It isn't as bad as it seems, and a fairly interesting neighborhood when you come down to it." She chuckled. "Though people get a really weird expression on their faces when he calls the girls from the Kaen by name."

Hana stared at the Uchiha incredulously. She might not be the most worldly Inuzuka, but she knew of Kaen - anybody in Konoha did, as it was one of the best brothels in the red lights district.

"You're shitting me."

"Hana, the only reason that Naruto knows how to take care of plants and cook is because Ritsuko-san lives one floor down and she taught him." Sasuke quirked an eyebrow with amusement. "Where do you think the Oiroke no Jutsu came from? Naruto knew about the 'birds and the bees' since he was eight, and more than most teenagers twice his age did, I'd bet."

The older kunoichi looked at the Uchiha without a word, before sighing.

"You know... that explains so much." She said contemplatively.

"Doesn't it, though?" Sasuke nodded cheerfully.

"That must have been some... colorful education." Hana murmured, wincing slightly.

"Well, let's just say he can make both a beautiful flower arrangement and knows his knots well." Sasuke-chan smiled mysteriously and Hana blinked, looking at her incomprehensibly, before paling as the understanding dawned.

Sasuke-chan... _giggled_ - which only served to make Hana's glare darker.

"I'd call you disturbed, but somehow, I have a feeling you'd only take it as a compliment."

Sasuke just smiled, nodding.

"You're enjoying this far too much, you know." The older kunoichi said accusingly.

"Why yes, I do." The Uchiha heiress blinked innocently, her dark eyes large and so full of darling naivete that it made Hana physically ill. "You mean you don't?"

* * *

Sasuke was a master of genjutsu. While it might seem like nothing really impressive, considering the sharingan had the ability to trap a person in a direct illusion simply by looking at them, it went far deeper. Sasuke, in a fit of pique, boredom, anger and a mix dozen of other reasons mixed with pure curiosity, decided to learn advanced genjutsu without the crutch of the sharingan, and found himself (and occasionally herself) entranced.

Genjutsu was supposed to be the no brainer for an Uchiha - one look from a fully evolved sharingan could cast one over anyone, one look could also break any of them like glass.

Or so most of the Uchiha liked to think. The truth, as Sasuke found, turned out to be a far more embarrassing and bitter pill to to swallow.

The Sharingan could break the genjutsu - true. Go, look, notice the chakra pattern - poof. And then when you are confident in your sharingan-induced arrogance, you suddenly feel that cold kunai picking through your gut because it was just one layers out of many, and the trick's on you.

Sasuke had an epiphany and the idle curiosity turned into a fascination, one that quickly progressed into the realms of epic, if occasionally stormy, romance.

Many curses, battles, mistakes, bouts of impotent fury and countless hours driving herself crazy to be able to drive others crazy, Sasuke was a genjutsu master.

A bored genjutsu master.

Bored Sasuke was a bad thing. Bored, gender-shifting Sasuke with an arsenal of genjutsu Yuuhi Kurenai would happily kill, strip tease or pole dance for was a catastrophe waiting to happen.

For others, that is.

The violet-clad woman let a small grin tug at her lips, as a passing noble man and his entourage, two undercover shinobi included, slowed down as the man tried to be discreet in his interest.

The Uchiha heiress let the smile widen a bit as she let the bamboo umbrella roll a little over her naked shoulder, letting the shade hiding her face disperse that one, critical bit, which made the man almost stop in his tracks as he tried to pretend he wasn't staring and failing miserably.

'And now... for the finishing touch...' She thought, letting her step carry her a tad slower, even as she let the tiniest smidgen of chakra tussle her free-flowing curtain of raven silk. She tugged at one unruly strain, tucking it back in a smooth, elegant motion, turning her head just a little to give the man a fleeting look.

It took all she had to keep from laughing as the richly garbed man simply froze, all decorum and pretense long forgotten as he stared at her as she passed by.

The Uchiha heiress let the smile linger, as she dismissed the lord, not even bothering to remember his face. Just another piece of floating deadwood in rich robes.

'Still, it was amusing,' she admitted with that tiny spark of satisfaction. It was vain, but she really didn't give a damn. As long as it was amusing, it didn't bother her one bit. Not many things did, as a matter of fact. Not anymore, at any rate.

Her eyes lingered at one of the shinobi - a kunoichi, actually - that accompanied the man. A short, lithe woman in a nice, though not spectacular kimono one would expect of attendant of lower rank. Nice, if slightly sharp features, the dark eyes hidden behind the lenses of simple glasses, yet not hidden enough for Sasuke not to notice the faintest glimmer of chilly arrogance coupled with minor... contempt?

'Oh, now this is interesting...' The Uchiha heiress thought, standing by one of the countless shops of the alley, the vendor comically torn between jumping up to her with his usual salesman prattle and intimidation of her looks and the obvious wealth of her garment.

She could feel trace the eyes, still following her, from the corner of her eye, the contempt only growing stronger as the kunoichi observing her eyed the gaudy jewelery on sale, settling on full-on contempt when the woman looked for guards or attendants, finding none.

This was more than just a habit or shinobi training, Sasuke decided. There was a certain poise in the woman observing her, along with an understated elegance that was hard to achieve even for professionals and told much if one knew what to look for. Not to mention, for a simple attendant, her 'simple' kimono was of excellent quality, and her jewelry of very graceful make. Nothing rich, but it was fine. A little _too_ fine, indeed.

'A noblewoman. The jewelry is obviously her own, but sensible yet marking status, and the way she moves... jounin.' She decided. 'The pattern and style of the kimono could be from anywhere but... hmm. Light but solid footing, very graceful movement but not flowing and quite straightforward... ah. Hishigata. An adept of the Diamond Shape, here? My my. Iwa, then. Quite combat-capable from the looks of it, if not terribly subtle. A rookie?' Sasuke let her mind wander as she idly picked up a small, if quite nice looking earing that looked to be out of place among the other pieces on sale. The vendor tried to offer her something else, obviously disappointed until she casually threw a large, golden coin - easily worth half of his stand - on the table.

The Uchiha noted with amusement as the eyes narrowed slightly in clear disdain and silent disapproval, the corners of the kunoichi's mouth tightening almost unnoticeably.

'Dismissing me as a sham, aren't you? Oh you poor thing... this won't do at all.' The heiress thought with amusement, a smile tugging at her lips, which widened when the kunoichi stiffened, almost unnoticeably, her eyes unfocusing that tiny, slightest bit.

It was a little known fact - almost completely so, aside from few high-level shinobi who had chosen to dabble in the technicalities - that the infamous 'killer intent' was actually a very primal, instinctive genjutsu.

A mix of hostility, confidence, an absolute certainty you can, you will and you won't hesitate to slaughter all in sight - cumulated, and with those experienced enough, mixed with the blood of their battles, the cold confidence of a killer and the arrogance of a warrior, coupled with subliminal intimidation, body language and even scent. All of that getting so much more kick when you can radiate your psychic imprint all over the place - your enemies included.

In that way, genjutsu might be thought of to be the first, oldest and most instinctive of all arts. Which was ironic, considering it had been - next to advanced (and in Naruto's opinion _real_) seal arts - thought as the most difficult of them all.

Sasuke, who had observed the effects of Naruto's Kyuubi-enhanced killer intent, had an epiphany. Fear was a primal function, but it wasn't the only one. What if one could use the same principle that was attributed to the 'killer intent' for something... else?

And thus, the dangerously bored Uchiha 'gender identity is optional' Sasuke created something as ruthlessly effective as its predecessor, if far more amusing.

Something called 'lust intent'.

Sasuke turned away from the stall, looking at the earring in her hand for a moment, as if admiring it. Which was a perfect occasion to notice the kunoichi, who was looking at her, face steely but eyes tracing each of Sasuke's moves with fascination.

The violet clad woman smiled with satisfaction, tugging one of her unruly strands back.

The grin only widened as the Iwa kunoichi licked her lips lightly, probably not even noticing her action as her spellbound eyes almost devoured the Uchiha.

"Having fun, my dear lady Yasakani?"

"Always, Kusanagi." She said slightly, smirking as Naruto, accompanied by remarkably relaxed-looking Hana, approached the stall.

"Earrings?" Hana quirked an eyebrow. "Isn't that a slightly too simple for your tastes, Yasakani?"

Sasuke was impressed. While far from the smoothest operators, the Inuzuka woman slid into her role well. Though some coaching, a little bit of sake and the careful massage helped. Pressure points and chakra acupuncture were a wonderful thing - Tsunade was going to get a hug and a big thank you the next time Sasuke met the genius medic. Which she got each time, but oh well - what was the life without its pleasures?

"Oh, sometimes simplicity is what you need. It is all about class in the end, no?" Sasuke smiled, turning her back to Naruto as she handed him the earring. "If you would be so kind...?"

The blond quirked an eyebrow as the brunette slid her curtain of hair away from her neck.

Naruto smiled with amusement, snapping his fan shut and skillfully using it to tug at the silver chain with one end, before sliding it to his palm.

The delicate chain stopped, tugging at Sasuke's throat slightly and the Uchiha let her head move back slightly.

"Do be gentle, hmm?" She murmured with a faint smile.

The jinchuuriki chuckled, unfastening the claps, before sliding the ring on it and closing it.

"I'll let you off the leash..." He murmured, letting the chain slide back slowly. "For now, anyway."

Sasuke chuckled, and Hana decided to be absorbed in the nearby vendor a moment before, thanking the gods for the experience to know when the two freaks were upping the ante, self control to keep the facade and sake for that slight bit of mellow numbness.

And Sasuke, the little deviant pervert, who probably did more than just slid her hands in a disturbingly innocent yet maddeningly arousing fashion down her oiled back this morning - without her calling the perv on it.

If that didn't indicate the gender-confused Uchiha did something, she didn't know what did.

She knew two things, however. One, she was going to burn some incense for the gods in thanks for that, and two - she was sure as hell going to make Sasuke do that again come the next morning.

Because if she knew one thing about those two, things were sure as hell not going to get any better around here.

Sasuke smiled, feeling the chain slid down her silken skin, the cool of the metal a pleasurable touch over the burn and that little excitement welling inside her.

She felt the earing coiled on the chain brush over her skin, throwing one, last look at the now-blushing, wide-eyed Iwa kunoichi.

Oh she had plans for that earring... and that little Iwa sweetheart, though those could wait. After all, the moment of anticipation between reaching and getting for the prize was so pleasantly entertaining. Like a feeling of freefall.

The little kunoichi and her earring could wait until the right moment. Meaning when she felt like it.

Sasuke chuckled.

This was getting better and better. Naruto's idea was excellent, and exactly what they needed. Perhaps her blond friend needed a reward?

She threw him a shrewd look from under the long lashes and the blond eyebrow quirked in response.

Naruto smirked, his whole posture relaxed and slightly mocking.

'Bring it on.' was said without words, not that they were needed, with that infamous, gleeful spark lighting his eyes.

'Oh yes.' Sasuke thought with a smirk. 'Things just keep getting better.'

* * *

TBC...

* * *

Glossary

Azumaya: lit. summer house

Kugi: lit. nail

* * *


	8. Chapter 8

Thanks go to MageOhki, Griever, Nightelf, Vasey, Cornuthaum and Typhonis for the useful comments, as well as to TFF for the general support. You know who you all are.

Edited by Skelthin.

* * *

Reload

Chapter 8

* * *

"Casino Royale"

* * *

The inn was a large, luxurious building, obviously designed for the standards of the upper class. By the quality of the varnish and the graceful, unobtrusive service, it was obviously the upper tier of such establishments. Hana had no doubt that even a daimyo would find it acceptable, what with its own private onsen and every possible commodity on the grounds.

Of course, Naruto and Sasuke being their usual selves didn't find it sufficient.

"A little sparse... but we'll take it." The Uchiha lit her long, expensive pipe lazily.

"Of course, of course honorable guests." The short, elegant woman - the owner - smiled cheerfully. "I would offer the rooms on the eastern side, they have an excellent view on the-"

"I don't think you understood my lady." Naruto sauntered in, waving a garishly loud, orange fan to and fro. "When she said that we'll take it, she meant it all."

The matron blinked.

"...excuse me?" She said after a moment.

"Isn't it obvious, Chigusa-san?" Sasuke exhaled a large cloud of minty smoke. "All of it. All of the inn. We're taking it. You don't expect us to... share, now do you?" She quirked an eyebrow, pronouncing the word 'share' with something between incredulous disdain and dismissive arrogance.

"Ah. Yes. Yasakani-dono, we have guests booked..." The older woman said uncomfortably.

"I don't think you understand the situation, my good woman." Sasuke's voice was like honey. "Kusanagi-sama wishes for no disturbance while he rests."

The owner's composure was admirable, but then she was used to dealing with both rich nobility and their extravagant wishes. The Golden Sparrow, however, was a place for the truly rich and blue blooded, and far from cheap. To commandeer the entire inn...

"Forgive me, Yasakani-dono... but maybe just a floor would be adequate?" She asked carefully. "It is a large place and I assure you only the finest of guests will be here. In fact, the honorable Asahina-dono will be hiring the western wing, and as such I assure you that no rabble will disrupt your rest."

The onyx eyes glimmered as the violet-clad woman turned to the matron slowly, only to halt as the snap of the fan carried through the room.

"Asahina... as in Asahina Kaoru, the matriarch of the Asahina Clan?" The blond asked curiously.

"The very same, my lord." The matron bowed, grateful. While the young lord was a loud and arrogant individual, he was obviously more reasonable than his... companion. Masuno Chigusa, a former oiran and a companion of rich and powerful before the winds of her life somehow provided her with a rich and luxurious resort for the elite - a gift from a grateful patron, actually - was no stranger to powerful commanding and beautiful women, being one herself. But Lady Yasakani was in the top class among those.

'And dangerous, oh yes. So very dangerous.' Chigusa thought privately, her middle aged, yet still flawless, face betraying nothing as she looked at the young man. If Yasakani wasn't a high class kunoichi courtesan belonging to the young lord, Chigusa would eat her obi.

Any other woman might be put off by the treatment, but the ex-oiran was shrewd and knew the game. Indeed, she played it herself, if decades ago. The moment she realized just what she was dealing with, the somewhat rusty skills of the shadowy court power play came back to her as if she never left her profession.

The young lord laughed.

"Very well, Chigusa-san!" He nodded with amusement. "I will take the eastern wing! If the Iron Kaoru herself finds it suitable, far be it for me to dispute her taste!"

"Kusanagi-sama?" The violet-clad woman quirked her eyebrow. "I still find it-"

"Give it a rest, eh?" The young man chuckled lightly. "Who knows, she might be good company, no? I'd hate to be... bored." The orange fan tracked the contour of her face. "Hmm?"

"If anything, I think her company will be amusing." The more conservatively clad of the trio said, standing by the balcony. "Asahina-dono is certainly a colorful enough a figure."

"Ah, Yata-chan... are you insinuating something?" The lord said innocently.

"I don't know, am I?" Yata responded glibly.

"Why, you wound me to the quick." The blond touched his heart theatrically. "You know I only have my eyes for you."

"My good lord is too kind." The brunette's voice was slightly mocking.

"Why yes, I am, aren't I?" The man smiled sunnily and Chigusa had to resist a smile.

For all of his boisterous nature, the young man was certainly a lively and personable fellow.

"Very well, it seems all I can do is to accept my defeat with grace." Yasakani said with a sigh. "Kusanagi-sama... still so easy going."

"Aww, you love me that way, Ya-sa-ka-ni-chan!" He sing-songed, waving his fan.

"As much a curse as it is a blessing." The violet clad woman smirked.

"Why, I am beginning to feel unloved." The blond squinted almost comically. "I need to remedy that!" He grinned, grabbing the Lady of Yata by her obi. "There are hot springs here, no?"

"Indeed, my lord." Chigusa clapped once, summoning a young, graceful maid in a light blue yukata. "Harumi-chan. Please show Kusanagi-sama and his guest to a private spring in this wing."

The maid bowed, smiling to the blond and his companion.

"Please, this way."

"Later, honey. Join us when you get a minute, eh?" The blond waved, before grabbing his other companion, and hefting her over his shoulder.

The woman gave a small yelp.

"In the land of twilight, under the moooooon!" The blond sang. "We're dancing for the idiots!"

"What the- Kusanagi! Put me-!"

The young lord didn't seem to be bothered, instead just grinning and singing a little louder as he walked out, the lady over his shoulder.

"...ring around the roses, jump to the moon, we sing with the castanets!"

Chigusa blinked.

"My. He is certainly a spirited fellow." She murmured.

"You have no idea." Sasuke-chan smirked, before turning to the innkeeper. "Let us finish the formalities then, hmm?"

"Indeed." The matron nodded. "The wing is spacious, and I assure you that the Golden Sparrow has the highest possible standards." She smiled faintly. "And I assure you, my lady, that any concerns you might have about the... privacy are unfounded. Our service is both discreet and very... thorough."

Sasuke's eyebrow rose up slightly.

"You are presuming much." She said softly.

"Forgive my lack of manners, my lady." The older woman smiled serenely. "But I thought to clear the air between us, so to speak. Under my roof there are no shadows past those of my home, and those are warm and welcoming for my guests." The tone didn't seem to change, but the quality seemed... smoother. Flowing and silky, if warm.

"Ah." Sasuke nodded, her eyes widening slightly and Chigusa felt like smiling.

Some things one did not forget and despite the tense situation some part of her rejoiced at the soft game of hints and shades of truth.

"There is nothing strange that you believe so. I, however, have my doubts." The younger kunoichi waved her fan gracefully. "Kusanagi-sama can be very enthusiastic."

"A privilege of youth and I shall endeavor to cater to it with all the grace we can muster." The former oiran said pleasantly.

"Oh, will you?" An inky eyebrow rose. "He is a man of vigor and zest for life."

"Undoubtedly. Our service will endeavor to satisfy both as much as this humble abode is able, then." She said with the same serene look in her eyes, the tiniest of grins tugging at her lips.

It was so... refreshing. Yes, that was the word. Refreshing. Usually the security detail was so... boorish, leaving Chigusa nostalgic for the days where the daimyo were men of cunning and manners, with their guards reflecting that. Nowadays she got those undeniably efficient but almost painfully straightforward men and women with their demands, nosy disruptions and appallingly mercenary sensibilities.

It was so refreshing to see a kunoichi of class and refinement who knew what her duties were.

"I expect nothing but the best, then, and leave it all in your hands." Lady Yasakani gave the former oiran the tiniest of bows. "I shall trust you in this."

"I swear your trust is well placed, milady." Chigusa bowed back. "You shall not be disappointed, and I believe the young lord will not be either." She smiled. "Should my maids prepare the futons? The journey must have been troublesome without the attendants to assure his comforts."

"Not yet." Sasuke smiled, snapping her fan open. "But I believe some refreshments would be in order for the evenings. Maybe some music, some entertainment?"

Chigusa let a small smile appear on her face as she bowed.

It was so nice to be on the familiar ground again. She hoped the young lord planned to stay for some time and sample the Golden Sparrow's hospitality.

Interesting guests were so rare these days.

* * *

Understated luxury and elegance were the words that came to mind when thinking of the Golden Sparrow.

At first Hana didn't understand why this inn which - despite its almost absurdly large size - looked to be more modest than some of its louder neighbors was so incredibly expensive.

It took a while, a tour of the premises and a private hotspring to make Hana realize that Golden Sparrow wasn't an inn to rent - it was an experience to be lived through.

The understated elegance showed in the quality of the varnish and artful, yet modest finish of even the least important details of the furniture. Simplicity and modesty, but one in the most sublime taste that was expensive to emulate and worth a small fortune to posses.

The luxury in the graceful, smooth-faced maids moving like elegant shadows that made one doubt they were there, yet smiling and providing any assistance one required or wanted. Sometimes before Hana even realized she wanted it. It was almost... creepy, at first, to find a serene, softly smiling woman in the Golden Sparrow yukata waiting with a spread of snacks and sake as well as bath implements.

At first it weirded her out - she had never had anyone assisting her in bathing since she was six, but the women were really good. Discreet, soft spoken and so graceful that she stopped minding the attention and skilled hands.

As such, when she flowed - for there was no better word to describe the gait after the skilled hands of a masseuse and delicate ministration of the bath girls brought comfort to her muscles and seeped the warmth into her bones - into the hot spring area, she was both relaxed and mellow.

Coupled with warm sake and Sasuke's ministrations before, the fact that her blond companion was quite naked didn't phase her. The concern when the two servants gently shed the soft bathrobe from her shoulders as she sat nearby was just a momentary stab that had a hard time to get through the mellow haze.

Besides, how was she supposed to freak out if it would send their cover crashing down faster than Wave's economy?

Fortified by the alcohol, hazy scent of incense and the massage, Hana slid into the hotspring next to the blond, the warmth of the water and slightly chilly touch of the stones providing a deliciously clashing experience.

She shivered lightly, the body slowly getting used to the rapid changes in temperature.

Naruto, who was sipping some sake, back propped on the warm rock, his naked silhouette halfway in the water and uncaring of the discrete stares of the maids or Hana's momentary shock, observed his companion with amusement as the maids retreated, leaving them alone.

"Well, well, well... and who is the pervert now?" He said with a chuckle, eying her breasts.

"It is just the cold." The Inuzuka said lazily. She'd deck the little bastard, but they had a cover to maintain - she was _damned_ if she let anybody know what she was doing here. Besides, she felt too good to argue.

"Actually, I was referring to the fact you got naked without a fuss, but if you say so." The blond's grin widened.

Hana froze, simply staring at the blond with a look between incredulous shock and mortified realization.

Naruto chuckled, before gently pushing a saucer of alcohol into her hand.

The Inuzuka automatically raised it, swallowing the contents, the strangely honeyed taste sliding down her tongue. A moment later, her eyes widened almost comically, as the honeyed, silky warmth exploded into a raging but pleasurable inferno in her throat. Coupled with heat of the water and chill of the rocks, the experience was just too much. The kunoichi let the air out with a hiss out, sliding into the water, her body shivering slightly, a flush over her face.

"...hoooo..." The young woman exhaled, feeling a slight vestige of the oddly pleasant vertigo. "That was... _intense_."

"The Amber Ice, Yata-chan." Naruto grinned. "The spirit of wine, the liquid essence of bliss." His grin widened slightly, eyebrows waggling. "One of them, anyway."

Han didn't bother checking - she knew full well where he was looking given the level his eyes were on.

She snorted softly before taking a careful, small sip of the alcohol again, this time ready for the burning sensation and the silky smooth delivery.

"What, no snappy come back? No 'die pervert!'?" The blond quirked an eyebrow.

"What for?" Hana shrugged. "You're ready for it and you do it for kicks anyway."

"Bingo!" Naruto smiled cheerfully. "You're learning my gorgeous chickadee!"

"Feh." The young woman squirmed for a moment, letting her whole body straighten and lean back again, this time far more comfortably, though far from anything considered proper. But then, she was naked in front of a thirteen year old horndog who proved he wasn't talk and was friends (and what that 'friends' entailed she really didn't want to think about) with a shape shifting freak of nature who didn't seem to regard gender as definite or even important. Not to mention the current... situation.

It was as far from 'proper' as it fucking got. If she cared about it, she'd be a nervous wreck. And alcohol helped, anyway.

"This chickadee has sharp teeth and even sharper claws, my dear 'lord'."

"Why, you're saying that word so mockingly." Naruto tsked.

Hana raised an eyebrow, looking at the walls while Naruto just waved his fingers in a one-handed tiger seal.

"Don't worry. We're safe. Our voices can't be heard beyond some artificially created white noise."

The Inuzuka blinked.

"How?" She asked curiously.

"The sound is vibration and my affinity is Fuuton, Yata-chan." Naruto shrugged. "Unless I wish it, you can't hear me."

"So _that_ is how you amplified your voice." Hana muttered, frowning. "Useful."

"You have no idea." Naruto grinned, remembering a certain conference and a very horny Namida Suzume who decided she didn't get any for far too long.

It was unbelievable how much of a wild cat that woman was - he disregarded her for tens of resets, until that day and that accidental meeting. It was then that he understood _why_ Suzume was the teacher of kunoichi, and why she was usually so prone to scowling at the girls during the lessons.

He knew damn well she did - Orioke no jutsu was good like that, and he was a very curious guy. Curious enough to attend kunoichi lessons, where the added bonus was the anonymity and immunity from the cold stare and dismissive attitude of most teachers.

While those glasses and rigid posture made Suzume look like a stern librarian, the moment she saw fit to smile... good gods but that woman could be hot. Just a brush of make up, and a smile, a kimono and that flowing grace... There was a reason why Sasuke admired Suzume to the point of near-worship. Iruka had _no_ idea what he was missing, and Suzume liked him. Given half a chance...

But then, Iruka was blind and deaf as far as women were concerned. Not gay or, like Kakashi, having issues with human contact - just dense.

Still, making love to Suzume over the almost paper-thin roof of the jounin-infested intelligence dispatch building was an experience. THE experience, as far as he was concerned.

"No idea at all." He smiled at his thoughts.

"So it seems." Her face was unreadable as she sipped the Amber Ice. 'And I wonder if anyone does.' She added to herself, before shaking her head. "What are we doing here anyway?"

"Drinking good alcohol, resting in luxury with no strings attached and admiring the view." He smiled, eying Hana's form with shameless appreciation.

Despite herself, Hana blushed a little. Covert glances from the overly horny teenager or two she was used to - she was attractive and her choice of attire did garner her a look or two. This, however, was something else.

"Could you stop that?" She murmured.

"Why?" He smiled, shrugging. "You're a very attractive woman. I like looking at you."

"I know you are a bundle of fucking hormones and all, but this is serious, dammit. I want to know."

"Bundle of 'fucking hormones'?" Naruto looked at her oddly, before throwing his head back and laughing loudly.

Hana frowned.

She knew embarrassing the little horndog was almost impossible but she hoped he'd at least get his kicks and leave it or tone it down, like he did before. On the other hand, there was no Sasuke to trade banter with, so maybe that was the case?

"And what's so damn funny, you horny brat?!"

"'F-f-fucking... ho-h-hormones...!" Naruto guffawed, choking out, before losing it again. "Oh... oh my FUCKIN' lovely lady Benten! That's... that's GOLD!" He kept on laughing.

The kunoichi blinked.

"...I honestly don't get it." She said with puzzlement.

"Heh." Naruto wiped the tear from the corner of his eye and shook his head, still chuckling. "No. I don't imagine someone like you would."

Hana frowned.

"I am not stupid you know." She said with irritation. "Just explain it to me."

"You really want to know?" He quirked an eyebrow, and the dog mistress nodded. "Fine by me." He refilled his and Hana's saucer. "I am a jinchuuriki. Sasuke told you that, right?"

Hana nodded with confusion.

"What has that to do with-"

"Patience, patience." Naruto raised his hand. "What I am about to tell you is an S-class secret known to exactly five people in the world, including Hokage and me. You can't talk about it to ANYONE. Not your pals, not your brother - not even your mother. Get me? NO ONE."

Hana sobered, nodding slowly.

"Okay." Naruto nodded, leaning back. "One thing you need to know - chakra system of a kid and chakra system of an adult differ. Not much - usually it is the sophistication, the volume of chakra and size, but they do differ. The most changes happen during the puberty."

"I know that." Hana frowned. "I am a veterinarian - our dogs go through something similar as they grow."

"Ah. So you know about the age/size/channeling volume correlation?" He asked.

Hana nodded. It was pretty basic shinobi anatomy, really. Any medic worth his salt knew it. Children usually had less chakra because, like everything, their chakra system was growing, adapting and maturing. Which was why adults had far better chakra control than pre-pubescent kids ever did.

"Good. That simplifies things." He scratched his head. "The deal is pretty simple, really - because the furball is in me, the seal allows our chakras to mingle a little. I get some benefits out of it, like the constitution, healing and flat out inhuman stamina."

"Well... at least you get something out of it." Hana murmured thoughtfully. "The price tag sucks, but it has some benefits."

"No, no, no." Naruto tssked. "You ain't listening. Benefits are nice and fine, but what happens when that bestial, mingling and verrrry inhumanly potent chakra meets puberty?" The blond took a sip of his sake. "Puberty pushed because the body matures as fast as it possibly can to handle the amount of power it gets from the constant workout Kyuubi's toxic energy provides it."

Hana's eyes widened, and the young woman blanched slowly as the realization dawned.

"...oh fuck me." She whispered finally, white as chalk.

"Yes. Exactly." Naruto said calmly. "And those two maids too."

She stared at him, dumbfounded.

"Inhuman stamina, remember?" Naruto smirked.

"Oh."

"As for what we're doing, it's easy." The blond smiled.

"We," a hot breath licked her ear, "are creating a legend."

Hana's eyes widened almost comically, saucer falling from her numb fingers only to be deftly caught by Naruto. The Inuzuka women whirled with panic to see Sasuke, naked as the day she was born (the irony didn't escape her, really), gracefully sliding into the water by Naruto's side.

"Oooh. Nice." Naruto's eyebrows rose as he peered at the naked woman. "Very nice indeed."

"I thought you'd say that." Sasuke-chan smiled, sliding next to Hana, causing the Inuzuka heiress to freeze.

"...wow." She murmured, eying the artful design on the phoenix she was _sure_ wasn't there before this day. "Is it a tattoo?"

"A genjutsu/ninjutsu hybrid." Sasuke sighed. "It breaks on kai, though." She looked at Naruto.

"I might." The blond shrugged. "If you want to."

"I'll see about that. For now I prefer it more... natural." She smirked and the violet phoenix stretched its wings, the design enveloping Sasuke's firm breasts before sliding upwards, as if taking flight, and vanishing.

"Now that is just a spectacular waste of chakra if I ever saw one." Hana snorted. "It is cool, though."

Sasuke just smiled, in that serene-creepy way.

"I knew you were a good choice." The Uchiha heiress murmured, that 'off' smile going strong. "Oh yes."

"Whatever." Hana said, looking at the neo-girl oddly. "What is that 'legend' stuff about, though?"

"I told you, didn't I?" Sasuke accepted a saucer from Naruto. "Silk and satin sheets, champagne and sex, money and seduction - all connected, all loud and flashy and beyond decency. Sensual and shocking. For all of that, we need a Legend. Not just a cover story - but we need to them to see, to crave, to _believe_." The onyx eyes flashed, and for a moment, Hana had an instinctive desire to run. To stand up, board the first boat _out_ of here and leave those two deviants behind but...

She swallowed.

But it was... exciting. Like a fairy tale. Like a...

'...legend.' Hana's eyes widened.

"Aaah. See it, you do!" Naruto smiled triumphantly. "Yeah. That's more like it, Yata-chan."

"So... that is why..." She said slowly. "Even in private..."

"Yes." Sasuke nodded, leaning to Hana. "You don't get to act - you have to _live_ it or it will be shallow. Feel it. From _here_." She tapped her chest gently. "Craft it, feel Yata and her emotion, let her become more than just an illusion one could break. Allow her to laugh at a joke, cry when she is hurt and feel desire when she is tempted. Let her breathe. Let her _live_." Sasuke's hand traced the contour of her face. "Smile, Yata-chan. For this is your 'happy birthday'."

"...you... you are... insane..." Hana murmured, feeling oddly faint and weak, water and alcohol only amplifying the gentle trace of fire left by Sasuke's warm hand.

"You say it like it is a bad thing." Sasuke chuckled, a low, throaty sound. "Come with us, Yata-chan. Let us show you the sky and all the stars." The crimson of the sharingan flashed briefly. "They are only beautiful at night, you see."

"...what... are you... genjutsu...?" The Inuzuka heiress said weakly.

"No." Sasuke laughed. "There is nothing here that isn't yours already."

"It is a fairy tale, eh?" Naruto who was, to Hana's astonishment, _still_ by her - meaning she really didn't move, even if it felt like she did - smirked. "Cover stories are so boring. If you have the story, why not use it? Let it go, and enjoy the ride. Drink and be merry, chikadee."

"For tomorrow is tomorrow, and we will know not when the day shall die." Sasuke chuckled. "Breathe it all in, enjoy life. We won't judge you. All we ask is for you to join us. Let us..." The featherlight touch slid over Hana's face. "If you don't want to, we won't make you. But is it so bad to live a legend? To grasp it with both hands, even if for a few nights?" The Uchiha heiress lips could have or could have not traced Hana's jaw - she wasn't sure given the dizzy spin on her senses and the state her mind was in.

The hot breath on her ear might have been one as well - she wasn't certain.

It shook her to the core, though. The clashing heat of the hotspring, the scent of alcohol and jasmine incense and Sasuke's perfume - sweet and spicy, so strong now that she could _taste_ it on her tongue...

She couldn't think clearly like that.

And, to her astonishment, she didn't know if she wanted to.

"Smoke and mirrors, Yata-chan." Sasuke chuckled. "How about it, this little fairy tale of ours?"

Hana licked her lips. It was then that she realized they weren't dry - they couldn't be with the steam rising as it did, obscuring her already hazy vision, and the taste of the scent on her tongue, sweet and stark, spicy and misty - Sasuke to the extreme.

The Uchiha heiress smiled, sliding back almost bonelessly - like a snake, the dark mane trailing like silk over Hana's skin. It felt almost... painful to allow it to go. Her cheek felt so cold without that breath and silky smooth fire warming it as well...

The older Kunoichi swallowed, before closing her eyes and rubbing the bridge of her nose.

She was an Inuzuka. While many thought their clan feral (and not without a reason) they were far more honest with their emotions than most. Far more in touch with the wilder, more primal aspect of themselves as well.

'...well shit.'

Hana sighed, before blinking as she opened her eyes, slowly looking off to the side.

"I really hope that this is a piece of rock poking me." She said sweetly.

"Well, it is certainly as hard as one." Naruto smiled cheerfully.

Carefully, preferring not to check, Hana slid away that tiny bit.

Stopping right as she touched Sasuke's rather shapely breast.

The Uchiha quirked an eyebrow.

The Inuzuka heiress pinched the bridge of her nose.

"...I fucking can't win, can I?"

Sasuke-chan smiled serenely, patting the confused kunoichi on the back.

"There, there. Here, have a drink. It always makes things easier for people."

"Yeah. I just bet it loosens them up." Hana snarked.

"Well, it is one way out of the tight spots." Naruto grinned.

"Yes, sometimes you are just between the tight and the hard place." Sasuke nodded.

Hana just groaned.

* * *

"So." Kisame leaned on the wall, the black cloak folded over his shoulder because of the heat.

"There is no mistake." Itachi closed his eyes, feeling the mental drain ebbing away slowly. It was a cruel joke, that sharingan of his. The moment he achieved Mangekyo he knew it would slowly destroy his sight but he thought it would only happen when the Mangekyo was used. He was delighted to see his sharingan, as a whole, improved. The illusions especially - before, it was just a simplistic bit of genjutsu, but now it was a whole another realm of possibility.

The possibility he paid for daily, and would until he was blind.

"You didn't need to use that on the guy, you know?" The Kiri nukenin kicked the whimpering, shaking man for emphasis. "He's just a piece of shit, Itachi."

"But he was terrified." The Uchiha said calmly. "It is better that way."

"You're in a real hurry, huh?" The shark-faced man sighed. "You keep on pushin' yourself like that and you'll lose it all, ya know?"

Itachi said nothing, instead just reaching for his pocky supply.

"Yeah, yeah. We're doing it your way, as you wish." Kisame shrugged. "You're the boss, after all. Though I don't get your fascination with that broad. Even if she escaped that purge of yours... what's the point?"

"Madara... is too old." Itachi leaned back, closing his eyes. "He kept an eye on all Uchiha. And yet... of her he knew nothing."

Kisame frowned, tapping the hilt of Samehada idly.

"A renegade?"

"More." The sharingan master bit into another pocky stick almost viciously. "That thing this man saw... there is no mistaking it. It was the sharingan. He was terrified of it."

"Well, sharingan or not, I don't know." Kisame shrugged. "But Samehada went a little crazy here. So... whoever that 'demon guy' was, he was the real deal." The Kiri nukenin looked at his companion. "Though all bijuu are accounted for, right?"

"We shall see." Itachi's monotone didn't change, but there was a brief hitch that Kisame learned to recognize over the years of their partnership.

"Heh, seems like you're actually excited, Itachi." The shark man chuckled. "I don't blame you. It might be fun."

The Uchiha renegade remained silent.

"Though I have to admit, whoever it was..." Kisame kicked a nearby, blackened stone. "They had a helluva lot of power. The walls still all but vibrate with that shit." He tapped the wall, or rather the remains of one he was leaning on. "Well, whatever's left of it, anyway. Shame. I've been here back in the day. They had a really nice castle."

Itachi peered over the ruin, his sharingan spinning lazily, burning every bit of the burned out husk of the Sunflower castle into memory.

"Really?" He said with a faint smile. "I think it looks better now."

Kisame looked at his companion oddly, before shaking his head.

Itachi was weird like that some days, but also interesting. To be honest, it was the main reason Kisame, a fresh nukenin, agreed to take the job given to him by a creepy, monotone-speaking kid with a thousand yard stare, way back then. Besides, how many times in his life did he have a chance to go against an organization older than his village and filled to the brim with S-class maniacs like himself? And getting paid a downright absurd amount of money for it as well?

"Why is that undead gramps of yours so set on finding her?"

"Ally. Obstacle. Both. Neither." Itachi shrugged faintly. "She is a wrench in his plan either way."

"Oh yeah, that grand, mysterious and fairly stupid plan." Kisame rolled his eyes. "You know, for an over a century old undead fuck he's more or less a moron."

Itachi smiled faintly, saying nothing.

"So, any idea where they went?"

"Coral." Itachi stood up. "That man certainly seemed to think so."

"Coral... man, that's far, but given the time they are already there." Kisame frowned, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "We might miss them even if we hurry."

"We won't." Itachi turned on his heel, walking away, Kisame following. "It is all taken care of."

The shaking man opened his mouth to scream, only to stiffen, blood pouring from his lips and ears, before convulsing and becoming still for the last time.

The two cloaked men melted into the night seamlessly, vanishing.

* * *

The smoke coiled like a living being, not quite separate, but also not entirely one with the heavy atmosphere.

It was a dive - or at least it seemed like that at first glance. Solid wooden tables, too heavy to lift (by civilians anyway), sparse lighting save for the few tables, patrons who didn't take kindly to sitting by them - or even near them.

Hana knew those well by now considering last three days had been spent cruising a variety of dens like this, some better, some worse - some actually decent as far as she was concerned.

"Fifty."

"Fifty. Ten."

"I hear that, and raise you bastards double that."

"The same."

There were no chips here, like in one of those posh casinos they hit the first day. When Naruto told her he wanted private games for hard cash, she envisioned doing a round or two of the casinos, and then buying in, or being invited into some posh, high-brow game.

Instead the blond and the Uchiha made a whole show out of several rather spectacular wins, culminating with almost being thrown out of one of the most expensive resorts holding the casino frequented by people who probably saw more money in a day than she made in a year. Then they toned down the clothes, grabbed the pipes and the cash Naruto won and hit the downtown.

'Hit would be appropriate.' Hana winced internally, remembering the first dive they visited. The patrons were quiet, hard-eyed men and women who didn't take too kindly to a spoiled brat hitting them for hard cash, and decided to hit back. The bodies left in the gutter just beside the tavern were alive. Or so she hoped.

Sasuke made quite a show of breaking every bone in any limb that so much as moved in their direction wrong, Naruto giggled, ostensibly drunk out of his mind, and Hana tried not to bat an eye at the excessive and quite gleeful brutality.

She was a shinobi, yes - but she was a professional. Violence didn't disturb her, but the giggly glee Sasuke displayed doing it most certainly did. Mostly because she had no idea how much of it was faked and how much was Sasuke. She still didn't. It was even harder now after all that, in fact.

Naruto could play the loud, devil-may-care noble looking for thrills well - truthfully, Hana didn't know if he needed to play that up at all considering his attitude. Sasuke, on the other hand, worried her. Given the disturbing but undeniably proud attitude the Uchiha displayed could she be actually counted on to reign her arrogance in?

Hana leaned back, hiding a small smile behind the saucer of sake as she saw Sasuke's hand sliding down Naruto's back as she leaned, playing with the strands of golden hair.

There was no worry of that now. The freak was like some goddamn chameleon, at the same time blending into the background consisting of those women in a tad too loud make up and cheap, garish dresses showing far too much skin, while standing out just enough to act as an excellent smoke screen, drawing the stares and provoking the idiots into proving they were 'man enough'.

The Inuzuka restrained herself from smoothing out the dress she had to bring the skimpy cloth a little lower, to no avail. The slit on the thigh made it flat out impossible. Hell, the daring dress was bad enough without taking its tightness into account. She shifted a little, only to pause as she noticed several men in nearby tables following her chest with obvious interest.

'...I'll kill those perverts.'

She honestly didn't know if she was thinking about the freak duo, or about the trash filling the bar.

"One hundred and fifty." Naruto's voice was bored, as he casually slugged another wad of cash down.

"The same and another hundred for a good measure." The man in front of the jinchuuriki smiled, leaning back and putting out the cigar he had been smoking, only to calmly draw another.

Hana grimaced. The odd, bluish smoke was almost choking her - while it was far unpleasant, having a strangely spicy, almost herbal scent - it was incredibly strong and played havoc with her sense of smell something fierce. And the slim blond didn't seem to stop smoking them, one after another, seemingly endlessly.

A dusky hand sneaked around the blond's neck, a woman in a tight cheongsam sliding slightly up from her usual lazy position on the blond gambler, her fingers touching the tip of the cigar, which lit up in the dinky room.

The blond, his off-gray, high-collared jacket open, displaying something silvery under it, smiled, taking a long drag with obvious relish.

"A hot woman, gentlemen. What can I say?" He said, voice smooth, with that odd, 'washed out' accent that could be Fire Country or Snow, for all she knew. Precise and measured but impossible to get a fix on. Though it was nice, she decided, very smooth and pleasant.

The dusky skinned beauty chuckled, her golden eyes almost glowing in the dim light.

"You're playing with fire." She purred, leaning back just enough to grind her body into his slowly.

"That's the only way to play." The sandy blond said pleasantly, straightening his cards. "If I didn't want to ride the lightning, I'd never have picked you."

The golden eyed woman chuckled, biting the blond's ear gently.

Hana blinked at the tiny droplet of blood that vanished as fast as it appeared thanks to the violet haired woman's dexterous tongue.

The blond was unphased, only quirking an eyebrow.

"Play nice, Setsuna." He said softly. "Gentlemen?"

The two other gamblers looked at the table, before the younger of them - a tall, gangly man in is late twenties - slammed the cards down.

"What's the fucking point?" He muttered bitterly. "It's gonna be the same either way with you bastards." He showed himself out of the table. "I'm out."

The older man, whose creased face saw at least sixty years - and Hana would bet most of them spent in combat considering how he carried himself - puffed on his pipe thoughtfully before sighing.

"While I don't feel as... strongly as our young friend there did, I must admit it is getting slightly too costly for me." He folded the cards neatly, before putting them on the table calmly. "Also... however angry, the young man does have a point." The old ninja sighed, standing up with a warrior's grace, despite his obvious age. "You have to excuse this old man, but I don't want to be the latest in a long line of dirt-poor losers crumbling while our two youthful pillars keep on standing. Farewell, gentlemen." He bowed to the table before grabbing a cane and walking away among the mutters.

Hana hid her wince by rising her saucer and taking a tiny sip.

The old man hit it dead on. The 'game' - if it could be called that - started early, mostly as a distraction after their 'visit' to one of the seedier, yak-ran casinos by the docks. Naruto's purse was overflowing, Sasuke was complaining about blood under her nails and Hana tried to restrain an urge to grab a bottle and forget the fact they left the establishment short two dealers(who were crooked) and the manager shorter his head, after Sasuke - gods knowing how - brought the fact the man was rigging all games to the local oyabun.

Which she apparently managed to find in ten minutes, complete with getting a personal audience. Hana preferred not to think about 'whys' and 'hows' - 'hows' especially.

Still, if there was one good thing coming out of the whole mess (aside from a nice pot taken by Naruto regardless of the rigged game - the perv was _good_, damn him) it was the fact no one so much as dared to question their presence downtown anymore.

Once again it was proven that the rumor was the fastest thing on earth, bar none. Especially if it was less of a rumor, and more like a warning from a very pissed off yakuza godfather.

The 'thank you' banquet - even if an unofficial one - was a long, drawn out affair showing off a level of hospitality a daimyo would envy. Hana pretended not to see the way Sasuke, shameless as always, had the old oyabun eating out of the palm of her hand. If they stayed there a wee bit longer the old man would probably adopt her straight out, he was so charmed.

'Though the fact Naruto gave him 'tips' on running gambling business might have something do do with it all.' Hana thought feeling the impending headache.

Still, the little 'distraction' grew into a serious game quite unexpectedly. Naruto, as per his modus operandi, cleaned out the local sharks in thirty minutes flat. But then the irresistible force, it seemed, met the unmovable object.

Said unmovable object sat now calmly by the table, smoking the strange, blue-smoked cigars and proving he not only had very deep pockets, managing to meet and raise every bid Naruto felt like making, but also the disturbing ability to meet the blond half-way.

It was unreal to be honest. Neither had won so far - not decisively anyway. One hand went that way, the other another - the very moment they decided to go deep and bid more, it always ended half-way. Sometimes Naruto won, sometimes the other blond did, but after Hana did some careful counting she realized that the overall balance was completely, ideally zero.

After over five hours of play.

Not to mention, the long hours made sure Sasuke was bored.

Then the violet haired kunoichi saw fit to lean on her blond companion, massaging his shoulders lazily.

Sasuke, to Hana's horror, found a new source of amusement.

Worse. Sasuke - the goddamn deviant - saw a challenge.

It took all Hana had not to whimper as Sasuke-chan licked her lips, leaning onto Naruto.

Only that dress - that _damnable_ dress - had a decency to slide a bit. A _bit_ but enough. Considering the neo-girl didn't wear a bra...

And then the dusky skinned woman's eyebrows rose up, eyes glinting with mirth.

That was three hours ago.

Since then Hana grew basically desensitized. Because between the secretive smiles, tiny rubs, licks, disheveled dresses and shared suggestive comments, sex would be a formality given the amount of raw lust and innuendo floating around that table. Not to mention the pheromones her nose could smell just fine, given the sheer amount of it all in the air.

She was frankly impressed that neither of them decided to fuck it all and go straight into screwing their partners senseless, given what the two women in question were doing.

The Inuzuka heiress fervently thanked every god, demon and spirit in existence for Sasuke's freaky sense of pride - otherwise that deviant just might drag her into it as well. Which was - to her utter embarrassment - both fucking scary and damn exhilarating to think about at the same time.

Considering some of the crowd watching by thinned, the provocatively dressed women and patrons vanishing in the rooms upstairs as the atmosphere thickened, she wasn't the only one feeling it.

Hana shivered slightly, trying to look like she didn't. There was a faint, yet lingering... essence. Something that made the warm molasses of pleasure envelop her senses, spilling that lazy, sensual rhythm down to her bones.

She had no idea if it was the fact she didn't get any for months, or the fact the deviant didn't know the word 'restraint' if it tied her-

Hana blinked, before groaning at the train of thought.

'I hate them. So. fucking. hate. them.'

"Call."

"This is going nowhere, ain't it?" Naruto said thoughtfully putting down the two pairs.

"Considering we went through everything starting with poker and ending at it again, I'm inclined to agree." The sandy-haired man smiled faintly, showing his slightly lower two pairs. "We're on zero balance once again, by the way."

The jinchuuriki quirked an eyebrow.

"Damn, but you're counting fast." He said with a chuckle.

"Counting money is something of a specialty of mine." The taller blond smirked, while the woman on his lap guffawed, before breaking into a laughter. "What?" He blinked innocently. "It's true."

The violet haired kunoichi just shook her head, chuckling and whispering something into the man's ear.

"...oh... really?" The white-clad man said with obvious interest. "That's... some specialty."

"I know." The dusky skinned kunoichi smirked.

"You really don't need to tell me." Naruto said calmly, putting out his own cigar.

"Well, considering you already know it, that's kind of obvious." Sasuke-chan said matter-of-factly.

Naruto blinked, while Hana just pinched the bridge of her nose.

"So... given we are five hours on it already..." Naruto rubbed his chin. "Fifty-fifty?"

"That would be the most obvious solution, yeah." The other man nodded. "Besides, even if we wanted to continue," he winced slightly as the woman on his lap bit him.

"Now that's some sharp thinking." Naruto said with a smirk.

"Pointy arguments, my friend." The other blond rolled his eyes.

"Seesh!" The violet haired woman snorted. "Man, you two are lame."

"Considering you married me, who's lamer?" The sandy blond grinned at her.

"That was pity, idiot." The kunoichi poked the white-clad gambler's chest. "Get it straight."

"Yes, yes, o great Setsuna-sama." The man chuckled. "I shall endeavor to remember."

"Of course you will." The dusky skinned woman said sagely. "This body is unforgettable, hmm?"

Hana blinked owlishly.

'Somehow... this seems... familiar.' She thought, eyes wide.

"You're good." Naruto shook the sandy-blond man's hand. "Been a while since anyone gave me a decent challenge."

"Likewise." The other man chuckled. "I don't remember losing so many times in one game in my life. I have to admit, while I wouldn't want to repeat it, it was... interesting."

"Yeah, reminder you too are mortal and all." Naruto nodded with a smirk.

"Something like that, yes." The white-clad man said with an odd smile.

The two women, in turn, shared a look, rising their respective eyebrows, before sharing a decidedly wicked smirk and a nod that was halfway between a bow and some odd acknowledgment.

The two blonds leaned forward, deftly splitting the pot between themselves only to pause as the crowd's murmurs rose, before cutting in half rapidly.

"I don't think so."

The two players shared a look, before turning to the source.

The gangly young man who stormed away from the table was standing in the middle of the bar, surrounded by a large number of similar young thugs. Each of them had hard, greedy eyes and swagger born out of cocksure belief in the knives and swords they carried.

"You think you two rich pieces of shit can play us for idiots and leave with _our_ money?" The man sneered.

"Your money?" Naruto quirked an eyebrow. "We won it fair and square."

"Don't take me for an idiot, you rich pansy." The young man spat on the ground. "No one wins like that. NO ONE. And the only time you two shits were losing was to each other, after you both waltz in the docks at the same time? How stupid do you think we are?!"

"Very, actually, if you think you can take anything that belongs to me." The voice was smooth, but cold. There was no killer intent in it but its chilly quality was more than enough to act like a verbal whip, shutting some of the louder thugs up right away. The sandy haired man was standing calmly, relaxed, not a muscle tense.

His blue eyes were like frozen lakes, taking in every wannabe criminal with chilly detachment and dismissing them out of hand with dispassionate contempt one would show a bug.

"You piece of shit!" The gangly man reddened. "You think you can just come in here and insult me like that?!" The gangster drew his sword wildly, "I'm gonna kill you!"

"Jiro... don't be a fool."

The gangly man turned to the corner, sneering at the old shinobi who was one of the players before, now sipping a drink calmly.

"Stay out of this, old man!" He snapped, though there was some odd care in his words, despite the bluster. "It is none of your business, they ain't local! I'm taking what's mine, that's all!"

"I am not the one you need to worry about, brat." The gray haired shinobi took a sip of sake.

"You think I am scared of two rich pansies, eh?!" Jiro laughed derisively. "Man, you need to have your eyes checked, gramps!"

The shinobi paused, cocking an eyebrow and Jiro stiffened, taking a cautious step back.

The old man swirled his sake calmly, before draining the saucer and pouring himself another one. "Walk away, Jiro."

"That an order, geezer?" The man sneered.

The older shinobi just sighed, shaking his head.

"Goodbye, Jiro." He said calmly.

"...fucking antique." The younger man muttered, before turning to the table, eyes narrowing. "Now, you rich fuck, what were you sayin'?"

"Short memory and retardation?" The sandy-haired man said mockingly. "You are really out of luck, aren't you? Your mother must be _so_ sad."

The young man paled, before rising his sword with a snarl, only to halt abruptly.

"You're boring."

A loud gurgle was all that managed to escape Jiro's throat before his body and head came apart at the neck, falling in two separate directions.

Setsuna stretched languidly, the blade of the jian moving with the same serpentine, sensuous grace her body did.

"I don't like boring things." The kunoichi said blandly.

"...that... that..." One of the thugs swallowed, looking at the headless corpse. "They killed Jiro!"

"Those bastards!" Screamed another.

"I say we-" Whatever was to be said, stopped mid-sentence, as the almost two-meter tall man fell down, a crossbow bolt in his skull.

The crowd fell silent once again, the eyes traveling towards the white clad man, who was puffing on his cigar calmly, two crossbows in his hands.

"Now I know what you're thinking." He said, his voice smooth. "You are thinking 'He just shot a bolt, he only has one other left'. But that is still one more bolt you can't duck. One of you will be hit. Maybe it will be you, maybe it will be your neighbor - all depending on your luck."

The sandy haired man smiled pleasantly, though the faint undertone of menace was anything but.

"Now, the question you want to ask yourselves is, do I feel lucky?" The eyes weren't cold anymore, but almost gleeful, and terrifyingly clear. For a moment, one could almost feel the tension rising steadily in the group of thugs as they gazed at the crossbow as if entranced.

"Well?" The silky voice resounded in the suddenly deathly silent bar. "_Do you?_"

The crowd wavered.

A moment later, all anyone could hear was a rushed steps and sounds of steel hitting the floor as the wannabe gangsters vacated the premises, leaving behind two corpses and a lot of third rate weapons.

The old shinobi in the corner shook his head.

"Youngsters these days." He murmured, taking a sip of sake. "So excitable."

* * *

It was ironic, but the two strongest bijuu (out of those sealed into humans anyway) had the most combat-useless abilities of them all.

Shukaku, the weakest, one-tail, pink-elephant-seeing stone cold crazy tanuki could become a living desert and a giant sandbox rolled into one, down to the levitating sand. How exactly that worked, no one really knew (aside from five people - one of whom was alive currently and didn't feel like sharing) but work it did.

Sanbi, for being a total, complete, utter moron could spam tsunamis (out of thin air, more or less, simply by liquefying the moisture in the surroundings) that made S-class ninjutsu of Kiri look like puddles, while Yonbi's earth manipulation abilities made Doton masters of Iwa cry.

Most of those abilities, however reduced and transformed, transferred to their hosts - either directly or not. For Gaara, the Suna's jinchuuriki it was his infamous 'ultimate defense', for Yonbi's host it was the downright absurd hardiness of body and bones.

One would think that for the two strongest bijuu - one by virtue of actually liking her host and working _with_ her instead of sincerely wishing to eat her, the other simply because it was nine tails and was just that fucking absurdly powerful period - the 'extras' should be immense, deadly and overpowered on a level that made Mangekyo Sharingan look tame.

One would be very wrong.

Uzumaki Naruto, the jinchuuriki of Kyuubi no Kitsune (or Yoko, or Youkai - depending on who said, what they said and what they knew), the bijuu that could cause tsunami with its tails, rip earth asunder with a flick its paws and set entire forests on fire with one swipe of its claws had precisely one 'ability' from his unwilling tenant.

Well, not counting the animalistically keener senses, stamina and other minor additions that were, more or less, shared by all jinchuuriki and had more to do with the side effects of sealing or mingling chakra than anything else.

He couldn't, despite being apparently of kitsune stock, set things on fire with his eyes. He couldn't manipulate elements in ways that defied descriptions or conventional ninjutsu knowledge. He couldn't cast grand illusions so accurate everybody and their dog thought they were real either.

Instead, the jinchuuriki of the greatest of bijuu could shape shift. Both shape, and - to his unending frustration courtesy of certain Uchiha - gender. And it was limited shape shifting, too, given he couldn't turn into animals or inanimate objects.

Of course, as Naruto discovered, the supposedly harmless ability was complete on a level that bordered on not just improbable, but outright impossible. To put it plainly, Naruto could be anyone, of any age, race or gender.

Missing those golden years of youth, lollipops and milk teeth? No problem - bam, you're six years old again. Feeling like hitting the town, and spending some time with the ladies of the night? Why, be my guest. Twenty five old enough? Want some stubble, maybe a different hair color, bigger muscles, or a scar or something? No problem. Feeling pretty? Say no more - from a blushing schoolgirl to a seductive femme fatale - with the MILF factor included as a bonus if you want it.

He could do it all, _be_ it all. The sky was no longer the limit. And given the fact even things like his scent, presence, movement and chakra signature changed, one could easily see why Sasuke called the ability 'completely broken' with the blistering envy that led to the development of the walking headache that was Uchiha's 'gender is optional' attitude.

But then, as far as Naruto was concerned, Sasuke-chan _was_ incredibly hot, so it made up for a lot. And the freakout factor was so fun to abuse, regardless how you went about it.

Nii Yugito had a similar problem.

Nibi wasn't a particularly powerful creature as far as bijuu went. She was fast, deadly and as dangerous as any other bijuu, but far from the most powerful of the nine.

However as far as Jinchuuriki went, Nibi's host was the most powerful among them (or second most powerful, to be exact but then Naruto was very hush hush and Kyuubi was fucking lazy). It wasn't because her seal was better, it wasn't because of the superior training. It wasn't also because of the fact that the Sandaime Raikage, in a rare influx of common sense, decided to treat the girl with a village-destroying demon in her stomach like a prized weapon should be, making sure Yugito grew up to be a surprisingly well adjusted, if a workaholic member of the community. Well, as far as a person who killed people for living could be. No.

It harkened back to the day when Yugito was a well provided-for but lonely child of six and was told of her role by the Sandaime. Yugito, from the day she could walk, was raised to be a shinobi. A calm, calculating, fairly dispassionate saboteur, bodyguard and assassin. Training areas were her playgrounds, the records of battles her fairy tales and weapons her toys while Sun Tzu was among her recreational reading.

Above that however, Yugito was, despite all the training and attention given to her by the instructors, a lonely six year old girl.

It was a very stupefied Nekomata who, coming into the direct mental contact with the host, instead of fear or desire for power, met a calm, wide-eyed girl who simply looked on with admiration and curiosity.

Yugito, it should be added, never had a pet - such silly things were distractions from the rather strict but reasonable regime designed to create a perfect shinobi. But like almost every girl, she had an affinity for all things soft and fluffy. At least she thought the nekomata was soft, fluffy and very petable.

Nibi actually was far from soft and fluffy, but she _was_ a cat, and rather vain by definition. And her fur was rather fabulous, if she could say so herself.

It was the day that would live in infamy for decades to come. The day when the host, who was supposed to use and abuse the power, and the demon - who was supposed to snarl, threaten to eat and be a general nuisance before it ended the host's life prematurely due to the chakra poisoning - bonded.

Nibi never had kittens - she was a living manifestation of chakra, a 'souped up' nekomata so to speak and as such she didn't treat Yugito as one. Yugito never had a pet or family given she was an orphan, but it was easy to fall in the companionship with the spirit.

Nibi wasn't a 'distraction', she wouldn't be a spy from the enemy village, or an assassin or a fake friend sent to spy on her. Nibi would never leave, never betray - they lived and died together. Hell, the friendly Nibi was fully within the interest of Kumo and she was supposed to use every asset she had for the sake of the village, right? Where was the bad side to that?

On her side, Nibi found Yugito amusing and almost adorable. Besides, she was bored and cats need love too. Petting and fur-rubbing was an entirely new but thoroughly pleasurable experience she wanted more of.

At first unnoticeable, the effects started to be visible as Yugito grew older. It soon became apparent that Kumo's jinchuuriki could draw the power without risking going berserk or that the constant chakra backlash that made jinchuuriki live short, violent lives due to the side effects didn't seem to affect the host in the slightest.

If anything, Yugito was in perfect health even after healing serious injuries. The contamination of chakra didn't harm her, the rapid deterioration most jinchuuriki hit later in their lives due to the poisonous nature of the violent chakra wasn't present.

In fact, as jinchuuriki went, Yugito was a perfect specimen.

The Kumo seal-masters patted each other on the back, boasting of their talents and knowledge, coated in their puffed-up self importance. The only person not happy about it was the Raikage who only gave Yugito an unreadable look, his face impassive.

Still, for being the second-strongest of the jinchuuriki capable of drawing amounts of power which sheer volume left ninja around her gibbering wrecks, for a host to a bijuu who could apparently command fiery blazes of hell and make hordes of undead do her bidding, Yugito's flame aura could barely equal a B-rank katon jutsu if one squinted. Her second and far greater talent was, like Naruto's, completely useless for combat.

But where Naruto could shape shift depending on the situation, day of the week, or pure whim, Yugito had something vastly different in her kitten-themed bag of tricks.

"Crrrrrraaahggghhhh...!" The slobbering, smelly corpse rocked back and forth, trying to stand. "Crooaaaaaahhh!"

Yugito could talk to dead people.

"Crrrrggghhhhh...!" The recently risen corpse crowed again, almost sheepishly.

The blonde jinchuuriki's eyebrow twitched.

The ability, while creepy, didn't seem like all that useless at a first glance. Sure, she wouldn't be rising an army of undead creatures to do her bidding, nor would she raise some legendary dead shinobi to aid her in combat any time soon. But those who said dead men told no tales never met Nii Yugito.

"CroooooOOOO... guh?" The corpse slobbered, before attempting to blink.

However, as Yugito found out early on, allowing the body to be animated didn't solve the problems that ended its life. So a man who had his spine broken wouldn't walk, for example.

Yugito's eyebrow twitched again.

And someone whose innards - including his throat and lungs - were partially melted using some kind of highly corrosive acid wouldn't speak clearly either.

"Corrrrorrrrrhggguuu...?" The corpse groaned helplessly.

"I... _hate_ overly thorough ninja." The blonde growled, the spikes of rage coupled with mental and physical exhaustion of the past week cracking the usually calm and professional facade.

"...crrooogghaaa?" The zombie craned its neck, looking at its distressed mistress.

The blonde's teeth gritted loudly, an angry, spiteful hiss escaping her throat.

The remains of the fortified walls, now nothing more than burned out shells of its former glory, fell apart ripped by the claws.

"Shut. Up." The woman growled.

"...cccrrrggccrooguha..." The air in the undead's halfway melted lungs escaped with a hiss, the corpse falling down as dead as a doornail again.

Yugito took a deep, drawn-out breath, using the familiar relaxation techniques taught to her by the Raiko monks so long ago. The outburst of destructive anger would cost her too much energy and while Nibi's power would keep her going, her mind needed rest. Tired shinobi made mistakes.

'Mistakes?' She had to resist an urge to laugh bitterly. 'This stopped being a mistake and turned into a goddamn catastrophe!'

The nekomata touched her host's mind gently, the familiar feeling of soft warmth enveloping Yugito from the inside out.

'Thank you.' The jinchuuriki closed her eyes, basking in the bijuu's presence with an almost guilty feeling of luxury. But then, there was no one to chide her for it now, was there? Not anymore.

The blonde reached into the inner pocket of a ragged coat she had stolen off a ruroni, her own clothes discarded long ago because they were both too distinctive and she would bet they contained a dozen different tracking seals.

Her fingers closed on the jagged slab of metal, caressing the Kumogakure symbol.

This one had the seals too, but she personally destroyed each of those simply by sending some supercharged chakra through them, though it left the metal rather mangled.

'Nothing but trash now...' Her lips quirked up in a mirthless smile, before turning into a grim line.

A strong squeeze later, the shards of metal were falling down to the ground.

Her weapons, her clothes and now... her hitai-ate.

Her whole life was like those shards now. Past, present and future. In pieces and beyond recovery.

'Future? You _have_ no future, girl. That's it. You're _done_.' She snarked, the nekomata cooing softly at her partner's distress. 'I am sorry, my lovely. Forgive me. We are not alone, at least.'

The irises slitted, burning with gold.

'And together... those bastards who ruined my life... those bastards... we will make them _pay_!'

* * *

"Ahhh!" Naruto leaned back, a blissful expression on his face even as he put down the bowl. "Good Benten... this is the greatest of your blessings!"

Sasuke-chan chuckled, taking a bite from her cotton candy. Hana, her own cotton candy in hand, managed not to bat an eye at the fact the deviant managed to make it look both seductive and cute.

'Practice makes perfect.' She thought with a smirk, calmly licking her own snack before pausing.

Two pairs of eyes, Sasuke's dark and Naruto's blue ones, were.. smiling. She couldn't describe it any other way. They weren't looking in the same direction, even near her but there was the same touch of amusement in them - almost like one was some kind of weird Kage Bunshin of the other. Though for the life of her she couldn't say which was whose.

'Those eyes... are so... alike.' She thought absently, an odd light-headed feeling flooding her.

They were just... there. In the middle of the festival crowd, Naruto lazy from the countless bowls of ramen and all but laying on the table, Sasuke standing idly, leaning as she licked the cotton candy, words flowing in a banter that meant nothing and everything, with that strange feeling there was some hidden joke under all that innuendo and cheap puns.

They were there. Just there. In festive yukatas, touched with that 'smidgen' of overkill, standing in the middle of the gaudily dressed festival crowd, cotton candy and jokes, and those cheap 'catch the fish' games and-

And they stood out regardless. Just by _being_ there. Rich and grand, almost to the point of absurd in their silks and over-the-top attitudes, as if they took a step out of a fairy tale, while at the same time more... more _real_ than anything else around them, though she'd never know why.

Sasuke turned to her.

"Is something the matter?"

Under the raised eyebrow and innocent tone... the onyx eyes were laughing.

'I just want to know what the joke is.'

"Everything."

Hana blinked, looking at the blond who was sipping his sake.

"...what?"

The Uchiha laughed, a strange, smooth giggle that managed to sound dignified and carefree at the same time.

"Once upon a time, there was a great ninja." Sasuke licked her cotton candy languidly. "It was in a time where there were no villages and clans held the reigns of power in the world of shadows, when few not of the bloodline had a chance to become a ninja. Yet this man, a true prodigy of great talent, did. He fought in many battles, he mastered ancient techniques and became both feared and respected among his peers. Yet he vied not for the power, riches or glory like his comrades did. He was devoted to his art and aimed to truly understand it. Because of that he decided to learn the utmost secrets of it."

The Uchiha leaned back, sitting on the blond's lap and nestling herself comfortably while Naruto just snorted giving her a bit of sake. The girl refused a cup, instead calmly sipping it from his saucer like an overgrown cat.

"He soon realized that the lore was vast and decided that simply learning it all wouldn't be possible for a man in one life time. Therefore he meditated on the problem until he had found a solution. 'I shall learn the strongest, the most powerful and most sublime of them, for is it not the essence of the ninja?'. Deciding on the course of action he followed it with zeal.

Scouring the land for the most powerful of arts he found monks of the North, who were rumored to break the masters of arms with their bare hands, and learned their style.

His talent was great, his dedication even greater - soon, the monks called him their master and begged him to stay and take his rightful place. The man declined, for his journey was far from over.

Next he searched the shinobi world for the most perfect of ninjutsu. He encountered the clans of bloodline gifts, the monsters and spirits of power and men akin to gods who made the heavens tremble and he learned their secrets until he was even stronger than them.

"His legend grew so much every noble wanted his services and every ninja clan offered him daughters, riches and position - as many as he wanted, and as much as he wanted - just so he would stay with them. Yet he refused."

Sasuke's voice was smooth, warm and entrancing, compelling, spilling over Hana like honey.

"For he cared not for riches, honor or glory of the clans - as those he soon realized were just trappings of luxury. He cared not for morality and justice of the lords - for it was hollow and self absorbed. Determined more than ever, he moved on in his quest to find the last part of the puzzle.

He scoured the ancient halls, walked through battlefields, visited monasteries, bargained with demons and bartered with spirits in his search for understanding, meeting naught but despair. For while taijutsu could be judged by grace and efficiency, ninjutsu by power and effect, how was one to judge an illusion?"

The wheels of sharingan spun for a moment, as Sasuke smiled in that odd, almost inhumanly serene yet mischievous way she was occasionally prone to, which was - to Hana's amazement - creepier than all of her innuendo combined.

"Years passed and the despair set its claws deep into his heart at the fruitlessness of his quest. No monk could aid him, no onmyouji advise him, no ninja teach him and no spirit whisper the secrets sufficient enough to give him the prize he looked for. Dismayed, exhausted and bitter he came to a city of vice seeking to drown his sorrow in any way he could, seeking even a briefest of respites. And there he met a courtesan named Yuya.

She was an oiran, a woman of low station sold by her parents into the trade as a young girl and taught beauty and pleasure by shrewd eyed matrons of her tea house. While no exquisite beauty she was good at her job and her patrons felt naught but bliss in her arms, which she drew a measure of pride from. It was a small pride most would scoff at, but it was hers and she cherished it.

Therefore when the ninja came to her, bitter and drunk with both wine and disappointment, she took his coins and led him to her bed. But the ninja was inconsolable, still bemoaning his failure, only despair lingering in his heart. The courtesan's pride was small but strong. The ninja didn't want to share his burden but the oiran was determined and crafty."

Sasuke shrugged with a teasing grin, allowing the breasts to move a bit and there was no doubt what kind of 'crafty' she meant.

"When the ninja finally shared his great grief with her, the courtesan looked at him and laughed loudly. Enraged, shamed and bitter, the ninja threatened to take her life for mocking him. The courtesan just smiled and said 'If you do so, my lord, you will never learn the secret of the greatest illusion of all.' The ninja was confused. What could a whore, of all people, know of ninja arts?

But then he was tired and looked for years. So he relented and demanded the secret of her, lest he take her head and life with it. The oiran smiled serenely and told him she would share the secret but on one condition. For the three days, he was to follow her wishes without question or hesitation. The ninja agreed.

'If you have enemies I will cut them down. If you have oppressors I shall dispose of them. If you need treasures or gems of knowledge I can find them for you without fail.' he said.

The oiran nodded, and told him to be there the next day. When the sun rose the ninja was there with sword on his back and shuriken in his hand. The courtesan led him to a garden by the tea house. Confused, the ninja said nothing when she sat and bade him to look at the birds with her until afternoon. The ninja did as asked. As the noon passed she asked him to join her in a meal and ninja complied, passing the time with song, wine and music.

The very next day, when he came again, ready to do her bidding, weapons in hand, she asked him to follow her into the city. Thinking she needed a bodyguard, he walked behind her diligently while the courtesan spent the whole day buying the finest jade combs and picking the most beautiful kimono. The ninja followed her like a shadow as she went about her day until they came back to the tea house, where she bade him to eat with her once again.

When the third sunrise came, she bade him to join her in a song. The ninja was most distressed - he did not know how to sing. The courtesan laughed and bade him to sing regardless. His word was his honor and as such he did as ordered.

When the sun rose the next day the ninja demanded the secret, at which courtesan said nothing. Enraged, he decided to draw his sword, but despite the shame he experienced, he felt reluctant to do so. He tried to unleash one of his countless mighty ninjutsu at the smiling woman, but the techniques seemed to fade before they were even cast. Helplessly torn between shame, despair and reluctance, the ninja stood before the kneeling woman."

Sasuke ripped a tiny bit of cotton candy and leaned back, sharing some with Naruto with a strange smirk.

"Yuya smiled knowingly to the ninja. 'This, my lord, is the greatest, the most sublime illusion of them all and its secret.' she said softly. And the ninja was enlightened."

Sasuke slid off Naruto's lap in a sinuous move, reaching for the next stick wrapped in cotton candy idly, while Naruto got up, tapping his hand on the table, before bowing and turning away.

Hana blinked, falling into step, before halting at a strange, choked sound behind her.

The ramen girl was staring, in sheer disbelief as her table was slowly filling with gold, the whirling coin that Naruto left dancing on the table seemingly multiplying until there was a small fortune, while the cotton-candy man stood by his stall, a blank smile on his face, giving away the snack to people without collecting pay.

The older kunoichi's eyes widened, as she looked at Sasuke, who smiled serenely, licking her snack.

"You can't just..." Hana murmured carefully as she stepped closer than most would think appropriate.

"He gazed upon me, that was his pay." The younger kunoichi said calmly.

"And what a pay it was." Naruto murmured with a chuckle, a large golden coin dancing on his knuckles with abandon.

The Inuzuka woman looked at the duo, following them as they glided slowly through the crowd without paying attention. The coin danced - sometimes ending up on a table as a snack was bought here or there and mysteriously appearing in Sasuke's hand - then reappearing on Naruto's knuckles but leaving several of its sisters behind.

Absently, Hana nibbled on the cotton candy before slowly, deliberately taking a large bite and letting the overly sweet treat melt on her tongue. Her sharp senses drew in the combined spicy scent, interwoven with whiffs of salt water, musk and something deep and elusively sweet as it combined with the scents of various snacks and treats from the stalls they passed.

Combining, but never too much. Always standing out but blending for a few moments when something was taken, eaten or bought, before overwhelming that new scent again until it was just a bit of background flavor, only enhancing what was there before.

'Standing out, always standing out. As arrogant as the both of them.' She thought with wry amusement.

"What _are_ you people...?" She murmured, almost too softly to carry over the noise of the festival.

Not softly enough not to be heard, apparently, as Naruto and Sasuke stopped, turning to her.

"Every fairy tale needs a happy ending, a 'happy ever after', where the hero and the heroine get together, right?" The blond grinned. "Or it isn't much of one."

Hana looked at the laughing jinchuuriki in confusion.

Sasuke smiled, leaning forward to take a bit of Hana's cotton candy, sharing half of the strand with Naruto absently. The Uchiha heiress licked her fingers off the sweet residue cheerfully, uncaring of the scandalized murmurs of the cultured women and disapproving matrons.

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow at them, her stare mocking and challenging and the women turned away hastily, the soft murmurs cut, leaving nothing but haughty stares filled with disapproval and... envy?

Sasuke laughed, causing the women around her to scramble nervously away, like children caught with their hands in a cookie jar.

"Isn't it obvious?" Sasuke winked at Hana, licking off the last strand of the sweet treat off her fingers with obvious relish. "We are simply Yuya's children."

Laughing softly the kunoichi turned, sashaying away, arm in arm with Naruto. Hana stood there for a long moment, a thoughtful look on her face before following, taking bites of her cotton candy absently, the crowd closing behind her until she too was gone.

The fireworks overhead exploded overhead, the reflection reddish hue catching the lazily spinning wheels of sharingan among a small patch of black.

Then, like the fireworks, they were gone again as the sky cleared.

* * *

"Haaah." Sasuke-chan sighed, leaning to the edge of the roof. "And there they go... hmm?"

"Damn." Naruto frowned, putting the bottle he had been drinking from down so hard it almost cracked on the tiles. "I didn't want to believe it but... those bastards... what are they doing here?"

"Now that is an interesting question." The kunoichi sat next to the blond, frowning thoughtfully as they peered down at the crowd. "They shouldn't be here. Not even near, not now."

"Tell me something I don't know." The blond said sourly. "Itachi and Kisame, to boot... shit."

"They aren't even bothering to hide... or downplay their presence." Sasuke murmured thoughtfully. It might seem strange to think of two cloaked individuals, especially Kisame, 'hiding' but Itachi never wanted to rise unneeded attention, so there was a small bit of genjutsu to encourage people not to pay attention to the two Akatsuki members courtesy of the renegade Uchiha. Usually, at least.

"Hide?" Naruto snorted. "Have you felt that? That blasted shark... he doesn't even bother with holding the Samehada back at all. He all but fucking announces their presence."

"Announce... hmm. You might be onto something." The Uchiha said with a frown.

Naruto pondered Sasuke's words for a moment, before looking at his companion.

"They are playing bait." He said with a sigh. "Damn it. I'd really like to call it a coincidence but..."

Sasuke smirked.

"Yeah, yeah." Naruto grumbled. "So I am an optimist, sue me."

"They aren't looking for 'us' us especially, but..." The Uchiha shrugged.

"The Vampire Princess and the Demon." The blond groused. "Damn... I knew it was a bad idea."

"Oh come on." Sasuke rolled her eyes. "You had fun and you know it. You've been just itching to do that since we've stolen the Raikage's tower."

"Well, there is that." The jinchuuriki chuckled. "Though... I think they are here for you more than for me, if anything."

"The perils of being so drop dead sexy and desirable I guess." Sasuke sighed theatrically. "They can't help but crave my most gorgeous, unrivaled presence in their dreary and empty lives ohohohohoho!" She covered her mouth with one of the silver fans. "Didn't you get so lucky to be allowed in the presence of such sublime beauty and perfection on the constant basis?"

"I'll set getting lucky for later." Naruto said rolling his eyes. "We have two annoyances to take care of now."

"No truer words." Sasuke chuckled, turning on her heel, before pausing. "You do know I'll be holding you to that, right?"

"Huh?" Naruto blinked. "What are you...?" His eyes widened a fraction.

Sasuke smirked, vanishing in a swirl of shunshin, a card floating down gently into Naruto's palm.

"'Point for me, dead last. Again.'?" He read aloud, eyebrow twitching. "Oh for the love of...! That bitch has fucking _business cards_ for that now?!"

* * *

"We can't engage them in the open."

The steps were calm, even and measured, the cloak of a subtle genjutsu encouraging the eyes to slide away just enough.

"That goes without saying." Sasuke idly slid her way along the stand's silk, capturing a white robe with no one being the wiser. "I would prefer not to engage with force at all, if possible."

"Itachi - yes. Kisame - no." Naruto idly juggled two separate links of his chain, his eyes sliding over the shops and stands constantly, not quite looking, but not quite dismissing as well. "Separation?"

"We need a proper battleground for that." The Uchiha pondered the white silk in her hands before throwing it to Naruto, the garment vanishing before it even touched him. "Ooh. Nice. You've gotten faster."

"Absorb set - maximum." The jinchuuriki said absently, sliding his palm over an armor smith's stand, leaving it two gauntlets lighter and a small pile of coins richer. "About the only good side to that thing, really."

Sasuke blinked, looking at her partner.

"You actually incorporated _that_?" She asked incredulously. "I thought-"

"It is not a full Box." The armor plates vanished from his hands as he stopped by another smith, peering over the selection. "Only a part."

"Still... that tech is dangerous." The kunoichi pointed out.

"Only in interference. I can handle it."

"Last time you said that I had to deal with your comatose ass for two weeks." Sasuke frowned. "Don't do it again."

"Is that worry I hear in your voice, princess?" Naruto said mockingly.

"And if it is?" The raven tressed beauty quirked an eyebrow.

"Don't worry, I have it all in hand. As I said, it is just a partial seal, nothing to worry about." He frowned, tapping one armor thoughtfully, before throwing it away, revealing a considerably bulkier matte black breastplate underneath. "Oooh. A skirmisher!"

"Ugly." Sasuke sniffed.

"Precisely." Naruto grinned, the armor vanishing under his hands with a soft hiss. "Will go well with the cloak."

The Uchiha frowned, looking at the empty armor stand for a moment.

"Just what are you planning?" She asked suspiciously.

"Shark cutlets?" The jichuuriki said innocently.

"Without the Arsenal and with your limitation right now?" She snorted. "He'll cut you apart, unless you go full out."

"Which I can't do, of course, given the self imposed limitations and the real ones, hmm?" Naruto grinned.

Sasuke grimaced.

"Do be so kind and do not use a 'self imposed rule' wording." she shuddered. "The flashbacks of Gai are... traumatizing."

"It is true, though." The blond chuckled. "We can't overplay our hand, or it all goes bust and our vacation would be... terminated."

"It is an option, though." The kunoichi shrugged.

"It is _not_ an option." The blond cocked his head, eying several long, thin knives. "Strange design..." he murmured, before sliding his hand over them, prompting a hefty dozen to vanish leaving a pile of coins in their wake. "I don't know about you, but as things stand going renegade isn't in my plans."

"You're just lazy." Sasuke smirked. "Admit it."

"Ha!" The blond resumed the walk, leaving a befuddled and angry smith behind - anger that quickly turned into joyous disbelief as the man noticed the gold all but spilling over his stand.

"That 'ha' of yours really leaves me worried." Sasuke said suspiciously, following her partner.

"As well it should." Naruto smiled pleasantly. "Indeed, you know me well."

"Doesn't that just inspire my bottomless confidence." The woman's voice was fairly dripping with sarcasm. "It is one of _those_ ideas, isn't it?"

"Doesn't change the fact it is a good one." The jinchuuriki said cheerfully.

"Your last 'good' idea ended with Anko the Magical Girl." Sasuke rolled her eyes.

"First off, she looked damn hot in that fuku." Naruto pointed out. "Besides, you can't really tell me that Orochimaru being offed by a big fucking pink heart wasn't amusing."

"Well... it was a bit funny, I have to admit." Sasuke admitted, her lips twitching despite her wishes. "The expression on his face was _priceless_."

"See? All kinds of benefits!" The jinchuuriki said cheerfully. "I mean, what can go wrong?"

Sasuke paused, staring at her friend in silence.

"What? WHAT?!" Naruto snapped, bristling.

"I retract my previous statement. _Now_ I am worried." The kunoichi said flatly.

"Oh ye of little faith." The blond rolled his eyes. "Trust me, I know what I am doing."

"And that's _exactly_ what worries me." Sasuke deadpanned.

* * *

"So, like it?" Naruto leaned back, taking a sip of sake.

"This is..." Sasuke blinked, walking slowly through the halfway ruined tori into a large structure of stone and wood, surprisingly well preserved despite its obvious age and occasional grass growing in between the rocks.

It was large, though not tall - more like sprawling all over a hill to the side of a city. The long stretch of steps leading to the building was, amazingly, almost intact reflecting the past majesty of the structure.

"It is... big. What the-" The kunoichi frowned, inspecting the ruined, yet still majestic structure. "It is a temple!"

"Gireihei Jinja." Naruto took a large swing off his bottle. "The Temple of the Honor Guard. A very, very old place, this."

"Gireihei...?" Sasuke repeated softly, turning slowly as she walked forward. "So those statues...?" She looked at one of many armed, life-sized statues of samurai standing in almost every point of the temple.

"Yeah." Naruto nodded, closing his eyes. "A few centuries back, before any of the villages, shinobi were given a mission by the daimyo from the mainland, to kill the young heir to the family who held these lands. The mission was simple. The kid had only a few guards, nothing worth being to concerned over." The blond chuckled. "Of course, things changed when the ninja sent died. The samurai turned out to be fucking hardcore to the point that before they died, they all but exterminated the shinobi clan set with the job. Which turned out to be pointless on the ninja's side, since the 'heir' was a decoy, and the real heir turned out to be a girl who was getting married to the diamyo's son and took over in a few months after the father of her husband suffered a 'heart attack'. Sometime after she built this to honor their sacrifice."

"Nice. But..." Sasuke eyed one of the surprisingly well preserved statues, using a quick jutsu to brush off the grime and dust revealing the bone-white armors and swords. "I can understand the color, but they are all the same."

"Ah, that's not one of the samurai." Naruto smiled. "That's a part of their _army_."

Sasuke quirked an eyebrow.

"Each of the survivors had been given titles, lands and an army to command. Those who died... well, the princess said that if they couldn't command soldiers in life, she'd give them ones to command in death."

"Oh." Sasuke nodded slowly. "Very fitting."

"Only halfway." Naruto drained his bottle, before balancing the empty clay container on his finger. "An army for a dead man is like an empty bottle for a drunk. Useless." He slammed his arm down, intent on crushing the bottle until the swift hand caught his wrist gently, the other snagging the container deftly.

"But... you can always pour something into the empty container." The Uchiha said softly, before smiling. "If it isn't broken, that is."

The jinchuuriki looked at her oddly, before laughing loudly.

"Sasuke, Sasuke, Sasuke...!" He grabbed the raven tressed beauty by the wrist, reversing the hold, and dragging her closer with a grin. "You find the oddest signs of nobility in the worst places."

"I found enough in you." She said with a smirk. "Didn't I?"

"All too true." The blond chuckled, a new bottle appearing in his hands. "Come, let us drink - for the empty bottles and the army of the dead!"

"I'd rather drink for the living." The brunette serenely, taking the bottle. "But that will do, I suppose."

"For the living..." Naruto blinked. "You know... that might not be such a bad idea." A speculative glimmer lit up in the cerulean eyes, only to fade and return after momentary contemplation. "Sasuke..." Naruto said slowly. "You are a fucking genius!"

"I know, but thank you none the less." The Uchiha smiled. "So..." She inspected the temple critically, sipping her sake as she slowly walked through the courtyard, the cherry blossom trees overgrowing the formerly orderly garden with lush overabundance. "This is our 'battleground'?"

"Of a sort." The jinchuuriki shrugged. "You don't need much of a stage for the weasel boy anyway."

"Not really." The kunoichi murmured thoughtfully. "Question is... how do you plan to handle Kisame as you are?"

"'Facing' him..." The blond grimaced. "The worst thing about that shark is that he can't be handled with brute force alone. Especially with Samehada."

"You said you can't overplay your hand as it is." She cocked her hand to the side. "Which is kind of hard, given Sunflower."

"Actually, it is quite the opposite." Naruto said with a grin. "We, however unknowingly, had sown enough of seeds and our little side trip to Zukotsu gave me an idea." With a snap of fingers, the black clothes settled on Naruto's shoulders, the cowl, sliding over his head. "Masking our presence is a lost cause. However... they came here looking for an ancient power. Why not let them find some?"

The raven tressed beauty stared at her partner, before throwing her head back, the melodious laugh resounding through the ancient temple.

"Thank you, thank you." The blond bowed with flourish, sweeping his cloak theatrically. "You are the most wonderful audience!"

Sasuke clapped, still chuckling as a veritable shower of roses falling at the blond's feet.

Naruto grabbed one rose, before throwing it back to Sasuke-chan, who grabbed it deftly, blinking as the supposed genjutsu turned out to be quite real.

"Oooh. Nice." She said sniffing the flower as the rest of her flowery genjutsu unraveled leaving bare ground.

Sasuke tucked the flower in her hair with a small smile.

"Thank you."

Naruto made an exaggerated courtly bow using his cloak to sweep the ground in a grand fashion.

"Still... how do you want to handle Kisame without drawing deeply into Kyuubi's chakra?"

"Facing him with brute force, even if he is a clone, is a stupid idea. At least now." The blond paused, frowning. "Okay, ever. That guy is a freak of nature, and doubly so with that sword of his. However!" One finger rose pointedly. "Remove the sword... or at least its ability, and suddenly the odds change quite a bit."

"Oh?" Sasuke sat on one of the walls. "And how do you figure?"

"I spent far less time facing Kisame than you facing Itachi - for obvious reasons really - but I did fight him a few times." The blond rubbed his chin. "That guy is... specific. He has a huge chakra capacity, but he is used to Samehada taking care of the drain for his jutsu. Part of his tactic is to shield from damage by intercepting his opponent's chakra. He is so used to it he relies on it without noticing he does. Which is actually a sound tactic given he can't really be bereft of the sword. So, taking it away is out. _But!_" Naruto smirked. "What if you take away its main advantage?"

"That still leaves you with a big sword and a guy capable of flooding a small town in seconds." Sasuke said pleasantly.

"Yeah, well. There are ways around it." The blond said with irritation.

"Aside from overpowering him, stuffing him with explosive notes, siccing your pet projects on him?" Sasuke quirked an eyebrow. "Well, yes - several. But given we lack the resources or conditioning... I don't see how you can take him without an army, Naruto."

"Well ha fucking ha." Naruto rolled his eyes. "At least you will be using just your genjutsu instead of going against the human flood. So stop being so smug."

"Why won't you simply use Keisei on him?" Sasuke said curiously. "I've seen what she is capable of when you take off the limiters. With his Suiton countered, you could take him. You know enough of his weaknesses to surprise him."

"Keisei is out of the question." Naruto shook his head. "For one, I left her covering Hana and our kage bunshin if something happens - for two, if someone makes the connection, the whole charade goes down and we're back to square one. I didn't intend my vacation to turn into a 'let's train like crazy to stomp the Akatsuki' fest, thank you _very_ much." He glared. "I won't even bother mentioning stuff like the Root, Iwa, our mutual snake friend and all that mess. And let's not even start on Sarutobi and his paranoid idiots club."

"Feh. We can take them." Sasuke huffed.

"Yeah, sure we can." Naruto rolled his eyes. "And then our rose-colored vacation time goes bye-bye. Yeah. Fucking great idea there, bitch. No. We're sending them on a wild goose chase and party our way to bliss watching as they run around like headless chickens."

"Hey, no complaints from me." Sasuke-chan shrugged. "But that still leaves a question how are you going to face Kisame without drawing on Kyuubi and with so few toys?"

"An excellent question, Sasuke-chan!" Naruto grinned, glint lighting the cerulean eyes that Sasuke knew all too well. "Now, I can't 'cut' Samehada's drain ability. However all I really need is to prevent him from draining chakra from me, since I won't be using any jutsu so..." with a snap and a hiss a familiar hilt appeared in Naruto's hand. "I need something to allow me that."

"The Raijin copy?" Sasuke blinked.

"Exactly!" Naruto grinned. "Now... this is a fast copy - meaning a direct copy of the original, in other words set primarily for Raiton affinity. It is a direct antithesis of my Fuuton affinity. However.. if it is balanced with opposite - or at least non-complimentary - affinity and more than one type of chakra, the interference should bring a sort of 'friction' to agitate the chakra enough to prevent it from being drained." The blond rubbed his chin. "Well, that and raise the cutting and piercing ability some two hundred percent by introducing the chakra shadow vibration effect, but that's beside the point."

"I would hate to rain on your parade, dead last," Sasuke said with a frown. "But you don't _have_ the Raiton..." She trailed off as the jinchuuriki grinned.

"I don't _need_ the affinity." Naruto said cheerfully, twirling the weapon in his palm so fast it became a blur. "I just need it to be affected by it _strongly_ enough for an hour or two."

Sasuke blinked.

"But... even if I channel a jutsu it won't hold en-" She paused, her eyes widening a fraction as the blur vanished, the chakra contained in Naruto's palm ceasing to be a weapon with a hiss, leaving only a vaguely violet-tinged sphere.

The onyx eyes widened as the obi whispered, sliding down even as the blazing sphere sunk into Sasuke's chest.

The Uchiha gasped, falling backwards even as the yukata slid from her body. Before the kunoichi met the ground, a sure hand caught her.

"Naru... to...?" Sasuke choked out.

The blond smiled, letting the hilt sink in between Sasuke's breasts, leaving behind no mark save for a faintly glowing motes of light.

The kunoichi stiffened, before relaxing as the liquid fire spread through her veins, like a hot wire dragged through her nerves - though there was no pain. Instead, there was a strong, lightheaded feeling of.. euphoria...?

The lightning cracked, the silk cloth around her body flailing like crazy as the tainted chakra met the weapon.

On anyone else, or if made by anyone else, the procedure would fail - Sasuke was sure of that on a level that bypassed simple knowledge and bordered on instinct. But decades of mixing their chakra, of absorbing the taint, the distilled essence of power and life directly from Naruto's chakra system, did the trick. The Senreishujutsu connected the copy Riajin with her aura, drawing, bathing it with power and leaving an imprint - a part of what made Uchiha Sasuke Uchiha Sasuke - deep inside the weapon.

Naruto smirked, leaning Sasuke's body down just enough to press his hand on the Uchiha's chest.

"O rose of the noble castle..." he chuckled, grabbing the hilt. Sasuke's eyes lit up with red at the same moment the crimson erupted from the blade, the blaze mixing with violet sparks as the shinobi drew his hand and the weapon out of his friend's chest, grasping it surely.

Sasuke let herself rest on Naruto's outstretched arm, not bothering to fasten her yukata even as she stared at the weapon grasped in the jinchuurki's hand. It was odd - she could... well, feel it. Not really, but the vague familiar feeling was there. It was like she could touch it without stretching her arm. A supremely odd feeling - like the Kage Bunshin's returning memory, only both more muted and far more instinctual.

"Would you kindly get off?" Naruto grumbled.

"Later." Sasuke said absently, bending back a little more to notice several clones moving around the inner temple curiously.

She quirked an eyebrow as the statues were cleaned via quick Suiton and Fuuton jutsu, ink and engravings applied carefully on each. The kunoichi's eyebrow rose slightly as the scrolls were rolled and deposited by each statue, before being pushed into the freshly incorporated seal on the chests. A very familiar seal.

Sasuke blinked.

"Isn't that the Bishamon's-?"

"Yep." Naruto smirked.

The statues shuddered, a series of loud cracks echoing through the temple proper and the courtyard as the statues slid from their resting places. Amazingly, instead of crashing and breaking on the stones, the stone samurai instead landed with surprising smoothness, their bone-white armors glinting in the moonlight, featureless war masks down the stone faces as they started gathering in the courtyard in something resembling a formation.

"...son of a bitch." Sasuke murmured.

The samurai drew their stone weaponry, kneeling as one in salute.

"So... you were saying something about an army?" Naruto grinned.

* * *

TBC...

* * *

Senreishujutsu – lit. 'psychic surgery'.

AN: Just to get something out of the way. For those sending me mails and pm's asking about the updates of particular story or stories, about the update schedule or anything smiliar – you can stop now. There is no such thing, there is no schedule, I don't know when the next chapter of this or that fic will be out.

Also it doesn't matter if the story wasn't updated for a day, a month or a year – unless I say otherwise, it is ongoing, will be updated, isn't abanoned and will be continued. Don't ask when, though. I am busy with many other things and write when I have some free time and when I feel like it. Asking for or demanding updates is pointless – it will be here when it is done, no sooner.


	9. Chapter 9

Thanks go to Nightelf, Griever, MageOhki, Cornuthaum, Vasey, Typhonis and a hefty dose of stress that I had to kill by writing this as well as to TFF. You know who you are.

Edited by FinalMax

* * *

Reload

Chapter 9

* * *

"Hammer to fall."

* * *

The undermesh didn't exactly fit, but that proved to be no problem - he grew into it until it was like a glove. Boots instead of light silk slippers and dark canvas pants instead of comfortable slacks - all stark, but well made. For effect, all for effect.

"Hmm." Sasuke-chan cocked her head and Naruto frowned.

"What?" He asked, rotating his arm so that the undermesh settled in properly.

"You look good in black." Sasuke said flippantly. "Pity you don't wear it more."

The blond snorted, tugging on the soft cloth bracers. Armored sleeves were sometimes painful to wear if they moved too much and Naruto hated to rub his forearms raw.

He punched forward a few times, to ensure everything was setting in right before spreading his fingers and stretching his hand to the left.

The armor hovered, held in place by the chakra strings in the key points, looking like a ghostly warrior. The chest plate, the pauldrons, the vambraces and the gauntlets. A complete upper plate - light but still more than archaic enough. A segment shinobi armor - he was surprised he found one, and that he found matching greaves as well! But then Coral was full of strange stuff if one knew where to look.

All black. Matte black, but darker than his undermesh. A nice contrast, as Sasuke put it. Naruto didn't care to be honest. But he cared about the effect quite a bit, so he listened. Pity he didn't have a full-face helmet, but then that nice Mist rebreather would take care of that. Besides, he never liked helmets much.

The armor was of shinobi make, which meant it was almost absurdly easy to put on - or take off, if one needed to. Naruto amused himself by tugging on the strings, stretching them enough so that the armor piece seemed to hover to him. Most wouldn't be able to, but then most didn't have the sheer power reserves he did. Pity he couldn't affix them to things and 'tying' them over stuff was a time-consuming effort, or he'd have quite a bit of fun with them in combat.

He blinked.

'Hmm... Fuuton ninjutsu?' he pondered. 'Gotta look into that. Pain in the ass on control, but if I can blow rocks towards people, I can make 'em hover where I want 'em, right?'

"Oh I know that look." Sasuke-chan rolled her eyes. "Please _do_ focus on 'here' and 'now', dobe."

"Aww, shut up." The blond grumbled, clasping the breastplate on. "Philistine."

"Takes one to know one, blondie." She shrugged with a smile, before getting up from a large, stone chair - more fitting to be a giant throne - she previously 'sculpted' out of the floor via Doton ninjutsu.

It actually took far more skill than one might suspect, seeing as it was permanent, solid and didn't crumble after chakra was released. Not to mention Sasuke 'drawing' more stone to prevent the floor form crumbling. Sometimes, the amount of almost freaky control Sasuke had over her jutsu really impressed Naruto. Sure, he could probably do the same, but it'd require seals. Of course, HIS throne would be cooler. Orange and sculpted with some cool symbols. Like ramen bowls, or naked Anko or Tsunade.

"...heeeey, that's the thought!" The mad scientist muttered, leering. "Tsunade'd be better tho. All that glorious boob flesh..."

Sasuke blinked, her eyebrow slowly rising up.

"A Tsunade-chair." Naruto's grin widened and he waggled his eyebrows comically, his hands lighting up with sparks as he drew a rough form in the air with his fingers, leaving up a hovering sketch.

Sasuke-chan observed the image for a moment, before frowning.

"I don't know if to be turned on by the idea or if to be insulted I'm not included." She pondered.

"Bah!" Naruto rolled his eyes. "It is all about exclusiveness, bitch." He said sagely. "See, a man needs to have a DREAM!" Naruto's eyes sparked as he raised his hand, pointing at the moon. "No matter how unattainable, man needs to dream, to reach, to SOAR towards the UNCONQUERED! Towards the moon and stars! That is what the man IS!"

"And what has that got to do with anything?" The kunoichi asked curiously.

"Oh, that's simple." Naruto said matter-of-factly. "That chair would be a symbol of a goal. Do you know how fucking _hard_ is to convince Tsunade for even a bit of petting?"

Sasuke blinked, before quirking an eyebrow.

"Ah. A monument!" She punched her open hand with a fist. "Naruto, you sometimes show glimpses of artistic inclination in that barbaric chaos you call a soul."

"I'll have you know science is as much art as anything." He sniffed. "So there!"

"Your science, maybe." She smirked, earning a growl and a glare. "Down, boy." She patted his head. "And stop fiddling with that armor, for god's sake." The kunoichi slapped his hands away, deftly snapping on the pauldrons and clasping them securely. "Why won't you make any Kage Bunshin to help you with that I have no idea, dead last." She murmured, stretching her hand without looking and intercepting Naruto's chakra threads, 'drawing' another piece of armor towards them.

"I can't. Those fellas," he nodded towards the stone, bone-white samurai unit kneeling by the entrance to the temple. "will go berserk if I do. Bishamon's matrix is really damn strange. It's a mix of Onmyoujutsu shikigami pattern and kugutsu, with some bunshin outline to hold it together. It is, like, held by a roll of chakra duct tape. Too much feedback and poof!" He snapped his fingers.

"Then what about - stop moving, damn you!" She slapped his hand away, earning herself a pout. "What about that Kage Bunshin you left with Hana?"

"Well that's a different story. He won't dissipate. I just hope you reinforced yours." He shrugged.

"What did I tell you about moving?" The Uchiha glared at her partner and Naruto shrunk a little. It was ironic how much scarier Sasuke's glare was as a woman. He once spent a whole week trying to figure it out, only to receive an infuriating, self satisfied smirk and 'it is a secret' from the bastard.

Though it was around that time that Sasuke started to hang around Suzume, so there might be some connection. Sasuke gained a whole new level of disturbing after those repeats. Worse, Naruto had no idea about that - he was off gallivanting around learning Onmyoujutsu and digging a lot of old ruins, earning himself a 'Ruin Buster' title in the process.

So yeah, he was curious, and sometimes those old security seals and devices were a wee bit harder than he anticipated. That wasn't a reason to call him a 'Ruin Buster' though! He was a respected archaeologist, a real scientist! He had titles from three different universities goddamit! Well, he earned them once anyway, so it counted.

When he returned.. Sasuke was... well... Naruto preferred not to remember. He felt like an idiot, and Sasuke pulled it on him on three consecutive occasions before he caught on. And at one time the bastard didn't even use any henge, just some esoteric jutsu to change her smell so that his nose didn't pick up. Well, not until... after. It was one seriously, seriously odd repeat.

'Not without its pleasures, tho.' His lips twitched as Sasuke quirked an eyebrow, stopping her ministrations around his armor for a moment.

"Nothing." He said innocently.

"I could point out how ineptly you just lied by thirteen different factors, you know." She said with amusement, and Naruto blanched a little as she clasped his belt on with a smirk, her hand lingering around the clasp far longer than it was necessary.

"...never mind." He said with a weak chuckle.

"Good man." She grinned,

"I so hate when you do that." The blond exhaled, shuddering a bit.

"I know."

"Of course you do." The blond rolled his eyes, for once not bothering with the old game of quips and come backs. "You're really having fun, aren't you?"

"I can't help it." Sasuke shrugged, a faint smile tugging at the corner of her lips as she slid his hands in the vambraces. "Coral... this place affects me a lot." She said thoughtfully.

"Silk and satin sheets, eh?" Naruto said with understanding.

"Yes." Sasuke hesitated for a moment, frowning. "There is the... heat in the air. It is always warm here, people wear less, and there is a slightly desperate undercurrent of... letting go." She murmured. "Come as you aren't.. or rather as you would wish to be. No obligations, just have fun and relax."

"That's Coral, all right." The mad scientist smiled. "You know, if I ever wanted to live somewhere for any longer period of time? It'd be either here, or in Snow. Ruins on the thousands of uncharted islands, lost treasures of the pirate princes, strongholds of bandit kings and monasteries lost to time... and then summer wine as you return, silk sheets and opulence after roughing it for weeks..."

"Cold wine, warm women and sex on the beach." Sasuke smiled faintly. "Poker until dawn and exotic dancers in the evenings. A skirmish to make sure the blood's red still and gold thrown to courtesans treated like princesses. Exotic food stalls and music with a scent of incense, honey and spice permeating all around it..." She trailed off, shaking her head with a soft chuckle. "And who is the romantic here, hmm?" She gave him the gloves.

"Heh. I guess you're right." Naruto nodded, tugging them on and flexing his fingers. "Nice. Soft and supple, but with armor plates over them. Should hold just enough."

"Now... for the final step." Sasuke's eyes glinted with amusement as the kunoichi drew her arms out, the cloak coming alive in her hands like a piece of shadow given flesh, before circling Naruto, who closed his eyes briefly so that the mantle settled over his shoulders without any fuss. "Hmm... I have to say it looks much better than your orange monstrosities you call lab coats." She said finally after inspecting the blond for a long moment. "Still a bit ridiculous, though."

"Like their baggy, red-cloud patterned cloaks aren't." Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Ah, yes. That." Sasuke said sourly. "No sense of style those guys. If they are villains, they could at least dress the part. There is no crime in looking good, instead of mildly ridiculous. Not to mention those hats with those strips hanging and all... UGH!" The Uchiha shuddered. "They butcher the good name of the dramatic use of kasa everywhere."

"Uchiha Sasuke - protecting the dramatic use of clothes for appropriate situations everywhere." Naruto grinned.

"Says the man who is a ninja wearing orange lab coats for stealth missions and using fuuton ninjutsu to make them sway right." Sasuke deadpanned.

"Hey now, that's cool!" Naruto protested. "There is nothing cooler than a nice bit of orange cloak fluttering behind you when you make an entrance!"

"Do you yell 'dynamic entry' while wearing a spandex suit too?" Sasuke smirked, causing the boy to chuckle and rub his neck. "...wait." The Uchiha blinked. "For real?"

"...well, once or twice." he admitted. "I just wanted to know how it feels, yanno?"

Sasuke gave Naruto a long, blank look, before smiling sweetly. And that was more disturbing than most of the stuff the blond had seen in his long, long life.

"Naruto?" The cutesy smile became even more of a diabetic-killing one if that was possible. "If you do that, I will make sure your taste buds will never - EVER - be able to taste ramen again."

Naruto blanched.

"It is madness!" He protested.

"Madness?" She poked him in the chest, causing the blond to take a step backwards. "It is Sasuke-chan."

Naruto blinked.

"...there is a difference?"

* * *

"Hey, Itachi-san... how long are we gonna to do that?" Kisame ripped into his fried fish absently, Samehada on his arm swaying lightly. "Not that I don't enjoy the festival, mind you, but we're here for a reason, right?"

"As long as we need to." Itachi said calmly, coffee-flavored pocky crunching under his teeth in a pleasant, almost dreamy way. It was so hard to find coffee flavor, so he was going to enjoy it while he could.

"You are certainly confident in those guys' abilities." the Mist nukenin murmured, lazily observing the flow of people around them - the festival was in full swing and despite the late hour it didn't seem to diminish people's enthusiasm one bit. On the other hand it was Coral, so it was to be expected. "I don't know, Itachi-san... This place is like a boiling cauldron. Finding us, even if we ain't hiding..." He trailed off, noticing that Itachi stopped eating his pocky and simply stared ahead.

He followed the Uchiha's gaze, only to blink.

It was a woman - a lithe, dark haired young woman, clad in simple black gi and hakama combination with long white haori that reached her knees. From the looks of it she also wore a sword - some sort of kodachi or shoto, if Kisame guessed right. Her posture was straight, her step light and her bearing that of a trained ninja.

She was also little over ten inches tall.

"Hoshigaki Kisame." She gave him a sharp look and a nod. "Uchiha Itachi." Her voice was, like her bearing, no-nonsense and disciplined. If she was a normal shinobi, Kisame'd say she's some sort of well-trained ANBU operative. But then ANBU didn't come in the ten inches tall variety.

"That's us." Itachi put down his pocky, his face calm as ever.

"I was sent to guide you on my master's orders. Follow."

"...the hell?" The swordsman muttered.

"Is your hearing deficient, shinobi?" The tiny female said, looking at him blankly.

"Hey now, shrimp..." Kisame frowned. "I have no idea what you're on, but-" he paused as he saw Itachi calmly gathering his coat and paying for their meal. "Are you kidding me?" He said incredulously.

"It seems our guide is here." Itachi said simply, turning to the tiny samurai/ninja/whatever thing. "We will follow."

The tiny female simply turned on her heel and Kisame's eyebrow rose slowly as she seemed to blur, appearing on their table a moment later.

"...did she just-?" he asked with disbelief. "Itachi-san, did you-?"

"Yes." Itachi looked at their strange guide, his sharingan spinning slowly.

"Huh." The shark-faced man eyed the tiny woman for a moment, before shrugging and grabbing Samehada. "Lead on, I guess."

* * *

"So, this is it?" Naruto inspected the chamber curiously. Some Fuuton, Suiton and Doton jutsu and the hall looked almost like new, save for some minor disrepairs here and there. Sasuke-chan shamelessly 'borrowed' his services for some, but the finishing touches were all Sasuke, down to the cherry blossoms swirling in the air - authentic, not genjutsu, and all it took was grabbing a shitload of them from the nearby trees with almost absurd amount of focus and chakra. Sasuke was a stickler for details like that.

"Yes." Sasuke-chan nodded. "More than enough."

Naruto quirked an eyebrow curiously, staring at the setup for a moment, before shrugging.

"If you say so." He stretched, flexing his hands a few times so he got used to the armor a bit. It was a shinobi-type, true, but it still restricted a bit. He liked to move a lot in a fight.

Finally, he grabbed his Raijin inspecting the charge in it, leaving the blade dormant and unlit. His own Raiton affinity was crap and he'd rather not waste Sasuke's. Imprints were a bitch to re-focus and he had a feeling he wouldn't get a second chance. The Raijin copy was straining as it was. Another attempt might just turn it into little more than fine dust.

'That's the problem with chakra weapons. Screw up in the making, and it seems to work just fine. Screw up during usage, and it blows into your face.' Naruto grimaced. 'Well, at least it works right now and should for at least few more hours. I think.'

Because facing Kisame without the sword would really, really suck. He was a chakra engine, true, but that sword of his was a fucking menace. He had never seen anything that could drain chakra so aggressively in his life. Naruto still didn't quite know how Kisame came into its possession or how the sword was even made either. He was an excellent artificer without a doubt - hell, he could make a copy of freaking Raijin no ken in six hours! And he still wasn't sure how did Samehada's smith accomplish that, even after inspecting the weapon.

The damn thing was semi-sentient, aggressive and picked its wielders on its own. And it really didn't like Naruto for some reason. Though to be fair, his own creations seemed to utterly hate Samehada as well.

He only hoped that this time it would give him an edge. In some ways Kisame was a more difficult opponent than Itachi. While less sophisticated, the Kiri nin was also incredibly powerful and liked to use that power. Fighting him was like fighting a living flood - you had to go for power and pray you didn't drown.

Of course, he knew plenty of Kisame's weaknessess - after all he fought the shark nin quite a few times in the past - but the majority of them he simply couldn't exploit. He couldn't speed the large man to death since his body wasn't up to it. Straight ninjutsu was useless since Samehada would eat it. Simply overpowering him was out since Kisame was powerful enough to both take it and respond in kind. Besides, seeing as he would fry himself if he went for that level of Kyuubi's power that was a non-option.

He endured Sasuke's tender love and care once or twice and it was once or twice too many. While the Uchiha was a very good medic nin, the bastard was also rather disturbing and he wasn't going to get a repeat of 'Uchiha Hospital' any time soon. No way in HELL. It didn't matter how hot the nurse uniform looked on Sasuke-chan. Just... no.

So that left cheating like crazy. He lacked a lot from his bag of tricks, but he had chosen the battlefield and prepared a thing or two that were going to give the former Kiri ninja a nasty surprise. If he kept Kisame off balance long enough, he could win. Getting him off balance, though, was going to be a bitch and involve property damage galore and more than a bit of overkill.

"My type of battle." Naruto grinned, clipping Raijin to his belt and turned to Sasuke. "How much time to you need?"

"Time isn't really that important. I just need him alone." The raven-haired beauty said, straightening the loose yukata, giving it a critical look before tugging it a tiny bit more disheveled than it was before. "I am not going to fight him up front. That's idiotic - he'd squash me like a bug as I am right now."

"Genjutsu, huh?" Naruto scratched his chin. "He'll be burning chakra breaking the illusions like crazy. What if he pulls Tsukuyomi on you?"

"I am counting on it, actually." Sasuke shrugged. "Itachi's problem is that he puts too much faith in his sharingan's genjutsu ability - he never really learned the deeper aspects of the art and lets the sharingan work for him. So when he gets frustrated..."

"Tsukuyomi." Naruto shook his head. "I almost feel sorry for him."

"I don't." Sasuke's sharingan spun for a moment, before dying into nothingness, leaving only onyx eyes behind, even as the rest of Sasuke's silhouette broke into cherry blossoms, fading with a gust of wind, before swirling around the blond "Let's get wild, Naruto." The wind whispered, echoing through the hall.

The blond smirked, pulling out a full-face rebreather mask and fastening it on his face.

A moment later, a soft hissing sound filled the chamber.

"This is where the fun begins."

* * *

The trek was unexpectedly long, though Kisame had to admit he was rather surprised by their strange guide. The shrimp wasn't just keeping up with them, but outpaced them at will without any sign of a strain. At first he thought she was some kind of puppet - god knew Sasori made some strange stuff - but there was no sign of anyone controlling her, and Samehada could feel the tiny ninja girl's chakra. She might have been a summon, but he had never heard of any summon like that. Though he'd be the first to admit it wasn't exactly his area of expertise.

'Live and learn.' Kisame thought, watching as the small kunoichi effortlessly jumped around the mountain path, before blurring and stopping on a tree quite a distance ahead.

He was honestly surprised that path was even there - they probably wouldn't be able to find it without some serious scouting, so a guide had proven to be a blessing. Although it wasn't far from the city at all it was covered in growth and masked by trees, until one hit a wide path made of stone. It was obviously well made, standing against time even now, if quite a bit overgrown with grass.

"It is a temple." Kisame noticed with a bit of surprise.

Itachi nodded without a word, his sharingan registering the surroundings as they moved. The complex was quite big - obviously someone spent a small fortune setting this place up, but right now it was a ruin. A majestic ruin, but a ruin none the less.

Suddenly, their little guide stopped, coming to rest atop a torii gate, looking down on the two nukenin with her calm face.

"Welcome to the Gireihei Jinja." She said, and Kisame frowned, before spitting a curse as a large slap off the corner of the temple's roof seemed to just slide, smashing in between him and Itachi.

The Uchiha genius didn't even blink, simply side stepping the block and ducking under the shower of splinters, while Kisame simply let them bounce off harmlessly off his sword.

"Now that ain't very hospitable." The Kiri nukenin cracked his neck. "Throwing rocks at guests? Damn rude, isn't it Itachi-san?"

A soft hiss resounded through the courtyard, and Kisame frowned. There was something familiar about it, something-

Another hiss, this one softer, before changing to the slightly louder one and Kisame's eyebrows rose a bit as a dark figure stepped out of the shadows into the moonlit yard.

"Impressive." The cloaked man murmured, his voice reverberating through the rebreather. "Most impressive."

"So that why that hissing was so familiar." Kisame smirked, eying the large, full-scale rebreather hiding man's face. "Haven't seen one of those since I left Kiri. Brings back memories."

The figure said nothing, only rising his hand, stretching it slightly upwards, and Kisame's eyes widened as he jumped back just before another sizable piece of the temple's roof crashed where he just stood.

"I would advise you to keep your mind on here..." The stranger clenched his hand, and Kisame cursed, drawing Samehada just in time to block a large chunk of the masonry that struck at him. "and now."

"Hoo..." The large nukenin breathed, eying the torn bandages over his sword. "Plenty of force... you've got some nice tricks, don't you?" He eyed the sizable obstacle between himself and his partner as well as - which he noticed at the same time - between the both of them and entrance to the temple proper. "Well now... seems like someone is playing the guardian dog, Itachi-san."

The Uchiha simply nodded, looking up at the torii, face as calm as always.

Their guide said nothing, vanishing only to reappear by the doors of the complex a few moments later and entering.

"I'm gonna take care of this joker, Itachi." Kisame smirked, ripping the bandages of Samehada. "You go on ahead. I'll be by in a-"

A nodachi fell down, and Kisame blinked, blocking it.

'...what the-!' he thought with surprise. 'But there was no one there, no chakra no-'

His eyes widened as he looked upon his assailant - a lifeless, empty visage of a statue, moving against any logic.

"Well, well, well..." He murmured, a grin appearing on his face. "And here I thought this was going to be boring." He chuckled. "Go on, Itachi-san. I'm going to have a bit of fun with that fellow here. Do what you have to."

"Don't tear the place apart." Itachi said calmly turning on his heel.

Kisame just snorted, watching him go away before ducking under the statue's strong, but slow attack and slamming the Samehada into another one, cracking its arm.

"Those toy soldiers of yours are a bit on the wimpy side." He sneered. "Don't you have something better?"

For a moment the cloaked man said nothing, though Kisame had a strange feeling that he was smiling.

"As you wish." He said with amusement, raising his arm, before pointing at Kisame.

The mist nukenin raised an eyebrow as a loud groan of stone resounded through the clearing, the ground shaking before the shadows around him came alive, statue after statue stepping into the yard, drawing their stone weaponry with an ominous crackle of stone.

"Ah." Kisame raised his sword, eying a small army of solid rock silhouettes with a grin. "Now that _is_ a bit better."

* * *

His steps, contrary to what he expected, didn't echo in the corridor. If anything, they seemed to fall into soft shadows that flickered occasionally with glimpses of white as his small guide strode forward. If he was anyone else he'd wonder how in the world did the whole ten inches of a strange woman was capable of keeping the pace. But he was Uchiha Itachi, so he simply followed, taking calm note of it as he did of a soft scent of cherry blossoms in the air and the occasional bit of faint pink under his feet that increased in frequency as he followed his guide.

The sharingan spun slowly, almost at concert with each step Itachi took, registering each shadow, calculating each trajectory. he didn't even take conscious notice of it - Konoha ANBU training and his own obsessive desire to test his capacity when he was one of the Corps took care of that. It was deep in his bones, impossible to get out. He supposed his mind would still calculate, plan and categorize when he was bleeding to death in some ditch somewhere as well. It didn't bother him. Not much did, to tell the truth.

Of course, things that did bother him he tended to obsess over, but then that was the charm of Uchiha blood, he supposed. He sometimes wondered if predisposition towards mania was bred into the Uchiha line, or if it was a side-effect of dabbling in things man shouldn't one time too many in their ancient past. Though he supposed that the tendency towards obsession must have been there before to prompt such experiments in the first place, so it was a purely academic question after all. Still a bit amusing, though.

It was always good to keep your mind occupied. Focus was a magnificent weapon, but it was a double-edged sword and a trap for a mind. He understood it late, but not too late to do anything. If his nukenin career taught him anything, it was that it was never too late to adopt a new approach. Flexibility was far better than rigid power.

His sharingan faithfully registering everything, Itachi stopped at the exact same moment his guide did.

The door was obviously old, though still usable and Itachi looked on with a bit of interest as the tiny (apparition? summon? He honestly had no idea) approached the structure, pushing on the wings open without even bothering to stop. The strength the tiny one possessed was less interesting than the fact the doors opened with energy, but just enough force to slow down before they hit the wall with a clatter, instead simply settling in with a soft groan and whisper as the bit of a breeze fell through, playfully spinning a small cloud of petals rising off the floor, before falling back down.

The room was old, if well kept. the window to the side lacked glass and was wide open, letting in a slivery streak of the moonlight. A single, soft sound resounded, a wind chime in the window swaying, almost invisible in the silver light. The Uchiha quirked an eyebrow slightly as he saw the tiny kunoichi fell onto her knee, head lowered to the floor in submission, knuckles touching the floor respectfully a few steps away from a large, throne-like chair made out of stone.

The breeze picked up, the chime resounding once again, the silvery tubes glinting and reflecting a bit of moonlight. Itachi blinked.

Was it his imagination or-?

A soft scrape of paper was unexpectedly loud, coupled with a breezy whisper of the sakura petals chased by the wind that rubbed over the throne, before falling softly onto a long, billowy sleeve of dark red yukata draped loosely over a smooth-skinned, pale form.

Her hair was what drew his eyes almost at once - straight and dark, it flowed down, almost indecently long and slightly disheveled yet neat at the same time, spilling all over behind the woman and almost touching the floor. She looked both older and younger than Itachi expected - if he had to judge, he'd put her age in mid-to late twenties, but there was something about her that made it almost impossible to judge.

The face was smooth, very attractive and without blemishes or creases of any kind, but while undeniably beautiful, wasn't what he expected either. He imagined a classical beauty, yes, but this was no yamato nadeshiko. Her features had a bit of an edge to them, silky and flowing, but predatory as well.

Then she frowned slightly, putting her finger to the crimson lips in a thoughtful manner, and the sharpness seemed to fled, leaving just softness and warmth as she seemed to murmur something to herself. Or rather reading, since she had a small, thin book in her hand with uniformly featureless cover. What it was, Itachi couldn't tell from this angle, but she obviously paid a great deal of attention to it, at one point smiling softly and nodding with satisfaction, before turning the page with a soft whisper of paper once again.

The little kunoichi knelt patiently as if made from stone and showed no sign of discomfort, unmoving and in the same position she was since they entered.

Itachi said nothing, simply observing the situation. He was in no hurry - Kisame was having fun after all and would draw it out as much as possible. Sometimes patience was all one needed.

The beauty blinked, opening her mouth and murmuring something he couldn't quite catch, nodding to herself slowly, her hand waving slightly in a 'come hither' gesture. Itachi quirked an eyebrow slightly as the tiny kunoichi vanished from her crouch, appearing on the throne just before the half-lying woman, the head bowed even lower.

The woman raised her eyes from the book, raising an eyebrow with amusement, before smiling softly at the small female, using one finger to raise her head.

"Hello, little bee." She said, her voice smooth and warm, causing the small kunoichi to almost shudder with obvious pleasure.

"Mistress." The tiny woman murmured, a slight blush on her features.

"Always so tense..." The pale lady laughed softly. "Relax. You are the one who bites here, yes?"

The small kunoichi was rigid, but it was obvious a small touch would be enough to turn her into a pile of blissful goo.

"Hmm... you must be tired. Coming out so quickly..." The beauty said thoughtfully.

"...I am still... capable of serving..." The 'little bee' murmured.

"Now now. Do know your limits." The pale lady opened her palm. "Sleep now, little bee."

The tiny kunoichi nodded and Itachi's eyebrow rose as the lithe, doll-like figurine seemed to blur, before fading as an outline with vague butterfly-like shape seemed to appear in the woman's cleavage.

"Stubborn, stubborn little bee..." She murmured with a smile, touching the tattoo gently. "Sleep, little one."

Then, as if nothing has happened, the woman took up her book, shifting a little so she was more comfortable.

Itachi was patient, but even his patience was not limitless. He came here for a reason, after all - not to play a waiting game with her.

"Greetings." He said, looking at the pale woman who said nothing, obviously absorbed in her book.

The silence reigned for a long moment, interrupted only by the soft scrape of paper.

"I am Uchiha Itachi." Itachi said, nonplussed by the woman's behavior.

"No you aren't." The woman said absently, not looking away from her book.

"You are neither 'Uchiha' nor 'Itachi'." She murmured distractedly. "And most certainly not 'Uchiha Itachi', either 'a' or 'the'..." The woman paused. "If something Uchiha Itachi even rates 'the', but let's not go that far, hmm?"

Itachi looked at her for a moment. This... was honestly a little bit strange.

"I came here-"

"No, you didn't." The woman interrupted him, still not looking up form her book. "You were summoned, and then you followed. That is quite a bit of difference, don't you think?"

Itachi frowned slightly. Technically, the woman was right, but that really wasn't important here.

"I have questions."

"Of course you do." The raven-haired beauty deadpanned, finally looking up from her book. "But before you state them, do allow one of mine, if you would be so kind?"

The nukenin raised an eyebrow.

"Tell me, the or a not-Uchiha not-Itachi..." She leaned forward, chin propped on her palm. "just _why_ should I care?"

Itachi blinked.

* * *

Samehada swung, less like a sword and more like a giant bat, smashing through the two of the statues and Kisame's grin widened a little bit even as he ducked over a large chunk of masonry, before using Samehada to push himself back and jump off the halfway ruined wall that crumbled a second later.

His opponent was ridiculous. He didn't see fit to move from his position and all he did was gesturing and showering Kisame with rocks of various sizes, while those weirdass statues of his continued to assault the swordsman from the every possible angle. It was far from the sophisticated, rapid pace of the usual shinobi combat - it was coarse, rough, destructive and about as subtle as that piece of wall he just had to side-step before it smeared him over the courtyard.

Kisame loved it.

He wasn't stupid - no one who reached a rank of jounin could afford to be as tactical and strategic acumen were a must for the position, but Kisame didn't like to think overmuch in fight. It got in way of enjoying it to the fullest, so he just preferred to forgo any fancy strategies and intricate maneuvers for guts, instinct and sheer power. Not to say clumsy or aimless power - he was a master swordsman and prided himself on his craft. But in situations like these...

About the only thing better in the moment would be if the guy started swinging some kind of blade around and could give him a challenge.

The Samehada howled through the air ominously, taking a head off of one of the statues, causing it to stumble, and then renew its attack, and Kisame's small grin widened that bit more. Opponents whom you could smash into pieces and then watch get up? En masse at that? Hell yeah!

'And this is why I _really_ took Itachi's offer.' He thought with a chuckle, spinning the Samehada over his head before brining it down in a smash, turning the stone warrior attacking him into gravel. 'Screw the money - this is where it is at!'

The gravel spun, the armored man slashing his hands upwards, before bringing them down and Kisame blinked, before bringing his sword up, smashing and ripping through the pieces of the roof of the smaller, halfway ruined part of the temple complex they were fighting in.

'Gotta admit it, that guy might be a one-trick pony but it is a _good_ trick.' The nukenin admitted, coughing and waving away the cloud of plaster and debris that rose, obscuring his vision, jumping away to get clear only for his eyes to widen as the paper whispered all around him.

"...well, fuck." he deadpanned.

The explosive notes went off, lighting up the courtyard like miniature sun for a moment, the dust cloud expanding, the pillars smashed away by the sheer power as Naruto chuckled.

If explosives didn't solve your problems you weren't using enough of them.

He tugged on his glove tighter with satisfaction, watching as the dust cloud settled over the courtyard slowly, coating everything in a fine dust of blown up plaster and stone.

'And all that for a price of paper and some ink.' The jinchuuriki thought with satisfaction. 'Isn't science wonderful?'

Seriously, he'd make love to science if he could.

'...hmm, though technically, considering Keisei _is_ a creation of science...' Naruto frowned thoughtfully, only to pause. '...son of a bitch...!' He thought with amused disbelief, before bringing his hand up and tugging on one of the myriad chakra strings he tied over to the blocks of stone and walls he fixed with Doton-jutsu before the confrontation, dragging up a large chunk of the stone floor to form a crude shield just as a large Suiryudan smashed into it, pushing wildly.

'God but he's tough!' Naruto gritted his teeth under the rebreather, feeling as, one after another, the strings broke under the onslaught. 'To think I have to start playing the higher cards early on in the game... I've been too lax. I forgot that fighting someone like him...' His hands tightened, chakra kicking into overdrive as every single thread in the vicinity came alive, connections to prepared blocks activating. 'finesse is totally wasted!'

The stones moved with a groan, before falling down like an avalanche just as a huge torrent of water rose, only to smash into the impromptu wall.

With the sort of pressure used, the hasty wall would just work to break the attack partially, leaving plenty of power behind it to smash into the blond, but he didn't spend time simply using Doton and Raijin to cut the multitude of stone pieces and affixing the chakra threads to them. Oh no. As always, there was a tiny surprise included and Naruto smiled under his breath as he cut power to the strings, letting them disintegrate and pushing his hands forward, the Fuuton jutsu howling as it was let loose.

The explosion wasn't like the first one. That one was guided and tailored. This? This was pure unrestrained and aimless power of the explosive tags affixed to the boulders.

Kisame blinked, before whistling lowly, swatting the shower of debris aimed at him by spinning the Samehada even as he eyed the tattered bit of mist that used to be a Suiton jutsu.

"Now that was quite a bit of power." He shook his head. "Kind of overkill, but I can't say it wasn't fun... though kinda stupid." he frowned. 'With that amount of power... did he blow himself up?'

"Kawarimi... no." Naruto's disembodied voice came from the mist. "You used shunshin no jutsu to escape the blast. You have been taught well."

"Ho ho... still alive?" Kisame raised an eyebrow in genuine interest. "Tough bastard, aren't you? Still..." The nukenin hefted the sword on his arm nonchalantly, observing the settling debris. "Seems like you blew up your own power base, huh?"

"So you noticed." Naruto walked out of the slowly receding mist calmly, dusting off the bits and pieces of gravel and dust that settled on his cloak.

"Not at once, but yeah." Kisame nodded, looking at the armored figure with interest. "Someone else might not but Samehada..." he patted the sword. "She eats chakra, and you hit 'er with quite a few of those boulders. Once I worked out why I got a bit of a tingle each time I smashed it... well, that was easy."

"Noticing it in such a short amount of time..." The blond stopped, observing Kisame with a calculating gaze from under his mask. "Most impressive."

"Not really." The Kiri nukenin shrugged. "But seems like you're out of stones to throw." The scaled sword hissed through the air, smashing the nearby stone samurai into gravel. "And you're out of soldiers. End of the line, chump." Kisame hefted the weapon over his shoulder. "Have to say it's been fun, but all good things have to come to an end and all that."

For a moment the silence, interrupted only a soft hissing of the breathing through the mask, reigned.

Then a low, snapping sound chased it away, followed by short, crackling burst and a low hum as the courtyard was bathed in the red glow.

"End of the line indeed." Naruto said smoothly as Kisame's eyes widened considerably, taking in the glowing chakra blade, humming in Naruto's hand. "As I said, you have been trained well..."

Kisame bit back a curse as the crimson blur struck, gouging through the wall he had been standing on with almost contemptous ease and shriek of pulverized stone.

Naruto paused, spinning, spinning the balde once, letting its hum resound through the air, before lunging at the Kiri nin, two potent weapon meeting half-way with a crackle.

"But you are not a master _yet_!"

* * *

"You have brought me here." Itachi's tone was his usual monotone, though while as calm as ever, there was a hint of puzzlement in it.

"So?" The porcelain skinned beauty raised an eyebrow.

"It indicates some interest." The nukenin looked at her calmly. "Either in my reason, the organization, or-"

A loud snort cut his sentence in half.

"Feh. You people...!" The beauty waved her hand dismissively. "You always think it is all about _you_."

Itachi's eyes widened a fraction as a whisper of silk came from behind him.

"Twice the pride..." Sasuke leaned over Itachi's shoulder from behind, her lips almost touching his ear. "double the fall, boy."

'...speed? But my sharingan didn't predict-!' He thought in astonishment, looking at the empty throne. 'Is it some kind of a counter, a high-speed technique? But there was no sound... Hiraishin? But there is no flash and that jutsu was lost and considered uncopyable so-'

"Of course." Itachi murmured. "If my sharingan didn't see you move then you didn't move."

The sharingan wheels spun, the air wavering a bit, before breaking with a sound of paper rustling on paper, revealing the porcelain-skinned beauty laying lazily on the large throne, book in hand.

"Your genjutsu is no doubt powerful." Itachi noticed, nodding his head once. "However if you are an Uchiha, you should know just how ineffective genjutsu is against those eyes."

For the first time in along while, Itachi could feel his blood simmer with excitement. He kept his sharingan activate constantly - to pull a genjutsu that fooled it, even for a brief while, without the Mangekyo...

The woman looked at him for a moment, before sighing.

"You are, indeed, Uchiha." She leaned back with a sigh, looking out the window at the full moon. "Looking but not seeing anything."

Itachi blinked as the woman on the throne seemed to simple shimmer and dissolve into moonlight.

Itachi's eyes widened a fraction.

'Another illusion? But-' He blinked, before nodding slowly.

"I see." He murmured thoughtfully, looking at the empty throne for along moment, before finally turning to the silhouette standing behind him. "To mistake the reflection of the moon for the real thing..." The corner of his lisp twitched a bit as the wheels of the sharingan spun faster, and the woman beside him fell apart into swirling petals that vanished a moment later. "I am not so immature as to bark at the reflection either." He turned to the throne, looking at the pale silhouette.

"Hoo..." Sasuke chuckled softly. "So you can learn, boya. Interesting. Still... tell me, why should I waste my time with you, hmm?" She quirked ane eyebrow curiously.

"Why indeed?" Itachi smiled faintly, before dissolving into cherry petals.

"It is simple because I am..." The Uchiha renegade sat himself gratefully on the window sill, leaning just enough to let the moon fall through. "interesting."

"Is that so." Sasuke's voice was like velvet, smooth and soft. And yet Itachi felt a bit unnerved at the strange, knowing note in it, though he couldn't for life of him understand why was it so unnerving yet soothing at the same time. He could swear there was something almost disturbingly... familiar. "We will have to see then, hmm?"

Itachi's eyebrows rose a tiny bit as the aroma of tea filled the room.

He frowned, turning his head a little, only to pause.

The bare chamber was gone. The stone floors, the walls... all of it.

Only the swirling petals remained, weaving in the air before they fell down softly on a nice, mahogany table.

A moment later muted sounds of music and faint echo of conversations coming from just beyond the shoji of what he recognized as either a rather opulent ryokan or a very nice brothel or inn, came through.

He turned his head back, only to see twin wheels of the sharingan mirroring his own, albeit slowly and lazily.

Itachi looked at her for a long moment.

"I see." He said finally.

"You don't, actually." Sasuke said flippantly, leaning back and extending her palm just as an elegantly clad serving girl with something that looked like a cross between a maid's yukata and a rather daring kunoichi gi gently laid a cup of sake on it.

Itachi's eyebrows rose a bit more when the girl bowed, excusing herself. Because for all her flawless skin, elegant beating and pretty face, as she turned, her form bathe din the moonlight, Itachi would swear the ebony hair were inky feathers.

He looked at the woman sitting in front of him, noticing the small, knowing smile on her lips

"Ah." He murmured, unable to stop a small smile of his own.

It seemed things just got interesting indeed.

* * *

'I am,' Naruto side-stepped a thrust, ducked under a cut and then pushed all of his body mass into a rising slash that managed to fry a bit of Kisame's cloak. 'a total idiot.'

Two swords met with a loud crackle, the Raijin in Naruto's palm vibrating viciously as it met Samehada's scaled edge. The scent of ozone fit his nostrils, but it was just air. The gargantuan sword pushed, and Naruto allowed the thrust to fuel his own jump.

Blocking made completely no sense - Kisame's raw physical power was incredible and Naruto, even burning chakra like crazy as he was, couldn't match it. There was a reason ninja trained their bodies, not just their chakra reserves. As it was right now...

The blond winced, feeling a spike of pain burning hot and raw through his muscles.

'...that was close.' He strafed, using a tree as a cover until it fell apart, smashed by Kisame's wild strike. 'Oh yeah. Lovely. Just lovely.' Naruto grumbled inwardly, slashing low, hoping to get Kisame's legs form under him, only to meet a sizable log of the tree he preciously hid under.

'Aw, shit.' The blond didn't know if to chuckle or wince. If there was anyone capable of using a freaking tree for a Kawarimi, Kisame was it. A second later the Samehada went high and Naruto let it slide along his blade, accepting and redirecting the force that would otherwise take his arm off into the nearest tree trunk. Had it been a normal sword and a normal swordsman, it would give him those precious seconds when the weapon cut through wood to swiftly gut the opponent like a fish. But Samehada was not a normal sword, and Kisame was not a normal swordsman by any means. So the trunk turned into a sawed-off runty log and splinters exploded outwards like a breath of a dying tree.

'...how was the forest supposed to slow him down and give me the advantage again?' Naruto grimaced under his rebreather.

They had long since left the ruined courtyard in favor of a small forest around the ruined shrine. Or rather Naruto did and Kisame followed. Naruto in search of advantage - Kisame with the same gleeful smirk he had since the beginning - if a fraction wider now.

Needless to say, this wasn't how it was supposed to be at all as far as the jinchuuriki was concerned.

'I know no plan survives the contact with the enemy, but this is fucking ridiculous!' Thought the blond, spinning in a vicious uppercut slash that hit a bit of cloth and some air instead of Kisame's madly grinning face, but Naruto didn't pay any attention, instead continuing the cut that sliced cleanly through a large tree.

Kisame's eyes widened as the blond didn't stop, instead entering in another seemingly wild spin, the ruby-bladed weapon little more than a circle of light around him.

'The Raijin used right doesn't just cut, shark-face!' Naruto thought smugly, before somersaulting and jumping back. 'I don't need to worry about being slowed down by what I cut either!'

The trees fell down with a groan straight at the nukenin, but Naruto didn't even bother looking, instead breaking into a run as his left hand made a continuous string of symbols and chakra burned through his muscles from the sheer overkill he had been putting his untrained body through. He was already fighting at least twice over his body's capability, patching the holes and deficiencies with constant, overpowered stream of chakra that long ago stopped being the gentle, pleasurable flow and instead turned into hot lava that was just getting hotter with each passing minute. His muscles were already screaming in protest, and he could feel the first vestiges of the familiar burn just at the edge of his perception. His time was running out.

No, this wasn't going well by any stretch of imagination.

'Stupid, stupid, stupid!' The blond chanted inwardly, his left hand making the last seal as he stopped rapidly, his heavy breath wheezing through the rebreather. 'A least it sounds somewhat menacingly cool like that, instead of pathetic.'

This was all going to hell in a hand basket pretty damn fast as far as he was concerned, however.

Originally it all seemed so simple. Kisame liked to enjoy the fight and was prone to drawing it out for the sake of fun - that was what Naruto was counting on. With so may strings he painstakingly tied into prepared blocks he was going to shower the large man with them and then use the rigged explosives to blow him up sky high before Kisame realized just what kind of danger he was in. A combination of Doton for rocks and Fuuton for power, a huge avalanche, enough explosive notes o blow up a small town and one mashed, grilled shark for everyone to enjoy in one swift stroke.

It was a magnificent plan. A great plan. A _flawless_ plan!

Only Kisame somehow was more alert than he should have been and didn't cooperate at all.

'Well, to be honest I never fought him straight up without a fucking huge bag of tricks and the element of surprise on my side before.' The blond admitted with a sigh. 'Shit but that guy is annoying... no tricks to be exploited, no funky abilities with convenient holes, no real weaknesses... just a shitload of power that simply won't die.' He chuckled, seeing as the mist from Kirigakure no jutsu rose around the forest. 'I can sorta see why people find fighting me so annoying now.'

But the way they were now, there was no way Naruto could match the 'older' man and he knew it. The gap between their power and training was simply too large. No amount of cheating could help in this case, not unless he decided to open the floodgates on the chakra reserves he had and wreck his body stupid trying to match him blow-for-blow. And he wasn't quite that desperate yet, not to mention it'd blow the whole plan to hell.

'Not like I can win with him like that anyway.' the jinchuuriki cracked his neck, stretching a bit. The armor was decent, but during the fast-paced combat in a rough terrain it wasn't exactly the most comfortable thing in the world. Especially when one had a mantle on. 'Well, tatters of one.' The blond admitted, looking at the lower, ripped part of his previously magnificent cloak. Now, as the moisture was gathering, the dark cloth was slowly starting to look like black soggy dishrag instead of the impressive piece of properly villainous attire he imagined when he planned it all. 'Never rains... never rains, dammit!'

He let the milky touch of mist surround him as it finished filling the forest, shutting the Raijin off lest he drew Kisame's attention. He had no illusions about the trees stopping one of the Seven Swordsmen, especially Hoshigaki Kisame. If anything it was more surprise than anything that slowed him down.

'A plan, a plan.. I need some kind of a goddamn plan!' Naruto thought furiously, his mind spinning like a dynamo, juggling the possibilities and discarding them as quickly as they rose.

"Heh... I gotta admit, that was a nice trick!" Kisame's voice echoed from the mist, seemingly form every side. Naruto didn't budge, knowing the trick very well. It was an old favorite of the Mist nin, used to confuse and scare their victims. "Though I gotta say that cut extravaganza of yours... it kinda surprised me that you could move like that. Like you knew exactly what I am going to do. Strange, that."

Naruto froze.

'...how the hell did he-?'

"That's kind of impossible, because there are only a handful of men who know that particular fighting style. Much less know it well enough to make a counter in just the right moment, just like that."

'Aw hell.' Naruto winced.

"It made me think, see. I tried to cut you up a few times, and you timed it flawlessly, every single time. A good swordsman or not, that's a bit hard to believe." Kisame's voice was almost... cheerful, and he could just as well be talking about weather, but there was a strange note in it. "But there is also something really weird in it, in that movement of yours. That chaotic... yet flowing movement."

The blond bit his lip under the rebreather.

"That flowing, rapid ability to change the direction mid-step, to continuously attack seemingly without pattern but not losing the tempo, those spinning cuts... heh." The shark nin chuckled. "There was a style like that in the Kiri once, you know? One of the Founding Styles of Kiri, out of which the Seven Swordsmen draw their skills. The illusionary, flowing blade - the Nagare."

Naruto blinked.

'...huh?'

"At first you got the Sharingan like that lady friend of yours, but that's not it. You don't just predict - you know exactly what I do and why. That ain't something the Sharingan can do, I learned that by working with Itachi." he paused. "Which brings a question... just how can someone like you know one of the oldest and lost styles of Kiri?"

'...uh, what?' Naruto thought with surprise. 'What the fuck is 'Nagare'?'

"At first you were just some kind of a lackey, but... to know stuff like that..." Kisame paused for a long moment. "Itachi was right, I guess. You guys are the real deal, eh?"

The blond scratched his head. To be honest, aside from some purely utilitarian stuff he learned simply by making swords - he had to know how to use one to make improvements, after all - he never learned any particular sword style. Naruto wasn't Sasuke, who was collecting styles like other people collected stamps - he was a freeform guy more often than not, and he sure as hell didn't remember learning any Kiri sword style, much less anything like that.

'Huh. That's funny. I'd swear I-' The jinchuriki paused. '...what is that chakra-' His eyes widened as he felt chakra levels in the air rise rapidly, the mist thinning.

"You made me a bit curious, I gotta admit." The shark nin said, before grinning widely. "I've got some stuff to ask you, but right now I don't care about any of that shit!"

Naruto paled as he heard a distinctive whisper he heard a thousand times before - only usually he was the one watching form the safe distance when Keisei flooded the battlefield.

"Oh." Naruto's eyes widened enough to resemble saucers as a huge mass of water rose over the mist.

"So don't die on me yet - the fun's just starting!" Kisame grinned. "Let's go! Suiton: Dai Hisen!"

The wall of water rose above the forest, before smashing down like a titan's hammer, swallowing the forest and Naruto with it.

* * *

"...Tsunade-sama..." Shizune raised her hand to tug at her master's sleeve, only to pause.

She wasn't a little girl anymore. Though that place still brought so many memories...

The genius medic didn't say a word, her chin propped on her elbow as she sat by the bar in the corner, seemingly content to watch as people mingled around betting on roulette or participating in one of the countless card games taking place in the casino. The usual, gleeful look of a gambling addict willing to throw another small fortune down the drain with wild abandon was gone, instead replaced by a tired, thoughtful look, with the usually bright honey-brown eyes strangely subdued and melancholic.

From experience Shizune knew Tsunade wouldn't say a word, and simply watch people, her mood steadily worsening until she forced whatever band was playing to play a few songs - always the very same no matter what - and leave abruptly in the middle leaving behind a huge tip. A tip that would equal the two weeks of stay at the inn adjacent to the ambling complex. Shizune knew this because it was Tsunade's fixed routine repeating every year without fail.

She had seen her mentor come to Coral on that time every year no matter what - once, few years back, when the storms were so fierce no sailor was willing to risk their ship, Tsunade developed a ninjutsu to get here on time and almost killed herself from chakra drain by performing it.

When she was younger, she had no idea why her mentor did this, throwing a fuss when Tsunade left an equivalent of three months of her hard work as a tip, of all things, until Jiraiya had one drink too many on one of their meetings (purely coincidental, as the old pervert claimed, but strangely regular).

After that, the next time they came, Shizune sat by her mentor and simply watched her, knowing that after she went, Tsunade would drink herself into stupor imbibing the sheer amount of alcohol that would kill most people.

It wasn't healthy by any means - and not just because of alcohol. It wasn't healthy for Tsunade, it wasn't healthy for Shizune, and they both knew it. Tsunade wouldn't, couldn't back down, and Shizune didn't know how, burdened with guilt over the whole affair. Because however unhealthy and obsessive, she couldn't help but feel a small bit of sinful pride that her uncle's memory was still alive in Tsunade's mind. She hated herself for that, the small bit of sick pride quickly crushed by concern for her mentor and hate for herself.

If anything, she knew her uncle would be horrified to see what happened to the woman he loved so much, reduced to visiting the place of their dream honeymoon on the anniversary of his death. It was sick and it tore at her to see Tsunade like that, but there was nothing she could do but watch her beloved teacher spiral into the deeper melancholy as the hours passed.

Like every time. And like every time, there was nothing she could do.

Shizune bit her lip but said nothing, lowering her head a little.

There was absolutely nothing she could do.

To stop Tsunade-sama's path to-

"A game for a beautiful lady?"

Shizune blinked at the croupier, a rather nondescript blond man shuffling the deck.

"On the day of the festival no one should sit alone nursing their drink, hmm?" The man smiled - it was a strange, small smile. Not a well-practiced smile of a casino worker, coated in the veneer of professional politeness, but a genuine one. "Sitting by, alone and simply watching others play... that's not how a beautiful woman should spend her time in a place like this. Unless the lady is waiting for a gentleman... or another lady?" The croupier winked, and Shizune froze.

'...that guy... is he suicidal?' She thought incredulously. 'Tsunade-sama will-!

The blonde took a slow, long sip from her cup, looking forward blankly, before focusing on the croupier.

"Go away, boy." she said finally, her voice soft. "I... really don't feel like losing anything more today."

The younger medic simply sat, stiff and unable to even breath to deep lest she set her mentor off somehow, wishing she could develop spontaneous telepathy to shoo the persistent croupier away.

The man, however, didn't seem to notice her frantic looks, instead shuffling the deck with skillful hand and slapping it in front of Tsunade.

"Losing, winning..." He shrugged. "Unless you take a gamble, you will never know. Otherwise, there is no point, no?"

Shizune paled as Tsunade's hand clenched, the blonde focusing her eyes on the croupier.

In that moment, Shizune was certain that whoever the man was, he had no self-preservation instincts whatsoever. In all her life she had seen her mentor use that sort of stare only a few times. Her face wasn't contorted into any furious grimace - instead it was carefully blank. Her gaze, on the other hand, was almost akin to physical force and there was no sign of killer intent in the air whatsoever. And yet she had seen that stare reduce trained shinobi to nervous wrecks.

The croupier, though, seemed to be made of the sterner stuff, simply returning Tsunade's stare evenly, not budging an inch.

When her mentor's arm rose, Shizune was sure she would be treated to a gruesome view of the man being splattered all over the wall, but instead the blonde simply took the deck, looking at it with the same, distant eyes she had since coming here.

"Will you leave me alone after I play?" She asked finally.

The man nodded and Tsunade took her sake bottle, sitting by a mostly empty table, ignoring the curious looks form the other players.

"Deal, then." She said, taking a sip from her newly refilled cup, barely paying any attention to the cards she was given, and waving off a questioning glance form the croupier asking if she wished to exchange them.

The betting, if one might call it that, was short and brought to a grinding halt by Tsunade, who simply outbid everyone and forced a check.

"Two pairs." An elderly samurai put his cards down with a sigh.

"One pair." A young woman on Tsunade's side pouted, leaning back with a dismissive wave. "Seems like luck won't smile on me tonight. Is she really that jealous of my good looks?" The girl laughed shrilly, waving her overly cute pink fan to and fro, clearly imitating a noble woman she wasn't but desperately wanted to appear to be. "At this table that's no surprise, I guess." Shizune just threw her a mild glare and a warning look - Tsunade could sometimes be utterly unpredictable in those kinds of situations, and her mentor displayed a very vicious sense of humor when she felt people overstepped their bounds.

Fortunately the only thing Tsunade was interested in was her sake so Shizune just sighed with relief, ignoring the shrilly woman.

"Ha!" A young scruffy-looking man who obviously didn't believe in shaving took a drag off his cigarette, before exhaling a lungful of smoke and fanning his cards out on the table. "Read'em and weep! Full house!" he said gleefully, cracking his knuckles before reaching for the prize. "Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, it's been a pleasure to play with you all!" he chuckled, earning himself a glare from each of the players save for Tsunade, who simply shrugged and got up, giving the croupier a distant, blank look.

"I told you, didn't I?" She said simply. "I really don't feel like losing anymore. Buzz off." The blonde medic turned away form the table, walking back to the bar.

"Losing?" the croupier raised an eyebrow, unfolding the cards. "The last time I checked, royal flush was the perfect winning hand."

The blonde froze, her eyes widening, and she turned to the croupier slowly, her honey-brown eyes narrowing.

"...what did you just say?" Her voice was soft, but Shizune could feel the steel under that velvety exterior and felt her hair rising on the back of her head. This was _so_ not going to end well. She knew it. She was sure of it. And she sure as hell wished she could just vanish right now because it wasn't going to be pretty.

"Royal flush." The croupier fanned out her cards for all to see. "Is the highest possible hand, no?"

The genius medic started at the cards dumbly, for along moment, not moving, save for her hands, which were shaking a little as she stared at the spread, noticing with a bit of morbid curiosity that the red king she was dealt was an image of a blonde daimyo that seemed to smile form the card rakishly, though not without kindness, laid just next to a queen that seemed to be a bored court lady with a pipe but a strange bit of mischievous light in her eyes, accompanied by a valet who seemed to look at everything with barely hidden amusement.

"...in this place... no less... in this place..." She murmured, her voice soft and wistful. 'Are you trying to tell me something... Dan?'

Her hand, shaking slightly, reached for the cards, only to pause as a low rumble went through the building.

Tsunade's eyes widened, and a moment later, the eastern wall exploded collapsing inwards, a cascade of water and debris smashing anything in its path and collapsing the ceiling straight at the blonde medic.

* * *

"...ouh...ouh...o-" Naruto had to admit that whining through that rebreather sounded really odd for some reason. "...fuck that... hurts."

It was a testament to the solid construction of his armor and his own hastily used Fuuton jutsu along with just plain inhuman durability that he wasn't a heap of broken bones, and was conscious to complain as he laid on a bed of wood, paper and cracked plaster that was a building sometime before.

'Well, at least I am not breathing dust - yay for the rebreather.' He thought dazedly, sitting up with a groan, absently checking his body for injuries.

'Thank god for diagnostic ninjutsu...' Naruto winced as a bit of wooden railing broke, falling on his back. Fortunately, it was a small one and it bounced off his armor harmlessly. 'Bruises, sprains, dents and one fracture... ho hum... not bad.' He sighed, laying back for a moment, feeling as his regenerative factor took care of some abrasions. Kisame wasn't here yet and it would be a moment before he arrived or found him, so he had time to take care of the injuries. Not completely, of course, but even a little bit was better than nothing.

The jinchuuriki peered over the ruble, blinking as his eyes met a large, straight piece of iron that could have skewered him through had he fallen just a tiny bit more to the left.

"...huh." The blond grinned. 'Seems like Lady Fortune still looks out for me, eh?" He clapped his hands three times. "I promise to do something nice for you the first proper chance I get, lovely lady."

After all, luck was like a woman - if you didn't appreciate her she just might leave you, and Naruto loved his luck too much to see her go. As Sasuke often reminded him, luck was the one thing he always had with him, even when things were down. In some way she was his oldest and dearest friend, so he showered her with compliments when he could, appreciated always and talked to her when he felt like it. Hey, worked with flowers, right? Not that he rated the good Lady at the level of flowers. Flowers were nice and stuff but Lady Luck was awesome beyond compare.

"Heh... so don't leave me now, girl. I have plenty of tricks left, eh?" He chuckled, rising from the rubble.

Naruto shook off the debris, his fingers snapping a quick fuuton ninjutsu to shake off the dust off of his cloak and armor. Who said all Fuuton was good for was cutting?

He briefly contemplated the pieces of his tattered cloak, before ripping it off his shoulders, throwing it away. That rag was just going to be a nuisance now.

The blond blinked.

"Hey, now that's a good idea. A _useful_ one, though..." He snapped his fingers, a scroll appearing in his hand. Naruto unrolled it partially hastily drawing one additional circle, cursing under his breath at the twisting paper. It was going to be a rush job, but it wasn't like he had some kind of a lab around here. Kisame was still a fair distance off so...

The blond rolled the scroll, fingers flying through the familiar seals, before unrolling it with a flourish again, spinning the paper around as it grew in size, the modified seals flowing all over it and growing until they erased any trace of white, leaving behind inky black that flowed down his shoulders like a piece of night.

"Kuchiyose: Ryoura." Naruto grinned under his rebreather as the mantle whispered, settling around his shoulders, coiling and moving despite the lack of any breeze to allow it to do so. "How about a useful AND cool cloak, sharky?" The blond snickered under his breath, before tugging at the chakra string tied to his wrist. A second later, a crimson blaze erupted from the nearby pile of rubble, burning through it before jumping into Naruto's hand effortlessly.

"Here you are." The scientist murmured, frowning as he noticed the tell-tale cracks along the casing. The weapon was still functional, but it wouldn't be for much longer. Not enough to take on Samehada with any guarantee of victory anyway. 'Hell, that is sort of like me.' He winced, feeling a familiar jolt welling in his muscles. 'Fighting like I do right now I have no chance of taking him down.'

He pondered the situation for a moment, before cursing as he felt the familiar chakra swaggering in his field of perception. The damn shark wasn't even bothering to conceal his presence - he was all but challenging him to act!

'Out of time, out of trumps... dammit!' He growled. 'No choice, then. Sorry, Sasuke. This one... I don't think I can win as I am now. Time to play some jokers.'

The blond gripped the hilt tighter, before turning it around in a reverse grip.

'Sorry, Sasuke. But it is incomplete and... just for a short time.' Naruto thought, pulling out a small, rectangular piece of metal. 'So just for a short time, just for now... it should be okay.'

He stuck the ornate place to the bottom of the hilt, before pushing it in, watching as it broke the casing, sinking into the weapon. A moment later, the crimson blade winked out of existence in a shower of sparks.

For a long moment, the hilt was silent and dead in Naruto's palm, until a short burst of red lighting ran through it, casing the blond to wince, but smile almost as soon as it passed.

'Assimilation complete.' The cracks over the casing lit up with faint red glow. 'Chakra link open, limiter seals disengaged.'

The Raijin groaned, and Naruto opened his palm, the weapon on it shaking and vibrating slightly as the bone-white covering kept on cracking, releasing occasional spark.

The red glow erupted, the outer casing turning into nothing more than ash, leaving behind a thinner, black hilt crisscrossed with a net of cracks glowing with soft crimson, an occasional red spark dancing at the top.

"And this is what I'd like to call condition red." The jinchuuriki cracked his neck, straightening as Kisame's silhouette came in sight.

The large man was in no hurry nor alarmed - if anything he seemed relaxed, Samehada balanced on his shoulder, a grin on his face as he swaggered into the ruined building.

"Heh. Seems like I caused a bit of an avalanche." He took a look at the ruined casino, before shaking his head. "Well, you're alive anyway, so that's not a problem I guess. Gotta say you're a tough bastard." He looked at Naruto, his mad grin widening a fraction. "Good." The shark nin hefted Samehada from his shoulder. "Come on, light up that chakra blade of yours! Samehada is itching to get some dinner!"

'...shit. Not yet!' The blond thought with panic gripping his hilt "The only thing it is going to get is indigestion and third degree burns!"

"Quite the mouth on ya." Kisame chuckled. "But if you don't feel like attacking..." The gravel exploded from under the large man's feet as he launched himself forward. "DON'T MIND IF I DO!"

'Fucking maniac!' Naruto hissed, barely able to avoid the wild swing and side-step a powerful punch. 'And wielding this thing one-handed with that kind of speed... goddamn he's strong!'

Samehada's edge ripped through the wooden beam and its stone counterpart as if through butter, shredding each and barely slowing down, reading for another slash. But slowed down just enough.

Naruto slammed his fist to the ground, the spikes of the Doton jutsu almost impaling Kisame until the shark-nin's sword met them, almost comically slapping them back to the ground they rose from.

'...why did I leave Keisei at the inn again?'

"Oh come on!" Kisame rolled his eyes. "Without that sword of yours you ain't even a challenge! The hell you thinking, moron? Some shitty B-class jutsu?" he sneered. "Are you fucking KIDDING ME?! Give me some of that flowing blade technique so we can cut like real swordsmen! Sword against sword, skill against skill, power against power! Come on! Light her up!"

Naruto snorted, a riposte dying before it had a chance to fly as a powerful jolt shook his palm.

He paused, looking at the black surface.

"Light her up?" He grinned, looking at Kisame. "Heh. See... that sword... she's a bit on a lazy side." the jinchuuriki shrugged. "I can't really make her do what I want unless she wakes up all the way. However..." he griped the blade, smirking. "Now the condition red had been cleared and she's ready to make some noise." Naruto slammed the open palm of his free hand to the bottom of the hilt. "Watch and remember as you burn! Come forth RAIKA!"

The crimson sparks danced on the top of the hilt, before exploding forward, causing Kisame to bite back a curse and jump away as a large bolt of crimson lightning literally burned a line where he had been stranding, going forward with no restraint, bathing everything it didn't burn in the red glow.

A moment later the flash subsided to manageable level, and Kisame's eyes widened a fraction.

The thin, katana-sized 'blade' of light was gone - in its place was a long, wide blade of lightning, pulsing and crackling madly, easily as long as his Samehada, though shaped more like an stretched triangle.

"This is this girl's true power. The playtime..." Naruto channeled a bit more chakra, causing the lighting to dance all over the blade. "is over!"

The blue-skinned man stood there for a long moment, before hefting Samehada with a toothy grin.

"Over? The way I see it, this show just got to the good part!" he chuckled. "Come on, sparky! Let's cut ourselves nice and proper, then!"

Naruto didn't bother answering, instead just letting the sword in his hand dig into his chakra reserves, the blade lighting up and vibrating in his hand as it crackled madly.

The two swordsmen looked at each other, neither moving an inch. Naruto tensed, the sword in his hand glowing a tiny bit brighter as Samehada in Kisame's hands moved to an aggressive position.

For a moment, there was absolute silence, broken only by minute crackles of the crimson blade.

The gravel shifted.

The blades rose as one.

Both swordsmen paused, blinking as a tremor shook the ground beneath their feet, and then scrambled madly back as the pile of debris to the side exploded outward with incredible force. Then exploded again, showering pieces of debris and plaster like a cloud, interrupted in its grayish tint by a white and gold blur, that slowly gained focus as the debris settled.

Just as the debris was setting, one of the leftover beams previously holding the casino together, groaned finally breaking, and fell towards the woman, only to explode mid-way, turning into a shower of splinters before the last vestiges of the cloud finally dissipated.

"Shizune." Tsunade said softly. "Take them away." The blonde's voice didn't change one iota, but for some reason it suddenly became all the more terrifying to the younger kunoichi. "Right now, this place had become a battlefield. From this moment on I can't guarantee your safety."

"Tsunade-sama-!" Shizune protested, only to bite her lip and pale at the chilly, blank look her mentor gave her. The younger kunoichi bowed her head, but her mentor ignored her, already walking away towards the two swordsmen standing by the ruins. "...understood." She lowered her head once again, before turning to the evacuation of scared and confused civilians she managed to save at the last moment.

Tsunade didn't bother dusting off her jacket, simply shedding it as she walked and throwing it off to the side, allowing it to drift away on the wind towards the harbor.

"One of you made that avalanche... no, that waterfall, to smash that casino." Tsunade said evenly. Her voice was perfectly neutral, and there wasn't even a hint of the killer intent - in fact there wasn't even a hint of her presence as far as chakra was concerned at all. No leaking power, no pissing contest. Control. Refinement. Focus.

For some reason, it was all the more terrifying when one was faced with the pair of almost burning honey-brown eyes.

Naruto blinked, wasting no time to point at Kisame.

"He started it!" He said swiftly.

"I started it?" Kisame looked at the blond with disbelief. "YOU threw ROCKS at me!"

"Rocks, not freaking tsunamis!" Naruto snapped.

"Rocks that were bigger than me!" The nukenin protested. "You threw a whole stone Tori gate at me for god's sake! Do you know how much one of those weighs?!"

"Are you kidding me?" Naruto rolled his eyes. "That wave you used was taller than the goddamn temple! And you have the gall to complain about one little tori? Get real!"

"Well, if you didn't _hide_ like some pansy-" Kisame paused , biting back a curse as the wall beside them exploded, showering all save Tsunade with debris.

"To be honest, if it is one or the other..." The genius medic retracted her fist, eyebrow twitching. "I really don't give a shit." For the first time, Tsunade's killer intent spiked, causing both Kisame and Naruto to tense as it washed over them like a sea of rage. "You bastards... my luck... royal flush... my fated luck... royal. flush." A torrent of chakra erupted from Tsunade, her eyes almost glowing with perfectly controlled, focused power, before exploding, causing the two swordsmen to curse, jumping back as the ground they were standing on became a fissure from a single, vicious stomp. "Royal. FLUSH!"

Naruto and Kisame looked at the fissure, then at each other.

"Huh. She's pissed." Kisame was the first to voice his opinion.

"No, really?" Naruto deadpanned.

"You..." If her eyes were glowing before, they were running white-hot now. "ruined my first-in-life Royal Flush." A bright blue aura erupted around the kunoichi's fists, a contrast to the deathly calm tone. "Prepare to die."

* * *

"So." The raven haired beauty swirled the sake gently in her saucer, looking into it as if divining the answers to any question. "Madara sent me his favorite lapdog. How... quaint."

If Itachi was insulted or amused by the moniker, no one could tell - the young Uchiha kept his infamous composure well.

"He is wary." The nukenin said simply, nodding slightly.

"Sending you here...?" The said, waving her hand in a dismissive gesture. "He's insulting, not wary. The far more interesting matter is to whom he is insulting." She leaned her elbow on a comfortable pillow that was _just_ there, exactly where it needed to be, even if it wasn't there before.

Itachi's face remained impassive, the bit of silence on his part might have indicated some thought, however if it was about the fact he didn't notice the pillow appearing out of thin air, as it seemed to have always been there or about the nature of the question was hard to tell. For most, at least.

Sasuke could read her one-time brother with almost ridiculous ease born from decades of rather bloody obsession with utter destruction of the man. Only, to her bitter disappointment, to find less than a man in place of a larger than life epitome of evil she constructed in her mind and nowhere near the sense of accomplishment when her long quest ended with a squeak of a rat than a glorious fanfare of victory.

And she reprized it many, many a time to make sure. That old, hollow feeling of being cheated out of the conclusion of her obsession... oh, she knew it _well_.

Her hate wasn't spent, oh no. Nowadays, however, its direction and form were far different, honed in a way only experience could. She was older, wiser and far more at ease with herself. Almost disturbingly so, according to certain blond demon containers but it was Naruto's chagrin and Sasuke's amusement.

Though if one was to be honest, Sasuke was quite sure that Naruto's indignant exasperation was a classic case of protesting a wee bit too much. But then they had many of those little quirks over the years - they kept life... interesting.

Besides...

She smiled under her breath, a tinge of deeply rooted satisfaction almost palpable in her eyes. Reasons and sources of said satisfaction were better left unnamed as long as the doors were open and company was about. But then, the night was still young and Hana just might be mellow enough to drop her 'lady doth protest too much' routine.

But until then she was going to amuse herself and let that old, acidic viciousness bubble out and singe the other Uchiha where it hurt. That her one-time brother wasn't the focus of her hatred anymore didn't mean she wasn't going to enjoy breaking the supposedly grand monolith known as Uchiha Itachi for her satisfaction - one chip at a time. She might have been older, she might have been wiser - but in the end it only made her that much more vicious.

"Think whatever you wish." Itachi said dispassionately.

"Why, how _gracious_ of you." she smiled mockingly, taking a sip of sake. "Be careful, boya. Someone might mistake you for a gentleman at this rate."

Itachi seemed to ignore the mocking tone completely, nodding once.

"My organization wishes to know of your intentions." He said calmly.

"Ah, that vaunted 'organization' of yours." Sasuke sighed. "Here I thought you were supposed to be interesting, and there you go and switch back to that boring routine. Shameless."

Itachi quirked an eyebrow slightly as he felt the air thicken with killer intent for a moment. It was brief, fleeting and lasted less than a second, but for a moment it felt like the air around them became washed out of color, save for the woman sitting in front of him.

How much of it was genjutsu and how much just pure anger Itachi couldn't discern, but whatever it was, it felt heavy, malicious and almost acidic.

Just as abruptly as it appeared it was gone, leaving behind a scent of cherries and grass, oddly enough, with faint smell of burning candles and lilting note of some song that seemed to form the background together with some hushed voices and whispers.

"To be honest, I have no interest in a bunch of blind led by a one-eyed shadow." She waved her hand dismissively.

The corners of Itachi's lips twitched a bit, a faint smile appearing on his face.

"They say that in the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king." He said mildly.

"King?" She chuckled mockingly. "Then the realm he rules is poor indeed, yet so very fitting - filled with nothing but the blind and easily misled."

"Should I take it as an answer to my question?" The renegade asked, rising an eyebrow questioningly.

It was, to Sasuke's amusement, the single most expressive grimace Itachi made, even counting the faint smile form before. Itachi was weird that way. But then, so was she. That was precisely why she preferred to smile anyway.

"I don't know." A faint look of amusement grew predatory, the unnaturally long canines glinting in the candle light. "Should you?"

The other Uchiha looked for a long moment, before blinking once.

"I see." He said calmly, nodding and closing his eyes briefly. "Then there is no other way at this point." Despite the deadpan disappointment, there was a faintest trace of a pleased note in the man's voice. If she had to guess, she would even hazard as to why.

The shinobi's eyes opened, the glaring red veins, like cracks, overtaking the eye as the Mangekyo manifested, the table and the inner chamber of ryokan dissolving as a slab of rock rose form the murky depths of a small lake, the restraints snapping over the kunoichi's arms.

Sasuke raised an eyebrow slowly.

"My my, how kinky." She said with amsuement. "A bit simplistic, but at least you begin to show some personality."

"It is regrettable," a number of Itachi replicas chorused, all carrying the same, faint look of disappointment, "to use such methods, but I need the answers to my questions."

Sasuke smirked, ignoring the group of Itachi-clones drawing their swords completely.

"'My questions'?" She said. "Well, now we're going somewhere, aren't we, boy? But do you even know what 'your' questions are?"

"I am sorry but I have no time for games anymore." The katana held by the nearest clone rose, before sinking into flesh with almost surgical precision.

A strangled gasp left the woman's mouth.

"This is the example of Tsukuyomi's ultimate power, the world where time and space is completely at my control." Itachi looked on impassively. "You know of it, no doubt. There is no need for further-" The nukenin paused, interrupted by another gasp. Then another.

It took him a moment, to realize that it wasn't a gasp of pain, but a snicker. A snicker that turned into full blown, loud laughter.

"Complete control?" Sasuke's whole body was shaking as she kept on laughing madly. "'Ultimate power'?" She looked up with a sneer.

Itachi's could only stare as the blood seeping from the wound seemed to come alive, coating the weapon speared through the woman's abdomen. The illusionary clone didn't even have time to let go if it before the red and black substance swallowed him whole.

"You..." Itachi's eyes widened a fraction as the woman's voice came from under the dripping blood. With a wet squelch, the fluid coalesced, against all laws of physics, flowing and forming an undeniably feminine silhouette. "who is little more than a puppet eaten alive by his own strengths, who doesn't even know the deeper arcana of his art...!" the raven strands, still wet with blood, scattered around her, showering the water with droplets of red that started to dissolve, lending water their crimson hue.

"You dare to throw around such words like 'ultimate power'?" The fangs glinted, a long, languid hiss accompanying the opening eyes. "WHELP!" She snarled "Know your place!"

The stone the kunoichi was previouslu crucified to sank almost soundlessly, the ripples made by its passing reaching out, the clones of Itachi freezing in place, and opening their mouths in a soundless scream before twisting violently and dissolving into blood-red fluid as they fell apart.

"You think that Mangekyo of yours is so high and mighty?" Itachi took an unconscious step back, only to hit something solid. He wasn't given even enough time to check as the vines sprouted out - or through - the stone, binding his arms and legs as tightly as any shackles ever did, the thorns biting in greedily.

"You think that it allows you to fly so high above the reach of 'normal' shinobi?" She asked mockingly, sitting back without care, the pillow - the very same pillow he remembered form that illusionary inn - catching her. "'Ultimate power'. Feh." She extended her hand, a dark-haired, shapely servant with feather-like hair pouring sake to the saucer. "Seriously."

The familiar, cherry scent filled his nostrils, the dripping sound of water mingling with the song that seemed to scratch at the edges of his memory in an odd way.

"You see, while flying is nice, the best rice grows on the ground." She swirled her sake, looking into it thoughtfully. "And without good rice, you can't have good sake. You can't drink, unless your feet are on the ground."

"Indeed... it seems foolish in rertrospect." Itachi bowed his head slightly. "To match one Mangekyo's power against another was foolish in that regard."

"Mangekyo?" Sasuke snorted, leaning on her. "As if I needed something pathetic like that. Are you really striving so hard to be one of the citizens of that kingdom of the blind, boy?" She leaned back, lazily rising her saucer to have it refilled by the maid. "Well, I guess since you blind yourself willingly like that..."

The renegade blinked once.

The Tsukuyomi was the ultimate example of genjutsu. As far as he knew there was no way to beat it - unless one had Mangekyo, as Madara had proven. The speed and the complexity of the illusion ensured that there was no direct way of beating it other than with another sufficiently evolved Sharingan.

But then... there was only one Uchiha with a 'sufficiently evolved' Sharingan he met until now and he really had no comparison.

"...kingdom of the blind." He murmured, a thin smile appearing on his face as his eyes closed for a moment. "Fitting. But that means that..." the Sharingan in his eyes twisted, the familiar shape of Mangekyo spinning in the bloodshot eyes yet again. "I also have cards left to play."

The Mangekyo spun once, the illusionary world of Tsukuyomi sliding away like a curtain, revealing the moonlit chamber.

The woman said nothing, still sitting in the very same position as before.

"Fu fu fu..." The fangs glinted in a lazy smirk. "Do you really?"

Itachi blinked, before strangling a scream as his eyes started burning with pain, followed by his body.

"Illusions..." he struggled for breath, even as he fellt o his knee before the stone throne. "can't...!"

"Actually, they can but in your case, you were dead the moment you came here." The elegant hand reached and the overpowering smell of cherries hit Itachi again, mingling with soft tones of the strangely familiar song yet again. Itachi looked upwards at the smiling silhouette, with hair like raven's feathers pouring the alcohol to the kunoichi's saucer yet again. "Or even before."

Itachi's knees hit the carpet of cherry blossom petals even as understanding dawned.

The Uchiha renegade stared at the pale beauty for a long moment, before his lips twitched, a strangled gasp escaping his throat. It took Sasuke a moment to understand that the bizarre sound was, of all things, laughter.

The genius bowed his head once, a small smirk on his lips.

"I see." He murmured. "My thanks, my lady. I will darken your chamber no longer. But then..." the corners of his lips twitched. "I never did in the first place, did I?"

"Hmm... who would have thought... he can learn!" The kunoichi said with genuine amusement. "You are too stiff, boy. Unless you let the sword rest it will become dull and break."

"Ah." The other Uchiha nodded. "I see."

"Instead of seeing go and do something about it. Getting laid works wonders for one's stress threshold." The kunoichi let the saucer in her hands dissolve even as Itachi fell back on the cherry blossom carpet, the Sharingan in his eyes spinning slowly.

With the last bit of his strength, his eyes darted towards the woman on the throne, the Uchiha bloodlimit piercing through paper-thin layer of illusion.

The onyx eyes looked back at him unflinchingly as the crimson faded.

"...I see now." Itachi chuckled softly, the Sharingan dying as chakra finally ran out. "Forgive my... intrusion." He whispered as the poison finally finished its job.

The woman waved her hand lazily, the wind picking up, covering the corpse in pale pink, poisoned petals even as the pale skin receded to give way to the healthy, golden tan and the face softened, changing its inhumanly attractive, predatory features to softer, if just as attractive ones.

"Apology accepted." She murmured, leaning back slightly to look at the brightly shining moon, only to cough and lower her head immediately, the two tracks of red falling down rapidly, only to be stopped by a small white scarf which soon started to become dark red.

The kunoichi grimaced, looking at her stained fingers as the blood soaked through the scarf. "Hu hu... seems like that is... my limit." She muttered, feeling as the familiar, numb feeling overtook her senses. "Even when it was only... a simple reversal...?" Sasuke winced a bit as a spike of migraine hit her. "...tch!"

* * *

Step. Cut back.

Duck.

Again.

The opaque crimson blade whined in protest, clashing with Samehada, before digging into nearby wall just before it exploded, throwing them back.

'...so. A question of the... month!' Naruto somehow didn't lose his balance, instead using a sizable piece of wood that used to be a part of the ceiling several jutsu and two devastating punches ago to ride down over the rubble. His control sucked, but with enough power one could cheat as all get out. 'Did plaster and...'

He somersaulted off the wood, desperately cutting through a massive wood beam that was chucked at him from below. 'splinters become-' The blond spun, using the wood he was cutting to redirect his descent from a pile of unstable rubble to some nice, clean ground.

'became part of my die-' His eyes widened a fraction as he noticed the wall teetering on the edge of his supposed 'safe zone'. His sword dug into the ground with a shriek, slowing his descent as he landed, sliding further and further back, the armored gauntlet digging into the ground desperately.

'OhshiohshitohsSHIIIIII-!'

The gravel whispered as the energy was spent as the jinchuuriki came to a full stop.

The blue eyes looked cautiously up at the crumbling wall that was about to fall.  
A wooden beam teetered on the edge... and with a groan slid back, the entire construction settled down.

Naruto let out a long, shuddering breath he didn't even realize he was holding. he was tough and normally one measly wall was just painful but it so happened that that one, measly wall was what stood between him and that nice, two story building falling right on top of his head. He liked his head where it was, preferably not as a red smear.

Besides, Sasuke would kill him if he screwed up! Or worse.

"...lady luck, you earned yourself a big, huge-" He paused, blinking as the wall groaned before exploding and showering him with splinters and plaster. Naruto looked up to see the undeniably pissed, immaculately clean (a minor miracle considering the amount of various debris being kicked around currently, but then he strongly suspected some Ancient Medic Nin Secret - it was just so like Tsunade to make a jutsu for vanity's sake alone) Tsunade walking - or rather stalking - towards him, her two fists blazing.

"Bad Benten! Bad!" he muttered. "You're _so_ getting the couch this time, baby." He turned to Tsunade, staring at her contemplatively for a moment, before looking up at the decidedly unstable and crumbling roof.

"Did it, by any chance, come to your attention that you just took out one of the main support walls of this building? As in, you know, ones that hold it together so it doesn't fall onto our heads turning us into..." A large chunk of roof groaned before falling down like, more or less, ton of bricks, only to explode into rain of wood and stone. "...pieces." Naruto trailed off, as the blonde juggernaut didn't even slow down her purposeful gait. "Ah. Right. Silly me."

The blue glow around the genius medic's fists escalated.

"...that's going to hurt, won't it?" Naruto asked with a sigh.

Tsunade smirked, cocking her fist back.

"Do I at least get some candy?" He asked hopefully.

The blonde paused, staring at the armored silhouette. The genius medic's eyebrows rose up as she gave him an incredulous stare.

"Come on, don't be stingy! Give me some sugar, baby!" The jinchuuriki whined, his eyes wide and moist in a classic puppy-eyed look - though in retrospect, he had to admit that those goggles complicated things. otherwise he was sure as hell he'd have succeeded!

The blazing chakra became nothing less than a raging corona of power as she raised her fist with a snarl, only to stop as the oversized, scaled blade caused her to step back and side-step a thrust from the very-same weapon.

The chakra-empowered fist and the Samehada met with a crackle of power, the sheer force against force, power against power.

"Hey now..." Kisame grinned widely, despite his arms shaking under the raw power he had to block. "Don't you go stealin' other's people prey, eh?"

"You." Tsunade growled, taking a step back, before letting a mighty uppercut. "OUT OF MY WAY!"

Kisame barely had time to bring his sword up before he was sent sailing upwards. But Tsunade wasn't done, launching herself up wit ha half-spin, her elbow almost meeting the shark-nin's ribcage head on, followed by a nasty side chop and a haymaker that connected with Samehada, the air wavering for a moment, Kisame flying out and breaking clean through nearby wall.

For a moment, there was nothing but a dust cloud, that cleared rather quickly in the coastal breeze, revealing the Samehada, halfway buried in the pile of wood and stone. Kisame coughed, rising himself from the ground shakily.

"...whoa." He muttered, smacking his head once, before wincing and hacking out a bit of dust. "...fuckin' gills..."

"You know, _he_ was the one making the waves." Naruto pointed out helpfully. Blame it on someone else no jutsu - he was the master of it since he was five. It even worked. Sometimes.

A haymaker turned the wall the blond was leaning on to gravel as the blond dodged for his life desperately.

Kisame chuckled weakly.

"Sucks to be you." he smirked, forcing his sword out of the rubble pile, only to blink as a large chunk of wall flew at him with speed usually reserved for ninja weaponry. That it outweighed kunai by an absurd margin didn't seem to make any difference at all.

It was only because he was already leaning down to grip the sword tighter that Kisame managed to only get his cloak ripped instead of his head pulverized.

"Sucks to be... who now?" Naruto panted, pushing a bit more of chakra through the ruby blade as he lashed out at the medic, only to wince as the sword shook, his arm feeling the backlash as it seemed to just... stop. "...huh?" He blinked, staring at the sword, then at the open palm that was blocking it. "...uh, shouldn't that... cut?" he made a tiny sawing motion. The blade moved, leaving no mark on the blonde's palm.

"The fuck you're doing?" Kisame frowned. "Cut her, for god's sake!"

"I am _trying_ but..." Tsunade's nasty smirk widened a fraction. " it seems I am having some technical difficulties here." Tsunade's smirk was becoming toothier by the minute. It was both sexy and really, really damn fucking scary. It reminded him far too much of Sasuke when the bastard had one of 'those' ideas.

'Screw this!' he thought with panic, turning to perform a strategic retreat 'I'm outta-' he paused, noticing that he didn't seem to move. Or rather that his body did, but his sword somehow... didn't. In fact it stayed all but glued to the kunoichi's hand. "oh. shit."

Tsunade smiled sweetly.

"I'm going to give it all to you... 'baby'." Her voice was like silk, and for a split second, Naruto didn't know if to be really turned on or really damn scared.

Then he really didn't have time or capacity to know anything, besides the fact the world saw fit to turn upside down and like a jealous lover, had stolen all the air from his lungs accompanied in the company of some really nasty cracks.

He didn't even feel the wall he hit as he was sent flying, which was a blessing considering it was actually made rather solidly and oak was rather sturdy.

'...count... small... blessings...' He thought groggily. Though it could be worse - it could have been stone. "Good oak... sofffft 'ak... gunna plant some oak w'n 'm gunna get home..." Naruto slurred, patting his hands around, looking for some purchase to crawl up, only to resign a moment later. He didn't quite know where was up at this particular moment anyway.

Kisame didn't know if to wince or chuckle at the other swordsman.

"Man, that was really pathetic." He said finally, taking in the sorry state of his previous opponent.

"Oh fuck you, Kisame." Naruto grumbled, finally feeling the horizon arranging itself. with some black spots at the edges of his vision and the glorious pain of ribs doing the macarena instead of just sitting where they should, but he was standing at least. Somewhat "Fuck you."

The shark nin smirked, hefting his sword.

"Well, so far you're the only one getting fucked around here, chump." He wiped the blood from his lips, wincing inwardly. He fought some good taijutsu specialists before, but that woman was impossible. Just a few blows, some of them didn't even hit fully, and he could feel the damage all over.

"Still... gotta say... after seeing Orochimaru, I thought the Sannin were just a bunch of has-beens, but that woman..." he trailed off, his grin widening. "Shame about the circumstances but I can still have some fun, eh?" he nukenin shook Samehada off of the gravel, spinning it over his head.

"Come on, then, princess!" He said cracking his neck, his fingers starting to move in seals. "Let's get this-"

The honey brown eyes narrowed. Kisame's widened.

"Let's not." The medic nin snapped, and Kisame hissed out as a vicious palm strike almost crippled his left hand.

"...sonova-!" he snarled, bringing his sword down at the medic who - instead of evading - just took the weapon head on, blocking it with one arm.

The large ninja stared dumbly as the scales, instead of ripping into flesh greedily, just seemed to settle on the skin, doing nothing more than pressing on it a bit. No dent, no cut - not even a scrape.

"...what the-?!" he stammered out, before being sent flying.

"That sword of yours is a chakra absorbing weapon, isn't it?" Tsunade said, cracking her knuckles as she advanced on groggy, disoriented Kisame. "I felt it the moment you hit me. A good weapon but..."

The Kiri renegade cursed, barely blocking a vicious haymaker.

"...useless when someone can control their chakra to prevent anything it can latch on." Kisame staggered back. "And when someone has enough knowledge to send out a pulse of chakra that matches the exact amount of power used to activate it and its ability..."

Kisame froze, staring as the scales on Samehada trembled, before cracking.

"...then that weapon's attack is useless as well." Tsunade smirked, looking up at Kisame, who was staring at her with disbelief.

"And when one has enough strength...!" The genius medic smirked, cocking her fist back, her feet planted firmly.

To be honest, Kisame wouldn't be able to tell afterwards just how powerful the strike was. Contrary to the ones before, it didn't send him flying - the force behind the blow was just so incredibly controlled and focused it was almost inhuman.

His arms snapped, even the chakra-enhanced, almost impossibly tough cartilage not able to withstand the raw force behind the blow. But Kisame barely noticed, staring dumbly at his blade.

"Toys will remain toys." Tsunade's smirk widened a fraction as, with a soft groan, Samehada's blade developed a long crack in the middle. Then another. And another. "And toys..." With a shudder, the blade broke. "are easily broken."

The Kiri nukenin just stared with disbelief at the sad remains of his weapon, before doubling over as the chakra scalpel he didn't notice before finished its job.

He looked up at Tsunade, utter disbelief in his eyes.

"Breaking... Samehada... with bare hands?" he wheezed out, looking at her incredulously. "What... the hell... are... you...?" The renegade fell face first into rubble among the remains of his sword, a small cloud of dust the only sign of his passing.

"Haaaa..." The blonde stretched, exhaling loudly, before straightening again slowly cracking her head from side to side, loosening her stiff neck muscles.

Naruto stared at the corpse for a moment, before biting his lip and vanishing in a swirl of dust.

It took all of his self control not to gasp as he hit the wall a good few dozen meters away, coming out of his unstable shunshin.

For a moment, the vents of the mask were stained red.

'Internal... damage... shit but... she hits hard.' He wiped the blood away, using a brief fuuton ninjutsu, grimacing at the rich, coppery taste. 'Wonderful. Fuckin' wonderful.' He winced, watching as the ruby blade wavered monetarily. 'And to add an insult to injury my chakra's getting low after fighting that freak and boosting up Raika. Dammit, what a blunder. It really cost me too much power but... who could expect something like it? To stop a chakra blade with both 'cutting' and 'piercing' characteristics with only bare hand and chakra control... to think something like that was even possible... she really is on a whole other level, that woman.'

"And where do you think you're going?"

Naruto cursed, his head darting up at the familiar silhouette standing over him.

"...how the-?!" He backpedaled, a hammer punch missing him by a hair's breath. It didn't matter anyway as the earth exploded, bombarding him with rocks and dirt, causing him to half-stagger, half-slide back under the onslaught.

"Next time you try to run, try turning that thing off." She smirked, dusting off her hands.

"...heh." Naruto chuckled, wincing as the shattered ribs reminded him that it wasn't such a good idea. "Felt the chakra signature, huh? I guess that's top medical genius' senses for you."

"Well I would, but aside from that, it kind of glows. Brightly." Tsunade deadpanned.

Naruto blinked owlishly, looking at the crimson, cheerfully pulsing blade with occasional bright red spark erupting over it.

"Oh." he said eloquently, only to curse and stagger back as he blocked a punch.

'Shit!' The jinchuuriki gritted his teeth. 'It is good Raika is so oversized and wide. It allows me to defend by body easily, even if attacking is difficult. But there is more than one way to skin a cat!' He side-stepped a straight punch, letting Tsunade's fist slide over the blade before nudging the edge just a tiny bit up and pushing it forward. The blade crackled, burning through the fabric as it bit into the medic's side. 'YES!'

...only to stop.

"Huh?" Naruto blinked. "...the hell?!"

"You think that only my hands can stop it?" A vicious palm strike caused him to gasp and scream as he was sent flying. "You don't learn well, do you?" Tsunade briefly eyed a long, blackened cut at the side of her shirt, and Naruto simply stared, noticing absolutely unblemished skin under it. "Something like that can't cut me!" She smirked, stomping so hard a section of the floor rose, kicking it at him before it had a chance to fall.

'Fuck! How the hell?!' Naruto's mind was moving a mile a second. 'Don't panic! Don't fucking panic! Think! She said chakra pulse but-!' He ducked, desperately trying to avoid another punch, only to earn a kick that sent him flying for his trouble. 'Screw this! I can't fight like this!'

A seal later, the familiar rush of shunshin swallowed him... only to break and leave him stopped cold mid-stride as the kunoichi's hand held his shoulder in a vice-like grip.

'Shunshin... she grabbed me out of shunshin...!' Naruto thought dumbly. 'But that's just not-!'

"Running somewhere?" Tsunade purred with a raised eyebrow. "Didn't you want a piece of me, boy? Here, have some!"

Naruto's mouth opened in a soundless scream, but all that came out was a hiss, accompanied by a crunch of breaking and cracking bones. Or maybe it was the roof - he wasn't quite sure since he broke through it at the same time and all.

"Psssh." The blonde sneered, cracking her knuckles as she looked through the hole she made with the young ninja's body. "Stamina problems? You have no endurance at all." She smirked, stomping her foot and kicking a large chunk of debris towards the abused silhouette.

Naruto grunted, rolling under the projectile and trying not to wince when it punched a sizable hole through the wall, only to curse and run out - or rather hobble out really damn fast considering his condition - as the building fell down on itself like a house of cards.

"...oh fuck me..." he muttered, blinking. "What the fuck is this... a fight or a goddamn wholesale landscaping?!" he exclaimed with disbelief. "...hey." The jinchuuriki frowned. "Wasn't she on _top_ of that-" he paused, face - or rather mask - palming as the familiar blonde figure stalked out of the huge dust cloud, a little dirty with her clothes a little worse for wear but otherwise unhurt. "Oh for the love of-!" Naruto whined. "Come ON! That's just not fair!"

Tsunade didn't bother to comment, the corona of power over her fists blazing to life yet again.

'...gonnadiegonnadiegonnadie...!' Naruto looked around desperately, looking for some sort of advantage, no matter how trivial as he raised the sword into the defensive position, only to blink as one of the countless small discharges ran over the blade.

'Wait. Chakra pulse of the exact same amount do nullify but-' He paused. 'But that is with the constant output. But this weapon... it still carries both mine and Sasuke's affinities! That means it can jump from one to other!' He realized, thinking a mile a second. 'The timing would be critical, but she can block only _one_ chakra type at the time! Meaning if I add another...! Fuck, it will cost me most of my remaining power, but this... this just can work!'

Despite the pain, pain and danger, he could feel the familiar spark welling deep inside him. overpowered, outclassed, and alone...

"Who the fuck CARES?!" The blond grinned, letting the remaining power gather in his hands, a faint wave of power scraping to shake the dust off of his armor.

Tsunade's eyebrows rose as the wavering crimson blade exploded with raw power, ceasing to waver, instead vibrating with the chakra pumped into it, the hum becoming a purring growl.

"You are really stubborn, aren't you?" She asked with amusement. "Do you think simply using more power will work?"

Naruto said nothing, letting the chakra burn in his body, ignoring pain and exhaustion.

"Fool but..." She shook her head with amusement, taking a stance. "I acknowledge it, that determination of yours! COME!"

The blond snarled, the sparks shrieking to life with re-doubled intensity.

Tsunade's eyes widened as the blade, from the ruby-red, started to change tinge into deep purple shine, the lightning crackling over it now without a pause.

Just as she noticed that, Naruto exploded forward with a howl, swinging the pulsing edge at her.

The flesh and growling chakra met.

* * *

Sasuke stretched, rising from her throne.

"Well, that's enough time wasted, I think." She murmured. "The recuperation can wait until we're back at the Golden Sparrow."

She frowned, looking at the sakura-covered corpse, before grimacing.

"Cheap, brother-dear. Really cheap." she sniffed, turning on her heel only to freeze and fall to her knees as a strong wave of vertigo hit her. "...what...?" She gasped, her eyes widening as a sharp pain ran through her body, followed by a wet cough. "...what in the world...?" She whispered, looking at the bood dripping from her mouth. "What is-" Another cough shook her body, blood splattering on her yukata even as a strange, burning spike ignited in her solar plexus. "...guuuh...!"

She slammed her fist repeatedly on the floor, trying to get her bearings, leaving her knuckles bruised and bleeding. Sasuke didn't care at this point.

"...that... FOOL!" Sasuke-chan gasped. "I told him...!" Ignoring the pain, she dragged herself up, using the nearby wall to do so. "That crazy idiot...! What the hell... are you doing...?!"

She fell on one knee, her legs too shaky to hold her, and bit her lip angrily, drawing blood.

"...I can't do... anything like this...! See what you have done...?!" The neo-girl gasped out, leaning back as a stream of blood from her bit lip slid down to her abdomen. "...tch. No way around it, then..." She muttered, closing her eyes and performing several seals with shaking palms.

The butterfly-like symbol on her chest glowed briefly, before vanishing.

"Mistress...!" The tiny kunoichi shot out of the small cloud of smoke so fast she was nothing more than a blur. "Mistress, you need to-!"

"Get Keisei and go help that idiot!"

"But mistress-!" The tiny warrior fretted.

"Go!" Sasuke slammed her hand down to the floor, cracking the tiles. "GO NOW!"

The tiny kunoichi bowed her head low, biting her lip.

"As you command." She barked out, vanishing in a swirl of shunshin.

"...stubborn idiots... goddess, but I am surrounded by stubborn idiots." Sasuke muttered, leaning on the wall and closing her eyes. "Naruto, you moron..." She murmured tiredly. "What the hell are you thinking...?"

* * *

"Two types of chakra." The muscles danced under the milky skin. "To cycle between them constantly... that wasn't a bad plan. You have much more skill than I suspected, but in the end..." The violet weapon crackled once, before whining in protest as the blade diminished, wavering and pulsing madly. "It was useless."

Naruto stared, wide-eyed as his weapon was all but coming apart at the seams under the ever-growing pressure of the fist pressing at it.

"H.. how...?" He wheezed out with disbelief. "That switch... should have... neutralized that pulse of... yours!"

"This weapon... it is Raijin, isn't it?" Tsunade smirked. "Did you know? Raijin is the Senju Clan weapon."

With a loud, almost mournful crackle, the blade collapsed under the force of the punch, the beam of focused chakra shattering into numerous irregular sparks as Jinchuuriki was sent flying.

"For me, Raijin has no secrets." The kunoichi stalked slowly towards the groggy blond. "You aren't bad, but using that weapon was like giving me the advantage from the very start. It can't cut me. It can't hurt me. It can't so much a slow me down even if I let it." She flexed her fingers a few times. "Because of that old blood of the Forest, Raijin no Ken recognizes only one master. And that's SENJU!" She cocked her fist back, before punching the faltering mockery of the blade.

"...that's... nice.. but..."

Tsunade stared in astonishment as the crimson blade reformed, pushing her punch back.

"That girl... ain't Raijin...!" The crimson sword blazed yet again, if shorter and smaller than before. "That's Raika!" Naruto snarled, pushing back. "And she's MINE!"

"Call it whatever you want." Chakra spiked over Tsunade's fingers as she grabbed the pulsing blade I will still..." the energy blade wavered, twisting, before exploding around her hand and doubling in size.

Naruto stared dumbly as the sword seemed, to, of all things, stretch, before growing yet again, only to falter as a feeling of vertigo hit him.

"What the...?" he gritted out, feeling as the weapon mercilessly pulled at his chakra.

"...hell?!" Tsunade snapped, trying to pull her arm back.

With almost sick fascination, the two shinobi observed as the bluish burst of chakra met the crimson one on a pace that seemed almost lazy, yet was too fast for either of them to do anything but watch.

For the briefest of moments, the blue overcame the red, almost seeming to suffocate it until the whole energy blade was nothing but azure with occasional freckles of washed out cherry.

Naruto's eyes opened wide, his whole body stiffening.

A second later, Tsunade's arm shook as Raika's hilt started to vibrate, steam exploding from its ends with a loud hiss, followed by a screech.

The azure faltered and then the red hue darkened, coiling like an animal.

Naruto could feel it. that familiar buzz in his veins, the spike of pure rage, of red fury and savage joy boiling...

Tsunade shuddered, before faltering and screaming.

A raw, primal scream of unadulterated pain as the hungry red all but swallowed her arm whole, snuffing out her powerful, perfectly controlled chakra like a candle.

The energy ripped at the medic's flesh with almost gleeful abandon, engulfing her limb in a pocket of volatile chakra that sank into her like teeth, both into flesh and into her chakra coils alike.

Naruto paled, grabbing the hilt of his weapon and trying to drag it away from Tsunade by force, but it was no use His palm was open but the sword just didn't budge. He wasn't channeling any chakra at all, and yet the energy still poured regardless.

'That's impossible!' He thought with panic. 'Kyuuubi's dormant and can't channel power unless the seal lets it, so how the fuck does it-' He froze, staring at his sword, then at Tsunade's arm. Arm that was, despite being devoured, whole and...

The jinchuuriki blinked.

"...are those claws...?"

Tsunade's head darted up and the now-slit pupils glinted, eyes narrowed as she growled, showing off a nice set of rather sizable fangs in her mouth.

The crimson hue at her arm, coiled, as if wounded and Naruto froze, screaming in pain as the tendril snapped away from the kunoichi only to explode, throwing them both away from each other.

But at that point he was beyond caring or feeling that little tap compared to the raw fountain of pain that erupted in his head. It was burning. It was hurt. It was angry it-

Naruto's red slitted pupils met Tsunade's own amber ones.

It really wanted to tear something apart.

* * *

A pebble, once a part of a wall, danced over the wooden beam, bouncing off the wet wood and sinking down into mud below almost without a sound.

Shizune landed on the beam softly, using chakra to avoid slipping on the wet surface.

"This is..." The young kunoichi looked over the pile of rubble with unreadable expression, combing her wet hair away from her forehead for the second time in as many minutes.

The small drizzle that started shortly before turned into strong rain.

'Though it isn't a bad thing.' The young medic thought absently, observing the ruined buildings. 'At least there will be no risk of fire in that kind of rain.'

Somersaulting, she allowed the gravity to carry her down, letting the chakra in her feet cushion the fall to avoid sinking into a mix of plaster, dirt and gravel that turned into treacherous, sticky mud.

She inspected the completely ruined street numbly. It was half instinct half pure fear that caused her to not only usher away the people from the casino, but also force the rest of the bystanders to run. Though she had to admit once the fighting started the people really didn't need any encouragement. If anything, she had to use Kage Bunshin to slow the small but terrified mob down to direct them in any semblance of order.

'Three ninja did this... only three people.' She touched a nearby wall - the only remnant of a solid, two story building that used to stand there - and blinked as it crumbled under her fingers, finally falling down with a groan. 'Just three people.' A bit of hysteric chuckle escaped from her throat despite her best intentions. 'That's... that's just ridiculous.'

And in some ways, it was. Half of the district was just... gone. Granted, it wasn't a big district, but...

She was a medic. In her time with Tsunade, she had seen a lot of things. While the older kunoichi loudly proclaimed she was done with anything ninja related, they none the less traveled many paths, seen a lot of things, and even weathered a few small local wars. Though one thing Shizune learned then was that when people decided to kill each other in groups, it was never 'small', no matter how few of them there were. The suffering was just the same, only the scale changed.

She had seen towns hit by strife before. Hell, she might have been a little girl then, but she had remembered the aftermath of the last Shinobi War well enough! Blown up buildings, burned out husks of houses... yes, all of that and more.

But this went beyond that.

Half of the district was just gone. There was nothing to salvage, nothing to rebuild - it was just one, big pile of wood, stone and paper, with craters littering the countryside in almost every direction.

She knew that kind of damage. Or she thought she did. She had seen it dealt out in one of Tsunade's tantrums when her mentor's volatile temper was aroused, but... it was usually a broken door, sometimes a table. Once or twice a collapsed wall. The sheer magnitude of overkill in this place, however, was just... absurd.

If Shizune didn't see it with her own eyes, she'd swear a small army was waging a war here. But she couldn't deny her eyes.

The kunoichi shuddered, biting her lip. She didn't see much - she was too busy both ushering people away and patching the wounded but even those scraps she had managed to catch...

She had grown up hearing stories about Sannin's prowess - how could she not? They were Konoha's heroes, among the strongest ninja of their era, and her uncle was going to marry one of them. She had always heard those stories, those almost impossible, larger than life stories of the great Tsunade-hime, princess of the forest, the woman who could heal mortally wounds with a touch and rip an army apart with her bare hands a second later. The strongest kunoichi, the queen of the battlefield.

She knew them to be true, but at some level - even after seeing her mentor's occasional destructive flares of temper - it still seemed just like the fairy tale. Something you remember fondly from childhood and smile thinking about, but then move on to more 'real' things.

On this day, however, she could see it. She could see all those stories brought to life before her very eyes and, for the first time in her life, be completely, unflinchingly sure that people telling those stories didn't exaggerate one bit.

Shizune's fists clenched, and she noted with surprise she was shaking a bit, and not from the cold.

She didn't know if it was from fear... or excitement.

To be honest, at this point, she didn't know which was which. At the end of the fight the killer intent started to grow and spike all over the place, strong enough for even civilians to notice.

Taken by surprise for a moment Shizune thought she'd suffocate until she brought her rattled nerves together. The feeling was raw, savage, aggressive... and almost disturbingly familiar.

She shook her head, dismissing the memory as she nimbly navigated the smashed streets.

"Tsunade-sama... where _are_ you...?" muttered the young medic with frustration as she jumped on a roof of one of the few intact buildings left.

She didn't believe that Tsunade lost. Couldn't. Even if not for a fact that she was sure her mentor had an advantage the last she saw it, she didn't doubt for a minute Tsunade had won. She was Tsunade. She might lose fortune at gambling, she might be the legendary sucker losing any kind of wager, but on the battlefield or in the operating room, she won. That was how it was. It was Shizune's personal law of nature that she believed with almost religious certainty.

"Ahhh dammit! Where could she-"

"Here."

The young medic yelped, turning so fast she almost got a whiplash, only to blink.

Her mentor was half sitting, half standing, her back propped on a broken piece of wood that once had to be a column holding a ceiling or something equally heavy. One of her legs was bent, her left hand resting on her knee, while the other was straight, propped on a piece of stone in a comfortable position. Her head was slightly bowed, propped on her wrist, the usually neat hairstyle out of her customary ponytails, her blond hair hanging around in a wild, untamed manner, even under the harsh rainfall.

Tsunade's face was a map of scratches and cuts - though from the way they were slowly healing Shizune guessed her teacher had to be using the lesser, non-damaging Souzo Saisei that allowed her to heal wounds on a much slower, but far safer rate that didn't wear out her body.

The rest of her didn't fare any better. Her left arm looked as if it was attacked by some wild animal, but for all the cuts and numerous wounds, it looked positively pristine to the right one, which was...

Shizune blinked owlishly.

'Is that steam...?' She thought dumbly.

Indeed, if her eyes weren't deceiving her, Tsunade-sama's right arm was covered in strange, jagged lacerations that looked like teeth marks but, oddly, weren't bleeding despite their jagged, raw state. They were, on the other hand, steaming like a cup of hot tea.

Her mentor's gray shirt was ripped almost to shreds, the remains tied just enough to cover some of her impressive bust but leaving her stomach bare, displaying a large gash crossing it. Her pants, if one might cal them that anymore, were little more than dirty, dust-matted cutoffs now, and Shizune was surprised that they even held. Her mentor's sandals were a fond memory, leaving her barefoot, though from the looks of it, she didn't seem to mind all that much.

Her legs, despite all the clothing malfunction, did seem to fare far better than her arms, sporting relatively few minor gashes, none of them looking even remotely serious-

Shizune froze, her eyes widening.

"...ah, Tsunade-sama...?" the young medic said, trying to remain calm as she reached for a tissue. "Could you please look away for a moment?"

The blonde looked at her student curiously, for a moment, following the young woman's gaze to her bloodied arm.

"Ah. That." She looked at it contemplatively. 'Don't worry. Most if it isn't mine despite how it looks."

"Tsunade... sama...?" The younger woman trailed off, licking her lips. "But... the blood... I mean your hand, the blood..."

The other kunoichi looked at Shizune oddly, before blinking.

"Oh." She said, turning back to her bloodied arm with bemused look. "Don't worry. It doesn't really... matter." She kept looking at her hand, before absently shaking most of the remaining blood off without care.

She was tired. Her muscles were aching like crazy, her knuckles were protesting about the abuse she put them through after nearly two decades of inactivity, her legs were bitterly reminding her she didn't kick anything bigger than a bar table in a long time - most certainly not solid walls - until today and she might have been just a bit out of practice. Most of all, even as she directed her chakra to heal the impressive array of nicks, cuts and gashes all over her body, each of them was screaming and cursing at her in the ancient language of pain. Pain that was doubled, as the healing process made her twice as sensitive to the whole ordeal than she would have been otherwise.

She'd love nothing more than to get a nice bottle and sit down in some cozy room and allow herself to heal. She felt empty. Spent. And, oddly enough, it was good empty. Not the kind of hopeless, dead-tired post-combat numbness that makes you want to drink to forget, but the clean, pure kind that ebbs away into slow buzz as the adrenaline settles down to quiet simmer with a satisfied sigh.

The anger, that berserk fury - for she couldn't call it any other way - was gone, the red haze lifted, leaving her head clear if a bit numb from the exhaustion.

It was almost cathartic in some odd way.

She flexed her palm a few times, slowly clenching it into a fist and then opening it again.

Her hand flared with pain, but followed like a well-oiled machine, not a hint of a shake or trembling muscle to betray her exhaustion.

"Tsunade-sama?" Shizune looked at her mentor with worry. "Are you all right?"

"You know what Shizune?" the blonde looked at her pupil with a thoughtful frown, getting up from her seat. "I think I am." She stretched, allowing herself a tiny wince as her wounds protested, but ignoring it. "Come on. let's see to the wounded."

"But, Tsunade-sama, you're hurt and-" the younger woman fretted.

"Shizune." The older medic's voice stopped the other kunoichi mid-sentence, and she smiled nervously seeing her mentor's pointedly raised eyebrow.

"Ah, as you say, Tsunade-sama." She agreed meekly.

The genius medic nodded with satisfaction, walking away for the rubble. Her pupil looked at her bruised back covered by the skimpy shreds of material, shaking her head with bemusement.

"Well, Tsunade-sama is Tsunade-sama is Tsunade-sama, I guess." She muttered with a sigh. "No matter what happens, she is still so irresponsible..."

"I heard that!"

* * *

The world came to with a shudder and a wobble, followed by pain.

"...guuh..."

He tried dragging himself upwards as the familiar coppery taste exploded from his mouth, only to find he was already sitting.

'Well, at least I won't choke on my own vomit. Hooray, I guess.' The blond spat the blood weakly, gasping for breath, only to stiffen and hiss as his body spasmed.

"...shit." He raised one trembling arm, only to grimace at the sight of battered, broken and bloodied steel. "Fucking piece... of JUNK!"

He slammed his hand to the ground with the bit of strength he could muster, choking as a spike of pure fire seemed to explode all over his shoulder as the abused gauntlet broke with a groan. Ignoring the pain, the jinchuuriki raised his arm again, staring at the pale skin criss-crossed with numerous burn-like marks that steamed softly in the evening air.

"Rebound... huh?" Naruto let his hand fall again, ignoring the minor momentary spike of pain.

"Forced drain...? Or did it just react to the seal? Mokuton...? Seesh... it was fuckin' absurd... what the hell was that thing-?" His eyes widened and he doubled over, choking out a mouthful of blood.

The boy's vision blurred for a moment, and he faltered, almost slipping off the tree trunk he was propped against, but before he could land into the pool of his own blood a tanned hand stopped his descent gently, redirecting him to something softer and by far more comfortable than a tree trunk, unfastening his broken rebreather along the way.

"Even protecting your internal organs with the chakra shell and you still end up like that..." A loud exhale was followed by a thick cloud of menthol smoke. "Good grief, she's still as absurd as ever."

"So. Saw it, did ya?" Naruto sighed, rising his hand to wipe the blood off his mouth, only to be stopped by a pointed look from two spinning wheels. "...feh. I'm not an invalid. I can move."

"Nine of your wounds would qualify as mortal." Sasuke said mildly, taking a long drag off of her cigarette. "Jinchuuriki or not, most people would be dead by now."

Naruto snorted softly, only to regret it as a loud, wet cough followed, splattering a generous amount of blood over the kunoichi's yukata.

"...sorry." The man wheezed, shaking slightly. "Shit...!"

"Don't worry." A cool hand touched his forehead, and he relaxed as the faint green glow it was enveloped in seemed to seep right into his blood.

"Should I be..." he coughed, wincing as another bit of blood splattered over Sasuke's thigh. "laying like that...?"

"Sorry but... I a bit messed up myself right now." Sasuke leaned back tiredly, "Whatever you did with that sword backlashed at one point. I forced myself to move to get you out so I need a moment." She frowned, the tip of her cigarette burning brightly for a moment as she took a long drag. "Seesh. That mermaid of yours is really stubborn."

"Huh?" Naruto look up blearily.

"I wanted her to get there to back you up or get you out, but it was useless." Sasuke paused, her frown deepening. "Though she _did_ find you pretty quickly. Useful, that."

Naruto chuckled weakly, stopping abruptly as a series of coughs caused him spit more blood.

"She's really awesome that way." he wheezed out.

"Like the sword?" Sasuke snarked. one eyebrow raised.

"Ouh. Now that... hurt." Naruto murmured, trying to pout.

"Well, that's good. It hurt me as well." She flicked the remains of her cigarette, before grabbing another and lighting it almost as soon as the old one fell to the ground. "What the hell were you thinking you moron? Didn't I tell you? Doing something like that using a half-assed copy you did on a pleasure cruise... are you out of your fucking mind? That thing could have just blown right into your face for all you knew!"

"It isn't a... thing. She's... Raika." He unclenched his right hand, letting the black hilt criss-crossed with faint crimson vein-like marks roll onto Sasuke's lap.

"Oh for the love of-" Sasuke pinched the bridge of her nose, biting on the cigarette viciously. "Please tell me that isn't what I think it is?"

The blond tried to smile innocently, but this time the puppy dog eyes failed miserably. It might have been because Sasuke was annoyed and really contemplated bashing Naruto's head in right then and there. Or it might have been the blood on his face. Who knew?

"Of course. Silly me." Sasuke muttered with a sigh. "Do you have some kind of deeply rooted suicidal fetish I should know about? Should I start dressing in razor blade bikini now or something?"

"Not really." he grinned. "But... those skimpy... chainmail ones would be really hot."

Sasuke blinked.

"Well, that fever must be worse than I thought." She said with a smirk.

The jinchuuriki chuckled, before stiffening and opening his mouth in a soundless cream as Sasuke's hand daintly ripped away a piece of armor, splattering some blood on the grass.

"You can scream." Sasuke said absently, ripping yet-another armored plate that ended up stabbed into the flesh courtesy of an overpowered punch. "I warded the area."

"...ane...stheSIA!" Naruto snarled out, biting his lip.

"Sorry. The pressure points I required to perform _that_ little miracle are kind of under all that armor, so I need to remove it first. And I am out of drugs after I made that poison." She frowned, struggling with a shoulder plate until it came out with a wet squelch. "Sucks to be you, I guess."

"...sa...dist...ic...bitch!" the blond wheezed out.

"How nice, I didn't know you cared!" Sasuke smiled brightly, before stabbing two of her fingers into Naruto's ribcage, causing the blond to stiffen and scream. "You flatterer you." She dragged her hand out, and Naruto'd swear he could both feel and hear two of his ribs cracking. "You're making me blush. " She covered her mouth as she laughed demurely.

"That would have... more of an... effect... if your hand wasn't... covered in my... fucking BLOOD!" Naruto snapped out. "...ou... huuh... shit that HURTS!"

"Well, mortal injuries kind of do that." Sasuke shrugged before pausing and tapping her cheek thoughtfully, uncaring for the red smears she left on her cheek. "Though technically they wouldn't... because they are mortal, so... hmm. An interesting question..."

"Oh just kill me now." The blond rolled his eyes, wincing as Sasuke's hand, glowing green pressed at his abdomen.

"Sorry." She said, sounding anything but. "I don't feel so merciful."

The blond snorted, only for his eyes to bulge out as he felt something cold and really damn painful stab him.

Oddly enough his body was...

"...heeey." He slurred out, marveling at how strangely distant his own voice sounded.

"You are actually lucky you're almost out of chakra and that the furball's energy is busy healing you." Sasuke murmured absently, her hands moving over his chest swiftly, occasionally flashing a more intense shade of green than the constant, faint glow she was giving out otherwise as she healed him.

"That means your body can't fight it so some of the normal healing techniques actually work on you like they should for a change." She sighed, sealing one of the incisions. "Where is... hmm? Already?" She paused. "Now that must have been some HARD channeling. Our friendly neighbourhood furbalina held you together pretty well all things considered, but there is almost no sign of corruption... well, save for the obvious." she eyed the angry red burns on Naruto's arm.

"Strange. It is almost as if someone had buffered the side effects but..." Her frown deepened. "Interesting. Is that Tsunade's doing? But... how?"

"And that is one of the sixty million ryo questions." Naruto murmured, already feeling his chest moving easier due to Sasuke's ministrations.

"Hmm." Sasuke nodded absently, closing yet another wound and making sure the organs under it were in working order. "Well, whatever it is it will help a bit." She frowned, looking at the blond curiously. "I won't even ask how that woman got involved but, sheesh!" She sighed. "Weren't we supposed to do that, you know, _quietly_?"

"Because fighting with a woman who considers throwing walls at people as a perfectly viable combat tactic can be quiet." Naruto rolled his eyes. "I am so very damn sorry for surviving. Next time I will just let one of the strongest fighters to ever live collapse a building on top of me in a nice and quiet fashion. "

"Don't push it." Sasuke snapped, the Sharingan in her eyes spinning menacingly, causing Naruto to blink.

"What the HELL were you thinking out there, you moron?" She growled. "NO conditioning, shit for weapons... what was that, an attempt in 'suicide by a sannin'? Are you going to start with some 'nindo' crap with 'never retreat' as its core philosophy or something equally inane like that?!"

"Geeez, Sasuke... take it easy, don't get your panties in a-." The blond attempted to raise, only to freeze as Sasuke's hand gripped his shoulder painfully, preventing from so much as moving away form the kunoichi's lap.

"Don't give me that!" The Uchiha hissed. "Going against a kunoichi who not only has senses and control to read your tricks but also power to break them all and you with her bare hands? What were you thinking? WHAT?!" She snarled. "You should have RAN the moment you saw her, you idiot!"

"...sorry." The jinchuuriki looked away in embarrassment. "I just... there was no time and... well, I didn't think it'd go like that."

"You didn't think." Sasuke said flatly. "You didn't _think_." her grip on his arm tightened and Naruto winced - those nails of hers were damn sharp. "You. Didn't. Think." With each word, her Sharingan was spinning faster, the glare growing in intensity, only for the crimson to vanish abruptly as Sasuke's rage seemed to evaporate. "Dammit, Naruto..." She said tiredly, her grip slacking. "stop _doing_ stuff like that." She slumped.

"...sorry. I..." The blond shifted nervously, before patting Sasuke's back carefully. "Sorry, okay?"

"...idiot." The kunoichi muttered petulantly.

Naruto just laughed with embarrassment, rubbing his neck.

"...tch. You never change." Sasuke snorted softly, though her tone was lighter than a moment before and Naruto chuckled softly, only to wince as the familiar death grip returned for a second.

"...ow!" he protested. "What was that for?!"

"Just so you don't think that you're forgiven or anything."

"Your bedside manner really sucks, Sas- OW! Fucking shit! Cut it out already!"

"Oh my. My hand must have slipped, But seems like that rib is in one piece again, so no harm no foul."

"Like HELL no harm, you-!" The blond paled, biting his lip.

"Patients shouldn't move. Or speak." Sasuke smirked. "Otherwise the procedure can get mildly uncomfortable."

"I. hate. you. so. much."

"Why, thank you ever so kindly. It is always nice to feel appreciated. Now, that might... sting a little."

"...huh? Oh HELL N- GAAAH!"

* * *

The world swam to focus slowly. It wasn't the matter of senses but rather the mind. After all, Shoten no jutsu wasn't like some simple Kage Bunshin and required a lot of metal focus. Not to mention it really wasn't meant to be used for so long at such a distance.

"Seems it took you a bit."

He turned to look at the familiar silhouette. The large swordsman was up and running looking no worse for wear. Kisame's fortitude, physical or otherwise, was as impressive as always.

This time, however, the large man wasn't eating like he usually did after any strenous activity, but instead sat with Samehada's form on his lap. To Itachi's surprise, the sword was bereft of its usual covering, instead displaying its scaly nature for all to see. At first, given the slow, rythmic movement over the weapon's blade, Itachi thought Kisame was cleaning it, but then he noted the absence of any cloth.

Itachi blinked.

If he didn't know any better, he'd swear Kisame was... petting the sword. And not just petting - he seemed to do it in a manner one would use when faced with a scared puppy or kitten. While Kisame was far from the most ordinary person, that was odd even for him.

Still, Itachi just shrugged it off - what the hell did he know about living blades?

Absently, he made a mental note to patch that obvious hole in his martial education. The odds of fighting against anyone with anything even approaching Samehada's power were rather low, but who knew?

"So, did you find what you're looking for?" The swordsman looked away form his sword.

"No." Itachi said calmly. "But..." He frowned slightly. "I think I might have found what I needed."

"Oh really...?" The Kiri renegade looked at his partner curiously. "So... that wasn't a hoax after all."

"A hoax...?" Itachi smiled faintly, causing Kisame to blink. "If anything, the heresay doesn't do her justice."

"Well now... aren't you giddy." The swordsman grinned. "Though I think I can get ya. A person who arms soldiers like that..." He shook his head with amusement. "Heh. Your gramps's gonna be frothing, Itachi-san. To think some people like that were swimming under that surface so long... and one of them is an Uchiha?"

"Indeed." Kisame almost chuckled at the rare dash of pure, vindictive satisfaction in Itachi's voice. It was so slight that most wouldn't catch it, but he knew the younger man well enough to notice.

"Seems like we're going to have some exciting times comin' up." The swordsman, hefted the sword on his shoulder with a grin.

Itachi got up, grabbing his Akatsuki cloak that was laying on the ground, neatly folded. He looked at the garment thoughtfully, before finally pulling it on in one, smooth move.

"Most interesting." He turned to the exit. "Without a doubt."

"Good." The swordsman followed the Uchiha at a relaxed pace. "I was startin' to get bored stiff lately. I thought you're gonna wait forever."

Itachi said nothing, nodding slightly.

"So." Kisame started tying a fresh roll of cloth over his sword deftly. "What now?"

"Now we make our report." Itachi said calmly.

"No, I mean in general." The swordsman looked at his partner.

"I don't know yet." Itachi said, frowning thoughtfully. "But first, I think I will go and get laid."

"Oh, well. If you-" Kisame paused, staring at Itachi. "...what?!"

* * *

TBC...

* * *

Glossary:

Dai Hisen: great waterfall

Ryoura: elaborated cloth

Raika: fire started by lightning


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks got to MageOhki, Griever, Nightelf, Vasey, Cornuthaum and Typhonis for the useful comments, as well as to TFF for general support. You know who you all are. Special thanks to Daneel Rush.

Edited by Skelethin.

* * *

Reload

Chapter 10

* * *

"Lithium Flower"

* * *

Yugito quickly found that it wasn't hard to travel to Coral, nor was hiding her presence all that difficult. While her bright hair stood out, as did - she grudgingly admitted- her features, there were ways around it. Genjutsu was straight out - unless one was a master, any henge-like skills, ironically enough, served to draw the attention of any ninja capable of picking that little 'something is not quite right' vibe. Hunter nin in particular were trained for that. She was competent with battle genjutsu but nowhere near enough to be called an adept, no matter a master.

What came to her aid wasn't any ninja training at all, but the time she spent as, ostensibly, a bodyguard of a rather spoiled woman of the Lighting country's court. The mission was unusual, as the woman paid her former village a rather considerable sum to have a jinchuuriki around her as a bodyguard. Ostensibly for safety, but most thought the spoiled brat wanted to shock her guests with a touch of danger, showing off a leashed demon and its container.

The mission, despite Yugito's misgivings, turned out to be actually... fun, since she quickly learned that under the shallow, bratty exterior laid a very sharp mind and will of pure steel. Though one still almost absurdly concerned with pretty clothes, make-up and various trappings of luxury that Yugito at the time deemed as entirely superfluous.

However, when her client wanted to play 'makeover' and 'dress up', who was she to argue? It was then that Yugito learned more about the language of the fan, poetry, kimonos costing more than half a year of her pay and make-up than she ever wanted to know. Lady Sumire had entirely too much fun presenting her to various male guests who started waxing poetic about Yugito's beauty in earnest, only to let slip that her 'lady in waiting' was actually a kunoichi with a demon inside her just itching to get loose.

Watching the noble, boisterous young lords pale and stumble over their own legs trying to 'politely' leave the women's company was amusing and Yugito held no ill will towards Sumire for that. This was really why she was hired after all - to drive away suitors that Sumire had little need and even less patience for. The two young women parted as friends, if Yugito could call anyone that, with a glowing letter of recommendation from Sumire which secured Yugito long-coveted jounin rank and a knowledge of make-up and clothes she thought she'd never put to use again.

'Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony.' She smirked wryly, tugging lightly at the neckline of her beautiful, butterfly-patterned kimono that she managed to quietly steal from a shop she passed by.

The bamboo umbrella, on the other hand, she bought thanks to a rather foolish group of bandits who were dead-set on robbing and raping a defenseless young woman walking in a nice kimono on an abandoned back road. They were more than gracious enough to provide funding. Well, they probably would have been if she cared to threaten them over it, instead of simply vaporising them on the spot.

Still, it was more than enough to get her what she needed. Some dye got rid of her unusually bright hair easily enough. She considered cutting her hair to make the change even more drastic, but then realized that was something she would do - meaning something hunter-nin _expected_ her to do. It was, after all, practical and Yugito was known to be such. When she understood that, she used Nekomata's help to grow it out even longer instead, styling it in a simple, yet very un-Yugito 'hime' cut.

The jinchuuriki had to admit the long hair and the elegant, courtly 'side bangs' were annoying and anything but her first pick, but that assured her it was a good choice. To deepen that, she forced herself to let the kimono be opened a tad more than was decent and be a little more provocative than most would wear. It was grossly unpractical and against her sensibilities but that was the point, wasn't it?

Though she could understand why some rather more daring kunoichi, especially genjutsu specialists, used it now. It drew people's attention away from the really important features, distracted and, surprisingly, allowed a great deal of liberty in hiding weapons. She was honestly surprised at how easily it was to conceal not only her arsenal of kunai and shuriken, but also her scrolls and even a decent kodachi she had taken from one of the bandits.

The generous yet subtle application of make-up allowed her to transform the attractive, if a bit sharp, features, softening their predatory nature quite a bit with various tricks and nudges. Yugito was never so grateful to Sumire as she was now - it was incredible what one could do with some clothes, hair-dye and a bit of ordinary make-up.

That and Nibi's help in muddling their chakra signature let her remain ahead of her pursuers, allowing her to focus on her own hunt.

Getting a ship to Coral was easy, which wasn't surprising given the nature of the place, even if the journey itself was a bit long. Still, she doubted that Kumo wanted to advertise the fact their jinchuuriki just went rogue, so she doubted they'd be doing anything in the open. That limited them both in speed and means. Of course that also meant they'd be sending some elite operators to ensure the success of the mission, but considering who and what she was, they'd have done so regardless.

So far it seemed to coast was clear and she easily lost herself in the crowd, taking precautions just in case. Paranoia wasn't a mental illness in the life of a ninja - it was a survival trait.

'I'm getting better at this.' She thought wryly, smoothly fading away from the alley without any hurry. For any casual observer she'd appear little more than a shadow of a bystander, or not even that as she passed leaving no trace of her presence.

Never in her life would she imagine using her tracking and urban combat training to actually evade her own village. And yet, here she was.

'And _whose_ fault is that?' She thought, a brief spike of fury ruffling her composure before she forced it down to the now-usual, simmering level. Anger was bad. Fury was even worse - it made one lose their head and fall prey to emotions. Cool head was a must.

The little private litany brought her no assurance, save for a disgusting, acidic after-taste in her mouth.

It brought her even less comfort as she looked at the rain-streaked, wet ruins of what was once a part of the lower docks district of Akasango - now nothing more than a pile of, admittedly colorful, rubble.

Her hands gripped the umbrella's handle so hard the wood groaned, almost cracking from the sheer pressure.

The feeling was unmistakable, the ruin undeniable. Despite this, Yugito felt no triumph. Instead she had to stop her trembling hands from slamming into nearby pile of rocks with a rage-filled snarl.

Late.

All that mad pursuit, all that work, all that anticipation, that vicious joy at the fact the main culprit behind her life falling apart couldn't run away anymore... and she was late. LATE.

A low, inhuman hiss escaped Yugito's throat as her hands convulsed in barely restrained fury.

Two days. Two _measly_ days. If she had been just those two days faster she could have found and punished those responsible. Who knew, she just might have cleared her name! A faint hope, but there was a possibility, no matter how slim.

Now it was all gone. Were it only tales of some civilian onlookers she'd be willing to doubt them, willing to hope against hope the bastard escaped but...

There was only one blonde, big breasted woman who could wreak such insane amount of damage by strength alone. Given the fact Tsunade-hime could play the angel of mercy to the wounded afterwards, Yugito was sure opponent was in many little pieces by now. Even if he wasn't she had little doubt that he was long gone.

Coincidentally if it was true, the havoc left in place was enough to muddle the already cold trail even further. And just like that, she was out of leads.

Yugito slumped, rubbing her temples.

"Dammit..." She murmured tiredly, allowing the exhaustion of the past few days to catch up to her.

Just like that, she was out of options, clues, resources or even a vague outline of an idea what to do next. In retrospect, betting it all on a slim chance that might have turned out to be a bust in the first place was really stupid.

She didn't fancy approaching Tsunade for answers - the woman was infamously stubborn and her temper was legendary. Not to mention she was far too high profile and sure to attract even more attention with that recent stunt. Paying her a visit would be suicide, not to mention might prove fruitless if the sannin decided she wasn't going to share her intel with a Cloud renegade. There was little love lost between Konoha and Kumo at the best of times, nukenin or not.

"What now...?" She murmured, staring blankly at the ruined houses.

"Talking to yourself? Really, kitty-cat." A familiar voice, tinged with irony, froze her to the spot for a moment. "I knew you went around the bend, but I didn't know it was that much. Seems like I'll be doing you a favor."

The jinchuuriki stiffened, turning slowly to the source of the voice.

"Hachi." She said, her eyes narrowing as she observed a short, stocky man clan in oversized tunic and wide pants. He'd look almost ridiculous, especially with the bulky belt on his waist, but Yugito knew he was anything but. "They actually sent the Hammers for me? I am honored."

"Well, what did you expect?" The middle-aged man sighed "You made a helluva lot of mess, kiddo. The pencil pushers run around like headless chickens trying to cover it all up but..." he shrugged.

"Someone has to take the fall." Yugito snorted with disgust. "Is that it?"

"Fall? Kid, you brought it on yourself." Hachi raised an eyebrow. "The hell you did that for, Yugito? What was it, some personal vendetta? Or was it money? I imagine Razen would pay a lot to get rid of Aida."

"Actually, it is neither." Yugito closed the umbrella, putting it down carefully. It might have been stupid, but she always hated waste or senseless destruction of the things she owned.

It was a bit like betrayal to her - they served her faithfully so she could at least extend the same courtesy. Absently, she allowed her chakra to shape her hair into more manageable style - superfluous, but she had power to spare after all. "But I doubt you'd believe me."

"If I believe you or not doesn't matter." The older man shook his head. "I have orders. You know what that means."

"Oh, I know what that means, all right." She said bitterly. "It means that nowadays the Cloud hierarchy is happily selling out their own ninja at the whims of aristocracy. Even when the ninja is supposedly the village's asset and weapon."

"Fool girl." The grizzled jounin sighed. "You still don't get it, do you? That's the way it is played, that's how ninja live, kitty. As for you... well, it'll set us back few years, but there are ways around it."

Yugito's eyes widened.

"Did you think you were Kumo's first nekomata jinchuuriki?" The jounin sorted. "Don't be an idiot. There is a nice little seal in that array of yours that will keep that damn furball shackled in your corpse for a few days so we can extract it nice and proper and seal it again."

The nekomata host stiffened a little as the understanding dawned.

"I see." Her face was expressionless, even as her eyes slitted, the nails on her hands lengthening into claws.

"Don't make it hard on yourself, kid." The jounin sighed. "I know your tricks inside and out. Hell, I taught you most of them myself."

"I picked a few new ones since then." The jinchuuriki said darkly, the first flickers of flame aura rising on her skin.

"Oh I don't doubt that." The older man nodded and Yugito stiffened as a number of grey-clad silhouettes appeared to fade into visibility around her. "That's why I brought some Hammers with me. You can't win, kiddo."

"That..." The flames became a blazing corona of power. "remains to be _seen_."

"Idiot." Hachi muttered, shaking his head before rising his hand. "Hammer Team-"

Both jinchuuriki and the Cloud ANBU paused as soft, feminine laughter cut into tense atmosphere.

"Oya...?" The amused male voice exclaimed. "And what do we have here, I wonder?"

The shinobi carefully turned to the source of the voice, keeping each other in their field of vision, only to see a blond man in a rather expensive looking outfit in burnt oranges and blacks looking at them curiously.

The richly clad man was accompanied by a dark haired, stunningly beautiful woman in a violet and rather daring yukata, an elegant bamboo umbrella over her shoulder sheltering them both from rain.

"A couple of rats?" She suggested with a raised one eyebrow, looking at the shinobi critically.

"Oh indeed. But either very brave, or very stupid rats." The man said cheerfully "After all, they do attack a rather big cat."

Hachi's eyes narrowed slightly.

"Now this is interesting." He said with a frown. "And usually it'd be so interesting I'd take a time asking you about it, but I am rather busy. Tia. Haru. Take care of that."

"Yes sir." Two grey clad silhouettes, one male, one female, jumped forward, drawing swords as they went, only to freeze, skidding to a halt as their weapons fell apart, cut cleanly in half.

"Kageuchi Batto Ryu: Kosen." The dark haired woman leaned back from her momentary stance, the lower part of her umbrella being pushed back in with a soft, metallic whisper. "Please, don't do anything so stupid again. I have some good sake to drink this evening. I don't want it to taste of blood tonight, if you would?" She smiled softly, patting the hilt of her sword.

The two young ANBU took a step back, looking at their commander, who shook his head once.

The armored duo backed away without a word.

"We aren't mice, mister rat." Naruto said cheerfully. "If anything, if the beautiful lady there is a cat," he bowed to Yugito. "then we just might be wolves." His cheerful grin widened, becoming toothy.

Suddenly, Hachi wasn't so sure the woman was more dangerous of the two anymore.

"I have no idea what you're thinking you might know, but that woman is a missing nin, a traitor and a fugitive from the law." He nodded at Yugito, who was standing, not daring to move a muscle and tensely observing the whole situation. "She's a renegade and this is a lawful execution backed by the authority of my village. It is none of your business, kid. Turn back, walk away, forget you saw anything and you can get out of it alive."

"Hmm..." The younger man rubbed his chin thoughtfully, before smiling. "How about... no?"

"Don't be stupid, boy." The grizzled man warned him calmly.

"Oh I am not, I am not!" The blond laughed. "Because well, considering you want to eliminate any witnesses so eagerly it means you'd just kill her and move on to us to tie up any loose ends. So I think I'll pass on that, if you don't mind."

"I guess." The jounin sighed. "Damn, and I hoped it'd end without getting too bloody..."

"Actually, it still can." The younger man said with a smile. "To be honest, as my friend said, we have good sake to drink with Kanrinin-san, and when it tastes of blood it is just _awful_. A waste of good alcohol is just criminal, wouldn't you agree?"

"What's your point?" The ANBU commander frowned.

"Simple. There is no need for bloodshed. In fact we can go our own ways not only without a slightest bit of incident but with both parties actually happy and far from empty handed."

"You propose a trade?" The middle aged ninja snorted. "Let's just say I'd agree to something so ridiculous, even despite my orders. What could you possibly give me that would equal a jinchuuriki? What would equal a weapon of that kind of power eh?" He shook his head. "That's ridiculous. Nothing can meet that price."

"Not even a Zaihou box?" The young man raised his palm letting the moonlight shed some light on a fist-sized metallic box on his palm.

Hachi froze, staring at the box.

"...how... how did you get that?" He asked in a tight voice. "It is under twenty four hour ANBU guard, there is absolutely no way you could have stolen-"

"I didn't." The younger man shrugged. "It is simply not the same box."

The jounin kept staring at the small container as if afraid it would suddenly vanish for a long moment, before, with obvious reluctance, shaking his head.

"I can't go against orders." Hachi raised an eyebrow. "Besides, I can take it of your corpse easily enough."

"You could, if you were capable of killing me." The young man chuckled softly. "But even if you were, it wouldn't do you much good since you wouldn't know how to open it."

The middle aged shinobi simply stared incredulously at him for a long moment.

"You know...?" He said with disbelief. "You actually know how to-"

"Open it?" The blond smiled. "Of course. In fact, I know how to open the one your Raikage has as well."

"And how am I supposed to believe-" Hachi froze as the box in the man's hand slid open, revealing a thin, ornate scroll inside.

"The first box was a puzzle holding Raijin, taken by the Nidaime Hokage of Konoha." Naruto said calmly. "The second, opened by the first Raikage, held the secrets I am not privy to. However, considering that Kumogakure grew to a major village around that time..." He shrugged with a smile. "The third one, the one your Raikage holds, no one was able to ever open. This one is the fourth out of five." He threw the halfway-opened box to the older man. "Here, look for yourself and you'll see I am not trying to trick you or mislead you."

The jounin caught the package deftly, though carefully, looking at it for a moment, before opening the box fully, taking the small scroll out, looking it over frantically for a long moment.

"Ah, boss...?" One of the ANBU hesitated, his eyes darting between Yugito, the two intruders and his leader. "What should we-?"

"Shut up!" Hachi snapped, scanning the scroll, before rolling it with care one would show a little child or a precious, yet delicate masterpiece.

"And what stops me from simply taking this, killing her," he nodded at Yugito. "And then taking you prisoner?"

"For one, the fact I marked the scroll with a blast seal that will detonate if you try to tamper with it or on my mark." Naruto said pleasantly. "Not to mention my friend here will turn you into a pile of meaty chunks if you so much as breathe wrong." The young man's expression hardened. "So stop stalling or I will blow that precious bit of possible Kumo treasure to _pieces _and then _slaughter you were you stand_ Genzai Hachigoro, Kumogakure's ANBU Commander_._"

Hachi looked at the young man for a long moment, not uttering a word.

"In the forty years of my career no one had ever - EVER - talked to me like that." The jounin's eyes narrowed, staring Naruto down. "I've been in five wars, seventeen skirmishes, did countless missions and I've got really damn absurd reward on my head in nine different countries. Do you have any _idea_ what I can do to you, kid?

"Not really." Naruto said cheerfully. "But I do know what she," he pointed at Sasuke, who smiled charmingly, tapping the hilt of her sword, "will do to you in entirety of its rather gruesome details if you don't shut up and get down to business."

Hachigoro blinked, before throwing his head back, laughing.

"I like you, kid!" he said with amusement. "You've got guts! Very well, let's deal!"

* * *

Yugito stared tensely at her two saviors over the table, not uttering a word. The ANBU were long gone, but still the trio waited regardless of rain, simply standing.

She had no idea if it was because they, like her, were able to detect the two scouts that were left behind by Hammer Team until the rest of the Kumo elite unit retreated fully, or if they simply did so for some other reason since they stood there without saying a word even after they left. At first she thought they were waiting for her first move, but they seemed content to stand there, obviously as at ease as she was not, patiently waiting out the rain.

Yugito frowned, not quite sure what to make of the two. At first, the duo seemed like a young noble with a courtesan on his arm, though a well paid one.

'Make it an _extremely_ well paid one.' Yugito corrected herself, paying some attention to the yukata worn by the ebony haired beauty. She knew ladies of the Court who wouldn't be able to afford something like this, much less treat it in such careless manner as to walk through the rain and mud in it. Besides she was quite sure courtesans didn't go cutting swords of the elite ANBU operators on the weekends.

While she could feel no killer intent from the woman, there was something in her words to the two Hammer Team shinobi that chilled Yugito to the bone. There was no vicious note in it, no intent of harm of any kind - it was like the woman was talking about weather or cutting flowers for new ikebana. Killing well-trained ANBU was, like she said, something that would cause her to lose taste for sake for the evening - nothing more, nothing less.

She had seen that kind of calm, self-assured confidence before, only then it was in assassins who had the body count that small armies would be envious of.

Curiously, though, the woman lacked that characteristic dispassionate, blank look most of them usually had, in one degree or another. In fact her eyes were vibrant even despite their dark shade. The darkness, instead of foreboding, offered a touch of mystery to the vibrancy as she stood there observing the rain, occasionally playing with a thin, red ribbon tied to the hilt of her bamboo umbrella.

About the only oddity about her was the fact she appeared to be genuinely interested by the rainfall, though why Yugito had honestly no idea. It wasn't a rapt interest, but it was obvious she wasn't bored either. She seemed to, of all things, stand there and admire it from under her umbrella.

Her companion was far easier to read only because there was nothing _to_ read. The man, even under careful scrutiny, was what he appeared to be - a rather rich, if not exactly unusual young noble. Oh there was certain economy of movement suggesting he was trained to fight, but the lack of any callouses or scars suggested that veteran he was not.

On the other hand, the battoujutsu mistress by his side had no callouses on her nicely tanned, delicate hands either and she was as deadly as any jounin Yugito has ever seen, so she was going to reserve her judgment on that.

But the clashing appearance and skill aside, what really ate at her was the reasons the weird pair could have for saving her, not to mention the means. While her clearance wasn't technically high enough, she did know enough about Zaihou boxes to know that selling one to Kumogakure - or any ninja country really - could set an ordinary man for life.

Even wealthy nobles wouldn't scoff at the amount of money one of those was worth to the right buyer. The boxes were artifacts rumored to be older than any village. They were made of some sort of chakra-treated metal and didn't look particularly impressive, sort of like big rectangular dices made of iron or steel with matte finish. Their unusual nature surfaced when someone tried to open one.

Unless one knew a right way, the boxes didn't budge. It didn't matter if it was done by skill, by force or even a chakra weapon - the boxes didn't open. Some speculated that the sufficient amount of force could damage them, but then one might destroy the contents and that would be pointless. No sane ninja wanted to lose what was inside, especially no Kumo ninja. Obstinate or not, when accessed the right way Zaihou boxes surrendered prizes more than worthy of any effort.

What the stranger said was true - the first of the boxes ever discovered held Raijin no Ken that catapulted Senju Tobirama out of shadow of his monstrously powerful older brother Hashirama into prominence. The second one, though its contents were kept secret even in Kumo, somehow assisted fledgling Kumogakure in the first ninja war, helping to establish it as a major power.

The third box however remained in Kumo's vault, unopened for the past eighty years. Not that Kumogakure's shinobi didn't try - there was even a small section of specialists devoted to unlocking its secrets from what she heard. And now that stranger traded a Zaihou box - an _open_ Zaihou box - for her freedom.

Granted, conditional freedom and she had no illusions the aristocrats she pissed off wouldn't try to eliminate her somehow regardless. She didn't like to be basically sold to the man like a chunk of meat, but it got her out of the sticky situation for the time being. Besides, she was rather curious why a complete stranger would take such a risk and pay so much for one jinchuuriki who might as well run away the moment his back was turned as stab him in said back.

The stranger however didn't seem to be all that inclined to revealing anything or even talking, instead standing there with a cheerful expression on his face, hands in the sleeves of his gi as he stared at the rain like his companion.

In some way Yugito felt almost insulted - he just traded away a priceless artifact and a potential fortune for her and wasn't even willing to look at the 'merchandise'? Where was the sense in that?

It might have been the rain, it might have been the growing irritation she felt with the sheer ridiculousness of the situation that prompted Yugito to break the silence.

"What do you want with me?" She said finally, keeping her face carefully blank.

"For now?" Naruto frowned thoughtfully, rubbing his chin. "I want to have a drink with you."

"For now?" Yugito raised an eyebrow. "And after?"

"After? Well..." He shrugged. "That depends on what _you_ want."

"Aren't my likes irrelevant?" She said sarcastically. "That is the point of owning someone's life, isn't it?"

Sasuke snorted, though she didn't say anything.

"I am not interested in owning your life, Yugito." Naruto said with amusement.

"So what are you interested it?" The nekomata jinchuuriki asked coolly. "If I might know?"

"Right now I am interested in some plum wine and yakitori." The young man said cheerfully. "You coming?"

"Do I have a choice?" The blonde woman said sourly.

"I don't know." Sasuke said noncommittally, turning on her heel as she and Naruto walked out of the alley. "Do you?"

The female jinchuuriki blinked, looking at the slowly diminishing backs of her saviors before frowning and following.

* * *

When she heard plum wine, she imagined an expensive restaurant fitting their attire.

What she got instead was a nice, if a small restaurant stuck in between some alleys. The building clearly saw better days, but it was clean, well kept and obviously ran with dedication. The wine, while far from expensive, was actually decent and yakitori was really good, if not exactly luxury fare. Simple, but tasty and lot of it.

Somehow the patrons didn't seem to pay attention that neither of the new guests really fit among the working-class, cheap kimonos of poorer commoners, though Yugito noticed that the men didn't waste time staring as the raven haired swordmistress walked past them, usually with their eyes wide and mouths even wider.

Then the woman winked to her and for a moment, Yugito saw subdued beiges and washed-out blacks, though she really didn't know what was so interesting about the three new patrons, they weren't special at all and there was no point in looking-

The jiinchuuriki's eyes widened slightly, and the brunette just chuckled.

'A genjutsu adept!' Yugito realized, forcible shaking away the last vestiges of the velvety blanket that the woman spun over her senses. 'No, not adept - a master!'

It was incredibly unusual to see one of those exhibiting that level of prowess outside of their chosen field given how demanding the art was so she honestly didn't even suspect the woman to be one when she saw her skill with the sword.

Yugito covered her surprise by frowning at the other woman.

"Isn't it counter productive to use it and look like that regardless?" She asked softly, just enough for another ninja close by to hear her, but inaudibly for any too curious for their own good civilian.

"Do you suggest I actually hide this fabulous body?" The genjutsu mistress said scandalized. "Perish the thought! Really, they can at least have the flash of true beauty blaze through their dreary lives like a gorgeously fashionable comet. Would you deny them this one moment of true happiness?"

Yugito stared at the other woman incredulously, at loss of words. She honestly didn't know if the other kunoichi was serious or not, and that just added to the surrealness of the situation. Instead of pondering it further, she decided to focus back on the more important matters.

"Who are you?" She asked sharply. "What do you want with me?"

"My name is Kusanagi. The lady with me is Yasakani." The raven haired woman nodded, smiling politely. "As to what I want... as I said. A drink. Some yakitori." He pointed at the table.

"Well, we had both." Yugito said coolly. "What do you want?"

"Man, you're too hasty, Yugito-chan." Naruto sighed. "Can't you simply enjoy the food a little?"

The blonde said nothing, instead simply giving him an impassive stare.

"Haaa... tough crowd." The genin muttered, shaking his head. "But okay. Personally, I don't _want_ anything from you save for listening to a proposition and deciding whether you agree to it, or not."

"And why should you even 'ask' in the first place?" She asked dryly. "You just bought me, o great Kusanagi-sama."

"Oh stop being melodramatic, kitty." Naruto rolled his eyes as Sasuke snorted. "What I bought was a relative bit of freedom that is yours to take and use however you see fit."

"And I suppose you just spent a fortune and a priceless artifact out of the goodness of your heart." The nekomata host said sarcastically.

"Hardly." Naruto shook his head. "But what I want from you can't be bought with money."

The older woman looked at him thoughtfully for a long moment.

"What do you want, then?" She asked finally.

"Some trust, for a start." He shrugged. "Loyalty as well."

Yugito raised an eyebrow, causing the blond to wave his hand dismissively.

"Oh I know it is a tall order, but bear with me. No one is making you do anything."

"Save for the fact you basically bought me, of course." She pointed out.

"Oh give it a rest." Sasuke sighed. "We just saved your life, so the least you can do is shut up and listen for five minutes."

"If you think that people responsible for my... exile," Yugito stumbled over the word, gritting her teeth slightly, "will simply let go because of that little deal you are gravely mistaken. If anything, they'll just get smarter about it."

"As long as you don't act against Kumo and don't join any village in ninja capacity they can't do anything." Sasuke shrugged. "Not officially at least."

"Because that will stop them." Yugito rolled her eyes.

"Hate to say it kitty but right now that's the least of your worries." The Uchiha heiress smirked.

Yugito quirked an eyebrow, looking at Naruto questioningly.

"Ever heard of Akatsuki?"

"Can't say that I have." The nekomata host frowned thoughtfully.

"They are an underground organization consisting mostly of high-level nukenin." The younger man explained.

"There are dozens of those." Yugito shrugged, sipping her wine.

"Yes, but they don't count Uchiha Itachi or Hoshigaki Kisame, or a half dozen of other similarly ranked ninja as members." Naruto said calmly.

Yugito's eyes widened slightly. She knew who Uchiha Itachi was. Or Hoshigaki Kisame, for that matter - it was hard not to, the two were legendary in shinobi circles. To imagine them working together was bad enough - to hear of an organization of several of individuals on similar level... that was some serious power gathered in one place.

"What has that got to do with me?" she asked after a moment.

"Considering that Akatsuki gathers bijuu?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "Plenty, I'd say."

Yugito simply looked at them silently, mulling the informational over in her head for a long moment.

"To fight people like that you'd need a power equal to a hidden village." She said finally.

"You're quick." Naruto nodded with satisfaction. "But you're almost right. You'd need a power of a hidden village, or a number of sufficiently strong shinobi."

"S-class ninja don't grow on tress." Yugito said dryly.

"No, but they do hang out in nice yakitori restaurants from time to time." Sasuke said mildly, taking a sip of her plum wine.

"Ah." Yugito nodded slowly.

Suddenly their utter lack of concern when facing the Kumo ANBU elite didn't seem so suicidal as it appeared at a first glance. It also explained a lot - only an S-class ninja would be so cavalier in ignoring a possible threat from a major village, no matter the circumstances.

"Three is still not enough." She said with a frown. "If they are well organized, they probably have spies, resources..."

"Let's say it isn't as much of a problem as you think." Naruto chuckled and Sasuke just smirked.

Yugito looked at him sceptically for a moment, before shrugging.

'Well, he _did_ trade away a Zaihou box without a second thought, so that just might be true.' She admitted to herself.

"Look, I am not telling you to decide right this very moment." Naruto reached for a napkin and scribbled on it furiously for a few moments with a pencil, before pushing the sheet of paper towards Yugito. "This is a list of names and coordinates to help you if you want to check it out. Go out there, ask some questions and see for yourself. Then decide. Just remember - they are hunting bijuu and you are their target."

"And what if I say no?" She asked, folding the napkin carefully before pocketing it. "What happens then?"

"Nothing." Naruto said with a shrug. "We say our goodbyes and go our own ways."

"Yes, and the moment I leave your gracious hospitality I could just as well paint the bullseye on my back." she said dryly. "Do I look that naive?"

"You don't need to worry about us." Sasuke waved her hand dismissively. "We have plenty of other things to do than hunt one runaway cat."

"How gracious." Yugito rolled her eyes. "What a pity Kumo won't think the same way." She said with a dry smile.

"We can take care of few whiny politicians just fine." Naruto snorted.

"And that is precisely my point." Yugito deadpanned, standing up. "How do I contact you?"

"With this." The genin snapped his fingers, a thin scroll appearing in his hand a moment later. "You'll need to unroll and activate it, same as a summoning. It will work only once so I suggest you make up your mind before you do this."

"Well I doubt you'll want to kill me at this point so I'll trust it isn't a blast note." The nekomata host smiled wryly. "See you later."

"I certainly hope so." Naruto smiled, watching as she vanished in the crowd, before turning back to his yakitori and digging in with relish.

Sasuke frowned, her eyes lingering at the exit for a moment longer, before taking a sip of her wine.

"Naruto?"

"Hmm?" He looked up from his meal.

"Why did we did that?" The Uchiha heiress asked, clearly puzzled.

The jinchuuriki blinked, before frowning and scratching his chin.

"You know what?" Naruto murmured before smiling cheerfully "I have completely no idea!"

"Ah." Sasuke nodded thoughtfully. "What will you do if she does agree, though?"

"Well... I always wondered how it was to have a cat." The boy pondered out loud.

"Hmm. As good reason as any, I guess." She shrugged, nodding to the waitress. "Two more portions and another bottle of that wine please."

"Ah, miss, are you sure...?" The teenage waitress asked carefully. "It is a bit ex-" her eyes widened as a golden coin danced on the tray in her hands before coming to a halt. "Right away, honored customers!" She bowed with a wide smile.

"Show off." Sasuke's lips twitched.

"But of course." Naruto said, fixing his imaginary glasses, before grinning widely. "'Sides, I like their plum wine. It's not too sweet and has a nice sour note that is right up my alley."

Sasuke nodded, leaning back on the chair in a leisurely manner, balancing her cup on one finger.

"There is something to it." She agreed after a thoughtful moment, spinning the clay cup lazily. "And the rough clay cups go surprisingly well with it. Gives it a nice, homey atmosphere."

"I am less concerned about clay and more about the meat." Naruto shrugged. "Which reminds me, its taking a bit too long, don't you think?"

"Really?" Sasuke said mildly, not bothering to take her eyes from the spinning cup.

Naruto looked at his partner curiously, before frowning as a muffled crash of breaking glass resounded through the establishment.

"-me, eh?!" growled angry male voice

"Please! We didn't have as many customers lately! I need only a bit more time...!" The voice was female, and despite being tinged with fear Naruto could hear the owner trying to keep her composure.

Sasuke spun her cup with a focus of a child who found a new toy, completely ignoring the situation - as did the rest of the patrons, Naruto realized. The voices were too muffled for them to hear over the festival rush outside, not that it was a problem for his freakishly acute senses.

"Hey now, cutie... didn't see you 'round before."

Naruto blinked, darting his head up to see a man in a bright, rather tasteless gi with a surprisingly nice camelia-pattern haori over his shoulders. A hilt of a katana stuck from his belt in a manner that drew the maximum amount of attention to it. He was tall, rather lankly but far from weak - his body looked to be a wiry cord of muscle. Muscle used to fights, given the scars and how he held himself.

"The owner seems to have added some new attractions, I see." The yakuza drawled with a whistle, looking Sasuke up and down. "What is a girl like you doing in a hole like this?"

Another muffled crash caused Naruto to look away towards the back of the shop where two burly men stood by the entrance to the kitchen, obviously blocking the way inside.

Sasuke stopped her spin, looking at her friend with amusement.

"Go." She shooed him off gently.

The blond nodded, standing and walking to the kitchen.

"Heh. Seems like you know the good thing when you see it, eh?" The yak in colorful haori didn't waste any time sprawling himself in Naruto's previous place. "Gotta admit, you're a smart cookie. I like that in a girl." His eyes greedily devouring Sasuke's face and sliding down to the woman's cleavage in short order.

The Uchiha heiress blinked once, the cup on her finger stopping its spin as she looked up from it.

The brunette looked at the yakuza for a long moment, before putting the cup on the table with almost exaggerated care.

"Excuse me," She cocked her head to the side. "are you tying to take something that doesn't belong to you?"

"Whaddaya mean?" The man asked in confusion, before snorting. "Forget about that loser, baby. You need someone that can take care of you right, appreciate you..." The yakuza trailed off, blinking as the cup the woman set with such care started to collapse on itself. Not simply break - it started to outright collapse, chip by little chip, like some puzzle, breaking in neat order from the top until nothing more than a perfect circle that used to be its bottom was all that remained.

One to thing to be said about that particular yakuza - he was smarter than your usual garden variety thug and it didn't take him much to make the connection.

"Now look what you've done." Sasuke said with a small pout. "And here I was willing to let you go, maybe cut a limb or two." She shook her head with a soft sigh. "But you just had to do something stupid like that."

The two thugs who accompanied their boss to the table stared, frozen as the blood sprayed the wall, the head of the garishly clothed yakuza following shortly after.

"I think..." The kunoichi said, frowning thoughtfully, the blooded sword inher hand. "I think I'll have to kill you all right now."

* * *

"No entry. Go away, f-"

Naruto didn't even bother slowing down, simply pushing the thug away.

"He said no entry, asshole!" The second thug unsheathed his sword. "You wanna get cut?"

Naruto frowned, looking at what had to be a quite decent katana a number of years of criminal negligence before.

In that moment, the second yakuza soldier regained his balance, going for his own sword, taking a menacing step forward. Naruto ignored the burly, unshaven man completely, instead looking at a battered shikomizue in his hand.

"I don't like you." He said, his eyes narrowing. "And I think I'll be taking them out of your hands now."

"Huh?" The two thugs looked at him with blank incomprehension, only to freeze in shock as the blond walked past, their empty hands clenching nothing but air where their swords rested a second before.

"Trash with no respect for the steel that serves them faithfully...!" Naruto growled, eyes narrowing. "You scum have no right to live!"

The two yakuza paled, before choking as the garotte tightened and crushed their windpipes.

Naruto didn't waste a second look, walking into the kitchen.

"...what the hell... Asa, I told you to-" A short, well dressed man with a missing pinky turned away from a woman on the floor. Naruto's eyes narrowed a little as he noticed the ripped kimono, blood trickling down the woman's face that looked like an older copy of the face of their waitress. The waitress herself was on the floor, unconscious.

"Now I really don't like you." The blue eyes narrowed a touch more.

"And who the fuck are you supposed to be?" The yakuza frowned. "Whatever, I don't care. Why the hell did those two idiots let you pass? Asa! Asa, you good for nothing-"

He paused, noticing a slow stream of blood pooling by the entrance.

"Well now." The man murmured. "You're both very brave and very stupid to have done that, brat." He drew a shikomizue from his belt lazily. "Those idiots were just muscle, but I am a pro." His katana glinted as he gripped it with obvious familiarity.

"I am going to give you exactly five seconds to contemplate just how stupid it is to use this against me." Naruto said cheerfully. "One."

The older man frowned, before shaking his head.

"Idiot." He muttered rising his sword.

"Two." Naruto raised his empty hand calmly.

"Oh shut up and die!" The man stabbed the blade viciously, only to freeze as the sword, instead of drawing blood, simply sank into the blond's flesh.

"Three." Naruto let the weapon sink into his palm, taking a step forward to push it even further so it could vanish into his hand with a soft whisper. "Damn, man! You made me lie!"

"...what the fuck...?" The yakuza whispered, dumbfounded.

"That's for me to know," The older man's eyes bulged out as over a dozen of blades that seemed to come out nowhere at the snap of Naruto's fingers speared him through. "and for you to die because of."

The woman stared at the scene, frozen, her chocolate brown eyes wide. Naruto decided she had to be in her late thirties and still quite attractive even after some rough treatment from the thugs.

"What... what have you done...?" She whispered.

"Aside from saving you and your daughter from rape and being sold off to a really ratty brothel by local yakuza?"

"Save me...? Save me?" Her laughter was hollow. "You killed me! He was just a middle man, not even a very good one! The moment Kazuo knows... oh god..." She swallowed. "You... you killed us all!"

The blond frowned, rubbing his chin for a moment

"How much do you owe this Kazuo?" He asked finally.

"Ten thousand." She said, sighing heavily. "But right now, I doubt even fifty would appease him." She glared at Naruto. "Thank you ever _so_ much, mister hero!"

"I know older women get all kind of delicious kinks, but do you like to watch your daughter being raped so much?" The ninja raised an eyebrow and the restaurant owner flinched.

"Sorry." She said, biting her lip. "He... he just lost it. I think he was drunk and he just... I was a bit overdue, times have been hard lately and I couldn't make the deadline and-"

"You're babbling." Naruto said absently.

The woman blinked.

Naruto snapped his fingers and the woman's eyes widened as a handful of golden coins spilled form his palm right down to her lap.

"Take it, take your daughter and go away from this island. Build yourself a life somewhere that is far from here." He turned on his heel. "As for the yakuza..." he swept his hand over the bleeding corpse, the swords vanishing swiftly as if they were never there. "Don't worry. It is as good as taken care of."

The restaurant owner stared as the strange warrior turned on his heel, the faded gi and hakama becoming bright, colorful and expensive as a beautiful brunette in a yukata worth more than her small store put together joined him, a bamboo umbrella in hand.

Her eyes widened as she noticed the now-empty restaurant, save for several corpses that she recognized as her tormentor's underlings, now laying in pool of their own blood - mostly in pieces.

"...who are you people...?" She muttered.

"We?" Sasuke chuckled, opening her umbrella to shield herself and the blond from the drizzle as they walked away. "We're just some people onvacation."

* * *

"Welcome back, Kusanagi-dono, Yasakani-dono." Chigusa bowed, smiling.

"Good to be back." Naruto said, nodding.

He had to give credit where credit was due - the matron couldn't be caught unaware at any time - be it early morning or, like now, late night. She always seemed spotless, unruffled and smiling slightly, regardless of situation. He had no idea why, but he found the inn owner's presence and manner strangely soothing. It might have been the woman's amiable manner and her smile.

"Should I prepare some sake, or..." She asked, her eyes sliding over them in practiced ease, not lingering anywhere in particular but taking note of everything. "Ah. Would some ginju-shu be more appropriate?"

'Or it could be the fact she doesn't bat an eye at blood-stained sleeves of an exquisite kimono and picks personal tastes from a glance.' Naruto chuckled.

Like the fact that Sasuke always found sake tasting of blood right after killing and craved something with more vibrant tang, usually sweet or sour, to kill the aftertaste.

Chigusa, who watched Sasuke cut a young, half-drunk samurai who got too grabby, picked it up amazingly quickly. Though Naruto had to wonder what kind of life did the kanrinin lead to gain such stoic, almost shinobi-like detachment towards death.

He wasn't as good as Sasuke at reading people, but he learned over the years - he'd bet every nickel he had that the older woman was far more concerned about the fact someone disturbed the guests on her property than the fact a young man ended up gutted like a fish.

The blood-spattered wood tiles earned more concern from her, actually, and had done so with such a grace no one could accuse her of being callous. Hell, Naruto didn't doubt for a second at that moment any men in the vicinity wanted to be those tiles when she touched them.

"Cherry wine, if you would, Chigusa-san." Sasuke put away the umbrella, only for a servant girl to appear, bowing and taking it out of her hands carefully.

The kunoichi blinked while Chigusa smiled, nodding at a girl.

"It shall be clean by the morning, Yasakani-dono." the former oiran said softly.

Sasuke looked at the woman for along moment, her face carefully blank, before nodding once. For a moment, the two women shared a small smile, before the kunoichi turned on her heel.

"I'm going to take a bath." She stretched, walking towards the baths without care for the

world, a servant girl following with a bowl full of shampoos, oils and various other beauty supplements Naruto was, to his unending frustration, deeply familiar with thanks to Sasuke's occasional shopping binges. The bastard was almost obsessive about various anniversaries, birthdays or any other occasions that ended with presents for certain Uchiha. Woe was to Naruto if he missed any.

"Well isn't she giddy." Naruto murmured, before shrugging slightly and starting to shed his haori, only to stop as two servant girls stood by. He gave them a sideways look - the girls were simply standing there, but for some reason he felt as if there was reproach on their carefully polite faces. He sighed, letting go of his haori, allowing the two women to carefully take it off him.

A small smile danced in corners of Chigusa's lips.

"Yes, I imagine it is just so very funny." Naruto said sourly.

"Why, whatever can milord mean?" She said, blinking innocently. "Would milord wish for something more suitable for lounging?"

"Milord would." Naruto said with as much dignity as he could muster. Which, given he was basically being stripped by two girls who were taking their sweet time under watchful eyes of their employer wasn't all that much. He envied Sasuke sometimes - the bitch could be stark naked in front of officially dressed courtiers, looking and acting more regal than all of them put together.

Or she could just act like a total slut. Or... well, whatever Sasuke damn well pleased at the moment. You never knew with the bastard - mercurial didn't begin to cover it.

The two attendants shared a knowing grin - and boy, did Naruto learn about knowing grins living with Sasuke for so long - carefully disrobing him and stuffing him into a matte-black yukata. With sparrows.

'At least those are manly, orange sparrows.' He consoled himself, walking towards the hot springs, only to stop, blinking as a chalk-white maid backed away from the corridor leading to the hot springs.

Naruto frowned, looking at Chigusa, who appeared as mystified.

"Chigusa-sama..." The maid swallowed. "Do we have some more mead?" She tried to appear calm, but her voice was quite a bit higher than normal, a note of hysteria in it.

"Mead?" The matron asked, rising an eyebrow. "Why, I believe Kimi-chan in the kitchen does have some but..."

"That's... that's good." The girl swallowed again. "By your leave, Chigusa-sama, I..."

A loud sound of something hitting water caused the already pale woman to become chalk-white.

"Ayu-chan..." Chigusa asked gently, walking up to the distraught girl. "Is there something you want to talk to me about? Is there some problem?"

"Ah... no Chigusa-sama. No problem. I mean, I am a professional maid, I have no problems with serving our guests even if they are ninja or spirits or... or whatever. No problem, no problem!" She laughed a touch hysterically.

"...spirits?" The ex-orian said, looking at the girl oddly, before sighing. "Ayu-chan, maybe you should go lie down? There are no... spirits..." She trailed off, her eyes widening as she looked through the open door. "...oh."

Naruto looked over her shoulder carefully, only to freeze.

"...what in the world...?" He muttered, blinking as he observed a long, shapely fish tail waving to and fro lazily. Lazy that came to a complete halt, before vanishing in a swirl of exploding water as a rather enthusiastic mermaid launched herself out of the spring, somersaulting in the air, her tail morphing into a pair of shapely legs as she landed gracefully at the edge of the spring, a clay bottle in her hand.

"Oh my." Chigusa blinked several times. "Oh dear."

The mermaid looked at Naruto sorrowfully, rising the bottle and waving it side to side before turning it upside down, showing it was empty.

Naruto just stared, blinking. He was, for once, honestly at loss what to do. Chigusa, on the other hand, obviously wasn't.

"Rena-chan?" The inn owner said, her voice calm. "Could you please get some mead for our guest?"

The jinchuuriki looked at the ex-oiran oddly.

"Don't you find a mermaid in your hot spring even a little bit odd?" He asked curiously.

"Kusanagi-dono, mermaid or not, she is a guest." Chigusa said calmly. "No guest has ever been treated poorly in this place, nor will one mermaid break this tradition as long as she doesn't drip on my floors."

* * *

The oiled cloth slid over the blade in a well practiced move yet again, leaving behind gleaming polish that was just a tiny bit muted in the light of false dawn.

Naruto tapped the base of the edge with two fingers, watching as droplets of oil danced on it as the sword vibrated briefly.

"Yukigakure.... huh?" He murmured, rising the sword up to catch a bit of dawn's light. "You probably have a story to tell, baby... what a pity you ended up like that."

"Ahh... isn't it just so sweet." Sasuke walked out of the door rubbing her eyes sleepily and yawning. "You always have most tender words for those. How shameless."

Naruto smirked, though it looked a bit odd given how the raised sword obscured his face.

"Jealous?" He asked smugly.

"Mooooron." Sasuke smiled lazily, stretching her hands out and over her head. "In the end..." She pushed off the veranda, letting her momentum carry her forward without care, before becoming nothing more than a washed out blur of feather light touch of silk and fragrance of jasmine so intense he could almost taste it as the obi slid over his fingers trapping both of his wrists, palms outstretched as she balanced the shikomizue on her finger. "It is for me anyway, no?"

"More like because of you." Naruto smirked opening his palms with a snap. "Here you go, your bitchiness." Two blue-grey and red blurs shot towards Sasuke, who leaned back, spinning as she caught them.

"Hoo?" The raven haired kunoichi smirked. "Dao, hmm? Good. I need to shake off the grogginess of the morning." The weapons spun lazily as she assumed a butterfly-like stance somewhat reminiscent of Jyuuken, though with blades.

"Hyuuga would probably have a coronary." Naruto said with a grin.

"So they would." Sasuke smirked back, before cutting forward slowly, taking a step with grace that only Taijiquan could muster. It looked slow, strangely sluggish but Naruto knew too much of it to call it anything else but deadly. When Sasuke felt particularly vicious she used a slow-fast-slow tempo on her opponents, making sure to destroy them mentally as well as psychologically bit by bloody bit.

"Thousand papercuts much?" The jinchuuriki mused, getting back to the restoration of the Yukigakure shikomizue.

"I can do more than a thousand." The Uchiha heiress said absently, the blades arcing gracefully.

"Is that even possible?" Naruto breathed on the sword, tapping it a few times to hear a muted chine.

"If you are careful enough." She murmured, turning over a half-circle slowly, almost lazily. Naruto had seen Sasuke practicing it long enough to know just how difficult this 'lazy' was.

It was one of _those_ routines Sasuke loved so much - freakishly hard, very demanding and almost ornately graceful. Not that the bastard didn't go for efficient, but there was something about softer, inner styles that appealed to Sasuke's sense of aesthetics when simply working out. Not that she shied away from power-oriented ones, oh no - Sasuke's arsenal of martial arts was vast and varied.

What both irked and amazed Naruto was the fact that usually a person who simply learned any style that he came across was at best mediocre in all of them - Sasuke could somehow pull off switching from one to other seamlessly and even mixing them on occasion.

At first he had thought it was Sharingan but then he spent time analyzing Kakashi to learn it was not the cause. Whenever it was a truly ridiculous amount of experience, natural talent boosted by the learning capability of the Sharingan or hard work didn't matter in the end. Because when it came down to it, Sasuke was just plain awesome to watch.

'Well, that loose yukata is also a factor.' He chuckled, before cursing as he noted Sasuke smirking.

He knew those eyes. Those nasty, onyx, gleeful eyes. They told him 'I know you are watching, te-hee!'

"Fuckin' exhibitionist..." Naruto grumbled.

"Nice choice of words." Sasuke laughed softly, before turning back to her routine.

Naruto blinked, before snorting.

"...bitch." He murmured, though the corners of his lips twitched.

Sasuke just smirked, her swords turning into a momentary blur, despite the rest of her body moving slowly. It tended to disorient people, especially given the tassels on the dao sabers she currently used.

The blur became see-through, suddenly slowing down to an impossibly fluid serpentine spin and the edges of Sasuke's form blurred, before appearing to split into two separate silhouettes moving in concert which split into another two yet again, spinning around the stone where Naruto sat.

It was not speed, nor was it, strictly speaking, genjutsu. It was an obscure movement technique that played havoc with observer's sense of perception without actually using chakra. Hellishly hard to learn and even harder to execute, it tended to be a nasty surprise on shinobi that used those precious moments to try a kai on an illusion that really wasn't.

Naruto had once seen Sasuke kill a jounin with a pocket knife simply because the man left himself body-wide open because of it.

They both laughed hysterically over it for weeks afterwards, especially given the man was some sort of hot stuff shinobi and whatnot. They couldn't even remember his name by now.

Naruto didn't even bother pinpointing Sasuke's real position, instead simply smearing some oil over the sword before striking it at the stone he was sitting at.

The sparks danced, given a bit of a boost by a hair-thin sheet of wind chakra over the blade and Naruto stabbed the shikomizue down, causing the blazing oil to gush forward in a wave.

The pseudo-clones wavered, fading as Sasuke stopped, both dao balanced on her shoulders.

"Well that is one way to go around having nearly zero of fire affinity." She mused as the wave surged forward, only to blink. "...uh, Naruto...?"

The blacksmith's eyes widened as he saw the wave's direction - straight at the small garden with blooming sakura trees included.

He shot up but it was too late as the blazing wave, pushed by his wind affinity, jumped greedily forward...

A loud hiss erupted, the explosion of steam obscuring their vision.

A moment later, the mist started unravel, revealing a rather sleepy looking siren who frowned, before looking at Sasuke.

"Not me." The kunoichi waved her sabers for emphasis.

The mermaid turned to Naruto with a disappointed look in her azure eyes.

"...sorry." The jinchuuruki cringed slightly.

Keisei sighed, shaking her head before rising her finger pointedly.

Sasuke frowned slightly, looking at the summon curiously.

The siren kept her finger up, before pointing it at the sword. Then at spilled oil before waging it in a chiding 'no no' gesture.

Sasuke blinked, before snickering.

"It isn't _that_ funny you bitch!" Naruto protested peevishly.

"You've been scolded like a kid by your own summon." Sasuke chuckled. "Sure as hell it is."

"Fuck you." Naruto grumbled, only to stop as the mermaid walked up to them, a displeased look on her face.

She looked at Naruto with disapproval, before sighing loudly and gently taking away the sword from his hands, inspecting it for a long moment with almost minute scrutiny.

Sasuke observed the summon with interest for a moment, before raising her eyebrow and giving Naruto a questioning look.

"Don't ask me." He shrugged. "I have no idea."

Seemingly finally satisfied, the siren nodded to herself, wiping off the last bits of oil still on the blade, before raising it and pointing at it with her free hand.

She waved the blade a few times, before tapping it once and hefting it over her head.

"What is she-?" Sasuke's eyes widened as Keisei brought the sword down on the stone - only the blade never touched it. Instead, a thin, blurred stream of water erupted from the edge, slicing a long, hair-thin line into it.

The duo stared as Keisei looked at her handiwork critically, before waving the sword at the small embers still burning at the edges of the spring, the rest of the moisture putting them out with a soft hiss.

The siren nodded to herself, obviously pleased, before putting the sword back in Naruto's hands, bowing to him with a smile and flipping back into the large hot spring, almost radiating smugness.

Naruto and Sasuke blinked, looking at each other. Sasuke was first to break the silence.

"What the hell was that?" She asked incredulously.

"I think she just made fun of us." Naruto concluded thoughtfully after a moment.

"No, _really_?" Sasuke deadpanned. "Anymore pearls of wisdom you'd like to share, o great sage?"

"Actually, yes." Naruto sat back on the now-cut stone, pulling out another cloth and returning to restoring the sword. "Your yukata's burning."

"...wha-?" Sasuke blinked, before looking down at the embers slowly eating away at the hem of her precious red yukata "Sonova-!"

* * *

Hana rubbed her eyes, before pausing and sniffing.

"Did someone burn something?" She asked sleepily, only to blink as Sasuke growled. "What's with her?"

"Oh I don't know." Naruto shrugged. "You know that fiery temper of hers."

Sasuke's eyebrow twitched.

"Ah." Hana nodded, before turning to look at Sasuke, who was sitting in a rather skimpy yukata that seemed to lack most of its bottom, barely reaching past her thighs. "Whoa. Looking hot today or what?"

A china cup in Sasuke's hand cracked under her grip.

"I _hate_ you both _so much_ right now." She hissed through gritted teeth, stabbing her chopsticks into a large piece of meat angrily.

"...huh?" Hana blinked, looking at Naruto. "What got her spitting fire so early in the morning?"

The blond choked on his bread stick before laughing hysterically, while Sasuke's eyebrow twitched madly.

The Inuzuka woman just stared at the duo, scratching her head, before shrugging and pouring herself a bowl of miso.

Honestly, she would never understand those two.

* * *

Naruto peered at the blade critically, inspecting it for rust or any blemishes, only to nod as he found none. Carefully, he wiped away every bit of oil, letting the weapon shine on its own fully for the first time in years, if not decades.

He blinked, noting the delicate luster of the edge, almost rainbow-like in its quality at some point.

"Aren't you a beauty." The jinchuuriki said with wonder.

This wasn't simply 'some' Yukigakure blade - it was one of the ginrin blades, an extremely rare weapon that was awarded by Snow Country daimyo to exceptional warriors as a symbol as much as a weapon.

Those were no show pieces - those were in the rare, masterwork class of weapons capable of going toe-to-toe with chakra blades without a mark on them as long as treated right. It was also, judging by the length and shape of the blade and the hilt, a very old one, probably predating any of the ninja villages easily by a century or two.

"How the _hell_ did a first class lady like you end up in that moron's hands?" Naruto shook his head with a sigh. "Hmm. I wonder..."

The blond peered at the weapon for a long moment.

"Well, can't hurt to try, I guess..." he murmured, rising the blade so that the hilt was at the level of his eyes, before allowing the weapon to point forward horizontally.

"Now, tell me your name..."

He rapped his knuckles at the bottom of the hilt in quick succession with his fingers coated in chakra, before tapping the blade once, causing it to vibrate minutely and slicing his hand on it, his blood marking the edge.

A soft, chiming sound resounded, causing Naruto to smile as the steel developed a crimson, scale-like pattern for a briefest moment, the upper part of the hilt where tsuba would have been, revealing a simple kanji pattern hidden beforehand.

Naruto blinked.

"...Kagai?" He said incredulously. "You were named 'red lights district'?"

The pattern on the sword seemed to shine with pride, its chime dying into faint buzz that became quieter as the pattern became blurry only to vanish completely a moment later.

"Heh. Can't say they didn't name you properly." Naruto smiled, spinning the blade once. "You are a beautiful one, aren't you? A little on the thin and delicate side at a first glance yet sharper than a razor. A mischievous beauty hiding a lustful smile that cuts _deep_... oh yeah, I can see _that_!" He chuckled, before sheathing it. "I'll get you some proper saya and tsuba once we're back home, I promise."

"You know, talking to yourself ain't a good sign." Hana sat on the veranda, offering him a bottle of sake. "Talking with your sword even less so."

"Hey, swords need love too." He said with shrug, taking the offered bottle.

"What were you doing anyway?" She sniffed. "Oil again?"

"For the sword." Naruto waved the blade for emphasis. "Isn't she a beauty?" He grinned, tapping the blade once. "I got her off a scumbag yak who didn't know what the had. Fuckin' shithead didn't even bother to care for a cutie like her properly. Pissed me off like hell, that." He scowled.

"Heh. Isn't that a love at first sight." Hana raised an eyebrow. She rarely got to see him so affectionate - it was as if the sword was some hurt puppy that needed love and care. "I thought the pervert girl was the one with the blade fetish and here you go, waxing poetic about it."

"It isn't like that." Naruto frowned, looking at the weapon. "This sword... it is a very good weapon. Someone forged her long ago and since then she cut and defended no matter what... it was like she loved unconditionally, you know?" He rubbed the hilt gently.

"She never failed, never broke - she kept on loving and then someone... some fuckin' asshole just _spits_ on all that and throws it all away, treating her like _trash_ when she has so much to her... it just pisses me off!" He growled.

"She ain't _trash_, she's no junk - she has so much more to give if someone lets her. Look at her!" He extended the weapon to her. "Look at the edge, at the luster, at the weight... she's _perfect_! All she needed was a bit of attention, a tiny bit of appreciation and love and look - you could go to a dozen of shops on this island and not find one blade that can match her!"

The Inuzuka woman blinked a few times, staring at her friend with astonishment.

"You are a good man, blondie." She said finally, smiling softly. "A good man."

"Well, yeah." He nodded sagely. "I am damn awesome!"

"You know?" Hana chuckled. "Sometimes you just might be."

* * *

"Hmm..." Sasuke's feather light touch danced on Naruto's shoulder, leaving traces of lingering heat. "Those cuts seem to have healed nicely..." She traced a fine, white line on the blond's shoulder. "In a day or two you won't have even a scar from the looks of it. Not that I expected anything else, of course."

"Well, the furball earns her keep." Naruto shrugged, shivering slightly as the balm-like heat became bitingly freezing for a moment. "...yow! Watch it!"

"Don't move." Sasuke pressed her palm to Naruto's bare back, frowning as a constant stream of softly glowing green washed over the blond's skin. "Hmm. Now this is... strange." The kunoichi frowned, allowing her Sharingan to manifest for a moment to gaze at the chakra flow, before letting it vanish again. "_Interesting_..." She murmured.

"Hey, I am freezing here!" The jinchuuriki protested, shivering slightly as he reached for his gi top, only to have it swatted away with a not particularly gentle slap.

"Stop that." The Uchiha said absently, before grabbing his wrist, pressing her thumb into a space between his thumb and index finger, sending a chakra spike into the meridian and causing the jinchuuriki to freeze and drop down like a sack of potatoes.

"...whoa..." Naruto breathed, his eyes glazed over. "That was... _really_ weird."

Sasuke stared at her patient thoughtfully, before helping her friend up.

"I'd say." She murmured.

"So." Naruto looked at Sasuke expectantly. "What's the verdict, doc?"

"Aside from 'terminally stupid'?" She raised an eyebrow.

Naruto chuckled, rubbing his neck sheepishly.

"Well, the purely physical damage is recovering nicely, the wounds are mostly healed. The most of internal damage is doing all right, though you'll feel it for the next few days still. Your chakra system, however..." Sasuke shook her head, pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

"I can honestly say it's been a long time since I have seen a mess like _that_. It almost looks like someone tried to burn a... a tattoo of a different chakra system all over your coils, only then changed their mind and opened most of your celestial gates turning their power _inwards_." The kunoichi took a long, deep drag.

"It has also some weird... fringe. It is dense, sort of like Kyuubi's chakra, but lacks the bite or the power. It just sits there, not doing much of anything and fading rather quickly." She frowned, looking at Naruto with interest. "What the hell did you do?"

"To be honest, I have no idea." The jinchuuriki admitted. "I was completely out of chakra there but Raika just... kept on going." He shrugged helplessly. "Tsunade tried to... I think take control of it, though I don't exactly know _how_, and the sword was, oddly enough, responding. Then it all went to hell." He winced. "Next thing I know the blade goes mad and the furball starts throwing a tantrum. The rest is... hazy. Claws, blood and some flashes. Nothing really coherent until I found myself in the forest."

Sasuke stared, blinking.

"Wait." She said with disbelief. "You mean you went berserk and high on Kyuubi's power... only to run?"

The jinchuuriki grimaced, causing Sasuke's lips to twitch.

"Hey now..." Naruto whined "That's mean you basta- ow!" He waved his palm frantically. "What was that for?!"

"Bitch." Sasuke waved her finger, still crackling with residue of a low-powered Raiton jutsu with a smirk. "How many times do I have to tell you, hmm?"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever." He grumbled. "If you're playing doctor, you could at least do it properly, you know! Your bedside manner really sucks." He paused for a moment. "Bitch." He added graciously.

"Oya?" Sasuke's smirk widened a fraction. "Aren't you eager."

Naruto frowned, before throwing Sasuke a withering look.

"Ha ha." He drawled. "It is to laugh. I meant _real_ doctor."

"Why, Naruto." Her face became a picture of innocence. "Whatever else could you mean?" She paused, before her hand touched her lips in a picture-perfect image of scandalized lady, blushing in a way that would make actresses envious. "Kyaaa! You _pervert_!"

The young ninja blinked owlishly.

"I knew it!" She said, hiding behind a fan. "Those base desires.... you finally show your real face! And to think we shared rooms and..." She paused in mock horror. "We... you... you did _it_, didn't you?!" Tears shone in the onyx eyes. "You took advantage of me... of that opportunity to ravage the bountiful curves of my virginal body...! You... you _beast_! Now I won't be able to get married anymore!"

Naruto stared at her silently for a long moment, before sighing softly.

"There isn't nearly enough alcohol on this island to make this right." He muttered.

"And now you wish to escape into alcohol!" She pointed her fan at him accusingly. "It won't be that easy, you scoundrel. I will have you take responsibility for your deeds! I will have you take responsibility properly!"

"You do know that this is your war fan, right?" Naruto said dryly. "And that it is kinda sharp?"

"Well, I was making a point." Sasuke shrugged.

"Well, make point with something else." The young genin grumbled. "That thing is way too sharp, you know?"

"It makes for a convincing argument." Sasuke smirked. "What, scared?"

"Fuck yeah!" Naruto admitted without hesitation, eying the swaying weapon. "Especially after most of the day spent drinking!"

"Hey now." The kunoichi frowned. "I'll have you know I am a master of tessenjutsu! No matter how much I drink, I can control it perfectly." She spun it elegantly a hair's breath from Naruto's face. "See?"

"Watch it!" He tried to duck on reflex, only to end up sliding down. He was sitting, so it wasn't like he'd fall far, but sometimes man acts before he thinks, especially when falling. So, like every reasonable person, he grabbed whatever he could to arrest his fall. Or whomever in this particular case.

The shoji picked that particular moment to slide open.

"Hey guys, I've been wondering if we could-" Hana froze mid-word, staring.

Naruto, only in his pants, glared at disheveled Sasuke, her yukata rather open and loose as she heaved under him.

"If you say 'kyaa' or 'be gentle' now, someone is going to _die_." He warned the kunoichi darkly.

Sasuke's eyes glinted, causing the genin to eye her suspiciously.

"I may be unskilled, but please take care of me from now on." She said demurely, her widening smirk contrasting with the tone in almost unholy fashion.

Naruto slumped, letting his forehead hit the floor right next to Sasuke's shoulder with a groan.

"...mugyuu..."

* * *

Uchiha Madara sat on a backless chair, his back slouched forward as he leaned towards a large window offering a rather misty view of acres of pine forest the ancient Uchiha stronghold was located in.

"Are you sure?" He asked finally, not turning back to the flickering image of the projection behind him.

Itachi's image said nothing, but then nothing needed to be said.

"It is hard to believe someone would be able to beat your Mangekyo, even if she is another Uchiha." Madara murmured thoughtfully. There was little exaggeration in that - Itachi was a true prodigy and his Sharingan was uncommonly strong. Not as strong as Madara's, but then he had yet to meet his doujutsu's match. Pain could brag about his Rinnegan all he wanted, but the truth was Madara forgot more about doujutsu than the crazy brat ever would know, Rinnegan or not.

If Itachi's Tsukuyomi was beaten... to be honest, he never expected anything short of another Tsukuyomi to be its match. Not that there weren't genjutsu out there that could do roughly the same, but because the Sharingan should have, by all rights, broken any genjutsu.

Of course, there was always a possibility the woman was using her Sharingan all along and simply confused Itachi, but that wasn't much better. The fact she toyed with the young shinobi like one would with an unruly child was bad enough in Madara's opinion. It opened a very uncomfortable box and he had a sneaking suspicion that the owner's name was Pandora.

This wasn't some isolated incident he could ignore - she clearly knew she wasn't facing Itachi in the flesh. More, she toyed with him, mocked him and baited him with knowledge she wasn't supposed to posses. Knowledge that no one beside Madara should posses.

The old Uchiha wasn't foolish - knowledge was power. He did not share power beyond what he had to. How had she known? Who _was_ she? Wasn't he the one who discovered the arcane might of the Mangekyo? How did she, how could she know what she did?

"So, in essence, you have been defeated without even a hint of effort and learned nothing." Madara said blandly.

"I have learned as much as one could in such a situation." Itachi riposted calmly.

"If by 'situation' you mean an utter failure then I would agree." Madara's voice was laced with irony.

"The odds have been weighted heavily against us." The Uchiha renegade shrugged slightly, his calm facade never wavering.

"It is amazing you can let such a defeat go so calmly." The ancient Uchiha mused, looking at the fog-smothered pines below.

"Defeat is not death. I shall learn from it." On occasion, even Madara found Itachi's calm monotone irritating - the boy did have emotions, he knew it well, but something about Itachi was just... different. He wasn't nearly as detached as he pretended to be, but his mind worked a little bit differently, as Madara had found early on.

One of them was Itachi's often-morbid sense of humor that seemed utterly cryptic until one carefully analyzed the situation and the young man's words regarding it. Of course it took all fun out of the joke, whatever it might have been once one understood what the renegade Uchiha meant. Strangely enough, that in turn appeared to amuse Itachi.

"How nice for you." Madara said dryly. "See that you learn well or there might not be a next time."

"I intend to." For a moment a shadow of a smirk danced in the corner of Itachi's mouth.

Madara, with his back to the projection, never noticed it as the illusion flickered yet again. Instead, he looked on the pine tree forest, pondering this new wrench in the gears.

"Do not engage her again for now." He said finally. "We shall gather information first."

"I lack leads as it is." The younger man said with a slight shrug. "What of that bijuu?"

"It is not a bijuu." Madara corrected him. "The bijuu are all accounted for."

"It is no human either." Itachi riposted.

"You'd be surprised how common that is." Madara snorted slightly, causing Itachi to blink once. "You are still young, boy." Madara murmured, as if to himself. "For now follow the orders you were given."

"I thought she would be a priority?" The young renegade raised an eyebrow slightly.

"This organization already has its priorities - I will not abandon them for one woman, Uchiha or not. We can deal with her in time." He turned to the projection standing in the corner. "Who knows, we just might gain an ally."

"As you wish." Itachi's voice was perfectly polite, but it didn't fool the older man at all.

The projection flickered and Madara frowned.

There was something strange about-

"Should I hand Kakuzu the commission for another cloak?" He asked curiously.

"No. I merely chose not to wear it right now." The younger man said calmly. "It is rather conspicuous."

"Ah." Madara nodded.

"Besides, given the reactions of young women and the gathered research material, it is a serious hindrance in getting laid." Itachi added thoughtfully.

"I see..." Madara started nodding again, before pausing. "...what?"

"It apparently doesn't show off my bishounen physique enough." Itachi said calmly. "For now, forgive me. I must go and find more research material to assure that my preparations are complete."

The illusion flickered before vanishing, leaving the great Uchiha Madara blinking at the empty room for a long while.

* * *

Far away from the fortress another man sat, staring blankly forward. In an ironic way, he was a reflection of ancient Madara, clad in a similar cloud-patterned cloak and possessing a unique doujutsu of his own, even though their looks differed.

Of course looks were only skin-deep and motivations were where the true rift between Pain, the nominal leader of Akatsuki and Madara, its founder, really showed itself. The very same rift was the reason Pain was sitting in a comfortable chair staring blankly forward at the place where the astral image of Uchiha Itachi was mere moments before.

Madara was old - ancient for both a shinobi and a human - and with that age came many skills and powers others would deem improbable even for a shinobi. For all of his skills, however, for all of his power and experience he did have a fatal flaw, one shared by each of his descendants - the fatal, unreasonable Uchiha pride.

It was, ironically, the very same pride that started him on his current path, the same one that caused him to become a bitter outcast, the very same pride that convinced him his experience and power were the ultimate trump card that allowed him to stay three steps ahead.

Or so he thought.

Not to say that finding a way to tap into that private communication jutsu had been easy, but then Madara did give a similar one to Akatsuki and Konan was taught by a seal master once, in times gone by. It took a lot of time and effort but now it paid off in spades as far as Pain was concerned.

"A fourth Uchiha..." Konan leaned back in her own chair across Pain. "One both stronger than Itachi and outside of Madara's control... incredible."

The man nodded once, deep in thought. The event was significant, not just because of the rarity of Uchiha nowadays. Madara kept tabs on all Uchiha, biding his time and engineering a meticulous web for decades. The mysterious woman was not only a complete enigma to the old man, but spoke of him like one would about an arrogant fool overstepping his bounds. Though it might have been that infamous Uchiha arrogance at work.

It might have been the ruse, of course, but given how she seemed to have handled Itachi, Pain did not believe so. From the young renegade's faithful and accurate report she did not seek a confrontation - if anything she was annoyed by it. Not threatened or disturbed, but just that - annoyed. Given how she handled herself, Pain could very well see why.

Not to mention all those... other factors. The unshackled, unaccounted for bijuu, or its equivalent, was interesting enough, but to posses a soldier capable of fighting Kisame? Even a weakened Kisame? Oh, that bore watching. So far he needed Madara - there was no way around that. It was the old man's experience and resources that allowed for Akatsuki to operate like it did and so far Pain lacked the power base sufficient for that. Hanzo alone was a considerable problem - old or not, Pain still wasn't fully comfortable taking the man on and he didn't trust Madara enough to consider using Akatsuki for that. Not that Madara would have agreed or Pain asked. Pain didn't like asking for anything, especially when he could simply take it instead.

But one day there would come a time when Madara had to be dealt with like a disgusting remnant of the old world that he was, of that there was no doubt. Having an ally capable of taking out Madara's pawns at Pain's leisure would go a long way towards fulfilling the Rinnegan master's own ambitions.

"That woman could be very useful." Mused the redhead.

"Or dangerous." Konan said calmly. "Those connections of hers... I don't like it."

Pain raised an eyebrow, looking at his childhood... friend? She was that once, he supposed. Nowadays... nowadays he purged himself of useless emotions like that. She was his ally, his tool and that was what mattered. A trusted tool, though. However mighty he was he learned early on that one could not do it all alone - even if one possessed several bodies.

"You think her a part of some organization?" He asked thoughtfully.

"Maybe. It is clear that she isn't working alone at least." The paper mistress nodded. "Also her appearance is... troubling. She is clearly well informed and used to staying in the shadows, so why reveal herself like that?" Konan tapped her fingers at the chair's armrest, frowning thoughtfully. "Killing Sunflower's daimyo... at first it looks to be of little consequence, but there was a purpose behind it, I am sure of it. Aida had.. connections because of his smuggling operations. His death is bound to make some waves."

"It is of little consequence for now." Pain said calmly. "We have more important matters to attend to."

Konan looked at her childhood friend for a long moment, before nodding slowly.

"As you wish." She said blandly.

"Indeed." Pain stood up, before turning and walking away. Konan watched her comrade go until he vanished behind the doors, before frowning.

Pain might have been incredibly strong, but he was taking it too lightly and she couldn't shake off the impression there was something at work they couldn't quite see. In her trade, things that you couldn't see often ended up being lethal.

Konan frowned, her fingers tapping a staccato on the armrest.

She had a feeling that Aida Omezu's death was not what it seemed. Although there was no proof, Konan's instincts, honed over the years of shadowy struggle for dominance, told her something was very wrong with this picture, and she was inclined to agree.

She clearly needed to know more. Much more.

This was not going to be easy however. Unless Madara came out with the information himself, she had to be very careful about how she went about the task as to not give him any reason to be suspicious. It was the last thing she wanted, or needed.

'As if avoiding the villages' intelligence agencies wasn't hard enough.' She thought tiredly, closing her eyes.

But the matter already took root in Konan's mind and the kunoichi knew that the longer it was allowed to flourish, the more irritating it was going to become. Not to mention she wasn't going to be strangled by branches of it once it grew too big to control.

First however she needed a plan and a way to secure herself some resources, getting which wouldn't be too easy. But then being Pain's partner allowed her a certain degree of latitude and freedom, both of which would prove useful. There was no need to bother him with details, after all.

Konan felt a familiar, faint feeling welling inside her. She might have followed Pain's vision, but she was still a kunoichi and the last few years had been rather boring. While the disruption, however minor, of their plans was not welcome, a bit of entertainment to break her ennui a bit most certainly was. Especially if it might draw a valuable ally to their cause or deny Madara his prize.

Despite herself, the kunoichi smiled faintly.

Risky or not, that whole affair just might prove an interesting diversion.

* * *

TBC...

* * *

*

Glossary:

Kageuchi Batto Ryu : inside darkness draw style

Kosen: arc

Zaihou: a trasure, precious posession

Girin: silver scale

Kagai: red lights district

*


	11. Chapter 11

Well, here it is. It had been finished for a while, but it gets posted for various reasons. It's a bit longer than other chapters so it should compensate for the delay. Word of warning: this chapter is full of technobabble, but it is necessary to set things up for the things down the line. It is also slower and ocasionally a bit weird, but since half of the chapter is essentially the set up for the winding up spiral of paranoia that will be introduced later on it is to be expected. I could have probably made it shorter but I really didn't feel like it. This and chapter 12 will conclude the road trip - the consequences of this little jaunt in search of booze, sex and cheap thrills are going to be far reaching and will come back to haunt them later on.

Thanks go to MageOhki, Griever, Nightelf, Vasey, Cornuthaum and Typhonis for the useful comments, as well as to TFF for general support. You know who you all are.

Edited by Skelethin.

* * *

Reload

Chapter 11

* * *

"Make Believe"

* * *

Lazy - that was the best way to describe the day in Naruto's opinion.

The sun was hammering down relentlessly - so relentlessly in fact that most of the people decided to hide away from the scorching rays. The usually frantic pace of Akasango slowed down to a crawl, only to stop, ask itself what the fuck was it doing out and decide to go back to the shade to sip cold beer and take occasional catnaps.

The interior of Golden Sparrow was pleasantly cool, at least comparing to the outdoors, and the shade was easy to come by. Keisei became a hit with the servant girls after they overcame their initial shock, both because of the mermaid's nice disposition and her abilities in the water department.

The siren herself didn't mind, welcoming the company with a ready smile and cheerful curiosity. Sometimes Naruto wondered if she was lonely - she certainly liked to hang close by him more often than not. On the other hand, she _was_ his creation and sort of ran on his chakra...

'...or does she?' The blond frowned thoughtfully. 'Initially, yes, but she stayed for the last week... and I don't remember summoning her again. Hmm. I wonder... she does have that replenishing seal, but it isn't quite _that_ efficient... an environmental boost? It is an island, so that would make some sense. Especially after we spent some time at sea. Hmm... gotta check that.'

Maybe - just maybe mind you - he should have ran some long-term tests instead of cackling like mad and going off on a three week drinking binge after finishing her.

'Come to think of it, that would _so_ explain why she likes mead.' Naruto pondered. 'Given I did those adjustments drunk outta my head... but still... eh.'

He gave up in disgust. It was the testament to his focus he could recall most of his scientific formulas - even the beginner ones - but some things tended to... blur in his memory. Too many years, too many Kage Bunshin and too much multi-tasking left him with a rather... odd memory in some places. He let it blur together - 'let' being a good word for it. He once tried to remember _everything_ and the results were... not pretty.

Mad he occasionally was, crazy he often acted and he'd be the first to admit that sane he was not, but there was crazy and there was Crazy. He'd rather minimalize the latter, thank you very much. He had enough of it with Sasuke around.

'It is a good crazy, though.' he smiled lazily, eying the Uchiha heiress clad in a rather loose, extremely thin yukata resting on her body more like a suggestion of clothing than anything else. He'd be disturbed, but he had been drinking since the early morning, the heat was atrocious and he quite simply didn't feel like it.

Instead he settled on sipping yet another refreshingly sour drink with a little umbrella in it and dividing his time between one of the scrolls liberated from Zukotsu temple and enjoying the scenery.

Admittedly, more often than not the scenery won, but that was simply because the yukata was nearly see-through and Sasuke chose to lay on her side, chin propped on her bent palm, the other hand absently sketching something on a large sheet of paper strewn before her, presenting Naruto with an ideal view that just never got boring given how her body moved with each brush and stroke on the paper.

Judging by the small smirk occasionally appearing in the corner of Sasuke's lips he knew she was well aware of it. Hell, he'd bet she picked the angle just for such a reason. At the moment he not only didn't care, but would actually applaud. Occasionally the little bitch could be surprisingly thoughtful and sweetened the deal a helluva lot.

Especially given that Hana vanished somewhere with one of the younger maids - for what reason Naruto could only guess, but preferred not to. After all she just might come back without a hint of any sweaty and strenuous yet pleasurable activities and prove him wrong, and he'd just be sad then.

Sasuke was safer that way. And hell, it was just plain weird still, no matter how long had it been. Just plain weird.

He didn't complain, though. Now, at least. Too much of a hassle and to be quite honest he was a bit drunk. Keeping that 'white noise' up was about as far as he was going to work today. The jinchuuriki did it just because Sasuke got pissed when wind disturbed her calligraphy and he sure as hell wasn't going to close the windows. So they compromised. Adapting the little counter-surveillance jutsu so that it gave a steady, cool breeze that didn't hinder Sasuke's writing efforts was easier than actually moving anywhere else. Besides, he liked the view.

He could live with a knowing smirk or two.

Naruto chuckled, causing Sasuke to raise an eyebrow in that oh-ever-so-slightly mocking way, encouraging the seal master just to chuckle a bit more, which in turn made her go back to the sketch/calligraphy/whatever-the-hell-it-was with a bit of her own.

Yeah. It was sort of like that. And all hush-hush, say no more because it was more amusing this way. It gave them something to bicker over on rainy days. Or not so rainy. Whatever.

"I knew it." Naruto blinked, shook out of his reverie less by words and more by the familiar 'a-HA!' note in Sasuke's voice. There was that triumphant, arrogant and self-assured quality that he learned to spot after the years. The tone of someone who was magnanimously willing to enlighten the masses - very Sasuke.

"Your little incident with Tsunade." She explained, putting away a thin brush. "I crunched some numbers and let me tell you this is some interesting work. And a real piece of work by the by, but interesting all the same." She tapped her cheek thoughtfully. "Not that I understand _why_, to tell the truth, since it is kind of counter productive but-"

"The last time I checked, mind reading wasn't among my talents." Naruto pointed out lazily, before frowning. "Well, sort of."

"You actually managed to get that stuff stolen from the Yamanaka to work?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Not... exactly." Naruto grimaced. "Not enough to really do anything useful with it."

"Too complicated?"

"Too chaotic in execution, with too rigid start-up conditions." Naruto corrected. "Yamanaka are liars of the n-th degree - their little 'trick' is a fucking bloodline limit of the highest order, no matter what they say."

"Hmm. Never really thought of it that way... but it actually makes sense." Sasuke mused, before shaking her head. "Anyway, back to the problem at hand. I can safely say that neither Kyuubi, nor Raika or Tsunade were responsible for this little berserk episode."

"Oh?" The jinchuuriki leaned forward with interest. "So what was?"

"Well, I should rather say they weren't the ones to blame directly." Sasuke corrected. "The main culprit responsible for that, however, is this." She pointed at his stomach.

Naruto blinked, looking down for a moment.

"My seal?" He asked with curiosity.

Sasuke nodded.

"I have no idea _why_." She frowned. "I suspect I know _how_ though." The Uchiha pointed to the large, complicated diagram covered by a bunch of lines and spots. It was so densely crossed over with various interconnected lines and arcs it took Naruto a moment to realize he was seeing the central part of his very own chakra system, though one looking decidedly... odd.

"...what the hell is that?" He leaned over the paper, tracing a faint, incomplete line seemingly shadowing some of his main chakra pathways. "For that matter, what the hell is THAT?" Naruto scratched his head, trying to reconcile the image of his own, well-memorized chakra system with the convoluted mess he was seeing.

"I told you it was a goddamn mess, didn't I?" Sasuke rolled her eyes. "That faint line? That's the 'fringe' I told you about about. The thin ones are that 'tattoo'. As for the rest..." She hesitated for a moment, biting her lip. "I think it is your seal with some of Kyuubi's power. Sort of."

"Kyuubi's power doesn't work that way." The jinchuuriki said sceptically. "I mean, the furball barges through with helluva lot of power, while this is... I dunno, almost not-there. Elegant, even. Kind of." He cocked his head, trying to work out the intricate image. "It looks more like a... I dunno... an expansion array? Like the summoning one." he paused. "Not exactly, but the outer edge... yeah. Sort of. But Kyuubi's work this is not."

"I know, believe me." Sasuke snorted. "I did the calculations five times. It didn't make sense until I started to incorporate the seal and the circumstances into the equation And this, of course." She pointed at the fringe.

"That strange chakra." Naruto nodded. "I wondered about it. At first I thought it was Tsunade's, but it is too potent."

"Actually you were right on both accounts." The Uchiha heiress smirked.

"It can't be Mokuton." the seal master riposted, frowning. "It doesn't look a thing like-"

"Naruto, I know exactly what Mokuton looks like." The brunette rolled her eyes. "You have been only obsessing about it for the, oh, a few decades or so. Trust me, I know all about how Mokuton looks like. Doesn't change the fact it is there and it isn't yours. But no, it isn't Mokuton either."

"And how can you be so sure?" Naruto raised an eyebrow. "We both know that Mokuton reacts to bijuu. That kind of exposure might have kick started it, or something along those lines. This is not nearly close to exact science and you know it."

"I'd agree, aside from the fact that if it was Mokuton?" Sasuke tapped the diagram in the central place where a spiral-like form with countless thin vines stretching from it rested. "It'd have done just that - reacted, especially given how much of Kyuubi's chakra you had running in your system then. This one does _nothing_. It is just slowly fading away. It isn't disturbed by your chakra flow, it doesn't really disturb anything in turn - it just _is_."

Naruto's eyes widened a fraction.

"I didn't think about that." He admitted after a moment.

"Missed the forest for the trees?" The kunoichi smirked. "That's not like you."

"Yeah, yeah... gloat all you want." Naruto grumbled. "So what is it anyway?"

"I have no idea." Sasuke shrugged. "I do know how it got there, though."

"Hit me." Naruto chugged his drinkbefore pouring two more glasses.

"It is actually really simple." Sasuke accepted the offered glass with a nod. "Unlike other jinchuuriki seals that are made to allow access to chakra on demand, yours was set to mix the fringes clearly first, direct access being a very distant second. The thing is, the energy has to come from somewhere, right?"

Naruto shrugged.

"There is a siphon link. Nine of them, to be exact, as you well know."

"Yes, but before it mixes it has to go through somewhere, it needs a link, a bridge so to speak, or it'd have fried your developing chakra coils when you were an infant." Sasuke pointed out. "And it is an active, adaptable process - it isn't like you get the same amount of chakra all the time."

Naruto's eyes widened.

"...son of a bitch." He breathed. "Variable? That shit is actually _variable_?"

"Naruto, Kyuubi's chakra is a poison." She said looking at Naruto oddly. "Of course it is variable - that's the whole point. It is like the anti-poison training, making the body resistant by introducing the small, but steadily increasing dosages over time."

"I know _that_!" The jinchuuriki snapped. "Hell, I mapped most of that thing... well, what I could anyway, given how bitchy it is, but I didn't know it was so damn flexible."

"It isn't." Sasuke frowned. "And I am amazed we didn't see it before. I basically do the same when forcibly siphoning off yours to expand my chakra system. It is... well, the more advanced version of that. Logical."

"That would make sense, actually." The blond stirred the alcohol in his glass thoughtfully. "I mean it _is_ pretty hard stuff, so if I was sick or injured... shit. Limiting the amount is the most sensible thing in the world. Unless it was bad enough..."

"Like, say, healing factor working overtime and nearly lethal drain on chakra reserves?" Sasuke deadpanned, causing Naruto to wince.

"Yeah, yeah." He grumbled. "Rub it in, why won't you. Still... it explains the quirks in the sealing array that can be accessed."

"For tuning the seal, so to speak. Yes." The kunoichi sipped some alcohol. "It is there, essentially, to remove any possibility of breaking or halting the process. So whenever it is a trickle or a stream..."

"...I'll always get some." Naruto shook his head with a sigh. "Man, did he know how to fuck me over."

Sasuke said nothing, simply staring at the intricate diagram.

What was the point? They had already addressed that issue a long, long time ago when they learned what the seal really meant. There was no point in doing it yet again.

"So I understand where Kyuubi's power comes in - what's with that 'fringe' though?"

"I can only guess, to be honest." Sasuke admitted.

"Guess away." Naruto shrugged.

"My best guess is that when Tsunade tried to control the weapon she... harmonized with it. Or _it_ did with _her_, as strange as it seems. There was..." The kunoichi hesitated for a moment, frowning, "a sense of... compatibility, I guess."

"She said something along those lines." The seal master murmured thoughtfully. "I thought it was metaphorical but now I wonder..."

"Anyway. The bit of that damn Box tech," she glared at him and Naruto shrank away, laughing sheepishly "ensured you poured a lot of chakra into it. Then the seal reacted and..." Sasuke snapped her fingers. "You get a spark. The fact the sword was on the same wavelength meant that your chakra system all but put a welcome mat and opened the front doors wide."

"That kind of synchro is really damn hard to come by when people are trying, though." Naruto tapped his glass, deep in thought. "Raijin or no, it doesn't add up. Chakra reacts to another source of chakra in a volatile manner unless it is really tightly controlled and calm - it's one of the cornerstones of Hyuuga Jyuuken actually."

"Well, that most certainly wasn't calm." The woman rolled her eyes. "Maybe there is something in that 'old blood of the forest'..."

Naruto blinked, freezing.

"...holy shit..." He murmured dumbly. "Sasuke... that's exactly _it_."

The kunoichi quirked an eyebrow.

"You did discount Mokuton yourself, remember?"

"Mokuton, yeah, but... blood of the forest... blood of the forest..." Naruto murmured, familiar glint in his eyes. "Forest... growth... which means life..."

"Nature!" Sasuke breathed. "Then that fringe.... but how? Accessing natural chakra takes effort and time, not to mention help."

"Stop calling it 'chakra', dammit!" the scientist snapped. "Chakra is a mix of physical and spiritual power - natural energy isn't!"

"How am I supposed to call it, then?" Sasuke asked with a snort, causing Naruto's mouth to open, then close.

"You know... I never really thought about it." he admitted.

"Natural chakra it is, then." Sasuke shrugged, earning herself a withering glare. "Question is, what it is doing there, why it is even there in the first place and why is it-" Sasuke blinked, before looking at a diagram.

She stared at the faint, in paces almost invisible line for a long moment, her eyes widening.

"...Naruto..." Sasuke said slowly. "When we were on our way to Coral, you said that Shodai didn't use nature but it worked with him... how literal was that?"

"Completely." The blond responded without a moment of hesitation. "He didn't force it at all - any tree he made to grow was like natural. It was more like... I dunno, negotiating with... nature..." he trailed off, his eyes widening as he took in the diagram.

"Oh." The jinchuuriki said after a moment. "Oh my."

"And then some." Sasuke nodded slowly. "That's... really, really strange but..." She traced the occasionally faded lines. "If those lines aren't just some mess but actually simply lack the core and the receptive element..."

"Yeah... it is no wonder it just sits there doing nothing. It has nothing to 'grab' onto, so to speak." Naruto stared at the sketch dumbly. "I knew it was big but... holy shit. No wonder no one can really duplicate it - not when you have goddamn natural power interwoven with the very substance of your chakra on constant basis! It is like.. hell, like her spirit touches the very land she stays on! Incredible!" The jinchuuriki breathed. "That is simply without precedence but... it actually makes a lot of sense sense. A bijuu and a human, as incompatible as they are, can do it so why not with another source of living energy? Not like bijuu's power is chakra anyway..."

"But... how?" Sasuke murmured. "It isn't like you can just seal nature inside someone."

"Yeah. I have honestly no idea how it was done..." Naruto blinked. "...or if it was 'done' at all..." He said thoughtfully, before grabbing Sasuke's brush and filling out the faded line. "That's strange..."

"It looks... familiar." Sasuke frowned. "I can't quite place it, though..."

"It looks familiar because it damn well should - it looks helluva lot like one the one in Keisei's base array!"

The kunoichi looked at him questioningly.

"I didn't create that array." Naruto admitted. "It... sort of came on by itself when I fired Keisei up the first time. Like... I dunno, waves that leave marks on the sand, wind eroding a rock? Would make sense, actually... hmm..." Naruto rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I'd love to see how it was accomplished, though. I have never seen anything even close to that."

"It isn't like people using nature's power are all that uncommon." Sasuke pointed out wit ha raised eyebrow. "Granted, the method is a bit more... permanent than most, but-"

Naruto snorted.

"You don't get it, do you?" He grabbed a clean sheet of paper, painting a large circle. "Let's say this is chakra." He drew a line in the middle of the circle, cutting it in half, before coloring one and leaving the other blank. "Spiritual," he pointed to the blank half. "Physical. That'd be the ideal diagram, right?"

"Only we both know that fifty/fifty is pretty much ideal that is rarely true." The Uchiha heiress rolled her eyes "One type of energy usually at least has a lead on the other. Really, that's academy-grade stuff, Naruto."

"Exactly." The blond said with satisfaction, before drawing another circle, this time dividing it into three parts. Again he left one blank, one colored, and then grabbed a bit of yellow ink and poured it over the last part. "Then this would be the idea diagram for the usage of the nature's power, right?"

"Where are you going with this?" The kunoichi asked wit ha frown.

"The fact it is wrong." Naruto said bluntly. "Chakra is a mix. Nature's 'chakra' isn't chakra in the first place - it is another, similar energy source, but it isn't chakra. It isn't balanced enough to be like that." He pointed at a diagram. "Part of the difficulty with using the nature's power in the first place is that you need to have spiritual and physical in ideal balance, which is hard. Add another type of energy..." he shrugged.

"It can be done, though."

"Not well." Naruto snorted. "Besides, this isn't nearly as useful as it might seem. Natural power has a bent towards certain things - it is piss-poor for powering most 'external' uses - in fact it doesn't like to be used externally all that much in the first place. Enhancing your body is probably the best and most efficient way of using it, and it is still a bitch without some kind of external way to balance it."

"Ah." Sasuke nodded thoughtfully. "I did notice something like that now that you mention it."

"Anyway, the _real_ diagram for the use of natural power in less-than-ideal conditions would look something like this." Again he drew a circle, cutting it in half, then cutting one of the halves further in half, leaving one blank and other black, while the rest of circle was colored yellow. "See any problem with the set-up?"

"Depending if this smaller size is accurate or simply used to picture the imbalance?"

"Think both." Naruto grinned. "Willing to tell me why?"

The kunoichi frowned, before shrugging.

"To control the extra power influx?"

"Bingo!" the seal master chuckled. "That is why so few ninja who know of it even bother with it. Aside from the fact that training without some kind of cheat sheet from hell is really annoying, controlling the flow constantly is a bitch. Add the fact it is seriously limited and not as flexible as pure chakra..." Naruto shrugged. "You'd need a very large chakra reserve in the first place to make any decent use of it. That, or near-perfect control that would put most medic nin to shame."

"The physical boost alone would make it worth the hassle." Sasuke said thoughtfully. "Also... natural power... it would mean that it'd be ideal for 'sinking' your presence in the environment. Ideal for spying."

"Heh." Naruto grinned. "Yeah. Well, that and battling disease, poison resistance, healing, rapport with animals, alchemy-"

"Alchemy?" Sasuke blinked.

"You avoid contaminating the compounds with minute additions of your chakra and get the most out of herbs." Naruto explained.

"Ah."

"Anyway. What Mokuton does, though, isn't like simply drawing some natural power in, for whatever reason. It is like.... adding some of nature's chakra permanently to your own, but not for a boost or extra power or anything like that. More like making nature a part of you and vice versa, if it makes any sense. A mokuton user has no need to balance or control nature's power - it comes... naturally." he grinned as the brunette groaned.

"A very nice theory, but how would you explain explain why Mokuton users aren't walking chakra conflagrations like the bijuu?" Sasuke asked after a moment.

"I told you - it isn't about 'power' - though I imagine it gives someone with Mokuton a very nice base start in the chakra department. But Mokuton isn't a hammer - it is subtler. It is like adding salt to ramen - the ramen doesn't become salt and it is still ramen but it tastes differently." The jinchuuriki explained patiently. "Mokuton is a little bit like that salt, only more... encompassing would be the word, I guess." He shrugged. "It isn't like I have all the answers, but Keisei's array is a little bit similar, come to think of it. More element-oriented, but... yeah, there are similarities. Which would make sense given I incorporated into her all I learned of Mokuton until then, and some things I could only guess about."

"...guess?" Sasuke's eyes narrowed. "Naruto... the last time you _guessed_ with seals-"

"It's not like she blew up, now did she?!" The seal master snapped.

"Which can be catastrophic in an on itself." Sasuke deadpanned. "Do have those failsafe seals ready. Just in..." Sasuke trailed off, looking at Naruto's carefully blank face, a sinkingly familiar feeling welling in the pit of her stomach. "...you _did_ incorporate some failsafe protocols, right?"

"...ah... well... you see..." Naruto laughed rubbing his neck nervously. "It is a funny story, actually..."

Sasuke stared for a long moment, before pinching the bridge of her nose slowly.

"Should I be ready to run screaming 'oh god oh god we're gonna die!'?" she asked with sigh.

"NO!" Naruto growled. "Sheesh...! She's perfectly safe, she is awesome, incredibly nice and an example of superb craft - there is absolutely no need to panic, dammit!"

"Yet." Sasuke deadpanned.

"Oh stop whining you goddamn over sensitive jerk!" Naruto huffed. "It is all well in hand and completely under control!"

"Should I remind you the last time you used those words in regards to an experiment?" Sasuke asked politely.

"That castle was fucking ugly anyway." The scientist said peevishly. "Not like anyone missed it."

"People did miss the mountain it used to stand on. Or that village next to said mountain. Or that forest next to said village or-" Sasuke started counting out.

"It is not _my_ fault the idiot built his palace on a volcano!" Naruto protested.

"Volcano which had been dormant for three hundred years." She pointed out with a smirk.

"I don't remember you complaining about that instant hotspring jutsu I developed out of it, though." The jinchuuriki snarked.

"Well, it is far superior to using katon to constantly heat your water in the field." Sasuke conceded thoughtfully.

"See? Benefits wherever you look." Naruto nodded sagely.

The Uchiha heiress chuckled softly before rising her pleasantly chilly drink. A jutsu, some kind of a trick, a seal? It would take at least one of those to keep it cool in this weather - cool enough to leave a track of condensing moisture on the glass regardless of the oppressive heat.

She leaned back, sipping it languidly, every bit of alcoholic beverage celebrated like some nectar. That it made already the loose yukata slide that bit more allowing Naruto to see that Sasuke most definitely didn't believe in tan lines was just an accident, of course.

"I have to admit, this is one fine mess." The kunoichi murmured thoughtfully, head on bent palm as she peered at the sketch and sipping the cold beverage absently.

"Interesting, though." Naruto grinned, pouring himself another glass.

Whoever said that alcohol helped to think was a goddamn liar, but it did help to let loose the reigns of his already rather slutty imagination. Not that he needed it, considering he could see the seals and concepts dancing just on the fringe of his vision, spinning like giant gears inside his head and begging to be let loose on the world, to consider that tempting, ever-so-sexy 'what if?' and turn it into reality.

His imagination was both a tease and a slut that way. But hell, he wasn't complaining! He was high on stuff of dreams, but he'd have it no other way.

"Oh you can say that again." Sasuke waved her empty glass pointedly. Naruto took the cue without more prompting, pouring her some more wine. "It is downright fascinating, come to think of it. I wonder... if it is nature... hmm..." She frowned. "Mokuton it is not, but what if... hmm..." Her fingers ran through several one-handed seals, allowing a bit of mist to gather, flowing over the paper, yet not wetting it at all.

"Chakra paper?" Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Sturdier, for one." Sasuke said absently.

"Ah, the wonders of chakra enhancement." Naruto chuckled. "Remember when you cut through that diamyo with his invitation?"

"He should have known better." Sasuke snorted. "I am no cheap entertainment for the likes of that worm."

"You know, no matter how long I've known you, that pride of yours is one of the most amazingly mercurial things ever." The jinchuuriki shook his head with amusement. "Sometimes you flat out demand to be regarded as... entertainment, and then you cut off people's head with their invitations for that. Where is the sense in that?"

"The sense is not in _when_ but with _whom_." She chuckled. "If you don't know that, then you don't learn well at all, moron."

"Haa..." The blond shrugged. "Maybe so. Maybe not. Right now, I'd rather get drunk."

"Coward." The kunoichi taunted, waving her glass to and fro lazily.

"Oh, I don't know." Naruto said mildly. "Do you see me running?"

"Like you can." The brunette smirked.

"Hey now... did you ever see something lame like that stopping me before?" He smirked. "I am the one who can make the impossible possible, dammit! Accept no substitutes!"

"Fakes are bad taste anyway." Sasuke shrugged

"Damn straight!" Naruto pointed his glass at Sasuke like one would a sword. "Besides, if they can't deliver, what good are fakes for anyway?"

"I could talk about such noble goals as serenity, balance, quiet..." The kunoichi started counting out.

"Yeah, helluva lot o' fancy words for boredom, right here." Naruto rolled his eyes.

"Oh please spare me that 'street rat' impression." Sasuke snorted with amusement.

"Hey now, don't go dissin' rats." Naruto protested indignantly. "Those buggers are smart like hell and born survivors! They waste nothing, know when to fight and when to take to shadows, can work together like a goddamn machine and..." He blinked. "Hey... they are sorta like... proto-ninja, or something! Awesome! I wonder if there is a rat summon out there somewhere? Now _that_ would be damn useful. Perfect spies, those guys." He pondered out loud, rubbing his chin.

"Now aren't you fickle." The Uchiha heiress taunted. "Be careful, or your sweet little mermaid will get jealous, hmm?"

"Hey now, that's just low." Naruto pouted. "She's my golden girl, my dragon princess in the palace under the sea and I am not like that idiot Urashima, eh? I won't mess it up. Don't you worry about that."

"Dragon princess... ha!" Sasuke laughed. "Does that make you the king? After all, that palace is yours, no? And even that accursed box... aren't you the one that put the secrets inside?"

"Secrets... haa. Who knows?" Naruto lazily balanced the Kagai shikomizue he grabbed out of his seal storage. "A lot of steel, certainly."

"Should I fashion you a bladed crown?" Sasuke raised an eyebrow mockingly. It was a very good mocking eyebrow - she spent years to perfect it and was particularly proud of it.

"A crown? Bah." The jinchuuriki grinned, spinning the weapon once, before sending it back. "I think I'll settle on armor, thank you." he paused, frowning. "But you can make it orange, yanno? It'd be all kinds of awesome that way."

"Tacky armor does not a king make." Sasuke pointed out with obvious distaste. "If you want to go tacky, at least try gold. It'd look far less ridiculous."

"Gold is fine too." Naruto nodded. "Not as good as orange, but that's shiny too, I guess."

"Shiny." Sasuke chuckled with amusement. Only Naruto would make armor out of gold just because it was 'shiny', if for no other reason. It was one of his more endearing qualities, overall. One of the more infuriating as well.

People thought she was obsessive, but between the two of them Naruto was far more of a zealot than she could bee on her worst or best day. If he liked something Naruto threw all of himself in whatever he did, no matter how outrageous or mundane. It was both amusing and occasionally honestly terrifying - the sheer amount of willpower the jinchuuriki had was probably his greatest strength, even though Naruto would probably disagree.

To be honest, Sasuke always knew Naruto was stubborn beyond belief - even before the whole mess started she knew that better than anyone. It took her friend's fixation on science, provoked in equal parts by curiosity, boredom and sheer, stubborn belief it can be done in a different way however to make Sasuke truly understand just _how_ determined.

Losing physical conditioning was a bitch, but at least Sasuke retained the memory. Not to mention that there were ways to cheat the body, both with the Sharingan and certain... other methods. Naruto, on the other, hand lost everything.

Tools alone were easy to replace - Sasuke was wealthy and if that wealth couldn't be used to help one's best friend, then what good was it? But some things were one-of-the kind, some made by Naruto himself, others acquired by truly mind boggling stunts. The experiments, the seals, the devices, the forges, the summons, the storages, the thousand and one things that took incredible amount of effort to make or obtain... Gone in a blink of an eye. Time and time again. No ifs, no buts - no way out.

And yet each time Naruto just shrugged, smiled and then went back to the lab to start anew from the scratch. Each and every time. It went beyond simply incredible into downright improbable around the time he started to create Keisei.

Naruto often said how he put much love and effort into the siren summon but Sasuke knew how true that was. Each time when the deadline approached, he knew - no matter how close he felt he was to a breakthrough he just _knew_... and then he lost it all. The sheer inevitability of that would have probably driven lesser men crazy, yet just a moment later there he was - re-crafting the seals, pushing the envelope stubbornly that tiny bit farther, knowing that in several months all he was working on so relentlessly would be gone and he'd be back to square one. Almost. And to him, that almost was enough.

That he would have to start from the scratch didn't matter to Naruto in the slightest - he had a vision, he had a dream and, as he had said before, such lame things like 'possible' or 'impossible' really didn't enter in the equation. If reality differed from Naruto's vision... well, too bad for reality. He'd bend it as far as it took to realize his dream and to hell with the word - nay, the very concept of 'impossible'.

'Calling him a 'king'... I guess it really is no joke, no matter how you look at it.' The kunoichi shook her head with amusement as Naruto pondered the ways of making a chakra-conductive lightweight full plate out of pure gold - and making it sufficiently shiny, of course.

She blinked.

'Did he just-?'

"Oh no." The kunoichi snapped. "You are _not_ engraving ramen bowls or noodles on it!"

"But-!" Naruto whined.

"No! The whole point would be to make it classy you numbskull!" Sasuke seethed.

"Hey, ramen is plenty classy!" The seal master protested, wincing as Sasuke shot him a withering glare. "...okay, okay. Seesh. Everybody's a critic..." He sulked.

"And I better not see any naruto disguised as a spiral either." She threatened in a tight voice.

"...but... but...!" Naruto slumped. "...crush my dreams, why don't you." He mumbled petulantly.

Sasuke eyed her partner for a long moment, pondering the problem before deciding a bit of mercy was in order.

"Think about it this way - it leaves a whole lot of room for engravings of a very curvy, very busty and very hot nature." She said finally, causing Naruto to perk up immediately.

"Well, I was thinking about that Tsunade chair, but that would be fine too... "he said thoughtfully. "So many nubile golden hotties hanging all over me...." The seal master grinned widely. "Hey, that'd be awesome - like my very own, personal slice of paradise! My golden harem! And I could even make them move and dance or do stuff if I put some work into it!"

"The unlimited harem works?" Sasuke smirked.

"That... actually, that sounds pretty cool." Naruto agreed with a chuckle. "It'd be a lot of work, but it'd look awesome!"

"Attractive, for sure." The Uchiha agreed with amusement.

"Hell, screw dancing - with enough seals I can-" Naruto paused as one of the maids breached the white noise sphere, blinking at the soft, cool breeze that hit her, before shaking her head and walking up to them with a bow.

"My apologies, Kusanagi-sama." The young woman said softly. "There is a message for you."

"Well, I'd like a massage more than a message..." The blond grinned, waging his eyebrows comically and causing the maid to smile back, a touch of blush on her cheeks. "but if I can't have what I like, I'll take what I can get, eh?" he took the letter from the tray. It was little more than a thin scroll - very utilitarian and bereft of anything resembling ornamentation.

Naruto glanced at the seal - as conspicuously featureless as the rest of the letter - before breaking it and unrolling the message.

"Well now..." He said with a blink. "Either those people think I am stupid, they are stupid, have balls made of titanium and a contingent of troops I am not aware of... or they are actually _honest_. I'm having trouble deciding which. All of the possibilities are almost equally funny save for the last one, which is simply hilarious."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow curiously.

"Our friends from Kumo apparently wish to meet." Naruto explained with amusement. "To finalize the transaction face to face, so to speak."

The raven tressed woman blinked several times.

"...I don't know if to laugh or admire the sheer audacity. Or idiocy." She said finally, tapping her cheek with one of her fans thoughtfully. "Which just might mean they are actually honest, hilarious as it might be."

"Well, not like I'll find out by sitting here..." Naruto grinned, standing up and stretching. "Can ya bring me a large enough bottle and my haori? It's too damn hot to go out there sober." He asked the maid.

"As you wish, Kusanagi-sama. Should I bring sake, ginju-shu or something stronger?"

"Ah, whatever suits yer fancy." Naruto slurred lightly, waving her away. "Just cold and a lot of it, mmkay?"

"I believe we have some chilled mead Chigusa-sama bought for Keisei-sama. But I do believe Keisei-sama will share." The girl smiled slightly.

"Fabulous girl! Golden girl! Ain't she just so awesome, Yasa-chan?" Naruto enthused, grabbing the maid and spinning her around, causing the young servant to squeal - in fright, glee or surprise Sasuke honestly couldn't say. "Keisei won't mind sharin' a bit."

"Do put her down, Kusanagi." Sasuke sighed with amused exasperation.

"Ah. Right." The jinchuuriki blinked, putting the somewhat dazed, flushed girl back on the floor, patting the creases on her kimono out and pushing a strand of hair that came undone from the girl's braid as he swung her around. The maid squeaked, blushing scarlet as Naruto's hands slid over her breasts and hips. "There. Good as new, yes?"

"Unless you want the poor dear to be completely useless for the next half an hour or so, do take your hands off of her." She slapped his wrist with her fan with amusement.

Some people were angry drunks, other people were sullen drunks - some even were mellow or party-loving drunks. Naruto was what she'd like to describe as a grabby drunk. As a physical person, the blond liked close contact in general - when drunk that trait grew exponentially. Especially given the fact he was also a horny, cheerful drunk.

"Only half an hour?" Naruto pouted. "Why, you wound me!"

"You do want that mead, don't you?" Sasuke pointed out.

"Ah. Right." Naruto snapped his fingers, before blinking as a shower of roses exploded from thin air. "...huh?"

Sasuke grabbed one, sniffing it carefully. It had a really intense, yet velvety fragrance, far from usual sweet smell - it was softer but had a more vibrant note to it.

"For me? You shouldn't have." She grinned.

"Well, if you like 'em..." Naruto said with a smile, before grabbing one and putting it carefully in the flushed, disoriented maid's hair. "Here. A flower for a flower."

"...ah... thank you?" The dazed maid touched the flower in her hair gingerly as she walked away.

"Aren't you happy." The Uchiha murmured with amusement, tucking the rose she held behind her ear.

"Hey, I am almost always happy." Naruto shrugged. "I'm here, I drink good booze with my best friend under the blue sky. What's not to be happy about?"

"Indeed." She raised her glass. "For life."

"For life." Naruto touched his glass to hers before they chugged the rest of the alcohol in unison.

"So." Naruto snatched his wide-sleeved, crimson haori (one of the compromises he and Sasuke could agree on, as long as it wasn't the blinding, fire-patterned one, or - even worse - the infamous lab coat) from the maid, who blinked as the cloth settled on the blond's shoulders with flourish.

It damn well better. Naruto spent long months learning how to put on clothes - especially wide, billowy ones - with the maximum use of the dramatic, if quite ridiculously overblown effect. Besides, Sasuke had a sneaking suspicion he learned how to sew just so he knew how to put the tiny Fuuton seals into them to make them do such properly.

The fact they flapped - billowed according to outraged Naruto - dramatically even when there was absolutely no wind present did support that theory quite nicely. As did several suspiciously focused bits of chakra flowing right under the hemline according to her sharingan.

"How do you feel about making a point and using it to poke their overblown egos a bit?"

"With you this drunk?" Sasuke snorted. "Oh please, spare me. Half of the time I'd have to look out for falling anvils or something equally ridiculous."

"...hey now. It was just that one time." Naruto pouted. "Besides, it was sorta cool."

"You weren't the one who had to avoid an anvil falling from a three-story building _mid air_." The kunoichi said flatly. "So any sort of 'cool' was rather lost on me then."

"You did say you wanted the bastard squashed." The seal master shrugged in a 'what can I do?' manner. "I aim to please."

"That's exactly what I am afraid of." Sasuke sighed. "Besides, I hate killing people when I drink good sake. It always tastes so... coppery afterwards." She wrinkled her nose in mild disgust. "I just managed to have Chigusa-san find some nice booze and I am not going to waste it."

"Hey now... who says anything about killin'?" Naruto swayed slightly, chugging the rest of his booze from the bottle, juggling it for a moment even as he drank form it, before letting it to its doom on the floor... only to stop mid-air, the chakra string tied to it almost invisible even to Sasuke's trained senses, and float down gently the rest of the way.

"We'll just have a nice sit-down, share our opinions and explain some basic facts of life. All friendly like." He grinned goofily - or it'd seem goofy if not for a faint, almost unnoticeable yet oh-so-dreadfully familiar glimmer in his eyes. It wasn't the usual 'It's alive!' mad scientist spark, or the catastrophical 'Hmm... I wonder...' one.

And boy, was she glad it wasn't - she had enough on her plate without Naruto trying to, say, turn Coral into a floating island or something equally absurd. Not that she believed it was even possible but, well... Naruto and the concept of 'impossible' had a rather interesting relationship, with both sides politely ignoring the other.

Sasuke knew for a fact that 'Naruto' was synonymous with nervous breakdown for most seal masters once Naruto started to go into more esoteric aspects of his beloved art. The shaking hands and crazed eyes of established masters when their world view started to come apart at the seams just never got old.

One of the few people who didn't react that way were the Sannin, Sarutobi and Danzo. Sarutobi because he was usually considering just how many ANBU he would have to use to lock Naruto away for the safety of the village, Danzo mostly because he was drooling about military applications and the Sannin... well, Orochimaru wanted to adopt the jinchuuriki while Naruto was busy trading his 'odds and ends' for dates with Tsunade. Sasuke honestly didn't know if Jiraiya was more impressed by the former or by the latter - the Toad Sannin was laughing too hard.

Still, she really did know better than to give him ideas. Not that she didn't, but oh well. Stealing Raikage's tower was a lot fun, especially given how it turned Kumo ANBU into jittery, skittish wrecks for months afterwards.

Though the time when the Hokage heads on the monument started to bitch at each other about who was the bigger pimp was one of those moments that brought nothing but glow of satisfaction few other events could match.

Of course when one bothered to sit down and think about the sheer amount of work, research and knowledge involved and then realize it was done by Naruto because of one of Sasuke's offhand comments... well, it started to be a little less funny and started to enter the realms of hair-rising fucking terrifying. Sasuke thought it was simply hilarious despite - or maybe because - of that.

"So, you game?" The jinchuuriki asked, grabbing a large bottle of cold mead

"I'll pass, thank you." She shooed him away, grabbing a brush and biting it as she stared at the convoluted sketch before her. "You go on and have fun. Besides I did promise Chigusa-san to have a drink with her."

"Suit yourself." Naruto shrugged, turning to the exit, only to pause as something tugged on his haori. "....huh?"

Sasuke looked up from her sketch, blinking.

Keisei, in all her azure glory, stood behind Naruto, the hem of his haori in one of her palms and a frown on her face.

"Hey, mind letting me go?" The seal master asked.

The mermaid cocked her head, obviously deep in thought, before shaking it once.

"Okay, that's weird." The blond admitted.

The summon pointed at the door with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, yeah, that's the plan." Naruto agreed to the unvoiced question.

She pointed at him, then again at the door.

"Not really following..." The ninja said in a puzzled tone, at which the siren sighed, before slowly pointing at him, then at the door, then back at him with a questioning look.

"It seems to me she's not so much as asking if you go out, but if you do so alone." The kunoichi said with interest.

"I managed to get that, thank you." Naruto rolled his eyes at Sasuke, before turning back to the mermaid. "Yeah. The bitch feels like bein' lazy and stuff. So mind letting me go?"

The azure woman's frown became deeper, bordering on a scowl accompanied by a forceful shake.

"...you won't?" Naruto blinked with confusion. "But why?"

Keisei shook her head again, though this time less emphatically, before pointing at the door, then at herself and grabbing his arm tightly.

"Ah." Naruto nodded slowly. "Honey, you know I love you, but... you kind of stand out." He said delicately, looking at the beautiful azure skin, almond eyes the color of polished emeralds and a plethora of quite beautiful but rather obviously inhuman traits. "While I don't usually care, I want this to be... a bit of a low profile, you know?"

The mermaid's brow furrowed thoughtfully as she looked down at herself critically, before looking back at Naruto with a quivering chin.

"You are beautiful, really!" The blond hastily, waving his arm. "Never doubt that! Ever! But, you know..." it was a testament of Naruto's seriousness he didn't attempt to grope the rather well-endowed summon as he hugged her. "I can't right now, okay? People would come and look at your sheer awesomeness, and while usually it'd be all kinds of good, it'd draw them from all around and I do want a surprise or two in my sleeve, so..."

Keisei sighed, an odd sound between a whisper of running water and, oddly enough, rustling leaves, before blinking and stepping back from Naruto.

"Thanks, honey." The jinchuuriki smiled. "I'll be-"

Keisei cut him off rising her hand in an obvious 'stop for a moment' gesture, before closing her eyes.

Naruto frowned curiously, while Sasuke's eyes widened as a strange, though not wholly unfamiliar feeling ran through her. She'd bet Naruto didn't feel it nearly as clearly - the sheer amount of jinchuuriki's chakra tended to blind his senses a little in that regard - but she was damn sure she felt that strange spike-

Naruto's eyes widened to resemble saucers, while Sasuke simply stared, unable to utter a word.

There was no glow, no smoke, no sound - one moment, Keisei's skin was the most beautiful azure putting gems to shame, the next it started to darken and, oddly enough, soften in appearance. The mermaid's impressive, tall frame also shrunk - not much, but enough to make her only a few centimeters taller than Sasuke, though she was still taller than your average female.

Her claws lost their luster, growing shorter and fully transparent, resembling perfectly ordinary nails, the almond shape of the eyes lost its sharpness and became smaller, though still quite exotic. The blue-green, shiny hair that usually seemed like a cross between sparkling stream and strands of gem-like substance grew duller, fading into a very washed out sort-of blonde - a little odd, but perfectly natural looking, if quite long. Keisei's hair reached well past her shoulder blades in her normal form - as a human they stretched past her knees.

Finally, the skin lost its inhuman, sharply contrasting look settling on mix of dark gold and coppery - it didn't look so much like a tan, like Sasuke's own deep golden one acquired after two weeks under relentless sun, but more like a natural shade she seemed to have been born with. Come to think of it, it looked a lot like some of the people from Kumo Sasuke met over the years, if a bit more exotic. Or would if not for two facts that became evident. For one her eyes were like polished emeralds, but that was a relatively minor issue, considering Keisei's ears didn't seem to do much save changing color accordingly. Aside from that, they still remained long, pointy and rather at odds with her human guise.

But then it was a minor issue overall.

"...hey, did she just-" Sasuke looked at Naruto in bewilderment.

"Don't ask me. I have _abso-fucking-lutely_ no goddamn idea how did she do it." The blond said, staring at his beloved creation in awe. "I didn't know it was even _possible_ for her!"

Keisei grinned, grabbing Naruto's arm again, only to frown in puzzlement for a moment before perking up considerably and stepping closer, pressing to him so that her still large - even more so considering she was more petite than her usual form - breasts squashed against Naruto's shoulder.

"Well she certainly doesn't seem to waste any time." Sasuke chuckled at Naruto's odd look.

The mermaid - or a former mermaid - looked at her summoner with satisfaction, nodding sagely and pointing at the door questioningly, only to pause as a soft cough resounded in the room.

"Ah... Keisei-sama...?" The maid, who finally seemed to find her voice, fidgeted nervously. "I... I would like to point out that you are... ah, naked?"

The former mermaid blinked looking down at herself, before looking back at the maid with a shrug that made her breasts sway a little, showing that big or not, they were almost inhumanly perky and certainly needed no bra.

"Ah... well... you are quite... striking, Keisei-sama..." The maid coughed, flushing. "But, if Kusanagi-sama wishes for even a bit of anonymity... I would suggest some clothes."

The summon frowned, pondering it for a moment and looking at Naruto, clearly at loss what to do..

"Ah... it wouldn't take long, Kusanagi-sama!" The nervous girl waved her arms. "Chigusa-sama has many, many clothes and Keisei-sama is so very pretty anything would look good on her! I mean, just some gi would be fine, but the way she looks, it'd be a crime to avoid showing it... I mean, not that she doesn't show it now, but..." The girl waved her arms again, her face scarlet with embarrassment. "Auuu...!"

"...huh." Naruto raised an eyebrow as Keisei looked at him questioningly, though he could see curiosity in that gaze as well. "Hell, why not. If you want to..." The shinobi shrugged.

"A makeover for a mermaid?" Sasuke blinked, before grinning. "Okay, now _this_ I just have to see."

* * *

Naruto waved an elegant silver fan he had stolen from Sasuke - purely in revenge rather than out of need considering he had worked out how to use his Fuuton affinity to keep the worst of the heat at bay ages ago. Sasuke's Fuuton affinity, on the other hand, sucked.

Besides, the perv liked those fans and her freakish pride wouldn't let her replace them until she got both back from him. In the meantime she could boil her disturbing ass for all he cared - it was the least she deserved after forcing him to go through... that.

He could sew - he could sew damn well. He also knew make up, he knew how to make jewelry and did it _well_. Hell, he could shapeshift into a damn hot chick and wear all that stuff with grace and style the high class oiran were envious of of! Yet still the appeal of 'makeovers' eluded him. That it didn't elude the bastard was just a further proof that Uchiha Sasuke was a cosmic joke on Naruto's expense, prepared by his own hands no less.

'Huh.' The blond blinked. 'Does that mean Sasuke's my greatest prank ever...?' He pondered, before chuckling, causing Keisei hanging off his arm to smile even as she observed the street they were going through with unabashed curiosity.

Despite his fears, the shape shifting mermaid proved to be uncannily practical and minimalistic, refusing anything resembling jewelry or accessories and only reluctantly agreeing to black slipper shoes. She refused - thankfully - Sasuke's thinly veiled attempt to foist one of her scandalously sheer yukata on the mermaid, instead picking a simple, wave-patterned black piece that looked more like an uncommonly long gi top than anything else, being rather racy but allowing for unrestrained freedom of movement.

Naruto had to agree that it looked incredibly good on the lively mermaid, especially given how it left most of her legs and arms bare. The long, bright hair were carefully combed until they were a curtain of flowing tresses, but on Chigusa's suggestion were left unstyled. The summon vehemently denied any make up, to the maid's disappointment, though in Naruto's opinion her exotic features really didn't require any.

All in all, despite the simplicity the transformed siren still turned heads as she walked with him. Admittedly, she'd have drawn far more attention as she usually was, but low profile this was not.

Still, Naruto decided to grin and bear it - who was he to say no when a pretty girl decided to hang off of his arm? Well, a pretty girl that wasn't Sasuke. Though Sasuke would resent being called 'merely pretty', the bastard. Bitch. Whatever. He really was too lazy and too drunk to care.

Naruto paused for a slightest of moments, before resuming his walk.

"Huh." He murmured, feeling that familiar, harrowing feeling of being watched. After so long he didn't need to feel their chakra or look for clues - he just knew. "Aren't they impatient."

Keisei frowned, before looking at him and showing two fingers.

"...two?" The jinchuuriki blinked.

Keisei nodded, her emerald eyes briefly sweeping two different directions.

"Okay, I know you didn't see them before, since you didn't look in any of those directions before." The seal master asked with curiosity. "How did you-" He trailed off as Keisei's long, pointy ears waggled up and down several times. "You can do that?"

The mermaid grinned, her long ears twitching once more with obvious satisfaction.

"Awesome." Naruto chuckled. "And that bitch has the gall to complain about my awesome skills! Ha!" He crowed. "Still... if one is here... and the other is _there_, that's a bit..." the young ninja trailed off. He wasn't worried about the unknown observers hearing him - the crowd was too noisy, they were too far away and lip reading wasn't an issue given their position, but why risk it? Still, their locations bugged him, mainly because how pointless they were - stationed like that they were doubling about the same field of vision. There as really no point in doing something like this unless...

A small chuckle escaped his throat.

'Who watches the watchers indeed. Seems like the left hand doesn't know what the right is doing, eh?'

They could be, of course, two ninja from different villages but considering they both appeared after the message was delivered Naruto would bet they were both from Kumo, despite one hiding from the other.

"Whaddaya know..." Naruto drawled softly. "This could actually be fun."

Still, if the situation was more than just a straight ambush combined with some strong arm tactics there was no sense in ignoring it, especially if he wanted to avoid drawing too much attention. Relatively speaking, of course.

'I can't do any chakra-intensive ninjutsu and genjutsu is out since it isn't like I can manipulate chakra right in this condition.' He winced slightly feeling a brief spike of pain he suppressed ruthlessly. 'If it gets ugly I could simply tell Keisei to go wild but...' The young man sighed.

The mermaid was indeed awesome and she was powerful enough to take whoever Kumo sent by surprise, but it wasn't like she was subtle - she was a heavy hitter and that was precisely what Naruto wanted to avoid. He was really in no shape to fight a bunch of shinobi. Hell, he was in no shape to fight a bunch of academy students to be honest. There were alternatives, however, that were much better than straight up fighting. Much more amusing as well.

A small grin appeared on Naruto's face as he started humming under his breath.

'Now, where can I find a clothing shop selling sufficiently long strips of silk and paper...?'

* * *

"Huh." Naruto swirled the alcohol absently, his glazed eyes looking forward blankly, not seeing much of anything. Or rather not seeing much of anything real.

Genjutsu was a fantastic art on many levels beside just the obvious 'make them see something that isn't there' part. Masking traps, subtle suggestion, hypnosis, interrogation... the uses were endless and he could understand Sasuke's fascination with it. Naruto lacked the finely tuned control for the subtler skills, but that didn't mean his genjutsu was terrible - just as Sasuke gained a deeper understanding of the sealing arts, Naruto gained a deep, enduring appreciation for genjutsu. While he couldn't pull a mindfuck on Sasuke's level, there were... other uses.

After all, who said genjutsu had to be used against someone?

When you were observed by enemies, your every move carefully noted and analyzed, what better way to hide things than not having them there?

Naruto grinned, allowing the three dimensional image of the meeting point designated by Kumo ninja rotate slowly in all of its three dimensional glory.

Sometimes it really paid to have a shikigami. Granted, he was a bit peeved that his shikigami was a rather bitchy hornet occasionally moonlighting as a butterfly, but then it was karma, or something like that. He supposed she was balanced out by the huge bitchy fox inside his chakra system.

On the other hand, not being something big and impressive made sure no one really paid attention to her. Well, unless she stated to get stab happy in all of her ten inches of bitchy glory. He sometimes suspected Sasuke had a hand in making Soi this way - she certainly spent more time with the bastard as a glorified tattoo than with him anyway.

"A tavern? Huh. A little public... unless it is all on their payroll." The seal master trailed off.

This was quite likely. Coral was one of the centers of the black market activities in this sector and there was simply too much money here not to keep some kind of watch on it.

His smile dimmed a little. That meant that those idiots really could have a contingent of troops here.

'Not good.' The jinchuuriki thought with a frown. Some kind of nice intimidation tactics against one or two nin, ANBU or not, he could pull off - doing the same against several platoons was a different story altogether. 'And if I make too much of a fuss, there are local troops... and Tsunade.'

His little scuffle with the Senju heiress and Kisame made the samurai and Coral ninja twitchy and very kunai happy. Naruto had an uncomfortable feeling that if something big went down, the Daimyo's troops were going to stab first and ask questions later, which made using Keisei the last resort.

'Now that will take some creative thinking.' the jinchuuriki halted the image, mentally zooming to the interior scouted by his shikigami.

'A tavern. Cliche, but also very useful - no one will find people coming at the oddest of times strange. The owner is probably on the payroll... if he and his staff aren't all Kumo nin. Given they want to meet me there that means the 'patrons' are going to be as well. Risking kicking up some fuss right now? Those guys want me bad it seems.' His lips twisted in a humorless grin.

Of course they did - he gave them all the incentive they needed to rip out any possible secrets in his head.

'Are you going to break your teeth on me, kiddies.' Naruto thought gleefully, dispelling the illusion he had woven over his own senses, his eyes once again focusing on the black butterfly resting on his palm.

"Do me a favor and go and inform Sasuke I'm going to be a bit late, would you?"

The butterfly's wings waved once and shifted, flowing into a dark mane, the back lengthening into a hakama and haori combination. A moment later Naruto held a tiny, dark haired kunoichi on his palm.

"Show off." He grinned. "What if they saw you?"

The tiny warrior shot him a withering glare in response.

"Oooh. Easy there on the sting there, little bee." The seal master chuckled at his shikigami. He still had no idea how he could get such an anal-retentive and duty-obsessed guardian spirit.

They were as different as fire and water and only samurai-like devotion stopped her from pulling out that tiny poisoned blade of hers and stabbing him for all she was worth sometimes. In some ways, Soi resembled a far more formal and stubborn version of Sasuke that Naruto remembered from their respective childhoods.

"Leaving you endangered by these... _people_." She scowled. "It is most unwise."

"Oh don't worry. I have help." He pointed at Keisei.

"You shouldn't need help in the first place, master." The tiny kunoichi grumbled. "They are so painfully slow.... just one little stab..." her eyes glinted as she laid one hand on her blade.

"Ahh, how in the world did you get so bloodthirsty my butterfly, eh?"

She glared at him from under her dark bangs, not dignifying his words with any other answer. He supposed it was only fair - the butterfly transformation wasn't something she was 'born' with, so to speak. But then, seals had many uses...

He was aiming for a raven actually, like one of those he saw with that bitchy but undeniably sexy fire miko girl some time ago. What was her name...? Rui... Rai... ah, Rei! Yeah. Very bitchy, yet so deliciously tsundere, and those legs... glorious!

The jinchuuriki shook his head. Good memories. He'd have to visit the girl one of those days to take a closer look at those two spirit ravens of hers. Besides, she was damn hot when she got angry.

"Ah, Kusanagi-san? Your silks?" Naruto blinked, coming back to reality. Soi was long gone of course - she was incredibly fast and sometimes a far better shinobi than he could ever be.

"Thank you." He beamed at the employee of the clothing shop, taking the long strips of carefully cut silk from her. "Oh yeah." he murmured. "This will do very nicely."

The girl blinked as a brush appeared in his fingers with a snap, only to flinch in surprise as he calmly slashed his palm open. Several fluid brush strokes later the long cloth strips held a bloody calligraphy on it, coiling over it like tiny snakes, yet not spilling over or through the material. It was actually far harder than it seemed and he had to constantly reinforce the cloth to make sure the seal held its shape, but the end result should be worth it.

It wasn't exactly complicated - some basic seals for reinforcement, one or two for channeling and not much else, save for a few... extras. It was actually a derivate of one of Sasuke's courtesan tricks brought to life in all of its kinky and useful glory. Naruto had to admit that disturbed or not, Sasuke had some really fun ideas. Adding a little bit of his own twist should make it even more fun.

"There." He said with satisfaction. It was basic, very rushed and plain but...

He smirked as the silks stiffened, becoming as hard an unyielding as any steel.

"Excellent." The seal master grinned, pushing his sleeves up and allowing the cloth strips to coil around his forearms like some fashionable and rather expensive bandages. 'Now I have the 'attack' option... but...' he frowned, mulling the problem over. 'It won't do me any good unless I can somehow rob them of the advantage of numbers. That doesn't seem likely unless I rigged the whole place to blow, but if they called me on it... no.' He grimaced. that sort of thing would have guaranteed the attention of local authorities. While he had nothing against a scuffle or two to liven things up, this _was_ supposed to be vacation, and he was weaker than a newborn kitten. Well, a Kyuubi powered kitten, but still...

'Explosives are out. I can't make enough clones without hurting myself right now, nor can I use any big jutsu, so using direct force is out. Genjutsu's out and I lack anything big enough to turn the tables on them in my pockets. What to do, what to-' he froze for a minute, before a small, toothy grin stretched his lips.

"Hey, miss?" The attendant turned to him, a questioning look on her face. "Mind answering a question?" Naruto held up a paper flower. "Do you know anyone good at origami?"

* * *

If there was one good thing the Konoha Ninja Academy teachers had to say about Uzumaki Naruto during his time as a student, it was his unparalleled ability with Henge no jutsu (not that they knew it wasn't the illusory henge but an actual transformation, but oh well). Despite that, no one was quite sure how in the world did the loud, orange-clad failure get the highest possible score in infiltration courses. No one, that is, except for Namida Suzume who ran said courses. When asked, often by indignant nay-sayers, the bespectacled kunoichi master gave a short, pitying look before turning away without saying a word.

She smiled, though. She smiled because she remembered that Haruno Sakura didn't make the top kunoichi in her year on skill, brains or guts - she made it on sheer luck. Luck that a certain short haired, energetic kunoichi in her class seemed to drop out, leaving the coveted spot to a girl who couldn't lie to save her life, didn't know that using floral shampoo - however good for her pretty, bubblegum-pink hair - was a certain death sentence when hunted by someone like Inuzuka and who wouldn't be able to seduce a virgin with a lolicon fetish.

She smiled because she knew that if it was up to her, she'd have left the top kunoichi slot empty and didn't bother acknowledging it in person, but would attend the general ninja graduation with glee. She smiled because when several instructors made rather heartless bets on the life expectancy of the orange clad moron who couldn't hide to save his life, she took the long odds with calm certainty and a gleam in her eye that left her fellow shinobi rather perplexed.

Suzume smiled, because out of every academy instructor, she knew Uzumaki Naruto best, even if the sandy blonde kunoichi who attended her classes used a different name. Suzume, contrary to people like Iruka or Sarutobi, didn't even need to hope Uzumaki Naruto would make a good ninja - she already knew Uzumaki Naruto, or whoever he chose to be, made a marvelous kunoichi.

While some might think it was Naruto's way of coping with harsh reality by hiding, by donning some kind of a mask, as Sarutobi often thought looking at his seemingly happy visage, they couldn't be more wrong.

Naruto didn't wear masks - during the academy days, he probably wouldn't even understand the concept if someone tried to explain it to him. He was what he appeared to be. What one saw, one got. Naruto didn't wear masks - Naruto became them.

He was the happy idiot with a vulpine grin, he was the occasionally shy kunoichi trainee, the buxom girl who earned friends at the hot springs when the plumbing was out in Naruto's apartment, the sometimes clumsy messenger for the tradesmen that wouldn't hire a wisp of a demon kid, the coy maid in Kaen, because Sarutobi would be seriously disturbed knowing what kind of company the eight year old urchin kept - he was them all.

Hence Lord Kusanagi, with all pros and cons of nobility, was fashionably late to the meeting by an hour. Because, well, he was Lord Kusanagi - rich, handsome, noble and, above all, irreverent of any authority save his own and as arrogant as any blue blood. If he wanted to spend time in a brothel, watching the girls dance and fold origami while naked, he would do so. If he wandered around the red lights district, throwing money left and right for most bizarre reasons while his sexy companion hung off his arm or chased a rather grumpy black butterfly around? Hell, he would damn well do so! He was Lord Kusanagi - hear him fucking roar! Or purr, as it was. Sexy girls, wine and all that, you know.

The two Kumo shinobi that tried - tried being the key word - to keep an eye on him at all times without looking like they were doing so and not betraying their presence to each other grew to deeply hate Lord Kusanagi. Had Naruto known he would have patted himself on the back. As it was, it would be unseemly to do so, so Lord Kusanagi hired a girl to do that, throwing her a nice ruby for her trouble.

"As red as your lips, but not even half as lovely."

Corny? Undoubtedly. He didn't care - the sparks in the woman's eyes put any diamonds to shame and that was worth any fortune.

Lord Kusanagi laughed, taking a hearty chug of his impossibly chilly mead and calling for music, for women and letting an old poem grace his lips, one that made even courtesans blush - not because it was rather brazen, but because it was said with flair of a courtier and sincerity of a smitten lover.

He did not lie either - why should he? He loved them, those scarlet women and their brazen glances. They sold love, even if for coin, but for an orphan who had none of both it was heaven, and for a man he had become it was honesty that many others lacked. He loved the red lamps by the railing, the seemingly proper kimonos that invited and promised at a second glance, the touch that lingered, the overly sweet perfume that was like a caress to his sharp senses.

Kumo shinobi could all go to hell.

Really, calling him forth like some common dog? He was Lord Kusanagi and they were going to wait at his leisure.

So he was another hour late. He could almost taste the frustration oozing from the shinobi trailing him. Good. Very, very good.

It all meant that neither had cared when a girl, clad as any flower seller might, passed him, or when he threw a brazen joke her way, causing her to blush and stammer.

Neither Kumo shinobi paid any real attention beyond the obvious, beside noting the girl's basket was empty - still, she had probably sold her merchandise already. Neither also noticed the fact the flower girl, once adorned by the make-up and revealing yet elegant robes of the profession would look uncannily like one of the courtesans Lord Kusanagi spent his time with.

All they saw was an ordinary, if attractive, flower girl with an empty basket. All they saw was a blush, missing the wink and a tiny nod.

They could be excused, though - Saori, although young, was a courtesan and an impeccable actress. Especially when certain drunkard of a lord approached her with a strange request, even stranger pile of paper flowers and a purse that quite simply defied belief. Had she wanted to, the chestnut haired beauty who never guessed why she was chosen could retire to live in comfort for the rest of her life twice over.

Of course, Saori never knew why did the young lord laugh, asking her if she liked ramen. How could she know that she, an orphan, a child of a one night stand of a tired working man and a young prostitute, was a dead ringer for a young woman who filled young Naruto's heart with joy and his belly with delicious ramen ever since he could remember?

Saori didn't know. Saori never cooked ramen in her life either, though she did like it. Saori was chosen either way, to sell a bunch of very pretty paper flowers her fellow oiran folded while the rest of them danced around, hiding it from the prying eyes withe their bare bodies, grace and laughter.

After all, all work and no play made Kusanagi-sama a dull boy.

Naruto chuckled, fishing out a large, silver coin, letting it dance on his knuckles before flipping it into air with his thumb, allowing it to fall and then flipping it up again, before polishing it with a silk scarf still smelling of exotic perfume, wine and sensual laughter.

"Show time." He murmured, causing Keisei to grin and clap once.

Oddly enough, it looked both joyful and like a prayer for the deceased.

Naruto laughed all the way to the inn housing Kumo shinobi.

* * *

He swaggered - not merely walked, but swaggered - into the bar, the silver coin glinting in the air as it rose and fell, Kesei hanging off his arm, a bottle of chilly mead in the other and total lack of concern for the fact that everyone from a rather nice looking waitress to the scraggly old drunkard by the counter was most probably a recipient of a Kumogakure hitai-ate at some point in their lives.

Naruto let his eyes linger on the waitress for a moment, admiring the low-cut bar apron with a grin, noting the smooth glide and easy footing almost off hand. The girl could play a waitress all she wanted, but what he saw was a Kumo chuunin who practiced her taijutsu a little too vigorously - or not vigorously enough to hide said training effectively. He'd complain, but then she glided real fine and really had what it took to sell even the worst house special at a premium.

The silver coin danced, flipped up carelessly like a child's toy with each step.

He took a swig out of his bottle, before leaning forward with a slight sway. It didn't require all that much acting to be honest; inhuman constitution or not, he'd been drinking since morning and didn't bother purging alcohol at all.

"Well now..." He drawled, taking another sip "That's a quaint little establishment you got yourself here." The blond looked at the stocky shinobi by the nearby table.

"Might be a bit below your standards, but they got some good stuff here." Hachi raised his cup "Want some?"

"Well, I'm runnin' a bit dry here," Naruto upturned his empty bottle for emphasis "so I won't say no to such a generous offer."

"I hear ya," The old shinobi chuckled, "Oi, another round for me an' my young friend here!"

"Right away!" The waitress called, walking to the counter as Naruto sat by Kumo jounin's table.

"I wasn't sure you'd come." Genzai raised an eyebrow. "Pretty gutsy, aint'cha?"

"You asked so nicely I just couldn't say no." The blond said cheerfully. "Besides, it always tastes better when it's free."

"Heh, you're surprisingly sensible for a spoiled little prince, ain't ya?" The old ninja said with amusement. "And I see you're without the hitokiri girl today. Troubles in paradise?"

"Eh, she's been bitchy this morning," Naruto rolled his eyes. "I mean, drink a little bit and it's whine this, nag that and bitching about falling anvils... spoiled little princess wannabe." He snorted "Honestly, cut it a bit close one time and you never hear the end of it. Feh."

"Ain't that the truth," The old man nodded, before pausing with a bewildered expression "...falling anvils?"

Naruto nodded, flicking the coin in his fingers a bit higher than usual and whistling softly as it fell, only to mimic a splattering sound as the coin hit the table.

"Pest control." He smiled sunnily "Bugs can be pretty resilient these days, eh?"

"...ah." The jounin nodded slowly as waitress came by and put two drinks on the table. "I see."

Naruto grabbed a cup, swirling the alcohol for a moment, before rising it and spilling a bit to the side.

"May those who accept their fate find happiness."

The older man blinked, before rising and spilling a bit of wine from his own.

"And may the ones that defy it find glory." He said with a nod.

They took a long sip in unison.

"I'd ask which one are you.... but then I don't think I need to, eh?" the old man shook his head.

"You might say it's my hobby," Naruto took a swing out of his glass, "screwing with such stuff, that is."

"Now this I don't doubt for a moment," The older man chuckled, only to blink as Keisei ran after a black blur that proved to be a large butterfly a moment later.

Granted, he had yet to see butterflies that fast, but still...

"Isn't she cheery," The old ninja mused, observing Keisei as she halted her butterfly chase to peer curiously at a row of various alcoholic beverages over the counter.

"Keisei? Oh yes," Naruto grinned with pride "Isn't she just awesome?"

Genzai froze as the dusky skinned woman turned, as if feeling the older man's gaze and looked him straight in the eyes with a strange, calculating look.

For some reason, the gaze caused Hachi's well-honed senses to flare, but not with danger. Rather it was a vague feeling of... something just under the surface, though for the life of him he couldn't pinpoint it. A moment later it was gone, and he wondered if he had seen anything at all.

"...I'll take your word on it." He murmured thoughtfully, turning back to Naruto.

"So, You didn't call me here for a drink, nice as it is," the Jinchuuriki leaned back, swirling his wine absently. "What does the most esteemed head of Kumogakure's ANBU want with a spoiled brat like me?"

"Just what the letter said, really," Hachigoro shrugged "My Kage's been pretty insistent about making sure you understand all the nuts and bolts of this... exchange." He said with disgust.

"I see you don't like it much," Naruto pointed out lazily.

"It ain't nothin' personal, kid," The ANBU commander scowled slightly "I might like you fine enough, but I just don't like sellin' a fine kunoichi like a slab of meat because of some political games, that's all."

"And killing her and harvesting her Bijuu is any better?" The Jinchuuriki said sarcastically.

"Those were the orders from the top," The old man shrugged "I might not like 'em, but I'm a soldier."

"Still, killing your own jinchuuriki out of the blue... isn't it a bit strange?" Naruto asked curiously. "What did she do to get you coming after her like that?"

The Kumo ninja looked at his younger drinking buddy for a long moment.

"Well, you got that mess on your hands now, so I guess it's only fair." He sighed, "It ain't public knowledge yet... well not _too_ public, so you might not have heard, but apparently someone offed Aida, the Sunflower Island's daimyo, and his entire 'guard'." He snorted, showing what he thought of the people in question.

"What does offing one borderline rogue daimyo has with killing your own village's jinchuuriki?" Naruto scratched his head

"I'm getting to it, brat! Geez, kids these days," The old man grumbled. "Anyway, assassination alone would'da caused a big stir since that rat used to have his fingers in a lot of pies around the coast. Thing is, it's not his rotten head rolling down that got kitty the sentence, but how it was done. Apparently, someone woke up some legendary samurai who's been dead for a century to do it. How I have no goddamn idea, but there's been witnesses that saw that armor walking out of the palace. Hell, there's been sightings of that armor _after_ that whole mess. It apparently went on a wee bit of a killing spree among Aida's advisors."

Naruto blinked owlishly.

He was pretty sure the seals shouldn't hold for so long... but then this _was_ a rush job and he was in the middle of giving Sasuke a power up, so it wasn't like he could control the boost on the armor fully.

'...how much juice did I put into that guy again?'

"Thing is, Yugito's been in the region and was unaccounted for at the time. The fact she wasn't fond of Aida for some old stuff only made it worse." The old man shook his head.

"...oh." Naruto smiled weakly. "I see."

"So when the blue blooded assholes heard about the 'walking dead' and realized she might have been around, they added two and two, and like always got twenty two." He snorted.

"But... that's just circumstantial evidence." Naruto murmured, taking a long swig from his cup, before motioning for a waitress to refill it. "If she was just some two-bit grunt, I can get using her as a scapegoat, but a Jinchuuriki? That's absurd."

"You don't know much about Lightning country, do you?" Hachigoro smiled sadly "The nobility in the Lightning was always strong because of the sea trade route privileges, but old man Masahide and Kumogakure held them in check." He gazed into his cup contemplatively. "After he died, they put that waste of space Masahiko on the throne. That idiot pretty much signs anything they want as long as they send him enough trinkets and build yet another 'summer residence' where he can drown in booze."

The jounin shook his head with disgust.

"Because of the last war and that catastrophic debacle with Konoha over that stupid Byukagan a few years after that, Kumo took a lot of heat and our authority wasn't what it once was. Especially with all of these homegrown militias each of the houses is able to field nowadays." he said bitterly. "Their military power isn't a big concern, but the fact that that drunk idiot lets them run some jobs that were traditionally Kumo's bread an' butter... well, we had to either start playing it cool, or we'd lose even more ground. I mean, we all saw what happened to Suna when they tried to play it hard-line." Genzai spat. "I hate it, and I'd love to rip each of those vultures a new asshole or two, but as things stand we must play politics with them, even if it means some drastic steps."

"Yugito's a threat." Naruto said slowly. "As a Jinchuuriki, she's worth a whole platoon of elites by herself. To make it worse, she can be fielded covertly far easier than, say, an ANBU team, and they know it." he breathed, understanding lighting up in his eyes. "This is not some random over-reaction - it's a deliberate power play."

"And a way to show us who holds the cash an' the influence in the court," Hachi said with a grimace "Well, that and they are fucking pissed about Aida getting offed since they were tight with that vulture and lost a lot of cash, as well as got a nasty shake in the business ventures on the coast now that he's dead. They're running like headless chickens trying to balance the losses."

"That, and they don't know if you did it or not, so they start a crackdown just in case," Naruto shook his head in wonder. "Are they stupid? Kumo's power reflects on your country's power. Squabbling nobles are one thing, but meddling like that, weakening the power-base of the entire country... that's just inviting trouble." The Jinchuuriki scratched his neck. "Sheesh...! I knew things were shaky in the Country of Lightning, but that's going a bit too far."

"You tellin' me?" The old man spat to the side. "I don't make the policy, nor would I want to, but that's how they play. Raikage prolly figured that we'd pull the kitty out of Yugito, seal it quietly into some other kid an' let them think they won that round."

"Well, it'd be risky, but given the situation... yeah, that might have given you some breathing room." The jinchuuriki nodded thoughtfully. "Not much, but it'd be a start."

"Who knows, it might have," Genzai shrugged, before smirking. "well, until you came and fucked it all up to hell, that is."

"So we did, it seems," Naruto raised an eyebrow. "You're oddly happy about it, though."

"Honestly? Yeah, I am." Hachi nodded "I might follow my orders even if I hate 'em, but I like that girl. She's got the skill an' she's got the guts. Rare, that. Besides, I trained her and seein' all that going to waste... yeah, I'm happy with this. An' to be honest, the way I see it, we're gettin' the better deal here anyway."

"A Zaihou box." Naruto smiled. "Yugito was a known factor, but the box..."

"Exactly," Hachigoro chuckled. "And it ain't 'just' one box, but two, _and_ they didn't eliminate our kitty, so that's a nice bit of a reminder that we aren't their lapdogs in one fell swoop. So am I happy? You can damn well bet your hitokiri I am!"

"Hmm..." Naruto rubbed his chin thoughtfully "Why, I do believe Lighting Country's most noble clan heads are up for some sleepless nights. How... dreadful."

"My heart simply _bleeds_," The old ninja said mockingly.

"My oh my..."

Hachigoro stiffened, turning slowly.

"That didn't sound very patriotic, old man," A handsome, dark haired main said with a slight smile, walking towards the table calmly. "One might think you don't care about our great country at all."

"Someone like you lecturing me on loyalty..." Even though his face remained impassive, Hachi's grip tightened, almost cracking the cup he was holding. "Your sense of humor is as shitty as usual, Saburo."

Naruto observed the two men with interest, noting the older nin's open hostility, as well as the fact the bishounen didn't seem to be intimidated by it in the least, which was beyond curious. Kumo didn't give the command of their elite fighting force to weaklings, and that Hachigoro held the position for so many years spoke for itself. Genzai might have been getting on in the years, but he was still incredibly dangerous and his experience made him all the more deadly.

"Friend of yours?"

Genzai grimaced, causing the younger Kumo nin to shake his head with a sigh.

"I'm hurt." said Saburo "Here you go, talking about this and that and you didn't even tell him about me..." he put his hand on his heart mockingly. "Why, one might think you don't like me, uncle!"

Genzai's grimace became even more sour and the older man grunted, before draining his glass in one move.

"Oh don't mind him, Kusanagi-san," The bishounen shook his head with exasperation, "he's just a big grouch." He leaned conspiratorially. "Just between you and me, I think he's a little jealous."

"Because there is so much to be fucking jealous of you indeed." Hachi said with a snort. "Though I'm surprised you're here. Saki doesn't let her pets wander... unless she's bored with 'em, that is."

For the moment, Saburo looked as if slapped, but he covered it with a strained smile a moment later.

"Joking again, uncle?" He said through the gritted teeth. "It's good to see you're in such good spirits. I dare say you will need all the cheer you can get soon enough."

"Are you threatenin' me, boy?" Hachi turned his head to the side, cracking his neck loudly

The younger Kumo nin glared at his uncle.

"I don't have time for your useless posturing, old man." He said, regaining his composure "Just remember this. If you make too much noise here, Raikage won't be able to show you clemency again." The younger man smirked "So, dear uncle, do stay out of my way." He smiled charmingly, though it showed far too many teeth for Naruto's liking. "Understand, it's nothing personal. Just business."

Genzai stared at his nephew for a long moment, before pouring himself a large cup of wine. Naruto noted that the older man's hand was completely steady, no hint of anger or even irritation the old man had to have felt.

"One day, nephew," Hachi said softly. "One day soon, you will make a one 'deal' too many... and I'm going to be there."

"Yes, yes," the younger man waved his hand impatiently, before turning to Naruto. "Please forgive this unsightly behavior, Kusanagi-san. Old people... you know how they are." The ninja said with a long-suffering sigh. "Anyway. No matter what my dear uncle would like you to think, he doesn't really represent the interests of Kumogakure's citizens."

"And you do?" The blond raised an eyebrow.

"So to speak." Saburo nodded "I represent the officials who are greatly concerned with the future of our great country. Officials, let it be said, who have the backing of our reigning Daimyo and the more progressive members of Kumogakure's esteemed council."

"I'm sure you do." Naruto nodded, pouring himself more wine. "And whatever does such a group want with one country bumpkin?"

"Please, Kusanagi-san," Saburo smiled. "Country bumpkins don't go around spending fortunes or artifacts of power so casually."

"One man's trash is another's treasure," the Jinchuuriki said lightly, taking a hearty swig out of his cup. "But even so, what would such a fine gathering of movers and shakers want with me?"

"To extend an invitation, Kusanagi-san." The young man leaned forward. "You are obviously a man of some power and influence, both of which would be of great use to our country. Times are changing, and unless one wants to be swept by the tide of history, one must adapt - be it a person, or a country." Kumo ninja explained. "The gentlemen whom I represent can see that, and are more than willing to take the steps necessary to make sure Country of Lightning will not only come out unscathed, but also reap every possible benefit of that process. They want to invite you to help to facilitate that change, to join us in this endeavor."

"And wanting the Jinchuuriki I just bought and any other shiny treasures I might posses plays no role at all, of course." Naruto said dryly.

"I won't lie to you, Kusanagi-san," Saburo raised his hands placatingly, "that Zaihou box did open some... interesting possibilities. However, the elimination of Nibi was a mistake. It was a decision made in the heat of the moment and after the calmer heads prevailed, these orders were changed. If its life is so valuable to you, you can keep it. Of course there would be some concessions and restrictions, but that jinchuuriki would be alive and unharmed if you so desire." He sighed. "As for the other matter... I'll be honest with you. We both know that this offer came to you for a reason. Yes, you will be expected to make some... investments. However," he raised his finger pointedly, "while the price might seem steep, the benefits would outweigh it by a fair margin."

"Oh?" Naruto quirked an eyebrow.

"Indeed." Saburo said smoothly "You are a wealthy man, but let me assure you that the resources people I represent have at their disposal are beyond anything you have seen before. Once you accept the invitation, part of the... revenue would be yours to spend as you see fit. I don't doubt you are a man of influence, but backing of the entire country and more prominent members of its aristocracy is in a class of its own, Kusanagi-san." The young ninja smiled. "You would be wealthy beyond your imagination and all but untouchable. With backing of my superiors, any enemies or troubles you might have would be a thing of the past in mere moments, and that's just in the beginning. Times of the great shadow wars are over, Kusanagi-san, and military power doesn't mean quite what it used to nowadays. Or the 'military power' in terms most see it, at least."

He threw Hachigoro, who calmly sipped his wine, a short, mocking glance.

"The time when some sword-swinging warlord with a ragtag band could create and hold a country are long over. This is the new era, an era that needs capable, intelligent men willing to adapt, to challenge the status quo and outdated customs that have no place in the modern world." He leaned forward, his focused gaze alight in a way only greed could accomplish. "These very men want you to join them, to reap the benefits along them, Kusanagi-san. I don't think I need to tell you this is an opportunity that comes only once in a blue moon."

"Once in a blue moon..." Naruto smiled oddly. "Someone like you would certainly think so. Once in a blue moon..." He let out a strange, grating laugh, akin rather to hyena's bark than any noise a human throat would make. "I have to admit that it sounds nice. Sounds, anyway. So many pretty words, or ones trying to be pretty, a lot of make up... all so pretty in a row in that offer. Still, I'll make you one better." The Jinchuuriki smiled cheerfully "Why don't you take all those two ryo whore words, grab your lackeys and go back to whatever rock you crawled from under like a nice little worm, eh?"

Saburo's eyes narrowed.

"I'd advise you to think carefully about what you're rejecting." The bishounen's tone was chilly and growing far less pleasant by the second "Think very carefully, Kusanagi-san, this-"

"Kusanagi-sama." Naruto said absently, pouring himself some more alcohol.

Saburo blinked with surprise.

"It's Kusanagi-_sama_." The blond sighed, shaking his head. "I know you ain't all that bright, but even your tiny brain should notice the gap between us. Seriously, you're speaking as if we were... equal or something." He wrinkled his nose slightly, as if hit by some unpleasant smell. "Shitty sense of humor or not, that's a wee bit too much for a joke, don't you think? Geez... what next a slug princess? Give me a break here...!" Naruto grumbled.

The young Kumo ninja's jaw tightened visibly, but to his credit his voice remained fairly even.

"You obviously don't quite understand the scope of this offer, Kusanagi." He said through the gritted teeth. "I'm willing to-"

"Oi, Hachi," Naruto frowned, looking at the older ninja. "He's either deaf or... kinda slow, isn't he?"

"Well," Genzai shrugged, "no one ever accused him of being too bright."

"Ah." The blond nodded with understanding. "Maybe I should try simpler words?"

"Hmm..." the old man rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "I'm not sure. How simple are we talking here?"

"Are you trying to make a fool out of me, Kusanagi?!" Saburo growled, his hand tightening in the hilt of his sheathed katana so hard his knuckles became white.

"Trying?" The jinchuuriki blinked innocently "Why, good Benten, no! You're managing perfectly well by yourself in that respect." He leaned in, patting the young ninjas' shoulder. "It's so considerate of you to spare me the hassle, you know. You're a real stand-up guy, Saburo. Yep, that you are! I'll be sure to tell everyone about it!"

"...why you-!" Saburo's face reddened, the leather of the hilt creaking audibly form the strength of the grip as the shinobi glared at Naruto for a moment, before forcibly reigning in his temper. "Spurning my superiors' generous offer is foolish, _Kusanagi-sama_. I-"

"Generous?" Naruto parroted mockingly, before draining his cup and slamming it down almost hard enough to crack it. "For Benten's sake... you are deaf, stupid and fucking _blind_, aren't you?" the jinchuuriki snorted. "Money, power, prestige... everything in that 'offer' ain't worth shit, moron. These geezers wave all that shiny stuff around, but all that glitter can't mask the fact it's nothing but a goddamn cage."

The seal master peered at his now-empty cup thoughtfully.

"In the end all they want is some more power for them, more money for them to spend and one more pawn to manipulate and dispose of when the time is right. And that time usually is right after there is no more use for the sucker that got involved." He pointed at Saburo. "Sort of like you, come to think of it."

Naruto grabbed a bottle form the passing waitress, pulling the cork out with his teeth and spiting it out to the side, before taking a hearty swing.

"Besides," he wiped his mouth with his pricey kimono's sleeve, "your offer is just boring. I don't like to rely on others for stuff, you see. I never did before, I'm not starting now. I'm the kind of guy who likes to get what he wants with my own hands."

He leaned forward with a toothy grin, startling Saburo.

"When I'm hungry, I eat. When I'm thirsty, I drink. When I want something, I take it. And if something stands in my way, be it a man, a village or a country..." the bottle in Naruto's hand exploded, showering Saburo in tiny glass pieces. "_I crush it_. That's all there is to it."

The jinchuuriki shook the reminder of the shards from his hand, letting them fall, one after another, to the ground with soft, dull chimes so clearly heard in the sudden silence.

"So go away," he made a shooing motion towards the door. "Go away to your politics, go back to your dingy little gilded cage or wherever. Hell, if you do it fast enough and let me drink in peace, I might do you a favor and avoid completely ruining your life! Now that's what I'd call a generous offer!" He waved his palm again, smiling kindly. "Go away, little bug. Shoo. Shoo."

Saburo stared at the drunk seal master for a long moment, his face utterly expressionless, before finally, carefully, pulling his palm away form the hilt of his katana he had been gripping so tightly for the past few minutes.

"I don't think you quite understand your situation," his voice was as emotionless as his face. "We are not _asking_."

The bishounen snapped his fingers, several ninja clad from head to toe in black, bereft of any markings appeared out of the shadows as if by magic. The small group fanned out, swiftly assuming positions by the door and windows, effectively cutting off any avenue of escape from the inn.

"Now listen to me, you ignorant drunken motherfucker," Saburo sneered. "Since you're too to stupid to play ball, this is how it's going to be. You are going to cut your little vacation short right now and go with us to the Lightning Country, where you will tell us exactly what we need to know or we will peel your alcohol-soaked mind open like an onion and drain every scrap of useful knowledge out of it." he growled venomously. "You will hand every artifact you have in your possession, starting with that unruly monster like a good little boy so it can serve your betters as it should have to begin with. Afterwards, if you remain useful, we might allow you to live in relative comfort. Of course that depends on what I tell them, so I suggest you learn your place in the grand scheme of things quickly, or I'm going to give you to my Torture and Interrogation specialists to practice on." The young Kumogakure shinobi slammed his hand to the table, the abused wood groaning and splintering. "Do you understand me, you worthless piece of shit?!"

Naruto raised an eyebrow slowly.

"Oh really?" He said with amusement. "And how are you going to accomplish that, bug?"

The inn was filled with soft scraping of metal as the black clad shinobi drew their swords.

"Does that satisfy your curiosity, _Kusanagi-sama_?" The bishounen's voice was dripping with venom. "And don't count on my dear uncle and these worthless ANBU of his. I know their orders - they can't move a finger to help you, not unless they want to keep their jobs and their heads." he sneered.

"Your memory's going, bug," the seal master leaned back in his seat with a sigh. "I think I told you I don't rely on others, didn't I?" he looked at the ninja guarding the exits for a moment, scratching his head. "Anyway, what is that supposed to be? Three by the doors, two by the windows, one standing there like some exhibit piece... that's it?"

Saburo blinked with bewilderment.

Naruto stared at him for a moment.

"I mean... _this_ is your bright idea to defeat me? A handful of ninja guarding the doors? Are you people _serious_?" he waved his hand in the general direction of the black clad shinobi. "Are you telling me _that_ is your strategy?"

The black clad shinobi shifted uncomfortably.

"I mean, be real!" the jinchuuriki said with exasperation. "No one even bothering to, I don't know, guard such an obvious route as the celling, or lurk underground or something?" Naruto palmed his face. "Please tell me you have some secret weapon, or an elaborate trap or something?"

Saburo looked at Naruto incredulously.

"...what?"

"Are you sure?" Naruto looked at the bishounen. "No super-secret artifact? A summon? A special one-hit-kill jutsu? Some fancy secret martial art at least?" he asked desperately, receiving no answer beyond silence and awkward shuffling.

The seal master stared at the gathered Kumo shinobi blankly for a long moment, before pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Right. Look guys, if you aren't going to take this seriously, then I'm going home." the jinchuuriki sighed, getting up. "It's been fun, Hachi, we gotta do it again sometime." He nodded to the older ninja, who was observing the whole situation with an odd expression on his face. "Just no family this time, okay? Well, not unless they are female, hot and really stacked. Really. I'm serious. I don't think I can deal with that sorta disappointment again, you know?"

Genzai nodded slowly, looking at the surreal scene with bewilderment.

"Great." Naruto waved, turning towards the exit, which finally shook Saburo out of his stupor.

"Where the fuck do you think you're going?!" the bishounen snarled.

"To the nearest expensive brothel, where I'm going to hire a few of the most expensive courtesans to fuck senseless, drown myself in booze, win entire fortunes and ancestral holdings from some samurai along with their wives and/or any female relatives, if they are sexy enough, and then get a blowjob from said relatives in public just to piss the samurai off enough to fight and defeat them in a casual yet humiliating manner."

Naruto frowned thoughtfully.

"Then I think I'll go to Golden Sparrow and try to seduce Yata and screw her brains out until she's a drooling mass of raw pleasure unable to even think anymore. If that doesn't work, I'm sure Chigusa-san will accommodate me." The seal master he nodded, rubbing his chin. "She's seriously hot and that kind of woman is like fine wine, you know? She just might be enough to wash down that bitter cup of disappointment you served me, bug."

Saburo growled, grabbing the lapels of the seal master's haori.

"Don't _fuck_ with me you miserable drunk!" he hissed, a vein throbbing on his temple.

Naruto looked down at the hand twisting the silk of his haori, before looking up at its owner.

"There are two types of people that are allowed to do that," He said pleasantly "The first being sexy women, the other being my best friend, who is often both the former and the latter. You are neither. Hands off, worm."

"Your bravado isn't-!"

The wet crack broken was unexpectedly loud in the sudden silence that reigned in the inn, though the sound of the table cracking audibly as it met Saburo's face dwarfed it by a fair margin.

Naruto let go of the ninjas' hair, letting him slide down to the floor dazedly, leaving a bloody trail on the splintered wood.

"Feel lucky Yasa's not here, bug," Naruto said, looking down at the moaning shinobi at his feet. "See, that bitch is rather jealous of her privileges and gets rather violent when that sort of stuff happens." He shrugged. "Troublesome bitch, but what can you do."

Saburo raised his hand, touching the broken nose and gashes on his face gingerly.

"...y-you are... insane..." he said, shock overriding the pain. "....motherfucker... you are completely _insane_!" Fury slowly replaced the shock "I'm gong to-!"

"What, bleed on me?" Naruto rolled his eyes. "Stay down. Worms shouldn't leave the ground."

He chuckled as Saburos' group fidgeted in place, obviously torn between protecting their leader and guarding their objectives.

"Look Saburo, your toy soldiers are all anxious and stuff! Awww! They are _so_ cute, fidgeting like that!" the jinchuuriki said mockingly. "Don't worry, boys and girls! Since good things come to those who wait, I have something just for you!" He grinned "But first, a little riddle. Do you know what's the best way to deal with a high number of opponents at the same time efficiently?"

The blond swayed slightly, leaning forward as he looked at the gathered ninja.

"Come on, come on... don't be shy!" He encouraged them, waving his hand. "There is a lollipop for those who answer right, you know!"

True to his words, he waved the candy that appeared in his fingers out of nowhere.

"Oh come on, people! It's lemon, _lemon_! How can you _not_ want a lemon? I mean, _everybody_ likes lemons!" Naruto frowned. "...or is it just me? Hmm... that bitch loves lemons too, so I don't think so..." he scratched the blond mane, before shrugging. "Whatever. Anyway, any takers? Anyone?"

The shinobi stood there in awkward silence, obviously not quite sure what to do with the odd situation they found themselves in.

"No? Oh well," Naruto shrugged. "More for me I guess."

The seal master carefully opened the paper wrap around the treat, before popping it in his mouth with relish.

"Anyway, to deal with large number of opponents easily, the first thing you have to do," Naruto snapped his fingers, "is restricting their mobility."

Every corner of the inn exploded as the beautiful origami flowers, placed and sold for a very attractive price by a wandering saleslady barely hours before, opened. Blindingly fast, nearly invisible strings erupted form the numerous faint clouds of smoke, adding to the sudden confusion.

Naruto laughed as he watched the gathered shinobi trying to understand and react to the surprise, only to freeze as the faint light of the candles and lanterns by the celling glinted off the numerous wires strewn all over like some kind of over-sized, three dimensional web.

"I wouldn't try cutting it. Or even touching it, while we're at it" he said with amusement, grabbing a bottle. "Being Kumo ninja and all, I bet you know all about the joys of high voltage, so I don't think I need to explain what will happen if someone gets too friendly with these babies."

He poured himself some alcohol, taking a sip and sprawling himself lazily on the chair.

"Of course, that's if you're lucky. The ones that might have that odd, cheerfully bluish hue over them? These I'd avoid with _prejudice_ if I were you. To be quite honest, that toxin wasn't even mine in the first place, and that bitch has a really nasty sense of humor. I remember when she brewed that little thing that forced the victim to laugh to death." he tssked. "Ever seen somebody dying because he laughed too much?" Naruto nodded, smiling fondly at the memory. "It was funny though, I have to admit. Really, she's such a joker."

The ninja, wary before, literally froze in their positions, as did the rest of the patrons.

"Splendid!" The blond clapped "I knew we could reach an understanding! It's the first step in facilitating relations and terminating hostilities, you know?"

"You... you can't just-" Saburo said dumbly.

"That wire which happens to be _just_ over your throat looks kinda blue from where I'm sitting." Naruto said cheerfully, causing the young ninja to pale and close his mouth very carefully.

"You know, I'm really damn tired of people telling me what I can't do. I swear, some days it is all I hear, twenty four-seven. 'You can't do this!', 'This is impossible!' or my personal favorite 'You won't get away with this!'." The jinchuuriki rolled his eyes. "Honestly! You are all so damn fucking negative! Some positive thinking wouldn't hurt, you know? Have some faith! For once I'd like to hear about what I can-"

"You can shut up and do what you are told." A chilly female voice interrupted him, causing the blond to blink.

"Oh?" The jinchuuriki turned to the owner, a short, well built woman, her black jumpsuit and mask identifying her as a part of Saburo's force. "Interesting... and why would I do that?"

The kodachi in her hand didn't glint, covered as it was with matte black paint for night work.

"Or the pretty little thing will lose her head slowly and gruesomely, Kusanagi-dono." The kunoichi said blandly from her place behind Keisei.

"Yuri..." Saburo's eyes were wide with fear and shock. "What the _hell_ are you doing?!"

"Accomplishing the mission." The kunoichi retorted calmly.

Saburo paled.

"Are you blind, woman?!" he hissed. "These wires-"

"Are an obstacle to be overcome." Yuri's cool voice didn't change one iota.

"...are you insane?!" The bishounen growled. "You insolent whore...! Minase will have your head the very moment she hears of this!"

"I highly doubt that, considering my orders come straight from Saki-sama herself." the kunoichi said, a spark of ruthless amusement dancing in her eyes.

"...what...?" Saburo said dumbly. "...Minase did...? That's... that's impossible... Saki-chan would never-"

"The proper form is 'Minase-sama'," Yuri corrected him with ruthless amusement. "But don't worry, 'captain'. I'll be sure to tell her of your... contributions."

The bishounen stared at the kunoichi in silent shock, not able to utter a word.

"Now," the kodachi's edge pressed a bit on Keisei's neck. "I regret it had come to this, but you will follow my orders from now on."

"Gambling type, aren't you?" Naruto raised an eyebrow, crossing his arms on his chest. "And what makes you think her life means anything to me, hmm?"

"I am neither blind nor deaf, Kusanagi-dono," Yuri said calmly "You don't speak with such pride of a whore you picked up on the town. Whether she is a favored concubine, or maybe someone even closer to you I don't know. The fact remains."

Her grip on Keisei's hair wasn't rough - if anything, it was quite gentle, even if firm, but it didn't fail to drag the mermaid's head back a tiny bit, exposing her bare neck.

"This farce had gone for long enough. I assure you I don't enjoy harming noncombatants, but for every... difficulty on your part, this young lady will lose a piece of her beautiful body in the most painful way possible." Yuri's clear, green eyes were icy and focused, but her tone was as bland as if she was discussing weather. "I'd appreciate if you went with us without any further incident."

Naruto blinked owlishly.

"Excuse me, but I'm not quite sure if I heard right," he said, giving Yuri an odd look. "Just to be sure, but... are you telling me you're using Keisei as a... hostage?"

The kunoichi nodded curtly.

"Oh." The jinchuuriki said dumbly, staring at her for a moment, before leaning forward, palms covering his face as a strangled gasp escaped his throat.

Yuri blinked, staring at the shaking nobleman for a moment with surprise. She knew that he and that girl had to be close, but she obviously underestimated how close.

For a moment, even her hardened shinobi spirit wavered, seeing the grief that reduced the proud, arrogant man into this sobbing wreck. Sure, the man was an asshole of the first order, but she had to admit, the way he humiliated Saburo was amusing. Besides, someone who handle being outnumbered the way he did was a man worthy of respect. She was enough of a professional to admit that it was only his own arrogance that caused him to lose. If not for that hostage, Yuri had no doubt that Kusanagi would walk out of the inn without much of a problem.

Enemy or not, seeing such a man so... broken left a bad taste in her mouth, even if it meant her victory. Most shinobi wouldn't care, maybe even finding it a reward in itself, but Yuri's family had been court samurai for centuries, and some thing went deeper than training.

"Kusanagi-dono," she said after a moment, clearly uncomfortable. "I assure you, that if you comply with our request, there will be n-."

"Bwahahahahahahaha!"

Yuriko, along with the gathered shinobi, simply stared as Naruto threw his head back, slamming his hand on the table as he continued to laugh uproariously.

"Y-you- hahahahahaha wan- ahahaha want t-t-to...?" The blond choked out, before giving up and resuming his hysterical laughter. "Oh Benten, Benten, my lovely, fair and graceful Lady Fortune...! Thank you so much for sending these fools my way! A shrine! It deserves a _shrine_!" he hammered the table with his fist a few times, tears flowing as his whole body shook with mirth. "Oh gods...! I haven't laughed like this...!" The jinchuuriki tried to make a solemn face, though his lips were twitching like mad. "Oh dear! You hold my beautiful Keisei hostage, with such a deadly _sword_ to her throat! Oh the horror! Oh the humanity! Whatever, oh whatever shall I do?" He intoned in a pompous voice, palm on his heart, before breaking into another fit of mad laughter. "Oh this is_ beautiful_! Honestly I- ahahaha...! I just have to tell Yasa about it! This is just... just...!" the seal master choked.

Yuri, unable to utter a word, just stared at the hysterical nobleman with confusion.

Naruto wiped his eyes, the strangled chuckles escaping his throat for a few moments yet.

"You just don't get it, do you?" He said softly with an odd smile. "Of course you don't. I don't blame you, though. How could you?" The jinchuuriki shook his head, taking a generous sip of wine to water his throat, dry because of the uproarious laughter. "But don't worry, don't worry! Since you made me laugh, I'll try to explain."

The blond leaned in his chair, looking at the rafters for a moment, before puring himself a full cup and looking at Yuri, his eyes almost luminous in the discreet shadows of the inn.

"Do you know the story of Urashima Taro?" He asked finally.

Yuri simply stared at him, her kodachi not moving an inch.

"No? Well, I guess with you being a hard working shinobi and all you don't have much time for old stories, now do you?" The jinchuuriki laughed softly. "Long ago there was a young fisherman. He wasn't anyone extraordinary by any stretch of imagination, but a good man none the less. One day, like every day of his life before, he went out with his modest boat to work his trade. The bounty of the sea was poor this day, however, and the only thing he spotted was a turtle, trapped in a small harbor between the stones. While he knew he would go hungry, he took pity on the young animal that struggled fruitlessly, and couldn't bring himself to harm it, so helped it out of the harbor and let it go with his blessings."

Naruto peered into his cup, though his eyes were obviously far away, looking at something different than everyone else saw.

"The next day, as always, he went out with his boat, hoping that this catch would be better, but when he reached the sea, his boat was stopped by a huge shark. Fearing for his life -and rightly so, because the shark was beyond any he had ever seen and his boat was small - he was making his peace with the gods and readying himself to die, when something strange happened. The shark, instead of eating him and his boat with one bite, spoke to him in a polite, well-mannered speech." Naruto grinned. "'Young fisherman' it spoke 'you have performed a great service to our Lord yesterday! Rejoice, for my most mighty and noble Lord wants to reward you!'"

Yuri blinked, her whole body freezing with shock as the blond's words boomed, carrying within them an undercurrent of flowing water and waves, to her shock.

"Now Taro was a simple man, and confused, but the shark was huge and he dared not to voice a protest. As such, he said nothing when the messenger took him to the depths. Although he was sure he would drown, to his surprise he found he could breathe in the water as if he was on land. Noting his surprise, the shark only laughed.

"'This is only the first of many gifts my Lord will bestow upon you, young one.' He said knowingly. 'Be not afraid - humble you might have been born, but honored you will be through every sea and stream from this day!'" Naruto paused for a moment, taking a swing out of his cup, observing the spellbound audience. A good story was one thing - but theatrical flair and a few tricks made the audience eat out of your hand, especially when one could weave a bit of illusionary charm.

He was no Sasuke, but that didn't mean he didn't master his own brand of that particular art.

"If Taro was astonished by that, the picture that he saw once they arrived at the bottom of the sea left him utterly speechless. For there, in the greatest depths, laid a palace both larger and more magnificent that he could have imagined before. The messenger didn't allow him to bask in its glory, though, taking him straight to the grandiose throne chamber. Now while Taro was scared by the shark while it appeared, it was nothing compared to the sight that met him as they arrived, for within the huge chamber laid an immense, majestic green dragon. However, to Urashima's surprise, he noticed the small turtle he saved resting near the dragon without fear - the very same turtle he saved the day before, in fact.'"

The incense smoke filling the inn coalesced, and the spectators gasped as a grandiose serpentine form flowed around the storyteller, circling him slowly, before dissipating back into the smoke it was formed of.

"'Do not be afraid, young mortal.' Said the dragon kindly. 'No harm will come to you. In fact, I have brought you here to honor you and your deeds, for you have proven worthy by the virtue compassion few would even consider.'

"To Urashima's astonishment, the turtle was bathed in radiance, and as it faded, in the place of a turtle stood the most beautiful woman Urashima had ever laid his hand upon, her eyes shining like pearls and beautiful, sea-green hair spilling like waves.

"'For you see, young one.' The dragon smiled knowingly, 'the humble creature you saved was none other than my daughter. For this, you have my eternal thanks.'

"And thus Urashime met the sea princess Otohime. They were both young, and after the dragon king gave them his blessings, were wed shortly after. The dragon also kept his word, and Urashima was honored and his name known and revered through every sea and stream. Otohime and Urashima lived happily under the waves, their love strong and lasting, but alas, one day the young man felt homesick, and wished to see his old parents. Noticing her husband's sorrow, Otohime guided him to the shore so he could see his loved ones again. Before she let him on the trip, however, she gave him a small, ornate box. 'You must never open it, my husband.' she cautioned him sternly. 'As long as you are on the shore, you must never allow it to open, or you shall never return to me again.' Urashima promised fervently never to open the box and set out for his village." Naruto sighed, shaking his head.

"However, when Urashima came to his home, his pockets full of gold and gifts, he found only strangers. His home was gone, his parents had vanished, the people he knew were nowhere to be seen. He asked if anybody knew a man called Urashima Taro, but everyone he questioned answered that they had heard someone of that name had vanished at sea long ago. While he was still young and strong, everyone he knew was long gone as centuries passed. Distraught by grief, Taro sat on a large stone, accidentally causing the box Otohime gave him to open."

Naruto's voice turned scraggly, raspy, as if it belonged to an old man on a verge of death.

"He suddenly aged, his beard grew long and white, and his back bent. He was now a very old man. And from the sea came the sorrowful cry of his beloved. 'I warned you not to open the box, my love. Your mortal age was in it...'"

Silence reigned for a moment, and the jinchuuriki stared into his cup thoughtfully, before rising his head, a strange glint in his eyes.

"Now I bet you're just dying to ask just what does that old story has to do with the situation, eh?" He smiled, causing Yuri to look at him warily.

It wasn't a nice smile by any measure - it was toothy, mocking but also holding a spark of ruthless intelligence that made her well-honed danger sense ring every alarm bell in her mind.

"It's simple, my darling, if ignorant little shinobi." The blond's voice was smooth, "Unlike Urashima, I'm not a fool enough to open my own box."

Yuri's eyes widened as her hostage smiled... and walked forward, the kunoichi's kodachi passing through her harmlessly, as if...

'...as if through water...' she thought dumbly, as Keisei walked out of her grasp, letting the edge pass through her without any sign of discomfort, before turning to the kunoichi and looking at her with a raised eyebrow.

The elf-like ears twitched, the long mane spilling behind the former hostage as if they were alive, but it wasn't what caused Yuri to freeze.

The unsettling, knowing gaze, eyes sparkling like gemstones as the dark skin started to slowly change color and the frame filled, on the other hand...

"I don't need to fear that box at all." Naruto's chuckle caused the shinobi to break out of their stupor. "In fact... as long as she is with me..."

Keisei's tall, regal form expanded, causing the clothes on her to tighten to the verge of breaking, the azure skin gaining its usual, soft but gem-like quality, the mane achieving its rightful, blue-green luster.

"I don't need to fear _anything at all_."

The mermaid threw her head back, stretching with lazy grace as a small current of water danced on her fingertips. Her sparkling, inhuman eyes looked down at the shinobi around her, judging and weighing, before dismissing them as utterly inconsequential.

The tiny, sparkling mist over the tips of her fingers coalesced into a smooth shape, which danced around her gracefully like a sash made out of pure water, and in a moment, she _was_ that sash, darting halfway through the building, only to spin around Naruto, a hiss of flowing stream akin to laughter as she caressed her master, mocking the shinobi surrounding him with an easy grace.

"Keisei, the Queen of the Current." Naruto said proudly, stretching his hand out and caressing the dancing water gently as it coalesced back into the female shape, her arms holding him tight and close, ignoring anyone else. "The true queen among summons - the ultimate embodiment of water given form." He laughed, shaking his head. "And you... you tried to take her hostage...?"

The water around him exploded, breaking nearby tables and causing the people to fall to the ground as the raging stream pushed them with contemptuous ease, slamming and weaving under pressure that put most jutsu to shame.

"You dare threaten her? Touch her with your _filthy_ hands, even dare to use her against me?! You ignorant vermin!" he hissed through the raging torrent. "Know your shame! Know your _place_!"

For a moment, the seething killer intent almost suffocated the patrons of the inn, only to lift as if it was never there as Naruto laughed - or cackled rather - even as he sat back by his table.

"But it was funny, I gotta give you that! Utterly, totally moronic, but really damn funny!" the jinchuuriki said cheerfully, causing the bewildered patrons to simply stare at him with wide eyes. "Oh man... the _look on your faces_... I'll treasure it forever!" he chuckled, taking a full cup of wine that floated to him on the spinning water current.

"One summon doesn't- "Yuri started, only to pause, look at Keisei thoughtfully and close her mouth.

"Oooh, a smart girl. I like that!" Naruto said with amusement. "I had some tricks up my sleeve ready for you if you were stupid, and it'd be a shame to waste them, so..." he reached up, caressing Keisei's cheek "Honey...?"

The summon raised one eyebrow, before smiling.

Yuri's eyes widened as the heavy mist started to coalesce around the entire inn. Or rather already coalesced. She had fought against elite Suiton users before, but never had she seen the Kirigakure no jutsu done so fast or so well. Especially not without any water source nearby.

"I could simply walk out of here, you know, and there'd be no way you'd be able to stop me." Naruto's cheerful voice echoed through the mist "But where would the fun in that be, hmm?"

Yuri stiffened as she felt... something just at the edge of her awareness, spin and wave around her, and her eyes widened as something soft circled her neck.

"...what the-?!" She sad with surprise, trying to pull it from her throat, only to fall to her knees as it tightened, suffocating her in an instant.

"Now now, no touchie," The blond said mockingly as the mist started to dissipate slowly.

Yuri gasped as the silk collar on her throat loosened slightly, allowing her to breathe. She breathed heavily, greedily, trying to get some air back to her lungs.

"The funny collars you have on your throats are all sealed to tighten if you try to remove them.... or if I do _this_." Naruto's left hand closed slightly, as if holding something, causing the black-clad kumo shinobi to tear at their throats as the sealed silk started to tighten again. "So pissing me off right now...?" Naruto let his grip slacken, the silk following suit. "Not a smart idea." He blinked, before rising an eyebrow "...Hachi, is that cute waitress really so kinky she wants a collar too?" He said mildly, turning to the old ninja, who was observing the situation curiously from his seat, which was left untouched by Keisei's 'rampage'.

The old man raised an eyebrow, looking at the waitress who was stealthily approaching Naruto from behind with a kunai, only to freeze at his words.

Genzai looked her in the eyes, shaking his head slightly.

The young woman licked her lips, obviously unsure what to do, only to panic as a black blur spun over her throat, leaving behind a rather elegant strip of silk circling her throat, before floating back to Naruto's head.

"That utterly charming and twice as lethal delivery girl is Soi, by the way." The jinchuuriki said cheerfully. "Anyone else game for a brand spanking new silk collar courtesy of Shikigami Deliveries?" He raised an eyebrow, looking over the gathered people "Excellent." He clapped with a grin. "Now, since we know what's what, I have a proposition for you. Dear not-quite-patrons - everyone who isn't a beautiful woman or a good drinking buddy of mine - OUT." he pointed at the door. "Every reasonably attractive woman - stay."

The crowd just stood there, motionless.

Naruto frowned.

"Is every Kumo ninja deaf or something?" He said with irritation, waving his hand "Go home and... I don't know, polish your hitai-ate or something."

The number of patrons stood up, giving Naruto a dark look, hands tightening into fists.

Keisei smiled sweetly, a large, pointy trident coalescing in her hand.

The jinchuuriki sighed, pointing at the door.

"Go. Away."

At that Hachigoro couldn't help himself, bursting out laughing.

"And what's so damn funny?" Naruto's eyebrow twitched.

"The wires, brat." The old man said chuckling "Your wires all all over the place. They can't _move_."

"...huh?" The blond blinked, looking at the older shinobi dumbly. "Ooooh! Ack! Right! Sorry about that! I totally forgot! Excitement and all..." he murmured with embarrassment, snapping his fingers and causing the wires to vanish back into their seals. "My bad! No hard feelings, right?" He smiled sunnily, drawing incredulous stares from every ninja present.

"Man, talk about tough crowd," the seal master muttered, watching the patrons go, before grabbing a nearest empty bottle and smashing it down, straight into Saburo's head. "And who allowed _you_ to get up, eh?" he leaned forward, shaking the pieces of the bottle from his hand.

"...y-you said-" The young Kumo ninja said dazedly.

"Oh, that? That was addressed to _people_." Naruto's grin was in the best vulpine tradition - wide, toothy and squinting his eyes so hard it looked as if they were closed. "Worms don't walk."

The humiliated Kumo captain stared at the jinchuuriki mutely for a while, only to pale slightly as Keisei's emerald gaze focused on him with a slight frown. Proving he did indeed have some self preservation instincts left, Saburo dropped on his stomach fast enough to cause the wooden tiles to shake.

"Well?" Naruto waved his hand in the general direction of the doors. "Go on, go on."

The jounin gritted his teeth, looking at his tormentor sullenly, but after the moment, he slid forward, wiping the dirty floor with his expensive robes.

Naruto looked on with interest for a moment, before snapping his fingers, grabbing a sheet of paper and a brush form thin air.

For a long while the inn was filled with only the sounds of scraped paper and cloth slowly, painfully wiping the tiles in its humiliating road towards the door.

As Saburo was reaching the door, Naruto blinked, looking up from the paper.

"Oh, worm?" He called

Saburo stopped, turning towards his tormentor with a sour and a bloody, dirty face.

"These superiors of yours... I'd guess they don't take such failure well, do they?" The blond tapped his chin with the end of the brush thoughtfully. "But of course _that_ isn't something to worry about. On the other hand, I think Raikage would be very interested just what do his ninja do in their spare time. Especially if it involves jeopardizing a deal he already authorized." Naruto frowned thoughtfully "Put like that... it does sound uncomfortably like treason, doesn't it? My my, such unwholesome business. But I'm sure your powerful friends will help you." He nodded sagely. "After all, to err is human and all that. One failure won't make them too angry, now will it?"

The dirty bishounen's eyes widened.

Genzai blinked, before smirking viciously at the panicked expression on his nephew's face.

"I told you I'd be there, nephew. Never imagined it coming so quickly, though." He said with satisfaction, causing Saburo to whimper. "I guess good things come to those who wait after all. Don't crawl away too far, eh? I think it's time we had a little talk, eh? A true family heart-to-heart."

If there was any shred of defiance left in the young jounin, it was gone now, along with anything resembling dignity as the man slumped, crawling out of the door with a rather miserable grimace on his bleeding, dirty face.

"...was he crying?" Naruto asked curiously.

"Probably. He always was a bit of a pansy." Genzai nodded with a forlorn sigh. "Seriously, no fortitude, that boy! I'm ashamed they made him a jounin, let alone that he is a member of my family." He shook his head in mock sadness. "I think I'm really gonna have a talk with that boy. A long, honest talk."

"Isn't your heart simply bleeding at the thought?" the jinchuuriki said with a smirk

"As fuck." the old ANBU commander said seriously, before losing his composure and laughing loudly as he grabbed a bottle, pouring himself a hearty cup, toasting towards Naruto.

Naruto returned the toast, draining the cup dry, before slamming it down with a satisfied sigh.

"Well now, since that part is done... oi, you!" He waved at the short kunoichi "Yuri, wasn't it?"

The kunoichi nodded, looking at Naruto warily.

"Cool." The jinchuuriki said jovially. "Mind taking off that mask?"

Yuri looked at Naruto without a word for a moment. On one hand, unmasking herself was a breach of secrecy, on the other her cover was shot to hell anyway, thanks to Saburo calling her by name. Not to mention Genzai had really good memory. She'd bet that he could guess who she was anyway, and could pass the info on to his drinking buddy simply out of spite. The old man was a bastard like that. There really was no point in dragging this farce on either way - she was done no matter what she did at this point given the catastrophe this operation turned into.

Naruto's eyes widened as the hood came off, revealing slightly sharp, but still undeniably attractive features of a woman in her early or mid thirties. It was hard to tell - while the kunoichi didn't posses that timeless quality Sasuke-chan or Chigusa did, Yuri was attractive in a bit starker, though no less beautiful way. Now that she wasn't lurking in the shadows, it was also plain to see that while her figure was by no means a lithe, sleek form of a usual kunoichi, it was by no means fat - strongly built, her curves were lush but also very toned. Her hands were obviously very strong, but legs weren't far behind, given what the tight bodysuit showed.

"Well fuck me sideways..." The jinchuuriki whistled. "Aren't you a MILF."

Yuri raised one golden eyebrow, another oddity. For some reason, he'd never have pegged her as a blonde, and yet she was - deep, golden shine that put even his natural hair to shame.

"First Yugito-chan, now you..." he smiled, rubbing his neck. "Man, Cloud really has some damn fine women in their service, don't they?"

"Would you like me to arrange some dates?" Yuri said dryly

"Oh no, don't bother. I have what I need here already," Naruto waved his hand lazily.

"True enough," the kunoichi nodded.

"Cool as cucumber, aren't you?" he cocked his head to the side slightly, observing the woman intently. "Your fate is in my hands and you're not even nervous."

"You'll do what you'll do, I can't do anything. You've proven that to Saburo." Yuri shrugged. "Fearing what I can't change won't help me any. Fear is the mind killer."

"'Little-death that brings total obliteration', huh?" Naruto murmured, causing Yuri's eyes to widen considerably.

"You know... much." she said softly.

"Saaa... who knows?" His smile was odd, completely out of place on a face of a drunken, spoiled blueblood and more akin to one seen on one of these infuriating ancient masters who favored cryptic riddles and zen koans, just before whacking you on the head with a cane for some imagined mistake. "But that's a story for another day, eh?"

And just like that, the lecherous gaze, tinged with drunken arrogance was back as if it never left, causing Yuri to wonder if she really saw anything in the first place or if she was reading too deeply.

"Anyway, back to the business at hand. Catch."

Yuri caught a folded piece of paper deftly, opening it and freezing as her eyes caught the contents.

She blinked owlishly, before looking at Naruto incredulously.

"You are, of course, joking." the woman said flatly.

Naruto's sunny smile was so bright it almost lit the room as he raised his left hand, tightening it slightly for a moment.

The kunoichi winced as the silk collar choked her again.

"...right. Stupid question." She coughed, rubbing her throat "But how are we to-" the voluptuous blonde paused as a sizable bag hit the tiles before her with a loud, metallic sound. She picked it up, opening it slightly, only to shake her head at the contents with amazement. "Aren't you just so thoughtful," the newly christened MILF said with a sigh.

"I have my moments." Naruto said modestly. "By the way - clock's ticking."

"Right." Yuri muttered, before turning to the collared kunoichi. "Ladies?" She nodded towards the door.

The women looked at each other, only to pale slightly as Naruto waved his left hand again. They swallowed and meekly followed Yuri to the door.

Genzai frowned thoughtfully, staring after the women until the last one marched out the door.

"Just what the hell are you scheming now, brat?" he asked curiously.

Naruto said nothing, simply grinning.

Hachigoro looked at him for a moment, before sighing.

"I'm going to need more wine, won't I?" he said flatly.

Naruto's grin only widened.

"Right." the old man muttered. "More wine it is."

* * *

In the end, wine proved to be a mixed blessing. On one hand, it made Hachi somewhat numb, which was actually good. On the other, he still choked on it once he saw the kunoichi return.

"What in the world_..._?" the old man said dumbly.

The bodices were tighter and skimpier than most swimsuits, hugging the curves in most flattering way, the cuffs sharing their color. The stockings varied - some fishnet, some fine and almost elegant, but each almost sinfully caressing the legs they covered. The heels were no ninja sandals some of the more vain kunoichi sometimes wore - they were straight, through and through 'fuck me' heels, though varying in types; from classic stilettos to knee-high 'bitch boots'. Each and every pair couldn't be called cheap by any stretch of imagination - that kind of quality one usually paid for more than for a week with a good courtesan. Because of that, the otherwise trashy accent came off as looking hot but also classy in some strange way.

The fluffy, strategically planted tails were uniformly white, drawing just the right amount of attention to themselves and to the taut buttocks they were affixed to - Genzai would bet that this was anything but accidental, given how the brat was grinning.

Then there were the ears. Like cuffs, they were the same color as the not-there corsets, but each was subtly different. Some were straight, pointing almost proudly into the air, others were slightly bent, or one ear flopped in a fashion that would be simply cute otherwise, but in this circumstances was just sexy.

The Kumogakure ANBU commander blinked owlishly, staring at the women that were proud, professional kunoichi not too long ago.

"...bunny girls." Hachigoro said with disbelief, turning to the amused blond. "You turned kunoichi into _bunny girls_."

"Hey," Naruto shrugged, "every kunoichi here is fit and has a really nice body. Besides, Kumo chicks are just plain exotic," he leered, causing some of the more self-conscious women in bunny suits to shift nervously and even blush in case of younger ones. "Look at the curves! Taut and smooth, but with a hint of hardness... mmm, just like a sharp sword with a velvet sheath! And such variety! I mean, how could I allow them to go to waste, Hachi? That'd be simply _criminal_!" the jinchuuriki said with indignation.

Hachi looked at Naruto oddly for a long moment.

"Criminal. Yeah," he said, nodding slowly, corners of his lips twitching despite his best efforts. He snorted, before taking one more look at the small herd of bunny girls and snickering openly.

"And they don't just look damn good!" The jinchuuriki said with a leer, which caused several of the women to cringe and blush. "Ladies?"

The bunnies looked at each other, before turning to Yuri who was, contrary to her compatriots, taking the whole situation in stride.

"Hey, it beats the alternative." she said with a shrug.

The rest of the bunny girls seemed to deflate at that, reluctantly forming a roughly even line.

"I don't have all day, my cute little cloud bunnies." Naruto pointed out cheerfully, waving his left hand, causing the women to blanch a little and bend forwards a little as one, assuming similar position.

Hachi blinked.

There was something a little bit familiar about that-

"Little bunny Foo Foo,"

Skip. Hop. Hop.

"hopping through the forest"

The ANBU commander stared as the formerly proud assassins... hopped, high heels and all like, well, bunnies.

And wiggled. Let's not forget the wiggling.

"Scooping up the field mice,"

And bowing - with legs straight - as if scooping something.

Wiggle, wiggle.

"and bopping them on the head"

The clap wasn't particularly strong, but Hachi had to admit it did... interesting things to skimpily clad, almost naked bottoms.

"Hey hey, I'm not hearing a thing, babes!" Naruto clapped his hands a few time loudly. "Come on, come on! Put some heart into it, or the encore will be naked, and with a large audience!"

"...and bopping them on the..._head_."

SLAP! SLAP!

"Yeah! That's the stuff!" Naruto cheered the brightly blushing kunoichi enthusiastically.

"Down came the Good Fairy," the hopping was replaced by slow, measured steps forward, with one hand on the hip, followed by a languid, sensual bow as they slid to the floor, as if landing, "and she said: Little bunny Foo Foo,"

Wiggle, wiggle.

"I don't want to see you scooping up the field mice,"

And there it went, that damnable, yet oh-so-sexy bow - submissive yet proud at the same time. Or it would be, if not what followed.

"...and bopping them on the head."

SLAP! SLAP!

Wiggle, wiggle.

Hachi, by that point, stopped the pretense and started to laugh like crazy, his mirth only interrupted by Naruto's loud cheers and whistles.

"ENCORE! ENCORE!" Naruto shouted enthusiastically, laughing loudly. "Come on, shake it, baby! Hell yeah! Shake the walls outta this joint!"

The women hung their heads, blushing like crazy, but Yuri simply shrugged.

"Little bunny Foo Foo..."

Naruto had to admit, the blonde had a really nice voice - smoky and a little raspy, just enough to turn the old child song into a piece of sinful innuendo.

A moment later kunoichi's voice was the last thing he paid attention to.

"Hell yeah!" He leered "I told you it'd be so much better!" the seal master said to Hachi with a grin.

"Oh yeah, that you did." Hachi poured himself another cup, observing the wiggling tails, swaying busts and taut bodies with rapt interest. He was respectably into his late middle age, not dead after all. And he had to admit - kid threw one hell of a party.

Hachi smirked.

Good booze, good scenery, captured traitors and certain noble vultures to hit where it really hurts in the nearby future. Retirement? Screw retirement! It was a good day to be alive and a great time to be a Kumo shinobi!

"Hey, you there! Put some enthusiasm into that wiggle! People will talk we have lazy, third rate ninja! Kumo's honor is at stake! Shake it like you mean it, girl!"

Wiggle, wiggle.

* * *

It took another encore and a few more songs, accompanied by copious amount of wine for Naruto to be finally satisfied enough to let the kunoichi turned bunnies off the hook, and Hachigoro would be hard pressed to decide which was the main reason for the brat to call it quits. Though he had to admit that given the sheer amount of wine drank, kid was holding it together pretty good.

"Man, that was great!" the jinchuuriki said happily, eying the sweaty, flushed bunny girls with a grin. "I didn't know Kumo kunoichi knew such songs - or moves!"

"What can I say, we're talented." Yuri said sarcastically, sweeping her slightly sweat-matted hair back.

She was never going to disrespect exotic dancers and courtesans ever again. While it might not look it, all that hopping, jumping and twisting around and looking good at the same time was way harder than it looked. In _heels_ to boot! The moment she met any of these girls who did it professionally, she was going to shake their hand. And ask for tips. Honestly, she was a veteran kunoichi - stuff like that shouldn't be so irritatingly hard.

"Oh yeah, _very_ talented." Jinchuuriki's grin became an all out leer, which caused Yuri to just raise an eyebrow.

"Honestly, are you never tired of that?" she asked, observing the drunk noble curiously. "Doesn't it get, I dunno, boring after a while?"

Naruto chuckled softly.

"You know, you're the second woman to ask me that recently." he said, rubbing his chin "The answer is absolutely not and not really. Not if done right."

Yuri's eyebrow rose a mite.

"Now isn't your lordship just so modest," she murmured.

"Eh, who cares about modesty," Naruto shrugged "If you got it, flaunt it I say! That's my philosophy!"

"Yes, so I gathered." the kunoichi said dryly, pulling off the bunny ears from her hair, carefully folding them as she picked up a black jacket who used to be a part of her uniform before bunny conversion, and throwing it over her shoulders carelessly, not really covering anything.

"...uh, that's it?" Naruto said, scratching his head, only to get a questioning look from the stacked blonde. "You ain't gonna change?"

"Not really. I'm sweaty, and I need to wash it tonight anyway." kunoichi shrugged "No sense in adding to it."

"Washing?" the jinchuuriki blinked

"The costume," Yuri tugged at the corset she was wearing thoughtfully "I rather like it, actually. Excellent craftsmanship and cloth, if absurdly expensive. Shame for it to go to waste." She frowned, before nodding. "Oh, and I'm taking the shoes too."

Naruto stared at the voluptuous woman strangely.

"Do you have any idea how hard is to find comfortable, elegant shoes like that?" she tapped her chin. "Also, I admit it's the first time I wore shoes that cost more than my monthly wage. I rather like the experience, actually. Very comfortable."

The seal master nodded slowly.

"I... see."

"Hope you don't mind, of course." Yuri raised an eyebrow. "But since you did buy them for us and all..."

"Uh, actually I didn't really think that far," Naruto admitted, "but if you like 'em, I have no problem with that."

"Really?" Yuri blinked, before turning to the bar where the rest of the bunnies were changing. "Girls, we can take the shoes!" she frowned, turning back to Naruto "They can, right?"

"Sure, I guess..." the blond muttered, scratching his head.

Naruto blinked at the bar shelves, barely covering the kunoichi who had been changing there in some last ditch attempt at at least illusion of modesty. Illusion that was promptly broken as a short, surprisingly orderly scramble took place among the women.

Hachi smirked, sipping his sake.

"Now I'd really start to be careful if I were you, kid." he said with amusement "A kunoichi with a grudge is bad enough, but with this, they'll have twice the reason to go after you now."

"Huh..." Naruto muttered. "So... is it a bad moment to mention these collars double as chakra weapons?"

Yuri froze, blinking.

"...what?" she said incredulously.

"Well, it ai't nothin' big," Naruto rubbed his neck with embarrassment. "They just become stiff and sharp and stuff. Like swords. Or whips." He frowned. "Well, they will in a week or so, after my chakra's gone out of 'em."

Yuri stared at her former target for a long moment without a word.

"What? _What_?!" Naruto snapped peevishly.

"Hey, kid... you do know they tried to kidnap you for possible torture and stuff, right?" Hachigoro poked his drinking buddy with his cup.

"Eh, who cares about that - they make _great_ bunny girls!" Naruto shrugged "Good job, good pay an' all that. Fair's fair I say."

"You are... a very strange man, Kusanagi-sama." Yuri said finally, shaking her head slowly. "I do hope we meet again some day in better circumstances.."

"Will you dance Bunny Foo Foo for me then?" Naruto asked hopefully.

"Hmm, who knows," Yuri chuckled softly, turning on her heel and walking towards the exit, followed by the rest of the kunoichi. "I just might, Kusanagi-sama. I just might."

Naruto watched the women go out, the doors of the inn closing in sudden and abrupt silence behind the last kunoichi.

"You hate to see them go, but love to watch them walking away, huh?" the blond murmured finally, leaning into Keisei's embrace. "Well, not like that was any secret."

"You could have kept them a while longer, ya know," Hachi murmured, swirling his drink lazily. "With the way things are, they ain't gonna be of much more use anyway. No one would have raised a fuss about it." he shrugged. "Hell, the way they fucked up... only fair, I'd guess."

"About that..." Naruto turned to the ANBU commander "Do you think Raikage could overlook that little bit?"

"Not bloody likely, kid." he snorted. "Even if it won't rank outright treason, we can't just leave them be, you know."

"I'm not saying leave them be or anything. They're just grunts in the end." the blond said placatingly. "You got more than you bargained for anyway, right?"

"And what, slap on the wrist and 'welcome back'?" Genzai said dryly "This ain't no fairy tale, kid. Traitors are-"

"Hey, no one asks you to trust them, right?" the jinchuuriki reasoned. "But you can use them, allow them to save their necks a little. I don't think that's too unfair, eh?"

The ANBU looked at his drinking buddy for a long while in silence.

"You have some really fucked up proprieties, you know that?" he said sourly. "Can't you ask for an assassination, military aid or something, you know _normal_ that wouldn't give me headaches?"

Naruto shrugged, his expression not changing one iota.

"All right, all right!" the jounin grumbled. "Seesh... for a crazy bastard you have a real soft spot for women."

"Women who make really hot bunny girls, Hachi." the jinchuuriki grinned."Hot, sexy bunny girls - remember that. We can't be cruel to such cute bunnies."

"Just don't come cryin' to me if one of these 'cute bunnies' stabs you in the middle of some fancy dinner or somethin'." Genzai grumbled "Don't say I didn't warn ya."

"Yeah, yeah." Naruto waved his hand dismissively. "Don't sweat the small stuff."

"Small stuff for whom?" the old man scowled.

"Feh." Naruto drained his cup, before standing up with a bit of a wobble.

"Going out?"

"Well, entertainment's gone, and if I drink too much I think Keisei'd have to carry me home." the seal master shrugged. "So I think I'll call it a night."

"Heh. Yeah. You did drink helluva lot," Genzai eyed a number of empty bottles on the table "I guess it does dull the pain, eh?"

Naruto blinked.

"And I guess it's useful in other ways, too." the ANBU commander muttered, picking a bottle. "Enough of that stuff, and no one will notice you're movin' a bit outta sorts, right?" He let it drop, looking at Naruto calmly.

The blond frowned, staring back at the older man.

"What the hell are you talking about, Hachi?" he said finally.

"You know kid, for a show off you didn't really _do_ much." the jounin leaned back, pouring himself another cup. "Isn't that weird? I'd think that a guy like you would love to show off all that shiny stuff - no one that well versed in seals can't know a good number of ninjutsu. Yet you didn't do a damn thing, save for some unsealing." He raised an eyebrow "Ain't that just strange?"

Naruto stared at the graying ninja for a long moment, before laughing sheepishly.

"You're an incredible old man, you know that?" he said rubbing his neck. "Is it really that obvious?"

"Obvious? Not really. But I noticed you moved a bit weird when we first met, especially for a guy trained to fight." Hachi frowned. "Then I saw you here, and that weirdness was muted - recovery time, chakra healing probably, right? But still not enough to be in top shape." he raised a cup a little. "Alcohol would make sense - any slip up could be explained by the fact you drank a wee bit too much. Nice idea, actually, if still stupidly risky and just plain stupid in general."

"Damn, you're a regular monster, aren't you?" the jinchuuriki said with amusement.

"I just got enough experience to pick up stuff like that." Hachi shrugged. "Plus, I wanted to be a doctor a long time ago. Some of it stuck."

"Some of it, my ass." Naruto said dryly, before sighing. "So what are you going to do now?"

"Do?" Hachi raised an eyebrow. "I won't really 'do' anything, maybe besides wishing you luck. I won't stop you, if that's what you're asking." he took a long sip of his wine. "I mean, why should I? You did Kumo quite a favor - twice to boot, and Raikage's orders were clear. Besides," he scratched his chin "I like you, kid. I think you've got a few screws loose in that noggin', no question, but I like you. I think you'll be a good way to keep vultures from our kitty too, precisely because of those loose screws." He chuckled. "And I gotta admit I do like your style. At the very least it's entertaining."

"What can I say, I hate boredom." Naruto shrugged.

"That I can believe, kid." Hachi chuckled. "Drop by Kumo sometime, I'll try to put together something up your alley."

"Well, if you've got more chicks like Yuri, I just might." Naruto smiled, turning towards the exit. "See ya, old man."

"Take care, kid." Hachi nodded, watching as the drunk noble vanished behind the doors.

Shaking his head, the old man poured himself a full cup with a faint smile, not even bothering to look up as a Hammer team ninja faded into being right out of his shadow.

"Did you find where by idiot nephew went?"

"Yes boss." the shinobi nodded. "We can move in any time."

"Good." Genzai took a sip of his wine with obvious relish. "Ahhh, that's the stuff." he muttered with satisfaction. Not the best wine he had ever had, but quite good non the less.

"Boss?" the kumo ninja hesitated, looking at his commander. "About Kusanagi... shouldn't we at least detain him for questioning?"

"Haru my boy, don't be an idiot." Hachigoro snorted. "Raikage wouldn't be all that pleased, for one, and I meant what I said - that guy is worth ten times more to Kumo alive, happy and kicking than as our 'guest'." he sighed. "Besides, taking him on is just stupid."

"Boss, I doubt one summon is worse threat than Yugito, and we can take her down." the young ninja said sceptically

"Yeah, and do what, start a national incident with Coral's samurai and shinobi as twitchy as they are right now?" Hachigoro shook his head "Besides, it ain't the summon I'm worried about. Tell me Haru, did you manage to replace that sword yet?"

The Hammer Team member blanched slightly.

"Yeah. Exactly." Hachi smirked. "And if you take the amount of money this guy throws around so casually into account, ask yourself just how many such little monsters he can hide up his sleeves, eh?"

"Ah," Haru nodded slowly "I... see."

"No, you don't." Hachi said bluntly. "But that's why I'm the commander and you ain't. Now scram. I've got wine to drink."

* * *

Naruto's carefully controlled breathing becoming ragged as he leaned on a wall heavily.

"Now this... was interesting..." he winced feeling a spike of pain vibrating through his solar plexus, a silent but nagging protest of his ravaged chakra system he was steadily ignoring for the past few hours.

So maybe, just maybe, forcing his body to channel enough chakra to unseal multiple seals while his body was dealing with what could only be described as copious amounts of damage, inside and out, wasn't the best idea.

It was just a theory, though.

He exhaled, closing his eyes for a moment, before wobbling, grabbing the wall for more support.

He blinked.

This wasn't supposed to-

The jinchuuriki sighed, a curse dying in his throat.

Of course it was.

His body's regeneration was based on chakra, most of it Kyuubi's to boot, and with half of his chakra system resembling a cracked pretzel...

So maybe forcing his regen factor to deal with absurd amounts of alcohol on top of aggravated injuries wasn't the best idea either.

Something wet and warm dribbled off his chin slowly, and he wiped it off, smiling humorlessly at the reddish tinge.

"Oh come _on_..." the seal master muttered dejectedly.

Sasuke was going to kill him. Kill him dead. Slowly.

He hoped.

Naruto chuckled, wiping the blood out.

"Aw, who am I kidding..."

A cool hand rested on his forehead and Naruto smiled at his companion, now back in her elven-like form.

The mermaid was looking at him intently, her usually bright eyes dark and full of worry.

Naruto smiled, spitting the last bit of coppery liquid that flooded his mouth and wiping his lips as he straightened out, ignoring the brief vertigo and ruthlessly suppressing hos body's numerous protests.

Sure, there were a dozen or so fancier methods for that, but he was too drunk and too tired to bother. Brute force and sheer willpower served him well his whole life anyway.

The jinchuuriki forced his body to relax, chasing away the stiffness, allowing the pain to spill over and through him. For a moment, the jolts grew in size and frequency with each heartbeat, only to subside slightly, becoming a dull, constant ache, but a bearable one. Aggravating the state or not, booze did help to dull it a little.

Keisei cocked her head, staring at him for a long moment, before grabbing his arm gently.

Naruto raised an eyebrow, looking at the summon's pretty face for a moment, before shrugging slightly.

The mermaid smiled slightly, her eyes regaining some of their shine - though even Naruto would be hard pressed to guess if it was natural or simply a reflection of a nearby lantern.

The back alley was poorly lit and led through a poorer part of the town, but anyone suicidal enough to target him tonight was going to get a rather nasty surprise, courtesy of a large butterfly resting on his arm in nothing short of ominous silence. Not that Soi was terribly chatty on the best of days (unless drunk, of course, but the effects of _that_ little experiment were both amusing and disturbing, to say the least) but given how she clammed up now, his precious little Shikigami was probably dreaming of stabbing someone dead. It'd prolly be a toss up between him or these Kumo ninja.

Any poor mugger who crossed her way tonight was going to meet a very sad fate indeed.

Sure, she was tiny - but the most potent poisons were sold in the smallest of vials for a reason.

Naruto frownwed as Soi cocked her head, looking at him expectantly. The shikigami and her master looked at each other for a moment, not saying a word.

"Fuck this. I really don't give a shit." he muttered finally, turning on his heel and walking away towards the Golden Sparrow, mermaid and shikigami in tow.

A long moment later a pale woman in a fetching though inexpensive yukata cocked a pure white eyebrow quizically she entered the now empty alley.

"Interesting." she said softly, the reddish eyes surveing the scene for a long moment before she calmly snapped open her bamboo umbrella just as the first drops of rain hit the ground.

A momen later the alley was empty, filled only with growing puddles and the sound of falling rain.

* * *

The world came to her slowly, sluggishly. This wasn't quite unexpected actually. Sasuke wasn't just a morning person, like many thought - she wasn't a person who liked to wake up quickly period.

If it was up to Sasuke, the process of waking up would be drawn a out affair, consisting of minimum of half an hour in bed, a snack with a cup of cofee, a long, hot bath, a hearty breakfast and a pot of freshly brewed tea. Sadly, as a shinobi she had to master waking up quickly, which she hated even in academy. Hence why Sasuke indulged in what she deemed as proper, civilized wake ups wherever she had opportunity to do so. Needless to say given the luxuries so abundant in Golden Sparrow, Sasuke indulged quite a bit.

Which is why she was quite cognizant of the fact that while the bed was comfortable, the sheets were first rate silk and pillows obviously quite fine, there was the distinct lack of the rest of her usual morning routine.

That, and her head hurt like the last time she challenged Naruto to a drinking contest without any medical aids and tricks on hand.

She opened her eyes, wincing slightly as light hit her overly sensitive pupils.

Oh yes, this was quite familiar and not exactly welcome. Problem was, she didn't remember drinking enough to warrant that state.

Sasuke-chan blinked.

In fact, she didn't remember drinking _period_.

She frowned, looking up.

"Unfamiliar ceiling." the Uchiha heiress muttered getting up, allowing the silk sheets to slide off her yukata-clad body.

Her frown deepened as she looked at the cloth. It wasn't hers - she didn't much care for white, for many reasons, and a plain white yukata wouldn't be her clothing of choice any time soon. Which meant someone else dressed her, and that someone was not Naruto. Whining about clothes or not, Naruto respected her choices well enough.

"Ah, you're awake milady!"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow at a servant girl by the door, an unfamiliar mon on her robes.

"Oh, master will be so pleased! Wait a moment, I shall get him immediately!" the young woman gushed, rushing out of the room.

Sasuke's eyebrow rose a tad higher.

A moment later the doors slid open loudly, a young man in expensive kimono entering with a radiant smile on is face.

"So you are awake at last, my beautiful flower!" he said with enthusiasm. "Finally! Nothing shall stand in the way of our happiness now!"

Second eyebrow joined the first.

"Excuse me," Sasuke asked politely, trying to place the man but coming up with nothing. "But what the hell are you talking about?"

The young man looked at her, his beaming smile becoming even wider.

"Why, about the happiest day of your life, my dark diamond! The day you no doubt awaited ever since our eyes met on that joyful day, just as I did!" he grabbed her hand. "The moment where you shall become my beautiful bride!"

Sasuke blinked owlishly.

"...ha?"

* * *

TBC...

* * *

AN: The story of Urashima Taro is an actual legend, and there are many versions of it. I just slightly adapted one of the more common ones. I guess you can see where the odd references to 'box' and such from the first part of the chapter come from now. I did say most things will be explained eventually, and they will, sooner or later. Also, crack or not, this story does have plot, so keep that in mind. Things that seem strange or out of place now will stop being such as the story unfolds. That said, it _is_ crack.


End file.

Naruto, Humor, Romance