Lord of the Rings Treebeard's Mistake

A/N: Dia duit! Ok, this story is kind of an AU, but I'm not exactly sure what it would be called. Maybe it's an AP…or and MRI…or an IOU…I don't know. Basically, it's Treebeard talking about his life in general, and then what happens when two unknown (cough, cough) creatures awake him one day in Fangorn. Enjoy! Oh ya, I was inspired to write this by Arwen Lune's Plotbunnies fic.  
  
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I barely get any rest anymore. With many of my kin gone, or becoming more tree-like, I have to do their tree herding for them. Why, just the other day, Shrubface told me to bring in his flock of Rowans, for he was tired, and needed rest. I, of course, being the kind Ent that I am, agreed, but not without much grumbling. Nag, nag, nag, all day long! It's all I hear anymore! Always, "Treebeard, herd my Oaks," "Fangorn, save the forest from evil," or some other kind of command like that. Can't an Ent get a decade's rest anymore? Ahh…if only Fimbrethil had not left me! She would always do some of my chores for me, and let me catch up on my soaps! I always used to love 'As Arda turns' and 'The Many, Many, Many, Many Days of Our Lives.' But then the ungrateful wench walked out on me! "It just isn't working out," she said, "you like trees, and I like flowers. Mother always said this marriage would never last." She took everything when she ran off, even my favorite Mahogany tree! Yes, he was a fine tree; all red bark and branches…oh, and she took the toaster, too. Anyway, back to my grievances.  
  
As I was saying, I can never get any good rest around here. So you can obviously understand my displeasure when two small, dark creatures came ambling along yesterday, drinking from my stream, and standing on my hill, crushing shrubs and grass without a care on this entire, hoom, place that we live in, with Ents, and Men, and water…what was it? Oh, yes, Earth. At first I was a bit puzzled. What creature had the nerve to come into Fangorn, the root of all of the legends, and disturb my, the Lord of the Forest's slumber? Then it dawned on me…  
  
Orcs!  
  
Who else but Orcs- burarum, the servants of Saruman! Oh, how I hate that traitor! He used to be a good kid, always polite, and he used to care about the trees. But now! Now, forget it! Who needs trees when you can have power! And then, then he had to send those abominable creatures to tear down all of those fine, old trees in Angrenost, Isengard, just for the fun of it! Bah! To the Hall of Mandos with him!  
  
Anyway, seeing more evil of Saruman's doing infuriated me! So I did the first thing that came to my mind. A bit hasty of me, now that I look back on it. These Orc-creatures were most silent themselves, but the slightest snapping of twigs and grass (those are nice plants they are so recklessly destroying!) let me know where they were. I stood, as silent as I could, on top of my rock shelf. It seems that all of those years of tree-like activity-that is, none at all-was finally going to work to my advantage. They walked closer and closer, whispering to each other. I couldn't make out what it was that they were saying, but it was probably some kind of nasty Orc-language, with talk of clearing all of the plant life out of the forest. Bah!  
  
Slowly, so they wouldn't notice me, I crept behind the taller of the two. I raised my fist, a cold fury burning in my Ent-eyes.  
  
"I felt I almost liked th-Merry! There's something behind you!  
  
I lowered my fist on to the top of its head. Its shaggy-hair covered head. That didn't seem right. Orcs don't have hair. Hoom, Saruman must have done more to them than I previously had thought.  
  
"Oooh. That smarts," said the creature, and with a dull thud, fell to the ground.  
  
"No! Look what you did to Merry, you…uh oh." The other creature ran frantically away from me.  
  
//Well, that's not very nice…// I thought. I stared at the little *thing* that was scampering in the opposite direction. Such a hasty species…  
  
No matter. It only took me four Ent strides to reach the being.  
  
"No! Please, Mr. Tree, sir! Spare me! I haven't had elevensies yet!" it whimpered.  
  
"Root and twig, you are an odd creature. Coming into my forest, disturbing my much-needed rest, and just being a, hrum, burarum. Yes, these things deserve punishment!" With that, I gave him a swift kick in the bum, and he sailed away.  
  
"Whaaaaaaa?….*splash* Into the river. Well, that took care of that.  
  
I was heading back to my rock shelf, so I could *finally* get some rest, when I noticed the other little thing lying on the floor, the one with the shaggy hair. Wait. Now that I think of it, the other one had the same kind of hair…and they really didn't sound much like Orcs.  
  
I bent over the body. It was so small…such a tiny creature. A bit *too* small to keep me feeling content. I took a better look at the thing. My suspicions were confirmed. Unless Saruman has a really twisted sense of humour, this was definitely *not* an Orc. It had hairy feet, it was very short, had curly locks, and was a little large around the middle. Not exactly traits you are looking for in the perfect fighting machine.  
  
Oh…that wasn't very smart of me…I'd say I was downright hasty. Fangorn, you may be losing your touch.  
  
I must be getting senile in my old age.  
  
  
  
A/N: It's over. No more.  
  
I'd say that was just downright insane! I tried really hard to keep events and names in canon, but I purposely altered Treebeard's personality, so please don't tell me about that in a review. (if I get any…) So…three cheers for me for actually sitting down and writing this! It took me like 2 months to gain the courage to just finish this story…which is more than I can say for my HP fic.  
  
Hwyl! Slan! Au revoir! Arrivaderchi! Adios! Bye! 


End file.

Lord of the Rings, Humor