Naruto 1. Stormy weather

**Bwahahahahahaha!!!! My first oneshot, and I like it, but unfortunately, what matter is if you like it….**

**So yeah, this is a Sasusaku fic, sorta, I just kinda thought it up on the spot.**

**I was like, "This would be really funny."**

**Well, I thought it would be.**

**I can take the flames, just be polite, I've never cursed anyone for having slightly bad grammer such as mine…..**

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Uchiha Sakura was very afraid of storms.

No amount of training, physical or mental, could ever shake her fear of lightning and thunder.

Her cocky husband's smirks when she snuggled against him at night, storm raging outside, did not make her feel safer at all.

This lead to paranoa, waking up in the middle of the night and shrieking for Sasuke, who had only left the room temporarily, refusing to leave the house when it was thundering outside, ending to the point where Sasuke would, despite her protests of "No, Sasuke-kun, you won't make me!! Not in hell!!", throw her over his shoulder and carry her out of their house with a smug look on his face. God how she hated that smug look whenever he got his damn way.

But her worst experience must have been when Sasuke was late coming home. _Very_ late. So late that she went to bed by herself, thunder and all. She had finally fallen asleep when she heard banging coming from the kichen.

She crept out of her bedroom, the noise didn't stop. "Sasuke-kun?". No answer. She starting trembling uncontrollably as thunder suddenly decided to drop by. "Sasuke?" Still no answer. "Uchiha??" Still no damn answer.

Tip-toeing down the hall, she strained her ears for the noise from before. It wasn't there. She stopped outside the kitchen and sneaked a peek inside.

The fridge was open, but no one was there, food was on the floor, and Sasuke's untouchable bowel of tomatoes sat on the counter. But no Sasuke, or anyone else. She silently walked in, picked up a nearby frying pan that she had left out that morning after doing the dishes and tentatively looked around.

No one.

She sighed and was about to put her weapon down when two obviously male arms circled her waist.

Sakura did the only thing that came to mind.

"AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAH, RAPIST!!!!!"

She shoved the person off and turned only to kick said intruder where the sun don't shine. He groaned and doubled over in pain. Sakura raised her valiant cooking pan and slammed it down onto the 'rapist's head. She isn't one to brag, but she can hit extremely hard, with or without weapon even if it happens to be a frying pan.

The intruder fell to the floor with a loud 'thud' and she fled from the room shrieking out her husband's name. She sat huddled in her bedroom for ten minutes before finally deciding to see who her intruder had been.

She slunk back into the kitchen. Finding that he was still on the floor writhing in pain, she picked back up the frying pan, which she had flung to the floor after her final blow. She turned on the light, and stared dumbstruck at the figure that was now sharing his very colorful vocabulary with her kitchen floor.

"Sasuke-kun?"

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**I've been thinking about making this a collection of oneshots dedicated to Sasuke and Sakura's relationship….**

**Hmmmm…..**

**Sasuke-kun, what do you think?**

**Sasuke: You used my name to many times.**

**I know, I like your name, even if it can be pronounced/spelled, saucegay, sasgay, SasUke.**

**Sasuke: Shut up, at least I'm not named after seafood.**

**Naruto: What's that supposed to mean??**

**Hee hee.**


	2. Finally Home

**Hee hee, I thought this was cute. And yes, this is going to be a collection of oneshots dedicated to Sasusaku.**

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"Are you sure he's coming?" The Godiame asked.

"Yes. He did send a letter, remind you." Sakura replied, wringing out her hands nervously. Next to her stood three other people, Uzumaki Naruto, the Godaime, Tsunade, and her sensei, Hatake Kakashi, sharingan warrior.

The blonde haired boy happily bounced on the balls of his feet as he peered out of the gates of Konoha. "Teme's coming back! Teme's coming back!" He sang.

And it was true, Uchiha Sasuke, official traitor of Konoha, was finally coming home from his escapade to live with the snake like pedophile. He had sent a letter of his return a week ago, telling the date that he would arrive on.

They had been waiting for at least an hour now.

"Let's head back, Sakura. I have work I need to do today." Tsunade said turning and beginning to walk away. The other three knowing that she just wanted to go enjoy another cup of sake or booze.

"But-" The pink haired girl protested.

"No. Let's be on our way now." The Godiame continued, cutting off her apprentice.

Just then, a shadowy figure appeared in the gate. The figure took a few more steps, and out of the shadows came the one and only, Uchiha Sasuke. Hands in his pockets, he stood as nonchalantly as if he had just went on a short walk.

All four of his welcome party fell silent. He slowly made his way to them. Naruto grinned broadly at him, Kakashi stared, his mask hiding his own smile, Tsunade looked at him skeptically, yet Sakura glared at him.

He stared back down at her, his ego refusing to allow him to show the surprise he was feeling on his face. He had expected a lot of smiles and tears from his former fan girl.

Feeling the tension rising, Naruto, Tsunade, and Kakashi looked down on the obviously angry kunoichi.

The girl's hands rose to his neck and gripped Sasuke's collar, she wrenched him down so his face was level with her own.

"Don't you_ ever _leave me on that damn park bench again," her hand rose.

_**SMACK!**_

An eerie silence followed. Haruno Sakura had just slapped Uchiha Sasuke across the face. Haruno Sakura did not slap, Haruno Sakura bit, kicked, and fought for dominance, but never in her life had Sakura slapped someone.

Sasuke was stunned, no one had ever **slapped** him before. The shock showed in his eyes as he watched tears start to well in her eyes. She raised both arms again, and he flinched, getting ready take whatever punishment she saw fit.

She hugged him.

"you stupid bastard."

**------------**

**This idea had been eating away at me for awhile. Isn't it cute?**

**Hee hee, sorry Sasuke-kun.**

**Sasuke: My cheek hurts.**

**Sorry, but you damn right deserved it!**


	3. Just a typical morning

**Heh heh. Third one-shot in one week!! I'm on a roll, am I not?**

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Peridot green eyes shot open.

It was early morning, but light enough to see her surroundings. At first she found nothing wrong. Bed, pillow, wall, nothing out of place. But then Sakura sniffed, her bed did not smell like this. She blinked, her wall was not navy blue. And she sure as hell did not sleep with arms wrapped tightly around her waist!

And as she, horrified as she was, tried to jump out of bed, the arm's grip tightened refusing to let her escape. She froze: The arm's owner had just groaned and brought her in closer. She was terrified, if the person was strong enough to resist her super human strength, then she had very thin chances of escaping.

"Go back to sleep, Sakura." A voice said. A very familiar voice.

"Sasuke-kun?" She was extremely happy when he answered with his signature, "Hn?"

Of course, she had forgotten again.

Just a week ago, she had moved in with her boyfriend, Uchiha Sasuke. And he had insisted that they share his bedroom. She had given in, mostly because Sasuke didn't speak up unless he really wanted something. She would admit, it was fun forcing the man to grudgingly get everything out of her apartment, and move it to the Uchiha district. But her favorite part had been when she had, unknown to Sasuke at the time, climbed onto the couch his was carrying on his back across town. To her it had been hysterical. Sasuke, not so much.

"I want to get up, let go." She announced, she was kind of hungry. She tried to wiggle out of his grasp, but to no avail.

"No."

"W-Why not?"

"Go to sleep."

"Stupid Uchiha."

"Hn."

He pulled her up against him and promptly stuck his nose in her hair.

She struggled against him, but it was futile. Either Sasuke got up, or she was stuck in bed. She muttered something about burning him alive, then destroying his remains and blaming it on rogue ninja. He continued to keep her captive, refusing to let her escape his grasp. He ignored her loud protests and occasionally told her to shut up and go back to sleep. It had gone on for about an hour when she fell silent. He was sure she had tired herself out and with a few more whines, she was silent again.

"Sasuke-kun... You're such a stubborn jackass!"

She was sure that he was smirking into her hair.

"But I love you."

"I know."

"Asshole! Get off me!"

"Hn."

"That is not a damn word, you bastard!!!"

"_Hn_."

He said the word smugly and continued to reap the rewards of being the more dominant person in their relationship. Sakura had to admit, he did wear the pants. When she wasn't pissed at him.

And now Sakura had just entered the mode that sent her sensei and teammate spiraling into fear. Her If-I-don't-get-my-way-you-are-going-to-wake-up-breathing-through-a-tube mode. Now Sasuke was naturally not _afraid_ of her when she entered this state. He just avoided being around her for a short while.

"Get. Off. Uchiha."

He did not oblige, she couldn't do anything to him if he had her captive could she? And he did not want to take any chances.

Some how, his blast of sudden thoughts of how to keep her under control loosened his grip and she managed to pry herself away. And after letting out a triumphant cackle, skipped out of the room.

He glared at the door. Stubborn girl, he had told her no. But of course she had to get all freewilled on him again. He sighed, why was it always the hard way?

Meanwhile in the kitchen, the pink haired girl hummed happily to herself as she leaned over her to look at a lower shelf in the fridge, she cautiously avoided Sasuke's tomatoes. The last time she had picked one up, Sasuke had glared at her, taken it out of her hand, shoved the whole thing into her mouth, then slammed her against the wall to make out excessively. She couldn't say she enjoyed nearly being choked to death by the evil red vegetable and the Uchiha. But apparently, her holding his favorite food had turned him on.

She backed out of the refridgerator and into something hard. She turned around to find Sasuke's bare chest, him being dressed in his simple sleepwear of boxers. She looked up to his face, only to find a spinning sharingan. She scowled as she began to lose conciousness.

"Damn you." She whispered before flopping into him, the food she was carrying fell to the ground with a splat.

The sharingan vanished and he thankfully carried her back to bed, covered her up, and then once again stuck his nose into her hair. He smirked, he had gotten used to having her next to him at night, and now found that he had trouble sleeping without her. He wasn't surprised that he had gotten his way because as usual...

What Uchiha wants. Uchiha _always_ gets.


	4. Uchiha Fans

**MUAHAHAHAHA!!! No, I didn't die, I swear! But I was in the hospital for a few weeks. I broke a leg, an elbow, sprained my other ankle, and dislocated my shoulder. AND I GOT MY TONSILS REMOVED! I mean seriously, I'm in the hospital, writhing in pain in bed, and out of the blue their like, "Let's take out her tonsils." I punched a nurse, and passed out because it hurt to move my arm. And when I woke up, my throat hurt, the nurse had a black eye and was glaring at me, and I was delirious from an overdose of pain medication! But if you want to know where I got my injuries from, read my letter at the bottom of this One-shot.**

The Haruno clan symbol: It had to go.

Sasuke was more then tired of having to beat the shit out of every guy that gave a second glance at _his _girlfriend. In fact, once when he and Sakura were walking down the street, a guy just decided to pull the rosette away from Sasuke. Of course the guy was drunk, but still, you _never_ want to anger an Uchiha. And let's just say that that particular guy was out cold for a week.

Sakura, however, was very peeved when he demanded she start wearing the almighty Uchiha symbol. She had gone on a rampage and had kicked him in a place where no men like to be kicked. Repeatedly. Screeching that she couldn't be branded like some animal. She then refused to talk to him for the rest of the day.

And when she did decide to talk to him, it was to demand that he repent himself for his wrongdoing. Which he blatantly refused in doing so. Only leading to another cold shoulder.

It had just been yesterday that she had forgiven him. He smirked and sipped his coffee, she was going to be angry for a very long time at this rate, he gave a sadistic grin at a large smoldering pile of cloth that was in that Uchiha manor. He had recently replaced all of Sakura's clothing with something more his taste. And had just disposed of the liabilities in his plot. AKA: Sakura's old clothing.

"Ohayo Sasuke-kun." Said rosette greeted him, still in her bathrobe. He muttered a good morning and she walked back upstairs with her own coffee, saying something about getting dressed. He grimaced, and plugged his ears, and sure enough, was rewarded for his forward planning.

"_UCHIHA!!!!"_

**OMIGOSH, YOU ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO ME! Okay, this is actually pretty funny. I was walking upstairs and I tripped, did a summersault down the stairs and was fine. A few minutes later, I tripped on a rug in the hallway and flew down the stairs again. I had a really bad day. But Sasuke-kun is here to make it better.**

**Sasuke: I wish you had stayed in the hospital.**

**Fuck you.**

**Sasuke: Sadistic rabid fan girl…**

**Damn straight! And you are the object of my affections. Thanks for noticing.**

**Sasuke: Yeah, yeah, Usagi doesn't own Naruto and crap, if she did, Gaara would live in her closet (Like I currently do.) Naruto would be her best friend and I would have asked Sakura to marry me. **

**You forgot something.**

**Sasuke: And Sakura would be a… Kick ass…Ninja…**

**Yeah Kishimoto-sama! You made all female ninja look weak and ignorant at the beginning of the series! Sakura did nothing! If I was a ninja, I would just own everyone! I mean jeez, give us girls a break. I know you're a guy, and all but girls can do and **_**have done **_**everything boys can do. Besides be president. Damn it all! Vote for Hillary! Two thumbs up for a more feminine, nation. Most of the people in this country are female anyway! Its just the men have more power, just because they are all sexy and… LIKE SASUKE-KUN! Except for George Bush. I don't really like him much; he put us back in war.**

**Sasuke: Usagi, how many pixie sticks did you have today?**

**None.**

**Sasuke: What have you eaten today?**

**Pain medication and Italian ice! **

**Sasuke: Damn those doctors and their pain medication.**

**Buh bye now, I have to go glomp Gaara at Nicole's house while she's asleep.**


	5. Hair

"What really happened to your hair?" Came Sasuke's completely out of the blue question.

"Excuse me?" Sakura replied taken aback. He gestured towards her pink locks then at Naruto, who was busy gathering firewood for the fire.

"You cut your hair. You told Naruto you just thought it was time for a change. What really happened." It wasn't a question but a statement.

She blushed. "Nothing happened, I just thought it would get in the way."

"You're a bad liar, Sakura."

"Ano… It's just… It's nothing."

"Tell me." He turned to face her. His obsidian eyes glared down into hers. She flinched.

"The sound ninja… They came while you were unconscious… They wanted to fight you. I said no. Lee came. He defended me…."

A tear came streaking down her cheek.

"But they.. they.. defeated him easily… They were going to kill you… The girl grabbed my hair… I- I- cut it off to get away."

She hung her head in shame of ever committing such a desperate act.

"I tried to fight them… I was too weak… Then you woke up, and beat them all easily. Just like always." She finished bitterly.

Sasuke's face had not changed the entire time. He remained stoic as his hand slowly came up to grip her shoulder. She was pulled into an embrace. The first and only one Sasuke had ever given since his family's murder.

"Arigatou. Sakura. You are not weak, remember that."


End file.

Naruto, Humor, Romance