Sailor Moon 1. default chapter

The Governance of Love

Angst

PG – 13

Ao_tenshi (ao_tenshi27@hotmail.com)

Author's notes: 

This is my first fic to ever write. Guess I am simply inspired by

my own experience. I've always wanted to express my feelings

but I usually end up daydreaming about them (got to do that all

the time *snickers*). 

The fic is quite personal, but I would appreciate it if you read it.

I just hope you understand it *laughs* because a friend of mine 

once said that I'm the weirdest person she ever knew! Haha! ; )

Well, just you know, I don't own any of the characters I used

here. 

Ta ta!

--------- =)

It's a rainy day again. Bad weather to be on track, yet I'm still 

here. Hai, on the track, racing again. This time, against the wind 

and water drenching my car. Slippery, it is, but it doesn't matter. 

I am the wind. . . and the . . no. I'm not the sea. And this stupid 

weather makes me think that I'm with the ocean! Baka! Haruka 

mumbled to herself, flying past the finish line that was meant to be 

her destination. It's been almost three months when Michiru moved 

out. All the girls knew, but couldn't identify the reason. They were all 

worried, of course, but as much as they know Haruka, they couldn't 

help. No, the young racer just simply want to be left alone. She 

needs to help...

"Haruka-san!" the voice was loud enough to penetrate the thoughts 

in the racer's mind.

Not knowing where the voice came from, she looked around a bit and 

found the source. Two girls, wearing the same uniform and having the 

same blonde hair, only different styles, was standing at the entrance of 

the garage. "Hai." She managed to say as she strolled walked through 

the forming mud. It's been raining the past few days that makes it hard 

for practice.

"Haruka-san, let's go! You promised to go with us today to Crown," 

Minako said clinging her arm on Haruka's. Immediately, the other arm 

of the racer was caught by Usagi.

"Sokka! I forgot!" Haruka said, painting a surprised look on her face as 

she saw Minako's reaction. "Don't worry, we're still going there." She said 

smiling at the two. "But can I have your permission to excuse myself and 

change? You wouldn't want to be seen with someone who looks caught 

by the rain!" 

"Okkei," Minako slightly blushed and loosened her grip on the racer's arm. 

Haruka looked as Usagi with pleading eyes and said likewise. Usagi just 

let go and looked back at Haruka askingly. The tall blonde racer didn't 

notice her expression and went ahead to the lockers. 

"I'll be back soon," Haruka said before closing the door behind her and 

entered the shower. Breathing heavily, she leaned against the wall thinking. 

Water trickled from the shower to her hair, flattening them against her face 

as tears slowly forms in her eyes without her noticing it. Minutes passed and 

she's still in that position. Savoring the water that pours down on her. 

Water that played a big part of her. Water that helped her through all the 

though times. Michiru. . .

The two girls looked around in the full of cars. Usagi was amazed on the 

sports cars that were placed before her eyes. 

"Minako-chan, let's look at the cars! Maybe we could sit in there for a 

while. Or we could..." 

"Usagi-chan, we came here to fetch Haruka. And not for those cars," 

Minako looked at them sadly. She knew that Haruka was very fond of cars 

especially her convertible. The senshi of the wind would never allow 

anybody near it, or touch it except Michiru. 

"But. . . I only want to look at it. Please?" Usagi pleaded.

"Okkei, but let's wait for Haruka-san first." Minako smiled at Usagi who 

soon stood up and went over the door. Suddenly, it opened. Haruka was 

already stepping outside when she saw Usagi who's about to knock at that 

time.

"Gomen nasai for keeping you waiting." Haruka bowed at the surprised Usagi 

a few inches before the door. 

"Huh?" Usagi managed to answer.

"It's all right, Haruka-san." Minako said and walked toward her friend. 

Usagi fell out of the trance she was and giggled.

"Then let's go." The tall racer walked toward the cars. 

"Haruka-san, could we just look at the cars over there? Minako-chan 

wouldn't let me see them before. She said to wait for you. So, could I?" 

"Of course, you can. Just be careful, my kitten." With that, Usagi ran her 

way to the cars and awed every one of them Minako followed Usagi to 

admire the racing cars that were parked. . Haruka just looked at them as 

she sat behind the driver's wheel of her yellow convertible. Her gaze was 

toward them, yet she couldn't see them. She just sat there with empty eyes 

until the two went to her.

"Haruka-san?"

She knew the voice well but didn't turn.

"Hello, Haruka-san!" Usagi blurted out and Haruka was back again on 

their world. 

"Ready to go?" Haruka said with a weak smile. Usagi and Minako looked 

at her worriedly but didn't dare to ask. They went on the other side of the 

car and sat at the back. They were soon on the road toward the centre. 

Passing every turn with an ease, Haruka drove as she was still on the track. 

Traffic soon faced them, but with Haruka on the driver's seat, they went 

through it swiftly. At the last stop light before the Crown Game Center, 

Usagi noticed somebody standing on the sidewalk. 

"Minako-chan, look. There's Michiru-san! Michiru-san!" Usagi called the aqua 

haired girl standing in front of a café talking with a guy. Michiru looked at 

them and smiled. Haruka looked at her for some time and stared back at the 

road.

"Usagi-chan!" Minako looked sternly at Usagi then glanced over to Haruka. 

"Nani?" 

"Usagi-chan, you baka!" Minako wanted to slap Usagi but held herself. She 

then quietly said, "Hush, be careful. Remember that Haruka-san is with us." 

And she looked at Haruka who was griping the steering wheel hard. 

"Gomen nasai, Haruka-san." Usagi looked down, but as the go signal was 

lighted, Usagi smiled back at Michiru and waved bye. The other girl just 

nodded. And the car went away. Faster than before.

*****

Haruka parked the car and went out. 'It was surely nice to see her again, 

even if she's with... whoever he is... I just hope she'll be happier now...' 

A slight smile could be formed but it was suppressed by her own feelings. 

It just hurts. The pain even increased and she knows it though she tries to 

hide it. Sighing, she strode over to the girls who were waiting for her at the 

entrance. Rei, Ami and Makoto were already there when they arrived. 

Minako told her that they'll be waiting for them there, so it wasn't a surprise to her.

"Hello, Haruka-san!" Rei, Ami and Makoto chorused as they saw 

Haruka approaching. Minako bolted out, grabbed the blonde's arm, led 

them in and toward the game she wanted to play. Usagi and Rei went 

over to another one and started arguing. Ami was reaching into her bag 

when Makoto spied at her and gave her a stern look. 

"All right, I'm not going to read. It's too dark in here anyway," Makoto just 

laughed at her friend's surrender then tagged her along to watch Usagi and 

Rei. After a few moments, they heard Minako's voice over the noises that 

were created around them. 

"Iya! You beat me again! Haruka-san, when could I ever beat you?" Minako 

was saying loudly over the seats that they were seating.

"Not until you've learned!" Haruka winked and laughed as Minako frowned. 

"Don't worry, there'll be a time when you'll beat me."

Minako smiled again and took her controls. Haruka watched her for a moment

 forgetting that they have a game running. Minako was on the lead, but Haruka, 

regaining her consciousness of the situation she was in, regained her first 

position and beat Minako to the finish lane.

"That was nice. You almost beat me." Haruka smiled at Minako as she 

shook her hand. 

"I'll beat you the next time around!" Minako declared pointing at Haruka then 

to the game.

"I'll be waiting for that time, my dear Minako-chan." Haruka said calmly and 

looked for the other girls. Minako found them and went ahead of her. When 

Haruka reached the game, Usagi and Rei was arguing about the controls that they 

only have little lives left. The game was suddenly over and Usagi-chan looked 

up at the four girls standing around them with a dismayed look. And they all 

laughed.

****

The afternoon went by so fast at the game center. It was almost 5 o'clock 

when they decided to leave the game center. 

"I'm hungry. Those games starved me out!" Usagi complained.

"You're always hungry, Usagi-chan. No one ever doubts it." Rei said to 

Usagi. The two started fighting again about food even if it's not in front 

of them. The other girls just looked at them shaking their heads, all 

three except the tallest one. Haruka's mind was drifting away again. 

None of the others noticed.

'I wonder who's that guy Michi-chan... Michiru was with. I don't even 

remember her introducing me to him or even mentioning about him. Oh, 

well... maybe. . .  she just forgot it. . . but I'd surely like to kick that man's 

ass!' Haruka's thoughts were running wild in her head. All those thoughts 

were giving her a head ache. 

"Haruka-san. We're going now. Usagi wants to get home right now. She 

has no money left for food. Arigatou for the game!" Minako said and smiled 

at her.

For a while, Haruka just looked at her, speechless, then managed to 

speak. "Do-itashimashite, Minako-san. It's been really fun spending the 

afternoon with you guys. Arigatou! Take care! Ja ne!" Haruka bowed and 

watched them go. 

****

"What's wrong, Minako-san?" Usagi asked her friend who was usually 

chattering, but now was suddenly quiet.

"Uh, nothing. I was just thinking... Uh.. Well, did you see Haruka-san's face? 

She seems sooo sad, ya know," was the reply. There was a sheet of silence 

that covered them for a while, each with her thoughts. All thinking of how 

Haruka was during the day. They all seemed pretty sure that the tall blonde 

enjoyed their stay at Crown's Game Center, but no one noticed the empty 

dark green eyes which the smiling car racer owned during that time. 

Usagi muttered a short 'uh huh' and then focused on her food. Rei was 

painstakingly looking at her, silently criticizing the odango's movements 

before slapping her lightly on the nape. 

"Ouch! What? Look what you did, Rei! Now, my food is spilled!" Usagi 

went on her knees and started sobbing. 

"Why are you eating when there's something important to talk about?

Don't you care about Haruka-san?" Rei questioned her, staring deep 

into the 'princess's' blue eyes. 

"I do care about her. You know that Rei-chan. I. . .  I care about all 

of you. But, right now, my stomach hurts!" 

"You're always thinking about food. I wonder how did you 

become 'our princess'.."

"Rei! Usagi-chan will always be our princess no matter what happens. 

We're sworn to protect her, remember?" Ami interrupted the soon-

to-be on-going fight between the two. 

"Gomen, Ami-chan. . . Gomen, Usagi-chan." Was the forward reply 

from the priestess.

"It's okkei, Rei. Just buy me some food!" Usagi said, with a 

smiling beam on her face. Rei took a deep sigh then went to 

order another food for Usagi. 

". . . What can we do?" Minako whispered in a low voice. 

The love senshi is very unusually concerned about what's happening, 

they can tell. 

"Let's just see. . ." Ami once more emerged from her thoughts and 

spoke cautiously with the girls once Rei returned with Usagi's food, 

who in turn, ate it in an amazing speed.

"You know, you could enter the race if you want to. I'm sure you'll 

beat Haruka-san. . . In eating!" Rei teased Usagi. Another fight seems 

to be broadening but Makoto stopped it once and for all.

"Okay, Let's get into business!"

****

In the kitchen table of a cold apartment lie heaps of vegetables and 

other foods. A person is plainly making supper enough for one person. 

Slowly, but gracefully.

'Why am I doing this? I don't even want to eat. . .' the girl thought to 

herself while cutting the vegetables in pieces that would fit a salad. 

'I wonder how she is doing. . . Was it coincidence that we saw each 

other today? For the last. . . six months. . . I think, that we haven't seen 

each other. She still looks strong though. Nothing changed. Only. . .' 

'Ouch! Shit!' Absentmindedly, she has cut into her index finger and 

immediately cleaned it. 'I should be careful. The concert is just days 

away. I don't want to depress the organizations because I can't play 

because of this stupid finger! . . . . Concert. . . Haruka. . . would you be 

there?'

-------

This is supposedly a one-shot fic. So, there won't be any chapters, really. Nevertheless, I'll just keep the chapters (continuations) coming until it is finished. I wouldn't have posted this until the fic is finished, but… well… ^-^

I wanted to know your reactions about this. 


	2. default chapter

****

A yellow convertible with its' top up was parked along the road near 

the shoreline. The engine is off and only the whispers of the wind can 

be heard and it brushes itself against the land. And the sea. A figure is 

standing beside the rocks. Leaning against the biggest of them. Letting the 

wind play with her short hair. She doesn't mind though. She's the wind, 

she had always known that. Her eyes play between the sand, sea and the 

horizon, where the sky and sea meets. Silent words are spoken through 

her eyes. Her empty eyes. Gazing toward the dark sky, covered with 

clouds, she murmured wishes, hoping that they'll come true. And fill the 

space in her heart again. Bring back life to her.

The wind is blowing much stronger now as she started to walk slowly 

right where the waves touch the sand. In her thoughts, it was a bright 

day. No storm, no mission, no destruction. They don't mind those things 

when the day is beautiful. They all had their fun, especially them. Everything 

that they do together was fun indeed. And in a way, satisfying. Now, all 

she could do is to remember. For there is none. It's not going to be like 

the way it was before. .  . before the other left. . . before she screwed up. . . 

Sitting down on the wet sand, she placed her head between her knees 

and stared. Looking at everything around her, but seeing nothing. Only 

the darkness. As tears start to form in her dark teal eyes. . .

'. . . Seeing her today. . . she still looks beautiful. The way she dressed. 

It still looked perfect. She seems to be getting on with her life now. Not 

like me. . . How could I? She's still my life but she's. . . not here. . . Never 

again going to be here. . . Michiru!' The wall she's maintaining collapsed 

and tears started to flow continuously, wetting her shirt more than ever. 

The sea breeze was bringing in another rain, she can feel that. But nothing 

could seem to make her stand up from where she sat. "Michiru!!!" was 

her heart cry. Nobody heard the desperate feelings of the racer. . . nobody 

except the wind and the sea.

'Shimatta! You never cared if I'm dead worried about you, Haruka! You 

didn't even bother to call! What's the use of your phone if you never use it! 

Damn! I'm fucking tired of staying up all night, thinking of all the possibilities 

that might happen to you. . . Goddamn, Haruka. . .You're always into your 

race career! What about us?! Or you don't mind at all as long as I'm here. 

As long as I'm here at this stupid apartment! Fine! Don't speak! You never 

do! You never cared, anyway!' 

'Michiru?'

'I'm leaving, Haruka. . . It's for the best. I can't take this anymore..'

'MICHIRU!.... don't...'

Rain was pouring heavily as her tears. She was now drenched with water. 

She knew that she should be at the track the next day but doesn't want 

to leave the solitary place. Time passed. Cars passing along didn't care 

at all about the empty lone car near the beach. No one did. No one did 

seem to care when the car disappeared just before the cracking of dawn. 

Toward the busying city streets.

****

"It's raining again?!" Minako startled the group. They agreed to meet at 

the parlor shop that afternoon. And the rain came in from time to time 

since last night. 

"What do you think?" Makoto said, looking outside the window just to 

see the cars and the people hurrying by.

"Nani?"

"You know, there'll be a concert tomorrow. I think Michiru-san will play 

there."

"Isn't that on Saturday, Mako-san?" Usagi looked up and saw the smirk 

on Rei's face. "Nani?"

"Tomorrow's Saturday, baka!" Rei laughed at Usagi. 

"Oh, I forgot!" Usagi said making a face. 

"So we'll all go." Minako silently said. 

"Hai. But what about the tickets?" Ami asked.

"Yeah. Let's go check. If there's no ticket available, maybe we could 

ask Michiru-san for some." Usagi suggested.

"Hope she gives us tickets," Minako said still looking down.

"Ara, Minako-san. Don't worry. We'll find a way to bring those two 

back together. I know it's your duty as the love senshi, but we're all 

friends. Don't worry too much. We're on this together." Makoto gave a

 pleading smile that made the blonde laugh. 

"I'm sure it will! With me on working on the background!" The change 

of mood shifted the atmosphere into a lively one as they searched here

and there for the last remaining tickets for the charity concert.

****

"Come on, Tenoh-san. It'll be great! Besides, it's for charity." Someone 

in work clothes was speaking to Haruka. Blue hair was tied up in a 

pony tail. One hand resting on the car next to her and the other holding 

a dirty rag that looked like submerged into oil. 

"Gomen, Yuki. But. . ." the racer tried to protest. 

"Please. . . ? You'll have a great time, I promise. You need to relax, 

you know. I think you've been bothered by problems nowadays. 

Please, Tenoh-san?"

"Hey, Tenoh-san! Give the girl a chance!" One of the track racers 

said as he passed by. Haruka gave him a cold gaze.

"Yuki. . ." Haruka started. ' hmmm… concert… charity… it sure 

do sound like Michiru…

"Nani?" 

"Uh, nothing. Okay, I'll go. But nothing personal, remember!"

"That's fine. I already have tickets so don't you bother searching 

for them anymore. The concert's tomorrow at seven in the evening. 

Theater, so I guess it's formal. I'll just meet you outside,okay? I'll 

be going. I've got to check the other cars, you know."

"I'll be there," Haruka said watching the girl look at one car after 

another. 'She's cute. . . Haruka! Stop this! Why? Don't get too 

much related. Don't break your wall again. You'll get hurt. You 

know that. Yeah, I know that. I'm just musing. . .' 

****

"Here we are. Gomen, Tenoh-san. But these are the only nice 

seats that I could get." Yuki said to the tall blonde who's right behind 

her. They have met outside the theater only minutes before the show 

starts. The one with blue hair had on a nice black evening gown that 

was from by draping. Simple, really. But elegant enough. The racer, 

on the other hand, wore the usual black tuxedo she had worn for several 

times during times when she watches the sea-green haired woman 

play. Together, they look a lovely couple. Well, for most of the audience

that is. The guards recognized Haruka on their way inside and made a 

lopsided smile when they noticed that she's not alone, the way they are 

accustomed seeing her on her way to Michiru. Haruka noticed them 

but didn't turn a glare and just continued following the mechanic to 

their seats.

"It's okay, Yuki. I like it, really," was all she could answer. Without 

looking straight at the stage, Haruka sat back, almost slouching in her 

seat. Yuki noticed this and tried to straighten up the racer, but she was 

stubborn, as always. Ignoring her companion, Haruka's gaze was fixed 

on the side of the stage where she could clearly see a black grand piano. 

Vacant. The concert started and all that filled the air was the soft music 

from the violin. Haruka closed her eyes and began to settle deeper into 

her seat, trying to evade the world where she had been, together with her. 

"They should have had someone play the piano in harmony with the 

violin. . ." Haruka said startling Yuki when she broke the silence. A hand

 came down to rest on her own, pressing slightly on her skin. 

"Maybe they couldn't find another who could play in such melody with 

her. She plays so beautifully, you know. I can feel her emotions. It seems 

the music draws me to her world of peace and serenity."

'Hai. That's what she always do. Creep into her own world. Leaving me 

alone. . . Over and over again. But I didn't bother. As long as she always 

comes back.' Thoughts suddenly streamed into her mind, forcing her to 

leave. Yuki was astonished to see her go without even saying anything. 

But the young mechanic sensed something, something wrong. So she 

decided to follow and found Haruka leaning on the walls outside the theater. 

Her hands buried in her pockets. Her eyes staring forward but seeing nothing. 

Just the darkness of the night outside. 

"What's wrong Tenoh-san?" A voice, a soft warm voice called over her. 

That voice reminded her of Michiru, even the night reminded her of her lover. 

Her former lover. She felt a hand reaching for her shoulder and winced when 

she felt the coldness of those hands. The cold, brought her back to reality. 

"Nothing, Yuki. I just wanted to have fresh air. It's getting stuffed in there." 

She lied. Of course, she lied. She couldn't tell the other woman who the artist 

was. And why she really wanted to go out. To escape the pain that everything 

in there brings. 

The other woman felt satisfied and leaned also at the wall behind Haruka. 

She sighed. "The music in there is really enchanting. I wish I could hear more 

of those. It's refreshing to hear them."

"Would you like to go inside? Maybe we could retrieve our seats." Haruka 

finally said after a long moment of silence. Yuki nodded. Taking the mechanic 

by the arm, they walked back into the theater and noticed that the concert 

was nearing its' finale. "I didn't notice that it would be over so soon. Gomen, 

Yuki. You missed most of the part because of me."

"Don't worry. I'm sure they'll have another concert. I just can't wait to be 

there again." Yuki smiled and took her seat once more. This time, Haruka 

was sitting up straight, though her eyes were clearly not focused on anything. 

"That was nice. Thanks, Tenoh-san, for accompanying me here. I really 

had a great time." The concert was finally over and two shadows were 

walking down the sidewalk towards the parking. 

"Well, I'm glad you enjoyed it. You bought the tickets anyway!" Haruka 

said with a grin, though her eyes were not completely looking at her surroundings. 

"Arigatou, Nako-san. It's been a pleasure being with you tonight."

"Do-itashimashite, Tenoh-san. . ." The shorter girl looked up at the stars 

wishfully. "I wish it's always like this. . ."

"Nani?"

"Nothing, Tenoh-san. I just wished every night would be this happy, 

this relaxing." 

"Oro.."

"You look cute when you look confused!"

"Hey, I'm not confused!"

"Well, it sure do look like."

"I'm just tired." I guess.

"So, get some rest. I'll see you on the track on Monday! Ja ne!" 

****

'...is that really Haruka? I thought... baka! I wished she would come 

and then, when she did, I don't want to believe it! . . . but, who was that 

she's with? Surely, she doesn't look like one of the race team. Haruka is 

the only girl racer, as far as I know.'

"Michiru-san?" 

"Hai?" was the reply from behind the door of the dressing room. 

"It's Minako. Can we come in?"

"The door's open." Slowly, the door opened and in entered five girls, all 

matured-looking in their outfits. They looked around at the amazement of the 

dressing room, its color, its spaciousness. After a minute of wonder, all eyes 

focused on the person sitting on the chair facing the wide mirror, with her 

hands clutching her violin case that lies in front of her. 

"Are you okay, Michiru-san? You look tired." Usagi was the first to speak 

up when she approached the girl. 

"Usagi-chan, I think she needs to be alone." Rei looked over her friends' 

shoulder and nodded to Usagi who already wears her sympathetic look. 

"Come, Usagi-chan. Let's go." Makoto said arriving at the door, tempting 

to open it.

". . . Don't go. It's okay that you're here. . I'm fine." All five girls looked at 

each other once hearing the melancholic voice of the violin player. Their 

glances finally concluded that they should stay. And after a minute or two, 

the room was filled with indefinable laughter. 

"You really did play great, Michiru-san! I love the last piece." Usagi went 

on and on talking. No one can seem to stop her that Michiru could only 

hold back her laughter. 

"Arigatou, all of you, for coming. I didn't expect that you'd all be here! 

Well, except for Himme-chan and Setsuna. They're out of town, but promised

to make it to the last of the series." Michuru ended with a sigh.

"You mean, Haruka was here?!" All eyes turned toward Minako who was 

trying to control her excitement.

"Hai. . . I did see her."

"Great! So did you two talk?" 

"Eh..."

"Minako-san. . ." Makoto interrupted and fired an icy glare to Minako, 

who understood and quited down. Silence was once again in throne. But 

this time, the sea senshi is not alone... but with her friends.

"Gomen, Michiru-san..." Minako finally said. 

"It's okay. I really wished I could talk to her. But I didn't have the chance 

to. She's already gone when I left the stage." Michiru lowered her head 

so no one could see the tears forming in her eyes, though that is not 

needed, because it is already dark in the room. Once again, the five inner 

senshi casted a sad look on their friend, whose sobs can now be heard. 

Looking in such a despair they didn't know what to do.

"Hush, Michiru-san... It's gonna be alright... Everything's gonna be 

alright. We're here. We'll help you... Wouldn't we, guys?" Rei said, 

hugging the crying one. Giving the comfort she know she could give, if 

only for that time, knowing that they couldn't do anything, yet still giving 

their friend their word. Knowing that Haruka was the only one who could 

mend all the wounds that Michiru feels now and carries everyday.

****

ah, well… I actually have done a huge part of the story. Almost to the middle.

Hehe! I'm just cutting it into pieces so you won't experience any errors when reading them (they said the file shouldn't be over 300 kb). 


	3. default chapter

****

The wind is billowing hard on the waters. Nobody is there, nobody 

around to watch over a car parked on the road. To watch a shadow 

carefully seated amidst the rocks, the waters and the sand. Nobody 

came to the beach that day because of the predicted storminess of the 

weather. Most were sure that a hard whip of the wind against the sea 

would cause severe loss. But, obviously, not for the owner of the shadow.

A white rose could be made out in the darkness, thrown out in the sand, 

cut to fit the hole in a man's tux. The white rose, stained with red spots...

Rain was beginning to pour down. The top of the car was up, but the 

owner really doesn't seem to care if he gets wet or not. The headlights 

of the car were turned down to as not to attract much attention, only to

provide a small amount of light to the darkened beach. As the rain beats 

faster and harder, the shadow stood up and took small steps. 

Not toward the car. Not toward the sea. But along the shoreline. 

Feeling the mixture of water and sand at his feet. Fists were clenched tightly, 

but he couldn't bring it down. It was looks like stuck like that forever. 

Stuck by some indefinite force of hate or anger. Or because of love?

The weather is coming down hard. Hard against the world. The figure, 

slowly sank down in his its knees, right before a wave crashed in on the shore. 

The body of water crashed on the figure and the body surrendered. 

The storm lasted the whole night. Just before dawn, it stopped. On the 

beach, there lay on the sand a body. Moving very slightly. Apparently not 

wanting to rise and face the rising sun. Wishing to curse the wave for not 

making a wish come true. As much as the figure wanted, he knew in the 

back on his mind that he couldn't stay there. An hour or so, people will 

be passing by the seaside again and he shouldn't be seen there. It took all

his determination to stand up and go to the car. Start the engine and leave 

the place. Though he knew that sooner or later he will return and finish what she started. 

****

Ding! Dong!

"Just a minute," Michiru said leaving her stack of things laying across the 

living room she was packing for storage. "Ara, it's you Kedono-san. What 

brings you here?" She said to the tall, dark-haired guy in blue long-sleeved 

polo shirt and khaki pants who was leaning against the pole of her porch, 

holding flowers, mostly tulips, with one hand while the other is in his pockets, 

facing the road. 

"Good morning, Kaioh-san," he said turning around with a smile. "Here, 

these are for you." Handling Michiru the flowers. 

"Arigato, but what are these for?"

"Well, aren't you going to take the flowers first?"

"Gomen. Please come in, Kedono-san."

"As much as I'd like to, Kaioh-san. I can't. I just dropped by to congratulate

you for a great performance last night. You really are an artist. Gomen that I 

didn't make it on time for your performance. But my daughter was there and 

she liked it, too. So, as a fan and friend, rather than a sponsor of the concert, 

I wish you all the blessings. Congratulations again, Kaioh-san." Kedono shook 

hands and bowed as he was leaving the front steps. Retiring to his car, he 

waved to Michiru. Then, drove off.

"Arigato, Kedono-san. But it wasn't a real performance. I didn't feel anything 

for that silly piece. Well, if you think it's great, then, let it be... oh, well."  

Michiru closed the door behind her, and thought of the vase that was lying 

on the floor, one of those to be stuck in the closet for years. Her mind 

decided already and she arranged the flowers. "This would do." 

****

"Where the hell is Tenoh-san?!" Ken shouted at the crew working before 

him. He was the manager of Haruka's team and the blonde racer didn't 

usually miss two sessions of practice racing in purpose. It was already 

Wednesday and nobody has seen the famous racer, even her shadow. 

"This is Tenoh's residence. I'm not here right now to pick up the phone. 

If you'd like to leave a message, please do so after the beep. Arigato." That

damned canned message again! Where is Haruka? "Sir Ken, she's not home. 

The answering machine keeps going on whenever I call."

"Fine. Then let's get started even if she's not here. I don't want to spoil this 

day. Okay, team, Let's get on the track!" It was the first time in the week 

that the sun is really up. The past two days they went on with practice 

was cloudy but it didn't rain. Still, the ground is a little wet because of the 

little showers they have before dawn. 

"I wonder what happened to Haruka... I hope she's fine." Yuki sighed 

and went to Haruka's car waiting in the garage for its owner. 

"Hey, Yuki!" 

"What the... Kenjii, don't startle me like that!" She winced at the sight 

of another mechanic walking toward her. Small for his age, but good in 

cars. Having a good, brown colored hair and even skin tone. Wearing 

again a smirk on his face. 

"You seem off to the clouds, Yuki,"

"It's none of your business!"

"Okay, okay! You've made your point clear... But remember, I'll be here" 

Kenjii went to the other side of the track to check on the cars' condition 

as they pass through the curve.

"That dumb ass!" Yuki made her way to a seat near the wall of the garage.

Resting her head on her hand, she began to slip off reality again. 

"Minako-chan, do you think we'll find her here?" Usagi asked the other girl who's 

humming. 

"Mmhmm. You know that Haruka-san always hang out at the race track. 

She must be here. Or we'll have to go to her house after all." Minako said. 

They were approaching the entrance to the race track and noticed that the 

yellow car that Haruka usually drives is not there. Usagi sent a gaze to 

Minako. "Well, we could still ask the crew..." And off they went to the 

garage containing all the race cars of the drivers.

****

'I have to go. They really should be searching for me now. And here I am, 

stuck with a stupid, flu! It couldn't get any better, ne? Geez… Why the hell

is the bathroom door so far?!' Haruka tripped on one of her clothes lying 

around as always, and landed on her face. Grouching, she slowly stood up. 

Her whole body is still weak and is reeling to get some rest, which the tall

Blonde never actually gave. She never wanted to get ill. Dizziness was coming 

once again in her head for the nth time. She knows that blackness awaits her 

if she closes her eyes, and she continued her journey toward the door.

Nevertheless, the tired body gave up, surrendering. And she fell limp on the 

floor with nobody to care for her around.

"Oh, shit! I'm really late now!" Haruka woke up and hurried to get dressed.

She knew that she needs rest but she really didn't bother. She wanted to drive,

to feel free. Hoping that her illness would soon go away once she revved her 

engine and drove off. Careful not to trip again, she made her way to the bathroom

and took some medicine from the cabinet. 'Just in case,' she thought. 'I wouldn't

want to faint in front of them.' 

In about ten minutes, Haruka stood outside her apartment, deciding if she'll take

her car or not. Finally, decided to take her own car, she set off. Feeling the wind 

accompany her on her trip. And the cold air brought by the rains. 

Parking inside and quickly changing into her fire suit, Haruka jogged to the track.

Ignoring the rebellion of her body. 

"Yuki!" Haruka said in a husky low voice which was quite faltering. She never felt 

this weak before but she needed to be practicing since the race is soon to start.

She wanted to go to the young mechanic, without knowing why, but Ken already saw her.

"Haruka...! Where have you been? Be ready, ok? I'll meet you outside." Her boss said

and disappeared outside the door of the garage. The sun outside was surely shining

brightly and she couldn't see much of the track except for two or three cars. Her

eyes were burning, not because of tears. And her body wants to collapse. But her mind

was still fighting the urge to get some sleep and do nothing.

"Are you alright, Tenoh-san?" A sweet voice called upon her as she slowly sat down on one of the benches nearby. She turned and saw the young mechanic standing over her shoulder. A hand placed carefully upon her right one.She saw the worry in the face but was too immersed in pain to think about it. But she felt the cold seep through her skin. 

"Hai." Haruka looked up at her friends' eye. Careful not to show that she's suffering. But her cold sweat betrayed her. 

"You know, with brows like that, one could tell something's wrong, am I right?" Yuki bent down and looked directly at the young racer's face, examining every inch of her face. Looking for something else than fear. Than a wall sheltering the heart. Looking for some weakness that the champion does not want to show, to anyone. "Haruka, why don't you take a rest. I'm sure the boss will understand. It's not like you're gone forever. Just take some rest until you're well again."

The blonde just looked at the person who was now sitting next to her, hands still placed over hers. Confused. But understanding. Yet doesn't want to give in. She stood up and tried to recover her stature, covering up the weakness she knew she feels inside. "Arigato, Yuki. But I wouldn't want to miss the practice today." Then she jogged off to the track as her friend silently shook her head in disapproval.

"Oh no… HARUKA!"

****

A week had gone by since she collapsed at the race track. Even before reaching her car. She couldn't remember everything that happened. Just that she had been weak to let her body get its way. To let it prevail over her mind. 

A week in the hospital, geez… That's what I needed? What a waste of time. I surely am glad I could get outta here tomorrow. The blonde mused while watching the scenery of nature outside her window. She was isolated in a room. Didn't know how she got there and how things are arranged exactly the way she wanted it, while staying in the hospital, not that she really liked the idea of spending time in the building. Only one name comes in her mind as she stares at the room she was assigned. Light blue in color, not the usual white rooms hospitals usually have. Sometimes, she wonders if it were really a hospital. But after an accident a few days ago, when a nurse came down to check on her, she noticed little blood stains in her dress. Guess it really is the damn hospital. She always hated the building since her childhood. For reasons that she only shared with Michiru. Her… Michiru……

Knock! A silent tap on the door. It was audible enough to be heard. No noise is inhibiting the room. No cheers. No laughter. No music. Just sadness and loneliness. I'm sure it's just one of the nurses or… A boy about ten years old opened the door slightly and peeked inside. Haruka was astonished to see the young lad but kept still. Not showing the surprise and making herself more comfortable. The boy bowed and introduced himself. And politely asked for an autograph. They wouldn't let me rest, ne? Even if I'm laid on the hospital bed, I still get to sign papers, Haruka thought. But smiled at the boy and signed the piece of paper he held in his little hands, bowed and left the room.

Knock! Another one. Why couldn't they just go? 

"Haruka?" The door was suddenly open without the notice of the blonde. Yuki was standing beside the frame of the door. Ready to go out if the blonde wants her to, but also ready to stay and resist the order. She knew from watching the racer that she always get what she wants. And nothing would prevent her from achieving her dreams. Only one person have been able to control the vigorous racer. That is, the aqua-haired beauty she passed by when she first entered the track. Who was sitting beside the other team members, with sparkle in her eyes while watching the race of the famous racer, Haruka Tenoh. 

"Hai?" The low voice of the patient brought the blue-haired girl back from reverie. Haruka was quite amazed with herself when she saw the young woman come in instead of the nurse. "What's wrong? You look like you've seen some ghost."

"Nani?" Quite confused, Yuki smiled and took the seat beside the bed. "I was just thinking. Nothing else. You seem okay today, Tenoh-san."

"Use my first name, ok? It's much better to hear than that. Besides, I call you by your name." Haruka smiled at her visitor and looked outside the window. The birds were playing by the huge tree. It was autumn already and the wind's getting colder. Just another week and the racer would be told that she had recovered completely. Giving her permission to get out of the place. And return to the track.

Yuki followed Haruka's gaze and wondered why she's so intense. She had been with Haruka before. At the track and at the concert. But she couldn't place what is she feeling right now. But letting herself relax. 

"Haruka!" Usagi exclaimed as she entered the room. In a moment, the princess was at the blonde's bed side. Holding the still frail hand of the racer, tightly. Haruka winced slightly but let the princess hold on to her hand. One by one, the inners filled the small room. And voices soon filled the usually silent room.

"Baka! Let her go!"

"Rei!"

"Haruka, try these. I made them in the morning."

"And Usagi here wants to eat them all up."

"But they're just sooooo delicious!"

"How are you, Haruka?" Minako asked through the high voices that surrounds them. The priestess and the princess was arguing again and Makoto was busy keeping them away from the food she's taking out from the basket they carried. Ami, who was watching them from the corner, was the first to notice the girl who was standing beside the window, apparently shocked from the scene that is taking place.

Hesitating for a moment, but finally found that it is impossible for the others to notice the other person in the room, Ami walked towards Yuki."Ami Mizuno." She introduced herself. 

"… Yuki Nakou." The girl standing beside the window replied and gave a weak smile. Nodding, Ami began to introduce the others, without them noticing the other blue-haired person in the room. Haruka was busy talking with Minako who seem to take time in conversing with the young racer, after being beaten in the arcade for a thousand times. 

"So you are one of Haruka's team mate?" inquired Ami. The other girls were still occupied with something, though Usagi and Rei were not fighting anymore, but laughing. Yuki looked confused but smiled as she saw Haruka duck as a hanky flew over the bed. "Oh, don't worry. We're always like this. They're always running around, while I'm the serious one." With the last sentence, all heads turned towards Ami, who looked under investigation in the eyes of the girls who are surrounding them.

"Oh, sure you are!" Makoto suddenly grabbed Ami by the waist and tickled the young soon-to-be doctor. The other three soon joined in and Haruka was left on the bed, chuckling at the sight. When the laughter subsided, all of them introduced themselves one by one.

"Are they…?" 

"Hai, they are all my friends." Haruka answered before Yuki said anything more. "Don't worry, they're good friends." Like you… Arigato, Yuki, for looking after me. Haruka looked at her friend with meaningful eyes but didn't say a word. Yuki just nodded silently and watched how the girls cheered Haruka up. 

Tons of laughter was evolving inside the room. Time to time they were telling Haruka stories about the senshis, but of course they didn't talk about their alter-ego. They all agreed that they shouldn't talk about it with someone whom they had just met, or they haven't known. They simply couldn't give away that kind of information. 

"So you're the mechanic of the team, Yuki. It must be nice working with those cars. I simply adore them!"

"Usagi! You can't just call her that. It's impolite, you know."

"Oh, it's okay, Rei. It's really nice to work with those guys and repair the cars. And be of a muse among them… well, not exactly." Yuki turned to look at Haruka who stopped eating a piece of cake Makoto baked, and looked back to see the smile in Yuki's face and hear the others giggle.

"I'm not a muse!" Haruka grumbled through her full mouth. If Michiru was here, she would not let this pass… 

"Sure, you're not. You're the only girl in the team of men racers!" Yuki said, eyes sparkling. She suddenly felt welcome around the girls. And isn't too shy anymore. Haruka tried to get out of bed but her body didn't obey. She just sat there, pouting. 

Geez, she's cute when she pouts… Yuki thought, almost on the verge on saying it aloud. The other senshi's were watching, thoughtful ideas forming in their minds.

****

^_^ So that's about it! For now, that is… It's hard to think when you have three stories in your mind, you know. Hope I finish it, well… We'll see about that


	4. default chapter

****

Haruka was out of the hospital at last. Two weeks after her release, she continuously enjoys walking around the park. Savoring the fresh air and not the smell of disinfectant. Looking around for somebody who she haven't seen for quite a long time. Looking for some specks of blue. Usagi and Minako have seen Yuki holding her when she collapsed that day at the track. They accompanied the crew to the hospital but didn't  visit too often. Only the young mechanic spent her free time with the racer. Taking care of her. And seeing if everything's fine. She could just remember the look in Yuki's face when the rest of the group showed up in the hospital room, except of course, the outers. She knew Setsuna have known what happened. Also, Hotaru. Her daughter always had a vision whenever something's going to happen bad to her parents and aunties. Only Michiru, she wasn't sure if the sea goddess knew. 

I miss her…

Haruka stood up from the bench. Walking toward the lake at the verge of the city. There, she always found quiet time. When everything that surrounds her is only nature. When the wind goes against her face. Trying to mess with her hair and outrun her. When the waters would be so calm. And tempting…

I wonder if she knew…

How is she doing anyway?

"Nani?" Haruka suddenly stopped on track as she bumped with their princess. Carrying a whole lot of bags in her hands. 

"Oh, I'm sorry, Haruka." Usagi apologized while picking up her bags which was thrown at the racer. Being the gentleman as she is, Haruka bent down to help the princess. Picking up this and that. Gifts, for certain. As Christmas is nearing.

"It's alright, Odango. Here, let me help you with those." Haruka offered as they finished placing all of the gifts that stumbled out of the bags in. "Where are you going anyway?"

"Arigato, Haruka. I'm going home now. Mamo-chan would have accompanied me shopping but he had a lot to do at work. You know, Christmas schedule." 

"Hai. I know." Michiru was always like that… Especially during Christmas. With those concerts. But I didn't mind…

"When is your race going to start, Haruka?" Usagi asked. Haruka was staring far that she didn't hear the princess speak. But Usagi didn't push through with her question. 

She knew perfectly well that the races start at spring. She just wanted Haruka to speak. 

I bet she's thinking about Michiru, now…

"Arigato, Haruka!" They already reached Tsukino's residence, but Haruka didn't notice it. Her mind is still floating. When Usagi took her bags from the tall blondes' grip was the moment Haruka snapped out of dreaming.

"Hai, sorry." She mumbled but Usagi heard it. 

"You don't have to be sorry Haruka-san. I bet she's thinking of you, too!" Usagi smiled at the racer who stared at her. She didn't even bother to wait for Haruka to respond then said, "Come by during Christmas, okay? The others will be here also. Ja ne! And arigato!" With that Usagi entered the house leaving Haruka outside. To her own thoughts. 

Here? They usually spend Christmas at our place… now, my place… It isn't the same without you, Michi… It just isn't…

****

"You're a goddess, Michiru!" 

Nani? Me, a goddess? Haruka? No one has ever called me a goddess except her…

"Michiru…?"

Ruka… I miss you…

"Michiru, are you alright?" A confused Makoto said to her. Another concert was over. As usual, the inners were there to watch her play. All of them. Including Setsuna and Himme-chan, are crowding in the dressing room of the musician. Chatting about the concert and the preparations they were about to make in two days.

Only two days before Christmas. And everyone already have their gifts wrapped up. This year they were celebrating at Usagi's place. They usually spend their Christmases at the house by the sea that Haruka owned and Michiru knew that. But she didn't ask why were they going to celebrate the occasion at Usagi's place. 

Maybe Haruka would be there, too…

"Michiru…" Setsuna's voice called. "Don't worry. You'll see her again." She then nodded and went back to talking with the inners. Hotaru looked up at her mama and smiled before going back to playing with Chibiusa. Michiru stood up and walked towards the crowd. Joining the conversation. Trying to push Haruka's thoughts away. Though she knew that she couldn't. Not that easy. 

They were still talking when they reached outside. The theater was going to close so they had to leave. It was almost midnight and Setsuna agreed to take the girls home. 

"Are you sure you're gonna be okay?" Setsuna asked Michiru who wanted to ride alone on her way home. In her own car. 

"Hai, Setsuna. Arigato. Just take of them, okay? I'm old enough to take care of myself." She waved goodbye to the other car as it drove to the streets of Tokyo. Starting her own engine, she slowly drove her way home. An apartment she rented after she left Haruka. The house by the sea was no longer. Haruka still owns it but doesn't stay there. Michiru found that out when she went to visit the blonde just four weeks ago when she felt something was wrong. She found the place exactly as it had been when she left. But dust covered almost the entire floor. 

I love you, Michiru…

She could still remember the husky voice that said that phrase over and over again. And how she would love to hear it again. But no, she wouldn't… She didn't even know where the racer when to. All she knows is that she's still in Tokyo. And that she still races. Nothing else. 

"Where are we going, Haruka?" The tall blonde left the track early and took the mechanic with her. Wanting not just to say a mere thank you. But something else. Wanting to show her something special. 

"Hush, you'll see." Haruka drove towards the beach. Stopping when she reached a certain favorite spot. Overlooking the sea and the sand. Where she could feel the wind and the water clash. "Here we are. Take a look." She pointed toward the horizon with the setting sun. The beauty of nature flooded all over the place. Yuki smiled and looked around, getting out of the car with Haruka following. She wasn't really the artistic type but she enjoys such moments of tranquility. 

"Whose house is that over there?" Yuki asked pointing to the huge house standing near the sea. Haruka sighed. She knew she could lie that it was somebody else's, but she didn't.

"It's mine. My parents left it to me." She admitted. Haruka's features changed when she said the word parents. "I used to live there." She couldn't say the other words that wanted to come out of her mouth. She wanted to say that she lived there with her family, with Michiru, Hotaru and Setsuna. Her once whole, happy family. 

A long silence followed the two. Standing over the cliff watching the sunset. The orange clouds dancing in the wind, as the waters rushed inland. Haruka closed her eyes, trying not to feel so emotional with the scenery. IT had been Michiru's favorite, seeing the setting sun. Sitting on the shore, in each other's arms. Finally, Yuki broke the silence.

"Arigato, Haruka." She looked at the blonde racer whose thoughts were running through her mind. She saw the deep thinking in Haruka's dark eyes. She wanted to speak but couldn't. 

A soft touch tore Haruka away from her memories. Yuki had placed her hand upon her shoulder, looking at her with a worried expression on her face. Haruka's face lightened up to hide what she's feeling inside. Yuki inwardly shook her head at Haruka's change of expression. She wanted to comfort the racer, but it seems that she doesn't want to. Sighing, Yuki smiled at her companion. And continued to watch the birds as they flew in the orange sky.

"You really dig shopping, ne?" Haruka said as she followed her friend in the store. Yuki wanted to buy another gift for Christmas. She said there's still one person whom she haven't prepared a gift for, yet. Haruka on the other hand, had her gifts for the girls and a bunch for her team mates on track. But when they entered the store, Yuki tore away to look at the clothes and little gifts displayed on the counter. Haruka quietly followed looking at the dresses that surrounds them. 

She knew the store. It was another of Michiru's favorite place. Where she would drag her and make her carry all the baggage she had bought. An attendant recognized her and made her way to the blonde when she saw the young lady who was with the racer, not the famous artist, then turned and assisted another customer. Haruka sighed. 

They thought we were a couple. She looked at Yuki. 

No… She maybe good to me, but nobody's going to replace Michiru. 

Not ever…

******

Sorry that this part is short. I'll try to lengthen it up a bit next time!

Promise!

Thanks to those who've read my fics, thank you very much! ^_^

I'll finish the next part as soon as possible!


	5. default chapter

*****  
  
"Michiru! Glad you can make it!" Minako answered the door. It was Christmas and as promised, the party was held at Usagi's house. The inners were already there, except for Makoto who had gone for a run to the nearby store to buy butter. Michiru carried two paper bags full of gifts. Hotaru ran up to her mama and hugged the sea senshi. Setsuna smiled at her and returned to watching the cooking Makoto left. The girls in the living room were talking. Rei and Usagi were arguing again. Ami was reading a book when Minako snatched it and tucked it away, saying that it wasn't the right time to read and read. Ami sighed defeated and decided to stop the arguing girls. Chibiusa took Hotaru and the two disappeared in her room. Michiru made her way to the kitchen after placing all the gifts under the tree. Setsuna was having a hard time with the roast.  
  
"Michiru, would you please hand over the salt?" Setsuna asked. As the sea senshi complied, the main door rang. An excited shout could be heard all over the house. Michiru peeked to see what it was the girls were shouting for. Haruka stood at the door, bags all over her shoulders, as if coming from a flight. Her hair was messed and still wet. A small white dog was yelping around the living room. All the girls were trying to catch it and hold the little puppy in her arms. Hotaru and Chibiusa joined in, too. Michiru had to giggle at the sight.  
  
Michiru… Haruka noticed the aqua-haired woman standing behind the kitchen door. She's still beautiful… even if she wears those simple clothes. She kept on standing by the door, unwilling to close it.  
  
"Ugh!"  
  
"Sorry, Haruka," Makoto rushed in and took over the kitchen. The racer scratched her head, looking at the ever busy Mako especially during the Christmas season. Michiru heard the husky voice and remembered that she was there. She then turned around and went back to the kitchen. Haruka stood still for a while. Closing her eyes, she sighed then closed the door and arranged the gifts she brought. Sitting with the rest of the girls afterwards after Hotaru gave her a hug.  
  
"Haruka-papa! I missed you!"  
  
Michiru froze as she heard Hotaru spoke. She missed Haruka, too. But…  
  
Ruka… I, I…'m…  
  
"Earth to Michiru!" Setsuna spoke up. She was asking Michiru to hand over something that the girl asked didn't hear and was handing over a spoon instead. "You know, you better snap out of it. You missed her, admit it. And no buts!" The green-haired woman smiled returning back to work with Makoto arranging all the other ingredients. Michiru looked at her in surprise not knowing what to say.  
  
Hai, I missed her, too. But…  
  
"Don't let your pride get in the way, Michiru…" Setsuna spoke again as if reading the sea senshi's thoughts. "She loves you!"  
  
"Hai, that she does!" Makoto responded with a grin. "Now, please, Setsuna, let's get back to work?" she pleaded to the time senshi who shook her head in astonishment at the brunette's reply.  
  
They're right, Michiru thought, smiling to herself. There's no need to ignore Haruka's presence now. There never was, really. I just hoped we still stayed in touch… When you left her? Hai, even if I LEFT her. That's it! Maybe, just maybe we could rescue our friendship… Michiru's eyes brightened up at that thought. She was still in the kitchen, staring blankly at the chefs. Playing with the spoon in her hand. She would talk with Haruka…  
  
Ding dong!  
  
Nani?  
  
The door rang.  
  
Ding dong!  
  
Again.  
  
"Hai!" Usagi rose and answered the door. Haruka, with her back facing the door, turned and smiled. A young girl with short blue hair was standing by the door. Carrying a package. "Can I help you?" Usagi asked.  
  
"Yuki!" Haruka stood up and went to her friend. Usagi backed and was thrown a lot of you-don't-remember looks. Face flushed from embarrassment, the princess started to sob.  
  
"You baka!"  
  
"You couldn't remember her?"  
  
"Hush, maybe she just wasn't listening when Haruka introduced her to us in the hos…"  
  
"Shhh…"  
  
"Gomen, I forgot…"  
  
Michiru looked at Setsuna questioningly. She didn't understand what the others were saying, rather whispering to each other. The older woman shook her head. She didn't know what happened, but she know something happened to Haruka. Her schedule during those times were just tight that she didn't have time to visit the racer. Hotaru wanted to see if she was alright but when they got to her new house, she was not there. And all the inners told her was that Haruka's fine as they have seen her a lot of times.  
  
"Ahem," Haruka said, getting all the attention in the room. "I don't believe I have introduced all of you to this caring, person." Haruka started, giving Yuki a smile which made the mechanic blush. She invited Yuki in as Usagi went back to the living room. The mechanic giggled at the sight and the whisperings that was before her.  
  
Caring?  
  
Michiru eyed the new person in the room. Short blue hair, almost like Ami's. Slender form, but a little bit musculated. Eyes shining light blue green and a face of a teenager. Caring? She called her caring?  
  
"Guys, this is Yuki Nakou, the mechanic of our team. And a good friend of mine." Haruka's eyes looked around the room and finally met Michiru's. She was staring unbelievingly at the girl in front of them. This person? A mechanic in her team?  
  
Michiru shook herself.  
  
"Yuki," holding out one hand pointing at each member of the group, she introduced them all. The inners giving a big smile. Remembering how the mechanic cared for Haruka when she laid in the hospital. And how she laughed at their craziness. But their eyes show something else. Worry.  
  
Worry about what? Haruka asked her herself. Michiru stared at her for a long time when Haruka looked at her when she introduced Yuki to the sea senshi. Yuki bowed slightly and gave a meek smile to the known violinist. She was indeed surprised to see the Kaioh Michiru sitting with the girls she had known in the hospital.  
  
Haruka looked straight back into Michiru's eyes, asking. So, that is what the girls are worried about. Even she couldn't help but worry whenever Michiru looked that way whenever she flirted. Only now, she isn't flirting. She was just saying the truth. Michi couldn't see that. But I hope she does… The racer let out a sigh as the aqua-haired woman shifted her sight to Yuki and forced a smile back to the mechanic and continued introducing those who were left.  
  
  
  
"Take care!" Usagi waved goodbye to Michiru as she drove home. She was furious with herself… with Haruka… no, with whoever she is that showed up when she was getting the courage to talk to Haruka. No, Haruka did it.  
  
She was arguing with herself. She didn't know what to think. She didn't even get the chance to speak to Haruka about her plan simply because Yuki was there. She would have left but Haruka didn't let her, saying that it is much fun with them compared to the mechanic's home. The mechanic gave up and stayed until the celebration was finished.  
  
Gods! Why am I so… You LEFT her, so don't be upset, Michiru!  
  
She was battling with herself. Over her feelings that she desperately tried to get over with the past months after she left their house. After leaving everything they had built for each other. After leaving the love that brought her immeasurable happiness in her whole life.  
  
"Shit!" Michiru said, breaking down on her own bed. In her own apartment. She was on the verge of crying before leaving Usagi's and was holding back her tears during the drive. She didn't want to crash. Although she wanted to leave. And forget. After locking the door, she went upstairs to change. But tears swelled up and didn't stop.  
  
Her plan didn't work. No, her plan didn't have a chance to occur in the first place.  
  
She was blaming whoever the girl with Haruka is. Coming over and ruining her day. And it's Christmas! It was never like this since I first met her…! It was never this ruined since I left our house a when I was seven! Since they took me away from my father! From my… from that guy!!  
  
She was blaming Haruka. Letting her friend ruin the day for her love. LOVE? How could she love you, when you left her? How could she forgive you, you ungrateful brat! Damn it! She couldn't even look at you for a long time!  
  
"Haruka…" She continued to cry. She was crying for everything that happened. Blaming Haruka for letting Yuki stay. For being so cold when she tried to approach her. For having empty eyes whenever their gazes met. For being so damn ignorant of what she was feeling!  
  
Hush, it's all right. I'll protect you…  
  
She could remember her words. Everytime a nightmare could come and visit her. Nightmares about her past. About her father. She wouldn't hurt me. No, she wouldn't…  
  
Hey, don't look too sad, I'm here. I'll always be here…  
  
No, she couldn't blame Haruka for what happened. No, she just can't! It's all HER fault! It's all her fault!  
  
"I… I'm… sorry…" she said between sobs. "Ruka…" It's all my fault. If I hadn't been selfish, it wouldn't be like this! If I hadn't been jealous, I might have talked to you before! This may have been straightened out! This… what I have done…! Oh, shit! Why does it have to be this way?! Why do I have to feel this damn way?! Why……?  
  
Moonlight shines upon her as she lay in bed. Crying her heart out. Holding on to a pillow for comfort as the dim light caresses her to sleep.  
  
****  
  
so, how was it? It's not yet finished, though. But I'd like to get comments about the story's flow.  
  
Any suggestions? Just mail me at ao_tenshi27@hotmail.com ok? Jaa! 


	6. default chapter

Hello there! Yes, this story's still alive. I just have to think other plots to continue. If anybody wants to help, just email me at michi-chan@sailormoon.com. Jaa!

****

"Nani?" Setsuna looked up at her friend in surprise. She was preparing dinner when Michiru showed up. It had been seldom that the sea senshi visited Setsuna and Hotaru since she and Haruka separated ways. Hotaru was at Chibiusa's but was coming home for dinner. Michiru offered to help the time senshi with the cooking to surprise her daughter who had not tasted her own-cooked meals for a long time. It was two days after the 'incident' at Usagi's house and she told the older woman about it. Setsuna just listened as she continued pacing around the room looking for something. Then she mentioned about it.

"You're going to America?" Setsuna repeated with a worried look in her eyes. "Are you sure you want that, Michiru?" She then asked, stopping in front of the girl who was sitting down, looking at the vegetables laid in the table as though she was cutting them with her eyes, but really not looking at anything. She dropped the knife as she told the story to Setsuna. She didn't want anything to happen. Anything to go wrong now. She wanted to be given the time she needed to sort things out. To set everything straight. To build a new life. And forget… try to forget, at least. 

Michiru nodded in response to the question. Setsuna sighed. She knew that the other was as stubborn as Haruka. She wouldn't let anything get in her way. She would do anything to get what she wanted. In her past and present life. Haruka was the only one who can bend those rules a little. Michiru was taken to an orphanage when they took her from her cruel family, her real family. There, a rich couple adopted her, but they died in a car crash. And she was left with all the riches of the family. She was absorbed in her dreams of becoming a violinist, having been taught by her foster mother, and painting her own world. That was before she saw the features of the sandy blonde haired racer, Tenoh Haruka. 

Why are you giving up on her, Michiru? Setsuna was asking herself. It wasn't like the sea senshi to give up on something she wanted. It just isn't. Especially, if it's Haruka.

"I'm sorry, Sets, but… it gets so hard here. I just want to begin again, if it's possible. Haruka seems happy now." Michiru said. She knew it wasn't true, at least it wasn't the whole truth. She had seen the happiness in Haruka's eyes when Yuki showed up. She had seen her lover smile at somebody other than her, the way she smiled at her. She had seen the sparkle in them, though the others' eyes don't shine so much. But she's happy! Michiru shook off the thoughts that is running through her mind. She already decided, nobody is going to change that. Not even the inners, the princess, Sets, Himme-chan, or Haruka… 

Hai, even Haruka…

"When…?" 

"In the middle of January," Michiru cut her short. "There are still some papers that I need to arrange before going. And to spend some time with you, guys." She forced a smile on her face. A part of her wanted to stay, even if she's hurt. To take the risk of arranging everything. To live with her Ruka again. But a large part of her wanted to run. She was a fighter, but she could also opt to run and flee the pain, if she could. And be with the wind. A different one from the wind she was fleeing from…

"Michiru!"

"Michiru-mama!"

"Hai!" Michiru waved as a small crowd pushed through the mass of people in the airport. The day finally arrived. Her flight was on schedule. Only a couple of hours more and she'll be flying out of the country. Usagi and the others were shocked by the news, but they looked like they anticipated it. When she left after saying that she'll be going to America for a year or so, whispers could be heard… the only thing she heard was, 'Haruka…' She planned to say goodbye to the racer, but often failed. How many times was she there at the track to see her, but she was always crowded with people. How many times had she tried to approach her, but she was then called to practice. How many times had she gotten her attention, only to be given a cold smile and expressionless eyes. She wasn't good at this anymore. She used to get through Haruka very easily, but now… 

"Usagi! Don't step on my foot!" Rei exclaimed. They were standing in front of Michiru now, who was giggling at the sight. Ami, Minako and Makoto was trying to stop the argument, until they end up teasing each other. Laughing and giggling like children. Michiru sighed looking at her watch. One of Haruka's present. 

"Michiru-mama!" Hotaru tugged at her sleeve. Her adopted child was standing beside her, reaching out to hug her mother. She knew what's happening, a brilliant child as she is. And she understands it. Like others, she didn't want Michiru to go, but it was HER decision, and no one else plays a role in deciding for her since there's no more Haruka and Michiru. Michiru stooped down and hugged her daughter tightly. 

"Take care of yourself, Himme-chan…" she forces back a sob. She doesn't want to cry. No she doesn't want this departure to be a sad one. She wanted to face a new life. Get over the old one… She knew it wasn't easy. She knew what she's leaving behind. She knew that it is her life she's leaving behind when she leave. But she had no other choice. 

I'm sorry… I'm not strong enough to face it…

Ruka…

Haruka was standing not far away from the gate, leaning on the wall. Watching the scene before her. Michiru hadn't seen her, not yet. She had maintained her distance from musician since she got there, right behind the inners. She got news of Michiru's departure from Setsuna when she visited her daughter the previous week. Setsuna tried to get her to talk to Michiru and convince her to stay, to work it out. But she didn't comply. As much as she wanted to work things out. She just couldn't do it. She isn't that…

"Have you seen…?" Makoto asked the others as she looked out for the blonde racer. There were a lot of people crowding toward the entrance of the plane that it is hard to see through them. But she was sure that Haruka was somewhere in the airport, close to them. 

"Hai, she's right there," Setsuna pointed to the wall next to the glass windows of the airport. Haruka has her head bent forward, but was looking outside the window. Apparently thinking. Michiru looked up and saw her. Looked at her for a long time. 

Haruka… you came.

She wanted to go and hug the racer for being there, but was afraid of the rejection. She wanted to apologize but there was something helding her back.

"Go," Setsuna whispered to her. The time senshi was watching her movements. Understanding her eyes. She knew what was going on in her. She wanted her two best friends to get back together, but knew that she shouldn't get too much involved in the situation. After all, it was between Michiru and Haruka. Only between Michiru and Haruka. Michiru looked at her friend as the other woman gave her a smile. "It's all right. Go." She said, answering a silent question in the back of the sea senshi's mind. Michiru looked at the inners who were watching out for cute guys and decided that for the older woman's advice. 

"Hey," Michiru said. Haruka looked up at her and watched her with a mixed expression. She didn't know what to feel. The person she love was standing before her, meaning to start a conversation like the old times. Attracting her attention. Stammering like a little child which was certainly not like Michiru. Like when they first met. Like every time there's something wrong. Like every time the smaller girl was trembling.  

Michiru stopped right in front of Haruka. A small smile playing on her lips. She, too, doesn't know what she's feeling. With Haruka right in front of her. Since she left, there only a few times when she had the racer this close. Especially when Haruka wanted her back. When the racer just appears right in front of her house when there wasn't any practice, carrying a lot of stuff. She didn't figure out how Haruka managed to know her house and when she asked Setsuna about it, the older woman just smiled. But that was before she shouted that she didn't want to go back anymore. That she didn't want the relationship anymore. Right in front of Haruka's face. That she was tired of the racer's dangerous tricks. That everything sucks. Of course, it doesn't. But her stubbornness gets in the way. She wanted to shut Haruka out of her life. And she did it… Unfortunately, memories wouldn't fade. Like pain. 

She realized her mistake a few moments after she said that. The moment Haruka had left her porch. When she cried the whole night. She wanted to run after the blonde, but the other was in her motorcycle. Speeding across the street. She wanted to go after Haruka, but she was frozen in her place. Stifling her tears as they trickle down her cheeks.

No, she shouldn't remember those things anymore. She shouldn't go back. She mustn't show… pain. She should try to fix their friendship, even just their friendship.

"Hey," Haruka replied standing straight, towering over the other person. She didn't know what to say. She didn't mean to get noticed. She didn't want to be noticed by anyone. She just wanted to stay where she was, silently sorting things to herself. To let her understand it much more. But, they did notice. And she's here. SHE's standing right in front of her.

"Haruka," Michiru started. It is hard for her to say this. But she should at least try and salvage their friendship from the broken relationship. This was her only chance. She should do it. She could do it. "Haruka, I'm…"

"It's all right, Michiru. You don't have to say sorry. It's my fault anyway." Haruka responded. "And I'm sorry, too."

"No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have said those words… I never…" Michiru was stammering. She couldn't speak straight as her emotions got stuck at her throat. Her eyes were starting to water. She so wanted to speak with Haruka. She knew she could do it, but she couldn't bring herself to. She usually doesn't have any problem with saying what she wanted, but now, it seems the opposite. 

Haruka reached out for her hand, taking it into her own. Lightly squeezing it as to give comfort hearing the trembling voice of Michiru and seeing the mixed emotions in the other ones eyes. "Hush, it's alright. I, I shouldn't…"

"Haruka," Michiru cleared her voice. "Don't talk. Just first listen to me, please?" She looked at the racer who nodded in answer. Careful not to take her eyes out from Michiru's gaze. "Just before I leave, I just want to ask you something." Haruka wanted to say something but Michiru looked at her so she kept quiet. Still holding the other woman's hand. "Can we still be friends? Even if not best friends… at least, as a simple friend?" There, she said it. She was only waiting for Haruka to answer. 

"Flight 304 to New York, the plane will be leaving in 20 minutes."

"That's your flight, right?" Haruka asked, looking at the others who were still busy chatting with themselves and noticing people around. Michiru sighed in response. Haruka knew she would wait for her answer before leaving to board the plane. She was astonished at what Michiru asked her, not foreseeing that that is what Michiru wanted to ask. Other than getting back together. 

Maybe she isn't that keen to be with me again. I'm sorry, Michiru… I hope you can see that… If she already decided on that, I guess it is much better than this… I still love you, Michi…

"Hai, friends." Haruka forced a smile on her face. She should at least show that she's grateful that Michiru asked her that. That they would still remain friends. That they would be in contact with each other. Though not like before… Friends is much better than none. 

"Arigato, Ru… Haruka." She corrected herself hoping that Haruka wouldn't hear the nickname, but the other did. Haruka smiled to herself. She needs more time. Hai, she needs to get over the pain I did… I'll always be here for you, Michi.

Michiru hugged her friend tightly, being able to lift a heavy weight from her heart. Then turned to board the plane at the last call. "Take care, all of you!" She shouted from the entrance, waved, then disappeared. 

Take care, Michiru…

Take good care…

I'll miss you.

"Haruka?"

"Haruka…?"

"Oh, shut up. Let me do it. Haruka!!!! Hello, Haruka! Haruka to earth!" Minako waves in front of the blonde. They had stopped in a café after Michiru's flight left. She was the first one to leave when Michiru entered the plane, slowly walking outside. Makoto noticed her but Ami stopped her from following. Setsuna glanced over the two, and nodded to Makoto. All three of them watched the racer step out of the main gate and kick stones out of her way. 

Haruka kept unusually quiet from the airport up to the café. Keeping everything to herself. Setsuna knew for a fact that Michiru's leaving affected her, but she wouldn't tell it. Stubborn as always, the older woman thought for herself. This is going to be a tough job for you, Haruka.

"Hey, that's mine!"

"Nope, not anymore!" Usagi and Rei once more picked up something to argue about. The menu on the table. Mamoru looked at both girls trying to stifle a laugh when he saw the look on the waiter's face. Soon, they finally got their orders and somehow managed to quiet down a little. 

Setsuna looked up at Haruka who was staring blankly outside. She sighed at the sight in front of her. Almost all are laughing to the stories Minako is telling, and only Haruka is absent-minded. She want to say something, but she knows that the blonde wouldn't listen. She always want to solve problems by herself. Defeated by her thoughts, the older woman just held the other's hand and squeezed it is slightly, smiling as Haruka faced her with questioning eyes. 

I'm… I'm stupid…

Her teal eyes radiated what she meant. What she feels. Hoping that Setsuna would understand. Hoping that everyone would understand. And just simply stop being happy for a while, when she's still in pain. Hoping that everyone would join her in her solitude. But no, they couldn't… They're simply too happy to feel sad, like her. Simply too happy about everything… 

"Watch it!" a tumbler fell down on Usagi's lap as she and Rei continued their little girl's fight. An explosion of laughter echoed throughout the room. Reaching Haruka's attention. She sighed at what happened, bothering even to look at the inner's faces. Trying to push back her feelings inside. Trying not to feel lonely as she had felt a most of the times since she and Michiru broke up. 

I wish she didn't leave.

I wish I wasn't that stupid to let her go.

I wish I wasn't that afraid…

I love you… Michiru……


	7. default chapter

What the?!

"Hotaru!" Chibiusa gasped as the dark-haired girl leaned on the wall next to her as they were walking in the mall. It had been almost ten months after Michiru had left. The group often received letters from the musician saying that she has a good life there. That she had made a good start. And everything's going well for her. How her music was a success there. And also her art. The museums had been on her back since she arrived there. She didn't know that there are many people who knew about her. And helped her make it to the top there. "You alright?" 

Hotaru took a deep breath before smiling to her best friend. It's the first time they would go out after school started last August. Usually, they would drag any of the senshi along, just for fun. But all seem to be busy, even Usagi. 

"Yes, don't worry, little princess." Chibiusa nodded then waited for her friend to get ready for their tour.  Hotaru remained silent as they walked hand in hand. The moment's vision playing through her mind. 

"Himme-chan!" Haruka shouted. She was carrying shopping bags that Yuki gave her. Yuki nudged her on the ribs to take her attention. Haruka was shouting very loud and Yuki was blushing pink as people look at them with astonished eyes. The blonde ignored her and continued to shout as Hotaru looked around and found her papa in the middle of the crowd. Looking all so manly with all the things she's carrying. Though her eyes were exhausted. "How's my little princess? Oh, Konnichiwa, Chibiusa! How's Usagi today?"

"Just the same, Haruka. Always having trouble with the kitchen!" Haruka giggled at the thought of Usagi burning the kitchen as she does and Mamoru's face when she does so. 

"Everything's fine, Haruka-papa." Hotaru gave her weak smile then collapsed. Chibiusa kneeled down to stroke over Hotaru's hair as Haruka was shouting to get an ambulance.

"Hey."

"Haruka-papa."

"Himme-chan, how are you doing?"

She blinked for a few times as the sight before her clears. She was in the hospital. The white background reflects the sunlight coming from the window although it is already dusk. She looked at the nurse who was checking her conditions before she took notes and left the room.

"I'm okay now." She sighed. It happened again. Just like before. Her seeing those horrible images in her mind and she couldn't help but let her body react to it. She always felt weak after those attacks, but she never could have stopped it. It comes naturally to her.

"What happened?" Haruka looked at her daughter. She is a teenager now. Maybe she could handle herself in other ways but she cannot handle things like this alone. She remembered the days when Hotaru was still young and every time they had to fight, just days before that, Hotaru would say something that they couldn't understand, then faint. Just so that she and Michiru would realize that what she was saying is something that would happen in the future when the day comes.

Hotaru didn't answer right away. She looked at her papa the way she had looked at her parents before. Full of misery. Full of pain. Pain that would be brought upon by the fight that would soon occur. 

"I had this dream…"

What was that?

She stopped playing and the conductor looked at her gravely. It was the third time that she interrupted the rehearsals by stopping and just staring blankly on the seats before them. 

Weird…

"Hey, you okay?" She looked up and saw her 'friend'. A person she quickly got to know and got close to from the group of musicians she has been rehearsing with since she came to the US. Short black hairs were combed nicely and deep dark eyes were looking directly at her when she entered the hall and talked with the conductor. 

"It's alright, Jesi." She looked up and gently squeezed the hand of the girl standing behind her with a hand upon her shoulder. Jesi was the pianist of the group. A handsome young girl with a striking smile. Much like Haruka.

"If you say so." She smiled at the aqua-haired woman in front of her. She just knew Michiru for about what, four months? But has gotten well-acquainted with the famous violinist and knew most about her.

She sat back. Her head was beginning to ache. She often got this feeling when she was still a soldier. When the fights were still furious, when it was really serious. When she got to know her destiny. When she fought with Haruka… 

She shook her head.

I shouldn't be thinking of this. 

She tried to focus on the piece before her.

I should try to forget.

She held her violin tighter.

I should leave it behind. 

She slowly brought it up to her chin. And resumed to play.

Haruka… Hotaru… others…

Her eyes were starting to water. Yet, she maintained her composure. Slowly, her eyes closed and once again, she let herself play with her heart, mind and soul. With all the emotions flowing in her. With all those damned memories that she wanted to forget for almost a year. 

Nine months…

She opened her eyes and looked around. 

No, this isn't the place she was supposed to be. It isn't where her heart is. Hate to admit it, she misses Japan. Everyone…

Haruka…

Some tears left her eyes as she closed them once again. The conductor was smiling as he noticed that she was concentrating. But Jesi was looking at her from the piano, with concern in her eyes.

Silent steps approached her as she was packing her things. It was Jesi. She knew those steps very well. She had lived with the pianist long enough to learn her manners. Manners that very well reminded her of her love, her soulmate. They had lived in the same house since Michiru's apartment was broken in during a rehearsal. Jesi gave her a ride home that night, and was also surprised that someone would rob a simple house that the violinist rents. Right then, the pianist offered her house. At first she didn't want to for it reminds her of Haruka, and the way they got together. 

Their friendship…

Their destinies…

Their love…

She sighed. Wanting to forget all of those about 'them'. For her, it just brings back the tears and the pain of loving. Of the love she chose over her parents. Of the path she wanted to go through together with the person who have captured her heart.

She felt cold although the temperature inside was warm. Her hands were trembling as she placed the sheets away. As her eyelids refrains her tears from falling. And her mind stops her from breaking down.

Can we still be friends?

She knew those words. Words she had spoken before leaving. Words that simply remained words for she didn't even show it. That she wanted Haruka even just as a friend.

"Hey…"

She felt warm hands upon her shoulder. The warmth comforted her a little. Yet, there is still this feeling inside her, swelling up. Wanting to be heard, to be freed. 

"You want to talk about it?"

The voice sounded so concerned. Like the husky voice she had known. And missed… 

She remained silent as Jesi sat her down, taking a seat for herself, too. Michiru's eyes were dark, and her face a little pale. She was looking down, her eyes not exactly staring at something.

Jesi sighed. She looked around. Everybody else had gone home. They were the only ones left. And the janitor who was cleaning up. She wondered if it's the right time… She liked Michiru and although she doesn't want to admit it, she loved the aqua-haired violinist. She wants to protect her, comfort her… but she doesn't know when. Especially now that the girl is worried over something.

"Michiru…"

Silently she said her name. Michiru didn't look up so she thought she wasn't listening. She looked up and stared at the ceiling. Her thoughts all mixed up as to what to say.

Quiet sobs reached her ears and she looked down. Michiru's dress was wet. She obviously is crying. And you don't know what to do!

Why don't you comfort her?

But…

But what? You've done that before! 

I just don't know…

Just comfort her…

She needs that right now.

Hai…

"Michiru" She said once again. This time a little louder. Michiru answered her in sobs but didn't look up. Jesi shifted so that she was sitting in front of the other girl, trying to look into the other's eyes. 

"Hey, hey… don't cry… Everything's gonna be alright…" She held Michiru's hand gently rubbing her fingers against its back. 

"I…" Michiru started. But she couldn't continue as she couldn't control her tears anymore.

"Hush…" Jesi embraced the violinist and rubbed her back. "Let it all out." Michiru hesitated but then desperately searched for hold and hugged the pianist hard. Crying her heart out. Jesi just sat there, holding the crying Michiru. Without knowing what it is that she's so troubled with.

What…?

What is it…?

That could make this person happy…

The way I want her to be…

Michiru held her tighter and soaked her shirt wet. It was well past nine when they got out of the building and went home with no words spoken about it, except for a simple thank you.

The world is full of light and energy. Everybody was happy. No more pains and worries. No more cruelties to be afraid of. No more tragedies. Only love was there. A happy smile was apparent in everyone. They seem to enjoy life. And everything around them. 

But the sky suddenly grew dark. And once more evil energy was sensed. Lightning crashed everywhere. Loud thunder drove the people home, with fear in their eyes. Rain clashed down on earth. Earthquakes start to shake the ground and screams were instantly heard. The darkness was spreading rapidly. Affecting every people. As it comes for her…

NO!

She jumped out of bed, sweating. It was one of those nightmares. Those that she kept having when the destruction was near. 

What was it? A sign?

She shook her head causing her blonde hairs to cover her eyes. 

No, it can't be. We stopped it a long time ago. How in the world…?

A hand reached for her and her thoughts suddenly stopped. She turned to look at the person. 

Yuki…

"What's the matter, Haruka?" The younger girl sat up to embrace the blonde. 

"Nothing… Just a little nightmare. That's all." She smiled at Yuki who kissed her at the cheeks.

She shouldn't be involved in this…

"Seems like 'the Haruka' is afraid of a little nightmare." She smiled back.

You don't understand… You better not be involved in this… This is our fight. You won't understand these dreams…

"Seems like that." Haruka smiled and kissed Yuki before going back to bed. The blue-haired girl dozed off just after her back was laid. Haruka stayed up the whole night thinking. 

Can she feel it, too?


	8. default chapter

"Really, you were great, Michiru!" It was just after the concert and Jesi and her skipped the party to go home since Michiru begged the pianist reasoning that she was already tired.

"Oh, alright. And you were, also!" She giggled as she walked towards her room. She was tired, already and wanted to have a good rest. "Good night!"

"G'night!" Jesi shouted from the living room. Michiru shut the door, undressed and retreated to the bathroom to take a shower. She slipped into the water and closed her eyes. Trying to find relaxation in her element. To find peace again. Like the time when they had defeated Galaxia. Although she knows that it would be a long time before it happens again. When they would defeat their new enemy.

Yes, she already saw the dream. Just as the others felt it, too. More powerful than Chaos itself. More destructive than Galaxia. No, it wasn't human. And her chills grow more each passing day. 

She thought about the sailor soldiers fighting without her. Them giving up their own dreams and she, among the ones who were supposed to protect the planet, was living her dream and not minding her duties as a soldier. Of being one of those the soldiers have to protect. Of being able to live a normal life, throwing away the destiny that was supposedly hers. 

Darkness surrounded her. She felt like drowning. She wanted to scream but her voice failed her terribly. Not a sound came out of her and she was quickly running out of air. She tried to swim but something held her down. Someone was tugging on her feet. She took a gulp of water and swam downward only to see a body. A lifeless body with hands still holding on to her feet. 

Haruka…

She heard a loud laughter. A low voice filled with so much hatred. And of the same time enjoyment of watching her. 

She slapped the blonde's face trying to return consciousness on her. There was no reaction. Still she tried to resuscitate the blonde and to swim to the surface but a strong force held her down. She could feel her tears running down her cheeks although she was deep in the waters. Waters that held her. That won't let her save Haruka. Her partner… soulmate. Her only love.

"NO!"

She was screaming inside the bathroom. Her arms flailing everywhere trying to grab something to hold on. She was desperately crying out for help. While whispering softly Haruka's name.

"NO!"

She was watching a comedy when Jesi heard the scream. She was startled that it came from Michiru's bedroom and hurried up to check what it is. She was about to knock when she heard another scream. Forgetting her manners, she quickly went inside the bathroom and saw Michiru in the tub. Screaming… for help.

"Michiru…" She whispered as she shook the girl awake. Blue eyes slowly opened letting her tears fall. She looked as if she came from another dimension. From a place packed with horrible visions, dreams. She flung her arms at Jesi and cried. 

What happened, Michiru?

What's bothering you…?

She wanted to ask, but she couldn't say anything. Just wrapping her arms around the crying girl. Ignoring the fact that Michiru was still in the tub, naked and wet. She just wanted to comfort her friend. For now…

"You okay?" Jesi asked her for about ten times now and all she did was nod. She has been crying all night. Jesi gave her a bathrobe and took her out of the bathroom towards the living room, making her tea afterwards. Before settling down on the chair opposite her. 

"Do you…" She looked at Michiru who was still looking gravely. Staring at nothing in front of her. With her hands trembling. 

She sighed. The sight a few hours ago was still fresh in her mind. Michiru was indeed in pain. She fears something as well as she wants another. What? She doesn't know. Michiru wouldn't answer her, not when she's still in a shock. Not when she couldn't stop crying. But she knew that time would pass and Michiru would tell her.

I hope…

"Jesi…" Michiru quietly spoke. Her lips were trembling as words came out of her. Jesi looked up and met the other girl's eyes. "Thank you…"

She wanted to say more. She wanted to have her burden lifted. So she can live without the pain anymore. With suffering from the pain love has brought her. Why? Why does love got to be that way? That it has to be painful? Why can't I damn forget it?!

Jesi nodded but she saw Michiru's troubled thoughts through her eyes. Waters begin to well-up again. The pianist stood and sat down beside Michiru. Holding her in an embrace. Letting her cry all that she could.

"Hush…" 

Michiru raised her head from Jesi's shoulder. Her eyes staring off in the emptiness of the room. "I… I'm sorry… Haruka…"

Pain was striking her inside. She slowly remembers her past. The years she had spent together with the blonde racer. When they were still happy. Trusting. Loyal. Perhaps, in love… 

Memories flashed back in her mind and clouded her thoughts. Haruka flirting. Making up to her. The candlelight dinners. Their concerts. Their house. Himme-chan. How they had lived peacefully and full of love. Their life as sailor soldiers and their battles together. Especially their fight with Eudial and the puppet master. Until she began to doubt about Haruka's feelings. When Haruka spend most of the day's time outside. Even if there were no practices. Coming home late at night, sometimes, when she was already asleep. Greeting her with just a peck on the cheek. Lying down, going to sleep. Like an individual. Like she doesn't exist beside her. 

She could remember the day she left their house. Haruka was begging her not to go. Who knelt in front of her just to make her realize that she's not bluffing. That she's sincere. About her love for Michiru.

Sky goddess…

She could remember the other's face during the scouts Christmas celebration in Usagi's house. How it lightened up when the mechanic appeared. How those teal eyes looked at her as id judging her. Asking her why is her expression so grave. So sad. She felt that Haruka doesn't know her. And never knew her. And intentionally hurt her. 

But she loved her… with all her heart. With everything that she has. 

Haruka…

"I'm so… sooorrry…" She continued to sob as the images of her vision coming back to her mind. Drowning her troubled soul over and over again.

"Haruka!" Minako's voice can be heard as she opened her communicator.

"Hey, what's up?" She was still in bed, groggy, for she hadn't had enough sleep the past few days. The nightmare has repeated itself over and over again inside her head. Yuki asked her the day before if there's anything that's bothering her, but she just kept it to her own. She knew the other wouldn't understand. That she gets these dreams about the future. That she will take part of the future, as one of the soldiers and trusted friends of the future queen.  

"Rei said she sensed another black energy coming and wanted us all down there."

There goes the good visionary. Oh well, Setsuna probably knew it, too. 

"Be there in twenty minutes." She clicked her communicator shut. 

Hope she doesn't wake up 'til I'm gone… 

Haruka scribbled a note and placed it on the bedside table. She looked at Yuki who was sleeping peacefully before bending to kiss the girl's forehead. It was already seven in the morning. Not a typical time for her to get up. She would like to stay in bed, but she knew that the priestess could be mean sometimes. Especially on occasions like this. When they would probably talk about the future. The dark vision. The approaching evil… and the battle.

The tires screeched as she came to a halt. Her bangs hanging were loosely hanging in front of her eyes as she stepped out of the car. Teal eyes were unusually dark. Maybe from her loss of sleep. She climbed up the stairs slowly, entering the shrine after she got to the top and went to the living room. Every one had gathered in a circle. 

"Good morning!" 

"Haruka!" Minako exclaimed as she saw the blonde. Haruka looked around and saw that not all senshi were awake. Usagi was sleeping on Mamoru's lap, Chibiusa and Hotaru were sleeping on the floor. Setsuna was the only one standing except for her. The others were just sitting, trying to fight off sleep from their eyes. It was obvious that Rei, Mamoru and Setsuna were the only ones fully awake. 

She looked at the senshi of time. Wondering if the older woman knew that this would happen. That something evil would happen again, even if the Silver Millenium has not been established yet. Her questions were answered by a simple nod. 

She understood. 

"What's the meeting for, Rei?" Minako asked. Her head propped by her right hand. 

"Yeah," Usagi raised her head from Mamoru's lap and tried to open her eyes. "I'm still sleepy. Can't you tell us that in a later time?" Mamoru chuckled and combed his girlfriend's hair. 

"This is important, Usagi!" Rei almost shouted. "I've sensed this evil a few days ago, but I wasn't certain at first, so I waited for it to develop. Just to prove that it's an evil energy. It's closing in on us. And the battle would soon start."

"We should be alert and be observant, then." Ami said as the others nodded in silence. Waiting for someone to speak up. 

"I cannot say anything about the future, you ALL know that," Setsuna defended. "But this new one is really strong, much more than what we have faced before. And…"

"And…??? Hell, what is it, Setsuna?!"

Should I tell it…? The whole team was now awake and was listening carefully to the time senshi. Waiting impatiently for the next words that would come out from her. Knowing that it would take place, sometime, someday. 

Setsuna looked at everybody. Everyone was yearning to hear what's next. She looked at each senshi and stopped when it was Haruka's gaze she met. Dropping her eyes, she sighed. 

I guess… it's better that she knew.

"And… Haruka… You wouldn't be with us." 

There, she said it. All the others looked at Haruka, then at Setsuna. They don't understand… As always. And I can't do anything about it…

"But why, Setsuna-mama?" Hotaru looked at her. Her eyes giving away the feeling of sadness. She couldn't understand. But Setsuna know that Hotaru will.  

Haruka looked at her, asking. 

"What the heck do you mean that I won't be there?" It was Haruka who asked. Her eyes becoming darker and darker. "You know very well that I will fight for the princess, whatever it may cost."

"Yes, we all know that. You and Neptune make a great team, but in this one, you won't be around to help us." Once again, she met those questioning eyes, now, not only from one, but from all of them. Waiting for her to explain what she said. "That is all I can say, Haruka. Please understand…" Haruka just looked down. Seeing that she couldn't do anything more there, Setsuna turned around and left for her post at the time gate.

"Let's call Michiru-mama!" Hotaru stood up and ran for the phone followed by Chibiusa. Dialing her mother's number quickly and impatiently waiting for the operator to connect the call. Finally, the phone rang. A sleepy voice of a woman greeted them. 

"Moshi-moshi! Can I please speak to Michiru-mama?" Jesi grumbled something about not understanding Japanese before she answered and called Michiru. 

The person called her Michiru-mama…

She looked at Michiru who happily talked on the phone. Maybe she already have a family. Jesi looked over at Michiru before going back to the couch. 

"Hello, Himme-chan! How are you?" Her voice sounded calm but she trembled slightly. Her eyes still has signs of tears. Jesi took her to the bedroom and let her rest. But she simply didn't find sleep. Not when her mind fails her. Not when her heart is aching so badly. 

"I miss you. When are you coming home?" She sounded like crying. All the senshi were watching the senshi of destruction and rebirth. All with a sad face. They knew already what's going to happen. 

"I…" she looked at Jesi who was busy watching tv. Or better yet, trying to divert her thoughts from Michiru by staring at the tv blankly. "Soon. I don't know the date yet but when I get to Japan, I'll stop by the house first. Okay?" 

"Promise?"

"Promise. Take care of yourself, Himme-chan. And the little princess, too." 

"Hai." There was now a smile on her lips. Michiru-mama would come home soon. She will be with us soon!

Michiru heard a silent click as she bid goodbye to her daughter. She went to the couch and joined Jesi who in turn moved so the aqua-haired woman can sit. Watching a comedy silently. 


	9. default chapter

Haruka stepped out of the shrine to get some fresh air. She wanted to forget what Setsuna had just said. Not that she doesn't believe it. But she doesn't want to look forward into the future battle. It will just hurt. She will never abandon the princess. The pain that she have kept from feeling. That she had locked in the deepest corner of her heart. 

She looked up. The sky was clear as it had been the day they celebrated the defeat of Galaxia. That very day that they walked down the beach, admiring the scenery and the peacefulness of the waters. The day when she finally spoke of her feelings for the smaller girl. She can still remember how Michiru's eyes turned dreamy as their gazes met. How she felt the other girl's arms encircle her body. Pulling her close. And the voice that said to her that she loved her, too. She can remember how Michiru's lips felt and tasted. And how happy she was that day. 

She vowed a never ending love.

She knew the risks, and the responsibilities. 

She took it.

She tried to fight her selfish desires.

Set down her lust.

Settle for just one.

Michiru…

She broke her promise. 

She destroyed their relationship.

She kept Michiru in the dark. 

Until secrets finally spilled out.

Her long nights out for work, spent with some other woman. 

She closed her eyes. Trying to keep the tears she had kept so long, from falling. She had loved Michiru. She knew that. She felt that. And she still does. Along with the pain of their separation. 

Michiru…

She had never been the same after Michiru left her. She knew she had deprived Michiru of rights that were rightfully hers. She knew she must suffer because of what she did. The same way she also knew that she should start anew. That she should make-up with the person she loved. Not to make her feel more deprived and insulted. But she failed. 

She went out with Yuki. 

The mechanic came into her life. Caring for her although not in the same way Michiru did. But she cherished it. Her heart had been empty and aching. Yuki came to fill it. And she grabbed the opportunity not to feel alone anymore.  

She knew she shouldn't have done that. She gave away the chance of getting back with half of her soul. But she gave in to something that she shouldn't have. Now, she's stuck. 

What will I do?

Michiru's face flashed in her mind. The way she looked at the racer with question in her eyes at the Christmas party. She knew it hurt. That she was hurting Michiru more and more by having Yuki there. Michiru's face told her that the sea senshi's feelings. That she have had something to say, but it wasn't important anymore. She felt that her mood changed. That she gave up.

She's coming back…

When?

I don't know.

What will you do?

I don't know.

What about Yuki?

I…

She hated to be in her position now. When everything was in a complete blur. When she has to decide about something. When she has to decide if she really love a person or not. Do I love her?

I…

I… I'm going to tell her…

I hope she understands…

"You're early." Yuki greeted her with a kiss as she entered their living room. "I thought there was a track practice. I was about to get ready to go there, and make sure everything's alright."

Haruka slumped on the couch. She must do it. 

"You don't have to, you know. I can detect any errors even if the race hasn't started." The blonde looked at her with a sheepish grin. The smile that most of her fans find attractive about her. 

"I know, hon." The blue-haired mechanic turned around to enter the kitchen. "I'm going to fix us something to eat. I'm sure you're starving." 

Haruka chuckled. She's a lot like Michiru. But in a way, she's a lot less than Michiru… She had always known that the sea senshi always had her heart no matter what happens between them. 

She searched for the remote and turned on the tv. With no intention to watch. Having only one thought in her mind. 

It's going to be tough. 

I just hope she'd understand…

I'm doing this for humanity.

"Michiru! The conductor's going to shout at us again!" Jesi hurriedly combed her hair and fixed it with gel. They have one more concert to give and they were already running late. They both had fun shopping the whole day and forgot about the time. Jesi already knew that Michiru would come home to Japan the day after the concert and offered her assistance in shopping for gifts. Michiru had told her about Hotaru and her addiction to lamps. They had searched almost all the shopping centers for one and it was almost evening when they reached home. With just a drop of things, both sped off to their rooms and changed. The concert is only 2 hours away and the conductor wants all his musicians to be there an hour before. Especially Michiru, who was going to give a solo for this last performance.

"Coming!" She stepped out of her room into the living room. Jesi stood awestruck as she faced the famous violinist. Wearing an elegant black evening dress adorned with beads on the seams. A sapphire hung from the white-gold necklace she was wearing. And her hair's wavy appearance was fully accentuated. She was a picture of perfection. 

But both of them knew that inside lie her true feelings. Her deep sadness…

She smiled at Jesi who managed to speak up "you're gorgeous" through the tightness of her throat. A giggle escaped her and Jesi scratched her head, giving her an odd look before laughing at herself. 

"But you really are beautiful! I wonder how many guys would ask you for a dance tonight at the party?" Jesi escorted her out of the apartment and into her car. 

"Arigato, but you know very well that I wouldn't be attending that one."

"I know. You never attended any!" Jesi laughed and started to drive. 

"And you did?" 

"Uh… I wanted to, but I was managed to be dragged by my beautiful tenant out of the party."

"Then, I ought to pay you! Maybe later when we get home."

"There's no need to, really! Your presence there is payment enough for me."

"Really?"

"Yes!" Jesi looked at her, then at the road to swerve from the parked car they were going to run into. Michiru smiled but didn't speak. Her eyes were focused on the road. They were already four blocks away from the theater. 

"Thank you, Jesi," Michiru said when they were already parking. The pianist looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Thank you for everything that you've done." 

"It's nothing, Michiru…" Jesi looked away from Michiru's eyes. "You made me happy during your stay here."

"Oh?"

"You didn't know it, but I actually enjoyed your stay."

"Thanks for your letting me stay at your place."

"Don't think about it…" The car already stopped but neither of them made a move. They just sat inside the car, with their eyes looking out. Both wondering what to say.

This is the last night she's staying…

Jesi looked at Michiru and savored the sight before her. This was the night before the violinist would leave for Japan. To go back home. And leave her…

"Michiru…" She said quietly. Michiru didn't look at her, but she knew that her voice was loud enough for the girl to hear it even though it was trembling. 

"Yes?" She was preoccupied watching the shooting star at the horizon. Wishing that someday everything would turn out right. Just the way their respective destinies should turn out to be. And that everyone would be happy. Even her. 

She saw hope sparkle in Michiru's eyes. Following her gaze, she saw the star. She realized the meaning. Michiru was wishing for someone. For that person she had left. Whom she truly loves. They had talked about Haruka when Michiru let her know that she was returning to Japan after their last performance. That was when she knew that she had no chance of ever getting the heart of the violinist. That Michiru will always love Haruka whatever happens. "Let's go, the conductor should be really pissed off by now." 

Michiru nodded in reply and Jesi got out. Opening the right side door, she escorted Michiru out of the car and into the building. Only leaving her when they reached the backstage. 

She knew nobody would change how Michiru feel. Nobody can dictate love. But nevertheless, she had already decided. She's going to tell her tomorrow. At the airport.

Michiru didn't get enough sleep that night. They arrived past midnight and she went straight to bed. The whole orchestra wouldn't let her go. They all knew she was going to return to Japan the next day and wanted to have her as a guest of honor. But Jesi let her escape and got themselves home to rest.

She laid back on her bed, covering herself with the blankets. She was already tired, and her eyes were already heavy that she fell asleep at once. Jesi turned off the lights on her bedside as she checked on tomorrow's traveler. Gently she closed the door and left for her own bed.

"Flight 1670, Tokyo. Please board gate 17B." The loudspeakers echoed all throughout the room. Jesi was arguing with the guard to let her pass and help her friend and that she doesn't have any weapons or any bad intentions. Michiru giggled at the sight before returning her gaze outside the big glass window until she heard Jesi's irritated voice behind her. 

"That guy's such a pain in the ass!" She flashed a smile at the violinist and carried the luggage that was left on the ground. Most of Michiru's things were already boarded in the plane except her handbag, the bag Jesi carried and her violin, which she didn't trust the crew with. "You should have made them load this one into the cargo, too! Man, this is heavy!"

"It's alright, Jesi. I can carry these two inside with a bag under my arms." She pointed at the bag and the violin case. Jesi just shook her head and continued to walk toward the gate. 

"Flight 1670, Tokyo." The stewardess assured her. Michiru nodded her head and gave her the ticket. 

"Thank you, Jesi, for everything. Most of all, for understanding." She turned around to face the pianist. Reaching out hand to grab the bag that the other was carrying. 

"I already told you, it's alright! Anything for you, Michiru!" Jesi didn't notice the hand that was already holding the strap of the bag she was carrying. She was too nervous to even speak. 

You have already decided. Tell HER!

I can't.

What do you mean, you can't? She's returning to Japan and god knows whether or not she's coming back again!

"Anything wrong?" Michiru bended a little to look at Jesi's face from the lower view.

"There's something I've got to tell you, Michiru…" Jesi was turning pale and Michiru looked at the stewardess who nodded in understanding. She would keep the gate open until the violinist came back. 

"What is it, Jesi? You can tell me anything, you know that don't you?" Michiru said while they were walking toward the seats. Jesi was leading, apparently hurrying to cover her trembling. She had never been this afraid. But she knew that Michiru would understand. She just have to tell it. She won't persuade the violinist to give something in return. She already accepted that Michiru will never belong to her. That she has a family waiting for her in Japan.

"Michiru… I…" Darn! I wish this is easy. She can't even look in Michiru's eyes. Always diverting her gaze whenever Michiru would look her way. 

"What is it?"

"Flight 1670, Tokyo. Please board gate 17B. The plane will be leaving in 15 minutes."

"I… I love you…" There! I said it. Jesi looked at Michiru who was taken by surprise. She suddenly became afraid that the violinist will get angry at her. But Michiru's face softened and a smile returned to her face.

"Thank you for telling me, Jesi. I've known it… But…"

"I know…"

"Nevertheless, you're a great friend! I love you for that… You'll always stay precious to me, remember that." Michiru took Jesi's face in her hands and made the pianist look at her. 

"Thanks…" She could hardly choke out any word. But she managed to give a meek smile.

"You're welcome. Now, get your hanky and dry those eyes. You'll find yourself somebody, Jesi. It's just not me. But maybe, somebody better."

"Yup! And she'll certainly be a beautiful one, too!" Jesi smirked at her own remark which made Michiru giggle. "Let's go, before the plane leaves you." She helped Michiru stand and walked her to the gate.

"You know, the plane will never leave somebody like me." Michiru whispered and nodded at the stewardess who smiled at her, opening the gate before announcing that the plane will already be going. "Hey, visit me, okay? And don't forget me!" Michiru smiled at Jesi before the gate closed.

"That spoiled brat…" But she knew Michiru doesn't look like one. She's much too kind to be one. She's just hurt and needed some comfort. And that she would do anything to fight for her love.

She's lucky…

"Rei! Hurry up!" Makoto shouted. They were preparing a welcome back party for Michiru before they would discuss the coming battle. They had already fought some youmas which are much stronger than those they have fought before. They had thought of training, but everybody else was busy with their personal lives when there's no fight and no senshi things to discuss about. 

"Alright, alright! I'm here! You don't have to shout. Father is not feeling too well." Rei stepped out of the house and met Makoto halfway. They were charged of cooking. Usagi first volunteered to help Makoto cook but all gave her a no-no which was followed by a cheeky laughter from each of the senshi. So, they just put her to set up decorations, hoping that she wouldn't be a fool around while making them. 

They had arrived at Usagi's place. They had agreed upon doing the party there since everybody else's place is a mess or a little less of space. Besides, Hotaru was always there and they know that Michiru's dropping by. 

"Everything needed is here. Thanks, Ami." Makoto nodded toward the water senshi and turned to Rei who was watching Usagi climb up the ladder and try to stick banners to the walls with Chibiusa running around with Hotaru chasing behind her. She wanted to see the drawing Chibiusa had done but she wouldn't let her. Not before Michiru arrived. 

"Are you going to help?" Makoto stood in front of Rei who was surprised to see the thunder sensi there blocking her view of their princess tries with the banners. Nodding, she turned her back and followed Makoto to the kitchen. 

"Hey, what song do you think is best to play?" Minako was fumbling with all of her and the others records. As usual, the senshi of love wanted to have karaoke singing which was practically always in the programme. "Hey, guys! What about this?" She pointed to one, placed it in the player and listened to rock music. 

"Stop it! Before you break somebody's eardrum!" Ami spoke between her glances from the book about crafts that Usagi used, and Minako who sulkingly replaced the tape with a cheerful one. 

"What are you doing, Hotaru?" Chibiusa stopped when she realized that her bestfriend was no longer chasing her but sitting in one corner, her hands seem to be very busy. 

"Uh… Nothing. Just a surprise I'm going to give to Michiru-mama!" She smiled happily at the thought that entered her mind. It was alike when she bought it, in a shop near her school. It was still early then and she didn't have anything to do so she decided to look around. When she saw the present that looked perfect for her Michiru-mama, she decided to buy it. 

"… What is it, Hotaru? Come on, tell me…!" 

"Not before Michiru-mama sees it!"

"Not fair!" Hotaru laughed as Chibiusa sat down beside her and pouted. She then examined the present in her mind. 

Hope she likes it… 

_____________

gomen ne… I can't seem to finish this story in one sitting as I thought when I posted that there was going to be only two chappies left… But promise that the story's gonna end soon.

Sorry for the delay in updating. I have a lot of things to do and I really lack on ideas. 

Hopefully, you'll keep on reading this stuff. 

~karui


End file.

Sailor Moon, Angst, Romance