Harry Potter 1. Chapter 1

**All Harry has are stories to replace a father's arms and a mother's kiss, stories of courage and kindness and loyalty and love. But before Harry, Lily Evans and James Potter were two ordinary kids in a magical school. Before Voldemort made them famous, they were two teenagers trying to figure out what sort of adult they wanted to be. ****Before they became legend, they were just two kids fighting and falling in love.**

* * *

Apparently the correct protocol was to smile and nod and serve tea and biscuits and try not to assassinate any of her sister's friends, so that's what Lily did. Only Petunia noticed that she was fingering her wand, dreamily imagining eleven bright yellow canaries panicking in their living room, and all Petunia could do was shoot her a glare.

_What?_ mouthed Lily.

_Don't you _dare_ pull any of your freak stuff_.

Lily rolled her eyes back, but she was slightly pleased. It was the first time Petunia had spoken to her since Marlene's owl had left a little present on Petunia's pillow a week ago. It wasn't Lily's fault owls were incontinent.

"Let me see the ring again," squealed Jamie Lane. "It's gorgeous, Petunia!"

"Isn't it?" said Marge smugly. "My brother doesn't skimp on his fiancée."

"Yes, Vernon's doing really well at work," said Petunia, almost simpering. "I'm so proud of him."

_Please don't let Petunia get any worse_, thought Lily, sending out a silent prayer to any patron saint who happened to be wandering around engagement parties. _The whale is ruining her. After they're married he'll squash her in her sleep one night and I'll be short one sister. At least she seems happy._

"Have you started planning the wedding?" asked some girl whose name Lily had already forgotten.

"I've been looking around for dresses already. It has to be perfect. I think the dress is the most important thing, even including the flowers."

"We're running out of biscuits," said Marge to Lily, the first words she'd spoken to Lily all day before turning back to Petunia. "Has Vernon said anything about the honeymoon?"

"Honeymoon!" Lynn Turner leapt up and down. "Somewhere tropical, maybe? The Bahamas, or Maldives?"

_Remember, no setting their petticoats on fire … not that they wear petticoats. What about a little smoulder? Maybe Marge, I should make her eyelashes itch ... if she mentions either Vernon's business or her stupid dog one more time, I'm going to …_

Screams broke into Lily's benevolent thoughts.

"Lily!" shrieked Petunia. "Get rid of that filthy thing!"

"Oh right!" Lily leapt up. She'd been so busy with the preparations for Petunia's engagement party that she'd completely forgotten it was the same day that Hogwarts sent its annual letter. "Sorry!"

The owl swooped around before making a beeline for Lily. Nearly dropping the teapot in her haste to get magical stuff away from her sister's Muggle friends, Lily made a dash for the kitchen. The owl caught up easily, dropping the letter on her head as their mother was pulling out a batch of biscuits from the oven.

"I forgot," said Lily in response to her mother's reproachful look. "Mum, I just forgot, all right? Petunia's been talking at me for a week, reminding me without ever actually speaking to me about how she wants her tea settings and how many types of biscuits and all that stuff!"

"Maybe she should have said something about owls being banned from her party," said her mother, shaking her head.

"… on earth was that? And was it carrying a _letter?_" came Jamie's dulcet tones.

"It's my sister's … pet owl," said Petunia feebly. "She … she trains it to bring her stuff. It's weird."

"It's very weird," said Marge. "But you can't help who you're related to."

"No you can't," muttered Lily.

"How much are the books this year, Lils?"

"It doesn't say, it never says." Lily riffled through the letter. Surely it'd be here …

"Something fell out." Anna pointed.

Lily froze. "Where?"

"Just by your foot."

Lily took one look and leapt into the air. "I got it!"

"Got what?" Anna came over and picked it up. "What's this – Head Girl? Oh Lily, you're Head Girl? I'm so proud of you!"

"I am, I am!" Lily flung her arms around her mum. "I've been wanting this for years, I'm Head Girl!"

"What's going on?" said her dad, coming in.

"Lily's Head Girl!"

"Mum, could you please keep it down in here?" said Petunia from the doorway.

"Your sister just got excellent news!" Anna beckoned her over, pulling Petunia into a hug. "Aren't you proud of her?"

"Tuney, I'm Head Girl!" yelled Lily. "I did it, I'm Head Girl!"

"Really?"

"Yes, look!" Lily waved her badge at her.

"Congrats," said Petunia a little stiffly. "Can you celebrate later? You're ruining my party."

"Right, sorry." Petunia's reaction took the shine off a little, but Lily was used to that.

"Thanks."

"Don't be such a wet blanket, Tuney my tulip," said Peter, pulling her into the group hug. "You should be happy for your sister."

"Dad, you're messing my hair!"

"Oops, sorry."

Petunia extricated herself. "Just keep it down."

"Sweetheart, would a few minutes kill you? Let's break out the champagne."

"That's great, Mum, but I'm having a party, remember?" said Petunia, smiling through tightly compressed lips.

"And here's the letter from Dumbledore," said Lily gleefully, dropping the booklist on the floor.

"Let me see it," said Anna, practically snatching it from her. "There, that's your name. Lily Evans, right there! Hardworking, dedicated, good rapport with your peers – Lily, honey! And it says … Lily, isn't James Potter the boy you've been complaining about for the past six years?"

That name was about the only thing that could pierce through her euphoria. Lily froze in the middle of hugging her father and jumping up and down. "What did you say?" she said cautiously.

"It says the Head Boy is James Potter." Her mother held it out. "There."

Numbly, Lily took the letter. The words sprang out at her. _Your partner will be James Potter, who has been chosen to be Head Boy. Despite certain personal issues, I hope that both of you will be able to put them aside to work with each other and do the best you can for Hogwarts. I have faith that …_

_Your partner will be James Potter, who has been chosen to be Head Boy._

_Your partner will be James Potter._

_James Potter._

_Potter._

"Excuse me," said Lily politely. She went upstairs to her room, closed the door, and picked up her pillow. Then she screamed into it.

In the living room, Petunia's friends stared up the staircase in the direction the muffled sounds were coming from. Then they turned back to her.

"Sorry," said Petunia weakly. "She's a nutcase."

* * *

After the party was over, her mother came up. "How's my baby girl doing?"

"Mum," Lily groaned. "This is what I've wanted for years but why does it have to come with strings attached? Why!"

"Yes, okay, now stop thinking about yourself. Go make nice with Petunia."

Lily tossed her pillow in the air and kept it hovering with her wand. "What's got her goat now?"

"Maybe it's because your owl interrupted her party. You know how much her party means to her. And she's worried that someone will think we're an abnormal family."

"She's not so much worried as she is paranoid."

"Whatever it is, you need to respect her feelings."

"She doesn't respect mine."

"March, Lily Margaret."

Lily let the pillow drop and marched.

* * *

"Hey," she said.

Petunia ignored her, drying the tea set and neatly putting them away.

"Tuney, I'm sorry, okay? I forgot the owl was supposed to come today, I should have made sure it went straight to my room but I was worried about place settings and napkins. For _your_ party! It's because I was trying to make sure your party went well –"

"It's not about the owl, okay?" snapped Petunia, wheeling around. "Just leave me alone."

"Petunia, come on. Please. I'm going to be leaving soon, and you're getting married – I don't want us to be like this for the rest of our lives. We're sisters."

"Go away, freak."

Lily promptly lost her temper. "Stop calling me freak!"

"Then stop acting like one!"

"Why are you always throwing your temper? It was one minute, _one minute_, Petunia! The rest of the time your party was just fine, everyone swooned over your stupid ring –"

"It's not about the owl, Lily!"

"Then what? Tell me, because I'm apparently too dumb to understand!"

"You stole my limelight!"

Lily blinked. "What?"

"Today was my big day," said Petunia, and Lily suddenly realised that her older sister was close to tears. "It's my engagement party. And in the middle of it I go to the kitchen, and Mum and Dad are celebrating the fact that you're Head Girl. And they're so awfully proud of you."

"Tuney," said Lily. "I – they're proud of you too –"

"Really?" said Petunia. "Ever since that old man showed up at our door to explain what Hogwarts was, it's always been Lily this, Lily that in this house. Well guess what? I'm going to have my own house now, my own home, and there won't be any _Lily_ in it!"

Lily felt like she'd been slapped. "Don't say that," she whispered. "Tuney, please. Don't – don't say that. Mum and Dad love you too, they're so proud and happy that you've found Vernon –"

Petunia laughed, brittle, the sheen of tears gone. "Don't do that, Lily. You make me sick. I've heard you making fun of Vernon behind my back, talking to Mum. And she laughed too because you made it sound so funny. You've always been the witty one, the smart one, and I've done nothing but get engaged. But you know what? You can crack all your funny, funny jokes about Vernon, but I love him. I _love_ him, Lily. Because he loves me. And sometimes it feels like he's the only one in the world who does."

"That's not true."

Petunia dropped the dishcloth on the counter. "Whatever you say, Lily. You're the smart one, you must be right."

"Tuney," said Lily.

Her sister looked at her for a long moment. Her face worked like she was going to cry, but she walked out.

Lily stared after her, tears running down her cheeks.

* * *

**preview of next chapter:**

"Why not?" demanded James in a bewildering change of attitude. "I haven't been that bad. Not since sixth year, at least."

"Gideon Prewett…" said Sirius in a sing-song voice.

"At least not in the last half of it."

"Stephanie Suuuuummers…"

"Okay, not in the last three months–"

"Fliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitwick…"

"Not in the last fortnight, then!" said James in desperation.

"Frank Longbottooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-"

James threw his plate at Sirius, who ducked. "You did that!"

"You thought of it!"

"You _did_ it!"

"It's the thought that counts," said Sirius, maddeningly philosophical.


	2. Chapter 2

**And now James. This chapter is long, but there was no way to break it up. I'd rather have James already appear in the first chapter, but then the chapter would be way too long.**

* * *

James sat alone in the Prefects' carriage, staring glumly out the window. Head Boy. _Head Boy._ His mother's delighted scream still rang in his ears, but his father had cocked an eyebrow. "Head Boy? You, James? How old is Dumbledore again?"

"How could he do this to me?" he had demanded indignantly. "I'm not even a prefect!"

"He sees your potential, of course," said his mother fondly. "Oh, James. I'm so proud."

"Well I'm not."

"It's an honour to be Head!"

"Not for me," he said, dropping the badge on the kitchen table. The thunk it made sounded depressingly final, like a prison gate slamming shut. "Half the school will think I snogged Dumbledore or something to get it."

"Aw, is ickle Prongsie upset?" inquired Sirius.

"Shut up."

"This's the best prank ever," said Sirius, a truly evil grin spreading across his face. "And we thought we were bad? Dumbledore's just pulled the best one ever. Wish I could have seen Lily's face when she got her letter."

"I have this theory that Dumbledore thought the only way to make James behave is to make him Head," said Irving. "There's no other explanation for it."

"Why not?" demanded James in a bewildering change of attitude. "I haven't been that bad. Not since sixth year, at least."

"Gideon Prewett…" said Sirius in a sing-song voice.

"At least not in the last half of it."

"Stephanie Suuuuummers…"

"Okay, not in the last three months–"

"Fliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitwick…"

"Not in the last fortnight, then!" said James in desperation.

"Frank Longbottooooooooooooooooooooooooooo-"

James threw his plate at Sirius, who ducked. "You did that!"

"You thought of it!"

"You _did_ it!"

"It's the thought that counts," said Sirius, maddeningly philosophical.

"James, clean up that mess. By hand," ordered Martha.

"This year is starting out just beautiful," said James under his breath. "Mum, remind me again why we don't have a house-elf?"

"Because your paternal grandfather donated him to Hogwarts."

"Because we had you," said Irving.

"And that's why I have my widdle baby Padfoot. Clean it up, scum."

"Mrs Potter!"

"Just ignore him, Sirius," said Martha.

"That's it." James threw the dishcloth at his smirking friend. "I'm moving out, you can adopt Sirius and be done with it. See you all next decade."

"But you're Head Boy!" said Sirius with false concern. "Where would Dumbledore be without his widdle right hand man?"

James groaned. "How long are you going to keep this up for?"

"Don't be silly," said Martha. "You'll do fine. I'm sure Dumbledore has his reasons."

"Or Dumbledore _had_ his _reason_," interjected Sirius. "Absolutely batty, Dumbledore can be."

"Can you picture _me_ trying to tell people to stop hexing others?" said James despairingly. "Why would they listen to me?"

"Because you'll put them in detention if they don't," said Martha placidly.

"Stop being a drama queen," said Irving less understandingly, but he ruffled James' hair. "You'll do just fine. I'm proud of you, son."

Martha beamed. "James, Head Boy!"

_James, Head Boy_. The words echoed in his ears, and it took him a moment to realise that he had caught the tail end of a conversation as the door to the compartment slid open.

Marlene grinned at him from outside. "Well, well, if it isn't the Head himself."

"Marlene," he said stiffly.

"I'll leave you two to it," she said, barely repressing her glee. "See you later, Lils."

Lily, James thought as he often had, was immensely pretty. Her green eyes fascinated him, as did her dark red hair. He had never seen anyone with that precise shade of red. Or green. Like Christmas with personality and knockers. Pretty Lily. Except her lips were tightly compressed and her bright green eyes were hard as she stepped inside and closed the door.

His mood took a sudden turn for the better. "Evans," he said cheerfully.

"Potter," she said curtly, taking a seat opposite him. For a moment they just stared at each other.

"Hi," he said blithely. "Guess who's Head?"

"_Don't_, Potter. I'm warning you."

"Why are you so mad at me? I didn't ask for this."

"No, you had it handed to you on a platter. Just like everything else."

"Hey, I train for Quidditch."

"Talk to someone who cares." Lily pulled out a sheaf of papers. "Did you bring yours?"

James squinted at the topmost paper. "What's that, exactly?"

"The list of duties we have," said Lily coldly.

"Right, that. Thought it looked familiar. I'm pretty sure I have it somewhere. That is, if Peter didn't accidentally wipe his nose on it or use it to light the fire. He did that with my Potions notes once. The fire, I mean. The snot-rag was Sirius's Transfiguration essay. Should have seen Sirius's face. And Peter's boils."

James was joking, of course. It was in his pocket, but he couldn't resist winding Lily up. A little too late, he realised that he had overdone it as she turned red.

"If you can't even keep track of a few pieces of paper, how do you expect –" she began loudly.

"Hold up!" he protested, extracting it from his robes. "I have it. Merlin, Evans, can't you take a joke?"

"Is everything a joke to you?"

"Getting nagged isn't," he said, unable to stop himself. Lily seemed to swell.

"_Potter!_"

"Okay, okay, don't get your knickers in a twist!" he said hurriedly. "I'm serious now. What do you want to discuss?"

"You ought to have some idea," she shot at him.

"Easy, isn't it? Just tell which pairs to patrol when and where, and we're done."

"It's more than that," said Lily, looking as though she were restraining herself from rolling her eyes with great difficulty. "This is the first meeting we're having with them, and it's probably going to set the tone for the whole year. We need them to understand what direction we're going to go in, that we'll be able to lead them, how we're going to work together..."

James raised his hand like he was sitting in class. "Question."

"What?" she snapped.

"Was that English?"

"POTTER, IF YOU DON'T SOBER UP THIS INSTANT I SWEAR I'LL GO TO DUMBLEDORE AND MAKE SURE ONLY ONE OF US STAYS HEAD AND RIGHT NOW I DON'T CARE WHO IT'LL BE!"

"Okay, okay!" James swallowed his grin. He'd missed her, he really had, and seeing her again made him absurdly happy. All that exuberance had to go somewhere, and unfortunately taking the mickey out of her presented itself as a convenient outlet. "Direction, right. Exactly where will we be going?"

Lily was still breathing hard and glaring at him. "Obviously different Heads have different styles," she said. "Take previous Heads for instance – Caradoc Dearborn was more strict, Sally Wood built up a really good rapport with the other students. We need to find a common style so we can present a united front. Although," she added snarkily, "I think for now we needn't bother about working together and focus instead on my not strangling you."

"Also on anger management," he said, sotto voce.

Her eyes were green slits. "Excuse me?"

"Nothing."

She took a deep breath. "Look, Potter. We need to … to get over ourselves, think beyond ourselves. I want to do a good job. Not just for me, but for the school, for Dumbledore. I'm trying to work with what I have, but you're making it extremely difficult. Can you please just grow up? We have to do this right."

"Yeah." He nodded. "I understand. And I'll try, I really will. Promise."

She looked at him doubtfully. "Okay."

"But you have to give me time," he added.

Lily groaned. "Potter, we need to cooperate, and I can't do that if I'm fighting the urge to jinx you silly. And we have to show the prefects that we're working well together!"

"So snog me!" exclaimed James, flinging his arms wide. "They'll know _exactly_ how well we work together then!"

Naturally, it was at that point in time the door slid open. Fabian Prewett stopped short in his tracks. "Um, is this a bad time?"

Good thing Lily wasn't like that bloke in the Muggle comic Sirius had nicked off Sean Thomas1 once, thought James interestedly. If she could shoot lasers out of her eyes, he'd probably have FILTHY FATHEAD or STUCK-UP PRAT carved into his forehead, or maybe something nicer, more personalised like DIE POTTER DIE.

"No, it's a fantastic time," said Lily, who had evidently vowed not to shout at her _partner_ in front of other people. "Come in and take a seat. We'll get started soon once the train gets underway and everyone's here."

"Right," said Fabian as he entered. Behind him, a line of prefects filed in. Most of them looked amused.

"Okay," said Lily, moving to take a seat next to James. She smiled at them. James liked how she could be furious with him but discard all that to do what she thought ought to be done, like smiling at a bunch of people who didn't need cheering up anyway. Sweet but misguided, in his opinion.

"Hi, James, Lily," said Remus, grinning.

James grinned back while Lily waved. That was another thing he liked. Now he and Lily were a team, one step closer to James-and-Lily. Maybe there were perks to this Head Boy thing after all.

"Hi, everyone," said Lily. "We're missing Damian Perriss and Gemma Clearwater, so we'll just give them a moment. Everyone got their things settled?"

There was a chorus of yeses.

"Great," said Lily. "Take a break, catch up with the others. We'll give them five minutes."

Alex Macmillan leant over David Boorman to chat to Sylvia Westrup, breaking the silence, and the hum of voices began to fill the compartment. James clearly saw Tessa Flinton nudge Sarah Bones, and both glanced at him. When they saw him staring at them suspiciously, they suppressed a giggle and looked away hastily.

Lily, of course, was looking down at her precious papers and missed all this. The babble of voices grew louder as the prefects relaxed. The train whistle sounded, and the familiar hum of the engine declared that a new school year had begun as they pulled out of platform nine and three-quarters.

"How's things going?" said Remus in an undertone.

"Brilliant. We're getting married next week, you're invited."

Remus rolled his eyes. "The Head Boy gig, idiot. I'm done trying to keep up with your latest unsuccessful attempts to get into Lily's knickers."

"Hey, I want more than that!" said James, injured. "I wouldn't mind her above-the-waist unmentionables too."

"Merlin," groaned Remus. "_Are_ you planning to take anything seriously at all this year?"

"Not until I have to," said James frankly. "Do you do this all the time, Moony? Your life would be so boring without us."

"The phrase you're looking for is less stressful," retorted Remus, but he laughed. "Padfoot's feeling a bit gloomy, I think. He keeps grumbling about how one good boy was more than enough for any gang."

The door opened, and Gemma and Damian hurried in. "Sorry, sorry," said Gemma a bit breathlessly. "We got, er –"

"Caught up," supplied Damian, grinning. David Boorman snorted, and Gemma swatted Damian on the arm.

"Easy there," said Lily, but the corners of her mouth quirked up as she stood. "Keep your hands off him for a while, Gemma, and take a seat. Now. This is a new school year, and I hope that we'll be able to work together as a team to ensure the safety and well-being of the rest of the school. I know there has been past enmity between the Houses," David Boorman shot her a sharp look, and Simon Dedworth glanced grudgingly at Nicolas Grimmett, "but we need to put that behind us for the good of Hogwarts."

"Done with the speech, Evans?" drawled Ivan Renshaw.

"Watch your tone," said James sharply. "Evans can prattle on as long as she wants."

"_Prattle_?"

"I mean-"

"This is sweet, really, but can we just get our schedules and be done here?" said Renshaw.

"You'll stay here as long as you're required to, Renshaw," said Lily evenly. "I meant what I said. It's important that we discard our prejudices, including those of say, Gryffindor against Slytherin."

"And the other way around too," said James, glaring at Renshaw.

Lily shot him an exasperated look. "Yes, and the other way around too. That includes any interpersonal issues between any of us. To prove my point, I'll even be civil to Potter."

James frowned. She smiled at him sweetly. "Anything to add, Head Boy?"

Next to him, Remus stifled a traitorous laugh. All eyes were on him, and for the first time in his life, James felt a bit uncomfortable with that. He hadn't thought to prepare a pretty little speech. It was just a first meeting, they were still on the _train_, blast Merlin's baggy knickers!

Standing up, he cleared his throat. "Right," he began. "So. Let's just all be … good people this year. And not abuse our power. And be, er, brave enough to reprimand those who need it, without showing favouritism or whatever. And, um, not hex people. Prewett, stop smirking at me."

"I'm wounded, James," said Fabian, mock-clutching at his heart. "I was smiling in appreciation of your wise words."

Tessa Flinton and Gemma Clearwater giggled, and Eric Murley laughed outright. Cyril Meakin continued to glower; he had made no secret of the fact that he had been confident of being appointed Head.

Lily was smirking, evidently revelling in how his past misdeeds were coming back to bite him in the rear. James gritted his teeth, wondering how long it would be before either people got tired of the jokes or he tried to assassinate Dumbledore.

"Look, I know I haven't exactly been a model of good behaviour," he said loudly. Ignoring Cyril Meakin's muttered, "No kidding," he continued, "But that's in the past. I _am_ Head, and that means you sorry lot have to listen to me. So stop with the snide jokes and do your job properly, or I'll –"

Whatever he was going to say next and whether it included mentions of delicate portions of the human anatomy, James never could be sure. Thankfully it wasn't needed, for just then there was a massive trumpet blast, accompanied by shrieks from a compartment full of first years next door.

"What on earth?" exclaimed Lily.

"ATTENTION EVERYONE!" bawled a tinny voice. "ANNOUNCING OUR NEW HEADS, LILY EVANS AND JAMES POTTER! YES, THAT'S RIGHT, POTTER!"

Remus gave up trying not to laugh. Throwing him a filthy look, James fought his way through the prefects to get to the door.

What he saw confirmed his worst fears. Heads were popping out from every compartment; Sirius was marching down the corridor towards him with a giant trumpet on his shoulder. A weird strangled sound issued from the trumpet. Without turning around, Sirius yelled, "Again, Wormtail! And stop trying to breathe through it!" and threw James a wink.

Scuttling in his wake, Peter put his lips to the mouthpiece and blew again.

"YES, BLOKES AND BIRDS, POTTER! YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, YOU BETTER NOT CRY, YOU BETTER NOT POUT, I'M TELLING YOU WHY!"

"Sirius!" shouted James over the laughter. "Stop it this instant!"

"'CAUSE POTTER BOY IS RULING HOGWARTS!"

"Wormtail, ENOUGH!"

Peter fell back, a little out of breath. "Sorry," he gasped. "Padfoot told me to…"

"If you want something done, you've got to do it yourself," said Sirius philosophically, never breaking stride.

"I'm warning you, Sirius!"

In the window opposite, James caught sight of Lily's reflection. Her expression was positively beatific, her thoughts clear as a bell. _See how it feels like?_

Hoisting the trumpet back down off his shoulder, Sirius blew the trumpet himself as he went past James.

"HE'S MAKING A LIST, CHECKING IT TWICE, GONNA FIND OUT WHO'S NAUGHTY, WHO'S NICE, JAMES POTTER IS RULING HOGWAAAAAAAA-"

A strident squawk made everyone flinch and cover their ears. Sirius tripped and fell, dropping the trumpet with a loud crash. Clapping one hand to his backside, Sirius rolled over and sat up.

"James!" he exclaimed, real shock in his voice.

"I warned you," said James, not moving to put his wand away after hitting Sirius with a Stinging Hex. "Now put that thing away and get back into your compartment. All of you!" he roared. "Next person who makes loud noises in the corridor will get jinxed or thrown off the train!"

"Potter!"

"Oh shut it, Evans," he said, having reached the end of his patience. "I said get back inside!" he added fiercely to the first years next door. Looking frightened, they scurried back into the safety of their compartment. All the other heads sticking into the corridor were hastily withdrawn.

James banged the door shut behind him, took up his former position next to Lily, and folded his arms.

The compartment was quiet. Even Renshaw contented himself with sniggering under his breath, but Remus, Tessa, and Damian were openly grinning, and Fabian was rocking back and forth in silent laughter.

"You were saying?" he said pointedly to Lily, whose lips were one thin line.

"I wasn't. You were giving your little pep talk," she said, giving him a dirty look. "Anyway, let's get down to business. Obviously patrolling is needed urgently, judging from what we've just seen. I've divided the journey into different slots, so everyone can pick two–"

"Never mind that," interrupted James, pulling out a piece of paper and tossing it on the table. "I drew up a timetable already. You lot get your noses over here and take down your times. Any questions?"

"Yes." Cyril Meakin folded his arms. "Are you going to be like this all year?"

"We're still on the train," said James, returning his stare. "You don't have any commitments or homework besides sleeping or stuffing your face, so deal with it. You'll get to have your say when we reach Hogwarts and we're talking proper patrolling of the corridors and all that stuff."

"He's right," said Lily, although everyone could hear her irritation. "This will work just as well. It'll save time, especially since some of us are so eager to get back to our own compartments. Remember, no magic is allowed in the corridors. You can hand out punishments if necessary but _strictly_ no jinxes."

"Fine," muttered Cyril. "Let's just get this over with."

"Fifth year prefects, you're to lead the first years to your respective house dormitories after the feast," added Lily, something James had completely forgotten about. "Don't forget to explain the password system, and make sure that they know how to find their common room again. Do your best to make them feel at home; remember how you felt when you first got here yourselves."

A few murmured assent, others nodded acknowledgment. One by one, the prefects noted down their slots and left. Remus was the last, and he clapped James on the shoulder. "Take it easy," he said. "Being Head really means a lot to her."

James nodded gloomily, and Remus went out. Warily, he turned to face Lily. Her eyes were snapping, and her hair managed to seem even redder than usual.

"Would you kindly explain yourself?" she said in a tone of forced calm.

"I saw a prat, I dealt with the prat, then I came back in and settled the schedule?"

"Potter, you can't jinx people as a punishment! That's against the rules! How are you supposed to tell others to keep the rules if you don't follow them yourself?"

"I _know_," he groaned. "Merlin, being Head sucks."

"Don't you dare," she said heatedly. "You said it yourself, you _are_ Head, so _be_ Head. And don't walk over me like that in front of the others again, do you hear? I didn't want to argue with you in front of them so I let it slide this once, but let's get this straight. We don't do anything without making sure the other agrees with it, otherwise we'll wind up yelling in front of them, and that's hardly setting a good example if we want them to get over the interhouse rivalries."

By this time, James was in no good humour himself. "Yeah, fine."

Lily huffed, but surprisingly didn't say anything more on that topic, for which he was truly thankful. "When we reach Hogwarts, we need to check through all the compartments to make sure nothing and nobody has been left behind. They'll keep a last carriage waiting for us."

"Fine," he repeated. "Can I go now?"

"You're supposed to know this yourself. Stop acting like I'm making you do this – it's your responsibility too!"

"I did know it. Just because I don't spout off about it –"

"Excuse me?" Lily's voice rose in outrage. "I'm just making sure you remember it!"

Right then, all James wanted to do was find the rest of the Marauders and flop around for the rest of the journey. "All right, I take that back. Thank you for the reminder. Shall we leave now?"

"Git," she muttered, and pushed past him to leave.

James made a sound of aggravation and followed her out.

* * *

**preview:**

**"We wait for everyone else to clear out…"**

**"Ooh, alone time," interjected Sirius.**

**"…and check all the compartments," she said more loudly. "Remus, please remove your friend from the train and make sure he's got all his warts with him."**

**"You really should be more polite about Peter," said Sirius reproachfully. "He's so much more than a wart to me."**


	3. Chapter 3

**Dudes and dudettes, reviews mean a lot to us poor writers. Hit me up? On the off chance this actually works. Or alternatively here's a chance to complain at me about what I should do better. Go.**

* * *

He finally found the compartment where Remus, Sirius and Peter were. Throwing himself down, he closed his eyes. "Quiet," he mumbled. "Do you hear that? That's the sound of quiet. It's a beautiful sound."

"That's because Padfoot is sulking," said Remus.

"Merlin's pants. Come on, Padfoot, that's the last thing I need right now."

"What the hell's the matter with you, Prongs?" demanded Sirius, aggrieved. "Now you're Head Boy, you've lost your sense of humour? Where's it, doing the tango with Lily's?"

"I'm supposed to uphold the rules! I couldn't just let you carry on disrupting everyone."

"Rules, schmules," scoffed Sirius. "I can't believe I'm hearing you say this."

"Well I am. Padfoot, give me a break, it's my first day on the job and already Evans is mad at me. Plus what on earth did you bewitch that trumpet to say, anyway?"

"None of your business," said Sirius sniffily.

Remus suddenly laughed. "Padfoot, stop acting like an old woman. And Prongs – are you listening to yourself?"

"What?"

"'I'm supposed to uphold the rules!'" mimicked Sirius.

James stared at him, then exploded in laughter. "You're right," he choked. "What's happening to me?"

The other three lapsed into gales of laughter, and everything was all right again.

"Go on, Padfoot," said James, wiping tears from his eyes. "What else does that daft thing say?"

"Keep it soft," cautioned Remus.

"Wish somebody would invent silencing charms for rooms," said Peter.

"You've only said that roughly forty-three times in the past six years," said James. "Make it small, that should be good enough."

"Like I didn't know." Sirius produced the now miniscule trumpet from his pocket. "_Engorgio_."

The golden trumpet grew a little, just large enough for Sirius to blow through the mouthpiece. He put it to his lips, and the other three gathered around closely.

"Big boss Potter coming through!" shrieked the trumpet in a tiny voice. "Make way for Head Potty! Be nice to him or face the terror of a thousand detentions! Bribes in the form of Firewhiskey may be deposited behind the statue of the three-eared goblin!"

The Marauders collapsed in laughter once more.

* * *

In another compartment, Lily was ranting to Marlene and Alice.

"And then he jinxes Sirius! After that, he comes in and orders everyone to follow his schedule without complaining. What kind of footing are we starting off on? How are we supposed to command respect if he threatens to throw first years off the train?"

"They'd have to be really thick to believe him," said Alice soothingly.

"But the way he ordered the prefects around is going to set their backs up!"

"Dry up, Lily," interrupted Marlene. "It's only the first day back, there's no need to pitch a wobbly. And actually, we're not even back yet. We're not even back yet!"

She glared at her friend. "I'm feeling so much pressure now and that's all you have for me? _You_ face the prospect of making up for every one of Potter's mistakes for a whole year, then tell me how relaxed you are!"

"Lily," said Marlene. She leant forward until she was inches away. "Want to hear a secret?"

"What?" Lily said crossly.

"You're being an idiot." Marlene smiled amiably. "Just thought you might like to know."

Lily wasn't about to give up her grievances so easily. "I have reasons for being so stressed up. _Good_ reasons."

"Yes, but lighten up for a moment! Breathe the last free air you'll have for the rest of the year! James will straighten up, I promise."

"She's right," Alice said. "He was picked for a reason, Dumbledore wouldn't have chosen him just to annoy you. Give him a bit of time, and stop being so pessimistic."

"Roar, roar," added Marlene, grinning, and threw Lily a Chocolate Frog.

"You look ridiculous when you roll your eyes while you're trying not to smile," observed Alice.

Lily gave in and laughed.

* * *

The chatter and noise of hundreds of students bustling around filled the train. Lily surveyed the scene in a little dismay. She had forgotten to remind the prefects to try to make the arrival a little less chaotic than previous years'.

"'Smatter, Lils?" asked Marlene.

"I forgot to at least try to organise this better."

Marlene rolled her eyes. "Nobody cares. We're just moving from point A to point B. As long as everyone and their toad gets there in one piece, it works. Stop trying to be perfect."

Lily gave her a withering look.

"I'm good for you, and you know it," Marlene said cheerfully in reply.

"She knows it," confirmed Alice, struggling out of their compartment with her trunk. "She just doesn't like admitting it."

Lily flung up her hands. "If you're done psychoanalysing me…"

"…we can move on to the bit where Potter asks Evans out again," interrupted a voice from behind her.

Glowering, Lily refused to turn around. Unfortunately, she happened to catch the eye of a small first year boy who scurried away, looking terrified.

This did not improve her mood.

"So where shall we go, Evans? The Three Broomsticks? Honeydukes? Or are you more of a," James shuddered, "Madam Puddifoot's kind of girl?"

"That's funny, I thought you were a trophy-room-detention kind of boy," Lily said sweetly.

"Touché," said Sirius, arriving.

"Hi, Lily, Alice, Marlene," said Remus.

"Marlene, _darling_!" exclaimed Sirius. "And Alice, dear sweet Merlin, you've such a beautiful tan."

"Stay away from her, Black," said Frank as he squeezed through to them.

Grudgingly, Lily turned around as Peter too arrived and greetings were exchanged all around.

"Well?" said James expectantly. She chose to interpret that according to what she wanted to hear.

"We wait for everyone else to clear out…"

"Ooh, alone time," interjected Sirius.

"…and check all the compartments," she said more loudly. "Remus, please remove your friend from the train and make sure he's got all his warts with him."

"You really should be more polite about Peter," said Sirius reproachfully. "He's so much more than a wart to me."

Peter turned red as everyone laughed.

"Get a move on, you lot," James said, giving Sirius a shove towards the exit. "I'll see you up at the castle."

"Be professional, James," said Remus, smiling.

"Yeah, be _professional_," said Marlene slyly. "Don't pay him more than a Knut a snog, Lily."

"Marlene. Go. Away."

"I'm worth more than Knuts!" yelled James after their friends' retreating backs.

Lily didn't dignify him with a glance, re-entering her compartment to wait until the train emptied. Unfortunately, James took this as an invitation to follow her in.

"How's life, Evans?"

"It went downhill a couple of minutes ago."

He sat down. "Are we going to do this fencing for the rest of the year?"

"Are you going to be this annoying for the rest of the year?"

"Possibly. Are you going to be this easy to annoy?"

"Potter, get out of my compartment!"

He held up his hands. "All right, truce. I just wanted to say you're right, we ought to work on cooperating with each other. And – well – you've done pretty well so far. I'm really going to have my work cut out for me this year, trying to keep up with you."

She stared at him suspiciously. "What are you trying to say?"

James rumpled his hair a little self-consciously. "What I said. Was that so difficult to understand?"

"So … you mean you'll work hard to not be a complete prat this year?"

"Not exactly … but yes, that's the gist of it," he added hastily. "Honestly. And that you've really done well. Dumbledore was right to pick you."

"Thanks," she said doubtfully.

He shrugged. They sat in silence for a little while as the noise slowly died down.

"Seriously though, Evans."

"What?" She was pulling down her trunk from the luggage rack above.

"Three Broomsticks good for you?"

* * *

It was so hard to resist needling Lily, James thought, a little dismayed even as her expression made him laugh.

"As long as you're not there."

"So much for working together."

"Working wasn't what you had in mind."

"True," he admitted. "Need a hand?"

"I'm fine. Where's your trunk?"

"Sirius is bringing it up for me." He studied her as she bewitched her trunk to make it lighter. Why wouldn't she say yes?

"Right, so that's this compartment clear at least," she said briskly, straightening up. "Let's finish up here and go. I'm famished."

Starting from the end of the train, they worked quickly, leapfrogging each other as they checked to see that nothing had been left behind. Mostly, all they found was a few Chocolate Frog cards – "Dumbledore _again_, you'd think they'd figure they've made enough to give every Muggle one too, hey, Evans?" – a couple of magazines and a stray sock.

James looked at it in revolted silence.

"It's just a sock, Potter."

"It's a sock with a particular aroma." He wrinkled his nose. "Smells of Slytherins. Bet it's Renshaw's and he left it there on purpose."

"Just pick it up."

"You pick it up."

Rolling her eyes, Lily marched in, conjured herself a paper bag, gingerly picked up the sock and dropped it in. "There. Now, if you're not too scared, hold the bag, I'll get my trunk, and –"

From a dark corner of the luggage rack, something leapt out and landed on Lily's head.

Lily shrieked and flung her arms up, dropping everything she was holding. "_Pelamicus!_"

James sat down carefully and proceeded to die of laughter.

* * *

"What's _Pelamicus_, Evans? Trying to summon the Kraken?"

Lily could have kicked herself. Firstly, her wand was on the floor and therefore useless; secondly, _pelamicus _wasn't a word; and thirdly, James Potter was enjoying himself entirely too much at her expense.

"Shut up," she said stiffly, scooping the terrified toad off the seat where it had landed after she knocked it off.

"Never pegged you for one who would freak like that," said James, wiping tears of laughter away. "What're you going to do if it had been something worse? Like a Pygmy Puff?"

"You just – take this and go!"

Taking the sock-containing bag she thrust at him, James obediently followed her out – mostly, she suspected, because he was too weak with laughter to argue.

"This is not my day," she grumbled under her breath. Stuffing her trunk into the carriage, she hoisted herself in and sat with her arms folded. James joined her shortly, and the carriage started off.

"Still mad?" he asked after a while.

"I'm not mad."

"Sure you're not. Come on, you have to admit that was funny."

She refused to dignify that with a reply.

"Ah, Evans, you've got to have a sense of humour in you somewhere. I wouldn't have noticed you otherwise."

"Excuse me?" she said indignantly. "I don't need you to validate my sense of humour, I didn't want you to notice me, it's not an honour to be noticed by you! And just because I don't match up with your sense of humour – I _do _have a sense of humour, Potter!"

"As you've amply demonstrated so far this evening." But he smiled, softening the sting of his words. "Evans, we're not even properly back yet. If you're going to be so serious about this, you'll be stark raving mad by the end of the year."

"Which will no doubt be largely owing to your efforts."

"I'll be the beacon of light in your sad Head Girl life. Loosen up a little, won't you? This is our last year. I refuse to spend it turning into Filch, whinging about mud and magic in the corridors."

"I really want this to go well, Potter." Leaning back, she sighed, staring out the window. "I don't want to disappoint anyone."

"You won't," said James. Hearing his sincerity, she looked at him. He was serious for once. "Trust me, Evans. I'm the one who'll have to be extra careful to keep my nose clean. All you have to do is be who you already are … who you have been for the past six years."

"What's that, your target of abuse?"

"If you don't mind," he said, and laughed at her expression. "All right, truce. You'll be a fine example of a Head Girl – once you find your sense of humour."

"You're still a git, Potter. Think that'll change anytime soon?"

"Probably not, but I'm fabulous enough to make up for it."

She shook her head at him but smiled. They sank into comfortable silence for a while.

"Evans?" he said as they drew nearer to the dim outline of the castle, its lights reflecting on the lake's still waters.

"Hmm?" she said absently, watching the lights glimmer, thinking how beautiful the sight was.

"_Pelamicus!_" he shrieked in a passable imitation of her. "Save me, help me, get it off me! Dear, sweet Merlin, it's a toad! A teeny tiny toad! Potter, rescue me!"

She burst out laughing, and the more she laughed, the more he acted up, and the more he acted up, the more she laughed.

"Stop!" she finally wailed, smacking him with her bag. "All right, I agree it was funny! Just shut up about it!"

"Wish I had a camera then," he laughed. "You should have seen your face."

"I'm just glad no one else was there."

"What, you're okay with my seeing that?"

"At least I know you won't rat me out."

James grinned at her. "What makes you think so?"

"I know so," she said loftily and stepped out of the carriage. Golden light streamed from the Great Hall, beckoning them both home.

* * *

**ooh, nearly forgot. Stole the Pelamicus thing from Hermione Malfoy, story in my favourites. Too funny not to advertise. Go.**

**Preview:**

"You do remember you're Head Boy, don't you?" said Remus, but the corners of his mouth twitched.

"Yeah, yeah, this isn't illegal," said James, grinning broadly.


	4. Chapter 4

**I started considering doing the whole "I won't update until I reach x reviews per chapter" but then I thought that's kinda mean. So, to quote Monica Geller, if you people could just realise that on your own! Feedback, people, feedback! Feeeeeeeeed me**

**Shout out to redbookbluebook for being lovely ^^**

* * *

"Hi there, squirts," said James kindly as they passed a bunch of first years on the first Wednesday back. A couple of the girls blushed, and one boy looked positively terrified at being addressed by the Head Boy.

"Er, excuse me – sir?" ventured a brown-haired boy.

"Sir. I like this one," said James to Sirius as they stopped.

"You would, you swollen-headed git," Sirius replied politely.

"What is it?" said James, grinning down at the shrimp. "And call me James. Or Potter. Whichever you prefer. Sir James is also acceptable."

"Oh," said the kid, looking more unsure than ever. "Um, I'm Robbie Hodgins. We were just wondering … we're not very sure about how to earn points for our House or what gets points taken off."

"Don't put Dungbombs in Sprout's Mandrakes and try to say you thought they would make good fertilisers, don't pee in the corridors, and don't do spells that make girls' skirts fly up," James reeled off. "Oh, and no setting up underground duelling arenas, those tend to earn you about two and a half years of detentions. Anything else, Padfoot?"

"You forgot the betting rings about the duelling arenas, mate."

"Oh yeah. Got all that? You really ought to be writing this down."

The first years looked as though they were waiting for permission to laugh. James sighed. Surely they hadn't been so timid when they arrived.

"Ignore them," said Remus, shaking his head at the two of them. "Breaking rules will lose you points, but you should be fine there since most of the school rules are pretty commonsense. No magic in the corridors, no getting into fights or tracking mud in – Filch has a thing about mud. As for earning points, you don't get points for merely turning in your homework or showing up to classes on time. You have to demonstrate to teachers that you've done something more than that, like mastering spells quickly because you've practised on your own time, or researching beyond the scope of the lessons. A lot depends on the individual teachers, though."

"Oh," said Robbie, digesting this. "Is there anything that first years have to look out for?"

Inspiration struck James.

He had always been a prey to inspiration. You couldn't restrain genius, otherwise you might lose it. Or get indigestion. Something like that.

"Walk with me," he said, putting a brotherly arm around Robbie's shoulders. The kid looked more apprehensive than anything, but he went along with it, and they moved a little away from the Marauders. Beckoning the rest of the first years over, he bent down a little and lowered his voice.

"There is a little something reserved particularly for first years," he said. "It's a special way to earn a hundred points for your House, but only if all the first years in your House do it. If more than one House knows about it, then the best one wins."

"I haven't heard of it," said a blond girl immediately.

"That's because every student is sworn to secrecy after they've done it. The trick is for the first years to discover it for themselves and earn their House all those lovely points. The older students aren't allowed to tell them."

"Then how come you're telling us?" asked the blond girl.

James decided that he didn't like blondes. "I'm Head Boy, aren't I? I'm only allowed to tell one group, though, and that's the first group who asks me about it. It's a race to see which House's first years have enough initiative to find out."

"What is it?" asked another boy, leaning forward eagerly.

* * *

"What did you tell them?" asked Sirius straightaway when James rejoined them and they made their way to the Quidditch field for a little flying.

"Never you mind," said James airily.

"Come on, share it," said Peter eagerly. "What did you say?"

"Nothing."

"You do remember you're Head Boy, don't you?" said Remus, but the corners of his mouth twitched.

"Yeah, yeah, this isn't illegal," said James, grinning broadly.

"Out with it," said Sirius, shoving James.

"My lips are sealed," said James. "But I will say this – don't miss dinner on Friday."

The other three exploded in questions, but James remained stubbornly silent on the matter. It was kind of fun to see Sirius mad. Besides he owed Sirius one for the trumpet thing.

* * *

Something was different in the Great Hall this evening. Perhaps it was the fact that the first weekend of the term was around the corner … or the strangely excited whispers of the first years … or the air of suppressed anticipation hanging over one James Potter.

Lily shrugged it off. Perhaps she was being a little too paranoid. He was Head Boy after all. The Marauders would have to give up a fair amount of their pranks if they didn't want to completely destroy Potter. Sitting with Marlene and Alice, she ladled soup into her bowl, keeping a watchful eye out anyway.

"Lily Evans, are you even listening?" said Marlene in exasperation. "I said Eric Murley asked me out!"

"Didn't take him long at all," said Alice a little slyly.

Lily started guiltily. "I am!" she said hurriedly. "Eric's great, you know that."

"Yeah, but his nose is a little wonky," said Marlene critically.

"It's not his fault the great hulking troll Slytherin had for a Beater smashed him in the face during the final match last year," said Alice.

"Still. It's –"

Suddenly, a bell rang from just outside the Great Hall.

Immediately, every single Gryffindor first year stood up and ran for the front of the Great Hall as loud, terrifyingly familiar music began blasting from somewhere, filling the whole Hall.

"What on earth-" started Marlene, but she was interrupted as all the first years from the other three Houses dashed to the front of the Hall. Tommy Newton fell headlong, picked himself up with his robes now adorned with someone's dinner, and hastened to join the rest.

"No!" gasped Lily, her eyes huge.

The teachers looked up.

* * *

Lily stared, horrified, at her well-behaved, carefully taught first years who had begun the mad scramble to the front of the Great Hall and then had starting performing the hokey pokey in the middle of dinner.

She risked a peek at the High Table. Slughorn looked bemused, a muscle was twitching in McGongall's cheek, Flitwick and Sprout were trying not to laugh in too undignified a manner, and Dumbledore was beaming benevolently and conducting them with one hand.

Marlene had Lily in a death grip, almost crying into her neck.

As the dance finally came to a close, Lily managed to unfreeze from her seat. Prying herself from Marlene's clutches, she went across to the Gryffindor first years, red-faced from their exertions, their expressions ranging from proud to abashed to confused at the reactions from the rest of the school.

"Robbie, what – what was that?"

"It's the first year competition," he said proudly.

"The what?"

Little Robbie Hodgins' eyes grew round. "You mean you don't know?" he said, sounding panic-stricken.

"How many points do we get?" came a bossy voice. A dark-haired Slytherin girl had gone up to the High Table and was addressing Slughorn.

Slughorn stared at her, more baffled than ever. "Beg pardon, Miss Zabini?"

"I think we should definitely get the points," she said aggressively. "We did the best, didn't we, Professor?"

"No, we should!" yelled Derric Bones, hurrying up to stand in front of Sprout. "We added extra steps!"

"No, us, we found out first!" exclaimed Maisie Higgins, then blushed deeply.

"And what," said McGonagall frigidly, "did you find out?"

"About the first year competition," said Maisie almost inaudibly. "The winner gets a hundred points if all the first years from the house do the dance…"

"May I inquire as to who told you about this?"

Even the aggressive Slytherin girl was beginning to look unsure of herself, unconsciously backing to the relative safety of her friends. Maisie looked terrified.

"It's all right," said Lily comfortingly. "Who told you about this?"

"James Potter," whispered Maisie, by now beet-red.

* * *

Lily didn't move for a second. Then she straightened and slowly turned to look over at the Gryffindor table.

The entire Great Hall was in stitches, but James and Sirius were howling louder than anyone else. Peter had choked on his pumpkin juice, and Remus was trying so hard to keep a straight face that he resembled a constipated tomato.

Stalking over, she came to a stop in front of the four of them. "Potter?" she said dangerously.

"H-hello, Evans," he eventually gasped out. "Did you see their faces? Did you see h-how earnest and s-sincere they all were? And the Slytherins, they got so c-competitive –" Fresh gales of laughter greeted his words, Peter sounded like he was hacking up a lung and half a kidney, and Sirius accidentally fell off the bench with a loud crash, dragging half the dishes off the table with him.

"Sirius!"

Sirius' hand appeared from under the bench. "'M all right!"

"Not you, the food!"

Unrepentant, James grinned up at her. "You should have heard them. A couple of them said that's so embarrassing, I said that's precisely the point, it shows moral fibre because you value your House more than you do your personal dignity, we consider this a rite of passage … and don't tell the older students, it's traditionally a surprise when they find out their first years managed to discover the competition, don't disappoint them … Evans, Evans, they swallowed it, they actually s-swallowed it…"

An extremely undignified sound came from Remus, who had given up the futile struggle. Staggering to his feet, Sirius grabbed Marlene and performed a re-enactment complete – _replete_ – with highly inappropriate gyrations as Benjy Fenwick bellowed, "YOU PUT YOUR RIGHT FOOT IN, YOU PUT YOUR RIGHT FOOT OUT…"

Lily buried her face in her hands, her shoulders shaking uncontrollably as she gave in to the inevitable.

James joined them.

The first years were scarlet as the rest of the school applauded, roaring with laughter.

Of course, come Monday morning James found himself up on the platform solemnly swearing that he would never again take advantage of the innocence of first years or the respect and trust engendered by the office of Head Boy. But everyone agreed it had been worth it, and even McGonagall's lips twitched when he offered to perform the Macarena as penance.

She refused his offer though.

* * *

Lily found it quite hard to yell at James about the whole thing. Contrary to her expectations, the prank had the odd effect of relieving the interhouse rivalries that were beginning to revive as they always did at the start of the school year. She had thought that the prank would make the older students upset that their younger siblings or relations had been embarrassed – especially the Slytherins, Merlin knew _they_ had an overinflated concept of pride accompanied by a noticeable lack of humour regarding that same pride – but what happened was quite the reverse. It _had_ been hilarious, it gave the houses something in common to laugh about, and after all James had leaked it out to a bunch mostly consisting of first year Gryffindors, with the sole exception of a couple of unfortunate passing Hufflepuffs who were being blamed by all the other first years in their house. It wasn't as though he had targeted any house in particular, except maybe his own.

Even the first years weren't taking it as badly as she had thought they might, considering the embarrassment they had inflicted upon themselves in front of the entire school. Some of them had a sense of humour, and the rest were comforted by the fact that the entire year had participated in the same fiasco so nobody would be singled out for ridicule.

James pointed out as much, which only irked her more because he was right.

"You shouldn't have done that," she said stiffly. They were alone in their office, waiting for the prefects to arrive.

"Relax, Evans." James wore a broad smile, lounging in his chair with his hands folded behind his head. "Renshaw actually talked to me the other day without sneering. It's a start."

"Oh, please." She rolled her eyes. "Don't try to spin it as though you intended this to smooth out interhouse relations."

"Well, no, I didn't," admitted James. "But it did have that effect, so give me a little credit for it."

"Did you even consider the possibility of your making yourself an object of hatred?"

"Nope. Who would hate _me_?"

Right now, Lily could only think of one person. "How _can _you do stuff like that?" she demanded in exasperation. "It's so irresponsible!"

"I apologised for it, didn't I?"

"That hardly counted, you weren't sorry."

James grinned. "Nah, I wasn't. Still, whatever makes McGonagall happy."

"You drive me crazy!" she burst out. "How can you play stupid pranks like that and somehow have everything work out for you?"

"Talent, Evans. You may have heard of it."

"I've also heard of the phrase you're-being-a-complete-prat."

He looked a little abashed, but only a very little, and the expression disappeared so quickly she almost wasn't sure if she had seen it. He smiled engagingly at her. "Admit it. You aren't sorry I did it either, are you?" Pursing his lips and frowning in mock concentration, he pitched his voice higher in an exaggerated imitation of the Zabini girl. "You put your left foot iiiiiin…"

"It doesn't mean you were right," she said, valiantly grasping at straws.

"No, but it definitely means I'm fun." James grinned at her, but for once it was friendly, not full of himself.

Lily gave up trying to talk sense into him. Refusing to reply, she continued working on the prefects' duty roster, stifling the giggles that rose up when she remembered poor Tommy Newton's egg-smeared face.

* * *

**Must admit the ideas here were inspired by something else, I think it was a youtube video I watched? It's been too long, I wrote this part over a year ago.**

**Also, perhaps I should put in cliffhangers? Those actually come later because now's the beginning of the year and everything's all sweetness and light, but maybe the pacing's too slow.**

**Oh nearly forgot. Yes I like the Draco/Hermione pairing, seriously check out AkashaTheKitty's stories. If you're more kiddie try Taste of Her Kiss.**

**Almost forgot again. Marlene and Sirius? I have an idea of the sort of relationship they have, but not sure if I can fit it in here. If enough people want it I might make the effort.**


End file.

Harry Potter, Drama, Romance