Lord of the Rings Seven tent poles and a tailess mouse

Disclaimer: I do not own The Lord of the Rings. Tolkien does.

A/N This was written in response to a challenge from Luna-Stella

The terms were:

1. One chapter.

2. Éowyn, Faramir, their three children (you get to make up the names, I think), Eldarion, and an ambassador from the Elven colony of Ithilien. This Elf came from Mirkwood, originally.

3. You have five days to get it posted on (by 4:28pm July 28th), not beta'd. Once you post it, I'll beta it.

4. Half of it must take place pre-Quest. (This is do-able, you just have to figure out how.)

5. At least four of these objects must feature in some way: a tail-less mouse, moldy window shades, seven mismatched tent poles, a baby oliphaunt, Samwise, Glorfindel.

Somewhere in the wilderness of Gondor . . . . (prequest)

"Captain."

"Yes Beregond?"

"We have a little problem, my lord."

"Speak, tell me what is so important."

"It's the . . . tents, my lord." Beregond seemed hesitant to continue.

Faramir raised an eyebrow at this, but said nothing. "I presume we brought them? It would not be comfortable to sleep in the rain, once we make camp."

"Well . . . we _did_ bring them.." He trailed off. "Actually, it's more the poles that's the problem."

"And . . . ."

"Well, there aren't enough."

"We can fix that."

"I don't know if that would work very well."

"And why is that?" Faramir looked at his friend, who brought him over to the area where his rangers were setting up tents -- except that there were none up. He pondered the situation momentarily before being dragged off into the center of the camp. Beregond pointed at the ground. Faramir looked down, and immediately saw his friend's point. There were tent poles. Seven of them, and they were all mismatched.

"Seven stars and one white tree . . ." someone muttered.

Faramir sent a glare in the general direction of his rangers, and sighed. There was no way they could reach the caves in time, the wind was howling rather fiercely and the sun was setting.

Neither Faramir nor his rangers found that night particularly enjoyable.

In the depths of Imladris . . . . (prequest)

Glorfindel was walking down the halls of Imladris (carefully avoiding Erestor's rooms) when he heard the sound of a conversation. It sounded like one of the periannath who had been staying there and he had briefly met while in the forest. He himself had just returned from searching the outsides of Imladris for the nazgul. He paused to listen.

"Merry, what other things of marvel do you suppose we might see on our great adventure?"

"I'm not sure Pip' do you suppose we'll see more of those black riders?"

"Not if Strider is with us, I don't suppose he'll ever let them get that close again, cousin." said a different voice.

Glorfindel bit back a laugh as he heard of Estel's newest name._ Strider? I wonder where he came up with that one . . . ._

"I agree with Mr. Frodo." said a fourth voice. "And shame on you Merry, for counting those terrible creatures as 'marvels' after what they did to Mr. Frodo. Horrors is more like what they are!"

"I didn't mean them being marvels," Merry protested. "I was only wondering."

"What would you like to see, Sam?" Asked Pippin.

There was a pause, and when Sam answered, his voice sounded dreamy. "Since we have seen the elves -- which I wanted to see more then anythin' in the world -- I would rather like to see an oliphaunt. You know, like out of one of old Mr. Baggins' tales."

"Good luck, Sam," laughed Merry, "I'm not sure they exist! But if you see one, be sure to tell me!"

_Oh . . . they exist, _thought Glorfindel. _Although I believe that you might want to view them from -- wait, he counts elves as marvels? Note to self: Lock Erestor in his rooms in the morning so he doesn't spoil their ideals with his foul morning temper._

The third Periannath spoke. "Would you take home a baby oliphaunt, Samwise Gamgee? It might ruin the gardens you and the Gaffer laboured so hard on!"

"I dunno, Mr. Frodo," Sam said, laughing. "If I see one, I'll think on it!"

The rest of the group joined in with his laugher, as Glorfindel slipped away, unnoticed. Not for long, though. For in the shadows of the evening, he bumped into one Erestor, Chief Advisor to Lord Elrond. Glorfindel gulped, Erestor didn't look pleased.

Post war Ithilien, Faramir's dwelling

"I agree with you on that term, Aradol." Faramir told the elven ambassador (Aradol of Mirwood). "But I just don't see why that second term Legolas gave me is needed! It doesn't make --"

"Father! Father!" Faramir's eldest son came running in, holding something cupped between his hands. His little sister followed like a tiny dark haired shadow.

"What is it, Boromir? I am working on something very important right now, you should know better then to come in without knocking." Faramir chided him.

Boromir hung his head for a moment before Faramir took pity on the six year old and smiled. "But since you're already here, I suppose I can spare a minute or two for my children." Boromir's head came up, and Acha grinned shyly at Aradol.

"Father," Boromir began, "Acha and I were wandering the gardens when we found this!" He brought his hands up. Inside, there was a little mouse.

"A mouse my son?" asked Faramir, bemused. "Tell me, what is so wonderful about this particular mouse?"

Boromir looked at his Father in astonishment. "Father, this mouse has no tail! It is almost exactly like the one Eldarion and I found last year, when he visited!"

"Ah, so it is!" Faramir cried out, seemingly amazed. "Truly a marvel to find two such mice within the space of a year. Perhaps he is the same one?"

"This one is a she, Father." Acha spoke up quietly. "Her name is Ithil, because we found her in Ithilien. The other mouse was a he, and his name was Mint, for Minas Tirith."

"Of course, my daughter. You are correct, how could I have failed to remember such an important piece of information?"

"You are very busy, Father. It is all right we will just have to remind you."

"And now it is time for me to remind you of your bath." Said a new voice from the doorway. Eowyn smiled at her husband as she held their youngest daughter. Baby Finduilas stuck her thumb in her mouth and stared at Aradol.

Eowyn shifted the baby as she adjusted the sword she wore at her side out of habit. The two older children groaned at the mention of a bath but obediently followed their mother out of the door. They could hear her berating her elder children (who were covered in mud from the garden) all the way down the hall.

"Really Acha, what were you two doing to get so unbelievably filthy?"

"We were fighting orcs, Mother!" Her daughter replied excitedly

Faramir could imagine his wife's smile as she remembered the days she herself used to do the same. He turned back to Aradol and smiled. "So, about the . . ." There was knock at the door.

"Come in." Faramir sighed.

Beregond entered and bowed. "The ranger's equipment is all ready my lord, when do you leave?"

"Tomorrow, Beregond. Thank you for putting it all together."

"You're welcome my lord." Beregond turned and bowed.

"And Beregond."

"Yes, my lord?"

"Did you check the tent poles?"

Beregond grinned. "Twice."

Aradol looked puzzled. "Tent poles?"

Faramir put his head in his hands. "You don't want to know."

ELVISH TRANSLATIONS:

Periannath Halfling aka Hobbit

A/N I hoped you guys liked it! Tell me what you think. Constructive criticism is most welcome.


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Lord of the Rings, Humor