Mass Effect Crush

"Which one is this again?" Wrex asked, showing his cards to Garrus.

Garrus looked. "That's the queen," he explained in a patient whisper. "She comes after ace and king."

"Oh. Okay," Wrex grunted.

Shepard almost had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. She couldn't believe that Garrus hadn't caught on to this bit, yet. Did he really think Wrex kept busting him by pure luck?

Wrex winked at her, and her mouth strained trying not to laugh out loud. It was a good thing Shep had chosen "shit-eating-grin" as her poker face; watching Wrex manipulate Garrus every week was just too hilarious.

Then again, so too was the fact that seeing her smile at all, let alone grin like a drunk raccoon, seemed to really unnerve some of the players.

"Uh… Commander? It's to you," Joker mumbled.

Shepard turned her grin on him just to see him flinch, before glancing at her cards.

"Interesting," Mordin muttered.

Shepard tossed in some chips, then decided to mess with Wrex's game.

"Hey, Garrus, I need some help, too. Which one is this?" she asked. Wrex growled a little. That was the thing with Wrex. Turians might be happy to believe the krogan slow, but Shep knew Wrex was on to her every move, just like she was on to his.

"Commander, that's a three," Garrus said. "Aren't these cards in your script?"

"Oh, yeah. I forgot. I fold, then."

"You know you just placed a bet, Commander. You ought to stay the rest of this round, at least."

"Aw, shucks, Garrus. Guess I'm still learning." Shep saw Wrex's mouth twitch. He knew she played half her game on what he showed Garrus. His "what-am-I-holding" bit would knock Garrus out of the game, and Mordin and Joker weren't great players, but to pull it off, usually he ended up letting Shep know exactly what he had.

"Surprised at you, Shepard," Wrex said. "I know you play better than that."

Shepard tried to glare through her grin. It didn't work.

_Is that how we're playing, tough guy?_ Well, to be fair, she had started it. And yet, Garrus _still _didn't have a clue, she saw, as he whipped his face back and forth trying to follow the conversation.

"You know, we could still play strip poker?" Joker suggested. He suggested it every week, and Shepard tried not to roll her eyes.

"Very interesting," Mordin decided. "Subject scores zero or one on human-developed Kinsey scale, when self-scored. Repeatedly suggests disrobing in population that is predominantly male."

"I missed all of that, Doc," Joker said.

This time, Shepard did laugh out loud. "He's suggesting that you keep asking a bunch of guys to get naked, and further suggests you're not as straight as you claim."

"Hey, no, I wasn't- I'd only be looking at you, Commander, I'm not- this is bullshit." Joker tossed his cards down and shuffled away.

"That wasn't nice, Solus," Shep said.

"Poker is not for… 'nice,'" Mordin said, distributing Joker's abandoned chips. "Besides, homophobia... unsettling. He should work on that."

Shepard glanced to Wrex, waiting for his subtle nod; yes, he had also noticed that Solus had finally picked up on the psychological part of the game.

_This is gonna get good, _she thought, still grinning.

#

Wrex watched Shepard as she flashed her grin at each player in turn. He knew she meant it to be scary, but it was just so damn good to see her smile. He didn't see enough of it.

Garrus, he could do without. But, he was nearly out of the game, and then once Mordin was gone, it would just be him and Shepard.

Wrex had thought he was fine, after she died. Sure, there'd been something there. Not enough to start anything, though. Not when she was human. Then she died, and that was supposed to be it. You don't spend years moping over a woman you never had, when there was no chance of her coming back. Then she did come back. And Wrex had been stuck on Tuchanka. And now, this female krogan. Bakara. Eve. Whatever she wanted to be called. He couldn't turn down the only fertile krogan female and still expect to keep his clans. They'd revolt. She had already threatened to take them away, if she didn't get her little Urdnot baby. Wrex grabbed his cards as Shepard dealt, grinding his teeth a little at Bakara.

It grated on him. If it weren't for the Reapers, he'd fight them all. As it was, they couldn't afford the distraction. So let the female play her games. He'd already told her, that the clan may own nearly all of him, but the rest was Shepard's. Bakara had dismissed that, of course, but it didn't matter. Whether Shep knew it, or not; whether she'd be amenable to the idea, or not; Wrex was not giving her up. Even if he had to act like it was all a big joke, like they were just friends (with a dirty sense of humor), he would do it. He couldn't do anything else.

#

Wrex and Shepard knocked Garrus out of the game fairly easily, then spent a while longer getting rid of Mordin.

"Finally," Wrex grumbled once Mordin had been busted and left.

"Hey, Wrex, help me out. Which one is this? And this one?" Shepard flipped cards at him one at a time.

"Let me guess. You're out?" he asked.

"I don't have eighteen hours for us to play against each other with no one able to make any progress." Shep leaned back in her chair, stretching. "Unless you wanted to go with the strip poker idea, finally."

"You wish. What are you drinking?" Wrex asked, reaching over the bar.

"Whatever you're getting." Shep got up and moved over to a barstool. Two people drinking alone at the card table just seemed weird.

"Not this, Shepard. This is ryncol. This'll kill you."

"Nah, Wrex. They rebuilt me, remember? They made me better, faster, stronger."

"Your funeral." Wrex found the bottle he was looking for and two glasses, pouring for her. "'When you want to drink all, drink ryncol,'" he quoted.

Shepard laughed, then drained her glass in one go. She did not miss the impressed look on Wrex's face.

"I'm going to be carrying your unconscious body to your cabin, aren't I?" he asked.

"I will match you glass-for-glass, and I'll be carrying _you_ to _your_ bunk," she boasted.

Wrex laughed, drained his glass, then poured again. "You're on."

"Urdnot Wrex? Did you finish your card game?" The krogan female stood in the doorway.

Shepard shifted so she was no longer leaning on Wrex's shoulder.

"Yes, Bakar- uh, Eve. I'll be right in. Just one drink," Wrex promised.

Shepard kept her eyes low. What was she doing, drinking alone with him? She knew he was spoken for, now. Her cheeks tried to flush, but she told them not to and they cooled. No one disobeyed an order from Shepard.

"That's all right, Wrex. I'll go to bed. You go ahead and drink… with your friend." Bakara walked away slowly.

_Dignified,_ Shepard thought. _Like she's waiting for the death blow._ Shepard drained her glass and stood up. "Gotta go, Wrex. Good night."

"Aw, come on, Shepard. You said you'd drink with me. She won't mind."

"Feeling kind of tired. I'll catch you tomorrow."

* * *

This was just an excerpt. For the rest, you can go to my page on AO3 (since it's for the kinkmeme and may be just over the line of what's acceptable here). The link is on my profile, or just look there for "LyingOwl."

Thanks to my lovely beta-type peoples who helped on this, Dominus Tenebrosus and ballofstring66.


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Mass Effect, Humor, Romance