Ranma 1. The Return of the Kissing Bandit

Copyright, Aviatrix8, 1998. Ranma 1/2 characters created by Rumiko Takahashi and are used without permission. 

This story is intended to be a compliment to Azusa Shiratori's Ranma 1/2 "Outta Control" episode (Hey, if Azusa gets her own episode, her partner should get one too!) Oh, and the title of this story is inspired by the song "The Crying Game", sung by Boy George. 

xXxXx 

Ranma 1/2 Fanfic: 

"The Kissing Game" 

by Avi 

Part One: "The Return of the Kissing Bandit" 

Somewhere in downtown Nerima, a young man impeccably dressed in a pale green suit walked down the street. He was well aware of the admiring gazes given to him by the young ladies, not to mention a couple from the not so young. 

Just up ahead in his path, a girl wearing a high school uniform dropped her books. As she fumbled to pick them up, a faint smile appeared across the young man's face. He strolled up to the student and knelt beside her. 

"Need a hand?" he asked casually, reaching for a book. 

"Uh, yeah..." She turned to face the speaker, and her voice trailed off. The few books she had managed to pick up fell out of her hands. The boy's smile grew a little wider. 

_Gotcha._ In one fluid motion, he swept up the girl's books in one hand, and helped her to her feet with the other. Then he presented the books to her. "Yours, I believe." 

She accepted them shyly. "Um, yes. Thank you." 

"No trouble at all. Miss...?" He raised an eyebrow questioningly. 

"Yuka." 

"Yuka. And my name is Mikado. Mikado Sanzenin." The girl's eyes widened. 

"The famous skater?" He raised his eyebrows in mock surprise. 

"Ah, you've heard of me, then?" _Excellent._ Mikado continued his polite conversation, patiently awaiting an opening so he could move in for the kill... 

xXx 

"Say Ranma, isn't that Yuka over there?" asked Akane. Ranma peered at the girl Akane was pointing at, noting that she was wearing the same Furinkan uniform as his fiancee. 

"Yeah. Why?" 

"Well, I've been trying to get her attention, but she hasn't noticed." Ranma snorted. 

"Well, of course not, Akane. She's got that guy hanging all over her." He stared at the two for a moment, then frowned. 

"Oh, no. Not him..." muttered Ranma. He began to stride up to the couple. 

"Wait! Ranma, what's wrong?" asked Akane. She ran after her fiance. Trying to keep up with him, she only paused a moment to gaze at the boy her schoolmate was with. Her eyes widened. 

"Mi... Mikado Sanzenin! What's he doing here?" 

"I don't know," Ranma said gritting his teeth, "But I'm sure as hell gonna find out." 

xXx 

The plan was proceeding perfectly. Mikado reeled in the girl as only he knew how, and was now going in for the coup de grace: the kiss. 

"Yo, Maniacal Sex-Fiend!" 

Mikado froze in mid-kiss. There was only one person who would address him in such an atrocious manner. He turned around, confirming his suspicion. There was Ranma Saotome, obnoxiously waving at him. He made it painfully clear that he was addressing Mikado and nobody else. As Ranma walked up to him, Mikado managed to rein in his temper. 

"So we meet again, Mr. Saotome." he replied cooly. "And the name is Mikado Sanzenin." His expression bore no indication of his annoyance, except for the vein throbbing in his head. 

"Sorry, didn't quite hear you there, Mental Sufferer," replied Ranma pleasantly. Mikado fumed. While the latter was distracted, Akane approached her friend. 

"Is that guy bothering you?" she asked. Yuka blushed. 

"Oh no," she replied. "He was just... Helping me out..." 

"Really...? Well, I wouldn't trust him, if I were you." Yuka stared at Mikado wistfully. 

"But he's such a hunk!" Akane nearly facefaulted. 

"Yeah, well..." Akane took a quick glance behind her. Certain she was out of earshot of both Ranma and Mikado, she leaned in close to her friend. "That guy kissed Ranma, you know." Yuka looked horrified. 

"No!" Akane nodded solemnly. 

"Ew, gross!" Yuka ran off, leaving clouds of dust in her wake. Meanwhile, Mikado was glaring at Ranma. 

"How dare you interrupt me!" 

"Oh, don't let me stop you," said Ranma with a smirk. "Go right ahead." Mikado smiled in satisfaction. 

"So, Saotome. It seems you have learned some manners, after all." He turned around. "Forgive the interruption, my dear. Let us continue where we left off..." His voice trailed off, as he suddenly discovered that his intended victim had disappeared. A large sweat droplet appeared on his head. 

"Lose somethin', Sanzenin?" Ranma grinned. Mikado was about to give Ranma a piece of his mind when he realized his ticket to salvaging the situation was also standing before him. He approached Akane, who watched him warily. 

"You are Akane Tendo, are you not? Such a pleasure to see you again." He took her hand. Akane tried not to recoil, and Ranma tried to resist shoving Sanzenin's face through a wall. Mikado continued, a glint entering his eye. 

"It is a shame I was never able to kiss you, though... Allow me to rectify this now." 

Unfortunately, Mikado's seduction was cut short by an uppercut. 

"In your dreams, pal!" snarled Akane. Mikado sailed into the stratosphere. Ranma watched him 'leave'. 

"Welp. That takes care of that. Let's go home, Akane." 

xXx 

Ranma and Akane walked together in silence, until the latter had managed to calm down. Finally, Akane said, "He hasn't changed." 

"Yeah. That Sanzenin's still a skirt-chasin' creep," snorted Ranma in disgust. Akane cast him a sideways glance. 

"You're one to talk." 

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean?" 

"What do you think it means, womanizer?" 

"At least I'm not an uncute, boy-hating, tomboy!" 

"Hey! Would you rather he kissed me, then?" she retorted. Ranma trailed off. 

"Uh... Well..." Much to Akane's surprise, he stopped taunting her. Then Ranma asked, "Say, how did you get Yuka to leave so fast, anyways?" Akane blushed. 

"Um..." 

"C'mon, you can tell me." 

"It's none of your business!" she said rather sharply. 

"Oh, I get it. It's one of those feminine things, isn't it?" Akane breathed a sigh of relief, thinking the subject was dropped. Too bad Ranma chose to mutter "Stupid girl" under his breath. 

"What did you say!" 

Meanwhile, Mikado observed the bickering couple from a distance, looking surprisingly unharmed. _So, Saotome thinks he can make a fool of me, does he? Well, I shall just have to teach him a lesson._ The thought of Akane also crossed his mind, and he smiled. _And if the lovely Miss Tendo is there to see it, all the better. Perhaps I shall even steal her kiss..._

Just then, a pretty girl passed in front of Mikado. His eyes followed her. _But first..._ He began to walk after the girl, the faint smile hovering on his lips. 

xXxXx 

A bell rang at the front door of the Tendo residence. 

"I'll get it." Nabiki strolled to the foyer, casually munching a bag of shrimp chips. She opened the door. On the other side stood Mikado, carrying a bouquet of roses. There was a barely perceptible sizing up from both parties: Nabiki probably deciding if he was loaded or not, and Mikado trying to figure whether or not she was kissing material. 

"Yes?" asked Nabiki. She looked the new visitor up and down, evaluating the cut and value of his clothing. "How may I... Help you?" Mikado took in his hostess's chin-length hair and tight-fitting shorts, and came to his own decision. A slow smile appeared on his face. 

"Ah, yes. My name is Mikado Sanzenin. I'm looking a Mr. Ranma Saotome, who I believe resides here. Do you know where he might be?" Nabiki smirked. 

"I suppose..." Her smile turned mischievous, and she pointed at the bouquet of flowers. "Those for him?" 

"Certainly not!" Mikado looked affronted. He cleared his throat, surprised that he let this girl get to him. "No, I'm afraid these are for Akane Tendo. I was under the impression that she also lived here." Nabiki raised her eyebrows. 

"Another suitor for my little sister, I see." She turned to the stairs behind her, allowing time for the words 'another suitor' sink in. "Akane!" she called out. "Somebody here to see you!" _This promises to be fun..._ Behind her, Mikado arced an eyebrow. 

"'Little sister'...?" As Nabiki turned back to face him, his mental gears went to work. "Ah, if I had only known that the charming Ms. Tendo had an equally gorgeous sister... I should have brought more flowers. Please, allow me to make up for this slight..." He leaned in for a kiss. 

Something brushed against his lips. Mikado opened his eyes in surprise. There something between his lips, all right... It was a shrimp chip. 

"Sorry, maybe some other time, San-chan." Nabiki was still smiling, but there was a touch less amusement in her expression. 

While Mikado tried to figure out why on earth Nabiki called him by a nickname only his skating partner used, a curtain behind her flipped aside. Kasumi stepped out, wiping her hands on her apron. 

"Who is at the door, Nabiki?" she asked. She took in Mikado with his flowers, and her hand flew to her mouth. "Oh, my! We have a visitor. I'd better make some tea for our guest." She went back into the kitchen. The shrimp chip fell from Sanzenin's lips. 

_What's this? Another lovely sister?_ thought Mikado. At that very moment, Akane came down the stairs. 

"Did you call me, Nabiki?" She stared at the visitor. "Mikado Sanzenin...?" _What's he doing here?_ Upon seeing Akane, Mikado immediately directed all his charm towards her. 

"My dear Akane... You are more enchanting than ever today." He walked up to her, handing her the roses. "These are for you." She looked at them skeptically. 

"Gee, thanks. I guess..." 

xXx 

A moment later, Mikado was seated at a table in the living room, surrounded by members of the Tendo family. At the table sat the three sisters, as well as their father, Soun. Kasumi was pouring tea, and offered a cup to Mikado. He accepted it, and bowed his head to her in gratitude. 

"So, what brings you here, Mr. Sanzenin?" Soun asked, a touch suspiciously. 

Mikado tore his gaze away from the three sisters, with whom he had been trying to divide his attentions equally. _It's a shame Akane's father entered when he did,_ he thought regretfully. Even Mikado had sense enough not to kiss a girl when her father was around; worst case scenario: the father would force him to marry her. And he certainly wasn't ready for that yet; too many lips yet unconquered. He smiled to himself quietly. _Although... There was that one girl..._ Realizing that Soun was still awaiting an answer, Mikado came to himself. 

"Forgive me, sir," he said smoothly. "I'm afraid I was distracted by your three, breathtakingly beautiful daughters." Kasumi went, "Oh, my!"; Nabiki looked amused; Akane, disgusted. "I merely came over today looking for Ranma Saotome. Do you know where I might find him?" Akane's eyes widened. 

_Ranma? What could he want with..._ Suddenly, there was a splash outside. All eyes turned as the screen door to the backyard was opened. Mikado raised an eyebrow at the sopping wet panda, but it was the second person who arrested his gaze. 

"My pig-tailed princess!" he said breathlessly, rising to his feet. Everybody stared at him. Ranma-chan stopped wringing out her hair and looked up. 

"S... Sanzenin!" she gasped out in surprise. _What the heck is he doing here?_ Before she could react, Mikado was at her side, clasping her hands to his chest. 

"To think, I never thought I'd see you again..." 

"Yeah? Well, the feeling is mutual, pal," Ranma-chan snapped. 

"Ah, I can still remember the sweet taste of your lips-" His sentence was punctuated with a klonk to the head. 

"I've been trying to forget!" Ranma-chan removed her elbow, scowling. Nabiki got a thoughtful look in her eyes. 

"Oh, so this is the guy that gave you your first kiss..." she murmured in amusement. Nabiki chuckled softly. Akane gave her sister a sharp look. 

"Sis!" she hissed, elbowing her. Unfortunately, Mikado had already heard. 

"Your... First kiss?" He turned questioningly back to Ranma-chan, who had began to sweat. "Ah, no wonder you wept at my kiss. I still remember that day clearly..." The living room faded away and turned into a skating rink, which, for some reason, was surrounded by fields of flowers. On centre ice was Ranma-chan in Mikado's arms, sharing an intimate kiss. Finally, Ranma-chan pulled away, her eyes wide and bright. 

"Oh!" she said, in a sweet, child-like voice. "To think my first kiss was with the Emperor Sanzenin!" She began to skip away. Mikado held up a hand to stop her. 

"Wait, please!" Unheeding, Ranma-chan continued to skip blissfully along. 

"Eeeeeeeee! I'm so happy!" From her exaggeratedly huge eyes, tears flowed freely. Flower petals flew past her. 

"Yes, it's understandable you reacted so," continued Mikado, as reality faded back in. "Why, it is only natural that-" He never got to finish the sentence, as Ranma-chan decided to give Mikado a little reality check. 

"That's not the way it happened!" she snarled, booting him out the backyard and into the sky. Beyond all expectation, Mikado somersaulted gracefully in the air, landing lightly on the brick wall marking the end of the yard. 

"You seem to be rather shy today," he called to her, unperturbed. "Perhaps I shall see you some other time, then." He leapt off the wall, and out of sight, as Ranma-chan seethed. There was an uneasy pause of silence in the room. Finally, Soun chose to speak. 

"So, son..." he started off calmly. Suddenly, his head was ten times its original size, clouds of smoke trailing behind it. The demon-head of Soun loomed over an intimidated Ranma-chan. "What's this about you kissing a man!" 

"No! Wait! You don't understand! He kissed me!" She blinked as she realized what she just admitted, and began to sweat. "Er, what I mean is... He didn't really kiss me, uh..." Behind her, Genma sobbed, still steaming from a kettle of water he had just poured over himself. 

"Boy, you break your poor father's heart..." Ranma-chan bonked him over the head with her fist. 

"Who asked you?" Predictably, Soun joined in on the sobbing. 

"Isn't it bad enough that you have girls chasing you around town, son? Now you're leading around boys, too!" 

"Who's leading around anybody!" cried Ranma-chan. Akane put an hand to her head in exasperation, resigning herself to the argument she and her sisters had to watch. 

xXx 

Later, Akane found Ranma in the dojo, sulking. His back was turned to her. 

"Thought I'd find you here," she said. No response. Then he said: 

"Did anyone follow you?" Akane looked surprised. 

"Er... I don't think so..." she replied. Ranma nodded. 

"Just wanted to make sure nobody was listening in on us." Akane's eyes lit up in understanding. Trying to even talk to Ranma alone incited curiosity in their respective, matchmaking families. "So what did you come in here for, anyways?" he asked. Akane took a deep breath, and decided to continue. 

"Ranma, I've been thinking... Why don't you just tell Mikado you're really a guy?" Ranma's head snapped around. 

"No way! I'd sooner kiss him again!" 

"Look Ranma, I know you're still sore at Mikado, but you've got to get over your pride! So he kissed you! Big deal!" Ranma bristled at that. 

"Aw, like you'd know anything about it..." 

"And what's that supposed to mean?" 

"That you've never been kissed by another man befor-" He trailed off. They looked away from each other. There was an uneasy pause of silence. Finally, Akane swallowed her nervousness and spoke. 

"Look, my point is, that you don't want another guy chasing after you, do you?" Ranma grimaced. 

"Yeah, I suppose," he conceded. He turned away for a moment. _Though I'm not about to admit that another man kissed me..._ he thought to himself defiantly. _Especially to the guy who did the deed._

"You will think about my suggestion, then?" she asked. There was a pause, then Ranma nodded slowly, if reluctantly. Akane looked relieved, as her fiance put his hands behind his head. 

"Wonder why that creep was hangin' around here, anyways." Akane look of relief changed to that of worry. 

"He was looking for you, you know." Ranma shrugged, causing his fiancee to sigh. 

_You may not be worried, Ranma,_ she thought, _but I don't think that's the last we'll see of Mikado._

TO BE CONTINUED... 

xXxXx 


	2. On Thin Ice

Ranma 1/2: 

"The Kissing Game" 

Part Two: "On Thin Ice" 

The final bell rang, and Ranma and Akane walked out of Furinkan High School, surrounded by the other students who laughed and chattered away. 

Suddenly, Ranma felt a tingle pass through him. _What? Danger!_

There was a blur of motion. Akane looked beside her, shocked. Her fiance had just caught a blade between his fingers, mere millimetres from his face. His expression hadn't changed. The students began to murmur as Ranma examined the blade. 

"A... Skate blade?" he said in disbelief. Akane looked over his shoulder. 

"Hey look, there's something written on it." She held it up lengthwise, clearly revealing the neatly etched word, 'Challenge'. They both stared at it wordlessly. 

"So, Saotome. Do you accept?" 

Ranma and Akane looked up to see Mikado step out from behind a tree, clad in his school uniform. He set foot onto the pavement in front of the high school. Nearby, a few of the Furinkan girls sighed in delight. 

"What a babe!" 

Meanwhile, Ranma tossed the blade back to Sanzenin, who caught it easily. 

"Whatever you say, Mr. Moronic Skater," answered Ranma. Mikado frowned. 

"That's Mikado Sanzenin!" 

"Whatever. So, when are we gonna fight?" 

"Oh, right now will do, nicely," replied Mikado casually. Ranma looked surprised. 

"You sure 'bout that?" 

"Most definitely." 

Ranma shrugged. _It's your funeral, pal..._ Satisfied, Mikado removed his coat. 

"Do hold this for me, will you, gorgeous?" Mikado handed his uniform jacket to a female Furinkan student. His eyes caught hers, and she blushed. 

"Sometime this year, Sanzenin?" 

Reluctantly, Mikado pulled his gaze away from the girl, turning to glare at Ranma. Meanwhile, Akane looked thoughtful. 

_So that's why Mikado stopped by the other day,_ she thought. _He wanted to challenge Ranma!_ She turned and whispered in her fiance's ear. 

"Sure you can take him?" 

"No sweat. Heck, I kicked his butt last time!" 

"From what I remember, he did a pretty good number on you, too," replied Akane archly. Ranma gave her a sharp look. 

"Yeah, well, I'm not wearing ice skates this time," Ranma grumbled. He then looked smug. "Besides, without skates on, Sanzenin can't be half as good as he usually is." 

"Any time you're ready, Saotome." Ranma turned to his opponent. 

"I'm ready!" 

"Very well." Mikado leapt straight up into the air. Much to everyone's surprise, rollerblades retracted from the soles of his shoes. He then landed nimbly upon the paved ground. 

"What were you saying, Ranma?" Akane said pointedly. A large sweat droplet had formed on Ranma's head. Then he put on an air of bravado. 

"Heh. Well, I still beat him last time. Besides, we're on my turf now." Turning away from his fiancee, he stepped forward, taking a fighting stance. The fight had begun. 

Ranma was the first to attack. He aimed a punch at Mikado, who dodged it. But Ranma had anticipated this, and followed up with a lightning quick fist to the face. To his surprise, Sanzenin slid back, avoiding the attack. Mikado then neatly spun around and aimed a kick at Ranma's head. He just managed to duck in time. 

As the fight progressed, it repeated that same pattern: Whenever Ranma would try to attack Mikado, the latter would skate just out of reach, but close enough to be able to fight back. Ranma was getting annoyed. 

"Why you slippery, little..." he muttered under his breath. Mikado slid away from Ranma, clearly amused by the frustrated expression on his opponent's face. 

"Something troubling you, Saotome?" he smirked. Ranma's eyes narrowed in thought. 

_I can't even use "Hiryu shoten ha" on him, 'cause he keeps moving out of the way!_ he thought. _But I do have another trick up my sleeve..._ Ranma leapt onto a tree. As he bounced off a branch, he headed towards Sanzenin, starting his next attack. "Katchou tenshin ameguriken!" 

Mikado arced an eyebrow at the flurry of punches aimed at him, and began his counterattack. "Dance of Death!" Akane's eyes lit up. 

"That's it!" The other students looked at her in surprise. Then they turned back to the fight, to watch in amazement as Mikado spun gracefully on one foot, arms and opposite leg outstretched to strike Ranma. Ranma seemed to be getting the worst out of the two fighters, but... 

_The last time that Mikado used this attack on Ranma,_ Akane recalled, _Ranma won! And he's gotten even faster since he learned the 'Chestnuts Roasting On an Open Fire' technique..._ Suddenly, something about the fight drew her eye. There was something strange about Mikado's Dance of Death... Something different. A tiny sweat droplet slid down her cheek. 

_Wait. He's not attacking Ranma!_ she realized in shock. _He's kicking him, but... Mikado is blocking Ranma's punches instead of punching him back!_

xXx 

_I don't get it!_ thought Ranma, caught in the whirlwind of Mikado's Dance of Death. _I've punched him twice as much as last time, and he still isn't down! What gives?_ The look of intense concentration on Sanzenin's face gave him no clue to the reason why. 

Against his own better judgment, Ranma pulled out of his own attack. After a moment, Mikado wound down as well. Both combatants circled other warily. 

_Damn!_ thought Ranma. _When did he get so good?_

"Surprised?" asked Mikado smugly, mirroring the other boy's thoughts. "After our last fight ended in a draw, I trained harder, just to make sure that it wouldn't happen again." A slight frown appeared on Sanzenin's face. "But it seems that you've been training, too..." Upon hearing this, Ranma allowed himself a bit of a smile. 

_So, not as confident as you seem, huh?_ he thought. _Maybe I can work this to my advantage._ He began to run towards Mikado. In response to the obvious challenge, Mikado skated towards his opponent, seemingly unfazed. 

It soon became clear to the watching students that what was going to happen now was a game of chicken; only in this case, whichever of the two got the first hit in, won the round. The crowd looked on with breathless anticipation. 

Both fighters picked up speed as they headed towards each other. At the last possible moment, Mikado turned around and extended a leg, prepared to kick Ranma with it. But Ranma reacted quickly and blocked the kick away with an arm. He then saw an opening, and aimed a punch at Mikado's exposed midsection. But Mikado saw this coming, and easily parried the attack. The two combatants sped past each other. Ranma skidded to a stop, while his opponent continued skating in the opposite direction. 

It was then that Mikado caught Akane in his line of vision. A familiar gleam entered his eye. Adjusting his course slightly, he rushed towards her, capturing the surprised girl in his arms. 

"So Miss Tendo, we meet again." 

"Arrrrrgggggghhhhh!" 

Ranma turned in surprise. "Akane!" he cried, running towards his stricken fiancee. 

Meanwhile, Mikado spun around with Akane in his arms for a moment, then swung her into a dip. 

"Allow me to finally give you my formal greeting..." 

Mikado was interrupted as a knee bashed into the back of his head. 

"'Scuse me, but would you mind keepin' your mind on the fight!" Ranma growled, a vein popping from his head. He leapt off the taller boy's back, while Mikado turned to him, his seduction forgotten for the moment. 

"Saotome..." Mikado it said quietly, but his blazing eyes betrayed his anger. "You've interfered with me for the last time!" 

"Sorry, Sanzenin," replied Ranma, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Was I interrupting something?" 

Threateningly, Mikado stepped towards Ranma, who leapt back onto the school's field behind him. He started to run backwards, making faces at Mikado in the process. 

"Come and get me!" It was then that Akane realized Ranma's gambit. 

_He's been fighting Mikado on the pavement... If he can lure him to the grass, Mikado should have a harder time skating around!_ she thought, impressed by Ranma's cunning. 

Mikado also seemed to recognize this. Wordlessly, he turned around and skated in the other direction. Ranma looked smug as the students watching began to murmur in surprise. 

"Sanzenin's running away?" 

"Didn't think he'd give up that easily..." 

Suddenly, Mikado skated around in a wide arc. As he hit the curve, he appeared to pick up speed and rushed past the astonished students, towards Ranma. By the time he reached the end of the pavement, he was a mere blur and Mikado sped onto the field, blades of grass flying in his wake. Caught off guard, Ranma yelped and began to run. Mikado smirked in satisfaction. 

_If you thought this grass would hinder my skating, Saotome, you were sadly mistaken,_ he thought to himself. _I've skated on the shattered remains of an ice rink. A mere meadow is nothing to me!_

xXx 

"Damn!" Ranma muttered. He glanced back at Mikado, who was in hot pursuit. He had been counting on the grassy field to slow down his rollerbladed opponent. 

Ranma turned his head just in time to see a familiar figure block his path. He stifled back a groan. 

"Ranma Saotome! How dare you challenge one other than I!" Kuno stood firm, with his bokken drawn for battle. 

"Aw, Kuno-sempai, I don't got time for this!" Ranma leapt over Kuno. At least, he would've leapt over Kuno, if he hadn't also decided to plant a foot in the older boy's face. Ranma continued to run without breaking his stride, as Kuno fell flat on his back. The latter slowly got to his knees, propping himself up with his sword. 

"You dare stomp upon the head of Tatewaki Kuno?" he declaimed to Ranma's fleeting form. "I shall smite-" 

His sentence was abruptly cut off as he was run over by Mikado on his rollerblades. Kuno was left face down in the grass yet again, with two visible treadmarks going down the back of his kendo outfit. 

xXx 

Ranma looked over his shoulder as he ran. He seemed to have lost Sanzenin for the moment, but he knew that the skater couldn't be too far behind. "There's gotta be some way I can slow that guy down..." he muttered to himself. 

Just then, a fenced-off area of the school appeared up ahead of him. Ranma's eyes lit up. 

_Of course! If I can lure Mikado into that enclosed space, I might be able to corner him._ Swiftly, he scaled the wire fence, leaping off the top. It was only then he realized what the fence was for. 

"Er..." A large sweat droplet formed on the back of Ranma's head. _How could I forget this is where the school's swimming pool is!_

"Arrrrrgggggghhhhhhh!" 

xXx 

Meanwhile, Mikado was searching for Ranma. "Now, where did Saotome go...?" 

Suddenly, he heard a splash somewhere to his left. He turned. 

_A-ha!_ He skated in the direction of the sound. _Thought you could escape me, hmmm...?_ Seeing the fence before him, and realizing the splash came from the other side, he built up speed. He then used his momentum to skate up the side of the fence, breaking several laws of physics in the process... 

Reaching the top, Mikado managed to balance himself. From his vantage point, he looked down at the pool below him. With a start, he recognized the person flailing in the water; not as Saotome, but the girl he knew as the pig- tailed princess. His reaction was immediate. 

"Don't worry, I'll save you, my pig-tailed pretty!" Mikado called out to her. Ranma-chan looked up just in time to see Mikado perform a graceful swan dive towards her. A large sweat droplet appeared on her forehead. 

"No! Wait!" she cried, waving her arms in protest. "Stop!" Her eyes grew wide as Mikado grew closer. "You idiot-!" 

She never got to finish the sentence. Mikado caught her in his arms, as the impact of his dive sank them both to the bottom of the pool. Water rushed into Ranma-chan's lungs, and she passed out. Mikado then pulled her prone form from the water. 

"Are you all right, my dear?" he asked, gently laying her by the side of the pool. When there was no answer, his eyes widened in shock. He tilted her chin back, prepared to give her the kiss of life. Even in such a life and death situation, he murmured, "Such beauty..." 

Mikado's life-saving tactic was prevented by a flat foot to the chin. "Not even half-drowning me's gonna make me kiss you again!" snarled Ranma-chan. Mikado's eyes lit up. 

"My pig-tailed princess, you're all right!" 

"I ain't nobody's princess! Now get away from me!" She desperately inched away from him. He gave her a sympathetic look. 

"You poor, innocent creature... Your drowning must have affected you. You have nothing to fear from me." Mikado leaned over her, surrounded by sparkling effects. The background seemed to fade away, transforming into fields of roses; the pool turned into a glittering fountain. Ranma-chan's expression became childishly sweet. 

"Mikado-sama!" she cried, clasping her tiny hands together. "You... You saved my life!" She began to blush. "How may I ever repay you?" Mikado clasped her hand. 

"Don't worry, darling. The grateful look on your pretty face is more than enough reward for me. However..." His eyes sparkled even more at this, "I would appreciate a tender kiss from your sweet lips." 

The oh-so-cute Ranma-chan lifted her head to him, lips pursed. Mikado leaned over, ready to receive his reward. 

Meanwhile, in the real world, Ranma-chan's face was red, and it wasn't from blushing. She reacted to Mikado's attempt to kiss her a little differently. 

"Not in this lifetime, you jerk!" she cried, booting him into the clouds. 

Ranma-chan sat breathing heavily for a moment, waiting for the beating of her heart to go back to normal. _Brrr... That was too close,_ she shivered. _The last thing I need is another pervert chasin' me around-_

A pair of arms glomped around her waist. "Pig-tailed girl, you have returned to me at last!" Kuno sobbed, nuzzling against her. 

After a moment, Kuno followed Mikado on his orbit of the earth. 

Finally, Ranma-chan managed to calm down in peace. "There must be a way to get at least Mikado off my back..." she muttered to herself. 

Suddenly, Akane's advice came back to her. _"Why don't you just tell Mikado you're a guy?"_ Ranma-chan winced. It was the last thing she wanted, to admit that she was kissed by a guy, but considering her alternative options... 

_Have that playboy after me, trying to steal another kiss? I don't think so._ She stood up, resolved to do whatever was necessary to make sure Sanzenin would leave her alone for good. 

TO BE CONCLUDED... 

xXxXx 


	3. In Hot Water

Ranma 1/2: 

"The Kissing Game" 

Part Three: "In Hot Water" 

Ranma Saotome stood in front of the municipal skating rink, looking up at the sign. He was rather hoping he'd never come here again... He sighed, adjusted what he was carrying, and went in. 

Upon entering, he approached the ice rink and began to scan it. After a while, he realized with some surprise that the person he had been looking for wasn't around. Finally, he decided to ask somebody, tapping a passing skater on the shoulder. The skater turned, giving Ranma a rather odd look. 

"Yes?" 

"'Scuse me. Do you know where I can find Mikado Sanzenin?" 

"Oh, I'm afraid you just missed him. He just finished practice." Ranma cursed under his breath. Seeing his expression, the skater added helpfully, "I think he went to the baths, though. I can show you where they are, if you want." 

"No thanks," said Ranma. "I've been there before." He turned away, lost in thought, and headed in the direction he recalled the public baths were. _The baths, huh? I guess I won't be needing these, then..._ He tossed aside a pair of ice skates, as well as a bucket of water and a steaming kettle, which he had been carrying around for some reason... 

xXx 

Meanwhile, Mikado sat calmly in the hot baths at the skating rink, eyes closed. He had just finished a particularly rigourous skating practice, and had been looking forward to a relaxing bath. 

"Yo, Sanzenin." 

Mikado opened his eyes. At the entrance to the baths stood Ranma, with a towel around his waist. He raised an eyebrow. 

"Yes?" 

"C'mere for a second." 

Mikado paused for a moment, then sighed in resignation. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist, then stepped out of the bath. The other men in the public bath began to stare at them both, but they ignored it. 

"What is it, Saotome?" he asked, a touch irritably. Mikado gestured at the steam-filled room around him. "This is hardly the place for one to issue a challenge." 

"I didn't say nothin' about challenging you," replied Ranma quietly. "I just wanted to show you something, that's all." Mikado arced his eyebrow again. 

"Oh? And what may that be?" 

Ranma paused. He was very reluctant to do this. But Akane was right, for once; this was the only way to get Mikado off his back. And considering that Mikado wouldn't leave him alone... Ranma suppressed a shudder. 

There was no help for it; it was best he got it over with. 

Slowly, Ranma filled a bath pail with cold water and lifted it over his head. "This," he replied, pouring the water over himself. 

Mikado stared. If some of the bathhouse patrons weren't paying attention before, they were certainly doing so now. Especially to the parts that Ranma's towel did not cover, and didn't have to worry about covering when he was a guy. Ranma-chan glared at them. 

"What are you looking at, you perverts?" She snatched a bucket of hot water and poured it over herself, reverting back to male form. It was at that moment that Mikado finally managed to speak. 

"You're... You're that pig-tailed girl..." he trailed off weakly. 

"Yeah. Disappointed?" Ranma smirked. Mikado placed a hand to his head, a vein throbbing in his forehead. 

"Do you mean to tell me... All this time... I had kissed a man!" 

"Whoa. So you're not so dumb after all, eh, Majorly Stupid?" 

"For the last time, that's Mikado Sanzenin! And how dare you toy with my affections like that!" Ranma blinked in surprise, then in anger. 

"What are you talkin' about? You kissed me, remember?" Mikado clenched a fist. 

"To think I should debase myself by kissing a man... Ranma Saotome... You make me sick!" In one swift motion, he aimed a kick at Ranma, who just managed to duck in time. 

"Why, you..." growled Ranma. In retaliation, he took a swipe at Mikado. The taller boy sidestepped Ranma's attack, and with a cold expression on his face, tripped him. Ranma went sprawling into the hot bath behind Mikado. The boy with the pig-tail resurfaced, spluttering. 

"You're just askin' for it now, Sanzenin!" 

To the amazed eyes of the onlooking bathers, Ranma jumped out of the bath, throwing a punch at Mikado. The other boy easily dodged it, but Ranma was ready for that this time. Quickly, he ducked low, avoiding Mikado's counterattack, and swept Sanzenin's legs. The taller boy gasped as he fell heavily to the floor. Mikado then rolled, just avoiding a punch Ranma had aimed at his chest. The punch cracked the floor instead. Ranma grinned. 

_Heh. Now that I know your fighting style, you're mine, Sanzenin!_ Mikado got to his feet, narrowing his eyes. 

_Foolish, that I let him catch me off guard,_ he thought. _It will not happen again._

Ranma approached Mikado to attack again. Much to his surprise, the other boy slid backwards across the room, avoiding him. A sweat droplet slid down Ranma's cheek. 

_Wha...?_ He stared at Mikado smugly watching him from the other side of the room, then stared at the floor. He cursed. _Damn! He's slipping across the wet floor like he was on skates or somethin'!_

"Don't you ever stop slidin' around like that?" he snarled at Mikado. The other boy flipped his damp hair in amusement. 

"Certainly not. I am a martial arts skater. It would be a crime if I did not use my skills whenever the opportunity arises." His eyes narrowed. "Now, you shall witness the true power of a martial arts skater..." 

Deceptively, Mikado slid back. Ranma watched him closely, steeling himself for the upcoming attack. He wasn't disappointed. 

Mikado continued to move backwards, then swerved around, picking up momentum. He headed towards Ranma, and leapt into the air. 

Ranma watched unflinchingly as Mikado spun three times in midair, right in front of him. Just when it appeared that Ranma wouldn't be able to move away in time, he flipped into the air, avoiding the other boy's attack. Meanwhile, Mikado landed nimbly on one foot, the other smashing into the wall that Ranma had been standing in front of. To the amazement of the onlooking bathers, the wall broke into pieces. The skater spun around, to glare at his opponent. 

_Blast! He dodged my Triple Axel Attack!_ thought Mikado in annoyance. Ranma smirked at his opponent, as he somersaulted in midair. 

"Heh. If that was supposed to impress me, it didn't work, ya big jer-" Ranma's insult was cut off as he had the misfortune to land on a bar of soap. He slipped and fell to the ground, banging his head heavily on the tiled floor. He lay there, dazed. 

Seeing his opponent was down, Sanzenin saw his chance. Skidding around the room to pick up speed, he prepared to unleash the final blow. Unaware of the danger, Ranma slowly came to. 

"Ow..." he muttered, rubbing the back of his head. "What the heck...?" Ranma looked up just in time to realize what was going on. He managed to roll away just as a flying kick soared above him, barely missing him. Instead, Mikado's foot struck a faucet behind Ranma, knocking off the tap. A jet of water shot out, hitting the pig-tailed boy dead on. 

"Hey! That's cold!" Ranma blinked. _Cold? Oh no..._

Ranma-chan stood up, wiping water from her face. She glared defiantly at Mikado. Mikado stared at her. His eyes narrowed. 

"Don't think that I will go any easier on you, just because you're a woman, now," he said quietly. "I know you're really a man." 

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Ranma-chan smirked. _Maybe I can work this to my advantage..._

They attacked each other again. As they fought, a look of intense concentration came across Mikado's face. After a while, Ranma-chan had to grudgingly admit that she was impressed: Despite the fact that Mikado had avoided looking at her bare chest, he was fighting her all out. 

_Huh. I guess he wasn't kidding about not going easier on me 'cause I'm a girl._ Not even her usual distraction tactics fazed him. _If that ladykiller is ignoring me, he must be really ticked off,_ she thought wryly. Still, she was faster as a girl, and got a couple more hits in. As she fought, she contemplated on how to defeat Mikado. _I wonder if I should try sliding around the floor like he's doing..._

_Nah,_ she concluded. Ranma-chan hated to admit it, but she wasn't a very good skater. _Wait. If he can use his style of martial arts here, maybe that's what I should do, too..._ Her eyes lit up. _That's it!_

As Ranma-chan narrowly dodged one of Mikado's spinning punches, she prepared to put her newly hatched idea to good use. Scaling the bathhouse wall, she grabbed the top of it, balancing herself. She then turned to Mikado, sticking her tongue out at him. "Catch me if you can!" she taunted. He lifted an eyebrow. 

"To think, I thought you were above such cowardice." Ranma-chan bit her tongue, vowing the the word 'cowardice' would be paid for later. "Very well." Mikado dashed across the wet floor like a speed skater, then launched himself at the wall. 

_Sucker!_ thought Ranma-chan. She bounced off the wall, towards the airborne Mikado. As she soon as she got close enough, she grabbed him by the shoulder with one hand, then drew back the other. "Katchou tenshin ameguriken!" 

Caught off guard, Mikado gasped. Instinctively, he tried to twist away from the attack. Ranma-chan smirked in satisfaction. 

_Nice try, pal, but midair combat is the specialty of the Saotome School of Anything Goes Martial Arts!_ She held him fast as she pounded away at his chest, and Mikado's defensive tactic only succeeded in sending them into a descending spiral to the floor. He tried to block the punches, but by then it was too late... 

They hit the ground with a thud. Ranma-chan was not above using Mikado to break her fall, especially after the "cowardice" remark. She got to her feet as Mikado lay on the floor, the wind knocked out of him. 

"Huh. Well, that'll show him," she said in satisfaction. The watching bathers clapped appreciatively. 

Then Ranma-chan heard a moan behind her. Turning, she was surprised to see Mikado sitting up, rubbing the back of his head. 

"Yes, I quite agree," he said, surprising her even more. "Perhaps I was wrong." Ranma-chan crossed her arms in front of her. 

"About...?" 

"About my kissing you and how it was your fault," Mikado said quite calmly. "Perhaps it was mine, after all." He looked at her regretfully. "I guess was so upset at the thought of kissing another man, I couldn't think clearly. And I apologize. For both kissing you and for attacking you just now." He looked sincere. At his admission of guilt, Ranma-chan suddenly felt bad about her attitude. 

"Ah, ferget about it," she murmured. "You didn't know I was a guy. And I don't blame you for attacking me; I can't say I was too happy about your kissing me, either." Mikado stood up and walked over towards her. 

"Then shall we call a truce?" Mikado held out a hand towards Ranma-chan. She stared at it for a moment, then shrugged. 

"Yeah, whatever." She put her hand in his, in a firm handshake. Mikado smiled at Ranma-chan. Then he leaned down and... 

Fortunately, she saw it coming this time. Quickly, she grabbed him by the shoulders and rolled them both into a nearby hot bath. There was a loud splash. After a moment, both surfaced from the water, gasping for air. Ranma, now male, glared at Mikado. The taller boy looked at him, and shrugged. 

"Sorry, force of habit," he said, without a trace of remorse. Ranma sank into the water, thoroughly disgusted. 

xXx 

Outside of the municipal skating rink, Akane stood waiting. Finally, the person she was waiting for walked out the front doors. She approached her fiance. 

"So, how did it go?" 

"Piece of cake," replied Ranma airily. Akane looked skeptical. 

"Really?" 

"Yep. Well... I did have to beat some sense into his thick skull first-" 

"Is that so, Mr. Saotome?" 

Ranma flinched involuntarily at the sound of Mikado's voice. The taller boy had appeared behind him, a pair of ice skates slung over his shoulder. He looked at Akane. 

"If you were wondering if Ranma talked to me, then yes, we did have a little... Discussion." He sighed to himself wistfully. _It's a pity he's the pig-tailed girl. Such a waste of beauty..._ His eyes lit up. _And speaking of beauty..._

Mikado approached Akane, taking her hand. Ranma clenched a fist in anger. 

_Don't he ever quit?_ However, to his surprise, the other boy merely bent over Akane's hand, and kissed it. 

"He's an excellent martial artist," he told her. "I hope he takes good care of you." Ranma and Akane blinked in astonishment. 

_Wha..?_ thought Ranma, his jaw dropping. For once, he was at a loss for words. Meanwhile, his fiancee fought back a blush. 

"Uh... Thank you," Akane finally managed to say. After a moment, she took back her hand. Or at least, tried to. Akane looked up at Mikado in surprise. He smiled at her enigmatically. 

Still grasping her hand, Mikado gently pulled Akane towards him. Catching her around the waist, he leaned forward for a kiss. 

For a moment, time seemed to stand still. Then, Mikado sailed into the air, leaving a vapour trail in his wake. Far below him, stood Akane and Ranma, with a fist and foot held up, respectively. 

"He's hopeless..." Ranma shook his head in exasperation, as his fiancee looked disgusted. "Absolutely hopeless." 

END 

xXx 

(End theme: "This Kiss", sung by Faith Hill) 

xXxXx 

Well, that's the end of my first full-length fanfic. :) Hopefully there'll be more in the future (if I actually finish them, that is...) Special thanks goes out to Geary for taking the time to go over the story with me; I especially thank him for his comments and encouragement. 

A couple of notes: 

The M. S. cracks Ranma insults Mikado with are inspired by the subtitled edition of "Darling Charlotte" (in the dressing room, Ranma calls Mikado "Manic Satyr" instead of by his full name). 

The, um, delusional state Mikado is in when he's around Ranma-chan is from the manga. ;) In the manga, Ranma-chan is drawn as if a young child might draw her, which is why I have her acting childish around Mikado. (In the original Japanese, not only is she drawn that way, but her dialogue is also written like a child might write it! Hee hee!) 

That's all, folks! 

Avi, president of the Mikado Sanzenin fan club ;) 


End file.

Ranma, Adventure, Humor