Harry Potter A Sadistic Fairy Tale

**Title**: A Sadistic Fairy Tale

**Author**: Mairi Nathaira

**Rating**: R

**Category**: AU/AR, First-Time, Humour, Romance

**Notes**: This plot bunny attacked me when I was walking home one night. Many thanks to CR for her excellent beta job!

**Summary**: Ron loses a bet to Seamus, and he has to prance around dressed as a girl for one night. He ends up with more than he bargained for.

**Pairing**: Ron/Neville with past mentions of Ron/Terry, Ron/Lavender, Ron/Hermione, and Neville/Hannah.

**Warnings**: Slash, cross-dressing, reversed plot

**Dedications**: None

**Disclaimer**: Harry Potter belongs to Warner Brothers and the wonderful JK Rowling. I do not own them, despite the fact I wish I could own SS, RL, and SB. The only thing that belongs to me is the story itself.

**Feedback**: All comments and criticisms are welcomed there. If it's flame then don't bother for I will put them in my trashcan or blog about it and laugh at you.

* * *

_Life itself is the most wonderful fairy tale._ -- Hans Christian Andersen

* * *

Ron woke up from a restful sleep. As he blearily blinked, he saw Neville's face in front of him. For a minute or two, he watched the peaceful expression, and then he wrapped his arms around his lover, careful not to wake him. He gingerly moved his hip, sensing the soreness in his lower body. He looked around the room and a skirt caught his eyes.

Memories of last night came rushing into him, and he shuddered as he clenched his eyes closed, desperately trying to forget the damn incident. That blasted pink skirt. But the memories stayed stubbornly in his mind. It was then he realised something cold against his neck. His hand touched a necklace, and he groaned loudly.

The sodding necklace! That necklace was the root of all of his problems from last night. Then again, the root of all evil existed in one person.

Seamus fucking Finnigan.

Neville stirred awake, and Ron could see the soft smile on his face. That smile and the shifting he felt against his groin made him forget his current sourness towards Seamus. Ron decided to focus on kissing Neville.

He'd thank and kill Seamus later.

In the meantime, he had other things to take care of.

* * *

"Are you okay with this? Maybe we're going too fast?" Neville asked, planting soft kisses on Ron's neck that made his toes curl in pleasure.

Ron tilted his head and gasped as those wondrous lips sucked on a rather sensitive spot. His girly blouse was unbuttoned and his bra straps had slid off his shoulders. His nipples had gone quite hard, and it felt strange for the lacy, white material to rub against them. "I want this. . . but can you take the bra off? I don't want this, this . . . _scratchy_ thing to be in the way."

Neville backed away and stared, and Ron nearly shivered from the lust-filled brown eyes. In a very husky voice, Neville said, "I will. Soon."

But Neville didn't move. His eyes were the only thing that did move, and they travelled all over Ron's lying form. Ron wasn't quite sure what he looked like right now, but he figured he looked quite silly. With his bra-clad chest, his bunched up pink skirt revealing an equally lacy, white knickers, and his white knee socks showcasing his well-toned legs, he really hoped nobody would come in and see him like this. However, he realised, if it was Neville watching him, he didn't mind. Much. He still preferred to not be in this get up, though.

Neville still only watched him, and Ron could feel himself hardening more under that smouldering gaze.

"Neville," Ron begged. He reached out to grab Neville's shirt. "Please! You know Seamus spelled this necklace where only you can remove these clothes!"

"But I rather like you in them."

"I don't!"

"Well," Neville said in a practical voice -- which didn't fit his current facial expression, "you did sort of get into this mess yourself."

Ron scowled. "Just get these off me!"

"Oh, Ron," Neville chuckled deeply. "Wait a bit." He kissed Ron's neck again, and Ron, against his will, moaned. His moans grew louder as Neville played with his nipples, both going so hard that they made nice indentations against the bra. He squirmed on the bed, his hips trying to rub against one of Neville's legs.

"Nev," Ron gasped. "Stop teasing me!" He couldn't see it, but he could sense the smile against his neck. Before he could yell again, Neville's hands finally reached for the clasp behind him, and the annoying bra finally left him.

For a moment there, Ron wished for the bra to come back on him, but he mentally shook himself away from that train of thought. Neville's tongue swiped at one of his nipples right then, and a jolt of pleasure shot up his spine. He continued to writhe against Neville before he remembered he still had that skirt and knickers on him. And the knee socks. Those really needed to disappear.

For the umpteenth time that night, he cursed at Seamus in his head, but the curse soon turned into murky swirls of pleasure as Neville continue to kiss and suck in areas he had never dreamt possible before.

* * *

Nervousness coursed through Ron as he and Neville both arrived in Neville's cottage at the outskirts of Hogsmeade. He looked at the cream-coloured wallpaper, which sort of calmed him a bit. Plants and flowers were all over the room. He blinked at the rainbow of colours, and he sniffed at the different fragrances amassed there. However, it was the palm tree in the middle of a sitting room that transformed him into a gaping goldfish.

Neville noticed, and he smiled fondly at the tree. "Luna sent me that. She said I needed better ambience, and she said this'll do the trick."

Ron nodded, briefly wondering how a tropical plant like this could survive here. He inspected the tree closely. "Are those coconuts?"

"Yes," Neville admitted, his face turning sheepish. "You want one?"

"Now?" Ron incredulously asked.

"If you want."

"Maybe later," Ron said. "Right now . . . erm . . . " He awkwardly played with the end of his short skirt. He wasn't sure what to do next. He knew what was coming, but he was not sure how to make the next move.

Neville looked nervous, as well. He cleared his throat before he whispered, "You know . . . I didn't mention it earlier . . . but I've always liked you."

Ron stilled his movement and gave Neville a wide-eyed stare. "Really?" But right after that word escaped his mouth, he thought about Neville's confession. He recalled all those times he had seen Neville watching him, Harry, and Hermione in the Gryffindor common room, giving them a strange look. He had done the same in the dorms, giving off weird vibes as he kept on staring at Harry and Ron. It didn't take long for Ron to realise that Neville had that same look as all those male and female had around Harry. Back then, Ron assumed Neville had developed a crush on Harry -- after all, everyone lusted after him. Yet now Neville was telling him that he, Ron Weasley, was Neville's object of desire. "Wait, so all those times in the common room . . . you were watching me? Not Harry?"

"Er, yes . . . " Neville ducked his head a bit. "You noticed it?"

"Yeah . . . and in the dorms, too."

Neville laughed nervously, one his hands rubbing the back of his head, his dark blond locks being combed by the long fingers. "And I thought I was pretty secretive about it . . . I mean . . . I didn't think I had any chance since I thought you were with Hermione . . . "

"Yeah, well, she was the wrong gender . . . " Ron said nonchalantly. Inside, though, he felt overwhelmed and amazed that someone had liked him for this long.

"Can . . . " Neville licked his lips. "Can I kiss you again?"

"Er . . . " Ron's voice sounded off. He stared at the pink tongue, and he wondered since when did tongues in general began to have this powerful effect on him. _Probably since he kissed and licked your tonsils earlier_, a voice in his head said, sounding suspiciously like Hermione's bored lecture voice. As Ron hesitated, he saw Neville's rejected expression, and he quickly blurted, "Yes! Kiss me again!"

But Neville didn't look convinced. "You sure?"

"Yes!" A surge of energy ignited inside of Ron. He grabbed Neville by the shoulders, forcing their chests, their hips, and their lips to meet in a clash. It wasn't a smooth kiss. It was rough as their teeth and their noses bumped into each other. Feeling embarrassed, Ron tried to break apart, fully intending to apologise for his clumsiness, but Neville's large hand rested on the back of his head, and that prevented him from going anywhere.

Ron wasn't sure who groaned into the kiss first. Ron could barely think as he felt that tongue in his mouth again, and he allowed his own to move against Neville's. Their bodies moved as well, and Ron found himself against a closed door.

Neville ended the kiss, and Ron panted as he leaned heavily against the door. Gulping some air into his deprived lungs, he noticed Neville's lips to be quite pink -- no thanks to the lipstick he wore -- and he said, "That was good." Really, Ron was rather curious on how and where Neville learned to be such an excellent kisser.

"Oh . . . it's nothing." Neville shrugged modestly. "Is it okay if I take this out?" He reached out and tugged on the maroon hair ribbon.

"Please!" Ron pleaded. "I hate maroon!"

As that horrible ribbon fluttered to the ground, a hand on Ron's waist drifted lower. Ron's breathing quickened. Neville's hand slipped under the skirt and cupped one of Ron's arse cheeks. Fingers traced indecipherable patterns through the softness of the knickers' material, and Ron grew more randy as the fingers teased him. Ron shuddered against Neville's hard body, and he wondered just how Neville seemed to find his areas of weaknesses that well.

Just as Ron was going to ask if Neville was that good at Divination, he felt a gentle nip at his ear, another one of his more susceptible spots. Ron shivered from the contact, and he almost missed what Neville said next.

"Let's move to the bed."

The door behind Ron opened, and he found himself looking forward to what came next.

* * *

Ron stomped over to the loo, nearly twisting his ankle due to the heeled monstrosities he was wearing. His blue eyes flashed with anger, and he shoved hard against the door, not caring that it slammed right behind him. He walked up to the sink and glared at his reflection. He saw that his mascara -- or was it kohl? -- had smudged on the side of his eyes. He hated how cakey his face looked from all that crap applied on him, and he hated that maroon hair ribbon the most!

Ron also had a headache from that perfume he wore, which was too strong for his liking. He looked downright foolish, and he felt that way, too. Especially since he couldn't believe what Seamus had told him about the necklace.

"One true love my fucking arse. Just where am I supposed to find him, if they even exist?!" he muttered to himself, his hands gripping hard on the sink as his knuckles turned white.

The door opened, and he saw Neville walking in, a worried expression on his face. "Are you all right, Ron?"

"No," Ron seethed. "I'm currently thinking of ways to torture a certain Irish man."

"Oh? In what ways?"

"I'm thinking of a way to hex his balls to the Andromeda galaxy and make them stay there."

"I see," Neville said, his eyes twinkling. "I'd help with that, but I'm afraid I'll accidentally hex mine there."

Neville's mood calmed Ron's a bit, and Ron tugged at the skirt. It wouldn't slip off, and Ron groaned. "I'll kill Seamus."

"Well, I'm sure you can ask Hermione to come back from France to help you for a day?" Neville suggested.

Ron gaped at Neville. "You . . . you haven't heard?"

"Heard what?"

A frown came on Neville's face, and Ron couldn't help but find it quite cute. He cleared his throat. "Ah, er, I'm not with Hermione anymore."

"Oh! I'm sorry," Neville stammered with a blush. Ron smiled. This was the Neville he remembered from Hogwarts.

"It's okay. It's just . . . " Ron paused. "It's just a bit embarrassing that she'd be the one to figure out that I prefer the guys before I figured it out on my own."

"Wait, wait. You fancy men?" Neville's head snapped up quickly, and Ron forced himself to not shiver at the intense gaze.

"Uh, yes?" Ron awkwardly brushed his fringe out of his eyes, and he blinked, his eyelashes feeling quite stiff.

"Oh. Well. I do, too," Neville tucked his hands into his robes pockets. "I . . . er . . . yeah."

Ron blinked some more. "I thought you were with Hannah."

"Well, I tried, but she and Hermione must think in the same manner, since she knew before I did. Maybe girls whose names start with an 'H' have some sort of radar that lets them know it all?" Neville joked, letting loose a weak laugh.

Ron laughed feebly as well. "I guess . . . " He pondered on why he didn't hear about Neville's sexual orientation before. Then again, it wasn't like he went around telling everyone and their grandmothers he was gay, so Neville must have kept it to himself, too.

A long silence came between them, and Ron took the time to study Neville's body in the mirror's reflection. He noticed that he and Neville were about the same height -- without the heels that is -- but Ron was less broad than Neville. Ron marvelled at the strong shoulders and the chest, and he wanted to wrap his arms around the shoulders, feeling the muscles on Neville's back. He also looked at Neville's lips and the stubble, and he wished he could rub his own stubble-free cheeks to feel its scratchiness.

Dressing up as a girl was surely affecting him in a strange manner because he couldn't believe he was thinking of Neville in this manner. Not that it was a bad thing per se, but he'd never looked at Neville like that, but now it felt like he was looking at Neville in a new way.

Was Neville also looking at him differently? Was that a hungry look in Neville's eyes? Ron wasn't certain, since that look was so fleeting, but Ron suddenly had the urge to lean over and kiss Neville.

_Down, brain. Down! And you stay down, too!_ Ron closed his eyes hard as he tried to imagine something a bit more disgusting. Something dealing with McGonagall. Her and something that looked like a dominatrix outfit.

"Well, maybe we should go back to Seamus and ask him if there's another way to remove your . . . outfit and that necklace?" Neville's voice broke through his inner thoughts.

"Wha--? Oh. Yeah. Maybe." Though, knowing Seamus, he probably didn't have any other solutions to this predicament. Yet they should leave the loo. The smell bothered Ron.

Turning on his heels, Ron tripped over them, and he crashed into Neville's strong chest. His own arms automatically wrapped around Neville's neck.

"Whoah!" Neville exclaimed, his arms going around Ron's waist.

Ron could feel his face turning bright red, and he stammered, "Damn heels!"

"You okay? You didn't twist your ankle or anything, did you?"

Ron looked up into Neville's concerned face, and he realised then just how close they were from each other. With their close proximity, Ron swore he could feel the stubble against his own cheeks, even with the tiny gap that separated them. His eyes looked downward, and he could see the tempting lips, and Ron remembered Neville's question and mumbled, "My ankles are okay." As he talked, his breath ghosted over Neville's lip, and he heard Neville's sharp intake of breath. He could feel something cackle between them, and for the first time in his life, Ron knew exactly what those "eletrisitree" was.

Who moved next, Ron wasn't sure. Maybe both of them did. Maybe he did. Whoever it was, at that moment, Ron found out just how soft Neville's lips were, and he realised that kissing Neville was a thousand times better than kissing Lavender or Hermione. It was even better than kissing Terry, whom he'd gone out for a couple of weeks before. Kissing Neville was like being given the biggest wake-up call in the world. Kissing Neville was a bit awkward, but it stirred something deep inside of him, and he liked it.

The kiss deepened, and Ron's waist tingled when Neville tightened his hold. He pressed himself closer into Neville's warm body, his hands beginning to play with the hair at the nape of Neville's neck. Neville's tongue licked his lips, making Ron part them, and Neville explored inside his mouth, and Ron's knee weakened. He leaned against the sink, but the cold ceramic touched the back of his thigh, where his skirt had went up, and that jolted him to break apart from the mind-blowing kiss.

Neville quickly let go, and Ron immediately regretted the loss of his touches. An apologetic look came on Neville's face, but before Ron could hear the forthcoming apology, Neville's eyes widened. "The necklace."

Ron hadn't expected that. "What?"

"That red jewel . . . it's not red."

"Huh?" Ron spun around to look himself in the mirror, and he saw that Neville was correct. The necklace had changed. The red jewel was now glowing yellow. "What the hell?"

The necklace continued to glow brightly when someone walked into the loo. That someone happened to be Seamus, who upon seeing Ron's necklace, grinned like a fool. He looked between Ron and Neville, and he said, "Ah-ha! You found your true love!" He clapped both of them on the shoulders. "Have fun you two!" He flounced away, leaving them in the smelly loo, apparently deciding to go do his business elsewhere.

Ron stared at the closed door with shock all over his face, and Neville's face matched his.

Neville turned to look at Ron, and with a sheepish grin, he said, "I guess the spell's broken?"

"Yeah . . . " Ron looked at Neville with a chaste smile. Neville was his "true love"? Ron really would have never guessed, but he didn't mind at all. In fact, he was only sorry they discovered this in their current situation -- though without Seamus' meddling, they might not have found each other so fast or maybe never. "I, er, yeah." Ron cursed himself for his mental abilities, which seemed to have disappeared since their kiss.

Neville cleared his throat, and he looked quite serious. "Look. Just because some spell indicates me as your 'true love', you . . . ah . . . you shouldn't feel forced by it."

Ron was being given an exit. Neville was offering him a way out. A part of him wanted to take that exit, but another part of him didn't. Boldly, he said, "What if I'm not forced by it? What if I do want to start up a relationship?" Besides, he suddenly remembered Seamus' other side-effect of the spell dealing with his current attire.

"You do?" Neville's eyebrow disappeared beneath his fringe.

"Yes," Ron said firmly. He wasn't going to back down now. He wanted to maintain some pride at the moment. He only hoped Neville wouldn't toss the idea into the fire; otherwise things would be mortifying.

A long pause came, and Ron started to fidget. Was Neville really going to reject him? What if Neville didn't really feel the same as he did? What if Ron was just jumping to conclusion like he constantly did?

Ron waited, and Neville finally smiled and said, "Let's do it."

"Do what?" Sex? Now? Ron wasn't against the idea, but in a stinky loo?

"Well. No . . . I mean let's . . . you know . . . go out? I mean . . . do you want to come to my place? We can Apparate."

"Oh, er, yeah. Let's get out of here." Ron felt a bit disappointed, and he wasn't sure why. Did he really want to shag Neville now? He did -- his body certainly did. Yet he wasn't entirely sure. Then again, he really should just stop thinking this logically and just go with the flow.

Neville embraced him and said, "I'll Apparate us." With a pop, Ron was glad they were finally departing the loo.

* * *

"What a party," Harry said, grinning at Ron.

Ron glowered. "Yeah. Everyone had fun but me."

"Well, at least you look fetching," Harry's grin disappeared when Ron's glare intensified. "Er, okay, fine, you look rather 'un-fetching'."

Rolling his eyes, Ron stood up from their booth. He grabbed his bag that carried his normal clothes. He glanced at the clock. "I'm changing out of these clothes."

"Okay."

Ron slipped into the loo, and inside one of the stalls, he tugged on his skirt.

It wouldn't budge.

Confused, he tried to unbutton his shirt

The buttons stayed in the holes.

Frustrated, he tried to undo the hair ribbon.

It remained knotted tightly.

Angrily, he tried to unclasp the necklace.

The clasp only pinched his neck.

Finally, he tried to kick the heels off and roll down the knee socks.

He ended up kicking the stall, hurting his feet in the process, and the knee socks were glued to his legs.

"What the fuck?!" Ron grabbed his bag, stormed out of the loo, and headed straight towards Seamus, who was too busy lip wrestling with some random witch. He grabbed Seamus' shoulder and pulled him apart. Snarling softly, he asked, "Why can't I remove this hideous outfit?"

Seamus gave Ron an innocent look. "What are you talking about?"

"I did my part. I waited until it was midnight like that Cindrelly thing or whatever to try to take these clothes off. Nothing will come off of me!"

"Oh, it's midnight already?" Seamus asked, glancing at his wristwatch.

"Yes!"

"Did you also kiss your prince?"

That threw Ron off, and he backed away with a befuddled expression. "What prince?"

"Oh, wait! I'm sorry! This completely slipped my mind! You see, the spell I used on the necklace prevents you from removing the clothes until it's after midnight _and_ after you kiss your one true love! And after that kiss, he'll be the only one capable of removing the clothing from you!" Seamus announced in a loud voice. Everyone still at the party could hear his foghorn voice, and Ron turned pink at this proclamation.

"What is this 'one true love' bullshite?!" Ron thundered. "Seamus Finnigan! Why did you not tell me this sooner?"

"Sorry, mate! I can't be arsed to remember everything! At least I remembered the Cinderella twist! I just completely forgot the Little Mermaid thing! Or maybe that's the Beauty and the Beast curse?" Seamus looked at the distance with a pondering look on his face.

Angrily, Ron threw his bag in Seamus' face. Ignoring everyone in the room, Ron escaped from this unwanted and unexpected embarrassment.

* * *

Parvati and Lavender -- the latter grabbing him harder than necessary -- dragged him into the club where the party was held. Seamus followed behind, and Ron turned to glare at him. "You're a sick fuck, you know that?"

"Ah, but I'm a lovable sick fuck," Seamus countered back. "And Ron? Smile. You look very ugly with that frown."

"How can I smile when I am pissed off at you?"

"Hey, mate. You're the one who lost the bet. Suck it up!"

They walked inside, and everyone stopped and stared at them. More specifically, they stopped and stared at Ron. Ron flushed red from head to toe, and he swore he'd get his revenge on Seamus one of these days!

Somebody let out a whistle. It was Ernie. "Looking good there, Ron! Oi, Seamus, is that your new girl?"

"Piss off, man!" Seamus called back. "Ron's a looker, but he's lacking several assets!"

They laughed, and Ron wanted to attack them. Before Ron could punch Seamus or Ernie, Harry walked up to them. "Ron?" His green eyes blinked behind the spectacles. "Why are you . . . ?"

"Oh, he's just living up a bet he lost, Harry. It's not permanent, don't worry," Parvati spoke up.

"Yeah, a shame, since he looks quite smashing with those eye make-up," Lavender added.

Ron's lip thinned out into a line, and he yanked his arms out from the girls' grips. Unused to heels, he clomped his way into a corner, with Harry following him.

"Ron?" Harry shouted over the blaring music.

"Don't, Harry. Please, don't say anything." Ron turned to face his friend, and he saw Harry valiantly trying to hide a smile.

"I can't even compliment you?"

"Shut up."

Harry sighed. "I'll go get us a drink. You look like you intend to hide in this corner. What do you want?"

Ron closed his eyes, wishing midnight would hurry up and come. "Just get me something strong. Maybe I can get pissed, knock myself out, and forget about this whole thing."

"Sounds like a plan. Too bad your alcohol tolerance is high up into the stratosphere, though"

Before Ron could ask what a "stranglesphere" was, Harry walked away. Sulking, he sat down at the booth, setting his bag down on the floor. He resisted the urge to bang his forehead on the table. Instead, he observed the party. He watched Ernie and Justin flirting with Parvati and Lavender. From a distance he saw Anthony and Terry sipping on their drinks. Ron was glad Terry hadn't said anything to him. It would be very awkward for a former boyfriend to comment on his current attire.

At the entrance, someone walked in, and at first Ron didn't recognise the bloke. However, when he looked closer, he saw that the bloke was Neville, and Ron's mouth dropped opened at that recognition. Neville certainly had changed since he'd last seen him. What changed the most was the way Neville was carrying himself. Gone was the boy who used to walk the corridors at Hogwarts with uncertainties and nervousness. When Neville turned, Ron didn't see the back all slouched like before. Now the back stood up straight and proud. Neville looked really good with that new confidence of his.

Seamus walked up to Neville and slapped his back. Ron saw Seamus sniggering. He watched Seamus' fingers pointing in his direction, and Neville looked over. "Oh, fuck," Ron muttered. Was Seamus going to tell everyone here that Ron Weasley was dressed up as a girl tonight?

Neville left Seamus and headed towards the corner, and Ron felt his hackles rising. Like Ernie, was Neville going to tease him?

"Hi, Ron," Neville said, giving him a gentle smile. "Why are you hiding out here?"

Ron tried not to be short with Neville, but he really didn't have much patience at the moment. "I'm sure the answer's obvious."

Back in Hogwarts, Neville would have started to apologise in a stuttering voice, but he didn't do that this time. All he said was, "Well, it's only for tonight, right? Either way, we know you're not a girl. You're still Ron regardless of what you look like."

Something about that simple explanation calmed Ron down a notch. Really, Neville was an innocent bystander, and Ron didn't need to snap at him. "How've you been?" He gestured at Neville to have a seat in the booth across from him.

Neville sat, and he laced his sturdy looking fingers before answering. "I've been well. I've been studying under Professor Sprout. She's intent on making me her replacement soon. She wants to retire."

"You'll make a good professor," Ron admitted. With Neville's current disposition and his self-assurance, Neville would make an excellent teacher. "I still have some Auror training to do before being a full-fledged Auror."

"I see. Well, you'll make a good one, I reckon."

Harry showed up then, and he greeted Neville. "Hey, Nev. Long time no see."

"Same here."

Harry handed Ron his drink, and Ron sipped, feeling the burning sensation in his throat as the liquid slid down.

"Do you want a drink?" Harry offered Neville.

Neville stood up. "I'll go get some myself. Thanks, though. I have to go talk to Anthony." He turned and gave Ron a soft smile. He patted Ron on the shoulder, and Ron's shoulder felt warm from that touch. "I'll talk to you later." Neville walked away, and Ron's eyes followed the retreating figure.

Harry's cough broke his gaze. "So any guys propose to you yet?"

Ron scowled at Harry. He decided there was no point in answering to that ridiculous question. "Just let me know when it's midnight."

* * *

Seamus gleefully led Ron into a room, where Parvati and Lavender waited like two soldiers ready to do some huge battle.

Ron did not like their devious glints in their eyes.

"Okay, ladies! Feel free to make him pretty!" Seamus stepped back, handed the clothes to the girls, and sat in a chair towards the entrance, looking like a guard.

Ron gulped.

Parvati and Lavender studied him for a few minutes, muttering something about the seasons, and then he was told to strip to his boxers.

"Why?" Ron demanded.

"Because we said so. Now strip, Won-Won!" Lavender commanded.

Defeated, Ron stripped, and he immediately felt self-conscious. As he stood there, Parvati pointed her wand at him. Before Ron could stop her, she said a charm that made his leg hairs disappear, leaving his legs smooth and silky.

"Parvati!" Ron yelped. "Give me some warning before you raise that thing at me!"

"Sorry," Parvati said, not sounding sorry at all. "Now, raise your arms. We should get rid of the hairs there, too."

"I don't think that's necessary," Ron snapped.

"It is!" Lavender insisted. "Put those hands up!"

For the next two hours, Ron wished he could just be in one of Umbridge's detentions instead of going through this hell. After they were happy to get rid of almost all body and facial hair, they forced him to go change his boxers into a girly knickers with the pink skirt. He came back out, and to his mortification, the girls helped him into a bra. Ron stewed as he thought of ways to commit suicide, but he decided it was bad form to chicken out on this now.

When Ron wore those girly clothes, Parvati and Lavender experimented with make-up on him. They used Merlin knows what on him. All he knew was that they were using all the colours of the rainbow on him before finally coming to a conclusion on the colours. They applied it on him -- nearly poking his eyes out with a pencil and a gooed up brush of some sort -- and then it was time to mess around with his hair.

His hair, which was already long and shaggy with curls, was straightened by a spell. They then did something with his fringe. That dreaded maroon hair ribbon was styled into his hair, and Ron wished he could tear that thing off of him. Finally, they sprayed some alcohol-smelling thing on his hair, and they also made him use some perfume. Ron wasn't sure how much they put on him, but the smell was quite powerful.

"Not bad," Seamus commented from his seat. "Now, you just need to put on those shoes."

"Yeah, wear these Mary Janes. We've spelled it to have some high heels," Lavender said.

"Lucky me," Ron muttered. His large feet slipped easily into them. He looked at himself in the mirror, and Ron wasn't pleased by what he saw. He looked really bizarre. His face was not his face, and his body felt and smelled weird!

He opened his mouth say something, but Parvati beamed at him. "You look fantastic."

Ron gave the girls a fierce look, but they brushed it off and shooed him away.

"Now, it's our turn to dress up. You boys wait outside," Lavender said.

Ron nearly broke his neck when he took his first step on the heels. Luckily, or maybe not quite so luckily, Seamus caught him, and with his help, Ron managed to walk out of the room.

Outside, Seamus pulled out a necklace. It was on a simple gold chain, and a red-coloured, oval-shaped gem, on a bed of gold that bordered the jewel, hung off of it. Seamus put it on Ron. "There. That should do it."

"I guess I should be glad you're not making me pierce my ears to wear earrings," Ron grumbled unkindly.

"Oh! Good idea!"

"No!"

"Fine, fine." Seamus eyed him. "You look great. And before I forget, that necklace has been charmed with a spell."

"What," Ron asked, trying to control his voice, "spell did you cast on this thing?"

"It's a spell that will prevent you from taking anything off of you until midnight. Meaning, if you try to sneak your way to change clothes, it will not leave you until the stroke of midnight. Think of it as a reverse Cinderella spell."

Ron didn't know who this Cinder thing was, but whatever or whoever it was, Ron was not pleased by this revelation. "You're a sadistic bastard."

"I know. And damn proud of it!"

* * *

Ron learned a valuable lesson. Two valuable lessons, actually.

The first lesson was very straightforward: Never ever bet with Seamus Finnigan.

The second lesson was more of a realisation: Gryffindors are more sadistic than Slytherins.

Whoever said Slytherins were sadistic had never met Ron's Gryffindor friends.

When Ron saw the outfit Seamus had for him, Ron almost decided he'd rather befriend Draco Malfoy than wear that outfit which also consisted of a maroon hair ribbon.

Really, maybe it was time for him to make new friends.

Or better yet, he decided to never, ever bet with a Gryffindor again.

Words: 5596

Completed March 7, 2010


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Harry Potter, Humor, Romance