Harry Potter 1. Bitter Old Hags

All right, this is the final story off of my inspiration burst.  I have two continuing stories, which I haven't updated in like months! And I don't think I need to add to my workload. Anyway, I just have to put this story out coz I think its really cute.  Its totally AU staring the Marauders and Lily and a few other characters.  Its AU coz its set in modern times. Some characters are also a bit off character (i.e. obsessive Lily and a very cynical Remus), but the rest are probably close to what they are supposed to be. Imagine it like a teen movie if you please.  I do not own anything! This is my first try on creating a romantic fic.  Please read and review.

Chapter 1: Bitter Old Hags 

***********************

Bettina Willoughby moaned as the sun's light hit her eyes, urging her to wake up.  She reached out and grabbed her bed hangings and swung it to cover the sunlight.  She tried as she may to go back to sleep when two girls came into their dormitory, chattering and giggling away.

  "Then he said to meet him in front of the school tonight!" one of them giggled, as the other squealed like a baby pig.  About this time, Bettina had had enough.  She threw her scarlet red hangings aside and cleared her throat out loud.  The girls stopped and looked at her, both completely indignant. 

  "Do you mind," she said, trying to conceal her grogginess, "but some people prefer not to hear the babbles of shallow airheads this early in the morning. If you like squawking, then go to the Owlery where most birds like your species prefer to squawk."    

She swung her hangings to cover herself again and waited as the two girls went out mumbling furiously.  _Miserable gits_, she thought as she slowly got up from her bed.  She robbed her eyes and noticed that she was the only one still asleep in the dormitory again.  Yawning, she got up and walked over to her drawer to take out a towel.  As a seventh year in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, one knows the castle-school very well.  At the far right of the room, there was a painting of an old Victorian lady knitting a shawl.  She walked over there and pulled on the thread the lady was knitting with.  The painting slowly creaked open and revealed a descending staircase.  She climbed down the spiral staircase and arrived at a door that had a gold letter "P" on it.

  "Password," a voice within the door asked.

  "Bubbly toes," said Bettina.  The door swung open revealing a magnificently large bathroom.  It was the prefects' bathroom of Hogwarts, and Bettina had entered one of its secret passages coming from the four houses.  To Bettina's relief, no one at the moment was using it.  She hopped in one of the showers and turned on the water.

After a quick shower and toothbrush, she got back to her dormitory using the same passage she had used to enter the bathroom.  When she got there, she quickly got dressed into her Hogwarts uniform and gathered her things and put them into her messenger bag.  She brushed her long, wavy raven-colored hair and put it up in a pigtail.  Casting one more look at her reflection in the mirror, she went down the dormitory staircase, to the busy common room, and out the portrait hole without even saying hello or good morning to anyone she came across.  She pushed the portrait opened and climbed out of it.

  "Well, good morning to you!" greeted the Fat Lady.  "My, my, aren't we late again this morning!"

Bettina shot her a cold glance with her stony-gray eyes and scowled.  She then continued to walk down the stairs.

  "Woke up on the wrong side of the bed again, eh?" the Fat Lady called after her.  

  "Fat bitch," she mumbled, trying to ignore her laughs echoing throughout the corridor.

As she made her way down the corridors to the Great Hall, she had her eyes straight ahead and ignored the stares and whispers from groups of people about her as she passed by.  As far as she can remember, kids have always feared her, but she didn't care.  She didn't want to waste her time with people who only cared about how they looked and what are the best parties to go to. At last, she had arrived at the entrance hall.  She passed crowds and saw a glint of shiny red hair sitting alone at the Gryffindor table.  She made her way to this red head.

  "Hey," she greeted her best friend, Lily Evans, and helped herself with some bacon, eggs, and toasts.

  "Hey," Lily answered without looking up.  She was busy writing on a parchment to pay attention to her best friend. 

Bettina raised one eyebrow and stretched her neck a bit to see what her friend was doing.  Then she reached out and grabbed Lily's parchment.  She slightly frowned at picture she was staring at.  It was a picture of the celebrity Lily admired-nay, obsessed with-and had hearts, flowers, smiley faces, etc. around him. 

  "Orlando Bloom?" Bettina asked Lily.  "'To love is not just to grant physical contact but a deep spiritual connection as well'?"

  "Very cool, right?" grinned Lily.  "I made up the quote myself."

  "You do know that stalking is illegal in Britain, right?" Bettina remarked, handing the parchment back to Lily. 

  "It's not stalking.  It's _admiring_," she retorted.  "Besides, it's not my fault nobody in this school is as mysterious, handsome, and wonderful as him," she added, stroking the picture of the half-smiling actor.  (A/n: so true…in my case anyway)

  "Please, Lily, you're scaring me," she said, taking a large gulp of her orange juice.  "On the other hand, you do have a point.  Boys here are so immature.  Not to mention sweaty and puerile gender incapable of showing emotions of love and compassion to the opposite sex."

Lily stared at her best friend with slight amazement.  "You know, Bee, you are the only one I know in Hogwarts that can give good synonyms for jerkface and butthole.  I know two boys who are the exact opposite of what you described.  The only thing is that they are dating each other."  She looked at the Hufflepuff table and shuddered. 

At that moment, silence came over them as Lily went on to decorate her parchment, and Bettina sat eating her food quietly.  Her eyes traveled around the Great Hall to the Slytherin table.  She caught sight of Evan Rosier and his new girlfriend, the queen of all things superficial, Prudence Curtis.  Your basic most popular girl in the entire school with curly light brown hair and big blue eyes, Prudence is that girl who every girl wants to be and every boy wants to screw.  She was giggling a high pitch giggle as she fed Evan some orange slices.  Bettina looked disgusted as she watched they exchanged spit as they kissed each other.  Lily saw her staring and followed her gaze.    

  "Ah, public display of affection.  Someone should make it illegal.  I mean that's how millions of teenage girls get pregnant every year."

Bettina remained silence as she looked away from the couple.  Somehow, for some strange reason, everywhere she looked she would see a couple being cuddly and romantic.  Her heart cringed at the very sight, which made her scowl.  She turned to her best friend and said,

  "We're bitter old hags, aren't we?"

  "Nah-uh, us? No way.  We're young.  Bitter young hags," Lily answered as she put her parchment away (not without kissing it, of course).  "Better yet," she added thoughtfully, "we're more beautiful than hags.  I mean they're very ugly, aren't they? So we're bitter young and pretty hags."

Bettina furrowed her brows.  "Is there such a thing?"

Lily nodded.  "Yeah, us."

Bettina smiled slightly at her friend and finished her toast.  "Better to be bitter than obsessed with a boy who would never share the same feelings as me in a million years.  No offense," she added to her friend.

  "None taken.  So did you study for the Charms test?"

  "All night, that's why I slept in again.  I don't know you could ever like it.  It's a terrible subject."

The bell rang as the signal for the start of morning lessons.  Lily and Bettina got up of the table, gathered their things, and filed out of the Great Hall towards the dungeons for the lesson of the day-Potions.

  "I don't know how you could like Potions.  It's a horrid subject.  Charms is so much easier than Potions."

  "It is not about the level of difficulty, Lily, it's learning about why people are they way they are-desperate, scheming, and neurotic.  It's humanity at its finest." 

  "Ah, humanity," remarked Lily dryly.  They descended down the stairs to the Potions dungeon, where many of the Gryffindors are already standing, waiting for the Potions Mistress, Professor Bennett.  Since it was Double Potions, the Gryffinors would be having their lessons with the Slytherins.  Lily and Bettina spotted their two other friends, Frank Longbottom and Lorelai McAllister.  Frank was a stout boy with brown hair, and Lorelai was a tall, beautiful girl with long, golden curls. The two were both waiting outside with the rest of the Gryffindors.  

Frank saw them coming and said, "Hey, just a reminder, we have a gig tonight.  It's Tom Macmillan's Hufflepuff party.  It starts 7:30, but we have a sound check an hour before the party starts so you might want to be there at 6:30."

  "6:30? Got it," said Lily.  The four of them had a band called "The Shrunken Heads."  They were Hogwart's only rock band.  Frank played the drums, Lorelai played the bass, Lily played the lead guitar, and Bettina was vocals and played the back-up guitar.   

  "I might be late.  _Voice of Hogwarts _kind of thing," said Bettina.  

  "Right, you three do know where it is right?" asked Frank.  

  "Yeah, it is at that empty hall next to the kitchens," replied Lorelai.

  "And the password?"

  "Of, course." 

Just then the Potions Mistress, Professor Alice Bennett came and let them in the dungeons.  She was a woman with dark hair, which was always in a bun, and a kind personality.  Professor Bennett was somebody who Bettina admired, because of their shared passion for Potions.  

  "Come in, come in, we have a lot of things to cover today," the Professor said, as the 7th year students filed in.  "Get into groups of two and I will explain what we will do today."

*    *    *

  "Am I doing this right?" asked a very nervous Lily, as she poured armadillo bile in a boiling cauldron.  

  "Yeah, just pour that in and let it simmer, then take it out of the fire," answered Bettina, who was finishing up her potion.  They were busy working on their Creature-Altering Potion for about an hour now.  They were to test it with each other after they had finished to see what kind of animal each would turn into.  The Professor had provided an antidote to switch the student back into a human.  After they had performed their experiment, they would have to gather their observations and conclude the experiment in a lengthy essay.  

Thomas Wilkes, a Slytherin who thinks that every girl in the school wants him, walked past the two.   "Hey, Lily, look it's your boyfriend.  Why don't you give him a kiss?" he said as he held up a piece of parchment with a stick boy drawn on it.  Lily's lips quivered but she held her tears back.  She wasn't about to let someone like Wilkes torment her.   

  "Can I ask you a question, Lily," he continued.  "Does it require an Head Girl to be mental challenged?" He laughed a boisterous laugh. 

  "Why don't you back off, Wilkes," said Frank stepping right in front of him.  Frank was about a foot smaller than him, nonetheless, he stood up confidently against him to defend Lily.  

  "And what are you going to do, you pudgy git?" sneered Wilkes.  "Are you going to punch me?"  He stepped forward so that he was an inch close to Frank.

  "Well, I-I thought about it but why do we need all these violence anyway, right?" he said nervously.  "In fact, I'm going now in-in peace." He walked quickly behind Lorelai, who was in the next table, and hid behind her.     

Bettina stood watching all of this and had enough.  As Wilkes turned to her, she cast him a dark look.  Wilkes smiled his toothy smile at her.  "Bettina, love, why don't you come over to our table sometimes.  Maybe we could-you know-do something more personal?"  He moved closer to her so that she can smell his breath that still smelt like breakfast.  It made her feel like vomiting. 

  "Yes, Wilkes, why don't we do something more personal," she said, as she grabbed her bottle of potion.  "In fact, why don't we do it now?" She splashed her potion on his face and watched him shrink to about a half foot and turned green to turn into a… "Oh, look, Slytherin's horny horned toad," she remarked as she looked down at the pile of clothes that used to be Wilkes.  He hopped out of the pile and croaked.  He hopped towards his Slytherin friends.  Bettina, Lily, Frank, and Lorelai watched as Prudence turned around and saw Wilkes the toad hopping towards her.  She shrieked loudly and pulled Evan in front of her to shield her from the toad.  Severus Snape, an oily haired Slytherin, tried to catch Wilkes but he hopped away from him.  The dungeon rang with noise as the Gryffindors and Slytherins were in a frenzy trying to catch the toad.  

  "Everyone, please calm down…Ms. Curtis, please calm yourself…somebody please get that toad!" shouted Professor Bennett, trying to subdue the class.  She finally got the class to be quiet by a loud bang from her wand.  "Thank you, now, please hand over that toad, Mr. Snape."

Severus came to the front of the room and handed the quivering toad to the Professor.  "Who is this toad?"

  "Thomas Wilkes, Professor," he answered.  Professor Bennett looked around the dungeon with her eyes narrowed.

  "All right, who is responsible for this act?"  

Everyone looked at Bettina.  "What?  Well, I didn't do anything that hasn't already been done.  I just merely returned him back to his normal state.  You know, like back to his species?" The Gryffindors sniggered as she said this.  

  "All right, all right, be quiet.  Ms. Willoughby, you have no right to perform that experiment on another student who is not your partner.  For your act of insubordination and lack of self-control, fifteen points off from the Gryffindors and a detention to be served with me tomorrow night."  She turned to Snape and handed him a glass vile, "Take this and go get his clothes.  Just one drop on his head and he will back to normal.  Go to my office and do it there."

*    *    *

Remus Lupin walked quickly past the library and to a classroom.  He glanced at his watch before entering the room.  It was half past one in the afternoon.  He turned the knob and entered a room that seemed to be a news-writing classroom.  There were three rows of table lined in the middle of the classroom, and on these tables were several wooden boards with layouts taped on them.  Several desks were lined up against the walls with old-fashioned typewriters and rolls of parchments.  Many students were busy working on the tables and desks.  This room was where Hogwarts's newspaper, _The Voice of Hogwarts_, was made.  The newspaper came out every Friday, which was the reason for the bustling of the newspaper staff.  Remus made his way towards his desk and put his bag on it.

  "You're late, Remus," said a voice behind him.  It was Bettina, his co-editor in chief.  

  "Hello to you too, Bettina," he sighed, as he handed her a piece of note.  She took it and read the note.

  "In the hospital again?  That is the second time this week.  Did you get your head stuck up your ass again?"

  "Pretty hilarious. Actually, I'm doing great thank you for asking, and you?" 

Bettina gave him a repressive look.  "If you come late again, I will be forced to inform Professor Mcgonagall of your incapability to be a co-editor in chief in this newspaper."

_Forced?_ He thought.  "I'm really glad you care so much for me, Bettina, but, honestly, I would have preferred for you to just give me flowers or sweets, perhaps even a get-well card," he said wryly.     

  "Don't patronize me."  She turned on her heels and walked to the front of the room.

  "You know, Bettina, I am just wondering, but have you taken an extra dose of bitchiness today?" Remus asked as he walked after her.

  "I've taken extra just for you, Remus," she answered, as she halted and clear her throat out loud.  "All right, since Remus was kind enough to come thirty minutes late, I can finally make my announcement.  As you all know, it is Friday, and we will be distributing newspaper throughout the school.  So I will be needing ten volunteers, four from the four different houses and the rest to help in distributing newspapers to teachers.  As it is Friday, we will be working on a new layout for the next issue.  Remus here will be showing and teaching you all how to do it.  Lastly, I need your articles to be turned in here on Wednesday, and no later.  Is that all clear?  Now, get back to work."

Before Remus could turn around and walk away, Bettina held him back.  "I haven't gotten any article from you for two months.  Why is that?"

Remus looked at her for a moment, trying to quickly think of an excuse.  "Bettina, sweetie, sweetheart, honey, dear, love, I have not turned in an article for _a_ month.  And there is a pretty good reason for that, I just don't find anything interesting in this school.  People are all mostly too focused on quidditch, but Jonathan and Alex already covering the games.  Other than that, I just don't find anything else to write.  Unless people are interesting in ways to harass Slytherins, you know, burn all their clothes, and use Snape's underwear as the Slytherin banner, then by all means, I will write about that."

  "Remus, cupcake, honey, baby, my one and only, you do know that we can't have biased views in our newspaper.  You have until next Tuesday to give me all your articles, and no later than that, okay?" she said to him, fixing his shirt collar before turning around to leave.  

Remus stared after to her with mixed feelings of anger and annoyance.  How he hated her so much.  From her square-rimmed glasses to her scowling face, you know, the type of expression that always seemed to hate the world.  Not that Remus is any different, hell, in fact, he's almost the same.  He has been like this since well, since a werewolf bit him ten years ago.  Ever since then, he had lost all his hope in the world.  _It turned its back on me, but not before throwing me several shits along the way.  _It was not that he hated her because of her hate for the world, no, he hated her for her extremely bossiness and superior attitude.  He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice that a 5th year Ravenclaw, Monica, came up to him.

  "Why do you let her boss you around like that?  I mean you two are both editors in chief, yet you let her dictate us around like a general to an army."

Remus looked at her and explained, "Well, you see, Bettina has this illness, a rare and dangerous one, mind you, and that is when she doesn't get her required amount of bossing around, she turns into this hideous monster-big, green, toothy-"

  "You mean, even more than what she is now?" grinned Monica.  

Remus smiled slightly. "Yeah, even more than now.  So to balance things out, I let her boss me around," he said, "you know, just doing my part to society," he added, as he watched Bettina scold a 4th year boy, who is about to cry, and, by the looks of it, is about to wet his pants.

Disclaimers are as follows: title from Michelle Branch, HP characters are from J.K. Rowling, Bettina most certainly owns herself, however, her last name is owned by Jane Austen from Sense and Sensibility, and lastly and sadly, Orlando Bloom is not mine, but a girl can dream! 


	2. Party at Hufflepuffs

Hey! All righty, so this is the 2nd chapter…Oh! I was in such a hurry before that I forgot to add another disclaimer: Prudence Curtis, not mine but Boy Meets World's.  Oh, and to those who are really into the fanfiction guidelines and stuff, well, this will NOT be an actor fic.  Orlando Bloom is just a figure of Lily's (and mines) obsession.  He won't like actually appear in here. Glad we got that out of the way.  He's pretty essential to Lily's storyline. Anyhoo, thank you so much for my first two reviewers…The PenMaster (Orlando is very hot indeed) and Rosekeet (as you wish, James would be in this chapter).

Chapter 2: Party at Hufflepuffs

*******************************

Remus stormed through the Gryffindor common room, up the boys' dormitory staircase, and to the seventh year boys' dormitory.  He was so angry that he slammed the door behind him.  To his surprise, someone shouted out from one of the four-poster beds.

  "No! Please don't take my teddy bear, mummy!"

It was one of Remus's friends, James Potter.  He quickly sat up on his bed and rubbed his eyes.  The dark-haired boy reached over to his side table to get his round-shaped glasses.  

  "Is that you, Remus?" he squinted as he put on his glasses.  His hair stuck out at various places.  This was the trademark of this boyish and intelligent quidditch captain.

Remus raised his eyebrows.  "All right, James?" he asked as he went to his bed to set his things down on it.  "Sounded like you had a nightmare." 

James slightly blushed. "Er, it was nothing.  I just reckoned I ought to take a small nap before practice.  What were you doing banging doors around, anyway?  For a person who just went through another case of werewolf-titis, you seemed to have a lot of energy."

  "Madam Pomfrey gave me an Energizing Potion.  It was suppose to make me feel better but it's not," he grunted as he lay down on his bed.

James looked at his friend, fretting on what he will say next if he asks what was wrong.  He knew that aside from his lycanthropy, Remus had only one other problem-Bettina Willoughby.  However, James was not a bad friend, no, he would always willingly lend an ear.  Sitting back against his headboard, James sighed and said, "So, is there something wrong?"

Remus groaned and got up to pace around the room.  "It's Bettina.  I mean who does she think she is? She is so awful and bitchy.  How could a girl be so much of a cow?  I reckoned she is not really a girl, perhaps she's a demon summoned to make everyone's lives, most especially mine, very difficult."

James stretched his arms. "Why don't you just ask her out? Better yet, why don't you just ask her to marry you?"

Remus stopped pacing and looked at him questioningly.  "Didn't you hear any of the things I just said or falling off your broom numerous times has completely taken its toll on your brain, most especially that part of your brain where you understand your friend's regular ranting?"

  "No," James replied slowly, "I meant that every time I hear you talk about Bettina, all I hear is," he put on a dreamy, falsetto voice, "Oh, Bettina, I love you so much.  I want to be your love puppy.  I want to have your angry children.  Make love to me till the full moon-" He was interrupted by several violent throws of pillows aimed at him.

  "Not funny," mumbled Remus.  "Not funny at all.  If you only knew what she's truly like, then you would understand.  She's the kind of person who will make you feel like a size of a pea.  Then she'll turn on you and mock you and make you turn in your articles that you have not done for a month on Tuesday."

  "I heard she whacked Lawrence from Ravenclaw at the groin with a broomstick," James said thoughtfully.  "Then I heard she tried to poison the whole Slytherin seventh years.  Come to think of it, she seems pretty extreme to me."  

  "Extreme?" repeated Remus.  "No, no, extreme is that the one to describe.  One f-"

Just then a boy came bouncing into the room.  This boy was also one of Remus's friends.  His name was Sirius Black.  A handsome boy who was every girl in Hogwarts's fantasy, he can charm the pants off anyone with his dark eyes and sultry smile.  

  "Hullo, hullo!" He stopped suddenly as he gazed at his two friends-James, who was still lying on his bed, and Remus, who was still pacing around the room. "All right, let's see, by the really annoyed and exasperated expression on my best friend's, James's, face and Remus's pacing in an incredibly straight line, I therefore conclude that this is a Bettina conversation."

  "How did you know?" asked James.

  "Well, she's the only thing he talks about.  Blimey, you should marry her, for Pete's sake."

  "She's not the only thing I talk about," Remus retorted, as he went back to his bed and sat on it. "I talk about other things…"

  "Hey, don't you remember that time you constantly talked about You-know-who (A/N: not Voldemort!), your ex-girlfriend?" interrupted Sirius.  "Blimey, that was irritating."

Remus flinched at the word "ex-girlfriend".  He remembered it all too well- the obsession, the very need to be around her at all times.  "I'm over her, all right?  Besides, I was so much younger back then.  I didn't know what I was doing or saying, at that matter.  For all I care, she's doesn't exist to me.  Completely made-up character out of my very past."

  "That's not the point, Moony.  You've got to stop complaining about this girl.  Make the move, if you really like her, or start looking for someone new.  Move on with your life, mate…"

Remus let Sirius babbled on about girls as he sat back to stare at the roof of his bed.  Did his friends really think that he likes Bettina? He felt his stomach lurch as he thought of this.  _No way, not in a million years, _he thought.  _Not even if I had a chance to be cured of my lycanthropy_.  Just as Remus turned over to cover his ears from Sirius's speech, he felt something protruding the side of his body.  He got up and pulled his blankets back to reveal a pink cotton underwire bra.  He was mortified as he gently picked it up to examine it. _What did I do last night?_ He asked to himself.  He knew he hasn't done that sort of things with anyone since, well, since You-know-who.

  "Now that is what I'm talking about, Moony!" exclaimed Sirius, hitting Remus hard at the back.  "So who's the lucky girl, eh?"

  "I-I don't know.  I wasn't here at all last night," stammered Remus, still gaping at the innocent piece of undergarment.

Sirius looked at it more closely.  "It looks sort of familiar." He took it from Remus's hand and smelt it.  "Hmm…Strawberry sherbet, very sexy.  It smells sort of familiar too."

All three of them remained silent as each thought of what to say next.  James finally got off his bed and joined the two to examine it.  Remus racked his brains for any memories of last night, but could not.  All he could remember was his painful transformation in the Shrieking Shack.  Sirius stared in space as he tried to think about the strange familiarity of this undergarment.  Where has he seen this? After a few moments, it hit him.  He let out a cry of triumph.  

  "I know where I seen this before!" he exclaimed, working towards the door.  "I remembered it all clearly now, well, sort of.  Last night, I took what's-her-face, Lindsay Tawny, out to Hogsmeade for a date.  Then I took her here, and, well…" A dreamy smile spread across his face as he stared at Remus's bed.  Remus, tracing his stare, looked at him horrified.

  "You took her to _my_ bed?!" his voice slightly louder.  

  "Well, I don't really remember.  I was sort of smashed from all of that drinks we had…I remember taking her to the bed nearest to the door."

Remus looked at the door and back to his bed.  It was indeed the nearest to the door out of all the beds in the room.  He backed away from his bed, as if it was to explode any minute.  James, feeling that it was his duty to make things better, said, "So that's why the door was locked last night.  Peter, Frank, and I had to sleep in the common room last night."

  "Hey, I'm sorry, Moony, if it make you feel any better, you can have my bed."

Remus snapped out of his gaze and looked at Sirius for a moment.  Then he turned on his heels and started to leave the room.

  "Moony, where are you going?" Sirius called after him.  

  "I'm going to see if the house-elves can change my sheets," he answered. "Possibly burn them and my clothes as well," he added in an undertone.

*     *     * 

Lorelai McAllister walked confidently along the corridors, earning stares from boys of all ages.  Her long, golden curls bounced softly behind her as she waved casually at a group of Ravenclaw fourth year boys, who in turn, blushed and scurried away.  _You can look but you can't touch_, she smiled to herself.  That was Lorelai's motto in life.  Sure, she could have any boys in the whole entire school, but if she has had learned anything from Bettina, it was to have some of that strong, I'm-too-good-for-some-of-you attitude. Out of the Shrunken Heads, she was the most normal.  She wasn't like Bettina, who hated everything and anything, on the contrary, she was very loving and generous.  She wasn't like Frank who was a bit peculiar (A/N: in a Xander from Buffy way), and she was certainly not obsessive over some guy like Lily.   Sometimes she wonders how she ever acquired a bunch of eccentric friends like them.  Nonetheless, she loved her friends dearly and would never trade them for a more popular crowd.  

She stood right in front of a room and slowly turned the knob.  It was the newsroom and was empty at the moment except for a girl sitting at the largest desk.  Bunches of parchment paper were scattered all over her desk as she was reading a roll of parchment with the quill tip in her mouth.  Lorelai frowned slightly and approached the girl.

  "What are you still doing here? We have a sound check right now, Bee.  Frank is going to have a fit if the lead singer is not there to check if her voice is all right," said Lorelai, hovering around Bettina's desk.

  "I'm sorry, but I must finish proofreading this.  It will go to print Monday," said Bettina, without looking up.

  "Don't you have a co-editor to do these things for you?"

  "Yes, but Remus is incapable of doing anything right," she remarked as she marked the parchment.     

  "Remus Lupin?" 

  "The one and only.  Do you know anyone else who has that awful name?" 

  "Don't say that.  Actually," she trailed off as she examined one of the layout boards, "I think he looks sort of…handsome…in a tortured soul, dark-mysterious-artist-who-will-never-be-appreciated-till-after-his-death way."

Bettina suddenly looked up from her parchment.  "Are you serious? Remus? Handsome? Now there's a sentence I would never hear myself say."

  "Come on," said Lorelai.  "Don't tell me you have never thought of him that way."

  "Better believe it.  I am proud to say that the thought has never crossed my mind, even now that you have said it," answered Bettina firmly. 

Lorelai stared at her friend for a moment as she went back into proofreading her article.  Then she sighed and said, "Bee, when are you going to get over this man-hating phase? I mean there are a lot of guys out there who would definitely love to go out with you."

Bettina laughed out loud as her friend said this.  "The day someone asks me out on a date is when Lily stops obsessing about Orlando Bloom."

*    *    *

  "Do I really have to do this?" asked a very irritated Peter Pettigrew.  

  "Yes, my dear Peter, the sleeker you are, the more girls would want to go out with you," answered Sirius as he put a dollop of oily substance on top of Peter's jet black hair.  

James appeared out of nowhere and was buttoning his shirt.  "Are you two done with that bloody mirror yet?  I need to see if I look good."

Sirius rolled his eyes.  "You don't need to work on anything, James, unlike Peter here who needs all our combined help to look good."  _Even then, he still wouldn't look half as good._

James sighed and looked through his things for a robe.  It was the night of Tom Macmillan's party, and the Marauders were invited to go.  It was rare to have parties in Hogwarts under the very strict nose of the Deputy Headmistress Minerva Mcgonagall, and it was even rarer to have parties at the Hufflepuffs.  Remus quietly entered the room but at the smell of mixed cologne and that oily thing that Peter was putting on made him choked and teary-eyed.

  "What in the bloody hell is that smell?" he gasped, trying to breathe through his mouth.

  "That is the smell of a Hufflepuff party," said Sirius.  "Speaking of which, why aren't you dressed yet?  We are going in ten minutes."

  "Er, I am waiting for my fairy god-mother," Remus suggested wryly, flopping on his bed to watch Sirius combed his hair.

  "Don't tell me you aren't going because you cannot mope around here like a love-sick puppy,"  
said James.  "There are girls in this party, and you should go."  
  "I'm not going and I'm not a love-sick puppy, I'm just sick.  Besides, I have something to do.  I'll get started on my Defense essay."

  "Aww…Moony, don't be the anti-social party pooper that you are.  You are going to the party or else…"

  "I'm not going and you cannot make me.  That's final," said Remus firmly.

Sirius looked at James and smiled evilly.  James got what he meant and turned to Remus.  Remus, looking at his two friends, frowned.  "Guys, oh, no…" But it was too late.  James, the strong quidditch player that he was, grab hold of Remus's arms and pulled him up.  

*    *     *

I'm only happy when it rains   
I'm only happy when it's complicated   
And though I know you can't appreciate it   
I'm only happy when it rains   
  
You know I love it when the news is bad   
And why it feels so good to feel so sad   
I'm only happy when it rains…

Music blared throughout the empty corridor as the Marauders headed to the Hufflepuff party.   They passed the familiar portrait of the fruit basket, a door, and then halted in front of a door with a large boy standing next to it and holding a long piece of parchment.   Sirius approached the boy and was followed by Peter then James and Remus.  James held Remus in a Binding Charm so that he would not run back to the Gryffindor Tower.  

  "I've got a question.  Why are we an hour and a half late?" asked Peter, trotting behind Sirius.

  "Because, Wormtail, Marauders are always fashionable late," said Sirius irritably.  He turned to the boy. "My good lad, is this where the party is at?" he said, flashing the boy a toothy smile.

  "Password?" the boy answered flatly.  Sirius frowned slightly.

  "Furry tails," he mumbled.  The boy opened the door and let the four in.

Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me   
Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me   
  
I'm only happy when it rains   
I feel good when things are going wrong   
I only listen to the sad, sad songs   
I'm only happy when it rains   
  
I only smile in the dark   
My only comfort is the night gone black   
I didn't accidentally tell you that   
I'm only happy when it rains…

  "Well, lads, here we are.  A place blasting with pleasure." 

  "Yes, many bodies writhing with each other sounds like absolute fun," said Remus flatly.  James muttered some spell and Remus felt as if he was lifted off some heavy burden. 

  "Don't be so down, Moony.  You are ruining the atmosphere," said Sirius, as two blond girls passed them by.  

  "What atmosphere?  The smell of cheap cologne and sweaty kids?" he said as he turned to his right, but no one was there.  "Sirius?"  He searched the crowds and found his friend already dancing in between the two blondes.   "So, James, I-" He turned to his left and no one was there.  He searched for his messy haired friend and found him in a middle of a small crowd talking about some quidditch game.  "Well, Peter, I guess it's-" But Peter was also nowhere in sight.  _Damn it,_ he cursed silently.  

You'll get the message by the time I'm through   
When I complain about me and you   
I'm only happy when it rains   
  
Pour your misery down (Pour your misery down)   
Pour your misery down on me (Pour your misery down)   
Pour your misery down (Pour your misery down)   
Pour your misery down on me (Pour your misery down)   
Pour your misery down (Pour your misery down)   
Pour your misery down on me (Pour your misery down)   
Pour your misery down   
  
You can keep me company   
As long as you don't care…

He looked around his surroundings and felt his stomach lurch.  He wasn't really into the party scene.  It wasn't that he was shy, no, he was a bit claustrophobic.  He slowly made his way to the refreshment tables where he found Peter, chattering up with a Hufflepuff.  He took a bottle of butterbeer and opened it.  He stood there next to the table all alone, while drinking his butterbeer.  He didn't care.  All he wanted to do tonight was stay at the Tower to read his Defense book, but no…his bloody friends put him in a full body bind and dressed him up for this party.   

  "Nice music," he heard Peter say to his friend.   He looked up to the platform and watched the band playing.  "So, how did Tom get the Shrunken Heads to play?"

 I'm only happy when it rains   
You wanna hear about my new obsession?   
I'm riding high upon a deep depression   
I'm only happy when it rains (Pour some misery down on me)   
  
I'm only happy when it rains (Pour some misery down on me)   
I'm only happy when it rains (Pour some misery down on me)   
I'm only happy when it rains (Pour some misery down on me) 

  
He was right.  It was the Shrunken Heads.  Remus noticed how familiar the singer was.  She was strumming her electric guitar while singing.  She pulled her hair back and leaned closer to the microphone. 

"I'm only happy when it rains," Bettina sang the last line as Frank did a fancy drum riff and Lily strummed the last notes in her guitar. As the song ended, the crowd on the dance floor cheered.   

  "We'll take five," said Lily through the microphone.  Lily, Lorelai, and Bettina set their guitars down and climbed down the stage to the refreshments table.   They were helping themselves to butterbeers and sandwiches.  While Remus was watching them, a girl approached him.  

  "Hi, you alone?" smiled the girl.  Remus panicked inside.  He didn't like the idea of girls approaching him, strange girls, at that.  He racked his brains for anything that could make this girl go away.  Like a light bulb turned on somewhere in his head, he got an idea.

  "Look, Mr. Slinky, somebody wants to hang out with us," he said in an eager voice.

  "Yes, Remus, a young pretty lady," he answered in a hungry voice.  The girl's expression was a crossed between mortified and appalled.  She turned around and walked quickly away from him.  He watched her disappeared into the crowd and looking very satisfied with himself.  If only Sirius was around to have seen that, he smiled to himself.

  "That was a rather disturbing sight," drawled a voice next to him.  He turned to look at whom it was and it was Bettina, looking superior as usual.  

  "I was just trying to get her to leave me alone," explained Remus. 

  "I don't really care what you were doing.  I was just merely implying that it was disturbing," she said simply, helping herself to some cookies and pastries.  "What are you doing here, anyway?  You don't strike me as the type who would be into the whole party scene."

  "I was dragged here and I don't really care of what you think of me, Bettina," he retorted. 

She raised her eyebrows.  "Down, boy, I was just making conversation.  Don't get your knickers all in a bunch."

  "Conversation?  You mean you are actually making a sensible chat with me?" said Remus in a mock gasp.

  "Don't flatter yourself.  It's my job to make sure everyone's enjoying the show, or else that bloke, Tom, won't pay us.  So, enjoy the rest of the show."  She put on a fake smile and turned around to sit at a couch next to the stage.  Remus took a large gulp of his butterbeer, looking very annoyed. 

Meanwhile, Bettina walked over to the couch and sat down next to Lily.  Frank was nowhere in sight and Lorelai was busy flirting with two boys.

  "Look at her," said Bettina disdainfully, "she's ruining our reputation."

  "Our reputation?" asked Lily.

  "Yeah, as miserable girls who hate boys."

  "Ah, you mean yours.  Look, Lorelai is just being herself.  It's not her fault she is not like you.  I mean you know she has been the boy-magnet type ever since our third year."

  "Yeah, but still."

Lily was about to comment when Frank came up to them.  "Bathroom break.  So, where's Lee?  We have to be on stage in three minutes."

  "Chill, Mr. Longbottom, we have got plenty of time.  Lorelai is over there, speaking to a couple of boys," said Lily.

  "Boys?  But she can't, she'll ruin your reputations," exclaimed Frank.

  "See, I told you. Thank you, Frank," said Bettina.  Lily rolled her eyes.  

Lorelai walked over to them looking a little flushed.  "Well, are we starting yet?"

Remus drank about three butterbeers and was on his fourth when the Shrunken Heads started playing again.  He was sitting on the edge of the table and was extremely wearisome and bored.

  "This song is written by our lead singer, Bettina, and it is truly wonderful and we hope you enjoy it," he heard Lily say. "It's called 'Something to Sleep to'.  1, 2, 3…"

Slow music started up and Bettina started to sing,

She's his yellow brick road  
Leading him on  
And letting him go as far  
as she lets him go  
Going down to nowhere

  "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while.  Are you enjoying the party?" asked James, as he reached over to get some food.  Remus shrugged and watched Bettina carefully.  He had never seen her sing before.  Her eyes were closed as if she was focusing herself at singing the words. 

She puts on her make-up  
The same way she did yesterday  
Hoping everything's the same  
But everything has changed

She slowly opened her eyes and looked far away.  For a moment, Remus thought he had never seen a girl looked so sad in his life.  

In my mind  
Everything we did was right  
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side  
How could I ever have been so blind?  
You give me something to sleep to at night

He wanted to share in her pain, because he felt it so much.  He still stared at her, mesmerized.  Was this how she always is when she sings?

He wakes up to the sound  
So scared that she's leaving  
He wishes she were still  
asleep next to him  
Hoping she will change

  "Hey, are you going to drink that?" asked James, looking at the unopened butterbeer that was in Remus's grasp.  Remus wasn't listening to him.  He was watching Bettina.  He had never seen her so passionate.  Actually, he had never seen her give out any sign of emotion before.  Her whole body seemed to radiate a sort of sorrowful aura.

In my mind  
Everything we did was right  
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side  
How could I ever have been so blind?  
You give me something to sleep to  
at night  
  
You give me something to sleep to  
And all I know is  
You give me something to dream to when I'm all alone and blue  
Don't leave me now  
Don't leave me now

Bettina's eyes were misty.  Damn, I hate when this happens.  All right, Bettina, focus.  End the song first.

Don't leave me now  
Don't leave me now  
Don't leave me now  
Don't leave me now  
Don't leave me now  
Don't leave me now

The door busted open as Bettina was singing the final chorus of the song.  A group of people forced themselves to the front of the crowd, pushing people here and there. 

In my mind  
Everything we did was right  
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side  
How could I ever have been so blind?  
You give me something to sleep to  
Something to sleep to  
Something to sleep to at night

The song ended and there was a tumultuous applause.  Remus could have sworn that he had seen a tiny, shiny tear going down on Bettina's face.  He was distracted by a shout.

  "Man, that was wonderful! Beautiful performance by the Shrunken Heads!" shouted a slurred voice.  It belonged to a half-drunk Severus Snape, who was with his girlfriend.  His usual gang of Slytherin friends surrounded him.  "Hey, I got a question?  Why weren't we invited in this little shindig?  Hufflepuffs think they're too good for us? HA! That's a laugh."

  "Why don't you and your stupid friends get the hell out of here," said Tom Macmillan.

Evan stepped up to his face and said, "Why don't you make us?"

  "That is fine by me," said Sirius, stepping up from the group and in between Evan and Tom.  "I'll take all of you bastards any time."

  "Ooh, I am wetting my pants in fear," taunted Severus.  Sirius let out a laugh and jumped on Severus.  Evan ran up to the two and started punching Sirius.  Out of nowhere, James pulled Evan from Sirius and punched him on the face.  Peter joined the fray as the crowd quickly dispersed.  Most headed out the only exit.  Remus watched as Thomas Wilkes and William Lestrange were ganging up Peter.  He had no choice but to try to stop the fight that was going on.  He walked towards them when someone pulled him around the neck and made him fall backwards. 

All right, a fight was ensued.  Man, this is a long chapter.  Partly because of the songs.  Speaking of which, thank you to my friends, Meggie and Rini, for helping me out in finding the perfect songs the Shrunken Heads can play.  If you have any suggestions on what they can play next, please feel free to do so coz I can't think by myself.  The song "Only happy when it rains" is from Garbage from their self-titled album and "Something to sleep to" is by Michelle Branch from her album, The Spirit Room. Please leave a wonderful review!   


End file.

Harry Potter, Humor, Romance