Gossip Girl 1. Chapter 1

**AN: **_So this is post 6x10, around a year after Dan and Serena got married. Any Derena in this will be shortlived, the endgame in this being Serenate. The only ships involving Blair is Chair- there will be no Dair at all. I really hope you enjoy this, please review! Thank you _

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It was when the yelling began that all seemed to fall apart. Serena had enough of it. Of everything. She'd thought Dan was forever. In fact, he was only a small fragment of her life, a person she'd hoped would soon be in her past. But every time those overwhelming thoughts would fill her mind, she'd only go back to Dan, back into his arms at night. But her forever with his was soon to fall apart, and there was nothing either could do about it.

As Dan clutched the glass of scotch in his hand, words tore through the space between them, his voice raised as he 'spoke' to his wife. His words, almost abusive. The honeymoon period was most certainly over, she thought to herself as she pulled her blonde waves into a thick knot, hurrying over to set the table.

She had to gather herself; she had no choice, really. In just over an hour, her and Dan's closest of friends would arrive, eager to celebrate their first anniversary. Chuck, Blair, Henry, Nate, Eric, Lily and her father. Even Vanessa had flown in from Spain where she now resided to surprise the couple. Only Nate was soon to spill to the blonde as soon as he heard the news of Vanessa's homecoming. Only days ago, Serena had imagined this night to be perfect. To say it was quiet was an understatement, especially when comparing it to past events. To host a good party was in her blood. Growing up, her mother would gladly invite anybody who was someone in their society, and Serena had undoubtedly inherited this trait from her mother.

"Dan.." She sighed, creasing a brow as she took a seat across from him. The apartment was dimly lit, the sun appearing to settle into the horizon as she glanced to the window. Nothing was the same was no spark; no fireworks. All they ever did anymore was pass small remarks between the two of them, sleeping as far away from each other as possible, both of them almost tumbling off the bed each night.

As tension grew, so did Dan's taste for a good drink. Marriage was something that had definitely changed him, and his new reputation in the area had definitely taken it's toll. No one ever suspected poor old lonely boy to be Gossip Girl. To be the one maliciously spreading hurtful lies about his own wife and her closest friends, and to only gain her trust in the end. To Serena, none of it made sense. It took her long enough to realise what exactly he'd done to her, as she scrolled through the Gossip Girl archives one evening when Dan was out. The things he said; the things he'd allowed to be said about her and those she loved. It was ridiculous; pathetic. When she had the nerve to bring it up, to ask him why, it was when the yelling started. Dan grew frustrated, throwing his hands up with a look of rage and frustration. He had no real answer. No answer that could ever bring her to forgive him.

Instead it continued. They'd become more distant as the days went by. It wasn't the fairytale ending Serena was hoping for.

"What?" The man lifted an eyebrow, taking a moment to glance at his wife, his focus still on the newspaper that lay on his lap. Serena stood up, her hands locked together as she nervously walked over to him.

"I think we should get ready. I have a suit laid out on the bed for you, if that's what you choose to wear, I mean." The man who now seemed so unfamiliar to her grunted, letting her know he'd heard her.

With a frown, Serena went to go get dressed. A lovely piece hanging over her chair which she'd tried on a few hours earlier. By the time she was ready, she walked back into the lounge room to see Dan was, too. He'd planted himself back in the same seat as before as Serena rushed over to see how the caterer was doing. The food would be ready in half and hour maximum, Serena expecting her guests in only moments time.

As predicted, the first to arrive was the Bass family. A wide grin spread across Serena's lips as Henry ran in to greet his aunt. "Henry, hello!" Serena said with a chuckle as the boy wrapped his arms around her, S kneeling down to his level. Holding onto him for a few moments, she soon let go, giving Chuck a big hug. "Serena.." her friend said quietly, smiling almost as wide as his son. When Blair entered, she rushed over to Serena, "Congratulations! You've managed to last a whole year with Humphrey." In an instant, Blair handed over a bottle of champagne to Serena, "I think you deserve a drink." Taking a shaky breath, she thanked the girl, Blair going to give her a tight squeeze as S placed the bottle on the table.

It was when Nate arrived that Serena felt an instant surge of nerves rush over her. Chuck was the first to get the door, giving him a firm handshake, "Nathaniel, I see you've finally decided to show up," he chuckled. "Glad to see you!" Nate replied as his glanced wandered to meet Serena's eyes. Her eyes instantly fell on his, her glance locking on him. How was it she felt so nervous? She'd known Nate since forever, and felt so comfortable around him. But lately, things seemed to be changing. She couldn't quite determine how she felt about the boy who had once stole her heart. But she was married to Dan, a fact she'd recently learned she wasn't too fond of. It was then she started seeing Nate a lot more, going to visit him as he worked and meeting him at the park on weekends. He was what made her feel good; he was the one to put her first. And she couldn't be anything but grateful. There was no way she could really thank him.

To Serena, the dinner was a blur. They all sat around the table, her strategically placed between Blair and Nate so nothing could happen between her and Dan. A few words of congratulations were passed around, and a toast of two was made. But all the girl could think of was her life before she met Dan. He did make her a better person, but it took her until now to realise she brought out the very worst of him. It didn't take her long to completely zone out, these thoughts swarming through her mind. She didn't know what to do. Dan chatted quietly with Vanessa at the other end of the table, Chuck and Blair were whispering something to each other, Nate was occupied with Henry and the rest of her family was on the couch. She just sat there, in some sort of a panic as she thought about the situation thousands of times over. "Blair," she turned to her friend, Serena's voice hoarse. As B instantly looked to her, she read the panic on Serena's face, "Your room. Now."


	2. Chapter 2

_**AN**__: This chapter's pretty short, but hey, it's not about the quantity but the quality. I'm loving these reviews! Thanks so much, you guys! _

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The two sat on the bed, the door being quickly closed as Blair entered the room after Serena. She looked to Blair with a frown, sighing as she leant back, finding support on the bed head. She ran a hand through her golden locks in frustration, not really wanting to say a word about what was going on.

"S.." Blair began to speak, her voice low and quiet, unsure about what was going on and not really wanting anyone just outside to hear her, "What happened; what's wrong?" Serena said nothing, just simply glancing to the door, her husband's voice from outside their room, his laughs filling the air as he spoke with who she believed to be Vanessa.

"You can tell me anything, S. We're best friends. We're sisters. That's what I'm here for," The brunette added, attempting a small, supportive smile. For a few moments, Serena didn't do anything. Like before, she just sat there. She had to tell Blair. Everything was falling apart.

"It's Dan," Serena's eyes darted away to avoid Blair's glance. The thought made her sick, but she continued, "He's changed. He drinks a lot. And he.. he hit me. I don't know what to do Blair, I really don't. It's been years but I think this Gossip Girl thing has gotten to his head. He hasn't forgotten. He hasn't forgiven himself for it. He believes I haven't. I can't do this, B. I don't know what to do." The words flowed out of her mouth all at once. Her voice remained shaky, her words barely audible. But it was enough for her best friend to hear. Instantly, Blair went over to her, saying nothing, but wrapping her arms around Serena in a hug. They stayed silent for a while, as Blair comprehended all that she said.

"Oh my god, S. Hey, it'll be okay. You and Gossip Girl will sort it out," she sighed, pulling away from their hug.

"You don't know that. No one does. Blair, I think this will be the end of us. We haven't properly spoken in weeks. I thought we were forever."

"Things don't always go to plan. And unfortunately this is one of those cases," Blair explained, brushing away a stray hair from her face, "Come and stay with me and Chuck for a while?" Serena just nodded. It was a proposal she didn't have to think about. She didn't care what Dan said. Blair and Chuck were her family too, and she'd known them over twenty years now. There was no way she could say no to what Blair said.

"Come on, they're gonna be wondering where we've gone," Blair said as she stood up, giving Serena a thoughtful smile. Serena followed Blair silently, opening the door to see everyone scattered around the apartment, all in small groups. In was in an instant she wandered over to her best friends. The 'non judging breakfast club' as Blair once called it years ago. It was memories like those she loved to remember. It was memories like those that would keep her going when everything seemed to fall apart. The thought brought a smile to her lips and she came over in time for Blair announcing her staying over. After a few confused looks were exchanged from Chuck and Nate, they both beamed, "Welcome back to the family, Serena," Chuck laughed. It was as if no one had any idea of what was going on. And Serena definitely wanted to keep it that way.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: **_I'm loving these reviews! You guys are seriously awesome and I can't wait to keep updating this. A lot of this is just rambling, so it's kind of a miracle you all like it. I suppose this can partly be rated M-ish because of the references in it? Anyway, keep reviewing!_

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It wasn't long before the dinner came to a close. Serena's parents were the first to leave, Lily and William waving quick goodbyes as they left following dessert. Then shortly after was Eric, who she didn't unfortunately get to talk to personally, as the blonde had hidden herself in the group of people she called her best friends.

When Nate said goodbye, Serena felt somewhat empty. She wasn't sure how long it'd be before she'd see him again. She yearned to see the boy who captured her heart all those years ago once again; his face something that never left her mind. But how long did it take her to realise these feelings? She'd been with him before, and she thought as that relationship ended, so did her feelings for him. It was now obvious that she was wrong. She'd only kept them hidden; hidden from not just everyone, but from herself. It had taken so long for these feelings to resurface, only needing to see his face to feel something other than the numbness that consumed her on a daily basis. It was somewhat hard to admit it to herself. She still had feelings for Nate. They were considered the golden couple for a reason. They were meant to be together. Or that's what she at least thought. It's what she hoped for now that she knew trying to fix her and Dan's relationship was futile. He'd gone too far, and she'd simply had enough. It was how things were; she was done trying.

Chuck and Blair stuck around for a while, Blair glancing between Serena and Dan, eyes narrowing and her stare colder as she focused on lonely boy. Noticing Blair's acts, Serena shot her a glance, Blair getting the message that she should stop. But that didn't stop her from doing so. It wasn't until Chuck laid a delicate hand on her shoulder that she calmed down, forgetting about the things he'd done to Serena, trying to ignore the fact he hurt her just for the moment.

When Vanessa left, Serena could see Dan going back to his grumpy self, him already walking over to the alcohol cabinet, offering Chuck a drink, "I'm good," he said in reply, hardly wanting to encourage Humphrey to drink. And besides, he couldn't imagine himself sitting down and having a drink with Dan Humphrey of all people. He'd rather be with his family and true friends.

"...and what about Serena?" She could hear Blair ask from the kitchen, Serena placing herself on the couch with an exaggerated sigh, "Well, we can't let her be alone so it looks as if she'll have to stay with us."

Right. She'd forgotten about Dan's business trip, which she suspected to be a little out of the norm. He'd never been sent away before, not for simple things like meetings and conferences. But she'd gotten to the point where she didn't care. A few days away would feel like a weight off her shoulders, and she would enjoy the peace. Blair had it all sorted out. Serena would join the Bass family for a few days, and hopefully stay a little longer, even when Dan would return.

"It's about time you've come to pay us a visit," Chuck sat down next to her, a glass of whiskey in his hand. It was obvious he'd taken Dan up on his offer, but had no intentions on staying for a chat with the man, "We've all missed you, I have to admit."

"Well I'm glad I'm wanted somewhere," Serena commented, sighing as her eyes darted towards her husband, before glancing back to Chuck, "It'll be fun, anyway. It gives me the chance to spoil my nephew," she perked up with a playful shrug.

"I think we better get going," Blair came in the room, Henry following close behind his mother, "This one's getting tired. I'll see you tomorrow, Serena?" S just nodded, walking over to give her friends a quick hug.

Within minutes, they were gone. The apartment seemed empty; she seemed empty as she fiddled with her drained coffee mug, Dan slouched on the couch, an emotionless lump with the television in the background. Forever. That was the word that went through her mind when she used to think of her and Dan. Dan and Serena- together forever. She couldn't of been more wrong.

"I, uhh, probably won't get to see you in the morning," Serena looked up to see the lump had move. Dan was standing there, his hair messy, leaning over the table, his eyes meeting hers, "It's an early start, and I don't imagine you'll be up at five to see me," She just sat there, her eyes locked on his, face expressionless.

"Yeah, I'll be asleep," She stood up, kissing him on the cheek before making her way to her bedroom. The bed was unmade, the blankets all on Dan's side. She sighed as she pulled them over to her, laying on her back, able to hear the busy streets of New York outside her window. It wasn't long before she drifted off.

_The Sheppard Wedding was when everything changed. It was years and years ago, but the thought of it raced through her mind. She was only a child then, fifteen years old yet not at all innocent. Flashbacks of the day haunted her dreams. Walking across the bar, a bottle of champagne in hand. Nate's smiling face. None of them considering the fact that he was practically married to Blair. But they went along with it anyway. _

_Blair loved Nate. Nate loved Blair. That's how it was. But of course Serena was willing to defy the simple law of love and faithfulness. And with a few glasses of alcohol intoxicating the both of them, everything seemed so easy, so simple. And things just happened. Things that changed everything for the both of them. _

_Suddenly, the scene changed for Serena. Her dreams reflecting to the White Party at The Hampton's, Serena's lips on Nate's for that brief moment. _

_Then she was being fed a strawberry, whipped cream towering over it. Again, his lips were pressed to hers. _

When she woke up, Serena glanced to the clock. _4 am._ Dan was next to her, laying on his stomach, his breathing heavy and loud. All she could think was that she couldn't wait to get out of there.


End file.

Gossip Girl, Drama, Romance