Final Fantasy VII 1. Prologue

I'm doing another version of this fanfic because the first version cut out everything in between those arrow-like thingies, so you couldn't see what the characters were doing or what Pikachu was saying and that would really make you confused so I'm using different symbols for stuff like that so forget about that chart thing I had up the first time. It showed the symbols I was using but now it's pretty much useless. So enjoy the redone version! 

CHRISTMAS VACATION:Prologue 

{Cloud,Tifa,Barret,Aeris,and Red XIII(of course!) are waiting outside Rinoa Heartilly's house} 

Cloud:How long have they been in there!?! It seems like hours! 

Tifa:Relax! It's only been half an hour! 

Barret:Well that's 29 minutes too long![Faces house and yells]C'MON, YOU GUYS! WE DON'T HAVE ALL DAY! HURRY UP! 

Aeris: Barret! Calm down,sheesh! 

[The door starts to open at the house] 

Red XIII: Here they come! 

[The door opens and Squall,Rinoa,and Selphie come out, with a whole bunch of suitcases] 

Rinoa:Hi,guys! Sorry it took so long! Squall forgot where his suitcases were. 

Squall: I'm telling ya, it's the GF! 

Rinoa: Yeah, right... Well,anyway, is everybody here? 

[Squall notices Aeris] 

Squall:o_O What the heck!?! Isn't she dead?!? That means.....It's a ghost! AAAHHH![runs around hystericly] 

Cloud: Calm down,Squall! She's alive! 

Squall:[stops running] Huh? 

Cloud: We used a Revive materia and brought her back to life. 

Squall: Oh.... 

Rinoa: Well, let's go!!! 

Cloud: Wait! We're still waiting for the others to get here. 

Rinoa: Who were they again? 

Cloud: Ash, Misty, and Brock. 

[just as Cloud says that, Ash,Misty,and Brock run up to the group with suitcases of their own] 

Ash: Hi,guys! We would have gotten here sooner if somebody hadn't forgotten their stuff.[turns to look at Pikachu] 

Pikachu: Pika! Pika Pika Pi Pikachu Pi Pi![Hey! What are you looking at me for!?!] 

Selphie: Awwww! Look at the cute little rabbit! 

Ash: Uhhhh, it's not a rabbit..... 

[Selphie grabs Pikachu and gives it a big hug and practicly crushes it] 

Pikachu: Chuuuuu,Chuuuu,Chuuuuuu![Heeeeelp,Heeeeelp,Heeeeelp!] 

[Pikachu starts charging up a thundershock but Selphie's too busy squeezing Pikachu to notice] 

Ash: I wouldn't do that if I were you,Selphie..... 

Selphie: How dangerous can a harmless little rabbit- 

[Pikachu lets off a thundershock and zaps Selphie and she falls over] 

Selphie:[weakly] beee....uhhhhhhhh.@_@ 

Barret:[amazed] Damn! 

Tifa: So much for harmless..... 

Cloud: That thing's got more electricity than a Mako Reactor! 

{After Selphie regains her bearings, all of the suitcases are packed into the car} 

Cloud: Well, we're all here so let's go! 

Everybody: Yay! Let's go! 

Cloud: Uh, who's gonna drive? 

Squall: I'll drive! 

Cloud: Uh, that's o.k., you don't need to drive..... 

Squall: I just got my driver's licence and I can't wait to drive! 

Cloud:[That's what I'm afraid of.....] 

{On the highway, Squall is driving like a maniac and everyone is trying to hold on} 

Cloud: Squall! Slow down a little!!! 

Barret: Damn it,Squall! Slow down! 

Pikachu: Pikaaaaaa! Pikachu Pika Pika Pika![AAAAAHHHHHH! Squall,slow down already!] 

Squall:[enjoying the thrill of going 100 miles per hour] WHOOOOOOHOOOOOOOO!!!!! 

Aeris: Hey Squall! Our turn's coming up! Slow down! 

Squall:[disappointed] Oh all right..... 

[slows down the car, but does it too fast, and everyone gets flung foreward] 

Everyone: Whoooooa!!!!! 

[Squall pulls over so everybody can recover and sees everyone is tangled up] 

Ash: Get off of me, Cloud! 

Cloud: Well, get off of me, Brock! 

Brock:[realizes that Tifa is on top of him] Don't get off of me, Tifa! 

Tifa: Get AWAY from me, Brock! 

[Everybody gets reorientated and Squall starts off again] 

Cloud: Next time,Squall, don't go from 100 m.p.h. to 1 m.p.h. in a second.... 

Squall: Alright... Hey, we're here![pulls up into the driveway] 

{ Our characters see a big two-floor log cabin next to the driveway} 

Barret: What the hell? This place is really ugly! 

Misty:This is where we're going to spend Christmas vacation? No way! 

Cloud: Well the guy who rented it to us said it looks better on the inside..... 

Aeris: I guess we'll have to find out what it looks like on the inside in the first true episode of Christmas Vacation..... 

Misty:[groans] I want to find out now! 

Aeris: Well I guess you'll have to wait along with the rest of us. 

Misty: Oh man..... ____________________________________________________ 

Well, I hope you like the redone version better than the first version! I'll be redoing Part One soon, so until then, you'll have to just be confused while reading it. Oh, and I'll be making Part Two around then too, so that'll be great! Make sure to review this story! 


	2. What a Mess!

I finally got around to doing the next episode of Christmas Vacation! For all of you Zell fans, I'll try to have Zell in the next episode. So.... It's time for the next episode! Oh, and this is the redone episode, so you should understand more things in it. And I added a new thing or two, so look for them! 

CHRISTMAS VACATION: WHAT A MESS! 

{Outside the log cabin, our characters gaze at the place where they'll be spending Christmas vacation} 

Aeris: See, Misty? That wasn't so long, was it? 

Misty: Well I thought it was a long wait.So can we go in now? 

Aeris: Yes, we can go in. 

Misty: Yay!!![Rushes ahead of everybody else] I want to see the inside! 

Squall: I hope you're right about it being better on the inside,Cloud..... 

Cloud: I hope so too...... 

{ The characters go inside and see the biggest mess any of them had seen in their entire lives (Though it's still not as messy as my room!)} 

Barret: What the @&$*! I thought you said it looked better on the inside, Cloud! 

Cloud: I didn't say that! The guy who rented it to us did! 

Squall: Well he ripped you off then.... 

Cloud: Damn cheapscate!!! He's gonna pay for that! I'm gonna give him an Omnislash for this! Well I guess we're gonna have to clean this place up then..... 

Tifa: Well,let's get started! 

Cloud: Alright, me and Tifa will clean the living room, Squall and Rinoa will clean the bedrooms,and,uh, who's gonna clean the bathrooms? 

Everyone: I'M NOT GONNA DO IT! 

Cloud: o.k. then.... 

Barret: If the house is this messy, the bathroom must be totally disgusting! 

Squall:[thinking][Hmmm....Me and Rinoa cleaning the bedrooms alone......My chance for some action!] 

Cloud: Let's get to work,everyone! 

{Everyone sets off cleaning the cabin} 

{Upstairs, however, somebody isn't cleaning.....} 

Cloud: Oh, boy! I've got to go to the bathroom REALLY BAD! But I forgot where the bathroom is! [Starts checking all of the doors] Hmmm..... My bedroom...... Tifa's bedroom..... Ash's bedroom.... Squall and Rinoa's...WHAT THE HELL?!? 

{Cloud accidentlly stumbled in on Squall and Rinoa...Well, you know.....;)} 

Squall: Uh... Do you mind? We're doing something here..... 

Cloud: You guys are supposed to be cleaning! 

Rinoa: All right! Fine! We'll start cleaning again! 

Cloud: That's more like it....... And, uh, guys? 

Squall and Rinoa: What? 

Cloud: Get some clothes on![Shuts door] *sigh* Shoulda known they'd do that..... 

{Later on, they don't run into any more problems, exept for constant arguements over who gets to clean the bathroom and Squall and Rinoa trying to get it on a couple more times.....until.....} 

Cloud: Wow! The place looks great! But I'm exhausted....[Flops down onto the sofa] 

Tifa: Me too.....[Flops down next to Cloud] 

Barret: I feel like I could sleep for days.....[Sits down on the floor] But first, some television! 

{Everyone sits down near the television} 

Ash: Let's watch a Pokemon documentary! 

Rinoa: I want to watch a movie! 

Squall: I want to watch.....Wait, what was the title of the show I wanted to watch? Dang GFs! 

Rinoa: Stop blaming your forgetfulness on GFs, alright? It really bugs me! 

[Everyone starts to argue over what to watch, and Pikachu gets so annoyed, it thundershocks everybody] 

Pikachu: PikaaaaaaaaaaaaaCHUUUUUUUUUUU! 

Everyone: Yaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh! 

[Everyone falls down and then regains their bearings] 

Ash: Pikachu! Don't do that! 

Pikachu: Chu.....[Sorry.....] 

Cloud: Wait... What's that sound? 

{A car pulls up into the driveway, and a couple of people get out} 

Person 1: What's a car doing here? And why are the lights on? I thought they weren't gonna be here until tomorrow..... 

Squall, Rinoa, and Selphie:[Thinking] [Wait a minute... I've heard that voice before.....] 

Person 2: Yeah, it seems strange..... 

Squall, Rinoa, and Selphie:[Thinking] [I've heard that voice before too....] 

Person 1: Well, just open the door and get to work! 

{A key turns in the lock on the front door and Biggs and Wedge walk in. After a slight pause, Biggs,Wedge,Squall,Rinoa, and Selphie realize who they're seeing} 

Biggs,Wedge,Squall,Rinoa, and Selphie: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! 

Biggs and Wedge: Those SeeD twerps! 

Squall,Rinoa, and Selphie: Those Galbadian idiots! 

Biggs: Wait! This means... We're late again! 

Squall: Huh? 

Wedge: We've taken jobs as cleaners after you twerps got us kicked out of the Galbadian Army! 

Rinoa: Uh, you guys quit.... 

Wedge: Huh? Oh yeah! Well, we wouldn't have had to quit if it wern't for you punks! 

Biggs: Wedge! Bring out the XATM-093! 

Squall: Wait! Don't you mean zero-nine-TWO? 

Biggs: You guys totalled the first model![Hits a button on a remote control] 

{The characters go outside to see the XATM-093 coming at them at full speed} 

Cloud: This doesn't look good.... 

Selphie: Heeeeeeey! C'mon! Can't we all get along? [Starts dancing around] Everybody.....Love! And! Peace! 

Biggs and Wedge:*sweatdrops* Uhhhh.... No. 

Selphie: All right then.... 

{Selphie starts looking around for another option and sees Pikachu} 

Selphie:[Grabs Pikachu] Do something, little rabbit! I know! Shock those meanies like you did to me earlier! 

Pikachu: Pika..PIKACHUUUUUU![Thundershocks Biggs,Wedge, and the XATM-093] 

{Biggs,Wedge, and the XATM-093 go flying through the air} 

Biggs and Wedge: Looks like Biggs and Wedge need a new job![They disapear with a ping] 

Pikachu: Pi Pikachu....Pika?[We beat them!.....Huh?] 

{Pikachu looks behind himself to see he shocked everybody else by accident} 

Selphie: I didn't mean you had to shock me too..... 

Cloud: You know what? I think I'll skip watching T.V. and go to bed now. 

[Everyone agrees and heads upstairs to bed] 

Pikachu: Pika Pi Pikachu Pi Pika?[Was it something I said?] Pika Pi.....Pi Pika Pika Pikachu![Oh well.....See you next episode!] [Runs up to join the others] ________________________________________________________________________ 

Well, that was the first true episode of Christmas Vacation! I'll try to have a couple other characters join these guys next episode. Here's a hint as to who one of them is: He swears a LOT! Oh, and one of them might be Zell! 


	3. Merry @#!$in' Christmas!

Sorry it took so long to make this part! You know how it is with school!^_^ Anyways, in this part, the characters have some surprise guests come over.  
  
Christmas Vacation:  
Merry @#$!ing Christmas!  
  
[The scene opens on the living room, where the characters are just waking up from a good sleep...]  
  
Tifa: Ahhh! What a great sleep I had! How did you sleep, Cloud?  
  
Cloud:[in a grumpy mood] I hardly got any sleep at all! Someone was jumping on the bed almost all night!  
  
[Ash and Misty come downstairs and Cloud notices them]  
  
Cloud:Hey! Were you guys jumping on the bed last night?  
  
Ash: No, not me.  
  
Misty: Not me either.  
  
Cloud: Well then who the heck was jumping on the bed last night?!?  
  
[As Cloud says this, Squall and Rinoa are heading downstairs and hear Cloud yelling and then they start acting nervous]  
  
Squall and Rinoa: Uhhh, wonder who that could be...  
  
Cloud: Why are you so nervous?[He suddently realizes what's going on](You know what's going on, too, right?)  
You!!! You were the ones who were making all of that noise!  
  
[As Cloud yells at Squall and Rinoa, Aeris starts heading downstairs and sees Red XIII sleeping on the couch]  
  
Aeris: That doesn't look too comfortable, but it looks cute!  
  
[She reaches over to pat Red XIII on the nose when...]  
  
Red XIII:[Without moving] How many times do I have to tell you, don't do that!  
  
Aeris:[Startled] Oh! I guess you weren't sleeping!  
  
Red XIII: Hmm? What's that sound?  
  
[Everyone stops doing what they're doing and listens]  
  
Tifa: Hey! I hear something! It sounds like a plane.  
  
[Everyone listens as the sound gets louder]  
  
Aeris: It sounds like it's gonna land on the front lawn!  
  
Squall:[Looking out the window] Uhh, it is landing on the front lawn!  
  
Cloud:[Looking out the window too] Hey! It's the Highwing! Then that means....  
  
Cloud, Tifa, Aeris, and Red XIII: Cid's here!  
  
Ash: Cid?  
  
Aeris: Oh! I've got to warn you about him... He swears a lot!  
  
[Everyone hears some voices coming from outside]  
  
Voice 1: This is where we're, like, staying?!? Like, GAWD!!! It, like, looks like a dump!  
  
Voice 2: This is going to be one vacation we won't ever forget.....Mwa ha ha!  
  
Voice 3: I can't wait to try out my fortune-telling skills!  
  
Voice 4: OOOHHHH YEEEEAAAAAHHHHH!!! It's time to paaaarrrttttyyyy!!!!!  
  
[The characters then hear a knock at the door]  
  
Cloud: Who is it?  
  
Cid: Who the @#$! do you think it is?!? It's me, Cid!  
  
[Cloud opens the door and Cid walks in]  
  
Cid: Alright, you bastards! The life of the party has arrived!  
  
Aeris:[whispers to Ash] See what I mean?  
  
Ash: Yeah...  
  
Cid:[notices Ash and Misty] Huh? Hey, who's kids are these? Don't tell me they're.... Cloud and Tifa's kids!!!  
  
Cloud: Uhh, they're not...  
  
Cid: I know it's been a while since I last saw you guys, but you got to @#$!in' tell me when @#$! like this happens!  
  
Tifa: They aren't our kids!!!  
  
Cid: Huh?.... Ah well, anyways, I brought a few people with me.  
  
[Yuffie, Sepheroith, Cait Sith, and Zell walk in]  
  
Yuffie: What did I, like, tell you! It's a, like, DUMP!!! Oh, hi guys!  
  
Sepheroith: Hello, everyone. Hello, Cloud.  
  
Cloud:[in a dazed state] Hello... Master....[Shakes his head] Hey! Cut that out!  
  
Cait Sith: Hiya, guys!  
  
Zell: Yo! S'up Squall! How ya been doin', huh?  
  
Squall: Good.  
  
Cloud: 'Cept he's been "jumping on the bed" with Rinoa recently.  
  
Zell: Huh? ...The hell?[realizes what he means] Ohhhh! I get it! Heh heh heh!  
  
Cid: Oh! Rinoa! I've got that damn dog of yours in the Highwing! I'll go get it![Runs out and a couple of seconds later comes back with a dog carrier] The damn thing wouldn't stop barkin'!  
  
Rinoa: Angelo probably just missed me.[Opens the dog carrier and Angelo jumps out onto Rinoa] See?  
Cait Sith: Hey guys! I wanna predict your fortunes!  
  
Cloud: Uhhh, your predictions are almost always wrong.  
  
Cait Sith: I've been practicin'! Here we go![Dances around and then stops] Here guys![Hands out cards to everybody]  
  
Cloud:"Someone will cause trouble for you soon"  
  
Rinoa:"Man's best friend will be your worst nightmare"  
  
Squall:"Your forgetfulness will cause problems for you soon"  
  
Yuffie:"Someone will disagree with something you like"  
  
Red XIII:"You will have an uninvited guest soon"  
  
Cloud: What do these things mean?  
  
Rinoa: I don't know. I guess we'll have to wait until next episode to find out.  
_______________________________________  
  
Everybody, listen to Cait Sith! Those are some previews at what will happen in future episodes. The next episode will have the characters learning about Triple Triad while Squall searches franticly for his lost cards. If you want to find out about the future episodes, just E-mail me. 


End file.

Final Fantasy VII, Humor