Charmed Courage From Above

Paige threw a small handful of taro root into the boiling pot and waited for something to happen. A shower of rose petals was supposed to come pouring from the pot. However, after a few minutes, not so much as a puff of smoke had risen from the bubbling concoction. "Damn it!" she yelled as she angrily turned off the burner and dumped the contents of the pot down the drain. She quickly rinsed the pot, then refilled it and set it back on the stove, switching the heat on again. As she waited for the water to boil, she glanced back down at the small handwritten notebook on the counter and read the ingredients list over again.  
  
The notebook had been lying at the bottom of one of the drawers in the desk in her room. She had found it one day while cleaning and, unable to ignore her curiosity, had opened it. It was filled with potions and spells, all rather harmless and all in a handwriting that she didn't recognize. It had taken her a moment, but she soon realized that the book had been Prue's. It was sort of a practice book, with the spells and potions getting progressively harder as the book went on. So far, Paige was about halfway through the book. She just couldn't figure out where she was going wrong with the rose petal potion. "Why can't I do this?" she muttered. The water was finally at a boil, so she turned the heat down and began mixing the ingredients again.  
  
"You're using way too much taro root."  
  
Paige let out a small scream and whirled around in the direction of the voice. She had thought she was alone in the house. The last she knew, Phoebe was at work at the paper and Piper was doing inventory at the club. After a quick glance around, she confirmed that the room was indeed empty. Then, there was a small flicker of movement in the air in front of her. The flicker grew into a flurry of little white balls of light. When the lights disappeared, a woman was left standing in their place. The woman looked a little bit like Paige, and it was someone Paige recognized only from photographs. It was Prue.  
  
Paige felt her jaw drop, but she quickly closed her mouth and swallowed hard. After all the things she had seen over the past year, a family member coming back from the dead shouldn't have surprised her that much. But for some reason, seeing Prue standing in front of her was a little overwhelming. It was even a little frightening.  
  
A zillion emotions were running through her head. She was excited to finally be able to see Prue and to talk to her. She had been a little upset that she had a sister that she would never get the chance to meet, but now that chance was right in front of her. However, she was also more than a little nervous. What if Prue didn't like her? What if Prue somehow blamed her for what had happened to her? Or what if Prue had accepted everything but was disappointed in Paige? For some reason, that option scared Paige more than the others combined.  
  
"Please, don't be afraid," Prue said gently, taking a step forward.  
  
Paige automatically took a step back, then cringed when she realized what she had done. "I-I'm not," she stammered. "I-It's just that Piper told me y- you weren't allowed to--"  
  
"One thing you have to know about me is that I have no problem breaking rules I strongly disagree with," she said with a grin. "I'm willing to accept any consequences, so I figured, what the hell?"  
  
Paige smiled and found herself relaxing. So far, Prue didn't seem angry at all. She actually seemed at peace with everything, and she was talking to Paige like they'd known each other their whole lives. Suddenly, Paige gasped, remembering her other sisters. "I should call Piper and Phoebe," she said, heading for the phone.  
  
"No, don't," Prue said, reaching out and grabbing Paige's wrist to stop her. Paige jumped, shuddered, and turned around cautiously. Prue instantly felt guilty when she saw the frightened look on her sister's face. "I-I'm sorry. What did that feel like to you?"  
  
"It was sort of like a cool breeze crossed my wrist for a second," she answered. Sadness flickered into Prue's eyes as she stepped back again. Paige knew exactly what Prue was feeling, because she could feel it, too. The line between the living and the dead, in the moment Prue grabbed Paige's wrist, had never been more clear. Paige uncomfortably cleared her throat before speaking up again. "Why don't you want me to call them? They'll kill me if they find out I was talking to you and I didn't tell them."  
  
She smiled at Paige, hoping to ease the sudden tension in the room. "Because I'll go to them in time, when they need me. Right now, you're the one that needs me. What're you doing?" She nodded her head in the direction of the notebook on the counter.  
  
Paige followed Prue's gaze and immediately blushed. She felt like she had been caught doing something she shouldn't have been doing, like she somehow betrayed Prue's trust by taking what wasn't hers and using it like it was. "Well, uh," she said, clearing her throat nervously, "I found the notebook in my--I mean, in your--I mean--"  
  
"In the desk," Prue said with a giggle.  
  
Paige shot her a grateful smile. "Yes. Anyway, I found it and I wanted to see how much of it I could do."  
  
"And you're stuck on the rose petal potion?" Paige nodded, obviously disappointed in herself. Prue just gave her a smile and approached the counter. She took a quick look at Paige's ingredient's and at what she had already put into the pot. "Try using about a quarter as much taro root as you were before."  
  
Paige did as she was told, taking a pinch of the crushed herb between her thumb and forefinger, and sprinkled it into her mixture. The second the taro root hit the water, there was a bright flash of light. A moment later, a shower of rose petals in red, pink, and deep purple erupted from the pot. She giggled in delight, then looked up at Prue with a wide grin. "Yes, it worked! Thanks!"  
  
"No problem," Prue said, giggling at Paige's enthusiasm. "You would have figured it out eventually."  
  
She smiled again and began cleaning up, collecting the rose petals in a glass bowl. After they dried, she could make a nice potpourri with them. She looked up at Prue again, her head suddenly filled with questions. "Um, Prue, don't take this the wrong way, but why are you here? I mean, you obviously wouldn't risk horrible consequences just to tell me I was using too much taro root in a practice potion."  
  
Prue smirked. Of course, Paige was right. There was something more she wanted to talk about with her, something much deeper than the ingredients of a practice potion. But now, she was a little nervous about bringing it up with her. She just didn't want Paige to think she was meddling, seeing as she technically shouldn't have been there talking about it in the first place. "Paige, why don't you sit down."  
  
Paige nervously settled herself in one of the chairs at the kitchen table. Uh oh, here it comes, she thought. She's going to tell me I'm not good enough, I know it. She bit her lip anxiously as Prue stepped forward. "Can, uh . . . can you sit?"  
  
Prue nodded and sat down in a chair at the table that hadn't been pushed in all the way. "Can't do much of anything else, but I can do that." She looked Paige over and smiled sympathetically. Paige was twirling a lock of her shoulder-length red hair around her finger, obviously a nervous habit. The poor girl, Prue thought. She cleared her throat before speaking. "Paige, are you happy here?"  
  
"What do you mean?" she asked, shrugging.  
  
"Just what I said. Is there anything about living here that makes you unhappy?"  
  
Paige bit her lip again. How could she, someone Prue had known for all of five minutes, tell her that she sometimes felt that Piper and Phoebe, the sisters Prue had known her entire left, left her out of things? It wasn't so much Piper, but definitely Phoebe, which was a little strange considering Phoebe was the more welcoming sister at first. "No, I love it here," she said eventually with a smile, hoping Prue couldn't see how fake it was.  
  
"You don't have to lie to me, you know," Prue said gently. "I'm not going to get mad at you for speaking your mind. I know that they really haven't been fair to you--"  
  
"No, really," Paige interrupted, shaking her head, "it's fine."  
  
"No, it's not. Paige, I can see from up there, you know." She raised her eyes heavenward before settling back on Paige's face. "I know that they leave you out a lot, ignore you. It's not right."  
  
Paige's jaw dropped open a little, but she quickly regained her composure. "How can you say that? They're your sisters."  
  
"Yes, but so are you," Prue said, smiling. "Just because I grew up with them doesn't mean I'm automatically going to think they're right. I call it as I see it, and right now, I see that they're not being fair to you. Why do you let them get away with it?"  
  
Paige sighed, tears welling in her eyes. She knew why she put up with it, but she didn't want to say her reasons. Voicing it would make it sound so pathetic, or at the very least, it would sound like she was overreacting. But there was a sincerity in Prue's eyes that was comforting. She didn't get the feeling that Prue would judge her at all. She closed her eyes for a moment before answering. "Because I already lost one family. I don't think I can handle losing two."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You know, the whole don't bite the hand that feeds you thing," she said with a shrug. "If I rock the boat, they could kick me out just as easily as they moved me in. They need me for the Power of Three, but that doesn't mean they have to want me."  
  
"Oh, honey, believe me, they do want you." She made a move to put her hand over Paige's, then stopped. The last time she had tried to touch her, she had made her rather uncomfortable. She settled for giving her sister a comforting smile. "They love you, Paige. Don't ever think that they don't."  
  
Paige felt a lump rising in her throat. She was trying her hardest not to cry. "Then why don't they tell me that? Or even show me?"  
  
Prue felt herself choking up, pained by the desperation in her sister's voice. "I don't really know, sweetie, and I'm not making excuses for them at all, but I think that they're afraid to tell you. Did they ever tell you about Andy?" Paige shook her head, obvious confusion on her face. Prue smiled as she went on. "Andy was . . . perfect. He was my childhood sweetheart, we went out all through high school, the whole bit. We lost track of each other in college, but just after we got our powers, we found each other again. I tried to keep him from finding out about our powers because I didn't want him to get hurt. Plus, I didn't know how he would react, if he'd be able to accept it. But he found out anyway." Prue coughed and swallowed the lump that had risen in her throat while she was talking.  
  
"What happened?" Paige asked softly. She could tell that whatever had happened had upset Prue quite a bit. Even in death, it had the power to get her choked up.  
  
"There was, um . . . a demonic attack at the house. We knew about it ahead of time with Phoebe's premonitions. I told him to stay away from here that night. He didn't." She dropped her gaze to her hands. "He was killed. And it took me a long time to let anyone else in. I was afraid because I didn't want to be hurt like that ever again. And I didn't want anyone else in my life to die because of me, because of who I was."  
  
"Wow," Paige whispered. She longed to reach out to Prue, to comfort her somehow, but she knew that it wasn't possible. "I'm so sorry. How did you get over it?"  
  
"I don't think I ever really did." She looked up at Paige and smiled slightly. "My point is, when you've experienced as much loss as we have, it's hard to let anyone new into your heart."  
  
"But I've lost, too," Paige said, once again on the verge of tears. "I lost my parents, too. And I have more to lose than they do if this doesn't work out. They'll still have each other. I'll be all alone again."  
  
"Honey, you need to tell them how you're feeling." Prue looked Paige in the eye. "They have to know. The only way it's going to get better is if everything's out in the open."  
  
Paige sighed, shaking her head and blinking back tears. "I can't Prue. I can't tell them."  
  
"Yes, you can," Prue said insistently. "Paige, you're not a shy girl. I know that, you know that, and they know that. Give them a little credit. They'll listen to you, I promise."  
  
"Couldn't you do something?" she begged. "Like, telepathically prep them or something?"  
  
"You know I can't do that. The only one who can tell them how you feel is you."  
  
Paige looked down at her hands. She knew that Prue was right. She was the only one who could confront Piper and Phoebe. But she just couldn't. "Prue, I can't," she said softly, finally allowing herself to cry.  
  
Prue furrowed her brow in concern. There was something else going on, something more than Paige being afraid to make Piper and Phoebe made. "Paige, what else is going on? Why are you trying so hard to please them?"  
  
"Because they want me to be you and I can't!" she exclaimed through her tears. She immediately felt guilty for losing her temper. She put her face in her hands and tried to stop crying. It wasn't until she felt a comforting hand slide onto her shoulder that she looked up. Prue was leaning forward in the chair, gripping Paige's shoulder. "How are you touching me?"  
  
"I-I don't really know. Does it feel normal?" Paige nodded, starting to calm down. "Good." She removed her hand from Paige's shoulder and smiled at her. "Sweetie, they don't want you to be me--"  
  
"Yes, they do! They keep pushing me and pushing me to be as strong and as powerful as you, and I can't be."  
  
Realization suddenly dawned on Prue. "Is that why you were doing the spells in the notebook? Because they were mine?"  
  
Paige nodded, tears reforming in her eyes. "I figured if I could make it through the whole book . . ."  
  
"Paige, listen to me." She reached over and gripped Paige's hands. "You are your own person and you contribute to this family and to the Power of Three in your own way. Don't try to be someone you're not. If you're not true to yourself, you can't be true to anyone else."  
  
"Lessons from Shakespeare, huh?" Paige giggled through her tears.  
  
"What, 'to thine own self be true'? Yeah." Prue smiled. "But I'm serious. You've got these instincts that I would have killed to have. Don't ever think that they mean nothing."  
  
"But they don't listen to me," she said quietly.  
  
"And you have to talk with them about that." Prue jumped when she heard a car door slam. A quick glance out the window told her that Piper was home early. "Oh, damn it, I have to go. Now's your chance, Paige. I know you can do it." Another flurry of white lights surrounded Prue and whisked her away just as quickly as she had come.  
  
"No, not yet!" Paige cried, jumping out of her seat.  
  
But it was too late. Prue was gone. She turned around just as Piper came in the back door. Piper looked around the kitchen, took in the bowl of rose petals and the pot on the stove, and slowly approached the counter. Tears jumped into her eyes when she saw the little notebook sitting under a few strewn rose petals. She hadn't seen anything in Prue's handwriting for a long time. "Paige, what are you doing?" She looked over at her sister and noticed for the first time that she had been crying. "What's the matter?"  
  
"Can, um, can you call Phoebe and get her home? The three of us need to have a talk."  
  
**********  
  
Forty-five minutes later, Phoebe, Piper, and Paige were all settled in the parlor. Paige was sitting by herself in the easy chair, and Phoebe and Piper were sitting next to each other on the sofa. Typical, she thought bitterly. Me against them. She took a deep breath and held it for a moment, trying to calm her nerves. You can do this, Paige, she said to herself.  
  
"Okay, Paige, what's going on?" Piper asked. She sounded irritated, but there was a hint of concern on her face.  
  
"I just . . ." She sighed and closed her eyes. How was she going to do this? She ran a shaking hand through her hair anxiously.  
  
"Paige, you pulled me away from work, so--" Phoebe started.  
  
"Okay, right there," Paige interrupted, pointing her finger at Phoebe. "You see what you did just then?"  
  
Piper and Phoebe exchanged a surprised glance. Paige never really raised her voice unless she was upset. "What's wrong, honey?" Piper asked, softening instantly.  
  
"Just once I'd like to be treated like I'm your equal," Paige said quietly.  
  
"We do treat you like an equal--" Phoebe said.  
  
"No, you don't! You tell me I'm not experienced enough, or I don't know one of you as well as the other does, or I'm not strong enough." She looked down at her hands, not wanting her sisters to know that she had tears in her eyes. "It makes me feel very left out."  
  
"Sweetie, I had no idea you felt this way." Piper got up from the couch and squeezed into the chair with Paige. She wrapped one arm around Paige's shoulders and brushed her hair behind her ears with her other hand. "Why didn't you ever tell us?"  
  
Paige just shrugged without looking up. "Paige, you need talk to us," Phoebe said gently. "Why didn't you say anything before now?"  
  
Paige sighed heavily. "Because . . . well, you guys need me. That doesn't mean you have to love me, or even like me. I just didn't want to upset anyone."  
  
"Of course we love you, hon," Piper said comfortingly. "We may not have known each other all our lives, but I can't imagine my life without you now."  
  
Paige finally looked up at Piper, tears glistening in her eyes. "Then how come you never say so?"  
  
Piper nervously exchanged a glance with Phoebe. She was starting to see how it all looked from Paige's side, and she had no idea what to say to her. They had been unfair to her. It was completely unintentional, of course, but still, the damage had been done. "Paige," Phoebe said, clearing her throat, "it's just been hard. We were wrong, but it wasn't on purpose. I mean, we lost Prue, and on the day of her funeral, we found you. I guess in the back of our minds, there was this fear that if we opened up to you, we could lose you just as easily as we lost Prue."  
  
"Phoebe, believe me, I know what it's like to lose your family," Paige said, starting to cry. "In three seconds flat, I lost everything that I ever had. And then I found you guys and it was like I'd been given a second chance, a chance to do everything right that I did wrong before. And most of the time, I feel very close to you guys. But there are times when I'm reminded quite clearly that I'm still an outsider. I feel like you want me to be someone I'm not, and you get disappointed in me when I can't be." She looked down at her hands again. "I just feel like you don't want me for me, but for who I replaced."  
  
Phoebe's jaw dropped in surprise. "Paige, that's not true--"  
  
"Isn't it?" Paige shrugged out of Piper's embrace. "When everything first happened, you two pushed me and pushed me to get to Prue's level."  
  
"And we were wrong," Piper said, gripping Paige's hand. "We shouldn't have pushed you so hard. It took Prue three years to get to where she was. We shouldn't have expected you to get there in three months."  
  
"You're still not getting it," Paige said, the frustration and desperation obvious in her voice. "What if I can't get to her level? You said she was strong offensively. I'm not. All I do is move things away."  
  
"Well, essentially, that's what she did," Phoebe said softly.  
  
"No. I literally take an object out of one position and move it to another position. That doesn't exactly pack as much of a punch as sending something flying across the room."  
  
Piper wrapped her arm around Paige's shoulders again. At first, Paige flinched and started to pull away, but when Piper tightened her grip, she sat still. "Honey, I am so sorry. You have to believe we never meant to hurt you. We never meant to make you feel like you're any less than who you are. Don't ever try to be someone you're not. You bring something to this family and to the Power of Three that we can't get anywhere else." Piper brushed Paige's hair out of her eyes and smiled.  
  
Phoebe stood up, then knelt down in front of the chair, gripping Paige's hands, and forced her to meet her eyes. "Paige, we do love you. We don't want you to be anyone but yourself. If it seems like we're holding you back, it's only because we're trying to protect you. You know, keep history from repeating itself."  
  
"But if you want us to let go a little, we will," Piper said gently.  
  
"You have to let me learn," Paige said with a small smile. "You also need to trust in me a little bit." She broke her gaze with Phoebe and locked eyes with Piper. "I know I haven't been a witch for as long as you guys, but I do have pretty good instincts. I mean, when I sense something, how often have I been wrong? Trust in me, let me make my mistakes, but please don't ever stop worrying about me."  
  
Piper gave Paige a hug and smiled at her. "I promise you, we'll treat you better. I'm glad that you brought this up. Don't ever be afraid to talk to us again, okay?"  
  
"Okay," Paige smiled, wiping the tears from her eyes.  
  
"Are you going to be all right?" Phoebe asked, standing up.  
  
"Yeah. You two go back to whatever you were doing." Phoebe smiled, gave Paige a quick hug, and headed back to work. Piper comfortingly squeezed Paige's shoulder and headed upstairs.  
  
Paige sighed and stood up after she was left alone. She walked up to the endtable and stared down at a small framed photo of Prue. She picked it up, gently ran her finger down the front of it, and smiled. "Thank you," she said softly, glancing upwards. She put the picture back and headed back into the kitchen to clean the mess before she put the notebook back in the desk drawer. 


End file.

Charmed, Drama