Hobbit, Legend of Zelda 1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Greetings Mortals! Thanks for clicking on this story. I hope you enjoy. :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Legend of Zelda or the Hobbit, nor am I making any money from this, (insert legal stuff here.)**

**The only Zelda-lore I know is Ocarina of Time, and even that I don't know very well, so I've made up a bunch of stuff. Don't bother contradicting me: I've already written this entire story and I'm probably not going to worry about it unless it's something huge and blatantly obvious. **

**Anyway, I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed writing it, which is a lot! :)**

_Chapter 1_

I kissed my sisters on the cheek good-bye; I would probably never see them again. Exile isn't a glamorous life.

Nabooru was waiting for me at the gate to the Haunted Wasteland, as was our enemy Ganondorf. I narrowed my eyes to the evil man and took my place beside my friend Nabooru. Two opposing Gerudo thieves, even weaponless was enough to make Ganondorf twitch uncomfortably.

The atrocious King of the Desert glared back at my closest friend and me. Nabooru and I had refused to bow to Ganondorf, therefore, we were to be banished from our home in the Gerudo Fortress.

"This is your last chance," the King snarled. "Bow before me!"

"Never," Nabooru and I spat simultaneously, turning our backs and marching into the Haunted Wasteland with our heads held high.

Nabooru glanced at me without turning her head. "Do not look back." Even though I was tempted, I followed her orders. The gate shut and sand wildly whirled around us.

I pulled Nabooru a few paces to the right and dug into the sand where there was an old passage hidden by two creaky cellar doors. We dropped straight down and landed kneeling in an awfully humid, dark corridor.

As promised, a guard was there waiting for us. I paid an extraordinary amount of rupees to her at the same time she gave Nabooru and me our belongings. Between Nabooru's and my stash of currency, we managed to pay the guard more than out belongings were worth, but we had important possessions that could be crafted by few in Hyrule.

Not a word was traded during our exchange. The guard bent her head a fraction to show a small sign of respect and backed away, fading from sight. When Nabooru and I could neither see her or hear her footsteps, I turned to Nabooru. While strapping on a belt with my scimitar blades on it, I asked her, "Where do you plan to go?"

Nabooru frowned looking me in the eyes. "I am going to the Spirit Temple, to retrieve the legendary silver gauntlets."

I recoiled in surprise. "You know the legends of the evil that lurks there."

She tossed her hair. "And you know I do not believe in such things. Are you willing to accompany me?"

I frowned and thought carefully before answering. I would not let my closest and most trusted friend fall alone in that bewitched place. "I will see you to the temple, but I will not linger any longer than I wish."

Nabooru laughed. "Nabraianu, you are of the most skilled warriors and thieves I have ever met; are you really going to be scared off by two old, wrinkly, witches?"

"Yes," I replied bluntly. "If the stories are to be believed, the twins have powerful dark magic. I will not be involved in the likes of such."

"Very well," Nabooru relented. "Let us be off if we are to reach the temple before nightfall."

I nodded and followed her back out of the hidden passage, and once again we were surrounded in the obscuring sand, making our way to the cursed temple.

**A/N As previously mentioned, I have written the entire story. I will update depending on the response I receive and how much life decides to get in the way. I do appreciate reviews; they only take a couple seconds to type after all the time I spent on this story. Thanks for listening to me blab! Next chapter won't have so much of me talking, I just wanted to get some things set out in the open.**


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2_

The journey to the Spirit Temple was long and tiring, but far from impossible. It seemed like just another training day in the life of a Gerudo thief, however, those days were long gone.

We had barely reached the Temple before the blazing sun slipped under the horizon. Despite nightfall settling in, the desert was not any less calm. We hurried into the temple, thankful to be out of the ever-lasting sandstorm for a while.

That temple was sure not inviting: the second we ran in, I ducked to narrowly avoid being thwacked by a flying jar, which broke against a wall and provided us with rupees. Nabooru and I decided it best to rest through the night, taking shifts staying awake, and explore more in the morning.

Sun-up came far too quickly, with far too little sleep. I told Nabooru I was going to scout the area and search for the supposed Great Fairy Fountain, and that I would leave afterward. "May there always be angels to watch over you," I had said. We embraced, exchanged a few words having to do with luck to one another, and I left the temple, praying she would come out of the that place alive as well.

It did not take long to find the Great Fairy's Fountain. I merely had to set off a bomb to clear out some rock and duck into the passage.

In entering, the Great Fairy sprung up out of her pool and hovered in the air above me. I fought to keep a disgusted look off my face at the sight of her. Great Fairies are weird. And yes, I am a hypocrite.

I sank into a deep bow, so as to show the magical being proper respect. She smiled at me. "Nabraianu, I have foreseen your visit and prepared a gift for you."

In addition to healing me and restoring my strength, she presented me with an enchanted necklace. It was a beautiful scarlet gem attached to a strong gold chain. "This is the Necklace of the Unseen," she told me. "This will allow you to appear invisible to unwanted eyes whenever you wish."

Her regal gift had taken me by surprise; I had not expected to be given such a useful trinket. A thing like this would sell for a vast price among thieves. Sure we trained to sneak around and take what we wanted, but this was practically making thieving sport! Or more sport than it already was.

The Great Fairy's gift allowed so much for me. So much, in fact, that I passed unnoticed through the Guredo Fortress wherever I wanted. For the next fifty years, I wandered Hyrule, exploring, thieving, and repaying my sins in service to the opposition of Evil.

However, one fateful day, my path changed. I was attempting to cross the Haunted Wasteland once more to find Nabooru, but I ended up in an unknown region that I had never heard of or visited before.


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter 3_

I held my dual scimitars to the ready, prepared to attack whatever came my way. I elected not to use my Necklace of the Unseen, for I was badly lost in a random forest and needed to bargain for directions out of here if I found intelligent life.

My head snapped up from the path I was currently observing: there were voices ahead.

And there, again. I heard several voices and a mysterious scurrying of many legs, numerous skinny legs with light footfalls, and many thumping footfalls. _By Farore, what is that? _I thought wildly.

I advanced forward at a running pace to see a large group of incredibly short, hairy, smelling beings. They resembled humans, but were slightly different in ways mentioned above. This group of beings was furiously fighting many giant arachnids. I had no idea what either races were, but, being myself, I sprang into action and aided the short beings in fighting the arachnids.

It took a few short and blurry minutes to fight them, but the rest of the spider-like creatures that survived scurried off. I then spun to face the group of short beings I had just assisted.

"Who are you?" I demanded, pointing my blades at the two nearest to me: an overweight one and one with a hat. One stepped forward (I assume the leader) and raised his sword at me. "Harm me and these two die," I snapped quickly. When he did not respond, I hissed, "I have not killed in a long time, but that does not mean I am out of practice."

He glared at me with blue eyes. "We are the dwarves of Erebor. Release them and reveal your identity." After spending years bargaining my way through incidents like this, I was not stupid enough to lower my weapon, but I let the two retreat.

"My name is Nabraianu," I said slowly. "And few take kindly to my race."

I had barely said that when the group was ambushed by more spiders. Out of the corner of my eyes, I watched the Dwarves at my back, making sure they did not attack me, which they did not. They were actually fairly skilled fighters.

Suddenly, in the middle of the fight, a group of beings who also resembled humans had joined the party. I noted that they had grace and skill, were taller than the so-called dwarves, and were armed with threatening looking bows and arrows.

"Do not think I won't kill you dwarf," a blond male said, pointing an arrow at one of the dwarf's face once the spiders were dead. "It would be my pleasure." His eyes moved to me and they flashed with undisguised disgust. Then he barked to the group of others like him, "Search them."

Now, I could have put up a fight, as my first instinct urged me to do. But there were far too many of them to take at once. There were at least twenty elves, and about a dozen dwarves who were not on my side. "Take them to my father."

The others complied and one asked, "What of the woman?"

The blond one hesitated. "We will take her to my father as well."

I glared at the woman who grabbed my arm. She was unextraordinary among her company, about as tall as me, with long red hair not tied back, and was wearing an outfit of forest-y colors. What interested me most was her pointed ears. With further observation, I noticed the entire group of taller, more graceful beings also had pointed ears.

"Do you really travel with dwarves?" she asked me, horrified, shocked, and slightly amused.

"I ran into them on my way," I grumbled back, as she pushed me forward. I followed the group of graceful beings, and dwarves, being followed by more of the graceful beings, farther into the forest. The trees were tall and mysterious, something I had never really seen before, having grown up in the desert.

The party entered through a gate, which was being closely guarded by more of the pointy-ears. I glanced down for a fraction of a second when crossing a long, narrow, stone bridge. _Well, obviously this place does not believe in handrails,_ I thought to myself. _Even the Spirit Temple had a handrail going up along the staircase. _

The dwarves and I were stripped of our weapons that previously managed to escape the guards' notice and guided to an area of many cells. They were dank and small, giving off a claustrophobic vibe. I had begrudgingly handed over my twin scimitars, Goron daggers, steel boomerang, and throwing stars to the elf woman that led me here. I bit my lip and kept over half of my enchanted trinkets and tools. Over my years of traveling, I had collected many, many pieces of jewelry, masks, stones, and such items that gave me all sorts of magical advantages; I knew very well not to part with such things. When you find yourself at disadvantage, you use every dirty trick up your sleeve to put yourself on top, no matter what.

I looked at the woman in the eye, waiting for her to open the cage door. "What of the poorly hidden dagger by your lower leg under your trousers?" she asked expectantly.

I played along, acting disappointed, rolling my eyes, acting like that was the last trick I had. Apparently I played the part well, for she shut me in the prison with a clang.

One of the dwarves looked at his guard as she shoved him in his cell his cell. "Well," he said. "Are you not going to search me? I could had anything hidden in my trousers."

The woman did not even give him a glance. "Or nothing," she shot back. I slipped to the back of my cell and covered my mouth to hide a laugh.

I sat down on the cold, hard stone of the ground with my back to the wall; I took in my surroundings and made mental notes of everything I could: anything that might get in the way of my escape. Of course, I had several methods of breaking through the lock on my cell and then I could sneak away with being noticed by using my Necklace of the Unseen. However, there was a guard posted outside the cells, keeping watch to make sure we wouldn't escape. I would have to wait for nightfall, and probably of the next day so as the protection would be lowered a bit.

Many of the Dwarves were trying foolishly to break through the doors by slamming against them and such. I rolled my eyes. Because this is likely to work. After some obnoxious minutes, one called out. "Leave it! There's no way out! These are no Orc dungeons; these are the walls of the Woodland Realm. No one leaves here but by the King's consent."

I smirked. _Challenge accepted, bastard. _

I was lost deep in thought, trying to remember the route taken to get here so I could retrace it on my way out, when a voice broke through the walls. "Who are you?" a dwarf to my right asked me. He had shaggy black hair to his shoulders and was the one of the dwarven group who carried a bow. He moved closer the bars that separated our cells, so I could faintly see his face.

"As I told you before, my name is Nabraianu," I repeated.

"Nabrai-what?" he asked, stumbling over the pronunciation of my Gerudish name.

"Nab-ray-ah-nu," I said each syllable as clearly as possible. "Who are you?"

"I am Kili the dwarf, at your service."

I nodded and looked around to the rest of the dwarves. "And the rest of you?"

They each said their name one at a time. "Balin."

"Bifur."

"Bofur."

"Bombur."

"Dori."

"Dwalin."

"Fili."

"Gloin."

"Nori."

"Oin."

"Ori."

"Thorin Oakenshield."

"At your service!" they finished together.

When they finished, I frowned. "Do not expect me to remember all that. I assume the similar names show family relations?" I received a positive response from a bunch of the Dwarves. Then I added, "Where do you hail from?"

I knew I hit a sensitive spot when they failed to respond for a moment. The reply came from the dwarf I believed to be Thorin Oakenshield, who was in a cell to my left. He looked tired, almost worn down by the world as his sight ran over the path outside of his cell. "We are of Erebor, a city under the mountain. The dwarven race is currently nomadic after have been forced out of our home by the dragon Smaug."

I artificially winced, to allow them a small amount of sympathy. Or, at the least, let them think I was pitying them. "So why are you here?" I pressed, having never really been a gentle person.

A reply came from someone on my far right. "We are traveling to reclaim our homeland."

"Though the elves are not being exactly helpful."

"When did you start expecting help from the elves?" Thorin posed darkly. No one responded.

"Are you an elf?" one of the dwarves to my right piped up.

I snorted. "Do I look like an elf to you?"

They all shook their heads no. "Then what are you?"

I paused before answering, taking a moment to mentally activate one of my charms that shielded unwanted ears. Now only the dwarves could hear me. "I am a wanderer. I hail from the Desert."

"What race are you?"

I faltered before responding. It would probably be best to tell these dwarves who I am and where I am from, since I have no connections with anyone here. "I am of the Gerudo race. They live at the edge of the Haunted Wasteland in Hyrule."

"Where's that?" Kili asked. I turned to face him.

"You do not know where Hyrule is?" Surprise etched my voice and they all shook their heads again.

The next question asked to me was, "Why are you a wanderer if you have a home at the edge of the so-called Haunted Wasteland?" This came from Thorin.

My eyes flickered off into the distance, remembering. "My friend Nabooru and I were banished from our home fifty years ago."

"Why?"

My eyes darkened. "Because we refused to bow to the evil King of the Desert, Ganondorf." I literally spat his name.

"Who's he?"

"Ganondorf is the Gerudo King," I explained. "He is the only eligible King, so he has power to act as he wishes. Ganondorf wishes to acquire the Triforce and conquer all of Hyrule."

"Why is he the only eligible king? Are there no others to take his place?"

I shook my head. "No there are no others. See, in the Gerudo race, only one male is born every one hundred years. Most men are considered useless and incompetent." I laughed at their scowls and protests.

"Would you care to duel?" many of them offered; I insulted their pride.

"Once I get out of this cell, I would gladly take on all of you at once, but only if I have my own weapons," I laughed. Okay, maybe I was in a little bit over my head, but not by much. It would be a fun challenge, like another sparring match when I was training with my Gerudo sisters. I started to shake the memory off, but no one continued speaking, so I allowed myself to dwell on the past a little longer.

At some point I must have drifted off into sleep because I only regained consciousness when my head hit the stone at my back, which startled me out of my slumber. I sat up straighter against the wall and crossed my legs, allowing myself to reflect upon my wanderings, to maybe find a reason as to why I ended up here. And in a _forest_, of all places. Honestly, if the goddesses were trying to send me a message to alter upcoming events, couldn't they have sent me somewhere with warmer weather and where I felt a little less. . . What's the word I'm looking for. . . Singled-out.

"What is your story?" I asked curiously.

Kili began a long and somewhat depressing tale about the Dragon Smaug. The dwarves were great miners in the mountain, with many riches, which attracted the hoarding dragon. The dwarves lost battles and lives, and were struggling to survive. They took up work whenever they could and endured dark days of their kind. "There are still dwarves in this world," he assured me.

"Then why are there only thirteen of you on this quest?" I asked. Silence.

"Because the odds are impossible," one of the other dwarves whispered, hope drained from his voice after the painful tale of his people.

"Master Dwarf, nothing is impossible unless you wish it to be," I said firmly.

I had barely settled into meditation when someone called for me from outside my cell. "You," said an elf woman who had taken me here and tossed me into this cell. "The king wishes to speak with you," she said as the guard unlocked the cell. Out of habit, I memorized the look of the keys that controlled the cells.

When I heard what the elf woman said, I stiffened to hide my laughter. Right, sure, because I am famous for giving out information easily.

A glance to my right side gave me an image of Kili with a kind of puppy look in his eyes as he stared at the elf woman; I coughed to hide my amusement.

Nevertheless, I followed the elleth, she cuffed me and I held my head high as I walked past many elves with disgusted looks at my appearance apparent on their faces. Frankly, I wasn't ashamed of how I dressed. I am a Gerudo thief, having held high ranking among my people, which is why I wear so much make-up and jewelry. Like many other cultures, elaboration indicates rank. And if these people lived in the desert that I came from, they would probably wear our traditional clothing as well, revealing as it may be. It doesn't actually matter, since there is only one man among the Gerudo people.

We took a different route from which I was led to the cells, so I observed closely and yet again crammed information in my mind of the countless corners.

Finally, we reached the throne room where an blond elf looked down on me with a glare in his eyes. He was sitting a flashy wooden throne that had an "I'm your king, bitch" vibe.

The woman (I still don't know her name) retreated a few paces back and I stood alone facing the king. After a few uncomfortable moments of him glaring at me I said, "I am not going to bow to you, if that is what you are expecting."

His eyes narrowed at me and I looked back at him with defiance in my eyes, chin held up high.

Finally, he said, "I am King Thranduil of the Mirkwood. Who are you and what is your business here?" he asked coldly.

"I am Nabraianu of the Gerudo people. I have no business here; I merely lost my way," I replied, not flinching or blinking. After my years of learning the art of deceptive eloquence, I learned that one's posture and body languages matters just as much, if not more, than a person's words.

Blondie slowly and majestically descended the steps leading up to his throne and stated, "A likely story. And where were you heading before you lost your way?"

"That is none of your concern." Okay, so it is not as if I was doing anything incredibly important or secretive, but it is my concern and not his; Thranduil still looked upon me with cold eyes. He reminded me of a serpent, steely and slithering, with a cold demeanor.

"Why do you wear such clothing?" he asked, gesturing to me.

"I am from the desert," I scoffed, as much more needed to be explained.

"And where exactly do you come from? What is your trade or craft?" he said facing me about ten feet away, as if he couldn't bare to be close to someone such as me. Compared to the rank of king, I was not actually that much lower in rank before my exile. I was an excellent archer and warrior, buying me a high place in society, and my skills have naught but improved over my years of real fighting for my life.

"My people reside at the very edge of the Haunted Wasteland."

"And your trade is?" he pressed, so I did not fail to reply truthfully.

"The Gerudo people are Thieves. We steal to survive." I saw Blondie up in front of me immediately go on guard more than he was before, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw the guards of the court stiffen, as if I were foolish enough to attack weaponless and outnumbered.

"Scum," he called me but I did not flinch.

"I have been called worse things by better people," I stated fearlessly and Blondie took a few angered steps closer to me as if he wanted to slap me, but he knew better than to justify my point and clenched his jaw instead. I heard protestant murmurs from upset observers.

An idea hit me and I a small evil smile flickered onto my face.

_Legolas's POV_

My father was more than right about the Thief-woman. She was utter scum. What kind of a person lives a life of pure sin to survive?! It is unheard of, and word would spread fast about this foreigner. I felt no sympathy for the Thief. She wore such terribly exposing clothing, that did not even cover her arms.

I heard several shocked gasps and snapped out of my thoughts. My eyes frantically swept the area and I realized she was gone. She simply vanished into thin air!

My father barked orders and all the guards scurried away in search of her except Tauriel and myself.

Tauriel and I advanced quickly to receive orders from King Thranduil but stopped dead in out tracks when we saw her reappear. Now she simply materialized, standing exactly where she was before, with and evil smile on her features.

"You may have an army," she said slowly. "But I have the magic of the gods with me." I saw a trace of fear in my father's and Tauriel's eyes, but it disappeared in an instant.

"Legolas, Tauriel, take the Thief to her cell and watch her _carefully _to make sure she stays in there. Then call off the search for her."


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter Four_

I laughed as the two elves (I learned their names to be Legolas and Tauriel) shoved me back into my cell. I landed on my hands and knees, but it did not wipe the amused smile off my face. "Stay in there, _Thief,_" the elf man, Legolas, snarled. The amusing sight of all those Elves scurrying around was fresh in my memory, and I took the opportunity to fully engrave it.

After dusting off my midnight blue clothing, I slid back into my previous sitting spot with my back to the stone wall, legs crossed, and took to combing through my trademark Gerudo red-orange hair. I must admit, they built a breathtaking palace here, yet they could not bother to make the cells a little bit nicer. At least, larger than three feet wide and five feet in length. And not above a rushing river, making the air humid and cold. Being from the desert and all, I'm not a huge fan of cold. Of course, those bastards took my nice, grey cloak along with my weapons. Other than that, if I got out of this cell and had the opportunity to sneak around some, a thief like me would be in heaven.

I would have taken the previous opportunity I had with my Necklace of the Unseen to escape and sneak around, but the entire place was frantic and searching for me, so I figured it best to wait for another chance. Plus, I currently have no idea how to get back to where I was before.

"Why did he call you a thief?" one of the many dwarves asked me.

"Because I am one," I called back, not bothering to hide anything: my heritage is what it is. I'd bet almost anything that I would have an execution order signed and ready to be carried out by tomorrow.

"Have you ever stolen anything?" one of them asked gleefully, and somewhat stupidly.

I laughed. "The definition of a thief is one who steals from another. And next, understand this about me: I come from the Gerudo race. We steal for a living. Why do you think we live in such a harsh environment? It's so nobody bothers to take back what we steal. All of my race is literally born and raised for the purpose of taking; we have no other craft."

"But if you're asking if I stole anything from the elves, then the answer is no," I added after I'd finished. "Other than some of their dignity."

After another long period of time, by which I suspected night had fallen, Tauriel appeared by my cell door after the guard retired for the night and did not have his post replaced. I was impressed by the way elves moved almost silently about; I was barely able to hear her coming, even with my sharp thief's senses.

"Ah, Tauriel," I greeted warmly, just to throw her off-balance. "Welcome to my humble home," I said in an overly grand voice and heard snickers from the dwarves around me. "Can I offer my compliments to whoever furnished these cells? They truly show a sense of style. And the food here is particularly nice." More snorts of laughter from all but Thorin.

"Enough thief," she said, sternly, but her eyes betrayed her, showing amusement. "Tell me, can you handle a weapon?" she asked, seating herself on a rock a few feet from all the cells.

"Yes," I replied simply.

"What weapon?"

"My dual blades, metal stars, throwing daggers, and the bow, though it has been a time since I have practiced archery." Fifty years ago, I was the champion archer and warrior among the Gerudo; few challenged me and none won.

She nodded then paused for a moment. "Why do you wear such apparel?"

"If you lived in the desert I am from, you would wear the same clothing without protests. The jewelry and such shows rank among my people." Eh, it is not technically lying if I told her two-thirds of the truth. Besides, the Elves are rather modest, considering they refuse to wear anything without long sleeves.

She looked slightly horrified. "You wear that all the time, among men?"

"There is only one man born every one hundred years in the Gerudo race; he is named king."

"Then, how does your race endure?" she asked, slightly confused at my foreign ways.

"There is a royal line that is the only line in Gerudo history. All the women are nearly immortal, and few of us have ever died, so there is about the same number of Gerudo people as there were when we were sent from the Goddess's palace." Of course, there are the occasional half-breeds, but usually, they are killed off young to prevent them from being a weakness or tool for Ganondorf to use.

Tauriel frowned. "If you were sent from the gods, then why do you live a sinful life?"

I thought for a moment. "Among my people, there were no actual facts as to why we are in the world, only rumors that have survived the years. A popular belief is that we were sent to keep reality among Hyrule."

"Reality?"

"Life isn't fair, Tauriel. It doesn't matter who you are or how you act."

She didn't like what I said, but didn't argue with it. I added, "Most whom we take from deserve what they get. Not often do Gerudo take from the poor or generous."

"What is your name?" she questioned, which caught me off guard.

"What, Thief isn't a good enough name?"

"Just answer me."

"Nabraianu." She nodded and I would be impressed if she would be able to pronounce it aloud.

She faltered again before asking, "Why are you here?"

I paused. "I am a wanderer. My business is my own."

"And you are a wanderer because?" she pressed.

"I was exiled fifty years ago and have not had a permanent home ever since."

She looked at me disbelievingly. "You have been in exile for fifty years, wandering the land, yet you do not have a single scar on your body?"

I shrugged and glanced around; all of the dwarves were staring at me. "I know good potion makers." Tauriel nodded but I don't think she bought it. Ironically, I was actually telling the truth that time.

"Exactly what 'magic of the gods' do you have?" she asked. I smiled. She knew how to cover the fear in her voice with curiosity, but I could still tell I made an impression with my threats and extended truths.

Tauriel looked unnerved by my probably-evil-looking smile. "I never give away all my secrets; it'd be too easy," I said, thoroughly enjoying scaring someone in a position of power. I had nothing to lose (other than my life) and everything to gain, so I figured my usual – I call them "extended truthfulness" - talk would cause little to no harm. I've bargained my way through hundreds of situations like this before; I can surely do it again.

"How well trained are you with your weapons?" Tauriel asked.

"Very." That wasn't a lie.

"To whom do your loyalties lie?"

"Many people," I claimed in a bored tone.

"Who?" she posed eagerly,leaning forward with interest, thinking she finally would get an answer out of me.

"Well," I started, pretending to count off people on my fingers. "There's Me, I, Myself, and all my other split personalities, so that makes a total around. . ." I looked at the ceiling above acting like I was thinking. "Maybe a couple dozen people."

I heard more snickers from the dwarves around me, though the elleth was not amused. Not one little bit. I'm very good at picking up on the small things.

"Oh, and Tauriel," I added, catching her glare and negative attention. "Be a doll for me and tell Supreme Perpetual Overlord Blondie that I _really_ appreciate being cooped up in this tiny freakin' cell. Let him know that I happen to not be three feet tall like them shorties around me." I glanced around at the other dwarves, who managed to look approving and offended at the same time to me.

It was dismissal from me and Tauriel was not exactly what they call "a happy camper."

As if I were stupid enough to give away my secrets to a random stranger whom I couldn't trust.

**I'm having a pretty crappy day so please leave me a review and make tomorrow better. **


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter Five_

I looked around and focused all of my willpower in hearing any elves around me. Most of the dwarves were asleep, their loud snores filling the hall. Not hearing anyone, I crept forward, tossed red hair off my shoulder that fell back by my face anyway, and started picking the lock to my cell. It was night, as far as I could tell, as there were none stirring, so that would most likely aid an escape. I had a plan, obviously. In fact, it was the best plan one could have when risking her life to escape a prison; it had worked plenty of times before.

_No plan._

"What're ya doing, lass?" the dwarf with the hat asked. I hissed at him to stay quiet.

"Honestly, have you never broken out of a cell before?" I snapped quietly waking Kili, Thorin, and a few other dwarves around me. "Shut it!" I swore under my breath, hoping no one had heard Hat Dwarf rudely interrupt my escape.

Thorin, the leader of the dwarves, lifted his head and studied me with uncomfortably piercing blue eyes. "You're breaking out," he whispered, immediately moving into a sitting position.

"Trying to," I snarled violently in a whisper. This time I allowed my hair to cover my face to shield me from the dwarves gazes.

Time passed in but seconds, and I easily picked my through the lock on my cell; I slipped out and winced when the bar door creaked. I had barely turned around when I saw yet another unhappy elf, the Blondie's son, Legolas. "Try again, Thief," he glared and stuffed me back into my cell. I muttered a few unladylike words and called him a few names he wouldn't understand as I broke my fall.

So, as expected, he stood watch until he thought for sure I was asleep, when, obviously I was not. Do they not teach these elves anything?! I glowered in my claustrophobic container.

As soon as his footsteps faded, yet another extraordinary appearance occurred; Nayru knows we can't space these out. I can only handle two or three fascinating and infuriating experiences each hour.

"I'd wager the sun is on the rise," one dwarf called out.

Another voice hopelessly said, "We're never going to reach the mountain, are we?"

Suddenly, a Halfling with peculiarly large, hairy feet materialized from thin air. Grinning, he shook the large band that held all of the keys to our cells. "Not stuck in here, you're not."

If this wouldn't get my attention, I do not know what would catch my eye. I leap up from my sitting spot. "Who in Hyrule are you?" I demanded with an undeniable wave of desperation in my voice.

He gave me a glance and set to work opening the dwarves' cells. "That, lassie, is our burglar," one of the dwarves declared. My eyebrows shot up as all of the dwarves crept out of their cells.

"Take me with you," I offered.

Oakenshield turned me, eyes icy and firm. "We cannot trust you, and we cannot afford the loss when you betray us." I swore again and crashed my weight against the cell door.

"You are lucky I dislike Blondie more than I dislike you," I said. "Repeat my story, and I swear by the Golden Goddesses I will hunt you down and cut off you heads." After about a day of knowing me, even they believed I would do it.

They were not wrong.

"Good luck," I whispered, as many of them passed me, a few wishing me well. My gut told me they would need it.

I waited for a few moments to pass, thinking for sure that they would be caught: what else would I expect, them being large, clunky dwarves?

I was shocked when they did not return. I knew that this was a beautiful opportunity to escape, so I took it. The lock was easy to pick through. They always are; it is the guards a captive must worry about when breaking out.

Now, if only I knew where my weapons were. After making myself invisible, I followed the path the dwarves took.

Glancing warily behind, I continued down the staircase I was on, hoping I was heading in the right direction. I sucked in a hasty breath as I heard the Dwarves speaking in hushed voices and some snoring fill my ears. I hurried on and saw a large group of barrels with the Halfling standing outside whispering to the Dwarves. _Are they really in a fleet of barrels? _I mused to myself.

I saw a couple of Elves at a table, sleeping, and surprisingly, snoring lightly. Empty bottles indicated heavy drinking and I smirked. _Dang, they got hammered. _Tiptoeing forward, I snatched a slice of cheese off the table and popped it into my mouth, followed by a piece of quite delicious elven bread.

I revealed myself and watched the as the Dwarves popped their heads out of the barrels to stare at the Halfling, like rabbits coming out of their rabbit holes, after the hatted one asked, "What do we do now?"

The Halfling answered, "Hold your breath," and the Dwarves muttered their questions and squeaks/squeals/unmanly noises of alarm as that portion of the floor tilted and rolled them into a river.

I was mildly impressed by the plan; it wasn't idiotic, assuming the river led out of the kingdom. Plus, it was rather amusing to witness.

Now the Halfling walked back and forth, unsure of what to do with himself. I snorted, alerting him of my presence. Startled, he asked, "How did you get down here?" Obviously he forgot the sleeping guards, as he spoke rather loudly. They groaned, probably from the inevitable overwhelming headache after a night of drinking.

I rolled my eyes. "I'll take care of them for you," I ignored his question, motioning to the guards who were waking up. "You best be following your company."

Swiftly, as the guards were just beginning to register their surroundings, I leaped forward and whacked each on the temple, effectively knocking them out without causing too much pain. See, I may be a thief, but I do have a heart.

"Uh, um yes of course," the Halfling stuttered wisely as he walked backwards, falling into the river. That's just how I do things; I scare little Halflings by knocking out a partially awake elf so said Halfling can escape from a serpent-y Elven King.

Then was the oh-so-convenient time for more guards to appear, including Blondie Jr. and Tauriel among them. I winced as they saw me. "Oh, hello," was all I said before I disappeared and slipped to the side. They spoke in what I guess was Elvish; I couldn't understand it, but they were frantic.

A group of Elves separated from the larger group and were running to report the Dwarves' escape, while the rest went in a different direction, I assume following the dwarves. I scanned the group and recognized a few who took me to see the King and to my cell. Tauriel was at the back of the group. _Perfect, _I thought.

In one swift motion, I stepped forward, blocking Tauriel form the group, one hand over her mouth, and one hand clutching her wrists so she couldn't take out her weapons. Before she could possibly know what was happening I shoved her with her back against the wall. My knee was rammed against her middle, threatening to jam her stomach and break a few ribs, and I maneuvered my arms so I still had hold of her wrists and I had one of my discreetly hidden spare daggers at her throat by pressing my right forearm trapped her wrists by her neck. I took down my invisibility charm and was pleased to witness a mixture of surprise and fear creep into her eyes. "Give me back my weapons," I hissed so quietly it was almost silent. "Scream and you lose your teeth." Then I purposely lost my left-hand hold on her mouth.

"Fight with me," she offered an equally quiet whisper, taking me by total surprise.

"I want my weapons and I want my freedom afterward. Betray me and die," I spoke quickly.

"Deal," she said. "Betray me and die. Now this is what is going to happen," she whispered quietly, speaking fast. "You are going to follow me invisibly, staying silent, and fight when I tell you to fight. You will NOT reveal yourself until I say to, or I will say that you must have broken out of your cell. I think you can guess who everyone will believe."

She was right. This could be pretty risky if I got caught, but it sounded more like an interesting challenge than a last resort tactic.

Though, in all fairness, most life-threatening situations sound fun to me.

She darted off through a door, and returned with my weapons and some fancy Elvish clothing, which I strapped on and put on respectively, and I did exactly what Tauriel told me to. If that sentence did not read shocking, then maybe you should go back and reread it.

Tauriel motioned to me to follow her, which I did after making myself invisible, and I ran with the group. Everyone was in such a rush I don't think the elves noticed me; if they did, then I was not their first priority. The elven party sprinted at an impressively strong pace that I almost (notice: ALMOST) had difficulty matching. I was running behind Tauriel who was a the rear of the group. She hissed out instructions, trusting that I was there behind her.

"You will reveal yourself and assist the Elves in slaying the beasts," she struggled to suck in air fast enough. "Then continue following me, whatever situation we may end up in." I didn't say anything for fear of losing all my strength before a battle.

After a moment's thought, Tauriel added, "Do not let any of the elves catch you or kill you." I nodded, only to remember she couldn't see me.

I was glad Tauriel halted her instructions, for now it was an even more difficult course that required more attention: the group apparently had exited the castle at some point and now we were running along the trunks of trees. Somehow, I could sense the trees' slight annoyance at my weight running over their wood. "So sorry," I murmured in the Gerudish language, hoping they could understand me. It seemed that they at least understood the sentiment in my apology, for they relaxed a bit.

I watched my footing more than anything else; now would be a most inconvenient time to fall off of a tree. Not to mention that it would be painful and rather harming to my pride.

I ducked under another low-lying branch, scraping my neck on the rough bark. I felt the trees' and my own annoyance grow at this accidental gesture.

When the dwarves came into sight, I revealed myself from my invisibility. I frowned at the dwarves and suppressed laughter. It is certainly a most interesting sight to see thirteen dwarves and a Halfling in a bunch of empty wine barrels in a rushing river.

My gaze moved to a bunch of. . . _What are those things?_ Okay those things are just nasty. I could safely assume that they were the "beasts" Tauriel referred to earlier.

Well, I do not usually kill beings unless absolutely necessary, but I would not feel guilt for slaying these creatures. I wielded my twin scimitars dangerously, not letting anything come too near me.

"What are these things?" I yelled to Tauriel, who was a somewhat scary sight with her twin blades and bow.

"Orcs," she called back. "Servants of the Dark Lord." I reached back into my memory. Does Ganondorf even have an army? He has magic, the King of Hyrule, and darkness on his side; what would he need an army for? Monsters are a plenty pain in the butt. Sure they are not as organized as an army, but they do a fine job of terrorizing the innocent. I made a mental note to reflect more on it later.

There were about sixty of the Orcs, scattered throughout the forest and alongside the river. A few were trying to shoot the dwarves with pathetic aim on their bows. I could see the beasts become more desperate to kill the dwarves, since there were more elves coming from where they were guarding the borders. I continued fighting my way through Orcs to follow Tauriel who was following the dwarves in their handy barrel-transportation. Only yards away, there was a stone bridge over the river. I heard the dwarves yelling and noticed that there were metal gates closing. It was only by mere seconds that the dwarves were denied escape.

I took long strides, slashing at more Orcs. Then I saw Kili, the dwarf whose cell was next to mine, climb out of the barrel, up the steps, and make for the smooth wooden handle that opened the river gate. Before I could do anything to assist, an Orc shot him with an arrow, which pierced his thigh. Tauriel threw a dagger with flawless aim at the Orc's neck, which killed it instantly.

Kili, obviously in pain, managed to get up from his fallen position and pull the handle down. I almost rolled my eyes: it was just an arrow; it couldn't have been that painful. I've survived much worse.

The gates swung open, and the dwarves were free once again. I still hadn't decided whether or not I was mad at them for leaving me behind. Kili jumped from the gate and miraculously landed in one of the empty barrels. Jerks: running away from a fight. Personally, I enjoy a good fight-to-the-death, but I suppose that's just me. I've got to have a hobby in my eternal banishment, after all.

My lungs burned and I realized I forgot to breathe. _Great plan Nabraianu, _I told myself. _Way to earn a reputation. _I've never fought so many enemies at once before. It was an interesting change of pace, really; usually I battle a handful of strong fighters, while this time I was fighting a couple dozen beasts who were absolutely useless in combat.

"We retreat back to the castle," Blondie, who held one of his blades to the neck of a captive Orc, ordered the elves and I followed the order again, staying behind Tauriel, jogging to keep up with the pace of the elves, even though there were at least thirty Orcs escaping. I shook my head in disgust. They were letting the enemy get away.

It took a few minutes to get back into the throne room, where Tauriel and Legolas reported to King Blondie, while the other elves dispersed. "My Lord, the dwarves have escaped. We brought this one back for questioning."

Legolas held the beautiful, curved knife to the nasty thing's throat. "You were tracking a group of thirteen Orcs. Why?" he demanded.

"Not thirteen," the Orc rasped. "Not anymore. The young one: the black-haired archer. We stuck him with a Morgul shaft." The Orc pronounced "shaft" as "shoft" and prolonged the "o."

"Poison's in his blood. He'll be choking on it soon," it continued.

This stirred some anger from Tauriel. "Answer the question, Filth," she demanded, quietly but dangerously. The Orc yelled something in return, which apparently was rude, because Tauriel whipped her dagger out and held it firmly.

"I would not antagonize her," Legolas suggested after reclaiming his grip on the Orc.

"You like killing things Orc?" Tauriel rhetorically questioned. It growled in response. "You like death?" She slowly advanced. "Then let me give it to you!" she sprang forward and nearly killed the Orc if not for the King's interference. He said some stern words in Elvish and Tauriel left.

Using one of my charms I wish I had thought of earlier, I made sure they would not be able to hear me, then followed her.

"I do not care about one dead dwarf," King Blondie said as we retreated down the stairs. "Answer the question; you have nothing to fear. Tell us what you know and I will set you free."

"You had orders to kill. Why? What is Thorin Oakenshield to you?" Legolas inquired, his voice decreasing in volume as more distance was put between us. Tauriel surprised me when she slid around a corner and listened to the rest of the conversation.

"A dwarf ranked will never be King!" the Orc insisted.

"King! There is no King Under the Mountain, nor will there ever be," Legolas maintained. "None would dare enter Erebor, whilst the Dragon lives."

"You know nothing!" the Orc spat. "Your world will burn."

"What are you talking about?" Legolas asked. "Speak!" The Orc growled.

"Our time has come again; my master serves the One. Do you understand now Elfling? Death is upon you. Flames of War are upon you." The Orc laughed cruelly and I heard a loud slice as the Orc was beheaded. I looked back and saw the King holding a long, beautiful sword and Legolas holding the Orc's head with a disgusted expression.

"Why did you do that?" Legolas asked, sounding frustrated and disgusted. "You promised to set him free," he said, letting the head slip from his fingers.

"And I did," Thranduil said, moving to face the Orc's writhing body. He stepped on the Orc's leg, causing it to stop wriggling. "I freed his wretched head from his miserable shoulders."

I stifled a snort as Legolas replied, "There was more the Orc could tell us."

"There was nothing more he could tell me," Thranduil declared in a superior tone, retreating down the stairs with Legolas following him.

"What did the Orc mean by 'the Flames of War'" he challenged.

This was when Tauriel slipped off, so I had to follow her before hearing the answer. She left straight out the front gate and retrieved two horses from stables. "Come inside Gerudome. You can reveal yourself, but we will have to leave quickly." I nodded, let down my invisibility charm, and climbed on the horse opposite to Tauriel. "Do you know how to ride?"

"Yes."

"Good, because we will be riding hard to catch up to the dwarves." I nodded once more.

Spurring my horse, I kept my head low and looked straight ahead as we left the elven kingdom.

**What up everyone! I hope you enjoyed that nice long chapter! :) Sorry for the wait: it's that time again! School. Joy. :/ I will probably get distracted with school and all, so if I forget to update like I did with this chapter, leave it in a review or send me a PM. Despite my inability to keep up with my email, I always check it for PMs and reviews on my stories, so I definitely see yours if you leave me one.**

**A note a meant to put at the begining of the story: some of the theme for this story was inspired by the song ****_Blinding_****, by Florence and the Machine. They're my favorite band; I recommend you check out some of their songs. **

**Thanks! Review! :)**


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Hobbit, Legend of Zelda, Adventure, Fantasy