Harry Potter 1. Running from Love

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:: Chapter One ::  
**Downfall of Love  
Running from Love**

Disclaimer: if you recognize it, it's JK Rowling's, if you don't, it's mine.

"Bye Lily dear, be sure and write us the year."

"Make sure you do, that ruddy owl was expensive."

"Dad! Jamie is NOT ruddy!"

"Ok, ok, sorry. Have a good year honey."

Mr. Evans bent to kiss his youngest daughter on the cheek followed in suit by his wife.

Lily Evans embraced both of her parents and then turned to her older sister.

Compared to Petunia, Lily was a breath of sweet fresh air. While Petunia layered on the make up to improve her looks, Lily just applied a think coat of powder and blush. Petunia's hair was shot and framed her face, giving her a chubby appearance. 

Lily's hair was long and pulled back into a tight braid, making her look a few years older than she was.

"Good bye sis, see you next summer."

Petunia turned away from her younger sister and snorted.

"Uh huh."

Lily sighed inwardly and reached for her bags to put on the train.

"Allow me m'lady." A voice whispered in ear and she spun around to face Remus Lupin.  
"Remy-chan!" she squealed and glomped onto him.  
He laughed and hugged his best friend tightly.  
"Hello Mr. And Mrs. Evans, how are you?" he asked when the two had pulled away.

"Just fine Remus dear, and you?"

Mrs. Evans asked as she kissed him cheek.

"I'm good." He said as he shook Mr. Evans' hand.

Remus turned out to live only a few towns away and the previous summer Lily had gotten her muggle driver's license.

England hadn't been the same since.  
The Hogwarts Express tooted impatiently to remind everyone that it was bout to leave.

Remus and Lily bade Mr. and Mrs. Evans goodbye, promising to write, and pulled their two school trucks onto the train.  
After packing their trunks away, they split up to look the their three other friends: Sirius Black, James Potter, and Peter Pettigrew.

Lily found Sirius and James in a compartment by themselves. They seemed to be arguing about something.  
"God damnit James, you've got to tell her." Sirius seethed clutching his fists.  
"And what am I supposed to say Sirius? 'Hi, how was your summer? Oh, by the way, I'm in love with you.'"

"Sounds good to me."  
James growled and kicked Sirius in the shin.  
"Fuck you!"  
Lily plopped down beside Sirius in time enough to stop his swing, aimed at James' nose.

"You two got so CUTE over the summer!" she swooned playfully.

"You're not too bad yourself." Sirius laughed, catching her as she 'fainted' in his lap.

The compartment door flew open and Remus bused in, looked relieved.

"There you are!" he exclaimed as he tugged Lily out of Sirius' lap.

"Sorry BABE, but that's my guy."

She laughed and bowed at Remus, offering him her seat.

"My apologies." She said.

Flopping down next to James she leaned on his shoulder and smiled sweetly up at him.  
"How's my favorite straight guy?"

He blushed, she noted, but smiled unwavering at her non-the less.

"Great, how was your summer?"

"Remy-chan came over a lot, we went to London a couple times, the police brought us home once…"

Sirius snorted with laughter.

"Really? Good for you."

"Oh don't act so high and mighty! You're influence was the cause of it!" Remus responded, poking Sirius in the ribs.

Sirius batted his hand away and leaned in close to whisper something in his ear. Remus flushed and stood up saying, "Excuse us, we'll be right back."

He pulled Sirius out by his elbow.

"Have fun!" Lily called after them, giggling.  
She turned to James and wrapped her arm around his.

"You know what? I'm bushed. I'm gonna use you as a pillow, okies?"

She stretched out across the train seat and laid her head down on his lap.

"This okay?" she asked, looking up at him.

Her heart caught in her throat when she looked in his eyes. They where full of longing and love. Full of total devotion and…heartache.

She's always said herself that the most expressive part of James was his eyes, and at that moment it was all too true.

It scared her, the look of suck pure love, and the way his forehead knit together in hope she knew there was only one way to deal with this.

Ignore it.

"Nighty-night James." She said, as chipper as ever.

The look of pain etched itself deep into his face, but he managed a nod.  
She rolled on her side and closed her eyes, falling into a deep dreamless sleep.

If she had been awake, she would have felt bitter tears of a broken heart fall heavy on her cheeks.

"And you've been ignoring him because…?"

"Ignoring who?"

Remus groaned and stopped Lily in the middle of the hallway.

It was a week since they had arrived at Hogwarts, a week since Lily had saw the look of love in James' eyes, a week since they'd spoken.

"You can blow off Sirius, you can chase away Peter, but you CAN NOT lie to me, I know you too damn well."

"What are yo-"

"Say it, and I beat the crap out of you. I don't care if you're a girl or not."

Lily sighed and motioned with her hand for him to follow her.

They ended up back in the empty Gryffindor common room, and sat in a corner off the side.

"Explain." Remus demanded, crossing his arms.

"Well, when you and Sirius took off to do God knows what," she paused at this to give Remus a sarcastic smile, "I…I used James as a pillow."

"You didn't!"

"What? What'd I do?"

"Everything! Hello…can't you tell he's in love with you?"

Lily glared at him.

"Well I can tell now! When he looked at me…it was like I was water to a man dying of thirst. It…it scares me Remy-chan."

"Go talk to him Lily."

Lily shook her head, fear eating away at her insides.  
"I can't."

"Why the hell not? He's been your best friend since you where eleven, you guys used to be inseparable, what happened?"

__

Life, she mused, but she knew that was almost entirely false.  
_He fell in love with me that's what happened_.  
She sighed outwardly.

"Ok, I'll talk to him."

Remus smiled and nodded him head.  
"Good."

James flipped threw the pages of his Charms book, pausing occasionally to jot something down on his parchment.

He sighed loudly and placed his quill down on the table, taking off him glasses to rub his weary eyes.

He felt drained completely, both mentally and physically. Qudditch practices where running him ragged, and the whole situation with Lily was making his head spin.  
He hadn't told her how her felt, but he knew without a doubt that she knew. He hated being so head over heals for her, not that he didn't love her, but everyone seemed to know and the where all so…SYMPATHETIC.

"Being in love with Hagrid would be a lot bloody easier," he muttered, "at least I'd know where I stand."

He picked up his quill again and started to scratch furiously away at his parchment. Maybe if worked himself into exhaustion, he could forget about Lily, and his aching heart.

A hand reached out of no where and snatched his quill away from his hand.  
He turned around, ready to snap at Sirius that he was NOT in the mood, but the retort died on his lips.  
It was Lily and there was a grave look in her eyes.

"We need to talk." She said earnestly.

James gulped, this didn't sound fun.  
"Okay." He nodded and cleared away his books and papers making room for her. She sat down and looked helplessly around, nervously twitching her hands.

"James," she began hoarsely, "I know that…you have feelings for me, and I'd like to know…how, um, far they go."  
He stared at her a minute, but then grabbed her hands and made her look him in the eyes.  
"Lily, I love you so much…sometimes I forget to breathe."

Lily turned white as a sheet and jumped out of her chair.

"No!" she cried, "you can't love me!"

Several head turned in their direction and James tried vainly to quiet her.  
"Why do you…my BEST friend…You…you…I HATE YOU!"

She threw his quill at him and dashed out the portrait hole, sobbing loudly.

"Well," James sighed heavily, "that went well."

* * *

How was that for an opening chapter? Hope it was okay…don't worry, there is a reason that Lily's acting like a nutter. And our dear Sirius helps her deal with what's wrong…er…somewhat. ^.^V

Next chapter:: We find out why Lily flipped, and Padfoot, Moony and Wormtail do a little nighttime spying.

Please Review!  
Owari!

-Ember


	2. Nighttime confessions and Spying

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:: Chapter Two ::  
**Downfall of Love  
Nighttime confessions and Spying**

Disclaimer: if you recognize it, it's JK Rowling's, if you don't, it's mine.

Lily didn't know where she was running; she just let her feet lead the way. If there was one thing that scared her more than anything, it was falling in love.  
Why did that scare her so much?  
"Because," she whispered fiercely as she ran, "it just does."

She ran past Hagrid's hut and was about to run head long into the Forbidden Forest when two arms wrapped themselves securely around her waist.

"Hold on there Lily." Sirius said, hardly even struggling to hold onto her as she squirmed to get out of his grip.

"Let me go!" she shrieked, pelting his chest with weak punches.

"Not until you listen! Don't make me get physical with you because I am fully prepared to do so!"

"Let go!"

Sirius pulled back his hand and slapped her forcefully across the face. It wasn't hard enough to leave a mark, but it stung enough to bring her back to her senses.

"Now stop and listen to me. I don't care what the hell is wrong with you, I don't care if you turn out to be a god damned lesbian, but I *DO* care what you are doing to James. He's in love with you Lily. Head-over-heals, sky high and all the rest of that crap in love with you. You can't ignore that!"

"I can and I will!"

She broke free of Sirius' grip and made a mad dash for the forest. He tackled her to the ground and pinned her beneath him, eyes full of rage. 

"Quit fighting me Lily! I'm you're friend, not your enemy!"

"No you're not! You've always been his friend…standing up for him…bending over backwards to do things for him…"

"That's BS Lily and you know it! I love you both, and I know how you feel about James! You love him just as much as he loves you, if not more."

"I don't…I can't…"

"You do, admit it damnit!"

Lily started to sob again now, and turned her face away from him. He let go of her writs and she curled into a ball a few yards away from him.

"Come on Lily, talk to me. I'm sorry if I hurt you, but…this was the only way I could think to get your attention."

He received no response from her, just a soft sob echoing through the dark night.

After a few minutes, which passed slow and heavy, Lily stopped sobbing and gazed off into the distance. When she spoke, her voice was hoarse from crying, and he had to strain to hear it.

"Do you remember our final exam in Divination last year?" she asked.

"Yeah,"

"Professor Trelawney gave me a prediction-"

"Lily, the woman's a kook, everyone knows that! If that's why you're afraid of James, I'd say to get your head examined girl!"

Lily shook her head.

"No, this was different. She went all rigid and her voice was deep and gravely. I thought she was having an episode or something, but what she told me was so…scary.

'You'll die alone,' she said, 'the one you love now will die defending your heir. They will go from this world into the next, but you will remain in this world tormented with flashbacks of their deaths. You will die alone, forgotten, and the Dark Lord will rein forever.'"

Sirius paled slightly, but waved off the comment.

"Oh come off it, Trelawney is a terrible fraud and everyone knows it."

"No, I'm telling you this time it was an honest prediction! She said other stuff, I forget it all, but how did she know that I was in love with James then?"

"Lucky guess?"

"It was real, I know it was. And I can't lay down James' life and our unborn child's just for my own selfish pleasure."

"Listen to me! I'm telling you it was fake!"

"It wasn't, I just know it…"

Sirius rubbed his forehead, as if warding off a huge headache.

"Fine, tell James about it."

Lily colored. Tell James she was expecting to have a baby with him? Not bloody likely.

"Look, it makes perfect sense. If James is still willing to go through with this after you've told him that story, then it'll be a decision you made TOGETHER, and it won't be out of your own selfishness."

"Okay, it's work a shot."

"I know that it sounds crazy, but it's the truth."

Lily fidgeted in her seat, waiting for James' reply.

"And that's why you've been avoiding my like the plague?"

Lily chewed on the inside of her lip, and nodded slowly.

"Yeah."

James closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose.

It was so far-fetched, so unbelievable, and yet…it would explain a lot. Lily finicky behavior for example.

He opened his eyes and say Lily looking at him with expectant eyes.  
_She doesn't think I'll believe her. What if this is just a sick twisted Sirius thought up? But he wouldn't do that, not when he knows how much I love Lily. Neither of them is that cruel. She's telling the truth._

James framed Lily's face with his hands and brushed a few stray hairs away from her face.

"I believe you." He said and Lily burst into tears.

__

I didn't want her to do that! Jeez…

"I-I'm sorry," he stuttered, "I didn't mean to-"  
"No James! I'm happy!" she cried and flung her arms around him.

He stumbled backwards and into the desk behind him. She had dragged him to the empty Charms room an hour after lights out, and now he knew that following her was quiet possibly the best decision of his young life.

She pulled back away from him and looked deeply into his chocolate color eyes.

"I love you James Potter." She whispered and stood on tiptoes to place a light kiss on his lips. He blinked, smiled stupidly, and then caught her lips in his.  
Her eyes grew instantly to the size of saucers, but soon started to drift shut. 

And then the classroom door burst open.

"I don't know about this Sirius…shouldn't we let them work this out on their own?"

"Hell no! Look at how long it took them to get this far Moony! I'm going to make sure that they don't leave that classroom until they either dead or laid."

Remus looked positively scandalized.

"SIRIUS!"

"Sh! Shut up or they'll hear you!" Peter hissed.

"Fine, be a spoil sport."  
They watched as James contemplated what Lily had just told him.

He leaned foreword, placed his hands around her face and said something to her.

She burst into tears.

Sirius groaned.

"The dunderhead! He's screwing up! I've gotta go help him!" Sirius made to shove Peter aside.

"No! Look!"

Lily was hugging James now and from the look on his face James looked like he was on cloud nine.

When Lily pulled away, they heard a faint 'I love you James Potter,' before the two started to kiss.

"YAY!!" Sirius exclaimed and started to do a tap dance up and down the hallway. 

Remus laughed.

Peter shushed them and went back to spying.

"Mrow?"

All three of them stopped what they were doing and looked down toward the end of the hallway. Ms. Norris cocked her head to the side, blinked at them, and then took off down the opposite hallway.

"SHIT!"

Remus made a mad dash for the stairs, Peter stumbled into Sirius, Sirius grabbed Remus to steady himself, and the whole lot of them fell into a heap.

"Wak!" Remus exclaimed, as Sirius and Peter landed on top of him.

Shoes squeaked as Filch neared and the three untangled themselves hurriedly.

"Quick! Up the stairs!"

"No, we've got to find a place to hide!"

"Come on, in here!"

Sirius pulled Remus toward the Charms classroom and he balked.

"Noway! They'll know we where spying on them!"

"It's better to face James' wrath than lose50 points for Gryffindor!"

"Good point."

All three of them dashed into the Charms classroom and slammed the door shut. They waited until the squeaking of Filch's shoes passed before turning to face their two friends.

Both were quite a delightful shade of red, but James' face was red with anger, NOT with embarrassment.

"Er, hi?" Sirius squeaked.

* * *

*^_^* I like that chapter. Waii! Sirius is so cute when he's being naughty…

ANYWAY, please review with C&C, because God knows I could use some!

Next Chapter:: James is mad at Sirius, and Lily and Remus devise a plan to get them to make up. Poor Peter…everyone picks on him. 

Owari,

Ember


	3. Making up is Hard to Do

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:: Chapter Three ::  
**Downfall of Love  
Making up is Hard to Do**

For the next few days, James refused to look at Sirius. As far as he was concerned, Sirius had broken some unspoken guy code and that was unforgivable. No matter how much Sirius apologized, or begged to be forgiven, James still stayed adamant about not speaking to him.  
This, of course, irritated Lily to no end.  
"You're being so stupid!" she exclaimed.  
"No, I'm not. He should have known better."  
"Remus and Peter did it too!"  
"Yeah but it wasn't their idea."  
"And how do you know?"  
"Because."  
And that, naturally, was the end of that.

"Honestly! He being such a baby!"

"Well, I can understand how mad he is. I mean, if I had waited as long to kiss Sirius as long as he had waited to kiss you, and then got interrupted right in the middle of it, I would be a little pissed too."

Lily glowered at him.  
"Don't start Remy-chan. I finally DID tell him, so be happy. I just wish they'd make up! I mean, if James would stop to think about it, he wouldn't have even gotten that kiss if Sirius hadn't brought me to my senses."  
Remus nodded his head.  
"True…"  
The two lapsed into silence, Lily thinking up some kind of plan to get James to at least acknowledge Sirius' existence again, and Remus eating an abundance of beef jerky.   
Lily grumbled about him being such a carnivore, and Remus shrugged helplessly.  
"It's the wolf in me."  
"I'll say it is."  
Sirius hopped over the couch Remus was seated on and placed a small peck on his cheek. He snatched a stick of jerky away from him that was headed for his mouth, and ate it all in one bite.  
"HEY!" Remus exclaimed, pouncing on him, "That was mine!"  
Remus swatted him on the butt, and Sirius did a fake throaty groan.  
"OH! SPANK ME PLEASE!" he yelled, making Remus turn very red, and Lily laugh out loud.   
The way Sirius dealt with hurt, Lily decided, was to be a pervert. And from the way he was acting now, he must be really hurt. This drove her wild with pity, and anger, because she knew it was a stupid fight.   
She saw James tumble into the Common room, covered from head to foot with mud.   
_And the way James deals with it is to play Qudditch_, she mused. He came toward her to give her a bear hug, but she shrieked with laughter and dodged his arms.  
"NOWAY mister, go get cleaned up and then we'll talk." She said, keeping him at arm's length.  
"What? You don't love me anymore?" he asked.  
"I think it's just because you look like Swamp Thing, Prongs."  
Silence fell after Sirius comment. Remus and Lily looked nervously between the two.  
"Did you hear something guys?" James asked after a minute, "I think it was a BIG puff of wind."  
He turned and leveled a heated glare at Sirius, but the other didn't flinch.  
"Come on buddy, stop being like this. You know I'm sorry, I didn't do it on purpose! It was either that or get caught by Filch and lose however many points for Gryffindor and get a month's worth of detentions."  
"You shouldn't have been there in the first place!" James roared, stomping away.  
Sirius sighed heavily and ran a hand threw his hair.  
"Well, at least he talked to me this time. Will you excuse me? I need…a minute alone."  
He got up and walked away, and Remus shot Lily a worried look.  
"That's it, I think I just had enough of this. We need a plan, and we need one quick."

"Agreed, but what can we do?"

They fell silent again, but it was broken a minute later when Peter appeared.  
"Can you guys help me? I terrible at DADA, and I can't find James or Sirius to help me."  
Lily and Remus looked at each other, then at Peter, then they both smiled widely at him.  
"No, but I think you can help us…" Lily said, advancing on him.  
"Uh guys? I don't think-YIKES!"

"I am NOT going to do this! The Whomping Willow hates me enough as it is, and now that I think about it I'm not that fond of it either."  
Lily tightened the ropes that where around Peter's feet.  
"Aww don't be such a baby Pete, if worst comes to worst, you can always transform or something."  
"Or something?"  
Remus patted his head.  
"Yep. Besides, you're the one thing that James and Sirius take complete and total pity for. They feel so sorry for you sometimes-"  
"Thanks Remus, you're just full of great advice today aren't you?" Peter glared at the young werewolf, who shrugged.  
"I suppose so. Ready Lily? Did you practice your part?"

"Absolutely!" she put on a fake sad face and made her eyes water. "'JAMES! SIRIUS! Oh thank God I found you! It's Peter! He's in SO much trouble! The Whomping Willow, come on…quick!'"  
Remus clapped and she bowed.  
"Thank you, thank you. I'm so good sometimes it scares me too."

Remus rolled his eyes.  
"Ok, ok, just go get them. I'll be here acting like I can't get to him."  
"Great!" Lily paused as if to consider something. "Hey Remy-chan, how long does that thing stay frozen after you poke the knot?"  
"Oh only about fifteen minutes…shit!" he dodged out of the way of a flying limb, pulling Lily back with him. Peter lay at the base of the tree, just out of harm's way, glowering at the both of them. Lily blew him a kiss and then turned to run toward the castle.

Sirius stretched out on his bed, yawning loudly. A few beds away, James sent him a look of pure venom, but Sirius continued to make loud, annoying noises. He knew how to push James' buttons, and knew when he had gone to far, and he wasn't there just yet.   
_If he's so pissed at me there's only one way to fix it…  
_He yawned again and rolled over, smacking his lips together. Just a little bit more and he had him…  
They both jumped a foot in the air when someone started banging on the door.  
"JAMES!! SIRIUS!! IT'S PETER!! I need your help!"

They both shot toward the door, and Lily stumbled in, look terribly distraught.

"The Whomping Willow! Someone tied him up and he can't…Remus is…" Lily was gasping for breath, and tears where running freely down her face. She looked positively terrified.

Sirius wasn't buying if for a minute.

Seeing that James clearly was, he decided to play along. No doubt that she and his lover had this planned down to the last detail, and he wouldn't want to ruin all their efforts. For now.

"Okay, slow down Lily. We're going. You stay here and we'll go get him. Come on Sirius."  
James grabbed his wand, and Sirius followed silently behind. They raced down to the Whomping Willow, and could hear small yelps of pain and Remus trying to curse the thing into oblivion.

"We're here Remus!" James cried, dashing up beside him.   
While the two devised a plan to try and get to Peter, Sirius approached the tree and transformed. He dodged the swinging branches easily and pressed the knot. He pulled out Peter with his teeth, Peter trying to motion something with his hands. Someone had effectively gagged him.   
When he had de-transformed, he let out a low, hollow laugh.  
"Nice try Remus." He said.  
"What are you, uh, talking about?" Remus flustered, turning slightly pink.  
"You and Lily planned this so James and I would make up."  
James paused from uniting Peter.  
"What?" he asked, totally deadpan.  
"Isn't obvious? Lily and Remus felt that if they put Wormtail in danger, and then we jumped in to save him, we would make up."

Sirius sent Remus a soft smirk, at which the other boy shrugged.

"It was worth a try."  
"Lily wouldn't do that." James said defiantly, standing face to face with Sirius.  
"Yes she would Prongs."  
James let out a horrible yell and tackled Sirius to the ground, punching and hitting all the way down.   
"WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING!?!?!" Lily cried as she appeared at Remus' side.   
She made to pull them apart, but Remus stopped her.  
"No," he said calmly, "let them fight."  
"But-"  
"Let them fight." Remus said again, and Lily stood back. 

"YOU FUCKING PRICK!"  
James punched Sirius in the rubs, and he let out a low grunt. Sirius kneed James and rolled the other boy off of him, punching him in the eye. James pounced on him and started to hit him as hard as he could in the gut.  
Sirius blocked the punches and they went rolling in the dirt again, cursing the other's existence. After awhile James pulled back, and rolled away, standing up.  
Then he let out a loud laugh.  
"You ok Padfoot?" he asked, glasses hanging broken from one ear.  
Sirius nodded and reached for a hand up, and James helped him to his feet. They smiled at one another and embraced, slapping the other's back.  
"Sorry I got mad at you Sirius."  
"It's fine James. I shouldn't have been spying."  
"You ALL shouldn't have been spying, but I forgive you."  
Lily ran toward them and threw her arms around them, sobbing brokenly.  
"Stupid…boys…" she cried and Sirius rolled his eyes toward James.  
James just smiled and embraced his girlfriend, gently, because a few bruises where already forming. Remus approached them and just shook his head, smiling the whole time.   
"What? No hug for me?" Sirius asked, feigning hurt.  
"Nope." He said, kissing him on the lips. Sirius, caught slightly off guard, let out a small noise before kissing him back.  
"Come on you two," James said after awhile, "dinner's being served."  
They linked their elbows together and began walking toward the castle.  
A loud muffled scream stopped them. Lily and Remus looked at each other.  
"We forgot Peter!" They cried, racing back toward the lump lying beside the Whomping Willow.

* * *

*cheeky smile* Isn't that nice? I TOLD you everyone picks on Peter. Oh well, payback ahead of time, ne?  
Just so everyone knows, they're in their seventh year. If I didn't put that in, now you know, if I didn't…I'm just reinforcing the fact.  
NEXT CHAPTER:: The Marauders and Lily get ready to graduate from Hogwarts and start their own lives, and have a career day. This should be fun!

Owari,

Ember

THANK YOUS!!!

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Lil Lily - Thanks! ^.^ I thought it was cute too.

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Cresent - I wrote more, hope it's still as good. I'm really glad that you like my fic.

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Phoenix - Everyone thinks it's cute, which is good! At least people are reviewing right? THANK YOU!

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Ronniekin's Sweetheart - My friend said the same thing when she first read it. Thanks for reviewing!

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ember - it IS a cool name isn't it. *lol* I'm glad it's the best lily/james fic you've read. But considering it's the only one…that's probably not saying much…for ME, er, not you. But thank you non-the less!!


	4. Hidden Secretes

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:: Chapter Four ::  
**Downfall of Love  
Hidden Secretes**

WARNING! There is sexual hinting in this chapter. I was going to write a lemon scene (but I'm terrible at them…^.^;) SO, if anything sexual bothers you, I suggest skipping the first paragraph. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!  
Oh, and about the career day thing, I lied. I finally came up with an actual plot to this story, and it kinda doesn't fit in with it. Sorry.  
On with the fic…!  
P.s. - T.L means Tiger Lily, it's James' nickname for Lily. I just…thought it up…and thought it was cute. Besides that, it fits her.

****

It was the day after Christmas, and the Gryffindor Common room was deserted. Only two people where still up, and it was probably a good thing.  
"James…I don't know…"  
"Come on T.L, please?"  
Lily sighed heavily and pushed her boyfriend off of her. She wanted to, she really did…but…  
"We're in the Common Room, anyone could just walk in on us! Maybe over the summer-"  
"No one will walk in on us, it's almost two in the morning, everyone's asleep. Come on, I love you, what's the problem?"  
_What the problem is_, Lily thought angrily, _is you're entirely too eager for us just being together for a few months.  
_"Don't pull that on me James, this has nothing to do with how I feel about you. It's the simple fact that…well…it's indecent! Right out in the open! We aren't ANIMALS."  
"I don't know about you baby, but I am." He wiggled his eyebrows and she laughed.  
"In more ways that one might I add."  
He leaned over and captured her lips with his. It wasn't a rough kiss, but it wasn't gentle either. It had such passion behind it that Lily lost her breath and had to pull away all too soon for James.  
"Lily," he breathed heavily as he nuzzled her neck, "please. I need you."  
Lily looked in his eyes and saw the raging passion in them, saw the need, the want. She saw the undying love, and found herself giving in. She wrapped her arms around his waist and pulled his lips to hers, smashing them together.   
She whimpered softly as James leaned her back and flattened himself on top of her. His weight wasn't crushing; it was a pleasant pressure on her stomach that made her yurn of more.  
She didn't know how James managed to get all their clothes off in such a short amount of time, but at the time didn't care. He was kissing her in places she hadn't been kissed before, touching her in places that made her go wild. She needed him inside her…NOW.  
"James," she groaned and felt him shift position.  
It hurt at first, but soon the burning subsided and pleasure flowed through her veins. She heard herself cry his name as she came, and fell back against the couch, totally spent.  
He lay on top of her, burring his head in her chest. They where both covered in sweat, and she wrapped her arms around his waist.  
"I love you so much T.L." she heard James say, as she drifted off to sleep.  
The next morning, she didn't know how, but a blanket had been thoughtfully thrown over them.

(A.N. - That wasn't TOO smutty was it?)

****

Three months later

"You ok Lily? You haven't touched your breakfast."  
Remus poked her in the side and she snapped out of her daze.  
"Huh?"  
"Your breakfast, you haven't touched it. Don't you feel well?"  
"Yeah, I'm fine. I just don't have much of an appetite this morning I guess."  
She smiled weakly and went back to a daze.   
James sat beside her, an arm around her waist, totally oblivious to his girlfriend's odd behavior.  
"We're going to crème Ravenclaw, I haven't seen the team in such good shape since…well, ever."  
Sirius nodded earnestly as he chewed he scrambled eggs.  
Remus glared at the two of them.  
"You guys…" no response, they where still talking about Quidditch, "hey, you guys," still no response, "YOU GUYS!" Remus yelled, making them jump.  
"What Moony?" James asked, slightly annoyed. Sirius just raised an eyebrow.  
"If you weren't so hung up talking JAMES, you'd notice that your girlfriend is sick."  
"T.L? Love, are you sick?"  
Lily sent Remus an angry glare and shook her head at James.  
"No, I'm fine."  
"I don't know, you look a little pale. Maybe you should go see Madam Pomfrey."  
"NO!" she yelled surprising everyone, "I'm fine, REALLY. See?" she took a bite of her eggs and rubbed her stomach.  
"Mmmm, good."  
James laughed and kissed her on the forehead.  
"Ok, if you're sure." He said and went back to talking to Sirius.  
Lily elbowed Remus in the ribs and he choked on his juice.  
"Next time I say I'm fine," she seethed, "DON'T drag James into it."  
"I was just trying to help." He said, searching her face. She did look pale, and almost…afraid?  
Remus chose not to comment on it in front of James. He'd wait…tell later.

James loved flying. He loved the wind in his hair, the fresh smell of the air…the Bludgers trying to give him a concussion.  
"Yo Sirius! Do your bloody job!" James cried as another particularly bold Bludger flew at his head.  
"So sorry," Sirius called as he raced passed James, his club raised high in the air.   
It was Friday afternoon, and the Gryffindor Quidditch team was practicing for their game against Ravenclaw tomorrow. James was a Chaser, and Sirius, naturally, was a Beater. Which fit their personalities perfectly because James was lithe and had excellent aim, and Sirius…well, let's just leave it at that Sirius got a little too over eager sometimes.  
Practice was going excellent, as always nowadays. Vivian Brown, the Keeper, kept blocking the majority of James' and the other two Keepers' shots. Sirius seemed to be in lala land at the moment, so most of the beating was left up to Steven Barker. Which was fine, because he was quite a good Beater himself. The Seeker was still in the hospital wing from the last match, but Madam Pomfrey assured them he would be able to play Saturday.  
After sun down, Vivian called quits (she being the captain) and the team trekked back into the locker rooms to clean up.   
"Hey James, is that Lily?"  
Sirius pointed across the field to a figure that was running around the pitch. Even threw the semi darkness you could see her fiery red hair. Her face was flushed and she looked incredibly hot, but she kept running full tilt.  
"She looks a little sick ya know? I think you might want to go tell to stop."  
James nodded and jogged over toward her. She saw him and stopped, bending over her knees and panting. James leaned down so he could see threw her waterfall of hair, and smiled up at her.  
"What's up?" he asked.  
"Sky…birds…" she gasped, and James laughed at her.  
"Yeah, yeah. You've been hanging out with us Marauders too much T.L. What happened to my wonderful Lily?"  
"She-" Lily stopped and shook her head, "nothing. Sorry. I was just running to, er…I was getting fat." She finished lamely.  
"Dear God girl there isn't any fat on your entire BODY, getting fat my ass."  
"Not anywhere you've seen."  
"Oh but I've seen every inch of your body T.L, unless there's some body part your detach when you're around me."  
"You found me out, I'm a guy."  
James starred at her for a minute, totally bewildered, but them he cracked a wide smile.  
"You're too gorgeous." He said, pulling her in for a kiss, but she pushed herself away.  
"I'm all sweaty."  
"So am I."  
"Well then go take a shower! You smell." She cried, running back toward the castle.   
"See you in the Common Room!" she called, and disappeared.  
James watched her go. Was it just him, or was Lily avoiding his touch?

  
Lily loved showers.   
At the end of a long day, she loved to just sit under a steady stream of water and let her troubles wash right down the drain. It was possibly the most relaxed you would ever see Lily, if you ever say her in shower that is. After the run that night, Lily felt that she had earned a particularly long shower, so after she got back to Gryffindor Tower, she went back to her dorm and gathered her pajamas and toiletries.  
She was just getting good and comfortable on the bench that the girl's shower room provided when Moaning Myrtle decided she wanted to talk. Lily sighed and grabbed a towel to wrap around herself, and Myrtle made herself comfortable beside Lily.  
"So?"  
"So what?" Lily snapped, a little irritated. She liked Myrtle most of the time, but she really didn't feel like talking to her right then. She had too much on her mind.  
"So has that Potter boy dumped you yet?"  
"Why do you ask? Is it because you don't feel like being lonely alone?"  
Myrtle's eyes watered and she hopped up from where she sat, scratching at her ghostly pimples.   
"I was just curious! Everyone just thinks they can yell at me because I'm dead. 'Oh look, there's Myrtle. I'm in a bad mood, so I'm going to go yell at her because she's DEAD so she obviously has NO feelings.'"   
Lily sighed and apologized.  
"Look, I'm sorry. I'm not in the best of moods right now and I kind of want to be alone ok? I'm really sorry."  
"Sure you are." Myrtle snorted, and sank threw the floor. Lily just shook her head and sighed again. She ran a hand over the slight bulge that was in her stomach. Her eyes watered.  
"He's going to hate me for sure. We're all alone."   
And with that, she broke down and cried. Showers might do wonders to daily problems, but it can't wash away a broken heart.

Remus shoved Sirius away when he appeared in the common room, his usual jolly self.   
"What's wrong love?" he asked.  
"If I tell you something, do you promise to not tell James?"  
"Why can't I tell James? Does it have something to do with Lily? Or Peter?"  
"Just Lily."  
"Well then I can't promise anything Moony. It kinda depends on the something."  
Remus looked into the Common Room's fire for a long time. Lily didn't have to tell him she was pregnant, he could almost smell it somehow. Being a werewolf had its advantages, but when it came to something like this, he cursed it. Lily was like his sister, and he knew for a fact that she didn't want James to know. He knew what she was going to do. She was going to make a huge mistake. James may be immature a lot, but deep down he was the most mature person Remus knew. But this was Lily and James' problem, not his. As much as he loved them both, this was something that they had to work out on their own.   
"Never mind Padfoot, it's not important. Now are you just going to stand there looking all cute or are you going to kiss me?"

Excitement ran through Hogwarts the next day. Everyone was anticipating the huge match between Ravenclaw and Gryffindor, and it was the buzz when everyone walked into breakfast.   
James and Sirius where right in the thick of it, and loving every minute of it. They both loved attention, and never failed to get the most out of it.  
Remus sat beside Lily, ignoring his two friends and trying helplessly to get her to talk. She looked like a wilted flower that morning.   
"Do you feel bad again?"  
"No, I'm fine. Just a little tired I guess."  
Remus made another stab at conversation.  
"Have you told James yet?"  
Lily nearly fell out of her chair in surprise.  
"What? Are you talking about-"  
"Come on Lily, I'm a werewolf. I can tell." He hissed under his breath.  
Tears filled her eyes and she threw herself at Remus, burring her head in his shoulder. No one noticed as Remus helped her out of the hall. He sat her down on one of the stairs, and then seated himself beside her. She laid her head in his lap, and cried brokenly. Remus just stroked her hair comfortingly, and tried to console as best he could.  
"He's going to hate me Remy-chan. I can't tell him…"  
"He loves you Lily. You're not the only one at fault here, you know. He's half that baby. You can tell him, come on."  
"No," she said firmly, "I don't want to ruin his life. He could be anything he wants, and me and a baby would just tie him down."  
"He still can be don't you see? Having a baby isn't the end of the world Lils, it's the beginning."  
They lapsed into silence, Lily continued to cry, and Remus continued to stroke her hair, whispering things to her to comfort her.  
"I'll always be here if you need me Lily." He said, and she sat up to hug him.  
"What would I do without you?" she asked. He raised a hand to wipe away her tears, and cradled her face in his hands.  
"Same thing I would do without you, be miserable."  
She kissed his cheek, and hugged him again.

"…and it's Potter to Baggs, Baggs to Clark, SCORE! Seventy to ten Gryffindor!"  
James did a victory lap around the pitch, admit hoarse cries of victory from the crimson and gold end of the field. Sirius gave James a hive five as he flew by, hot on the trail of a rouge Bludger. Sarah Baggs and Jamie Clark where the other two Chasers and the Keeper was Jordan Higgins, and James sent them all one of his biggest smiles.   
"We are kicking ass and taking names!" Jamie yelled happily.  
"Hey Higgins! Keep your eye out for the Goddamn snitch!" called Vivian, who blocked yet another Quaffle from the opposing team.   
James smirked, Vivian had a mouth almost as bad as a sailor, and she was a girl. Sirius had better language then her.  
The game picked up to a blinding speed and the crowd below could hardly make out the plays and counter plays.   
It ended when Jordan caught the snitch, and the Gryffindor team embraced him in a huge group hug.  
"We just have to beat Hufflepuff and then Slytherin and we have the cup!" Jamie exclaimed. She had a knack for stating the obvious.  
After Sirius and James bade everyone good bye and congratulations, they went off to look for Remus and Lily. They where in such a good mood, that they had to find their lovers to celebrate.  
When they found them however, James wished he hadn't.  
Remus was sitting outside of the hospital wing, and his face was tear stained.  
"It's Lily," he gasped as Sirius gave him a hug, "she collapsed during the match. She went so cold and rigid. Gods, I hope she's alright…"he broke down and sobbed, and Sirius clutched him close.   
James just sat down heavily on the floor beside the door, and drew his knees up to his chin.  
_Not Lily_, he thought, _anything but Lily_.

* * *

OKAY, I got a plot down, YAY! *waves a little victory flag* Odds are, if I get around to finishing this, that it'll be pretty long, I'm expecting some 20 chapters, so…yay. *^_____^*  
This isn't anything like the other three chapters is it? It got all dark and depressing (somewhat) suddenly ne? I just hope it's good ya know? This is my longest chapter yet! *proud of herself*  
Please Review! Please please please please please please (ect…) review.   
Thanks!  
  
Owari  
~Ember  
*proud member of the great name club…lol*

****

THANK YOUS!!!!!!

Star Fish - It's strange because I'm strange…and thank you!

Riauna - Glad you like. ^.^V

WhammyBar - Thanks!!!!! I'm SO glad someone likes it! BTW, I love the nickname…

IceIceBaby - I'm happy it's good, but I can't stand TyPiNg LiKe ThIs. ^.^;;;

Ember - *hands her a virtual cookie* I love you, I really really do. You are so NICE! Sirius glomps for you!


	5. Break Up

****

:: Chapter Five ::  
**Downfall of Love  
Break Up**

Lily woke up and rubbed at her eyes. She tried to sit up, but her head spun too quickly and she had to lay back against her pillows.   
"How do you feel my dear?"  
Madam Pomfrey was beside her in an instant, forcing some chocolate and some terrible tasting liquid down her throat.  
"Ok I guess." She rasped. Her voice felt tight and scratchy, and she coughed to clear it.  
"Do you know what happened?" Madam Pomfrey asked, and Lily nodded.  
"I…collapsed as the game…"  
"Yes. Now lie back dear, that potion I gave you should put you to sleep in a little while. Oh, and some of your friends are outside, would you like to see them?"  
Lily closed her eyes for a minute and rubbed them.  
"Who?"  
"Um, Black and Potter, and Remus."  
Lily smiled at Madam Pomfrey. She could tell right off that Madam Pomfrey loved Remus, but couldn't stand James or Sirius.  
"Just Remus." She said, and the nurse nodded.

James practically knocked Madam Pomfrey down when she opened the door, but she held up her hand to ward him off.  
"She doesn't want to see you, just Remus. Come along dear."  
Madam Pomfrey stood aside and let the young werewolf in, slamming the door in James face. He turned to glare at Sirius, who held up his hands in surrender.  
"I didn't do it, don't shoot the glare of doom my way Prongs. Maybe she's just really embarrassed."  
"Yeah…maybe that's it." He said, and went back to moping by the wall.

Remus felt a little bad for going into the hospital wing without James and Sirius, but he was really worried. After all, he reminded himself, Lily was his best friend, and the only one that she really trusted right then. She was propped up against some pillows, looking incredibly thin and sick. Two terrible signs for someone who was pregnant.  
"How's my girl?" he asked as he sat down, and she reached over to hold his hand. It felt terrible slim in his own, but he clutched it like a lifeline. She was going to be ok.  
"Madam Pomfrey said James was outside, is he ok?"  
"Ok meaning he's not breaking down the door to get to you, or ok meaning he's not throwing things…yet?"  
Lily smiled weakly.  
"Either or." She responded.  
"He's worried sick if you really want to know. I haven't seen him this worked up since Padfoot took that nasty fall at the Quidditch game back in our third year."  
"Oh."  
She looked down at her stomach, and patted it with her free hand.  
"You didn't tell him, did you?"  
"It's not my place."  
"Thanks Remy-chan."  
"You are going to tell him aren't you?"  
She shook her head.  
"No, I'm not."  
Remus pulled his hands away from hers and put his head in them. This was incredibly hard for him, because as close as he was to Lily, and as much as cared for her, James was still his friend. He knew that if he was in the same position as James, and he didn't tell him what was going on, he would be pissed off. James had done so much for him in the past seven years, beings his friend at the top of that list, and lying to friends was something Remus Lupin practically refused to do.  
"You know you're making this very hard on me." He said, looking up at her.  
"If James asks me, I'm going to tell him."  
"Please don't! Please Remus," she begged, "he doesn't need to know. He could become something great! I don't want him to give that up because I-"  
"Because you **both** made a stupid mistake, and now you BOTH have to live with it!" Remus roared, and Lily shrank back from him. He hadn't meant to yell, but she was being so difficult. Why couldn't she see that James was at fault here too, not just her?  
"I think it's time you left Remus dear." Said Madam Pomfrey, and he stood up from the chair beside Lily's bed.   
"I'm sorry." He whispered, and kissed her cheek. He left in a flutter of flying robes. He was angry with her, and Lily couldn't help but cry. He was the only one she felt like she could depend on anymore, what was she supposed to do if he left her?  
"Is he the father deary?"  
Lily started, she hadn't known Madam Pomfrey was still there.  
"No…no, James Potter is."  
A deep frown set itself into the old nurse's mouth.  
"And he's the one that let you carry on like you did? Exercising so you wouldn't show that much weight gain, not eating. Lily dear you're pregnant, you have to take care of yourself so that baby will come out nice and healthy."  
"I know ma'am. James doesn't even know yet, and please don't tell him."  
Madam Pomfrey gave Lily the once over with her eyes, and shook her head. She walked away and didn't say another thing to Lily, but Lily knew what the old nurse was thinking.  
She was being stupid.

It was a few days before Lily left to go back to classes, and by then everyone was studying for exams. She easily avoided James and the others for the better part of two days before it all caught up with her. She was coming back to the common room after a long study session in the library, when she ran into Sirius. At first the two just stared at each other, but soon Sirius snapped out of it and embraced her in a warm hug.  
"Hey." He said, and Lily let herself melt into the embrace. She loved Sirius for the simple reason that he gave the best hugs of anyone she knew, and had missed receiving them.  
"How are you feeling?"  
She shrugged.  
"Ok, I guess."  
"James is worried sick about you. How come you'd only let Moony in to see you?"  
"It was something between me and him."  
"Odd, he said the same thing. Want to tell me something?"  
Lily shook her head.   
Sirius drawled her into her a conversation, and try as she might she couldn't get away. He was holding her there on purpose, she knew, until James came.  
"Potions homework was hard today huh? Professor Sterling gave us a lot didn't he?"  
"Yeah. Look Sirius, I've got LOADS of stuff to do. Being up in the hospital wing really put me behind. So if you'll just-"  
"Stop ok? I know you've been avoiding us Lily, and I'm not about to pretend like I know why and that I'm ok with it. I've told you once and I'll tell you again - DO NOT HURT HIM. I love James, more than I should have times, and what you're doing to him is slow torture. He can barely function without you! He tried to butter and EAT Remus' hand at breakfast today he was so distracted. If you're done with him then for the love of God tell him! Don't string him along! He doesn't deserve that ok?"  
Lily nodded, tears running down her face. Sirius reached over and brushed them away.  
"You're still my friend Lil, no matter what happens. I care about you a lot, and I'm glad you're ok."  
He hugged her again, and then walked toward his dorm. Lily watched him leave and decided that enough was enough, James did deserve better. Better than being tied down.

It was quiet when James came back from a kitchen raid Peter at his heals.  
He had been worried sick about Lily ever since she had collapsed, and when she started to avoid him he had a sunken into an almost depression like state.  
Peter, being the caring and hungry person that he was, had talked James into going to the kitchens for some late night scrounging. The house elves had been so polite and helpful that after eating everything they offered he did feel a little better.   
'No wonder women eat so much," he mused, "it really is quite a pick me up.'  
Shuffling into the dorm and throwing the invisibility cloak off, James stumbled to he bed and belly flopped face down.  
He let out a loud exaggerated sigh and rolled over.  
Sirius' head appeared from behind the curtains of his four poster.  
"Keep it down some people are trying to have sex!" he mock growled and disappeared again.  
There was a faint 'Sirius!' before softer laughter filtered through the curtains and then died away.  
James smiled ruefully. He really was happy for his two best friends, REALLY.   
'It just seems like…' he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, 'You are NOT jealous of them Prongs, just be happy for them! Just because your romance is on the rocks doesn't mean you can't be happy for your two friends.'  
He nodded, resolved, and pulled his pillow under his head. A faint crinkling sound made him turn over and he noticed for the first time that a note was pinned to it.  
He recognized Lily's neat script and ripped the note from his pillow.

__

Dear James,  
I'm sorry, but I can't be with you anymore. Things just aren't working out. I still care for you, and hope we can still be friends.  
All my Love,

~ Lily

James ripped the note to pieces and threw them at the floor. He buried his face in his hands and wept.

"Prongs, you look like shit."  
James ignored Sirius' comment and shoved some toast into his mouth. He felt so angry at everything all of a sudden, like he could just fly into a furious rage and rip and tear everything around him to pieces and then…all would be right in the world.  
Lily sat across from him and he pointedly didn't look at her. He was afraid to really. He felt so hurt. She had rejected him, just when he was so sure he had her heart. She had his and always would, but she had ripped it out. Stomped on it, ground it into dust with the heal of her shoe…  
"Yo, Prongs buddy, you with us today?" Sirius asked, waving a hand in his face.  
"Stop it." James snapped and shoved away from the table. He stormed out of the Great Hall an icy glare fixed on his face. Sirius rubbed the back of his head sheepishly and shrugged at Remus and Peter.  
"Wonder what's wrong with him?" he remarked.   
Remus nodded toward Lily.  
"Ask her." He said.   
Sirius raised an eyebrow.  
"Well?" he asked, and Lily didn't flinch as she looked into his hard eyes.  
"I broke up with him."

* * *

Yay! Chapter Five done! Is it getting ANY better? I hope so…  
Owari,  
~ Ember

Thanks for reviewing Isabella; you're the only one that did. . Why do I have the feeling that this sucks now?  


  



	6. And it all fell Apart

****

:: Chapter Six ::  
**Downfall of Love  
And it all fell Apart**

"You WHAT?!?!" Sirius screeched, slamming his hands down on the table.  
"I broke up with him, like you said. If I was done with him then let him go, so I did."  
Sirius shook his head at her.  
"I didn't think that you'd take me for real. I was using it more for a wake up call, not an ultimatum."  
"Well it just so happened that you where right, I…HE could do better." Lily said, voice catching slightly in her throat.  
Remus scoffed at her, and rolled his eyes.  
"You're such an idiot Lil. I love you, you know I do, but this had got to be the dumbest thing you've ever done."  
Sirius looked between Lily and his lover, eyes narrowing.   
"Either you two tell me what's going on NOW or I'll do something drastic."  
The two remained silent.  
"No?" he asked eyebrows raised, "No comments Remus? No comments Lily? Fine. Consider us over too Remus."  
He stormed out of the Great Hall after his best friend.  
Remus' eyes watered, and tears slid down his pale cheeks. Lily made to go comfort him, but he shoved her away.  
"See? See what hiding this secrete and lying has done? Maybe you can live without the love of your life but I can't! He's my MATE Lily I need him. Gods, you're so stupid sometimes! I don't want to see you right now, get away from me."  
He pointed toward the door of the Great Hall, and buried his face in his hands, sobbing. Peter came and put a comforting arm around him, glaring at her.  
"Jeez, you really did screw up didn't you?" he spat, and Lily felt her head become light. Everything was ruined; all her friends hated her, everyone.  
She was alone, and it was all her fault.

For the second time that year she found herself running toward the Forbidden Forest. Why her feet kept leading her there she wasn't sure, but it was like some sort of pull. Some force was pulling her towards it, and she was too weak mentally to fight it off. She rushed in without stopping, and ran as fast her legs could carry her. One thing that was a plus to exercising constantly was that she was now so fast no one could catch her. Not even Sirius, though she knew that he wasn't coming.  
She couldn't remember when she'd stopped running, but she knew that she was some where in the heart of the forest. Light streamed threw the canopy every here and there and left patches of golden light on the ground. She stumbled blindly around, hair becoming ratted and coarse where it was freed from her long braid. She felt cold, hungry, and defeated.   
"…Lily…" she heard something hiss, and turned frantically every which way.  
"Who's there? Hello?" she shook her head, mentally slapping herself.  
"This was a stupid idea Evans," she said to herself, "to come running in here like an idiot. Now you're freezing and hungry, and hearing things no less. If this baby comes out to be even half way normal I will be totally surprised."  
She slumped against an old tree and sat down on the ground, weariness over taking her. Her eyes slid shut just as a figure stepped from the darkness, and swooped down to pick her up.

"Potter, a word please."  
Professor McGonagall waved James toward the Portrait hole and away from Sirius.  
"Yes professor?"  
"Have you seen Miss Evans tonight?" she asked, and James became a little ridged.  
"Why would I've seen her tonight?"  
"She's missing Potter, she didn't come to any of her classes and I need to know that she's ok. Now, have you seen her?"  
James breath left him. Lily…was missing?  
"No, no ma'am I haven't."  
Professor McGonagall's face paled.  
"Very well, I shall have to inform Dumbledore."  
She left, and James waited a full ten seconds before sprinting out of the Common Room. As soon as he was out on the grounds, he transformed into Prongs, and ran straight into the Forbidden Forest.

Lily yawned widely and sat up. She blinked as bright light stung her eyes, and rubbed them to clear them of their weariness.  
She nearly fainted when she opened them again.   
She was surrounded on all sides by wild flowers and they reached as high as her shoulders when she was sitting. She didn't know how she had gotten there, but she knew she didn't like it. The flowers where pretty enough, sure, but something didn't smell right, to coin a fraise from Remus.  
"Awake I see my dear."  
She turned to see a dark figure standing a few feet away. She couldn't make out their face, but she knew that they where human in the least.   
"What…what do you want?" she asked, attempting to stand on her shaking legs. The light started to drain from the sky and the clouds turned dark, and Lily felt terribly frightened.  
"A promise love, just your word of honor." The figure breathed heavily, and Lily felt her insides chill.  
"A promise of what?"  
"That when that child inside of you is born, you will give it to me."  
"NEVER!" Lily howled. She left James for her baby, and in the process had lost two of her closest friends. The child was all that she felt she had left, she would never hand it over.  
"Oh I don't mean to take and not give my dear," the figure hissed, and snapped its fingers. Out of nowhere another figure appeared, and threw the limp body of James Potter at his feet.  
"James!" she cried, and made for him, but the figure above him held up their hand.  
"You will give me the child, or he will die."  
From somewhere deep in her mind, she remembered Professor Trelawney's prediction.   
_'You'll die alone…the one you love will die…'_  
_No_, she silently begged, _not James. I love him so much._   
"Have you decided yet my dear?" the figure cooed, and Lily bit back a gag.  
"What will you do with my child?"  
"I will raise it to be a Dark Wizard. She will be most powerful."  
"How do you know what it's going to be? I could be a boy for all you know!"  
The figure pulled off its cloak, and Lily found herself looking into the hard eyes of Lord Voldemort.  
"I know everything, I am all powerful my dear, or didn't you already know that?"  
"MONSTER!" she cried, and flung herself at him.   
" Crucio," he said, almost lazily, and Lily fell to the ground in a twisted heap of pain.   
She cried loudly as her body jerked with spasms of hurt, and lay gasping on the ground when he called it off.  
"Do we have a deal Lily, or do I have to perform Avada Kedavra on your precious boyfriend?"  
Lily's eyes watered still from the Cruciatus Curse, but she stood up straight to face him.  
"If you promise never to hurt James, NEVER, then…then I will give you my child."  
"Done." Lord Voldemort strode froward and grasped Lily's forearm. She cried out softly as something burned in her arm, and looked down when he had pulled his hand away. The mark of a Death Eater was burned to her arm, and she looked up in rage.  
"You never said anything about being a Death Eater!" she cried.  
"No, no, my dear. I have no use for a Mudblood like you. This merely says that you have promised to give me your child, and no matter where you go…no matter where you hide, I will be able to find you because of it. Consider it something of a tracking spell."  
Lily choked back a sob as he strode toward James, and kicked him in the ribs. James let out small yelp of pain, but didn't awake.   
"Such a powerless young wizard this one. Oh don't get me wrong, Miss Evans, he is indeed powerful, but none is as powerful as I. He seems to love you regardless though. Perhaps you will be the downfall of me yet."  
She disappeared in a swirl of smoke, and the surrounding area faded back to the foliage of the Forbidden Forest.   
_What does he mean by we will be the downfall of him yet? If James and I aren't as powerful as he is…?  
_She dragged James to his feet and threw his arm over her shoulder. She blew lose hair out of her eyes and started in the direction of what appeared to be the castle.

James awoke groggily, and felt his head spinning terribly. His vision was blurry and he blindly groped for his glasses on the nightstand beside him.  
"Here." He heard a voice say, and felt ice cold hands place the thin frames on his pert nose.  
"Lily?" he asked as his world became focused.  
The red haired girl smiled weakly at him and nodded.  
"How do you feel?" she asked.  
"Like a couple thousand Hippogriffs just did a tap dance on my head."  
"That good eh?" she laughed, but James noted a slight emptiness in it, like something was missing from her.  
"Er, yeah. What happened?" he asked, and Lily fidgeted a little in her seat.  
"Well, you came to find me, and…uh…I got scared and hit you with a…disarming spell, but I put a little too much oomph in it I guess and knocked you out. You frightened me."  
"Well you scared the shit out of me when you went missing. What where you thinking when you went into the Forbidden Forest? Alone?"  
"I wasn't I guess."  
They lapsed into silence for a while, but James soon cleared his throat and asked the question Lily'd been dreading.  
"Why'd you break up with me?"  
"I had to, and let's just leave it at that."  
He stared at her for a minute, almost like he was contemplating something important.  
"Ok, we can, for now. But can I ask one more thing?"  
"Sure, I suppose so."  
He stuck up his pinky and smiled crookedly at her.  
"Friends?" he asked, and Lily beamed at him.  
"Friends." She said, taking his with her own.

* * *

I like that chapter a lot! I've been waiting to write it! So, what do you think? I know that it's a little confusing right now, but it'll all be explained later. As in later chapters!  
I'm so proud of myself too! This is the longest that I've ever stuck with a story! YAY!!!  
Owari,  
~ **Ember**  
Please review, I LIVE on reviews!!!!

!!Thanks!!

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Satans Little Princess - *glomps* Thank you! It doesn't suck! I'm SOOOOOOOOOOOO glad. ^.^  
**The Frisky Firelily** - You are so nice to say that! You really think it's a five star read? I feel so…special! Thank you so very very much!

  



	7. Away from There

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:: Chapter Seven ::  
**Downfall of Love  
Away from There**

Before Lily knew it, she was on her way home from school, never to return.  
She'd graduated at head of her class, a mere half a point away from James. Both being heads of their year, they had put together a spectacular speech, ending with an explosion of fireworks courtesy of Sirius. Of course, it had been for James, not her, but it still put that little something extra in.  
Out of all the Marauders, James was the only one that would talk to her. He had stayed true to his word and never tried anything but a friendly relationship with her, but he let it slip here and there that he still loved her.   
No matter how much she begged or apologized, Remus wouldn't even look at her. She tried to get Sirius to talk to him, but considering he was mad at her too, it never got her anywhere.  
So she sat alone in an empty compartment, watching the sun sink lower and lower in the sky as the scarlet steam engine puffed along.  
Her friends being mad at her was the least of her problems though, what was she going to tell her parents? She had owled them a few time over the year, telling them about James, but they had no idea she was pregnant.  
Just going into labor in the middle of the summer and saying 'Oh, by the way, I'm pregnant', didn't seem like such a good idea to her.  
At least she was old enough now where it wouldn't matter. But still, what was she going to say?  
Her compartment door slid open, and Lily looked up in surprise to see one of the other Gryffindor Chasers smiling at her.  
"Hullo!" she chirped and sat down beside her.   
She had hair a shade lighter than Lily's, and her eyes where a startling icy blue. Her teeth where straight and when she smiled Lily saw they where very white.  
"Er, hi…"  
"I'm Jamie, one of the Gryffindor Chasers. You probably don't know me; I'm a year behind you. But ANYWAY, I was wondering why you where sitting here all alone?"  
"Because I have no friends and am totally unpopular, why?"  
Jamie laughed; it was a high ringing laugh that reminded Lily of bells. She snorted, much to Lily's amusement, and calmed.  
"Totally not true! You're like…the coolest girl in school!"  
"Really?" Lily asked, a bit put off. She hated it when anyone said that to her, it wasn't like she'd ASKED to be popular. It just sort of…happened. Thanks to the Marauders and James that is.  
But she didn't want to think about the Marauders and James right then, it was too painful. She had to stay strong, for James' sake, and for her baby's.  
"Yep! So, yeah…I was wondering if you would like to come and sit with me and my friends?"  
"No, but thanks just the same." Lily smiled, almost ruefully, at Jamie, but the other girl decided not to take no for an answer.  
"Well then we'll come sit with you! You shouldn't be here all by yourself. It's not cool."  
With that, she leapt up from her seat and dashed out of the compartment. Lily shook her head and began to stare out the window again.   
The compartment door slid open again, and not hearing a stampede of gossiping girls, Lily turned to see who it was. James smiled widely at her, and she nodded at him.  
"Jamie been here yet?"  
"Yeah, how'd you know about that?" she inquired, an eyebrow raised. He shrugged.  
"I told her you where sitting by yourself, and she thought it was her duty to come and make you socialize. She's a little off sometimes."  
"Sometimes? A little?"   
James laughed and sat down beside her. He put his arm around the back of the train's bench, just above her shoulders.  
"She's really nice though, when she's not being annoying, and GREAT at giving advice. I talk to her a lot now, since…well…then."  
'Then' referring to the time that he and Lily had been together. He didn't know how to act around Lily anymore. He loved her so much, and not being able to hold her and touch her was driving him crazy.  
"That's good to know, but what about Sirius? Why don't you talk to him about it?"  
"Because he um…well T.L he kinda hates your guts right now."  
"Thanks for that pick me up." She droned, glaring at him.  
"It's not MY fault you and Remus are hiding something from him! What is it anyway? I promise I won't tell him."  
Lily paled.   
"I can't tell you either."  
James pouted childishly.  
"Why not? I already promised I wouldn't tell! Come on…tell old James alllllll about it."  
She shoved him away by the shoulder, and he fell across the seat, moaning in fake pain.  
"Oh shut up." She exclaimed, rolling her eyes.  
"It hurt, it really did!"  
"Sure it did, uh huh."  
"I'm not kidding!"  
He moaned again, and clutched his elbow, which he claimed to be in such pain that it needed a kiss.  
"Ok, cut it out." She said.  
"Oh but PLEASE? It'll make it feel all-better! Just one?"  
Lily blew her hair out of her eyes. He was doing this on purpose; she'd known him long enough to know that he was defiantly up to something. After all, if you give a mouse a cookie…  
"NO."  
"Please?"  
"No."  
"Please?"  
"No."  
"Please?"  
"No."  
"PLEEEEASE???"  
"FINE! Fine, but just ONE."  
He held up his elbow for her to kiss, and she quickly pecked it. She looked away blushing, and James grinned satisfied…some what.  
"You're blushing T.L."  
"So what?"  
"So…why are you blushing?"  
"No reason."  
James leaned in close to her ear.  
"Then why blush?" he whispered, and she turned around to face him. Their lips lingered inches apart, and James leaned forward to kissed her softly. They blinked, and then crushed their lips together, pulling the other as close as humanly possible.   
_Gods, he tastes so good_, her mind screamed, and she hungrily fed on his mouth. She felt tears burn her eyes, because she knew that she shouldn't be doing this. But for once her heart stomped down her brain, and she stayed in James' warm embrace.  
The compartment door slid open, and they sprang apart, looking for the world like toddlers caught with their hands in the cookie jar.  
"Er…sorry?" Jamie said, shrugging helplessly.   
Lily burst into tears and fled from the compartment.   
"Lily wait!" she heard James cry after her, bewildered.

Lily found herself in the baggage car sitting on her warn trunk. Her tears had dried long ago, but she still felt like she was stuck in some sick joke. James says he loves her, she runs away, Sirius brings her to her senses, James and her make love, she gets pregnant, she brakes up with him so he can live a normal life after school, Remus and Sirius become incredibly pissed at her, Lord Voldemort threatens James' life so he can have the baby she's caring, James becomes her only friend afterwards, and THEN she kisses him like a nutter.   
_Sounds like a fucking soap opera_, Lily thought bitterly, picking at a fading piece of paper peeling from the side of her trunk.  
She looked down at her stomach, and could just make out the bulge there. She had been one of those lucky women that don't show until their fifth or six month (AN: Yes, this is TRUE. My brother's girlfriend didn't show until her sixth month. I hate her! If I EVER get pregnant, I'm going to be a blimp!), and thanked whatever deity was listening. The problem still remained though, that she didn't have a story for her parents.  
"Aren't you cold dear?"  
She spun around to face an old woman, probably in her sixties, sitting on a trunk a few away from her own.  
"No, not really." Lily said, smiling. For some reason Lily felt at ease with the old women, like she could trust her somehow.  
"What are you planning to do love?" she asked, shifting position so that she could look Lily clearly in the eye.  
"Do about what?"  
"Why, that handsome young man that's so in love with you, that's what. You're so in love with him, that you can't see the path in front of you. Sometimes dear, the quickest way to the solution is to get away from the problem."  
Lily pondered this for a moment, then her eyes sparked to life.  
"You're right! That's exactly what I'll do!"  
The old women nodded at Lily reassuringly.  
"You're going to-"  
"Run away!" Lily exclaimed.  
The old women blinked, a little taken aback.  
"No, no love, I didn't mean it like that. I meant-"  
"Well whatever you meant, the quickest way to MY solution is to run away. I'll just borrow his broomstick…"  
Lily placed a note inside of Sirius' trunk that she was sorry, but that she had to take it for the good of her future, and placed her owl Jamie on top of it.   
"Fair trade I think, how about you?"  
She turned around, but the old women had gone. Lily shrugged it off, and pulled open the side of the car. The wind whipped her hair around her face at a stinging speed, and she mounted the broomstick. After charming her trunk to float along behind her, she took off into the sky, away from all her problems. At least, SHE thought it was away, but maybe it was right into the thick of them.

"That was terrible Aggie."  
The old women from the baggage car appeared beside Dumbledore's desk, a look of confusion on her face.  
"Well, I thought the message was clear at the time Albus. Simply forget about the problem and let your heart take control."  
"No old friend, teenagers do not think the same as you and I did at that age. They take everything at face value."  
"Oh."  
The old women, whose eyes where jade green, and whose hair was just shade off of white, looked at her feet. Dumbledore rose from his desk and smiled reassuringly at her.  
"You will do better next time, Aggie. You are still yet learning."  
"Yes, you are right. I must succeed though, if I'm to stop my grandson."  
"Love will be his downfall yet Aggie, believe in that."  
Aggie nodded at Dumbledore and set her jaw in determination

* * *

Oi, I just came up with Aggie like, two seconds ago. ^.^ At first I was going to make her Lord Voldemort's mother, but I remembered that she was young when she died, so I changed it to his grandmother. I figured that Lily needed a little push in the right direction, and the story needed some comic relief, because it might get incredibly dark in the next few chapters. I'll explain Aggie's character COMPLETELY in the next chapter or two, so if you're confused you will be cured of it fairly quickly.  
**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW PLEASE!!!!!!**   
Owari,  
~Ember

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THANK YOUS

  
**thistlemeg** - I kept going, hope this chapter was as interesting as the rest. Thanx for reviewing BTW! *glomps*  
**Sarah** - Er, glad it's funny they're gay. I thought it was kinda cute, but as long as the reader is happy…  
**Satans Little Princess **- Thank you so much for reviewing AGAIN. I haven't had one person review twice in…ever. ^_^  
**evil*fairy** - Well, she doesn't have to actually give it up, she…wait, I can't tell you! ^.^  
**Elena** - That is an excellent question, and I hoped I answered it in the above chapter. My brother's girlfriend really didn't start showing she was pregnant until her fifth or sixth month. Bitch…..  
**The Frisky Firelily** - Ok you are my new best friend! *hands her a basket full of virtual cookies* A six? Waiii! Thanks so much! And, again, thanks for reviewing twice.   
**Ariana** - It's out! Yay! I don't think this part was as good as the last one, but I hope you still like it. My writing is excellent? REALLY? THANKS!!!!  
**LupinsLover** - One of the best ones you've ever read? YAY! Thanks oh so much!!!!


	8. Spiritual Guide

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:: Chapter Eight ::  
**Downfall of Love  
Spiritual Guide**

"Rain, rain go away…"  
Lily rubbed her eyes, freeing them of rainwater.  
An hour after she had left the baggage car of the Hogwarts Express, it had started to pouring. Lily didn't know she could get so wet, and shivered for the cold.  
Her robes had failed to protect her from the storm long ago, and they clung to her form. Her hair was matted to her head, and began to weigh heavy on her back.  
She needed to land and find somewhere dry, safe, and maybe with something to eat?  
"Okay broom, I don't like you and you obviously don't like me, but if you promise to land nice, I'll never fly you again." She nodded and the broom twitched as if it understood her.  
Lily began to descend slightly, and let out a terribly cry as it bolted toward the ground.  
"Oh shiiiiit!" she screamed as the ground neared, and hit it with a sickening crack. She rolled with the force of the impact, and stopped a few feet away from the broomstick, which lay in pieces.  
"Ow…" she said, rubbing her back.

"Hello Remus dear, how was you last year?"  
Remus smiled politely at the Evans', secretly wishing her were somewhere else.  
"Horrible, but interesting at least." He admitted.  
"Oh, that's too bad honey." Mrs. Evans soothed, stepping forward to embrace him. He felt awkward in her arms, being that he was still mad at Lily, but tried his best to hug her back.  
Mr. Evans stood off to the side, a grumpy expression on his face.  
"Are Lily and that boy still together?" he asked, and Remus shook his head.  
"No, they broke up awhile ago."  
Mr. Evans brightened.  
"Oh good!" he exclaimed.  
Mrs. Evans shook her head.  
"Ignore him Remus, he's just worried she'll take off and get married and leave him alone with me. Although I AM his wife."  
"What about Petunia? Did she finally marry that Vernon guy?"  
Mrs. Evans cringed.  
"Yes, unfortunately."  
Remus laughed, but calmed as he remembered whom he was talking to. He needed to get away before Lily showed up.  
A horrible cry suddenly echoed threw the platform, and Sirius appeared in the crowed, followed by a ver dejected looking James.  
"That bitch!" Sirius roared angrily, "She took my broomstick!"  
"Who?" Remus asked as the two marched over toward him and the Evans'.  
"Lily! Look!"  
Sirius thrust a ripped piece of parchment in his face and he scanned it over.   
"She ran AWAY?!?!" he screeched.   
Mrs. Evans turned pale and fainted, and Mr. Evans caught her in his arms.  
He scrutinized the three before him heavily.  
"You all have a LOT to fill me in on." He said.

After Mrs. Evans was put to bed and everyone's parents had been owled that they'd be staying somewhere else for the next night or two, the three Marauders sat up late into the night telling Mr. Evans about their past year at Hogwarts. He almost threw James out the window when he told him what he and Lily had done that night in the Common Room.  
Remus restrained him, with surprising strength, until he's calmed down.  
"You had sex with my daughter?!?" he roared.  
James stood to face him, his face set in a way his friends had never seen before.  
"We didn't have sex," he said, "we made love."  
This made Mr. Evans calm down, and Remus released him.  
"I think it's time for bed," he said and Mr. Evans nodded.  
"Yes, you're right. Remus, you and Sirius, that's your name right? Good. Remus and Sirius can share Petunia's old room, and YOU," he glared at James, "can have the couch."

Petunia's old room was huge, and had two twin beds in it. It had been styled into a sort of guestroom, so most of Petunia's old things had been packed away and out of the room.  
Sirius eyed the room wearily, almost like he was afraid something would spring to life and bite him.  
"The beds are quite comfortable, I slept on them a couple of times over the summer." Remus said from behind him.  
Sirius ignored him and marched to the opposite side of the room, kicking open his truck and pulling out his pajamas.  
His resolve lasted a full two minutes before he turned to Remus to apologize.  
He flushed scarlet when he was Remus was changing too.  
The young werewolf had thrown his wizarding robes aside to reveal a body clad in tight light blue jeans, and a gray shirt that hugged his torso in all the right places.  
He pulled of his shirt, and Sirius let out a squeak and turned around.  
He and Remus had made love plenty of times, but always in the dark where Sirius couldn't see his body. Remus' flesh was marred with thousands of scars from where he bit and scratched himself each full moon, and loathed to have anyone look at him. Not even Sirius, he's supposed mate, had seen him naked.  
Seeing it now, with the light reflecting off of him and giving his toned skin a sort of glow, he couldn't help but feel flustered.  
_Moony is so beautiful_, he thought.  
"Padfoot, you ok?"  
He felt Remus' hand on his shoulder.  
"YEP!" he said, a little too loud.  
"You sure? You made that weird noise a second ago and now you're acting weird."  
"I'm…" Sirius turned around suddenly, grabbing Remus' elbows.  
"Where you and Lily cheating on James and I?"  
"Wh-what?" Remus stuttered.  
"Where you and Lily cheating on James and I? It's the only logical answer damnit! Lily and James where so in love, then they break up, and Lily starts spending so much time with you! You start hiding things from me…and…damn you! You said you'd love me forever! That you could only mate once…that I was the only one-"  
Remus placed a finger over his lips, silencing him.  
"I DO only mate once love. I can't live without you, if you die, so do I. We are bonded together forever. Always. I can't cheat on you Sirius; it's physically impossible for me. You own my soul don't you see? You could say jump, and I would. Besides that, if you haven't noticed, I'm a little gay."  
Sirius laughed, tears in his eyes, and cupped Remus' face in his hands.  
"Thank GOD." He said, and Remus kissed him fiercely.  
They lost themselves in the kiss, and soon fell to the floor, Sirius on top and pinning Remus to the floor.  
He smiled crookedly down at him love.  
"Maybe we can share a bed tonight." He cooed, and the other nodded happily.

James woke up before the sun the next morning.  
He found his way to the back door and sat on the steps outside. As he watched the sun rise, the back door opened again and Mr. Evans stepped out. He handed James a cup of coffee, and the two sat in silence for awhile.  
"You really love my Lily don't you James?" He finally asked, and James nodded.  
"Yes, I do."  
"It's obvious that you do, but…you won't hurt her will you?"  
"I'd die first." James said hoarsely, his throat tightening with emotion.  
"Good," Mr. Evans said and clapped James on the back.

Lily yawned widely and sat up to stretch. The ragged blanket that lay across her lap fell to the floor and she bent to retrieve it.  
He stomach rumbled loudly to remind her of her hungry, and she laughed softly, rubbing her abdomen.  
"Hungry are we little one?" she asked fondly.  
Last night after fumbling around in the dark for hours in the rain, she had come across the old house. Cold and incredibly tired, she stumbled inside. After lighting her wand and starting a fire, she had inspected the house. It was falling down all around her, and she had to be careful where she stepped because of lose floor boards. But over all, the house was in well enough shape to stay in the den without fear of it collapsing in on you.  
Lily padded into the kitchen, and stopped in surprise, her eyes wide.  
A huge table was laden down with nearly every breakfast food imaginable to man.  
"Eat all you like dear, there's plenty there."  
Lily turned to see the old woman from the train sitting on a stool, looking very pleased with herself.  
"Who ARE you? What are you doing here, and how the HELL did you find me?"  
The old woman just smiled.  
"All will be explained child, but first-please sit."  
Lily sat down, and a plate magically appeared before her.  
"Eat." The old woman commanded, and Lily started to load her plate with a little bit of everything. Again she felt the soothing presence of calm with the old woman, but still couldn't place as to why.  
"My name is Aggie, and I am here to help you down the foggy path of your future."  
Lily snorted, but Aggie took no notice of it.  
"Before you know it child, death will be at your door, but I am here to try and help you look beyond that, work beyond it, and feel beyond it. I'm a Spiritual Amici. Or guardian spirit if you must."  
"You're a Spiritual Amici?"  
Lily asked, eyebrow raised, syrup dripping from her bottom lip.  
"Yes, I am."  
"And I need one because…?"  
"You're in a time of up most spiritual conflict child! Do you know what I am, or what I mean? REALLY?"  
"Yeah--Amici-noun, spiritual presence that only a few chosen can see, provided to wizards and witches by their mentors to help in a time of great conflict. Roughly translated in Latin means 'friend'…"  
Aggie looked surprised.  
"Really? Friend?"  
Lily nodded.  
"But why are you REALLY here?" she asked, and Aggie's face turned somewhat dark.  
"To save our world, the Muggle world, and your own."

* * *

I'm sorry if there are too many typos, but I wrote this in my Physics class and had to type it out. (duh) I'm a fast typer, but not very accurate. Anyway, please forgive me!! ^_^  
As for the term Amici, it's mine. Well, not ACTUALLY mine, it really does mean friend in Latin, though I can't remember if it's the feminine form or the masculine form. But as for the definition and all that, I DO own that. If you want to use it, just ask. I'll say yes, I would just like to be asked first. If you want to use it at all that is…  
Hope this chapter was as good as the last…if it was good at all. I decided that I wouldn't post the next chapter until I have 10 reviews on this chapter. I know, that's stupid, but…I don't think it's all that difficult, do you? Just 10, that's not too bad.  
**SO PLEASE REVIEW!!! THE REVIEW BUTTON IS YOUR FRIEND!!!**

Owari,  
~ Ember

Thank Yous!  
**Satans Little Princess** - Thanks for reviewing AGAIN. You rule you know that? Reviews like that make me want to write more and more!  
**Sarah** - Well, I can't tell you WHEN James and Lily are going to get together. I have a few ideas running around in my head; we'll just have to see which comes out to be the best. Thanks for reviewing AGAIN, BTW.  
**lunita** - You are so sweet to say that! You really look to see if I've updated yet? Oh thank you!! That makes me feel so good! *glomp*


	9. Around and back Again

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:: Chapter Nine ::  
**Downfall of Love  
Around and back Again**

"You're a crazy nutter! My world, OUR world, THE WORLD is safe! I made sure it would be!"  
"Did you? When you gave up your child, it was to save the one you love, not the world."  
"I know that! But now James can live his life freely. He's strong enough to save the world! He and his friends, they're strong enough."  
Aggie paused and gave Lily the once over with her eyes. Her brow creased in a frown, and her eyes pierced Lily's with a glare.  
"You have so much faith in his strength, yet none in his love. His strength, and the strength of those around him, is drawn from his love. Love, my child, is the only thing that will defeat the dark and promote the light. Staying away from him, will surely kill him in the end."  
Lily's face paled, and she looked away from Aggie. The words stung. She had worked so hard, breaking her heart the whole way, to keep James safe and to let him have a life of his own. Yet now, this woman was telling her that all of her efforts were in vain, and that she should have been doing the exact opposite.  
"What do I have to do?" Lily rasped, and the old woman nodded approvingly.  
"Go to him, and give him your heart."  
Lily looked down at her feet after Aggie said this.  
She wanted nothing more than to give in and let her heart win, but…  
"Do you think he'll still want me? Even after everything I've done, after all that's happened?"  
Aggie smiled sweetly at Lily and motioned for her to come closer. When she get near enough, the older woman gave Lily a gentle hug.  
"He will love you more because of it all child. Do you know what soul mates are? They're two souls created for the simple reason of being together. You and James are soul mates. You are lucky that you found one another at all, and should let nothing stand in your way my dear. Finding a soul mate in this world is like finding a needle in a haystack. Don't let him go Lily. To find your other half is a rare phenomenon indeed."  
"But what-"  
"Shush now! All these whats and ifs, they're not important. What is important it that you go home, and soon."  
Lily nodded, her face set in determination.  
"You're right Aggie."  
The old woman simple smiled at her ward.  
"I always am."

James tossed and turned in his sleep, aggravated and upset over the resent turn of events. Lily had been missing for a week now, and he couldn't find a trace of her. Even after owling the Department of Missing Magical People, he was still left empty handed. He'd tried, really tried, stayed up late into the night and got up entirely too early for someone on their last summer vacation. His nerves where fried, and he couldn't think straight.  
Somewhere into the week, after coming home from the Evans' house, Remus, Sirius, and Peter had arrived and tried to get him to calm some, but nothing helped. Nothing would help, until Lily was safe and back in his arms.  
Scratch that, Lily would never be back in his arms, she wasn't in love with him anymore. But…he just had to know she was safe, safe and alive, before he could even consider returning to his normal life habits.  
Sighing loudly he threw the blankets off of him and climbed out of bed. It was raining outside and the light of the moon cast eerie water effects on his walls as the water washed down his window. He took some aspirin, chased it down with some water, and proceeded to walk in circles around his room.  
A soft tapping came to his window, and his eyes shot up. A man was flying outside his window, totally drenched, with a small figure seated in front of him on the broom.  
His eyes widened as the figure waved half heatedly at him.  
"LILY!" he exclaimed, rushing to his window and pulling it open. The girl clamored into his arms, and he hugged close against his bare chest, forgetting to care about her soaking state.  
The man on the broomstick just smiled ruefully at the pair and sped off into the night. Lily rushed to the window and hung outside of it, calling after him.  
"BYE ARTHUR! THANK MOLLY FOR EVERYTHING!" she yelled, waving. He waved over his shoulder at her, and then disappeared into the surrounding night.  
She didn't even get to turn around before James swept her up into another hug; this one so fierce Lily couldn't breath. When he pulled away, he grabbed her by the forearms and began to shake her.  
"You idiot, do you KNOW how worried I've been? Do you do know what everyone's been going through? Your mother practically had a stroke! Remus can hardly eat…YOU SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ALL OF US!" he roared, shaking her again.   
Lily didn't pull away from his firm grasp, nor did she flinch at it. She simply took it, because she knew she deserved it.  
She deserved far more really, but at the moment was too tired to worry about that.  
At this point James had her in his arms again, and she could feel warm tears flowing down her cheek. They weren't her's, and she looked up in wonder at James, brushing them away.  
"Why are you crying?" she asked.  
"I thought I'd lost you completely. I thought…I'd never see you again! Please don't ever go away again. Please, please, please." He ranted as he buried his face in her damp hair.  
She just let him hold her for awhile, willing herself to get the courage she needed.  
"James," she finally said, "we need to talk. *I* need to talk. I have…I have to tell you something."  
He nodded, rubbing his face free of tears and motioned her to sit on his bed. She did, and he joined her, sitting closing enough to ensure she was real.  
"Arthur Weasley works for the Department of Magical Missing People," she began seeing his eyebrows shoot up in surprise, "and he came to find me after he got your letter. He said he'd been in your shoes at one point. He found me just outside the border of Scotland. I stayed with he and his family for a few days, because his wife insisted that I get some rest and get properly fed." She smiled and laughed, then started again.  
"Molly, Arthur's wife, wanted me to stay for a few more days before Arthur brought me home but…I couldn't stay away from everyone any longer. I couldn't stay away from you any longer. I made a stupid fool mistake James."  
"Really?"  
She nodded.  
"Do you remember that night in the Common Room?"  
"How could I forget it, it was the best night of my life."  
"It was mine, too, but…James, do you like children?"  
James' eyes drew together in confusion at the question.  
"Yeah, I suppose. I don't see what that has to do with any-"  
"You're going to be a father."  
There, she'd said it. Now all she needed was James' reaction.  
"I'm going to be a…what?"  
Well, Lily mused; at least he wasn't throwing things. YET.  
"A father. I didn't tell you because…I thought you deserved better. You have so much potential! You could be anything, anything you want! Having me…and having a baby…would only tie you down. You don't need that! You don't deserve that and I didn't think it would be fair for me to push it on you."  
James had gotten up from the bed by now, and was prowling around the room, a look of utter disbelief on his face. He whirled on her when she'd finished, eyes flashing.  
"You decided to make a life altering decision about me…without my consent?!? That's half me in there you know! I can't believe you thought…"  
"Please James, I just thought that you wouldn't want it. I wanted you to have a clear conscience about it all!"  
"Well you thought WRONG." He spat.  
He stormed out of his room, leaving Lily alone. Tears feel silently down her face, but she didn't bother to brush them away.   
She deserved all the pain she got. Everything, all of it, was her fault. She put her face in her hands and wept.   
Nurturing arms linked themselves about her shoulders, and she felt herself being pulled into a warm embrace.  
"Shh…he'll be back. I promise."  
Lily hugged Aggie tightly against her, and cried herself to sleep.

Remus stretched his lanky body and sat up, yawning. Beside him Sirius snored on uninterrupted, peacefully dreaming about whatever it was he dreamed about.  
Peter slept in the bed across the room, sound asleep as well.   
When Mrs. Potter had first asked them to come stay for awhile to help James, everyone had arrived within minuets ("Thank God for Appearing!" Sirius had said). When settling into the guestroom, Mrs. Evans had regretfully told them that two of them would have to share a bed.   
Remus snickered as he remembered Sirius' wide smile as he exclaimed that he didn't mind that he would actually enjoy it.  
Mrs. Potter had laughed and patted her son's friend's cheek. She had been teasing him, she knew about their relationship, and told them as often as she could that she thought it was adorable.   
Lily had said that too, that they were adorable.  
Pain flooded his chest as he thought of his best friend. Ah, why hadn't he told? Why hadn't he said something? Maybe she'd be here right now, instead of off Merlin knew where.  
Warm hands snaked around his waist, and someone nuzzled his shoulder.  
"Come back to bed." Sirius said sleepily.  
Remus shook his head, laying it on top of his lover's.   
"I've got to go get James to eat his breakfast silly. You know that. We already have system set up. I'm in the morning, Peter in the afternoon and you in the evening, if we're lucky enough to get you up by then."  
Sirius snorted softly and pulled away.  
"*yawn* Actually, breakfast sounds good. I can't remember the last time I'd had eggs."  
"A week ago at Hogwarts, stupid."  
"I'm not stupid!" Sirius cried, fake hurt flashing across his face.  
"Sure you are…"   
Sirius pounced on Remus, and the two went wrestling through the sheets.  
"Hey!" a muffled cry called across the room, "I thought we'd agreed you wouldn't do that with me in the room and conscience!"  
They laughed until tears streamed down their cheeks, and Peter walked over to perch himself on the edge of their bed.  
"Who's up for breakfast?" he asked, and his friends smiled at him. Peter may not always be there, he may be a little below their level, but he was a good friend to them. He did care, and showed it every way he could.  
"Me!" Sirius cried, putting him in a headlock.   
"ARG! PADFOOT! LEGGO!"  
After rough housing for a bit, the three left the room, stomach's rumbling with hunger.   
"I'll get Prongs." Remus offered, and the other two nodded and marched toward the kitchen.  
Cracking open James' bedroom door, his mouth dropped as he saw who occupied the bed.  
"LILY?"

James wondered into his front door, well past morning. His shoulder's sagged with the weight of a thousand tons, and his eyes were red. Whether from crying or lack of sleep, no one knew. But what they did know, was Lily's secrete. Everything was out in the open, everyone knew the score, and were waiting for the last note to be played.  
James nodded curtly at everyone, and gave Lily a small glance. After Remus had found her in James' room that morning, she told them. Told Sirius and Peter, and Mrs. Potter everything. They all knew, and were waiting…HOPING…that in the end it all turned out right.  
Lily spoke first.  
"James, will you forgive me?"  
He whirled on her.  
"Forgive you? How could I? You've kept MY CHILD a secrete from me for months! I had I a right to know! You should have told me."  
"Yes, I should have…"   
Lily hung her head, and James felt his heart melt. He could never stay mad at her…he loved her entirely too much.  
He walked toward her and pulled her into another embrace like the night before. She melted into him, and he felt a small missing part of his heart return.  
"I forgive you Lily, if you'll forgive me for not seeing some sign sooner."  
"There's nothing to forgive. I'm just sorry I ever…ever doubt your love."  
James smiled and kissed her softly on the lips, pulling away with a look of complete love in his eyes.  
Lily's reflected his emotions as she sank to one knee on the floor. Grabbing his left hand, she looked up into his eyes.  
"James Potter," she asked, "will you marry me?"

* * *

WAIII! Chapter Nine is FINALLY out, ne? I'm proud of myself, too! Sorry I didn't post sooner, but my creative juices stopped working for awhile. The last paragraph totally sucked, but…I wanted to get this out before seven so everyone could read it, so I rushed it a little. Hope it was still ok.  
And look! They're together!  
YAY!  
I was really getting tired of them being apart for so long too. I mean, angst is fun to write, but only for so long.  
Well, must book.  
Ja matte ne!  
~ Ember

THANK YOUS!

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thistlemeg - People that don't get fat when they get pregnant suck. .; Nothing against your mom tho, more power to her! Thanks for reviewing too!  
**lunita** - Hehe! Sorry I didn't write, but I was drawing a blank. Hope this chapter made you happier!  
**ember** - It's like a soap opera! I really hate stories like those, but…they are SOOOO much fun to write! I'm against review limits too to tell you the truth, but…I was really totally blank on what to write next, so I figured that if I set a limit, I'd have awhile to work on it. That's why. Might do it again too. I'm drawing a blank again!  
**AdeleighTheIrishPrincess** - Oh, confusing name. 0.o BUT thanks for reviewing! They're happy again, see?  
**Maci** - Aww, thanks lots! I'm soo very happy you like it!  
**LupinsLover** - ^.^ I really really really like your review! That was so spiffy of you to say! Sirius glomps for you!  
**Satans Little Princess** - Sorry Ch. 9 didn't come out so quick. I was drawing a blank completely. Thanks for reviewing! Hope this chapter's as good as the last one!  
**Ariana** - I hate it when I forget to sign in, then you've got to go back and redo all that stuff and ick. :P Hope this chapter was less depressing…I think it was. A little boring BUT…yeah. ^.^V

  



	10. Wedding Day - Part One

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:: Chapter Ten ::  
**Downfall of Love  
Wedding Day - Part One**

AN: Hey guys! Sorry this took so long to get out! All I've got say is this part is a bit confusing. It starts out with Lily getting ready for her wedding, and then flashes back to the events before the wedding day came. Remember, this part is confusing and a little…stupid, but essential to the whole of the story!  
**Disclaimer**: © to J.K Rowling. Me no own.

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Lily twirled around in front of her mirror, giggling happily. Her long beautiful red hair was pulled back in a high ponytail, a few small ringlets framing her face. Her soulful green eyes sparkled with excitement, wonder, and nervousness.  
"My baby girl!" her mother wailed, flinging her arms around her and crying hysterically.  
"Mum, calm down. I'm just getting married."  
"Just getting married she says!" cried Mrs. Evans, clutching her daughter close.  
Lily sent the other woman in the dressing room a pleading glance.  
"Now, now Mrs. Evans, this is a good thing! That baby will have a father and you'll be a happy grandma soon! Besides, they'll be staying with you and your charming husband for a bit, so they'll be close by!" Molly Weasley soothed, only to increase Mrs. Evans wailing.  
Lily cringed.  
"Come on, I think some Ogden Old Firewhiskey in a bit of tea would do you wonders. Finish getting ready Lily girl, we'll be back soon."  
"Thank you Molly." Lily mouthed gratefully, and the older woman just nodded.  
After her mother and Molly had left, she finished applying her make-up. She placed the thin vial atop her head and stepped back to view her final appearance.  
"You clean up nice Miss Evans." A deep voice whispered from behind her, and she spun around to face Sirius.  
"Sorry, I can't say the same about you Mr. Black."  
He laughed loudly and flung his arms around her waist.  
"James was right to nickname you Tiger Lily, Miss Evans. It suits you so well."  
"As dumbass does you."  
He laughed again, a barking sort of laugh that fit him perfectly. He sobered and squeezed her tightly before he pulled away.  
"I've come to inform you that your wedding ceremony is about to begin. I'm here to escort you down stairs milady."  
He bowed and took her hand, kissing it.  
Lily smiled nervously.  
"How's James?" she asked.  
"As nervous as cattle in a slaughter house and about ready to lose all that alcohol we made him drink last night." Said Remus, voicing his appearance.  
"Ha ha Remy-chan."  
"Don't get smart with me Lily, I'm still mad at you!"  
"What for?"  
Remus glared at her and placed a hand on his hip in a very feminine gesture.  
"Don't play stupid! You *KNOW* what!"  
"You mean that comment the other night about you being one of her bride's maids?" quipped Sirius, who soon regretted it as Remus sent him the evil eye.  
Good show Padfoot, you sure aren't going to get any tonight, he thought sulkily to himself.  
"You WOULD have looked good in pink Remy-chan."  
"Bite your tongue!" Remus exclaimed, horrified.  
Lily laughed and embraced her two closest friends, mind drifting back to how this day came to be.

"No."  
Lily felt like her heart had just collapsed, and she tried to hold back tears of rejection.  
"PRONGS!" Remus loudly corrected, but stopped as James held up his hand.  
"I will not marry you Lily Evans…until," he pulled her into his arms, "you marry me first."  
Lily smiled through her now flowing tears of happiness.  
"You idiot! That makes no sense!"  
"Is that a yes?"  
"Did you hear me say no?"  
James caught her lips in a fierce kiss, which ended in them pulling back breathless.  
"Hell yeah!" Sirius exclaimed, punching the air with his fist. Mrs. Potter gave him an disapproving look, and he smiled apologetically.  
"Sorry, but…HELL YEAH!"  
James and Lily laughed; Remus rolled his eyes, and Peter…Peter snuck silently from the room.

"You're getting WHAT?!?"  
"Daddy, calm down, you're spitting."  
"*MARRIED*!!?" Mr. Evans exclaimed angrily, pacing about the living room.  
Mrs. Evans sat on the couch, her lips thin and pursed together.  
"Don't you two think you're a tad bit young?" she asked.  
Lily looked down at her feet.

"There's something else I haven't told you," James placed a comforting arm around her shoulders as she spoke, but Mr. Evans cut her off before she could finish.  
"Just tell me you're not pregnant…" he said softly.  
Lily bit her bottom lip.  
"Funny you should say that Daddy. Very ironic, because…SURPRISE! You're gonna be grandparents!"  
James smacked the palm of his hand to his forehead. Lily had actually been listening to that goofy, long-winded speech of Sirius' about how to tell her parents.  
They were in for it now!  
Mr. Evans' face turned a deep red, and he soon let out a terrible roar that sounded suspiciously like that of a dragon's.  
"WHAT?!?" he bellowed.  
James felt Lily cringe under his arm.  
"It…it just happened. We're of age now anyway Dad…it's not like…it's not like we were just two drunken teenagers looking for a good time when it happened. We did it because of love…because…because it felt right! I love James Daddy, and I will marry him, with or without your consent."  
Lily set her jaw; much the way that Mr. Evans currently had his set, and stared at him with her bright green eyes.  
And then, to her surprise, Mr. Evans leaned forward and hauled her into his arms. Tears sprang to both of their eyes, and they clutched one another close as they cried.  
Mrs. Evans approached James and gave him a tight hug, pulling back to smile at him.  
"Welcome to the family." She said, kissing his cheek.

"I am SO mad at you right now."  
"Prongs…it'll be fun! Besides, we've gotta celebrate!"  
"Yeah really Jamie old boy! Lighten up! Or has becoming a father already made you too up tight?"  
"Bite me."  
"No, I've got Remus for that."  
James punched Sirius in the ribs, making his gasp for breath.  
"Ow…"  
"You deserved it you know, that was a very perverted comment."  
"Come here Pete, I'm gonna knock you into next week!"  
Peter took off with a squeal; Sirius hot on his heals. Lily, James, and Remus watched them silently.  
"Do we know those two odd people?" Remus asked.  
"Nope, never seen 'em before."  
Lily laughed and tucked her arm around James', a bright smile lighting her face. She was so happy right then; nothing could bring her down.  
Except for the sudden burning on her arm. She looked around her, and spotted a hooded figure disappearing into a side alley not too far away. She let go of James' arm and took off after them, without even a backward glance.  
James and Remus looked at one another, raised their eyebrows, and then went off after her.

"HEY! I said HEY! Wait!"  
Lily caught the hooded figure about the middle, and brought them down with a loud 'umph'. She rolled the figure over, and glared defiantly down at Lord Voldemort.  
"Yes Lily my dear?" he asked.  
"Fuck you! What the hell are you doing here?"  
"Watching you."  
"Why?"  
"To see if what my Seers say are true. To see if you, my dear sweet flower, will bring my downfall."  
Lily felt herself being lifted off her feet by an invisible force, and watched as Lord Voldemort stood before her. He seemed taller since the last time she'd seen him, and more…ugly was it? Before, even though she had loathed the creature before her, she had taken the time to notice his handsome features. But now his face looked stretched across his facial bones, his nose seemed squished further into his face, and his eyes looked sly and snake like. Her thoughts broke as she was gently set back on the ground.  
"You love that Potter more than life itself, which is inspiring. You two have so little power, even together, you could not even HOPE to defeat me, and yet…my Seers insist that I be mindful of you. You, and your sickening boyfriend."  
"Stay away from James! You said you would!"  
"Oh I will, I will. I have no real interest in him. My only interest is you, and the child you carry."  
He stalked forward and placed hands around her face. He looked deep into her eyes, and try as she might she wasn't able to move her body to knock the hands away.  
_…don't look into his eyes…_  
Something whispered in her mind, and she clamped her eyes shut tight. She felt Voldemort's hot breath on her neck, and let out a little cry of fear. Voldemort simply kissed the side of her face, and dropped his hands from her face. In a whoosh his disappeared and left Lily alone in the alley, shaking with fear.  
"LILY!! LILY YOU IDIOT, WHERE DID YOU RUN TO?!"  
James and Remus came around the corner a split second later; both faces tinted red from their sprint. They saw her standing in the middle of the alley, face white as a sheet, and ran to catch her as she fainted.

"You know, we really have to stop with the fainting stuff. And the crying. Can't we all just be happy?" Sirius complained as he tucked a stray strand of hair back from Lily's sleeping face. His eyes teared up, and he looked away from Remus and James' knowing faces.   
Peter seemed suspiciously absent, but that was far in the back of their minds. Right now, they all sat around the sleeping girl's bed, watching her face for any sign of consciencenous. James sat on the right side of her head, with Remus on the left side, and Sirius by her feet.  
"She's just been through a lot lately. Maybe she's tired."  
"Maybe she's sick."  
"Maybe she's PREGNANT." Remus exclaimed, standing up.  
"Look, I've got a perfect idea. You two go cook some dinner for her, I'm sure she'll be hungry when she wakes up, and if you two are hovering over her so bad she'll probably knock you silly. I'll wait here until she wakes up, and I'll come get you the moment she does. Now go on, I've got it covered."  
Remus shooed them out of the room with a final wave of his hand. They went reluctantly, and as the door shut behind them, Remus collapsed into a near by chair.  
"They're gone now." He said to his 'sleeping' friend, who cracked one eye open slightly to make sure.  
"You're acting is amazing."  
Lily shrugged as she sat up, and Remus helped by leaning over to place extra pillows behind her back. She smiled gratefully at him.  
"I guess. Thanks for…you know."  
He nodded.  
"Now then, mind telling me what's up? Why you ran off like that, and WHO it was you ran off to?"  
"What makes you think it was to someone?"  
"I could smell it."  
"You and your damned heightened sense of smell!"  
"Sorry, that kinda comes with the whole werewolf thing. Now, tell me." He folded his arms over his chest, in a position that clearly stated that he wasn't going to move until she told him the whole story. She sighed.  
"Fine, but if you so much as breath a WORD of this to James, I'll-"  
"I won't you blasted idiot. Now get on with it, James and Sirius are terrible chefs."  
And Lily told him.

* * *

.; That was terrible. It'll get better next chapter! I'm trying to finish this before the Fifth book comes out because I read somewhere it will say why Voldemort was after The Potters. Oi, I'm so not liking this chapter. Baaaad…  
Owari!  
~ Ember

Thankies!  
Ember, lunita, Ariana, Vanessa, stellar, thistlemeg, Satans Little Princess - Thanks so much you guys! I would thank you each individually, but I'm in a bit of a hurry. :D Thank you all!!! Your reviews keep me writing!  
  
  



	11. Little One

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:: Chapter Eleven ::  
**Downfall of Love  
Little One**

AN: Er, sorry if I confused some of you last chapter. The first paragraph or so was the present, the rest was the past. So, to bring us up to speed, Remus knows about Lily's deal with Voldemort, and James and Lily are getting married.   
In this chapter, again, the first paragraph or so is the present (continuing on from where the last chapter left off), the rest is a flash back. Why am I writing my chapters like this now? Don't know, seemd like a good idea. :P

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Lily pulled away from Remus and Sirius with a small cry of pain. She crumbled to the floor and clutched her abdomen.  
"Lily! What's the matter?!" Remus exclaimed, falling to his knees beside her.  
"I think…oh OW!…contractions…" she gritted out between her teeth.  
"NOW!?!"  
"YES NOW!"  
Remus wrung his hands in worry. Sirius gave them both a curious look.  
"What's wrong?" he asked.  
"She's in labor you idiot!!"  
"Oh…OH MY GOD! Make it stop!"  
Remus growled at his lover.  
"You can't make it stop you moron! Now stop standing there like a queer and GO_GET_JAMES!"  
"Er, right!"  
He raced to the door, tripped over the hall rug, and fell face first into the wall, before gathering his wits enough to trample down the stairs calling loudly for James.  
"I love him…" Remus trailed off, shaking his head. Lily clutched his hand and took short breaths as the pain subsided.  
"Better?" he asked, and she nodded, bursting into tears.  
"I'm such an idiot Remy-chan! I…I'm ruining our wedding, and…what if…what if…OH GOD WHAT IF!" she cried, falling into his arms. He sighed, and patted her back comfortingly.  
"Don't worry," he said, "we'll protect you. Voldemort will never have your baby."

"Remus…please, look at me."  
"I can't."   
"Why?"  
"I can't bring myself to look into the face of someone who betrayed me."  
Lily looked down at her hands. Tears pooled in her eyes. She looked back up at him again.  
"How did I betray you?"  
"Don't you see it Lily?!? I'm a WEREWOLF!!"  
"Yeah, I know that."  
Remus launched himself onto the bed in one growl of anger and leveled their noses together.  
"Guilty by association." He hissed, and Lily's eyes widened in understanding.  
"But…you…I never meant for you-"  
"Of course you didn't." he spat, and leapt from the bed, stalking to the door and slamming it shut behind him.  
Lily heard dishes shatter outside the door. Her breath caught in her throat.  
Had James heard?  
"Jeez love, what's got your knickers in such a knot?" Sirius muffled voice sounded from behind the door.  
"None of your damned business!" she heard Remus snap.  
"Oh, ok. Sorry."  
The door opened and Sirius entered, caring a tray full of broken dishes. If he'd had a tail, Lily was sure it would be tucked between his legs.  
He pulled out his want and muttered _Reparo! _as he tapped the dishes a few times. The glass repaired itself instantly.  
He placed it across her lap.  
"Your dinner milady."  
She giggled, and he smiled at her as he sat next to her. She took a big bite of the sandwich, surprised by her sudden hunger. She began to chew, but stopped as she bit into something crunchy.  
She sent Sirius a curious look as she pulled a piece of glass out from between her lips. He shrugged.  
"Never was very good at that charm."  
"Obviously."  
"So…"  
"So?"  
Sirius played with a stray strand of her hair.  
"So…why's my Remus so upset?"  
Lily squirmed beside him.  
"Don't know," she struggled to keep her voice even, "why don't you go ask him?"  
Sirius yanked up the sleeve of her sweater, baring the Dark Mark on her forearm. His eyes flashed dangerously.  
"You fucking bitch!"  
"Sirius, please-"  
"SHUT UP!" he roared, grabbing the tray and throwing it across the room. She shrank away from him.  
"I warned you didn't I?! Did I tell you that if you hurt James I'd-"  
"I DID IT FOR HIM!" Lily screamed at him. Sirius started.  
"You think I'm in such a hurry to betray him again, but I'm not! I LOVE him, do you understand that? I had to do this to SAVE him!"  
"You made a deal with an insane dark wizard, he'll kill James anyway!"  
"Maybe so," Lily said softly, "but if I could save him, even if just for a short time, I'd do it. I'd die for him."  
"Would you?" Sirius snapped.  
"How can you even ask that?! Look at my arm Sirius! I sold my child to that bastard! You heard me telling Remus! I had to choose between him or MY CHILD, do you think that was easy for me?"  
"You should have chosen OUR child T.L., I'm not worth it."  
They looked to the doorway to find James leaning against its frame.  
Lily's hands flew to her mouth and gasped.  
"James!" she cried, tears filling her large emerald eyes.  
He straightened himself and walked toward her. Lily bowed her head in shame, but James' strong hand grabbed her shin and forced her to look at him.  
"You listen to me," he said evenly, "I'm sick of these secretes, I'm sick of being the last one to find out and I'm sick of seeing you hurt. The next time you have a problem, of any sort, which involves me, you come straight TO ME about it. I'm not worth it."  
"But you are!"  
James pressed a finger to her lips.  
"No, I'm not. Why you chose to love me Lily I'll never know, but…I want you to know that I'll always love you, and I'll always stand by you. No matter what kind of trouble you get into, or," he put their foreheads together, "whether it's your fault or not."  
Sirius exited the room after that, letting them have the time alone they seemed to desperately need. He sighed and ran a hand threw his hair as he marched down the stairs of the Potter house. He cursed himself for losing his temper, but…he loved James so much. His heart positively ached when James' did; he felt everything that his best friend did.  
Hmm, best friend.   
He found himself outside and looked up at the stars.   
_Best friend indeed_, he thought miserably. Truth be told, he loved James, would lay down his very life for him without a second thought.  
If it wasn't for Remus…or Lily…he didn't know how things would have turned out. James was his first crush, his first kiss…James was his world.  
"He was," Sirius whispered to himself, "but now…now I think it's time that I really let go. Yes, that would be best."  
The wind picked up and tousled his long black hair into his midnight blue eyes. He buried his face in his hands and shook it to clear up his sidetracked mind, and turned to walk back into the house. Moonlight spilled onto the spot that he had stood at, and a figure stepped from the shadows as the door closed with a sharp snap.  
A smirk graced the figure's pudgy face, and then they where gone.

(AN - Okies, enough with the flash backs, I'm done. :D Basically, this is where everything starts to fall apart. Just remember one thing as you read - love is what binds the Marauders and Lily together. :P)

"I WANT IT DAMNIT!!!"  
Sweat poured down Lily's face as she tried her hardest not to push yet. Her face contorted in pain and she let out a silent scream, clutching Remus' hand tightly.  
"GIVE HER THE DRUGS! GIVE HER THE DRUGS!" Remus shouted frantically.  
"You are going to have to calm down sir!" squeaked a nurse from beside him.  
"You're too far along Lily; you can't have them now. Calm down, breath with me…"  
"There is a CHILD the size a WATERMELLON trying to come out from a HOLE THE SIZE OF MY INDEX FINGER!! *YOU* CALM DOWN!!" Lily roared falling back against her pillows as a particularly hard contraction hit her.  
Remus gripped her hand tightly, and she let her eyes speak her gratitude to him. James, who had fainted after the realization hit him that he'd have a child, was resting in a separate room.   
"Ok, time to push." The doctor said, and Lily gritted her teeth and pushed with all her might.  
Remus brushed back the bangs from her sweaty face, softly encouraging her. The pain was terrible, and all she wanted was for it to be over. She pushed one last time with the last bit of her energy.  
"Ah-"  
"WHAAA!!!"  
"It's a girl!!" the doctor cried.  
He clipped the umbilical cord, cleaned her off, and handed her over to Lily. She looked down at the new born in her arms, tears streaming down her face.  
"Hello little one," she said as one tiny hand wrapped around her finger.

The baby's blue eyes focused on Lily, and Lily felt her heart melt.  
Remus sat beside her, hospital gown discarded, and kissed the top of her fuzzy head. Even now, she had peach fuzz of deep red.  
"She's beautiful Lily." Remus whispered.  
Lily nodded.  
The only thing she could think, the only thing that mattered to her right then was that she was a mother, and she was holding her child.

* * *

BOO! AHAHAHAHAAA! Hehe! Ok I'm done. SURPRISE! Bet you all thought it was going to be Harry didn't you? Didn't you?   
Yeah, I thought so.  
I can't wait to write the next chapter; it's the one you're all waiting for!! You know, when ol' Voldie comes to take Lily's precious baby…  
Wheee! So much fun. Can't wait to write that!!! It'll be out as soon as I can get it up!  
If this chapter totally SUCKS, forgive me. I was a little stuck. Eh hehe…!  
Sorry if I'm hyper today, but I just got the U2 CD _The Joshua Tree_ and I've been DYING to get it so…yeah. :P  
Owari!!  
**PLEASE REVIEW!!**  
~ Ember 

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THANK YOUS!!

lunita, thistlemeg, Emily, gigi, Ruby Hime, Chibi-Chingo, Satans Little Princess, Ariana, Chocolatkiss!, Medieval Wizard -- Thanks a lot you guys! To everyone who keeps reviewing every chapter (you know who you are!!) you're the BEST! If I could, I'd glomp you, but I can't so…*sighs* I think I'm just going to do the Thank Yous like this from now on, much easier. Again, thank you guys SO much for reviewing. And hey, you ever want me to review your story, I will! Just say so. :D


	12. Emily Rose

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:: Chapter Twelve ::  
**Downfall of Love  
Emily Rose**

* * *

"She has blue eyes."  
"Yes James, I know that."  
"But I have brown eyes, and you have green eyes."  
"Very good James. Now, what color is my hair?"  
James glared at Lily over the rims of his glasses.  
"I mean why does she have blue eyes. Shouldn't they be brown or green? Or both?"  
The door to Lily's hospital room opened, and Remus and Sirius entered, Sirius caring a huge stuffed pink rabbit. He looked very pleased with himself.  
"Remy said I shouldn't get this," he placed the rabbit next to Lily's bed, "but I thought you'd like it."  
"It's adorable." Lily assured him. Sirius beamed.  
"Don't encourage him." Remus snorted, shaking his head.  
"He would have bought the whole bloody shop had I not been there."  
"SOMEONE'S PMSing. Is it that time of the month Moony?" James asked, characteristic smirk playing across his face.  
Remus made toward him, eyes flashing, but James held up the bundle in his arms.  
"I'm holding a new born, you can't hurt me."  
"JAMES HENERY POTTER!" Lily exploded angrily, "How DARE you use *our* child as a shield!"  
James winced and placed the sleeping baby back in its' mother's arms.  
"Sweet one," Lily cooed, settling her into place as she brought out a breast for her to suckle.  
Sirius and Remus turned a soft shade of red and took great interest in the bedroom's floor.  
"So, uh, what are you going to name her?" Sirius asked, trying to look anywhere but at Lily.  
"I was thinking Emily." James said, an adoring smile gracing his face as he watched mother and child.  
"We're going to name her after a flower, love, and keep with tradition."  
"And what tradition might that be?"  
"My family always names their girls after flowers."  
"Ah, right. Lily, Petunia, I should have known."  
The door opened again, and the Evanses and Mrs. Potter entered the room. Mr. Evans joined Remus and Sirius' starring at the floor.  
"That we do Lily my girl. What about Marigold?" Mrs. Evans asked.  
James pulled a face and Lily shook her head.  
"What about Emily Rose?" Remus asked.  
"Yeah!" Sirius exclaimed looking up, flushed, and then looked back down, "I think that's a good name."  
"Emily Rose Potter, sounds good." James said, nodding.

Lily was sleeping quietly in her room, James curled in the chair beside her, and Remus and Sirius were sprawled on the floor in front of Lily's bed.  
Remus' head was pillowed in Sirius' chest. A blanket floated off a near by chair and covered them, tucking neatly in around them.  
Aggie appeared with a soft 'pop' and smiled down at them.  
"Precious." She whispered.  
"I was wondering when you were going to appear."  
She looked up at Lily, who was struggling to sit up. Aggie approached her and helped.  
"Thanks."  
"Not at all."  
The cradle with the sleeping Emily Rose was placed on the other side of Lily's bed and Aggie leaned over to peer at the slumbering babe.  
"My but she is darling."  
Lily beamed.  
"Thank you."  
When Aggie didn't return her smile, Lily worried her bottom lip.  
"What's wrong?" she asked, and Aggie sighed heavily, brushing aside some stray hair from Lily's face.  
"He's coming my child."  
Lily's eyes watered.  
"Now? Surely…he can't…"  
"I have spoken with Dumbledore, and he has agreed to help me with my plan."  
James stirred in his sleep.  
"What plan?"   
"Let me take the child." Aggie said.  
"But you're a spirit!" Lily exclaimed, "How can you possibly take care of her?"  
"This world is full of magic Lily, and I have the power to become real for a period of time if the need is dire enough."  
"But-"  
"Do you want your child to be raised by an evil dark wizard?" Aggie pressed on heatedly.  
"No, no of course not."  
"Do you want her to grow up knowing who her parents are?"  
"Of course I do!"  
James let out a snort in his sleep and shifted in his chair again.  
Lily lowered her voice.  
"Of course I want Emily to know who I am."  
"Then give her to me."  
Lily searched Aggie's face, then glared at her.  
"No." she spat, and made for the wand on her bed side table.  
"You will never have my child YOU MONSTER!" she roared, pointing the wand between Aggie's eyes. The old woman's appearance flickered and faded, leaving Lord Voldemort standing in her place.  
Voldemort's face had become more mangled and twisted, instead of a human's face, a serpent like one was in its' place. His eyes, once a deep brown, where now eerily yellow.  
James, Remus, and Sirius bolted upright and awake.  
"Wha-what the hell?!?!" Sirius exclaimed.  
Remus stepped in front of him protectively, and he too glared heavily at the evil Dark Lord.  
James swept Emily up into his arms and pointed his own wand at Voldemort.  
"*chuckle* How convenient. I gain a child, and destroy the troublesome Potters for good. James, my good man, hand me that babe."  
"NO."  
"No?"  
"You can't have my daughter!" he shouted.  
Voldemort sighed heavily.  
"How did I know that there would be complications?" he asked to no one specifically, shaking his head.  
He pulled out a long, black wand, and pointed it directly back at James, an evil smile gracing his face.  
He looked pointedly at Lily.  
"Understand this my sweet, if I do not take the child to raise, I will kill them both."  
"I won't let you!" Remus cried angrily.   
Voldemort shifted his position so he could see Remus better.  
"Ah, the werewolf, the most powerful out of the lot of you. You could easily join me."  
"Never."  
"Never?"  
"NEVER!!" Remus exploded, and pushed Sirius back behind him when he made to pull him back, "You have caused us ALL too much pain! We've all been through hell because YOU feel the need to tare us apart!"  
"Simply the instinct to survive I assure you." Voldemort cackled. He turned back to James.  
"Give me the child." He repeated.  
"I'll die before I hand Emily over to you!"  
"Very well. As you so wish."  
He raised his arm and shouted _Avada Kedavra!_, sending a flash of green light hurtling toward James and Emily.  
It stopped a foot before it hit them, the light exploding in a flash of bright, pink light. Voldemort whirled around angrily, and came face to face with the real Aggie.  
"Grandmother." He said mockingly.  
Aggie glared at him.  
"You lost the right to call me that a long time ago Thomas. Understand this," she said, "you will never have that child. Nor any other Potter child that happens along."  
"You will protect them then?" he sneered.  
"Me, and every other good wizard in this world."  
James, Remus, and Sirius stared at the old woman in disbelief, and watched as Lily climbed out of her bed and wearily crossed the room toward her. She stood erect beside her, eyes hardening as she stared into Voldemort's yellow eyes.  
Aggie took her wand hand, and pointed it at Voldemort's chest.  
"MONERE!" the shouted together.  
Voldemort let out a blood-curtailing scream, grabbed at his face, and sank to floor. He looked up at Aggie.  
"I hate you." He seethed, and disappeared in a puff of yellow smoke.  
Lily sank wearily to the floor, and Aggie knelt next to her as she gasped for breath.  
"You did splendidly my child."   
"LILY!" the three Marauders exclaimed at the same time, and came toward her in a rush. Sirius stepped through Aggie, and he almost fainted in disbelief.  
Aggie chuckled.  
"Perhaps my child, you should explain to them about myself."  
"Right. Guys, this is Aggie. She's my Amici."  
"When did you get one of those?!?!"  
"Shut UP Sirius."  
"Right, shutting up."  
Aggie beamed at them all.  
"I am here to help you all, but mostly to protect that child. Lily, what Voldemort said about my plan, that is true."  
"You're taking her? But how will you care for her?" James asked suddenly, clutching Emily close.  
"I have other resources. Dumbledore wants me to collect her and-"  
"Hang on!" Sirius interrupted, "How do we know that you're the REAL Aggie? Or whatever your name is."  
"How do you know? Why…you stepped threw me my boy, you should find that evidence enough."  
"Right."  
"I understand all your fears about my not being true, but I reassure you all that I'm the real me. I promise."  
Silence passed around them.  
"James," Lily said softly, "give Emily to her."  
"What?"  
"Give her Emily. It's the only way."  
"But-"  
"Just do it! It's hard enough thinking about it, don't make me say it again!"  
"But we can protect her!"  
"No we can't! If Aggie hadn't appeared, we would have DIED, she would have been taken! This is best, just…just do it."  
James, looking as though the world was falling in around him, placed Emily in Aggie's transparent arms.   
"I will protect her." Aggie promised as she started to fade out.  
"Wait!" Lily cried, getting to her feet, "Her name…her name is Emily Rose."  
Aggie nodded her head.  
"I understand."  
And then she disappeared, leaving Remus and Sirius to comfort their heartbroken friends.

* * *

W0000t!! Done with that chapter. Wasn't that fun?? Certainly hope so! I'm really proud of myself, because usually I stop writing chapter fics after the third chapter, and here I am, TWELVETH chapter up!!   
:D  
I'm just about done with this fic, and am already in the process of planning the sequel. I'm planning on writing three fics called the 'Downfall Trilogy'. I know, sounds stupid, but I rather like the ideas for the next two stories.  
I probably shouldn't be telling you this, because odds are I'll never finish writing them, but it does give me something to work on when I'm bored.  
Welpers, I've got to book!!  
Owari,  
~ Ember

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Thankies!!  
Thistlemeg, Satans Little Princess, lunita, Ariana, gigi, ember - Ohh! Such nice reviews this time!! I was so afraid the last chapter sucked (.;) but now I feel better knowing you guys liked it!! I worked pretty hard on this one, so I hope it's just as good. I think a bit of this is confusing, but…if makes sense for the most part right? Thanks again to all you guys who keep reviewing again and again, I think that's what has gotten me as far as I have. *huggles*

  
  



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Harry Potter, Romance