Warcraft Mistletoe

**Cool, third one-shot of the night. Er, morning.**

**I was thinking about Warcraft (Offline version) and this popped into my head.**

**Title: Mistletoe  
Summary: Thrall and Vol'jin discover the wonder of a human Christmas tradition - Mistletoe.  
Word Count: 1,518  
Rating: K Plus  
Genre: Humor  
Pairings: Minor Thrall/Jaina at the end. Very minor. Like, only the last sentence minor.**

--

Thrall looked around in curiosity. The humans were celebrating some holiday that Jaina called 'Christmas'. He wasn't quite sure what was worth celebrating in the dead of winter with snow past his ankles, but humans never did make much sense.

"Wat be da point of dis holiday, mon?" Vol'jin asked.

"I don't know, but Jaina went through all of the trouble to bring us here, so we might as well try and enjoy it."

'If dis be such a special time, I can't imagine da humans -besides Jaina- enjoying us trolls and joo orcs bein' here."

"Actually, Jaina said that, if anything, the humans here are usually more tolerant on Christmas."

"Why?"

He shrugged. "I don't know. But I'll take any opportunity to make peace with Jaina's humans." He didn't much care for any other humans, but he liked Jaina, and her forces _had_ sided with them to fight the Legion, albeit reluctantly.

Vol'jin looked at a small group of trolls standing not fifteen feet away from an equally small group of humans. Both groups shot the other occasional curious glances, but neither made any attempts to actually _talk_ to each other. "Well, if dey be ignorin' each other da whole time, I don't t'ink joo're goin' to be makin' much progress."

Thrall sighed at the sight, but didn't try to do anything about it. Not that he _could_ do anything about it. Apparently, him being the warchief made most of the humans even more uncomfortable around him than the common soldiers.

"Wat's wit' da trees?" Vol'jin asked abruptly. "Why would dey be puttin' those sparkly t'ings on dem? And why do dey hang up those little plants in da doorways? And-"

"I don't know, Vol'jin." Thrall interrupted with exaggerated patience. "We were in the same room when Jaina explained Christmas. I know as much as you do."

"I don' be makin' sense."

"When have the humans ever made sense?"

"Never, mon."

"Um, warchief Thrall? Sir?"

Thrall turned around. A small woman that didn't even come up to his chest stood there, watching him uncertainly. "Yes?"

"Lady Proudmoore h-has." The woman winced at her stutter, stubbornly setting her jaw. "Has requested you're presence."

"Wat Jaina be wantin'?" Vol'jin asked.

"I do not pry in the Lady's business." She put a slight emphasis on 'Lady'. Vol'jin just grinned.

"All right." Thrall nodded. "Where is Ja- Er, _Lady_ Jaina?"

"This way." She turned around, walking off, obviously expecting them to follow.

--

"Thrall." Jaina greeted him warmly when he entered her study. "I'm sorry I haven't had a chance to talk to you since yesterday. Things have been busy with Christmas so close."

"I still don' understand dis 'Christmas' of joors. But, joo be humans be so odd, I don' believe I'll ever come close to understandin' joo."

"Probably not." Jaina agreed with a grin. Her grin got wider when she noticed that they both were standing beside each other, in the doorway. Under a certain little plant that would make the next few minutes very interesting. "Speaking of odd human customs, you might want to get out from under the mistletoe before someone comes along that will try to enforce it."

Looking up at the plant, Vol'jin asked. "Enforce wat?"

"What you have to do when you get caught under the mistletoe with another person."

Getting a bad feeling about the way Jaina was grinning, Thrall slowly asked. "What do you have to do?"

Her grin getting even wider, she answered. "Why, you have to kiss, or course."

Looking at each other in horror, Thrall and Vol'jin stood there for several long seconds, abruptly scrambling to get out of the doorway. Jaina laughed as they nearly tripped over each other in their haste. Thrall glared at her. "You saw nothing."

"Of course not." She managed between chuckles.

"What did you want, anyway?"

She blinked. "Right, I did ask you guys to come up here, didn't I?" She idly leaned against her staff. "How are your men? Any of them interacting with my men?"

Vol'jin shook his head. "Not dat I've seen."

Jaina sighed. "I was afraid of that. I'm betting you that the Christmas party will be the turning point. Whether that turning point is drunken brawls, or actual communication..." She trailed off, frowning. "Walk with me." She pushed passed them into the hallway.

"Wat be dis 'Christmas' party joo be talkin' 'bout?"

Jaina shrugged. "It's just a typical party. Rum, singing, dancing, and other such things."

Thrall shook his head. "You humans... I still don't understand what there is to celebrate in the dead of winter, when it's cold enough to freeze your ba- er, really, really cold."

They walked out of the building into the gardens. Well, it used to be the gardens. Currently, a thick blanket of snow was covering all of the plants. "It's not that bad." Jaina said. "You should see it up in Stormwind. They've been known to get snow up to their knees."

Thrall shuddered at the thought.

"Lady Proudmoore." The woman from earlier walked up to them.

"Kiera." Jaina greeted. "What is it?"

"One of the party planners wants your opinion on the decorations."

"Tell her that I'm sure it's fine."

Kiera shook her head. "She's very insistent that she wants you to actually see them."

Jaina rolled her eyes. "All right." She turned toward the men. "Thrall? Vol'jin? You guys coming?"

Before either could answer, Kiera looked at something above them. "Hey, look. There's mistletoe."

Slowly looking up, the two saw that a little sprig of mistletoe was indeed hanging from a nearby tree branch. _Oh, no..._ Thrall thought, horror coursing through him.

"You do know what that means, don't you?" Kiera asked.

Eye twitching, Thrall nodded.

After a moment, when it was clear that all they were going to do was stand there with horrified expressions, Kiera said, "Well?"

"Do we have to?"

She nodded vigorously. "Oh, yes. It a tradition over a century old. Not even our most hardened soldiers go against it."

Jaina snorted. "You ever wonder why our most hardened warrior spend most their time far, far away from doors during Christmas?" She muttered, barely heard.

"But..." He stopped, unable to think of anything. Jaina didn't seem to care, but Kiera had a look on her face that said they weren't going to be able to get out of it as easily as they did earlier.

"Thrall." Vol'jin said, slapping a hand on his shoulder. _He's not going to actually try to do it, is he? _Thrall thought, the two women watching them intently. Vol'jin opened his mouth... _Oh, lord, he is!_ ...And ran away as fast he could. Thrall watched his retreating friend, relief making him sag against the tree trunk.

"B-but-" Kiera sputtered. "He- and you- you guys didn't- it's against tradition!" She finally managed to get out, watching the small dot in the distance that was Vol'jin.

Thrall's subconscious was practically hitting his conscious mind with a brick, telling him to _run like hell, before she can get Vol'jin back here!_

Kiera turned to where Thrall had been standing, surprised to see an empty stretch of snow. "Lady Proudmoore, we have to-" She turned back around. "Lady Proudmoore?" She asked the air, Jaina no longer in sight.

--

Thrall jumped in surprised when Jaina suddenly appeared in front of him. _Damn teleportation..._ "I don't care how old that tradition is," He started. "I'm not going back there."

Jaina laughed. "If you manage to avoid Kiera for the rest of the day, she'll probably have forgotten it by tomorrow."

Vol'jin entered the room, slamming the door behind him, leaning heavily against it. "Is there another way ta get outta here?" He asked.

"Why?"

"Kiera spotted me."

Thrall blinked. "If there isn't, I'm jumping out the window."

Jaina chuckled. "Back door is over there." The two men were gone before she could finish the sentence.

--

_Next day._

--

Thrall sighed in relief when Kiera passed them without a second glance. "Congratulations, my friend, it seems she has finally forgotten. No more mistletoe trouble."

"Ha!" Vol'jin said. "I wish. Ever since the women have found out about that ridiculous tradition, they've been trying to catch me under it. Even some of my men have!"

"I... can see where you might have an issue with the men, but what's wrong with the women?"

Vol'jin grabbed his arms and started shaking his friend. "'Cause they're stalking me! They're comin' at me from all direction, hauling mistletoe, mon! I swear I've been caught under it wit' every woman at least once, some maybe even twice." He started shaking harder. "I'm not a machine, mon!"

"Vol'jin." A troll woman called, coming toward them. Vol'jin let go of Thrall, shrieked, and ran away. The woman blinked. "Wat's wit' him?"

"Mistletoe phobia."

"Mistletoe?" He explained the tradition to her. She looked up thoughtfully. "I wonder if I can get Vol'jin with some mistletoe..." With that, she walked off.

Thrall shook his head with a grin. Considerably happier, he walked off, planning ways to catch Jaina under the... odd plant.

--

**I've only played Warcraft III and that was a while ago, so don't come after me wielding torches and pitchforks if I have any information relevant to the game wrong. ;P**


End file.

Warcraft, Humor