Star Wars 1. Relations

A/N: Basically Mara's story told from different perspectives of those around her. Includes Mara/Palpatine pretty explicitly. You've been warned. This stemmed out of a comment made by Isard in By The Emperor's Hand about her and Mara both serving the Emperor equally or something similar. Given how it's clearly stated Isard and Palpatine were lovers, it seemed to be inferred Mara and Palpatine had more then just a working relationship. There's very little material at all which goes into Mara's time with the Empire very deeply. I wanted to try go into it more. This is written from different characters perspectives and bounces between a few years before A New Hope and 20 years after on Luke and Mara's wedding night. It's my goal to keep this as canon as possible, so I'm drawing a fair bit on the prequels for Palpatine's speech and mannerisms, which I imagine even as a Sith lord would still carry a bit.

**Chapter 1: Relations**

**20 ABY**

**Luke Skywalker**

"You know we really should actually… get to know each other. I think we did this a bit backward. We're married but in some ways we hardly know each other." I note to my wife who is sprawled sleepily on the bed. She throws a pillow at me in response.

"For sith's sake Skyw- Luke… it's early. We had a late night. Why must you wake up so kriffing early? And be philosophical at that?" she grumbles. A morning person Mara definitely is not.

"I'm not saying you have to get out of bed… just talk." I try reasoning with her.

"Fine, fine whatever. Ask away." she sighs "You aren't going to shut up about it and let me sleep til this is out of your system so lets get it over with."

"Ok… how about firsts?" I ask. Eyeing me sharply she responds.

"Little more specific there? First mission, first kill, first what?" she snaps at me. She's clearly not thrilled over the idea of discussing her past. I really don't know much about it beyond the Emperor trained her. I know she's let on some of that training was pretty brutal… the maker knows I saw the scars from some of that last night, but I get the sense beyond painful memories she'd holding something back.

"Those sound like a good starting place."

"Starting place to what? Nevermind. Whatever. First mission I was probably 8 or 9. My job was to spy on some corrupt politician, find out if he was embezzling funds."

"Was he?" I ask, trying to keep her opening up.

"Yes, and answer to question two… he was my first kill. My orders were to find out why he'd been acting so suspicious. If those reasons were treasonous in origin, I was to terminate him. So I did. End of story. Are we done yet?" she snapped, glaring daggers at me. It's a good thing she no longer wants to kill me… at least I think she doesn't.

"Is there anything you want to ask me?" I ask, and she raises an amused eyebrow at me. I know exactly what she's going to ask before she even says it

"Why yes my dear husband… are you always this chatty in the morning? Because if so I might have to resort to drugging that awful stew you seem so fond of so I can get a sound nights sleep. I'm pretty sure you know I could. Not enough to kill you… just enough to knock you out for ohhh a standard day or two" she says to me, and I can feel her laughter through our force bond.

"Yes dear, I know you could knock me out if you wanted… but I'd be far less fun that way now wouldn't I?" I tease her lightly. "Hmm… on that note, who was your first?"

"Again specifics?" she challenges laughing.

"You know what I mean Mara…" She goes quite with that. When I try reach across our bond a wall slams up. "Mara?" I ask a little alarmed at her sudden mood shift and guardedness. Turning away from me she mumbles into the pillows.

"Ask another question."

"Why are you being so defensive? How horrible can it be?" I press her "It's not like you were boinking Palpatine or anything." Her posture goes rigid and a mix of rage and hurt flies across our bond before she slams her shields up blocking me entirely. Sith… I really rammed my foot in my mouth there. She's curled herself into a ball, her face in the pillow and back turned to me. Though she tries to hide it I can tell she's crying. "I'm sorry Mara that must of been-"

_"Awful? Horrid? It wasn't Skywalker. You'd be wise to shut up now about what you don't understand." _she snapped across are bond. She was right, I really should shut up about it, but I was too stunned to listen to that logical part of my brain. Surely there was no was she could of… being raised by him and her life dedicated to him she'd of felt a bond but… to enjoy being with him… in that way? "Yes, I could and I did. I loved him. How else do you think we were able to communicate so well?" Mara answered his unspoken question, her voice muffled slightly by the pillow her face was still pressed into. Unable to stop myself from ramming the other foot in now I blurted out

"But he's so.. old! I mean his face and… I don't think I want that mental image…" Feeling her brewing rage I knew I was in trouble. Her tone was ice cold when she regained enough calm back not to grab her hold out blaster off the night stand and just shoot me with it as I'd seen her consider through our bond.

"Maybe you shouldn't ask questions you don't want the answers to Skywalker. I knew you couldn't handle it… be mature about this. It's why I didn't want to tell you. You wanted to know, now you do. Are we done?" Cautiously laying down beside her, I reached across our bond as I spoke so she could feel I meant what I said.

"I'm sorry Mara, I'm being a jerk. You're right. I don't understand. I'm so new at this. I've never really been with, well anyone… too busy being the great Jedi Master and hero of the Rebellion. The only other woman I've really been truly close to is Leia before we understood our bond"

"Uh do I want to hear this?" She asked, cooling down a little "Because it is starting to sound a lot worse then _boinking Palpatine_ as you so delicately put it"

"Oh no no! Nothing like that!" I hastened to reassure her. "We kissed once was all. She did it to make Han jealous."

"And you question _my_ judgement?" she asked, raising a brow at me. Ok, touché, I deserved that one.

"Will you tell me about it? Not details please! But about your relationship to Palpatine. I assumed with the scars I know you said were from training it was all bad, but it clearly wasn't. I want to understand. Please Mara?" I could sense she was debating not answering, but finally signed and said

"Fine… lets start from the beginning. It was several years before Yavin…"

**5 BBY**

**Palpatine**

She would never say who put her up to it, but I had a good guess. They probably regretted it to given the outcome. Served them right for playing their petty games, insecure in their role as they were. Still, I'd forgive their meddling as I'd learned some interesting things as a result. It also expanded on the number of… skills Mara Jade could employ. Still it had all been rather unexpected.

_Earlier that night…_

"Master?" Mara asked, bowed respectfully, trying to sound so sure of herself, but a slight hint of anxiety coloured her voice. Motioning her to rise and approach the throne I waited for her to speak. Hesitantly she proceeded. "I was told I'm not doing all I can to please you… how is it I can please you my Master?" A bit caught off guard, I studied her for a moment. How old was she anyways? In years not very old at all… but then she'd never had a normal childhood, and was wise well beyond her years as a result.

"Do you know what you ask?" I questioned her. She flushed slightly under my gaze and bowed her head.

"I have… some idea. I hear the dancers talk." she answered softly.

"I see." I said plainly. "You've never… been with a man before have you?" She shook her head no. "But you wish to be with me?" to this she nodded.

"Yes my master… if it pleases you." she said nervously, worried she'd said something wrong no doubt. She had shifted back into a bow, her head rested against my knee. I stroked her head while I considered how to respond. Caressing her face I tilted her chin up to look at me, trying to gage if she was truly ready for this. I sensed something big was coming soon and it would not do to have her in a shell shocked state. Her ability to be my eyes and my will where neither I or Vader could go was key. If she was ready however, pushing her away would leave her hurt and sulking no doubt. Her bright eyes had a determined look however, and I knew she would see this through. Dropping my hand to her shoulder and down her arm I took her hand and rose, pulling her up with me.

"Come." I told her, guiding her back into my private chambers. Leading her to a couch I gathered two glasses and some sweet wine. Pouring it into the glasses I offered one to her, which she accepted graciously. Sitting close to her, we each sipped the wine in silence, helping steady both our nerves. Her pose was still slightly rigid, torn between her training to always remain the upmost formality with me, and the knowledge of the intimacy she asked and the sheer… informality that required. "Relax" I told her "Here in this room we are not master and servant. We are two beings seeking companionship. You are free to do what pleases you" Catching the general direction of her thoughts I wrapped an arm around her as she leaned into me. Seemingly overcoming the last of her nerves she tilted her head up and I met the kiss. Laying back I pulled her down so her lithe form lay over mine caressing her back as our kiss deepened. As things became more heated I sat up, gently pushing her back a little.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked "I'm sor-" I put a finger to her lips and shook my head.

"No, I merely wish to move us to a more comfortable location." Guiding her towards the bedroom I felt a twinge of nerves rise up in her again "You can still change your mind my dear. Its not too late." I offered, granting her an escape if she wished it, was having second thoughts… but she shook her head firmly no as we crossed the final threshold.

"I want this. I want to be everything to you I can be." she answered, clear and maturely. Dispensing with my outer robes I lay her back on the bed, unfastening and sliding off her sheer dancers top as we went down. My human side felt a moment of lack of confidence as she worked my inner robes free. I'd never been a great looking man, and the years and heavy dark side use had not treated me kindly. The Sith in me sneered at those weak human emotions, but it didn't seem to matter. Mara had noticed my hesitation and had taken the lead. As our bodies joined and entwined she reached out in the force to me. As I opened my force sense to her something shifted in both of us. I could feel her pain merging into pleasure, and her voice crystal clear in my mind questioning "_Is this normal… I can hear you… feel you… without effort._"

"I don't know" I answered her through our linked minds "_I've never, ah been intimate with another force user. Jedi were rather strict in their forbidding attachment. Perhaps this is why_." The bond deepened as or physical connection intensified and coherent conversation, even through the force, became impossible. Less shielded then me, Mara's thoughts and emotions flowed into me at a dizzying pace. I saw in that though her motives for seeking me out were indeed as pure as she'd said. Unlike Yssane or Roganda or any other woman, she had no agenda. She had no disgust towards me the way others had. Love and loyalty shone through clearly, and for the moment I shoved the Sith in me to the back of my mind as he protested that that was the light side. When it was over we were both breathless… and still clearly connected through the force. As she recovered she too shielded, the intense bond overwhelming her as well… but she kept a small connection open, and through it we could speak clearer then I'd ever experienced before. Strange… unexpected… but it could certainly prove useful. Recovering her voice she asked me softly

"May I stay here tonight? With you?" I nodded an affirmative, pulling her towards me, so she lay in my arms.

"Nothing would please me more, my dear." I told her "I may not be here in the morning as my duties as the Emperor call, but you are welcome here whenever it pleases you." with that assurance she went to sleep peacefully, and I watched her sleep for a little while before giving into sleep myself.

**20 ABY**

**Mara Jade Skywalker**

Luke's still looking at me funny. I suppose it's fair he never really knew the Emperor. He's struggling to accept the idea that the man he hates so had good in him. I know he's reflecting on Vader now, and trying to reconcile that if Vader had good in him maybe I'm right the Emperor did too. Of course I'm right… but I know him. Luke needs to reach that view on his own. Finally apparently recovering his voice from the wide eyed look he'd been giving me since I started my story he spoke "So, that was how it happened? You went to him? No if you'll pardon the pun, force required?"

"That's how it happened. I think Isard had hoped she'd make a fool out of me, not push me closer to Palpatine, the one person she wanted me away from… but from there our relationship continued. Given our positions of course there was an understanding it was in no way exclusive. He saw other women and when the need arose I would seduce other men to get information, get them off their guard, whatever. Our relationship was unique though. Our bond allowing us to speak freely and secretly through the force." I told him. Pondering that for a minute he spoke.

"You know I had wondered if you could teach the students at the academy about speaking clearer through the force… but if it requires a near death experience like we faced or… a lot of intimacy… I don't think we'll put that on the curriculum." He stated reasonably. I laughed at the idea.

"I'm sure some of your teen students would _love_ the idea… " I laughed shaking my head at the mental image. "You'd sure increase enrolment though!" Luke was laughing with me, the tension between us gone for the moment. It was still definitely an adjustment. I was married… _married_ to Luke Skywalker. The man I'd spent years wanting to kill. I'd never been an open person… too many years of training not to be. I wanted to learn to be more like Luke who was so free and unguarded with his emotions. In a military situation he was all business… but as soon as that was over, he bounced right back into being the silly farm boy he was. I was still learning to let my guard down and let him in more, not hold my thoughts and emotions back… but it was still an adjustment. Apparently catching the tone of my thoughts, I felt his warmth flowing through the force, reassuring me he loved me and nothing would change that. Just to reinforce that he pulled me into his arms and kissed me deeply.

"_I love you Mara Jade Skywalker… this is a change, but it's a change for good_" he sent across our bond. I flushed and bowed my head still uncomfortable with all this emotion. "It's just us Mara. You don't need to hide or be ashamed or embarrassed to express yourself."

"I know Luke… but this is me. I need time to adapt. I spent years with trainers beating me if I betrayed the slightest emotion, unless it was an acted one to suit a mission. Outside those moments with Palpatine, I wasn't allowed to feel." He strokes my hair in a comforting motion and I curl into him.

"What was it like?"

"Hmm?"

"Your training I mean?" he askes.

"Brutal." I mutter into his shoulder. "You've seen the scars."

"How old were you when they started?"

"I don't know how old I am now Luke." I sighed "Probably 5 when they started my training. Physical endurance, combat training with weapons and hand to hand, education, politics, court etiquette, dance… and I was beat and tortured for every mistake. If I cried they would just beat me harder til I shut up. They used whatever was handy to punish me. Whips, belts, blaster bolts, blades, locking me in a dark room, stripping and humiliating me, starvation… whatever they needed to break me entirely. I don't really like to think about it." I grumbled, not sure why he felt the need to drag up every painful memory I had kept buried. This wasn't really how I wanted to spend my honeymoon.

"I'm sorry Mara" he said softly into my hair. "I am not trying to upset you… I just wish I could understand you and your past. I know about you since the end of the Empire, but I know nothing about your time in the Empire other then you miss it… something I struggle to see the reasons in since it seems you suffered so much there." Ok, it was a fair enough question.

"My training was hard and cruel yes.. but I also experienced great joy and pleasure. One of the Emperor's favourite pastimes was going to the opera. I often went with him. Sometimes to spy, other times just to enjoy. They put on some truly spectacular shows back then, and it was pure joy to watch." Fingering the necklace around my neck I recalled the night it had been given to me…

**3 BBY**

**Mara Jade**

A few minutes before the opera was to begin Palpatine pulled an ornate box out and handed it to me. Surprised I asked "What's the occasion?"

"Open it then I will explain." he answered. So I did. Inside the box was an elegant looking necklace, the central charm of which appeared to be a carved tooth of some kind. Lifting the necklace out of the box he clasped it around my neck. "It's carved from the tooth of a Corellian Sand Panther." He said noticing me fingering the charm.

"Thank you master, it's beautiful!" I said, leaning in to kiss him gently. He smiled, something he rarely did these days with the increased stress of civil wars.

"As to the occasion, today marks 14 years since I found you. I don't know your real birthday, but this seemed close enough." he said with a shrug. My past… my origins… it was something he seldom spoke of. Since he seemed to be open to discussing it now, I asked the question that had long been burning in me.

"Where am I from master?"

"I can't say for sure. I found you on a vacation moon of Coruscant, so I suspect your family was vacationing there before the disaster."

"Disaster?"

"They had an idea to bring in more tourists with a zoo of the galaxy's most dangerous creatures. It was a foolish idea. The enclosures were not secured properly. A single power short and it was slaughter of everyone. You'd managed to hide yourself in a tube, though a Sand Panther… one of the last creatures to be destroyed was trying to fish you out when I arrived to survey the damage. The tooth is from that very panther. I had it carved for you, knowing someday, when you were ready I would tell you. It's the one tangible piece of your past I can give you." tears welled in my eyes and I embraced him. Wiping my tears away, he guided me back down to my seat as the house lights dimmed and the curtains rose. My hand remained entwined in his for the duration of the show however. A silent statement of love and comfort.

**20 ABY**

**Luke Skywalker**

I'm a little discomforted she still wears that necklace knowing it's origins now. Mara knows this. I'm not good at masking my feelings from her. She's looking at me, daring me to say something about it. Actually I'm less discomforted that she keeps something from her time in the Empire which links to her past… assuming Palpatine was remotely truthful about that… then I am knowing the extent of their relationship and that it was given as a gift from a lover. I know I'm playing with fire, but I have to ask "Mara, do you wish you were still with him?" She considers it. Sith. I'd been hoping for an outright no to reassure me.

"Yes and no. Do I miss him? Of course. He was my first love, my world for years. No matter what else he has done, it doesn't change how I feel. I suppose it's somewhat how you see Vader."

"Please don't say that… I definitely don't see Vader _that_ way!" I cut her off, cringing at the mental image. She throws a pillow at me.

"Not like that perv. I mean… even knowing all the bad he's done, a part of you forgives and loves him. Not everything is about sex you know." she shakes her head at me. Ok, I probably deserved that… but is she right? Vader turned to the light side before he died.. but did that erase decades of cold blooded kills? Were Mara and myself any better in that regard? We'd both killed countless sentients believing what we were doing was the right thing. Killing was killing though wasn't it? Perhaps the world wasn't so black and white as I'd like it to be. She gives me a minute to digest that before continuing. "But also no. I no longer long how tightly controlled I was under him… well that and you know at his age he really couldn't last that long." she grins mischievously at me.

"Mara!" I blurt out, totally caught off guard by that statement.

"What?" she laughs "You asked for the truth, and I gave it to you… besides, it's a compliment. I enjoy your youthful stamina over his… experience."

"Well that's good I suppose." massaging my temples with my hands I try erase that mental image. "I'm not even going to ask what you mean by experience. I really, _really_ don't want to know."

"Does that mean you'll shut up and kiss me and stop asking questions?" she asks playfully. Catching her mood and definitely eager to replace the mental images with some new ones, I roll her onto her back and kiss her deeply.

"For now since you are offering ah" I break off as her skilled hands start finding all my most sensitive spots "suitable distractions!" I manage to finish with a squeak.

"Mmm then how about actually shutting up for a bit and focusing on the ah… task at hand." she laughs between kisses.


	2. Training

**Chapter 2: Training**

**18 BBY**

**Emperor Palpatine**

A tiny wisp of a child stands shaking before me. Her bright green eyes wide and tear stained. She doesn't dare speak. She's still in shock from watching her parents die no doubt. She should of died too. Force knew how the little brat of the Jedi had survived the massacre he'd unleashed. I'd lured the Jedi who'd survived Order 66 to one of Couruscant's moons. The Order had been destroyed easy enough… but the Corellian Jedi and others outside the order had gone to ground with their families. I'd used their children against them, sending out ads for a grand new vacation park. Stressed by war, the children had begged… and parents caved. I'd gone to gleefully enjoy the carnage after I'd shut the electric enclosures down, when I felt a presence in the force. Small, unfocused, but strong. I found her hiding in a refuse drain. She was soaking wet, filthy and banged up… but she has never stopped fighting, crouched in the tunnel, beating the Sand Panther who was attempting to make a snack out of her with a stick. She certainly had spunk. Killing the panther, I'd pulled her from the tunnel, and she'd clung to me as if I were life itself. Trying to figure out what to do with her I'd told the guards to clean her up and bring her to my throne room. Which was why she now shook shaking before me. "What is your name child?" She opens and closes her mouth a few times before stammering out an answer.

"It's M-Mara Sire…" She is shaking like a leaf, but there is fight in her still. And power… what power she has. If I can sway her… use her for my cause… she'd be a powerful ally. She's young enough it might just work. Turning on the charm I beckon her forward.

"Come my dear Mara. Please don't be so scared. I know you've had a terrible fright, but you are safe now. I will care for you. I will even train you in the Force. Do you know what that is Mara?" She nods then starts to cry again.

"My.. my…. family were… Jedi" she sniffs miserably.

"Mara do you want to forget today?" she considers it for a moment.

"Can you do that? Make me forget bad things?" she asks.

"I can my child. Come, let me show you." Placing a hand on her forehead I rip the memories from her mind. Her eyes go wide in terror for a moment as she feels the Dark Side flowing through her mind, striping it bare. Then she collapses. I tell the guards to take her to a room… where she will begin her new life, with me as her saviour.

**12 BBY**

**Mara Jade**

I'm sore and tired from dance lessons, but my combat instructor doesn't let up for a moment. I force the pain down, force the hunger from being sent to bed with no food the night before for my mistakes in formal dining lessons, force down everything but my will to make my master proud. I stand my ground against a pair of Royal Guards, never backing down. A presence touches my mind for a second- Vader has come to watch. In that split second… one second of distraction and I feel myself flying backward through the air into a hard stone pillar as one of the guards blows connects. Coughing blood I struggle to get up, bite back my tears. Tears will only earn punishment later. I couldn't show any weakness. My ribs are definitely broken… my head is spinning too. I can't stop fighting. As I feel someone scoop me up I lash out… and connect with hard metal, busting my fist. Well that's just great. I hear the snap hiss of a respirator and know it's Vader who now holds me. I know his reputation. I expect my punishment for failing will be swift and severe… but it doesn't come. I feel anger from him… but not towards me. To the guard who hit me. I sense… almost a fatherly concern. Wait what? Vader? Fatherly? I start to laugh and then choke on blood. Even though he wears a mask I can see he's looking at me perplexed. He decides not to question my strange little outburst. Instead he carries me to the med ward, and barks orders for them to treat me. It's the last thing I remember before blacking out.

Coming to sometime later I sense my Master nearby. Vader is here too. Their voices are heated but low. Reaching out in the force I listen to their words.

"You are too hard on her, my Master. She is just a child."

"It is better if she learns these lessons now. She will heal."

"This time… because I intervened."

"Perhaps. You discredit the girl though. She is strong."

Pride flows through me at my Master's words. He must have sensed it because he came to stand by the bed I lay in, my ribs now bound and bacta covering the cuts from where I'd smashed my head into that cursed pillar. Stroking my hair he smiles at me "You're awake so soon. Such a tough child you are. You do me proud." I beam at his praise but feel a moment of hesitation. I'm here because I messed up. I got distracted.

"I still failed today." I state hanging my head shamefully.

"So you did… but you learned an important lesson today, did you not?" he asks. I nod weakly. "Good. then your failure is not complete." I can sense Vader's tightly controlled rage. Since when did he become so concerned about me. I can tell he wants desperately to say something… my Master can too. I see it in his face. Vader holds his tongue though. "Rest now my child. You have much more training to complete. You _do_ still want to help me, right my dear?"

"Yes my Master with all my heart!" I answer fervently.

"Then I shall leave you to rest and heal so your training can continue." As I drift off to sleep I promise myself I will not fail, will not hesitate again.

**11 BBY**

**Darth Vader**

It's unbecoming of a Sith. I know this. I can't help it feel protective of this child though. She's the same age almost my own child would be… if I had not killed their mother in a moment of rage. She doesn't see how my Master manipulates her. She's so innocent… so loyal. The former is being stripped from her right, left and centre though. Each day she is broken and build up. She won't cry anymore. What is she? 7 or 8 years old? Each day she becomes more deadly. Her emotions squashed down for fear of rebuke. I can't say too much though. She is my Master's pet project. Any attempt to encourage mercy on her to my Master just leads to her being hurt more. So I stand on the sidelines and watch, ready to step in if she needs it. She needs it less and less. Physically anyways. Emotionally she struggles… but she never lets it show. In spite of everything… I feel a conscience in her. I wonder how she will react when she is told to kill in cold blood. I know my Master plans to ask her to do so soon. A part of me hopes she will refuse… but I doubt it. She is far too loyal. Loyal and broken. I watch as she is whipped til her back is bloody for some slight offence. She doesn't protest or cry. She bites her lip hard and blames herself. No, she would do anything for her beloved Master, desperate for the few praises he gave her… the only thing in her life that wasn't pain. It was all a lie of course. All her pain caused by the orders of the man she so loved.

"Lord Vader" an officer nervously calls out to me. I consider strangling him on sight, but instead look pointedly in his direction. "Um, ah, you are requested by his Highness the Emperor." Glancing back over at Jade she's moving stiffly, trying to hide her pain as her rough tunic rubs her bleeding skin raw. I consider going to her, but I think the better of it. No good can come from intervening unless it is absolutely necessary. I know that now. Giving a slight nod to the nervous man, I turn and march toward the Emperor's throne room. Bowing before my Master I wonder why I was summonsed.

"You've grown quite attached to the child haven't you?" he asks. Ah, of course.

"She is the same age…" I start, and Palpatine knowingly cuts me off.

"The same age your child would of been if you hadn't killed them." I don't respond. I wonder just how much of my thoughts towards the girl he has been reading. Sensing my thoughts he nods "Enough to know you are far too close to her. Close enough to entertain treasonous thoughts." I curse inwardly, but keep my outward stance and force sense calm. So the old bastard knows. I won't give him the satisfaction of gloating though.

"I am loyal to you, as always my Master. I have not interfered as you wished."

"That you have… for now."

**10 BBY**

**Mara Jade**

Oh god. I'm in my bed now. I can't stop shaking though. The acidic taste of vomit still lingers in my mouth from earlier. I killed a man. I know he was a bad man. My Master told me so… but his eyes. I can't stop seeing his eyes… and the blood. I'd hoped for a clean kill. I'm no monster. I knew it must be done… but I hadn't wanted him to suffer. I'd aimed right, but he saw the blaster at the last second and tried to move to defend himself. It was too late of course… both for his life and for me to re-aim my shot. Instead of going through his head, it tore open his guts. I stood there shaking as he stared at me wide eyed his mouth opening and closing… not making a sound as he slowly bled out. I had thrown up then. I ran until I reached my rooms. I washed the blood from me, and burned the clothes…. but I still feel dirty. It wasn't like with the practice droids. Quick shot, down, no mess. I knew sooner or later I would be asked to kill again. It was what I was trained for wasn't it? It was for the greater good of course. Removing corrupt people who would harm the wonderful peace my Master brought the galaxy… but stang… why did it have to be so hard. Vader never seemed to struggle like this. He'd learned to cope somehow. He enjoyed his work. I know he hates to be disturbed… but I need to talk to someone. Creeping down the halls I find my way to Vader's private quarters. Suddenly less sure of myself I knock against the durasteel door. "Lord Vader?" I call out softly. He opens the door, and a flinch a little. He's so… big and intimidating. Maybe this was a bad idea. Too late now. "May I speak with you Lord Vader?" I ask. He regards me curiously, but motions me to follow him in.

"What is it you wish to discuss youngling?" he asks, his tone cool and measured. I hesitate, then blurt everything out in a rush.

"I um.. my mission… how do you do it? Kill people and not throw up after?" I sheepishly hang my head at that last little admission. I sense a twinge of amusement from him, mixed with sadness.

"You had your first solo mission I take it?" he asks cooly, and I nod in confirmation. A moment of worry passes over me, that he will tell our Master of my weakness. Picking up on my thoughts he shakes his head. "I won't tell." he takes in the relief which floods through me, that sadness still there, lurking beneath his cool exterior. "It gets easier with time Jade. Don't think of them as cilvil beings. Just as animals to be hunted." I consider that. Of course hunting had been part of my survival training. Could it help me survive this? Time would tell.

"Thank you Lord Vader." I mutter retreating back to my room.

Time never took long here. It turned out there were many corrupt officials. I went for arrest when I could versus killing. I still took no great joy in ending a life… but it got easier with each kill. My Master's pride beaming at me when I inform him of my actions though.. it made it worth while. Perhaps someday I could come to enjoy it. At least for now I was carefully apathetic. Now I understood why I had been trained to shut off my emotions. Emotions distract you. Emotions make you second guess. So I buried all my emotion deep down til nothing remained but my will to please. Much as I disdained cold blooded murder when it could be avoided, my Master reassurance made it worth it. He was all I lived for.

**4 BBY**

**Yssane Isard**

Things had not gone as planned at all. Mara Jade was closer then ever to Palpatine. She really was becoming a pain in the ass. Much as I tried to convince my Master the girl was a threat, that we had no intel on her, he laughed. He even went as far as to tell me he fears betrayal from me- _me_ more then that rotten brat. Speak of the little mynock now. I'd planned to surprise my Master with a little morning visit, but instead of my Master I'd found Jade sprawled across his bed. She smiles sweetly up at me, "Morning Madam Director!" she greets cheerily. I'm not fooled for a moment though. She plays the part well, but I can tell there is more to Mara Jade then just another air headed dancer turned mistress. Roganda… that moron couldn't have an ambitious thought if she tried. She also knew well enough when to clear out of my turf. Jade though? Much as she hid it I could tell the girl was smart and ambitious. I only hoped for our Master's sake he was right her ambitions were aimed in the right direction. She interrupts my thoughts with an all too sugary "Were you looking for His Highness? He had to leave early. Some urgent business… but don't worry- I made sure he left happy!". She got a smug little grin on.

"Cut the crap Jade." I snap at her. Her eyes look up in feigned innocence. I'm not buying it for a second.

"Whatever do you mean Madam Director?" she asks, sweet enough to rot the teeth off a rancor.

"You knew I planned to come here this morning. How to you find out?" Finally seeing I'm not going to buy her act she gives me a feral grin.

"I have my ways." she drawls, baiting me. I ponder this. Could she have pieced it together from Court gossip? Or are the rumours she can use the force, albeit not as strongly as Lord Vader, actually true? She's watching me steadily and I wonder if she isn't reading my thoughts. This isn't going anywhere though. I need proof if I am to expose her as the vermin she is. She gives a sigh and rolls over on the bed as if to go back to sleep and I lose my cool. Grabbing the sheets I yank hard sending her sprawling to the hard floor where she lands with a slight ooph. Her calculating smile tells me this is exactly what she had hoped I would do. Shavit! I walked right into her trap. "Careful Madam Director. You wouldn't want to annoy our Master." she tells me as she stands up. I turn and leave before I can get myself in worse trouble. I have no doubt she'll tell Palpatine about that and use it to poison him against me. Oh yes, that girl had everyone convinced she was so sweet. I ground my teeth. How could one little teenage brat manage to have so much sway? Her looks are part of it. She uses her beauty and charm to work her way close to anyone she needs. She's smart to. She knows women are not respected in the Empire and she plays on that, acting like the dumb bimbo everyone expects… so no one hesitates to share their secrets. If she would just work _with_ me instead of barbing me all the time she could actually prove quite useful. She'd make a wonderful little spy… unless she already is? I consider that option. It's possible. She certainly has the wits about her to pull it off and a good knowledge of Court politics. Who is she a spy for then? Rebels, crime lords, the treasonous within our ranks? I need to broach this with my Master… but first I need proof. Accusations without proof will only turn him further against me, especially with that little bicche Jade being his new little pet… and curse it all that was my fault too. I'd sent her to him hoping to make a fool out of her with her clumsy overtures and naivety… instead though, he'd taken her under his wing and they'd been even more inseparable since. Turning towards the mess hall I decided I could use a drink… a strong drink… while I figured out the puzzle that was Mara Jade.

**20 ABY**

**Luke Skywalker**

Mara is crying softly in her sleep. I wonder what she's dreaming about. Thinking back on our conversation before bed I'm sure I know. Reaching out in the force I touch her mind and see memories of her training. Pain radiates above it all. I see Imperial officers beating her til she is bruised and bloodied. I see them soak her down and throw her in a cold storage unit. I feel her bones break… over and over again. A sense of rage and a burning desire to protect her wells up in me and I pull her close to me whispering in her ear "Mara, Mara wake up. It's ok. I'm here." Her eyes flutter open. She takes in my worried look and raises a hand to her cheek.

"I was crying?" she asks.

"You don't remember?" I ask surprised. She shakes her head. So this is how she deals. Selective amnesia. Blocking her emotions when she's awake. I now begin to see why she lets so few close to her. That anyone… especially a child… should receive and survive such treatment was a testament to her strength… but there were cracks in her armour and I wondered just how much she was really holding together and moved on and how much she had just buried. "You were dreaming… about your training." She looks at me funny for a moment then realizes I used our bond to see into her dreams. I wonder if I should have done that or if she will see it as an invasion.. the same mental invasion Palpatine used once to see her private thoughts. Shavit! Did I just mess up? All I want is to protect her. For her part she's back to being emotionless.

"Oh, that." she says flatly "Whatever, it's in the past." I know that's not true. I know it still bothers her deeply.

"Mara talk to me please? Don't shut me out. I'm sorry I invaded your mind like that. I didn't mean-" she raises a finger to my lips.

"What does it matter Skywalker?" she sighs. "It happened. I can't go back and change it any more then you can go back and save your aunt and uncle. You just have to accept it and move on."

"You can't accept it Mara if you keep suppressing your feelings about it."

"Or maybe it's the only way I _can_ cope? Consider that Skywalker?" she snaps. I go silent. Maybe she's right. Most people would be addicts, insane or dead after what she endured. I ponder that thought for a minute. I know she's not the latter two… but she certainly can hold her liquor and…

"Mara you never-" I start to say and she shakes her head catching my thought.

"A few times while I was in the Empire, undercover or if I was having a really rough time in my teens, but no, I've never seriously used spice." Well that's something of a relief. I'm not thrilled to learn she's used it at times, but I can't fault her for it either. She probably won't answer, and I won't press her for it this time, but I ask anyways.

"What do you mean a rough time? It wasn't the killing… you'd been doing that for a while. What was it?"

"Come on Luke, you really can't guess? Knowing my cover position?" she asks, looking at me sharply.

"Oh." I manage to mouth.

"Yeah real great time dancing for and sleeping with men I couldn't give two bantha turds about. My mind and soul belonged to the Emperor. My body to whoever I was told to go to." I should of known it, but I never stopped to think about it. No wonder she was so uncomfortable with intimacy. So much of it had been forced on her unwanted… but she endured it because it was her orders. "It was about the only time I took great joy in killing. Those that hurt me I took as much time as I dared. I learned to prolong their deaths. Make them painful. I enjoyed watching those sick bastards die. Feeling their life drain in my hands." I can feel rage. She is shaking with it lost in the memory. Would I feel any different in her shoes? Would I have learned to enjoy killing? She's sitting in a trance trying to calm herself. I'm relieved. I'm learning though Mara is still walking a razor's edge. It's why she's so scared to commit to being a Jedi I know now watching her. She fears the anger inside her. Wrapping my arms around her, I lend my strength to her meditation.

"You don't have to deal on your own anymore Mara, I'm here for you." I whisper in her ear. She smiles though a tear runs down her cheek.


	3. Lessons

**Chapter 3: Lessons**

**1 BBY**

**Mara Jade**

Ok, it was probably a stupid idea to come this far down into Coruscant's lower levels looking for fun with a couple of the other dancers from the Court. I was confident I could hold my own even if the dim wits with me couldn't do a thing. It was over confidence which got me into trouble. We'd picked a seedy bar, well away from the palace. I planned to get drunk and hopefully score some spice. It was a nasty habit, but some days it took the edge off. None of the other girls would question it. Hell, they'd introduced me to it after found me a miserable mess after an especially unpleasant night. I'd sought out my Master hoping for comfort there, but he had been busy so I'd sat miserably in the corner of the court room til some of the dancers had taken me out to cheer me up. They understood. At least somewhat. They'd been through it all before anyways. I'd got high for the first time that night. Being who I was though, I couldn't be seen buying spice, so I had to slink to deeper and deeper levels of Coruscant's underground to obtain it. My ID is fake of course. Not that anyone this far down cares. Got credits? That's what counts. Several men leered at us as we approached the bar, but I didn't care. Let them try. They'd quickly learn I was more trouble then I was worth. They left us alone though. So I thought anyways. Drunk and high we'd staggered out of the bar and were ambushed. I yelled at the other two girls with me to run and they did the one smart thing in their life- they ran. Four against one… not liking the odds here. I tensed ready to fight… and never saw the fifth man who hit me over the head.

I came to tied up, the men clearly intoxicated. I can feel my pocket is empty so I guess that's my supply of spice used up. Moving as quietly as I can so as not to attract attention I start working my hands free. I've almost got my restraints off when one of them looks over. "Well well, look who'd awake finally." Crap. I am in trouble and I know it. He hauls me up and kisses me roughly. It's at this moment I'm glad I'm small, and swing my still bound legs at his groin. He drops me with a curse and I go down hard. With out the element of surprise and badly outnumbered I work frantically to get the binds off my wrists now, knowing I probably only have seconds before his friends get up and come over. Not fast enough. One of them grabs me and slams me into the wall.

"Why'd you go and do that to our buddy? Gotta play niiiice little girl. Play nice out you gonna get hurt." he drawls pulling a vibroblade out and running it down my arm. My chances of escaping this alive just really went down. I pray to the force or whatever is out there to get me out of this mess. I need something… anything… to distract them long enough to slip away. Suddenly I'm crashing to the ground again as my assailant slumps to the ground. Before his friends can get up several more precision shots take them out. I hear the clank of metal armour and pray I haven't just gone from the frying pan to the fryer.

"You ok?" a familiar sounding voice asks. Boba Fett. I take a look at my injuries. The vibroblade cut is bleeding pretty badly. Defiantly some cracked ribbed from being slammed into the wall.

"I'll live… but can you help with these binders?" he nods and kneels to cut them off me. I stand shakily. Now the danger has passed all the fight has gone out of me.

"You are one hell of a lucky girl those goons were my target tonight."

"I know." He looks at me and a flash of recognition crosses his mind.

"Jade… what are you doing so far from home?" Taking in the crumpled spice packets in the room and the smell of spice and alcohol on me he grabs my uninjured arm and pulls me into the street where he has a speeder waiting. "Don't go this route Jade. Clean up while you can." I get the sense he knows about it. He's been through it. Different reasons obviously… but he's been here before. Pulling me into the speeder he takes me back to Imperial Palace. I know Fett. Both to curry favour with the Emperor for bringing me back alive and to teach me a lesson he brings me directly to Vader to take me to the Emperor for punishment. As we approach Vaders rooms Fett shoves me towards the door and holds me in place while Vader opens it. "Look what I found of yours wandering in Coruscant's lower levels." Vader glares down at me.

"Thank you Fett. You will be compensated for your trouble." with that Fett leaves, leaving me standing alone facing a seriously pissed off Lord of the Sith. Right now he doesn't care I'm hurt. He's livid I could have been so stupid.

"How long Jade?" he asks, and I am truly afraid of him for the first time.

"About a year… only when things get really bad. When I'm hurt…" His clenched fist is shaking.

"You are a stupid, stupid girl. I thought you smarter then this. Our Master will be most displeased when he learns of this."

"You're going to tell him?" I ask, horrified. Darth Vader answers me coldly.

"No, you are going to tell him." He guides me down the halls to our Master's private chambers. I hesitate at the door but he shoves me through. Palpatine looks down on me from the throne he sits on coldly. I'm shaking as a bow, the pain of my injuries forgotten for now, already feeling my master's displeasure.

"Master?" I barely squeak the word out.

"You have disappointed me greatly Jade. You have been exceedingly stupid. I expect it from the others, but I don't expect it from you." he grounds out jabbing a finger at me.

"Im sorry my Master! I- I-" tears start falling down my face. I know my punishment will be bad this time. He turns to Vader holding a large pouch of spice out.

"See she takes all of this… then detox her. No pain relief." Vader nods. "And you Jade… you are to remain in your room until further notice." My lightsaber flies from my belt into his hand "And I will decide if and when you are to work again."

As Vader and I reach my rooms I look at him. Will he obay our Masters orders? I've never used that much spice… just enough to get buzzed. I know withdrawal from a dose that big is going to be a bitch. He hands me the bag and I know it's going to be a long night. "You wished spice, now take it." he orders me. I do as I'm told. For a while my world is mercifully blank and pain free… then the drug starts to wear out. I'm shaking uncontrollably. pain radiating from every joint. It feels like my body is on fire. I vomit repeatedly. Through the whole ordeal Vader just sits and watches impassively. I don't know how long has passed before the withdrawal finally starts to wear off. I crawl miserably from the floor where I had fallen into bed. Vader steps out locking the door behind him. No more spice. Not not, not ever. I vow that much. I'm clean from now on. If my Master forgives me and lets me serve him again I will never let him down again.

**1 BBY**

**Emperor Palpatine**

I summon Mara to me. Now she has had a month to consider the stupidity of her actions she is in near desperate state to please me. I know she will not try anything so stupid again. I do apparently need to keep her closer at hand I considered, amused at my unintended joke. She is a loyal little creature, to a fault at times. She bows deeply as she enters the room. As I motion her to rise and approach the throne she's like a puppy, trying to keep her eagerness under control. I have had no contact with her at all since that night Fett brought her in and it's taking all her focus not to simply charge up to me. "I take it you have learned your lesson?" I ask her. She nods vigerously.  
"Yes my Master. I am deeply shamed I acted so foolishly. I hope I can make it up to you." Touching her mind I can see she truly is shamed. Good. My creation is nearing perfection. She will now consider the cost of any action she takes.  
"Good." I tell her. "I have need of your skills."  
"Really Master?" she asks, the excitement barely controlled. So eager she is to do whatever I ask of her… Lord Vader could learn a lot. Smiling and taking her hands in mine I nod.  
"Yes my dear. I sense traitors high in our ranks are planning to make an attack on my life"  
"They won't succeed!" she proclaims.  
"Not with you around my dear" I laugh genuinely. They expect myself or Vader to threaten their plans. They fear us. They will suspect so such threat from my beautiful Hand… not until it's too late. She is lethal as she is lovely. "I will be holding a ball for all the Moffs and Officers. I need you to come as a dancer and learn who it is who threatens me."  
"Do you wish me to terminate them?" she asks. Ah gone is the little girl who hesitated with her kills. Mara Jade may prefer mercy and arrest if the crime is minor, but there is no hesitation now. A threat to my life is a threat to everything she holds dear.  
"If the opportunity arises, yes. I would however prefer them brought out and their execution public. Such treasons require making an example of, don't you think my dear?" I ask, and she nods. "Good, prepare yourself. If you are able to hear whispers of who is behind this plot, I wish you to offer your services to them. If I see you taking someone to a private room to dance for them alone I shall know who they are and we will apprehend them." With that she bows and leaves me to prepare her dress, and weaponry no doubt. She has a great love of hiding compact blasters in the most improbable of places since her little run in on the lower levels I've noticed. Beautiful and deadly, my Mara Jade is… something these traitors will soon learn.

**1 ABY**

**Mara Jade**

I hate Moffs. I really do. All of them so treasonous and war mongering. First Trachta and Kadir with the plot to kill my Master… then Tarkin with destroying millions of innocents with the Death Star. It was meant to destroy Rebel bases, not kill innocent people. Yes, Alderaan had Rebel sympathizers… but all stupid Tarkin did is turn more people against the Empire with that stupid move. Not only that, but on his watch Leia Organa was allowed to escape… and the Rebels destroyed the Death Star in the end… with a proton torpedo. What idiot doesn't secure all internal components. Oh I'd enjoyed terminating the lives of the engineers responsible for that bit of stupidity. I also really hate Rebels. Why can't they allow us peace? It's because of Rebels I'm sitting in a bar on some back water, mid rim planet waiting for my next dance. My Master is eager to learn the name of the Rebel who destroyed the Death Star. No one would dare tell him or Lord Vader directly. However my Master believes this world to be highly Rebel sympathetic so I bide my time waiting til I hear hushed talks of the Rebellion. Mid way through my next dance- sabacc! I overhear a couple men talking.  
"Look the sooner we get those parts, the sooner we can get back to the Princess. I don't like her being alone." A wookiee barks an answer I can't understand. Ok, make that a man and a wookiee. I can see them watching me and hear the wookiee bark something to the man. "Yeah yeah, she's beautiful isn't she?" an annoyed bark "No not as lovely as the princess, but still…" I finish my dance and go to make nice with the Rebel scum to see what info I can get.  
"Hi sweetie, couldn't help notice you watching my dance. Like what you see hun?" I let myself fall into the local accent and turn up the charm. "Maybe you'd like me to dance for you privately?" I can see him considering my offer when the wookiee hits him over the head, and growls something at him. I have a rough guess at what he said and go for it hoping I'm right. "I'm… not good at wookiee… did he say something about a princess?" He looks at me even more impressed.  
"Uh yeah he's… reminding me about a certain girl I'm trying to win over and that taking you up on that offer won't help my chances."  
"You are trying to woo a princess?" I ask, my eyes wide "Are you a prince or something? You're sure handsome enough to be!" I offer sweetly.  
"No, not a prince. As for the Princess.. well I guess she's not technically a Princess anymore… but I still call her one." the wookiee gives a low growl. Stupid wookiee, he doesn't trust me. He's far too intuitive. Keeping my voice low I whisper  
"You don't me… Princess Leia, the Rebel Leader do you?" Definite sabacc. The man shifts uncomfortably and I know I need to reassure him quickly if I'm going to get anything "Hey hey, don't worry. Your secret is safe with me. I'm no fan of the Empire. I would love so much to help the Rebellion.. but I'm just a lowly dancer…" He looks from me to the wookiee and back again. The wookiee gives a frustrated grunt at the man and a low warning growl.  
"Chew, she's a friend. Maybe she can help us." the wookiee growls skeptically. "Hey sweetheart, you're local right?" I nod. "Know where a good spot around here is to get parts for ships is?"  
"Oh yes! I could help you with that!" I coo at him. Well at least one of them was buying my act. "I finish my shift in an hour. Meet me out back then." I whisper winking at him as the cantina owner yells at me to get back to work.  
"Coming!" I shout cheerily.

An hour and a half later I'm finally off shift. Slipping out the back door I look around, hoping the wookiee hasn't talked the man out of meeting. Stang it's cold out. I shiver a bit with only a thin woollen shall over my thin dance costume. To my relief I hear a familiar bark and turn towards it. "Sorry I got off a bit late. I'm so glad you waited!" if only my orders were to kill you I think to myself wistfully. Still at least my memorization of the planets geography will come in useful to win this Rebel scums trust. "Come on, the best spot is over this way. I'm sure I can charm a great deal out of the owner for you." The wookiee grunts something which I can translate roughly as  
"I'm sure you can" still clearly less then thrilled with his friend's trust in me. As we walk towards the scrap yard I start asking questions carefully. The wookiee is already suspect of me.  
"So what's it like? Being in the Rebellion and all?"  
"It's hard… but there are great people there. Everyone looks out for each other. Lots of brave men and women."  
"I'll bet! I heard about the Death Star. Rumors are just one person took it out- but that's crazy right? No way that's true!" I laugh.  
"Actually…" a warning bark but he ignores it "It is. None of us could believe it when the kid hit the mark."  
"Kid?"  
"Sorry I just call him that. Luke doesn't appreciate it much, big hero he is." the wookiee is clearly getting agitated. Well there's a first name.  
"How can one person do that?" I ask him wide eyed.  
"Luke claims it was the force that guided him. I think that's all a bunch of hokie nonsense though."  
"The Force? You mean like Jedi? But I didn't think there was any Jedi left." now I'm learning some truly interesting things.  
"Kid was training to be a Jedi with some supposed Jedi Master. He's been practicing on his own since the Jedi he was training with died."  
"Wow! A Jedi that's so… so cool!" I want to ask more, but we've arrived at the Junk Yard and it will look suspicious if I do. Finding the manager I charm him into that discount as promised, then leave the Rebel scum to report back to my Master. With some luck intel can use the information to find a last name. I dare not push my luck more. I've learned luck has limits, but there will be another time.


	4. Ethics

A/N: It's come to my attention writing this chapter I have a few timeline issues in regards to the age of Mara's promotion to Emperor's Hand and her first missions. However I'm going to stick with slightly off canon here as I believe she would of needed to be trained and used to killing at a much earlier age then is official to be as comfortable as she was by the time of her first official mission as Emperor's hand at 14. It also suits my purposes because I also am doubtful Vader would not of noticed her prior to their formal introduction. So yes, I'm aware I'm a bit off canon, but I still intend to follow the official time line as close as I can. It also helps me show just how manipulative Palpatine really was as you will see. Palpatine is really fun to write. Such an evil guy. Also I realize that Mara's birth has now been established as 17 BBY so I will go back and fix some of the dates on this eventually. :p

**Chapter 4: Ethics**

**20 ABY**

**Luke Skywalker**

Well Mara is at least a little more cheerful and talkative this morning. Now the worst of things are out between us she's more open to discussing her life- including the fact she met Han and Chewie during the Rebellion and Chewie guessed she was an Imperial Agent. Note to self- use Chewie's judge of character- not Han's. Then again Han was the same guy who trusted Lando and ended up frozen in carbonite. Chewie warned him there too. Thinking of Han in carbonite reminds me of Jabba's palace. The first time Mara and I met, though I never knew who she was then. I remember seeing her there in retrospect. She'd dyed her hair, but she was still beautiful and definitely caught my eye even then. I kinda regret I never got to see her dance then. Lando tells me she was amazing. Even Leia was impressed. I wonder idly if she'd dance her dance she did then for me now. Never know if you don't ask I suppose. "Hey Mara?"

"Yes?" she asks from the couch, still nursing a cup of caffe. We're slowly reaching a compromise on mornings. I get up with the sun and make caffe and breakfast and leave her sleeping. Once the sun is well and truly up I bring her her fist cup, and she'll wander out of bed for the second one.

"I was just thinking… I've never got to see you dance like you did in the Court or Jabba's Palace." she laughs.

"Oh farm boy I know where your thoughts are at…" setting the cup down on the table she walks over to the vast collection of music she has. Stars that woman has some of everything. Selecting a song she lifts her arms and begins dancing. It's a sultry but still lively dance and I'm truly mesmerized by her. She moves like… stang I'm at a loss of words for anything so graceful. No wonder she captivated people. She ends with a graceful leap, right into my lap and kisses me laughing. "Stars that was fun! It's been too long since I danced!"

"Hey you can dance for me anytime!" I tell her, recovering my speech function finally. She laughs and settles back down with another cup of caffe.

"Glad you enjoy it. Your droid was pretty mortified at my audition." she laughs.

"What?"

"C3P0"

"What did he say?"

"I believe his exact words to me at Jabba's were _I hope your salary is more generous then your costume_. Who'd of though he was such a prude as well as being so annoying." She laughs and I laugh too. Poor 3PO was so lost in Jabba's Palace. I'd felt bad throwing the droid in there with know knowledge of their plans… but that droid had such a big mouth sometimes. "Helping Han get those parts for the Rebellion wasn't the only time I helped the Rebels though."

"Oh?" I ask. "Intentionally or not?"

"Actually intentionally somewhat. I knew I was helping Imperial Defectors at least. I ended up saving your ass quite by accident though."

"Wait, you knew me _before_ Jabba's?" I ask startled. She nods.

"I thought you'd of figured it out by now. Poln Major." Thinking back I mostly remember the firefight and some storm troopers who had defected… and a girl ordering me around in the Governer's Mansion.

"Wait, those storm troopers were with you? That was you who who fought along side me?"

"I recruited them anyways. I knew from a past mission they had defected… but our goals were often the same, so they would assist me when our paths crossed and I never turned them in. Most defectors I'd of turned in in a heartbeat… but these guys were out to do good. They'd defected after being ordered to kill dozens of innocent people. I certainly knew their was corruption in the Empire. It wasn't their fault their commanding officers were corrupt. So I protected them, and they in turn assisted me." Mara has always had her strong sense of morals… even if it meant crossing enemy lines she would follow what she believed was right and just. Palpatine had manipulated that of course, but I wondered idly if we'd had a moment to talk then, outside the heat off battle, before she was ordered to kill me. Picking up on the direction of my thoughts she shakes her head "I'd of turned you in in a heart beat if I'd had a chance. You were a mass murderer to me then."

"I suppose I was."

"Would you have turned to the Empire? If I'd asked you then… asked you to help me bring peace to the galaxy?" I consider it. Had it been Mara and her strong morals who asked me to join her instead of Vader or the Emperor? A woman who had fought along side the Rebels at times because our goals overlapped? Who had brought home to me I'd killed as many people when I blew up the Death Star… many hard working men and women who just were there because they needed a job to feed their families, as the Death Star had killed with Alderaan.

"I might have." I admit. "Besides.. if your argument didn't win me over, I think your looks would have." I laugh kissing my wife.

"Stang you mean if I'd just asked you then I could of kept my life _and_ had you in it? Why didn't Palpatine foresee that?" she grumbles and we both laugh. It could well have been a very different world had we had a moment to talk then.

**2 ABY**

**Emperor Palpatine**

Studying the sleeping form beside me I wonder if I didn't make a mistake not fully turning her to the Dark Side. Mara Jade is fully loyal to me. Of that I have no question. She lacks such loyalty to the Empire however it would seem. I've given her free reign, trusting she would do my bidding and help eliminate the Rebel threat… but it seems she has been making alliances with them when it suits her needs. I doubt she would defect to them. Her ties to me prevent that. However it is most problematic she has worked not only with Rebels but the hero of the Rebellion no less. Her morals have proved useful certainly. She has always been eager to destroy anything she feels threatens peace in the galaxy… but her disobedience, allowing defectors, traitors and rebel scum to go free when she feels it is justified.. is a clear problem. I am going to need to monitor my young Hand closer and provide her clear instructions and quick recall if I am to keep control of her. Apparently sensing my alert presence she blinks awake and turns to me. "Master? Is there a problem?"

"No my dear." I tell her smoothly. "I am merely stressed by all this Rebellion nonsense."

"Would you like me to… help you relax?" she asks. Stroking her hair I shake my head.

"No my dear. I need to reflect on the best course of action to end this war and bring peace to the galaxy once more is all. Rest now." She studies me for a few moments, trying to figure out I mean what I said or am brushing her off. Perhaps she is more perceptive then I credit her for. Apparently deciding not to question me she turns from me, clearly feeling a bit stung. I shall have to remedy that later.

"If that is what you wish my Master. I'm sorry for bothering you." Curling up she goes back to sleep and I continue my musings. A strange creature my Mara Jade is… beautiful, lethal, unquestioningly loyal to me… yet in spite of her willingness to kill in cold blood… she remains moral and sways towards the Light side.. even with training her in the Dark side. I ponder where I went wrong in training her vs Maul who shared her loyalty and utter devotion to me.. and yet had no such moral qualms. Perhaps in allowing her closeness and kindness I never showed Maul I inadvertently swayed her path. It is too late now to alter that with her… but I keep it in mind for training future Hands. Training from youth has had it's advantages… but Maul and Mara Jade have both underlined a critical flaw. They maintain a fierce attachment to me with an inability to see the larger picture. Vader however is also proving an issue. Since learning Luke Skywalker is his son he's becoming increasingly treasonous. It is as well there was that incident with the spice I decide. Mara has hated Vader ever since, and now Vader is less concerned with her having discovered his son is alive I can play them against each other. I've tasked Mara with keeping an eye on Vader, while suggesting to Vader my Hand end the boy's life before he can threaten us. I know as a Sith Lord to expect Vader to betray me eventually.. but I hope in my games I can keep the two from ever joining forces. Vader is too aware of my manipulations and with Mara's morals, Vader could pose a problem. So long as I can keep them apart until I can turn or destroy Luke Skywalker, all will still go according to plan.

**4 ABY**

**Mara Jade**

Vader. I hate him. How I could of ever considered him an ally I don't know. Now I hunt him with no qualms, reporting back to my Master all I see. My Master has told me a bit about Sith lore and the Rule of Two, and that he believes Vader is plotting against him. From what I can see Vader has become obsessed with Luke Skywalker, the rebel who destroyed the Death Star. While I hope for his sake he nearly wishes vengeance on the scum for the massacre of Imperial men and women… I'm doubtful of that. He seems to have a much more personal interest. Knowing Skywalker is skilled in the force I can't help it suspect he hopes to turn Skywalker and train him as an apprentice to overthrow my Master. I relay this back to my Master who confronts Vader. Vader acknowledges his intent to turn the boy to the Dark Side, but claims it is for the benefit of the Empire. There is also the issue of that annoying woman Shira Brie Vader found. My Master asked me to leave the room as Vader introduced her and I did as I was told… but I can't help feeling she is a threat somehow. I consider approaching my Master about it, but I know I'll need to uncover what type of threat before I can say much. Before I can think more on the matter I hear my Master's call.

"_Mara, I have a mission for you_" falling into an automatic bow I kneel and respond.

"_Yes my Master?_"

"_Skywalker has become too big a threat to risk trying to turn. He must be eliminated. Vader must not know of this_."

"_I understand my Master_."

"_You are to go to Tattooine and infiltrate Jabba's Palace as a dancer. Skywalker will go there to rescue his friend. See to it he does not survive_"

"_It shall be done my Master_" I respond, glad to have a mission to keep my mind off things. It will also be good to get off planet and away from Isard. She's asking far too many questions and getting far too close to the truth. Heading to my ship I prepare to travel to Tattooine, proud to be tasked with ridding the galaxy of such a dangerous criminal. I am learning there are many in the Empire who can not be trusted… even those I once considered allies. I will rid this galaxy of those who are corrupt and uncaring for life… starting with Luke Skywalker "hero" of the Rebellion


	5. Lines

**Chapter 5: Lines**

**2 ABY**

**Mara Jade**

Skywalker… the man LaRone had sent to help me. It's a common enough name in places, and yet… how many Skywalkers wield a lightsaber? Albeit badly. Still even if my hunch is right, that this is the man Vader seeks, I needed him… and mission came first. I was in no place to capture him, not without risking my mission and getting Ferroz's wife and daughter killed. The fire which saved us allowed him to escape as well. Perhaps I could of commed Vader and alerted him, but I got the sense Vader already knew Skywalker was on the planet anyways. Why else would he of brought the entire 501st? Of course I know this will just make Skywalker run and hide. Vader has absolutely no subtlety at all- he was like a reek in a fine ceramics shop. I can tell Vader is annoyed with me as we make our way to the Throne Room side by side to report to our Master. Or perhaps he's just annoyed in general? I never knew with the increasingly moody Sith Lord. He had taken a gamble and failed to snare the Rebels once again. Our Master would not be happy with him. I on the other hand had fulfilled mine and then some. I'd managed to both clear Ferroz's name and rescue his wife and daughter. Perhaps my alliances in doing so had been questionable, but they got the job done didn't they? Kneeling and bowing my head as we reach the Throne Room I see Vader do the same beside me.

"So you return my servants." the Emperor said "Some with better news then others." I watched as he gazed pointedly at Vader and smirked. It wasn't often I was able to show Vader up. Usually the massive Sith Lord liked to rub into my face how much better he was then me. I was enjoying his lesson in humility.

"I was unable to capture the Rebel leaders before they left the system in the chaos of battle… but I was able to gain valuable information as to where they are going. Their new base will be a cold uninhabited world. Given their limited resources I expect it won't be too far from Poln Major." Vader said.

"Data you only have because I encouraged Thrawn to approach you. You would of overlooked such details yourself Lord Vader." the Emperor admonished him.

"None the less, I shall begin narrowing my search. This time they will not escape. An uninhabited world means no distractions or assistance to get in the way." Vader told him. I watched as a flicker of annoyance passed between the two… Vader challenging my Master, and my Master's irritation at Vader's insubordination, stating what he would do and not asking permission. The air crackled with tension but my Master shrugged and let it go.

"Very well Lord Vader." he said dismissively. Turning to me, he motioned me to rise. Taking my hands in his he smiled at me. "You, my Hand have done very well. You not only fulfilled your mission, you went above and beyond. I'm proud of you." he told me.

"Thank you my Master." I said beaming. I could tell Vader was shooting me a disgusted look behind his mask and I resisted the urge to stick my tongue out at him. Such a sore looser he is.

"Am I dismissed my Master?" he asks from behind me and Palpatine nods to him.

"Yes, go Lord Vader. I hope your next report will be more useful." he says dismissively. Vader is annoyed but chooses not to say anything and strides from the room. Once Vader leaves, Palpatine sits back on the throne, drawing me with him so I rest against his side. Smiling I curl into him as he wraps his one arm around me, his other hand entwined with mine. "Such a little pitten you are." he laughs softly and kisses me lightly "So sweet and warm when your claws aren't in something." I purr teasingly and he laughs drawing me closer. It's rare we get moments like this these days, and I enjoy it. Too often the Rebellion keeps us busy and me off world. I miss our earlier simple days of watching the opera and sleeping in his embrace when we returned. He must of sensed my thoughts because he paused in stroking my back and hair and met my eyes "I believe my little pitten deserves a reward for her good work. What is it you would like my dear?" he asked. I smile. He knows my answer, but I say it out loud to humour him.

"You of course." I say as I kiss him. He laughs and scoops me up, his embrace surprisingly strong despite his frail appearance. As he carries me towards his private chambers, I nuzzle his neck. I feel amusement and contentment coming from him.

"Ah, you are so much more then an old man dared hope for my dear." he says. I flush under his warm words.

"It is I who should thank you my Lord." I tell him "There are far more beautiful women in your Court." I tell him and he shakes his head.

"There is none more lovely then you my dear." he tells me as we lay together on the massive bed. Touching a finger to my lips he silences any protest I might make. "For now, enough talk." he says, drawing me to him. I acquiesce happily.

**20 ABY**

**Luke Skywalker**

I wonder if I didn't make a mistake in bringing up the subject of her past. Mara has been lost in thought thinking about it lately. When I touched her mind to figure out why I got some fairly disturbing images. Part of her still is in love with Palpatine. I love her… I do with all my heart. I know I need to accept this, but I'm struggling. Of all the people why does it have to be kriffing Palpatine? Even as I think it, I cringe. That's exactly the problem. Her thoughts are on just that-_ kriffing Palpatine_. I wish I could take back our conversations and never know this. She was right I was not ready to deal with this. I knew she had other lovers before me. That was no shock. I had long realized anyone who didn't bat an eye at Jabba's advances was far from innocent… it's not the physical intimacy that bothers me I realize, disgusting as I find the idea. It's that she loved him… part of her still does. Maybe I'm just jealous? I had a few girlfriends before Mara… but never the depth of relationship like she did with Palpatine. I now understand why Callista was so adamant things could not work without her regaining the Force. A relationship between Force users is far more powerful and potent then anything else. It makes all other relationships seem pale in comparison.

"Credit for your thoughts?" my wife nudges me gently.

"Just thinking about how the Force intensifies relationships." I tell her. She nods.

"Mmm… and feeling jealous because I've known this for a long time, and that was why I hesitated to get involved with you." she says. I look at her.

"That was why you pushed me away?" I ask her. She shrugs.

"It's part of it. At first I was under a command to kill you… which make it kind of difficult to be around you. After that… when you gave me your father's lightsaber… I saw a glimmer of what could be. I wasn't ready then though. Force relationships are kinda… intense. I also needed to be sure you would not hold back or shut me out. It needed to go both ways. I knew what it meant to have that kind of bond. I know the pain if that bond is broken… if I opened myself to that and you changed your mind… I think it would of killed me then." she says softly and I consider that. Of course, it had to be awful for her when Palpatine died. With our own Force bond I understand this better then ever. What would it have been like to feel his death? I try think of how I'd feel if Mara died and I had to feel her death and her rage towards me for years makes sense.

"It makes sense I suppose." I tell her "I just wish we hadn't waited so long to admit how we felt."

"Such a sap farm boy." she says as she ruffles my hair.

"I mean it Mara." I tell her.

"I know." she says softly. "But it probably wouldn't have changed much anyways. I needed that time to heal, to trust the Force again." I nod and kiss her.

"Still… what would of happened if I'd kissed you that night like I wanted to?" I ask her. She considers it.

"You'd of probably walked away with a broken arm at least. I was barely free of Palpatine's last command and recovering from our fight with C'boath still. I would not of been too receptive to it." she answers in her typical blunt manner. I remember her on Mykrr and nod.

"True… but I think it would of been worth the trip to the med ward if I knew what this would become." I tell her, a mix of teasing and seriousness. She smirks at me.

"I dunno.. I would think you enjoy having at least one real hand." she says, laughter behind her eyes. "After all, handing me a weapon, knowing I was a trained assassin… then making a move? Especially a weapon which is mostly good for death or dismemberment?" she points out.

"Ok, point taken… but you're not armed now." I tell her, wrestling her down and kissing her deeply. As I do, she whispers in my ear.

"That's what you think." I am now truly curious where she has managed to hide weapons this time. My wife seems to find the most improbable of places to hide a wide range of arsenal… no matter how skin tight or revealing her outfit.

**3 ABY**

**Palpatine**

I marvel as I watch Mara dance for me, and me alone. I have less and less time to enjoy such pleasures lately. Dance, art, music… they have been my passions for as long as I can remember. Mara daces with a lightness and natural rhythm few dancers possess, and she is a true joy to watch. There is also a joy and passion in her movement. She enjoys dancing as much as I enjoy watching it. Few things bring me joy these days, but my youngest Hand seems to seldom fail to do so. As she finishes her dance, she bows and walks to me on silent feet. "Bravo!" I tell her and she smiles.

"My dance pleased you?" she asks, and I nod.

"Very much so my dear." I tell her.

"I'm glad. It makes me happy to please you Master." she tells me. As she does I feel a flicker of emotion. The Sith in me beats it down. Emotions besides rage and hatred make one weak. I can not afford to be weak. I curse the fact her own weakness, weakens me, but I can not bring myself to change her. Not when her carefree moments when we have rare times to relax bring me so much joy. I wonder if I could change her even? A certain amount of a softer nature had always shown it self in her, no matter how much I tried to train it and beat it out of her in her youth. I encouraged her to kill from an early age, and she will without question… but only when she believes the crime merits it. I have never sought to encourage her to be anything but a ruthless killer… yet she is so different from Maul. I trained them both from infancy nearly. The only difference I can think of is my relationship with her. By allowing her to love me and showing her measured amounts of love in return, have I altered her path so much? I consider my own youth. I wonder how different things might have been had I once been shown love and tenderness then? I have no regrets of course. Without that hatred of my family which drove me to murder I never would of become Plagius's apprentice, never become Sidious and the Emperor. I probably would of had some boring life on Naboo, married off and eventually claiming my father's place as the leader of a small world. No I was glad my own youth had played out as it had. It raised the question if I had deprived Mara of greatness by allowing her weakness… but she seemed content enough. Perhaps not all of us can be great and endure the suffering required for it. I notice she has settled on the plush leather couch beside me, and watches wordlessly as I muse. She has learned to accept my moments of introspection and no longer questions them. She simply waits patiently until I speak again. Snapping out of my ponderings I shake my head.

"I'm sorry my dear, I drifted off a bit." I tell her and she nods.

"I understand Master, you have a lot on your mind. Can I be of assistance?" she asks.

"The matters I consider… I'm afraid not." I say and she looks disappointed, but accepts my answer without question. For some cursed reason I feel the need to explain to her "It is not a problem to be solved my dear. I was merely reflecting on my own youth versus your upbringing and wondering if I have truly done all I can for you." I tell her. Not precisely my thoughts, but close enough, and it should appease her curious nature.

"Oh" she says, a bit surprised by my candidness. Seldom do I share such thoughts with her. She considers my words and shakes her head "You gave me life, a home, an education, a purpose… and love. I could not ask for more." she tells me. Curse that word. Love. It's not a word a Sith should ever think or tolerate… and yet I do. Tolerate it anyways. I refuse to open myself to it, beyond the brief flickers I am unable to halt. No, there are lines I will not cross. I can not walk the knifes edge between light and dark my Mara Jade does. I have long drawn my line and will not cross it


	6. Failings

A/N: I apologize for the delay in updating this. Thanks to those who follow this and encourage me. :) I hope you enjoy this! If anyone wants to give me word prompts or ideas for scenes they would like to see in this, please feel free to throw them out. I will try work them in.

**Chapter 6: Failings**

**4 ABY**

**Palpatine**

I reach out in the Force again, searching possible futures. It's strange. I can not sense any immediate danger to my Hand… and yet as I watch her prepare to leave for Tattooine to deal with Skywalker… I can not shake the feeling it is the last time I shall look upon her with my own eyes. Ever attuned to my moods she feels my apprehension and crosses the room to stand by me. "Is something wrong Master?" she asks me softly. I pull her into my arms as I consider how to answer. If I tell her my of my sense of foreboding will it lead her to fail? A self fulfilling prophecy… and yet.. what if telling her prevents whatever future it is which lingers at the edge of my consciousness, eluding my efforts to pin it down. Finally I reach a decision.

"I am searching all possible futures my dear… a sense of foreboding haunts me.. but I can not say with any certainly what it means." I tell her. She considers that.

"You fear I may fail… die even in my hunt for Skywalker?" she asks.

"I considered that… but in no future do I see your death in this." I tell her, and I can feel her breath a sigh of relief against me. So loyal she is she would walk to her death if I commanded it… but the fire of life burns bright in her and like most living creatures she fears her own end. She is far more aware of mortality than most. How many has she killed in my name? She knows how quick and brutal life can be. She fears meeting the same painful end she has dealt to others. I am not unaware of the fact that my Hand offers mercy to some, while those who cause her pain meet a far more grizzly end. Running my hand through her long red hair I memorize the silken feel of it, the warmth of her lithe form pressed to mine. She leans into my touch and gives a soft sigh of contentment. My thoughts flicker back to our first night together… how nervous and unsure she was… yet the fire was still there, calling me to her. That fire in her… passion for all she does… and for me… it has only grown since that day. I know what it is which draws me to her… and yet I wonder what it is that so draws her to me. The other women… Roganda, Ysanne… they seek power, and hope to obtain it through me. I know with Mara this is not the case. She is always dutiful, eager to serve… but she does not desire power. Is love truly so blind?

"Master?" she asks. Bringing my thoughts back to the present I nod at her.

"Yes my dear?" I respond, shifting her in my arms so I can see her face.

"This sense… perhaps it is not me the Force speaks to you of." she says. Her words make much sense… but if not her… then myself? Am I to fail somehow? I do not see it being possible. Every step I have taken and will take has been carefully studied. Still, if the Force is right… it is not speaking I wish to spend my last moments with my Hand.

"Perhaps you are right my dear." I acknowledge. "But always in motion is the future, so let us not worry for now." I tell her. As the words leave my mouth I curse the blasted Jedi Master who was always so fond of saying that… one of the few to ever bring me to a draw in a lightsaber duel. Mara gives me a curious glance having felt my flash of annoyance at past ghosts. Pulling myself fully to the present I start to speak, but words are not needed. She puts a soft finger to my lips and shakes her head gently.

"We can always speak…" she says, her voice drifting off suggestively, her thoughts in tune with mine. Taking the lead she entwines her fingers in mine and leads me from the throne room, back into my private rooms. As she guides me I marvel that the shy teen who once approached me as grown into a beautiful and confident young woman. She does not hesitate physically as we lay together on the bed. Only as she seeks that which bonds us does she falter. In this aspect she still sees me as Master. Her Force sense flickers light as a bird against the solid walled darkness of mine, seeking permission to enter. Carefully I lower my shields just enough to let her in, the light in her burning me, just as I know the darkness in me feels like caging that little bird. She does not guard the way I do and I can feel how the dark side binds her wings… and yet she seems to feel a security in being caged thus. As our bodies move together, so too do our minds. No longer the stumbling steps of our first meetings, but a glorious waltz of light and dark meeting and swirling together into shades of grey. So far we have come… so why do I fear it is about to all be taken away?

**20 ABY**

**Luke Skywalker**

I duck and grin as my wife takes a swing with the lightsaber that would of taken off most heads. Mara has grown so much in skill with our duels. It's one aspect of Jedi training she never protests. Then again, while she might of forgot some of it, she was always the better of us with a lightsaber. Now I know it was her who I met those years ago on Poln Major, I remember being stunned then by her skills as well, rapidly flicking her saber on and off to deflect blaster bolts while avoiding cutting the struts of the cat walk she was on. I was surprised to learn much of her duelling was learned under Palpatine himself. I can barely picture the man moving, led alone engaging in high paced duels and multiple styles of lightsaber combat. Distracted as I am thinking about this I miss her slight feint to the side, and she hooks her leg under mind, dropping me to the floor, her lightsaber pointed at my throat. "You need to stay focused farm boy, unless you are trying to lose." she tells me, wiping away the thin sheen of sweat from her brow. "What's got you so spaced out anyways?" she asks. I feel a twinge of guilt as she asks. She could reach over our bond and see, the way I have done to her… but she respects my mental space and seeks permission. She raises an eyebrow, feeling my guilt, but doesn't say anything.

"Was just marvelling at how wonderful you are." I tell her, accepting her proffered hand as she closes her lightsaber down and standing.

"I am aren't I?" she says, a note of teasing clear in her voice "But it's more then that isn't it? You aren't feeling guilty for admiring your wife." she says. Kriff so she was going to call me on it after all. Sighing I answer her.

"I was feeling bad about using our bond to see what has had you so spaced yourself lately… instead of being mature and just asking you about it." I admit. "I guess it makes me feel a little leery of my own powers… kinda like Palpatine." I sigh. Disjointed though my explanation is, she nods her understanding.

"You assume I mind… or minded then. Sometimes it's easier not to find the words for an awkward conversation. I could shield… I just don't. I assume you will be listening… the same way he did. It's not something I care to share with most… but those I share a Force bond with… I trust them enough not to keep secrets." she explains. I feel a little better, but part of my brain feels it's still wrong.

"Still, I should of asked permission." I sigh. She cups my cheek in her hand and shakes her head.

"I could of told you too what I was doing." she says. "And I am sorry for thinking so much about… _him_. I just… bringing it up brought a lot of powerful emotions with it." she explains and I nod.

"I can't say I like it… but I understand it. He was your first love and nothing will change that. With our bond I understand that much better now… I think if something ever happened to you… I would die too. I'm amazed at how strong you were to recover and rebuild… and even more so you were willing to trust myself and the Force enough to risk that kind of pain again Mara." I tell her, and she looks away, uncomfortable with emotions. Shifting the subject away from such raw feelings she pushes us back to ground she feels secure on.

"So we still have a few more styles for me to show you… I regret Palpatine never finished showing me all of them. Anyways you up for another match farm boy or does the powerful Jedi Master need a time out?" she teases lightly. Moving swiftly, calling on the Force for enhanced speed, I spin her around and pin her against the wall.

"I have something else I'd rather practice… _styles_ on." I offer suggestively and grin. She grins too and slips a small data pad out of her pocket. What in stars is my wife up to now. I recognize that feral, mischievous grin. She definitely has something planned.

"I'd hoped you might say that" she purrs "Because while I am quite versed in a number of styles there too… one can always learn new things. You game farm boy?" she asks me winking.

"What is on that Mara?" I ask, though I suspect I already know.

"Instructions…" she said, still grinning "After all you said today should be dedicated to training." she laughs and I laugh too. Kissing her deeply I steer her towards our rooms.

_ "I'm always game to learn new techniques." _I tell her through the Force, unwilling to break our passionate kiss.

_ "Then stop talking and start doing farm boy" _she responds mentally, as she wrestles me down. I oblige her happily.

**4 ABY**

**Mara Jade**

I hate sand, I hate Hutts and I hate Tattooine, I think to myself as I land on the Force forsaken rim world. I can't wait to finish here and return to Coruscant. Hot air blasts my face as I look out the open window around the edge of Jabba's Palace. _Where are you Skywalker?_ I whisper silently to the winds. I want you dead so I can get gone. Kriff I should of killed him back on Poln Major. It wasn't my job then, so I'd never bothered to check out my hunch if he was the Rebel Vader sought. I regret that now. Sure he helped me saved Ferrouz's wife and daughter, and for that I had let him go.. but now I had to sit here waiting to kill him, I regretted my choice. "The choices of one shape the futures of all" I mutter under my breath, reciting the old Jedi saying I'd picked up. As the twin suns set I sighed and made my way back into the Palace proper for my shift. As I entered the room I was startled to see a familiar pair of droids. Skywalker must be close I realized. He wouldn't send his droids in if he wasn't on planet somewhere. I watched silently from the shadows as the droids were fitting with restraining bolts, waiting for Oola and the other dancer who's name I had not yet caught to finish their dance. Mid way through the dance I saw Jabba start to pull Oola towards himself. Ugh, poor girl, I thought to myself. I had complained about being sent to… entertain fat older men before.. this was infinitely worse. I made a mental note to dance well, but not so well as to become a favourite. As I watched the golden protocol droid shuffled over to me. "Excuse me miss, are you another dancer?" he asked. Baffled, I respond anyways.

"I am, what of it?" I ask, leery of saying too much to Skywalker's droid.

"I didn't realize Jabba had so many." the droid says. I shrug at him.

"Jabba pays dancers well.. those that survive til payday anyways." I respond, keeping my tone casual.

"Well I hope your salary is more generous than your costume Miss… uh" the droid hesitated realizing he'd never asked my name.

"You can call me Arica." I offer him, before he thinks too hard on it and blows a fuse, then Jabba blames me. While it feels a bit stupid talking to a protocol droid, part of me is lonely so I humour the droid who is as out of place here as I am. Noticing Oola has stopped dancing entirely and is now frantically pulling against the chain leashing her to Jabba I sigh "She's got some fight in her… Jabba isn't going to like that." I say. "There's one thing she won't do no matter now much Jabba pays her… and it's going to get her killed."

"Why it looks like she's standing on some sort of trap door!" the droid tells me alarmed. Nodding I watch as sure enough Jabba slams his fist on the activation button for the trap door and Oola falls through into the pit below. I slip from the room trying to drown out her screams._ Stupid girl_, I think to myself. I might have my pride, but I'm not above needing to do what I need to survive. I hear the sickening crunch of bone from the rancor pit and the screams stop. As Jabba's lackey Bib Fortuna comes to collect me for my turn on the dance floor, I take a deep breath to steady myself and hope I don't end up in chains like Oola. It will make killing Skywalker that much harder.

I end up saved from replacing Oola by a bounty hunter showing up with the wookiee, Chewbacca. I can sense something familiar about the bounty hunter. Later that night my hunch is proved right when the "hunter" thaws out Solo and Jabba catches _her_ I learn, in the act. With the Rebel Princess chained to him, I know I'm safe to dance and not end up bound to the Hutt. I feel a flicker of compassion and respect for the woman. Though forced into a revealing outfit and subject to the Hutt's affections she keeps her head high. She doesn't cry or complain. Not that it would help her any, and maybe she knows that… but it makes me respect her anyways, even if we are at opposite ends of a war. I also notice all the pieces are in place now except Skywalker… which means he must be arriving soon. I'll need to keep alert. After I finish my set I slip into a quiet corner to sleep and wait.

As dawn is scarcely breaking over the horizon my Force sense flares a warning. Skywalker is here! There can be no mistaking that presence. It's stronger, more focused then last we met. Watching as he steps into the room I observe how calm and confident he is now. Nothing like the scared farm boy, still wet around the ears I met back on Poln Major. As he argues with Jabba I search for a weapon. Surprise is going to be my best chance here. I have a hunch if it comes to a duel between us now we'd be a close match. A duel also would mean revealing who I am. Hutts aren't precisely fond of Imperial agents so I'm loath to use my lightsaber unless I have to. Slipping closer to one of the guards my hand closes around his blaster… only then do I realize my mistake. I missed a layer of security I discover as I feel a blaster pressed into my back. Kriff! Though my own life meant nothing compared to the safety of the Empire, dying here would not allow me to complete my mission. There is too many bodies and too many weapons here to do anything besides comply for the moment. Once I am away from the crowds I wrest my way to freedom, but it is too late. Skywalker has already been arrested and Jabba is taking him to be fed to the Sarlacc, angry Skywalker killed his pet rancor. I try talk my way onto the barge to see the Emperor's will is done, but I only manage to make Jabba even more suspect of me. As I am sent away I see the bitter truth. I failed. For the first time in my life I have failed. Recalling the Emperor's vision before I left for Tattooine I shiver inspite of the heat, and pray to the Force my failure does not cost me all I hold dear


	7. Questions

**Chapter 7: Questions**

**0.5 BBY**

**Palpatine**

I watch the presently still form beside me, waiting for the moment she notices… and there it is. With a sudden jerked movement Mara shot into alertness. The pain and fear in her Force sense is clear as she momentarily loses control of herself and lunges for the fresher. When she returns I can see in the low light she is pale and shaking. As she slips back into the bed I turn to face her. "What's wrong my dear?" I ask. I know of course, but I want her to say it.

"Did you not feel it? Thousands of screaming voices… then silence." she says, her eyes wide. I shrug.

"Oh, that." I say dismissively, enjoying the feeling of shock from her.

"Master… it was like an entire world screamed at once. How can you be so dismissive?" she asks sharply, though I can feel a small flicker of unease at how she knows her tone right now goes against her training. She is aware she is treading on thin ice by challenging me.

"Rebel scum." I sigh, and she cocks her head at me.

"Surely the Alliance could not of had that many active soldiers… if they did you would see them as more of a threat then you do." she says, mind flickering through the possibilities. Slipping an arm around her waist I pull her to me, wanting to feel her reaction to what I said next as much as sense it.

"Soldiers, supporters… I see no difference." I say in a bored tone. Beneath my hands I feel her go rigid. Ah yes, there's the trigger to that fiery temper of hers.

"How can you say that?" she asks horrified, drawing back from me. "What did you do?" she asks me sharply, beginning to understand. There is a barely controlled rage at the idea of killing anyone who is not a soldier… an equal. I sit silently, enjoying the anger emanating from her as she awaits my answer. The longer I leave her waiting, the more her anger with me grows. It's amusing, but I tire of it quickly enough. I do not wish to lose her loyalties… merely challenge her and perhaps reinforce her place to her.

"I gave Grand Moff Tarkin the choice of system to demonstrate the power of the now operational Death Star on, that is all." I say, watching her face.

"I thought Vader was to be controlling him… and Vader answers to you. Surely you can not condone this action. It was not a military target he chose was it?" she asks. I shake my head no.

"It was Alderaan.. birthplace of the Rebellion… first with Bail Organa, and now his daughter." I tell her. A look of horror crosses her face.

"How can you possibly agree with this?" she asks, her control of her temper slowly slipping away. "They are a peaceful planet… yes they had a few Rebels among their ranks.. but all an attack on them will do is drive the defection of more people to the Alliance. It's a fool move." she says and I raise an eyebrow at her. Bristling with rage though she is, an undercurrent of fear lies beneath. I feel her conflicting desires to storm from the room in her anger, and a fear of daring to leave my side without my saying so. Though in my private chambers, the two of us alone, boundaries and formalities are relaxed… but they are not forgotten. Her training to remain obedient stills her for now.

"Are you saying I am a fool Mara Jade?" I ask, my voice low, an undercurrent of threat there. She flinches and bows her head.

"No! I… Tarkin is the fool. Surely you would not pick such a target yourself." she says. I can hear a note of question in her voice, feel her doubt in the Force… but I do not give her the satisfaction of confirming or denying my involvement.

"It matters little. The next target will be a military one. The Rebel leader was allowed to escape on a tagged ship. This pesky Rebellion will soon be crushed." I tell her and she frowns.

"What of civilians if there are any? Already far too many Imperial citizens lives have been lost on Alderaan." she says.

"Casualties in the cause of the security of the Empire." I tell her. Her anger has reached a point she is shaking with rage at my casual dismissal of her concerns. The irony of an assassin being upset by casual murder is not lost on me- or her I realize as I lightly touch her mind. Unlike myself however, Mara has her own code of ethics. She will do anything besides jeopardize a mission to minimize collateral damage. It lends itself to a certain subtly, which is useful in her covert work, since she prefers to slip in and out silently. Making a scene would lead guards and possibly family to come in, leading to more deaths at her hands. Outside of a mission objective she will only kill when there are no other options.

"Turning loyal citizens against us by enraging them at loss civilian life helps security how exactly? Even if this rebellion is crushed, resentment will give rise to another. How can that possibly better things?" she asks angrily, her rage overriding her fear now, but not at the expense of her self preservation. Softening her tone, knowing she has crossed a line she quickly backsteps. "I'm sorry Master… I know I can not see the future as you can… see the need for this." she says.

"No, you can not." I tell her plainly, "It is not a power you possess, or can." I say. What I do not tell her is that I ripped that ability from her years ago. Those who are uncertain of the future are easier to control. Shifting slightly, anxiety and discomfort stemming from her, anger still lurking beneath it, Mara addresses me in a subdued tone.

"Master… I can't stay her tonight… knowing you agree with this… wanton destruction of Imperial life and resources. I need time… space." she says, waiting for me to release her. I hold her a moment longer, enjoying the powerful emotions playing through her, then nod and let her go.

"Very well." I say, as she slips silently from the bed, collecting her clothes and dressing. Though she knows it's a grievous breach of protocol, she turns to face me one last time before she slips from my rooms.

"I hope you will consider my words and reflect on them." she says soft and hesitantly, almost as though speaking her thoughts aloud versus speaking to me directly. I give her a slight nod to set her at ease.

"I shall consider our exchange here tonight." I tell her as she slips off to find somewhere quiet away from me to calm her temper, still flickering with anger at myself, Tarkin, Vader and the Rebellion for causing what she sees as a senseless waste of life. She knows better then most, anger directed at the wrong person can prove fatal if allowed to guide ones actions.

**20ABY**

**Mara Jade Skywalker**

I watch as Luke smooths his familiar black tunic over himself and sigh, adjusting the pins holding my hair up in an elaborate style. I love Luke… I truly do… but moments like these I curse his family, and more to the point the New Republic and all it's ceremonies. I prefer a quiet life, away from the spotlight. Married to Luke I am forever being thrust into it however. Todays ceremony has me more on edge than most however. Today marks the anniversary of the destruction of Alderaan. Luke insists I go, but as the former Emperor's Hand, I can't help it feel I don't belong. True, I had nothing to do with Alderaan. I'd opposed it when I learned of it… as much as I was able to under the circumstances anyways. The night Alderaan was destroyed was as fresh and painful in my mind as it was many survivors… moreso perhaps due to my Force abilities. Most survivors had not had to feel everyone screaming and dying. Though Luke understands… he felt it too… most will not see it that way. They will see any pain on my part surrounding Alderaan as justice for my crimes. Sighing as I set the last of the pins in place I turn to face my husband. "Is it really so necessary for me to go to this?"

"Mara, love, you know this means a lot to Leia." he answers softly, understanding my reluctance but refusing to acquiesce it.

"I know Luke… and were it just Leia I wouldn't worry. Even Winter isn't so bad… but so many.. it doesn't matter that I am a Jedi now, or how much good I do for the New Republic, for them… they still see me as the Emperor's Hand." I say sadly. Cupping my cheek in his hand he kisses me gently.

"Since when have you let what others think stop you?" he points out. It's true in a way. Even when the New Republic believed I should be in jail for my past crimes, I still helped them. I earned my place here. I know the truth of the matter… that I could not have stopped what happened, even if I had know about it. It did not help inspire trust in those who confronted me that I refused to say where I had been and what I had been doing when Alderaan was destroyed.. but what would telling them the truth do? I somehow doubted saying I was in bed with the man they despised above all else would help me any. Feeling my thoughts, and through our bond knowing the truth now, Luke tilts my head to meet his gaze. "It's not their business Mara." he tells me.

"No they just think it is, and try demand I tell them." I respond irritatedly "Which is why I don't want to go."

"I know Mara." Luke sighs. Spinning from him irritated I sigh.

"Maybe I should just tell them the truth. Tell them I was busy kriffing Palpatine. Shock might at least shut them up for five minutes." I growl. "I mean after some of those holos of me surfaced I'm sure half of them suspect it anyways. I _know_ some of them who are less careful with their thoughts do. They already hate me, why not add fuel to the fire. Feeling is mutual anyways." I sigh. Luke pulls me into his arms.

"Give them time Mara… I'm sure they will come around." he says. I shake my head.

"No they won't Farmboy." I respond. "They what I was… they know I served willingly, killed their friends and families. They don't forgive that. Even if I didn't kill them directly, I supported and loved the man who ordered those deaths." Taking a deep breath I glade away from him and speak through the Force the words my mouth dries at _"I would do the same again if I could go back in time… not change. I believed in peace and an end to corruption… and though people focus on those who threatened the Emperor I killed… many I killed were truly despicable. War lords who kept their people impoverished and ruled by fear… those who would take girls far too young to their beds… no one remembers those, because no one cared for them in life." _Luke hesitates and I understand his thoughts. To his mind Palpatine was no better… after all he had destroyed a peace loving planet in the name of making sure all systems feared him too much to rebel… and though it had been me who approached him… I knew Luke saw it as wrong. Meeting his gaze I shake my head. "It's different. I _chose_ to be there… he never forced me. He could of… and I would of obeyed… but I was always there of my own accord"

"I know Mara… I just… you were barely a teen." Luke sighed.

"In body perhaps… but in mind… I was never sheltered from the things which went on within the walls of Imperial Palace. I knew what I asked when I asked it of him." I say. Luke opens his mouth to speak but I raise a hand to still him "While I was training as a dancer… they told me what would be expected of me sooner or later. I had no control there. By choosing him… it was a small measure of control I held… I could choose when and who my first night would be with." I explain. Luke frowns at me.

"It still doesn't make it right." he says.

"I chose him out of love, not just a need for control." I remind him. "Anyways, right or wrong it changes nothing." Glancing at my chrono I sigh again "Lets get this night over with." I can tell he wants to argue the point more with me, but he holds his tongue and nods. Duty first. To the Jedi Order, to the New Republic, to his sister… he will always put everyone else ahead of his wants. Taking my hand he leads me out the door to make our way to the memorial service and following ball. At least there is dancing… and wine. I'll need it tonight.

**12 BBY**

**Mara Jade**

I watch from my perch on the edge of the ravine, a blastech riffle in my hands. Watching and waiting. Finally the reason for my waiting emerges. A herd of Gualamas enters the clearing below. They are beautiful creatures and I sit admiring them for a moment. They are royal creatures, and while I have seen the tame ones in Theed, nothing is more majestic then seeing a while one in person. I wanted to stay watching them forever, but that was not why I was here I thought sadly. Sure enough my survival skills instructor nudged me with his boot "What are you waiting for? Take the shot." he tells me, his voice low so as not to spook the creatures below.

"I don't want to." I sigh. "Why do I have to kill one?"

"Because you were ordered to." the instructor answers, no trace of emotion of sympathy at my plight.

"But why is it so important?" I press, and the instructor frowns at me.

"Such an ungrateful child you are. Don't you know it's a great honour to be allowed to hunt such a magnificent beast?" he asks me sharply.

"I know" I sigh. Of course I knew. I'd only been lectured in all the details of Naboo's customs and laws for years. Outside of Coruscant, Naboo was the next closest place to home for me. It was my Master's home world, and so it was mine in a sense too since I had no true home world of my own. It was peaceful and beautiful here… so quiet compared to Coruscant.

"Then why are you hesitating?" the instructor asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. I sigh.

"Because… they are beautiful. It's sad to have to kill one." I explain, and he rolls his eyes.

"It doesn't matter. You were given an order. Now follow it before it's too late." he snaps at me. I glare back.

"And what if I say no?" I ask challenging him.

"They I will tell your Master you have failed." he tells me. I flinch at that. "Is that what you want?" he asks. I shake my head no vigorously and he nods "I thought as much. Now are you ready to take the shot before the herd moves on?" he asks and I nod an affirmative. Setting my jaw I line my sight up and pull the trigger, shutting my eyes as I do, not wishing to see the magnificent creature before me die. I peak my eyes open when I hear a thump below and watch as it breaths a last shuddering breath then slumps limp. Handing me a vibroblade the instructor pats me on the shoulder. "Good work. You remember what to do next?" he asks and I nod, taking the blade from his hands. For a split second I debate running him through with it, then panic wondering where such a horrible thought came from. Scrabbling down the ledge to where my kill lay, I made the incision in the belly as I had been taught. Reaching in to grab the guts and pull them from the abdominal cavity I feel ill. Pushing my nausea down I work as quick as I can, knowing I'm being timed. I keep my eyes averted as much as I'm able to as I work to quickly dress the carcass. As I finish I glance at my hands and frown. I'm a bloody mess- literally. I sense more then see my instructor coming down into the ravine behind me.

"Are we done here?" I ask, grateful for my dark clothing and whipping the blood on my pants self consciously.

"For now Mara." he tells me. "I will have our guide collect the carcass. Tonight we will eat roast Gualamas. Perhaps if you are lucky the Emperor will have the hide made into a rug or blanket for you. Their fur is quite soft and luxurious." he says.

"I know." I respond softly, my hand still resting on the poor creature's side. My first big game hunt… my first kill on my own… taken with my own hands not a snare. I should feel a sense of pride, accomplishment… but all I can feel is shame in taking the majestic creature's life. Standing I follow my instructor back to camp, hoping to speak with my Master and gain some understanding. My Master is wise… he can answer my questions I'm sure.


	8. Stars

**Chapter 8: Stars**

**20 ABY**

**Luke Skywalker**

Watching as my wife checks and rechecks the assorted weapons on her ship for safety and maintenance, I wonder if there was ever a time she was not like this. Knowing how early her combat training started… her other training… I wonder if she had anything resembling a normal childhood at any point in her life. I understand her hesitation towards children of our own when I brought the subject up. Her childhood was certainly anything but conventional. I know she fears she will not be a good mother because of this. I know the warm, caring, passionate woman my wife is, and I know she will be a wonderful mother… but like with becoming a Jedi, I know she needs to figure this out on her own. Still, keeping the subject of her childhood in mind, I decide to ask her and get her thinking about it. "Mara?" I say. She looks up from sharpening a truly wicked looking blade of some kind.

"Yeah?" she asks, her eyes still focused on the blade.

"You said Palpatine started your training at 5, right?" I ask. She raises an eyebrow at me wondering where I am going with this but shrugs and answers.

"Yeah, why?" she asks, setting the blade back on it's hook and turning to face me fully. Probably not wanting a weapon in her hands when I am asking sensitive questions I realize.

"But he brought you to Imperial Palace when you were 2 or 3 right?" I ask. I can tell she's starting to catch where I'm going with this by the shift in her force sense, but she asks anyways.

"Mm yeah." she says "Wondering what happened during that time farm boy?" I nod and she sighs. "Life was pretty simple then. Palpatine understood I'd been through a pretty severe trauma, losing my family, so he left me mainly in the care of a woman who cared for most of the children of the Court."

"Children of the Court?" I ask. Somehow Imperial Court just didn't seem the place for kids.

"Children of Moffs, Lords, the Imperial Elite. I was the only child really allowed into the Court proper mind… the rest were confined to a daycare facility until they were of school age. I was _supposed_ to stay with them… but I always found ways to slip off and into the Throne Room." she explains.

"So you were allowed to be a kid for a little while?" I press. Mara shrugs.

"As much as any Imperial Elite child is ever allowed such. I still had lessons in protocol… not that I followed them much." she sighs. "I probably drove that poor woman up the wall with my forever slipping off, wanting to explore the Palace. I don't doubt Palpatine would of had her head if he knew just how often she lost me… especially after I discovered some of the secret passages. Come to think of it… she did just vanish one day and I was placed under the care of a droid… I wonder if I had anything to do with that." Mara muses out loud. I can feel a flicker of guilt from her, though she keeps her tone even. Pulling her into my arms I shake my head at her.

"You were a child Mara. What happened wasn't your fault." I tell her and she frowns at me.

"Perhaps." she sighs "Anyways, what's one more body on the hands of an assassin."

"Don't talk like that Mara." I sigh.

"Why not? It's the truth isn't it?" she argues, nodding towards the wall of weapons "I've killed someone with each of those weapons at least once… hold out blaster and lightsaber even more times. Being a Jedi now doesn't erase what I did. Anyways, isn't being a Jedi taking responsibly for ones actions?" she snaps and I sigh.

"Well, yes, but it's also about forgiving mistakes… and understanding what caused them. No one is perfect Mara." I say, frustrated at how the conversation has sidetracked as well as how stubborn my wife can be about things.

"No but I can sure those mistakes never happen again." she snaps back at me. "I know where you are going with this Luke, trying to prove somewhere deep inside me I can be a good mother, but I can't. I'm good at killing things. That's what I've done all my life. I can only remember one gift I got as a child which wasn't a tool for killing. One."

"Which was?" I ask curious.

"A falling star box. I have vague memories of breaking one… before Palpatine took me. He gave me one the first and only real birthday celebration he allowed me." she sighs. "I had that one til his death. I lost it when Isard took control of my ship and resources when she captured me. I only escaped with my lightsaber and blaster." she says.

"What happened to your lightsaber anyways? I figured you must of lost it escaping Imperial Palace. You didn't have it when you joined Karrde I know." I say. Mara sighs, but answers me.

"Isard tracked me down a couple years later. Sent someone named Lumiya after me. Woman was dark side trained and vicious. She tried to kill me, but failed. I lost my lightsaber though in that fight." I nod and silence falls between us, and Mara turns her attention back to weapons maintenance. It will be a long road, if ever I know, that she will move past this and consider a family of our own. I suppose I should be grateful I have Mara at least in my life. I can't help it wish for our family to grow… but I know she needs to heal more first.

**14 BBY**

**Emperor Palpatine**

I notice an amused smile cross the face of the Ambassador I am speaking with and wonder what could possibly be so entertaining about a trade dispute, when I catch a flash of red out of the corner of my eye. "And who have we here?" the Ambassador asks as Mara wanders up to him. Sighing at the child's growing number of disruptions, I motion to Mara.

"Well introduce yourself child, since you have been so rude as to interrupt." I tell her, a slight reprimand in my voice. She frowns for a moment then gives a small curtsy as she has been taught to, before extending her hand.

"My name is Mara Jade." she says to the man with a boldness uncommon in a child so young.

"And who do you belong to?" the Ambassador asks. Mara frowns and looks towards me, confused by the question, unsure how to answer. Frustrated I scoop her up so she sits on the throne with me.

"She is mine… well more or less. I found her orphaned and took her in." I explain, figuring it best to play this up a little since it's obvious the man has a fondness for children. A small measure of affection to the child serves both the purpose of securing the man's loyalties and Mara's, so foreign as it feels, it suits my needs. I'm a little surprised as Mara wraps her arms around me in a loose embrace like I'd seen many a child give a parent. It was rather disconcerting, but Mara seemed not to notice. The Ambassador was smiling however, so I shrugged off my discomfort with such innocent childish affection.

"I can't say I ever pictured you as a family man." the Ambassador admits. I give a shrug.

"It was never my intent to be… I have always been married to my work, to serving the galaxy." I admit. "However I found myself unable to say no to her plight somehow… and thus she is here."

"How long has she been with you?" the man asks.

"A little less than a standard year." I answer, trying to disentangle myself from Mara so I can send her back to where she should be.

"It will get easier in time." the Ambassador says, and I glance at him confused by the statement. Understanding my confusion he clarifies "Fatherhood that is… especially without a wife. My own wife was tragically taken from me, leaving me with two young children and a busy career. It's not easy to make work." he says. _If only you knew the half of it _I think darkly _you'd not be congratulating me… you'd be taking Mara far from here_. Still, pretences must be kept, so I force a genuine looking smile and nod.

"Perhaps." I say. Shifting my focus to Mara I address her "Now tell me child, what is so important you had to interrupt my work? What is it that couldn't wait til the end of the day?" I ask.

"What's a birthday?" she asks me. I can see the Ambassador looking at me, wondering why a child of Mara's age would not know this as well. Blasted child. I'm going to have to make a good show of this.

"It's a celebration of the day you were born." I explain as patiently as possible.

"Do I have a birthday?" she asks. I sigh. Children have a way of asking the most difficult questions at the worst times. It was so much easier with Maul. I was not in the spotlight so much as was able to raise and train him in secret, never needing to put up these pretences. Keeping my tone gentle for the sake of the man observing I take Mara's tiny hands in my withered ones and answer her.

"I suppose you do… though I don't know when it is. It's almost been a year since I found you.. would you like to make that day your birthday?" I ask her. She considers it for a moment then nods.

"Ok!" she says grinning. "Will there be a party?" she asks. I sigh and wonder if placing her with the other children was the best idea. Perhaps I should of had a nanny droid care for her in private rooms. Too late to change this, but I consider I should arrange that soon. Once she starts her training it will be essential anyways.

"A small one yes." I tell her, finally extracting myself from her and placing her back on the floor.

"And presents?" she asks excitedly, and despite my growing frustration with her I force a smile.

"If you behave." I tell her "Now run along. I have work to do. I assume you found your way here, you can find your way back?" I ask, and she nods and runs off towards the doors of the Throne room. Motioning to one of the Red Guards I instruct him to follow Mara and be sure she actually does go where she is supposed to and not into more trouble. The best of the best in combat and I am sending him after a toddler. Turning back to face the Ambassador I address him "Now where were we?" I ask, falling back into the tedious task of leading the galaxy and dealing with the never ending stream of complaints and disputes I must rule on.

As the days draw closer to Mara's birthday I curse ever agreeing to this. It's bad enough Mara's perpetual interruptions of my work… now I promised her a party and a gift. The party concerns me little. I will leave that in the hands of the stupid woman who put the idea in Mara's head in the first place. The gift… I have never given any gift to a child that isn't some form of weapon for them to train with. Though the idea of leaving a vibroblade with the nursemaid to give to Mara amuses me, there will be other children present and it would no doubt reflect poorly on my image. I won't attend of course. The idea of being surrounded with children horrifies me. Mara on her own is scarcely tolerable. Still, I promised her something… and if I wish to keep her loyal without resorting to forcing it by fear… it will need to be something special. Sifting through the memories I pulled from her when I found her I hit on an idea. A falling star box. The idea in mind now I locate a shop which carries one and have it delivered to the Palace neatly wrapped. I'm slightly appalled it's covered in garish pink paper when it arrives, but no matter. I summon the nursemaid into the Throne room and she enters nervously.

"My Lord." she says, bowing so deeply her nose almost touches the floor. Giving a frustrated grunt I signal for her to rise and approach. She does so hesitantly, and I feel my frustration mounting. When she reaches the throne I hold out the small pink box to her.

"Take this to Mara." I order the woman, who nervously takes the box from my hands.

"Of course my Lord." she says, bowing deeply. As she stands in place fidgeting I wonder if she is waiting to be dismissed. Touching her mind I realize she wishes to speak, but is too afraid to.

"You wish to ask something." I say to her. It's not a question. She nods and speaks reluctantly.

"It's uh… Mara wishes you to come to the party." she says trembling, and I laugh, causing the woman to jump.

"I have no interest in this foolish event. I've fulfilled my word to Mara. She can learn to accept that." I snap at the already cowering woman who retreats a few steps back from me.

"Of course Your Majesty. I meant no offence." she stammers.

"Go then, unless you have any further pointless requests to make." I say and she flinches at my tone.

"No Sire.. I'll go now. Thank you for your time." she says as she scurries from the room, leaving me alone to brood and curse my idea to ever try raise a new apprentice from childhood within these walls.

**14 BBY**

**Mara Jade**

A hush falls over the room as my nervously looking caretaker scurries in holding a small box. It's wrapped in a bright pink paper. I don't know why everyone is so quiet suddenly. A boy next to me watches the box awestruck. "You get a present from the Emperor himself? That's so wizard!" he says.

"Doesn't everyone?" I ask. The boy shakes his head wide eyed. I blink at that confused. Before I can ask him about it the caretaker places the paper covered box in my hands. I can tell she doesn't want me talking about the Emperor for some reason. Weird.

"Well, aren't you going to open it dear?" she asked me as I turn the box over in my hands. Finding the edge I peel back the paper and see a familiar shape underneath.

"A falling star box!" I say excited "I used to have one a long time ago… but I broke it." I say as I study the small box.

"Well don't break this one." my caretaker tells me anxiously.

"I won't." I promise, hoping I can keep my word not to. "Can I go thank him?" I ask. The caretakers eyes widen, as do several of the adults in the room.

"No Mara, he's very busy. You must wait until he tells you to come to him and not bother him." she admonishes me. I frown.

"But I _like_ playing in the Throne Room. He saved me, why doesn't he want to see me?" I ask. I can see my caretaker is clearly stressed by my questions and struggling for answers. Why is everyone looking at me so funny?

"He's very busy Mara." she repeats, and I frown. I know they aren't telling me everything. Why are they so nervous of him? He's always been nice to me. Strict, but nice. "How about we go have some cake now." my caretaker says. It's obvious she's trying to distract me, but arguing gets me nowhere. Maybe tomorrow I will slip off and go visit the Emperor and thank him when there is not so many people around to get away from. Setting the box on the table carefully so I don't break it I sigh.

"Fiiiinnneee…." I say, drawing the word out "Lets have cake. I'll thank him another time." I tell her, making my way over to the table where the cake sits. I know I'm sulking a little, but I thought he would come. Sometimes I wonder why he bothered to save me when he wants nothing to do with me. Pushing the thought from my mind I focus on the cake and trying to have fun. That's what you are supposed to do at parties isn't it? So why does no one seem to be having fun here. Maybe it's me. Maybe that's why he doesn't want to see me. Glancing at the falling star box I shake my head. No, that's not true. He's just busy is all. He wouldn't have got me such a pretty thing if he didn't care about me. I'm sure of it.


	9. Tensions

_A/N: Sorry for the long delay in updating this. I've been a bit stuck for ideas. Rereading Allegience sparked the idea for the first part and the rest kinda flowed from there. Since I know a few Luke haters follow this- enjoy ;)_

**Chapter 9: Tensions**

**2 ABY**

**Mara Jade**

I can see Vader standing in the door way, and even if I couldn't, his brooding presence in the Force is impossible to miss. Still I ignore him. Perhaps if I ignore him long enough he will go away and leave me to work in peace. No such luck I realize as he strides over towards me. Grabbing my data pad I make a move to leave, still pretending I haven't noticed him, but his booming voice freezes me. "Emperor's Hand." he all but yells at me.

"What is it Lord Vader? Can't you see I'm busy?" I snap back. Probably not the best move with the increasingly homicidal Sith Lord, but I really can't be bothered with him right now.

"I have heard you are researching Skywalker." Vader says. I shrug, no sense denying it.

"I am." I respond, edging my hand towards my lightsaber, lest he attack me again. I don't _think_ he'll be stupid enough to attack me within the walls of Imperial Palace so close to our Master… but I'm not going to bet on it.

"Leave it be Jade. Skywalker is mine." he snaps. I _should_ just leave it, let him think he won and go back to my work… but the urge to remind him that in our Master's eyes we are equals, even if Vader himself doesn't see it that way kicks in. I'm tired of him bossing me around.

"Not according to our Master who requested I look into the Rebel Skywalker." I tell him tersely. I can feel his rage brewing, and though I suspect it's aimed more at our Master for giving me a task Vader wanted, I'm also keenly aware I'm the one in striking distance.

"I will speak with him about this manner, but for now I am ordering you to leave it be Jade." he growls at me. Risky a move as it is, I know I can't back down now. If I do Vader will never respect me. Respect must be earned… isn't that what my Master is always telling me?

"I only take orders from only one person Vader, and it's not you. It never will be." I respond haughtily, echoing the words he once said to me. As I do I feel an invisible iron fist closing around my throat. Surely he wouldn't dare… apparently he would I realize as the Force grip tightens around my neck and I feel myself lifted off the ground.

"You would be wise to listen to your superiors Jade…" he tells me, his voice low and ominous as I try fight against the grip and push back with the Force. It's of no use. Though my own powers of telepathy outmatch Vader's any day… his power with telekinesis definitely bests mine. I'm getting dizzy from lack of air, but I'm not going to let him win.

"You know… our Master is just down the hall… I can call to him…" I remind Vader, regretting the length of my threat as it's used up most of my air and I'm dangerously close to passing out. Abruptly the grip lets go as Vader finally comes to his senses. My knees buckle and I fall to the floor heaving for breath.

"This isn't over Jade." he warns me.

"Our Master _will_ hear about this." I warn in response.

"As will he hear about your insolence Jade." he snaps back, striding off down the halls before I have a chance to retort. Still struggling to catch my breath, I haul myself upright, leaning against the terminal I had been using to search on. What the kriff is with Vader and Skywalker? He is _obsessed_. This is the second time he has tried to kill me over him. What happened to the man who carried me to the med ward, worried about my injuries I wonder. Ever since he learned of this Skywalker he has become increasingly obsessed to the point of insanity. I know he has a temper… but I would not have believed him so homicidal… at least not with me. What changed? I realize I am going to have to tread very carefully as I get to the bottom of this. I don't doubt my Master would punish Vader severely if he killed me… but I'm realizing Vader might just take that chance one day and give in to his murderous moods with me. I debate going back to my work, but with Vader just down the hall I decide not to tempt fate. Collecting my data pad I made my way to my quarters, waiting for my Master to summon me. I've no doubt he will after he's done dealing with Vader. For now however, I want to be as far out of Vader's range as possible. I can still feel his rage from down the hall. I hate backing down, but there's no satisfaction in being right if you are dead.

**20 ABY**

**Luke Skywalker**

As I sit waiting for my wife to calm down I wonder if we didn't make a mistake rushing into marriage the way we did. I have no regrets about marrying her… but the whole living together thing is an adjustment for both of us. Adding in the tension from my jealousy over her lingering feelings towards Palpatine, and her temper… sooner or later things were bound to explode. Han warned me there would be nights like this, kicked to the couch because of a fight… however Leia was never as hot headed as Mara is. Unable to sleep with Mara's fuming still broadcasting clearly across our bond, I sip my hot chocolate and reflect on what lead up to this.

_Earlier that evening…_

"Hey Mara?" I called to my wife. She eyed me suspiciously, no doubt picking up on my inquisitive mood, but gave a sigh and responded.

"Yes Luke?" she answered warily. I probably should have respected her mood in retrospect, but at the time my curiosity once again got the better of me.

"You knew my father didn't you?" I asked her. Mara frowned at that. She seemed even more reluctant to talk about Vader than she did about Palpatine.

"Yeah, kinda unavoidable given our positions." she answered non-commitally, clearly itching to change the subject. You would think I would have learned my lesson by now that when she is keeping something from me it's best not to press the issue… but I did anyways.

"Will you tell me about him? What he was like?" I asked. Mara pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"You really don't want to know what I think about your father Luke. Trust me on this." she responds. I should let it go, but with all leads on who my mother was coming to a dead end, and Vader long dead… Mara was the last link I had to anyone who knew my family.

"Please Mara… I don't think I am ever going to find my mother… and I knew my father for only minutes before he died…" I plead with her. Abruptly she slams down the glass in her hand on the table.

"You want to know what I think of your father? He was miserable, rude, and unpleasant, and that was when he wasn't being homicidal." she snaps at me. I'm stunned. I know he was a Sith, but surely he wasn't all that bad. I voice this to Mara.

"He wasn't like that all the time though, right? I mean I know he killed fleet officers, but surely with you-" before I can finish Mara cuts me off.

"With me? Don't be naive farm boy. He was as homicidal with me as the rest. The only reason I wasn't cleaved in two when he was hunting for you was because I figured out his optical sensors had a delay, which gave me enough time to get out of dodge after flipping off the lights and let him calm down and realize we had different targets on the same planet. Oh hey, and lets not forget the time he tried to choke the life out of me because he didn't like my tone… or the fact he stood by watching impassively after giving me a near lethal dose of spice as part of a punishment and detoxed me. He couldn't kriffing care about anyone but himself." Mara spat, bristling with rage. "Once I became Emperor's Hand, your father was unpleasant at best. I _hated_ having to cross paths with him." she growled.

"I don't believe you Mara. I think you are just trying to avoid talking about your feelings again." I goaded her.

"Get over yourself farm boy. Your father was an ass and I see you take after him" Mara snapped. That was a low blow. I should have left to cool off but I wasn't going to let her have the last word.

"I take after him? You married me Mara. Is that what you are keeping from me? What were you kriffing half the Imperial navy?" I spat at her. I regretted the words as soon as they left my mouth, but the damage was done. I could feel hurt and rage radiating from her and knew I had gone too far.

"You really think so little of me Skywalker?" she asks quietly. There is still anger but her tone is more hurt than rage.

"Mara I-" I tried to apologize but she was in no mood to hear it… and honestly I can't blame her. My words went beyond cold. I knew they cut to the core. Even without our bond I would know how deeply my words hurt. It was written clearly across Mara's face.

"Shove it Skywalker. Just kriff off." she snapped as she stalked off to the room, shutting the door behind her. I try reach out in the force, but I slam against a mental wall. _"Leave me alone Skywalker."_ her voice snaps in my head. I can hear she is crying and I long to comfort her, but I know until she cools down it will only make things worse. Where did those words even come from? How could I have said such horrible things? My guilt is overwhelming as I realize the damage I've done. Sighing I debate what to do. Eventually I decide I should leave the apartment and give Mara some space as I hear her smash something against the door of our bedroom in her anger. It's going to be a while before she has calmed down enough to talk… and I have a hunch I'd better be there with flowers when she is. Grabbing the comm I call Han. I need advise badly.

"Hey kid what's up?" Han's voice comes over the comm. As he takes a look at my face he knows "Had a fight eh? Why don't you meet me at that new cantina?" he suggests. I nod.

"I'll meet you there." I tell him.

When I return to the apartment I carefully stretch out in the force to gage Mara's mood. I can still feel anger and hurt from her, but I can tell she's calmer. I realize she's in a meditation to try take the edge off her rage. Cautiously I knock on the door to our room, not sure of the reception I'm going to get. "Mara?" I call softly.

"Come in." she responds. As the door slides open I can see she's sitting cross legged on the bed, her eyes shut, taking calming breaths.

"Mara I'm sorry… I don't know what came over me." I sigh as I sit next to her. She cracks an eye open at me as I do.

"I do. You've been jealous and with that you've been letting the dark side in… I was expecting this sooner or later." she tells me bluntly. As her eyes drift to the bouquet in my hands I hand it to her, feeling for all the world like an awkward farm boy.

"I uh… got you these as an apology." I mumble.

"I appreciate the gesture Skywalker… but you really need to deal with your issues." she tells me. Always direct Mara is.

"I know." I sigh. Taking in her words I realize something "You knew I was touching the dark side… how did you feel it when I didn't?" I ask. She shrugs, setting the flowers on the night table.

"I lived around the dark side a lot longer then I have been around the light. I know how darkness feels." she explains "I also knew you had to cross a line to realize it was an issue… I just didn't think it would hurt me so much." Mara sighs. I bury my face in my hands, faced with the horrible truth. Some Jedi Master I was. Picking up on my thoughts Mara shakes her head. "You're human Luke… everyone makes mistakes." she says softly. "I know… but what I said… it was beyond cold… it was downright cruel. I'm horrified I could even think to say such things Mara." I tell her. Sighing and leaning her forehead against mine, I can feel her send a small tendril of reassurance.

"I'm not going to say everything is ok Luke… it's not. We'll get through this… I need space though. I'm not still mad.. well maybe a little… but I just-" Mara fumbles to explain, but I know. I understand.

"I can sleep on the couch." I tell her and she nods.

"Night Luke." she says, touching my hand softly before returning to her meditation. Sadly I make my way to the closet where we keep the spare linens and grab a blanket and pillow. Mara is entirely focused on her meditation and ignoring me. Probably for the best. I know all couples have fights sooner or later… but stang it hurts to be cut off from her like this. Still whats done is done now. All we can do is work through it like anyone else.

**13 BBY**

**Emperor Palpatine**

I am at my wits end with this child. It will be a small mercy if I do not kill her soon. I am getting too old for this. Mara has managed to evade her caretakers and trainers and find her way into the Throne Room again. Though it had been my hope she would trust in me… this had become absurd. I try ignoring her, pressing a button silently to summon for her trainers to take her back and beat some sense into her. I don't want to be the one to discipline her. Not when I want her absolute trust in me… but there is only so much a man can take, Sith Lord or not. "Enough!" I finally snap at her, my voice booming across the Throne Room. Mara freezes in her tracks then starts to cry.

"I'm sorry… I just.. I just…" she whimpers. Where the kriff are her trainers? I don't have time for this. Seeing they aren't going to come fast enough I sigh and put on my very best sympathetic face in light of the situation, though I'm sure it's more of a grimace at this point.

"I'm sorry Mara. I'm just very busy. When you always interrupt it means I have less time to teach you about the Force. You don't want that do you?" I ask her. Her eyes widen as she wipes away her tears and she shakes her head.

"N-no Master." she says. Well at least she's starting to learn proper address. That's something.

"Well that is what happens. Because I need to waste time now while I wait for your trainers to come collect you I won't be able to teach you today Mara." I tell her. She pouts and I fear she is going to cry again and I will end up killing her. I am never taking on a child as an apprentice again. It has it's merits, but it is not worth the headache. I hear a huff and a sigh as Mara sits at my feet with her arms crossed.

"Well I guess that's fair." she sighs. I'm about to breath a sigh of relief that something is getting through this brat's head when she speaks again. "Does that mean if I work extra hard in my lessons and don't bother you you'll spend more time teaching me?" she asks. I pause and consider it.

"Perhaps if you behave and I am not busy." I tell her at last. She sits pondering that. Such an inquisitive little thing she it. It's both endearing and obnoxious. Still, it might be beneficial if it gets her to pay attention and obey orders for once, out of a desire for the knowledge I hold. She's mercifully quiet for a minute while she considers this. Just as a settle back in the throne to ignore her, her voice pipes up again.

"Can you teach me now… while we wait?" she asks.

"No Mara, you have misbehaved… _again_. The thing you must learn above all else is to obey. I will never reward disobedience." I tell her sternly. "Do you understand this?" I ask her. She nods.

"I understand Master." she says as her trainer arrives to collect her at last.

"My apologies Your Highness… I don't know how she escaped." the man says nervously. I wave a dismissive hand at him.

"Just take her and see it doesn't happen again." I tell him. He grabs Mara's wrist and pulls her quickly from the room, eager to be out of my presence before I change my mind and punish him. It will be nothing short of a miracle if this child survives long enough to be trained. I can only hope she has learned a lesson today and will take what I told her to heart


	10. Incorrigible

_A/N: Wheeee another chapter. This chapter is dedicated to the person who has been with me and encouraged me from the beginning pretty much and is the main reason I didn't abandon this fic. Happy Birthday __**DarthObsydian**__! What better present than an extra update of your preferred fic? :D This chapter was inspired by some goofing around with a friend which lead to be being called incorrigible. I found it such a fun word I decided to write a chapter around it. XD_

**Chapter 10: Incorrigible**

**3ABY**

**Emperor Palpatine**

As I see Mara's broken body carried in on a stretcher I fear the worst for a moment, but I can still sense her presence in the Force. Shrapnel covers most of her body and her right arm is bent at an unnatural angle. Hundred of others are wounded or dead too, but I care not about them. I had sent Mara to ensure the convoy make it's way safely to Coruscant and that any problems that might arise in transporting the new technology were handled professionally and efficiently. I had not counted on the Rebels having armed themselves with new weaponry. Admitted it was beneficial, as one of their new ships had been captured for further study… but not before Admiral Zaarin's ships had taken heavy damage. Making my way over to Zaarin amid the carnage I address him. "What happened Admiral Zaarin?" I ask him. Startled he quickly drops into a bow.

"Highness, I didn't see you there." he mutters a quick apology.

"Rise. I wish to know what happened. The Rebel fleet was destroyed were they not? How did we sustain such casualties?" I ask.

"A new fighter used by the Rebels… it took a few attempts to destroy them… they had torpedoes… which hit some of our ships before we could react. One of the ships lost a large section of the hull… anyone within range of that blast was injured.

"Why was she on the escort ship? She was supposed to be on the main research vessel." I ask, motioning to Mara.

"We had some problems with the engines on that ship. She boarded it to make repairs. I thought she was just a hyperdrive tech?" Zaarin says, a question in his voice.

"She is a project of mine." I say, not bothering to explain further.

"My apologies my Lord… I didn't know." Zaarin stammers. I wave a dismissive hand at him and make my way over to the doctor treating Mara.

"What is her prognosis?" I ask. The medic is clearly startled by my presence but has enough common sense to stay focused on the task at hand instead of falling into stressing over formalities. It's a professional attitude I can appreciate.

"Your Highness, I didn't expect to see you here. She will need surgery to remove all the metal and set her bones, and probably a week of bacta treatments after that, but she will survive." the medic assures me. Hesitating for a moment before continuing he speaks again "I would advise you take her off active duty for at least a week following her treatments. Bacta can do wonderful things, but with her medical history… I have some concerns." Though nervous at the idea of telling _me_ what I should do with my Hand, the medic does his duty, advising me as he would any commanding officer. That I am the Emperor and Mara one of my personal agents does not matter to him… he maintains strict professionalism. I like it.

"I will see what can be arranged. Keeping her on rest may be difficult however, given the nature of her training." I remind the man who cracks a slight smile. He had seen Mara many times over the years and treated both injuries from punishments and missions alike, and understands my meaning.

"I could provide you with some sedatives Your Highness." he proposes. I shake my head.

"That won't be necessary." I tell him. "Let me know once she is out of surgery and awake." I say before leaving. Perhaps it is unwise to show such favouritism, but I care little what others think now. I have invested far too much in Mara at this point to lose her to incompetent treatments.

When my comm beeps several hours later to let me know Mara is awake, I make my way down to the med ward and into the private room which has been assigned to her under my orders to grant me space to visit her and check her progress without interruption. As I enter her room she turns and smiles at me "Master." she says brightly.

"You had me worried Mara." I tell her keeping my tone soft, though I am mildly annoyed she ended up here because she went against orders. Now it not the time to berate her, foolish though her actions were.

"Sorry Master." she says, bowing her head.

"I am just relieved you will make a full recovery. I would hate to lose you Mara." I tell her, projecting concern. Inwardly I think about what a nightmare it was to get her trained so perfectly and that I don't think I can ever manage that again.

"I don't mean to worry you Master." she says as I sit by her side, stroking her hair back.

"I know you don't Mara… you are just so special to me. The doctors tell me you will need to rest from duty for a while after your treatments. Will you do that for me?" I ask her, throwing as much concern into my voice as I can muster. She sighs, devoted to her work as she is. However devoted to her duty she is however, she is devoted to me first. My project is a success for the most part.

"I will do it for you Master." she says. "Would you permit me to stay with you?" she asks. I pause to consider that. I will have to make arrangements to ensure she does not see anything she should not in that time. It would not do to have her learn of my other Hands. Still I have a week to prepare so it's not impossible. A week's delay is a minor inconvenience in light of keeping Mara's perfect blind loyalty to me.

"I believe that can be arranged." I tell her. "Rest now and heal my dear. I will return for you when you are done your treatments." I tell her.

"I look forward to it Master." she says as I make my way out of the room.

"As do I." I tell her as I leave. I'm honestly not sure if I mean it or not. Though I enjoy her company I'm not sure the idea of having her underfoot for a week thrills me. It will be interesting to see which of us grows restless first certainly anyways.

**20 ABY**

**Luke Skywaker**

Though utterly miserable with the cold that Leia's children had managed to pass to her, Mara was steadfastly refusing any help from me and it was driving me insane. "Mara will you please rest and let me bring you some soup in bed?" I beg her.

"No, I can do it myself. Anyways you are a terrible cook when it comes to soups." she snaps back at me, though it's not nearly as threatening as she usually is in this sort of mood, congested as she is.

"Will you at least let me run you a hot bath to relax in… the steam will help." I suggest.

"Will you get off my case if I say yes?" she asks. I sigh. If there is one thing Mara is not good at, it's being sick or incapacitated in some way. Making my way into the 'fresher unit I start a hot bath running, adding scented oils to help, leaving my agitated wife to make the soup. She is partly right. She's definitely a better cook than me, having spent far more time on her own, and having learned from actual cooks… not Jedi Masters on swamp planets I think to myself ruefully. As the tub fills I call to Mara.

"Bath is ready." I tell her. I hear some muttered curses before she calls back to me.

"I'm not a child Luke. Soup is cooking. Just… try not to burn it." she sighs, reluctantly leaving me to finish cooking the food. "And don't you dare add any of those weird plants to it." she warns. Bleary eyed and sniffling though she is, I know to take a threat from my wife seriously.

"I wouldn't dream of it dear." I respond as I make my way towards the kitchen, pleased with my victory that she is finally letting me help a little.

_"I heard that Skywalker." _she says mentally_ "If you are going to gloat you'd better shield."_ she chides.

_"Yes Ma'am" _I respond, giving her a mental image of a salute. Though she's annoyed at my gloating, I can feel amusement from her at that. I can feel some of the tension ease out of her as she settles into the warm water. I know she doesn't especially like me keeping tabs on her through our bond, but since she won't give me a truthful answer as to how she's really feeling, just telling me she's fine, I do it anyways to ease my own mind. Though my protective nature annoys her at times, she understands at least it comes from a place of caring and allows me this much without protest. Finishing up the soup I pour some into a dish and set it on a tray with some hot tea and make my way into the 'fresher. "Brought you dinner." I say.

"What no nerf steaks?" she teases lightly.

"Someone wanted soup… and didn't want to trust her husband to cook anything else. Who could that be I wonder?" I say and she laughs and splashes some of the water at me, laughing harder as I flinch at it.

"Such a desert dweller. Scared of water." she says shaking her head at me.

"I'm not scared of water… I just don't like being splashed with it." I protest.

"Then why don't you prove it and join me in here instead of sitting next to the tub jumping at water droplets?" she proposes, a mischievous grin on her face. Clearly the heat and oils have helped.

"You're still sick Mara. I don't think me getting in there is going to lead to anything relaxing for you."

"Pfttt… I feel fine right now. It's just a silly little cold anyways. Not like it's anything serious anyways. Come on farm boy… you said you wanted to take care of me…" she let her voice trail off suggestively and I groaned.

"That wasn't quiet what I had in mind Mara." I tell her, shaking my head. "What about your soup?" I ask.

"We can heat it later…" she suggests and I sigh, pulling off my tunic and pants.

"You are incorrigible Mara… utterly incorrigible." I sigh as I slide into the warm water and she shifts herself towards me.

"And you wouldn't have it any other way farm boy." she says as she kisses me.

**3 ABY**

**Mara Jade**

I know I promised I would rest… but it's hard when he is not here. The chambers seem so vast and empty and I long for something to do. The only time I have ever sat so idle is times I've been in hospital.. and there at least the sedatives make the time seem to pass faster. I try tell myself a week is only a short time… but I am bored. Bored bored bored. I hate just sitting here waiting for him to return from his duties as Emperor, but it's what I have been ordered to do so I endure. So caught up in my restless pacing am I, I don't notice my Master's return until his gentle hand on my waist stills my movement. Turning to face him I wrap my arms around him. "You're back early!" I exclaim excited. Sensing his discomfort with my enthusiasm I wonder if I have done something wrong. "Is something wrong Master?" I ask. He sighs and settles on the couch, pouring a glass of wine.

"I am tired my dear is all. I am afraid I lack your youthful energy." he says.

"Oh." I respond, somewhat crestfallen. Taking in my unmasked disappointment he motions for me to join him on the couch. As I settle next to him, he wraps an arm over me and I curl into his side. We sit together silently like this for a while, just enjoying each other's presence. Just as I start to fully relax and begin to drift off, his voice brings me to wakefulness.

"I do have some good news for you my dear." he says.

"Oh? What news?" I ask.

"I spoke with your doctor and they have cleared you to return to light duty. There is a ball I would like you to attend tomorrow." he tells me. "You can also return to your quarters." he says.

"Oh." I respond, feeling a bit stung. Why do I feel like he doesn't want me here? Picking up on my hurt he clarifies.

"You will stay here tonight… and you are always welcome in my bed… but I thought you might enjoy your own space back since you seem restless here." he explains, and I bow my head sheepishly.

"You sensed that huh?" I ask and he laughs setting his wine glass down and brushing his hand across my cheek.

"I can always feel your thoughts my dear." he tells me. "Come." he says, standing and taking my hand to guide me back into the bed chamber. As we reach the bed he shrugs his outer robes off, but makes no move to remove anything else. Perhaps he is tired… but my mood is still playful as he sits on the edge of the bed to remove his boots. Reaching out with the Force to where I know the hidden music player is, I turn it on and once I am sure I have his attention on me begin to dance. As the dance ends, I settle myself on his lap, nipping his collar bone lightly. He laughs and tilts my head up to kiss me. "You are incorrigible my dear." he says, running his hands down my back and shaking his head.

"You enjoy it though." I say, grinning.

"Perhaps." he says, "But I'm afraid my dear I don't have your stamina or energy, much as I appreciate it." he sighed. Taking in my crestfallen expression he shook his head lightly "But for you my dear I shall try." he says, giving a small smile and shifting me so I lay beneath him. "Incorrigible woman you are." he adds as he kisses me. As our bodies move in a rhythm as old as time, I consider maybe might find being called incorrigible to be an insult… but I'm taking it as a compliment… after all, why change when you can bring the one you love joy as you are


	11. Duty

A/N: Oh look an update! I have not forgot this fic. I'm working mainly on Alliances and another project which I hope to have up soon, but I work on this as time permits. Thanks to those who have taken the time to review this. :)

**Duty**

**12 BBY**

**Palpatine**

Mara has gone missing- _again_. Certainly her skill for vanishing into the Palace and slipping around unseen will prove useful in future, but for the moment it is nothing more than a headache. I killed the trooper who had been in charge of watching her for his negligence, but I was still left with the issue of finding the child. Teaching her to mask her presence in the Force had clearly been a mistake. I'd wanted to be able to hide her presence from Vader so he was less aware of my exact intent for her… but now she used it against me. For one so young she had mastered the technique surprisingly well. There were of course ways in which I could call upon the Dark Side to seek her out, but to do so would be unpleasant for her and I wished her loyalty and trust in me above all else. No, that would not do. Sighing I wandered through her usual hiding spots, looking for her. Finally I felt a small flicker in the Force. Lightly touching her mind I determined she had fallen asleep. Using the light contact in the Force I followed it back to the source. Of course. She dozed against the foot of the throne, a black cloak wrapped around her as a blanket, almost blending in, save the shock of red curls peaking out from under the hood. Forcing down my anger with the little brat as I approached her, I gathered her up to take her back to the care of the nanny droids and made a mental note to install locks on the doors of her quarters. As I scooped her up in my arms, not trusting anyone else with the task lest they lose her again, she stirred and blinked at me with sleepy green eyes.

"Was waiting for you." she mumbles tiredly.

"You were supposed to be in your room child." I remind her sharply as I set her down. If she was awake she could walk. Her full physical training would begin soon and it would not do to have her used to being coddled.

"But… I wanted to learn more about the Force." she protests.

"What have I told you about lessons child?" I ask and she pouts.

"Only if I behave and do as I am told." she says. "But… you said you wanted me to learn how to be sneaky." she reasons, and I curse inwardly. Force give me the strength not to kill this child. It's childish logic, but rational enough I know I am going to have to explain things if I am to make any progress with improving her obedience. Giving a sigh I respond.

"Yes, but I wish you to learn such skills to help me deal with those who might harm the peace I have brought- not use them against me. Do you understand?" I ask. She gives a small huff but nods.

"I understand Master." she sighs. "I just wanted to show you how good I was getting at it. I've been practising hard." she says. I grit my teeth as I debate how best to respond to her. Her human caretaker before I had them executed and transferred her care to a droid had encouraged her inquisitive nature and had been prone to praising every little skill Mara demonstrated. Both proved equally obnoxious traits to manage. Mara regularly sought reassurance and recognition for her achievements. Despite my best efforts to discourage it, the trait only seemed to be strengthening. It had a merit in once she was trained and an active agent it would make her less prone to impulsive decisions, but in the meantime it only served to vex me as she continually sought me out. Her voice startled me from my thoughts suddenly. "Do you ever get lonely Master?" she asked. Of course, that's what this was about.

"No, and you shouldn't either." I tell her and she looks at me confused and a bit stung. Well I suppose as we make our way back to her room is as good a time as any for this lesson. "You see we can talk to the Force… and the Force is everywhere. You are never alone child with the Force as your ally." I tell her. She is mercifully silent for a while as she considers this.

"I guess…" she sighs at last. "But it's not the same as having a friend." I don't respond, hoping she will take a hint and abandon such foolish thoughts on her own. Her next words make it clear I have a problem. "Will you be my friend?" she asks with perfect child innocence. Dear force where did I go wrong with her? Though I wish her trust in me, I can not have her entertaining such weak feelings as friendship. Not when I will have her killing in cold blood. Emotional bonds such as friendship are a luxury I can not grant her.

"No." I tell her firmly. She starts to pout and loath to have her cry I grit my teeth and explain. "Friends weaken you. You can not achieve the greatness you are destined for if friendships distract you. Total devotion to duty Mara." I say, and watch as she mulls that over.

"Duty." she repeats as she works it out in her mind "Duty is more important than anything else?" she asks.

"For those of us born to power, it is a sacrifice we must make." I tell her, giving a tired sigh for effect. "It is our blessing and our curse, but it is our birthright. It's what your parents would have wanted for you/" I add, lightly touching her mind to be sure the comment has the right effect on her. It does. A mixture of sadness and a fierce sense of honour fills her.

"I understand Master. Thank you for explaining it to me." she says. Hopefully I will have no further issues from her on this matter. She seems to comprehend quite well my words, and though perhaps too independent at times, appears to be trainable without resorting to the risky enslavement surgery. An interesting experiment to say the least.

**10 BBY**

**Mara Jade**

He's so fast! So skilled! I don't think I can ever be as good as him. I know I can't. But I try my hardest for my Master as he shows me the various lightsaber forms time and time again. I practice on my own too, but it's no good. I am just not that skilled. He told me his Master had him learn all the forms, and I will eventually do the same. A part of me wants to ask where his Master is now, but something stops me. He has told me to trust when the Force tells me to do something- or not do something… so I listen to it's prodding not to ask him about his Master. He is patient as he shows me the same move again and again as I parry against the air, trying to mirror his movements. Abruptly he raises a hand signalling for me to stop and I know I kriffed up the move again.

"Perhaps you would do better under a more applied form of training." he says, moving to stand in front of me. I look up at him, confused. Isn't this applied?

"What do you mean Master?" I ask, tilting my head slightly.

"Do you trust me?" he asks. I am confused by the question. Of course I trust him! He rescued me and has kept me safe. I tell him as much.

"Of course I trust you Master! Why would I not?" I ask. A strange smile crosses his face for a moment.

"Why indeed?" he asks before his expression turns serious once more. "I think it would benefit you to practice against an opponent." he explains. It's then I realize why he asks if I trust him. He's asking me to spar with him. As I swallow nervously I can feel his light touch on my mind. "Perhaps you are not ready for this." he sighs.

"No! I can do this!" I blurt out. I don't want to fail him. I want to prove myself a worthy apprentice. Hesitating a moment I ask "Will we be using practice sabers?" They hurt if they hit you certainly, but one doesn't risk losing a limb to them. I've learned that much about lightsabers at least.

"No. You will not be motivated enough with a practice saber. I want you to call on the Force as I have taught you. Remember your forms, but let the Force guide your actions not your mind." he instructs me. With no warning he ignites his lightsaber and swings it down towards me. Leaping backwards as fast as I can I ignite my own saber he has given me. His moves are blindingly fast and I struggle just to keep up with parrying them. I am flying on instinct alone. Half my forms fall apart as I struggle just to keep up. "Call on the Force. Use the Force not your senses child. Your senses can mislead you." he instructs. Leaping and using my momentum to carry me as far from him as possible I gain myself the time to find my connection to the Force. Let it guide my motion. I only have a split second before his blade is once again swinging towards my head. A flicker of fear goes through me, but I push it down. I trust him to react fast enough not to kill me should I fail to block a swing. Apparently aware of my thoughts he instructs me further. "Do not imagine failure. To imagine failing is to invite it in." he says.

"I'm trying Master." I sigh. Just as suddenly as it was ignited, he deactivates his lightsaber and I follow suit.

"So you are child." he says. "I must leave now, but continue to practice your forms Mara."

"Can you not spend a little longer? I am sure I almost have it now!" I protest. Todays session has not gone well and I don't want him to leave when I am fail- doing poorly. I know I can do better. I'm better than this.

"No Mara, my duty as the Emperor calls." he tells me firmly.

"Why is everything about duty?" I sigh, and he pats me on the head.

"Do you remember what I told you child?" he asks. Frowning at him I respond remembering the words well.

"It is our blessing and curse, the price we pay for the power we wield." I respond mechanically.

"There is your answer." he says before turning to leave. I know I'm being petchulant as he calls it, but I don't care. I want an answer that isn't just automatic. A real reason. Trailing him as he makes his way from the training room towards the Throne Room, I try get his attention.

"Master, who decided it is our duty to keep the galaxy safe and peaceful?" I ask, but he ignores me. Trying again I press on "Please Master. I want to understand why things are how they are." I explain. Still no answer. Only as we reach the Throne Room does he finally turn to regard me.

"There are things I would have preferred to shelter you from child but since you ask… come here." he commands and I obey. He places a hand on my head as I kneel before him. Suddenly my mind is filled with chaos… war and death… children orphaned… I blink back tears as I see the scene unfold, powerless to stop the wanton destruction. Finally his point made he withdraws from my mind and the future I saw fades once more into shadow. "You see child… that is a galaxy where those who have duty do not fulfill it." he says and I shudder. I can not ever let such horrible things happen. I will serve my Master to the best of my ability always from now on. I understand now it is my duty to protect the people. I will not complain again, now I know the cost for failure I promise myself.

**20 ABY**

**Luke Skywalker**

I sigh as I hear the crash and stomping from our room. Mara clearly saw my note. Charging out with a piece of flimsi brandished in her hand she snaps at me "The kriff is all this about? You know there is no kriffing way I'm doing this right?".

"Leia begged me. I'm not totally thrilled either but.. it's for the Republic." I try imploring her. It's not working.

"Look, I'll go to balls, do the whole diplomatic thing, but I am not wearing a kriffing robe and going as a Jedi. That's not me Luke." she says with a huff.

"But it is Mara, you're a Jedi. You can't keep denying that part of you." I try argue with her. Wrong thing to say. She is fuming with me, but manages to shut her eyes and blow out some calming breaths before answering.

"I don't deny my Force heritage… for better or for worse. You've seen me though. I am all for fighting for what is right… but that serene Jedi emotionless code? I can't follow that Luke. I don't think anyone can entirely… but me especially. It's still too easy for me to touch the Dark Side. I can't go up there and represent the Jedi." she argues.

"Mara you lived with the Dark Side and never fell to it. You used it, but you never let it claim you. I was trained as a Jedi and I still fell. If you are going to argue Dark Side use disqualifies you, I'm going to argue I've done a lot worse than you on that front." I argue back. She pinches the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"Yeah you came back from it, that's my point Skywalker. I never stopped. I mean I'm not full on Sith or anything… but I don't think I'm a Jedi either." Mara explains. I sigh. She has a point. I love her for the fiery independent woman she is… but she isn't totally wrong that image doesn't sit well with the ideal image of a Jedi. Still though, we have a duty to Leia and the Republic.

"Please Mara? It's important to Leia that the Jedi stand as a united front. This is what we fought for." I said, and regret the words as soon as I say them.

"This is what _you_ fought for. I was on the other side of the war remember?" she reminds me sharply. Sighing I know I am not going to win with her this way. She regards me with a raised brow, no doubt sensing my change in mood.

"What if you don't need to wear the robe?" I offer. She scoffs at me in response. "I'm serious Mara. We are the ones forming the New Jedi Order, so I think that gives us some say in what goes and what doesn't." I say. She sits down on the sofa and I follow suit. Pausing to consider her words carefully before she speaks, she tries to explain her thoughts.

"It's not just about what I wear… though I will say those robes are kriffing unflattering."

"I think you look lovely in anything… or nothing." I say with a wink and my wife tosses a pillow at me.

"You're biased farm boy." she grumbles.

"Oh yeah, why don't we ask Lando or the Rogues?" I tease and she laughs.

"Oh yeah that will end well Skywalker. They're damned no matter how they answer. Either they end up in bantha poodoo with their wives, or insult me." she points out and I laugh.

"Guess we were kinda the last ones to get married." I sigh. "But back to the topic at hand… I have a duty to the Republic I helped create.. to the Jedi Order. You don't have to be there Mara… but it would mean a lot if you were… to the Republic, the Jedi.. and to me." I tell her seriously as I pull her into a kiss. She groans against my lips and I know I've won this fight.

"Fine, fine, duty to the galaxy, blah blah blah. I'll do it, kriffing robes and all… but love?" she says.

"Yes?" I answer a bit hesitant, knowing that tone in her voice. Her eyes are sparkling with mischief.

"Next Imperial Remnant ball… we are going, and I get to pick your outfit." grinning wickedly she adds "I think pink might just be your colour."

"You wouldn't dare Mara…" I say, but I know she would. Wrestling her down and kissing her to try distract her I make a mental note to try keep her away from Mirax around any ball dates. Leia had better appreciate what I suffer through for my duty to the Repubic


	12. Life Day

A/N: While writing this chapter the idea came up between myself and **DarthObsydian** to tie her Guarding the Angel bedtime story together with Fragments as they fit fairly well together. There was a slight timeline issue, but I think I was able to mitigate it decently. If you have not read her story be sure to do so! Not only is it an awesome story, but this chapter makes several references to details in her fic. :) Also this is dedicated to **DarthObsydian** for all her help and support on this fic. Merry Life Day/Christmas/Yule everyone!

**Chapter 12: Life Day**

**3ABY**

**Mara Jade**

I know he's humouring me, but it makes me appreciate him all the more. Curling into his side I shift so I can watch the snow softly falling out the large transparisteel window. Resting on soft taun taun pelts by the fire I know I am the picture of bliss. The apartment we meet in is neither mine nor his, but a place in-between he maintains for meetings of a more desecrate nature. He'd never allow his own chambers to be decorated in such a fashion. Brightly coloured lights are strung around the room, providing a lovely defuse sort of light along with the fire and candles placed around the room. A large, colourfully decorated tree takes centre stage in the room however. Apparently reading my thoughts Palpatine sighs and shakes his head as he runs an idle hand through my hair.

"I don't know what it id you see in the blasted holiday my dear." he says standing and sitting on the couch which has been draped in furs for comfort. Sitting myself, but not quite willing to give up my comfortable place by the fire yet, I lean against his legs, staring into the fire as I speak.

"The lights… the smells… you have to at least admire it from an aesthetic stand point." I say and he gives a slight laugh.

"Trying to appeal to my love of art?" he asks amused. I shrug and grin.

"Was worth a shot." I say. Leaning my head back I tilt it up to meet his amused gaze. Sighing ruefully he shakes his head at me.

"Perhaps, but my opinion remains unchanged." he says. I pout slightly and he pulls me up and towards him. Shifting myself so I am facing him I settle into his lap.

"Is there _nothing_ I can do to sway your opinion on this matter?" I ask playfully "_Someone_ once said I am quite a skilled negotiator." I say as I nip at his collar bone.

"Later perhaps we can work on your _negotiation_ skills." he says, "But as I am here to celebrate Life Day with you, accursed holiday it is.. I would say your skills in negotiation are already quite successful." Running his hands down my back, he cracks a half smile "Unless you would prefer not to celebrate." he adds. I shake my head at him.

"Not unless you wish to further my negation training right now." I respond grinning. I know he is tired. We both are, still recovering from our fireside passions. As such I know he will not rise to my challenge.

"You win my dear." he says. Sliding me from his lap he grabs his outer robe from where it was discarded, wrapping it loosely around himself as he stands to make his way over to the tree. I follow him curiously, grabbing one of the pelts and wrapping it around myself, the air still chilled by the Coruscant winter away from the roaring fire. Beneath the tree there is a wrapped package. Picking it up he hands it to me. I'm surprised at the weight of it. "Open it my dear." he says. Pulling the paper off I find a book bound in leather of some kind… kyrat dragon hide I realize as I run my fingers over the cover where carefully hand painted falling stars decorate it. A memory nearly forgotten flashes in my mind. One of my first nights on Coruscant.

"You had this made for me… when I was very young." I say, lost in the memory. He nods and smiles.

"So you remember." he says. There is something in his voice that sounds odd but I can't understand it.

"A little. I remember I was scared and you read to me." I admit. Something tugs at my memory as I flip through the book and I touch the Sand Panther tooth that hangs around my neck reflexively. He watches as I try piece together fragments of that day from the shadows of my memory. As I flip through the book the pieces fall into place. I know my eyes have gone wide and my breath catches in my throat as I realize the truth. The truth is my true gift I understand. Not a sugar coated version like he told me before, but the cold harsh truth. He waits silently as I process the facts.

"Do you understand why?" he asks me gently. Blinking back tears I nod. I do understand. The Jedi would have kept me from reaching my potential. I would not have thrived the way I did under them as I do my Master. He cups my cheek in his hand and brushes away my tears as memories come flooding back. I still don't remember their faces… but I remember their cries and pleas. The way my mother screamed when- I shake my head not wanting to think of it. I'd asked in my innocence if the lightning had hurt. Now I was older and wiser and knew from first hand experience it did. I remembered the pain of even mild bursts as he taught me to deflect it. I remembered struggling against him as he took me, not understanding… breaking free and almost getting killed by that kriffing panther. Again he had saved me… and that time I had seen him as he was- my saviour. I understand why he did not offer me the truth before as well. Even now it hurts… but that he has faith in my ability to handle it fills me with pride. I feel his gentle comforting touch on my mind as he pulls me into his arms.

"Thank you Master." I say, barely more than a whisper, my voice choked with tears that I am no longer certain are of pain of loss or joy in his trust in me. My voice falters and I can say no more, but he understands. He always does.

**3ABY**

**Emperor Palpatine**

I make certain she is relaxed before I present her with the gift I have. I am unsure how much she truly remembers, or can with the right stimulus. I will soon discover this however. If she remembers, I know it will pain her, though it is my hope it will also further her loyalty. Should this experiment to allow her a more honest answer to her question fail… well there are certainly ways to pull those memories from her mind. It will mean listening to her questions all over again, but it is a small matter. I will do whatever is needed to ensure her perfect loyalty. She is the picture of bliss, resting against me on one of the taun taun fur rugs I acquired for this occasion. She tries again to sway me to her love of Life Day. It amuses me, as does the playful nature about her. Amusement is not however the purpose of tonight. Rising and guiding her to the gaudy decorated tree she is so fond of I withdraw a package wrapped in crimson paper with a sedate black bow, and hand it to her, monitoring her reaction in expression and in a light Force touch on her mind. I observe as her face flashes in remembrance, the reaction mirrored in the Force.

"You had this made for me… when I was very young." she says, her voice distance, lost in memory.

"So you remember." I say. She catches on fast there is something more about the book. Her expression is confused for a moment as she tries to understand my meaning.

"A little. I remember I was scared and you read to me." she says. I wait patiently to see just how far she remembers. I keep my face impassive as I observe her. She is vaguely aware of my studying her, but she ignores it. Her hand goes to the pendant around her neck as she flips through the book, the pieces starting to fall into place. Ah yes, so she does remember. Shock and hurt emanate through the Force from her as she finally connects all the fragments I have offered her through the years. Her eyes go wide and she gives a sharp intake of breath. Keeping my tone soft, my posture one of gentle comfort, I cup her cheek and wipe her tears away.

"Do you understand why?" I ask her. I speak no further. She does not answer immediately, still lost in the memory as I remove a small barrier in her mind that I placed there when I first acquired her to allow her to remember vividly all she needs to about that day. I can clearly feel her pain, but also a degree of resignation and understanding. It was a worthwhile gamble I decide to allow her this. She is still clearly hurting and upset however much she understands. Sending soothing waves through the Force I pull her into my arms as she cries.

"Thank you Master." she whispers against me, before surrendering to tears entirely. Gently I take the book still clutched in her hand and set it aside then guide her back towards the fur draped couch. It is some time before she settles and stops crying, but I know when she does she will not weep for them again. Finally my little angel has found her wings and is ready to fly.

"I regret my gift has upset you so… I am led to understand this is a happy holiday." I say lightly as I stroke her hair soothingly. That brings a faint smile to her lips.

"Forgive me if I have given the wrong impression… it means a lot to me you trust me so much." she says finally regaining her composure and voice.

"I'm glad. I hate to see you unhappy my dear." I tell her. It is true in a sense. I do hate to see her unhappy, just not for the reasons she thinks. When she is unhappy there is always a risk her loyalty may falter. It's why I am always so careful to filter what she sees of the Empire. Her emotions make her both weak and useful. It's all a matter of balance and fine tuning that line. Our Force bond does simplify the matter however. She does not know it, but it allows me to observe her without her even sensing it. I have trained her to shield her mind from most, but not from me. Not entirely.

"Sorry for the waterworks." she mumbles sheepishly, wiping tears and streaked makeup from her cheeks.

"Do not apologize my dear." I say gently. "Come let us speak of more pleasant things." She brightens at that, her mood shifting to a more relaxed playful one again.

"Like perhaps working on my negotiation skills?" she offers teasingly.

"Quite so." I say laughing and pulling her more fully into my arms. "Quite so."

**20ABY**

**Luke Skywalker**

Apparently one thing myself and Mara share in common is a passion for Life Day. Her moreso than me I think. I rarely see Mara so excited, and it's hard to contain my amusement as she runs around fussing over details of the decorations and food. Our apartment, especially the kitchen has been a flurry of activity. Certainly I knew Mara was a good cook and enjoyed entertaining… but her standing in the kitchen baking with an apron is such a… domestic image. It's hard to match it with the image of the fiery former assassin and Emperor's Hand I know and love. "Would you stop standing around thinking and help me with dinner already?" she snaps suddenly, brandishing a rather un-menacing spatula at me.

"I tried love. You told me I was making the sauce wrong and to kriff off in your words." I remind her lightly. She scowls at me. As yes, there's my fiery assassin wife.

"Just check on the roast and give the roasted root veggies a stir. You can manage to do that without kriffing it up right? Your sister and her husband are going to be here soon and we aren't ready yet!" she sighs.

"Yes ma'am" I say, giving her a mock salute.

"Cute Skywalker." she says rolling her eyes at me as she fires yet another dish into the cook unit.

"How many people did you invite Mara?" I ask her.

"Just your sister, Solo, Chewie, the kids, Lando, Tendra, Karrde, Aves, Chin, and Shada- why?" she asks confused.

"Because we look ready to feed the entire Imperial Army." I say, gesturing to the massive spread already on the table and dishes still cooking. "Just relax Mara please!" I plead, stepping over to her and rubbing her shoulders to try settle her. As I do she slumps and rests against the counter.

"I just want it to be perfect." she sighs.

"Why does it matter so much?" I ask her, pulling her into my arms.

"I haven't celebrated Life Day with anyone since my days as Emperor's Hand." she says. That catches me a little off guard.

"Wait, I thought Palpatine hated Life Day. I remember one year holopress reporters asked him for a Life Day greeting and his only comment was _bah humbug_ or something like that." I say and she gives a small laugh against my shoulder.

"He did.. but he would humour me over it because he knew I liked it… no matter how silly he thought the whole affair. He would never decorate his quarters, but he had several apartments for private meetings and he always made sure one of them was decorated perfectly for me. My happiness mattered more to him than his dislike of the holiday." Mara explains.

"That was sweet of him I suppose" I say, trying to keep my emotions in check. The last thing I want is to start a fight with my wife right before Life Day. She understands however that while I don't like it I am making an effort to accept it graciously, and returns the gesture by not commenting on the flicker of annoyance I feel at him still having such meaning in her life. I am slowly coming to accept it however. Shifting from my arms she checks on the various items in the cooker then relaxes.

"Ok we have about thirty minutes to relax before dinner is ready. What do you want to do?" she asks.

"I wanted to give you something while it's just the two of us." I tell her. She gives a mischievous grin and I blush "Not like that Mara!" I blurt out flustered. Regaining my composure after a few deep breaths I guide her over to the tree and pull a small box from beneath it. "I wanted to give this to you while we are alone because… well I'm not sure how you will react." I admit. She regards me curiously, but takes the box and opens it carefully. As she does I see her eyes widen and feel her surprise in the Force.

"A falling star box!" she exclaims. "Where did you find this? It's like the one I had as a child, but the company that made them was destroyed in the war."

"It took a bit of looking." I admit "You like it though? I wasn't sure if it would upset you or not. I mean I know you said the one you had meant a lot and you lost it-" my rambling is cut off by a passionate kiss from my wife.

"I love it farm boy!" she says smiling brightly. "Merry Life Day Luke." Mara says kissing me again.

"Merry Life Day Mara." I echo, pulling her into my arms and holding her close. Silently I thank the Force for bringing us together. Soon the apartment will be full of people and noise, but for the moment I enjoy a quiet moment with my wife and consider having her in my life is the best Life Day gift in the galaxy.


	13. Dagger

_A/N: Whee an update at __**DarthObsydian's**__ request because it's her Valentines gift. And look, I finished it on time too! :D I realize it's a tad morbid for vday… but if you have seen the card and cake I made… well you will understand what I mean. Dagger was one of the prompt words I was given so here it is. Hope you enjoy it! XD_

**Chapter 13: Dagger**

**2 ABY**

**Mara Jade**

How simple it is… how easily a life is ended by my hands I must as I wipe the blade clean of the blood which stains it. It wasn't always easy… I haven't forgot that. I remember how I once hesitated… faltered when the moment came. Never long enough to lead to failure… but that hesitation was there. I suppose it's natural for ones mind to rebel at the idea of ending the life of another sentient being, but time and practice overcome all things. A noise draws my attention for a moment and I fear for a second I missed my mark, but I quickly realize it is simply the sounds of death. Automatic reflexes as the body shuts down. I release the breath I had not realized I was holding. It's different killing in close range like this. Most of my assassinations have been sniper shots. It's different being so close to death. I allow myself a few moments to study and observe as life leaves the body. A small measure of discomfort settles over me as I watch, and I quickly shake it off. I made sure I would be alone with my vict- no my target- for some time so I have the luxury of taking my time… but I feel a pressing urge to leave as quickly as possible. I'm not afraid but… sheathing the blade, I check the room for any signs which would indicate my presence… the presence of an Imperial Assassin… not just a common hit and run crime. I select a few items in the room at random to take with me, smashing a vase to make it look like a robbery gone wrong. Once that is done, I quickly change from the clothes I wear that are now splattered with blood and gore, and into clean clothes so I will not draw any undue attention to myself. Making use of a fresher unit in the apartment I wash as much of the blood from myself as I can. Once I am sure the scene is set I take my leave, after doing one final check. I make my way back to the room I have rented before contacting my Master. Kneeling on the floor I reach across our connection.

"Master?" I call.

"Yes my dear?" he responds.

"Your will is done and justice delivered." I inform him.

"The weequay is dead so soon?" he inquires, and I smile feeling his pride.

"He is my Master." I say, and I can feel his pleasure with me.

"You have done well." he says. "And yet I feel you are not entirely pleased. What is wrong Mara?" he asks me. I sigh, feeling stupid about the whole thing, but feeling his gentle probing none the less. I know he worries about me.

"It was just… different… killing in close range." I admit.

"It bothered you?" he asks gently. I pause and consider how to explain my feelings.

"Unnerved me a little… set me on edge. It's nothing though.. just a new experience." I assure him. I can feel a gentle questioning from him, wondering if I am truly ok or just saying I am.

"If you are sure my dear." he says.

"I am." I say and feel his acceptance of my words.

"Very well. Return to Imperial Centre then. A ball is coming up and I need you to be my eyes and ears." he commands.

"Yes Master. I will return soon." I respond before breaking the connection. I gather my things and throw them into a bag and check out of the room before making my way to the space port. Once I am back on my ship and free of the atmosphere I pull the blade I used to end the weequay's life out again and turn it over in my hands studying it. It had not been my intent to use such a crude weapon, but turning the weequay's own blade back on him had made the most sense in the moment. It's a fairly wicked looking thing I observe. Black metal with a toothed edge to the top to do extra damage as the blade is withdrawn. I lay it down next to another dagger I own… this one a gift from my Master and compare the two. The blade my Master gave me is sleek and ornate… like Imperial Palace. This one is harsh and functional… much like the world it came from. As I sit with the two blades side by side I ponder if like architecture and art, weapons don't also reflect their home worlds. Home… the word stands out to me… the one thing I don't know… will never know… my true home world. I have no idea where I was born or how I came to be on Coruscant where my Master found me. He has told me what he knows… but the only people who know the answers I seek are dead and gone years ago. We can guess, but the full truth is lost. Coruscant is the closest I have to a home world now, and it is to that home I return.

**20 ABY**

**Luke Skywalker**

I marvel at the truly huge array of weapons my wife keeps as she opens the hidden case to replace several weapons in it upon her return from a job she ran for Karrde. I'm not sure I want to know what she was doing for him she felt the need to arm herself so well…. though perhaps it is simple habit I consider looking at the wall of weapons in every shape and size. She is after all an ex-Imperial assassin and trained to use all of them. It's a slightly sobering thought. Had she ever chosen to act on her compulsion before she freed herself of Palpatine's last command to her… I would not have stood a chance.

"It's still not as big as it used to be." Mara says interrupting my thoughts, apparently having been tuned into them.

"You had more weapons than this?" I ask and my wife nods at me.

"Yeah… Palpatine made sure I had the best of everything… not to mention the items I took from jobs. Didn't want to leave evidence which could implicate me… and some of them were just… useful." she says.

"Like?" I inquire. A part of me cringes at how casually she discusses the deaths of sentients as a simple job… but she isn't wrong. To her then it was just a job, doing her duty to the galaxy… and in the end I was no better. Kriff I probably killed more people than she did in her entire career in that one single shot.

"I used to have a few really wicked daggers. This one-" Mara says, lifting a vicious looking blade from it's hook "Is the closet I have found to a replacement for it…. though it lacks the slight hook on the tip to really gut a target as you draw it back" she comments and I'm sure I've gone pale.

"Well I'm sure you'll find one someday." I respond, not really sure if I want her to… or her reasons for wanting such a thing. I hope she doesn't intend to use it on anyone.

"Perhaps." she says, setting the blade back on it's hook. "The one I miss most though was a beautiful one I was given as a gift… the hilt was carved from a kyrat dragon's tooth and inlaid with gold and corusca gems. It was truly a work of art. I never got the chance to use it… I'm not sure if I would have anyways. I'd of been afraid to damage it." she says.

"A gift?" I ask. "A gift from-" I pause not wanting to say it, but she nods, understanding my meaning.

"Yes. It was one of the last birthday gifts I ever got from him… just before his death… Maybe a year or two before? I lost it when Isard seized my ship and resources." Mara sighs.

"With paths open by the peace treaty into Imperial space… if the ship survives…" I offer and Mara considers it.

"You are suggesting there is a chance my ship was docked somewhere and left untouched… I might be able to recover it?" she asks. I shrug slightly.

"I can't say for sure… but from what Wedge and Corran told me about her she seemed focused on the big ships like Destroyers. If it wasn't lost in the attack on Coruscant… it's possible it's still out there… maybe even untouched since the day you lost it. I can put in a call to see if anyone knows what became of it… if there were any records left."

"Yeah that sounds like her. It was always about power with her. She was subtler than Vader to be sure, but it always came down to power in the end. I think that is why she hated me so much. I had powers she didn't… powers that made me special to the man who mattered most to her. It was something she could not compete with me on." Mara muses. Giving a slight grin as she recalls her life in Imperial Palace she remarks "It probably didn't help matters I egged her on… baited her when I could."

"You? Start trouble? I'm shocked Mara." I tease lightly. She gives me a gentle shove and laughs.

"That's usually your speciality isn't it farm boy?" she teases back.

"Yeah I guess it is." I admit laughing.

"Lucky you have a former Imperial Assassin who is good at getting you out of it." Mara laughs.

"Who sounds like she learned this first hand." I note and she laughs harder.

"Touche farm boy, but at least I rescue myself." she reminds me.

"Hey I saved you too." I protest. "And I must say the rewards were worth it." I say grinning and pulling my wife to me. She shakes her head and laughs at me, but does not resist as I pull her into a kiss.

"Oh farm boy, what are we going to do with you?" she asks.

"I have a few suggestions…" I trail off, making use of our bond to plant suggestions in her mind.

**2 ABY**

**Emperor Palpatine**

I smile slightly as I set the dagger into the elegant wooden box I have selected for it. It suits Mara perfectly. The hilt a large karat dragon fang which has been carved illustrating a scene of battle. Dozens of corsica gems dot the hilt, and it's woven through with veins of gold. Truly a work of art. The blade itself is sharp and smooth, the kind that will leave a straight edged wound which is hard to heal. It is as beautiful as it is lethal… just like my Mara. I can sense her nearby, awaiting my permission to enter the Throne room. I send her a mental acknowledgment and she enters, bowing before me. "Rise." I command her and she obeys as she closes the ground between us. Observing her dress for the ball tonight I realize how perfectly it matches with my gift. She wears a glittering dress of blood red, accented with gold and gems. She waits patiently while I study her and muse before drawing my focus back to the present. "You look lovely my dear." I comment and she smiles.

"Thank you." she responds inclining her head slightly "But I assume you did not summon me simply to compliment me." she observes and I laugh.

"Quite true my dear." I respond and she tilts her head at me questioningly.

"How is it I may serve you?" she asks. A slight playfulness sliding into her tone she adds "Or service you if that's what you want?" I shake my head at her ruefully.

"Neither this time my dear. I wished to give you something." I tell her, standing and pulling the box from my robes. She takes it and runs her finger over the gilded designs on the box before opening it. I am gratified when she gives a small gasp upon opening it.

"It's beautiful Master!" she exclaims.

"Like you my dear… as lovely as it is deadly." I tell her and she smiles faintly at that.

"I wish there were not need of my skills in that regard." she sighs, and I brush her cheek gently.

"I hope some day you shall know the end of war, and that you may live in more peaceful times. That your sacrifice now brings a better future for us." I say and her smile widens a little at the reminder of why she does what she does. Though she will act without hesitation or mercy when it is required, she tries still to spare lives when she can.

"I hope so too." she answers softly.

"Come." I tell her, extending an embossed leather sheath for her to place the blade in. She understands my meaning and lifts the hem of her flowing gown to allow me access to strap the blade concealed against her thigh. As I close the clasps I run a hand along her thigh, a promise of later when we have time for such dalliances. She gives a sigh of pleasure as I do, even knowing it will not lead to anything right now… simply enjoying the gentle touch. Once the sheath is secured in place she allows the gown to drop back down. Glacing at her chrono she sighs.

"I suppose we ought to make our way to the ball." she says. "Or at least I should. You are allowed to be fashionably late" she laughs. "It is after all your ball."

"Go on ahead my dear. I won't be far behind you." I tell her, and she nods in understanding. I can not show favouritism by arriving with her… but I will be close.

"I will see you there." she says, inclining her head slightly before turning and leaving. I watch as she goes, admiring how the glittering red fabric looks like blood against her pale skin. Though green is far more often her colour matching her bright eyes… or black of the shadows she fades into… I find the crimson she wears suits her quite well. Idly I consider if she doesn't almost wear it better than Ysanne.


	14. Dreams

A/N: Since it struck me it would be fun to have chapter 14 posted as a Valentines gift on the 14th for my "twin" **DarthObsydian**, I decided to quickly write a chapter up. Hope you enjoy it! Happy Valentines and I loves you :D Hopefully this isn't too typoed or anything since I literally wrote this over a couple hours while doing other things like laundry and dishes and all that fun jazz, and I'm kinda tired. ANYWAYS… here it is, chapter 14 for the 14th. Go me :D

**Chapter 14: Dreams**

**20 ABY (1 ABY)**

**Luke Skywalker**

I walk through the halls of the Palace, but it seems different some how… there are sections I don't remember… and is that a Royal guard? Looking again I confirm- Royal Guard for sure… but what are they doing here? I didn't think the Imperial Remnant used them.. and I don't recall a meeting today anyways. Looking around I panic for a moment… where is Mara? Why isn't she with me? I blow a sigh of relief as I see a familiar flash of red gold hair and move towards her but she seems not to notice me. "Mara!" I call out but she doesn't look back at all.

"Countess Claria." a man says coming down the hall and she turns to face him.

"Always a pleasure to see you." she greets him. Claria? Is she undercover? How could she be now when her face is so widely known and she is making no attempt to disguise herself? It's not making any sense. "How are you adjusting to your new position?" she asks the man.

"Very well Countess." the man replies. "I must thank you. Rumor has it you put in a good word for me which helped gain me this promotion." he says.

"I don't know what you are talking about." Mara responds in a conspiratal tone.

"Of course not Countess." the man replies smiling. As I study Mara I notice something seems off… she looks… younger? Suddenly it starts to make sense. I'm dreaming. We've been talking about her past and now I'm dreaming it…. so why does it seem so real? May as well go along with it I decide.

"I shall let you return to your duties. I'm glad to see your new office is treating you well." Mara says.

"Thank you Countess." the man says before continuing his walk down the hallways. Following her as she continues her own path down the hallways I notice her suddenly freeze and her head incline slightly. Her telepathic link with Palpatine I realize. Her expression is blank for a moment then a smile crosses her face. She veers down a quiet corridor then depresses a design on the wall opening a hidden door. I follow her through it and weaving through a maze of passages. Finally she stops and works a hidden release lever and exits the passage into a moderately sized apartment decorated in ebony and crimson. She settles herself on the couch and waits for something. Her posture is reclined, but I can see the anticipation in her eyes. A target perhaps? A few moments later her posture changes, and following her line of sight I see why. Palpatine stands before her and I cringe as she leaps into his arms and greets him with a warm kiss.

"Master, I've missed you." she says smiling brightly as he holds her. I want to look away, but I can't. I watch as he guides them back to the sofa and settles down on it, Mara curling into his side as he pours them each a glass of wine. I bristle as I observe him grazing her form with feather light touches as they drink and talk, and how she leans into his hands. I'm sure my expression is one of horror as I realize what is about to happen when they set their now empty glasses aside and Mara shifts herself so she straddles his lap. No no no. I don't want to see this! Stupid brain wake up. Why would it even think about this? Led alone imagine it? I try look around to room but no matter how I try turn I see nothing but them. As the layers between them shed I feel ill. Seeing Palpatine's face was bad enough… seeing the rest of him? I shudder and try close my eyes… but closing your eyes is kind of pointless when you are dreaming I discover. Technically my eyes are already shut after all. It's like a knife in my heart seeing the ease with which she moves with him… the familiarity… so like our own, but different. She's freer.. more light hearted. When I think I can take no more the dream finally fades as my mind moves back into wakefulness.

Jarring awake I try shake the images from my mind. My motion is enough to disturb Mara who glares at me for a moment for having woken her, then taking in my face her expression softens. "What's wrong Luke?" she asks.

"I had a dream." I mutter feeling stupid.

"What to talk about it? You seem pretty ruffled." she says. I sigh mortified my mind would think of such things, but not talking isn't going to get me far either.

"The dream was about… well… you… but younger." I say and she raises an eyebrow at me.

"This some weird kinky thing Farmboy?" she asks laughing at my discomfort.

"No! No! Nothing like that! I uh…" words failing me I seek out our bond and show her the dream. As I do she suddenly stiffens.

"The kriff Skywalker?" she blurts out angrily, pushing me away.

"Why are you so angry Mara?" I ask confused. She gives me a bitter laugh.

"Like you don't know Mr Jedi Master." she spits at me.

"I really don't Mara I promise." I protest and she regards me for a moment, her expression a mix of rage and confusion. Finally she sighs.

"You really don't know?" she asks and I shake my head. "You were inside my head Skywalker… those are my memories. My _private_ memories." she stresses.

"Oh." I say, not sure how to respond. Then as her words hit me I realize what she means. "Oh!" I blurt out. "You mean I watched… I saw… _that_ happened?" I ask, unable to keep the disgust from my voice. Mara hears it and bristles in anger.

"I didn't tell you to go poking around in my mind so kriffing deal with it Skywalker." she snaps.

"I wasn't trying to! I swear Mara!" I shoot back at her. She fixes me with a glare.

"But you wanted to know." she says and I sigh.

"I wanted to understand you… I didn't want to see… kriff that was awful. How could you Mara?" I ask revolted.

"Don't like it? Stay out of my head Skywalker." she snaps having stood from the bed and now pacing across our bedroom floor in irritation. Sighing I sit up and move myself to the edge of the bed, trying to pull her to me.

"Mara please… I don't know what happened. I wasn't trying to get into your head and I'm sorry." I say and she stills her pacing but still holds herself back. Playfully, trying to lighten the mood I suggest "Why don't you come back to bed and help me replace that disturbing memory with a new one?" I can tell by the tensing of her stance and the tightening of her jaw that was really the wrong thing to say.

"Disturbing Skywalker?" she grinds out at me, her irritation clear.

"Wouldn't you find seeing my memories of being intimate with Callista the same?" I challenge her.

"It wouldn't thrill me to see, but I wouldn't be so… immature about it. Kriff maybe I'd take it as a chance to learn something about you… what you like." Mara snaps back. "Ever consider that for even a second? No of course you didn't"

"Mara I'm-"

"Just shove it ok? It's bad enough you violated my mind- intentional or not… I can't deal with your judging me on what you saw too. I need some air… some space." she sighs.

"Where are you going Mara? It's-" I glance over at the chrono "Three in the morning."

"Out. I don't know where. Maybe a bar or something. I'll crash in my ship." she sighs. Feeling my reluctance and worry she shakes her head at me. "Don't worry about me. I'm a big girl. I can take care of myself. I dare any of the Coruscant nightlife to try take me on." she adds with a laugh.

"Mara…" I try plead but she won't hear it. She has made up her mind and nothing is going to change it. She gives me a dismissive motion of her hand.

"Just let me go Luke." she says somewhat calmer, now she has decided on a course of action. "Nothing you can say right now can make this better. I promise I won't do anything too reckless. I'll be home… when I've had some time to cool off and think." I frown but know she's right.

"I'll do research… see if I can't find a way to stop it from happening again." I tell her and she nods, as she dresses, strapping on her utility belt and blasters.

"That sounds good." she says. "I guess… see you later. Hopefully you have answers then." With that she turns and leaves, leaving me alone with my thoughts. The bed feels too big without her there I decide as I toss and turn trying to get back to sleep. Groaning I get out of bed and make my way to the kitchen for some hot cocoa and decide now is as good a time as any to start that research.

**14 BBY**

**Emperor Palpatine**

I feel a soft warmth pressed against me and frown. Mara has made her way into my room and curled up beside me shivering. Paying closer attention I realize there is a faint sniffing noise coming from her and that she is crying. "What is it child? Why are you not in your room?" I ask her harshly.

"I had a bad dream." she mumbles softly.

"That doesn't explain why you are here disrupting my sleep." I say. Her lip juts out as she whips at her tear streaked face.

"It scared me… I didn't wanna be alone." she says, her voice nearly a whisper at this point.

"Speak up child." I command her. "Now tell me, why are you here?"

"I'm too scared to be alone." she says, clearer this time.

"Dreams should not frighten you child. They are just dreams. I did not think you so weak. Perhaps you will not be able to be trained after all." I sigh. That has her attention quickly.

"No, please. I wanna be trained. I wanna help!" she protests, and I conceal my smirk. So easy she is to manipulate. It makes having a child around more tolerable.

"Well then, since you have disrupted my sleep this far, tell me about this dream so I can teach you how to never have dreams bother you." I tell her. Her bright green eyes meet my golden ones in excitement.

"Really? You can make bad dreams go away?" she asks.

"I can child… but first tell me the dream." I instruct her. She attempts to form a serious expression and I find the effect almost laughable, but I keep my expression somber.

"Um, kay… I dreamed there was these big grey monsters and they breathed fire. They were chasing me. There was people with me… a mommy and a daddy… and they told me to run.. but smaller monsters that were black and white and like giant bugs that stopped me from running. Lava came out of their hands and burned the people and they fell down… then a shadow monster came for me…" she says "Dats when I woke up." Though distorted by the eyes of a child, I understand it is memories not dreams which trouble her. I thought I had wiped them all from her mind… but it matters little. Memories are far simpler to deal with then foolish childish fears and imagination.

"Come child, I will make sure this dream bothers you no more." I tell her. She sits up straight and looks at me with wide trusting eyes.

"Will it hurt?" she asks.

"It might for a moment, but you will not remember it when you wake I promise." I tell her. Truthfully I've never had the technique used on myself so I have no idea how painful it truly is. I only know I sense pain when I use it on someone, so I can assume from that that it is indeed painful.

"Kay." she says.

"Now stay still child." I tell her touching her cheek with my fingertips, allowing the contact to reinforce the connection as I slide into her mind and locate the problematic memories. I am about to rip the memories from her when I decide on a different course of action. Perhaps some day these memories may yet be useful, tenacious as they are. Perhaps it's a sign from the Force they are needed for some reason I do not yet know. Instead I build a barrier in her mind around them, so strong and deep in her mind she will not even know it is there. As I withdraw from her mind she blinks confused.

"Dat didn't hurt at all." she says.

"Really?" I ask. I know of course but I humour her "Such a brave child you are… perhaps there is hope for you yet." I tell her and she puffs with pride. "Now child, do you think you can show me how brave you are and return to your own bed. I promise the dreams will trouble you no more." She hesitates for a moment then nods.

"Kay." she says. I can tell by her confused expression my barrier worked. I can see she is trying to remember what it was that so scared her and failing. I wait to see if she will question me, but she apparently decides against it and makes her way out of the room back towards her own. Waiting til I sense she has safely returned to her own rooms, I roll over and go back to sleep.

**20 ABY**

**Mara Jade **

Sipping my Whyrens I glance up to see a familiar face. Sighing I motion Karrde over to sit with me. "Drink?" I ask him and he shakes his head.

"Too early for me Mara." he says. "I would have thought it's too early for you as well."

"Not when I've been up since three in the morning it isn't. Noon is closer to early evening for me right now." I comment and Karrde gives a shrug.

"True enough." he admits.

"Luke send you?" I ask, annoyed at the thought. Karrde clears his throat. Though not Force sensitive, he's far too good at reading body language.

"I came on my own. I called the apartment looking for you. Skywalker looked pretty ragged. Said you'd had a fight and he didn't know where you were. You left your comm link, which isn't like you. Figured I should check up on you myself." he says. "You may be resigning as second in command, but I still care about my people Mara." he tells me. I sigh. I know it's true. "What happened Mara?" he asks. I slump and study my glass for a minute before answering, knowing Karrde will not give me any peace until I respond to his question.

"It's a Jedi thing… As Luke is building his powers.. it's having some unforeseen effect on our bond. He was able to see some very… personal memories without me being aware or him even trying from what he told me. He was just thinking idly about my past and he could see it as clearly as I could. I needed to get away from that… put some space between us." I explain. "I know logically he didn't mean it… but I feel violated none the less." I admit.

"It's understandable Mara." Karrde says.

"But you think I should go home so Luke stops worrying and running himself ragged." I finish for him sighing again and throwing back the rest of my Whyrens enjoying the burn. He shrugs and spreads his arms.

"It's your choice Mara. If you decide this whole Jedi marriage thing isn't for you, I'd be happy to have you back on my crew." he offers.

"You serious?" I ask him, considering it for a moment.

"We all miss you Mara. I'd feel badly for Skywalker, but he isn't who matters to me. You are Mara. Whatever makes you happy."

"I appreciate it Karrde." I tell him, catching him in a rough companionable embrace.

"I'm planet side for few days. Think it over… if you want to leave entirely.. or even just go for a run and catch a break from the Jedi Master. Just promise me whatever you decide-"

"Yeah yeah, I'll go talk to my husband boss." I grumble. He puts a hand on my shoulder as he stands to leave.

"Let me know what you decide." he says and I nod. Signalling for another drink before I head home to face my husband I consider Karrde's words and what it is I really want.


End file.

Star Wars, Angst, Romance