Fifty Shades Trilogy 1. Chapter 1

It was the month of June and Newyork was humid as hell,People were hustling bustling about just like they always are in this city,I was sitting alone in Starbucks and waiting for Christian to arrive,remind me again how was he able to persuade me to ditch my date with Brian who is a super sweet guy whom I work with in the office and sit here alone waiting for hours.I take sips from the latte in front of me and sigh,this is not the first time he has behaved in such a way.  
Christian has been late many times before but when he apologizes with that look in his eyes I always forgive him even though I hate myself for it.  
I have known Christian since what feels like forever we were five when he met eachother and I have seen him go through a lot of phases,he has shaped himself up very well,Christian is so young yet he's a billionaire it amazes me and with the looks of a greek god He's like water for a thristy soul,I am sure there is no girl on this earth who won't love to marry him except well maybe me.

Girls throw them selves at him all the time its like he is like food for starving females and he takes full advantage of that,None of his girlfriends last for more than 3 days and then another one comes along,there have been some serious relationships in his life but he says that he doesn't have time for relationships just now with being in and out of the office all the time.

A breeze hits my face and I suddenly try to brush the hair off my face,Where on earth is Christian I think to myself? My eyes take in the surroundings around me,I see a couple kissing eachother with great passion,geez get a room will you? and a child of no more than 7 crying frantically.  
Suddenly I hear a velvety voice calling my name and I don't need to look up to know who the voice belongs to its none other than Christian himself.

He takes in the sight of me and his eyes roam over my body leisurely,It somehow makes me feel a bit uncomfortable and I blush,what game is he playing?  
"Hey" He says while grinning and pulling me close to to close for my comfort zone.  
"Let go of me" I whisper to him,I am angry can't he see?

"No,cant do" Christian mutters with amusement,is he enjoying this after making me ditch a date with a super cute guy and making me wait for 2 hours here.  
"Go fuck your self Christian"I say with as much venom as possible.

"Why should I when I have so many girls to fuck?" he says smugly,nerve of this guy is driving me insane.  
"Hey I am sorry baby I got caught in a big meeting I will make it up to you?"he asks sounding concerned.  
"You made me miss a date!"I half shout.  
"I said I am sorry" he says now sounding annoyed.  
"what did you take over this time?"I ask him with curiosity.

Now he is laughing freely on my question,did I just crack a joke because I seriously don't think anything is funny in the question I just asked.  
"How can you say I took over anything?" he questions me while flashing me a full on panty dropping smile.  
"Well don't you always take over things?I ask him with my eye brows raised.  
"do I,I wasn't aware?"He says while stepping even closer to me.  
"I took over a new oil company,now we will open a new branch of the Grey enterprises which specializes in oil"He says like its no big deal.

"Wow" I say astonished how does this guy conquer so much when we are nearly the same age?  
"You look beautiful today,how come I always see you in a pair of ugly shorts and tshirts when you look so nice in a dress?" That makes me blush furiously and I say thanks.  
"I don't like getting dressed at home and today was different since I had a date which you made me miss"I mutter.  
"Hey listen"Christian says in a serious voice and that immediately gets my attention,I hope nothing bad happened.  
"Yeah?"  
"Since I made you miss your date can I make love to you Ana?" Christian says seductively, I choke and start coughing immediately,did he just say what I think he said?  
"What?" I ask in a voice which is not much above a whisper.  
"Can I make love to you till you can't breath?" his voice was laced with seduction and his piercing grey eyes were burning into mine.  
"Why?" I say another time completely lost in his eyes.  
"Because I want you" He says smoothly like actually does want me.  
"No I mean what does me missing my date have anything to do with that"  
"with what?" while grinning because he knows I am deliberately not saying making love.  
"sex with you" I say.

"well baby if I didn't ask you to come here,you would have been on a date with Brian and after some times you guys would have probably done it,so I can take you out for a dinner and later I can worship every inch of your body" He says without skipping a beat.  
whereas my heart is skipping a billion oh my good god..  
"I am not the type of girl who has sex with any guy"  
"Now I am any guy? I have know you for fifteen years" He sounds wounded,Good lord.  
"But do you really want to have sex with me?" I question him.

"well..no your like a sister to me it would be like incest"  
"Ahan.." I am not his sister anger fills me but I don't know why.  
"But babe you need to get laid badly,when was the last time you got laid anyways?" He asks with interest leaning on his elbows.  
"eeerr" I am a virgin but Christian doesn't know that.I don't tell everyone about my sexual status and I guess he never asked ,Only my bestfriend since high school Kate Kavanagh knows I am virgin and has been telling me to burst my cherry for years now I think now even she has given up,I miss Kate a lot,She is working for a charity in Germany and I am working as a secretary to a big publisher in Newyork so we don't get to see each other often.  
Suddenly Christian takes hold of my tiny hand in his big warm hand in comparison to mine and says "I am going to take you somewhere"while smiling like he's up to something.

I just nod because I trust him completely.  
We go to the parking lot and sit in his R8 and he starts to drive to god knows where,the soft voice of whitney houston was filling the car and the song "I will always love you" was on,I kept on stealing quick glances at Christian and I could see that he doing the same,why is the temperature suddenly so hot in here?

I take in what Christian is a immaculate grey suit that matches his piercing stormy grey eyes,and he is a running a hand through his unruly copper colored hair,I smile to myself that when I am tense I bite my lip, he on the other hand does this.I have ran my fingers in those hair more times than I can remember to in order to soothe him.  
"We are here" He says sounding glad.  
"Okay" I mutter.  
Turns out that he bought me to a disco,as we enter bright lights blind me momentarily and I close my I open them again I take in the scene going on before my eyes,some people are shaking their hips like there is no tomorrow.  
Christian and I walk to the bar and Christian asks me what do I want "a lemonade will do"  
"Come on Steele,stop being such a saint get drunk with me?" he says softly.

"If I get drunk I will probably end up in your or someone else's bed"I say.  
"Don't worry I have got you and as for my bed I don't think you would mind" he says while winking at me.I flush crimson.  
"In your dreams Grey" I stick my tongue out at him.

"Okay order me 5 shots of vodka?" I say to Christian.  
"Holy,are you crazy? A light weight like you can't hold that much of alcohol."

"5 shots Christian,I am not a kid."  
"Fine your loss" he says to me and the playful Christian is gone and in his place is the CEO Mr Grey.  
"5 shots of vodka for the lady and a sex on the beach for me" I hear as he order the bar tender.

I gulp down my vodka way too quick and turn to go to the dance floor,Christian takes hold on my wrist but I say nasty words to him and get rid of his hold,why is he behaving like my father today?

Usually he wants me to make boyfriends and all and makes fun of me because of the lack of them.  
I go on to the floor and put my best dance moves to a test and a guy comes behind me and starts dancing with me but I don't mind.

After a few seconds he starts grinding into me and I try to move away but his grip on my hip tightens like iron and I am unable to move,"Let go of me you pig!"I scream at him.

and that bastard only smiles as if he is liking my panic,fucking sadistic bastard,Panic hits me in full force,I turn to kick him but that's when my vision starts to blur and the world turns black for me,I pass out on that bastard.


	2. Chapter 2

A bit of sunlight was coming in the room as I opened my eyes,I touched the bed I was sleeping in with my finger tips and felt the soft pillows all around me,this definitely was not my bed,it was much larger,the walls of the room had huge paintings on it and by now I knew that I was occupying Christian's bed,I tried to call his name but no sound came out of my mouth,It must be because of the excessive amount of Alcohol I had consumed the night before,what happened I think with a horrible sinking feeling the last thing I remember was that sadistic asshole was grinding into me,was I raped? How far did the pervert manage to go? My head hurts terribly.

Suddenly I hear the door opening and see Christian leaning on the door frame,He has no shirt on and is sweaty,His body looks perfect,Very well toned and formed,He must have been working out,I avert my gaze from his body and start to look down at my hands feel embarrassed.

"Hey" he says softly.  
"Hi.."I mutter.  
"Listen" we both say at the same time and than laugh,fine you go ahead first I say to him.  
He comes down and sits next to me on the bed and than leans further down and plants a kiss on my forehead, "How are you feeling sweetie?" He asks genuinely concerned.

"Better"I answer truthfully.  
"Ana you need to sleep more,Rest and I will come back later but I will tell the housekeeper to give you some food first,you have to eat that,okay?"  
"Sure" I murmur and finally try to address the elephant in the room."So what happened last night with that pig?" I question in a voice which is not much above a whisper.

"Hey,I am not telling you about last night until tomorrow you need to rest for now and don't worry your in my bed not in his so obviously he didn't have his wicked way with you"  
"If I am in your bed did you have your wicked way with me" I ask him while winking.  
"You wish!" He exclaimed,"Sadly you were comatose and thats not how I like my fucking partners to be"

Geez he's forward.  
I think my face shows how I am feeling at the moment that is utterly wounded because I suddenly feel warmth on my neck and insistent lips kiss me wetly from under my ear to the base of my throat.

I blissfully close my eyes and wonder whats gotten into him? I have known Christian since we were kids and he has never behaved in such a way with me with other girls hell yeah,I have heard that once he makes love to you no other guy is good enough,no other guy can make you feel the way Christian can,His mouth travels down my chest and into the valley between my breasts. Wet warmth covers my nipple and rips a gasp from me.

My core contracts when ever he plants a kiss on me.

Then I remember that we shouldn't be doing this and I must be liking the feeling of this because of the alcohol in my body and I am still not thinking straight so I push him away and mutter a sorry we can't do this.  
His eyes crinkle and he says "its okay" but I know he feels hurt why that I don't know.

"Christian just tell me I feel miserable not knowing" I plead to him with my eyes and his piercing grey orbs soften a bit.  
"Anastasia please don't press this"he whispers while frowning.  
"I need to know,I am not a fucking seventeen year old teenager who can't handle the pressure,If I am big enough to earn and then I can hear this"I say sternly, Holy he is really annoying!

"Fine so be it" Christian shouts "you want to know then okay I beat the shit of out that scumbag,he is black and blue now and if I was just a nobody I would be sitting in jail rightnow because that fucker is in coma but since I am the Christian Grey sexiest bachelor of Newyork they let me go pretty easily" and then he winks at me.

I try to clear my thoughts,Christian sent a guy in Coma because of me? am I that important to him? Sure we were bestfriends and he cares for me greatly but still.  
I decide to voice my thoughts and question him.  
"Christian why did you send him into Coma,a few hits would have been enough"  
"So your okay with me beating people for your sake? what are you missy? I thought you weren't the violent sort" he chuckles.  
"I am not" I try to say convincingly.  
"Sure.." he mutters.

"Ana your precious to me thats why I nearly killed him,he wanted to rape you and your mine"he states.  
A tiny voice inside my head squeals in delight,_HIS HIS HIS HIS!  
_I gulp loudly.  
"Listen I am going to take a shower and then sleep again" I tell him quietly.  
"Sure" He says and than he's out of his room leaving me to my self and my thoughts.  
After the shower I feel hungry so I decide to go outside and grab something to eat,When I walk into the living room I see that Christian's on the phone shouting at someone, Why is Christian such a control freak?  
I drink a glass of orange juice and by that time Christian is done talking thankfully.

"You okay?"  
"Yeah I am fine baby" he says softly and the next thing I know he wraps his muscled arm around my middle and I sink back into him. Tilting my head, he places a slow-wet kiss under my ear and I close my eyes. A throat clearing makes me jerk.  
I open my eyes and cringe at the sight infront of me,Christian's fucking partner also known as Sasha was standing right infront of us,shit!

I am doomed,This is so awkward!  
She standing their with her mouth agape,my heart races too fast and I want to die.  
Sasha strides toward us both and starts to cry "why Christian why?" I thought we had something special.

His eyes warm for just a second before ice cloaks them once more. Looking down at her he explains softly, "There are girls out there you want to fuck, and there are girls out there that you want to love." He looks me in the eye. "And Ana is only my bestfriend so nothing is going on between us but your just a good fuck nothing more so don't attach your self to me"When I hear his harsh words I can't take it anymore,how can he say this to anyone?

So I run away down the corridor and out of his apartment as fast as my legs carried me.


	3. Chapter 3

It was dusk when I ran out of Christian's apartment because I could not bear his treatment towards Sasha what type of a man does that?

I am thoroughly disgusted by his behavior and what had gotten into him anyways I have known him all my life and he has never behaved like the way he was behaving today and his wet kisses were doing delicious things to my insides thats for sure I quickly press my thighs together in order to stop the wet stickiness between my thighs from coming out because that would be a big proof of how turned on I was by my freaking bestfriend.

I sigh he will never do this to me again I know because I am like a sister to him and I will tell him to be nicer to Sasha even though I hate the witch and her clothes are like an open invitation,Geez that girl screams "Come and fuck me I am an easy lay" I shake my head in utter without meaning to I end up infront of the park and steal quick glances around and realize that it is completely vacant at present and that is a blessing for me because I do not want any spectators right now.

I need to think things through..I go and sit on a bench and tie my hair into a pony tail a strand of my hair comes lose and try to put it behind my ear, I try everything to take my thoughts away from Christian Grey but no such fucking luck, my thoughts keep wandering back to him..Why cant I think of anyone else I hit my head deadly frustrated with my self,I seriously need to take a hike On monday I am so going up to Brian and asking him out! I would even be a clown in the circus to take my mind off my bestfriend whose kisses I love immensely,we were both so young when we first met eachother.

My mom Carla is great friends with Christian's mom they have been friends for the last thirty years and I remember when my mom came home and told me to get dressed that we are going to see her favorite friend and her beautiful children and I simply nodded and got dressed.

When we went to their place I saw a huge white house which looked more like a mansion it was splendid and huge and it took my breath away,Two guards opened the huge iron gates and we went inside after parking I stepped out and looked around the place was immaculate it had huge green gardens and a small pond on the right side which inhabited colorful ducks and I saw someone moving in the shadows the sight raised my curiosity and I decided to go check what was there with my heart pounding restlessly my mom kept on calling behind me to stop me but when your a kid who listens to their moms so I did not I quickened my speed and I made it towards the thick lush canopy of trees and heard a muffled sound again, I swallowed hard shit my mom is pretty far away and I am all alone here in the dark between the trees shit the seriousness of the situation finally hit me "who is it "I try to ask but no sound comes out" I tried again this time a little louder.

"Whose there?" I muter softly because I am scared out of my wits and that is when a soft hand comes over my mouth and the other hand holds my waist in place I am so doomed I try to kick the person but to no avail he holds me like I am a baby,Hideous thoughts start to come into my head what if he is a bloody kidnapper? or worse a homicidal maniac? I try to bite his hand and thats when he removes his hand from my mouth and I sigh in relief and take in deep breaths."Please let me go!" I say pleadingly finally after a few minutes he lets go off me and then says in a teasing smug tone "got you".Even though I should have been angry at the boy who just did this to me but instead I ended up laughing and since then we have been inseparable.  
My thoughts come back to the present and I am feeling nostalgic a walk down memory lane always does that to you.  
Christian is killing me,dominating my every thought when did this happen,oh yeah since the morning when he nearly pressed his lips to mine.


	4. Chapter 4

**_Hey guys I am sorry that I haven't been posting often these days.I was abroad because of business,I will post more often_**

It was getting darker every minute and I was getting nervous,geez being alone in the park at midnight is not my biggest fantasy lets just say that but I don't know what I could have seriously done,run back to Christian's apartment and make a utter fool of myself like hell that is happening.

I curse under my breath as puffs of cool air hits my couldn't I atleast grab Christian sweater or something if I was going to run away so dramatically and now as I am thinking things through I realize that whatever he said to Sasha was a bit harsh yes but the girl clearly deserves it,I remember overhearing her conversation on the phone with her friend I think and I don't even want to think about what she was gave me the creeps and it was disgusting.

She was saying as I quote "You know it feels so good when Christian comes in my mouth and his semen is so tasty! I think that the shopkeepers should sell it in bottles" and I could here no more I went and threw up in the washroom and didn't stop throwing up till Christian came worriedly in the bathroom and asked me whats wrong?

I blushed to that but I obviously couldn't bring myself to answer that so I just told him I was feeling a bit unwell that day and he left it go,thankfully.  
So you must be getting me when I say that she is a harlot actually even harlots will be offended by being associated with her.  
And I don't know why but she absolutely hates me.

Even though I have tried to be polite with her over a billion times it just doesn't help,she thinks I am danger to hers and Christian's relationship like I would ever sleep with in a million we have slept together a lot of times but you know what I mean,she meant me jumping his bones.  
I put my head between my legs and start to sob hysterically,this is just so shitty!  
Why am I even here?

In the strange dim light,the tall pines of trees were so warmly warm damp balminess of summer encompassed me sweetly with moist smells of flowers.  
I was thinking of a lot of things when I heard a voice I certainly wasn't expecting to hear over here.  
"Ana!"he was shouting,his voice filled with concern.

But I did not reply.  
For some odd reason my mouth was too dry and no sound was coming out,where does your voice go when you need it the most? the part was kind off dark so I couldn't see Christian properly and I was not sure about where he was standing.  
A cold fright was falling upon me,all I could think of was that I loved him like my bestfriend.  
I love everything about the proud lift of his head to his copper colored hair,loved his laughter even when it mystified me,loved his bewildering silences.

I heard Christian coming closer "Why Ana"his voice breaking through the roaring my ear."Are you hiding from Jose Sweetheart?" he says with amusement.  
I gulped hard.  
I could not speak so i pulled him closer to myself,Chirstian looked puzzled but interested,There was a tenseness about me I think that he had never seen before.  
And even in this dim light he could see the rosy flush on my cheeks.

I surprised myself as much as I surprised him I think as I pulled him into a tight hug at first he was confused but then was he was hugging me back and I felt content.

You have stolen my heart,oh stolen darling what have you done? like the kohl from my eyes,like the fragrance from flowers,

I thought of these lines as I closed my eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

I sit paralyzed as he closes the distance between us devouring me with his eyes,he shrugs out of his jacket,his arms are wrapped around me and he is pulling me to him,gripping my ponytail to tilt my head up and kissing me with craziness,there is a desperate primal quality to his kiss.I kiss him back with equal fervor,our tongues battle with eachother,ardor erupting between us,he tastes divine.

I inhale his scent and I want it like oxygen.  
Christian felt me trembling in his arms,he had been countless women in his life but none who did to him what I was knowing he couldn't have me and maybe never would,there was something unbearably bittersweet about the lips found his again and Christian was kissing me in a way that I never thought possible but then I have only kissed a few guys in my entire life.I wanted him but I knew he was the forbidden fruit damn it he was my bestfriend and I had my hands wrapped around him in a public park like a slut.

"I think we should stop"I said distractedly,sounding sad and my face was warm and he had his hands cupped around my breasts as he kissed me.  
"I am not sure I can bear this"Christian said,groaning as he tried to make himself stop but just for one second more he could not then finally he brought himself back to his senses.  
"I am sorry Ana!" Christian said sincerely."I didn't think this was going to happen but believe me this would never happen again,I am so sorry baby,please forgive me?"  
"Never?" I question him trying to keep the hurt out of my voice.  
"Yes never" and that one word shattered a lot of my dreams.

"Hey whats wrong?"he asks me leaning closer.  
"Christian please can you leave me alone?" I mutter angrily "but I am always with you babe"he says in response.

Is this guy dense or what? Can he not see that he kissed me in a way that made me melt and a few minutes afterwards told me that he will never kiss me again in a regretful manner like my lips have some disease.  
Just then the phone rang and I was happy for the welcome distraction because Christian was intoxicating me."Hi there"I say innocently and recognize Jose's voice at the other end."Where have you been?"  
"Oh I have been in Malibu ,I am in love with a sexy actress!"Jose replies warmly and Christian asks me who is it on the phone and I tell him its Jose and he frowns.

Well they never were the best of friends.  
"Life is pretty good" I said softly."Aren't you supposed to be working" I ask him.  
"Not for a month or two"  
"So how does it feel to be in love sweetheart?"I say him sweetly and see Christian scowl at the word "sweetheart".God what is wrong with him?!

"Oh Ana! You can't understand"he exclaims.  
"Make me understand?"I say to him while laughing.  
"Well babe,its like nothing you have ever felt before.

Fall in love and then you will understand what life is all about.."  
"Jose holy hell,you sound so in love" I say to him happily.  
"I am,as soon as my eyes met hers I knew this was it,that day I understood the meaning of love,lowering of her eyes told me what a wonder intoxication can be"Jose says smoothly.

And I steal glances at Christian.  
I shake my head to gather my heart is pounding and for some reason I am blushing furiously under his steady gaze.


	6. Chapter 6

As I close the phone after talking to Jose I feel incredibly self conscious.  
Its like suddenly Christian is some stranger rather then my bestfriend.

I hear a ping on my phone and pick it up to check who sent me a message.  
"Happy friendship's day,May there be sex in your life and life in your sex it says"

I chuckle softly and I know its from Christian,is he Cecelia Ahern now?  
I decide to wish Kate friendships day and also ask her how she has been since I haven't talked with her in ages.  
**_"Hey,whats up?Happy friendships day are you pregnant yet or what?" I text her._**

**_I get an instant reply which says  
"nope how about you Steele? Settled down yet? sleeping with Christian?"  
Geez,she is forward "something did happen" I text back with a wink just to tease her.  
"Ohmygod!You didn't!"  
"Calm down Kate!"_**

**_Kate:I can't this is too bizarre! you two are like siblings.  
Ana:we did not!  
Kate:Oh then?  
Ana:well I am hardly going to tell you now Miss._**

**_Kate:Just tell me!  
Ana:Okay so Christian and I shared a kiss.  
Kate:How was it?  
Ana:It was mindblowing! the best kiss I ever had.  
Kate:Did you feel like having sex afterwards?  
Ana:eeer  
Kate:Oh my god you did! Anastasia Rose Steele,finally falling for a man!  
Ana:Babe got to go Christian is calling! ttyl.  
Kate:Sure love,see you soon_ xx**

Christian drives me back home and the drive is pretty silent,It is awkward to talk after sharing a kiss with a boy who used to sleep on the sleeping bag on your floor,the boy who used to sneak into your room since the age of twelve,a guy who has seen me in my underwear,The little Christian I used to chase around,the Christian who sat besides me at lunch for many years,was there for me when my mom remarried.

He was so supportive through out the whole thing even though I know it must have been hard for him.  
"So should I pick you up tomorrow at seven in the evening for a movie?"  
Christian says but I have to tell him no,I can not watch a movie with him after sharing a kiss.  
"No I don't think tomorrow will be possible for me"I say softly.  
"Why not?"he questions with his one eye brow raised.

"I have a date"  
Christian looks startled and speechless.  
Then some how he regains control of his emotions and his face breaks into a smile but that smile doesn't reach his eyes.  
"You sly lady!Why didn't you tell me about the date earlier"he says while smirking.  
"It must have slipped my mind,Brian is a great guy,Works in the same company as me so we get to see a lot of eachother"  
"Okay tell me all about him!"he exclaims.

"We met a few weeks earlier in a night club,he took my number and asked me out,I said no at first but then he came over to my place,I have been wined and dined like never before,he is really romantic.I won't give you the details of our weekend together" why am I lying suddenly? Yes I talk a lot to Brian but we have never even been out together! Am I trying to make Christian jealous? whats wrong with me?

"He is thirty six,not exactly tall as you,he has sandy colored hair and wonderful twinkling green eyes."  
I glance up and look at Christian's face set in a hard line.


	7. Chapter 7

It was a chilly night and I felt weird after lying to Christian.I have known him my entire life and we never lie to eachother,so suddenly what games was I playing with him?  
I did not understand back then.

It was a starry night,a perfect night for a walk.  
Taking deep breaths I got a hold on myself.  
But then I thought better of it,there is no sense of going out at this time in the night all by myself.  
So I opened the door and stepped into my apartment.

I settled down on the coach and took a blanket and started to read "Bet in the dark".  
I heard the door bell ring and so I unlocked the door,the sight before my eyes shocked me completely,Christian was standing at my door step looking very sleepy,I thought for a second that he might have sleep walked all the way till here but quickly dismissed the thought.

"Ana you can't go on a date with Brian!"He says hoarsely.  
My eyes went white with anger.

"well do you have anything else to say because Christian I am busy?"  
"Yes,Ana if you were that desperate for a sexual life we can get a hooker for you"Christian says rudely.  
My face turned as white as the mist around and I slapped Christian's cheek."I have fucking had it with you,what do you think of your self Christian?"I shout.

Christian's eyes widen and he still has his hand pressed on the cheek I slapped him,I feel bad about that but he deserved it.  
"Its my life! I can go on a fucking date if thats what I wish,I can sleep around if that is what I want,I can get pregnant if that is what I like,I can get married if I want,Its all up to me assnhole,not to you stop ruling over my life!"I scream.  
And start to sob terribly soon afterward.I just slapped Christian,my bestfriend,oh god what have I done?

He lifted me as easily as though I was a small child and a his voice with a hint of a laugh said "Okay I get it"  
And then he carried me to my bed and lay me down and settled in right next to me and pulled the cover on top of us.  
He pressed my back to his front,his mouth was pressed into the nape of my neck and his arms were encircling me.

I try to wiggle out of his gasp but his grip on me only tightened and he whispered seductively in my ear "You can do whatever you want to tomorrow but tonight I am going to hold you so close" and his velvety voice had my heart pounding madly and I was already melting.

"Baby,my heart is telling me to touch your heart beat" Just as I am about to fall asleep my phone rings and I pick it up even though Christian told me to let it be.  
"Hey"

"Hi Annie?"I hear my moms voice and suddenly panick.  
"Whats wrong?what did you call me so late?Is Ray alright?I ask her anxiously.  
"He is fine sweetheart but I have news to tell you?"

"Your getting a divorce?"  
"No"my mom half shouts,I don't blame what is up with me?  
"Then?"I ask her.  
"well you know Mia,your childhood friend and Christian's sister is finally getting engaged"  
"WHATTT?"I scream and because of that Christian also shouts and asks me if everything is alright?  
"Your sister is getting engaged" I mutter to him in an undertone.  
"Annie do you have company?"she inquires.  
"No"  
"then why did I just hear Christian's voice in the middle of the night"  
"Oh he stayed at my place today,anyway mom I will talk to you later,bye"  
"Bye honey"  
"Mia is getting married!"Christian screams.  
"Yes"I say softly,I know this must be hard for him since he thinks that she is a baby.  
"Anastasia that is madness!,she is only a child"

"Christian she is an adult and probably in love"I tell him firmly,why is he being this way? He should be happy for her!  
"Love is all bullshit"Christian insists rather loudly.  
"No it is not"I tell him.  
"How do you know?

"I just do Christian,When your in love nothing seems right or wrong and when your in love you don't want to stay a minute away from the object of your desire,you want to be with him,you want to laugh with him,spend every waking moment with him"

"Ana,Geez,where have you been hearing all this shit from?"  
"It is reality and listen dude would you rather want her to move in with him and just be fuck buddies?"I ask him with an eyebrow raised.

"Ana this is just disgusting me! But she is far too young,she is nearly your age,ask your self Steele are you ready for marriage? Are you ready to tie the knot with any guy?  
"Yes! I can get married"I answer without skipping a beat.  
"With who?"He asks while smirking.  
"with you"I say softly while maintaining eye contact. 


	8. Chapter 8

"what?"Christian said softly his eyes wide as a deer who had just seen the headlights.  
"Got you!"and then I started laughing,Christian's face turned into a scowl,"so this was a joke?"  
Your going to pay for this and after that he starts tickling me!  
And thats how last night went for me.

"Ma'am"The chef was staring at me,spatula food sat perfectly in my dish but I still took more just to be polite."All set"Christian asked?I wasn't ready for the date I have with Brian tonight because firstly I don't even have a date that was a white lie secondly Brian is just not my type.

But I nodded since that would keep things easy,my schedule was in a Manila folder,tucked into my purse and had been beamed on my phone for backup.  
Christian would be attending a fund raising coffee,this would be followed by a lunch with CEO's of the nations largest hospitals,bigwigs looking for breaks on things.

Meanwhile I hate public speaking and gosh that is not even stating our many other big differences but Chriistian and I just connected from the first time I saw region was clenched in a typical August moisture,my phone rang and it was Ethan Kate's brother calling,he was saying that he coming to Newyork for a few days and wants to stay at my place,and I told him that I would love that and hung up.  
Ethan has always been like a brother to me.

Ethan face was as round and sweet as a bowl of rice again my phone rang this time it was my mom,what is it with people calling me so much today?  
"Hey"  
"Hi whats up?I say back to her.  
"You don't know?"she says in a strange voice.

"I am out,whats going on?"I settled more comfortably into the seat readying myself for whatever long story she had for me "Oh god,you need to find a television set right this minute..They are saying"  
"Your scaring me?"I say sounding desperate.  
"Its Christian"

"What about him,is he alright?"suddenly concerned.  
I tried to assure myself that he is fine,if he isn't I would have found out by now.  
"Christian is saying that he is going to marry you on a show,when were you planning to tell me this honey?"Now my mother sounds hurt.  
I pressed my lips together clutching the phone in my right hand.  
Oh god! what the fuck? there has to be some mistake.

A tiny voice inside my head keeps on saying "this is a old habit of love,gives you comfort and steals your peace."  
I start feeling faint and just look out the window soon afterward from somewhere faraway I heard a jumble of sounds and the world slowly started coming back into focus.I tried to concentrate and learned that a single soft voice of Mrs Jones,Christian's housekeeper calling me inside.I became conscious of how I must be looking and tried to fix my hair.I blinked once more and got out of the car and went through the door that led to Christian's apartment building. 


	9. Chapter 9

By the time I reach the living room I am fucking livid,who does he think he is?  
Just because he has the looks of a greek god he can't just treat normal people like me like this.

I enter his study and then slam the door shut,Christian looks up in surprise his eyes wide.  
when he sees the look on my face he knows that I have heard the news.

"Anastasia let me explain.."he says softly.  
"Explain what you fucktard?" I say with as much venom as possible.  
"Christian huh whats your story that I am pregnant with your baby and I am forcing you to marry me and the sweet kind hearted billionaire you are you simply said yes and now you can be the one who rescued the fair maiden and get the perfect public image?"  
"Ana it was never about my public image"He sounds pissed now but I am not done with him yet.

"then what? is this about your alpha male ego that you can get any girl you want?"  
Christian starts smirking and says now with a hint of laughter "can I get any girl I want?"  
"well yes you can you have a way with women"I say honestly because god knows he does.  
"Ana I am really sorry about announcing this on the television without your permission but you know my mom wanted me to marry a family friend and she said if I don't marry the girl she will never speak to me again,so my only way out was to pretend to be in love with someone else"

"But Christian why did you say that you were planning to marry me,you could have simply said you loved me and that would have taken your mom off the hook"  
"I didn't think Ana the words just slipped out naturally"  
"why can't you marry the family friend?Is she not pretty enough?"I ask him.

"She is very pretty and is intelligent too,its just that I am not ready to commit myself so fully to someone,I just don't like the idea of marriage"  
"No shit playboy"I say while laughing but something insides me wants to cry,whats happening to me? Geez.  
"So Ana I have to meet my parents next week since its Mia's birthday will you come to Seattle with me and please save my life by pretending to be my love sick girlfriend that will throw the billionaire bachelor mongers off"  
"And what do I get in return?"I ask with an eyebrow raised in question.  
"Many nights in my bed"he says while winking and I turn into the darkest shade of crimson.  
"shutup Christian"

"So when do we leave for your parents place?"  
"The day after tomorrow"he says with a grin.


	10. Chapter 10

The black metal handle is hot under my hand, and through the glass I can see Sofia walking away from the door, down the main hallway, a box in her pudgy arms. I pull open the door, and she hears it open, turns, and sees me. Her face goes momentarily blank. And then her hospitality kicks in, and she sets the box down on the floor and bustles toward me, arms extended to hug lets me go and stands with his hands in his pockets as I embrace her. She's the same as ever, medium height, carrying most of her extra weight in her hips, graying black hair coiffed into a thick helmet of hair-sprayed perfection.

"Sweetheart how come you never come to the library any more?"she asks while sounding a bit affronted.  
"She's been busy.."Christian says while pulling me in closer.

suddenly aware of how I must look, how I must smell. I'm sure she can smell that I have been making out or maybe I am just paranoid since Christian and I had shared a rather passionate embrace in the elevator, see it in the rat's nest of my hair. I wish I'd had fixed my hair with a brush, but there's nothing to be done now.

"how are you sweetheart? Why, I haven't seen you in an age! I thought y'all would never come back to see us! Don't you look just beautiful, and my, oh my, who is this tall drink of water?" Sofia chatters nonstop, her accent thick as sludge and twanging like a plucked guitar string. Then she really sees Christian and she recognizes him. "Oh. Oh. Oh my…but you're—oh..oh my god..The Christian Grey?"  
"Yes ma'am"Christian says politely.  
"Why have a seat both of you I mean"and Sofia blushes some more.  
"Hey Sofia we will catch up some other time,I am heading to Seattle tomorrow for a few days and wanted to burrow a good book from the library so it will keep me preoccupied while I stay there"  
"Hmmm Ana would type of book would you prefer?"  
"You know my type,classics I guess but I want to read something new for a change.."I answer honestly.  
"Read At first sight by Danielle Steel or Best of me by Nicholas Sparks?"  
"I will take Best of me,thanks"  
and then Christian and I walk hand in hand out of the library,I ask Christian if he can drop me home but he says since we will be leaving early morning for Seattle tomorrow,he wants me to sleep at his place and I simply nod because I am too tired to argue.

"Baby"He says ever so softly to me and leans down to kiss my lips and I know I should move but I don't.  
"Christian why do you keep doing that?"  
"For practice baby since everyone back home thinks we are involved we should look like that too don't you think?"  
"But do we really have to kiss for that?  
"Yes and we will have to much more.."he whispers seductively but I tell him that I need to wake up early and so I am going to sleep in the guest room.  
"Sleep with me?"  
"Grey is that how you ask women to sleep with you,no wonder you had such horrible luck"I say while smirking.  
"Ana this isn't how I ask a girl if she wants to sleep with me,this is how I ask you"  
"And for the other girls?"  
"Hmmm,I just do this" and then lifts me up and starts kissing my neck with fervor,"woah okay stop I get it"


	11. Chapter 11

The day that Christian had been waiting for and the day I had been dreading had finally were supposed to head back to Seattle and pretend to be in love.  
Why did I ever get myself involved in any of this? A tiny voice inside my head tells me because I have fallen hard and fast for my bestfriend but I shut it up.  
I am bed but I know I soon need to get my lazy ass up or we would not be able to reach Seattle in time and I do not want to disappoint Grace or my mom since they have been looking forward to seeing us for a quiet a while.

I was alone in my was already dressed and had apparently left the room to get two coffees, one of which he now handed me.  
"You're a lifesaver." I sat up, keeping the sheet in place since it was I was feeling cold.

Christian glanced my t-shirt and then away. "Figured you'd need your caffeine.""You figured right." I smiled and then took a long grinned back, and it didn't feel forced. This wasn't as awkward as I thought it might be, after last night after the night that we could not help but kiss eachother again and again, Christian was giving it the name of practice but was that reallly it? Just practice? I don't think so and besides maybe for Christian kissing is no big of a deal since he has more fuck buddies then he can keep track of but for me kissing surely means something.  
"So we just have until noon today, then we pack up what's left and hit the road."

"Sounds good. Maybe I'll even get more studying in today."

Christian was acting a little too calm and collected. Like either he was cool with what had happened between us or he wasn't planning on bringing it up.

Fine with me. I didn't want to bring it up either.  
So why did I feel so unsettled, so unfinished? My stomach was in knots, and every time he looked at me with those beautiful and soulful eyes, those knots changed to flutters.

Flutters so fierce I felt them down to my toes.

I was afraid to admit that maybe he didn't think I was good enough for him. That I wasn't girlfriend material, after all. And I guess, really, I wasn't.  
We were packed and on the road in a little while.

"Mind if we go to a drive-through? I'm starving."

"Me, too," I said, and got comfy in my seat by removing my shoes and propping my feet up on the dash.

He pulled into a McDonald's and we got two burgers, sodas, and fries to share.

"After that greasy food last night and now this, I'm going to have to eat salads for the rest of the week," I said.

"See, that's the beauty of working out," he said, biting into his burger. "I can eat what I want as long as I work it off at the gym."

I ended up feeding Christian my fries, only because he grabbed my hand after it came out of the bottom of the bag. When his tongue touched my fingertips I held my breath.

"More, please," he said, gobbling up the fries.

"What am I, your servant today?" Heat was pulsing low in my looked so adorable. "Grab your own damn food."

"Hey, I'm the driver so it's only fair," he said yanking the fast-food bag onto his lap and digging in  
I had fed Christian food since we were little kids,We used to do everything together but now I just don't feel like my usual self around him anymore.I feel more aware of him in a way I was never before.

I wondered what this family would think of me and him together,will they approve?  
I think I am going absolutely nuts why am I even wondering this? its just a pretense and nothing more after all. 


	12. Chapter 12

The bright glare of morning sunlight streaming through the window awakened me from my sleep and I turned around and saw that Christian was still driving."Hey morning" he said in a way of greeting.I mumbled a hi too but I was too shocked had the poor thing been driving the the whole time after we reached and I had easily fallen asleep.

"Hey do you want me to drive?"I ask him softly but he shrugs it off and says we are nearly there.  
After what seems like forever we finally reach Mr and Mrs Grey's house.  
I have so many childhood memories of Christian and I from this house,today we will be entering this house as something different,something sacred something rare something passionate,we will be entering as lovers even the thought of it sends shivers down my spine.

Oh god its definitely going to be a long day.  
Grace comes out to greet Christian and I and Christian holds my hand in his since if we have to pretend then we must be touching eachother all the time.

"Oh my god sweethearts I can not believe my eyes,I always wanted you to like eachother like this but I thought you thought of eachother as siblings but this is a dream come true,Christian dear you have made me so happy,Ana is the most beautiful and kindest girl I know and she will make you a better person" Grace says sounding sincere and blood rushes to my face.  
"So I am not a good person rightnow mom?"Christian inquires.

"You are but you will become even better with Ana's help"she says while beaming at me.  
And on cue I start blushing fifty shades of red.  
When we finally enter the house the aroma of cupcakes hits my nostrils and I suddenly feel hungry.  
"Christian show Ana your room since I am sure you two will be sleeping together,and I know its not traditional and I should probably give you both different rooms atleast under my roof but I know you two must be used to sleeping with eachother and I can't sleep without Carrick even a day,I am so used to the feeling of his arms around me even though for Carrick and I its different I guess since we have been married for so long."  
I sigh,I would just like to get into bed with Christian and do nothing more.

Evening arrives and Grace has invited my parents to her house for a dinner,My step dad Ray is coming and Carla my mom is coming with her newest husband whose name is Bob.  
When my mom sees me she goes hysterical and starts to hug me so tightly that I thought I might pass out,Bob gave me a handshake and Ray gave me a hug.  
I smiled fondly at all of them thinking about just how blessed I am to have people around me who care for me so deeply.  
Christian came in the room and Ray told him that he is happy for us but if Christian breaks my heart then Ray would not hesitate to break his face.

But I guess thats not so bad because dads usually tend to make threats that just makes the guy run out of the room not like Mr Grey the hot shot CEO,the sexiest bachelor in Seattle a fucking billionaire would literally run out of the room just because of Ray's threat but still.

"Christian,why don't you sing a song to us?"Grace says pleadingly.  
"Gladly mom"he replies while smiling.  
Christian is great at the piano and has the most beautiful voice ever.  
I wondered what song he was going to sing.  
"This one is for you sweetheart"Christian points in my direction and then winks and my heart skips a billion beats.

"Dearest one do you remember when we last did meet?  
when you told me that you loved me..kneeling at my feet  
Oh how proud you stood before me,  
In your red dress,  
When you vowed to never go astray,  
Weeping sad and lonely,When this cruel war is over pray that we meet again"

And before I realize it tears are spilling from my eyes,he remembered,He sang my favorite song from Gone with the wind.  
And is this moment I come to realize that I love him to the moon and back.


	13. Chapter 13

The hard thing between his legs poked blindly, ramming into my inner thigh.

I fought, my lungs burning, but he was so strong.

I couldn't buck him off.

I couldn't get away.

Stop it! Get off me.

Don't touch me.

Oh, God .

please don't do that to me .  
I couldn't breathe, my lungs shuddering with sobs, my nostrils plugged by the heel of his palm.

Spots danced before my eyes; my chest burned.I fought again,needing air,desperate for air .  
"Wake up Sweetheart"I hear Christian's concerned voice and my eye lids instantly open.  
"What happened?"He asks.  
"Nothing bae it was just a bad dream"I say softly.

"Want to talk about it?"  
"Not really"I would rather not remember that dream again.  
His voice roared over me. Loud, sexy, and so richly decadent that I felt my limbs going loose with excitement. With arousal.  
I am nervous and unsure and how could I not be things with my past boyfriends never ended well and Christian is a player and now he has stolen my heart.  
Geez,I am in love with my bestfriend just fucking great!

Sure, I'd thought I was in love with Charles, but in retrospect I was willing to admit that there had been some major red flags in our relationship. Chief among them was his inability to keep his zipper up around other women.  
I wanted to crawl back into bed and forget but sometimes you just can not forget.

I guess I need to keep my new found feelings for Christian just to myself as telling him will just make things even worse.I was selling myself on that,my traitorous mind couldn't help going back to that moment when he'd stared at me.. Snarled at me want him more than I'd ever wanted anything.

If that was the look he gave all the girls, no wonder they were back here, desperate to get to him. No wonder they thought they had a chance with him.

He is such a player with a billion layers.  
Just then Christian wrapped his arms around me and murmured in his sleep the words that shocked me senseless "Baby,don't ever leave me".  
And I just crashed into him completely and kissed his forehead and lied down on his comforting hard chest.


	14. Chapter 14

Hey there guys! I am so sorry for not updating lately but I just got married a week ago and I am sure you all know how hectic newly married life can be..  
And we will be off to Greece in two days so I wanted to write something before I go on my honeymoon because then I will be quiet pre occupied with my husband ;) Love you all! xx

Fall was my favorite time of the year,The brutal heat of the Seattle summer had dissipated and left the air around me pleasantly warm, and more comfortable than stifling.I was taking my third walk of the day. With nothing to do other than sit and worry about my life and my feelings for Christian,I preferred to be outside, moving, rather than sitting in the grungy halfway house.

I rounded the corner of the block I had grown familiar with over the past several days, surprised I hadn't worn a path into the sidewalk by now. There was a small park across the street.

I considered stopping to watch the children playing, but kept going, knowing it would only dredge up memories that would make me cry.I couldn't quite believe things had ended the way they did.I felt conflicted being away from the compound, empty in a weird way. It was all I knew and I had never felt this way about my own bestfriend and now I just want to hold onto him forever.

I had become disillusioned with their whole way of life after my grandmother passed away four years ago. But there were certain things, and people, she'd miss.

I already missed the bustle of activity, always having someone to talk to.I missed Newyork too much and wanted to get back as soon as possible this pretending with Christian's parents was unbearable and too painful,the sun began to sink lower in the sky,I resigned myself to spending another night at the house.I'd come to despise it for no other reason than how alone I felt there which was crazy since Grace,Carrick,Christian and Mia were all there.

I turned right at the corner, surprised that I didn't recognize my surroundings.I'd been so lost in thought, and over-confident in my ability to navigate, that I hadn't paid attention to where I'd wandered.I turned in a circle, searching out a landmark, or street sign I'd recognize; but unfortunately it did little good.I was lost.I took a deep breath and willed herself to stay calm. But the facade lasted about two seconds.I had no one to call since my mobile was at home.I was completely and utterly alone, the realization was a stark one.


	15. Chapter 15

Why was life such a cunt at times and goodness what do I even do here all by myself?  
These were the questions that kept on coming in my head again and if someone tries to rape me?

I know you might think I am extremely paranoid or worse mentally unstabble but the truth is I was very close to being raped when I was only a kid of seven years,yes I know I am no longer the same old fragile me but such events do leave a horrible effect on your brain.I still remember the day as if it was yesterday,My parents were out and I was home alone and we had a creepy kind of a teenage boy across the street who used to come to our place and used to wash the cars on the weekend and by that way he used to make his monthly allowance,his name was Sean and just thinking about him gives me the creeps.

Hell that boy was creepy.  
He had knocked on the door and I was freshly out of the shower smelling of apricot because that was the scrub I used to use those I unlocked the door he was standing before me,his hair slightly disheveled and the first two buttons of his shirt were open in a total I don't care about what people might say because truly I do not give a fuck kind off way.  
His lips were curved so that he was partly smiling and his face was looking down right sinister and the minute my eyes met his I knew that he was up to no good and boy my sixth sense was never more right.

I was in a baggy pair of shorts which were light blue in color and hugging my body perfectly and I had white cotton shirt over which showed a bit of my cleavage but when your seven years old you basically don't have any breasts so its not like that my cleavage was the thing that lured him to me,his intentions from the beginning were purely evil.

Sean had leaned in close to get a whiff of me and told me that I smelled really nice and the dumb ass I was I still couldn't get it that he was sexually harassing me and that I need to bang the door on his face and run as far as possible.

He slowly opened the door wider and my eyes were bulging out of their sockets and suddenly I felt him press into me,at that time I was an innocent and every child is and I had no idea that the thing he was trying to press into me was a boner and the proof of him being sexually excited because of me, the thought just repulses me and thats why I haven't had sex with anyone yet because frankly I am just too scared and I can't let my old demons go.

As I was telling you before I lost my train of thought so that little fucker was mockingly smiling at me and then grabbed my hand and dragged me to the kitchen and I was becoming more and more bewildered by that,what wrong with him?

"Hey mom and dad aren't home so you can come back later?"I had said in a voice which was not much above a whisper.  
"Baby your so so so stupid,the reason I am here is because your parents aren't.I do not want to see them and its for the best that they are not home"He said while smirking at me in a sardonic way.

"Sean why would you want to see me?"I asked him because I was honestly surprised back then.  
"I..well ..Ana,I want to do this to you" and then he had started to plant firm kisses on my neck and was trailing the way down.  
I knew I had to stop him because his touch was just making me cry but when I tried to push him away,I was unable to move him since he was about ten years older than me and than an instinct older than age it self told me that he was interested in taking me out of my panties,I do not know how I knew back then okay maybe I used to watch movies but still so I tried running away but he was far too quick to catch me and I had started to sob "Please let me go!" I literally begged but he just became more and more determined and said not so fast,I am not done with you.

And that just made me cry more,his disgusting fingers started to unbutton my shirt and he took my shirt out and I had just stood there paralyzed with fear.  
Sean was looking at me appreciatively and that was making me sick and then he started to move his fingers around my nipples and then bent down and even licked them and like he wasn't satisfied with all he was doing he literally had to pull both of us on a couch in the living room,him on top of me while I kicked like my life depended on it because it just might bit my nipple and not in the fun way either but properly bit it and I screamed but as if he was anticipating that he covered my mouth with his hand so that no sound will be able to escape and then he just started to take his shirt off softly making it seem like we were lovers when in real I hated him with every ounce of my being.

Then again he began his torture and this time he hands went inside my panties and he started to rub patterns on my private place.  
I was startled and lay motionless and he easily took my shorts off and then planted his mouth of my vaginal opening and started to suck the motion shocked me to my very core and silent tears were coming out of my eyes.

I couldn't understand what exactly was happening then but I knew that it was very wrong.I prayed to god to send an angel and I think god listened because just then I heard footsteps but I thought I was going delusional because as far as I knew noone was in the house except the two of us but then I heard Christian's voice "Hey where are you Ana,I rang the bell several times and when no one answered I just came in through your window"

Oh I was so happy he was here! and just then I felt Sean move away from me and run probably because Christian was only four years younger than Sean and Christian knew kick boxing which made him much stronger than Sean and he would have kicked Sean's ass.  
And what was I doing you might ask? well I was sobbing silently into the pillow too afraid to speak.  
Finally after ten minutes Christian was able to find me and the sight he must have seen must have shocked him and I know it looked like I had been raped but thankgod there was no sexual intercourse.

Christian was my savior,His wide grey orbs met my blue ones for a second but then I looked down since I was too ashamed to face him."Hey look at me baby"He said softly.  
And so I did."Yes?"  
"What on earth happened Anastasia who was the fucker who did this to you?"

"Christian.."I said pleadingly.  
"Baby I need to know this"he said firmly but with a tenderness that I didn't know he possessed.  
"Christian I don't want to talk about it?"I had said literally begging him.  
"Tell me"He said while he started to pick my shirt up and started to put it back on me when I started to cry horribly again.

"Hey,hey"He said bewildered and then just picked me up and sat down and made my sit in his lap like a baby and I just started to hug him inhaling the scent of him because he smelled like safety.  
"Its going to be alright sweetheart"He promised and I had believed him.


	16. Chapter 16

When I woke the following morning, or afternoon as it were, it took me a moment to place the sounds coming from inside my apartment .My seven year old heart did a little happy dance in my chest at the thought of finding him in my kitchen.I stretched and went to investigate.

When I entered the kitchen,my bare feet thudding against the wood floor,Christian looked up and froze like he'd been caught doing something wrong."Hi," he offered, attempting to reassure me.  
My features softened. "Hi."  
Chirstian scanned the mixing bowls and ingredients spread across the counters, and the island covered in a dusting of flour. "Did you sleep okay?"  
My eyes wandered the length of Christian's bare chest and stopped at the trail of fine hair grazing his lower stomach and disappearing under his waistband.I cleared my throat and looked down at my hands. "Mmm hmm,"I stammered.  
He bit his lip to keep from chuckling. His muscular physique always got positive reviews from the opposite sex. And he was surprised to see that even after all I had been through,I still noticed him. He worked hard to keep in top physical shape, kick-boxing three times a week, lifting weights, and running the rest of the days. He glanced down at his naked chest and abs. His pants had slipped ever so slightly down on his hips, exposing his lower abdominals and the lines along his sides that formed a deep V at his hips. He tightened the drawstring doubling the knot.

Down boy. Now was not the time to get a hard on,He rarely wore anything to bed but had tugged on a pair of pajama pants last night just in case I needed anything in the middle of the night. That way he wouldn't have to fumble for his clothes in the darkness, or risk terrifying me with his naked manhood. He hadn't bothered with a shirt; he found the material too damn restrictive. He preferred the feel of his satin sheets against his bare skin — it was the one comfort he allowed himself.

"I'm making pancakes. I hope that's okay," I said I knew how to make pancakes when I was seven since my mom was never home so well necessity is the mother of invention.

A box of mix sat on the counter. "Of course that's okay. Thank you." Christian crossed the kitchen to start a pot of coffee, stepping around me and noticing how unaccustomed he was to having someone in his space, though it wasn't entirely unwelcome.

"Sorry, I didn't know how to operate that thing."I eyed the coffee maker like it had personally offended me."Come here, I'll show you." He said in a soft voice.  
Once I had wiped my hands on a dish towel and sidled up next to Christian, he couldn't resist guiding me in between himself and the counter, so I was closer to the coffee maker, he must have told himself.I sucked in a breath at the contact, but didn't protest, allowing him to maneuver my body as he pleased. He demonstrated how to add fresh beans to the grinder and then how to set the beans to roast, then brew. The coffee maker was fussier than he was used to,Neither of them moved away as the coffee began to drip into the waiting carafe.

A sudden vision of lifting my hair off the back of my neck and leaning in to plant a kiss on my soft skin danced through his mind. He was just inches from pressing into me, grinding his hips into my ass.I felt his cock stir and knew our lesson was over."Let's eat," he grumbled.I had stood in stunned silence as he stalked from the kitchen. He grabbed a T-shirt and threw it on before sitting down at the breakfast bar.I slid a stack of pancakes in front of him."Thanks." He cast a quick glance up at me probably thinking why he wants to kiss me since I am only a child,what he didn't know was that I was in love with him even always been and probably will always be.


	17. Chapter 17

The strange thing about love is that it just happens and you might be able to do incredible things in your life,like flying a helicopter or making mouth watering food,driving,painting going into any profession and being successful there but in love everyone is in a daze,a very enchanting daze,but still we are lost in a maze and there is no way you can ever get out of the maze.

When actually fall in love you have lost your heart for a lifetime and now it beats for someone besides your self.

When you fall in love your happiness is not the most important thing for you anymore,their happiness becomes the reason for your existence you just want them to smile and if they are smiling your simply happy just gazing at them.

I think I was in love with Christian even then,it just happened,it was puppy love,it was so as I was saying that day Christian was a different person all together,he made me breakfast probably taking pity on me since a child of seven years of age shouldn't have men like Sean trying to rape them,the thought alone send shivers down my spine and I thanked god for sending Christian at the right minute to be my knight in shinning armor other wise I was done for.

After eating he told me to come and sit with him on the sofa in a soft voice.  
He pulled me closer to himself and asked me in a voice which was not above a whisper that who was that boy?  
I knew he was asking about Sean so I just told him his name and whatever I knew about Sean because obviously I wanted to press charges of attempted rape on the fucker.

After that we just sat there,he told me his dreams in a soft heavy with sleep voice in other words the bedroom voice ,I at that time obviously didn't know it was the "just fucked voice".

The thing I liked about Christian was that since I was a little girl,he always treated me equally,others would treat me like a kid because I'm the youngest in my eight cousins and a lot of family friends are also older than me and most are married and when I was a kid that had a horrible effect because everyone would think "she is too young","You won't understand" but when Christian looked into my eyes with a burning passion and every time his eyes met mine something stirred at the pit of my stomach.

Christian was a boy I used to admire a lot when I was younger and I had a little crush on him too,I always wanted him to look at me in the way I looked at him.I remember getting all decked up before going to his house,taking care to do my hair properly when he would be around,I never used to wash the dishes but when he was at my place and in the kitchen with me,I washed the dishes more than a dozen times just to impress him and to show him that yes,I can take responsibility.

I remember how on valentines day,his parents and mine went out for a ball,the ball ended at four in the morning and since I was an only child my mum obviously did not want to leave me at home all alone so she left me at Christian's place and we watched cartoons together and when I was too tired to watched them anymore,he picked me and carried me to his bed and laid me down softly and then slept besides me.

All of these memories were making me smile like an idiot and suddenly being lost wasn't so bad if you could have a walk down memory lane,Another time I remember how we used to play dark room and how he sat on me thinking I was a cushion but I could not mutter a sound because if I did then I would loose,we used play hide and seek all the time and in a way its ironic but we are playing that even now.I know I love him but I do not have the courage to tell him because I am afraid of rejection,I am scared that he is beautiful and so fucking rich and he has everything and then there is me,Kate says I am a total babe but then she is my friend and friends say that all the time.

Once I was very close to telling him that I like him however he made it abundantly clear that he was play boy and didn't want a relationship that lasted longer than two weeks and since that day I knew he would never be the boy for me because I think of relationships as a permanent thing not a time pass however he thinks of it as a bus if you do not get down from one how will you reach your destination and you have to change a lot of buses to get to your destination usually.

He has slept with more girls then I can keep track of and then why not? He is gorgeous.

But every time he has a girl in his arms,I feel a sinking feeling in my heart,the worst was when he meet up for a family gathering when I used to be sixteen,I knew he would be coming to the dinner too,and I dressed extremely well and was looking forward to talking to him with every fiber of my being however a bucket of cold water was practically thrown over my face,when Christian came with a beautiful blonde,her name was Ashley,she used to go to Harvard with him,so yeah you can guess she was genius too,she was older than me and her body was better as well,her breasts were more firm and big where as mine were just a B then.I could see Christian stealing glances at her cleavage it was like someone was throwing knifes at me.  
Christian's parents also came to the dinner with him,they hugged me warmly and told me I looked pretty,I thanked them sincerely and then my eyes met Christian's.

For a second everything stood still not for him but for me it did.A smirk came upon his lips and turned his face into simply breath taking and he moved his slender fingers through his copper colored unruly hair in a frustrated manner and introduced Ashley to me,Ashley gave me a small smile and then started to again speak to Christian in an undertone,from the looks of it the couple was pissed at each other,and Oh dear I had never been happier.

Christian gave me a lazy grin while speaking to Ashley,and his gaze kept on lingering at my body,suddenly I had felt too hot,it was like I was standing their naked,like he could see right through me so I excused my self and went to the washroom to freshen up because it was all too intense in there,I needed a moment to think.  
When I got out of the washroom,I heard a noise from upstairs being the idiot that I was I went upstairs to investigate.

Never was I prepared for the sight before my eyes,the noise I had heard was of someone's shoe falling off and then I went ahead from room to room to see whose shoe it was,so that maybe I could give it to them,finally when I got to my room I thought I could hear someone whining so I went closer and suddenly it was becoming louder and to my horror it was not whining that I was hearing but full blown moaning,Who the fuck was fucking in my washroom? The thought filled me with venom.

I knocked on my washroom door and suddenly the moaning finished but I could still hear the heavy breaths of the couple inside and I told them to show their face at once other wise I would break down the door,I think I must have said that convincingly because slowly the door opened and I saw that it was Christian who was inside and who was now trying to button his shirt frantically and beside him was Ashley whose hair just screamed "I have been fucked" and her eyes were too bright and her cheeks were too pink.

I stood their frozen at first I did not even know what to say then I half shouted "did you just have sex in my washroom?".

"I am sorry Ana but we did,we did not want to use your bed because I knew you would not like that and you bathroom smells amazing,it smells of strawberries just like you and I well umm..love the scent and I thought it will be romantic for me and Ashley to um..have sex there"  
"You had sex in my washroom with someone?"I asked in a soft voice,my lips were already trembling.  
"Ana I do not know what the big deal is about,okay I promise you that when you want to have sex with your boyfriend you can have it in my car"Christian said with a smirk,why was he was so clueless? why couldn't he see that I was hurt,but boys are like that I guess.  
But I guess Ashley saw enough.  
"Christian Ana fancies you and can not stand the sight of me so I am going to leave" she said.  
"That is ridiculous,Ana does not like me"  
"Ana I dare you to kiss Christian on the lips rightnow for fifteen minutes only,Christian you will know by the end of the kiss if she feels anything or does not"

"...But you don't have to do it Ana if your too scared of your true feelings being revealed"she said to me with a snicker and the thing is I never back down from a challenge.

So I just pulled Christian's shirt and bought him closer to me and then planted my lips on his.

His lips were everything I had been dreaming of since the day I first laid eyes on him,his lips were soft but I knew they could be unbelievably rough just as quick,his mouth tasted of cigar and chocolates and our tongues were battling for dominance and I felt my knees going weak and eventually I had to put my arms around his neck for started to blow soft kisses on my nose and on my forehead leaving a hot trail of desire where ever he touched me.

After what seemed like an eternity Christian pulled away by that time Ashley was gone and Christian looked into my eyes softly a small smile was playing on his lips so you do like me? why didn't you say anything?

He asked me but I just gave a small shy grin and gave him another kiss this time on his cheek.  
He looked into my eyes sincerely and said "I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand, why storms are named after people so sweet Ana find someone better for your self,your too young".  
But what he didn't understand was that even if he destroyed me at least I would have known what true passion felt like even if it was to last for a few days,atleast I would know how his arms would feel around me and that is all I wanted.I would have died a thousand deaths just to feel his lips on mine again.  
"Ana if your mine even for a night,your body will never want any other man and I can not do this to you,you deserve happiness"He muttered with venom. 


End file.

Fifty Shades Trilogy, Drama, Romance