Mass Effect Always the Quiet Ones

Tali carefully picked her way up the dusty red scree of a hill one good landslide away from being a cliff.

"You owe me a raise, Shepard," intoned Garrus over the com, in a dry, long-suffering voice.

Incredibly, Shepard's driving had finally succeeded where hundreds of geth had failed. The Mako was dead. Garrus and Shepard had remained by the wreck, hoping against hope to find some way to get it at least mobile enough to crawl out of the steep valley they had landed in. Tali, who knew a lost cause when she saw one, had volunteered to take a look around for a spot level enough for a pick-up.

Shepard's voice, tired and apologetic, came in. "I'm sorry guys. I saw the cliff coming and hit the gas."

There was a moment of silence in which Tali nearly missed her next foothold, and then Garrus made a noise like a dremel kissing a belt sander.

"Spirits, _why?_"

"_Keelah_, Shepard."

Shepard again, defensive. "It wasn't intentional! Look, a driver's license isn't on the qualifications checklist for Mako operators."

This time Tali really did miss her footing,backsliding noisily down the slope. Garrus was stricken uncharacteristically speechless for a moment, but recovered quickly.

"From now on, I'm driving the Mako."

"Technically, you're not qualified."

"But I can drive. You're a Spectre; you can make it work."

The bickering faded into the background as Tali concentrated on making her way up the hill. The ground was treacherous, all loose slippery rock shards with the occasional hulking boulder she had to carefully work her way around. _Almost there. Just another couple of meters to go._ Above, the lip of the hill stood starkly backlit against the red-grey sky past a section of ground so steep it was nearly concave. A series of careful negotiations with the last bit of solid footing and a leap that nearly sent her all the way back down put her hands at the top. Gratefully, she hauled herself up, edging around a boulder sitting at the hill's crest, panting a bit from the exertion and near-miss.

No sooner had she cleared the top than a glint of metal caught her eye, a tearing explosion sounded from a little to her left, and something hot raced past her shoulder.

"Shepard! Geth incoming!"

Pulse beating like a hammer, she dropped back behind the boulder, breathing hard at the near miss. Over the com, there was a muffled thud and a curse.

"Roger that, Tali. Stay down and hold tight."

Staying crouched close to the ground, she waited for a break in the fire and carefully leaned out for a look. The geth were closing in fast, five that she could see filing out from a gap in the cliffs to circle the valley rim.

_This is very bad_, she realized, heart pounding at the base of her throat. Down in the valley below her, the overturned hulk of the Mako smoked. From this angle, she could see Garrus and Shepard's shadows drawn out behind it, pinned down under the geth fire. _They're trapped,_ she thought, chilled. _They'll never be able to make it up the sides without getting shot. It's up to me. Keelah._ A deep breath. _Come on, Tali'Zorah nar Rayya. You can do this._

Somehow, between spotting the geth and diving for cover, she'd slung her shotgun off her back and into her hands. She cradled it to her shoulder as she peered out again.

_If I take out the one on the left first, I might have time to make it to that rock pile. _

Two of the geth had moved out of sight now, heading for higher ground where they could circle around the valley and catch Shepard and Garrus on their other side. She didn't have much time.

She'd set the sights on the geth nearest to her hiding spot when the ground shuddered and her aim went haywire. A cold, yawning pit opened up in her stomach as it happened again, and again, and the enormous, spidery shape of a Colossus emerged from behind the cliff on the right.

_I have to do something, now!_

* * *

"This is bad, Shepard," said Garrus, somewhat unnecessarily. He sloped the barrel of his rifle across one of the Mako's remaining axles, trying to get a geth in scope without exposing himself. One of the geth noticed, and he whipped back down. A second later, they felt the Mako's frame shudder at the impact of a missile.

"Yeah. We're going to have to make a break for it before they can work their way around and cut us off. Tali, you still okay up there?"

To Shepard's intense relief, she came in immediately, sounding distracted and out of breath, but not panicked or injured.

"I'm fine for now, Shepard, but there's a Colossus up here."

_Crap._ "All right. Stay in cover. Don't draw their attention."

Christ. A goddamned Colossus, and Tali sitting right in front of it. Shepard always felt a little guilty at bringing her on missions that wound up like this. Logically, she was the best choice if he wanted security systems disabled or needed a machine clobbered into working right, and he knew she'd had training with that shotgun. But she was a really sweet kid. Bringing Tali into a firefight felt like punting puppies into traffic.

"Aha!" said Tali's voice over the radio, just as a cacophony of heavy weapons fire erupted over the hill. A horrified glance passed between him and Garrus.

"Tali! Come in!"

"A little busy now, Shepard."

* * *

Tali let out a triumphant whoop as the third geth went down. Her suit was flashing a lot of warnings about heart rate and adrenaline levels, but she couldn't bring herself to care at the moment. She felt _fantastic._

_I had no idea you could do this!_

Crouching low, she swiveled the gun up the rim of the valley, catching number four just before it got into cover. One more left.

_Come on, where are you, bosh'tet?_

Turning, she scanned the valley rim, and finally spotted number five, crouched at the side of the boulder she'd hid behind, drawing a bead on Garrus and Shepard. She slewed the gun around to it, but before she could fire, its head blew off to the familiar crack of Garrus' rifle.

_That's it. That's all of them!_

* * *

The gunfire stopped as suddenly as it had started. One last geth poked its head out from behind a rock at the top of the hill, and Garrus wasted no time in putting it down. Everything was quiet after that. Over the com, Shepard could hear Tali's breathing, fast but even.

"Tali! Are you all right? What the hell just happened?"

"Everything's fine, Shepard. They're all taken care of. I'm coming back."

"What do you mean 'all taken care of?'" he asked sharply, but the only answer he got was a scuffling sound through the radio and some distracted muttering in quarian that his translator decided was not worth the effort.

He nodded to Garrus, and they cautiously stood and made their way to the middle of the valley floor, heading to the hill Tali had disappeared up.

Halfway across, there was an ominous, familiar ground tremor, and all the adrenaline came rushing back as the head and neck of a Colossus rose over the horizon. There was only time for a shouted curse and a mad scramble back towards the cover of the Mako before the geth took another earth-shaking step, and Tali appeared, clinging tightly to the thing's shoulders as she keyed something into her omni-tool. They stopped and stared.

"Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" he muttered to Garrus.

Tali brought the Colossus to the edge of the hill, and it gave a distressed mechanical bleat. Absently, she patted its neck. "There, there," she said, distractedly, tweaking something on the omni-tool controls. Reluctantly, it folded its legs and slalomed down the hill, making an unhappy moaning sound all the way down.

Garrus' jaws shut with a snap of teeth and mandibles. "I don't know what you're seeing," he said, "but I'm seeing a replacement for the Mako."

While Shepard was still processing that, Tali dismounted from the Colossus and came racing over to them, babbling something excited about unsecured nodes and backdoors. Somewhere in the middle of it, his brain caught up to the idea that Tali, sweet, awkward Tali, had _hacked_ a Colossus and then gleefully climbed aboard and blasted an entire geth squad to scrap metal.

Garrus seemed to be having less trouble with the concept.

"Think it can carry all of us out of here to a pick-up location?" he asked.

"Shepard can come. But not you." She sounded like she might be pouting. "You stole my kill."

Garrus did the sharp and pointy turian version of a grin. "I'll do the alignments on your shotgun for you."

"Deal."

Shepard cleared his throat. "All right. Everyone up on the Colossus." God, that was weird to say.

Somehow, they all managed to get up there and cling to the thing's back as it lurched its way out of the valley, groaning miserably to itself. The excitement and terror of the fight were fading, replaced by relief that everyone had made it out in one piece. Another day, another mission success.

However, as they crested the hill into the bright red light and long shadows of the alien evening, Shepard could not help but reflect that this was probably not exactly what they had in mind when they mentioned riding off into the sunset.


End file.

Mass Effect, Humor