Glee 1. I Hereby Present This Book

_**Warblers,**_

_**Upon my departure from Dalton Academy, I hereby present to you this book in hopes of starting a new tradition. The concept of this book is to write anything in it, whether that is Warbler related, friendship related or school related; anything goes. It can be a letter to another Warbler, it can be a journal, it can even be used anonymously; nobody is forcing you to leave your name, though I do hope none of you –yes you Sebastian and Logan- use it to be a bitch about fellow Warblers. Anyway, where was I? Oh, yes, Well I'm giving you this book, treat it well and respect it.**_

_**Sylvia**_


	2. Rock Salt

_Dear Sebastian, _

_My rock salt supply is running dangerously low. I know you're riddled with demons and other terrible beings that don't allow me to be within ten feet of you, but please, see a real exorcist when it comes to these things because self exorcism is no laughing matter; How many times do I have to tell you the story of Prince Godfrey IV? If you want, I can lend you my list of exorcists in the area? I'd do it myself but even I'm not that good at exorcising such evil._

_Dwight._

_*Edit. _

_Well if I'd have know that my salts were to be used to blind one Blaine Anderson, I wouldn't have bothered with this letter. I would have hit you with a shovel instead._

_Not so kind regards, a very pissed off Dwight._


	3. Substitute Teacher

_Well today was what one could call entertaining, we walked into English only to find ourselves with a substitute teacher. We knew this could only go one way and that was the bad way. Well, bad for her. We found the whole thing hilarious of course, as we do most things. It all started when we brought out the nerf guns. Nine times out of ten, we keep them hidden in order to retain them for future battles; nerf guns simply don't belong in a cupboard with other confiscated things. They might get lonely. Anyway, we were hyped up on Alice's magical cookies, which he'd been baking all night, and figured it could do no harm. We sought out the Knave's blonde head and aimed, hoping to maybe make him jump or something. Unfortunately the teacher was the ancient crabby kind with a face like a mouldy grape. She was also incredibly quick and noticed our guns the second they were out of our pockets. She screeched at us – no really, she sounded like an eagle, it was freaking awesome/terrifying - and marched up to our desks._

"_Evan and Ethan Brightman, isn't it" She glared, wrinkles lining her forehead as she frowned._

_We just smiled at her, knowing it would piss her off even more, and it did._

"_The staff warned me about you two. "Watch out for the Brightman twins" they said" Cue more smiles, followed by an angry, harsh crack and she whipped a ruler on the table, barely missing our knuckles. She started shouting unintelligible bullshit, getting far too close to our faces._

_This of course was outlandish. We jumped up brandishing our nerf guns before shooting her several times: once in the neck, twice in the back, one in each arm and one in the foot. She screamed again, and we ran to the front, grabbing the stack of lined paper, marked homework and today's worksheets, flinging them in the air, laughing as they fell down like oversized confetti. _

_We successfully turned her lesson into a riot, before shoving her in a supply cupboard and pushing the heavy mahogany desk in front of it, shattering her chances of escape. In that moment, we were the heroes of that classroom. There were cries of "God bless the Tweedles!" and someone who sounded suspiciously like the White Rabbit shout "Well, Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dee finally did something productive!" _

_Or course what with all the chaos it didn't take long for the Dormouse to hurt himself. This time he gracelessly tripped over a chair leg – one laying three feet from the rest of the seat – and with no Shane to catch him, he howled out in pain. Now remember, Dormouse is a Warbler, meaning he's got a set of lungs and a half. So naturally, someone heard and that someone just had to be our beloved Windsor prefect, The Queen of Hearts, didn't it? _

_Well he came running and declared us under "Dorm arrest" So he basically wants to lock us in our room for the week, only allowed out for lessons and food._

_Is he really that stupid or does he want us to put him back in hospital again?_

_Well this turned out way too long anyway so I guess we'll leave it here..._

_Evan and Ethan_


	4. Just Kiss

_Dear Nick and Jeff, _

_Seriously, just kiss already. Do you know how awkward it is to be in a room with you too constantly shooting loveheart eyes at each other? It's like we're constantly fighting the urge to bang your faces together while screaming "NOW KISS"_

_Sincerely, The rest of the Warblers._


	5. My Everything

_Dear Kurt,_

_I love you so much; I can't put it into words. You are my everything and I never want to let you go. You are perfect. I don't know how I ever managed to get such a flawless angel but I did, didn't I? I'm so lucky to have you beautiful,_

_Lots of love, your Blaine xoxoxoxox_


	6. Music Block

_I finally just got back from the toilets, where I had to make an emergency dash to throw up at that last post, dear God. If I see another one like that ever again, someone please remind me to hunt down Blaine and strangle him._

_Still, moving on, I would like to use this book to make a complaint._

_I guess I'll start with the whole story, so here goes._

_Last night I couldn't sleep so I made my way over to the 'deserted' building that was the music block and found myself wandering the corridor, perhaps hoping to find the baby grand I once stumbled upon while exploring. I thought I could settle down and tickle the keys, not waking anyone due to the isolated nature of the music block._

_Well of course, I was wandering down a corridor and thought I had the correct room, only I opened to door to discover the building wasn't in fact deserted at all. There were two figures in the middle of the room, nose to nose, silhouetted in the light of the moon that was peeking through the hastily drawn curtains._

_I could see the moon reflecting off of the obscene amount of hair gel that coated his locks and groaned when I realised what I had disturbed._

_I also noted that they were naked. Fun fact: Kurt appears to be glow in the dark._

_So the whole point I'm trying to convey here is Kurt, Blaine, please, keep your sex life confined to your dormitory, and not out in the middle of the music block –fair enough it was midnight- where anyone can just wander in._

_Honestly, I don't think that image is ever leaving my head._

_I could probably pour bleach over my brain and let it stew and that mental image would still fucking exist._

_Ugh, thanks guys._

_Wes_


	7. Mad?

_Dear Wes, _

_U MAD? U JELLY?_

_Ahem._

_Blaine_


	8. Breakthrough

_Wes,_

_Did you just swear? Like seriously? I didn't even know the word 'fucking' existed in your vocabulary._

_This is outstanding; we appear to have a breakthrough. _

_David xx_


	9. To Put This Quite Simply

_Trent,_

_To put this quite simply, I love you._

_I love your sass and the way you aren't shy to be who you want to be._

_I love how you stand out in a sea full of identical blazers._

_I love how you will stand up for what's right, even if others don't always back you up._

_I love your face and how your eyes light up when you smile._

_I love how you treat everyone the same regardless of their differences._

_I love your adorable enthusiasm when you dance._

_I love how when you sing, it makes my stomach flip and fill with a gazillion butterflies._

_Again, I love you,_

_Anon. xoxox_


	10. Just In Case

_Thad, why did you even bother signing this as "Anon"? Everyone knows it was from you. Just fuck already. We made several hundred copies and filled his locker/dorm with them though, just in case your point wasn't strong enough,_

_Love ya bro, _

_Warblers._


End file.

Glee, Humor