Selection Trilogy, Kiera Cass 1. Prologue

_Prologue_

There was a time when everything was in shambles—the unrest between the north and the south as Gregory Illéa threatening to tear apart the country he tyrannizes; when Prince Damon died and his wife Abby Tamblin Illéa married his cousin Porter Schreave.

The reign was brought down to Clarkson Schreave, a man who simply had not enough compassion for his family but concern for a country he dictated over. There was still turmoil between the citizens, the highs and the lows on the mere caste system.

Prince Maxon, Clarkson's son, had his own Selection and that's when things started getting a little more heated up, for there was a Selection for him as well.

He chose America Singer, a former Five with a temper as fiery as her red hair. She was determined to take down the prejudiced system of a nation she loved too much. Her husband and she tried to eradicate them, however, circumstances would not immediately allow. It was a small start, though, when the Eights were off the streets.

Years passed and Prince Michael, the first son of Queen America and King Maxon and the crown prince of Illéa, turned nineteen. It was his turn for a Selection. Many ladies and eligible bachelorettes applied to be given the chance of a lifetime; however, only thirty-five are chosen.

Enter Tess Renaldi, a simple Three who thought she'd be devoting her life to medicine and science, not politics and monarchs. She decides to give this a shot, even though she thinks she doesn't have the slightest chance among thirty-four other beautiful women. Prince Michael was friendly enough; they struck up a friendship, but it was simply that. Tess tried, but she couldn't really see any romantic future for them.

Then comes Prince Matthew, dashing and debonair, though he'd never had a relationship prior to this moment. Arrogant and so full of himself, he knew at this time that he would soon find a lady; he just didn't know when.

One fateful night, Tess and Matthew meet, albeit accidentally. But isn't that what life is? A series of coincidences and accidents that lead to one thing then another?

The rules of the Selection, of course, are plenty, but one is the most important: no lady of the Selection should have any romantic endeavors with someone other than the prince, inside or outside of the palace.

Before they know, Matthew and Tess fall in love and they are in a possibly life-threatening conundrum. Then, as if the odds are in their favor, Michael Schreave eliminates Tess and she is free to stay at the palace for his brother. Then the tides turn again when Princess Madeleine of France is set to be betrothed to Matthew. No one, save for the crown prince of Illéa, knew that Matthew had already found someone else.

Through ups and downs Tess and Matthew managed, and everything seemed to be smooth sailing until the rebel attacks had been becoming more frequently. Again, maybe it was by accident, King Maxon told his children a story about the missing princess from Italy. Her name was Teresa Francesca Renaldi de'Medici. Coincidence? Absolutely not. This missing princess was Tess Renaldi, the Three that hadn't always been a Three after all.

Tess was the princess, and that made her more accepted as Matthew's girlfriend, fiancée (which was not mentioned yet, but it happened), whatever you want to call her.

The Grateful Feast arrived at the palace and the Italian royal family was there for the celebration. It was a bigger, grander affair than the usual annual holiday for the war with New Asia had finally come to an end. And this was also where the king announced that Tess was the Missing Princess of Italy.

When Tess and Matthew went to Italy for a little Christmas vacation. But when four royal parents find out that their children have been canoodling, nearly naked, in a waterfall...The vacation ends short. Well, at least for Matthew. Tess stayed in Italy to spend more time with her biological parents and her older brother, though she certainly wanted to be with Matthew.

It finally came the day to fly home, and both the prince and the princess were anxious to see each other again. Just when they thought they'd reunite, Tess's plane crashed in Carolina.

She woke up with no memories of who she is, where she is, _what _she is, but only with a new fear of flames that engulfed her ride home. She ran through the woods and found a quaint little home in a province called Carolina, where she found a family—the Legers. Little did she know that the parents—Aspen and Kriss—had stories that intertwined with the king and queen's. She stayed with them for a while, trying to get used to the country named Illéa with the odd caste system.

Prince Matthew, meanwhile, started a search to find the love of his life. They found Tess at the Leger household, bringing her and the Legers to the palace as a form of gratitude. Kriss and Aspen, apprehensive as ever to return to the palace, agreed, for no one can really deny a royal.

They arrived at the palace, and in short, America had a breakdown at the revelation that her first love—that she thought had died in the war at New Asia years ago—and a former candidate of Maxon's Selection—and also probably America's toughest competition—were married with two children.

The Legers wanted to go home after another rebel attack, a most unusual one at that. Tess followed a guard, though he wasn't really—he was a former Southern rebel, but he was left in Italy after he ambushed Tess and Matthew's plane. He returned to Illéa and joined the more lenient Northern rebels. And, maybe the worst part, Luke Danielson was Tess's best friend. The tough betrayal made Tess even more cautious than she was.

Luke led Tess to the Northern rebel leader, who turned out to be Gerad Singer, the queen's younger brother. Everything seemed more unpredictable than it already was.

There was a few weeks of peace and happiness, however, when Prince Michael and Evelyn Raia got married. The crown prince and his princess left Angeles to spend their honeymoon in Honduaragua.

As the weeks flew by, Tess and Matthew grew closer and closer. Tess decided that maybe she could fall in love with Matthew again.

Remember Princess Madeleine? Her vengeful father, King Henry X, attended Prince Matthew's birthday party on the twenty-fifth of March to discuss the matters of Matthew rejecting Madeleine. However, the French king was sent away immediately. It was Matthew's nineteenth birthday.

Days were spent lounging around the palace (as best you could lounge in a palace with a million guards posted every square foot and maids and butlers bustling around like bees). Tess was so close to saying the three words to Matthew, when a tragedy struck.

Michael and Eva in Honduragua were killed by a bomb. But who dropped it?

The answer: France. But why?

So, Matthew, the now-crown prince of Illéa, and his father, King Maxon, left the country to have a series of meetings with King Henry. It would last about six to seven days, they said—enough time before Tess's own nineteenth birthday on the twenty-fifth of April.

While that happened, Tess began her first philanthropy project: the Tess Renaldi Cancer Foundation. On top of that, she was the head of the Caste Placement Tests, an examination to be able to escape your caste and move up, if you choose. As it was, more than ninety-five percent of Illéa's population was either a One, a Two, a Three, or "casteless" for those in boot camps to refine their talent and reapply. Since it was already this way, it was deemed that the castes were pointless, and announced that the castes were eradicated. Joy in Illéa! Finally.

In the meantime, in the Palace of Versailles, Matthew came face to face with Madeleine again, a very cold reunion. The meetings were even more so. Matthew met up with Prince Alexander, the Dauphin of France, on the sixth night. They discussed a peace treaty where Illéa got to choose all of the circumstances, plus a section of Honduragua, excluding the property owned by Maxon's ill mother, former Queen Amberly, as discussed the day before. However, not everything turned out as planned when King Henry turned down Honduragua and proposed (no pun intended) the idea that Alexander marry Princess Alexandra, one of Illéa's twin princesses. Henry needed a definite heir, as his health (and state of mind) was declining, and only a married prince could assume the throne.

King Maxon surprisingly accepted the circumstances, either out of pity or desperation. So, the current, if the least bit resolved, situation is that the Dauphin shall marry Princess Alexandra Schreave, France leaves Illéa alone as their "alliance" will grow due to the marriage, and France destroys all of its nuclear (while a very sharp-eyed Illéan official watches).

Everything seems great, fixed even. Nothing is like the shambles Illéa rose out of.

Except...

Matthew has a heart defect. No one quite knows what it is or how it came to be, but everyone is hell-bent on finding out after Matthew blacks out.

Tess is more confused and concerned than ever.

America knows _exactly _what's happening; she's seen it before.

Will they be able to deal with the new situation with France and the engagement? And, above all that, will they be able to find a cure for Matthew before it's too late?

Is this just the beginning of the end?


	2. Chapter 1

_Tess's POV_

_One week later_

I pace back and forth Queen America's office. Pacing is more of Matthew's thing, but I decided two and a half minutes ago to assume the stress-relieving activity. _Goodness gracious, Matthew... Where are you? What in the world is happening?_

I feel like I've been living under a rock! And that's not supposed to be taken lightly considering the fact I've been living in a palace.

"Your Majesty, I'm really sorry to ask again, but what's happening now?" I ask for what seems like the billionth time. (It's actually the one hundred fifty-seventh.)

Queen America holds up a finger to her lips signaling me to be quiet. I take a deep breath but don't dare exhale it. The queen says quiet, I'll be quiet. I sit on the couch next to her as she listens to the person on the other line. She nods periodically, and every time she opens her mouth to say something, she ends up closing it again.

Finally, the queen says, "Okay, I understand. Thanks for the update...So you'll be back tomorrow?...Okay. Love you. Bye." She hangs up and turns to me. Her casual sitting position makes me want to slouch myself. Her legs are tucked underneath her, and she wrings her hands for a moment. "That was Maxon. Their flight is tonight, and he and Matthew are coming back tomorrow."

At that, I sit straight up. "What time?"

"At one in the afternoon, I believe, considering they don't have any flight inconveniences."

I nod, chewing the inside of my lip. I hate not knowing anything. It's annoying and frustrating. Call me selfish, but I just need to know things. It helps me anticipate and expect occurrences. I hate the unexpected. I'm just hating this whole ordeal and...

"Tess," the queen says. I realize I have her silk throw pillow in a threatening grip. I actually think I ripped the seam a little. I loosen my jaw and set it down.

"I'm sorry. I just..." I laugh a little. I can't really explain everything I'm feeling into a coherent sentence.

She moves closer to me and gives me a hug. I can't tell whether it's for her sake or not, but I accept it, trying my best to properly hug her back. My forehead rests lightly on her cheek. "Do you know what's happening?" I ask like a curious little child, looking up at her.

Her ocean blue eyes flicker to the phone, thinking I didn't see it. "No," she says, her face straight and eyes on the throw pillow behind me. "I have no clue. Let's just hope they'll get home safely."

Note to self: Queen America is a terrible liar.

* * *

_America's POV_

I hate lying. I can't do it anyway, but the fact that I have to do it so many times...

I do know what's happening. Matthew just told me not to tell Tess. He said he'll tell her himself, but who knows when. Maybe when he's close to...

My father died of a heart disease that ran in the family. No one knows what it is, but it must have been passed down to Matthew. I can't help but feel guilty. If I wasn't his mother, he'd never have this horrible illness. Then again, he would have ceased to exist.

I can't help but feel the same overwhelming sadness when my father and my son died. I can't bear to have another family member taken away from me. So I release Tess and start to write a letter. She must have taken that as her cue, even though it really wasn't, but she says, "Good night, Your Majesty."

I'm too far gone within my letter to say anything back.

_Dear Illéan Medical Research Corporation,_

_My son, Prince Matthew, has a heart disease. We do not know what it is, but please, as your queen, I ask you to research for a cure. If not, find one. My father died of the same disease, and I believe it is genetic. Please reply quickly. I think that Matthew has at least three years left as my father had, but I do not know. _

_If you recommend anything, do not hesitate to send another letter. Send as many letters as you like. Please._

_Cordially,  
Queen America Schreave of Illéa _

I ask the guard outside to deliver it to the mail room, and I sit on the edge of my desk. I pray to God to bring Maxon and Matthew safely home. I don't want to lose anyone anymore. But I kill the thoughts. I can't afford to think like that.

So, instead, I do something else that needed attention anyway—organizing Tess's birthday party. I've already sent the invites—with help from Matthew, Rilane, Alexandra, and Maria, of course. Tess already said she wanted a party with just her families here at the palace, and that isn't a problem at all, even though she has technically three families. But I decided I want to plan something a little more grand. I know fancy and elaborate isn't really my thing, but it's my future daughter-in-law's nineteenth birthday. I have a gut feeling to go all out.

Tess isn't really the girl I expected her to be. I pegged her as more of the quiet, mischievous type, but she turned out to be a sarcastic girl with a witty sense of humor who always wants to smile and laugh. It's infectious.

So, here I am, trying to decide on a theme for the party; if a theme is even needed at all. Then I come up with the perfect kind of party for a quasi-mischievous, mysterious girl: a masquerade ball.

* * *

**Hey guys! Glad to be back in the writing business! I'm so excited to write for you guys again. If you've read the stories that precede this, thank you so much for still reading my stories! It means a lot to me. :)**

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**martinezsami11- THEY MIGHT POSSIBLY FIND A CURE BUT IDK THE RESEARCHERS COULD BE SUPER FREAKY AND NOT COMMITTED AT ALL AND MATTHEW COULD DIE MWAHAHAHA IT'S NOT A SPOILER OR FORESHADOWING I'M LISTING THE POSSIBILITIES :) THANKS SO MUCH!**

**ilona18- I do like heart-wrenchers :P But not as much as I like reviewers like you!**

**LittleMissTori- Your username gave me an image of either this perfect adorable little girl or this super badass chick who prefers to go by "little miss Tori". Idk I have a weird imagination :) **

**bubble4life- Awwww Matty boy isn't really arrogant or haughty. He just wants somebody to love :P P.S. I love being omniscient. **

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**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	3. Chapter 2

**Oops! I totally forgot to dedicate my last chapter back from the reference game! So this one goes to ilona18! Oh, pipes15 if you're reading this, you can submit a character because you got more than three references in my reference game in The Fire. **

***ALSO VERY IMPORTANT: PLEASE READ MY AUTHOR'S NOTES BECAUSE YOU MIGHT TOTALLY BE MISSING SOMETHING. You don't have to necessarily read my replies to every review, but the other things are a little important. For example, a lot of people asked me if I was going to write this story, and to be honest I told people in at least six chapters that I would. I also gave some teasers in those A/N. I'm not being snobby. I just think it's more convenient for you as a reader to find out immediately what's going to happen. Sorry if this seemed lazy of me or whatever.* Happy reading!**

_Matthew's POV_

I sit on the plane with my glass of apple juice untouched on the table. I can't have wine or any alcohol anymore, according to the doctor. Then again, she was speaking in rapid French, so maybe I didn't catch her words correctly in my already bleary state of mind. Ugh, even my attempt to drink alcohol is pitiful.

"Matthew, are you alright?" Father asks from across me.

I turn my eyes from the clouds outside and turn to him. "Yeah. Yes. I'm okay."

"Matthew, if you need anything at all—"

I smile. "I know, I know. I'll make sure you're the first to hear of my pleas and complaints."

"Stop being sarcastic, son. You're in critical condition."

"And _that _is the wrong thing to say, dear Father. If I'm in critical condition, let me be sarcastic. Please?"

He cannot deny, and he nods a little dejectedly. "Of course."

I smile at him, just to be kind and polite, and look outside again. The sky outside is blue, like my mother's eyes who I can't help but miss every minute that passes. The clouds are thin and thick at the same time, like different kinds of wool. The early ray of sunlight streams through the clouds of wool, gracing the wings of our airplane with light, like the first gentle stroke of a bow on a violin.

Nature suddenly seems so wondrous and more majestic all of a sudden. After I blacked out, I woke up, six days later, in the hospital wing of the Palace of Versailles. Every nurse they had seemed to be attending to their one and only patient. They gave me medicines and attached a pacemaker to my chest to help me with my arrhythmia. The nurse said I could bring it home. Yay! Souvenir!

As if my heart decides to act upon my thoughts, I can hear the rhythm in my ears. "How's that machine of yours?" Father asks.

"Oh, you know. Pumping my own heart for me because my shitty heart can't do its own job."

"Matthew," he scolds, but his concerned brown eyes betray his words.

"How long did Grandpa know before he passed?" I ask again, ignoring the admonition.

"Three years. However, that does not mean that's how long you'll have. It may be longer."

"Or shorter," I mutter, sliding a little down my seat.

Father sighs. "Stop being so depressing, Matthew."

"Why? Should I be happy that I have who knows how long until I die?"

He opens his mouth, but closes it once more. _Yeah, that's what I thought._

The flight attendant comes to check on my pacemaker to make sure it's still functioning properly, then announces to us, the advisers, and Prince Alexander, who is snoring silently across the aisle, that we will be landing in a short while. I finish my apple juice and put it in the garbage bag the flight attendant holds. I feel like a child. Even more so since I want alcohol, and I'm not allowed any.

I look at my father. He is sitting across from me, a mere three feet away (give or take), and yet, he has never felt farther from me than now. I feel like I left him in France. He seems so distraught, more tired than when he stayed up past three in the morning to work. He has already lost one son. How will it feel like to lose another?

For once, I just want to be selfish, so I ask for a notebook and a pen. I write the title with a lovely flourish, if I do say so myself.

_The Matthew Schreave Bucket List (MSBL)_

I try and think of things that I haven't done yet. I also consider things guys my age would do. I start writing.

_1\. Ride a roller coaster with a loop._

_2\. Sneak out with your girlfriend and pretend to be a regular._

_3\. Go to a fair. (Note: Face fear and get balloon animal from a clown.)_

_4\. Speak in different languages for a whole day._

_5\. Spend the whole day in pajamas._

_6\. Bake a cake and cook a meal for the whole family._

_7\. Watch a "chick-flick"/super girly movie because your girlfriend insisted._

_8\. Learn how to do a back flip._

_9\. Go bungee jumping and/or zip lining._

_10\. Go water skiing._

_11\. Go paragliding. _

_12\. Sail._

_13\. Drink milk during every meal for a day._

_14\. Use the word "like" out of context (Reminder: How Rilane uses it)._

_15\. Eat no meat for a whole day._

_16\. Stay up all night._

_17\. Wake up at noon. _

_18\. Gossip._

_19\. Monologue and pull a "Romeo"._

_20\. Go on a cruise and see a volcano._

I'm sure the list will keep on growing, but we're already landing. "Father, what time is it?" I ask.

"About nine-fifteen."

"What's the date?"

"April twenty-fourth."

"That's enough time to plan Tess's party, correct?"

"Actually, I think your mother has that take care of."

I smile, suddenly more excited to go home. "Are the guests on their way."

"The guests are on their way."

I check my bucket list again, the words becoming a faint scrawl as my eyes lose focus. I smile to myself. I'll be able to do a lot of these within the next forty-eight hours. Killing about six birds with two stones is what they say, right?

* * *

**So, if you guys want to add anything to his bucket list, be sure to let me know! (Oh and by the way, don't hate on the cover because that violin is my baby :P)**

**Thank you again for the reviews!**

**agb1700- Haha AMAZINGER can be our thing :P Thanks! Lurve ya! **

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**LittleMissTori- Hahaha that's hilarious. There was this one time I reviewed with five different names once :P Lol it was for that story called Rebecca I think. I forget. *face palms and tries to look the story up but finds out it requires effort and more button clicking* Thanks so much for reviewing!**

**prnamber3909- *sighs in relief* THANK GOODNESS!**

**martinezsami11- ACK EVEN I DON'T KNOW THE ANSWER TO THAT ONE! HAHA JUST KIDDING TRICKED YA OF COURSE I KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN MWAHAHAHA AND THANK YOOOU FOR EVERYTHING!**

**Kiren- There was a reference game in "The Fire" that started I think around Chapter 40. I just put a bunch of book and movie references and I challenged people to find them. If they got 3 they'd get two updates in a row dedicated to them. 3 or more, they get that and their own character.**

**ilona18- Haha yep! Hope you're ready! Thanks for reviewing!**

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Yeah, a lot of people seemed to miss that :P Thanks so much!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	4. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Selection Trilogy. All rights go to Kiera Cass.**

_Tess's POV_

I wake up at nine, thirty-seven precisely, curled up in bed, the sunlight brushing my face like a feather. Matt's pillow is starting to smell like me. It's so weird to think about it, but it's almost a combined scent. His sweet and spicy smell mingled with my fruity shampoo, giving me something I like to think as a very alcoholic piña colada.

He's coming home at one o'clock, Queen America said. That is, without any inconveniences. The rebels won't be a possible threat anymore, but there could be engine failures, unexpected turbulence, a storm they aren't ready for, a giant flock of birds that won't get out of the way, there are so many possibilities! I realize I've been hyperventilating and clutching the blankets in my hands like I can't bear to let it go. I release it from my grip, thinking _I really need to get a stress ball._

Someone knocks on the door, and for a second I'm thinking that the plane actually took off early. I run to the door, the sudden motion making my vision bleary, and I open it, but finding only Christina, my maid.

"Good morning, your highness," she says hesitantly.

I rub my eyes and try to wipe the disappointment from my face. "Good morning, Christina," I say.

"I'm sorry to wake you up, but you're needed at the Dining Hall for breakfast."

This is odd. The queen usually lets me sleep in. I frown. "Why? What's wrong?"

Christina shakes her head vigorously, looking worried and scared altogether. "No, no! Nothing's wrong! Just..." She bites her lip.

"Your highness, I have a new dress for you!" Margaret, my other maid, says, coming to a stuttering Christina's rescue.

I have to at least pretend I'm not suspicious, so I clap excitedly. "I'm sure you girls did a marvelous job! Like always."

"Why, thank you, Princess," Margaret says smoothly. "Now come along. Wouldn't want the, er, queen waiting."

"Yes," I mumble. "Wouldn't want the queen to wait."

I go to my room through the adjoining door, and sure enough, there is a brand new dress. It's very cute actually. Not the dress. Well, that too, but the fact that my maids are keeping a secret from me. It's not supposed to be endearing, but somehow it is. It's like they know me enough to be able to joke with me like this. And they expect me to trust them.

So I let Margaret, Emma, and Christina dress me up. They actually put makeup on me. Usually, it's just powder or something, but they're putting on the full regalia of cosmetics. They put shimmering eye shadow the color of cocoa beans that compliment my tan skin. A light red lip gloss is swept across my lips and I look so...royal. Emma leaves my hair down, but braids several pieces and weaves into a headband. It's enchanting to see her nimble fingers arrange my hair like a work of art.

My dress is nothing short of spectacular. It's red, like the shade of my lips, except there's something about it that makes it shimmer and sparkle in the light. It's knee length and the skirts swish as I walk in it. The top is a different story. It looks like it was transported from Ancient Greece! The left part overlaps the right and crosses underneath each other, forming a halter that ties around my neck.

"Girls, this is lovely," I say, admiring how it looks on me in the mirror. I'm rarely this narcissistic, but come on. I look like a princess. "This is _really_ lovely." I turn to them, my fingers feeling the fabric. "But why am I dressed up so special for just breakfast? I mean, Matthew's not coming until one o'clock, right?"

"Here are your heels, Princess!" Emma says, shoving a pair of black pumps in my arms. "Put them on! Hurry!"

"I don't see what's the rush," I grumble. "It's just breakfast."

"Please hurry, your highness," Christina urges again while putting diamond earrings on me.

"Yes, Princess. You have to hurry up," Margaret seconds as she tucks stray hairs into my bun.

They release me and I stand with my arms crossed. "If you call me 'princess' or 'your highness' one more time,"—my face breaks into a smile when I see their panicked expressions—"then I'll never listen to you girls again." I give them separate hugs. "Thank you girls so much."

I practically run to the Dining Hall. I don't see what's so important. As I wait for the guards to open the door, I can sense something's off. Oh, no. Matthew and King Maxon's plane.

I burst through the doors. "What is it? What happened? What's wrong?" Everyone stops in their tracks. Well, actually, everyone hides their smiles through pursed lips. Even the maids! "This isn't funny."

"No, love, but you are definitely making things comedic."

No. Freaking. Way.

I whirl around, and there is Matthew, standing with his hands in his pockets. "Surprise!" everyone yells. I stand there, gaping like my jaw won't work, and see King Maxon as well.

He pats my shoulder. "It's great to see you too, Tess." He gives me a light hug and joins his wife at the table.

I still can't grasp this. "Wha—? How?"

"Our flight left early. We got here several minutes ago," Matthew says, walking slowly toward me. I can't help myself—I break into a run and wrap my arms around his neck.

"You're here," I whisper in his ear. "You're really here. And you're safe and fine and—"

He laughs and I laugh too. I missed that sound too much. Matt puts his arms around me tight and our chests are flush against each other. My toes are barely touching the ground as he lifts me up to match his height. "I missed you too, love."

I'm laughing and crying, and I'm a frenzy of emotions, like wild animals that have been caged for too long. I pull back a little to look at his blue eyes. I rest my forehead against his and I just laugh again. "I missed you so much, Matthew." I don't really care who's watching anymore. I kiss him with everything I have, all the love I can give.

"Ahem," someone says.

Shit.

"We'd like to eat our breakfasts without throwing them up," Jerome says.

I giggle anyway and Matt sets me down. We walk to our seats hand in hand, and I still can't stop smiling. I wipe the tears from my face. "Um, sorry about that," I say as I reluctantly let go of Matt to eat my food, though my appetite isn't as big anymore. I'm more than sated.

They talk about the conferences and as Matthew talks about the deal they've made, I find it hard to focus on the actual words he's saying. I just missed all of him—his voice, his laugh, his smell, his beautiful blue eyes, his hair that tumbles past the tops of his ears.

Then everyone's silent. What just happened?

I look where everyone's looking—the double doors that have just opened for a young man, probably around Matthew's and my age. I don't think I've ever met him before. He has apprehensive green-gray eyes that survey the room analytically. He uncomfortably runs a hand through his neat dark hair and says in a heavy French accent, "Good morning."

"Good morning," we say in confused tones. Well, "we" excluding Matthew, the king, and surprisingly, Jerome.

The Swendish prince grimaces. "What is _he_ doing here?"

"That is one facet of our deal we forgot to mention," King Maxon says as the young man takes the empty seat next to Alexandra. "In order for the French king to comply, we had to agree to one of his circumstances."

"Which was...?" Rilane says.

The king's mouth settles in a straight line. "His son, Alexander, the Dauphin of France, must marry Alexandra."

Alexandra drops her spoon and her book, the tray of jelly-filled pastries flying behind her. "Hey! I was going to eat those!" Jerome says petulantly as the maids flock over to clean it up.

"What do you mean he _must_ marry me?!" Alexa says, fury searing in her eyes. "You know what? I don't even want to know." She stands up, the seat nearly toppling over, and stomps out in a blaze of anger.

"Well," Jerome says. "That escalated quickly."

"Jer," Matt whispers. "Not the time."

He nods and Prince Alexander stands up. "It is okay. I wasn't very hungry anyway. I'll go talk to her."

Actually, that might not be the best thing... Everyone has this written all over their faces, but no one tries to stop him. He rushes out to find the girl he's forced to marry.

We all finish our breakfasts. It's quite clear we just want to leave the room. "Hey," Matt whispers, his lips brushing my ear ever so slightly. "I need to talk to you about something."

"Yeah, me too," I say.

So we inhale our foods and rush to his room. He smiles. "Ah, my own room." He jumps on his bed and inhales deeply. Then he sits up and breathes again. "Tess?" he asks slowly.

I purse my lips. "Yes?"

"Have you been sleeping on my bed?" he asks as I approach him.

"Well, I kinda missed your, uh, smell."

Matt sits on the edge of his bed and puts his arms around my waist. "Just my smell."

I nod teasingly. "Yes, just the smell. You can go again once you've told me your cologne."

"Hmm, is that so? You don't want to keep me around?" He rubs his thumb on my lower back, and I'm sure he can hear my heart racing.

"Yes," I say, my voice quivering as he runs his hands up and down my arms, giving me goosebumps. I slip off my shoes and they awkwardly thud when they hit the carpet.

He pulls me down to his level, forcing me to straddle his thighs. "You don't want this?" He slowly kisses my neck, making his way up my ear. "Are you sure you want me to go away again?" he whispers, his breath hitting my ear, making the hairs on the back of my neck rise.

"God, just kiss me already," I complain. I can feel his smile against my ear, and I bury my hands in his hair and pull his lips to mine.

I feel like a myopic who just got her glasses. I can see everything so clearly again. The kiss feels so right, so long-awaited. It quickly changes from our slow and comfortable pace to something deeper and needier.

"Did I tell you," Matt says in between kisses, "how spectacular you look in your dress?"

I smile against his mouth. "Did I tell you how much I love you?"

He pulls away quickly and stares at me. "What did you say?" he says breathlessly.

I put my hands on his neck, my left hand feeling his loud and oddly irregular pulse. I ignore it, though, as adrenaline surges in my veins, getting ready for my confession. "Matthew, I read your letter."

His face falls. "I knew you'd hate it and—"

"It was so beautiful. I loved it so much..." I pause and look at him in the eye. "But I love the man who wrote it himself so much more."

Matt smashes his lips against mine, desperation and need pulsing between us. He carries me to the center of his bed and lays me down ever so carefully. I take off his suit coat and immediately work on his button down. He throws it to who knows where in the room. I pull away to get a glimpse of his sculpted chest. He makes any statue look like a sumo.

I run my hands on his arms, to his chest, to his back. My fingers trace the scars, and he closes his eyes. "Does it hurt?" I ask gently.

He shakes his head. "I'm just worried you're disgusted."

I smile and kiss him, softer this time. "Never."

He opens his mouth, but decides against saying whatever it was he was going to say. Then he says, all in one breath, "Can you say it again? Please?"

I smile and his fingers find the tie to my haltered dress at the back of my neck. "Matthew Sebastian Schreave," I pause for dramatic effect.

"You remember my full name," he notes with a smile as he unties it completely.

"I love you with all of my heart and all of my soul. I never thought I could love someone this much, but I do. You are so handsome and so kind and so selfless. You always think of others before you."

He hesitates. "Not really."

"Will you just accept my profession of love?" I ask, putting my hand on his cheek.

He chuckles. "Go on."

"And I love you more every day. When you were in France, my heart threatened to tear apart because it missed loving you while you were so close. And I wanted to gouge my eyes out because I though, heck, if I can't see you then I don't want to see at all. I love you. So much."

He smiles, slowly but surely, and he bends down to put his lips on mine. "I love you too, Tess. I will love until the infinities diminish to the number zero, and I will still love you."

Matt holds the straps from around my neck and looks at me, silently asking for permission. I nod hesitantly. He pulls me up into a sitting position. He pulls the top of the dress down using the straps. I am silently thanking my maids for putting me in a strapless bra. This is better than nothing at all.

"You're so beautiful," he murmurs. He sets me back down again and kisses my collarbone. "I want to make you feel—" He kisses my stomach. "—like you've never been loved before." He looks up at me through his bronze eyelashes. "I want to make you want things you didn't know you wanted."

I'm breathing heavily as he kisses my long, ugly scars on my stomach. I shiver and shut my eyes. "Do they hurt?" he says, brushing it carefully with his bottom lip.

I shake my head. "I'm just worried you're disgusted."

He shakes his head, his nose touching the sensitive skin. "Never."

I pull him back to my lips because I feel so deprived right now. We move in synchronization to each other's bodies so I'm on top of him. My long black hair makes a little curtain for us, separating us from the outside world. Matt rubs my arms with his hands. "Is this a dream?" he whispers.

I lean down and brush my lips against his. "I hope not."

* * *

**Whew. I'll answer to the reviews tomorrow. So sorry to be lazy again, you guys, but it's midnight and I'm unnecessarily exhausted.**

**I hope you liked this very "Messy"/Mattess chapter! And thank you so much for the reviews. I can't believe there are already this many! Thank you guys so much. I love you more than Matthew loves Tess. And that's saying something. **

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	5. Chapter 4

_Matthew's POV_

I cannot think of a happier moment than now since Michael's death. I finally feel so safe and stable. I am a lost traveler that has found a map on the side of the road. Tess's head lays on my bare chest, and for a moment I'm worried that she'll hear my irregular heartbeat. I hate the pacemaker. I don't want to be a piece of a machine. I don't want to be weak.

I want to tell Tess, I really do, but at the same time, I don't. I want her to know, but I just can't break the news to her. Especially now that she's in love with me and so happy. If she knows that I'm on the brink of death, she might leave me because it might be too hard for her. I don't want her to leave. I can't allow that possibility. I hate being in pain, but I hate causing pain even more. I don't want to be that piece of shrapnel in people's lives.

"Matt, are you okay?" Tess asks, looking up at me, her hand still on my stomach.

I smile and kiss the top of her head. "I love you. A lot."

She smiles. "I love you too." I will never get tired of those words leaving her mouth. Her eyes sparkle like diamonds in an endless cavern.

Suddenly, I remember something. I reach into the pocket of my pants and take out her necklace, with her ring still on the chain. "I take it that you might want these back."

Her smile reaches her eyes. "I most certainly do." I help her into a sitting position, and she pulls me up with her.

"Turn around," I say. She lifts her long, black, wavy hair off her back, and I put the necklace around her, where it belongs. I kiss the side of her neck, and she turns to kiss me but I pull back.

She smirks and lets her hair drop. "Damn tease."

I laugh. That's the first curse word I've ever heard her say since she lost her memory. Then I kneel on the bed and she purses her lips. "What in the world—?"

"Princess Teresa, I have loved you since the day I bumped into you. When I lost you, I felt like I was the missing man. When I was in France, the land around me was just an empty highway, waiting for its vehicles. I was so empty without you, but now I am fulfilled. I will die a happy man, knowing you love me." And I really could. I just don't want to die. "Teresa Francesca Renaldi de'Medici, will you marry me?"

Her eyes seem out of focus and I know she's reliving the first time I proposed to her. "Several issues, Matt," she says, crossing her arms over her barely covered chest. "My name is hella long." I laugh. "Second of all, normal people don't usually propose when they're half-naked."

"Ah, but we are neither normal nor usual, aren't we, darling?"

She shakes her head with a knowing smile and holds out her left hand. I place the ring on her finger and kiss the back of her hand. She buries her hand in my hair and pulls me in for a slow kiss. And as if we need divine intervention, there is a loud, interrupting knock jarring us from the little bubble of space we create every time it's just us.

I sigh. "I really love the maids, but right now..."

Tess laughs. "I'll go put my dress on."

"No, no, it's fine," I quickly say. To be completely and blatantly honest, she looks so hot with and without it on. "I'll, ah, grab you something else in the meantime."

She raises her eyebrow and smirks, a sight I have longed to see. "There's my girl," I say as I roll out of bed. I'm still wearing my pants (no belt, mind you) so I rush to my closet. I grab a plain black undershirt and a long-sleeved shirt for Tess. "This might be a little big on you. Sorry."

"It's fine," she says as she catches the shirt I toss to her. I open the door and find someone I haven't seen in ages. "Aunt Marlee!" I say.

"Matthew, it's so good to see you!" She embraces me and pulls back to ruffle my hair. "My, my, you've grown into a handsome young man."

"Just like my father," I state. She nods, and I scratch my head. "Um, not to be rude, but why are you here all of a sudden?"

"Oh! I brought lunch for you." Aunt Marlee pulls a cart with two covered dishes and two glasses. I frown at the extra plate, and she says, "Well, everyone else was busy with their 'partners', so to speak, so I decided to bring lunch for you and Tess! Where is she anyway?"

I'm about to come up with a prevarication that probably wouldn't make sense anyway, but Tess interrupts. "I'm right here," she says from behind me, wrapping her strong arms around my torso. I've seen her work a punching bag, and I don't want to be at the receiving end of those fists.

"Hello, Tess," Aunt Marlee says. "How are you?"

"I'm doing quite well, thank you. And you?"

"Oh, just wonderful." Aunt Marlee smiles mischievously at Tess's outfit. The shirt I gave her reaches mid-thigh and the sleeves go past her knuckles. I open my mouth to explain the situation, but Aunt Marlee holds up a hand. "No need. You know my story anyway." And as her hand is held up, I remember when Mother told me the story of when and why Aunt Marlee got caned. "I won't judge. I might have to tell your mother, though..."

"No, Marlee," Tess says, ever so calmly. "We didn't do it. We're waiting until our wedding."

Aunt Marlee surprisingly smiles. "You kids have good heads on your shoulders. Well, I better leave you two alone then." Tess and Aunt Marlee embrace and Tess brings the food cart inside. Awesome, because I am starving.

"Matthew, I need to talk to you," Aunt Marlee says urgently. She brings me out and closes the door behind me. "America told me about your condition," she says sadly.

"Oh."

"When are you going to tell Tess? Matthew, I know how you are. You are going to withhold this information from her until something happens. Imagine that, you're going to black out, and the poor girl is going to be scared out of her mind because she doesn't know what's going on. And you know why she doesn't know? Because no one told her."

I look away, too ashamed and worried to even face her. Aunt Marlee puts a hand on my cheek, her scars brushing my face like a pencil tracing my every skin cell. "Matthew, please tell her. If you don't soon, you'll horribly regret it."

"I will. I promise. I'll tell her soon."

"Okay. Take care of yourself, Matt. And no alcohol. I know you've been stealing our stock at the kitchens."

I open my mouth, but she cuts me off again. "There is no excuse that will make this better. Enjoy your lunch, dear."

She waves her hand good bye and disappears around the corner.

I run a hand over my face and walk back inside. Tess isn't anywhere to be seen in my room, but I notice the open windows. "I set lunch up in the balcony," she calls. "I hope that's fine with you."

I walk to her and find everything organized and straight. I manage a smile. "What a perfectionist."

"Duh," she says, tugging on my hand. "That's why I chose you."

I smile, genuinely this time. "Can't say anything bad about that."

We start to eat our lunch—pasta with tomato sauce. A classic favorite, especially when it comes to the meatballs.

"So, Matt," Tess says, spearing the delectable ball of meat. "What did you want to tell me?"

"Hmm?"

"You said you needed to tell me something."

Should I tell her now? She looks so happy, and I just don't want to ruin that. I'll tell her tomorrow. Wait, no, tomorrow's her birthday. Shit, it's her birthday tomorrow.

"Yeah, um. Do you want to go out later?" I ask.

"Uh, yeah, I guess. Where?"

"I don't know yet, but just dress in something casual."

"Um, okay. Is that what you needed to tell me?"

I twirl my pasta around my fork. "I just wanted to tell you that I...am trying to think when our wedding will be."

Tess blinks a few times. Then she smiles. "That's great. More than great actually! Um, when were you thinking it would be? Do you have a specific date in mind?"

"I don't know, but I was thinking the season would be autumn? It's not too cold or too hot so you could pick the venue, and uh, the leaves are really pretty around that time." I'm totally going on a whim on this one, but somehow, it makes sense to me once the words leave my mouth. I do like autumn. I love how the leaves turn different shades and it only stays that way for a few months.

"Yeah, that sounds amazing, Matt." She's already done with her food? How does this woman eat so quickly?! She stands. "I'll go get ready for that date you had planned."

"Right. You just wear something completely casual and maybe something that'll make you unrecognizable because we're going out."

She nods. "Okay. I'll meet you in the foyer in a few minutes, yeah?"

"Yeah."

Tess lightly walks to me and kisses me on the cheek. Then she skips to her room.

How the hell will I be able to tell her?

* * *

**I can't believe I'm doing this to you again, but it's 1 am. I feel so awful, you guys. I promise I'll make it up to you. You'll get a lot of Matess next chapter and a bonus chapter of what went down with Alexandra and Alexander. Okay? Okay.**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	6. Chapter 5

_Tess's POV_

I have no idea what Matthew has planned, and it seems like he doesn't know either. But I trust Matthew, and I'm sure he'll think of something along the way. We could be going to the mall, a national landmark, a science museum, another kind of museum. But I know for sure that it's a place where we could just be ourselves as normal people. Just a boy, and just a girl.

I go to my room to change, even though I can't bear to part with Matt. Am I being too clingy? I just don't want to lose him again.

I put on white shorts and wear these canvas sneakers I find in my closet. If I remember correctly, Converse was a big brand back then. As much as I want to wear Matthew's shirt forever (it smells like him) I substitute it with a soft, melon-colored sweater. I'm so happy to have my necklace and my ring back. I feel so myself again. It's that moment when you don't know what you've been missing, and once you get it back, you feel comfortable in your own skin again. Matthew took out my braided hairdo a while ago, so I just brush my hair and put it in a ponytail.

I walk down to the foyer and Matthew's already waiting. Why do men make it look so effortless to get dressed?

"Love, you look very nice," he says, putting his hand in mine when I reach him.

"And you don't look too bad yourself, Prince Matthew," I say, as we walk to his car. The air is brisk and dandelion-filled, and I'm pretty sure I'm allergic to pollen, but I take a deep breath anyway to admire the spring air.

Matt wrinkles his nose. "Don't call me that."

"What should I call you then?" We reach his car and he opens the door for me. "Do your parents know we're leaving?"

He shakes his head and goes around to get in the driver's seat. "I told the guards outside their room to tell them, though."

"Why couldn't you tell them yourself?" I wonder aloud. Then his face shows all the embarrassment in the world.

"I didn't want to 'interrupt' them," he says, using air quotes before starting the car.

"No!" I say. "They did not! Your parents?! The king and queen of Illéa?!"

"Yes, my parents. The man and the woman that made five children."

"Oh, my gosh. I will never be able to look at your parents the same way again."

"Love, they're going to be _your_ parents soon."

I gasp. "Goodness gracious, Matt. I'd be scarred for life."

"Well, I didn't _see_ them, but I did _hear_ them, and they were loud," he says, drawing out the last word.

I laugh. "That's hilarious."

"No, it's not. It's wrong and an injustice to all children."

"But you're not a child," I argue.

"Nineteen still isn't a proper age to know your parents still bang each other when they don't want any kids! There is no proper age!"

I just keep laughing. He sounds like he's exaggerating, but that would've been so awkward for any person. "Oh, look!" He points at a warm yellow house with a tire swing on a tree branch. The house in my dreams and in a picture in Matt's room. "That's Grandma Magda's house."

"Were you ever that kid that considered combining the title and then the name in one? Like, GrandMagda?"

He laughs as we drive past the house. "I can't say I haven't tried. My mother wasn't very impressed."

I laugh and we drive along the winding path. "Do you have any idea where we're going?"

He nods. "Yep. I hope you'll like it. It'll take a while for me to be happy about it, considering I hate clowns."

I frown. "Clowns?"

"I hate clowns, you're ticklish, we all have our weird things about us."

I stare at him with my mouth open. "Who told you I was ticklish?"

"I didn't have to ask anyone." He grins. "I have something to hold over your head now."

"No! Being ticklish is a natural human reflex. Hating clowns is just...not understandable."

"Are you kidding me?" he say, horrified. "Why do they were that much makeup? I mean, it's like they're going to be Miss Illéa or something!"

"Is that it? Is that your brilliant reason why you hate clowns?"

"But wait! There's more." He sounds like those television salesmen. "They try to cheer children up, but they end up scaring them. That's a crime in and of itself."

"Matt, that's a pathetic excuse."

"Tess, you're entitled to your opinions, I'm entitled to mine. That's how we work."

I laugh. "Okay, so you think you're a good kisser and I think you're not. Is that how we work?"

"No. It's a fact, not an opinion," he deadpans, but he's smiling, the sides of his eyes crinkling a little.

I laugh again and my cheeks hurt so much. "Mmhmm. Yeah, sure."

There's a slight pause. "_Am_ I a good kisser?"

I turn to him and raise my eyebrow. "Matthew, I wouldn't have been making out with you for the past hour and a half if I thought you were a terrible kisser."

"Because I've only ever kissed you. Well, there was this one slut at the Italian night club we went to and she shoved her tongue down my throat."

I look at him, appalled. "What did you do?"

"Shove her away, of course! I would never cheat on you. I have many flaws, but lack of faithfulness is now one of them."

"Really?"

"Really."

We spend the next seven minutes in silence as I think about what he's said. I've only ever kissed Matthew, and I don't really know what to think that he's kissed another girl. I can't really hold it against him since someone basically mouth-raped him, but still. I don't know what to think.

"Hey, it didn't mean anything," he finally says. "I love you, not her. I don't even remember her name."

"You're good with names," I spitefully reply. "You probably do."

"Tess." He stops at a stoplight and takes my hand. "I've only ever loved you. And I will only ever love of you. I hate that girl so much because I feel so bad that I did that to you, unintentionally, might I say."

"Did you kiss her back?"

"Of course not! Even though I was halfway sober and she was extremely drunk, I did not kiss her back. I had more than half a mind to know that that was wrong. I'm really sorry, love."

"It's okay," I say timidly.

He sighs and steps on the gas pedal. "We're here," he says, his voice suddenly sullen.

I see a large Ferris wheel rise out of the middle of the...amusement park?

"Hey," he says, putting his finger on my chin and turning my face to him. "I will love you until the day I die, and I'm sorry that it ever happened. Truly." He pulls my lips to his, and suddenly things are right again.

I kiss him one last time and smile. "Okay. Let's go."

He smiles and kisses my nose. We exit the car at the same time and he locks the car. He hands me a pair of aviator sunglasses and puts his own wayfarer ones. "You look really hot in those," I say, sticking my tongue.

He laughs. "You look hotter."

Matt puts his hand in mine as we walk to the entrance.

"Tickets are ten dollars each," the grumpy, stout ticket man says. Matt pulls out his wallet and hands the guy a twenty. "Have a nice day."

"Thanks, you too," I say.

"Tess, I present to you..." He waves his arm for a dramatic gesture. "The Boardwalk."

I look around, and it's so bright and sunny I have to squint. "This place is huge!"

Matt laughs and leads me by the hand. "We used to come here all the time as kids. Then we got more recognizable, and Michael and I had to start attending meetings, and we just couldn't go anymore."

"Has Xander ever been here?"

"Nope. I feel bad that we didn't bring him and Maria along, but I want a whole day just with you."

I smile. "You're sweet."

"Speaking of which..." He pulls me to a stand with colorful plastic bags hanging from the poles. "Cotton candy?"

I smile. "Yup! I don't mind if you want to share. I probably wouldn't finish a whole thing of it."

"Tess, it's just sugar and air."

I shrug and he laughs. He buys a blue one and we walk while eating. "I don't remember the last time I've had cotton candy," I say. "Oh, wait. Duh."

He chuckles. "I don't remember the last time I've been here. I must have been about ten or something."

I nod. "What's your favorite ride here?"

"I don't know. There's this one called the Big Dipper. It's sick. Literally, someone has gotten sick on it."

I scrunch my eyebrows. "Are you sure I'll be able to handle it then?!"

"Tess, you got two fucking knives to the stomach. How can you not ride a roller coasters?"

"I think I'm acrophobic."

He throws the empty cotton candy bag away. "Only one way to find out!"

* * *

_Matthew's POV_

"Matt, Matt, Matt, why the hell are we doing this?" Tess shouts as the wind whistles in our ears. The ride slowly ascends up, the tracks and gears clicking in place.

"Because we only live once!" I yell back.

"But why are we at the very front?!"

I have no time to answer her as the Big Dipper shoots down. Tess's scream is shrill and high. I should have expected that, considering she's a soprano. Her grip on my hand is a vise, and I feel like she's cutting off the circulation to my fingers.

I whoop and yell, "This is awesome!"

"You're mentally unstable!"

I laugh the whole ride as she screams her head off. The ride finally halts to a stop and she's panting. "What. The. Hell. Is. Wrong. With. You."

I laugh and laugh. "Can I pick a ride now?" she says, and I'm slightly scared.

"Uh, sure."

"Okay."

Next thing I know, we're in line for the Haunted Castle ride. "I don't know how you're planning to get revenge on me with the Haunted Castle ride." I look at the theatrical sign with fake cobwebs on it. "Beware," I read aloud. "The boo monster might give you the spooks! Tess, this is...not that scary."

"Why can't I just ride with my boyfriend?" she says, nearly whining. "I want to feel like a child. Come on, just play along."

"Fine, okay. I'll play along."

Tess faces as we walk along the slow-moving line. She puts her arms around my waist. "I like this sweatshirt. It looks good on you."

It's a dark blue sweatshirt that I haven't worn in months. Nothing special about my outfit. "Well, thanks. Your little white shorts look so fine." I try talking like a guy my age, but my lifetime of etiquette and speech refinement requires me to make an effort.

"Matt," she whispers, "don't look now, but those girls behind us are staring at you."

I sneak a glance despite what Tess said. "Matthew!" she says.

"What? They're, like, sixteen. They totally have nothing on you. Look, that girl has white shorts and her ass is not nearly as cute as yours."

"Matthew. Shut. Up. They can hear you!"

"Hey, look. Watch this." I look at the group of four girls and smile. They smile back and giggle to each other when I look away.

Tess rolls her eyes. "So narcissistic."

"But you love me anyway."

"Yeah. Lucky ass."

"Hey, want to shut them up?"

"As long as they stop scoping my boyfriend, yeah."

"Okay, just go along, okay?"

"Okay."

I make my voice slightly louder and put my arms around Tess. "Babe, I love you so much."

"Baby," she says, her voice dripping with affection and sweetness. "I love you more."

"I really want to make out with you."

She giggles. "But there are kids around! Like, those four girls behind us would be like, 'Whoa, this is a PG-13 movie, and we don't have a parent!'"

I smile with my mouth open. "Oh, burn!"

The girls are no longer looking at us. "Awesome," I say. "Good improv."

"Eh, I try."

So we get on the large car for the ride, and I have to admit, I almost pissed my pants. The first pop out thing was a clown puppet. The second one had a knife in its hands. The third one came out of a coffin. "Stay in there! Go die again!" I shout, while Tess next to me is dying of laughter.

We leave the ride and I think ninety-nine percent of my insanity was left in there. "Okay, I forfeit. You win."

"I always win," she says winking. "What time is it?"

I check my watch. "One o'clock."

"Exactly one o'clock?"

"On the dot."

"When do we have to be back at the palace?" she asks, leading me to a booth with a giant stuffed dolphin.

"We have all the time in the world," I say with a smile.

Though I know I'll be the one who will run out of time.

* * *

**That was a _roller coaster _of emotions! I based the Boardwalk off Santa Cruz Beach Boardwalk. I've never been there, so sorry for any inaccuracies. I looked at the website. **

**Thanks for the reviews and I apologize for not being able to reply to them for the past two nights. So I'm putting the reviews of Chapter 3 on here and Chapter 4 for the next one. **

**LittleMissTori- Haha that was a lot exclamation points! So glad you're liking it! Thanks!**

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Haha Matty boy. And not to make this awkward, I've never seen the Anchorman. Where did you find the "reference" though? I'm oh so curious. Thanks so much!**

**agb1700- The ball chapter was supposed to come tonight, but it's coming tomorrow instead because I made this chapter. Lurve ya and you're AMAZINGER!**

**NalissaPatali- Aw you cried? Oh my goodness! I'm surprised my writing affected you that much! And I guess you'll just have to keep reading :) Thanks so much!**

**theoneforever- Aw thank you! I'm pretty sure I heard you screaming all the way from where you live :P Jk**

**Kiren- Haha the king is a butthead :P Thanks for reviewing!**

**winterprincess- Haha my friend read this review and he laughed. No, Matt did not deflower Tess. They just made out quite a lot. It seemed withheld too long and I needed to write a heavy makeout scene :P Thanks for reviewing!**

**lilythemermaid- *cough cough SO SEXY cough cough* Haha glad it made you happy! LALALALALALALOL- T :)**

**idk1234- Glad you're loving it! Thank you!**

**bubble4life- I'll have a chapter of them! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl **


	7. Chapter 6

**As promised, here is the chapter with Alexandra and Alexander.**

_Alexandra's POV_

I slam my door shut. Riley got ninety-nine percent of Mother's temper, whereas I got the remaining one percent. Yet, it manages to show when I don't get to make my own decisions. And also when my room is unorganized and cluttered.

But I digress.

I sit on the edge of my bed chewing the end of my hair, a terrible habit I've developed since I was thirteen (puberty does plenty to you), and something I hoped to have broken by now. But when my emotions run wild and rampant like a race car on Nitrous oxide, I just can't help but go back to an activity that I found so comforting.

Someone knocks on my door, and thinking it's my mother or Matthew who has come to comfort me, I smooth my hair and open the door. However, I'm met by jade-green eyes. And it's not Xander.

"Hello," Prince Alexander says, his hands in his pockets.

I roll my eyes and speak in rapid French. "_Pourquoi êtes-vous ici? Pourquoi at-mon père ne m'a pas dit cela avant votre arrivée?_"

"Be quiet," he says in accented English. "You're going to wake up my grandfather, and he's dead."

Clever, but I resist laughing. "What do you want?" I ask, crossing my arms.

"May I come in?" He casts a quick glance at the guards beside him.

I narrow my eyes before he gives me a pleading look, and I groan. I pull him inside and shut the door. "What is it?" I demand.

"Princess Alexandra, I know you are terribly upset you weren't notified and that you were not told about this. But I promise that—"

"That's not eve the worst part of it!" I interrupt. "I don't want to marry someone I don't want! My parents told me I could choose whomever I want. And now I get stuck with...you."

Hurt flashes in his eyes, but it is well masked. "Would you rather have Illéa in war with France than choosing to marry me? You can ignore a man, but ignoring a thousand, maybe millions, of deaths is nearly impossible."

He got me with the first sentence. "I don't understand," I say, my one percent of temper and fury ebbing away. "How does a marriage fix this?"

The Dauphin sighs. "You might prefer to sit. It's quite a tale of what happened at those meetings."

I nod and sit on the lounge. He sits across from me and leans forward with his elbows on his knees. "To start with a little back story, my father is ill. His mentality is slowly eroding like a rock by the ocean. Yet he still thinks he's omnipotent; he's quite the megalomaniac. Not too far from Dr. Jekyll."

My mouth disobeys my mind and twitches up to a smile. It's like he knows my weaknesses! What if he is a telepath that knows exactly what I'm thinking?

"I'm not," he says, breaking my thoughts.

Ah, ha! He admitted it!

"I'm not like my father, if that's what you're thinking."

Oh. Never mind.

"I would never terrorize people and spite them. I'm so sorry about your older brother. I would kill my father, but his brother would be more than willing to avenge him. We wouldn't want a real-life _Hamlet, _now would we?"

Again, my actions betray me as I smile. "No. No, we would not."

"I'm glad. Anyway, my father wanted someone on the throne by the time he died, and the custom, as is anywhere else, is that no unmarried can rule a country."

"But then why me?" I ask.

"To spite your father, of course."

"What does have against my father?"

Alexander puts his clasped hands to his lips. "Have you heard of a woman named Daphne?" I ask.

"Yes," I reply. "She used to be in love with my father, and she left distraught because Father didn't return the feelings."

"Well, Daphne is my father's cousin. They were very close, and my father was vengeful about that whole ordeal."

"So King Henry is angry that my father had to go through the Selection, a process set up for every prince of this country?"

"Mentally unstable, as I have said."

I nod. "Okay, I'm not so mad now, considering the circumstances." Before he can say anything, I hold up a finger to quiet him. "_But _that does _not _mean that I will ever fall in love you, or at the least, _like _you."

"You emphasize words a lot," he says bluntly.

"Do you understand?"

"Yes, I do." He stands. "But in the occasion that you do end up actually willing to be my wife, you know where to find me." He smiles, and he delicately brings my hand to his lips. "Have a good day, your highness."

"You as well, Prince Alexander."

"Please." He stops before leaving the room completely. "Call me Alex."

* * *

**Hmm, what will happen? *raises hands* I know the answer to this one! Alexandra will...**

**agb1700- Thank you so much! I hope it was AMAZINGER! Lurve ya!**

**prnamber3909- Here it is! Hope you liked it!**

**NalissaPatali- Here's a second chapter for you! Today! Not tomorrow! But I'll probably update tomorrow as well. Thanks for reviewing!**

**Kiren- Hahaha, I'm taking your advice this time, brah. Cuz I'm EXHAUSTED. Am I dead yet? And idk if you can make a ship name for Alexander and Alexandra... Haha challenge of the day! Thanks for reviewing!**

**SelectMeNow- Awwww thank you so so much! This was the cutest review I saw that day! **

**winterprincess- Alexandra has 1 percent of America's temper :P Thanks for reviewing!**

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**PokemonLuver151- *Sigh* Matthew better get some balls and tell her :P Thanks for reviewing!**

**Kiren- Hahaha awkward! Thank you for reviewing and finding the humor in that!**

**prnamber3909- Haha that's a great way to put it! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	8. Chapter 7

_Matthew's POV_

The view from the very top of the Ferris wheel is amazing. We don't even go home for dinner. But screw that right now. Right now, I'm with the love of my life, and I know that she's in love with me too. Tess is snuggled against my body, the color of her sweater matching the sky outside.

"Matt, this was the best day I've had in a long time," she says quietly, reading my thoughts.

"Same here, love." She looks up at me and sneaks a kiss that misses my lips by a millimeter.

The Ferris wheel ride starts and I have my arm around her. I hold her closer to me and she whispers, "I love you, and thanks so much."

"It's not a big deal. I'd take you to the moon if I could. If you wanted."

"I already am," she says, quietly still, as if a thing has taken over her. "I'm over the moon." Her ears turn red as she tucks a hair behind her ear. "Do you think the paparazzi know we're here?" she asks, changing the subject.

"I don't care." I feel like we kissed the rest of the Ferris wheel ride.

When we leave the car, that's when we know something's wrong.

"There they are!" a high-pitched, over-excited voice screams. I quickly see the four girls from the line for the Haunted Mansion ride. The heads turn to us and there are the photographers. "Run!" I yell to Tess, grabbing her hand.

She laughs and runs with me. "To the car!" she shrieks.

The dedicated photographers chase us all the way to the lot. The lazy ones stay back and snap away from afar. I laugh as we take off toward home.

When we arrive home, I'm expecting angry parents on the foyer, armed with reprimands, but I know that they trust Tess and me together now. Plus, they might still be occupied.

It's seven o'clock now, and I have no idea what to do for the rest of the night. "Tess, what do you want to do tonight?"

She shrugs. "I don't know we could watch a movie."

So we do.

* * *

_Tess's POV_

I enter Matt's bedroom wearing his long-sleeved shirt. He's drying his hair, and he's wearing only pajama pants. He turns around. "Hey," he says, putting the towel back in the bathroom.

"Hiya," I reply.

He returns to his desk and writes on something. I approach him and put my arms around his shoulders. "What are you doing?"

Matt shuts the notebook and turns around to face me. "Nothing that will make a big impact on you."

Okay, that's it. I know he's hiding something from me. I open my mouth to speak, but he puts his lips on mine, preventing from saying anything at all. I fight myself to get lost in the kiss, like I always do, but I can't.

I pull away. "Matthew, you're hiding something from me."

He kisses me again. "Matthew."

"What?" he says, putting his hands on my face. "It's nothing. Really."

"You're lying," I reply. "Your eyes won't focus on me. They go to some other corner of the room. Your mother does it too."

He puts his forehead against mine and rests his blue eyes on me. "Okay, fine. I was writing you another letter for your birthday tomorrow. I wanted it to be a surprise but..."

I look back at him. "Do you promise you're not lying?"

"I promise. I cross my heart. Pinkie promise."

I hold up my pinkie. "Promise?"

He links his finger with mine. "Promise."

"I'm tired. Let's go to sleep."

"Okay."

Matt settles in bed next to me with my back to his stomach. "Good night, my precious."

I groan. "That guy was creepy. One of the weirdest movies by far."

"It's a classic! The books were even better. I promise."

I laugh. "Good night."

"Good night."

* * *

_Tess's POV_

I wake up feeling cold. Where's Matthew?

And as if we have a telepathic connection, he enters the room with a tray and a smile. "Happy birthday!" he announces.

I'm upset his abs are hidden from sight, but I sit up and smile. "Thank you! What is that?" I point at the tray in his hands.

"This is your breakfast. I made it myself."

And I figured out there are still things that make me fall deeper in love.

* * *

**This isn't the most eloquently written chapter, but I hope you still liked the fluff. I promise the next will be a little more detailed because it's the ball scene.**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**LittleMissTori- Aw thank you so much! I'm sure you can write it as well as me (probably even better)! **

**bubble4life- Haha I'm as cold as ice. The cold never bothered me anyway :) Thanks!**

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Alex could be nice! Thanks!**

**ilona18- Wonder what will happen. Yeah, me too :P Thank you!**

**prnamber3909- OMG that sounds like the best plot twist ever! Thanks!**

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**PokemonLuver151- No offense taken at all! Mess is something I actually came up with in the first story :P Thanks for reviewing!**

**winterprincess- Haha parents these days. Thank you for reviewing!**

**magicalnerd123- Heehee it's like Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner. Except that didn't work out so well. Thanks for reviewing!**


	9. Chapter 8

_Tess's POV_

Matthew can cook. Did I mention how attractive that is?

"You look like you're enjoying it," Matt says from across the balcony table, a shy yet very entertained smile on his face.

"Mmm," I say after another bite of his crêpe. "Are you sure you cooked this? Or did you just pay Aunt Marlee to cook this?"

He laughs. "First of all, I wouldn't _pay _her to do it. And yes, I did cook it myself. My mother used to cook most of her meals before the Selection. She taught me, as well as the rest of my siblings, and I started experimenting."

"You're very adventurous," I say. "I noticed that."

"Yeah, well, it happens when you're cooped up in a palace."

I fork a piece, complete with a strawberry, and hold it out to him. "You have to taste it," I say.

"No!" he says playfully. "It's your birthday breakfast! I can't just take your food."

"You're not _taking_ it," I reply. "I'm _sharing_ it with you."

"I feel like I'm stealing it."

I wave the fork in front of his face and his stubborn façade breaks down. "Fine." He takes a bite, and I smirk and wait for his reaction. "It's a little overcooked, and the chocolate is a tad bit too much."

I roll my eyes and continuing eating. "Perfectionist."

"Says you," he teases back.

I smile. "Well, I love it. I love chocolate, so this is the perfect amount."

"But everyone's definition of perfect is different," he replies with his logical voice.

"Well, this is perfect, and you are perfect, so shut up because it's my birthday."

He laughs. "May I have another bite?"

"No," I deadpan. "You're not allowed."

He fakes a pout, and I get a piece for him, this time with both a strawberry and a banana. "You're cute when you pout," I say.

He smirks. "How's the bacon?"

"I can't believe you remembered turkey bacon was my favorite!" I say. "You are literally perfect. And the glass of milk is classic."

"Well, you're a classy girl so you deserve the best," he says, putting a hand on my arm, because my hands are too occupied with utensils. I put them down, though, and take his hand.

"I wish it was my birthday everyday so I could hear you compliment me every minute," I joke.

"Love, it won't even be your birthday, and I'd still compliment you."

My cheeks warm and I look back at my food. "You make me feel so spoiled and selfish."

"I want to make you feel like you're the only girl in the world worth paying attention to," he says intently.

I giggle softly, my ears turning warm too. I'm pretty sure they're redder than the strawberries by now. "Thank you. So much. For everything."

"Hey!" Matt says, his voice returning to its light, carefree tone that I love. "It's only about nine thirty."

"Nine forty-seven, actually," I correct him.

He rolls his eyes. "My little smart-ass." Matt stands up. "Okay, well, you have to get ready for the day we all have planned for you."

"We?"

"Yes, we. Go. Put on a cute thing that makes you look like your spectacular self, and meet me in the foyer downstairs, okay?"

"Okay."

I'm even more excited now. I finish my milk in one gulp and stare at my empty plate. Goodness, that thing was so good. I really have to learn how to cook.

I rush to my room and find my three maids with their arms wide open. "Happy birthday!" they say with big smiles.

"Thank you!" I laugh.

"We have your outfit ready for you," Christina says, some wisps of her pale blond hair flying behind her as she rushes to get my clothes.

"But where you're going, you won't really need clothes," Emma says.

I frown. "Excuse me?"

"Wrong choice of words," Margaret remedies. She holds up a...bikini?

"Where exactly am I going?" I ask.

"Just dress up, Miss," Christina says, coming back with the clothes.

"Alright, alright," I reply as Emma starts to ponytail my hair.

After exactly seven minutes, I'm wearing red shorts and a cute white peasant blouse over my bikini (to be more specific, and not to worry anybody where I'm going, the halter top is black; the bottoms are cute, coral-colored, and has coverage).

"Now can you tell me where I'm going?"

"For now, to the foyer," Margaret says. Emma hands me a bag with a towel, sunscreen, aviators that I have yet to return to Matt, goggles, and underwear. I'm going swimming, that's for sure.

"Have fun!" they all say.

"Thank you!" I reply just as happily.

As I walk down the grand staircase to the foyer, the entire palace seems to shout, "Happy birthday!"

I smile and laugh. "Thank you!"

I reach the bottom and Maria gives me a hug first. "Happy birthday, Tess," she says.

I hug her back. "Thanks, kiddo. Love you, too." She pulls back with a happy smile. "Yes, Maria, I remember every year I've spent with you."

"How come?" she asks.

"I'm not sure."

"Do you remember anything else before the accident?" she asks curiously.

"No," I reply with a sigh. "You just had the most memorable impact on my life. I remembered you more quickly."

Maria smiles, and she looks like she's about to cry. "Oh!" she says. She pulls out woven pieces of string (sky blue, cerulean, crimson, coral) from her pocket. "I made this for you." The pattern is intricate and it looks complicated.

"Oh, my gosh," I say in awe as she hands it to me.

"I know it's not much, but um, you could wear it as an anklet or a bracelet."

"How long did it take you to make this?" I ask.

"Four days?"

"Dang, girl. You're good." She laughs and I quickly tie it around my ankle. "Thank you," I say.

She doesn't even have time to reply as everyone else encases me in hugs and greetings. Xander's very sweet; he gives me my own (pale red) stationery with my name on the top and everything (_From the desk of Princess Teresa of Italy and Illéa)_. The king completes Xander's present with my very own calligraphy and fountain pen. Rilane gives me a red fan from New Asia that she says was delivered this morning. Alexandra gives me a charm bracelet with the Italian flag, the Illéan flag, a music note (eighth note), a violin, a piano, and a guitar (all in tiny charms; so cute!). Prince Alexander is surprisingly here,—in shorts no less—and gives me a necklace with a flower made of rubies. Queen America gives me the most expensive thing I've received so far: a tiara.

"It was passed down to me from Queen Amberly," America says. "It's been in the family since Gregory Illéa's wife, and it's been worn by every queen. Take good care of it, and don't worry about head lice."

"Thanks, mom," I joke, giving her a hug. "Just kidding," I say quickly, embarrassed I said anything at all.

But America laughs. "Darling, you might as well start now." I laugh.

"Okay. _Mom._"

She smiles back and I thank everyone individually and by name. Everyone moves aside as Matthew saunters up to me. "Love, I wish I had a present as good as all of those." He puts an arm around my waist and leads me out the door. "But I don't."

"Love, your cooking was a gift enough."

He smiles at me and turns around to face everybody else. "Meet you there, okay?" he says.

They collectively agree and split up to their own vehicles. The last time we did this was Michael's funeral. But the occasion is so different entirely.

I pull out the aviators from my bag. "Like my shades, Matty boy?" I say to him in what I try as a manly voice.

"Yes, because those are mine," he replies, backing out of the driveway.

"So where are we going?" I ask again.

"You'll see." He draws out the last word, and I smile because I know where we're headed.

* * *

_Matthew's POV_

So the plan is to get everyone away from the palace so the maids and butlers could prepare. We gave them every detail possible and even wrote down additional ones to make sure they don't get confused. They have to get the masks for everybody prepared, and the maids are hard at work to provide our clothes. It's going to be the party of the century.

We arrive and the ocean looks so blue and gorgeous. "Wow, a real ocean," Tess says in wonder.

"You've never been to a real beach?" I say, looking at her momentarily to observe the adorable curiosity on her face.

"Matt, Midston was in the mid-west, hence the name MIDston."

"Never been to see a real ocean, huh?" I ask, ignoring her sarcastic, smart-ass comment.

"Nope."

"Well." I go to her side of the car to open her door. "You'll have a _whale_ of a time."

"No freaking way!" she says, practically jumping out of the car. "We're going to see whales? Wait. Was this your idea?"

I shrug. "I may have concocted this plan."

"Matthew!" she squeals, jumping on me to give me a hug. "I love you so much!"

I laugh. "I love you too."

Tess doesn't hesitate to give me a kiss on my mouth. Our sunglasses smack against each other and we both say, "Ouch. Sorry."

"Jinx. Double jinx. Triples jinx. Quadruple jinx."

"We're under a palm tree," I say absurdly.

She makes a face and laughs. "What does that have to do with anything?"

I set her down on the sand and laugh. "It means we get to go do fun stuff. Come on, let's go."

She grabs her bag and basically skips the whole way to the shore. She probably thinks this is it, her grand birthday celebration. Nope.

This is only the beginning.

* * *

**I've just been realizing my chapters have been more dialogue and action more than anything. Oh, well. I'll provide philosophies later on. I'm sorry I keep pushing back the ball chapter, but I feel like if I compacted the whole day it would be way too long. Bear with me. We'll get there, I promise. And y'all keep saying how Matt's gonna pass out during the masquerade ball. You know, it might happen now that you guys keep mentioning it. **

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**LovableL101- Aww I'm glad you're still excited to read my story! And speaking the truth is always good! But thank you so much! You're so nice!**

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Haha yeah, it's tough when you have to break news to someone. I'm so glad you're still "loving" it, though! Thank you so much!**

**SJWrites2014- Hahaha made me laugh. Thanks so much! (BTW I love your story.)**

**HikariTheNormaller- Holy crapola, this review made my day! Of course I consider everyone's opinions! Don't hesitate to tell me in a PM or a review. And as for Lucy and Aspen, I wrote that chapter (and half of the story) before The One was released. I had no idea it was going to happen (though I wish it did, because I want to include that in my fanfics!). Thank you so so much for this review! (And average fangirls are average! The other ones who don't express their feelings for a book are not average. They're emo goths inside :P )**

**prnamber3909- Haha #DatPlotTwistDoe. Thanks for reviewing! **

**ilona18- Yay! I'm glad you're still here! Thank you!**

**Lucas- Haha he just "can't". Lol Luch. Thanks so much!**

**Kiren- Heehee *Despicable Me little girl's voice* IT'S SO FLUFFY! Thanks for reviewing!**

**PokemonLuver151- Haha oh well :) Thank you so much!**

**winterprincess- Teehee Matt is sweet. :P Thanks so much!**

**LittleMissTori- Haha I can't dance or act to save my life (which is ironic because I was the lead for a musical :P ). I'm in love with all of my reviewers! As usual. Thank you!**

**You guys are sweeter than cotton candy. :)**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	10. Chapter 9

_Tess's POV_

This has literally been the best birthday. The whales were so beautiful and majestic, and we even got to go deep sea diving. Everything looked so beautiful and hidden, like I completely missed every single beautiful thing in one blink. It was amazing. It suddenly made sense why there were so many coral-colored presents given to me. They were all hinting this endeavor.

And the best part? I got to do it with the people I love.

The king and the queen looked so carefree and happy, and I caught a glimpse of what they were when they met. Every second I saw them emanated love and hope. Rilane and Jerome looked like they were in their own personal bubble. Maria and Xander were splashing around, playing a water game as they tread the water. Even Alexa and Alexander looked somewhat happy. I even saw the prince of France himself find a pearl inside an oyster. And it was as white as the clouds above.

Of course Matthew was amazing. We sneaked kisses here and there and played a game of Chicken with Rilane and Jerome. As I sat on Matt's shoulders, he kept me firm and grounded. It's like that with us, figuratively and literally. Matt and I won. Even America and Maxon played against us. We laughed the entire game, even when my future mother-in-law and I fell into the water at the same time.

So now I step out of the shower, hoping I don't smell like salt and seaweed. My maids are blessings; they make me look more beautiful than I have ever looked before. Christina curls my hair and pins some of it up. My strapless ball gown is a deep red and black strings lace tight in the back. The front is nothing short of spectacular; it's covered in tiny white jewels that I can only guess are actual diamonds. Oh, goodness.

I wear the tiara America gave me this morning. My necklace and my ring are on me like I was born with them. I have Maria's gift still on my ankle, covered by the layers and ruffles of my dress. My heels are black and quite seductive if I do say so myself. As a final touch, I have silky black gloves and Alexandra's charm bracelet.

But there's one more thing that I don't quite understand. I know that I have to dress special for my family since it's my birthday, but this is almost overdone. It's just my family, right? And the stranger thing: they give me a mask. Black and red frame my dark eyes, the design so intricate and stunning as it glitters in the light.

"Ladies," I say as Emma puts it on me.

"Just go with it, and enjoy your birthday," Margaret says.

"Thank you, girls." I give them hugs and there's a knock on the door. I'm expecting, hoping, it's Matthew, but it's a guard whose name is unknown to me

"Princess Teresa, I was ordered to escort you to the Great Room for the ball."

"Ball?" I ask.

"No questions. Please, follow me." He extends his arm, and I take it, confused and anxious.

The guard brings me to the double doors, and I hear a symphony inside. "Happy birthday, your highness," the guard says. And he leaves me.

Two more guards, the ones standing on either side of the entrance, greet me and finally open the doors. I am anticipating my family, maybe even the ones from Italy, but no. I see royal families from all over the country. I see my foster family and my biological family. And they're all in masks.

It's a masquerade ball.

I smile and cover my mouth with my gloved hand. "Princess Teresa Francesca Renaldi de'Medici!" a guard announces.

The crowd of people claps and a handsome man, with striking blue eyes behind a simple black mask, extends his hand to me. "Would you care to dance?" Matthew asks, and my heart flutters.

"Absolutely," I breathe.

He leads me to the center of the room, and I'm conscious of every important person staring at me. "Love," Matt says, pulling my attention back to him, to us.

"Who planned this?" I ask, still awestruck.

"My mother, I believe."

"I...This...This is amazing."

"You have her to thank."

"I definitely will." I rest my eyes on Matthew's, and I get lost in the blue pools of happiness. "Thank you so much. For everything. You're making me feel awful that I didn't get you a better present," I add, half-joking and half-not.

He smiles and pulls me closer. "Tess, your presence and your love is a gift within itself. I can't be more grateful." I smile and we dance the rest of the song. I apologize to him and leave so I can greet and thank every person here.

I start with my foster family, then my biological family. I can see the family resemblance when I look at my father and Angelo's dark eyes, and I got my thick, black hair from my mother, the queen.

I meet several other important girls from around the world, like the Arabic Princess Salma. There's Princess Leila (nineteen years old) who is engaged to Jerome's cousin, I believe. Princess Lilah has brown hair and brown eyes, and she's probably around my age. I meet with so many other princes, princesses, kings, queens, dukes, and duchesses that the names and faces are starting to mix together.

I suddenly realize that there are three more people I haven't met. It's hard to miss the three of those girls for different reasons. Two of them are huddled together and it's obvious they feel a little out of place.

"Hi!" I say when I reach them. "I'm Princess Teresa. Have we met before?"

The two girls look at each other and curtsy. I feel awkward immediately. "Please don't curtsy," I say, taking off my mask. "I'm just the same as you two."

"We have met," the petite blond girl says, her eyes a light blue. She takes off her subtle orange mask and says, "I'm Isabelle Day. I'm sure you don't remember me since the, um, accident."

"And I'm Olivia Semancik," the tall girl with long brown hair says. She takes off her mask as well, and suddenly I get a headache so sharp and acute. Memories and images of a lifetime spent with Isabelle and Olivia flood my mind. I've never felt anything like this. Most of my memories come in staccato bursts of colors and feelings, but my entire life is splayed in my brain.

"Tess!" they both say, and I realize they're both holding me up by me arms.

"Are you okay?" Olivia asks.

I smile brightly, even though my head still hurts a little. "I'm okay. I just remembered you guys."

They smile back at me and the three of us hug. We end up reminiscing for what seems like hours. Olivia says she is now taking photography classes as well as doing ballet professionally. I'd say she was a former Five, but I remember that the castes are demolished like they are now nothing but ashes. Isabelle is an artist and she plays the clarinet at her university's orchestra. She also said she opened up her own bakery. These girls are so talented, and inside I'm jealous.

But they're my best friends, and it seems so wrong to be envious.

The three of us talk about boys. It's an obligatory topic in a girl conversation. I tell them about Matthew and our entire story from how I bumped into him. Isabelle is "interested" in this one boy named John. She talks about it shyly. She never liked boys "that" way. Olivia is now dating a guy named Will whom she says she met at the beach.

Suddenly, Olivia's eyes widen. "Tess, you better go to Matty boy over there."

I turn and a girl with long, curly, blond hair is talking to Matt a little too close for comfort. "Girls, if you'll excuse me." I try to act badass as I stand put on my mask. They giggle behind me. I can't believe thirteen years of my life was replaced just by seeing my best friends.

Matthew catches my eye and smiles. "Tess!" he says. The girl turns to me dejectedly, and she's glaring daggers at me with her green eyes. She would be the epitome of a stereotypical princess. Fair-skinned, beautiful, of course, a perfect button nose.

"Hello, Matthew. Would you introduce me to your friend?"

He puts his arm around me. "This is Sadye Eichinger from the German Federation."

"Hello, Princess," the girl says in a thick German accent, curtsying to me reluctantly.

"Hello, Lady Sadye. How are you?"

"I am well. If you will excuse me..." Sadye leaves Matt and me there.

I frown and open my mouth to confront him, but he beats me to it. "Unrequited love story. She said she has loved me since we were five and stopped when we were thirteen. It's nothing, love."

"I feel like every girl I meet is pining over you," I say, staring at the mask in my hand.

"But, love, you're the only one who matters to me," he says, the tip of nose a millimeter away from mine.

"I want to kiss you so badly," I say bluntly.

He laughs. "As do I, but there are cameras and royals. We have to watch our actions."

I nod. "Ooh, wait, where are Mom and Dad?"

He tilts his head. "That's what I'm calling your parents from now on," I say. "Your mother said I should start calling them that now."

He laughs again. "You take that woman's word like it's the Bible's."

"Hey, I'm serious. I need to thank them."

"I'll lead you to them."

We find them drinking champagne.

"Hello, children!" the king says.

"Hello, Father," Matt says.

Okay, never mind. I don't feel like calling them Mom and Dad anymore. That's too awkward at this point. "Your Majesties, thank you so much for the celebration."

America stands. "What did I say about titles?"

"Right, _Mom._"

"That's better. And Tess, this is your first birthday as a princess, though you were always one in your heart."

I smile and she gives me a hug. I hesitantly give Maxon a hug too. To be honest, they're more my parents than my biological ones. And I love them for it.

I see Maria, who is dancing with Xander with her head on his shoulder, and she catches my eye and smiles. I reply with a smile and lift my dress, enough for her to see the anklet. She smiles and continues to dance.

This night is full of hope and love and beauty. It's a spectacular birthday. Nothing could make my life worse now.

Matt leads me to the dance floor again and I lay my head on his chest. Something feels wrong. His strong, hard chest still feels strong and hard, but...there's something off.

Should I ignore it?

"And now, a performance from our own crown prince, Matthew!" announces the singer who has been singing softly and beautifully.

I look at Matthew pointedly, and he grins sheepishly. He takes the guitar pick necklace I gave to him for his birthday out and is handed an acoustic guitar. "Tess, my love, I wrote this for you," he says, adjusting the microphone. "Please don't make fun of me." He grins at me and my heart melts as he sings the lyrics.

"Heart racing;  
Palms sweating.  
You make me feel everything all at once.  
And my hand's shaking;  
Hair flipping.  
Can't you tell that I think that you're the one?  
You make me feel like I'm the only man in the world. Yeah.  
Smooth talking. Just get her.  
I'll make you feel like you belong.

Because you make my whole world brighter.  
I can't go a day without you, oh.  
You drive me crazy.  
When you're not around, I go insane.  
Please tell me you feel the same way.  
Don't go away.  
Don't go away."

The audience and I clap, me louder than the others. I have to take off my mask to wipe the tears that have slipped from my eyes. I walk to Matt when I want to run. I give him a tight hug, and I can't feel anything anymore. I feel like I'm watching myself from a cloud. I watch myself kiss him lightly and quickly, so as not to disturb the guests. I watch him whisper the things he wants to do after the party. I watch myself blush and giggle, because I know we'll have to stop ourselves before we lose ourselves completely to each other.

"When is the wedding?" Jerome's mother, the Swendish queen, asks, bringing me back to Earth.

"Some time in the fall, Your Majesty," Matt replies curtly, bearing no evidence he was whispering sweet nothings in my ear merely four seconds ago.

"The fall!" she cries. "My goodness me, the wedding ought to be sooner than that!"

I laugh. "Your Majesty, there is too much to plan."

"Okay, as long as you invite me, I will be more than satisfied."

Matt and I laugh. "Then we shall," he says.

The Swendish queen smiles and leaves. Matt whispers in my ear, "One more dance?"

"Absolutely."

We dance, looking at each other's eyes. "'But soft!'" Matt suddenly says hushed. "'What light through yonder breaks? It is the East, and Tess is the sun.'"

I laugh softly. "Was that the essence of Romeo Montague I heard you channel?"

"'Tis the one and only," he replies, kissing my nose.

The night disappears in a blur and ends with me in Matthew's arms and his whispering, "Happy birthday, love."

* * *

**Was that enough fluff? Princess Salma, Lilah, Leila, and Sadye were turned in by LovableL101, Athenachild101, ilona18, and salmabookworm for winning the reference game in the last story. pipes15 also was able to do this, but I wasn't able to get a hold of her. Thank you to everyone who played!**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**Athenachild101- America has the one Maxon made for her :) Thanks for playing and I hope your character was okay! **

**agb1700- Thank you! Lurve ya!**

**lilythemermaid- Awwww you're so nice :D Olivia said Matty boy :) It's funny you say I'm smarter than the rest of you considering my age :P Girl ily so much. LALALOL**

**winterprincess- Hmm maybe the fluff will end. MAYBE. Thank you so much!**

**Kiren- I'm gonna assume Agnes is Maria? Idk. Autocorrect sucks. And no, there won't be Aspen and Lucy because I married him to Kriss before The One was released. I know. Dammit. Thank you so much!**

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Haha I'm sure you won't be #singleforever :P Yeah, Matt is my dream boyfriend too! Thanks so much!**

**ilona18- Huh, when will he spill the beans? I hope your character was okay! Thank you :)**

**PokemonLuver151- Thank YOU :)**

**Thank you guys again! **

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	11. Chapter 10

_Matthew's POV_

"Prince Matthew," Stavros says. "I hate to pester you about this, but will we reveal to the country about your heart condition?"

I sigh and run a hand through my hair. "I don't want the country to perceive me as weak. They'll regret having me as king."

This meeting is to discuss upcoming events and what order their occurrences should be. We're postponing Alexandra and Alexander's wedding until King Henry gets worse. Then again, there is that extreme slim chance that they end up falling in love. I just can't imagine what Illéa would think. Would the nation think we're bending to France's every whim because we're desperate? Or will they think that this is the right thing to do?

"Very well then," Humphrey says. "When are you planning the wedding?"

"Around autumn," I reply. "I discussed this with Tess."

"Sir, I hate to impose this, but," Humphrey hesitates. "What if you pass before then?"

"My grandfather passed three years after knowing his condition," I say.

"But who is to say that you have that long until then?" Garrison proposes.

"Well, what do you want me to do?" I retort angrily. "Do you want Tess and me to run away to some other province and elope?"

"Absolutely not," Father says across from me. "We will be there for your wedding, and so will you. The scientists are hard at work to finding a cure, and speaking of which, they want to check on you later at the Children's Hospital at around three o'clock."

I check the clock and it's about noon. "Meeting adjourned," Father announces.

I stand and sigh. "I know you still haven't told Tess yet, though I don't understand how she still hasn't seen your pacemaker." I open my mouth to explain myself, but Father holds up his hand. "Save it. I know you two spend the night together. Now answer me, how has she not noticed?"

I honestly don't know. Why hasn't she seen it? Is she pretending not to see it? "I think she was looking at my eyes the entire time."

"Well, doesn't she feel it?"

I'm suddenly really nervous. "Just tell her already," he says.

I sigh. "Fine."

I walk to Tess's room with a heavy and irregularly beating heart. I knock and Tess opens the door with a smile. I can't believe her birthday was already two weeks ago and I still haven't told her.

"Hey, Matthew," she says cheerily, her ivory dress making her dark eyes look more prominent.

I hold out my hand. "Love, I need to talk to you."

She looks scared and fearful, but she takes my hand anyway. I bring her to Our Tower, and I set her on my lap when I sit down. "Matthew, what's going on?"

"Don't worry," I whisper against her cheek. "I'm not breaking up with you."

She pulls back and touches my face. "What's wrong?"

I sigh heavily. "Do you know the cause of my Grandfather Shalom's death?"

She nods. "I was reading, and I saw that he died of a heart disease."

I gulp, trying to swallow my tears. "The disease was genetic," I say, taking a deep breath. "My heart is shitty, and I need a machine to help me live."

She stays quiet to absorb this. "When did you know?" she asks. Tess looks confused and heartbroken. Her face is pain and anguish and sadness all rolled in one.

"We were in France, and my heart hurt so much. Then I blacked out. That's why we came back so late. I was asleep for six days. It's like the driver hit the brakes, and I just stopped going."

We're quiet for a while.

I take her soft hand and put it over where my pacemaker is. "Do you feel that?"

"Is that why that bandage was over it?" she whispers. "And is that why you didn't want to go diving, and when we played Chicken we did it in water that came below your chest?"

I nod. "How didn't you not see it before I started wearing shirts to bed the night of your birthday?"

"I just focused on your eyes, and when I saw the bandage I didn't ask because I assumed if it was important you'd tell me." Tears stream down her eyes, and she puts her arms around my neck. "Matthew," she whispers. "God, you're so stupid."

"I know, love. I just didn't want to worry you."

"Why did you take me to the Boardwalk? Your heart could have stopped on any of those rides!"

"It was worth it to see you smile," I say with a sad smile.

"I hate you so much." But as she says it, she embraces me tighter.

"I have maybe three more years before I, um, you know."

"Matthew," she says. She says it over and over.

"I know, love. I know."

Tess pulls back to look in my eyes, her forehead against mine. "I'm so sorry."

"I don't want you to pity me," I say as firmly as I can with my shaking voice. "And besides, we have three years. That's enough time to make out and do other stuff." I smirk at her, and she laughs despite the tears in her eyes.

"Why is this so damn hard? Why can't we simply exist with nothing holding us back?

"Because existing is not the same as living."

We're silent again, and I say, calmly, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I wanted to give you infinite years when, in truth, I only have three."

"Matt..."

"I'm still me," I say, quieting her. "My heart, the most 'powerful' muscle in the human body, is just lazy. It's a little girl, skipping beats here and there."

"You're so stupid and poetic."

"See? I'm still not a lost cause."

Tess opens her mouth but quickly shuts it.

"I have an appointment later at three. Scientists are researching a cure as we speak, though I think it's a little ridiculous to find a cure for something genetic. That's like trying to rearrange your genes to give you red hair instead."

"May I come with you?" she asks gently. I nod. And we're quiet.

Tess sighs heavily. "I feel like I'm playing a game and Life tricks me into thinking I'm winning. And it's only until a few moments later that I realize Life cheated." She laughs against my neck. "I'm so sorry I'm being self-absorbed. I just...I can't imagine a world without you. I'd rather die than lose you."

"Hey," I say, rubbing circles on her back with my thumb. "Don't talk like that. You're going to accomplish so many things."

"But what if you're gone before you're king?"

"I'm sure my father would abdicate to let us on the throne. And when I die, you can remarry another man to—"

"No," she cuts me off. "I will not rule a day of my life without you by my side."

Silence.

"Three years," she mumbles. I kiss the tears on her face, give her one on her nose.

"That's plenty of time. We're still getting married," I say, managing a small grin.

She laughs but ends up crying more. I kiss her lips with everything I have, and I'm pissed because I can't tell if the tears I'm tasting are hers or mine.

* * *

**:(**

**I can't believe I have a hundred reviews already. I want to be happy, but this chapter was sad. And I was listening to "Habits" by Tove Lo and the chorus made me cry as I was writing this. **

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- You're good at guessing :) Thanks so much!**

**LovableL101- I'm glad you liked the Mess :) Thank you!**

**agb1700- A.M.A.Z.I.N.G.E.R. review :) Lurve ya!**

**NalissaPatali- He told her. Thanks for reviewing!**

**lilythemermaid- Heehee I'm glad you saw that :) At first I thought you were really dating Will and I was like :O Thank you :) LALOL **

**Athenachild101- I'm glad she was "perfect". :P Thank you!**

**ilona18- I'm glad you liked your character and no problem! You deserve it. Thanks so much!**

**Kiren- Haha Korean. I love your name btw. OHHHH Despicable Me. I totally forgot about that haha #blondmoment Thank you!**

**miaforevez- Haha I haven't read Romeo and Juliet but I'm glad you liked it.**

**PokemonLuver151- Matthew told her :) *sad smile*Thank you! **

**LittleMissTori- Haha I can't dance. Oh well. Thank you so much!**

**winterprincess- THE ROMEO THING! Haha that's their thing :P I don't think they did that to Michael as much because he wasn't the badass prince. But I'm sure the girls pined for Michael too ;)**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	12. Chapter 11

_Tess's POV_

"I present to you," Matthew says, bringing out the notebook protruding in between larger books, "The Matthew Schreave Bucket List, or most commonly known as the MSBL."

"This is what you were hiding from me that night," I say, looking over his shoulder and wrapping my arms around him. "You weren't writing me a letter at all."

"I did write you a song," he says.

I laugh. "Yes, you did. A very good one at that." I look at his neat script on the lined papers. "May I see what you have on here?"

"I already have some checked off the list," he says, handing me the notebook.

The things on here look completely dorky, like "pull a Romeo and monologue" and "drink milk during every meal for an entire day", but most are actually quite riveting and daring, like bungee-jumping and paragliding. Those two make me want to throw up, to be honest. Heights is a thing I fear most definitely.

As I have said, there are some already crossed out, and I realize the things we did for me were planned by Matthew, getting them off his Bucket List. The MSBL now consists of:

_4\. Speak in different languages for a whole day. _

_5\. Spend the whole day in pajamas._

_6\. Bake a cake and cook a meal for the whole family. _

_7\. Watch a "chick-flick"/super girly movie because your girlfriend insisted._

_8\. Learn how to do a back flip._

_9\. Go bungee jumping and/or zip lining._

_10\. Go water skiing._

_11\. Go paragliding._

_16\. Stay up all night._

_17\. Wake up at noon._

_20\. Go on a cruise and see a volcano._

I frown and look at him. "You gossiped?"

He runs a hand through his hair. "Yeah, Sadye was the main cause of that."

"Who was the unfortunate fellow on the other side?"

"Her ex-boyfriend, Carlos. I knew of him and how he was a player and whatever, but yeah." He puts a hand on my cheek. "Nothing about you, honey."

I laugh at the title and give him a quick kiss just because. He actually blushes, and it looks so abnormal to see him bashful. "Matthew Schreave, are you blushing right now?"

"So I suggest we should do one of these things, or more, if you want," he says, ignoring my question. "We just had dinner, so we could watch a movie, stay up all night because I don't have any meetings tomorrow."

"Yeah, that works." I look at the list again. "Have you ever tried writing poetry?"

"Nope," he says, quickly jotting down "write a poem" on the MSBL.

"So what movie are we watching?" I ask, taking his hand as we walk to the theater.

"Your choice, preferably a 'chick flick' because that's what's on the list."

"Are you up for an old one?"

"Will it make you cry and is it for girls?"

"It's one of those 'good girls meets a guy that lessens her innocence' kind of thing."

"Then let's watch it."

* * *

_Matthew's POV_

"Holy crap, that was mushy," I say when the credits roll.

Tess laughs and says, "Let's watch another one."

"Another girl movie?"

"Nah, you can cross that off. It's only eight twenty-seven. We still have about, oh, I don't know, maybe eleven hours left until the sun comes up."

I take my arm from around her and stand to change the film. "My choice this time?" I ask.

"Yeah, sure. I'm going to sneak upstairs and find a chocolate bar."

"Tess, the palace doesn't have chocolate."

"Oh, don't worry. I asked Aunt Marlee to keep a bag of dark chocolate chips for me. Sixty percent cacao!"

I laugh. "You're so weird."

"I know."

We watch a movie about this guy that has a painting of him and gets progressively uglier throughout the entire movie. By the end of it, Tess has her face buried in my shirt. "Matt, tell me when it's over," she whimpers.

"It's over," I lie. She looks and sees the man that has become the ugly painting. "Matthew!" she cries, hiding again. "It's not funny! Stop laughing!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I say through laughs. "It's so funny, though! The effects were so horrible and old."

"I swear, I'm going to find a movie about clowns gutting people to death, and you're really going to be sorry."

The movie finally ends, and Tess picks the movie.

It's about a ballerina, and to be honest, it was kind of creepy and sadistic. "How can you watch _that _and not be scared?"

"Hey, it's actually kinda good. That...shit a while ago was horrifying. I hate it. So much."

I pick the next one, a movie about cancer. It's based on a book that's not as old as Dickens', but still newer than _Morrison's Struggle _and _Researching Love_, which were written a few years ago. At the end, Tess is crying softly and wipes the tears on her face.

"Love, are you okay?" Frankly, I cried a little too. Tess is going to be that girl, and I'm going to be that boy who feared oblivion. It's like the writer knew our struggles before we were even born.

"I just...don't want to lose you," she says, her hand subconsciously touching my heart.

"You're not. Okay?"

She giggles, wiping her remaining tears. "Okay."

"Are we just going to copy them and make it our own thing?"

"Nah, I feel like that's copyright infringement in and of itself."

"We can't do always either."

"Yeah."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah's our 'okay'?"

"Mmm...yeah."

"Okay."

"Okay."

We watch a movie not nearly as inspirational, but it was good. We're both nineteen so we can watch Rated R movies now. Action-comedies are by far my favorite movies. It might have something to do with my father's like of actions and Mother's like of comedies.

Tess yawns. "Damn, what time is it?" I ask, feeling a little bleary myself.

"Four o'clock," she says, yawning again. I yawn too. "Yawns are contagious. Especially when it's with someone you love."

"_I _love _you_?" I ask mockingly. "Who said that?"

"You're so stupid, but I love you."

"I love you more."

"You're so cheesy."

I trail my finger down her neck and she purses her lips to keep from laughing. "Oh, yeah, you're ticklish!" I say. I tickle her neck and stomach and she's laughing like crazy.

"Ma...tthew! Stahhhp! You're...going to...waaaake everyooone!"

"I'm not the one making the noise!"

"My stomach...hurts! Stop!"

Tess is now on her back and I lean over her. I stopped tickling her, but she's still giggling. She stops for a couple of seconds but relapses. "What movie do you want to watch now?" I ask, still leaning over her.

She seems to read my mind when she puts her arms around me neck and smashes her lips on mine. We kiss frantically and desperately, as if we'll lose everything there is to us if we don't do this.

"I can't wait to get married," I whisper.

"Neither can I," she mumbles.

Her fingers play with the hem of my t-shirt and I take it off, greeted by the cold air against my skin. "Matthew," she breathes, pulling away for a moment.

"Yeah?"

"Can I...?" Her finger grazes over the bandage on my chest. **  
**

"It looks a little gruesome. This scar is by far the ugliest."

She peels it off gently and looks at the gash for a while, looking at the pacemaker that is slightly more elevated. She puts it back on gently and sighs.

"I told you it was ugly," I say, resting my forehead on hers.

"You're still my handsome prince, and nothing will change that." She touches my lips gently and resumes kissing me. Some of the movies we watched had people who just had sex because they loved the other. But it was before marriage. I don't know what's in me that makes me think it's so wrong to do it, but it's there.

"Do you want kids?" Tess suddenly asks.

It shocks me, actually, because I've never really thought of the possibility of having children. "The whole country would need heirs, so we'd have to have kids."

"But do you want them?" she asks persistently.

"Yeah. I do." I kiss her nose. "Our kid's going to look beautiful, because she'll look exactly like you."

"I'm betting she'll have black hair and blue eyes. She'll be pretty either way." She pauses for a moment and just looks at my eyes. "Do you want a boy or a girl?"

"It doesn't really matter," I say, kissing her again. "As long as it's my kid and yours, and that I know that we made that beautiful thing, I can die a happy man."

"Stop saying that," she mutters.

"Stop saying compliments?"

"No, stop saying that you're...going to die."

"We're all going to die. It's just a matter of when and how."

"And where," she adds.

"Smart-ass."

We continue to kiss until we hear and crash upstairs. "What the hell was that?" I say, pulling away. I turn off the lights and the screen with the remote and encase Tess in my arms. It vaguely sounds like someone's making out. We stay hushed until we see a figure emerge from the shadows. Two people, wrapped around in each other in a passionate embrace. Who is...?

The lights suddenly turn on and I realize Tess accidentally pressed the remote. "Crap," she mutters.

We look at the horrified couple's faces and realize, with surprise and maybe horror, that the couple sucking face is Alexandra and Alexander.

* * *

**Dun dun dun! PLOT TWIST! Nah, you guys were probably expecting that. I'm just going to pile on the fluff until Matthew dies. **

**WHAT?! I didn't say that! Whatchoo talkin' 'bout?! Whatchoo gon' do?! Whatchoo gon' say?!**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**LittleMissTori- Did you really cry? Just curious :P Thanks so much for still being here!**

**lilythemermaid- Aw thank you! #T_solophies. I can't say the blanks cuz that's my name lol. #Google+PostsBTW LALALALALALALALALALALALALALOL**

**LovableL101- Aw did you really tear up? Just curious :) Thank you so much!**

**magicalnerd123- Yeah...sigh. Thanks so much!**

**Kiren- Awwww give your aunt my best regards. Tell her your friend hopes she's okay! Thank you!**

**SJWrites2014- Aww thank you! Enough said :P**

**bubble4life- I may or may not write an Alexandra chapter for the next one ;-) **

**ilona18- Aww did you really tear up? Thank you so much for reviewing!**

**PokemonLuver151- THINK. Matt may or may not live. I killed Michael so I'm probably going to kill Matthew. WHAT?! Who said that!? I didn't. Matt's going to live. :) Thanks so much!**

**agb1700- I'm glad you still find this AMAZINGER. :) Thank you so much! Lurve ya!**

**prnamber3909- Hahaha run away to Vegas and elope :P It could happen. There are such things as fanfictions based on fanfictions :P INCEPTION. Thank you so much for reviewing!**

**winterprincess- You are legit the only person to be happy he told Tess. High five, sista. And yes, they will do things on the MSBL together now :) Thanks so much!**

**I just realized that this story has 116 reviews. Wow. You guys are amazing. I'm not bragging or anything, because some of you writers have more reviews than me, even with all of my stories combined. To lazy to do the math and check, but yeah :) **

**Let's have a cake vote. Tell me in the reviews what your favorite cake is. Red velvet has one vote already (ME!). I love red velvet with a passion. **

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	13. Chapter 12

_Alexandra's POV_

Prince Alexander of France...I hate to say it but I'm starting to like him. I completely underestimated him and was utterly biased. He's not so bad once I got to know him the past two weeks. He attempted to comfort me when I found out about Matthew's heart condition, but he's one of those guys that don't quite know what to say in those moments. So he just took me horseback riding that day.

The knock comes at my door at precisely four forty-seven. Alexander knows I wake up at four thirty to study and learn more languages (I'm working on Sanskrit at the moment). I open the door to him and he smiles.

"Good morning," he says.

"_Bonjour_," I reply.

"How's the Sanskrit?" he asks, walking inside.

"It was okay until I started trying to find the sentence's anagram equivalents then translating it back to English."

He gets a laugh out of that one. "That's funny."

"I find no humor in it," I say dully, though in truth, I'm just trying to conceal my amusement.

"Do you want to take a walk?" he says.

"Outside?" I ask.

"No, just here in the palace. I'm curious to see how this bustling place looks like when it's empty."

I shrug but get my robe. "It's not too exciting, but okay."

He holds out his arm and I take it. "I don't think I've given you an official tour," I say, making our way silently down the sleek marble floors.

Alex shakes his head. "No, no one really did. Everyone resents my being here."

"Not everyone," I say, noticing the new hopefulness in his stride. "My father must have thought you were a good man."

He slumps again. "Right. Your father."

It's my turn to laugh. "I'm just joking," I say. "I know how the Frenchmen value and prioritize love."

"Yes, I suppose so. In Europe, people do what they want; drink what they want; make love to whomever they want. It's not as stiff as...here."

"Alex, I hope you don't mean that," I say, warning him.

"Why not?"

"I refuse to get married to a man who doesn't value his wife's country."

"But I do value Illéa, Alexa. I was just trying to convince you that France won't be so bad when you move there."

"I thought we were outliving your father," I say, pausing my walk. We've ended up in front of the door to the theater.

"That's what was planned originally. But Alexa, I am afraid I am falling in love with you."

I shake my head. No, no. This wasn't the plan. "I don't believe you for one second, Alexander," I whisper harshly.

"You don't believe me?" he says daringly. And then he puts his arm around my waist and kisses me.

I've kissed some boys before. Don't be fooled by the quasi-perfect girl with her nose always in a book. Books are for experiencing vicariously, but sometimes I wanted to feel them for myself.

So I started dating this guard, Officer Denby, who was quite the looker if you ask me, and we kissed once in between his rounds. He was hesitant, as was I, and nothing became of it. The next boy I kissed was a young, dashing millionaire whom we had to congratulate and throw a celebratory ball for his invention of compact computers he called the laptop. He thought I was smart and beautiful and he kissed me as well. He wasn't bad if I do say so myself. The next boy I kissed was for a play, so it wasn't nearly as fun and exciting as the previous ones, but the exhilaration of kissing a man who was able to harness so much passion overwhelmed me. The next one was a disappointment because he was drunk.

I guess it's normal to compare any kiss with the ones from before.

But Alex.

His kiss is raw and fervent passion, eager even. He holds nothing back while he kisses me, and I fall into the kiss so easily that it's almost frightening. We move toward the door, both knowing that a maid or a guard could catch us. We accidentally knock over a vase, and I laugh while Alex conceals my neck with kisses. I finally find the door to the theater, and I open it.

We clumsily make our way downstairs, as it is dark and we are so lost within each other.

Then suddenly the lights turn on.

"Crap," someone says, and it's not Alex.

We spring apart like a hot flame is suddenly between us. Alex cusses in French, and I realize whom the horrified faces belong to. Matt is (shirtless, by the way) hugging Tess and they look like this compacted sandwich of two people.

"Would you care to explain what's going on here?" Matt asks, releasing Tess to put on his shirt.

"Would you care to explain?" I retort. "You guys have that look that screams 'We've been up all night!' and I know you have. Your eyes are bloodshot, your lips are chapped from making out with each other, and your eye bags are darker than our parents'. Don't deny it."

Matt and Tess look at each other. "We won't deny it," Tess says, sitting up. "Now, the question is, why are you two awake making out?"

I glance at Alex and he shoots me one back. The eloquence leaves the both of us, and we're stuttering and grabbing for words. "I wake up at four thirty everyday," I say and Alex nods.

"And I visit her each morning because I want to."

"So," Matt says, "in short, you two are falling for each other and will get married after all?"

"No," I blurt.

"The last half of that sentence has not been confirmed," Alex says.

I smack his arm and he wrinkles his nose at me.

"Do we need to tell our parents?" Matt says, looking directly at me. He doesn't know my history with men.

"No, Sir, that won't be necessary," Alex says in one breath.

Matt smirks and Tess is biting her lip to keep from laughing. "Then that title won't be necessary either," he says. "Now if you'll excuse us..." He pulls Tess closer and kisses her roughly, even for my standards. Tess looks surprised, but returns it anyway.

And now my brother and my future sister-in-law are making out on the couch. That's great. It's like those movies all over again.

Alex takes my hand and leads me back to my room. "I'm sorry for being so sudden. Was that too forward?"

I reply by placing my lips on his.

There will be one hell of a meeting someday soon.

* * *

**Just FYI, Alexandra chapters won't be a regular thing. It's just for some moments that seem a little important. **

**Question: What is your favorite fruit that is not a primary color?**

**Thank you guys sooooo much for the reviews! You guys are the best. I'd make cake for you guys if I cook, but I'm crap at baking from scratch. I'm more of a Betty Crocker type :P**

**ThisGirlActuallyReads- I love red velvet. And what's devil's chocolate? Thanks for reviewing!**

**agb1700- Idk, Matt might die. That cake you described sounds so deadly yet heavenly and AMAZINGER at the same time. Lurve ya and thank you!**

**LovableL101- Aw your tearing up makes me feel so good about my writing skills (or lack thereof). And I saw your first chapter and I am so flattered that you think my stories are an inspiration. Thank you so much!**

**Kiren- Mmmm your cake flavors sound so exotic and special. My favorite is just chocolate with red food coloring :P I may or may not kill Matty. I'm just confusing you guys so you'll have no idea :) Thanks so much!**

**Swimchick- (Love your name BTW; I used to swim but I got lazy after doing 300 meters for warm up) AND I did update Reversed, so yeah. :) Thanks so much!**

**idk1234- Hahaha this was funny. Life is mean, honey. Ask life not to be mean. Thanks for reviewing!**

**PokemonLuver151- Interesting? Or naw? Thanks for reviewing!**

**PeetaOrMaxon- Haha I'm glad you had something to do! And remaining positive is key in life :) Thank you so much!**

**lilythemermaid- #BackToPM? HAHAHA moist. Moist. Moist. I can just hear the gooeyness. Lemon cake is my second fave. Especially the one from Starbucks :) Mmmm I posted something on Starbucks. I totally go OD on my hashtags. Sigh. Thanks for still being here! LALOL**

**LittleMissTori- AHHH I could almost hear the excitement in your voice :P Yeah? Yeah. My sad attempt at trying to be John Green. But he's spectacular and I'm a teenage girl :P Thanks so much!**

**fantasybookgirl- Cheesecake used to be my favorite :) Then there was this one where it just tasted baaaaaad. So I'm back to red velvet :) Thank you so much!**

**winterprincess- Haha the UST between Alex and Alexa made it obvious :P And I don't think I've ever had tres leches...Thanks so much!**

**SJWrites2014- Dude, you're so right. Thanks for reviewing!**

**prnamber3909- Haha just stay in denial :P Thanks so much!**

**CC- Oh, yes, I know you! Your username is genius btw. Your caps-locked ridden text was so threatening! Jk. Thanks for reviewing all of my stories!**

**Whoa, I just checked how many reviews I have. You guys are legit the best people in the world. I feel like if I wrote an actual book you guys might send me those mail thingies and you'll remember my fanfic days :P That's so narcissistic. Sigh.**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl **


	14. Chapter 13

**I'm crying. Why? I wrote out this chapter that was nice and pretty then I FRICKING DELETED THE WINDOW. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?! I'M GONNA MURDER MYSELF. AHHHHHHHHHH. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to type the entire chapter again and respond to the reviews. I started at six and ended at eleven, and now it's just fugging GONE. I'm so sorry, but I want you guys to know that I loved every review and I loved knowing your favorite fruits. **

**Question of the day: What is your biggest pet peeve?**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**

_Tess's POV_

"How do you do that so easily?" Matt asks.

"I'm pretty sure I was on the diving team for a while," I say, approaching him. "You want to try again?"

"Yeah." He climbs the sand dune we made for the seventh time. "Seventh time's a charm, yeah?"

I laugh. "Yeah." I am so scared he's going to crack his head open and break his shoulder or shatter his patella, but so far he hasn't landed on anything perilous. Besides, this is sand. He probably won't get hurt landing on it. Right?

He jumps off with his back facing me, and flips in the air. He lands on his feet at first, but he falls and lands on his butt.

"That was pretty good, Matt!" I say, offering a hand to help him up. "We just have to work on your landing and you'll be an amazing back-flipper in no time, yeah?"

He laughs and brushes the sand off his trunks. "I really love the beach," he says.

It's been seven weeks since Matt's surgery, so he's allowed to do water activities again and get some stuff crossed off the MSBL. We were planning to do some things on our honeymoon, but I guess he got too impatient. (I'm in denial; Matthew just wants to do it before he...goes.)

A boy around six years old waddles to us and points at Matt's chest. "Mithter," he says, lisping, "what'th that on your chetht?"

Matthew stoops down to reach the boy's height. "Some doctors put a machine in me to help my heart work better."

"Why?" the curious child ask. "Do the doctorth think you're a robot?"

Matt chuckles. "No, they just want me to live."

"My grandpa died latht year. Or wath it latht month? I forget. But he wath really cool. He had theeth cool action figureth. Do you know who Thuperman was?"

Matt laughs again, and I think how adorable he is with children. Over the past seven weeks, we saw his baby cousin, Rose. He held it like it was a china doll, only more expensive.

"I do know who Superman is, but I'm more of an X-Men fan," Matt replies. I see the boy's mother watching the encounter from underneath her perky polka-dotted umbrella.

"Ekth-men?!" the boy cries, flailing his arms. "I love Ekth-Men! Wolverine ith my faaavorite. He ith tho cool. Like, with hith clawth thtuff? He ith awethome!"

"And you know Rogue and Storm?" Matt says, unleashing his inner nerd. I can't help but smile.

"Oh, yeah, of courth. They're hot."

Matt and I laugh, and the boy looks at me as if I haven't been standing here at all. "Do you know what Ekth-Men is?" he asks, shielding his eyes from the sun. "I don't think a girl would know what it ith."

I bend down so he doesn't have to squint with the sun behind me. "Actually, I love X-Men. I always wanted to be that Mystique girl. I thought she was always really cool."

"But she workth for Magneto!"

"I like her power, but not her alliances."

"What doth that mean?"

Right, little kids can't comprehend my sesquipedalian words. "I don't like her working for Magneto, but I like her power," I say.

"Yeeeah," he replies. "And she'th hot."

I laugh again. "Yeah, definitely."

"Your Majesties," a deep voice says from behind us. Well, technically speaking, above us. "The speedboat is ready."

"We'll be there in a few seconds, Tyson," Matt says. He turns back to the boy and asks, "What your name?"

"My name is Ruthel, mithter." Russel does a cute little salute, and I laugh at his innocence. "What'th your names?" he says, looking at both of us. "And why did that guy call you 'Your Majethteeth?'" It's so hard to understand what Russel is saying through his lisp, but Matthew catches on quick.

"I'm Matthew, and this is Tess."

"Are you guyth dating?" Russel says, pointing at us.

"Okay, Russel, that's enough." The woman from beneath the umbrella scoops him up, and Matt and I stand as well. "Thanks for tolerating his questions," she says, slightly apologetic.

"Please, it was no big deal," I say with a smile.

"Well, I hope not. You kids go have your fun."

We wave goodbye and I can faintly hear Russel say, "Mama, they're the printh and the printheth! I thwear!"

The mother laughs but glances back at us anyway, and only then does she believe her child.

* * *

_Matthew's POV_

We hop on the boat, and Tyson hands me the keys. Driving is always exhilarating, but driving a boat is a different story entirely. The wind rushes through my hair, and the ocean spray is salty and cold. I love it.

"Tess, do you want to drive?" I yell over the crashing waves and the roaring engine.

"I can barely drive a car!" she says.

"That's called dysphemism. You got your license four weeks ago and the guy said you were fine."

"That's because the guy was half-asleep."

"Better than crying in fear! Love, come on."

She sighs but walks to me anyway, and I set her on my lap. She takes hold of the steering wheel, and I look over her shoulder. "I'll handle the throttle and whatnot. You can steer."

"What if I want to handle the throttle and whatnot?" she says, effortlessly steering through the ocean. I let go of the throttle, and she drives for a while. "It's not as exciting as you make it out be, Matt," she calls over her shoulder.

Tess releases the wheel and lets me drive again. "You ungrateful women and your lack of the need for speed," I tease.

"You men and your way with driving."

"Your Majesties, are you ready for water skiing?" Tyson asks.

"Absolutely!" Tess says, and I put the boat on neutral.

"Tess, you should go first. You seem the most excited."

"Yeah..." She has a giddy smile on her face and it's so cute seeing her so excited.

I get out my camera and she's already holding the black bar that's tethered to the boat. "Ready?" I say.

"Yeah!"

"Hit it, Tyson."

It is so enjoyable to see her scream and smile with the water behind her. "THIS IS SO AWESOME!" she yells. The pictures I get are amazing, and sometimes the subject of the photo is more important than the photo itself. Pictures are so much more trustworthy than brains. At least I know they'll retain the memories.

* * *

_America's POV_

"Maxon!" I yell through my office door.

He runs in frantically. "What, what? Are you alright?" He takes my face between his hands, and I smirk.

"I'm fine. I just needed help with scheduling."

"Dammit, woman," Maxon says, exhaling. "Try and tell me that without giving me a heart attack."

"So I'm trying to plan the twins' birthday party, and—"

"Wait, their birthday is when again?" He sits on the edge of my desk.

"Next Thursday, Max. Geez, you're getting old," I tease.

He laughs. "Not. Funny."

"Then why'd you laugh?" I say smugly.

"Because I know where your ticklish spot is." He starts to tickle my stomach and I can't stop laughing.

"Stop! I'm getting a cramp!"

"And you say I'm getting old," he mocks, that silly grin still on his face.

"I'm putting up the white flags! Stop it!"

He pulls his hands from me and says, "You were saying?"

I laugh, but my train of thought crashes when the door leading to the hallway bursts open. Alexandra and Alexander walk in calmly, but I can tell in their eyes they are anything but. Alexander proposed to her a last week, so the king is no longer in our agenda. But what in the world...?

"Mother, Father," Alexandra says. "I'm pregnant."


	15. Chapter 14

_Tess's POV_

"Alexa is what?!" I say, dropping _Jane Eyre._

"She's pregnant, Tess," Riley says sitting next to me. Today was supposed to be a relaxed day in the Women's Room, but no. When Matt and I got home last night, everyone looked frazzled, but no one wanted to tell us just yet.

Riley spilled the beans a few minutes ago. "Wait, how?" I ask, then shake my head. "Actually, I know how. That's not the point. They broke the law?"

Riley nods. "Dad was furious last night. I could hear them, even through the supposedly soundproof doors. Tess," she says, grasping my hands. "My twin sister, who isn't even seventeen yet, is _pregnant._"

"I know, I know." I wish I didn't, though. I just can't think that this would happen. Matt and I have been very clear to each other that though we want all of each other, we'd wait for our wedding night.

"This is, like, an episode of 'Sixteen and Pregnant,'" Riley whines. "This is horrible! This is happening to my own sister! My _twin _sister, who is a genius and a prodigy and way too smart to let this happen."

That's right. It leads me to suspicion. Did Alexander...? "Riley," I say flatly. "What if Alex...forced himself upon her?"

I wait a little for the words to sink in, and when they finally do register in her brain, she gasps and stands up quickly, yanking me up with her. "Tess!" She grabs my shoulders and shakes me. "What if he did?!"

"Then we ask her!" I yell right back.

"Come on, we have to go see her."

As she pulls my by the hand, I ask, "Does Matthew know?"

She shakes her head. "We're waiting to light that bomb later on. Matt was really close to her. I don't think he'd handle it very well."

"Does Jerome know?" I ask.

"Does Jerome know what?" Jerome walk casually from around the corner and looks at both of us. We stop dead in our tracks, probably looking like deer caught in headlights.

"Um..." Riley says.

"Well, you'll find out soon, yeah?" I say. "Come on, Riley."

Jerome follows us in our stride, and it's easy for him since he's taller. He speaks in rapid Swendish to Riley, and the girl replies in the language almost angrily. I can't understand what they're saying. Swendish sounds like a guttural mix of German and French and vaguely Russian. I don't know what they're saying! Not knowing something bothers me so much my skin prickles and the hair on my arm stands.

We finally reach Alexa's room and Riley knocks. I don't think she notices how tightly she's holding my hand. "Alexa? It's Riley."

I vaguely hear a retch, and Riley must have heard it too. She opens the door and rushes to the bathroom, still dragging me with her. Her palm is so sweaty, and I can tell how scared she is. She's going to be an aunt. Matt will be an uncle. America and Maxon are going to be grandparents.

The thought of that actually nauseates me a little.

Alexander and Alexandra turn to us when we burst into the bathroom. Alex is holding Alexa's honey blond hair back as she throws up in the toilet. The French prince rubs her back comfortingly and speaks to her in French the whole time, saying things like "you'll be okay" and "I love you."

Riley, still holding my hand like we are handcuffed together, storms to Alex and yells angrily in French, "Did you get Alexandra pregnant?"

He frowns. "I'm not sure what you mean. Yes, I suppose, considering that we are engaged and that she is not with anyone else."

"I mean did you force yourself upon her?"

Alexa moans and walks to the sink to wash her face. "Riley," she says calmly, tiredly, "this isn't just Alex's fault. We both chose to do it that night."

"But why?" Riley says, finally letting go of my hand. I walk backwards a little and hide behind Jerome. "Alexandra, you're smart. How could you possibly do this so carelessly?"

Alexa shrugs and takes Alexander's hand. "When you're in love, you'd do anything for the other person. Sometimes the law is worth breaking."

"Alexa! I love Jerome, but I wouldn't break the law!"

"Then maybe you don't love him," Alexa says, her brown eyes hardened and narrowed.

Hurt flashes in the other twin's blue eyes. "Alexa—"

"Get out," she says fiercely. "All three of you. I'm so sick and tired of people judging my decisions. I don't care if you think it's wrong. I know what I believe in, and I know that this is right."

Tears run down Rilane's cheeks. "Alexandra, please—"

"I said out."

A hurt whimper comes from the blue-eyed twin, and she walks out with her shoulders shaking. I look at Jerome and we both follow, his closing the door silently seeming to echo in my head. Possibilities are ended when a certain event happens, but new ones always begin.

Jerome finds Riley in her room, and I offer a small smile to him before leaving him to comfort his...girlfriend? Yeah, they're not engaged yet.

I can't believe this is still happening. I heard America and Maxon were angry; what must be King Henry's reaction? He'd want to push the wedding even sooner. Alex and Alexa would get married before Matt and I would, securing their spot on the French throne. As soon as Henry dies, the Alex's will be ruling. That would probably be before Matt and I would get to rule. I remember what he said about Maxon abdicating to let Matthew and I rule before Matt passes, whenever that is.

I'm still so angry at the world. We walk through a sunny day, and the rays of light are hidden behind enormous mountains. The mountains threaten to hail down falling rocks, and it will laugh at us when we are buried under a boulder. It's just the way life is. Life is a player that will do anything to win. I think about what Matt said once. I asked why we couldn't simply exist without anything. He answered me, saying that existing isn't the same as living.

And he's right.

I look out the window looking out to the gardens. Matt, Xander, Maria, even Maxon, and a man who I don't know are playing football outside. Well, as best they can with five players. I've never played football. I watched once with Matt, and damn, it doesn't make a single drop of sense. All I see is pass, tackle, start over. Its staccato rhythm bothers me so much. Can't it just keep going in one fell swoop?

I decide to join them anyway, but I want to invite America. She sounds like she needs a break. I stop by her office after changing to pants and a loose sweater.

"America?" I say, knocking on her door.

"Come in!" I hear. I enter and she's frantically running around the office. Her red hair is wild and untamed as strands spring out of her already messy bun. Her blue eyes are bloodshot, and her fingers are quickly rifling through every paper in the room. "Oh, hi, Tess," she says, plopping down on her chair only to stand up again to find another paper.

"Mom, you okay?"

"Oh, I'm doing great. Just, you know, filing some things, and trying to distract myself."

I sit on the edge of her desk. "This is about Alexandra, isn't it?"

Suddenly, she throws all of the papers in the air. "I just don't understand!" she cries, burying her hands in her hair. "She's sixteen, and her birthday is next week, but it's also Rilane's because they're twins, duh. And there's just so much planning and it's so impossible and I just can't think of anything other than the fact that she's pregnant. She's pregnant, Tess! What teenager gets pregnant?! At least I was married when I had Michael." Her voice becomes strangled at the mention of her first child.

I walk to her and hug her. "Mom, you have to relax. You're going to have an aneurysm, I swear. Just...calm down."

She hugs me back tightly. "I'm going to be a grandmother. I'm not ready to be a grandmother!"

"I know. Think of it this way, though: you'd rather have there be a happy, healthy baby than a miscarried baby, right?"

I can feel her nod against head. "Yes, I guess so."

Pulling back, I say, "Do you want to play football? The boys are outside and so is Maria."

"I still don't understand it, but okay."

"Thank goodness, I thought I was the only one."

America laughs and we walk to the gardens together. "I'll plan the twins' party."

"Tess, no. I'm their mother and the queen—"

"Well, I'm your future daughter-in-law, their future sister-in-law, the princess of Italy, the future princess of—"

"Okay! I get it. No need to rub it in." She elbows me playfully, and I can't help but smile.

"I'm just saying. You have enough on your plate." I squint at the bright sun. "I'm guessing Alexa's wedding would be soon?"

"Yes, we'd need to pass the baby as premature. Then the country won't even know. She'll probably start to show in about a week, give or take a few days."

"Don't you think they would have used protection, though?" I say, feeling my ears warm at the thought. "I mean, they both seem smart."

"Yeah, I don't really want to know the details. Whatever happened, happened. No point in trying to elaborate on something you don't know."

"Yeah."

We meet the boys and Matt introduces me to the unknown man. I smile and hold out my hand. "Carter Woodwork," I say. "You're Marlee's husband."

Carter smiles and kisses the back of my hand respectfully. "A pleasure to meet you, princess."

"Please call me Tess," I say hurriedly. "Titles remind me of the many things I have to do."

Everyone laughs at that. "As you wish," he replies. "I have to go back to work. It was nice playing with you four," Carter says, gesturing to Matt, Maxon, Maria, and Xander. We wave goodbye as he heads back to the stables.

The six of us are split up into teams, boys against girls. Maria, America, and I know we're going to lose, but that feminism in us makes us want to be on the opposite team. It's just fun.

Right?

Wrong.

Boys do not mess around when it comes to football. Their focused, competitive faces frown at us and squint against the sun. They're crushing us already, but they huddle around anyway. America smirks at us and gathers us in a huddle too.

"Okay, who else thinks that our men look so hot right now?"she says with a childlike tone.

Maria and I burst out laughing. "I know, right?" I say. "Look at them. They look either super focused, super constipated, or super sexually frustrated."

We sneak a look at them, and my words stand true. We girls giggle together and yell "Break!" as if we had something important to discuss. We took off our shoes a long time ago, and the grass feels so good beneath my toes.

It's like the three of us mentally conspired to start screwing around when the guys score another point. When Matt has the ball, I start waving my hands furiously in front of his face. "You can't get past me, Matthew." His concentration does not wither as he throws the ball to Xander. Maria tries the same tactic, jumping up and down resembling an angry flamingo trying to fly. When Xander passes the ball to his father, America pretends to faint.

"America!" Maxon says, throwing the ball up in the air. Luckily, I'm prepared. I run to the ball before it lands. I sprint to the other end as fun as I can. Matt catches me at the waist and carries me. He's laughing now, and so am I.

"Unhand me, you fiend!" I say.

He runs with me over his shoulder to his goal. I toss the ball to Maria, and she catches it. "I got it!" she yells. She runs to our end then fakes running to the left. Xander is running in stride with her and is ready to lunge to the left, but Maria is quite slippery as she jumps over his outstretched arm and runs to our end.

"I did it!" she says. America and I join her and hoist her on our shoulders. "We got a point! We got a point!" we chant.

"We still won! We still won!" they retort. Men.

"By, like, nine points," America yells at them.

That coaxes a laugh out of everybody, and I feel like I'm the one laughing at the heavy mountain of Life. I've lifted the boulder and I can see the sun again.

And of course, I'm buried and suffocating again when Matthew collapses to the ground.

* * *

**Thanks for the reviews, guys! Question of the day: Favorite sport? Oh, and have any of you heard of Pentatonix? LOVE THEM.**

**LovableL101- Ignorance is one of my biggest pet peeves too :) And thank you so much! **

**ChatterboxChipmunk- I know it's you :) I remember. I totally get what you mean about people letting fame get to their heads. It's frustrating. Thanks so much!**

**agb1700- Haha thanks :P Lurve ya!**

**bubble4life- Ooh, hypocrites are so annoying. Like, hypocrisy is my thing. Get it? Lol I don't think I'm not such a hypocrite anymore. I used to be super bad with that, but I got more conscious :) Thanks so much! **

**ThisGirlActuallyReads- Oh shnap :P Thank you!**

**LittleMissTori- Yeah, it's super awk when someone just touches your hair. That's just weird. Thank you so much!**

**ilona18- Snappity snap snap. Thanks so much!**

**SJWrites2014- Haha amen, sista. Thank you so much!**

**Clara Harkness- Aww thank you! This made me happy! I'm so glad you're not getting bored! Omnipresent paranoia that people won't like my stories anymore just disappeared :) Thanks so much!**

**Guest- GASP! Haha thank you!**

**PokemonLuver151- What will happen? Thanks so much!**

**winterprincess- Haha "I know how." That's funny. Oh spoilers are the worst. I think my biggest pet peeve is someone who's close-minded. I like to think of myself as very imaginative and adventurous, so naturally I like people who are open to things. Get what I mean? Thank you so much!**

**prnamber3909- ...Haha...Thanks so much!...I think...**

**HikariTheNormaller- LOL literally :P Hahaha yes, it's going to be Romeo and Juliet. Tess and Matt are going to kill themselves for the sake of love :P Thanks soooooo much! AHHHHHH**

**dakotamo- Heehee fluff. It's not getting OD? Please tell me if it is :-/ Thank you so much!**

**CC- Ew, I know this guy who chews food with his mouth open *shudders* That's gross. And that last sentence of yours is scary. You'd have to kill me first to make me stop eating red velvet! Wait...I just got that. GASP! Thank you so much!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	16. Chapter 15

_Matthew's POV_

I wake up feeling groggy and lightheaded. The lights are dim and the curtains are closed even though it's pitch black outside. The white walls and the array of cots registers in my mind as the hospital wing. I try to sit up, but my chest hurts from the pain.

Did I seriously black out again? Damn you, heart.

Every nerve is now on high alert, and I can feel a hand loosely holding mine. Tess is asleep on the floor with her head on the cot. That looks extremely uncomfortable, but at the same time I don't want to wake her up. As if sensing that I'm awake, my mother on the chair sits up.

"How are you feeling, Matthew?" she asks, stretching.

"Water," I manage to say, the word sounding like it was gargled and incinerated.

Mother nods and gets a glass of water next to me. She helps me sit up, and I notice the infinite things attached to my chest.

"What time and what date is it?" I ask after downing the entire glass. It was lukewarm and it threatens to come back up.

"It's three in the morning of June eighth."

"So I haven't missed the party?"

"Matt, you were literally asleep for twelve hours. The only thing you missed was dinner." Mother points to a tray on the side table. "Would you like some? It's tomato soup, and it's warm...sort of. I could ask a maid to heat it for you."

I smile weakly. "Mother, it's fine." Still, she adjusts my cot to make it upright at a 140-degree angle. "How long has Tess been sleeping on the floor?"

"Well, she's been at your side since you blacked out," Mother replies. "Then she had her dinner here, though she didn't eat much because she was so worried about you. Then she fell asleep some time in between then and now."

"Should I wake her up?" I ask. "I've never been in this situation."

Mother laughs softly. "What situation? Needing to make a girl comfortable?"

"Yeah, having a life-threatening defect then needing to comfort the girl."

It sobers my mother up pretty quickly. "Matthew, please don't talk like that."

"I can't help—"

Tess suddenly jerks up, her hand tightening on mine for a second. Her eyes are wild and frenzied, her hair loose in its braid. She has imprints on her cheek from the creases on the sheet. "Matthew," she breathes. "You're awake."

I smile and bring her hand to my lips. "Thanks for staying with me."

Tess raises her eyebrow and smirks. The Tess Look makes an appearance yet again. "Of course," she says coyly. "I couldn't pass up the opportunity to see your shirt off."

"Ahem," Mother coughs.

Tess's eyes widen again and stands quickly. "Uh, I, uh...I don't have an excuse for that one."

Mother laughs and it's such a sight to see the two of the most important women in my life getting along. Tess pulls a chair for herself, and she stretches. "I had the strangest dream."

"What was it?" I ask, taking her hand again.

"I was a college student again, and I was an intern at this medical lab. They had a cure."

The words hang in the air like a cloud. "Memory or imagination?" she asks. When Mother and I don't answer, Tess says more impatiently, "Memory or imagination?"

"We don't know," Mother says, an assortment of emotion creeping into her voice. "Where was your internship?"

"It was actually here in Angeles," Tess replies. "The medical company had been here for a long time. Like, pre-Illéa. I remember my dad—my adoptive dad—telling me about it because he worked for that company. Actually, if I remember correctly, the headquarters isn't that far from here. An hour or so by car." She says all of this in one breath, and she has every right to be excited about it.

I could get cured.

I could see my children and my grandchildren and my great-grandchildren.

I could live.

"Love, I really hope this isn't an imagination," I tell her.

"Me too," she replies, chewing the inside of her lip. She turns to my mother and says, "Mom, you better get some rest upstairs. I woke up about an hour ago and Maxon was going to carry you upstairs."

Mother laughs. "Why didn't he?"

"He said 'you looked peaceful and he didn't want to bother you.'" Tess uses air quotes while smirking.

"Ugh, that lazy butt." Mother says it affectionately, though, and she stands. "Matt, Tess, you two okay here?"

"Yeah," we say at the same time. We look at each other knowingly, and Mother shakes her head with a small smile on her face. Her red hair disappears behind the door.

"Do you ever have that feeling where you feel like you're awake but not really?" Tess says, staring at the cot across from us.

"Yeah."

"Yeah, I just got that feeling."

"Come here." I move over to make some room for her on the bed. After arranging the wires for a bit, she settles down close to me. "How are you?"

She frowns a bit. "That was random."

"I can't just ask how my fiancee is doing?"

"Yeah, that's not allowed," she jokes. "Um, I'm doing fine. I'm a bit tired still, but I don't think I'll be able to go back to sleep." Her fingers lightly touch my stomach and I suck in a breath. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm feeling like the king of the world. I'm car that just keeps going."

"That's good." She closes her eyes and says, "Can we make the bed back to 180-degrees?"

"That's what I was thinking." I fiddle with the controls on the side of the cot, and we're back to lying flat. Tess takes off her sneakers and rests her head at the crook of my neck. It's so cliche to say this, but her head fits there like our bodies were made to embrace.

"I told your mother that I'd plan Riley and Alexa's birthday," she says quietly.

"Love, don't you have enough to do?"

"Like what? Worry about everything while everyone else does things? Your mother has enough on her plate. It's about time I acted like a responsible princess."

"I love that about you," I mumble.

"What?"

"I love how you end up helping other people when you mean to do something benefiting yourself."

"Matt, stop it. You make me sound like a good person when, in truth, I'm selfish and narcissistic." She pulls back to look in my eyes. "I spend a good amount looking at myself in the mirror."

"It's because you are human and you can't help but admire beauty."

She rolls her eyes but rests her head against my neck again. "See? We're talking about me again. It's always me. It's almost like I'm the main character in everyone's life story. Don't even answer that one. I'm not in the mood to argue how self-absorbed I am."

"Do you want to bake a cake when I get out of this bed?" I ask after a while.

"Sure, what kind?"

"Whatever you want."

"No."

"Fine, I know how to make chocolate, because it's my father's favorite; vanilla with chocolate frosting, _specifically_, because it's my mother's favorite; carrot cake, because it's my favorite; ice cream cake because it's Xander's favorite." I pause. "And lemon because it was Michael's favorite."

We wordlessly decide we're making a lemon cake.

"What's your favorite, love?"

I can feel her shrug, because my eyes are now closed too. "Red velvet. Do you like ice cream?"

Our questions are like fireworks that have already burst in the air; you won't know they're there until you see them and you won't know where they came from.

"Yeah."

"My favorite is cookies and cream."

"That reminds me of my childhood."

"...Yeah, I guess it does."

"I like dulce de leche."

"Mm, my fancy man."

"Your one and only." I open my eyes to look at her again because I am human. "Will you sing for me?"

She nods and sings softly. I suddenly recognize the song I wrote for her, but she's making it her own and modifying some notes here and there. To be honest, it probably sounds better than the original did. She finishes the chorus, but she continues.

"We're talking.  
We're laughing.  
I've never felt like this before.  
It's so new,  
But so right.  
Come dance with me in the rain tonight.

Cuz you make my whole world brighter.  
I can't go a day without you, oh.  
Life drives me crazy.  
When you're not around, I go insane.  
Please tell me you feel the same way.  
Don't go away.  
Don't go away."

I kiss her forehead. "I won't. I promise."

"I made that up right now, by the way," she says, trying to change the subject.

"You're a genius like that, yeah?"

"Yeah."

"What time is it?" I ask.

"Four."

"Already?"

"Mmhmm."

"The Alex's will be up by now."

"Yeah."

"Yeah."

I hear her softly snoring five minutes later. I, as an insomniac, think that I'll sleep in maybe thirty more minutes. But I'm asleep as fast as she.

* * *

**I'm loading on the fluff. Sorry?**

**Question of the day: Favorite ice cream flavor? Oh, and Pentatonix: I love that badass guy who has a super deep voice. He makes the whole thing so well-rounded and it's just so badass how his voice is like *deep voice* OOOOO. My fave is the Daft Punk one. WAIT WAIT HOLD UP: ARE MITCH AND SCOTT DATING?!**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**LittleMissTori- Guy sports are fine! I played football once, but I ended up running into a six footer and land on my back and skin my elbow...And he was my science teacher...AWKWARD! Thank you so much!**

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**bubble4life- Hehehe. LOVE Pentatonix :) Basketball isn't my thing. I'm too short and I can't catch balls :P Thank you!**

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**winterprincess- AW thanks for this long review! Maria is 15, the twins are 16 turning 17 in the next chapter...I think. As for a boy or a girl...**

***POLL: Who wants the baby to be a boy or a girl? (considering the possibility I don't kill of this baby either...or I make it, like, oddly deformed)***

**ilona18- Haha do you watch the World Cup? Thanks for reviewing!**

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**salmabookworm- I'm too short for basketball too! Thanks for reviewing!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	17. Chapter 16

_Matthew's POV_

"Aunt Marlee, can we make dinner for the family tonight?" I ask.

"Ooh, and can we bake a cake?" Tess adds. "Lemon, specifically."

Aunt Marlee frowns but shrugs. "Okay, I guess." She's been appointed head of the royal kitchens since my mother became queen. "Everyone, the prince and the princess are making dinner tonight. Be back down here at eight when the meal is finished so we can wash the dishes."

Everyone takes off their aprons and sets down their utensils. We planned it to be four o'clock to make sure that we had time to mess up and to ensure that the cooks haven't started cooking yet. Luckily, they haven't.

The staff empties out of the kitchens, happy for their impromptu four-hour break. "Matthew, you know where to find the stuff," Aunt Marlee says. "Promise me you won't destroy anything?"

"Promise," we both say.

"Excellent. The cookbooks are in the cupboard if you want. Have fun!" Aunt Marlee disappears up the stairwell.

"Tess, do you know how to cook?" I ask her.

"Maybe? I'm good at following directions, though." She grabs an apron and hands me one. "I feel so professional."

"It's only a feeling," I tease. She lightly hits my arm with a wooden spoon. It didn't hurt, but I squeal "ow!" anyway. "Okay, directions: get flour, sugar, lemons, butter, milk, vanilla extract, and mint, because Michael liked it with milk."

"On it, sir," she says, saluting. I laugh and start cooking the pesto pasta with Chicken Marsala. "Love, how many cups of what?" she asks, coming back with everything in her arms. I quickly scrawl down the measurements while the water's boiling.

"There you go," I say, returning to my cooking. Dinner is going to be fantastic.

_Thirty minutes later_

"Pasta's done," I announce. "I'm going to start the chicken."

"Yeah, good for you," Tess mutters.

"Are you having trouble baking a cake?"

"What? No, it's already in the oven." I look at her and can't help but laugh. Her hands and her face are still white from the flour. She looks like a ghost.

She rolls her eyes and goes to wash her hands. "You meanie," she says, pouting.

"Were you making frosting yourself?"

"Yep, I remembered how. It tastes pretty good, if I do say so myself."

I go to the bowl where she was making frosting and swipe my finger in it. "Mm, yeah, that's really good," I say.

"Matthew!" She grabs the bowl away from me and says, "I love doing this."

"Baking?"

"No, just acting like a normal couple. If we were just regular people, do you think we'd be doing this?"

I start to cut the chicken breasts into halves. "Probably not all the time. I'm assuming it would get tiring after a while. You'd probably be at work, doing some fancy medical stuff, and I'd maybe be a literature professor."

"Mm, a professor," she says coyly. "Sounds sexy."

"Go back to baking, woman."

* * *

_Tess's POV_

So dinner last night was a blast. People liked the cake, and it tasted okay. To be honest, I think they were just saying that to make me feel better, and I think they remembered it was Michael's favorite.

We're at the Novartis headquarters now, which is still in Angeles. Doctors in white medical labs run to and fro and I admire them so much for being able to use their intelligence for the better. Here at the research division, people sit in front of computers, looking up things. They found an anticancer agent back in 2014. It fills me with tears to know that these people saved thousands, maybe millions, of lives. Three months from my internship here fills my mind. I'm praying to God that that dream is a memory and not an imagination.

I had a dream last night where we went to a hospital for Matthew. The line was long and my patience was short, so I started cutting people, but I kept getting farther away from the building. I feel as if Life is telling me that I'm only farther away from meeting my goals. Stupid Life.

"Your highness," a tall doctor says, walking out of the testing room. They told me to wait outside as they checked their database for any cure of cardiomyopathy.

"Did you have anything, doctor? How is Matthew?" I'm anxious yet eager for the doctor's answer.

"The prince is doing fine, your highness. We're taking samples right now. As for the cure, I am afraid that we don't have any progress as of late. We've been looking for a cure since the queen's father passed away of cardiomyopathy, but we've made some small advances toward an actual cure."

"What would be the cure?"

"This cure isn't like your average vaccination. The pacemaker is doing a lot of help, but I heard that he fainted after a game of football. We recommend he not do any extraneous movements that might cause his arrhythmia to, so to speak, activate. The cure would probably something we'd have to attach to his heart."

"Is there any alternative?" I ask.

The doctor blinks, hesitating. "Er, yes, but it's risky and it hasn't been done since pre-Illéa."

"What is it?"

"A heart transplant."

A gasp escapes me. "Heart transplant?" I've never even heard of such a thing.

"Yes. We've taken some look into it, but we haven't really tried it. The procedure would be complicated, and even then, he'd have an average of fifteen years left in his life."

"Fifteen?" I ask, shocked. That's not enough time. There's never enough time.

"The prince would live well into his thirties with the heart transplant. We would need a donor as well, a working heart from a recently-deceased person."

"I suppose that's not the biggest problem, is it? Finding a donor, I mean."

He shakes his head. "No, not even that. The procedure itself would be very difficult, but not impossible. It has been done before."

"But, as you said, surgery would just be an alternative, correct?"

"If there is no sign for any possible cure, then no, it wouldn't be an alternative. That would ultimately be our cure."

I don't respond for a while. A very risky procedure with an uncertain outcome doesn't sit well in my stomach. "I'll give you some time to think about that, your highness," the doctor says, turning around.

"Wait!" I say before he enters the room. "I didn't catch your name."

He smiles. "Jeremiah Masterson."

The name clicks in my head. "Do you, by any chance, know Natalie Luca? She was a candidate from the king's Selection."

"Yes, actually. Natalie is my wife."

I smile. "Small world."

"Yes, it is."

* * *

**So throughout my stories, you find out what I did to most of the Elite. **

**America: Queen  
Celeste: Bitchy model who helped with the Caste Placement Tests  
Elise: ... I don't think I've put her in the story YET, but I'm open to any suggestions!  
Kriss: Married to Aspen Leger (I would have had him marry Lucy but I wrote the first chapters of "The Fire" before _The One_ was released.)  
Marlee: Works at the royal kitchens as head chef; married to Carter, who works at the stables; godmother to America's children  
Natalie: Married to a doctor who helped her out of her mental instability when Natalie's sister died.  
**

**I don't have any specific ages for them, but assume that they are in their thirties. **

**Question of the day: Who knows what Soundcloud is? Oh, and it's so funny how many of your favorite ice cream flavors were cookies and cream.**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**LittleMissTori- Aww you're crying? And yes, I was trying to pull a TFiOS. Sue me? Disclaimer? Idk. Thank you so much!**

**LovableL101- I'm so happy you still think this is going well! Thanks so much!**

**agb1700- OMG The Bachelorette was cray. I didn't cry, though. TV shows and movies have to be really good to make me cry (e.g. TFiOS) Thank you so much for pointing out that thing! I updated it to birthday btw. Lurve ya!**

**Guest- You want a miscarriage? Dayyum :P I'll take that into consideration :) Your review was actually full of great ideas. Thank you!**

**bubble4life- 1. Dude, I love lists, this made me squeal; 2. He'll find out soon enough; 3. That's a weird coincidence :P ; 4. Avi is a badass name and I looove Kevin; 5. That's a really good song to do an acapella version; 6. THEY'RE DATING?!; 7. Awww you flatter me :D Thank you so much!**

**ChatterboxChipmunk- Mm mango green tea sounds yummers. Wait, they AREN'T dating? I'm confused. Thank you so much! And give me a heads up on your new username :) **

**Please-and-Thankyou's- Yay! I'm glad you like it! Thank you!**

**fantasybookgirl- Mmm cookie dough is my faaaave. That or mint ice cream. They actually hold really special places in my heart...and my stomach :) Thank you so much!**

**KhrystineR- Yay! New reviewer! And happy belated birthday! I totally read your mind on that :P Awww this review...I can't get over how sweet this is :) Thank you so much!**

**ilona18- Heehe I have a hard time sometimes separating Tess and myself. Ice cream is da bomb diggity :) Thank you!**

**PokemonLuver151- Thanks so much!**

**winterprincess- Cookies and cream lol. Girl, boy, or dead? To live, or not to live. That is the question :P Thank you so much!**

**HikariTheNormaller- Mmm my stories are giving you THOSE kinds of dreams :P Jk jk. Awww you are soooo nice! Thank you soo much! I update because I get reviews! The more reviews I get the more motivated I am :P Thank you so much!**

**WinteryRose- I actually really appreciated the advice. And in response to the Tess being the solution to every problem thing, I wasn't planning on her finding the cure anyway. I promise you. I'd reveal what I intended, but that would be a spoiler and I feel like it's going to be that issue where you won't believe me and I only changed the plot because you told me about it. I'm not that person. Thank you, though.**

**SelectionLoverForever- Thank you sooo much! That means the world to me! **

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	18. Chapter 17

_Matthew's POV_

"Have you ever been in a play?" I ask Tess. Today's a lazy day where we want to fulfill numbers fifteen, and seventeen on the MSBL (for those who haven't memorized my bucket list, those numbers are eating no meat for a whole day, and waking up at noon).

"Yeah, it was _Romeo and Juliet _actually," she replies. "It was a love story and I had a male counterpart that I had to kiss."_  
_

"You said you never kissed anyone before me, though."

"I didn't count it as a real kiss with real feelings."

We're quiet for a while. "So how was it compared to me?" I ask, trying for the cocky angle once more.

"Oh, he was _so _much better," she answers me, a wicked smile on her face. "He used his tongue, and it was just...damn."

"You're awful," I say, pouting. "Do you enjoy torturing me?"

"Only when you least expect it," she says. "I'm joking. He was okay, but _nothing _compared to you."

"Yeah?" I ask, putting a finger under her chin.

"Yeah." Just before her lips touch mine, someone knocks on the door.

"I'll get it," Tess grumbles. She rolls out of bed and opens the door to my mother.

"Oh, Tess!" Mother exclaims. "Well, I should have suspected it. You guys better go down for lunch. You two already missed breakfast."

We grumble our yeses and Tess whispers something in Mother's ear. "Oh, that sounds really fun," my mother says with a quiet smile. "Do you need someone to drive you?"

"Nope, I can manage. Is that fine, or do you want us to stay here at the palace?"

"You better do it today, because you two have a press conference tomorrow, and a photo shoot the next day, an interview after that, then the twins' birthday the next day." Shit, we have a busy week. "Thank you so much for planning the whole thing, by the way. Tess, you really helped out a lot."

"Of course," Tess replies cheerily. "Anything for my future mother-in-law."

"Oh, speaking of which, you and Matthew have to get started on wedding planning."

I groan from the bed and bury my head under the pillows. "Men these days," I hear Mother's muffled voice.

"Tell me about it. Okay, thanks, Mom. We'll be down in a few minutes."

Tess closes the door and grabs the pillow covering my head. She starts hitting me with it and I moan. "Stop it. Let me sleep."

"Matthew, wake up. It's time to get up."

A depressing thought enters my mind: I'll never know if this morning will be the last with Tess in my arms. I'll never know if this will be the last time I get up out of bed.

So I somberly get up and smile. "Alright."

"Huh. That was easier than I thought." She goes to her room to change and get ready for the day.

I guess depression is a side effect of dying.

* * *

_Matthew's POV_

Tess drives to the Angeles Theater with me in the passenger seat. I don't know where we're going. She just told me to wear a suit, and here she is, her dark blue dress glittering in the dim street lights as we zoom down the freeway. _This could be the last time I sit in a car. _I mentally curse myself. What good does it do to think what the world will be like without me? I feel like I've been taking my entire life for granted. I've been living with crystal chandeliers and a loving family and an entire staff of maids and guards to protect me.

And what did I do?

I sat in the library for hours, reading because I wanted to live someone else's life and feel something else. If I had known that I had only a handful of years left, I would have lived my own life. If I would have known, I would have spent every minute with Michael, the twins, Xander, my parents. Why does Life have to be so shitty? I feel so terrible. I feel terrible I wasted nineteen years of my life with an indefinite number of days left. I feel terrible I'm wallowing in my own misery.

A warm, small hand takes mine. "You okay, Matthew?" Tess asks, looking at me when there's a stoplight.

I smile. "Yeah."

What will it feel like when I die? Will it be a bright light and gradually ebb to a different dimension? Will I see God before my very eyes while I look down and see my own Lifeless body? Will it be white hot and painful until I succumb to numbness? Then what will happen after? Will I get to see Michael with Evelyn and my grandfathers, both the terrible and the great that I never knew? Is this how grandma Amberly feels? Does she know that we have a limited supply left?

There are too many questions without answers.

"Matt, what in the world are you thinking about?" I hate how miserable I'm feeling when Tess thinks I'm fine and painless.

"Just where you're taking me," I lie without hesitation. "I'm debating between a rich charity gala or a movie premiere."

"Mm, the last one is awfully close."

"What are we seeing? Tell me, woman!" I say impatiently.

Tess laughs, and I wonder if I'll have the liberty to hear her laugh when I'm dead. "We're here." She turns right to the driveway of a magnificent building that I recognize immediately as the theater.

"Oh, a play!" I say, mustering some enthusiasm that's only ten percent forced.

"Not just a play. We're seeing a musical."

"Musical? Even better."

She stops the car and the valet opens her door, offering a hand to help her out. "Thank you, Sir," Tess says, smiling.

"Any time, Miss," the valet replies, not recognizing her. I don't blame him. Tess doesn't usually wear makeup in public—or anywhere for that matter. She has this dark, sparkly stuff on her eyelids, and she looks so beautiful I want to just kiss her right here.

I stick out my arm, and she wraps her hand around it. "Are you cold?" I ask.

"I'm fine, but thanks for asking."

"Can I ask you another question?"

"Yeah?"

"How do girls wear heels?"

She throws her head back and laughs, some of her hair spilling down her back with her every movement. "We just do it. It's an innate ability we have."

"Yeah, I bet," I tease.

We walk inside, and I try to remember the last time I've been to the Angeles Theater. I was about sixteen, and I went with all of my siblings to see a comedy play about a man who becomes invisible. It wasn't bad.

Now here I am three years later, with a girl I couldn't bear to live without. I wonder now: is there a trade-off system with people? There's a force/distance trade-off in physics; does a similar principle apply to people? I find Tess in my life, Michael leaves. Will it happen when I'm gone? Will Tess find another man to love?

I feel so selfish when I think that I don't want her to fall in love with someone else. I want her love to be reserved for me only. But at the same time I want her—and everyone else—to be happy without me. I want them to live their lives as usual. I know it will be hard for Mother. She already lost her oldest son and her father. How will she feel when her second son dies?

Tess gives our tickets to the lady scanning them. "Thank you very much! An escort will bring you to your box seats."

A man leads us to our seats and I ask Tess, "Is this whole thing for just us?"

"Yeah. Is it fine?"

"Oh, it's better than fine." I kiss her cheek to reassure her. "Thanks for planning this."

"Oh, no problem. I wanted to see a musical anyway."

"You did it again," I say, smiling.

"Did what?" she asks apprehensively.

"You ended up doing something good for someone else when you meant to do something for yourself."

She raises her eyebrow and smirks. "I don't see how that's a good quality, but I'll take it as a compliment. Thanks, Matt."

I grin. "No problem."

We watch the musical, laugh at the funny parts, but I get lost in my petty thoughts when the main character is wondering whether or not she should tell her family she got fired for sleeping with her boss. Is this the last time I'll get to see a play?

If it is, I'm glad I get to spend it with Tess. "Matthew, I have to tell you something," she whispers when the main character finds out she's pregnant (plot twist!) and the intermission begins.

"What is it? Are you pregnant too?" I'm joking, but a bad feeling gnaws at me.

"Alexandra's pregnant with Alex's child."

_What?_

"You're telling me my younger sister is pregnant?" I whisper fiercely. "You're telling me that that bastard I started to actually like slept with my sister and got her pregnant?!"

"Shh, keep it down, will you?" she says, looking over to the people on either side of us. "And to be honest, Alex isn't the bastard."

"That's not funny!"

"I didn't mean it to be funny!"

I run a hand through my hair. "How long?"

"I'm guessing the night she got engaged."

"That was like a month ago! Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Because I knew you'd want to kill Alex! I thought that if I took you somewhere then I could tell you. You wouldn't explode in the palace."

"And have me explode somewhere?" Rage and fury has replaced my blood. I'm fuming.

"Matthew, deep breaths. Keep calm."

I do it for her, so this won't be the last night I'm alive. "Okay," I say after a while. "Okay."

"The wedding's been pushed forward to the end of this month so we can pass the baby off as premature. Hopefully, Henry won't know it's a child born out of wedlock either."

"Fine, okay. Let's just keep watching."

The play ends about an hour later. The main character's lover got a standing ovation, and Tess gasps. "He's the man from the Caste Placement Test." She beams with pride and stands for him as well.

When everyone is on the stage, the director walks to the stage. "Thank you everybody for being here," he says with a British accent. "A special thank you to Illéa's very own prince and princess, Prince Matthew Schreave and Princess Teresa de'Medici." He points at us and the claps turn to our direction. The camera flashes start raining in the theater. Tess and I smile to the cameras and the curtain drops.

On our way back to the car, people ask for pictures. This could be the last time the citizens see their crown prince. So I pose with adults, children, teenagers, people my age, everyone. I just want them to know that I care about them, even if I was never their king.

* * *

**I'm sorry I had to make this chapter a tad bit depressing. There was too much fluff going on, so I decided to ruin your days. Sorry? **

**I got a line from _TFiOS _and I'm sure you'll recognize it. **

**Question of the day: How many of you were mad when Germany won against Brazil?**

**Oh, and to those who were wondering, soundloud is a website/app where you can record music and upload it for the world to hear. **

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**HikariTheNormaller- EEEK I TOTALLY DID NOT MEAN IT THAT WAY ABOUT YOUR DREAMS! GAH I'm obviously not the most eloquent :P Dammit. Ugh *smacks self with book*. Yeah, I've heard my fanfic isn't the most usual. And your mom :) That is the sweetest story. Thank you so much for sharing that with me! Miracles definitely happen with God ;) Thank you so much! P.S. I'm AcademicGirl but I'm not that acade...wait, yes, I am...**

**LittleMissTori- If you sue me, I could still write this story in prison, yeah? I'll just ask the cops to lend me a computer :P And I wish I had a good guy in my life too :) *sniff sniff* Thanks so much!**

**KhrystineR- Wow all your brothers-in-law are chefs? Yummy :) And twenty-five? Don't be ashamed! I'd be more worried if you were ten and reading my story. I have to admit this story isn't for kids. Rated T for a reason! Thank you so much! (P.S. I'm not a stalker, but I looked at your twitter and I'm curious...where are you from?)**

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**Kiren- Ugh, gay guys are more confusing than regular guys. JK! Thanks so much for the ideas! **

**fantasybookgirl- Aw, send my regards to your friend! Mmmmm ICE CREAM! I NEED SOME! Summer is so hot :P Thank you so much!**

**kayselection- Ooh that's a good idea! Elise could find the cure! Huh I'll consider that most definitely! Thanks so much!**

**dakotamo- That sounds like a good idea! Thanks!**

**salmabookworm- I'm surprised you actually know what soundcloud is! Cool! I have one, by the way :) Thank you!**

**WinteryRose- Yeah, don't you worry, child :) Thanks!**

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**LovableL101- I won't _let _him die. There is no way I'll just _let _him die. If he dies, he dies, but I didn't _let _him. :P Thank you so much!**

**Property of Illea- Mobaber? Hehe autocorrect? Mm I really want ice cream now. That's a very good idea of Elise. And wow! 17 chapters? Sheesh. I love how dedicated you are :D Thank you soooo much!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	19. Chapter 18

_Tess's POV_

_The air is cool and brisk against my legs. I can feel it seeping through my black tights and my black cardigan. The day would have been so much warmer with him here. I miss his smile. I'd like to think, though, that he's here, watching me attend his funeral. _

_Multicolored leaves litter the ebony coffin. I want to brush them off, because I'm obsessive compulsive like that, but at the same time it's pretty. They remind me of burning embers flying in a black sky. The white lilies on the coffin look too bright for the somber affair. We say our words, and I cry when I say mine. Not enough words can encompass the time I had with him, the love I felt for him. _

_The people file out slowly, like water dripping from a spout. They take pictures, and they try to sympathize with me, giving me comforting words about how they knew how much we loved each other. But they don't really know. No one does, but he and I do. And now I can share those lovely memories with only myself._

_Mom is crying. Her red hair is down and curled. He always liked long hair. That's why my hair is down too. _

_When the gardens are empty, I walk over to his coffin. I wish I could see his happy, joking blue eyes again. I wish he would smirk at me and call me "Love". But such wishes cannot be granted. His black suit looks impeccable on him, even when he's dead. My vision gets blurry, and he looks like a watercolor painting. I touch his face, and a tear drops from my cheek to his. _

_"Why are you dead?" I cry. "Why aren't you here with me?" _

_But he doesn't answer. Of course he can't. Matthew is dead. And he's not coming back. _

I shoot up out of bed, breathing fast like I ran twenty miles. No, no, make it stop.

"Love?" Matt says groggily. He puts a hand on my shoulder and sits up with me. "Are you okay?"

I turn to Matthew, so relieved I can still see his blue eyes, distressed yet living. "You're alive, you're okay," I say, obviously feeling grateful that my dream is simply that. I touch his face to make sure he's real. "You're here."

"Yeah, of course I'm here," he says, pulling back. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am now." He gives me a comforting hug, and I'm just so, so very happy right now.

"Tess, did you have a dream where I was dead?" he asks, smoothing down my hair.

"It doesn't matter," I whisper weakly. "As long as you're alive, it doesn't matter." Until now, I realize I'm crying. I hastily wipe away the tear and muster a smile. "I'm sorry for waking you up. We should probably sleep again."

He kisses my forehead and lies down with me. He holds me to his chest, as if he's worried that I'm going to fall apart. Soon, I can hear his quiet breathing, and I know he is asleep. I can't sleep, though.

People say Life without a certain person is unimaginable. That may be true for them unless they have vivid visions that run wild like carefree children. I can certainly imagine Life without Matthew. It's bleak and miserable. There will be no joking in the empty halls of the palace. I may never see America and Maxon smile again. I want Matthew to live. I want to have a long, happy life with him. I want an infinite future. I want so many things, but Life cannot supply me with all of my desires.

I'd rather die than live without Matthew Schreave. It's an awful and cliche thought, but it's so very true. If not that, I'd want to die with him. But I'm too selfish by saying "I _would _want to die" instead of "I _do_ want to die." I don't. I don't want Life to escape me. Death is so unfathomable, as is Life. We humans try so hard to make sense out of the indecipherable. Some have succeeded, like famous scientists who discover the physics of the world. Yet here we are, still with no idea how to exist.

But existing is not the same as living.

I guess the goal in life is to live it to the fullest. I don't even think doing daunting things you'd never dare to do is a part of that. Those are just repercussions, side effects, by products, whatever they wish to be called.

Living life to the fullest for me means loving, living, feeling things. Use the talents we are given. Do the best we can to help others who cannot have the same privileges.

Before I realize it, the sun is coming up. The sky outside is a peachy orange, and the sun looks like it wants to swallow the world. I place my head on Matt's chest, just to make sure he's breathing and his heart is still beating. It is. His heartbeat matches the ticking of the clock for a while, but both eventually lose their synchronicity.

I fall asleep with a heartbeat in one ear, and a ticking clock in the other. One beat measures time, the other is running out of it.

I fall asleep again.

* * *

_Tess's POV_

I wake up at about eleven o'clock. I'm cold and curled up on my side, and I know Matt isn't in bed anymore. I get dressed with the dream in my mind. I just feel so empty right now. The feeling inside is indescribable. I don't know if I should be sad or angry or both.

I wear a dress today because I feel like it. Mom usually lets me shorts and a nice top. She wears jeans and a blouse on Saturdays. But maybe it's the dream that makes me want to wear a dress. Who knows how many more times Matthew will get to see me in a dress.

It's a light blue that reminds me of Matthew's eyes. I pair it with my leather boots, hiding my anklet.

Eating lunch is a happy change. Alex and Alexa are down here, but Matt and Jerome aren't. Riley whispers behind her hand, "Jerome took Matthew away before Matthew beat Alex up or something."

"Ah," I reply, shoveling some mashed potatoes on my plate. "That makes sense. I told him during the play last night and he was furious."

"I bet! Props to you for bringing him somewhere public." She laughs and makes her voice low, impersonating a man. "Hey, Prince Matthew, why are you screaming at your fiancee?"

I giggle but I'm cut off by a glare from the other side of the table. "I know you're talking about me," Alexa says cuttingly.

"For your information, _Alexandra_, Tess and I were talking about that movie we saw the other night," Riley retorts, lying just as effortless as her brother.

Alexa looks at me pointedly and I sigh. "Please don't bring me into this."

"Were you watching a movie, Tess?" Alexa pushes.

I sigh. "Yes, we were. It was a comedy where the invisible man pokes people who don't know anything."

"Fine." Alexandra stands up decidedly and puts a hand on her belly. "I—_we _are going upstairs."

Alexa stomps out of the room and Alex sighs, muttering something in French about following her.

"Well, King Maxon, how are you?" I ask.

"Same old, same old," he replies with a small smile. "How was the play last night?"

"Matthew looked a bit distracted, but it was alright. I broke the news to him about Alexandra and he blew up like Vesuvius."

Maxon chuckles. "He was always quite...irascible." He gives a surreptitious sidelong glance to his wife, and America smacks him on the shoulder.

"Shut up, Maxon." We all laugh, happy that the tension is diffused. For now.

Riley turns to me all of a sudden. "Is there really a movie about an invisible man?"

I shrug. "Maybe?"

"Tess," America says. "You and Matthew have a press conference today."

"What time?"

"In thirty minutes."

I wipe my mouth quickly and excuse myself to find Matthew. It can't be that hard to find one prince in a giant palace, yeah?

I check the music room first, then the library, then Our Tower, then finally Jerome's room. I can hear shouting from the inside.

"What the fuck?!" Matt yells. "Who the fuck has fucking sex before getting fucking married?!"

Jerome says something back, but it's muffled through the wooden door.

"I don't fucking care that they're getting married anyway! When is the wedding, huh? People are going to find out, Jer. I should have looked out for her. God, I'm so stupid. I should have told her or something."

I knock on the door and Jerome opens it. He grins. "Hey, princess. Your boy here is having a meltdown." He steps aside to let me in the room, and it is a mess. Pillows are everywhere, the drawers are all out...

"Is that a hole in the wall?" I ask, pointing to the black void with the white walls surrounding it.

"Never mind the hole," Jerome says, waving it away. Matthew screams into a pillow and throws it at me. It takes a while for it to register in my mind, but I catch it.

"Easy there, big boy," I say, tossing the pillow back on the bed.

"Sorry, love, didn't mean to chuck it at you." Matt walks to me and gives me a hug to make up for it.

"Eh, I know how angry you can get." I'm implying about the night we broke up, but he doesn't quite catch on.

"I just feel like I should have done something," he says. "I mean, how could I just let that asshole sleep with her?"

"Come on, Matt, you know it's not your fault," I say.

"Yeah," Jerome supports. "You couldn't just pop in and offer a condom or a birth pill."

Matt and I frown and turn to Jerome. He holds his hands up. "What? I know how the world works!"

I just groan. "Matthew, just forget about it."

"Oh, yeah, I'll try and 'forget' about it when my sister looks like a fucking balloon."

"Matty, no more curse words please."

"Thank you, Tess," Jer says. "He has been saying the F word for a straight ten minutes."

"Okay, bigger matters at hand," I say, turning to Matt. "We have a press conference in approximately twenty minutes."

"I'll get ready with a suit and answers." Matthew takes my hand and twirls me around. "I love this dress on you." He smacks my butt, and I punch his arm.

"You're so vulgar."

"Don't punch a dying man," he says, rubbing his arm. I don't find the humor in it, though. He kisses the side of my head apologetically and leaves me with Jerome.

I sigh. "Jer, I don't know what to do with him."

"I know. It's quite frustrating how he always makes fun of his defect."

"It's like his life is a joke!" I cry.

"Yeah, he's like that, though. Whenever he's hurting, he passes it off as a big, fat joke and he's the punchline."

"Life's not funny enough for that," I answer.

* * *

**May I please answer reviews tomorrow? My dad is going to be pissed again because I always stay up until midnight to write. Sigh. Thank you for all of your reviews, though! I love you guys so much! **

**Question of the day: Twilight or Vampire Diaries?**

**Answer to previous QOTD: My uncle's German, so I was rooting for Germany. So happy they won! What do you guys think?**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	20. Chapter 19

_America's POV_

I assume the press conference is going swimmingly, as I haven't heard any complaints yet. My schedule is a tiny bit neater, but still harrying. I've tried getting Alexandra to arrange the wedding, but she's been unwilling and too stubborn. I don't want to get her angry; angry pregnant women are hard to bargain with.

"America," Maxon says, coming in through the door adjoining his and my office.

Before he says anything else, a knock comes at my door that doesn't wait for an answer. Alexandra walks in my office, and I'm surprised Alex isn't with her. He's been at her side since the news of the pregnancy.

"Hi," Alexa says softly, and for the first time in weeks, I can see that she's genuinely exhausted.

Maxon and I look at each other, and he says, "Sweetheart, come here."

She runs to her father's arms and cries. "Dad, Mom, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen."

I take her hand and stand to embrace her too. "Mom, I'm so scared," she whimpers, and I feel so hurt inside seeing my daughter crying. My oldest son is gone, my second son is bound to end up like my father, my daughter is pregnant. I feel like I've been neglecting familial issues for so long, focusing more on getting rid of the castes. We've accomplished that, and I've been thinking _Now what?_

I feel so horrible.

"I hope you two can forgive me," she says, her face still buried in Maxon's chest. "I want you to know that this wasn't all Alex. I wouldn't have let him if I didn't want it too."

"Alexandra," I say. "Why didn't you use protection or something?"

"We were caught up in the moment, and we forgot about it." Alexa pulls back and sniffles, wiping the tears on her face. "I'd like to arrange the wedding to be soon, if that's fine."

"Of course," Maxon says. "Go to Silvia and get Alexander. You guys can plan it together."

"I was hoping that maybe we should do it next week so it wouldn't look too obvious yet."

Next week? That's a little soon. But I feel like I owe this to her. I feel like she's old enough to make her own decisions. "That would be fine, dear," I say. She smiles, looking a bit better, and goes to meet with Silvia and Alex.

I sigh, and Maxon wraps his arms around me. "Maxon," I say simply. I'm not in the mood for an intelligible conversation.

"Yes, darling?"

I just sigh again and he kisses the top of my head. "It's funny how close we were to being the same situation as Alexandra and Alexander."

I frown. "What do you mean?"

"Do you remember the night before I proposed?" He kisses my temple this time.

"Mm, yes, I remember like it was yesterday."

The night before he proposed to me is always so vivid in my head. We wanted all of each other, and we were so caught up in this new feeling we've discovered. But we had to stop ourselves soon, or his father would catch us and there'd be hell to pay.

"Can we really blame them for being in love?"

It's a rhetorical question, but I answer it anyway. "I guess not." I pull back to look at him. "Max."

"Yes?"

"We're going to be grandparents."

His eyes widen. "I...don't know if I should be happy or not."

"When they get married, then we can be happy," I say and he smiles.

"Do you want to take a break for a moment?" he asks. "We could go to the roof, if you want."

I smile. "Yes, that would be nice."

Maxon pulls me along, a new carefree, childlike smile on his face, one I haven't seen in months. The guards are startled to see the king and queen running down the halls like smitten teenagers, but I do need a break.

How perfect. It's raining.

Maxon yanks me out into the pouring rain, and we're soaked within seconds. "Maxon!" I squeal.

"Dance with me!" he says.

I'm still not that good, but I've made quite an improvement since I've been princess. He sets his hand low on my waist, his other one lacing my fingers with his. "We'll go slow," he says, saying those exact words he said so long ago.

He spins me around, even dipping me low. His strong hands support my back as I'm bent close to the ground. Water pours off his hair to my face and I can't help laughing. Maxon kisses me softly and pulls me back up.

We dance in the rain, because that's what we, as king and queen, do.

* * *

_Matthew's POV_

"The press conference wasn't too bad," I say to Tess.

She nods. "Until it started raining." Then she laughs. "I don't know if this is mean, but I thought it was hilarious when literally every guard ran to us to cover us with umbrellas."

I chuckle. "It's like rain is poisonous or something."

"What are we doing tomorrow?"

"A photo shoot, I believe."

"So we just have to look pretty?"

"Yeah."

"Awesome."

* * *

_Matthew's POV_

The next day comes by in a blur of clothes and lights. The day after that is an interview day. I'm expecting it to be mundane and boring, but it's not. I'm guessing the interview is to increase our popularity. I feel more like an actor than a royal.

"So, Prince Matthew, do you have any secret talents?" the perky interviewer lady named Hannah asks. I think we've been here for about forty-five minutes. The entire footage would probably be divided into small clips that would no doubt be distributed to other magazines and news companies.

I chuckle. "Secret talents? I have talents, but they're not secret."

"Princess Tess, does he have any secret talents?"

Tess shrugs, an amused smirk on her face. "None that I know of."

"Okay, fine," I say. "I think my sister can do this too, but I can find any word's anagram."

"An anagram?" Hannah asks. "What's that?"

"An anagram is a word, phrase, or name that can be turned into another by rearranging its letters."

"Really? Can you find an anagram for anything?"

"Yeah, um, an anagram for _parliament _is _partial men._"

Hannah and Tess laugh at the irony. "An anagram for _Teresa Renaldi _is _Dearer Saltine._"

They laugh again, but Tess playfully smacks my arm. "How dare you compare me to a cracker?"

"You're dearer than the others," I say.

"Okay, to a more serious topic," Hannah says. "Gossip got around when you were in France, Prince Matthew, that you and the princess separated. Is this true?"

I look at Tess. I feel like she should explain. I won't be able to tell this story without lying a bit. "Well, we took a break for maybe a few weeks, because it was only a few weeks after Prince Michael's death."

"Yes, that was a tragedy. How did you deal with that?"

"It's always hard when you lose someone close to you," I say solemnly. Tess takes my hand and she squeezes it softly.

"Well, I'm glad you two resolved things," Hannah says, changing the subject. "When will the wedding be?"

"Did we set up a definite date already?" I ask Tess.

She rolls her eyes. "Men these days." Hannah laughs. "I think we set it for the twenty-fifth of September."

"Ah, that's right," I say.

"We're looking forward to the wedding of the century," Hannah says. "Thank you so much, Your Majesties. It was a pleasure."

Tess and I smile at the camera until we hear, "And we're off."

* * *

**Kind of a filler chapter. So yeah.**

**Question of the Day: So, this is a weird one, but in the event that Matt and Tess end up "doing it" do you want the narration to stop before it happens, or do you want it to be in the moment? I know some of you are more romantic softies than others. Just want your opinion!**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**bubble4life- That game between Germany and Brazil was intense :P I hate Twilight too, and I started watching Vampire Diaries and I'm sooo obsessed with it. I've heard of Once Upon a Time, but I haven't watched any of it. Thanks so much!**

**KhrystineR- Older brother instincts :P And I've always wanted to live in California. Thanks!**

**Kiren- Tomboys are cool! I used to be a total tomboy, but I started liking heels and dresses and boys. :) Maybe you'll be the same? :P Jk it's good to embrace who you are but don't be afraid of change. Haha I'm Team Stop Moping Bella. I was for Germany cuz my uncle's German but otherwise I don't really care. Thank you so much!**

**LittleMissTori- You're talking with him again? That's awesome! And if I could Matthew real, we'd be dating by now :P I'm glad you're still liking my story! Thanks so much!**

**agb1700- I'm so glad you thought both chapters were AMAZINGER! Thanks so much! Lurve ya!**

**fantasybookgirl- I love musicals too! Thanks!**

**LovableL101- Aww your reviews were so sweet! I think that was the most philosophical chapter I've ever written too. :P Thank you so much! **

**Athenachild101- My uncle's German so I was happy they won :) Thanks so much!**

**salmabookworm- Aw don't hate me! I love Ian Somerhalder too :P Thanks so much!**

**winterprincess- Lol your brother. :) I love TVD! Thank you!**

**PokemonLuver151- I'll try to put in an Alexa POV if I haven't already :) Thanks!**

**theoneforever- Aww thank you so much!**

**Property of Illea- I feel the same way about the Brazil/Germany game! It's like they weren't even trying :P Matt :) Thanks so much!**

**SJWrites2014- Haha can you like give all of my chapters a title :P Jk. Thank you!**

**HikariTheNormaller- Haha I see what you did there. Hehehe(kariTheNormaller). Oh middle school plays. Awk :P There may be a baby-naming contest. Possibly. I miss lucid dreaming. I used to be able to do that, but then I got too lazy in my sleep. Whoops? Haha thank you so much!**

**lilythemermaid- GURRRL I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! I totally thought you forgot about me. Idk if I've said that already. Mm I love tea. I have a passion for tea. Haha getting drunk on tea :P That's hilarious. And awwww bae you're soooo nice and sweet and ily. Thank you so much! LALOL.**

**BellatrixHazelRose- I take it you like it? Thank you!**

**prnamber3909- Woo! Thanks! **

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Aw thank you! I have wifi issues too :P And you're a great writer as well! I read your story A New Selection(?). If I remember correctly that's what it's called :) Thank you so much!**

**WinteryRose- Ohhh my goodness I know what you mean about Allegiant. Sigh. Thanks!**

**NalissaPatali- I'm glad you care about my characters enough to be sad :) Thank you!**

**ilona18- I only watch TVD, not read :P Not enough tiiiime :P Thanks!**

**Magicalnerd123- I think that was the deepest chapter I've ever written :P Thank you!**

**dakotamo- Hahahahaha this made me laugh :D Thank you so much!**

**Guest- Haha so true :) Thanks for reviewing!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	21. Chapter 20

_Alexandra's POV_

Being pregnant on your birthday sucks. My least favorite thing used to be disorganization and incorrectly spelled words. _Being pregnant _shouldn't be on the list of an eighteen-year-old girl. I actually think Mother was pregnant with Michael at this age, but I still hold it against myself that I did it before marriage.

It was a drunken night. Alex and I never would have done it had we not been under the influence of alcohol. We had too many champagnes the night he proposed, one thing led to another, and here I am, feeling like a whale.

Mother has been really helpful after I said sorry. Silvia has been getting me books on how to manage a child while being a princess. And Alex? He's been at my side always. I'm in love with him, and I'm glad that I do. I know he feels the same way.

My dress is nothing short of convenient and spectacular. It's an empire waist gown that's a champagne color. My feet have been getting broader and my ankles more swollen, so I settle for sandals that are hidden beneath my dress. I wear it with my tiara, one that has a twin pair that belongs to Riley. Hers has a beautiful pearl in the center while mine has an alexandrite gem—our birthstones.

I thank my maids and Alex knocks at my door. "Happy birthday, _ma chérie._" He takes my hand and kisses it.

"Hello to you too," I say as he leads me to the Great Room.

"You are now eighteen!" he says, as if my age is something to be proud of. Age is but a number. Numbers don't quite matter to me.

"Yes, which means this is the eighteenth birthday I've had."

I can hear the smile in his voice when he says, "I got you something."

Right outside the room, he pulls out a beautiful necklace from his pocket. "This was my mother's," Alex says. "It's been passed down to the next queen of France for generations."

"Alex, it's lovely." He doesn't hesitate to put it around my neck. "But what about Madeleine, your sister?"

"She's not the next queen of France, nor my future wife." He smiles and kisses my forehead before we walk inside.

Everyone's already in festive moods, and many are puddled around Rilane. Of course. She's the more popular twin. She's the one that uses cool lingo and doesn't spend her nose in books. She's not the one stupid enough to get drunk and pregnant.

Men and women from around the world greet me happy birthday, and as I thank them, I feel mixed emotions inside of me. I've always felt very conflicted about my twin sister. She has our mother's magnificent blue eyes, whereas I just have simple brown. Riley's wearing a pretty dress the color of saffron. Not everyone would look appealing in such a bright, outlandish color, but Rilane makes everything look good. She could wear a gunnysack and look beautiful.

I admire her, but I'm not jealous. I still got her a present after all. I know she disapproves of my pregnancy, and we haven't been as close as before (but then again we were in the womb at the same time; you can't get much closer than that).

"Alexa! Happy birthday!" I turn to the voices and and it's Xander with Maria.

"Thank you," I say demurely.

"Big sis, I have a present for you," Xander says. He pulls out a picture frame, and the photograph is amazing—or rather, photographs. It's a collage of me with everyone I love, from my parents, all my siblings, Alexander, even Maria and Tess. A bigger picture warms my heart when it's just a picture of me with Xander.

"Thank you so much," I say, tears threatening to spill. I give him a hug and Maria turns to me.

"I know it's not much, again, but I made a bracelet for you," she says. She pulls out a woven bracelet, and her skills truly are impressive. The colors of the strings are white, yellow, and green.

I give my (probably) future sister-in-law a hug. "Thanks so much," I say. "Love you guys so much."

"Love you too," they both say, and they leave Alex and me alone.

"I think we should greet your sister," he says, and I nod.

I walk to Riley, feeling fidgety because I haven't spoken reasonably with her in a while. "Happy birthday, Rilane," I say.

She's absolutely glowing, like our previous fights never happened. "Happy birthday to you too, Alexandra!" She gives me a hug, and it feels so good to have my twin sister again. People say their spouses or significant other is their other half, but Riley is my true other half.

"I, um, got you something," I say, giving her the small box encapsulated by my sweaty hand. "I know you have dozens of jewelry but..."

Riley opens the box, and I swear, tears fill her eyes. It's a locket, and inside are two pictures—on the left frame is a picture of us when we were toddlers, and the other is of us a few months ago.

"Alexa, it's lovely," she says, giving me another hug. "The funny thing is..." Riley pulls out a box from a conveniently concealed pocket of her dress. She gives it to me, and I laugh when I see that it too is a locket. I open it up and the pictures are of us as identical witches for Halloween, and the other is her dressed up as a cheerleader and me as a scientist for last year's Halloween.

I laugh at how similar we think, yet we are so different. "I'm sorry about giving you a hard time," she says. "I just...didn't think it would happen to you, of all people."

"Yeah, me neither," I say.

"Princess Alexandra," says a stern voice. I turn around and there's King Henry, flown all the way from France. There are dark circles under his eyes, and his fingers are twitching. He doesn't seem entirely focused. Is it because of his illness?

Riley, the entire puddle of people surrounding us, and I curtsy to him. "King Henry," I say. He's going to be my father-in-law. It is the epitome of non compos mentis, literally meaning "not of sound mind". It's insanity.

"Happy birthday, Princess Alexandra," he says, kissing the back of my mind. "It is so wonderful to finally meet you." He sees the ring on my left hand, the hand he's still holding. "I see Alexander has proposed," he says, obviously pleased.

"Yes, he has," I reply.

King Henry hums in response and grabs his son. "I need to talk to you," he says in French.

Alex just shrugs, reassuring me that everything's okay. "Rilane! Alexa!" says a buoyant voice. Tess gives each of us a hug, followed quickly by Matt.

"Happy birthday," Tess says breathlessly, as if she's been dancing and drinking a bit. "I have your presents, duh," she says, handing both of us two carefully wrapped gifts. I open mine, and I'm delighted when I see two books (one is an autobiography, the other is a historical fiction novel that's the third in the trilogy).

"Thank you so much," I say, giving her another hug. Riley gasps when she sees hers.

"The new Miraggiano clutch?!" she squeals. "It's not even out yet! How did you get this?"

Tess shrugs. "Constantino Miraggiano is an old family friend. He was more than happy to oblige when I requested that bag for you."

"You even got my favorite color!" (It's a soft light pink, a color I would never see in my closet.)

"I'm glad you like it," Tess says. "Come on, Matty, let's dance."

"Thanks again!" Riley and I say.

Riley opens her bag, and I open my book, because we both know how Matthew is. I get a bookmark that's made of thin gold, engraved with my name and a flower (a hibiscus, my favorite). Riley has dangling diamond earrings. I've always wondered what a birthday would be like if we weren't royalty. Would we get more genuine gifts like Maria's? I'm sure I would still get books, but probably ones that everyone sees in bookstores, not newly bound first editions (and when I saw first edition, it's literally the _first_).

Jerome gives Riley a kiss on her cheek. "Happy birthday, you two," he says, handing Rilane and me a hastily wrapped gift, the corner protruding like dog's ears.

I open mine, and I laugh, even though half of me is insulted and the other is easily amused. Jerome, always the joker. "Mothering for Dummies," I read aloud. "Thanks, Jer."

"Aw, baby, this is the best," Riley croons, giving Jerome a kiss. It's a card, hand-made, and inside is his clumsy, slanted scrawl. I'm betting it's a poem. Jerome is a jester, but he can be poetic when he wants to be. I think he publishes things under a pen name.

It makes me wonder where my love is. I rush to get out quickly, but my mother and father greet us first on a microphone. Riley and I get cheers and claps, and Mother and Father give us both our gifts before I can leave. They both give us keys. This makes me stay an extra minute. I bury my parents in hugs and kisses. "I love you, I love you, I love you so much," Riley and I say to them over and over. A new car is a big deal for the both of us.

"What color is it?" Riley asks. We laugh because it's an expected question coming from her.

"Riley, yours is a cherry red convertible, like you wanted," Mother says.

"And Alexa, you have a silver hybrid car," Father tells me.

I love how everyone knows us so well. We enshroud them in more hugs before I excuse myself to leave. I rush up to his room, and I have my hand poised and ready to knock until I hear King Henry's haughty voice. He's speaking in rapid, angry French.

"Did you do as I asked?" Henry says.

"Yes, Father, I have," Alex replies, quite tiredly too. "You saw her ring."

"Are you certain she is in love with you?"

"Yes, Father."

"And is she pregnant already?"

I hold back a gasp. What does he mean by _already_?

"Yes, Father."

"Very good, Son. You make your father proud. Now we can go on with the plan and kill Alexandra once the child is born."

_What?!_

I can hear anymore. I'm more than hurt, more than offended. My heart is disintegrating every millisecond I breathe. I can't believe I was part of a plot that isn't even clever nor elaborate.

And I fell for it.

I'm just a piece in their plan, a pawn in their game. I'm expendable to them, like spoiled milk that deserves to be thrown away. I don't even need to ask the entire scheme.

Henry just wanted me to be pregnant so he knows his line of succession is certain. The Pierre lineage is definite so far as his grandchild is born. I'm hoping now it's a girl. I want to spite that man. And now that I think about it, Alexander too. I can't believe I allowed myself to even think he loved me.

And I returned the feeling.

God, I am such an imbecile! I can't even think right now. I want to rip every hair on my head by the roots. My pregnancy isn't an accident. It's an essential stage in a stupid stratagem.

I can't stop thinking about this. I don't—can't—believe in love anymore. Men want power, and that is all. Love makes a fool of everyone, and my siblings have fallen into love's trapping clutches.

* * *

**Ooh, spiteful Alexandra. Yikes. **

**Question of the day: If you could have any birthday present, regardless of money and it is entirely limitless, what would it be? (Unicorn is a viable answer.)**

**Answer to previous QOTD: Thanks so much for your opinions! I know EXACTLY what I'm going to do, so don't you worry about it :) Besides, no one said Matthew was going to live long enough for that scene to happen anyway :P **

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**Kiren- Haha heels are fun...until you fall on your face :P What if Matt blacks out on the day of the wedding...Thanks for the idea! **

**Property of Illea- Oh, don't worry. It's going to be NOTHING compared to the actual rated M stories. I don't think I'll be able to live with myself if I write a super smutty chapter. Like, seeing myself in the mirror would probably disgust me, and using my brain to think up that kind of story instead of doing brilliant things would horrify me. If you want any ideas on how I was planning to write it, and maybe you'd like it too, there is a certain scene in Champion by Marie Lu and a certain scene in Graceling by Kristin Cashore. It didn't go in detail, but you knew the emotions and such. Thank you for the review!**

**LovableL101- Thank you for the opinion! And I love writing Maxerica :) If I could write a Maxerica and a "Messy" moment EVERY chapter, I would. Thank you so much!**

**PokemonLuver151- Thanks for your opinion! I appreciate it :) **

**selectionprincess59- Thank you!**

**Athenachild101- I wouldn't make it in detail, don't worry. I know what you mean about losing readers, but don't worry about it. I know exactly what I'm going to do. (I wouldn't be able to write that kind of super detailed "he did this to me" kind of thing; I don't think I'll be able to live with myself and think of myself the same way.) This will NEVER be M-rated. Promise. Genuine Girl Scout's honor, because I used to be a Girl Scout. Thank you!**

**olive . ivy . clo- First of all, AWWW! Thank you so much! There were so many compliments packed in that review, and thank you! Yeah, I know what you mean when they it's either "she closes the door" or "the rest was history" or something super cheesy and cliche, and I don't want my stories to be like that. When there's a cliche moment in any of my stories, I mention that it's a cliche moment, because it is, and there's no liking for cliches. But I digress. Thank you so so much!**

**LittleMissTori- Haha my story is your life? Nah, your life is probably much cooler than my stories :) But thank you. That's very nice of you to say. I want the world to be full of Matthews. Haha Maxerica moments equals #tbt. :P Thanks so much!**

**WinteryRose- Don't worry. The chapter will be...not "perfect" because I'm not perfect, but it will be good for everyone, I promise. No one will be scarred, no one will be offended, no one will feel like a pervert, this won't be a stereotypical fanfiction (cuz we all know why fanfics are notorious and hated sometimes). Thanks for your opinion!**

**SJWrites2014- Ugh, stupid, hungy computer gods :P That's why I only believe in one. Lol I sound so religious :P You really should title my chapters! They're perfect. Literally. Perfect. Thank you!**

**ilona18- Don't worry, I got it covered :) Thanks so much!**

**winterprincess- I don't think it's right for parents to have a favorite, but personally, I think it would make sense if Maxon and America each had a favorite because it was so clear America was her father's favorite, and Maxon was an only child (even though his father abused him). And rambling is fine :) Just not during a presentation or a public speech. I've had the opposite of rambling. It's awful. And I'm rambling. Thank you so much!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	22. Chapter 21

_Tess's POV_

_My long, white dress floats behind me as I walk down the aisle. I clutch my two fathers' arms, while one hand holds my bouquet. They give me away to Matthew, and I couldn't be happier. Matthew smiles and kisses the back of my hand. We're finally doing it. We're finally getting married._

_Suddenly, Matthew cries in pain and clutches his chest. The guests don't make any note of this; they keep watching as if the ceremony is just going on as usual. Matthew drops to the ground, yelling in agony. _

_"Matthew!" I cry. He's writhing in pain, and his face drains of any color. His blue eyes roll to the back of his head, and he lies limp and lifeless in my arms. _

I bolt upright, the abrupt motion making my head swirl. I clutch my head and pull my knees to my chest, burying my face. I can feel myself shivering, but I'm not even cold. I can't tell if I'm crying. I just feel so empty, like I'm missing a limb.

Matthew wordlessly places a hand on my shoulder and pulls me to his chest. He kisses my forehead, and I eventually calm down enough to assure him I'm alright.

"It's fine," he says. "I couldn't sleep anyway."

"What time is it?"

"Four in the morning," he replies.

"Matthew—"

"Too many things going on in my mind."

His finger brushes a patch of skin on my right arm, the spot just below my shoulder. "What is this?" he asks.

"It's a scar from a smallpox vaccination. I got it when I was a baby, probably before I was with my adopted family." It's a strange topic to talk about, so I ask, "Do you want to go outside?"

Matthew takes off the blankets and stands. He holds his hand for me to take, knowing that I clearly won't be able to go back to sleep again, and I take it. He leads me to the balcony, the air chilly during the summer night. Crickets chirp and buzz, singing while the rest of the orchestra is fast asleep.

"What were you thinking about?" I ask, leaning on the balcony railing.

He shrugs. "I don't know. Just things I could have done differently in my life. Sometimes I wish I could this better, or said something smarter. I know it's impractical to think on things that have already happened, but still."

"I know what you mean," I say, looking at the guards standing by the border of the gardens. Do they ever get tired? "I regret being drunk the night I kissed you."

He breathes a laugh. "If you weren't drunk, maybe we would have never kissed at all."

"I still would have fallen in love," I say a bit ruefully. "And if I didn't, I still would have cared about you to some degree."

"But if my brother eliminated you, you'd be home in Midston, with no knowledge that you're a princess."

I look at my hands. "I'd be in college, working to get a medical degree."

"Even with the caste system gone?"

"Even then."

A silence hangs in the air between us, even though the cicadas and crickets continue to hum. "What if we just met on the street?" he asks. "What if we were just two regular people who happened to stumble upon each other?"

"I don't know," I say. "I'd probably think you're a handsome guy who has a million brokenhearted girls behind him." I see him smirk out of the corner of my eye. "I'd say your smirk is just troublesome and that you'd leave me brokenhearted too. I'd walk past you and remember you as just the person I bumped into." I glance at him, only to look at the stone bench in the gardens again. "What do you think?"

"I'd be awfully sorry that I delayed your arrival to some place in need of your presence. But then I would look at you and see how beautiful you are, and I wouldn't be sorry at all."

It coaxes a smile out of me. "How do you think our first kiss would be?"

Matthew doesn't respond. Instead he places a finger on my chin and turns my face to his. I blink. "You know you can't change history."

He smiles. "Yeah, I know."

He places his lips on mine, soft but sure. It's not passionate and burning, but I can tell how much he really loves me. My heart flutters, and I feel like a middle-school girl with a major crush on the popular boy. "Probably something like that," he whispers.

We stay out on the balcony until it's four thirty-nine. Matt takes me back inside, and he falls asleep, but sleep seems so impossible to me. So I leave his side and wander the palace.

* * *

_Tess's POV_

"Tess, we have an issue," Maxon says, leaning back in his chair.

"I'm sort of regretting greeting you good morning," I say, sinking down to a chair.

The king smiles. "It's not a major issue, and I'm sure we'll resolve it." He hands me an envelope that's already been opened.

"What is this?" I ask, taking it.

"It's a letter from a girl claiming to be the true Missing Princess of Italy."

I frown. "Excuse me?"

"Just read the letter."

The neat, cursive handwriting is thick and hastily written, as if she needs to be at the palace _immediately. _The words are in Italian, but it's no struggle for me to decipher it.

_Dear King Maxon and Queen America,_

_Months have gone by since the knowledge of the location of the "Missing Princess of Italy" was exposed. The problem is, _I _am the true princess. I have the birthmark and the etiquette to prove it. Unlike the impostor at your palace that is engaged to your crown prince, I am a true Italian. I was born and raised in Italy, and I know exactly how foreign policy works. I assume she knows nothing of the Italian monarchy, and the only thing this Teresa knows how to do is look pretty and fund things such as charity galas. What has she ever done for the actual country? She is only thinking of herself. The Teresa Renaldi Cancer Foundation? I would not have named it after myself, as I see that as the opposite of humble. _

_I would have claimed to be the true princess long ago, but when I finally had enough knowledge of my country's princess, I was kidnapped by the Italian Mafia. I am the true princess, otherwise they would not have taken me at all. I was in captivity for nine years. I was finally able to escape several days ago, and by the time you get this, I will be at my small, empty house, thinking how I should be at the palace. _

_I have arranged a flight to Illéa to explain more of this situation. I have also sent this letter to my birth parents, the king and queen of Italy. I am looking forward to seeing you._

_Sincerely, Teresa Francesca Renaldi de'Medici_

I nearly crumple the entire letter into a ball. "This is absurd!" I say, throwing the letter back on Maxon's desk. "Who in their right mind would do this?"

"Not to worry, Tess," he says calmly. "She will be arriving tomorrow at the palace. Nobody would think she's the princess. And besides, even if she is, we'd rather have you in our family than her."

I smile. "Really?"

"Really."

Then I think of a thing that would compromise my entire engagement to Matthew. "Maxon, didn't we sign a contract with the Italian monarchy saying that in addition to a better trade system the princess of Italy would marry the Matthew? I mean, if she turns out to be the actual princess, there goes my marriage with the man I love! She'd have my life, and everything I thought would be right would be even more wrong. Maxon! What are we going to do?"

I'm panicking and hyperventilating. I start to get light-headed. "Tess, listen to me closely," Maxon says. "You will do everything you can to present yourself as the true princess. You have the birthmarks, the proof that _you _are the real Teresa de'Medici. Understand?"

I take deeper, slower breaths. "Yes."

"Besides, she'll look nothing like you," he assures me. "What could go wrong?"

* * *

**No one likes that line, Maxon. Also, more on the Alex/Alexa situation next chapter. And oh! I got this chapter out before 1 a.m. That's an accomplishment! **

**Question of the Day: Do you have any scar(s)? (Mental or physical) **

**Answer to previous QOTD: I wish everything was free and we could just take what we want because humans are nice like that. Stupid, greedy society. I also wish I could teleport to places. Traveling takes too much time. Time, time, time. I want more time. Lol, I feel like America. **

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**LovableL101- Aww you cried again? I love traveling. I wish I could go everywhere and just get pictures and...I wish I could teleport. Like, really badly. And the education thing is something I would say. Thanks so much!**

**idk0- Well, if/when Matthew dies, Xander would be next in line with probably Maria by his side, if he doesn't have a Selection. Good question. Thank you!**

**ThisGirlActuallyReads- I KNOW RIGHT?! Jk it may not be what you think. But then again, it could be EXACTLY what you think. Thanks!**

**EileenAbbey- That sounds like the best thing ever. Ceaseless battery life and wifi everywhere. Literally, my phone was charging all night and I woke up and turned it on and it said 99 percent. I was literally like wtf. Anyways, I'm glad you can relate with my characters :) Thanks so much!**

**agb1700- Aww thank you! Lurve ya so much!**

**theoneforever- Hmm, what if it's not what you think? Thanks so much!**

**Kiren- It depends what your definition of sin is. And would it be sin gone, or the actual act of sinning? Idk I'm probably trying to make this a philosophical question when it's not. And what if? What if Alex loves Alexa? Hmm...Thanks so much!**

**KhrystineR- Hahaha I cuss WAY worse than that. So you're excused :) And your entire review was EXACTLY what I was thinking so now I have to change it and make Alex heartless :P Jk it's not what was going to happen. You missed the part where they find out Henry is actually a robot. Shit, spoiler alert! Juuuuust kidding. HAHAHA the entire UK. I just want the guys in the UK. When you own the country, can you, like, ship all of them to me? Thank you so much! P.S. Yeah, I'd totes be your best friend :P **

**SJWrites2014- Yes, it works. Most definitely :) Thanks so much!**

**PokemonLuver151- Mm books. I'm not really a video game person, but GTA is legit my faves. What do you play? Thank you!**

**magicalnerd123- Ooh, that's a good one. I would love to meet John Green. He is a literary Einstein, smart yet slightly insane. :P The Alex's. That's funny. Thanks so much!**

**dakotamo- HAHA lol Alexa is screwed...Dude, she's knocked up :P And Tess and Matt are like in a video game. They had two lives to start with and they just lost one. So yeah, they're screwed :P SPOILER: EVERYONE DIES. I'll definitely do an Alexa POV in the future, but I don't think there will be an Alex POV. I just feel like there are too much POV's then it's going to be confusing. I hope you understand :) Thanks you so much!**

**fantasybookgirl- Mad pregnant women are like bulls and everyone is the immobile, flying, red cape. :P I have no experience with MPW (mad pregnant women) so yeah. :) Thanks so much!**

**Athenachild101- HAHAHA funniest story. You were 4, though. That doesn't count :P I mean, I'm not even American but they let me be a GS. Yay me! Thank you!**

**Abby2014- New reviewer! I think...Oh well. Ass-kicking scenes are fun to write :) Thanks so much!**

**LittleMissTori- Your life isn't boring. Evidence: Zach and Tyler. Haha thank you so much!**

**HikariTheNormall- Haha iPad is just failing everyone :P This review was hilarious to read (and a bit challenging without the A's, but I managed). Thank you so much!**

**winterprincess- "Alexa had better think this through before doing something stupid." Sounds like America. Lol thank you so much!**

**WinteryRose- Ooh, I'd save that gift for college. I want to go to Stanford University sooooo bad. But yeah. :) Thanks so much!**

**princessofillea22- Another new reviewer! Aww this review was the absolute sweetest ever! That is so nice of you! I'd definitely be writing and publishing if I actually had a good plot idea ;) A personal mall sounds the best. Thank you so much!**

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Aw that's so nice! Especially since I just complimented you :P Thank you so much!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	23. Chapter 22

**I would have updated sooner, but I just watched Ansel Elgort on Ustream so...Forgive me?**

* * *

_Alexandra's POV_

"Alexandra, please talk to me," Alex begs.

The wedding is next week. Is it too late to cancel it? No, no, that can't happen. The country will be suspicious when they find me pregnant and unmarried. Queen Abby did it. She killed Justin Illéa to marry his cousin, Porter Schreave. Should I just somehow kill Alex? Poison wouldn't be as suspicious. Maybe I could hire an assassin to do it.

"Alexandra," he says again, grabbing my wrist this time.

"Let go of me," I growl, daring to look in his pain-filled eyes.

"What did I do?"

"Don't talk to me," I say, walking away from him. "Get out of my room."

"Please," he begs, and I want to kill him. I am fuming. "Just tell me what I did wrong, and I'll get out of your way."

I clench my jaw. Should I tell him, or should I wait for the plot to deepen? Should I tell the man that I've fallen in love with, or should I wait for the perfect time to kill him since he's so willing to kill me? I am so filled with hatred right now, and beneath the clouded anger, my mind begs me to reason with him, because he promised to care for me and our child. _No. They were all lies. _

I turn around to him before I realize I'm crying. "Alexander, you stay away from me. Get out of this country, or else I'll fly you back to France myself. In a box with no holes. Get out of my room."

Alex takes my face between his hands. "Alexandra, _please_." He wipes a tear on my cheek with his thumb.

"I heard you talking to your father last night," I say. "I hope that's enough for you. Now get out." I walk past him, but he catches my forearm.

"About his savage plan?" Alex says, and I'm confused and furious at the same time.

"How dare you talk so calmly about this? Why didn't you tell me? Let go of me!"

He takes his hand of my arm, and he crosses his arms. "Alexander, I want the entire truth," I say.

Alex stares at the ground for a long while before he speaks. "You've heard his entire plan, I assume. If you want me to be completely honest, I was planning to go through with it."

I despise this man. Is there anybody I can still trust?

"However," he continues, "I didn't anticipate on meeting a beautiful, intelligent, charming princess. I was in France thinking you were a brainless ditz. I didn't...plan on falling in love with you."

I swallow, and more tears escape. I hate being hormonal. Anything and everything will either make me cry or want to punch something. "Please, Alexandra," he says, putting his hand on my cheek again. "Please believe me."

I glare at him. "What are you going to do now to foil your father's plan?"

"My cunning mother has already planned a staged assassin," he says, as if coups aren't out of the norm. "You and I are still to be wed next week, and I will say my vows and mean every word. I will love you forever, and take care of you and our child."

I frown, still trying to make sense of this. "When did you fall in love with me?" I ask. "After you slept with me or before?"

Alex blinks and sighs. "I was still doing my father's bidding around time."

"Alexander, you fooled me for weeks. I was in love with you, and you were just playing with my feelings. I can't even look at you." Yet I don't look away from his pathetic, pleading face.

"Please don't hate me," he says. "I know I've made a terrible mistake. I fell in love with you the morning after we slept together. You looked so radiant and happy and your feelings were infectious. I finally realized how happy I was, how my happiness was genuine after so long. I regret my every involvement in the plot my father concocted. But I will never regret that night, or any of the kisses I shared with you.

"I love you, Alexandra," he says. "I have never met a more beautiful, smarter woman. Please forgive me. I know how your mind works, and you're probably finding a way to kill me subtly. Please, if you could hold that out until after the marriage I'd be grateful."

"Why?"

"So I could die knowing that I had at least a minute to call you my wife."

I don't know what I want to do more, slap him or kiss him. "I need time to think about this, Alex," I say.

"Please, there's one more thing," Alex says. "Just remember that you're safe until the baby is born. If you decide to kill me before our child is born, just remember that your life will be at risk."

I turn around and walk out to my balcony. "I won't kill you."

The last sound I hear from him is a relieved and sated sigh and the close of a door.

* * *

_Matthew's POV_

"What kind of person would claim they're the princess," I say, "when you've been princess for at least half a year?"

"That's what I said!" Tess says, pacing the balcony. "She's going to be at the palace in, like, thirty minutes, and Matthew, what the hell is happening?"

"Tess," I say, grabbing her shoulders. "You're the princess."

"But what if I'm not? Then I'll lose a throne, my entire life, you—"

"Wait, why me?"

"Remember that contract we signed saying that you were supposed to marry the Italian princess?"

"I thought that was a joke!" I say, throwing up my hands. "We were all so positive that you're the princess."

"Matthew, you're not helping," she says, covering her face with her hands.

"Wait, so does she look like you?"

"I don't know."

"And do you think she's smart like you and do you think she's talented—"

"Matthew!"

"What? I'm just saying that if she's exactly like you, I might be willing to marry her."

Tess slaps my shoulder, but there's a faint smile gracing her lips. "You are such an—"

A knock cuts off her unsaid profanity. Mother opens the door and says, "She's here."

Tess looks at me one more distressed time. She looks as scared as she is every time she wakes up from a nightmare, except this is reality. I'm sure we can rip up that contract, yeah? We walk down together, and she clutches my hand as if she'll disintegrate into nothingness if she lets go.

In the foyer is a girl whose face is out of sight from us. She's observing a painting like it's a God-made artifact instead of a bunch of colors. What a poser.

I clear my throat to get her attention, and Tess's grip tightens on me. The girl turns around and the resemblance almost makes me fall down the stairs.

"Holy shit," I whisper.

"That's not possible," Tess mumbles.

I have to look at the girl beside me to make sure that there are actually two, and I'm not actually seeing double. The girl approaching us has long, black straight hair, like someone took Tess's hair and somehow flattened it like a pancake. The girl is a bit on the skinnier side, and not in an attractive. She might as well be a skeleton. But her facial features are uncanny. She has the same upturned, enigmatic, unusually-dark eyes as Tess. Their noses and their lips are the same, even the same arching, quasi-judgmental eyebrows.

The girl curtsies (even though she says _she's _royalty). She's wearing a pink skirt—something Tess would _never _wear—and four-inch heels—something Tess would _never _wear.

"Prince Matthew, it is an honor," she says in Italian, fluidly and rapidly.

"_Buon giorno_," I say, but Tess lets go off me and practically pounces on the girl.

"_Perché sei qui?_" Tess asks, speaking as fluently as the other girl.

"I came to explain myself, that I am the true missing princess of Italy."

Tess scoffs. "Excuse me? A pink skirt and skyscraper shoes won't make you a princess."

"Money won't make you a princess either."

I can literally see their perfectly-manicured nails ready to claw each other's eyes out. I step in between them. "Stop, please," I say.

Tess looks frustrated while the other girl is smiling like a rainbow. "Forgive me, your grace," she says, as sweet as sugar. I want to gag.

"What's your name?" I ask, and I make the mistake of sounding intrigued. Tess glowers, but the other girl smiles.

"I'm Teresa Francesca Renaldi de'Medici."

"Bullshit," Tess mutters.

"Slow down, Catwoman," I say in English.

She frowns at me and crosses her arms. "Who the hell is Catwoman?"

"How many languages do you speak, hmm?" the girl says, ignoring our tiny banter. "I speak Italian, English—"

"Then why don't we speak English?" Tess retorts.

"Okay, no problem." The other girl crosses her arms. "So as I said, I am Teresa Renaldi, but my captors have taken to calling me Francesca."

Tess shrugs flippantly. "Call whatever the hell you want to call yourself, but my identity remains mine. Got it?"

"Hold on," I finally say. The two girls look at me, and I almost laugh how identical their scowls are. "I get that one of you is princess, but what I still don't understand is how you two look like the same person. Even down to the birthmarks."

Tess turns to Francesca and stares her down. "The mark beside your brow? That's a freckle, not a mole."

Francesca gapes at her, trying to intimidate Tess with her glare. "But—"

"The mark on your left earlobe is made up. It's fake. I bet if you tried washing it, that eyeliner would come right off."

I'm not exactly sure how Tess picked that up so quickly (or what eyeliner is, for that matter). "You're just a lying impostor, trying to get to the throne," Tess accuses triumphantly.

Francesca is a loss for words. "Okay, I get that the mark on my ear is a fake, and that the birthmark isn't truly one. But how would you explain the way you and I look like duplicates?"

Tess answers calmly and coolly. "It's a statistic that six other people in the world happen to look like you. You're just one out of six that looks like me."

"Then why would the Italian Mafia come for me?" Francesca pleads, and I can tell she's groping for any other excuse.

"Maybe you should ask them instead of coming to the palace saying that you are me."

"Tess," I say, "she does have a point."

"Oh, so now you're siding with her?"

Damn, women have their moody moments sometimes. "I'm not siding with anybody," I say. "I just think we should get more evidence. It's not everyday you meet your doppelganger, you know."

"Then we should have a blood test, whatever it takes, and interrogate her further," Tess replies sharply.

"Okay, we'll have it your way," I say, turning to Francesca. "You might as well meet my mother and father. I'm sure they'll contact the king and queen of Italy right away."

"Of course, your grace."

The girls follow me, and I stand in between them just in case one randomly lunges at the other. I knock on my father's door.

"Come in," he calls. When I open the door and reveal Tess and Francesca, he drops all of his papers. "Oh, my."

* * *

**Shit's about to go down.**

**Question of the Day (stolen from KhrystineR): If my story became a TV show/movie, which actors would you want to play my characters?**

**Answer to previous QOTD: I have a lot on my knees and hands because I'm clumsy like that, and I like to pick my scabs. Weird? Yes.**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**WinteryRose- A medical degree of some sort to keep it running in the family. Plus, I like helping people. I was planning biomedical engineering as my course, but I'm not creative enough to be an engineer :P And your brother...ouch. Thanks!**

**lilythemermaid- Ouch that sounds...painful. And mental scars are abundant in my brain :P Glad you're still reading! Thanks so much! LALOL**

**Kiren- Yeah, that was a one time thing. It's ten o'clock though so I guess that counts? Yeah, I got cuts on my forearm once from climbing a tree and I told my friends I cut myself and they were super appalled and they were like "Are you okay?" I started laughing and said I was kidding. I know it's not funny, but that's how weird my humor is. They laughed. Thanks so much!**

**Theoneforever- #doppelganger lol Tatthew/Mess might not make it to their wedding day :/ Thank you!**

**Please-and-Thankyou's- Ouch, glass is sharp. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

**SJWrites2014- Yeah, that chapter was sort of a flight of ideas. Darn. Thanks so much!**

**Property of Illea- Haha yeah I PM'ed the irew chick and idk if she replied yet. Oh, well. Thanks so much!**

**Athenachild101- At first I totally believed the lightning scar thing and I was like that's a helluva coincidence! Thank you!**

**magicalnerd123- I love John Green. So much. PLOT TWIST TESS AND FRANCESCA ARE THE SAME PERSON :o Jk that's not even possible. Thanks!**

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- "What just happened?!" - me when every character I love dies T_T haha thank you so much!  
**

**agb1700- Hahaha you don't want The End to end? :P Thank you so much! Lurve ya!**

**Guest- Thanks for giving me the idea of a paternity test! I didn't even think about it until I saw your review! Thank you!**

**fantasybookgirl- Haha no running rules are BS until you actually learn from it :P Thanks so much!**

**KhrystineR- Hahaha reading your whole review made me feel like I was being yelled at :P Loved it, though. And that's a good question. I used it for my QOTD. Is that fine? I'll answer this question next chapter, but I most definitely have ideas :) The whole Anastasia thing always fascinated me. Thank you so much!**

**ThisGirlActuallyReads- Ooh ouch. I hate being burned, literally and figuratively. Thank so much!**

**LovableL101- I'm glad you loved the chapter :) Ow, I hate hitting my elbow. Like, it's the most unusual spot to hit but it's the most frequent one that gets hit. Ya know what I mean? Oh, well. Thanks so much!**

**prnamber3909- 0_0 That. Bitch. Jk. I'm sure that was a quote from somewhere but yeah. Oh, #meangirls with dat pink skirt. We only wear pink on Wednesdays :P Thank you!**

**PokemonLuver151- Hence your username :P I used to play Pokemon on the Wii but idk. I found books more intriguing :P Thanks so much!**

**dakotamo- HAHAHA whoa death threat right here! My uncle's a lawyer :P Girl, you gotta stop giving me ideas to kill my characters off. It just might happen ;) Thanks so much!**

**winterprincess- Your review left me speechless. I literally cannot comment one thing without revealing something. OMG Rated M stuff is the worst. I learned it the hard way too. The Selection rated M stuff is...*shudders* Thank you so much! P.S. Don't apologize for your language to ME. I cuss wayyy worse than that and everyone who reads my stories know that :P **

**ilona18- I still fall on my knees. Whoops? :) Thanks so much!**

**LittleMissTori- Duuude it was so coincidental how I was obsessing over Ansel Elgort. Have I obsessed over him before? Idk. I can't count my scars. Too. Many. :P Thanks so much!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl **


	24. Chapter 23

_Tess's POV_

I feel like a child, petulant and sulking with this girl next to me.

Francesca doesn't look much better when the two of us are forced to sit on the lounge next to each other in Maxon's office. There is three feet in between us, but she still feels like she's smothering me.

I'm shocked myself. She's like another me, what with the facial features (and I'll admit, maybe the personality). But her "captivity" with the "Italian Mafia" must have thinned her up a bit. She looks like a walking stick. I bet if I blow on her, she'll fall right over. She makes me feel fat. I hate her.

Maxon opens the door and says, "America, you might want to see this."

"Maxon, I'm a bit busy at the moment."

"No, you really have to see this."

Mom acquiesces and comes through the door, but her initial stubbornness disappears when she sees Francesca and me. Mom has to blink twice, even going as far as rubbing her eyes and squinting, until she finally turns to Maxon again.

"What's—"

I sigh. "This is the girl."

Francesca stands and curtsies. "Your Majesties, I am Teresa Francesca Renaldi de'Medici, the true Missing Princess of Italy." Her accent is thick, and I'm sure it's artificial.

I will sew her lips together myself if I must.

Matthew leans against Maxon's desk and shoots me a look, probably to refrain me from saying anything sarcastic. I roll my eyes at him and look away.

"But please call me Francesca," the girl says, still standing.

"It's nice to meet you, Francesca," Mom says, still remaining to be courteous despite my icy behavior. "Please, take a seat."

"Thank you, Your Majesty."

She sits down, making me squirm a bit and move until I'm against the armrest.

"Obviously, there are some...details needed to this situation," Mom says, dragging a chair to across from us.

"Then I will provide them," Francesca answers. "As the story goes, the Missing Princess was taken from the palace at two years old, which is what my orphanage's supervisor said."

"Then why didn't she take you to the palace?" I say, irritation seeping into my voice.

"The supervisor was cruel. She didn't want a starving girl to return to glamorous palace life."

_Bullshit. _I've never heard more lies in my life.

I scoff silently, the sound coming more of a breath rather than a ridicule.

"On my tenth birthday, I was taking a walk outside the orphanage—"

"You said your supervisor was cruel," I argue. "How come she let you outside?"

Francesca rolls her eyes this time, annoyed that she is interrupted a second time. "I escaped through a window. Haven't you seen any movies, Teresa?"

I go back to picking the invisible threads and lint on my dress.

"As I was saying, when I was ten, a man was saw me and took me. He put a bag over my head, and when I woke up, I found myself in a decrepit warehouse filled with computers and high-tech systems. The Italian Mafia is comprised of several men, but two were stationed with me. They, uh, had their ways with me."

Everyone's silent. In Illéa, it's illegal to lose your virginity before marriage. We're so used to this law, and we value it. This news is a shock to us.

"They showed me a picture several months ago," Francesca continues. "It looked vaguely like me. They told me that they had used a computer software. The ones where you take a baby picture and use it to see how you look some years in the future. They used a picture of the Missing Princess and found that it looked like me."

I want to interrupt that she could have looked exactly like me. I bet five other girls in the entire world look like me.

"One man—the kinder, gentler one—truly loved me, and he drove me to the airport. He gave me some money, and I was able to fly here. I found a family to stay with for a while, and I have to admit, I pretended to be you for them to let me stay willingly. They were nice enough, and I sent the letter and had someone drive me to the palace."

I'm still not buying any of this.

"When's your birthday?" I say, still concentrated on my dress.

"Twenty-fifth of April."

I raise an eyebrow. "How old did you say you were?"

"Nineteen."

I sit up from my slouch and look at her. "You're trying to say one thing, yet I see another possibilities. You think that you're the true princess, and what you've said about the princess matches up with my life. However, there can only be one of us."

"What are you saying?"

I hesitate. "This is absurd, this entire situation as is the probability, but...What if we were twins?"

The revelation stills the entire room to silence. "I know; we would have all known if either of us were taken at two years old," I say.

"How could our mother possibly hide that from the _entire _world?" Francesca argues.

"Well, do you have any other idea?" I say. "Because there can't possibly be two of us, and I think that you're just a doppelganger, a regular person that just happens to look like me. Look, I'm sorry about your history, but I just don't think you're the princess."

Francesca nods sullenly, and she start to cry. Oh, dear God. "I'm sorry," she whines. "I just thought that maybe there's a possibility for me to live a fortunate life."

I hate acknowledge the fact that I was welcomed to a warm, loving family when Francesca was taken to an orphanage, then kidnapped to nine miserable years.

A knock comes at the door, and Maxon opens it. "Your Majesty, there is a letter for the princess."

"Which one?" Francesca says, drying her her nonexistent tears.

"Me," I say, standing to receive the letter. I tear it open once it's in my hands, not bothering to check whom it's from. "'Dear Teresa,'" I read aloud. "'There is some information you must know. We have been alerted that another girl claims to be the princess. I have tried to get to the bottom of this, and I regret to say that you will probably not like this news, especially for the other girl.'"

I look around at everyone's intent faces. "Who is it from?" Matthew asks.

"My mother, the queen." I don't hold back the pointed look I give Francesca.

"'I only have one son and one daughter. My one true daughter has a mole beside her eyebrow and one on her earlobe. Also, she received a scar from a smallpox vaccination at the age of one. That is all of the birthmarks I can supply to you. Best of luck. Love, Mama.'"

I lower the sleeve of my shoulder to show my scar. There, that proves that I'm the princess. "So I guess I'm the princess," I say rather smugly.

Then Francesca starts to cry. "I'm sorry," she whines. "I just thought there was a way to escape my horrible past, and I thought that I was the princess because I looked like her. I'm so sorry."

Oh, dear.

"It's alright, Francesca," Mom says, sitting down next to the girl and giving her a hug. I feel so odd and dejected somehow. "I'm going to phone a friend, one who has always wanted children of her own, and I'm sure she'll be welcome to have you."

"Thank you so much, Your Majesty."

Mom smiles sympathetically and stands. "Tess, could you accompany me please?"

"Um, okay," I reply.

I follow Mom to her office and when she shuts the door, she turns to me. "What were you thinking?" she says. "How could you antagonize her that way?"

"I'm sorry!" I say defensively. "I just thought it ridiculous that she was trying to be me! It's like plagiarism with my identity!"

"Tess, you have to learn how to control your attitude. People all over the country will see your face, and if you can't hide your emotions in the face of a situation, who knows what everyone will think of their next queen?" Mom sighs and buries a hand in her hair. "I have to make that call."

"Am I excused?" I timidly say. I'm so humiliated.

"Yes, you may go. Just don't act so sarcastic next time."

"Sorry."

I step out to the other office. The majority of me is ashamed and humiliated. I can't even look at Francesca now. I have been treating her like crap, when she's been treated that way her entire life.

"Hey," I say to her.

She looks up at me then looks away. "Yes, your grace?"

"I wanted to say sorry for the way I treated you," I say, sitting next to her. "It was just a shock, you know? There's so much going on and I couldn't handle another issue. I'm sorry, truly."

Francesca allows a small smile. "It's okay. I understand what you mean. And I'm sorry about using your name. That was very thieving of me."

"It's different to admire someone and to outright act like you're them," I say. "Just be yourself, and you'll go from there. After all, you're quite beautiful."

Francesca laughs. "You are too, your grace."

"Please, call me Tess."

Mom pops her head through the doorway and says to Francesca, "A car will com pick you up tomorrow. You can stay at the palace for tonight."

"Thank you, Your Majesty," the girl replies.

"Well, at least I can say I met one of the six people in the world that looks like me," I say.

She giggles. "Yes, I suppose I can say that too."

I stand. "Here, I'll lead you to your room."

"Thank you, Tess."

Matt is talking to his father, so I don't feel the need to say goodbye. As we walk to her room, I try to gather my thoughts. I'm still so embarrassed that America Singer Schreave, the Queen of Illéa, scolded me. But another factor of that ordeal tickles my mind, like an inkling that begs to be noticed.

She scolded me like a parent.

* * *

**I don't really know where I was going with this one. However, this chapter actually means a lot to me for reasons you might not think. Anyways, you'll find out who Francesca's new mother will be in the next chapter. **

**QOTD: Who do you think your celebrity doppelganger would be?**

**Answer to previous QOTD: Your answers were great! Here was my list:  
Tess- Nina Dobrev  
Matthew- Alex Pettyfer maybe, Zac Efron, or Grant Gustin  
Rilane and Alexandra- Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen; maybe Shailene Woodley but two of her and one would have blue eyes; same thing with Chloe Grace Moretz  
America- Amy Adams  
Maxon- Max Irons but a bit older (he has always been Maxon in my head)  
Alexander- Gregg Sulkin  
Xander- Josh Hutcherson or Billy Unger  
Maria- Isabelle Fuhrman  
Jerome- Jake Abel **

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**Kiren- Idk how Tess knew it was eyeliner, but maybe you'll find out next chapter? I hate eyeliner. Thanks so much!**

**agb1700- I was actually going to maker Francesca her twin initially, but then I was like no that's a crappy idea. :P I hope everyone gets a happy ending :) Thank you!**

**LovableL101- Your cast list was perf! And it would be really cool if this was a movie :P Thanks so much!**

**SJWrites2014- Lol I was thinking of something along the lines of that. Perfect! Thanks so much!**

**theoneforever- Haha I have a feeling you're really emotional :P It's true that it's my story, but the characters are the stars. I hope you don't die no matter what happens with this story! And the cast was great. Thank you so much!**

**LittleMissTori- Ah, Ansel Elgort. I watched his livestream and I was fangirling the entire time. The cast list was great :) Thank you so much! **

**KhrystineR- Sooo glad you let me steal the question! It was a really good one. Haha Tess be taking off her earrings :P #ghetto JUST KIDDING! Aw did you really cry during Alexa's POV? I'm so relieved that my story is actually affecting people :) It means you care. Thank you so much!**

**Please-and-Thankyou's- I know what you mean about people that would truly get that character's actual personality. I'd make a really bad casting director :P "You look like him/her, so you won't disappoint the fans. Just read the lines, it's straight from the book. Good? Okay." Yeah...Thanks so much!**

**PokemonLuver151- Tbh if this was a movie at all, I'd be happy already. :P Thanks so much!**

**dakotamo- Awww haha you cried :) Glad you liked it! Thank you so much!**

**NalissaPatali- Idk, _would _Matt stay with her? Good question. Answer is maybe in the next chapter? Thanks!**

**winterprincess- Haha I hate those kinds of people: hypocrites. I'm a hypocrite myself. (Get it?) Your cast was absolutely perfect :) Thank you so much!**

**Athenachild101- Ooh Megan Fox. A little too sexy to be Tess :P Maybe. Idk. Spot on with Amy Adams :) Thanks so much!**

**selectionprincess59- Selena Gomez :) Love her. Thanks so much!**

**salmabookworm- I have my cast list up there! Great cast list! Thanks so much!**

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Girl, I love how you took the time to log out and went back and reviewed. #TrueDedication :P Cast list was perfect! Thank you so much!**

**ilona18- #TessPower :P Thanks so much!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	25. Chapter 24

_Matthew's POV_

I wake up struggling to breathe. My lungs feel like they've been compressed, and there's not enough air all of a sudden. I feel like I'm choking. I try to calm my breaths, keeping it quiet it so I won't wake up my companion.

But I can tell she's not here anymore.

The sky is dark and still starry, yet my balcony doors are open, bringing the sweet scent of the gardens to me. Tess is sitting on the balcony, her head against the railing.

Maybe the fresh air will do my breathing some good.

I walk out to Tess, and she doesn't look at me even when I sit down in front of her. She's been wearing that long-sleeved shirt I gave her every night. When it's being washed, she just borrows another one of my clothes. I'm not complaining. They look better on her anyway.

"Sorry if I woke you," she mumbles.

"Nah, I wanted some fresh air anyway," I say, joking and nonchalant. But Tess doesn't so much as crack a smile. "Are you okay?"

"Your mom got mad at me a while ago for being so mean to Francesca."

I don't understand why this is such a big deal. I mean, it's part of the job requirement of being a parent to scold your kids. Besides, Francesca is a fake. Her crying is as fake as the plants in my father's office.

I've never seen Tess like that. I've never seen her so genuinely irritated and frustrated that another person was trying to steal her identity. It makes sense, though. I guess it would be annoying if someone was trying to copy your every move, your every attribute.

"I just want to be myself," Tess says, still not meeting my eyes. "When I was younger, I was that girl who would follow every popular thing. I begged my parents for a laptop because all the cool kids had one. I wanted to be a cheerleader, I wanted to wear cute skirts and ruffly tops, I wanted a boyfriend and a million friends. Then something hit me when I was about thirteen. I didn't want to be a carbon copy. I didn't want to be like everyone else. I wanted to revolutionary, you know? I wanted to be unheard of.

"I finally achieved that. I was writing for the high school newspaper, I was in the orchestra, my schedule was comprised of honors or AP classes. I was my own person." She takes a breath. "That's why when this girl pretends to be me, I feel as if my originality is wiped away. I didn't feel special anymore."

I ponder on that for a bit. It's an interesting personal revelation. That's how we want as a person, yeah? We try to be "revolutionary" and unique. We have to try and be the best version of ourselves.

I don't reveal any of these thoughts to Tess. It suddenly strikes me how much I don't know about her childhood. I've never even heard of this story. All at once, it feels like I don't know her at all.

"I'm assuming your memory's getting better," I say.

I see a corner of her lips slightly jerk up. "Yeah, pictures help a lot. Isabelle and Olivia gave me a lot when they were here for my birthday. I even wrote a diary, but not because I thought it was cool. I've been reading a lot, and the memories are gradually coming back."

"That's great," I say encouragingly. "I'm glad you're healing."

Tess looks at me now, her dark eyes reflecting the moonlight overhead.

"Tell me the real reason you woke up," she says, her voice cold and unfeeling.

"I couldn't breathe."

Her eyes focus on the gardens again, as if she can't bear to look at me. She hugs her knees to her chest and sighs. "Well, that makes two of us."

Before I ask, she says, "Anxiety attacks."

I nod and lean my head against the railing. "When I was younger," I start, "I was really obsessed with fire for some reason. It just looked so bright, and it was fascinating to me. How could a flame be produced? So I read about how a fire was made, and that oxygen and friction and heat was involved, and as an eight-year-old, it just became complicated and boring. Science was never my strong suit."

Tess smiles, but again, it doesn't quite reach her eyes. "What was your childhood like?" she asks.

"My earliest memory I can think of was sitting in a classroom with Michael next to me," I say, a picture of everything so big around me flashing in my mind. My memories aren't vivid. They come like pictures, images, flashes of color, a scent of cologne, a voice but not the words. "I just remember holding a pencil and having to kneel on my seat so I could actually write on the desk. It would reach my nose if I sat normally. Michael was always studious, and at times I didn't understand why. I asked him once, probably when I was six, why he wanted to try so hard. 'Do you do it to impress Mom and Dad and Silvia?' I asked. 'No,' he said. 'I do it for me, because I believe that I deserve the best, as does everyone.' So I worked hard in academics and foreign languages, because I wanted to be smart and all that crap. I wanted to exceed my own expectations."

"I was like that in school too," she says. "My friends would tease me and call me obsessive-compulsive, but I called it perfectionism."

I smirk. "Aren't they the same thing?"

"Obsessive-compulsiveness is classified as a disorder," she answers as if it's the obvious. "I didn't want to have a disorder. Disorders are usually mind-involved. I always took pride in my intelligence, and if something was wrong with the way I thought, then that would mean I wasn't...I don't know. Smart, I guess. To me, it meant I didn't have enough mind-control."

"You're very opinionated," I say.

She smiles that half-smile again. "Yeah, I've been told."

"Your morals and your outlooks are interesting."

"What about you?" she says. "Don't you have opinions?"

"It's hard to have your own opinions when people feed them to you. This is right, or this is wrong. My entire Life was basically black and white. Don't do this or the country will hate you."

Tess breathes a slight laugh.

"When I was a kid," I continue, "I thought sports were the coolest thing. So I asked for that climbing wall in the gym. I'd use it now, but I can't work out as often anymore."

"How do you deal with it?" she asks. "You just brush it off like it's a joke."

"No one likes being pitied, Tess."

"It's not that," she says. "It's like...I don't know. You're just ignoring it like there isn't anything else you or we could do."

"That's because there isn't," I say, grasping the railing. "We're all going to die anyway. I don't see the need to fear or wonder if I'm going to wake up tomorrow morning. I'd rather live Life as a joke than live it like I'm a jukebox that will run out of songs to play. My heart is literally deteriorating. I am falling apart, and my heart refuses to regenerate itself. I'm breaking from the inside."

Tess won't look at me again. "What do your siblings think?"

I stay quiet.

This time she looks at me, her eyes simmering with outrage. "You mean you haven't told them?" she cries. "What are they going to do when you just randomly pass out and they'll never know why?"

"It's funny," I say. "Aunt Marlee said the same thing about you."

"You have to tell them. Not knowing something is the most horrible thing."

"Because you're a miss know-it-all," I say teasingly.

"I'm serious, Matthew," she sighs.

"You're always so serious lately."

"I have my reasons," she replies, sighing again. "Please tell them."

"After the wedding," I promise.

"Fine," she grumbles. She takes a deep breath, sounding like a heavy sigh.

"Why do you keep sighing?" I ask.

"I'm not," she says, yawning this time. "I just can't breathe. A single breath is too small. I can't get enough air. You're doing it too."

"Oh."

We're quiet for a long time, long enough that the guard we've been staring at is replaced by another.

"I used to think," I say, "that I would die during a rebel attack. I got so paranoid that a rebel would come through the doors and shoot me dead."

"Were there a lot of rebel attacks when you were a kid?"

"So often it was almost routine. But since your friend Luke was the leader, we're not having any problems anymore."

"He's not my friend," she mutters. "Not anymore."

"How did you meet the guy anyway?"

"At school. I was in fourth grade, and there was a math test that only he and I aced. I pegged him as smart."

"Something else happened," I say. "Something you're not telling me."

"When we were in seventh grade, word got around that he liked me, you know, _that _way." She shakes her head. "Ugh, middle school. So I was just joking about it and stuff because this was the first time a boy liked me. I didn't like him back at all, so it was sort of funny. We went to different high schools, then we went to the same college. Then that was the year when he said he really liked me, and I just...I don't know. I pushed him away because I didn't feel that way toward him."

"Why?" I ask.

"Just because," she says simply, using that matter-of-fact voice again. "I don't know. He was smart, athletic, but...he might have been the only person I knew more opinionated than me. We were so alike in so many ways, and the same issue of being original came up."

"You and I are alike," I say.

"Yeah, but you're...I don't know." She grins at me, and I'm glad to see an actual smile. "I like you," she says, tucking her hair to reveal her slightly red ears.

"You like me?" I ask, acting shocked. "But why?"

She laughs, making the guard by a lamppost look at us. Ironically, it's Luke. He looks away quickly and observes the forest. Thankfully, Tess doesn't notice him.

"You really want me to tell you the reasons I like you?"

"Yeah," I say. "Pretend we're both in high school, and you know, we're just hanging out at my place after dinner with my parents after they just showed you all of my embarrassing baby pictures."

Tess laughs again. "Okay, I have to look for those now." She looks at me, her eyes smiling.

"So, Tess," I say, slightly leaning forward. "Why do you like me?"

"You're funny," she starts. "You're musically gifted, and I find that incredibly attractive. Your singing makes me swoon."

I laugh at that.

"I'm not kidding!" she says in defense, though there's really no reason to defend herself. "Okay, um, you're a literary genius. I've never met a guy so interested in pre-Illéa literature. I find that attractive too. Oh, you also speak more than two languages, and I think that's really cool."

It's funny and endearing how she thinks it's cool when she's fluent in more than one language as well.

She smirks. "Okay, this is going to sound really shallow, and I have to admit I've never been so open about my emotions before, but your eyes. I love your blue eyes. And another shallow preference, your shiny light brown hair."

I can't contain my grins. "Light brown?" I repeat. "It just seemed brown to me."

"No, no, there's a difference."

"Okay," I say, laughing. "You're really funny, love."

"You give me nicknames I adore." She taps her chin. "Except woman. I quite despise it when you call me woman. I don't need a person to tell me my gender."

I laugh. "You really don't like being told what to do."

"No, no, I don't."

"Okay, my turn," I say. "Do you want me to start with personality or appearance first?"

She laughs. "You don't even have to do this at all."

"Appearances it is," I say. I clear my throat for dramatic effect. "I really love your black hair. I like how it's long and wavy. Your really dark eyes are intriguing and mysterious, but you're really not considering how talkative you are."

She laughs more, pushing my knee.

"And I love that. You're open with me, and you don't restrain yourself with what you think. The opinions thing...whew, now _that _is a turn on."

"Shut up," she says, smirking.

"You reject a lot of compliments, and I actually think that's humbling. Oh, wait, I forgot to mention how generally attractive I find you. Like, I've never been more attracted to a person. You're like a fricking magnet. Everyone's just drawn to you."

She swats me with a sheepish grin. "Have I ever told you how much I like you?" she says, her hand resting on my leg.

"We have to do some wedding stuff tomorrow," I say, not answering her question. "Well, technically later."

"What color do you want it to be?" she asks. "We need a color theme."

"What color do _you _want?" I ask.

"Blue," she says.

"Really?" I ask. "I thought your favorite color was red."

"Red's too bright for a wedding. Besides, your favorite color is blue."

"Yeah, it is."

"Yeah."

Before we realize it, the sun starts to rise.

"Matthew," she whines, and I pull her onto my lap. "We literally get six hours of sleep a night. It's not enough."

"At least we'll have eighteen hours to be awake and alive."

* * *

**Was that too fluffy? Or not fluffy enough? Or too rambly? Idk this was sort of a filler. I lied, it's the next chapter where they find out Francesca's new mom.**

**Question of the Day (stolen yet again from KhrystineR; sorry!): Who would play you if your Life was a movie?**

**Answer to previous QOTD: I think I look somewhat like Shay Mitchell complexion-wise and hair and stuff. Except she's much taller and much prettier. Maybe Janel Parrish except less vindictive-looking and with darker hair...? But you guys sort of know what I look like, what with my profile picture and all. **

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**selectionprincess59- Mm close guess. Guess again. Thanks for reviewing!**

**theoneforever- Hahaha funny. I hope this was enough Mess? Yeah, Francesca sure can be irritating :P Thank you!**

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Stealing isn't good :) Haha like Pinnochio's nose. That's funny. I quite like long reviews :) The more the merrier? Idk. Thank you so much!**

**KhrystineR- You have the greatest ideas for QOTD's :P I love JLaw. And was that enough of Matt's POV on the whole situation? If you'd like, I could PM you a special edition of that chapter :P Thank you so much!**

**Kiren- *high five* Oh, I'm the author and I totally laughed when Francesca got busted :P Idk maybe that's just me :) Thanks so much!**

**Athenachild101- Ooh Katy Perry. That's cool. I don't look like anyone really, but that statistic I said in my story is true. There really are six other people in the world that look like you. Kriss or Marlee...Good guess :) Thanks so much!**

**dakotamo- WHOA that's intense. That would...probably happen in the near future. Thanks! **

**LovableL101- Ooh Selena Gomez. I love Monte Carlo. Thank you so much!**

**PokemonLuver151- Ah, anime :P The closest thing I've watched to anime is Avatar: The Last Airbender. I loooove that sooo much. Favorite show ever, literally. I've watched every episode. Sorry, I'm totally fangirling right now :P Thanks so much!**

**SJWrites2014- Hahaha I love "The Art of Being Right." Just the fact that there is an art makes me laugh :P Stephen Amell looks perf for adult Maxon, and I was gonna say Isla Fisher also for America but I felt like it would be too many. I didn't know that many redheaded actresses :P Oh, well. Thanks so much!**

**WinteryRose- You sound unique :) I like unique people. Not Kriss or Amberly. Keep guessing, though! Thank you!**

**Please-and-Thankyou's- I'm so glad you like Tess :) That genuinely makes me happy. Thank you so much!**

**agb1700- I promise to read it when I have the time :) I'm sorry. I have to read a summer book for school *slams face with book* But sure! I'll definitely give it a read :D Fuzzy. I love the word pickle. Just the word makes me want one. Lurve ya! Thanks so much!**

**LittleMissTori- Haha JLaw is the best. Mm not Marlee, but close. Sort of. ANSEL ELGORT. Ahhhh I fangirl about him every single day and I check for a new tweet, a new vine, a new pic on Instagram, ANYTHING. It's almost embarrassing but I love him so much. (The way I love MY Michael :P ) Thanks so much!**

**winterprincess- Oh, Francesca. Yeah, it's okay. Tess regrets saying it too. Sort of. Only because America got mad at her :P Thank you so much! P.S. Hypocrites these days. :P**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	26. Chapter 25

**So added A/N: I wrote this at 1 a.m., so I corrected some stuff (HikariTheNormaller you're a savior). I also put the comments to the reviews now. I also added a section/scene because I need to address something else. Thanks!**

* * *

_Tess's POV_

Silvia drops a yard-high stack of books and folders on the table. Matt and I jump, and Silvia clicks her tongue.

"There are two weddings to plan, so you two must do your best to keep up," she says briskly, sitting down across from us. Silvia clicks her ballpoint pen. "First things first, is there a color scheme?" she says.

"We discussed it," I say, "but I have a feeling Matthew doesn't want it to be blue."

He frowns, looking surprised and amused at the same time. "How'd you know?"

"I know how your color-coordinated brain works," I say nonchalantly. "The leaves will be red, and you don't want the blue to clash with the red, yeah?"

He laughs at me. "Yeah."

"So, is it red?" Silvia says.

"Yes," I say.

I actually think red suits Matthew more than blue. He's daring and adventurous. He's passionate about everything he loves. Most importantly, nothing he does is halfhearted. He puts all of his effort into every single thing that matters in his Life. What he loves all share a first priority in his mind. Like red, things are primary, principal and first.

I'm clearly better at thinking my thoughts on someone rather than telling it to their face. I'm not the most eloquent when it comes to emotional speeches.

When we talked on the balcony, I was struggling a bit trying to find a way to tell him what I think of him.

"Red is a dazzling color," Silvia says, jotting it down. "Besides, your mother's theme was blue already. Red is very symbolic, passionate, a very popular color in New Asia; good choice."

"It also represents good luck and happiness in New Asia," I add.

"Love," Matt says, bumping his shoulder into mine, "stop being so smart and shut up."

I stick my tongue out at him, and Silvia clears her throat.

"Okay, flowers," she says. "Those are also very symbolic."

"Tess, what was your province flower again?" he asks. "Do you remember it?"

"Midston's province flower is a red camellia," Silvia says. "Camellias are perfect for you two. To some parts in New Asia, the petals mirror the spirit of a lady, and the holder of the petals represents the young man entrusted by the lady as her protector."

Matt nudges me again. "I feel like she's the protector," he tells Silvia.

I laugh. "Shut—Actually, you're right." We both laugh, and Silvia glares at our repartee. "I'm kidding," I say.

"So red camellias?" Silvia says.

"Make it white," Matt says. "That way it's not overdose on the red. As much as I don't like colors clashing, I don't like monotony."

"Now for bridesmaids and groomsmen," she says.

"I'll need a few minutes to think of mine," I say. "Matthew, you go first."

"Okay," he says immediately. "Best Man is Jerome de Illéa de Monpezat—"

"Wait," I say. "De _Illéa_? You guys are related?"

"Yep," he says. "His grandmother is my grandfather Clarkson's second cousin, so Jerome's my...I don't know, we're just related."

"Okay."

"Okay, so," Matt continues, "my groomsmen will include Xander, Angelo—"

"My older brother?" I say.

"Yeah, he's a good guy. Um, Alexander because he's not so bad either..."

As Matthew continues his list of groomsmen, that consist mostly of cousins, it occurs to me how Matthew always sees the good in people. I'm not sure if that's a true fact for everyone, but for the most part it's correct. Even with Marian Leger from all those months ago. He sees people for who and what they are without bias, and I think that's totally unparalleled.

"Tess?" Matt waves a hand in my face and snaps his fingers.

I fake a scowl. "I'm here."

"It's your turn."

"I want my Maid of Honor to be Maria, if that's okay," I add. Silvia just notes it down, so I assume age is really just a number. "Bridesmaids include Isabelle Day, Olivia Semancik, and as far as I remember, I have a cousin named Natalia in Italy. Um, let's see...Rilane and Alexandra, that is, if the latter is available and not away for the honeymoon. And maybe my friends from the Selection, like Perris Conner, Sierra Ridley, Annabel Paisley."

This woman really amazes me. Silvia scrawls everything I say and keeps up. I'm suddenly hit by a tsunami of sadness when I realize Eva can't be my bridesmaid.

"Flower girl and ring bearer?" she says.

I turn to Matthew. "I remember your telling me you wanted your Aunt Kenna's youngest daughter, Anneliese."

"And I believe you have a younger cousin named Antonio," he says.

"I'm starting to think you know me better than I know myself," I reply.

"I may."

"Who are you inviting to the wedding?" Silvia interrupts.

Matthew lists a bunch of foreign dignitaries that need to be there, and I list some royals that deserve to be invited. My foster family, as well as my biological family, are invited of course. International VIPs are all invited, and once we're done with the list, Silvia hands it to the maid to send it to the printing offices for invitations.

There's a knock on the door as we're discussing entertainment. It turns out to be Maxon, and he smiles at us. Silvia hastens to curtsy, while Matthew and I simply smile in return.

"Wedding planning, I presume?" he says.

"Yes, Your Majesty," Silvia says perkily. "We're just discussing entertainment."

"Ah, really?" Maxon says. "Well, if you need a photographer, you know where to find me."

Silvia looks as if she's been insulted. "No, Your Majesty, I refuse to let a One do the work of a Five."

"Silvia, the castes are dead and gone remember?" he replies smoothly. "Besides, it's their decision. I'm just suggesting that I'm a decent photographer."

"Excuse me, " I say, "did you just say _decent_?"

"Father, we'd love it if you were the wedding photographer," Matt says. "Do you want to be?"

"Of course!" he says happily. "Anything for my children."

It warms me knowing that he thinks of me as _his_ child.

"On one condition," I say. He looks stricken for a moment, and I almost laugh. "You have to be in at least half of the pictures you take."

Maxon grins. "Deal. Silvia, don't include me in the budget. This is strictly family, and I refuse to be paid."

I can't help but smile. "Maxon, you're the best."

"Call me Dad, Father, Old Pop if you'd like." I laugh, and he leaves the room.

"Well," Silvia says with finality, "that's one less thing to take care of."

After nineteen minutes, we have most of the wedding planned. Now we have to deal with our features. Matt wants my wedding gown to be a surprise, and I want his attire to be anonymous as well. Matthew suggests to keep my makeup light, and I finally realize why he hates clowns.

"We'll discuss that separately then," Silvia says. "Now the rings."

For some reason, Matthew shudders.

"What's wrong?" I ask.

"No, you're going to make fun of me for another irrational fear," he says, crossing his arms.

I gasp. "You're afraid of _rings_?"

"What if they get stuck on my finger?" he asks, outraged and horrified.

"Prince Matthew, with all due respect," Silvia says, "they won't get stuck unless the ring size isn't correct or your wearing Princess Teresa's ring. You'll be fine."

I have to laugh at that.

"You'll have an appointment to the jewelers tomorrow," she says, scribbling another note. "Now for the wedding cake. We have a list of bakers that are well-known for making wedding cakes. I think your parents' baker is here somewhere..." She takes out several papers from a folder and gives it to us. We decide on Piper Jennings, a world-renowned chef and baker. Her entire team will be doing the meals as well as the cake, which Matt and I will be discussing with her on a different day.

"Okay, I think that settles everything that needs to be settled at the moment," Silvia says, clicking her pen. "The wedding will be at Saint Peter's Basilica in Rome, correct? The reception will be at the Grand Armani. Your honeymoon...Oh, yes, that's a surprise from Matthew. Your vows will be written and shown to me for revision. You have the readings already. The notice is being sent to the Pope. Fittings will be sometime next month. The papers are being processed as we speak. The bachelor party is being hosted by Jerome, while Maria will be hosting the bachelorette party."

Silvia looks up at me. "Are you sure that she will be able to handle that?"

"Maria's capable of a lot," I say. "I trust her."

"Alright," Silvia stands up. "It was a pleasure working with you two. Enjoy the rest of your day."

"Thank you," Matt and I say.

When she exits the room, Matthew abruptly picks me up and spins me around. I squeal in his arms.

"We're getting married!" he says, finally setting me down.

"Matthew!"

He sets me down and kisses my cheek.

"Matthew," I say, more serious now. "I don't want to dampen the mood, and I'm really excited too, but you promised me you'd tell them."

"Who's them?" he says, taking my hands. "Or should it be who's _they_? English is so weird sometimes. I mean, grammar is all funky."

"Stop stalling, or else I'll them myself," I say. "I don't like telling people what to do, so please just do this. For me."

He sighs with finality. "Fine."

We rally up the entire family into the common room.

"So I have news to tell you," Matt says, standing in the middle of the room. "Um, Mother and Father know, of course, and so does Tess, Aunt Marlee, and Alex."

"Is Tess pregnant too?" Jerome calls out.

I turn to him and punch his shoulder.

"God, Jer," Matt says, laughing because the news is in no way, shape, or form hilarious. "Um, okay. So you know Grandfather Shalom? He died because of a, uh, genetic heart disease. And I happen to have that heart disease."

Gasps of shock fill the room. Alexandra starts crying, and Riley, who's sitting next to me, looks so shattered and heartbroken I put my arms around her. She holds on tight, as if every reality she knows actually isn't true. Jerome looks stricken, his elbows on his knees and his eyes focused on the floor. Mom's face is crestfallen and downcast, now that Matthew's admitted it to the entire family.

"That's why Father and I were in France for so long," Matt continues. "I was in the hospital wing after I blacked out. I was asleep for a week." He lowers the neckline of his shirt to show the pacemaker buried beneath his flesh. "This is a pacemaker. This gives me—I don't know—three to four more years to live? Scientists are looking for a cure now, but it doesn't seem like they're getting closer."

Riley's tears slip down my cheek along with my own. Hearing it a second time doesn't make the pain hurt any less.

"Another alternative is a heart transplant, but that hasn't been done since pre-Illéa. Even then, it would give me only fifteen more years to live, give or take a few." Matt smiles sadly. "I guess that's it."

Everyone runs to him and gives him a hug, crying and talking to him, saying how sorry they are. However, Jerome stays planted in his seat, staring at the floor. He stands up and leaves the room.

Matthew catches my eye, then disbands from the group before leaving to find Jerome.

A maid soon knocks on the door. "Your Majesty," she says to Mom. "She's here."

I frown. "Wait, who's here?"

Mom turns to me and says, "Go get Francesca, please, and bring her to the foyer."

I just nod, because I feel like more questions will just bother her. I bound up the stairs to Francesca's room. She's sitting in front of the vanity fixing her hair. She's wearing a dark green sundress and white flats. At least the palace staff is treating her nicely.

"Mom—I mean, America asked me to bring you to the foyer," I say.

Francesca nods and follows me. "I'm sorry for the whole 'I'm the real princess' thing."

As much as I hate to say it, I'm more of a forgive but never forget person. "It's fine," I say. "Just don't do it again."

"Yeah, it won't happen." She turns to me. "Who do you think my new mother will be?"

I shrug. "One way to find out."

We reach the foyer and find Mom embracing a woman. When they separate, they turn to look at us. The woman has jet-black hair and kind pointed eyes. She's New Asian. It's not even a guess.

Wait. Mom's friend? I recognize the woman now.

"Francesca, meet Elise Whisks," Mom says. "A former Selection candidate and one of my closest friends."

"America, I feel the same way," Elise replies. "Thank you for giving me a call." She turns to Francesca and me. "Now, who's Francesca? I almost can't tell the difference."

Francesca laughs (a little too smugly for me). "I am, Miss Whisks."

"What's your name?" Elise asks.

"Um, Francesca, miss."

"Enough with the miss," Elise says, waving the formality off. "As soon as we get the papers complete, you can call me _mom_."

Francesca smiles, and she looks like she's on the verge of either crying or jumping up and down. "Thank you so much."

Elise turns to me next and curtsies. "You must be Princess Teresa. I've heard so much about you."

"It's so nice to meet you," I say. "The last Selection candidate I encountered wasn't as...genuine."

Elise smiles sympathetically. "I assume Celeste Newsome is in town."

I nod, and she turns to her long-time friend. "I wanted to thank you again for this opportunity."

Mom smiles. "I'm sure you'll take good care of her."

Elise smiles and leads Francesca to the car. Both girls eave goodbye and drive away.

"Is Elise married?" I ask.

Mom shakes her head. "When she didn't win the Selection, her parents thought if her as a disgrace. She didn't get 'the best', so to speak, and her parents denied every suitor who came to her. It was upsetting really. There were so many men who wanted to marry a former Selection candidate."

"So is Francesca her first child?"

"Oh, no. Elise apparently always wanted children of her own, so she began adopting children that aren't quite as fortunate as she. I believe she has four. Well, five now."

That's awfully inspiring. "How does she manage all of them?"

Mom grins. "She doesn't 'manage' them. Children aren't animals, Tess, or a business. They're not something you're supposed to invest in."

"You still didn't answer my question," I persist.

She chuckles. "She has maids at home. She actually owns a very successful medical company whose current research is..." Mom suddenly looks fazed, like a revelation just presented itself at this moment.

"Get Matthew. Now."

* * *

**I hope that was somewhat of an improvement from last night. **

**Question of the Day: (I remember having a really good one, but I forgot T_T) Which Disney princess are you most like? (Personality and/or physically)**

**Answer to previous QOTD: I feel like I want Lucy Hale to play me. **

**selectionprincess59- Yup, it's Elise! Thanks for reviewing!**

**LovableL101- I'm not so different from Spencer, but I feel like she's too intense. :P Thank you so much!**

**winterprincess- Aw thank you! I'm so glad you liked it! I was trying to make it poetic and inspirational. I'm glad it worked :) Thank you so much!**

**theoneforever- I love Shailene Woodley :) Aw dying peacefully? It won't be the same for Matthew...Ummmm I mean, what? I like pickles. Thank you so much!**

**lilythemermaid- I totally pegged you as Lily Collins too (absolute girl-crush too). **Yeah, your sarcasm kinda seeps in the messages :P **If I Stay...the title itself is poetic. I'm expecting it to be really good. Haha too much fluff. I guess it doesn't exist? Thank you so much! LALOL**

**Kiren- I'm using my phone, and you're right; autocorrect sucks. Anyways. More action? I might be able to make something happen. Thanks so much!**

**agb1700- I love reading anyways, just not something I'm forced to read. I hate being told what to do and being forced to do something I don't want. Oh well. I believe I reviewed your story? I'll check again, but I read it. It's off to a good start! I'll PM you more about the thrill of being a fanfic writer, because I totally get what you mean :) Thanks so much! Lurve ya!**

**LittleMissTori- It makes me happy you're actually reading my responses :P Haha yeah I'm not a very good actor so I don't even think I can do myself :P sigh. Guys are enigmas. Even Sherlock Holmes couldn't solve those mysteries. I started re-watching PLL. The 100th episode had me like :O I'll PM you about it. Thanks so much!**

**bubble4life- Trust me, there is not a person in this world weird enough to harness the personality of AcademicGirl :P That's a good question. I'm not sure I'm this passionate about any other books. You know, passionate enough to write a story for it. Idk. We'll see. Thank you!**

**SJWrites2014- OMG that's so perf. I had to look up SO *facepalm* Allison Hannigan? You must be pretty then :) Thanks so much!**

**KhrystineR- I might need a reminder, so PM me any time you want! Ask and you shall receive :) I'm glad you liked the chapter! Wait, Jessica Sanchez...are _you _Filipino? That would be a helluva coincidence :) Sort of. Thanks so much!**

**Guest- Glad you liked the fluffness :P Thanks so much!**

**PokemonLuver151- I love it so much. I always get super hyper when I know someone who watches it ;) Thank you!**

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**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	27. Chapter 26

_Matthew's POV_

I knock on the door. "Jerome, please." I'm suddenly hit by a wave of dizziness, but I push it aside. I must have gone up the stairs too fast.

When he doesn't respond, I abandon trying to be civil and barge in. His room is a mess, just like usual. No matter how many times the maids clean up his room, it will always be unkempt.

I'm not obsessive-compulsive the way Tess is, but even the disarray makes me inwardly shudder.

Jerome is staring at a picture in his hands. "Do you know how hard it is to lose a brother?" he asks, still sitting on the ground.

I sit next to him, his hands obstructing my view of the photograph. "Jer, you don't have any brothers."

But I know what he's saying.

"Losing Michael was like losing my childhood," he says numbly. "It was like my memories were actually made up in my head."

"I know what you mean," I say.

"You two were more than relatives to me. You guys were my brothers that had my back, wrestled with me, made fun of me, gave me 'the talk' about Rilane..."

I laugh at the last one, hoping to diffuse the tension and despondency, but Jerome doesn't smile one bit.

"I lost Michael already, Matthew," he says. "If I lose you now, my brothers will be gone."

I'm surprised he's not mad at me. I was expecting an outburst or anger. And to be honest, I'd rather want him mad. Seeing him so miserable makes me feel horrible, as if it's my own fault that my heart is deficient.

"You'll still have Xander," I say encouragingly.

"It's not the same. He's younger and...I don't know. It's different. You and Michael know the struggles of being a prince. Xander has it easy. He's the youngest."

"But if and when I die," I say, "he'll be the new crown prince."

"Unless you marry Tess and she changes the line of succession."

I shake my head. "I don't think she'd do that. It's definitely a possibility that she'd love someone else," I choke out, mentally suffering at the thought she'd love someone else, "but I don't think she would betray my parents like that."

"Do you ever think about what would happen to everyone else if you go?" he asks.

I nod. "Yeah. I'm not saying it's going to be bleak and desolate without the amazing Matthew Schreave." He laughs at that, and I'm glad he's more at ease now. "But I'm not saying that everyone's going to be jumping for joy."

"Well, it's one less person to feed," Jerome jokes. "No one will have to worry about cleaning up after you—"

"Okay, that's enough." I grin and swing an arm around his shoulders. "I can't guarantee I'll live, but I'll definitely be with you. In your heart." I say the last three words with a high-pitched voice, and he laughs. We both know we're not the sentimental kind of friends.

A knock on the door intrudes our "heart-to-heart" session, and Jerome says, "Come in."

The open door reveals a harried Tess. "I thought you two would be in here," she says. "Matthew, I need you."

Jerome suggestively wiggles his eyebrows, and we both snicker.

Tess scoffs. "I hate you guys. Just...no. Elise Whisks? That former Selection candidate? Her medical company is working on a cure for cardiomyopathy. Sound familiar?"

"Tess," Jerome says, protruding his tongue. "We're not smart enough for your doctor talk."

Jer and I share a laugh again, but Tess's grim look in her eyes makes us stop. "Please. Matthew could live. It's important."

Jerome stands and leaves the picture on the floor. "I guess you should go," he says, holding out a hand for me to stand.

When I do get up, I get the same nauseating feeling in my head. I stumble and check my balance.

"Matt, are you okay?" Jerome asks, putting an arm around me.

Tess rushes to my side, and I'm on the verge of saying "yes" when I black out. The last thing I see is the photograph of Michael, Jerome, and me.

* * *

_Tess's POV_

"Shit, shit, shit," I mumble. I run as fast as I can to the hospital wing. "The prince" is all I need to say before the doctor and a couple of guards and nurses rush with a stretcher.

When we reach Jerome's room, Matthew's still on the floor, in a heap. Jerome seems paralyzed in fear, just standing there staring at Matthew. He seems completely immobile until the staff runs in. The guards lift him up on the stretcher and wheel him to...the foyer?

There's an ambulance waiting, and I turn to the doctor.

"This surpasses our abilities," he says. "We need to get him to an actual cardiologist. I'm so sorry I'm not able to fix this, your highness."

I wave a hand as they hoist the stretcher into the ambulance. "It's alright," I say. "You're only human. Even some things are out of your grasp."

The doctor gives me an apologetic smile, and I jump up in the car. Mom's shining bright hair bursts into view. She just jumps inside, and the guards accompanying us shut the doors.

Matthew lies there, his arms flat on the stretcher. An oxygen mask is covering most of his face, and his eyes are closed. I don't know if I should perceive him as peaceful or lifeless. I'd like to think of him as the former. I don't want him to go. Not today, not tomorrow, not ever. _Please, please, please, God, not today. _

"Tess, you're hyperventilating," Mom says, placing her hand on top of mine and leaves it there. "We're going to a hospital right now. EW Corporation needs a blood sample. They're working on a drug that will control his abnormal heart beat. I'm sure the cardiologists will explain more in detail in ways I can't fathom, but I'm sure you'll understand it."

I smile and look at Matthew, glad I see the slight rise and fall of his chest. "This must be really hard for you," I say dumbly.

Mom sighs. "It's hard for everyone. It's extremely hard when you love them so much."

"Yeah."

"It's a horrible thought, but at least I'm prepared this time," she says. "Last time was a surprise. At least knowing it might happen anytime would lessen the blow."

I look at her, and her blue eyes are glassy. "Mom," I say, giving her a hug. She cries into my neck, and I cry on her shoulder.

At least I know I won't be alone.

We arrive at the hospital, and we dry our tears. We look at each other, and we have to laugh at each other's tear streaked faces. The guards open the doors to the back, and a flock of people wearing medical scrubs carries the stretcher off the ambulance and wheels it to the building. The press is already waiting for us, some snapping pictures here and there and the others recording our every movement.

"Queen America, tell us what is going on," a reporter says, shoving a mic at her face.

"Princess Teresa, how is your fiance?" A mic hits my mouth, and I yelp.

The guards manage to hold off the slew of interviewers, and we rush to the ER. Matthew's now first priority, as he is the crown prince. Nurses hook him up to machines, and Mom and I are whisked to an empty waiting room.

Ugh.

The white tiles and blank walls make me want to throw up.

A doctor walks to us from Matt's room. "Your Majesties," he says. "I'm Doctor Gemini. The prince is in good hands, I assure you. I'm sure you want to know the precise details of his condition. I hate to be the one to tell you, but it was quite unwise of him to not take care of this sooner. The disease definitely had time to progress—"

"Are you able to fix this?" I ask impatiently.

"Uh, I'll tell you the diagnostics first," Dr. Gemini says, "then you can decide for yourself."

Mom and I nod, and he goes ahead. "Familial restrictive cardiomyopathy is uncommon, especially after Illéa was established. The disease was passed down through the Singer family line. It's a mutated gene called _TNNI3. _But it would be pointless to tell you more about the gene. For the heart to beat normally, the cardiac muscle must contract and relax in a coordinated way. People with RCM have cardiac muscle that is stiff and cannot fully relax after contraction. Impaired muscle relaxation causes blood to back up in the atria and lungs, which reduces the amount of blood in the ventricles."

He pauses for a while to let that absorb. "Wait," I say. "Matthew said his heart was deteriorating."

"Technically speaking, it is. However, this involves more of how the blood is pumping through the heart."

"What are the symptoms?" Mom asks.

"Breathing problems, arrhythmia, dizziness, fatigue," I start, and both adults look at me. "Sorry, you're the doctor."

"No, no, that's perfectly fine. Those are definitely some of the symptoms, and I see that the prince has already experienced some of these."

"Doctor, is there any possible cure for this?" Mom asks, almost begging.

"Your Majesty, there are drugs being developed to help slow its development."

"But is there any way to stop it completely?"

"I'm sure you've heard this already, Your Majesty, but a heart transplant might ultimately end up being the cure."

"That sounds risky," I say. Dr. Gemini nods, and that's all he does concerning my comment.

"Prince Matthew will have new medication to take every night," he continues. "It will help control his blood flow and make sure he doesn't faint so often."

"Thank you, Doctor," Mom says. "The information is greatly appreciated."

"Someone has to inform you." Dr. Gemini starts to return to the ER. "Expected symptoms might be loss of appetite, so just watch out for that."

"Thanks," we mumble.

He closes the door behind him, and I sigh. "It's like he might die either way."

Mom nods. "There's the transplant and there's relying on a drug that doesn't even exist."

"Damned if he does, and damned if he doesn't."

"Well, I suggest you guys do something worthwhile," she says. "Besides, he still has years ahead of him. You have enough time."

"There's never enough time."

* * *

**Well, I hope that gave you more...insight, I guess. **

**Also, I apologize for not updating in a while. I went to vacation with my family, and we went hiking in a forest. Guys, you take breathing for granted. I was hiking, and I could actually BREATHE. It was a blessing, really, cuz now I'm back home, and I can't fricking breathe again. Sigh.**

**MAJORLY IMPORTANT: If you guys PM me and I haven't responded yet I'm uploading chapters, don't take it to heart. I'm literally trying to scrounge up every minute I can, and when I manage to get one, I PROMISE you that I will respond ASAP. I get how it is to PM someone and not get a response, and you feel like you're being ignored, but please don't think that. I literally have read all of the PM's I have but I just haven't responded yet. My apologies. **

**QOTD: If you could do one last thing before you died, what would it be?**

**Answer to previous QOTD: Maybe I would look like Pocahontas or Jasmine? Idk. Not Mulan b/c I'm much tanner than she is. Personality-wise I might be Anna. I'm such a pathetic romantic, and I like singing through the halls. If I lived in a palace, I'd sing just to hear my voice echo.**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**LovableL101- I'm glad you liked the chapter! Thanks so much!**

**Kiren- Sometimes I want to hug fictional characters too :P Oh Matty boy and his phobias. Thanks so much!**

**HikariTheNormaller- DUDE ****YOU SAVED MY ASS. LEGIT. Sigh. I have so many mistakes in my stories because I write so late at night. My head is like spilled watercolor paints that just looks uncoordinated *writes that down* Anyways, I know what you're saying, both about the iPhone and the colors (Wednesday was the worst). Yep, we need Steve Jobs back on Earth. Thank you so much!**

**Theoneforever- Kill you now? Don't you want to wait until a chapter does that? :P Glad you liked the chapter! Thanks so much!**

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**ilona18- What will happen? Ooh. I know! The answer is...$# %^ Thank you so much! (Also, please check the Google chat stuff cuz you might have missed some stuff.)**

**SJWrites2014- Oh those titles are so poetic. That's cute :) Your SO. Glad you thought it was improvement (I thought it was too) Thank you so much!**

**KhrystineR- Oh, that's cool! I'm 100% Filipino since I wasn't born here. :) Haha spam away cuz I'm probably going to forget again (I actually don't remember right now what it was...I might...idk). Yeah, I think Pocahontas is a Disney princess. There's probably a list online listing all of the Disney princesses. Thank you so much!**

**LittleMissTori- I'm so happy you loved it! Eh, I'm not really. I _can _act, I'm just not good at it :P There's a difference in knowing how to do something and being good at it at the same time *writes that down* So yeah. I'm not keeping up with PLL anymore. After 6 seasons and they still don't know who A is? Idk I just feel like it's being dragged out now. But opinions are opinions, and it's not like mine matter anyway *writes that down* Thank you so much!**

**winterprincess- Haha weird phobias. Oh, Disney. The new Disney movies are teaching us that true love doesn't always have to be boys, and I think that's a great message. Just don't use it for EVERY movie :P (I like romance, but I would never consent to having a bf yet.) Thank you so much!**

**ivyvian- Oh, yes, Jasmine suits you :) Thanks so much!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl **


	28. Chapter 27

_Matthew's POV_

When I open my eyes, I anticipate the hospital wing, but this place is unfamiliar. Blue curtains surround me, and the smell of antiseptics and stale urine make me gag. I know the urine is _definitely _not me.

Multiple things are attached to my bare chest. I touch a thing that's tickling my nostrils and find it to be an oxygen cannula.

Great. Even my lungs refuse to function.

I try and sit up, but my head threatens to explode. I groan and hold my head.

A doctor walks in my section of what I'm assuming is the ER. "Prince Matthew," he says, "so glad you're finally awake. Here, have some water."

The doctor hands me a glass he's been holding. I take small sips, knowing that I'd probably throw it up if I gulped it all.

"I'm Doctor Gemini," he says. "I've spoken to your mother, the queen, and the princess about your condition because they—as well as everyone else, for that matter—clearly don't know about your condition. However, I have plenty reason to think you know exactly what is happening to you."

I take another sip of water, not saying anything because he knows he's right.

"We have some medication for you to drink every night," Dr. Gemini continues. "There are three you must drink: one is a diuretic that helps remove excess fluid and sodium from the body, another is an anticoagulant that prevents your blood from clotting, and a corticosteroid that will reduce inflammation. Usually we would give you an antiarrhythmic, but your condition must have been so severe that you required the pacemaker to help with your arrhythmia."

"What kind of cure would you need?" I stammer, coughing a bit.

"Easy there, your highness." The doctor takes the half-empty glass from me and sets it on a table. "An ideal cure would be a medicine that balances your electrolytes. However, since this country was established, the remains of those medicines are...nonexistent. The EW Corporation is currently trying to develop an aldosterone blocker."

"How do I get rid of my headache?" I ask. The doctor smiles and hands me a tablet and my glass of water. I swallow the tablet and ask, "What was that exactly?"

"Ibuprofen," he says. "You could easily ask for that in the hospital wing if a headache is the only thing that ails you."

"The only thing that ails me?" I say flippantly. "Please. What ails me is how my parents will react to another dead son."

I hand back my glass to him, and he sets down the now-empty glass. He sits on the edge of my cot and sighs. "Prince Matthew, as a parent, I can only imagine what it would feel like if my daughter, Juno, passed away. If she had, I would assume I'd continue my Life's work curing other people when I could not cure my own daughter."

"Would you be devastated?"

He nods. "Absolutely. My world would shatter for a moment, and I would probably walk around in a dazed stupor."

That's exactly how I felt with Michael.

"But, you know, Life goes on. You're not the only one who has to keep moving. You may stop, but others are still going."

"If I die, do you think people would remember me?"

Dr. Gemini smiles. "You're a prince. It would be foolish of us to forget, and foolish of you to be forgotten. I advise you to do your Life's work, your dreams. Whatever you would want to do as king, you may as well start now."

The doctor stands, clasping his hands together. "There is a support group here at the hospital. You are more than welcome to join."

"Would they all have cardiomyopathy?"

"Your condition is very rare, your highness, but the other patients would be experiencing a...similar predicament."

I nod and consider it. Do I _really _need support? "How long have I been asleep?" I ask.

Dr. Gemini smiles sadly. "Two days and three hours. The princess just left several hours ago, actually. Don't fret; you'll be home as soon as your vitals are in check."

I smile. "Thanks, Doc. Could you, uh, please tell my family that I'm awake?"

"Certainly, your highness."

He disappears around the fabric of the curtain.

I don't know if I should be selfish or not. I want to think that people would miss me, but somehow that seems self-absorbed altogether. It's so ridiculous how we try to make the most of our Lives for ourselves, when maybe we should be making the most for others. I could be terminal and have a handful of minutes, but somehow I still have an entire bucket of days.

I want to visit my grandmother, while we're both still alive. I don't even want to sugarcoat it. We're both going to die, and some sick part of me wants to outlive her.

Is hatred a side effect of dying too?

Ugh, my Life is a mess. Why the hell does this keep happening? It's like the universe wants to screw with me every damn time.

What happens if I go? If I go, people might be left in my wake, maybe hopeless or sad. But an alternative ending appears: they will be happy. Like the doctor said, people would still keep going. What if I'm the only one who stops? People have Lives to live, and my expiration date just happened to come quicker.

I think about my people trade-off system. If I die, who will replace me?

I nearly gasp out loud when I actually have an answer. Alexandra's child.

If I die, then that baby might live. _Or _it could die and I will live. _Or _we could both die, or both live. I like the last possibility. I want to live to see my nephew. I probably will. It's just a matter of when and where. Here on Earth, where we're both living and breathing, or up there, floating in hopeless escape?

It's so funny how this is the way I'm probably going to die. A sickness. There's no dignity and justification in dying as a sick person. I always wanted to die a noble death. Maybe being shot during a rebel attack, or killed as a rebel hostage. Those are impossible now, but still. Dying out in a blaze of glory is better than dying out in a blaze of weakness and disease.

If I die, I want it to be on my own terms. I want the choice to say _when _and _how _I die.

Maybe I should just go paragliding and not pull on the parachute. No, the impact of the ground would hurt. Maybe I could "accidentally" impale myself with my sword. Damn it, I don't have a sword. Hang myself? Hell no.

Nope. There is no way in hell I am killing myself.

Never mind. Nope. Let the disease take me. _Killing myself? What the hell, Matthew? _

In the corner of my eye, I notice a strikingly red tulip. There's a note on it with slanted handwriting.

Tess.

_Dear Matt,_

_Um, I'm not very good at conveying my feelings. And you're right; this is humiliating. _

_Whatever you do, please don't give up. You, of all people, do not give up. If you give up, it would be like a piece of clothing just abandoning the action of holding its fibers and stitches together. _

_That was a horrible analogy, but I hope I got my point across._

_I know this isn't a fair match, because the disease will clearly lose. You don't need fancy weapons to defeat a monster. Just please don't lose hope. Do it for Mom, Dad, your siblings, the entire country...for me. _

_And if not for me, do it for yourself. You deserve a Life. So please, don't give up. You have so much to live for, and people love you._

_Come home soon._

_Yours forever,  
Tess_

She even put an infinity sign connecting the _S_'s in her name.

I just want to rip everything off me and run home. But I'm shirtless and barefoot and in no condition to walk, much less run.

The nurses check my vitals, and they say I can go home tomorrow morning. Thank God. The ER only reminds me the reason I'm here. So it's decided; I'm going to fight, and I'm going to win. I'm going to kick cardiomyopathy's ass.

Wait. This is genetic. If I have children with Tess, the gene would be passed down to them, and it would just keep going. I don't want anyone else to suffer, especially not my own children. I'd rather die than see them go through what I'm going through.

I wonder if the disease missed a generation. If my mother doesn't have it, and her siblings don't...

Her siblings...

Uncle Gerad.

Luke Danielson said he was crazy once. Is dementia a side effect? It's almost a revelation, because suddenly everything makes sense.

I need to tell someone.

But suddenly I'm too tired again, and I succumb to sleep.

* * *

**More insight? **

**QOTD: I'm kinda running out of questions, so...What is your favorite quote in any of my stories? I'm curious. VERY curious.**

**Answer to previous QOTD: I would probably spend the entire day with my family and friends. I would tell everyone what I honestly think of them. Then I would kiss a really hot guy just so I could die as a girl that's been kissed. OR I would tell my parents I'm going to die the next day and then they could fly me to NYC so I could stalk and meet Ansel Elgort. OR I could go to New Jersey and meet someone that I want to meet. Yeah. OR I would audition for the X-Factor.**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**WinteryRose- Haha that's so logical. It's like answering "I'd ask for more wishes" when asked "What would your 3 wishes be from a genie?". Hahaha yes. There's my new plot twist. Matthew will end up looking like Kim Kardashian. The end. Haha that sounds hilarious. Just watch me make Matthew lose his memory and write a fourth book :P That's so awful. I want to go to the Caribbean so badly. Thanks so much!**

**LittleMissTori- Haha John Green, more like John Mean :P And thanks, I've always wanted to be an inspirational speaker :P Jk I'd be so horrible at that. Are you kidding me? That's not weird at all. I would want to meet Ansel Elgort and then I could die happily. Puh-lease. ;) Thanks so much!**

**going for the win- The mere thought of skydiving makes me want to throw up because I'm acrophobic. Legit, the thought...*shudders* Thanks for reviewing!**

**Athenachild101- I totally forgot you were a professional! It makes me wonder how old you are, but that's probably an inadequate and impolite question. It's probably obvious that I'm much younger than you are. I'd want to sing and act, but I'm just not very good at acting :) And I'm sure you're fantastic enough to have your own role :) I'd definitely pay to see you onstage! Thanks so much!**

**PokemonLuver151- Sorry it's sad :) It'll get better, promise! Thanks so much!**

**SelectionLoverForever- Mm some Alex/Alexa romance will definitely happen soon. The wedding is only a few days away! Thanks so much!**

**fantasybookgirl- Eh, I don't update in a while, it's perfectly fine if you don't update in a while :) The wedding will be in several chapters, if not the next. Thanks so much!**

**ilona18- Haha I hate waiting. Thanks so much!**

**lilythemermaid- Haha I hate logging in from my phone. Aw I love Belle. You do look like Belle. :) And, O, everyone's strange. You should know me to be a weirdo and not just strange. Yeah, that was a depressing question. I love your idea of a last day. It's so ideal on the beach and then there's music. I want those bonfires where I just play my guitar and we all eat and have s'mores then Ansel Elgort comes out of nowhere :P Thank you so much! LALOL P.S. what if nobody finds the cure?**

**Theoneforever- I loooove ziplining. I have acrophobia but I loooove ziplining. So fun. Maybe not the Divergent one. I think I'd pee my pants. Glad you liked the chapter! Thanks so much! (I really hope you didn't die :/ )**

**magicalnerd123- Ugh bugs. I hate bugs. So much. Hiking was fun though :) Thank you!**

**SJWrites2014- Ooh, me likey. Literally watching yourself run out of time sounds horrible. Thanks so much!**

**Kiren- Paparazzi...get your own lives. Seriously. Hiking's great, but only when I can breathe :) Thanks so much!**

**Guest- I'm glad I cleared stuff up for you! Haha ooh REBEL. Lol. I love photography. I feel like I'm copying someone else's hobby, but I really like it. I would write my every single thought in a book and publish it and title _Can You Handle AcademicGirl's Brain? _So, yeah :) Thank you so much!  
**

**Please-and-Thankyou's- Ooh I wish I could cook without supervision. Like, I have a weird fear that I will set the house on fire, but I'm boss at making scrambled eggs ;) Thank you!**

**winterprincess- You're right. No cure, transplant's a fail. Matthew will die. Jk! Maybe. I love doing this :P I want to die knowing I got to go to England. Oh feminism :P I totally get what you're saying. I feel like I said it somewhere, but yeah. Thanks so much!**

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Glad you thought it was still good! Oh, besties :P I totes get what you mean haha. I hate that word, but I kind of use it a lot as a joke. Thanks so much!**

**ivyvian- I do want to be a doctor! Great guess! I try to update as soon as I can, and that's usually just one chapter a day. If I really have something to write, then it might take me two chapters and possible six hours. Sooo yeah. Thanks so much!**

**dakotamo- Aw I made you cry :*) I love Gus. He's my baby. Actually, I kind of despised Gus when he was thinking how he couldn't die a noble death and stuff, but Ansel Elgort. Now he's my baby. Lol thank you so much!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	29. Chapter 28

**Warning: Super Messy.**

_Tess's POV_

I never realized how much I loved sleeping next to Matthew.

It has become so routine in my Life schedule that when he's not present, it's like the whole day is thrown off, as if someone proclaimed the night is now day.

I visited him yesterday at the hospital. He was still asleep, and I've been praying every night that he's awake now. The bachelor and bachelorette parties for the Alex's are tonight. He kind of has to be there. Then again, he might want to avoid Alexander's posse.

If I think about it, Matt seems like the stereotypical prince. Handsome, charming, cocky...That's exactly what I thought of him when I met him, the first time and the one after the plane accident. But he's so much more than that. I can't even begin to explain how.

A knock comes at the door of my room, and I lock my thoughts in my heart. I can't confess them to myself or Matt, then they go to nobody.

I open the door, and Dad's at the door. This is unusual. "Hi," I say, making it sound more like a question than a greeting. "What brings you here?"

"Matthew woke up yesterday," he says, smiling. "Rilane and Jerome are going to pick him up now. I'm assuming you want to come?"

I nod, grinning at him like I've just won a game show. "Absolutely. I'll get changed." I'm still in my track shorts and shirt from the night before.

Dad nods, and I close my door. I get changed in an indigo day dress and my boots. I love these boots. I don't know why. I mean, they're comfortable and cute, but I feel like its meaning goes much deeper. I put my hair up in a messy bun with wavy tendrils falling out like raindrops streaking the window.

I meet Jerome and Rilane at the foyer, and he swings his keys around a finger. "Ready, Princess?" he asks.

"Yep," I reply. I practically skip to the car.

"Someone's excited," Riley says, getting into the passenger seat.

I get in the backseat. "Matt blacked out, and he hasn't woken up for two days. Of course I'm excited to see him awake."

"When's the wedding again?" Jer asks, driving to the main road.

"The twenty-fifth of September," I say. "When's yours?"

Jer coughs uncomfortably, and Riley squirms in her seat. "We're not planning on getting married," Riley says.

"Yet," Jer adds. "We're trying for a long term relationship."

A long term relationship? I don't think I could handle being in just a relationship with Matthew. I want to be his, and I want him to be mine. Is that selfish?

"Jer, when are you going back to Swendway?" I ask.

"A few days after Alexandra's wedding," he replies, and Riley turns to him aghast. "But I'm coming back for Tess and Matthew's wedding."

"Babe, why didn't you tell me?" she says. "Are we going to do a long distance relationship too?"

"Riles, just relax," he says coolly. "You can visit me sometime, and I'll visit some days."

"But I'm going to miss you," Riley says, almost whining.

Their voices become a dull buzz in my ears as I zone out. It's so weird how we don't want to be separated from the ones we love. It makes me wonder if one gets annoyed with constant companionship. I find Matt's presence comforting, especially when I have nightmares. We're not habitually by each other's sides. There are other people in the palace to interact with.

We arrive at the hospital, and we get to the ER with our heads ducked and our voices low. Riley even makes the effort of putting on a vintage fedora. I put on my aviator shades, and Jer puts on a baseball cap.

We find Matt sitting on a cot, looking a bit tired yet alert. He catches sight of us, and his smile is so contagious. "Hey," he says, standing with his arms outstretched. Riley gets to him first, and she hugs her big brother almost as tight as he's embracing her. "How you doing, Riley?" he asks, kissing the top of her head.

"I'm great, Matt. You?"

"I feel alive."

That must be the best feeling.

Jerome claps a hand on Matt's back. "How are you doing, bro?"

"I look great, yeah?" Matt asks, spinning around as if he's showing off his state.

I approach Matt next, and a different emotion fills his eyes. "Hey, handsome," I say, circling my arms around his neck. He hugs me so tight his hard chest is against mine. I vaguely feel only the tips of my toes touching the ground.

"How are you, love?" he says in my hair.

"I missed sleeping next to you."

He pulls back, still not setting me down. "Nightmares?"

_The worst I've ever had. I got three hours of sleep a night. _"Not really," I say. "I don't remember."

Matt smiles, kissing my forehead. "I'm glad."

"I missed you, though," I say, drowning in the ocean of his eyes.

He grins, not a presumptuous one, but his genuine lopsided one. "I missed you too, love."

"Ahem," Riley interrupts. "I'd appreciate it if you could make lovey-dovey eyes at each other at home."

We check Matt out of the hospital, and Matt sits next to me in the backseat. "Matt, there are a few things coming up for the both of us," I say.

"When's the wedding again?" he asks.

"In two days, I think."

"Right, so things coming up?"

I nod. "We're having an interview thing for a gossip website."

He groans. "Really?"

"This one is special," I say. "It's a game where the interviewer asks a question, and one writes their answer down beforehand while the other writes what they think they think the answer is. Or something like that."

"So like a newlyweds game, but not we're not wed?"

"Yeah, I guess."

He nods, a small smile on his face. "Just watch me fail."

I laugh. "Okay, so a person from a Rockets Recording Studio wants to start an album with you."

He frowns, looking surprised and disbelieving at the same time. "What?"

"He went to my birthday party and he heard you sing that song you wrote. He wants to record some tracks."

He grins. "That's awesome! That's...better than awesome actually! I should have put that on the MSBL. _Be a recording artist_."

I laugh. "Yeah, Mom's pretty proud."

Another emotion passes over his face. "Do you want to write some songs with me."

I raise an eyebrow. "I'm not a songwriter."

"You're lying," he sings. "You're chewing your lip and fiddling with your ring."

I look down at my fingers and see that he's right. How does he notice so much? "I'm not very good," I say.

"So what? I'm not very good either."

I raise an eyebrow and smirk. "You're lying," I mock. "Your eyes won't focus on one place."

He widens his eyes and stares me down. "I'm not a good songwriter."

"You write them anyway." I shrug. "People are usually good at doing something they love."

"So I _am _good at kissing?" he says, wiggling his eyebrows.

I roll my eyes with a hint of a smile. "How do our conversations always revert to this topic?"

When we get to the palace, Matt grabs my hand and basically drags me to his room. "I need you to listen to something."

I nod.

Matt goes to his desk and opens a drawer, taking out a tattered Moleskine notebook. He flips through the pages and finds a certain one. He grabs a pencil and furiously scribbles something down.

"Could you get the guitar please?" he asks, still writing.

I take the classical guitar, sit on the ground and tune it for him. It's not too off-key, considering he played it on my birthday. Matt joins me on the floor and takes the guitar from me.

"I need your thoughts for this," he says. I nod and hug my knees. I love it when he sings. It's like it's just him, but at the same time it's like he's singing to you.

"The breeze is cold.  
Your soul is bold.  
You are a scattered mind at night,  
Like a fire burning bright."

I already know he's talking about me.

"And you say you'll watch me live.  
But I have nothing else to give."

My heart clenches, and I suck in a breath.

"Now tell me you'll do fine,  
With my Life on the line.  
I hope you know this doesn't mean goodbye."

I must be crying already.

"If I go, will you know?  
If I stay, will there be a price to pay?  
Because I know it will look bleak and dreary,  
But promise me that you'll see clearly.  
We have to know where to go from here.  
Don't live with fear.

"Sleep is something I dread.  
I'd rather live here than in my head.  
But things will soon change.  
I will live until I fade.  
You'll be here, safe and sound,  
While I'll be in the ground."

I bury my face in my arms, and I am indeed crying.

"Now tell me that you'll do fine,  
With my Life on the line.  
I hope you know this doesn't mean goodbye.

"If I go, will you know?  
If I stay, how long will I have until that day?  
We'll never see the end of time together.  
But our infinity still means forever."

I want him to stop, but at the same time I want him to keep going. I feel so conflicted.

"Yeah, we still have infinity.  
Infinite moments of serenity.  
Just you wait, darling.  
Wait for the moment where we're laughing.  
Don't blame the universe, but blame this ugly curse.

"Don't lose hope.  
Don't lose faith.  
Our memories won't be erased.  
We'll always have infinity.  
Yeah, we still have infinity."

Matt finishes the song with a single strum, and that seems to have sucked all of the sound in the room. "How was it?" he asks.

I look up at him and wipe the tears from my face. "Um..." I laugh, embarrassed that I'm crying. "You might want to change that last chord to a G. It sounds unfinished if it ends on a C."

He laughs and writes it down in the notebook. He puts the guitar aside. "I'm not putting that on the album. I just wanted _you _to hear it."

Matt wipes the tears on my cheeks and kisses me softly. I nearly gasp; I don't remember the last time he kissed me like this, on my mouth. He supports my back as he lays me down. One hand is on my waist, while the other is buried in my hair.

He kisses my jaw to my neck. I gasp now, and I never want this to end. He kisses a path back to my lips, and he looks in my eyes. "I love you, you know? I'm never leaving you."

_You can't guarantee that. _"I love you too."

He smiles the most imperceptible smile and kisses me again. I flip us over so I'm on top. I unbutton his shirt and reveal his strong torso. I run my hands up and down his chest, tracing the muscular lines of his abdomen. I'd never guess he's sick. He looks perfectly healthy.

Meanwhile, Matt's hand goes up and down my thigh, feeling every inch of my leg. I kiss his chest, then his stomach. I can faintly hear a groan, and our mouths collide in desperation.

There's only so much skin we can allow ourselves to touch before we cross extreme boundaries.

I kiss him so hard it hurts. Words can't explain how much I love him, how much I missed him. His hands curl into my hair, the other bunching the skirts of my short dress. He kisses my neck again, this time his lips skimming over my shoulders. He whispers my name over and over, and it astounds me once more how I keep falling in love.

His heavy breath makes adrenaline surge through me. Everything seems sharper, more acute, clearer. I'm so glad that things are finally understandable between us. I remember how confused I used to be. But now? Now we're more sure than ever.

He nudges the straps of my dress off my shoulders with his nose, and soon the entire bodice is down to my waist. His hair is so messy that I almost laugh. He turns us over so I'm now beneath him.

"Beautiful," he whispers on my bare stomach. A breath lodges in my throat when he kisses my rib. I slide his shirt off, because I want to feel his scars.

"When I die," he starts, but I cut off his words with my lips.

"Please," I whisper into his mouth.

He wordlessly nods, and we kiss into oblivion.

He's my missing half. He's the part that makes me whole. I can't lose him, or I will lose a part of myself.

* * *

**Too much? Not enough? Too cliche? Y'all are so different. I just felt like there was an overload of depressing crap so I thought eh I'll just load on the fluff before I depress everyone again.**

**Note: I start classes next Tuesday, so I'm extremely sorry if I can't update this often anymore. **

**QOTD: There is a book simulation where you can pick a book and be in it as yourself, and every character would be there and the plot would be the same if you didn't change anything major. What book would you choose?**

**Answer to previous QOTD: I don't know if I'm allowed to have a favorite line, and sometimes I think my writing is so cliche and cheesy, but sometimes my favorite words come from the nights where Matthew and Tess can't sleep. I think I like "I'm the car that keeps on going" or "Existing is not the same as living."  
**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**Maria- Glad you liked that line :) Ansel Elgort is perfect. Thanks!**

**Theoneforever- I like that line too :P Jk but thank you soooo much! Every word? Not every word in my story makes sense, but thank you soooo much! **

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Aw "too difficult" :P Thanks! Lol Gatorade. That's the stuff. I actually like tea and coffee. Definitely water. Water is Life. Thank you so much!**

**Kiren- I like hiking :) I would normally do a baby gender contest, but in this case, the baby's gender is essential. I don't know if I'm making it a girl or a boy. Whatever happens happens! Thank you!**

**going for the win- I would probably forget the parachute :P Thanks so much!**

**Guest- Hahahaha I literally laughed out loud. "I look in the mirror and my ass is ginormous." Ew and old Kim XD Sounds great! Thanks so much! I'm glad SOMEONE liked the ending quotes :P**

**Please-and-Thankyou's- Those sound like awesome quotes!...But I was kinda asking what quotes you liked from my stories...Sorry to be selfish, but I was curious. Um, yeah. Thanks!**

**PokemonLuver151- *thumbs up* Thank you!**

**dakotamo- I don't want my story to be a carbon copy of _TFiOS _but sometimes I can't help it if he sounds a bit like Augustus :P Sorry. Glad you like my story! Thank you so much!**

**Guest- Haha okay, so I guess you're not THAT much older than I am :P I kinda like that line too :) Thanks so much!**

**LittleMissTori- OH MY GAWD I HAVE NEVER WANTED TO BE IN NYC SO BADLY. So pissed. So happy you like my lines :) Thanks so much!**

**winterprincess- Matthew realized that Gerad had familial restrictive cardiomyopathy. :P Aw I actually like those lines too. Sometimes my writing is kinda average/mediocre at best, but others it's just baaaad. Ugh. Consistency is not a trait of mine. Thank you so much!**

**lilythemermaid- Haha you don't have to do that! IAN SOMERHALDER YASSSS. And Dylan O'Brien...I wish you could put those heart-eyed emojis on here -_- Darn. But yeah. There's a pic where Ansel and Dylan meet and they're in the same picture. How does one photograph hold that much attractiveness and the website doesn't explode? Like, whaaat? Haha that's not an option. That's funny, O. Reeeal funny ;) LALOL**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	30. Chapter 29

_Matthew's POV_

"I'm surprised we got a tie for the game," I say.

Tess laughs. "Why are you surprised? I'd be more surprised if we both lost."

We have just finished the interview for the "Nearly Newlyweds Game", and Tess and I both missed three questions about each other.

"In all fairness," I say, "how was I supposed to know your favorite fashion designer is Constantino Mirragio?"

"It's Mirragiano," she corrects, smirking. "And besides, how would I know your favorite pizza topping is pineapple? I didn't even know you liked pizza."

"Why don't I know anything about you?" I cry in outrage.

She laughs. "You missed _three_ questions."

"The other ones were easy."

"You somehow knew my favorite kind of coffee is a decaf hazelnut macchiato with skim milk."

"And you somehow knew my favorite was an Americano?"

We both laugh. "Do you want a normal day today," I ask, "or adventurous? We could go out."

"Matthew, the bachelorette party last night was_ crazy_," she replies, putting a hand to her head. "I swear, I'm still hungover. I kind of want to work out for a bit."

"Okay, I'll go write some songs."

She nods. "You alright?" She's been asking this question almost nonstop since I came back from the hospital. I mean, it was pretty scary for me too, but it gets a bit annoying after a while.

So I say my usual answer. "Yeah."

I go to my room while she goes to hers.

Writing songs have been a really nice stress reliever. It's a musical catharsis for me, and I can finally put my thoughts into lyrics into melodies. The deeper thoughts take form in slow beats and minor chords, and the more upbeat ones are more fast-paced. I get my old Moleskine notebook and find the random lyrics I've been writing.

_"Who knows what will happen with you and me? Things are so crazy."_

_"We're a long, long way from home. Where are we? Nobody knows. But I have an idea."_

_"I can see all the stars in your eyes."_

_"Love is like an open flame. It promises hope, desire, and some pain."_

The others are a bit pathetic, and I admit, some of these are about Tess. When I first met her, she was really damn frustrating. I don't know why, but it just pissed me off how she would shove her relationship with Michael. I mean, it's different now. I'm engaged to her, and my brother is gone.

My brother's gone.

I write new lyrics down.

_"Sometimes I feel like you're still here. But I remember that we're all alone."_

I spend the next thirty minutes playing random chords on the guitar, singing spontaneous melodies.

_"Shreds of insanity are what's left of me."_

Why do I feel so bored? I just don't get it anymore. I feel purposeless. I feel...dead already.

Maybe Dr. Gemini was right. Maybe I should go to that support group. Nobody in this palace knows what I'm going through. They don't understand that my heart feels like a rotten, useless organ because it can't work properly. They don't get that every step I take is like trying to climb a mountain.

I remember that movie I watched with Tess, where the two characters have cancer. They met at a support group. It looked depressing as hell to watch, but at least people knew how you felt.

I just don't feel the satisfaction of pitying myself and seeing people pitying me and trying to empathize with me. It's so pointless. It's like Life; so damn pointless. I don't see why we're even here. I know because of Original Sin and Bible stuff and Adam and Eve and their shitty mistake, but seriously, it's like God left us to fend for ourselves. You got a disease? Well, that sucks for you._  
_

I'm going to the support group. I think there's one at five o'clock, and it's four thirty right now. I'll make it.

I wear a blue polo shirt, khaki shorts, and sneakers. I wonder how unrecognizable I can make myself look. My hair's not gelled, but that might not be enough. I wear a dark hooded sweatshirt, even though it's blisteringly hot outside. _Sunglasses. _Yeah. I get my wayfarer shades concealing my distinct blue eyes.

Okay. That's probably good enough.

I run out to my car, not bothering to tell anyone I'm leaving. Like I said, it's pointless.

When I get to the hospital, I'm glad to see there are no photographers. Then again, they could be in the bushes. I use the public parking lot and casually use the stairs to get to the sixth floor. I don't believe in no exercise. I'm not using the elevator. Only when I'm truly dying and desperate will I use a machine to do something I'm entirely capable of.

I reach the top of the stairs, and I'm a bit winded, but after taking deep breaths, I'm good. I find the correct room, and inside are chairs set up in a circle. Several people occupy the chairs, and I expect to find some cancer kids, like in the movie, but there aren't any. It makes me wonder if there is a separate group for them or it's so treatable that they don't need a support group anymore.

There's a lady that approaches me, a bit older than I am, and she smiles. "Are you new here?" she asks.

I nod.

"Please, take a seat." She gestures to a plastic chair. "Are the lights too bright for you?"

I realize I'm still wearing my sunglasses. I don't know what would be more suspicious, wearing sunglasses indoors or the prince in a support group. I shake my head and take them off.

After a few minutes, the lady closes the door to the hall. "Welcome everyone," she says. "My name is Violet, and welcome to the cardiac support group."

Ah, so there's a specific group for my kind of people. I nearly laugh at myself. I'm so pathetic.

"I don't believe in the point of telling people what disease you have," Violet continues. I like this lady. "So you can just introduce yourselves and tell your age, if you'd like. Say your hobbies, that kind of thing, and your wishes, et cetera."

A girl with long brown hair stands. She smiles so brightly that you'd think she's not another normal, healthy person. "I'm Karina," she says, giving a little wave. "I'm eighteen, and I love doing yoga. It's really relaxing, and I want to be a yoga trainer and stuff."

She sits down and the next girl stands. Her blond hair is pulled back in a tight bun. "Um, I'm Juno Gemini."

_Juno...Where have I heard that name before? _

I suddenly remember Dr. Gemini talking about his daughter, and her name is Juno.

"I'm nineteen. I like going to parties and just being crazy," she says, gesticulating wildly, her eyes bright with enthusiasm. Her eyes land on me for a while, then she continues. "I wish I could start drinking again, because there's a certain thrill in drinking alcohol, and it's not just the inebriated buzz you naturally get. It's not the same drinking carbonated apple juice pretending it's champagne."

These people really get me.

A man goes next, probably around my age too. Everyone's almost the same age here. There's no concentrated group of older people. I feel like I'm in a clear pond.

A boy goes next, and he flips his shoulder-length hair over his shoulders. "I'm Wayne," he says, as if he's larger than life. "I'm twenty-one. I like surfing, and I want to be really famous."

I want tell this guy so badly that being well-known has its pitfalls.

It's finally my turn, and I stand, keeping my head and voice low. "I'm Matt," I say. "I like playing the guitar and violin, and I want to live my Life as a normal, healthy, ordinary person."

I see Wayne smirk a bit, and not in the cute way Tess does.

The entire circle finishes, and Violet says, "Do we have any thoughts we want to share?"

A guy, Adrian, raises a hand. "I believe that we're all here for a reason. Not just to die out with this horrible disease."

"But what is that purpose?" Victor says. "Some of us are born with these diseases. Why are we here anyway if we're just going to die?"

"I think that it's a test," says Ava. "I think that we're meant to do something with our Lives. We're all capable of greatness."

We nod to think on that.

"What do you think dying will be like?" Leonardo says absentmindedly. "Do you think it will hurt?"

"I think it's going to be dark for a while, then you'd see a flash of light," says Juno. "Then we'd see the gates of Heaven, or wherever we're supposed to go, then we'd see the face of God."

"I think we're going to be reincarnated," says Karina. "I've been living my Life as a good person, so I believe I will live my next Life as a powerful deity."

No one says anything for a while, trying to decide what they believe in. I'm thinking of what Juno has in mind. It's similar to what I assume would happen after the end of Life.

"Before I was diagnosed," I say, speaking for the first time, "I spent my time reading books because I wanted to live someone else's Life. I didn't spend enough time with my family, and now I'm thinking how stupid I am for wasting precious minutes."

Juno smiles at me sympathetically. "I know what that feels like," she says. "When my dad found out, he was so shattered that night. I felt so bad, because I felt like it was my fault. But then I got to thinking 'Hey, this isn't your fault. Whatever happens, happens. God will take care of you.'"

This girl is surprisingly religious considering the fact her name is of a Roman goddess's. But that's Greek mythology, the key word there being _myth. _

"I don't want to die because I don't want my parents to be left with nothing," I say.

"Are you an only child?" Leonardo asks. He's quite inquisitive, but they're questions worth answering.

I shake my head. "No, I have younger siblings, but, uh, my older brother passed away a few months ago."

"That must be hard," notes Victor, and everyone else nods, like they understand. But the thing is, they do understand. They get it.

"It's funny," Karina says, nearly smiling. "When you guys walked in here, your auras were very gray and dingy. But now, I sense purple because of these spiritual thoughts."

"Can you really see auras?" Leonardo says. Karina nods excitedly, glad that someone is paying attention.

"I wish I could eat something," Victor says glumly.

Karina gasps. "Keep the red aura away from affecting everyone! Your materialistic thoughts will change everyone's minds."

But it's too late. Everyone's talking about how they actually miss being hungry. I don't think I could miss a meal. I guess I'm too food-obsessed to experience that symptom. I cook, I bake, I eat...Not dealing with food would be like not walking. You just have to do it.

"Hey, we should bring the newcomer to the Diner," Juno says optimistically. "I mean, we can all share a plate of fries or something because I'm actually hungry."

I grin. "Same here."

"Okay, don't rub it in, guys," Victor says, but his smile convinces me that he's kidding.

So a minute later, we stack up the plastic chairs and start our walk to Debby's Diner. The sun's out, and it's sunny, and frankly, I don't remember the last time I walked to somewhere.

I sort of keep to myself as we walk, staying at the back of the group. My sunglasses are on, hood is up, no one will know I'm the prince bound to die.

However, a figure slows her pace and sidles beside me. "Hey," Juno says. "You okay there?"

The least I can do is look at her. I nod.

"You don't talk much, do you?" she asks.

I shrug.

"Well, I'm Juno," she says, and she sticks out her hand.

I can't remember the last time I shook a girl's hand as a way of greeting. But she doesn't know who I am, so I shake her hand. "I'm Matt," I say.

"Yeah, I know," she says, laughing a bit. "We kind of introduced ourselves in there."

I grin. "You introduced yourself in there too."

"Yeah, I know."

I chuckle.

"So you play instruments, huh?" she asks, and we reach the diner. She opens the door for me, and again, I'm surprised. I mumble a thank you to her and walk inside.

The Diner's small and homey. Cracked red vinyl seats and black and white tiles give it a cozy feeling. There's even a vintage record player at the end of the metal counter, and Adrian sets down a record. The room fills with loud, smooth music, and...ah, the smell of fried stuff. I love it.

The support group shares occupies an entire booth, and I sit next to Juno.

"Yeah, I play instruments," I say, answering her question.

She nods, almost approvingly. "So do you, like, write stuff?"

"Um, kind of."

"I bet you already have a record deal waiting for you."

I smile, because she's right. "Nah, I'm more of a busker. Or those open mic things." I've never been to one, but it would be so great to see potential musicians who just want a chance.

"Really?" Juno says, smiling. "I love those things. Oh, don't get me started on poetry slams. Mm, those are the best."

"Poetry slams?" I say, grinning now. "Those sound even more fun."

"Oh, yeah, definitely," she says. "Do you go to one with me?"

I nearly frown and refuse straight up. "I have a, uh, girlfriend," I say. Nineteen-year-old guys aren't usually engaged unless they're royalty, so it's probably best to not tell her I'm engaged to Tess, the princess of Italy no less.

She waves her hand, as if I was silly for even thinking she was asking me out. "I'm not asking you out for a date, dude."

Whoa, nobody in my Life, _ever_, has called me _dude. _It's so weird. Peculiarity is the theme of the day it seems.

"Besides," Juno says, "I have a boyfriend."

So I tilt my head in confusion. "So, why do you want to bring me to an outing?"

"Because you actually get what I'm going through," she says. She nods her head to the rest of the group, laughing and jeering at each other while they eat curly fries. I take one, because I've actually never eaten a curly fry. It's soggy and salty and _nothing _like anything the palace would prepare.

But at the same time, it tastes so good. It represents the freedom I've just granted myself.

"Have you told your girlfriend about your, um, disease?" Juno says, breaking me apart from my thoughts.

I nod. "Yeah, I did. She's taking it better than I expected, but sometimes she overdoses on the 'Are you okay?' part."

Juno nods, a sympathetic smile on her face. "Ah, I_ totally_ get what you're saying. My boyfriend, Owen, started getting my water for me _all _the time. I'm like, 'Dude, I'm sick, but that doesn't mean I can't get it myself. It's just a fucking water.'"

I laugh. "I mean, at the same time, it's really nice and thoughtful," I say.

She nods. "Yeah, I'm glad there are people out there at least making an effort to go through what you're going through, even when they don't understand completely."

"How long has it been since you were diagnosed?" I ask.

She shrugs. "I dunno. Two years maybe? And I probably have a year left, give or take."

It makes me cringe when she talks about it so carelessly. I realize this is what I've been doing the entire time.

"Hey, will you come to my funeral?" she asks, sounding genuinely excited about it.

I grimace for a millisecond then I nod with a smile. "Yeah, of course."

She checks her watch. "Shit, my mom wanted me home thirty minutes ago. Um, here's the address to the cafe with _awesome_ poetry slams." She grabs a napkin and pulls out a pen from the pocket of her cutoff shorts. "I'll meet you tomorrow at eight? Oh, and feel free to bring your girlfriend. You know, if she's into poetry and stuff."

I try to remember when the wedding is, but I'm pretty sure it's not until another two days. "Yeah, sure. See you there."

"See ya, Matt," she says, smiling. She waves to the rest of the group. "See ya later, defected bitches."

"Bye, Juno," they all say.

It's so weird how she calls them "bitches" so casually, and they respond as if it's normal. I thought my home in comparison to the Palace of Versailles was warm and loose, but here, it's as if the gates are wide open and the field is vast and full of opportunities.

I bid goodbye as well, and head home. I get to the Dining Hall, and everyone's staring at me like I've already died and I've just risen from the dead.

"Matthew," my mother cries in relief, practically sprinting to me. She wraps me in a nearly suffocating hug.

"Where the hell were you, Son?" Father says.

I shrug. "I just wanted to go for a drive."

I don't know why I don't want to tell them. I'm pretty honest with my family. But it's been different since I've known my heart's condition. The truth only hurts more. If they know I went to a support group meeting, they'd think they're not doing enough to support me. They already don't understand; I don't think they'd understand this.

"You could have at least told us!" Mother says, holding me, her fingernails digging into my shoulders.

"Mother, calm down. I was only gone for, what, an hour?"

"Ames," Father says, trying to soothe my worried mother. I shrug while that's going on, and take my seat next to Tess.

She gapes at me like I'm a ghost. Shit, did I die already? No, I feel like I would have known.

"So you just left?" she says.

I shrug and nod, and she shakes her head. "You went for a drive?" she asks. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah!" I say enthusiastically. "I'm better than fine, actually. Hey, you want to go to a poetry slam tomorrow?"

Tess frowns. "A poetry slam? You're into that stuff?"

"Come on, they'll have coffee."

She considers it for a moment, and the gears of her brain always work perfectly. She grins. "As long as your parents know this time. Mom was getting worked up, and she was more than willing to send the entire national guard to find you."

I laugh. "That's hilarious."

"Aren't you going to eat?" she asks, gesturing to the venison.

I smile. "I'm not hungry. I had a light snack before getting here."

"Matthew, please, I hope you're lying. You're _always _hungry."

"I ate a decent amount of curly fries, but I might have some later."

Worry and concern fill her eyes as she goes back to eating venison. "You know a lack of appetite is a symptom."

I'm really not that hungry because I'm pretty sure I finished three-fourths of the fries, but I take a small piece of meat just to satisfy her. I'm glad actually; it tastes amazing.

"It's good," I say, grabbing some salad.

"Matthew Schreave," Tess says, a deadly tone to her voice, "you're eating salad."

"Because I'm an omnivore?"

"Are you really okay?"

"Yes, love. Get your shit together."

She frowns. "That's a first."

Keeping secrets from my parents prove to be easy. Keeping secrets from Tess is a different thing altogether.

* * *

**So that was really long. Just a heads up cuz I might not be able to update in a while. Orientation's on Friday T_T I'm going to get lost on campus. "AcademicGirl dies on campus because the older, bigger people crushed her 5-foot self." Soooo yeah. **

**QOTD: What is your favorite fast food and "fancy" food?**

**Answer to previous QOTD: _The Selection_ or _Harry Potter_. I have to pick between being a princess or a witch, sexy Maxon Schreave or The Boy Who Lived, rebels or Voldemort and Death Eaters, a palace and a castle with weird staircases, Natalie or Luna Lovegood, Celeste or Draco Malfoy...Tbh the only reason I want to be in _The Selection _is to meet Maxon. Like, ladies, come on. Who the hell does not want to meet Maxon? Or even Aspen? I'm assuming he's hot soooo...**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**Athenachild101- Eh, age is just a number :) Thanks for reviewing!**

**Please-and-Thankyou's- Yeah, sorry, I didn't mean to be self-absorbed, but those quotes you picked are lovely. And kiss ass? Girl, I'd pick _The Selection _any day just to meet Maxon and America :) I even want to meet Celeste. Thanks so much!**

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- I'm glad you liked that chapter :) It's so weird to write a kissing scene sometimes :P Yeah, updating's tough sometimes when people keep egging you on to keep updating. It's like "DUDE, I'm trying my best. Keep your shit together." Sooo yeah :) Thanks so much!**

**selectionprincess59- Ooh is _The Distance Between Us _good? I heard it's good. Should I read it? Thanks for reviewing!**

**Theoneforever- Obvi, duh :P Glad you liked that chapter :) Thanks so much!**

**Maria- Oooooh _Divergent. _I think I'd be born into Erudite (my parents are doctors), and I'd choose Erudite. So yeah :) What faction would you be born in and what would you choose? Thanks so much!**

**KhrystineR- Haha fattening. Just like chocolate (yet I continue to eat it). Yeah, books are great :) Thanks so much!**

**lilythemermaid- It was gorgeous, wasn't it? Yasss midget ninja FTW! Haha, O, I could almost imagine the intense stare encased by your tortoise-shell Versace glasses :P Haha awww you're rereading it. That makes me so happy :D Thank you so much! Mwah, LALOL**

**Kiren- Yeah, classes start Tuesday. Sigh. I kinda like school, though; it gives me purpose. Try _Graceling_; the girl doesn't want a boyfriend :) Thanks so much!**

**winterprincess- Haha eh, it's a lot of technical medical stuff. I kinda don't get it myself, but oh well :) Hahaha the ending scene. Idk the answer to your question; _was_ it the chapter or _you_ that was hot? :P Is the Iron Fey good? It sounds interesting. Thanks so much!**

**fantasybookgirl- I'm glad you liked the song cuz I wrote it :P I'm not a great songwriter, but I try. I really wish you guys could hear it. :) Oooh Gallagher Girls. I would make a badass spy (not really; I can't keep secrets, I'm TERRIBLE). Thanks so much!**

**dakotamo- Hot and heavy ;) Glad you loved it! Thank you so much!**

**bubble4life- Yeah, I think I'd be a daughter of Athena or Apollo :) Who among the gods would be your parent? Thanks for reviewing!**

**Guest- I won't _make _Matt die, so to speak :P And I'm so happy you love my story! Thank you so much!**

**SJWrites2014- Ooooh intense and passionate. I love it :) Thank you so much!**

**ilona18- Glad you loved it! Thanks so much!**

**PokemonLuver151- Yeah, so many books, what to choose? Lol thanks so much!**

**LittleMissTori- Ahhhh glad you loved it! Yeah, I have never wanted to go to Pacha so much before. I didn't even know what it was until I knew Ansel Elgort would be there. And someone got to have a private Skype call! Wtf?! Haha yeah, fangirls...Thank you so much!**

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**PrincessIndia- New reviewer! Awwww thank yoooou! I'm so glad you like my writing! I actually got a review for the first story saying it gave the reader a headache, but I'm kinda like "whatev I have other amazing people" (like you). Thank you so much!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	31. Chapter 30

_Tess's POV_

We arrive at the Java Bean Café at seven fifty-eight for the poetry slam. I have no idea what made Matt think of coming to a poetry slam. Just another thing for the MSBL? Maybe he desperately wants to hear "words of wisdom"? Or maybe he wants to see random people see him as another random person?

There are so many possibilities.

I'm wearing jean shorts and a cute ruffled tank top. I still have to make an effort to make my identity unknown, so I'm wearing my hair in a ponytail. Matt makes it look so easy to fit in. He's wearing khaki shorts and a button down, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He refuses to admit it, but he's so preppy.

Matt leads me inside the dim Café. The smell of coffee lingers in the air like petrichor. They sell baked goods too, and fragrances of sweet tarts and chocolate chip cookies seep through the scent of coffee like crepuscular rays.

I inhale it all, wanting to commit it to memory.

"You hungry, love?" Matt asks, smiling as we walk to the counter.

"It smells amazing," I say. "You can't deny it."

"I'll have a decaf Americano please," he tells the barista. "And a Chai Tea Latte for the lady."

The barista nods and gets to work with our drinks after Matt pays. I turn to Matt. "How'd you—?"

"I know you don't like drinking coffee at night," he says, as if he just said something as basic as one plus one equals two.

I smile, and I think of how well he knows me. It's almost like we share a mind; my thoughts are open to him and vice versa.

Matt grins at me. "Why are you staring? Do I have a nose hair sticking out or something?" He makes a big show of flaring his nostrils.

I laugh. "No, I'm just thinking about how lucky I am."

He rolls his eyes, and I know he's going to pretend he doesn't know what I'm talking about when it's actually the opposite. "Tess, it's just _coffee."_

It's my turn to roll my eyes, and while waiting for our beverages, a person says on the mic, "Welcome to our weekly poetry slam! Thanks so much for coming out to see all of these amazing people. Our first poet is a man who calls himself Anonymously Anonymous."

"Ugh, Michael would hate that name," Matt says, getting our drinks from the counter. He gives me my latte, and I love how it's warm but not too much so that it burns my tongue. Of course, Matthew's is piping hot, just how he likes it.

"Why would Michael hate it?" I ask. We find a comfortable leather couch, and I pull my feet up.

"He hates redundancies."

I laugh, glad that we can talk about Michael without a twinge of longing and sadness.

Then someone says, "Matt!"

It's not a voice I recognize. And if I've heard it before, I'm sure I would know who it is. It's not an easily forgettable voice. It's a girl's voice for sure, but there's something characteristic about it. It's like there's a little spring when she says a word, like her voice is dancing.

Matt stands and turns around, a smile breaking on his face. "Hey," he says, greeting this girl I do not know.

I stand as well, and I see a girl that's probably our age. There's a taller boy a little behind her, his arms crossed in an effort to look cool. The girl looks to be five feet and nine inches, if you take away her two-inch heeled boots. I don't think I've ever felt short next to a girl. She wears a flowing teal skirt that's shorter in the front than it is in the back. Her shirt is cream-colored and lacy, and I feel weird for not dressing up more.

Her blond hair seems radiant, even in the dim lighting. It falls around her bright, freckled face. Her blue eyes spotted with splatters of brown are luminous and crinkled at the edges from smiling.

She gives Matt a quick hug, but for some reason it doesn't bother me. Why doesn't it bother me? Am I just not attracted to Matthew enough anymore? I take one look at him, and I think _No, that's not it. _Do I just not get jealous anymore because I'm so secure about my standing with him?

"So glad you could come!" the girl says brightly. She turns to me next, and I immediately smile from seeing her grin. "Hey, I'm Juno Gemini," she says, giving me a hug too. "You must be Matt's girlfriend."

I nod, still smiling, even though I'm more than his girlfriend. "That's right. Where did you meet him?"

"Oh, I met him at—"

"A diner when I went driving around last night," Matt says quickly.

Juno frowns, a confused smile spreading on her face. "Um, sorry, Matt, but I don't believe in hiding things from your significant other." She turns to me. "I met Matt at cardiac support group yesterday."

I turn to Matt, frowning. "Support group, huh?" I never wanted to dislike her, to start with, but now that I know she's like Matt in this sense, I don't want to dislike her at all.

Matt looks at her with a resigned expression. The guy behind Juno says quietly to her, "Babe, I'm gonna get us our coffees. Today's Saturday so you want a cappuccino right?"

"Babe, you know me so well," she says, smiling at him. "Wait, let me introduce you first." She grabs the sleeve of his leather jacket. "Guys, this is Owen, my boyfriend."

Owen nods, a slight smile on his face, and shakes Matt's and my hands. He kisses the top of Juno's head and goes to order their drinks.

Juno walks to the leather couch where Matt and I were sitting a few moments ago, and she sits, pulling her feet up like I do. "So how long have you guys been together?" she asks, gesturing between Matt and me. Matt and I sit down, he in the middle.

"Um, ten months, I think?" Matt says.

"That's awesome," Juno says genuinely.

"How long have you been with Owen?" I ask.

She shrugs. "Five years, I think. No big deal."

A feeling almost like jealousy surrounds me like a shroud. I wish Matt and I had more time. I wish I knew him sooner, earlier. I take a sip of my tea latte, both of my hands around the cup.

"Congrats!" Juno says. "I didn't know you two were getting married."

I look at my finger, as if I didn't know the ring was there, and Juno waves her hand. "I get it, what with Matt's condition and all. Owen and I were thinking about the same thing, but I thought 'Hell, it's pointless when I have a year left.' I couldn't do that to Owen."

"So you two met at support group?" I ask, trying to mask my sadness.

"Yeah, I'm assuming Matt didn't tell anyone." Juno looks at Owen, who has their drinks in hand, and she stands. "I'll be back."

Matt seems to be lost in his head, no doubt thinking about what Juno said. "Hey," I say, putting my hand on his. His conflicted blue eyes turn to me for a millisecond, then he stands and reaches a hand out for my empty cup. I give it to him, because I really don't want to argue.

He sits down next to me, closer this time to make room for Juno and Owen. He wordlessly puts an arm around me, and I cuddle his warm body. "Time seems to be the real enemy," he mumbles.

"And our next poet," the announcer says for the ongoing poetry slam, "our Saturday night regular, Juno Gemini."

I look up at Matt. "Gemini?" I ask.

He nods. "Yeah, my doctor's daughter."

It makes sense all of a sudden, why that man treats people with heart problems. He doesn't want any parent to go through what he has to.

Juno's smile is still luminescent as she grabs the mic. "I call this one 'Substantial.'" She inhales and exhales twice; a ritual, I'm guessing.

"Stars dance. Pain is felt. I'm still okay. Can't you tell? I see the results. What the hell? One more year, you say. I can't live this way. Trees sway. Grass grows. Time slows. People come and go. But I'm being irrational. There is nothing to live for, nothing Substantial."

It's short but meaningful, and I wonder if people know what she's talking about. Juno does a little curtsy, and I start to clap when the fellow poetry slammers snap their fingers. Matt laughs at me, and I laugh at myself for being so clueless.

"It's poetry, love," he says.

I roll my eyes, yet I feel a small smile on my lips. I expected this girl to love parties and clubs and things like that. Not poetry slams. But poetry must be her own catharsis, while Matt's is music.

Juno joins Owen, Matt, and me again. "That was so good," I say.

She shrugs, but she smiles appreciatively. She sits on the couch and says, "I'm so happy that there isn't a curfew anymore."

I smile, feeling lucky that I know the people that put that rule into place. "Yeah, the king and queen are pretty cool with that," I say, and Matt squeezes my hand.

"I mean, we get to go to night clubs and parties now," she says. Her eyes widen and brighten even more. "Hey, my friend is throwing a rager."

I frown. "A rager?"

"Yeah, you know, a wild party," Juno says. "There'll be alcohol, but you and I can drink carbonated apple juice right? It'll be fun."

Owen says, "Babe, is it at Gia's house?"

Juno nods. "So, what? You two coming or not?"

I'm so sure I can see in Matt's eyes that he's mentally putting this in his MSBL. I feel like I owe more to him.

So I say, "Yeah, sure, let's go."

* * *

_Tess's POV_

The house party is a stark difference from the Café. It smelled like java beans there, while it smells like cheap booze and sweat here. The bass is pumping loud, and the only similarity I can find is the dim ambiance.

People greet Juno with smiles and hugs, and a dull thought strikes me—she's popular. She gets lost in the crowd, and Matt and I are left to fend for ourselves in the sea of people.

"So what was that about carbonated apple juice?" I ask him.

He looks distracted, and almost bewildered. "She knows my alcohol struggles," he says dully.

It disheartens me to know that another girl understands him in ways that I can't.

"Hey, cool necklace," a girl says, pointing at my collarbone.

I instinctively touch it. "Thanks," I say, and I tuck it under my shirt.

I feel uncomfortable with this many people surrounding us. I feel like I'm underwater and smothered in algae and seaweed. People are drinking, kissing, dancing. It's insanity and chaos under a roof. I cling to Matt like a burr, and he reassuringly squeezes my hand. I love that he knows when I'm feeling uneasy.

We find Juno talking to a group of girls, and Matt says, "Hey, we're going to be heading home."

Juno salutes to us, and Matt and I leave.

We're on the road, and I can tell Matt's distracted. "What is it?" I ask.

He shrugs. "Just thinking."

"Do you want to elaborate?"

He doesn't say anything for a while. "This might be a weird topic, but do you really want children?"

It is a strange question, but I take it to heart. "Of course, Matthew," I say intently, looking at the way the lights from other cars cling to his cheekbones like dewdrops. "I love you."

"I love you too," he says, but it's odd, the way he says it. It's...halfhearted, and that's very unlike him. "It's just...our kids could get this disease. And _we_ would be the ones suffering."

"But if we're ever going to rule this country, heirs will be required of us."

He nods sullenly, then he smiles impishly. I don't want to let him change the topic so easily into a joke, but I let him. "Is this your sad excuse to want to make love to me?" he asks, going up the driveway to the palace.

I bark a laugh. "You're so full of yourself."

"You just want to sleep with all this goodness," he says, wiggling his eyebrows and turning off the engine.

I roll my eyes, but the mere thought of doing "it" makes my face heat up, like someone has put a candle near my face. Matt goes to my door and opens it for me.

He smirks. "You're blushing."

"It's summer," I say pathetically. "It's hot."

When I step out of the car, he tosses me over his shoulder like a rag doll. I yelp and squeal. "Matthew!"

* * *

_Matthew's POV_

All day, I've been thinking that something's going to happen tomorrow at the wedding. It's a weird hunch that sticks in my mind like permanent glue. I can't stop thinking about it. Usually my thoughts would be on how pretty Tess is or how soon I'm going to die, but the strange premonition occupies my mind. I was so distracted a while ago that I didn't even know I was following Owen's car to the party. Why the hell would I go otherwise?

I need a distraction. I hate to be using Tess as a distraction again, but nothing holds my attention like she does.

We're on my bed now after I hauled her from the driveway and told my parents we're home. She lies beneath me, running her fingers through my hair. It sends a quiver down my spine, and I kiss a soft spot below her ear. Her gentle exhale sinks me into a deeper daze. She pulls my lips back to hers. Her mouth on mine is like a drug that I can't stop taking over and over again. She faintly tastes like tea and sugar. The scent that clings to her is sweet and fresh, like a crisp winter breeze.

_Why are we kissing again? Oh, yeah, the wedding tomorrow. What's happening at the wedding? _

I turn off my thoughts like a light.

Tess's hands slip under the hem of my shirt, touching my scars. They're more soothing than any medication I've ever used. Her fingers press on my shoulder blade, and I nearly shudder. I run my hand up and down her thigh, liking the way goosebumps meet my palm. My other hand is buried deep in her soft wavy hair.

I paint pictures on her neck with my lips, and she whispers my name like a plea. She frantically takes off my shirt, and I toss it on the floor. She runs her hands up and down my chest, the fingers of her right hand lingering over my pacemaker. She pulls me down a little to give a delicate kiss on my newest scar.

She looks in my eyes for a moment, hers being so dark that I can see my reflection in them. Her eyes have always had a metaphoric meaning to me. I see myself in them, because she reflects me and understands me in ways nobody can._  
_

"I love you, you know," she whispers. I brush my lips against hers, and I can feel the slightest tremor.

"I'll never get tired of hearing that," I reply. The tips of my fingers touch the small sliver of skin her shirt reveals. She's so delicate, yet so strong.

But still, I wonder whether or not she is strong enough to handle my death.

* * *

**So, uh, something's going to happen at the wedding. **

**And I wanted to write this Messy scene from Matt's POV because I feel like I've never done that. So, yeah. **

**QOTD: If Matthew lives long enough to reach his wedding night, whose POV do you want it to be for "that" scene where they're doing "it"? I mean, I really don't care whose POV it is, and Matt's probably going to die before that, but I'm still curious as to what your opinion is.**

**Answer to previous QOTD: I think my favorite fast food is the Doritos Tacos at Taco Bell. They're so damn good. My favorite "fancy" food is filet mignon. Mmm. I also really love meatloaf and goetta. Mmm goetta. **

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**LittleMissTori- Well, Tess found out :) And she's not mad. The mention of Chinese food made me think of fried rice :P Ikr! Why can't I get a private Skype call?! Lol thanks so much!**

**Kiren- I'm not that into fast food myself. The mere thought of McDonald's makes me want to throw up, but when my family goes there, I get the Southern Style chicken sandwich because it only has 230 calories :) And I ship Shansel. Sooo much. Also I like Shailene and Miles. They're so cool. Just as friends, though, like Jennifer Lawrence and Josh Hutcherson, if you get what I mean. Thanks so much!**

**Prnamber3909- Haha Juno's my soul sister :P Thanks so much!**

**Athenachild101- Mmm chocolate cheesecake. That sounds sooo good right now. Thanks so much!**

**bubble4life- Oh, Mexican food :P Yeah, I like Doritos Tacos if you didn't see above :P Thanks so much!**

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Haha what a weird coincidence. Yeah, I might just end up using a map :/ Hahahaha I love cussing too :P It just makes me feel so alive! :P And nah, you're not being weird. Thank you so much!**

**dakotamo- Ooh Wendy's. I'm suddenly in the mood :P OMG I love Olive Garden and Carrabba's. I literally had Olive Garden for lunch yesterday. And I love Juno too! :P Thanks so much!**

**selectionprincess59- I'll give it a read when I have time :) Thanks for reviewing!**

**LovableL101- I like sushi :) And yeah, I'm glad Matty boy is spending time with "his people". Thanks so much!**

**Guest- I love Subway. I'm obsessed with it. Thanks for reviewing!**

**PokemonLuver151- Haha chicken. What a classic. Not obsessed at all? Please tell me you're being sarcastic! Haha I'm such a Potterhead. Thanks so much!**

**TooTiredToType/GloryToTheWind- New reviewer! Aw thanks for writing three reviews and following/favoriting (I didn't which one you did)! And yep, I wrote that song. Awful, yeah? It has its own melodies and stuff and every song thing I put here is legit from my own mind :P Thank you so much!**

**winterprincess- Tess found out after a day :P Oooh scallops are verrry fancy :) I love them so much. Ooh romance you say? I might have to give this series a read ;) Thanks so much!**

**fantasybookgirl- I love chocolate. It's, like, a fetish. #chocolatefetish should be a thing :) I think #coffeefetish is a thing. I totally have that. Yup. I love food. Deal with it. I'm glad you liked that chapter! Thanks so much!**

**lilythemermaid- Juno is the part of me I can't be at home. Can't party, say bad words, yeeeah. Glad you love her, though! Thank you so much! LALOL**

**Guest/WinteryRose- Hahaha "Juno kisses me one last time, and I die. Bye, Tess *evil smile*" That's the mother of all plot twists :P Not really. I might have more coming up :) I literally had Olive Garden yesterday for lunch haha. Thanks so much! **

**SelectionLoverForever- Haha ugh McDonald's. The mere thought of it almost makes me shudder. I get their Southern Style chicken because it has 230 calories :D Yeah, the wedding talk might come soon. Haha "off with his head" Marie Antoinette style. Hehe that's funny cuz Alex is French :P BRING OUT THE GUILLOTINE! Lol thank you so much!**

**SJWrites2014- Hahaha they're still really clever, though. Thank you so much!**

**ilona18- Ugh Juno from Heroes of Olympus. Don't get me started. *whispers behind hand* What a bitch. Thank you so much!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	32. Chapter 31

_Matthew's POV_

Tie, suit, shiny black shoes, gelled hair, shaved face. Okay, nothing wrong yet.

I pick Tess up from her room where she has been changing, as we are driving to the church together. When I open the door, I expect her to look like her magnificent self, but she completely surpasses my expectations. Her hair is piled on top of her head with some loose curls framing her lightly made-up face, a tiara adorning everything else. The theme for the wedding is green, and I've actually never seen Tess wear an actual green dress. It's more like an emerald color that shimmers into shades of yellow.

I smile. "Princess Tess, you look marvelous," I say in a haughty British accent.

"Why, Prince Matthew," she says, following suit accent-wise, "you look quite dapper yourself."

I extend my arm for her, and she takes it. "I honestly don't remember the last time you wore a suit," she says.

"And I don't remember the last you wore a floor-length dress either."

"I think it was my birthday last time either of those things happened."

My mind drifts back to that night. I've never sung in front of an entire crowd. It was exhilarating and nerve-wracking. I mean, if I was a guest and I wasn't me, I'd be thinking _What?! The crown prince is a singer?_

The crown prince is a Singer. Yes, that's true.

As we drive to the church, I still can't help but think that something is going to go awry. I drive like I've never driven before—carefully. I watch every stoplight, every car approaching. I have to keep Tess safe.

But a nagging feeling in my mind is telling that she isn't the one going to get hurt.

"Matt, you're distracted again," Tess says, breaking me from the nervous feeling in my stomach.

I swallow. "I'm fine. Completely fine."

"Please, just tell me the truth." It almost sounds like she's begging. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I say, waving it aside. "Don't worry about me, love." I take her hand in mine, just to assure her that I'm okay.

God, the panic is eating away at me. I can feel my heartbeat speeding up, and I try my best to keep it calm. Paranoia is usually Tess's thing. She thinks about every possibility.

I refuse to think of what might happen. Maybe I'm being ridiculous. This is just a five-minute phase. Yeah. As soon as I get to the church, everything will be fine. My sister will get married happily, and then they're going to ride off into the sunset and go into hiding because Alexa is fucking pregnant. I don't think that will ever sit correctly with me.

We reach the church, and it's a frenzy of people and cameras. Ah, the paparazzi. Damn it. I hand my car keys to the valet, because we're required to walk on the red, carpeted aisle. Cameras take our picture as we smile and pose. Tess's left hand is purposely on my arm, showing off her engagement ring.

Tess and I separate so we can find the bride and groom, respectively. Alex is already on the altar, waiting patiently. The church is filled with chatter and people. Then I see King Henry.

"Prince Matthew," he says in French, shaking my hand. "I assume you aren't particularly happy with this event."

"Actually, Your Majesty, I'm quite thrilled to know that Alexandra will marry a man she loves."

King Henry glares at me, but I can sense hesitation and confusion in his eyes. He thinks I'm being sarcastic. He leans in close. "I've waited too long," he growls in my ear. "You best not get in the way of any of my plans."

I roll my eyes, since he can't see me anyway. "Yes, Your Majesty," I say calmly.

He smiles haughtily and shakes my hand again. He leaves me at the back entrance as he goes to the front of the church.

_Okay, that might have been the thing that was supposed to go wrong. Yeah, I can relax now._

But the feeling remains like rust.

Soon, Alexa walks out of a separate car. She looks...radiant. She's absolutely glowing, and I'm so happy to see my sister smiling. Rilane walks in front of her, and the other bridesmaids line up. I realize I'm supposed to be walking alongside Tess, and I make a mad dash to the line.

We all walk on the altar, marching to Canon in D by Pachelbel, yet anxiety still strikes me. I'm screaming in my head, but I plaster a smile for the entire country. Tess squeezes my arm comfortingly, and I'm so glad she's here, even when she doesn't know what I'm feeling. Then again it's because I refuse to tell her.

The wedding ceremony goes by in a blur of thoughts and words. I mean, I still respond and take communion since it's still a mass, but my mind's a bit hazy during the readings. _Kiss the bride. Okay, so far, so good._

Alexandra is crowned as the Dauphine of France, and she's officially Princess Alexandra Amberly Pierre.

The wedding ends, and I'm perturbed about what's to come. Everyone files out of the church, and some linger around to talk. My eyes inevitably land on King Henry again, and his giant crown is gleaming in the sunlight.

I'm breathing faster now. Something is going to happen.

Then, out of nowhere, a gunshot rings in my ears. Screams fill the air, but luckily that's the only shot I hear.

"The king!" someone screams.

I look for my father. Oh, no.

"Father!" I yell, pushing the frenetic guests to find my father. I finally see him, grasping for my mother, both their eyes fraught with horror. I hug both of them, and more screams erupt like a volcano.

"The king!"

"The king!"

"Sacré bleu!"

And a space is made in the form of a circle, surrounding something. I rush to the clearance, and find that they're not surrounding _something_, but a _someone._

"Holy shit," I mutter.

King Henry of France is dead, with a bullet straight through his head.

* * *

**Glad I got _that _over with. **

**NEWS!: I have two more stories where I'm involved (if you love me, but probably not). **

**One is called "The Fighting Four" in collaboration with Propert of Illea, ilona18, and WaffleManaic. Our pen name is bita1614. It's already up, so I suggest you go give it a read! I'm uploading my chapter for it soon, but I want the story to get more reviews first. Also, the SYOC form for that is up on bita1614 profile. So go submit a character!**

**The other one does not have a title, as of now, and it is not yet released. This story is in collaboration with lilythemermaid, and our name is NinjaBallerina :)**

**I hope you read both of these stories!**

**QOTD: Two questions—Will you end up reading any of the stories I've listed above? And what is your favorite song?  
**

**Answer to the previous QOTD: I actually forget what it is. Ooh, I remember now because people were pissed at me for asking this :P Yeah, I don't think I can respond to this question haha. I don't think you guys read my responses to my own questions anyway, so it's okay :)**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**LittleMissTori- Ahhh Ansel...Yeah, can't guarantee Matthew won't die. Sowee! Juno is based off my rebellious side :P But yes, my best friend is blond and actually based off Isabelle Day. Sooo yeah. Thanks so much!**

**Kiren- All those celebrities you listed I love :) Yeah, Theo and Shailene just are meant to be on movie screens. And tbh, I didn't really picture him as Tobias. He was okay, but idk. They could have picked someone else more fit for the role. Thanks so much!**

**Oceans19- New reviewer! And I have to be honest, I took it the wrong way at first, but I totally get what you mean. Just have some faith in Matty boy! I know that it's sort of my choice as to what happens in the book, but just pretend these are real people. If the disease overwhelms Matthew, then so be it, but please don't get mad at me. But thank you so much! It means so much to me :)**

**WinteryRose- Uh, Olive Garden is like a classy McDonald's. Tons of people know what it is :P Thank you so much for the review and the suggestion! Ahhhhh hahahaha I laughed so much. That's the ending.**

**OKAY EVERYONE ATTENTION: WINTERYROSE HAS FINISHED MY STORY FOR ME! MATTHEW DIES AFTER JUNO KISSES HIM. BWAHAHA**

**Please-and-Thankyou's- Haha till death do us part. Lol there he goes :P Thanks so much for the suggestion! **

**NalissaPatali- Age is something I'd rather not reveal :) Your favorite? Aww thank you so much!**

**Athenachild101- 3rd person could be cool too :) Thanks so much!**

**selectionprincess59- Mm, I don't think I can do a Juno POV cuz there would be too many POV's in this story. I hope you understand, but Juno will definitely find out Matt's the prince, sometime or another. Thank you so much!**

**ilona18- Eek the wedding was fine, but the end is a disaster. Uh oh is right :P Thanks so much!**

**lilythemermaid- Bae I couldn't sleep at night because I didn't get an "LALOL" :'( Haha jk. I might end up doing a bonus scene where it's from both of their perspectives? And if people want it in more detail (cuz there are demented people out there who want details) I might do one but rated M? Idk. So pumped to get our story started! Thanks so much! LALOL **

**Maria- I don't mind you not reviewing :) You're not obligated to, but it really means so much to me when you guys review :D Thank you so much!**

**KhrystineR- Haha parental talk. Yeah, I'll study hard :) I got your PM! Thank you so much!**

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Oh, I have _everything_ taken care of *evil smile* How was your orientation? I feel like I failed school already :P Haha my poetry was good? Lol that's really funny. I can't do poetry. And puh-lease who doesn't OD on smiley faces? :P Yeah, I do :P too many times. #WeCan'tStop :P Get it? I'm so pathetic. Thank you so much!**

**magical . nerd123- Ohhh _Champion _broke me like no other. I got it taken care of :) Thank you so much!_  
_**

**Theoneforever- I got it taken care of :) (Meaning it's never going to happen cuz he'll die :P jk, probably ) Juno is supah cool (in my head) :P Thank you so much!**

**PokemonLuver151- I love HP. Do you have a Pottermore account? I love it ;) Thanks so much!**

**winterprincess- Haha awww I forgot you were a first story reviewer :3 Thank you sooooo much!**

**SJWrites2014- Haha you said so many different meanings and naturally my dirty mind thought of something else (it was after a first thought of course). Need Your Hand is great :D Thank you so much!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	33. Chapter 32

_Alexandra's POV_

"You may now kiss the bride," the priest says.

Alex and I both have to keep in mind that millions of people, worldwide even, are watching the ceremony. Still, with his eyes smiling, he kisses me softly and quickly.

We fly off to our honeymoon tonight, and I have no idea where Alex is taking me. He just said someplace romantic, somewhere where we don't have to worry about his father.

I think it's so unexpected how I'm standing here, now married to a man I never thought I'd love. Alex pulls back, and the crowds are still cheering. Then we sign some papers so they get me in the Pierre family tree.

_I'm a Pierre. I'm eighteen, and I'm married and pregnant._

They crown me the Dauphine of France, married to the crown prince. I am now Princess Alexandra Amberly Pierre of Illéa and France.

Alexander and I walk down the aisle to exit, and Alex's uncle is there taking pictures, alongside my father. I'm really glad he chose to do this. Seeing my father, the king, doing an actual, normal job is like seeing a giant mouse shrinking back to normal size. It's comforting, and I'm sure everywhere in the world people are thinking what a great man my father is.

Alex and I linger a bit around to greet and thank guests for coming. We get smiles, hugs, congratulations, and we return them. After all, we are married.

_We're married. _

I'm not sure if those words will ever make sense in my head. It's funny how two months ago this was an arranged marriage. And now we're joined by love and law, and more importantly, by choice. I've been thinking my entire life about how this would be hell.

I even came up with anagrams for some words (falling in love: Lo! An evil fling; married: ram ride). I even thought love and marriage were against me (love and marriage: die, anagram lover!).

But everything is so different right now, like the world suddenly wants to orbit and revolve the other way.

"Are you excited for tonight, _ma cherie?" _Alex whispers huskily in my ear. I nearly swoon right in front of the Swendish duchess. When she leaves, I turn to Alex and teasingly smack his shoulder.

"That was embarrassing!" I say. "Don't do that."

He smiles and leans in even closer; so close I can feel his warm breath and his soft lips hit my ear. "Don't do this? Why not, my love?"

I mentally fumble for a witty remark, but I'm saved by Queen Francena. Alex's mother, and I guess, my mother-in-law.

She embraces me in an embrace. "Congratulations, my dear," she says, in a smooth, silky accent.

I smile graciously, curtsying. "_Merci beaucoup."_

Francena waves it aside. "No, no. No need. I must speak with Alexander first."

I still curtsy and leave them to greet other guests. I'm too curious about what she's saying to my husband, and I'm literally itching just to know what they know.

A breeze blows over me, and I nearly shiver. The air smells fresh and...like gunpowder? I look at the perimeter of the church, around corners and alleys, but I can't find anyone suspicious. I look to the rooftops and...

Oh, no.

A hooded figure with a sniper is on the roof of an adjacent building, poised and pointed to...

The shot rings in the air like a bell. Screams and yells soon follow, and I'm trying to find Alex.

"The king!" I hear.

I see Alexander past the disarray, his eyes transfixed and gawking at his father's dead, bleeding body. Then he roars like an injured bear, like a man that has just been stabbed repeatedly by a sharp knife. The already horror-filled air seems to paralyze me. I've never seen Alex so petrified, and it is so frightening to see someone who is so brave and kind so afraid and terrorized.

When someone shoves past me with a bony shoulder, I'm forced to move to stop myself from falling. I run to Alex, now on his knees. He doesn't do anything, doesn't touch his father. He knows as well as anyone else that it's too late.

The guests are still alarmed, but the initial terror fades away as they notice that there will only be a single gunshot. More gasps of surprise fill the air rather than screams and cars driving away.

"The king," someone whispers again.

I reach Alex and put an arm around the man I love, tearing my eyes away from the corpse. It smells like metal.

"Alex," I whisper in his ear.

His eyes flicker over to mine, looking like a dim light bulb. "Guards!" he yells, standing up so quickly it knocks me over. "Get my mother, Alexandra," he says, extending a hand to help me stand. I take it, and he nearly yanks my arm out of its socket.

I rush to find Queen Francena, and I'm surprised to see her perfectly calm compared to her surroundings. "Your Majesty," I say. "Alex wants to see you."

She sighs, as if she's just absolutely weary and uninterested right now. She nods and allows me to lead her to Alex. "What is it, boy?" Francena says, exasperated.

Alex clenches his jaw and clamps a hand around the woman's arm. "Ow! Alex—"

He says nothing as he drags her back inside the church. He lets go of her arm roughly, and I'm almost expecting him to slap her.

"How could you do this to me, Mother?" he says, his low voice echoing throughout the church.

"Alexander, I do not know—"

"Do not deny it!" he yells, and I swear the stained glass windows will shatter.

Queen Francena glares at him. "You said you wanted your father gone. You knew I would hire an assassin."

"But on my _wedding _day? How could you be so inconsiderate?!"

"Alexander," she starts.

"No, enough. I should have never trusted you to do this. I said we would outlive him. Why today, of all days?" Alex sounds near to tears, and I want to embrace him right there.

"I didn't have a specific date in mind," Francena admits. "I just told him the most convenient and most unexpected time. I'm so sorry, son."

"No, you're not," Alex growls. "You are not the least bit apologetic. You never loved Father."

"You didn't love him either!" she retorts.

Alex shakes his head. "At least I respected him."

And with that, he leaves the building, and I follow close behind. I put a hand on his shoulder, and I'm expecting him to shake it off. But he doesn't. Instead, he takes my hand in his and pulls me in for a tight embrace. I hug him even tighter. I can feel him shaking, and for a moment I think he's crying.

But no.

Alex is _laughing._

"What is it?" I say, pulling back to look at him, wanting to know if he finds humor in something or if his laughter is mirthless.

"I'm so sorry, Alexa," he says sincerely, rubbing my cheekbone with his thumb. "Our wedding was supposed to be the start of something amazing, and yet it was the end of something else."

"Don't be sorry, Alex. It isn't your fault. At all."

He sighs. "I guess you're right. I'd feel worse if I actually devised the plan."

"But you didn't, and you never would. You're much too compassionate for that."

He pulls me to him, and I rest my ear against his beating heart. "We still have months before we reign as king and queen," he says, slightly rocking back and forth. "My mother will most definitely lead France until she retires."

"I didn't know your mother is almost as vindictive as Henry."

"They are certainly a match made in Heaven."

The camera flashes start drowning us again, so Alex and I go to the limousine waiting for us and drive to the reception, as if nothing ever happened.

As soon as the windows obstruct us from view, Alex pulls me roughly against him and kisses me feverishly. My hands want to roam all over his sculpted body, but we must look presentable for the guests.

"Tonight will be a great one," he murmurs into my ear, making my heart stand on edge. "Our honeymoon..." He trails off on purpose to kiss me again.

"Alex," I say, breathlessly pulling away. "We don't have to consummate our marriage. I mean, I'm already pregnant."

He smiles, and the word seems to make him happy. "But that's the thing. I want to make love to you as your husband, and you as my wife. I want you to know that I love you, and that when I look in your eyes, I know you love me too."

I cradle his cheek in my hand. "Alex, I love you."

He smiles cheekily, and nothing ever happened.

* * *

_Tess's POV_

_Glass rains down from the sky like hail. A man clothed in black stands several yards away from me, his gun pointed to a figure with a gleaming crown. It's King Henry, I know it. _

_But when the crowned man looks up, I can see that it's not the king of France._

_Matthew's pleading, horrified blue eyes don't meet mine. I try running for him, but something holds my limbs in place, like I am a wooden plank. I watch as the man puts the barrel against Matthew's head and pulls the trigger. I cry out in agony as Matthew crumples to the ground. _

_The pain in my head is immense, like I am the one who has been shot. _

_Matthew dies, and I'd die with him. _

"My love, please wake up," I hear vaguely.

My heavy eyelids snap open. Matt's face is inches away from mine, and he's completely intact. I wrap my arms around his torso and hold him to me. He smooths my hair like he always does.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he whispers.

I shake my head. Trying to recall the dream would be trying to relive a death sentence. Matt seems to understand. He presses his lips to my forehead, and I try to even my breathing.

Why do dreams occur? Why do they appear when we are at our most vulnerable point? Images that terrify us plague us, even when our eyes are closed.

"Matthew," I choke out. "I'm so tired of crying and feeling afraid all the time."

I'm expecting words of comfort, maybe, or something along the lines of "It's okay to feel that way."

"Me too, love," he says, sighing. "Me too."

* * *

**I'm not dead. Or MIA. Or stuck in a cornfield with no wi-fi. See what school does to you? Yeah, so I can't even remember the last time I updated. I've had this chapter halfway written last night, I think. Then I thought, heck, I'll just finish it tomorrow. **

**School is a blast. I haven't gotten lost yet because I ask people where to go (they're actually really nice; except for these girls a while ago who were like "Why do freshmen get to sit here now?" I was thinking, "Well, where do you want us to sit? The roof?).**

**OH! _The Selection! _More Selection, more Selection, more Selection. It's happening, you guys. It's happening.**

**QOTD: Which new Selection installment are you most excited to read? The Queen, The Favorite, or the two new books, with the first one being called The Heir?**

**Answer to previous QOTD: I really hope you guys read these stories. The Fighting Four is well underway, and I'm so glad we're getting reviews! And NEWS: lilythemermaid and I are so close to updating the first chapter. I really hope you guys love it as much as we do. It's not your average Selection story, but please give it a read.**

**Follow bita1614 and NinjaBallerina for more updates on stories! Also, follow/favorite The Fighting Four. When the new story comes out, make sure you follow/favorite that as well! **

**And we have a title: The Fangirls. Hope you enjoy it.**

**Finally, I'm a sucky lame-o loser. I'm so sorry, but my head is pounding because it's 11:34 and I'm quite exhausted from school. I just wanted to get this chapter out to you guys. **

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	34. Chapter 33

_Matthew's POV_

One would think that after an assassination and a funeral that everything would be in disarray.

This sure as hell is not disarray. In fact, France is almost happy their former ruler is no longer on the throne. It turns out Queen Francena loves her people more than Henry ever did. France is rejoicing and happy with Alexa and Alex's marriage in place. The French also happen to love Illéa now, what with the new trade system we have with them.

Then again, there always has to be something that goes wrong.

The rebel alarm wails in desperation, and I grab Xander's hand as we run out of the music room, the piano bench falling hopelessly. The mental map of the palace lays out in my mind, and I'm guessing the same thing is happening in Xander's mind. We both know exactly which way to go to get to the main family safe room.

When we reach the room, my heart is pounding in my ears. Anxiety and dread mix together to make an indomitable feeling in me. _Where is Tess? _

Mother's eyes meet mine and beckons me. I'm not used to the room being two people short. Alexa isn't here, and Tess is nowhere to be seen. She told me that she'd work out for a bit, and I wish Jerome was still here to train her, but he's back in Swendway.

"Everyone's here," Mother says, "except for—"

I run a hand through my hair. "I know. I was with Xander in the music room, and Tess was in the training room."

She waves it aside. "She's a smart girl. I'm sure she'll get here or find another safe room."

But ten minutes later, the room remains Tess-less. This must be the shortest rebel attack in the history of Illéa.

A guard announces that it's all clear. I look around when I get upstairs. It's not a Southern rebel attack, and there isn't a mess either. I thought Luke was done with his shenanigans. But apparently this isn't the case.

"What happened?" I ask the guard.

He shrugs. "Some idiot accidentally pulled the rebel alarm, Your Majesty."

I frown, then deadpan, "Are you kidding me?"

"Not at all, Your Majesty."

"So everything is completely untouched? Nothing is wrong?"

"No, Your Majesty. You may go check yourself."

"Where's Tess?" I ask, walking a bit faster, and the guard has to quicken his pace.

"I saw the princess in the east wing last."

I nod and break into a run, not caring about my faulty heart. The east wing is void of any princess, and I can feel my heart simply beating faster, and it's not the sprinting. Where the hell is she? I swear, if that Luke douche has her...

There's a frantic scream coming from upstairs. I run to the sound, and it's emanating from Tess's room. My eyes widen and my hand shakes with fear as I open the door.

Tess is hyperventilating, and I want to make sure she's unscathed. "Love," I say, rushing to her. "Love, are you alright?"

She looks at me, and the face that greets me does not belong to the usual happy Tess I know. Her hair is falling out of her ponytail, and the curls are wild around her frightened face. Her cheeks are red and so are her eyes. She wipes tears on her cheeks, but they keep falling.

I take her face in my hands to console her. "Tess, look at me. Look at me."

Her breathing slows a bit, and her eyes look at mine for a moment before flitting to different parts of the room. She holds my forearms tightly, and she whimpers. "Matthew."

"Love, please tell me what is going on."

"It's not here," she whispers, horrified.

"What's not here?"

"It's not here, Matt," she says, her voice rising in tone and decibel with every word. "It's gone, someone took it. Why the hell is it not here?"

"What's not here?" I repeat patiently.

"The guitar Michael gave me!" she squeaks, holding my arms tighter. "Someone took it and it's not here!" She leaves me to search every crevice in the room, breathing deeply and frenetically. I don't bother looking; I know that whoever took it wouldn't hide it anywhere in the room.

Tess starts crying again and returns to me. I hold her to my chest as she weeps. "Love, it's alright," I say. "I'll get you a new one."

"It was the last piece I had of him," she says, her voice muffled but the pain is evident. "It was the only thing I had from him. And now he's gone, and now it's gone, and now..." She trails off, clutching the back of my shirt.

Oh.

"Tess..." I don't quite know what to say. I can't lie to her and say I'll find it, but I can assure her that I'll try.

Before I start my words of commiseration, there's a sharp knock on the door. The guest doesn't bother waiting for a response, and I think it's rather rude.

A guard pokes his head around the door, and it turns out to be Luke. Tess and I face him, my arms wrapped around Tess even tighter now. I scowl. "What do you want?"

He blinks, unfazed. The rebel leader steps inside the room, extending his arm. Everyone's eyes drift to the blue acoustic guitar in his hand. "I found this in the hands of another man."

Tess gasps and rushes to him. She gives him a tight and quick hug, and I want to just kill the world. She takes the guitar and observes it for any scratches. "Thank you," she says, emotion seeping in her voice. "Luke, I can't thank you enough."

He smiles, rubbing the back of his neck. I want to kill him. It's a façade; I can see the hidden complacency in his eyes, and Tess doesn't notice it. All she sees is the blue-eyed bashful friend from her past.

"I have to go do my rounds," he says, sounding like we would feel disappointed without his presence. "I'll see you around, Tess." His eyes flick to mine, like he has just noticed me. "Your Majesty," he mumbles.

Luke closes the door behind him, and only then do I release a tense breath. Tess is smiling, and she hangs up the guitar back on her wall. It hurts knowing that I'm not the man that's making her smile right now. I wish I found that guitar. I'm pretty sure I would have been able to beat up the guy that took the guitar.

Still, something doesn't sit right. There is a fifteen-minute rebel attack that is supposedly an accident, yet something is stolen from Tess's room, of all places. And it's a guitar from Michael, the late crown prince, no less.

It's just not logical.

But Tess is happy now, so I guess there's nothing to worry and complain about.

* * *

_Luke Danielson's POV_

I know I'm not an idiot, and I have to say, that little hoax about "accidentally" pulling the alarm is a stroke of genius.

The alarm is still going off, and it's probably one of my least favorite sounds. Nonetheless, I go to Tess's room and find something of monetary and/or sentimental value. I have to admit my motives for being here are a bit vindictive, if not selfish. But seeing her with that stupid, God-awful prince makes me want to tear his head off.

There's a hint of Tess that clings in the air. Her bed is made, and it looks like she hasn't touched it in weeks.

Another reason why I hate the prince.

I'm trying to look for that necklace she always wears, but I know it's always on her. Her ring would've been more convenient, but I won't be able to obtain it for the same reason. The framed pictures on her wall can be easily replaced, so that won't work either.

I'm about to leave the room and maybe try the prince's when I see a bright blue object on the wall. A guitar. That's perfect. Tess loves music, and every instrument of hers is treated like her own child. I take it off its mount and give it a once-over. So small I can barely see it, there is a marking on the neck of the guitar. _From Michael._

From the dead prince? Even better.

I take it and run out the door to hide in a deserted room. About five minutes later, I hear rushed footsteps pass me. For a second I think the person will enter this room, but no one turns the doorknob. I do hear a lot of scuffling from the next room, so I'm guessing that's Tess panicking. I start to get up, my hand already on the doorknob, but I hear another voice join her panicked one.

Oh, the prince is there. Even better.

There's silence for a bit, so this might be a good entrance as any. I knock on the door and open the door. The Tess I know wouldn't mind if I invited myself in.

But this isn't the Tess I know.

She and the prince are embracing, and my stomach churns in disgust. The prince makes no effort to hide the scowl on his face, and Tess looks at me, confused, even with her tear-streaked face.

"What do you want?" Prince Matthew says abrasively.

My grip on the guitar tightens as I walk inside the room and present the instrument. "I found this in the hands of another man."

Tess's eyes light up, as if someone turned on a light inside her head. She rushes to me, leaving the prince shocked and a bit pained. Tess gives me a tight but rushed hug. I remember how she felt in my arms. I like how I feel much taller than her.

"Thank you," she says, and I give the guitar back to her. She holds it, and it looks so right when she's holding it. "Luke, I can't thank you enough."

I feel a smile tugging my mouth. "I have to go do my rounds," I say, feeling like I've done enough. Besides, the prince's eyes are boring a hole in my head. "I'll see you around, Tess." I have to at least acknowledge the guy so I slightly nod. "Your Majesty," I mutter under my breath.

His scowl deepens the repulsed look on his face. I'm smiling inside, and I leave the room.

Maybe that was to spite the prince, but I wanted to get on good terms with Tess.

And I think I've done exactly that.

* * *

**The Luke POV is a one-time thing, and that's it. I just needed you to understand what happened from his point of view. It's hard because I don't quite understand the way his mind works. I hope you liked that little perspective. **

**Oh, school. Sorry about this late update. I have to write an essay and it's already kicking my ass. I have a B+ in geometry, and like, what the heck? I cannot. Ughhh this is literally my third week in and I feel like I'm already dying. Tell me I'm overreacting.**

**OH! The other fanfics I'm working on—THANK YOU GUYS SOOOO MUCH! The stories have reviews, and I couldn't be more grateful. **

**QOTD: If the songs written in this story are actual songs with an actual melody, would you guys actually want to hear it? :P Crappy question. Oh, favorite music video ever? (The VMAs are tonight!)**

**Answer to previous QOTD: I'm super excited for everything, and all for different reasons. The Favorite because I want to know what happened between Carter and Marlee before shit happened. The Queen because I want to see how much of an asshole Clarkson was. The Heir because, come on, it will be like everyone's OC fanfictions becoming a legitimate thing. Soooo excited!**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**The responses for these reviews are just for the previous chapter BTW. I don't think I could respond to so many thoughts at once, and that is so...I don't remember the word for it. Unparalleled, maybe.**

**Athenachild101- I loved the first 3 chapters too! And The Heir? Sooo pumped! Thanks so much!**

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Haha same here! I was screaming and my mom was like "...". Yeah, so there was that :) Thanks so much!**

**magicalnerd123- Right?! Kiera Cass is my favorite author alongside John Green. Ahhhh! Thanks so much!**

**Guest- Thank you so much for the review! **

**Kiren- Nah, just school, so it might as well be the same thing :) Thanks so much!**

**SJWrites2014- How do you come up with titles so poetic and poignant? And yass you must update :) But yeah, school is not a swamp, it's a dump, a muggy, humid, suffocating jungle. Sigh. Thank you so much!**

**Maria- Thank you soooo much!**

**eruditedemigod- Glad you love it! Thanks so much!**

**Blondie115- Awww thank you so much! That is so sweet I can't handle it *happy squeal***

**Please-and-Thankyou's- Lol haha funky's such a good word :P Thank you so much!**

**WinteryRose- That's what I was thinking! Legitimate fanfictions! Ahhh! Thanks so much!**

**fantasybookgirl- My school is legit a campus. My classes are in three different buildings. It's soooo fun, though! Lunch time is definitely my favorite part of the day. I always get iced tea :) Unsweetened :) Thank you so much!**

**prnamber3909- #IFeelYa I'm always super worried if I'm sitting in the wrong class :P My schedule rotates everyday, so yeeeah. Thanks so much!**

**winterprincess- Haha I'm all good :) Yeah, Queen Francena is a bitch to her husband, but the people love her :) SOOOO excited for the new books! Thanks so much!**

**Theoneforever- I need The Heir like I need Air. Ahhh! Thanks so much!**

**PokemonLuver151- Glad you liked it! So excited too! Thank you!**

**lilythemermaid- (I feel like this chapter was a big middle finger to Lucas :P ) MAXERICA BABIES! Cute little blue-eyed blond kids/redheaded brown-eyed ragamuffins? Sooo excited! Girl, we really need to update The Fangirls. We have 13 reviews though! Like, what even? HOW even?! Thanks so muuuuch :3 Luv ya, O! LALOL**

**KhrystineR- Uh, I've read EVERYTHING in like a span of thirty minutes. And it's good to be excited! I'm sooo excited! Ahhh! Thank you so much!**

**azure blue espeon- New reviewer! :) I'm aware. I'm sooo glad you liked my other stories too! Super excited for the new installments :D Thank you so much!**

**LittleMissTori- Glad you loved the chapter :) Ooh cheer try-outs. Tell me how that goes. Good luck! Yeah, I'm really loving the no-boys thing. And don't worry; I'm sure you'll make friends. Thanks so much!**

**miaforevez- Haha wifey. Who made you cry? Me? Haha...*awkward silence* Thanks so much!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	35. Chapter 34

_Tess's POV_

It's the sixth of September. Time flies by so quickly. I haven't seen Alexandra and Alexander since their wedding. They're in France at the moment, starting their transition to king and queen of France. I still think it's odd that that Alexa is married before I am, that she's with child before I am. She's younger than I am, and I think that's what makes me so incredulous.

The past two months have been days of wedding planning and country arranging, and honestly, Matthew and I have been so busy it does not leave any time for making out in between. It just doesn't seem like the proper time, what with attending meetings that last two to four hours, interviews, press conferences, Matthew's support group (to which he goes by himself), my working out, writing songs for Matt's new album titled "The Life". We still sleep side-by-side, every night, but our midnight balcony meetings have ceased for the moment. We end up so exhausted by ten o'clock. It's a bit disconcerting, but it's Life that comes to interfere at times.

"Hey, what do you think of this lyric?" Matt says, sprawled on the floor, his back on the floor of the music room with a guitar on his chest. I take my seat on the lounge, a pen poised to write on a notepad. He's written plenty of songs, apparently, even before we were together. There are currently four songs on the album, and we're working toward our fifth one.

Matt plays Cadd9 with the capo on the second fret, then a G, then a D, then an E Minor. He continues to play that way, and I start to sing words that seem somewhat reasonable. "Sometimes, I wish I could read your mind. Sometimes, I wish I..." I trail off there, not knowing what to say.

"How about instead of sometimes it could be some days?" Matt says. I nod and write everything down. We go on for about a minute and a half before coming up with the first verse and a chorus.

"Some days, I wish I could read your mind.  
Some days, I wish I could sleep at night.  
When you look in my eyes,  
It's like a fire burning bright.

When will you tell me how you're really feeling?  
When will you tell me what you're thinking?  
Sometimes, I wish you would open up some more.

Will it always be this way between us?  
Will it always be this hard?  
Tell me this one imagination.

Yeah.

Just tell me the truth.  
Cuz I can't see what it's doing to you.  
Can't you feel it tonight?  
Ask you if you're alright.  
All you say is yeah."

It's titled "Yeah", and I feel like these songs are enormous inside jokes that people will never know.

"Tess," Matt says, tapping the guitar with his fingernails.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think people would listen to this album?"

I consider it and answer it realistically. "They'd have to at least be curious to see if the prince can sing," I reply. "There's no guarantee they'll like it..."

He shoots me a look, and I stick out my tongue at him. It's been nothing but playful between us, and I'm glad it's been that way. I don't think I could handle a world without humor and...Matthew. It just distracts us from the grave issues of our Life. But Life wants to be noticed, like a petulant child, nagging and bragging about how great they are. It's quite irritating actually.

"I think we have enough songs for the album," he says. "Six songs is plenty, yeah?"

"Yeah. Now we record them."

Recording proves to be harder than I first anticipated. Sometimes I'd forget a word, but after a fifty-four seconds, I get the gist of the lyrics and remember what they mean. I sing them, piece by piece, like I'm telling a story. Singing with Matt is a dream. I can't quite explain the certain thrill I feel when he's singing. It's like he pours his entire soul into the melody and the notes.

I keep falling deeper and deeper in love with him. He has no idea how much I'm into him. Every love song we sing makes me love him more.

We finish recording at about ten thirty-nine, and I yawn after recording the sixth song. "Matt, when are we going home?"

He smiles, almost shyly, and then he laughs. I frown. "Does that mean another hour here?"

"You called the palace home."

I smile, and this time, he yawns. "Your Majesties, you're free to go," the producer says. Richard, I think his name is.

Matt drives home this time, the windows open and our hair blowing carelessly. We stop at a light, and there's another car beside us. The guy driving it has his own girl in the convertible, and the guy raises an eyebrow. He revs the engine, and Matt just laughs. The light turns green and Matt speeds away, leaving everything behind us. We sing to the song playing on the radio and pretend that nothing matters.

We reach home, and I'm oblivious to the lights, to the concerned parents on the foyer until Matt and I get out of the car. I frown and brace myself for the problem. "What's wrong?" Matt says, instinctively grabbing my hand.

"It's my mother," Dad says. "She's ill, and she's getting worse. We were planning a visit."

"You guys have the option of staying here," says Mom, tugging her red hair that's loose and flowing past her shoulders. "Or you could come with us."

Matt's grip tightens on mine. "We're coming with you. At least, I am. Tess, you could stay here, if you wanted or—"

"No," I say, and he squeezes my hand. "I'm going wherever you're going." I smack my forehead. "God, that was so cliche."

"Truly poignant, love," Matt replies. "Well, I suppose we should pack. When are we leaving?"

Dad starts walking inside, and he says over his shoulder, "In two hours."

* * *

_Matthew's POV_

I remember Grandma Amberly vividly. She was always bright eyed, radiant, like she contained the sun. She's a lot like my mother, beautiful in that same way. When Grandfather Clarkson passed, she got really sick a few weeks later. She was devastated and heartbroken. I guess that theory where a person loses their spouse and dies shortly thereafter must be true. Only Grandma hasn't died yet because she's much stronger. She's the one that gave me my favorite violin, and it's my favorite because she's the one who gave it to me.

The thought of going back to Honduragua excites me, but at the same time, it fills me with sadness and dread. Whenever we go to Honduragua for vacation, we would would stay in our beach house with glass walls and a grand piano. But it no longer stands. It only sits in a pathetic pile of debris.

I finish packing within two minutes. I have all of my necessities with me. I open the door to Tess's room, and she's not yet done. Why does it take girls forever to get ready? It's just clothes, toothbrush. I mean, does packing really require more than five minutes?

I laugh, shaking my head and leaning against the door frame. Tess runs from her closet to the her suitcase. "You packing your entire wardrobe, love?"

She rolls her eyes. "Oh, please. Just necessities. Pants, shorts, shirts, jackets, just in case it's cold, underwear..." She turns to me and crosses her arms. "Matthew, guys don't have to worry about their hair products, bras, feminine products—"

My eyes widen. "Whoa, okay, that's enough, Tess."

She smirks and raises an eyebrow. "If you're going to live with me and be married to me for life, you'll have to deal with it."

"Hmm, maybe I should take back that ring." She pouts teasingly, and it's my turn to smirk. "Just kidding, love. Just kidding."

She just smiles and returns packing. "I remember hearing you play the violin and how...passionate you were. It was inspiring, and I was in awe of you. And I just think that's the moment when I started falling for you."

I just smile a little. It's funny how one moment can determine an entire future. "I realized I started caring about you when Maria was taken by the rebels. You just looked so sad and devastated, and it hurt me, seeing you that way."

She pauses as she zips up her suitcase. "Why do bad things keep happening?"

"It's funny how we keep asking that same question over and over again, don't you think?"

"Questions will stop being asked once they have answers."

And the truth of it is realized—these questions will never stop being asked.

* * *

**Hey, guys! Hope you still liked this super boring chapter. Not exciting, I know. I've been horrible in this department as of late. Oh, well. **

**News: Some of you responded to my previous QOTD saying that you wanted to hear the actual songs. Sooo I made a soundcloud account for the story! Super lame, I know, but I did it anyway. Look up AcademicGirl on soundcloud dot com and you'll find the track for this chapter here :) Hope you guys like it, and tell me if you want to hear more.**

**QOTD: If you could go to one place, anywhere in the universe, regardless of money or means of transportation, where would it be?**

**Answer to previous QOTD: I quite like the "Shake It Off" music vid. I also kinda like the "Cool Kids" music video. I don't usually watch music videos, and the only memorable one for me is "Wrecking Ball". :P **

**Thank you soooooo much for the reviews! I literally don't have time anymore to respond to reviews, and I'm super sorry. Like, today I was planning on doing homework (cuz school is slaying me), but that's not what happened. I ended up writing for other stories, video chatting one of my best friends, watching the Teen Choice Awards and an episode of Bachelor in Paradise...So what's new with y'all? **

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl **


	36. Chapter 35

_Tess's POV_

"Maria, what do you mean you're not coming?!" I ask, flinging my hands over my head.

She sighs, seemingly exhausted. "Xander and I broke up."

"What do you mean you broke up?!"

"Tess, will you calm down?" She closes her suitcase, her closets and room entirely empty of any personal belongings. Maria points to the bed. "Take a seat, and I'll explain."

I take a seat, but sitting doesn't mean I'll stop moving altogether. My knee bounces up and down as I wait for her explanation. "Tell me," I say impatiently.

"It's September," she says. "I have to start school."

"So? You could go to school here, in Angeles. In the meanwhile, you could come—"

"Tess, I don't want to be a princess, okay?" Maria sits on the floor, picking at her frayed jean shorts. "I don't...I don't want to deal with what you're dealing with. I don't want an entire country to rely on me. I want a normal life, and Xander can't give me that."

I bite my lip, thinking about her words. "But you said you liked him a lot."

"Not all first relationships last, Tess. Maybe you and Matthew are lucky, and maybe you want this kind of Life, but I don't."

It's funny how she knows exactly what she wants. She lives in black and white, whereas I think black and white. "How'd you tell Xander?"

She shrugs nonchalantly. "I told him that this was too hard for me. He took it fairly well, actually. He didn't scream or yell or anything. He was actually really sweet about everything." A blush creeps up Maria's cheeks, and I smirk.

"It sounds like you still really like him, Maria."

She rubs her eyes. "He kissed me goodbye, one last time."

"Oh."

Feelings can be so strange. It provokes us to act so strangely, to think weird thoughts, like someone completely rewires our brains.

"If Xander wasn't a prince," I start, "would you still like him?"

She nods quickly. "Absolutely."

I smile. "Then that's all that matters."

Maria stands, pulling her suitcase with her. "I'm leaving when you guys are, but we have different flights. So, I guess this is goodbye."

I rush to her and encase her in my arms. She's so much thinner than I, and she feels so frail, but she embraces me back. "I'll miss you, big sis," she mumbles.

I pull back to look at her big brown eyes, tearing up when I see her start to cry. "Aw, Maria," I say. "You'll be here for my wedding anyway. Do well in school, okay? Don't do anything you'll regret. Don't give Mom and Dad a hard time."

She laughs. "I get it. Besides, it's kinda hard to tell which one is Mom and Dad now. You call the king and queen 'Mom and Dad.'"

I look at her, trying to come up with something clever to say, but words leave me like a popped balloon.

A maid knocks on the door and announces that we have to leave now. After grabbing my suitcase, Maria and I meet everyone else at the foyer. I almost laugh at Rilane's giant pink suitcase, almost tearing at the seams by how stuffed it is. Then there's Matthew, whose dark blue duffel bag looks almost empty. Mom and Dad already look ready, and that's our little entourage.

We're driven to the airport, and I've never felt so...valued. Multiple cars filled with guards surround ours as we zoom down the highway. The last time I was in a plane is not a time I want to remember. Yet, it creeps in my brain, like a poisonous spider waiting to inject its venom. I stare at the streetlights outside, at the other cars needing to go somewhere. I just want to forget.

Matt bumps my shoulder with his, and he takes my hand. I don't really have any other words to say, so I lay my head on his shoulder.

_~An hour and fifty-seven minutes later~_

I'm hyperventilating. I seem to do that a lot, and it must be a talent. The smell of stale coffee in the aisles lingers in my mind, and I remember how it was mixed with the smell of sulfur. My shoulders shake, and I put my head in between my legs while a comforting hand rubs circles on my back.

"Love, it's okay. It's okay."

The sight of the empty cockpit. The attendants' horrified faces. The terrifying jump. The smell of sulfur. An explosion. Heat. Fire.

Fire.

"Tess, Tess, listen to me." It's hard to hear when he's underwater. Water.

"Water," I croak.

"Get her water!"

Water puts out fires. Maybe, just maybe...

Jumping out. The pain in my legs. The sickening crack of a nearby attendant. The explosion. The sensation of flying midair, only to hit my head on a tree. That spot on my head suddenly starts throbbing, and the pain is so intense I can't hear anything anymore.

Someone pulls me back up, their crystal blue eyes the only thing I can see. The pair of eyes has a body. The arms connected to that body wrap around me, warm and comforting. A plastic cup of water is brought to my lips, and I drink thirstily. The hands connected to the arms smooth down my hair, wipe the traumatized tears on my face.

"Tess."

I don't know how much time has passed until I realize we're in the air. The sky outside is dark, and it's cold, so, so cold.

"May I have a blanket, please?" a warm voice asks. My shoulders are suddenly enveloped in a fleece cloth, but I'm still shivering. "Do you want water, love?"

I numbly nod, and I have another cup of water. I look at the worried blue eyes looking me up and down, even though I'm curled up in a ball. The armrest between us is lifted, so that he is free to hold me close to him without any obstacle. His chest is hard and strong beneath my hand, but there's a an elevated part, like a platform. I lower the collar of his thin shirt and find a scar over an oblong-shaped object.

"Love, please say something."

"Matthew," I breathe. "Matthew."

"God, you scared the shit out of me," he says.

I shrug. "Just a panic attack." But to be honest, it scared the shit out of me too. "'God' and 'shit' shouldn't be in the same sentence, you know."

He holds me to his chest, and I wrap my arms around him. "Our parents were so shell-shocked that they didn't even know what to do," Matt says. "Rilane just stared at you."

"Nice to know they treated me like a bearded lady."

He takes a while for that to register before he laughs. "Nice to know you're being yourself again."

"You said '_our_ parents,'" I say, leaving no transition in between.

"Their your parents too, aren't they?"

"Not yet."

"Well, you're about to meet my-slash-our grandmother."

It's daunting to know I'll be meeting a former queen. Even scarier to know that I'll be related to royalty by marriage.

"Love, what in the world are you thinking about?" He exhales just above my hairline, and I curl up closer to him.

I don't respond, because by that time, I'm already asleep.

* * *

**Well, this was kind of a weird chapter. And, um, the next chapters might be a bit...Well, I'll wait for that moment. I hope you guys will...be affected. I don't know what I'm trying to say here. Well, I know what I'm trying to say, but I can't say it because it would give it away.**

**Oh, my goodness, thank you to those who listened to my song on soundcloud! I know it was totally lame, but thanks for listening anyway!**

**QOTD: What is your biggest fear?**

**Answer to previous QOTD: London. Easily. **

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**marial0789- I'll try my best to keep it up! :P Thanks!**

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- ...I think the Alps are in Switzerland? Idk, maybe that's just poor geography knowledge on my part. Thanks so much!**

**LittleMissTori- Wow! That's great! Congrats! Lol boys suck. I really like looking at them, but I think at this point guys are super immature. I'll stick to my fictional boys, thank you very much :) Thanks!**

**Kiren- Lol Lorien. I'd kinda just want to meet Sam and date him :P Thanks!**

**lilythemermaid- Haha ya feelin it? :P And awwww thank yoooou! And for the record, I'm not good at everything. I can't dance, and you can, so there. I suck at dancing :P I can't whistle or beatbox (and my sister can). Ummm, I don't do/like sports, and the feeling is mutual. I'm not good at everything :P Name a random thing and I'll guarantee that I'm not good at it. Then there's you who's, like, Miss Honors/AP/animal lover/super nice/super pretty person then there's me who's like :/ Lol thanks so much for keeping me from homework. Totally loved that. Ooh Greece. So cool. Thanks so much! LALALALOL- T (btw you're O and I'm T ;) )**

**Athenachild101- Lol I just realized you had an account :P Ahhh penguins! Penguins are my third favorite animals. It goes dolphins, then polar bears, then penguins :) I'm a water person. Antarctica sounds pretty desolate, don't you think? Ah, well, whatever makes you happy :) Thanks so much!**

**bita1614/ilona18- Glad you liked the song :) Thanks so much!**

**winterprincess- Oh, I won't kill Amberly. Don't worry. I hope you listened to my song (that's totally lame anyway, but whatevs)! The moon. Classic answer :) Thanks so much!**

**Theoneforever- Glad you loved it! Oh, Amberly. I'm gonna miss her... Thanks so much!**

**dakotamo- Hahaha oh, that line. It slays me :P Thanks so much!**

**Please-and-Thankyou's- Ah, classic answer :) Thanks!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	37. Chapter 36

**Woo third update in a row! I'm spoiling you guys, but I love ya anyway.**

* * *

_America's POV_

I remember the first time I visited Honduragua. After all, it was where Maxon and I had our honeymoon. I hate how I can't look back at Honduragua as a happy place anymore. All because of one man, a man who is no longer living.

When Henry died, I thought I'd be ecstatic. But now, I just feel sad and empty. An eye for an eye, a life for a life. I've realized that everyone lived by that mantra, everyone would be blind and dead. It's pointless.

Mom's house is the one she's had as a child. It's pale yellow, with poorly tended plants surrounding it, due to the muggy air from the factories. Maxon and I made sure a long time ago that there wouldn't nearly be as many factories, and that's something we were able to achieve quickly.

The house is in the middle of nearly nowhere. The dense jungle-like environment surrounds us, and it makes me feel safer knowing that we will be here, unable to be tracked. At least twenty guards surround the house, though really it's for the children's sake rather than ours. Tess's breakdown in the airplane isn't something I'd like to see again. It was frustrating for me, not being able to do anything to help.

There are only so many things within my reach.

Maxon knocks the door and the squeaky wooden door opens for us, and I take his hand. I haven't seen Amberly in a while, and still, the only image in my mind of her is bright and luminous. We've been suspecting that her sickness was short-term, what with the factory smoke clogging up everyone's lungs here.

Adele is the one to open the door. "Maxon, America," she breathes, engulfing us in a tight hug. When she pulls back, only then I can see how weary she is. Her tired eyes match her dull gray hair. "Come on, kids," she says, waving us inside.

The house smells like flowers and vanilla. It actually smells a bit like Maxon. The same, faint, sweet smell that sticks to his skin sometimes. Pictures line the walls; mostly Maxon's doing, of course. Mom is in most pictures, and I smile when I see a picture of me with my arms wrapped around Mom. It was a day in the Women's Room during the Selection. It was Kriss's idea to have a day off there, and Celeste was actually really fun that day. There's another picture of Maxon and me outside the palace, his arms wrapped around my waist. We look like the happiest people on Earth.

Adele leads us to a room by the corner, and I don't quite know what to expect. I certainly don't expect air freshener and scented candles masking the smell of stale urine. The window is open, the sunlight streaming in through the open space.

Then there's Mom.

And I still recognize her.

Her smile is bright, like the sunlight that hits her cheek. Her arms are open, like the branches on trees. Mom's hair is so white it reminds me of corn silk.

"Maxon, dear?" she says, her voice creaking, like the wooden floorboards. "Is that you?"

Adele leaves the room and closes it.

Maxon lets go of my hand to hold his mother's. "Hi, Mom. How are you?"

Mom pulls him in for a hug. "I'm doing fantastic, Maxon." She sees me over his shoulder, and I brace myself for her question. She probably doesn't remember me. "America, honey? Don't just stand there. Come here."

I breathe a sigh of relief and give her a loose hug, but Mom does the opposite. Her thin arms pull me tightly to her, and I whisper, "Hi, Mom."

"America, dear, how is the baby?" she asks, and I almost laugh.

"They're not babies anymore, Mom."

"Oh?" She pulls back to look at the children behind me. "Where's Michael? I haven't seen him since he was in diapers."

I bite my lip to keep from crying. Maxon tells her what happens, only leaving out the pain in his voice. "Oh, my dears," she says, hugging both of us. "I'm so sorry."

I smile, trying to push away the thought. "Matthew, Rilane, and Xander are here, and a person Matthew would like to introduce."

"Where's the other girl?" she says, looking at the crowd of dumbstruck kids. "That doesn't look like my Alexandra."

Tess laughs behind her hand. "She's married now," Matthew says, grinning.

Then Mom frowns. "Clarkson? What are you doing here?" Her arms reach out for Matthew, and he draws nearer to give her a hug. "Clarkson, I thought you were gone," she whispers, almost close to tears.

"Grandma, it's Matthew," he says, looking at her with confusion. "Your grandson?"

"Clarkson, you're being crazy."

Maxon frowns and leaves the room. "Excuse me," he mumbles.

"Mom, this is my son Matthew," I say.

Her face slacks at the realization. "Oh. I'm sorry. I just thought..."

Maxon rushes back in with a picture of a young man in an impeccable suit in front of the palace. "It's Matthew," I say. The hair, blue eyes...I'm convinced, but there's something different. That's not my Matthew's smile.

"This is Father," Maxon says, "when he was nineteen."

"Wait, what?" Matthew grabs the picture out of his father's hands and holds it up to his face. The similarity is uncanny. "I look like my grandfather," he says numbly.

"Who's that girl over there?" Mom says, changing the topic quickly. She reaches for Tess, and the girl tentatively takes Mom's hand.

"I'm Tess, Your Majesty," she says, awestruck.

"Tess? I don't remember a Tess in my family."

"Grandma," Matthew interjects, "this is my fiancee. She's the princess of Italy."

"Oh!" Mom pulls her in roughly for a hug, and I can faintly hear Tess's shocked laugh. "Congratulations."

Xander and Rilane give her a hug too, and we sit around her bed as we try to keep her up. Rilane takes my hand when we tell her the entire story of Michael, and I cling to her. Her blue eyes are glassy, and I pull her to me. I can't lose another child. I can't afford to lose anybody else.

Matthew's the closest one to Mom, granting her request. Whenever I look at Matthew now, I just see the picture next to his own face. He is so different from Clarkson. I see Xander smiling at Mom. He's so much like Maxon, in that hopeful way where he only visualizes the good. I'm quite proud of how my children turned out. It pleases me to know I haven't totally failed.

Then I hear a gunshot, and the entire room tenses. No, no, no. Rilane flings open the door and starts to run outside, grabbing her little brother with her. Another gunshot, and I'm sure the bullet was aimed for the former queen; however, it grazes my son's arm instead, and he grits his teeth.

And suddenly, Mom's not breathing, and she is bleeding. I faintly see a rustle of movement on the many trees outside, and I grab Maxon's hand, pulling him away from the sight of his dead mother. I faintly see Tess grab a quasi-paralyzed Matthew, and I know they'll be okay.

"Max, we have to go!"

We run to the guards and they pack us in a car, and we drive away as the shots continue. Rilane and Xander must be in another car. Matthew and Tess will make it. They will make it. I will not lose another child.

Maxon tries to calm my breathing by rubbing slow circles on my back. Inhale, exhale. I feel ridiculous. I'm in a car, and my mother-in-law is dead, and my children are in danger.

We reach our house, the iron gates opening for us. We greet Rilane and Xander in the front of the main stairs. They run to us, and Xander cries, "Matthew's still there. Where's my brother, Mom?"

"They're not here!" Rilane says, grasping the back of Maxon's shirt.

"Send a search party," Maxon yells, and the guards rush to obey. "Search every perimeter of that house, every inch of that area."

"Maxon, how could we just leave them?" I say, throwing my head in my hands. "We were supposed to protect them. I saw Tess grab Matthew, and I thought they'd be okay. It's my fault. I should have made sure they made it outside."

"America, darling, please," he says. "Don't blame yourself."

"I'm so sorry, Max."

"My mother's in a better place," he sighs. "Just wait for a few minutes, and everyone will be safe and sound."

I nod, and we all go inside the house.

It comes the moment when the sunlight starts to dim, and the sky starts to turn hues of pink and orange. I want to yell at the world. This isn't fair.

A guard interrupts the quiet dinner and announces that Matthew and Tess are nowhere to be found.

* * *

_Tess's POV_

I seize Matt's left hand as he stands there, staring at his grandmother. He completely ignores the bleeding gash on his right arm. "Matthew!" I yell. "We have to go!"

He doesn't say anything as he allows me to drag him. Something finally clicks in his brain, and we both break into a frantic run. I see the front door, and I start to exit but soon guards drop to the sound of gunshots.

We can't go outside, or else we'll end up like them. I pull Matt back inside, and I find a staircase that leads downstairs to a cellar. There's another door, and I open it, revealing a tunnel. It's lit by dim bulbs hanging overhead. I run mindlessly while Matt grasps my hand. I can't stop. Not now, not ever. We'll always have to keep running.

After taking a few twists and turns, we find stairs leading up. I yank the rusty latch open and push the door open. Sawdust fills my mouth, and I cough. I rub my eyes to get the dust out, and I finally pull myself up to the dark room. I try and pull up Matthew with me, and eventually, we succeed.

"Find a light," I instruct.

He wordlessly searches the walls for a switch, and suddenly the room is filled with a subdued brightness. There's a wooden table on the side covered with a tarp and gardening tools. A neglected fireplace is along a stone wall with a pile of wood next to it. It's extremely dusty, and I cough. Matthew pats my back, still offering no words. I find a door along a wall and open it.

As I walk backwards to observe the structure, I find that it's a shed. In the middle of the forest. I can't see the house, much less any other signs of civilization. Trees entirely surround the shed, and it would be nearly impossible to find us. Even the small shed is obstructed from overhead sight by the thick canopy of trees.

We're in the middle of nowhere.

* * *

**Well, that gives you guys something to think about over the week :) Haha misuse of a smiley face. Happy Labor Day! **

**QOTD: Sooo what did you think of this chapter?/What is your guilty pleasure?**

**Answer to previous QOTD: Failure. I am so atychiphobic it's not funny. And actually, time kind of horrifies me. And the end of time. Sometimes I'm worried about the sun exploding, but it's probably not going to happen anytime soon.**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**Please-and-Thankyou's- It really depends on what your definition of "enough" is. The meaning of those kind of words vary in everybody's heads. Your version of enough might surpass everyone's definition of enough. You are perfect in so many ways, so I wouldn't bother with that fear :) (Kind of being a hypocrite here considering my fear is failure) :P Thanks so much!**

**marial0789- I hate messing up. I'm such a perfectionist. *sigh* Oh, well. Thanks so much!**

**ivyvian- Sorry my chapters are short, but here's a third update for the week :) That's such a horrible fear. I'm sorry. Thanks for reviewing!**

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Geographically impaired here :P Sorry about that. Ah, asphyxiation, another of my fears. And long reviews are awesome! Hope your brother's okay :) But um yeah, write reviews as long/short as you want. I just really appreciate them, and I love feedback and what's happening with everyone :) Thank you so much!**

**bubble4life- Aw I'm so sorry to hear that. I love freedom too. I really, absolutely hate when people tell me to do things that any other person would be capable of doing. It's hard to explain, and I sound super lazy, but there's a difference in being told what to do because you have to (like school/family stuff) and telling me to go buy these shoes or watch this because it's what THEY want. Yeah...Thanks so much!**

**Kiren- Saaam. He's such a cutie. I wish I was Six. I ship her and Sam. Super cute :) I love the cute nerdy guys. Nine's too badass for me. I wouldn't be able to handle it :P Thanks so much!**

**Athenachild101- Haha I almost never sign in when I review. I read from my phone so, like, I hate being redirected on a tiny screen just to sign in and sign out again. So tedious :P Thanks so much!**

**SJWrites2014- Uh, YEAH. They most certainly work. How do you come up with these? :P I updated quickly for these so I could get to this chapter. I've been planning this since The Fire. :P Thank you so much!**

**lilythemermaid- Haha yeah I was a bit confused at first. I was like "Is she T too?" :P Haha and yes I did know your fears, except for the claustrophobia. You actually kinda sound somewhat like Tobias, what with the claustrophobia and family dying thing :P My biggest fear is failure too, but you prob knew that already :) Thank you so much! LALOL- T**

**Blondie115- Glad you liked it!**

**Theoneforever- Technically speaking, I didn't kill Amberly. Haha plane rides always scare me. I always pray when I'm in one for a flight :P Thanks so much!**

**BellatrixHazelRose- They might get back together...after all this crap is done. :) Thanks!**

**PokemonLuver151- Eeek snakes. There was this one time I was on the way to church and there was just a random snake there and my mom started spazzing and it was the funniest thing to see. (But I was kinda screaming inside, but I acted like a nonchalant big girl because me dad was there :P ) Thanks so much!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	38. Chapter 37

_Tess's POV_

Nightfall hits and no help has come.

Matthew's arm is bleeding profusely, and for some unknown reason, this shed does not have a needle. Go figure.

I've sealed off the entrance to the shed just in case, and that may be an entirely stupid idea due to the fact that help could come our way through there, but I am not willing to risk it. The hatch is now covered with the work table upside down, the work bench on top, large pieces of fire wood that I may have to use eventually, and about everything I could find that seemed like it had weight.

And Matthew remains wordless. He doesn't utter a word, makes no sound as he watches the floor with blank eyes.

There is no offerings for food nor water, and I realize that hunting will probably be our last resort.

If Matthew has enough of his sanity, of course.

He moves, finally, after what seems like an eternity. He takes the tarp and dusts it off, only to set it on the ground and lie on it. He turns away from me to face the fireplace, and for once I am thankful. I can't bear to see his distraught face and expect myself to keep it together. It breaks my heart too much, almost to the point where it physically pains me to see his humorless blue eyes. It's like Michael died all over again, but I sense this is different.

Matt was angry, but now, he just seems so...defeated.

I see his shoulders shake, and I wonder if he's crying. I touch my face, now wet with a single tear, and wonder if I'm crying too. I realize later on that he's actually shivering in his t-shirt, and I get two pieces of firewood. I've never built a fire before, and the closest thing I've ever done to building a fire is crashing that plane. Then again, I never even crashed it.

I have it set up, I just don't quite know how to start it. Matt sidles up to me and has a stick in his hand. He rubs it quickly and meticulously, like he's done this before. There's a small furrow in between his brows, and I would think it cute if the situation wasn't so bleak. The blood starts to trickle a bit faster with his movements, and I almost make it stop. But soon, I hear a sizzle and a hint of smoke, and a small flame appears, growing until it engulfs most of the branches.

"Thanks," I murmur.

He throws the stick into the fire and returns to the tarp, sitting up to stare at the blaze.

"Are you hungry?" I say. "I could go look for food. You know, hunt a bit, look for fish in a river, or something."

I see a minute shake of his head, and at that moment, I hear my stomach growl. I settle next to him and put my hand over his. He doesn't make any movement to brush it off, but he doesn't take it either.

"Are you okay?" I ask, expecting no response. But he shakes his head, and a tear drops from the corner of his eye.

And it shatters me.

I hold him to me, and he cries on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around his body as it is racked by sobs. I find myself crying with him, because it is so, so painful to see him this way. I just saw a woman die before my eyes, a woman who never got to be my grandmother.

I run my hand up and down Matthew's back, and I can still feel the elevated scars. I wonder how this boy keeps going. So many things have happened, and he still manages to find some motivation, some incentive for him to move on. He is so brave and fearless in so many ways, and I think that's why it terrifies me to see him like this.

I move so that we're lying on our sides, and tears drip from his right eye, over the bridge of his nose, and down to the tarp. My thumb wipes his tears away, and he closes his eyes.

We cry ourselves to sleep.

* * *

_America's POV_

The next morning, I wake up in Maxon's arms. I was expecting him to be up and alert to search for our children, but somehow, he's still here, lying with his arm around my waist.

I realize he isn't up yet because it's two in the morning. I'm obviously much more restless than he is. He must have complete faith in the guards and Matthew and Tess if he is able to sleep.

Every possible thought wakes me up, and suddenly, fear encapsulates me like a suffocating gag. I stare at Maxon for a while to calm myself. His blond hair flops into his lashes, and I would think him peaceful had it not been for the tiny creases on his forehead.

Even in his sleep, he is not truly at ease.

And here I thought he was fine.

He suddenly squirms a little, and his breathing quickens. He wakes with a start, his brown eyes wide and fearful as he releases me and sits up quickly.

"Max," I whisper, sitting up with him. "It's alright."

He looks at me like he's just realized I'm here. "America," he says. He grabs me and holds me to his arms, as if he thought he lost me. "I miss her. I miss them. I miss him."

I nod with my face buried in his neck. "I miss all of them too," I say, my voice wavering. _No, I will not cry._

Maxon takes my face in his hands, and he smiles sadly. "Oh, Ames," he says, kissing my nose lightly, "you don't have to be so strong all the time."

And I lose it. Tears run down my face onto Maxon's hands, and he holds me closer to him again. "I can't lose anyone anymore," I say. "I'm so tired of losing people."

"I know, America. I know."

"Maxon," I say, because there is nothing else to say.

"I've arranged a memorial," he says quietly. "For every important person in our lives."

How does this man keep going? He has lost so many, yet he keeps moving forward, like nothing holds him back.

"Please don't leave me," I whimper. "I can't lose you. Not now, not ever."

Maxon holds me tighter. "Never, darling. I would never leave you. I will stay with you until all the stars diminish to nothing, until the asteroids hurtle towards the sun. Which, as the astronomy tutor said a very long time ago, would never happen."

I laugh weakly, and I have to love my husband's effort to make things easier.

"We'll find them, Ames," he promises, so intently I believe him. "We'll go back to the house tomorrow."

A thought suddenly dawns on me. "Maxon, what about Adele?"

His face drops, and his shoulders sag as if this physically taxes him. Adele was the last parental figure in his life who was actually genetically related to him. Maxon doesn't even have anyone from the Schreave family line anymore. Well, not anyone we know of.

Maxon dries my tears with his thumbs, and I kiss his palm. He slides it into my hair and pulls me closer to kiss me lightly. "We should sleep, my dear," he says, lying down with me. "There's no use in worrying now."

I nod, and I feel myself succumb to sleep, yet I know Maxon will not be able to sleep anymore.

* * *

**Well, that was depressing as hell. Um, I should be writing for school, but naw. Essay's aren't liberating. There's no creativity required and it freaking sucks. **

**QOTD: How's school?**

**Answer to previous QOTD: My guilty pleasure is chocolate/chocolate-covered fruit. Mm. **

**Sorry about not being able to answer reviews. I apologize deeply.**

**I do have a new song uploaded on my soundcloud :) It's one of the songs on the supposed album, so yeah. Just look up AcademicGirl and you'll find me :) Thank you guys so, so much for the reviews! I can't thank you guys more!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	39. Chapter 38

_America's POV_

We survey the area around the house, and my heart shatters like the glass windows. I don't even want to know where the guards are taking the dead bodies. The air reeks of blood and metal, and the brisk wind carries the smell to us. Xander follows Maxon inside, and Rilane puts her hand around her mouth. She's always had a sensitive gag reflex. I embrace my daughter to me, and I can feel her slightly trembling.

Rilane and I wait outside until the house is entirely evacuated. Among the bodies are Mom's and Adele's, and my vision becomes blurry with tears. Maxon and Xander return to us, and worried, anguished frowns appear on their faces.

"You might want to come with us, girls," Maxon says, gesturing inside. We follow him, and a guard accompanies us. Maxon leads us to some basement, but it ends up being a long tunnel.

"I used to explore the tunnels as a kid," says Maxon, his voice bouncing against the stone walls. We walk in silence, the sadness invading our minds.

After walking about five minutes, we find a set of stairs that lead up. There's a rusty latch, and Xander is quick to rush up the stairs and push the square-shaped door open. He continues to try shoving it open, but something seems to be in the way. He tries knocking.

"Matt, Tess, it's us. Open up."

* * *

_Tess's POV_

My eyes widen, and I look at Matt. "Do you think it's really them?" I ask. But he still doesn't speak. He hasn't spoken a single word.

I sigh, and I start to push the table and the many things on top of it out of the way. Matt starts to help, but I stop him. "Your arm," I say. He takes a step back, and I pull the hatch open. The first thing I see is Xander's green eyes, and he tackles me in a hug, surprisingly.

"Hi," I breathe. He rushes to Matthew, and Rilane embraces me next. Mom and Dad do the same, their faces tight with anxiety.

"We're glad you're alright," Dad says.

"I can't say the same about Matthew," I whisper.

They both hurry to him, and only then do I realize how exhausted I am. Exhausted of everything. Why are we even here? Why are we brought upon this world only to see other people suffer? I just want to scream.

"We should get home," Maxon says, an arm around Matthew. "The memorial is tomorrow."

"Matthew was shot," I blurt, and Matthew's defeated eyes cut into mine.

They worry about him, saying things in distressed, high-pitched tones, and I start to descend into the tunnel. I walk by myself, glad I can cry without anyone to see me. I hear their voices behind me and continue to walk with emptiness.

* * *

_Matthew's POV_

At the hospital, they inject some stuff in my veins. I can't feel anything, but I know I'm still awake. I'm in pain, I know, but all I can see is my grandmother, bleeding before my eyes. I remember the feeling of that bullet cutting my left arm and sinking into her chest.

God, I'm so morbid right now. Everything is hazy. The drug must be doing its job well.

I can feel everything and see everything, but at the same time, I feel and see nothing. I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I know is I'm in a hospital room with my brother at my bedside.

And it's not Xander.

"Hey, Matt," Michael says, smiling. He looks as if I've seen him just yesterday; so familiar and so unchanged. "Don't worry, you're not dead."

I don't say anything, and he smiles comfortingly. "Grandma's in a better place now," he says. "She's here, with Eva and me."

I still can't say anything.

"Matthew, you should probably talk to people. Everyone's really worried. I understand you're traumatized, but really, there is no reason to be. Grandma is fine."

Suddenly, he morphs into my grandmother, yet she is not silver-haired and wrinkled. She has beautiful hair, and it brings out the color of her brown eyes. "Hello, Matthew."

"Grandma," I croak, my voice cracking from long hours of no use.

She smiles kindly. "There you go."

She fades into the walls, and my eyes fly open. I'm in a hospital room now, with Tess sitting on the floor. I wonder why she's always on the floor, holding my hand. It reassures me to no end, and I just feel lucky to have her here. My thumb brushes the top of her hand, and she groans a bit before sitting up. She smiles and relief floods her face.

"Matthew," she breathes, holding my right hand tighter.

I smile weakly, still exhausted and bleary. I pull her into the cot next to me, and I notice she's just taken a shower. She's wearing jeans and a sweater that vaguely looks like mine.

"How are you?" she whispers softly.

I shrug a shoulder minutely. "Mom and Dad just left, because I told them to go get rest," she says. "It's, like, three in the morning. Xander and Rilane went to go get food because I guess they got hungry." She laughs gently.

I feel really filthy, and the only sterile part of me at the moment seems to be my freshly sown arm.

"Do you want water?" she asks, already sitting up to grab a glass on a table. She offers the glass and I take a sip.

"Thanks," I whisper.

Tess sighs, smiling, and puts the water back. "Thank you. For speaking. The doctors thought you were brain dead, or post traumatic stress disorder."

I don't know what made me talk. Maybe it was that drug-induced vision of Grandma looking young and healthy. Maybe it's because I know now that whatever shit happens people will always be here.

"I couldn't be brain dead for my own wedding," I say quietly, kissing her nose.

She laughs a bit, kissing my cheek. "You should probably go back to sleep."

"But I want to stay awake."

I kiss her lips this time, and I feel like I haven't done this in months.

"Have I told you how excited I am to be married to you?" I mumble against her mouth.

She giggles a little, and kisses me one last time before she lays her head against the pillow. I hold her to me, promising silently to never let her go.

* * *

_Tess's POV_

The night before the wedding, I sit outside on the balcony of my room. According to tradition, apparently, I'm not allowed to see Matthew until tomorrow.

But I can't sleep.

I'm so used to having him next to me, and now that he's not, I fee like something's missing.

I start to hum softly, looking at the gardens here. It's much bigger and more extravagant than the ones at home, in Angeles, and maybe that's why I don't like it that much. Italy is my second home, I suppose, but it just seems foreign (pun intended).

"Tess?" I hear someone whisper over the wall.

I laugh. "Matthew."

I see a hand reach around the wall that separates us, and I confirm that, yes, this is my Matthew. Only his fingertips are callused the way his are. I take his hand.

"You nervous?" he says, lacing his fingers with mine.

"A bit. I think I'm just worried about forgetting my vows."

He laughs, and I'm upset I can't see him. "Only you, Tess."

"Is it so sacrilegious that I can't just say 'love ya?'" I say, feigning exasperation.

He laughs again. "Yes, because you need to promise that you will love me forever."

"That's included in the 'love ya,'" I explain, laughing along with him.

We talk about this like it's some test at school, only because we want to clear the nerves. "Italy's pretty at night," he says, quietly this time.

"Yeah, I remember from the last time we were here."

I can hear him chuckle. "That night club, though..."

"Yes, that's what I remember," I say, laughing.

He takes a deep breath, and it sounds tight. "Are you okay?" I ask.

"Yeah," he breathes. "I just...you know."

I do know. He's been having a hard time breathing lately. I'm not sure if it's his heart condition or if it's stress induced.

"You're my best friend, you know," he says after a while.

I can't help but laughing. "That makes me really happy, actually."

I love the fact that we trust each other, that we confess every feeling. I love that I knew his nervous tics and habits. I love how we're similar but not identical.

A knock presents itself on my front door, and I sigh. "We should probably sleep, Matt."

"Yeah," he laughs, "probably."

"Good night," I say, and he gives my hand one last squeeze.

"Good night, love."

* * *

**So wedding next chapter? Sorry if this was a bit choppy and fast-paced. I'm pretty sure this story will be ending soon, because it doesn't need to be dragged out. Any thoughts on what should happen next after the wedding? (Don't be shy.)**

**I just really want to say thank you guys soooo much for still reading and reviewing! Like, it's September 2014 now, and I began this journey in December 2013. That's nine months, kids. NINE MONTHS. Do you know how thankful I am that people are still reading this? That's so amazing, and really, I couldn't be more thankful. **

**Oh, okay, so I'm not sure why I'm telling you guys this, but I had a really cool dream last night, and I was so upset when I woke up.**

**QOTD: Name a really cool/bizarre/interesting you've had.**

**Answer to previous QOTD: School, I guess, is getting better. Not easier, but better. It makes me feel so lazy to hear people playing sports or doing like two hour rehearsals everyday and homework, and I'm like, "Oh, ya know, I write fanfiction." That's why I feel like there's no excuse for me to get anything less than a B. Oh, expectations.**

**Thanks for the reviews!**

**Athenachild101- Haha so true. That's the best summary of school I've ever seen :) I really want to go to Stanford, so I feel like I have to do everything I can to increase my chances of getting in. I don't even know what I want to major in, but I really want to go to Stanford, and I don't even know why, I just do. Thank you for reviewing!**

**SJWrites2014- Ooh "Away." That's so poignant :) Hope you liked this update! (It kinda sucked.) :P Thank you so much!**

**Please-and-Thankyou's- Yeah, school is okay. :) I'm kinda getting used to the expectations and stuff. Yay honors classes! -_- So, yeah, there's that. This chapter wasn't nearly as sad, I hope. Thanks so much!**

**marial0789- It was depressing, but I hope this one was happier. Yeah, I don't play sports, so I can't relate :-/ Thanks so much!**

**lilythemermaid- Lol you're so clever, O :P Nah, this story is getting suckier every chapter I write. That's why I kinda wanna end it already :P Thank you so much! LALOL**

**Miaforevez- Aw you cried :') And new phone? Pretty cool stuff! Thanks so much!**

**Kiren- Did you have a depressing dream? Haha thanks so much!**

**PokemonLuver151- I'm enjoying, it's just hard :P Thank you so much!**

**Theoneforever- I'm so glad you liked it even though it was sad! Thank you so much!**

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Ooh I don't play sports, so I can't relate :P School is taking over my life tbh. Glad you liked the chapter! Thanks so much!**

**winterprincess- Did this get better? :P OMG I KNOW ABOUT THE MOCKINGJAY TRAILER :D SO excited! Thank you so much!**

**dakotamo- Aw did you really cry? Haha thank you so much!**

**Olive- Aw, thank you so much! This was so sweet! I really wish I could see this book as a movie :) That would be cool. Thank you so much!**

**go selection- I'm glad you love my story! And people have been using my name? What?! Please name the stories where people have commented as me. Thanks for telling me. **

**ilona18- School is totally dominating everything right now haha. Good luck with your swimming! Thanks so much!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	40. Chapter 39

_Tess's POV_

The dress is absolutely stunning.

It isn't heavy at all; in fact, it's almost as light as air. The embroidered bodice laces at the back like a corset, but thank God, I can actually breathe in it. Well, as close to breathing as I can as I'm having a near anxiety attack. The skirts fall down around me like a thick, white, waterfall, and it conceals my strapped heels. It almost seems unfit for a princess, to be dressed so modern, but I love it, and so does the country (they did vote for it, after all).

My hair is pinned up, and soft tendrils fall around my face. My makeup is still kept light, but my lips are painted a dainty red. My maids place the tiara Mom gave me, and I wear my infinity necklace. I even wear my anklet from Maria.

All my mothers are in here with me, in the dressing room—Laura, my foster mother; Queen Rosalinda, my biological mother; and Queen America, my future mother-in-law, my official mother-in-law in, like, thirty minutes.

Oh, my gosh.

They fuss over me meticulously, arranging pieces of hair, or rearranging my jewelry. They tell me I'm beautiful, that they're proud of me, and I almost cry, but I'm so overcome by the anxiety.

What if Matthew decides to back out?

It's a silly thought, but it still horrifies me.

If I add two letters and subtract two words to that thought, everything becomes more terrifying: What if Matthew blacks out?

No.

Stop.

"It is time, Teresa," Mama says in Italian, leading me out.

Maria joins me and gives me a hug. "You ready, Sis?"

I take a breath and take my bouquet of red flowers. "I'm ready."

* * *

_Matthew's POV_

I refrain myself from pacing at the front of the aisle. The entire basilica is waiting for Tess, and I'm afraid she's not going to show up.

What if she decides to back out?

I change some words, and the second question becomes more horrible: What if she blanks out?

I catch Father's eye, and he smiles almost imperceptibly. Most eyes are on him, but I'm betting all eyes are on me. And I'm not even being cocky.

Then the orchestra begins, and I stand straighter as everyone else rises. The big doors open, and my God, I have never seen a more beautiful thing in my life.

Tess walks in, holding herself in a way that she's never done before. She looks so sure and so happy, like she finally has everything she's wanted. She looks at me and then looks down. Is that a blush I detect? I half-smile and half-smirk, laughing at the mere thought of wanting to tease her.

She walks forward, and all I see is her. No cameras, no people, just her, like my peripheral vision has stopped working and all I see is her. She looks spectacular in her dress. Tess looks frail and strong in such an oxymoronic way (I'm not even entirely sure if oxymoronic is a word, but I'm going to use it). A tiara adorns her head, yet her eyes sparkle more than that superficial item.

Both her fathers bring her to me—King Lorenzo, as well as Alfonso, her foster father.

Before I know it, she's right in front of me. Alfonso, who is holding her right hand, places her hand in mine. She grasps it tightly, smiling like she couldn't be happier.

"Take care of her," he whispers.

King Lorenzo nods in assent. "_Che Dio te benedica._"

I smile and nod, and they walk away.

"Nice seeing you here, love," I whisper to Tess, soft enough so the microphones don't pick it up.

She breathes a laugh, mindful of the microphones thing too. "You, too, Matty"

I relish every minute of the ceremony; after all, it is for us.

Finally the vows come, and I turn to Tess, trying so hard to conceal my smile, to suppress my laugh.

* * *

_Tess's POV_

"Do you, Matthew Sebastian," says the pope, "take Teresa Francesca to be your lawfully wedded wife? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect her, forsaking all others and holding only to her forevermore?"

"I do," Matt says, never leaving his eyes off me.

"And do you, Teresa Francesca, take Matthew Sebastian as your lawfully wedded husband? Do you promise to love, honor, cherish, and protect him, forsaking all others and holding only to him forevermore?"

"I do," I say, my voice quivering a little.

The pope then places my hand in Matthew's, and I'm so nervous I swear he can feel my sweaty palms. But he seems to be doing the same thing, and it reassures me to no end.

"I, Matthew Sebastian," he begins, "take Teresa Francesca as my wife." We actually haven't heard each other's vows yet, so this will be a bit interesting to hear. "I will love you for so long as I shall live. I will cherish you in every way that I can. I will hold you till death do us part. For, Tess, you are the sun who rises in the east and graces the earth with her presence. You have made me a better man, and I plan to be the best husband."

My heart beats faster with every word he speaks. I can see the faint traces of a smirk upon his smile, and I would raise my eyebrow, except I am near tears at hearing the intense sincerity in his eyes and in his voice.

"I, Teresa Francesca," I start, and I notice my voice wavers. Matt comfortingly squeezes my hand in his, but not so tightly that it will be obvious. "Take Matthew Sebastian as my husband. I promise to care for you as you have cared for me. I will love you for the rest of my life, and I vow to be your everything, because you are mine."

He smiles a bit, just a small one that's meant to be surreptitious and only for me.

He puts the ring on me, a simple wedding band of gold with our names engraved in the interior. I do the same to him, and I'm afraid I'm doing things in the wrong order, but everything continues without interruption.

We kneel to sign our names, and a bunch of things happen, and all I want to do is leave because I want Matthew all to myself, away from prying eyes and eager faces.

"You may now kiss the bride," I hear, and Matthew turns me gently.

I take a breath, and he pulls my lips to him softly, almost timidly. His lips linger on mine for the shortest amount of time, but it promises more. I can almost decipher the word "tonight" as he pulls away.

* * *

_Matthew's POV_

The reception at the palace is warm and heavy. People are loud as they congratulate us,

_We're finally married. And I didn't pass out._

We spend hours drifting past people who greet us. We are urged to dance, and we walk to the middle of the ballroom. I pull her close to me and whisper in her ear all the things we're planning to do during our honeymoon. Her ears warm beneath my lips, and I take pleasure in the way her breath stutters.

"Let's leave," she whispers breathlessly.

"Maybe we should."

The song ends and more people join the center of the ballroom to dance. I lead Tess by the hand to the room where I stay. She laughs, albeit nervously, as I close the door behind me.

I take my time looking at her, brushing the hair of her neck. "Hello, beautiful," I whisper, smiling.

She looks in my eyes. "Hello to you too, handsome." She buries her hand in my hair, tickling my scalp. She tiptoes a bit to kiss me, and I can feel the shy smile playing on her lips. She kisses me like she's never been kissed, like she wants to take her time, and it's doing funny things to my heartbeat, to my breathing.

"We're married," I say into her mouth, slowly leading her to the bed.

She smiles again. "We're married," she repeats.

The kiss gets deeper, hungrier, and I practically rip the dark blue uniform off me. Soon my undershirt is gone and so are our shoes. I set her carefully on the bed, and she laughs, and I laugh too, because we are both so nervous our laughter is uncontrollable. We try to stop, but we end up laughing again.

"What are we doing?" she laughs, tracing my lips lightly with her fingers.

"We are being husband and wife," I say, grinning, and leaning down to kiss a soft spot beneath her ear. She sighs, and I just want to rip her dress open, but I have enough restraint.

"Are we really doing this?" she whispers again, trailing her fingers up and down my arm.

I nod, my nose brushing her collarbone. "Unless you're not ready," I say quickly. "We don't have to do it tonight."

She laughs, as if the mere thought is silly, then we hear a door slam, and our eyes widen like the moment has been shattered.

"That could have been any of our family," she says, still keeping her eyes on mine. "I...I don't know if we should do this here. I want to do it, just...not now."

I nod, a bit upset. I smile weakly to compensate for it. "Alright, love."

"Tomorrow night," she whispers, and she kisses me more heatedly than before. It disappoints me that this is the farthest we will be going tonight, but at least I know she wants it too.

We woke up fairly early this morning, so we are both exhausted. I lie beside my wife, my love, and turn off the lights.

And we fall asleep.

* * *

**How anticlimactic was that? Nah, I'm guessing no one was too upset. If I got anything wrong about the order of weddings, forgive me; the last wedding I attended was six years ago.**

**HAPPY MEAN GIRLS DAY! IT'S OCTOBER 3! I meant to update my Mean Girls fic but I wanted to update this instead, because this is ending sooner. I think I'm just going to end all my stories because I'm losing inspiration and writing abilities. Sigh.**

**And, oh, if this story ever becomes the most reviewed story in this site, I will dance and sing my throat out and eat chocolate. Thank yoooou!**

**QOTD ("stolen" from Please-and-Thankyou's): What movie do you really want to watch? I want to watch _Clueless _and _Paper Towns _so badly. **

**Answer to previous QOTD: I don't think I have a weirdest dream. They're all pretty funky. **

**Thanks so much for the reviews! I'm so, so sorry I haven't responded to them as of late, but I'll try to change that.**

**miaforevez- Haha hate the phone but come on it's a phone :P I'm so glad you love this story! Thank you so much for still reading!**

**Theoneforever- I hope you liked the wedding :) I'm so glad you're still reading this! Thank you so much!**

**Please-and-Thankyou's- Lol short circuiting. My brain does that more often than I'd like :) Ooh movie? I really want to see _If I Stay. _Idk why, I just do. Um, I want to see _Paper Towns _next year (!). What about you? What movie do you want to see? Thanks so much!_  
_**

**Kiren- His heart doesn't fail. At his wedding. :) Thanks so much!**

**SJWrites2014- Ooh good title. And no suckage :P Thank you so much! I hope you liked this chapter!**

**PokemonLuver151- I hope you liked this chapter! School is getting better :) Thanks so much!**

**Guest- Aw I'm so glad you love this story! Thank you soooo much!**

**Olive- Awww this review is sooooo sweet! If this was a movie, it would be the greatest :) Romantic honeymoon, eh? How romantic, though? Jk you don't have to answer that one :P Thank you so much!**

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Lol "What am I going to do with my life now" is a question I ask all the time. That is a fascinating dream :P Thank you so much for still reading and reviewing!**

**winterprincess- Aw I'm so glad you appreciated the part sadness and part happiness :) I love how you said can't see but feel. That makes me so happy as a writer, because I feel like my writing "skills" are getting...I don't know the proper word...deficient? And I recall your saying you found my figurative language in some chapter particularly good in "The Fire" and I want to thank you so, so much because I swear you have been the one who reviewed from like the very first chapters of my first story and that is so invaluable :) Thank you so much! P.S. I'm so excited for _The Heir _ahhhhhhh! And don't worry, I knew :)**

**ItsjustSam- New reviewer! Aww this was sooo sweet :D Thank you sooooo much! Your emotional journey sounds so great hahaha. STOP READING FANFICTION AND GO STUDY! Just kidding, I procrastinate all the time. It would probably take me an hour and a half to read and annotate three chapters a night, but I get so distracted (thanks Vine/Instagram -_-). So yeah. There's that :) Just do your best at school and you'll be fine...I should really take my own advice. I have anxiety attacks over the smallest things, I swear. Alrighty, I'm boring you to death now. Thank you so much!**

**LittleMissTori- Aw always perfect? Thanks gurl! I totally get what you mean about high school! I totally love it but the work is jank ugh. Oh, well. Friday night, I don't care. Imma do my homework on Sunday *thumbs up*. Thank you so much!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	41. Chapter 40

**_IMPORTANT:_**

**Um, okay, so this is _THE _scene. I kind of hope you know what I'm talking about. This chapter, I guess, might be considered rated M, but it won't go into detail. If you know avaatquevale2250's fic called _One Night with the Prince_, it's probably going to be something like that. If you don't want to read this chapter, it's fine. "THE Scene" will be after several dashes and underscores, so if you wanna know what they do on their honeymoon, you're welcome to read it. If you don't want to read "THAT Scene," then don't read past the dashes and underscores.  
**

**QOTD: ****Do you have a crush on someone/have a significant other? (It doesn't have to be a real person; it can be a fictional character *cough* Maxon Schreave *cough*.)**

**Thank you guys sooo much for the reviews! I love you guys!**

**CONTEST FOR THIS CHAPTER FOR THOSE WHO CHOOSE TO READ IT: Look for the symbols and metaphors. Whoever catches the most wins a chapter dedicated to them. **

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**

* * *

_Tess's POV_

I wake up warm and to something brushing my back, now exposed to the open air with the laces loosened and nearly undone. I smile when the soft feathers move to my shoulder blade, then between my shoulders, then my neck.

I squirm and the kisses cease; knowing Matthew, he's probably worried he woke me up. I turn around to face him completely, and I admire his bare chest in the filtered sunlight. I run my hands over his abdomen, and he holds me closer.

"Good morning, my wife," he says affectionately, kissing my nose.

"Mm, I like the sound of that, my husband."

"I like that one even better."

I kiss his chest then his shoulder.

"You're making it hard for me to wait, Tess," he says in a low, teasing voice.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Matty boy."

The arm wrapped around my back pulls my chest flush to his. "Don't lie to me," he growls, and I bite my lip.

His lips nearly brush mine, but I decide I want to be mean, so I escape his grasp and roll off the bed. "We've got a long day ahead of us, Matt."

"Ugh, you're no fun, love."

"I really should have taken my wedding dress off," I say, unlacing the bodice completely. "Thanks for taking the skirts part off, though. It was a lot nicer wearing the slip underneath. And thanks for loosening the ties at the back. I probably would be dead by now from asphyxiation."

I can hear him laughing softly from the bed. "Why are you laughing?" I ask mockingly.

He sits up and gets out of bed. "You still have no idea where we're going for our honeymoon."

"Ugh, I hate not knowing."

"I know you do, and I think it's adorable when you're frustrated."

"Yeah, you won't think it's too adorable when I get mad." I turn to him and put down my hairbrush.

He starts to look genuinely worried as he settles back down on the bed. "Why are you setting the brush down?"

"Hair brushing can wait. I want to wreak havoc first." I run to the bed and jump on top of him to tickle his bare stomach. I know it's a lost cause because I know Matthew won't succumb to it, but apparently, what I think I know isn't always right.

It turns out Matthew is more ticklish than I am. I've moved my fingers faster on guitar strings, but Matt is laughing like a drunk.

"Stop, stop, stop!" he yells. "I'm done. Stop, I'm tired!"

"Say you're sorry!" I say, stopping for a moment.

He looks me dead in the eye and says, "Never."

"That does it."

He continues to laugh and hiccup as I relentlessly tickle his bare stomach.

"Okay, I'm sorry!"

I stop and sit up, still on his stomach. "Good."

"My turn."

"What?"

He rolls us over and pins me down. I am breathless from laughing, and so is he. Our heavy breaths share the small space between us.

"What a compromising position we are in, love."

I raise an eyebrow and smirk. "We're married," I whisper. "We can do whatever we want."

He smiles devilishly and pecks my lips once. "We really have to get ready, love. We're headed to someplace where you need to pack clothes meant for winter."

"Hmm? Really now?"

"First hint, love. Now let's go."

* * *

_Matthew's POV_

I love snowboarding. It's not really a passion pursued in Angeles, but when I'm in the mountains, I feel like anything is possible.

"It's beautiful," Tess says, in awe. I can hear her in my headphones. The helicopter offers a view airplanes can't. Tess is holding my hand, because her fear of heights still overcomes her at times, but she seems a little braver today. We look at the sparkling snow together, at the way the sun glares off the white powder on the mountain.

"You up for snowboarding later, love?"

I see her raise her eyebrows. "Snowboarding?"

"Oh, yeah. Don't worry if you don't know how. I'll guide you every step of the way."

She smiles at that, and continues to admire the view.

The helicopter lands by our family cabin near the base of the mountains. There aren't anymore near us, so the next person in our vicinity would be hundreds of miles away. The cabin is exactly how I remember it. It's not too big, but it's adequate enough for a family like mine. The walls are wooden, and icicles hang off the edges.

Two guards bring in our bags, and for the sake of tradition, I carry Tess into my arms bridal style. She laughs and puts her arms around my neck. I set her down gently on the floor, and we both take a look around.

The walls are, of course, buried in pictures taken by my father. They're beautiful, as always. I smile sadly when I see Michael on nearly every one of them, but I grin when I see a picture of us kids and our mother. It's a candid picture in front of the cabin. My fist is raised midair and aimed at Michael, who has his hands up in defense. Alexandra's sitting with a book by Rilane, who's in the middle of making a snowman. Mother holds a pink baby Xander in her arms.

"I love it, Matt," Tess says, breaking me from my memories.

I turn to her. "Yeah?"

"Yeah."

I grab her hand. "Come on, I'll show you the room."

I catch the slight blush that covers her ears, and I laugh at how cute she's being. "So this is the bedroom." It's a four-poster king-sized bed (duh) with velvet covers. The room itself is warm and wooden with a fireplace. "Don't worry, love," I say, "no one has made love on this bed." And then I nudge her shoulder with mine. "Yet."

She giggles nervously but says, "Shut up."

"Okay, well, let's go snowboarding first, and we can do fun stuff later."

We put on our gear and head to the mountains by car. When we get to the ski resort, people are already there.

I love the way Tess looks so excited yet afraid as we ascend on the ski lift. "What if I fall?" she says.

"Then I'll be there to catch you."

* * *

_Tess's POV_

Snowboarding is horrific for me. Matt makes it look so easy as he glides between pine trees. I probably look like a duck trying to be a fish. I can't move the way he does. There's some finesse that enhances the way he snowboards, and damn, it is so sexy.

He's patient with me as he tries to teach me how to ride. Lean this way for right, lean this way for left, do this to brake. It's harder than it sounds. I start on the bunny hill, and I feel silly for snowboarding with kids and still falling. But Matt helps me up with a slow laugh that makes my heart race and helps me.

"Snowboarding clearly isn't my thing," I say when we are in the lodge for lunch. He buys me hot chocolate without asking if I wanted it, and I'd be upset if it wasn't exactly what I wanted. He has his own mug of the heavenly beverage, and he grins over the brim.

"That's fine. It takes time to learn. You're actually pretty good for a first-timer."

I roll my eyes. "No need to lie to your wife, Matt."

He smiles again, longingly this time, and I frown. "What? Do I have a milk mustache?"

Matt chuckles, saying no. When we're done with lunch, we continue to snowboard until the sun is nearly on the horizon.

"We better start heading home, my love," Matt says at the bottom of a particularly difficult mountain. "I have an excellent dinner planned."

"I feel like you do all the work in our relationship, Matt," I say, nearly whining as we exit the resort and walk to the car.

"Your presence is work enough. The fact that you're even married to me is already work for you."

I laugh because he's being so funny and so sweet and I just love him so much.

* * *

_Tess's POV_

Dinner, courtesy of Matthew, is amazing. The dish he prepared is steaming hot and full of amazing spices I can't even name. I didn't even realize I was hungry.

We finish dinner, and we wash the dishes quietly. I think we're both stalling for time before we have to "do it." We had this discussion with the advisers weeks ago, and apparently, it's required for royals to consummate their marriage within days. Matthew and I are no exception.

And I'm terrified.

I take one look at Matthew, and my face heats up and I suddenly can't think straight and I'm thinking _Oh, my gosh, it's gonna hurt like hell._

I go to the room before Matthew does to steel myself. We're not allowed to use a contraception. I have to look at least pleasing for him. Perris gave me lingerie, like she did with Eva, but I don't think I can wear it.

So I just keep my loose sweater and my jeans on. I brush my teeth in the bathroom, and my hands are shaking as I do it. When I enter the room again, I yelp when I see Matthew already there, looking at the picture frame on the desk.

He smiles when he sees me, and the butterflies almost leave. "Hello, love. Fancy seeing you here."

We're married, and he still makes me feel like a silly teenage girl. "Hi," I squeak.

I wonder how he's feeling. He looks so suave. In fact, he's the epitome of finesse and suave. I bet he isn't nervous at all.

* * *

_Matthew's POV_

I'm freaking out. I've never done this before! My heart is racing like crazy, and I'm praying to God I don't just pass out on top of her. Oh, God, what if I do pass out while we're doing it?!

I smile at Tess, as if I'm at ease, and approach her. "I hope you had a good day."

She's chewing her lip and playing with her ring, and I am so glad she's nervous too. "I did, Matt. Today was amazing. I loved it, and I wouldn't trade this day for the world."

"I'm glad. I'm glad you loved it." I finally reach her, and I take her hands. "I am so glad I can make you happy. When I make you happy, I'm happy. I would actually trade this day for the world, because you are my world, and I can't let you go. You make everything better on a good day, and everything better on a bad day. You make me smile when no one else can, and you've made me felt things I've never felt before."

Her ears turn red, and she smiles, looking away. "I don't know what I did to deserve you."

"Stop. If anything, it's the other way around."

"Matthew, when I bumped into you, it could have been a passing of two people. I could have said goodnight, and you wouldn't have kissed my hand and smirked. You didn't have to pay attention to me when I selfishly wanted it most. You are everything I ever wanted, and you are my everything. I've never met a person who was so passionate about everything, and I've never met a person who loved me so wholly. And, Matthew, you are the first and only person that I've loved this way. Nothing can change that."

I lean closer. "I'm happy."

"I'm happy too," she replies, with one of her lighted smiles that could power an entire city. She goes on the tips of her toes to bridge the gap between us.

We haven't kissed like this in weeks. Her lips set me on fire, and I can't help but feel excited, because we'll finally be able to do something reckless without anyone knowing the details.

I grip her hips and lift her up so she can put her legs around my waist. I plop her unceremoniously on the bed, and she laugh. I catch one more smile before she closes her eyes, and I turn off the lights.

-_-_-_-_-_-_-Tess's POV-_-_-_-_-_-_-

Matthew's heavy breath hits my ear, and I bury my hand in his soft hair. I can still see his blue eyes in the dark as the full moon light makes it way into our room.

His hands slip underneath my sweater and my tank top underneath, and he touches my scars with the tips of his fingers. He smiles when he does it, like he actually thinks it's beautiful instead of atrocious. He slips off my sweater, and when it's removed, he laughs at my hair that sticks up from static. He smooths it down and runs his hands through it, and I can't help but think how amazing he is and that I'm married to this amazing person.

He kisses my bare shoulder gently. Then he kisses my collarbone, then my neck, then a spot beneath my ear that makes me sigh. I smile at him when he pulls back to look at me.

"I love you, Matthew," I whisper, playing with the hem of his shirt.

He smiles back too. It's not a laughing smile, or a joking one, but it's a small smile that makes my heart beat just a little faster.

"I love you too."

I slip the shirt off him, exposing his toned chest, and all of his scars. When I touch him now, something different lingers in the air. We're going farther than we have before, and it can't be undone.

"Love, do you want this?" he breathes as I touch the scar over his heart. "I will wait as long as you want to."

"I'm sure, Matthew. Do _you _want this?"

He leans down and whispers in my with a husky voice, "Love, I've wanted this for a long time."

I bite my lip out of instinct, and he kisses my lips. It starts out slow and controlled, like a new flame, but then the flame spreads and grows to be an uncontrollable wildfire.

Matthew yanks off my tank top and reveals the brassiere I have underneath—a black one with lace. This is the most seductive thing I could have worn that is not entirely too promiscuous (i.e. the lingerie Perris gave me). His hands brush over the fabric, and I suck in a breath. I fumble for the button of his pants, and he laughs at my shaking hands.

"Eager, are we?" He helps me unbutton them, and he settles himself beside me to take them off.

"You're the one who said you've wanted this for a long time," I tease, taking my jeans off too.

He laughs softly. "Touché."

His hipbones form a V into his black boxers, and my ears are too warm, and the entire room is suddenly too warm. We didn't even light the fireplace.

I move so I'm on top of him and straddling his hips. He plays with my long hair that ends just at my waist.

"Beautiful," he whispers.

I kiss his stomach, then his chest, then his neck, and he inhales sharply just as I do that.

He moves quickly and sits up, putting his hands on my back to remove the clasps. We've never gone this far. We've never seen all of each other. And I'm so afraid that he'll be disgusted because I am not a model. I am not a beauty pageant queen.

His fingers stay there for a moment, waiting for some kind of approval. I nod my head the slightest bit, and he figures out the hooks faster that I ever did when I started wearing bras. And he does it without looking.

Matt quietly slips it off, and I cross my arms to shield myself. He tosses the garment on the floor with the rest of our clothes, and he looks at my face. He cups my cheeks with his warm palms.

"I love you, so you don't have to be afraid."

We whisper when we speak, because we do not want to break this magical and very awkward moment.

I nod, and he places his hands on my wrists to guide my arms away. I expect him to gawk or stare or something, but he merely glances at my chest and looks back into my eyes.

"Perfect."

I nearly laugh, because I am so far from it. I love how he makes me feel as if I'm worth being known. He looks shy as he takes another look, and he shakes his head with a silent laugh that comes from his eyes.

He lays me down, gently this time, and gets the sheets to cover us.

I might have had some expectations about how this might go. It would either be too rough or too anticlimactic.

But it's neither.

Matthew's fervent passion still exudes from him as he moves against me, but he slows down when he thinks I am hurt. And it hurts. It's a different kind of pain from being knifed in the stomach. It's dull and sharp at the same time, and the ache grows as he moves. He kisses my neck, and I moan in such an inhumane way that I am almost embarrassed. But not with Matthew. Not now.

He's gentle, though I'd never expect anything less from him. He looks at me momentarily, to see if I'm okay, and I bury my hand in his hair and pull his lips to mine, to say that I am. Matthew is pure, untainted, and his propriety begins to disappear as our pace quickens. He sighs a sigh of relief in my ear, because we do not have to worry about anything right now, and I release a sharp breath. This moment is ours, and it always will be.

Afterwards, we lie next to each other, pressed close under the covers to keep warm. I look around the room and notice the frames on the wall by our bed have tilted a little. The sheets hang precariously off the bed, and there are deep impressions on the mattress. Matthew's hand holds mine while his other one presses against my back. His eyes are not closed. They sweep over me like cool water. He smiles, and I kiss his cheek. He does not look sickly. He does not look diseased. He is my Matthew, strong and carefree.

He blinks once and leans forward to give me the softest kiss, like a ray of sunlight that graces me. His lips linger for two seconds, as if he's afraid we might lose this moment. _We won't _I say in my kiss. _This is ours. _

We shut our eyes and fall asleep in each other's arms.

* * *

**So that was probably really horrible. I just got some PM's that said I needed to do this, so I did, and I tried, and I probably failed. Sorry... **

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	42. Chapter 41

**This chapter is dedicated to winterprincess :) She did the metaphors game and I didn't think anyone would do it. **

* * *

_Matthew's POV_

Tess is the morning person; therefore, usually up before I am.

But she's not.

In fact, she's sleeping soundly, her soft breath hitting my bare chest. I run my fingers through her soft messy hair, trying to untangle knots without waking her up.

Even after seven years, I keep falling in love, and everyday, she gets more beautiful.

Her eyelids begin to flutter open, and she inhales sharply. She smiles at me as she opens her eyes. "G'morning," she mumbles.

I kiss her forehead. "Good morning, love."

"I'm surprised they aren't here yet," she says, sitting up to look around our room, probably expecting them to jump out the closets or from under the desk.

"Don't jinx it," I whisper against her temple.

She smiles dimly, the traces of sleep still evident in her eyes. She kisses me softly, and the awaited knock presents itself, quick and doubled. Literally doubled. Two tiny hands are knocking, and I grin.

"Come in," I call.

The door opens and reveals two little figures.

"Morning, Mommy! Morning, Daddy!" the two voices chirp.

The boy runs to us, while his sister toddles over. He hops onto the bed, and I pick up our little girl.

"Hi, Daddy," Eva says. Her bright blue eyes are big and smiling.

"Well, good morning, Princess," I reply. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yes" She starts hopping while still on top of my abdomen. She looks at my chest and pokes it with her tiny finger. "What's that, Daddy?" She always asks, and I always answer.

"It's a pacemaker, darling. It helps my heart beat."

"Because—because you're sick?"

I shake my head and smile. "I'm getting better everyday."

I hate telling the same lie, to my children and my wife. But I think it's better that they don't know. Not yet, not now.

"That's good, Daddy."

"Mama, do we have lessons today?" Michael asks Tess.

She ruffles his brown hair. "Not today. Today's Sunday, remember?"

At that, the children start to nod in excitement. "Where are we going?" Eva asks, continuing to bounce on my stomach.

"You probably know where we're going, love, but I suggest you and your brother dress up," I reply.

Eva jumps off me and holds out her hand for Michael. "Come on, Mikey, or we'll be late."

The boy, with eyes too dark to be called brown, jumps off the bed as well and takes his sister's hand as she leads him out.

Evelyn's certainly assertive. She's the youngest, yet Michael willingly follows her. He's a good brother that way, a better brother than I ever was. They don't fight often, and when they do, it's usually because one is hogging the piano and won't take turns.

Tess hops out of bed, and I laugh. "What?" she asks, smirking and raising her eyebrow. Seven years, and that face still remains.

"You're lucky they didn't see you out of bed," I say. She must have retrieved her shirt in the middle of the night, but it doesn't cover much of her bare legs. "They would have been really suspicious."

She rolls her eyes with a bashful smile, but it's because she has nothing more to say.

"Go get dressed, love," she says. "I don't think anyone would appreciate your naked self either."

"You do," I joke, laughing. "And I got cold, so I'm covered down there. I don't know if I can say the same for you."

"You are absolutely vulgar and inappropriate."

"Then why did you marry me?"

"I ask myself everyday."

We make these jokes everyday, and it's truly nothing out of the ordinary. These things are never said during a fight—we know better.

I begin to sit up, but a sudden pain hits my chest. It knocks some wind out of me, and I feign a yawn to cover it up. I go to the bathroom quickly and shut the door so I can bend over and attempt to breathe.

I have no idea how I'll be able to tell everyone a second time.

* * *

_Tess's POV_

We arrive at the yellow house, and Eva squeals. "Are we seeing grandma and grandpa?"

"Yeah, and your cousins too."

Eva gasps, putting her hands to her cheeks. "Really?! I thought they lived in France!"

"They do, but they visited for the holidays."

"Maybe I can teach Alfie how to play chess," Michael comments as he stares out the window. He's quite astute for a six-year-old child.

"Mikey, I want to learn how to play chess," Eva pipes. She's only a year younger, but she always wants to be either ahead of Michael or at the same level, whether it comes to a game or a new music piece. "But I wanna play with Addie too. I don't know what to do!"

I laugh. "Go do what you want. We have all the time in the world."

Matthew parks the car, and we get the kids from the back. I frown and point to another car across the street.

"Who's that?" I ask.

"We'll find out, I guess," Matt replies, hoisting Eva up.

Michael rings the bell, and the door opens. "Well, lookie here," Mom says, her eyes smiling. She reaches her arms out for Eva, and Matthew hands her over. "Miss Evelyn, how are you?"

"I'm good, Grandma."

Mom stoops down to meet Michael's eye. "And Michael, how are you?"

"I'm well, Grandmother. Thank you for asking."

Mom laughs, rising again. "Sometimes I wonder if he's a child or an old man."

"Grandma, why can't I have your hair?" Eva says, taking a red lock around her little finger.

"Because your black hair is much prettier."

"But red hair is so much prettier!"

Mom takes Eva inside as they continue to discuss hair color. Michael runs off to find his cousins, and Dad greets us. "We have a surprise for you two."

"Does it involve the car across the street?" I ask as we walk through picture-ridden hallways.

"Yes, actually."

We enter the living room, and a person I haven't seen since Rilane and Jerome's wedding sits on the couch, looking awkward and uncomfortable. I cover my mouth.

"Maria?"

Maria whips her eyes to meet me, and she stands...and curtsies. "King Matthew. Queen Teresa."

"Oh, stop it," I say, practically running to her. I engulf her in a hug, and she hugs me back tightly too.

"Hi, Tess. I've missed you."

"I missed you more!" I pull back. "Where have you been?"

"Everywhere," she says, pulling me down to sit with her. "I'm sorry I've been so MIA."

"You look so...different." She's a lot taller; as tall as I am, actually. She has high cheekbones, and her big eyes don't look as naive as they used to. Her long straight hair is puled up in a high ponytail, and the makeup she is wearing makes her look mature. I can't believe I missed so much.

After she left the palace—and Xander—for high school, she immediately went to college. Abroad. She attended the University of Oxford in England, and she finished a year ago. That much I knew from her letters. Last time I saw her, she was still a high school senior. Now she's a college graduate.

"After college, I worked a bit as an intern for this architect."

"What made you come back?"

"I figured it was time to go home." She smiles, taking my hand. "I really missed you guys." Then she gasps. "Where are my niece and nephew? The last time I saw them they were smaller than my hands!"

I grin. "Michael, Eva! I want you to meet someone."

The children come running in, and Maria beams.

"This is Aunt Maria," I say.

Michael straightens his back, levels his shoulders, and sticks out his hand. "Nice to meet you!"

Maria laughs. "Nice to meet you too, little man. And Evelyn, aren't you the prettiest girl I've ever seen?"

Eva giggles, but then covers her mouth with one hand, as if she is entrusting me with a secret. Except her hand is on the other side of her mouth, and Maria can perfectly see and hear what she's saying.

"Mommy," Eva whispers loudly. "Why does she know me? I dunno know her."

"Yes, you do. You just don't remember."

Two more children run into the living room, with their parents trailing behind them.

"Hi, Auntie Tess," Alfie says, giving me a hug.

Addie smiles daintily. "I love your dress. It's beautiful."

Addie's the oldest at eight years old, but she looks so much like Alexandra with her blonde hair. "Thank you, Adeline. Your dress is quite magnificent too."

She smiles. "Alfie, go say hi to Auntie Tess and Uncle Matt."

Alfie quietly gives us kisses on our cheeks, and the kids run outside to the garden. I stand to give Alexandra and Alexander a hug.

"I haven't seen you two in so long either."

The king and queen of France look at each other. "Who knew ruling a country would be so difficult?" Alex says.

"Agreed," Matt says from the couch as he plops a grape in his mouth.

The doorbell rings again, and I rush to open the door. I am immediately attacked by skinny arms, but something obstructs our hug. Rilane pulls back. "Tess, I haven't seen you in so long!"

"I've missed you too!" The thing that stood between us is actually a person—Riley is pregnant. "Oh, my gosh, Riley!" I say. "Congratulations! And Jer..."

Jerome gives me a quick but tight embrace as well. "Haven't seen you in a while, Princess. Or, should I say, Queen."

"And should I say King."

This house has just become the place most prone to a dangerous attack. Three rulers, four including the former king and queen of Illéa, of three different countries.

We all go back inside, and I find Xander inside as well. He hasn't been at the palace much either with all of the philanthropy projects he's been doing. And, to my surprise, he's talking to Maria. They look a bit uncomfortable together, but they seem to be speaking amicably.

It's funny how so many things can change gradually over time. It's also funny how things can change so quickly too.

What's not funny is when Matthew suddenly collapses, and it's a nightmare all over again.

* * *

**It's almost over, you guys. Bear with me. So a bit of a time jump. A seven year time jump actually. So, uh, if you want to know ages...**

**Tess and Matthew - 26 years old  
Michael and Eva (their kids) - 6 and 5, respectively  
Rilane and Alexandra and their hubbies - 25 years old  
Adeline and Alfred Pierre - 8 and 7, respectively  
Maria and Xander - 22 and 21 **

**I think that's it. So...yeah :)**

**QOTD: Who has a Tumblr? I'll go follow you if you tell me your username :) (Or you can just PM it if ya want). **

**Answer to previous QOTD: I don't have a crush...BECAUSE I'M IN LOVE! With Maxon Schreave and Ansel Elgort, duh.**

**Thank you so much for the reviews! **

**Joy- Alexander and Alexandra are married, and they are the king and queen of France with two kids :) So yeah. Thank you!**

**LittleMissTori- Awwww I'm so glad and so thankful you're still here, Tori! I love you so much! And 5sos :P My best friend loves that band. Thank you so much! **

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Awwww you are literally so sweet! This made my day! And aw those guys. Update me if there have been any relationship progress :) Thank you so much! Good lucK :D**

**Theoneforever- I'm so glad you're enjoying! I write for people like you :) Thank you so much!**

**PokemonLuver151- Haha aww secretly crying. You don't need boys :) And I'm so glad you liked this! Thank you so much!**

**Blondie115- Aw and you're sweeter! Thank you so much!**

**winterprincess- Lol I'm sorry if it was too graphic. I tried my best to make it vague but still some details. But thank you so much! Your review made overly happy :) P.S. You go, girl ;) I don't have much time for boys either. Then again, I go to an all-girls school :P And I totally agree! The standards are too high! P.P.S. I'm not too good at multitasking either. And aw you actually counted? Haha you are too sweet. You win at life! Thank you sooo much!**

**ivyvian- Aw I'm so glad you're still here! And I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter (even though it made me super uncomfortable). Thank you so much! And Gale is okay, but I totally agree with Jem Carstairs :) **

**lilythemermaid- Heeheehee. I miss yooooou and your fanfic. Let's write. We should go write something. Classy...Should I write more smut scenes? Juuuuust kidding. :) Love yooou. Thank you so much! LALOL- T**

**Guest- Hahaha the dashes :P And I'm so glad you loved it! I love you more though! :) Thank you so much!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	43. Chapter 42

_Tess's POV_

"Lift him up carefully," the stern man orders. Three other medics lift Matt on the gurney, and the four of them wheel him away.

Do you ever get that feeling where you seem like you're physically there but not mentally? I feel like that. My mind is away to some other world as my hands cover my mouth, as the tears fall from my eyes and blur my vision. Sirens, voices...Everything is too loud. I want to yell for them to shut up, to make it stop.

"Tess." Now it sounds far away, like we're underwater. A hand rests on my back and brings me to his chest. I can tell it's Jerome. "Tess, there's an ambulance outside. You should take your kids."

I nod wordlessly, and I lift Eva onto my hip and take Michael's hand. "Mommy, what's happening?" Eva says, touching my cheek.

"What's wrong with Daddy?" Michael asks, and I don't say anything, because I can't.

"Why didn't we know?" I hear Dad bark.

I flinch at his abrasive tone mixed with the sharp sound of the sirens. Matthew's in the ambulance, and I take the kids inside, hop in, and the doors are shut.

It's relatively quiet for a moment, then Eva asks, "What's wrong with Daddy?"

I answer as simply as I can, taking a deep breath, because the air is suddenly too little. There is not enough, and hands are grasping my lungs as if it is a frayed rope trying to be kept together hopelessly. I suck in air and release it quickly, even though I should exhale slowly. I feel like sometimes I don't even know who I am anymore. Sometimes I feel like a mere carcass—soulless, airless, and so, so empty. I'm a shell of a girl right now, and I feel like I'm missing something as I look at Matthew's pale face.

I take his pale, limp hand, and my stomach lurches when his hand is colder than winter. I can't live without him. He is not my life, because he is what gives Life. Matthew...I can't lose him. I can't lose any more people I love. Losing Matthew is losing a piece of myself.

"Daddy's heart is broken?" Eva asks, trying to sum up my explanation of his disease. "Daddy's heart is broken, so...so that means he never loved us?"

My heart physically aches, like it has been stabbed over and over again, and all it can do is bleed. "No," I say, wearing a smile through my tears. "Your daddy loved you with all of his heart. He loved you so much, and don't ever think otherwise."

"And Eva, Daddy's heart isn't really broken," Michael says, wiping a tear from his cheek. He tries to be so strong, and he always has. If Matt dies now, the advisers will make Michael rule as soon as he can. But I vow I will do whatever I can to prolong my own reign just so that burden won't settle itself so soon.

"That's right, Mike. Daddy's just a bit sick."

"So just give him medicine!" Eva says, a gleaming hope returning in her blue eyes.

I laugh softly. "If only it were that easy."

Matthew's hand is quickly losing color, and I cry harder when all I can do is kiss it.

* * *

_Matthew's POV_

It's weird. This has never happened before. I heard this could happen during near-death experiences.

I can think, I can hear, I can smell,I can see...me. I can see my own body laying on the stretcher, my children and my wife around me. She kisses my hand, but I don't feel anything. I wish I did. I'd pay to feel her soft lips on my skin again. At least I can see her and my kids. God, they're beautiful.

I remember the first time I laid my eyes on them. Michael was so tiny. He was frail and fragile, a tiny nose and fingers the size of my fingernail. I remember Eva crying and wailing, and still, it sounded like a melody. Michael was still too young to know what was happening, but he was smiling at the presence of his little sister. I probably cried both times, but I denied it.

I can't let go, but it feels so easy to. What will it feel like when I die? It's a question I've asked myself over and over, considering my medical condition. I haven't had any attacks in years, not since Michael was a year old.

What happens if I try to touch Tess now? Will she feel me? I place a hand on her shoulder, but she notices nothing. She doesn't even flinch. All I want to do is take Michael into my lap, or carry Eva into my arms and swing her around. I want to cry, and I can feel tear well in my eyes, but an intense wave of pain overcomes me and I can't breathe. I hear my heart rate monitor begin to beep so, so quickly, and panic pilfers everyone's mind. I can almost feel the anxiety radiation off them, and I try to settle my own heart.

As I watch them rush me to the emergency room, I think about how I'm just one speck in this universe, but in the end I decide I'm more than that to my family. I can't let Tess raise our children alone. I can't let my children grow up without a father. My grandfather was abusive to my father, but having one is better than not. I can't feel the drugs kick in, but my mind slowly gets hazier. I want to stay awake. I take a deep breath, and the edges of my vision are _fractionally_ clearer now.

I follow my family out to the waiting room, and I lean against the wall beside Tess. A doctor comes out and I can't believe the words he says next.

"We need to operate on the king, Your Majesty," he says.

Tess's jaw drops, and she covers her mouth.

"I need your consent for this surgery to happen," the man says, but he says it as if it's a question, as if the mere thought of her consent would be ridiculous. Maybe it's because he expects her to sign it. And she does.

I'm getting a heart transplant.

And I might not live.

Either way.

It's do or die.

Literally.

* * *

_Tess's POV_

I really didn't want to sign it. I didn't. I didn't want them to cut Matthew's chest open and put someone else's heart inside him. It's so risky. Surgery hasn't been practiced for so long because of Gregory Illéa's ban of it. Except many surgeons went against this law. They knew what was healthy and what was not, even if their king said it was incorrect. I would give a million medals to each of those surgeons for defying a man so ignorant and dictatorial.

The surgeon reassures me that getting a heart for Matthew. He's immediately on top of the list for an organ since he's the king.

"But we need a blood donor," Dr. Hernandez says. "The king is a type O, and though it is the universal donor, that blood type can only receive the same kind. Both of your children are type O, but children as blood donors is highly unsafe as well as utterly ridiculous."

And realization dawns on me. "I'm not type O. I'm AB."

"Precisely. We need a donor immediately."

More family walk in through the door into the room. I blurt to all of them, "We need a blood donor. Fast."

To everyone's surprise, Alex raises his hand first. "I'm blood type O. I'll do it."

"Come with me, Sir," the doctor says, whisking the king of France away.

* * *

**This was short. **

**Hey again! I honestly do not remember the last time I updated. I'm betting two, three months? That's what it feels like, I guess. Um, so how y'all been? I'm on tumblr as eadlynschreaveofillea but if I follow you it's going to be under a different URL. I post a lot Selection stuff...It's all Selection stuff sooo :) **

**Anyways, I've missed you guys! I've wanted to update this for so long. I was actually in Spanish class I think when I started writing this. (I was a bit bored...Sorry Mrs. Garcia.) My first semester is finally over, so no more shiterature class (ahem, excuse my language, I meant _literature _class)! THANK THE LORD! **

**I couldn't find motivation to write because after writing essay after essay and explication after explication...I despised writing. I don't know if I still hate it. I just think that maybe I'm not as good as I used to be? I dunno. It took me 6 episodes of _America's Next Top Model _cycle 20 to finish this (still on the finale, rootin' for Starvin' Marvin and #Marnee). It's my new obsession.**

**So, QOTD: What's your most recent obsession?**

**Thank you again for so much support! I'm really hoping for at least 700 reviews by the time this story ends sooo keep reviewing! You guys are fantastic!**

**SJWrites2014- "Not the End" is a perf title! Not too cheesy :) Thank you so much for still being here!**

**marial0789- Yeah, I wanted people to know basic things and to catch up with the gang. Thanks so much!**

**lilythemermaid- Baaaaaaaae I've missed you so much. And I feel like you're never going to see this, and it breaks my heart because I really miss you and I remember you have an actual life. If you see this, happy birthday! Knowing you has been a blessing, and I couldn't be more grateful. I love you. LALOL.**

**Miaforevez- I love the posts you reblog it's fantastic! And I'm kinda sad it's ending too :) Thanks for sticking around!**

**Blondie115- I can't say Matthew is going to be fine. :) And they named their children after Michael and Eva because I felt like they would. Tess and Matt would honor the late, older Michael and Eva by naming the new prince and princess after them. They would name their children after them because they want Eva and Michael to live a life they wouldn't get to live. I hope that's a good explanation :) Thanks so much!**

**prnamber3909- The babies aren't babies anymore ;) Thanks so much!**

**magicalnerd123- I gotchoo :) Thanks!**

**Kiren- I don't have a crush cuz I go to an all-girls school *laughs then cries*. Thanks so much!**

**Please-and-Thankyou's- That was a big time jump. I think I tried looking for you but I couldn't find you? Idk. I'm glad I got you to tear up! Thanks so much!**

**NotHisDear- HOLY SHIT you're the America twitter account I LOVE YOU! You are queen and thank you so much for reviewing! Thank you so much!**

**PokemonLuver151- Thank you for reviewing! And thank you for understanding, and I LOVE you! Thanks so much!**

**ReadLikeYouMeanIt- Your review made my day! And you should totally get a tumblr! It's v addicting but extremely fun :) Thank you so much!**

**winterprincess- I absolutely adore your long review :* I'm so glad you liked it! Are you kidding me? Fetus Maxon or ol' grandpappy Maxon I will love him foreverrrr. School slays. You slay. You are so cool. I love you for your dedication. Keep rocking out girl! Thank you so much!**

**tapioca . acoipat- I can't believe you read all of that! That is dedication right there, and I write for fans like you. Thank you soooo much!**

**LittleMissTori- Aw I love you! Cry your eyes out? Hahaha that's pretty extreme! Thank you so so so much!**

**Guest- Jerome is from Swendway, so he is Matthew's distant cousin :) And don't curse me! And awww thank you sooooo much!**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	44. Chapter 43

_Matthew's POV_

I am so tired. I resorted to a corner in the emergency room, but my mind is fading.

I am living in between. What is in between? Is it being able to feel internally and not externally? Is it the ability to feel your blood pulsing in your veins, your heart beating against your chest, the neurons in your brain connecting, the feeling of a billion cells joining and dividing? Maybe it's the other way around. To be able to see, touch, smell, hear, taste, feel.

Feel.

I don't remember what it's like to feel.

What are feelings? Is it when your nerve endings suddenly realize that you scraped your knee, and suddenly it's screaming at your brain that you are in pain? Or is it when you feel this rush of dopamine or oxytocin and you think _Wow these chemicals and hormones in my brain are giving me emotions, hello, world I am a human being with emotions_?

I remember when I was fourteen I began to learn how chemicals in our brain were released. Dopamine made us feel happy. Oxytocin made us feel love. In a way, I was appalled. Was what I was feeling a lie? Were every moment I looked at my family and felt this happiness and love just chemicals? Then I realized maybe it didn't matter. We were what we were because we are human.

What is love? Is love a strong emotion that surpasses all? Is it a rush of oxytocin and dopamine combined? I learned that is a feeling that makes us so impulsive and so dangerous. It makes us so powerful yet so vulnerable. Love makes us strong and weak. It keeps us controlled but oh so reckless. It makes us want and desire all of them and nothing else. It is a craving that sustains us and consumes us. It makes us sane and insane. It is like water, having the capacity to be destructive and revive. It is all a man in the desert thinks of. We say we love this or that or him and her. But do we really mean it?

Love.

Love is not just a feeling.

To feel again. I wish I could just feel my son's soft cheek, or my little girl's tiny hands. I wish I could just feel every black strand of hair on my wife's head.

I wish.

In between.

To be in between is to see and hear without being seen and without being heard. It is to wish to feel and not be able to feel or be felt. It is wishing to taste freedom and happiness. It is smelling hope and fear.

In between is here yet there. It is in front and also behind.

I am in between. I am everywhere and nowhere. I am everything and nothing. I am someone and no one. I am all and none. I was and am. I'm here, yet there. I'm in front, yet behind. I am close, but still very far away.

I am the opening of _A Tale of Two Cities _by Charles Dickens.

I am a personified oxymoron.

An oxymoron who suddenly begins to understand life.

Life is just a seed in the ground until it blossoms into a flower, and it's beautiful and tragic and painful and magical. You realize that life isn't the flower; you are. Then it's raining, pouring, and all you want to do is get back in the ground, where it was dark and warm and safe. Then some kid plucks you from your home and puts you in her hair, and suddenly, you're all tangled up and you don't want to be in the situation you are in right now. You forget the ground. All you want to do is be where you were. Then you're in a cold white, ceramic vase, being looked at and admired. You stay there for eternity and appreciate your change of scenery everyday. You see that you aren't the only thing that has a life.

This.

This is what gives life, what brings life.

This _is _life.

Life is how we exist.

But existing is not the same as living.

What is to have a good life? Is it to be wealthy until you're bathing in liquid gold? Is it to drink into hysteria? Is it being the most popular or the most successful?

I can tell you that no. I am the king of Illéa. I have riches, I have wine, I am known in nearly every crook of the Earth. And I can admit that I did a pretty good job with this country.

But is that what defines my life? Is that what makes my life good?

I lived my life with a loving family. A family who joked, ate altogether at the dinner table, played music and sang, and laughed. My cousins, my friends all made me feel this companionship, like I was part of a team. I met Tess in an ordeal that would have done everything it could have to keep her away from me. Tess, my wife, who made me laugh and smile and _feel_. What I felt is something I only feel with her. She gave me children, two beautiful children whom I can't love enough.

I had a good life because of these people.

I could have been a poor man, living off the streets and fighting the elements. If I still had these people, I wouldn't have cared. No, I wouldn't have cared at all. King or beggar, these beings would make my life more precious than any diamond.

I have lived a good life as a good son, brother, friend, boyfriend, husband, father. I have spent my entire life trying to make people happy, and the outcomes were the best, because seeing their happiness made me feel my own.

I have lived a good life.

But in between does not last forever.

I have two choices: to go before in between, or to go after.

I am holding on to a rope, and it burns in my hands. I want to let go. I want to see the light again, the clouds, the happiness, the face of God. But I can't let go of the other end of the rope, the one that connects me to my loves. They are holding the rope.

Then I realize they are the rope.

They wouldn't let go and let me fade into oblivion. I am holding onto them, and they are fraying. They are breaking because of me. I am a heavy burden. I should let go. If I fall, the rope will no longer be strained. If I let go, they won't be broken.

But that is a lie. If I let go of the rope, it will lose its purpose. It will lie in waste, doing nothing, lying there not as rope but as braided string.

But it would just be so easy...

No.

I can't do this to them.

So I am in between, still wondering whether or not I am flying or falling. Wondering whether I am dying or living. Wondering if this is Heaven or Hell.

I am past and present.

I am everywhere and nowhere.

But I have to pick somewhere.

I have to be somewhere.

And so I choose.

* * *

**But what does Matthew choose? To live or to die? To breathe or to cease? **

**Writing this was fun :)**

**So how are you guys?! Haven't seen you in months. Sorry for the lack of updates. Inspiration hits at odd times (meaning, yes, it is totally 2:12 in the morning). If you're curious about me...well, let's just say I'm done with shiterature class. I sit at home reading or writing songs or playing piano, violin, or guitar. The fingertips on my left hand have calluses, and I agree with America, it's weird and I would not like Maxon to see these. **

**Also, my tumblr is eadlynschreaveofillea or ninjamusician25. The first is my Selection blog and I upload groovy stuff. You can also hear some songs that I wrote. My personal blog is just a bunch of random stuff so yeah. If you want a follow back on tumblr, all you have to do is ask or send me fan mail :) **

**QOTD: Name one (or multiple!) quirks about yourself.**

**Answer to previous QOTD: My most recent obsession is the Regina Spektor radio on Pandora. Her lyrics are so weird, but her voice is so interesting and the piano is beautiful. So yeah :)**

**I really would love to answer to reviews, but I am so tired. I watched Lucy and Boyhood today, and honestly, two rated R movies in one day slays :P **

**AND THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR REVIEWING! I can't believe this is at 660. I'd really love it if this could be maybe at 700 by the time I finish? You guys are the best, though, really. Tell me anything in the reviews because I honestly love you guys. :) **

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


	45. Chapter 44

_Tess's POV_

It has been a month and a half since the surgery.

A month and a half since Matthew has been home and has been awake.

A month and a half since my last normal meal.

I used to cry every night of the last month. Now I'm empty of tears and full of nothingness.

I miss him so much I physically ache inside. My heart beats with a dull intensity, like someone has a fist wrapped tight around it.

"Your Majesty, what do you say regarding the monarchical threats in Italy?" Hindrop says.

_To hell with the country. To hell with the world. This is all hell anyway._

"I have spoken with my brother, the king, and he has agreed with me that we shall send troops to protect and guard the palace, _only if necessary_," I say. "There is no need for violence. The troops are only there to make sure nothing gets too physical and drastic. We will also need to station the guards around the capital, in the city a little ways away from the palace. Disguise the troops so the citizens won't be alarmed. Conceal their weapons. We have dealt with pesky rebels before, we can do it again."

The advisers nod in consent, and as they nod, my head begins to pound. The world revolves around the sun and rotates on its axis. The problem is that I'm not supposed to feel it. I force a smile. "Thank you for your audience, ladies and gentlemen. This meeting is adjourned."

They collect their things, and I rush out to my office. I see the pile of papers stacked on top of my desk like a mountain waiting to be climbed, and I internally groan. On the very top of the mountain is Matthew's will. I work for interminable hours, approving some laws and denying some, until the room begins to darken with the setting sun. It's around seven o'clock, which means I'll eat a crumb for dinner and dress up to visit Matthew.

I dress up in one of Matthew's faded button downs and my most comfortable jeans. I wipe off every ounce of makeup and look at my face. My eyes are sunken, the eyebags are heavier than Eva, my lips are chapped, and above all that, my cheeks look like they've been deflated.

I am a hollow being in a hollow world.

I put on my flats and grab my bag. "Eva, Michael, I'm going to visit Daddy at the hospital," I call. My children run out of their rooms, dressed up and ready to go.

"We've been ready since an hour ago!" Eva says, her smile lighting up the room.

The two tiny things before me are the reasons I still have a reason to exist.

"Let's go!" I say, but even in my attempt to sound happy, I sound exhausted. They grab my heads, and I head to the car. We drive to the hospital, luckily not very far away or I would have cried while driving.

As I park, I stop moving for a moment to let the dizzying feeling pass over me. I'm not pregnant, I know that for a fact. I do know that vertigo is an effect of both starvation and sleep deprivation.

I unbuckle Michael and Eva from their carseats and carry Eva while Michael holds my hand. I put on my shades and go through the side door.

I greet the nurse at the front desk. "Hi, Nurse Jackie, I'm here to see Matt."

Nurse Jackie stands with a friendly smile, one that stretches across her dark skin. "Hello, Tess. And hello, children."

We've known Nurse Jackie since Matt has been admitted, and she is the only one permitted to take us to his room and also call us by our first names. That way the people in the waiting room won't be too suspicious.

Michael bows lowly, and she laughs. "My, already quite the charming prince I see."

I smile. "You're in a good mood today," I tell her as she leads us to Matthew's room.

"Everyone needs to be in a good mood today."

I shrug.

When she opens the door, I expect to see Matthew reclined in bed, flat on his back, dreaming his life away in the black hole of his coma.

But here he is.

Awake.

Matthew is awake.

* * *

_Matthew's POV_

I've only seen her in my dreams. Her voice echoing in the darkness.

_Everyone misses you, you know, _she always tells me. _Mikey almost beat his fencing teacher. He's getting really good at it. And Eva wants to play Rachmaninoff. Our children, Matt. They're special._

I hear little bits of speech, then it's gone.

But now I'm awake. The lights are dim, and the lights from the hallway shows only her silhouette and our children's.

"Matthew," she whispers, in shock and wonder.

As much as I'd love to speak, to tell her I love her, to tell Eva and Michael that I'm alive and awake, I can't find my voice. My throat feels like it's been incinerated.

Nurse Jackie fixes my bed so I'm sitting at a 160 degree angle, and she gives me a glass of water that cools every bit of my throat as I drink it.

Tess walks slowly to me, as if I'm a ghost, and I pray to dear God that I'm not actually dead and not actually a ghost.

She touches my hand, and it's almost as if it gives me the power to breathe again. The beeping of my heart monitor quickens, and God, I missed her so much. I missed being awake.

I missed being alive.

Tess grins and throws her arms around my neck. "Matthew," she whispers in my ear.

"I'm home, love," I manage to say in garbled speak, but I'm speaking nonetheless. "I'm home."

* * *

**Well, would you look at that. Matthew's alive! Yay! ****SO one more epilogue chapter, and this story will be officially finished. **

**First of all, my deep apologies for not updating in like half a year. I think. Idk I lost track. Anyway, thank you all so so so much for sticking with me. This has been an incredible journey. **

**Second, _The Heir_. Like. Whoa. People on Tumblr think it might be called _The End_, and if it is, well...I'm totally taking credit. Kidding. But that's pretty cool.**

**Third, I start school next week. That's gross. **

**Four, my Tumblr account is eadlynschreaveofillea. I post theories, analyses, gif sets, songs I wrote for the series, drabbles, one-shots, and other trashy things. So if you don't see me here, message me there because I'm on Tumblr literally everyday, and if you like my writing and are pissed at me for my inconsistent posting, you'll see more of my writing there :)**

**Five, QOTD: What is your ideal home?**

**I'm sorry I couldn't get to all the reviews, but you know your AcademicGirl, posting her shit at 11:22 pm and is still jet lag from England so it's like 4 in the morning there. Cheerio. But I want you to know thank you so so so so so much for the reviews! I love hearing what you have to say about it, and thank you for supporting me :) **

**Can I ask you guys for a huge favor? Is it possible to get this story to at least 700 reviews? I'd love you forever :D And if it gets to 800, I'm posting a bonus scene of when Eva and Michael are all grown up and Michael's getting ready to have his own Selection :)**

**Thanks for being cool, babes.**

**Love ya! - AcademicGirl**


	46. Chapter 45

**Epilogue - 10 years later**

_Tess's POV_

For years, I've contemplated Life's meaning. What did it all mean anyway? How could something be given as easily as it was taken away?

I remember when I almost died. How that plane hurtled towards the earth and suddenly the earth was on fire. How I lost everything I ever knew. Including the memories of everyone I've ever loved.

But slowly, it comes back. It comes back like the prodigal son, like a runaway child. Some thoughts still escape me at times, and every day Matthew reminds me. Reminds me of how we fell in love and how he will love me until the end of time. He reminds me how he'll remind me even when we're old and gray and withering like autumn leaves.

I think about Life. I think about Death. How I've been minutes away from it, Matthew a fraction of a second. How we've seen too much. How there is too much.

But, moreover, I think about Love. How I find it where I never thought I would. How it makes us so strong and so weak. How some people can give up on it so easily. I would tell them, "Love shouldn't make you give up. It's something you should fight for. You just have to look for it in places you wouldn't expect."

"Mom, what are you thinking about?" Eva asks, sitting next to me on the bench outside in the gardens.

She's grown so much. At fifteen years old, she's proved herself more than any teenager would. Intelligent, gracious, and genuine. She thinks too much, and I'm afraid she got it from me. She's also gotten a little rebellious, sneaking into the gardens late at night when she thinks we've all fallen asleep. The rebellion definitely runs in the family.

"Mom's probably thinking about work and how she'd _love _a glass of wine," Michael quips. He's sixteen, a little bit of a smart aleck, but one of the kindest people in the world. He is terrified of girls, and much more comfortable with a book and a bow and arrow. In three years, he will have his own Selection.

But none of us like to think about that yet. It makes everyone feel too old. As if we can see Time slipping past our fingers.

"Isn't wine bad for you?" Sebastian asks. Seb was the surprise baby. He was born a year after Matthew woke up from his coma, which makes him nine years old and farther behind his siblings when it comes to age. But it doesn't hold him back from trying to beat his older siblings at anything. Sometimes he wins, and when he doesn't, Michael and Eva are there to comfort him and challenge him again.

"Wine is actually terribly good for you," Matthew says, sprawling on the grass still in his suit. He stares up at the starry sky, like he's counting, but I know inside he's thanking God every day he's alive. "You know, without a little bit of wine, your mom probably would have never even fallen for me."

"NO WAY!" the kids yell, lying next to their father. I wish I had a camera right here, so I could keep this moment forever, because someday my faulty memory will erase it against my own will.

Our kids like to ask about our story, how we got together, how we happened even though it was against the rules. We usually exclude the part about our first drunken kiss, but this time we let them know. We can't keep secrets from our children forever.

But some will stay hidden until they are old enough to understand.

Like why sometimes their mommy has a hard time remembering their childhood memories and why she writes tedious things down. How Matthew's back is riddled with scars and how some days they ache and how some nights they serve as memories in his dreams. How we never really go to the beach, and when we do, Matthew never comes. How their Aunt Eva and Uncle Michael really died. What the country was really like before they were born.

But perhaps for the first time, we now have Time. It can all wait.

I join them on the grass, sandwiching our kids with Matthew on the other end, and all is forgotten.

"Actually," I say, "I was thinking about how Mommy loves all of you. I'm so proud that you guys are growing up to be who you want to be. Never forget that."

We lie like that, staring at the moon, at the stars, until Seb breaks the silence. "Mommy, what did you want to be when you grew up?"

Eva laughs. "Yeah, Mom, I don't really think long-lost princess and queen was on that list."

We laugh at that. I consider it for a moment, wondering if I should tell them I wanted to go to college and be a doctor. It's awfully pragmatic for a moment like this.

"I...I wanted to be happy."

Matthew props himself on his elbow and looks at me with the eyes I could drown in forever. "Are you?"

I look at him, really look. The Boy Made of Light who grew up too fast. Whose heart almost literally broke, but maybe it was because it loved too much.

And he looks at me. A girl who ran into too many surprises. A girl who finally learned what it meant to love and to be loved. A girl who knew how to live.

I smile. "I am."

And so Life goes on.

The End


	47. Final Author's Note

_Last chapter (Chapter 45) updated right before this. Go check it out if you haven't already!_

**The end.**

**Finally right?**

**It all started two years ago, which is insane. Also, I am so terribly sorry I didn't update this in almost a whole year. Life got in the way, as it likes to do. **

**This is (un)fortunately the last chapter of my last story of this series. I can't believe I finished it, and it has 700+ reviews! **

**I just wanted to thank everyone who has read, reviewed, liked, told friends about this story...Seriously, that means ****_the world_****. **

**Well, this has been a crazy two years. I've changed a lot. My writing has changed. My thoughts have changed. My characters changed. I kind of based Tess off me, but after writing, I realize she's become a different person. **

**This was such a pleasure to write, and I'll miss it. I miss being able to write so easily. It's a little harder now, but maybe someday it'll come back. **

**This won't be the last you'll see of me! (Sorry.) I'll still be finishing my other story ****_Reversed. _****I don't really know when I'll get to that, but yeah. I'd update you about my life, but I'm not sure if you're really interested...**

**BUT if you really want to see me, my Tumblr is highly active. I'm ****_eadlynschreaveofillea_****btw. Yes, it's T. My posts have been on Kiera Cass's Tumblr multiple times, if you guys want a credibility check. If you guys are Tumblr people, and you didn't know it was me, just message me and be like, "Hey, AcademicGirl!" Or something like that, haha. I'm not scary, I promise.**

**So I guess this is where we part and leave this story behind. I hope you learn one thing if anything: Don't take Life for granted. It's easily given and easily taken away. And no matter how terrible it gets, keep finding a way to keep going. **

**I wish you all very long and happy lives. Find love. Find happiness. Find yourselves. You're more than enough.**

**And for the last time...**

**Love ya!- AcademicGirl**


End file.

Selection Trilogy, Kiera Cass, Drama, Romance