Friendiaophobia

Friendiaphobia.

**Note: Okay, so this is a special present for Sword Stitcher! I have to say this one was fun to write because I haven't used Scarecrow and Riddler together in a long time. **

**Any way, HAPPY BIRTHDAY DOUBLE 'S'! I hope you enjoy this!**

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_Tap, tap, tap._

Jonathan glanced over the top of his book and gave a small glare at Edward who was happily tapping away at his key bored, not really paying much attention to the outside world.

Jonathan hated it. There was no pattern to it, it was just a noisy display of unorganised taps. They didn't even have a tune to them and Jonathan was forced to listen to them for a whole week, thanks to the fact his hideout had recently burnt down.

He went back to reading, maybe if he focused on his book he would be able to ignore-

_Tap, tap, tap._

He grit his teeth, before glaring over his book again. Edward hand't noticed his friends glaring. Jonathan knew because if he had, then he would of stopped with the infernal tapping!

Why couldn't Edward read a book? It made less noise.

Jonathan sighed and shuffled in his seat before he went back to his reading, Edward had stopped for the time being, he was now tapping his chin in thought, but thankfully his chin didn't make a noise like the keys did.

_Tap, tap, tap._

Jonathan snapped his book closed and glared over at him. Edward always made a lot of noise, it was like he was always subconsciously, no matter what it was he was doing, wanted attention, so he made as much noise as possible.

"Athazagoraphobia," Jonathan stated.

Edward paused and looked up at him. "What Jon?"

"Athazagoraphobia," Jonathan said again, placing his book down on the table. "Fear of being ignored, abandoned, forgotten. Fears that narcissists have. Especially extreme narcissists."

Edward narrowed his eyes. "Get to the point."

Jonathan smirked and began to clean his glasses. "Do you know you make so much noise when you're on that piece of tecno garbage or do you just do it subconsciously for attention? Afraid that people will miss your brilliance of working a key bored?"

Edward rolled his eyes. "It's not that loud. Besides, you could always go back to your hideout… oh wait you can't can you?" Jonathan glared at him, his pressure on the glasses increased as he cleaned them. Edward smirked and went back to typing.

Jonathan narrowed his eyes at his tapping, before he slipped his glasses on. "What are you even doing Edward?"

"Planning my latest riddle. I will outsmart Batman! That Dark Knight will not beat me, not again!" Edward declared.

Jonathan rolled his eyes. He'd heard it all before, seen it all before. Time after time, Edward would say the same thing, declare that his next trap would be better and when that one failed, he would accuse Batman of cheating and then say that the next one will be better and that the Dork Knight would never beat him.

"Kakorrhaphiophobia."

Edward sighed and looked over his computer at him. "In english Jon?"

"Fear of defeat or failure," Jonathan informed him, smirking at the tiny glare he got.

"Is there any reason your picking my brain of my fears?" Edward muttered.

Jonathan tilted his head to the side. "Are they some of your fears Edward?"

He laughed when he received a glare. If looks could kill he'd be dead ten times, but oh well, they didn't.

"Stop it Jonathan."

"Stop what Edward?"

"You know what you insane mad man!"

"I've been called worse."

Edward sighed and took a quick swig of coffee. "I bet you have. Many come to mind at the moment."

Jonathan raised an eyebrow but said no more.

They went back into silence save for the tapping of Edward's fingers as they hit the keys.

Jonathan's eyes wondered around the room till they rested on then table in the far corner with Edward's keys and wallet on top, his hat hung up above them.

Jonathan could just make out the photograph in Edward' wallet.

Ah! He smiled to himself. There was another fear.

"Syngenesophobia."

Edward glared once more. "Which is?"

"Fear of relatives or more specifically for you, paterophobia, fear of-."

"Fathers." Edward finished for him.

"Ah, so you are learning your phobias."

"No," Edward muttered. "I understand Greek. Pater is father in Greek."

"Ah, always deductive reasoning with you isn't it Edward?"

"No Jonathan. Years of detective work."

Jonathan laughed. "You were no detective Edward. You may of wanted to, but all you were was a pencil pusher in the GCPD's cyber crimes unit."

"And what were you Jonathan, other then a chop shop doctor?"

Jonathan's hand slammed on top of the counter, making Edward jump, the next thing he knew Jonathan had grabbed his tie and pulled him up towards his face, tightening the knot of the tie.

"I worked tooth, claw and nail to get that position Edward! My PHD is nothing to be laughed at! You may insult my looks _boy_, but you may not insult my work!"

Without another word he shoved Edward backwards in his chair, causing it to topple over and Edward landed on the floor with a grunt.

He quickly got to his feet, knowing that Jonathan had a habit of using his toxin a lot to get back at people who insulted him.

Jonathan was however sitting back in his chair calmly reading.

"You have real problems with controlling your temper Jonathan," Edward bit out, picking up his chair and sitting back down.

"Says the man who throws tantrums even now?"

"I do not have tantrums!"

"I believe your worst was when you stomped around your hideout for a week, yelling insults in anagrams about the bat."

"Well at least I wasn't sitting in Arkham repeating nursery rhymes over and over," Edward hissed.

Jonathan scowled. "As I have made clear, many times, that was a result of the drug they had given me," He narrowed his eyes at Edward closed his book. "Besides, at least I wasn't the one who wouldn't shut up and kept on singing I am the very model of a modern major general!"

"It was stuck in my head!"

"Like 'Happy' was?"

"Jester kept on playing it over and over again at my hideout!"

"Like thrift shop by any chance?"

"Yes!"

Jonathan smirked and went back to reading. "I am so happy Luna doesn't listen to such ridiculous songs."

"It's not-!" Edward stopped abruptly, but the damage had already been done.

Jonathan raised an eyebrow. "Edward please tell me you don't like that song do you?"

"It's catchy…"

Oh god, that was weak.

Jonathan sighed and shook his head. "Really Edward…"

"Jester kept on playing it over and over and… it got stuck in my head and then I began to like it!" Edward protested. "It's not my fault! Besides, at least I'm keeping in trend _old man_! Unlike some of us!"

"Edward you were never 'in trend' to begin with," Jonathan stated, bluntly.

"You dress like a bean pole!"

"And you dress like a leprechaun."

Edward's jaw plumited to floor. "W- what?"

"I believe I said-."

"How could you even say that! My style of dress is perfect!"

"Perfectly fitted for a leprechaun, yes. In that Edward, we agree."

"You wear burlap sacking!"

"I dress as a Scarecrow."

"I still look trendy, my suit looks really fashionable!"

Jonathan raised an eyebrow. "Who said your suit was fashionable?"

"The tailor did!" Edward snapped.

"Oh because the tailor is going to insult a rogue, aren't they?"

Edward glared at him and closed his computer before he folded his arms and pouted.

Jonathan rolled his eyes. "Very mature. I think you've been spending too much time with Jester, Edward."

He went back to his reading when Edward sighed loudly.

"What is it Edward?"

"I'm bored."

"Bored?"

"Yes, bored. When one does not know what to do to entertain one's self?"

"I know what bored means, Edward!" Jonathan snapped. "My question is, what do you want me to do about it?"

"Give me something to entertain myself with!"

Jonathan sighed. Truth be told he himself had also become bored. But what could he do that would keep Edward occupied but him entertained.

Then an idea struck him.

A smile curled it's way up his lips and he pulled the syringe out of his pocket, tapping the bubbles out of the liquid he walked over to Edward, who wasn't even paying attention to him.

In a lightning flash movement, he'd pinned Edward's arms to his side, stopping any movement.

"Jonathan, what-?" then his eyes fell on the syringe that was coming towards his neck. "No! No, don't! Jonathan!"

But, it was of no use.

The syringe was pushed into his neck and Edward yelped, before Jonathan pulled it out and placed it on the table.

Then he pushed Edward to the floor.

If he was correct, which he knew he was, the toxin in the needle was it's strongest that wouldn't kill anyone, unless of course Edward's heart gave out.

It would be a shame if it did, he did so love their talks.

Suddenly Edward's breathing went off the scale, his eyes grew hollow, wide and distant, the pupils shrank to mere pin pricks as the sweat began to beed on his forehead.

Ahh it was starting to take effect.

Jonathan took his chair, grabbed a pen and his note book, before sitting in front of Edward, coffee in hand and ready to take notes.

"No… no please, I… I didn't lie! I didn't cheat!" came the pathetic whimpers from the younger man before him.

Jonathan smirked. Edward's brand of terror was always amusing to him, it was funny to watch that oh so brilliant mind come crashing down to a small quivering wreck in the corner. He hoped this new stuff would bring about some other more interesting topics, other then Edward's beatings and denials of cheating and lying. But if it didn't, it didn't matter.

He knew Edward would be angry when he woke up from the ordeal, but he didn't know why, he was simply doing what Edward has asked him to do, he was keeping him from boredom and he was pleasing himself in the process.

Besides, what are friends for?

THE END.


End file.
