Bleach Battle of the Musicals Preview

A/n: Well, this is a preview of my next idea, which will be comical... It came to me and I started laughing my ass off and decided to write it... This is a preview for said idea... Hueco Mundo versus the Soul Society in... a battle of the musicals! xD Pure crack, yes, but it will be funny, and very, very awkward... Very few of the "Actors" know what they're doing... There's a handful in the soul society, and a handful in Hueco Mundo... Oh joy... Won't this be interesting?

Rules of the Battle: 1.) Each side chooses the play their opponent will do, but the same play can't be chosen for both sides. This is the rule each side favors, because they can pick any musical for the opposing side. Normally, the object of this, pick a play the other side will have a hell of a time trying to pull off, which is why the Soul Society chose **Wicked** for Hueco Mundo... And Hueco Mundo chose **Sweeney Todd** for the Soul Society... Interesting picks, ne? 2.) Each side may bring in people from the outside (A.k.a. The Human World) to help if needed, which both sides needed to. 3.) The script can be altered as long as the basic concept of the scenes are still there. Hueco Mundo needed this rule more than the Soul Society did. 4.) Each side makes their own props and costumes. 5.) The day of the play, the Hollows and the Shinigami are to sit on opposite sides of the theatre. If anyone is found to cross the line without permission, they will find themselves severely punished. 6.) Hollows are not allowed to eat or attack any shinigami. 7.) No shinigami are allowed to kill hollows there. 8.) Each side will get three months to prepare their play. 9.) They will also get a week in the actual theatre to work on lighting and sound systems. 10.) The last rule, each side must have some kind of stupid opening. (You'll understand this once I prepare and post the prologue.)

This Scene: The Catfight Scene from **Wicked**. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra's favorite scene. (They both get to actually slap each other instead of the fake slaps.)

Cast: Ulquiorra as G(a)linda. (xD) Grimmjow as Elphaba. Stark and other male Fraccion as the Wizard's guards. And Ichigo as Fiyero. (You'll see when I post the prologue why Ichigo's helping Hueco Mundo. A hint, he's not doing to by his own will. He's being forced into it.)

Notes: In mind of the casting, Gin was the one who chose the roles along with Aizen. Gin is also Hueco Mundo's play director as well as Madame Morrible. (Joy.) You can already probably guess who Aizen gets to be, since it's obvious. Oh! And instead of those stupid fake guns they have on stage during this scene, I used their Zanpakuto instead to make it easier.

Disclaimer: I own neither Bleach or Wicked. Bleach is owned by Tite Kubo. Who has rights to Wicked I have no idea. I'll look it up later. Now, Enjoy~!

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Ulquiorra entered the stage, dressed in the customary dress for the second half of the play, though instead of white and blue like the dress originally was, it was white and green to match the Cuarta's eyes. Thanks to the odd concoction Szayel had come up with, Ulquiorra's skin was a normal color, his hollow hole and helmet piece had vanished, he could actually use emotions, and his hair was a blond yellowish color. No matter how the Cuarta insisted it was ridiculous during practice, no one listened of course. Then of course came the voice changing matter, which annoyed Ulquiorra slightly at being forced to use a female voice through out the entire play.

Ulquiorra stood next to the props on the stage, being cardboard decorated nicely to resemble a piece of the yellow brick road with flowers surrounding it. The silhouette of a house was in the background of the stage. Ulquiorra waved offstage to someone.

"That's right, you just take that one road, the whole time", Ulquiorra called offstage, before turning to the audience with a nervous smile, "Oh, I hope they don't get lost. I'm so bad at giving directions."

Chuckles erupt from the audience watching the performance. Ulquiorra looked over at the house and picked up a few flowers from beside the cardboard cutout. He laid the flowers in the middle of the stage, kneeling down and sitting. "Oh, Nessa."

"What a touching display of grief", the sneering voice near the back of the stage said in mocking.

Ulquiorra turned to face Grimmjow, though feminized, standing with a look of dry humor on his face. Grimmjow now had long teal colored hair near mid back and no jawbone on his cheek. He was dressed in a blue dress reaching his ankles with blue boots on, also a dark blue cape draped around his shoulders. The odd dark blue pointed witch hat also sat upon his head, only making him look even more bizarre. Another thing to notice that his arms had thinned out a bit, as had his frame, and his voice had also undergone a change to a higher pitch.

"I don't think we have anything further to say to one another", Ulquiorra said quickly, getting up as soon as the teal haired man had entered the stage.

"I wanted something to remember her by", Grimmjow said, stepping forward towards the middle of the stage, "And all that is left were those shoes... and now that wretched little farm girl has walked off with them!" He said the last part with a lot of sass, which earned laughter from the audience. "So I'd appreciate some time, alone, to say goodbye to my sister."

As Ulquiorra backed away from him, Grimmjow sank to his knees where Ulquiorra had moments ago and bowed over. "Nessa, please, please, please forgive me", Grimmjow said in a broken tone, though fake as he had practiced scene and made his acting flawless.

"Elphie", Ulquiorra said as he walked over and kneeled down beside Grimmjow, "You mustn't blame yourself. It's dreadful, it is, to have a house fall on you, but accidents will happen."

Grimmjow looked up and over at Ulquiorrawith a look that clearly stated the unbelieving of the words spoken. "You call this an accident", Grimmjow asked, voice biting.

"Well, maybe not an accident", Ulquiorra said beginning to stand.

"Well, what do you call it", Grimmjow snapped as he stood as well.

Ulquiorra opened his mouth to say something, before closing it and thinking a second clutching onto the long wand he held onto. "A regime change", he said with a nod, to with Grimmjow rolled his eyes at, "Caused by a bizarre... and unexpected... twister of fate!"

"Oh, so you think cyclones just appear", Grimmjow said voice becoming louder and mocking as he began to pace around the stage, "Out of the blue?!"

"Well, I don't know, I never really", Ulquiorra began as he began to walk in the opposite direction of the stage.

"No, of course you never", Grimmjow said throwing up his hands, "You're too busy telling everyone how wonderful everything is!"

"Well, I'm a public figure, now", Ulquiorra started as he gestured at the audience, "People expect me to-"

"Lie", Grimmjow cut in with a smirk.

"Be encouraging", Ulquiorra said as he faced Grimmjow and stamped his foot, "And what exactly have you been doing besides riding around on that filthy, old thing?" He hit his staff/wand against the broom Grimmjow was holding.

The blue haired man frowned over at him. "Well, we can't all come and go by bubble", Grimmjow said mockingly to which snickers rang out in the audience before beginning again in disbelief, "Who's invention was that, the Wizard's? Of course, even if it wasn't I'm sure he'd still take credit for it."

"Yes, well, a lot of us are taking things that don't belong to us, aren't we", Ulquiorra said in a knowing tone, looking over at Grimmjow with a disapproving look.

Grimmjow turned towards him in a flourish. He hit the end of his broom against the ground with a tut of annoyance. "Now you wait just a clock tick", he said in annoyance, "I know it may be difficult for that blissful, blonde brain of yours to comprehend that someone like him could actually choose someone like me! But it's happened... it's real. And you can wave that ridiculous wand all you want, you can't change it!" Grimmjow stepped closer and closer to Ulquiorra with every word uttered. "He never belonged to you, he doesn't love you, and he never did! He loves me!"

Ulquiorra reached up and slapped him, hard considering the echoing of the slap. Grimmjow reached up and touched his cheek, head thrown to the side with the slap, before cackling with evil laughter. He looked at Ulquiorra in amusement, with a smirk.

"Feel better now", Grimmjow asked in amusement.

Ulquiorra looked up in thought for a moment. "Yes", he said after a pause, "I do..."

Grimmjow gave a look of pure amusement, laughing a little. "Good", he said reaching up and slapping Ulquiorra right back causing the Cuarta to spin around to regain balance, "So do I!"

The then began saying mutterings to themselves as they circled each other. Grimmjow spun his broom around in his hand and Ulquiorra twirled his long wand like a staff in his hands. They charged at each other and hit their "weapons" together a few times before throwing them down and resort to beating each other senseless. Ulquiorra steals Grimmjow's hat and begins to beat him on the head with it.

All sorts of guards rush onto the stage, mainly the male Fraccion, with Stark ahead of the rest. "Halt! In the name of the Wizard", Stark called as everyone else separated Grimmjow and pulled him back towards the middle of the stage. Stark picked up Ulquiorra and took him over to the right of the stage.

"Stop! Let me go", Grimmjow called out.

"Let me go, I almost had her", Ulquiorra said struggling to be let down, to which earned another bit of laughter from the audience.

"Sorry it took us so long to get here, Miss", Stark said moving in front of Ulquiorra as soon as he set the Cuarta down and pointed his Zanpakuto, which they were using instead of fake guns, at Grimmjow. He then moved over with the others.

"I can't believe you would sink this low", Grimmjow said with a look of disgust, "To use my sister's death as a trap to capture me?!"

"Well, I never meant for this to happen", Ulquiorra started but was interrupted.

Ichigo, haired dyed to a brownish black color to avoid people noticing that he was in fact helping Hueco Mundo—against his will might he add, swung in on a rope and landed on the ground. He was wearing a replica of green guard uniform that Fiyero wore in the actual play. He knelt down and pointed his zanpakuto, which Szayel had successfully put a seal on to release it from its constant shikai form to that of a normal zanpakuto's, at the Fraccion surrounding Grimmjow. "Let the blue girl go!"

Amused laughter rang through both sides of the audience.

"Fiyero, how in Oz", Ulquiorra began with a confused expression.

"I said let her go", Ichigo said quickly, "Or explain to all Oz how the Wizard's guards watched while Glinda the Good was slain." Ichigo now faced Ulquiorra and pointed his sword at him.

"Fiyero, no", Ulquiorra started as the Fraccion shifted, ready to move.

"I said, let her go", Ichigo said firmly.

The Fraccion all trade looks before releasing Grimmjow, who stumbled forward. Ichigo picked up the broom before handing it off to Grimmjow.

"Elphaba, go, now", Ichigo said quickly, motioning offstage with his head, keep his zanpakuto in place.

"No, not without you", Grimmjow said, hesitating in leaving the stage.

"Fiyero, please", Ulquiorra said taking a step forward.

"Hush! Now! Go", Ichigo yelled out, to which Grimmjow hesitated yet again.

"Do it", Ulquiorra said with a nod, throwing the hat back to Grimmjow, which Ulquiorra had been holding the whole time.

With that, Grimmjow runs off stage quickly. Ichigo shifts his position and makes sure Grimmjow's off stage, sword still pointed at Ulquiorra. He then relaxed and set his sword on the ground.

"Seize him", Stark said and the Fraccion rushed forward and grabbed Ichigo, restraining him.

"Wait, what", Ulquiorra said, panic in his voice to add effect as he rushed over to the middle of the stage. "What are you doing? Stop it! In the name of goodness, stop!" Ulquiorra stood in front of Ichigo. "Don't you see? He wasn't going to harm me, he just... he just... he loves her." Ulquiorra looked down at Ichigo and both silently rolled their eyes at the sappy point in the scene.

"Glinda, I'm so sorry", Ichigo said with fake sincerity in his voice.

"Take him up to that field there", Stark said quickly as the Fraccion hauled Ichigo up onto the poles used for the scene, "Put him on one of those poles until he tells us where the witch went!" The Fraccion were soon carrying him offstage.

Ulquiorra tried to follow, but Stark held onto him by the waist. "No, don't hurt him", Ulquiorra cried out, "Please, don't hurt him! Fiyero!!!!" Stark dragged Ulquiorra offstage as Grimmjow was lifted on the platform to the stage, readying to sing 'No Good Deed'.

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Good? Terrible? Questioning my sanity? All of the above? xD Tell me what you think dolls. I'm happy to listen, just no flaming please. I understand the Bleach characters are badly out of character and such, but that's the point of this. It is just an odd idea my mind came up with. So, don't be rude about it. Politely tell me what you think or politely click the exit button. Simple as that.


End file.

Bleach, Drama, Humor