Wild Wild West 1. Prolouge

The moon cast its shiny light over the wander, its body sparkling as if just recently polished. Its occupants had long since turned in, but a very much awake Artie plopped onto his bed, guitar and recorder in hand. _I hope Jim won't mind my little one-man concert._

He gave the strings a few tugs and twangs, looking for the perfect melody. He began humming to the music and adding words. Soon, he was screaming shrill, high-pitched noises into the night.

"EEEE YA YA YA YA, DO-LA, YA YA YA YA YA YAAAAY-YA!" he half-sang, half-screamed, tugging the strings of the instrument mercilessly. "EEEE YA YA YA YAAAAAA!"

On the other side of the railroad car, Jim bolted upright, not happy that his sleep was disturbed. Turning over, he placed the pillow over his head, and hoped that whoever it was would shut up. But the noise was still there after 15 minutes had gone by. Jim finally decided that he was going to get up and demand an explanation. Throwing a dusty brown robe over his maroon striped pajamas, he made his way to where he'd heard the noise—Artie's room.

Jim swung the door open to see Artie sitting on the bed in his royal blue striped pajamas, swiftly strumming his guitar and singing loudly. Jim cleared his throat.

Artie immediately stopped, glancing up and Jim, the last note a _twang! _from his instrument. "Oh, uh, good evening, James."

Jim folded his arms. "It's 4:00 in the morning, Artie." he frowned, eying the equipment. "What's all this for?"

"I'm recording." Artie replied bluntly.

"For what?"

Artie shrugged. "I don't even know yet, but I have a feeling it will come in handy."

Jim sighed, "Can it please wait until daylight? I've got a meeting with Dr. Crane."

"Sorry Jim," Artie replied, "But nighttime's the only time I've got where it's quiet. I can't have people talking in the background when the music is playing."

"How long is this going to take?" moaned Jim.

Artie shrugged. "An hour, maybe?"

Exasperated, Jim put his head in his heads. "Nevermind," he said, turning around. "I'll go ahead and see if Dr. Crane's home."

"Good luck, James." Artie called after him. "I'll have this finished before you're back."

"You'd better," Jim muttered grumpily as he browsed through his wardrobe. He dressed in a flash and was soon gone, eager to escape the dreadful noise.

Artie shrugged and resumed playing. "OH LA LA LA LAYEEEE, OH LALA LAYEEEEE!"

_TWANG!_


	2. The Capture

**Note: This takes place about halfway through the episode when Kroll investigates Artie's room. To anyone who hasn't watched _TNOT Doomsday Formula, _you may want to watch the episode before reading in order to get a better understanding.**

Major General Walter Kroll opened his watch. Almost an hour had passed. He scowled and jammed it into his pocket. _I've made a horrible mistake inviting that Mr. Ortuglo! I'm going to go up there and kill him if he doesn't stop!_

General Kroll frowned as he recalled when he'd met the Arab at his Hadrian Club. He'd tried to avoid him, but Ortuglo insisted he had something for him. So, Kroll made the mistake of inviting him to dinner. He had locked the Arab in his room for an hour until supper, and anticipated he could not interfere with his plans.

What he _hadn't _anticipated was that Mr. Ortuglo had brought his guitar with him and was now singing in unintelligible Arabic. It was shrill and off-key, and, for Kroll, extremely annoying. And he'd been stuck in his office, listening to that awful music for the past 50 minutes.

But it gave him time to think. He had been told there was an intruder, and he wondered if that intruder had a partner, possibly an Arab.

Finally, Kroll decided he wasn't going to take it anymore. As soon as his henchman came, he grabbed his gun and hurried upstairs. It wasn't hard for him to follow the music and find the door. "I don't know who the two men are," he muttered to his man, "But I have a very good guess that the other is Mr. Ortuglo."

He unlocked the door and swung it open to see the guitar on the bed, and a little recorder device, but the Arab was nowhere to be seen!

"Where the devil did he go?!" exclaimed Kroll as he hurried to the window. There, he saw some thin rope that Ortuglo must have used to get out. He turned to his man. "Search the outside! I'll wait behind the door."

The man nodded and was gone in a moment. Kroll hid behind the door, caressing his pistol.

"He's after my doomsday formula, no doubt. And if I must kill him to have it, I will."

…...

Artemus Gordon hurried back to his room, the white head scarf drifting behind him like a veil. He grabbed the rope and climbed up to his room. _General Kroll will be back any minute now!_

Artie held his breath until he reached the top and saw no one, but he noticed the door was open. He also saw bootprints.

_Kroll must be here! Question is what should I do?_

Against his better judgment, he decided to climb in and get his gun. But as his back was turned, Kroll jumped out from behind and knocked out Artie on the head with the handle of his gun. Artemus fell to the floor, his headgear and glasses coming off.

Kroll knelt beside the unconscious agent. "So Ortuglo was behind this! But wait...who's this?" he opened one of Artie's eyes and removed his whiskers. "That's Artemus Gordon!" Kroll exclaimed, "And he's out to ruin my plan! That means the other intruder is James West!"

Kroll immediately called for his men. "Take this man to the shed, quickly! And be on the lookout for Mr. West!"

The men dragged off Artie, Kroll following. "He knows too much. I better get rid of him and West at the same time."

…...

James West hurried to laboratory as fast as he could. Reaching the inside of the heating chamber, Jim saw Dr. Crane's daughter, Lorna, on a pedestal, just barely able to stay balanced. She glanced at him in fear.

Jim put the tree-shaped blade into his derringer and fired it, hitting the wall. Tying to the railing, he shot out his hand trolley and slid himself across, grabbing Lorna and getting her to safety. They then hurried into the lab. Lorna gasped.

Dr. Crane lay on the floor, clutching his side. "Oh no!" Lorna cried, "He must be having a heart attack! They've been affecting him for the last two weeks!"

Jim knelt beside the doctor as Lorna rushed to him. "Daddy?" she asked, cradling his head in her lap.

The old man's eyes open long enough for him to see his daughter alive and well. "Don't cry, Lorna," he crooned to his daughter, "Don't cry. It's time for me to go. About my formula, Mr. West," he said, glancing at Jim, "It might relieve you to know that I wouldn't have given it to them."

And then, with one last look at his daughter, he passed on.

Lorna buried her face into his hair, crying.

"I'm so sorry, Lorna," said Jim quietly, "I'll get Artie and a wagon and be back in fifteen minutes."

Lorna nodded as Jim left, racing outside into the dark.

Suddenly, a gunshot rang out, and Jim spun around.

"Where do you think you are going, Mr. West?"

Jim stood in shock at the man with the gun. "General Kroll?" he whispered.

Kroll cocked the trigger. "Indeed. I think you'd better tell me why you were snooping around."

"What makes you think I'll tell you?" asked Jim.

"Lots of things. There's Mr. Gordon to think of, for one, and Dr. Crane and Lorna." said Kroll. "I've got them as hostages."

"You won't get what you want," said Jim, "Dr. Crane's dead, and Lorna's gone."

"Ah, but we've got Lorna," said Kroll, "We found her in the lab with her father. She's now in the ammunition shed. That's where you're headed, isn't it, Mr. West? I'd be delighted to take you there. Now, disarm him."

The men crowded around him, emptying him of all his weapons. Then, they escorted him into the ammunition shed. Jim didn't lower his hands until he was inside. He saw Artie, who had juts gained consciousness, and Lorna, both tied in front of the machine guns. West was tied beside them, along with a string on his boot.

"You'd better be careful, because if you move your feet, you'll set off the guns." said Kroll.

"Why are you doing this?" demanded Jim.

"Because you'll give this away," said Kroll, "I dropped out of the army to invent these machines because those people were too lazy to realize that an army needs _new _weapons, _new _techniques_. _And yet those old-fashioned buffoons keep their useless old ways!"

"You captured Lorna and Crane to get the formula so you could administer the Doomsday formula as a high powered explosive; the deadliest ever known to mankind."

"Correct, Mr. West!" said Kroll. "So I was right about you; you know too much! Well then, your future is sealed."

"So you plan to have us shot by these guns, if we try to escape." said Jim.

"They're timed," said Kroll, "They are to go off at 9 P.M. if you don't set them off first. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a body to take care of."

The Genral left, leaving West, Gordon, and Lorna all tied up together, with the barrels of the guns at their chests.

"Boy, I sure goof things." said Artie.

Jim glanced at him. "No wonder Kroll found you out! Like I said, Artie, no one sings off-key like you."

Artie snorted. "I'll keep that in mind. You got any other bright ideas."

Jim glanced at him. "Maybe..."


End file.

Wild Wild West, Adventure, Drama