Bleach 1. Chapter 1

Grotesque with the night.

Blood. The only colour that stands out here.

Yes, I've gotten very fond of that colour, seen it more than enough times to pin point it out of a million shades of red.

I've seen enough fights to for fill the entertainment in the cold winter nights.

But I grow tired of these things. I'm tired of fighting to keep myself alive in these conditions unjustified, unable to shake the foundation that was set upon me without regard.

If I had the choice, would I do something unforgivable? Would I throw away all of this?

Now the question beckons, what is all of this? What do I have to throw away?

All of what I have, given up for the slight favour of curiosity.

Oh but it appears I probably will.

For it seems I too seek freedom of all things.

If I was a human, if I was a normal person, would I then be able to hold such a thing like love?

Is that even an option I can grab onto?

Truly, I have done it to myself this time.

-One month later.-

I lay for what it seemed to be dying on a bed. The shinigami's sit screaming at me for answers. Orihime was there too, watching with a distort face.

A scream tore itself from my throat, and I clenched the bedspread like a lifeline.

It had been a month since all of it happened, it seems so long ago, even though I remember it so crystal clear. After my fight with Ichigo I had barely survived, I held pure intention of letting him finish me off.

His powers were none like I had seen before. He carried human, shinigami, vizord and hollow; and really it was his final form that killed me.

His mercy strong as he stood resurrected with his katana hanging no threat upon me. I begged him to kill me, to get it over with, to take away all of this hateful blood inside me. I just wanted it to stop.

But he wouldn't. Bearing eyes with guilt when he knew I could fight no more in my condition. Finally he signalled the time in which my grief would end, and then with sudden interest he was stopped. He was stopped by a girl who was still watching our battle. That girl, the one I looked after. Out of all the humans, it was Orihime.

She stepped out in the middle of us both and pleaded for Ichigo to stop.

Most of her words did not register to me as I barely kept myself standing, but she spoke of passion and innocence of the 'heart.'

No violence, no carnage; just her.

The next few seconds consisted of looks and stares of all kinds.

Time ticked so slowly then.

Orihime reached towards me with her arm and clearly wished to get closer.

She walked towards me with steps of hesitation and Ichigo called out.

"Inoue!"

She stopped for a second but strangely, she didn't look back, like he never spoke.

Instead she kept walking to me, pushing the emotional boundary I worked so hard for.

And although I wanted to, I could not flinch away from her.

Finally she was centimetres away and placed her palm on my chest, close to the hollow black hole; and took a pause of breath.

"Inoue! Inoue what are you doing?"

"I just want to-"

**_There is so much I want to say, so much I want to scream at you. _**

**_Why is it you?_**

**_Why did you save me?_**

**_Help me! I don't understand, I don't understand anything anymore. _**

**_I've lost my calm thinking, I can no longer think of anything else but this. _**

Without much time after I felt drowsy, and I had a slight feeling of emptiness. I fainted, watching the woman in front of me slowly fade from my mind.

My second form disintegrated and my eyes turned from yellow to green again. The fur from my legs left me and what was left of my arrancar uniform remained.  
On the floor, Orihime walked closer and kneeled down to my level, screams of Ichigo faded in and out as my hearing changed to selective.

Ichigo ran over to Orihime and grabbed her by the shoulder, asking her what she was doing.

"W-woman." I eventually said.

And then I entirely blanked out. I heard nothing after that.

She took me in her wing, and in the end I ended up in the one place I was fighting against.

Soul society.

Only but a few of the shingami's either trusted me, or talked to me.

No, it was more like accepting that for now they had to acknowledge me.

The others, acted as if I was a piece of worthless dirt.

But I didn't care.

I was not here for pretty lies, or good impressions.

I was here for her, and because of her.

Her, the soul with pure kindness.


	2. Chapter 2

Now as time stood still, I was helpless against whatever my body was doing to me.

I lie like a spoilt toddler, yelling in pain.

I didn't know what was happening to me, but all at once my chest felt like it was being pulled apart from the inside.

I had never felt like this before, even in all my fights.

"Ulquiorra! What's wrong?" yelled Orihime.

She was loud, but in all her efforts I could not reply.

"Don't yell, he's in pain, he might not be able to answer you." Said Matsumoto. "We need to reach the forth division and get something to calm him down and rid of some of the pain."

She spoke so calm and collected, like she thought I was going to be okay.

She sounded in that moment- like she cared.

"But we don't know what's wrong." Orihime cried.

"Just wait."

I wasn't feeling any better, In any case I was feeling worse.

Nor words or muffled noises could confirm this true terror.

I clenched my chest harder.

"Is it your chest? Ulquiorra…does your chest hurt?" Orihime asked.

I grabbed control of my head and nodded. She gave me a worried look and then she was interrupted.

Ichigo stood close to the door, where I couldn't see him clearly.

"He must be in a whole lot of pain." He stated.

"No kidding. It's obvious."

"That's not why I said it. What I meant was that when I was fighting with him back then, even in my complete hollow form, I almost killed him, I ripped him apart; and if it wasn't for Orihime he wouldn't be here. But that's not the point, throughout the whole fight he never showed any sign of pain. He kept the straightest face. You cannot tell me he wasn't in pain. The fact that right now he's screaming in agony, and clenching the hell out of his shirt, he's in pain. And for the first time you can see it."

I hated Ichigo's explanation, I didn't want him to say that.

It was true, it was all true.

**_'He's in pain. And for the first time you can see it.' _**

**_No! Stop! I don't want to be opened up, I don't want any of you to see me, don't look at me. _**

**_I'm so pathetic. _**

Soon after Ichigo's speech of my enduring, Hanataro, along with a few helpers from the fourth division came and surrounded me.

"Should I now?" Hanataro asked Matsumoto.

"Now, as soon as you can."

**_Should you what? What are you going to do with me?_**

**_Get away from me, I don't need you help!_**

In a bag he pulled out a syringe and he told me to stay still.

"Wha-what is that?" I stuttered under my breath.

"It's okay, we're just trying to calm down your system, but you have to sit still okay?"

"But i-" before I could protest, a needle punctured my arm. God knows what they put in me, but I swear it only took seconds for me to calm down. The pain had surprisingly mostly gone, all that was left was a small reminder when I moved my chest. And then that familiar feeling came around again, and then I fell into a deep sleep.

I don't know how long I slept for, or more so passed out for, but when I woke everyone had surrounded me and I was now in the fourth divisions nurse centre.

It was bright and blinding to my eyes as they opened.

"He's waking up." I heard someone say, however I wasn't fully awake and my mind wasn't registering who it was, even what gender they were.

I found it weird though because I could hear them loud and clear.

"Shut up you idiot, you're too loud."

This time I knew who it was. A voice so easy to understand. It was Ichigo.

**_Oh the irony of Ichigo telling someone else they were loud. _**

My eyes had now adjusted to the light and now I could see everyone. Orihime was beside me, she was smiling and she held such a heart to sit here and wish me well.

The rest were Unohana, Matsumoto, Hanataro and a strange occurrence of some man whom I had never met. He stood in the corner where Ichigo was earlier and looked at me, like he already knew who I was.

"Ulquiorra." Orihime whispered. "Can you hear me?"

_**Yes Orihime, I can hear you. So clearly.**_


	3. Chapter 3

"Calm down Inoue, he's just opened his eyes." Spoke Ichigo.

"I told you to call me Orihime."

"I can hear you."

Orihime jolted, and then smiled again. She held her hand out to me but I was too scared to take it. She insisted and grabbed it anyway, bracing it with so much care.

My chest didn't hurt anymore, nor did I need to clench the bedspread beneath.

"What's wrong?" I asked. Looking up at Unohana. "What happened to me?"

"We don't really know. For now it seems it's stopped, whatever it was. We gave you an injection to make you fall asleep so you wouldn't feel anything. You're not feeling any pain at the moment are you?"

"No, I'm fine."

"That's good. I put you under an x-ray, but nothing of the unusual came around; you seem to be perfectly fine according to my studies."

"I've never felt anything like that before, that wasn't something perfectly fine."

"Hmm you seem to be causing us some problems…Ulquiorra." The man spoke. His voice husky and calm.

Like I assumed, he knew me well.

Not that the story of an espada living amongst them was a secret; but I could tell there was more he knew than anybody else.

He didn't have shinigami clothes and he didn't carry a katana, however his spiritual aura felt at a captain level.

Despite my annoyance in the situation and my need for finding who this man was, my pride got in the way and I spoke harshly.

"I never asked for any of your help. The trouble is all your fault."

"Oh really? Because from what I hear it was Orihime who helped you. You took her help did you not? And if it wasn't for her- well you know the rest." He said, crossing his arms.

"I never asked for any of your help. Nor hers."

A silence broke in the room but Orihime could not find it in herself to stop smiling even after what I said.

"How ya feeling then?"

I ignored this question but then answered with a simple and private answer.

"I'm fine." The only thing I could come up with.

"Ulquiorra, you're not fine. You're hurt."

"Who are you to tell me I'm not fine?"

"Yo you should calm down there buddy." Spoke the unusual man.

"It would do you good to stop calling me buddy."

"Oh? And what are you going to do? Only just a minute ago you were in pain, I don't believe there is much you can do to me."

"I will strike you down where you stand."

"Well then, this one is fiery…for someone who is getting aid from a bunch of shinigami's you were just fighting against."

"Who are you?" I finally questioned, letting my anger of his threats get ahead of him. "Do you know who I am?"


	4. Chapter 4

"Oh I know you. Let's see…the dangerous hollow who worked with a traitorous shinigami. Goes by the name is Ulquiorra Cifer. You were ranked number four and you much to our surprise you survived a battle between Ichigo in his final form. You have stayed here for over a month now and it seems that a girl has taken kindly to you. Though everyone worriers about your presence, the captain has trusted you strangely enough to let you say; and you dare show your face. Yeah, I'd say I know quite a lot about you."

He walked a step closer, so now I was able to see him more clearly.

"You haven't met me before obviously, so I will tell you who I am; after all it seems we may as well get to know each other. The names Urahara Kisuke. Does that answer your question?"

"I guess so. Seems as though you had a grudge on me from the very beginning."

"Not a grudge espada, but a simple intention to keep a fair eye on you."

"If you want to earn my trust shinigami, going ahead and insulting me with a name I do not wish to be associated with; is not a good start."

"But it is not about the trust I must earn from you, it is the trust you must earn from us. You are only hanging by a thread boy, and going any further will result in it being cut. A name you do not wish to be associated with sounds strange, don't you think? By what means did you say that for?"

"It means as I said. I do not want to be called that." I answered.

"But…" he paused. "Isn't that what you are? An espada none the less."

"That's what I used to be, and sitting in this bed means I am no longer. Don't take it to heart when I say I'm glad that Aizen is dead."

"No one is taking it to heart here, although-"

I interrupted him with anger and forced out words that I didn't want to say.

"I hated being his little pet. If you are not already aware, the hollow world is dark and dammed to say at the least. You really only have two choices when you become a part of the hollow dimension- You either wither away weak and uncared for, or you take on the choice of eating your own kind, gaining strength from them. On the way advancing to higher levels.

It is either count your sorrows and stay alone forever or fail to exist.

You act as if we are bad people even to begin with, but honestly these are only blatant lies. A hollow is a human who has lost their heart to various things, they do not cross over to soul society, they do not guided by your kind, they are corrupt- and so begins the stage of becoming a hollow. Some look for certain goals, and some just rely on the anger of their human lives to fight their way through their tortured resurrection.

Then there is us arrancar who have lost some of their masks and have gained shinigami- like powers. You shinigami's don't really know what death is, even if it hit you. You throw yours away, while most of us wish for it back."

Everyone seems to listen closely to my story and took a deep breath as if they had been holding it the whole time.

"So, what was your aspect of death?" finally asked Ichigo.

"Emptiness."

"Emptiness? That's insane, I didn't think you could die of things like that."

"I don't understand why you don't consider emptiness as a possibility for death. But I guess that is one of the differences between you and I. See you could never understand what dying of emptiness feels like, and that is why you're weaker."

"Don't give us that bullshit!" screamed Renji in anger. "That is why we're weaker? Who do you think you are? Some god? We have killed plenty of your kind, and Ichigo killed Aizen. Now the last time I checked, Aizen was stronger than you and-"

"Enough Renji, enough." Spoke Ichigo calmly, putting a sharp barrier between yelling and almost silence.

"Enough isn't the right word."

"Neither is the word stronger." I stated.

He gave me a look of pure hate, then looked over at Orihime. He churned words until he came up with a better comeback.

"You will never be as strong as us. As strong as the people here, you will never have the heart to cater for anything human, anything kind. You are useless, wasting space and people's time with your worthless muttering of how you've given up on the world. You don't live, you exist. You take pity on your death and life as Aizen's slave, and no one could care less."

He slammed the door with harsh nature and everyone went quite.

"You're right. I just exist." I whispered.

**_I just exist._**


End file.

Bleach, Angst, Drama