Bleach Dear Diary

**_This is Dear Diary and it struck me while I was sitting and doing nothing on a god awful snow day._**

**_P.S._**

_( italicized words in parenthesis) = inner thoughts. _

**"Quoted talking." = flash back talking. **

_"Quoted italicized and underlined talking." = presently talking (outside the diary). _

**_Thank you, enjoy reading._**

* * *

**Entry 1: My motherfucking introduction and my first little fling.**

Dear whoever is reading my diary,

This is my fucking diary, so treat it with respect, also, I swear to god. If you read it, and I find out that you have read it, that will be the end of your very fucking existence; so don't let me catch you. My name is Ichigo Kurosaki and this diary is all about my sex life. My therapist thought it would be a good idea to write down every one of my flings, from the beginning up until now. What a load of crap this has to be, am I right? And the saddest part is that I was the one who forced myself to see a therapist in the first place, seeing as I always felt guilty right after sex. I was classified as a satyriases. To those of you who don't know what a satyriases is, well, this diary is all about sex, isn't it? That should answer your question _(it's the male version of a nymphomaniac)._

First before I go on, a little about me_…. (oh god)._

I am what you would call handsome. Or at least that's what I've been called by the older men in my sex life. I don't understand this though considering the fact that I am scrawny as hell, my hair is orange and in the sun all of my freckles want to come out. At this point in time I am twenty-six, gay, and my father walked in on me and my last 'lay'. I frequently visit a gay night club with my best friend Renji and his boyfriend Byakuya and I am known there as the nymph, because usually if they're even slightly attractive to me I would screw them. If I could face palm I would, thinking back, the faint memory of this weirdo coming up to me, trying to pick me up and calling me a slut, his pedo stash and god awful looks makes me feel disturbed, especially when he started trying to grind against me, telling me how much I liked it up the ass_. (If you could see my body shuddering at the thought you would probably laugh)._ Well excuse me, he was fucking ugly as shit, and there was no way in hell I would ever want to touch him. Ever.

Anyway, in the world I am just some plain business man who wears a suit and carries a brief case to and from work every _day (Just one of those normal life things)_, although the office I work for specializes in watches and there isn't any real demand for them _(I don't know why I stay)._ In fact, lately now I've been looking into part time work down where my cousin Shirosaki works. He had told me about it a while ago and I'd only been to his work once, but it was really nice, he works at a 'pawn' shop in a small neighborhood, or well, what would look like a pawn shop, say the word _pawn_ awkwardly and you've got yourself a porn shop _(Yey for screwing up English vocabulary!)._ I go down there Monday after work. So hopefully I'll have a new job soon and I can quit being a watch seller.

So now that that was a little bit about me, on to my first fling.

It was my junior year of high school, I had just turned seventeen and had just figured out I was gay _(after watching Renji dry naked in the locker room, I sprang… talk about awkward)_ and I really liked the one kid in my English class, my math class, and my gym class _(not Renji, though I did think Renji was pretty hot)._ Who I'm talking about is, and I'm not proud of it, Keigo Asano. Shit was he stupid, but man, we'd been friends for years _(he got hot)_ and I've never seen him date a girl, nor have I seen him pounce on any of our friends, only me, so my only thought was, hey, I can experiment with him, maybe he likes me.

Two hours after school and he was following me on his way home, Mizuiro Kojima walking next to him, texting. Of course as soon as Mizuiro veered off saying goodbye I stopped and turned to Keigo _(I wasn't going to say anything in front of the 'ladies' man')._ I looked Keigo in the eyes when he stopped walking to stare at me and I asked him if he liked me. At first he sputtered uncontrollably and his eyes were wide, he was trying to deny it, but when I put my hand on his shoulder backed him into the wall and kissed him he paused and kissed me back. I remember taking him by the hand, smirking and saying something along the lines of **"Is it so hard to like me?"** _(Later I felt embarrassed that I was the one who came on to him)_. After I said that he smiled and squeezed me tightly and followed me to my house.

We didn't do it right away. I was seventeen for god's sake, that and I had just found out I was gay, and I'd never had sex, so yea my hormones were raging just as much as the next guys but when you're seventeen you get afraid really quickly. We settled for making out and hand jobs, which felt great until I wanted more. Whenever Keigo was around me I couldn't stand it, since I knew he liked me and I had asked if he wanted to try having sex with me _(of course he said yes)_ and so I knew he wanted that as much as I did. Three days into our 'relationship' I forced him into the bathroom stall to give him a blow job, which with him was probably the weirdest thing to do.

A week into our dysfunctional relationship I had taken him back home with me on a Friday, my father was out of town and my sisters were at their friends' houses, so to any seventeen year old kid it's a gift straight from god. It was a good time at first _(and I really mean at first_). The mood was set with some candles due to power outage because of a storm and we had already made out a little so I felt horny and I could tell he was too, but damn, and it's not like I shouldn't have known this, but Keigo was so inexperienced that my ass felt like it was on fire within five minutes of penetration. I could not believe how much it hurt. He pulled out as quickly as he thrust in, muttering apology after apology at my pain.

I was going to do it though. I looked him in the eye, grabbed the lubrication that I had learned was needed and poured generous amounts onto my hand, which made Keigo turn red as he watched me turn myself around and begin to stretch myself. It stung at first because Keigo's first try at penetration, but when Keigo got to put it in again, it felt so much more comfortable, except for the fact that I felt really full.

In the end I couldn't criticize Keigo, for my first time it was pretty good, I had reached climax, he did too _(although it was a little earlier than me),_ it shouldn't have mattered who came first or second, he and I were both virgins before that night.

After that night Keigo stayed over the entire weekend and then Monday I felt too weird around him. He wanted to hold my hand, and I couldn't do it, in fact, I had lost interest in him. I wondered what was wrong with me for the longest time and then I realized that I had never really liked him in the way that worked in a loving relationship. I liked him in the way that he was there and I could use him. I cried in the bathroom stalls after this realization and when I told Keigo I didn't want to see him anymore in that way I felt guilty that I had hurt him just so I could experience sex. I will never forget the words that came out of his mouth before he switched schools. **"Thanks for the great time, Ichigo."**

I guess I really hurt his feelings, and I'm sorry for that, but I'd have been miserable if I had stayed with him. I guess it's also sad that I used him for sex and left him hanging…

_"Yoruichi, how should I end this?"_

_"Any way you want to, I'll be reading it later."_Yoruichi smirked.

Fuck you Yoruichi – Ichigo.

* * *

**_Chapter one of a new thing I'd like to call Dear Diary, all about Ichigos dirty side, if you hate it, please review, if you like it please review, I'd like to hear about it :D_**


End file.

Bleach, Adventure, Romance