Fairy Tail 1. Someone with Permed Hair

**Yo. Sakurai-san here. Just randomly writing a Fairy Tail fic after randomly reading through the manga and randomly enjoying it... **

**Fourth Wall protection level: medium. **

**Apologies to those who are following other fics (especially the poor Psycho Pass one). Too caught up im writing stuff like these to update...**

**Feel free to leave a review...well...enjoy...? ╰（￣▽￣）╭**

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"Huh?" the trio heard after falling down into the basement of the temple.

"WHO'S THERE?!" Lucy exclaims.

Something stirred amongst the rubble. Natsu and Gray prepared for an incoming attack from the stranger. They were not expecting someone to be around in the ruins. It is a girl around their age. She dusts her clothes and turns her violet deadfish eyes towards the group, running her hand through her wavy silver hair. There is an overall air of laziness surrounding this person.

Gray, Happy, Lucy and Natsu stares at the stranger in a gray cloak; the Fairy Tail group and the stranger pauses for a moment and they were anticipating an attack of some sorts from this person.

"Yo." she waved to them.

"You..."

"What's that?" she points to something behind, a pinky in one of her left nostril. Lucy wonders if this stranger has any awareness that she is in front of a bunch of strangers and there are two guys in front of her at the moment. Does she had any manners at all?

"A HUMONGOUS FROZEN MONSTER!" they exclaimed.

"DELIORA!"

"That thing has a name?" the stranger asks in surprise, pinky up one of her nostrils.

"What is it doing here?!" Gray exclaims. While everyone was getting confused, the stranger stretches and yawns before finding another area.

"If there's nothing else, I'll get going..." she tells the group while waving.

"A presence of a frozen demon doesn't affect her at all?" Lucy asks in confusion. She wonders if she had found someone with a thicker skull than Natsu. The stranger seems to have no qualms to nap in a place with a frozen demon at all.

"That girl..." Natsu pauses for a while, eyes on the stranger's back. "she smells weird." His nose twitches a little when he said that.

"Why does that bother you? We have a frozen demon here, Natsu." Lucy asks, wondering what in the world is wrong with the salamander.

"She smells of strange places and...There's something I can't pin down." he frowns.

"Natsu, was that love on first sight, aye?" Happy asks the Dragon Slayer who shook his head.

'She smells a little like that frozen demon.' Natsu notices.

* * *

"Gya gya gya gya, shut up. Is it mating season already?" Gray heard someone drawled while trying to fend himself from Lyon's Dynamic Ice Make. The other Ice Mage did not bother finding out who it was and sends his ice eagles into the direction which the voice came from.

"Get lost." Lyon tells the intruder icily.

Gray was about to cast his Ice Make Shield when the Ice Eagles were being thrown off and one of them missed Lyon by a little.

"Get lost you say…" the voice yawns. It is familiar. When the mist clears, the outline of a person came into view and what Gray saw was a little surprising.

The stranger with wavy silver hair had one of the Ice Eagle beneath her foot and she was looking down at it with little care. Then, much to both of their surprise, she crushes the Eagle with little effort before looking back up to Lyon.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW FUCKING LOST AND PISSED I AM NOW?!" she yells at Lyon. "First off, I have no idea where the hell I am. Then I wanted to take a nap and got interrupted by this shirtless guy and his friends!" she points at Gray before continuing. "I've never gone so long without having a Chocolate Parfait and I was thinking perhaps this place was great to nap until you guys started making a huge ruckus! Do you have any idea how hungry, sleep-deprived and angry I am at the moment?!" she rants on.

That is not the problem now though. Lyon and Gray were wondering why in the world this person is capable of crushing Lyon's Ice Wolf with her (almost) bare hands. It is ice made from magic; it should not be that fragile.

"That's none of my concern." Lyon tells her coldly before casting another spell.

"Get down, I'll take him on." Gray tells the stranger, preparing to mould another shield to defend her.

"So he was the joker who sent those damned birds over?" she asks the shirtless Ice Mage, cracking her knuckles.

"You are not intending to take Lyon on by yourself aren't you?" he asks her as she starts stretching.

"I'll give you my cloak. Now you owe me a Chocolate Parfait." She tells him, throwing her gray cloak over his head.

"Nobody calculates debts like this."

"I do." She smirks to Gray before pulling out a wooden sword from her belt. "Eren*, I'm jamming this thing up your ass you hear me?"

"OI! DON'T BREAK THE FOURTH WALL!" Gray snaps at the stranger.

"You shall know pain, Kanato*."

"STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL!"

"What good would a toy sword do against this." Lyon states, his hand waving lazily. "Ice Make: Gorilla."

"I'll just have to jam my toy sword up Kondo-san's* ass!"

"I give up." Gray sighs. He is not going to defend the Fourth Wall anymore.

Anyway, Gray doubted if she is capable of dealing with the Ice Make Gorilla with a wooden sword. Lyon would most likely kill her with his Ice Make and he would have lesser trouble to deal with…

The Gorilla falls after being sliced into pieces by what Lyon and Gray believed to be 'a toy sword'. Lyon did not have the time to react; the stranger delivers a punch into his face which threw him off his feet. Gray was too shocked by that sight. He is sure that this person did not use any magic but it is crazy. How in the world did she manage to cut through the Ice Make?!

Another thing, she did complain about being hungry right? Where in the world did she get the strength to do that?

She grabs Lyon by his collar to raise another fist.

"Hey! Hang on! I'm supposed to be the one taking him on!" Gray snaps out of his shock to try stopping the girl who is assailing the Ice Mage with a series of punches.

"Five Parfaits."

"Ok..." Gray sighs in defeat. The stranger lets go of Lyon roughly and kicks him before heading off to another side of the room. He had met his fair share of scary women (Erza is one of those) but he made a mental note to never provoke those with silver wavy hair.

When the battle was over, he turns around to see the stranger asleep in one corner.

Was that the person who had beaten the crap out of Lyon with her bare hands?

* * *

*Lyon's voiced by Yuki Kaji in the anime..who voices Eren Jaeger from Attack On Titan (AKA Shingeki No Kyojin) and Kanato Sakamaki from Diabolik Lovers.

*In the Gintama universe, Kondo Isao is well-known to be referred fo as a Gorilla.


	2. Bond James Bond

**Chapter 2 up~! Please enjoy and review! Suggestions welcomed~! **

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"Yo, wavy-haired girl! My name is Natsu from Fairy Tail!" the Fire Dragon Slayer waves to the stranger when they were back in the village with Erza.

"Aye! I'm Happy!"

"I'm Lucy from Fairy Tail too." The blonde girl smiles to the stranger who is wolfing down the fourth Chocolate Parfait.

"Gray Fullbuster, I'm from Fairy Tail too." The shirtless Ice Mage introduces himself to this person who almost tore Lyon's ass apart. Well, at least he is doing it to her formally.

"Erza, I'm another Mage from the same Guild too. Please stop eating when we are introducing ourselves, it's rude."

The stranger looks up to the redhead for a while before attacking her fifth Parfait.

Natsu and Gray broke into cold sweat when they saw that response. This person is going to get it from the strongest woman from Fairy Tail. Real bad. Happy, Natsu and Lucy grabs Gray to one side and spoke in hushed tones while Erza is getting progressively annoyed by the stranger's lack of manners.

"Are you sure that she was the person who had managed to cut down Lyon's Ice Make with only a wooden sword?" Lucy asks Gray.

"I saw it with my own eyes. That can't be wrong. She did not use magic at all."

"What? Is she that strong?!" Natsu exclaims, getting slightly excited about the prospect of fighting this person. However, up till now, all Natsu know of this person are: she is constantly sleepy; she is constantly complaining about the lack of sugar; she is constantly telling everybody that she is lost.

"Aye, it is either the sword which cuts through the Ice Make is magical or that she…"

A crash was heard from behind where Erza and the stranger were. Finally, Erza had lost all of the little patience she ever possessed and attacked the stranger who was too caught up in demolishing her Parfaits promised to her by Gray. Even if she did manage to pummel Lyon to half-dead with her bare hands, they doubt if she is able to survive a hit from Erza. This is one of the strongest people from Fairy Tail she is dealing with…

The group turns to see Erza's fist in the ground but the stranger is finishing up her fifth Parfait beside Gray.

'How the hell did she manage to get here?!' the group gapes as she licks her spoon clean.

"You know, it's rude to interrupt someone when she's eating." She drawls, cleaning her spoon on Gray's bandages.

"THEN INTRODUCE YOURSELF!" the Fairy Tail gang exclaims.

"I'm afraid I got lost on the path of life." She tells them, wiping her lips clean with white hanky with light blue and green swirls.

"We have no interest in how lost you are. We are very aware that you're lost!" Lucy snaps. She had been complaining about being lost from the moment she joins Natsu and her during their adventure.

"I like desserts and sweets."

"What we are asking for is your name." Gray sighs.

"I like wearing boxers and I like to sleep. I'm 17." She tells them, running a hand through her wavy silver hair.

"I have no interest in your underwear preference." Erza snarls at her. "We are asking you, what your name is!"

"Jiya." She manages after a long pause. "Ban Jiya."

"Ban?! Who the heck names their daughter Ban?" Lucy frowns.

"You can try asking my mum and old man about that…" then, she turns to have her back facing the group. "But you'll have to do that when you become one with the earth…" she states with a gloomy aura shrouding the room.

Everyone except for Natsu gapes at Ban when they heard this.

'Her parents are dead.' they realized. 'And she had yet to get over that!'

"What? They were Earth Mages?" Natsu asks Ban whose aura of gloom and doom had yet to dissipate.

"They were not mages…" the aura intensifies at Natsu's question but he could not get it.

"Was that some form of Magic?" Natsu asks Ban but he was being pulled off by Lucy. Erza and Gray went over to Ban to try her best to comfort the girl.

"Natsu! Stop being so insensitive!" Lucy tells him off.

"What? I was wondering if there's Earth Mages who are capable of merging with the Earth and that's going to be so cool."

"What she meant was: her parents are dead!" Lucy tells the naïve Dragon Slayer who went 'ohhhh.'

Meanwhile, Gray had to cheer Ban up by promising her with 5 cartons of Strawberry Milk. For Erza…

"If you've lost your family, we'll be glad to have you joining us." She tells Ban.

"Yeah! Fairy Tail would be your family!" Natsu smiles to Ban.

"Aye!" Happy agrees.

"Fairy Tail? What's that?" she frowns.

"We're a Mage's Guild!" Gray tells her and the group shows her their marks. "There are a lot of different Guilds out there but we are one of the best!"

"No, we ARE the best!" Natsu declares proudly.

"I'm not a Mage. I'm a samurai." She pats the three swords strapped by her side. "With a healthy knowledge of ninjutsu." She shrugs.

They were confused by her statement. Does that make Ban a samurai or a ninja? Regardless of that, what does she meant by ninjutsu?

"What is ninjutsu?" Natsu was the first person to break the question out to her.

Ban sighs and did a weird hand sign. Another Ban appears with a poof. The band of mages pauses to inspect the 'new Ban' before coming into the conclusion.

"That's magic!" they concluded.

"That's not magic. That was a Kage Bunshin No Jutsu, that's a ninjutsu!" Ban wonders why in the world is wrong with people here.

"No, that's definitely Magic and it makes you a Mage!" Erza tells the confused Ban.

"No, that was ninjutsu." She sighs in exasperation, watching her new friends getting excited.

Even with the defeat of Deliora, the villagers could not return to normal and the Fairy Tail gang was discussing about how to solve the problem. Meanwhile, Ban is just freeloading off the villagers. Her appetite was on par with Natsu's and it is making Lucy wonder how in the world she is capable to staying in shape with such appetite.

It was not until Erza's declaration that she would destroy the moon that made Ban snaps out of her nap.

Another thing: Ban really loves to sleep.

"Are you serious about this?!" she asks Erza who had ex-quipped her amour.

"Perhaps you would like to help Natsu about this?" she asks. "I've heard from Gray that you've managed to cut through Ice Make without magic." Ban's eyebrows knitted at the request while digging her nose.

"No. I might give off an impression that I'm a moron but I'm not that much of a moron." She stood beside Lucy and Gray.

To their amazement, the sky cracked when Erza's spear came into contact with the moon. Erza then explained to them about the mysterious 'curse' of the island which confused Ban even further. How in the world…

"That's Fairy Tail for you." Happy told her.

"Eh?" Ban looks down at the talking cat which had sprouted wings earlier.

"We're the best!" Natsu cheers, slinging his arm around Ban's neck, watching the village leader's tearful reunion with his supposedly dead son. "They're more like angels than demons aren't they?" he asks Ban while watching the demons.

"You've never seen a real demon to make such comments." Ban told him.

"We saw Deliora didn't we?" he asks Ban while enjoying the feast. Ban closes her eyes when being asked by Natsu about this.

"A real demon…" everyone pauses in their meal to look at Ban. "Has blonde hair and violet eyes...scar on her body…"

"Wait, where's the horns?" Gray asks her.

"She has them…" then her face turns purple before collapsing on the table.

'That encounter with the demon must've been traumatizing…'


	3. Leaks and Bursts

**Hey hey guys! Nice to see that you are enjoying this Fic~! :D **

**FYI, Ban could mean Ten Thousand, the Swastika, barbaric or uncouth/vulgar (for the last two meanings, it is the same kanji as 'Mido Ban's' 'Ban', from GetBackers) in Japanese depending on the kanji being used. Most people by far had assumed the 'Ban' in 'Ban Jiya' to be the kanji for barbaric, uncouth or vulgar so they kept asking 'who names their daughter 'Ban'?'. Well, it is up to the readers to interpret whether the Kanji for 'Ban' in 'Ban Jiya' is that or not. :D **

**Hope that the above manages to clear up some confusions for readers who are not familiar with the Japanese language (well, Sakurai-san is no pro in it either). **

**GrayXBan? NatsuXBan? SomeoneelseXBan? Please let Sakurai-san know~! Please enjoy and review~!**

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Ban looks at the ship with her face getting pale. Natsu and she stood close to each other before turning their attention to the rest of the group.

"Let's swim over." Both of them told the rest, Ban had a thumbs-up to the group while her other hand is digging her nose.

"Not gonna happen!" Lucy told them both. "Ban-san, do you suffer from motion-sickness too?"

"It would be great for Fairy Tail to have another Dragon Slayer!" Natsu slaps Ban's back and her pinky almost got stuck in her nose from the impact.

"Not a Dragon Slayer, I'm a samurai.*" She corrects Natsu. "I get seasick easily. Nuts, I'll swim with you." She turns to Natsu.

"Not Nuts! It's Natsu!"

"We won't be waiting for both of you. Hurry up and get on the ship." Erza told the pair who boarded reluctantly.

While Natsu was knocked out cold, Ban was hanging off the railings of the ship emptying her stomach throughout the journey. It was a waste because Erza wanted to give a proper introduction of Fairy Tail to her while they were on their way back to the Guild but she guess it could not be helped. Ban is too busy emptying her dinner and breakfast into the ocean to be able to listen to anything.

Meanwhile, they were discussing about the stranger aboard when she was too busy vomiting.

Lucy and Gray had been relaying what they knew about Ban before Erza meets her and the information sets her into deep thought. She recalls the moment her punch had missed the girl to find her standing next to Gray. It was strange. The strange magic she uses confuses them too; she insists that it is ninjutsu and charka but they have no idea why magic was being referred to in such terms.

When it was Gray's turn to have any input, the ship came to a stop.

Ban was the first person to drag Natsu off the ship to rush off to the port. It was a strange sight to the Fairy Tail members to see Natsu and another person celebrating their arrival on stable land. It is usually the Dragon Slayer doing that alone.

"Land. I love you as much as I love my Parfaits and Strawberry Milk!" Ban exclaims.

"Hey Ban, let's head off to our Guild! It's the most awesome place ever!" Natsu tells his new friend, dragging her along the streets heading up to the headquarters.

"You'll have to receive punishment when we reach later, Natsu." Erza tells them and Natsu lets go of Ban when he heard that.

"DON'T TELL ME WE'LL HAVE TO DO THAT?!" Gray yells, grabbing his hair. "NO WAIT! I NEVER WANT TO DO THAT AGAIN!"

"What's that?" Ban and Lucy asks the Ice Mage.

Natsu's face gets progressively worse after hearing from Erza that 'that' was already given. Ban and Lucy were confused about what the S-class Mage is talking about with every moment passing by. The Ex-quip mage grabs Natsu by his scarf to drag him off as he was crying out for help. Ban is wondering if Fairy Tail's 'that' is as bad as the 'that' she gets from her mum back home.

Ban tried to ask Lucy about 'that' but it appears to her that Lucy is relatively new so she has no idea what the heck those three are referring to.

Ban was expecting a castle when what came to her sight was…

"WHAT HAPPENED TO OUR GUILD?!" Lucy exclaims.

"You mean that this isn't the result Guild Master's bad taste in architecture design?" Ban asks them, digging her nose and flicking the booger away.

"Who in the right frame of mind would want a Guild building like that?!" Lucy questions the stranger who shrugs at that comment.

"Who?!" Natsu grits through his teeth, watching the destroyed building with anger seething through his eyes.

"What happened here?"

"Phantom." They heard a lady's voice from behind.

The voice belongs to a woman with the strangest bangs Ban had ever seen in her life. She wears the rest of her silver hair past her shoulders but her bangs is being tied up in a little bunch standing from her forehead. Ban had no idea that someone could look that good sporting this kind of peculiar hair.

"It's mortifying but we're done in." the lady tells them.

Ban stood confused but the lady noticed her presence after some time to snap out of her melancholy for a while.

"Hi there, I'm Mirajane, a mage from Fairy Tail. You are?"

"Yo. Ban Jiya." She greets Mirajane while digging her nose.

"Odd Jobs taker*?" Mirajane was a little confused.

"Name's Ban. Jiya is my family name."

"Oh, your parents gave you an interesting name." she tries to make it as light-hearted as possible in light of the Guild's situation.

"Well, I'm afraid you'll have to become one with the soil to let them know about this compliment personally…" she turns her back to Mirajane with that familiar gloomy aura spreading out to their surroundings. Erza went up to Mirajane (who was shocked by that reaction) to let her know this.

"She gets a little gloomy when it comes to her parents." She told Mirajane while Lucy is trying her best to cheer Ban up.

"Oh I see…" she lets out an awkward laugh, watching Happy and Lucy trying their best to cheer Ban up. "Well, although this is not the best, welcome to Fairy Tail." Mirajane tells Ban after she was being bribed out of sadness by 5 chocolate lava cakes. The lady leads them to where everyone were and it seems to Ban that Erza was a big shot in the Guild because everyone was relieved to see her back with Gray and Natsu.

While most Guild members were getting riled-up by the destruction of their Guild, Ban took the corner of the room to make sure that everyone does not kick up a big fuss over her. Then, her nose caught the heavy stench of alcohol coming from her right. She looks down to see an old man wearing a strange pointy hat with a mug of beer in his hand and he looks up at the stranger with silver wavy hair.

Both of them stood staring for a while before Ban breaks the silence.

"Ojiichan…" she says before continuing, "I need to take a dump badly; where's the toilet?"

The old man points to the other end of the room and the stranger disappears almost instantly. He could vaguely hear shouts and yells of people from the direction the stranger disappears to and someone yelling 'get off before I shit my pants!' amongst those voices.

Makarov wonders: is he that drunk?

'Oh, I forgot one of the iron pillars had destroyed half of the ladies…' he recalls while telling Natsu off and telling them to calm down.

"Master, we've brought back a friend." Erza told Makarov but Ban was nowhere to be found.

"Where's Ban?" Erza asks Lucy who shrugs at that. Everyone was too affected by the state of the Guild to care about the stranger with wavy silver hair when they entered the room.

"WHO THE HELL DESTROYED HALF OF THE TOILET?!" they heard Ban's voice booming from the other end of the room. Natsu, Gray and Lucy held their noses when she came into sight. She smells.

Makarov and Ban squints at each other before gasping with a finger pointing at each other.

"YOU! OSSAN! YOU DIDN'T TELL ME THAT THE SEWAGE WAS ALL OVER THE PLACE! ONE OF THE SEWAGE PIPES BURST WHEN I WAS SHITTING HALFWAY!"

"I FORGOT TO TELL YOU THAT!" Makarov laughs at that. Natsu and Gray stood far away from Ban and Natsu looks like he is going to faint any moment. The girl lets out a cry of frustration at that. This is why her mother told her that she should never get directions from drunken old men.

"Master, this is our new friend." Erza was the only person present who did not really mind her smell at the moment.

"Master? This drunken old man is this Guild's master?" she gapes at Erza at that.

"Yo! I'm Makarov Dreyar, Fairy Tail's Guild Master." The old man smiles to the shitty-smelling stranger. "Welcome to Fairy Tail!" his arm extends to smack Ban's butt.

"Master! First Lucy then now our new member! Behave yourself!" Mirajane snaps at the old man.

"What are you? A shrunken, old and perverted version of Luf-*" Lucy covers her mouth at that.

"Don't break the Fourth Wall!" she tells Ban.

"You have a fine butt, young lady. What's your name?" Makarov tells Ban who did not seem to be offended at all.

Ban takes in a deep breath, dusts her clothes and smiles to the old man.

"Jiya. Ban Jiya." Makarov raised one of his eyebrows to look at her.

"Your parents gave you a weird name. Isn't Ban a little too masculine* for a cute young lady with a fine butt?" Mirajane and Ban's Fairy Tail friends (inclusive of Natsu, who had been furious moments ago) paled at that.

Ban turns her back to face the Guild Master and that aura engulfs the entire room. Some of the mages misunderstood that as another attack from Phantom and were calling out the rest for incoming attack preparations. They had thought that to be some kind of magic casted by Phantom to get their morale dropping for another incoming attack on their battered Guild.

"Well, you'll have to become one with the Earth to get that across to them…" she tells him gloomily. "My mum would be happy to pass her nice ass to me…but that happiness would be in another world…"

"Master, she gets depressed when someone mentions her parents." Erza and Mirajane informs Makarov, who was sobered up by the change of Ban's attitude.

"Well…I did not mean to put it that way…"

"My old man would be proud that I did not inherit my mum's face…but that pride would stay in the other dimension…together with the spirits of…"

"Ban, don't be so sad…well…er…" Natsu, despite her smelling like a toilet, gets to her side to comfort her. "I'll give you my dessert for tonight ok?"

"Thank you, Natsu. My old man would be glad that I have made a new friend like you…even when he is having a never-ending vacation with King Yama…" her expression got worse; Natsu thought he saw the humanized face of despair and depression when Ban was telling him about this.

"5 strawberry shortcakes." Gray tells her.

"My mum…"

"5 fishcakes!" Happy adds in.

"From…"

"5 boxes of macaroons!" Natsu pleads and Ban returns to normal almost instantly after that.

Makarov heaves a sigh of relief after the strange aura disappears from the room. He was not expecting someone like Ban to be this unstable when someone mentions about her parents. She does not look like someone who gets beaten down this easily…well, until that display.

"She would be the new mage to join Fairy Tail today. Everyone, please welcome Ban to Fairy Tail!" Erza announces to the rest of the Guild.

"Not Mage, it's samurai." She sighs.

"Welcome, Ban-chan!" Mirajane smiles to her. "Where would you want me to put your Guild Mark?"

"Wait, I did not remember saying anything about…" she gapes at them and Erza drags her off with Mirajane. "NATSUUU! HELP ME!" she cries while the ladies drag her to somewhere else.

"I'm sorry, Ban…" Natsu smiles to her; nobody with a working brain would want to mess with Erza.

"NUDIST ICE MAGE!"

"I HAVE A NAME YOU IDIOT!"

"BOXERS! ABS! KINTOKIIIII*!"

"DON'T BREAK THE FOURTH WALL YOU NATURAL PERM IDIOT!" Lucy and Gray yell at her.

Lucy was about to get to bed after the discussion with the rest about Phantom Guild when she found Ban huddling up in the blanket and shivering slightly.

"BAN?! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?!"

"Well, Ban has nowhere to go so she had decided to bunk in with you." Erza told Lucy who wonders why in the world she failed to notice Ban's presence.

For someone who had gotten her Guild Mark, Ban looks traumatized. She had bathed but Lucy was a little adverse in sharing a bed with Ban who smelled of the toilet earlier in the day. However, Ban was still looking pretty shaken and she kept mumbling incoherent sentences.

"Erza, what did Mirajane and you do to Ban?"

"Well, she's pretty strong so we had to resort to using magic to restrain her." that is not good news.

She turns around to see Erza and rushes out to the boys. It was then Lucy saw the girl holding onto a plushie shaped like a white dog with comma-shaped eyebrows and she had changed into a light blue jinbei which seems to be a little small for her frame. The garment looks a little tight around her chest.

"NATSUUUU! I'LL SLEEP WITH YOU!"

"That sounds so wrong." Lucy sighs after hearing Ban.

Gray and Natsu were on the verge of getting into another fight when Ban dived in between them with her plushie, almost squashing Happy in the process. Both Mages were quite shocked by her action and she was looking at Natsu with the best puppy eyes she could muster. She did not mind sleeping on the floor as long as she is not sharing a bed with Erza.

However, before Natsu could reply to her request, she turns to Gray with the same expression.

"Please, I beg of you, you have the nicest abs." she pleads to Gray who blushes a little at that compliment.

"Hey! What about mine?! That's not fair!" Natsu exclaims, taking off his shirt. Lucy is wondering how in the world she is going to rest with the entire ruckus here.

Gray took off his clothes and Natsu did the same thing too; much to Lucy's embarrassment and despair. Both of them were arguing about who has a nicer body while trying to Ban to be the judge but…

She had fallen asleep when they were halfway through their little competition.

* * *

*This is a reference to Katsura Kotarou's catchphrase from Gintama: Not Zura, it's Katsura!

*The alternative reading for the kanji for Yorozuya (Gintama) could be read as Banjiya; this means 'A House of Ten Thousand Businesses' which is an equivalent of an Odd Jobs taker. Pun intended. Yes, this time, Mirajane is taking 'Ban' as the kanji for 'Ten Thousand'.

*The way Makarov's hand stretches out to hit someone's butt reminds Sakurai-san of Luffy D. Monkey from One Piece...

*Makarov is referring to the 'Ban' for barbaric and vulgar kanji for this case...

*Sakata Kintoki from Gintama is voiced by Nakamura Yuuichi who voices Gray Fullbuster in Fairy Tail.


	4. Saw my body?

**Hey guys, new chapter up. Able to give Sakurai-san some direction? NatsuXBan? GrayXBan? Someoneelse (please suggest?) X Ban?  
This is because...Sakurai-san is pretty lost about the pairing too...  
**

**Please review and enjoy! **

* * *

Ban had gotten up early with Natsu's foot in her face, Gray's leg over her body and Happy on her stomach. She had a hard time trying to pry them off to get off from the floor to prepare herself for a morning shower. When in the bathroom, the self-proclaimed samurai looks at the mark on her left shoulder.

She is a member of Fairy Tail now.

It feels odd staring at a mark on her shoulder. Her mother had something like this too but it is a swirly tattoo; when she asked, she would always tell her that it is her pride. Her old man had never really talked about that tattoo her mum spots either. All he said was the swirl has some special meaning to her and made her who she is today.

That reply confused Ban; how could a random tattoo carry that much...well, now that she sports this Guild Mark, she guesses it carries much significance to her as well.

'Shinya, where are you?' her expression falls by a little while drying her hair.

"I NEED THE BATHROOM FIRST!" she heard Gray and Natsu yelling at each other while musing about where in the world did Shinya disappear to.

When she turns around to take her clothes, the bathroom door bursts open to Gray and Natsu trying to squeeze in first.

Both Mages stops to gape at the naked Ban who has a towel over her hair.

"Yo. Morning." she waves to them nonchalantly.

Both of them surveys Ban from head to toe with their mouths wide open and their faces got steadily redder. Ban ignored them to walk off to get her undergarments.

"You know, you guys better not step on me when we are sharing a..." she turns around to see both of them unconscious on the floor, blood flowing out of their noses.

Erza and Lucy woke up to the ruckus to find Ban helping Gray and Natsu up to throw them into the nearest couch.

"What happened?"

"They saw me naked." Ban, fully-dressed bow, replies to Erza who was not surprised by that statement at all but Lucy had another reaction comparatively.

"WHAT?! BAN! WHY ARE YOU SO UNAFFECTED BY THAT?!" Lucy screams at her, who went off to comb her hair.

"Well, what should I do? Tear out their eyes? Balls?" she drawls. "Anyways, it is not like they could do anything if they wanted..." Erza nods in agreement with that.

"I doubt if Gray and Natsu are capable of subduing Ban without tearing down the apartment." Lucy gapes at Erza when she heard that comment. Ban ignores Lucy's overreaction completely to start stretching.

She was mildly disappointed by her apartment though; there is no proper kitchen for her to cook. She sighs before making her way out of the apartment to return with what it seems to be a whole lot of ingredients and pans to whip up breakfast with three clones to carry all the stuff in.

Meanwhile, Lucy is taking a bath to start her day right; she wonders what would happen if she comes out though; the Ban-Gray-Natsu combination seems to be a little dangerous for her to leave them unattended. However, thinking that Erza's around, she doubts if those jokers would be getting into any sorts of mischief.

By then, Gray and Natsu had recovered from what happened earlier and the stranger grabs Natsu's collar to drag him over to a corner of the apartment.

"Natsu, you are proficient in Fire spells right?" she asks while lying whatever she is planning to cook out on the table.

"Aye, Natsu is a Fire Dragon Slayer, Ban; he's one of the best around." Happy informs her.

"Would you be able to create a fire for cooking? I don't want you to burn down Lucy's apartment." She asks, tying a borrow apron around her waist.

"You are cooking?!" Gray asks her, looking rather surprised that this slacker cooks.

"Do I look like I'm here to start a campfire?" she frowns at Gray. "My old man and mum were great at cooking but my mum refuses to cook anything other than tonkotsu ramen because she claims that my old man's a better cook than her." she tells her new friends.

"Ok!" Natsu prepares to breathe his flames while Ban takes out a frying pan.

"Gray, able to do an Ice Make stove of some sorts?" she yawns and the Ice Mage refused.

"Gray…" Erza chimes in and he did what was being requested.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN MY APARTMENT?!" Lucy screams after getting out of her bath to see Ban cooking on an Ice Make stove with Natsu blowing flames to help her in frying something.

Ban turns around nonchalantly to Lucy and waves to her saying, "Morning, Lucy! Want some sunny-side up eggs?"

"I prefer toast….no wait, what the hell is happening here?!" Lucy exclaims.

"Aye, Ban's making breakfast for us…Ban, your stir-fried fish is nice!" Happy tells the silver-haired girl who gave him a thumbs-up while flipping the eggs. Erza is enjoying her morning coffee at the dining table and Natsu looks like he is working real hard to make breakfast with Ban.

It was a truly odd scene. While Gray was pretty adamant about Ban cooking, he changed his mind when he saw Happy's fish. It looks and smells good. Another thing though, it is odd to see three Bans in the room. When the cooking was finished, she made Gray undo his Ice Make and Natsu could finally sit down for his well-deserved breakfast.

"You know, I've heard of some pretty disturbing stuff about Fairy Tail while I was out getting food. The people around were talking about the Southern Entrance Park and there were some of Fairy Tail's members in trouble there…" Ban tells them after they were done with their breakfast.

Natsu rushes out of the house upon hearing this and the same goes for Gray and Happy. Ban was not intending to get off from her seat until she realized that Erza had been staring at her for the whole time.

"Ban."

"What?" she asks the Erza while digging her nose.

"Are you aware that after yesterday, you're officially a mage of Fairy Tail?" Ban stops digging her nose to shrug at the comment.

"Not Mage, its samurai." Erza was about to attack her when she continues, "Well, I thought it would be better for us to fill our stomachs. We would need a lot of energy later." She tells Erza while washing her hands. Erza smiles at the nonchalant lady before making her way out of the apartment.

Ban was the last person to arrive at the scene and Natsu looked pretty much ready to expend his energy on walloping the culprit. Although Ban had witnessed some pretty disturbing things in her life, she has to admit that the scene in front of her was unnerving. To see her fellow 'comrades' being pinned to a tree with an unfamiliar mark being engraved on the lady's stomach calls out to something within her.

She is trying her best to remain calm about the situation; she could not possibly lose her cool when her new friends look pretty ready to tear someone's ass apart after breakfast. What surprised her most was the fact that Makarov declared to them that they are going into a war against this guild called Phantom. She thought he was some calm old man but even when in face of such atrocity, she guessed that not even an old man who gets drunk after witnessing the damages did to his Guild Building could stay calm.


	5. Old Men should take a break

While Lucy was getting worried over the trio's condition, Ban is at the other corner of the room nodding to sleep. It was a little annoying for the stellar spirit mage to see someone from her Guild having little or almost no concern over the well-being of Levy, Jet and Droy.

"I cannot forgive them…"she sobs while looking after her injured friends and turns around to see Ban sleeping this time. "BAN! HOW COULD YOU SLEEP IN SUCH A SITUATION?! OUR GUILD IS UNDER ATTACK AND OUR COMRADES WERE BEING ATTACKED!" she snaps at the other girl in the room.

Ban's frowns a little before waking up to an extremely angry-looking Lucy.

"Wha? Hey, please get this straight, I was half-forced into joining the Guild." She tells Lucy while digging her left ear and yawns.

"HOW COULD YOU SAY SOMETHING LIKE THIS!" she was about to grab Ban's collar when she disappears and by the time Lucy notices that, she was at the door.

"Heck to that, I'm getting a Chocolate Parfait to calm my nerves." She drawls before leaving Lucy alone.

"YOU UNGRATEFUL BITCH!" Lucy screams after Ban closes the door.

'Well, this might be troublesome…' she thought.

"Where's Ban?!" Natsu asks Gray in the middle of the fight against Gajeel.

"I don't know!" the shirtless mage replies, knocking another member of Phantom down. "Erza, did you see her?"

"Wasn't she with Lu-" Erza did not manage to complete her sentence when something came crashing through.

The famed Iron Dragon Slayer of Phantom was being knocked down by an unknown object. When the smoke clears, Natsu and Gray saw the familiar wavy silver hair covered in a layer of dust. Also, there is something different in the atmosphere. It was as if something dangerous was being let out of the cage and it is starting to eat them up slowly. Everyone thought it to be Makarov's fury initially until they managed to realize that Ban was the person who is the source of the uneasiness in the air.

"You are the one who trashed the Guild Building aren't you?" they heard time, her voice is slowly losing all the lazy tone and it is getting colder.

"So? Who the hell are you?" Gajeel asks the intruder who had pinned him against the wall with a wooden sword. This is strange; how in the world did a wooden sword managed to pierce through his shoulder?

Ban's expression got severe when she heard that and makes her way over to Gajeel. He did not wait for the girl to attack him again and sends an iron pillar over but she grabs it to swing it at his direction, destroying half of the wall of the Phantom Guild building. Natsu and Gray stops to gape at the sight while Erza simply smiles at that gesture.

Fairy Tail members are experts in property damage and this person is getting on par with an average member of Fairy Tail.

"Me? You have any idea that one of your pillars destroyed half of the ladies?! And the sewage pipes burst when I was in the middle of my diarrhea and I was covered in at least 3 days' and ten persons' worth of shit?!" She snarls at Gajeel. "ARE YOU AWARE OF HOW MANY TIMES I HAD TO WASH MY CLOTHES TO SCRUB OFF THAT SMELL?!" she screams, hurling a punch at Gajeel's face. "ARE YOU AWARE THAT I HAD TO SPEND OVER FOUR HOURS IN THE TOILET AND MISSED OUT MY NAP TIME?! YOU KNOW HOW PISSED I WAS AT THAT?! WASHING UP MY SHITTY CLOTHES AND UNDERWEAR!" she throws another punch at him while yelling.

Everyone pauses after hearing that from Ban. She came here to beat up the person who had wrecked the toilet?

"Wait! I was supposed to be the person who should be beating him up!" Natsu exclaims after snapping out of his surprise.

'What kind of Fury was that? That was definitely not the Giant's Fury.' Erza and Gray wonders while watching Natsu pry Ban off from Gajeel and the Fire Dragon Slayer was struggling by a little. She was about to land another blow on the Dragon Slayer when something came crashing down from the roof.

Something known as their Master, Makarov.

"Ji-chan!"

"Master!"

That surprised Ban and she releases the Iron Dragon Slayer to rush over to the tiny old man.

"Oi, old man, you ok?!" Ban asks him, trying to help him up from the fall. She did not wait for Erza's command and grabs the old man up to heave him over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes.

"Ban!" Natsu was about to stop her when Erza ordered them to retreat.

"Newbie, why are you…" one of the members tries to stop Ban who is shuffling out of the crowd.

"We have a dying person here now fuck off before I tear your ass apart." She glares at them and the temperature around the area drops. Gray makes his way over to where Ban was to grab her arm to stop her from leaving…

"Ban, we could still fight on."

"What's the use of fighting futile fights, Gray?" She pushes him away before taking out a kunai. "Do you really intend to lose more of your friends for something like that? Old man here is dying and I'll pass on that; as long as I'm alive I'll live by my own rules. I'm not going to participate in a stupid fight like this." Then, she was so fast that Gray could not see her when he had thought of what he wanted to tell her.

'I don't want to fight any battles like that anymore.'

"Ban…" Makarov croaked while she is rushing back to the Guild Building.

"Wha? Hang in there, old man. No, hang on tight." Her grip tightens on his body. "We're going to travel real fast now."

"Where are you from?"

"Somewhere far…I think. I'm not sure; I've been lost for quite some time." She tells him, concentrating her energies on the space in front. "Are you in pain? Please don't fall asleep, ok?"

Makarov manages to laugh feebly at that.

"What about your hands? Aren't they bleeding now?" Ban scoffs at that comment.

"This is nothing. My mum makes sure that I know pain well enough to function properly in times like these." she replies to Makarov, knuckles and palms burning from the fight against Gajeel earlier. That man has really hard skin for one. "It's going to heal very soon so no worries, ok?"

For a moment, Makarov felt as if his body is going to be torn apart from the amount of air resistance that is going against him but within seconds, both of them were in front of the Guild Building. Ban makes no comment and ran up to what she presumed to be his room to settle him down in his bed.

She looks down at the half-dead old man in the bed and strains her violet eyes to get a grip on her nerves. Dying old people is the last thing Ban could stand; she is trying her best to recall what Shinya used to tell her without breaking down like what she used to.

'Ok, calm down...I need to calm down...' she inhales deeply, trying to keep her hands steady. 'First off, I need to split the Oni Magic Power and my normal Magic Power apart….hey, how the hell am I supposed to do that?! Why am I using 'Magic Power' instead of 'Charka'?!' she wonders in confusion. 'No no no, I have to concentrate. At least I'll have to make sure that he survives until help arrives…' she takes in a deep breath to try out what she did a long time ago with Shinya by her side.

By the time her comrades had arrived, they found Ban asleep in one corner of the room with the unconscious Makarov to arrange for the old mage to be sent over to Porlyusica, a healing mage. They were pretty impressed by the fact that Ban was capable of bringing Makarov back to the building within such a short time though but she was still asleep.

When she woke up, a teary-eyed Lucy embraced her immediately.

"I'm sorry, Ban!" Ban turns to the rest with a look of sleepy confusion at that apology from Lucy.

"Lucy, if I'm shorter, I'll be suffocated by your boobs." She drawls, running her hand through her hair. "Man, you have nice boobs."

"Ban, this is not the time to talk about my boobs."

After getting the general idea of what is going on, Ban turns around to see Cana arguing with a man through a crystal ball. He started making comments on Lucy's chest, about how Makarov should die and about weaklings in the Guild through the communication Lacrima and Ban sat beside Cana to watch the man nonchalantly.

"Oi, Laxus is it?" she asks the man over the communication Lacrima who stops to gawk at her.

"Who is this person?" he takes a closer look at Ban through the Lacrima. "You look like you have a nice pair of boobs. What's your name?" Ban looks down the collar of her shirt at this and back up at him.

"Are you weak against women with great butts?" Natsu and Gray became beetroot red at that. Cana was about to tell her off when she continues, "Lucy is not going to become the woman of someone as shitty as you. If I was that old man, I would've confiscated your stupid headphones. You look like you're trying too hard to look cool you know? I would've taken those headphones to shove them up your ass." She tells him off while digging her nose. "And take off your damned earphones when people are talking to you, Bansai*."

"OI DON'T BREAK THE FOURTH WALL!" everyone around her snaps at her at the same time.

"By the way, I'm Ban Jiya." She waves to Laxus lazily. Before she could start telling him off, Mirajane breaks the Lacrima with her fist.

"I can't believe it…is such a person…really a member of Fairy Tail?" She tells them with the corners of her eyes tearing up.

"Dattebayo*, Mira."

"Don't break the Fourth Wall!" Lucy and Gray tell her off.

"Fine, next time, I'll fight too!" she exclaims.

"What are you talking about?!" Cana snaps at Mirajane while Ban asks Natsu and Gray who are Laxus and Mystogan, the person Cana was trying to locate earlier.

"Well, Mira, you don't have to blame yourself about that…" Ban told her after hearing her out. "I was in the same room as Lucy too…but I left to get a Chocolate Parfait." She smiles sheepishly, much to Cana's chagrin.

"You WHAT? WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?!" she yells at Ban.

"I needed sugar." She responds to Cana's outburst calmly. "And I heard that the joker who destroyed the ladies was there."

Cana and Gray did not know whether they should laugh or cry at that reply.

"So you were there to beat up Gajeel?!" Gray asks Ban who nods.

"What else? Are you aware of how much time I had to spend on cleaning up Lucy's toilet to get rid of the smell after getting the Guild Mark and cleaning my clothes? That's at least two hours of my sleep!" she tells Gray.

"I don't know whether you're a genius or an absolute moron." Gray responds at that.

To be honest, everyone was quite impressed by her display back there, beating up Gajeel and stuff. However, they weren't that impressed after she ran off halfway while carrying Makarov before Erza was able to issue orders to retreat. There were other members in the Hall talking about how the newbie was a coward who ran off at the slightest hint of danger and for not listening to Erza now but Ban could care less about that.

After hearing Lucy out, she is more concerned with another attack on their battered Guild low on morale and strength.

Also, she needs her does of sugar badly. While she was musing on whether she should get a Chocolate Parfait or shortcake, they felt the ground shaking. Everyone rushes out to see a building moving on six mechanical legs making its way over to their Guild.

"Howl's moving castle." Ban gapes at the infrastructure to earn a knock in her head from Lucy.

"Ban, stop breaking the Fourth Wall!"

"Then what's that? Kairinmaru*?" she asks Lucy and gets another smack in the back of her head from Gray.

"That's the moving Guild of Phantom Lord you idiot." Gray snaps at Ban who looks totally unaffected by the presence of the monstrosity.

Then, a cannon starts assembling and Erza in her towel starts yelling at everyone to get down.

"We are royally screwed..." Ban sighs at that.

* * *

*Ban is referring to a Gintama Character called Kawakami Bansai, who wears headphones like Laxus.

*Dattebayo is Uzumaki Naruto's catchphrase which comes off as 'Believe it!'.

*Kairinmaru is the spaceship of Sakamoto Tatsuma from Gintama.


	6. Fire's Shadow will illuminate Fairy Tail

"That's a magic convergent cannon!" Ban heard from the crowd behind them.

"Are they going to blow our Guild away?!"

Erza rushes forward to start ex-quipping her amour while the rest simply stood still to watch. They were too shocked by the sight of the cannon to take any action. For Ban, she was wondering how in the world did that thing managed to move over without much difficulty because she was pretty sure that there was not enough space for something that size to walk over.

No time for any of that curiosity, she has to do something before Erza gets killed by that blast.

"ERZAAA!" Natsu bellows, trying to fight Gray's grip on him to stop him from going over to Erza. Much to the horror of the Fire Dragon Slayer, Ban walks forth to Erza's side.

"BAN! WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?!" Gray yells at her while trying his best to hold Natsu back.

"BAN! NO! GET BEHIND!" Natsu yells at the newbie.

"Erza, I'll help you." Ban tells the mage while standing behind her.

"Ban, get back! This is too dangerous!" Happy tells the girl who smiles at them.

"I'm glad to have friends like you all here…" she tells the group. "Hey guys, remember one thing."

"Ban, no! Erza and you shouldn't be doing this!" Natsu and Gray told them at the same time.

"Ban, they're right, you're new to the Guild, and you should stay back." Erza urges her.

Before Erza could make any comments, she felt something warm wrapping around her body underneath her amour. Ban had her hands together making another one of those strange seals with her hands and she is concentrating on Erza. Gradually, she felt the warmth enveloping her body and it was getting stronger as seconds past until the moment her fist came into contact with Jupiter's blast.

The impact threw her off her feet but Ban managed to catch her; she did not have enough time to weave a thicker amour beneath Erza while she was also busy with forming a shield over the party but it was better than having nothing. However, in the process of catching Erza to prevent her from hitting the ground, Ban had broken something. Namely, she had broken three of her left ribs. Also, she had scraped her limbs from that impact from Jupiter.

'That was some seriously strong shit…' Ban thought while getting up with Erza.

"ERZA! BAN!" she heard Natsu.

"Hang in there!" Gray told them while making his way over to the pair with Natsu. Erza had taken the full impact of the blast was knocked out cold while for Ban, she was being saved by Erza who got in front of her at the last minute to block off the blast for her.

"After Makarov…now Erza is unable to fight too. You don't stand a chance!" they heard the announcement coming off from the Phantom Lord building. "HAND OVER LUCY HEARTFILIA RIGHT NOW!"

"WE'D RATHER DIE THAN TO GIVE UP ON OUR COMRADE!" Erza screams back at Jose, almost bursting Ban's eardrums.

She was halfway through massaging her ears when Natsu starts yelling too. She was about to tell them to keep the volume down when Jose starts yelling at them through the speakers of the Phantom Lord building. Ban lets go of Erza to storm up to the Guild building. She had enough.

"Feel the pain, Fairy Tail. You have two choices!" Jose's voice booms through the speakers, much to Ban's annoyance. "Get killed by my soldiers or die by Jupiter."

"Where's Ban?" Erza manages.

"Ban, where are you going?!" Gray calls out to the girl who is stretching while walking over.

"My mum always told me when I was young: the fire's shadow shall illuminate all our friends." They heard as she getting further away."It was nice knowing you guys so I'll let you know: the fire's shadow shall illuminate Fairy Tail. Besides, I've had enough of the noise pollution. I'm going to shut them up once and for all before going deaf from all the loudspeaker shouting." She gave them a thumbs-up before disappearing from their line of sight.

"You know, the last sentence was unnecessary, Ban Jiya." Cana sighs at that. Lucy was in tears when she heard that. "We've got to do something about Jupiter. I don't think Ban would be able to handle that alone."

"I'm going to smash it down." Natsu tells Cana while cracking his knuckles. "Fifteen minutes right? I'll do it. I won't let Ban go alone for this one. Happy!"

"Aye!" the Exceed sprouts his wings to bring Natsu over to the target.

"We'll have to catch up on Ban."

"Aye, Natsu. Ban is strangely fast." Happy tells Natsu while helping the latter keep a lookout for the self-proclaimed samurai. They could not find Ban though; so they decided to head off to the cannon first to do something about it.


	7. Lost-er and lost-er

It took Ban quite some time to reach the room where Natsu was in. After all, she is the kind of person who uses stairs and doors like a civilized person most of the time. She was about to greet Natsu when the building starts shifting.

"SO it DOES transform into a robot!" she muses, ignoring the fact that Natsu is unable to move from motion sickness and she was in the presence of their enemy, Totomaru.

"Who are you?" Totomaru asks Ban who is getting pretty psyched-up by the fact that they are in a robot now.

"Baa…Baannn…" Natsu groans, pulling her pants. "En…en…enemy…"

"Oh, sorry." She stops to look at Totomaru who notices that she has three swords strapped to her belt and one of those is a wooden sword. Upon taking a better look at the handle of the wooden sword, he saw words inscribed on it but he could not tell what was inscribed from his distance.

Before Natsu could say anything, Ban walks up to Totomaru who is preparing for an assault from the samurai-like girl with silver wavy hair. She saw movement behind Totomaru from the corner of her eye and smiles the sweetest smile she could manage in her current mood to the person. Totomaru was taken aback by that but he remained vigilant; he is not going to let his guard down over this kind of bullshit.

Happy and Natsu were pretty shocked by what Ban is doing. Is she trying to flirt with Totomaru in the middle of a war? Of all people around, why someone from the Phantom Lord Guild?!

Gray and Natsu was a little annoyed by that but Natsu is too sick to do anything about it.

"Hi, I'm Ban." She smiles and before Totomaru could respond, Gray appeared to freeze him up. Ban heaves a sigh of relief at that and pats the Ice Mage's back.

"Good job, Gray." She tells him after Elfman tosses the frozen Totomaru out.

"Natsu, you're pathetic you know that? And you." He turns to Ban who flashes him a sheepish grin. "What were you doing?!"

"Vehicles shouldn't make a man sick, he should make them sick." Elfman tells Natsu who is still nauseous. Ban tries to avoid Gray by helping Natsu up but Natsu was pretty adamant on that too.

"Ohh, you guys are just too cool seriously….bleshhhhh…" he felt disgusted again. "And Ban, what the hell did you think you were doing to that guy?" she lets go of Natsu immediately.

"Well, I knew that Gray and that big guy are behind so I was buying some time." she tells them, back to her normal self. "Besides, he's pretty easy wasn't he? I would rather conserve my energy to beat up that Gajeel…and does that even matter?" she asks the pair. The room stops shaking suddenly and Happy volunteers to check out what is going on.

Meanwhile, the four of them were in the room waiting for news and Ban fell asleep while waiting.

'Does she have any idea that we are in the middle of a Guild War and we are in the middle of the enemy's territory?' Gray wonders while looking at the sleeping girl. After Happy returned to bring back news about what is going on outside, the three guys ran off, leaving Ban to stare into space in confusion.

Who should she follow?

"I've never been this lost in my life before…" she sighs while taking a better look at her surroundings.


	8. WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT!

**Ok, for the part on the flashback, perhaps some readers who reads the other Gintama fic Sakurai-san wrote, it is some sort of a spoiler...**

**If not, please do enjoy!**

* * *

The girl gets up from her spot after some time to head off to where Natsu went to. However, the enemy was knocked out cold when she reached. Erza is there in front of a shocked Happy and Natsu. She was about to tell Erza off when the older lady collapses into her.

"You are a really stubborn woman, you know?" Ban sighs.

"Look who's talking. Who's the person with broken bones?" Erza replied to Ban.

Ban was about to reply to Erza when they heard the announcement made by the Phantom Lord. The Dragon Slayer turns to a pale Ban and she starts running off from them.

"Ban! Where are you…"

"I NEED TO POOP!" she yells in reply to Natsu while Lucy's screams could be heard through the speakers. Erza felt her condition worsening when she heard Ban.

After hearing Erza out, Natsu runs to the direction Ban had gone to. Gajeel was getting bored when he heard someone coming to his direction and…is that the sound of walls being torn down? Well, he was getting bored with throwing daggers at Lucy so…

"WHERE'S THE TOILEEEET?!" that voice is familiar…then Gajeel sees someone familiar running to his direction. Oh, that person who…

"What…"

"I need to poop!" she screams and Natsu bursts out from the wall behind her.

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU, BAN! YOU'VE INTERRUPTED…" Lucy yells at the girl who was running around in circles, holding her butt at the same time, ignoring the fact that Lucy is still being pinned to the wall and that Natsu is engaged in combat against their enemy.

"Ban, please help out." Happy asks the girl who stops in her tracks and pulls out the bolts.

The trio turns to watch as Natsu was being overwhelmed by Gajeel's Iron Dragon Slayer abilities and Ban runs headfirst into the pair. Lucy was about to stop her but it was a little too late.

The pair was preparing their Dragon roars when she lets out the loudest fart Lucy had ever heard from a lady. That fart managed to throw off the Iron Dragon Slayer's roar but it came with a cost; Natsu was thrown off-mark too and he was almost knocked out.

The Dragon Slayers regained their footing after the fart and both of them were still at it.

Happy and Lucy wonders how in the world is Ban capable of pulling that off with so many people around. That girl with natural perm silver hair has almost no sense of shame when she was returning to their side with that deadpanned expression.

"It wasn't poop. I wanted to fart." She tells them a-matter-of-factly.

"BAN! SERIOUSLY! WHAT THE HELL IS UP IN YOUR HEAD! YOU WERE ALMOST KILLED!" Lucy screams at her.

"Well, Dragon Slayers have sensitive noses right?"

"That's not the point, aye, you were in the middle of two Dragon Slayers who were about to unleash their roars, aye."

"If I have what it takes to get in, I would definitely have what it takes to leave." Lucy is starting to wonder if she had ever understood the power Gajeel or Natsu possesses. However, that one fart had thwarted Gajeel's roar but it was a double-edged sword.

Natsu was almost knocked out from the smell too.

It took both of them some time to recover from the stink bomb to continue fighting while Ban stood beside Lucy to watch. Lucy was wondering just when would Ban pick up her sword to help Natsu out in the fight; she is starting to get really anxious over the fact that the Fire Dragon Slayer is getting walloped but we have Ban Jiya here digging boogers and looking unaffected.

"Aren't you going to…"

"My mum told me before: never interfere men's brawls. It's rude." She tells Lucy, flicking a booger away. "I think it's going to be better if Natsu asks for help that we interfere…"

"Fire…" they heard Natsu. Ban turns around to the Fire Dragon Slayer in confusion at the request. The other Dragon Slayer had been eating pieces of iron to replenish his energy but Natsu did not have anything at all.

Lucy summoned her Celestial Spirit, Sagittarius, immediately at the request but Ban was doing something else. Happy stares at the girl in confusion as she starts digging through the sleeves of her yukata. She seems to be searching for something important while Lucy is in an argument with Sagittarius about fire.

Then, Ban pulls out an old-looking scroll and unrolls it.

"I was being told that this has Fire….but erm…" she frowns a little upon recalling what her mother told her about the fire.

*Flashback*

"Remember; never ever unseal the fire in this scroll unless it is absolutely necessary." A lady in her late twenties tells a little girl with wavy silver hair as she sits beside a man of around the same age as the woman, but he has the same silver hair as the little girl. Both of he and the little girl had a pinky in their left and right nostril respectively.

"Why?" she asks the woman, looking as lazy and sloppy as the man beside her. The man stops digging his nose and turns his attention away from the magazine he had been reading and pats her hair roughly. Using his clean hand.

"Listen to your mum, brat. Stop asking questions or I'll wipe my booger in your stupid wavy hair." He drawls.

It was too late; the little girl had wiped hers on his white yukata. The woman opposite them sighs at the sight. The man screams at that and smacks the little girl at the back of her head lightly.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR?! WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT?!" he yells at the little girl. The woman and the little girl points to him at that.

"And whose fault it is that she has the wavy hair? The genes for wavy hair is too strong!" the woman snaps at the man.

"But why?" she asks her mother again.

"The fire in this scroll…it's something which won't stop burning until you re-seal it back inside in time. You've not perfected the sealing technique at the moment so don't risk it."

"That was because you didn't make it a point to have enough strawberry milk during pregnancy." the man, by now, readers should be able to identify as the little girl's father, sighs at that. Her mother did not hesitate to throw a kunai at his direction and it hits him square in his forehead.

"Who was the one who finished my stash of strawberry milk when I was pregnant?!"

"Help me...your mama is bullying me again." he turns to the little girl who is somehow very interested in the magazine he had been reading.

"First House Rule: never mess with mama..." she whispers with her nose buried in the magazine. "Good luck, papa."

"WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT?!" the man screams seconds before his demise by his wife.

*End of Flashback*

'But I'm a lot older now right? What the hell…nope. Not risking that with everyone here…' she stuffs the scroll back into her sleeve and starts to do some strange gestures with her hands. Happy watches Ban in confusion as she starts taking in a deep breath as if she is going to blow something out from her mouth…

Sagittarius was about to help generate fire when fire shoots past Lucy and him; almost scalding them both in the process. She thought that it had been Natsu when she saw the Dragon-shaped flames but she turns to see that it was Ban.

"Lucy…Ban just did some weird hand signs and started inhaling…then…" Happy points to the Dragon-shaped flames which surrounds Natsu who was equally surprised. Gajeel was rather surprised by the turn of events too. Natsu devours the flames after getting past his initial shock and burps.

"I thought your mum told you that it's rude to interrupt a fight between men?"

"Well, she didn't say anything about not helping a man who's requesting for support in the middle of a fight." She replies to Lucy.

It is time to show the other Dragon-slayer what he is made of.


End file.

Fairy Tail, Adventure, Humor