Naruto 1. Chapter 1

Impossible Things Indeed.

"Am I mad?"

"It seems that you are, you're mad, bonkers, completely gone around the bend. But I'll tell you a secret. All the best people are."

"My father used to say that he would think of six impossible things before breakfast."

"That's a good practice."

_-Tim Burton's Alice in Wonderland, Through the Looking Glass._

* * *

Impossible things included are complete and utter lunatics running free, me ever owning Naruto or Alice in wonderland, and me being a good writer.

"You're very late you know."

* * *

Hiashi never did believe in imaginary things. They were after all, imaginary. So when his eldest daughter came up to him asking about rabbits bedecked in waist coats and cards that painted roses red, he did the only thing he could. He isolated her. It was for her own good, you know. He couldn't let people know that she insisted upon telling him the story of a nearly endless rabbit hole, she had a thing for rabbits.

"They are always late for everything." She said.

He was still a little skeptical.

One day Hinata ran off, 'following a white rabbit in a waist coat' she said. She returned ten minutes later, hair mussed, dress dirty, and thoroughly triumphant looking.

"I returned Gamabunta!" She exclaimed, her usually timid voice booming with victory.

"I'm sure you did darling."

And so Hiashi sent her to an insane asylum.

It was for her own good, you know.

* * *

"Tell me, what's your name dear girl?"

"H-hinata."

"And where do you come from?"

"I-I came with my f-father. I'm usually n-not crazy, sir."

"I'm sure you usually aren't."

And so Hinata followed the white haired man wearing a waist coat and a most peculiar mask.

His hair swished about, and from his pocket he pulled a watch. Shaking his head, he returned it to its resting place, muttering about the time. Rabbits _are_ always late for everything, you know.

* * *

Down the corridors they went. Down and down and down, then they turned right. Red powder flashed out from under one door on her left, staining the bottom of the wood. But still, they walked. They reached some stairs, and down and down and down they went. Hinata looked at the white haired man strangely when they reached a garden.

"How do the plants grow down here without sunlight? And why are all the roses red?" White ones were her favorite.

"Because she likes them red. If they were white or yellow or blue we would have to paint them. And only Sai likes painting." He replied.

"Oh." She said, then he shoved her into a hole in the ground.

And down and down and down she went.

Tumbling down the familiar endless hole, she waved at the white haired rabbit. It took him a minute to remember he had to escort her.

Rabbits are always late for everything, you know.

* * *

"Welcome back Hinata." Two voices chimed in unison. Hinata smiled at King Jiraiya and Queen Tsunade, they had decided to get along after Hinata returned Gamabunta. They were husband and wife. But one would never think so, after all, Tsunade liked red roses and Jiraiya like yellow ones. It was a most difficult problem, but Tsunade was the woman, and Jiraiya liked having a woman. And so the roses stayed red. Or they would have to be painted, and only Sai liked the paint.

"Why am I back here? I thought that everything was right in Konoha." Hinata questioned, she was very confused.

"It was, for a while. It has been many years and another has tried for power. He was once our colleague, but after we married, he has long since been upset. He found his champion that has befriended his summon. And like Naruto, he must be beaten for me—and Jiraiya to remain in power."

Hinata was hesitant. She had befriended Naruto and grown to admire him, but she wasn't Tsunade's true champion. That was Sakura.

"Why me? Why not Sakura?" Sakura had been the one to defeat Naruto in battle, Hinata had only handled Gamabunta. Then again, that wasn't a small feat.

"Although Sakura is my champion, she's a little, tied up at the moment." Tsunade gestured behind her and the two aforementioned champions stepped forward. Both looked the slightest bit older and there was one striking difference.

"You're pregnant?" Hinata wondered, aloud. She was much bolder in Konoha, it was not real and so she was not afraid. Her pale gaze flickered the Naruto who blushed a bit and looked down. "And I assume it's yours?" Naruto quickly tried to defend himself.

"I didn't know you would be coming back, and well." He trailed off, obviously losing whatever speech he had.

"I am sorry Hinata. I knew how you felt and still I said yes." Sakura held up her left hand, as did Naruto.

Two matching rings. They were married, lovely. Hinata slowly stepped backward. If Konoha wasn't real, why did her heart hurt so much? Why did she feel pain when she fought Gamabunta? Why was she still here? She again reasoned with herself. She knew it was real, but for her father's sake she had to remember that it wasn't.

"I see." Turning to face the royal couple quickly, willing herself not to cry, Hinata was just able to reply. "I'll do it." Kakashi laid a hand on Hinata's shoulder in support. Hinata could barely smile at his timing.

Rabbits _are_ always late for everything, you know.

* * *

"Sasuke." The voice was brisk and hardly ardent. Orochimaru looked down at his champion.

"What?" Sasuke's voice was rough and scratchy. He'd been down in the sand for too long.

"Hinata has returned and she will try to destroy you. Sakura is unable to do anything as she is pregnant, however, I'm sure Naruto will interfere." The snake-like man could barely hold in a hiss when he mentioned Sakura and Naruto together. They had a child, and children were the most delicious to a snake.

"It doesn't matter." Sasuke bit out.

"Oh, but it does."

* * *

"You will engage him here. We have sent Orochimaru a message proposing a spar and he has agreed. You will merely gauge his skill and we will strategize from there." Jiraiya circled the spot on the map marked 'Kumokagure.'

"And that is where I will meet his champion?" Hinata murmured, more to herself than the people surrounding her.

"Yes, it is," Naruto spoke up, having remained quiet for the majority of the discussion. "I knew Sasuke when I was younger. It's kind of ironic really. He always wanted power, and well, now he's got it. He was jealous when I was taken away by Jiraiya, and look at where he is now. Champion, just like me."

"Yeah. Champion, just like you." Hinata gritted out, before turning away abruptly and stalking out the door. She still hadn't recovered. Sakura and Naruto watched her go, Naruto starting to follow—but what could they do? Though Naruto may still have feelings for Hinata, when you're married in Konoha, you're married until death.

* * *

"We must prepare, Sasuke." Orochimaru spoke, lounging on his throne, looking every bit as royal and smug as Tsunade and Jiraiya combined.

"Indeed. I refuse to lose this battle, or lose face at all. Especially in front of a _woman_." Sasuke's words were sharp and hard, his face remaining stoic. He'd longed to fight against Naruto, but as a new father the enthusiastic man was hard pressed to keep himself alive. And that meant not fighting. His mental image of Hinata was a muscled woman with wild red hair and a toothy grin. She was blood thirsty, of that he was convinced. But he would be meeting her soon enough, and that's all that mattered.

* * *

Okay, so this is really disjointed so far, I thoroughly apologize for my lack of writing skill. I haven't really decided on a pairing yet. Everyone nix the Akatsuki will be in this fic. I saw Alice in Wonderland today and I'm pretty freaking pumped, so I decided to write this. It's rather generic in it's premise, but I promise that it's different. At least, I hope it's unique. Anyway, hope you like it! Also, I usually don't bag for reviews, but my last stories have been like dead on that front, and I'd really like to change that.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey there, this is the second piece of Impossible Things. I'm surprised you're even the slightest bit willing to read this.

There aren't any reviews, so there's no one to really thank, however I'm going to thank people anyway.

Thanks to Dark Queen Helba and Rakero-Chan for alerting the story :D

Enjoy.

* * *

"You'll have to forgive me, Hinata. I encouraged them to get married." Gaara spoke up. His sand forming his figure from nowhere.

"It's fine." She gritted out in return. She was slowly coming to terms with the couple. It had been four years for those here in Konoha when it had been a short couple of months. She was nineteen now, she had to let it go. She had to learn how to get over things such as heartbreak, especially when the thing she was in love with didn't exist in the first place.

"It obviously isn't." Gaara's typically frozen countenance had progressively been melting as he befriended the people of Konoha. He disappeared and reappeared at will, however, when he was younger he couldn't control his situation. After leaving so many people unexpectedly, he had given up trying to create any relationships with anyone. His brother and sister had died in an effort to look for him when he disappeared one day. From then on, he vowed to learn how to control his powers. And so he did.

"It has to be. I can't fight Orochimaru's champion as a blubbering mess now can I?" Her fists clenched, but she let out a sigh and she slumped over.

"No you can't. But that doesn't mean you'll stop feeling like one." Gaara tried to reassure the girl. Hinata was taken aback. This was the most she had ever heard Gaara speak. When she had met him for the first time, he was still unable to phase in and out properly and so they had left each other as strangers. The second time she returned to Konoha, he was still unused to the social patterns of Konoha's residents. This time he was speaking to her, just as he would anyone else. Then again, just a couple months for her had been years for Konoha, as was obvious from the things that had taken place. People didn't get married and that far pregnant in just two months.

"I have never actually spoken to you before. You have a calming voice." Hinata cringed as she watched him turn to look at her, his movements disconcertingly slow.

"Thank you." His acid green gaze bored into her own fluttering vision. She shifted her sight rapidly, unable to decide on what to focus on. Her eyes finally settling on his boot clad feet. His white pants wrinkled where they were stuffed into the leather. The sand trickled out of his gourd and circled her quickly.

"What are you doing?" Hinata gasped out. Her oxygen supply easily sucked up by the small cyclone his sand created. Her eyes wide, she brought her face up to look him straight on. Immediately after her lungs drew in air as the swirling mass ceased.

"I prefer that you look at me when you speak to me. It's only common courtesy." He grunted. Hinata relaxed slightly. She had been horrified by the prospect of almost certain death. "I know how you feel. Did you know that I was in love with Sakura at one point in time?" Hinata's eyes grew even wider, she wasn't even sure if that was possible, but she still felt the bulging strain.

"What?" She blurted out, before she could keep it in. She quickly slapped her hands over her mouth. He chuckled slightly before gaining a more sober appearance.

"She was the first person I spoke to after I mastered my abilities. I saw it as some sort of sign." He continued, his face still as serene as ever, his lips quirking up as he laughed at himself, almost berating himself for a wrongdoing. "I don't see how I could have ever even began to believe that. We're much too different. Besides, knowing her now, I wouldn't even think of it. Our meeting was short, and we separated as friends. But she was beautiful, and she understood. Her small show of friendly affection was magnified by the years of singular existence I had lived until then. It was a shallow love, but a love all the same." His eyes jumped away from her own before jumping back to her own. It's only common courtesy; the thought came unbidden into her mind. "It's not nearly as consequential because you fell in love with Naruto not only as friends, but as comrades, and finally as lovers."

"But we never did anything!" Hinata blurted out, slightly offended by the vulgar implications.

"Of course you didn't." Gaara's eyes narrowed. "It is immoral to perform any acts such as that before marriage here. Here, we use lover as a term for those we are in love with, not those with which we share…intimate moments." Hinata flushed, feeling properly chastised by her instantly negative thoughts. "Two years ago, Naruto had a meltdown." The news shook her.

"What do you mean?" Hinata hugged herself and frowned. It felt the slightest bit chillier now.

"When you left, Naruto moped for almost a year. Then he bounced back as happy as ever, we thought he had finally adjusted to your absence." He bowed to her slightly, acknowledging her importance to the blonde haired enthusiast. "Then, after about five months of Naruto normalcy, Sasuke came forward, declaring his spot as Orochimaru's champion. Orochimaru's proclamation of war came not long after. One day, Sasuke himself turned up and attacked Sakura. That incident presented Naruto with just what he needed. A purpose. After fending off Sasuke's sporadic attacks, he was truly back to his old self. That was when Sakura broke to him that since you hadn't returned to fend of Sasuke yet, then you would most likely never turn up again." Gaara looked away. "She tried to tell him as kindly as possible, but after a year of loneliness, then a year of faked happiness and war, he broke. He went on what could be considered a rampage. He tore through the forest and just about ran himself to death. After he returned, he did the only thing they saw appropriate at the time. He tried to move on."

"By jumping Sakura as soon as possible?" Hinata scowled, effectively cutting off Gaara's story. "Thanks for the history lesson, but I don't really want to hear about their most recent activities." Summoning up all her courage, she stalked away from the fearsome man she was tired of listening to. Her dramatic exit was foiled as Gaara's sand ensnared her in its grasp and returned its owner, holding her prisoner in front of the livid being.

"If it makes it any better, she jumped him first." Gaara murmured. His voice deathly quiet. "I had to watch as she tried her very best to divert his attention, and in doing so, she did the only thing she could. She got him to fall in love with her. She loves him you know. Just as much as you do." He let the sand slide off her, the rough grains rustling as they slid across the floor.

"You're wrong you know. She may love him, but not as much as I did."

This time, the Cheshire Cat did nothing to stop her from leaving as he merely started to fade away.

"I'm sorry Naruto. I tried." Gaara's voice was choked off as he disappeared in full.

"I know." Naruto stepped out and stood where Gaara had been moments before.

"Yo."

"Kakashi?"

"Yes Naruto." The man grinned from under his mask.

"You're late."

"I'm a rabbit. We're always late."

"For everything?" Naruto deadpanned, chuckling despite his aching heart.

"For everything."

* * *

Second bit of Impossible Things. Sorry about the little errors and awkward phrasing, I know I'm not a very good writer lol. Thanks for reading, I realized that reviews really are the lifeblood of writers on here. We're so pathetic. Anyway, thanks for putting up with my sporadic posting and lack of writing ability. I hope you can see where I put the connections between the Naruto characters and their fanciful counterparts.

Oombala


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Naruto, Adventure