Harry Potter The Life of Harry Potter with Nice Voldy

**AN: 'Tis is moi's first Fanfic so please enjoy! Review's are love!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter nor any of these characters (except for Helena) for I am not the great J.K. Rowling**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1<strong>

"Harry, wake up! Breakfast's ready!" Harry groaned and turned over as he heard the familiar sound of his mother's voice. "For the gazillionth time, Harry Potter, get down here NOW!" the voice came back again. Harry groaned and got up groggily and started walking in a zombie-like way to the bathroom. He turned on the tap and cleansed his face with icy cold water. He sighed as the icy water refreshed him on the burning hot summer's day.

He quickly brushed his teeth and changed his clothes before heading downstairs to eat his breakfast. He clambered downstairs, to the kitchen to see his parents sitting at the dining table. His dad was paying the newspaper owl and his mom was flicking through the paper, scanning it.

"Nothing interesting… Ministry's cooking up trouble again. Ooh, look! There's a new broom on sale. A Nimbus two thousand! We could get it for your birthday Harry!" Lily said, pointing to an advertisement in the paper. "Why's the Ministry always doing that?" Everyone jumped up at the voice. "Do you mind making more noise?" Harry said irritably to his sister Helena. "Harry, mind your manners will you, or your desert privilege will be taken off." His mother said sharply to him.

Helena just continued minding her own business and started picking her way through her breakfast. "Now Harry, sit down," Lily's voice sounding just like death. Muttering darkly, Harry collapsed onto his chair and glared darkly at Helena. Harry looked up to see Lily giving him the evil eye. He hastily picked up his fork and poked reluctantly at his bacon and scrambled eggs.

The family ate in silence for a few minutes with Lily shooting evil eyes at Harry and Harry passing them on to Helena. "Owl post's gonna arrive soon. For Harry, but not from any relatives," Helena added. At this, Harry stopped shooting evil glares but fixed his eyes at the open window where the owls always arrived. He poked his fork absentmindedly while staring at the blue sky. Finally, he managed to poke a piece of scrambled egg. He bent his head at an awkward angle and tried to propel his food into his mouth while keeping an eye (or both) on the window.

"Harry, eat properly and stop staring at the window. I know it's your first time getting a letter through owl post and it's not from any of your relatives wishing you happy birthday but for goodness sake, at least look at your food!" Lily snapped at Harry. "Sorry…" Harry muttered, staring down at his breakfast. Just then, an owl glided through the open window and landed right in front of Harry. It held out its leg and waited for Harry to remove the letter from its leg.

The owl was a barn owl with neatly groomed feathers. It looked really important and Harry could tell from the seal on the envelope that it was in fact important. Harry took the envelope from the owl and saw the seal carefully. It was from Hogwarts. He could not believe his eyes. He would finally be able to go to his dream school. The school Sirius, Remus and Peter were always talking about.

"From Hogwarts isn't it? I didn't look." Helena added just as Harry opened his mouth to send a retort back to Helena. "Ahhh… I still remember those days when I was in Hogwarts. Of course, there was where I met your father. Him and his gang, The Marauders. Always up to no good," Lily smiled and gazed at James. "Of course, we were the awesome ones there. The ones whom everyone is afraid of." James said, grinning madly. He stopped immediately when Lily shot him a murderous look.

"But still, we learnt things…there." James finished hesitantly and Lily smiled. Harry and Helena snickered as they exchanged looks. "Quit laughing you too." Lily snapped at the two of them, "Honey, you should get going now. We'll meet up with you at Diagon Alley around lunch time. We need to get Harry's supplies for his first year at Hogwarts. I'll go write a reply to the letter and we'll send it with Julian." Lily said as she got up.

A cat which was sleek and black with green eyes crawled into the kitchen. "Hi Peter!" Helena cooed as she scratched his neck. Peter purred in delight and closed his green eyes. "Hey Peter. Could you prepare his breakfast for him?" Lily asked Helena.

"Well, I better get going! See ya!" James said as he hugged Helena and ruffled Harry's hair. Harry watched as his father whizzed around the room, collecting his necessities for work. "Bye!" He shouted out one last time while waving before disappearing with a crack.

Harry sighed as he looked enviously at the spot James vanished. He wished he could do that, he wished he was in Hogwarts already. He was tired of being the one who knew the least in his family. Helena knew way more than he did and also had the gift of the sight.

He was mad at the world, he was mad at himself.

"I'm going upstairs to have a quick shower" said Lily. She always seemed to be fond of showers in the morning. "Helena, could you clear up? Harry, go get dressed properly. We're going to Diagon Alley for shopping. We need to get your books, robes, caldron, birthday gift and most importantly, your wand." Harry's head perked up when he heard the word 'wand'.

He could finally learn some magic and beat Helena at magic now! But he couldn't do any magic before he reached Hogwarts. Harry grinned like his father always did. He was going to Hogwarts in a couple of month's time! He could hardly wait.

He laughed at Helena, slaving away at the dishes, while he was free. He was also getting a Nimbus 2000! He laughed again and made a 'loser' sign behind Helena's back. "I saw that." Helena said offended. "Saw what?" Harry replied innocently.

"That 'loser' sign you showed at me when I had my back turned."

"Impossible. Your back was turned so how could you know?"

"I can see the future pea brain."

"So what you're gonna do? Tell mommy?" Harry sneered. "No, you'll see." Helena replied smugly. Harry stuck his nose and strutted out of the room in a very un-Harry like way (he always did it when he got angry at someone).

He walked down the hallway into the living room. "Hello Mr Bud. What 'cha doing today? Huh?" Harry said as he scratched Mr Bud's (the other family cat) chin. Harry always had a soft spot for him. "So what should I do now, huh Mr Bud?" Harry asked the cat as it purred contentedly.

Harry sighed as he picked up the cat and carried it to the couch. He sighed again as he sank back into the couch. He was turning eleven this year. He was going to Hogwarts this year. Helena would be going next year. Harry sighed yet again. Everything was happening so fast. In seven years time he would be graduating and he would then have to find a job. Everything wasn't happening so fast. It was happening _sosososos _fast.


End file.

Harry Potter, Humor, Parody