Harry Potter 1. Chapter 1a

Hello, this is just some info on the setting of my story. This story takes place in America in the wizarding world of J.K. Rowling, but will not feature any of her characters besides a brief mention. I do not own any of Rowling's characters, ideas, worlds, etc. The land feature's of the U.S. were not created by wizards dueling and I sincerely hope that no one will get on my case for saying so in my FICTIONAL story. Yeah, that's right, it's not REAL. Big shock there, eh? I do own the original plot and characters. Anyway tell me what you think of it so far. My first attempt at fanfiction, enjoy.

The Author

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The U.S. is home to two schools for witchcraft and wizardry, which later became a necessity because of the large population. One school was built in the Florida Everglades and the other in the Rocky Mountain Range in Wyoming. The schools were founded separately but simultaneously by the brothers John and Robert Smith. The twins were distinguished by their intense and often destructive rivalry, whose spirit was; unfortunately, taken up by the student body of their separate schools. Which brother came up with the idea to start a school first is unclear, or even if that was the case; rare occurrences of shared telepathy are known to happen in wizardly twins, either way both claim to have come up with the idea first and the matter was never investigated lest the investigator get caught in the crossfire. Most of the distinct land features in America, such as Crater Lake in Oregon and the Salt Lake of Utah along with the various deserts were created in the more –colorful– duels they fought; also, a number of the curses and counter-curses that exist today can be credited to the brothers. They were never penalized by authorities because their policy regarding the brothers was to sit back and hope they would kill each other off, and it was to their great consternation and disappointment that they ended every duel in a stalemate.

The brothers, oddly enough, opened officially on the same day with correlating names. The one founded by John Smith in the Rocky Mountains was dubbed the Borealis Institute for Magical Training and the one founded by Robert Smith in the Florida Everglades was dubbed the Australis Institute for Magical Training. Needless to say, that when they found out about the other's school they accused each other of spying, stealing, etc. and a duel was fought out, again ending in a stalemate. Probably the only good thing that came of this was the good education, good pay, and other benefits that resulted from their need to out do the other. The competitive spirit they infused in their students and staff inspired them to strive for the top; unlike their Muggle counterparts, and this tradition continues on today.

The brothers; it can be noted, moved in together as they got into their 60's, bickered constantly, and lived to the old age of 102, they died of natural causes apparently at the same time. While the brothers caused a considerable amount of trouble, headaches and disasters during their lifetime; a number of people were recorded later on to have said to miss them because of the excitement and entertainment that they unerringly created.

The schools themselves were set up in the exact same way, very large complexes; with more than four times the room than was need for the times and designed so that more rooms could be added on. The original student body structure was separated into two houses, an idea they borrowed from the renowned Hogwarts in Great Britain, but as the population grew it was separated into more houses until it reached the six different houses currently existing in both schools. The patron animals for the different houses of Borealis Institute are as follows: the Owl, the Wolf, the Fox, the Coyote, the Raccoon, and the Elk. The patron animals for the Australis Institute are as follows: the Turtle, the Panther, the Crocodile, the Opossum, the Dolphin, and the Manatee.

While both schools have wonderful defensive and anti-Muggle spells, some quite, _unique_, they were never as good as those at Hogwarts, indeed it was never considered to be that terribly important, issues of who should be taught and those who shouldn't were never much of a problem because the various cultures and social classes that had immigrated adopted much of the same views of their Muggle counterparts. So with the rise of the Dark Lord, panic struck the leaders of the schools. Conferring with each other and their respective staffs they enchanted further their schools to protect their students from attacks by Death Eaters. Fortunately, for families in the States, Death Eater attacks were never as common as they were in Europe. Though, when Voldemort did fall the U.S. celebrated just as much as the other countries around the world. Following Voldemort's fall the world relaxed and prospered until fourteen years later where whispers of his return unsettled the populace…

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Yep, this story starts during what would be book four of Rowling's series. The story takes place in/around the Borealis Institute. The main character will be a year older than Harry and his friends. There will be no interaction between them, and there will be no changing of the original story, no matter how much I want Sirius to still be alive. I'm going to try to accurately convey feelings, thoughts, opinions of people who only know The Boy Who Lived and the events surrounding him through the paper. Sorry to disappoint most of you who expected normal fanfiction, but I just don't feel comfortable with changing another's creation, I don't think I could do it well enough to make it believable. Anyway onward to chapter one!


	2. Chapter 1b

Disclaimer: You know the drill, I don't own anything by J.K. Rowling.

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It had been – a horrible accident. Everyone agreed that it was simply dreadful and unimaginable, couldn't have happened to a nicer person.

She just couldn't find it in herself to sorrow the loss.

She watched from her corner as the matron read a few of the younger children a story. She had been here a month, talking rarely but helping out when she was asked too. No one tried to get her to talk; at least not now, her behavior was, on all accounts, to be expected. Besides, those here had their own problems and did not want the grief of yet another to add to their own. Of course, they did share their problems; and some times quite freely, but she wasn't anywhere near their age and no one felt enough kinship with her to confide and be confided in.

After a while she sat up and left, the matron looked up briefly but continued to read. She headed towards the back door of the residence -which led to the garden, one of the few places she felt at ease in. She watched idly as a garden gnome poked it's ugly head out of a bush and began creeping towards the row of carrots nearest to it. It never made it that far. With an oath it dodged a deadly pounce from someone's calico and scurried back to the bush, the cat in hot pursuit. She sat reclining against an ancient Lilac, half dozing, thinking random frivolous thoughts –or- nothing at all. The weather was beautiful, white puffy clouds making an appearance once in a while, and a light breeze to make the hot day comfortable. _I think I could stay like this forever. No one to bother me, no one-._ She cut the train of thought quickly, glaring at the heart shaped leaves over head. _Only my memories will bother me now._ She thought grimly.

She was saved from brooding too long by the sight of one of the small children crying beneath one of the large trees surrounding the premises. Curious, she got up to see what the matter was. The little girl choked down a sob upon seeing her and after a moment of being looked at she pointed up. She followed the child's pointing finger to a branch ten feet off the ground, a black cat paced anxiously along it. If she were allowed to use magic outside of school she would have levitated the cat down, but in this case she would have to use more mundane means. Deciding on a course of action she began to walk towards the shed, pausing to look over her shoulder until the little girl followed her.

The shed was full of useful items, from tools to work with in the garden to cast off cages left from previous occupants of the estate. After a moments hesitation she picked up a long piece of rope and an old cat carrier appearing to be in fair condition compared to others that were rotting apart. Walking back to the tree she picked up a square shaped rock nearly the size of her fist and continued on. Setting the carrier down she tied the rock to one end of the rope securely and after hefting it for a moment threw it up at the branch. The little girl gave a cry, thinking that she was aiming for the cat. The rock sailed over the branch; to the left of the cat, and fell back to earth, now it was draped over the branch. She moved the rope up so that the rock would drop down then grabbed it when it was within reach. Untying the rock from the rope first she then made a noose like knot and tightened it so that it strangled the branch. After tying the handle of the carrier to the end of the rope she jerked it a couple times before climbing up.

When she pulled herself up she noticed with a trace of humor that the cat did not looked too pleased with all of the movement she had made when climbing up. Smiling faintly she drew the carrier up and opened the door then began coaxing the cat inside. Unfortunately the cat did not want to be rescued, at least not in this fashion. A few scratches later she grabbed the miserable black by it's scruff and shoved it unceremoniously into the carrier and shut the door with a snap. She lowered it slowly to the ground where the little girl waited anxiously to snatch the carrier out of the air to release her abused cat. With her cat safely on the ground with all four paws the little girl looked up at her and smiled.

"I'm Lina, thank you for saving Goblin for me, Topaz."

She smiled down at her and answered, "You're Welcome."

Lina beamed up at her and then turned on her heel and ran off in a flapping of robes to the front of the building; Goblin a step behind her. Topaz watched them run off and stayed up in the tree a while longer, her Muggle clad legs straddling the branch. One of her quirks was her fondness for Muggle clothing; it was much easier to go tramping about in the wild in a pair of pants than in a robe. Her mother had been Muggle born and the one to introduce Topaz to Muggle fashion. Her father hadn't approved…

"_Are you going somewhere?"_

_"No, what gave you that idea?"_

_"Topaz is dressed like a Muggle, why?"_

_"Oh, that? She just likes them better than her robes."_

_"No child of mine is going to look like a damn Muggle, make her change them, now."_

_"Roger-,"_

_"No! Change her now, stupid bitch. And get me some more Fire-whiskey."_

_"Alright. Alright, I'm going."_

Dinners there were pleasant enough, the younger children chattering to themselves or to the Matron about what they did that day, what there were going to do and so on and so forth. The Matron was a wonderful listener, smiling and laughing and asking questions at all the right times. Topaz didn't speak at meals, eating her food quietly and then leaving for her room when she was done. This bothered no one, she was a presence at the table to be ignored unless one needed the salt or pepper and the wordless compliance troubled no one. Catching the Matron's eye she picked up her dishes and excused herself, dropping the dishes off in a basin in the kitchen before heading up the stairs to her room.

Thankfully she had her own room; the younger children had to share. She plopped down on the bed and picked up a book from the small table beside it. A book she borrowed from the library, it followed the misadventures of a Muggle named Marvin. She loved to read, at first it was an escape but now it was more of a warm, cozy feeling when she picked up a book and lost herself in it. She sat there engrossed in the novel for hours before she turned her head to look at the clock, which showed the time to be well after nine o' clock. With a sigh she marked her place and put away the book and went over to a small writing desk strewn with parchment and a text book. Sitting at the desk she worked steadily on her summer homework for more than an hour before retiring. She was almost done with all of it; the summer vacation would be ending in little more than a month.

Towards the end of August the Matron, the gardener, and the resident nurse/psychiatrist all became very, very agitated. It was because of the recent events that happened at the Quidditch World Cup. After the game a group of wizards wearing masks, supposedly Death Eaters, started to terrorize the Muggle family and anyone who interfered. The Dark Mark later showed up above the tops of a nearby stand of trees, which caused the masked wizards to flee the area immediately. Several people had died in the small forest. Had the Dark Lord returned? It was painfully obvious that the adults were worried sick; the younger children, which is to say all of them, knew nothing. She only knew because she had accidentally run into them talking about it. They had given her the newspaper, The Continental Press, telling her to keep it from the others. They were too young to trouble about something that _could_ be a fluke. In later articles, there were no culprits caught yet. It seemed the Brit's were doing close to nothing to catch them. Their ministry and the papers assured everyone that it had nothing to do with Voldemort, only a couple disgruntled Death Eaters causing a ruckus on their own. Whatever the case, it boded dark things to come. At least that's what the gardener kept muttering, but to Topaz it didn't warrant that sort of fear.

She packed away the last of her books and robes in her trunk, tomorrow she would be leaving for Borealis Institute. Pulling on her pajama bottoms and lying down a thought occurred to her: it would be odd not going home during Christmas and Easter vacation…

_He stumbled in through the front door reeking of alcohol. He muttered oaths and threats and complaints under his breath and he tottered towards the bathroom. Her mother picked her up and carried her up to her room, telling her to be good and quiet. They both froze as his voice rose to a roar, "I'll kill you, you cheating whore! I'll rip your fucking heart out!"_

_They heard him quiet down, but still audible as a low grumble. A sudden crash and then everything was quiet. They both strained to hear more, but nothing. Her mother let out a sigh of relief. Her mother looked into her wide, scared eyes and smiled sadly. She brought her to her lap and held her close, murmuring in her ear, "It's alright, he doesn't mean it, he's just drunk, dear-heart. It's alright, it's okay."_

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So that was officially chapter one! Kinda short I know, but I thought it was a good place to stop, leave you hanging you know. (If anyone is reading this…) So, what are your guesses about the story so far? Opinions? Criticisms? Comments? Review please! Until next update, Aufwiedersehen!

The Illustrious Author,

Apara


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing of J.K's, but I own my own creations. (At least one would think so, yes?) On a side note I was looking in the dictionary for a different way to spell mundane (like mundanus, you know, so I could use it as an illness but anywho) when I came across the word Mungo, yes mungo is in the dictionary. The definition is this: reclaimed wool of poor quality and short staple. Hmmmmm, interesting ain't it? But what's more interesting is this: I also looked up shoddy in the dictionary to find some ideas for a part in the story, guess what it's first definition was? Shoddy: a. A wool of better quality and longer staple than mungo reclaimed from materials that are not felted. I kid you not! The Dictionary I used was "Webster's New Collegiate Dictionary" copyright 1979. Makes you wonder what J.K. was thinking when she named the hospital, eh?

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"_Mama, I want to go shopping. Can we go, pretty please? I want a new dress for Ms. Rabbit!"_

"_Not now, we have to wait until your father comes home to ask him."_

"_But he won't be back until Friday! That's like a whole _week_!"_

"_I'm sorry, Honey, that's just the way it is."_

"_Why do you have to _ask_ for permission? You're a grown up too!"_

"_He doesn't like it when I go out without his knowing where. He- he worries for me…."_

"_Oh. How come?"_

"_Just because. Let's see how the Dragonhead flowers are doing, alright?_

"_Yeah! I bet they bloomed and are breathing fire and- "_

Topaz, Stifled a yawn as she waited alone with her trunk in front of the complex waiting for the Borealis school bus to pick her up. It was 7 O' clock in the morning and already she was chafing to be out her school robes. She felt that she was always going to trip in them. Velora had bid her goodbye already and was back inside preparing for the day ahead, the younger children still had a week left of their vacation before they began their school in the elementary, they would not be going to the boarding school until they were eleven.

The gates to the complex opened suddenly revealing the magicked yellow school bus that would be taking her to the Borealis Institute. The bus driver's aide jumped off the bus and hurried forward to help her store her trunk in the side compartment with everyone else's. As she entered the bus she looked for her friends but they had to been picked up yet; the few others on the bus would not meet her gaze as she looked at them. She choose a seat in the middle of the bus, well away from the others, and began reading her book; it looked to be a long ride ahead.

When Amanda entered the bus Topaz sat up and smiled at her but Amanda avoided her gaze and moved past her. Her rejection stung and Topaz had to take a couple deep breaths to keep from crying. She smoothed her face to blankness and mentally shrugged it off before returning to her book. She had learned a long time ago not to care too deeply and to get over things quickly, deep pain was something she did not like to deal with. When her other friends came on she did not look at them; they all moved past her to the back with Amanda. Times like these she was thankful that there were books; they were her shield against the world, they were her mask – a cover; she did not have to talk to anyone when she read, she did not have to look so pathetic when she sat by herself- she did not have to listen to what they whispered when she read.

When the bus finally arrived at the school everyone stepped off to find friends from other buses or to talk about the summer's events to other groups. Professor Greenthumb, Head of the Elk House, ordered everyone to the Dining hall for the Welcoming Feasting and the Separating. The hall was huge affair with room for six large student tables and the staff table; a banner of the patron animal hung above each student table. The stone pillars lining the hall were carved with intricate picture depicting the stories of famous wizards like Merlin and Morgan Le Fey. As the pillars got taller they began to look less like stone and more like tree bark so that when they reached the ceiling they covered it with huge tree branches. With the illusion of sunlight filtering through the leaves it created a peaceful dappled look on the residents below.

Topaz looked around the hall suddenly feeling more at peace than she had in a long time, there may be lots of homework, cranky, unfair teachers, and now the prospect of being friendless, but it was a haven- a home or sorts. She settled down at The Wolf House table feeling better than she had in a long time.

After everyone had sat down at their respective house tables the Headmistress waved everyone to silence and a moment later the new students walked in preceded by Professor Greenthumb. To say they were nervous would be an understatement. They looked nervously around the room as they stood between the staff and student tables before an almost empty door frame. You could see through it but it was as if you were looking through a soap bubble, a sheen of shifting colors filled the space. The tradition was this: The new students would walk through the doorway and after they were through the colors would move together to form an image of one of the patron animals of the school, and that would be the House they belonged to during their time at the school. It was said that Robert Smith, the founder of the Borealis Institute, was inspired to Separate students in this way by a similar method that was used in Britain's Hogwarts.

She remembered going through that same doorway four years ago; it had felt as if she had walked through warm, welcoming comfort- sunshine, springs, and old, shady forests. After she had walked through all the anxiety she had felt disappeared and after The Wolf had formed she had walked to The Wolf House table with a bounce in her step.

There were well over five hundred first year clustered by the House door, all of them looking intimidated by the size of the hall and the number of people in it. She watched with interest and amusement along with everyone else in the hall and the first student walked through the door. It was really quite something to see dread and fear washed away like that in just a few steps. The girl, Amy Apitz, became an elk and the boy after her, Brendan Arkens, became a Raccoon. It continued like that for nearly an hour until the last student, Brian Zimmermann, was Separated into his House. Then everyone looked toward the Staff table where the Headmistress, Marian Quinton, stood up to give her welcoming speech.

"I Welcome back our former students from your summer vacation! For those new students joining us for the first time I am Headmistress Quinton, and I welcome you to the finest school in the Americas. I'm sure you would rather go straight to the feast rather than listen to me talk," the students chuckled as she said this, "But, we need to go over some basic rules for our new students and for the other students who have chosen to forget them. There will be no cursing of students outside of the classroom, no animals are to brought inside the complex that are not familiars or do not have the permission of the Gamekeeper, students are forbidden to live the area unsupervised by a Professor. No products of Zonko's are allowed on the premises. The Basement is, as usual, off limits; those who ignore this rule will face detention at best, expulsion at the worst. Now that that's out of the way, enjoy!"

As soon as the last word left her mouth the tables were filled with stone and wooden dining ware filled with delicious food. The new students ooed and ahhed while the older students made sounds of appreciation and dug in. The lack of friends beside her marred the feast only a little, with this much good food in front of you it was hard to stay depressed. After everyone had had their fill the prefects from each House led their classmates to their dorms and told them the password that would allow them to enter their common room. The Wolf House's common room entrance was between two relief's of oak trees whose upper limbs were intertwined; the password was "Forest".

Topaz trudged up the stair to the Fifth year girl's dormitory while the others stayed in the common room for further talk and gossip. She sat heavily on the green canopied bed with her trunk at the end before reaching over to pull out a book. It was too early to go to bed and since her friends had abandoned her she had no one to talk too…

"_Mom? Mom! Are you alright? What's wrong?"_

"_I'm sick, I don't think –" cough cough_

"_Oh, My God. Mom, what is it? What are you coughing up!"_

"_Topaz- " cough "Topaz, I have the Magus Dreynan, I don't think I'll –" cough cough cough_

"_What are you taking about! We have to take you to St. Shoddy's!"_

_cough "Can't. David refused to let me go, he's gone, no one to take-" cough hack_

" _That was a week ago, Mom! He'd let you go now! He didn't know how bad it was! I can take you, we-we could send an owl! Mom we– " _

"_Topaz! I'm dying, no wizard in the world can help me now." cough "Just- Just stay here with me, please?" cough "My little girl." cough cough "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" cough cough hack cough_

" _For what? You didn't do anything."_

"_I-I know. I was too weak. I should have gotten you, us, away from him a long time ago. Now I'm going to leave you with him alone. I'm so sorry, forgive me, forgive me, forgive me!"_

"_Mom, I – It's alright, I forgive you, I'll –I'll get away as soon as I can! He doesn't treat me like he does you. I'll be fine mom, I forgive you."_

_cough "Thank you" cough cough "…………."_

"_Mom….? Mom! Don't go! Please don't go! I love you, Mom. Don't go, don't go! Please.. please don't go."_

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So ends Ch. 2. Tell me what you think! I need reviews! I couldn't help calling the hospital that! And I couldn't help putting the 'Magicked yellow school buts' in either!. my horrible sense of humor there. Quick Explanation, Magus Dreynan. I looked up 'drain' in the dictionary and where they give you the latin or greek or whatever that is is where I found 'dreynan'. In this case Magus Dreynan is a deadly magical disease (the Wizarding Cancer if you will) It can be cured if caught early on. Obviously in this case it wasn't…… I know I'm a horrible person and if any of my characters were in the real world I'm sure that would torture me slowly and most painfully!………. Anyway Review, PLEASE!

Apara


	4. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own J.K.'s stuff blah blah blah etc etc. so on and so forth. I own the original characters and whatnot. I also own a cool pair of boots! And a lot of books and a couple stuffed animals and…..

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"…_Shit."_

_She hadn't noticed it until she had jumped down from the tree. A shaggy dog - (Huskie? Malamute? Wolf?) Standing stiff legged only a couple of feet from her tree._

"_H-hey there, nice doggie, nice- "It's growl cut her off and she backed into the trunk of the tree behind her. Hopping to distract it she dug into her satchel and threw the first thing she had, her sandwich, at it. As it caught her offering she scrambled up the tree as quickly as she could, expecting razor sharp teeth at every moment. When she looked down from her perch she saw it sitting docilely at the base of her tree. As she sat looking down at it, it suddenly whined and gave a slight wave of it's tail. Curious she pulled out her other sandwich and tore off a chunk and dropped it. It caught the sandwich and practically swallowed it whole. Hesitantly she climbed down from the tree, her eyes never leaving the animal and when she landed she gently tossed another chunk of her sandwich to it. After it had eaten she held out her hand with the remaining sandwich bit in it, it approached her slowly and took the sandwich warily. She kept her hand where it was so the animal could smell it._

"_You're a Wolf, aren't you?" In lieu of an answer it butted her hand gently. When she went home, it followed._

"…. Mixing in the eye of Newt at the end. Any questions? Alright, at the end of the lesson you will bottle a sample of your potion and leave it on my desk. You may start." Professor Fenny gave a sweeping gesture before she sat down behind her desk to work on correcting essays. She was a tall, elegant witch with silky black hair and crimson robes. She had started working at Borealis two years ago and was in her late twenties. The old Potions professor, Professor Jennings, had retired after being the target of botched potion and the cauldron it turned into a cannon ball. Professor Fenny was enthusiastic for her subject and after her first day of teaching so was half the class, the male half. It was a wonder you could walk around the classroom without slipping, they certainly drooled enough for it. There were quite a few girls who resented the Potion's Professor's good looks, but not Topaz. She was nice and she taught her subject well and that's all that really mattered.

The first week of classes had been review and the second week would be the same, it wasn't until the third that they would start learning new things. Right now they were brewing a potion they had learned last year; the chameleon potion. She enjoyed potions; it always gave her a sense of accomplishment when she made a perfect potion. Potions was a fascinating class, the things you could do! It was one of the fields of work she was interested in; the other was magical creatures.

The cauldron of the boy next to her began to give off an acrid odour and he was trying desperately to fix it before Professor Fenny noticed. Casting a look back through the corner of her eye, Topaz saw the boy sitting behind Jared Thompson; Harper Young, was grinning and shoving something in his pocket. Before long Fenny noticed the smell and came over, much to the chagrin of Jared, to see what was the matter.

"Hmmm, the colour and smell suggest Sun Vine, completely ruined the potion. That'll cost points I'm afraid. I'm surprised at you, Jared; you pay more attention than that!" Professor Fenny admonished as she cleared the contents of his cauldron with a flick of her wand. Jared said nothing but looked horrible, his face beet red. Her looks might have inspired effort to do well but it also inspired sabotage. The class continued without further incident and everyone bottled acceptable looking samples of their potions to be graded. As they were leaving Jared was hassled for his potion screw up, whistling and jeering they meandered slowly towards the dining hall for lunch.

Walking more slowly it wasn't long till she was alone in the hallway. Lunch was a lonely affair, no one sat near her; no one would talk to her. It did nothing to improve her appetite to say the least. She ate quickly and left, heading outside to sit until her next period. It was a warm day and the clouds were few and far between and she wasn't the only one enjoying the weather, clusters of students were sitting beneath the shade of the school's apple trees talking, doing homework or other things. Those who were doing other things choose the places where you couldn't be seen easily, if at all. The Quidditch pitch was empty at this time so she went there to stay out of the public eye. She worked on her homework trying to get as much of it done now so she wouldn't have to find another abandoned niche in which to do it in. Voices carried up to her and she looked down to see a group of girls trying to console Jared on his potion fiasco.

"-Not you're fault Jared! I'm surprised something awful didn't happen to you sooner, you know, sitting next to the Grim and all."

"You think I should ask Fenny if she'll move me?"

"Of course!"

"Definitely!"

"Tell her you can't see or something, otherwise she'll be a bitch and keep you by the Grim."

"So true! I mean did you notice how –"

Their voices faded as they continued across the field to the other side where the Magical Beasts class was keeping a unicorn Professor Menagerie had caught. She felt tears prick behind her eyes and the venomous claws of anger digging into her stomach. She was so frustrated; she just wanted to scream at times! How could they be so superstitious? Sure both of her parents had died but that didn't mean she was cursed! She felt more lucky than not, but would they understand that? But no, her parents had died within a year of each other and she was either doomed to the same fate or would cause others to die if they got to close. What better name to call one such as her than, the Grim?

She was too angry to concentrate on her work so she sat there trying not to cry and trying to make it not important until she could bury herself in her next class.

"_This place is such a fucking mess! Do you like living like a pig? I'm the only one who does a God Damned thing around here, you lazy little shit! If I didn't do anything you'd be eating of shit covered plates! I should beat you, maybe then you'd get off you're fat ass and do something!"_

_"… I'm sorry."_

_"You're so fucking worthless, just like you're damned mother! Get out of my sight, you little bitch!"_

"_fine."_

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**Mike Skoaly:** You, Sir, are my first reviewer. I'd give you a gold star or a medal or something if I could. When I got the email notifying me that my story had been reviewed I nearly died of shock, especially since it was the one with nothing to do with relevant characters. My reactions were torn between 1.) gushing how much I love you and how grateful I am that you reviewed (a rather nice to too to boot!) and 2.) telling you that if you think that this story is decent then you need help and I'd hate to see what you think crappy stories are like. Putting that aside, Thank you for your review! Btw How on Earth did you ever find this?

**Nibbles the Chicken:** You, Sir (Madam?), are my second reviewer. Only 10 days from my first review did I get yours. One review? A fluke, unlikely to ever happen again. A second? I believe I caught a glimpse of a purple pig with fuchsia wings flying over the drab landscape that day. Thank you for reviewing! I can't begin to express my pleasure/shock. I would like to pose the same question to you that I posed to Mike Skoaly, How on Earth did you ever find this?

Man I hope you're still going to read this, I didn't mean to scare you away! I don't think this chapter turned out well, (I don't think any of it turned out well to be honest) so I apologize, if you see something I screwed up, tell me. Thanks again for reviewing!

Apara


	5. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I own nothing of J

Disclaimer: I own nothing of J.K. Rowling's. I do own my characters and plot and schools, etc.

You know, I've always felt that being able to buy your familiar at a store is a bit like cheating.… ANYWHO, Onward and Forward and whatnot.

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"_You know, my Topaz is such a bright Witch, she's a real wiz at potion making and a regular little scholar! I'm sure she'll be creating new potions when she's older! –"_

_She felt a mix of pleased embarrassment and unease at her mother's praise of her. She didn't know why so she smiled politely and left, looking for a place that wasn't crowded with relatives. She didn't have any cousins or siblings close to her age and they didn't have any neighbors, so she was alone a lot. She didn't like being surrounded by so many people, it made her feel awkward, like she didn't know how to talk to people properly. She hadn't had much practice. Lately her mother had been growing more distant, moody and less inclined to do anything. She seemed so happy right now, maybe this party was what she needed and things could go back to normal..._

"Topaz, I'd like you to stay after class today for a quick word, alright?" Professor Menagerie asked her quietly, looking….. Sad? Serious? Trying to look reassuring?

"Of course, yeah" She answered while nodding her head. He smiled sadly at her and moved away and she went over the days events in her head, looking for something she had done. Was she in trouble? She hadn't done anything! Unless… Unless this was about her parents dying; and they wanted her to _talk about it._

She had been called to the Headmistress' office on her second day back at the institute, her head of house, Prof. Menagerie, had been there also. They were all really nice but she didn't _want_ to talk about it. She didn't want to think about it, she just wanted to move on, but they kept trying to get her to 'open up'. At first it had been subtle, giving her tea and cookies and asking her how her summer was, if she had had any problems with her summer work? etc. Then they had started asking her how she felt and did she want to talk about what happened? They told her it would help to talk about it; she'd feel much better when she did. She finally told them she didn't want to talk about it now; they were very understanding, telling her that she could talk to any of them when she was ready. So she had left and not thought about it since. But it seemed that they thought she should be ready to talk about it by now.

Would they understand that part of her didn't care that her parents had died? Would they understand that another part of her was actually glad that they had died, both of them? Would they understand the anger and bitterness she felt toward them? Would they understand that she didn't feel ashamed about feeling that way, only ashamed about not feeling ashamed? Would that make sense to anyone else? She was alone in the world, truly alone, and she could only feel relief.

"Alright class, gather round, today we will be studying some of the serpentine creatures that inhabit the world, for example the Cerastes." Professor Menagerie waved a hand at an aquarium holding a fairly large tan snake, with what appeared to be horns sprouting from its head directly behind its eyes. "What do you know about it?"

Topaz would have raised her hand but she didn't want to bring further attention to herself so she kept her peace. Kendra Smith, from the Fox House, raised her hand immediately and she answered promptly. "The Cerastes is a snake that can detect poisons in foods or beverages and its heart is used in potions that ward against the effects of dark magic artifacts."

"Very good, Ms. Smith. Five points to Fox House. The Cerastes can be found in Egypt and attracts birds by burying itself in the sand and waving its horns. In the past it was quite fashionable among the aristocracy to keep one to test everything they ingested. But not all serpents are as useful or as friendly as the Cerastes, the Jaculus for example. What can you tell me about the Jaculus…. Mr. Porter?"

Devin Porter twitched at being called on and looked faintly uncomfortable as he answered, "The Jaculus lives in, uh, Italy mainly but some have been found in Greece, I think. They're pretty big, got wings and two legs. They attack people by diving out of trees and going for the neck, right?"

"Correct Mr. Porter, another five points to Fox House. For the rest of the lesson we shall have an in-depth study on the Agathodemon," he brought out a beautiful wire cage and curled at the bottom of it was a small, pastel pink snake with little golden bird wings sprouting from its back. It lifted its head and stared at the class with bright blue eyes. "This species is an elusive and rare one. It's under the protection of nearly all of the Ministries, though there are those who ignore that and poach these animals anyway. It is illegal to keep them in captivity, much to the chagrin of Potion Masters worldwide. The feathers from the Agathodemon are an essential ingredient in the Felix Felicis, the renowned good luck potion, thus the reason they are poached. They are very fond of wine and their diet consists of small insects. Their habitat ranges all over Europe; making them hard to locate, though they do have preferences in vegetation, land formation, bodies of water, etc. Can anyone tell me what those are?"

The lesson continued along this vein for a while and towards the end of the lesson they were allowed to hold the Agathodemon under the Professor's watchful eye. It was odd to find out that its scales felt like fine silk. After the Agathodemon was put back in its cage, Professor Menagerie gave them their assignment. "Next week I expect five feet of parchment on benign and malignant serpents, similarities and differences and strategies you can use to determine if a serpent is malignant or benign in the wild. Class dismissed."

Her classmates grumbled about the homework as they packed away their books and filed out of the classroom. Topaz toyed wistfully with the idea of joining them as she put her own books away, dread sinking into the pit of her stomach and condensing there like a stone. Instead of leaving she sat and watched Professor Menagerie as he put away the snakes. He was a fairly attractive man in his early thirties, tall with broad shoulders and all of him well muscled. He had shoulder length, wavy, brown hair that he kept tied back in a loose ponytail. His eyes were a dark brown but his most distinctive feature was the jagged scar that ran down the left side of his face, from forehead to cheek. Whatever had happened had missed his eye, but it must have been a near thing. There were all sorts of rumors as to what had happened. The obvious ones were that he had gotten it from some fearsome creature and then the wilder ones, duels, horrific accidents, a drunken bar fight, a jilted lover, etc. She didn't know if anyone had ever gotten up the nerve to ask, or if they would. He was an amicable man, more often than not smiling or laughing and he seemed fairly easy going but he could be deadly serious and scary. Apparently a few years ago one of the 6th year students had been screwing around and had somehow got a Griffin off of its chain. The Griffin had immediately attacked the students and only Professor Menagerie's quick reflexes had made sure it didn't kill anyone. After the Griffin was taken care of he had gone after the student responsible and his wrath had been something to see. Everyone said that Professor Menagerie's temper had been, by far, more terrifying than the attacking Griffin ever could have been.

Her thoughts were interrupted as her Professor walked forward and took a seat across from her. "It must be tough for you, losing your parents the way you did and now coming back here and finding everyone has developed an acute sense of superstition and melodrama." He grimaced as he said it, his hand sweeping back along his head to dig into the hair above his ponytail. For some reason this made her warm to him, maybe it was the honesty he seemed to radiate or maybe it was that she finally didn't seem to be the only one frustrated by what was happening to her.

She felt like she should say something to reassure him that she wasn't unduly stressed by yet another crisis being dumped on her, "I'm sure it'll blow over eventually, it might take a while, but I can wait for things to get better."

He gave a short nod, "Aye, true enough, but it still must be hell to go through."

Topaz felt amusement quirk the corner of her mouth upward as she replied, "I thought teachers were above swearing."

A small, rumbling chuckle escaped him, " No, but we'd like everyone to think so anyway, makes life easier if no one can call you out for hypocrisy."

That startled a genuine laugh from her and she hadn't laughed since- well, it had been a long time. His eyes crinkled as he smiled at her but then his face changed to serious and she felt her good humor fall away from her as quickly as it had come.

"Topaz, we need to talk. We're all worried about you, and I want you to know, that no matter what your classmates are saying, it wasn't your fault. Your parents dying had nothing to do with you or anything you did or didn't do. It was just chance, bad luck, you understand?"

She sat frozen for moment shocked. _They thought I felt responsible?_ She blurted the first thing that came to her, "Of course it's not my fault." She stopped talking almost immediately and looked away but not before catching Menagerie's look of relief.

"What's wrong? Why haven't you talked to anyone?"

"I just, I need some distance, some time. It's too close still, too painful." She was looking at a spot on the floor so she didn't see his face but she heard him sigh.

"Alright, but you will have to talk about it at some point. It doesn't matter to who, just that you do, ok?"

She looked up and met his gaze and nodded, satisfied that she understood he asked her about another painful topic.

He asked carefully as if unsure of the veracity of what he was saying or making sure not to offend, "I understand that you have a number of relatives but that none of them were able to take you in."

"Unable? More like they wouldn't, didn't want to catch my bad luck." She spat, surprised by how much bitterness had crept into her voice.

"What makes you think that?"

"I don't think, I know. I know most of my relatives financial situations, plus I overheard some of them at the funeral talking about how they wouldn't have a Grim in their households." There it was again, the dark bitterness flavoring her words.

Her professor looked at a loss for words, "Oh." Was all he said for a while before he tried again, "Oh, Topaz, you shouldn't have to go through that on top of everything else –"

"It's alright; I think it might have worked out better this way anyway." When he looked disbelieving she elaborated, "At the orphanage they leave me alone, they don't act like I'm some curse, they are essentially in the same boat I'm in. If I had gone to one of my relatives they wouldn't know what to do with me, I'd be an unwelcome intruder in their lives."

"Topaz, you're too young for what you're going through."

"There's no such thing as being too young. Look, Professor, can I go? I'm fine and I'm late for Charms."

"Alright, just one more thing, Topaz. I shouldn't be telling you this but, the Headmistress warned me that if you don't start talking about it soon, she's going to schedule weekly meetings for you with our resident med-witch."

"What!? Why? I haven't done anything!" the last came out close to a wail.

"I know, shh, I know. It's nothing you've done, Headmistress Quinton wants to make sure that you're- coping."

She was too upset to notice where he hesitated, "I don't need therapy! I don't want some stranger poking around in my head! I just want to be left alone!" she was ashamed to feel tears welling in her eyes and she wiped them away angrily.

"Hey, I understand, more than you think; and I think I have a solution for this."

She looked up hopefully at this, holding her breath.

"You can come by my office after classes, once or twice a week, you don't have to say anything, you can do your homework or read while I grade papers. The Headmistress will see that and be satisfied that you're making progress and she won't interfere. It may not be ideal but, it's the best I can do."

She frowned, arms folded, and thought it over. This kind of felt like a trick to get her to 'come out of her shell' and her frown deepened. She gave him a quick once over and dismissed the idea; it wouldn't be his style. Professor Menagerie was a fairly straight forward kind of man, not the type of person who would con someone into getting what he wanted. She gave a sharp nod and said, "Alright, I'll give it a go. Does this," she made a vague circular motion including herself and Menagerie, "count for the week?"

The corner of his mouth kicked up as he gave her a wry smile, "Yes. Professor McAlister is aware that you may be late so you don't have to worry about getting into trouble on that score. I'll expect you next week sometime."

She nodded, relieved to finally escape the uncomfortable conversation and quickly left to head to the charms classroom.

Professor Menagerie watched Topaz until she was out of sight than he let his body slump with a sigh, reaching a hand up to cover his eyes. He stayed like that for a short time before getting up to feed the creatures for his 6th year students. The Tripoderoo saw the (dead) rat in his hand and tried to shoot a wet ball of clay at it but succeeded only in hitting the glass of its cage. As he dropped the rat behind the odd looking creature and cleaned the clod off the glass he wondered idly if he could somehow tie the creature with the third years studies to discourage a pair of flighty, giggly girls who were convinced that magical creatures should only be cute and cuddly. Maybe something dirty and smelly and ugly to enlighten them that if they continued with his class they would be facing this for a long time…

"You look deep in thought, Thom, you're behaving yourself I hope."

Startled Menagerie turned around and looked into the slyly smiling face of Nadia Fenny, her long black hair in a braid and a particularly ugly and worn dragon hide apron over her crimson, oriental styled robes; a sure sign that she had been working on a potion. "Always, Nadia, Don't I always?" he answered her with a smile of his own, his wolf smile she called it.

She laughed walking into his arms and he kissed her deeply, when they pulled apart she sighed contentedly and rested her head against his shoulder. He held her closer and rested his head on hers, wishing they could be more open about their relationship, wishing Quinton wasn't such a control-freak about everything, especially her staff. He felt his jaw clenching at the thought of her and her 'edicts' and forced himself to loosen up.

Nadia shifted slightly and quietly asked, "How'd it go?"

He sighed, "It… It could have gone better," he admitted reluctantly.

She looked up eyes full of sympathy, "These sorts of things never go the way we want them to, all you can do is be grateful that it's not worse. What happened?"

"I've established that she doesn't blame herself for her parents dying, despite what everyone is telling her; she seemed offended that I even asked, truth be told." He smiled ruefully at the memory. "I think any pressure to get her to talk is just going to make her withdraw more into herself and damage her, talking won't do her any good unless she _wants_ to talk. Quinton doesn't care though; she sees a problem, not a hurt girl, and wants it cleaned up as quickly as possible. Topaz is bitter and I can't really blame her. It seems she overheard her relatives arguing about taking her in because she's a 'grim'. Being treated like an unwanted leper by your own family isn't something you can forget," he added softly, "or forgive."

"Oh, Thom," she put her hand to his scarred cheek. He closed his eyes, luxuriating in the comfort she brought him, knowing that she knew that this brought up painful memories of his own past that he'd rather just leave behind.

"I've set up a loose weekly appointment where she comes to my office to read or do her homework so Quinton will leave well enough alone. I won't let that woman force her agenda on a defenseless child."

"It'll get better, things will be better." Her face was solemn as she looked up into his.

"Someday, right?" he sighed feeling cynical and world-weary.

"Of course, have I ever been wrong?" She was smiling now, looking smug.

He was smiling too now, "Should I answer that truthfully or should I be tactful?"

She laughed and thumped him in the chest with the back of her fist and challenged him, "If you can come up with one example where I was wrong I'd like to hear it!"

"Well, there was that time when you-" Nadia moved closer, pressing herself against his body as she cut him off with a kiss, when she finally pulled away he looked pleasantly bemused.

"What was it you were saying?" She looked up at him innocently enough though the smile she wore threatened to turn smug.

"I can't seem to remember, couldn't have been important. I'm sure we could find something else to talk about." His voice turned husky as he bent his head to hers.

"I'm sure we can"

She wasn't; as she had told Professor Menagerie, late for charms, though it had been a close thing. Professor McAlister, who taught Charms, was an elderly woman who had long white hair with a single black stripe starting from her right temple and a hoarse croak of a voice. When she entered the class McAlister gave her a smile that she must have imagined to look kindly and sympathetic; Topaz saw it for what it really was: pity. Her fellow classmates gave her quick looks before going back to what they were doing; none of them even attempted a smile. She felt a wash of anger at both the professor and her classmates, she didn't want pity and she didn't want to be treated like harbinger of doom. She felt a strong urge to do something rash and horribly violent; instead she nodded at Professor McAlister and took her seat at the back.

Charms proved to be fairly boring and Topaz found her thoughts straying towards the current state of her life. An orphan, a pariah and now a charity case, could her life get any worse? She felt a sudden and painful longing for her familiar, Corvin, but what with him being a wolf he wasn't allowed on school grounds. He wasn't allowed at the orphanage either, so the last time she had seen him was the day her father had gone and blown himself up. It was the one regret she had about her father dying, that it caused her to lose her familiar. He had been a real source comfort to her when she had been confused and angry about her parent's actions and their complete indifference regarding her. Sometimes she would spend days at a time out in the woods, just the two of them, so she could escape the yelling or the overwhelming depression that would settle over the house like a fog. She hoped that he was alright, though a part of her knew that it was stupid to worry since he had been looking out for himself long before he had found her in the woods that day.

She wondered how long this "Grim" thing was going to last, and if it would follow her outside Borealis. She didn't think so, at the orphanage they didn't treat her as if she were a plague carrier, though it might be a bit like the pot calling the kettle black if they did. Maybe using the orphanage wasn't really a practical gauge after-all. Well, it wouldn't matter if she lived among the Muggles, they weren't as superstitious, not to mention they would know nothing of her past anyway. She was startled out of her thoughts when McAlister announced that they would be practicing the Silencing charm in pairs. Topaz felt the bottom of her stomach drop, what a perfect moment to illustrate how reviled she was. She watched dully as her classmates rushed urgently to quickly find partners so they wouldn't be forced to be hers. They needn't have bothered, there were an odd number of students in this class so no one would have to worry about coming up with plausible excuses for McAlister.

The professor spoke across the chattering students, "Alright, anyone without a partner?" as if she needed to ask, "Topaz?" was there any doubt it would be her? "Well, don't fret dear, I'll be your partner as soon as I've got these birds and crickets sorted out." She watched as McAlister deposited a cricket and a blue jay in front of each pair, clearly they were supposed to practice the spell on one then switch to the other. McAlister corrected her until she had if perfectly then she wandered around the class monitoring and fixing techniques. Topaz sighed and halfheartedly practiced; hoping perversely that the jay would eat the cricket. It didn't. Good for the cricket.

_Her mother sat in the dining room with a deck of cards, listlessly playing solitaire in the increasingly dimming light. "Mom?"_

_"Hm."_

_"…It's six O' clock."_

_"……"_

_"Are you going to make supper?_

_"After I win this game."_

_She came back an hour later to find her mother still playing cards, she hadn't turned on any lights. "Mom, were you still going to make supper?"_

_"You know I work so damn hard around her and I never get any help! I'm not your slave! I'm not your servant! I just want some goddamned time to myself! You're old enough to be taking care of yourself!"_

_"I'm sorry, Mom, I didn't mean it like-"_

_"Don't interrupt me! I can't keep up with you and your father, you both leave everything lying all over and you never help out! I can't do this by myself! That's why this place is such a mess! I can't make anything if I don't have any clean dishes!"_

_"I'm sorry." She quickly left before her mother could continue, and if given the opportunity she would complain for an hour or more. She grabbed an apple and made herself a couple of sandwiches and went outside. Her mother's mood was oppressive and seemed to engulf the entire house. _

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Collar Poppin Ninja: Thank you for your lovely comment! Don't worry, I won't tell anyone your secret! ;) Your comment has encouraged me to continue! YAY!

Nibbles the Chicken: I'm sorry for the lapse between chapters and I hope you are still reading this! I've tried to make this chapter longer, satisfactorily so?

Whew, it's been a while since I worked on this. For the record, I'd like to make sure that everyone realizes that Topaz won't fall in love with any of her teachers, they won't fall in love with her, she won't even be crushing on any of her teachers. First off they (the teachers) would all be way too old (robbing the cradle anyone? Pedophiles?), and I find that stories involving such student/teacher pairs really annoy me. So there! I hate to sound like I'm fishing but I really hope this story doesn't turn out like crap. I had to make quite a few changes to the general direction of it so it wouldn't turn out to be some horrible Mary Sue, but even now…… I would also like to add that while typing/writing this I made a discovery about some of the characters!

Apara


	6. Chapter 6

} Insert appropriate disclaimer here and some charming and witty remark if your imagination would be so obliging! {

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_"He's drinking again, Corvin. God, why does he have to? Aren't things hard enough already?" Topaz sat with her back to a tree, hugging her knees and feeling a mixture of anger and hopelessness. Her familiar lay beside her, head on his paws, though as she spoke he lifted his head to look at her. Corvin was a black wolf and a big one; his eyes were odd though, one blue and one brown, perhaps pointing at a domesticated dog in his parentage? _

_"I wish- I wish things were better, I wish things were different. Someday I'll leave this all behind, we'll live somewhere-"She was cut off abruptly by a deafening boom, she felt the ground beneath her shudder and she turned towards the source of the noise. Topaz thought she saw something burning, and then gasped as she realized what direction it had come from. She sprang to her feet and sprinted towards her house praying she was wrong._

_She skidded to a stop in the yard as she stood frozen by horror watching her house engulfed in flames. The flames were red, pure red with no hint of any other color, a sure sign that they were magical. Where was her father? He wasn't in the house, was he? She had to stop the fire! She brought out her wand and shouted "Finite Incantum!" It did nothing to the blaze except to make a flare of light burst painfully from her wand, forcing her to drop it. She cried out and gripped her wrist as if to stop the pain emanating from her palm from going farther. A loud series of cracks of a couple of people apparating had her head whipping to the left. One of the wizards looked like a clerk or a lawyer; his two companions looked like law enforcers, aurors. _

_The clerk looked very surprised by what he saw and turned to the auror on his left and said, "Beatrice pop back and bring the ERT and some healers, I fear we've misread the situation." The blond witch nodded and disappeared with a loud crack and Topaz stumbled up to the wizards, gripping her wrist._

_"Please! You have to put out the fire, I think my Dad's still in there!"_

_The clerk clutched his chest as he jumped back from her, "Lord! You scared me! Where did you come from?"_

_"The woods, please, my dad's still in there! You have to help him!"_

_"I'm sorry child there's nothing we can do until the Emergency Response Team gets here, the way this is going, you may have to prepare for the worst."_

_"NO! You can help him! Just put the fire out! Please! Put it out! Oh, God, why won't you help him?!"_

"Did you hear? The Old Worlders brought back the Triwizard tournament!" The tables this morning were all abuzz with the latest news printed in the Continental Press. Topaz eavesdropped on a group of Seventh years sitting a few chairs down from her as they gossiped about it.

"No! Are you serious? Why now?" The blond, blue eyed girl who said this seemed to have perfected the art of looking and sounding scandalized. It would make her the perfect confidant of secrets and gossip in general. Who better to tell your juicy secrets to than an active audience?

"It's a gimmick! A diversion! They're only having the tournament because they want people to forget how they screwed up this summer at the Quidditch world cup!" A girl with sable hair cut short and chic and a decidedly cynical outlook was leaning towards her friends and speaking heatedly in a low tone.

"Oh, come on! That's total B.S.! Do you know how long it would take to reinstate something like that? They probably had meetings and God knows what else for over a year, maybe even a couple of years, before they came to a decision. Bureaucratic red tape and all that shit. It's just coincidence that it came after that attack." This came from the good looking redheaded boy sitting next the blond girl. He was one of the beaters and the captain of House Wolf's Quidditch team. And if she wasn't mistaken he was going out with the blond.

After that things got more heated; the arguments flying back and forth, Topaz had finished eating and left soon after so she didn't hear the end of the argument. It was the weekend so there were no classes she had to go to, nothing really that she had to do. As soon as classes started again she would have to stop by Menagerie's office for the first of their 'talks' or 'meetings' or whatever the teachers would call them. She really hoped that it would just be her doing homework, not a subtle way to get her to 'open up'. But at any rate that wasn't happening right now and she needed to find something to do today. She was bored out of her mind, she could work on the small amount of homework she did have, but that was the last thing she wanted to do. She was sick of the glares, the scrambling to get away from her, the mutters, or just being ignored. She was sick of walls, of feeling trapped. Students weren't allowed off school grounds except on holidays or special circumstances. There were fey things in the woods surrounding Borealis, a lot of them dangerous. _If I get eaten at least there isn't anyone to kick up a fuss over me, _she thought with dark humor and went to her dorm to put on some muggle clothes under her robes.

It had been simpler leaving the complex than she thought it would be: Just grabbing a school broom from the Quidditch shed by the pitch, walking to the unicorn pen and flying high enough to pass over the school's perimeter wall without going above the tops of the trees growing in and around the unicorn pen. When she landed on the other side she debated with herself on what to do with the broom, take it with? Or leave it by the wall? It could be a quick escape if some dark creature tried to go after her, then again carrying it might hinder her spell casting and if the broom got damaged how could she fix it? Because if a damaged broom was put back in the shed, or to go missing completely, they would put a stricter watch on the brooms and she would have to find some other way to leave; if she were to be so inclined in the future. She ended up shoving it into the lower branches of a young black walnut with her robes and then used a fallen nut to scrawl a dark wavy line on the white wall to show the spot she had passed over. Now she could explore, no one would miss her until supper; she rarely stayed in the great hall for lunch, so if any teachers were trying to keep tabs on her they wouldn't worry if they didn't see her at lunch time.

This was the first time she had ever been in these woods, and she had to admit they were fairly impressive. The trees were pretty young close to the wall but farther away they got older, much older. She decided to head out in a straight line and mark the trees with magic X's so she wouldn't lose her way, she was disquieted to find that instead of the X's she had gotten before when she used the spell, she now got a starburst pattern that was eerily familiar to the scar on her right palm. For the first time she worried about the exact nature of her scar and what other effects it might have on her magic. She hadn't had any problems with her magic before this, was it a sudden onset, or a gradual buildup? Would it get worse? Or was this like a cold or flu? Something that she would get over? She flexed her right hand and looked at the scar, still an angry red, though after the healer had fixed it, it should have turned silvery white by now. She let out a short sound of humor, _Maybe there is something to that Grim rumor that I'll die within a year of my parents after all._ She shook her head with a crooked half smile and let it go from her mind.

This forest was vastly different than the one she had grown up in. The trees were centuries older for one thing, it would take three or four people to ring a trunk of one of the smaller trees here. It was darker too, the leaves blocked the sun more effectively and as a consequence there was hardly any ground cover. It was easier to walk through than a younger forest would have been and that let her take in the ancient, timeless beauty. You could step back in time a hundred years and this forest would look much the same as it did now.

It wasn't creepy, or foreboding or unwelcoming in any way; something you might expect from an old forest. They usually tended to give you the feeling of hostility towards human intruders upon their demesnes. This forest was tranquil, a place of reflection and a sanctuary from the worlds woes. Topaz took a deep breath or the air and let it out slowly, feeling herself relax fully like she hadn't been able to in longer than she remembered. God, she could stay here forever, abandon the world, and all its sorrows. What need had she for her fellow Man? For society? Betrayed by her own family, outcaste and reviled; it would be so easy to leave it all behind and run. She was tired; a bone deep weariness that pulled at her spirit and no amount of sleep could cure. She was tired of being treated like a leper, she was tired of people, and she just wanted to go _home._

With a sudden, sobbing gasp she sank to her knees and started crying; body wracking sobs. She cried without inhibition, not needing to hide her pain from anyone out here. She hadn't been able to cry like this since her father died, and she cried so hard she had trouble breathing. She wanted to go _home_, and the worst part was she hadn't ever found it. She shifted and sat on her bottom so she could hug her knees as she cried and began to rock slightly. She wanted to go to a place that was hers, a place that was cozy and comforting and made just for her. A place with nothing but good memories, a place that would be safe, a place that she could find true happiness in. She hadn't had that when her parents had been alive, and even then she longed for _home._ Sure, she had called where she lived home, but that was for lack of another word. There were times where she had been deep in the woods by her parent's house crying like this and wishing over and over that she could go home. _Home_ was always somewhere else, a someday, a hope for the future, a goal to look for. It wasn't _fair!_ What had she done to deserve this? What had she possibly done to get so royally screwed over for? Her whole life was just one sorrow after the other, splashed liberally with rage and pain and despair. Where was the justice in that? Where was the justice in any of it? She wanted to stop hurting, to stop hurting all the time.

She mostly stopped thinking after awhile; overwhelmed with her grief, fighting for breath around her sobs. Sometimes choking on her grief and sometimes hyperventilating; it took her over an hour to wind down and completely expel her feelings. When she was done she felt oddly empty and distant. She wasn't sure what to do with herself, she settled for letting go of her knees and sitting Indian style for a while but, her body still felt awkward. She sat gazing at the scenery without actually seeing it for a while, then she coughed into her fist and got up and dusted herself off. There was no one around to have seen her lapse but she still felt vaguely embarrassed by the show of emotion. She was so used to having a tight reign on them that letting go seemed like revealing a weakness. It probably said a lot about her, and likely what it said wasn't particularly healthy. She gave a mental shrug and continued on into the forest; it wasn't like she was completely dysfunctional, just partly.

The woods weren't entirely empty as they initially appeared to be. She saw a bowtruckle looking suspiciously at her as she passed by, a lone pixie that nervously flitted away after spotting her and even a flash of silver ahead of her a ways that she thought might be a unicorn. Despite the shade of the huge trees and the colorful leaves littering the ground announcing that Fall was present there were a number of wildflowers growing in the forest, most of which she had never seen before in her life. She spent a great deal of time crouching down and examining them and occasionally giving a cautious prod with her wand to check for reactions. (One flower twisted in on itself and curled down to the ground and another grew deadly red one inch long thorns that dripped noxious green fluid lethargically.) Seeing these flowers she could understand her mother's desire to have a flower garden; even though she only took care of it sporadically. To have a garden full of breathtakingly beautiful and violently defensive flowers would be wonderful. Something about those seemingly delicate flowers defending themselves with such extreme prejudice appealed to her deeply. She promised herself that when she got back to the school she would go to the library as soon as she could and look up the flowers she had seen out her.

She had spent more time than she realized aggravating the flowers and the light had begun to lessen. She checked her watch; found that it was 4:17 p.m. and frowned. She wasn't sure how far she come with her slow meandering but knew that it would take her considerably less time returning than it had taken leaving. She just didn't know if that would still give her enough time to get back in time to clean up make it to dinner on time. Thinking about dinner mad her realize just how hungry she was, she hadn't eaten since breakfast which was hours ago. _Next time I'll bring food, and my notebook and pencils. Maybe a blanket and a book too._

She turned back the way she came and set off at a brisk pace, tapping the starbursts on the trees as she passed and making them disappear. She had traveled further than she had anticipated; it took her nearly an hour to make it back to the wall and her things. She was exhausted, hungry, thirsty, sweaty and a bit dirty. She dusted the dirt from her knees and gave herself a thorough once over, checking for any detritus that may have attached itself. Satisfied she grabbed her robes, shook them out and put them on and tugged the school's broom down. Now came the tricky and nerve-wracking part; she hopped on the broom and lined herself up with the walnut stain and started to slowly rise upwards. When she got high enough to peek over the wall she kept the broom hovering at that height so she could make sure that there was no one hanging anywhere near the unicorn pen. _Wouldn't it just be my luck to get some morons using this place to get busy in? Or worse yet, a teacher inspecting the grounds._ She didn't have to worry though, the place was deserted and with the extra shade from the dying light she made it over the wall and touched down unseen. A quick jog over to the broom shed proved uneventful and she had about an hour before dinner started; plenty of time to wash up.

There was, she reflected, one unforeseen and welcome upside to this whole 'Grim' business. She no longer had to share the showers with anyone else and consequently she always got the best stall. The shower stalls were all the same cramped size except for the last one farthest from the door. It was roomy, had more shelf space, was protected from the draft that came in whenever the door was opened and had no squeaky, loose or hard-to-turn knobs, no sputtering or weak spray and no uneven tiles to stub an unwary toe on. There was something decidedly unsettling about being in a room; in nothing more than a towel, with wet floors and so many hard surfaces combined with the presence of a well-known powerful, walking, talking harbinger of death. Who wouldn't retreat from that prospect?

When Topaz walked into the shower room a sixth year named Wendy was just about to enter the back stall when she caught sight of Topaz. She obviously changed her mind about the shower and backed out and left, avoiding her eyes and swinging as far around her as she could. Amusingly enough this had changed the whole morning ritual of the Wolf House's female residents. Some of the girls got up a lot earlier than Topaz to use the shower but most of them simply took them at night now. If she were a meaner spirit she would change her showering patterns randomly just to watch them jump and retreat and possibly make them run late.

She took her time in the shower, luxuriating in the hot water. She exited in a scented cloud of steam and made her way back to her room to get dressed. The room was devoid of her year mates which suited her just fine. She put on her robes and started drying her hair at a leisurely pace and generally lazed about feeling oddly rejuvenated and happy. By the time she had to go down her hair was only slightly damp.

When she entered the dining hall she headed straight for her table and passed the teacher's on her way, in her peripheral vision she caught Professor Menagerie's relaxing from the watchful tenseness that he had when she entered. Not seeing her at lunch must have caused him some concern; was this focus on her whereabouts new because of the talk they had had? Or had it always been there and she had just failed to notice? She kind of thought it might be the former but she couldn't be sure. Oddly enough this didn't diminish her good mood at all, just made her more thoughtful. She might have to restrict her excursions to the weekends and most likely only one of those days would she be able to spend the whole day outside. She'd probably have to switch it around a bit too, if she was always missing lunch and out of sight on a particular day, like every Saturday for instance, it would look odd.

She was already looking forward to the next weekend and next time she'd know what kind of flowers she had seen and what they did. She would spend tomorrow researching that and finishing her homework. She wondered if it might be possible to bring one of those flowers back and keep it in a pot on her bureau. Definitely not the one with the thorny response to getting poked, she was already suspected of being a herald of death, no need to make it a reality by bringing a potentially dangerous plant inside to be a hidden land mine, so to speak, for the nosey individual who likes to dig around in other peoples stuff. While it would certainly be a justified punishment and memorable lesson about poking your nose where it doesn't belong, it would probably bring more trouble on Topaz's head than on the would-be offender's.

With these thoughts occupying her she ate voraciously, doing her best to make up for the meal she had missed earlier. Thus she missed the disapproving gaze of the Headmistress whenever she looked at Topaz and the no-man's-land surrounding her and the way Menagerie and Fenny sent each other worried glances behind the glowering back of Quinton. Blissfully unaware that the Headmistress thought that the main reason Topaz was so isolated was that is was her own doing. That Topaz was viewed as an annoying anomaly that was being coddled through her fit of rebellious self-pity and who needed a sharp wake-up call to end this 'nonsense'. Headmistress Quinton wasn't a woman who gladly suffered anything to upset the world order she had set up the Borealis Institute.

_She woke up slowly, not sure where she was. It came to her gradually at first and then it hit her with the force of a battering ram. Her father was dead; he had blown himself up. The wizards that had come to put out the fire had taken her to St. Shoddy's where the Med-Witch had declared her hysterical and then promptly doused her with a tranquilizer of some sort that had knocked her out alarmingly fast. She looked around the room and saw that the door was partially opened and that there were a couple men murmuring outside of the door of her room._

"… _girl's mother?"_

"_She died about a year ago, advanced form of Magnus Dreynus."_

_The first man swore under his breath and continued, "Have you tracked down any other relatives she has?_

"_We're working on that now, Sir, got a hold of Mister Harding's older brother and while he couldn't take the kid in he did give us a list of family and we're…"_

_She tuned the conversation out after that, feeling sick. She was an orphan now; the thought hit her with a jolt. She wouldn't be going home anytime soon, she'd have to live with one of her relatives now. She didn't know how that worked, did they just foist her off on the first relative they could find or did they let her decide who she'd rather stay with? _

_As she contemplated her various Aunts and Uncles she decided she'd rather not live with her Dad's side of the family if she could help it; they were hardcore religious and too puffed up with being pureblooded. She didn't really have much in common with them either, and living with them would undoubtedly prove awkward and stressful. Her Mother's side though had better options; except for one uncle she liked all of them. As she thought about it she decided that if it was possible she'd like to stay with her Uncle Mike. He was a lot more relaxed than her other uncles, loved the outdoors and wildlife, and wasn't prone to long winded monologues or arguing. She wasn't too sure about his girlfriend; she was too… loud, abrasive, vain. Her daughter though, was a year younger than Topaz and they got along great, cousins in spirit if not in truth. Maybe, maybe there was a bright spot in all this. Things could be better for her, in the midst of this disaster she could end up with a normal family._

_She curled up on her side and looked at the scar on her right hand, flexing it slowly and feeling a dull throb radiating from the center of her palm. She wondered how different her life would be now, wondered what it would be like to live with her Uncle, and wondered uneasily about what spell had created that red fire and what had gone so wrong that it had devoured both father and home alike._

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Kinetic Kat: Thank you so much for your review! I have a beautiful writing style? I think I love you for that! Lol!  I can't tell you how happy it made me to open my email and find your wonderful review there!

Sorry about the sporadic nature of the updates! I will try harder but I make no promises! I do notice that whenever I get a review it pushes me to work on the story, a little encouragement goes a long way! *HINT*HINT* Writing chapters longer than 1000 words is kinda tough but something that I am working on! This story is going to help me be an author…maybe? God, I hope so anyway. I'll try to update my homepage every once in a while between posts (leaving a 'date of most recent edit' stamp on it, maybe?) so you'll know I'm not dead, or giving up or something, sound good? Yes? Alrighty then.

~Apara


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Harry Potter, Angst