Sons of Anarchy Beam Me Up

_**Inspired by the pink song Beam Me Up, It just felt to me like such a Gemma and Clay song, and in the S6 finale when Unser was comforting her I just felt like in her face you could see who she really needed. Just a random one shot I thought of, I hope you like it, please read and review xo**_

_**Disclaimer: I own nothing **_

_There's a whole 'nother conversation going on In a parallel universe. Where nothing breaks and nothing hurts. There's a waltz playin' frozen in time Blades of grass on tiny bare feet I look at you and you're lookin' at me._

Look at me, you've only been in the ground a day and I'm already going mad..trying to talk to the dead, how pathetic right? I feel like kicking myself...laying here wearing your favourite tshirt, the same one that I've been tryin to get you to throw out for years because it's got so many damn holes it annoys the crap out of me...but it's the only one that still smells like you..old spice mixed with that musky cigar smell that was so unique to you..I fucked up Clay, I've screwed everything up and I don't know what to do..it's never been this bad before ..I need your help

_ Could you beam me up, Give me a minute, I don't know what I'd say in it I'd probably just stare, happy just to be there, holding your face Beam me up, Let me be lighter, I'm tired of being a fighter, I think a minute's enough, Just beam me up._

I feel so stupid curled up in our bed holding on to your pillow..but I need to feel you close right now, I've done so many bad things and you know about almost everyone...but you never stopped loving me..you were always there..even when we had our problems, even when I was sure you'd kill me, even when you were bouncing my face off the floor...I knew you still loved me..and now it feels like you're all I've got left..and you're gone..but it doesn't feel that way, not really

_ Saw a blackbird soarin' in the sky, Barely a breath I caught one last sight Tell me that was you sayin' goodbye, There are times I feel the shiver and cold, It only happens when I'm on my own, That's how you tell me I'm not alone_

I should've been there yesterday, I should've been there for you the way you were for me but..I couldn't..I couldn't bring myself to go and watch them put you in the ground...I've been trying for so long now to tell myself that I hate you and put everything else I felt in a little box and push it into the back of my mind..but trying to remove you from my heart..it hurts. It hurts too much to even think about...every time I see your picture on the wall I feel my eyes fill with tears, usually I can stop them them from fallin, tell myself to get over it..I can't wear my ring anymore.. Even just having it around my neck leaves me sobbing. I try and try to remember you as the cruel sadistic bastard that left me bleeding on the kitchen floor...but the way you looked at me before..you're eyes..you weren't him, you were the man I fell in love with, the one that brought me back to life

_ In my head I see your baby blues I hear your voice and I, I break in two and now there's One of me, with you_

I can feel you here with me, now that I'm on my own, I close my eyes and it feels like you're laying by my side..I have to stop myself from reaching out for you. The one man in my life I'd always felt I could trust with everything, even before we got started together, when you were just my husbands best friend..my best friend..there's no one in the world that could ever know me like you do. Unser was there for me yesterday after all the shit that happened, taking care of me like always..but it wasn't the same, it was you that I needed there baby. It's your arms I want wrapped around me when the whole world turns to shit...Nero..he was a good guy, I love him, trust him..but its not like it was with you..nothing ever will be..I know that

_ So when I need you can I send you a sign I'll burn a candle and turn off the lights I'll pick a star and watch you shine_

I'd give anything to be with you right now...everything is about to crumble into dust..Jax..Jax is gonna know and then my only reasons for living will be taken away from me once more..I've got no fight left Clay, I'm getting old and I'm so goddamn tired..I don't think I can do this on my own baby. The club isn't what it's used to be, everything I've grown to know and love is falling apart and I have no choice but to stand here alone and watch it fall and it's all my fault. I kill everything and everyone I love...everything I touch gets destroyed and know even the one person that wiped away the tears when my destruction got too much is gone..because of me. I miss you, I miss you more than I should, more than I ever thought I could..my black heart hurts with every breath I take without you and I wish even if only for a minute I could feel your hands on my skin or see that smile that made me weak in the knees even when I hated you, or look into those baby blue eyes that somehow expressed more than words would ever allow

_Just beam me up, Give me a minute, I don't know what I'd say in it I'd probably just stare, happy just to be there, holding your face Beam me up, Let me be lighter, I'm tired of being a fighter, I think, a minute's enough, Beam me up Beam me up Beam me up Could you beam me up._


End file.

Sons of Anarchy, Hurt-Comfort