Dragon Ball Z Shopping

This is just another side story I wrote for Malkavian Saiyan.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything

Voices: makes no difference because none of Miari's voice are in this one to harass him.

Shopping

Bulma had a ruff week and needed to blow off some steam. Workers were yelling at her every which way to help with problems, Vegeta was demanded she fix that damned GR….AGAIN….Chibi Trunks was always demanding of attention, and she felt so distant to Mirai it almost felt like the two were strangers, not to mention the arrival of the new King Vegeta who seemed to be even more of a royal pain in her ass then Vegeta was. She was very possessive and protective of Chibi because he was only a few weeks old but she didn't worry to much about Mirai because the gothic fighter seemed to take care of himself for the most part. When he really needed the company he would train with his father, fight with the King, discuss simple things with his grandmother, think up ridiculous theories with his grandfather who fell in love with the boys wild imagination, or come down to the lab to keep her and baby Trunks company. She learned quiet a few thing she wanted from Trunks she was not going to get. For one thing he had neither passion to invent or become president of Capsule Corp. nor any talent in technology but she was ok with it, simply because her nephew was talented to take over as president (haha wow I'm really twisting this story up aren't I).

She wanted to get closer to him and maybe her new little family. She wanted to get to know her father in law a little better and get Vegeta more involved in his son's life socially instead of violently. Suddenly it hit her, THE MALL!! What better place to get the four better acquainted or reacquainted then the mall? She popped out of her lab and went upstairs and put on a red shirt, blue jeans, and black platform shoes. She went into the living room to see Mirai in his black baggy pants, black shirt with a pair of red eyes and green fangs on it and a pair of black shoes. She looked into the kitchen and saw her mother bouncing about and the two saiyans sitting expectantly at the table.

She stalked over to her mother and whispered "Mom, could you watch baby Trunks so I can get these guys out and about today with me at the mall?" Bunny looked extremely excited and began to cheer a little loudly.

"OF COURSE I WILL WATCH THE LITTLE ANGEL FOR YOU BULMA!" Bulma inched out of the kitchen in fear of her mothers extreme happiness and turned to King and Prince. She smiled at them mischievously and whispered her plans in Vegeta's ear.

"ABSOLUTLY NOT WOMAN, I WILL NOT SUBJECT MYSELF, MY FATHER, OR MY SON TO YOUR REDICULOUS HUMAN WAYS WE ARE NOT GOING TO THE MALL!" King Vegeta looked both confused and fascinated at the same time. Mirai had popped his head in with the same look of wonder on his face. _Where and who is someone getting mauled?_ Bulma smiled at there looks and considered this as Vegeta being outnumbered.

…………………………………………………………………………………..

Mirai and King Vegeta were very annoyed at the horrible trick that had obviously been played on them. Mirai was the first to question dreading the answer. "Um," Bulma turned around, "I thought we were going to see someone get mauled not go to some place with a bunch of stores in it." Bulma laughed. She patted him on the shoulder and gave him a reassuring smile.

"You will enjoy yourself, I promise, now King, I can't promise you anything unless you like to hang out and buy stuff." King Vegeta looked even more confused, what was she talking about now? Prince was on the verge of laughing. They went inside and decided to split in groups of two. Sense neither Vegeta's could be left alone together without killing each other Bulma took King Vegeta and Prince Vegeta took Mirai. They agreed to meet back at the front in two hours for lunch. Bulma stalked off with a confused King at her heals looking around at the beauty, the wonderment, the hell that would be his afternoon. Prince and Mirai stood and watched them go.

"Any idea where anything is?" asked Vegeta who had never gone shopping. Mirai only shrugged, he had never even heard of a mall before. The newness of it was a little much to take in so the two walked around until they came by a store that Mirai could not take his eyes off of. He walked in with his father at his heals and ran around picking up random pieces of clothing and running into the dressing room. Vegeta could tell this was going to be the longest two hours of his life. The boy was just as bad as his mother! He came out of the dressing room with a pinstripe hat, lacy skirt, and a black tank top and tight black hoodi. Vegeta could have died of embarrisment as his SON stood in the middle of the store with WOMENS cloths on, but for some reason, no one seemed to really care much. A camera was shoved into his hand by the cross dressed gypsy and he asked Vegeta to take a picture. He almost died again when he was in a particularly provocative pose. He took the picture and told the boy to get out of the skirt or he would be super pissed. Mirai only giggled went back into the dressing room to try something else on.

………………………………………………………………………………………

King Vegeta stood next to Bulma and was rather annoyed at her. How could anyone want to try on this many pairs of shoes? She had a look of heaven when they walked into the store. She ran threw like a tornado on speed and shoes flew EVERYWHERE! He was even knocked in the head a few times by a pair or two as she threw them into his arms. He had only seen her where three pairs of shoes before, what did she need all of them for? When he asked she had a look like the anti-Christ had just walked into the store. "WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT DO I NEED THEM FOR?! Hello, my shoe collection! What, you don't think I actually WHERE any of these shoes do you? No way you are out of your mind! What would I were then with?" Vegeta had no idea what to say. He really didn't understand this at all.

………………………………………………………………………………..

Vegeta and Mirai both left the store with sixty bags that Vegeta had a hold of even though he owned nothing in the stack. Mirai had led him to a sport store so they could have a look around. Neither of them played sports nor did they ever want to but they were board. They separated and looked around. Vegeta found a video on a screen that showed a woman dressed up like she was in a bad 80's exercise video with a bunch of over weight women about her. Then to his horror it struck him that not only was this a bad 80's exercise video, it was a Richard Simmons video. He looked around in a panic of what to do when he found a metal bat. He swung the bat at the TV and hit it dead on in the middle where Simmons's face had been. He smiled in his victory and gave his infamous evil laugh "Take that you evil son of a bitch. No longer shall I endure your flaming idiocy and no longer will anyone else have to either. The world is now at WHAT THE FUCK!!!?" Vegeta noticed the real Richard Simmons in the corner of the room sighing his taps for desperate woman who looked a little prettier then the ones on the video. He walked over in anger at the real Simmons and brought his bat up.

Next thing he knew he was standing over Simmons's body with the bloody bat in hand laughing like a maniac while others screamed and ran in fear. "What the hell are you all upset about? I just saved you sorry bastards from the evil this faggot was spreading through those evil videos of sickening exercise programs that don't really work!" Mirai, on the other hand, was watching this in a corner with popcorn from the food court at hand laughing at the sight. He suddenly saw the most horrific sight he had ever seen. A fat old man came waltzing in with no shirt and a pair of sweat shorts on. He went over to look at the balls in front of Mirai and pushed him to the side and noticed the golf balls on the last shelf. He bent down and to Mirai's horror the mans shorts came down a little and scared the poor teen for life. He screamed in horror and shut his eyes and randomly blasted key blasts everywhere till he felt the fat old mans ki disappear. He smiled in satisfaction at the fact that he, to, had saved the world from the horrid abomination that proved God had a sense of humor and he and his father left the store.

……………………………………………………………………………

King Vegeta and Bulma made there way to the food court where they thought they saw Mirai but shook it off. King Vegeta went to every stand and demanded everything on the menus. Bulma and her handy dandy Gold Card, That's a card of a different color, for Captial One pay as you go plan payed for all the food and told them to deliver it. She told them it was best to keep the food coming because he was a very demanding man who would get angry if anything was thrown off track. As the food kept coming, the face kept stuffing. The gross greasy food was shoved into his mouth until he suddenly had a look of pure horror on his face.

He stopped eating and set a Big Mac down at the realization of something truly wicked….HE GAINED 20 POUNDS AND A POSSIBLE CHANCE OF A HEART ATTACK! "Woman," he said to his daughter in law, "we are in danger here. They are trying to kill us!" Bulma looked doubtful at him but hid under the table at a very accurate prediction of what was next to come. King Vegeta stood in a rage and began to blast people away, "TRY TO KILL ME HUH? MAKE ME GET ALL THIS FOOD AND HOPE I GET E. COLI?" Shops were blasted and food places destroyed. People where fired and managers killed. Bulma looked at her watch in annoyance, it was time to go. She picked up a cup from the ground and filled it with soda careful not to get in the way of the Kings rampage. She walked up to him from behind and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around in anger and she tossed the drink in his face.

"GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF MAN, YOUR LOSING IT OVER A RECYCLED COW, HEART ATTACK IN A CUP, WITH A SIDE OF E. COLI BOILED IN GOD KNOWS WHAT!! YOU ACT LIKE YOU NEVER PUT YOUR LIFE ON THE LINE AND TOOK A CHANCE AT FAST FOOD YOU LOSER!!" King Vegeta didn't know what to say. He had lost it for some reason but he had never taken a chance at fast food before. Be it brains or cowardice, he didn't know but it was time to go and it was best if they did.

…………………………………………………………………………………….

They all met up at the front and shared there day on the way there. Mirai had cracked up at King Vegeta's story. "Wow that brings back a very entertaining memory of before you died dad!" Everyoen looked at him curiously as he fazed into the flashback of when he and his friend Anna were children of 6.

"Okay," said flashback Vegeta, "Order something and quick." Both 6 year old looked at the menus but couldn't decided.

Mirai: Is there cow in that burger?

Cashier: I think so, it's hard to say.

Anna: What was chicken made from before if it wasn't white meat?

Cashier: I think it was recycled

Mirai and Anna: EWWW

Vegeta: taps his foot impatiently

Mirai: Um can I order a fish sandwich without the fish?

Anna: No that's stupid!

Mirai: well then can I have a chocolate shake with soda in it?

Casheir: I'm sorry were are not allowed to do that

Anna: can you put fries in the shake?

Cashier: No sorry

Mirai: well then why would I want anything on your icky menu if you can't give me what I want?

Anna: IT'S A CONSPIRACY! jumps up on counter and faces the crowed I'M TELLING YOU IT'S A CONSPRIACY! THE GOVERNMENT OWNS MCDONALDS AND WANTS TO FATTEN US UP SO WE CAN BE FED TO THE COWS AND CHICKENS ALL TASTY LOOKING WITH FRIES AND A SHAKE! THE BURGERS AND NUGGETS ARE FAKE I TELL YOU FAKE FAKE FAKE!!!

Vegeta: Pulls 6 year old girl off the counter ORDER AND ORDER NOW BRATS OR WE LEAVE THIS DISCUSTING ESTABLISHMENT!!

Mirai: ok I want a kids meal

Anna: me to!

They sat at a table and at there kids meals and drunk there drinks until it was time to go.

Mirai: I don't want the Timmy toy he is gay!

Anna: Yea me neither Vicky is gay too!

Vegeta: you two are six how do you….? No never mind just go get a different toy and we are never coming to this place again!

Disolves back to present time.

"Um ok," said King Vegeta, "That flash back desolvy thingy was weird."

"Yea," said Bulma, "it was. Vegeta you should have more patients with kids."

"When a little girl is protesting against the government in a McDonalds then I have about had it."


End file.

Dragon Ball Z, Humor