One Piece Banned from the Fun House

Twitter: Testing one- two- three… is this thing on?

V: (insert sweat drop here) That's a keyboard, not a microphone, you twit.

Twitter:…(looks from V to the keyboard then back to V)… So how are we supposed to tell the story then?

V: Oh dear god! Give me that, I'll write the damn story!

Twitter: (Nods sagely) Sounds good, you write… I supply the insanity.

V: (mutters to self) Why mess with a system that works… Okay kids listen up! The pairings are as follows: ZS, LUC, NR. There is no Yaoi or Yuri in this story, well not implied anyway, if you find any then its all on you, so don't expect too much in the way of heart-felt confessions of undying love. _'Single quotes in italics mean someone is performing the incredible ability to think'_"while double quotes show that someone is talking." There will be some light swearing, (especially where a certain swordsman and love-cook are involved) but nothing so bad that your eyes will spontaneously combust. The use of Japanese phrases will be non-existent, if at all, because I have a hard enough time with the English language as it is that I don't need to be getting' all fancy with another language! Finally, and let me stress the importance that you understand what I am about to say, WE DO NOT OWN ONE PIECE!! Having said that, on with the show! Oh, and don't forget to R+R because it's honestly the only reason I put up with this twit.

Why the Cast of One Piece is Forever Banned from Fun Houses 

Chapter One: In Which the Insanity Begins

The crew of the Merry Go were enjoying some unusually quiet down time. Luffy was occupying his usual perch at the front of the ship, his straw hat pushed over his eyes to hide them from the bright rays of the sun. A small bubble pulsed at his nose as he slept, a noticeable snore escaped him now and again. Nami was sunbathing, her back turned to the sky as she fought a loosing battle with the sand- man. A book of maps lay forgotten on the deck, partially shaded by a brightly colored tropical drink that had been Sanji's latest love offering. Robin, meanwhile sat in the shade of an oversized umbrella, sipping delicately at her own drink while flipping through yet another voluminous novel. Zoro, not surprisingly, was fast asleep, his weights and weapons temporarily abandoned. Sanji was in the kitchen, humming happily to himself as he turned a full carrot into a handful of thin orange slivers. Meanwhile, Ussop and Copper were below deck, each working on their own projects. Ussop repeatedly struck his latest invention in an attempt to knock the final piece into place, and each fall of the hammer caused a sound, not unlike wind chimes, to resonate throughout the tiny cabin. Chopper played audience to a number of beakers and vials, each bubbling, popping, and fizzing in turn.

But peace is a fickle guest aboard this tiny ship, for no sooner had the straw- hat crew become completely lost to a world of their own, than a tremendous explosion burst to life in Chopper and Ussop's workplace. The explosion had enough force behind it to jar the Merry Go so badly that it nearly capsized. Luffy, shaken from his nap, quickly saved himself from the sea by wrapping an extended arm around the sheep's head that had been his perch only moments before. Nami was unceremoniously flung to the deck, while Robin had, somehow, managed to stay in her seat, although the chair itself had slid several inches across the deck. Sanji, who had been setting the table, and making the final preparations to lunch, had managed to save every dish from the floor, but the gravy, that now thoroughly coated his normally golden hair, had not been so fortunate. Zoro slept on.

The screaming ball of fire that was Chopper, burst through the door of the lower deck, quickly ascending the stairs with a very disorientated Ussop not far behind. The doctor's screams were more of fear than of pain as he ran in a blaze across the ship's deck. A few tiny flames leapt from Chopper's back and began consuming the wooden ship.

Luffy was the first to act. Without taking the time to figure out that the screaming ball of fire was actually Chopper, Luffy extended his arms in a way that only a rubber man could, and catapulted the poor reindeer into the sea. This of course got a rise out of Nami.

"Luffy you idiot!" she screamed at her captain, running to the side of the boat where Chopper had been tossed into the sea.

Sanji exited the kitchen at that moment, firstly to find out what had just happened, and secondly to pummel Luffy for upsetting his beloved navigator. "Oi, what just happened?" he asked, still wiping gravy out of his eyes.

Nami seized this opportunity to knock the confused cook overboard after Chopper. "Luffy threw Copper overboard-" Nami began when Sanji's head had returned to the surface, coughing up the water that he had swallowed in his confusion.

Sanji, fortunately, was in need of no further explanation, and promptly dove into the sea's blue depths in search of Chopper.

Nami gripped the ship's railing, craning her neck so to spot any sign of Sanji and Copper's return to the surface.

"Miss Navigator," said Robin calmly, coming to stand beside Nami, "it seems that we have other problems." Robin extended a finger to point at the burning deck behind them.

However, the flames were extinguished, soon after Robin finished this sentence, by a slightly crispy swordsman. Zoro, who had somehow managed to sleep through the explosion, had finally woken when he found that his napping area had become uncomfortably warm. Seeing his boots on fire had effectively killed his napping mood. After stamping himself out, he had unsheathed on of his blades and aggressively cut through the air. This action had stirred enough of a breeze to effectively extinguish every flame on board. With a yawn, he put his kantana back in its proper place, and walked over to see what Nami and Robin were staring at.

A sputtering Sanji and semi- conscious Chopper, broke through the surface, and with the help of Robin and her many hands, they were soon safely dripping on the ship's deck.

Luffy, oblivious to everything, was staring down at a very charred Ussop, who was muttering something about them burring his crying body out at sea.

Nami, after seeing that Chopper would be all right, stomped over to the straw- hat captain and proceeded to reprimand him while encircling his neck with her hands. "You idiot!" she bellowed. "Do you ever _try_ to think? What if Chopper had drowned? What if-" Nami continued her tirade for another five minutes.

Zoro meanwhile, seeing that his captain wasn't in any _serious_ danger, turned his attention down to the cook who was currently removing his ruined shoes. "You look like a drowned rat."

Zoro observed.

"Shut-up moss head." Replied Sanji, without much conviction, as he attempted to purge the water from his jacket.

Fortunately, no one had been seriously hurt in the explosion. Ussop was busy moaning about the indescribable pain one minute, and the next he was telling them all he had suffered from far worse injuries back when he was the Great Capitan Ussop. Everyone had agreed that the 'Great Captain' was just fine. Remarkably, Chopper had escaped the incident relatively unscathed. True, his fur had been decently singed, and he had nearly drowned, but all things considered he had been lucky.

The workroom, on the other hand, had not gotten off so lucky. Stray bits of metal and glass had become imbedded into the walls and floor, entire chunks of the ceiling were absent, more importantly that meant parts of Nami's bedroom floor were now missing. Fortunately, the fire damage had been slight, but it was still apparent.

"It's gonna smell like smoke in here _forever_ now…" lamented Nami, now working to pull a piece of metal free of the wall.

"Shit!" cursed Zoro from the opposite corner, sticking his right thumb into his mouth to slow the bleeding. Chopper ran to him, pulling the appendage from Zoro's mouth and wrapped a bandage around the offended area. This was proven to be a repeated action as Zoro's hands were literally covered with medical tape.

From the stairs, Sanji, who was also working to free glass and metal from the woodwork, snickered. "_Big, bad swordsman,_ manages to fight off marines without so much as a scratch, but is repeatedly beaten by tiny _unmoving _pieces of scrap metal."

"Shut it crap- cook." Zoro snapped back. His glare swiftly gave way to a grin. "Besides, you should probably pay more attention to what _you're_ doing." He chuckled, pointing to Sanji's left.

"Shit." Said Sanji, now finding what Zoro had found so funny. He had managed to acquire a decent gash across his palm without realizing it.

With a sigh, Chopper, once again, grabbed the antiseptic and gauze as he hurried to his latest patient.

Ussop, who had been diligently staring through his spyglass while he 'recovered' in the crow's nest, suddenly spotted a dark spot on the horizon. "Land!" he called in warning to his comrades below as he attempted to get a better view.

The crew, momentarily diverted from their cleaning duties, all cam to get a better look. Not long after everyone had assembled on the deck, lights began exploding overhead.

"_Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!_" screamed Chopper and Ussop in unison as they ran haphazardly across the deck, only stopping after they had collided with one another.

"CooOOool!" said Luffy in his normal childlike manner, craning his neck to get a better view.

"Cool…" agreed Nami.

"I believe they are coming from the island." Remarked Robin as she watched a green light explode over the ship.

"Of course they're coming from the island!" yelled Ussop over the roar of exploding lights. "They're trying to kill us!!"

"If that's true," said Sanji, lighting a cigarette behind cupped hands, "then we really don't have to worry. They've got piss- poor aim."

Three more lights exploded overhead, their roar was followed by the boom of an amplified voice. "Welcome," bellowed the voice in a ceremonious manner, "to Carnival Island!"

**TBC**

Twitter:…

V: What?

Twitter:…

V: What?!?!

Twitter: … That's it?

V: What do you mean _'that's it'_ ?!?

Twitter:… I just thought there'd be… you know… more…

V: Well it's not like this is the final chapter you twit. Of course there'll be more.

Twitter:…_ Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_

V:…

Twitter: …

V: …What the hell?

Twitter:…I … don't… know…

V: … no more caffeine for you…


End file.

One Piece, Humor