One Piece 1. 7 years, July 12

_Okay, I know how many people hate 'self-inserters', I hate them too, but that makes me a hypocrite due to the fact that I really want to insert my character into the One Piece story. But to be nice I will not be with the Straw-hat pirates and asking Zoro to have my babies (god knows I wouldn't do that ever, love Zoro like a brother) I will instead insert myself with the CP9 cast….. why? (I know some of you will ask this) Because I am a retard and I love Lucci and all of those people, not Nero though, sorry Nero you get no love from me, so you shall die right off the bat in this story, but hey you will get mentioned._

_So, yeah, hate it, love it, or dang well whatever. This is set in an alternate universe though so whatever :D_

_Have a nice day!_

--

7 years, July 12th

Lucci was not one to wander about aimlessly for very long; yes he did have a short-lived tendency to be curious and inspect things out of curiosity, but as it was known: that did not last long. Even though it was clearly stated that he did not like to wander aimlessly about his co-agent, friend and lover, Kaku would pull him off to go do just that. And even though it greatly pissed him off to the point where he would grind his teeth sometimes, he would go anywhere with Kaku, as long as it was just Kaku and himself. Lucci was definitely a man of purpose, if he chose to do anything it always had to have a purpose. Today though was different, today was relaxed, even though Lucci never relaxed even in his sleep, okay maybe that was an exaggeration.

Kaku wanted to take a stroll downtown for a 'relaxing walk' as he put it, to 'smell the fresh air' and such nonsense. Lucci complied easily enough; he slid off the couch, placing his new book upon the small coffee table and walking out the door with Kaku who had put on his famous trademark, the cap. He now somewhat regretted it though, the sun was a bit too bright today; no clouds what-so-ever in the sky, but he had his two 'favorite' people with him. Well if you want to be technical Hattori is a bird but whatever and he was currently perched upon Lucci's shoulder, occasionally flying when there was a good gust of wind.

The shopping center of this magnificent town, known as Gally-la for some 'inane' reason as Lucci liked to put it, was very quiet. Few people and vendors were out or open, it was Sunday after all and this was the day most people chose to relax and take off. He noticed a vending machine not too far away and veered off towards it to get a drink; Kaku followed him like water, bending easily on a whim. After collecting the cold drink the two of them continued their walk down the less popular back streets. One reason was due to the fact that there were still people out in the shopping area and the other reason was that in the backstreets no one would walk through there, unless they were a punk asking for a death-wish.

Kaku took advantage of the solitude shared between the two of them and looped his arm with Lucci's, Lucci didn't mind, rather silently enjoying the contact. The houses down the backstreets were nice, yet by the rest of the city's standards they would be considered under-kept; bicycle parts lay strewn about, trash bags sitting next to back doors, broken bottles everywhere. The place a hazardous zone.

Walking along farther, in their silent precision they had perfected since adolescence, with glass crunching under their feet even the walk had become more tolerable. Then the tolerance was broken by the sound of yelling, glass exploding against a wall and the thud of a body hitting harshly hitting the ground.

"GET OUSH OF "ERE YOU FUCKING B-BRAT!" Came the slurred words of a drunk elderly man, he held another bottle in is hands, standing over the small figure of a child curled into a ball upon the ground. He raised the bottle above his head and plowed in down, barely missing the figure two feet in front of him.

_"God he must be really drunk to miss at that range..." _Lucci mused silently and glared at the man, Kaku had slipped from his body and rushed to the man and the small child on the ground. Kaku had knocked the man down before he could yell more slurred words; the man himself was so stunned that it took him a few minutes to recover from the shock of being knocked down, in which time Lucci had made his way over to Kaku and glared at the man on the ground scaring him shitless.

The drunken man stumbled up and hastily, clumsily, ran back to the back door he had come out of, leaving Lucci, Hattori, Kaku and the small child alone. Kaku looked down at the poor figure and bent down to pick it up. Lucci took in the stiffness of the body as it was picked up by the arm, the slight twitch of the head, the color of the skin and hair. Kaku planted the child upon their feet, facing him, kneeling down to their level. It was a small, brown haired, green eyed girl. Her fists were clenched, her eyes were bright and curious; her jaw was locked in fear. Alcohol dripped from her sodden bangs, streaking down her dirty face.

"Are you alright kiddo?" Kaku asked gently placing a caring hand upon her shoulder. The girl seemed to come out of a trance, calculated and sized up Kaku, head slightly tilted she answered.

"I'm fine now, thank you!" Her smile was genuine and kind, her body relaxed a little. Lucci stared at the girl in wonder; she looked to be no more than seven years old, yet she held herself with the confidence of a fifteen-year-old. She looked over at Lucci and her confidence seemed to wilt a little under his ever present glare but she composed herself and smiled just the same to him.

"Thank you," She stuttered, one hand unclenched and the clenched the hem of her dirty, to big for her body, shirt. Kaku smiled gently at her and reached out to grab her hand. She retracted nimbly, side-stepping easily and her demeanor changed instantly. Se watched the two of them warily, lips pressed thin; apprehension. Lucci became bored very quickly yet he was slightly amused by the child's antics.

"You sure you're okay kid? Was that your dad?" Kaku asked the child, she glanced back at the door, grimaced and faced Kaku again.

"No, he's not my dad, I don't have parents but I am okay with that." Lucci noticed the small twitch of her lip as she said 'okay' he looked at Kaku, Kaku looked back at him, he knew that look Kaku was giving him and he damn well didn't like it.

"No…" Lucci muttered and started to walk away.

"Come on, she's all alone, we can at least bring her to an orphanage…?" Kaku argued, he looked back at the girl to reassure her but found that she was walking in the opposite direction, "WHA? Wait kid!"

Kaku reached out to stop the girl, grabbing her tiny upper-arm and holding her there. She stopped and looked up at him in mild interest, calculating his actions it seemed. Kaku turned back to Lucci who had made it another twenty steps before turning around.

"Let her go Kaku, she obviously doesn't want to go with us…" His tone was low, almost a growl, Kaku shook his head.

"She's just a kid; we could at least take her to an orphanage…" This time it was more like a plea, Lucci's inner self caved a little. The girl tried to pry her arm out of Kaku's grip but failed to do so. Lucci walked back over to them casually and pulled them apart, he knelt to the girl's level. They said absolutely nothing to one another for a few moments; she shifted from one foot to the other feeling anxious.

"I don't want to cause you problems, if I go away with you someone if going to come after me, they'll cause you big problems and I don't want to do that to you." She spoke softly, determinedly.

"Why?" a simple question, and yet her life seemed to hang on the answer of that very question.

"I'm a slave girl, I was auctioned off to the man you just scared away, if he reports that I am gone the people who auctioned me off will come look for me and if they find I am with you or anyone at an orphanage they will do mean things to you." Her jaw clenched at the very idea of a burning building full of screaming children. Lucci's calm glare never wavered as he pondered her words. She waited a few more seconds as he stared at her then she turned around swiftly and started walking off.

"Where do you think you're going?" Lucci called out after her, she turned around and blandly spoke.

"I don't know where, but I'm going so that I won't cause you any problems, you seem to be a person who doesn't like to be bothered." She cocked her head to the side lazily, her eyes becoming glazed over a little as if lost in a daydream. Lucci stood up and walked calmly over to her, she stared up at him for a moment then made to walk off again, only to be thwarted by Lucci who picked her up around the waist and carried her back to Kaku.

"Let's go…" Lucci grunted, the young girl squirming in his arm, Kaku chuckled a little as he watched the little girl squirm. When they finally exited the back street the girl calmed down and hung like a dead-weight, mumbling to herself about "i warned them" and "freaking asshat beer drinker" which caused Kaku to smirk every now and again. When they had made it halfway through the shopping center the girl spoke again trying fruitlessly to make Lucci let her go.

"I have feet you know..." She told him.

"Really now?" Lucci replied, feigning surprise.

"I can walk on my own..." She stated, annoyed with Lucci's sarcasm.

"Yeah, you can run too I bet." Lucci again feigned shock and surprise which greatly annoyed the little girl as well; they were getting on each others nerves quickly.

"I don't want to cause you any problems, I told you already, if you take me with you, you are in for a heck of a lot of trouble!" the little girl gave a frustrated cry as she said the last word, Lucci ignored her. Kaku and Hattori were enjoying the little show. The girl fell quiet, Lucci remained so and all for of them walked in silence as the sun beat down upon them. Somewhere around three p.m. the building in which Lucci, Kaku and Hattori lived came into view; it was a rather large building, grand and white. Enies Lobby was printed in big letters on all four sides of the building. Enies Lobby was a building that was connected to the government, though no one knew what went on inside the building people respected it and anyone who ever came out of the building.

Lucci set the girl on her feet as they reached the door which had no handlebar or knob to open it with, Kaku held onto the girl by her upper arm again as Lucci slid open a secret hole in the wall where a pin pad was located; he then proceeded to punch in the code and then stood back. The door slid open and a gust of cool air escaped the air-conditioned building which also revealed an almost bare lobby, it contained a few red couched and two coffee tables on either side of the lobby. The quartet walked inside the bare lobby, Lucci leading the other two humans onward towards the back on the lobby where a desk stood but it looked as though it had not been used in years due to the amount of dust that covered it. Behind the desk was an elevator which they entered, Aven squirmed a bit as she noticed how small the elevator was, Kaku punched the fifth floor button.

The doors opened to reveal a hallway stretching from left to right with many doors down its length and then, on each end, turning into another hallway. Lucci exited first followed by Kaku who pulled the little girl along with him, she jerked her head as if coming to when Kaku started pulling her along. Turning left they passed by four doors then made another left turn and opened the fourth door. Beyond that door was only a room with only the necessities; a bed, couch, nightstand, medium coffee table, two windows over looking the city and two other doors that one would presume would lead to a closet and a bathroom.

Kaku finally released his hold on the young girl, leaving her to stand in the middle of the room while he walked off towards the door on the right. Lucci walked over to the couch and picked up his book he was reading before he had left for the walk, the book was called **The sonnets of William Shakespeare**, and rested himself on the couch. The girl stared about the room, soaking in every detail, standing stock still until Lucci called out to her.

"You can sit if you like..." it was not an offer or a demand, tossed out like an everyday topic between old friends; the girl smiled.

"I'm fine just by standing thanks." It was an honest kind of thanks yet Lucci seemed to have not heard it. Then Kaku stepped out of the bathroom carrying a towel and smiled at the girl.

"Hey, you know how to turn on a shower right?" the girl nodded, "Good, well either way it wouldn't have mattered but, you need to take a shower and uh, get rid of that shirt, I'll see if i can find you one around here while you take a shower so ... yeah..." There was an awkward pause after that, Hattori cooed from his perch by the open window. The girl took the initiative to walk over to Kaku, thank him, take the towel and head off into the bathroom. Kaku stared after her, even after the door closed, wondering what was going on.

"She thanks people too much I think..." Lucci broke Kaku's train of thought with those criticizing words, Kaku frowned at him.

"You heard her, she was a slave, she was probably taught to be polite to whoever bought her and it's probably a habit she's not about to break, " Kaku stated.

"Yeah, her mind is set on being returned to those slave traders after something horrible happens to us, treats herself like she's cursed." Lucci spoke without tone, yet to Kaku he seemed annoyed. Kaku shrugged his shoulders and walked to the door leading to the hall, "Where are you going?"

"To find Kalifa, she's the only other girl in the building, she might have some cloths for the kid," With that Kaku left.

Kalifa's room

Kaku knocked on the door to Kalifa's room, there was a small click a second later and the door opened. On the other side was a rather attractive, non-too-modest, woman with long blond hair and dressed in 'revealing' clothing.

"What is it Kaku?" Her tone emphasized curiosity and slight annoyance; she leaned against the door in a seductive pose.

"Um, I was wondering, do you have any ...eh... shirts I could borrow?" The question was simple yet coming from Kaku it was so strange.

"May I ask as to why you need one of MY shirts...?" Kalifa inquired, her interests perked a little, imagination running away with her.

"It's not what you think! Eh ... it's ... well, how do I explain this," Kaku struggled to find the words to elaborate what was going on, "Well, Lucci and I were walking around and we found a kid, and well, she was alone and we decided to bring her back here to either send her to a orphanage or something, but she needs a better shirt than the one she's got now, sooo ... do you have one she could borrow for a bit?" Kalifa looked him up and down, the look in her eyes gave him a probed feeling.

"Lucci ... allowed this?" She replied, he nodded, and she shrugged, "Let's see if I have anything." She cheered, her face instantly brightened. After about 20 minutes though it was assumed that 'nothing' Kalifa owned was suitable for a seven or eight-year-old.

"That's okay Kalifa, I might have something she can wear, I'm gonna head back to the room now, thanks for helping," Kaku sighed as he exited the room. Kalifa poked her head out the doorway as he continued down the hall and called out to him.

"Can I come see her?" She asked.

"Huh, oh yeah, if you want, sure!" Kaku grinned; Kalifa followed him back to his room. When they opened the door they found the girl and Lucci sitting at opposite ends of the couch. The girl was petting Hattori, who was enjoying the affection, while Lucci continued to read his book; they both looked up as Kaku and Kalifa entered the room. The girl was wearing a rater large white shirt on her, her face was pink due to scrubbing and her hair was a bit poufy, the color was dark brown. Kaku looked over at Lucci with a questioning expression; Lucci shrugged meaning she-needed-a-shirt-and-i-didn't-want-her-sitting-on-the-couch-with-a-towel-on.

Kalifa though, when she saw the girl she broke out into a squeal of delight so high-pitched it made the Phantom of the Opera's leading character girl seem quiet(1).

"You're so cute!" with that she ran over to the surprised girl and tackle-hugged her. The poor unsuspecting girl's face was a classic that needed to be photographed; eyes wide in shock; mouth half open to scream, an instant classic. Kalifa pulled the girl up with ease into a back breaking hug.

"GA-h!" she squeaked as the air from her lungs escaped and then she hung limp in Kalifa's embrace for a moment. Kaku stared at Kalifa, confused by her sudden … affectionate persona while Lucci glared at her for squeaking so damn loud. Suddenly Kalifa let the girl go and she plopped down upon the end of the couch with a soft 'thud' and a small squeak.

"So kid, what's your name?" Kalifa crouched down close to the little brown-haired girl's face, pushing herself into her little bubble.

"A-Aven ……." Aven stuttered, terrified by Kalifa for a moment and then her demeanor changed again, "You have pretty blue eyes." Kalifa smiled.

"She's coming with me tonight!" Kalifa announced and grabbed Aven's hand and dragged her off towards the door then turned around to face Kaku, "And before you ask, it is because I am not leaving her alone with two men and that's sexual harassment." Kaku stood stunned as Kalifa and Aven walked out of the door leaving Lucci and himself alone.

"What does she mean by sexual harassment?" Kaku looked over to Lucci, who had just put his book down and walked over to the door to lock it. Lucci then gracefully closed the distance between them, mouth instantly attacking Kaku's neck. Teeth scraping across soft sensitive skin caused Kaku to moan lightly. Lucci grinned an evil, somewhat feral grin upon Kaku's neck before bringing his face up to Kaku's face.

"I think she means this…"

--

_Aven: okay so this is the first chapter …. ish, there is a part two to this chapter and it might be that way for the most of this story. So like I said if you didn't like it I understand, I became obsessed with the idea of what my character would do the other characters. So I put her here … oh what fun I shall have._

_If you did like this …. Well your weird, but I like it that you like it._

_Sooooo yeah….. I'll explain the timeline in the next chapter._

_(story) Aven: why am I a slave?_

_Aven: because I had to give you a sob story so that you would be a justice fanatic as well as Lucci and the others … or something like that…._

_(story) Aven: ok ….. um, goodbye peoplez…. See ya next chapter._

_(1)- if anyone remembers that in the Phantom of the Opera movie there is one song that has a A-flat pitch or something, I don't know much about music but my friends pointed this out to me, so I used it here, if this seems to make Kalifa out of character I am sorry I didn't read much of the Enies Lobby arc, so yeah, I fail, I know it._


	2. 7 years, July 13

**Onto the story!-**

**(frying pan from God hits authoress)**

**God: DISCLAIMER!**

**Authoress: Oh …right …. Damn that hurt….owie…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own this, I can't get the rights from Oda-san, if I tried it would be the court case of the century (although I think we have enough of those everyday) and I would fail and thus tick off all the One Piece fans out there who read the manga because it would cut into Oda-san's manga drawing time. So yeah, I'm not even going to try that. But IF I did, there would be a lot of scenes that would imply LuccixKaku-ness. **

**Every time you forget to put a disclaimer …. God throws frying pans at you….. **

7 years, July 13

Lucci woke up before the sun rose per usual; the covers were strewn about the bed, mostly kicked off on his left side where Kaku lay snoozing away with hair flattened on one side while the other side remained rather spiky. Lucci's hand ghosted across the sheets and placed it upon Kaku's face, fiddling with a short orange lock just above his ear for just a moment then he let go and strode over to the bathroom. The bathroom itself was rather lifeless; consisting of a large mirror, two orange towels on the opposite towel rack and shampoo, conditioner and body wash in the shower along with a toothbrush and tooth paste on the sink. Pretty lifeless, but it was somewhat comforting to a man who lived on bare necessities.

In the shower Lucci's mind wandered about through the memories of yesterday while lathering his dark hair with shampoo. Aven was a pretty strange kid, she was kind, obedient and silent and he didn't mind that at all but she seemed just a tad out of the ordinary.

He turned off the water, got out of the shower and dried off with one of Kaku's orange towels. He wiped off the steam on the mirror. After towel drying his hair and taking care of other cleanliness necessities he exited the bathroom to find Kaku still asleep; it was 5:30 in the morning anyway. Hattori sat upon the window sill sleeping, chest rising and falling steadily, with his small black tie sliding over his feathery chest.

Lucci walked into the closet which consisted of black, black and white but it was still mostly black. Underwear (no I ain't telling you what his underwear is XD), pants, shirts all the necessities were covered. He looked over to the little rack of ties and decided that today he wasn't going to wear one. A white shirt and black pants and socks were fine today and it wasn't like there was going to be a mission later on anyway. Closing the closet door Lucci looked through the window and saw the sky was turning a light pink or orange and glanced back over at the bed. Kaku lay haphazardly across it, one leg sticking out from under the covers and over the side of the bed and his left arm draped over his face and hooked over his nose. It was comical to say in the least and Lucci smirked a little.

He left Kaku there, it was 5:50 in the morning and he decided to take a walk up the stairs to the kitchen, good ol' morning exercise. The kitchen was located on the fifth floor and took up half of said floor. The other half was taken up by the dinning room and those rooms were about the most decorated of all the rooms in the tower if you didn't consider Kalifa's room, Jyabura's room and the training room. The kitchen definitely wasn't a simple room; it held every technological advancement ever created to make the CP9's life easier when it came to cooking food.

Even with all of the wonderful gadgets Lucci's favorite was the coffee maker for it was a finely tuned machine that he had beaten, knocked off the counter and thrown down the stairs until it started making his coffee just the way he liked it, and it did a damn good job. The only thing it could not do was grind the coffee beans but he took pleasure in doing that piece of labor. It was also a wonderful sound to hear, though it might have been annoying to others, and the exquisite aroma that escaped the machine when he opened the lid was like crack to his senses, sending him on an all time high.

Yeah, coffee was his crack alright.

The only obstacle between him and his coffee, no matter how much he wanted it to blow up, was time and it took 30 minutes and 4 seconds precisely. The sky was a wonderful yellow-orange-pink color by the time the coffee was done. He pulled out a white coffee mug from the cabinet and poured the black-crack-coffee into it, taking it to the windowsill and drinking it peacefully. About three minutes later the ding of the elevator, reaching its, destination rang through the air. The strangest thing about it was that as the door opened a small, white/black/brown thing flew between the doors and across the room to hide under the table. Kalifa exited the elevator a few seconds after the doors had opened completely, her face held signs of worry.

"I didn't realize you were that afraid of elevators kiddo." Kalifa muttered as she walked over to the table to try and console Aven out from under it.

"That thing is evil!" Aven hissed as she clambered out from under the table into Kalifa's safe arms.

"Exactly why is it evil?" Lucci called out to her from across the room. She gave him a look that was somewhere between exasperation and irritation.

"Instead of going to the fourth floor it went up to the sixth floor, stopped, opened, closed its self and started going down again." She stated. Lucci raised an eyebrow to her.

"Maybe Kalifa pressed the wrong button," He offered and went back to drinking his coffee.

"No, she didn't, the level four button was glowing the whole time, and unless there is an invisible monster in that thing-" she pointed accusingly at the elevator, "It stopped halfway through coming back down here and went up again to the sixth floor and opened and closed again."

"Oh it's not an invisible monster on the elevator; it's a ghost that likes to go to the fifth floor because it's the ghost of a woman that died there…" Lucci added creepily, Aven stared wide-eyed at him in fear, she looked back at the accursed elevator and then back at him and pressed herself closer to Kalifa's body. Lucci couldn't help but smirk as he returned to his coffee.

"Stop trying to scare the poor kid Lucci!" Kalifa glared at him as she hugged Aven closer, "Don't believe him, no one has ever died in this building and there are _certainly_ no ghosts in this building!"

"That's what you think….." Lucci muttered to himself just low enough for Kalifa to hear him. Kalifa glared at him for a few more seconds before she and Aven started running about the kitchen looking for something for them to eat. By the time they had settled on cooking eggs and bacon Kaku had entered the room. He muttered a half-hearted morning to everyone and he trudged over to the counter with the coffee maker on it. To anyone that ever knew Kaku they knew he was a morning person ONLY after he got a cup of coffee down in his system. It seems to work that way with adults; it's like a sickness no one can cure, once you get into drinking coffee you never get out of it. Kalifa had shooed Aven off as she cooked the eggs and bacon so Aven went off to the cabinets with Kaku and pulled out a mug for him.

"Aw, thank you Aven" Kaku smiled as he took the mug from her, Aven smiled back and slid off of the counter.

"Want me to make some coffee for you?" She offered. Kaku stood still for a moment, arguing with himself before he nodded and let her take his mug from him. She crawled back onto the counter and rummaged around in the spice cabinet pulling out Irish cream and other such spices. The bacon sizzled in the background as Lucci watched the city around the building start to wake up with the morning paper boy making his rounds. Kaku leaned on the counter, head down, eyes half-opened as Aven made him her recipe of coffee.

"Here you go!" Aven chirped, shoving the coffee into Kaku's face while she sat down on the counter, Kaku mumbled a thank you to her and slid into the nearest chair while holding his precious pick-me-up tightly in one hand. Lucci finished his coffee and headed over to the coffee maker to pour some more but he met the obstacle named Aven. He stopped, she watched him with wide expectant eyes, and he cleared his throat.

"Is there something you want?" Aven smiled at him and held out her right hand.

"Can I make you some coffee?" Lucci stared at her hand for a moment confused by her antics.

"Fine…" He gave her the cup as he mumbled; in return the girl gave a joyous giggle and set about pouring the coffee and ingredients into the mug. Lucci walked over to the table and seated himself next to Kaku and waited patiently for his drink. Kaku watched her for a moment before averting his eyes towards Lucci's direction and placed his coffee on the table.

"She's a really sweet kid Lucci," Kaku stated as he turned to face his co-worker. Lucci glared at him, seeing right through his foreplay.

"We're not adopting her Kaku, and that's final…" Lucci stated coldly, though for the sake of the kid he was keeping his voice low.

"Oh come on, what's keeping us from taking care of a kid?" Kaku shot back, irritated by Lucci's attitude. Lucci gave him a cold glare as if it was obvious.

"Watching over a kid requires a lot of work." Lucci stated.

"And?" Kaku inquired.

"Our 'job' doesn't allow much time to watch a kid," said Lucci.

"She seems like a good kid…" Kaku offered

"Yeah, but I doubt we could leave her by herself for a whole day, she seems like the type to have abandonment issues…" Lucci muttered

"She didn't grow up like you did with your horrible childhood" Kaku retorted, glaring a Lucci.

"My childhood was not horrible and even if she did she never would have survived it," Lucci sounded mildly offended by Kaku's remark.

"Would you put her through that?"

"No, but what's wrong with growing up to be like me?"

"Besides ending up a cold and cynical bastard?" Kaku chided, Lucci smirked with an air of pride. (1) Aven suddenly appeared between them carrying Lucci's mug, she placed it on the table and scooted it closer to Lucci's hand. She then walked off to help Kalifa serve the eggs and bacon between four plates and carry them to the table. Lucci reverted to his ever placid look as he drank the coffee. When he finished with the first gulp he looked down at the cup, staring into its brown contents with emotionless eyes. He placed the cup on the table and got up, Kaku followed him with his eyes and before he left he said,

"She can stay…" Lucci then picked up the coffee cup and walked over to the window again to watch the city below. Kaku gazed after him, confused yet pleased with his answer, he reclined in the chair and sipped at his coffee.

"Breakfast is ready!" Kalifa and Aven called. Aven was balancing two plates with both arms while Kalifa balanced another two on one arm and her coffee in the other.

"Nice Kalifa," Kaku smirked as he reached forward to grab a plate from Aven. Kalifa repositioned her glasses and said;

"That's sexual harassment Kaku." Kaku rolled his eyes and smiled, Aven smiled with him. He looked over his shoulder and motioned for Lucci to come sit with them. The elevator door opened and out stepped the devilishly handsome (Well Lucci would call him a pain in the ass) Jayabura. His goatee and long, whisker like, mustache stood out and accentuated his character. His mischievous grin plastered, like always, on his lips as he looked around the kitchen.

"The food smells good today Kalifa! What are we havin-" He stopped mid sentence when he noticed Aven sitting down next to Kaku with her plate in front of her, "Who's the shrimp?" Aven's face turned a deep crimson when the words were spoken and slipped her hands into her lap.

"Her name is Aven, not shrimp, Jayabura," Kaku stated, rather annoyed by Jayabura's rudeness.

"Oh, well then, where'd she come from?" He casually walked over to the table and slipped into a chair while keeping his eyes locked on the 'shrimp'.

"Lucci and I found her yesterday." Kaku answered flatly. Jayabura glance at him for a second then he turned around in the chair and said:

"What? You picking up strays now Lucci?" Lucci glared at him, Jayabura returned his trademark smile. He then returned his attention back to Kaku and Aven, mostly Aven, "So then, shrimp, where did you come from?"

"Um…. My mother's…tummy?" Aven answered a little confused. Jayabura stared at her for a moment, along with Kaku who looked like he was about to laugh, Kalifa stared helplessly at the girl while Lucci ignored them. Jayabura's bark-like laughter broke the silence, head down and fist hitting the table, and Kaku let out a snort of laughter while Kalifa slapped her hand to her forehead.

"Pfft, hahahaha, shrimp, you sure are one hell of a card." Jayabura said, wiping a tear from his eye, "But, no, seriously. I mean where did you come from, like the streets or an orphanage?"

"Oh… I came from the slave trade center, is that what you were asking for?" Aven said innocently. Jayabura instantly shut up, his face portrayed that of utter shock. He stared at Kaku in disbelief then turned around to Lucci and barked:

"What the hell are you two doing at a place like that? You two have each other right?" He pointed accusingly at Kaku, "Why the hell would you bring in a kid for _those_ things!?" Kaku then proceeded to hit him on the back of the head.

"We're not doing _that_ to her dumbass!" Kaku shouted, Lucci stared at them both, seemingly bored with their little scuffle, "We found her on the streets but all she's ever known is the slave trade place!"

"Oh…" Jayabura stared at the table sheepishly, "I … see." Kaku rolled his eyes and sat back down, looking rather disgruntled. Jayabura stayed silent for a few more moments but that didn't last long.

"Well then shrimp, nice to meet ya, I'm Jayabura!" Jayabura reached over the table for a handshake. Aven looked between him and his hand, obviously not understanding what she needed to do. Jayabura shook his hand a little and Aven took the initiative to reach out her hand slowly and grasp his. Jayabura shook their hands vigorously, effectively shaking Aven's entire body; she was nearly pulled out of her seat and across the table.

She placed her hand on the edge of the table to regain her bearings and sat back in the chair. Kalifa and Jayabura chuckled while Kaku poked her in the side, causing her to cry out in surprise as she was tickled. Lucci watched the scene before him play out as the sun, rising behind him, brightened the kitchen. He turned back to the window and sipped his coffee, watching the world beyond the window.

* * *

(1)**: that entire conversation was in a dream I had between Lucci and Kaku. Yes I know it sounds retarded and unreal but this fic has been bugging me to no end! I just can't write fast enough…. Ne oh well, that part about Lucci being a cold, cynical bastard was funny to me. **


	3. 7 years, July 13 part two

**Well..... here you go.... ish I can't think of anything witty today. **

**Evil Bunny: Disclaimer much? **

**Oh RIGHT! Wait... what happened to God? **

**Evil Bunny: Nothing, continue with disclaimer or I'll hit you with the frying pan.**

**MMEEEEEPPP!  
**

**Disclaimer of pointlessness: I only own Aven and all of her random/bi-polar-ness (yes I'm lookin' at you Yami no Yumi)**

**Evil Bunny: Good**

**So no hitting me? **

**Evil Bunny: .... not a chance -throws frying pan at Blu-**

**Owwwiiiieeeee**

* * *

7 years, July 13th part two

They were all sitting on the semi circle couch with Blueno and Aven at one end and Fukurou on the other. Kalifa was next to Blueno while having a difficult time trying to convince Aven that the elevator was not evil and haunted. Kumadori was absent from the showcasing of the little girl but was to be coming back from his mission at any moment. Lucci and Kaku were sitting in the middle, explaining how, and in Kaku's defense why, they wanted to adopt the little girl. Aven was sitting in Blueno's lap and messing with his gloves when she looked up and asked,

"You want to adopt me?" Kaku nodded eagerly while Blueno got up to allow her to stand in the middle of the semi circle, "You can't adopt me." Kaku sat there for a moment, utterly surprised by Aven's reply.

"Why not?" Kaku inquired politely. Aven sighed exasperatedly and slapped her hand to her forehead.

"I already told you, the people at the slave trade center will find me sooner or later and take me back. You can't adopt me, it just won't work." She explained.

"Do you want to go back?" Kaku rebutted

"…No, no not really." She shifted from foot to foot and looked at the ground as if she had uttered a foul word. Kaku smiled and clapped his hands.

"Well then it's settled, you won't have to go back and I'm pretty sure you are welcome to stay here!" He glanced at Lucci trying to gain some support. Lucci remained like a stone, silent and unemotional, but proceeded to help his cause.

"Listen Aven, no one is going to get you here. Do you know who we are?" Aven shook her head, "We are the members of the Cipher Police 9; the highest ranking Government group there is, next to the Admirals of the World Government. No one would mess with us and as long as you are with us no one will mess with you either."

Aven stared at him for a long time as she scrutinized his words, she bit her bottom lip in concentration. Finally she smiled as if she came to the conclusion that she could believe him and then the door slammed open.

"YO YOI! I AM BAAACCCKKK!" Kumadori yelled excitedly as he walked through the door. Every head swiveled around to look at him at neck breaking speed. He stopped for a moment and noticed that everyone seemed to be a little peeved at him.

"Iiiiiisssss theeerreeeeee some-thiiinngggg wroonng?" Kumadori flowed through slow motions while asking the question. Blueno answered him before anyone else could chew Kumadori out.

"Other than rudely interrupting us whilst we were discussing a very interesting subject, no there really isn't anything wrong." Kumadori stopped his slow yoga-like poses and stared at them in utter horror.

"I HAVE SHAMED MYSELF! FORGIVE ME FOR SUCH DISRESPECT! I SHALL COOMIT SEPPUKU TO REDEEM MYSELF!" Kumadori knelt on his knees and angles his staff towards his chest. Just as it was about to plunge into his chest he unconsciously used Tekkai. There was a long pause before, "I HAVE FAAIILLLEED!"

To which everyone just ignored him until he calmed down which didn't take long.

"So what was the 'IIiiiinnterestiiinnggg' subject Blueno was talking abooouuuttt?"

"We have someone we want you to meet. She's right-" Kaku motioned towards the center of the semi-circle only to find that Aven wasn't there, "Where'd she go?" He got up and started looking around the area.

"Where did who go?" Kumadori inquired, scratching his head in confusion.

"Did you see where she went?" Kaku ignored his question. Everyone shook their head, save for Lucci. Aven wasn't anywhere to be seen. After three minutes of fruitless searching Kaku and Kalifa began to silently worry. Kumadori was still confused but decided to join in the search even though he had no idea who, or what, he was looking for.

"She pulled a Houdini, how very interesting." Blueno commented offhandedly, "If she is not here then she must have gone downstairs somehow."

"That's impossible…" Kaku muttered.

"Well it is pretty impossible to hide from us, isn't it?" Blueno pointed out. He was right, for one thing it was nearly impossible to hide from the CP9. It was also one thing to lose a kid in a building. It was another thing to lose a young girl in a government building which hosted the finest assassins in the world, which entailed that they had to be good trackers. Lucci was beginning to wonder what kind of child Aven was and what trouble she would bring.

"Might as well look for her downstairs, she seems to do impossible things. Lucci?" Lucci raised an eyebrow to Kaku.

"What?"

"You gonna come look for her?" Kaku motioned for the open door.

"I'll wait for her here, I don't think she went far." Lucci replied coldly.

"Hey!" Jayabura yelled from down the hall, "You guys already started without me?"

"We actually finished without you, we have to look for Aven now." Kalifa explained coolly while adjusting her glasses, "She seems to have pulled a Houdini." Jayabura walked into the room and looked around.

"You guys already lost her?" He chuckled behind his hand which didn't improve anyone's mood.

"If you don't mind it would help the situation if you would move away from the doorway Jayabura," Kalifa stated darkly, Jayabura raised an eyebrow at her but complied with her wishes. He made his was over to the end of the couch Blueno had once occupied and jumped on.

He nearly immediately jumped off when something under the cushion gave a surprised and muffled scream. Kaku, Blueno and Kalifa stopped halfway out the door when they heard the scream as well. Jayabura ripped the cushion off and there lay Aven, squished into the tiny crevice of the couch that she had somehow magically squeezed into.

"How the hell-?" Jayabura began but fell silent as he contemplated the girl's squishing ability.

"You squished me…" Aven stated simply. She rolled out of her hiding spot and swept the dust bunnies off of her, her hair was a little frizzy due to the static, "Is that yelling person gone?"

"Who? Kumadori?" Jayabura jabbed his thumb in Kumadori's direction. Kumadori perked up and the mention of his name and inspected the girl. He started posing and stretching as he moved around the couch and inspecting her.

"SOOOoooo youuuu are the little…Peerrssoooonnnn they were Taaallkkinngg about!" He stopped and hit the butt of his staff twice on the ground, she stared back at him in curious interest.

"Yes?" She replied.

"Weeeelllll…" he stopped and stooped low due to their contrasting heights and held out his hand, "Nice to meet you!" When they shook hands he got up close and personal with her, making her bend backwards a little, "You are a very short person."

"She's a shrimp" Jayabura interjected.

"No she's not Jayabura!" Kaku retorted harshly. Jayabura began to chuckle.

"She's a kid to be exact." Kalifa stated in a matter-of-fact way. Blueno remained silent, knowing if he added his two cents that all hell would break loose. Lucci was growing quickly annoyed with the other agents and barked out.

"She's a child, end of discussion!" Everyone fell silent as expected. Fukurou opened his mouth after a few short seconds though.

"So… shall we be adopting her or not?" Kumadori and Jayabura stared at Fukurou in shock. Before either of them could ask what was going on though Lucci began talking.

"You won't do that again." It took a moment before they realized that he was talking to Aven. Aven didn't know how to respond so stayed silent. Lucci waited for her to answer. Tension filled the room as the others waited for her answer as well.

"Don't do what again?" She finally asked.

"Don't ever hide like that again, there is nothing to be scared of." Lucci said coldly, she froze in fear as is words sent chills down her spine. She nodded which seemed to alleviate Lucci's apparent disapproval of her actions. He raised himself off the couch and approached her, taking her hand in his and making a bee line for the door.

"Where are you going?" Kaku asked when they were halfway out the door.

"Adoption agency…" Lucci replied before continuing out the door. Aven's eyes reflected that of shock but she seemed to be still too stunned to say anything. Kaku smirked and followed him out and waved to the others goodbye. When the door at the other end of the hallway closed it left the other CP9 agents to their own agenda and for Jayabura and Kumadori it left a lot of unanswered questions.

"So… wait?" Kalifa glanced at him in mild interest, "She's going to be living with us?" Kalifa nodded and exited as well, smiling a little. Jayabura was left standing next to the cushion less end of the couch utterly bemused. Kumadori started dancing joyfully at the thought of a kid coming to live with them and started muttering on how he would teach her Kabuki drama.

"She's not getting my room…" Jayabura muttered to himself and replaced the cushion.

* * *

**OMG DUST BUNNIES! -vacuums them off of Aven-**

**Evil Bunny: THOSE WERE MY COUSINS! **

**.....eh hhehehe...he....heh?**

**Evil Bunny: -is going to kill Blu-  
**


End file.

One Piece, Humor