Harry Potter Ginny Weasley's Great Idea

**Disclaimer: I don't own it.**

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A/N: **This was written as a request. First please take note of the warnings.

**WARNINGS: Suicide, suggestive language, making fun of suicide victim.**

If you don't like, don't read. This was a request that got out of hand in my head.

Second, this is not supposed to be a serious story. Don't take it as a serious story. Okay?

Let's begin.

There should have been a saddness in the air. The chill that this event should have brought with it did not exist. And yet Ginny could not bring herself around to care.

Ten feet away from where she stood, lay her old friend. She remembered the last time she spoke to her, at the wedding. Was it really only two weeks ago? It felt like forever.

Ginny looked over at Ron, and was surprised to see his eyes were dry. Strange. One would think that at a funeral at least someone would be crying, someone would be upset that a loved one died. But this funeral just didn't seem like a funeral, it just felt awkward.

After Hermione graduated from Hogwarts, she started to keep to herself more. Nobody knew why this once smart-mouthed Gryffindor suddenly didn't say a peep. She didn't even correct Ron when he was wrong, whcih was most of the time.

And then, just a few months ago, when Ron and Hermione announced their engagement, it had come to a surprise to everyone. Well, Ginny wasn't surprised that Ron and Hermione had feelings for eachother, more of the fact that they were getting engaged so young. At only 18! At the wedding, which had only been a week ago, neither of them looked ready for marriage.

Things just got weirder when the Weasley's recieved a call from Ron, who was on his honeymoon, just two days ago. About Hermione. About how Hermione killed herself.

The whole situation didn't make sense at the least. Why did Hermione kill herself? Did she plan it, to get married and then kill herself on the honeymoon? Or was it a quick desicion? Nothing added up. There was information missing, and Ginny didn't really feel like looking for the clues. Not for someone she barely knew anymore.

As the service ended, the dry faces of Hermione's old friends started apparating away, until she and Ron were the only ones left. Ginny started to retreat to the side of the cemetary, where the forsest begin, because although she didn't want to leave just yet, she also saw that her brother wanted some alone time. She slowly started to retreat into the woods. That was when a familiar face came out from behind the shadows of the trees.

"What took her so long?" Blaise Zabini said, like it was as normal as speaking his own name.

"What?" Ginny asked. He caught her by surprise, she thought she was the only one here, and besides, he didn't even _attend _the funeral. But here he was, standing in front of her. Making small talk. That she didn't even understand.

"Nevermind. It was a joke."

Ginny just stared at him for a minute. Then she got the joke.

"You're making fun of a suicide victim?" Ginny asked, partially shocked.

"Nevermind. It wasn't right."

"Oh." And they just stood there for a moment, in the silence. And then Ginny started to laugh. _Hysterically. _Like she had never heard anything funnier in her life. And then Blaise started laughing too, and they both couldn't stop. And Ginny needed to sit down, she was laughing too hard to support herself.

"Hahaha..whhahahaha..wwwwhahahahaa..." Blaise tried to ask why she was sitting on the dirt ground, in her respectable funeral clothes. But he couldn't stop laughing for long enough to get a word out. So he just sat down right next to her, still laughing, but feeling the coldness of the ground seep into his butt.

Finally, after a while, when they were able to breathe normally again, Ginny put her head on Blaise's shoulder. The silence was almost too comfortable.

"What are you doing here?" Ginny suddenly asked. The question wasn't even on her mind.

Blaise took her hand and started to stroke it, softly. "I'm here with Draco." He said.

Ginny got up at this. "What the hell are you doing hanging out with _Draco? _You two aren't friends! And what do you mean you are _here _with him? I thought he hated Hermione!"

Blaise chuckled. This was the Ginny he knew, the girl who couldn't stop saying what she was thinking. And never stopped thinking. He got up from the floor, brushing the dirt off of his cold butt. "We weren't here to see Hermione. At least, not me and Draco. Crabbe was here to see her. We hid in the forest the whole time."

"THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE!" Ginny screamed at him, with no idea where this rage was coming from.

"Well, contrary to what you might believe, Draco doesn't just use Crabbe and Goyle as his minions anymore. They are friends, or, close enough to friends."

"THAT STILL DOESN'T MAKE ANY FUCKING SENSE YOU MORON!" She was still screaming, but her voice was getting more sarcastic as she spoke, her mouth was tugging into a smile.

Blaise looked at her for a moment, then he understood. "Oh. Wait, she never told you? Really?"

"WHAT THE BLOODY FUCK DO YOU THINK IM SCREAMING AT YOU ABOUT?" She felt her dimples in her cheeks from how hard she was smiling.

Blaise shook his head..."Crabbe and Hermione hooked up middle of Seventh year."

What? Ginny just stared at him. "I know," he said while pointing to the graveyard, "Besides, what are you doing in the woods? Isn't the funeral over there?"

"Yeah, but I wanted to give my brother some alone time. She was his wife, after all."

Blaise looked from her to the graveyard curiously. "Where's your brother?"

"Over there," Ginny said, pointing to where she thought her brother was. Nobody was there. Blaise gave her an amused look.

"Oh, really?"

"Yes really!"

"Are you sure you're not going crazy, Weasley?" He was smiling now, too.

"No." She ran over to Hermione's grave, and screamed back at him, "MY BROTHER WAS RIGHT HERE."

Blaise caught up to where she was standing. He put his muscular, tan arm around her, and pulled her closer to him for no good reason at all. "Sure he was." And before Ginny could protest, his lips were on hers.

Ginny could feel her body heat up. Both of them were groping eachother, hands were _everywhere, _and _Oh Man, _Ginny thought, _this feels so damn good._

And that is when Ginny started to get this idea. She started to fall to the ground dragging Blaise with her. They were now lying on the grass, tounges attached to eachothers when Blaise pulled back for air.

"You really want to make out on top of Hermione's grave?" Blaise asked her.

"Nope. I want to have sex with you on top of Hermione's grave. But foreplay always makes it better."

Ginny could have sworn she heard a muffled voice, but ignored it. Ginny climbed on top of Blaise. "Come on, baby. I am going to ride you like Hermione rode Crabbe."

"Actually, she was on all fours."

"That slut," Ginny muttered to herself.

"YOUR THE SLUT YOU BITCH!" Ginny heard someone yell at her, and didn't even turn around to see who said it. She started to put on a show for the onlooker. They were both naked all of a sudden, her face in estacy, her loud moans, his deep grunts. It was all too much to bear.

"YOU FUCKING SLUT! I JUST FUCKIGN DIED!" Hermione woke up from her nightmare to find that she was in her dark room, at Hogwarts. She felt so dirty, so betrayed, so unloved. She needed to get out of there.

She was sneaking down the corridors, on her way to get comfort food, when she saw Crabbe and Goyle walking towards her, arms full of cupcakes. Hermione took a cupcake from Crabbe's arm, took a bite, and then gave him a smile. In that moment, with her mouth filled with chocolate frosting, she forgot about her dream.

But the next day, she would remember. People would ask her what was wrong, they would worry. But she wouldn't be able to tell them, wouldn't even be able to speak. Because no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get Ginny's moans out of her head.

THE END


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Harry Potter, Humor, Romance