One Piece 1. The horror, the horror

Once a upon a time, there was a beautiful green haired, red eyed girl named Mary. She lived in the Bronx. The poor girl had no friends because she just....didn't have any. Her mother was a prostitute. Her father was a drunk that would abuse her everyday! Mary still took up karate and was the best in her class! Way to go, Mary!  
  
She was also a straight a student, captain of her school's softball team, editor of the school newspaper and was named Best Student of the year! Yet nobody loved her for some strange reason.  
  
Mary's only escape from her grim reality was reading her One Piece manga. She loved it with all her heart and soul.  
  
One day, Mary slept in her warm cozy bed when all of a sudden, a fairy flew in through the window!  
  
"AUGH!" The fairy shouted as it crashed into a wall.  
  
"Huh? What the heck?" Mary murmured. She then realized that a winged creature was splattered on her wall. "OH MY GOD!!!"  
  
The girl conviniently got her giant fly swatter and began to smack the fairy.  
  
"HEY! OW! OUCH! AHH!!" The poor fairy cried.  
  
"Wait a minute. You are a fairy!" Mary blinked.  
  
"No crap...but even though you are obnoxious, I still love you and want to grant you a special wish!!" The fairy giggled.  
  
"Cool! I wish....I wish I could be transported into the One Piece world!" Mary replied.  
  
"Um, okay."  
  
Then in a poof, Mary got her wish!  
  
Meanwhile....  
  
A rowboat is shown the middle of the vast ocean. Inside the small vessel, a boy is seen, Luffy D. Monkey! He dreams to become the pirate king and find the legendary treasure "One Piece"....little did he know, what terror- I mean goodness was coming his way!  
  
"Wow! What a great day!" Luffy said to nobody in particular.  
  
Suddenly Mary fell from the sky.  
  
"AHHHHHH!!!!" Mary screamed as she landed on Luffy.  
  
"Hey!" Luffy said.  
  
"Like, OH MY GOD!!!!! YOU ARE SO LUFFY D MONKEY!!"  
  
"How did you know my name?" Luffy asked.  
  
"I can't believe I am actually in the One Piece world! This is totally cool!" Mary giggled.  
  
"Hey! You can be the first member of my crew!" Luffy exclaimed.  
  
"YES! YES! OH GOD! YES!" Mary then bounced up and down.  
  
Even Luffy was confused by her behavior!!  
  
"What's your name?" He asked.  
  
"Mary Sue Smith!"  
  
"...Too bad this voyage is going to end in disaster very soon." Luffy sighed.  
  
"What do you mean?" Mary asked.  
  
"We're getting sucked into a giant whirlpool as we speak."  
  
"Oh no!"  
  
"Maybe I was a little careless...Hey! Can you help me get out of this?"  
  
"I think I can!!" Mary then commanded for the whirlpool to stop and it did! Mary had such incredible powers!  
  
"WOW!!" Luffy looked around at his surrondings in awe.  
  
"I think I have super powers since I'm in this anime world!"  
  
"Ani-what?"  
  
Later....  
  
A pink haired boy with glasses rolled two barrels into a hut inhabited by his fellow crewmates.  
  
"What's that, Koby? Did those barrels of rum wash up on the beach!?" One of the pirates asked.  
  
"Y-yeah. And they're not empty! I wasn't sure what to do with them..." Koby replied.  
  
"Well I know what to do with them! Let's drink it all up!" Another pirate said.  
  
"But if the captain finds out...she'll have our heads!" The third blurted out.  
  
"She'll never find out. We're the only ones here. Just Koby and the three of us know about this."  
  
"I guess you're right."  
  
"And you ain't seen nothin', right, Koby?" The pirate lifted his hand to smack Koby.  
  
"R-right! I-I ain't seen nothin'! Heh heh heh...please don't hit me...." Koby assured them.  
  
Suddenly the barrels broke open.  
  
"See? Wasn't it fun to just randomly get into a barrel?" Mary asked the rubber boy.  
  
"Yeah! That was a great nap!!" Luffy shouted.  
  
"What the devil?" The pirates were surprised to see such a beautiful woman come out of the barrel. They all stared at her.  
  
"What?" Mary was puzzled.  
  
"I want to go out with you, baby!" One said.  
  
"Me too!" Another cried.  
  
"For some reason, I want to too!" Luffy cried out.  
  
They all turned and glared at him.  
  
"WHO ARE YOU!?" They said in unison.  
  
"Who are you guys?"  
  
"You better not be dating that fine girl!"  
  
"Wow! I am so likeable here!" Mary said in her annoying tone of voice.  
  
Suddenly a mace flew through the hut. "GET BACK TO WORK, YOU SCURVY DOGS!" A rough female's voice shrieked.  
  
Mary and Luffy got into their barrels and rolled away into the woods.  
  
Later....  
  
Koby peered down at the two people in the barrels.  
  
"Um...are you okay? Are you hurt?" He was more focused on Mary.  
  
"I'm fine." Mary said.  
  
"I'm so glad! Heh, Y-you are the most beautiful girl I've ever met!"  
  
"Thank you so much!" Mary began to giggle once again.  
  
"She's pretty and for some reason I want to forget my dream and just marry her!!" Luffy said.  
  
"Yeah..."  
  
Luffy and Koby looked at eachother and wondered what the hell was going on here.  
  
To be continued, baby.  
  
Ofcourse, I copied a lot of things right from OP vol. 1. ^_^; lol 


	2. There's something about Marythat makes m...

I forgot to mention in Ch. 1 that OP doesn't belong to me. ^^;; I tend to forget disclaimers. Also, Shiru-chan, I wish I could write a Naruto version but I just recently got into the fandom. I might write it someday but not now. ^^;;  
  
"So you work for Lady Alvida, right?" Mary asked.  
  
"Uh, yeah, how did you know?" Koby was surprised that Mary knew such a thing!  
  
"You even made a boat to try to escape the island!"  
  
"H-how did you..."  
  
"Because I am the biggest One Piece fan ever!!"  
  
"I'm a fan of the One Piece too!!" Luffy yelled.  
  
"Anyway, I don't have the courage to leave. I guess it's fate to be a cabin boy for the rest of my life. But I once had a dream."  
  
"Why don't you just escape!?!?" Mary inquired.  
  
Koby began to shake his head repeatedly. "N-no way! Just thinking about what Alvida would do to me if she caught me makes my bladder weak....I just can't risk it...."  
  
"Even for me?" Mary batted her eye lashes.  
  
"We-ell, actually, for you I'll do anything!"  
  
"Good! It's settled! You're coming with us, Koby!" Mary said.  
  
"Yay! I got a new crewmember!" Luffy cheered.  
  
"I...I'm going to leave Alvida and start a new life with Mary...." Koby sighed dreamily.  
  
"LEAVE WHO!?" Alvida shouted and slammed her mace on the ground near Koby.  
  
"Ahhhh!!!" Koby fell down. Mary gasped.  
  
"You little sneak! Did you really think you could escape from me!?!"  
  
"Hey! Leave Koby alone!" Mary cried out.  
  
"Is that the bounty hunter you hired?" Alvida turned to her cabin boy. "She certainly isn't Roronoa Zoro!"  
  
"ZORO? WHERE? I thought he didn't come out til the next chapter!!" Mary shrieked like the rabid fangirl she was.  
  
"SHUT UP!" Alvida tried to club her but Mary jumped out of harm's way.  
  
"Got to be quicker, old hag!"  
  
"OLD HAG!?!?" Alvida began to run after Mary, trying to strike at her with the iron mace but the girl just kept avoiding it somehow.  
  
Then Mary punched the lady pirate so hard, she fell to the ground.  
  
"Now I want the rest of you to get Koby a dinghy! He's gonna join the Navy!" Mary commanded Alvida's crew.  
  
"Yes, madam!" They all answered.  
  
"M-Mary...wait a minute...how did you know that-"  
  
"It's best not to question stuff!!" Luffy laughed.  
  
Even though Mary and Luffy already had a boat, they still got on the new one.  
  
"I'm so glad to have left those pirates." Koby said to Mary.  
  
"I'm going after the One Piece!" Luffy proclaimed.  
  
"Being with you, Mary, is such a treat."  
  
"Oh Koby! Stop it!" Her cheeks turned a light pink color.  
  
"So I have to enter the Grand Line!" Luffy said with excitement.  
  
"Aha, that's nice, Luffy...anyway, your eyes are so sparkly and pretty, Mary!"  
  
"Koby, stop it! I am totally blushing!"  
  
Luffy grunted. For the first time in years, he grew increasingly angry. "That's why I have to assemble a super-crew...."  
  
"LOOK! LET'S GO PICK ZORO NOW!!" Mary cried out.  
  
"Roronoa Zoro? No no no! The guy is a demon! Don't go near him!" Koby warned.  
  
"Oh be quiet, Koby! Zoro is a great guy!"  
  
She charmed Luffy and Koby into paddling to the land.  
  
Soon they arrived at the Naval Base town.  
  
"We're finally here!" Luffy said happily.  
  
"Hurry! Let's find Zoro! Then he can join you, Luffy!" Mary grabbed Luffy and dragged him around the town.  
  
They arrived at the Navy Base.  
  
"It looks so big up close!" Luffy said.  
  
"Okay, as soon as we get Zoro to come along, I will go on a date with him....but I wish Sanji was here...he's the one I love m-" Mary then began to think about it. "HOLD ON A SEC! We could go get Sanji first because...HE IS HOTTER!!!!"  
  
Luffy was baffled at what she had just said. "Sanji? Who's that?"  
  
"Yeah, I-I've never heard of that person." Koby said, just as confused as Luffy.  
  
"Come on! Let's go!" Mary nabbed the two boys and dashed to their boat.  
  
Days later....  
  
Mary jumped off the boat. She couldn't wait to snatch Sanji away and keep him for herself. She figured that they could "coincidentally" avoid finding Nami, so Sanji could only have eyes for her. The three entered the Baratie.  
  
"SANJI! COME OUT! NOW!" Mary shouted.  
  
The people in the restaurant paused and stared at the crazed fangirl.  
  
Sanji came out, as soon as he saw her....his hormones went wild.  
  
"Hel-" Sanji began but then Mary hit him over the head with a frying pan.  
  
"Let's get him to the ship!" Mary said.  
  
"But we never got to ask him if he wanted to join or not!" Luffy whined.  
  
"He...he probably would have agreed! I'm just shortening the process!" Mary replied.  
  
"HEY! Where are you taking my chef!?" Zeff asked, his tone furious.  
  
"Shut up, old man!" Mary then kicked Zeff's leg.  
  
"ARGH!"  
  
"RUN!" Mary cried out.  
  
Luffy and Koby carried the blonde chef and jumped into their row boat. Mary followed. They paddled away as fast as they could.  
  
"I...I feel like a dirty criminal! What have we done!?" Koby sobbed.  
  
"Oh well! As long as I got a crew mate....I guess......" Luffy was actually stressing out!  
  
"Ah, Sanji, you are the hottest guy ever!" Mary said and stroked his hair.  
  
Sanji began to wake up. Hearts formed in his eyes.  
  
"Wow! I'm being taken care of by such a lovely woman!" He sighed, loving the attention.  
  
"Aishiteru, Sanji-kun." Mary said with a cheap Japanese accent.  
  
Luffy rolled his eyes....it seemed that Mary was the new main character of this series and not him.  
  
2 B Continued.... 


	3. Something must be doneRevised

Meanwhile in Japan...  
  
Eiichiro Oda is walking to pick up volume one of One Piece off the newstand and admire his work. His eyes widened when he noticed the story getting messed right on the page when Luffy had just left his hometown. Suddenly the book burst into flames!  
  
"What the...." He then frantically ran home.  
  
Inside the One Piece world....  
  
Sanji somehow cooked a three course meal for Mary on the little rowboat they were on.  
  
"For you, love." Sanji kissed her hand tenderly.  
  
Mary giggled. "Thank you so much, Sanji!"  
  
Luffy twirled his straw hat on his finger while Koby sighed sadly for not being able to go to the Navy.  
  
"Mary-san, you really are the most beautiful woman I have ever had the pleasure of laying my...eye on." He grinned.  
  
Mary began to giggle uncontrollably. "Well, darling, you are even sexier than all the boys on Gundam Wing!"  
  
"I have no idea what Gungan Wing is but that must be good!!" Sanji exclaimed.  
  
"Gundam Wing." Mary corrected, wagging a finger at the chef.  
  
She then spotted the island Zoro was located at.  
  
"LAND HO!!!" Luffy shouted.  
  
"Hey! That's insulting to the land!" Mary said.  
  
"Um, but, everyone says that!"  
  
"Still, say something else!"  
  
"Land...here?"  
  
"Perfect!"  
  
They got to the Navy Base to rescue Zoro when they couldn't even find him!  
  
Captain Morgan's son Helmeppo walked up to the group.  
  
"Hey, where is Roronoa Zoro!?" Mary demanded.  
  
"We executed him a few weeks ago. I tricked him into thinking he would stay alive for a month! Isn't that hilarious?" Helmeppo retorted.  
  
Luffy and Koby glared at Mary.  
  
"OH NO! ZOOOOOORRRRROOOOO!!!!" Mary screamed, tears flowing freely down her cheek.  
  
"Screw that Zoro guy...You have me now, Mary-san!" Sanji said, putting a comforting arm around her.  
  
"Stop it, Sanji-kun!" She then smacked his arm away. "I...I want Zoro... He's the love of my life."  
  
The cook scoffed. "Hmpf. I hate that stupid Zoro guy."  
  
"Oh, Zoro...Why....Why...?"  
  
"Hey, baby, you can always be with me." Helmeppo said. "I am the most beautiful man in these parts."  
  
"YUCK!" Mary punched Helmeppo in the face.  
  
Everyone else clapped at Mary's stupid but brave act.  
  
"I...I wish Zoro was back with me..."  
  
Suddenly the ground from under Mary began to quake frantically. The green haired beauty jumped away from it. Then a hand shot up from the dirt.  
  
"Wow!" Luffy cried out.  
  
Then Zoro jumped up from the ground, covered in filth and a worm dangling from his shoulder.  
  
"Zoro!" Mary then glomped the swordsman.  
  
"What the-!!" Zoro was deeply confused as to who this insane girl was, yet he was comfortable in her holding him.  
  
"Zoro-chan, kawaii no genki desu ka? Konnichiwa soto kaizoku kaze wa setsu ka?" Mary babbled.  
  
"Huh? What is that gibberish?" Koby asked.  
  
"It's Fangirlnese!" Giggled Mary.  
  
"It sounds cool!" Luffy shouted.  
  
Captain Morgan and his Naval crew appeared.  
  
"Why is that man still alive? Who the hell are you people!?" Morgan inquired.  
  
"I'm Straw Hat-"  
  
Mary cut Luffy off. "I'm Insane Fangirl Mary Sue. Captain of this pirate crew."  
  
"But I'm captain!" Luffy protested.  
  
"Shut up!"  
  
Luffy sat down, pouting.  
  
"You have incredible powers, Mary Sue. I bet you ate the Devil Fruit." Morgan scowled.  
  
"...The secret treasure from those seas!!?" An officer exclaimed.  
  
"So that's her power...?" Another wondered.  
  
"Like no way! I just read way too many manga and fanfiction."  
  
"Hey, Steel mouth, if you want to hurt Mary-san, you'll have to get through me!" Sanji shouted, taking a long puff of smoke.  
  
"No. He'll have to get through me." Zoro said to Sanji.  
  
"No, you stupid Cabbage Head, I'm going to protect her."  
  
"You don't seem like you can do much."  
  
"I'll kick your scrawny ass right now!"  
  
"Bring it on!"  
  
"Guys! This is my fight! Let me fight it!" Mary interrupted.  
  
"Anything for Mary-san!!" Sanji proclaimed, heart eyed.  
  
"Fine. Be careful, sweetheart." Zoro said, which seemed very...unlike him.  
  
"Wow! Roronoa Zoro isn't tough after all." Koby said. Zoro glared at him, which made him cower.  
  
"GET HER!!" Captain Morgan ordered his men.  
  
They charged at Mary. Yet her cuteness, made them weak at the knees.  
  
"Oh god! I want her!!" One Marine moaned.  
  
"Me too!!" Another groaned.  
  
"HEAR ME! All you cowards who were pining for the Sue just now...Will shoot yourselves in the head!" Axe Hand Morgan commanded. "I will not tolerate anyone wanting that girl over me."  
  
"Something's wrong with those Naval Marines!!" Zoro blurted out.  
  
"Hey, Guys, on my order, shoot Captain Morgan!" Mary ordered.  
  
"WHAT!?" Morgan was shocked.  
  
"Hold it!" A voice shouted.  
  
"Huh??" Everyone said in unison.  
  
A mangafied Oda-san walked out to them.  
  
"Our creator!" Luffy cried out.  
  
All the characters, even Captain Morgan, bowed down to the famed manga artist.  
  
"Hello, characters of mine. I found out that Mary has distorted my manga world!" Oda then turned to the green haired girl. "Why?"  
  
"I...I don't like my life! I hate it! So I decided to mess up...I mean improve the One Piece world. I'm so sorry." Mary bowed her head. "Gome...Gomenisia."  
  
"Gomenasai!!!" Oda corrected her.  
  
"I guess...I will....go....now....."  
  
"Yeah, I have to fix this manga all over again! I mean, Zoro and Sanji aren't together in this volume. And Sanji wants Nami, not Mary."  
  
"Nami!? Who's that!? Is she beautiful!! Oh, I think I'll worship the ground she walks on. Ohhhh Naaaaammmmmiiiiii-sssaaaannnnn!!" Sanji then swooned.  
  
"What a nut case." Zoro grunted.  
  
"Now, be gone!" Oda said to Mary.  
  
A portal then opened up and sucked Mary back into her world.  
  
"Damn. You messed things up bad!" The fairy said.  
  
"B-but..."  
  
"You'll never make another wish in this town again!"  
  
The fairy disappeared.  
  
Mary went over to her bed and hugged her pillow. A single tear drop cascaded down her cheek.  
  
The End 


End file.

One Piece, Humor, Parody