One Piece 1. 1 A very Soapy Decision

Disclaimer: I still don't own One Piece, and most likely never will.

Nami frowned, thinking about the situation carefully. Above her, their new ships wooden walls seemed to shine, the Thousand Sunny already comfortable and familiar feeling. She crossed her legs, lying across two chairs, as she stared at the devil fruit in front of her. For on the table, was the Awa awa no mi, the same soap-powered fruit Kalifa had consumed before their battle.

A shiny new Nami: Part one- A very Soapy Decision

During the battle with CP9, Kalifa had thrown up the devil fruit after her defeat at the hands of Nami. The thief had quickly retrieved it, and continued with the battle, busy with the keys and all of that. It wasn't until later, during the days of recovery at Water Seven, that she had checked some books and figured out what had happened. Apparently, if a devil fruit user's body was beaten badly within hours of consuming the fruit, it can occasionally reject the body and come flying out, fully whole. She didn't quite understand how that was possible, but then she didn't understand how anything to do with devil fruits was possible. Regardless, she now had a devil fruit. The question was, what to do with it?

The immediate, obvious answer was to sell it; devil fruits sold for staggering sums on the black market, and Nami could already picture what to do with that kind of dough. But a thought had just occurred to her: if one of her fellow Strawhat's were to eat this thing, their fighting force would increase, upping her chances of staying alive. That also sounded good. Let's see... Luffy, Chopper, and Robin were out of the question, being devil freaks already. Usopp could always do with another power...

A brief mental image of Usopp performing the 'Golden Hour' attack flashed into Nami's mind, stroking his body across someone else's lavishly.

So, who could she give this fruit to? Let's see... Luffy, Chopper, and Robin were out of the question, being devil freaks already. Franky probably couldn't use it, considering he was only able to drink cola and was already reasonable powerful. Sanji would most likely enjoy it, but it was at complete odds to his fighting style... She recalled kicks blowing the soap right off of her, nullifying its worth as a power. Besides, that power would be used for more than fighting if loverboy had it, she was sure. Zorro was already immensely strong, and kinda scared Nami a little (if she was being completely honest here). She doubted he would want it, anyways. But if he didn't have it, then that left only... Luffy. Yep. If anyone could eat two devil fruits and survive, it was him, she decided.

Who was she kidding? If anyone could benefit from this power, it was her. It even complimented her control of water and fighting strategy (paralyze someone and head for the hills). But she didn't wanna be a devil fruit user...

Nami sighed, frustrated. She went outside, hit Luffy on the head, and got Sanji to give her something tasty. Back inside, she felt a little better. Think girl, think! Selling it seemed wrong, considering how few devil fruits they encountered. True. She went through her options again, wishing she didn't have to eat the thing. It wasn't the taste (although they were meant to taste awful), or becoming a hammer (bad, but not terrible). No, it was more the social stigma that came with being a devil fruit user. Suddenly, she'd be a freak! Her bounty would increase, and she would be expected to do more in fights... Nami cringed a little at that thought. But she would always have perfect skin... That thought made her perk up a little. She stared at the blue fruit, kneeling from the ground, her eyes just above the table line. It seemed to be mocking her, as she steeled herself to eat the thing. Maybe she should go get Sanji to cook it, and improve the taste! Yes, that seemed rational, and not in the least like a delaying tactic. She nodded. At which point the boat rocked, a massive sea beast attacking above them or something similar. Nami panicked, lunging for the fruit as it began to roll off the table, knocking into a glass. A plate and some cutlery from her last meal clashed onto the ground next to her, as she landed, mouth up.

Gulp!

Up on deck, Luffy, Zorro and Sanji were all arguing over who got to attack the multi-headed sea serpent in front of them, while Robin and Franky held it in place.

"Let me handle it!" declared Nami, leaping in front of them all. She held her hand forward, towards the beast, ready, when... nothing happened. Ack! How do you use your ability!? Do they just think about using it, or what? While deciding what to do, the beast casually knocked her aside, throwing her into the water, and everything went black.

***

Nami opened her eyes wearily, realizing she was below deck, in a bed. What appeared to be the whole crew were gathered around her, as Chopper tried to give her some air. She struggled to follow the yelling and general chaos that the crew caused, before Robin helped and cleared the room with several dozen hands.

"You'll be okay." Chopper reassured her. "But you should have told us you had a Devil fruit!" He admonished.

"How did you guys know to help me out of the water?" Nami asked, confused.

"Sanji jumped in, hoping to impress you." Nami sighed, happy he was so chivalrous for once.

"There's been some, um, complications, however..." Chopper started.

"What!? Tell me!" Nami sat up, head woozy.

"Well, it's hard to say what caused it. It could be because the Devil Fruit's been regurgitated, or because you nearly drowned straight after, or even that the fruit itself was wet when you ate it..."

"Caused what?" She shook Chopper violently.

"Well, you can't control your power properly. It might not work, at least at first..." He pointed meekly with one hoof, as Nami realized one of her legs was shiny and simplified.

"Oh..." She hadn't realized the power could still affect her like that...

Robin smiled. "Well, this'll certainly be interesting, won't it Miss Navigator?" Nami smiled weakly, remembering her old nickname.

"That's one way of putting it..."

A/N: Well, that's one part down. This'll probably be a small series, although that might change depending on reader reactions I get. Let me know if you have any comments or criticisms~


	2. 2 Getting to know your own limits

Disclaimer: Amazingly enough, someone writing fanfiction doesn't own a major franchise to put their ideas in… I don't own any part of the One Piece series, or it's characters, etc.

"Soap?" Zorro raised a green eyebrow quizzically at her.

"Yes, Soap! It can wipe away all of your energy, and leave you helpless!" Nami stood her ground, trying to convince her crewmate of her power.

"...with soap."

"Dammit, one of the CP9 had this power! Sanji, tell her what it did to you." She looked towards the pretty-boy chef for help.

"Um well... she mostly kicked me." He frowned, trying to recall the specifics of the match.

"Did you notice anything other than her cleavage?" Cried Nami, exasperated.

"Well... she did use a giant wave of bubbles at the end of it, and I couldn't move. My skin went all slippery..."

"Yes! That was it!"

"...But that didn't last very long. Ah, sorry Nami-chan!" Sanji quickly back-tracked, seeing the look on her face. "Maybe it'll be easier if you just show us, yeah?"

Right... How did she do that again?

A shiny new Nami: Part two- Getting to know your own limits

Okay... Nami slowed her breathing, trying to figure out her new power. Most of the crew were gathered in the ship's bridge, the tables cleared to the side to create an impromptu fighting space. As skeptical as Zorro was, she really wanted to show him first hand how powerful this fruit could be. Now, concentrate...

"Alright, go to attack me."

"If you say so." Zorro grunted, lifting up one of his swords. Nami had no idea which one this was, but the hilt was the more ornate of the two, she supposed. He turned his body away; in a preparing pose... then, he sliced! The sword stopped less than an inch away from her neck, as nothing had happened to block it.

"Was I supposed to keep on going?"

"N-n-no... that was good. Try again!" She yelled, trying to cover her panic.

"Alright, geez..." He sighed, beginning to think this was a waste of time. Zorro slashed again...

The sword bouncing away, a giant bar of soap blocking the attack! Yes! Cried Nami inside, happy to get it right. Zorro frowned, cutting again, to no effect. He tensed, putting more force into his blade, spinning his whole body into it, as his sword nicked the side of the soap.

"This is pretty tough..." He muttered, a compliment by the swordsman's standards. Nami jumped up and down for joy, as she dissolved the soap around her.

"How's that for a defensive move?"

"Good move!" Usopp gave her the thumbs up, wondering if she could protect him with it.

"Excellent, Nami-san!" Declared Sanji, as he spun around.

"Tasty lookin'..." Luffy smiled. "Can you do any shape?"

"What do you mean?" Nami was puzzled. Would he even eat soap?

"There's a little orange on the front. Can you do one with meat?" Nami was shocked- she hadn't realized she had done that. She briefly recalled seeing the words 'CP9' embedded on the defensive bar Kalifa had used, and decided that it must be an unconscious thing. Oranges…

"I don't think so, Luffy."

"Aw man!" He strode off, grabbing some meat in the kitchen. He really did have a one-track mind...

"It's not worth all that fuss. I reckon one of my real moves would break that thing. Care to give me another shot at it?" Zorro grinned, his face scaring Nami a little.

"It's not a challenge here! Let me practice my other moves first." She admonished. Nami then concentrated, gathering the bubbles around her to try and make the sheep she had seen Kalifa use.

She could almost feel the bubbles, but that was the wrong word... she had to try and gather them, but make them at the same time. She concentrated harder, as bubbles flew all over the room. Usopp and Sanji coughed, as they tried not to breathe in the stuff, as Nami panicked and flew them all towards her. The bubbles compacted, creating the signature sheep she had seen. Kalifa had done this to strengthen and concentrate the soap, she remembered... Now, to fire them at Zorro. The navigator's arms flew forward, as the bubbles rushed towards Zorro, crashing against the wooden walls around.

Zorro stifled a cry, as he was suddenly on the ground, unable to move.

"Dammit... what the heck did you do?"

"The soap cleans away power too." She stuck her tongue out at him cutely, ready to fire this move on everyone.

"Argh...." Zorro grunted, as he struggled. He laid motionless for a full two minutes, before leaping up, panting with the effort.

"Wow, Marrimo's not so tough after all, is he?" Sanji laughed, before Zorro swung at him. Usopp and Nami laughed as well, even though Nami was worried on the inside. That's a lot faster then it took me to break out... He is tough, she thought.

Robin smiled from the side of the hallway, curious.

"Is that a logia type fruit, or paramecia?"

"Hmm. Paramecia, I can't become soap, just create and control it. So far, at least."

"Then we're the same." Robin smiled gracefully again, in that way of hers.

Nami liked the sound of that. Yeah... The same.

***

Nami slid again, hitting the floor. Hard. After impressing the others so much, and surprising herself with how easy it was to control a devil fruit, she'd actually begun to think things would be okay... Sigh. Chopper hadn't been kidding about how unstable this fruit might be... she looked down to see her entire body shiny and smooth again, sapped of energy. It was as if Kalifa had used the 'Golden Awa" attack again, simplifying her body to the point it was near impossible to stand.

She frowned, pushing her hand down to get up, and sliding back on to the floor. Fortunately, she had been alone in her room when the change occurred, to save her from embarrassment. She got up more slowly, making sure she didn't rest too much of her weight on any one side of her body, and went over to the sink. After fumbling with the tap, she managed to wet her hand... to no affect.

"Huh!?" She quickly splashed more water on herself, before finding out a very inconvenient fact about her stolen powers- water would not revert her body back to normal. Well, it was her power now, maybe just recalling the soap would do it? Except it seemed to be broken, as that didn't work either. Nami caught sight of herself in the mirror, and sighed. Not only was her body cartoonish, the soap reduced her curves to nothing. She was proud of those dammit!

Nami hugged herself, wondering when the transformation would end. Chopper had said it was temperamental, but had made it sound like it might go and appear at random times... that meant it would leave soon, right? As she thought, she noticed something- where she had hugged herself had left a small indent in her side. Intrigued, she ran her hands across her waist, pressing harder.

As she did, her waist shrunk, as if being sculpted. Nami laughed, rubbing her hands across her bust next, watching as her cups size doubled. She continued toying like this for a while, exaggerating and shrinking whatever she felt like, and even squeezing her hair longer, until it reached below her waist. This could be helpful... she thought about the possibilities, and how easily she could show up any other girl. Depending on how limited it was, she could disguise herself as anyone else! It spoke wonders about her character that the disguise idea had come second.

At which point, her body popped back to its normal, solid form. Nami jumped backwards, suddenly realizing what she had last changed- her breast size was ridiculously large, even when compared to normal, and her waist was tiny. Her thighs and bottom had been exaggerated as well, in a way that was beyond normal genetics. She felt embarrassed, as her clothes began stretching, almost -but not quite- covering the important parts.

"Dinners up!" Yelled Sanji, hoping to impress his Nami with the feast prepared tonight.

"I'll be a minute!" Yelled Nami, starting to panic. She repeatedly soaked her room in soap, unable to figure out what kind of soap she needed to change her own body.

"Everything alright?" Called Franky, sent to check on her. "Your grub's gonna get cold..."

"I'll be fine, don't wait for me!"

"Well... they didn't. You know Luffy and food, after all, and no one felt like disobeying him, heh..."

"Gee, aren't they good to me..." muttered Nami.

"What was that?"

"Um, nothing! I'll be out in a minute!" Dammit, she had to get the hang of this sooner or later...

***

Dawn was breaking over the horizon, when a weary Nami headed out to grab some breakfast. She had overcompensated, and was now near-flat chested, but otherwise back to normal. The only one up was Luffy anyway, munching on a bone of ham as he watched the window.

"I think we're gonna see some land soon!" He said joyously.

"Really? You saw an island?"

"Nope." Nami sighed, and made some cereal.

"So, can you really turn into a sheep?"

"What...? No, of course not. That'd be a sheep fruit, right?"

"But Usopp said~!"

"No, I made the soap the shape of a sheep, to help concentrate it." She was too tired for this... Luffy could be exhausting sometimes.

"Can't believe Usopp lied to me." Luffy folded his arms across in annoyance.

"Really? That seems pretty normal to me." Nami laughed a little, realizing the irony of what he'd just said.

"So, can ya turn into anything else? Like, a soap monkey?" She went to correct him again, but couldn't be bothered.

"I don't see any reason not to. But why a monkey?"

"Monkeys are so cool!" Exclaimed Luffy, imitating a monkey as he did so. "Maybe I should find one for the crew..."

"What would we need a monkey for?"

"Duh! To be our musician!"

"That again...?" Nami smiled. She was actually feeling better after talking to him, despite her weariness.

"Hey, wonder if Franky knows any instruments..." Luffy muttered, heading to the cyborg's room purposely to find out. She briefly recalled the boy asking everyone who had joined about their musical talents- he was determined to get that musician, after all. Franky being new, she supposed he hadn't gotten around to it yet.

Nami's good mood was spoiled slightly, as Franky burst out of his room, rudely awakened by Luffy, who had gone into his room while he slept. He began to chase Luffy across the deck, Nami averting her eyes repeatedly in the hopes of not catching a view- Franky slept in the nude, apparently. Soon, Zorro and Sanji were awakened by the noise, both eager to hunt down the louder two above. Chopper joined in, assuming there was a game, completing the sudden racket around her. She face palmed, and decided to go back to bed for a while. For a moment there, she had actually thought she was having a moment…

A/N: I actually found an excuse to make Nami's breasts bigger... Eiichiro Oda would be proud...

A-hem. I think this may have turned out a little more perverted than planned... but it was still funny to write, and I'm sure no one minds too much. Next up, I'll start the Thriller Bark arc! How will Nami's new abilities change the outcome of the battles ahead? Dunno, haven't thought that far, really. But what I've got is good, promise! Huge thanks to everyone who reviewed and favorited, keep it coming~


	3. 3 A very unwelcome visit

Disclaimer: One Piece is owned by a cult of talented manga artists, all in hiding to prevent the outside world tainting their pure thoughts. Together, all of their efforts are published under the pseudonym "Eiichira Oda". I am not one of them T^T

Nami was reading a book, sunbathing on their still-new ship, when Zorro spotted it. Personally, Nami believed she deserved a rest, after trying to experiment with her powers and keep up her navigating demands. That left barely half of the day for relaxing, after all. Fortunately, she had only become soapy once more by accident in the last three days, which suggested it wouldn't happen too often. She had a theory that too much use of her powers created the backlash, which explained the sunbathing and relaxation she was up to right now.

After much experimentation, she had figured out her body had some kind of 'default'- meaning she could somehow restore the current shape of her body, including anything she had changed about herself while soapy, back to normal. She assumed all devil fruit users knew deep down what their bodies were meant to be, to prevent Luffy from springing out as a slinky in his sleep, or Robin from accidentally growing dozens of hands while distracted. Not that she understood it exactly, though.

Back in the present, Zorro was pulling up a barrel with a sign attached, clearly an offering to the sea gods.

"Wonder what it is?"

"Let's crack it open and find out!" She mentally facepalmed, but didn't bother stopping them. What harm could some extra supplies and sake bring?

A shiny new Nami: Part three- A very unwelcome visit

A whistling noise sounded as a flare shot up above them, triggered by opening the barrel.

"Is this someone's idea of a prank?" Nami was disappointed, as Usopp ranted about the possibility of a curse from the sea god, and was told of the ghost stories surrounding this part of the sea. Somehow, he had found a string of garlic and a cross, and was making warding noises around them. Funny, she hadn't seen either of those around here before...

A loud creaking noise announced the arrival of another boat, a majestically huge, abandoned ghost ship.

"Where the hell did that come from!?"

"Woooooah…"

"Wait, is that someone singing up there...?" Nami looked up, suddenly seeing a skeleton on top of the boat!

"Yohohohoho~" Could faintly be heard in the distance. So creepy...

"Lets check it out!" Luffy called, running to the edge of the boat. The skeleton had disappeared somewhere, so Nami felt a little braver.

"Wait up! There's usually treasure on this kind of ship..." She stepped forward, the urge for cash overriding her fear.

"I'm going too then, Nami-san!" Sanji exclaimed.

"Naturally." And so, the three of them climbed right up, going over to the nearby anchored ship.

Nami fought the urge to freeze, thinking of the opportunity of treasure, but there was none to be found. Up on the deck, it seemed deserted...

"Hello there."

"Argh! The skelton!" Nami flinched backwards, as it leaned towards her... was it going to do something? She barely took in the cracks around its face, it's razor-sharp sword and tattered clothes, afraid this moment would be her last...

"May I see your panties?" asked a polite voice.

"Hell no!" She punched the thing, pissed off. How dare he!

"Haha, cool! You can talk!" Luffy leaned on the side of the ship next to her, grinning.

"Indeed I can."

"Can you take dumps?" Surely he can think of a better question?! Sanji yelled at Luffy for the exact same thing, as the skeleton replied why yes he could. Surely he didn't have to answer that?!

"Isn't there something better to ask!" Sanji yelled, before they learned this skeleton was named Brook. Nami missed a detail or two, scared of a walking talking skeleton, and at the same time, curious about the afro... It was so thick and fluffy. She nearly asked him how he kept it like that. It reminded her a little of the afro Luffy had worn, the one that had made him stronger against the foxy pirates. Wait, had that actually worked? She had trouble telling.

Transfixed by his glorious hair as she was, she nearly missed the bombshell Luffy announced.

"Come join my crew!"

"WHAT?!" Nami and Sanji immediately announced their protests. Was he serious?

And so, somehow, Brook the skeleton was invited into the crew room for tea with them. Upon meeting Robin, his first question was:

"May I please see your panties?"

"Pervert!" Nami hit him again, hoping he got the message this time. He chatted jovially with the crew as they ate, making a complete mess of himself with the food, and generally fitting in with outlandish behaviour. Usopp was even more freaked out, upon seeing Brook in person, and continued to produce random anti-curse objects out of nowhere. Sanji's only visible reaction was to become even shorter and more easily aggressive, which Nami doubted some of the others even noticed. Somehow, Franky and Robin were barely fazed by the skeleton they were sharing food with.

Brook was quite strange, and Luffy kept insisting he had to join the crew. Nami's relief was tangible when he admitted he couldn't join, after all of the bizzre revelations he had made (he had no shadow! No reflection at all!). Brook hinted at some mysterious force that would surely kill them all, and that they shouldn't bother trying to rescue his shadow. This suited Nami fine, if she was being perfectly honest. She didn't think they needed to bother staying here for long at all.

Unfortunately, life didn't agree with her.

When the boat had stopped, she had joined Usopp and Chopper in exploring around for the cause, on a mini going merry. It was so cute, that she hadn't paid any attention to the waters, and had been sucked in through the fog, to the point they crashed into a moat. And so, she was stuck with the two of them on a strange island.

"What exactly is this place...?"

"Who cares, let's just get out." Replied Usopp nervously. There was something creepy about this island... A roar from behind confirmed her suspicions.

"It's a three headed dog!" Usopp immediately broke into a run, the result oif a lifetime's practice of being cowardly. Nami and Chopper weren't far behind, the giant beast snapping at their legs.

Wait, I have a devil fruit power now...

Nami gulped, spinning around to face the beast. She flung her arms out, paralysing soap stunning the beast.

"Yes, you did it!" Usopp cheered from behind a tree.

"Wait... look at the stitches where it was joined!" Chopper squealed, pointing at the dog.

"Huh?" Soap was leaking through those stitches! Ten seconds later, they were running for their lives again.

"Huff... huff..." They kneeled behind a fence, some distance away.

"I think... we lost it." Usopp grinned nervously.

"Great... I finally use my powers in battle, and they're useless." Nami rested her head on her knees.

"Relax, it still slowed it down." Usopp counted every second.

"Hello..." Ack! Nami flinched inwards, looking at a vampire-like man. It turned out he was named Hildon, and invited them to take a coach ride to some Dr Hogback's mansion. Nami didn't quite follow who he was, but Chopper seemed smitten with the doctor... I guess it's okay. But the island was so creepy! Shouldn't they just try to leave?

"What is that?" hissed Usopp, looking out the window.

"What?" Nami and chopper looked out, and immediately wished they hadn't. Trees were dancing, mushrooms whistled, and stitched up animals were talking casually. _Trees were dancing._ Nami rubber her eyes, moving them to see nothing. Wait, what?

"You guys saw that…?"

"Yep."

"A-huh."

"Coach!!!"

Hildon left to relay the message, and take them back to the beach so they could leave. However, he never came back. After ten minutes, there was nothing around them… that bastard had deserted them! Next time Nami saw him, he was gonna pay…

And so, they continued, walking through the island. They saw no more trees or animals acting strangely, but that didn't mean they weren't. As they passed a graveyard, they really should have known something would happen.

"Z-z-z-z zombies!!! Usopp fell backwards, barely avoiding an out stretched arm reaching from the ground. Nami and Chopper struggled, freaking out.

New power… please work… Nami sent soap in all directions, soaking the yard… but the soap drained out of the stitching from the zombies, stunning them for mere seconds.

"Crap!" She fell down, dozens of zombies grabbing her and pulling her down…

"Usopp fire star!" Flames hit the edge of the pack, sending them cowering.

"Quick, get out of here!" Nami was so relived, she could have touched Usopp! For a hi-five, maybe. If he continued to help her, in a few years time, she might have been able to even kiss him on the cheek, or stop hitting him. Not both though, obviously. I mean, just look at that nose.

The zombies turned out to be able to run extremely fast, disappointing the trio. And so, they made their way to Dr Hogback's mansion after all, seeking immediate shelter from the zombies.

A/N: Ack, sorry about the massive wait! I wanted to re-read the whole thriller bark arc, to get an idea of where I was going (and totally not spend all my time playing pokemon games). Good news is, I have this all planned out now, and updates should be somewhat more consistent. Poor Nami… I couldn't make the soap too powerful against zombies, or else the entire thing would change :P

Next up: The bathroom attack scene! How differently will this play out, when Nami has the field advantage?


	4. 4 Shower scenes are good for ratings

This is a perfectly normal disclaimer, stating I do not own One Piece, make money from it, or intend to, but now with added soap! =D

"We welcome you graciously to our home . . . ," intoned Cindry, the stitched up house-keeper of the mansion, as she threw plates at the trio.

"How is this gracious!" yelled Usopp, ducking from yet another plate, as Dr Hogback tried unsuccessfully to hold Cindry back. They'd only just made it to his mansion, and they were already under attack in such a bizarre manner . . . Nami idly wondered if it was too late to go back and greet the zombies.

A shiny new Nami: Part four- Shower scenes are good for ratings

After a somewhat uneventful trip, Nami, Usopp, and Chopper had made it to the famous Dr Hogback's Mansion. Chopper continued to swoon whenever his name was mentioned, but Nami had little idea what he practiced; only that he had disappeared years ago. He seemed a little odd, constantly rubbing his hands together and grinning, but he could hardly be worse than the zombies outside.

All the same, Nami decided to keep an eye on him . . . her beauty could drive men to do strange things. And he could have some money- this _was _a mansion after all.

Regardless, they were now safe from the zombies, waiting at the table as Hogback insisted they have something to eat.

"Psst, Nami," hissed Usopp. "What do you make of this guy? Can we trust him?"

"I don't know . . . Chopper thinks a lot of him, and we _are_ safe from the zombies here."

"Hmm . . . that's true, but I have a weird feeling. This place smells really foul!"

Nami frowned at that last exclamation from the sniper.  
"I can't smell anything- I think you've held onto that garlic for too long." Usopp tried tentatively removing the garlic necklace he'd been wearing the whole time, before deciding he needed it after all. Sighing, Nami looked up just in time to avoid a massive clump of spaghetti, which landed on the table in front of her.

"What the hell!" Cindry ignored her, slamming spaghetti on the table directly in front of everyone for diner, staining the cloth badly.

"Cindry-chan, couldn't you _try_ to give our guests a bowl or plate of some kind-" Hogback pleaded, before being interrupted by his own servant.

"Plates are evil. They should all be smashed." She merely glared at him, before throwing the rest of the spaghetti at his chair.

"But why no fork or spoon either . . . ," grumbled Usopp, proceeding to eat the spaghetti with his head sideways on the table. Chopper joined in, his hoofs uselessly pulling on the spaghetti strands. They were actually going to eat it!

"Um, thanks anyway for the food and shelter, Doctor." Nami addressed Hogback, hoping to find a little more about the man.

"It's no problem at all; it's been such an age since we had visitors." He looked up, eager to take his mind off the ruined dinner.

"I could imagine . . . If you don't mind me asking, why did you move to this deserted island? It can't be safe with all of the zombies around."

"That's exactly why, my dear. I must study the zombies, and understand them. Imagine, a world without death! Surely, that is the ultimate goal of all doctors?"

_Wow, someone seemed passionate all of a sudden. This gives me a bad feeling . . . _

"Wow, you're so dedicated! You really are a magnificent doctor, sir!" beamed Chopper, stars in his eyes.

"Now now, you seem like quite the medical researcher yourself, doctor Chopper."

"Oh, I'm really not pleased you said something so flattering," Chopper danced in his chair, hugging himself in complete contradiction to his words.

Nami sighed, as the conversation was smoothly steered to medical research, and the topic of the zombies barely brushed on. Well, maybe later then . . .

Gulping, Nami frowned at the shower. She really, _really_ wanted a shower, after the zombies had grabbed her and tried to pull her under the earth. Dirt and dust and grime . . . shivering, she stepped in. The reason for her fear was simple- she hadn't had a shower since becoming a devil fruit user- she'd simply used her powers to rub off any dirt over the last days.

The water was meant to weaken a DF user, and she didn't want that to happen at all. Beyond that, her new-found soap power reacted strangely, compared to other devil fruits. What if she was weakened further? No, she was being stupid . . . the shower ought to make her stronger, considering there would be soap all over her, right? Right?

It felt like so long since she'd just enjoyed a hot shower . . . She couldn't put it off any longer, she decided. Turning the tap, Nami sighed audibly when nothing strange happened. That was one worry gone . . .

"So, Nami," Usopp began. He was kneeling outside the door, keeping watch with Chopper.

"You're like a little kid, huh? Can't go the bathroom or have a shower by yourself in a strange place . . . ."

"This place gives me the creeps! Don't you think something's fishy about the island?" Nami defended herself.

"I guess, but aren't you being a little paranoid? Let's just wait for daylight and get out of here, I'm sure Luffy and the other's are hopeless without us."

"No, I definitely get the feeling that Hogback knows more about the island then he's letting on. Did you see his face when I asked him about the zombies?"

"Hey! Dr Hogback is a great man!" Obviously enough, Chopper refused to admit anything strange was up when talking about the doctor. Nami thought for a while, eyes closed against the water. It felt nice, but a little colder all of a sudden. Hang on-

Frowning, Nami realised the window was now open. Turning off the water regretfully, she was about to close it when cold hands pushed her against the wall. What the hell! Kicking out, Nami felt someone in front of her!

Outside, Usopp was teasing Chopper about a fart he had just pulled, completely oblivious to the muffled cries she was emitting. She struggled harder, panicking when the invisible pervert pushed away the soap bubbles covering her lady parts. The invisible hands moved even faster, as Nami realised soap bubbles had automatically retracted over to keep her privacy. The soap!

In her panic, she had completely forgotten about the power. Thinking frantically, a whirlwind of foam poured from the still-soapy shower, attacking the unseen man. The bubbles flooded the room again and again, Nami panicking and continuing the assault.

Gasping for air, Nami confronted the silhouette.

"Wh- who are you? Pervert!"

"Nami? Is something up?" Usopp and Chopper finally noticed something, too late to help.

"Stay out there! Some creep just tried to attack me!" Alarmed for her, they both came in to help, receiving a wash-bucket to the face.

"I'm still nude, jackass!" Nami roared, before facing her attacker again.

She barely looked up in time to see a man's figure leaving the window, bubbles leaking from stitches around his joints. Another zombie!

"Hey, get back here!" She made an attempt to fling more soap at him, but was too late, the figure fleeing quickly. What had happened?

Absalom ran as fast as he could, freaked out. Somehow, that girl had paralysed him for almost a minute! Panting, he pervertedly thought of her curves, disappointed. He hadn't been able to see anything he wouldn't see at the beach, thanks to that damn soap she was controlling. Was it some kind of power? No, that couldn't be it, he decided. Whoever heard of soap-based powers helping a pirate? The idea was just too silly.

Whatever it was, that decided his plans then. After encountering the other Strawhats on their boat, he had assumed the other girl was the strong one. Granted, she could still give him some trouble, but it wasn't like she was hiding her body with powers. That was just _mean_. Licking his lips, he decided he would have to find the dark-haired woman again, and capture her instead.

Nami blanched, looking down at her body. After all of the soap she had used attacking him (she had kind of gotten carried away, drenching the room several times over), her body had turned all slippery and cartoonish again. Damn it! She felt like punching Luffy or one of the guys in the head right about now; it was the only thing that helped her on bad days.

Sliding on the tiles a few times, she haltingly got dressed. While a skirt and boots wasn't so hard to get into, her bra was another matter. Looking at her hands- which had joined all of the fingers together leaving only the thumb on each hand normal- she had two options.

1. Call one of the others for help.

2. Don't wear a bra.

Seeing as Chopper had hooves, and Usopp had eyes, she was presented with one real option. She pulled her long-sleeve T over, feeling confident no one would notice. Her curves were smaller now anyway, thanks to the stupid soap. For quite possibly the first time in her life, Nami saw an advantage in _not_ having huge boobs.

Only a little advantage though, mind. If her boobs were to get any bigger, by anyone's influence outside her control, she wouldn't be complaining or anything. Even if the person who decided that was a perverted manga artist, and enjoyed drawing big boobs. Just saying.

And so, Nami left her bra inside the washroom, and joined the others outside. Usopp and Chopper were somewhat confused by the slippery effect on her skin, until she explained how it sapped away half of her strength. Then, instead of being confused, they laughed, the little ingrates. This was exactly why she hadn't told anyone about it- it was just embarrassing.

A short while later, they found themselves wandering around the mansion, 'lost' on the way back to their room. It sure was creepy . . . paintings with giant grins and carpets made from weird beasts filled the hallways. Nami was sure they'd find something, but wasn't sure what. Just as she was thinking there was nothing to hide (on this floor, anyway), they stumbled upon an odd room. Or shrine, to be more specific.

Dozens of pictures, photos, and clippings of Cindry the house-keeper filled the room. All of them showed her without the horrible scarring, and she was really quite beautiful- short, well-kept blonde hair, thin, model-like body . . . she was even wearing fancy gowns and dresses, far better than what was wearing now.

"Wow . . . look at this," breathed Nami, going through a photo album.

"Looks like she was a huge stage actress at one point." Commented Chopper, going through newspaper clippings.

"Then why is she stuck here as a servant to some doctor? What happened?" questioned Usopp, leaning against a wall unhelpfully.

"Victoria Cindry . . . says here she died ten years ago!" Nami sat up straighter, reading another newspaper clipping. What was going on?

"None of these mention plates, either," frowned Chopper.

"Wait- she died? But we just saw her!" Usopp started to sweat nervously.

"And she just happens to be alive on an island where the doctor studies zombies . . . ," Nami muttered, chills going down her spine. This had just gotten scarier . . .

A/N: Finally, the plot starts to seriously differ from the actual manga, with poor Robin being targeted by Absalom instead. I like this chapter much better than the last, hope they're not too OOC or anything. This is where I'd promise to update quickly again (and I do intend to), but being realistic . . . See you in 3 weeks T^T Thanks everyone who reviewed, you make me feel like dancin'~


	5. 5 Zombies in the closet

**Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece, I don't own its characters, I don't make any money from this story, and I don't own a laptop. That last one is somewhat unrelated, but boy oh boy would I like one.**

"So if Cindry died in an accident, she's a zombie?" Nami's legs shook just saying it.

"Then that means . . . all of the creatures out on the island- they're REAL zombies!" Usopp realised. Legs shaking, he made to sit down on a box, falling over in the process. Compared to the lavish room, filled with gilded portraits and heavy carpeting, the box stood out as strangely practical and utilitarian.

Eyeing the box with a crafty eye, Nami came to a realisation.

"Is that a strong box? For keeping treasure!" Hands clasped together, her eyes changed into dollar signs instantly.

"Her mood just reversed!" Chopper squealed in amazement, as Usopp sighed.

Nami immediately ordered Usopp to open it for her, eagerly awaiting gold, jewels, and subsequently the cash to buy some new clothes. It creaked open dramatically, to reveal . . .

A shiny new Nami: Part five- Zombies in the closet

"Blargh! This isn't the treasure box!" Screamed the giant zombie that flew out to meet them, terrifying the pirate trio. The jack-in-the-box zombie began laughing loudly, as they ran back out to the hallway, where they were attacked by portrait zombies that flew from the wall. Its loud laughter drew out other zombies, alerting them to Nami, Usopp and Chopper's presence, which was dealt with in their usual way- they ran.

Behind them, one zombie patiently followed their footsteps, continuing the chase where the portrait zombies could not. He was the only zombie that could go as he pleased in this mansion without fear, and one of the strongest.

"This won't be a problem . . . ," he chuckled, kimono drifting along with fluid ease. Had the crew heard him, his laugh would have struck a rather familiar note.

"I'll capture them with ease! Yohohoho~!"

At this point in time, the larger portion of the strawhat crew had realised something was amiss. They had begun exploring the island in search of the others, defeating any zombies they encountered with skill. Luffy was currently riding the cerebus that had attacked Nami earlier, having successfully tamed the lil' guy with a few punches.

Robin had sharply noticed that all of the zombies were stitched and bandaged in a similar manner, and held numbers tattooed on different parts of their body. This most likely meant they all shared common origins, although what that _was_ was anyone's guess.

As they were walking across the wooded path, they even encountered strange ghosts, which Luffy tried to capture as a pet. When his efforts proved futile, Franky was prompted to shoot a stream of fire at the beings.

"Negative . . . negative . . . negative . . . ," chanted the beings, laughing as Franky dived right through them.

"That didn't work either . . . I can't do anything right . . . ," moaned Franky to the ground.

"Quit clowning around," admonished Sanji, worried for his dear sweet lovely Nami, as always.

Luffy leaped at the ghost, stubbornly trying to capture the thing, before sinking to the ground.

"I suck at life . . . ," he mumbled, unmoving.

"I said quit it already!" Yelled Sanji, frustrated with their antics.

"Those ghosts seem to attack their spirits, making them depressed . . . ," mused Robin.

"Pfft," dismissed Zoro, "That's just because they have weak minds. They should be more rigorous with their training."

Moments after he said this, a dancing ghost passed through him, sending Zoro to the ground in despair.

"Maybe I should just kill myself . . . ," he moaned.

"QUIT IT!" Sanji was fed up with the interruption. Fortunately, the depressive effects wore off. If they hadn't, Robin remarked, those ghosts would be quite a potent enemy.

They continued their stroll through the forest, encountering an army of zombies pouring out of the graveyard nearby. Unfortunately, they were easy to beat, and provided no fun. Luffy was all stretchy and bam! knocking them around with ease, while Zoro and Sanji sliced and kicked the crap out of them respectively.

You really had to be there- Robin's hands were over them faster than a perverts hands on a hooker, and Franky was hardly a pushover, being a superhuman freak. Some would say calling the sole robot in the entire universe a freak was mean, although it was quite accurate. Some might simply say shut up to those first people, as they weren't the ones writing this fight scene. But we digress.

Oh, and an old man came out from behind a tree or something, and watched their fight. He was amazed, as some people would be after seeing the Strawhat crew, and told them about stuff. Something about his shadow missing, just like the awesome afro'd skeleton Brook's was, and a guy who stole shadows on the island; Luffy didn't really pay attention to the details.

Robin was shocked when she found out the name of the guy who stole shadows, though: Gecko Moria. She said he was a legendary shichibukai, with a bounty higher than Luffy's. That sounded like a challenge, he thought, cracking his knuckles in anticipation. And so, armed with more of an idea of what they were getting in to, they marched further into the island.

Meanwhile, Nami, Usopp, and Chopper looked nervously into Dr Hogback's underground lab, shaking at what they had just stumbled in on.

"Did he just…?" stammered Nami.

"Yeah, I think he did," confirmed Usopp.

"But… but that's impossible!" whispered Chopper. "You couldn't _make_ a zombie out of nothing!" For that is what they had seen. Stitching together someone's shadow, and a dead body, the rotund, grinning doctor had somehow brought to life a zombie he named Mario.

Strange vials and benches of curious things outlined the room, which the three of them were suddenly forced into. For behind them stood a zombie, known to the other zombies among the mansion as The Guardian.

"Oww… heh heh." Usopp rubbed his head where he had fallen, looking sheepishly towards Dr Hogback.

"That felt like flesh, but that voice . . . ," puzzled Nami, even as she shook in her boots (literally. She really wasn't wearing enough to keep out the cold, like usual).

"That voice sounds just like-!" Chopper tried to hide between the two of them.

"Yohohohohoho~" laughed a zombie that sounded exactly like Brook.

**A/N: About time… I had half of this done the day after the last part, and felt so confident… =.=. Hopefully, the pressure from my friends will keep my nose down to the ground, and I can pump out several parts for you very patient people. Please let me know what you think!**


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One Piece, Humor