Invader Zim 1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the cartoon "Invader Zim" or any characters from it. Seriously, why do we need disclaimers for FAN fictions?

"LIES, ALL LIES! I am normal," Zim shouted. The class stared at him. "No Zim, the correct answer was 'doomed'. This will go on your permanent record," Ms. Bitters hissed. Zim struck a triumphant pose and got down off his desk, which he had been standing on.

"Oh, come on!" Dib yelled before he could stop himself. "How can you guys not see Zim's an alien?!" Zim sat at his desk innocently, giving that look that cartoon characters give when a halo appears over their head. "Zim's not an alien, Dib," Rob said, spitting out the word 'Dib'. "Yeah Dib, need we remind you how he LIKES wearing pants?" Poonchy added. "No more talking!" Ms. Bitters commanded. "Dib," she continued, "that is the last outburst you were allowed for this year. One more and you will be transferred to the underground classroom. Understand?" "Yes ma'am," Dib answered as he continued glaring at Zim.

He glanced at the clock. Two minutes to dismissal. "Soon, Zim. Oh so soon. Today everyone will know what you really are," Dib whispered to himself. "Hey, Dib's talking to himself again," Zita said. The entire class burst out laughing and pointing, but Dib ignored them as the bell rang.

He dashed out of his seat and out to the front steps. He reached into the bushes and pulled out his Ghostbuster vacuum cleaner. Okay, so it was just a Dustbuster labeled that way so the catalog guys could make an extra buck, but that didn't diminish it's sucking power. "Once I suck off your disguise with this vacuum, the whole world will know you're really an alien and I'll be a hero for exposing you. Maybe I'll get congratulated by the president! Oh, hi Gaz! Wanna watch me expose Zim in front of all the kids?"

"Stop talking to yourself," came her reply as she walked home, never looking away from her Gameslave 2. "Okay, I'll tell you about it when I get home," Dib called after her. Gaz cringed at the thought of listening to Dib's rambling before disappearing around the corner.

Dib turned his attention to the approaching Zim and prepared to activate the vacuum. However, unseen by both, a small robot in a poorly made dog suit was flying through the air on his jets. Said robot also happened to be flying straight toward them at top speed. Right as Dib flipped the switch, Gir shot past. His costume flew off as his metal head connected with Zim's Irken skull.

"GIR! What are you..." Zim paused as he noticed Gir's disguise was gone. "WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR DISGUISE?!" he yelled.

Gir looked down at himself. "WOO HOO! I'm naked! I'm gonna do the naked dance!" The tiny SIR unit proceeded to stand on his head and flail his limbs wildly.

By now the kids had gathered and were staring at Gir, much to Zim's dismay. "What's wrong with Zim's dog?" Sara asked. Dib pounced at this opportunity. "That's no dog!" he shouted as he jumped from behind the bushes, holding up Gir's costume triumphantly. "That's his alien robot slave! Actual proof that Zim is an alien!"

The kids looked from Dib to Gir, then back to Dib. "Hey, that weird Dib kid stole that dog's skin!" The Letter M yelled. "Let's steal his skin and see how he likes it!" Chunk added. Dib's eyes bulged and he dropped the dog suit. He ran away screaming as the kids chased him.

Zim quickly put Gir in his suit right as Ms. Bitters came up behind him. "Zim, the Skool is closed. You are trespassing on government property. Security!!" "Zim goes where Zim pleases, and you-" Zim was cut off as a large guard grabbed him by the neck and beat him up, with Gir cheering the whole time.

-

Dib ran down an ally, dodging garbage and an angry cat, with the Skool-kids in hot pursuit. He came out on a busy street and spotted a taxi about to leave. "Take me anywhere!" he yelled as he leaped into the vehicle. The taxi lurched forward, and Dib watched the kids wave their arms angrily at him as he escaped.

"Hey there Little Man."

Dib spun away from the window as he realized someone else was in the taxi. Sitting next to him was none other than Bill.

"What the, Bill?"

"Nice to see you remember your old career councilor,"

"Yeah, how could I forget..." Dib replied bitterly. Bill didn't notice.

"So, uh, why are you riding a taxi?" Dib asked.

"Ever since we lost Cocofang, I've needed to travel like this so he won't recognize me."

"Riiiight."

"Anyway, I'm on a different case right now. Once we get to my office, I can show you more."

"Oh... great." Dib was starting to think he should of just let the kids catch him.

**A/N: Huh. That looked longer in Open Office... Oh well. Next chapter will be up tomorrow, so it's not a long wait. Review if you want to, but I don't need them. **


	2. Chapter 2

Zim marched down the street toward his base, covered in pink bruises, with Gir in tow. "Gir, why were you at Skool? You nearly blew our cover!" asked an irritated Zim, oblivious to the fact that Gir probably saved his identity. "Uhhhh, oh yeah! I had to tell you something!" Zim waited for Gir to continue, which he didn't. "Well?!" he prompted. "What was so important that you jeopardized the mission to tell me?!" "I... don't knooow, I forgot!" the robot chirped happily.

Zim growled audibly, but his expression softened slightly as his base rose on the horizon. His beautiful base, his home away from home, and a perfect example of a normal urban human dwelling, at least in Zim's mind. Truthfully, it's disguise was even more shoddy then his own, but no humans noticed, save for Dib and Gaz.

Zim opened the door and stepped inside, only to find himself sliding across the floor on his back, feet first straight into the wall.

"Oh yeeeaaahhh. Now I remember, I had to tell you we're out of dish soap!" Gir said as if nothing happened.

Zim popped his eye back into his head before stumbling to his feet, the soap burning his skin like most earth substances. "GIR! Clean this mess immediately!" "You can't make me! Okay!" Gir then began licking and sucking the floor clean.

As Zim rode down the toilet lift, the doorbell rang. "I'll get it!" Gir said to no one. He opened the door, revealing a UPS guy with a box. "Special delivery for-" he stopped when he saw Gir, still in costume, with suds filling his mouth. "MAD DOG!! MAD DOG!!" he screamed as he dropped the package and ran away screaming.

"Finally! It's here!" Gir squealed joyfully as he dragged the package inside.

-

The taxi stopped outside a rundown apartment building. "Follow me," Bill said as he stepped out of the taxi.

Dib started to follow, his glasses somehow halved in an irritated expression, when the taxi driver called out, "Hey kid, where do you think you're going! You gotta pay the fare!"

Dib turned around to face him. "Ten bucks," the driver said. "Hey Bill," Dib called, "You gonna pay this guy?" No answer. Dib glanced over his shoulder and saw that Bill was already inside the building.

He turned back to the driver, suddenly realizing how big the guy was. "Uh, I'm broke," Dib said nervously. The driver's expression grew angry surprisingly fast. "You're not broke yet," he snarled as he got out of the taxi. Dib forced a nervous half smile as the driver cast a shadow on him.

-

Bill opened the door to his apartment and started walking towards some equipment, when Dib suddenly smashed through the window and fell face first on the floor.

"Good idea, taking an alternate entrance so our enemies won't know we're working together. I like the way you think Little Man," Bill said, completely ignoring Dib's new black eye.

Dib rubbed his eye through his glasses as he stood up, and his good eye re-assumed the irritated half-eye expression.

Bill began to type on a keyboard. Some graphs appeared on the monitor. "These are some strange electromagnetic readings I picked up from outer space," Bill told him.

Dib glanced at the screen, barely humoring Bill. Then his eyes widened in shock, excitement, fear, and disbelief all at once.

"Bill, where were these recorded from?!"

"Just off the orbit of Jupiter. I have the coordinates if you want them."

"Is there any other data? Radiation readings? Gravity distortion? Images of the area?"

"All that and more. Its all here." Bill held out a CD. Dib took it eagerly.

"I figure if we both analyze this data, we'll be able to find out what caused these readings. I have a theory regarding a space ghost, but I need a comprehensive analysis to prove it."

Dib was barely listening. "I'll let you know if I find something," he muttered as he stared at the disk, clutched in his pointed fingers.

-

Zim stepped off the lift and walked to the computer screen. Today was a special day for Zim. Today the second annual progress reports were sent to all invaders, which included a time 'till conquest estimate for all of them. He hadn't received the first year's report because a certain robot dumped mayonnaise in the circuitry the day it was to arrive.

Zim was prepared to bask in the glory of his incredibly low time estimate and laugh at the pathetically high estimates of the other invaders. He checked the computer for any received files and found what he was looking for. He opened the list of time estimates, which were listed as shortest first.

As he peered at the on screen list, he realized someone else had stolen his top most position:

Invader Vihar, time 'till conquest: 2 years, 11 months, and 3 weeks ago.

"He conquered his planet in one week?!" Zim cried in disbelief.

Zim scowled, searching for his name on the list. After scrolling down a bit he still couldn't find it. "Computer, find my name on the list." The list began to scroll by itself, and stopped at the bottom. The last name read:

Invader Zim, time 'till conquest: never.

"How can this be?! My name can't be on the bottom! The Control Brain who compiled this list must have been malfunctioning," Zim stated, unwilling to consider that he failed. "I must inform the Almighty Tallest of this mistake, so they can terminate the Control Brain responsible. Computer! Establish a connection with the Massive."

Tallests Red and Purple appeared on the screen. Red was wearing a soda drink hat and shoving nachos into his mouth, while Purple sucked down a slushee and waved a small flag reading "Go Lizardons!"

Red looked at the new screen showing Zim. "Ugh, make it quick Zim, we're watching the Enslaved Species Survival Challenge," said Red.

"Yeah, the last Vort contestant just got eaten by a spider beast!" Purple added.

"Forgive the interruption My Tallest, but I need to report an error in this years time 'till conquest estimates. My name was on the bottom of the list, surly my progress and skills have earned me a better position. I demand that the Control Brain responsible me terminated at once to prevent future errors."

Red sighed. "Very well," he said, trying to satisfy Zim so he'd leave them alone.

Red floated over to an important looking button and pressed it. "There. The Control Brain is dead. Happy now?"

"Yes, very much so. But what of the list?"

"Sorry Zim, once they're sent out, there's no changing them. But don't worry, we'll make sure it's right next year," Red said with as much patience as he could.

"Thank you My Tallest. Invader Zim signing off!" The screen went dead.

Red turned to Purple. "How come you never help get rid of Zim? You didn't say anything to him just now." Purple shrugged in response.

"Uh... e-excuse me M-My Tallest, but you j-just pressed the s-snack pod self-destruct button," one of the bridge crew said shakily.

"WHAT?!" Purple exploded. "How could you?!" He pointed an accusing claw at Red.

"I didn't know!" Red said defensively. "Why do we even have a snack pod self-destruct button?" he asked the bridge member.

"You had it installed in case someone broke the pods open again, so no one could take anymore snacks from us."

Red was now furious, and he decided to take it out on the closest person possible. "Launch him into space!" he said, pointing at the bridge member. The Irken's eyes widened as a large tube dropped down from the ceiling and sucked him up, then spit him out into space.

Purple was crying by now. "Why must the innocent suffer!!" he cried.

Red floated over to him and placed a claw on his shoulder. "I feel your pain buddy, but those snacks will live on, in our hearts."

"Really?"

"Really."

Another screen activated, showing a shadowed figure. "What do you want?" Purple snapped.

**A/N: Thought I'd leave you guys with a bit of suspense with this one. What is on the disk that Dib is so interested in, and who contacted the Tallest, and why? The answers will be revealed on Monday. **


	3. Chapter 3

Zim turned away from the screen. "Computer, take me to the labs," he commanded. The floor opened beneath Zim, and he slid down the tube and landed in a chair. The chair wheeled itself over to the main screen. Zim tapped some symbols on the panel and camera feeds of his experiments appeared. He tapped another symbol and Irken text appeared over each image, displaying it's status.

Suddenly the entire room went dark, then the lights came back on. The screen lit up again, displaying the Irken emblem and a very slow load bar. "Computer, what just happened?" Zim growled.

"Power failure. The base's power stores are empty. We are now running off the city's power network,"

"Why wasn't I alerted to the low power stores?" Zim asked.

"You kept interrupting when I tried to tell you a week ago," the Computer replied.

"Fine, take me to the Voot bay, I'll have to collect more Plutonium from Pluto. I refuse to be limited by the human power network!"

"But you were with the Megadoomer," the Computer pointed out.

"Do not question me while I am ZIIIIIM!!!"

"But you're always Zim."

"SILENCE!! Just take me to the Voot bay!" Zim commanded. The section of floor Zim was standing on lifted up into the ceiling.

-

Dib wasted no time. He full out ran across the city, shortening a three hour walk to a thirty minute sprint. He needed to get to his laptop in his room and analyze this data. Not for space ghosts, but for something more dangerous. Something he'd run across before.

He finally reached his house and burst through the door. Professor Membrane and Gaz were sitting on the couch, Gaz playing her game and Membrane watching the credits of his show, 'Probing the Membrane of Science.'

"Hello son," Membrane said in his booming voice, "Why were you so late today? You missed the episode where I discovered the cure for the common cold!"

"Sorry Dad, I met up with Bill and he gave me some important data," Dib replied.

"Oh, him." Membrane's voice was disapproving. "Real scientific data? None of your paranormal nonsense?" he asked hopefully.

"Dad, paranormal study is a valid field of science!" Dib said defensively.

Membrane sighed. "Of course it is. Go analyze your data, son. I'm sure its important."

"It could be world saving, Dad!" Dib called as he ran upstairs.

"My poor, insane son," Membrane muttered as he changed he channel.

-

Dib entered his room and ran to his desk. He opened up his laptop and inserted the CD. The various files appeared on the screen. Radiation emissions, spectroscopic data, heat emissions, infrared readings, and mass estimations filled various graphs and readouts. He brought up another folder with similar files.

"Well, here goes."

He executed a program that compared the numerical data in each category side by side on a chart, the new files on the right and the previously recorded files on the left. The data in either column matched almost perfectly.

Dib felt his stomach tighten into a knot. He had taken the older readings from his "Battle of the Planets" with Zim. Gir may have got away with his cameras, but he had brought other equipment that had recorded technical and scientific data from the Mars and Mercury ships.

The object Bill found was Mars.

Dib had lost track of Mars when it flew out of the solar system. He knew for a fact that it didn't get caught in Jupiter's gravity well, which meant someone found it and brought it back. Maybe more Irkens.

"I've got to see this for myself. Maybe my high powered telescope can help me map out Mars' course and ETA," Dib pondered aloud.

He jumped out the window and slid down a pole into the backyard. But his telescope wasn't there. "That's odd," He scratched his head, puzzled. "How do you misplace a ten foot long, three hundred pound telescope?" He walked inside, trying to figure out where it could be. "Hey, Gaz!" he called from the living room doorway. Gaz was still on the couch, but Membrane was gone. "Have you seen my telescope?" he asked.

Gaz opened an eye to glare at him. "Yes," she answered, then she refocused on her game.

Dib tapped an impatient foot. "Well, where is it?"

Gaz shrugged. "Somewhere in Greenland. I sold it on the internet."

Dib's eyes widened. "What?! Why?!" he shouted, unable to say anything else.

Gaz waved her game in the air. "How else would I get the money for Doom Monkeys 4?" She resumed her game once again.

Dib's mouth hung open in disbelief. "How could you do that?!"

Gaz glared at him. "I do it all the time," she said as though it were common knowledge. "Looks like I finally took something you'd miss." She grinned to herself as she got up and went upstairs, shielding herself from more dumb questions.

Dib gritted his teeth and banged his head on the wall repeatedly, making strange noises as he did so.

"This is terrible!" he cried out once his episode was over. "There's no way to guard against something I can't see coming! Another telescope. I need to find another telescope!" He placed a finger on his chin and thought a moment. "Wait, I've got it!" He excitedly rushed out to Membrane's basement lab.

-

"Rest assured, once my plan is set in motion, the entire Irken Empire will benefit." The figure sat in a dark room, the only illumination coming from the screen displaying Tallests Red and Purple.

"Whatever you say pal. If you can pull this off, we can get you whatever you want! Snacks, armies, your own planet!" Red exclaimed.

"My own planet, eh?" the figure replied, amused.

"Yeah, we can do that, we're the Tallests!" Purple added.

"So you are," the figure responded. "You won't be disappointed. Signing off." The screen went dead, and once again the room was pitch black.

"Cyclops," the figure summoned. A single red eye lit up in the dark. "Initiate Phase One." The eye vanished, and a door could be heard opening and closing.

"My own planet-" The figure stroked Mars' navigation console. "-indeed."

**A/N: I'd like to think that this is shaping up to be pretty suspenseful. Hope you guys like it so far. Some feedback would be nice, but I'll keep this going regardless of reviews. Check back tomorrow or Wednesday for chapter four. **


	4. Chapter 4

"Absolutely not!" Membrane thundered.

"But Dad, its important!" Dib pleaded.

"Son, I can abide your nonsense as long as you keep it to yourself. If you want to study the paranormal, then you have to use your own equipment."

"But-"

"No buts. My telescopes are only to be used for real science. Now go and play with your sister, I'm very busy." Membrane shooed Dib from his basement lab. The lab door slammed shut behind Dib.

He sighed. "Okay, who else has a telescope I can use? There are no real observatories in the area, and I can't sneak into Dad's studio... that only leaves..." A chill ran down Dib's spine as realized there was only one option.

Zim's telescope.

-

Dib peered out from the bushes through his head set mounted binoculars. He was wearing his all black spy suit he had used when he scouted out Zim's crescent space station.

There was Zim's home base, with it's gaudy colors and sharp angles. He moved around the cul-de-sac, rolling between telephone poles and bushes, until he was on the outside of Zim's fence. He peeked around the corner into Zim's yard. The gnomes were pivoting back and forth on their bases, sweeping every inch of the yard. Dib could see, through his goggles, that their eyes were emitting infrared lasers. He watched for a minute, memorizing the pattern, then he jumped out and ran to the door when there was an opening. He rang the door bell, and moments later he was greeted by Zim's Robo Dad.

"I I I alreadddddy told yooooou. I don't wannnnnt what yoooour sellllllinnnng." The robot's speech synthesizer was clearly malfunctioning, although Dib wouldn't put it past Zim to have programmed it to talk like that. Dib quickly leapt into the room before the robot slammed the door on him. He got a surprise when he landed though.

When he touched down, he found himself sliding across the floor and colliding with the wall. Dib groaned and struggled to his feet. "What is this? Some kind of booby trap?" Dib asked. Then he smelled the peculiar lemon fragrance filling the room. "Wait, this is just dish soap."

"IT SURE IS!!"

Dib jumped and fell back to the floor. He rubbed his head and looked up into the bulging googly eyes of Gir's dog suit.

"Oh. It's just you, Gir," he said, annoyance edging his voice. He got up and asked, "Where's Zim?"

"Oh he's not here right now," Gir answered. "AH CAN TAKE A MESSEGE!!"

Dib scowled. "No thanks."

"Okey dokey. You wanna play with me?" Gir opened his chest compartment and pulled out a toy gun. "I JUST GOTS IT TODAY!!" The little robot scooped some kind of intake on the toy through the layer of soap on the floor. Then he pulled the gun's trigger. A flurry of bubbles floated out towards Dib, popping on contact with his clothes. "TAG!! YOU'RE IT!!" Gir then ran away, unimpeded by the slick floor, giggling manically.

"Well, that was annoying..." Dib muttered. He then looked up at the tangle of cables that made up the ceiling.

"Uh, hi, Mister Zim's House... Computer... thingy," Dib started. "Could I use your telescope for a minute? I need to see something."

The Computer was silent.

"...Please?" Dib added.

"Fine," came the Computer's reply.

The floor opened beneath Dib, and he slid down a long tube. He was screaming, but from the thrill, not from fear. He wasn't too worried about the Computer springing any traps on him. He had spied on Zim enough to know that the Computer had little interest in Zim's mission, much less attacking enemies. Unless Zim was here to explicitly order Dib's capture, he would be fine.

He hoped.

Fortunately, the ride ended with him landing in a chair on a floating platform, and not a holding cell. Dib was a little awed by the size of the spherical room. The platform drifted over to a large instrument jutting down from the ceiling. Dib looked at the various levers used to control the telescope. They all pointed at him like some kind of probes. He grimaced. Maybe this was some kind of torture chamber.

"Select viewing target," the Computer prompted. Okay, so it was a telescope.

Dib put his eye up to the lens. The eyepiece, sized and shaped for Irken eyes, was uncomfortable, but Dib could see just fine. "Alright then, Computer, target Jupiter." The large gas planet appeared in front of Dib. He tried to spot Mars near the giant, no easy task, considering six Mars' could fit in Jupiter's red spot. He frowned after searching for a minute. "Zoom out." Jupiter got suddenly smaller. Dib searched the new open space. He tested a lever near his hand. The 'scope moved accordingly. He began trying the other controls, and soon he was maneuvering the telescope as if he had built it. He still couldn't find Mars though. He zoomed back in on Jupiter, but there was something different. An orange spot was moving across the gas planet's surface, and it wasn't part of the cloud system. He zoomed in more, and Mars came up to meet him, crystal clear.

"Got it!" Dib exclaimed. "Hey, Computer! Can you plot that object's trajectory?"

"Processing... planetoid is on collision course with Earth. However, speed and power levels indicate that impact is not occupant's intent. Infiltration seems more likely. At this rate, planetoid will be within range by 6:40 tomorrow night."

"Infiltration," Dib mumbled. "Looks like the storm is coming."

-

Tak worked quickly with her torch. She needed to seal up this hull breach before she lost all her oxygen.

The tiny escape pod suddenly lurched sideways, bringing the fresh seal forward to collide with her face. She dropped the torch and covered her face. Then MiMi's claw smacked the back of her head, nearly clipping her brain tube.

"Curse you Zim!" she cried out loud. "Of all the places to send me drifting into-" Another impact rocked the pod. "-it had to be the asteroid belt!"

Another impact set off a siren. "Warning. Hull breach aft," the alarm informed her. She snatched the torch out of the air and pushed off the floor to float aft in the micro gravity.

It was a good thing Irkens didn't need sleep, because she had been getting pummeled by space rock and fixing hull breaches for three months straight. She had welded up so many holes that the whole interior looked like it had melted. Not to mention MiMi's parts, her snacks, and her emergency tools all drifting around, since she had nothing to tie them down with. Those had covered Tak head to toe in cuts and bruises. Worse still was the fact that her oxygen was draining rapidly. She had enough for now, but if she didn't get a break, it would all end up in space.

She sighed and rested her head on the hull for a moment. Her muscles ached and her bruises were sore. The Irken body was not built to withstand this kind of punishment for so long. She let her eyes drift shut. Let herself rest a moment. So quiet now.

She suddenly snapped into alertness. Quiet? It couldn't be.

She pushed off the back wall to the windscreen, dodging a six pack of soda on her way there. She looked out the screen and saw the asteroid belt shrinking into the distance. After bouncing around like a pinball for two months, she had finally ricocheted out of that nightmare. Relief flooded over her. The worst was over.

Or so she thought.

As the pod slowly turned, Tak found that she was quickly approaching Jupiter. She slumped her shoulders. The gas giant's intense gravity and high atmospheric pressure would crush her as she fell into it. That is, if the hurricanes didn't get her first.

It wasn't fair. Ever since she was smeeted, Tak had always worked so hard to achieve her goals, but it never worked out. She had spent long, hard Irken years training to become an invader, but Zim had made her miss her exam and be assigned to planet Dirt. She spent fifty years building her own ship, SIR unit, and her plan to impress the Tallest, but once again, Zim destroyed her hopes of becoming an invader. Now, after working for months straight to keep this bucket together, a swirling ball of gas was going to crush her hopes for revenge. And her.

She glared at the large planet, as if she could push it away by staring at it. But the pod's slow spin took away even the minor satisfaction of her stare down.

It couldn't end like this! And yet it had to. She had already tried formulating an escape plan, dozens of them, months ago. She had considered every pod part, every tool, every one of MiMi's pieces. Nothing could save her.

She sighed with resignation. "Computer?" she asked. "How long until we enter the planet's atmosphere?"

"At current speed and velocity, we will reach the planet's gravity well in twelve hours. Once caught by the planet's gravity, we will accelerate exponentially, and enter atmosphere in another three hours," a feminine voice responded.

Tak guessed she would be dead within an hour of reaching the atmosphere. That gave her sixteen hours. Sixteen painfully long, yet tragically short hours.

Jupiter spun lazily into her view once more. Only a miracle could save her now, but she had never done anything to deserve one, so she didn't get her hopes up. Instead, she plucked a bag of chips from the air and pictured every painful thing that could ever happen to Zim.

**A/N: Huh. That Tak part came out a little angsty. Whatever, look for Chapter Five within the next two days. Oh, and before I go, I wanted to thank Slurpee Monster for giving me my first review. Your cookie is in the mail.**


	5. Chapter 5

"A useless ball of ice and rock? I think not, _pathetic_ _humans!_" Zim shouted as he lifted off from Pluto, his plutonium safely stored in the Voot's side pods.

He started the Voot's surprisingly powerful thrusters, and within a few minutes he was passing Neptune. He clasped his hands behind his head and let the Computer fly. After twenty minutes, he was already approaching Jupiter. He'd be home in no time.

The console suddenly started beeping. "Mass anomaly." Zim's antennae perked up. "Large object blocking current course," the Computer reported.

"Eh?" Zim leaned forward to see. On the screen was a 3-D diagram of the object. It was spherical and had five large cones on one end. "Computer, identify object," Zim barked. "Object identified as planetoid/vessel Mars." "I thought so." Zim sat back and placed a gloved claw on his chin. "Why is Mars near Jupiter? Last I saw it was flying out of the system. Not to mention it was heavily damaged by the asteroid field." He leaned forward and placed both hands on the console. "Computer, take us in for a closer look."

The Voot altered course slightly and headed toward the red planet. Zim looked for the Face as they approached, but he couldn't find it. He equipped his space suit and force field helmet as the Voot came down for a landing.

The cockpit eased open, and he stood up on the rim. The bleak, dusty landscape had changed little since his last visit. He jumped from the Voot, letting the weak gravity carry him. After Mars jumping for a while, he came to where the Face on Mars was located. Or used to be.

It was gone. Not even it's wreckage was left.

Zim bent down to examine the area. He pulled a small scanner from his PAK and swept it over the red soil.

The ground suddenly shook violently, making him drop the scanner to catch himself. He looked around nervously, then slowly got to his feet, but another tremor rocked the ground beneath him. The ground started splitting in front of him, causing him to scream and run away. He hid behind a rock until the tremors stopped.

He poked his head out and slowly walked over to examine the fault. As he approached, however, he was surprised to find the fault was a perfectly square hole. He came to the ledge and found that it wasn't a fault at all, but a large shaft, going down further than he could see and big enough to fit eight Voots side by side.

"Interesting, whoever is flying Mars must be using a command deck under the surface. Eh? What's that?" He squinted to see.

A glint of silver emerged from the darkness deep in the shaft, and it quickly grew as it approached at high speed. When it finally reached the top of the shaft, Zim saw it was a large robot, easily ten feet tall. It's body was a huge cylinder, with four smaller cylinders attached as arms and legs. A spherical head with a single red eye sat on top. It's legs were spouting jets of flame that reminded Zim of pathetic human spacecraft.

The shaft closed beneath the robot, and it dropped down, landing with an enormous thud. It looked down at Zim. "Subject identified as Zim." It's voice was cold, devoid of any personality, programmed or otherwise. "Directive: Terminate."

The robot's arm swiveled up to point at Zim. The end opened up and three rotating gun barrels extended out. Zim gasped as the weapon warmed up, glowing red and spinning.

Zim extended his spider legs straight down, pushing himself up in a massive Mars jump as the robot fired. Rapid-fire crimson pocked the Martian soil, then followed him into the sky.

Zim activated his zero-gee jets. They weren't enough to fly, but they were enough to push him over his foe's head.

He landed and sprung forward to attack the robot's back, but it's head and arm pulled a 180 on their joints to face him. Zim suddenly found his body being crushed by a pincer claw that had replaced the chain-gun. He was thrown down to the ground, and he barely had time to extend his spider legs before a large foot came crashing down.

He scurried over behind a boulder and crouched down. His comm piece extended over his head down to his mouth. "Computer! I'm under attack! Bring the Voot!-"

The sound of grinding rock filled his... Irken sound receptor organs... and his comm dropped to his feet. He looked up and saw half a boulder, a stump where his comm arm should be, and a massive buzz saw. His antennae flattened to his head in fear.

The robot lifted it's buzz saw arm over it's head and started to bring it down. Zim jumped to the side as what was left of the boulder split in half. The spinning saw kicked up clouds of red dust, and the robot's red eye shone through dramatically.

Zim started to run. He didn't care where, as long as he was away from that robot!

The Voot was coming up on the horizon. He grinned and leaped through the air, using his jets to maneuver to the ship's open cockpit. He was almost there when something shot past his head. It dug into the Voot, and Zim saw it was a harpoon. The harpoon's cable went taught, and the Voot was pulled out from in front of him. He watched as the robot spun the Voot in a wide circle like a tether-ball. As the Voot completed it's arc, Zim's eyes bulged as he realized he had drifted into it's path. He started his jets, but it was too late.

The cruiser slammed into him, and the centrifugal force pinned him to the pink hull. Around and around he spun, the gee forces starting to crush him. Red dust smacked against him at high speeds, sandblasting parts of his suit and making his helmet shimmer. "COMPUTER!!" he screamed over the howling wind. "FIRE THE CANNONS!!"

The Voot's cannons lit up and spewed green blobs toward the center of the circle. Zim forced his head to turn and look. He couldn't see through all the dust clouds, however. If the shots were impacting, they weren't doing much. Zim saw a bolt brush the cable, however, giving him an idea.

He wriggled a single spider leg from his PAK. He could hardly move it, it was pinned to the hull like he was, but it slowly squirmed into position. He fired off a laser from the tip. It missed the cable. He fired again. Closer, but still missed. Again. This bolt grazed it, shearing off layers from the cable, but it held. He inched the leg farther, and fired again. Another grazing shot. What was this cable made of?!

Suddenly, the cable seemed to twist, then disappeared, as did the Voot. Zim kept flying however, and seconds after disappearing, the Voot reemerged from the dust in front of him. Zim screamed as the ship collided with him once more, this time smacking him away like a home run slugger. The robot had reversed it's spin.

Zim's body ached, but he was too busy flying into orbit and screaming to notice. He looked down and saw that the Voot was coming up to meet him, trailing a frayed cable behind it. The cabled had snapped, conveniently sending the cruiser straight at him. He reached out and grabbed hold of the ship, then pulled himself inside. He started the engines and the ship stabilized. "Ha!" Zim yelled triumphantly. "Inferior robot! You could not defeat the almighty ZIIIIIM!!"

As if on cue, the ship rocked violently, knocking Zim back to his seat. The robot was clinging to the Voot, and it started trying to rip through the hull. Panicking, Zim jammed the controls to the left, sending the cruiser into a spin. The robot tightened it's grip, but the spin was working against it this time. It held on for a moment before being thrown back to Mars.

Zim gunned the Voot as fast as it would go. He checked the rear camera to see if the robot followed him. He didn't see anything for a moment, but then the robot reappeared and charged at him. It rotated it's arms to face the Voot, and two chain-guns appeared. Zim winced as it open fired, sending a hail of blazing red bolts at the cruiser. The ship shook under the strain, and warning sirens blared. The Voot was quickly losing hull integrity.

Zim took evasive action, throwing the cruiser into rolls and dives, but the laser fire was relentless. A small explosion rocked the ship, and the Computer reported, "Warning. Left pod ruptured. Chain reaction initiated. Plutonium detonation in 7, 6, 5..." Zim's eyes widened. "Computer!! Empty the pod! Dump the Plutonium!!" The Computer obeyed, and Zim watched the Plutonium fly into view of the rear camera. His eyes narrowed and his mouth curled into a zipper-toothed grin. The Plutonium flew straight at the robot and detonated.

Zim laughed his maniacal laugh. "My ingenious plan to drop the Plutonium like a bomb worked! I AM ZIIIM!!" he shouted. "Warning," the Computer started once more, interrupting Zim's gloating. "Missile lock detected." Zim narrowed one eye and glanced at the camera screen. The robot was still on his tail, though it looked battered, and rocket cones had extended from it's arms. The projectiles fired out of it's arms and rapidly gained on the Voot.

Zim gritted his teeth and forced the cruiser past it's safe speed. He started zig-zagging and rolling to slow down the missiles, but they were going to catch him. He tried to find another option, and he realized he was headed for the asteroid belt. He figured his best bet would be to use the asteroids for cover so he could escape or retaliate.

Unfortunately, he would have to beat the missiles there.

He threw the ship into more complex maneuvers, and the cruiser groaned under the stress. He was doing fine, until he overlooked something in his path. His maneuvering had brought him on a collision course with an object slightly smaller than the Voot, and he was too busy watching the missiles to notice it.

-

Tak finished the last chocolate bar in the pod and tossed the wrapper back to float around. Now that all the sugar and fat from the snacks was in her system, she was feeling a lot better, physically at least.

The increased energy and healing bruises didn't stop her imminent doom, however.

She had contemplated using her self destruct mechanism, or maybe removing her PAK and letting the loss of life support kill her. But she decided against those actions, they showed cowardice. If she was going to be crushed by the intense pressure of this planet, then she would stand and face her fate. She wasn't going to take the easy way out, and that gave her some pride, even in these last hours.

The Computer beeped. "Warning. Incoming ship on collision course. Recommend evasive action." Tak scowled at that last sentence. She looked out the windscreen to see what was going to hit her. She immediately wished she didn't.

Zim's Voot Runner was barreling right at her.

It was the last thing she wanted to see right now. Zim just couldn't leave her alone, even when she was going to die soon. His very presence taunted her. She noted the rockets chasing the cruiser, however, and her mood lifted slightly. Maybe she would get to see Zim's death, even as she plummeted to her own, on a path he sent her down. How deliciously ironic that would be.

If she survived the collision, that is.

She extended her spider legs in an X formation and dug the tips into the walls of the pod. The Voot slammed into Tak's escape pod at top speed. The pod was thrown into a vicious spin, but Tak's legs held her in place. She could feel the strain being put on them after a bit, so she pulled them back to keep them from snapping. She tumbled around the pod with the rest of the debris. One of the oxygen tanks in the back suddenly broke off and flew at her. She had nothing to push on to get out of it's way, so she braced herself as it crashed into her head. She spun out and hit the wall, holding on to consciousness as long as she could. Her head was in terrible pain, and pink globules of blood floated around her. Her sight was getting blurry, but she caught a glimpse of the tank as it continued through the air, right towards the windscreen. She tried to reach out for it, as if she could reach it, but her hand wouldn't move. The blow must've paralyzed her, at least partially. She could only watch as the tank smashed through the screen. The atmosphere started to rush towards the the opening, pulling her out into the vacuum of space. The air was literally sucked from her squeedly spooch as the air pressure in her body tried to equalize with that of space. She started to suffocate, gasping in the airless vacuum, and she could feel the cold freezing her alive.

She managed to cough out three more words, unheard in the emptiness of space, "Curse you, Zim..."

-

Zim flew out of his seat as the Voot crashed into Tak's pod and tumbled through space. He struggled to grab the controls, eventually reaching them and stabilizing the cruiser. He looked at the rear camera and found that the missiles had fallen behind.

"Uh, YES!! My brilliant plan to bounce off that..."

"Tak's escape pod," the Computer supplied.

"DON'T INTERRUPT ZIM!! Where was I? Oh yeah. My BRILLIANT plan to bounce off Tak's escape pod to confuse the missiles worked!"

Zim spun the cruiser around to face the missiles. He laughed maniacally as he fired the Voot's cannons. The energy globs hit the missiles, detonating them.

"BWAHAHAHAHA!!" Zim bellowed triumphantly. Overconfidence restored, he searched for the robot that had attacked him. He found nothing.

"THAT'S RIGHT, COWARD!! FLEE FROM THE MIGHTY **ZIIIIIM!!** Computer, take us home!" Zim folded his hands behind his head and repeatedly congratulated himself all the way back to Earth.

-

The figure watched the fight from Cyclops' point of view.

_That little Irken is putting up more of a fight than I expected. Good. That means I can toy with him longer_.

Cyclops chased after Zim's ship, his chain-guns blazing. "Don't kill him, Cyclops. We need him alive for now."

"Yes Master," the robot's voice came through the screen.

The battle played out to the point where Cyclops took the Plutonium explosion. The figure frowned, not at his robot's damage, but at Zim's. His ship was about to fall apart. "Give him a little scare to remember us by. Launch your missiles, and keep them close enough to convince him he's in danger." Cyclops complied.

The figure smirked at Zim's wild maneuvering. His smirk disappeared as Zim neared Tak's pod, however. "Well, this is unexpected. We'd better hope he doesn't kill himself." He chucked a bit at the thought.

The two ships collided and flew in opposite directions. He watched to make sure Zim stabilized, then he turned his attention to Tak.

"Cyclops, examine the object Zim hit. It appears to be some kind of vessel." Cyclops flew away from Zim as he destroyed the missiles.

As Cyclops approached the now wrecked pod, the figure spotted something interesting among the debris. "Well, this is a fortuitous development." He grinned in the dark, already modifying his plans.

**A/N: Okay, it took me an extra day to update. This chapter took a bit longer to write, sue me. Anyways, just a quick heads up to whoever cares, I have to work on another project for a while, so my future updates will be less... punctual. O teh noes (Parden my Leetspeak). As always, review or don't.**


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Invader Zim, Adventure, Suspense