Invader Zim 1. Chapter 1: Always Regrets

CHAPTER ONE: There's Always Regrets

_Don't worry, anxious readers, I haven't abandoned my "V for Irken Vendetta" fic. I'm just really stuck on it right now, and I've had it in mind to do a sequel to "A Tale of Two Dimensions" for some time. So, taking a little break from the profanity-inducing writers block of my V story, I've decided to follow the white rabbit of this story down the rabbit hole, and see where it leads._

_First off, if you have yet to read "A Tale of Two Dimensions", do it NOW. I mean it, Don't read this, expecting it to make any sense whatsoever. So if you have no backstory, bloody get it, or you're not gonna like this one._

_This chapter may seem a little fluffy and smutty compared to what I normally write. It's called "setting the mood", so don't badger me for this, and don't think this is going to turn out to be some kind of uber-Tak-porno or something. Dr. Drake and Tak's love is a key issue in this story, and is put to the test by the series of events the plot has in store. I just want to show how close they really are. _

**"No matter where you go, there's always the places you didn't go. Whatever you do, you will always have the things you didn't. Everything has it's price, and that price is always the things that we could have done, could have said, could have been. One path walked, others passed by, but seldom forgotten. This is the great irony of life, that we can never die without regrets. Because there are always...always regrets." One of my personal philosophies.**

I awoke with a start from another one of my wretched dreams. Or so I thought. Honestly, I don't remember why I awoke. One can sometimes scarcely remember their dreams, as memorial as they may seem when they're actually dreaming them. I groaned with fatigue and that horrid slimy feeling one gets after just waking up.

"Ah," I muttered. "Now I remember why I don't sleep." I looked over to my left, expecting to see Tak's sleeping form lying next to me. Instead, there was only rumpled sheets, and a pillow bearing the indentation of a head. My eyes scanned the bedroom of my quarters. The laboratory at Cambridge had much better accomidations than my old facility. Then again, a scientist who loves his work enough is just as apt to be happy falling asleep in an office chair, using a keyboard as a pillow. I cleared my throat, and gave the room's emptiness my attention.

"Tak?" I called softly. "Love, you in here?" No answer. 'Balls.' I thought. Tak had become somewhat broody lately. Now six months after we had brought her through to our world, I feared she had tired of our rather boring dimension. Despite how close we had become in six months, she seemed to have demons eating at her, reguardless of what I did. I hated to see her brood. I sighed, and slowly drug my merry carcass from the queen sized bed. I still wore what I had been wearing the day before: slim fit black velvet jeans and a black TAPS teeshirt. Still the nihilistic scientist, I still do what I want.

I walked through the darkened quarters, not even bothering to turn on any lights. Light is so bloody overrated anyhow. I knew where Tak would be. I approached the double french garden doors, seeing the pale moonlight shine through the open portals. I sighed again, pulled my black victorian style coat from the rack, throwing it over my shoulders, and walked through the doors.

The back of the quarters had a large, ornate patio of sorts, seperated from the rest of the world by the tall shrubs planted in a natural fence around its perimeter. A moderately priced Meade reflector telescope sat near a metal table with four matching chairs. Upon the table, with her hands behind her head, staring up at the night sky, was Tak. Her disguise was turned off, and she lay, fully dressed in the goth fashion she now wore constantly. I watched as her purple eyes reflected the moonlight. I stared silently at her beauty for a moment, then spoke.

"What are you doing out here so late?" I asked in a low voice. Stupid question. I knew why. I'm an idiot.

"Just...you know," The Irken replied, not taking her eyes from the stars overhead. "thinking." I walked over, sitting upon one of the chairs, and lightly stroking Tak's cheek. I looked up at the sky. A million small white dots stared back.

"It is really beautiful tonight." I whispered. "Orion's out."

"I know." She whispered back. She rolled onto her stomach, her face close to mine. In the moonlight, I saw a tinge of pain in her eyes. "Drake, my love." She said, placing a three-digited hand gently against my cheek. "I miss it." I leaned forward, my forehead meeting hers lightly.

"I know you do." I said, feeling as small and ineffectual as my psyche allowed. "I'm... sorry." Tak moved even closer, placing a gentle kiss on my lips.

"You have no cause for an apology." She said.

"I did it." I replied. "I brought you through. I tore you away from your life."

"And gave me a better one." Tak said. "You know I love you. I love Ana like a sister. I even like Ashton." She paused for a moment. "You know, to a lesser degree." I laughed lightly for a moment. "I love being here, learning, and experiencing all this world has to offer. I just..."

"You're thinking about home." I stated sypathetically.

"Yeah. I mean look at all these stars. They look so...different from what I knew. I know most of these constellations and planets by heart, but so much isn't the same. I can't help but wonder."

"Wonder what, love?" I asked.

"Over there." Tak said, pointing to a speck of light in the sky. "That's Arcturus. And that one, that's Betlegeuce, a binary star. They were there in my reality, and here they are in yours. I wonder if...somewhere out there," Tak sniffled, and looked across the sky. "There's a planet called Irk."

"It's...it's possible." I said, putting my right arm over Tak's shoulders. "I mean..." I trailed off. I couldn't lie to her, and maybes and could be's never seem to help anything.

"What about the Tallest?" Tak asked, laying her head on my shoulder. "Do they even exist in this realm? Or Foodcourtia, or Devastis...I would even like to know if Zim even exists anymore." I felt my shoulder growing damp, and knew that was from Tak's tears. I pulled her close to comfort her. She came willingly, and soon, I held her to my chest and we were embraced in a close hug, her arms wrapped around me tightly, reminding me of a scared child holding onto her mother.

"It's okay." I said comfortingly. "I'm here." There were times that I simply hated myself. I loved Tak, and her pain was my pain. Tak was a contridiction. She was so strong, both mentally and physically. She was powerful in ways no human could ever be. But she harbored a weakness inside her, and when it manifested, it was just a reminder of how she was no superhero or goddess, just a complex being, I daresay, human, for lack of a better word.

"I'm cold." Tak whispered. I responded by wrapping her in my coat as I held her close. I carried her back into the quarters, closing the doors behind me. Once in the bedroom, I lay Tak on the bed, and pulled the sheets up to her chin. I tossed my coat into a heap on the floor, and climbed into bed, putting my right arm around Tak.

"I love you." I said. Tak smiled through her sadness.

"I love you too." She replied. "Don't worry about me."

"You know I'm going to." I said.

"My doctor." Tak whispered with a smile. "Always the worrier." It was my turn to smile now, and I pulled Tak close. Our bodies pressed together, she let out a small 'Mmm', and I pressed my lips onto hers. A really great kiss: when quantum physics can sucessfully describe such an energetic reaction between two physical bodies interacting, I'll get back to you with details.

We broke the kiss, and Tak lingered for a moment, as if savoring the taste on her tongue. She let out a small sigh, and opened her eyes.

"You kiss like we're going to be dead tomorrow." Tak whispered, a smile playing across her face, and a lustful longing in her eyes.

"We always may," I said. "And I don't want any regrets." Tak pressed herself even closer, amd the logical half of my brain suddenly held up a white flag to my baser instincts.

"Neither do I." Tak whispered into my ear. "Drake, love me like tomorrow won't come." I slowly slid my fingertips along Tak's left antennae. She shuddered in that lovely way that no lover can ignore. "Please?" What could I say? 'No'?

We lay in bed with with the thin Egyptian cotton sheet pulled up to our necks, holding onto each other lovingly. Tak's sweet smelling breath invaded my olfactory receptors, and I liked it. She looked into my eyes for a moment.

"Drake," She said lightly. "Do you think we could...ever...uh, you know..." She trailed off.

"What, love?"

"I just wondered if there was...any possibility that we could ever have...a, uh...a smeet."

"Oh." I said, as if she'd just asked me if I wanted to have my pancreas removed by an orangutan in a purple lab coat. I'm a guy, alright?

"I mean do you think it's...you know, possible?" Damn. If that wasn't a question to beat all questions for the title of 'I really don't know how to answer this." I have a degree in biology, two years of anatomy, and another degree in vetrinary science, and bloody hell, I wish I could lie.

"I...uh" I said. "Tak, we're..." Why not be a scientist about it? "We're so genetically different, and...I...I just don't think it's possible." I saw her eyes close, and her antenna dropped a bit. "I'd really...like to, you know." She looked back into my eyes.

"Really?" She asked. a heartbroken tinge to her voice. I smiled sympathetically.

"I...wish we could. You'd make a great mother." Tak smiled at this.

"And you'd make a great father." She replied, placing a hand on my cheek. "A smeet with your DNA would be...so wonderful." I saw tears form in her eyes again. "Dreams, huh?" Tak whispered, before rolling over and snuggling her back up against my chest. I placed my right arm over her. "Just like seeing home again." She whispered. The words, despite their softness, cut into me like a rusty knife compliments of Jack the Ripper. A thought came to mind, a thought borne of Tak's sadness and the experiment that my team was conducting at the time. A thought that I dared not vocalise, but one that gleamed with that kind of hope that only the desperate can see. I moved my mouth close to her ear.

"We are the music makers," I muttered, quoting that great Beatle. "and we are the dreamers of the dreams."

_What did you think? Am I slaughtering it? Just tell me if I'm compromising the integrity of the original, and I'll gladly take this down or rewrite it. If you like it, say so, and I'll continue. Well, awaiting reviews. 'Till then, Dr. Lovekill out. Cheerio._


	2. Chapter 2: Breakdown

CHAPTER 2: Breakdown

_This chapter will be more leadup to the greatness to come. It IS coming, I promise. Patience is a virtue, so be virtuous. This chapter is rated T for a couple swear words, just for safety. Read and review. I don't own Invader Zim, or any characters thereof. Nor do I own any of the other works of fiction I allude to or referance in this chapter, including JTHM, Mary Poppins, or The Hitcher. _

"Aaaannnaaa!" I yelled across the lab. "Where in the damn bloody 'hell are my damn bloody notes?!" It was 11:45 in the morning, and the last night aside, I was feeling tired, the experiment was not up to scedule, and I was in no mood to have the day become any worse than it was shaping up to be already. So, for some reason, I was yelling like Ozzy Osbourne. Ana's head popped up from behind a computer workstation.

"Easy," She said, smiling her usual perky smile. "Down boy, down. I got the notes right here." She stood, and brought a notebook across the room as a ran my right hand through my long. black hair, which was trying desperately to escape from the ponytail that imprisoned it. "There were some miscalculations in the notes, but the computer got 'em all sorted out." Ana explained. "Here ya go."

"Thanks, Ana." I said. "Sorry about yelling at you. I'm just having one of those bloody days, you know." She smiled understandingly.

"You're using up all of your bad day cards, you know. What's wrong, Doc?"

"Ah, nothing a good night's sleep and about 500 cc's of Thorazine won't cure." I replied with a grim smile.

"Are you and Tak okay?" Ana asked. God, why does she have to be so smart?

"We're...uh...good." I said.

"You know you can't lie for crap, right?" Ana smiled. "Anything I can do?"

"Yeah." I scoffed. "Help me find a way to get her home." Ana's expression softened.

"I'm sorry." She said. "She...really misses home, huh?" I inhaled deeply, and stared into space for a moment.

"Yeah." I finally replied. Now, to change the subject. "So, what do the new numbers say?"

"Just that the old ones were trash." Ana said with a sigh. Great. My new work was simply an extrapolation of my old work, and my old work had been able to bring Tak into our dimension. So why wasn't it working?

"Maybe," Ashton commented, pushing himself away from his nearby workstation in his rolling chair. "Maybe we can bring objects or beings through, but sending them isn't possible."

"Poppycock." I stated. I love old-school phrases. "Nature is all about balance. For every action, there is an equal but opposite reaction, remember? If particle flow is possible through a gateway, as we've all seen, then a reverse flow must also be possible, let alone necessary to balance the equation." Sounds simple enough, huh?

"Dr. Drake and his world famous equations." The voice chilled my bones to their marrow. It was like hearing a banshee sing Janice Joplin while raking her nails down a chalkboard. I turned to see Mary Henesey standing athoratively in the doorway of the lab. "So," _Doctor_ Henesey (as she always liked to remind people) said. "The experiment isn't coming along too well, eh?"

"It's coming along fine." I groaned, rolling my eyes at the arrogant scientist. "Thank's for asking."

"Well, it doesn't sound like it's getting along _fine_," Henesey said sarcastically. "Sounds like you're having a spot of bother with the numbers. Nothing that's going to get you kicked out of the department, I hope." She said with a smile that said volumes. I heard Ana growl lightly under her breath, and I was glad Tak had decided to stay in the quarters today, or else Henesey would've probably had a traumatic experience involving her eyeballs and a plastic spork.

"I'm afraid I'll be sticking about for a while, Henesey." I said, sticking my nose in the air in a defiant manner that only englishmen can do justice. "So don't start planning my farewell party yet."

"That's too bad, _Doctor_." Henesey spat. "Because with you and your Frankenstein science fair gone, my lab would get a much bigger budget."

"Pinch pennies, Mary Poppins." Ana said. As Henesey stormed out of the lab, Ana, Ashton and I laughed at the idea of Dr. Henesey flying around with an umbrella, singing to children. When my bitter rival had departed, I turned to Ana and Ashton.

"Guys," I stated gravely. "We have to get this thing up and running soon. Unless we can miraculously send a package across space and time in about ohh, one week, I think the project is going to get scrubbed."

"It's not enough time." Ashton muttered. "We still have..."

"We have nothing." I interrupted. "We have no more time, the financers have no more patience." I sighed. "To bollocks with the numbers. We have to test. And soon." I heard the door to the lab open with a hydrolic whoosh, and prayed to my nonexistant gods that it wasn't Henesey again. I turned to see Tak approaching. Now in her human form, she looked to all the world like a girl of about thirteen. She wore a pair of those baggy black and purple pants. You know, the ones with all of the bloody zippers and straps on them, the ones that you see by the truckloads at an Evanescence concert, and a tight black teeshirt with a large white "Z?" on it. The steel toe caps of her favorite boots were visible, barely sticking out from under her pant legs. The overall look: 'Don't mess with me.'

"Tak." I said, lightly brushing a strand of blue hair from her face. She smiled up at me a little. "What brings you here?" I asked. "I thought you said you wanted to lay in bed watching psycho slasher movies all day."

"Eh." Tak shrugged. "It gets boring after a while. They're all the same. Except for "The Hitcher". That one was pretty good."

"Told you." Ana smiled.

"Oh," Tak said. "What's going on with that horrible doctor woman? I passed her in the hall, and she had a look that could make a cow mammal's milk spoil." I love it when Tak tries to use human slang and old sayings. I sighed.

"She was just reminding me of how far behind schedule (and it's pronounced shed-yule, you bloody Americans) we are, and how this whole thing is nothing but a..." That's it, breakdown time, then the healing can begin. I threw the notebook across the room. " A damn bloody failure! It's all shite! We're going to get kicked out of here because I'm a failure!"

"No." Tak said. "Drake...you're not."

"But i _am_, love. I've ballsed up this whole experiment, like I've mucked up everything else in my past." I dropped into an office chair, and turned away from the others. Remembering my past was like opening a floodgate of bad memories and...pain. How I hate pain.

"You haven't _ballsed_ anything up." Tak said, a bit angry at my sudden weakness. "You're possibly the greatest mind of this generation, and you can't even see that! You get so hung up on little mistakes that you can't see how great you really are. You haven't messed anything up that I can see."

"I scewed up your life pretty bloody well, didn't I?" Somebody, please shove a cork in mouth when I get broody.

I heard Tak let out a sob. I turned around to see her looking at me forlornly, her bottom lip actually quivering a bit. Tears ran from her eyes, but she never broke her gaze from mine.

"Is _that_ what you think, Drake?" She whispered. "You screwed up my life, and that's it? I'm another one of your 'mistakes' you like to wail about when things don't go right?" Ana stood with her right hand over her mouth, her eyes wide as she watched the drama unfold. Ashton had wheeled himself back to his workstation, where he pretended poorly not to be listening. "Am I the result of a failed experiment to you? Answer me, Drake!"

"I..." I muttered, at a complete loss for words. "FUCK!" I yelled, upstarting from the chair hard enough to send it slamming into the desk behind it. I stormed past Tak, past Ana, and into my small office, where I slammed the door and fell into my own chair. Just as the tears began to come, I had a random science-oriented thought. I stood back up, and opened the door. Sticking my head out, I yelled, "Oi! You guys wanna do something constructive, fire the damned accelerator up! We're fucking testing soon as I tear my bloody soul out!" I slammed the door shut, and went back to my breakdown.

_I was going to have the action happen in this chapter, but I'm enjoying my strange ability to write such drama between Tak and Drake. It will get better in the next chapter. By better, I mean there will be more interesting things happening, since I'm sure you lot really aren't that interested in a soap opera. Well, until then, reviews please, or I shall go insane. Cheerio._


	3. Chapter 3: Crossing the Rift

CHAPTER 3: Crossing the Rift

_Don't you kind of feel sorry for Tak and Drake? They love each other so much, and yet they can't get past their own personal demons and be happy. But as the old saying goes, in order for things to get better, first they must get a hell of alot worse..._

_I don't own Invader Zim, the modern day Salvidore Dali that is Jhomem Vasquez does. Don't sue, just read and review._

My head rose from my arms as I heard a light knock at my office door. It was that kind of knock someone selling a religion gives on the door a trailer home that they just know contains a redneck with a shotgun.

"Yeahhh?" I asked, sounding like a cross between a psychotic Clint Eastwood and Gregory Peck, who sounds almost like...a psychopathic Clint Eastwood. The door opened slowly, and Ana stepped just inside the door.

"Doctor?" She said in a meek voice. "The...uh...the accelerator is ready." I sniffled and nodded in affirmation.

"Thanks, Ana." I said with a sigh. "I'll be out in a minute."

"Okay." Ana replied, starting to leave my office.

"Ana?" I asked. "Is...is Tak okay?" Ana gave me a look like a mother who has just caught her child smoking marijuana.

"She's..." Ana began. She sighed. "You should talk to her. I think you really hurt her." I let my head fall hard against my desk with a thump.

"Don't do that." Ana sighed. "You'll give yourself brain damage."

"Who bloody cares?"

"I do. Tak does. And I'm sure your brain cells do." Ana said.

"I'll be out in a sec." I repeated. Staring at the wood-grain veneer finish of my desk, I heard Ana leave the office. How could things get any worse?

The 'Stargate 2' as we affectionately called the new system, hummed with life as it drew enough electricity to power a small town. I walked out of my office, and turned toward the controls of the device.

"The package in place?" I asked as I passed Ashton, who drew back a little, like a dog who was afraid of incurring the wrath of it's owner.

"It's in place." He replied. I looked toward Ana. Tak stood behind Ana, looking at me fearfully. I felt like I was about three inches tall when I saw her looking at me that way. I turned back to Ashton.

"Let's fire it up." I said sadly. Ashton nodded, and typed a command into his computer. The humming of the machine turned into a whir. I looked back to Ana, averting my eyes.

"You have the key, Ana." Ana nodded, and removed a key from her pocket. Ashton rose from his chair, and the four of us slowly made our way to the controls of the new particle accelerator. Just beneath the three inch thick leaded bulletproof glass were two keyholes and a large lever to activate the accelerator. I removed a key from my pocket, and slid it into the right lock. Ana slid her key into the left slot. "On my mark." I said. "Now." We turned the keys simultanously, and a loud click followed by a beep came from the control panel. I slowly grasped the activation lever as the accelerator's roar reached it's peak. I felt a hand clutch my left, and turned to see Tak holding my free hand. We looked into each other's eyes for a moment, then I threw the lever.

The partcle accelerator let out a loud roar. We covered our ears as the enormous linnec moved subatomic particles at near the speed of light. The accelerator finally hummed to a stop after a few minutes of cacophany, and we glanced at each other with uncertainty. Without even turning off the keys (a blatant disreguard of lab safety), I threw open the steel door, and ran into the test chamber. I fell to my knees when I saw the package, containing cameras, tracking devices and recording equipment, still in the same spot it had been placed. The test had failed. I had failed.

I exited the room, feeling frustrated and desperate. Ana, Ashton and Tak looked at me sadly as I paced back and forth for some time, trying to get a grip on the situation. Nope, it was too slippery for that.

"Ashton," I finally said, "Reconfigure the coordinates. Give it the same numbers we used before."

"The ones we used when..." He asked, looking at Tak.

"Yes." I replied coldly. "They worked before. Damnit, they should work again. Do it!" Ashton walked quickly to his computer, and typed for a few minutes.

"Are you sure about this?" Ana asked, standing beside me.

"No." I muttered. "But goddamn the devil's mother, what am I supposed to do?"

"Done." Ashton said.

"Alright," I sighed, rubbing my temples. "I'm gonna check on the bloody package. The damn bloody package, so I'll...I'll be a minute." I walked back into the test chamber, and began checking the array of equipment on the device. I heard the door open, and I looked up to see the others standing in the small room with me.

"Doc," Ana said. "We're really worried about you. If you need to talk about anything, we're here for you." I gave a small smile.

"Thanks." I replied. "I'm just going through alot, you know. We're gonna get kicked out of here if this doesn't work. Maybe not you guys, but I'm sure I will."

"We're not staying on without you." Ana argued. "We're a team, and we're sticking together. We'll follow you through anything."

"That's...thanks." I smiled. I looked at Tak. "Love," I sighed, holding out a hand toward her. She drew closer, until we held each other in a hug. "I'm so sorry." I said softly, my head on her shoulder. "I love you." She replied by squeezing me a little tighter.

"I love you too, Drake." Tak whispered back.

"Awww." Ana cooed. She knelt and hugged us both. Ashton stood over us with his arms crossed.

"I'll give you a friendly handshake," He said with a smile. "But don't expect a hug." I gave a small laugh. Our touching Hallmark moment was cut short by the sound of the room's heavy door slamming shut. We looked, only to see Dr. Henesey peering at us through the window.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?!" I yelled, knowing that she couldn't hear me, but hoping she'd get the gist of what I was saying. She simply shrugged with an evil smile on her face. Ashton ran to the door, and attempted to open it.

"She locked it!" Ashton cried fearfully. "She locked us in!" Dr. Henesey walked to the control panel, and looked back up at us through the thick glass. She'd noticed the keys still in the machine! She gave us a facetious little finger wag.

"Don't do it!" I screamed. "You can't do this!" We saw her slowly reach for the lever. Ashton returned to our sides. I held Tak close, and Ana put her arms around both of us. "It's okay. It'll be alright." I kept repeating to Tak.

"We're going to die!" Ashton screamed. Henesey threw the lever. A loud hum came from the accelerator, and Tak clutched me even tighter. The accelerator began to whir.

"I love you." I said loudly over the noise of the linnec.

"I love you Drake!" Tak yelled. I closed my eyes as a bright light filled the room.

I felt as if I were floating, though I couldn't see or hear anything. To better describe it, it felt as if my consciousness is all that existed, that my material body was gone, and my consciousness was dropping slowly in some black ether into oblivion. I was also aware of other sentient beings around me, though I could neither see nor hear them. Was this the great beyond? Had I died and gone to Hell? Since there was no gold and radiant light and angelic music, I just assumed that I was in Hell. That is, until there was another bright light, and I found myself land hard on my back. 'Okay, I'm not dead, 'cause that really hurt.' I thought to myself. Then, I heard three thumps beside me. Opening my eyes, and aware of a suffocating pain, I dimly saw Tak, Ana and Ashton laying beside me.

"Tak." I choked. The pain I was feeling became more intense. It felt as if my skin was melting off of my bones, and my lungs and heart were trying to escape my body. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't speak, I couldn't even scream. Everything went black.

"Hey...uh, escuse me?" I heard a voice say. "Are you okay?" I groaned and opened my eyes. As my vision focused, a saw a boy with large Harry Potter-like glasses looking down on me. Something wasn't quite right, though. I looked at him for a moment, then it finally struck me.

"Awww, bollocks." I muttered. "Tell me I'm still asleep."

"Uhhh, no" The black-haired boy replied. "At least I don't think so."

"Dead?"

"Nnnnnooo..." The boy stared at me strangely. Well, can't blame a chap for trying. I might as well accept what had happened. I sat up slowly, my head still aching something terrible. I looked around. Yep, everything around me was animated. I fought the urge to look at myself, but in the end, my curiousity won out. I glanced down at my arms. Everything was intact, except now, I was a cartoon!

"Wonderful." I said dryly.

"So, you're okay, then?" The boy asked. I looked at him. Black hair that formed a backward-turned spike, blue teeshirt with a grey, very stoical looking face on it, black trechcoat...I fell back onto the grass.

"Where are the others?" I asked.

"They're still out, but they're fine, I think." The boy, whom I recognized as Dib, replied. "About that," He continued. "Did you know that you have an alien named Tak with you?"

"She's alright." I said. "Don't worry. She's not trying to take over the Earth or anything." I sat up again, and holding my head, I slowly stood.

"She was once before, you know." I heard Dib say. "The only reason I didn't do anything is that I noticed your labcoats and stuff, and you looked like a scientist, so..."

"What's your name?" I asked. I already knew, I just wanted to get him to be quiet while I checked on the others.

"Oh, my name's Dib." He replied as I knelt between Tak and Ana, who were both cartoon characters now as well.. They were breathing, but still unconscious. I gently shook Tak and Ana.

"Hey," I said. "Tak? Ana? Wake up. You're not goint to believe this." Ana slowly opened her eyes. Her pupils dialated as she focused on me.

"Doc?" She asked weakly. "What happened?" I smiled back at her.

"We did it!" I whispered. "We're in the Invader Zim universe!" Her eyes widened.

"Get out!" She sat up quickly and looked around. Her response was a bit more jovial than mine. She giggled as she took in her surroundings. When she saw Dib, her eyes teared up with happiness. Like a kid in a candy store...

"Drake?" Tak groaned as she opened her eyes. When she saw me, she looked around with confusion, finally sitting up and looking at her own body. "What...I'm...I'm back?" She gasped.

"Welcome home, love." I muttered. A smile crossed her face. She reached out and placed her right hand gently against my cheek. We leaned in and shared a kiss.

"What?" I heard Dib gasp. "Man, this is getting wierder and wierder. What's going on, anyway?"

"Ohhh." I heard Ashton moan. "I'm gonna kill that Henesey."

"Ashton, get up!" Ana called, kneeling nest to Ashton. "We're cartoons!" Ashton's eyes popped open, and he looked around fearfully.

"Oh, God." He groaned. "Ohhh Goood." He sat up, looked at each of us, then finally at himself. Time for the infamous Ashton Freakout Syndrome. "I can't be a cartoon!" He yelled. "What am I supposed to do now?! How're we supposed to get back?!"

"Calm down, Ashton." Ana said.

"Calm down? Calm down?! I'm a damn Looney Toon, and you want me to calm down?!"

"Would...somebody please explain to me what's going on?" Dib asked, backing a safe distance away from the insanity. Why not? If anyone in this dimension would understand, it would be him, right?

"Well..." I began. "We're scientists from another plane of existence. We were working on an interdimensional gateway. The first time it worked, we brought Tak into _our_ dimension. To make a long story short, she and I...uh... well, we ended up in love, and I ended up trying to repeat the results. We were trapped in the test chamber, and sent into _your _dimension, and well...here we are." Dib looked at us wide eyed. "Please," I said, "I'm being serious here. You have to believe me."

"I...I believe you." Dib stammered. "I mean, I know there are other dimensions existing within our own, and I know it's possible to pass between them. I've done it too." Gee, are all people in this dimension this intelligent, or what?

"D...Dib?" Tak stammered. Dib and Tak looked at each other for a moment.

"Uh..." Dib said nervously. "Hello...Tak."

"Something tells me," Ana said. "That this is going to be a very interesting little adventure."

_Well, what did you think? Drake and company have been sent to the IZ world. What will happen? Stay tuned to find out. Reviews, please. _


	4. Chapter 4: Life on the Other Side

CHAPTER 4: Life on the Other Side

_I would've gotten this chapter up sooner, but that little "I really hate my miserable existence" demon came for a visit and decided to make himself at home in my psyche. But, nonetheless, here is the next chapter for your reading pleasure. I would ask that you please send some reviews. I know quite a few people are reading this, and a few are following it regularly. Please be kind enough to give me your input. I don't own Invader Zim, Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, or any of the creations of the brilliant mind that is Jhonen Vasquez._

It takes a certain kind of person to be a scientist. You have to be as objective as possible towards your experiments and even new discoveries. So here we were, three sojourners from the existence that you all know to be reality, suddenly standing in the realm of a cartoonist's imagination, transfigured by the laws of physics into cartoon characters. So, pop quiz: how do I react?

"Dib? I asked. "What is water composed of?" He gave me a funny look as we walked side by side through the park.

"Two atoms of hydrogen bonded to one atom of oxygen." He replied with a sigh. This line of questioning was now five minutes old, and seemingly taking it's toll on the poor boy's mind. I scribbled some more notes down in my small notepad.

"Who was Louis Pasteur?" My next question ran. Dib groaned and massaged his temples.

"He discovered that bacteria can be _killed_ through a heating _process_ that was later named after _him_!" Dib exclaimed. "Haven't you figured it out yet that your world parallels mine almost exactly, even though this world is just a cartoon in yours?"

"Yuh huh." I replied. "So...what does the government have at Area 51?" At this question, Dib perked up. His eyes slittered with a bit of that which can be called fanaticism by some.

"_They_ say that it's just a normal military installation." Dib began. "But the truth is, they have an alien spacecraft there that was recovered from Roswell in the 1950's, and they've been reverse engineering it to find out how to duplicate their technology." Dib smiled evilly. "The joke's on them, though. I've already figured out how to repair and _fly_ an alien ship that crashed in by backyard." He said proudly.

"That wouldn't be..._my_ ship, would it?" Tak asked accusingly as she strode beside Ana, who was still happy as a clam about being in her favorite cartoon. Dib blushed and looked at the ground.

"Well, you we're knocked into space by Zim." Dib replied meekly. "It just...you know, fell into my yard." Tak picked up her pace until she was alongside me. She looked at Dib angrilly.

"I want my ship back." She said lowly. "And you better not have done anything to it." Dib looked crushed, as though someone had told him that a beloved pet had just been hit by a Mack truck.

"Tak." I said bitterly before she could say anything else. She looked up at me, and her expression softened. It was she now who looked at the ground.

"Sorry." She muttered. She slid her hand into mine. Dib looked at us a moment, then smiled a little.

"I'm glad you found someone, Tak." He said. Tak glanced at him questioningly, but Dib turned away. "Are you guys hungry?" Dib asked.

"Yeah!" Ana exclaimed. "I want Chickey Lickey...no...uh, Krazy Taco!" I understood. She was anxious to experience everything this world had to offer. But, we were scientists, damnit, and I wanted to at least halfway act like one.

"Guys," I said. "Perhaps it would be better if we found Professor Membrane, and saw about getting home."

"But we just got here." Ana whined. "Come on, Doc, can't we just stay for a while." I turned to see her smile a sly smile in my direction. "You know, for research purposes?" I sighed and shook my head in frustration.

"All right. We can stay for 24 hours." I said. "But we stay together." I added. "As much as you may like being here, this is still a different universe with different rules, and..." I paused and stared as we passed a guy in a tee shirt reading 'Toilet Taco' danced the robot for a coin-tossing crowd. "We just need to be careful." I concluded.

When a flavor of food can't be categorized, people often say "It tastes like chicken". Well, this dimension must undoubtedly be the only place in all planes of existence where chicken _doesn't_ taste like chicken. At the Chickry Licky, the five of us sat at a booth, trying to enjoy our fried chicken, which tasted more like dirty dishwater and fried potatoes _mixed_ with chicken. Actually, Four of us dined on the feast of the gods. Tak of course excluded herself from the pleasure.

"Oh," Aston groaned after his first bite. "It tastes like Colonel Sanders' stomach bile." I laughed until I took a bite.

"Bloody hell." I commented. "Chick-fill-A this in _not_." Ashton looked down at his plate as Dib stiffled a laugh. Tak looked more disgusted than usual at the food.

"Uh, excuse me," Ashton called to the guy behind the counter. "Can I have my slaw?"

"You _have_ your slaw, sir." The guy shot back. Ashton looked back at his tray.

"Uh, nnnno. I don't. Can I have my slaw?"

"You have your slaw, sir!" For some reason, Ana thought all of this was funnier than a Simon Pegg movie, and burst out in laughter. They guy and girl behind the counter looked at us like we were giant amoebas.

"We're tourists." I said.

After the great meal of epic proportions (yes I'm still being sarcastic), we left the Chickey Lickey, hopefully for good, and set out to experience more of this new world. Since Ana seemed to be the expert, the rest of us, including Dib, tagged along. I hoped that she knew what she was doing as she led us onto a bus which took us to a fairly run down part of town. I tried to ask her what we were doing, but all she would say was 'Something I've always wanted to do.'

We stepped off of the bus, and followed Ana down a street for a couple of blocks. She stopped in front of an old decrepit house, the front yard overgrown with weeds.

"Ana, what are doing at this old dump?" Ashton asked. "It looks deserted."

"Trust me," Ana replied. "It's not."

"But the only person who would live here is some...homicidal maniac or something." Aston argued. Ana smiled playfully.

"Exactly." She said. It hit me. Oh god.

"What are you going to do?" I inquired suspiciously.

"Oh, I'm just going to go up and ring the doorbell. When he answers, I'm going to say one word, then we run like hell."

"Ana, don't." I warned. But she only giggled a bit, and moved toward the house.

"Uh, what's going on?" Dib asked, confused.

"Yeah," Ashton added. "What's she doing?"

"You don't wanna know." I replied. "Just be ready to bid a hasty bloody retreat." I grasped Tak's hand tightly. Ana crept up to the door of the old house. She looked back at us like a kid who is about to egg his first house. She pressed the doorbell, which sounded amazingly like a man screaming. After a few moments the door opened a few inches.

"What?" An angry voice asked. We could see a young man with wild black hair peering through the slightly opened door.

"WACKY!" Ana screamed, then turned and ran. The door flew open, and the black clad young man stormed out onto his doorstep.

"WACKY?!" He screamed. "I _hate_ that fucking word!" As Ana reached us, we all ran like Old Nick himself was after us. "Waaaackyyyy?! You think I'm fucking wacky?!" The bloke's osceneties faded as we put as much distance between us and that cursed house as possible. We finally stopped to catch our breath at the bus stop.

"Who...who was that...guy?" Dib panted.

"Oh," Ana replied nonchalantly. "Just a guy who'se killed a hundred or so people in the most gruesome ways imaginable." Dib looked as though he were about to faint.

"Okay," I said. "Enough trying to get us all killed. I think we should find the professor."

"I'll take you to my house." Dib offered. "Dad'll probably be home soon."

"He won't mind?" I asked.

"Nah." Dib replied with a wave of his hand. "He'll probably be happy that I'm actually hanging out with "real scientists" for a change."

"Alright." I said with a shrug. "Lead the way."

_What did you think? I deduced that since this universe was created by Jhonen's imagination, things might be a little different (a.e. the taste of the chicken). I also figured that Johnny C. would probably exist in this world as well, and I really wanted to give him a cameo. I promise that more IZ characters will make an appearance later. Well, as always, reviews are requested. Until next chapter, cheerio._


	5. Chapter 5: Insane in the Mebrane House

CHAPTER 5: Insane in the Membrane...House

_It certainly looks like the sequel will be longer than the original. This chapter, however, will be shorter than usual. I'm not feeling quite myself today, and my writing suffers when I do. Though short, I feel this chapter will set the stage for many things to come in the future. So enjoy. I own nothing but the OC's. Reviews, or I'll hunt you down, and force you to tell me what you thought of it. Just kidding._

"Hello?" Dib called as he pushed open the door to his family's large house. "Dad, are you home?"

"Be quiet!" A female voice snapped from somewhere within the house. It could only be Gaz. Dib turned to us with a nervous smile.

"Dad's probably not home yet, but you guys can come in and make yourselves at home." He said. He led us into the house, which was strange for a reason that's hard to explain. Our perception is everything. We're used to seeing the outside of a house, and stepping inside, expecting the interior dimensions to correlate roughly with those of the outside. This is why it's hard to buid a secret room onto a house. It won't "feel" right inside. In short, the Membrane house seemed to have different dimensions inside than it did outside, and it took a while to get used to the phenomena.

"I can't believe I'm actually here." Ana said giddily. "It's so...awesome!" I reiterate: like a kid in a candy store.

We passed into the living room, where a young purple-haired girl sat on the sofa, engrossed in a video game consisting of a vampire-like character battling flying demonic pigs. Dib cleared his throat.

"Gaz?" He began. "This is Dr. Drake and his team of researchers."

"More of your wierd sci-fi friends?" Gaz scoffed without even looking up from her game. "Go away Dib, I'm busy." It's funny to watch on the tele, but to see Gaz treat her brother so badly in real life (kind of) was just deplorable. Dib's head fell a bit.

"Hey, Dib." Ana said cheerfully, more than likely trying to make him feel better. "Can I see your room? I bet you have alot more cool SETI stuff than the show revealed." Dib smiled.

"Sure, guys. This way." He led us past the couch toward the stairs. As we neared the stairs, I heard Ashton seal his doom.

"You know, you should be ashamed of the way you treat your brother." I heard him say. Oh, bollocks.

"Excuse me?" Gaz's voice replied. I wasn't getting involved in this one, and I turned to see Ana give me a look as if to say 'He's on his own'.

"Your brother's a good kid." Ashton said. "You don't have to be such an evil wench all the time." He should _really_ start watching the show more.

We entered Dib's room. Actually, Dib, myself, Tak and Ana _walked_ in. Ashton _limped_ in, holding an icepack over his left eye.

"Well, guys," Dib said proudly. "This is it." Honestly, the show does not do it justice. Dib's room looked more like Houston Space Command than a kid's bedroom. Books on astronomy, physics, the paranormal, and anything that ends in "-ology" filled several small bookshelves, and littered the floor. Instead of band or movie posters, Dib had posters of human anatomy, and enlarged photos of UFO's and strange animals. His high-tech computer had a tower built by "Gray", which was probably this realm's equivalent of Cray.

"So, what do you think?" He asked as he picked up a set of expensive night-vision goggles from the floor, and tossed them onto the bed. I found myself staring at a dry-erase board that had various equations and drawings scribbled on it. It looked to be a blueprint and formulas for some type of antimatter propulsion engine. Tak looked at me, and then to the board.

"It's a breakdown of a Spittle Cruiser's main drive." Tak muttered. She looked at Dib questioningly. "You actually figured out an Irken space cruiser's engine?"

"Yeah, well..." Dib said. "It's been kind of a side project."

"Not bad, Dib." Tak smiled. "Maybe you're smarter than even I thought." Dib blushed for a moment.

"Thanks, I guess." He said with a smile. Hold on a minute. Was Dib flirting with Tak? Or was it the other way 'round? Or am I a standard male, protecting his mate from possible competition from other males in a new habitat?

"Love?" I said, placing my hand on Tak's shoulder. She looked up at me. Even in her cartoon human form, the violet irises of her eyes were so beautiful. "Since were here, aren't you curious as to what Zim is up to?" She gave me an evil grin.

_Well, like I said, it was short, but I think it was good nonetheless. Maybe I'll get another chapter up later tonight. Well, until next chapter, as always, cheerio._


	6. Chapter 6: The Professor

CHAPTER 6: The Professor

_Hello there. I'm back after a lengthy hiatus. In this break, I've decided where to take this story, and as I thought, I believe this one will be at least twice the length of it's predecessor. In this chapter, we meet Professor Membrane. There won't be much in the way of action, adventure, or Tak and Drake interaction in this chapter, but there is a reason for that. This is one of my famous catalytic chapters, and serves to set up future events. So, enjoy, and give me reviews so I'll know what you think. Please? It's not so terribly taxing to give me a review, is it? _

Professor Membrane is a more imposing figure than you would expect. The lot of us were in Dib's livingroom, watching "Mysterious Mysteries of Strange Mystery", a show combining the cheesiness of Conan O' Brian with the Paranormal intrigue of "Sightings", when the Professor arrived home. As he stepped into the house, Dib stood exitedly, and made the introductions.

"Dad," Dib said, "I'd like you to meet Dr. Drake and his team." I stood and bowed lightly.

"Professor Membrane." I said coordially. "It's an honor to meet you." Professor Membrane, standing an impressive 6' 2", his eyes hidden behind a pair of high tech goggles, brought a gloved hand to his chin.

"Hmmm." He replied. "I trust you're a _real scientist_ (Yes, he did the hand gesture), and not another one of Dib's _insane_ friends?" I took this golden opportunity to both get on the Professor's good side, as well as make Dib look good in the eyes of his father.

"Indeed, sir." I replied in the aristocratic, learned way of a true englishman of good class. "I am a thoretical physicist and astrobiologist currently working in Cambridge. My team and I have hit a...spot of a snag with one of our experiments, and we were hoping you could provide us with some advice." Membrane listened attentively, now pleased to have a fellow man of science in his house. "Your son Dib is really quite intelligent, Professor." I added. "I may have to steal him to work on my team when he gets older." And an impeccably placed bit of humor, and...

"Well, Doctor." Membrane said happily. "You and your team are very much welcome here. Can I get you...perhaps some refreshments?"

"No, thank you." I replied with a smile. "Dib has already seen to that."

"Well in that case," Membrane remarked. "I suppose we can take to the lab, and discuss your little problem. I'm sure it's just a simple miscalculation or something. Right this way." He gestured the four of us out of the room. Tak turned as she exited the room.

"Later, Dib." She said in a friendly tone. Maybe a little too friendly, or once again, it could've been my imagination...grrrrr.

"Son," I heard Membrane say to Dib. "I never knew you had such friends. And a job proposal at your age? What do you say we go out for pizza later, father to son?"

"That...that would be great, Dad." Dib replied with astonishment. My good deed for the month.

"So, Doctor," Membrane began as he sat cross-legged in a lab chair. "What seems to be the problem?" Membrane's basement lab was bloody bigger than mine!

"Well," I said nervously, glancing at Tak, then back to the Professor. "We were working on a project...using a linnec to produce an interdimensional gateway,"

"I see." Membrane muttered, unphased by the gravity of such an experiment.

"The first time it worked, we were able to bring a being through."

"What sort of being?" Membrane asked with a little intrest.

"That's just it, professor." I replied. "The being was of _your_ world." Membrane's eyes must have certainly grown larger behind his goggles at this.

"You're saying..." He said with amazement. I nodded lightly.

"The second time it worked, we used the same numbers from the previous trial, and we were... sort of accidentally sent into this dimension." Membrane stood up, and looked at us for a moment.

"You're saying that you're actually beings from another dimension?" Membrane asked.

"I'm afraid so, professor." I confessed. Ana nodded in affirmation. Ashton gave an indifferent shrug.

"If you're serious, do you know what this means?" Membrane asked. Let me think...no. "It means that we have to rethink existence. If it was so easy to just stumble blindly into another dimension, it calls into question whether or not all dimensions could have been accidentally formed by such experiments. It was a reckless move on your part to do such a thing, doctor."

"I realize that, professor," I agreed. "As I said, it was an accident we ended up here anyway. The problem we face is, how do we get back?"

"Hmm." Membrane mused. "If you have any of your notes with you, I may be able to reverse the process, and send you back. But one thing, doctor."

"Anything, professor."

"No one can know about this. You realize that if word of this got out, religions would fall, society would crumble. It is a scientific breakthrough, be sure, but one the world isn't quite ready for...yours or mine. I would ask, with no offense intended, that once you leave, you never return" I reached under my labcoat, and took my small notebook from the pocket of my black dress shirt. I handed it to the professor.

"I'm sure I understand." I agreed, as he took the notebook. Membrane flipped through the pages, scratching his chin and mumbling as he went. Finaly, he looked up.

"I believe I can do it. It will take a while, though to reconfigure my particle accelerator to perform such a task."

"How long are we talking?" Ashton asked.

"A couple of days should tell the tale." Membrane replied. "Until then..."

"We'll be about." I said. "We'd like to take in more of your dimension." Membrane gave me a stern look. "Covertly, of course."

"In that case," Membrane said. "Return in two days." He turned to his desk, and began scribbling numbers onto a pad of paper, using my notebook for referance.

"Thank you." I said.

"Always glad to help a man of science." Membrane said without turning around. "Two days."

_Well? Like? Hate? Wanna send me letters threatening the life of my cat? I'll post the next chapter soon, as not to keep you wanting. So, until then, cheerio._


	7. Chapter 7: Alien Experiences

CHAPTER 7: Alien Experiences

_Here it is, the chapter most of you have probably been waiting for, the chapter where the characters finally meet...HIM. What can be said? Read and review._

"So," I asked as we regrouped in the Membrane living room. "What do you guys want to do?"

"We could go to Bloaty's," Ana began happily. "Then...then tease the saucer morons, and watch The Scary Monkey show, and see the cool cemetary with the LED headstones..." She looked like she could explode from giddiness, which with Ana, might be medically possible.

"Right." I said. "Ashton?"

"Sleep for 48 hours." Ashton replied. I love these guys.

"Well," Tak said. "There is something I've been wanting to do."

"Okay, love," I said. "Shoot."

"I'd like to see Zim." Tak said, narrowing her eyes evily. Oh boy. I knew that getting her anywhere _near_ Zim would result in a cataclysmic battle that would make Normandy look like a duck hunt.

"Allright." I said with a shrug. "Why not." Tak grinned like the devil upon receiving a new soul. "Just one thing." I added. "No death, decapitation, desentigration, or dismemberment." Tak looked at me with suprise mixed with perhaps a little sadness. She looked at the floor, and kicked the carpet lightly.

"But why?" She whined, giving me the puppy dog eyes.

"Remember our talks about the value of life?"

"But Zim doesn't count." Tak countered. "He'd as soon kill me as to look at me."

"Then don't go." I replied.

"Allright." Tak agreed. "I won't destroy him...unless it's self defense. But I may hit him."

"Okay." I said.

"Many times." She added.

"Right."

"With profanity."

Zim's house, it must be said, looks even stranger in person that it does on the tele. The misshapen windows, the crooked walls, the lawn decor, it all screams "Hi, I'm an alien, look at me.". Either that, or it looks like Martha Stuart's worst bloody nightmare. I was hesitant to approach the carnival-esqe abode, until Tak began walking fearlessly toward the structure. Ana, Ashton and I followed as she strode past the lawn gnomes, and up to the front door. She rapped repeatedly on the door, and stood with her arms crossed, an impatient scowl on her face.

"You sure you know what you're doing, sweetheart?" I asked.

"I'm sure." She whispered. There were footsteps in the house.

"I've already told you stink-beasts," A voice called. "that I do not wish to purchase any of this Gee-bus stuff!" The doorknob rattled. This was it. The door swung open.

Zim, standing an impressive three feet tall stood in all his...ahem...glory, if you want to call it that, in his human "disguise". He looked at us quizzically, his gaze finally settling on...

"Tak?" Zim said with surprise.

"Hello, Zim." Tak said coldly, then punched him squarely in the face. Zim stumbled back a few steps, then recovered himself. He lunged forward, his fists and teeth bared, but was caught in the abdomen by a powerful kick from Tak.

"Oooo." Ana commented. Zim coughed out his breath, and took a wild swing, hitting Tak in the head. She fell back against the door frame, then sprung off of it with a growl, performing a tackle that would make a Greenbay Packer proud. Zim fell to the floor, with Tak on top of him.

"You thieving, defective traitor!" Zim screamed, rolling over, forcing Tak to the floor. "You're not taking my mission!" He headbutted Tak, who rolled Zim over, again pinning him to the carpet.

"I'm not here for your fake little mission, you idiot!" Tak yelled, gripping Zim's shoulders and slamming him repeatedly into the floor. "I'm here to kick your defective ass!" She slapped him, clawing his face with her nails. "Try to kill me, will you?" A little robot disguised as a green dog came walking through the room, and seeing the action, he dropped the slushy drink he had been sucking on, and took on a fighting stance.

"Master's in trouble!" He gasped. He then shrugged, began humming a simple tune, and walked past the fight, causing Zim and Tak to stop the battle to watch the robot as he casually strolled past the lot of us, out the door, and down the street. I should say "strange" at this point, but...eh.

"Get off me!" Zim roared, throwing Tak off, and leaping to his feet. "You tried to take _my_ mission from_ me_. I had every right to be mad." He looked at us, then back to his enemy. "So, Tak, you bring an army of humans to do one Irken's job, huh? Huh? Is the almighty Zim too much for you to handle alone?"

"That's it, you bastard!" Tak screamed. "I'm gonna rip your head off!" She lept at Zim, who lunged at Tak. The two collided in a melee of fists, boots, teeth, and claws. Tak took a few punches and kicks, but soon got the better of Zim. She delivered a roundhouse kick to his head, then catching him stunned, grabbed him by the throat with both hands, and pinned him to the wall. Zim gripped her wrists, but was unable to pry her hands from his neck.

"Stop...Tak." Zim rasped. Tak lifted him off of the floor, murder in her eyes.

"This is how you die, Zimmy." Tak growled. Zim coughed weakly, his face twisted in pain at the need for air. Okay, this had gone on long enough.

"Tak, stop!" I ordered. She did not relent. I could see Zim's chest heaving as his body tried desperately to get oxygen. His hands slid weakly down her arms. Oh bollocks.

"Tak, you're killing him!" I yelled. "Stop!" She was seemingly possessed by the kill. I ran over and grabbed Tak by the shoulders, pulling her back sharply, and causing her to fall back on me. I stumbled to the floor, and Tak landed on top of me. Zim, free from Tak's clutches, fell to the floor, gasping for air. Tak instinctively gave me a solid fist to the face, then lept back to her feet to finish the job. Then, she stopped. She turned to me, looking into my eyes. She looked to Zim for a moment, then back to me, a fearful expression on her face.

"Oh, Irk," She whispered, looking at her hands. "I'm sorry, Drake. I'm so sorry." Tak fell to her knees, a look of horror in her eyes. "I'm sorry." I quickly crawled over, and she fell into my arms.

"It's okay." I whispered. "You didn't mean it. It's okay."

"I wanted to kill him." Tak whispered. "And I struck you. I...Drake." She hugged me tighter. "I'm sorry." Zim rose on his knees, holding his throat and coughing dramatically. When he saw Tak and I, his arms fell.

"Wha?" He said raggedly. "You...and...a human? That's forbidden...you're weak!"

"Shut up Zim!" I yelled. "We're scientists, and we could slice you up like the fruitcake you are if we wanted." Zim looked around fearfully for a moment, then regained his composure.

"I'm a normal human worm baby." He said matter-of-factly.

"You're Irken." Ana said, walking into the house. "You serve the Almighty Tallest, and this house is your base of operations."

"Wha...who..." Zim stammered.

"Water hurts your race, and so does meat." I added. "Your PAK keeps you alive." I lightly petted Tak's blue hair as I continued to hold her.

"And...uh..." Ashton said, stepping in. "Your ship is called a...um...Voot Runner." He looked at Ana. "Right?" She nodded approvingly.

"How do you know this?" Zim asked suspiciously. "Tak! You told the humans about our race? About me? You're a traitor!" Tak pulled away from me, and looked at Zim.

"You think I'd sell out our people so easily, you moron?" She said, playing up the moment. "You were too careless. They figured you out." She narrowed her eyes. "They know all about you, and unlike you, I have diplomatic immunity." She lied. I got it. She was trying to scare Zim the best way she knew how: by making him believe his mission failed. Unfortunately, it backfired...rather horribly.

"You forget one thing." Zim said angrilly. "You're in _my_ base. Computer! Seal all the exits! Security breach! Intruders!" The door slammed shut, and bars slid down over the windows. From the ceiling lowered several weapons platforms, sporting laser guns, missiles, and evil looking cutting blades. Zim cackled darkly. "You're in my base, and now you're all prisoners of Zim."

Now, all of the laser injuries, experiments, and whatnot look funny on the show, but as we were about to find out, they're not quite so funny when you're the one on the receiving end of them. In fact, they're no laughing matter at all.

_How did you like this little chapter? It looks like the gang are in some deep wasabi now, huh? Well, I want 100,000 reviews in small, non sequential words put into the trash recepticle on the corner of Fifth and Main, or you'll never see (insert name of specific loved one here) again. Heh he he...a bit of humor. Anyway, until the next chapter, stay tuned. Cheerio. _


	8. Chapter 8: Captured

CHAPTER 8: Captured

_I'm back, my loyal readers. I'm back with a new chapter, and a better computer. Liking the story so far? I hope so. Of course, it's hard to tell. My thanks go out to Mikenator, Raggi, and my friends Grogie 13 and Project of the Damned for all of the support on this fic. The rest of you, the ones who are reading this and not reviewing (you know who you are), start reviewing. I need to know what people think, and I'm no bloody mind reader. Anyway, read. Enjoy. Repeat as necessary. I own not that which is Zim. It owns me, or "pwns" me, as you bloody kids say. _

"This is...just bloody great." I said, inspecting the laser bars of the high tech cage Zim had forced me into. Next to my cage, Ana sat slumped against the solid back wall, quietly pouting at her situation. Across the narrow walkway, Tak and Ashton sat in similar cells, side by side. Of course Ashton was keeping a level head through all of this.

"We're gonna die!" Ashton screamed. "We're gonna get probed and experimented on, and he's gonna kill us!"

"No one's going to die, Ashton." I said calmly, assessing the situation. I pulled a pen from my pocket, and stuck it into one of the bars. The pen melted quickly under the blue light. Yep, laser bars. I looked to Ana.

"Ana?" I asked. "You alright?" She looked at me sadly.

"It's...It's not all I though it would be." She said. "We could really die here."

"I can't believe it." Tak said. "I've actually been captured by that idiot.. Stupid! Stupid!" She exclaimed, lightly hitting her head against the wall of her cell.

"What do you think his plans are for us, love?" I asked.

"Knowing Zim," Tak began. "He'll probably try to splice our DNA with a squirrel, or turn us into zombie soldiers or something." Zombie soldiers. That's...that's wonderful. Give Max Brooks more ammo. We had to escape. But how? High heat laser bars...an idea.

"Tak," I called. "Are these bars operating the same way an infrared beam operates?"

"No. They have a generator, connected to each independent diode. The lasers are refracted by a nonconductive prism, where the energy is dispersed."

"What's the heat output?"

"About 600 degrees centigrade." Tak replied.

"Is each beam independently fused?" I asked. Tak looked at me for a moment, then I saw the idea hit her as well.

"No, only the main power source on each cell." She said, inspecting her own cell.

"Ana?' I asked. "Please tell me that you have a mirror." Ana looked at me questioningly, then pulled a compact from the pocket of her black miniskirt. Wait...miniskirts have pockets? She carefully handed the mirror to me through the beams. I opened the small mirror, and hoped that it was metal backed.

"I only have one shot at this." I said, looking to my comrades. "Cross your bloody fingers." I sighed, then slowly slid the mirror into one of the beams. One slip, one well-placed imperfection in the lens, and I could burn my face off. Fortunately, I was able to avoid such an event, and positioned the mirror just right. It reflected the laser back into the diode, which quickly burned out, shorting out the circuit in my cell. The remaining bars of blue light died, and I slid from the cage.

I looked for a switch or lever to deactivate the rest of the cells, as the mirror was too damaged to safely attempt another high tech escape. I spied an instrument panel beside Tak's cell, and rushed to the controls, searching for a way to shut down the laser system. Nothing looked promising.

"Where's the shutoff? I asked in a panic. Where's the sodding switch?"

"Drake?" Tak asked. I ran my fingers over the switches, which were marked for everything under the sun except the cells and the kitchen sink...oh, wait, there's the kitchen sink.

"Drake!" Tak said louder. I looked over at her. "Go. Get help."

"I'm not leaving you." I replied coldly. "I'm not leaving any of you." Hey, there was switch all along, the big lever with "Cells On/Off clearly marked. I was without question, an Invader Zim character now. I pulled the lever, and immediately, the cells' bars died.

"Come on," I said, helping Tak from the cage. "We should think about leaving before Zim decides to come play doctor." The four of us stole down the corridor, trying to avoid any possible security systems the base might have. Tak suddenly grasped my lab coat, and pulled me against a large computer terminal.

"Drake," She whispered. "Even if we make it to the upper levels, we'll never escape the perimeter. The only way out is through the house, which is probably still in lockdown mode."

"We can find a way out." I assured.

"Outside?" Tak asked. "Those lawn gnomes of his are camouflaged laser weapons platforms. We'll be killed, even if we somehow manage to make it out of this idiot's base."

"Tak's right." Ana agreed. "I've seen the show enough to know what we're going to be up against. Robot claws, missiles, evil lawn gnomes, cyborg zombie gophers…"

"Alright, alright, I've got the picture." I said. "What do you recommend?" Tak smiled, and pulled a small cellphone-looking device from her PAK. Zim didn't even search us?

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Phoning a friend." Tak replied. She pushed a few buttons on the device.

"Hel…hello?" A voice asked over the device's small speaker.

"Dib." Tak said.

"Tak?" Dib's voice asked with surprise.

"Dib, listen to me." Tak said with a soldierly air. "We've been captured by Zim. We're in his base, and we need to find a way out. Fast."

"O…okay, Tak. You guys okay?" Dib's voice replied. I could hear faint typing over the communicator. "I've got a program here…I just gotta see if I…can…I'm in. I'm in Zim's computer." Smart kid.

"Find us an exit." Tak said stoically. Wow, she kind of reminded me of the Matrix girl just then.

"Okay. Go straight until you come to an access panel." We followed Dib's instructions, finally coming to a large metal grate.

"Okay Dib, we're here." Tak said.

"Where?" Dib asked.

"Wher..the access pan..on the moon, where do you think.?"

"Sorry. Sorry. You guys need to go through the access panel." Tak grabbed the grate, and ripped it from the wall. She leaned in for a moment, then pulled her head out and looked at me with a frustrated sigh.

"It's an elevator shaft." She said.

"Guys?" Dib's voice came over the communicator. "You're gonna have to climb. That's an elevator shaft."

"Yeah…thanks." Tak said cynically. She looked at me and the others. "Looks like we're going up the hard way."

_Well, there's the long anticipated chapter 8. Chapter 9 will be up soon. It's amazing what no sleep, too much caffeine, and too much nicotine, combined with a genuine loathing for one's existence can do for the creative process. I'm off to write more. Till next chapter, cheerio._


	9. Chapter 9: Escape

CHAPTER 9: Escape

_As I promised, I've gotten chapter 9 finished in short order, to partially make amends for my lack of writing in the past few days. I've just been busy (I AM a scientist after all), and most of my spare time was spent with a friend, engineering a new secret "weapon" to be revealed at the next scenario-based air soft battle I take part in. But, you're probably not at all interested in my personal affairs. "Shut up, doctor, give us the Ziiiim!" You shout. Alright, here is chapter 9, for your reading pleasure. Enjoy. I own only the original characters._

Oh yes, the elevator shaft. You've heard horror stories about chaps trying to conquer Everest. You've surely seen footage of Royal Marines training with the whole climbing a rope thing. Well fortunately, it was nothing like that. There was, in fact, a ladder built inside the shaft. Had you going there for a minute, didn't I?

We climbed the ladder, Tak taking the lead, and scanning for any security systems Zim might have had in the shaft. Fortunately, his vast intellect hadn't led him to consider intruders in the lift. After climbing for hours (or about four minutes to be exact), Dib's voice came over the communicator again.

"You guys okay?" He asked.

"We're having a _great_ time, Dib." Tak replied facetiously. "Where's this exit, anyway?"

"Uhhh, you should see a hatch. It should read "fabrication". Tak looked around, Sure enough, the double doors of an emergency escape hatch lay right above her. "Go through that door." Tak extended the spider legs from her PAK, and jammed the tips in between the doors. I moved up the ladder until I was bracing her with my body. In case something went wrong, I didn't want my girlfriend taking a nasty tumble down the elevator shaft. She pried the doors forcefully, and they opened with a crack. Tak slightly fell back, her body pressing into mine, her PAK's spider legs wrapping around me. She turned her head back to look at me, and smiled.

"Hello, love." I said with a slight grin. "Fancy meeting _you_ here." Tak folded the spider legs back into her PAK, and replied with a seductive smile and a slow blink, before giving me a kiss on the cheek. She gave a small giggle, before quickly diving through the opening. I'll never understand the female of the species…any specie at that.

I climbed through the opening next, and stood, straightening my lab coat as I stood, more out of habit than a desire to be proper. TAK stood, wide eyed, looking at something. Curious as to what could have captured her attention, I glanced toward what she was looking at and froze in astonishment. Ana came through the door next, and quickly joined out gawking group. Ashton came grumbling and complaining out of the elevator shaft, and was the last to see it. He too was no match for its allure.

A human pancreas floated inside a huge glass cylinder filled with a transparent, bubbling green liquid. Tubes and wires spread from the eight foot containment cylinder in a web of…who knows what. The wires and tubes ran into at least a dozen monitors and just as many computer-looking devices. The screens were filled with cascading Irken writing and numbers. Every few seconds a beep, whir or buzz would come from somewhere in the room.

"W…well," I finally managed to croak. "That's…a helluva thing."

"Yes…" Ana said, entranced.

"What _is_ that?" Ashton asked, not taking his eyes from the scene. "Is that…is that a pancreas?"

"Yuh-huh." I replied, just as vexed.

"It's so pretty." Ana said. "It's like…a lava lamp."

"Let's get out of here." I commented. "Now." We continued across the fabrication room, glancing at more of Zim's "experiments", some wantonly bizarre, and others borderline idiotic. We soon came to another door. Tak dialed up Dib on the communicator again.

"Okay, Dib." She said. "We're in the fabrication room, so where do we go now?" There was no answer from the communicator. "Dib?" Tak repeated. No answer. "Dib! Damn!" She lowered the communicator and sighed. Tak and I exchanged worried glances. We were at a dead end.

"That's it then." Ashton muttered, slumping to the floor, leaning against a shelf. "We're dead. We're not making it out, and that's it." He sighed forlornly, and placed his head in his hands.

"No." Ana sighed, kneeling beside Ashton. "You have to stop giving up so easily. We're getting out of here, all of us." Ashton looked up at Ana questioningly, like a child who's just been told that there's nothing under his bed.

"You think so?" He asked with a tinge of disbelief.

"After all we've been through," Ana replied. "I have no doubt we're going to make it out of this." He gave a small scoff and a smile.

"Thanks, Ana." He said. "It's just that I'm a physicist…I never thought I'd end up in the middle of some bad Sliders episode. I like balance, you know. And this…"

"Upsets the little microcosm of a world you've created for yourself." Ana said, nodding.

"Yeah." He muttered. Ana smiled, and helped him to his feet. The like-fest was interrupted by a clanging sound from inside one of the ventilation ducts. Tak deployed her PAK's legs, and I grabbed an Erlenmeyer flask containing a liquid that I hoped to be acid, and we stood ready for who or whatever could burst forth from the vent. There was another metallic clunk, and Ana grabbed a carbon rod, and held it like a baseball player. The vent cover squeaked, and we readied ourselves. I immediately remembered that movie "Aliens", and gripped the flask tighter. The vent cover screeched again, and with a laughable display of clumsiness, Dib fell out of the vent duct onto the floor.

"Dib?!" Tak exclaimed. "What are you doing here?" Dib stood and dusted himself off.

"Rescuing you guys, I guess." He replied with a raised eyebrow. "I thought It'd be easier to lead you from here on. We have to go through the ducts, but don't worry, I've memorized Zim's ventilation schematic, so…"

"Right, let's move." Tak interrupted. "Dib, you lead the way. I'll take the rear, just in case." Dib nodded, and took a small flashlight from the pocket of his black trench coat. He crawled into the vent duct.

"Ana, you and Ashton go next." I said. "We'll be right behind you."

"Oh, goodie, another duct adventure." Ashton said cynically. "I can hardly contain my glee." Ana giggled, and took him by the hand, leading him into the duct. I turned to Tak.

"Be careful, love." I said, kneeling to her eye level. She smiled sweetly.

"You worry too much about me, Drake." She said. "Go on, I'll be right behind you. I smiled, and gave her a kiss on the lips.

"You look good." I said. She nodded lightly.

"So do you. Now go." I crawled into the duct, following the light from Dib's flashlight. I heard Tak enter behind me, and the merry lot of us began our journey through the metal duct to freedom.

The last duct I had the pleasure of crawling through was a walk in the bloody park compared to this one. We slithered through a couple hundred yards of ductwork until I finally saw daylight up ahead. I reached the end of the line, and spilled out onto Zim's lawn. Tak exited behind me, and I stood to see the others, pressed against the wall of Zim's house like a SWAT team on maneuvers. Tak and I joined them in short order.

"Okay." Dib whispered, narrowing his eyes. We have to get past Zim's gnome field, and make it to the road. Then, were home free."

"How dangerous are these…attack gnomes?" I asked in a low voice.

"I dunno." Dib admitted. "I don't think Zim has ever used them to their full capacity against me. They can lock onto targets automatically, and have lasers, grappling claws, and who knows what else.

"Great." I said. "So how do we get past them?

"I…I don't know." Dib sighed. "I came in cloaked."

"I have an idea." Tak said. "Once I get out there, head for the road."

"Tak, love…" I began.

"It's alright, sweet." Tak said. "It's time to show Zim that he's met his match." With that, Tak leapt around the side of the house. The gnomes immediately turned toward her and fired. She easily jumped over the beams, and with a battle cry, extended her PAK's legs, coming down on the first gnome with a kick that promptly removed its head. Two more gnomes on opposite sides of Tak fired, but Tak dodged the blasts, and the beams impacted the gnomes, who exploded with twin showers of sparks.

"Whoa." Dib said. "She's good."

"Shall we go then?" I shrugged. We walked past the carnage as Tak blasted a gnome with her spider legs' laser generators, the heat ray vaporizing the sentry immediately. We made it to the road and watched as Tak took out the last gnome. The metal legs folded back into the PAK, and Tak stood panting in an adrenaline-fueled anger. The house's front door flew open, and Zim came storming out of the strange looking house.

"Tak!" Zim spat angrily. "Look what you've done to my gnomes! I don't know how you managed to escape, but I'll…" He spied Dib standing among us. "Dib" He growled. "Just you wait…all of you. You will rue the day you messed with Zim! Begin the ruing!"

"Shut up." Tak said coldly, throwing a gnome part, and hitting Zim in the head, knocking him to the ground. "Come near me or my friends again, and I'll rip your antennas off. Got it, Zim?" Zim stood, and looked at Tak with a hurt yet still angry expression.

"You don't dare…"

"I _dare_ what I want. You're nothing but a sad waste of air, you worthless, defective little moron. Your mission is a lie. You're nothing to the Tallest, and you're nothing to me but a sad little insect who's too stupid to realize he's stupid. Now I have better things to do than to rid the universe of a cockroach like you, so goodbye, Zim." She narrowed her eyes menacingly. " Hope…that we never meet again." With that, Tak turned her back on Zim, and joined us. Zim stood in the doorway, a stunned expression on his face. Tak looked up to see the content expression on my face.

"What?" She asked as we began walking down the sidewalk.

"You did good." I said. "You killed your enemy without laying a finger on him." Tak smiled.

"Am I a jedi now, master?" She asked jokingly.

"Damnit Ashton." I remarked. "Stop making her watch Star Wars." Ashton looked back and shrugged with a grin.

"Does the Lucas epic need any justification?" He asked. Ana laughed, lightly slapping Ashton on the back of the head. Instead of complaining, he gave a small smile to her, which she caught, and blushed slightly. Oh boy.

"So," Dib said. "You guys wanna go back to my house? There's going to be a Mysterious Mysteries marathon on tonight.

"Sure." I replied. "I think we've all had enough adventure for one day."

"No argument." Ashton agreed. I took Tak's hand in mine, and we made our way back toward the Membrane house.

_Oh, for the everloving bloody sake of her majesty the Queen, I've finally finished this chapter! I thought I'd never get it done. Well, it's 5:00 in the morning, and I'm tired, so expect another chapter…I dunno, in the near future. Reviews, please. Till next time, cheerio._


	10. Chapter 10: The Death of Camelot

CHAPTER 10: The Death of Camelot

_I'm back with another chapter. You've probably all been waiting for the true "conflict" of the story to arise, huh? Well, it does so in this chapter. Are you ready? Keep reading, keep reviewing, and I'll keep writing. Caution: use of the "F" word in this chapter. I own not that which is Zim. _

We sat at the small kitchen table in the dining room of Dib's house. Dib had brought in an extra chair for himself, and the five of us sat drinking tea (Tak of course having omitted the tea), and talking about our earlier adventure.

"Wow." Dib said for about the hundredth time. "I can't believe you guys were that deep inside Zim base."

"Aside from Zim's…" I said, pausing momentarily to find the right words to describe it. "Pancreatic bio-bubble of doom he had down there, there wasn't anything that impressive…for the base of an alien invader, that is."

"Man." Dib sighed. "I just wish I could've seen it all…and blown it up."

"We're just glad you came to the rescue." Ana said. "Or I'm sure _we_ would've become one of his wacky experiments." Ashton dropped his head to the table at the utterance of the word "wacky".

"Aww, it was nothing, guys." Dib replied with a shy smile and a wave of the hand. "It's about time someone showed Zim just how organized and effective human beings can be. He's probably still freaking out over it." Dib chuckled a bit, probably imagining Zim going emo over the great escape. "I'm really going to miss you guys when you go."

"I'm going to miss everything." Ana replied. "You, Gaz, even Zim. This place is like a dream come true." She looked at Ashton, who was just raising his head off of the table to look at Ana like she had a case of galloping pneumonic gonorrhea. "Well, at least for me."

"Well I don't know about you lot," I remarked. "But lousy chicken, cheap animation, getting kidnapped by a megalomaniac alien with tourettes syndrome, I don't think there's anything that could _keep _me in this dimension." Tak looked at me angrily and nodded.

"Anything, huh?" She asked. "Not even me?"

"I…I didn't mean it that way." I explained. "I'm not _from _this dimension, and so I'm like a fish out of water. I'd just as soon go home. Where things are…normal"

"I made an attempt to change for you and your filthy dimension." Tak said scornfully. "Remember that, Drake."

"I thought you were an invader, one who could blend in seamlessly anywhere." I remarked cynically.

"That doesn't mean I have to like it." Tak scoffed. Finally, the truth was out.

"So, I guess you'd rather be here then."

"I was fine here before." Tak said through clenched teeth.

So you pretended to be happy for _my_ benefit?" I accused. "And all the while you were only wanting to come back here, right?"

"You _know _I was homesick, Drake. You knew that. But I was content as long as I was with _you_!"

"Content?!" At this point, Dib stood, and backed out of the room, and Ana pulled Ashton out by the sleeve of his lab coat. I inhaled deeply. "I had a great, bloody nagging feeling that the only damn reason you were with me was that I numbed the pain of you being away from everything you knew. I _knew_ that if you half a bloody chance, you'd just as soon leave me to come back here!"

"Is that what you think?" Tak asked, standing from her chair. "Is that really what you think?! I fell in love with you! I was happy with you! I was more than willing to give up my past so that we could have a future. But I see that in the same spot, you'd choose everything else over me!"

"It sounds, my dear, like you're the one who'd toss _me_ aside just to go back to fighting with some incompetent moron, and taking orders from a couple of full-on fucking fuckwits!"

"Fuck you." Tak said coldly, and left the room. Oh bloody hell. What just happened? Recap: I was a bloody asshole…again. I let my tongue work faster than my brain…again. And the result? What had I done? As the gravity of the situation hit me, I buried my face in my hands, and for the first time in a long while, I wept.

_A short chapter, yes. But powerful nonetheless. So, what did you think? Now that I have your undivided attention, reviews, please. Well, I have more writing to do, so until next chapter…as always…cheerio._


	11. Chapter 11: Goodbye to You

CHAPTER 11: Goodbye to You

_This chapter takes on a melancholic tone. I was inspired by the songs "Goodbye to You" by Michelle Branch and "Every Rose Has Its Thorn" by Poison in writing this chapter. Hope you enjoy._

Ana entered the dining room, where I still sat, my head buried in my hands. She sat next to me, but remained silent. I felt her hand rest on my back.

_"_Ana." I said, slowly turning to my companion. "What have I done?"

"I…I don't know." She replied sadly. "Why did you say those things?"

"God, I don't know." I sighed. "I'm such an asshole." I felt tears form in my eyes again, but fought them back. "Where…where is she?"

"I saw her go upstairs. I think she's with Gaz."

"Think I should go talk to her?" I asked.

"I don't think that's such a good idea, Doc." Ana replied nervously. "She said something about wanting to tear your heart out the way you did hers. Then she said "Only for real.".

"I wish somebody would." I commented, standing. "I'm going. I have so…I don't know, say something." I walked past Ana, and into the living room, where Dib and Ashton gave me concerned looks as I mounted the stairs.

I could hear the music coming from Gaz's room before I even reached the landing. It was Seether and Amy Lee's "Broken", a song that can tell volumes about a person if they have it blaring loudly in a closed room. I slowly approached the door and knocked, unsure whether the occupants of the room could hear it over the music. The stereo muting answered my question. There were footsteps, then the door opened.

"What?!" Gaz asked angrily, standing with one hand on the door, and the other on the doorframe, effectively blocking the doorway. I could see Tak sitting on Gaz's bed, her back to the door.

"I just…uh…I just wanted to talk to Tak." I said.

"Maybe Tak doesn't want to talk to you, you jerk." Gaz replied. "Go away." She started to close the door, but I stopped it with my hand.

"Please." I said adamantly. "Just let me speak to her."

"Don't make me send you to a nightmare world of ever waking horror." Gaz said coldly. Tak slowly stood, and walked to the door.

"It's okay, Gaz." Tak said, placing a hand on Gaz's shoulder. "He wants to talk, I'll let him talk."

"Alright," Gaz said. "But if you need me to destroy him utterly, just give the word." With that, she stepped aside, and Tak walked out into the hallway.

"What do you want?" Tak asked angrily.

"I just…I…"

"Spit it out, Doctor Drake." Calling me that hurt worse than if she had blasted me with a laser.

"I'm sorry." I said sadly. "I didn't mean that."

"Yes you did." Tak replied. "Or you wouldn't have said it. You insulted my past, everything I ever knew. You really think it's been easy for me? Huh?!"

"No. It couldn't have been. I just thought you could forget all of it. You missed all of this so much, and I couldn't do a damn thing about it. I saw this opportunity, and I took it. I did it for _you_. I didn't even wonder what would happen next, you know, if you'd want to come back with us after…"

"You just _assumed _that I'd choose this over you." Tak stated. "You doubted me, you doubted my word that much? I told you that I loved you, and you had to venom-talk (an Irken phrase) my entire life just because you were afraid that I was lying?"

"I…I just love you so much…"

"If you really loved me, you'd trust me!" Tak argued. "But that's seemingly too much to ask." Tears filled her eyes. "Would you stay here with _me_?" She asked. I stood, silently contemplating the question. "You have to _think_ about it?!" She asked tearfully, a tear rolling down her cheek. "Damn you." I reached out to place a hand on her arm, but she pulled away. "Don't touch me!" She cried. "Don't touch me ever again."

"Tak…"

"I guess we both get what we wanted." Tak said cynically. "I get the life I was torn away from, and you get to go back to working yourself to death, caring only about your own past tragedies." She must have noticed the look her last comment inspired, because she moved in for the final blow. "That's right, Doctor. You care so much about the pain in your past, that it becomes some self-fulfilling prophecy. You brood over how bad things were until you life becomes nothing more than a self-made cluster-fuck."

"Are you…is this goodbye?" I asked, beginning to cry a little myself. "Don't say this is goodbye."

"Goodbye, Doctor." Tak whispered painfully. She turned and walked back into Gaz's room. Gaz gave me an evil look, and closed the door. I stood alone in the hallway, feeling the worst pain I'd ever felt in my life. She was right. She was everything to me, and I ballsed it up.

Ana stood from the couch as I walked down the stairs, barely able to will my body into working. I knew that extreme stress can cause some people to become cataleptic. I'd read of such phenomena, but now, I actually felt as if I were two steps shy of comatose.

"Doc?" Ana asked, taking hold of my arm like someone would an elderly person. "Are you okay?" Dib and Ashton stood up, worried expressions on their faces.

"No." Is the only word I could say in reply.

"Oh no." Ana gasped. "You guys…" I walked away from Ana before she could finish. I headed for the front door.

"I…I need to take a walk." I muttered. "I need to think." Fate chose that moment for Professor Membrane to come through the door of his basement laboratory.

"Doctor Drake." He stated with some excitement. I sighed, and turned to him.

"Yes, professor?" I asked, making every attempt to mask the fact that I wanted so badly to stick my head in a microwave and hit "popcorn".

"I just wanted to inform you that I have completed the interdimensional gateway ahead of schedule. It tests successfully, and you and your team can return home tomorrow morning."

"Thank you." I said, sounding somewhat detached. "We'll be ready."

"Excellent." Membrane said. "I'll begin making the preparations!" With that, he turned and headed back to his lab. I sighed, closing my eyes, and I felt my lower lip tremble.

"Doctor Drake?" Dib asked meekly. "Are you going to be okay?"

"Yeah." I whispered. "Yeah Dib…I'll be alright." With that, I opened the door, and stepped outside, inhaling deeply the cool night air. The truth was, I wasn't alright. Nothing would ever be alright again. Morning would come, and with it the knowledge that I'd never see Tak again.

_Well, I warned you this chapter would be sad. What did everyone think? I'll try to get the next chapter up soon, and possibly draw this story to a close. So, until next time…cheerio, and keep the reviews coming!_


	12. Chapter 12: Kindred Souls

CHAPTER 12: Kindred Souls

_Welcome back. I hope you've enjoyed this fic so far. I feel that it has been one of the better ones I've ever written. I've put so much of myself into Dr. Drake (He's based almost entirely off of me), that I can't help but to get a little involved emotionally in the creation of this story. I guess in a way, it's a reflection of my rollercoaster of a life. Anyway, enjoy and review. I don't own Invader Zim, but if Nick wants to sell me the rights, I have like 50 bucks in my wallet. One can always dream, right? Ahem…well, here's chapter 12..._

I walked down the darkened sidewalk, my hands in the pockets of my lab coat. I didn't really worry too much about muggers or gangs, as even criminals respect a man in a white coat, even if they respect no one else. Not that it mattered anyway. At that point, if old Beelzebub came trotting up, and asked for my soul, I probably would've given it freely.

I sighed, and looked up at the moon. Tak had it right. Everything was the same here, only different. I finally understood. Learning is a funny thing though. You learn from trial and error, which means by the time you figure something out, you've ballsed it up many times before. Culturing bacteria and crunching numbers…it doesn't matter. You muck it up; you throw out the mistake, and start anew, no worries. When the best thing that ever happened to you is on the line, there is zero room for error. I was wrong. I'd realized that. I'd _learned_ how much she cared for this world, for it's strange beauty. I'd learned how much Tak really meant to _me_. But it was too little, too late. I walked.

The window of the 24-7 convenience store advertised "Cigs, $1.99". Oh boy. I'd given up cigarettes about a month before I met Tak. Now the carcinogenic yet soothing plant material sounded like a blessing. I entered the shop, and threw some random cash down on the counter.

"Smokes." I simply stated. The guy behind the counter shrugged, and fisted the cash, then pulled a box of 'Mammal' cigarettes from the overhead display, and dropped them on the counter. I then nonchalantly threw another dollar down, and retrieved a disposable lighter from a display beside the register. I looked at the words on it and scoffed. Oh goody, even in this dimension, I couldn't escape from the wicked curse of 'Git 'er done.'

I left the shop, taking long drags from the delicious fag (It's what we call cigarettes in England, you gutter-minded yanks) which polluted my lungs with its smooth smoke. I walked in the direction of the park, a fitting place to think, as it was where I first arrived here. The city was quiet, and I was glad. I always liked quiet seclusion when things get heavy. Perhaps I'd go into the park, find a nice bench somewhere, and think until I either had my life sorted out, or at least no longer cared. Then, I'd go back to the Membrane house, get sent back to my own world, quit my job, and in the words of one of my favorite movies, end up sitting in a pub every night, drinking myself to death, wondering what the hell happened. Sounded like the perfect plan.

I entered the park, and noticed a figure sitting on one of the benches. Whoever it was sat in a slumped position, their head in their hands. I'm no medical doctor, but whether this chap was a wino, a runaway, or a homeless beggar, I felt compelled to do what I could. I tossed my spent cigarette to the ground, and approached the figure, and nearly gasped in surprise when I recognized him.

"Zim?" I asked. The green alien looked up, a distant look in his blue-pupiled contacts that probably mirrored the pain and sadness in _my_ face.

"Have you come to capture Zim?" He asked with little care to his tone. "To take me to one of you bases and dissect me like the Dib-stink says?"

"No, I just…came here to think." I replied. Well, he wasn't trying to recapture me, or shoot me with some nuclear toilet plunger, so I decided to make conversation. "You?"

"I've come here to _think_ as well, but _you'll_ never know." He spat sadly. I sat beside him, and he looked at me cautiously for a moment, before placing his head back into his hands.

"Bad day, huh?" I sighed, pulling the hair tie from my hair, letting the black mass of dead skin cells that is my hair fall over my shoulders.

"You could never know." He said.

"Know what, if you don't mind me asking?"

"No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man behind blue eyes." Zim sighed.

"Are you quoting The Who?" I asked with some amusement.

"Huh? Yeah, sure, whatever." He replied. I smiled a little.

"You're an Invader, Zim." I said. "An Irken soldier. You Irkens have the most hard-core military in the universe, rivaling the ancient Romans. That's gotta count for something."

"What good is it to be Irken if you can't even complete a simple mission?" Zim asked. "All I ever wanted to do, from the time I was a smeet was to be an Invader. All I want is to please the Tallest, to be a good soldier." He paused and sighed. "But nothing ever seems to work out, despite my amazing genius." I took out another cigarette, and lit it with the deliciously white trash lighter. Zim looked at me funny. "What's that, human?"

"This?" I asked, holding out the smoking cylinder. "This is a cigarette."

"Sig-gar-ret?" Zim asked, carefully pronouncing the separate syllables. "What does it do?"

"It's a paper tube filled with a dried plant called tobacco." I explained. Humans sometimes smoke these to feel calmer. Unfortunately, they contain arsenic, cyanide, formaldehyde, and can cause cancer and emphysema. I could tell from the disgusted look on Zim's face that he was nowhere near enticed.

"I'll never understand you stink-beasts." He said. "You're always doing things to either kill each other or kill yourselves. If you fools would eat foodstuffs that weren't…horrible, and treated you bodies like fine-tuned machines like we Irkens, you could live nearly as long as Zim!"

"But we're human." I said. "We make mistakes. We screw up. That's what we do best." I scoffed. "Some do it better than others." Zim eyed me curiously.

"What have _you_…screwed…up, human scientist beast?"

"I lost…something very important to me, probably the most important thing in my life, all because I was such a bleedin' moron that I didn't realize how fragile it all really was."

"This…thing," Zim asked. "Can you…get it back, or…find a replacement?"

"No." I whispered. "This was one of a kind. And if I weren't so caught up in my own self-righteous arrogance, I'd have never lost it." I felt tears in my eyes again, and wiped them away with my sleeve. "Zim," I said. "Don't give up, eh? Keep the status quo. As long as you do that, things can't get any worse. They may not improve, but they won't retrograde." He thought on this for a moment.

"Ingenious!" He exclaimed. I smiled again, and stood to leave.

"Human?" Zim said respectfully. I turned. "If she's that important to you, you should be willing to die to get her back." I smiled sadly and nodded.

"I would."

"Then take your own advice." He said.

"Thank you, Zim." I replied.

"And human?"

"Yes?"

"Get rid of those disgusting smoke sticks."

_Wow. An interesting meeting there, huh? As much of an idiot as people usually portray Zim being, if you watch the show, he does have moments of clarity, even if the revelations are a little misguided. So, what did you think? Was Zim too OOC? Reviews, ya bloody rapscallions! Till chapter the 13th, cheerio._


	13. Chapter 13: Home is Where the Heart Is

CHAPTER 13: Home Is Where the Heart Is

_I'm finally back with a new chapter! I decided to write this one while listening to "People Ain't No Good" by Nick Cave. I hope you enjoy. In the last chapter, I mentioned a "Nuclear toilet plunger." I want to give credit where credit is due, so many thanks to my friend Grogie 13 for the nuclear toilet plunger. Enjoy the 13th installment of this fic. I don't own Invader Zim, so don't sue._

I entered the Membrane house to find it dark. In the living room, Ana was sleeping on the couch. Ashton slept as well, sitting up against the couch, his and Ana's heads touching. Dib lie sleeping on the floor, curled up against the sofa like a puppy. The scene would've been cute if I were in a better mood. Instead of joining the others in blissful unconsciousness, I opted instead to help myself to Professor Membrane's tea.

I walked into the kitchen, to find the object of all my thoughts sitting at the dining table, a cold, yet untouched waffle on a plate before her.

"Drake." She said with some surprise as I entered. "I was…we were…kind of worried about you."

"Yeah." I sighed. "I just had to get some air, you know." I said in a morose tone.

"Drake," Tak said, sadness in her voice. "Listen, I…I want to…"

"Don't." I said stoically. "You were right. You were right about all of it. You have no need to apologize Tak, I do."

"You were just…"

"Being an ass." I finished. "I've been doing far too much of that lately. Fortunately, I've been

doing some thinking too. I want to stay."

"What?" Tak asked, as if I had just suddenly started speaking Swahili (no, I don't know Swahili).

"I want to stay…here…with you."

"But your home, your job…"

"Bollocks to it all." I stated. "I'm sure if I asked politely enough, I could get a job at Membrane's labs, and my home…what home? My place is with you, love."

Tak smiled sadly, then looked away. "I love you, Drake." She whispered.

"I love you too, Tak." I replied. She sighed and looked me in the eyes.

"I still want you to go." She said, tears forming in her eyes. "Drake, I love you. I love you so much…but you deserve better."

"Tak…"

"Go, Drake. You need to go back and be happy. You belong there…" She looked away, pained. "I belong here."

I realized at that moment that it was over. My Camelot had fallen, and there was nothing I could do to rebuild it. In the blink of an eye, I saw my life, I had it all planned 'til the end: I would go back, and throw myself headfirst into my work. I would never fall in love again. How could I? I loved Tak. I wanted to die with her name on my lips.

"I'll go." I said, choking back tears. "I'll go because it's what you want."

"Drake?" She whispered. "One last kiss?" How could I refuse? I embraced her, and we kissed as only two souls who know it is their last moment together can. We parted, and for a moment, stared deeply into each other's eyes. "Forever, Drake?"

"Forever." I vowed.

It was a pact, sealed with that one word. We sat at the table, silently remembering the good times we'd had. Somehow, it all felt wrong. It was love. It was no doubt _true love,_ if such a thing really existed. And it was not to be. I think she felt, just as I did, that our parting would leave a crater in our souls, a fissure that would never close. Damn it all.

It was 9:30 when Professor Membrane entered the kitchen. He stood imposingly in front of the refrigerator, ready to make his announcement. With an upraised finger and much pomp, he made his statement:

"Doctor Drake, I'm happy to announce that the interdimensional matter transporter is ready. You and your team can go home as soon as you're ready."

"Thank you, Professor." I said unemotionally. I looked back at Tak for a moment, then back to Membrane. "I'll tell the others."

Ana, Ashton and I stood in Membrane's laboratory, underneath the metallic canopy of his interdimensional transporter. Tak, Dib and Gaz stood across the room, behind a safety shield of leaded glass. When questioned, I had explained to Membrane that Tak was the person we had managed to bring over during our first experiment. Believing her to be just a girl, he vowed that he would take care of her until he could find her family. At least Dib and Gaz would get a friend out of all this.

My eyes met Tak's, and I saw her lip tremble. I tried not to allow myself to cry, no matter how badly I really wanted to at the time. I raised a hand in a farewell gesture, and mouthed, "I love you." Tak placed a hand against the glass and nodded.

"Ready doctor?" Membrane asked. I looked to Ana and Ashton, who nodded in affirmation, before grasping each other's hands.

"We're ready." I replied stoically. He nodded, pushed a few buttons on a console, and placed his black-gloved right hand on a lever. I turned my gaze to Tak, and my eyes never left hers until the fateful moment Membrane threw the switch.

Everything went dark, and I felt like I did the time I accidentally managed to make contact with a live 240-volt wire. The pain subsided after a few seconds, and was replaced by the whole "dimensional balance of transported matter", which sounds scientific, but hurts like hell. The pain finally went away, and I opened my eyes. The familiar surroundings of the Cambridge lab came into focus. We had made it. I looked at my hands to insure that I was no longer animated. No, I was human again.

I sat up, and looked around. Ana and Ashton were getting to their feet. Ana must have noticed the look on my face. She looked at me with concerned and said "Doc…"

"We're back." I said unenthusiastically. I stood up, and walked away. Drifting into my office and cursing the damnable familiarity of it all, I dropped into my chair, and placed my head on my arms. It's a terrible feeling when someone you love is a thousand miles away. If someone leaves you, at least you have the knowledge that they are still there, somewhere. When someone dies, you can let go to an extent. They're gone forever, and it hurts, but you can move on. This was different. I loved her, and she technically didn't even exist anymore. She wasn't dead, she wasn't alive, she just wasn't. How do you deal with something like that? You don't.

_Think it's all over? There's one more chapter to go. I'll leave it up to the reviewers to tell me what they think should happen. So reviews, please._


	14. Chapter 14: Homecoming

CHAPTER 14: Homecoming

_Sorry I haven't updated in a while. I've had lots of things going on, some of which I wish weren't. But through it all, like the light brigade riding gallantly into the face of the enemy, I've forged ahead and finished the fic. That's right, this is the last chapter of the story you've all come to love (or hate). So, enjoy, and send me your thoughts. Those of you who have read this so far, and not sent a review, now is the time to tell me what you thought. Please? Pretty please? If you don't, I'll get Coldstream Guard on your arses. Just kidding. I don't own any Invader Zim characters._

"Doc, please come out of your office." Ana pleaded from outside the locked door of my office/self-made prison cell. "Please?"

"I have important work to do." I snapped coldly.

"You've been locked in your office for the last 36 hours Doc." Ana said. "We're worried about you." I slammed my notebook down on my desk.

"Damnit all to bloody Hell, Ana!" I shouted. "We're scientists. We have work to do. Can't you just…" My voice broke. "Leave me alone to work?"

"Damn it Drake!" Ana scolded. "You're killing yourself! You haven't eaten or slept since we came back. You think this'll help?! I know this is about Tak, and you're not gonna pull some hari-kari, whiskey lullaby shit on me!" Wow. When Ana decided to take computer technology, I think grief counseling grieved for its loss. I groaned and stood, walking to the door. Opening it, I sighed and looked at Ana.

"What would you have me do?" I asked. "Go on with my life? Find another to love? Be happy as a fuckin' clam about every god-given bloody breath I take?" I nodded 'no'. "She's gone, Ana. Do you understand that? The best damn thing to ever come into my wretched excuse for a fucking life is gone." I felt tears rise behind my eyes, and fought to keep them down. You're English, Drake. Stiff upper lip. "I have…nothing."

"Yes you do." Ana said softly, tears forming in her eyes. "You have a job others would kill for. You have me. You have Ashton. And you can say that you had the most awesome girlfriend in the universe."

"Had." I whispered. "Past tense." I sighed. "Honestly, Ana…the job, bollocks to it. I'd give everything. I'd give my last sodding breath, my last drop of claret to see her face again."

"I know." Ana whispered. "I know."

"I think I'll take your prescription, Ana." I said. "I'm going to go try to get some sleep, maybe have a few nightmares, hopefully suffer from a rare quarter-centennial-delayed SIDS or something."

"Doc…" Ana said in a 'That's nowhere near funny' tone. I placed a hand on her shoulder and mustered a small smile.

"How's Ashton getting on?" I asked before a yawn. Ana smiled.

"He's good. Still a little shell-shocked. He won't even look at a cartoon."

"That's Ashton." I said with a little residual humor.

"Yeahhhh…" Ana added. "We have a date tonight."

"It was only a matter of time." I stated. "I wish the best for you two." With that, I gave Ana a friendly hug, as if to say 'thanks for caring', and made my way to my quarters.

In my bedroom, I took off my lab coat and flung it onto a chair, considering never wearing it again professionally. I pulled my already loose black tie over my head, and dropped it onto the tan carpet, and shed my black shirt. I picked up my black TAPS teeshirt from the bed and slid it on, pausing to take in Tak's faint smell that still lingered on it. I kicked off my shoes, and crawled into bed.

I was almost asleep, when I heard a knock at the door. I groaned in utter hopelessness and half-rolled, half-slithered out of bed. I walked across the room and opened the door to see Ana standing there.

"Ashton and I are going out." She said. "Do you want me to bring you back anything?"

"Thanks Ana, I'm good." I said groggily.

"Alright." She said with a friendly smile. "Take care of yourself. You need anything, call my cell."

"Have fun." I said, and closed the door. I staggered back to the bed, and fell face-first onto the mattress, my face in a pillow, and making some strange gurgling sounds before I rolled onto my back and got comfortable. I was out in a matter of seconds.

I awoke to a staccato cracking sound, like someone pouring out a jar full of marbles onto a wooden floor.

"Bloody road crews and their bloody jackhammers." I muttered. "Interrupting a perfectly good sleep." I groaned into the pillow and raised my head slightly. "Keep it down." I slurred sleepily. "Tossers." I presumed to fall asleep yet again. I don't know how much longer I was able to sleep before my rest was awakened yet again by a knocking at the door.

"Suddenly there came a tapping, as of someone gently rapping…rapping at my chamber door." I muttered half asleep, half angry. True to the famous poem, I once again heard knocking at the wooden door of my bedroom. "Keep your hair on, Lenore." I said angrily, and walked to the door, silently cursing the third interruption of my sad attempt to sleep away my sorrows. I opened the door, and nearly slapped myself to see if I was dreaming. There stood Tak.

"Drake?" Tak said with a voice full of love, sadness and joy commingled.

"Tak…" I whispered in disbelief. "Is it…really you?" She answered by leaping into my arms, and throwing her arms around me happily. We kissed passionately, our love, happiness and tears mixing. "But…how?"

"Not without you." She said emotionally. "I couldn't…"

"Tak." I sobbed happily, holding her tightly against me, never wanting to let go.

"I begged Membrane to send me back. He said he'd send me through, but I couldn't come back. I don't care, Drake. I love you."

"I love you." I replied.

"Besides," Tak said, lowering herself to her feet. "After you left, Dib suddenly decided to get all…you know, boyfriend with me. So I hit him." She rolled her eyes. I smiled. "Hard. Gaz thought it was hilarious." I laughed. So my animal instincts _had_ been right.

"Tak," I said. "I couldn't have survived without you by my side. I was miserable without you."

"I can't call you weak." Tak said. "Because I was lost without you."

"Love?" I asked.

"Yes"

"Will you do something for me? For us?"

"I would do anything." Tak replied.

"Can you create another disguise? One to make you appear older?"

"Of course. I designed this one myself. Why?

"Because I want you to marry me." I said. Tak wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me, sobbing lightly.

"Why in the name of Irk did you wait so _long_?" She cried. "I will."

"First things first." I said with a smile, hugging her back. She looked up questioningly. "Let's get some sleep." She smiled.

"Deal."

"I love you." I said, looking into her beautiful eyes.

"I love you, Drake."

"Forever, Tak?"

"Forever."

_Well, that's it, ladies and germs. The last chapter of ATOTD 2. Did you enjoy it? Now it's 4:30 in the bloody morning, and I'm simplified, so I leave you with the promise that I'll start my next fic soon. Till then, cheerio._


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Invader Zim, Adventure, Romance