One Piece 1. The Ideal Man

Hey there, this is a fic based of of zosan-no-mi's Sculptor AU that was posted about a month ago with a drawing of Zoro's Asura sculpture.

"Sanji is a sculptor who fell in love with a statue of Zoro. With the help of the artist who did the piece, the "Great" Usopp, he went out of his way to meet the real deal only to find that the man was an annoying piece of shit. Would he hate the masterpiece now? Or would Zoro become his life's most valuable lesson that real beauty is more than just skin deep?"

And then Fen made some more really awesome art for it, and I reblogged it and wrote in the tags something along the lines of "I can't get this out of my head" and "I need to stop stealing other peoples AU's"

BUT FEN READ THEM. FEN READ THEM AND REBLOGGED IT WITH MY TAGS AND TOLD ME TO WRITE IT. And then I got a message in my inbox with "WRITE IT" x10

So after some serious fangirling because "oh my god zosan-no-mi noticed me? What?" I started writing, and then after a whole month I finished it. Usually it takes me that long to do promt/aus that I find (steal) from the zosan tumblr bloggers I follow because I want it to be good enough for them and then I stress and over edit. But I am a little bit of an art nerd, so this was fun, and I got to worship Zoro, which was even better.

Anyway this is my attempt at putting zosan-no-mi's amazing AU into writing. The cover image is one of the drawings zosan-no-mi didm it's the side view of Asura :D

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Chapter 1

The Ideal Man

Sanji Black was a sculptor, an artist and a master of his art form. He loved the feeling of the smooth clay shifting beneath his fingers, the pliable substance bending to his every whim and will, matching the body he was copying perfectly. Sanji wasn't just good, he was amazing, he was one of the best at his craft, and he knew it.

He was a prodigy. You could blindfold him and place an object in his hands and he could replicate it perfectly. Most people figured he was lying at first, and so he challenged them. Whenever his models found out he had to feel them in order to sculpt them, be it clay, marble or other, they accused him of being a pervert. Of course, he was a pervert, but when it came to his art, his dream, he put his voyeurism aside. He would explain how he sculpted and then would send them off to find objects. Once he had perfectly cloned the object, they had no qualms about letting him touch them.

The best part of sculpting was not having an excuse to feel up his muses, no that was not it at all, though that was a definite plus. Not the best part of sculpting was melding and creating something that was so life like it could take your breath away. All he had to do was find the soul of the medium, visualize the personality of his muse and then he could clone their physical form perfectly and have their character shine through.

To be good at an art, a person has to be able to translate, make it so people with little to no taste could understand. It took talent and dedication, but those who succeeded were the artists whose names were well know, like Picasso, Michelangelo and Da Vinci. Artists lived life to the fullest, and loved freely. Sometimes a little too freely. At least Sanji did. He threw himself at women and flirted ridiculously. He always respected women, it was just sometimes they found it to be too much. Which was why he stayed single with the odd fling thrown in every few months. It was great for his career and work, but not so great for his mental health, which was why he made time for his friends whenever possible. If any one of his friends asked him to do something, he would do it in a heartbeat, it was the kind of person he was.

Which is how he found himself holding a glass of cheap red wine staring at a six foot sculpture of an eerily familiar looking cyborg in a speedo.

"What do you think of the exhibit Sanji-san?" Robin asked, walking up with Nami. Both looked divine in their dresses, Robin stunned in a modest black dress, looking every part the beautiful museum manager, and Nami wowed in a short red number that had heads turning. He had lost them when he had stopped to stare at an incredibly detailed painting of different types of fish in the ocean. Sadly the artist of that particular painting was not at the opening of the exhibit so he couldn't commend him on such an amazing piece. So Sanji had found his way to the new exhibit hoping to find his lovely ladies and had found this… thing.

"Sanji-kun?" Nami asked, waving a hand in front of his face, "You alright?"

"I'm fine my sweet, thank you, I'm just slightly shocked from the… scene in front of me." Sanji said, taking a large sip of his wine. The piece was well done, the details were impeccable, it was just weird. Very weird.

"Yes, the artist has an interesting style, but Franky will be pleased with it, it has an incredible resemblance to him." Robin said, smiling at the sculpture. Sanji stared owlishly at her and stared back up at the cyborg, "That's FRANKY?! As in your fiancé Franky?"

Now that it had been pointed out he could definitely see it, the crazy hair style, the strange pose and large arms with star tattoos… how had he not noticed before? Maybe it had something to do with the cyborgs clothing, or lack of….

"Yeah, the artist, Usopp, sculpts his friends." Nami said, gesturing around the gallery, "They're part of a set call One Piece, and they're all part of some alternate universe where there's a bunch of pirates. This is Cyborg, he's the shipwright."

Sanji shook his head in amazement, "What other members of the ship does he have?"

"A musician, a captain, a sniper, a doctor, an archeologist, and a swordsman." Robin said, "If you'll follow me, I can show you the rest."

Sanji followed them, slightly in awe at this artist's talent. He was a good sculptor himself, but he man seemed to imbed a large piece of his subject's personality into the work, making it completely that person. Cyborg had seemed like he would yell "Super!" any moment. Maybe Sanji would have to start sculpting his friends to get that level of animation, maybe Nami would agree…

"This is based off of Brook, the musician that performs here sometimes." Robin said, pointing at a statue to their right. The musician, Humming Bones, was a seven foot skeleton with a violin resting on his shoulder. He held the bow up in greeting in his right hand while his face held a slightly creepy skeletal grin. The more Sanji looked at the skeleton, the more it seemed like it was laughing at him. He shivered slightly and followed the ladies on to the next piece.

"Remember Luffy? The guy I introduced you to a few months ago?" Nami asked. Sanji nodded, the kid was extremely hyper active and had begged Sanji to give him food. He'd seen him a few times since then, and he had to admit the guy was fun to be around.

Nami pointed at the next sculpture, "He's the captain."

The captain was a young boy with a freakishly large grin on his face and a scar under his left eye. One arm was extended, literally stretched five feet over his head grasping a straw hat in his hand, the other was drawn back in a fist like he was going to punch whoever was in front of him. It was totally Luffy, he could almost hear the kid's wild laughter.

"Is he some kind of stretchy man?" Sanji asked, glancing a Robin. The brunette shrugged "Rubber man I think."

Sanji nodded and started walking towards the next sculpture, what was the point of even asking questions?

The next statue was the sniper, a medium built man with thick curly black hair and a ridiculously long nose in overalls. He seemed to be the first regular person in the series, other than the nose of course. His face was set in a determined glare, and he had a weird looking weapon in his hand that looked like some kind of sling shot. It was titled The Great Sogeking. Underneath the title there was a long paragraph of writing, something that was not done on the others. Sanji leaned in to read the small lettering but Nami tugged him back.

"Usopp based this off of himself, the little paragraph is just a huge story about how great 'The Great Sogeking' is amazing and how he exemplifies the artists inner warrior. He actually calls himself the Great Usopp in most of his interviews." Nami said, pulling Sanji to the next one, "This is The World Greatest Doctor. In real life he's one of Luffy and Usopp's friends, his name's Chopper and he's only 17, but he's already becoming respected doctor."

Sanji looked at the little reindeer like person, it looked flustered and was holding a stethoscope. His hat was huge, about the same size as his head and his little antlers barely reached over it. He was about to ask about the reindeer part of the sculpture, but Nami dragged him off again, followed by the chuckling Robin. Before they reached the next one, Nami covered Sanji's eyes, leading him forward with a hand on his arm.

"Robin you have to explain this one!" Nami said, grinning at her friend. Sanji wiggled his head, trying to escape her hand so he could see the sculpture but Nami kept it in place until they were in the perfect position. When Nami finally removed her hand, Sanjji gasped, it was Robin, her head was bowed and her arms were crossed in front of her, and she had multiple other hands sprouting from her shoulders and the platform around her. She was dressed in what Sanji knew was her favorite pair of jeans, purple jacket and white cowgirl hat. The statue's eyes were closed and a small serene small graced her stone features.

"This is Sies Fleur, the archeologist of the Mugiwara pirates. She has the ability to sprout body parts from anywhere. And yes, I modeled for him." Robin said with a small smile that matched the statues.

"Robin-chwan! It is almost as beautiful as you! Of course, your real beauty cannot be captured in any materiel It is far too radiant!" Sanji gushed, swooning over the woman. Robin merely brushed him off, "The next statue is by far the best."

"Nothing is better than Robin-chwan! Or Nami-swan!" Sanji protested, following the two women to the next piece.

"This one has been extremely popular." Robin said as the led the other two to the end of the hall, "I'm glad our staff noticed the quality of his piece and placed it a little further away from the others, otherwise the other statues might have been blocked by the crowd."

"What's so great about this piece?" Sanji asked, his hands in his pockets, flicking his lighter. He was dying for a smoke, it had been almost 5 hours since his last cigarette, and a man could only survive so long without his addiction.

"Think Michelangelo's David, only built in proportion for being on the ground." Robin explained.

"He copied David?" Sanji asked, quirking a curled eyebrow. Robin smiled and shook her head, "No I was merely giving you a reference, this statue looks nothing like David, it just follows the same principles. A warrior and the human ideal."

Nami furrowed her brow in confusion and looked like she wanted to ask Robin something, but Robin was already making her way through the crowd in front of the statue. Sanji shrugged at Nami and they both started elbowing their way in. When they finally made it to the front of the crowd, Sanji's jaw dropped. He had thought Robin was building the statue up when she had compared it to David, which was in fact the embodiment of the ideal male image, but this, this was… there were no words to describe it.

The stone man had three heads and six arms, each arm held a sword. It almost seemed like the 'great' Usopp had frozen this man mid attack. Each face held a look of pure concentration, determination and murderous intent as the stone captured him on his way to finish the final blow. It was a sublime balance of power and beauty. Sanji could almost see the sweat making its way down his body, trailing over the hard muscles in rivulets. This man, whoever he was, was in perfect shape, his body was packed with large and toned muscle. How the hell had Usopp carved something like this?

Sanji couldn't tear his eyes away from the stone body. As an artist, he made it his business to know what people, women specifically, found attractive; this sculpture was definitely one of them. The sculpture, Asura the swordsman as it said on the plaque, was a perfect example of classical humanism, based off of Greek and Roman ideas and foundations, a major part of which is fascination with the human body. Asura was buff, and perfectly muscled, which was highly revered in Greek and Roman eras. The chiselled edges of his body and his swords made him the epitome of male beauty. Even with the extra heads and arms, in fact they almost added to the attraction.

"Falling in love Sanji-kun?' Nami asked teasingly. Sanji could only nod as his eyes greedily took in the sight of Asura.

"He is incredible, isn't he?" Robin said with a hint of a smile in her voice. Sanji nodded again, going into complete sculptor mode, "He's perfect, he has all the physical attributes people find most attractive in men, broad forehead, chiselled jaw, prominent chin and brow, and those cheekbones, I don't know if I've seen better cheekbones ever. And his face is symmetrical, that is just… it's a sign of health and vitality, not to mention it helps with his attractiveness. His body is smooth there's no roughness, except for those scares, oh god those scars just add to the appeal. The scars are horrendous looking, and you can tell he is a battle hardened warrior, and by the look of some of those scars he's had battles where he's barely escaped with his life. The swords also add to that angle, I mean he has six swords! Six! Asura is definitely portrayed as an incredible warrior. He has broad shoulders, a muscular chest and a slim waist, all very attractive, it also shows he is powerful and agile at the same time. There doesn't seem to be any fat on his body, it's all muscle, all perfect muscle. He's tall, which can be associated with power and wealth, but it's mostly dominance and protection. Which women, and some men love. He's the perfect male. Evidently the extra limbs aren't exactly considered part or the perfect male image, but even with them he would be perfect in real life. Each face is so unique even though they're the same man, each arm emphasises a different muscle without seeming forced… He's incredible."

Nami snorted, "I was kidding when I asked if you were falling in love."

Sanji tore his eyes away from the statue and shot Nami a cheeky grin, "maybe I wasn't"

Robin chuckled as Nami gaped, really she should have been used to Sanji's antics by then, but he always seemed to surprise her. He was joking right?

"Sanji- kun…" She started, but Sanji already had his attention back on the stone man. He had once heard that sculpting was considered the finest form of art because it was similar to divine creation. There were many times Sanji had thought back to those words, and this was definitely one of them. He was definitely a perfect male specimen, the ideal lover for some, a role model for others. If this person was real they had to do nothing but work out and perfect that body all day long…

Was this person real? Sanji searched the stone face for anything familiar. He knew many of the friends that had posed for Usopp, so maybe he knew this one?

Slowly Sanji circled around Asura, his eyes mapping out every ridge of muscle, following and studying all of his perfect body. The detail in each of the arms was different, he had obviously sculpted the arms in different positions, focusing on the muscle positions and the bulges that stood out in each position. Usopp had gone all out, the detail continued on to Asura's back, the hard muscle, the seemingly rippling skin. The only difference was there were no scars to mar the perfection of this man on his back.

'Does that mean no one's ever snuck up on him? Or that he's never turned his back on an enemy?' Sanji mused as he completed his circle.

"Robin"

"Yes sculptor-san?"

"Is Usopp here tonight?" He hadn't looked away from the statue.

"He should be, I haven't seen him yet." Robin said. Nami quirked a perfectly plucked eyebrow as she watched Sanji, "Why do you need Usopp?"

Sanji turned to face them, a large grin on his face. He jerked his thumb over his shoulder at the statue, "I must meet this man."


	2. Expectations vs Reality

Hey! Sorry it's been a few months since I updated this. I couldn't write over the summer and I've been in school for the past month and have a few time consuming projects due soon. But I somehow finished this chapter. I'm thinking there's going to be only one more chapter and then this is done! :D

And thank you for following and reviewing this fic! The amount of views and follows this fic got in the first little bit made me so happy! Thank you guys so much!

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Chapter 2

Expectations vs. Reality

Sanji let his eyes travel over Asura's ripped abdomen, studying the muscle and the tears on his skin. He was perfect, but imperfect. Asura. Sanji mouthed the name and let his tongue roll over the r. If he remembered what Robin had explained a few minutes earlier correctly, Asura was the name of a divine being in mythology. Damn he wished he had paid more attention to what she had been saying rather than the stunning anatomy of Asura. And of course he couldn't ask because Robin and Nami had left about ten minutes ago to find 'The Great Usopp' for him. He had offered to go and help them but Nami had only giggled and said he should 'stay with his new boyfriend.' Sanji chuckled at the thought, but then his expression turned dreamy, what if…

In every way he seemed like he would be the perfect lover, built for endurance and power and the tight muscle down his torso to his trim waist showed agility. He would definitely be a god in the bed room, and he probably had a low sultry voice that would send shivers down his spine and would make him moan. Not to mention those arms would add so much to the experience, holding him up or wrapping themselves around him. To top and dominate such a man would make the sex even better, it would give him a feeling of being more powerful than a god… Sanji had to hold back a moan as he left his little fantasy. He'd file that away for later, when he wasn't standing in a public museum. He closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths, imagining the time he had walked into his foster father's studio to find two of his assistants modeling skimpy women's clothes for each other as jokes. Yep that did it. He opened his eyes to stare up at Asura. He wanted to reach out and touch him, to feel the satin of the stone against his fingers…

"Sanji! Over here!" Nami called loudly, earning glares from other museum goers. Sanji chuckled as he started towards her. An elderly man eyed her dress and snorted, muttering something about 'girls these days'. Sanji made sure to accidentally bump into him on his way to his precious angel. If the angry shouts were anything to go by, the man's red wine had spilled onto his crisp white shirt. Perfect.

"That was rude Sanji-kun." Nami giggled as she hooked arms with him and lead him away from the crowd around Sanji's fascination. Sanji shrugged, "He said something I didn't like."

Nami snorted and tugged on his arm, "Usopp's this way, I left him with Robin and Cyborg."

Sanji's face lit up and he started walking faster, almost dragging Nami along. He finally spotted his favourite tall brunette standing with the long nosed sculptor and had to restrain himself from breaking into a sprint.

"Hey Sanji!" Usopp called, waving a hand, "You like the exhibit?"

Sanji nodded and opened his mouth to demand the name of the man who modeled for Asura, but Robin tilted her head curiously and asked spoke before he could, "Oh yes, we wanted to ask you about the Asura statue, but first I've been meaning to ask you, what religion you named him from?"

Usopp frowned, "Religion? What religion? What do you mean?"

"There are two main religions that mention Asura, Hinduism and Buddhism." Robin smiled, "In Hinduism asuras are deities that desired power, and became something of anti-gods. Mythology was created to show that though the asuras were originally just, good, and virtuous, but their nature had gradually changed. The asuras were depicted to have become proud, vain, to have stopped performing sacrifices, to have violated sacred laws, not visited holy places, not cleansed themselves from sin, to be envious of devas, the 'good' deities, torturous of living beings, creating confusion in everything and to challenge the devas."

Nami, Usopp and Sanji all stared at Robin. After a few minutes Sanji cleared his throat, "And in Buddhism?"

Robin smiled, "Very similar. The Buddhist asura is thought to have been derived from the Hindu asura. All the gods of the Kāmadhātu are subject to the passions to some degree, the Asuras above all of them became addicted to them, especially wrath, pride, envy, insincerity, falseness, boasting, and bellicosity. So once again they are evil. Your choice of name is an interesting choice, the state of an Asura reflects the mental state of a human being obsessed with ego, force and violence, always looking for an excuse to get into a fight, angry with everyone and unable to maintain calm or solve problems peacefully. Is this what you had in mind with this sculpture?"

Usopp bit his lip, "I kinda named him because of the heads, someone told me there was something with three heads named Asura so that's what I named him."

Robin smiled again, "Yes the Buddhist and Hindu asura has three heads and four to six arms."

Usopp snorted, "Well Zoro will be thrilled I named him after an evil anti-god… actually I think he will be happy about that. Some of that stuff sounds like him, especially the always looking for a fight and angry with everyone part"

"So he's an angry person, this Zoro?" Robin questioned, and Usopp nodded, "Sometimes, he has a killer glare."

Sanji had been nodding along to the conversation about Asura's when the name caught his attention. He jerked his head in Usopp's direction, "Zoro?"

Usopp blinked at him, a little stunned from the demanding force of the question, "Yeah, Zoro. He was my model for Asura. He's a good friend of mine."

Sanji grinned, Zoro that was his name. And a good friend of Usopp's, Sanji made a mental note to be extremely nice to the long nosed man.

"Will he be coming here tonight? I know Luffy isn't…" Nami asked. Usopp shook his head, "Probably not. He'd hate all the attention he'd be getting and the crowds. He's probably at home with Luffy or something."

"Can you introduce me to him?" Sanji asked, grabbing one of Usopp's hands. The long nosed man looked down at the hand and then back up to Sanji, "Sure?"

Nami giggled and leaned over Sanji's shoulder, "Sanji here has fallen in love with Zoro's statue."

Usopp flicked his eyes to Sanji's beet red face, "uh… what?"

"N-no! Not like that, I just think the way you recreated him in stone was amazing, I want to meet the real Asu- Zoro to see if he is as amazing as you made him. And to possibly ask him if he would consider being my muse for a future sculpture. A body like that was made to be sculpted." Sanji spluttered, blushing furiously. Truthfully it was like what Nami had said, but confessing his love for a statue would probably end up with him never meeting Zoro.

Usopp beamed, "You think he's amazing!? Thank you! I feel he's one of my best works! I'm hoping to get him travelling to other museums for visits. Of course I am a world renowned artist, everyone knows of my work! Have I told you about the time I visited a town in Spain and was mobbed by fans?"

Sanji stifled a sigh, "I'm sure it's an amazing story Usopp, but when can I meet Zoro?"

Usopp stopped mid story and bit his lip, "I could call him and ask him to come..."

Sanji nodded eagerly as Usopp pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts. He stepped away and brought the phone up to his ear. Nami shook her head and giggled, "Don't get too excited Sanji; Usopp said he doesn't like crowds."

Sanji grinned at her, "Yes, but I might still get to meet him Nami-swan."

Robin chuckled, "Be careful Sculptor-san, he might be completely different from how you have imagined him." Sanji nodded, "Of course Robin-chwan."

"He can't come." Usopp said as he rejoined the group, "If he comes then Luffy will follow, and we all know how that would end."

They all winced at the thought of allowing Luffy into the museum full of priceless and very breakable artworks.

Robin nodded, "That would be best, is there another time Sanji, Nami and I could meet him?"

Usopp nodded, "I was thinking of inviting you guys, by you guys I meant the sculpted Mugiwaras out for a drink to celebrate tomorrow night at Brook's bar, Sanji and Nami could come too."

"Brook?" Sanji asked, looking over at the skeleton, "As in Humming Bones?"

Usopp nodded, "He owns a music bar, Laboon's. It's gotten pretty popular."

Sanji nodded, he'd heard of it from colleagues and some of his muses but he'd never gotten the chance to go himself

"Will our drinks be paid for?" Nami asked, giving Usopp her best smile. The curly haired man shrugged, "Brook will probably give us a discount

"We'll be there." Nami grinned, putting an arm around Sanji's shoulders.

"Franky and I will be too, now if you'll excuse me I should probably circulate." Robin said, waving as she turned to leave.

"I should probably go too, I need to get back to my fiancé." Usopp said, pointing to a beautiful blonde woman who was looking at The Great Sogeking.

"Well I think I'm done for the night, could you give me a ride home?" Nami asked, glancing at her watch. Sanji glanced in the direction of Asura, feeling hesitant to leave. Nami sighed and rolled her eyes. "Really Sanji? You can't spend all night staring at a piece of rock fantasizing about it, go home and sleep. Tomorrow you'll meet the real deal."

Sanji nodded and let her lead him through the crowd, speeding up to keep up with Nami's furious pace. How women walked so fast in heels he had no idea, but they had his upmost respect for it.

Sanji stood in front of his mirror glancing over his outfit. It might have sounded stupid, but he did want to look his best when he met Zoro. When talking to someone you wanted to pose for you, you definitely did not want to look like a scruffy slob. Sanji had seen many incredible artists have muses reject their requests because they looked like creeps. Not to mention he thought the guy was hot, it wouldn't hurt to look his best. Finally satisfied with the coral blue button up shirt that complimented his eyes and his dark tight black slacks that outlined his toned legs, he turned to go and wait for Nami in his living room. She lived two storeys up in the building, so she'd get him on her way down.

He settled into his couch and stared at the ceiling, what was he going to say to him? How would he explain his sculpting method? Hey, I really like your sculpture, can I feel you up and sculpt you? Right, and then he'd run for the hills. Sanji sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, why was it he only had trouble talking to men? He could smooth talk any woman, but with men he ended up starting a fight.

Right, time to focus on other things. He closed his eyes, what did Zoro look like? Obviously he had the base for what he look like, but what were the details? Was his scruffy hair light or dark? Was it blonde? A light chestnut? Or an impossible black? And what was his skin like? Were his scars long red marks that marred the perfection of milky skin? Or did he have gorgeous mocha skin, maybe skin the colour of black coffee? He was probably tanned, Sanji mused, most muscular men were tanned, but what kind of tan did he have? Was it dusky? Bronze? Gold? Or that god awful orange people got from spray on tans?

Sanji closed his eyes and pictured the statue, Asura's, well, Zoro's features had seemed slightly Asian, so his tan was probably bronzed, which meant his hair was most likely black.

What colour were his eyes? Brown? Black? Blue? Green? He shook his head lightly, he was being ridiculous, absolutely ridiculous. He was going to meet the man behind the statue, there was no need to imagine anything. In just a few minutes Nami would be at his door and then they'd be off to Laboon's.

The knock startled him and he shot up to answer the door, grabbing his wallet and glancing in his large hall mirror. He sighed and shook his head at his reflection, he was being ridiculous.

He opened the door to the impatient Nami, who set off down the hall as soon as she saw he was ready. He scrambled to shut off his light and lock the door before sprinting down the hall after her.

Sanji's fingers nervously shuffled his cigarette pack in his pocket as they entered the bar. It was full of people, filled with raucous laughter and the loud smacks of glasses hitting wood.

"Where are they?" Nami frowned, standing up on her tip toes to search for Usopp and his muses. Sanji bit his lip as his eyes combed the bar, looking for the long nose.

"Is that Franky over there?" Nami asked, squinting her eyes as she pointed to the back of the bar. Sanji craned his neck and saw the tall plume of blue hair the tall man was known for, "Probably, shall we head back there?"

The wormed their way through the crowd, Nami dragging Sanji away from the dancing women and Sanji glaring down the creeps that tried to approach Nami. By the time they got to where they had last seen the tall mechanic Sanji had kicked 5 men for trying to grope Nami. When Usopp saw them he stood and waved them over to a more secluded booth.

"Hey guys! Glad you could make it! For those of you who don't know them, these are my friends Sanji and Nami. Sanji's a fellow artist." Usopp said, gesturing to the two. They both raised their hands in greeting.

As the members of the group introduced themselves Sanji was struck by how accurate the sculptures seemed. Chopper, the little reindeer doctor, was adorable His brown curly hair stuck up in odd places, looking like short horns. He blushed when Sanji commented on his success and called him a bastard. Brook turned out to be an older man who was skeletally thin and extremely tall. Other than those two he knew the people at the table. There was only one person missing.

"Where's Zoro?" Nami asked, sliding into a seat next to Luffy, "He's the only one missing right?"

"Probably lost." Usopp snorted, "He said he didn't need anyone to pick him up, but honestly I don't know if he'll find the place."

"I'm assuming Zoro gets lost often." Robin said. Sanji chuckled quietly, slipping in next to Usopp.

"All the time. Even with a GPS." Luffy grinned, shoving something in his mouth. Nami snorted, "Really? He's that bad?"

"He insists the GPS leads him the wrong way." Chopper giggled, "If someone's not there to pull him in the right direction he gets lost for hours."

"I hope you guys aren't talking about me." A low voice almost growled. Sanji froze, me as in Zoro? Zoro was right behind him? Usopp jumped in his seat and turned to smile nervously at the man, "Not at all Zoro, we were talking about uh…"

"Whatever Usopp, I can already see though whatever lie you were going to tell." Zoro snorted. Sanji forced himself to keep breathing calmly, his voice was deep and smooth, almost better than he had expected. Nami's eyes flicked to him and winked before smiling up at Zoro and sliding over to make room for the new addition. Sanji slowly turned his head, trying not to snap his neck in his eagerness to see the man. He was thankful the bar was so loud, covering the small sound he made when he saw Zoro.

He was even better in real life. His golden tanned skin was tight over his muscled arms. When he reached up to scratch the back of his head the muscles flexed perfectly, the definition of his arms the perfect equivalent to the sculpture's physique. His eyes took Zoro's body in hungrily, trailing down his broad shoulders, down his evidently ripped abdomen to his narrow hips. Perfect, he was perfect. He was the human, moving, breathing Asura. The only oddity was his moss green hair, but even that looked incredible on the man.

His eyes followed Zoro as he went to slide into the booth next to Nami, right across from him. He ducked his head slightly and stared through his fringe, watching the man's muscular arms move. His fingers itched to reach out and touch, all he wanted to do was sculpt the man.

"Zoro, these are some of my friends Nami, Robin and Sanji, say hi." Usopp said, reaching over and pushing Zoro's shoulder. He grunted in greeting, and Sanji frowned slightly. He couldn't say hello and introduce himself correctly?

"So what do you do for a living Zoro?" Nami asked, smiling politely at the green haired man, subtly kicking Sanji's shin in the process. The blonde snapped his attention from Zoro's biceps to the drink that had been placed in front of him. He twirled it in his hands and tried to act as if he wasn't all that interested in hearing Zoro's answer.

"I'm an accountant, but I also teach kendo at a dojo near my house." Zoro said. Sanji's eyebrows shot up, an accountant? Seriously?

"An accountant?" Nami asked, echoing Sanji's thoughts, "Really?"

"Yes really." Zoro snorted, "Sorry to break it to you, but I'm not an idiot because I work out."

Sanji bristled at Zoro's tone and his head shot up. "Don't be rude to Nami asshole."

Their eyes met and Sanji felt like he was going to explode. Zoro's eyes were a warm chocolate brown with barely detectable gold flecks in them. His face was like his statue's, all high cheekbones, smooth skin, broad forehead, and a chiselled jaw. Shit he was hot, Sanji's anger at the man's lack of manners melted away, replaced by the awe of his attractiveness.

"Whoa, your eyebrows are curly." Zoro said, staring at his face in surprise.

Never mind, he was still pissed. Sanji clapped a hand over his eyebrows and scowled at Zoro, "Your hair's green."

Zoro scowled back but didn't respond, too busy with the beer that had been slid over to him by Luffy. Sanji glowered at the other man before returning to his own drink, ignoring the thoughts that were going to war in his head.

They sat silently as the rest of the group chattered around them, Nami's kicks under the table were getting harder and Sanji was sure he'd have a bruise by the end of the night. He met Nami's eyes and she shot him a meaningful look before turning to talk to Robin. Sanji sighed and cleared his throat, "So Usopp, how'd you get the ideas for the Mugiwara crew?"

Usopp beamed at him and animatedly launched into his explanation, "Well Luffy was the first, he always seemed to bounce back immediately after an injury, like rubber. So I made him a rubber man. Zoro here was second, he has this incredible fighting style called Santoryu, three sword style, and sometimes when he's fighting he gets this aura like he's super pissed off and it looks like he has three heads and six arms, it's insane! It looks like he isn't even human! Sometimes I'm not so sure he and Luffy ARE human."

"So the statue is based exactly off of the person? What about the giant scar you gave Asura, is it real?" Sanji asked, peering at Zoro from the side of his eyes. The green haired man rolled his eyes and took a large drink of his beer, "If you want to ask me about the damn scar ask me, don't dance around it and ask Usopp."

Sanji scowled at the other man, bristling at his tone, "Sorry for speaking to the artist about his sculpture, I was merely curious and asking someone who could interact with people like a fucking polite human being."

Zoro growled, "And polite human beings talk about others like they aren't even there?"

Sanji opened his mouth to snap back but was interrupted by sharp kick to the forming bruise on his shin. Nami shook her head at him before turning back to her conversation.

"Zoro!? Oh it is you! Hey Zoro!" A high pitched voice called. Zoro groaned and dropped his head on the table, "Fuck. Someone kill me."

"Sorry Zoro." Usopp shrugged, "No can do."

"Zoro! I haven't seen you in forever! Have you been avoiding me?" A short Goth girl with obnoxiously pink hair and heavy black make up pranced up to the table, "I've missed you! Mihawk misses you too! Even though he doesn't say it I know he does! You should come visit sometime! Then you can wear the bear suit!"

"Fuck off Perona." Zoro snarled, glaring at the girl. She pouted at him and tugged his arm, "Zoroo! Why are you so mean to me?"

"I said fuck off." Zoro growled, ripping his arm from her grasp. Sanji shot to his feet and was by Perona's side in an instant, "Oi, that is no way to speak to a lady mosshead."

"You can stay the fuck out of this curlybrow." Zoro growled, standing up so he could look Sanji in the eyes. Sanji glowered back at him, his anger rising at the fact the bastard was about a centimeter taller than him.

"Anything that has to do with a lady is my business shithead." Sanji growled, taking a step closer to Zoro.

"Uh, guys… can we not fight in the middle of Brook's bar?" Usopp squeaked, stumbling to get out of the booth.

"I second that idea." Brook called, standing up himself and trying to get out as well. Zoro snarled and stepped closer to Sanji so they were forehead to forehead, "You wanna fight shit head?"

"Bring it." Sanji huffed, pressing his forehead hard against Zoro's, Perona completely forgotten. Suddenly a pair of strong but delicate hands tore them apart, forcing them both to stumble back. Nami glared at them both, her hands pressing both of them back. Zoro snarled at her and pushed her hand off him. She winced at the force and Sanji snapped. He lunged forward and pushed Zoro back, walking after him towards the back exit. He ignored the sound of his precious flower calling his name, only focusing on the idiotic lout in front of him, who seemed to get the message. The muscular man stalked to the exit and pushed through the door, Sanji hot on his heels.

They were on each other the second they left the building. Sanji kicked his leg out at the same time Zoro swung his fist, both aiming to injure. Zoro seemed only slightly surprised Sanji was fighting with only his legs, putting most of his focus into blocking those legs and sending his own attacks. Sanji had to hand it to him, he was a good fighter. He had perfect form, and had an amazing force behind each one of his punches. His muscles rippled under the skin as he lashed out at Sanji, barely missing the sculptor's face. Sanji mentally shook himself, now was not the time to be appreciating form and anatomy, not if he didn't want to get hurt. He grunted as he blocked another powerful punch with his leg, jumping up and aiming his foot at Zoro's side.

He watched in confusion as a smirk flitted across the asshole's face, and followed his eyes to Sanji's leg, it was then he realized his mistake, sadly too late. Zoro grabbed Sanji's ankle with bruising force, trapping the other man. Using the trapped limb he pushed forward, causing Sanji to hop back so he wouldn't fall. He hopped until his back was against the alley wall and Zoro's body trapped him. When he had imagined himself being pinned by the other man, this was not exactly what he had wanted.

He glared at Zoro, squirming and trying to bring his other leg up to kick the asshole. Zoro snarled and twisted the leg he held captive. Sanji gasped in pain and stilled, holy fucking shit that had hurt, the asshole better not have broken his leg.

"ZORO!" The shrill cry startled them both. Zoro dropped Sanji's leg and took several quick steps away from him. Sanji let his head drop back against the rough brick as he panted from the exertion and pain. All of their friends were standing in the doorway, Chopper in the front of the group. The teen flew down the stairs and ran to Sanji, dropping to the ground and grabbing his ankle gently, prodding the muscle and bone.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Usopp screeched at Zoro, "you just met him and you try to break his leg?"

"It's nothing serious." Chopper announced, "But you should ice it and keep it elevated tonight. If it's alright I'd like to check it tomorrow."

Sanji nodded silently, his eyes never leaving Zoro. The green haired man wasn't looking at him, he was trying to avoid Luffy's eyes as he and Usopp chewed him out.

"I'll take you home." Nami was by Sanji's side and was tugging gently at his arm, when had she come down the stairs? He shot another look at Zoro before following Nami, Robin and Franky from the alley.

What the hell had happened? Zoro was supposed to be perfect, like his appearance, like Asura. Robin's voice floated through his voice, _"the state of an Asura reflects the mental state of a human being obsessed with ego, force and violence, always looking for an excuse to get into a fight, angry with everyone and unable to maintain calm or solve problems peacefully."_

He shook his head, pushing asuras from his mind and focused on walking without putting too much weight on his foot or his sweet Nami. Evidentially Zoro's beauty was only skin deep.


End file.

One Piece, Humor, Romance