Harry Potter I Can't Love You, But I Do

**Title:****  I Can't Love You, But I Do**

**Author:**** harrypotterfreak (Christie…or as my sister calls me, Crispy)**

**Rating:**** PG13**

**Paring:**** Harry/Draco**

**Summary:**** Draco breaks the news to Harry; he can't love him.  But Harry can't stand it.  He needs to have Draco back in his life. **

**Category:**** Romance/Angst**

**Authors Note:  ****A little ficlet…and it is COMPLETE!  No more chapters after this.  Oh yeah…and yes I am still writing in Forbidden Lust, and TSDRWTC.**

This fanfic is dedicated to Vamp.  Dorm 10 rocks! ^_^ 

I groaned as I saw Draco sitting more than necessary next to Zambini.  Why do I even care?  I thought... he already proved to you how much you mean to him.  You meant nothing-zip, zero, zilch.

I guess I am just hoping he'd say he's sorry or something.  After all what he did say was pretty cruel, surely he didn't mean it, though.  But, what if he did?  What if he meant every word of it?  I could not-would not, look him the same way again.

Yet, here I am watching his every move from the corner of my eye.  Watching him lean in to tell Zambini something so only they could hear.  I suddenly felt a strong urge to kick something.  Luckily my foot kicked the table leg and not Parvati's.

I flinched when I felt the sudden pain in my foot.  However, the pain in my foot was nothing compared to the ache in my heart.  

"Harry, what is wrong?" asked Parvati, while she brushed her hand on my arm, with concern.  It seemed only yesterday Draco had done this same gesture to me, whenever I was in pain.

I wanted her to go away, I wanted her to stop touching me, I wanted her to leave me alone-so I could wallow in my own self pity, but most of all, I wanted Draco back.

"N-nothing's wrong, Parvati.  I'll go get us some drinks okay?" I said.

"Oh alright."

I got up from the table, relieved that her hand left my arm.  I walked slowly through the dancing couples over to the refreshments.  I picked up a goblet of punch and gulped it down.  I glanced over at Draco's table again.  Zambini was on her feet asking Draco to dance.  Draco just nodded his head 'no' and Zambini sulked away.  I smirked.

Right when I smirked however, Draco looked up and met my eyes.  I was too stunned to do anything; I couldn't look away and neither, it seemed could he.  I stared deep into his eyes and then something happened, I felt myself recalling the night of the break up.

_"Draco, do you love me?"_

_He didn't say anything, but snuggled closer to me.  He usually didn't say anything after we made love, I just thought he had a lot on his mind, and didn't know what to say.  After all, he was running from his father, Voldemort, and anyone else on the Dark Side, all because of me._

_"I love you." I said._

_Draco only groaned into my bare shoulder.  I could feel him getting more uncomfortable, lying next to me.  I sat him up on my lap and looked deep into his eyes.  "Draco what's wrong?"_

_He opened and closed his mouth several times, speechless-thinking how best to say how he felt.  Finally Draco croaked out, "I can-can't love you."_

_I stared at him, stunned.  I was so shocked, that the anger inside of me didn't show up until he ran outside my dorm.  I ran after him, yelling frantically, "WAIT!"  I flew out of my dorm and outside in the common room.  He was standing in front of the portrait hole, not moving, with his back to me. _

_"I can't love you." He repeated, not even daring to turn around and face me._

_I yelled back, "WHY NOT?  WHY NOT, DRACO?  I LOVE YOU…."_

_And then the strangest thing happened, he turned around and slowly walked to me, saying, "Listen Harry, whatever you do, don't come after me."  And then, then he kissed me. Out of all the kisses we shared, this one kiss felt different from all of them.  It shared more meaning- love and longing.  I wanted that kiss to last forever, but it didn't.  It lasted a mere few seconds, before Draco left the common room._

_I watched him leave the Gryffindor common room, all the while, wondering if that would be the last time Draco and I would be together._

I then felt myself being brought to reality as Draco got up from his table and was heading my way.  My heart was beating so fast, I felt like it was going to zoom out of my body any minute.  He then brushed past me, and grabbed a drink- acting as if nothing had happened between us.   I then felt as if I wanted to scream to the world, how much he meant to me.  But I couldn't do it.

He placed his goblet back on the table and started walking back to his table.  I don't know what made me do it, but I reached for him.  I grabbed his forearm and he turned around and said, "What the-?"  But he froze once he noticed it was me.  There we stood, in the center of the room, just staring at each other.  I always knew Draco had beautiful eyes, but right now, with all these emotions flying through them, I was in awe.  I seemed to have gotten an understanding within those eyes, that maybe, perhaps maybe, Draco felt the same way I did.  Maybe he couldn't stand being away from me, the way I couldn't stand being away from him.

 After Draco had gotten over his initial shock of seeing me, he took my hand in his and whispered, "I think we should talk."  He dragged me out of the Great Hall, through the dancing people, and then he took me outside on the grounds.  He then sat on a nice patch of grass, and patted the ground next to him.  I sat.

"I'm sorry," he said, "For doing that to you."

He was sorry?  Well, what did that mean?  Did that mean he loved me?  Then if he loved me, "Why'd you do it then?" I said.

Draco sighed and looked up at the bright stars in the midnight sky, as he whispered, "It's complicated."

My temper seemed to rise, for I wanted to know the answer to my question.  "Well it's even more complicated that I don't even know what's going on!" I nearly yelled.

Draco got off the ground and stood looking down at Harry, yelling, "Harry don't get mad at me!  I had no choice!  You have no idea what shit I have to deal with everyday!  You want to know why I left?  You really do?  Well fine!"  He sighed and said, "I had to leave because he told me he was going to kill you, if I didn't."

My eyebrows raised in confusion.  "Huh?  Who's he?  Draco, if your talking about Voldemort-well he's already trying to kill me.  I don't see why you had to leave if that's the case."

Draco shook his head.  "No not Voldemort…my father, Harry.  My father knows that I was with you.  He threatened me that if I don't 'straighten' up that he'll have to kill you."  

I got off the ground and faced Draco, "Well who cares what your father says?  My God Draco, I missed you so much, you can't expect me to live like this- away from you."  I inched closer to him, until my nose was barely touching him, and then I whispered, "I'd risk getting myself killed, to have you back in my life, Draco."

"B-but Harry…" he stuttered.

"Listen," I whispered, "Let's think logically, if I can escape Voldemort countless times, I can probably escape your father too." 

He nodded his head and said, "I couldn't stand it you know?  Ignoring you was probably the most difficult thing I ever tried to do before."

I chuckled and snaked my arm around his waist, "So, we're back together again?"

Draco smiled and whispered in my ear, "You could say that…" Then he kissed me.  His lips against mine felt so good, and it made me realize how much I had missed our connection.  Our first kiss was slow; we took our time.  We broke the connection a few seconds later, and then I was met staring in the eyes of Draco Malfoy.  The moonlight was shining right down on him, and I thought I had never seen anyone so beautiful in all my life.  He then smiled; the most beautiful smile, and whispered to me, "I love you."

I felt a wave of emotions wash over me.  I couldn't help but smile, as I heard the words, I have longed to hear for so long.  I brought him closer to me and said, "I love you too, I love you so much."  

**-The End-**


End file.

Harry Potter, Angst, Romance