Invader Zim 1. Visiting Houses of DOOM

pureVENOM: Ah, current setting! Well, it is now the weekend, and Fausta is trying to relax and think of an Earth-conquering plan. Yep, yep!  
Disclaimer's on first chapter! Jhonen Vasquez is almighty.  
Oh, and RogueStar, I thank you for all your support and reviews and stuff! It makes me all happiful!!  
Hehe, well, I'm watching Invader Zim at the same time I'm attempting to write this. I LOVE ZIMMY!! OMG, Bad, Bad Rubber Piggy is SO evil...  
Geez... I LOST my paper full of this fics notes for future chapters!! Darn it!! I'll just have to think of them again!  
  
-----------------------  
  
Chapter Three: Visiting Houses of DOOM  
  
-----------------------  
  
** Fausta and Faust's Earthen base  
  
Fausta lay back on her small, but very fluffy sofa, gazing at the bullet-laser-proof glass aquarium of a wall in front of her.  
Multi-colored fish and shrimp crawled or floated lazily about the life-covered rocks in the crystalline water.  
It was bliss, being out of skool. Too bad she had to go back in a mere two days... Oh well. It was be nice to see Dib and Zim's torment of being there with her.  
The Wing Invader was mentally debating on whether to go with Project DARK, or with--  
  
"Why do you spend so much so much time staring into that overly large fish-tank, Fausta? Spend your time doing more productive things, or I'll take off Wing Invader Credits."  
Faust stalked over to his little cousin, frowning.  
His platinum wings glimmered under the dim tank lights, unlike Fausta's drab onyx ones.  
She scowled at that thought.  
  
"I'm thinking, Faust. Do not disturb me," Fausta replied coolly, wrapping her wings about her.  
The darkness of them displayed her low ranking, but she still liked the color black. The cold, dark infinity of the color. How the whole of space was it, such a pure color. The absence and presence of all color.  
  
"You know, you're losing too many Credits on behavior already, Fausta. AND on those strange incidents when your other mind takes over." Faust didn't like the girl's insolence towards him. "And what's so great about that glass barricade for fish?"  
  
Fausta sighed. Her moron of a cousin could never appreciate the tranquil beauty of it.  
"It's very relaxing, Faust. You just sit still and gaze into the clear waters for a few minutes, and it's like your brain is being absorbed."  
  
"Absorbed by the shrimp?" he joked, looking at a large fire shrimp.  
  
She shook her head and sighed again. "Yes, absorbed by the shrimp..." The Wing Invader hopped off the sofa, and headed outside, after grabbing her auxiliary pack and slinging it over her shoulder.  
  
"Where're you going in this time of night, little cousin?" Faust asked, not really caring, popping open a Cherry Poop.  
  
"Somewhere you're not."  
  
** Zim and GIR's Earthen base  
  
"ARGH! That FILTHY, schizoid Wing-BEAST!" Zim winced as a twinge of pain stung his fractured bones as he hobbled over to a computer. "AND that DIB-Human... Oh, why must this BE!? Why is the great ZIM plagued by such foul luck??"  
  
GIR came skidding into the labs, making 'whooshy' sounds, while holding up his little squeaky pig and moose.  
"Master! Look! They're FLYING!!" With that shouted, GIR threw the two rubber items, hitting Zim in his broken ribs.  
  
"AHHHHHH!!!" Zim was on the ground, screaming very loudly.  
  
"Ooh!!! That's looks like FUN!" GIR sprawled onto the cold tiled floor, mimicking his master.  
  
Eye twitching very much, Zim had his robot legs help him back up.  
"GIR.... Please... DON'T do that again..."  
  
The SIR looked confused, but saluted anyway.  
  
Zim's all-present scowl deepened. His healing was progressing rather slowly because of repeated attacks from Fausta, Dib, and GIR. He smoothed back his antennae and pressed a few buttons on his computer.  
  
"Master! Are you calling those Tally...Irken...Leader guys??" GIR asked innocently, cocking his robot head to the side. "You haven't talked to them in such a LONG time!!"  
  
Zim's antennae drooped and he lowered his green head. "No, GIR," he replied nonchalantly. "I'm not going to talk to them ever again. Understand?"  
  
"Um... YETH! ..Wait, ..no." GIR looked around nervously, and then went to bounce around on his head. "Master!! How come you don't wear your favorite red shirt anymore?? You wanna bounce with me, master?? It's FUN!"  
  
The Irken sighed.  
  
"What's wrong, master??" GIR asked giddily, not stopping his bouncing. "It is it the moose again?? I LOVE mooses!!! They're so MOOSEY!!!"  
  
GIR then had a bunch of video screens float by, all with mooses on them, and Humans petting them.  
  
Zim picked up the horribly painful squeaky moose with two gloved claws. "Yes... It was the moose...."  
  
The little robot soon bored of watching moose, and switched the channel to a Krazy Taco commercial.  
The Krazy Taco Man spewed some rambling nonsense about how crazy he was, and how crazy the tacos were, then fell over.  
  
GIR stared, mesmerized, into the screen. "Must obey... the Taco Man!"  
  
Zim had observed this strange taco-y behavior from GIR for quite some time now.  
"Hm... This... 'Krazy Taco Human' seems to have influential powers over his... less-intellectual viewers." The Irken glared at GIR who was currently drooling over a taco he had gotten from the replicator.  
  
"Ah... Fascinating, no??"  
  
"Yes. VERY." Zim rubbed his gloved hands together, grinning evilly, showing that he had an evil plan to conquer Earth. "..." He blinked. "Wait a minute... WING-BEAST!!!"  
  
Fausta laughed and leapt down from the wired ceiling, in front of Zim.  
  
"What are YOU doing in the base of Ziiiim, flappy Fausta??" he questioned, glaring angrily. The thought of his Hi Skool desk falling onto his broken self was NOT fun.  
  
"Same reason I go to Hi Skool with you and Dib, really. One, to get away from Faust, and two, to keep a watchful eye on my dear enemies," she replied with venomous sweetness.  
  
"OOH!! IT'S KIL!!!" GIR vaulted up, and wrapped his tiny arms around her face. "I MISSED YOU KIL! Let's watch the Krazy Taco Commercial Marathon!!"  
  
The Wing Invader managed to pry the huggable little SIR off of her head. "No, GIR. I'm FAUSTA. NOT Kil. I do NOT want to watch that INSIDIOUS TV. I--"  
  
"But the moose LOVES yooooou!!!" GIR retorted, waving another squeaky moose around with his metallic claw. "We even made a Hello Cake for you!!"  
The small robot pulled a mass of cream, icing, semi-cooked dough, and other little goodies from his hollow head. It had the words 'we miss you Kil! HiiiIIIIii!' written in cyan frosting on it.  
  
Fausta blinked. No one had ever done anything nice for her before. She shook of the thought. "Thank you, GIR. But I have quite importa--"  
  
"The piggiiiiesss... The mooseiiiesss... You have to PLAY with us!" GIR whined, blue-green oculars filling up with tears.  
  
The Wing Invader's left eye started to twitch. She then grasped her head in shock. "NO! Kil! Argh!! I HATE that--" Fausta shook her head violently, as if trying to throw her other self out of her head. She suddenly stopped, and a huge smile came over her features. "HIYA, GIR!! Long time, no... ...... CAKE!!!!"  
Kil, who had just taken control, leapt into the large cake, shoveling the sweet sugary-ness of it down her throat.  
GIR giggled in a high-pitched tone, and went to join her in Hello Cake eating.  
  
Zim gave the two a strange look, shrugged and went over to where he kept a small arsenal of lasery weapons.  
  
"AHAH!!" a voice cried out. "I KNEW it!!"  
  
The Irken gave a disbelieving gasp, realizing the owner of the voice. "DIB!! You filth-beast!! What are YOU doing here!? Why is everyone in my base!?!? ...And what do you know??"  
  
Dib, lowered his black mask, revealing his face. He didn't like the way his voice was muffled behind the cloth.  
"It was easy getting inside. Fausta did something to your security system." He shrugged, then glared. "And I KNEW you two Invaders were working together!!"  
  
"What? I am NOT working with that FILTHY Wing-worm, and-- HUH!? WHAT!?! MY SECURITY SYSTEM!?!?!"  
The Irken sprinted to his main computer and began to type furiously.  
  
Dib looked a bit confused. "But... The both of you are trying to conquer Earth, right...?"  
  
"Yes," Zim answered quickly, still trying to fix the little security problem.  
  
"Um..." Kil responded through a mouthful of icing. "I think Fausta wants to do something like that... She's so weird!" The happy little Wing girl went back to chomping on the badly-made pastry.  
  
"Uh huh. And you're both Invaders, right??" Dib continued his questioning.  
  
Zim didn't answer that question. Kil didn't either, since she was busy wrestling GIR for the last bite of cake.  
  
"Whatever. So you two DON'T want to work together, and never will, right??" the Human added.  
  
"Correct, sad, little Earth-monkey." Zim had just completed restoring the security program.  
  
"Yesss!!" That was a good thing for Dib, and his mankind. He looked into his wrist communicator. "Gaz!! Did you hear that!? Isn't it great!??! What!? GAZ! How can you not care about the fate of all Humanity!?? Alright, alright... I'll be quiet..."  
  
Anyhow, it turns out that GIR and Kil split the last bit of cake.  
  
"Whoo!! We finished the Hello Cake, GIR!" Kil announced happily.  
  
"Whee!! That was fun!" GIR agreed.  
  
They then looked at each other.  
  
"Whoo!" Kil said.  
  
"Whee!!" GIR shouted.  
  
"WHOO!!" was the Wing's reply.  
  
"WHEE!!!!"  
  
"WHOOoOOO~!!!"  
  
"WHEE HEE HOO!!!"  
  
"WH--"  
  
Zim stopped this brain-rotting little argument by blasting Kil to the far side of the lab with a laser burst. His eye was twitching quite a bit.  
  
Dib sighed in relief. "THANK you."  
  
The Irken grinned maliciously and aimed the laser once more. Not at Kil this time, though.  
Dib began screaming very loudly and running around, trying to avoid being fried.  
  
"Oh please. Can't we all just grow up?"  
A long, dark tentacle plucked the laser from Zim's destruction-loving claw.  
"Yes, you two. Fausta is BACK! Ahaha!! FEAR ME!"  
  
"Hey, wait a minute... You just helped me??" Dib questioned, amazed.  
  
"Yeah, yeah," Fausta replied, boredly. "I don't want either of you to die BEFORE I control Earth. "I'll kill you both personally after this world is mine."  
  
"Oh, well THAT's nice to hear," Zim stated sarcastically, smoothing out his large, navy-blue T-shirt.  
  
Fausta smiled thinly. "Isn't it?? Still, if any of you bother me, I will be forced to hurt you."  
  
Dib blinked. "Uh... well, then. I guess I'll be going now!" The Human was just about to run off, when Zim stopped him.  
  
"Hold your Human horses, Dib-worm," Zim growled coolly. He held out an open claw.  
  
"What?" Dib questioned. "WHAT!?"  
  
"Oh, COME ON, mortal. Just give it to him..." Fausta scowled.  
  
"Aw... This..stinks..." Dib dug into a hidden pocket at his side and drew out a tiny camera, dropping it into Zim's hand.  
The Human frowned at the Wing and Irken. "You jerks..."  
  
Zim grinned and began to laugh maniacally as Dib sulked away.  
  
"Hang on, Dib-mortal." Fausta fluffed up her onyx wings in annoyance.  
  
Dib let out an exasperated sigh. "Sweet jumping chili beans!! ALL RIGHT!" He pulled out another camera and handed it to her. "Annoying aliens..."  
  
Fausta eyed Dib angrily. "I'm NOT an alien, but thank you for your cooperation." Having no use for the camera, the Wing gave the item to Zim, and headed off with a pouting Dib.  
  
Zim breathed out in relief as the two rivals disappeared. He checked on his computer to see that they both had left.  
"FINALLY." The Irken crushed the two little cameras with a robotic leg and smiled. "Now, back to my evil plotting, I guess."  
  
"Mm! Master, do you want me to make YOU a Hello Cake too??" GIR asked sweetly, sticking out a pink tongue from the side of his metallic mouth. "Kil really liked hers!"  
  
"No, GIR. I have much bigger things to do..." Zim replied, and ended it with a string of malicious laughter.  
  
** The Dib-house  
  
Gaz scowled upon her GameSlaveMasterIV. It had been a brand new game, and there weren't any strategy guides out for Doomy Blood Pigs III yet... How did she know to go left, and that if she didn't, Ultra Piggulon would try to use an instant death move?  
Did that weirdo DARE to imply that she was the superior gamer??  
Gaz's already nearly closed eyes narrowed even more at that.  
  
"ANOTHER perfect dooming of Zim RUINED!!"  
  
A sharp, familiar, and very annoying voice sliced through Gaz's train of thought. Her fists tightened in fury.  
"Be quiet, Dib! I'm thinking!" she shouted from her room.  
  
"Gaz, this is the living room! I can talk loud here if I want! If you want to think, go to your--"  
  
Gaz shut him up with a mega death glare. "This...IS...my...ROOM..."  
  
"All right, Gaz. I'll leave you and 'your room'! But I'm still angry about that Fausta-...Kil-or-whatever-...Wingy person messing everything up!" Dib complained further.  
  
There was a low growl from the living room-- er... Gaz room sofa. Dib slunk quietly upstairs, to his bedroom to pout some more.  
  
** Fausta's base! ...Alright, sheesh... Fausta AND FAUST's base...  
  
"Oh, you're back." Faust was gulping down a Classic Diet Poop as his little cousin headed in from the now-broken front window.  
  
Fausta scowled, brushing shards of glass from her long hair. "You know, Faust. You COULD'VE opened the door for me."  
  
The Platinum Wing shrugged. "I'm drinking."  
  
"Look, I'm tired. I used my cell rearranging abilities again. Please, don't make my headache worse..." the Onyx Wing growled, and slouched over to the hidden elevator in the living room water fountain.  
  
"I really HATE that elevator," Faust commented absently, watching the fish-tank, and wondering what his little cousin would do if he just fried all those little critters. "You get all wet when you ride it."  
  
"I like it," Fausta replied, tiredly. "And now I like it even more."  
  
Faust 'hmph'ed loudly. "Fausta. Call up those Irkens. We need more supplies."  
  
"Specify."  
  
"Just get whatever," Faust replied indifferently.  
His little cousin would probably just buy new pets if he destroyed them.  
The Platinum Wing got up from the sofa and brushed at his silvery armor. He needed more Poops.  
  
The eerie, bluish lighting of the levels below ground were nice and relaxing. They also made a really kewl and quiet humming sound because of the powerful energy generator.  
Unlike the parasitic Irken methods of energy retrieval, this energy generator ran on water. Which was why there was so much water everywhere in the base. Fountains, tanks, tubs, sinks, springs, leaks. There was a small stream and pond in the front and back yard, respectively. The Irkens merely had large metallic wires suck out electricity from the surrounding area.  
  
Fausta liked water. Such a magnificent thing! Life could not exist without it, yet could easily die by it. By the lack or excess of it, or wild watery disasters. It was powerful and prettiful at the same time.  
The Wing stalked over to the computer in her chambers by the labs.  
She established a transmission to the Intergalactical Irken Trade Ship (IITS) and the screen displayed a blue-eyed Irken , masked under a red uniform.  
  
"State your business," he grumbled, bored out of his Irken mind.  
  
"This is Onyx Wing--" she stopped and glowered when the Irken trade-manager began snickering at her low ranking.  
  
"Ahem. I'm sorry, miss." The Irken cleared his throat. "Please, go on."  
  
"Riiight..." Fausta scowled. "This is Onyx Wing..." She stopped to let the Irken giggle some more, and decided not to start over again. She didn't want to do this all night, after all. "Fausta. I'm the current student of Platinum Wing Faust--"  
  
The Irken's azure eyes widened. "THE FAUST!? DEAR IRK, I LOVE HIS SHOW!! CAN YOU GET ME HIS AUTOGRAPH!?!"  
  
Fausta rolled her eyes. "His pathetic show based on the Milky Way Galaxy's carbonated drinks!? What is WRONG with you!?" She gave a false cough. "Erm... I mean, sure. Will it be worth um...."  
She just pulled some stuff from the top of her head. Faust never specified on supplies. Improvision, he said, was an important art. "Five Voot Cruisers, one SIR unit, three Voot Runners, four Voot Carriers, eight of the latest AI brains, six one-ton pieces of your most powerful yet of course inferior Irken metals, um.... and a side of curly fries."  
  
"You got yourself a deal!!" the Irken trade-manager cried, finishing off the list.  
  
"Don't forget the ketchup," the Onyx Wing reminded.  
  
"Of course not, student of Faust!" He saluted and began to type it down.  
  
"Hey, did someone just say curly fries and ketchup?"  
Red suddenly appeared in the video screen.  
  
Fausta frowned thinly. She didn't like people who betrayed their own kind. "Yeah, I said it--"  
  
The Onyx Wing was interrupted by someone bursting through her bedroom door.  
It was Faust, and he was holding a struggling Human by the collar.  
  
"Faust, just KNOCK the door instead of KNOCKING it down, next time!! Sheesh!" Fausta's angry look deepened when she saw the face of the Human.  
  
"Fausta, I found this HUMAN snooping around in the front yard." Faust lifted Dib up a little for added emphasis. "Don't lead these strays back over to our base. You just lost a lot more Credits."  
  
Fausta's eyes widened at that. "ERGH! Blasted MORTAL!! When I'm done with Earth, I'll have you burning in the infernoes!!"  
  
Dib quivered a bit. Then he saw the screen with Tallest Red on it.  
"NOOO!!! MORE ZIM-RACE-IRKEN-..THINGIES!! You two ARE working together!! You can't lie to meee!!!"  
  
Red blinked, confused. "....Zim's ALIVE??"  
There was a sound of someone big falling over, choking, and then Tallest Purple shoved Red aside, and glared into the screen. "WHAT!? He was on an autopsy table!! He was dead for SURE!!"  
  
"Dib-mortal..." Fausta began dangerously. "Don't start anything..." She looked at the Tallests quizzically. "And why are the Irken Tallests on a mere trade ship?"  
  
"Well, RED here, lost his favorite red paper clip here--"  
  
"It was not my 'FAVORITE'! It was my LUCKY one!!" he corrected Purple. "And HOW and WHY is Zim still alive!?! He's supposed to be DEAD!!!"  
  
"Sheesh, you guys REALLY do not like him, huh...?" Dib asked, stilling hanging by his collar. "And this may be sorta hypocritical, but you two are really messed up."  
  
"What!? That insolent little,... Earthy...PERSON dares to say such a thing to the Almighty Tallest??" Red questioned in a disbelieving tone.  
  
"Irken Tallest Red, Tallest Purple," Faust started, annoyed with all this. "Me and my disciple are quite busy right now with this intruder. Permission to end this transmission?"  
He switched off the computer before the Tallests had a chance to answer.  
"Fausta. What do you wish to do with this spy? It's your fault he's here. Otherwise, I would've flayed him on the spot." Faust glared, disappointedly at his little cousin.  
  
Dib turned about six shades paler at the words 'flayed him' and looked at Fausta pleadingly. She obviously wasn't happy about his intrusion, Credit loss, and blurting about Zim.  
  
Fausta sighed. "I'll deal with him when Earth is in my possession."  
  
"Ah. Good to hear you haven't gone completely soft, little cousin," Faust grinned. He was kind of hoping he'd get to cut up the intruder though. Oh well...  
  
The Onyx Wing scowled. "I have NOT gone soft. I'm still like all the other Wing Invaders."  
  
"Waiit... You told Gaz that you were created! How can you have a COUSIN??" Dib asked. Yeah, he WAS in a pretty life-or-deathy situation but hey! He has a big head, so he has a big mouth, as well!  
  
"You know, mortal, that big mouth of yours is going to wind you up in agonizing situations someday..." Fausta warned. "But, he's my 'big cousin' because we share a small strand of DNA, and stuff like that. I don't want to get into some huge science lecture about Wing Invaders."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Anyway, Faust," the Onyx Wing began. "How about we catapult him back to his pitiful Human home??" She grinned evilly. "It'll be fun!"  
  
Faust used his free hand to rub his chin thoughtfully. "Hm. We haven't used that old thing in years! Good idea, Fausta! I'll give you some Credits for Evilness and a few for Creativity."  
  
Fausta beamed. It had been a while since she'd GAINED points!  
  
------------------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Haha, poor, lil' Dibby!  
Well, how was that?? Zim's plan should be unleashed next chapter! Then, a plan from Fausta. And I'm expecting an old Irken face to appear in later chapters to cause some trouble. Also, a new Wing will be wreaking havoc in later chapters.  
Once I read the JtHM books, I'm PROBABLY going to have the characters (Nny, Devi, Tenna, Squee, and others) appear every now and then. OMG, I can NOT wait for the books to arrive!!!  
  
REVIEWER SELECTION--  
Hey, tell me if the new Wing should be a guy or a girl. I can't make up my pitiful mind. He or she will come a bit later, and may stay for a very long, or relatively short time, depending on my mood. Just know that s/he is going to be trouble for AT LEAST Fausta.  
Not sure about how the others will take to it yet...  
  
Moral of Today's Chapter--  
Catapulting unwanted people out of your house is very fun, even with your ANNOYING cousin. AND, it'll earn you Creativity and Evilness Credits! 


	2. Faces of DOOMY EVIL

pureVENOM: Whoo!! My first NON-script humor fic!!! OMG!!!! FEAR ME!!  
I don't own Invader Zim!! The GREAT and ALMIGHTY Jhonen Vasquez does!! ALL WORSHIP HIM!!  
The Idiot Trio Wars is the sequel to my Failure and Change fic!! Still, it isn't really necessary to read. I'm gonna try to write this fic as humorous, strange, and well as I can. I'm trying to get that IZ episodey feel. Hopefully, my PATHETIC Earthenoid writing skills can do this alright...  
Firstly, I'm gonna do a profile-thingy. Why?? It's kinda traditional, I think. And it sorta gives ya a feel fer da characters, and what I think of them. Also, it's pretty fuuun!!!  
  
-----------------  
  
The Idiot Trio Wars  
Chapter One: The Faces of DOOMY EVIL  
  
-----------------  
  
Alrighty then! First of all, let's do a lil' profile-thingy for some of the characters!! Course, no character in the great IZ is NOT major, but, there're really too many to profile, so I'm jes gonna do SOME...  
  
Zim-- "HAH! You flatter yourself, Wing-beast! Earth is the property of ZIM!!"  
Zim is an egotistical, yet very formidable Irken soldier. He doesn't have much of a sense of humor, but is quite funny himself. ^.^ Hehe... I love him...  
He despises Earthenoids with all his lil' heart. ESPECIALLY those HORRIBLE Dib, Gaz, and Fausta/Kil beasts. Why Gaz? Well, he never really did forgive her for the time she saved Dib. Lately, he's also taken a deep hatred to his own people. Yeah... So don't mess with him! He's been REALLY grumpy.  
Some of the only things he DOES like are DOOMY weapons, hurting his rivals, victories, and of course, his WONDERFUL and almighty self.  
Zim's recent discovery that he wasn't a real invader was a huge blow to him, and is very painful. **sniff!!** Yet it makes him all the more deadly. .... Yaaaay!!! No, that's a BAD thing. .... YAAAY!!!!  
Our favorite power-hungry Irken soldier continues to try to conquer Earth, wanting to prove himself to.... well, himself!! He may not be this way for long... **shrug** Change is always good... **blink** Okay, well, not ALWAYS.  
  
Dib-- "I'll stop you two!! ...Right AFTER I finish this Cherry Poop."  
Ah, Dib. An incredibly intelligent Human interested in the paranormal. He was experimented on as a baby by unknown aliens, becoming super-smart, and aspires to become a paranormal investigator when he's older. And for some reason, Bigfoot often stays in the garage of his home. ... Bigfoot... o.O;;;  
Much of Dib's time for the past five years had been devoted to studying Zim, saving Earth from him, and trying to capture/reveal/kill him, and he's very UN-happy about the new psychotic threat to Earth.   
Dib totally HATES Zim and Fausta, 'cause ya know, since they're trying to take over Earth. And he also hates his classmates since they're so STUPID, and they make fun of him, and think he's crazy. Oh, WHY CAN'T THEY SEE?!!? **cough**  
Anyhoo, he'll stop at almost nothing to get rid of his planet's two threats, and he fears nothing but Bitters and his sister. **wiggles fingers** Eviiilll.... Eviiilll....  
  
Fausta-- "Soon, the world will be MINE.... Mwa haha..."  
Oh no... Not HER. **sigh** A sadistic member of an Earthen race, before completely unknown to Humans. She is at the lowest possible ranking of the Wing Invaders (Onyx Wings) and dreams of someday being at the top (Platinum Wings). She's the first of her kind to even WANT to control Earth, their miserable home-planet, and is well... working on conquering it!  
Her big cousin Faust, who likes sugar, caffiene, and cutting stuff up, is a Platinum Wing (Irk knows how HE made it to the top... -__-) and is Fausta's overseer. His judgement will greatly affect her ranking, but she doesn't seem to really care, as she just HATES him.  
Fausta also hates Zim, Dib, her other self, and... well, just about everything! Still, she respects her two rivals, since their resistance will boost her ranking a little once (or IF) she conquers Earth.  
As a Wing Invader, she was genetically engineered by her creators (yes, Wing Invaders are test-tube babies, like Irkens) to be able to manipulate her cells' actions, giving her abilities such as rapid healing, changing form, and renewing vital organs (think immortality). Yeek! Not good!! Hehe... Let's do something to these powers later on...  
  
Kil-- "But... but... muffins are REALLY yummiful!!"  
Um... A name GIR came up with when he first met her. (Fausta had crash-landed in Zim's front yard, due to EVIL DEATH BEE collision, and was in a foul mood. Those annoying lawn gnomes bothered her and she started destroying them. The noise brought GIR over and his sheer idiocy caused Fausta's long-suppressed other self to emerge.)  
Kil likes eating, video gaming, drawing, and reading, and has an INTENSE fear of needles, tacos, and the Scary Monkey. She's also hopelessly hyper and insane. SOMEONE, please. Just shoot her NOW.  
  
--Well, the Idiot Wars revolves pretty much around these three.... I think. Ya never know 'til ya start writing!! Still, they're not the ONLY characters! Let's meet ANOTHER evil sadist, and the two great and glorious G's!!--  
  
Mr. Bitters-- "Silence, or I'll hang you from the DISGUSTING doorframe by your DOOMed toenails."  
Well, he's NOT Human. Yeah, never was, never will be. He controls the lives of Zim, Dib, and Fausta, and the other students while they're in his class.  
He's the older brother of the infamous Skool teacher, Ms. Bitters, and "teaches" Geometry in High Skool (spelled Hi Skool by some).  
Mr. Bitters's, like his younger sister, has an affinity to roaches, and they scout the skool for any of his students that may be cutting class or punishment. Scary... O.o;;;;;  
He has a nefarious reputation for torturing and killing students, and highly hates some of his more annoying ones (think a certain trio of rivals). (Un!?)Fortunately, the Skool Board says that he has to start giving more REASONABLE and HUMANE punishments. However, his ideas of reasonable and humane may be a bit different than the Board's...  
ALL FEAR THE BITTERS!!!  
  
GIR-- "Is it the moose again??"  
Aww!! Zim's lil' robot slave! GIR was given to him by the Almighty Tallests Red and Purple. He's made out of a broken SIR unit and random pocket junk.  
GIR's more of a hindrance than a help to Zim, as he tends to leave doors and windows open, and having food delivered to the base. He's generally not much of a guard, but has his occasional moments of obediance and seriousness.  
He's pretty much an insane couch potato with a taste for Human food. He's also EXTREMELY cute, (though, not cuter than Zim!) sweet, naive, and innocent. GIR's really nice, and loyal.   
He likes spending time with Kil, since she seems to be the only person who understands him. ...Are you scared too...?  
Ooh! And he has a green puppy costume, and likes squeaky toys!! Hehe!! **cough**  
  
Gaz-- "If you make me lose this life, you weirdo, I will make you wish you had never been created."  
She is Dib's younger sister, and... She. Loves. Video games. Her skills in the world of video games are unmatched. DO NOT LISTEN TO THAT IGGINS-FIEND!!!  
Everyone seems to annoy her, and her hobbies include video gaming, video gaming, eating pizza, reading, and oh, let's not forget video gaming.  
Gaz is usually a very nice (HAH!) and quiet gal, but bother her, and you'll be thrown into a HORRIBLE NIGHTMARE WORLD FROM WHICH THERE IS NO RETURN!! And no, it's not in yours or Dib's huge heads. Hm. I wonder what level she's on now...  
  
--Well, there're other characters too, but these're the ones I'm writin'!! So... enjoy my fic, please!! GIR and Kil will sing the Doom Song for you! Now, for the actual fic!!! The Idiot Wars shall start! MWA HAHAHAHA-- **cough, hack!!**-- Hahaha...  
  
----------------  
  
Dib scowled. Zim was alive. And still a threat to Humanity. He could see the evil glint in his eyes. The alien had been glaring hatefully at him since he staggered into class.  
Dib had to admit though, it was great seeing Zim all bandaged and casted up and in pain.  
  
The Irken, though seriously injured, had come to skool. Well, of course he had. Everyone knows Mr. Bitters hated it when his students were absent. Who knows what he was going to do to the students who were out sick...   
He'd probably hot-glue-gun them to the ceiling for an hour again, and then make them clean up the gluey mess.  
  
Well, at least that weirdo Fausta wasn't around...  
  
"Dib, Zim. Stop glaring at each other before I blind you two in some horribly painful way and use your unseeing eyes as bases in strange experiments." Mr. Bitters twiddled his long, bony fingers, and stared at the opposite wall.  
A roach scuttled down his arm, and onto his desk, squeaking something. It then ran out of the classroom. A janitor walked by, stepping on it. Mr. Bitters hissed angrily, but decided against doing anything. He had a few thousand more of the things, after all.  
  
Zim and Dib turned back to memorizing their horrible textbooks.  
  
"Oh yeah, class," Bitters started dully. "We have a new, strange, and also extremely DOOMed addition to our HORRIBLE class. His name is Fausta. Come in, NOW, you stupid boy."  
  
An awfully familiar-looking person walked into the class, with an indignant look.  
"I'm a GIRL, Sir," she stated, annoyed. It was Fausta. Minus the wings.   
She dressed in a white T-shirt with a pair of silvery wings drawn on the front, black jeans, black gloves, and a black trenchcoat. The same wing motif was used on the coat, at the right arm, and the jeans, lower left leg. Her hair was tied with a long black ribbon, just a few inches from the ends.  
  
"The files here say you're a BOY, Fausta. Argue with me again, and your teeth will be given as donations to the tooth fairy. I still owe him a couple score of dollars," Bitters growled in reply.  
  
Fausta scratched her head, but decided not to say anything more. She was an invader of the Wings, but she didn't know what on Earth the teacher was. But he wasn't Human. ... Hey, did this mean that the tootah fairy was REAL?? ...And she was a HE?? ... Fausta was confused!!  
  
Dib and Zim stared wide-eyed, pointing at the new girl. She smirked back at them maliciously and waved. A cold glare from her teacher stopped her.  
"Um... Where do I sit, Sir?" she asked, nonchalantly.  
  
"AN ALIEN!! SHE'S AN ALIEN!!!" Dib cried.  
  
"I'm NOT an alien. I told you that already, mortal," Fausta snarled back at him disdainfully. Why couldn't mortals ever learn...?  
  
"Oh yeah. Sorry. Force of habit." Dib cleared his throat. "MONSTER!! SHE'S TRYING TO CONQUER EARTH!!!"  
  
Several paper balls hit Dib in the head, followed by many 'be quiets'. The other students seemed to be really fed up with this stuff.  
  
"Wait, how do you KNOW about that?" Fausta asked, blinking. "I didn't tell YOU yet."  
  
"GIR did," Zim answered for his Human rival, rolling his lensed eyes. "I can't believe he believed him."  
  
"Even though it was the truth?" she questioned.  
  
The trio's conversation was stopped abruptly by Mr. Bitters's snakey voice.  
"Since I accidentally," Mr. Bitters said 'accidentally' moving his fingers in the quoting expression. "Ran down Zita with my car yesterday, and she won't be with us for a few months, you can take her seat between Zim and Dib. They seem to like you already."  
  
Fausta snorted and quickly took the seat. "Well, hiya, guys!" she announced coldly to the two.  
  
"If any of you want to say something to the new," Bitters glared at Fausta. "BOY, say so now, or forever regret your pathetic present actions."  
  
"Why are YOU here, you schizoid Wing-beast?" Zim sighed. She may have saved him, but she was planning on taking over Earth and killing them all anyway, so what was the point of caring?  
  
"I wanted to keep an eye on you two," she replied. "All invaders know that observation is the key to success."  
  
Zim let out a little bit of false coughing, stuffing in a 'whatdoyouknowyoufilthywingbeast' in the middle of it.  
Fausta scowled. Her all-time favorite facial expression.  
  
"Hey! Didn't ANYONE hear that, or CARE about that!? She just ADMITTED to being an invader!!" Dib exclaimed. What was WRONG with everyone!? Proof was right in front of them and they wouldn't even bat an eyelash!!  
  
There were some 'be quiet, you crazy person's and more paper throwing.  
  
"Ow! Hey, that one gave me a papercut!!" Dib whined.  
  
Fausta cackled madly at that. "You plan to save your world, and you can't handle a little PAPERCUT!? HAH!! Soon, the world will be MINE... Mwa haha..."  
  
Zim leapt up as best as he could, with all his bandages and casts on. "HAH! You flatter yourself, Wing-beast! Earth is the property of ZIM!!"  
  
Fausta stalked up to the raging Irken and pushed him roughly with a hand. He went toppling over.  
  
"AGH!" There was a loud crash as he fell. "You... may have won... THIS time, Fausta-beast... But--"  
  
Fausta had a dull expression on. She tipped the table over, letting it fall on the grounded alien. He gave a pained gasp.  
Fausta grinned and went back to her seat.  
  
Dib liked this. But... Wait. Both Fausta and Zim wanted to conquer Earth. He DIDN'T like this part...  
"This stinks..." he sighed. Dib pulled a Cherry Poop from a deep pocket, popped it open, and took a swig. The boy then took a deep breath and prepared his bravest, bestest voice. "Zim! Fausta! I don't know what you're planning! But it can't be good!! You know why!? Because I know you two are trying to conquer Earth! And, that's NOT good!! I'll stop you two!!"  
Dib licked his lips. The addictiveness of the caffienated soda was getting to him.  
"...Right AFTER I finish this Cherry Poop." He took another sip, longer this time.  
  
There was a bit of low growling from the front desk. "All right. You've all talked long enough. And Dib, did you bring enough soda for everyone?? If not, put it away right now," Mr. Bitters hissed.  
  
Dib pulled out several packs of six Cherry Poops from his pockets and showed them to Bitters.  
  
"....... I still will not tolerate those HORRIBLE drinks of misery-stealing goodness in MY classroom."  
  
A swarm of roaches then stormed up to Dib and carried away the soda.  
  
Dib frowned. He was about to take another sip as it was snatched away by a long tendril of an arm, from Mr. Bitters.  
  
"Now, everyone." He glared at Fausta, Dib, and Zim, who was still on the ground, wincing in pain. "Silence, or I'll hang you from the DISGUSTING doorframe by your DOOMed toenails."  
  
"If we all even HAVE toenails," Dib muttered towards Fausta and Zim.  
  
Fausta shot him a glare that read, 'Mortal FOOL! Of COURSE I have toenails!'  
  
"Zim, get up, you green imbecile." Mr. Bitters watched the Irken with disinterest. "Do you want ALL of your ribs shattered?"  
  
Zim's eyes shot wide open, and he scrambled up, ignoring the stabs of pain searing through his body.  
  
Fausta liked how the day was going. Her little smiled widened a bit. And then a little more. Wait... There was something wrong!! She couldn't stop her smile!!  
A look of horror flickered over her eyes.  
  
Dib took notice of this behavior and jotted down some notes. He'd taken some notes earlier too, so now the notebook read something like this:   
-that weirdo Fausta is in my 1st per class! -She doesn't have the wings. strange.   
-She doesn't like Bitters. good.   
-she hates Zim. VERY good.   
-She HURT Zim!! very VERY good!!!  
-she hates me too. not good.  
-no one BELIEveS she wants to conquer Earth. very BAD. Those IDIOTS  
-Oh yeah. Bitters says she's a boy. Bwa hahahahaah!!!  
-she looks scared now. what's wrong...  
  
"Mr. Bitterssss!!" the new girl called an a sickly sweet tone.  
  
"What, do you want, you monster?" he snarled in reply.  
  
"MUFFINS!!!" she exclaimed.  
  
Mr. Bitters raised a thin silvery eyebrow, then frowned in contempt. "Get to memorizing your textbook, or face my HORRIBLE DOOMy wrath, Fausta."  
  
"My name is Kil!!" Kil shouted, giddily.  
  
" 'Kill'...?" he questioned, as if she were crazy. And she was.  
  
"Yeth!! ... Oh wait... Um..." Kil shrugged. "But... but... muffins are REALLY yummiful!!" she cried, in a protesting tone.  
  
Mr. Bitters growled animalistically. He threw a nearby, very conveniently placed Geometry book at her face. It hit with a loud 'SMACK'.  
  
Immediately, Kil's mindless mind reverted back to Fausta's psychotic one.  
She took the heavy book, and rubbed her bruised cheek. "Thank you, Sir!!" She then flipped it open and pretended to read, while really trying to plot out ways to gain control of Earth.  
  
Dib sighed quietly and shook his head while taking down more notes. This was going to be a long day...  
  
------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Well, I'm gonna stop here. Please review!! I have lots more planned!! I hope ya like this! I'm gonna try to make the rest funnier!! 


	3. DOOMy Talks and Tests

pureVENOM: Hey, wazzup, peoplez?? Mwa hah. I SHOULD be working on my HORRIBLE History project right now, but I dun wanna!! I wanna type!!  
Well, I'm jes sorta continuing offa the last chapter. Yepperz!! It's still Fausta's first day of Human skool!  
Disclaimer's in the first chapter!! Ooh, my dad ordered some JV books! Yaaaay!!! OMG, I can't wait to see them!!!  
Hey, I may be being pretty mean to Zim, but I still love him best. I usually am extremely nice to my fave characters or extremely evil to them in my fics. It's fun picking on poor, lil', ol' Zimmy!!  
Latin words are roughly translated in parenthesis close by. Hey, I'm not the best, so plz dun kill me if I make some grammmatical errors!!  
REVIEWZ PLZ!!!  
  
---------------  
  
Chapter Two: DOOMy Talks and Tests  
  
---------------  
  
"WHY do you have all the same classes as me and Zim...?" Dib questioned, raising an onyx brow.  
  
"Um... Coincidence??" was Fausta's reply. The Wing Invader was doodling a few monsters of sorts on her notebook and watching the Latin teacher, Ms. Bryte as she explained Latiny stuff on the board.  
  
Zim snorted and shifted his casted arm slightly. Dib rolled his eyes.  
  
"Hey, what's wrong with my answer??" she continued, with false hurt. "Aren't YOU two in the same classes coincidentally???"  
  
"Well, yes-- Hey!! But that's not the point!" Dib exclaimed.  
  
"Whatever." Fausta frowned, then looked at the board shortly with disinterest. "It's not like it's a crime to be in your classes, right??"  
  
"But it IS a crime to being trying to conquer Earth!!" Dib retorted.  
  
"Hah! Mortal fool!" Fausta nearly leapt from her seat. "That's where you're wrong! It says nothing of planetary invasions ANYWHERE in the Human ...law-booky...thingies."  
  
Dib silenced. "Oh yeah. ... Well it SHOULD, then!"  
  
"As if any invader would care..." Fausta scoffed. "Say, we're all soffmores, correct, Human mortal?"  
  
Dib nodded and jotted down some Latin-based notes.  
  
"Then why do you two take Geometry? Should you be in Algebra 2 Trig, or something higher, judging from your knowledge of mathemathics and science?" the Wing Invader pondered. The Human and Irken mortals may be the enemies, but it was nice having at least semi-intelligent people to talk to.  
  
The Human nodded. "Yeah, but somehow, all the Mathy teachers suddenly all disappeared." He shrugged and brushed back his jet-black scythe of hair. "So, everyone's stuck with Mr. Bitters..." Dib shuddered.  
  
Fausta raised an eyebrow. "Interesting..."  
  
There was a sudden negative aura in the room.  
Ms. Bryte was scowling darkly upon Dib and Fausta. Zim snickered to himself, acknowledging their in-trouble-ness.  
  
"Tacete, pueri! O me miseram! Quid sum apud vos facere?" (Be quiet, boys! O poor me! What am I to do with you?) the instructor of dead languages stated sternly.  
  
"Um....." Dib responded meekly, not understanding half of what she'd just said.  
  
"Nescio, Magistra Bryte. Sed... puella sum." (I don't know, teacher Bryte. But... I am a girl.) Fausta responded curtly bowing her head and saluting.  
  
"Minime, Fausta." (No, Fausta.) Bryte pointed at Fausta's incorrect files. "PUER es. Eheu! Fatue." (You are a BOY. Alas! Stupid.)  
  
Fausta scowled, and decided that she'd better get used to being called a boy. What was wrong with these idiotic mortal instructors?  
  
"Hey, is it just me, or do you ALREADY know Latin??" Dib hissed lowly.  
  
Fausta smirked. "All Invaders of the Wings know it..." She turned to her teacher. "Ahem! I hope our thoughtless jabbering didn't bother you, Instructor Bryte?"  
  
Bryte just looked confused, sighed and headed back to the board. "Tacete et audite ad me, tu scelesti servi!" (Be quiet and listen to me, you wicked slaves!) she grumbled, and scribbled some stuff about neuter nouns onto the chalk board while correcting Melvin's poor Latiny grammar.  
  
"And what's with you and Zim, and saluting all the time?" Dib asked quietly.  
  
"Hmph. Weak Human fool," Fausta responded with contempt. "We're brought up in a strict military-based world, unlike YOUR pathetic peoples. Heh. You despicable Humans couldn't fight off a blind, skinned moose that had just been attacked by flying laser weasels."  
  
What is it with skinned moose? And the laser weasels? Dib wondered to himself. He decided not to reply to Fausta's little remark.  
  
"Hm. Ms. Bryte is much ....nicer than Mr. Bitters, huh?" Fausta asked thoughtlessly, stretching her arms. "She hasn't tortured or harmed a single student."  
  
Dib and Zim shrugged as a short scream pierced the air.  
Ms. Bryte's right eye was twitching violently, and Melvin was lying unconscious on the ground, a huge Latin dictionary slowly crushing his head.  
  
"Jinxed it," Dib said as he jotted down some notes.  
  
The bell to fourth period lunch decided then, to ring. It was supposed to have rung twelve minutes ago, but the bell-monitor just now remembered to ring it. Wow.  
  
Everyone except the three rivals fled, screaming, from the classroom. Zim was moving as fast as he could, but wasn't all that fast, since he was pretty beat up.  
Fausta was taking her time packing up.  
Dib was trying to finish up his worksheets. He couldn't afford to blow off any more of this quarter's work, or it might drop. And he knew his dad didn't accept anything lower than an "A-"...  
  
Zim snickered a little at Dib as he left. It was a rather uneventful period for him, and he liked it this way.  
Fausta left soon after the Irken, humming her favorite song, that she had learned from GIR a short while ago, the Doom Song. "Better hurry, mortal! Don't want to miss your lunch, right? Hmph. Miserable Humans. Can't even function properly without their disgusting nutrition. Hey Zim, what do you think..."  
The voices faded away as they walked out of the room.  
  
Ms. Bryte glowered from the front of the cube-shaped classroom. "I, fatue. Tempus est ire." (Go, stupid. It is time to go.) She pointed to the open doorway. It led out to a frigid, swirling darkness. ...Well, it led to the hallway to the cafeteria, anyway.  
  
Dib started writing faster.  
  
...  
  
Dib is seen flying through the classroom roof, screaming. He lands in a tub of semi-dead frog legs, sitting in the center of the cafeteria. Slimy water stuff splashed about.  
  
"WHAT!? Human mortal! You DARE to cut, and then SPLASH me with that ...UGH!... TWITCHING HUMAN-FROG-appendage FILTH!?!?!?"  
Fausta had been next in line to purchase lunch. A shuddering pair of webbed feet sat atop her head, and many others convulsed on the ground, and all around Dib.  
He leapt out of the giant bucket of "food", disgusted.  
  
"You know, you're more like Zim than I expected." The Human frowned and pulled a frog leg from his shoulder and tossed it behind the eye-twitching Wing.  
  
Zim dodged the frog-filth-slime-stuff. "Hey, watch where you're--" He was cut off with a sudden barrage of bologna slices from Dib.  
He immediately spat out some meat, and began screaming and twitching violently.  
"AGH! THE PAIN! THE HORRIBLE PAIN!! HUMAN-FILTH-MEAT!! THE MEATS OF EVIL!!!!" The Irken trashed about on the ground some more.  
  
"Amazing. Irkens are allergic to Human bologna?" Fausta watched with high interest.  
  
"Yes, and I'm wondering if you are too!" Dib replied with an evil tone.  
  
"Hm...?" Fausta looked at her Human rival, and suddenly her malicious brain registered what he was saying. "... Oh, don't you DARE, mortal. I'm not allergic to it, but if you touch me with that filth, I'll tie that stupid scythe of hair of yours around your sight-less nose and hang you from the skool flag like a butchered cow--"  
  
Dib threw five slices of HORRIBLE meats of evil bologna at her face.  
It slid and fell to the ground, with a sickening splat, leaving a slimy trail of EVIL across Fausta's face.  
  
"AGH! THE HORRIBLE STENCH!!" She clutched her face. "DOOMY STINK-MEATS!!!"  
  
"Ahahahaha--!!!" Dib started.  
  
He was shut up with a fistload of the day's special, Fresh Frog Legs, being cramming into his mouth.  
  
"I told you I wasn't allergic to it. I'll have to destroy you extra slowly once Earth is mine and I receive my Wing Invader Credits." Fausta stomped away, food-less, to the least inhabited table. There was only one other person there.  
  
Zim shuddered slightly as he rose to his feet, and accepted a ladle full of dollar-costing Human slop. He headed after Fausta, not wanting to be in a table crowded full of DISGUSTING worm-monkeys. At least there was only ONE Human worm-baby, and one schizoid Wing-beast here.  
  
Dib, coughed out the shivering frog-pieces, and bought a dollar worth of food-filth as well, and headed over to where his sister sat. Which, unfortunately (for everyone) was also where his two enemies sat.  
  
"Gaz! Don't you even CARE that two aliens that want to control Earth are sitting here!?!" Dib cried out, exasperated.  
  
"I'm NOT an alien!!" Fausta reminded indignantly.  
  
"Dib... Be quiet. And move over. You're in my light." Gaz continued to rapidly press the square and triangle buttons on her new GameSlaveMasterIV.  
Those horrible, goat-sucking chupachabra-wannabe, blood-pigs HAD to be DESTROYED!!  
  
Dib looked at the small glass of water, he held in his hand.  
Zim noticed it, but he wasn't worried since he had pasted himself up this morning pretty well. He also figured that it wasn't for him. He smirked maliciously. He wondered how a Wing-beast would take to water.  
  
Dib walked over to a frowning Fausta, and poured it over her head. He hoped he didn't just walk into his own doomy grave.  
  
The Wing just looked extremely shocked and bewildered as the water dripped from her soaked hair. She wiped at her head furiously.  
"WHAT IN THE NAME OF EARTH DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?!?"  
She snatched the glass from the Human and hurled it at him.  
The Human, with his INCREDIBLE speed and agility managed to dodge it and slink back to his little sister.  
  
The glass shattered on some unfortunate student's head nearby. Um... Let's say Spoo.  
"WOW! It's a crystally sign from above!! I am allergic to animals no more!!" he cried.  
  
"Dib..." Gaz started slowly. "Stop playing with your friends near me, and get away..."  
  
Dib inched a bit away from his sister, not wanting to invoke her terrible wrath.  
  
Zim prodded at a pile of grayish, pulpy mass, that the Humans called "mashed potatoes". He'd seen mold growing on his dead flying laser weasels that looked a lot like this.  
The Irken cringed at this thought, then tossed away the contaminated spork of filthy-DOOM.  
  
"Yeah, Dib mortal. Obey your little sister. OBEY HER!" Fausta cried, watching the freshmint girl play the almighty video game.   
  
Gaz scowled, as she felt the unwanted pair of eyes on her GameSlaveMasterIV. "If you make me lose this life, you weirdo, I will make you wish you had never been created."  
  
"Wait. How did YOU know I was CREATED, girl!?" Fausta stood up, surprised.  
  
"Huh? Lucky guess. ...I suppose." Gaz groaned as she received a critical hit.  
  
"Whatever..." Fausta sat back down and watched the Dib-sister play. Her video game filled mind (thanks to Kil's obsessions) seemed to take control.  
"NO! Foolish Human girl!! You take the LEFT! IT'S ALWAYS THE LEFT!!! SEE!?! NOW ULTRA-PIGGULON'S USING HIS INSTANT DEATH MOVE!!! ... .....Aw, you were just lucky."  
  
"Was not! That was pure SKILL!!" Gaz retorted heatedly, pausing the game. NO ONE said stuff about her unmatched gaming skill.  
  
Fausta snorted. "More like pure luck."  
  
"Skill!!"  
  
"Luck."  
  
"SKILL!"  
  
"LUCK!"  
  
Eye twitch. "SKILL!!!!"  
  
"IT WAS LUUUUUCK, MORTAL-FOOL!!! CAN YOU NOT TELL THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SKILL AND LUCK!?!?"  
  
"I CAN, AND IT WAS JUST LUCK!!"  
  
"IT WAS SHEER SKILL, HUMAN GIRL!!! HAVE YOU THE BRAIN-WORMS!?!?"  
  
"Alright." Gaz unpaused and continued playing.  
  
Fausta suddenly realized what had just happened. "ARGH!"  
  
Zim and Dib cackled gleefully, seeing all this.  
A glare from the Wing Invader silenced them.  
  
"Uh... So..." Zim started, hoping to change the subject. "What do you know about brain-worms??"  
  
"Enough. And more than you, Irken," the Wing replied, brushing imaginary dust from the shoulders of her trenchcoat.  
  
"Hah! You wish, Wing-beast!" the Irken began, but then took a closer look at her coat. "What material is that coat made of, flappy schizoid?"  
  
"Blorchen Slaughtering Rat People hide. Isn't it lovely?" Fausta gave an evil smile. "I got it a few years ago."  
  
"Rat people??" Dib thought back to the idiotic rat people at the City Center Mall. "Rat people aren't big enough to make a coat out of."  
  
"That's what they WANT you to THINK!!" Fausta exclaimed.  
  
"What WHO wants me to think...?" Dib questioned, raising a brow.  
  
"Oh wait. Wrong line. Anyway, these rats were pretty big," the Wing corrected herself.  
  
"Too big," the Irken added.  
  
"Oh yeah." Fausta nodded.  
  
"I hear they can grow to ten feet tall."  
  
"I heard twelve, Irken."  
  
".... But they're RATS, right!? C'mon! We're all scientists, here! They couldn't possibly be rats!" Dib continued, unfazed by the two non-Human's conversation.  
  
"They're rats, Dib," Fausta stated in a bothered tone.  
  
"Yes. Giant Blorchen slaughtering rat peoples from BEYOND!!"  
  
"I don't get it! Why are creatures from different galaxies named like Earth creatures!? It's illogical!!" Dib continued. "Giant slaughtering rats from planet Blorch, moose from wormholes, brain-worms, worm-monkeys, worm-babies!!! What's WITH these WORMS!?!?"  
  
Zim and Fausta blinked at each other and exchanged confused and creeped out looks.  
  
"Coincidence?" Zim and Fausta replied synched.  
  
"Everything is coincidence with you two!" Dib shouted, annoyed. "Why can't you two see!? And WHY do you two speak English!? Fausta may be from Earth, but YOU Zim, are an alien!!"  
  
Zim snorted. "And your point is...?"  
  
Dib let out a frustrated sigh. "Never mind. I have tests to run anyway." The Human dug around in one of his pockets and pulled out a very familiar-looking device.  
Zim's left eye twitched slightly, with bad memories. He scooted a few inches away.  
  
Fausta just looked at the circular cuff-like mechanism in Dib's hand with a slight interest. It was shiny.  
"Ooh. Pretty. What is it, mortal? HAND-CUFFS?" she scoffed. "You think that this mere piece of Human-mortal contraption of junky... junk can cuff ME!? An Invader of the Wings??!? HAH!"  
  
"These are designed to render any and all alien life-forms unconscious," Dib informed her.  
  
Fausta shot him a hugely disbelieving look. "HOW MANY TIMES MUST I SAY I'M FROM EARTH!?!?!"  
  
Dib sighed and snapped a circle of the alien sleeve-cuffs around Fausta's left wrist.  
It did nothing.  
  
"Figures, huh?" Fausta questioned, grinning.  
  
"I guess," Dib replied, shrugging.  
  
The alien cuffs suddenly started emitting electric-blue sparks of painful DOOM!  
  
Fausta leapt up, slapping at it with her free hand.  
"Ow! OW! Owowowow!!! OWOWOWOW!!! AHHH!!!!!!! GET IT OFF!! OFFFF~!!!!"  
  
A few eating students turned to look at the screaming girl, then went back to eating their skooly filth.  
  
Dib and Zim were enjoying this. "AHAHAHAHAHA!!!"  
  
Fausta's captive hand suddenly melted away to a dripping black stump, letting the cuff fall of. It then grew back as quickly as it had disappeared.  
She glared very un-happily at Dib.  
  
"Well, it didn't KO you. I guess you aren't an alien." Dib shrugged, with a scared expression.  
  
"You know what, Dib mortal??" Fausta started.  
  
"You're going to stab with sporks like the bolognafied moose I am deep down inside?" Dib asked meekly.  
  
"Hey, wait, I didn't say moos--" Zim was cut off by Fausta.  
  
"No, Human. I was pretty much asking for that. It's really my fault." The Wing Invader shook her head.  
  
"Let me guess. You don't care anyway," Dib stated bluntly.  
  
"Yeah.... But, that's really not the point."  
  
"So what IS the point?? An arsenal of moldy sporks?" Dib questioned.  
  
"Haha, no mortal..." Fausta smoothed back her staticified hair. She picked up the cuffs carefully and slapped them onto Dib's arms. "NOW! FEEL THE DOOMY PAIN!!!"  
  
Dib cringed and waited for the DOOMY PAIN, but nothing happened. Evryone waited some more, but still, nothing happened.  
  
Fausta scolwed darkly. "Oh, now this is just WRONG!! I'M not an alien, but it fries ME! I swear, Earthen-junk contraptions are totally biased!!"  
  
Zim nodded. "I agree. Have you seen the MOVIES? The pathetic Huuumans ALWAYS win!!"  
  
"I KNOW! That's SO stupid!!" Fausta exclaimed.  
  
"How about we start a club, tLAIDCoDDaSLT??" Dib said sarcastically.  
  
"What's that stand for, mortal?" the Wing Invader questioned.  
  
"The Loserly Alien Invader Club of Doomy Doom and... Stuff Like That," the Human replied smugly.  
  
"Hmph! I hope you are not continuing to imply that I am an alien, Human!" Fausta stated indignantly.  
  
"Human-this, Mortal-that, Alien-them. I heard FIVE YEARS of this stuff. Can't we all just get along? Why is there so much HATIN' here, huh!? What's with all the TENSION and ANGER!? Just live together in peace, alright??" Gaz sighed, looking up from her game.  
  
"...Huh??" Dib and Zim.  
Fausta didn't know Gaz's personality and so said nothing and ignored her.  
  
"Um... I mean, well.." Gaz put on her best death-glare. "All your ARGUING is getting on my NERVES... Be quiet," she groaned, annoyed.  
  
The ending bell rang.  
  
Everyone shuffled sadly off to their HORRIBLE fifth period class.  
  
------------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Well, I'm tired of skool being the setting. Next chapter, they're out, and it's the weekend!! Time for some EVIL plotting from Zim and Fausta!! Personally, I like Zim's ideas better. Fausta's just dumb. Hehe.  
Well, how ya like?? Getting boring?? I'm thinking of some dumb invading plans!! Yup yup!!  
REVIEW ME, PLZ!!  
  
The Moral of Today's Story:   
Alien sleeve-cuffs may fry Wing Invaders, but it doesn't mean that all Humans are bolognafied skinned-moose deep down inside! 


	4. The Taco-y Kraziness

pureVENOM: Mwa haha!! My BEAUTIFUL JtHM book, and Squee's Wonderful Big Giant Book of Unspeakable Horrors arrived on February twelfth!! I read them both within two days. Sigh. I want mooore... I want IFS!!  
Heh. I was NOT expecting to like Nny THIS much! He is just plain... ADORABLE!!! ...When he's not cursing or killing/torturing people. And his little speeches are great too! I'm not sure who I like better-- Zim or Nny!! But, I love them both in their own special ways. **squeals high-pitchedly**  
Well, I only got one review so far saying whether the new Wing should be male or female, and that one said girl. ^.^ Thankies, Moo!! (I can call ya that, right??) **is suddenly attacked by moo-cans. Even the one that was replaced with Dib's lung.**  
Sigh, I have to work on this chapter quickly. I'm going to my grandpa's place tomorrow, and they don't have a computer with internet access. OMG, trapped with my MONTROUS (this time, it ISN'T a compliment) family for FOUR days in that boring inferno...  
  
------------------------  
  
Chapter Four (I think... preeetty sure...): The Taco-y Kraziness  
  
-----------------------  
  
*** The House of the Dib-mortal  
  
Dib sighed. Zim and Fausta were up to something! They may not be working together, but they were definitely up to SOMETHING during the last day of the weekend!!  
The paranormal-crazed boy looked up at the large, note-filled calendar nailed against his bedroom wall. The Equinox wasn't for another two whole weeks. Hmph.  
He rubbed some bruises on his arm and side gingerly. The catapult trip back home yesterday was not fun.  
Zim... Fausta... What were each of them up to...? Something evil... Something... NOT-good...  
  
*** At some TV station in the city  
  
The Irken stepped into the TV station boldly, all dressed up in his normal hi-skooler disguise. He dragged GIR by a leash about his green puppy-disguised neck.  
  
A very bored looking guard stood at Zim's side. "Whadda ya want, kiddo..?" He yawned, revealing teeth even yellower than the alien's. The guard then attempted to twirl his big stun-gun, but succeeded only in shocking himself. "Ow."  
A little name taggy-thing was pinned to his chest pocket, stating: 'My name is Jan. If I forget that, remind me, please.'  
  
"I wish to pass by you, filthy TV-slave-Jan!! Do not get in the way of ZIM!" And with that, Zim hurried past the guard.  
  
"Hey, hold up there, greeny." The guard aimed his stunner at the intruder.  
  
Zim scowled. He didn't want to use the support items THIS early. But he didn't want to have to deal with any security-slaves either.  
"SILENCE, slave-beast! Silence, and you shall receive..." the Irken reached into a pocket at the side of his sleeveless black jacket and picked up a taco. "A taco of the Krazy Taco Man!! The taco COMMANDS you!"  
He then tossed the taco aways past the guard, sending the guard to go chasing after it like the obedient dog he was deep down in his taco-loving heart.  
  
"TACOOOO!!!!" GIR and the guard both shouted. The guard, with happiness as he pounced upon his delicious prize, and GIR in pain, as he watched the Human tear into the food item.  
  
"Be QUIET, GIR." Zim dragged GIR a little faster, searching for the certain room. He stopped at one, after a bit of walking. "AHAH!! The mighty Zim has prevailed yet AGAIN!! Ah, my GENIUS amazes even ME!"  
  
GIR closed his eyes happily and gave his master a thumbs up. "Whee!! It a-maze-ez ME TOO, Master!!"  
  
*** Fausta AND Faust's Earthen base. Darn it. I want him to MOVE!  
  
"Yes, that's it. I think I'll go with Operation DARK." Fausta had finally made up her mind. World domination plans weren't something you just hurried along with, you know! Or was it just her..?  
She kicked her legs, that were hanging over the edge of her black and deep green bed, lightly, and flicked the tips of her onyx wings.  
"I wonder how many more Credits I need to become a Jasper Wing," Fausta pondered aloud. The Jasper rank was after Onyx. She stared up from where she lay quietly.  
The fish swimming above her, in the transparent ceiling, were so bright and prettiful. The Wing smiled as a lovely ribbon-like eel of brilliant yellow glided past.  
"Maybe they're hungry now... Computer, it is feeding time for the sea creatures."  
  
Her words were replied with an "Affirmative," and some mechanical noises were heard. A little flood of live brine shrimp and feeder fish were being let loose into the vast watery expanses of the tanks, she knew. Another feeding, another day of non-hunger for her pets.  
  
*** TV station  
  
"Excuse me, young man, but you're not authorized to be--"  
  
"Not AUTHORIZED!?" Zim demanded to the camera-man heatedly. "There is no one oh-so AUTHORIZED as ZIM!!"  
  
The camera-man opened his noise-tube, about to protest.  
  
Zim sighed and brandished a taco. "Good camera-beast. Go get the taco. The taco!!" The Irken tossed it to the far side of the room. The camera-Human went scrambling after it.  
  
GIR whimpered a bit at this. "Mooseys... Reh."  
  
Zim cackled evilly a bit, then proceeded to where THE Krazy Taco Man was working on a new commercial.  
  
"Yeah, so come to the Kraaazy Taco! PLEASE, or my mom will hurt me with the mop again! And, and, my manager will feed me to his salamanders!! OH, DEAR BURRITO!! THE SALAMANDERS!!!" The Taco Man began punching himself in the face very violently.  
  
Tiring of the sickening stupidity of Humans, Zim threw GIR at the Taco Man, knocking him off the stage. GIR, in turn, began chewing on the Krazy Taco Man's costume.  
  
"Mmm!! Your clothes look good, and taste yummy, Mr. Taco-Man!!" GIR complimented through bites of painted styrofoam. "Even better than taquitos!!"  
  
The Taco Man began to laugh maniacally. "Taquitos? TAQUITOS!? DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED WITH THE TAQUITOS!!! Sweet jumping chili bean of jumping, I'm KRAZY!!!"  
  
GIR clapped in glee, chewing on costume bits.  
  
Zim on the other hand... He adjusted his wig, and put on the same malicious grin we've all seen him do so many times, displaying his dull yellow, zipper-like teeth.  
"People of our filthy planet, come forward and buy the tacos of the Krazy Taco, which is now owned by me. ZIM!!!"  
The Irken raised his face and gloved hands, and started cackling, but quickly caught himself. He cleared his throat.  
"Ahem. Excuse me, but uh... the, the STAGE LIGHTS, yes. The stage lights are very tickly! Hm."  
Zim grinned at his sheer genius. WHO ELSE would have thought of something like that??  
"Yes, ah, anyhow." He picked a taco from his pocket yet again. "The tacos command you, Human stink-beasts! Buy, and worship the almighty ZIM as your great and unquestionable RULER!"  
  
*** House of the Dib and Gaz  
  
Gaz groaned as Zim began laughing very loudly again, and pressed the mute button. She glared at her big brother who sat upon the opposite side of the couch.  
"Dib! Can't you sneak over to Zim, where ever he is again, and make him BE QUIET? I want this commercial to END so I can watch the rabid chickens tearing up the moose."  
  
Dib looked up from studying his note-book on Zim and Fausta. "Huh? Zim? Commercial? END? What?" The Human then saw his rival laughing on TV. "WHAT THE--!?!?"  
He fled back to his room to plot out his moves.  
  
Gaz raised a deep violet brow and flicked on her GameSlaveMasterIV. Those mutated Doom Pigs were just BEGGING to face her BaconCrisper-2000 in the last game, with all their mud-flinging.  
  
*** Fausta and Faust's Earthen base  
  
Faust took a sip of his Classic Poop, savoring the bubbly caffieney-ness, watching the wall of an aquarium with his little cousin. They found their pets much more interesting to gaze upon than the Humans' insidious television.  
  
Fausta sipped at her Cheery Poop. Poop was about the only good Human food, and the Wing duo loved it.  
  
"Hey, I thought I saw an Irken teenager spouting some taco-worshipping-garbage on TV this morning, cousin." Faust brushed back his naturally spiky ebony strands of hair. "Is it just me, or something?"  
  
"Hm? Zim. Nah, it's just some wannabe Invader. Don't worry about him." The Onyx Wing pointed at a nearly invisible creature hiding amongst the countless tentacles of a large carpet anemone. "Look, Faust. Another glass shrimp! Isn't it lovely?"  
  
The Platinum Wing scrutinized the area carefully. "Ah! That makes the seventeenth one we've spotted today."  
  
Fausta smiled, quite un-upset. She was feeling rather happy. Spending quality time with her big cousin was nice, but she'd still rather be off killing someone, or conquering something. She took a swig of Cherry Poop, and fluffed up her wings.  
Perhaps she'd start Operation DARK sometime during the skool week.  
  
*** Hi Skool-- Monday morning  
  
Mr. Bitters scowled at Zim as he walked into class. "It seems you've healed well during the weekend, Zim."  
  
Zim faked a happy voice. "Oh yes! And what a magnificent period of healing it was! Such mending of skin and bones! ...It was wonderful." He rushed to take his seat before the instructor could do something about his standing.  
  
Dib glared at the sitting Irken. "Zim."  
  
The alien cocked his head slightly, narrowing his lavender-lensed eyes. "Hm? What is it, Human-worm? I can't believe I'm saying this, but shouldn't you be worrying yourself about the un-presence of the Wing-beast, instead of me??"  
  
Dib glanced at Fausta's empty seat. "I guess, but I still have something to say to you--"  
  
The bell to begin class rang. Very loudly. Everyone covered his or her ears, except for Zim, who didn't have ears, and just ground his teeth together, clenching the sides of his desk, and Mr. Bitters, who didn't seemed to be harmed by anything.  
  
The Onyx Wing, hurried into class, panting a bit. Her wings, were gone, of course, making her seem like a mere Human.  
"Please forgive my tardiness, Sir! There was a bug in the house's computer! Literally. It caused a large probl--"  
  
Mr. Bitters hissed angrily. "Be quiet, boy, or I'll have you hanging by your filthy, long hair from the ceiling fan. I haven't done that to someone in a WHILE."  
  
Fausta ignored the "boy" part, and sulked to her seat, as Bitters began scribbling something onto the board. Her hair wasn't "filthy"... Foolish... non-Human.. creature-guy.  
  
"Why IS that trailing mop of fur you call 'hair' so long, anyway, Wing-beast?" Zim frowned, wondering if there had really been a problem with her computer. "You should keep that filthy thing to a more controllable length. It reaches past your bu--"  
  
"Do you DARE to IMPLY that I cut my beautiful hair??" Fausta demanded, cutting Zim off, her eyes blazing. She liked her long dark brown tresses. The Wing then shrugged. "Not that it would matter if I cut it or not, since I could just make it grow back within seconds. Anyhoo, Irken-mortal, this morning's computer problem has left me quite irritated. Leave me alone."  
  
The Irken stopped his conversation with the Wing, not wanting to get hurt.  
  
"So anyhow, Zim," Dib started again. "I SAW you on that Krazy Taco commercial. I KNOW you're up to something. And I'm GOING to STOP you." His eyes narrowed to dangerous slits behind his gleaming glasses.  
  
"Heh. Yes, poor, sad, little Earth-monkey." Zim grinned.  
  
"Hey! You can't call me little! I'm an inch taller than you!!" the Human retorted.  
  
Fausta rolled her eyes. "Height," she scoffed. "What does it have to do with anything in this world? It doesn't display your intelligence, or show your soul--"  
  
"Oh you're just jealous, that Zim's an inch taller than YOU!" Dib interrupted her.  
  
Fausta growled.  
  
"You guys were talking about the Krazy Taco, right??" The Letter M suddenly asked, making sure that the teacher was busy writing.  
  
"Yes, we were, Human worm-baby," Zim replied unusually cheerfully. "Purchase your disgusting Human FILTH there and worship the TRUE owner of the--"  
  
"Sheesh, it's all about the Sii-co Taquito now!" The Letter M scoffed. "The Krazy Taco is now a thing of the past!"  
  
"WHAAAT!?" Zim leapt to his feet. "What is this 'psyyyycho Taquito'!?!"  
  
"It's a new taco/burrito/taquito/fries fastfood restaurant," Spoo chipped into the conversation. "The Sii-co Taquito ROCKS!!!"  
  
The rest of the class cheered in agreement.  
  
Zim groaned in frustration and began slamming his head upon his desk. Think Career Day.  
  
"Hm? We miss something?" Dib and Fausta questioned their Irken rival's behavior.  
  
----------------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Aww! Poor Zimmy! His evil little plan didn't work!! ^__^ Wow, I haven't done this face in a LONG time!  
Hey, whadda you all think of Fausta, anyway?? She a worthy enough character to read of? I kinda like her. Well, she sorta is me. A really, really mean me.  
Review me, please!!  
  
REVIEWER SELECTION:  
Hey, should the new Wing, who is going to be a girl, thanks to Moo's vote, be named Lilith or Ferona??  
I personally like the name Lilith better, but I think Ferona is a very nice name as well. It sounds sorta like ferocious, ya know?? And she's gonna be a MEAN young lady!!  
  
Moral of this Chapter:  
Psychoness is better than craziness. 


	5. Project DARK... and Stuff

pureVENOM: Well, hopefully this'll work! Usin' a different computer than usual! Ooh! Creepy! The words are SO small!!  
Okay, it seems that Lilith has won! Whew! And what a win! Heh, I feel bad for Ferona. I'll give that name to someone else then. *shrug*  
Well, read and review, my dear readers!!  
Much of this is a lecture on Wings, from Fausta to Dib. He's learning lots today!  
  
--------------------------  
  
Chapter Five: Project DARK... and Stuff  
  
-------------------------  
  
Fausta yawned as she stretched her arms. Being cooped up in Hi Skool all day was annoying and made her joints all stiff.  
She was used to flying about, and training her fighting abilities. Not sitting in hard seats of several doomy classrooms of sheer boredom. ..Well, Weight Training wasn't that bad. The Wing liked that class. Although she DID cheat a bit in it. She always let a bit of muscle grow on her arms and legs in the class, to show off a bit.  
Of course, the fact that she was stronger than almost everyone severely annoyed Zim and Dib, as well as many of the other guys. Fausta grinned. Wing technology was great...  
  
"What are you doing here, Fausta? Planning some EVIL plot to conquer Earth, and kill us?" It was the Dib-mortal.  
The Human went to sit a few feet from the Onyx Wing. They were on the sidewalk in front of her Earthen base.  
It was a lovely two-story house. Black roof, black walls of what looked like wood, but was probably some HORRIBLE alien material from another planet. There were few windows. And the windows that WERE there were small, and tinted.  
  
"Hey, it IS my house, mortal," the Wing replied disdainfully. "I should ask YOU the same thing." She smiled. "You DO remember what happened the last time you were here, right? Or did the catapult ride jar a few of your inferior mortal braincells?"  
  
Dib scowled. "I remember... But as long as I don't step onto your actual property, you have no right to..." The Human shuddered slightly. "...to catapult me again."  
  
"Ah, true," Fausta agreed. "But I also have no right to go about trying to conquer Earth as well, correct?"  
  
Dib shrugged. He sighed. "Why are so many people so interested in controlling EARTH? I mean, there are thousands and thousands of other planets, right?"  
  
"Yes, but this planet is the one that Zim, and I wish to conquer. And besides, most of this galaxy and the neighboring galaxy's planets are under Irken or Wing control," Fausta replied thoughtfully, glancing at the azure sky.  
  
The Human looked horrified. "Zim's race and your race have gotten THAT far already!?"  
  
Fausta looked at him. "Well, yeah... It's actually not THAT much, compared to the size of the universe, if there IS truly a size to it. It's constantly expanding, you know." She sighed. "You don't think it'll really implode in on itself, do you?"  
  
Dib contemplated this. "I don't know... That's what Ms. Bitters kept telling us in Skool..." The boy shivered, remembering all the "good, ol' days". "But why would you care? Your race isn't REALLY immortal, is it? I mean, that's really um... Wow, you know? And if it is, should you have no problem in controlling this planet??"  
  
"Why do I CARE?" Fausta looked surprised. "Mortal, just THINK of the quintillions upon quintillions of lives that will be extinguished at such a horrid future event!! I may be an 'evil' person, but I'm NOT heartless, as many Wings generally are."  
  
"Ah."  
  
"And as for your question, I think you Humans have a different understanding of the word 'immortal'." The Onyx Wing prepared herself for a little speech. "All Wing Invaders are immortal. We cannot die of things like... illness, old age, poison, blood loss, and such stuff. Also, we have complete control over our cells. If one of our arms is shot off, we can tell it to grow back in seconds."  
  
Dib looked intrigued. "Really?"  
  
"Mm hm. But, other things... Like getting your head lopped off. THAT will kill us. A bullet through the gut most probably would kill you mortals, you know, with all your innards and half-digested food spilling into your body..."  
  
Dib looked a bit green at her words.  
She smiled.  
  
"But, such a trivial wound wouldn't even bother a Wing Invader. Isn't my species fascinating?" Fausta tapped her fingers against her Blorchen leather-clad arms.  
  
"Yeah..." Dib was quickly scribbling down notes, which the Wing was not interested in looking at. "...So. Are ALL of your people Invaders?"  
  
The Wing shook her head. "Nope! MOST of us are though, which isn't saying much. Our population is kept low, you know, because of our abilities and stuff. There're only a few thousand of us, and we're keep under careful check. Anyway, about fifteen percent of us are created to be Wing Mercenaries."  
She paused, noticing that Dib was shaking his aching hand, and going to jot down more notes.  
"The Wing Mercenaries are more physically powerful, but not as educated. Basically, they're the working class. Invaders are taught how to use all kinds of machinery, while Mercenaries are trained with explosives and blades. Blah, blah. This is getting boring." Fausta stood up and brushed her pants legs.  
  
The Human leapt to his feet. "Wait! This is really interesting!!" he cried, still finishing up some writing. "Don't stop now!"  
  
"I'm busy, mortal. Maybe another day."  
The Wing stalked away, towards the Center City Park, after setting her back pack upon the front lawn. The computer would bring it into her room later on.  
  
Dib didn't seem to want to leave Fausta alone. "Hey!" he shouted, following after her.  
  
"I wouldn't follow me if I were you, mortal..."  
  
The Human stoped in his tracks to think out that warning. "...Hey! That doesn't make any sense!" He continued to pursue to annoyed Wing. "I know you're just trying to get rid of me 'cause you're off to unleash some horrid plan of yours!!"  
  
Fausta shot him a quick glance. "You know. For once, Human, you're right!"  
  
Dib stopped again and his face fell. He immediately began following her again. "You KNOW I'd never let you do something evil like that!"  
  
The Onyx Wing laughed. "I'd like to see you stop me!!"  
  
Dib shrunk back. He knew he couldn't stop her. He needed help!  
Gaz..? Nah, she wouldn't do anything. ...Except probably hurt him. Dad? No, he'd just ignore him.  
The Human sighed as he realized what his only source of help could be...  
  
*** Zim's Earthen base  
  
Zim's new base was more normal than before. Dib pouted. He deserved some thanks from the alien! If he hadn't blown uo the plae, Zim never would have made a newer, more normal one like this.  
The house was still a luminescent green and violet, but the windows and walls were more Human. Also, the lawn gnomes were now replaced by artificial plants. With long tentacles. They proved to be much harder to evade than the clumsy elven creatures. The 'I heart Earth' sign was replaced with the country's flag, and the puffer-fish and flamingo ornaments were gone.  
  
The Human took a deep breath and headed for the door.  
The entrance, which did no longer had is comical bathroom sign, swung open.  
  
"HIIIII!!"  
  
Dib cringed at the shrill voice. He looked at GIR, who was wearing his dog suit and smiling warmly. Well, as warm as a ROBOT could get anyway. "Hi, GIR."  
  
The lil' robot slid out of his disguise, remembering that he didn't need the suit around the Dib-monkey. "You wanna see Master?? He's in his lab!! Follow me!"  
  
As Dib stepped inside, everything began to flash a deep red, and a rather quiet alarm went off.  
  
"INTRUDER ALERT," kept repeating over and over again in the background, as Dib stood nervously by the happy, tuna-slurping GIR.  
In a moment, the alarm was off, and a familiar Irken elevated into he room.  
  
"WHAT do you want, stink-beast?" Zim scowled. "Trying to explode my house again?" The Irken crossed his gloved arms and narrowed his ruby eyes, as his antennae flattened against his head in contempt.  
  
"That Wing-girl! She's up to something bad! Someting to conquer Earth! She's gone to the city park, but I can't stop her alone, Zim!" Dib cried. "Help me stop her with all your... alien technology... stuff!"  
  
The Irken faked a laugh. "Ah, the Wing-beast. Hmph! Some defender of Earth you are, Diiiib-stink. She's harmless! What could some INFERIOR, non-Human, filth-creature like HER do with a trained Irken military elite around?"  
  
The Human frowned in protest. "SHE's a trained military elite too, you know! And you don't know if her plans are any good yet, since this is her first attempt at controlling Earth!"  
  
"Leave my base NOW, Human-worm-beast." Zim turned on his heel and headed toward the kitchen. "Computer, remove this filth."  
  
Dib was promptly thrown out of the alien's house, by a small arsenal of metallic, clawed wires.  
The Human shook a gloved fist at the glowing building. "Yeah!? Well, when that Wing-person takes over Earth, don't blame meee!! Will ANYONE know how hard I tried to stop you and Fausta!? Huh? HUH!?"  
  
There was a loud "BE QUIET!" from the house, and the Human was hit in the head with a rock-hard waffle. He heard a whiny, "Aww... My waffle!" and rubbed his forehead.  
Dib sat up, and hurried back to the Center City Park. He had to do SOMETHING!  
  
*** Back in Zim's base  
  
Zim rubbed his gloved claws together nervously. "Did you hear that, GIR?"  
  
GIR looked up from his empty cupcake wrapper. "Huh? Hear what? I can only hear the voices in my head!"  
  
The Irken narrowed a single crimson eye, and decided to ignore that strange new remark. "The Dib-Human! He says the flappy-Wing-beast is unfurling some insidious plan! This miserable planet is property of ZIM!! Not the Wing-beast's! ZIIIM!!!"  
  
"Uh huuhhh...." GIR nodded as if he understood and went back to sniffling over his eaten cupcake.  
  
"Urgh." Zim shook his head. At least GIR was nice company at times. "Come on, GIR! We're taking the Voot Cruiser for a ride." He motioned his his hand, and his SIR came hurrying after his master.  
  
*** Center City Park-- deep within the parky trees  
  
There was a small clearing towards the center of the park, hidden in the dense amount of trees. It was still reall bright out. It was the afternoon, after all, but the many trees, blocked out most of the light. So it was really creepy and shadowy.  
  
Fausta flapped tiresomely over a large, metallic machine of some sort. It had large, metal tubes, like the ones in the sides of Zim's house, and was making some loud machiney noises.  
"Phew! This piece of Irken junk had better work!" the Wing complained, irritated by so much maintainance flying.  
  
"I'll make sure it never works!!"  
Dib came rushing up, panting heavily. He wiped at his head. "Just... gimme a few minutes... to rest..."  
  
The Onyx Wing raised a sepia brow and ignored the Human. "It seems to be okay... Hm! I guess I'll start it up then!"  
Fausta perched atop a large beam, and typed something quickly into a small panel.  
  
The massive machine hummed to new life, and the huge wires plunged themselves deep into the ground. They sparked and crackled a bit, and little veins of blue electricity ran along the metals.  
  
"Nooo!!" Dib cried, and then began panting again.  
  
"Hmph. This is TOO easy." Fausta flicked her wings in annoyance. "Where's Zim? Isn't he going to try to stop my masterful plan, and heroically save this sad world for his own selfish dreams?"  
  
The exhausted Human frowned. "I TRIED to get him, but he wouldn't--"  
  
Dib was cut off with some loud explosions.  
Fausta whirled round, to see Zim, grinning maliciously in his Voot Cruiser, and GIR smiling, waving happily to her.  
The Irken had shot at the ground as an introduction to his arrival, and two smoking craters sat near the Wing's machine of doom.  
  
"This sad ball of FILTH is MINE, schizoid Wing-beast. Surrender now and save yourself a painful DOOM by Zim." The Irken narrowed his ruby eyes dangerously.  
  
GIR then hugged his master's head tightly. "HI, KIL!! What's that big machiney-thingy?? Does it make waffles!?"  
  
Fausta smiled as Zim began sputtering and squirming in vain under his SIR's vise-like embrace. The Voot Cruiser did a small loop-da-loop and crashed into the ground.  
  
Zim came out, coughing at the smog coming from his grounded vehicle. "GIR!! Look what you've done!"  
  
Dib would've laughed if the fate of Humanity didn't rely on Zim and his Irken technology.  
  
GIR began spitting out the dirt in his mouth. "Ooh!! Dirt!" The SIR then swallowed the rest. "Mm! Yummy! Tastes like taquitos!"  
  
The Human watching all this just sighed. "So, if we're all doomed anyway, if you don't mind telling us, what does your machine do--"  
  
Zim looked outraged. "This is an IRKEN device!!"  
  
Fausta looked at him, uninterested. "Yeah? So? What do you care? Your despicable people lied to you and left you to rot on this horrible planet. Why does it matter if I steal some inferior Irken machines from some random ship of your people's?"  
  
The Irken looked shocked. "How do you know about all that!?"  
  
The Wing smiled. "Well... Remember Professor Terret??"  
  
Zim didn't like this.  
Professor Terret had been the strange scientist who was against leading the autopsy on him, when he'd been taken to some filthy science facility by Dib.  
"Yes. I remember the Human-stink-beast. What OF her?"  
  
Fausta looked offended. " 'HUMAN-STINK-BEAST', ZIM?? That 'Human-stink-beast' was ME! Can't you see the resemblence!?" The Wing fluffed her feathers, bothered, and crosed her arms.  
  
"Hey, hey, wait!!!" Dib shouted. "If you're Fausta, AND you're also Terret, just how old ARE you, and what do you REALLY look like!?"  
  
The Onyx Wing looked at Dib as if he were an idiot. Which he WAS. "THIS is my true form," she replied calmly, flicking her wings. "And I'm the same age as you and Zim. ANYWAY... We're getting REALLY off topic, don't you two agree??"  
  
Zim and Dib exchanged glances and nodded.  
  
"Mm hm. So, anyway. This machine IS Irken. I'm only using their HIGHLY..." Fausta watched Zim who seemed to swell up in pride. "...INFERIOR technology..."  
  
Zim's mouth dropped open. The WINGS, THOSE flappy BEASTS, had better technology than IRKENS!? NEVER!  
  
"Because of its PARASITIC qualities." The Wing gestured to one of its large wires implanted in the ground. "It absorbs the electricity from the surround area, to store for its master's... or mistress's will."  
  
"Oh... I see. It kinda looks like those things coming out from the sides of Zim's house," Dib pondered aloud.  
  
"Correct, mortal! It has the same basic principal as those tubes!" Fausta nodded. "You see, I'm planning to absorb the power from this miserable city first. Then, the country, the continent, and finally, the WORLD! With no electricity, your PATHETIC people's so-called societies will CRUMBLE, leaving the world to ME!" The Onyx Wing smirked.  
  
Dib looked up, and saw a park lamp flicker out. "So, what's the plan, Zim??"  
  
The Irken looked around nervously. "HOW SHOULD I KNOW!?" He glared at his dirt-eating SIR. "GIR! DO something!!"  
  
"Okay! I'll do the monkey dance!" the little robot chirped happily. He then began moving his feet around in what he called 'the monkey dance.'  
  
Fausta watched with little amusement, but then held her head, as if in pain. "No! It's KIL again!!" She shuddered as Kil's happy little mindless mind took over.  
  
Dib and Zim brightened up. This just might be thier chance to save Earth!  
  
"Hiiiiiiya, ya three guys!!" Kil piped, flapping around. "GIR! Let's run around them!!"  
  
"Okay!!"  
  
And so, Kil and GIR began running around the two male rivals, as they watched on helplessly.  
  
"GIR! Stop immediately! I COMMAND you to STOP!!" Zim shrieked, as the SIR went slightly off-course and nearly ran him over.  
  
"It's no use!" Dib cried in defeat. "Even AS that IDIOT, Fausta's plan will go on! We can't reach it with them running around us like this!" And as if to demonstrate, he tried to hurry out of the circle, and promptly was trampled by the crazy idiots. "Ow..."  
  
Fausta then seemed to snap out of her stupid other self.  
"Alright! I'm back! I'm OKAY!!" She hurried to check the machine. It was functioning properly. "Hm! Within hours, the entire city will be POWERLESS!"  
  
Zim and Dib watched in despair.  
  
Suddenly...  
  
"Hey, what's that!?" Dib pointed at a bright, firey streak in the sky.  
  
Zim looked up at where the Human was pointing. "I... I'm not sure, stink-beast..."  
  
"Hm??" Fausta glared up at the sky to see what the two were babbling about. "That's... a WING vehicle!!"  
  
GIR looked at the bright thing hurtling down towards them with sheer glee.  
  
He was even still smiling when the ship crashed into Fausta's energy-sucking machine of doom, resulting in a large, and painful explosion, that hit everyone around it...  
  
----------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Well, I've ben writing for a very long time, and I think I should stop now.  
Interesting, no?? I like this chapter, actually. I like the ending of it, where the ship is crashing. Mwa hah! Guess who's in the ship, huh?? Pretty obvious... 


	6. Fight of DOOM!

pureVENOM: Oh no!! I forgot to put the 'Moral of the Chpater' on the last one!! I also forgot to use the spell checker!! Darn!! Well, I'm not gonna edit it. I hope I didn't make too many mistakes..  
And now, our long awaited Lilith arrives! Let's see some DOOM!!  
  
Um.. I'm gonna put the Lesson of the Previous Chapter here: Don't leave large, important machinery in the middle of your city's park. Somthing WILL crash into it.  
  
--------------  
  
Chapter Six: Fight of DOOM!  
  
--------------  
  
"Ohhh..." Dib rubbed his head, and bringing his hand away, he saw a glistening on his dark glove. Blood. He sat up, achingly, and saw Zim, knelt down, breathing heavily in pain.  
GIR sat, covered in ash and dirt, with a confused look.  
Fausta, she watched the Wingen ship. She looked dead-tired, but unscathed. She had probably used her abilities to heal while he was knocked out.  
Dib looked down upon himself, and saw that the hem of his good trenchcoat was singed. Sheesh! This coat was super-expensive, too!! Someone was gonna PAY!  
  
Fausta's dreay eyes widened as the smoke and dust cleared enough to see the bold, black insignia engraved upon the side of the ship.  
A sword-- with long, thin wings on either side of the blade. The sign of a Wing Mercenary.  
But... What was a Wing Mercenary doing HERE?  
The Onyx Wing narrowed her dark eyes. She hadn't hired one, and FAUST sured hadn't hired one... Right...?  
The Wing Invader stepped cautiously up to the downed vehicle, wary of the little sparks and flames popping up from it.  
  
Zim didn't step forward. He stay where he knelt, watching carefully. Something wasn't right, but at least the ship had totalled Fausta's machine.  
  
Fausta placed a hand upon the warm glassy windshield. It was cracked badly, but tinted, so that you could not see inside, but she knew that if the driver of this vehicle was a Wing, he or she would be alive. Unconscious, maybe, but alive.  
  
"ARRGHH!!!"  
  
Everyone jumped up at the furious cry, as a dark figure burst through the glass, throwing glistening crystalinne shards in every direction.  
The figure collapsed heavily, facedown upon the grassy park ground, making a loud 'thump' sound.  
  
Fausta scowled. THIS was the person responsible for the failure of her wonderful plan!  
A young woman. Low twenties... Mercenaries weren't treated to be immortal, like Invaders were. She had nearly shoulder-length, golden hair, ruffled from the hard trip. She had two, long wings, with a sparse amount of metal-like feathers growing from them.  
She wore the Wing Mercenary uniform-- Black gloves. Black boots. A long-sleeved, pale greyish-blue blouse, underneath a thick blue-green covering of armor that wrapped round her shoulders. Long, deep-grey pants, reaching almost past the ankles, underneath a used-to-be white piece of palla-like fabric fastened around her waist with a black leather belt.  
Blossoms of blood were splattered about her clothing, and she didn't move much.  
  
"Wing Mercenary!" Fausta growled. "What's wrong, Wing!? Age!" (Pronounced 'ah-gey'. it means 'come on!')  
  
"Who is this WING MERCENARY, schizoid?" Zim questioned, changing his gaze from one Wing to the other. "Hire this money-driven filth-beast to deal with us?"  
  
"Of course NOT!" the Onyx Wing cried. "I told you both before, I'd destroy you two myself! And oh, how WONDERFUL that day will be Irken!!"  
  
The woman on the ground stirred slightly. She groaned, and pushed herself to her elbows and knees with much effort.  
A gleaming medallion swung fron her neck on a thick golden chain. The letters, "STL" were carved into it in blocky writing. There were other, smaller pendants on the chain. One saying "BRZ", and another, "IRN".  
Apparently, she had passed the ranks of "Bronze" and "Iron", and was currently on the "Steel Wings" ranking.  
She looked up at the Onyx Wing.  
"Nihil est. Are you Onyx Wing Invader Fausta?" the mercenary asked through clenched teeth. (Nihil est-- It is nothing.)  
  
Fausta nodded. "Yeah, yeah, that's me. Who're you, and what're you doing HERE??"  
  
There was a cough. "I'm Mercenary of the Steel Wings, Lilith. I've been sent here to destroy you and several other certain Wings."  
  
The Wing Invader was taken aback. She stepped away with a surprised look, and Lilith leapt up, a dagger suddenly in her left hand.  
  
"AHHHHhHHHhhHHhHH!!!"  
Fausta was running about, screaming her lungs out, as Lilith chased her, blade leveled.  
  
Dib and Zim just stared. This was a strange sight.  
  
"Ooohh!! Hehehehe!! That looks like FUN!!" GIR began to chase Lilith around.  
  
Soon, the mercenary stopped, growing weary of the fruitless chase. She reached into a pocket in her armor, and pulled out three small, red, cherry-like items.  
  
Fausta saw this. "DIB! ZIM! GIR! RUN!!" She speeded up slightly, if that was even possible.  
  
"Huh..? Wh...?" Dib stammered.  
  
Zim snorted. "What, am I supposed to FEAR those FILTHY, Earthen, CHERRY-fruits Liiilith has in her inferior grasp??"  
  
"IRKEN! You have NO IDEA! JUST RUN!! Those're cherry-BOMBS!!"  
  
Dib smacked his Irken rival upside the head. "Just listen to the Invader, for once!!" the Human cried in panic as he fled as fast as his mortal legs would take him.  
  
"Ergh! Stinking HUUUMAN!! Zim shall RUN when he FEELS SO!" Zim shouted angrily as his spider-legs emerged from his support pod and hurried him away, following suit.  
  
A trio of medium explosions carried the three runners off their feet, and into some bushes, unseen by Lilith, thanks to all the dust and dirt flying around from the cherry-bombs.  
  
Choking through ash, dirt, and other airborne stuff, Fausta glared at her two rivals. "You two have to HELP me!!"  
  
Dib raised a dark brow. "Why would I do something like THAT!? With YOU gone, the Earth will be over twice as safe! ...I think!"  
  
"Still, let us three work together for now, and think of a proper escape!" Zim hissed to the Human. "It's the logical thing to do!"  
  
"Yeah!" the Onyx Wing agreed.  
  
"I think the LOGICAL thing to do would be to run away with OUR lives, and let Fausta deal with that crazy lady!!" Dib retorted.  
  
Zim thought about this. "Well... That could work too..."  
  
"Hey, hey!! No WAY!!" Fausta shrieked. "I'm SO not getting blown or sliced up today!!"  
  
"But... What if the Wing-beast follows us around, causing us to be in as much danger as she herself...?" the Irken pondered.  
  
"ZIM! You idiot! Don't give her any ideas!!" Dib cried.  
  
"Too late!!" the Onyx Wing cried triumphantly. "Now you two HAVE to help me!!"  
  
Zim growled disgustedly, then stopped suddenly. "Where's GIR!?!? GIR!! GIIIRRR!!!" The Irken leapt out of the shrubbery, almost getting decapitated in the process. "AGH!! MADNESS!!!"  
  
"Zim!?" Fausta cried, and then decided against jumping out. She held up her wings like a shield, and rolled into the open.  
  
Lilith spotted her target, and readied her blade again.  
  
"Excuse me, pretty, explody-lady!" It was GIR. He looked up at the Wing Mercenary with large, cyan eyes. "Are you trying to hurt Kil??"  
  
Wings were created to never lie. "No," she replied, stopping at the SIR's pure innocence. "I'm trying to destroy her."  
  
GIR blinked. "Oh. Destroying?? I like destroying!!" He smiled and kicked at a clod of upturned dirt to prove his fondness for destroying.  
  
Lilith managed a thin smile. The strange little robot... So.. sweet. He'd called her 'pretty'. "I'm sure you do..." she said quietly, extended her deadly wings to its full span.  
  
"GIR! Get away from the Mercenary-beast!!" Zim hissed frantically.  
  
"Awww..." GIR whined and headed back to his master.  
  
Lilith and Fausta locked eyes.  
  
The Invader drew a long dagger from the sleeve of her coat. "H-hey. Leave me alone, al-all right??" She brandished the longer blade.  
The mercenary glanced at her frightened victim indifferently and started for her.  
  
GIR was intrigued. "Ooh!! SHINY! Shiny knives!!" He put on a thinking expression. "Waiit... Knives hurrrtt!! Stop, Lil, stoooop!!" He latched himself around the blonde's left ankle.  
  
"GIR! That flappy-stink-monkey will hurt you! Come BACK!" Zim called from behind a patch of tall weeds.  
  
"Zim! Shut-up!!" Dib growled beside the Irken. "You'll make her angry!"  
  
The SIR was now crying. Bawling very loudly.  
Fausta watched in astonishment. GIR really cared about her... She was touched. Even though he was a defective little robot.  
  
Lilith was becoming irritated by the strange little robot. "Shh... Let me go, ...'GIR'..."  
  
The SIR shook his head and held on even tighter, cutting off blood circulation to the Wing Mercenary's foot.  
  
Lilith just sighed, and reached for a grey, egg-shaped item in her pocket. She pulled the pin to the thing with her teeth, and spat it away.  
  
"That's NOT what I think it is, is it??" Dib asked to no one in particular, eyes wide open.  
  
"Shut-up and run," Zim stated, sprinting off.  
  
The grenade was thrown at Fausta, who lashed out with a wing, flinging it at the feet of the running Zim.  
  
"AHHHhHHhHHh!!!!" The Irken picked it up with a spider-leg and tossed it as hard as he could.  
  
Everyone watched the deadly weapon soar into the sky; it grew smaller and smaller, until they couldn't see it anymore. It didn't explode.  
  
"I guess it was... a dud," Dib murmured.  
  
Suddenly, there was a massive explosion, and a blackish mushroom cloud, far off in the distance. Debris was flying everywhere.  
A fire hydrant landed by GIR.  
  
"Ooh! A big, red thingy!!" GIR cried and examined the metal object.  
  
"Um... Mercenary Lilith of the Steel Wings..." Fausta started, in a small voice. "H-how... about, we call it a day, huh??"  
  
The Wing Mercenary narrowed her golden-pulpiled eyes. Where the whites of a Human's eyes would be, there was a swirling black. "Fine. See you later, then."  
Lilith was exhausted in mind, body, and supplies. After she refreshed herself, she'd continue her job. She fled and disappeared into the darkness of the trees.  
  
"Whew!!" The rival trio breathed a deep sigh of common reliefs and collapsed where they stood.  
  
"You know, Irken-mortal. You're throwing is better than I ever expected," Fausta commented gratefully.  
  
Dib nodded in agreement and approval.  
  
Zim flushed. "Well..." He suddenly steeled himself. "Of course! All Irkens have surprisingly GREAT... throwing-...skills!! HaHAH!!!" he cried with in his usual arrogance.  
  
"Heh..." Fausta patted the alien's head. "Good Irken.."  
  
Zim growled, baring his zipper-like teeth. "Whatever, Wing-schizoid." He signaled to GIR. "GIR! Start up your jets and take me back to base! I need to get the Voot Carrier!"  
  
The robot and Irken sped off into the tree-filled distance.  
  
"Well, I guess I'm off." Dib dusted the dirt from his jet-colored hair and headed away.  
  
Fausta stood up, and went to leave as well.  
  
*** Finally, back at the street of Fausta and Faust's Earthen base  
  
The Onyx Wing trodded down the sidewalk, tiredly. She tilted her head to the side to glance at a new sight.  
About half of a ruined, wooden shack of a house was plopped in the middle of the street. It must've flown over here from that mercenary's grenade, like the fire hydrant in the park did.  
A very surprised looking, tall, skiNNY man with spiky ebony hair sat by the mess, holding his knees with his thin arms.  
A doll-looking item holding a burger was placed near him.  
  
Fausta headed over to the man. It WAS sorta her fault he was out here with half a house.  
"Excuse me, sir..." she started.  
  
"Yes...?" he replied, seemingly distractedly.  
  
"Well, I'm afraid I had something to do with the um... accidental destruction of your house..." the Wing continued. A little metal plate suddenly fell at her feet, with a loud clatter. It read "777".  
  
"Really..." he said slowly, with an apathetic tone.  
  
"Hey, look, um... Mr...."  
  
"My name is Johnny. You can call me Nny for short." He brushed at some bits of plaster on his arms, calmly.  
  
"Alright. Nny. I can get you a new house." Fausta dug into a pocket of her coat and pulled out those house-in-a-cylinder-thingies, and handed it to him.  
  
Nny glanced at the object with a raised brow.  
  
"Well, you draw the house of your dreams with the attatched pen there, and put it into the ground, pointy-side first!" the Wing Invader explained.  
  
"Uh huh." He sounded as if he didn't believe her. Well, it WAS a pretty far-fetched story. But he was drawing something onto the mechanism. After a few minutes, he seemed to be satisfied, and placed it upon the ground.  
  
"Um, Nny. You MIGHT wanna get a bit far away from it," Fausta cationed, backing off, as the ground began quaking.  
  
He understood, and walked aways away briskly, carrying the burger-doll.  
  
The two watched the object as it burrowed deep into the earth, and wires and tubes of all sorts began to shape themselves into the shape of the to-be house, surrounding the bit of his old home. Lasers appeared from the outer wires and solidified, forming the walls and such. Tall, dark gates erupted from the concrete street, coming quite close to Nny and the Wing girl.  
A few false, bare trees rose from the ground as well, as decoration, or defense. Fausta wasn't sure.  
In the end, the new house, in the middle of the street, was one story like his old one, but of deep grey stone brick, and such. The gates and trees gave the place an eerie feeling. Rather small, Fausta noted. Perhaps it was mostly composed of underground levels like her own home. She hoped if that was so, his subterranean chambers didn't interfere with here base's.  
  
"Ah. Very nice, Nny," she complimented.  
  
Johnny admired his work come to life. "Thank yo--"  
  
He was cut off by a haunting, "You love it. You cannot resist Ice Suckies. Your existence is meaningless with out Ice Suckies..." Blah, blah. You know the ice cream/Ice Sucky track.  
  
"Hm." Fausta was in high spirits, having escaped death and all. "You want an Ice Sucky? On me. New House Foody Stuffs, ya know??"  
  
Nny seemed to brighten a bit more. "Do they have Cherry?"  
  
"They should." She walked over to the Ice Sucky van, and returned with two Cherry Ice Suckies, two Chocolate Bubblegums, and two of a new flavor-- Pizza Toffee. "Here." She handed a Cherry to him, smiling.  
She kept a Cherry for herself as well. The two Pizza Toffees were for Dib and Gaz. Gaz would probably drink hers, while Dib would either throw away or study his. She knew GIR liked Chocolate Bubblegum, and she got one for Zim just for the spite of it, knowing he despised Earthen foods.  
  
"Thanks." Nny sucked at the Cherry Ice Sucky and headed cheerfully to his new home. The massive gates opened up for him automatically, and closed as he stepped through them.  
  
"Hm." She headed down the street, to Zim's place, sucking at her Cherry.  
  
---------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Yay! A happiful ending!! Mm! Cherry Ice SUckies!! Chocolate Bubblegum sounds pretty good too! I have a HUGE sweet tooth! ...I dunno about Pizza Toffee, though... o.O;;  
Review me, please!! So, how's Lil??  
  
The Lesson of Today's Chapter: ALWAYS get CHERRY Ice Suckies for criminally insane guys. 


	7. Not Much Doom

pureVENOM: Darn! I forgot to use spell check AGAIN!! Aw man, I hope I didn't make many mistakes!! Argh!!  
Well, read and review, huh peoples??  
Hm! I jes had to say this. ^__^ In the beginning of JtHM, Nny kinda says my name when he's talking bout Squee's bear!! **sigh** Too bad he used it in such a negative way. I don't want Nny to not like the words, "pure venom"!! Wahhh!!!  
Anyway, I sorta wrote this long conversation between Lil (Lilith's nickname, if you haven't realized) and Nny.  
Hm. I better tell ya, there's a large JtHM spoiler in their talk. If you don't want to see it, just stop reading, after Lil sees Nny. ...Although... I like their conversation. **shrug** Oh well!  
  
--------------------  
  
Chapter Seven: Not Much Doom  
  
--------------------  
  
*** Zim's Earth base  
  
Zim watched as GIR continued to suck at his thick Chocolate Bubblegum Ice Sucky in vain. "GIR... Could you please STOP that infernal sucking, or do it somewhere else...? That Wing-beast... Giving him that HORRIBLE Earthen drink."  
  
"Aw, Master! You've never even tried it before!!" the SIR responded in his usual high-pitched voice. "It's GOOD! Even the nice, new, neighbor-man likes Ice Suckies!!"  
  
Zim stopped at the mention of this 'nice, new, neighbor-man'. "What? Since when have we had a new NEIGHBOR??"  
  
"Well, he lives all the way up the street, in a scary house! He has a scary doll that talks! Ooh! And his name is Nny!!"  
  
Zim just gave GIR a look. "Alright... I'm going to check up on this... 'nice, new, neighbor-man'... Our other recent neighbor has proven time and time again to be quite a nuisance. I hope this one isn't the same..." The Irken went to fetch his disguise.  
  
*** Faust and Fausta's Earthen base  
  
It was after Hi Skool, Tuesday, and Faust was watching the fish tank again, slurping down a Classic Poop, noisily.  
"Fausta. Why is there a brand new house right in front of our base?" he asked suddenly.  
  
The Onyx Wing looked aside to her big cousin. "Oh. I didn't explain the yesterday's after skool events to you?"  
  
"No." Another sip.  
  
"Ah. I wonder why..."  
  
"Well, are you gonna tell me, or what?" He followed a blue-ringed octopus with his eyes. Highly venomous creatures. And such lovely blue rings. Earth's creatures were the most extraordinary of all the planets he'd ever been to. But he'd never admit it.  
  
"Yeah, sure, why not?" Fausta replied nonchalantly. "I was doing great in my world domination plan. I was UNSTOPPABLE!!"  
  
"Uh huh. And then somebody stopped you," Faust continued indifferently.  
  
The Onyx Wing scowled. "Yes, well... That's not the point! A Wing MERCENARCY stopped me!! She's at second rank! A STEEL WING! The mechanism I was using probably sent out too many magnetic waves or SOMETHING, and SHE crash landed in my machine, and... exploded it!!"  
  
Faust gave his cousin a look. "Did you say... a Wing MERCENARY??"  
  
"Yeah, I did," she replied heatedly. Today was NOT the best skool day she had ever had.  
Bitters had gotten angry at her, Dib, and Zim's arguing about their near-fatal adventure yesterday. "And she's gonna try to kill me again sometime soon."  
  
Faust's eyes widened. "Hm..."  
  
"You don't care."  
  
"It's not THAT, cousin." He punched her in the arm playfully, which meant he used all his strength.  
  
Fausta grimaced and rubbed her agonized biceps. The broken bone beneath was already beginning to mend. "Lemme guess. More Credits for me, if I can deal with Steel Mercenary Lilith."  
  
"Yup. And meanwhile, I'm going to get to the bottom this this little... 'Mercenary' problem." Faust took a long swig, crumpled the aluminum can, and tossed it to the carpetted ground, where a robotic arm disposed of it. The Platinum Wing popped open a new can.  
  
Fausta sighed. "Really? You'd do that for me??"  
  
"Sure. What're overseers for??" A sarcastic tone.  
  
"Hmph." She'd have to do all the research herself. "You're a terrible cousin, Faust."  
  
"The feeling's mutual."  
  
"Whatever..." Fausta hopped off the couch, flaring her dark wings to land more lightly. She hopped onto the fountain elevator and took it to the level to her chambers.  
  
Reaching her room, she flung herself to her electronics.  
"Computer, complete the rest of my English2, Latin2, U.S. History, Geometry, and Biology assignments."  
  
"Processing," a mechanical voice replied immediately, a robot arm taking her back pack and binder.  
  
"Computer, do a search on this... Lilith, Mercenary of the Steel Wings." Fausta narrowed her eyes angrily at the name.  
  
"Processing... Processing complete," it added a quick moment later.  
  
A picture of Lilith appeared upon the screen before the Onyx Wing. She scanned the information on the woman quickly. "Currently age twenty three... Defeated Irken soldiers... Rat people... Executed many Lead Wings... blah, blah... But why is she HERE...? Computer, why is the Steel Wing here on Earth?"  
  
"Processing."  
  
A new screen popped up, reading "PERMISSION OF A PLATINUM WING IS NECESSARY TO VIEW THIS INFORMATION", with the Wing Invader insignia shining in the bachground.  
  
Fausta sighed. Her cousin would never do such a nice thing for her. Well, she could always ASK Lilith herself. She MIGHT answer...  
  
"Incoming transmission from the Intergalactic Irken Trade Ship," the computer warned.  
  
"Hm? Responding." Fausta looked to the left computer.  
  
A different Irken trader was on screen. She blinked red eyes, an flicked her antennae in sheer annoyance. "The trade ship headed to Earth with your supplies has been reported as destroyed. We received the news a half an hour ago, but it seems the ship was attacked and destroyed yesterday by an unknown Wing Mercenary ship at approximately 4:30 in your Earthen time. Would you like to repurchase?"  
  
Fausta's eye twitched. "Wing Mercenary..." She looked back to the Irken. "No, no. I would not like to repurc... Actually, send me one or your finest SIR units."  
  
"Huh. You have a rapid-fire particle-fusion blaster-cannon? We need more of those." The Irken trader glanced to the side and typed something.  
  
"Yeah. Plenty of those. One for a SIR?"  
  
"It's a deal."  
  
"Alright."  
  
"It should arrive in about two Earth days."  
  
"Fine with me," Fausta replied, shrugging.  
  
*** The Dib-house  
  
"Gaz!! I STILL CAN'T believe you ACTUALLY drank it!!" Dib complained again.  
  
"Dib, that was YESTERDAY. Can't you just FORGET about that??" Gaz growled in a low voice.  
  
"Ah, I just feel like reflecting today. So, ...no!" he replied. "And it SMELLED TERRIBLE!"  
  
Gaz 'hmph'ed. "It was good. Just the way you'd expected Pizza Toffee to taste like." She tried to hide her grin as her brother made little sicky noises.  
A little explosion sound came from her GameSlaveMasterIV as she defeated UltraPiggulon the Third.  
  
Dib shuddered at the little sound effects. They brought back too many bad memories... He wouldn't never think of Cherry-bombs the same way again.  
  
*** Nny's place  
  
Zim used his innate Irken climbing abilities to climb over the new one's house gates.  
As he landed gracefully upon the deathly ground, a small quaking happened, and the leaf-bare trees seemed to move ever so slightly.  
As much as the Irken hated to think it, he was nervous. "GIR?"  
  
"Yes, Master??" The little robot was right behind him.  
  
"Ne..nevermind..." Zim started forward, slowly.  
  
"Aw! Are you scared, Master!?" the SIR chirped.  
  
"NO! I'd nver be afraid of some FILTHY Earthenoid's PATHETIC hut!!" he spat contemptibly.  
  
"Hehe! But it looks like a haunted house from TVvVVVVv!!!" he retorted happily.  
  
Zim looked at his SIR. "Tell me more of these... 'haunted houses', GIR."  
  
*** somewhere on the street  
  
Lilith headed down the street, resting her hands upon the leathery hilts of her daggers. She had cought sight of the target hurrying somewhere around here.  
A very conspicious, luminous green house received her attention.  
Glancing the building over, she decided against this house. There were Irken wirings at the sides. It must be that 'Zim's'.  
  
"EEP!" A tiny voice. Filled with fear.  
  
Lilith spun round, and narrowed her eyes. Their inhuman-ness was masked over with a dark pair of shades, that looked very strange with her uniform, but she didn't care.  
No one was in sight. The prey was hiding. She pulled out a duo of Cherry-bombs.  
  
"Wait! Wait!! Don't throw those!! I'll come out!" Dib stepped out from behind a mailbox, hands in the air, like in the movies.  
  
"Why are your hands in the air? Are you about to use some strange Human technology to attack me?" the Steel Wing questioned.  
  
Dib was confused. "Huh? No. It's a Human expression of surrender."  
  
Lilith nodded. "Oh." She brandished a dagger. "You're the Human who was accompanying the Wing Invader," she stated coolly. "Tell me, Human. Where does the Wing reside?"  
  
Dib mentally weighed some consequences. A mad Fausta, or a mad Lilith. Let's go with mad Fausta. "Right over here!" He led the mercenary to the dark, marine house.  
  
*** Fausta and Faust's Earthen base  
  
"Computer. Tell Fausta, her Wingen friend is coming down the street," Faust said boredly from the couch.  
  
"Processing."  
  
"Computer, why do you say 'processing' to everything we tell you to do??" Faust questioned, a bit irritated.  
  
"Huh? Well, what to you WANT me to say, hm!?" the machine growled.  
  
Faust shook his head. "I dunno. But you didn't have to snap."  
  
"Yes, um.. My apologies, Master. I will alert the mistress."  
  
*** Nny's place  
  
Zim shivered uncontrollably. Such nonsense... He was an Irken soldier! He couldn't let the morbid fantasies of demented TV-slave Humans get to him!  
  
GIR smiled. "I think you're scaaared, Master!" he said happily.  
  
"Argh! Think what you will, GIR!" Zim replied angrily.  
  
"Yaaay!! Master's scared! Master's scared!!"  
  
"I am NOT!"  
  
*** Fausta and Faust's Earthen base  
  
"Oh great..." Fausta paced back and forth in her room. "That lousy Wing... Wait! Our base is like a huge maze!! Yes! It's a huge maze of elevators, glass, metal, hidden passages, secret rooms, and water!! She'll never find me!" This relieved the Onyx Wing a bit.  
"Computer, shut off all the lighting in the B levels," she commanded.  
  
"Affirmative."  
  
" 'Affirmative', ...computer..??" Fausta questioned, concerned. She hoped there wasn't ANOTHER bug in it.  
  
"Master Faust dislikes the word 'processing'," the machine explained in a whiney tone.  
  
"Yeah, well, Faust dislikes a lot of things! You can say 'processing' around me though, alright? 'Affirmative'... Ick, whadda weird word!"  
  
*** Nny's place  
  
"You ARE scared, master!!"  
  
"Are NOT!"  
  
"Are too!!"  
  
"Not!!"  
  
"TOO!!"  
  
"That's IT, GIR! I've had enough of this filth-hut!! Let us get out of here!" Zim rode GIR back over the fencing, and back to their house.  
  
Unknown to the both of them Nny had been watching the strange two the whole time.  
"I wonder what that loud kid wanted..."  
  
*** Outside the Earthen base of Faust and Fausta  
  
"Yyello??" Faust greeted unenthusiastically, opening the door.  
  
The Steel Wing Lilith had sent away Dib, and saluted curtly to Platinum Wing Faust. "Hello, Sir. Where is your student? I've a little mission to kill her."  
  
"She's kind of hiding deep underground, probably behind a lot of heavy weaponry and stuff too," Faust answered dully. "Maybe you should target her at skool."  
  
"Oh. Forgive me, Sir." Lilith saluted again. "Skool, hm?"  
  
"Yeah. Center City Hi Skool to be exact... Although I'd rather you not kill her," he continued.  
  
"Ah. Thank you, for the tip. And why do you not want me to destroy her?" she decided to question before she left.  
  
"Well, she's kinda my little cousin as well as my student, you know."  
  
"Oh..." Lilith walked off.  
  
A small Human child walking with his mom suddenly saw Lilith heading down the sidewalk.  
"Mommy! Mommy!!" he cried. "There's a wacky-looking lady with sunglasses and WINGS walking near us!"  
  
"Hush, dear! She may be some kind of freak lady! You don't know what those wings can do!" the mother replied quickly.  
  
Lilith narrowed her eyes behind her shades. It was rather pointless to wear the shades with out a proper disguise for her wings, but she'd been hoping the stupid Human inhabitants didn't notice the steel, claw-like wings flattened against her back. She couldn't just retract them like Invaders could.  
Stupid Humans.  
She tossed a single Cherry-bomb at the two Humans, causing them and the ground around them to explode.  
And as for the target, Lilith would strike tomorrow, Wednesday, at skool. How hard could it be to finish her in a densely children-packed building?  
  
"Hey...!! I saw you make those two people... um... make them... go 'boom', you know!"  
  
The mercenary turned her head slightly, to look at the Human owner of the annoying, nasally voice. Some stupid, short man. "Yes, so?"  
  
"You can get in trouble with the authorit... author...no...um,... the police, ya know..??" he added.  
  
Lilith sighed and began to walk a little faster, reaching for a dagger.  
  
"Hey...!! You can't run!! You did a bad thing, you winged weirdo! I'm--"  
  
The annoying voice was suddenly, blessedly cut off, and ended with a soft gurgle.  
The Wing mercenary spun to see what had happened.  
  
The tip of a cheap, old knife pierced through the annoying Human's throat, letting his lifeblood blood flow.  
A different man, quietly slipped out from under the lid to a manhole.  
  
Lilith was puzzled. "Do you live in the Humans' sewage system?"  
  
Nny brushed himself off and looked about the surroundings. "No."  
  
"Hm. Well, I thank you, Human, for disposing of that disturbing filth," Lilith said, not sounding very grateful.  
  
Nny nodded. "It was my pleasure. I despise those scum, that focusing upon and speak ill of those they find even remotely different. And, you did all right yourself, with that woman and her kid. Too bad you had to use explosives though."  
  
The Wing shrugged. "I could've used THESE." She showed him a dagger. "Speaking of blades, you can have this one. It's much better than that of your Earthen bladed weapons." Lilith tossed it to the thin Human, who caught it with seemingly Wing-like reflexes. "Impressive."  
  
"The dagger, or my catch?"  
  
"Both."  
  
Nny was silent. He examined the strange weapon. "...These aren't Earth metals?" he asked.  
  
"No. Irken. Our biggest trade partners."  
  
"... Hm. The last time I had a conversation this long, I was talking to myself," the thin Human commented suddenly. It was a refreshing change. She was a quiet, calm, and understandable person.  
  
"Ah. That's nice. I don't even HAVE conversations with myself." She sighed and wiped some blood from her face, that had gotten on her from the bomb explosion.  
What was up with this guy? Or was he just nicer than the usual Human?  
  
"Oh. Perhaps you should try it sometime. Although, I suppose self conversations aren't generally soothing, they can show you new sides of yourself you'd otherwise never know. ...Not that it's always a good thing." Nny shrugged.  
  
"Yes. Some things are better left unknown."  
  
"Like my name?"  
  
"Hm? Oh, no, not at all. What IS your name, Human?" she asked in her usual indifferent tone.  
  
"Johnny. Just call me Nny, though."  
  
"All right. I suppose it would be inappropriate of me not to give my title as well." She touched the largest pendant on her necklace. STL. "I am Lilith, Mercenary of the Steel Wings."  
  
"Lovely name. Nice outfit, by the way," he commented.  
  
"Thank you. Those are interesting boots, you have," the mercenary complimented in return.  
She'd never had such a long, nor pleasant talk with someone before. It was refreshing. She almost began smiling with a happiness that didn't come from the pain or misfortune of another. She was becoming uneasy. Time to talk about something she was more used to.  
"You know, if you're planning on keeping your old blade as well, you should clean it off. Nothing rusts weapons like mortal blood."  
  
Nny shook his head. "Thanks, but, no. I don't want it."  
  
Lilith stared at the dead body upon the street, lying in a pool of his own blood. "...How lucky he is, to be dead... Free of this disgusting world and his sad exsistence."  
  
Johnny shook his head again. "Trust me. Death isn't what it's all cracked up to be. Everything is still the same. The people worrying about the stupidest, most trivial things in life, there are jerks, and hypocrites. They have uninmaginable power at their fingertips, and they do nothing but sit around for all eternity... Still, they're some really good bagels and nice coats down there."  
  
The Steel Wing raised a golden brow. She wasn't sure if she should believe the guy. But he really had no motivation to lie, right? "You've died before...?"  
  
"Yeah. Wasn't as pleasurable as you might think." Nny shrugged his thin shoulders.  
  
"An afterlife... I had no idea..." Lilith thought aloud. "Are there any Wings there?"  
  
" 'Wings'? As in your race? Well, I didn't see anyone with any Wings, but that doesn't mean they're not there." The man took on a thinking look. "But I saw lots of flying bunnies..."  
  
Lilith was beginning to think hat this Nny was crazy. Nice, but crazy.  
Of course, the only person she'd be able to nicely communicate with was someone who was insane. She darkened, and her metallic wings slackened.  
  
"What's wrong?" He noticed her sudden large amount of unhappiness. "Do those flying bunnies get to you too?"  
  
"No, Human. Just reflecting." She looked at the dark man's eyes. "Do you know what it's like to be CREATED to life, in some cold, dark lab just for one purpose-- to SERVE others? There is no family. No real friends. Only 'Sir', 'Ma'am', 'Master', and 'Mistress'. For the first thirteen years of your life, you're heavily trained in the offensive arts. Always pain and exhaustion. And then, shipped off of your homeplanet, to go off and kill people to make yourself a name and a living."  
  
"...No. I can't say I do..." Nny replied honestly. "So is that why you're here? That kind of living must really be eating into your social life, huh?"  
  
Lilith turned around, to wander off into the nearby streets and continue to find a good spot for her base. Her little life-story made her feel uncomfortable around him. "Yeah.... I'll be leaving now."  
  
---------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Well, time for some Center City Hi Skool madness, huh?? Aw, won't Dib, Zim, and Fausta be SOOO happy to see Lil again??  
How ya like this chapter?? Review me, please!!  
Hm... I don't see the spell checker anywhere... Crap... Do any of you have Notepad, or whatever?? I dunno where the spell checker is!!  
  
The Lesson for This Chapter: Pizza Toffee Ice Suckies taste exactly the way they sound. That may be a good or a bad thing, depending on your tastes. 


	8. Skool-Time DOOM

pureVENOM: Hey, miss me, peoplez!? Mwa hahaha!!! I'm currently listening to a LOVELY song! Some "Impending Doom Mix" I saw in Gir's IZ site. I like it much..... **squeals in sheer delight**  
Hehe! Anyway, lots of classroom tensions here!  
  
---------------  
  
Chapter Eight: Skool-Time DOOM  
  
---------------  
  
Fausta stood back and watched with a blank expression as Dib chased the shouting Zim around the Hi Skool Campus, trying to get his diguise-wig off; she didn't want to get involved in this little quarrel.  
  
"CURSE YOU, FILTHY-HUUUMAN!! CURSE YOOOOU!!!"  
  
"Your curses don't bother ME, Zim! I'll expose you to the world as what you really ARE!! ...Again!!"  
  
The Dib-Human had captured Zim once before, a month or so ago, and had turned him in to a group of renown scientists. They, as well as quite of bit of their guards and such, were soon after, killed, and the Irken had been rescued by a rocket-happy GIR, who'd been sent by Fausta. Dib hadn't been glad about that.  
  
"Don't make me wreak sweet vengeance upon you again, Earth-monkey! Instead of a bologna, next time-- I'll... do something like... the Scary Monkey, or Chocolate Bubblegum!!"  
  
"You WOULDN'T!!"  
  
"Oh yes, I WOULD!!"  
  
"Oh, you ROTTEN, ALIEN MONSTER!!" Dib stopped to throw a little pebble that surprisingly hit Zim, bouncing off his green head.  
  
The Onyx Wing had to snicker at that.  
  
"You WRETCHED, FILTH-PIG-WEASIL-PIG!!!" Zim growled, holding his head.  
  
The screamed word 'wretched' rose some old memories. "Hah! Maybe instead of exposing you, I'll just find some way to trap you in the world of the Halloweenies!!"  
  
"HALLOWEENIES!? Zim has braved FAR more frightening things than those deformed creatures that reside within your disturbed, disturbingly large head!!"  
  
"MY HEAD'S NOT BIG!"  
  
"Hey, will you two stop playing around, already?" Fausta declared, exasperated by their insipid, inside-threats. "Skool starts in a few minutes. I don't want Mr. Bitters to get in a bad mood if you two are late!"  
  
The two male rivals thought this through quickly and decided to head for the classroom.  
  
As the three were walking PEACEFULLY to Bitters's room, Fausta glanced at Dib. "You know, Human. Your head is actually a lot bigger than average, now that Zim mentions it."  
  
He gave the Wing a horrified look. "Not YOU too!!"  
  
Fausta grinned devilishly, and shifted her back pack slightly since it was starting to cut off the blood-circulation to her right shoulder. "Hehe.."  
  
"You see, Dib-monkey!? Even the Wing-beast agrees with me!" the Irken declared with pride.  
  
Dib rolled his eyes and shot a look at the Wing Invader. "Oh. You mean the 'schizoid'?"  
  
The Onyx Wing glared evilly at him.  
  
*** The class of Bitters  
  
The trio sat to their corresponding seats; the bell ringing immediately afterwards.  
  
"So, ALL THREE of you are on time..." Bitters growled from the front desk.  
  
Fausta and Zim saluted curtly. "Yes, Sir!"  
  
The Dib snorted. "Kiss-ups."  
  
The two invaders didn't take well to the insult and threw some paper balls at him once the instructor had turned around.  
  
"Ow, ow! HEY!" The Dib-Human brushed at the back of his neck where a pointy piece of paper had poked him.  
  
"Be quiet, Dib, before I rip out that scythe of hair you have, and scarf it down your pathetic throat," Bitters warned from the front board, silencing everyone who'd been talking at the moment.  
  
(The author is becoming restless, and is running low on time. So, she's going to speed things up a bit!!)  
  
Fausta sighed slightly, and tapped the eraser side of her pencil against her desk top soundlessly. Zim was occupying his time balancing his own writing implement on his green upper lip. Dib went back and forth from watching his two non-Human enemies and strange teacher.  
The Onyx Wing, absentmindedly, took out her notebook, and began jotting down random nonsense. 'ALL FEAR BITTERS' or 'RAISE SOME DOOM' and 'THIS PLANET OF SWEET GOUDA CHEESE IS MINE!'  
Fausta stifled a giggle at her last sentence. Gouda cheese was yummy. She had it for the first time with her friend, GIR. 'FRIEND'!? The lead tip of her pencil snapped against the messy sheet of paper. She snorted. She had no FRIENDS. She didn't need them either. It must be some residue of the horrible Kil, floating around in her consciousness. That's all.  
  
Dib noticed the Wing's sudden wave of surprise. She seemed to do stuff like this a lot. Maybe her brain was unstable or SOMETHING.  
  
"So you see, children, THAT is why flamingoes are pink, and will be the eventual DOOM of our planet..." Mr. Bitters scowled and pointed to the picture of a pinkish-red flamingo on the chalk board.  
  
"Mr. Bitters!"  
  
The non-Human teacher narrowed his eyes behind his gleaming, oval spectacles. "Yes, Spoo? Are those stupid, DOOMed raccoon-mongooses I unleashed on you yesterday still chewing on your feet, or do you have a question?"  
  
The pale child blinked his quivering azure eyes. "I have a question, Sir. What do flamingoes and the doom of the world have to do with Geometry?"  
  
Mr. Bitters rose a silvery brow. "Are you saying that the EVIL conspiracy behind the pinkness of marine birds, and the fate of our world is not WORTHY enough to be conversed about in the classroom, Spoo?"  
  
The boy contemplated this. "N-no, Sir--"  
  
"Do you not CARE about the future of Earth, and the stopping of these foul water fowl, SPOO??" he continued, in a raspier voice than normal.  
  
The student was shivering in terror. "No--"  
  
"Well, I sure don't. Who gives a flying fig about stupid pink birds who want to destroy the world, anyway?" Mr. Bitters began to drone on about the flamingoes and their plans again.  
  
Zim was remotely interested. "What is with this airborne fruit?" he pondered aloud. The instructor had often said 'flying fig' to the class, but the Irken could never discover its underlying meaning.  
  
"Those lousy, DOOMed flappy creatures," Bitters continued.  
  
Fausta took a bit of offense.  
  
"They're all DOOMed. And we're all DOOMed. Everything's just DOOMe--"  
  
The DOOMing teacher was interuptted by the crisp sound of shattering glass. An all-too-familiar person crounched down, covering her golden-haired head from the crystalinne rain.  
  
Fausta leapt up from her seat. "YOU! Leave me alone!! I just want to invade this planet and be all normal!!"  
  
Dib looked up at his classmates to see if any of them had heard what the Invader had just admitted to. They were all too busy gawking at Lilith and the broken glass.  
  
Melvin shuddered a bit. "M-Mr. Bitterss... I-I'm a-- I'm SCARED OF BROKEN GLASS!!" And with that, the glass-phobiac boy ran screaming, into the hallway.  
Well, haven't you ever wondered HOW his head was able to disconnect with his Human shoulders? Answer-- BROKEN. GLASS.  
Hey, if YOUR head was lopped off by broken glass, you'd be scared too! ...Huh?? Why's he still alive?? How in Irk would I know!? I'm just the author!! Um... I mean... I'm only a figment of your fanfic-crazed imagination... WhoooOoOo...  
  
Lilith shook the shards from her back and hair, and leveled a single dagger. "Draw your weapon, Onyx Wing," she growled lowly.  
  
The Wing Invader shook her head wildly, but took out her own blade anyway, as if for comfort, or moral support. "By the Infernoes, no! I'm not a warrior! Who SENT you anyway!?"  
  
Dib watched happily from his seat. Zim, however, looked a bit unnerved by this all. He reached a gloved talon into a coat pocket, and grasped the handle of his blaster.  
  
"Young lady, may I ask you to leave my classroom?"  
  
All heads turned to Bitters. He had no fear whatsoever depicted on his withered face, and cracked his knuckles dangerously.  
  
The Steel Wing gave a disbelieving and arrogant 'hmph'. "Some old Demi-Human?" She pointed the tip of her dagger at the snarling teacher. "Don't get in the way of my job."  
  
Bitters's eyes widened in shock. "YOU'RE threatening ME, girl? And in my own enviroment??" He slithered with a hissing effect, over his desk, and over to the mercenary, meeting her face-to-face. "I'm no 'DEMI-HUMAN', child," he growled. "I don't even know what the horrid thing IS, but just get out before I use those pretty steel wings of yours as fodder for my army of roaches!"  
  
Lilith was in truth intimidated by the strange, un-fearing behavior of the non-Human, but showed nothing of it. "I'll leave your territory, 'SIR', once I finish my mission."  
  
"NO one tortures or kills my students with out my permission, but ME." The instructor hissed menacingly and the room darkened visibly.  
  
The Steel Wing took an involuntary step back. This man obviously owned vast power. "Then.. may I receive your permission to destroy the Onyx Wing?"  
  
"You mean that stupid boy, Fausta?"  
  
Lilith looked confused. "Um, yes. Fausta. The girl."  
  
Bitters shook his head. "No... I don't have a female Fausta. Look here." He showed his classroom papers to the mercenary. "Fausta's a boy."  
  
The mercenary furrowed her brows. She didn't want to get into a stupid argument with the instructor. "Yeah, him."  
  
Dib and Zim snickered a bit.  
  
Fausta glared at her two rivals. "I CAN'T believe you guys can LAUGH at a time like this! ...And for such a DUMB reason!"  
  
Mr. Bitters ignored his students. "Yeah, go ahead and kill him. I have too many students anyway. Everyone ELSE, work in your textbooks, until I say you're done."  
  
The Wing Invader put on a bewildered expression as everyone went to work on their books. "Bitters!! Sir! Please, DON'T!"  
  
It was too late. The Onyx Wing attempted to dodge a leaping slash from her Wingen attacker, but received a shallow gash in the left shoulder. Her Wing Invader body kept most of the blood cells in check, but a little bit flowed through the torn skin and coat fabric.  
It was time to freak out.  
She couldn't manuveur properly about the classroom with all those tall desks in the way. The Onyx Wing let let Wins emerge from her back, having the knife-sharp feathers slice through the back of her T-shirt and coat.  
She could use the vast span of her wings as a makeshift shield, and use them to help hop about the room.  
"Mr. Bitters!! Don't be so cruel!! STOP HER!!" she cried, flapping/jumping past the front desk as Lilith pursued her.  
  
Zim wondered if he should help the invader. He felt a LITTLE sorry for her. Being helplessly chased by some trained, blood-thirsy killer and all. He remembered the instructor's assignment. Textbook. He continued scribbling down answers. Oh well. The schizoid, flappy-beast deserved as much. Thinking SHE would rule this pitiful dirt-ball, instead of ZIM!  
  
"Hey, Wing Mercenary!! Who sent you, huh!? Couldn't you AT LEAST tell me that!?" Fausta shrieked, hopping a few desks away. "And what're thay paying you!? I can easily double the amount, whatever it is!!"  
  
Lilith wasn't a talkative person. "The identity of a Wing Mercenarys' clients and their intentions are ALWAYS confidential, Invader. And you CAN'T double what I'm going to get for destroying you and a select other few Wings." She took a ferocious lunge, and started thinking about using a Cherry-bomb.  
  
"Why not!? I'm the cousin AND student of a Platinum Wing!! You think I--"  
  
"I'm going to become an Invader."  
  
Fausta almost stopped. But the pressure of the moment kept her on her toes. "What!?" She flared her wings in disbelief.  
  
Dib and Zim were now both secretly watching this. It was getting too good for them to just ignore.  
  
"I'm going to have all the glory, power, name, strength, and abilities you Wing INVADERS have," Lilith spat disdainfully. "I'm NOT going to be just some second or first rank MERCENARY anymore. I'm not going to be walked all over, or used as some tool of destruction and DOOM anymore!"  
  
"Wow. Inter-species conflict..." Dib mumured to himself, jotting notes down.  
  
"Oh." Fausta's wings drooped. "Uh..." She sprinted for the front exit of the room.  
  
Lilith was about to let her target escape. She tossed the Cherry-bomb at the door, and they exploded on impact with the hard, wooden surface.  
  
Fausta, burned severely, headed the opposite direction; the front door was gone, buried in skool-brick rubble. There was still the back door, and the option of windows.  
  
"THAT'S IT! Wing Steel, Steel Wing, Wingy Mercenary, I don't care what they call you! Just get out!! That was the ONLY front door I had!! I use it to hang bad students by their toenails on! And you just exploded it!" Mr. Bitters slithered to the top of his desk.  
  
He had never been THIS angry before.  
  
Lilith felt the unhappiful aura radiated from the teacher of darkness. She shrunk back and bowed curtly. "I apologize, Sir, but can easily repai--"  
  
"Out NOW. BEFORE I sic my army of rabid, fanged raoches on you." His spectacled eyes narowed o silver slits.  
  
The mercenary was torn. She scolwed. There were always more days. "Alright, Sir. I'll leave, with out any further incident." The Steel Wing glared at Fausta. "I'll finish you probably NEXT TIME, Invader." She turned, and leapt out of the broken windows.  
  
Fausta retracted her wings and had the skin grow back over her shoulder wound, and sat back at her desk as if nothing had ever happened.  
  
"Whew! Better watch out, next time then, huh, Fausta??" Dib sneered gleefully.  
  
Fausta shot him an unhappy look.  
  
"Dib! Be quiet now! You have to clean up that rubble there, in the front of the class after skool today!"  
  
"wh...?"  
  
"Talking BACK, Dib!?" Bitters snarled. "Am I getting too liberal!? You clean AND install a new door now!!"  
  
Dib's face fell. Fausta and Zim exchanged grins.  
  
---------------  
  
pureVENOM: Hey, how's this?? I think there's too much of Lil and Fausta.  
I'm going to try to have the next chapter star Zim, Dib, Fausta, GIR, Lil, and Nny. Fausta has a demented little plan to RID herself of her horrible, would-be killer... Much strangeness to come!! Mwa haha... I like the idea for the next chapter! It may last several chapters to be solved, I think. Not sure.  
Review me!!  
  
The Lesson for This Chapter: DON'T argue with your evil teachers... Just DON'T. 


	9. Say

pureVENOM: Well, I don't think I'll finish writing this today... Hm. I hope it turns out okay. Well, read and review, peoplez!! ^___^ See?? I am smiling so that you will be happy and read and review me!!  
Invader Zim, JtHM, and Squee! are great. Watch, read, and worship! The two "w's" and "r".  
  
-------------------  
  
Chapter Nine: Say "Hello" to the Helmets!  
  
--------------------  
  
*** Fausta's Room on Earth  
  
"That HORRIBLY ANNOYING Wing Mercenary!!" Fausta hissed through clenched, fang-like teeth. She flared her wings in anger, and brought a furious fist down upon her computer board panel.  
  
"Hey! Please! Mistress, I would rather not be damaged, you know," the computer stated, miffed.  
  
"Sorry, Compy." The Onyx Wing shook her head in frustration. "I'm just reflecting... Thinkin' of a way to get rid of her..."  
  
The keyboard lights flickered a little, as if in confusion. " 'Compy'??"  
  
Fausta smirked, baring off-white fangs. "What? You don't like it?? I think it's a cute name!"  
  
"Whatever you say, Mistress Fausta."  
  
The Wing Invader sighed and stretched her dark wings. "Have any ideas on how to off the mercenary?" she questioned, watching the sea-water critters glide by in the tubing above.  
  
The computer had the main screen glowed to life, displaying a picture of Lilith, and various data on her. "Any known weaknesses?"  
  
"Oh yeah. A weakness. By Styx, if I KNEW ANY of the woman's weaknesses, she'd be DEAD by now!!" Fausta snapped, losing her temper. She'd been through too many near-death incidents from the Steel Wing. "But that Lilith... Argh! She's too powerful! Too fast! Too many weapons!"  
  
The screen blinked off. "Well, if the body is too strong, there's always the mind. Target her mind, hm??"  
  
The Onyx Wing suddenly brightened. "Excellent idea, Compy!!" She spun round in the revolving chair, accidentally falling off in her excitement. "Oof! Ow." The Wing shot back to her feet, and brushed herself off, embarrassed.  
She put on a malicious look. "I have just the thing!" There was a glint in her sepia eyes. "And just the people to help me!" She began to cackle maniacally.  
  
"Mistress, tomorrow's skool day. Shouldn't you wait for the weekend to launch your little plan??" the computer advised.  
  
Fausta's face fell. "You know, you REALLY spoil all my happy/evil vibes."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Yeah, yeah. Anyway, this is too important to just put off until the weekend, Compy!! Can't you see!?" She drummed her fingers on an arm. "Well, I guess I'm off then. Gotta go get my buddies!!" She beamed and ran out of her chambers.  
  
*** Up in the living room  
  
"Hey, Faust," the younger Wing greeted unenthusiastically as she emerged from the fountain elevator.  
  
"Wassup?" he replied, sipping at a Classic Poop, gazing at the fish-tank-wall.  
  
"Wouldn't you like to know?" the Onyx Wing answered back, shaking the water from her hair and arms, getting some on her cousin.  
  
"Hey, watch it..." Faust growled, annoyed. "Any droplet of water you get in the Poop might spoil the taste."  
  
"Hardly..." Fausta hopped over to the living room phone and dialed up a number. She'd found them in one of the offices of the skool a couple of days ago.  
  
After a few rings, the call was answered. "Hello? Future Lord-of-Humans and other such Earthen creatures here."  
  
"Oh shut-up, Zim." The Wing rolled her eyes at the Irken's greeting.  
  
"What!? Schizoid Wing-beast!? What are you doing, calling my base!?"  
  
"Be quiet and make this a little easier for me, hm, Irken-mortal?? Come over to my base, down the street, or you'll do much regretting."  
  
"You mean 'ruing'??" A sneery tone.  
  
"Whatever. I'd like your help with something. Be here. NOW."  
  
"Alright, Wing. But any strange and/or sudden action will result in your slow and painful demise."  
  
The Wing Invader snorted in false amusement. "As if. You DREAM, Irken. You DREAM!!"  
  
"Hah! You speak PITIFUL lies, Wing!! Huh?? Argh, HEY! Ooh! Who izzit!? GIR! No! Get aw-- stop!!" There was a sudden click sound as Zim hung up the phone.  
  
Fausta raised a dark brow, and shrugged off the weirdness. She punched in another phone number.  
  
"....Hello?" A cautious voice.  
  
The Onyx Wing smiled. "Hiya, Dib-mortal! How was skool??"  
  
"AHH!!! YOU!! You KNOW how my skool day was, you winged monster!! Those horrible acid cubes of Zim's!! Down my shirt!! AGH!! The burns!! They still BURN!! Grrr... Be QUIET, Dib! I'm on the last level!!"  
  
"Oh yeah... Heh. That's right. The acid cubes... Say, what's your sister playing, mortal??"  
  
"Look if you just called to gloat about the cubes, you-- Huh?? Game?? What do YOU care!?"  
  
Fausta put on a thoughtful expression. "That's right! I called to tell you to get over to my base immediately. I need your help with something!"  
  
"HAH! YOU need MY help!? What makes you think that I'd come??"  
  
"Oh, you'll stop by, Human. One way or another."  
  
"...And how would you force me to stop by??"  
  
She smirked. "Ah, Wingen technology... Gotta love that stuff. Well, just use your imagination, mortal! Anyway, Zim's invited too! I dunno if you'll take that as a good or bad thing though."  
  
"Hm? I guess it's a pretty good thing... Another chance at vengeance!! ...Zim doesn't know I'm coming, right??"  
  
"I don't think so."  
  
"Yes!" The Dib hung up.  
  
Fausta left the phone, and headed to the door to wait for her guests.  
A loud knocking promptly ensued.  
The Wing opened it to reveal a scowling, disguised Irken.  
  
"Greetings, Irken." She motioned to an empty couch. "Please, make yourself at home, while you still can."  
  
Zim narrowed his lavender eyes and stood a bit aways from the door. "I think not, flappy schizoid."  
  
"Uh huh." Fausta turned to watch the front door.  
  
"Well? What are you waiting for?? What's the whole point of entering your DISGUSTING Wingen home??" the Irken glanced at the reclining Faust, from the corner of his lensed eyes.  
  
"Hang on, Zim. I'm sure he'll be here soon." The Onyx Wing shrugged.  
  
"WHO will be here soo--"  
  
A stream of bubbly, pine-scented water jetted through the open door, hitting Zim full in the face. Soap water. In a few silent moments, the Irken was on the ground, screaming and twitching.  
  
"Alright! Another point for the Humans of Earth!" Dib cried, as he leapt into the house, and tossed away his now empty water-gun.  
  
Fausta frowned, and quickly pulled off her coat to dry off the shuddering alien before the soap water caused any serious burns. "Dib. I kinda don't want you guys to kill each other, you know. That's my job."  
  
Dib pouted. "Well, you told him before, he should keep his guard up."  
  
"Yeah, I know. Well, good job, anyway, I guess," she congratulated the Human.  
  
Zim was livid, but said nothing, and went to perch himself upon the couch's arm. He was still trying to think of a new substance, that would repel both water and soap water. The piney-fresh soap water Dib owned cut through the paste like a blaster through ...something ...really soft.  
"Wing-beast. What is our purpose here?"  
  
The Onyx Wing turned on her heel and went to pick up a helmet-looking object from the nearby coffee table, that she had brought up for this. "Well, you know that Wing Mercenary."  
  
The two paled.  
  
"Lemme guess. You want US to help you destroy her," Dib stated dully.  
  
"Exactly. Oh, how ever did you think of THAT??" she replied.  
  
The Irken jerked his head to the helmet-device. "That isn't what I think it is, ...is it??" His scowl deepened.  
  
Fausta held the bright-red helmet up a bit. "No, it probably is, Irken. Anyway, I want YOU to slip it onto Steel Wing Lilith's head, while the Dib-mortal distracts her--"  
  
Dib took a step forward. "Hey, hey! SOME of us aren't very knowledgable on these alien mechanisms! What IS it!?"  
  
The Onyx Wing frowned. "Dib, it was invented by the Wings, and so, ISN'T an alien device. And it's called a Mind Delver. This helmety-thing, when put on the head of someone, namely Lilith, will cause her to fall into a deep sleep. More like unconsciousness, really."  
  
Dib didn't really like this. 'Mind Delver'?? NOT a nice name.  
  
"And her mind will become vulnerable to the things in her dreams and subconsciousness," Zim added for the Wing, touching a water-burn on his green face gingerly.  
  
Dib shook his head. "Really? But you could always just destroy Lilith after the Mind Delvy thingy is on her, yourself, right?"  
  
Fausta frowned. "Yes, but that would be disgustingly cheap and un-fun! Also, I'd lose a LOT of Credits if I did that."  
  
"Oh." The Human nodded.  
  
"Anyhoo, when the Mind Delver helmety thingy is on someone's head, a little screen appears in front of their face, showing how that person's dream self is doing." The Onyx Wing placed the helmet back upon the table.  
  
Dib put on a concerned look. "Wait. What if Lilith gets through her dream world all right?? Won't she wake up, and then kill us all for bothering her??"  
  
Zim snorted. "It's not as easy to wake up from the Mind Delver device as you may think, Human-stink."  
  
Dib scowled but said nothing.  
  
Fausta smirked. "Hey, you rhymed, Irken!"  
  
Zim blinked. " 'Ri-mmed'?? What is this 'ri-mmed'??"  
  
She shook her head. "Um, never mind. Kil was starting to bubble up again. Phew! Er, anyways, Dib-mortal. To awaken from a sleep induced by the Mind Delver, you have to travel around the Dream World, until you find this thingy called Excitare."  
  
Dib looked thoughtful. " 'To wake'?? What is it? What's this thing look like?"  
  
Fausta sighed. "Infernoes, you're a curious one! Yes, Excitare. 'To wake.' It looks like a floaty... sphere of dark... darkness. You go through it, and your sleepy-time is over!"  
  
"Hm..." The Human quickly jotted all this down on a tiny notebook, which Zim abruptly speared with a spider-leg, and began running, cackling evilly.  
  
Dib eventually snatched it back, when the alien stopped, horrified at the many watery items about the house. The Human smoothed the pages out as best as he could and put it carefully away.  
  
"Okaaay..." Fausta blinked. She put on a icy expression. "Alright, you two!" The Wing gave the helmet to a reluctant Dib. "You guys know what to do! Fail in your given mission, and you will both be immediately eliminated by me!" She gave them a supposedly moral-boosting salute and hurried them out of the door.  
  
Faust looked over to his little cousin. "You invited THOSE two over?? The Human spy, and the Irken?? What's wrong with you?"  
  
Fausta shook her head. "Nothing, Faust. I think things are actually going to get a lot better..."  
  
He flicked his platinum-colored wings. "Hmph. I CAN'T believe you think that those two will actually be able to pull it off. You three are the STUPIDEST pieces of dead meat I've ever seen."  
  
"Hey, I'm sure they can do it! How hard could it be?? The Steel Wing seems pretty mellow if I'm not around." She shrugged.  
  
"Whatever you say. You're still a goner." Faust turned back to gaze at the fish and their watery habitat.  
  
"Hey, aren't Wings supposed to be OPTImistic??" Fausta frowned at him.  
  
"I'm just stating the facts."  
  
*** Outside, on the street  
  
Dib glared at his Irken ally. "Okay, Zim. You're familiar with this alien technology."  
  
Zim snorted. "When will you get it through that abnormally thick stink-beast skull of yours, that the Mind Delver is NOT an alien object?"  
  
The Human gave a dismissive wave of a hand. "Whatever. But HOW are we supposed to find that bomb-flicking Wing-lady??" He moved his arms about to emphasize his words. "What? Is she just going to come crashing out of the sky, or--"  
  
"Fly into MY face, will you!?!? YOU LITTLE--!!"  
  
The two rivals looked up, to see the Steel Wing leaping off a neighboring rooftop, slashing at some ...tiny,...flying,...singing,... yellow dot.  
  
"The evil death-bee!!" cried the Irken, taking an involuntary step back. FEAR the bee!!  
  
Dib shot Zim a strange look. "Uh, right. Anyways, Zim, I guess that 'evil death-bee' is providing you enough of a distraction, so, I'll just be going now! See ya!" The Human ran off and ducked behind a conveniently placed mailbox, to take notes on these not-so-everyday happenings.  
  
"Cowardly weasil-pig-Human," the Irken grumbled. Zim stood up on his spider-legs, needing their speed and height, and took a quick jump.  
  
The Wing paid no attention to the teenage boys. She was too busy slashing at the death-bee in her blind rage, while clutching a bleeding injury above her left eye. Zim was able to get close enough to shove the crimson helmet onto her head. Lilith had not noticed the alien until it was too late.  
She immediately fell over, unconscious. A foot-long screen flickered on, but Zim wasn't worried about it at the moment. He retracted his four extra legs and reached for a wing to drag the unmoving form by.  
"Agh!" Zim cried out, hopping back, sucking on his gloved hand. The steely feathers had sliced right through the material and skin. The Irken let out an annoyed growl.  
  
Dib popped up. "Hey, good job, Zim!"  
  
The Irken pointed an angry claw at the Human. "YOU! Don't even DARE think that you'll get any credit in all this, Dib-stink! *I* did all the work!"  
  
The Dib waved his hands in a signal of peace. "Of course! Don't stress, Zim! Sheesh."  
  
Zim smiled thinly at his little victory. It quickly turned into a frown as he grasped Lil's limp right arm and began to drag her over to Fausta's base. The woman was a lot heavier than she looked-- probably from all the weaponry, armor, and muscle.  
  
A pair of large eyes watched the Irken and Human walking towards the dark house, from a large, shadowy bush. They narrowed, and the leafy plant seemed to erupt in an explosion of green as the owner of the beady oculars burst out.  
  
"Hiiiiya, Master!!" GIR latched onto his green master's leg lovingly.  
  
"Let GO of me, GIR!" Zim growled angrily, shaking his captive leg about in vain. "WHAT are you doing out here!? You may not be advanced, but you still have to guard the house!"  
  
"I came out for a walk! The talky TV-people say it's good for your heart!! Wheee!! This's fuuun!!" the tiny robot squealed in joy.  
  
"GIR, you HAVE no heart!! You're a robot!"  
  
Dib chuckled at the two aliens' silliness.  
  
Zim sighed. "GIR, if you want to stay here, help me move this dagger-wielding Wing-beast into the schizoid's base."  
  
"Ooookie dokie!!" the SIR chirped. He started up his flight engines, zoomed under the sleeping Wing, and jetted her to the house looming ahead.  
  
Faust was still in the same spot, drinking Poop and watching the water-filled wall.  
Zim REALLY did NOT like this house. So... much... water... Everywhere...  
  
Fausta looked through a large doorway at hearing the front door open, with two people arguing about something, and a high-pitched voice crying out in happiness through the droning of engines.  
She sniffed a little at the thick, black exhaust fumes coming from the SIR and frowned.  
"I don't appreciate the air pollution coming from your SIR's jets," she stated to Zim. "But anyways, bring the Wing here."  
  
At reaching the room the Onyx Wing was in, the conscious three saw a bunch of high-tech-looking equipment, and many more of the same red helmets.  
  
"Ooh! Lots of pretty red hats!!" GIR announced with glee, examining one.  
  
"Yes, they are pretty, aren't they, GIR?" Fausta asked sweetly, patting the green puppy disguised-robot, then turned to the two mortals. "Hey, nice work, you two!"  
  
Zim snorted. "The DIB-Human did nothing, but run away in terror, Wing-beast. I, however, valiantly stood up to the mercenary-beast and--"  
  
Dib stepped forward. "Oh come on, Zim! I did NOT run in TERROR. You didn't need me! And you are just SO over-exaggerating--"  
  
"Alright, alright. I've heard enough. Thanks and congrats to you two, okay??" the Onyx Wing sighed.  
  
Anyhoo, while the three were arguing about this, they didn't notice how GIR was looking back and forth from the Mind Delvers, to them, and thinking about how PRETTIFUL they'd look in the red helmets.  
Too bad for them, huh??  
  
*** In a few seconds...  
  
"Yaaay!! Everybody's wearing the pretty red hats and are all SLEEEEPY!!" the SIR cried happily, looking at the now unconscious Dib, Zim, and Fausta.  
"Hm...!" GIR glanced at the small table in front of him. There were still three pretty red helmets there. He wanted the pretty hats to be worn by people!!  
  
"Fausta, there's some mortal-girl here," came Faust's voice from the living room. "She's looking for some Dib-Human. Fausta, you there, cousin? Ah, whatever."  
  
A violet-haired girl stormed into the room. She wore an ankle-length black dress with long sleeves reaching over her wrists. Her skull pendant shone under the dim, bluish light of the house.  
"Dib! Get up! Dad's taking us out to lunch, and it's your turn to pick." She death-glared her brother when he refused to move, and continued to sleep. "...Dib!! Dib...?" The Human girl noticed the bright little screen in front of everyone's face. Her interest perked up.  
"Some kind of new VR game??"  
  
And... you can guess what she does. Yep, she puts on a helmet too! BAM! She hits the ground right afterwards.  
And still, GIR wants someone to wear another. He runs outside, and sees lone Johnny walking down the street, hands entwined behind his back.  
  
"Hi, nice neighbor guy!" the robot shouted, waving rapidly, holding a Mind Delver.  
  
The thin man looked up to see the lime-green dog. "Hello."  
  
GIR smiled. This neighbor was always so NICE! "Here! Can you wear the pretty red hat??" He held the crimson object up.  
  
Nny glanced at the helmet. "Uh.. Sure, talking-puppy-neighbor." He took the item gently and placed it upon his head to humor the happy doggie, and promptly was knocked out by the Mind Delver.  
He collapsed onto the sidewalk, back-first.  
  
"Yay, only one left now! One for me!!" GIR said joyfully and ran back into the house to claim the last Mind Delver. He liked the nice pictures it made in front of their faces. It was weird they didn't open their eyes to look at them!  
He put the last helmet onto his large, metallic head, and his eyes blacked out.  
  
---------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Okay, this was strange. But, the next chapter or so is going to be sheer insanity! See through the minds of your favorite... or not so very favorite characters! Much strangeness!! Very disturbing as well, to my opinion, anyway. But, it'll be fun to write! It was sure really interesting imagining!  
Mwa hah! I need caffiene, peoples!! Buh byez for now! Skool's tomorrow!! Eek!! 


	10. Horrific DOOM in Dreamland

pureVENOM: Aw man! I forgot to write the moral of the previous chapter AGAIN! Ahem!  
  
The Lesson of the Previous Chapter: DON'T wear any strangers pretty red helmets. It will bring much troubles.  
  
Well, keep reading and reviewing, okayz?? I appreciate it much!  
  
----------------------  
  
Chapter Ten: Horrific DOOM in Dreamland  
  
----------------------  
  
"Max amount of occupants. Mind Delver Program loading. Please wait." These words echoed in the pitch darkness around everyone now in Dreamland.  
Many pairs of angry eyes were turned to Fausta.  
  
The girl flared her wings in anger. "It is NOT my FAULT!! That... that.." The Onyx Wing pointed a gloved finger at Zim's teal-eyed SIR. "GIR ruined everything!! And LOOK AT WHAT HAS BEEN UNLEASHED!!" She then pointed to... KIL!  
  
A girl who looked and dressed exactly the same as Fausta waved energetically back. "HI, ME!"  
  
GIR made loud, blowing sounds with his tiny, pink tongue and looked up around everyone innocently. "HiiiiIIIII~!!!"  
  
Gaz looked very, very unhappy. "Why's this taking so long to load? Where's the game!?!"  
  
Dib scowled and adjusted his glasses. They looked dull and lifeless, because there was no light in this strange-mind-world to reflect off them. "Alright, anyway, everybody." The Human boy glanced at the people about him. "The facts are-- we're trapped in this weirdo dream-world. And we need to find this thing, Excitare, to wake up and get out."  
  
Lilith shifted uncomfortably and shook her head in fury. She knew about the functions of the Mind Delver. "We have to 'WORK TOGETHER' for the while. Excitare is hidden somewhere in ONE of our deep, dark memories, and if that one person is killed, we'll all be trapped in this unconsciousness."  
  
The tall, thin man looked up around him. Darkness and quiet everywhere. No annoying jerks-- well... Besides some of the company here... But that could be taken care of. "That's a bad thing? Look at this place. Sheer isolation and quiet- as long as none of you talk. No garbage- Human, or Human-products. No sea of stars. Just pure nothingness--"  
  
Zim waved a claw, and cut Johnny's words off. "That won't last long. In a few moments, the program will finish loading, and all our long forgotten, subconscious thoughts-- unpredictability, and much horror and DOOM will suddenly appear. All straight from the depths of our minds. All brought before us by this infernal Wingen machine."  
  
GIR opened up his metal head and poked around inside with a hand. "Aww.. I forgot my cupcake and moose!!" His large oculars narrowed and watered up.  
Everyone chose to ignore this. (A/N: They're usually not very nice!)  
  
"Also," Fausta started. "How long do you believe we'll last like this, with out water or food? For you two Humans," she looked at Dib and Nny.  
"You probably have at MOST, little more than a week. Mortal bodies give out so easily, after all."  
The young Wing turned her sepia gaze to Lil. "The Wing Mercenary would live for approximately a week and a half. I myself, an Invader, would last about three weeks with out any eating or drinking, bodily systems, from least important to most, slowly shutting down from lack of precious H2O and nutrition. Sound fun, no??"  
  
Zim snorted. "Pathetic creatures! Requiring that blasted FLUID to survive! Irkens have no need for that 'H2O', or 'WATER' as so many of you like to call it."  
  
Fausta scowled at the alien's mockery at their impending doom. "Oh, and how long would it take for YOU to die, Irken? When your oh-so-important support-pod finally is depleted of energy, and your actual body is left to survive on it's own??? What, about two weeks?"  
  
Zim lowered his head, growling a bit. He adjusted his wig, to find something to do.  
  
Lilith stretched out her steely wings, an intimidating action. "Wing Invader. Won't your overseer see us and free us of this contraption? Or your house's computer?"  
  
The Onyx Wing laughed out loud. "Our computer is specially designed to not be able to do anything on its own. It can only react upon command by a master or mistress. And FAUST!? No WAY. I'm sure he'll move from that spot in the couch for another two MONTHS. Didn't you SEE that stack of Poop-- oh yeah, you were knocked out... Um, anyway, Faust will most definitely NOT help us at all--"  
  
"Loading complete. Enjoy your stay here. Remember to travel with caution and stick together in a group." The computery voice stopped, and the black background was replaced with....  
  
Gaz's eyes widened and sparkled with awe at the sight before her. "This is... Those are... The cows from... the VERY FIRST 'Attack of the Moon Goats' game!!" She stepped forward and examined and admired a very ugly, blocky, pixel-creature that looked vaguely like a goat.  
"This is from a special, limited-edition game on the GameSlaveI!!"  
  
"No kidding," Fausta commented, frowning. (F'sN: I've started typing again. It's Mar.23rd, 2 AM in da morning.)  
  
"Terrible graphics," Dib added, much to Gaz's unhappifulness. He shut himself up.  
  
The GameSlave fanfare suddenly rang out in the distance. It insulted those still using their old GameSlaveI, and questioned: "HAVE WE OFFENDED YOU SOMEHOW!?!? HUH!?!?"  
  
"GAMESLAVEII" Kil shrieked in joy at the familiar voice. "HiiiiIIII, GameSlave-Announcer-guy!!"  
  
Everyone cringed at the squeaky voice and looked at each other, then at Kil.  
  
"OooOOOH!! I am da centre of all'z uh-ten-che-on!! Wheehoo!!" the Fausta-look-alike cried with glee.  
  
Zim groaned and shook his green head as if getting a massive headache, which he probably was. "Can't.... someone DO something about her?"  
  
The Onyx Wing ruffled her stony feathers and said in a hmph-tone. "I've tried using the Mind Delver many-a-times to destroy Kil's mind, freeing me of her. The stupid thing's too tricky--"  
  
"Really??" Lil questioned with disdain, pointing at a now bounded-and-gagged Kil on the ground.  
  
Fausta's countenance fell. She out on a dull expression. "Well, now. Who's gonna move Kil then, around Dream Land?"  
  
"Huh! It's YOUR filthy half of you FILTHY mind, Wing-beast! Why don't you do it yourself!?" Zim shouted in response to her question.  
  
"My mind is NOT filthy!! And Kil and I are the smallest in the group!" Fausta retorted with a growl.  
  
"You are full of LIES, Wing! LIIIIIES!!!" the Irken continued, shrieking.  
  
The Wing Invader flared her wings loudly. "Hah! MY mind is a lot cleaner than all of--"  
  
"I'll do it," Nny said in a nonchalant tone, grabbing an end of a rope. "No one's getting anywhere with all your incessant arguing. Hm. Used to dragging people around anyway."  
  
The three kiddies of the group, not including Gaz, seemed to sweatdrop. The violet-haired girl was busy going 'Ooooh' as she watched the horrible, blocky, pixeled creatures suddenly become smoother, with finer lines and curves, and less cubes. The graphics of the GS2.  
Now capable of 3D movement, the cow-like creatures turned their sights upon the strange party in front of them. They slowly raised their front hooves.  
  
"Ooh! They're gonna use their special, co-op attack!!" the video-gamer exclaimed.  
  
"I suggest we should all hit the dirt," Dib stated blankly, recalling on how violent her games always seemed.  
  
"Inefficient usage of time," the mercenary replied, tossing twin Cherry-Bombs.  
  
The cows were promptly reduced to smoldering steak-like items, used for replenishing depleted hit-points in the game.  
"We burnnnn!" the cow-steaks cried in an eerie, echoing voice, really creeping everyone out.  
  
Gaz nodded with approval of Lilith's tactics with a 'hm'. "How many more of those things do you have?" she asked.  
  
Lil shook her head. "Nine. Not enough. Let's go. NOW."  
  
Kil managed to work her talkative mouth about the gag. "What's de magic wooord??"  
  
"TACOES!!! HEE!!" We can all guess who said that.  
  
Anyway, the group walked and walked. Well, most of them. Kil was dragged and dragged.  
"Whheeee!" she said. "I'za draggy-thing!! I be dragged across the ground and stuff! Woot! Fear me!!"  
  
A talllll shadow crept up at these words. A silhouette with large, unblinking, narrowed eyes. It had a twin. And a small legion of fearsome rat people. They followed the unsuspecting group of not-so-happy allies.  
  
Dib was first to notice the things following them. He turned. Looked. "AHHHHHHHhhHHhH!!!"  
  
"What is it, Dib-Human!?" his cranky rivals snarled, turning.  
  
Zim's crimson eyes widened. "M-m.. THE Tallests!!" The ruby oculars hardened and narrowed to half-lidded, imitating his former-rulers' own.  
  
The Onyx Wing sniffed. "Sheesh. Don't freak, Irken. They're only figments of your puny imagination."  
  
"Oh look, Red. It's Zim. I thought you were dead, tiny thing." The violet-eyed shadow hovered closer to Zim. "Hey, you've grown, short-thing!"  
  
"Ooh. That's nice. Let's all party now! Anyone have curly fries and nachoes??" the red-eyed one continued. "No? Oh, that's toooo BAD."  
  
"Yes," the purple one added. "It's sad. So sad. So very sad. So very, VERY sad."  
  
The twin shadows of colored eyes promptly disappeared. The rats didn't.  
  
"Blorchen rat peoples!!" Zim, Fausta, and Lil gasped.  
  
Dib calmed himself. "Oh come on. They don't even LOOK like people."  
  
"Ooh! Blorchen rats! Hiyaz!!" Kil shouted from the ground, happily.  
  
Nny and Gaz glanced over the rattish troops with slight interest. "Cool."  
  
GIR, who knew nothing of Blorch, except its location, walked up to the monsters.  
  
"NO, GIR!! COME BACK!!" the SIR's master cried, extending a single leg, to sweep up his companion.  
  
Lil tossed a BlackCherryBomb. BCB, for short. (Soundz kewl, no?) It erupted in sight-obstructing smokes!! Yaaay!!  
Everyone ran. Good idea, 'cause the Blorchens were following very quickly.   
  
"Don't...you...have...anymore of.. those explody-cherry-...things??" Dib panted, running as fast as he could.  
  
"Ineffective weapon against Blorchens," the mercenary replied, running at top-speed and not out of breath at all.  
  
"Then...how many of... those smoke-things... do'ya have left...?" Dib continued, exhausted.  
  
"Four." (F'sN: I'm gonna stop for today, I guess. Alrighty! It's tomorrow now! Whee!)  
  
"Isn't that nice to hear, Dib-mortal?" Fausta smirked evilly, flapping beside him.  
  
SLAM! There are many 'ow's and growls after a loud, big crash-noise.  
Everyone's inside a cage. With bars.  
  
"ARGH! What is happening!?" cried an annoyed and annoying, muffled voice. Zim shoved GIR off of the back of his head angrily. He took a single look and paled, his eyes wide.  
  
Dib had a similar expression as he looked about the dingy cell-like place they were all in. Many glowing objects shone dimly a distance away from outside.  
  
Nny brushed his side and got to a crouching position on his feet. The place had a very low ceiling. He noted that the bars around him, as well as the ceiling above moved slightly, as if breathing. Everyone had a painy face on, and were crumpled on the ground about him.  
"Pain. So I'm still alive."  
  
Lil crouched as well, narrowing her creepy, dark eyes and glancing about. "For now anyway. Irken, where are we? You have THAT LOOK."  
  
Zim's eye twitched. "We're in... the horrible, monster-inhabited mind of the Dib-Human! I recognize the creature we're in right now! From his disGUSTing MIIIIND!!!" He pointed an accusing claw at Dib.  
  
"Please shut-up, Zim," Fausta groaned. "We're trapped in a world created by a bunch of SICK minds--"  
  
"Oh, you're one to talk, Fausta," Dib started.  
  
The Onyx Wing attempted to flare her wings, a habit when she was irritated, causing some protests from those around her. "Yes, Dib, I am."  
  
Everyone stopped whatever is was that they were doing at the moment, noticing that the glowing things outside of their prison were rapidly coming closer. It turns out, those glowy lights were eyes! Quite creepiful, it was to all.  
A pair of different-sized jasper eyes blinked, and a slimy gray tentacle reached out and poked at Zim, barely missing his large, lensed eye.  
  
"ARGGHHHH!!" the Irken cried out, indignified and furious.  
  
"Hehehe. It's the weird, green-thing, guys. Remember? From Halloween five years ago??" the jasper-eyed one snickered happily.  
  
GIR giggled maniacally. "Pokey poke poke!!" He imitated the monster, poking Zim's face.  
  
Zim got an extremely unhappy look and growled.  
  
A hissing voice began, "Yeah, I remember them! Yick, the big-head one looks SOOO GROSS!! I can't believe we live in his icky, big, greasy heeeeaad!!" The owner of the voice narrowed emerald eyes in disgust.  
  
GIR giggled some more, now thinking about man-eating squirrels. Heh, a Mysterious Mysteries reference, I believe. (Didn't see the entire episode!! Pity me!!)  
  
Dib snorted. "The feeling's mutual." There was a dark tone to his voice.  
  
The jasper-eyed monster nodded. "Yay! Well, since we're all agreeing, and stuff--" It gave a happy look, then looked at the quiet Nny. "Gee, what a wacky-looking guy! Hehe!"  
  
The dark man's closed eyes shot open and the lids quivered. "Wuh...wu....ack...ee...??"  
  
A violet brow of Gaz's rose slightly, not feeling very comfortable with all this negativity.  
  
*** Meanwhile-- back in the real world  
  
Faust crumpled up the empty can of Classic Poop into a tiny aluminum ball. He needed to stretch. He'd been sitting...all day today. All day yesterday, and the day before yesterday. ...And he was probably going to sit all day tomorrow.  
As the Platinum Wing stood up and turned, he noticed a figure through the window, outside, seemingly asleep or dead, with a Mind Delver on.  
"Aw, sheesh. Has my little cousin been messing around with my equipment again??" Faust frowned.  
  
He stepped outside and headed through the street, not bothering to put on a disguise to hide his large, glimmering wings, or stopping to wait for the car to pass by.  
  
"YOU CRAZY FREAK!!" cried the random car-driver as she swerved sharply in attempt to not-hit the pedestrian. The car slammed violently into some random house up ahead. Lots of pretty red fires popped up.  
  
Faust smiled. He liked fires, and he lived by the rule: 'PEOPLE FIRST'. He quickly reached the person sprawled across the far sidewalk and pressed a few invisible buttons on the Mind Delver, letting it shut off.  
  
The thin man on the ground twitched his arm and hands a bit violently, the word 'wacky' still reverberating in his mind, and his eyes shot open. He shook his head and looked up at Faust. "Hello. Wow. You're tall. Nice color wings, by the way," he added, putting a hand to his chin.  
  
Faust shrugged. "Thanks. I guess I'll be going now, with this." He held up the bright red helmet. "Anyway, I think you should stay away from my little cousin and her friends. They're rather strange. Wouldn't want a nice neighbor like you to get hurt."  
  
"Hm. 'Nice neighbor'. That's an interesting way to put me."  
  
"Oh? Is it?"  
  
"Eh. I guess." Nny got a thoughtful look. "Maybe it isn't. Hm, I never thought about it this way." The man walked off toward his home, debating over whether it was strange for him to be nice to people or not.  
  
Faust flicked the tips of his glimmering, metallic wings and headed back home, wondering where that annoying little student of his was up to. "That dumb girl... Doing those experiments on people again...?"  
  
Reaching inside the softly illuminated living room, the Platinum Wing noticed nothing amiss. He sighed, disliking doing anything besides lounging around drinking sweet, caffienated items. SUGAR!!! ...Um, yeah.  
  
Anyway, he stepped towards the small side/storage chamber, connecting to the living room only to spot his little cousin (Fausta! : D), the Irken soldier he'd seen on TV some time ago (^__~ Zimmy!!), the Human spy-boy (Dibby! ^.^), the polite Steel Wing (Lil! O.o;;;;), and a female stranger (o.O;; Gaz), knocked out, with Mind Delvers.  
Faust's eye twitched a bit in a bothered way, and he switched off the helmets of Gaz and Lil, not wanting any strangers or laborers in the base at the moment.  
  
Lil immediately leapt to her feet, the quick, blind action causing her to topple over roughly over Gaz.  
The purple girl snarled a bit, in protest of the pain and shoved angrily at the Wing Mercenary.  
Lilith's wings stiffened and curled dangerously in fury. The uncalled-for assault had wiped her mind clear of her mission and predicament. She lifted gloved talons, balled up in fists.  
Anyhoo, fortunately, Faust had the house's computer kick the two ladies out with a large suction tube.  
  
The Platinum Wing sighed, shook his head, and walked toward the couch. "I'll let those three enjoy themselves in their disturbing little minds. Eh, Fausta deserves it anyway. And those lousy spies too."  
He began giggling happily to himself, imaging the three getting mauled by Blorchens. Then started laughing loudly envisioning them fleeing in terror of a barking Cerberus. Then, he was cackling madly, clutching his thin stomach, thinking about them getting chased around by an Adamant Wing with a nice rapid-fire cannon.  
Faust collapsed on the couch heavily, and eventually, still snickering with sheer glee.  
  
*** Anyway, back in Dreamland. Whoo!  
  
Dib blinked a few times, taken aback. "H-hey!! Wh-where're Lilith and that creepy neighbor!?" He glanced about frantically, and noticed something else. "Gaz! GAZ!! WHERE'S GA--"  
The Human-mortal was struck full in the face by a black, stony wing. One of the lenses in his glasses cracked a bit as he fell over. Very durable, those things!  
  
"Be silent, mortal. The three are all right. Didn't you notice the static, and how everything glitched up for a few seconds when they disappeared?"  
  
"YEAH, IT WAS SO KEWL!!!" cried a similar voice, from the ground. Heh, you didn't forget dear Kil, did you? "I loooove STATIC! Mwa ha! Staaaaa-TIC!!" Kil wiggled around in the ropes.  
  
Fausta glowered and smacked her mind-counterpart with a wing. "Faust probably took 'em out."  
  
Zim leapt up in shock. "What! And not I!? The great ZIIIM!?!"  
  
Dib frowned. "Yeah, Zim. Accept it! We're all left here to rot!! RoooooOoOOot!!!" (Not 'root'. 'Rot'. Hehe. I smile.)  
  
"You LIE, Human!! Zim shall preVAIL, while others will fall!!" the Irken spat. Aw, he's in denial!  
  
Fausta kicked and lashed out at the bars with her superior Wingen strength, but her attempts to escape only made the jail-monster laugh. "Zim. We. Are. STUCK here. What do you propose we do??"  
  
The alien took on a panicked expression, but quickly forced it away, leaving a stern, miliatarian look. "If we three put our minds together, there is nothing we can't do--!"  
  
Dib gave the Irken a look. "Zim, are you trying to help us outta here, or preach from some moral-support booklet?"  
  
The green one snarled, but was interrupted.  
  
"AwwWwWWww!! Hehehe!! Why'z everyone fiiIiiighting?? I like DOOMing better!!" Kil squealed, oblivious to all.  
  
Everyone sighed.  
  
"That's it. We're dead balogna meats." Dib shook his head.  
  
"Oh, rweeeally?? Why??" the insane girl continued.  
  
Only silence responded to Kil, but that was enough of an answer for her.  
  
"OH! Is THAT it!?" she exclaimed, as if someone had just told her the meaning of life.  
  
Zim narrowed an eye in disdain. "The schizoid-Wing-beast talks to her insane self?"  
  
Fausta paled. "Huh. I guess."  
  
Kil rolled over a bit to get a better view of everyone. They all looked so unhappiful! "Hey! Psst! Hey!"  
  
The three cocked their heads slightly to glance at the schizoid.  
  
"I know what'll make you all feel better!! And all happiful!! And...uh...STUFF! Yeah! Stuff." Kil wiggled a bit more. "Lemme out! OuuuuUuUUt!! I wish for out!! YeeeEEEKKK!!!"  
  
Fausta slashed at the bindings, covering her ears like her two rivals to block out the horrible screeching. "Be quiet, KIL!!" she cried.  
  
The insane one complied, silencing herself, and dug in her coat pockets for somethin'. "Yeah, there it is! A kewl thingie that'll make you all SOOO happy!!"  
  
-----------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Uh, I end this now. My knee itches very much. Oh so very much, but I mustn't scratch. Must let it heal ASAP. I want to waaaalk again!!!  
Strange chapter, yes, but it had to end. And to end, it had to begin. Wah hah. Yes, hate me. ^___^ Wheee!!  
  
Da Lesson o' da Chapter: Uh....ah, sheesh... Urm... You can never have too many miniature explosives. ...Heh, yeah, that'll work. That'll work just fine. Great! It's great! WHAT!? Hey, don't you tell ME to-- 


	11. Lil? Leaving?

pureVENOM: Oh sheesh, I am LAZY!! I won't even work on my fics!! What's WRONG with me!? Argh!  
Marcellus is pronounced with a hard C. Not like this, "mar-sel-oos". Like this, "mar-kel-oos". Whee! I love that name! It's so kewl!  
Short chapter. I'm stopping early. The noises of my family bother me.  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
Chapter Eleven: Lil? Leaving?  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
Lilith sat upon a small knoll in the city park. It was cold, dark, and lonely. Jes the way I like it. Nice, no?  
She was thinking about the little adventure with those weirdoes she had the other day with the Mind Delvers. Yeesh. What a mess it was. Stupid Fausta.  
'Maybe I should just go back to Avis and lie, saying that I destroyed the little monster. They'll believe me, the gullible fools. I've only been working for them so well for so many years,' the Wing Mercenary thought to herself with her usual frown.  
She suddenly stood up.  
'Yeah, who needs that idiot's Onyx medal for evidence?! I'm just gonna go back there, and get my next target. It CAN'T be as annoying as Fausta. Lousy teenage invaders! Those punks should sink into the stinking depths of Styx!'  
Lil wrapped her stola about her shoulders a little tighter, feeling a cool breeze blow by. She wanted to be untouched by the disGUSTing spring air as little as possible.  
  
What a stupid season spring was! The typical, flower-filled, sun-stained, bunny/squirrel/birdy-chirping times that she hated so much. Filled with HAPPINESS. How could those despicible mortals ever be HAPPY, CONTENT with what they had??  
Lowly technology. Hunger. Poverty. Such short life spans. Working below others.  
How sickening, how degrading!! Lilith wondered why.... more people couldn't be like... her.  
  
*** At the Dib-house  
  
We're used to seeing good, ol' Gaz sitting, playing her beloved games, right? Well, it's quite late at night at the moment. Around twelve thirty-five at night to be more exact.  
Let us go and take a peek around the house.  
Ah, Gaz's room. Oh, look! How cyuuute! Gaz is in some cute, skull-covered PJs, lying on across bed, still playing her GSMIV! Naughty girl. It's WAY past her bedtime, but who cares, right?!  
  
And, in Dib's room. Hm... AGH!! *thud!* Crap. There're wires to weird machines like EVERYWHERE on the ground. Hmph. Watch your step, huh?  
Ah, well, the lights in the room burn brightly. And our favorite Human-hero is sprawled across his own bed, eyes half-lidded and bloodshot. He is doing... OMG!! Tedious, redundant, Geometric proofs! Looking about the papers, it seems that each are over fifty steps long, and based on the Pythagorean Theorem. (-_- *shudder*)  
Huh. Too bad Dib's dad's lovely homeworking-completing mechanisms aren't currently working, hm? Well, look on the bright side, Dibby! You've completed about three fourths of Bitters's assignments!  
  
"Burning sacks of balogna..." Dib muttered angrily. Aw, how nice and sane we all seem! "If only that dumb Wing-girl hadn't made us do that stupid Mind-Delvy thing. Mister Bitters wouldn't've made us do all this 'make-up' work. I only hope those two are suffering as much as me."  
  
*** Faust and Fausta's Earthen base-- Fausta's room  
  
Huh. Fausta's still wide awake. Insomnia, maybe? Who knows? She's just lying there, staring at the sea-life-filled ceiling with a non-expressive expression.  
  
Ooh, there's a neat, lil' log on her desk! It's open to a full-page, written in an ink that flows from black to dark-green, her two favorite colors. Yick, what sloppy handwriting. If you can even CALL those scribbles handwriting!  
Let's forget all about the detestable word 'privacy', and take a peek at the most recent page! Ahem!  
  
' Well, the little Mind-Delver plan didn't go as planned, thanks to Zim's defective SIR. Perhaps I should repair it?? ......Nah. Heh. I'm sure it still does more damage to Zim, than to me.  
I've learned that the resulting concoction of mixing our (mine, Zim's, Dib's, Lilith's, GIR's, Gaz's, and Nny's) disturbing sub-conscious minds together is a very strange and deadly one. I plan to do more research on this someday. Maybe I'm a bit un-saner than I had thought. What really surprised me though, as well as my two wonderful rivals, was the fact that my idiot other-self had found the Excitare, while being dragged about on the ground. Sigh. I can't believe it...  
I'll never try some stunt like this again, but that doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying to destroy that horrible Steel Wing. What goes around comes around, no? She tries to kill me, I try to kill her. Heh. And although we've both had plenty of experience in this, it seems that we're both pretty bad at it. Sad, really.  
Huh. The Bitters creature assigned a very large amount of Geometric work to do when we came to take our homeworks from him after skool. It took about an hour for my delightful computers to complete all of it. I wonder if the Dib-mortal will finish in time. Hah, I can't wait to see that overly-large face of his tomorrow.  
Hm. I'm writing quite a bit today, aren't I? ...And just who am I addressing, anyway!? Is writing to one's self a schizophrenic habit? I should look this up. Not that Human research on psychology would probably help me any. Ah, I should go visit Marcellus! He must be so tired, lonely, and positively dying down there, with out anyone to remind him to sleep and eat.  
I'll go after skool tomorrow.  
I was planning to watch this one movie, Zombies and Riverdancing Giants, on PayPerView tonight, but I've decided to try to get to sleep instead. Sigh, it always takes so long. I hear that the zombies were confiscated from the head of the city's security, Slab Wrenkle*. Intriguing. I think I'll investigate this. End. '  
  
(*: Um, I'm not sure how to spell our dear psycho-sercurity-guy's name, but that's what I think.)  
  
*** Whee! Zim's nice, lil' Earthen base!  
  
GIR's still up, apparently. He's enjoying himself on the sofa, staring at the TV as it repeatingly flashes a deep red. Ooh, I LOVE these bloodbath horror movies!! (F'sN: Really, I do. Although, sometimes they give me the creeps and make me a bit sicky in the stomach.)  
The small robot squeals in joy as a strangely familiar army of zombies are blown to icky pieces by soldiery guys. And then a pair of giants come by and start riverdancing atop them. Eew...  
  
Uh, let us leave this disturbing movie, and go down the lab, to see if our favorite Irken-um-hero, is still awake. Er, no, he isn't. He's fallen asleep in front of his computer. Very cute of him, eh? Aw, listen to him snore!! Hehe!!  
  
Well anyway, I wonder what he's been up to when he fell asleep. Oh lookie, a computerized log!! Behold, it says 'log'! And that's all it says... in English anyway. The rest is typed in Irken. Hmph. Well, I shall use my almighty translating skills to translate it! Ahem!!  
  
' That horrendous Wing invader!! Getting me into such a mess with the Bitters, because of that miserable mercenary!! Well, at least it was only increased homework, instead of detention as our punishment. It took a surprising three hours for my computer to solve all those terrible proofs.  
Oh! I TOLD that GIR to lower the volume! Not heighten it!! That infernal zombie-groaning! Ugh, it reminds me of that day four years ago at the mall. Stupid FBI-beasts with their doomy warnings. Argh, I'm starting to get all sicky in my squeedily spooch.  
Invader Zim-- signing off. '  
  
...What? Don't look at me like that! ...No, I translated it fine! I KNOW what I'm DOING!! Yeah, the translation's a bit shorter than the original work, so?? Just by a few dozen lines! Alright, sheesh! I couldn't translate the rest!! Such a truth-pryer!  
  
*** Some hours later.  
  
Ah, the kiddies are going to be out of skool in a half an hour, and our Steel Wing is up and about. She has a small bag of almonds and walnuts. Yum! Nutricious!  
Lil sits on a bench in the park, yet again alone. Some dude tried to sit with her about an hour ago, but then ended up with getting something important for sitting blown off.  
A cute squirrel skitters up to the quiet Lil and does a little I-want-a-nut-dance!  
  
Lil looks up slightly, and her frown slowly turns upside down. She reaches in a pocket.  
"You want food, don't you, small Earth creature? A nut to be more precise?"  
  
The rodent chitters and nods rapidly in reply.  
  
"In that case, I have something much better than that. You could get those foods from anyone in the park, correct?" the Steel Wing continued.  
  
The bushy-tailed animal got an interested look.  
  
Lil pulled a large, shiny, red cherry out and handed it to the little beggar.  
"Here's a lovely cherry, you little rat. Go and chomp into it over there." The Wing pointed to a spot several yards away.  
  
The squirrel nodded, squeaked, and ran off with the cherry.  
  
Lil's grin widened as she stood up and began walking away.  
  
The explosion could be heard from half a mile away. By Tartarus, did she love those little explosives. Hehe, what an amusing little creature it was.  
  
'All right, I've terrorized the creatures of City Center Park enough, I believe,' the Steel Wing thought. 'I guess I should get a ship and head to Avis. Won't those idiots be so incredibly happy as they absorb my false words? Marcellus should have some spares.'  
Lil tossed the now-empty bag into a nearby trash bin, and headed for the secret passageway in one of the hills in the park that led to the Wingen researcher's labs.  
  
*** Some time later.  
  
"Greetings, Marcellus. Have you been wel--" Lilith stopped at seeing the Wing hunched over his books, papers, and keyboard.  
  
He looked positively terrible, just as Fausta had predicted. He was much thinner than before, his sandy hair was even messier, and the dark circles around his eyes had enlarged.  
  
"...hu...Huh....?" The Wing looked up with a frantic expression. His voice was raspy, being un-used for weeks. "Oh, Ferona! Greetings, hi, salve, heus!!! Whatever in the Underworld you wanna call it! How long has it been?? Hm... Two weeks and three days, if my fantastic, memory implants aren't malfunctioning again. Argh, they really make my headmeats hurt at times. Have you ever had brain-worms?? The pain's like that, only approximately 15.538 times worse! Oh--"  
  
"Ah, no I haven't," Lilith interrupted, waving her arms about, knowing that he'd just go rambling on about things if she didn't stop him. The man was highly deprived of socializing, and when he talked, he TALKED.  
"And please don't call me by that name. You know I like 'Lilith' better."  
  
Marcellus rubbed at his left eye, which was dark grey and black, with a golden pupil, like Wing Mercenaries. The result of some caffiene-lacking self-experimentation. His other eye, bloodshot and ringed, was Human/Wing-looking and emerald.  
"Ah, yes. I am sorry about that. So what brings you here, anyway, Lil? Problems with your wings? Are they causing you pain? Oh, or do you need more supplies? I'm always glad to lend a helping--"  
  
Lil shook her head and flicked her claw-like wings. "No, not a supply of the usual, Marcellus. I need a ship to head back to Avis, the galactic Wing Mercenary station."  
  
Marcellus froze for a moment. His dark feathers drooped. "You're leaving??"  
  
Lil nodded. "Yes. Soon after I get a ship."  
  
The Obsidian Wing's constant smile thinned. "There's a nice ship in storage room IVX of this floor. What're you planning to do there, and when will you return?? I hear that at this time of the year, Avis is pretty windy, so be careful as you're landing. Also, I hear a lot of strange things about the leaders, bunches of underground information, you know?? You take care of yourself. Sheesh, you wouldn't bel--"  
  
Lilith paled. "Uh huh. Thanks, Marcellus. You're a great Wing, but you look terrible. Get some rest." She bowed curtly and ran off, not wanting to get caught in a long, uneventful conversation like last time.  
  
The Obsidian Wing rubbed at his eye again. It itched and burned. "Rest," he repeated to himself, letting the definition of the word absorb. He stalked over to a large hammock, and collapsed into it, almost immediately falling asleep.  
  
The sounds of mechanical doors opening, and an engine warming up suddenly filled the lab. Soon, Lil's ship was off past the exosphere.  
  
Marcellus was still sprawled in his hammock, snoozing quietly. (N: Gasp! Such cuteness! Must...draw...!)  
  
"Stop following me, Earthen scum! I tell you, I'm not up to anything!! I'm just going to have a little chat with a friend!"  
  
"Yeah, a friend who's going to help you take over the world!!"  
  
Marcellus awoke, with these two loud voices ringing in his skull. His same old smile was still plastered on his face, but he felt as if he was going to cry! Burst into a sea of tears! It'd been over two eeks since he'd slept, and when he finally got to sleep, someone woke him up! Argh, the pain! The funky pain! (N: OMG, I just love saying that.)  
"Who i-is it???" he croaked out.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Da Lesson of this Chapter: Zim's so CUTE when he's snoring!!  
  
pureVENOM: Gasp! Lil?? LEAVING!? Ah well, no one will miss her. *thud!* AGH!! Alright, I take it back! Sheesh!! And, to make up for it, I'll do some stupid road-trip song for her in the next chapter! More of a space-trip song, though. Huh. 


	12. Wackiness I

pureVENOM: Hehe. And now for a silly, little song to torture Lil while traveling through space. Remember, it's a five month trip from Earth to Avis! Whee!! ^.^  
  
DISCLAIMING: Well, this song is from some PBS Kids show that my little sister is disgustingly addicted to. Jay Jay the Jet Plane, I believe. It's a decent-sounding song to my opinion, and it's was stuck in my mind for a few days after I heard it. (Stuck Tune Syndrome, heh.) I added some more lyrics, but it's not my song. It belongs to whoever owns that show. And is it just me, or do they never roll credits for kiddie-shows??  
  
pureVENOM: ^.~ And now, on with the strangeness!! Hehe. About time for a song-fic-chapter from me, no?? Also, an added bonus: CHEAP FACIAL FEATURES!!! : )  
  
--------------------------  
  
Wackiness I  
  
--------------------------  
  
The Steel Wing Lil stretches her arms and makes herself comfortable in the pilot seat. There is only one other seat in the ship, the passenger seat, which is of course, empty.  
Lil glances out over the black space, and watches the Earth's moon roll by. Avis is a few planets past Irk, but with the great WINGEN technology, it will take a mere five months to get there. Heh. Stew-pid Irkens. Takes THEM six months to get from Irk to Earth. But only five months for a Wi-- *cough!* Okay, okay, I'll stop. I'm pretty sure you got the point.  
  
The Wing begins to check the supplies in the back via computer. "Computer, how long will the rations in storage last me?"  
  
"Approximately seven months," a nice, computerized voice replied. It didn't sound all roboty; it had a smoother, more Human-like feel to the voice.  
  
"How about water?"  
  
"About six months."  
  
"How much fuel?"  
  
"I receive my energy from a PEG."  
  
Lil grimaced and flicked the tips of her knife-like feathers. "That Membrane-Human's invention?"  
  
"No. The Wingen invention of two-hundred and seventeen years. The Perpetual Electricity Generator by current Obsidian Wing, ER (Emergency Researcher) Marcellus."  
  
She breathed a sigh of relief and set the chair to lean back a bit. "Good. Hm, computer. There any hostiles along the way?" : /  
  
"Yes, ah, well, that depends on one's opinion." the computer responded. "The Vortens are quite pestering, and tail stranger-ships for long periods of time, asking them to buy their couches."  
  
Lilith shuddered. "Yeah, I heard." -__-;;  
The Steel Wing stopped, and cast a hungry eye over the storage room door. She wanted something to eat, but didn't want to start using up the rations so soon.  
Lil shook the thought from her head and turned back to the windshield. "So, when will we reach Avis? About five months, right?"  
  
The computer was about to reply, but was cut short by a sharp beep. "INCOMING TRANSMISSION FROM EARTH," it announced.  
  
The left half of the windshield was then covered in a static-looking light, and suddenly was replaced by the faces of....Fausta and Dib!  
  
^.^ "Whee hee~! I thought you'd never ask, Lil!" the Onyx Wing declared happily and held up a hand. "Hold on, I need to speak to someone..."  
  
Dib rose a dark brow, and kept careful eyes upon the people around him.  
  
Fausta fluffed up her black wings. "Presumtuous Dib-mortal!! I SAID I'm NOT doing anything that concerns the fate of your world! Leave now! Why don't you ever believe anything I say!?"  
  
"Because you're an alien monster that wants to destroy Earth, and you're asking this Wing-guy to help you!" he retorted loudly.  
  
She put on a look of disbelief. "I thought you were over THAT problem! You KNOW I'm NOT an alien!! And I'm NOT trying to DESTROY Earth, so I'm NOT asking Marcellus to help me do that!!"  
  
Dib rolled his brown eyes. "Pfft. Whatever."  
  
Fausta half-lidded her own, and turned back to one of the many computers to continue her talk with Lilith. "Anyway, Lil. We all happen to know that that ship you're on is on a one-way-trip to Avis that'll take at least five months, right?? Soooo... I decided to have a bit o' fun with ya!" She smiled sickeningly sweetly; never a good sign.  
  
Lilith paled a few shades.  
  
The teenage Wing began to pace, with that diabolical-villain-look on her face.  
"You see, my buddy Marcellus is letting me use the lil' communicator-thingies to talk to ya! And what kind of trip is complete with out a SONG??"  
  
"I am SO going to kill you when I get back," was Lil's dull statement. -.-;;;  
  
Fausta's grin widened, and it seemed Dib was enjoying this slightly as well.  
  
Marcellus suddenly stepped before the screen, holding a green boy up by the collar. Judging from the obvious skin-color and back pod, it was the young Irken.  
"I'm sorry to interrupt you two young ladies, but I found this Irken snooping about above-ground." : \  
  
"UNHAND ZIM, vile WING!!" the struggling captive cried. His pod fizzled a bit; there was a small Wingen device attached to it, causing the four mech-legs inside to become unusable.  
"This is a dishonoring of the Irken-Wingen Treaty!" Zim continued.  
  
"Well, you started it," Marcellus sniffed indignantly. "You shouldn't be spying on my laboratories, Irken-mortal."  
  
The alien's eyes widened. "NOooO!! Is my MAGNIFiCENT disguise that easy for you Wings to see through!? ARRGH!! WHY MUST THIS BE!?" o_0;  
  
Dib frowned. : ( "Zim, do you HAVE to keep yelling like that??" His poor Human eardrums were becoming sore.  
  
The Irken growled angrily. "YES, I ^HAVE^ TO, STINK-BEAST!!!" (The '^' around 'HAVE' means he said it really loud. Heehee.)  
  
Marcellus dropped the Irken disgustedly. "Please stop your incessant shouting before the increasing pain in my headmeats causes me to destroy you. I haven't killed an Irken in.... two-hundred and eighteen years, the Great W-I (Wingen-Irken) Wars, before the Treaty, and I don't want to do it again." -__o  
  
Zim paled and got up from the cold metal ground. "Yessir."  
  
Fausta sighed loudly. "Okay, can we STOP with the interruptions now??" She looked at Zim and Dib, who both cried out 'what!?', and turned back to Lilith. "Ah, sorry, Steel Wing. Now, about that song..."  
She put on a thoughtful expression. "You want screechingly annoying, or nightmarishly repetitive*??" (*: Whee! Jhonen Film reference!)  
  
Back in the ship, Lil glared hatefully at the screen before her. A 'go ahead; I dare you,' look.  
Bad idea. Fausta wasn't a very merciful person.  
  
"Alrighty then! Nightmarishly repetitive, it is!!" She got a maniacally malicious look. "I heard this on some show GIR was watching while I hung out with him as Kil. And you better not like it, 'cause I'm gonna come by like every day, and bug you with it!! Mwa haha!! And now, to answer that horrible, ageless question!"  
The Onyx Wing cleared her throat and began in a decent singsong voice.  
"You're gonna get there when you get there!  
And have a great time when you do!  
'Cause half the fun of gettin' where you're goin'  
is me torturing you!!" : D  
  
o.O;; Lilith blinked in fear at the first taste of this song. She cracked her knuckles to find something for her nervous self to do.  
  
Fausta nudged Marcellus forward a step with a wing. "Age, Marcelle!! CANTA!!" (C'mon, Marcellus!! SING!!)  
  
Marcellus flushed, but he tried out his voice anyway. ^_o;; It was a nice one. Maybe altered slightly with a bit of morphing.  
"Such annoyingness in your journey!  
Some misfortunes also, too!  
Still, half the fun of gettin' where you're goin'  
is helping to bother you!"  
  
Lilith, "..." -_-;;;;  
  
An onyx-like wing smacked at Dib's big head. "You too, mortal!" Fausta growled.  
  
Dib was reluctant, but didn't see any IMMEDIATE harm in doing this. o_-  
"Er... um..." he began much to Fausta's dislike. His Human brain didn't work as quickly as a Wing's.  
"Lotsa strangers you'll be meeting!  
And lotsa places you will see!  
And half the fun of gettin' where you're goin'  
is that you're not here to kill me!"  
  
: D "We'll just see about THAT, eh, Human!?" Lil cried from the communicator.  
  
Zim stepped forward. He knew it would be his turn, and had been planning out what to say while the others sand their lyrics.  
"I hope crazy weirdoes try to kill you!  
And brain-worms invade your brain!  
And half the fun of gettin' where you're goin'  
is seein' if you get there sane! ...Or as sane as you are right now anyway," the Irken added in a non-singing voice.  
  
Fausta grinned in delight at Zim's delightful lines. She stepped forward and leaned towards the communicator.  
"Well, Lil, I suppose we'll be seeing you soon! Enjoy our lovely singing??" ^____^ She switched off the mechanism before Lil could reply.  
The Onyx Wing had a very satisfied look on her smiling face and she thanked Marcellus and her two rivals with many 'thank you's and mad giggling.  
  
Dib once again rose a brow. "Well, aren't you going to get all kinds of strange Wingen weapons of mass destruction from Marcellus to use in your world-domination plan??"  
  
"Huh??" Fausta looked puzzled. "Nah! I told you I'm not working on trying to take over Earth today, although I really should...hm..."  
  
Dib. o.O;  
  
The Onyx Wing shrugged. "And besides! I got an arsenal of doomful weaponry back at base." ^_^  
  
-.-;;;; Dib again.  
  
"Ah! Well, I feel great! Thanks fer lettin' me use that communication-thingy, Marcellus!" She bowed to her friend curtly. "I guess'll come back later or whatever. Buh bye, everybody!! Wheee!!" : )  
Fausta let her large black wings be absorbed into her back; forming her 'Human disguise', and she sprinted out of the chambers, out into the park, happily. It was very scary.  
  
Marcellus scratched at his head and blinked his ringed eyes. "Huh." He turned to the two remaining people. "So, will you two be staying?"  
  
Dib, knowing Marcellus's liking for talking, shook his large head rapidly, and Zim followed in suit. The Human hurried out of the underground laboratory to run home and get all this new info down on paper and typing.  
Zim, wanted to rush out as well, but had something to take care of first.  
  
"Erm, ER Marcellus, would you be so kind as to remove this device from my support pod??" he asked cautiously, knowing that the Wing wouldn't think thrice about killing him.  
  
The Obsidian Wing shrugged. "Uh, sure. Why not??" He cleared his throat. "IPSC, deactivate."  
  
The little machine beeped once and fell to the ground with a dull thud.  
  
"Whooo!" The Irken fled as quickly as his natur--er... well, as natural as his natural legs are, anyhoo, could take him.  
  
And so, Marcellus is once again alone. He was slightly glad that Fausta would be coming back soon. Then he'd have someone to talk to. Maybe the Irken spy and paranoid Human would be with her too. The more the merrier, after all.  
He sat back into his main computer chair, completely forgetting about the hammock and resting. He began to furiously type and read at the many screens, and became absorbed in his mind-numbing, never-ending work.  
  
-------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Ah, well. A nice, light-hearted chapter, no?? As I read over my fic, I notice that it's not the laugh/giggle/snicker/cackle-out-loud kind of fic that I'd wanted it to be, but more of a delightful sort of carefree story with wacky people. Well, hopefully the readers that I DO have, are enjoying reading this as much as I enjoy writing it, 'cause that would be, well, good.  
Eek!! Me knee's cuts and sticthty-thingies itch like mad!! *cough!!*  
And now, some lil' profiles on new peeps! Er, sorta new anyway.  
  
----------------------  
  
Lilith a.k.a. Ferona (I love that name! I love them both!)  
"I am SO going to kill you when I get back."  
Ah, a Steel Wing. The Mercenary Ranking next to da top! (Adamants are at the top.)  
She's the main force in a SEEEECRET lil' mission of Wingen DOOM that should soon or not-so-soon be uncovered, depending on how lazy I am. She does this mission to become like those that she works for-- Wing Invaders. Immortal. Honored. Famous. All that jazz.  
This Wing is amazingly young for sucha high ranking person. Izzn't that nice??  
Her birthname was Ferona, but she, disliking the name (How could she!? Gasp!), gave herself a name. And that name as you can guess, is 'Lilith'.  
She has a strong contemptment and disdain for non-Wings, and people who don't think of the worlds the way she does. Lil's a pretty dark gal, or that's how I created her anyway. I dunno how readers take to my writing of her.  
  
Marcellus  
"Still, half the fun of gettin' where you're goin' is helping to bother you!"  
Ooh, Marcellus! I like him much!! He's valde (very/exceedingly) kewl.  
Dear Marcellus is an Emergency Researcher, a Wing that stays on a planet secretly, and helps out outer-space travelers in-need. He's got lotsa nifty things and supplies and info and stuff. He's also super-smart and invents and upgrades lotsa mechy-things.  
Oh yeah, he's also an Obsidian Wing, the ranking next to Platinum. Whee!! Fun, no?? Marcellus ith so cyute! He gots big dark rings around his eyes and smiles all the time, regardless of how he feels! I got that from reading the magnificent Jhonen's Fillerbunny! SMILE!! Wah hoo!! *cough!*  
Heh, when one of my friends saw a piccy of Marcellus I did, she was all, 'Wow. He really needs some caffeine.' Or something like that. Wah hah!!  
Marcellus is generally a nice guy, but like all Wings, he has a dark side. Whoo! Scarifulness!! Um, yeah, I think I wrote enough on him.  
  
----------------------  
  
pureVENOM: And now, because I dun feel like ending this chapter jes yet, 'cause it's so freaking short, I will make a strange little, Wing Mercenary ad!  
  
----------------------  
  
Hey, all you RICH people out there with LOTS of STUFF you don't need!  
Have any ENEMIES? RIVALS? Or are you just BORED??  
We, the Wing Mercenaries, the class below you grand Wing Invaders, are at your beck and call!  
THAT'S RIGHT!  
Call us to do your DIRTY WORK!  
We KILL people really SNEAKILY, so YOU don't have to!!  
To assign us, just go to a well-known Wing-conquered planet, and find a Wing of any of the FOLLOWING wing COLORS (Their abbreviations which are engraved on medals about their neck, are placed in parenthesis beside):  
COPPER (CPR)  
BRONZE (BRZ)  
STEEL (STL)  
ADAMANT (ADT)  
Wings of COPPER to STEEL have the LEAST amount of SKILL to the MOST amount of SKILL, respectively.  
HIRE a MERCENARY TODAY! We AWAIT your assignment!  
  
-------------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Hello again, all you anorexic tunafish!! *puzzled look* Hm?? Oh, you're not...?? Uh... hm...  
ANYHOO, hope you enjoyed all this! There won't be a Lesson o' da Chapter, since this really WASN'T a chapter to the story. A chapter to the FIC, yes, bit not to the STORY. But I suppose a nice lesson would be: Fausta is an evil, merciless girl who likes to sing. BEWARE.  
Heh. Well, like the ad above?? Well, then, what're you waiting for!? Hire a Wing Mercenary!! They need to make a decent living, you know!! What!? Have they OFFENDED you somehow, or what!? *cough.* Um, yeah. Bye, my readerz!! 


	13. Greetings, Invader!

pureVENOM: Hello, any readers that are reading this~! Sigh, my chapter *sniff*, as well as ALL my other saved works on the compy, were completely erased... I gotta write 'em over again. Arrrrghhh.... So much bad luckiness to me lately... My leg, my grades, my Shadow Hearts game, the computer... Sheesh... Well, enough complaining from me!! On with da fic!  
I'm cutting some stuff short now, 'cause I hate rewriting things.  
-----------------------  
  
Chapter Thirteen: Greetings, Invader!  
  
----------------------  
  
Ahh... It's a lovely, crisp, 4:00 AM night out. The moon is a shining, silver smile, and the stars are twinkling wannabe diamonds. Our beloved nice neighbor Johnny peers out from his massive front door and admires the clear, pure sky.  
This sky gives him a sort of contemplating mood, and the thin man begins to reminisce about his neighbors saying that he was quote "nice." He wants to try to live up to this title he has, and so, goes back inside his home to prepare some things.... Like party invitations! He was going to invite the loud green kid, the big-head kid, the mop-hair girl, the tall wing-guy, and the lil robot/puppy.  
  
*** some hours later at hi skool  
  
As the day comes by, it seems clouds are appearing and gathering.  
Beneath these grayish masses of water vapor, a large-headed boy is running about the skool grounds with a pine-soap-scented water pistol, searching for someone.  
  
"Cuuuurse you, Diiib!!!" Zim cried as his Human rival passed below his tree hiding spot. "D'oh!!" the Irken cried as he realized he just gave away his position.  
  
Dib grinned as he spotted the idiotic Irken, but a thought crossed his mind. Fausta was always the first to reach skool, and there were only a few minutes left 'til the bell rang, and she still wasn't there. Oh well.  
  
SHHHHHHHHHHHSSSSHHHHH!!! "AHHHHHHHHhhhhHhhHH!!!"  
  
Ah, the music to the ears of our dear Dib. "Mm, the pine-scented smell of VICtory, Zim!! You smell it!?" the Dib taunted happily.  
  
Zim could really only smell his hissing burnt flesh, but he growled out a reply: "Pine-scent vic-tor-ee THIS, HUman!!" And the Irken brought out a comically large bucket of piney-scented dishwashing soap from his pant's pocket, that could never really fit in real-life, and poured it onto the Human below.  
  
"HAH! This soap doesn't hurt ME, Zim!!" Dib shouted in response. It was tear-free dishwashing soap! Um, hehe.  
  
Zim frowned. There were so many poisonous substances in the soap, he saw in the ingredients. STUpid Human poisons!! They didn't even poison right!! Hm. They must only work when ingested.  
"Um..... SO??" he questioned.  
  
"Hmph. Anyway, you know, Zim, I think it's going to rain today. And that soap-soaking I just gave you must've washed off all your precious PASTE armor." Dib pocketed the watery weapon.  
  
Before anymore havoc could ensue, the skool bell rang. Time to head for first period!  
  
*** At Faust and Fausta's Earthern base  
  
The Onyx Wings eyes slowly opened. "Oyy...." she groaned unhappily. "I've never been so...so......TIRED before..."  
She sat up and rubbed at her itchy still-sleepy eyes. "Computer, what time is it, and what's wrong with me?? Have I caught some Wingen ailment?"  
  
The screen and panels nearby flickered to life with a few beeps. "Negative, and it is.... Oh..... OH HOLY STYX!!"  
  
The Oynx Wing jerk upwards and hopped clumsily out of bed, now almost fully awake. "What!? What is it, Compy!?"  
  
"It's time for skool, mistress!!" it cried.  
  
Fausta got that silent, dull, annoyed look. Then, "WHAT!? Why didn't you wake me!? Why didn't I wake me!?! I NEVER oversleep!! It's against Wingen nature!! On man, this is SO wrong!! Do I have the BRAIN WORMS or something!?!?"  
  
"Again, there is nothing physically wrong with you, mistress."  
  
She glared angrily at the soft silvery screen. "What, are you saying I'm insane then!?"  
  
"Oh please, we all know you're schizophreni--"  
  
"Shut-up!! I KNOW that, but this is ....WEIRD!!" She hurriedly ran a hand through her mop of dark hair a couple times, and shoved on a nifty silver trench that was close by, not noticing the bladed wings that tore smoothly through the thin material. She snatched her backpack and didn't bother to wash up, since she hadn't eaten anything the past two days, and her face and fang-like teeth were perfectly clean. Yes, PERFECTLY!! Mwa haha--cough.  
"Aw, by Hades!! How do I get all the way to skool in a Humanly fashion!? The bus is LONG gone, and it'll take far too much time to WALK!"  
  
The computer beeped lowly, a sort of digital shrug. "When in doubt, use catapult."  
  
Fausta furrowed her brows angrily. "I'm SERIOUS."  
  
"Well, there's also always cannon. But it's more painful. Either way, you'll probably seriously consider these choices soon, knowing that Mister Bitters shall take roll soon, and the master is NOT going to drive you there." The computer beeped and blooped loudly in amusement.  
  
"Sigh..."  
  
*** At hi skool- the Bitters room  
  
Zim now noticed the missing Fausta. Not a good thing, he decided. Very not a good thing. Think of the world domineering stuffs she could do in this time!! Argh!  
  
Sara, who sat behind Dib sniffed a bit and feigned a grimace. "SOMEone smells foresty-fresh today."  
  
Some students snickered while Dib groaned.  
  
"Zim, you're here today, as usual. Blast you, and your filthy ...good studentness-person." Mister Bitters growled, checking off the 'DOOM' box on the roll sheet.  
He looked up at Fausta's empty seat, and to the roll sheet and grinned. He was just about to check the....  
  
CRASH SMASSSHHH "ARGH!!! OW! ERGH!!" CRACK!!!! Aren't the sounds of a winged girl slamming through the skool roof and plummeting painfully into her now-wreck desk, just lovely??  
Squeezing a brown eye closed in unhappinfulness, she growled out a greeting to the instructor.  
  
"Hm..." The Bitters frowned and checked off the 'DOOM' choice as well. "It seems you have come to join your literally doomed classmates today, young man?"  
  
Fausta winced again, and made a mental note to correct her teachers' student sheets. "Um, yessir."  
  
Dib, who had been gaping the entire time at the Wing, finally found his voice. "LOOK EVERYONE!!! PROOF! RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES!!! She has WINGS!!! Attatched to her back!! Flappy flappy thingies to FLY!! An ALIEN!!! ARGH!! LOOK AT THE ALIEN!!"  
  
A few students looked at Zim, then turned to ranting Dib, then the plastered-covered Wing. They gasped.  
  
Fausta cursed her stupidity at forgetting about her un-Human appearance, and paled several shades, realizing the feathery appendages wouldn't retract.  
  
"Oh yes." Mister Bitters looked only semi-interested. "What with your new look today, Fausta?"  
  
Dib staggered forward, tripping on some former-ceiling beams, and glared at the teacher with pleading eyes. "Mister Bitters!! You're an intelligent being! TELL ME, you realize that Fausta is an alien!!"   
The Wing frowned. "I'm NOT an alien!!"  
  
"Of course I believe Fausta's an alien," the Bitters shrugged. "I'm not blind," he stated, rubbing his spectacles vigorously. He took the glass piece off, blinked a few times, rubbed them again, and put them back on.  
  
Fausta flared her wings. "But I'm NOT--"  
  
"Then WHAT," the scary instructor growled, "do you propose you are??"  
  
The Wing managed an unconvincing, shaky, casual smile. "A normal Human minor, sir!"  
  
Dib grinned, seeing the disbelieving looks on everyone. "I don't think so."  
  
Even Zim was intrigued by what was happening. The green one wondered what the stupid schizoid-beast was DOING. Even these dumb Human worm-stinks could tell she wasn't one of them.  
  
"Then why are there WINGS growing out of your back, huh??" Sara questioned, angry about losing her seat in front of the class, close to the door.  
  
"Yes, Fausta. WHY??" Dib added, enjoying this.  
  
"I uh, have a p-perfectly normal explanation f-for that!!" she stammered, suddenly afraid. There was no telling what could happen with the Dib-mortal and a bunch of Human allies here, knowing she wasn't Human. Horrible experiments and dissecty stuff flashed through her mind.  
"It's a um... back... ailment...no, an...illness!.....Erm, problem...?" -.^;;;;;;  
  
Dib's victorious smirk widened.  
  
"No.. wait... it's um, a condition....??"  
She stopped as some faces lighted up in that 'oh' look. She grinned evilly at the now nervous Dib. "Yes, it's a CONDITION! IT's a BACK CONDITION, ALL!!!! AHHAHAHA!!!! BEHOLD!!!"  
  
The Bitters frowned. "Okay, whatever. Fausta, go to your totaled seat of doom, before I think of some torturous punishment."  
  
"Yessir! Whee!!" she replied, complying.  
  
Dib's brows slanted down and his eyes narrowed. "Mister Bit--"  
  
"You TOO, Dib."  
  
The Human sighed and obeyed.  
  
Zim extended a single mech-leg to poke the still-pale Wing in the shoulder. "What are you up to, schizoid-beast?"  
  
"Nothing, you green-scum!" she hissed back, moodily, rubbing her aching head.  
  
The Irken smiled, baring dull yellow teeth. "Heh. I see you're feeling the same way I did the first day I encountered the Dib-Human."  
  
"Ah, he did the very same thing?" she questioned with a scowl, and opening her binder.  
  
The Irken nodded smugly. "You even used my magNIFicent excuse."  
  
She narrowed her dark eyes. "A 'BACK condition'?"  
  
"Well, mine was a 'skin condition,' " he corrected.  
  
"Hm. If this morphing problem persists perhaps I could get some Earthenoid-evading advice from you," she continued.  
  
The green one's smugness got even smuggier.  
  
"Haha. What an amusing thought. Don't count on it, Irken-mortal," Fausta added, flicking her wing tips in disdain.  
  
A growl from the Irken.  
  
There was a sharp crackling from the classroom-speaker. There was about to be an announcement. Everyone perked their ears up to listen attentively. Perhaps it was some good news?? Although not likely.  
  
"Crackle, crackle... Mmm, um... Is this thing on?? This is the Hi Skool Principal speaking. Anyhoo, my psychic told me there's going to be some major storm today, and that all the rooms except for Bitters and the cafeteria are going to be flooded in eleven inches of H2O!! So, I order everyone to go into either one of those rooms right now, to avoid water stains on clothes and suing."  
  
Zim's pupils contracted to terrified lavender pinpoints. Fausta growled about her shoes would get soaked, and how she should've put on boots instead. Dib was almost bursting with joy. He frowned about the fact that he didn't believe in psychics.  
  
"Water doesn't stain clothes," Dib frowned, wiping some slimey, piney dishwashing soap from his hair.  
  
"And it isn't going to rain today," Fausta added, gesturing to the azure sky beyond the window.  
  
There was a nearly inaudiable plink as a single small water droplet hit the glass. Then another, and another.  
  
The Wing scowled. "Well, it's not going to rain so much that it would FLOOD the skool. I mean, that's just STUP--"  
  
CRAAAACK!!! A crack of thunder accompanied by several bolts of menacing lightning rung out. It was also suddenly a lot darker. Suddenly, it seemed as if   
  
"What!? But it was such a nice day out! This is absurd!" Fausta protested heatedly.  
  
"Oh shut-up with your craazy babbling, craaazy-girl," Sara growled, covering her ears.  
A few students growled in agreement.  
  
The Wing hunched down in dejection.  
  
Dib frowned. "What I wanna know is HOW does the rest of the skool flood when this room and the cafeteria doesn't??"  
  
The two non-Humans shrugged. Zim was now a pale, pasty green. It's a very gross color.  
  
*** A few minutes later  
  
Mister Bitters seemed to be asleep or SOMETHING. That sort of shut down thing his little sister does every now and then.  
  
The class Irken was a quivering green leaf now, and the squall was becoming even worse.  
  
Dib glanced toward the windows, water streaming down the glassy panes in an incessant flood. "The skool MUST be flooded by NOW," he thought aloud. "So why is this classroom so dry...?"  
  
"Well, why not see?" The Wing quietly got up and carefully opened the class door. As she peered through, a disbelieving expression overcame her features.  
  
"What is it...?" Zim inquired, tilting his head a bit.  
  
The Wing scowled, stalked back to the two boys, and half-dragged them to the door.  
"Look out there, and tell me you believe it!" she ordered.  
  
They complied hesitantly. The water line, some eleven inches above skool ground, quivered outside the door of Bitters, as if some invisible forcefield held it back from gushing into the room.  
  
Fausta was ranting. "What!? WHAT?? WHAT is THAT?? Huh, huh?? No HUMAN technology can do this! There're no SuperNaturals or magick-wielders around! There's no Irken, no Wingen technologies about eith--"  
  
"Oh, shut-up," Dib growled. "It's what's happening. Just accept it. ...Wait, what do YOU know about magi--"  
  
The Wing shook her head. "I will certainly NOT! I live by science, and THAT dun seem very logical to meeeee!!"  
  
"What in the Irken Empire is wrong with you? You're so ....more schizo-y than normal!" Zim commented.  
  
Fausta opened her fang-filled mouth and rose a finger to protest, but the end-of-period bell suddenly rang.  
  
The unconscious instructor immediately shot to life and growled out, "All right, kiddies. The skool's temporarily flooded, so you'll have to stay in HERE for the rest of the skool DAY."  
  
There were unhappy groans from all! ^.^  
  
The Bitters continued, "But I only teach Geometry, so you're all on your own to learn."  
  
"YAAAAAAAYYYYYYY!!!!" could be heard all throughout the skool for several long moments.  
  
"What, so we're stuck here doing nothing for like, five and a half hours??" Dib wondered, with a delighted, dazed look.  
  
"I guess, eh, mortal?" Fausta responded.  
  
The three headed back to their seats slowly, taking their time.  
  
"So, uh," the Wing started, trying to begin a conversation to span this five and a half hours of idleness. "I noticed a new scent on you, Human, and several new water-induced burns on you, Irken. What happened while I was um.... on my way to skool?"  
  
The two glared at each other.  
  
"A MInor soap and water battle, Wing-beast. Nuuuuh-thing to set your in FERior mind upon," the Irken said dismissively.  
  
Dib snorted. "And what's with that crashing through the roof act? Meet up with that 'horrible death-bee' again or something?? And you're not disguised as a Human. What's with that too?"  
  
Fausta scowled at the Human's tone. "Actually, no, but I dun really wanna get into that."  
  
"Whatever." The Dib shrugged his coated shoulders.  
  
"So, why don't we superior three of the world humor each other these long skool hours?" Zim asked, forgetting about the water.  
  
Fausta shrugged unenthusiastically, slumped on her desk. "What do you have in mind, Irken?"  
The girl had no idea the next brief hour would be one of the most happiest of her life.  
  
"Well," Zim continued, "how about our lives' stories?" He grinned, showing his Irken teeth. "Ah, I remember the time I saved the Earth from perfect DOOM, well!"  
  
Dib frowned, not believeing this. "Oh, come ON! We ALL know you plot out the destruction of the world, Zim!"  
  
"No, wait," Fausta interrupted. "Let him continue."  
  
Zim put on a smug expression as usual. "I TRIED to warn that steeew-pid Dib-Human, but he refused to believe my almighty truth! So, GIR and I used our Voot Cruiser to fend off the targeted Earth from the fierce, but not-as-fierce-as-Zim PLANET JACKERS."  
  
The Wing was intrigued. "Ooh! Planet Jackers!!" Who wouldn't be interested in a story about fighting off a race that destroyed entire planets at a time, burning trillions upon trillions of lives, with them.  
  
Dib was just confused. The poor, uninformed, ignorant Human. Sigh. Alas! Tsk, tsk, tsk, and et cetera. Yeah. Confused. Soooo, he just said what he could in this conversation.  
"Wasn't that the time you burst through my front door, and I threw stuff at your head and chased you off, after you went ranting about needing my help??"  
  
"Oh?" was Fausta's response to this. It seemed a nice little bout of rivalry was warming up.  
  
"Yes, Diiii-buh." Zim rolled his lensed eyes. "But I wouldn't be so boastful if I were you. I'VE saved your miserable planet to meet its doom at MY aMAZing hands, MANY, many, MANY more times than YOU, you self-announced Earth-defender."  
  
Dib snorted indignantly. "Oh please. I've been a secret agent defender of Earth since before you ever REACHed Earth, Zim." He glared dangerously at the Irken. "You don't know anything. I mean, come ON. That time you used the Temporal Object Replacement Unit--"  
  
Fausta's eyes widened considerably. "WHAT!? That Irken was STUPID, MORONIC, IDIOTIC, FOOLISH...." This list went on for a while. You'd think she'd memorized the thesaurus.  
"....enough to ALTER TIME???"  
  
The Human nodded. The Irken looked as if he'd been stabbed, and he were trying to hold his pain.  
  
"Yeah, and he actually killed me, but my dad brought me back with some freaky robot technology. I was THIS CLOSE to smashing that evil little alien!!" He held his fingers a hundredth of a millimeter away from each other.  
  
Zim feigned a confident snort. "Huh! That comes nowhere NEAR the time I used nano-technology to destroy the Human's brain! Hahaha!! I had the worm-baby hopping around like the dull-witted Guhsqueedasplorch*!! Lazered that arm-control nerve in his belly as crispy as the DISGUSTing Human fried-bird-DIRT he eats! Wah hahaha!!"  
  
*I really dun think I spelled this right. The creature Zim mentioned from 'Abducted'.  
  
"Wait. Do Humans HAVE an arm-control nerve in their bellies?" Fausta wondered.  
  
"I don't THINK they do," Dib replied.  
  
"Of COUUURSE they have arm-control nerves in their bellies!! Where ELSE would they be??" Zim responded.  
  
"Well, he DOES have a point there," The Wing stated.  
  
"Whatever. Anyway, that little stunt winded his nano-ship and him, totaled and down the sewers." Dib smirked evilly.  
  
Fausta caught this look. "NOOOO..." she said, delighted, shocked, and disgusted by the Human's maliciousness all at the same time. "You DIDN'T!!!"  
  
The unwavering smirk on Dib's visage said otherwise.  
The Wing began to laugh hysterically, covering her near-mouth-splitting grin with her gloved hands.  
  
Zim, however, seemed less than amused. "Fool Earthenoids! That trifle is NOTHING compared to the time I foiled your plot of destroying my mighty base and captured you, the time I sent you and the rest of the Bitters's class into a wormhole, the time I had you caged with the monkey for days, AND when I transformed you into the bologna that you are deep down inside!!"  
  
"Wow." Fausta looked semi-impressed. "Tampering with wormholes and Earth creatures??"  
  
Dib shook his head. "FOUR things, Zim! One- my LITTLE SISTER got me out of your stupid space...-thing. TWO- I RESCUED Bitters's class--"  
  
"A foolish move," the Irken commented, interrupting.  
  
"Yeah, well..." Dib glared at his alien rival. "That's not the point!! THREE- I ESCAPED from your cruddy cage. And FOUR- I turned YOU into bologna as well! Hah! I can still remember you screaming 'I'm bliiiiind!!' when the bologna meats were beginning to fuse with your eyes!"  
  
Zim growled. "In any case, Human! When's the last time you even came CLOSE to destroying ME, the supERior being!? Is it only ZIM who excells in warfare!? HAH! My MegaDoomer would've doomed you GOOD if only this PITiFUL planet had a decent power source!!"  
  
Dib snorted dismissively. "Whatever! That this was just STUPID! It couldn't even cloak you or the power cord! And the very next day, was that wonderful lice incident!" He began to laugh evilly.  
  
"Huh?" Fausta asked. "I'm sorry, but my knowledge of Earth isn't PERfect, so, um... what're lice?"  
  
"Ugh!! Horrible, disGUSTing little .....BUUUGS...!!! In FILTHY Human HAIIIRR....!!" Zim answered for Dib.  
  
"Eww. Soundz weird!" Fausta commented, giggling.  
  
"AND," Zim continued. "If it wasn't for my great, superior skin, you and the rest of your sad, sad world would have been DOOMed by that Lice Queen!!"  
  
"Wow, I had no idea Zim's saved Earth so many times!" the Wing exclaimed. "It almost makes me guilty that I'm going to conquer it after all his hard work!"  
  
Ah. And so approximately an hour passed, Zim and Dib trying to out-talk the other with their past adventures, and Fausta listening attentively.  
  
*** And so, after an hour of Dib's and Zim's storytelling  
  
The hour ended with very high negative sentiments between the Human and Irken. The Wing, however, was all too happy and cackly.  
  
"Grrrr..." The Dib-Human spun away from the Irken, and the Irken did likewise as well.  
"So, what about you, Fausta? Any wacky stories for us to hear that we don't already know?"  
  
The Wing shrugged. "Ah, I've lived a pretty dull life. Created in the Underworld, shipped off to some insanely strict training center in Avis, then after I turned fourteen, was sent over here." She sighed. "Ta da! My life story."  
  
Dib and Zim exchanged odd glances.  
  
"Well, then what do you know about the supernatural and stuff?" Dib questioned further. "You DID mention it earlier."  
  
"Oh yeah," she replied. "Well, the Great Sir Marcellus did extensive research on ghosts and poltergeists in the Underworld some hundred years ago. And he made lots of nifty anti-spook equipment."  
  
"Psh. Could've used something like that when Zim and I were trapped in my head," Dib commented.  
  
Suddenly, the soft yellow classroom lights began to flicker and turned a deep red.  
  
"U.F.O. ALERT, U.F.O. ALERT," began to repeat in an annoyingly cheap computerized voice, over and over again, while the crimson lights flashed.  
The chalkboard disappeared to reveal a complex-looking computer panel, and Mister Bitters immediately went to attend to it, an actual nervous expression across his decrepit face.  
  
"UFOes!?" Dib cried, flinging himself towards the window.  
The entire room was now quivering violently; something large was coming fast. The rains were not lightening up any either. Yeesh~!!  
  
"What's going on?!?" Zim demanded shakily. The Irken leapt up reluctantly to the window as well.  
  
Fausta, intrigued, followed in suit just in time to see a large ship slam forcefully into the field outside. "Who is it, guys??" she asked, squeezing herself between the two to get a good view. The rains made it hard to see, but the three could make out an Irken figure climbing out of his or her ship.  
  
------------------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Whew. That only took forever to write. Ah, very nice time to finish as well, since the new episodes 'MegaDoomer' and 'Lice' were just on! Ah, the loveliness!! The Countess is SO kewl! And Tenn!! OMG!! Poor Ms. Bitters!! Poor Invader Tenn!!  
  
A QUESTION FOR DA READER:  
Say, it was originally going to be Invader Scoodge that appears next, but now I'm stuck between him and the unfortunate Invader Tenn. Should it be Invader Tenn or Invader Scoodge who emerges from that ship?? Either way, the other will appear later on, but whatever!  
  
LESSON OF THIS CHAPTER:  
If your principal SAYS the skool's gonna flood eleven inches, then dog-gone-it! It's GONNA FLOOD ELEVEN INCHES!!  
  
Whee!! Bye bye!! 


	14. Meeting of Irkens

pureVENOM: Ooh! 'Tales from the Crypt' is on!! *sniff!* Used to watch 'TftC', 'X-Files', and 'Poltergeist' with my ol' man all da time! Ah, old memories. Heh, I guess I'll watch it with 'im now then! Fic shall be postponed. Pleez wait...  
Okay, I'm back!  
-----------------  
  
Chapter Fourteen (right??): Meeting of Irkens  
  
--------------------  
  
The rival trio watched with fascination as the lone Irken figure stalked forward from the alien craft. It took long, smooth, confident strides, under the pouring storm. Waiitt.... Storm... water... Irken...  
  
"OH SWEET IRK~!!! BY THE EMPIRE!! BY THE COSMOS!!! BY THE-- AHHhHHHHhHHH~!!! *ZIIIIIIIIIIM*, WHERE EVER YOU ARE ON THIS DIRT-BALL, I'LL KILL YOOUUUUUU~!!!!" The voice was high, and clearly female. A furious female. She went zooming about the watery fields, and eventually stopped under the roofed skool entry, out of the sight of the three.  
  
(* around the word means it was screamed very, very loudly.)  
  
-.o;; Was the trio's expression.  
Fausta nudged the Irken beside her, roughly in the shoulder. "Who's THAT?? She seems to be quite the happy lil' gal when it comes to you."  
  
Dib was rapidly snapping off photos of the ship in the darkness, hoping the pictures would look alright, being taken in the bright classroom.  
  
"Wazzat ship, huh, Irken-mortal?? A Runner, or Carrier, or something??" Fausta continued to pester the thinking Zim.  
  
"Wing-FOOL!! It's a CRUISER!! A Voot CRUISER!! Don't you know your alien allies' crafts by now??" Zim growled, his antennae flattening under his wig.  
  
"Sheesh," the Wing commented. "You don't have to snap," she remarked, baring the fangs at the corner of her mouth in slight dejection. "And besides, why would I even want to BOTHER learning about your kind's desPICABLE vehicles?? They're so... LAME."  
  
"What!? LIES!! They are NOT!!"  
  
"Huh! They can BARELY break the light-barrier, and they don't have soda-machines!"  
  
"That is beca... because they have much BETTER mechanisms than SOOODA machines!!"  
  
*** Hi-Skool entrance  
  
Tenn, INVADER Tenn shivered violently, from the burning pain of the cold rains. Her crimson eyes twitched spasmically and her antennae were plastered to her green head from the dreadful water.  
"Oww...."  
The Invader poked gingerly at her hissing arm. She could smell burnt flesh through her pinkish uniform, and it sickened her.  
"This pl-planet's defenses are... much more ...DISTURBING than I'd expected..."  
A wave of agony hit her, and she fell, twitching to the ground screaming a bit.  
"I AM SO DOOOOOOMMMED!!!"  
Invader Tenn promptly stood up, activated her mech-fliers to avoid the water-covered ground, and brushed herself off, ignoring the stings.  
"Okay!! Now, to continue my DOOMful business."  
  
The Invader glanced at a skool police guard at the skool entry. He returned the glance with a weirded-out expression.  
  
Tenn saluted. "Greetings, ...Earthen-monster! Do... you... speak... this... language... that... I... am... speaking...?" she asked slowly, as if speaking to an idiot, which she probably was.  
  
The policeman frowned. "Um...uh... erm... yeah! I believe so, little lady! Say, isn't it a FEW months too early for Halloween, young lady??"  
  
The Invader squinted an eye. "Tell me, what IS this 'Hall-o-ween'??"  
  
The policeman shook his head. "Aw, quit pullin' mah leg! Go out and play in the rain or something! And stop that bloodcurdling screaming, you hear? Noise pollution, you know, little miss!"  
  
Tenn was confused. The Earth-creature continuously remarked about her inferior height, he mocked her cries of pain, told her to 'go play' in that dreaded acid of the sky, and told her to stop doing something that she WASN'T doing!  
The Invader scowled. "Earthen, just answer this one question, then. Do you know a short guy named Zim?"  
  
The policeman thought about this for a while. "Ummm.... Oh, ye--un, no... Wait... Argh.. Yepperz!! He's inside this building, in Mister Bitters's classroom!!" (No, I don't know how he knows this. I'm scared too!!)  
  
The Invader smiled thinly; it hurt her peeling lips. "Thank you, kind Earth-monster. What are you called?"  
  
"Called??" The policeman scratched his capped head slowly. "Erm... Oh, yeah! Bob."  
  
"Bob?"  
  
"Yeah, Bob. Just call me Bob."  
  
Tenn nodded. "Uh huh... Well, uh, 'Bob', could you by chance, let me into this closed facility??" The Invader struggled at the locked doors to emphasize.  
  
"Uhh, no-can-do, young miss." The policeman shook his head. "You gotta go talk to the office-workers 'bout that--"  
  
Tenn sighed and used her mech-legs to weld a nice square into the doors. She was hoping that the Human would just open them, and save her some power, though. "WAH ahahahaa!!!" she cackled, fleeing into the skool hallway, searching for the room marked 'Bitters'.  
  
Bob frowned. "Aw, dog-gone-it... Another one..."  
  
*** in the hallway   
  
Invader Tenn moved slower now, and absorbed her strange new surroundings, just like the perfect soldier she was.  
Paper and bright scraps of wrappings of sorts littered the ground, and things like 'I was here a while ago,' and 'Dib-freak's head is big,' were scratched into the walls and lockers.  
  
Finally, the soldier came across her destination. Her crimson eyes narrowed. "I've FINALLY got you now, Zim..."  
  
SLWAPP!!!  
  
"ARRGH!!"  
  
"Whoa! Is that another Irken??" Fausta thought aloud, peering through the door she just flung open, hitting Tenn full across the face. She noticed the soldier's anger. "Eep!!" And ran back inside.  
  
Now in the ...'safety' of the classroom, the Wing pointed at the door. "Irken! It's an Irken soldier! And she's REALLY mad, Zim!"  
  
Zim scowled. "So WHAT!? I don't care! I don't even know who it is!"  
  
Tenn burst through the door. She was a floating mess-- her dulled uniform was dirty and torn. Her once smooth green skin was covered in sizzly burns. Her antennae and eyes twitched unnervingly.  
The soldier glanced at the ground, and seeing that it was dry, deactivated her mech-fliers.  
  
Dib snapped a few dozen pictures of her all the while. He was still shooting, when Tenn looked at the boy with a raised un-brow.  
  
"...Could you... stop that, ...Earthen-monster? ...It's rather annoying..." she frowned.  
  
"Umm.... No." And Dib continued to snap off pictures. He has A LOT of space in that digital camera of his, to go!  
  
: o "Oh...?" Tenn whipped out a lazer and blasted the Human to the other side of the classroom.   
  
He turned all crispy black as his nifty coat, and his camera was totaled.  
  
"ALRIGHT! NOW, WHO SLAMMED THAT DOOR INTO MY FACE!?" Tenn shrieked, her patience completely lost and gone.  
  
Fausta was wide-eyed and silent. She quickly jerked a pointing finger to Zim. O.O;;;  
  
Zim was completely clueless, and looked from Tenn to Dib, saying, "What?" Finally, as Tenn stomped closer to him, he saw his Wingen rival. "WHAT!? Heeeey, HEEE--"  
  
The two Irkens were suddenly locked in a fierce battle, stirring up a large cloud of dust with their rough kicks and punches.  
Through the fight, Zim managed to choke out some words-- "What's..WRONG...with...you!?!"  
  
Tenn's hate-filled eyes narrowed further. She immediately stopped the fight, her left foot squishing on Zim's battered cheek.  
"Hahahaaha!!! He asks me 'what's wrong'!!! HAHAHAHA!!!" she cackled. "Isn't he funny!?!" Tenn cried.  
  
"Um... Yeah," Fausta and Dib agreed. "Yes, very, VERY funny. Hilarious even!"  
  
Zim shoved the invader's boot off his face and spat and adjusted his wig. "Look, I don't even KNOW you!!"  
  
A crazed look spread over Tenn's green visage. "And yet, you managed to RUIN my life, you doomful JERK!!"  
  
"How am I the 'doomful jerk', when you're the one bursting into classrooms and beating innocent people up?" he questioned, brushing himself off.  
  
Tenn scowled and told the story. The story of the rebel Vort-slave-beast, and the misguided boxes. The horrid malfunctioning SIRs and the MegaDoomer. How she'd hitched and jacked a stupid, traveling Guhsqueedasplorch's ride, and flown around space for five years, looking for Zim in his strange planet.  
  
Zim frowned. "But then why don't you go and kill that Vorten!?"  
  
Tenn shrugged. "Eh. Don't feel like tracking him down." She got an evil look. "And besides, you're so....SHORT."  
  
Zim scowled under Tenn's superior height. He frowned, he scowled, and frowned some more!! WOW, was Zim unhappy at that comment!!  
  
Dib coughed some ash from his lungs, almost hacking out the respiratory organs themselves in the process. "Hey, doesn't ANYONE care that there's a homicidal and undisguised ALIEN in the class, who just tried to kill the other alien, Zim??"  
  
Mister Bitters snorted. "The girl's OBVIOUSLY wearing a costume."  
  
Tenn rose her invisible Irken brow and twitched her antennae.  
  
Sara stood up. "Yeah, I mean, that green! It's SO fake!"  
  
"So ZIM," Spoo chipped in.  
  
"REALLY not her color," Sara added vainly. "And those red contacts? Puh-leeze!! How last week is THAT??"  
  
"Psh! And PINK!" Zita sniffed from her new desk in the back of the room. "What kinda girl wears PINK??" The lavender girl rolled her eyes, and moved her cast-covered arm in a dismissive wave.  
  
"Huh! Look at those 'antennae'," Bitters laughed. "How disgustingly cute and stereotypical for dressing up as an alien."  
And the teacher grabbed one of Tenn's antennae and yanked. It snapped in half quite audibly.  
  
Tenn's eyes grew very huge and watery. "OH, BY THE IRKEN MACHINNNNNE!!! THE PAIIIINNNNN!!!! AHHHHRRRRRGGHHHHH!!!!" The poor invader fired up her mech-fliers and smashed blindly through the skool roof, and away, screeching. Fortunately, the storm had dried itself out by now, and the sun shone brightly once again.  
  
Mister Bitters growled. "Huuuh..." he sighed. "What an uneventful day." He glared at his students. "Go home now."  
  
Fausta glanced at the clock. It was about another four hours until the end of skool.  
  
"But sir," Dib started. "It's not tim--"  
  
"I SAID GET OUT!"  
  
Bitters did not have to repeat himself again. The students scattered and scrambled like roaches under flamey-hot sunlight!! ...Or something else that scatters and scrambles really well.  
The thin instructor let out a wry smile, and he turned to his computery boards. A person in white silhouette and magenta eyes glared back from the screen.  
"My Flared Nostril comrades," Bitters began. "I think we may have some problems. GREEN, and BIG-HEADED problems."  
  
*** walking home from skool  
  
Zim snarled a bit at the tears and scrapes he received from the fight. He limped slightly as he walked.  
  
Dib continued to brush the ash from his trench, absent-mindedly, busily trying to keep all the new info in his head fresh.  
  
Fausta had concerns on her mind as well- the morphing problem and all, but tried to keep a cool composure. "Heh, you SURE you don't know that gal, gimpy-Irken-mortal?"  
  
The Irken glared. "Well, I was in the Academy with ...TENN ... for a few years before she graduated. That's all. Lousy invader... GIMPY, huh. ...What... Tenn, argh, that... URRGHHH..IRKEN!!!" he rambled.  
  
The two others looked a bit freaked out by Zim's ranting about Irkens and invaders, but Dib decided to amuse himself with commenting on Zim's slight limp.  
  
"Yes, Zim! Go! Gimp at the speed of light!" he cried to the green alien.  
Dib and the Wing laughed aloud for quite a while at the joke, while Zim scowled, his red eyes darkening.  
  
Suddenly, a large form pushed roughly by Zim, Fausta, and Dib, who were walking more-or-less in a line, causing the three to stumble and growl angrily.  
  
"Hey!" Dib shouted in disdain, before he saw who did it.  
  
Torque Smacky's sneery face leered at them. "...Yeah?" he snorted.  
Sara twirled around daintily to sneer at the trio as well.  
  
"Wh-why don't you just stop messing with us, huh?" Dib continued. "Huh? Why?"  
  
"Pshh. Why should I?" Smacky swiveled his little eyes and noticed Fausta's new look. "Huh? What, so now a feather-freak is hanging out with Greeno and Big-Head?"  
  
"Yeah," Sara answered. "Those three freaks are SO uncool. I mean, psh, their uncoolness is so sickening! How about we get outta here before their total lameness makes me sick."  
  
"What!?" Fausta cried. "You DARE speak of a--"  
The Wing didn't get to finish her sentence before she was shoved backwards, to the pavement by Torque.  
  
Zim braced himself and raised his gloved fists, scowling, waiting for Torque to make a move on him.  
  
"Yeah, I DARE," Smacky smirked.  
  
The Wing pushed herself up with a hand. "Hm! I am offended." She noticed Sara muffling giggles, and squinted an angry eye.  
  
"YARRGH!!" was the giggly one's cry as she fell like a half-ton of bricks, when the indignant Wing kicked her in the shin. "Pain! The kick causes great pain!"  
  
Torque didn't approve of people harming his fellows, and stepped forward menacingly. "Alright. Looks like I'm gonna have to teach you and your freak-friends a lesson--"  
  
Zim backed up. "Wh-!? But we didn't do anything!"  
  
"So?" Torque responded. "It'll be funny."  
  
"What is so humorous about causing them pain?" a new person joined in the conversation.  
  
Everyone turned to the side to see a scowling Human-disguised Tak stepping up. She was scowling darkly at Zim and Dib, as usual. (Oh, and she was SCOWLING! Whee!!) The would-be Irken Elite glanced at Fausta shortly, in contempt. The darkly-attired Irken snorted at her.  
"And I thought Zim's disguise was bad." She thought about her words.  
"...Well, actually, it is. But compared to THAT, your pitiable disguise is actually GOOD," Tak said to Zim reluctantly.  
"Not as good as mine, of course, though. You could NEVER be as good as I, the true Invader."  
  
"Huh! Big arrogance-speech for a loooozerly PIG of an Irken!" Zim growled back. "How are you feeling now, after that NASTY bout of .... uh... what biological weapon did I use on you again??"  
  
Tak sighed loudly. She was about to retaliate verbally, when Torque started.  
  
"Hey, I'm still talking here," he interrupted with a frown.  
  
"Then talk, mortal! I, and my comrades here shall make you regret your crude behavior!" she announced, stepping behind Dib and Zim, who in turn, fled behind her. She let out an exasperated sigh.  
  
Smacky rose a brown brow. "Uh huh..."  
  
"Um, yeah." The Wing drooped a bit. "Well... we're pretty sad now, but just wait 'til we think of some really doomful revenge plan with our conniving minds, to uh... DOOM you and your friends!" Fausta declared with false confidence. She was like an ice cube in a glass of steamy tea!  
  
"......... Yeah..." Smacky cracked his large knuckles, making the sounds of ice when you crush it to bits with your teeth. "I'm gonna hurt you three now."  
  
"Not more than I'M gonna hurt ZIM!!" A shower of green lazer beams struck the ground around Zim. Tenn appeared, shrieking furiously, and hovered over to her wide-eyed target.  
  
Tak tilted her pale head. "Hm.. The disguises just become worse and worse with each passing person," she remarked at looking over Tenn's mangled suit and self.  
  
"Who asked for YOUR opinion!?" Tenn snarled.  
Wow, a lot of un-nice people here! So much hatin'!  
  
"No one, Invader." Tak waved her hand once in a gesture of disinterest. "It's really too bad that you would go and tear up your uniform. It, after all, DOES symbolize your 'grand' status, and your home planet and mighty Empire."  
  
Tenn rubbed her aching head. The heavily wounded Irken Invader was certainly having a bad day. She growled lowly, more menacing than an angry tiger.  
  
Zim rushed forward, and took one of each of the female Irkens' hands, and put them together in a Human hand-shake. "Well, it seems you two don't really know each other! Well, then get to know each other! I'll just be leeeaving now! Be careful around beavers! Buh-bye!!" Zim rambled out quickly.  
  
But putting the hand of Tenn and Tak together was like putting together the faces of two terrible serpents.  
A few seconds after Zim had run off, Tak snatched her three-fingered appendage from Tenn's grasp with contempt and a deep scowl.  
  
"Huh. Looks like your target has gotten away," the dark Tak commented with a hiss, trying to press some of Tenn's nerves. The would-be Elite Irken had little sense of real fear.  
  
"Well, it's YOUR fault!" she spat irately. Her antennae almost uncurled entirely in sheer wrath, and they bounced back to their natural spirally-ness.  
  
"Don't blame your mishaps and misfortunes on me. Hmph. I did nothing to aid him in escape. But think nothing of this moment. I will destroy him and take this dirt-ball for the Tallests soon enough." A flash of blue shot across Tak's eyes. "In fact, you--"  
  
SMACK! THUD. Tak's silence.  
  
"Don't use those cheap implant devices on me!" Tenn shrieked. Her mind was very lost, as it had been for so long, after the malfunctioning-SIRs incident.  
  
"Alright, alright. Stop your screaming." Tak got up from the pavement, and stood her full height, of two inches taller than Tenn. "I suggest you quickly get a disguise, keep your head, and hold that loud tongue of yours--"  
  
"Well, *I* suggest YOU don't give ME suggestions! I'm fine with out your doomful advice!! I didn't make it this far as an Invader by being STUPID, you know!!"  
  
Tak blinked apathetically. "I never said nor implied such a thing... But, ... where did you leave your ship, which you used to get to Earth?"  
  
Tenn stood still as an Irken-looking statue and this went on for a while, her blinking every few seconds. Tak was about to lose all interest, when suddenly-  
  
"ARRGHHHH!!! THE SHIP!! I LEFT IT OUT THERE!?!?! STUPID, STUPID, STUPID...." Tenn's screaming voice eventually died away as she ran farther and farther down the street, from Tak.  
  
Tak turned around, to head back to her base with a very sad sigh, as if one had just seen her people's future, and it was a very bad one, and she walked away.  
  
-----------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Whee!! May 14th, 2002! We finished this Monty Python movie, the Holy Grail, in Latin class today! *snifflez* Magistra wasn't there! Well, the movie was super-hilarious though! Hehe, great ending!!  
Whoo! Glad I got to see new character before posting this!! Wah hoo!!  
Oy, I wonder if my friend'll beat mah Fatal Frame game?? Ooh! That rhymez!! 


	15. A Nifty Lunch

pureVENOM: Oy, I believe I forgot to put a lesson in for the eariler chapter. Um...  
  
Lesson of Da Previous Chapter: Tenn and Tak don't like each other good.  
  
^.^ Alrighty! Well, "GIR Goes Crazy and Stuff" and "Di'b Wonderful Life of Doom" were certainly enlightening! OMG, the "Dance with us, GIR... Dance with us into oblivion..." was just SOOOOO FREAKING CREEEEPPY!!! And they played like, a remix of the Carne Beat!! Oh, and the muffin... I sigh in sheer bliss.  
Yes, *RogueStar*, at seeing Invader Tenn at the short length of time that we were given in "MegaDoomer", I feel that she DOES scream a lot, no? Quite hysterically, too.  
Tak, I feel, however, is much more composed and calm. I mean, she DOES scream too, but much less. Whadda you think??  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Chapter Fifteen: A Nifty Lunch  
  
-----------------------------  
  
Tak turned to see the idiot trio's fleeing backs in the distance. She watched them quietly as they disappeared. Then suddenly, she frowned. "Yeah, that's right! Run at the speed of wind! No, at the speed of LIGHT, Zim! Someday..."  
The darkly dressed Irken slunk away, to the neighboring street, where she lived.  
  
*** Zim's Earthen base  
  
"MASTER! MASTER, MASTER, MASTEEERR!!!" cried a shrill voice.  
  
Zim grimaced as he continued into the base. "Yes, GIR!? What is it?!"  
  
The SIR blinked his lovely green 'eyes'. "Um.... Wait, uh...."  
  
Zim tapped his black-clad foot in impatience.  
  
"Oh YEAH!!" GIR shouted happily, closing his optics. "The nice-neighbor man invited us to a paaaaarttteeee!!!" He whipped out a black and red card from his head.  
  
Zim narrowed his eyes after peeling off the diguise-lenses and snatched up the paper. " 'Part-tee'??" The Irken spun on a heel and addressed his computer. "Computer! What is this... 'PAR-TEE'...??"  
  
The computer blooped a bit, then replied. "It is a congregation of Humans. They revel with joy and... stuff. ....Oh yeah, and usually there's poopcorn!"  
  
Zim cringed. CRINGING, was he!! "Computer, WHY are they 'reveling with joy' at these 'part-tees'?"  
  
"Welll.... I don't knooow..." was the slow response.  
  
The Irken scowled angrily at the unwanted answer. "WHAT!? What you you MEAN, you DON'T KNOW!? You've BEEN downloading data from that DESpicable Huuuman invention, the 'internet', for FIVE years, HAVEN'T YOU??"  
  
"Ummm..... Data insufficient," the computer answered quickly and nervously.  
  
Zim was about ready to burst. Like a tea kettle on the stove for a long time. Today is a valde bad day, no? Water, attack from Tenn, being 'saved' by the enemy Tak, et cetera.  
"Alright... Computer, make an educated guess, will you??"  
  
"Err.... ...No..?"  
  
A sigh. "I meant about the joyous REVELING."  
  
"Oh. That. Um, okay.... The Humans are... celebrating the anniversary of... the creation of rootbeer, and they use origomi paper fans to do so, blowing ...AIR... um, across the... Atlantic Ocean, home of the sunken city... and give their thanks to the beings of the Underworld...?" the computer quickly thought up.  
  
Zim blinked. "Fascinating! An 'UNDERWORLD'?? 'Sunken CITY'?? 'ORiGOMi'?? Hm..."  
The Irken skittered towards to front door on his mech-legs, folded them up, and replaced the contact lenses. "I shall GO to this 'part-tee' and conduct some research on Human reveling-behavior of rootbeer. GIR! You are invited as well, you said?" He made a sharp 'come' gesture, and headed outside.  
  
GIR, who had been occupied and quiet during the whole time, unwittingly terrifing with a solitary scouter ant, leapt up. "G'BYE, BUGGY!!" he shrieked, not realizing that when he got up, he'd smashed the tiny creature with his foot.  
The adorable SIR slipped into his puppy-suit and quick-walked outside with his master, making a cute squeaking sound at every step.  
  
*** The Dib house, well, actually it's 'The Professor House', isn't it??  
  
Dib wiped a drop of sweat from his brow as he entered his home.  
Safety at last... Well, actually, not really. Gaz would probably find some sort of nonsensical reason to half-destroy him.  
While the paranormalist tried to tiptoe his way behind the living room sofa, where his scary sister sat seated in front of the TV, she suddenly stood up.  
  
Dib cringed in terror, and tried to make a run for it. The twin black tails of his trench flapping audibly behind him like a fleeing bird's wings.  
  
Gaz speeded up, wispy clouds of greyish smoke trailing behind her. She tore in front of her running brother and took hold of his T-shirt collar sharply. Gaz brought her other fist up, and drew it back slowly.  
Dib shut his eyes tightly, waiting for the painful pummeling, but none came. Still, he figured Gaz was just up to some new beating-up-Dib-to-a-bruised-pulp method. He left his eyes closed.  
  
"Open your stupid eyes," Gaz commanded with a low growl. "Stupid," she added.  
  
Dib slowly opened one eye and glanced at his sister. Then, he opened the other. "Um... yes..?"  
  
Gaz still held her big brother by the collar, and her fist quivered in the air, as if to sock him. But instead, it opened up to reveal a crumpled red and black what seemed to used to be a card.  
The violent violet-haired girl looked over the balled-up dark paper. "Hm. It's a little wrinkled, but it's an invitation to lunch with that one tall, kewl guy."  
  
'One tall, kewl guy'...? Dib strained his mind to think of whom Gaz was speaking of. Then, he remembered. Fuzzily, at first, but as he pictured the strange, dark mansion that had suddenly appeared down the street, and the whole Mind Delver incident, the image of Johnny quickly sharpened.  
"Lunch??" he asked to make sure.  
  
"Yeah, LUNCH," Gaz spat at him, and glaring at him as if he were a MORON. "Stupid ears..." she mumbled as she stalked towards the front door. She stopped abruptly, and turned as Dib began to follow her, and WHAPPED him upside the head.  
  
Dib fell and rubbed his now bruised forehead. "Hey! Gaz, what was THAT for!?"  
  
"For being STUpid, as usual." She rose her fist in a very menacing way. "And another for running from me when I was trying to tell you about the invitation."  
  
Smack! "OW! ARGH, MY BRAINMEATS!!"  
  
*** Faust's Earthen base  
  
Fausta trudged slowly into her dark home tiredly, her large wings wrapped round her shoulders. The Onyx Wing shrugged her back-pack off, by the sofa, and collapsed onto the carpetted ground.  
  
"Huh. Heavier fall than usual?" Faust commented with a frown, and he took a swig of Cherry Poop.  
  
"I'm soooo tired today, Faust! I dunno why! AND my morphing isn't... well, MORPHING!!" She put her arms across her face absentmindedly.  
  
Faust put on a thoughtful look. "Uh.. Huh... Well, that's weird."  
  
"YEAH, it's 'WEIRD'!!" she cried in response. "WHAT DO I DO???"  
  
A shrug. "See Marcellus or sumthin'."  
  
: ( "Why don't YOU ever do anything for me, Faust! You're supposed to be FAMILY!! AND my instruc-!" Fausta complained.  
  
The house's computer main screen in the living room flickered to life in front of the two Wings. "Mistress, I hope I'm not interrupting, but I believe the master has forgotten to tell the you about the invitation? I mean, he only GOT it about three minutes ago."  
  
The Onyx Wing scowled. "Compy, you DID interrupt me, and you KNOW it!"  
  
"Yeah, yeah, ANYway! Master."  
  
Faust blinked in confusion. "Um... Oh yeah!" He fished a slightly wrinkled red and black card from a pocket of his robes he wore outside of his silvery armor. "That John-or-whatever neighbor invited us to lunch. I'm not coming though."  
  
Fausta sat up with some effort. "Quid?? Quid non?? (What?? Why not??) That's SO mean!"  
  
Faust shook his head with an apathetic sneer. "Valde." (Exceedingly/Very.)  
  
"Whatever, Faust! Eo," (I'm going.) she growled and left, after grabbing and pocketing an unopened Cherry Poop from the small sofa table nearby.  
The Nny-Human was rather interesting and nice! So, she really wanted to come to this lunch, with or without Faust. Preferably withOUT. Yepperz!  
  
*** Outside the Nny-house  
  
Fausta recoiled in both shock and disgust when she saw the five at the house before her. "What are YOU all doing here!?"  
  
Dib put on a 'duh' look. "Um, we were INVITED here??" He held up a large fruit basket of various vegetables which he brought as a gift.  
  
Gaz stood rather far from her brother, dark and looming under the veiny shadows of the property's many bare trees. "Yeah, so why don't we go INSIDE?"  
  
GIR did a little dance in anticipation. "Yaaay!! I'm gunna get da doorrr!!!" and the SIR leapt up and used the nice brass knocker on the front door. It was carved in the shape of Happy Noodle Boy, and shone faintly under the light, thought it was a very bright afternoon.  
  
The massive cherry wood-looking doors creaked slowly open, everyone (except Gaz and GIR) watching in slight fear. It was, afterall, a very eerie place.  
  
"Greetings, everyone!" a happy, soft voice cried out. Johnny stood at the open doorway with a cheery gesture. A darkness awaited the guests past the front doors, several candles and torches in sconces lighting the place up with a nifty golden luminescence.  
"Please, come in! Wow, you didn't have strange, large, in-Humanish, yet very neat-looking wings before, right?" he asked to Fausta.  
  
"Ah, um... Yeah, they just appeared one day! Ah, you know how that is," she replied, not making much sense at all.  
  
The five guests exchanged glances and headed inside. Well, GIR, actually, ran inside and hugged Johnny's thin, booted shins.  
  
"I loooves you!!" the little robot sniffed, tears welling up, one dropping onto one of Nny's boots.  
  
The dark man's smile broadened, and he lifted up the green-puppy bot. The metal was unEarthenly light, making GIR easy to carry. He'd been disappointed that the tall winged person hadn't come, but the appearance of the others, and the sheer sweetness of GIR took his mind away from the thought.  
  
"Wheeee-hee-HEE!!" GIR shrieked in joy. He kicked his little legs cutely and nuzzled his green head against Nny's T-shirted chest. "Le'sgo eat, nice-neighbor man!!"  
  
"Alrighty, talking-robot-puppy! What's your name, anyway?"  
  
"Mmm.... GIR!!" the SIR giggled.  
  
"Oh yeah! That's right!" Johnny crooned and stroked the greenly disguised robot's head.  
  
The hallway was carpetted with deep crimson in irregular splotches, so that it seemed to have been a white rug before, but was splattered with buckets of blood, and the walls were covered with knives and daggers of all sorts. They seemed arragned in no particular order.  
  
Gaz wore a 'oh, neat' expression as she looked over the arsenal of a hall.  
  
He led everyone to the kitchen.  
The room was rather small, compared to the house's total size. Tiles of the color of brackish water-- a sort of translucent/transparent light brown mixed with black covered the floors and sections of the walls. Where there were no darkish tiles on the walls, there was a nice thick coat of black paint, but in some areas it seemed that someone had been carving drawings and words into the wall, and paint was peeling and flaking off in other areas, revealing wooden boards.  
A sink, and kitchen appliances of brushed chrome glowed dully with the light from the scones. Intricate patterns of wispy dragonish and elfin creatures bordered the doors and small, stained-glass windows of garnet, obsidian, and topaz. The gem-colored pieces of glass were arranged in random and simple designs. Fausta wondered if Nny had made them so that they'd be real precious stones.  
The house, a strange mixture of extravagance and simplicity, was created of Johnny's twisted mind, his memory of his former home, and his knowledge of more eye-appealing ones.  
A table of mahogony-looking wood was covered in plates, cups, and utensils, and various food and drink.  
  
"Hm," Gaz complimented. "Nice."  
  
"Yeah, it looks real nifty, huh??" Fausta smiled. "I LOVE these lights, Nny! Wow, we NEVER have fire back at home. Everything's water, water, wat..." she continued on in the background about how she liked the place.  
  
Zim snorted in disdain. He disliked the 'primitive' lights and the 'dirty'-looking tiles, and pretty much everything. "Hmph. This had better be worthy of ZIM's time," he growled and shifted his wig. The Irken shuddered at the thought of Humans celebrating rootbeer and praising the Underworld inhabitants.  
  
Dib was busying complimenting Nny's taste in clothing. (They both like black trenches and dark clothes, apparently.) He handed his host the fruit basket of vegetables.  
  
Nny blinked as he accepted the gift. "..Thanks..." He wiped a single tear from his left eye. "I love carrots and turnips..!" He patted the big head boy on the head.  
  
GIR leapt up the kitchen table and grabbed a Cherry Fiz-Wiz by him. "MmMM!! WIZZY!!!" He slurped it up. "Heehee!! Tastes lika reeeed taco!"  
  
Johnny and Dib stepped over to the table, and soon everyone was seated.  
  
"Well, I'd like to thank you for inviting us to your house for lunch, Johnny," Dib said politely, using his best of manners.  
  
Zim was engaged in carefully examing the foods Nny had served for his guests through some large, Irken magnifying glass and taking notes.  
Gaz silently, and contentedly sipped at a Classic Poop.  
Fausta and GIR, knowing pretty much nothing of Human manners, were digging in. Everything, except for the Poop was cherry-flavored, they noticed, and was very tasty.  
  
"Oh, it's my pleasure." Nny shook his head; his usually messy, scraggly hair, was neatly combed to a side. "It's certainly a nice change from what I usually do. Oh, what a painful-looking bruise. I haven't seen one that large and dark in a while!" he said, looking at Dib's head.  
  
"It HAD to be large to accomadate his huge head properly," Gaz said between a sip.  
  
"Oh I suppose that DOES make sense," Nny mused.  
  
Dib frowned a bit.  
  
The two continued their delightful conversation, when Fausta suddenly noticed that the fruit-basket of vegetables Dib had, was now with Nny. She wondered... Should she give something to Johnny as well? She didn't want the DIB-Human to seem better than her, and she also wanted to be nice to the kewl Nny-mortal.  
Suddenly, she heard it--  
  
"Haha, yeah. Isn't it the weirdest thing?? The convenience stores are ALWAYS out of Poop!" Dib said, to switch the topic of the conversation AWAY from his massive head.  
  
"Well, that has nothing to do with your skull, but yeah. Not very convenient, huh?" Johnny added. "I wonder who gets all that soda. I was lucky there were a few cans of Classic Poop left, for you guys."  
  
"Oh, well, thanks. It tastes great!" Dib took a sip of Poop to show his gratitude. "Just like Poop!"  
  
"Heh, yeah, but I personally, am not really fond of Classic Poop. The flavor's too sharp. It stings more than a 75-watt battery." He grimaced at the Poop. "I would've gotten a Cherry Ice-Sucky, or a Brainfreezy instead, but I was afraid they'd melt and get all watery before you guys got here. Wow, I wish I had a Cherry Poop right now."  
  
Fausta blinked. 'A cherry Poop right now.' She took the soda in her pocket out. "I have one for you, Nny!"  
  
GIR was suddenly caught up in this spirit of giving, and decided he wanted to give something to Johnny as well.  
  
Zim chose at this moment to stop with his looking at food. "..."  
"GIR!!!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?" he cried.  
  
And for a reason, too. GIR was pulling off his dog hood and opening up his robot head.  
  
"Be quiet, Zim," Gaz ordered quietly. "We all KNOW that your 'DOG' is a robot."  
  
"We-w-rrrgh!!" Zim sputtered, and growled. "That sliver of knowledge was ALREADY property of Zim's vast miiind, Gaz-beast! I was merely... uh... TESTING GIR!"  
  
"Riiight, Zim," Dib stated sarcastically.  
  
GIR pulled a rubber moose from his head. "Moosey! Nice-neighbor, meet Moosey! He'sa MOOSE!" The SIR giggled and handed it to Nny who took it with an 'aww' expression, which was rather new to him. "I want you to keep Moosey!" GIR announced happily.  
  
"Hello, Moosey. I am Johnny," the tall man said to the rubber toy, as he stood holding the thing. "But I prefer that you call me Nny."  
He listened for a reply from the moose, but found only silence. He shrugged.  
"Thank you, GIR! I shall treasure Moosey always, though he's a bit tactiturn, isn't he?"  
  
"Tac-ee-turnnn.. tacee... TACOOOOOES!!!" the silly SIR exclaimed. He hugged Johnny again. "Heheee!!"  
  
Nny laughed a bit. "Very affectionate for such a small robot, isn't he?" he asked to Zim.  
  
The Irken however, wasn't paying attention, for he was busy noting the behavior of the Humans. He snapped his head up. "Wha!? Hnm!? Did say something to ZIM, reveling Nny-Human??"  
  
"Well, yes..." he replied, a bit disappointed Zim hadn't been listening.  
  
"Oh, ..uh, yes! GIR is..." Zim started. The words 'made out of junk' came to mind, but of course, Zim would never say something like that about GIR. He's not THAT evil. I mean, look, he promised the moon to GIR!! (Tak: The Hideous New Girl) Isn't that just SWEET??  
"GIR is VERY advanced for his line of robots! His AI chip is programmed to be um... like... very SMART. Yeees," Zim lied in explanation. "That is why he is such a-- ARGH!! A DIGUSTING BEEF-WEASIL!!!"  
  
There were some confused looks until everyone noticed a valde large ferret gnawing on Zim's head, where a Human ear would be.  
  
"MASTER!! MASTEEER!!" GIR sobbed hysterically.  
  
Zim had gotten the ferret under control with a bit of violent strangling.  
  
"MAAAASTEEERR!!!" GIR continued, his tears flooding the ground around him.  
  
Zim blinked and rubbed his stingy head. "GIR, I'm alright!"  
  
"WHHYYY, MASTER!?! I LOVE-ED YOU!! WHY DID DA MONGOOSE TAKE YOU AWAY!?? WHY NOT THE GOOSE!? OR THE MON!!??" GIR continued. He looked up. "Oh, hiya, Master!!" He jumped up and hugged Zim's face.  
  
"GIR, GET OFF MY FACE!!" the Irken cried, his voice muffled.  
  
Everyone had to laugh at this scene. It was just to random and weird. Sigh, and the lunch was so normal, for a while, huh??  
  
"Hey, where'd that rat-monster come from anyway??" Fausta asked to no one in particular.  
  
"It'sa MONgoose," GIR corrected incorrectly.  
  
"No, it's NOT." Dib frowned. "It's a FERRET. And it's too big to be a normal ferret."  
  
"Dib, that's not a valde nive thing to say!" Fausta scolded. "What if someone just came up to you and said 'Your head's to be to a be a normal Huuuuman's.'??"  
  
The paranormalist cocked a brow. "People already have been saying that to me for years."  
  
"Oh, yeah. I forgot."  
  
"I brought that thing in here!!" shouted a voice from a hole in the ceiling that wasn't there just a minute ago.  
Tak leapt in.  
  
She wore her Human disguise, and her SIR followed smoothly behind in 'cat' form. (Whoo, I THINK it's supposed to be a cat.)  
"I was just taking this genetically altered freak of natural ferret out for a walk here." She glanced at the knocked-out creature at Zim's feet. "But I guess it's not going to be walking much for a while, huh?"  
  
"Aw, did you HAVE to slice a hole through my roof??" Nny asked. "Was that REAALLY necessary??"  
  
Tak shrugged. "Actually, it was. I tried going through the front doors, then the back ones, each of your fifty-one tiny windows, the cellar entrance, the twenty-five basement air vents, and the three chimmneys, but your creepy defense system kept getting in the way. But for some reason, the roof idea worked."  
  
Remember all the creepy bare trees outside? Well, they're not really trees. When an intruder of intruding intentions comes by, the 'trees' grow (literally) tons of metallic tentacles and attempt to strangle the daylights out of the person. It's valde fun to watch.  
  
"Oh." Nny blinked. "Well, good job, I guess."   
Tak waved a dismissive hand. "It was nothing." She thought about that. "No, actually, it was very annoying."  
  
Her SIR, Me-Mi lashed out with his whip-like tail, to show his own irritation.  
  
"Could you please shut off your house's defenses from now on?" she asked. Not using her mind-controlling abilites too, just to let you know. Not that it probably would've worked. Nny's valde smart.  
  
"Oh, sorry. Sure, I don't need them anyway," Johnny complied. The sound of something huge powering down was heard all around.  
"So what did you come breaking and entering in here for?" Johnny asked, not-angrily, but curiously.  
  
"Oh, just some intended homicide (beating-up Zim), larceny (stealing his job), and destruction of others' property (the hole in Nny's roof, and her planning to doom GIR)," Tak shrugged. "And maybe some murdering." (Dib and Fausta. x_x;;)  
  
"Oh, well, don't going getting yourself into trouble now, young lady," Nny warned nicely. He glanced at the clock above, which by the way had Roman numerals (^.^).  
"ARGH, it's almost time for the marathon for my favorite show! I must ask you all to leave now," Johnny said reluctantly. "I completely forgot about it. You see, I'm having the house lock itself up so that nothing disturbs me during the marathon. I don't wanna keep you all mewed up in here, so you should go. Sorry, kids."  
  
Tak nodded. "Hm, well, I SUPPOOOSE my dooming can wait. You all got lucky today!" she called to her rivals. The female Irken and her 'cat' leapt back through the hole in the ceiling, and out of sight. ...Well, Tak tried to in any case.  
  
"ARRRGHH!!" she came crashing back down. "What WAS that thing!?" She brushed herself up, and tried to find her aerial attacker.  
Me-Mi slammed into the ground by her, fizzing and crackling.  
Tak narrowed her eyes. "That flying yellow monster..."  
  
Zim and Fausta perked up, old memories stirred, and they heard the evil song above--  
  
"La lala lala lala lala lala lalaaa...!!"  
  
They shuddered.  
  
Nny helped Tak up. "You, know, you CAN use the front door if you want."  
  
"Sure. Thanks." And Tak headed for the door.  
  
Well, a lunch time has passed, and all the guests bid a nice goodbye to their kindly host as they leave.  
  
Any normal person watching then go would've been apathetic and/or stupidly oblivious to the earless and noseless green boy, and his lime-green dog with a zipper at his neck. The person however, probably WOULD notice Fausta's dark wings, and cry for "Animal Control, there's an emu on the loose!" And the deathly pale Gaz with her pendant walking silently by, playing her GSMIV she'd pulled from her pocket, and her humungous-headed brother babbling about monsters and aliens would rise some brows.  
  
While, any normal person from OUR world, somehow evilly ignorant of Invader Zim, would just have been completely weirded out watching the strange party going by, and most likely call the police, ...or a circus owner.  
Zim fans would be freaked out and ecstatic, and probably end up chasing the Irken to his house, only to get pummeled by his guard-gnomes.  
Zim-haters (OMG, ARE there any??) would likewise, also, end up chasing Zim to his house, and getting pummeled by his gnomes.  
  
NNY, however, watching his guests go, could only see a bunch of sweet bickering children leaving after lunch. It wasn't an unpleasant sight. It was actually, strangely free of the rot, filth, and stink he normally saw-- a very favorable change.  
  
-----------------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Oy! That only took half of forever to write! Naw, more like... hm, it's embarrassing to say how many hours. -_-;;  
  
Da Lesson of This Chapter: Don't jump through holes in your ceiling without looking boths ways. There's bound to be an evil death-bee waiting to pummel you and your robot-cat.  
  
The mentioning of the sunken city in the Atlantic Ocean, I believe will lead to something in a future chapter, as will the flamingoes' conspiring, and revenge of the bullies. Also, the Underworld idea is going to become a rather large thing, for this fic, I believe. I've been wanting to write something for it for a while, since this weird idea popped into my head. Maybe next chapter. Vale!  
*ahem* HIYA, *RogueStar*!!!!!!! ^.~ I can see ya!! ...Well, actually, no I can't, but whatever! ....I'm gonna write the chapter title and save now! 


	16. Mortals, and Niv

pureVENOM: Ah haha!! Finally, to expand on this strange condition Fausta is in. And then I, the author, shall have mean stuff to happen to Lil. And then I'll probably have some doomful stuff happening in the Underworld. Then maybe a chapter for Dib and Zim.  
I plan to maybe do a chapter in the future based on my real-life school and its money problems. I go to Pinole Valley High School in California (in what city, but PINOLE??), and due to severe lack of money, it's planning to eliminate classes where the minority of the students go to. These things are in grave danger of happening--  
~kill Debate*  
~kill Latin**  
~kill Forensics*  
~one AP Chemistry class*  
~kill AP Enviromental Science  
~kill Foods and Nutrition  
~kill/harm Conservatory*  
~one Physics class  
~combine Spanish 4 and 5*  
~combine French 4 and 5*  
~kill Journalism*  
~kill AP languages**  
  
NOTE: "AP" stands for "advanced placement". The "*" means I gots FRIENDS in those classes I'm worried about, or they WERE planning to take those classes in the future. The "**" means both me AND my friends have this, or WANT to take it later on.  
So in any case, you can see that these are mainly valde good classes the District is proposing to cut. Me and my buddies are working on saving Latin mainly, as far as I can tell.  
Sorry, for all this disheartening complaining. I just wanted to enlighten people who are reading this on some lousy stuffs going on around in my high school. Sigh. I probably won't finish this chapter before the Board Meeting (on June 5th 2002), which will prolly decided upon the fates of our dear classes.  
I sigh again. Well, regardless of what happens to my dear classes, I'm gonna keep writing, WITH my Latin name, "Fausta"!! ...Although, I may change my signatures from "da psycho Fausta" to "da dead psycho Fausta"....  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
  
Chapter Sixteen: Mortals, and Niv  
  
---------------------------------------------------  
  
Fausta was still rubbing the sore spots on her head from kids who called her a 'wingy freak' and had thrown stones at her while fleeing through Center City Park. She was taking her cousin's word, and finally going to see Marcellus about her not-being-able to morph anymore problem. I mean, WHAT KIND OF LAME-O WING INVADER CAN'T MORPH!?! Cough. Er, sorry, Fausta! ^__^;;;;;  
The Oynx Wing stepped toward the quickly typing Marcellus and tapped him on the shoulder, being that the busy Obsidian Wing hadn't noticed her.  
  
"ARRRRGH!! THE DEMON-WEASIL!!!" he shrieked and swiveled around with lightning speed. He then noticed his short, winged buddy.  
"Yargh, I've been freaked out! Noli facere identidem, Faustaaaaa!! (Don't do that again, Faustaaaaa!!) This ol' man'll die of headmeat failure or something if you keep that up! You know, I once heard of a Wing who died of--"  
  
"Um, yeah, okay..." the young Wing interrupted. "Er, Marcellus. I have a problem. A big, huge, GIGANTO problem!!"  
  
Marcellus narrowed his normal eye, but his smoky black/grey one remained completely open. "Yeah? What is it?? Are those giant fish people in a bear suit from half a decade ago back?!?" He looked scared. "OH BY TARTARUS!! I HOPE NOT!!! You wouldn't BELIEVE how tough they are to kill!!"  
  
Fausta was confuuuuzzled! "What...? No."  
  
"Oh. Good then." Marcellus relaxed.  
  
"It's MUCH worse! I suddenly can't morph!! Also, the house's computer's been strangely mean to me lately. About the only good recent thing is that that medicine you concocted up for me's working. I haven't heard Kil in weeks!!" Fausta beamed rather darkly.  
  
Marcellus nodded. "Go on."  
  
"...But LOOK and GASP and BEHOLD!" The young Wing peeled off a glove and showed him the tip of her forefinger.  
  
The Obsidian Wing examined the appendage. "Well, all I see is a nasty papercut. And it makes sense that you can't make it heal immediately without your cell-rearranging abilities."  
  
Fausta frowned. "Yeah, that really stinks, I know. But still, Wings are supposed to heal TONS of times faster than this withOUT thinking about it."  
  
"Whoo! Haha, you're swamped in a flood of bad luck, then, huh??" Marcellus grinned and typed a few buttons into his keyboard. "You're just positively drooowning in it!! Whee hee hee!!"  
  
Fausta scowled a bit. "Come on! It's not funny!"  
  
Marcellus's smile just multiplied in size and he made some gurgling, gagging sounds that mortals make when they're drowning.  
  
Suddenly, some snickering was heard behind them.  
  
"Dib-mortal??" Fausta blinked.  
  
"Uh.... no??" came the hidden reply.  
  
The Onyx Wing flared her drab feathers. "Get out here right NOW. Why are you spying on me on such a nice, sunny Earth weekend day like this?? Aren't there enough disturbed Irkens to vex? Skool bullies to entertain? Mysteries to solve? Chickens to eat??"  
Fausta poofed up her wings more. "What, are those fouls' deaths not ENOUGH for you to eat them??? Huh? HUH?? Are you too above those departed creatures?? Must they die extraordinarily long, excruciating deaths before you go to eat them at your local Chicky Licky fastfood restaurant???"  
  
Dib came out of hiding from behind a large pile of malfunctioning computers and discarded crates. He pulled down his mask and showed the two Wings some notes he took in a notebook.  
"Well, I actually, already had some breakfast from the Si-co Taquito."  
  
"Huh." Fausta turned back to her buddy. "So anyway, can your computer detect the problem with me?"  
  
Dib narrowed his big eyes in distrust. "So what're you up to now, Fausta?"  
  
"None of your pitiful mortal business, Human." She thought for a second. "And shouldn't you already know, considering all you've heard??"  
  
"...Oh. Yeah." The Dib scratched his head and blinked once towards the computer screens full of weird symbols and writing.  
  
Suddenly, a bunch of bleeping came from a nearby computer/printer-thingy and Marcellus snatched up the paper that was being ejected from it.  
The Obsidian Wing scanned the sheet over quickly with some 'hm's and 'oh's. He quickly put the paper down upon a cluttered desk, with a smile. "Good news!"  
  
Fausta beamed, her gloved hands going up to her mouth in anticipation. "Rweawy?!?" she asked, her voice muffled. "Whad iddit??"  
  
"Well..." Marcellus grabbed the paper and looked at it again, and set it down. "There AREN'T any giant fish people in bear suits rampaging in towns."  
  
Fausta and Dib exchanged confused and disbelieving glances.  
  
"Oh, I have some bad news, though!" Marcellus continued. "You're a mortal, now!"  
  
........ "....What..?" questioned the Onyx Wing.  
  
"Aw, come on! Mortal hearing isn't THAT bad, is it??" the Obsidian Wing replied loudly.  
  
There was a moment of silence, and...  
  
"AH HAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Zim came crashing down, wrapping his arms around his sqeedilyspooch tightly in laughing pain. Apparently, he'd been spying on everyone upon the lab ceiling and found this news very tickling.  
  
The Onyx Wing flushed. "Shut UP, Irken!!" She suddenly began to brush herself off. "Eew, eeew, EEEEW!! I feel so FILTHY!!! A MORTAL!?!? EEEWWWW!!!"  
  
This bit of franticness from the young Wing only made Zim cackle even harder.  
  
Dib seemed slightly offended. "What so bad about being mortal??" he questioned, indignant.  
  
"Aww, STYX! THOSE two know!! This is horrible!" Fausta groaned. "I've felt better after being mauled by Blorchen Rat Peoples and having sand thrown all over my wounds by that disgusting Irken IDIOT in his MegaDoomer2002. Marcellus, couldn't you lock up the lab from them?? They keep spyyying on me, and it's REALLY annoying!"  
  
Marcellus shook his head. "Nope. You KNOW it's ruled that I keep this place open for anyone and everyone. I once heard about this one Researcher who LOCKED up his lab from people one day! Whoo! He was--"  
  
"Dib, get out here! Aunt Niv's back, and she's taking us out to eat food." Gaz stalked into the secret lab. Who knows how she knows where the place is.  
  
"Aunt NIV!?" Dib gasped. "But I thought she was going to stay on Venus for another month!!"  
  
"She's back EARLY for my fourteenth birthday. Duh, REMEMBER? Now get out here!" she snarled.  
  
Dib bowed his big head and obeyed.  
  
Some calculating went through the Irken Zim's calculating head as he stopped laughing and thought of this. I must do research on Venus! He skittered away evilly, straightening his wig.  
  
Fausta frowned. "Aw. I'm all alone!"  
  
"I thought that's what you wanted?" Marcellus sounded surprised.  
  
"Hm. Yeah... But now there's no mortal to complain about but myself," she responded.  
  
Her friend shrugged.  
  
"......Uh, so what do I do now that I'm a mortal??" Fausta asked, concerned.  
  
"Well... Uh, I suppose just keep living the way you do, and... uh..." Marcellus grabbed something from his desk. "Here's a corn muffin. I was going to eat it a few days ago, but I completely forgot about it. So busy..."  
  
Fausta took the muffin uncertainly and her friend went back into working. "Tibi gratias ago, Marcelle. ....Cogito.." (Thanks, Marcelle. ....I think..)  
  
*** Fun with Gaz and Niv at home!  
  
"Alright! Now, let's poke fun at Dib's big head, Gazzy!" the cheery Aunt Niv crooned to her beloved niece.  
Aunt Niv of thirty-one years stood in green flowery jeans, a long azure trench, and a crimson-red long-sleeved blouse. (Bright green and red! Very festive!) A seemingly endless chain of silver and gold bracelets ran up her right arm, which was covered over by her trench and blouse, and a large white 'Z?' was printed on the back of her coat (though some say, in the right light, it turns into a 'THIS IS MY BACK' sign). A lone skull earring matching Gaz's pendant hung from her right ear. Her bright fuschia hair (natural color!) was razored close to her head, and she held a ten and a half foot long pole with the word 'FUN!' engraved in gold along the side. Yay!  
  
Gaz agreed with a nod. She hated being babied so by people. Only, and ONLY Aunt Niv could do it without danger of being destroyed. Why? Because she was kewl...  
"Heh. I wouldn't poke a ten-foot pole at HIS stupid head."  
  
"Which is why I brought the ten and a HALF foot pole!" Niv announced, handing her only and FAVORITE niece the pole.  
  
Dib groaned but didn't attempt to escape. Otherwise, they'd tie him up. Very tightly. And jab him with sporks. The indestructible metal ones too!  
He tolerated his Aunt Niv's presence however, not only because she was family, but she also spent quality time with him too, during the week of HIS birthday. Last year, they'd gone around, pointing and cackling at people without trenchcoats. (Excluding Gaz, who would doom them, of course.)  
  
Gaz brandished the pole with a devilish smirk, and Niv patted her head.  
  
"Okay! After some doomful big-head-poking, ...PIG BLOATY'S!!" Aunt Niv cheered.  
  
*** Zim's lovely Earthen base  
  
"Hiya, Master!! What'cha doooooin'??" GIR chirped, watching his Irken ally scrutinizing the computer screen.  
  
"Be quiet, GIR. I'm trying to find out what that DIB-Human's blood relative has been doing on this dirtball's sister planet." Zim narrowed further his already slitted eyes and continued his studies.  
  
"Heehee!" the SIR giggled. "Earth has a siiister?? What she look like??"  
  
Zim pointed a claw toward a rotating picture of Venus.  
GIR watched the milky brown and white sphere turn about the large screen, and its atmospheric clouds swirl. A breathtaking sight with advanced Irken technology.  
  
The small robot cocked his head and smiled. "It looks lika chocomilk!" he said in a little shriek. "Yummy planet!"  
  
The working Irken tried to frown at GIR's stupidity, but could only manage a half-hearted one. Half a decade with the tiny thing had its effects every now and then.  
"AHA! FINALLY! SUCCEEEEEESS!!" Zim cried in victory as he found a fairly-large space station under the thick blankets of poisonous clouds.  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Argh, my parents are ANNOYING. Why must they torment me so?? I'm gonna save and end this chapter. I have no idea I made up Niv. I was bored, I guess. Bye for now!  
  
The Lesson o' This Chapter: Mmm.... Chocomilk... 


	17. Like a Mortal

pureVENOM: Geez, I haven't written in a while!! Heh. And ~I~ thought I'd have MORE time   
to write during the summer!! Stupid, stupid Fausta (not my fic Fausta. We're two COMPLETELY   
different peeps).  
I have a month of summer school. Nearly four hours of tiring Algebra lecturing. My mom's   
making me go. But I guess it's an okay idea, since I'm going to Alg 2 Trig sophomore year.   
WHOO!! SOPHOMORE YEAR!!! ...Weird.  
  
Some Rambling about Latin--  
ALSO, me and my Latin comrades lost HORRIBLY. We cleared out the Latin room. I myself took   
some Latin books to keep on learning by myself, the 'SAVE LATIN!' banner we made, some   
large postery papers, and a big t-shirt covered in facial expressions with Latin labels by   
them. Sigh. We all really thought our speeches and stuff at the school borad meeting would   
persuade them to keep Latin at least a FEW YEARS longer, but it was declared ELIMINATED from   
PVHS as of June 11th. 'Tis sucky. Valde sucky. ;_____; It made me CRRRYYYY, for several days.   
We all worked so haaard!! It's NOT FAIR!! We weren't even WARNED that Latin would be cut!!   
I HATE French!!! ARRRRRGHHHHH!!! Now this one Frenchy girl who walked by us JCLers during   
the board meeting and said "French is better" REALLY pisses me off. You know, that's just   
NOT something you say to a group of Latiners who are VERY devoted to Latin and JCL, and   
they're all getting their hopes up, and trying their best to save their language!!!   
GRRRRGHH!~!!! Down with the Frenchies and Spanishes!!! Latin RULES!!! GAH!! ...And yet, I   
am learning French 1 over the summer, like several of my friends. I've already spent some   
four hours on the horrid language. It's so WEIRD!!! And the textbook explains everything VALDE   
poorly!  
  
Some more Rambling, but about Silent Hill this time--  
Well, actually, I DO. But, I've been playing Grand Theft Auto III which my wonderful, kewl,   
funnee uncle got me! Yeah! AND Silent Hill 1. OMG! That game is CREEPY!! ;__; Ohh... I got   
to the really saaaad part today!! Wahhh!! It made me cry!! Poor *censored due to unwanted   
spoiling*!!! She was all CRYING, then I started CRYING, and the main character didn't but you   
KNOW he WANTED to cry, but he was just to scared for his life at the moment, or something.   
...Yeah, Silent Hill is kewl. I really didn't think that a survival/horror game could make   
someone sad. *sniff!!*  
  
You know, one of the really fun and kewl things about fanfiction is FANCHARS. I shall create   
several to amuse myself during the Underworld scenes I'm planning.  
Heh. YOu know what?? I REALLY, REALLY love the name Fausta. Ah, I remember I used to keep   
ranting about how great my Latin name was to the class. Heh. Really. Latin was a great class.   
I'll miss it. In FACT, I miss it right now! It really became a part of me. Most of us,   
actually. I mean, all that cooperation, and togetherness, and knowledge... We even respond to   
our Latin names as quickly as our real ones! Sigh. RIP, I guess.  
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
Chapter Seventeen: Like a Mortal  
  
----------------------------------------  
  
  
Fausta the now-mortal Wing sat leaning against the outer fence of her base. The house's   
computer absolutely refused to let her in, and she was waiting for Faust to order the thing   
to let her enter.  
  
  
*FLASHBACK of just a few minutes ago--  
  
"Compy, what's wrong?? Why is the door locked?" the Wing questioned tiredly, wringing out   
her hair, which was soaked with water from Dib to Zim attacks. A few soap bubbles floated out  
from the soppy mop of hair.  
  
No answer.  
  
"Compy! Stop being so mean to me!! C'mon! Open this door right now!" the Onyx Wing shouted  
irrittably.  
  
"I'll NOT let an IMPOSTER in," the machine replied in a snobbish way.  
  
"IMPOSTER!?! It's ME, Compy!!" she growled. "Remember the time I accidentally destroyed the  
water dams on Blorch, and turned everything within a twenty mile-radius a filthy swamp?? And you  
yelled at me for getting you all short circuity, so I switched you off for a few days and  
tried to infect you with viruses??"  
  
The computer fell silent and beeped a bit. "I didn't like that..." .... "But your still an  
IMPOSTOR!!! SCRAM!!"  
The house's computer had the ground that the "impostor" was standing on, suddenly become all  
sparkly with electricity!! So pretty!!  
  
"AHHHHHHH!!!!"  
  
*END OF FLASHBACK  
  
  
"...That was NOT kewl." Fausta scowled. She rubbed her eyes, which itched horribly, and were  
getting dark rings around them.  
  
The Dib-Human suddenly came walking by. He tilted his head at his female rival and smiled.  
"What's wrong, Fausta?? Your teacher or whatever kick you out the house??" ^___^ He's smiling!!  
  
The Wing sighed. "For your information, DIB, it's the COMPUTER that will not allow me to enter  
my home, and Faust just doesn't care."  
  
Dib contemplated this quickly. "Whoo! Well that stinks for you! Hehe! Toodles!" (He's in a happy  
mood because he got Zim GOOOOD today!)  
  
o.-;; "Uh huh..."  
The Wing didn't really feel like being alone at the moment. She'd probably be stuck outside for  
some half of the day, and decided she'd have some company for a while.  
"Dib-Human."  
  
"Stay! Talk! Or become even more DOOMed than you are now..." : /  
  
Dib shrugged. "Fine! Whatever. I was just taking a stroll around the neighborhood, but I guess  
I can take notes instead." He got out his notebook.  
  
"Huh." She yawned. "So, you glad that your second year of HI SKOOL is almost over? Going to  
go frolic about in City Center Park and feed ferrets?? Torture your enemies?"  
  
Dib looked up. "Uh...I guess. Hey, you don't look so well. ..Which is a good thing for me  
though. Heh." He scribbled something down. (Fausta's not well. Good for me.)  
  
"Yeah, yeah, I know. I've been really tired recently..." -.-  
  
"Well, have you been getting enough rest? Your not all Wingish like before you know. I suppose  
that's what's wrong," Dib rattled out some advice, nanchalantly.  
"... WAIT!! What am I DOING!? I'M HELPING YOU!?!?!" Dib shoved his notebook away, and started to  
walk away. "Man, what am I THINKING!?"  
  
"HOLD IT!!" There was an evil glint in Fausta's eye. Why hadn't she thought of it before?!?  
  
Dib froze. Then he began to sprint away.  
  
"Aw, Styx..." And Fausta started chasing after the Human.  
  
Okay, cut to about five minutes later.  
  
The two are still running. They're currently running down a street.  
  
Huff, puff, they pant! Like this big hairy dog on this one summer day, who stupidly is chasing  
its tail around in a circle, in the scorching daylight! The dog eventually stops, out of energy  
and whines in agony from dehydration and bad stuff like that, and BLAO!! It EX-SPLOADS!!! In  
bunches and gobs of hunks of meat and bone! YUM!! ...Wait! That's pretty disgusting, isn't it!?  
*cough*  
  
Fausta suddenly has an idea, and feels really stupid and mad at herself. "AW, STYX!!"  
She flares out her wings, and catches a soft breeze of hot summer air. She begins to soar right  
above the Dib-Human, effortlessly.  
"Hah HAH!! Give up, Dib-beast!! Your pathETIC ambulatory abilities cannot COMPARE to my grand  
aerial skills!!"  
  
The Human stopped, with an angry look. "Hey! You couldn't even CATCH me while we were running!!  
How are MY ambulatory abilities 'PATHETIC'!?"  
  
"..... Be quiet!!" She let her wings go limp so she could fall/land upon Dib's big head. Really,  
it's HUMONGOUS!! You CAN'T miss!! If she missed, wo, would she be ASHAMED of her aerial skills!!  
  
"OWW!" cried the Dib-Human as Fausta jumped away. He rubbed his head.  
"So, what IS IT that you chased me down, and jumped on my head for, anyway?"  
  
"Dib, you being an abnormally intelligent mortal Human all your rather short-so-far, yet valde  
eventful life, I require YOU to teach me ....how to live ..like a healthy mortal HUMan." The  
last word, 'Human' was hissed out in disgust.  
  
Dib blinked. "...Do I have to??"  
  
"Yes!"  
  
"But I don't want to!"  
  
"Do it, or suffer my doomful wrath!!"  
  
"Nooo... I think I can stay away from your doom if I'm careful enough."  
  
".... You spew NONSENSE, Human! Now teach me!!"  
  
"....Nnnn....no."  
  
"... .... ....... Please, Dib??"  
  
o.O; "Huh??"  
  
"PLEASE!! I said 'PLEASE', YOU FOOL!! Pleeeeezzzz!! By the waters of Styx, I HATE that word!!"  
Fausta shook her fists in the air. "And YOU'VE forced me to use it so MANY TIMES!!! It sounds so  
STUPID!! 'PLEASE' 'PLEASE'!! Just LOOK at it!! Listen to it!! It's HORRIBLE!!"  
  
"..Uh, okaaaay... Well, we have to make a deal, then." Dib's feeling very victorious.  
  
T.T;; "What is this ...'deeeal'... that you speak of?"  
  
"Well, I'll teach you how to be like a normal person as best as I can, BUT... I want something  
in return."  
  
"But of course! What is it!? I warn you, I cannot and WILL not make any treaties!!"  
  
Dib shook his head. "I knew you'd say so. I was just wondering, since that strange day when you  
were rambling something about magicks or supernatural powers."  
(Some previous chapter, where Tenn arrives. The water is all not-flowing into the Bitter's room.)  
"What DO you know about that stuff, anyway??"  
  
Fausta's eyes widened. "Uh... Not much, really! Dangerous stuff, you know! You should stay away  
from it for the sake of all Earthkind, you know!"  
  
"NO!" Dib leapt forward. "I want to learn more about the SUPERnatural, just as you need to learn  
about the UN-supernatural! GHOSTS! SPELLS! BIGFOOT! UFOs!! ORACLES! All that stuff, MORE,  
and a bag of chips!!! I'm STARVING from all that running!!"  
  
Fausta, exhausted mentally and physically, decided to let the Human win this argument.  
"Alright! ...I suppose the best place to learn about that stuff is in the Underword. The city  
by Styx, subROMA. Marcellus, our local general genius, will be our guide. He knows tons more  
about the stuff than me. We'll go when sir Marcellus makes the time."  
  
Dib's eyes go all big and shiny and glimmery. Sorta like Gaz in front of pizza, but in a Dib-like  
way. "You've got yourself a deal!!"  
  
A reluctant handshake ensues to traditionally confirm the deal.  
The two darkly-clad hands link like a closing drawbridge to doom.  
  
---------------------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Well! It's very short, but I'm using a different writing program, since my dad got  
rid of the old one, and I'm hoping it'll work okay. I'm guessing it will... Ooh, I hope I don't  
jinx myself with all this rambling! Heh, I don't believe in the stuff, but it happens a lot,  
strangely enough.  
I REALLY like the two last lines of the fic chater, you know. Hehe. To DOOM. So wonderful.  
So appropriate.  
You know, I'm pressing enter whenever the words reach the end of my computer screen, so this  
chapter probably looks really weird. It's REALLY annoying.  
  
The LESSON of THIS Chapter-- No matter what your doctor or general surgeon says, a bag of chips  
WILL fill you up healthily. 


	18. Underworld DOOM Part 1- Why me?

pureVENOM: Oh wow, it's warm. Correction, it's HOT. 86 degrees in house= sweaty Fausta.  
And I've discovered just how horrible it is to vacuum in sweltering heat. Eh, I said I'd   
do it, though. So I did.  
EEEE!! I'm so happy to see more reviewers!! I welcome all!! I welcome you all with a  
another doomy chapter! And an insanely big smile! ^___________________^  
  
----------------------------------------------------  
  
Chapter Nineteen: Underworld DOOM Part1- Why me?  
  
----------------------------------------------------  
  
"Oh yeah!" Dib snatched up the several neon-colored sticky notes from the desk. "Notes  
from today!" He slapped them onto Fausta's forehead. "Don't lose 'em!"  
  
"Right," she mumbled.  
  
Anyway, so the two travel on, outside, down and across the streets- here's a short scene   
from one of the times.  
  
**A RANDOM STREET SCENE--  
'VRoooOOOoOOooMMM!!' go the cars, motorcycles, and trucks that zoom by, almost hitting  
a gloomy-looking Fausta who wasn't paying attention to the road she was crossing.  
She snapped her head up. "What the--!? HEY! HEY! YEAH, YOU BETTER RUN, HUUUUMAN!!!" she  
shouted angrily to the now out-of-sight car.  
  
Dib slapped his face. Then, he headed to the big pole-thingies at the side of the road,   
and pressed the 'I want to cross the street' button.  
"Look, I already told you, you have to press the button, and watch the roa--"  
  
But he realized Fausta wasn't paying attention.  
  
"HEY! STOP! I command yaz to stop now!! People CROSSING HERE!! PEOPLE FIRST!! HEY!   
C'MON!" she shouted at the stream of cars.  
  
*later on--  
  
  
The two finally reach the secret entrance in the Center City Park.  
  
"FINALLY! The secret entrance in Center City Park!" cried an exasperated Dib.  
  
"Oh sure, just let EVERYBODY know," grumbled Fausta.  
  
"There's NO ONE here!" Dib screeched. He was very tired of his grumpy company.  
  
"Yess. That's what they WANT you to think." Zim popped out from a nearby tree branch.  
  
Fausta was looking very nervous, the Irken could tell. What was wrong with the Wing?  
Where was that usual stew-pid confidence and illogical glee?  
Eh. What did it matter? The more unhappy SHE was, the happier HE would be.  
  
"Well, lady first, I guess," said Dib, gesturing toward the seeecret entrance to  
Marcellus's lab.  
  
Fausta scowled, opened the seeecret door, and entered. "As if you'd ever consider me  
a 'LADY'."  
  
"Good point."  
  
Zim blinked as he was left alone. Gasp! They didn't even QUESTION his being here!?  
"...Hey! Don't you two ignore ZIIIIM!!!!"  
  
So anyhoo, the three approach Marcellus, who's rubbing his ringed eyes, yawning,  
and watching a computer screen boredly.  
  
"Salve, Marcellus," said Fausta with a falsely happy voice. "Quid agis? Potesne ducere  
subROMAM hodie?" ('Greetings, Marcellus. How are you? Are you able to take us to subROMA  
today?' something like that.)  
  
Marcellus blinked sleepily. "Huh?? Uh, sure, yeah, Fausta." He stood up slowly,   
stretched, and brushed off his robes. They were pretty new, and were already covered in a   
thin layer of dust, from his sedentary-ness.  
"Hm, just let me get my map..." He turned to a comically humongous and messy pile of   
papers a few feet away.  
  
The trio immediately were overcome by disappointment. How long would it take for the   
Obsidian to find the right map in that mountain of pages??  
  
Marcellus shoved his arm into the heap, all the way up to the shoulder, and after a few  
moments, pulled out..... the map to and of subROMA!!  
"See the advantages of being organized, kids?" he asked. No one could tell if he was  
joking or not, though.  
  
"What's been up, Marcellus?" asked a cheery Dib.  
  
"Nothing much..." replied the sleep-less researcher. "Oh except... A little while ago, a  
rather scary young lady whom I believe to be actually an Irken in an extremely good  
disguise-- for an Irken anyway---"  
  
Zim, his wig and eye-lenses off, twitched his antennae at that 'for an Irken' comment.  
  
"who's plotting out the destruction of our worlds with a SIR who's also EXTREMELY well  
disguised-- for an Irken-originated item anyway---"  
  
"Would you PLEEEZ desist your putting down of the Irken race, my good Wing?" Zim grudgingly  
asked of Marcellus.  
  
"Yeah, sure. In anycase, an Irken woman and her SIR headed off to subROMA. ANOTHER Irken   
woman, whom I believe is CRAAAAZY headed off after them. Styx, was she CRAZY, And people   
say I need help! Oy!"  
  
"Is it just me, or does it seem your enemies are a step ahead of you, Zim?" questioned  
Dib, smirking.  
  
Zim narrowed his crimson eyes. "Silence, Dib-worm! My enemies are NOTHING!! They shall  
soon be DOOMed from the wrath of ZIM!! I am FAR too uh... GREAT to--"  
  
"Right, Zim," growled Fausta. "Marcellus, do continue. Did anyone else run off towards   
subROMA??"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Good."  
  
"Oh, wait! Yeah, one MORE person! I can't believe she's back already! She's MONTHS ahead  
of schedule!" responded Marcellus.  
  
"Huh... Months ahead...? It's NOT..." began a freaked out Fausta.  
  
"Yeah, Ferona's back!! Or 'LILITH' as you youngsters like to call her."  
  
"Oh, Styx!! By the heads of Cerberus!!" The Onyx Wing ran back, to a small arsenal. "I DON'T  
need to be here!! I am SO gone!!" She pawed about at all sorts of different bucklers, blades,  
and explosives.  
  
"Hey, a deal's a deal," said Dib, all too excited about venturing into the lands of Earth   
so unknown.  
  
"I know. I hate you Dib." The young Wing turned around to reveal a moose's worth of weaponry.   
(Heh, I really dunno just how much that is.)  
  
"Well, let us forge on, then!" announced Zim. "To new disgusting Earthen frontiers!"  
  
Fausta, decked out in a valde weighty medieval-lookin' helmet three sizes too big, a small   
buckler on either arms, pockets stuffed full of knives and winged grenades, and dragging  
a heavy mace behind her, couldn't help but feel her two rivals seemed WAY too happy.  
  
* A few minutes later  
  
Dib had a tape recorder in hand, and was talking excitely. Recording, he found, was a much   
faster way to take note of things.  
"Wow, I can't believe I'm really traveling in an underground tunnel in an underground  
vehicle, right here in underground Earth!"  
  
Well, let's fast forward, and listen to the tape, in a nice script form. Because, I am lazy.  
  
DIB: Wow, I can't believe I'm really traveling in an underground tunnel in an underground   
vehicle, right here in underground Earth!"  
  
FAUSTA: *irritated* How many more times must we listen to you say 'underground'??  
  
MARCELLUS: No bickering, now, kids. This is obviously a very traumatizing situation for the   
Human, while it's very exciting for you, Fausta.  
  
ZIM: Hm? Don't you have that backwards?  
  
MARCELLUS: Of course not.  
  
ZIM: *to Fausta* Eh? What're those stick-papers covered in nonsense doing on your head?  
  
FAUSTA: *sarcastically* They're the sign of evil, the mark of Dib, and I'm supposed to not lose   
them.  
  
DIB: ...Anyhoo, we must be moving about two hundred miles an hour! It's great!  
  
FAUSTA: Actually, we're moving much faster than that, and if we somehow crash, most probably  
due to our foes sabatoging this vehicle, we are VERY doomed.  
  
MARCELLUS: That doesn't sound very pleasant. C'mon. This runner's absolutely perfectly safe!  
  
DIB: There's so much going on down here! I mean, it's not as populated as our world, but the  
Underworld's more lively than I thought it'd be! There're.. towns, I can see, and all sorts  
of buildings! A good sign of a rich culture! There must be a large variety of people too!  
The artificial lighting is rather sparse, but I'm guessing that the residents of the  
Underworld have much more develpoed eyesight than us Humans.  
  
FAUSTA: 'US HUMANS', Dib? I only see ONE Human around at the moment.  
  
DIB: I'm making this recording for future explorers and fellow scientists to study. Shh!  
  
FAUSTA: Whatever.  
  
ZIM: *sigh* *a rustling can be heard as he unwraps an Irken sandwich* *lound munching and  
chewing sounds can be heard*  
  
DIB: Now, that's just the sound of the alien eating some kind of alien sandwich.  
  
FAUSTA: 'Alien sandwich'?? You DO know how stupid that sounds, right?  
  
DIB: ... ANYWAY, there's a fantastic view of magma. I mean, it's apparently, EVERYWHERE.  
The bulidings and vehicles are somehow protected from the extreme heat though. It's actually  
COOL in here, and we're zooming right on top of the molten rock! Marcellus, my researching  
kindred spirit, would you mind telling us how this works?  
  
MARCELLUS: Eh, magicks.  
  
DIB: Haha! A good one, Marcellus! Really though. How--... You're serious?  
  
MARCELLUS: Uh huh.  
  
DIB: Umm... Okaaaay... The stuff here's protected by MAGICKS! Wow, um. ..Yeah. Well, uh, I   
guess I'll switch this off for now. Gotta save the batteries! I'm gonna see a lot more once I  
get off of this runner!  
  
There's a click as the tape recorder goes off, and the fic returns to non-script form.  
  
Dib latched his hands onto Marcellus's sleeve. He had a crazed look on his face. "Marcellus,  
you HAVE to tell me all about this place when we get off! It's the discovery of the   
millenium!!! It's the most amazing thing since buttered toast!!!!"  
  
Everyone but Marcellus then flies several feet to the side as the underground runner lurched   
to a sudden stope. Marcellus had been expecting the stop and was holding onto the handgrip  
thingies above him.  
  
"We've stopped?" asked Dib anxiously.  
  
Marcellus nodded.  
  
"Oh, YEAH!!!" Dib flicked his tape recorder back on. "Alright! The runner's finally stopped!  
We're all leaving the vehicle--"  
  
"Are you going to tell those future scientists and explorers EVERYTHING you do? If so, they'll  
go into a coma from boredom, at listening to your blathering," said Fausta.  
  
Dib ignored her, and just hoped she wasn't right.  
"We're before a... MAGNIFICENT city!! The streets are dim and crowded with... HUMANS!! ..Or  
Humanoids anyway. I shouldn't get so presumptuous."  
  
Yep, there were valde Human-lookin' peeps around. Some ghostly (ghosts!?) pale, others onyx dark.  
They were in different colors as well, their skin, hair, nails, feathers, et cetera-- from   
lavender to blue to pink to green, and all them colors in between.  
They wore flowing dresses, pieces of armor and chainmail, robes, capes, and more. However, the   
clothing tended to be in either very deep and dark colors, or very light pastel ones. Dib   
figured it was from some cultural difference.  
The Human tourist could pick out some zombies, ghosts, yeti, Mer-people, and other strange   
creatures. It was like the Dib had died and gone to a paranormal investigator heaven.  
Diverse society indeed.  
  
Zim twitched his antennae a bit, trying the catch the new scents and auras of the Underworld   
peeps. "Actually, it seems a large number of them have the same Human STENCH as you do,   
Dib-beast."  
  
"WOW! HUMANS!? But why would some be living down here, while the rest live up above, with no   
knowledge of aliens or magicks??" Dib questioned to no one in particular.  
  
The loud, big-headed Human was beginning to get some stares.  
Marcellus was busy answering Dib's question, but somehow Dib chose this moment to not be   
listening, and just rambling on about how great this was.  
  
Fausta was sweatdropping in nervousness. She did not appreciate the attention the Dib was   
racking. "Shut-up, Dib-beast!! You want EVERYONE in subROMA to know we're from ...'above'??"  
  
Dib still wasn't listening. ZIM was, however.  
  
"...Is there some sort of horrible event that could occur with the inhabitants of this world  
knowing we're from out of area?" he asked quietly.  
  
"Well, yes. For one thing, with bunches of attention, it'll be easier for Tak and Tenn to find   
you, while it'd be easier for Lil' to find ME! ALSO, a lot of the peeps in the Underworld don't  
exactly LIKE Wings. ZIM, can you shut that Dib-chatterbox up!?" Fausta hissed.  
  
"Of course, my feathery rival." Zim grinned. This'd be EASIER than he expected!  
  
"THERE HE IS!! ZIIIIIIMMMM!!!!"  
  
--------------------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Eh. I'm cutting this chapter short. It was planned to be much longer, but this little  
window came up and said that there's no more space or something.  
  
Lesson of this Chapter: Um, Dib... has a tape recorder. (Yeah.. I'm feeling brain-tired.) 


	19. Underworld DOOM Part 2- Unrest

pureVENOM: Meow. Hehe!! In this part, where they're playing Fatal Frame, which is currently my   
newest PS2 game. It's very scary. I've been avoiding playing it recently.   
Eh, just read and enjoy, I guess.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chapter Twenty: Underworld DOOM Part 2- Unrest  
  
----------------------------------------------------------  
  
Zim let out a strangled sound as a crazed Invader Tenn hit him with a few laser blasts. Ouch.  
  
"ARGH! I AM ZIM!! WHO DARES!?!" Zim looked and saw Tenn. "H-huh!!? Ah, Invader Tenn!! Eh...  
Good day to you, Soldier!! Please, leave me alone!"  
  
Tenn's left eye twitched. She began giggling, then laughing, then laughing hysterically. o.0;;  
She then stopped abruptly and scowled, pulling back the trigger on her laser which was pointed   
at Zim's face.  
  
A small boy chose that time however, to come running outta nowhere and smack into Tenn, making   
her shot go wild.  
The boy had a terrified look in his eye, and he was snow-pale, either natur--eh, super-naturally  
or from fear. "green-lady! please, you have to help me!!"  
  
But Tenn in fury, shrieked and shoved the child away.  
  
A lavender-skinned woman in black and garnet armor with battish leathery wings swooped the kid   
up. Moving quickly, that was really all anyone could tell.   
The boy's screaming caught Dib's attention.  
  
"Hey!! That kid's being abducted!! By a... flying,...thing!" Dib cried. "We have to save him!!"  
  
Marcellus rose a brow. "Human-child, really, I truly don't think that we should--"  
  
"I! AM! DIB!!"  
  
Zim frowned, feeling that Dib stole his line.  
  
Dib looked around quickly, and found a convenient Chicky Licky's Dirty Chicken grappling hook   
toy in his pocket! He flung the hook out, and it wrapped itself about the soaring kidnapper's   
ankles.  
  
"AHH!! HEY!! I'm caught!! In a chicken beak!! ZARGHHH!!!" the winged lady declared, as she and   
child plummeted to the ground.  
  
A lot of people began to crowd around the unconscious two, but most were chased off by the   
winged-one's friend, a lady who could be a mix of Dib's father, and the host of Mysterious   
Mysteries if it wasn't for her two-colored hair. The right half was silver, while the other was   
black. Her hair was LONG, and shaped lika thunderbolt! Like the Prof.!  
She took up her long black robes and sashes and glared at Dib, the Wings, and the Irkens  
in a reprehending way through her shiny goggles.  
  
"How dare you hurt my friend, Aula!?"  
  
Fausta was very scared. "I am SO dead. I don't wanna be here. Why AM I Here anyway?? I hate you   
Dib."  
  
Everyone was stiff and silent. Well, except for Marcellus, who's fallen asleep standing, from   
exhaustion.  
  
The goggled lady started. "Alright. Tourists." She sighed. "I'm Iunilla, the greatest necromaster  
of all time." She looked over at Fausta who was trembling and shifting her eyes around in a  
valde paranoid manner.  
"Oh, you're not happy to see your hometown again, Wing??"  
  
"Uh uh! I don't like the Underworld, and it don't like me!!" she answered.  
  
"Hey, it's still your hometown! Visit it now and then!" Iunilla retorted.  
  
"And get myself killed in the process!? It be dangerous down here! ESPECIALLY for Wings!!" Fausta  
argued.  
  
"Well, then you and your friends can stay at my place! HAH! Now you have no excuse!" said the   
necromaster victoriously.  
  
"Well-- ...What?? You actually want to HELP me? That's something new. Oh, and Dib, Zim, and Tenn  
AREN'T my friends."   
  
"Oh really? I think you four kids make sucha cute little group!" Iunilla beamed. "Well, Fausta--"  
  
"AAHHHHHH!!!"  
  
"Wh-"  
  
"AHHHHHHHH!!!!!"  
  
"What is it!?" Iunilla said in alarm, lowering her brows.  
  
"How do you know my NAAAAMEEE!!?? It'sa seeecret!!"  
  
"No it isn't, and I work at the Wingen cloning station here in subROMA. And there aren't too   
many of you guys, so it's easy to keep track."  
  
"Oh. Yeah, you're right. So very right."  
  
Dib stepped forward. "Hello, Iunilla!" He shook her gloved hand. "Nevermind her! She's a little  
insane! Please, tell me about yourself and your field!"  
  
Anyway, this's the time that Aula and the kid wake up. Aula sees the Human who knocked her out,  
and returns the favor with a kick from a taloned foot.  
  
  
* Eleven minutes later--  
  
Dib slowly opens his eyes to a dimly lit room. He's lying on a valde comfortable sofa. Ooh, all  
plushie and silky. Well, what kind of furniture do ya expect from one of the most powerful,  
nicest, intelligent, and popular redsidents of the Underworld?  
"My...face...hurts."  
  
Aula cringed. "Uh yeah. Sorry about that. I was a little mad at ya for making me crash into the  
COBBLESTONE GROUND."  
  
The boy who'd been shouting for help earlier had a collar about his neck, with a pendant that   
read: 'SPECKLE'  
"sigh. thanks for trying to help me, human," groaned the kid.  
  
"Where am I?" Dib grimaced as he sat up and turned on his tape recorder.  
  
"Where in the safest place in all the Underworld!" said Iunilla cheerily.  
  
"Which still isn't saying much," mumbled Fausta. "But thanks, Iunilla. You sure are nice for a  
Human."  
  
"Thanks," said Iunilla genuinely, knowing that this was a compliment, however akward it was.  
  
"Hey, who are you, anyway, ...Speckle?" asked Dib.  
  
"my name's really dolorus. i'm a vampire, the last one, too. i'm surprised to see a human   
attempting to help me, a vamp--"  
  
"A VAMPIRE!!???" Dib cried, making everyone look at him.  
  
Dolorus just put on a crestfallen expression.  
  
"Hey, that was mean," Marcellus commented.  
  
"When can I get outta here??" complained Fausta. "I'll be killed! Some grudgy monster'll come up  
with a straw, stick it in my face, and SUCK MY HEAD DRY!!!"  
  
"You're just being stupidly paranoid," came Tak's voice.  
  
"HUH!? What are YOU doing in here!?" growled Zim.  
  
"MeMi and I were seen. The security in here's insane. Literally." She shrugged. "So I ran into   
here." She offed her disguise while MeMi held the door closed.  
  
"Oh great. Now only ONE MORE person needs to find us..." Fausta groaned.  
  
"I saw her being chased off by a mob of Underworlders. Heh. You're lucky, I guess." Tak narrowed   
her purple eyes and sat herself down.  
  
"YOU!!!" Zim continued. "I will NOT succumb to your evil schemes!! Your cursed--"  
  
"Zim, stop screaming. Or you'll soon be missing very important screaming organs," warned   
Marcellus.  
  
Zim shut himself up.  
  
** Meanwhile--  
  
Lilith scowled darkly, as she pressed herself tightly against the stucco wall of some random  
residental building. She breathed rapidly, since she'd just been running several miles top  
speed, non-stop. -_-;;;  
Why did the lousy ship have to be defective, and make her turn back to Earth? Of course, at   
overhearing the Dib and Fausta's conversation, she HAD to go and try to track the girl down.  
Yargh. This stinkiths.  
The Steel Wing hopped back out and hurled a duo of Cherry Bombs. BLAO! They offed a few of her   
pursuers, but--  
  
She staggered to the ground as a rain of bullets showered upon her. They only hit her armor,  
but the force knocked her windless and to the ground.  
  
A stream of air kept Lilith down. It was like a ton of bricks weighing down on her shoulder,  
arms, and stomach, but... not. It was a wispy wind.  
  
The aeromancer performing the spell grinned and slapped hands with one of the gunners.  
  
"Good work, buddy."  
  
"Anything to get rid of those disgusting Wings."  
  
"Of course."  
  
Lil gave an evil eye to her Wing-hating attackers and their automatic weapons. "What a lovely  
bunch of hating little fools."  
  
The gunner only aimed his piece at Lilith's face.  
  
"You'd all look even better with your flesh torn and burnt like your comrades up there," growled  
the captive Wing.  
  
The gunner frowned and tightened his trigger finger, while comrades closed in, in the background.  
  
"FILTH! You disGUST me!!" she continued.  
  
Someone in the background stepped forward indignantly. "At least WE don't conquer people or kill   
for money and soda!!"  
  
"What!" Steel Wing Lilith spat. (not literally) "I don't oppress others! And who SAYS it's about   
MONEY!? You're all just as sightless as you were before!! Pathetic Humans with your boomy guns!!   
Disgracing the name of our metals by maiming them into those wretched weapons' forms!! You're  
all your own deaths! Your very existence SHALL result in your destruction! Don't you see the  
beauty of it!? It doesn't MATTER if I'M eliminated! You're all going to DIE!!"  
  
The gun goes off shortly after that disturbing speech from the Wing Mercenary. However, unknown  
to the Wing-hunters, Lilith had achieved possesion of some powerful explosives while up in   
Marcellus's lab, and she had a claw on the detonator hidden in her large sleeves.  
  
  
* Now, up at the Cloning Factory  
  
Fausta's eyes widened to humongo basketballs for a second. "EEKK!! What wazzat!?!" she hissed,   
referring to the huge explosion they all just heard.  
"They're attacking!! MEEEEE!!!"  
  
:/ Iunilla picked up the quivering girl by the collar, and tossed her into a large room with a  
TV and video game console.  
"Here. Just rot your mind with some gaming until you relax, Fausta."  
  
O.O;;;;; "NOOOOOO!!! DON'T LEAVE!! THEY'LL GET ME!!!" She began to run for the entrance, but a   
heavy loud thing thrown in after her caused her to tumble over backwards.  
  
The necromaster shut the door and locked it. She sighed in relief, being rid of the overly-  
paranoid girl, and the crazy alien.  
  
Fausta and Tenn's loud/angry shouts could be heard rather well behind the thick door, and there  
was much kicking, and punching, and striking of the door.  
  
Zim grinned and chuckled to himself. He looked out one of the many round, bubble-like windows,  
upon the view outside. The weirdos out there... They looked like.. the picture of demons that  
the computer had shown him so many years ago. It had made the educated guess that demons were  
the founders of the alien-fighting FBI.  
"Aula-beast! You claim to be a 'DAEmon', correct?"  
  
"Yeah..." she responded, flicking her pointy ears in boredom.  
  
"Then YOUR people must've created the ...FBI!!"  
  
"..What...?" she asked, nonchalantly, not understanding.  
  
"TELL ME~!!! WHY!?!?"  
  
"Oh, shut-up. You're crazy."  
  
"YOU'RE in DENIAL!!!"  
  
"You're loony."  
  
"You're LYING!!!"  
  
"Quiet, already! You're one cuckoo alien, I tells ya!!" (It's AMAZING how many ways you can say  
crazy, ain't it??)  
  
"NEVERRRRR!!!! WHAT HAVE YOU AGAINST THE IRKENS!?!"  
  
"Nothing! You deranged, mad, daft LUNATIC!"  
  
Dib was talking excitedly as ususal. "Oh wow, Zim's idiotically starting up an argument with the   
daemon Aula, and they've just gotten rid of one of the ALIENS, and the wingy invader. Now, I'm   
about to speak to a necromaste--"  
  
Iunilla gave a lowered eyebrow aw-man-why-me? look. "Human, you aren't going to ask me and my   
friend a million questions now, are you?"  
  
Dib blinked. ".... Well... Not a MILLION.."  
  
"..."  
  
"Please??"  
  
"huh... human, really. this isn't a place for tourists," warned the little vampire kiddie. "you  
wanna learn about the Underworld, go read that one big book the marcellus-wing wrote about this  
place."  
  
Dib shot a glance to Marcellus, who gave a sheepish expression back.  
"You wrote a big BOOK about the Underworld and you didn't TELL me??!?"  
  
"Um.. You didn't ask...?"  
  
Dib smacked his forehead. "Alright. No problem. Then I'll just ask for the book and study it over   
this summer vacation. Yes! This's great! Um.. Okay, the daemon looks like she wants to say  
something."  
  
Aula frowned. " 'Nilla..! These kid-things are disturbing and weird! Can I toss them with the   
Onyx Wing until they all decide to leave??"  
  
"Sure. Go ahead," was the reply. "But then, I don't see why you like that little vampire so   
much."  
  
"He's my wittle Speckle!!" cried the daemon Aula, and she huggled Dolor after forcing Zim, Dib,  
and Tak into the room with Fausta and Tenn.  
  
  
--In the little room  
  
Tak scowled in the corner farthest away from everybody, her arms crossed, and her antennae  
twitching in her irritation of being shoved into confinement with a bunch of MORONS.  
"I didn't DO ANYTHING to be thrown in here with you FOOLS."  
  
"Huh, you became involved with Zim, the bringer of doom," corrected Fausta.  
  
"Yes, I AM ZIIM!!!"  
  
"Quiet," Tenn growled. Her red eyes almost glowed scarily with wrath.  
  
"Eh.. eh...! ZIM does not DESERVE to be mewed up in this chamber!!" the male Irken said,   
nervously.  
  
Fausta glowered at the only Human in the room. "You know, we'll be free to leave once DIB wants  
to go..."  
  
"Heheh.." Dib tried to ignore that last line. He rewinded his tape partway and began to listen  
to its information.  
  
"Um, how about we MAKE the Dib want to leave?" suggested Zim, trying to hide his fear.  
  
"And pass up this PERFECT opportunity to destroy YOU, Zim? Nowhere to run, and nowhere to hide?  
You must be KIDDING!!!" Tenn looked very un-sane.  
  
"Somehow, I don't feel safe around you Irkens." Fausta sat in a semi-curled up position on the   
foot of a bed, with her knees drawn up to her chin. Her eyes scanned the room warily.  
  
There were pictures of the small vampire boy, and the name 'SPECKLE' written on them all over  
the walls. This room must be his, she thought, and looked over the people.  
There was Tenn, Tak, Zim, and Dib, all doing their own thing for the moment.  
Tak was still fuming in the corner, indignantly.  
Zim was seated on the far end of a small sofa, watching his enemies carefully, while twiddling  
his thumbs.  
Dib was still listening over his tape. He seemed the only happy one in the room.  
Tenn... well, she was insane, and crouched by a GameSlaveMaster IV which was hooked up to a TV.  
  
Mmmm... video game....  
  
Fausta slowly stood up, hopped off the bed, and walked toward the game console in a very   
zombieish manner. "Mmm... Game..."  
  
"How can you even THINK about ELECTRONIC ENTERTAINMENT at the moment, Wing-beast!?" questioned  
Zim, disbelieveing.  
  
"But, but...! I hafta see what GAME'S in there!!" the Onyx Wing tried to explain. "I NEED TO!!!"  
She flipped on the TV and console, and pressed the CD eject button.  
"Ooooohh...."  
She picked up the CD to see...  
  
"What is 'FATAL FRAME'?" demanded Zim loudly, now right behind Fausta.  
  
"AGH! Don't sneak up on me like that! Or you shall SUFFER!! Suffer HORRIBLE SUFFERING!!" Fausta  
warned.  
  
"Hah! You got that line from the Dib's sibling!" mocked Zim.  
  
"Silence! I've heard great things about this game! I MUST PLAAAAY!!"  
She turned to Dib. "Human, take all the time you need. Preferably a few hours."  
  
"What? It won't take me THAT long to kill Zim," said a grumpy Tak, narrowing her purple eyes.  
  
Dib finally looked up from his tape recorder. "What's holding you back, anyway? Why not get  
rid of Zim now?"  
  
"HEY!!" screeched the male Irken.  
  
"I'll deal with him. I've got plenty of time."  
  
"I wanna watch TV!!" cried a happy, high-pitched voice.  
  
Everybody perked their ears. What!? Who could THAT be!?  
  
"Hehe!! TV is my friend! It knows things! And Kil's my friend too!"  
  
That could only be... GIR!! But where!?  
  
Tak looked down at her feet. Her MeMi was still in cat-form, but now he was standing on two feet,  
and his oculars were bright green.  
"Wh-what!? MeMi!! What's wrong with you!?!" the Irken cried.  
Could the moron Zim and his idiot SIR have done something to her MeMi again?  
  
"Aww! My name's not MeMi! Neither is Jkjasugfuagjh!!"  
  
"Wh...?"  
  
"I'm GIR! No forgetting!!" The cat-bot shook itself, causing its black outer metal plates to  
fall, clanking to the floor, revealing none other than GIR.  
  
"But HOW?" Tak demanded.  
  
"It'sa secret!"  
  
"No, it isn't, GIR. I command you to tell me!" Tak continued.  
  
"GIR says 'say pretty please!' " GIR crooned.  
  
" 'Pretty please'," Tak complied without difficulty, unlike Zim would've done in the same   
position. It just showed that she was a better invader, and Irken in general. Mwa hah!  
  
"Okie dokie!!! Well... It alllll started out a LONG time ago! Before the flowers opened, and  
dinosaurs! Because I'm OLD! I'm THIS many years old!" GIR started to hold up his finger, but  
found that he had not enough, and forgot about it. "And then.."  
  
Tak's already scowling face fell. "..."  
  
"...the mongooses danced and were happy. But the mongeese didn't WANT the pomegranate!! Then  
we beated allll the broccoli with spoons."  
  
"Please, can you get to the part where you dress up like MeMi, GIR?" asked the purple-eyed Irken.  
  
"Um, yes!!"  
  
  
Now, the screen goes into this flashback.  
We can see Tak and MeMi running to Center City Park. GIR is sucking on a chocolate-bubblegum  
Brainfreezy and watching people run.  
"Hehe. They're running."  
When he realized that he KNEW these people, he began to run too! Squirrels scrambled in the way,   
to hinder GIR's path, but he just ran through them, and eating the ones that jumped on him!  
Nothing would stop him from saying... 'HIIIIII!!!' to the weird Irken girl and her nice cat!  
  
Now, while Tak was busy focusing on getting to the Underworld first, her SIR noted faint, squeeky  
footsteps in hot pursuit of them. The SIR spun round, completely stopping its speedy run.  
  
GIR smiled. "OooOOOohh!! Cat, cat!!"  
  
MeMi glared at the oncoming green puppy, and prepared to leap up and slash him to scrap metal,   
when... 'THUNnnn!!!' was sort of the sound made when a kid playing in the park hit a homerun...  
right into MeMi.  
The SIR blew up into pieces without any cry.  
GIR looked about at the black metal raining down around him. "Aww... MeMi flew back to his   
homeplanet... He left his clothes for me!! ..."  
GIR thought about that. "HehEHHEHE!!! MeMi's NAKED now!!!" He began to quickly pick up the pieces  
and looked at his green dog costume.  
"I'sa gonna be a cat now!!"  
  
  
Back to our story.  
  
Tak clenched her fist. "Argh!! Filthy dirt-children!!! Throwing explosive balls at my SIR!! Now  
I'll have to go out and salvage MeMi's chips."  
  
"Your SIR had... CHIPS??" asked the puppy dog-bot in awe.  
  
"Not the kind YOU'RE thinking about."  
  
"Oh..." He looked sad, but then perked up. "Master!!" He ran to Zim, hugged him, and then ran to   
Fausta's side. "I'm gonna watch you!!"  
  
"Oh joy!" said the Wing in reply, rather sarcastically. She started up the game, snatched up the  
controller, and plopped down some two feet from the TV screen.  
  
"Can I play toooooo???"  
  
"GIR, it's a one-player game."  
  
There began sniffing sounds, and GIR's eyes became all teary.  
  
o.-; "Eh..." She got up, grabbed the second player controller, and handed it to the robot.   
"Here. You can be the good guy!" she said happily.  
  
GIR seemed to not realize that his pressing of buttons did not affect anything in the game.  
But... Wow. It was fun.  
  
Anyway, while GIR was explaining to Tak how he looked like the MeMi cat, Tenn had gone totally  
berserk, and became engaged in a viscious fight with Zim.  
Zim used his little sanity, however, to his advantage, and managed to outmanuver Tenn, and   
eventually win the battle.  
Now, he watched the TV screen with interest.  
  
After a rather dull intro to the game, Zim was BORED. He was about to use his mech legs to make  
the Dib want to leave, so that they could all leave, when he sensed ...fear.  
He turned to look at Fausta, who was gritting her fangy teeth, and moving her eyes wildly about   
the TV screen.  
Hah! What a laugh! How could the Wing be so taken by that pathetic Earthen game? Earth-things are  
soooo.... not-good. He looked at the TV screen.  
  
"AHHHHHHH!!! HALLOWEENIES!!!!!"  
  
His scream was so loud it, made Dib drop his tape recorder, and Fausta drop the controller. Tak  
just rolled her eyes. GIR cheered.  
  
Dib began screaming now too, because now his tape and tape recorder were broken. "All my work..!"  
  
And Fausta was screaming. "NOOO!!! PAUSE! PAUSE!!!" She grabbed the controller as quickly as   
possible, pressed start, and death-glared Zim.  
"What's WITH you!?!?? You'll make me lose!! So SHUT-up!!"  
  
"The Halloweenies!!" Zim persisted. "The ones after my DEE-lishous meats!! GHOSTIES!! They're  
conspiring to get me!! Me and my wonderful Irken FLESH!!"  
  
"It's JUST a game Zim, and your STUPID screaming ruined my equipment!!" Dib cried. "I'll just  
have to come back here another time..."  
  
Everyone seemed to sweatdrop at this.  
  
"Hey, wow. Those graphics are GREAT," said Dib, looking at the TV carefully. "That ghost looks  
REAL. And the sound is top-notch too."  
  
"Yeah." Fausta aimed her character's weapon, which by the way, happens to be an antique camera,  
at a ghost, but was too slow. After a few shots, the ghost had disappeared.  
No, wait! It turned invisible!! I can kinda see it!!! AW, STYX!! It's getting CLOSER!! AHHHHH!!!  
Fausta gasped when the normally really slow ghost suddenly rushed up and grabbed her.  
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!! AHHHHHH!!!!!"  
  
"Hah! Fool-beast! Zim shall triumph over this Halloweenie, where you cannot!!"  
  
"I CAN beat him, Zim! Be quiet!" The alien's accusations were making her distracted and nervous.  
"AHHHHHHH!!!! GET AWAY!! GET AWAYYYY!!!! WHY DON'T THEY LET ME ESCAPE!?!"  
Her character was running all over the TV screen, the ghost following, and moaning painfully   
about ropes and kimonos, and pleading for help.  
  
Zim watched as Fausta made her character run for the door, but a message came up, saying the door   
was sealed shut by some force.  
  
"Oooh! This game's SPOOKY!" said GIR.  
  
"Spooky like a zombie, GIR. Spooky like a zombie..." said Tak.  
  
"Huh, Zim shall defeat the ghostie!" And he grabbed the first player controller from Fausta.  
  
"You DARE!!" she growled. "You don't even know the buttons!!"  
  
"SILENCE!!" Zim mashed the buttons randomly, wasting film. But, since Fausta had almost beaten  
the ghost...  
"HAHAH!! SUCCESSSSS!!! The game claims that I have DRIVEN the ghost!! HAH!"  
  
"Zim, you fool!! You've just sealed Miku's (the main character) fate!! You've used up ALL the   
camera film!! Now I can't fight!! TWO pieces of film left, ZIM!! TWO!! YOU MOROOONNNN!!!!"  
  
Zim looked scared. "Uh...uh, well! I can fix that!!"  
  
Suddenly, the door to the room opened, making cool air swish over everyone.  
  
Iunilla stepped inside. "Well, apparently, you're not as safe as I'd thought, Fausta. That  
big bang outside you all heard a while ago was the sound of explosives, which killed a Wing  
Mercenary, eight Humans, and collapsed three houses."  
  
GIR did not really understand the word 'killed', but he figured it was something bad. He got all   
droopy-looking.  
  
"Wing Mercenary!?" Fausta brightened, dropping the controller.  
  
"Should this really be something you should be happy about, Fausta?" asked Marcellus from outside  
the room.  
  
"Of COURSE!! That WING who was killed was LILITH!! Oh YEAAAAHH!!" She pumped her fist in the air  
and hugged GIR tightly.  
  
"Yaaaay!! Kil-Fausta-person loves me!!"  
  
Zim and Dib were pretty shocked.  
Dead. Wow. The last time they'd seen the fierce Wing, she'd been so... dangerous and ..well,   
ALIVE. It was like they'd just looked away for a second, and she died.  
Still, it didn't make much of an impact on Zim. Dib, however, seemed slightly fazed.  
Tak, she didn't even know Lilith, so she couldn't care less. And Tenn was still unconscious, but  
she didn't know Lil either.  
  
"Well, you shouldn't celebrate so soon," said Aula, who poked her head in with a grin.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"You know, ghost springings have raised by thirty four percent since last year! ...Which means  
anyone who dies now has a good eighty-seven percent chance of becoming a ghost!!" the daemon  
asnwered.  
"Just think!! She's gonna haunt you for the rest of your life! Which may not be too long, if she  
turns out as a poltergeist!"  
  
Iunilla smacked her friend's shoulder. "Stop scaring her!" She turned to the young Wing. "Don't  
worry. With her cause of death, there's most probably been a lot of mind damage, and when she  
turns into a ghost, she won't even remember you."  
  
"Unless she turns out to be lucky, and still have her memories! Then you're SO-- Ow!! 'Nilla!"  
  
"I said stop!"  
  
"Dib, we're OUTTA here!" growled Fausta.  
  
"Hey, no complaints there," replied the Human.  
  
"And DON'T even try anything. If I die, YOU die too," she added.  
  
"Of course."  
  
Zim had a very huffy look. He was ordering GIR to sit quietly at his side.  
  
Tak smiled thinly. "What a day, hm?" She activated her Human disguise hologram.   
It looked like a girl with blue-dyed, chin length hair, and so much make-up on, it was   
surprising she didn't drown in it, as usual. There were platinum-looking rings and chains added,   
and some silver studs along her black clothing. Tak really paid attention to detail.  
In any case, she slid a single mech leg out. (A Human with a mech leg would look interesting.)  
And prepared to drive it into Zim's stupid head.  
  
Marcellus slapped something onto Tak's back. "No fighting. Look at what you've already done  
to that poor lady there!" He pointed at KO'ed Tenn.  
  
"But I didn't d--"  
  
"That device I put on your backpod will disable it for a few hours."  
  
"But it was ZI--"  
  
"Uh-uh-uh-uh!! We're all leaving now. It's getting dangerous here," said Marcellus in a good  
fatherly way.  
  
  
**About a half an hour later-- the Dib house  
  
"...so we all get out of the Underworld safely, but Zim's still alive, and I lost all my notes   
in the tape. I'll go back there with more equipment alone next time. And I'll be more careful."  
  
Gaz groaned. "Okay, we listened to your dumb story. Can you be quiet now? Your eyes are stupid."   
She took a big bite out of her pizza slice.  
  
"My thoughts exactly," added Aunt Niv, sipping some Cherry Poop.  
  
"..How can my eyes be stupid?" Dib ate the rest of his slice in silence.  
  
"They're all SWOLLEN to accomadate you big head. Duh," the girl replied.  
  
Dib ate the rest if his pizza slice in silence.  
He hadn't communicated with them in a while. Swollen Eyeballs...  
  
  
***At the Earthen base of ZIM!  
  
"GIR, you did a good thing out there, getting MeMi destroyed, and accompanying your master into  
those spooky new lands! I congratulate you! You may not be advanced, or even really understand   
me, but-- AGH! GIR!! Let me go, GIR!! AHHHHHH!!!"  
  
"I luvs you too, Masterrr!! Destroying's fun! It was all smoky-like!! Chickens were following!!"  
  
"GIR!! C'mon! Let me goooo!!!"  
  
  
  
***Center City Park  
  
Tak sighed. "It'll take hours to get all these pieces... Punk Humans..."  
  
A man who was doing a daily jog wrinkled his nose at Tak's dark, studded attire and make-up   
slathered appearance. "Punk teenagers..."  
  
Tenn sat close by, hugging her knees and rocking back and forth in an insane sort of way.  
"I'll get him someday..."  
  
  
***The base of Faust  
  
"Compy! Really!! Let me in!! Faust! FAUUUUST!! I NEED SHELTER!! I'm HOMELESS!!!"  
Fausta kept shouting at the two from outside the front yard until she passed out on the ground   
from lack of sleep.  
  
  
No one important really slept well that day, or should I say, night.  
  
Not Dib, with depression at losing the valuable tape, and his nightmares of invading aliens.  
  
Not Zim, with GIR latched around his ankles, to express his love for his master.  
  
GIR, doesn't really sleep, does he? He does...? Well, okay. HE did sleep well.  
  
Not Tak, who had to spend all evening and night searching for all of MeMi's parts.  
  
Not Tenn, who didn't sleep at all that night, and just sat rocking back and forth, mumbling  
threats to Zim, who did not hear her.  
  
Not Fausta, who snoozed upon rough pavement, dreaming about a poltergeist Lil trying to kill   
her, and waking up whenever wandering hobos tripped over her.  
  
Nor Lil, who DID acquire an afterlife, and wandered aimlessly about, searching for ...something..  
anything... to remember.  
  
----------------------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Well, how'd ya like? Meooow!!  
  
Da Lesson o' This Chapter: Insane Irkens don't need to sleep if they can rock back and forth,  
growling threats. 


	20. Prophecies o' DOOM

pureVENOM: Ooooooh!! I gots a new RPG!! Star Ocean 2!!! It's SO kewl!! Mwa hah!! I SOOOO love my  
Dias!! And Leon is SOOO cyuutte!! EEE!! My blue-haired meanie, and my kitty-eared brat!  
Oh, and the 'stick a straw in Fausta's face, and suck her head dry' is something from my valde  
funny friend. It from an English assignment, and she decided to write about how much she loves  
hating me. Wonderful, no?  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
Chapter Twenty-one: Prophecies o' DOOM  
  
--------------------------------------  
  
The students at hi skool were VERY excited. And with their excitement, was much noise. Their  
second year of highschool is nearly over, and--  
  
"WHOOO!!! WHEN SKOOL'S OUT, I'M GONNA GO CRAZY!! HAHAHAHA!!! BLARGH!!" screeches some random guy.  
  
"Then aren't you a little early?" mumbles Dib as he stalked by.  
The Human was glad that the skool year was almost out. He'd have lots more time to deal with the  
ALIENS. But, he was all gloomy and stuff since he'd lost all his notes on the Underworld, ZIM  
was still scheming around, and he hadn't stopped anyone.  
  
As the Dib walked by, he caught glimpses of his rivals.  
There was Tak, sitting upon some hapless student's locker, looking very irritable. The owner of   
the locker could do nothing to get the scowling girl off of her locker.  
Zim ran by, with a triumphant look, lugging along a black backpack. He made a victory-sound--  
that 'NNGH!!' sound.  
Fausta, with a tired frown, chased after him, shouting something about her backpack and work.  
For being enemies, they sure were interesting, and sometimes had er... pleasant conversations. If  
they weren't evil, power-hungry, sneaky things, they all might be good friends.  
Dib thought about what he was thinking about. He snorted. Man, did he need some coffee.  
  
Dib reached his locker, opened it, and put away his science book-- entitled 'Science, Scientists,  
and All That Jazz'.  
Then he headed for the cafeteria. He decided not to eat anything though, as today's food was a   
surprise day, and he'd heard from a frightened teacher that it was called something like 'Floopy  
Stew'. Probably a concotion of last week's special and leftover mashed potatoes. Ick.  
Dib didn't understand why he had to go to such a lousy skool when his dad was so rich and famous.  
Oh well. It all worked out anyway, since he could keep watch over 'everyone'. The ALIENS.  
  
  
** Somewhere else  
  
A stern voice of a Wing rings out in an emptying hallway.  
"IRKEN!! Release my backpack!! It contains nothing of use to morons like you!!" cried the   
pursuing Onyx Wing.  
  
Zim shook the pack as he ran, listening to the clanging inside. "I don't believe you, Wing-  
beast!! And who is the TRUE moron!? How about the Wing without her back-pouch!?"  
  
"It's backPACK! Gah!! My stuuuuuff!!" continued the Wing.  
  
"Ahahahaha!!!"  
  
  
** Somewhere ELSE  
  
Tak hadn't been able to find MeMi's AI parts. She didn't have any spares either, thanks to other   
encounters with her foes. Until she got a new one, MeMi was as good as dead. In a robot sort of  
way. Why was her SIR so prone to DOOM?  
  
  
** Cafeteria  
  
Gaz wrinkled her round face in disgust, not taking her eyes off of her game screen, as her big   
brother sat down beside her.  
"Why do you always have to sit here? It stinks enough in this room already."  
  
"Gaz, I-- Hey! I don't smell!" Dib retorted.  
  
"Well, you DO have a nose. And maybe if your hair were a bit shorter."  
  
Dib became silent. His sister had a way of shutting him up. A strange girl.  
  
"Why do you have to be you?" Gaz added shortly.  
  
"..."  
  
"........"  
  
"..."  
  
"....Hey, I heard ALL of your geometry class is being forced to participate in some freak talent   
show on the last day of skool."  
  
"What?" Dib asked, confused. "No we're not."  
  
"And that there's going to be a Skool reunion the day after. Wouldn't be nice to see Miss Bitters  
again? Your geometry teacher is going to force you all to go. Heh." Gaz smirked.  
  
"You know, where ever you're hearing those things, it's not true," Dib replied.  
  
"An unwelcome 'FRIEND' is going to appear later this month, Dib. You'll have fun with him. He's  
going to be a lot SMARTER than Zim, though."  
  
The Dib got a thinking look on his face. "...Gaz..?"  
  
"And I also heard that a spooky poltergeist is going to haunt you and your stupid friends. Heh,  
you'll have a great summer."  
  
O.O Dib froze. "Where... ..DID you hear these things, anyway, Gaz?" continued the Dib.  
  
No response. Gaz continued to play her game silently, frowning.  
  
  
**In a random hallway  
  
Zim had managed to get rather far away from Fausta and zip open her backpack.  
"Eh..?!? What is THIS??"  
He picked up some very old, heavy books, and a tarnished silver mirror. Much biology and mathish  
paper works spill out from the open backpack onto the ground.  
  
"ARGGGHH!!! My STUUUUUFF!! ZIM, you'll PAYYYY!!" growled the exasperated Wing.  
  
"Heh, I suppose they won't be late fees?" murmured Zim, old memories resurfacing.  
(FBI Warning of DOOM. "You'll paaaaayyy.... LATE FEES!!" Gasp! The horror!)  
  
The Onyx Wing collapses and begins to grab all her works. "Zim, do NOT mess with those things!   
They're very old and delicate!!"  
  
Zim does not immediately respond, but the sound of ripping pages and breaking glass is heard.  
  
Fausta cringes. "...Zim... Did you just BREAK something...?"  
  
"Huh!" The haughty Irken replied. "ZIM did NUUUUTHING of the sort!! These cheap Earth-things fell   
to pieces on their own!"  
  
Eye twitch.  
"Those're very important stuffs!!" she complained.  
  
"What's IMPORTANT about shattered glass and torn, mildewed pages?" Zim scoffed.  
  
"The mirror was NOT shattered until YOU touched it, and it can show me... hm.." Fausta got a  
thoughtful look.  
"It showed if there're HALLOWEENIES around."  
  
"UH!!" O_O "HALLOWEENIES!?!"  
  
"Yep! And the books have all sorts of info on them, too." ^.^ "But I guess I can just put all  
these back together... It'll take quite a while since I still have no access to my home and   
tools..." continued the Wing, feeling very sneaky.  
  
"Ah.. ah.. No NEED! ZIM shall repair these ...INFERIOR items for you!!" the Irken announced,   
knowing that it would very well benefit him as well.  
  
"Hm.. oh... wellllll.... Alright, Zim." ^___^ 'Irkens're SUCH idiots' (No offense to the  
sneaky-smart Rogue-Irken-beast!), thought the Wing, giggling mentally. (Nota Bene: Heh, I guess   
you can take 'mentally' as 'crazilly' or 'in her mind'. They're both valid definitions. Hehe.)   
(Wow, this paragraph is getting VERY complicated.)  
  
  
**Iunilla's laboratory in the Underworld  
  
"Everyone thinks the year 2G  
is so scary, let's wait and see,  
the world'll shut down, most will quit,  
people go crazy, people catch fits--" Iunilla was cheerily singing her favorite song  
(End of the Century, in Dance Dance Revolution 3) while organizing some evidence she'd found   
around the scene of the Wing-attack.  
The Underworld is such a nice place to get research material, the necromaster thought happily.  
  
A sharp clicking of talons against a stony ground announced the entry of daemon Aula!  
"What'cha doin', 'Nilla??" she asked. "Besides singing that weird Human song."  
  
"Hey, you're talking to a Human right now, you know," came Iunilla's reply.  
  
"Yeah, but you're different. You're SPECIAL."  
  
"Wow, I am so honored," she responded sarcastically. She added the next part sincerely though.   
"And I feel like having a smore. That must be the best Overworld-originated food EVER. A smore--   
it consists of toasty marshmallow, and a piece of chocolate, squashed between slices of grahm   
crackers. An edible of complete perfection..." (This's making me wanna eat a smore. @_@;;)  
  
"Yep!" agreed the scaly, lavender friend. "THEM'S good eatin'!!"  
  
"How can you even think of EATING ...with all that.... STUFF here??" asked a new voice. A friend   
of Iunilla and Aula. A shapeshifter with fire-red, spiky hair, and wrapped up in a stylish grey   
and white straitjacket with flailing belts and buckles. He was dangling over some chains hooked   
about the laboratory ceiling.  
(Quite a spooky-lookin' guy. I enjoy drawing him.)  
  
"What stuff?" asked Iunilla innocently.  
  
Insanus, the straitjacket-wearing shapeshifter, grimaced, and pointed his chin over to the desk  
where Iunilla and Aula stood. The one covered with charred skulls and rib bones, and spooky   
'Halloweenie' (zombie) flesh. The one that smelled of rotty meat and creepy potions.  
Insanus's greenish face turned even greener.  
  
"Aw, you're just not used to the stuff yet, dearie," Iunilla replied with a smirk. "It's not  
that bad."  
  
Insanus just continued looking sick. "Whatever. But what are you doing with those old bones?"  
  
"Indentifying crispy-dead peeps."  
  
"Uh huh." Insanus's uneasy look subsided a bit. "This that Wing-killing incident the other day?"  
  
"Of course! Only the the most important and toughest jobs for the almighty Iunilla!" declared  
the necromaster's bestest friend. (Eww, I always picture Keef when I see the word 'bestest' now.  
I've been scarred!! AHHHH!!)  
  
Iunilla concentrated on a burnt and shattered skull, which she'd just pieced back together,  
willing its former face to return.  
"Ah, this part's so tiring," 'Nilla commented.  
  
Insanus decided to cover his eyes. "Argh, I don't wanna watch this."  
  
Anyway, in a few moments, slivers of muscle and veins start to appear upon the crispy skull.  
They race around the head-bone, covering it entirely. Lots of icky blood-stuff begins to puddle  
around the skull, as it opens its seemingly grinning jaws in a silent scream.  
Good thing Insanus's covering his eyes. Oh wait, he's uncovering them.  
  
"Ohh..., I'm going to be sick... Yeah, I'm gonna be sick..." The shapeshifter swiftly morphed  
into a crimson serpent, dropped to the ground, and hurried/slithered away to be sick.  
  
Aula grinned and swished her tail, tickled by humor. "Poor Insanus."  
  
Silver eyes form in the empty sockets, and skin flows over the facial tissue. A soft, rainbowish   
stream of hair sprout.  
  
Iunilla stops, her work complete. "Aula, isn't this that aeromancer who fumed at me one day for  
working at the Wing Cloning Factory?"  
  
"Mmmmmmyep. Not too many mancers with silver eyes. Creepy!" chirped the daemon. "I feel bad for   
the Wing, though!" Aula tilted her head towards a pile of bones mixed with metal pieces that were  
once various bodily implants.  
"I'll bet she didn't stand a chance against a mancer! Whoo! But she went out with a BANG anyway!"  
The daemon looked back to the face, which rolled its eyes about at Iunilla and Aula accusingly.  
"Heh, this mancer definitely deserves this," she commented, putting on a spare pair of goggles.  
  
The necromaster nodded, took some notes, and began to identify the skull/face of one of the  
attacker's comrades.  
  
Meanwhile, the head of the aeromancer began to dry and crumble into bits, head-fluid streaming.  
Then, it went..... BOOM!!!  
The mini-explosion of the head made the two ladies in the room sway on their feet slightly.  
  
Aula giggled and wiped some slime off of her shoulder armor. "Styx, I NEVER get tired of those   
explosions!"  
  
"Glad you're enjoying yourself, dearie," replied her bestest friend.  
  
  
**Hi Skool Cafeteria  
  
Dib was waiting for the last minutes of lunch to tick by, while lightly studying for an upcoming   
biology test on avian creatures. He was scanning a page of birds' flight feathers when he felt a   
prickling at the back of his neck. That sort of sixth sense, when someone's watching you.  
The Human spun 'round and cried out in surprise, then fell off the cafeteria bench.  
"Ow! Who're you!? And why are you right behind me??"  
  
A green-haired teenage girl wearing olive-green robery, and a strangely familiar chain with   
metallic pendants stepped backwards in surprise. "Uh, I'm sorry. But you seem... kinda like I've   
met you before,... and.. that book..."  
She traced along the picture of the primary flight feathers with the tip of a finger.  
"This picture makes me feel so sad..."  
  
Dib decided this stranger was a strange and suspicious person. A thought came to mind. Could  
the spirit of that Lil Wing-- could this weirdo be her??  
Nah... Lil's ghost'd be totally violent! And she didn't even LOOK like a ghost.  
"What's wrong with it?"  
  
"I can't fly," was the short response.  
  
"Well, Humans don't have the appendages or corporal ability to fly. They're just not meant for  
the sky. But I suppose planes, rockets, and jetpacks sort of overrule that, huh?" Dib thought   
aloud.  
  
"..Yeah..."  
  
Dib smile inwardly. NO ONE comes to talk to the 'freaks'. It felt kinda nice.  
"So, what's your name? I'm Dib." He held out his hand.  
  
The girl looked at his outreached hand warily. "..."  
"What..do you think I LOOK like?"  
  
"Huh?" The Dib was confused.  
  
"What does it look like my name would be??" the girl answered.  
  
Dib scratched his head. "Eh... Heh, wow, um... ...Domina... or maybe Dea...?"  
  
"Call me Dea, then. What a guess, hm, Dib?"  
  
Dib thought that was rather bizarre, but shook it off. "I've never seen you in school before.  
Are you new?"  
  
"Um, yeah."  
  
"But the school year's almost over. Isn't it sort of weird to change schools at the end of the  
year?" Dib questioned.  
  
"Anytime is a good time for a change for the better," 'Dea' replied.  
  
The Human nodded. "Yeah, good point. But there's nothing great about this place."  
  
"Ah, but there're good and bad points to everything! You just need to find one!"  
  
Dib snorted. "You remind me of a fortune cookie."  
  
"Hm... Is that a bad thing?" Dea sat down between the Dib and Gaz, who was searching the game   
for a save point, since the end of lunch was so close by.  
  
"Well, no actually. It's encouraging. My life's just been one big failure, and eveyone's always  
so cruel to me." Dib waved a hand dismissively and sighed.  
  
"Oh, a big-headed nice boy like you shouldn't act so depressed. It's sad to see."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
  
**Outside on the skool track  
  
Everyone was busy stretching before they'd start running. Otherwise, they'd get all sore and  
all that bad stuff. Weight training was some tough stuff.  
Fausta was puzzled by the strangest expression on the Dib-Human's visage.  
Zim obviously noticed it too, because he was scowling and glaring sharpened daggers at the Human,  
but the Dib seemed not to even notice!  
  
All the students sped off at the instructor's signal, and ran and ran, trying to keep up a good  
speed while conserving energy for the laps.  
Dib noticed a spot of pastel green in the distance. It was Dea, walking off somewhere. She  
suddenly turned however, and Dib smiled and waved at her.  
Dea waved back.  
  
Fausta used her optical advancedness to look at the stranger carefully. Zim did the same with his  
optical implants. This was a strange stranger.  
  
The Wing noted the necklace around the girl's neck. The deep grey metal pendant that read 'STL'.  
"Steel! GRAGH! It be Lil's necklace!! NOOOO!! SHE'S BACK!!"  
  
Fausta tripped over her feet clumsily, absorbed in her shock. She crashed into Zim's back, and  
her huge black wings slapped at Dib, who was running beside her.  
There were many cries of pain from the trio, and the other students made freak comments.  
The Onyx Wing grabbed Dib's PE uniform collar and shook him.  
  
"YOU!! THAT freaky person up there is LILITH!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!?? You're gonna get me   
KILLED!! What did I ever do to you!? Besides almost succeed in conquering your planet, making  
death threats to you, and occasionally helping your old rival!?!"  
  
Dib frowned. "Wow, thanks for reminding me. But Dea is NOT a ghost."  
  
"She is TO!! Look! Look at her necklace!! It's the medal that reads out a mercenary's ranking!  
STEEL!!! You FOOL!!!" Fausta hissed.  
  
Dib got up and dusted himself free of the reddish dirt of the running track. "You're just   
paranoid. For all we know, it could be her grandmother's initials or something. Dea's NICE,   
unlike you ALIENS."  
  
"I'm NOT an ali--"  
  
"The Wing-beast is right, you know," interrupted the Irken. "Who knows WHAT the Halloweenie will   
do to us!! She's most likely after our sweet, sweet, living flesh!! MY superior flesh in   
particular!"  
  
"Psh! Zim, Fausta, look. She WALKS, and she doesn't go through things. You two're probably up  
to something," replied Dib.  
  
"NOOO!! She's a more advanced kind of ghost! She's a poltergeist!! She can touch things in our  
world as she wants. And she's USING you to get to MEEE!!! I am SO DOOMED!!!" wailed the Wing. "I   
can't BELIEVE it!! She ruined MY life in HER life, and now she's continuing to ruin my life in  
her AFTERLIFE!?! Whyyyyy is this so unfairrrrr???"  
Fausta shook her head sadly.  
"I just wanted to conquer a few dozen planets and become a great Wing... Is that too much to ask   
for...!?!?!"  
  
Dib rose a dark brow, and turned to wave bye to Dea, but she was gone. He shrugged and kept   
running.  
  
The two non-Humans watched the Dib run of nervously.  
  
"That DIB-Human will be the end of us all!" growled Zim.  
  
"Hey!! Get moving, you two!!" barked the teacher, becoming annoyed by the two's un-movingness.  
  
Zim saluted smartly, and continued running.  
  
Fausta groaned, sure of an upcoming doom. "Stupid Dib-Human..." She began to run.  
She didn't want to be killed by some dead Wing who'd sent her living so much of her very first,  
and perhaps only mission in fear, when she couldn't even enter her own home base! Fausta didn't  
want to become a spooky 'Halloweenie'!! Or, what if she COULDN'T become a Halloweenie??  
Why was SHE so DOOMed...??  
Why not the cretin Dib, or alien Zim, or grumpy Tak, or freaky Tenn?  
  
Of course, Fausta, in her own spookish predicament, didn't acknowledge the four others' doomful   
lives.  
  
The sad, lonely life of Human visionary Dib, whom everyone including his own genius father,   
deemed insane. Picked on by classmates, and fighting a war single-handedly against not  
one, not two, but THREE invaders now, and getting absolutely nowhere. Five years of Zim and  
Tak... His scary sister wasn't very helpful most times, and even his fellow Swollen Eyeballs   
continued to ignore his claims.  
  
How about Zim's life? An enthusiastic, haughty, and hard-working invader, CRUSHED (say it  
Membrane-style! Bad Bad Rubber Piggy!) when he discovered the truth behind his mission on Earth.  
A truth that Tak had tried to convince Zim into five years ago. Dib always on his tail, stopping   
his plans, and out for his SUPERIOR blood. And Tak and now FAUSTA trying to steal HIS planet. His  
filthy planet of DIRT. It was his...  
  
The Onyx Wing knew nothing of Tak's or Tenn's past, but they, nonetheless had unhappy and doomful   
ones.  
  
Tak, a fantastical soldier had her future and entire life crumbled to dust with Zim's idiocy and  
hunger for sweet SNACKS. Snaaaacks! The strange duo of Zim and Dib never failed to stop her  
incredible schemes, and now, she sat at her Earthen base, wondering when her old SIR's new AI   
chip would arrive.  
  
Tenn, a good soldier as well, had her life ruined too. But actually NOT by Zim. Still, as she  
could trace her problems to the Vorten packaging planet, and see that their packages were   
switched, she refused to believe anything besides the untrue fact that ZIM had the packages  
switched. Tenn was beyond consolation or help. She was officially insane. Criminally insane,  
even. She was violent and utterly alone.  
  
It's interesting to look upon this cast of characters, and see thier similarities, is it not? All  
five are more or less alone, and tied together on this planet by their sheer stubborness. Hm,  
and they have some SEVERE grudges against Zim. Heh, poor little Irken o' mine.  
And now, this is a very exhausted narrator, signing off for the chapter. Good night!  
  
------------------------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Oh wow, I am tired. Bleh... Heh. So, I guess this chapter went okay. Eh..  
I couldn't think of any new nifty name for the mysterious strange stranger girl, so I do what I  
usually do now-- I grabbed a random Latin word. 'Dea' means 'goddess'. And it's a pretty name,   
no?  
  
Cogito lingua Latina vivit. (I think the language Latin lives.) ^.^ Naw, actually, it's pretty   
dead, I'm sad to say.  
  
The Lesson of this Chapter: Four different people who think they're nothing alike, can very well  
be valde alike. Oh, and Dea sounds like a fortune cookie.  
  
And now, the traditional suspense building questions!:  
Are Dib and Dea becoming friends? (O.O;;;)  
Will Gaz's creepy predictions come true? (Spooky...)  
Is Dea really the spooky spirit of Lil, unwilling to die? (Oooh...)  
Will ever Fausta get over her fear of the dead Wing Mercenary? (Like a moose, she will.)  
Will the author ever come up with kewler fancharacter names? (What? Hey!)  
Will the author ever beat Fatal Frame? (NOOOOO!!! Fatal Frame's too scary to play alone!!)  
Can she start asking more questions about her fic? (Fic!!! Fic, fic, fic!) 


	21. Sheer and Undiluted DOOM!

pureVENOM: Whoo! Yaaaay, I just printed out the lyrics to 'You Are the New Day'!! Like at  
three-fifty-three or something PM July 26, 2002. Ooh, I love that song! I only heard it a few  
times on commercials on KQED like YEARS ago, though, and I still remembered a lot of the lines,  
and I typed some of them in, hit search, and blao! My song!! Wow, I love the internet!  
Aw man, did I write the wrong chapter numbers for some of my previous chapters? Well, if I did,   
that stinks, but ignore it, kay?  
Whoo, I sure am emotional, no?? Heh, looking back on my ranting on like two or three chapters  
ago. Yipes! I played through Silent Hill again, and I STILL cried at that part. Oy... I wonder  
if I can handle it my third time around. I wonder why people say 'third time's the charm'?  
Dea-- pronounced: 'day'-'uh'  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chapter Twenty-One, I think: Sheer and Undiluted DOOM!  
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
So, Fausta spent that night, sitting wide-eyed and shivering in fear and cold on the pavement  
outside her front lawn, still unable to get inside her home.  
  
Dib slept well, a long dreamless sleep, a smile on his face. Lucky him, no?  
(But I enjoy dreaming. Too bad I usually forget most of them. I'm thinking about starting a dream  
record. They're alway so interesting!)  
  
Dea sat in the night, upon a small field of soft green grass. The smell of the silky flowers  
around her, and the moist dirt beneath her was so relaxing. Very calming. Not that she wasn't  
already very calm.  
She liked the way the water droplets sparkled on the innumerable blades of grass, under the   
white moonlight. It was a nice time to reflect upon the day's events. There was nothing else in  
her mind anyway--  
  
"Hey! Hey, yeah, YOU!! Get off mah LAWN!! MY GRASS!! SCRAM, ya weirdo!!!"  
  
And Dea was shooed away by the owner of the lawn that she was sitting on.  
  
The person rushed out and began to freak out about the small indentation of where Dea'd been   
sitting. "My graaaaass!!! It's all CRUSH-ED!!!"  
  
  
**Somewhere  
  
Dea wandered about the neighborhood, expressionless. With her pale green attire and hair lit up  
by the moon above, she looked almost like some specter. Or as Zim would say, 'HALLOWEENIE'!!  
She noticed a familiar energy close by, inside a rather large shelter unit. She had to find out  
what it was.  
The spooky new girl walked RIGHT up to a wall of the shelter unit, and tilted her head.  
"Up..."  
It was coming from up.  
She rose her hands, and sunk her fingers into the wall, listening to the quiet crunching sound of  
the paint, stucco, and other wall-stuffs. Dea climbed.  
In moments, she reached a window, but it was far too dark to see anything inside. She frowned.  
Such a thin piece of frail stuff blocking her way! She carefully took one hand and pressed   
against the cold surface. No breakie!! EEEE!!  
Dea scowled, unwilling to be beaten by a pane of glass, and punched at it. She achieved nothing  
from this, but painy knuckles.  
Unbreakable glass! Arrrgh! Well, what do ya expect from a good home? Tresspasserproof windows, of   
course!  
However, the dull 'thump!' sound she made with her hit, woke the person within.  
  
There was a low growl, and a treading of feet to the window. A pale, angry face loomed through   
the window, like some spooky spook!  
  
Dea waved her free hand. It was the younger sibling of the Dib.  
  
Gaz did not wave back, but said something. "Dib's the next window that way. Do NOT make this  
mistake again."  
  
Dea paled, nodded, and climbed sidweways. So THIS was the familiar energy she'd sensed. Dib and  
Gaz. How nice, she thought.  
As she reached the Dib's window, she tapped it several times. Then some more, and more.  
Then a groggy-lookin' Dib face appeared. He turned surprised when he saw that it was Dea.  
  
Dib then just looked confused, but opened the window.  
"What are you doing?" he asked. "That's dangerous! What if you fall or something?"  
  
Dea scoffed. "Believe me, I'm sure I've been through worse."  
  
"Well anyway, what are you doing out there? It's two AM, and there's skool tomorrow! Should we   
all be sleeping like good little teenagers?" continued Dib.  
"Hey, how are you even climbing up this wall? There's nothing for you to hold on..to..."  
He then saw that the girl's fingers were grabbing deep into the wall. He rubbed his glasses, and  
double-checked.  
"Yaahh!! How do you--!?"  
  
"Ah... my family secret. Can't tell," replied Dea quickly.  
  
"Wow. You know, if this wasn't so amazing, I'd be irritated that you were driving holes into our   
wall with your hands."  
  
"Oh?" Dea looked surprised and let go, dropping to the ground so many feet below.  
  
Dib freaked out, but then noticed that the girl was OKAY! She'd landed on two feet soundlessly.  
He did a sweatdrop, (I love those things! I dun care if this isn't anime!) and began to rethink  
what Zim and Fausta had told him.  
Even so, Dea didn't seem to mean any harm towards HIM. Mwa hah!  
"Are you okay? You didn't have to do that, you know."  
Why did the weirdest things always have to happen to him?  
  
"I'm fine! I told you already, don't worry!"  
  
"So why ARE you here, anyway? And why didn't our new security system catch you?" questioned the  
Dib, wanting some answers.  
  
"I felt drawn here. So I came. I never was one to go against my senses." Dea shrugged. "As for  
the security, I don't know."  
  
"What? I just checked it the other day!" called down the Dib.  
He fumbled around for the lamp switch in his room, and with the ability to see, he opened the  
cage for some experimental rats.  
He grabbed one, closed the cage, but then the rodent bit him, and scrambled away.  
"Aw, man."  
  
Then the rat jumped out the window. o.O;; Dunno why.  
A millisecond before the creature hit the ground, a laser beam shot out from nowhere and   
transported the thing into some holding cell in the basement.  
  
"See? It works! It'll zap any living creature into a pen in our basement. It really helps to keep  
the ALIENS away. But why isn't it working on YOU?" asked the Dib, narrowing his eyes.  
  
"Perhaps it just isn't working on me..."  
  
"And why would that be?"  
  
"...Perhaps ...it's stopped targeting Humans?"  
  
"I've checked just the other day. It's perfect."  
  
"Well, it is summer. *Under such extreme heat, wear and degradation is inevitable!! Parts break  
after overuse!!"  
(*A quote from Happy Noodle Boy that I found... very nice.)  
  
Dib thought about that. It was highly unlikely... But he figured he'd was being kinda unfair to  
Dea. "Oh. Um. Yeah, sorry, Dea... I must sound kind of overly paranoid.."  
  
Dea sighed mentally in relief.  
"No, no. I'm sure you have good reason to be this way."  
  
Dib shook his head sadly. "I guess I'm just not meant to have friends."  
  
"Aw, come on. Everyone has to have friends! It's natural! As a sentinent being, you must be  
social! Your SELF beseeches thought and feeling!"  
  
  
**At the base of Zim  
  
Zim was up and about. A very busy Irken he was. The computer had repaired the old books and  
mirror some time ago, and had input the data of the stuff.  
Right now, Zim was listening to this Human conversation through a tiny spy cruiser. It looked  
like a voot cruiser, except it was miniscule. About the size of a bumblebee.  
The Irken made faces and gagged at the idiotic things Dea said to Dib. What a fool the Human  
was! How could he LISTEN to these things!?  
  
  
**Back to the Dib  
  
"I guess..." replied the Human in his room. He laughed quietly.  
"Dea, can you believe... that I thought that you were the malevolent, revenge-thirsty spirit of  
a former Earth-residing Humanoid being who had died violently two days ago, while attempting to  
complete some spooky mission in her hometown?"  
  
"No... Interesting. Do tell me more."  
  
Dib sighed. "Nah, you probably already think I'm crazy."  
  
"Actually, I feel that you are perfectly sane. Perhaps even saner than most Humans, if possible."  
  
"Whatever you say. But, you see, some five years ago..."  
  
  
**Zim's base  
  
Zim cringed and made painy looks as the Dib began telling Dea about EVERYTHING.  
The Irkens, the Meekrob, the Wings, the Underworld, Tak's grudge, crazy Tenn, spooky Lil, how  
water and meats of evil affect Irken skin, lice and Queen Louse, the mysterious Countess  
Von Verminstrasser, the Bitters, the times his sister helped him, the loss of Mercury and Mars,   
and how that was beginning to affect the orbit of Earth around the sun, some new Human colony on   
Venus, blah, bleh, bluh. It was getting boring.  
  
Zim yawned, and before he knew it (does ANYONE know when they fall asleep?), he was sound asleep.  
The soft electronic sounds of his computers only helped lull him into a more pleasant rest.  
  
  
**The Dib's again  
  
Dib stopped, his story PREEETTY much finished. He took a glance at the clock. It's glowing   
crimson numbers read-- 3:13 AM.  
Gasp! The horror!!  
"Oh man! It's so late! I need to get some sleep, or'll be a zombie at skool! Dea, you should get   
home soon. My dad's not home, and we're underaged, so if you need a ride, I can have our   
hovercraft take you--"  
  
"No problem. I live so close by..."  
  
Before the Dib could insist, the strange girl was almost out of sight.  
He groaned, flopped back on his bed, wrapped the covers comfortably round him, and drifted off.  
  
  
**Somewhere with trees  
  
Dea didn't understand why she in her former uh.. life, she'd tried to hard to get rid of some  
feathery girl. She seemed... nice enough. Maybe?  
But still, conquering a planet? Some Tak girl, that Zim guy, and the feathery Fausta? That   
wasn't good... People didn't like being taken over.  
Of course, she was only hearing one side of the story, and each side would be biased, but still,  
global domination was uncalled for...  
  
  
**Zim's base  
  
BRRRRRRING!! BRRRRRRING!!  
  
"Hu--wh--uh--!?" sputtered Zim as he shot awake, due to a loud ringing of a phone.  
He looked around. How absurd! A ringing phone!? There wasn't even a phone IN Zim's lower floors.  
  
This woke up the snoozing GIR as well, and he picked up the phone.  
"Hello?? Ya got any Poops?? I needz my Poops!! Heeeheheehehe!!"  
  
"Hello?" came a raspy voice, that was to crispy sounding to be sure if it was male or female.  
"I'd like to speak with the Irken."  
  
GIR cocked his head. "Ohhh!" He began to run for the trashcan elevtor, the phone still in his   
little hand.  
Of course, by the time GIR was all the way down in the basement level where Zim was, the living  
room phone had been ripped from the wall, and its cords and wires hung dragged on the ground  
limp and useless.  
  
"GIR!" snapped Zim. "Who is it!?"  
  
"A spooky spook, Master! 'E want's ta talk to you!!" the SIR squealed.  
  
The Zim grabbed the phone and listened, not even noticing that the device was not connected to   
the phone line. "Hello!?! This had better be a good reason for interrupting the slumber of   
ZIIIM!!!"  
  
There was a lot of static sounds. They became loud and soft over and over again. It was hard to   
hear the voice on the end of the line.  
"Greetings, alien."  
  
"NGH!" Zim was shocked. "Who calls so early in the morning calling me an.. ALIEN!? Answer meeee!"  
  
"One who fortells your doom should you continue your schemes of planetary domination, Irken."  
  
"Diiib..." hissed Zim accusingly. "Enough of this--"  
  
"I am NOT Dib. I'm not even Human, nor am I alive, fool." There was a pause, as if the speaker  
had stopped to smile.  
"Have you any idea who I am?"  
  
The Irken growled lowly. "So, it's YOU then. You'll NOT best the best of the invaders, 'DEA'.  
No Halloweenie shall stop ZIM!"  
  
"Yep! Master's right! *He listens to his belly button!" agreed GIR.  
(*Advice from Jhonen Vasquez. Your navel knows things.)  
  
"..." Dea's voice was silent, but the rhythmic stacticy sounds continued. Almost like... a Human  
heartbeat.  
  
Zim shuddered. This was weird. He drew back suddenly as the comuter screen he sat right in front  
of, switched its normal chart and writing covered screen to a live picture of Dea.  
  
"As you can see, I can be quite the formidable enemy. Do do yourself a favor, and SUBMIT!" spat  
the green haired poltergeist.  
  
"NEVER! I've faced worse beasts than you in my infantile years!!!"  
  
The computer screen went out, and the electronic equipment around Zim began to fizzle and spark.  
Zim screamed hysterically all the while. He then felt a sharp pain at his back. The Irken turned   
his head to see that his backpod was going up in flames, as was his computer.  
  
"Master!" cried out the house's computer in a distorted voice. "Please, do as the spook asks!  
You're dooming us all!! More doomy than a mongoose, you are..."  
  
GIR just sat giggling madly as the little sparks shooting out of his elbows tickled him.  
  
Zim's eye twitched. "I will NOT SURRENDERRRR!!! YOU HEAR ME, SPOOKY-THING!?!?"  
  
Everything stopped suddenly. The sparks and fires died, and the computer sighed in relief. GIR  
was kinda sad that the pretty lights stopped, though.  
Zim twitched his antennae at the smell of his burnt back. He growled. Time for some major repairs.  
"Huh! Yes, fleeee, doom-filled coward! Zim shall PREVAIL!"  
  
  
**Somewhere again  
  
Dea put a hand to her head. "Owies..."  
That little assault on Zim's base had taken a chuck o' energy outta her. Sheesh, for being a  
dead person, she could still feel quite a bit of pain. Wow, what a MONSTER of a headache! Still,  
it was pretty neat. Hehe. Ahem.  
"I'll get that alien next time." The Irken would not make a fool of Dea TWICE.  
  
  
***The next DAY!!! In the class of Bitters!  
  
"Heh, I didn't know you had RED eyes, Fausta," smirked Dib.  
  
The Wing just rubbed at her sleepy, bloodshot eyes and bared her pointy teeth.  
  
Zim was trying to keep from falling asleep; Mister Bitters wouldn't take to that happily. He'd  
gotten his repairs done, but at a heavy price. His rest. -_-  
  
"Be quiet," barked the instructor. "I have a mission for you all. Each and everyone of you is  
going to be in some group, and you're going to perform in a surprise assembly today, and  
preferably NOT enjoy it."  
Bitters sneered. "I'll pass out the papers that list the names of your group members to your  
preselected group leaders. I don't wany any mutinying now. Just accept your sad fates that I  
have inscribed on these old recycled sheets of paper."  
  
The Bitters slapped a sheet onto Zim's desk, which the Irken snatched up rather eagerly.  
Bitters gave sheets to other students as well, but since I don't know many names of the students,  
I'll stop with just Zim.  
  
"Hah! I am perfectly qualified to lead this pathETIC group of Human-stinks, and I am honored to  
have been assigned as--"  
  
The Bitters cut the Irken off. "Did I mention the members of the group, as well as the leaders  
were RANDOMLY selected?"  
  
Zim scowled, sulked, and then decided to look at what pitiful assortment of Earthenoids he'd  
work with. And he gasped.  
"Wh-wh!? ARRRRRRGHH!!!"  
  
Dib, intrigued, craned his overly large head over, to see the list. "What!? This is SO not   
'RANDOM'!!"  
  
This is what the paper read--  
TALENT SHOW at HI SKOOL at 9:15  
group leader:  
ZIM  
members:  
DIB  
FAUSTA  
TAK  
  
Dib shook his and and raised a hand. "Sir, Tak doesn't even have you this period! This must be a   
mistake!"  
  
"No MISTAKE, Dib," growled the teacher. "Live with it, ...or not."  
  
The Human shut himself up.  
  
Fausta, who'd just read the list to herself, frowned. "Sir Bitters, couldn't we have been warned  
a little EARLIER for this performance? And what sort of performance will it be? We've only an  
hour to prepare ourselves!"  
  
"Then you'd better get working if you don't want to be COMPLETELY humiliated in front of the   
whole Hi Skool."  
  
The trio glanced at each other, unhappily.  
  
----------------------------------------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Hm, there was more Dib in here, than I really liked, but whatever.  
  
Argh, I really hate Cyril!! (A member of the Ten Wise Men, in Star Ocean 2.) I can't believe him!!  
That lousy loser... Grrr.... He deserved my wrath!! Mwa! He is sheer and undiluted evil!! Garg, I  
just had to say that.  
  
Hey, I gots Dark Cloud for my PS2!! Yaaaay!!! And I have like four more chapters of French to go!  
Yaaaay!! I am da greatest. Sorta.  
  
So anyway, I really surprised myself recently. I was writing out the names of my family members,  
and having my baby sister sound them out, and then I got to my name-- Angela. And I'm like, "WOW,   
THAT is my NAME!" 'Cause I'm just so USED to my name being 'FAUSTA'! I use it in my e-mails, my  
Latin work, French work, fanfiction, drawings, and my friends as well as some of my teachers  
call me Fausta!! Blaaargh!! Even now, as I look like my name, it doesn't really seem like my  
true name! It's amazing how quickly something can replace another thing that I've used for so  
many years! Ah, Fausta. That name shall always be a part of me, as will my original name.  
  
Lesson of da Chapter: The Bitters has the ULTIMATE power!! Me needs that power!! 


	22. A Talent Show...Full of Talent!

pureVENOM: Whoo, about halfway through chapter five of my French work! Yay! Whee hee hee!  
The song, 'Melodies of Life', is from Final Fantasy IX, and is owned by the great people of  
Square.  
Mwa haha, I have actually sang my doom version of 'Melodies of Life' a few times. I think it  
sounds very nicely. Bwa hah, I have it typed out clean at the end of the chapter, for anyone  
who may like to read it. SO, the chapter really isn't as long as it seems, from looking at the   
side bar.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
(and for a tiny touch French)  
Chapitre Vingt-deux: A Talent Show...Full of Talent!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
Dib was busy scribbling out some plans and notes upon a piece of lined paper.  
"Okay, what can the four of us-- Zim, Fausta, Tak, and myself, do together, that will not HARM  
any of us, the audience, or.. anybody else?"  
  
Zim and Fausta look at each other blankly.  
  
"Ah," replies the Onyx Wing. "I don't believe Wings, and Irkens are really raised to think very..  
UN-doomfully..."  
  
Zim was thinking, using all the power of his brain-meats.  
"Dib-Human! Would trying to flee off of the stage be considered a 'talent'?" the Irken asked  
dryly.  
  
"Um... NO, Zim."  
  
Fausta frowned, racking her mind. "Eh, what about all of us trying to kill each other? It'll be  
kinda fun, we'll all get exercise, and that's sure to entertain the skooly audience."  
  
Dib lowered a brow. "I said NO harming each other."  
  
"C'mon! Just TRYING. No one will REALLY become seriously injured!" protested the Wing.  
  
"No."  
  
Tak walked into the room at this moment, having been summoned by the Bitters a few minutes ago.  
"Any ideas yet?" the Irken in disguise questioned powerfully, stopping by the chattering group,  
and making them jump up.  
  
"Uh, no, not really, Tak," replied the Wing.  
  
"As I expected. This party will get absolutely NOwhere fast," said Tak in response.  
  
Dib shot her a glare. "Well, it's not like your attitude is helping us, you know."  
  
"Well, my ATTITUDE and I have an idea already, that I'm sure is much better than any of the ones  
you three may have come up with so far," growled Tak darkly.  
  
Zim rolled his lensed eyes. "Let's HEAR it, TAK," he scoffed.  
  
Tak put on an evil sneer, which made her team nervous. "I propose ...we all sing a song."  
  
"Psh!" The Wing crossed her arms. "Do you honestly think anyone in this group has a decent  
singing voice?"  
  
Zim wore an indignant expression. "You JEST! It's a foolish plan for a SUCCESSFULLLLL show!!"  
  
Dib shook his head. "No.. actually, it's a good idea..!"  
  
"Of course," replied Tak smugly. "And as for vocal troubles.." She pulled a Voice-Alterer from  
a pocket. (Like the one Zim used in 'FBI Warning of DOOM')  
  
"Hey, that may not be on any rules book or anything, but isn't that sorta cheating, since this IS  
a TALENT show?" asked the Dib.  
  
"Whatever," groaned Fausta. "But we have less than an hour to come up with a tune and words."  
  
Zim cracked his gloved knuckles. "Leave the song up to ZIIIIM!!"  
  
"Oh, Styx.." groaned the Wing.  
  
"It shall be a song... filled with invadey DOOM!!" continued the Irken.  
  
This perked Tak's interest. "Hey, yes. A song about the four of us! Wonderful idea."  
  
Fausta smirked. "Heh. This DOES sound intriguing."  
  
Dib nodded. "Yeah, but about words, and a melody.."  
  
The Wing blinked. The word 'melody' struck her.  
"Comrades, how about we use the melody of an already existing song, and think up new words for  
it??"  
  
"And what song would this be, Wing-beast?" asked the Irken.  
  
"A song from a video game I've played, called 'Melodies of Life'," she answered, shifting the  
great weight of her metallic wings a bit.  
  
"Alright. Let's get working." Tak sounded rather hopeful. She believed this could turn out to be  
a good experience.  
  
Dib agreed. "Let's hear how this song goes, and work on from there. We need to select parts for  
each of us, and try to balance them out as evenly as possible, then we each write our own  
sections."  
  
  
** Ten minutes before the show  
  
"SUCCESS!!" announced Zim, throwing his arms into the air in victory.  
  
Tak glanced over their messy pages and shrugged. "Good enough."  
  
Fausta grinned. "Wasn't this a fun experience??"  
  
Both the words 'yes' and 'yeah...RIGHT' came upon the tip of everyones' tongue, but they all  
stayed silent, and busied themselves, reading over their parts.  
  
Dib snorted. "Now we have to go up in front of the whole skool and do this..." The Human groaned.  
  
"It won't be that bad," retorted the Wing, fairly proud of their work.  
  
A low hiss suddenly rung out from the front of the room. "..Children.... Head for the cafeteria,  
WITH your performances READY..."  
Mister Bitters pretty much slithered off, ahead of the class.  
  
The team of doom exchanged confident glances and followed.  
  
  
** The cafeteria  
  
Mister Bitters looked about his students. They were all frightened to death, behind the stage,  
all, except... THEM.. The green alien, the dark girl, the winged one, and the Swollen Eyeball  
member.  
Heh... Of all the groups... THEM. It was funny how they could work together so well. Not a funny  
'haha', or even a funny 'hehe', a funny 'strange'.  
The Bitters narrowed his eyes, and his gleaming oval glasses narrowed with them.  
"ZIM! Your party goes up first!" the instructor barked.  
  
The party froze at the cold voice, and hurried onto stage.  
  
A male announcer at the microphone peeked behind the red curatins, at the group assembled there.  
"Ummm... okay... For our first ah.. TALENTED team for our talent show, we have four fre-- um, I  
mean four WONDERFUL students..."  
He had a bit of an eye twitch.  
"Uh, a green skinned guy with no uh.. ears or nose, but a great deal of TALENT..." he looked at  
the paper he held. "Uh, ZIM!!"  
  
None of the four moved.  
  
The announcer's eye twitched again, and he sharply motioned for Zim to step out.  
  
The Irken did so, but reluctantly. He smiled nervously at the vast audience and waved.  
"Ah, uh. GREETINGS, Earthenoids! I AM ZIIIIM!!!"  
  
"Yeah, we heard already!" cried out some random girl.  
  
Crumpled paper balls hit Zim lightly in the head, and belly.  
  
"Argh, my squeedilyspooch!!" he cried, clutching the 'wound'.  
  
T.O "He's THAT sensitive?" asked Dib bluntly.  
  
Tak snorted. "Pathetic."  
  
The announcer guy coughed, and resumed his announcing.  
"And... the winged, feathery wonder.. uh.. Dib??"  
  
Fausta slaps her blushing face, and Dib groans.  
  
"Oh wait, nevermind, the wingy girl must be Fausta, but.. huh, the records say she's a boy...  
Weird.."  
(Obviously, the announcer's smarter than most people in the world of IZ! He can recognize things  
out of the ordinary, and see that Fausta is indeed female.)  
The announcer guy coughs. "Whatever.."  
  
The Onyx Wing shrugs, and hops out. She glances at the sea of watching Humans, and promptly  
passes out in her initial stage fright.  
  
Zim snickers. "Weak Wing-beast." Another paperball hits him. "OW!!"  
  
The announcer sighs. "Ehh... next, is the ever-trenchcoat-wearing Dib! I can't believe it,   
people! It's SUMMER! Let's give a warm hand to this grand young fellow!"  
  
Dib walks out from behind the thick red curtains, waving meekly.  
  
There is no applause for him, but a single pair of hands, in the front row of benches.  
A girl in pastel green, smiling and cheering the teen boy on. "Do your best, Dib."  
  
Dib already pale visage flushes, and he scratches the back of his head, as people wonder why that  
girl was encouraging one of the three great freaks.  
  
"Aaaaand," continued the announcer guy, "Last, and perhaps not least, Tak, the hideous blue  
haired girl!"  
  
Tak steps out with a half-frown, her hands straight at her sides. She kicks at Fausta's side, to  
wake her up.  
  
The Wing cringes, stands, and tries not to faint again.  
  
The announcer gives Zim the microphone after saying one last thing, "And now, for your talent-  
hungry appetites, here is your first performance! Bye!"  
He runs offstage. Very quickly.  
  
Zim is sweating a bit, but he quickly works up a Zim-confident tone and smirk.  
"Now, Earth-stink! Listen with your EARS, as we four dazzle you to the brink of your sanity with  
our grand song of DOOM!!"  
  
The other three were actually really surprised that the male Irken wasn't trying to take all the  
credit.  
  
"It is called 'Melody of DOOM'! Enjoy it, ENJOY IT, or face the wrath of ZIIIiiiimmm and his  
song-writers-in-arms!" threatened Zim in third person, as he did often.  
The Irken gestured to Fausta to start off the song with her part.  
  
The Wing closed her eyes to block out the sight of the watching Humans, and sang.  
Fausta:  
You think I'd fall to you? (she demands, pointing to Dib, who sneers.)  
Well, you're gonna be surprised! :D  
I'll sweep away your world (sweeping motion with an arm and a wing)  
Right before your swollen eyes!! (Dib scowls)  
Like invaders before me, I will not fail!  
It will beeee meee, whom that you hail! (evil grin, and motions to Dib)  
  
Dib: (clears throat)  
Your evilness is great,  
But you yourselves are not. (glares at his team)  
I'll stop any doomer  
Like my conscience has me taught!  
Never shall I lose to aliens like you! (Fausta mouths that she is NOT an alien.)  
You can never beat me; I'm not a fool. (signals Zim)  
  
Zim: (haughitly and enthusiastically)  
GIVE UP, foul Human-beaaaast!! (Dib frowns)  
You're sadder than an old sack of meaaat! (Dib frowns more)  
I. SHALL. RULE! (powerful sounding)  
The mighty Zim's glory is EEEEternaaaaal!! (Tak starts before Zim signals)  
  
Tak: (in a beautiful voice. Now we know why she chose singing, huh?)  
I SEE through your minds, (a hand to her head, and pointing at her team)  
CLEAR as summers' days.  
Simple beings, you'll suffer... :)  
In agonyyyy!!! ("I knew I should've read these first..." mumbles Dib)  
Your screams will go on and on...! (everyone looks scared, and Tak smiles)  
Like melodies of bliss,  
My happiness shall flow out from those cries!  
For years... and beyond... (waves a dismissive gloved hand to Fausta)  
  
Fausta: (trying very hard to sound as good as Tak)  
Soaring high above, (stretches wings to full span)  
In both body and the mind,  
My abilities, though mortal,  
are still the BEST of your time!  
The Earth is mine! Submit!! (to Dib)  
Don't make it so difficult.  
Can't you see, your fates lie... (to the audience)  
In this Human dolt! (smiles to Dib)  
  
Dib: (rolls his eyes)  
Destiny WILL turn for you. (to the team)  
And in a BAD way, I know this is truuue.  
Mankind will previal!  
I am their visionary,  
And sav-i-oooor!!  
  
Tak: (cutting in again)  
A FOOL from my past (glowers at Zim)  
Keeps me to this world!  
And soon, I assure you,  
his time will coooome!!  
And end full of vile things!!  
Meats of pure evil, (thinks about her meat factory)  
And more, obey my every saaay!  
So, get out of ...my way! (shoves through her three team members)  
  
However, something goes wrong here, as one of Tak's hands is a bit low, and hits Zim in his   
squeedilyspooch. The male Irken seizes up in pain, and cannot sing while groaning in pain.  
And it's HIS part up next! It was also the finale!!  
Tak doesn't seem to mind though, and just chuckles.  
Fausta and Dib look at each other. They couldn't take Zim's part. It didn't fit either of them!  
And they could just do an entire song section improv style!  
The team thinks that their grand performance has gone to a horrible end, when a new singer picks  
up the song.  
  
A spooky and soft, yet stern voice, the voice of Dea.  
  
Dea:  
And more problems come...,  
To discover, ...to destroy.  
All with their different reasons  
To be their way. (motions to Zim and his team, who seem disturbed)  
Doom shall rain upon you all. (she didn't mean Dib too, when she said this, though)  
I'll make sure of it.  
After all, I've nothing better to doooo...  
As long as.... I'm around you... (Dea and Zim exchange doom-glares)  
  
The audience of hi skoolers are silent as the song ends, and the whole room is for a moment,  
under a strange quiet.  
Then, a sound of clapping is heard, but from a strange one-- Mister Bitters.  
Upon seeing this, the members of the skool faculty, and the students begin to applaud as well.  
Dear, dear, what a sound!  
The great plaudits boost the already-very-arrogant Human's, Irkens', and Wing's egoes up several  
notches.  
Their pride gets the better of them, and they all bow generously, fairly dripping with   
haughtiness.  
  
Yet, later on, after all the commotion and excitement, the four separately wonder why Dea had  
jumped up on stage and saved their misfortunate selves.  
Was it because Dib was with them?  
Was it a convenient and stylish way to convey her doom-warning to them?  
  
And, as the mighty trio of this fic are heading down the same street, each toward their different  
homes (though Fausta still couldn't get into hers), the Human notes something.  
  
Dib speeded up to get in front of his two rivals, and turned to face them, continuing to walk.  
"Hey, you know what?"  
  
"What?" questioned the Irken back, in his usual almighty manner.  
  
"Quid?" asked the Wing curiously, and in Latin too, just to add a bit more difference, in this  
very different day.  
  
"We all completely forgot to USE Tak's voice-altering-thingy, and we all sounded pretty good  
anyway!" answered the Dib.  
  
o.o;; The three looked at each other, rather disbelieving.  
And then, Dib tripped on a piece of uneven sidewalk concrete, and fell over.  
  
----------------------------------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Yaaay!! I found this rather fun to write! Mister Bitters is a valde mysterious one.  
And they worked together so NICELY (heh, sure)! You know, in their own kind of nice. ^_^;;;;  
So anyway, if any readers here are humongous Final Fantasy fans (mecoughme!), you may know the  
tune of 'Melodies of Life', which would be kewl, 'cause then you could sing the Melodies of DOOM  
lyrics out! ^____^;;;; Lol. Anyhoo, hope you enjoyed!  
  
Da Lesson o' This Chapter: It's hard to walk backwards on a sidewalk. (Apparently for Dib and I,  
anyway.)  
  
  
~*~Melodies of DOOM  
  
You think I'd fall to you?  
Well, you're gonna be surprised.  
I'll sweep away your world,  
right before your SWOLLEN eyes.  
Like invaders before me, I will not fail.  
It will beeeee meee, whom that you hail.  
  
Your evilness is great,  
but you yourself are not.  
I stop any doomer  
like my conscience has me taught!  
Never shall I lose to aliens like you!  
You can never beat me; I'm not a fool.  
  
Give up, foul Human-beaaast!!  
You're sadder than an old sack of meaaat!  
I. SHALL. RULE!  
The mighty Zim's glory is EEEEE-ternaaaal!!  
  
I see through your minds,  
clear as summer day.  
Simple beings, you'll suffer...  
in agonyyyy!!  
Your screams will go on and on...!  
Like melodies of bliss,  
my happiness shall flow out from those cries!  
For years and beyond...  
  
Soaring high above,  
in both body and the mind,  
my abilities, though mortal,  
are still the BEST of your time!  
Earth is mine! Submit!!  
Don't make it so difficult.  
Can't you see, your fates lie in...  
this Human dolt!  
  
Destiny WILL turn for you.  
And in a BAD way, I know this is true.  
Mankind will prevail!  
I'm their visionary,  
and savioooor!!  
  
A FOOL from my past  
keeps me to this world!  
And soon, I assure you,  
his time will coooome!!  
An end full of vile things!!  
Meats of pure evil,  
and more, obey my every saaay!  
So, get out of my waaay!  
  
And more problems come,  
to discover, ...to destroy.  
All with different reasons  
to be their way.  
Doom shall rain upon you all.  
I'll make sure of it.  
After all, I've nothing better tooo doooo...  
as long as......I'm around you... 


	23. Hey, That's Scoodge!

pureVENOM: Hiya!! Yaaay, I got Ashton in Star Ocean 2! He's so kewl!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chapitre Vingt-trois: Hey, That's Scoodge!  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I try and try to remember things from my past. My past life, actually. After several minutes of  
careful reminiscing, I can almost see something with my mind's eye. But, when I try to grasp the  
picture, to see it more clearly and in detail, it falls apart, and I am left with nothing again.  
Dea sat with her elbow on her knee, and her chin on her hand.  
"What a miserable anima the dead have," she grumbled almost silently.  
  
"What's wrong, Dea?" asked the Dib, concerned. His friend seemed lost in thought, sitting upon  
the skool bench in the afterskool sunlight.  
"What's on your mind?"  
  
"Nothing much," she responded honestly.  
  
Fausta kicked her legs rapidly, upon the far edge of the bench away from Dea. "I cannot believe  
you STILL don't know she's Lilith!"  
  
"Why else would she have jumped into our performance and spout about dooming us all!?" questioned  
Zim, shanking an angry fist.  
  
Dea smirked evilly at the two and gave an innocent look to Dib.  
  
Dib snorted. "Look, she SAVED our song, that's all. You two should be a LITTLE more thankful, you  
know."  
  
"Oh, it's alright, really. I don't mind. I understand entirely how they feel." Dea picked a loose  
thread of her pale green tunic. Annoyingly, it did not snap until it had pulled out to about five  
inches.  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Fausta twisted her mouth in a middle-feeling expression. "Hey, how come Tak doesn't hang out with  
us more?"  
  
"Why SHOULD she, Wing-beast?" growled Zim.  
  
"Dunno. I guess it's 'cause we're like the outcasts on Earth or something." She stretched her   
wings nervously. Dea was very spooky, even when she wasn't trying to be.  
  
"Similarites may bring people together, but it cannot erase your strifes nor differences, you  
know," Dea commented.  
  
"Aw, so you think Tak's always gonna hate us?" she questioned.  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Gee, what a nice answer."  
  
"Yes."  
  
Fausta frowned at the poltergeist.  
"In any case, I guess I'm off. Don't know why I don't just stay here a little longer, though.   
It's not like I can get home or anything. I guess I just feel kind of uncomfortable sitting with  
all my doomful rivals and such around me."  
  
"Poor you," Dea sympathized sacastically.  
  
"Ah, be quiet, ghostie."  
  
"Hmph."  
  
Dib looked about, at Zim and Dea. "So! Who's up for a game of three-way tic tac toe??"  
  
  
  
*** Hours later, in Dib's front lawn  
  
Anyway, it's about evening time now, and Dib's pointing out to Dea various constellations, the  
places where he's noted strange spacial activity, different planets, where he believed Irk was,  
and all that stuff.  
  
Dea peered through the telescope, listening intently. The black blanket of space littered with  
sparkling dots was very familiar-feeling to her, and she vastly enjoyed it, and looked all about  
the darkening sky. Such a powerful scope.  
She noted a bright white dot heading towards them at a very high speed.  
"What is this, Dib? I don't think it's a meteorite."  
  
"Meteorite?" Dib glanced through the telescope as Dea moved aside.  
"Holy kiwis!! It's a spacecraft!! And it's coming straight towards Earth!"  
  
"Oh? You seem so excited. Aren't you used to this kind of thing by now?"  
  
"Ah, well. I'm just wondering who this person could be. I don't think this is any Human craft."  
The Dib, busily adjusted the knobs on the scope, trying to get a better view of the small ship.  
  
"Is there something wrong, Dib? You seem rather nervous. I'm sure there's nothing of any  
significant danger in the thing," Dea commented, thinking the ship tiny, alone, and harmless.  
  
Dib was quiet for a moment. Then, "Well... Gaz, my sister. She told me that someone new would   
land on Earth this summer."  
  
"Summer, huh? Well, there's only one day of skool left until break, so I suppose it's rather  
convenient time?" asked the green-clad poltergeist.  
  
"But, she also implied that he'd be not-as-stupid as Zim. He could be rather threatening, you  
know?"  
  
Dea shrugged. "Alright. So where do you think he'll land?"  
  
"I'm calculating that right now. Hm... I thinking somewhere within two miles from here," replied  
the Dib.  
  
"Amazing."  
  
The Human sighed. "I've had way too many weird coincidences in my life."  
  
"Like your life's being written out by some demented being, huh?" asked his friend.  
  
"Ugh. I don't know... But that's sort of a discouraging thought."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
  
  
*** Zimmy's base!  
  
The Irken was working hard on attempting to pinpoint where the craft, actually a spacial   
trashcan, was going to hit. The computer had detected an Irken lifeform within it, but could not  
identify exactly who it was.  
  
"ARGH!! Who is this, riding in a spacial trash receptical!?" Zim glowered at the computer screen.  
  
GIR hopped up giddily. "Hehe, Master! Lookit what I'm doing!!" The SIR was spinning around on his  
antenna and making a lot of excess noises of happiness.  
  
Zim shook his head. "Not now, GIR! I'm very busy! It seems Earth is about to have a new visitor."  
  
"OOOOOH!!" GIR oohed. "Waz the visitor like!?"  
  
"I don't know, GIR. Why don't you go and.. play upstairs or something? You're distracting me."  
  
"OKIE!!" the little robot cried as he sped off.  
  
The Irken sighed. "Now... AGH!! WHAT THE!?" He looked down at his belly, where GIR was latched  
around him.  
"GIR! Release me at once! What are you doing!!"  
  
The SIR tightened his hug, making his Master squeak. GIR giggled at this. "I'sa hugging you,  
Master!!"  
  
"Why!? I did not ask for a HUG!"  
  
"But you neeeeeed one!!"  
  
"I do NOT require such silly and trivial unmaterial things!"  
  
"But you're always working, and that Dib, and Tenn, and Tak, and people are so mean to you! You  
wanna taquito, Master?? I wanna taquito!! Hug-lacks are bad for you!" squealed GIR in response.  
  
"GIR... I'm not hungry. Go and eat a taquito with your moose, alright?"  
  
The SIR hopped away with a squeek, and complied, to fill his steel stomach.  
  
  
  
*** A random street not too far away  
  
"Yow! A craft-thing! It's gonna hit! Duck and cover! Tortoise and split, et cetera!" cried Fausta  
as she leapt over behind a large oak tree.  
  
The spacial trash receptical hit the ground with a resonating 'TING!!', and lots of clods o'  
dirt, metal, and such eruption from the point of impact.  
  
"Yargh. Heh, the Humans are gonna have a great time filling in that little crater."  
The Wing stepped nimbly up to the trashcraft, and gasped as someone groaned and shoved away the  
steaming scraps of metal.  
  
"Uhhh..." A rather short and squat Irken with a tattered and stained uniform popped up. He rubbed   
his probably very aching head, and glanced at Fausta.  
"Huh, a Wing? Just what planet am I standing on?"  
  
"Earth, Irken. Say, are you alright? That was a poor landing. You must be tired or something!  
Hey, why are you here? Why are in a trashcan? Why do you wanna be on EARTH?? It's a lousy planet,  
I tells ya."  
Her eyes widened and became very evil-looking.  
"And this planet's MINE! ALL MINE!! I have enough competition as it is!! YOU KEEP YOUR INVADING  
SKILLS AWAY!!!"  
  
The Irken cringed. "Uh huh. Well... In any case, I am Scoodge. I don't have any intention on  
conquering this planet, good Onyx Wing!"  
  
".... Oh. Okay."  
  
"Competition, huh? By whom, may I ask?" questioned Scoodge, smoothing out his uniform.  
  
"Ah, some duo of Irkens, Tak and Zim. Maybe you know them. Apparenly, Tak used to be some soldier  
hotshot, and Zim's an infamous troublemaker. And he still hasn't changed. Also, there's this  
meddling Human who pops up all the time."  
Fausta shrugged.  
  
Scoodge nodded. "Ah. Well, that's interesting. I came here looking for ZIM, you know."  
  
"Really?? Whatever for? He ruined your life too??"  
  
The Irken twitched an antenna a bit. "Hm, he does have affect on those around him, doesn't he?"  
  
The Wing nodded. "Oh, yes. Doomful fellow. Heh. Isn't it amazing how we all come together like  
this? What a small universe we live in."  
  
"Mm. So, I assume you know the coordinates of his base?"  
  
"Ah, just head down this street 'til you get the the grocery store, take a left, and keep going,   
and you'll find a tall, skinny, flourescent violet and green house. You can't miss it!"  
  
"Oh, thank you." Scoodge began to start off, but then stopped.  
"Say, do you have any idea where I could set up a small, temporary quarters of my own, Onyx   
Wing?"  
  
"Ah, anywhere's just fine, I guess. Earthen society and stuff's pretty desultory, ya know."  
  
"Understood. You have my gratitude." The Irken pulled out one of those little devices, sketched  
a quick picture, put it in the middle of the street, and ran off the side with the Wing as it   
erupted into a seemingly one-story, small sized military-looking building.  
There were probably floors below ground level. The building was light grey, and very squarish.  
A few smallish windows, and unfriendly-looking towering weapons were about the building here and   
there.  
  
"Ooh. Nice job. You do lots of engineering art work? Fast, simple, and effective," the Wing  
complimented.  
  
"I've had my share of experience. Hoo-hah!" said Scoodge victoriously.  
  
"Alrighty. Well, I guess I'll be going now." The Wing tilted her head to the side, and walked  
away, while calling out a warning. "Though I suggest you don't get mixed up with Zim. He's a  
living hazard to everyone around him, including himself. Beware!"  
Fausta felt rather happy, in a gloomy sort of way. "What a polite Irken that Scoodge is."  
  
  
*** along some nearby street  
  
Dib panted as he ran. Whew! What a run! Had... to.. get...to.. crash/landing site..!  
  
Dea had chosen not to come along. She was rather exhausted from the day. The warmth of sunlight  
was pleasant, but tiring, she noticed.  
  
Dib paused, as he surveyed the new alien base, freshly set-up, in the middle of the road. Huh.  
His brown eyes caught sight of a new Irken, who was busily doing something to some alien vehicle.  
Dib shuddered mentally. So many aliens...  
The Human began to whistle casually and walked up, in spite of the many guard lasers around.  
"So! What's up?? Just moved here, huh? You look like you're not from around here!"  
  
And that was putting it lightly. I mean, a being with antennae, green skin, and a pink uniform  
just probably isn't from Center City.  
  
"I suppose you could say that. Although, I'm not planning on staying here for long. I just have  
a ...HAZARD to dispose of, and then I'll just grab a cruiser and be off."  
  
"Oh?" Dib put his hands in his pockets. "Well, what might this 'hazard' be??"  
  
Scoodge sighed. "No one you's know of, Earthling. Why do you interrogate me so? Is this standard  
Earth behavior for greeting new ones?"  
  
"Um, ah.. yes! Hm, I didn't think Irkens would know the term 'Earthling'. I've always heard them   
say 'Earthenoid'."  
  
"Huh? So you know of the Irkens?"  
  
"Wha- Um, sort of!" Dib gave a dopely smile, trying to feign partial ignorance of the Irken race.  
  
"Then you must be that Human the Onyx Wing spoke of."  
  
"Wing?? You mean Fausta??"  
  
Scoodge shrugged slightly. "I know only her rank, not name. Leave here, please. I'm very occupied  
with preparations at the moment."  
  
"Wait. This hazard wouldn't be Earth, would it?" Dib questioned, in concern for his planet.  
  
Scoodge scoffed. "Earth?? Hah, you jest! This feeble, spherical mound of dirt could never pose a  
threat to anyone."  
  
"Well, then what is it?"  
  
"A fellow Irken called ZIM."  
  
"Zim!?" Dib becomes very amicable all of a sudden. "Hey, if you need help in any way, to get rid  
of ZIM, just let me know!"  
  
"I'll not need any assistance, thank you, sir."  
  
"Wait a second."  
Tak and her SIR MeMi, very suddenly popped into view from somewhere. I tells ya, if that Irken  
had the mind to, she'd make a great magician!  
"Scoodge, eh?"  
  
Scoodge looked up in surprise, and the two former invaders exchanged familiar glances.  
  
"Pleasure to see you again, soldier." Tak saluted.  
  
Scoodge saluted in return.  
"Indeed, it is nice to see an old face. Ah, TAK, how have you been all these years?"  
  
"In any case, I've much to do since MeMi's been offline for so long. But I warn you, soldier. Zim  
is MINE to doom." Tak smirked and ran off, in her very fast Tak-like way.  
  
"We'll see about that. Hoo-hah! I can beat that old soldier to the dooming; no problem!" said a  
haughty Scoodge.  
  
"What, so you two are on a race to destroy Zim now, or something?" asked Dib.  
  
"Is there something wrong with that?"  
  
"Um.. well, no, I guess. But it seems like really a LOT of Irkens are out for his head, you   
know?" explained the Dib. "Those.. tall.. guys. You, Tak, Tenn, and even me. But I guess he does  
deserve it?"  
  
"Yes, he does. You'd be surprised how many more of us are out there." Scoodge, then shooed the  
Human away with a gloved hand.  
"Go, go, now. Can't you see I'm very busy? Doomin' time! Hoo-hah!"  
  
"Okie, bye then!"  
  
  
  
*** Zim's base  
  
"Ahh... Master, I think you should take a look at this," warned the computer in a nervous voice,  
showing a split screen. One half displayed Tak, who was cruising in a Voot vehicle, with a stern   
yet glad smirk set across her hologrammed Human face.  
The other half showed Scoodge fiddling with a big, threatening-seeming rocket-thingie. A picture  
of Zim's face was painted on the side, with a fat red X through it.  
  
"What? Whaat?? What is it??" questioned Zim distractedly, as he was trying finish up a mongoose-  
powered laser of unspeakable horrors.  
  
"Uhh, just.. just look, okay, Master?"  
  
"Oh, alright--" He glanced at the computer screen.  
T_T "You could've made it sound a bit more urgent, you know."  
  
"I guess..."  
  
Time for panicking.  
"OH, BY THE NAME OF IRK!! That's SCOODGE! Last I saw him, he was on Hobo 13. Wow, THAT brings  
back some memories." The Irken, seemed to have forgotten all about panicking.  
"Huh? What's with that foooolish-looking missile?" And he was now set upon insulting his foes.  
"That would neeever even begin to SCRATCH my beautiful base!"  
  
"Actually, Master, I ran a scan on the weapon, and it has the power to blow out about 54.784  
percent of the planet."  
  
" 'ABOUT', huh?" repeated Zim, narrowing his crimson eyes.  
  
"Ah, yeah, about."  
  
"Hehehehe!! Are Tak and the new Irk-guy going to visit you, Master??" giggled GIR, oblivious to  
the oncoming doom and stuff.  
  
"..." Zim used all the power in his MIGHTY BRAIN to think of what to do next. "Computer! Prepare  
the Voot Cruiser. I'll take care of all our problems personally."  
  
"Are you sure that's a good idea?? I don't think--"  
  
"Pessimistic, insubordinate contraption!! OBEY ME!!"  
  
"Okay, okay.. sheesh..."  
  
The computer promptly had the Voot up and ready. Humming with energy, just beggin' for usage and  
doomage.  
  
Zim, all kewl and militarian-like, motions to GIR, and they both hop into the Voot.  
  
And as the vehicle sped off, through the opening violet roof, there was a high-pitched squeal.  
"Whee hee heeeee!! Doooom!"  
  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Whee!! So, how you like? Meow, meow, meow!  
Yikes! I LOVE the music in Dark Cloud! Ruby and Xiao are fantastical!  
Valete, omnes! 


	24. Doomy Doomy Stuff

pureVENOM: Heh, does anyone really read my current ramblings about my life, that I put before every chapter?  
  
Well, I think I know how I hurt my leg so badly last year. It must've been from my poor diet full of unhealthy and unbalanced food, and I was pushing myself too hard on the leg weights. I guess it made my leg bones weaker or something, and they were already damaged enough  
from some stupid spinning accident before.  
  
More Complaining about my School From Me--  
Oh man, our school stinks, and most of the authorities are full o' crap. And I dunno WHAT is going on with my grades. I mean, look!-  
P.E. Wght Trning; ..A-  
Eng 2 H; ...........A-  
Alg 2 Trig; ........DDDDDDDD  
Bio Acc; ...........A-  
Wrld Hist H; .......A- (might be lower now o.O;;;)  
Frnch 2; ...........A (Hehe. That's a lot of 2s)  
  
ARGH!! Does something stand out?? I wonder.  
  
Anyway, I'm HAPPY to announce... that I just may continue to learn Latin from a respectable teacher with some friends! Yaaaay! I hope everything works out!  
  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chapter XXIV: Doomy Doomy Stuff  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
There comes many times in every one's life that they make large decisions, life-changing choices as well. It's just that some make more than others, and weirder ones than others.  
At the moment, our Irken 'hero' races towards a formidable doomer, whom he has indirectly caused doom to, so many times before.  
Zim versus Scoodge, or Zim against Tak. Who would win? Who COULD win? Did Tak and Scoodge not possess much greater skill than that of Zim's? Well, we just may see.  
  
GIR, though he knew something big was up, could not help but sate his puerile self by oogling through the speeding craft's bubble-like windows, and making silly happy faces.  
These little childish actions of the robot stopped abruptly as the ship he rode in with his master received a very sharp blow.  
  
The small robot squealed loudly in shock, but Zim was silent, and their ship spun roughly to face and counter the offender.  
  
"Master, you're so good at flying!!" cried the robot, who was splayed on his tiny back.  
  
True, the Irken was an exceptional pilot, but most were anyway. Right now, Tak was readying her retaliation, another good, strong bash. Then, she'd probably rear up and fire lasers.  
Tak made a tight circle round Zim's craft, trying to get behind him. But of course, Zimmy had no intention on letting her do that. 'Cause THAT would be bad.  
The Zim slammed a fist onto a spot on his dashboard, opening up a communication link with his homicidal foe.  
  
"Tak! Hey, hold on a second!" he cried out as her ship began to set its missiles.  
  
Tak stopped her actions for a moment complying. Then she responded, "I gave you two. Now prepare for doom."  
  
"AHHHHHHH!!" Zim started screaming in horrific horror. "AHHHHHHHH!!!!"  
  
"Wh? I haven't even done anything to you yet!" said Tak, annoyed.  
  
"Huh? Oh- oh yeah. Sorry."  
  
"Quite alright."  
  
"Now where was I?"  
  
"You were just screaming hysterically for no reason."  
  
"..." Zim blinked and made a dark look. "In ANY CASE, Tak. Do you realize that Scoodge is about to fire a BIG, crazy rocket capable of blowing half the planet into little filth chips, right at me??"  
  
Tak's taloned hands left her ship's controls to curl into fists. "No! You lie...!" she hissed, not wanting to believe him.  
  
"Nope. It's no lie."  
  
"You fib!"  
  
"FIB?? I don't even know what that means!"  
  
Tak's glass-sharp eyes narrowed to a glowing ultraviolet. "Of course you don't..."  
The would-be Irken elite held up a single forefinger. "Zim, just wait right there! I'm going to talk to Scoodge! And THEN I'm going to horribly disfigure you!"  
  
Zim fake-grinned and saluted. Satisfied with that, Tak sped off, back where she'd flown from.  
  
"Whew! I really didn't think it'd be that easy!" Zim wiped his forehead with a gloved hand. "What about you GIR?"  
  
"CHICKENS!!! Hehehe!!"  
  
"Riiight." Zim slapped his hands together, making a loud clap. "Now GIR, this is where you come in!" He opened up the windshield.  
  
"In?? In where?? Are we goin' somewhere, Master??" GIR looked about, very eagerly.  
  
"No, GIR."  
  
"Awww..."  
  
"But YOU are."  
  
"YAAAAAY."  
  
"I want you to follow Tak's ship, okay?"  
  
GIR nodded in understanding, though that didn't really make Zim any more confident in the robot.  
  
"Don't get in the way or be weird. Just follow Tak like a moose would follow a lamprey." The Irken said this sentence very dramatically.  
"Do...you...understand...?"  
  
"FREEEEEEEEZies!!" screeched GIR as he propelled himself through the open window.  
  
The Ikren sighed. "Good enough, I suppose."  
  
  
*** At the Dib's  
  
Dib sipped at a cup of very green tea as he happily typed at his laptop with his free hand.  
  
With a soft rustling of rough fabrics, Dea is acknowledged within his presence.  
She steps eeriely forth, long jade-colored clothing swaying. She's slurping up some coffee.  
  
"What are you doing, Dib?" She carefully eyed the pictures on the small computer's screen.  
Pictures of strange, monster-lookin' people in a dim, yet lively enviroment that she knew.  
"What is that?"  
  
"THIS," the boy began. "Is going to earn me a title among my Swollen Eyeball comrades!"  
  
"Yes, so just exactly where is this?"  
  
Dib beamed. "These are pictures I took recently while in a large hollow in the Earth, called the Underworld. I figured that since I'm not needed for any Zim-dooming, I'd work on this. I'm trying to write a report to go with these pictures."  
  
"Oh. How fascinating..."  
  
Dib noticed a slight unhappiness in Dea's tone. "What's wrong?"  
  
"Wh- N-nothing. I... was just ..wondering if you'd want any help!"  
  
"Nah, not really. I've got it under control. But I would like it if you'd stay and keep me company." Dib's smile twisted itself a little.  
  
"I'd love to."  
  
Gaz took this moment to walk into the scene.  
  
"Hey, Gaz!" greeted Dea.  
  
The sibling of Dib did not respond to the poltergeist, but then turned back with an eerie smile.  
"It's windy today."  
  
"Is it?" asked her brother.  
  
"A storm's coming."  
  
"A storm in the summer?" Dib scoffed.  
  
"That's what I think, and you better hope so," Gaz replied, her grin fading.  
  
Dib didn't like the sound of that. But before he could further question his sister, she walked off.  
". . . . ."  
  
Dea was unnerved by the silence of the place. ". . . Well, let's take a look at your pictures then, Dib!"  
  
  
*** At the house of the Onyx Wing...  
  
"Compy, you little, over-circuited, calculating beast!!" screamed Fausta as she dodged being hit by several of her books, which were being vacuum-sucked out of her quarters.  
She stood up and shook her fists angrily. But then dropped back to the ground, nearly being smacked by the house's computer shooting out her desk.  
  
"Shout all you want, imposter! Once the real mistress returns, we'll deal with you, mortal!" taunted the computer through unseen speakers.  
"Sadly, I have orders from the master to eject all of Fausta's personal belongings at you. Feel honored!!"  
  
Fausta bared her fangs, and growled at the house.  
Humans walking by, looked very nervous. Afterall, they were seeing a short winged girl growling at a talking house like a dog, with thick books strewn everywhere.  
  
The computer shot out another thing now to chase off the "imposter". Paper.  
  
"My works!" Fausta gasped in dismay. She couldn't believe what had gotten into her cousin, telling the computer to toss all her stuff. He'd always been a bit mean, but THIS was CRUEL!  
  
Countless pages covered in scribbles, writing, and sketches fluttered in the outside breeze-- the winds then carried them across the street and along the sidewalks. The area was soon blanketed in a thin covered of shivering white.  
  
  
  
*** At Dib's  
  
"Isn't it beautiful?" asked the Human.  
  
"What? Your pictures?" asked the poltergeist, tapping her finger against the cold, bright screen.  
  
Dib took a deep breath and shook his huge head.  
"Not just that. Think about it. There's a whole other world just miles beneath our feet. The air is clean, unlike here."  
  
A memory of Dib standing on the sidewalk appears in the Human's head. A car zooms by, choking the kiddie with a humongous cloud of smog. Then, a toxic acid-rain cloud showers over the Dib, causing the boy to gag on the chemical fumes.  
  
"There's spiffy magic and stuff, also. Nothing like that on this outer Earth."  
  
Another memory-- that of a Human magician with a wand, tapping his hat on stage. Frogs, cream cheese, and an antelope come out of the hat, but not a bunny rabbit. The magician is booed off   
the stage, being pelted with messy tomatoes.  
  
"The people there are so interesting too, and the only hobos there are in fairy tales!"  
  
Dea fiddled with her chain pendant. "This Underworld can't be as perfect as you make it seem."  
  
"Well, why not?"  
  
"Because nobody's perfect," the spooky gal stated simply.  
  
"But--"  
  
"And noTHING is perfect." She took a sip of coffee, savoring the strong, sweet-bitter taste. "You just have not spent enough time in this place. You'll see. Every little place in this plane has its own uglinesses."  
  
Dib frowned. "Why do you have to make it so gloomy, Dea? You don't know that. This right here," the Human said, pointing to the computer screen. "Is the Underworld. It's great. And that's the truth."  
  
"It's not all of the truth, Dib. And I know that if you really wanted to, you could easily find a blemish in this utopian world of yours. Dib, before you send this information to your Swollen Eyeball authorities, I want you to do more research on this place. I want you to see its many scratches in 'perfection'. They're probably polished over somehow, though, and will take time to detect."  
  
"Alright..., but Dea... do you know more about this place than I think you do..?"  
  
"Don't be silly."  
  
  
  
*** Somewhere  
  
"Invader Scoodge!" called an irritated Irken, as she climbed out of her cruiser.  
  
The squat male was still outside, but now had on some fancy gear and was watching expectantly.  
  
"I have reason to believe that in that old spacial trash receptacle you landed in, you have a doomful missile capable of blowing up half the Earth. And that you plan to use it on Zim."  
Tak paused.  
"You know, I just know realize how ridiculous that sounds."  
  
Scoodge shrugged. "But you're right."  
  
". . . I was hoping I wasn't."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
Tak's violet eyes widened in surprise. "Scoodge, this planet is mine! I am going to win it from that moron Zim, and present it all prettied up in wrapping paper, and filled with snacks, to the Almighty Tallests!"  
  
"Mmmmmmmmnope." There was now a laser in Scoodge's claws, pointed at his fellow Irken.  
  
Tak bared her teeth in fury, but made no sudden movements. "Why destroy half of my gift to the Tallests!? Why not just Zim?!"  
  
"Well, I've decided that I've had just about enough of kissing up to that vertically unchallenged duo of callous imbeciles, soldier! And I'm going to sabatoge Impending Doom II and get rid of any Irk-supporters, one soldier at a time. Then, I'm going back to Irk to wrap things up."  
  
Tak's eyes narrowed, as she felt her instincts kicking in. Her mind was awash-- what should she do? Move, and possibly be shot? Or stand still and STILL possibly be shot? Oh, and she could fight back, and almost definitely be shot.  
Why didn't she take her own laser out with her? What a foolish move.  
  
Now, Scoodge was just about to pull the trigger, and Tak was just about to jump up and strike at him, when...  
  
"ARRRRRRGHHHH!! Scoodge, could you get those for me!?!"  
Fausta came huffing and puffing by, grabbing at random papers in the wind.  
"C'mon! Scoodge! Tak! SOMEBODY help me!"  
  
With this distraction, Tak grabbed at Scoodge's laser with her gloved talons, and sharply kicked with her booted feet.  
  
Scoodge dropped in mild discomfort, and the two went growling and wrestling for control of the laser, the muzzle of which was pointing dangerously back and forth.  
  
The clueless Wing now noticed the scuffle behind her.  
"What are you guys doing? Why are you fighting??"  
  
Now, as we IZ fans all more or less know, 'what' and 'why' are meaningless questions in the goo-filled world of Zim. A question asked in the jellyfish-like land of Invader Zim should go more like 'HUH?'. That's right. HUH??  
  
A blast suddenly went off from the laser the two Irkens were wrestling over, and hit the watching Wing in the face.  
  
"AHHH!!" The Wing toppled over in moderate pain. "You...JERKS...." she mumbled, facedown on the pavement.  
  
GIR hopped beside Fausta, oblivious to Tak's and Scoodge's fight of life and death.  
"Look, I got you your papers!" he shrieked, bursting with pride.  
  
"Huh? Oh, thanks, GIR. You're such a good lil' robot." The Wing was about to stand back up, but decided she was safer on the ground. She took the pages.  
  
The SIR just about 'sploaded with joy, and went over to where Tak and Scoodge were still fighting.  
"OOOH!! GO TAKKY!! (Hehe.) AHOOOO! STRANGER, YAY! One, two, TACO!!!" he cheered both Irkens on.  
Apparently, GIR has completely forgotten his orders from Zim.  
  
  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Oh my. What shall happen in the very next chapter, I wonder. It's funny, how I plan out my story, and then as I'm writing it, huge masses and gobs of it change. So I never know what's going to happen either, really.  
Did my readers like this chapter?? Yes, no, maybe, so-so??? 


	25. Some Ouches

pureVENOM: Wow, Silver Neko, RogueStar, that was surprising. You two reviewed within like two hours of my posting. I was... surprised, and valde happy!! Anyhoo, the STUFF. It is happening. Yeeessss. And more stuff shall happen!  
Wow, I've been humming and singing Simple & Clean a lot recently.  
  
STUFF--  
Ooh, I have a TUTOR!! Yes, gasp. She is my friiieend, and a senior too! She's so nice, smart, and talented! Oh, why can't I be more like her?? Anyway, I hope I don't fail Alg2. We actually met because I'd drawn pictures on my biology quizzes, and she, being the TA, had corrected my work, and seen them. Art is so very good, and does pay off.  
  
MORE STUFF--  
Biology and history are depressing classes. I had no idea that cities in the U.S. were still dumping raw sewage into the ocean. And that there are marine biologists that say it's OKAY, and that the sea animals are healthy, even though it causes horrible diseases and deformities in marine life!! Dear Irk, indeed! Completely outrageous!!  
Hey, I heard that the "International Sniper" had once lived in Pinole, CA, the city of my high school. Oooh.  
  
I DUNNO LATIN--  
Hehe, we had a weekly prompt in English today to write on. The teacher made us try to translate a Latin quote on our own, and write about it. Of course, none of us could get the correct translation. The quote was "Dulce et decorum est pro patri mori."  
I translated my best as "Sweet decoration is before dead countries." It really ment "To die for your country is sweet and proper." Hehe. That line was too advanced for me. See how hard Latin is?  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Chapter XXV: Some Ouches  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
"Hey, hey! You two! Yeah," the Wing lying on the ground shouted. "Tak, Scoodge, quit that fightin' right now!! Or at least wait until I walk safely out of the scene!"  
  
The two obviously did not stop their fighting.  
Instead, "Be QUIET, Wing!" was their response.  
  
Fausta grumbled, and began to crawl away, not wanting to stand up and be in greater risk of being struck down by the randomly firing laser.  
  
GIR, with nothing else in mind to do, began to follow the feathered one. YAY!  
  
  
  
At the Dib's house--  
  
Now, the sun was beginning to set, and the afternoon sky was turning a lovely golden orange.  
Dib was packing to set out for his third trek down to the Underworld, holding his laptop under one arm, and a bag full of oddities with the other.  
Dea, who sat staring out of his living room window, with Gaz gaming nearby.  
  
"To be able to soar against that rich wonder..." the poltergeist said with a small smile.  
  
"Huh?" asked the Dib distractedly, as he slipped his sock-wearin' feet into some trekin' sneakers.  
  
"The sky. Doesn't it look beautiful?"  
  
The Human glanced through the window a second and shrugged. "S'okay."  
  
As Dea began to gaze at the sky again, and ton of gray, but equally rich clouds covered it up.  
"Aw man!" she fumed.  
  
Gaz smirked, as she continued to tap feverently at her game console. "Storm."  
  
  
  
  
At Tak's and Scoodge's fight--  
  
Still squabbling, the two were know even throwing insults and threats at each other. Lessee a bit of this...  
  
"Rrr!" growled Tak as she struck a viscous fist into her foe's shoulder. "When I've pummeled you into an achy Irken pulp, I'll have that defect blood of yours spurting out of your every little vein!"  
  
Scoodge kneed her in her wiry middle. "Mind you, that's not actually possible."  
  
Tak caught and yanked at one of Scoodge's antennae, almost snapping it. "Yeah, blood spurts out of arteries, not veins. . . ."  
  
They continued fighting for a few moments more in silence.  
  
"But I'll find a way to MAKE them spurt out of your veins too!!" she snarled, as she slammed another fist into the squat male's belly.  
  
"You just try!" Scoodge challenged, and countering with a sharp elbow.  
  
Okie, fight, fighty, fight. The two fought.  
  
  
  
  
In front of the base of Zim--  
  
A lone figure stood in the gnome-filled lawn, holding a bunch of papers of plans. He glanced across the small sea of green grass blades, and staring lawn decoration eyes. He then noted the presence of two familiar ones coming towards him.  
  
"Hey, what's up, Zim?" greeted the Wing, walking upright and feeling rather safe, especially with the SIR trailing after her like a duckling would follow its mother. Safety in numbers!  
  
"Hehehe!! Wassup, Master??" the robot giggled.  
  
Zim made an odd look and ignored the SIR.  
"Wing! I figured you would come here!"  
  
"Huh? Why so? I was jus' passing by. Soooo, BYE," she replied brusquely and continuing her walk.  
  
Zim grunted in annoyance, and leapt before her.  
"Look, Tak went after Scoodge, but I don't know how long she can last. Heh, hopefully just long ENOUGH, but in any case- Scoodge is going to destroy to lot of this planet, and I need a few helpers to stop him."  
  
"Urgh. So you want ME to help?? Why ME!?? I've got plenty of doom in my life already!" she whined, leafing through and counting the papers she held in her hand.  
  
"Silence with your complaining, Wing-worm!"  
  
"Say, ya haven't called me that in a LONG time!" Fausta laughed. "Okie then, but JUST because I can't let the Underworld be hurt, I dun wanna be doomed, and I still want to conquer the Overworld."  
  
"YAAAAAAY! Then we can get chili after dat!!" squealed GIR happily.  
  
"Alright," said Zim, still ignoring GIR. "Now I need that Dib and his young sibling. Go and get them for me, Wingy-beast. I shall unveil to you all my oh-so-wondrous plans."  
  
"Whatever."  
She tried to sound and act indifferent, but actually, she was freaked outta her mind. Destroy Earth? Scoodge had seemed sane enough! This had to be stopped!  
Once the Wing had walked out of Zim's sight range, she began running, and flapping, trying to get some lift.  
  
GIR then began screaming loudly and very frantically for no apparent reason. He just DOES that!  
  
  
  
  
At the Dib's--  
  
"DIIIIIIIIIIB-BUHH!!!!" called the Wing loudly as she plummeted from the sky due to the whippy and unpredictable winds, and she smashed into the doorstep.  
"AGH!! My face, again!" She sat there a moment shouting and yelling about crashing into the ground with her laser-crisped face.  
  
Some birds in the trees across the street snickered and made fun of the Wing's lousy flying. Heheee.  
  
"Are you done yet?" asked a blunt voice impatiently.  
  
Fausta looked up in surprise, to receive even more surprise, and she screamed. "AHHHH!!! THE HALLOWEENIE!!! I- uh -I just want to talk to Dib-Human and Dib-Sister!! Don't kill my life energy, please! I LIKE my life energy!!"  
  
"Huh. You're a lot more different around me when you're ALONE, hm, Fausta?" the poltergeist grinned EVILLY. (insert Ghostbusters theme music here. I love that song.)  
"Oh," she added as an afterthought. "Dib's not here now. He's in the Underworld, and is going to stay there for a short while. So, just drop any of your weird plots."  
  
"But, it's not ME who's plotting! It's the new alien! Zim's got a plan, and I was thinkin' it be a--"  
  
The front door slammed open, hitting both the Wing and poltergeist, who were standing outside it.  
  
"OW!"  
  
Gaz stalked out. "All right. I'm coming. Should be fun," she mumbled in her taciturn manner.  
  
Dea hopped a ways away and drummed her fingers against her arm. She then disappeared into the increasingly dark day.  
  
"Whew! You scared her away, Gaz!" said the Wing happily.  
  
"Be quiet. Come." The violet-clad Human roughly grabbed the Wing's wrist and pulled her along to the base of ZIM!  
  
  
  
  
ZIM!--  
  
Whilst the three with brain meats talked, GIR was folding origomi things with some old newpaper.  
The SIR folded a simple airplane, threw it, watched it fly, and giggled. Then, he folded a hoppy frog, thew it, expecting it to fly like the plane, and giggled again.  
  
"Hey, hey, hey!!!" shouted the Irken to the Wing. "You're missing the Dib-beast!"  
  
". . . So?" said the Wing, looking away.  
  
"Oh forget it. Anyway, Gaz, YOU will pilot my Voot to deal with the Scoodge-idiot. . ."  
  
Gaz rose a brow and sneered. ". . . Uh huh...?"  
  
"Well, you know, since. . .. you're so OKAY at ship-flying, and all," said Zim reluctantly, trying to happify the Gaz-beast.  
  
Gaz nodded, her smile growing with the praise she'd squeezed out of the alien. Squuezed like an sun-ripened orange.  
  
"And Wing, you will be the saboteur! Also, I want you to put--."  
  
Fausta blinked. "Ooooh?? Whadda I sabotage?? A bomb or something??"  
  
"Exactly! But I want you to put this chip," Zim showed her a small magnet-like item with a 'Z' on it, and then dropped it in her hand. "on the bomb. It'll let me hack into its computering, and let me find out what to do to it. Here."  
The Irken gave her a headphone set too.  
  
Her face fell. "Eh... That. . .sounds kinda dangerous?" Fausta's stony wings rustled with nervousness.  
  
"Whiner!" Gaz growled.  
  
"Wha-? Huh? Hmm. . .! FINE!" Fausta replied, insultedly. "I'll go and.. .. sabotage that bomb-thingy, and . . .stuff!"  
She walked away huffily with her equipment.  
  
Gaz headed up to the Voot, and her eyes widened and sparkled in the flight-desire. She'd been aching for a new 'game', since no new ones had come out in a while.  
  
Zim stood straight and said in his militarian way, "And I myself shall hack into the bomb's computering system and--" he then realized that Gaz was already zooming off, towards the site of Scoodge. How SHE already knew where he was, no one knew.  
  
"Eh." Zim pulled a sandwich from his pocket and chomped into it, and headed for the house's main computer.  
It'd been much simpler than he'd thought to get the two to work with him. ...Or, rather, work FOR him. Here, Zim was all safe and stuff, well... as long as the two gals accomplished their missions.  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
pureVENOM: Whoo! And now, stuff!  
How's the Dib-Human doing down there?? I wonder what's up? Hehe, or down, anyhoo.  
How's the fight between Tak and Scoodge going? Are they still fighting, or has one of them won already??  
What's Dea up to, that spooky little Halloweenie??  
IS Zim really safe??  
Will Tak really get Scoodge's blood to spurt out of his veins??  
Find out, in the next chapter of . . . The Idiot Trio Wars.  
  
Okay, the blood spurting out of veins thing is from one of my friends. He's ultra-smart, and funny.  
  
Da Lesson O' This Chapter--  
Life in the world of IZ is a game, so have FUN! Just ... don't lose!!  
  
o.O;; 


End file.

Invader Zim, Humor