Harry Potter 1. holy crap

**ALCHOHOL**

No i do not own HP JK does duh

Dumbledor rose up and clapped his hands for the great hall to be silent. The students shut up at once. The headmaster spoke in his non chalant voice, his eyes gleaming and rumbled,

"Hello students of HogWarts witchcraft and wisardry,I have wonderful news to tell you. This year we will be hosting an all muggle dance. This means there will be muggle attire, no dresses but normal everyday muggle clothing. There will be muggle music, and muggle food."

Dumbledor stopped for a moment to let his words sink into the heads of the many chattering students. After a minute or so he raised his hands and spoke once more,

"Now, the dance is for sith through seventh years only. Tomorow all the sixth through seventh years will be split into groups to travel to America. We will stay for one week, where you will get a bountiful amount of money, to shop and have fun. Well...ahh yes...each group will be led by an experienced muggle born. There are ten. You must listen to them for they know more than even i do of the muggle world. You will also be ride planes and your wands will be left here since all the death eaters were made to forget that they were death eaters since Voldemort was killed. I wish you to have fun and go to your dorms to see you will be your leader. Ahh...and if you do notgo where you are supposed to, to meet your group then you will have a face full of zits."

Dumbledor then sat leaving the students to talk amongst themselves.

Ron was wide eyed at the idea of going to America for a whole week.

"'Mione, are you one of the leaders, cause bloody hell we could do whatever we want." Ron laughed.

Hermione rolled her eyes at Ron but could not help but smile, "Yes, Ron i am one of the leaders, and yes i have been to America, in fact many times, did you know..."

Ron just tuned Hermione out as he looked at a new girl named Leslie sitting at the Ravenclaw table winked at him. Hermione saw this and took a drumstick smaking ron in the head.

"RON I WAS TALKING TO YOU!"

Ron jumped up so high that he landed in his mashed poatatoes. Hermione sighed and rubbed her temples...she was getting annoyed. She gave a look to Ginny and got up from the table walking out of the hall. As she walked Ginny came running up and smiled.

"Yeah, waz up?"

Hermione just sighed and Ginny got the idea, it was to be quiet until Hermione was ready to talk. They went through the halls until they came to the gryfindor common room and said the password to the fat lady. It was chickenbone. Hermione sat on the red couch in front of the ever burning fire she threw off her robes for under them she was wearing a pair of jeans and a tea shirt. Ginny finally could not stand it and said, "Hermione, whats wrong?"

Hermione looked up at Ginny but smiled and started laughing, she laughed so hard she fell on the floor. Ginny moved away a little and muttered, "ooooooooook 'Mione...ummmmmmm do you need some help...cause i can get someone...hehehe...he" Ginny sped out of the common room and Hermione laughed.

She looked at the list on the wall and saw this:

* * *

Hello if you are reading this list than good for you...cause you found it well here are the groups

-Dumbledor

1. Hermione Granger

-Harry Potter

-Ronald Weasly

-Ginny Weasly

-Blaise Zambini

-Leslie nylund

-Draco Malfoy

I made these decisions with the best intentions for you Miss Granger so do not go SCARY on me.

Hermione could not speak...sharing a hotel room with Draco Malfoy...and Blaise Zambini...Hermione just dropped to the floor fainting at the thought.

Plz reveiw this or i will send my evil spanish teacher on you and then i will write more this is just the prologe it is gonna get funny and go with the title k.


	2. Well that's what happens

**ALCHOHOL**

* * *

Hermione awoke, she was laying on the floor and her head was pounding. "Uhhhhhhhhhhh..." She moaned as she rubbed her head. She stood up looking around the room when she saw Draco Malfoy laying on the couch staring at her. His head was propped up by his elbow.

He smirked and sat up and laughed, "Well, well Granger you're up, could have sworn you were up when we fucked last night." His mirk grew wider and wider until it looked like it would fall off of his face.

Hermione's eyes went wide as saucer plates, "Wa...wa..what..." She could barely speak and started to shake. 'What would Ginny think...What would Ron think...Oh god she' thought, 'what would Harry think.' She layed her head back on the floor wanting to die and maybe she would have if not for Malfoy.

"Relax Granger, we didn't do it last night. Sides ifI was gonna take advantage of someone it would not be a filthy mudblood like you." He laughed and fell onto the floor he was clutching his stomach to keep from puking he was laughing so hard.

Hermione was furious, she got up coming over to him and smiled her most seductive smile. Malfoy stopped laughing immeadiatly, 'what does she think she's doing.' Before he could get up Hermione had straddled him and was holding his arms down smiling at him. He tried to struggle but Hermione took her hand off his arm and held his neck choking him. "Granger, you're choking me...buccccc" She pushed down smiling and unziped his pants. Malfoy was wearing black silk boxers. She looked at them smirking.

"So Malfoy you really want me to play hardball with you..." Hermione said in a velvety smooth voice, "Well ok I will.

She held him in her hand rubbing him as he bucked up and down moaning like crazy. He grew very hard at once and he became close to his breaking point when Hermione pulled back her arm and nailed him. She laughed at him and got up leaving him to wail in pain.

"Well now Malfoy what have we learned today." Hermione said in a squeky annoying voice.

Malfoy looked up at her and said in a contorted face, "I am gonna get you for this mud blooooooo..."

Hermione had stepped on him. "Now now Malfoy, do you enjoy having a fuck stick cause i can break it in half."

Malfoy'd eyes widened and he squeked, "noooooo...I learned not to lie about haveing sex with people when they can do nothing about it..."

Hermione smiled and squished down on him making his groan. "Ok then well why don't you go and get your stuff ready then now hmm, so we can be early to get on the cariges?" She got off him as he shook his head yes.

Hermione sat in her room getting her things ready for the the trip when she heard Draco coming up the stairs. She grasped her wand, for she knew that he would be quite angry.

Draco walked in his face red with pain and anger. He ran to Hermione and pushed her on her bed, his eyes had anger in them that made Hermione quiver in fear.

"MudBlood you went too far that time...and now you're gonna pay..." He held Hermione down with his hands and kissed her savagely. Hermione smiled and moaned, she had never been touched like this before. Draco was starting to like this almost as much as Hermione. Malfoy licked the crook in her neck until he reached her mouth and they kissed passionatly. Their tounges fought each other intertwining.

Hermione then pulled out and whispered, "Malfoy...stop.." Hermione pushed him off and ran downstairs with her trunk. Thankfully the grandfather clock rang for Hermione to go. She ran down the hallways and stopped in front of Dumbledore

"Ahh miss Granger so kind of you to join us."

* * *

Sorry the chappie is soshort and kinda mushy but it will be really funny soon and i have had a girl do that(punching me there)to me it hurts...

Well i will be writng more soon

-Malfoy the white wolf


	3. i had things i had to do

Alcohol (yay! i finally spelled it right.)

Hermione blushed for she was not one to be late and spoke in a cracked voice. "I am very sorry headmaster...i...i...had some things to do..." She waited for Dumbledore's reply while her mind reeled for the things he might say. She shook her head of these thoughts and laughed to herself, 'who was she kidding this was Dumbledore, the most kind wizard in all of Hogwarts.

Dumbldore laughed and looked down at her. "Oh Miss Granger it is fine. Do not fret i did not mean to feel so...evil. Now then lets get to our posts. Hermione you will go to the astronomy tower to wait for your group;" he then handed hermione some floo powder, "Then go to the Slytherin common room and step into the fire place and say London airport. There will be a small group of buiness men waiting. They know about us although they are muggles and will escort ou to our special flight. All the students will be on but we must do this as to not attract attention to ourselves. Do you have all of that in your head?"

Hermione nodded her head and took of her suitcase behind her. She made her way to the tower with thoughts in her head, she began to hear a voice in it and it was arguing with her.

I know you liked it when you were fondling Malfoy i am not that stupid.

No I did not he just got what was coming to him for lying to me.

You know the only reason you were mad about that joke was because you thought that Harry and Ron would kill you.

No...that is not the reason...or is it...

Told ya.

No..you are messing with me now shut up we are almost to the tower.

The voice stopped and was laughing at her but it stopped. She walked in and took a seat looking out the window at the grounds. It was beautiful in the early morning. Hagrid was taking care of some new creatures. They were a form of wolf, but could turn into mist and must be kept in a cage made of net to keep them. They were quite smart creatures and often talked to the students. Hermione's personal favorite was the omega wolf named Silver eyes. She was a she wolf and Hermione considered her her best friend. As she looked out the window she felt a hand on her shoulder and spun around catching the green eyes of harry and the red hair of Ginny and Ron.

"Eh? Hermione watcha doing?" Harry looked at her his brow furrowed. He could tell she was not her usual self.

Ron laughed and clapped Hermione on the back, 'This is going to be a great trip eh? Well aside from ferret boy and his little rat coming with. I also heard that Leslie Nylund is coming."

Hermione rolled her eyes, "No she will not be with us Ron she erm...has to stay here." Hermione hoped that they would leave before that insulint fool reached them.

Ginny was practically bouncing off the walls and could not speak for she was too excited.

Just then Draco and Blaise stepped into the tower, Draco had a smirk on his face when he looked at Hermione and she feared that he had told Blaise the ordeal that they had had this morning. He walked up his blonde hair was falling over his face today it looked like a mushroom...pity. He strode up and sat down looking out the window and gave a howl to the leader of the pack, Sanlor. The big black wolf howled back attacking SilverFang making draco smile.

"Well, well, well, look who our parteners are Blaise, oh lets see, a muggle/mudblood, two weasels, and a pothead. Quite nice indeed. Hey Potter you knwo where i can get some of the stuff."

This had Blaise laughing and rolling on the floor. Malfoy stepped on Blaise's face to make him stop for it was quite annoying really.

"Well everyone it is time to go; I guess I will floo first. Now when you floo make sure that you say London Airport really clearly or you might end up somewhere else. Well i will go first, Harry you are in charge of who comes next although i would like it to be Malfoy and blaise so i may keep an eye on them."

Harry nodded as Hermione stepped in and shouted London Airport she was ebgulfed by green flames and was gone. Next went Malfoy, then Blaise, then Ron, Ginny, and finally Harry.

I will update as soon as i get five reveiws and it is getting good...you wait

-Malfoy the white wolf


	4. ALCOHOLLLLLLLthe song that made the fic

h t t p / w w w .h i t - c o u n t r y - m u s i c - l y r i c s. c o m / B r a d -P a i s l e y - A lc o h o l -L y ric s.h tml

go to that site to listen to the song i put spaces in it to let me put it up so yeah

this is the song i base the story on

I can make anybody pretty.  
I can make you believe any lie.  
I can make you pick a fight with somebody twice your size.  
Well, I?ve been known to cause a few break-ups,  
An' I?ve been known to cause a few births.  
Well, I can make you new friends, or get you fired from work.

And since the day I left Milwaukee,  
Lynchburg an' Bordeaux, France,  
Been making the bars lots of big money,  
An' helpin' white people dance.  
I got you in trouble in High School,   
But College, now that was a ball.  
You had some of the best times you?ll never remember with me:  
Alcohol; Alcohol.

I got blamed at your wedding reception,  
For your best man?s embarrassing speech.  
And also for those naked pictures of you at the beach.  
I?ve influenced Kings and world leaders,  
I helped Hemingway write like he did.  
And I?ll bet you a drink or two, that I can make you put that lampshade on your head.

?Cause since the day I left Milwaukee,  
Lynchburg and Bordeaux, France,  
I been making a fool out of folks just like you,  
An' helping white people dance.  
I am medicine and I am poison,  
I can help you up or make you fall.  
You had some of the best times you?ll never remember with me:  
Alcohol.

Yeah, since the day I left Milwaukee,  
Lynchburg an' Bordeaux, France,  
Been making the bars lots of big money,  
(Helpin' white people dance.)  
Yeah, I got you in trouble in High School,  
But College, now that was a ball.  
You had some of the best times you?ll never remember with me:  
Alcohol; Alcohol.

(Alcohol.)  
(Alcohol.)  
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na, na.  
Na, na, na, na, na, na, na.


End file.

Harry Potter, Humor, Romance