The Many Emotions of Kensi Blye

**Title: **The Many Emotions of Kensi Blye

**Summary: **An explanation of the end scene of Windfall and the missing weeks between when Kensi got home and when she returned to work. At the end of the episode I wasn't quite sure if Deeks meant they hadn't had a chance to talk much since she was back at work, or back in general. My hunch is that he meant back in general. While I understand that for the drama of the show and to stay true to Kensi's independent nature that it would be plausible that they hadn't talked much, I still had a hard time believing that Deeks would have left her alone that first night back with the extent of her physical and emotional injuries or that he wouldn't have been checking in on her. So here is my version of what happened between Spoils of War and Windfall. In my mind they have seen each other and talked, but haven't gotten into the deep conversations about what happened to Kensi or what is going on with them. The actual words the characters said in the final scene in Windfall are in italics.

**Rating: **K+

**Disclaimer: **I do not own NCIS LA or any of the characters.

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**The Many Emotions of Kensi Bye**

"_And there she is," _he says with a loving smile.

"_Here I am," _she replies sweetly, yet with confidence behind it_. "It's good to be back."_

"_It's good to have you back."_

Deeks finally believes that she is truly here and is truly on her way back. He's seen many emotions from her since he first saw her walk past him at gunpoint in Afghanistan.

The first 24 hours they were reunited, Deeks had been troubled. He was troubled because the emotions Kensi was primarily displaying he had only experienced from her in small doses before. She was mostly passive and completely trusted him to take care of her. She let him guide her into a seat next to him on the plane and slept on him most of the way home. He had witnessed her go through overwhelming panic and fear when they finally reached her apartment and she realized she didn't know how to process everything now that she was home. She let him guide her sobbing, shaking body to the couch. When she fell asleep in his arms there, she didn't protest when he carried her to her bedroom. She half-heartedly tried to help him when he slid his jacket off her arms, removed her pants, and slid her under the covers. She didn't make a sound when he lied down next to her on top of the covers. She curled up pressing her back against his side, letting him know it was okay that he was there.

The next morning he had seen pain and misery in her tear-filled eyes when she gingerly rolled over and whispered to him through trembling lips, "It wasn't a bad dream." Her tears weren't quite as torrential this time. He gently gathered her to his chest and softly apologized, "I'm sorry Kens." What had bothered him most about those first hours home is that he couldn't get her to eat much and she seemed content to sleep to keep away the bad memories. Deeks didn't blame her, he just worried about her. When she was awake there was a far-away, hallow look in her eyes that scared him. He took a little comfort in the fact that even though she didn't want to talk about any of it, she let him stay. She did talk to him about practical things like checking her wounds and getting up to take a shower. She was more sore than the day before, but also had been on a plane for 17 hours and knew she needed to get up and move.

When she was bored with being in bed, but feeling too miserable physically and mentally to be anywhere else, she requested that Deeks bring Monty over. Deeks would have done anything she asked and he also figured Monty sometimes provided a nice distraction. Monty worked his magic. As he tried to give Kensi doggie kisses and Deeks tried to keep him from climbing in her lap and hurting her in his enthusiasm at seeing her, Deeks noticed Kensi have a moment of playful innocence where her eyes filled with life as she kissed Monty's fur and ruffled it with her hands. She slept again in the afternoon with one arm over Monty's back. Deeks napped on the couch.

That night he began seeing more glimpses of his Kensi. There was resolve and strength when she told him she could stay by herself. The next morning there was annoyance when he showed up at her door, but then a pleased smile when he told her they were going for doughnuts. He noticed that she was feeling embarrassed or ashamed as she brought a hand to the cut on her forehead when they entered the parking lot of her favorite bakery. He understood right away that he thought she looked beautiful, but she wasn't feeling that way. He also thought she looked stronger, but he guessed she wasn't feeling stronger yet. He ran in to get the coffee and doughnuts, then drove them to the beach to eat in the car with the windows down.

"It's wasn't your fault Kens," he assured her trying to get her to open up a little bit about Afghanistan. He'd observed that she was blaming herself for everything that happened.

All he got in return was an, "I know," that sounded as if she didn't believe the words she was saying.

He didn't push her into talking and instead got a genuine smile when he teased her about inhaling her first doughnut. Then she took down a second one putting his mind a little more at ease seeing that her appetite was back.

She was content and relaxed when Deeks took her to her mom's after doughnuts and she was in her mom's embrace for the first time in months. She was so content she stayed with her mom for a few days to rest and recuperate, while Deeks went back to work. There was more room at her mom's for Kensi to move around, and the backyard provided a more private place than her apartment courtyard for her to spend time outside.

When Kensi had returned to her apartment, the whole gang had dropped in for pizza and poker. Deeks knew she had to fake it through some of the night. He had gotten a genuine laugh out of her when he showed everyone the picture of Eric in jail. He'd been saving that for just the right moment to share with everyone. Also, when she took over 100 dollars in winnings from the poker game, there had been some gloating from a triumphant Kensi.

Two nights ago he had invited her over for dinner to celebrate the doctor releasing her to physically come back to work. When they ran out of light topics of conversation, Deeks flung a wet noodle at her and suggested, "Why don't you do something helpful and make a salad?" She got up and pulled out things for a salad. Deeks saw her fun side come out when she retaliated for the noodle by launching a tomato at him. A few more exchanges took place before she abandoned the food fight to dance along to a song on the radio. He noticed that at first she was kind of forcing it, but then let loose and just bounced around the kitchen to the music. She bumped her hip to Deeks's as he tasted the pasta sauce he was concocting. He bumped her back, then gave her a taste.

Agitation and disappointment had radiated off of her when Hetty told her she couldn't go back in the field.

Contentment and happiness were what he noticed a moment ago when she told him they would be partners in the field again. It wasn't until he had made the comment about Nell falling in love with him, a comment that threatened their "thing," that he first saw the fire and passion that are so much a part of Kensi Blye. Now he is sure his girl is making her way back. He is also sure that she still has feelings for him, and he definitely still has feelings for her.

Taking a chance on those feelings he wraps an arm around her shoulders as he proclaims, _"It's good to have you back." _To anyone else it looks like a gesture to welcome his partner back.

"By the way," he whispers in her ear as he guides her toward the group, "What I said this morning about you looking good, I meant it…you know…the first way…before I backpedaled."

She looks up at him and gives him a shy smile as her heart beat quickens a bit in response to his touch and his honest sentiment. What he doesn't know is the 405 took her the usual amount of time this morning. She was late because she was fixing her hair to cover the scab from the wound on her head and trying to make her hair and makeup perfect for him.

"Let's get the lady a glass of wine," Deeks declares taking the one Callen offers and handing it to Kensi before accepting one of his own.

As Deeks and Kensi clink their glasses together in a silent toast to being partners again, their eyes meet over their glasses and there is a shared understanding that they have a very important conversation ahead of them.


End file.
