Victorious 1. Chapter 1

**I don't own Victorious or any of its characters in this chapter or any to come.**

….. ….. ….. … ….. …. … …

Do you remember when you were younger and a simple horror story would be enough to scare you?

For some it was something fun to do at a sleep over or a thrill to be scared for a while. For others it was a nightmare or something that had us checking the closets and under the bed for weeks. Regardless of how you took it, it made an impact.

Just like it was supposed to.

Of course when we're young it's just all fun and games, we didn't really what it all meant. These horror stories and monster hiding around our room weren't simply a pastime, they were preparing us. They were slowly chipping away at our imagination to make room for what the future held. It taught us to be afraid, to fear the things we hear about. The harsh reality was that it was to prepare us for what was to come.

The real horror.

To be honest I'm not really sure what it is, I've never experienced it. Some people never have to. No one ever _wants _to but most people still get infected with it at least once in their lifetime anyway. The ones who survive to tell about it don't actually remember much, if anything at all. That's part of why it's so strange to me. It sparks my curiosity. We're so afraid of it but no one can actually tell us why.

I know that's it's painful.

I haven't seen it firsthand but I've heard it echo through the halls once. Someone screaming at the top of their lungs like someone was ripping out their soul. It still haunts me to this day and it was years ago. I know I said that I was curious but I still don't ever want to experience it. God only knows if I'd even survive it.

They say this is when it's at its peak. When you're a young adult is when you're most susceptible to it. Sometimes it's like walking on eggshells, the paranoia of thinking you're getting it and praying your quarantine is quick and painless. Other times you don't have the slightest clue that you could have it and then like a lightning bolt, it hits you when you're least expecting it.

After you're infected, you're quarantined immediately after the screaming episode is over. They say it's dangerous to try and take them when they're in so much pain. It could lead to serious injuries for both parties or the infected might not even survive it. So basically people just stand around and watch you lose your sanity and convulse, and when you're done, they take you away.

Three weeks. They take you for three weeks to some facility to closely monitor your brain activity and other vitals. Some people return to their original state and as the infection goes, so does the memories of what happened. Others aren't so lucky…

The get stuck. They harbor the infection and after they're quarantine is up, they come back. It doesn't seem like much of a difference, but it is. It's like they're not from this world anymore. They act strangely and lose the ability to communicate. They speak only a language that the other infected can understand.

It's not all hopeless. The infection can still leave them and they can return to normal, but the more time that passes once infected, the harder it is to get rid of it.

This is of course if you even survive getting infected.

It's not contagious, thank god, but it's still painful to hear about. I've lost two or three friends to it. I was told they went off to be quarantined and then… they never came back. We'll, they came back but they didn't _come_ back. I had never seen anything like it.

One friend of mine… they didn't survive the moment of infection. That was the hardest to hear about.

Currently I only know one or two people who have ever been infected and come back to us free of it. One of them has even been infected _twice_. It's not uncommon to have it more than once, but it's still a bit of a rarity, especially at our age.

Apparently it gets easier as we mature. Adults above the age of twenty-five or so are not infected nearly as much, but if they are infected, the odds are they will live with it forever.

"Are you okay?" I hear breaking me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah" I sigh, turning to the small voice. "Just reading over the hazard poster again"

"Oh. Your eyes kind of glazed over so I figured you were daydreaming." She says.

I guess that's kind of what I was doing. These "Safety Posters" have been on every wall, in every mailbox, and are even on the mirrors in the bathrooms. I know them by heart by now. It starts in middle school, mandatory classes and tests to make sure its drilled into our brains by the time we hit high school. High school isn't much different, only more relaxed about it. We all know that 30% of us are going to be infected so it's just a matter of reporting someone you think is showing signs. 'Please report strange behavior immediately' is practically painted up and down every hall.

"Are you… are you thinking about your parents?" She asks quietly.

"A little yeah. I just… they're really gone ya know?" I say.

Yeah… I lost my parents to the infection four months ago.

One day everything was fine, normal. Then when Trina and I got home from school there were dozens of healthcare and hazardcare workers in our driveway. They told us that a neighbor had heard our parents screaming and immediately called it in. I didn't want to believe it but, I saw Trina and she looked so… heartbroken. That's kind of what made it real, when I realized just how much this affected people.

Three weeks later our parents were released but, we haven't talked to them since. They take care of us, they're here for us, we wake up and come home to them, but they're not really here. The best we can do is simply look at each other in sadness and wonder why this had to happen. I think a part of them knows what's happened to them, but I don't think they'll ever truly come back. Now it's just me Trina. We depend on each other more than ever and no matter what, we have each other's backs.

"I know. Sometimes I when I get home I still think my mom is gonna be ready and waiting for me to share my day with her and then help make dinner." She says before pulling me into a hug. "But you don't have to worry, you still have us".

She lost her mom too. She still has her dad, but her mother and brother are infected. They have been for years.

"Thanks Cat" I say hugging her tighter.

I don't know what I'd do without the people I have. They've been my rock since all this happened. Cat has definitely been there for the most though, well, her and Trina. I know we're gonna get through this, all of us.

And dang Cat gives the best hugs.

"You smell so good" I purr.

"What?" She says pulling back to look at me.

"Uh…" I start.

"I've never met someone more capable of ruining a moment than you Vega." I hear from behind me.

"How else do you think I get all the ladies?" I ask turning to face her. "I-men, men! I meant men." I quickly correct myself.

"Right. Regardless the gender, I pity them. Anyway, Andre wants us to help him with something in Sikowits room, so he told me to come get you two." Jade says with a bored expression.

"Wait, someone asked you to do something, and you _complied_?" I feign shock.

"Mostly because I knew you would embarrass yourself while trying to cop a feel with Cat. Pleased to say I was not disappointed" She smirks.

As my jaw now resides on the floor, I slowly turn to defend myself to Cat, but to my relief, she is rather intensely smelling her shirt. Thank God.

I turn back to scold Jade but I notice that something else has her attention. She looks almost defeated. I follow her line of sight and…

Oh.

Beck casually walks by, his eyes on us for a moment or two before continuing on to his next class.

We lost Beck about nine months ago. He the second one in our group to be infected and stay that way. All I know is that Jade's the one who had to call it in. She was with him when it happened and hasn't been the same since. I mean, she still absolutely horrible to me, but it has a different edge to it. It's more habitual than anything with intent behind it.

"He could still come back you know…" I trail off.

"Honestly, I don't think he is." She says before walking off to Sikowits'.

I'm sure she'll be ok, I mean, she's Jade West right? But that doesn't stop me from wanting to comfort her. Granted she would probably stab me in the throat for trying, but blood makes her happy, so maybe it would be worth it.

"Do you think-" I'm cut off by Cat's head being buried into the crook of my neck, followed by a deep inhale.

"Ohhhh, now I get it. You smell good too Tori!" She beams.

"Thank you" I choke out.

"Why is your face all red?" She asks confused.

"You… probably don't wanna know. Come on, Andre needs us" I say laying my arm around her shoulders in a… "friendly" manner. Yeah let's go with that.

Although we're in a world where we're in a constant fear and many of our loved ones have fallen to it, Cat's right, we still have each other. We still have what's left to hold on to. And if it's anyone I'm not letting go of…

It's gonna be Cat every time.

…**. ….. … ….. ….. ….. ….. …. …...**

**Hello my Lotus Blossoms**

**So, I wrote this. You like it?**

**Haha, it's a tad different from anything I've ever written before, but I like it. I want to be able to branch out outside of my usual genres. Being a writer partially about originality and versatility. I wanna be able to grow in those areas. **

**Funny story, the line I had up there when Tori and Cat are hugging, "You smell so good," may have actually happened... in my life. Yeah I went on a date last Wednesday and dropped that line whilst hugging him goodbye. I have no idea why he still likes me…**

**Anyway, let me know what you think of this. Don't worry, the heaviness is not going to be anything like my last fic, this one will definitely be more lighthearted with more humor. **

**ALSO: I'm turning "Make This Go On Forever" into a book. And ladies and gentlemen, I need your help. PM me or leave it in your review if you wanna help me out and I will be eternally grateful. I'm ready to take my writing seriously and make a career out of it. I know I can do it.**

**Last but not least: Thank you to all who reviewed my last fic as I polished it off. And thank you so much for the prayers and PM's. I am doing SOOOOO much better. **

**P.S. Bug the crap out of me if I struggle to update every week. I refuse to fall back into pit of despair and little writing. I love you guys and I wanna show it.**

**Remember, Reviews = Love, so spread it around. Thick.**

**A.Y.P.**


	2. Just Read The Signs

Two.

Two days infection free.

Before that it was 75 days. Sadly, HA holds the record for most days without an infection. Don't get me wrong, 75 days is pretty decent, but most schools in California bottom out at 42. That makes us a desirable school, so people then transfer, but do to the fact that their less educated I guess, people get infected and our streak ends.

We just had four new students transfer last week, so I guess we know what happened.

"You ok?" I hear from behind me.

"Yeah, it's just hard to think that this happened a few classrooms over." I say staring at the big "2" on the white board in the hall.

"Well, that's why they're all sound proof. We don't know if it happens until they change the number and I'm kind of ok with that." Cat says coming to stand next to me.

"I know, I am too. It's just sad to think about." I sigh.

"Sometimes I pray for them before I go to bed." She says quietly. I look over at her kind of surprised. "I pray that they're ok, I pray for their families, and I pray that they'll come back." She finishes.

"I.. didn't know you were so religious…" I trail off.

"I'm not. Praying is praying. I never did it till I lost my mom and to be honest, I think it's kept everyone I care about safe. So why not? It kept you safe." She says.

So I may or may not be blushing so hard right now.

"Well thanks… I like you too" I say.

"You… what?" She asks furring her brows.

"I meant I care about you too! I like that you care and I like you to like me and… how far do you think I have to backpedal to get out of this?" I ask.

"You should just get off the bike." I hear Jade say as she stands by Cat.

"Yeah…" I nod.

"Do you know who it was?" Jades asks.

"One of the new kids. Apparently he had been showing signs and his parents thought if they transferred him here, they would stop." I answer.

"Dumbasses," Jade mutters. "They put their uneducated kid in this school and expect them to just be fixed. They make us look bad because their kid half assed their hazard classes."

"It's not like endangering us Jade…" I try to defend.

"Bullshit." She spits glaring at the whiteboard. "Think about all those students who had to see the change. Some of them were freshmen, they weren't nearly prepared to see that. Every time we get a new transfer, we all know it's like a time bomb, it's a nightmare just waiting to happen. We always ending paying for someone else's mistakes." She says as she walks off.

Well said I guess.

"She said bad words" Cat squeaks.

"Within reason. She's actually seen someone at the moment of infection. She saw the nightmare and had to live through it." I say.

I'm not sure I would ever be able to handle it. No matter how much I learn about taking precautions or about what to expect, I'll never be ready to see it happen.

"I pray for her too." Cat says quietly.

"Good." I sigh. "I think out of everyone, Jade needs it the most."

…. …. ….. …. …. ….. …. ….. …

"What do you think their thinking about?"

"I don't know, maybe the same thing we are?"

"They're wondering what we're thinking?"

"It would make sense right? We're just as foreign to them as they are to us." I tell Andre.

We're currently in the Asphalt Café watching a few infected jocks kick a soccer ball around. Andre and I stopped to watch before heading to our table.

"I guess you're right. It's just weird to think about." Andre says as we turn to walk towards our table.

"It is." I agree.

As we get closer to our table I suddenly hear a bunch of shouting from the infected. I turn to see what they're shouting about before-

"UGH" is forced out of my body as their soccer ball beams me in the head. God knows where my history book went or my lunch, but the only thing for certain, asphalt is hard.

"Tori, are you ok?" I hear Andre shout.

I roll onto my back and stare at the sky as my vision clears. Honestly, how to people deliberately hit a soccer ball with their heads? That hurt so bad…

I see one of the infected jock's heads pop up above me and he looks down at me with a worried look. He tries to say something but it's all gibberish to me. An apology maybe? In the middle of his sentence however, Andre pulls him away from me to yell at him. They're literally yelling at each other in two different languages. There is nothing more pointless.

"Oh my god… are you ok?" I hear as Cat then comes into focus above me.

"Yeah… just a slight headache" I say cracking a smile.

"Maybe you should just stay here and I'll go get the nurse and-"

"Cat" I say cutting her off. "I'm fine, I promise, help me up?"

"Yeah, of course." She says taking my hand and helping me up.

A few other people ask if I'm ok while Andre is still yelling at the infected jock. Jade is at the table laughing, well at least I did something to cheer her up. I haven't seen her laugh, or even smile, in a while.

"Andre will you relax?" I say as he ignores me. Does he have any idea how stupid he looks?

I'm about to go grab Andre when another infected soccer player walks over to me. We kind of just look at each other for a moment. He picks up the soccer ball and stares at it with a pondering look on his face. After a moment he looks back up at me and holds out the soccer ball. By now quite a few people are watching closely. It's rare when an infected tries to legitimately communicate with us.

"What does he want?" Cat asks timidly from behind me.

"I don't know." I answer.

Going with my gut, I slowly reach out and take the soccer ball from his hands. I take note that Andre and the other jock have stopped yelling at each other and are watching curiously. The infected soccer player in front of me suddenly breaks out in a huge smile. I give a nervous smile back and I guess it makes him happier because he then shouts something to his friends and then takes one of my hands.

"Ohhh this is weird…" I say holding onto the soccer ball with the other arm.

He quickly pulls me along with him over to the infected's food truck and speaks to the guy inside. He turns back towards me with his smile still set in place and almost bounces with excitement. All the infected actually look pretty amazed now that I look around.

The guy inside the food truck quickly hands the soccer player a burger and looks just as confused as I do about it. The soccer player then lets go of my hand and holds out the burger. Oh… they did cause me to catapult my lunch somewhere earlier…

"Thanks." I say as I take the burger from him, although I know he doesn't understand me. His eyes furrow at the word I said but quickly shrugs it off. I hold his soccer ball out for him to take back, but he pushes it back towards me. He then smiles brightly again before running back off to his friends. Literally, everyone, is staring at me.

I get it. This doesn't happen. Infected and non-infected rarely if ever interact with each other. It's not a rule or anything, we just naturally stick to our own. That's why our school has different classrooms for us. Half the rooms in the school are for the infected and the other half are for the non infected. We all have to learn somehow and it usually helps when you can understand the teachers. That's actually kind of how everything works. There's always two staffs for every establishment, infected and non, so that way everyone has the fair advantage.

I slowly make my way back to our table and try to ignore everyone's eyes.

"What was that?" Cat asks as I sit down.

"A… peace offering?" I say setting the soccer ball down next to me.

"Not that… I mean the whole thing. Did you… did you understand him?" She asks.

I turn to her and notice the terrified look on her face, actually, I notice everyone has this look on their face.

"Guys no, I'm not infected, I swear. I didn't understand him, but I kind of got the gist of what he was trying to do. He was apologizing for the ball to the head, then he bought me lunch to make up for it." I explain.

"Are you sure?" Jade asks skeptically.

"I'm sure. I was just reading the signs." I say.

Everyone visible relaxes at my words and Cat hugs me.

"Thank God… I thought we were losing you too." She says into my ear.

"It's gonna be a lot harder than that to get rid of me." I joke.

"It better be." Andre chips in.

"I don't know, all I would need is a shovel and-"

"Jade stop" I glare at her.

After that we kind of eat in peace.

People would not stop looking at me. I can already tell this is gonna stir up a lot of trouble. I'm gonna have half the school breathing down my neck for weeks thinking I'm infected. I'm not infected. I promise I'm not, it's just like trying to communicate with anyone that doesn't speak your language, you read the signs.

I am **not** infected.

….. … … ….. ….. … ….. ….. …

"Tori!" I hear scaring me. I almost dropped my books, speaking of, I never did find my history book…

"Yeah?" I say turning my head to see Trina panicked. "Whoa, what's wrong? Are you ok?"

"Am I ok? Are you? I heard about what happened at lunch." She says seriously concerned. I don't ever think I've seen here this worried before, not even when we found out about our parents.

"Yeah, I'm fine, it's just a misunderstanding." I say putting my things and closing my locker. I am so glad school is over today, people keep asking if I'm ok just like this.

"Are you sure?" She asks scanning my eyes.

"Yes Trina, I promise, I'm fine." I reason.

"Tori… if you're not fine, you can tell me. I promise I won't be mad, just tell me if you're feeling off at all." She says in… a loving tone?

Dear God she is so different. She looks so scared for me yet, scared she might lose me too.

"Trina, nothing is happening. I feel fine, it was just a misunderstanding. He just wanted to apologize." I say.

"And how do you know that?" She asks.

"Well when someone nails you in the head with a soccer ball then shoves a hamburger into your face, you kind of get the hint." I say with a smile.

"I… guess that does make sense. Ok, as long as you're sure you're feeling ok." She says resting a hand on my shoulder.

"I-"

"She's not infected." Jade cuts me off as she walks by. "Trust me." Trina and I look from Jade back to each other.

"She has a point, Jade would probably be able to tell before you even would." Trina states. "But that doesn't mean I want you to end up like her. I don't wanna lose you too Tori." She finishes.

"I know and you won't." I say with a small smile.

Hopefully that'll pacify her.

Trina's right though, I don't wanna end up like Jade. She's just been through too much so soon.

Remember when I said I knew someone who had been infected and come back twice?

That was Jade.

… … …**.. ….. ….. ….. … …. … …**

**Hello my Lotus Blossoms**

**I did it! I updated within a week. I've been so gloriously busy but I made you all a promise that I would do better. **

**Sooooooo, what do you think of this one? Yay? Nay?**

**I also want to thank all of you who have been helping me out with the book and just life in general the last week. You guys keep me going.**

**Speaking of:**

**SGM: I've missed your face. It's great to be back and I'm glad you like where I'm going with this.**

**Ohsnapitsbex: Yes, it is I. You're dancing pleases me.**

**Lushcoltrane: Oh it's the start of a whole lot of feels. Prepare yourself. **

** : I don't even know what to say, well, besides thank you. Once I get the ball rolling a little more we'll see what happens.**

**Alright so I guess that's it for this chapter. Thanks to all of you who reviewed, favored, followed, etc. I love you all. I also didn't do a final read through, so I apologize for my errors.**

**Remember Reviews = Love, so spread it around. Thick.**

**A.Y.P.**


	3. Do You Remember Anything?

"So how are you feeling?"

" Good. Same as usual."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes… why wouldn't I be?"

"Well, I heard you had an… encounter with one of the infected. You understood one of them I believe."

"Oh God, this again?" I say with an eye roll.

"We just have to be sure. Your friends and sister are worried about you." The HazardCare doctor states.

"And they have no reason to be. I'm completely fine and if I have to retell that misunderstanding story one more time, I might lose it for real." I finish.

"Right well, you don't seem to be showing any symptoms, so I can mark you down as a pass . If anything changes though, even in the slightest, don't hesitate to speak up Miss Vega." He says pointing towards the school infirmary door with his pen.

"Will do." I say as I grab my bag and leave.

As I close the door behind me and turn around, I'm met with Trina right in my face and the rest of our group behind her.

"Jesus… Trina don't do that." I say trying to calm my heart rate.

"What did he say?" She asks quickly.

"He said I have four days to live and am extremely contagious." I say monotone.

Cat looks extremely concerned, Andre just shakes his head, Trina is glaring at me, and I hear a "thank God" from Jade.

"Would you relax, he said I'm fine. No symptoms. Are we done with this now?" I say annoyed.

"As long as you're sure." Trina tries again.

"Oh my God Trina, look-" I'm cut off by the most excruciating hug Cat's ever given me. I literally can't breathe. She's barely five feet and has the muscle mass of a pencil, yet I'm pretty sure she just fractured my diaphragm… and maybe punctured a lung.

"I'm so glad you're ok." Cat says into my ear.

"For real Tori, I know you kept saying you were fine but… it's hard not to worry" Andre chips in.

I still can't breathe.

"At least we're sure now. I won't bother you anymore about it, but if it happens again, you can't get mad at me for being worried." Trina says after a moment. "Alright well, I have to get to class, I'll see you after." She finishes walking off.

Guys… my stomach is touching my spine… help…

"I'm glad you're ok, I'm off too biology too." Andre says with a salute before leaving.

Am I dead? I can't feel anything. Oh my God am I dead?

"Jesus shouldn't you have passed out by now?" Jade adds confused.

"Jade don't say that! Tori is special to me, you shouldn't wish her harm." Cat scolds.

"Cat, I'm not the one squeezing her like an empty toothpaste- you know what, you'll figure it out" Jade says walking away.

No… Jade… help…

"Don't listen to her Tori, she's just being Jade."

And I'm just being dead.

"Tori?" Cat says pulling back from her jaws of life hug.

It literally sounds like I'm the poster child for the most intense vacuum cleaner known to man.

"Oh my god! I'm so sorry… I was just really worried and… and… are you ok?" She asks rubbing my back.

"Perfect." I wheeze from my hunched over position.

"Do you need to go back to the infirmary?" She winces tilting my head up to meet her gaze. "I could go get someone?" She says placing her hand on my cheek.

"No... Just give me a minute." I say trying to catch my breath, but that thing is long gone.

And not just because she almost killed me.

….. ….. ….. …. … … …. …. ….

Monthly checkups.

It's why I was in the school infirmary today. It was mine and about another quarter of the schools monthly checkup today. It's just the usual run of tests to make sure we're healthy and that we're not showing any signs of the infection. Of course they were extremely skeptical over me because of what happened two weeks ago, but I'm fine.

" Hey Tori" Andre says as I sit next to him at our usual lunch table.

"Hey, where's Cat?" I ask noticing her absence.

"At her checkup, she'll be here for the second half of lunch." Jade mumbles staring at her phone. Well at least she acknowledged me. That or she doesn't realize that I'm the one that asked.

"Soooo, I have a surprise for you." Andre says grabbing my attention.

"You're pregnant and it's mine?" I guess.

"Yes and we're naming it Angelicolisa." He finishes,

"Really? That's what you would want to name our beautifully talented baby?" I ask with an eye roll.

"That's what you get for assuming it's yours." He says.

"Wait… what?" I say confused.

"Nothing, here," He says with a laugh, handing me my history book.

"Hey, where did you find it?" I ask taking it from him.

"I didn't, Cat did earlier I guess. She asked me to give it to you." He says refocusing on his lunch.

Ah, my precious angel… I'm talking about my text book.

I hope Cat's checkup is going well. Days like today always make me nervous, if a HazardCare doctor marks someone down as a fail, odds are we won't know about it till well after they've been shipped off to their clinic. I always let out a breath I didn't know I was holding when anyone from our group gets back from their checkup. I even do so for Jade. Regardless of how she feels towards me, I still care about her wellbeing. Especially since she's already been infected twice. To be honest I'm not even sure how she turned out As well as she did.

I wonder how she feels about it...

Like what was going thought her head when she started having symptoms. Was she scared when she realized what was about to happen? I mean, does she even remember that much?

"Is there a reason you're gawking at me?" Jade says not looking up from her phone.

"Yes" I blurt out. Both Andre and Jade's eyes snap to me, both also very confused. "I mean no… I was just thinking about stuff…" I finish with a nervous smile.

Andre just shakes his head and resumes eating, Jade however, looks at me for a bit longer. Oh god she's reading me. I wanna look away but I can't… oh God she's looking into my soul…

"Come with me." Jade says standing up abruptly and walking back into the school. Andre stops mid chew and raises an eyebrow at me.

"If I'm not back in ten minutes, send help." I tell him as I walk after Jade.

I've heard stories about people who have disappeared after being caught staring at Jade… but she can't make me disappear right? People will know if I'm missing. Trina's a black belt… although I'm not sure that's any match for Jade's dark powers. Speaking of, I wonder if she was born with them or just one day realized she could make people tremble as she walked by.

"Did you really just blindly follow me to the darkest and most secluded hallway in the school?" Jade asks grabbing my attention.

Oh my God… I was so distracted by thinking about her dark mystical powers that I just walked myself to my death.

"Relax, this is second place I would kill you if I did." She says waving off my nervousness.

"Good… wait second? Why should that make me feel better? And what's the first?" I ask.

"Because I would only get rid of someone like you at my first place of choice, which is for me to know and for you to find out." She smirks.

"Perfect… so what did you wanna talk about?" I ask shrugging her comment off.

"I don't wanna talk about anything, you're the one who wants to talk." She redirects my question.

"Pretty sure you asked me to come with you."

"Pretty sure you were staring at me with that stupid glassy look first."

"Pretty sure you weren't even paying attention to me, so how would you have seen that?"

"Pretty sure I could've been dead and still noticed it."

"Pretty sure you wouldn't be here if you were dead." I say getting frustrated.

"Pretty sure this is the dumbest argument you've ever started."

"Pretty sure you're pretty!" I spit. Jade's eyebrows almost launch off her forehead. "Wait-no! I panicked!"

I immediately burst into some random unintelligible babble trying to defend myself and she simply laughs and waits for me to stop embarrassing myself.

"Jesus Vega, you are so gay it almost hurts."

"I still like boys." I defend.

"Unless Cat's a boy, no you don't." She says. I huff and pout. Her dark powers also permit her to always be right.

"Back to the point, you were thinking about the infection earlier right?" She says reverting to a somber state.

"Uh… yeah, I was. How'd you know." I ask.

"Because I get that look a lot, especially from new students, wondering how I survived it twice." She says leaning against some lockers.

"How did you?" I ask following her lead and leaning back against the lockers.

"I… I don't know. I just did. West's are hard to kill I guess."

"Do you… can I ask you questions?" I ask hesitantly. Jades sighs, mulling my question over for a moment before answering.

"Normally no, but I guess I should at least let one person ask away. That and I can see how worried you are about Cat and it's annoying, so this should take your mind off of it. Go for it." She says.

"Thank you?" I say. I think that's a way of her saying she cares.

"So… do you remember anything about the infection, like when you started showing symptoms?" I ask.

"Not much… but I do remember being scared. It's like blacking out once every few days for a few minutes. I realized that I didn't remember what happened during a class or that I couldn't remember getting home. At first I thought it was just a fluke, but from there it went to not remembering things every few hours… and then I lost a whole day." She says.

"Wow… who called it in?" I ask.

"My father. Like me, he tried to deny it as long as he could, but when I lost an entire day like that, he had to call it in. Within the hour I was taken to a HazardCare Center where they monitored me till it happened. " She continues.

"Do you remember anything about the moment it happened?" I pry. I shouldn't but… I want to know so much more about it. Heck, I lost my parents to it, I should be allowed to know as much as possible.

"I know that it hurt like hell. When people say it sounds like your soul is being ripped from your body, that's how it feels too. Every part of you is just… on fire. I blacked out in the middle of the scream. After that I only remember coming to in my bedroom a month and a half later." She says running a hand through her hair.

"That's… insane." I comment. I can't imagine what that was like.

"Yeah, the second time was pretty much the same, only I knew for a fact that it was happening again. I didn't care, odds were I wasn't going to come back or survive, so I decided to just enjoy my last few days. I was walking home when the infection hit. Just collapsed, right on the sidewalk. I don't know who called it in but three months later I came back in the middle of class. I had dozed off apparently and then woke up on the floor. It was like a bomb had gone off inside my chest. I was confused and had no idea what had happened. I couldn't understand anyone and eventually someone came in and told me I had seized. I guess that was me coming back." She finishes.

I don't know what to say. I've never heard anything like this. No one ever talks about this, you never really get to know what goes through someone's mind.

"Are you ok?" She asks. I realize I've been staring at the ground and I look over to her.

"Yeah I'm fine… I just never pictured it like that." I say.

"No one does. They suggest we don't talk about it but… I figured you kinda had a right. Most of us are only missing small pieces of our families, but you… I honestly… admire how you handle it." She says.

"Did… did you just complement me?" I ask quietly.

"Yeah, I did. Tell anyone and you'll find out where that "first place" is." She says with a smirk.

"Thanks for telling me, I know it wasn't easy. And… thanks for caring even though you won't admit to it." I say pushing off the lockers.

"Anytime, but not really." She says.

"So… should we hug?" I ask with a grin.

"God no. But if you want one that bad, there's a certain red head walking up behind you looking for one." She says nodding in the direction behind me.

I quickly spin around and almost fall over as Cat comes into view. She has a huge grin on her face as she does one last hop over to me and lands in my arms.

"I'm cleared for duty." She jokes into my ear. I hold on to her tighter and let that breath I always hold out.

"Promise you always will be." I whimper.

I can't imagine Cat ever going through something like that. The moment of infection would kill her… I just know it. She would make it to the scream… then her voice would cut out in the middle and that would be it. I would have to bury another one of my friends over this infection. I would have to bury Cat.

She's rubbing my back and telling me that everything's ok, asking me not to cry.

If they ever had to bury Cat… then they would have to bury me too.

…**. …. …. … …. ….. …. … …. …. …**

**Hello my Lotus Blossoms.**

**I really need a new greeting…**

**Anyway. Look! An update! Sorry I'm a week late, suddenly life started to life more than usual. So if I do go a week without updating that's why. **

**I'm gonna throw something up on my tumblr in the next day or so to kind of explain where I am and rant about life as usual. The link is in my profile if you're interested.**

**Alright, on to a few of you;**

**SuperGravyMan: Here's a little more information about the infection and how Jade ties into it. Of course, there is a lot more to it that I'm excited to reveal soon.**

**Ohsnapitsbex: You fangirl as much as you want. It helps authors breath.**

**Bryzenia97: Well thanks, I'm flattered. But you don't have to kiss the ground, the ground is gross. **

** : I'm glad you enjoyed the infected's communication with Tori. I was driving home how difficult it was for them to understand each other and also how taboo it is in their world. **

**Alright, that's all I'm gonna get to right now, but I truly appreciate all of you who reviewed and read.**

**Welcome to any new readers as well.**

**Alright loves, that's all for this update. Reviews = Love, so spread it around. Thick.**

**A.Y.P.**


	4. Just Like That

"Stupid Jade with her stupid face and her stupid combat boots. Seriously, what princess of darkness even wears combat boots?"

I cram my books into my locker and slam the door.

Jade "accidently" tripped me today in class, prompting me to face plant, and then take a trip to the nurses office because everyone thought I may have died. I didn't hit the ground that hard, but apparently the thud sent shivers up a few spines. So now I have this period off and if I "start to feel dizzy or tired, go to the hospital". The school nurses words exactly. I really thought after the other day Jade and I were turning a new leaf.

I was so wrong.

But at least I have a free period to get some homework done before my last class.

I'm about to turn to go to the library when I feel a hand on my shoulder. A hand that I'm hoping doesn't belong to a ghost because everyone is in class and I swear there was no one in the hall when I came out here.

Feeling the need to get away from this hand and possibly defend myself, I jump forward… and smash my forehead into my locker.

"Son of a b-… biscuit" I grumble bringing my hand to my forehead. Seriously, if anyone ever wanted to beat me up, I would get half the job done by myself.

I turn around to face my attacker because God knows he'll probably do less damage to me that what I've already done and… it's that infected soccer player again. He looks really worried.

I rub a forehead a few more times before he reaches his hand up to stop me. He pulls my hand away from my head and looks like he's concentrating really hard. He brings his other hand up and brushes his fingers over my forehead lightly as I wince. This is weird… I kind of wish he was here to beat me up instead.

He pulls back for a moment before I see one of his buddies poke his head around the corner and say something, in whatever language they speak, to him. He says something back before his buddy also comes over to me and inspects my forehead. They chat back and forth for a second, laughing at something as I simply stand here, confused, and willing for that dizziness and tiredness to show up.

"Tori?"

"Oh thank God" I breathe.

"What are you doing?" I turn to see… Cat ask.

"Uh… nothing really. Just… catching up with people whom I always seem to get a head injury around." I smile. By now the jocks have stopped talking to each other and are looking at the both of us curiously.

"Are you talking to them?" Cat asks as her face falls.

"What? No. I'm not, he just scared me." I say pointing to the first jock. I should name him.

"Are you sure?" She asks quietly. She looks really worried.

"Yeah Cat, I promise. I hit my head and they came to see if I was alright… I think." I say looking back at the first jock I just now decided to name Teddy. Ted for short.

"Ok… well you should probably go seeing as this is the second time you would be caught like this." She finishes, still quiet.

"Yeah, I-" I turn back to Teddy and try to think of a way to say goodbye, which involves a lot of me stuttering and awkward hand motions . "Yeah no." I give up as I walk away with Cat.

When we're out of earshot, not like it would matter, from Teddy I notice Cat looking incredibly nervous.

"Are you ok?" I ask slowly.

"Am I ok?" She stops walking, prompting me to turn and face her. "Tori, you were just talking with the infected _again_. You said you were fine." She exclaims as tears start to form in her eyes.

"Whoa, slow down, I never talked with them the first time. I'm _fine_. I've already explained this a million times." I say getting frustrated.

"Well explain it again." She says as her voice cracks. "Am I loosing you?" She whispers.

"No, absolutely not." I say stepping forward and pulling her into my arms. "Cat, I don't know why he keeps trying to talk to me, but there is no way I'm infected." I say pulling away from her and resting my hand on her shoulders.

"Ok… ok." She sniffles. "I'm sorry.

"It's ok. I know you're worried about me… especially after today you'll be, but I would tell you if I felt any differently. You of all people, and then Trina." I finish.

"I know. She's not gonna be happy about this." She says wiping her eyes.

"Well, she doesn't have to know. Like ever. By the way, what's with you guys always telling her what's going on with me?" I ask.

"She asked all of us to fill her in on anything that's happening ever since… ever since you lost your parents."

I should be upset. Trina needs to trust me, especially now, and not get my closest friends and enemy to spy on me for her.

But I can't be mad.

I'm all she has. If I was in her position I would probably already have bubble wrapped me. In a way it's really sweet actually, she really cares. She used to be so self-centered and conceited, then after we lost our parents she just… broke. I've never seen her so different.

"What are you doing out of class?" Cat asks breaking my out of my thoughts. It's also now that I realize I'm still holding onto her shoulders and I quickly drop my hands back to my sides.

"Oh, I tripped over Jade and apparently hit the ground really hard. They gave me the period off to make sure I was ok." I say. Did I just really say I tripped over Jade? Did I forget that that she stuck her foot out and practically slide tackled me? "Why are you out of class?"

"I dropped it a few weeks back so I usually just hang out in the library."

"Well, lucky for you, I'm on my way there myself for homework. Wanna study together?" I ask.

"That would be great." She says as we start to walk again. "Hey do you wanna come over today? After school?" She asks shyly.

"Uh, sure. What's the occasion?"

"No occasion, just… hangin out."

Oh I see.

"Cat, I'm fine. You don't need to monitor me." I say.

"I know, I just, I wanna make sure. Humor me, please?" She says as we reach the library.

"Alright, just for you." I say as we grab a table and sit down.

After a few minutes of studying I notice Cat's not really paying attention to her text book and she looks like she's thinking about something pretty deep.

"Are you ok?" I ask. That seems to be the question of the day.

"Yeah. I'm just thinking." She says looking up at me.

"About what?"

"Some people… they say some people don't know it's happening, the infection." She says.

"I think they do… I think that they hold off on telling anyone about it because they're afraid. Ja-someone once told me that they knew it was happening, they just didn't say anything about it. Apparently it's a pretty obvious process to the host." I say trying to ease her mind.

"You really think so?" She asks.

"Absolutely." I answer.

"Good. I can't imagine how scary it would be to be fine one day and then all of the sudden, you're at the scream." She says returning to her text book.

"Yeah, there's a lot that builds up to that. We don't have anything to worry about." I say before returning to my text book as well.

The scream. I've mentioned it in passing but I don't really like to think about it. It's the moment the infection is at its peak, the moment that kicks off the change.

After however many days or weeks of acting off there's this pinnacle moment, the scream, when it all comes to a head. Your body convulses, you commonly fall to your knees, and then the most vile noise is ripped from your throat. You scream and like I said before, it sounds like your soul is being ripped from your body. It can last anywhere from five to twenty-five seconds, one shrill scream. At the end of it, you fall to the ground unconscious, your body just shuts down. When it starts back up, if it does, you're changed. Just like that, you're one of the infected.

I've only ever heard one, I didn't see it, but the sound was enough to give me nightmares for months.

I hope to God I never to experience it. Partially because Trina needs me and God knows I need her, partly because I'm afraid, and the last part…

Well, she's sitting right across the table from me.

…. …. … ….. … … … …. ….. … …

As we walk into Cat's house we're immediately greeted by Mrs. Valentine on her way to the kitchen.

"Hey mom, how was your day?" Cat asks. Her mom simply stops to look at us for a moment and furrows her brows. "We'll be upstairs if you need anything." Cat finishes as she pulls me up to her room, her mom continuing to the kitchen.

That was… interesting.

"I'm sorry you never got to know her." Cat says as we enter her room.

"Your mom?"

"Yeah, she was-_is_ a really great person. Caring, smart, and she makes really great soup." She says with a smile as she hops on her bed.

"Yeah? Must be where you get it?" I voice my thought. Gosh dangit Tori. Could you be more obvious?

"I don't know, I guess I'm good at making soup." Cat says deep in thought as I sit next to her.

Dear God she is perfect.

"So, I know we're supposed to study and have a girls night, but before we do, I do this thing every day after I get home from school… if you wouldn't mind." She says as I pull my books out of my bag.

"Not at all, but what exactly is it, if you don't mind me asking?"

"Well besides getting a snack, I usually say a quick prayer for everyone." She says.

"Oh… ok." I say setting my stuff on her bed.

"Do you wanna pray with me?" She asks after a moment.

"Uh… I don't know. I don't really think it's for me." I answer.

"Why not?" She asks tilting her head slightly.

"It's… just not for me. I feel like if there was a God, he would just let all of these things happen." I answer honestly. Please drop it Cat.

"I understand." She says before turning away from me quietly and closing her eyes. She leans her elbows against her knees and folds her hands together, resting them against her lips.

Or… she could just drop it like that for once. Huh, usually she pries more, or at least she tries to understand my reasoning. Then again… I guess she understands that she doesn't _ need_ to understand why I feel that way. That's kind of amazing actually.

Feeling slightly awkward, I slide off of Cat's bed and make my way downstairs to give her some privacy.

As I make it into her kitchen I see her mom and wave awkwardly. Her eyebrows furrow for a moment before she smiles. I open their refrigerator and pull out a bottle of water before looking back to the kitchen table where Mrs. Valentine is. Smile still in place, she's now making dinner, I think. As a take a few healthy gulps of water I notice that from time to time she'll glance at me and then smile a little bigger. Maybe she's appreciative that I tried to make some sort of effort to acknowledge her.

It's actually what I do with my parents too. Whenever I come home from school or get up in the morning, I try to make some sort of effort to communicate with them. Like I'll wave or I'll eat breakfast at the table with them. It's like… if I keep doing it, then one day they'll respond, they'll be back and everything will go back to normal.

God, I sound like such a child.

I make my way back up the stairs and stop before entering Cat's room, hearing the last of her prayer.

"…and bless Jade even though I think she hates you. And also… bless Tori. I know she doesn't really like you either, but she could use your help. She really means a lot to me, God. So maybe... maybe she could mean a lot to you too. Help her be happy, even if she never gets her parents back, help her be happy anyway. I don't think _I_ could be happy without her. Maybe keep an eye on her for me too, just in case. Thank you for blessing me with her." She says before pausing.

I back track out of earshot before she starts again.

Am I supposed to feel this way after hearing that? It's… like a pain but in a good way. I felt my heart twist but only so it would fit in my chest better.

I never knew she felt that way, I never knew I was so important to her. I mean, I know I would lose it if I ever lost her but I never thought about what it would be like if she lost me. I make her happy? I've kind of been a heaping pile of depression since I lost my parents… and I still make her happy? She feels blessed with me? But I'm just me, average at best. I don't get it...

Why does she like me?

I don't mean _like_ like or like in general, I mean why does she look at me as something better? What does she see in me that other people don't have.

"Maybe it's the same thing you see in me."

I jump at hearing that, almost dropping my water, as Cat comes into focus standing right in from of me. I must have been really deep in thought.

"Oh, uh-" I start.

"You're not really a quiet thinker." She whispers with a smile.

"I'm sorry. I was on my way back and-"

"Tori, don't worry about it. I'm not trying to hide anything, so no reason act like I was." She says softly.

"I'm sorry." I say again. She's being so direct and… normal?

"And stop apologizing. Just feel how you need to feel Tori, if you need to be a pile of depression then I'm going to let you and I'm gonna be there when you're ready to get out of it too." She says.

Just like that?

"How do you do it?" I blurt out.

"Do what?" She asks arching an eyebrow.

"This, all of it. I mean you're still your bubbly self, you believe in God in _this _world, you lose your mom and your brother, and you still want to take on whatever anyone else is dealing with?"

How does she do it? What keeps her going? She's lost just as much, if not more, than a lot of people our age, but it's like it doesn't affect her. Even today, walking into her house and having her greet her mother as if she hadn't changed. I acknowledge my parents but that's as far as I go communication wise. There's point in going any further, they can't understand me and it just hurts more. I didn't know Cat when she lost her mom or her brother, but from what Andre and Jade have told me, she was only down for about two weeks. She returned to her usual self and just kept going. What is it? Denial? Naivety? Ignorance?

"I just do the exact same thing I'm telling you. I feel what I need to feel then when I'm ready, I pull myself out of it. Staying there doesn't solve anything but fighting it only makes it worse. I know that things aren't fine, I know that I will probably never get my mom back, but that doesn't mean that I have nothing left. I have my dad, I have a majority of my friends… I have you." She says the last part quietly.

"I'm a mess, Cat." I say tearing up.

"So then be a mess, take as long as you need, but you don't have nothing left, Tori. You still have friends and family and for what it's worth, you still have me." She says taking one of my hands in hers. "And I don't take on what anyone is dealing with, I'm taking on what _you're_ dealing with. Just you." She finishes.

"Why?" I whimper.

"Because out of everyone in _this _world, you're the one I care about the most."

… …**. … ….. ….. …. …. ….. … ….**

**Hello My Lotus Blossoms**

**Yeah.. I need a new name for you all.**

**Anyway, who's all in line to kick me in the face? Ah yes, it's wrapped around the building. Just as anticipated. I'm not even sure how to really apologize. I did give you and extra thousand words though.**

**I'm in the midst of clawing my way out of a hole at the moment. Keep me in your prayers. I feel as if I've made it half way out and am now stopping to rest. I can see the end, but I'm not quite there yet. Mmm, metaphors. **

**Anyway, I do truly apologize for the wait. I'm gonna push to get the next one out soon. Thank you for sticking with me.**

**And on that note, what do you think so far? I have a lot of people confused and asking me questions about how all of this works and I've been purposefully not answering. I promise all will be explained. As you read, things will start to fall into place. You should also just reread everything. Carefully. **

**Speaking of readers… kind of;**

**A special thanks to Nekotite and Bryzenia97 for pushing me to get this one out. **

**Vorago: Oh stop it you, you flatter me. Glad you're enjoying this one.**

**SuperGravyMan: I love it when you talk. I just do.**

**PenNamesAreThereForAReason: Creep all you like, I don't mind.**

**Metal Rider: Glad you enjoyed it and one of those said scenes will definitely happen.**

**Alright, there are plenty more I would get to if I could, just know that I really do appreciate you all. You don't go unnoticed.**

**I'm also working on a few projects at the moment. Another ship came into harbor so I'm obsessed with that at the moment. I'm also officially a writer for a friend who's starting up a show for YouTube, so that's kind of cool. Think, How I Met Your Mother meets The Big Bang Theory. And I know I keep talking about how I'm going to post something on Tumblr and I really want to, I just have to get my head on straight and do it. I'll keep you posted.**

**Alright loves, that's all for this update. Until the next one, Reviews = Love. So spread it around. Thick.**

**A.Y.P.**


	5. You Always Make It

When was the last time you felt happy?

Really, when was the last time you felt truly happy? When there was nothing weighing down the moment you were in and you could just … feel, with no complications. There were no worries about tomorrow or what you had to go back to, there was just you, happy.

I honestly can't remember the last time I felt that way. To be even more honest, I'm not sure I remember what that even feels like.

When I look at my parents, they look that way, happy without anything weighing them down. I wish I could ask them what that's like. I wish they could tell me why they're so happy and how to do it. I want to tell them that I forgot how it feels, I want to tell them that I don't know how to be happy.

But I can't.

The only thing I can do is watch them in their bliss and wonder why I can't feel the same.

"Tori" I hear accompanied by a hand on my shoulder.

"What" I sigh.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself." Trina says sitting next to me on the couch.

"Why not? What else am I supposed to do?" I say tearing my gaze away from my parents making dinner.

"Well for one, you could try to smile. I know mom and dad probably won't understand why but, maybe it'll make them happy to know that you're happy." She says as I look at her.

"Trina, look at them." I say gesturing to our smiling parents. "They _are_ happy, they're completely fine. Why should I have to pretend that I'm ok when it won't matter to them anyway." I say the last part quietly.

"You know that's not true. Tori mom and dad didn't abandon us like you're so sure they did. They-"

"They did abandon us!" I yell cutting her off and standing up. "They didn't call it in when they started to feel different, they didn't even tell us that something was wrong. We came home and they were gone." I say turning to face her.

She looks so sad, just like I do, but she also holds an immense amount of pity in her features.

"Did you ever think that maybe they were doing us a favor that way? Yeah, they didn't say anything, they acted like nothing was wrong, and maybe that's what we needed before they changed. How awful would it have been if we had spent the last few days with them sobbing and mourning them like they were dead? We would have been a train wreck and in denial about the whole thing. Is that really how you would want to remember them?" She asks softly.

No. If they had said something I would've fought it with all I had, I would've spent every waking moment trying to find a way to reverse it. I would've shattered when they changed anyway.

"They didn't have to do it alone… they should've said something." I say still trying to fight her.

"They weren't alone, Tori, they went together. They had each other and they knew we would have each other after they were gone. Whether you believe it or not, they love us, and you're not even angry at them." She says.

"Then why do I feel this way?" My voice cracks as I finally break.

"Because you're hurt. " She says standing and wrapping her arms around me. "And you're scared, and the only thing we have to blame is an infection. There's no one to hate or take your anger out on, there's nothing to fight back or to stop tearing families apart. We have to let this thing take the most important things from us and then accept it."

I let out a sob and bury my face into her shoulder.

"But I won't let it take me, Tori. You're going to have me no matter what and I'm not going to let you go. I'm gonna make sure you always make it." She says holding me tighter.

As sobs start to rack my body, I look up for a moment, and through my distorted vision I catch a glimpse of my parents. They've stopped what they're doing and are looking at Trina and I from the kitchen.

For the first time since their change, they look sad.

…. ….. … … …. …. ….. …. …. ….. … … ….. ….

"Tori, that soccer player is looking at you again."

"Oh Jesus." I say looking over at Teddy. Sure enough he and a few of his buddies are looking at me, smiling.

"Is there a reason you can't go a week without it seeming like you're infected." Andre finishes.

"I don't even know what I did to deserve this." I sigh.

"Well for one, you got your fat head in the way of their ball, so there's that." Jade says casually as she picks at her salad.

"Yes Jade, I had completely forgotten about that whole nightmare, thank you for delighting me with that again." I say sarcastically. She nods then proceeds to ignore me.

I feel like if I did actually know Teddy, I would get tired of him real fast. I mean, it's impossible for us to communicate but that hasn't at all stopped him from trying, so imagine what it would be like if we could actually understand each other. Granted… he did replace my lunch… and check to see if I was ok the other day. I guess it wouldn't be that bad, I'm just kind of annoyed with everyone watching me like a hawk.

Trina was so focused on me this morning she forgot to do her makeup.

That says a lot in and of itself. Although I feel much better since I cried it all out on her shoulder, she's only gotten more concerned about me. Actually, everyone has. I'm guessing she held another "secret" meeting with all of my friends and Jade about what happened yesterday. To be honest I feel a lot better though. Trina held me most of the night and my parents… well, they seemed really concerned. I'm not sure why, but it helped me a lot.

It was comforting I guess. For the first time since we lost them, I felt like we would be ok. If I just fight a little harder or if I just hold out a little longer, everything will be ok.

That and it helps that Cat has been attached to my side all day.

All day except for when lunch started, she disappeared for a while and is just now coming over to our table.

"Hey little red, where have you been?" Andre asks around a mouth full of… what the heck is he even eating?

"Hey guys, I was helping Trina with a makeup crisis, apparently she needed to look flawless the rest of the day because Tori made her ugly for the first half." She answers.

It looks like a sandwich with salad in it… is that a thing? Can we make that a thing?

"How did Tori make her look normal?" Jade asks looking back up from her phone.

"Jade, not nice, and she didn't say. She just told me she didn't put any makeup on this morning." Cat says sitting next to me.

Maybe he was really hungry and put his salad on his sandwich. Hmmm, the salandwich. The sandlad. Yes, the Sandlad!

"Tori" I hear Cat say, snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Huh?" I ask trying to quaff my 'deer in the headlights' look.

"What happened with you and Trina?" Cat asks slowly.

"Oh… uh, nothing. We just… had a heart to heart moment last night I guess. I think things are finally starting to look up for us." I finish with a small smile.

I get a 'good' from Andre, a 'gross' from Jade, and a small smile mirroring my own from Cat.

"You really think so?" Cat asks placing a hand on mine under the table.

I manage to get out a "definitely" whilst trying to hide my blush.

"You guys know as well as anyone that things have been rough for us lately, but for the first time since we lost our parents, I don't feel numb." I add.

"That's awesome Tori, you know we'll be here through the rest of it too. Maybe even Jade. I'm just surprised to hear that Trina has a heart." Andre says before taking another bite of his sandlad.

"I'm more surprised than any of you, trust me. I never knew she had this side of her, but I'm glad she does. I don't know what I would've done without her." I say.

"You would've found a way." Cat says confidently into my ear.

"What makes you say that? I've barely been able to get out of bed some days Cat." By now we've lost Andre's attention and we never had Jade's, so it's just the two of us in our own world.

"Because I know you, you always come through Tori. Even when you think you can't, you always make it." She says turning to face me and resting her chin on my shoulder.

"Well, I'm glad you have so much faith in me. Sometimes the only reason why I make it is because you and Trina are pulling for me." I say glancing at her.

"Sometimes the only reason I make it is because you do." She says nuzzling her face into my neck.

I'm not sure if I wanna cry or blush. Maybe I should do both.

"You smell good again." She breathes.

Definitely blush.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Jade looking up from her phone with one eyebrow quirked up and a smirk. I glare back at her for whatever she's thinking and she simply shakes her head with a healthy eye roll before going back to her phone. She's just jealous because she doesn't have a 4'10" ball of adorableness cuddling into her side. Be jealous Jade… because it's amazing.

Cat pulls back and is about to speak again when I hear a familiar noise. A very familiar noise of shouts coming from the infected like the day I was rifled in the head with a soccer ball.

This causes me to panic and immediately launch myself from our table, before commando rolling under it to hide. It would have been impressive had I not hit my shin against the bench seat…

And had I not burst into tears cradling my shin right after.

…**.. ….. … ….. …. ….. … … …. …**

**Hello my Lotus Blossoms… someone please help me think of a better name.**

**So here's another one for you, things are going to start moving pretty soon, but I wanted to make sure you all got a good feel of the world that's taking place here.**

**So, there are going to be a few changes taking place in the wonderful world of A.Y.P. I'm just making a few minor adjustments to suit a specific direction I want to go in life. So to start, I will be updating on Thursdays instead of Tuesdays. Yay.**

**I also seem to be doing better. So double yay.**

**To the four of you that reviewed: (I totally deserved it)**

**SuperGravyMan: I don't know what it is about your words that warms me, but they do.**

**Nekotite****: It indeed thickens, but you haven't seen anything yet.**

**Bryzenia97: Well if it helps, you matter to me.**

**Waitwhathuh: Good, I like Christmas. Kind of.**

**Amehakey: Thank you my dear.**

**I lied, there were five.**

**Also special thanks to AJ079 for putting up with me.**

**Alright my precious little angels, I'm off to write the next chapter. Reviews = Love, so spread it around. Thick.**

**A.Y.P.**


	6. After All

"But isn't that kind of gross?"

"No, why would it be gross?"

"Well because there's all this spit involved and it's in each other's mouths, you're basically drinking the other person."

"Ew Cat… although you're kind of right." I finish.

Ah and we enter with Cat and I debating if making out is gross or not. I'm not really sure how it got started, I think it was because she saw a girl kiss Andre at lunch. I admit, the guy is smooth, it's about time a lady took interest. Anyway, we're in the library "studying" during our free period and now I guess we're talking about swapping spit. Ew.

"So then why do people do it so much?" Cat asks.

"Well… it's just one of those things, "hot in reality, not in theory". You've made out with people before, did you like it?" I return.

"I guess I did. That's makes sense, but usually in life it's backwards, "hot in theory, not in reality."" She adds.

"Agreed, but there are also people who are just bad at it." I say.

"Are you bad at it?" Cat asks tilting her head slightly.

"Uh, well, I hope not. I've never gotten any complaints." I shrug.

"Do you think I'm bad at it?" She asks innocently.

"Wha-uh… I don't know. It's not like we've ever kissed." I say avoiding her eyes and trying to stop the blush I know is taking over my face.

I mean… I've thought about kissing her, sure…

"Well that's an easy fix." She says leaning across the table and- OH SWEET JESUS TAPDANCING YELLOW PENGUINS SHE'S KISSING ME.

Her lips lightly press against mine and I'm completely frozen. After a moment of my stillness, the starts trying to get some sort of reaction out of me, but I just sit here, wide-eyed, frozen, and waiting for someone to break out in "Let it Go".

Honestly, how many times have I pictured this in my head? It's happening **right now**, and I suddenly forgot how to human. We were literally just talking about horrible kissers and yet here I am, with no face muscles cooperating, and Cat is kissing me.

I can tell she's getting frustrated that I'm not doing anything and I watch one of her hands come up and, I kid you not, she flicks me in the forehead.

So romantic.

But it must've snapped me out of whatever daze I'm in because my eyes close and I start kissing her back. I guess now I know she's a good kisser.

By now I've definitely gathered the information she wanted me to… but judging by the hand she just placed behind my neck, I don't think this is about that anymore.

She pulls away slowly and I'm left leaning forward to try and maintain contact. Our lips separate seeing as I can only lean forward so far and I open my eyes slowly. She's still close, with her hand still on the back of my neck, and there's a small satisfied smile on her face.

"How was that?" She whispers.

I'm not sure I can even tell her. There aren't words to explain how that was… words would just ruin it.

"Uh…" I breathe. I know there's no way to stop that goofy on my face and Cat simply giggles at me. "I don't really think I'm gonna be able to describe that."

"Better in reality?" She asks quirking up an eyebrow.

"Way better in reality." I answer.

I couldn't tell her how it felt if I tried… because I _felt._ I've been so empty after losing my parents… I mentioned I wasn't even sure how to feel happy, but all feeling in general was just gone. My emotions died the day they left for quarantine and I've been numb since… but just now, yes after she flicked me in the forehead, I felt. I don't know what it was, positive or negative or what, but it was there. That thing inside my chest that I can barely call a heart started ringing for a second.

She did that.

She kissed me… and suddenly I felt again.

"Hey Tori?" I hear some kid ask from the door, grabbing mine and Cat's attention.

"Yeah" I say looking over at him as Cat lets her hand fall back to her side.

"Your friend is about to fight some guy in the hallway." He says with a worried look. He would be more worried if he knew all the terrible things I want to do to him for stepping in on Cat and I's moment.

"Jade, she'll be fine." I say with an eye roll.

"No not her... the black guy." He says throwing his thumb over his shoulder.

That is definitely not fine.

"Oh no" I let out before Cat and I scramble out of the library. We weave through people and take stairs two at a time before coming to an abrupt stop in front of Andre's locker. Sure enough, there Andre is with a footballer player locked in a yelling match, with quite the crowd.

"She kissed me, how was I supposed to know she was your girlfriend?" Andre shouts.

"Everyone knows we're together! There's no way she would have done that unless you had something to do with it!" The football player yells back.

This is gonna get bad, fast.

"Ok you two… come on, I'm sure you can deal with this rationally." I say stepping closer to them.

"Stay out of this." The football player snaps.

"Don't talk to her like that. Maybe if you knew how to treat women your girl wouldn't have come running." Andre says. So not helping.

"Andre!" I say stepping in between them to push him away.

"You son of a-" I hear the football player start.

But with my luck, I couldn't just push Andre away calmly and collectively. No, I didn't see the football player cock his fist back before I stepped forward, but boy did I feel it when I was suddenly taking a punch to the gut for Andre.

If that's the noise it made when I fell in class the other day, I can see why people were so worried.

The wind is immediately knocked out of me and I'm on the ground, curled up, and gasping for air in no time. Of all the things to physically hurt me in my life, this is more painful than all of them combined.

The hallway goes dead silent as students look like a deer in headlights, including the football player. Cat immediately drops to my side and I see Andre getting ready to punch this guy's lights out, but before he can, a fist is thrown right into the football players jaw by… none other than my unwanted knight in shining armor, Teddy.

And man… Ted **leveled** that guy.

"Alright, break it up!" I hear a bunch of teachers say as they tear through the crowd with some of the infected teachers.

"Tori? Just breathe, deep breaths." Cat says as I take gulps of much needed air. The teachers escort Teddy, Andre, and the football player away before I'm breathing properly, and it takes two TA's and Cat to drag me to the nurses office. I feel like I can taste my lungs from that punch.

As I'm still hunched over on the bench in the nurses office, Cat rubs my back and tells me to relax.

If I wasn't French kissing my stomach right now, I would make a joke about her taking my breath away…

With the added help of a football player.

… …. … ….. … ….. ….. ….. ….. …. …. …. ….

"So"

"So…"

"Uh… how are you?"

"Really Tori? How am I?" Cat asks with an eye roll and laugh.

This is how 95% of our conversations have been since the library this morning. I'm not really sure what to say to her, I know what I want to talk about, but I'm not sure how to bring it up. The other 5% is her asking if I'm ok after my entrails were rearranged. Apparently I didn't break or damage anything, but I'm definitely gonna feel it for a while. Andre, Ted, and the football player were all suspended for three days, though Andre really didn't do anything. I guess "egging him on" was considered just as bad as throwing a punch.

"You kissed me." I blurt out. Ok Tori, we can just start with that I guess.

"Yeah, I did." Cat says looking just as surprised as I feel at my statement. "And you kissed me back."

"Yeah but I wasn't ready." I blurt out yet again. Jesus Tori, you weren't ready? That's the best you could do?

"Are you ready now?" She asks starting to lean in.

"No" What? I panicked.

"No? That's usually the part where you say yes so I can kiss you again." Cat says furrowing her eyebrows.

"You want to kiss me again?" I really need to stop voicing my thoughts. She literally just said she was gonna kiss you again you idiot. Crushes make me so stupid… or maybe it's the lack of oxygen to my brain from that punch earlier.

"Yeah" She says slowly.

"Why?" It's like you're not even trying. She's not going to want to kiss your stupid face Tori.

"I thought it was obvious…" She says bringing her books closer to her chest. "I… kind of like you." She says before an immediate blush.

"You _kind of_ like me?" I ask with a smile, biting my lip. Cat rolls her eyes again before leaning against my locker with a smile.

"Fine, I… _really_ like you." She says meeting my eyes. Now it's my turn to blush. "And judging by the color of your face, I'd say you really like me to."

"Is that so?" I ask. I'm trying so hard to be smooth, I hope she appreciates that.

"Either that or you have a very intense staring fetish." She says, smile widening at the stone-walled look on my face.

"Jade mentioned that was obvious." I breathe.

"It is, but I'm not complaining. After all, I don't tell just anyone that they smell good." She says and I laugh.

"So… what exactly does this mean?" I ask as people start to head to their next classes after the bell rings. But I don't intend on moving until this conversation is over, I have waited way too long and stolen way too many glances that were clearly noticed at this girl to let this go.

"Well… what do you want it to mean?" She asks.

I'm about to answer when Cat and I hear shouts coming from the next hallway over. Someone yelling about getting help and suddenly two seniors run past us. I'm about to turn my attention back to Cat when I hear a short high-pitched scream… wait… not just any scream.

**Trina's scream**.

I immediately bolt from my locker and down the next hallway to see a small group of people. They're blocking my view and as I start to push past them, another scream rings out. At this point, I shove the last person out of the way to see Trina on the ground, hunched over, and holding her head in her hands. My immediate response is to go to her and see what's wrong but as I take a step towards her, someone grabs my arm to stop me.

"You can't go near her." He says slightly panicked. I glance at the ten foot gap that everyone is keeping between themselves and Trina before answering.

"What? Why not?" I ask.

"She's changing."

What…

"No… she's fine, what do you mean "changing"?" I ask sternly. He looks down and sighs before looking back up at me.

"She's infected"

No…

No.

This isn't happing.

No.

Not her too.

I look back to Trina in time to see her whole body tremble and tense. She looks up for just a moment and meets my eyes. For a second, I thought that maybe he got it wrong, but then…

Her mouth falls open, she takes fist full's of hair on either side of her head, and her eyes lose mine. For a moment, there's a stillness in her and it immediately reflects in all of us. A disturbing silence parallels her before she lets out a noise that can only be compared to a piercing scream. **The** scream.

1…2…

It tears from her throat and I rip my arm away from the student who held it and fall to my knees at Trina's side. My arms are immediately around her as she thrashes in them.

5…6…

By now I'm crying with her as tears stream down her face. I hold her close to me and pray harder than I ever have.

9…

Please God, don't take her from me too.

**10**

I vaguely recognize anything as Trina's body goes limp in my arms. No more scream. No more thrashing. No more crying. Nothing.

And that's when I lose it.

I let out my own scream, of grief, remorse, anger, pain. I cradle her closer to me as HazardCare workers surround me and do their best to pry my arms off of her. Eventually arms go around my chest from behind as they finally manage to rip my arms away from her. I fight whoever has me and is dragging me away from my sister, whispering "You're ok" in my ear.

When I'm taken a decent amount of space away from Trina and the small crowd gathered around her, the person behind me collapses against the ground from fighting against me but still refuses to let me go. Sobs wrack my body and I want to fight my way back to my sister but someone blocks my view.

As caring arms envelop me and pull my head into their chest, I give up. I hold on to them almost as hard as I did to Trina and I let myself fall into hysterics. I don't care who sees and I don't care who knows, because after all…

I just lost my sister.

…**. … …. … ….. …. ….. ….. …. ….. ….. …**

**Hello my… Lotus Blossoms. Make it stop.**

**Anyway, yes, that just happened. You may take a number to punch me in the face.**

**So, things are definitely starting to pick up and just so you know, this was planned since the first chapter. I literally watched as your eyes lit up with hope and then I shredded that hope faster than a bunny through a wood chipper. I wanna say I'm sorry… but I'm not, haha.**

**Alright, so for those asking, no, I'm not ok. But I will be. I also want you guys to know that part of the reason I fight, is for you. Not only because I need a reason to fight, but so you guys can have a reason to fight too. Next week we learn more about extremely vague and confusing words of wisdom.**

**Alright, to a few of you fighters;**

Thomas Barragan: You flatter me, hope I can continue to impress you.

Bryzenia97: Well… Cat kind of kissed it better…

Nekotite: And the plot thickens. I'm only juggling two stories at the moment, but life in general is pretty crazy.

SuperGravyMan: I swoon yet again at your words.

**Sorry for those of you I didn't get to, but know you are seen and appreciated. Welcome to any new readers as well.**

**Alright loves, that's all for this one. Until the next chapter, Reviews = Love, so spread it around. Thick.**

**A.Y.P.**


	7. I'm Not Ok

I'm a mess.

How do I even begin to explain it? How do you explain being alone more than what it is?

I know. I see people all day, they walk by and I hear some sort of static murmur about how sorry they are for my loss. People swing by and drop food off at my house, giving me a rehearsed line about calling if I need anything. Everyone walks on eggshells around me, they hardly say anything for fear that any weight to their words will break me. To be honest, it all barely registers. I don't think I've even seen anything besides the ground for a solid week.

HazardCare requires that an individual takes a minimum of a week off school and work after losing a family member. I'm not even sure what happened the past week outside of what I just explained. I know that Cat stayed over every night and that she held me till I fell asleep. I know that at one point Jade even asked if I was alright, although I can't remember if I even answered her.

Today is my first day back at school, I'm not actually supposed to be here though. Lane required that I take at least two weeks off, but I can't stay in that house anymore. I can't just sit in this familiar place with these unfamiliar people. It's hard with just my mom and dad, but when Trina get's back, I'm not sure if I'll be able to handle it. When she gets back it becomes real. She'll be with our parents, smiling and laughing, and I'll just be here watching.

Part of me envies her.

She gets to be with mom and dad again… she gets to talk to them and understand them and… they get to just look at me. They get to wonder what I'm thinking and go on like nothing's wrong. She gets to hug them again and know what they're thinking.

Another part of me is happy for her. She gets a mom and a dad again.

I wipe a stray tear from my cheek and sniffle.

"Are you ok?" I hear someone say from behind me.

No one was supposed to find me here. I'm sitting behind the last row of cars in the school parking lot, leaning back against someone's tire. No one would ever think to check the parking lot, much less an absurd place like this.

"Not that I was looking for you, but it _is_ lunch time and this _is_ my car." She says gesturing to the tire I'm leaning against.

Oh… oops.

"Oh, sorry. I wasn't really paying attention to where I was going." I say looking up at her. Wow, so that's what I sound like? I almost forgot, it's been a while since I've really spoken. That's the first time I've seen the sky in a while too. It's nice.

"Yeah, you haven't been paying much attention to anything lately, not that I blame you, but Cat does have a search party out for you at the moment." She says looking back towards the school.

"She does? I guess that makes sense, I think I was supposed to meet her for lunch." I say.

"You were, she wouldn't shut up about me having to be nice today at lunch. It's why I decided to go out." She smirks.

"Oh" I answer simply before looking back at the ground.

"Jesus, ok, come one, get in the car." She says unlocking her doors and pulling me up from the ground.

"Jade, you really don't have to-"

"Yes, I do. The longer you sit there not functioning, the more Cat starts to lose it. So we're going to lunch, preferably Subway, and you're gonna talk out what you've been refusing to tell anyone for the past week. Let's go." She says getting into the driver's side.

I run around the other side of the car and barely get in before she starts to pull out of her spot.

"It's barely a two minute drive there so I'm gonna lay down some ground rules." She says and I nod. "If you start crying, I will not be wiping any tears or being a shoulder to sob on. If you have a mental breakdown, I will record it for unknown purposes. If you don't start talking about what's going on, I have an arsenal of less than appropriate methods to get you to start speaking. And if you tell anyone that I did this for you, I will end your life, slowly. Clear?" She asks finishing her rant.

"Yeah." I squeak out. She's even scary when she's trying to be nice and help me.

"And for the love of flipping tables over tits, please text Cat and let her know you're with me." She says with a healthy eye roll.

I actually manage a small smile at that as I grab my phone to text Cat.

Who would've thought? Jade of all people getting me to smile.

….. …. ….. ….. … ….. ….. …

"Ready to talk yet?" Jade says between bites of her sandwich.

"I don't know what you want me to say that you don't already know." I answer.

"Seeing as you've hardly said anything at all for the past week, there's not much any of us know. It's really just a guessing game." She says around a mouth full of food.

"I think it's kind of obvious how I feel. I don't really need to talk about it." I defend.

Jade rolls her eyes and swallows."Did you know that you're on suicide watch?"

"What?" I ask, my eyes snapping to hers.

"Yeah. Granted, most people are after losing a family member, but it's usually just a precaution. You however, are red flagged. You might not be able to tell with your eyes on the ground, but everyone's watching you like a hawk." She finishes.

"Suicide watch?" I can't believe it… it's not that I haven't thought about it, but is it really that bad? "I'm grieving Jade, I just lost what little I had left of my family. It's been what, a week? People can't just expect me to be fine." I argue.

"When's the last time you ate something?" Jade interjects, studded eyebrow quirked up.

"I don't see how that has to do with any-"

"Just answer the question." She cuts me off.

"Fine… it was…" Wait… when _was_ the last time I ate something?

"Yeah, and how many nights have you spent alone?" She asks.

"None" I answer looking back down. Cat's been at my house every night.

"How many hours do you sleep at night?"

"Two I think." I answer honestly.

"Right so there's all of that, you don't acknowledge anything, and you won't even tell anyone that you're not ok."

She's right. At night when I'm not sleeping (though Cat thinks I am), I just stare out my bedroom window. At first I figured longing glances out of a window are common or poetic with what I've been going through, but… now that I think about it, I'm not actually looking at anything. I couldn't tell you what's outside of my bedroom window if I tried. I don't see anything, I simply face the direction.

And I can't even tell anyone that I'm **not** ok.

"Tori, no one's asking you to be ok, hell, we're all practically begging you to have a mental breakdown. Anything is better that whatever is happening right now."

"But I don't know Jade, I don't know what's happening right now." I say loudly.

Jade's eyes bounce around the room to ensure I didn't draw any attention before continuing.

"Then ok. Don't know what's happening, that's fine. The only reason you feel this way is because you're trying to be and feel something. You are forcing yourself to try and be something you just aren't capable of right now. You should be whatever you feel like being and you need to let yourself. Don't tell yourself to be happy for Trina, or strong for your parents, or happy for Cat, or even heal for yourself. Feel whatever you have to feel and don't fight it."

At this point tears well up in my eyes. "What am I supposed to do?" My voice cracks.

"Whatever the hell you want." Jade says and for the first time, I see compassion in her eyes. "Whatever feels the best, whatever makes this tolerable. There's this unspoken rule that surrounds everyone, "You're not allowed to feel how you need to feel". We're constantly preached at that we have to happy and be ok. We'll I'm calling bullshit. When has that ever made someone happy, forcing yourself to be ok? No, you feel whatever you have to feel to get through it, then you can be ok. Do whatever you have to do but, Jesus, at least let us know what it is." She finishes.

I'm… I can feel however I need to feel?

"What if… what if I really need to cry right now but I'm afraid of you punching me in the mouth…" I whimper, barely holding myself together.

Jade sighs and runs a hand through her hair.

"Then I guess I am the unfortunate shoulder until we can get back to Cat." She says. "But can we at least get into the car first."

I nod. If I say one word, if I even open my mouth, nothing but sobs will come out. My vision is completely blurred by tears and my eyes almost feel heavy because of them.

You know when Trina changed, Jade's the one that pulled me off of her. I kind of just figured it was Andre but Cat told me that Jade pushed her way through the crowd and even elbowed a teacher in the throat to get to me. She fought against me and then put me into Cat's arms. That alone, knowing that she has some sort of care for me, is enough to make me cry.

Sure enough, the second Jade's car doors shut, I'm sobbing.

I don't think I've ever cried that hard before. Most of it is for my family, because I miss them and because now I'm alone. But some of it is because I had no idea the amount of care my friends have for me. Cat's would light herself on fire if it would get a smile out of me, Andre has been screening everyone who's tried to even talk to me, and Jade… she cared enough to talk some sense into me today.

Although Jade's speeding to get back to the school, very uncomfortable with my hysterics, I know that she cares. Not only for me (albeit minutely) but for Cat too. She mentioned Cat was going insane about me earlier and I know she talked to me for Cat's sake also.

I honestly don't think Jade expected this though, I can catch glimpses of her through my tears and if I wasn't crying so hard, I would probably laugh. She's white knuckling the steering wheel and looking incredibly nervous.

"Ok, we're back, and… uh…" She tries before throwing her door open. "Cat!" I hear her yell as she sprints through the parking lot.

I wanna tell myself to suck it up, although I shouldn't, so I can at least not look like a total wreck when I get out of the car.

Somewhere in the past week, a HazardCare worker asked if I had noticed any of the signs of the infection in Trina. To be honest, I didn't. I didn't even blink when Cat mentioned that Trina **forgot** to put makeup that one morning. How did I now see _that_? That's so outside her personality and I'm her sister… and I missed that. I know she knew what was happening and I know she did nothing about it so that I wouldn't worry. She wanted to be and was the best part of my day until she changed. She wanted me to remember that.

But it doesn't make it hurt any less.

It takes a few minutes, and a few much needed gulps of air, but I finally manage to knock myself down to a whimpering mess. I take a deep breath and sniffle a few times before managing to get out of the car.

I keep my eyes on the ground, as usual, as I start walking towards the school. I feel like I wanna stare at the ground until life makes sense, so I will.

The only problem with that method is that you don't see where you're going very well.

I bump into someone at what I assume is halfway through the parking lot and almost fall over. I feel two strong hands on my shoulders, steadying me, and I unwillingly look up to apologize and… Teddy.

His brows furrow at seeing my face.

"Sorry Teddy" I whimper, though I know he doesn't understand.

He stares at me for a moment before taking my face into his hands and wiping my tears with his thumbs. A small smile graces his face before he wraps his arms around me and pull me to his chest.

This is usually the part where people start sobbing because someone's finally holding them… but I don't feel that way at all. I feel… relaxed. I feel like right here there's a form of comfort that I've been missing and it doesn't make me wanna cry, it makes me wanna smile.

And honestly… it makes me feel like I can feel ok. Not right now I mean, but like I can eventually.

I relax into Teddy's arms, though I shouldn't even be near him, and I wrap my arms around him too. Right now I feel like I need to be held, I don't care that it's Teddy doing it. This feels better, this feels good. This makes all the pain tolerable.

"Tori?" I hear someone say quietly.

I open my eyes (which I didn't realize I closed) and see Cat standing next to us. Whups.

"Are you guys… ok?" She asks hesitantly.

I look up at Ted and he seems just as confused as Cat is.

"Yeah… we're fine." I say still not letting go of Ted. I don't feel like letting go yet and he doesn't seem to mind. Cat's brows furrow for a second before she decides to speak up.

"You tryin' to steal my girl Ted?" She asks.

I actually laugh at that, something foreign to all three of us over the past week.

Teddy just continues to stare back and forth between Cat and I before Cat opens her arms and hugs us. This is definitely the most awkward group hug I've ever had, especially seeing as it includes an infected, but it feels…

Amazing.

Being held between Cat and Teddy, coupled with the things Jade said today, I know what to do now. I know what I am.

I'm not ok, I'm in pain, and I have a lot of people who care about me.

I'll be held by Ted whenever I feel like it, I'll find a way to kiss Cat more, and I'll get a hug out of Jade eventually.

I'm gonna be sad for a while, I'll feel alone, and I'll probably cry a lot.

But I know I'm gonna make it through this.

And all of that in and of itself, is ok.

…**.. … ….. … … …. …. ….. …. ….**

**Hello my…**

**Lotus Blossoms, ugh.**

**Sorry this one took a little longer than usual, one early life crises and a family camping trip later, and here's your chapter. I'm not sure how pleased I am with this one, but I guess it'll do. Another reason why I've been spotty with the updates is because I'm a part of another growing fandom, so that takes up a lot of my time. But don't worry, I won't ever forget about this one.**

**So, what do you think of the chapter?**

**(This is usually where I insert some line about my life and whatever else I claim I don't like to talk about) All in all, I feel how I need to feel and "we all gon be ok".**

**I would also like to thank so many of you that reviewed the last chapter. For some bizarre reason there's been a spike in those along with people finding my other stories lately, so thank you.**

**Speaking of;**

**Metal Rider: Well I loved that review. I literally almost cried laughing.**

**GrandesHeaven: Everyone seemed to have that reaction to the last chapter…**

**Thomas Barragan: Just fanfiction at the moment, but soon brother, very soon.**

**SuperGravyMan: This sheds a little light on it. I seem to be doing better than Tori is at the moment though, thank God.**

**And special shout out to AJ079 for putting up with me, again.**

**Alright loves that's all for this chapter. Remember, Reviews = Love, so spread it around. Thick.**

**A.Y.P.**


	8. Now Is The Time

"You know if people see us here, they might have questions."

"I know and I don't really care."

"You seem… drawn to them."

"Maybe I am. No one can really blame me though, seeing as I'm alone and a newly infected Trina gets home in a week."

"You're not alone, but I understand where you're coming from." Cat says.

We've been sitting on the bleachers of a giant football/soccer field for the better part of an hour now. It's a community field where a lot of the athletes from HA hold practices. Since we're a performing arts school, sports aren't really integrated much, so it's basically a recreation league for those who want to play. We didn't even have a sports program at all, but the faculty realized that after a student or student's family member was infected, there would be a significant drop in the performance aspect of the school. When people are upset, they don't wanna put on a show, they wanna let it out. Thus, the rec sports leagues were started for the infected and non. It helps people manage their emotions and keeps the school plays and performances balanced.

I however, am not coordinated enough for sports, nor do I really feel like performing at all at the moment. So we're actually at the field watching Teddy and the infected soccer team practice. Cat actually wasn't supposed to come, I was walking here by myself, but she didn't want me to go alone.

"That and I don't really see what's wrong with it. Teddy's a nice guy, although infected." I say.

"It's **because** he's infected Tori. It's not that it's wrong, it's just odd. I like him too but, it's still gonna be a cause for concern." She states.

I know Cat, I know, you're right. I'm just being difficult. I'm kind of in that mood where I want to bicker with anything and anyone about everything.

"Yeah… but I kinda want to invite him to dinner." I say.

"Not that he would understand you, but you could. I wouldn't be opposed to him third wheeling our unofficial date." She says nonchalantly.

Have you ever choked on air? Well I am at the moment and it's not as fun as you'd think.

"Our what?!" I gasp as she pats my back.

"You heard me, clearly." She smiles.

"I heard you but… date?" I ask.

"I'm totally fine waiting until you're ready." She's quick to defend.

"Ready for what?" I ask willing myself to breathe properly.

"I wasn't gonna mention anything until you were ready with all that was going on… but, you remember that time when…" She trails off looking at me.

"That time when your face was on my face for an extended period of time?" I ask hesitantly.

"Yeah," She laughs. "And then it kind of came out that you like me and I like you…"

"And then Trina changed." I sigh.

"Yeah. The timing was… horrible to say the least, but I'm willing to wait and help you get through all of that, then maybe we could talk about it?" She asks hopeful.

You know what… what the hell, let's do this.

"Or we could talk about it now." I say and she visibly perks up almost surprised.

"Really? Are you sure now is the time?" She asks.

"Honestly, no. I don't think it's possible to find the right moment in this world, time is… fickle. Right now is as good as any." I say honestly.

All concept of time to me is a joke. I thought I had time, with my parents, with Trina, but in hardly a minute I lost all of them. Tomorrow everything could be gone, Cat, Teddy, even me. So why should we wait? I know I need time to try to heal and figure myself out, but why not with Cat right beside me? Maybe I'm just reckless, maybe I'm not thinking straight, but it's what I want right now. The thought of having her, of… kissing her again, that feels good. I want that. I want to feel good.

I want to feel good with Cat.

"I just want you to be ok Tori. I don't wanna push you into this with so much going on right now." She says taking my hand in hers.

"You're not. As far as I know, as long as you're here, I'll be ok. We'll figure me out. But I don't really know how much longer I can go pretending that I don't wanna kiss you all the time." I let out and she blushes.

Wow I'm unfiltered when I'm depressed. Usually that would have me hitting myself in the head with a rock for saying that so bluntly.

"Well, I think that's an easy fix, the rest will be a little harder." She says after some adorable lip biting.

"And I'm ok with that as long as you are. What do you say?" I ask. I can tell she's trying not to explode into a smile.

In fact, she doesn't say anything at all, she simply leans in and lightly pressing her lips against mine.

I would've called it romantic had she not burst into a fit of giggles immediately after kissing me. I don't think I've ever seen her smile like that. It was like a unfiltered happiness. To be honest, I'm glad that I can make her happy like this, at least one of us is. Although, I can't help but feel a smile pull at the corners of my lips at seeing her almost writhe with excitement.

She almost started vibrating but that was cut off by Teddy walking up the bleachers to us with a huge smile on his face. He sits down in front of us with a bottle of water and, I love it when he does this, pretends to know what's going on.

"I know you won't get a word of this Ted, but you are officially as of thirty-seven seconds ago, the third wheel." Cat says throwing an arm over my shoulders and pecking me on the lips again. Geez, I thought _I_ was gonna be the one kissing her all the time.

Ted is of course, really confused at first, but then it looks like a bomb goes off in his head. He quickly stands up and turns to his team, yelling something at them. They all start smiling and looking really excited as he turns back to us with a blinding smile of his own.

"Did he just out us to his soccer team?" I ask Cat.

"I think so? Not bad for the first set of people who know though, they all seem pretty happy about it." She says pecking me on the lips again. I stand corrected from my earlier statement, _she's_ the one who was having problems pretending to not want to kiss me all the time.

I smile at Cat's adorableness as one of Teddy's teammates runs up the bleachers with a soccer ball in hand. We all look over at him and he looks like he's thinking really hard about something. He and Teddy exchange words before her turns to Cat and holds out the ball to her.

"Uh… thank you?" She questions taking the ball. He simply stands there and stares at her for a few moments before looking back and forth from her to the field.

"I think he wants you to play with them…" I guess.

"Me? I don't even play soccer." She says looking up at him.

"Maybe they wanna teach you? Go play, maybe you'll get a "Teddy" too." I say with a laugh. The other day she mention how she wants a "Teddy" just like me. There's something about having a guy around that doesn't understand a word you're saying that attracts her I guess.

"Good point…" She trails off before standing abruptly and addressing Teddy's friend. "Alright, me and you are gonna play, and then we're gonna find me a "Teddy"." She says to him before skipping down to the field. He seems confused but ecstatic about it and skips along right behind her.

I laugh at watching the two of them as Teddy sits down where Cat was next to me. He seems to be amused by their interaction too. It wasn't that long ago when even I didn't get involved with any infected, now Cat's trying to learn how to play soccer from them.

"I know that you're not gonna get a word of this, but thank you." I say to Teddy. As expected his looks at me with his eyebrows furrowed, trying to understand anything he can from me. "You may not have realized it, but you've been here for me though all of this, even with just common kindness at the right times. We can't even understand each other but, I think you've probably helped me the most. I'm not sure what attracted you to me, besides beaming me in the head with a soccer ball, but… I'm glad it did." I say taking his hand and squeezing gently. I know he doesn't understand me, but he smiles at me anyway and squeezes back.

Between holding hands with Teddy and watching Cat barrel through the soccer team, I feel good.

If there is some shred of hope, some silver lining in all of this, it's these two.

… … … … … …. … ….. …. ….. ….. ….. …. ….. …

"I think I should join the soccer team."

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's actually really fun. Those guys are so great to be around too." Cat says taking another bite.

"Could it be because you picked it up like a natural and schooled them all?" I say with a laugh.

"Maybe" She says with a wink.

We've been at Nozu for the past half hour on… a date? I don't know. We had already planned on going out to eat after Ted's practice, but after what we talked about, is this technically a date?

"Is this a date?" I blurt out. Smooth Tori.

"I thought we already established that this was, in fact, a date earlier." She says slightly surprised at my outburst.

"I just… wanted to check. I'm not really sure how this all works at the moment." I say honestly.

"What do you mean?" She asks.

"I don't know, like, besides all the hand holding and kissing, I'm not really sure how this works right. I don't wanna mess this up." I say.

"Well, if you want we can hop in bed together after this." She shrugs… and then I choke for the second time today..

"Oh my god, Tori, I'm totally kidding." She says reaching around to pat my back as I sputter.

"We've been dating for a day and you're already trying to kill me." I say after I finally clear my throat.

"We'll I kind of expected you to laugh, not take it seriously." She says.

"I didn't take it seriously!" I shriek, earning a look form a waitress. I smile apologetically before rephrasing my sentence. "I didn't think you were serious, I just never expected you to say something like that."

"You know I'm not as oblivious to everything as everyone thinks." She says catching my attention. "I know about things and can be just as sane as anyone else, I just choose not to be."

"I never thought you were-"

"I know," She cuts me off. "I just wanna make sure you remember that I'm a person too. I get sad, I miss my family, I occasionally think about sex, and I can be very unpredictable." She finishes.

She thinks about sex? That _would_ be the only thing I caught.

"To be honest I wish I was like Ted's soccer team." She says.

"What do you mean? Like… infected?" I ask worried.

"No! No. I mean like how they are. They're so carefree and happy. It's like they live in a world where the infection doesn't exist. They can't understand us yet they still wanna be friends and have fun. They're missing family members too, but it's like it doesn't even faze them. I'm not sure if it's because they're oblivious to what's happened to them or what, but I loved being with them. It almost made me feel the same way." She says dropping her gaze to the table.

"Wow… I guess I can see why you liked them so much. I never really thought about that, thinking about how they feel." I say.

"Can tell you something?" She says looking back up at me.

"Of course."

"You make me feel like that too."

…**.. … … ….. ….. ….. … … …. … …. …. …**

**Hello … my Lotus Blossoms. I hate it.**

**Anyway, sorry for the wait, this was actually meant to be up last week… but that clearly didn't happen. I've been stupidly busy networking lately, trying to make a life.**

**So what do you think? It's more of a filler chapter but things will be picking up soon in the next two chapters.**

**ALSO: So I'm writing a book, like a legitimate book, not a fanficion. I have the first two chapters complete (which is why this one gets updated so seldom, my apologies) and I'm super duper excited about it. I wanna get it done by December, eventually I may need your guys' help though. **

**I think that's all I had to say…**

**Waitwhathuh: Thank you my dear, I do what I can.**

**Thomas Barragan: Although every single word was painfully misspelled, thank you sir. **

**Bryzenia97: You are too sweet! I'm really glad that I can connect with people so personally through the characters.**

**Vorago: Oh stop it you. Hearing things like that really does make me believe that writing can get me somewhere. It's what I want and I thank you as well as everyone else for helping me believe that.**

**SuperGravyMan: You're reviews are so beautiful. Ugh, I swoon.**

**Special shout out to Tjwolsey2001 for quite the uplifting PM when I needed it.**

**You guys are amazing and I need you all to know that you keep me going just as much as you claim I keep you going. The past year has been… difficult. But when I'm here, it's always the same and it's a comfort none the less. I'm suddenly that 14 year old kid with far too much on their mind again, escaping into a place where none of it matters. Here I am A.Y.P. and my words mean something. I thank each and every one of you for making that possible.**

**Alright, that's all for this update. Until the next one, Reviews = Love, so spread it around. Thick.**

**A.Y.P.**


	9. She Finds Me

At what point do you go from just being lonely to being alone?

For years there were times where I felt lonely, like I didn't have someone to talk to or be with. Once I started to understand the true weight of the infection and what it is when I was younger, I feared being lonely. What would I do? How would I cope knowing that I had no one to turn to? Where would I be if I lost my parents or my sister?

The loneliness really crept in when I lost my parents. It was like my world was ripped away from me and suddenly I was the only one in it. That was probably the loneliest I had ever felt in my life.

That is… until the infection took Trina.

That, the past 3 weeks of my life, _that _is when I finally knew the true meaning of being lonely. My family, the people I care about the most, the people who are always supposed to be there, the one thing you're supposed to be able to count on, is gone.

I keep replaying the few months before she changed, after we lost our parents, in my head. I think about all the moments I spent complaining about how annoying her incessant worrying about me was. I think about all the times she was finally acting like the sister I needed. I think about how much time I wasted with her, how much time we spent apart, and how much time I thought we had.

The past month I went through the worst depression I have ever been in. I was too depressed to go to too many places. I didn't feel like hanging out and rarely wanted to do anything in general. Now, sitting here in my living room with Trina and my parents laughing and talking in the other room, I realize how much I've been affected.

It went from me not feeling well enough to do anything to me actually not _wanting_ to do anything. When Cat would try to get me out of the house I legitimately didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. I didn't want to see people.

The worst of it all though…

I _liked_ being alone.

All my life I thought I had feared being alone, that roaring loneliness that we all hope to avoid. I finally realized the difference between being alone and being lonely. All my life I had dealt with being lonely but now that I'm alone, I find myself almost craving the emptiness.

When I am alone, I am the only company I need. There is already so much going on in my head that adding another person would just complicate things.

When I am alone I am no longer lonely, I'm simply with myself.

But that's good right? I'm able to be by myself and enjoy my own company. I have the ability to take care of myself and be strong enough to make it.

But dear God it's so terrible.

A mere two weeks ago I had decided that I wanted to be ok eventually. As long as I had the people I needed I would survive all of this, but when I got home… the only things I could hear were the things echoing off the empty walls. I was alone and I realized that I had to get used to that. I had to be ok with it or it would consume me.

But now I think I'm stuck.

Trina walked back into our house a week ago after her three week Quarantine and you wanna know what happened? She walked in seeing me standing there first, looked at me with a sad smile, then ran to my parents with the happiest expression I had ever seen her with. They laughed, they cried, and they talked non-stop. She hadn't looked at me again after that. Sitting here a week later, I don't even think I can feel the pain from it anymore.

I just stood there and watched as she reunited with our parents and all I could do was watch as I no longer mattered.

That's all that happened. At one point Cat came over to hold me as I cried. It's been on and off like that ever since. I don't know what I expected to be honest. I know what the infection does to people, I know how it works. I guess part of me, no matter how absurd it was, pretended like she was going to come home normal. That little part of me is what broke the hardest when she returned. Trina's with our parents again, she's happy again.

The infection blurred me to them and now I've never felt so alone.

And I'm angry.

I'm angry at them for leaving me, for leaving me all alone. I'm angry at myself because I know it's not their fault. I'm angry at everyone around me for looking at me like I'm this time bomb. And I'm so angry at this world that we live in for the way it works. People say that life isn't fair, but these are odds we weren't made to beat.

"You ok?" I hear snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah sorry, I was just thinking." I reply.

"It's ok. Care to share?" She asks running her fingers over mine.

"Just thinking about… Trina. My parents, the infection, life." I list off.

"That's a lot more than what I'd call "date material"." She smiles.

"I know, a lot's bee-"

"You don't have to apologize Tori." She cuts me off. "It's ok. I'm right here with you remember? I know how hard this is for you and it's ok to get lost in your thoughts for a while."

"Not when I'm supposed to be on a date with my amazing girlfriend." I retort.

Cat smiles and shakes her head at me. "You can get lost any time you need, especially with me. I'm always gonna be here to find you again."

But the one good thing that came out of all of this?

Cat.

Not just in the friend sense of being there for me when I need her, but in the way she is with me in general. No matter how badly I wanted to fall into that depression of losing everything I held dear to me, she wouldn't let me go. Although she allowed me to feel however I felt necessary, she never let me stay down too long before pulling me back up. She knows what it's like, she's been here before too. Whether it's soft kisses when I need them or full on getting in my face to get out of bed, she's been here through all of it.

How on earth did I get that lucky?

How did I get someone so understanding and patient as Cat? I'm 110% sure that I wouldn't have the ability to do for someone what she's done for me.

"So, did you talk to Teddy today?" I ask changing the subject. If I even address what she just said to me with more than a smile, I'll start sobbing.

"Yeah I did earlier this morning before school. I have no idea what he said but he was excited about it. I think he was trying to invite us to their final tonight against Westfield." She says before taking a bite of her sushi.

"Oh-wait… how do you know when their games are?" I question.

"I looked up their schedule. I figured we might as well try to get out to one of their games, seeing as we're the three amigos. Plus his buddy Steven." She says.

"Steven? That's the name you went with?" I ask smiling.

"He just seems like a Steve to me and he's mine anyway, so I get to name him." She grins. Crazy to think that not that long ago she was telling me to stay away from the infected and now she's claimed one of them as "hers".

"So what time is the final?" I ask signaling the waitress for the check.

"In an hour at the stadium Steve and Teddy usually practice in. It gives us enough time to go back to your house and cuddle for fifteen minutes." She says with a cheeky grin.

"We could… or we could just get to the game early." I suggest. He smile changes to a look of understanding.

"Baby steps Tori. I know it hurts to be there, but if we make small steps towards it, it starts to hurt less. I can promise you that." She says and I sigh. "But we don't have to do that today. Let's just head over to the stadium and catch up to the team before they play." She finishes.

It's time like this when I wonder how the hell a person like her found me. When she really started taking an interest in me I was mere weeks away from my life completely collapsing. What if she had decided to stay at arm's length? What if she had ignored my infatuation with her? What if she hadn't kissed me the day Trina changed?

She couldn't have found me at a better time and she continues to find me every day.

….… … ….. ….. … … … …. ….. … …... …

"You call that a foul?! Yeah, well the ref must be pregnant because he missed the past two periods!"

"Cat!"

"What?"

"Where on earth did you get that?"

"I Googled everything you need to know about soccer after that day I practiced with Steve for the first time and that was clearly a flop, not a foul."

"That is not what I meant… I was talking about about the ref."

"Oh that, I also Googled twenty insulting things you can say to a referee. You'd be surprised at how many contain very… vulgar language." She trails off.

Ladies and gentlemen, my girlfriend.

The match has actually been pretty intense. I've never really been in to sports, but I have to admit, this had been pretty entertaining. From Cat screaming at the top of her lungs to actually watching the players tearing through the field, there's almost too much to look at. They've been tied at 1 - 1 since the first half and we're down to the final five minutes now.

Cat and I managed to hang out with the team for a solid 15 minutes before they retreated to the locker rooms. We literally just stood there and nodded while they animatedly talked about God knows what, but I can't say I didn't enjoy myself.

"Tori!" Cat screams into my ear whilst violently shaking me.

"What?" I ask startled out of my thoughts.

"They're going down to PK's!" She yells.

"Uh… what?" She should really know that I have no idea about anything pertaining to sports.

"It's a penalty shootout! It means they take one person from each team and they try to score against the goalie, alternating between teams until one team wins at the end of 5 or 6 kicks." She rushes out.

"Oh… is that bad?" I ask.

"It can be, but I think we have a real shot. Our keeper is amazing and our shots on goal are pretty accurate, but they're just as good." She explains with a worried expression.

"Cat… when and where did you learn all of this?" I ask. Since when was she such a soccer buff?

"As to the when; gradually since I first practiced with them. As for the where; internet. I just really enjoyed-OH MY GOD, NO, THEY MADE ONE!" She blasts.

My attention quickly snaps to the field where, indeed, the other team just scored on us. As one of our players and the other goalie take the field, I feel Cat's hand death grip mine. As painful as it is, her nervous/anxious face is so adorable, it's worth a few fractured fingers.

I turn my attention back to the field as the other teams goalie blocks our shot. Cat groans and bites down on her other hand.

As it so happens, our keeper manages to block the rest of the other teams shots. Our team managed to tie it 1 - 1 but now we have to make this one to win. Cat shrieks as she sees Teddy take the field next. He looks beyond under pressure and I know that if I was in his position, I would've passed out. For the love of God Teddy, just pretend the goal is the back of my head in the Asphalt Café.

"He looks nervous. " Cat whines.

He really does. He takes his position at the top of the box while the goalie seems to be imitating a bird in the goal. Teddy takes a huge breath before looking over to his team. Their all chanting something and encouraging him I'm sure before he looks over towards us.

"Woooo, Get it Teddy!" Cat yells at the top of her lungs. Quite a few heads turn, clearly noting that she's not infected like everyone else. At first I'm a tad uncomfortable, that is, until Cat nudges me.

"Yes Tori, we're clearly not infected, surprise! Teddy needs us!" She says before screaming more supportive things I'm pretty sure she Googled on the way here.

She's right. They're gonna stare anyway and I literally have nothing to lose.

"Come on Teddy, if you can hit me in a sea of people, you can hit that corner!" I yell pointing at the goal. Teddy's face immediately brightens and a face eating grin erupts over his features.

He turns back to the goalie as Cat and I keep the supportive momentum. I guess we sparked the rest of the crowed to join in because soon they're all yelling too. Teddy takes another deep breath before taking three quick strides to the ball. He brings his leg back before striking the ball with an absurd amount of force. It was almost like watching it in slow motion as their goalie threw his body to the right to block the shot. He seemed to just miss it as it sailed into the top corner of the net. We all froze for a moment, not comprehending that Teddy, in fact, just scored and won the game.

All of a sudden, the crowd erupts in screams and applause as our team ran out onto the field towards Teddy. I was even more surprised to find myself screaming in excitement and dragging Cat off the bleachers onto the field. She quickly caught on to what I was doing and picked up her pace. Cat practically elbowed her way through the entire team, opening a space for me to get to Teddy. I gladly took the opportunity and tackled him into a hug.

"Oh my God you did it!" I scream as Cat also tackles us in a hug. Teddy also starts screaming something and we just become three screaming idiots, no clue what the other is saying, but beyond ecstatic.

Teddy's Team is quick to pry us away from him as they hoist him up on their shoulders and practically rifle a giant trophy into his arms. I'm about to scream something else but amidst all the sweaty soccer players and shouts in a language I don't understand, I feel two hands roughly grab on to the collar of my jacket. Before I know it, Cats lips are smashed onto mine. Dear God it's not like _I_ won the game, but she sure is kissing me like it.

She pulls back abruptly, the corners of her lips turned up slightly into a small smile. Our chests are heaving and all the noise around us seems so fade. I see something in her eyes that I've seen briefly before, but never to this extent. It's like something just ignited in her and whatever it is, I think it's starting in me too.

I think I finally understand what she meant when she said she was jealous of the infected. They always seem so happy, like they don't have a care in a world, like the infection doesn't exist. With the way I feel right now, in this exact moment, I'm happy. I just watched my friend score the winning goal for his team, my girlfriend just gave me what I think is the best kiss I've ever had, and now she's looking at me like I'm the most precious thing in the world. I get it, wanting to feel the way they feel and right now, I feel that way.

We were definitely right about one thing, this life isn't fair, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't make up for it. After all I've lost and suffered in this twisted world;

It gave me Cat.

I lean in to kiss her again with just as much passion as she kissed me with, when three little words cause me to stop short, our lips barely grazing as she breathes them out.

"I love you"

… …**.. …. … … …. …. ….**

**I don't wanna talk about it.**

**I'm not sure what I would even say if I wanted to talk about it.**

**We all know that when I don't update for an extended period of time, usually that means that something bad happened. Well, something bad happened and if I survive another year, maybe I'll explain it. Just… pray for me.**

**But on the real, I truly, deeply, apologize for letting you guys down. I have not been consistent like I promised I would be and I haven't been putting the effort into this that you all deserve. I'm sorry for not giving this the attention it deserves either. People depend on me and I haven't been delivering or working to my full potential. So I ask for forgiveness.**

**Moving on;**

**This chapter was actually 90% done for the majority of the hiatus, even though literally nothing happened. It is however, quite an important chapter.**

**So let me know what you think and place your bets on how long the next chapter will take.**

**Thomas Barragen: Hopefully this eases your mind for a bit. Thank you for the kind words.**

**SuperGravyMan: I think I honestly miss your words the most.**

**Bryzenia97: Your ship is pending approval for now haha. I'm flattered that you share my work with others though, so thank you.**

**Tjwolsey2001: I've been brushing up on reading the smut, just for you. Yeah that sounded a lot less creepy in my head.**

**Many more I wish I could get to, just know I appreciate you all.**

**I don't really have much to say besides that. So until the next update, Reviews = Love and I need a lot of that right now, so spread it around. Thick.**

**A.Y.P.**


End file.

Victorious, Romance, Sci-Fi