Labyrinth 1. Introductions

Disclaimer: I don't own the Labyrinth…or Jareth…*tear*

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Rose: So I got this idea from another fan fiction that was like an interview thing. Basically you can send me any questions you may have and I will ask my lovely Labyrinth friends and they will answer.

Jareth: No I will not.

Rose: Wanna bet?

Jareth: Like I'm really scared of a mortal?

Rose: How about a mortal with good aim, combat boots and full view of your family jewels?

Jareth: My family je-… *gets quiet and slightly green*

Rose: *smiling brightly* Like I said, just send the questions and they will be answered.

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Available for questioning:

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Jareth:….

Sarah: *laughing at the look on Jareth's face*

Hoggle: Hullo

Fireys: Woo!! *body parts flying*

Worm: Tea?

And any other Labyrinth dwellers I have forgotten to mention here.

Also if you have any requests for me to invite please share and I will bring them in.


	2. Glitter and Junk

Disclaimer: Don't make me say it…please?

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BreathOfNocte

oh! -rubs hands together- this looks promising.  
alright, then. Jareth, my dear - where EXACTLY does all the glitter originate from?

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Rose- You know, I've kinda wondered about that myself.

Jareth- It's not glitter. It's the physical manifestation of my ultimate and supreme power!

Rose- *raised eyebrow* Sure… You don't think it may be just cause you like it? I mean, look at your pants.

Jareth- *silence*

Rose-It's not very royal to pout Jareth.

Jareth- I'm not pouting…

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Charm Shadow

(saluting Rose Of The Combat Boots) Nice! Can you haul in the Junk Lady? I want to ask her this: Do you realize that all that junk is really tacky, gaudy, unsanitary, and can really f&%#k up your back?

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Rose- *saluting back*

Junk Lady- Look at all these nice things!

Rose- Yes..um..the question?

Junk Lady- Hm? Question? Junk! This isn't junk, it's mine! All my nice things!

Rose-…yeah…sorry Charm…guess her hunch has affected her brain as well…

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Wow! I'm so happy to be able to post this so soon after the first chapter!

*Love!*

--Rose (of the Combat Boots) 


	3. More questions

Disclaimer: Yeah…yeah…

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Charm Shadow

(Glaring at Junk Lady) Hmm. It appears that I must ask another question, since she is being uncooperative.  
Second inquiry: How much did Jareth pay you to attempt to stop Sarah from reclaiming her brother? Would all that junk have stayed on her back for the rest of her life if you hadn't failed?

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Junk Lady- Of course she would keep all her nice things! Stupid girl…doesn't know how nice her things are…*fuming*

Sarah- Okay…

Jareth- For your information, I didn't pay her anything at all. She was more than happy to serve her king.

Rose- Mhmm… You sure you didn't just threaten her?

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CoffeeKris

So very many questions...

Goblin who is used as a cannonball: What is your employee benefit package like? Do you get decent health care and risk pay? If not I suggest you start a Union with your fellow goblins who are used as cannonballs.

Jareth: What is the average air speed velocity of an unladen swallow (European, not African)? Also, would you be so kind as to cease sending your goblins to torment my manager? I know I wished for it but the little buggers set our department on fire.

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Goblin- Benefit package? What's that? Health low and risk high. Union?

Jareth- *grinding teeth, slapping crop menacingly* Don't give them ideas…

Rose- When did you get that crop in here?

Jareth- Magic. And to answer the question, the average cruising airspeed velocity of an unladen European Swallow is roughly ******11 meters per second**, or ******24 miles an hour**. And no I will not stop my goblins. What's said is said. As for your department on fire, invest in a fire extinguisher.

Rose- Harsh.

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AkUrO HaChIrObEi

Jareth, I do not wish to hurt your chances with Sarah or whatever... but how many times have you been rejected by a girl, including Sarah?  
Don't worry, Jare, I'm still a fan of you and Sarah, and a fan of you. Hehe!

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Jareth- *looks insulted* I have never been turned down except by my dear Sarah.

Sarah- *sour look* I'm not your dear anything.

Jareth- I will capture your heart.

Rose- Okay let's stop right here. Nobody needs to end up in the Labyrinth.

Jareth- But Rose..

Rose- Seriously. Later.

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DethRose

To the garbage lady: Did you know you have a dead chicken hanging over your shoulder?

To Jareth: May I please touch your hair?

To Reginald the Worm: Sorry but I named you. How long does it take you to get from one place to your little home?

To Hoggle: I hate you.

Okay I'm done!

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Junk Lady- Wah! Clucky!

Jareth- Erm. No.

Worm- Reginald? Alright then.. It takes me a long time unless I ask a pixie for a lift. They're nothing like the fairies even though they look the same. They're much nicer.

Hoggle- *tears*

Rose- Harsh: The Sequel

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I'm definitely loving all the questions I'm getting!! Keep it up guys and if you want anyone else brought into this as well just let me know!

*Love!*

--Rose


	4. Trouser Obsession

I'm so excited about all the marvelous reviews and questions I've been getting! I love you all!!

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CoffeeKris

(slips goblin who is used as a cannonball a copy of "Idiots Guide to Unions")

Sarah: I notice that the "You have no power of me" lines you spoke to His Royal Tightpants over there occur in the middle of your copy of the book 'Labyrinth'. Did you ever get around to reading the end of the book after your adventure?

Jareth: Ever considered the fact that such tight tights is certain to have a detrimental effect on the production of an heir on your part? Also, as for your suggestion to invest in a fire extinguisher, the entire elevator shorted out! But since what's said is said, I'll merely say this: I wish the Goblin King would come and clean my apartment right now!

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Jareth: *holding back laughter* Jokes on you Kris. The goblins can't read.

Sarah: *rolls eyes* Honestly I was not too interested in the ending after actually GOING to the Labyrinth.

Jareth: *scoffs* Fae reproduction is entirely more efficient than any human pair. One time is plenty to produce an heir.

Sarah: *shudders* Glad I didn't get sucked up in that.

Rose: Wow…

Jareth: *realizes wish was made* Wait, what? No! *vanishes with a look of anguish*

Rose: Best. Wish. Ever!!

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Charm Shadow

(Sweeping hat off head and making an elaborate bow to the authoress) Good evening, as you see i'm back and i've got questions! Bwah-mawah-ha ha!

Wisemans Hat: Do you ever get tired of being on the same old guy all the time?

Jareth: Do you have something against shorter people? Did you know that you can be sued for neglect and abuse to your subjects? And do you secrectly wish that they all had ** envy? Is that why you Super-sock-stuff your Super tight-tights?

Sarah: (smiling brightly) Did you ever worry about what a glitter drenched, make-up wearing, tight stuffing, looks thirtyish-but-is-probaly-a-thousand-years-old man would do with a poor baby boy? WE-l-l-l-l-l-l?

Hoggle: (boinks him on the head with the fairy spray) WHY THE HELL DID YOU SPRAY the FAIRY'S! THE ARE JUST MEAN CAUSE THEY Were MAD THAT A DISGRACE TO DWARF KIND KEPT INGNORING THE PLEAS OF RACHEL CARSON!

Ludo: (Hugs him) Did you know that orange and fluffy is the killer combination?

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Rose: Wonderful to see you again Charm!

Wiseman's Hat: Oy you'd think this guy would be awake more with all the sleep he gets but all he does is the shnooz-a-la. I wish I had legs!

Jareth: Of course I have nothing against shorter people. Sarah, my one and only love, is shorter than me isn't she? I cannot be sued because there are no lawyers in the underground. And there is no one but that would even know what a lawyer is. What envy? I DO NOT STUFF MY TROUSERS!!

Sarah and Rose: *giggling madly in the background*

Sarah: *confused look* *realization* Jareth!

Jareth: *hands up in denial* No! He was to be my heir! How dare you accuse me of something like that!

Rose: Well… Jareth…. You kinda do look the part it's sad to say…

Jareth: *fuming* Don't try me…

Rose: Okay, backing off…

Hoggle: Rachel Carson…?

Ludo: Ludo like hugs.

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GoblinQueenSarah

i like this story/interview. ok, my questions.

Jareth: Can i borrow your shirt? pretty please? Also, how old are you?

Sarah: WHY DID YOU TURN JARETH DOWN?! you could have asked him to take Toby home and stayed with Jare!

Hoggle: what is with all the Jewelry?

WiseMan: do you think Jareth and Sarah should be together?

Bird on Wiseman's Head: What is the Wiseman's deepest darkest secret?

Didymus: How long have you guarded the bridge in the Bog?

Ludo: How did you learn to call rocks?  
sorry, but i am a curious obsessed fan girl.

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Jareth: No. My shirts are tailored especially for me. And my age is far larger than any human mind can comprehend.

Sarah: Wow. So you're a fae pedophile.

Jareth: *turning red* No!

Sarah: I turned him down because I do not love him and I never will. And Toby needs me at home.

Hoggle: I like shiny things.

Rose: Yay! Someone who doesn't hate Hoggle! :)

Wiseman: *waking up in the middle of a snore* The heart and the head are two different things. One should never think about love.

Rose: Okay.. So is that a yes or no?...Oh crap. Too late. He fell asleep again.

Bird on Wiseman's Head: He's bald as a babe.

Didymus: Ever since I can remember, my lady.

Ludo: Rocks friends.

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DethRose

To Jareth: That's alright. What do you think of Root Beer? What is the real reason of why you wear such tight trousers?

To Reginald: You are my second favorite character. Anyway... Who knited your scarf?

To Ludo: May I have a hug?

To Hoggle: I hate you even more...Seriously.

Done.

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Jareth: Root beer is interesting to give to goblins. The carbonation confuses them. And it seems that when they burp they believe they are dying. *laughs* *hears question about his pants and gets angry* Why are you all so interested in my wardrobe! This is the normal wear of fae royalty!

Reginald the Worm: Thank you kindly miss. The missus knitted it for me. Quite nice doncha think?

Ludo: Ludo hug friend. *Hugs DethRose*

Rose: Aw…

Hoggle: Oh my heart… So much hate…

Rose: Poor Hoggle. *hugs him* No love for Hoggle hm?

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The Duchess

Ello loves! This one goes out to Jareth and the Worm (Reginald?):  
Boxers or briefs? Or neither? Or both? Just tell me!  
And to the Fireys:  
Will you all please jump off a cliff and die?

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Jareth: What are boxers? And what are briefs for that matter?

Worm: I'm a worm luv. No need for either.

Fireys: OO! A CLIFF! LET'S GO TO THAT CLIFF!! YEAH LET'S GO! *jumps off cliff, body parts fly everywhere*

Rose: Oh dear Jesus….

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Gabriella the Deranged

To Hoggle:  
Did you know that the Fairy Mafia is secretly plotting your death?

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Hoggle: Wait…what?

Jareth: *sighs* Don't fret yourself Higgle. The fairies are not smart enough to create a mafia.

Rose: Oy vey…

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Well that's the end of this one! Thanks so much for reading!

*Love*

--Rose


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Labyrinth, Humor, Parody