Last Ship 1. Tom & Rachel

A/N: This is one of the stories that I started ages ago but am going back through with the aim of finishing and posting what I can. It's probably going to be a four-partner, mostly done. I'm actually a little in love with how this fic is turning out so far, but of course everyone one knows what a big fan of drama I am. ;-)

I do really hope you guys like it too. :-)

Disclaimer: Last Ship not mine…

Warnings: Definite adult themes…

LSLSLS

Chapter 1: Tom &amp; Rachel

"Well you know what? If the thought of getting me pregnant was such a terrible one. You know what you should of considered bloody well doing?! …Not having sex with me!" Rachel yelled angrily, the terrible argument over as far as she was concerned.

There was nothing more to say. She had to escape his cabin before she cried, before he saw the evidence of her heart actually breaking. That could never happen. What was wrong with her? She had never given a man this much power before, the power to break her…

And the first one she ever had, had bloody well used it! Unbelievable!

"Rachel, that is not what I meant!" Tom watched her throwing her clothing back on hurriedly. The dire turn their conversation had taken meaning it wasn't the right time to enjoy the first unrestricted view of her body he had gotten, one unfettered by either clothing or the dim lighting of last night's activities.

"I'm leaving now, you don't have to worry, it's unlikely anyway and I will make sure there are no _disastrous repercussions_…**for you**!" She yelled the last with finality after she had succeeded to pulling the last piece of her clothing on.

"Rachel, please, wait!"

It was too late, she ran out and the door slammed shut behind her…

And he was _naked_.

Great.

Tom thought about it and decided it wasn't like going after her immediately was the greatest of ideas anyway. She clearly needed some time to herself to calm down.

No, going after her straight away was not the best idea for_ numerous_ reasons. Firstly, she would be long gone by the time he could get decent. And secondly and most importantly, he _really_ didn't want to have this showdown on the p-way of his busy battleship in front of all his people.

Not that having the entirety if his crew all witness their ships Captain and savior of the human race scientist having a morning after/birth control argument wouldn't be entertaining to all and sundry…_bar the two of them, of course_…but he really wanted to keep _just a little more_ privacy in their new relationship then_ that_.

The time would come…probably sooner rather than later…when he would want and need them to make themselves known as an official couple, but he wanted to have a little private time for just them before all eyes were on their every move.

Yes, he would give her a little time to cool down and then he would find her and fix this. He just couldn't understand why she had jumped to such an outrageous conclusion to start with!

Obviously their professional relationship had had a rather strained and sometimes-volatile quality to it in the beginning, but he had really thought that they had moved past that.

More recently, especially on their off duty moments, he had been making a concerted effort to treat her, not only as a woman he vastly respected, but also held romantic interest in.

He had been deliberately trying to train their relationship to a more romantic place…and he had thought he has achieved that quite well last night, when she had allowed herself to be seduced by him and they had made love for long hours into the night.

He smiled at the memory of those sensual hours between his sheets…hours spent learning and pleasuring each other's bodies…before the harsh reality of his current difficulties had raised their head.

Looking back he could admit that he had expressed his thoughts poorly just now, but he had not expected her to jump to such an insane conclusion either. He would find her soon and he would fix this.

Meanwhile he considered that, as much as he might want to exist in the blissful solitude that they had last night for a little while longer, now knowing that Rachel seemed heavily inclined towards believing herself to be _not the type_ of woman a man would want to marry and have children with…he might need to act in a more definitive way to _prove_ to her otherwise. Ahead of his earlier planned schedule that is.

Keeping their relationship a secret, despite the clear short-term advantages, would not help his cause long term. It was much sooner than he had anticipated…he thought he would continue to court her for a few months _after_ their relationship became an romantic _and_ intimate one…as it had last night.

He had thought that should be enough time for her, if the had done his job right, to believe him to be a good choice for a more permanent relationship…and despite her wild pontifications…one that included having more children together…if that was what she wanted of course. And her reaction would seem to indicate that she did. He can only assume that was what getting so offended over her mistaken assumption that he was stringently against such an eventuality meant.

Quite to the contrary of Rachel's incorrect assumption and shockingly volcanic overreaction, he was very much open to the idea of her bearing his child and definitely to the more permanent relationship with her that such an welcome prospect could only mean for them as a couple. He would admit it wasn't like he had a burning need to be a father…quite simply because he already was one. But the thought of _his child_ inside Rachel…the thought of adding a baby they had made together to their joined family…both were extremely pleasing ideas to him. But they were not the be all and end all of their relationship…they were potentially _very_ pleasant additions. But without so much as the possibility of them…he would still want Rachel.

_Absolutely_.

That brought him to consider Rachel's feelings on the subject. They had not discussed it…_at least not successfully_…it had been what he was trying to get to this morning…_obviously too late._

Ignoring his admittedly terrible self expression, and her _unbelievable overreaction_…what he would have said if the conversation had proceeded a little more calmly, was that he was not opposed to an earlier than expected welcome consequence of their love and love making.

He had just brought it up then because he had really wanted to make sure she was ok with that too…as he had never before failed to protect a woman from such consequences…at least unless he had previously discussed at length that she was fine with them.

Of course, there had only been one woman he had ever deliberately tried to get pregnant, his wife, and she had…twice.

The thought caused a short but sharp sting to his heart. It always did to think of her. But it was lessening as the months went on. And he had come to a point where he was confident that he was in fact ready to take these steps and move on.

There's no way he ever would have gone looking for love again so soon after losing his beloved wife and mother of his children in such a horrific way. Not for years. Perhaps never… But when the unquestionably precious jewel of a love rarely ever found and fulfilled, had been placed right at his feet, after much soul searching he had come to the conclusion that he knew he would have been a fool to pass it up. Let alone for the sole reason of imperfect timing.

He didn't profess to know everything. Not even close. But _some things_ he knew absolutely.

He knew the dearth of the kind of all encompassing unselfish love that he felt infusing his being right now.

He knew the sad transience of life on this earth. Something that had become all the more painfully evident to all in the last terrible year…

And he knew with unflinching faith the kindness of his late wife's spirit.

He did not believe that she would be displeased by the personal decisions or actions he had taken of late, far from it. For his and their children's sake, he fervently believed she would welcome Rachel and everything she represented and could do and be for the family she had left behind.

No he did not regret the decision to allow himself to move on with Rachel. Not in the least. He did not even regret what they had done and been to each other last night…he never could. Of course, it was now abundantly clear that he should have kept a damn lid on his passions until well and truly_ after_ he had had this mornings spectacularly failed discussion with her.

He really could understand why she was mad, **_if _**he really had been saying what**_ she_** had thought he had been was saying…

He could understand why she would be**_very_** offended and angry about the way he had acted…**_if in fact it were true_****!** As it was, he was more than a little bit offended that she would think he would do something like that. Have sex, that he knew was completely unprotected, with her and then tell her in the morning that he didn't want any consequences coming from their night together.

Yep, that's what she thought he'd done.

In his defense, even without actually having the conversation, he had _thought _they were a hell of a lot closer to being on the same page. At the very least he had _thought_ he knew two things absolutely…

One, they were both fully aware of the virtually nonexistent birth control situation on this ship...and the frankly, the world. I mean she was a doctor for crying out loud!

And two, after a period of romantic courting, they had both freely and eagerly consented to make love, with neither of them broaching the issue of _attempting_ to avoid such an occurrence.

He had thought the math on that worked out fairly plainly…they were both ok with the idea that a baby could result from their passion…and love.

He loved her…and until an hour ago, he had believed that the feeling existed _mutually_ between them. But it hadn't been spoken aloud, he admitted sadly, by either of them…

Still, he had thought…

Tom shook himself. He could still have been right about all that. He didn't know how much of her anger this morning had been about a_ possibly_ belated realization that he could have gotten her pregnant _or_ if it had entirely been about her mistaken belief that he was _not_ ok with that possibility.

He heavily suspected and hoped for the latter…

Of course, it was obvious now that he should have forced the conversation to happen before any intimacy…of the type that could result in pregnancy at least…could take place, but hindsight was always twenty-twenty.

But he was confident he could fix this, he would just give her some time to cool down first. Frankly, he thought the time might not be a bad idea for him either. In fact the more he thought about it, the more he realized he really was more than a little upset with her himself for jumping to such a negative belief of him as a man.

About something so fundamental to whom he was as a man too.

His treatment of women had always been honorable, especially any woman that was his…and she was.

And she should know that.

TBC

Next Up: Jed &amp; Rachel

_Sneak Peak:_

_"__Jed, I just wanted to say that I have really enjoyed our time together."_

_Damn. Whatever he'd done, his sonny boy had screwed up royally this time._

_"__Rachel, why do I now feel like you're breaking up with me too?" _

LSLSLS

A/N: Please review, even a few words means a lot. :-)


	2. Jed & Rachel

A/N: How's that! Less than 24 hours and an update. See? I can behave myself _sometimes_… ;-P Thank you so much for the lovely reviews! :-D

Hooked: You hit the nail on the head! I had hoped I had dropped enough hints about Rachel's own insecurities to 1) explain why she was having such a extreme reaction and 2) that it was indeed partly her fault too. And that line about her never having put such trust in a man before was exactly what I was trying to put that message into. So glad you picked it up exactly as I had laid it down. :-)

LSLSLS

Chapter 2: Jed &amp; Rachel

When you were an official member of the team that kept a Navy battleship running, there was a lot to do, a lot to keep you very very busy. When you _weren't_ a member of that team, there _really _wasn't anything much to do at all.

Jed had found himself making regular visits to a certain helo bay, come makeshift lab, on a pretty much daily basis since he had been proclaimed well enough to leave medical.

It wasn't just that he kind of hero-worshipped the woman inside. He did…_absolutely_, for saving him, for saving his grandchildren… And hell!…every single person on earth that survived this disaster would do so in no small part because of_ her_.

There was sure a lot to look up to, to respect and to admire, but it wasn't just that that kept him enthralled.

She was genuinely fantastic company. He knew some people might say she was a little cold, a little distant, someone who only cared about her work…not that he could see how anyone could really fault her for that in the current world climate. But it wasn't true anyway.

She was deeply committed, felt deeply the responsibility to fix the current crisis…as least as much as was possible at this far gone stage…but she cared about a whole lot more…cared deeply, cared so much it was just too painful to wear her heart on her sleeve. So she kept it hidden, only those smart enough…like him…to give her the time, patience and encouragement to allow her to become comfortable with them, ever really saw the real woman underneath the cool reserved armor.

Yes, if people bothered to get to know her properly, bothered to give her the time to get to know them…they'd see what he did. And he saw a warm, generous and loving woman...one who 'cold' was the farthest description of.

Not that she hadn't been warm with him from the very beginning, Jed thought who his son was had given him quite a leg up in the game of trust. But there was still that element of reserve that hadn't dissipated until he had put in the time to prove to her that he was someone she could trust.

With their relationship being on such warm and friendly footing of late, he was used to being greeted with said warmth whenever he entered her lab…even when he knew he was disturbing her work.

That wasn't the case this morning, not only did she not look like she was working, he didn't get his warm welcoming hug either. He didn't actually get any acknowledgment to his presence at all actually, even though he knew she couldn't have missed his entrance.

"Rachel?" He queried as he moved closer. She was sat at her desk just staring at a small vial of dark liquid. Her attention barely waivered from her study of the vial, even when she finally did acknowledge his presence.

"Jed! Hi..." She gazed up at him briefly, offering him a small smile of greeting that she knew did not reach her eyes. But still deeply distracted by the vial that sat before her, her gaze shifted back to it.

"Rachel, what's that?"

Rachel sighed, she didn't want to get Tom's father involved in this. Didn't want to get anyone involved actually. It was all too humiliating…_and_ _heartbreaking._

But she didn't want to lie to him either. Maybe he could be placated with the barest bones of truth…with no real context or other facts to become enlightened by.

"An improvised hormonal tonic." She answered calmly.

"You're going to drink it?" He far too intuitively deduced.

"Yes." She sighed, admitted he truth in a soft tone, her gaze still unwavering...and sad.

"What will it do?" She easily read the clear confusion and increasing worry in his question.

"Well, first off, it will most likely make me pretty sick…" She equivocated.

"Then why the hell are you going to drink it?" He questioned quickly, his tone rising to something closer to anger.

Rachel sighed. She really should have thought better of any plan that involved putting off a Chandler when they were set on something. Still, she really didn't want to get him involved, it just wouldn't be fair to…

She gave a sigh, but it was not, as yet, a defeated one. She squared her shoulders in a small attempt to start to regain control of the situation she had actually lost the moment she had failed to lock the door to her lab.

"It really doesn't matter, Jed…you don't need to concern yourself with this." She protested…lamely, and most probably completely futilely.

"Too late, I'm already concerned. More than that, I think I'm involved."

Yep. Futile.

"But you're not…" She immediately protested. _That _was the truth…

"Is my son involved?" He interrupted.

Silence…a guilty look…an unintentional, but utterly clear, confirmation.

"Then I'm involved too, that's what family is. Now, what did my idiot son do and what does it have to do with whatever that foul concoction is?"

"He's not an idiot, Jed." Rachel spoke quietly, still feeling the need to defend Tom.

"Not usually, no, but the current circumstances we find ourselves in clearly indicate that he still has his moments. So I repeat. What. Did. He. Do?" The man was as stubborn as his son…and _her_ for that matter. They made quite the trio to all be the same damn family…or so she had stupidly believed had been the reality that was in their very near future…

"He did nothing wrong, Jed…except maybe wait to precisely the wrong moment to let his true feelings be known!" Ok, she had _not_ meant to blurt that out.

Rachel supposed she was still angry and hurt about what Tom had said…and she had had precisely no previous opportunity to vent that anger and hurt. And she was _so_ hurt by what he had done… Though she still couldn't shake the notion that she was the true idiot for ever believing he would feel any other way.

"Ok, so far this explanation is as clear as mud, Sweetie." Jed stated patiently.

Rachel considered the man before her…she liked him…a lot. In some ways he was so similar to his son, in others ways do different. But every point, whether it be one of similarity or disparity, endeared him to her.

Obviously her feelings for him were completely and utterly platonic…but they were still love…she had let herself love him in such a relatively short time…and his grandchildren….and his son. Stupid.

She had only allowed it to happen because she had really believed it was safe…she had thought that these people would be her new family.

She had really thought that she was going to come out of the apocalypse that stolen everyone's family from them, with more people that could love her than she had ever had to begin with.

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

She was going to have to take quite a few steps back, she knew now. And that included from Tom's children. Her heart ached at the prospect. She silently cursed herself. She was usually smarter than this. But that didn't change what she knew she had to do now…none of it.

"We had sex last night." Rachel admitted softy. She was leaning forward, towards her desk, not looking at him. _Definitely_ not looking at him…

"Frist time?" Jed's tone indicated no surprise at all, to what she would have thought might have been a rather potentially turbulent revelation.

"Yeah." She confirmed quietly. Shamefully…

"Gotta admit, I'm a little surprised—"

"You mean disappointed." She predicted with sadness.

"Not at all! I mean surprised…that he kept his hand off you for this long!"

That just confused her, she wasn't at all convinced... "Yeah well, either way it won't be happening again…"

"Why not?" Jed's features, when she glanced at them, showed seemingly genuine confusion before he proceeded.

"Now Rachel, I promise my son is not the type of man to neglect a woman in _any way_…if his performance was in any way…_disappointing…_ I can assure you it will only have been because it would have been a long time for him…he was staying loyal to his wife for 6 months after he last saw her and then for another 6 months while he was mourning her… Surely that loyalty isn't a bad quality in a man, and surely it earns him just a little leeway in other departments…just temporarily…I promise if you give him another chance…"

Rachel, coming out of her shock at the topic Tom's father **_had_****_actually_****_brought up!_**, finally managed to start forming words again.

"Jed! Jed! Stop! Oh my god, **_Please stop!_**_…_That was not what I was alluding to…_at all_! He did not '_disappoint me'_…at least not in that way..." Oh, could this conversation even get more uncomfortable…or rather **_mortifying_**?

"Then why are you saying it's over when it looks to me like you have barley even begun?" He seemed genuinely confused.

Bless him…

But oh how to explain it, well, she had gone this far…

"Jed, I'm really not even sure this is something I have the right to be discussing with you, or anybody for that matter…given my misinterpretation of our…domestic situation, but suffice it to say this; it became clear this morning that our…_expectations _of the relationship are very different…completely incompatible actually." She finished, hoping against hope that it would be enough for the man, that he would read her discomfort and desire to bring the whole unfortunate misadventure to a close and not pry further…

"How so?"

Yeah, of course… She knew that was nothing but wishful thinking on her part…and she knew he wasn't going to let go of this now.

Damn, she _really_ should have locked that damn door…

"Well…one of us was stupid enough to begin thinking of families and happy endings…and the other one only wants _absolutely no strings_ sex…pretty incompatible, wouldn't you agree?" Distain laced her tone, but it was really only herself that she was truly disgusted with.

Jed, bless him, seemed entirely confused by the explanation of the fine mess she had made for herself.

"You're going to have to help me out here, honey. Who do you think is who here? Because I would have sworn that the 'thinking of families and happy endings' described both of you. Who is it that wants this no strings business…is it you?"

"No, Jed, it's not me…" She laughed humorlessly at the notion.

"You mean Tom?! That's impossible!"

And he did seem genuinely shocked at the notion. Rachel smiles despite herself. The darling man. Well, he had said it himself during the more embarrassing part of this very conversation. He had not raised his son like that… or rather he thought he hadn't.

"It's unfortunately not…" Poor man really didn't see it. She couldn't exactly blame him. She hadn't either before this morning. And all parents wanted to think the best of their children, no matter what their age.

"Honey, honey, you've got the wrong end of the stick here…I promise you, Tom loves you! He wants you! And I mean for a hell of a lot more than just sex. I would bet money on a proposal being _at most_ a few months away. He wants that family you mentioned with you! I _know _he does. I don't believe he ever would have pursed you to start with if he didn't…especially under the current more than slightly challenging circumstances; your mission, living on a battleship and everything else. I'm absolutely sure of it! "

A bitter laugh filled her. "Don't worry Jed, you aren't the only one who let themselves think such things…but we were both wrong…it was utter naïve optimism on my side. Don't know how it happened actually. I'm not exactly a 'glass half full' kind of person generally. I don't know, maybe neither of us were that wrong. Maybe Tom did have the notion of more to start with and decided against it… I mean, that's what dating is isn't it? Deciding if you're compatible, if you want the other person long term…maybe he decided he didn't…I can't honestly say I'm surprised…" And she really couldn't, what surprised her in hindsight was her uncharacteristic ability to see the contrary.

"Now stop it Rachel, what you're saying, quite simply, is utter nonsense!" Jed really seemed to be getting agitated at this point. It was actually kind of nice. At least she had not been wrong about him. It seemed he _had _been thinking of her as his soon to be daughter in law and it seemed like it was a position he had coveted for her, as much she had herself. It warmed her heart to know that she had not been completely wrong, and that she had truly been wanted by at least one member of the Chandler clan.

No, that wasn't true, Rachel was _sure_ she had seen real love shine in her direction from the two younger Chandlers as well. Yes, she knew she had and she knew it had been mirrored by the look in her own gaze in those beautiful moments.

It was just the father she had been_ oh so _wrong about. And unfortunately he was a pretty damn important piece of the puzzle that meant that their families could join and become the one she had thought they were already starting to be. A completely crucial piece actually…and it was a piece that she had apparently never really had…or a piece she had had and lost without even realizing it. Rachel really wasn't sure which was worse…

"I wish it were, Jed…" She gave the man she had_ almost_ come to think of as a father the saddest of smiles.

"Rachel, Tom want's a family, a partner, a mother for his children…maybe even more children…"

"Yeah, I don't doubt it…with woman he deems worthy clearly. I shouldn't be surprised at the large perceived disparity between those worthy of a shag and those worthy of having a man's children. But anyway, he made it pretty clear I fit into the first category." She spoke the last on a humorous laugh. It was the best option. Rachel knew that if even her sad smile faded it would give way to tears.

It was laugh or cry, and Rachel chose to laugh…at least until she was alone.

"That's horseshit!" Jed practically spluttered at her.

He was _so very_ adamant…

But Tom had said what he had said. The real evidence could not be ignored. It was far more tangible and infinitely more trustable then hollowness of misplaced hopes and dreams.

"He is entitled to his opinion, Jed. I can't justly be angry with him for simply being honest, I just wish he'd shared his thoughts earlier…" She was fast losing her patience…and hollow humor…with this conversation. It was too painful, too pointless… And she _really_ didn't want the dear to her older man to see her in the state she knew she would soon be in when the heavy tears she was barely holding back finally fell.

"No, I mean there is no way that is his opinion! Rachel, my son worships you! Whatever happened between you was clearly just a misunderstanding…and probably largely his fault too, sometimes he doesn't express himself well in personal situations. And you're not the first either; Darien could have told you that. But if you just give him another chance I'm sure you can work this out…I know he wants to be with you…"

"He was _with me_, Jed, **_intimately_**! And then this morning he made it clear that any _consequences_ occurring _with me_ would _not_ be welcome…hence this." She indicated the dark liquid in the vial before her.

It took Jed a moment to comprehend her words. "Wait…that's what this is? So you don't get pregnant?" He queried, eyes wide…seemingly pained in realization.

"It is." She answered simply, her gaze glued to the small vial in her hand.

"And it's going to make you sick?" Disgust was clear in the man's tone.

"It's a likely side effect, Jed, but don't worry, it might be unpleasant but it's not at all life threatening." She reassured the agitated older man. She should never have said anything. She had only caused him to worry needlessly.

"Well I'm glad but that's not what I was worried about…Rachel, do _you _want to take this?"

"It doesn't matter." Rachel stated firmly. She could not afford to ask herself that question. The answer was infinitely too painful.

"Yes it does! Your opinion is basically the only one that matters right now!"

Jed was yelling now. Rachel, had never seen him so worked up. She attempted to ease his burden.

"I appreciate you saying that, Jed, but I have to do what I feel is right here. And I know I can't force this possibility on him…not now knowing he is so very against—." She tried to explain but he cut her off.

"But you wouldn't be, Rachel! He isn't! I can promise you!" The older man implored.

Rachel gave him a sad smile. "Again, that's nice of you to say, lovely even…but unfortunately all evidence is to the contrary, Jed…."

Jed watched her consider the vial in her hands, he would prefer it if she was actually considering his _words_. He hoped that she was, but…

"Jed, I just wanted to say that I have really enjoyed our time together."

Didn't seem like she bought a word of them… Damn. Whatever he'd done, his sonny boy had screwed up royally this time.

"Rachel, why do I now feel like you're breaking up with me too?" And he'd damn well bet that his son didn't realize that he had already been broken up with…if he did the idiot would be down here right now trying to fix his epic fuck up…

"Jed…it's not what I would prefer, of course it isn't! I've enjoyed getting to know you and spending time with you immensely. And it's not like this is goodbye forever right now. Of curse not, but it's simply not realistic to think that Tom and I can re-separate out lives and that my relationships with you and the children…can remain unchanged." Jed didn't miss her voice break on the word 'children'. It seemed she was starting to lose the battle she had clearly been fighting against her tears. He watched as she pulled herself together again and continued.

"It is just not realistic to think that things can go on as they have been. I don't like it, but stepping away from Tom, means stepping away from you and the children too to a certain extent. You are all _his _family, not mine. I should never have allowed myself to entertain any notions to the contrary…especially so soon." She seemed fixed on chiding herself on recent events instead of trying to fix what he was sure was not even broke…except in her mind.

"And what about the children, they love you! They _need _you!" He argued somewhat desperately.

"That's nice of you to say, I know they enjoyed us spending time together… I did too. I really did." For a second she looks deeply nostalgic, before returning to the present with a firm shake of her head. "We just all have to hope that it is early enough days that they can get used to my absence again with minimal interruption to your family life."

"Rachel, this is just ridiculous! What you are saying is ridiculous!" Jed could see that nothing was getting through to her. He had the strong urge to physically shake her.

"Jed, I am not saying I am going to ignore you all in the hall when we pass each other, far from it. But obviously spending so much of what would be family leisure time together anymore is completely inappropriate under the circumstances." She spoke with such finality…such certainty.

Jed was silent for a long time. Part of him wanted to scream at her, but another part saw the abject despondency and resignation she was exuding from every pore in her body and saw the utter pointlessness of it. He had to fix this another way.

She was still holding that damn vial…

"Rachel, this argument you seem to have had with Tom, it was very recent. And that stuff in your hand, I bet you don't need to take it _right now._ I bet you have a little time before you would have to, am I right?" He tried another tact…

"Well, yes, but…" She stammered. He interrupted.

"Then give it a little time, hey? Do that for me…please?" He was shamelessly begging right now, he knew that but to him it was a small price to pay if it bought him his desire result. Or at least time for his desired result to occur, which of course was his darling boy fixing this shit.

He watched her watch him. She was displeased with his request, that was clear, but she was considering it nonetheless.

"Jed, there is no point…" She tried to argue.

"But it wouldn't hurt, right? The wait, you could give it a little time, take the stuff tomorrow if you still wanted too, it wouldn't change anything?"

"That's just it, Jed! No, it wouldn't change anything! So there is no point waiting…" She argued with him.

"But there's no point in _not_ waiting either, is there? So you could do it, couldn't you? For me?" He knew he was pleading now. And the look on her face made it clear she was not happy about his use of what he was sure she considered a very dirty tactic.

When he was sure she was simply going to ignore his plea, she gave him something. A small nod, that was all and then she looked away, as if dismissing him.

Well, it wasn't perfect but it looked like it was the best he was going to get.

Saying not another word, afraid to lose the tenuous thread of acceptance she had given his plea, he hightailed it out of there.

It was no secret who he was off looking for.

His idiot of a son.

TBC

Sneak Peak:

_"__So, mind telling me why Rachel is convinced you had sex with her and then dumped her?"_

_Tom groaned at his Father's opening words. Clearly he had beaten him to talking with Rachel this morning. "We had a misunderstanding, Dad." To put it mildly…_

_"__Oh, don't worry, Tom, I got that much. What I also clearly see is that you have absolutely no idea how bad that misunderstanding is…."_

LSLSLS

A/N: Love to hear from you! :-D


	3. Jed & Tom

A/N: Thank you so much to all my wonderful reviewers. You all know I try to always respond where possible but I'd like to say a special thank you here to my guest reviewers. I'm truly very happy that your are all enjoying this story so much. :-)

Chapter 3: Jed &amp; Tom

Jed _finally _found his son in the wardroom, eating breakfast_ far_ too casually.

Thankfully they were alone, so there was no need to beat around the bush. He could lay it all out.

Time was of the essence after all.

"So, mind telling me why Rachel is convinced you had sex with her and then dumped her?"

Tom groaned at his Father's opening words. Clearly he had beaten him to talking with Rachel this morning. "We had a misunderstanding, Dad." _To put it mildly…_

"Oh, don't worry, Tom, I got that much. What I also clearly see is that you have _absolutely no idea_ how bad that misunderstanding is."

"And why do you say that?" He at least had the idiot's attention now.

Jed answered plainly, as if the answer was the most obvious thing in the world. "Because you aren't on your hands and knees right now begging her to take you back."

Tom was not liking his Dad's attitude about this, or the fact that he was getting himself involved _at all_. It was_ their_ business, his and Rachel's, and nobody else's…no yet. The time would come when, as a family, the other member's of said family would have the right to butt in to each other's lives and problems. But right now he and Rachel were so new, he needed her to be just his right now, especially while they worked out these…_teething issues._

Finally, he answered his Father, but in a tone that made it clear it was his final word on the subject…_to him anyway_.

"I am giving her some time to cool off. I'm on my way to talk with her next, we will straighten this out, the two of us. _No one else_." He said the last firmly, broaching no argument.

It didn't work.

"Well, Tommy ole boy, congratulations, that plan did _not _work out well for you…"

"Why? What do you mean? What happened? Where is she?" Ok, now he was getting worried…and annoyed. His Dad was not getting the 'stay out of it' message and he was also taunting him with apparently important but withheld information.

Ok_, finally_, Jed thought. _Got your attention now sonny boy._ He decided to lay it all out, now that he was finally sure his son was going to give the information he was providing the gravity it deserved.

"Well, if you're lucky and still in time, she will be in her lab. If you're very _unlucky_ and even more of an idiot than I suspect already, she will have ignored my plea for her to wait and will probably be in her quarters by now… busy making herself as sick as a dog, so as to eliminate so much as the possibility that **_you _**could suffer the **_terrible consequence_** of getting her pregnant. Or so she is absolutely convinced."

Jed watched the utter shock resonate on his sons face at his words. He really hadn't had any idea how bad this was…

"I don't know what you did, Tom, but you really screwed the pooch royally this time."

_Finally_ the stillness of shock wore off, and the sudden movement of urgently required action took its place.

"Shit! Dad, I gotta go."

"Yeah that's probably a good idea…" Jed responded with mock casualness. "I'll tell them not to be expecting you around anytime soon. Oh, by the way, you should also probably be aware that she is of the firm opinion that whatever happened between the two of you this morning was a breakup. And a pretty bad one apparently, bad enough that she felt the need to break up with me and the children too."

"Shit. Shit. Shit!" Tom was getting flustered now, his always in control, Navy Commander son. It would have been damn amusing if it wasn't so damn serious. But it really was serious and Jed couldn't help some of his anger at his son over the situation he had_ somehow_ dug himself into coming out in his next words.

"What the hell did you say to her, Tom? You slept with her for crying out loud! I know that isn't a small step for you, especially after Darien. And I know you must be thinking towards making the relationship a more permanent one to have even taken that step. So can you _please_ explain to me, how the hell do the more appropriate conversation topics of 'will you marry me?' or 'will you have my children?' turn into 'make the hell sure you**_don't_** get pregnant?!" He finished on a note of utter confusion and disbelief that his son had managed to screw this up so badly.

"I didn't say that, Dad! And I don't have time to explain how the hell this happened either, even if I knew! And I'm not even completely damn well sure that I do!"

"Well you better hurry then…I asked her to wait before she took that vial of nasty stuff she'd concocted but I'm not completely convinced she will, she didn't seem to think this was going to go down any other way…"

"Damn it! Look, Dad, I've got to…" He trailed off, gesturing to the door, his look pleading now.

Jed stepped aside, and as soon as he did, he watched the form of his son disappear through the opening in a heartbeat. He heard him set a face pace down the corridor and then he was gone.

Jed sighed, he had done all he could for now. The next steps were firmly in the hands of these utterly hapless new lovers. Who_ both_ apparently had their _significant issues_ when it came to relationships. Yes, he had been angry at Tom, and he was utterly sure the fool had said something stupid to set Rachel on this terrible believe path.

But having spoken with Rachel, he could clearly see there was damage on that side too. She had been so very unwilling to listen, to consider his words. It was like once activated, the reasonable adult could not so easily reassert herself from the control of the women who was protecting the scared and damaged child that had taken whatever Tom's foolish words had been, and been promptly crushed by them.

Ironically, the only person who had a chance of talking that girl down now, was Tom. His clearly unconsidered words had got him into this mess, he could only hope that some far more considered and honest ones could get him out of it.

Jed just hoped he found her in her still in lab, that she _hadn't _gone ahead and drunk that terrible looking stuff.

It wouldn't be the end of the world if she had.

But it would mean the emotional mess his son had to clean up, would be _a whole lot _bigger…

TBC

Sneak Peak:

_Of course every member of his crew knew exactly whose door this was…and the fact that he had just been caught harassing it in an agitated manner… _

_Yes, he had definitely just fed the rumor mill another juicy piece of gossip to keep it churning along…not that it tended to need any help in that department. _

_But he couldn't think about that now. The stakes were__** far**__ too high to worry about such petty things…_

LSLSLS

A/N: One or two chapter's left I think, I haven't really decided. It all depends on how umm…*cough*… _in depth_ I decide to write their _eventual _make up scene. ;-) As always, love hearing from you guys. :-)


	4. Tom

A/N: Apologies for the delay in posting this. Firstly, this story is completely fighting me from its original soon-to-be-tied-up-in-a-neat-little-bow plan, and has thus insisted on getting longer. So that 4-5 chapters prediction is completely out the window at this stage. I should really learn not to plan anything. It's merely the result of the illusion that I actually have any control over what I write…

Secondly, I don't know how many of you noticed but the 'behind the scenes' part of the was actually down for nearly a day, just came back online recently. So for those of you who hadn't noticed and just thought everyone had spontaneously gotten lazy all at the same exact moment, they actually hadn't. ;-) There was a real reason for the radio silence, though theories on it range from a power outage in LA to someone spilling a can of coke on a server. ;-)

Chapter 4: Tom

Tom was feeling desolate right now. He had_ not_ found her in her lab. A strange occurrence at any time of day, but a dreaded one given his Father's last words to him.

He had of course made haste to the second location that had been mentioned, and the one he was most likely to find her.

Question was, what else would he find?

Tom could not believe things had gotten this bad, especially this fast or this easily. He simply couldn't believe that she would do this, think this of him. Her words from earlier rang in his mind.

_'__I will make sure you don't suffer the terrible consequence…'_

He had heard the words but they had not resonated until now. She really truly believed that he had slept with her…_made love to her_…for the first time and then basically ordered her to make sure their love and passion did not result in the likely foreseeable result that he had thought they were both ok with.

A big assumption in hindsight but still not one he was convinced he was incorrect on, even in that hindsight. They were both smart people, while they had not discussed the birth control situation specifically in regards to their own as yet _not quite_ intimate situation, they had discussed it in more general medical terms as part of their respective roles and a medical officer and a Captain.

Rachel's droll comment at the time had been that while the lack of available birth control, a situation likely to extend worldwide now, was unfortunate and she did not relish the step backwards for womankind. It was not actually a negative in the bigger picture sense.

Their world was now drastically _under _populated, a **massive** change from only a year before. Children were needed to carry on the legacy of humankind on earth to the next generation and onwards…and as many as possible. Birth control was an adverse to that ultimate goal. The picture from a _purely_ scientific, population and survival of the species point of view, was as simple as that…

So neither of them were in any position to pretend ignorance of the facts at hand, and Rachel had been the one advocating increased reproduction, conveniently timed or not... Again, purely based on the science of their precarious population situation and nothing more, not specifically in regards to the two of them obviously. But nothing had been said that would make him believe she thought their situation separate from that of the rest of the population either…

The facts as he now saw them left him as confused as all hell. He knew exactly what he was now dealing with, he was just entirely unsure how it had happened to start with, how he was going to undo it and how he was going to make damn sure they finally got on the same damn page so that it wouldn't happen again.

But right now his biggest worry was how big the problem he needed to fix had grown. Was it still a hurtful misunderstanding, but one without further actions to condemn it and him. Or one where action had already been taken. Action that could not be erased, either the physical or the emotional fallout from it.

Tom slowed his pace as he reached her door. He really needed to give himself a moment to catch his breath and gather his thoughts…but unfortunately, he did not have the luxury of the time either would take.

Still panting slightly, a harried look on his features, he knocked on the door.

Silence was all that met his entreaty.

Moments more and more silence with them.

He knocked again, an infinitely harsher rapping of knuckles on steel this time. It earned him a questioning look from a passing crewmember. The look the man was giving him obviously asking if there was some emergency they needed to take action for. He disavowed the crewmember of the notion with a simple wave of his hand and slight shake of his head.

The man in question then made quick haste away from him, at a much faster speed than he had originally been travelling towards him. Clearly he had very astutely gathering that if his urgent manner was not one relating to official business…then it related to something of a far more personal nature. And the man knew exactly who he had that urgent personal business with too.

Of course every member of his crew knew exactly whose door this was…and the fact that he had just been caught harassing it in an agitated manner…

Yes, he had definitely just fed the rumor mill another juicy piece of gossip to keep it churning along…not that it tended to need any help in that department.

But he couldn't think about that now. The stakes were far too high to worry about such petty things. Right now, he had to think about where the hell else Rachel could be if she wasn't in her lab or in her cabin…

Unless she deliberately wasn't answering him? She wouldn't do that to him, would she? Things weren't that bad between them…or were they? As he remembered his Father's words, he realized they very much could be.

Tom took a step closer to her door, glancing both left and right down a thankfully now empty corridor. Of course, any of the nearby cabins could be occupied, despite the time of day. But there was nothing he could do about that. He spoke up regardless.

"Rachel, please. If you're in there please answer me, please open the door. We need to talk, you know we do." He spoke imploringly as loudly as he dared, while still trying to maintain some privacy for both of them in this very private matter.

He waited but only silence met his pleas. He signed, but tried again. Hoping he wasn't talking to an empty cabin and wasting valuable timing in finding her if she really had found some other place to hide…_from him._

"Rachel, I spoke to my Dad. I knew I screwed up this morning, and I know how badly now. I didn't think before I spoke, and I made you believe something terrible. But it wasn't true, it isn't true! Rachel, if you would just open the door we can fix this, I know we can. It_ isn't_ too late" _Oh, please don't let it be too late…_

Still only harsh silence met the very uncharacteristic semi public airing of his personal feelings and angst. Suddenly he had a terrifying thought. Was if she was in the room but _couldn't_ answer him.

His Dad had said she was planning on making herself sick somehow in order to accomplish the ends she believed him in favor of. What if that is exactly what had happened, only worse than she had anticipated? A cold shiver of dread ran through his every nerve at the thought. The very idea that she had thought the action necessary to start with, and the terrifying notion that she could be harmed by it…and thus by him.

That was it. He was not going to be leaving this door until it was opened, by whomever was the fastest at the task. Rachel, if she was indeed inside, conscious and listening to him make a fool of himself out on the p-way, or the crewman he was about to call to get the damn thing open for him.

He was just going for his radio to give said order when something made him stop. A sound…faint, but definitely there and coming from the other side of Rachel's cabin door.

_Thank God. _He sent the silent prayer.

She was in there, and she was conscious, maybe he really wasn't too late…

"Rachel?" He called more gently, now knowing that she was there and had to be listening to him.

"Rachel, please open the door and let me in." Again, the Captain of a ship begging to be let in to a female's cabin was more than a little unseemly, but right now he couldn't give a rat's ass. He was just happy that he had found her and it seemed she may be ok.

Another long moment passed and his worry rose again, this was taking too long. Just when he was about to call out again, his last step before again turning to his reserve option and radioing for assistance, a louder sound was heard.

With a sign of relief he gratefully recognized it as the sound of the locking mechanism unlatching. A mere moment later the door_ finally_ swung open…and he was met with the very welcome sight of the woman of his ardent search standing in the now open space.

His gratefulness at finally laying eyes on her again, after a time that his panic had caused to seem an eternity, knew no bounds…at first.

A split second and his smile fell.

He looked closer, took all of her in. She was leaning on the doorframe…_far_ to heavily…and unsteadily. Her eyes were red, dazed and unfocused… Her skin was too pale and a sheen of sweat coating her brow…

_No…_

"Rachel?" He questioned as he moved to take her into his arms. He wanted to hold her of course, but right now it also seemed like he _needed_ to. She was swaying on her feet. Just as his arms finally encompassed her, he felt her weight give way against him, his body all that was holding up hers.

"_Tom…?" _She mumbled more than spoke, her lips barley parting…the same could be said for her eyelids…something was definitely wrong.

And with a heavy sigh of realization he feared he knew exactly what.

_He __**was**__ too late…_

TBC

_Sneak Peak:_

_"__I'm a Doctor for heaven's sake! If I had wanted to kill myself I would be dead! It's as simple as that! The notion that I could fail so spectacularly at such a simple endeavor is utterly offensive, even hypothetically!"_

LSLSLS

A/N: Yeah… like I said, I wasn't kidding about this story fighting me. Still have the same endgame in mind. It's just that my muse is steadfastly refusing to take a remotely straight path to that end…

Thank you everyone for the reviews/PM's/follows/favs. It is always so great to receive them. Again, please let me know what you think, even if in this instance, you just want to voice your frustration to my muse for dragging out your/our torture some more… ;-)


	5. Sleeping Beauty

A/N: Ok, so I have to apologize; obviously I was not planning on dragging this out _nearly_ this long (I hope that's obvious?) I just got totally stuck in writers block (not even sure I'm totally out of it now…) and not just on this either, but I did_ eventually_ find my way back…as I still plan to do with others.

This update comes with an update to all the chapters I have posted thus far. Nothing has really changed so you don't need to re-read anything (Except maybe to remember what the hell's going on to start with!) But I did make and few small edits and expanded things in a few places. Made the word count jump by about 1,000 words in total, Just F.Y.I…

P.S: SEASON FINAL DAY! I'm soooo nervous…

Warnings: Mild references to suicide.

Chapter 5: Sleeping Beauty

LSLSLS

Tom clutched his lover's much smaller form to him as she slumped against him, not actually have fallen unconscious or seeming to be in any physical pain as he had so greatly feared, but still something was very much '_off_' about her current state.

"Rachel?" He questioned softly, anxiously… She was only wearing what he assumed were her sleep clothes. He didn't know for sure, they had never _premeditatedly_ gone to bed together…another mistake on his part.

She was clad in thin shorts and singlet, one that was clearly sans a bra, and neither was hiding very much at all. He forced himself to focus on the potentially seriousness of her present state and not on her state of undress. His deep concern made it easy but he was nonetheless reminded that the new exploratory intimacy of last night had been based on touch more than sight. Not to mention the whole situation reminded him that it had also been far more based on physical exploration than it had ben the emotional sharing of souls that it should have also been...by means of actual words!

Tom didn't get any response at first, then he watched as she slowly lifted her head and sluggishly her gaze moved to meet his…at which point she gave him a small wan smile.

He hadn't expected even that.

Well, he supposed it was a good thing that she apparently wasn't _currently_ seething mad at him like earlier this morning…but he would have been more comforted if there were more of_ Rachel_ behind that smile instead of the exhausted blankness that appeared to be have taken her usually fiery place.

It was as if he had woken her from an extremely deep sleep, which was confusing not only because of the time of day, but because he had gotten quite used to her seeming not to need sleep at all!

Seriously, he had actually started to take it for granted. Since the very start of this crisis…and he knew she had been hard at work for months before he had even known a damn thing about it…it didn't matter what time of day he either dropped in on her in the lab or 'summoned' her to him…something he now felt bad about.

She had never been his subordinate but he knew in hindsight that in his anger at the secrets she had had no choice in keeping, he had very much treated her as one.

But it hadn't ever seemed to matter. Either midnight or midday, if he suddenly felt the urge to have her at his immediate attention, she was there. Awake, alert…and usually ready and able to give him a good run for his money.

Even last night…well, to start with neither of them had even attempted to stop their _more pleasurable_ activities to waste time on something as unimportant as sleep. But even in the early hours when exhaustion had most definitely started to claim him, he had dropped off to his slumber slowly enough to notice that she was not doing the same.

He had actually had the thought that he _really_ would have thought he had tired her out… But instead he had drifted off to the feel of her tracing lazy patterns on his bare chest and humming softly and soothingly to either herself or him, he hadn't been sure.

She had seemed relaxed and content enough, and he had taken pride in that, but she had not seemed sleepy at all. He probably would have ruminated longer on the strangeness of that if he hadn't been so damn done in himself.

Now at exactly the worst possible time for both his heart a few non-grey hairs, she was acting like _sleeping freaking beauty_!

Tom was still not entirely convinced that he wasn't seeing the result of what he had rushed here to prevent, but nor was her present state what he would have expected from whatever the 'concoction' his father had described was. This didn't seem like sick…this seemed more like asleep, or pretty close to it, as uncharacteristic as the state was on her.

Still somewhat frantic from his earlier race to find her and confirm her wellbeing, something he was still increasingly concerned for, holding the near dead weight of her lithe body to him, he frantically glanced around the tiny space of her stateroom for clues to explain her present condition.

He felt his heart nearly fall from his chest in cold dread when his eyes landed on what had to be the drug filled vial his father had mentioned. It was sitting on the side of her small vanity just beside her bed…

But it was full.

_Thank god._

Relief flooded him when he saw that the small vial had its cap firmly still in place and its dark foreboding contents was plainly evident through the clear glass.

Tom's relief did not last long when he glanced back at his love's barely present features. She was awake but barley…probably only as a product of the fact that he had very insistently woken her up and was now holding her…with only limited success, to her feet. In truth he was holding basically all her weight up himself.

So what they hell was wrong with her then?

Looking at her eyes closer, barely open and drooping, as they were he could clearly see they were red and bloodshot. She had been crying. He had done that to her…

The regret and sorrow were like knifes to his gut. Still, sadness alone didn't seem to explain her current condition, unless she had taken everything that had happened **_far_** worse than he had already identified…and that almost didn't even seem possible!

Sparing another frantic glance around the room, he considered, not for the first time if he should shut the door to her cabin. The instinct for privacy in their current highly inappropriate circumstance was strong, but he quickly decided against it. Tom still hadn't completely made the decision that he wasn't going to immediately lift Rachel the rest of the way off the ground and haul her ass to medical so that Rios could tell him what the hell was going on and most of all that she would be ok!

Tom's eyes fell on the vial again. This didn't make any sense… it was full! He had made it in time, this shouldn't be happening…unless…unless she had prepared _more than one_.

With new frightening purpose he set to the task of searching every inch of the room he visually could in his present less capacitated state acting as Rachel's whole body crutch.

At first he saw nothing out of the ordinary, nothing that explained anything he needed answers to…then _he did_.

Laying on its side and partially hidden behind a washcloth on the small vanity he spied a small white bottle. Clutching Rachel to him, an easy enough task given her slight stature, he took them over to the small vanity and the potentially offending item.

Grabbing the object of his newly forming suspicions, He shook it and confirmed his initial theory that it was some kind of pills…and there wasn't many left in it! Glancing at the label he swore as he recognized the pharmaceutical name for a strong sleep aid that he had once been prescribed after a particularly bad injury…though it was not something he would ever consider taking while on active duty at sea!

Again Tom swore as he glanced down at the woman who appeared not to be aware of him or his extreme agitation at their current situation…in fact, it looked like she was damn well dozing off again. Problem was he had no way of knowing for sure if that's _all_ it was.

Sure, she hadn't _completely_ emptied the bottle but neither could he be sure how many she had taken…and he was positive now that she had taken some.

Tom swore under his breath. He knew the damn things were strong and she had taken them when she was upset…_because_ she was upset? He had no way of knowing if she hadn't doubled, tripled or_ worse_ her recommended dose…she was so small and he had never seen her like this…

She had been upset.

**_Very _**upset.

With **_him_**…

And then she had taken sleeping tablets…

What if she really had tried too…?

Because of **_him_**…

She _couldn't _have…

She _wouldn't _have…

Would she?

_God!_ Tom swore again. It didn't even matter at this point. He just simply couldn't take the chance. Not with _her._ There was simply no way. She was too valuable. To the ship, to their mission, to the world…and most of all, as selfish as it may be_, to him!_

She could yell at him again later, whether he was wrong about this or not, that was fine with him. As long as it was after Rios had told him that she was going to be ok…

Oh, please let Rios tell him she as going to be ok!

The decision made, Tom pocketed the offending bottle and lifted Rachel into his arms, forced himself to ignore her meagerly clothed state, or more accurately that other people…_other men_…who were about to see her in said state…

Sternly reprimanding his traitorous brain for such irrelevant concerns in the face of what could be his beloved in true danger…danger that she had put herself in…_because of him_… He made is way out of her cabin, down the P-way and set a fast clip towards medical, Rios, hopefully safety and _definitely_ answers.

Damn did he need answers right now, and if it wasn't too much to ask, the opportunity later on to clear up a few rather large misunderstandings between them too.

But first thing was first. And first, after establishing his beloved's welfare of course, he was going to have a pointed conversation with his ships doctor. He had _not_ missed the name of the prescribing doctor on those damn pills that were now burning a hole in his pocket.

As serious as the situation potentially was, these were all manageable thoughts that actually calmed him. Problems he felt he could face and fix given the opportunity…

However, there was one prospect he honestly didn't know how to confront, and certainly not how to fix… He didn't even want to give conscious though to his fear, thus making the prospect even more real than his traitorous mind was already taunting him with.

What if she had?

What if she had overdosed?

**_Deliberately?_**

He refused to consider for even a single second that reality combined with the hideous thought that it was already too late…but the thought was very much there…and with that his fast clip turned into a run.

But that reality alone, even temporarily fixable, would mean their and her problem was _such much_ _bigger_ than he had ever envisaged…

_Surely he couldn't have read the signs so very wrong? _

She had seemed happy! Or as happy as one could be in a dying world they felt responsible for saving… But most of all she was stubborn…oh, so stubborn! Surely those things didn't…couldn't…possible add up to someone who would try to end it so suddenly?

Surely not…

Right?

TBC

Sneak Peak:

_Naturally the ships Captain swiftly carrying the seemingly unconscious and barely clothed resident savior of the human race scientist through the bowels of his battleship did not go unnoticed…Of course it damn well didn't! _

_He'd even caught a few smirks before one look at his face of steel and they had basically run from his path. It was seemingly like his men running from him was going to be the theme for the day…_

A/N: Reviews are excellent medicine for a recovering muse…. ;-)


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Last Ship, Angst, Drama