DC Elseworlds No More Excuses

Note: This story takes place roughly six years after the end of the final official Zoo Crew adventure. Naturally, since every character mentioned in this story is copyrighted by Warner Communications (with the possible exceptions of Brainicat, Ducksied, Dogspero, Sheep-pestro [a sheep version of Sinestro], the Elephantom Stranger and Adam Stench [a skunk version of Adam Strange] and even them I'm not too sure about [and even if they aren't, they are admittedly inspired by characters who ARE]), I'm naturally writing this story purely for entertainment purposes. This, even though being set more than three years after the end of "Under the Mistletoe" is sort of a companion piece to that story. Anybody who reads this story and/or Under the Mistletoe can E-mail me at comickook@yahoo.com (I'm using a different E-mail adress, but, by my own admission, I'm too lazy to change it from is posted on my member ID) and tell me what they think of this and/or the other story.  
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Earth-C-Minus, Just'a Lotta Animals Satellite headquarters, February 14, 1992:  
  
Except for two members, the entire mighty membership of the Just'a Lotta Animals has already left the satellite following their most recent and possibly most epic battle yet.   
  
It seems that Lex Lemur and Brainicat snuck on to Adam Stench's adopted world and released all of the villains from the Elephantom Zone while they were still one that world. To make matters worse, Ducksied had assembled Sheep-Pestro, Dogspero, Feline Faust, the Shaggy Dog and Amazoo into an invasion force to attack Earth-C-Minus. The team had to divide into two groups to handle both emergencies and it took the combined efforts of the entire team, PLUS Adam Stench and the Elephantom Stranger to handle both crises. Even then, it was a rough battle all around, forcing all involved heroes to push their abilities and courage almost beyond their limits.  
  
Wonder Wabbit, however, was the most exhausted of all, not that this surprised Super-Squirrel in the slightest. The Lapine Amazon has been pushing herself EXTRA hard in battle for the past three years, ESPECIALLY when it got close to Valentine's Day.   
  
It has been close to five years since Captain Carrot had officially left her for Alley-Kat-Abra and, for the most part, Wonder Wabbit was able to carry on quite nicely at first (even getting briefly involved with Hoppy the Marvel Bunny [though that relationship ended in less than a year]). The final straw, however, was on Valentine's Day in 1989, when Rodney (Captain Carrot) Rabbit and Felina (Alley-Kat-Abra) Furr ended up getting married. This absolutely killed any hope the Amazon rabbit might have subconsciously held of getting back together with the heroic hare from Earth-C and made her feel so inferior that she felt she had to re-prove herself as a proper heroine.  
  
Super-Squirrel had voiced his concerns for his teammate (who was also the object of his unrequited affections for many years) many times over the past three years, but the she-rabbit absolutely refused to listen. Well, this time, the Squirrel of Steel was going to MAKE her listen, even if he had to tie her down with her own lasso to do it (get your minds out of the gutter; this does not go beyond PG).  
  
Gently placing his left paw down on Wonder Wabbit's shoulder, Super-Squirrel then applied just enough pressure to hold her down without it being enough to risk hurting her. At this moment, Super-Squirrel was half-glad that Wonder Wabbit was even exhausted than he was because, otherwise, she would simply flip him off before he could do what he deemed he had to. Grabbing Wonder Wabbit's lasso at super-speed with his free paw, the Chiptonian Champion, while still holding the mighty she-rabbit down, zoomed around her (still at super-speed) tying her up with her own lasso of truth/complience. After he finished tying her up, Super-Squirrel then tied some of the enchanted rope around his own right wrist.  
  
"I am very sorry to do this to you Diana, but I have to make absolutely certain you'll listen to me when I say you been working yourself too hard. I can't afford to have any more excuses as to why you won't speak to me. Now, please, tell me the absolute truth about why you seem so bound and determined to work yourself into an early grave." Super-Squirrel began in a geniunely concerned tone, being as gentle as he could be.  
  
Wonder Wabbit, unable to keep the truth from coming out, started answering "I know you are worried, Super-Squirrel. In fact, I know you HAVE BEEN worried for years. However, I can't help myself. Everytime I stop to rest, I end up thinking of HIM. Blast it, it's THEIR third wedding anniversary. I know I should be mature enough to accept that long distance relationships rarely work out and, let's be honest, you don't get much more long distant than seperate universes. I really AM happy for them, Super-Squirrel, but it's impossible for me to let go of the feelings I still have for him. Even my failed relationship with Hoppy was just because Hoppy, in some ways, reminded me a little of Rodney. I can't get Rodney off my mind except in combat situations. That's why I push myself as hard as I do. Well, that and the fact I couldn't endure such heartbreak a THIRD time. I don't like facing the fact that I have been developing similar feelings for you that I still have for Rodney, because I know your affections would be divided between me and Lois Lynx."  
  
Super-Squirrel, under the influence of the lasso himself, responded truthfully "Well, no need to worry on that regard, Diana. My attraction to Lois absolutely pales in comparison to my feelings for you. If forced, once and for all between the two of you, I'd pick YOU anytime. In addition to being one of the most attractive females I have ever known, you are also one of the very few animals who can come close to equalling me on the battlefield. Furthermore, you also have one of the most courageous and compassionate hearts I have ever known. That's why it hurts me so much to see you hurting this badly. In short, Diana, while I LIKE Lois, I LOVE you, with all of my heart and then some, as I will ALWAYS continue to."  
  
Smiling as Super-Squirrel untied her and himself, Wonder Wabbit looked lovingly at the Squirrel of Steel, wrapped her arms firmly around his neck and gave him a deep, romantic kiss.  
  
Soon after Wonder Wabbit broke off the kiss, Super-Squirrel wrapped his own arms around her and gave her a deep kiss of his own. With that, we turn away from the Just'a Lotta Animals satellite.  
  
The End  
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Once more, all the characters in this story are either copyrighted by Warner Communications or inspired by characters who are. Thus, I had absolutely no profit motive with this story. 


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DC Elseworlds, Angst, Romance