Harry Potter Talking Teddy Lupin

Teddy Lupin wearing rumpled band shirts beneath unbuttoned checked shirts with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows

"Teddy! Hurry up and get ready! You have to be on the train for 11 o'clock and it's already 10!" Harry called up the stairs.

"Coming Uncle Harry!" Teddy called back down, rolling his eyes in a way only a fifteen year old would.

Teddy slid down the banisters of 12 Grimauld Place with ease and landed perfectly on his feet, a rare occurrence indeed.

"Do you want me to carry your trunk to the station, Teddy?" James asked eagerly.

"Sure, if you want." Teddy smirked, ruffling his god brother's hair affectionately.

"Mum! Teddy's wearing the rude shirt again!" Albus moaned.

"It's not rude, Al. The Sex Pistols were an awesome muggle band when my dad was my age. I like their music." Teddy grumbled.

"Leave him alone Albie. Teddy can wear whatever he likes." Lily huffed.

"I knew I kept you around for a reason." Teddy chuckled giving his god sister a quick hug.

"Morning Teddy, dear. Is that check shirt new?" Ginny smiled as she passed him a piece of toast.

"Thanks, Gin. Gran bought it for me." Teddy grinned as he flopped into a chair and swung his feet onto the table.

"Feet OFF the table, Edward." Harry muttered, coming into the room and cuffing the back off his head jokingly. "Rocking the tee and check shirt look now are we?"

"Gee Uncle Harry; I thought you were far too old to keep up with fashion!" Teddy gasped dramatically.

"Shut it Ted." Harry laughed, pretending to throw a cup of pumpkin juice at him.

Teddy Lupin with a moon tattoo on his neck that changes with the lunar cycle

"Edward Remus Lupin!" Andromeda Tonks shouted her scolding tone clear in her voice.

"Yes, Granny dear?" Teddy replied, smiling sweetly.

"Is that a tattoo, young man?" Andromeda demanded.

"Sure is, Gran. Do you like it?" Teddy grinned.

"Edward, what in Merlin's name possessed you to get a tattoo?" Andromeda spluttered.

"Don't you see what it is?" Teddy pouted. "It changes with the moon cycle… you know… so I'll be constantly reminded when the full is… for Dad, you know."

"Oh Teddy." Andromeda's tone softened. "It's lovely… but don't go and get anymore ink on you. You hear me, young man?"

"Yes Gran." Teddy smiled, kissing her cheek.

Teddy Lupin with blue hair that changes shade every so often

"Please Teddy! Change your hair again!" Rose begged.

"Aww! But Rosie! Can't I change something else? I only just found my favourite shade of turquoise!" Teddy moaned.

"Well, change your eyes then!" Hugo suggested.

"Sorry, Hugs. No can do. I refuse on all levels to change the eyes that are so native to my father." Teddy told him in a final tone.

"Do your funny noses, Ted!" James suggested quickly.

Obliging, Teddy then indulged the kids with a great range of beaks, snouts and general funny faces.

Teddy Lupin in old, battered converses that he can never be bothered to lace properly

"Teddy, will you please tie those laces!" Hermione pleaded in an exasperated tone.

"But Mione… my feet are all the way down there! I couldn't possibly reach them!" Teddy grinned cheekily.

"If you fall, I shall not be the one to put plasters on your knees." Hermione told the 9-year-old sternly.

"It'll be fine!" Teddy protested, running off.

~two minutes later~

"Mione! Mione!" Teddy whimpered.

"What is it Teddy? What's wrong?" Hermione cried, rushing outside.

"I… fell over." Teddy choked, revealing two cut knees.

"Oh dear. What did I tell you about those laces, young man?" Hermione sighed.

"I'm sorry! I'll listen to you next time… honest." Teddy mumbled.

"I seriously doubt that. Come on; let's get a couple plasters for your poor knees." Hermione relented.

Teddy Lupin who trips over his own feet and always seems to end up on his arse in front of people he finds attractive

"Hey Teddy!" Victorie called

Teddy spun around too fast at the sound of his crush's voice and fell head over heels and straight onto his backside.

"Oh Teddy!" Victorie gasped. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm good." Teddy mumbled sheepishly, jumping to his feet and blushing furiously. "So.. Erm… how may I be of your assistance, Vic?"

"I was just wondering… well, its Hogsmead tomorrow and… well you might already have a date…" Victorie stammered.

"I don't!" Teddy near shouted. "Would… would you like to go with… me?"

"Yeah!" Victorie agreed, flashing Teddy one of her stunning smiles.

As she turned the corner, Teddy seriously contemplated a victory dance, but then decided not to embarrass himself further.

Teddy Lupin getting into trouble for painting flash murals in public

It was Halloween at Hogwarts, and Teddy had just finished perfecting his magic mural of Marauders Moony, Padfoot and Prongs. It was, without a doubt, one of his best pieces yet.

He had set it to flash on a different wall in the great hall every hour. With a flick of his wand the flashing mural's sequence began.

"Mr Lupin!" Headmistress McGonagall shouted over the gasping voices of the breakfasting students.

"Yes, Professor?" Teddy called back sweetly.

"Is this your work?" She demanded.

"Naturally, Professor." He grinned.

"20 points to Gryffindor for an artistic piece of genius." McGonagall smiled.

Teddy Lupin walking along with headphones around his neck

"Mr Lupin!" Professor Flitwick called from his desk, frowning at the only student in the class not to be working on their charm work. "Mr Lupin!"

"Hmm, Sorry, what?" Teddy mumbled, pulling his headphones from his ears and letting them hang around his neck.

"Have you been paying attention at all during today's class?" Flitwick asked.

"Of course, Sir." Teddy grinned.

"Then kindly get along with your class work." Flitwick requested.

Teddy nodded and went to replace his head phones.

"Mr Lupin!" Flitwick interrupted. "Perhaps you should leave you head phones around your neck. Then you can hear your music along with your professors."

"Yes Sir." Teddy agreed with a salute and a wink.

Flitwick shook his head fondly. 'The marauders would be so proud!'

Teddy Lupin with his hands stuck deep in his pockets

"Teddy, kindly remove your hands from your pockets. There is no one here who is in need of reassurance of your coolness." Andromeda smiled.

"Aww Gran!" Teddy grumbled.

"You must have something pretty important in those pockets of yours for you to keep your hands pressed so tightly around them." Andromeda muttered.

When Teddy makes no reply she grumbles, "Turn out your pockets, Lupin. I'm curious."

With much moaning, Teddy revealed his shrunken sketchbook and pencil in one hand and a small bottle of champagne and fudge in his other.

"I thought you'd be more willing to let me sketch you if I brought some bribes." Teddy chuckled, handing the champagne and fudge to his Gran.

"Very well, what back drop pleases Mr Picasso?" Andromeda laughed.

"The windmill, with the lake to the left." Teddy decided. "Wait Gran! You have to wear this!" he added, pulling a necklace from his breast pocket.

"Where did you find my pearls?" Andromeda gasped.

"Now that would be telling." Teddy winked.

Teddy Lupin in skinny jeans which hang low on his hips

"Teddy, pull your jeans up!" Harry groaned as his godson strutted in wearing his favourite skinnys with the top of his Calvin Klein's showing.

"Aww Uncle Harry! You know I flash my pants just for your entertainment." Teddy joked.

"Honestly!" Harry muttered. "Why you even bother wearing that belt is beyond me."

"It's a chain, Uncle. It's an accessory. It's cool." Teddy explained.

"Aren't accessories girly hair bows and stuff?" Harry asked.

"I give up with you, Sir. You are just too far gone into your old man ways to be helped!" Teddy sighed.

"Hey! Enough of your cheek young man!" Harry complained, smacking Teddy's arm playfully.

"Right, well, I'm going out." Teddy told him.

"Well pull your trousers up on your way!" Harry called after him

Teddy Lupin who acts really punk but still sleeps with a light on and drinks hot milk and does all the washing up

"Teddy has to be the coolest kid ever!" Hugo sighed, looking admirably at his big cousin.

"You think he's cool? Punk? A gangster?" Albus snickered.

"Hate to break it to you mate, but Teddy still has a night light." James laughed.

"And he drinks hot milk with me before bed." Lily beamed.

"And I was talking to his Gran; she says he always does the washing up for her."

"Well, I don't care!" Hugo said stubbornly. "I still think he's the best!"

Teddy smiled slightly and vowed to slip Hugo a chocolate frog or two during the next few days.

Teddy Lupin with a satchel covered in muggle and wizard badges

"Hey Teddy!" James called waving furiously from platform 9 and 3/4.'s.

"Hey there Jamie." Teddy greeted, ruffling his hair.

"Dad's engaged in a conversation on the other side with some muggle." James explained.

"Ok, we'd better go and save him then." Teddy joked.

"Say, Teddy, what are those badges on your satchel?" James asked, having not seen them when Teddy came home at Christmas.

"Oh, well, this one's Anarchy in the UK, a muggle band, so this one, The Sex Pistols. This one's a wizard band, The Weird Sisters. And this one's a Gryffindor badge, that one has a snitch on it and that last one a muggle smiley face

Teddy Lupin with four piercings

"Teddy! Are those earrings!" Lily gasped jumping onto her god brother's lap to get a better look.

"Sure are, Lil!" Teddy told her proudly, bending his head slightly to show her his four piercings going from the top of his cartilage down to his lobe.

"But… Mummy wears earrings. Their girly things!" Lily told him, confused.

"Not these earrings. They're for boys. See this one is a skull, this one is a black stud, and these two are black rings." Teddy explained.

"Wow! When I'm as old as you, can I have earrings like yours?" Lily asked him excitedly.

"Maybe, Lily flower. We'll have to see what your Mummy and Daddy say when it gets closer to the time." Teddy reasoned.

"Will James and Al get earing like yours? Why doesn't Daddy have those earrings?" Lily questioned.

"It's up to your brothers if they want their ears pierced or not, your dad doesn't choose to wear earrings, but he could get his ear pierced if he wanted to." Teddy chuckled.

"I'm going to go and get Daddy to get his ears done!" Lily announced.

"Good Luck!" Teddy called after her.

Teddy Lupin who is taller than his grandmother and always ruffles her hair

"Now Gran am I still getting taller, or are you just getting smaller?" Teddy teased.

"I most certainly am not shrinking, you cheeky thing! It's not fault of mine that you have your Dad's height!" Andromeda protested.

"Aww! Ickle Grannykins is getting little!" Teddy cooed, ruffling his Gran's hair.

Andromeda swatted her Grandson away.

"If you don't pack it in, you won't be having any of my freshly baked cookies, young man!" Andromeda scolded.

"Now, Now, little Gran, you know you can't keep the cookies from me, if I can simply reach over the top of you and steal them." Teddy grinned.

"Don't get too cocky, Teddy. With your new height, we'll have to go clothes shopping for you." Andromeda smirked.

"Oh woe is me!" Teddy groaned stalking out of the living room.

Teddy Lupin with corded muscle and v lines

"Well I never!" Harry exclaimed at 17-year-old hopped off the train and onto the platform. "Quidditch playing off then, Ted?"

"Like hell it is!" Teddy snorted, easily wearing an acid-wash vest and shorts. "I've been getting up a 5 am to work out!"

"Well, I must say it's impressive." Harry laughed, eyeing his Godson's muscular arms and legs.

"I have to say I agree, Godfather dear." Teddy told him rather arrogantly.

"Stop showing off you tosser!" Tom shouted as he and his brother came off the train.

"You're just jealous!" Teddy called back, before picking up his trunk and strutting through the barrier.

Harry couldn't help but chuckle. All of the young muggle girls were staring as they left the station.

Teddy Lupin with stubble he never lets get too out of control

"I swear you will never get a beard, Ted." Jack snickered, teasingly slapping Teddy's bare chin.

"I have got a beard you prick!" Teddy laughed. "I just know how to shave, unlike you."

"Oh yeah? And why would you hide your manhood from your ever-loving fan girls?" Tom asked, subconsciously feeling his own scratchy chin.

"Because I don't want to look like a cave man!" Teddy chuckled.

"You are the definition of cave man, Ted." Sam snorted. "You know, sleeping till noon, eating meat only, you know."

"That's not true!" Teddy protested. "I only sleep late at weekends and I eat chocolate too!"

"Oh yeah, such a balanced diet!" Jack sniggered.

"Well, at least I don't have a Lincoln beard like you lot!" Teddy taunted.

"Tosser!" the three boys shouted as Teddy rushed out of the room to escape the stinging hexes being flung his way.

Teddy Lupin who's favourite past time is snogging Victorie

"Teddy! Will you play with me?" Lily begged.

"I can't Lil; I'm taking Victorie out to lunch." Teddy sighed, kissing his god sister's forehead.

"You only ever spend time with Vic! She's my cousin too, can't I come?" Lily whined.

"No, I can't take you. We're going on a date, not on a kiddie play time." Teddy groaned.

Lily's bottom lip quivered and Teddy wrapped his arms around the little girl.

"I promise. I will take you out for a pizza tomorrow, ok? Just me and you." Teddy vowed.

"Ok!" Lily giggled, kissing her god brother's cheek.

~3 hours later~

"We need to do this more often." Victorie purred, before kissing Teddy sweetly on the lips. "Tomorrow?"

"No, I can't, sorry. I promised I'd take Lily out for a pizza." Teddy sighed.

"I could come over later." Vic suggested.

"No, today is family day." Teddy continued.

"Ok then, better make up for that now." Victorie agreed.

Teddy was more than happy with that arrangement. Wrapping his arms around his girlfriend's waist and feeling her hands tangle through his hair.

Teddy Lupin crying at books

"Teddy? Are you ok, Kiddo?" Harry asked, entering his Godson's room and spotting Teddy curled up on a bean bag.

"Y..Yes Uncle Harry." Teddy whispered.

"Are.. Are you crying, Ted?" Harry sighed, brushing the hair from Teddy's eyes.

"It's just the book Uncle Harry. It's a sad book." Teddy murmured.

"And which book might this be?" Harry smiled.

"Bridge to Terabithia." Teddy mumbled.

Harry opened his arms and Teddy crawled into them and cuddled into his chest.

"What's it about?" Harry enquired, stroking the boy's head.

"Two friends… but she dies. And now he's lost his best friend!" Teddy whimpered.

"Well, it sounds a sad book; but it's good that you enjoy reading. Your Dad enjoyed reading too." Harry told him.

"I… I think I should like to read a happy book now though, Uncle Harry." Teddy grinned.

Teddy Lupin who gives tight hugs that last longer than they should

"You'll have such fun, Harry." Ginny promised.

"And you can come back and tell us all about it at Christmas!" James chimed in.

"We'll miss you loads." Albus told his god brother seriously.

"I don't want you to go." Lily whispered.

Teddy bent down and picked up his four-year-old god sister.

"I'll miss you Lily, but I'll write to just you every day and I'll be back before you know it. I'll even send you home a piece of special Hogwarts treacle tart!" Teddy vowed, cuddling the little girl.

"Can I sleep with your blanket?" Lily begged.

"Of course you can, and will you look after my room for me? Keep it nice and messy for me?" Teddy asked with a grin.

"I will! I will! I'll mess it up every day!" Lily assured him.

Teddy laughed and gave her one more squeeze before handing her to Ginny.

"You had better keep your nose clean, Edward. If I get one hint that you're misbehaving, I'll bring you straight home." Gran gave him a watery smile.

"I promise Gran." Teddy mumbled his face buried in Gran's chest.

Feeling safe in her warm arms he stayed there until Gran herself pulled away, tears in her eyes.

"Have fun, Ted." Harry chuckled. "And give the professors hell from me."

Teddy laughed and hugged Harry before running a hand through his hair, picking up his trunk and giving his family a nod before boarding the train and waving like mad as the express pulled out of the station.

Teddy Lupin cuddling anything within a metre range when he's asleep

James was having a nightmare. He tiptoed downstairs to see Mum and Dad had already gone to bed, heaven knows they were impossible to wake up.

Nervously, the 8-year-old crept into his big god brother's room and saw, in the light of Teddy's night light, that Teddy was clutching his ragged stuffed puppy to his chest. James knew that he'd had it since he was born and that it was one of the only things he had of his parents, therefore was special.

Not wanting to wake Teddy, just to feel safe with him, James slowly lifted the covers and crawled into the warm bed.

Subconsciously Teddy discarded his dog toy and put a protective arm around his little brother cuddling him instead.

James let out a sigh of relief and contentment and fell asleep.

Teddy Lupin losing his hands in big, woollen jumpers

"Atchooo! Atchooo! Atchooo!" Teddy sneezed.

"Oh dear, Teddy. Cold?" Harry asked.

Teddy nodded miserably sniffling.

"I have just the thing." Harry smiled.

He was back minutes later holding a mug of hot chocolate and an old woollen jumper.

He placed the mud on the table beside Teddy and pulled the jumper over the seven-year-old's head.

"This was your Dad's jumper, Teddy. He used to wear it after a full moon or whenever he felt under the weather." Harry told the little boy.

He then produced a small rather battered looking toy dog and handed it to Teddy.

"Padfoot makes everything better." Teddy grinned.

"Atchooo!"

Teddy Lupin strutting down the street in a leather jacket and skinny jeans

"Hey Gran! I'm meeting Sam, Tom and Jack in Diagon Alley!" Teddy called up the stairs.

"Ok, love. Have fun." Gran called back.

Teddy grinned and pulled his leather jacket on, over the top of his white tee and skinnys.

Closing the door behind him, Teddy through his house keys up in the air before catching them and pocketing them.

Strutting down the street, a group of muggle girls stopped talking and watched him go by with open mouths as Teddy shot the a wink before adjusting his collar and moving on.

"You bloody Tosser!" Jack snorted, slapping Teddy on the back.

"Come on, let's get you a drink!" Tom laughed pushing Teddy's hair flat.

"Shut up you two!" Teddy grumbled, messing with his hair, getting it back to perfection.

"First fire whisky's on me." Sam chuckled pushing his friends into 'The Three Broomsticks'.

Teddy Lupin with a devilish smirk on his face

"Moring Lily, dear." Teddy grinned from his seat in the Potter's kitchen.

"Err, Morning Teddy." Lily muttered, flicking her fringe back.

The Potter's and Teddy were around the table chatting over breakfast.

"So Lils how's Lysander?" Teddy asked innocently.

"Lysander Scamander? What's he got to do with Lily?" James asked, his brotherly protectiveness coming across in his voice.

"Don't you know?" Teddy snickered.

"No they don't!" 14-year-old Lily snapped.

"Don't know what?" 16-year-old Albus demanded.

"Yeah, don't know what?" Harry question leaning back in his chair, crooking his eyebrow at his daughter.

"N..Nothing." Lily stammered.

"That's not nothing, Lil." 17-year-old James exclaimed.

"Tell us, Teddy." Ginny probed, glaring at her daughter.

"They started dating last year." Teddy smirked devilishly.

"Ted! I told you not to tell anyone!" Lily shouted standing up and throwing her chair back before storming out of the kitchen.

"What?" Teddy muttered mock obliviously.


End file.

Harry Potter, Family, Humor