Tokyo Ghoul/東京喰種トーキョーグール Kaneki Ken did nothing or some things wrong

_Okay, so a friend and I decided to write a story together, taking turns to write 5 words at a time. Then we started a bit more._

_Then a sentence a time. And in the end whole paragraphs._

_Anyway, we agreed I'd edit and post it here._

_Her tumblr url is instaromnium, so check her out!_

_But enough of my blabberings, here is the incredible masterpiece we produced._

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><p>It had been a long day, the sun was blazing, and Hide could swear he could see Kaneki walking far ahead of him. He started running towards the white haired boy.<p>

He stopped dead in his tracks, shocked when he saw the purple guy he'd been stalking the past few weeks holding Kaneki's hand.

_What the hell is this?_ Hide thought, and immediately screamed in surprise. Kaneki jumped and looked behind his back.

_Holy shit! BUSTED!_ Kaneki thought. Tsukiyama looked at his boyfriend's horrified expression with curiosity and followed Kaneki's gaze.

There, he encountered a very pale Hide staring at them. Tsukiyama raised the hand he was holding. Kaneki froze, and barely felt Tsukiyama's grip tightening as he showed the other boy how much he was in control of the situation while Hide and Kaneki were staring at each other.

_Gaaay._ Tsuki thought hypocritically. _But wait: why is my orange stalker staring at Kaneki and not me? Isn't he supposed to be staring at my magnificent and **scioccante persona**?! Oh, what an outrage!_

At this point, he felt so betrayed by his orange stalker that he let go of Kaneki's hand and yelled 'What are we?!' Tsuki wasn't sure of anything anymore. Why had they been standing there for so long? Kaneki decided to finally react and hit Tsukisama in the face, then ran towards Hide who had been silent till then.

Suddenly, Touka flew over Hide and stepped between him and Kaneki. 'What are you two doing?! Baka Kaneki- And- Is that Trashyama?!' She hissed, throwing a death glare at Tsukiyama, who was approaching them 'Hold it there purple trash!' Touka yelled at him and the picture froze again.

Hide's stare alternated between the other three. 'Kaneki, why-? And who are you with?' he asked. Tsuki squealed "EVERYONE CALMATO! You! Orange! What is your affiliation with Kaneki-kun?!'

'Huh? I'm dating him!... Or so I thought.'

'Scusi, **_I_** am dating Kaneki-kun!'

'Kaneki, what the actual fuck!?' Touka yelled at the white-haired cheater.

'Kaneki out' he said, disappearing in a puff of smoke like a ninja. Except he was just running like hell. All three of his lovers started chasing him.

They reached a strange little alley with a sign: "HySy ArtMask Studio". Muffled metal music was coming from the inside and none dared opening the door.

Touka first mustered the courage to do so; inside, they found Uta working on a BDSM leather suit.'I never thought you make such things too...' Touka said to him.

A dull _thump_ was heard.

Tsukiyama had fainted.

Nobody paid him attention.

Hide, speechless and even more pale, looked around for any sign of his... _their_ missing boyfriend. (He was going to deal with the others later).

He eyed the door in the back.

'Can I help you with anything?' Uta asked, looking up at them. Something about his attitude made Hide uneasy, like he was hiding something. Or someone.

Uta turned down the music and waited for a response, patient as always.

Touka spoke first. 'Yes, have you seen Kaneki?'

'No. Why are you asking?' Uta asked, then pointed at Hide. 'And who is he?'

Hide put on an indignant smile as he answered, 'I'm Kaneki's b-'

'-best friend' Touka interrupted him and Hide glared at her.

'Oh, I see,' said Uta while standing up before either could say anything else.

Hide glared at Touka some more then stepped further inside to get a better look at the interior of the studio. The masks were intriguing, plus while inspecting them he managed to get closer to the door without looking suspicious (or at least he hoped so).

Uta shifted his attention to the still passed out Tsukiyama and asked with the most normal tone, 'You gonna eat that?'

'Eh? Hell no, I have better taste, you know?' Touka replied 'I'll leave him to you, maybe one of your customers needs a purple wig. I don't think he's edible, though.'

'I don't make wigs,' Uta said, turning to see Hide, who was oh-so-casually getting closer to the backroom.

'And what is that?' The orange guy asked, pointing at whatever Uta was working on.

'Oh, it's a gift for a friend, I don't usually do this kind of things on commission but I can make an exception.' The tattooed ghoul explained, not looking up from his work. 'You interested?' He added.

Touka grimaced at the offer and declined.

She had realised that Hide wanted to look around and was thankful Uta was keeping his attention on the weird leaether… thing.

Meanwhile, Hide reached the back door and tried to push it gently with his back. It was stuck.

Touka looked nervously from Hide to Uta, who was working without paying them any attention.

A lone moan of Kaneki's name came from Tsukiyama who still wasn't awake.

'By the way, you never answered my question, why are you looking for Kaneki-kun? And why here?' Uta inquired.

'Kaneki has a lot to explain, that's why.' Touka huffed, crossing her arms.

Hide tried the door again, this time more bravely. He just _knew_ Kaneki was there. The door opened up a bit, just enough for him to see a chair blocking it and a long narrow room with its only window left ajar.

What are you doing there?' Uta asked, turning in his chair to look at Hide.

'Sorry... I'm tired so I leant here, I didn't see the door...' Hide lied. 'I need to go now,' he said hastily, heading towards the exit. He wanted to get the hell out of there and find Kaneki once and for all.

Touka silently watched Hide navigate around Tsukiyama's body and went towards the back door, curious about what he'd found inside to make him leave in such a hurry.

'Would you mind closing that door?' Uta asked, turning back to his work. strike ('Be careful though, you don't wanna know what's in there')

'Yeah, it's no problem' Touka replied. As she reached the door she caught Kaneki's smell and tried to look inside without drawing attention, but saw nothing more than a simple storage room. She closed the door.

'I'll be going now, have to take care of some things.' Touka said as she walked towards the exit. 'Do what you want with this guy.' She added, giving Tsuki a slight kick to his ribs.

Uta just nodded as Touka exited the studio. A few minutes later Kaneki emerged from the backroom with a sly smirk.

'I see you've been busy lately,' Uta remarked.

'They caught me off guard… I see you've been busy, too' Kaneki said, the smirk on his face widening, and rested his eyes on Uta's handiwork.

'I just finished it. You'll try it on later, now you have to take care of that fellow' said Uta, pointing at the purple mess lying on the floor.

Kaneki snorted with disgust and took out his kagune. He walked closer and picked Tsukiyama with two tentacles, not caring that the man's head was hitting the floor with every step as he dragged him to the backroom. The half-ghoul threw him inside and took care of some things inside the room, then locked the door after he came back out.

As he walked back to Uta, he asked, 'Why don't we have more fun?'

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><p>Hide couldn't search for Kaneki anymore. He had looked for him everywhere and his boyfriend was nowhere to be seen.<p>

It was late, he was beyond exhausted. He finally headed to his apartment alone, while listening to "Never gonna give you up" on his mp3 player.

This wasn't over yet.

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><p><em>This is so fucking stupid,<em> Touka thought as she searched. Why wasn't her sense of smell as good as Hinami's? Why wasn't Hinami there either?! That goddamn cheater had better pray she couldn't find him or she would've made him wish he were never born.

It became dark before she finally exhausted her rage and determination.

Somehow it just didn't cross her mind to check Uta's studio again.

When Touka finally went home, she realised just how hurt she was from Kaneki's betrayal.

Hide and Tsukiyama, too? Was he also with Uta? She snorted angrily.

Unable to go to sleep, she instead took a long, hot shower, letting the water wash away her thoughts.

She was going to get to the bottom of this.

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><p>As Tsukiyama came back to his senses, he felt strange. Everything was dark, only a dim light squeezing through the keyhole.<p>

'Ah, dolore! Why does my heart hurt so much?' Tsukiyama asked himself quietly. He squinted, trying to make out any of his surroundings. At least he didn't seem to be tied up…

The ghoul approached the keyhole to look outside and heard muffled voices.

_'..does it fit well?_' an unknown voice said.

'Yeah, it does. You know it would, I don't know why you're asking.' Tsukiyama held his breath; he knew that voice, it was Kaneki's.

'I'll be waiting in the main room. Don't take long, (you know what happened last time).' said the first voice.

_What the fuck? _The question filled Tsukiyama's thoughts with question marks. He heard footsteps and a door closing, then more footsteps and he saw a slender figure donned in black make itself comfortable on a chair facing away from him.

He didn't recognise the person at first, but then he remembered that it was the ghoul he had met earlier, the one with weird haircut and tattoos everywhere. A few minutes later someone else entered the room. The smell of Kaneki and fresh leather filled Tsukiyama's nostrils and he craved to open the door, but it didn't budge. He also couldn't seem to make his kagune come out.

All he could do was stand there in the dark, trying to get a better view on whatever scene was unfolding before him.

He couldn't believe his eyes, _Kaneki? No... that can't be you..._

His ~'_boyfriend_'~ was wearing God-knew-what and to make things even worse he sat on top of the other man, facing wherever Tsukiyama was, so he was able to see that beautiful eyepatch mask, Kaneki's white fingers caressing the ghoul's black hair.

'So how does it feel on you, Kaneki?' The tattooed man purred out, raising a hand to touch Kaneki's hair, thumb hooking into the mask's strap.

A wave of rage washed over Tsukiyama. So that was Kaneki after all. What was his **amore** doing with this stranger, why was he letting him do this, _what was going on?!_

At that point, Tsukiyama couldn't take it anymore 'KANEKI-KUN! WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM? HE'S MINE!' He shouted at the top of his lungs and started smashing the door. _Why won't my kagune come out?!_

'Oh, so we are finally getting a pleasing response' Uta whispered into Kaneki's ear, licking it seductively; malicious grins spread across both their faces. The half-ghoul used the chance to let out a soft moan.

'Mmm, do you hear that?' he asked innocently.

'Hear what?' Uta asked back through a chuckle, nibbling on Kaneki's ear and drawing more pleasant noises from him.

Tsukiyama had reached a point where he couldn't make another noise, only stare in silent rage and disbelief. His eyes had accustomed to the dark, and he could see more clearly now, so when kaneki stood up again and his back was at full display, it was more than what his **cuore** could take. 'Amore! heartbreak!' were the last two words he managed to say before falling to his knees and fainting.

The dull _thump_ from the room made Kaneki turn to the door and just laugh. 'Seems like that did it. ' Kaneki chuckled as he walked to the door to fill in the keyhole. 'Now, how about we finish what we started?' The half-ghoul asked, turning towards Uta, who lazily stood up.

'I never leave things half done, Kaneki-kun' murmured the other, arm snaking around Kaneki's waist, pulling him closer.

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><p>The next morning Tsukiyama woke up in the place where Kaneki's group was staying in… Furthermore he was in Kaneki's bed. Naked. Kaneki sleeping next to him. Also naked. Was… Was whatever had happened just a strange nightmare? Although a faint aroma of leather still clung to Kaneki's skin...<p>

_**~FIN~**_

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><p><em>I think I might continue this? One or two more chapters of what happens next? Opinions please?<em>

_Also, in case you're wondering, yes, in this fic Kaneki's been going out with Hide, Touka and Tsukiyama, and meanwhile is with Uta, who knows and is mostly amused by all that. What a cheating SOB._


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Tokyo Ghoul/東京喰種トーキョーグール, Humor, Parody