Twilight 1. Ch 1 - The plan

**AN: Okay, here we go!  
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**I'd love to know your thoughts on this so, please, don't hesitate to leave a review!**

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_"And don't tell me debt is not a big deal. Debt will cut off your legs and laugh at you as you grovel in the dirt begging for mercy. If you don't need it, don't get it. If you can't afford it, don't get it. If you're already in debt, get out quickly. If you think you'll never get out, you're right. You won't."_

_― Osayi Osar-Emokpae_

BPOV

They say that every single thing a person does during their lifetime will affect not only their future but also the future of their future generations. They say that karma truly is a bitch when it doesn't just punish the guilty one but also the innocent by-standers that just happen to be at the wrong place, at the wrong time. They also say that, if you have a debt, you might as well pay it before the interest swallows you whole.

They were right. For the most part, anyway.

But what do you do when you find yourself stripped of all the principles and beliefs that made you the person staring back at you in the mirror? What do you do when everything that had been going on in your life turns out to be nothing but a big lie? What do you do when the people who were supposed to have your back no matter what turn out to have knives hidden behind their backs? And what do you do when you get stabbed in the back by said people? Do you fight back? Do you try self-defense? Do you cry? Beg? Scream?

Is there a universal recipe just waiting for those who suddenly find out that their entire lives were nothing more than a farce?

I always thought of myself as a good citizen. Truth was, I actually _was_ a good citizen. A role model, if you want to call it that way. You can also call it a cliché. I don't mind.

Bella Swan, daughter of Charles Swan – a cop – and Renee Swan – a kindergarten teacher –, who never drank alcohol, never smoked pot, never missed Sunday church and never, ever, got in trouble with the law. I was the perfect daughter: I cooked, cleaned and did the grocery shopping. I was the perfect student: I was a cheerleader, I volunteered, had a perfect GPA and even tutored kids who needed help with their grades. I was perfect. _Such a cliché! _

My dream was to follow my father's footsteps but with a little twist: I wanted to become a lawyer and fight the 'bad guys' just like Charles Swan, Chief of police in the small, sleepy town of Forks, Washington and my Godfather – and Charlie's best friend since high school – Jason Jenks. It was something I dreamed about ever since I could grasp the concept of good and bad and the idea of fighting the 'bad' was the only thing that truly appealed to me.

Ever since I was a small girl, people would tell me that I had my mother's looks and my father's brains. It was something that I took great pride in since Renee was a beautiful woman with shiny dark hair and icy blue eyes – and a figure to die for – while my dad was a smart man who came from a modest family but ended-up being able to afford a nice house, two cars and a vacation every year wherever my mother wanted. All from the petty salary that he had and a few well-placed investments placed over the years.

I never questioned anything.

_I should have. _

I should have known that the American dream wasn't _that_ good. No one went from living in a house with only two bedrooms to one with six rooms with a modest income such as the one my dad had. Then there was mom who shopped so much I don't think anything was left of her paycheck after two hours of shopping. _No offence, mom_.

However, I didn't question anything, opting instead to keep my nose in my books and study hard. I was well aware that my parents made sacrifices for me and that I needed to pay them back, in one form or another. I wanted to make my parents proud and make them see that it was worth every moment of support that they offered, both financial and emotional.

The day I got in at University of Chicago was the happiest day of my life. Every moment spent on studying to get the highest grades, every second spent on teaching idiots that 2 plus 2 equals 4 just to have the perfect GPA – it all led to my goal: to get out in the world and make a name for myself, far away from the narrow-minded people that had surrounded me for 18 years.

I had so many dreams and hopes that an entire lifetime didn't seem enough to achieve everything I had in mind. I could already see myself doing my part to keep people safe, to make all the wrongs right again, to prove to my mother and father that their hopes and trust were put in the right person: _me_.

I finished my undergrad in two years, taking on a full load of courses and summer classes in between. Though they were initially thrilled, my parents started complaining that I only remembered them on holidays – which was sort of true. In my defense, taking on as many classes as I had meant that I had to make some sacrifices and have very clear priorities. I was never a fickle child: I knew what I wanted and I was always going to get what I wanted, no matter the sacrifices I would have to make.

_And sacrifice I did. _

I sacrificed my social life in high school in favor of grades and didn't think twice about it. There was only so much fun you could have in a small town where everyone was in everyone's business and that was not exactly my cup of tea. Nosy neighbors and gossiping women going through their middle-age crisis were all the example of 'how not to end up' that I ever needed to keep my eyes on the ball and my fingers crossed to get out as soon as possible. _To spread my wings and fly far, far away._

Though I wish I could say things changed from that point on, college was no different.

I only went out on two parties during college: one at the beginning of my first year, on my birthday, and the second at the end of my first year, to celebrate my perfect grades. If it wouldn't have been for my roommate, Mary Alice Brandon, I wouldn't have gone to those two either. I just didn't see the appeal. I was not a sociable person. Quite the opposite, actually: I kept to myself and minded my business. The same could not be said about Alice, though. She was my total opposite: a social butterfly, always smiling and chatting, flirting and making new friends. The only two things that we had in common were our looks – we had the same black hair and the same icy blue eyes – and the passion with which we pursued our goals.

Alice was a southern girl who loved to shop, just like my mother. This common hobby became the foundation stone for their friendship: Renee found someone who acted her age – since, in her book, I was already pushing 30 and was way too boring to be around – and Alice found someone who could buy me all the clothes she thought would look good on me. As for me, I was stuck in the middle but couldn't complain about anything, really. I got nice clothes and got my mother off my back. _Win-win! _

I made a few other friends on campus but I was still shy. Add to that the obsession of getting the highest grades possible and you get one awkward girl to be around. My social life was sorely lacking, in spite of Alice's attempt to 'get me out in the world'. No matter how much I tried, parties full of drunken students just weren't my scene. I tried, even though I always came back to my dorm room a couple of hours later feeling like I didn't belong anywhere. I tried. And I always failed.

To say I never felt like a part of me was missing would be a lie. I longed to be surrounded with people that understood me and, most importantly, people that liked me for who I was and not because I was the perfect project partner. I took a small comfort knowing that Alice would be by my side no matter what, even though I didn't share her love for fashion. What I did share was her passion for drawing and she even joked that I should abandon my plans of becoming an attorney and apply for Design school. Not thinking twice about it, I shut down the idea with a smile on my face. If there was anything that I wanted to do more than anything, that was to become an attorney. Maybe even a prosecutor.

At the end of my first year, my parents decided to buy me a house as a reward for being such a good student. It was a nice two story brownstone, with more than enough room for one person, and I invited Alice to stay with me. Needless to say, if Alice wasn't my sister before the moving in, that was the last step towards making it official. We became closer than ever which turned out to be the truly best thing that ever happened to me considering the events which took place a year later.

I had it all planed out. I had a dream and I was going to make it come true. I had my entire life mapped out in front of me and everything was just a touch away…

Do you know the saying "It's too good to be true"? Well, let's say that I should have kept it in mind.

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**AN: Sooo... that's it! Next update: tomorrow.**


	2. Ch 2 - The news

**AN: This chapter's four times longer than the first one but I can't promise the next will follow the same pattern. We needed to get this show on the road and what's better than a long chapter filled with action? I know I don't mind :D**

**Leave me your views on this.  
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**Enjoy!**

**Oh, and a song for this chapter which I think fits this chapter to the T! Leon Somov &amp; Jazzu - Lower than the ground (search for it on YouTube ;) )  
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_"I was amazed as people must be who are seized and kidnapped, and who realize that in the strange world of their captors they have a value absolutely unconnected with anything they know about themselves." _

_― Alice Munro_

BPOV

You know that feeling when the rug is being pulled from underneath your feet? When, for only a split of a second, you find yourself unable of forming coherent thoughts and just run on autopilot, trying to find your balance and not fall flat on your behind? That feeling of… helplessness as you try to grab whatever is in your vicinity just so you can avoid the fall?

That was the exact feeling that filled my veins during an ordinary Friday morning.

It was the last day of school and I was in the middle of my last exam. It was the toughest exam and I had not been looking forward to it, even though I studied for days on end. Still, I wasn't one of those people that complained they knew nothing and acted surprised when they got the maximum score.

It was during that exam that I felt the hairs on my body start to stand up, like an electric current was going through me, and a deep pit settled on the bottom of my stomach. I looked up to my arms and studied my skin as goose bumps appeared. It was the first time I felt something like that and it put me on edge. I looked around but didn't find anything out of the ordinary. Everyone focused on the papers in front of them and no one was looking at me. _Weird! _

I tried to brush it off but the cold didn't really go away, no matter how much I tried to put it off my mind. Even as I turned in my paper and left the class, the weird feeling stuck to me like the damp air sticks to one's skin. Happy faces and positive energy surrounded me but the feeling stayed in my bones, making me jumpy and a little paranoid.

I had just stepped out of the room and was busy trying to navigate through the ocean of students that filled the hallways when the feeling returned tenfold. You could almost smell the freedom in the air as people were yelling, laughing and patting their backs on a job well done but none of it had any effect on me. My eyes kept darting right and left, looking for the source of my uneasiness but it was in vain. Nothing seemed out of place.

I was trying to get Alice on the phone so we could meet somewhere off campus and celebrate with a nice meal and get my mind off the feeling that was pestering me. Unfortunately for me, she was on the phone, which, knowing Alice, meant that her conversation would go on for at least half an hour. I almost pitied the person on the other end of the line if I didn't pity myself more when I got caught up in a phone conversation with her when she was excited about something. And Alice_ always_ has a reason to be excited.

It took me a few minutes longer than it would usually take to get out of the building but I didn't mind. Being surrounded by people suddenly wasn't so bad when I considered the alternative: sit alone on a bench and try to get rid of the chill that took over my body. _No, thank you._

My phone started ringing as soon as I stepped into a more quiet area and I eagerly fished out of my pocket thinking that Alice was done talking someone's ear off and saw my call. I quickly glanced at the screen only to see an unknown number flashing. _That's weird._ I answered with a small voice and was greeted by a calm, male voice on the other end.

"Is this Isabella Marie Swan?"

"Yes, this is she." I replied despite the creeping chill that was climbing through my spine, reaching the back of my neck and making the hairs stand up once again. _What the…?_

"Miss Swan, my name is Aro Volturi, DA of King County. I… this is… hard to say, especially over the phone. Miss Swan, your parents have been involved in a fatal car accident. They are dead."

Three words. That's all it took to bring my world crashing down around me. Three simple words: _t__hey are dead. _

I don't remember sitting down. I don't remember saying anything. I don't remember filling my lungs with oxygen. My mind filled with denial and I tried to ask the man if this was his idea of a joke. My mouth, however, was not cooperating. My body was in full lockdown and my mind was spinning in circles. I vaguely remember Aro Volturi telling me that a driver would pick me up in 5 minutes and take me to the airport where I would take a private jet straight to Port Angeles. I remember asking him why but he never answered back, opting instead to tell me to stay put and wait for the driver.

I didn't have it in me to ask anything else. _I should have. _

The rest was a haze. I wanted to call Alice to cancel and tell her what had happened but my limbs were no longer reacting, the only moving muscles being those in my arm, as I gripped my phone and whatever was left of my sanity. I just sat there, on a stone bench, looking at people around me, trying to understand what was going on.

In the blink of an eye, I went from an only child with a mother and a father to an orphan. They were gone, just like that.

In the aftermath of the news, the chill that had taken over my body for the past 30 minutes went away, leaving only emptiness in its wake and desperation in my bones. I couldn't wrap my head around the news. My father was a cop, for God's sake. People like him didn't just die like that! It was like an oncologist dying of cancer. That doesn't _just_ happen. Then again, it just did. God did have a twisted sense of humor, that's for sure!

From there on to the point when I stepped out of the jet and came face to face with Aro Volturi, I went on autopilot. My designated driver pulled up in front of me, asked me if my name was Isabella Swan, opened my door and motioned for me to get in. Not another word was spoken. Then again, what could he possibly say? As he maneuvered his way through the Chicago traffic, I found myself losing my grip on my emotions. I was all over the place. I bit my bottom lip until I drew blood, the taste making me gag. I had to keep it together. Breaking down in front of a total stranger who probably knew nothing of my current condition was the last thing I needed. I had to _look_ strong even if I was far from it.

The flight crew gave me a few lingering glances but I just sat down on the seat next to the window, buckled my seatbelt and stared at the clouds that surrounded the plane once we took off. All the way to Port Angeles, I had my seatbelt on, needing the false feeling of security that it gave me. My parents probably died with theirs on. If the plane crashed, the seatbelt wouldn't do anything to keep me alive but, at the time being, it was the only thing that kept me grounded and prevented me from screaming my lungs out. Stupid, I know.

The moment I saw Aro's face as he waited for me to descend from the jet, reality sunk in. This was the man who called me two hours ago to let me know that my parents died. I could finally associate a face with the calm voice that gave me the horrible news. He had blonde hair and clear blue eyes. I had read somewhere that he was in his late thirties, one of the youngest DAs that Seattle had. I looked at him closely and compared him to the image I had in my head. He was dressed in a nice charcoal suit that looked tailored to his physique, following every dip and every line, and looked ready to take on whatever was thrown at him. _Unlike me. _

That was when I started crying. It got to the point where my lungs were burning, begging for air but it felt like I was underwater, drowning in my own tears. Heavy sobs left my body and I collapsed on the wet asphalt, on my knees, hugging my middle section in a pathetic attempt to hold myself together. The asphalt was digging into my skin and would probably draw blood if I didn't wear jeans but I didn't care. I needed an external source of pain that would distract me from the gaping hole that my chest had didn't help.

I was a mess.

Little did I know, the worst had yet to come.

I don't know how long I stayed there, crying my heart out, but it felt like an eternity. The weight of recent events was pushing on my chest, preventing me from taking deep breaths. I couldn't get up, couldn't make my muscles move, couldn't get out of this situation that I found myself neck-deep in. I just couldn't wrap my head around the recent events. I found myself wishing for all this to be just a nightmare that I could wake up from and realize that it was all inside my mind. Where was that damn alarm clock when I needed it? Why wasn't I waking up? This couldn't be true. _It couldn't. _

"Miss Swan, can you get up? Do you need help?" Aro's voice broke me out of my thoughts. He asked with a calm voice but made no move towards me.

Ha! _Help_. What I needed was to wake up from this nightmare. I needed a slap back into reality, where my dreams where still a touch away, where my parents were alive, where I could still count on them to be at my graduation, their faces lit up with happiness and pride, where I could repay them for everything they'd taught me. That was one debt I could never pay back, no matter how much I wanted to.

I slowly shook my head and gathered myself up from the ground. Aro motioned me towards a black BMW with tinted windows and walked in front of me. Once at the car, he opened the door and guided me in. Not surprisingly, the driver was waiting with the car in idle for us to get in before peeling out of the parking lot and rushing down the highway towards Forks.

"I am sorry for your loss, Miss Swan."

Not trusting my voice, I only nodded and looked out the window.

The ride was silent. I kept looking out the window in hopes of escaping the hopelessness that was settling in my whole body. I even started counting the trees as they whipped by but gave up since the speed of the car made everything blurry. Soon enough, it looked like there was a curtain of green and brown on both sides of the road. It made me feel trapped. I looked away and glanced back at Aro Volturi.

Aro was silently typing on his phone what seemed to be an e-mail since his fingers didn't leave the keyboard ever since the car hit the highway. Suddenly, all thoughts of death left my brain like a fog that lifted from a field once the sun was high enough to clear the haze.

Multiple questions popped into my mind, starting with the real reason why Aro Volturi called me to inform me of my parents' death and ending with his very presence in the car. Why was the DA of King County in the same car as me? It didn't make any sense. I was not an important person. The only Police-tied people I knew were Charlie and the guys at the station. Then, all of a sudden, I get to meet one of the top people in command of the State. I had a bad feeling about this creeping up my spine and it was making my palms sweat. What was really going on? I stole a few glances his way but he was so involved in whatever conversation he was a part of that he didn't feel the burn of my gaze as I studied his profile.

The more I thought about it, the stronger my unease became. How did Aro Volturi know where I was? Was I being watched? How did he get someone to me as fast as he did? Why was I brought to Forks on a private jet? Why was I in the car with _him_?

My head was spinning from all the questions that kept circling my brain and drove me dizzy. I could feel the space closing in on me, chocking me. I could feel beads of sweat forming above my brows and my hands were clammy. I started rubbing them on my pants in hopes of drying my palms but all I could feel was the scratchy fabric making my skin crawl and my stomach turn. I had too much saliva in my mouth no matter how much I tried to swallow it.

"Stop the car." I managed to say before I clamped a hand over my mouth.

It took me one second to get out of the car and two seconds to empty the contents of my stomach. The following dry heaves brought tears to my eyes and my mouth was bitter. Someone from my left, probably the driver, pushed a bottle of water in my line of vision and I took it, rinsing my mouth and spitting the horrible taste in the nearby grass.

"Why?" I blurted out before my mind could catch up with my mouth. My eyes widened slightly as I realized my mistake. I should have kept my mouth shut. There is a fine line between curiosity and stupidity and I was supposed to tread lightly if I was going to get any answers to all the questions that were circling in my mind.

I found myself staring into his clear blue eyes. He was the epitome of calm. Collected, cold, assessing the situation and coming with solutions for every possible outcome. He had it all planned out: how to talk to me, how to act around me, how to manage my reactions. I hated that kind of people, probably because I had dealt with them my entire life: teachers, students, friends and strangers. They all thought they had me all figured out. But was I really the person they all thought I was? Was I really the _perfect_ girl that people worshipped? Was I really the person that I flaunted in their faces every single day?

I had an entire inner life that no one but me had access to. There were times when I even denied myself access. There were a few monsters that were better left locked up than running around and creating havoc. If there was something that I had learned during my 20 years, it was that self control was golden and I found myself curious of the magnitude of self-control that the person in front of me possessed. Had Aro Volturi been close to my father? If so, why hadn't I met him before? Why was he here?

I straightened myself back up, gathered my hair with my left hand and threw the bottle to the driver who caught it expertly. A little _too_ expertly. I narrowed my eyes and actually looked at him: dressed in a nice, navy fitted suit, tall but with enough muscle to pass for lean, not lanky, brown hair that had a lot of product in it, probably to keep it tamed, a chiseled jaw covered in a day's worth of scruff and Ray Bans that covered his eyes, the man standing in front of me looked more like a runway model than a simple driver. I didn't understand was why he wore sunglasses. Did he really feel the need to wear them? I doubted it. _It's not like there's much sun in Forks, buddy._ But the one detail that set me on edge was his posture: legs slightly parted with his hands behind his back. A waiting posture. _Waiting for what, exactly?_ His posture didn't belong to a simple driver. It screamed power, respect and – dare I say? – _cockiness_.

His gaze unnerved me, burning behind the lens. I could feel my skin tingle. I looked away and tried to focus my attention on something else.

I glanced back at Aro who was still assessing me with that cold, blank stare. When he made no move to answer me, I realized that something was definitely not right. Call it sixth sense, intuition, survival instinct, whatever you wish. There was this little ringing sound in the back of my mind, begging for my attention, that I couldn't shut up. I was missing something important here but what was it? Whatever ground breaking revelation was looking me in the eye, I was unable to grasp it. It was a breath away. _So close yet so far away… _

His voice broke me out of my thoughts.

"Why what, Miss Swan?"

"Why are you here, Mr. Volturi?" I replied without missing a beat.

"It's what friends are for."

I had no answer to that so I only nodded. What else was there to say, anyway? _'Sorry, sir, but I have no idea who you are'_ surely wouldn't pass as an appropriate response.

And, just like that, in less than a fraction of a second, I realized just why the alarm bells were ringing in the back of my mind: Aro hadn't shown me his badge. Surely a DA had a badge, right? _Right! _

As soon as my mind registered that thought, I could feel myself grow even paler. The man standing in front of me was _not_ Aro Volturi.

One could argue that I never met the man, never even saw as much as a picture of him. What I did know was that he was a good man, powerful, who ran twice for DA and won each time. He donated to charity, took hard cases and never settled with someone who deserved to be behind bars for a very long time. The man standing in front of me just didn't fit the bill.

Not trusting my voice, I walked back to the car and took a seat like the good girl that I was. The last thing I needed was for them to realize that I put two and two together and was planning my escape. Luckily for me, convincing the men in the car that I was an emotional mess didn't take too much effort. All I had to do was let the tears fall freely and they each focused on their own tasks.

All kinds of scenarios were going round and round through my head but none of them seemed plausible. Why would two strange men fly me in a private jet all the way from Chicago? Did they want to kidnap me? If so, it meant that my parents were alive, that I could see them again. Somehow, my gut told me that at least the first part of the story was true. I remembered the chill that went up my spine during them exam and the feeling that something bad had happened. My mother and father were, indeed, dead. My gut told me that and I was a firm believer in one's own instincts. _No time to linger on that particular information, Isabella._ Okay. Moving on. My father was a cop. Maybe he had pissed someone off. But why wait until he was dead to get to me? Unless… unless they were the ones responsible for the 'accident' and I was next on the list. I was suddenly drenched in a cold sweat. _Don't go there, little lamb. Not with the lions guarding you. _My mind whispered back at me.

However, the need to know won over the need to not know and stay blissfully ignorant and I found myself asking _Aro_ the question that was circling my brain for at least 5 minutes.

"How did they die?"

I watched as the man's head whipped in my direction and a quick glance in the driver's direction confirmed that I also had his full attention. This fact confirmed my suspicions that he wasn't just a driver. Maybe he was the one doing all the dirty work so that the blonde guy didn't ruin his suit. _Although his suit seemed just as expensive._ Then again, what would I know about expensive suits? That would be Alice's area of expertise.

That line of thought came to a screeching halt once her name crossed my mind. _Poor Alice! I didn't get to tell her anything._ Then again, what _could_ I tell her when I didn't know anything myself? I was running on guesses here, while my limited knowledge made me doubt whatever my mind came up with. And, let's be honest, doubt was good, at least for the time being. It kept me on alert and it also filled my veins with adrenaline, the only fuel that could keep me going in this situation. Without it, I would just break down and mourn my dead parents.

"A hit and run, or at least that's what the preliminary reports say."

_ How convenient._

I nodded and dropped my head to rest in my palms. The change of position allowed me to escape the driver's gaze and also helped me focus. If my parents had been killed by these people, it would only be normal that I follow the same path. Then again, why go through all the hassle of getting me here, in this small town, only to kill me later? It was a little _too_ dramatic, at least for my taste. Did they want to play the suicide card? _'The golden girl commits suicide after the funeral of her parents._' A nice headline, indeed. Even I, a future Law student, could see the appeal.

As the clock kept on ticking, my thoughts became even darker. My mood soon followed the same path. So, instead of thinking about past events, I decided that plotting an escape was better than to sit and think about all kinds of crazy things that would just make me even more emotionally unstable than I already was. Easier said than done, though. It took everything in me not to start picturing my parent's bloody bodies at the side of the road and focus on the task at hand: to not end up in the same position.

Funny how fear can be a really good incentive when the situation calls for it. Then again, imminent death was proving to be an incentive just as strong as fear. I started thinking, planning and going through all kinds of excuses that would allow me to get out of the car and out of their grasp. I needed somewhere crowded so that they couldn't afford a scene. Unfortunately for me, Forks was a small town with very little places that met my current requirements, which narrowed down my list dangerously. That didn't stop me, though.

As soon as we stepped foot in Forks, my plan was ready to be executed.

"Mr. Volturi, would you mind stopping at the supermarket or a pharmacy for a few minutes?" I asked in the sweetest and most innocent voice I could summon.

He looked me over in surprise.

"Is it something urgent? I'm afraid we're on a tight schedule, Miss Swan." He said in a clipped voice but didn't look at me while speaking.

_Of course we are. We don't want to be late to the slaughter house now, do we?! _

"It's… private. Like… girl stuff. It won't take long, though, I promise." I pleaded with him.

Whatever-his-name-was bought it off and nodded. _Gotcha!_

"Sure. We could stop by a pharmacy. Is that okay?"

_ Actually, it's not. I was hoping for the usual crowd at the supermarket so I could get lost and figure out how I'm gonna get out of this situation in one piece._

"Yes. Just take the next right turn and we should come across one." I directed the driver to Ms. Cope's pharmacy. That woman was like my mother and wouldn't think twice about helping me escape if the situation would get out of hands. I crossed my fingers, hoping that I could just slip underneath their radar and not involve anyone else. Two deaths in this town would already be the biggest thing that had happened in years. _No need to add to the number_.

Making sure to not look too eager, I waited until the car stopped and before rummaging through my bag for my wallet under the watchful eye of my companion. "Shouldn't take too long. Unless there's someone who needs a prescription filled." I said with a small smile. "Thank you, Mr. Volturi. For everything. I don't know what I would have done without you." I finished my little act with a small squeeze of his arm which sealed the deal. He smiled and waved me off like it was nothing.

I analyzed his face for a few moments, looking for signs that he was honest. I found none. The smile didn't reach his eyes. They were cold. I suppressed a shudder and carefully climbed out of the car.

I made my way in to the pharmacy and pulled my phone out of my back pocket as soon as I was out of the car's line of vision. I put it on one of the shelves and went further down the back. Ms. Cope was busy with an elderly woman who was in the process of explaining her knee problem. I took advantage of the distraction and slipped quietly through the back door.

As soon as I closed the door, I dashed to the first red car that was in my line of vision and prayed that it was hers. Apparently, I still had an ounce of luck because the car opened and I found the keys above the dashboard. _Thank God for small favors and non-existent crime in Forks! _

I drove to the only supermarket in town and got in as fast as I could. It was packed with people pushing their carts and filling them to the brim. You would have thought that the apocalypse was upon us and they were afraid to die hungry. _Yeah, right!_ I internally rolled my eyes and went to the clothing aisle where I got a baseball cap, an ugly green button down shirt and a pair of low hanging jeans. I quickly paid for my things with cash, thanked the cashier – and also thanked God that she didn't recognize me – and went to the bathroom to change. As soon as I stepped in the bathroom stall, I locked it and started changing. My plain gray T shirt was replaced with the green shirt, my black jeans – with the deep blue ones what hung low on my hips and I stuffed my hair underneath the baseball cap. As I exited the stall and glanced in the mirror, I could hardly recognize myself. I looked like a boy which, considering my current situation, was the best disguise I could have hoped for. So far, my plan had worked. My happy moment was short-lived, however.

My plan had revolved on getting away from my kidnapers but was sketchy at best from that point on. I started thinking about all my options, which weren't many, to be honest. I didn't have my phone but that was probably for the best since I would've bet my left arm that it was tracked and that's why I ditched it. I also paid in cash so my credit card wouldn't pop-up anywhere. The downside was that I only had about $50 in cash and God knew how much time I would have to hide.

The only viable option that I could think of was to get in contact with Aro Volturi.

The problem was that I didn't know the man or why my kidnappers thought I would trust him. He could have been after me for the same motives the other guys were and I would have been none the wiser. Yet, if I was going to take a leap of faith with anyone, my best bet would be Aro Volturi. Surely the media would have picked up if something about him was wrong, right? My inner voice, however, disagreed with me. For all I knew, the two men who collected me could have been priests in their day-to-day lives and I don't think anyone would look past the carefully constructed masks that they had on.

It was that particular thought that kept me occupied while I drove around looking for a telephone booth in a more crowded area. The plan was to get in contact with Alice, lie about everything that had been going on and ask her to look up some contact information on Aro Volturi. Then, I would contact Aro Volturi and pray to all the saints and gods out there that he could get me out of this mess.

Thankfully, Alice answered as soon as the phone started ringing and started screaming at me as soon as I opened my mouth and said 'Hi'.

"_Isabella Marie Swan!_" _Oh, oh!_ "Where are you? I've been calling _everywhere_! Your parents have their phones off and you aren't picking up yours! You were supposed to call me as soon as you finished your exam – and that was 3 hours ago, by the way – to grab lunch and you left me stranded! And why are you calling me from an unknown number? What's going on?"

It took Alice exactly one minute to finish her tirade and she didn't stop once to catch her breath. Normally, I would have teased her about her way of jumping the guns and freaking out about anything but, this time, I kept my mouth shut. I needed to calm her down and not raise suspicions which, in Alice's case, it really was easier said than done.

"Well, hello to you too, Alice! Look, I've lost my phone and I need a phone number really fast. I need the number to Aro Volturi's office, the DA of Seattle. Could you help me with that?" I asked in my most chipper voice even though I wanted to crawl in a hole and cry myself to sleep.

"Wait, what?! You go missing for 3 hours and then you call me to ask for a phone number?" her irritated voice snapped back at me. I felt guilty. I never kept secrets from Alice and now I was breaking my own rules and going against every belief engraved in my brain. I hated liars and here I was, becoming one of them.

"I just had a lot on my mind, Alice. That's all. I called you to cancel but you were on the phone. Plus, I didn't go 'missing'. You're declared missing after 24 hours, remember?" I said with a smile in my voice, trying to lighten up the mood. On the inside, however, I was going numb.

"Why do you need this phone number? You wanna talk about that internship with him? I told you, Bella, you can take a few days off after all that studying. No one's gonna beat you to the punch."

"I know… I just need to make an appointment… for my peace of mind. Please?"

Apparently, my poor constructed lie worked. Alice promised to get the information and call me back as soon as possible. While I waited, my nerves were all over the place. I kept looking around for anything suspicious but calmed down a little once everything seemed normal enough. True to her word, Alice called in less than five minutes and gave me Aro's office number. After promising to call her if anything came up and repeating the number five times to make sure I got it correctly, I ended the call and punched Aro's number in a heartbeat.

It only took two rings before a woman answered in a very pleasant voice.

"Could I talk to Mr. Volturi, please? It's urgent."

"Sure, Miss…"

"Swan. Isabella Swan."

"I'll put you through in a moment, Miss Swan."

To say I was on edge and every single noise made me jump would be an understatement. I was nervous to the point of almost biting my nails off, a habit that I hated, and my stomach was turning to the point of inflicting physical pain. The fact that I hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, and that whatever was left of that came out almost an hour ago, only made things worse.

"Hello?" the man on the other end said and it was all it took to start spilling my heart out through a lungful of air and a river of tears. I told him about everything that had happened in the last 3 hours: the phone call, the news, the man who impersonated him, the private jet and the cold attitude and finished with my escape. By the time I was done, I was holding on to the receiver so hard that my knuckles were white. My breathing became labored as the weight of my situation came crashing down on me.

I needed help and I needed it fast, before the adrenaline wore out and I would no longer be able to get away from the black hole that opened in my chest a few hours prior.

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**AN: Well, that answered a few questions... right? See you again tomorrow!**

**PS: I'd _love_ to know what you think of this so far.**


	3. Ch 3 - The adrenaline

**AN: Aaaand... we meet Jacob! Anyone excited?  
**

**Song: Robot Koch - Nitesky**

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_"Fear triggers the fight-or-flight response, fueled by adrenaline, which, as it turns out, is chemically related to amphetamines. Granted, it's a very different kind of high for mindfuckers: not a mellow, floaty "my vulva is one with the universe" high but a jittery, revved-up "oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck" kind of high. Endorphins are like great downers but adrenaline is uppers all the way." _

_― Tristan Taormino_

BPOV

I always thought of myself as an honest person that was surrounded by honest people. I didn't mingle with people I knew to play all kinds of parts like they were the best actors in the world. Truth was, they were never as good as they thought they were. There was always a twitch, a smirk, a scowl, a muscle straining that gave everything away. All you had to do was watch. _Watch and learn._ And that's exactly what I did my whole life. I watched and paid attention to whatever was going on around me. I pushed away liars and idiots but I never turned my eyes away from them.

Maybe it was because my father was a policeman. Maybe it was because I never believed anything until I had solid proof in front of me. Be as it may, I was always honest. I said what I meant and meant what I said. _Always._

I didn't sugarcoat bullshit and tried my best to dodge the one that came my way. That's not to say that I didn't have a diplomat bone in my body because I did. I always had a way with words that most people didn't get or pretended not to understand just so they could escape without a reply. I didn't mind. If there was something that I hated more than lying, that would be the fake smiles and nice words that people said, thinking that they could weasel their way out of a situation when, in reality, they only dug their holes deeper.

However, as fate would have it, the time to break my own rules was approaching. Every cell in my body was fighting it but, the truth was, when a person is facing imminent danger, they strip away all morals and ethic until all there's left is the survival instinct. Underneath the make-up, the fancy clothes, the big house and the expensive car, lies an animal. An animal that, when cornered, isn't above biting, clawing, begging, pleading and lying just so it can live to see another day.

I was no exception.

Through the thoughts that created a storm inside my mind, I could hear Mr. Volturi telling me to go back to the supermarket and stay on the clothing aisle until someone came to collect me.

"Sir? I just… are they really dead?" I found myself whispering through the pain that seized my whole body when I thought about my parents.

"I'm afraid so, Miss Swan. An agent will be in Forks as soon as possible."

"How will I know…" I didn't finish my thought before his voice stopped me.

"Your safe word is_ twilight_. The person collecting you will say it in a sentence. I'll see you as soon as I can, Miss Swan. Goodbye."

I sat there for a few moments, blinking at the receiver in my hand, before getting back in the car and driving back to the supermarket. As soon as I parked the car, I started whipping every surface that my hands could have come in contact with. I was borderline paranoid that someone would find my fingerprints in the car and I'll get arrested. After all, I had just borrowed it. Then again, maybe being in Police custody would be a good thing with all the surveillance and stuff… I almost laughed out loud at my thoughts. Here I was, good ol' Bella Swan, breaking the law so I could take cover in a cell. _I'm really losing it._

I exited the car and took my time going through the aisles before reaching my destination. Aro Volturi had failed to tell me just how much time I would have to kill before the person who was supposed to collect me would reach Forks and the whole waiting game was making me even more jumpy that I already was.

In an attempt to distract myself from Aro's confirmation, I looked around and tried to focus on anything else. All I could see were the faces of busy people, each living their lives in their own little bubble. They, just like me, were on autopilot: looking without _seeing_, hearing without _listening_. Unlike me, they had few reasons to act the way they did. I, on the other hand, was willingly choosing to be numb, just to keep the pain away for as long as possible, but the recent events had made me pay closer attention to people around me, even more than I usually did, even if I didn't want to acknowledge the information that my brain was gathering. With my body burning on adrenaline, the only thing I did consciously was to look for any sign that I was in danger.

It didn't take long before a warm hand touched my elbow and I turned around, ready to dart the opposite direction.

I was met with a man that had russet-colored skin, dark eyes, set deep above the high planes of his cheekbones and a warm smile that put me somewhat at ease. I let out the air I was holding in and offered a small smile in return which, I think, looked like a grimace rather than a true smile. _At least I_ _tried._

"It's almost _twilight_ outside. Let's go." I looked back up at him and nodded my approval.

He led me to a black SUV with black tinted windows and I gingerly took the passenger seat and buckled myself in. What was it with these people and tinted windows? _They're not as inconspicuous as they think._

"I'm very sorry for your loss, Miss Swan. Chief Swan may have gotten involved in… things he shouldn't have but he was a good man." His voice echoed in the car, devoid of any emotion, while his eyes were looking forward.

I felt my fists clench before I realized I made the decision of clenching them in the first place. Was this the common speech when dealing with family members that had no idea what was going on? Be as vague as possible but still keep it personal? Or did he really know Charlie?

"I'm Jacob Black, by the way. I'm an FBI agent. Aro asked me to keep you company for the next couple of days until the funeral and then we'll work something out, see how we can make this go away and make your life as normal as possible." agent Black said as he pulled out a badge and threw it in my lap. I stared at it as if it would come alive and bite my hand off if I would dare to touch it.

"We're going to La Push. That's somewhere between Port Angeles and Forks, if you're not familiar with our destination." agent Black's voice broke me out of my daze and I looked back at him.

I was familiar with the location so I nodded then turned my body away from him and watched the trees fly-by while agent Black kept stealing glances with the corner of his eye. My silence was putting him on edge. Can't say I blamed him. No one should have been as calm as I was at the moment. But the calm was only lingering on the surface. Underneath it, a storm was raging. A storm that threatened to leave me even more broken than I already was.

Sensing that I wasn't going to try and make small talk, agent Black started firing questions that were probably in dire need of answers. Although I knew that a questioning would follow as soon as possible, the situation still didn't make me very chatty, unfortunately for him.

"So you came to Port Angeles on a private jet after being informed that your parents had died?"

"Yes."

"Have you ever met the two men before?"

"No."

"Would you recognize them if you were to see pictures of them?"

"Probably. I don't know. I wasn't really looking at them… more like through them."

He only nodded in response.

"Did they give you any information as to why they believed you would know Aro Volturi?"

"No."

"Did you ever hear Chief Swan talking about Aro Volturi?"

"No."

"But you knew he was the DA of King County."

"Yes."

"How –"

"I don't feel like talking anymore." I cut him off and looked out the window once again.

"I understand."

Two simple words that made my blood boil. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe I didn't need adrenaline to keep me going anymore. Maybe all I needed was anger. God knew I had plenty of that, more than enough for everyone. As a matter of fact, if I would have gotten my pick at what emotion to feel, anger would have been my first choice. Anger for losing my parents, anger for the secret lives they were probably living, anger at the people who killed them and, most importantly, anger at myself for not noticing all the little things that should have tipped me off that something was going on.

Because, no matter how much I wanted to think otherwise, I had been a naïve 20 year old girl. I didn't know anything about my parents. My whole life had been a lie.

My parents' death had been my awakening. _And what a brutal awakening_. But something told me that this was only the beginning.

"You don't understand." I found myself saying back to Jacob Black. "You might _know_ what's going on. You might _know_ how I became an orphan just a few hours ago, why the hell people want me in their custody and pretend to be someone they're clearly not, why the DA of Seattle is involved in this and why my parents died but you do not understand! You cannot grasp how fucked up it is to not know what's going on around you and find yourself lost with no bearings whatsoever. The people who were supposed to take care of me, the people who were the center of my Universe are dead! I'm supposed to be mourning their death but I can't. All I can think of is the fact that I may follow them soon. And I don't even know _why_! I'm like a child, left in the dark with his eyes trained on the closet door, waiting for the Boogeyman to appear! I'm on edge and I'm so jumpy it isn't even funny! So don't tell me you _understand_, agent Black, because you _don't_."

_And that's how long it takes for you to go from screaming your lungs out to crying your heart out: less than 2 minutes._

To his credit, he kept his mouth shut during my little rant and even afterwards. He kept driving while I kept fighting with my emotions for control. I needed to get a grip. Now was not the time to break down and start wailing. It was the time to stay strong for as long as possible, to keep it together and pay attention. My fucking life was in hanging the balance!

Speaking of which, I had a strong feeling that agent Black knew more than he was letting on. Could it be that he was a part of an investigation in which my father had been involved? Had I become a part of the same investigation because I had contacted Aro Volturi? Did I make a mistake? _Oh, God!_

I began to study him with the corner of my eye and thought about our short interaction but nothing came up. He seemed nice, outgoing but nothing screamed _'I know a secret I'm supposed to carry to the grave with me'_. Considering my lack of knowledge when it came down to trained professionals like him, there was no way I could tell if whatever he told me was a lie or the truth. All I could do – and I intended to do just that – was to keep my eyes and ears open and get him to talk. While I couldn't get information about what was going on, I could get information on _him_ as a person.

The first thing that I noticed about Jacob Black was that he loved to talk. Then again, maybe he had been _told_ to talk to me in order to keep me sane. So, he talked: about his father, about his dog, about his sisters, Rebecca and Rachel, and pretty much anything that he could come up with in order to fill the silence that I was using as a shield.

The second thing that I noticed about Jacob Black was that he was very cocky. My past experience told me that this level of confidence was bound to come and bite him in the ass, sooner or later, but I chose to keep my mouth shut and give him the impression that I was buying his load of crap. _I wasn't_. Jacob Black also had a very good opinion about himself and gave the impression that whatever he came out of his mouth was the absolute truth. If I hadn't lived in a complete lie for God knows how many years, I would have believed him. However, after discovering just how far the thread of lies spread, I started doubting everything, agent Black's abilities and his sincerity included.

The third and most important thing that I noticed about Jacob Black was that he knew nothing about me. Or at least that's what he pretended. My father probably wanted to keep me out of this and steered everyone in the opposite direction. _But fate had other plans._ So here I was, in a car with an FBI agent who tried to get me to talk about myself, my parents, school and friends. I, however, wasn't in the mood to talk. What I wanted was some peace and quiet to organize the thoughts inside my head that were threatening to drive me crazy.

After a few more minutes of silence and lack of reaction on my part, agent Black decided to cut to the chase and went straight for the kill.

"Your father had ties with the Mafia."

_ And that was the proverbial twig that broke the camel's back_, I found myself thinking as I took a deep breath and bit down hard on my lip.

The anger that was looming in the back of my mind flared and I had to bite down even harder on my lip to keep the screams from leaving my lips and stay silent. All my thoughts, all my doubts, all the signs that were staring at me, mocking me for not paying them any attention… they all summed up to one fact: my father, my dear father whom I believed to be a saint, was involved with the Mafia. _And I had been none the wiser. _

Agent Black was seemingly unaware of my little moment and he continued to speak as if he had just told me the most trivial thing known to man.

"It went on for years. We don't really know how long but we can only assume that it was roughly about five years. Then he started getting sloppy. The Bureau got him to cooperate and… offer information. However, things took a turn for the worse when the Mob found out what he had been doing."

"So they killed him and mom."

My eerily calm voice surprised even myself. Agent Black only glanced at me but the silence spoke volumes.

"Was I next?"

"Next for what? Oh… actually no. At least not that we knew of. No one in the office suspected that you had anything to do with the situation. We weren't even monitoring you. To us, you were nothing more than his daughter who had gone to school in a different state and had no idea what was going on. If we would have had any indication that you knew something important, you would have been under surveillance and this whole situation wouldn't have happened in the first place. We still can't figure out what it was that they wanted from you. So imagine my surprise when Aro called to tell me that you had been kidnapped but had escaped and I needed get you out of Forks."

"Imagine my surprise when I found out that my father had been involved with the Mob."

My snarky come-back almost made agent Black crack a smile. In the blink of an eye, however, it was gone. In its place, came a mask of calm and determination. The man was on a mission. Me.

"I'm sorry about earlier, Miss Swan. You were right. I know many things that you don't but I can't imagine having the things that you _do_ know dumped on me like that. It must have been a shock. It's incredible that you had the presence of mind and spirit to hold it together and get yourself out of that situation. That being said, I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. As soon as we reach a safe location and you won't feel the need to keep your guard up, the adrenaline will stop pumping through your veins and you'll go into shock. Is there anyone I could contact for you? Anyone you want close to you on the day of the funeral or ever before that?"

The only person that I could think of was Alice so I wrote down her name and phone number on the back of an envelope and resumed my staring at the passing trees.

Soon enough, the curtain of trees that was on each side of the road disappeared and allowed the ocean to take over, with its rocky beaches and violent waves. I found myself indentifying with the change of scenery, my mood going from calm and even, to violent and bursting, from composed to all over the place, all in a matter of moments.

Time stretched and expanded once we reached the small beach house that agent Black owned. I stood on the porch, not daring to go inside, and looked over the ocean for what seemed like hours while I tried to come to terms with everything that had happened during the day. Yesterday seemed so far away. Looking back, my nerves and excitement regarding my last undergrad exam seemed like such frivolous things. Then again, anything would seem frivolous when being compared to death.

I felt like I was caught in between two mirrors. The one on my left showed me the girl that I was yesterday, while the one on my right showed me the girl that I became less than five hours ago. I had a hard time figuring which one I was. _Probably neither of them._

I found myself dissecting every memory of my parents that I had. I analyzed each of Charlie's friends, looking for clues that they were on the wrong side of the law and just about anything that could have tipped me off that something was not right. Had I ever met any Mafia member? Considering what agent Black said about them not knowing about me, it was highly unlikely but not impossible. All the people that surrounded Charlie were well mannered, funny and… _good_. Then again, I lived in a lie for God knew how long so my perception of who was good and who was bad could have been a tad off. In the end, I realized I knew _nothing_.

The salty air, mixed with the smell of seaweed and the sound of the waves lulled me to sleep after I cried for the loss of my parents and the loss of the innocent Bella Swan, the girl who thought she could trust the people around her with her life. That girl was gone. In her wake was her shell, who tried hard to keep her grip on her sanity while trying to come to terms with everything.

It wasn't a simple task.

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**AN: So? What do you think?**


	4. Ch 4 - The value of time

**AN: I'm really nervous about this chapter. I hope you guys like it. I've been editing and re-editing all day yesterday and couldn't wait to share it.  
**

**I think I need a Beta. Anyone interested? Pretty please?**

**Also, do you like the idea of a song matched with each chapter or should I stop?**

**Song: Placebo - Running up that hill**

**Without further introduction, I present you... EDWARD!**

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_"Sometimes I feel like if you just watch things, just sit still and let the world exist in front of you - sometimes I swear that just for a second time freezes and the world pauses in its tilt. Just for a second. And if you somehow found a way to live in that second, then you would live forever." _

_― Lauren Oliver_

BPOV

Time has a funny way of flowing, especially when you're dealing with events that you never thought would cross your path. In my case, I never thought I would see the day when I would have to bury both of my parents, much less fear for my life in the process. As a matter of fact, I never thought I'd see the day I would look at myself in the mirror and not recognize the girl staring back at me. Then again, it seemed like the time for new _experiences_ had caught up with me.

On Friday, it felt as if time was like sand, slipping through my fingers as I desperately tried to hold on to it. Everything was moving in fast-forward while I watched and tried to hold on to time. I was in the eye of the storm, watching everything float around me at a dangerous speed. My inner voice kept warning me that it was only a matter of time before I would also be caught up in the storm. Deep down, I knew that my father's death wouldn't be the end. It was only the beginning. I didn't care. It's not like I didn't _want_ to care. I just _couldn't._ I couldn't find it in me to look around and keep my guard up anymore. I had given up on everything, myself included.

Over the weekend, time stopped. I felt trapped, stuck in limbo, while trying to shake the hourglass so that time could, once again, resume its flow. People fussed, talked and organized while I sat on the couch in the living room and tried to raise my gaze from the floor. I sat there and watched everyone like I was watching the shooting of a movie in a foreign language. _This isn't really happening, right?_ I had to be dreaming. I wanted to pinch myself to test the theory but couldn't find the energy. I curled into a ball on the couch and gave up.

On Monday, time resumed its pace and everything seemed to go on fast forward. I was still on the couch, looking outside and admiring the nice weather. A couple of hours later, Alice sat next to me and turned her body in my direction.

"Bella, it's time." She said with a wobbly chin and red-rimmed eyes. She had been crying ever since agent Black told her the news. At night, I could hear her heavy sobs all the way from the guest room which was across the hall from my own room. As for myself, I wanted to console her and make her smile once again but I couldn't even stand up from bed without her help. Alice was my rock and the only person that could touch me without me recoiling and withdrawing further inside my head.

"Come. I'll help you wash and get dressed, okay?" Alice continued when she realized I wasn't going to stand up.

My lack of response was starting to scare her but that wasn't the only thing that scared her in the last couple of days. When she met agent Black and found out that he was going to act as my bodyguard, Alice almost had a coronary. In true Alice fashion, she started firing questions and demanded to know what was going on but he didn't budge and simply said that he was an old friend. Alice wasn't fooled but wisely kept her thoughts to herself, even though I could see her questions swirling in her eyes.

I let her lead me to my room and sat on the edge of the bed while she went to the bathroom and started running my bath. A few minutes later, she came back and took my hand to lead me to the tub. A loud knock stopped me dead in my tracks and my body tensed. Alice chose not to pay attention to my reaction and invited in whoever was knocking. Agent Black's head poked in.

"We leave in an hour. Is that okay or do you need more time?" his eyes flickered in my direction for a second before looking back at Alice, waiting for her stamp of approval.

Alice didn't like Jacob Black. She never said anything about him but I could feel the tension radiating from her body when he was in her vicinity. Personally, I think she never bought the lie that he was an old friend. Alice knew I didn't have friends back home. She knew that the only people close to me were my parents and her. Jacob Black was a stranger. He didn't hug me, he didn't have a nickname for me and was very uncomfortable in my presence. I expected her to corner me and start demanding some explanations but it didn't happen. The giant pink elephant in the room was actually a ticking bomb, waiting to explode. It was only a matter of time before Alice would have had enough of Jacob Black's presence. I prayed for more time before that would happen. I needed more time.

"It's fine. It's more than enough time. We'll be downstairs as soon as we're done." he nodded in response and closed the door with a small _click_.

"Come, Bella."

On the other side of the bathroom door, a bubble bath with a fresh scent awaited me. Normally, my inner girl would squeak in delight and jump right in but, at the moment, I couldn't find any energy to get in the tub, much less to enjoy it. All I wanted was to crawl back in bed and pretend that everything that had happened was nothing more than a nightmare. I tried to focus on the feel of the bubbles that went all the way up to my collarbone, on the smell and the warmth of the water that soothed my aching muscles but nothing was working. I kept staring at the tiles in front of me without actually _seeing_ anything.

I felt as if I was on the bottom of a well. Each sound, touch, smell and image that reached me was distorted and made an ugly echo inside my mind. Then again, maybe I was just losing my mind. Maybe the monsters had found the key and broke loose. I couldn't find any strength to get them back in the cage.

I tried to wake up from the nightmare that I was stuck in for the last few days but no matter how many times I blinked, the same images came back in focus once I opened my eyes again. It wasn't a dream. It wasn't a nightmare. It was reality. They were truly dead. _They are dead. _

I don't know how long I stayed trapped inside my mind but as I came to, I found myself dressed in a black velvet dress that hit a couple of inches above the knee, black thighs and black suede pumps. As Alice led me down the driveway, we passed a few cars and I caught a glimpse of myself: my long dark brown hair was pulled away from my face and it cascaded down my back in loose curls, my dark circles, courtesy of the lack of sleep, were hidden underneath a heavy layer of concealer and my skin was paler than usual. But what really drew my attention were my eyes: they were hollow, lifeless, bottomless pits of sorrow. _A real window to my soul, ladies and gentlemen._

The next hour passed by in a blur. I rode with Alice in Black's car and didn't let go of her hand during the entire burial ceremony. During the whole funeral, my eyes stayed glued to the two caskets that held my mother and my father. They looked like they were sleeping, their faces so at peace and free of the pain that was currently eating away at me. It made me want to throw up. They weren't _asleep_. _They are dead. _

I felt cold. My skin felt hot underneath my palms but there was a chill in my bones that I couldn't get over. It was the same feeling that I had on Friday as I sat in the class, taking my test, only it was more intense, more… numbing. I could swear I had icicles running through my veins, freezing me in a state of numbness, unable to look away, unable to think of anything else other than the dead people in front of me.

It struck me that I was never going to hear my mother's soothing voice or see my father's kind eyes. If I would ever have children, they would never meet the two people who raised and adored me and were the center of my Universe. My sadness crept in through the cracks but my tears still wouldn't start flowing. For the second time in four days, I allowed myself to let go of my feelings and mourn the loss of my parents in complete silence. The tears didn't make an appearance, even as the priest said the final words and signaled the men to start lowering the caskets. I watched in silence, my frozen body unmoving, afraid to give me away and make me the center of attention. My breath came in shallow pants, my throat constricting, making it hard for me to breathe, to let my lungs fill with the much needed oxygen. There was pain in my ribs as I struggled to breathe in and out and my eyes were stinging. Still, no tears.

It was no simple task to keep it together when all you want is to scream until your throat is raw and no oxygen is left in your lungs.

And so I sat, still as a statue, with my long nails digging into the skin on my arms with such force that I felt the warm blood coating my fingers. It was a nice distraction. It made the emotional pain more tangible and, at the same time, it distracted me from the scene unfolding before my eyes. With each foot that the caskets descended, my nails dug deeper into my flesh and released more blood. I could smell it. I wanted to throw up but there was nothing in my stomach, not even acid. I was empty.

_Death and blood. A match made in Heaven… or Hell._

Soon enough, though, I wasn't the only one smelling the blood. Agent Black's head snapped in my direction and saw the red lines that went all the way down to my elbows. He whispered something to Alice behind my back and, in a matter of seconds, she was dragging my away to Jacob's car.

"Bella, sweetie, could you please let go? You're hurting yourself." Alice's voice snapped me out of my daze and I released my grip on my arms, fully aware of the dull throbbing that had its source in my arms. The pain was no longer pleasant and the smell of blood made my stomach churn.

While I took deep breaths to calm myself down, we walked to the car where I sat on the back seat with my legs hanging out of the car. I could hear Alice rummaging through the trunk, then the glove compartment while she huffed and puffed.

"Jacob said that he had a first-aid kit around here but I can't find it anywhere. I'm gonna go ask around and see if someone has one, okay? I'll be right back, I promise." I gave Alice a small nod and she walked fast towards a group of people that were close to the line of cars.

While waiting for Alice, I took a moment to tilt my head and allow the sun to warm my face and my cold body. It was a lovely day in Forks which really came as a surprise. I was expecting a gloomy, rainy day which would have been the perfect setting for the funeral. I would have stayed in the rain, letting my tears flow and become one with the raindrops and no one would have given me the looks that I was currently getting. If I were to let my tears flow right now, I would have nothing to wash away the evidence. I would only get even more looks filled with pity. I had enough of it already.

I wanted to crawl under a rock and wait for this day to pass. Strangers, family friends, people I grew up and went to school with - they were all faceless people that hugged my rigid body and whispered their condolences. I stared through them and repeated _thank you_ like a broken record. If someone were to ask me who was at the funeral, I wouldn't be able to name anyone other than Alice, Jacob Black and the priest. It didn't matter anyway.

My moment of piece was short-lived as a tall figure came to a stop in front of me and blocked the sun from reaching my face. I frowned.

"Hi."

I opened my eyes and froze. Standing in front of me was probably the most handsome man on Earth. He was roughly 6'2", dressed in a pair of black loafers, black pants, black shirt and a black velvet jacket. The stranger had an unruly shock of bronze hair which complimented to the point of perfection his pale skin and his piercing green eyes. His facial features reminded me of the marble statues that I saw when visiting Greece with my parents, a few years prior: high cheekbones, perfect eyebrows, a straight nose and full lips.

But the feature that made me freeze was his jaw line. The hard square of his jaw was the same as the driver's who tried to kidnap me just a few days prior. He _was_ the driver. _Holy shit!_

I continued to stare at him for what seemed like hours on end but somehow managed to keep my face neutral. Was he going to try and kidnap me again? The thought made my blood freeze. My heart hammered in my chest, threatening to break out of my ribcage and run while my skin broke in goose bumps. I started feeling uneasy in my own skin, the fabric touching my arms and collarbone became itchy while a cold sweat covered me in a matter of seconds.

He continued his speech as if I had spoken back. "Your friend, Alice Brandon, sent me with the first-aid kit. She got held up but promised she'll be here as soon as possible. Now, what do I need to patch up?" he continued in a chipper voice and plastered a smile at the end of his question. It was fake.

_Am I dreaming?_

His voice was like nothing I had ever heard. It was like liquid silk, surrounding and soothing me at the same time, leaving me breathless and begging for more. During the few moments in which I allowed myself to focus on him instead of the pain that currently had a vice grip on my chest, I felt… _safe_. I felt as if nothing could ever touch me without his permission. I needed a slap back to reality… that was for sure.

In a moment of bravery, I showed him my arms and his beautiful emerald eyes widened a fraction and his jaw flexed before a more collected mask was put on. I found myself wanting to know the reason behind his reaction. Surely I meant nothing to him, other than a source of leverage. Maybe that was it. Maybe I was supposed to be in perfect condition for whatever they - whoever _they_ were - had planned for me. The thought made me shiver.

While I was having a mental discussion with myself, the man crouched in front of me, his tousled bronze hair almost reaching my chin. No longer under the influence of his assessing gaze, I snapped myself out of my daze and analyzed him further. He smelled like a fresh spring day, with a hint of spice and sandalwood. His long fingers ripped the foil off some sterile gauze and opened a bottle of antiseptic while I watched fascinated. I found myself wondering if he played the piano. _The piano should be the last thing on your mind, Isabella. Maybe he killed people with those hands._ My mind whispered back at me. The thought made my stomach churn once again. I gulped in a breath of air when dark spots appeared in my vision. _Breathe, Isabella._

"This is going to sting for a few seconds." He apologized while staring me dead in the eye before he lowered his gaze on my arms once again. I didn't answer, only stared at his hair and fought the impulse to run my fingers through the soft tresses and see for myself if they were as soft and silky as they seemed. _Snap out of it!_

"My name is Edward, by the way. Edward Masen. I was a… friend of your father. My condolences for your loss, Miss Swan."

The indifference in his voice betrayed him. He wasn't sorry. Was it because he was involved in his death? Or was it because he wasn't a friend?

By the time he finished introducing himself, he had raised his gaze once again. I continued to stare at him and kept my mouth shut. I didn't want to know his name. I didn't want to know how he smelled. I didn't want to memorize the sound of his voice or how it made me feel.

What I really wanted to know was why he tried to take me but I decided against it as it became clear that he didn't think I recognized him. I convinced myself that it would be better if I kept all my knowledge to myself and didn't reveal any information to anyone, Aro Volturi included. Knowing and doing the things that he did got my father (and mother) killed. No matter how much I wanted to be on the law's side, if staying alive meant playing the part of the clueless daughter, I would keep my mouth and my eyes shut, no questions asked.

While I was thinking about all that, Edward cleaned my wounds like an expert. His touch was cold, gentle to the point of caressing and caring. It left a trail of fire in its wake but it was a nice burn that followed. I felt myself leaning towards him as the finished wrapping the two sections of my arms in sterile gauze and pinned them with a butterfly hold. His very presence was like a magnet, drawing me out of the well that I was currently residing. He was like the light at the end of the tunnel, the promise that everything would be alright, eventually. _But he is also involved with the people that want you._ My mind reminded me, making me flinch away from him before he could raise his eyes and see that I had been leaning towards him. I _really_ needed to get a grip.

"Good as new." Edward said with a sad smile. I didn't reply but held his gaze even though every cell in my body was divided between screaming for help and jumping into his arms and allow him to take me wherever he deemed fit, even if it meant my death. _Stupid hormones!_

As I focused my gaze behind him, I could see agent Black's towering frame coming towards the car with a determined pace. He looked pissed and ready to pounce, given the opportunity. Something was going on and whatever it was, it wasn't nice. The air was filled with an invisible energy that made my skin crawl. Yet, I found myself unable to move, to get away from danger. I was like a deer caught in the headlights, waiting for the car to hit me.

"I don't recall you being invited here, Edward Masen." He said with an eerie calm voice as soon as he was in our hearing range. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up. Gone was the caring agent who tried to keep his voice as low as possible so as not to disturb or frighten me and who kept out of everyone's way. In his wake, FBI agent Jacob Black took residence. His whole posture screamed power, authority and, most importantly, anger.

Edward Masen, however, wasn't fazed. He matched Black's glare (and then some) and offered a tight-lipped smile that was anything but friendly. There was a history there. People didn't just hate one another because of nothing. And the way I saw it, there was more than just hate, lingering below the surface, waiting for a chance to break free and destroy everything in its wake.

"Funny, I could say the same thing about you too, agent Black. I don't think dogs were invited here." His tone left my skin tingling and my body ready to bolt. The tension in the air was so thick you could cut it with the proverbial knife. Agent Black didn't offer a reply to Edward's insult, opting instead to assess me with a glance and stepped between me and Edward Masen as if he were a human shield protecting me from the threat that the other man posed._ Oh, agent Black, you have no idea. _

"Miss Swan, why are you alone? Where is Miss Brandon?"

The sudden question took me by surprise. His cold tone and assessing gaze made me shrink back in my seat, away from the blazing hatred in his eyes. Rationally, I knew that the hatred wasn't directed at me but I couldn't help myself from wondering about Jacob Black's true feelings regarding me. Surely, me being dumped on him with no notice whatsoever didn't sit well with him. Before I could make myself answer his question, Alice appeared out of nowhere and answered for me.

"I got stuck with people that wanted to come by after the funeral and drop casseroles filled with food. What's the matter?" Alice said in a false chipper voice. I looked over to my friend and found her staring quizzically at me. I only gave a slight shrug in return. Has she heard that Jacob Black called me "Miss Swan" and not "Bella"?

"I thought we agreed you would stay by Bella's side at all times, Alice." agent Black said a little too forcefully through gritted teeth. His stance was calm but if you were close enough, like I was, you could feel his rage boiling, an inch away from erupting. I shrunk even more in my seat. It was one of those times when being invisible would have been a blessing.

"And I thought we agreed that she wasn't a child and didn't need a babysitter." Alice said with equal anger and fixed him with a glare of her own. "I won't let you bully me, _Jacob_, no matter how much of a good _friend_ you are to Bella." Even though Alice didn't utter the remaining words, I could feel them on the tip of her tongue. _"You are not Bella's friend."_

It felt like I was watching a ping-pong match only I would never bet against Alice. And I wasn't the only one watching. On small glance in Edward Masen's direction confirmed that he was also watching the word exchange occurring in front of me. His posture tensed at the end of Alice's last sentence, as if he too picked up the unspoken words that Alice decided to keep to herself. His eyes darkened, his pupils almost blocking out the emerald irises while his hands flexed and curled in fists, his knuckles turning white.

As for myself, I was conflicted. On one hand, I appreciated agent Black's dedication to this _mission_ of keeping me safe until we figured out why people wanted to kidnap me. On the other hand though, his dedication meant no personal space and no decision making whatsoever. I felt like a child in a time when I should have felt in control and sure of myself. Sure, help was good but it wasn't going to last forever and his attitude annoyed me.

"Thank you, Edward! Thank God you had a first-aid kit unlike _someone,_" Alice glanced at Black, "who claimed the same thing! If you're still in the area tomorrow, why don't you drop by? From what I've gathered, we'll have enough food to feed a small army and I wouldn't want it going to waste. Plus, I owe you one."

My head snapped back in her direction, my eyes widening before I could control my reaction.

Edward Masen looked at me but didn't say anything. His stare was almost burning a hole in my head. In an attempt to free myself from the power of his gaze, I dropped my head in my hands and hunched forward.

"I think Mr. Masen has far more important things to take care of than eat the pity food I'll be getting in the next few days, Alice." I mumbled through my fingers without rising my head to look at him. I could feel the heat of his gaze on me and suppressed a shiver. _Damn him!_

My voice didn't betray the nerves that were eating at me or the fact that I knew Masen from a previous encounter. The last thing I needed was for him to figure it out and agent Black to explode. I realized I was in a dangerous position no matter what I chose. Either of the men in front of me brought new consequences with their presence.

"Miss Swan is right. I should get going. I was nice meeting you, Miss Brandon. Agent Black." He bowed his head slightly and left without further words.

From the corner of my eye, I could see Black shooting daggers to Masen's retreating form. He eased his lean body in a black sports car with such grace you would have thought he was a cat. All the while, agent Black kept his eyes narrowed and focused on him like a hawk. _If looks could kill…_

It didn't escape my notice that Alice kept her mouth shut after she heard Edward Masen call Jacob Black 'Agent'.

_She knows._

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**AN: Soooo? You like? What do you think about Edward so far? And what_ is_ his secret? Tune in tomorrow to find out more!  
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	5. Ch 5 - The friend

**AN: Sorry it took so long to upload this. My granny had knee surgery to replace her right knee-cap and I've been keeping her company for the last few days.  
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**I would like to thank you for each one of your PMs, reviews, follows and favorites. It really means a lot to me that you take time to read my little story here.**

**The song for this chapter is Olafur Arnalds - Only the winds.**

**Enjoy!**

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_"I would rather walk with a friend in the dark, than alone in the light."  
― __Helen Keller_

BPOV

I met Alice the day I moved in my dorm room. It was a cold September day even though I was used to the cold Pacific weather, the Chicago cold held a little bit more bite than the one in Forks. In Forks, the humid air seemed to take the edge off of the cold while Chicago would suck you dry only to freeze you afterwards. I wished I could say that I liked the change but I didn't. Not that it mattered anyway. It was a change that would be beneficial for my future and I would have made whatever sacrifice it took.

See, the thing about change is that I always knew when it came. In fact, I planned it to the last possible detail so that nothing could take me by surprise. That's the reason why I hated surprises, gifts and events that were not in my control range. I was a control freak.

All that changed the day I met Alice.

From the moment we shook hands – more like me extending my hand and her grabbing me in a big hug – Alice had become the best friend I could have hoped for. She looked past the walls I had built around myself and managed to sneak in a little bit more each day. I warmed up to her in ways I never allowed myself before. I wasn't a fan of girl talk and sleepovers but Alice changed all that. Granted, she didn't get me out of my shell completely but at least she got me to consider her more than just a roommate.

The thing about Alice that drew me in was her personality. She was fun, chatty, made tons of friends – acquaintances, as she liked to call them – and people just gravitated towards her. She had this calm demeanor that made you smile and relax just by being in her presence. She was also loyal to a fault and helped me with whatever I needed, with very few questions. With her, I let my guard down and believed that not all people around me needed to _get something_ out of their relationship with me.

Right now, though, I wasn't relaxed. I was on edge.

It was Tuesday morning and I was sitting at the breakfast island, staring into space. Truth was, I wasn't just staring. I was thinking and planning. I needed to talk to Alice and I didn't know how to do it. For the first time in my life, I had no idea how to approach a situation like the one that I was currently in. How do you tell your best friend that maybe some people are after you and that by sharing that information you will put her at risk? However, the alternative was worse. Not knowing what was going on got me in this mess in the first place. I would not do it to Alice if I could avoid it.

"Are you going to tell me what's going on or do I have to take matters into my own hands and figure out what you're hiding from me, Bella? You know I can always find a way…" she trailed off with a serious look on her face.

I didn't need to look up at her to know that she was serious. That girl could flirt her way from Alaska to Rio de Janeiro and pay nothing. I've seen it happen. _Twice._

"Something happened on Friday, Alice. Other than… you know."

She pressed her lips into a thin line and stared at me. Too many emotions flickered across her face so I decided to keep quiet while she regrouped. Her face was like an open book for me and right then, Alice was putting two and two together. She was thinking back to Friday, when I called her, about Jacob Black and possibly even Edward Masen.

I kept thinking that maybe it wasn't such a good idea to tell her what had been going on for a few days. Maybe the best thing out there would be to keep my mouth shut and pretend that nothing was really going on and it would just go away… eventually. Unfortunately for me, I knew things wouldn't go away just because I would look the other way and pretend that nothing had happened. Something _did_ happen. _They are dead._

"Does this have anything to do with Jacob Black?" she finally asked. Her dislike towards Black had reached a new level after the funeral and the encounter with Edward Masen. Knowing Alice, she already had a general idea of what was going on. Nothing on this world would ever escape the Pixie if she set her mind to find out what was going on. This is why I needed to tell her, to stop her from raising any flags that would make her a target.

Knowledge is power, right? But, then again, my father also had knowledge and that didn't end very well now, did it? On the other hand, my mom was probably as innocent as I was and she, too, was killed.

"My dad was involved with the Mob, Alice. That's why my parents are dead. That's why Jacob Black is living here. That's why Edward Masen is circling me like a hound circles the bloody deer." I said in one breath, trying to keep as calm as possible considering the circumstances.

My words had stunned her into silence for a couple of minutes and I focused on the pattern of the granite under my forearms in an attempt to think of something else other than what I had just said. I touched the cold surface with my fingertips and started to trace patterns on it. I always liked the feel of the cold granite under my palms.

"When did you find out? Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

I looked up at her but looked quickly away, analyzing my fingers while I gathered my thoughts.

"I… I didn't know if it would be best to tell you, Alice. From what I've gathered, this… situation had been going on for some time, now. And I didn't know anything. I'm not even sure mom knew. Can you imagine that, Alice? Dying without knowing why? I keep thinking about that. I keep thinking about my mom's last thoughts while the life was pouring out of her, slowly slipping away and not knowing why someone would ever do that to her.

"I keep thinking that I should have noticed something… _anything_! I should have known, Alice! My God, I wanted to be a damn lawyer! What kind of instincts did I have if I couldn't see the truth when it came to my own father? He put a blindfold over my eyes and I was none the wiser! I was so stupid! Maybe I still am. Maybe I'm just a puppet. I can't even find it in me to _care_."

"Oh, Bella… you know you don't have to carry this burden all by yourself, right? I'm here. I'll _always _be here, no matter what."

I lifted my eyes from the island and sighed.

"And do you know the worst part, Alice? I don't _want_ to know. I don't want to find out. I don't want to find out what had been going on while I was away at college. Because while I was off living in a fantasy world where I had the perfect parents and the perfect life, my dad was dealing with mobsters and God knows what other people. I just want to remember my parents as the people they were before I left for school. Talking to you about what happened will only make it real and that's the last thing I want right now. Could you please… drop it and just… be nice to Jacob? Please?"

At the mention of Jacob, Alice bristled and narrowed her eyes.

"There's something about him that puts me on the defense, Bella. It's… instinctual. Jacob Black is hiding something and it has nothing to do with the fact that he's an agent. I… I don't trust him, Bella. Promise me you'll stay away from him. Promise me you'll do whatever you need to do just to get away from him."

Alice's voice was frantic, her entire body shaking with an energy that put me on edge in a heartbeat. She spoke with such conviction that made the hairs on the back of my head stand. It wasn't often that Alice was scared and by the looks of it, she was beyond that point. I leaned over the island and gripped both her hands in mine in an attempt to calm her down. My touch soothed her a bit and she was able to calm down a little.

"I can't… at least not for now, Alice. As much as I want to play the independent card here… I'm scared. I don't know who I'm up against."

"What do you mean '_Who you're up against_'? Does it have anything to do with Edward Masen?"

Upon hearing his name, my whole body went rigid and Alice took note of that.

"You met him before, didn't you? The funeral wasn't the first time you saw him."

"You're right. I've met him before. Let's just say that I don't know where his loyalties lie." I whispered the last part.

"Well, knowledge is power so I did a little bit of research on Edward Masen."

My eyes – which had to be the size of saucers – snapped back at her.

"You what?!" I half shouted, half whispered.

"I googled him, Bella. After that whole showdown with Jacob Black, you didn't think I would just stand with my hands crossed and be kept on the sidelines, did you? Anyone who dislikes Jacob Black is worth researching. So I did a little bit of digging…"

I narrowed my eyes at her. She was baiting me. Instead of telling me what she had found out, Alice kept the information to herself until I would ask her to share what she found out. She only did that when she wasn't sure if I should know what she knew. Hell, _I _wasn't sure I wanted to know. Then again, not knowing was no longer an option when it came down to Edward Masen. He obviously knew things about me.

"Okay, I'm gonna bite. What did you found out?"

"His full name is Edward Anthony Masen. He's 28 years old. He's a lawyer who graduated from Harvard, top of his class. He's kicked ass ever since. He's won 4 out of 5 cases against Jacob Black so I guess that's where the _animosity_ comes from. He's ruthless and everybody wants him on their side. However, his clients are very few. Most of them aren't on the right side of the law, or at least that's what the press claims. He's single and comes second after Brayden Olson in Seattle's Top 10 most eligible bachelors.

"He was adopted by Carlisle and Esme Cullen at the age of 10 but never changed his surname, for reasons unknown. He donates to charities and attends galas with his mother on a regular basis. He's very rarely seen with a woman and it's never the same one. Rumor has it he keeps whoever he dates under NDAs. And that's about it."

"When did you find out all of this?" I asked even though I knew the answer. Knowing Alice, it wouldn't take her more than 7 minutes to find out what he ate today for breakfast.

"The minute he turned his back and walked to his car, of course. _Keep your friends close and your enemies closer_, Isabella."

"And what category does he fit in, Alice?"

"I'm not sure, yet. I couldn't get a good read on him. However, I wouldn't rush to put him in the _enemy_ category. Jacob Black – who's supposed to be on the side of the law – gives me the creeps but Edward Masen is a mystery. He's also hiding something but there's a vibe to him…" Alice trailed off and her eyes became glazed over. Before I could say anything to snap her out of her funk, she blinked and smiled back at me. "Let's not worry about that for now. You need to get some sleep. Up you go!"

I nodded my confirmation and slowly pushed away from the island. Our conversation was far from over but, for the time being, it would have to suffice. I hadn't been sleeping more than 1 hour per night since Friday and it was starting to show. I didn't have any energy to move around or do anything other than just sit in my room, on my bed and watch the ceiling.

My head was a mess, no matter how much I tried to get it in order. I kept going over the little information that I possessed only to back paddle and try to erase everything from my mind. It went on and on for God knows how long until my head was spinning and I was dizzy. Still, sleep wouldn't come.

In an attempt to try and get my body to calm down, I wandered downstairs to the kitchen so I could drink a glass of warm milk and, hopefully, make my body _want_ to fall asleep. Unfortunately for me, the kitchen wasn't empty. _So much for trying to stay away…_

"Miss Swan, what are you doing up?"

"Couldn't sleep." I replied without looking at Black who was furiously typing away at the laptop that he had installed on the kitchen table.

"Oh… anything I could do to help? You don't look so good."

_Thanks for the observation, Einstein._

"Get me some of those sleeping pills that Alice has hidden around and I'll be just _peachy_." I said sarcastically but stopped myself from saying anything else.

"Why would Miss Brandon hide the sleeping pills?" Agent Black's voice held genuine curiosity that made me grit my teeth and grip the counter top in an effort to contain my anger.

"Because she has me on suicide watch, agent. That's why you're here." I said in an eerie calm voice. _If only I could get some fucking sleep!_

"Do you plan on killing yourself, Miss Swan?" His voice held an edge to it but I couldn't place it.

His voice resonated through the kitchen, bouncing off the tiled wall that was in front of me, making me cringe away from the echo. My skin broke out in goose bumps and my hands clenched, my long nails digging into the heels of my palms. The skin didn't break but it had indentations left on it which I touched with the pads of my fingers, feeling the slight dip that my nails left behind. There was a coldness in my bones that made me shiver and my migraine was getting worse by the minute. I rubbed my temples, trying to make it go away but it was futile. _Why won't the damned milk warm up already?_

"Miss Swan? Are you OK?"

Agent Black gripped my right arm and spun me around, causing my head to hit the fridge. I saw stars. The contents of the fridge rattled. My knees buckled and I would have fallen on the floor if agent Black hadn't kept his firm grip on me.

Everything around me darkened and I lost whatever strength I had to keep myself upright. The last this I heard was agent Black screaming for Alice.

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**AN: Soooo... Bella wasn't doing as good as it looked. Where's Edward when you need him?!  
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**I will be uploading the next chapter tomorrow since it's pre-written :)  
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**Thank you for reading!**

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	6. Ch 6 - The liar

**AN: Wow, over 1,200 views?! I'm speechless! Thank you _so_ much!**

**Soooo... this chapter is a slow burn but things will pick up starting with the next one.**

**I would love to read your thoughts so far! And speaking of thoughts, would you like an EPOV? I have 2 more chapters pre-written but after that, I could try to write an EPOV and get inside Edward's mind. What do you think? Should I go for it?  
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**The song for this chapter is Placebo - Sleeping with ghosts.**

**Enjoy!**

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_"Deep grief sometimes is almost like a specific location, a coordinate on a map of time. When you are standing in that forest of sorrow, you cannot imagine that you could ever find your way to a better place. But if someone can assure you that they themselves have stood in that same place, and now have moved on, sometimes this will bring hope."_  
_― Elizabeth Gilbert_

BPOV

They say you have to give time some time in order to even start to consider picking yourself up and looking around for sources of relief, of healing or even thinking about moving on. For me, time only mattered when it came down to how much I would have to wait before my dreams would come true. It always stood in my way, never going fast enough for me to reach my goals, to be old enough to do what I wanted, whenever I wanted. It was never my ally.

I never thought about time as a balm to a broken heart. I never needed the time to mourn the loss of a boyfriend because I never had one. I never needed the time to regroup after losing something because I never lost anything. My life was a list with goals that I had been ticking off ever since I made my first list. I never needed time. Now, I _craved_ it.

Considering past experiences, I wasn't an emotional person. I could count on my right hand the times when I cried and still have fingers left to spare. A good grip on my emotions was always my approach. It was something I was proud of, especially since I went to a high school with a population under 300 students and witnessed more drama than I wanted to. Not even the popular soap operas could have ever competed to the soap opera that Forks High was, I swear to God!

Aware that I needed to think things through before lashing out and doing more damage with words that could turn against me, I chose to keep myself in check, no matter the source of my emotions. Happiness or sadness, it didn't matter. They were all kept under a tight leash while, on the outside, a mask of calm was carefully crafted over the growing storm inside my mind.

This situation that I was in was no exception. Sure, I cried on Friday, thinking that I could mourn the death of my parents and lose my iron grasp on my mind. I thought I could leave my guard down. I was proven wrong. That was one mistake I could no longer afford to repeat. At least not in the near future and not until I could put a decent distance between me and my father's past. And was that even possible? My father's actions would forever follow me, both in my career and personal life, that much I was sure.

Two days had passed since the burial of my parents and I was finally alone. It took some heavy convincing and a temper tantrum that would have put a toddler to shame but I had achieved my goal: I was left alone, with my approaching depression to keep me company. I can't say that I did everything in my power to keep my grip on reality because I didn't. I felt numb.

Getting people to leave me alone to wallow in self pity and memories wasn't as hard as I initially thought. The only person that really cared enough to fuss over me being left alone was Alice. She watched me like a hawk and tried talking to me, tried to coax some tears and memories out of me but, in the end, she failed. _My sweet, dear, Alice…_

Monday night had been… _eventful._ Alice was ready to commit murder when she found me on the kitchen floor with Jacob Black looking at me like I was about to die. Her body shook with anger and she was one step from punching agent Black. However, my well-being proved to be more important than teaching Jacob Black a lesson and it didn't take long for Alice to rethink her priorities. I only blacked out for a few seconds but Alice insisted she would sleep with me to make sure I would be OK.

When agent Black pointed out that I wasn't getting any sleep and that I had barely eaten at all the past few days, all Hell broke loose. Alice made me eat until I refused to open my mouth and ran to the guest room to get me two sleeping pills what would knock me out for at least 12 hours. That night was the first night that I didn't wake up screaming or crying.

It felt good.

It would have felt even better if my overactive imagination wouldn't have filled my dreams with bloody bodies and Edward Masen watching from afar as I screamed and begged whoever could hear me for help. I didn't wake up as I would have and it was all because of the sleeping pills. They kept me under a thick blanket of haze, unable to open my eyes and escape the horror that my mind had created. This was the reason why I hated taking sleeping pills but it turned out that desperate situations do indeed call for desperate measures. Needless to say, I would not repeat Monday night's performance too soon. All in all, I had slept for 12 hours without as much as turning. I woke up thirsty as if I hadn't drunk anything for days and my throat was dry and raw.

Alice followed me around for the whole day, refusing to leave my side unless I went to the bathroom. She meant well but I felt suffocated. I wanted some alone time and take things easy but Alice wanted me to grieve. She wanted me to embrace the fact that my parents were gone, to cry and let it all out. I couldn't. I wanted to. God, how I wanted to grieve! How I wanted to curl up and cry myself to sleep, to scream and beg and do whatever it was in my power to let my mind accept that I wasn't going to see them anymore! I just couldn't. I was holding up the fort, holding on to my sanity and I had to keep myself together, at least until I was alone and people wouldn't freak out if I started to scream, throw and destroy things, make my surroundings look like my insides, torn and bloody, broken beyond repair.

So as soon as Alice was sure that I just needed some time alone to sort through my thoughts, she was really easy to convince not to abandon her vacation plans and flew home on Thursday – as long as I promised to call everyday and let her know as soon as something happened.

Thursday was also the day I met Aro Volturi. Physically, he was the opposite of the man who impersonated him on Friday. He had jet black hair and matching dark eyes that would have made you shrink in your seat if you knew you had done something wrong. Personally, I had high hopes regarding the DA of King County but soon realized that that was all they would ever be: hopes. He had the same attitude as the man who claimed to be him. Both men were cold, calculating and emotionally detached. Then again, why would they be attached in the first place?

Deep down, I had harbored the hope that the recent events would make him_ care_ but the only thing Aro Volturi cared about was adding another conviction to his endless list of achievements. The fact that my mother and I got caught in the crossfire didn't faze him. _At all_.

"It was bound to happen sooner or later." He said as if he was talking about some football game.

I gritted my teeth and stopped myself from punching him in the jaw but it took a lot of energy on my part. It felt good to feel the anger, though. It filled my veins and fueled the fire inside me while keeping the pain at bay. I was distracting myself and, yet, I still chose to lie to myself, even for a little longer. I was buying time that wasn't mine to have and it would only be a matter of time before it would come crashing down around me.

Leaving my anger aside, I had to admit that Aro Volturi was good. He was cold, calculating and manipulative while keeping a caring and compassionate mask that made you want to spill your guts to the man. If it wouldn't have been a life or death situation, I might have caved in and asked for his help. However, he was the man that dealt with my father – and keeping in mind that my father was no longer alive – I played the clueless daughter act better than any Hollywood actress in hopes that he wouldn't be interested in me.

So when Aro Volturi wanted to take my deposition on what happened last Friday, I did the only thing I could have done: I lied through my teeth. I withheld information. I conveniently _forgot_. Call it whatever you want. The bottom line was that I did _not_ want to die for a truth that no one cared about. And let me tell you, staying alive was one hell of an incentive, even if, deep down, I wanted to tell the truth.

My deposition was simple: two men, whom I had never met before, took me while pretending to be a part of the Police. One had blonde hair. The other had brown hair. _Not bronze._ I didn't remember their eye color. _Definitely not blue and green respectively._ Their built was average. _A little above average, if I were to be honest… except I wasn't._ The blonde one claimed to be Aro Volturi and I was none the wiser since I had never met the man or seen any pictures. Once I figured out that something was wrong, I somehow escaped my kidnapers and called Aro. I have never seen the men again. _Unless you count Edward Masen_.

The lies fell from my lips with such ease that I surprised even myself. I could have described the men in more detail and I could have also told Aro, and the many other people that were in the same room with us, that one of the men that took me was Edward Masen. I _would_ have done that… if I had a death wish. Needless to say, I was all for living. So I kept my mouth shut and my tears flowing. _A+_

The same day, everyone packed their bags and left. They had left me as bait. The people that guarded the law left me bleeding in a pool filled with sharks. I was caught in the middle and that's where innocent people usually ended up dead. It was an eye-opening experience for me, a girl who until recently thought that the people who served the law would always go out of their way to protect the citizens. That was the ideal with which I grew up, which had been deeply engraved inside my brain from a young age. My entire life, things were either white or black. There was no in-between. _Wrong!_ I had been _so_ wrong.

At first, being alone was good. Being alone gave me the time I needed to go in the kitchen and realize that my dad wouldn't be sitting at the breakfast island with a cup of coffee and the newspaper in front of him. I was no longer running from room to room in the attempt to get away from the memories but rather walking around and embracing the memories that I had in each.

It was hard.

It was even harder to remember how to cry. My tears from Friday were long gone, erased from my memory as soon as I wiped them from my cheeks. _If only the pain would go away as fast._

I needed closure. But, before I could reach it, I needed to grieve. It seemed easy in theory but practice proved to be much more difficult. I didn't have time to grieve. There were more imperative things that needed to be done before I could do that. And yet, the step that I knew I would have to take was looming over me, like a dark cloud. Waiting. _Watching._

The house seemed empty without Alice running around and agent Black watching closely my every move. Their presence filled the house with sounds: a _click_ from a closing door, a creak when they stepped on the third step of the staircase. Without them, the house was silent and in that silence, I grew uneasy. I was like a ghost. I wasn't making any noise, wasn't moving anything and wasn't touching things except when I needed to. I was a guest in my own house, the same house in which I grew up, under the watchful eye of my parents, where I made memories, planned my whole life and always thought I'd end up here, visiting my parents. With them gone, this house felt like a stranger. It was no longer _home_. It was just… a house.

I wanted to get rid of it.

The knowledge that I was left alone in no man's land also made me jumpy. Every time I went out, I looked over my shoulder, as if I was expecting someone to jump out of a bush and grab me. Deep down, I knew that the chances of that happening were as low as possible but a girl needed to stay vigilant, right?

At some point, I even entertained the idea of carrying a gun. I knew for a fact that my dad had a Colt .45 taped underneath their bed but I couldn't find it in me to open the door to their room and enter. The only time I tried to go inside their room was on the morning of the funeral. I only managed to touch the doorknob before my knees buckled and Alice had to ask agent Black to carry me back to my room.

Truth was, even if I did have a gun on me at all times, the chances of a bullet leaving the barrel of my gun before my opponent would put a bullet in me were slim to none. Yes, I was a cop's daughter. Yes, I knew how to hold a gun and shoot. Yes, my aim was as perfect as it could ever be with the training that I had. But let's face it: I wasn't a paid assassin. I didn't have the training nor the skill to make it out alive if someone wanted me dead. The only weapon that I had was my quick mind.

I_ hoped_ it would be enough. I _knew _it wasn't.

Speaking of which, my brain, and my mind implicitly, was currently stuck on Edward Masen. As much as I wanted to deny, he intrigued me. At first, I played it off to the whole 'bad boy' vibe that he had going but after spending a few minutes alone in his company, something told me that it was more than that. I felt safe, even though my mind kept screaming at me and reminded me that he wasn't on my side. A person who wanted to kidnap me could _never_ be on my side. I couldn't fight the feeling, though. My whole being was split in half: a side of me wanted him as far away from me as possible while the other side longed to feel his long cold fingers touching my skin. It was official: I was losing my mind. The death of my parents must have shaken me so hard that all sense of self-preservation had been wiped out of my brain.

I couldn't be attracted to Edward Masen. I _refused_ to be attracted to Edward Masen!

_The lamb doesn't fall in love with the lion, Isabella._ My mind reminded me with a stern tone._ And the lion doesn't fall in love with the lamb. You are smarter than to believe that these things happen in real life._

The problem was that I was smarter than to believe something like that. I was a fine observer of the world around me – with the exception of my parents, apparently – and it was my uncanny ability at reading people that kept me away from the school drama. I stayed away from Tyler as he was looking for a rebound after being dumped by Lauren and didn't fall under Mike's charms as he pestered me to 'give him a go', convinced that he was God's gift to women. The list could go on and on but, the truth was, this wasn't high school anymore. In high school, boys want pretty girls to have sex with and nerdy friends who help them with their grades while the girls either want to befriend you or steal whatever spotlight you have.

In college they just wanted sex, no matter the gender.

Edward Masen, however, didn't fit either category. He was a mystery. A green-eyed, bronze haired, soft spoken mystery. Maybe that was it. Maybe his whole allure was centered on his mysterious presence and scrutinizing gaze. Then again, Jacob Black was also a mystery but I wasn't interested in his story in the least. Therefore, my theory was flawed. Mystery had nothing to do with my sudden interest in Edward Masen. Keeping that in mind, the only other explanation that I could come up with was that he was the most handsome man that I had ever laid eyes upon and I was attracted to him on a physical level. It was just hormones, my body's natural reaction when meeting a partner with good genes that would offer healthy offspring. _It has to be hormones_.

But as much as my hormones wanted to take over, my mind had to focus on much more important issues such as staying alive. As irony would have it, the need to see Edward Masen was clashing with the need to stay alive. _Decisions, decisions._

I kept telling myself that I needed to keep my teenage hormones under control and put on my big girl pants. However, that meant dealing with the death of my parents, my potential bankruptcy and no future as a lawyer so I wasn't in a hurry to fall into the depression that waited patiently just around the corner. In true Bella fashion, I allowed myself to dream about the 'what if's and tried to imagine what would have happened if my dad and Edward weren't involved with the Mafia and I had met Edward under different circumstances. Sadly, the realistic part of me knew that there was no way Edward Masen would be in my life if my dad hadn't been involved with the Mafia. So yeah… I had my work cut out for me since

I decided that I was aiming for a normal life, not one filled with murder every step of the way. Edward Masen will have to look somewhere else for a girl to fall at his feet. _Though I'm pretty sure he's not lacking in that department._

Putting thoughts of Edward aside, I focused my attention on the present and prepared myself for what was going to happen in the near future. I needed a plan. One that involved all things that could go wrong and a back-up plan for each situation that _would_ go wrong. Planning was going to keep me sane. At least for a little while longer.

The reading of my parents' will would be my first step towards forming a plan. Knowing my financial situation was crucial.

I always thought my parents sacrificed their own wishes so that I could have my own car, go to college and own a house by the age of 20. Recent events, however, made me doubt everything I thought I knew. If my dad had been a part of the Mob, it was very likely that everything he owned was, more or less, a payment for his _services_. What I needed to know was the extent of those payments that my dad got. If my father had been under investigation, his accounts should have been frozen. However, that didn't happen. Which brought me to my next question: could I be okay with using money that cane from the Mob? Under normal circumstances, I would have said 'no' in a heartbeat. Now, things were different.

The second step towards regaining some normality in my life would be to disappear. Which brought me to my first question: would I be okay with using said money even if it was just to disappear and never come back? Using the money would mean keeping it (or at least a big part of it), an act that went against every cell in my body. But, on the other hand, survival was only for the fittest, right? Having a moral code when the people going after me didn't possess one didn't seem like a smart idea.

The third, and final step, would be to start a new life. _Easier said than done, though. _My whole life revolved around my dream to become an attorney and now that it became impossible, my life no longer held any meaning. I needed a purpose which was sorely lacking at the moment.

That was me. Always planning, thinking things through and coming up with a plan B when needed. _And a plan C, just in case._

I liked control. I _needed_ control.

But, as luck would have it, I was going to lose it.

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**AN: Like it? Love it? Hate it? Please let me know!**

**See you tomorrow!**


	7. Ch 7 - The heiress

**AN: So far, only sandy4321 wants an EPOV. Anyone else interested? Come on, don't be shy :)  
**

**Song for this chapter: Coldplay - In my place.**

**As always, I'd love to read your thoughts on this.**

**Enjoy!**

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_"When we least expect it, life sets us a challenge to test our courage and willingness to change; at such a moment, there is no point in pretending that nothing has happened or in saying that we are not yet ready. The challenge will not wait. Life does not look back. A week is more than enough time for us to decide whether or not to accept our destiny."  
― __Paulo Coelho_

BPOV

To anyone who has never been in a small town with a population just over 3,000, my hometown can come as a shock.

It's too quiet.

There is no such thing as streets buzzing with life, filled with people rushing to get to work on time, no speeding cars and no blaring horns. No one is ever in a hurry in Forks. It's like time is also taking its own time, like it has another way of flowing. Waiting for time to pass is like watching the rain drops form and waiting for them to fall. At some point in time, you just give up on waiting for the damn raindrops to fall and just do whatever you can to get rid of the boredom.

Maybe it's because no one is looking forward to anything spectacular. Maybe it's because people just take their time and don't stress about all the things they need to get done before the end of the day. Either way, I don't think there is another town like Forks.

Growing up in a town that seemed to never change had its perks, though. I can't deny that.

The first constant in my life was the weather. Forks only had one season and that was the rainy season. It didn't matter if it was summer or winter, you could always count on the rain to spoil whatever plans you may have had in mind for the next day or even the current one. But the people living in Forks didn't mind. Their whole lives were tailored to this damp climate and you could never know if they liked the rain or not. It just _was_.

Another constant was school, where my peers avoided me as if I had the plague. Their attitude towards me was due to the fact that my father was the Chief of Police. No one wanted an _insider_ to know about their petty crimes such as smoking pot, underage drinking, speeding and whatever else they could do to escape their monotone lives. I didn't care anyway so it's not like I cried myself to sleep every night because of their rejection. I just grew tougher skin and a snappy attitude if I needed it.

The kids in my school were never cruel and never made more than a couple of jokes before they moved on to whatever was more interesting. I had known everyone ever since kindergarten so I knew what to expect and when to push back if things got out of hand. Fortunately for me, I only had to prove once that I wasn't a pushover and that if push came to shove, I would push back with all of my strength. There was no need for a repeat performance once I had proved my point.

My parents were another constant in my life. No matter what was going on in my life, I knew that I could always count on my mom to remind me not to over-think things and take things one step at a time and my dad to remind me that it was important to keep in mind the consequences of my actions. My parents made sure that I would grow up to be a balanced individual who didn't rush into anything but who would also take a leap of faith if my instincts told me to.

Needless to say, their death shook me to the core and I found myself doubting everything they ever said to me. I started thinking about each and every decision that I ever took and analyzed every single step I ever took. Did I really make the right choices if I ended up here?

In an attempt to take my mind off of the things that had happened, I went into a cleaning spree.

I scrubbed every inch of the house – including my parents' room – until all I could smell was the lemony perfume of the bleach and the fabric softener that I used when I washed all the linens. The smell made me gag but it still beat the alternative: the smell of their perfume and cologne.

At the same time, I gathered all the things that I would donate to the local shelter in boxes: my dad's fishing and camping gear, my mom's pottering supplies, their clothes and shoes and threw away their toiletries, perfumes and other personal care products and anything that I wouldn't be able to touch without feeling sick to my stomach.

I had to stop on a few occasions because of my crying. The tears wouldn't stop flowing no matter what I did or thought about, though. Every smell, every memory and every picture made me crumble to the ground and gasp for air. _They are dead._

Deep down, I knew that it was too soon to get rid of their stuff but their betrayal hurt more than anything. I needed to get rid of their looming presence, of all the memories that turned out to be nothing more than lies. I focused all my hurt and anger on the task at hand and was able to pack everything away without other emotional breakdowns.

It didn't mean that the pain went away, though. _The pain will become another constant, Isabella_, my monsters whispered back to me. I pushed them back into their cage and locked them away. _I'll deal with you later._

The universe, however, had other plans. My car was in Chicago and the only means of transportation that I had available was my mom's SUV. It was a present from dad when she turned 40 years old and she loved it. Looking at it now, I wanted to drive it in the nearest creek. Unfortunately, I couldn't. There was no one who could give me a ride around town with all these boxes so my plans would have to remain just that… plans.

As soon as I finished putting the last box in the trunk, my phone rang. It was my godfather, Jason Jenks.

_Took you long enough._

"Hello."

"Bella. Hi! Could you come down by my office today for the reading of the will?"

I looked at the boxes in my trunk and figured I could get it all over in less than an hour.

"Yeah… is 2 pm good for you? I gotta drop some stuff down at the local shelter but it won't take too long."

"Of course. See you at 2 pm, Bella."

It was 12 o'clock so that gave me two hours to get everything done. I hopped in the shower and took my time as the hot water eased my sore muscles and relaxed me. I was going to need all the relaxation on Earth once I came face to face with Jason Jenks. He had a lot of explaining to do.

I dressed quickly in some black leggings, a large, green sweater that went off one shoulder, braided my hair, pulled some black leather riding boots and left the house in record time.

One and a half hour later, I entered in Jason Jenks's office.

His assistant gave me a funny look when she took in my appearance but kept her opinions to herself. I took a seat in a comfortable looking chair and waited for a few minutes before two men stepped out of the office. One of them was my godfather and he ushered me in as soon as he finished talking to his client.

Jason Jenks had been my father's best friend ever since high school. He had been my father's best man on the day he married my mom and he was also my godfather. My father trusted him so that lead me to believe that he knew everything my father had done. He had to. He managed my father's finances and advised him when and where to invest. He was also the only living person that knew me and he could shed some light on the mystery that had surrounded me this past week. He could help me. He _would_ help me.

The office smelled like old books, worn leather and ink. It was this combination of scents that always settled my nerves but it wasn't really working at the moment. I tried to focus on the walls covered in books while my godfather rummaged through his drawers, probably searching for the will. I had read some of the books before I went to college, curious to see what I would be studying to become an attorney.

It was quiet times like this one that made me think about everything that had been going on in my life without my knowledge. I had to fight some tough battles with my mind to keep my emotions under control but, no matter how much control I had during the day, it slipped through my fingers during the night. My nights were plagued with nightmares and night terrors as I dreamed about my parents and Edward. I dreamed that I was being tortured by Edward and his companion for information that I didn't possess. I dreamed about my parents and their last moments as I watched them die on the side of the road. Needless to say, I wasn't getting any sleep and it was starting to show. _Again._

"You don't look too good, Bella. Have you been getting any sleep?"

I almost laughed. "Does it look like I'm getting any sleep?" I said without trying to mask my sarcasm.

"Do you want to stay with Irina for a few days? She would really like to see you."

The thought of involving someone else in the mess that I was currently in made my stomach churn. To top it all off, Irina was not one of my favorite persons. She was Jason's second wife and I knew the marriage wasn't based on love. She was just arm candy, artificially enhanced to be paraded around to Jason's clients and make them look up to him as if he were some kind of role model. Truth was, there was nothing to look up to other than his intelligence.

Jason and I weren't as close as one might have thought given the fact that he was my godfather but I respected him nonetheless. People don't get this far without the right amount of brains and that was something to look up to, even though the rest of his decisions, mainly the ones concerning his personal life, left much to be desired.

"It's not necessary. I'll be leaving soon anyway."

"Oh… I thought you could spend your vacation here but, considering the recent events, I can understand why you would like a break away from all of this." Jason said with a gentle smile. "Let's get down to business, shall we?"

"Please."

"I've taken the liberty of looking through the figures and the total amount which you will be inheriting is roughly around ten million, give or take a few hundred thousand."

My jaw must have hit the floor because I sure wasn't in control of it anymore.

"It's a lot of money, isn't it?" Jason said while chuckling.

"It is." I said as soon as I regained brain function. "Which is why I'm going to ask you the next question: where does it come from? And please spare me the crap about _well placed investments_ because I know for a fact that this is not the case."

He looked at me – _really _looked at me – as if now was the first time he saw me. It must have come as a shock considering the whole mystery that surrounded my father's _activities_. I had knowledge of something he probably never dreamt I would find out. And yet, here I was, asking uncomfortable questions, and he couldn't pass the responsibility to anyone.

"Who told you that?"

"You're worried about how told me? Really? After all that's been going on for a week now, you pick _that_ question?"

"It's confidential information, Isabella. No one except me, your father and a few other people were supposed to know. Who told you?"

"Not my father, if that's who you were hoping! I was hoping that you would tell me at the funeral what's going on but you never showed up! You could have tried to contact me before that and warn me about what had happened but you didn't do that either! Instead, you kept your mouth shut!

"Do you know who told me? FBI agent Jacob Black told me, after he picked me up from the supermarket here in Forks, on the day of the _accident_. And do you know why he had to pick me up, Jason? Because I escaped two men who had tried to kidnap me! Do you have _any_ idea what my life has turned into this past week? I'm live bait right now and it's only a matter of time before the sharks start circling and attack! So, thank you for that! Thank you for turning your back on me when I needed you the most! Thank you for not attending the damned funeral and settling for a damn _card_!"

I was angry. Actually, I was _beyond_ angry. I was fuming. I was so pumped up that my whole body shook with rage. I had to dig my nails into the heels my palms to keep myself in check and not throw anything I could get my hands on – like the paperweight that sat in front of me, mocking me, _daring_ me – and hurl it at his head. I have to say I was very tempted.

"_Jacob Black_?! What's _he_ doing here?"

I narrowed my eyes and focused on my breathing to keep my anger at bay.

"He was here because Aro Volturi told him to be here and because he knew about my dad and his _cooperation_. And you would have known about his presence here in town if you were here and not in the fucking _tundra_, chasing reindeers with Irina!"

With each word that left my mouth, Jason paled even further. It was safe to assume that he and Black were not friends. It was official: I was in deep shit and there was no one to ask for help.

"It didn't escape my notice that you didn't freak out about the fact that I was almost kidnapped. You better start talking before I change my mind and go to Aro Volturi and take him up on his offer! I'm sure Edward Masen wouldn't like to have a nice chat with the DA of King County for trying to kidnap me."

His eyes widened when he heard about Edward Masen.

"Start. Talking. Now!" I growled.

It took Jason a few minutes before he regained his posture. I could see the beads of sweat that had formed on his forehead and he was a little flushed. He loosened his tie and wiped his sweat with shaky hands.

"Jacob Black is an FBI agent, as you already know. He was involved in a case in which your father was a witness. Because of your father's _cooperation _to unveil the masterminds and not just the pawns, his record was kept clean. He did it for you, so you could follow your dream and not have his past looming over you. Jacob Black was supposed to keep quiet and not give sensitive information. He wasn't supposed to contact you. He wasn't supposed to be in the same _city_ as you. That was the deal. But it seems like all bets are off once your father died.

"As for Edward Masen… he's a different story. He's the adoptive son of Carlisle Cullen, a powerful man who has his fingers dipped in many pies. Let's just say that he does more than just run Cullen Pharmaceuticals and leave it at that. Your father had a few meetings with Masen. He helped him with a case and Masen owed him a few favors because of that. Your father didn't want to cash those in… at least not while he was alive. I don't know much more than that. Whatever business Edward Masen and your father had, it was between them. You'll have to ask Masen yourself."

I waited for him to continue but minutes ticked by and Jason hadn't said anything else.

_So Edward Masen is not the enemy._

That knowledge left me confused. Why would he help someone who pretended to be Aro Volturi? And who was the blonde man? It seemed like Edward Masen would remain a mystery, at least for the time being.

"Okay."

"Anything else I can help you with?"

I pondered his question for a few moments before answering.

"Yes. Sell everything. Stock, property, everything I own. I want it all sold."

Jason opened his mouth to speak but closed it without saying anything and nodded.

_See? Smart man._

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**AN: Sooo... what do you think?  
**


	8. Ch 8 - The guardian

**AN: It's been a few crazy days here, boys and girls. Between my parents visiting, taking my granny to get her X-ray to see how things are progressing and tons of other things, I haven't got a moment to spare. So yeah... 4 days have passed since I last updated. You're not mad, right? _Right! _Good!  
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**So this is the last pre-written chapter. I planned to post next Monday Edward's POV but only two people have expressed their desire to read it. Is it because you'd like this story to be BPOV exclusively? Would you rather I post Edward's POV as an outtake? Keep in mind that his POV won't be just a repeat of all things Bella has been going through so if you don't read that, you'll probably have difficulty understanding chapter 10, which will be in BPOV. **

**For my guest who reviewed chapter 6: your comment made me laugh! Keep in mind that Bella's going through some tough moments here and she may have some moments when you'll go _WTF?! What are you thinking, Bella?!_ She is human, after all ;)**

**I'd also like to thank you guys for your reviews, faves, follows... I'm truly blown away!**

**Since I'll be writing as you guys review, you can tell me what you'd like to read next and I'll try my very best to deliver the answers. How does that sound? Good? _Good._**

**The song for this chapter is Keane - My shadow. **

**As always, I'd love to know what you think of this so far. Thank you for taking the time to read my little story.**

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_"One rarely falls in love without being as much attracted to what is interestingly wrong with someone as what is objectively healthy."  
― __Alain de Botton_

BPOV

I left Jason's office in a daze. Only God knows how I managed not to wreck the car and kill myself in the process because I sure don't have any idea. My hands were shaking from all the anger that I tried to keep locked away and it made me drive like a crazy person. My craziness was amplified by the fact that I drove stick and each time that I had to change gears, I pushed and pulled as if I was stabbing someone. _Repeatedly._

By the time I reached the house, all I wanted to do was swallow a few pills and call it a day, even though it was barely five PM. My whole body felt drained. I wasn't eating as much as I should have, mostly because I would end throwing up whatever food I could get in my stomach. My stomach – and I – had seen better days. However, in order to avoid medical issues, I would have to eat _something_ before taking any pills and only after that could I consider taking a much deserved nap.

Fate had other plans, though.

As soon as I stepped out of the car and put one foot on the porch, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Mentally, I went over my routine, searching for the missing link that would put me on edge. I remembered activating the alarm and locking the front door. There was no other door to worry about since the front one was the only one I had used ever since I came back to Forks and the alarm would have alerted me if there was any open door anyway.

So the house was out of the question. _Next!_

I looked around the street for anything out of the ordinary but nothing caught my eye. No unknown people, no cars… _Wait!_ There _was _a car. A black sports car. _Edward Masen_'s sport car. _Shit! Shit! Shit!_ I chanted in my head as I struggled to unlock the door and quickly typed the alarm code twice because my hands were shaking so bad I messed it up the first time. _I have to get in the house as fast as possible!_ I shut the door, typed in the code and breathed in a lungful of air to calm down my nerves.

_Safe._ At least for the time being…

Just as I turned around, I saw Edward Masen waiting for me. _What the…? How the…? _Words eluded me. Millions of thoughts were swimming around in my head so fast that I couldn't grasp a single one of them. The hairs on the back of my head stood on end once again and a cold sweat covered me.

I wanted to open my mouth and make a noise, _any_ noise, to stay strong, to turn around and hold the door so he could get out without having to say a single word, to fill my lungs with air and scream bloody murder, to run and never look back into his emerald orbs. I couldn't do any of that. I was… petrified. I was _hypnotized_. _Is this what the victims of Medusa felt?_

I could only stare at him as he sat on the couch in my living room with his elbows resting on his thighs and his fingers cradling his face. He was dressed in what I would call a power suit, everything about him screaming _money_, _power_ and _respect_. My resolve to stay away from him crumbled before my eyes as soon as I saw the anguish that was written in his posture. Every cell in my body longed to be near him and burned with need. My skin broke in goose bumps as if an electric current was sweeping through me. There was a thick atmosphere surrounding us, making it hard to breathe and stand up straight. _Why is he here?_

Every dream, every nightmare that I had about him, disappeared like I was erasing the marker from a whiteboard. I couldn't remember anything other than the feel of his long, slender fingers as they grazed my skin and left a trail of fire in their wake. Instinctively, I touched the marks of the wounds that he had cleaned at the funeral, the familiar half-moon shapes that rose slightly and grazed the fabric of my sweater.

We stood like that, in complete silence, watching each other. I could have sworn that days had passed while the only sounds my ears could pick up were my heavy breathing and my erratic heartbeats. I wished I was one of those girls that had a bag filled with all kinds of crap with them at all times. If that were the case, I would have a can of mace and a chance of getting away _again._ Then again, my traitorous body would vote to stay in the same room with him, consequences be damned!

"How did you get in?"

There was no fear in my voice, just genuine curiosity. How _did_ he get in without a key and without knowing the security code? He'd need _both_ to get in the house and not trigger the alarm. _Damn him!_ How did he get in? Why did he get in? Plus, didn't he live in Seattle? He came all this way to break into my house and stare at me? Was he here to talk to me or did he have some unfinished business in the Forks and decided to check up on me? Oddly, the thought didn't scare me as it would have if I were to see him before my little chat with Jason.

"I have a key and I know the security code." He replied with a shrug as if it was the most ordinary thing on Earth to know security codes and own other people's keys.

And, just like that, I was once again captivated, drowning, and unable of coherent thoughts. _And all he had to do was to speak one short sentence._ I tried to think about anything else other than his presence in my house but I was failing miserably, to be honest. Leaving thoughts of him aside, I tried to think about staying alive but I wasn't even sure that Edward Masen was here to hurt me. However, my mind kept thinking about all the possibilities, creating lists of ways I could get out alive of this mess.

The first thing I could think of was my dad's gun. Unfortunately, it was too far away to even consider it an option of self-defense. The kitchen knives were also too far away for me to even entertain the idea of reaching them before he could reach and grab me. My body was stuck and my mind was in overdrive, ticking off the ways I could escape. Eventually, I came up blank. _I'm trapped! _

His presence was intoxicating, silencing whatever voices were inside my head. Even my inner voice kept her mouth shut and enjoyed the view. _And, my God, what a view!_ I could drown in those eyes and wouldn't regret it. If dying meant that his eyes would be the last thing I'd see, I would welcome death with open arms. _Stupid hormones!_

Instead of giving in, I closed my eyes and summoned my anger to fill my veins once again. The anger reminded me that, while he was not the enemy, he wasn't on my side either. My side was empty, filled only with lies from a life I thought was filled with truth. I couldn't turn to anyone, fearing that they were either against me or just plain clueless and I would do nothing more than to drag them into something that could cost them their lives. There was no such thing as _help._ The sooner I would come to terms with that, I sooner I could get my life back on track and stick to my original plan.

Even though I was innocent, I had been dragged into this war between the law and those against it. Well, I was having none of that. I refused to be just another puppet in this freak show!

"Are you alright?" he asked with a small frown. He was analyzing me, like I was on display and he had to figure me out. It made my skin crawl and I cringed back into the door, away from his velvety voice that would have made me lean towards him, not away from him. I wanted to get out, to get away from his presence that attracted me like a moth to the flame but I knew that in order to get out, I would have to deactivate the alarm _and _unlock the door. That would require at least two minutes that I knew I wouldn't have.

"Why do you care?" I snapped at him. "You're in _my_ house, uninvited, and I'm supposed to do what? Play the part of the nice hostess and ask you if you want tea, coffee or water? Why are you here?"

"I'm here to talk to you." Edward answered with a small sigh and rubbed his hands over his face.

"Talk to be about what?"

"About last Friday, about Monday, about you deposition, about your meeting with Jason Jenks, about your father… there are many things we should talk about and, this time, you're not going to run away or have _Jacob Black_ whisk you away. You're going to stay here and listen to what I have to say."

I stared back at him, unable to form a coherent response.

"You tricked me not once but twice, Isabella. And I fell for it each time, thinking I had the upper hand. I should have known that you would put up quite the struggle. After all, you are your father's daughter." He chuckled and I realized that, during his little rant, he had risen from the couch and stood in front of me, one foot away. His scent made my head spin and I found it hard to keep standing upright. I leaned my head back and heard a small _thud_ once my skull connected with the wooden door. I was trapped. Oddly, I couldn't give a crap. I wanted this _over. It'll never be over_, my mind whispered back at me, _the more you know, the deeper you're in._

"I'm not sure I want to know."

"Well, you don't have a choice now, do you?! If knowing what's going on will keep you from becoming a target and I won't have to watch your every movement to make sure you don't end up dead in a ditch, I'll tell you everything you need to know and more." He snapped back at me before pinching the bridge of his nose and taking deep breaths to relax.

As for me, every sense was on overload because of his close proximity. I could swear my skin tingled and my heart beat faster. I closed my eyes and basked in the feeling of having him close. My erratic heartbeat had nothing to do with fear and everything to do with _him._

"I'm not going to bite. Do you want to take a seat somewhere?" Edward asked with a small smile.

It took me a few moments to regain my voice and calm down. "Yes." _Since when is your voice so breathy, Isabella?_

I closed my eyes again, filled my lungs with air, exhaled and the opened my eyes. I looked at him with as much confidence as I could summon given the situation.

"Then let's have a seat. Lead the way."

I wanted to snap back at him and ask if he didn't already snoop through my house but the survival instincts kicked in so I wisely kept my mouth shut. My temper was proving to be an issue when I was near him. His calm demeanor was making me angry.

I lead the way to the dining room and sat down on one of the chairs, playing with my fingers and tracing patterns on the cold dark wood. I traced each line that was slightly elevated and basked in the feeling. All the while, Edward was watching my every move like a predator stalking its prey.

We sat like that, in complete silence for a few minutes before he cleared his throat and looked away.

"I didn't want to kidnap you on Friday. Looking back, I know how it must've looked but I can assure you that kidnapping you was never my intention. I just wanted to make sure that you got home safely. I just didn't think my attitude would raise any suspicions but I'm no God so I was wrong. You took all the cues and connected the dots faster than anyone I know and you panicked. I would like to offer my apologies for that. I didn't mean to make matters worse.

"I know Jenks told you that I had a deal with your father and he was right. Your dad helped me and now I'm going to help _you_ as a payment for my debt. It's what your father wanted, what he asked in return for the things he did for me. So I'm going to help you disappear, if that's what you want to do after you've sold everything. I'll do whatever is in my power, and even beyond that, to keep you safe. I'll be your ally, your _guardian_, until you no longer need me. No strings attached."

I could only nod my head after that impressive speech. I was stunned. In the blink of an eye, I looked at everything from a new perspective and it made me look as if I had been borderline paranoid when it came to him. I was prepared for him to tell me that he was really a hit man and that he was here to end whatever job he had but I would have never dreamt that Edward Masen was supposed to be my guardian. _Never in a million years._

"Use your words, Isabella. I need to _hear_ your verbal agreement."

There was a hint of desperation to his voice that I couldn't understand and it made me frown.

"I agree. Plus, you'd be the only person on my side here so it's not like I can turn you down. I need all the help I can get so yeah… you'll be my guardian, ally, whatever floats your boat."

Edward's posture relaxed and he smiled. A real smile that made his emerald orbs twinkle and lit up his whole face. I could feel the warmth it radiated. It was like standing next to the Sun and being unable to look away. Not that I wanted to look away. I would _never_ look away if I had my way.

This whole 180 degrees change threw me off. I thought back to the first time I met him, on that Friday that would forever remain etched into my brain. It was such a radical change that I thought maybe Edward was suffering from a multiple personality disorder. His attitude was a stark contrast to the one I had encountered on Friday. Back then, Edward was cold, emotionless to the point of analytical. This time, however, there was another Edward standing in front of me. Something deep inside told me that I was seeing a part of him that not many people got to witness. Even on Monday, his attitude had been cold. Not as cold as the first day I saw him but close enough to make me believe that Edward Masen had an agenda and that my well-being was not on it.

Keeping all previous encounters in mind, I steeled myself to ask some questions and see just how far I could make Edward Masen drop his guard.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure. We have about…" he glanced at his platinum watch "an hour before leaving."

"Leaving?"

"Yes. Before we go into that, ask me whatever you needed to ask."

_Okaaaayy…_

"You said that you got me on that plane and in your car because you wanted me to be safe. Was someone watching me? Was I in danger?"

"Honestly? I don't know. All I know is that once I found out from my sources that your mother and father had died in a fatal car accident, all I could think of was to get you out of Chicago and back to Forks where I could keep you safe until I was sure that no one was going to do anything. You have to understand that your father had a lot of friends in the Mob. When word got out of his cooperation, everyone panicked. No one knew exactly what he had shared with the FBI and there wasn't enough time to infiltrate someone in there if they didn't already have someone in. The Families that already had a mole knew what was going on and took matters into their own hands. I tried to warn Charlie but he wouldn't listen. The rest… well, the rest is history."

"So… no one knew anything about me? Wasn't that supposed to keep me away from all of this?"

"Not really. You're Charlie's sole heir. Apart from all the money, whatever documents, pictures and records he had would end up in your possession. They _are_ in your possession, you just don't _have_ them… yet."

"What?!"

I jumped back from the chair and it landed with a loud _thud_ on the tiled floor. My back came in contact with the china cabinet and a searing pain traveled up and down my spine.

Edward jumped from his seat and grabbed my forearms to keep me upright.

"Are you OK? Did you hurt yourself?"

"No, I'm not OK, Edward! My father put a damn target on my back! What the hell was he thinking?! Wait, don't answer that! He _didn't_ think! How could he _do_ that to me, Edward?" I was screaming, crying, pulling my hair and losing what little control I had left.

I pushed Edward away and made my way to the liquor cabinet to pour myself a healthy dose of whatever I could find. The bottle of Patron was the first thing I saw. Tequila wasn't my favorite but it would have to do. I needed to feel something else other than the gaping hole inside my chest and alcohol would fill it up, at least for the moment. I welcomed the burn as the first mouthful slid down my throat. It made me feel like there still was something I could control.

"That's enough, Isabella." Edward said as he took the bottle from my hand and put it down on the cabinet. "I'm sure you already know that drowning your sorrows will only postpone them. I need you to be that strong, smart girl that I met on Friday. Can you do that for me?"

I looked up at him. His piercing green eyes were staring back at me with such intensity that I found myself swooning. I couldn't look away. We stared at each other for a few minutes as I tried to get my emotions under control. His scent enveloped me as he held me in his arms and it made me dizzy. Or was it the tequila? I hadn't eaten anything since the previous day and even though I could hold my liquor, an empty stomach lowered my tolerance considerably.

Little by little, I gained back control and I nodded.

"Good. As much as I'd like to continue this conversation, we need to leave."

My confused look must have given me away because Edward gave a light chuckle and trailed my jaw with his long fingers.

"If you think I'm letting you out of my sight, you've got another thing coming, Isabella. We're going to Seattle. _Now_."

* * *

**AN: Who saw this coming? Raise your hand!**


	9. Ch 9 - The power

**AN: This chapter has been ready since yesterday but I kept re-reading it and editing it. At this point, for my sanity and your curiosity, it's best I just publish it and get this over with. A Beta would really come in handy to bounce ideas and tell me when it's time to stop writing and just publish the damned chapter already. **

**So this is Edward and his view of the world around him. He's a very complex character and I've had loads of fun writing him. What I've wanted to show is that he's more than just a guy that can help Bella get the answers she's looking for while keeping her safe at the same time. I hope you guys will agree with me after you've read the chapter.**

**This is 8 pages long and I still had a lot of ideas that I didn't put here so… do you mind if chapter 10 continues to be in EPOV? I still have lots of things to explain and Edward would like to continue his story. What do you say? Yes? _Yes. _Good!_  
_**

**Also, this chapter's written in present, not past. It's not something I like to do BUT I think it fits the _action_ better.**

**As always, I'd love to know what you think of this so far so your reviews are precious!**

**I'd also like to thank everyone for reading this. The story has almost reached 3,000 views which is amazing! Thank you!**

**Song for this chapter: Röyksopp – Something in my heart**

**BTW, is anyone listening to these songs while you're reading the chapters?**

**Okay, enough with the talk and on with the show!**

* * *

_"Power does not corrupt. Fear corrupts... perhaps the fear of a loss of power."_  
_― John Steinbeck_

EPOV

Whoever said power will bring destruction to the person wielding it was an idiot. It's like claiming that guns kill, instead of pointing fingers at the person who pulled the trigger. All my life, I've been surrounded with people who never owned their share of guilt and fought tooth and nail to escape the repercussions of their selfish actions. They all blamed the circumstances as if they had been just innocent people who just got the short straw. It made me sick. It made me want to fight against them.

Being an attorney is never as easy as you see in one of those TV shows where the main character gets everything handed to him on a silver platter. People never get to see the dirty side of this job. They just throw opinions around without having absolutely any clue as to what they're talking about while stating that they're entitled to an opinion. Well, fuck that! If you don't know shit, you might as well keep your mouth shut and your head bowed! And that's exactly what the people that surround me do. _They know better by now._

My name is Edward Anthony Masen and I'm the best attorney Seattle has ever seen. Some call me an overachiever, an adopted child that wants to erase his past and rise above his social status, a tainted lawyer who stops at nothing to get what he wants, when he wants. The list can go on and on. They can all kiss my ass. Not that they're not doing it already but hey, you've gotta keep up appearances and at least _look_ like you've got some dignity left. _Not that they have any left._

"Edward?"

My assistant, Kate Smith, pulls me out of my thoughts, as per usual. I am getting lost in my thoughts more frequently as of late. My mom keeps on hinting that I need to have more fun and get away from work but I always brush her off and buy her silence with a lunch every week. Esme isn't fooled but accepts nonetheless.

"Tanya Denali is here to see you… _again_. You wanna see her or are you still busy in LaLa Land?"

Oh, yes. Tanya Denali. There's a special category for women like Tanya. They're smart enough to know better but choose to disregard that part of their brain that's telling them to move along and stop pinning for me. I don't know if I should be flattered or annoyed. Then again, she is engaged to be married next year to a partner here at this firms so I guess annoyed is the only way to go when it comes to Tanya Denali, first year junior and Benjamin's fiancé. Could she get any less classy than she already is?_ I guess today's conversation will let me know._

"Send her in. I trust you already know what to do."

Her huge smile tells me everything I need to know. Kate hates Tanya. While I won't go as far as to say that I hate her too, I still dislike her. Her presence is annoying and she'll pay for it, sooner or later. If there's something that everyone knows, it's that I always cash in my favors and Tanya will pay up, eventually.

"Edward, it's so nice to see you! If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were avoiding me! A month is too long to be away, even for you."

"Hello, Tanya! Get to the point, please. I'm a bit busy here, as you can see."

"No need to be rude, Eddie." _Urgh! I hate that nickname!_ "I just wanted to see you, make sure you didn't change your mind about my offer… you know it still stands… _anytime_."

Oh, yes! The offer to fuck her seven ways 'til Sunday. _No, thank you._

"You already know my answer to that, Tanya. You're engaged. I don't do women who are in a relationship, engaged or married." _Plus, you're clingy._ "Are we done here?"

Her pout is supposed to make her irresistible but all it does is make me glare back. She's like a spoiled brat that's not getting her favorite toy in spite of her tantrum. The only problem is that she's a beautiful 26 year old woman who graduated Law School at the University of Washington, not a child. She's smart, determined, skilled and confident when it comes to her job and should know that it's better to act accordingly. The problem is her love life and it's beginning to out rule whatever qualities I could find in other aspects of her life, including her job.

"I guess we are. See you around. And, Edward, if you change your mind, you know where to find me, right?"

"Yeah…" _Don't hold your breath while you're waiting, honey._

Seemingly satisfied with my answer, she leaves my office with a confident strut and a departing wink. _Oh, Tanya… if only you'd have another brain…_

Unfortunately, I don't have time to think about Tanya or entertain in fantasies because my father walks in with Kate hot on his heels. And, by the looks of it, he knows something that will make me want to smash something.

Carlisle Cullen is the epitome of calm and power, all wrapped up in an I-don't-give-a-shit attitude. Ever since I was a little boy, I've looked up to him and tried to be just like him. A cold head is the only way to go in this business and I've mastered it. I owe Carlisle Cullen everything I am and he knows it.

"I'll hold your calls and take care of everything, Edward. Mr. Cullen, can I get you anything?"

"No, thank you, Kate. I won't be long." He replies with a genuine smile at Kate. "Esme has been asking about you, by the way. I trust my son's not working you to the bone."

Kate beams at him. "Of course he is! That's why I have such a big Christmas bonus. Give Esme my regards. As soon as I find some free time, I'll whisk her away on a trip. It was nice seeing you, Carlisle."

"I come bearing news." He says as soon as Kate closes the door.

Judging from the tone of his voice, I know that whatever he knows will eat a lot of my already precious time on top of putting my temper to the test.

"Well? Spit it out and I'll see how I'm going to deal with whatever it is that you found out."

He smirks and makes himself comfortable on my black leather couch.

"Charlie Swan is dead. So is Renee Swan."

Of all the things that could have happened, I didn't see this one coming. I freeze and allow the millions of thoughts going through my head to start forming a game plan.

"That idiot! I told him to watch his back! I told him that Black couldn't be trusted and he just waived me off like I was informing him on the state of the weather! Stupid cop! Did he at least tell Isabella about Aro? Tell me he did. Tell me he's not as stupid as I thought!"

"I don't know, son. I've tapped her phone and Miss Brandon's but as far as I know, Aro Volturi hasn't been mentioned in any conversation via phone. And what if he did? Do you think Aro will give a shit about her? Charlie's gone, the deal is off. It's only a matter of time before they start showing up to dig for the evidence. I wouldn't be surprised if Aro himself sends them sniffing. He wants those papers as bad as the Family."

I watch the Seattle skyline in an attempt to get my temper under control. Looking down always reminds me just how far I've come and all the sacrifices I've made to make sure I stay here. Isabella Swan is a debt I have to pay as fast as possible. I can't afford anyone to make the connection between her and her father's past _mistakes._ I take a few moments to regroup then turn around to look at my father. He was here to help, not just bring me the news. I was going to need all the help I could get on such short notice.

"We're going to get Isabella Swan out of Chicago and back to Forks. It's a small town so I can get someone to look after her and she'll be none the wiser. Before I do that, though, I'm gonna search Charlie's house to make sure he didn't leave anything lying around."

I call Kate and ask her to make all the arrangements. I am going to meet Isabella Swan today and something tells me my world is never going to be the same.

* * *

I know everything there is to know about Isabella Swan. Her height, her weight; skin, hair and eye color; her grades, her friends, her tastes in music, literature and sports. However, no file could have even prepared me for our first meeting. She's on her knees at the base of the stairs that lead out of the private jet, crying. Normally, I'd be pissed. I'd check the time and think about other things while the person that's crying gets their emotions under control. I don't like emotional breakdowns. It shows how weak people really are. Isabella is no exception to that law but I can see that she's trying very hard to get her mind and body under control and that's something I admire.

One look at the surprised cabin crew and I have my answer: Isabella isn't an emotional person. She didn't cry during the flight or else the crew would be looking around anxiously and want to get away from the scene as soon as possible. Instead, the flight attendant is having an internal battle. She wants to help but doesn't know what has caused the scene in front of her so she just looks as helpless as Carlisle. _What do you know? Isabella Swan is a private person._

The trip to Forks confirms my assumptions. Isabella isn't one of those women to cry and claw at their face just to get some pity and attention. She suffers in silence and prefers to keep her emotions under control. She's rigid and tries to breathe evenly to keep the breakdown at bay. That, however, is not a good approach right now. Her emotions will fill the bottle and once that bottle explodes… let's just say I don't plan on being around when that happens.

But Isabella proves to be an enigma. She runs away from Carlisle and disappears in this God forsaken town.

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking son?"

"Yes. Isabella had no idea who Aro is."

"That and she's smarter than Charlie Swan. I think there's hope for her yet."

I don't agree with him, though. Her father wanted her away from this mess and I promised him I'll do everything in my power to make it happen.

Little did I know, Isabella Swan would to be a part of this world whether she likes it or not. The moment she met Jacob Black, her fate was sealed. _Fate is starting to piss me off._

* * *

I stay away from the funeral but always keep my eyes on Isabella. She looks good in that black dress and would be even more beautiful if her eyes were alive. But they're not. They're empty. Her emotions are locked away from anyone that could see what's going on and try to help. She cringes away from the hugs and whispered words. She doesn't seek comfort. She's nothing more than a cold statue made or marble: her full lips don't move and her icy blue eyes don't close. She only watches as the two caskets standing in front of her are being lowered into the ground.

I find myself fascinated with Isabella. I expected denial, anger, tears… _anything_! Instead, I find silence. In a way, it's refreshing. In all my years of practicing Law, I've never seen someone as detached as she is, at least on the surface. It makes me wonder what's going on inside that pretty little head of hers. It makes me want to know what would make her crack and break down. It makes me _curious. _She makes _me_ curious. Emmet would have a field day with this!

A few minutes after the caskets have been lowered into the ground, Alice Brandon approaches me.

"Hi! Did you happen to come here with your car, by any chance?"

"Hello. As a matter of fact, I did. Is there anything I could help you with…?"

"Alice Brandon. Look, I need a first aid kit and people are just dragging me left and right around here so if you have one, could you go to Charlie's daughter, Isabella, and help her? She's right over there." Alice points to Isabella's figure, her thigh clad legs sticking out of the back seat of Black's car.

"Sure. My name is Edward Masen, by the way. Take your time, Alice. I'll let her know you're being held up here."

"Thank you. I'll be there as soon as I get rid of these people here."

I approach Isabella as a hunter would approach an injured animal. She seems to be enjoying the warmth of the sun as it splashes onto her face. She glows, like an angel, taking my breath away. _Exquisite _doesn't begin to cover it.

"Hi."

My words break her out of her trance. She analyzes me for a few seconds before some kind of recognition flashes through her eyes. It's too fast for me to understand what's going on before she locks down again. _She didn't recognize me_. I breathe out a lungful of air. _So far, so good._

"Your friend, Alice Brandon, sent me with the first-aid kit. She got held up but promised she'll be here as soon as possible. Now, what do I need to patch up?" I continue as if she spoke back. She remains silent, denying me the opportunity to hear her lovely voice once more but shows me her arms. My eyes widen slightly as I look at the half-moon marks covering her upper arms. It looks as if she dug her nails into her skin and one quick look at her nails confirms my theory. They're not acrylic but they still did some damage.

I start cleaning the wounds while I keep on talking, trying to coerce her out of her shell but no topic seems to be working. I give her my condolences even though I don't mean it. Her father was an idiot and he had it coming.

As soon as I'm finished, her attention shifts towards something behind me and it isn't long before I know exactly who's behind me.

"I don't recall you being invited here, Edward Masen." Jacob Black sneers. I have to give it to the idiot: he has balls. Too bad he doesn't also have a brain. If he did have one, he would have kept his mouth shut and pretended he never met me before. Talking to me as if I were his enemy before he secures Isabella by his side is a rookie move. She hasn't chosen sides yet and this could prove to be a mistake that could cost him everything.

"Funny, I could say the same thing about you too, agent Black. I don't think dogs were invited here." I say with as much disgust I can muster. And, trust me, there's a lot _more_ where that came from.

Oddly enough, Black keeps his mouth shut. _Good boy!_ He plays the part of the concerned agent to a T and my stomach roils. He asks about Alice and it takes everything in me not to gloat and tell him that Alice asked for _my _services. He looks nervous, probably because he's here alone and there's nothing he can do if someone from the Family followed me here and decided to take Isabella out of the equation. Black has no idea that I wouldn't let that happen but I keep my mouth shut and my eyes trained on him. He's got a lot of nerve to be here and play this part when he should be far away from her, like Charlie demanded.

Before the tension could keep on rising, Alice appears and takes in the scene unfolding in front of her.

"I got stuck with people that wanted to come by after the funeral and drop casseroles filled with food. What's the matter?" Alice asks in an innocent voice but her posture tells me that she might have caught a few things on her way here.

"I thought we agreed you would stay by Bella's side at all times, Alice." Black says a little too forcefully through gritted teeth. Isabella shrinks back in her seat as if she wants to disappear. Can't say I blame her, though. Black can be an intimidating fucker when the situation needs it. Unfortunately for him, I know he's only bark and no bite so I couldn't give a shit less about his _attitude_.

I expect Alice to cover back and calm her temper but her attitude surprises me once again.

"And I thought we agreed that she wasn't a child and didn't need a babysitter." Alice says with equal anger and fixes him with a glare of her own. "I won't let you bully me, _Jacob_, no matter how much of a good _friend_ you are to Bella."

_So she's got a bite of her own, Black._ Her words make me tense. She doesn't believe Black is Isabella's friend. _Smart girl_. And why would she? She probably knows Isabella better than anyone and Black doesn't give the vibe of a caring friend no matter how many acting classes he may have taken. I don't have enough time to ponder this new development because Alice directs her attention my way in the split of a second.

"Thank you, Mr. Masen. Thank God you had a first-aid kit unlike _someone_" Alice glances at Black, "who claimed the same thing. If you're still in the area tomorrow, why don't you drop by? From what I've gathered, we'll have enough food to feed a small army and I wouldn't want it to go to waste. Plus, I owe you one."

I'm speechless and struggle to find a way to turn her down. I would have liked nothing more than to accept her invitation just to piss Black some more but duty calls. My free time is almost none-existent these days, especially since Isabella ran away on Friday and I had to make sure she didn't know who I was and wouldn't tell anyone what had happened.

However, Alice's words got a reaction from Isabella. Her head snapped in Alice's direction and her eyes widened slightly. _Interesting reaction, Miss Swan. I thought you didn't know me._

"I think Mr. Masen has far more important things to take care of than eat the pity food I'll be getting in the next few days, Alice." she mumbles through her fingers without rising her head to look at me. _I wonder… but now is not the time._

"Miss Swan is right. I should get going. I was nice meeting you, Miss Brandon. Agent Black." I bow my head slightly and leave without saying anything else. If Alice thought Black was Isabella's friend, she would know now that he's lying.

_Oh, Black. It's too easy to screw with you._

* * *

**AN: Have I answered some of your questions? If I haven't, which ones _do_ you want answered? Ask me and I'll be more than happy to comply.  
**

**Did you like Edward and Carlisle? They do make a kickass team is you ask me :D AND there's a lot more where that came from!**

**'Til next time (Wednesday)!**


	10. Ch 10 - The truth

**AN: Hi there! Remember me? Yes? G_ood._**

**I could say that I'm late with this update because real life has kept me busy but I'd be lying. Truth is, the flu has kicked my behind big time. I haven't had the flu for... almost 5 years now. I guess I needed a refresh. So yeah... I've had _loads_ of fun this week... _NOT!_**

**I've replied to a couple of your reviews but none of you answered back... was my reply so good that it stunned you into silence or is it possible that you don't have your PMs activated? Please check that :)**

**So this is part II of EPOV. It should explain some things and keep others vague. After all, this is just the beginning of one really bumpy ride. Keep in mind that these characters are _not_ perfect and they can only learn from their own mistakes and experiences. And I have lots of plans in that particular department.**

**For those of you who read my story: thank you!**

**For those of you who review: thank you! You make my day and I am very grateful for every word you write!**

**The song for this chapter is _Sleepstar - I was wrong._ The ending of the song matches perfectly Edward's thoughts at the end of the chapter.**

**On with the show!**

* * *

_"People often claim to hunger for truth, but seldom like the taste when it's served up."  
― __George R.R. Martin_

EPOV

It isn't hard to shut down any emotion that your brain can come up with if you've done that for your entire life. I speak from experience. _Lots of experience in that department._ It doesn't matter if we're talking about relationships with friends, clients or girlfriends, the result is the same: I always keep a safe distance from those around me. The only exception to my rule is my family and I plan to keep it that way for a little while longer.

The problem is that recent events have made me reconsider my view of the world around me. Thus, my plans could suffer minor adjustments.

"You know, that glass won't start talking just because you've been glaring at it for the past two hours." Kate's teasing voice snaps me out of my daydream and makes me look at her. "Are you going to tell me what's going on or are you going to continue the silent interrogation?"

"What?"

My mind is too far gone to make sense of what she's talking about.

"You've been staring at that glass of Scotch ever since you came back from wherever you've been gone this morning so, come on, start talking. What's going on?"

"Who said _something_ is going on?"

"Your attitude. Ever since you went on that 'meeting' with Carlisle on Friday, you've been acting weird. You dropped everything on Friday even though you knew you had Pattison scheduled for 2 PM. You haven't answered my calls all weekend. On Monday, you do it all over again with no explanation whatsoever then you come looking like a zombie and everyone's walking on eggshells around you. So excuse me for trying to help!" Kate shouts in my face but makes no move of leaving my office.

Truth is, she's right. It's not in my nature to drop everything without prior notification and I've done it twice in four days. I hang my head in shame. Kate is more than a simple assistant. She's my friend and the sister I never had. She gets me on a level that's borderline freakish on a few occasions but it's only because she cares. I put the glass on the coffee table in front of me and rub my hands over my face.

"I don't know where to start, Kate. It's so fucked up… and it's my entire fault!"

"You know what they say… start at the beginning and work your way from there." Kate says with a small smile and eyes filled with compassion. "Before you do that though, let me get a glass for myself. Something tells me I'm gonna need a stiff drink."

I wait for her to get her drink and take a huge gulp out of mine. The amber liquid burns a trail down my throat and I suppress a shiver. It's been a while since I needed a drink to calm down my thoughts.

"Do you remember the case we had last year when Marcus was sued for malpractice?"

"When the hospital wouldn't touch the case and refused to give him the malpractice insurance?"

"Yeah… You remember when some new information was dropped in my lap at the last possible minute?"

Kate's look tells me she remembers and wills me to continue but my words are stuck in my throat. I take another sip from the glass in an attempt to stall my story. It's not like I don't trust Kate with the information I'm going to share with her because I do trust her. However, the more people know, the bigger the chances of this exploding into my face. _Not that it hasn't already blown up in your face, Edward_.

"Go on."

"I lied. It didn't just drop in my lap, Kate. I searched high and low for evidence on that case and came back empty handed. Then I talked with Carlisle and he got me this man, Charles Swan, a dirty cop, to get me some Intel. Charlie found what I needed to make sure Marcus would be safe and, in return, I owed him a favor: to take care of his family in case something happened to him.

"That was a year ago. As luck would have it, he was killed on Friday in a car accident, with his wife. That's why I bailed out like that. And today… today was the funeral."

"Something tells me there's more to this story than you've told me so far. Spill it already!"

"Charles Swan had only one heir, a daughter, Isabella Marie Swan. She's in college in Chicago and took her last exam on Friday. She's 20 years old, beautiful, smart and has a hard time making friends. In case Charlie and his wife died, Aro Volturi was supposed to take her under his wing and keep her safe until the waters settled. I was Plan B in case Aro couldn't keep his part of the deal he had with Charlie. Over the last couple of months, things went a little crazy and I kept telling Charlie to tell Isabella about Aro but he never did, apparently. Carlisle kept a close eye on Aro once he found out the news about Charlie and his wife. Aro wasn't making any moves to get Isabella to safety, even though he knew about the accident before Carlisle."

"So Plan B was activated."

"Yeah… except Charlie didn't want her involved with me or Carlisle or anyone from _this side of the law_, as he put it. The idiot thought he had more time to prepare a plan to introduce me to her without telling her who I was so I was left to come up with a viable plan since no one was reacting and his daughter's life was on the line. Unfortunately, I couldn't just pop up and introduce myself as her father's friend when I didn't have any idea if she knew anything about me or if she already knew who I was and had an opinion about me. So I got her out of Chicago on a private jet so no one would know that she was no longer there and pretended I was nothing but a driver when I picked her up from the airport and took her home. Carlisle played the part of Aro Volturi in case Charlie told her anything and all was well… until it wasn't.

"Turns out, her father didn't tell her shit. She never reacted to 'Aro' and didn't seem too fond of the idea that she had to talk to him. Somehow, Isabella realized Carlisle wasn't Aro and ran away from us the first chance she got. She got her hands on Aro's number, called him and guess who he sent to pick her up. Jacob Black!"

Kate's eyebrows shoot up to her hairline but she keeps silent. She could never stand the guy, not even when he and I weren't as driven against each other as we are right now.

"So he's been sniffing around like a dog while Isabella seems to be in some kind of shock and I don't see her snapping out of it too soon. She didn't recognize me at the funeral which is good… _I think_. All I wanted to do on Friday was to get her home safely and then put someone to look out for any signs that could indicate the Family's interest in her and take a step back. Now Black is all over her and there's nothing I can do until he's summoned back to the hole where he crawled out of.

"And do you know the best part? Charlie hated Black with a passion and didn't want him near his daughter! I bet he's rolling in his grave right now, the idiot! That's what he gets for not speaking when he was supposed to!"

"Okay, let me see if I got this straight. You were supposed to take care of this girl without interfering so you cooked up this plan to get her home safely and wash your hands off of her. It backfired on you when she realized something wasn't adding up and she went straight into the arms of your nemesis and, most likely, you're the one that pushed her there in the first place." Kate says with a small smile.

"Yeah…"

"Did she tell anyone about the little _encounter_ on Friday?"

"Yes. That's why Aro sent Black to keep her company."

This information makes Kate frown but she still continues her assessment of the situation.

"But she hasn't mentioned you or Carlisle so far or you would be doing some serious damage control instead of looking at that drink like it holds the answers to all of your questions."

"As far as I know, she hasn't. Carlisle will be the first one to know once the words leave her mouth."

Kate purses her lips and takes a few moments to think about everything I've said while I look at her, waiting for an objective opinion. Then again, what am I really waiting for? Do I want Kate to tell me that it's OK and that I did well? I know better than that. The result is staring me in the face and it isn't the one I wanted to see. My plan crumbled before my eyes when Isabella ran away from me. But isn't that what I wanted in the first place?

"I still don't get why you're here at the office, at 6 PM, brooding."

My head snaps in her direction and I come face to face with a full smirk.

"Well, damn! I never thought I'd see the day…"

"What day?"

"Oh, come on, Edward! Even a blind man could see! You like Miss Swan."

"You're mistaken. I do _not_ like Isabella Swan."

"Really?" she asks with a raised eyebrow that shows how little I managed to convince her. "I think you're full of shit! That girl got under your skin and that wasn't a part of your plan. You wanted to get rid of her as smoothly as possible and continue your life as if nothing happened. But life apparently has other plans… and that's why you're acting like a teenager chewing his nails before his first date, waiting for my advice. But, rest assured. I shall coach you, young grasshopper." She finishes her little rant with a wink and a big gulp of amber liquid.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you're making fun of me." I say with a smile.

"And since you _do_ know better, you know I'm making fun of you so you don't need to say it out loud." She quips with another smirk.

We stare at each other for a few minutes, neither of us breaking the pleasant silence that settles in the room. This easy banter between us always made me feel better, no matter the source of my angst. It felt good to know that, no matter what, Kate would be by my side and make sure I never end up taking myself too seriously. God knows I have enough people who kiss my ass all day.

"Seriously now, what's the problem? Isabella Swan is in Aro's protective custody, just like Charles Swan wanted. So what if Jacob Black is sniffing around? Knowing you and how meticulous you are, he'll find nothing that could connect you to Charles Swan. You panicked for nothing. Unless… there's another reason for you to be all pins and needles. You actually _care_ about this girl and her well-being."

I'm silent. Kate's right, of course. As far as I'm concerned, I'm completely covered. The same can't be said about Isabella Swan, though. The sharks are circling and she's an easy meal if they decide they're hungry. Up until now, that thought wouldn't have made me feel anything. Innocents are always caught in the crossfire and Isabella's case isn't different form the hundreds I've come across during my lifespan. However, I can't seem to shake the image of Isabella cringing away from Black's touch. I feel my blood boiling and my fists flexing at the thought of Black touching Isabella. _Whoa, there! Possessive much?_

"She made me curious."

"Did she now?"

"Yeah… "

"I don't remember the last time I heard you say that about a woman."

"I don't remember either. Probably when I was a teenager and didn't know where to stick it."

Kate snorts in a very unladylike manner while I let out a full blown laugh. It feels good to laugh, especially now when my thoughts are raging like a storm inside my head. I feel my frustration leaving my body and, for the first time in days, I allow myself to relax, even for a few moments.

"Here's my advice, boss: take things slow, don't overwhelm the poor girl and be prepared to grovel for your attitude on Friday. If I were her, I'd keep you in the doghouse for at least a year!"

With those last words, Kate drowns her last gulp of liquor and bids me goodbye, leaving me staring at the Seattle skyline. Grovel? I've never done _that_ before. _Shit!_

* * *

Three and a half days have passed since I last saw Isabella Swan.

One hour has passed since I read her deposition and saw the attached video recording.

And I'm still thinking about her.

In the back of my mind, I'm aware that I shouldn't be thinking of her now that she cut all ties with everything that has happened on Friday. She lied on that deposition but the only two people that could tell that were me and my dad. We went through it a few times, searching for a flaw in her story that could put her honesty under question but nothing came up. Isabella's story is flawless and if she hadn't been falling apart when she contacted Aro, no one would have believed she couldn't remember the two men that tried to take her. But she did and everyone took the bait. _Hook, line and sinker! Smart girl!_

"Did Isabella say anything to you at the funeral?" Carlisle asks with a neutral tone and posture but I can sense the tension in his muscles from a mile away. He's more invested in this than he lets on and it's because Isabella has no one else left to protect her for the consequences of her father's mistakes. That and the fact that she's sitting on a fucking gold mine!

"She wasn't in the best state of mind, dad. Physically, she was present. Mentally… that's another story. She wasn't saying anything except for the polite answer to all the condolences she was getting. She wasn't touching anybody except for her friend, Alice Brandon. It was like she just… _shut down_. In light of recent events, I'm not sure I would have done anything differently.

"Alice Brandon invited me to the Swan house saying they would have enough food to last them for days and that's when Isabella reacted. She spoke to Miss Brandon as if I wasn't present and dismissed the invitation so I took it as my queue to leave them alone."

"And Jacob Black was already there."

"Yeah…"

"Son, I've been thinking about this for a few hours now. It makes no sense for Isabella Swan to turn away from Aro Volturi especially since she's the one who contacted him in the first place and asked for his help. So I ask myself this: why isn't she telling them about me? If she knows nothing about her father's _extracurricular_ activities, why won't she press for answers? Why isn't she asking Aro why anyone would try to impersonate him? This isn't the behavior of someone who has no idea what's going on. Isabella _knows_. Not to the extent that she might be in danger but the exact amount to get her to dig deeper and try to find out what's going on. Considering the fact that all eyes are trained on her right now, that's not a good thing." Dad says with a cautious voice.

_Shit!_

"So you're telling me that she's _next_?!" I say with my voice barely above a whisper. I can feel myself growing more and more restless with every second even though my minds screaming at me that I shouldn't care. I tried to keep Isabella away from the world in which her father had dragged her in. Granted, he did it unwillingly and he died trying to make sure she would never know what had been going on but his efforts are being proven futile. _I have failed._

"I'm telling you that her mother was not supposed to be in that car and the fact that they both died shows just how desperate people are getting. A lot of effort is being put into sweeping this whole story under the rug but Isabella will inherit _everything_ her father left behind. Some of the things she will get might not have been destined for her but for Renee Swan. However, Mrs. Swan is dead so everything will end up in Isabella's lap. Nobody thought this through and now they're putting everything out there in the hopes of getting their hands on whatever evidence Charles Swan had in his possession. On the other side, there's Aro that needs some heads to show to the world and Black's need to prove that him handling this case was not a mistake. She's _right_ in the middle. You do the math."

My father's words leave me stunned. Stunned. _Edward Masen has officially left the building!_ Pulling myself together, I reign in all my emotions and lock them away. I need a clear head if I'm gonna have a game plan. Then again, why would I need a game plan for a girl that has nothing to do with me? I pause my thoughts and look up to my father.

"I don't know if I want to do the math, dad. I chose my side when I had the chance to join the Family and didn't take it. Sure, I still have ties to it and that's fine with me as long as I get to control with whom I come in contact with. I won't be anyone's attorney if you people start killing each other. That's a pie I'm never going to taste and I plan to keep it that way." I look him straight in the eye to convey my message and he nods in response. _Good._ "That being said, Isabella isn't involved in this mess… _yet_. Do I really want to start taking sides before the fight starts all for a girl I knew nothing about until a year ago?"

A few moments of silence stretch between us. Carlisle's thinking, plotting, planning. I'm just staring down from my ivory tower, thinking about Isabella Swan. The girl caught my attention for reasons unknown to me and I'm not so sure I want to get involved in this clusterfuck. My father, however, has other plans.

"I'm going to keep an eye on her. Jenks is supposed to meet with her tomorrow and he's under strict orders to put me up to speed with everything that's going on. If she knows anything, you're getting her out of Forks, no questions asked. Have I made myself clear?"

"What?! Are you kidding me? Why would you want to get involved in this mess?" I stand up from my seat and pace around the office like a caged animal searching for an exit it knows it's not going to find.

"Of course I want to get involved! This girl will, most likely, have information that could bring several families to their knees and I plan to have her by my side when that happens. I know for a fact that Charlie Swan had nothing on me so I'm not scared about the information he gathered. I want leverage over these idiots that are running around like headless chicken. You may not know this but there's a battle for power going on for a few years now. Then Charlie Swan switched sides and all hell broke loose. It's the chance I have been waiting for. I'm not doing it to get more power because, honestly, if being the Boss means having these idiots under my command, I'd rather throw myself under the bus than clean up after their every fuck-up.

"You say you're not sure if you want to get involved in this and I understand. You're in a very difficult position and you can't take sides. I'm fine with that. Be Switzerland. Be the neutral observer. However, I'm _not_ going to stand by and watch the bloodbath start. By the time that happens, it'll be too late to save her. By the looks of it, someone's restless to end the Swan bloodline. I don't know who but that doesn't mean I won't _find out_. I need her near me, under constant surveillance, if I want her alive and well.

"You saw Isabella on Friday. If I had any doubt concerning her innocence, our meeting erased all thoughts of that. But make no mistake, something changed on that Friday for Miss Swan. She found out something that made her keep quiet during that deposition. She doubts everyone around her, except for that friend of hers, Alice Brandon. A smart move if you ask me. Without knowing it, she's been applying a motto that has guided me for decades: _trust no one_. Apparently, that includes Aro Volturi, her father's Plan A, who didn't give shit about her when he should have gone running her way. He's going to regret that move."

I stare at the mastermind that is Carlisle Cullen. During his _little_ rant, the calculating look never left his face. He's a man on a mission and won't take no for an answer. I know that particular information because I have the same look when I'm out for blood and won't stop until I get what I want. However, we're talking about an innocent girl that knows nothing about this side of the line and she's going to be sucked in this mess. I'm torn. _Being Switzerland sucks!_

* * *

As soon as Carlisle confirms that Isabella knows about Charlie and his _activities_, I drive out of Port Angeles like the Devil's on my tail. I make it in Forks in record time and take a seat on the couch in the living room.

The house is nice, just like the first time I was here, in Charlie's office, pouring over documents with him and searching for things that could give me leverage to help Marcus. There's one difference, though: it's cold. Not cold as in freezing but more like empty. It's spotless and impersonal. All the trinkets and personal touches are no longer sitting on the furniture and warming up the room. Every sign that a family lives here has been wiped out.

I remember what Carlisle said about Isabella wanting to sell all assets, including this house, and a wave of pity washes over me. This girl has had the rug pulled from under her when she hasn't even regained her footing in the first place. It makes me wonder what I would do in her place. How would I react if I found out that I had been surrounded by lies for God knows how long? I'd probably be paranoid and watch out for people to jump from bushes and ambush me. _Crazy much?_ Then again, I've always known the truth about my past and my parents. There are times when I wish I was blissfully ignorant.

All thoughts fly out the window once Isabella enters the house. She's all I can think of. She invades all my senses until she's all I can see, hear, smell and feel. Her skin is so soft, like liquid silk. The more I touch her, the more she draws me in. The pity I felt moments ago is replaced by a mix of new feelings: the need to protect, to own, to possess. _Is there anything I wouldn't do for this perfect creature standing in front of me?_

I vaguely remember a quote I once read in college. _Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with the powerful, not to be neutral._

Looking down at her as she battles her demons and fears while I trail the edge of her jaw, I have my answer: there's nothing I wouldn't do to keep my promise to Charlie Swan. And it has nothing to do with him and everything to do with _her._

_And there goes Switzerland._

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**AN: Any thoughts? I'd _love_ to read them!  
**


	11. Ch 11 - The compromise

**AN: Hi there! Miss me?**

**With the risk of dragging this on more than it should, I felt the need to continue Bella's conversation with Edward so we could get inside her head and see what's going on in there. **

**Some of you liked reading Edward's point of view so I was wondering... would you like to read some more in the future? I'm not thinking chapter 12 but... _soonish_? What do you think?**

**Also, I'd like to set up an update schedule. Two updates per week, Tuesday and Saturday? How does that sound?**

**The song for this chapter is Parachute Youth - Awake now.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_"Indeed the safest road to Hell is the gradual one-the gentle slope, soft underfoot, without sudden turnings, without milestones, without signposts."  
― __C.S. Lewis_

BPOV

I've watched many movies and read many books in my 20 years of living but I could never understand how a woman can just fall at a man's feet with just one smile from him. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for romance, love and flowers but I never thought it was possible to lose yourself and everything you hold on a pedestal with just one _look._ I mean, come on! You've lived a life without the man and one glimpse of him is all it takes to make you swoon and your knees give up on you?

Let's be realistic here. These things only happen in movies. Real life is filled with angst, broken hearts and pain. It has to be this way. It's the only way to grow up, to learn the difference between good and bad. In order to be strong, one has to carry out many battles, mostly with themselves, and come out victorious. And the truth is, not many can take pride in winning those battles, much less the war.

You're not strong if you get everything you want on a silver platter without having to fight for it. You never learn the value of true feelings and true friends if you never make sacrifices to have them. I remember all the moments when I took my parents and their love and support for granted. I thought that if I did what was expected of me and kept my end of the bargain, I would, one day, pay my debt to them. Truth was, I could never repay them, no matter the sacrifices, no matter the successes that I would have had under my belt.

It took them dying and me finding out their lies to throw me in limbo. Suddenly, I had no purpose in life. My emotions were all over the place in the past few days and I let it happen only because it was the only way I could avoid the pain. I would take confusion and mix it with whatever I could get my brain to supply if it meant keeping the pain at bay for just a little while longer.

Everything I remembered, everything I learned from my parents, everything that I wanted… was based on a lie, a lie that would cost me my hopes and my dreams and leave me in total darkness, with no sense of direction. _How does one recover from that?_ How does anyone bounce back from such a blow?

As I stared into Edward's emerald orbs as he touched my face, my thoughts were all over the place. It would have been so simple to close my eyes and allow him to guide me wherever he desired. But I was never one to go where the tide wanted to drag me. I always stood my ground and refused to compromise. So why did it feel like I wanted to let myself be swept away by Edward's nice words and hidden intentions? Why did I feel like those girls that looked at a boy and threw everything away, including their principles? Why was I allowing him to steer me? Was it because I was running away from the _real _problem? _You know the answer to that, Isabella._ Yes, I did know it. I was running away but that wasn't necessarily a smart move.

I closed my eyes and shook my head to break away from the spell that Edward had put me under. It would have been so easy to believe that he wanted to help me without getting anything in return. It would have been so easy to allow myself to believe in a fantasy where my parents weren't ripped away from me because of my father's bad decisions. It would have been so easy to just close my eyes and let the chips fall wherever they may.

But I wasn't that person. It wasn't in my DNA to close my eyes and blindly follow people to wherever they want to take me. I didn't believe anyone would do something without getting anything in return. No matter what, it all came back to giving and receiving, whether it was money, attention or just feelings. _People always want something in return._

I studied Edward on Monday at the funeral but I quickly realized that he was very good at hiding his feelings. _Or maybe he just didn't care, Isabella._ Yeah, that too. However, the man standing in front of me was his exact opposite and that fact made me curious. Which one was the real Edward Masen? There was a chance I hadn't met him yet. _A really big chance,_ my mind whispered back at me. The most important question was whether I wanted to know what he wanted in return. _Of course you want to know!_ my mind replied with a smirk.

I decided I needed to focus on something else instead of questioning Edward's every move. I would have enough time for that later.

"Why do I need to leave?"

"You told Jason to sell everything. Then there's the issue of your security while you're waiting for that to happen… Plus, I owe it to your father to keep you safe." He said slowly, gauging my reaction. I wasn't convinced.

"Earlier, you said you didn't know if I was in any danger. Now you say I have to leave, because of this _issue_ with my security. And I have to leave with_ you_. Why?"

"I told you, your father and I had a deal. This is me keeping my part of the bargain." He added with a detached voice but I wouldn't bite. At least _not yet_.

"That didn't stop you from leaving me to fend for myself on Friday. And on Monday, you barely said two words to me." I pointed out with a frown, stepped around him and went to sit down on the couch. "I want to know why you changed your mind." I said as I took a seat and crossed my legs.

The distance that I put between us made me think clearly. His presence was intoxicating, his scent made me dizzy and unable to focus on the thing I was supposed to focus on: survival. Because, no matter what I thought in the last few minutes, it was still unclear on whose side Edward Masen was. Friday's events made sure I would never forget and always keep my guard up, no matter how much my hormones fought against my survival instinct or how much I wanted to focus on all kinds of emotions and escape the ones I should have been focusing on.

"If I remember correctly, _you_ ran away on Friday and, on Monday, you acted like you hadn't seen me before. What was I supposed to do?"

"What were you supposed to do? You were supposed to tell me the _truth_! You were supposed to tell me what was going on and why you felt the need to get me out of Chicago on a private jet! You were supposed to tell me how you found out about my parents' death! You were _not_ supposed to lie to me and then expect me to throw away all caution just because you saw fit! Do you have _any_ idea of all the scenarios that have been playing in my mind for the last week? Nobody is telling me anything and all of a sudden, I'm getting my hands on information that may get me killed. Tell. Me."

"Do you always ask so many questions?" Edward said with a tinge of frustration in his velvet voice.

_You haven't seen anything yet_. "Yes. Do you always evade answers?" I replied sharply and narrowed my eyes.

"I'm not -"

"Yes, you are!" I cut him off without waiting for another lie to leave his lips. "You're not telling me anything more than you need to control me. Did you really believe that I would look at you as a savior? You _lied_ to me. My father _lied_ to me. Even Jason is lying. Everyone's telling lies, thinking they're smarter than me. The people that are supposed to look after me have left me here, alone, unsupervised. I'm a sitting duck! And the best thing you can come up with is to take me away to some ivory tower and isolate me? I might as well die and get this thing over with!"

My words sparked something in him because in the next second, Edward sank to his knees in front of me and looked into my eyes with an angry gaze.

"Don't _ever_ say that again, do you hear me?"

But I wasn't having any of that. I was on a roll, angry and looking for a fight, looking for an outlet for my emotions that seemed to drown me. I wanted to keep being angry, to keep fighting. It was the only way I could avoid the pain that lingered beneath the surface of my anger.

"You don't get to tell me what I can do or say! You're nothing but a man who's looking for the exit routes, planning his escape from a deal that he didn't want to honor in the first place! You wanted to wash your hands off me on Friday, didn't you? You wanted me under the radar without explaining _why_ I needed to do that in the first place and leave me there!

"I don't know how much you know about me, _Edward_, but I'm _not_ an idiot! My father had ties to the Mob. He had information and he switched sides _twice_. It was bound to bite him in the ass sooner or later and he knew that. _I_ know that. My father went against everything he taught me ever since I was a kid. It's because of the values that he engraved in me that I was always on the straight and narrow. And look where that got me!" I said while I spread my arms like I was spreading my wings. "Look how much _good_ that did me!" I said with as much anger as I could without crying out of sheer frustration.

"I'm not safe if I don't know what's going on. I'm not safe if I _do_ know. The only viable option is to sell everything, get a new identity and disappear." I continued with my voice thick with emotion.

His gaze softened during my rant and the tension that was visible before left his muscles.

"I'm sorry."

"Yeah, well… so am I. That doesn't change anything, though. I'm still stuck here."

Edward didn't feel the need to add anything and I kept silent for a few minutes to get my thoughts in order. It wasn't as easy as it would have been if I were calm and detached. Instead, I was all over the place and it was costing me precious minutes that I could have used to find out what was going on around me. Then again, I kept telling myself that I didn't want to know what was going on. Sooner or later, I would have to choose a side, whether I liked it or not. Unfortunately for me, my options weren't as good as they seemed a few days ago.

Right now, I had two options.

Option no. 1 was to stay in the dark and look over my shoulder constantly even after I get the money and disappear. That would mean I wouldn't touch what my father left me but that wouldn't mean anything to the people after me because they'd still want whatever my father had. I hoped Aro Volturi would be on my side but it seemed he won't take my side unless there was something in it for him. That was not very fair now, was it?

Option no. 2 would be to just get my hands on everything and give it to the highest bidder, in exchange for protection. But there's only so much someone would do to keep me safe once they get whatever it is that they want. The proof of that was my father. My parents' death was the price my father had to pay for his treason. The problem was that my father had betrayed both sides. Surely Aro Volturi wasn't too pleased with that situation. _Once a turn cloak…_

_Of course, there's always that option you never want to consider,_ my mind whispered back at me before I could gather enough strength to shut it up._ You could memorize everything, destroy all evidence and disappear afterwards. That way, you know who's after you and you also cover up your tracks._

Not wanting to hear my subconscious anymore, I focused on the task at hand: figuring out if Edward Masen was on my side. And I knew exactly what to ask.

"Who was in the car with us on Friday?"

"That would be my father, Carlisle Cullen."

I wish I could say I was expecting that but I wasn't. It didn't make any sense whatsoever. Then again, all I knew about Carlisle Cullen was that he was a rich man with a very big influence in Seattle.

"Why?"

It didn't escape my notice that it was the same question I asked Carlisle when he was in the car with me. Yet, somehow, this question seemed more important now than it did last Friday.

It was painfully obvious that the people that I had in my life once upon a time were gone. Except for Alice, who I knew would support me no matter what and always put my best interest first, there was no one that I could turn to and seek help from. As much as it hurt to think about them, my parents had been my safety net. No matter what I did or what I went through, I knew I could always go back home into the loving arms of my parents and trust them with my life. Knowing that my dad lied to me and my mom probably kept her mouth shut made me rethink every single detail of my life. I was past analyzing everything mostly because I wouldn't be able to keep the pain at bay if I opened that particular can of worms but I still had moments when I would slip back into analytical mode and it took some strength to get myself back from that.

Considering all that, I was alone. Edward Masen wanted my trust but I wasn't sure I could give him that part of me. Yes, my raging hormones clouded my vision on several occasions, today included, but I could always see past that, no matter how much Edward pulled me in. The fact that I didn't know what exactly he was pulling me in definitely helped matters. However, as I told him a few minutes before, I would need all the help I could get. Therefore, I would have to pick my battles and, at the same time, I would have to pick a side. _To know or not to know? That is the question._

"I wasn't the first person that should have reacted to the news of your father's death. Charlie had me as a Plan B in case Plan A didn't activate. The problem with this is that being a Plan B doesn't really give you much Intel. Charlie didn't tell me how I was supposed to keep my part of the bargain. I didn't know you and you didn't have any reason to trust me in the first place. So I pretended to be Plan A and hoped that you knew about that. Turns out, you didn't."

"So… Aro Volturi was Plan A? He was supposed to get me under the radar until things settled down?"

"Yes."

"Okay… I think I can live with that…" I trailed off, lost in thought.

I debate whether to ask him about Aro Volturi and why he was the first one to get to me but decided to keep my questions to myself. From my brief encounter with the DA of Seattle, I could tell the only reason he would care about me was if I could give him what my father had stashed away. _So much for Plan A sticking to its end of the bargain…_

"Hey, are you OK?" Edward asked and touched my elbow, sending an electric current through my entire body.

I broke out of my thoughts and shook my head.

"Not really. Listen, Edward. You're nice and attentive but I don't know if I want to get involved in all of this. I don't know what to do and you being here and telling me that I have to leave with you to Seattle isn't really helping. I keep being pulled in different directions without anyone asking me what _I _want."

He looked at me, really _looked _at me, and frowned.

"You're right. I am pushing you without asking if you want to take the jump or not. However, it's the only plan I can think of right now. I want to keep you _safe_, Isabella. Right now, leaving Forks and coming to stay in Seattle with me until we get you a new identity is the best option. Please believe that if I could come up with something that could top this plan, I would tell you."

"A week ago, Forks seemed safe enough for you to dump me here and forget you ever met me. Something changed; something important enough for you to come back. I'm going to ask you again: what changed?"

My question was met with silence. Then again, I wasn't expecting Edward to be more forthcoming even though it was the second time in less than an hour that I asked this question. All I could do was wait for him to gather his courage and bite the bullet already.

"You met Jacob Black." Edward spit the words through his teeth like it pained him to speak.

"What's wrong with that? He knew my dad and was a part of the investigation."

"He wasn't supposed to tell you about your dad's past and his involvement in Black's case. That's classified information."

"Why would he tell me that if he wasn't supposed to?"

"He was baiting you."

"Baiting me?"

Okay, now I was confused. Why would agent Black do that? My face must have betrayed my confusion because Edward felt the need to elaborate.

"Yes. Baiting you. He wanted to see how much you knew. The first rule when it comes to the families of people involved with the Mob is that you don't tell them about an ongoing investigation unless you want their guard to go up. Black wanted to see your reaction."

"Well, he didn't get any."

"So he changed tactics. He played the card of the concerned agent that shadowed your every move in hopes that you would lead him to anything. When you gave the deposition and didn't say anything worth protecting, Black was called off. However, that doesn't mean that you'll be left to your own devices. People are watching you."

In that moment, I knew I would have to make a deal with myself. I would have to compromise. I would have to accept Edward's help, at least until I knew who I was up against and how to avoid them.

"Okay, Edward. Let me pack a bag and I'll meet you down here in 30 minutes. That work for you?"

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**AN: And so it begins. Will Bella be able to stay away from all the drama? Only one way to find out!**

**PS: Did I mention that reviews make me write faster? There's something about people voicing their opinions that makes me want to prove them right or wrong in the next chapter. So yeah... more reviews = faster updates. Fair trade, right? _Right!_**

**See you Saturday!**


	12. Ch 12 - The breakdown

**AN: Hello!  
**

**First of all, I'd like to take the time and thank you all for your views, reviews, faves, follows... basically EVERYTHING!  
**

**I can't believe this story has over 5,000 views! Wow! You guys rock!**

**As promised, chapter 12 has arrived! And it features our favorite characters: Bella and Edward! Nothing could top this, right? _Right!_**

**In this chapter, we get to know a little bit of Edward's history. Bella is finally experiencing the breakdown that she should have had a few chapters ago. And, to top it all off, a little bit of bickering to tone down the angst.  
**

** Hope you guys like it :)**

**And speaking of chapters, no one said anything about a future EPOV. I'm still waiting, guys! Don't leave me hanging!**

**The song for this chapter is Evanescence - Lost in Paradise.**

**Enjoy!**

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_"It's so curious: one can resist tears and 'behave' very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer... and everything collapses."  
― __Colette_

BPOV

During my first year, I took a Psychology class that was meant to help me read people and body language as well as picking up a few tricks that few people were privy to. That knowledge made me look closely at Edward and Carlisle on that faithful Friday and realize that they were keeping things from me. It may have not been a matter of life and death since they didn't want to harm me but it's better if you're always on the defense when you don't know who's after you.

I looked over to my left and found Edward sneaking glances at me. His attitude confused me most of the time, mostly because I didn't know anything about him other than what Alice found on Google and the few words we exchanged at my house. Was Edward a part of the _Family_ that was after me? His posture and mannerisms didn't point in that direction but I had read people wrong before so that wasn't easing my mind whatsoever. The fact that I had lived under the same roof as my father while he was a part of something that made my skin crawl had me doubting my ability to read people. Yet, it seemed that when things got tough, I could always fall back on my gut and take it from there. A small comfort but still, a comfort.

Edward's silence was unnerving. It wasn't like I wanted him to tell me stories about his childhood, like Jacob Black had done, but the silence that was filling the car wasn't good on my nerves. It made me want to start talking about anything that I could come up with as long as the silence went away.

"What?" I asked a few minutes later, unable to keep my mouth shut any longer.

"Nothing. You seem to have a lot on your mind. Want to talk about it?" Edward replied without taking his eyes off the road in front of us.

I rubbed at my temples and forehead, trying to keep my massive headache at bay but it wasn't working.

"I thought we did talk about it. Unless you're hiding something else from me."

My comment made Edward grip the steering wheel with more force, making his knuckles turn while. His jaw flexed and his nose flared but he kept his thoughts to himself_._

I didn't know if that was a good thing or a bad thing, considering his track record.

"I said I was sorry."

"Yeah well, _sorry_ doesn't cut it. You had more than one chance to tell me what was going on and you kept silent. That's something I won't be forgetting too soon. However, I think it's time I put that behind me, I'm not going to dangle the past over your head like a sword." I flicked my wrist like I was getting rid of a pestering mosquito. As much as I wanted to look for someone to place the blame on, we were all a part of it, whether we liked it or not.

The next hour was quiet and that allowed me to come down from the adrenaline high that I had been on for almost a week. My muscles were sore from the tense state in which they had been, my bones were aching and my constant headache – courtesy of my lack of eating – was not making things any easier.

"So what's the plan?"

"It's actually up to you."

"Up to me?"

"Yes. You said something about having an option. I want to give you that. I want you to have options so you don't feel like you have no saying in the things that are happening."

"Okay… so what are my options?"

"You can stay at my place or you could stay at my parents' house. Either way is safe, though my dad has tighter security and you can spend time with my mom if you want to. If you stay at my place, you'll see me only after 8 pm and my housekeeper on Saturdays."

"Oh…"

"Think about it. You don't have to make a decision right now. And no matter what you decide, it's not set in stone. You can always change your mind."

"Okay. Thank you, Edward."

"You're welcome. Plus, it's my job after all." He said with a small crooked smile that warmed my insides.

"No, it's not. You could have done the same thing Aro did and I wouldn't have held it against you."

"So you're not mad at Aro?"

I could sense the curiosity behind his question and I took a moment to gather my thoughts.

"I'm curious why he didn't keep his promise to my dad but I don't think my dad kept his end of the bargain so why would Aro keep his?"

"What do you mean?"

"You saw my deposition, right?"

"Yes, I did."

"When Aro took my deposition, he kept hinting at 'heads of families' that I should have known about if my dad had brought any at home. Since he didn't, I couldn't offer any information worth the trouble of protecting."

Edward released a lungful of air and ran his right hand through his hair. He was nervous. _Or maybe just pissed_ _off._

"You're wrong. As a man of the law, Aro shouldn't have a choice. You are a citizen of this country, an innocent one. It's his duty to take care of you and make sure you're safe, deal or no deal."

"You're also a man of the law. Does that mean you would have helped me if you hadn't gotten your part of the deal in advance?" I pointed out.

"It's not the same thing."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not the District Attorney. I didn't vow to protect anyone. I only vowed to protect the law and abide by it."

"Did you keep your vow?"

"For the most part, yes."

"So you agree you can't always keep your vow." I kept on pushing.

"It's not that I can't. I _can_ keep my vow. I just don't always want to."

"Why?"

"Because, sometimes, you have to interpret the Law and bend it to its limits in order to find the truth. Like when Charlie helped me. Without his help, an innocent man would have suffered and there was no way I could have stopped it from happening, even if it was wrong."

I kept silent, thinking about his reasoning. I didn't know much about Edward so I couldn't form an opinion based on what Alice read about him. I wanted to know more but I didn't know how to broach the issue. In moments such as this one, I wished I had my mother next to me. She could make a mute spill his guts. _Oh, Mom. I miss you so much!_

Edward's voice broke me out of my thoughts. "What are you thinking about?"

"You, my dad, my mom… the list is endless, really."

"What about me?"

"I just realized I don't really know you. Other than the crash course on Google, you're a mystery, Edward Anthony Masen."

"You googled me?"

"Actually, that was Alice."

"Oh, yes. Ms. Brandon. Bossy little thing, isn't she?"

"You have no idea!"

"You two seemed close. At the funeral I mean."

I smiled at the memory, even though that was the day I buried my parents.

"We are. She's the sister I never had."

"I meant to ask you… why wasn't she with you in the past few days?"

"Alice had to go home – to Georgia – to bring her parents to Chicago for her graduation."

"Do you also have plans to go to Chicago?"

"Yes. I was supposed to attend graduation with Alice."

"You're using past tense…"

"I don't know what to say, Edward. A week ago, my biggest issue was my last exam. I was on top of the world, patting my back on a job well done. Now, I can't find it in me to give a crap about graduation. Alice said I should meet her there. She said I'm strong and that I'll be fine… eventually."

"What do you think?"

"I think I'm on the edge of this really tall cliff and I can't tear my eyes away from the rocky bottom. I want to. I want to focus on something else other that this hole that's in my chest but I can't. I can't stop thinking about everything that has happened. I can't stop thinking that I have to disappear if I want to keep on living. I can't focus on tomorrow when I have to try so hard to keep my mind in the present."

Edward was quiet for a few minutes. I watched as an array of emotions flickered in his eyes as he took deep breaths. I could smell his cologne and that helped me to come down from my high and relax. Edward, however, wasn't relaxed.

"Edward… are you OK?"

"Yeah. Forgive me, I was just… thinking."

"Thinking about what?"

"This whole situation that you woke up in the middle of."

I let out a breath and toyed with my fingers, a nervous habit.

"It's not your fault. And even if it was, looking for people to place the blame on never gets you anywhere. Being bitter doesn't mean you're getting better. You just keep re-living things that are better left in the past. That doesn't mean that I won't lose it in the very near future because I will. I just don't want to hang on to that, you know? I just want to be able to move past the anger and the only way to do that is to let the pain follow its own course."

He was quiet for a few minutes, as if he was mulling over my words. His usual stiff posture had relaxed and he wasn't gripping the steering wheel as if his life depended on it.

Those minutes filled with silence were very hard to manage. I spent too much time inside my head and I was going to start pulling my hair soon enough.

"Distract me." My trembling voice cut through the silence.

"I'm sorry… what?"

"Distract me."

"With what?"

"Anything. Just talk. Fill the silence so I can focus on something else other than my thoughts."

I expected him to start talking immediately but a few minutes passed before his voice filled the car with its velvet notes.

"Here's something you haven't read on Google: my former girlfriend cheated on me with one of the associates at the firm where I'm working. Her name is Jane Evanson and she is the daughter of Caius Evanson, naming partner and owner of 40% of Evanson &amp; Platt."

Of all the things that I expected Edward to say, _that_ was not one of them!

"Talk about awkward!"

"Awkward? More like humiliating! I met the guy in the elevator the next day and all I could see was Jane on top of him. He was two years older than me and I didn't even know he was in the firm! He was _that_ famous."

"So what did you do?"

"At first, I took the high road: I kept my mouth shut and avoided both of them like the plague. Unfortunately for me, Jane wasn't done. She feared word would get to her father and he'd fire Mike on the spot. She kept pestering and chasing me all over the building, begging me not to tell her father while I kept avoiding her. In the end, she got on my nerves so I videotaped her in my office as she confessed she's been banging Mike for over a month and that no one would take my word instead of hers if I were to tell anyone.

"Imagine her surprise when her father got the video, from an _anonymous_ source. I got her off my back, got an apology from both of them, a raise and a new, bigger, office."

"Wow! What happened to the other guy?"

"He's still in the firm, in his cubicle in the bullpen. He passes by my office on a regular basis and scrambles like a scared mouse if he catches me looking at him. It's really funny now. Of course, back then I would grind my teeth and curse my luck every time my path crossed his and Jane's."

I remembered the glare Edward threw at agent Black and suppressed a shiver. If it was anything like that one, it was a miracle Mike didn't wet himself.

"Did you love her?" I found myself asking even though my brain fought against the idea.

"No. I liked Jane, we were attracted to each other, had lots of things in common but it didn't get that far."

"How long were you together?"

"Five months, give or take a couple of weeks." He replied in a nonchalant manner like we were discussing the weather and not someone who he trusted and betrayed him. _Sound familiar, Isabella?_

"Was that your longest relationship?"

"Yes. Actually, she was my first attempt at a relationship. I wanted to take it to the next level, introduce her to my family, my mom… but there was always something holding me back. Considering how it ended, I think it's okay to say that I should have trusted my gut when I felt things were no longer what they used to be."

"Have you tried again?"

"What? A relationship? No." He scoffed at the idea as if it was something preposterous.

"Why not?" I shot back with a little anger behind my words.

"I don't have time for that."

I let of a small chuckle. "Someone once told me that you can always find time for things you want to get done." I pointed out.

"Well, since I can't find any time, it must mean that I don't want to."

Something in his voice made me pause my tirade and look at him more closely. He sounded… _sad._

"I'm sorry. It's not my place to meddle." I back paddled and stared out the window on my right.

"Hey, it's OK. Got your mind off the recent events, right?" Edward asked with a smile in his voice but it didn't reach his beautiful eyes.

"I guess. Like that shot of Patron." I joked back, trying to make the atmosphere less awkward.

He nodded and stared ahead and it took me a few more moments of looking at him before I could make myself look away. I could see the Seattle lights in the distance, like the light at the end of the tunnel. My eyes filled with tears and I bit back a sob.

"Isabella?"

I shook my head, signaling that I didn't want to talk. What was there to say, anyway? That I'm crying because I saw some city lights? That I've kept my feelings locked up and focused solely on my anger and now it was all bursting out of the box? That I wanted to scream and claw at my skin because I was no longer at ease in it?

I cried silently as the salty rivers flowed and drowned my sorrows. I said goodbye to my parents and the innocent girl that I left in Forks. It had been easier to pretend that I wasn't hurting rather than admitting to myself that I was in way over my head and it was bound to drown me. All my suppressed emotions came up for air and I found myself gasping, fighting to fill my lungs in spite of the burn in the middle of my chest.

Edward rubbed my back a few times and even though it helped, I still couldn't get my emotions under control no matter how much I tried to regulate my breathing and stop the tears from flowing. I was a crying mess by the time we reached a house (or should I say _manor_?).

I couldn't make my muscles obey me. I wanted to get out of the car and just _breathe_. A few minutes later, I felt a gentle hug enveloping me but all I could do was cry even harder, letting it all out, until darkness claimed me.

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**AN: Soooo... you like?**

**Leave a review and let me know!**


	13. Ch 13 - The family

**AN: Hello, everyone! Sorry for the late update :( To make up for my delay, this chapter is 7 pages long, a little longer than usual :)**

**In this chapter we meet Esme and Caius, as well as Carmen, Eleazar and Maria. Let me know what you think of them in the review section ;)**

**Also, I would like to say a few words about this story. **

**First of all, it's a slow burn. Mainly because I like reading about emotions, reactions and basically the inner workings of the characters. There will be times when the story will pick up. There will also be times when it'll feel as if nothing is really happening but, trust me, those chapters are also important for the storyline. **

**Second of all, nothing here is either black or white. As the main character (Bella) will learn, the grey area is always more captivating and harder to work with. That being said, don't expect everyone to play nice all the time because they won't. All people make mistakes and decisions that have consequences beyond their comprehension abilities and that's what makes them human. My characters won't be an exception to that rule.**

**The third, and final, subject I wanted to broach is ExB relationship. Their relationship is also a slow burn. My Bella won't jump into Edward's arms and surrender whatever free will she has left just so he can sleep well at night. She'll be sad, depressed, angry, hurt, confused, jealous, happy, in love and all the feelings one goes through when being in a relationship. And Edward will act accordingly. I ask you to have patience with them since they're both new at this thing called _feelings for the opposite sex._**

**Last, but not least, I'd like to thank jansails, sujari6, sandy4321, xshynenstarx, pmk kelly and everyone else who took the time to leave me their thoughts! I love reading each and every one of them! You guys make my day, truly!  
**

**Okay... enough with the talking and on with the show!**

**PS: the underlined words belong to Stephenie Meyer who created the characters I'm using in my story.**

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_"There is no such thing as a "broken family." Family is family, and is not determined by marriage certificates, divorce papers, and adoption documents. Families are made in the heart. The only time family becomes null is when those ties in the heart are cut."  
― __C. JoyBell C._

BPOV

I woke up with the feeling that I was being watched. It wasn't one of those movie moments where the character sits up and immediately starts looking around until their eyes land on the person looking at them.

The reasons for that were multiple.

First of all, my muscles were locked like I had run a marathon and didn't stretch afterwards. I blamed the tense state in which my muscles had been for the past week and my restless sleep. No longer on edge, my body was suddenly too heavy for me to carry from one place to another. Add to that the fact that just the thought of food made my stomach queasy and the lack of sleep and you get the reason why I felt so drained.

Secondly, my head was pounding and my eyes felt like they had sand in them so I chose to keep still and take my time. No sudden moves and definitely no eyes looking around to find the source of my discomfort, at least for a few moments until I got my bearings.

Speaking of which, I had a hard time remembering how I got in a bed when the last thing I remembered was me crying my eyes out in Edward's car. Thinking back to that left me feeling weird. It was so unlike me to lose it in front of a stranger. Then again, it wasn't like I had so many familiar faces to choose from and chose a stranger instead. That particular thought saddened me further. I needed Alice by my side. I needed her perfume, her fierce hug, her laugh like clicking of bells… it was time like these when I wished I had at least a selfish bone in my body so I could call her and demand she came to Seattle. However, cutting her time with her family wasn't something I would ever do even though she insisted that listening to her parents arguing and screaming was not a vacation. _Whatever, Alice. At least you still get to see them arguing._

My mental conversation with myself gave my body enough time to get out of the semi-awake state in which I woke up. In an attempt to get out of bed, I pushed on my elbows and came face to face with a girl that was probably younger than I was, judging by her facial features. She was very short and small-toned, probably around 5', and had black hair, dark eyes and a slight olive tone to her skin. Her eyes widened as she took me in and rushed out of the room without a word, leaving me watching the closed door with a confused look on my face. _Hello to you, too._

I shrugged my shoulders and got out of bed while simultaneously looking around the room. The walls were painted a dark blue and had silver trimmings at the edges and I found myself captivated by the color. It made the room seem cold yet comforting, like a summer midnight without the stars. There wasn't much furniture and there were three doors that probably lead to an en suite bathroom, a walk in closet and the last one probably lead to the hallway. One peek inside confirmed my suspicions.

Deciding that it was probably time to get out of the room and try to find Edward, I rose from the bed and took a quick trip to the bathroom to freshen up a little and look more human, hopefully.

I hoped I wouldn't get lost in a maze while searching for him because I didn't think my legs could hold me up for too long. My headache was a bitch; my whole head felt like someone took a baseball bat and thought my head was a piñata and my stomach chose that precise moment to growl loudly and remind me that I should feed myself if I didn't want to end up with an ulcer in the near future. Then again, that wouldn't happen if I would be able to keep the food in my stomach instead of having to watch it reappear not long after ingesting it.

While I was thinking about my body – which seemed to hate me with a vengeance at the moment – I slowly made my way down a very long flight of stairs and looked around. The house was beautiful, that much I could tell. It was obvious that an interior designer had been hired to fill this immense space with nice art, furniture and personal touches while having an unlimited budget at his disposal. Either that or Esme Cullen had had way too much free time on her hands. My bet was on the latter.

"There you are!" a voice behind me said.

I jumped and turned around to meet the source of the voice and stared at the woman in front of me. It was like meeting a fairy tale – Snow White, in the flesh. She was roughly 5'6" tall with billows of gently waving, caramel-colored hair, dressed in impeccable cream colored pants and a light blue shirt. Her face was heart-shaped with dimples and her brown eyes smiled at me. She held her slender figure with a grace that could only be based on confidence – lots of it. It was clear as day that this woman felt good in her own skin and wasn't going to start making excuses for it.

I felt sick to my stomach as I thought about my own appearance. I had slept in the same clothes I had worn the day before and still hadn't changed. I did look around the room in search of my bag but gave up when it was clear I wasn't going to find it. My hair had resembled a rat's nest and I had to make do with using my fingers as a comb before braiding it into a fishtail. Thank God I didn't wear make-up on a daily basis and a simple splash of cold water was more than enough this morning!

"I'm Esme Cullen." She said with a gentle voice that was supposed to make me feel at ease but did the exact opposite.

Esme took a step forward as if she were approaching an injured animal that would be scared by sudden moves. I stared back at her, my words caught in my throat. I could feel myself grow pale as I took her in. All I could think about was the fact that she was younger than Renee and that I was never going to see my mother again. Esme's warm, compassionate look crumbled the last wall that I had left around my bleeding heart and the feeling left me gasping for air. I put a hand on my chest, feeling my heart beating fast, as if I was a rabbit facing a fox.

"Are you okay, dear? You look a little pale. When was the last time you ate?" she asked with concerned eyes, taking in my appearance. I was willing to bet all my money a corpse looked better than me. _I would know. I just buried two._

"Um… Thursday?" was my shaky reply.

A dark look settled over Esme's features as her eyes narrowed and her lips became two thin lines.

"Carmen!" she yelled and proceeded to speak in fluent Spanish to some invisible woman that was probably waiting for instructions once she heard her name being called. The beautiful woman, 5'5" tall with long dark brown hair, dark eyes and an olive tone to her skin, stepped into the room and nodded to Esme before disappearing once more but not before looking at me.

I felt the burn of her gaze but the intent behind it wasn't malicious. She was curious which, in turn, made me curious as well.

Esme focused her attention on me once again and gave me a small smile. It was a sad smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Why don't we take a seat somewhere while we wait for Carmen to prepare something?"

I nodded and followed her on shaky legs to the living area. The light grey walls and light wood floor set the base for the colorful furniture that filled the room with color: two deep blue velvet couches with light teal decorative pillows facing each other, a cream leather armchair and a loveseat, all gathered around a red rug meant to define the space between the furniture. The combination of color and texture was so different from the boring creams and browns that I had seen in different magazines and the natural light that poured from the floor to ceiling windows gave everything a fresh feel.

"You have a beautiful home, Mrs. Cullen." I said in awe of my surroundings. I felt like a kid in those designer furniture stores. Everywhere I looked, I could see pieces of furniture, artwork and decorations that I would have never thought would work together yet every room that I stepped into proved me wrong.

"Thank you, dear. And, please, call me Esme. We're on a first name basis here, except for Carmen and Eleazar who insist on calling me 'Mrs. Cullen'."

Once again, I nodded, unable to gather my thoughts and express them in an understandable manner.

We sat like that for a few minutes: Esme watching my every move while I looked around and tried to make myself at ease with my surroundings. I had a feeling this was going to be my home for a few months if I was going to choose living with the Cullens and not with Edward.

I found it very hard to focus on one thought at a time and I had to fight with my own mind if I wanted to silence my thoughts and chose what would occupy my mind for a brief period of time.

In an attempt to keep my headache at bay, I started, once again, to rub my temples and forehead, an angry sight leaving my lips. This situation was starting to get on my nerves. I was getting tired of all the headaches, muscle pains and lack of sleep. Not to mention my lack of appetite and ability to hold down my food.

"Isabella -"

Esme stopped speaking. A tall man, with black hair up to his collar, dark eyes and a light olive skin tone appeared in the room in the exact moment Esme wanted to address me.

"Yes?"

"Apologies, Mrs. Cullen. Mr. Evanson is in the foyer and he would like to speak with you."

I watched as a myriad of emotions flashed through Esme's eyes before she settled on mild curiosity.

"Caius or Felix?"

"Caius, Mrs. Cullen." The tall man replied with a slight accent. _Spanish?_

"Send him here. And please bring me a glass of lemonade, hold the honey. I have a feeling I'm going to need it." Esme mumbled the last part as if she were speaking to herself and turned her attention back to me. The man gave a small nod and retreated.

"Caius Evanson is an old friend of Carlisle and happens to own 40% of Evanson &amp; Platt. I own the other 60%. I apologize for the interruption but I have to see what brought him here without prior arrangements. It won't take long, dear." Esme informed me about her guest.

I nodded and folded my hands in my lap.

The man came back carrying a tray with a glass of lemonade on it and with Caius Evanson in tow.

"Thank you, Eleazar. That would be all. Oh, and please let us know when Carmen has finished preparing breakfast."

"Certainly, Mrs. Cullen. Mr. Evanson." Eleazar said and retreated without further words.

Esme took a sip of her lemonade before standing up and giving Caius Evanson a brief hug. I could tell from her body language than he was someone she merely tolerated and would have rather seen him anywhere else but in her home.

Caius Evanson was an average built man, around 6' tall, with short blond hair and icy blue eyes. He was wearing a tailored suit, following his every dip and line and an expression to match it. On the surface, his posture seemed relaxed and friendly but his stiff muscles and the fake air kisses told a different story. Caius Evanson was no fonder of Esme Cullen than she was of him. Alice's voice filled my mind: _Keep your friends close and your enemies closer, Isabella._ Truer words have never been spoken, my dear friend.

After the whole charade was over, Caius's eyes roamed over my figure and rested, eventually, on my face. He gave me a small smile that didn't reach his eyes. It was more than obvious that he was hoping on some alone time with Mrs. Cullen but it seemed like he was more than happy to adjust to the changes in his plan.

Esme was watching him with a calculating look, very similar to the one Carlisle had when he first met me. It gave me the chills. Caius, however, seemed immune. _Huh!_

"And who this might be, Esme? You didn't tell me you had such a beautiful daughter!"

I could tell from the tone of his voice that he didn't believe I was her daughter and he wanted answers. The man standing in front of me was used to everyone showing their cards while he plotted his next move. _Sorry to disappoint you, Mr. Evanson. I own my poker face._

I stood up and assumed a perfect posture, my back straight, my chin up and my gaze cold.

"Isabella Swan." I said as I gripped his cold hand with my own cold one. _Show no fear!_ My mind whispered. Knowing his connection with Edward, that was exactly my intention.

His eyebrows rose into his hairline as he assessed my handshake. He kept my hand in his for a beat longer than necessary but I held my ground, despite the fact that his touch made my skin crawl. _Thank God for the sweater!_ I plastered a smile on my face and kept my muscles locked in place. Showing weakness was not an option with this man – I gathered as much in the brief span of time.

"Now that we're all introduced, why don't you take a seat and tell me what brought you here on such short notice, Caius." Esme's voice broke Caius from his thoughts and he took a seat on the opposite couch, never taking his eyes off me. I felt like a piece of juicy steak that would satisfy his appetite with just one bite. _The look of a predator._

"Yes, of course. I'm sorry for dropping on you like this but I'm really worried about Jane. She's a mess, Esme. I don't know what to do. She keeps telling me how sorry she is and how much she wants to rebuilt her relationship with Edward…" Caius trailed off with a glance in my direction, probably gauging my reaction. When I looked back at him with a blank stare, he continued his trail of thoughts as if he had just finished remembering his daughter's words. "Is there nothing we can do to remedy this situation, Esme?"

It didn't escape my notice, or Esme's, the use of _we_ as a united front meant to bring back some feelings of solidarity. Her eyes narrowed slightly but otherwise appeared completely unaffected. _Someone doesn't like the plan_, my mind snickered. I didn't like it either.

"You already know my opinion on the matter, Caius. Ultimately, it's Edward's decision. I've always supported his decisions and this is one of those times. He's not a child that I can steer in whatever direction I please and even if he were, I would never do that. He's a brilliant young man and an asset to the firm. Keep him happy and you should be fine. As for Jane, I'm sorry it came down to this but she made her bed. Actions have consequences and there's only one way to learn this lesson: by facing those consequences." Esme said with a stern voice.

To say I was impressed would be an understatement. It seemed like Mrs. Cullen was more than just a pretty face and a slender figure dressed in designer clothes. Then again, I wouldn't have expected anything less when it came to Carlisle Cullen's better half.

Upon hearing the tone of her voice, a start contract to the interest her body language showed, Caius narrowed his eyes and his posture became rigid.

"Yes, of course. As always, you are right, Esme. However, you have to see my side of things here. I am her father and I feel like I have failed her. Growing up without a mother has taken its toll on Jane and I feel like it's all catching up with her."

_Oh, yes! Play the card of the concerned father when the role of Cupid has been squashed._

"You'll find a way, I'm sure. Every trial makes us stronger and I have no doubt in my mind that this will make Jane stronger and more responsible." Esme said with a gentle voice as she patted his right arm from her seat on the armchair.

_And that, my friends, is the art of diplomacy at its best!_

I wanted to stand up and clap my hands. However, my energy was basically non-existent so I limited myself to watching and learning from the woman on my left while keeping my face neutral. Edward had told me about Jane and her 'unfortunate accident' but that was not something Esme knew and I was not going to offer my opinion on matters concerning this kind of betrayal. I had my own kind of betrayal plaguing me and leaving me bitter.

"Thank you, Esme." Caius said with a small smile and a spark in his eyes. His little speech was interrupted by Eleazar who announced that brunch was ready. _Brunch? Just how long _did _I sleep?_

"Thank you, Eleazar. Would Maria like to join us?"

At the mention of Maria, Caius stood straighter and scowled. He wiped it off his face as soon as Esme turned her attention back at him and promised they'll be in touch.

"Thank you for making the time to see me, Esme." _It's not like she had any choice with you showing up at her doorstep._ "Miss Swan, a pleasure to meet you." _Of course… not!_

I smiled and rose to shake his hand once again. His hand was warm and clammy while mine was still cold and hard as ice. The emotions flickering behind his eyes indicated that he took note of this tiny detail but I made no move to acknowledge that.

As soon as Caius Evanson was out of earshot, Esme let out a deep breath and took a big gulp of lemonade, as if she was trying to get rid of a bad taste in her mouth. _I know the feeling, Esme_.

"Let's go to the dining room, shall we? I'm sure you're starving."

I smiled and nodded my approval. I was hungry, even though I had no appetite when I thought about what was going to happen _after_ I ate.

Esme lead me through her beautiful home and I followed her like a lost puppy in a maze. We entered the dining room and I took a seat on one of the ten seats available. The room was painted white, had dark wood flooring and was clutter-free; the only furniture filling it was the black shiny dining table that seemed made of glass. The outside wall was all glass, overlooking the garden and pool. Delicate white curtains that framed the glass and a very intricate crystal chandelier cut back on the clinical feel of the room, giving it a cozier feel. I loved it.

What I didn't like was the pile of food that filled the table. The table was set for three, which intrigued me.

Soon enough, the girl that had been the room I woke up in was taking a seat next to Esme.

"Isabella. This is Maria, Carmen and Eleazar's daughter. She lives here with us and I consider her and her parents members of my family." Esme said with a genuine smile lighting up her features. She truly was a sight to behold.

Maria nodded in my direction with a slight blush after hearing Esme's words. It was clear she looked up to Esme and sought her approval. I found myself smiling at them and Maria returned my smile with a small one of her own.

I wanted to eat but the thought of food, in spite of my empty stomach, made me queasy. I settled on some fruit and a croissant with a cup of tea but it was pure torture to swallow. My throat was raw from all the crying I did last night and probably during my sleep and all the throwing up I did in the past few days. It felt like I was swallowing barbed wire and not a piece of buttery pastry or a sip of warm tea.

I must have looked like I was in pain because Esme looked at me with concerned eyes.

"Are you alright, dear?"

I shook my head and covered my mouth with my right hand, my brunch seconds away from making a reappearance. Esme shouted something in Spanish and, in a matter of moments, a trashcan appeared on my left. I turned and emptied the contents of my stomach, my throat and eyes burning. Dry heaves followed as Esme came over and put a palm over my forehead. Her touch soothed me and I was able to calm down my breathing.

"I'm _so_ sorry." I managed to croak a minute later.

"It's OK, dear. How about you go and take a nice hot bath while Carmen prepares you a chicken soup to settle that stomach? I'll also bring you some medicine to help you keep everything down. Does that sound like a plan?"

_It sounds like Heaven!_

I gave her a brief nod and went back to the room with Maria's help. This was going to be a _long_ day!

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**AN: So… what do you think about Esme? Caius? Bella? The story?  
**

**Thank you for reading and I'll see you again on Saturday!**


	14. Ch 14 - The doctor

**AN: Hey, guys!**

**I tried uploading this on Friday but it seems FF didn't want me to give you an early Easter present. So yeah… at least I tried. It's the thought that counts, right?**_** Right! **_**Although... technically, it's still Friday, right? Go me!**

**In this chapter, we meet Rosalie, Emmet and Jasper. I focused more on Rosalie because I really like her character but rest assured, the boys will have their moments ;)**

**As usual, everything that's underlined belongs to S. Meyer (as well as the characters).**

**Last, but not least, thank you all for reading, reviewing, fav'ing, following… you guys make me write faster!**

**The song for this chapter is Snow Ghosts – And the world was gone.**

**Enjoy!**

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_"Illness is the night side of life, a more onerous citizenship. Everyone who is born holds dual citizenship, in the kingdom of the well and in the kingdom of the sick. Although we all prefer to use the good passport, sooner or later each of us is obliged, at least for a spell, to identify ourselves as citizens of that other place."  
― __Susan Sontag_

BPOV

I woke up at 1:45 PM. I knew that because I had my phone on the nightstand on my right. I had my phone next to me because I had previously located it along with my bag. However, while some things had changed in the past few hours, my inability to keep any food down other than the occasional sip of water was still there. But when something else was mixed in that water, my stomach was on 'eject' mode. _And the damn headache still won't go away!_

Disoriented, I got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom. The pale, sickly face staring back at me scared the daylights out of me. I looked worse than I did at the funeral. I looked worse than I did after I fainted with Jacob in the kitchen. I looked worse than _Death._

_That's what you get for not eating, Isabella._

Shut up! It's not like I _want_ to throw up my guts for days on end.

_We both know that's not _entirely _true, Isabella._

Deciding that my inner dialogue was a sign that I was losing whatever marbles I had left and I needed to get a grip, I splashed some cold water on my face and went back in the room to change out of my PJ's. It took a few minutes to decide what I was going to wear considering what people wore in this house – suits and designer clothes. _Okaaay… so no sweats for me._ Honestly, I felt like I should have worn my most expensive cocktail dress, cross my fingers and just hope for the best. It wasn't like I sought approval and praise for my fashion sense, which was mostly due to Alice's efforts to get me out of my 'high school apparel' – her words, not mine –, efforts which culminated with her shoving books such as _Little black book of style_ at me. I have to admit, I read them all. Trendy bookworm and all that crap…

I wasn't in the mood for any fashion experiments so I played it safe with my little black dress; black cotton with a boat neck. It reached a few inches above the knee and I deemed it modest enough without looking like a nun. _Safe, casual and fancy enough for whatever impromptu visits Esme Cullen might have._

And speaking of visits, Edward was MIA. Esme assured me that he would be here soon and had to leave to take care of some issues concerning an impending trial. That was three hours ago. He still hadn't come back from the office. I felt… I guess _abandoned_ would be the word to express that feeling.

I didn't have time to linger on those thoughts for much longer because there was a knock on the door and someone peeked inside after my answer.

The woman who came in the room looked _perfect._ If Esme could have been considered a queen, then this woman in front of me would be the princess. _I'm not kidding_.

"Hello, Isabella. My name is Rosalie Hale. I'm Emmett Cullen's fiancé, Edward's older brother." The beauty standing in front of me said with crystal like voice and a smile to match it.

"Um… hello?" I replied, more like _asked._

"Do you mind if I take a seat?"

Remembering my manners, I shook my head and gestured towards the small couch on the foot of the bed.

Rosalie was statuesque. She had a beautiful figure, the kind you saw on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, the kind that made every girl around her take a hit on her self-esteem just by being in the same room. Her hair was golden, gently waving to the middle of her back. She was dressed in a green wrap around dress and nude heels. The color made her violet blue eyes and blonde hair stand out and scream '_Look at me!'. _She smiled and took a seat, put a small pad with a pen on the edge of the bed and pushed it towards me.

"I'm a doctor. I am specialized in internal medicine and Esme has asked for my help, considering your health during this past week. I've taken the liberty of writing a couple of symptoms that I believe you have been experiencing. I want you to look at the list and check the ones you are experiencing. Also, a brief explanation would be most welcome."

I stared at her and tried to focus on the task at hand. I took the pen and pad and looked over the list.

Fatigue?_ – Yes._

Do you tire quickly? – _Yes._

Dizziness? – _Yes, especially after long periods of standing up._

Lightheadedness? – _No._

Shortness of breath? – _No._

Weight loss? – _Yes, but not much._

Fainting? – _Yes. Twice. The most recent one was last night._

Difficulty concentrating? – _Yes._ _I have a hard time keeping up with long conversations._

Weakness (generalized)? _– Yes._

Abdominal pain? – _No._

Green bile? – _No._

Swelling of the abdomen? – _No._

Dark urine? – _No._

I finished writing and gave Rosalie the pad. She looked it over with a blank face, nodded as she read my answers and put it away as soon as she was finished reading it.

"Well, I have good news and a half-bad one. Which one do you want to hear first?" She said with a bright smile that warmed her entire complexion. I was dazzled into submission by a princess.

"Whichever is fine with me." I replied with a shrug. It really didn't matter which one I heard first. The outcome was still the same.

"Okay. So, the good news is that you're very likely to have anemia. It might not sound like a good one but, trust me, it is. I feared something connected to the liver but your eyes aren't showing signs of liver failure and your skin looks good, even if it's a little pale."

"Okay."

"Now for the half bad one: we're going to take a trip to the hospital so we can get some nutrients into you through an IV after checking your blood to see exactly what's missing. Your stomach is probably irritated from all the throwing up that you've been experiencing and I don't want to push it. I believe your vomiting started as a nervous response to all the stress you've been experiencing this past week and that's exactly why it keeps on happening. Which brings us to the main concern here: the constant vomiting is not going to settle down until _you_ settle down."

Rosalie looked me square in the eyes as she said this and I detected a note of sadness seeping in. Her concern made me tear up and I was unable to say anything. I settled for playing with my hands in my lap and avoided her scrutinizing gaze.

"Isabella, as a doctor, I have to ask you this so, please, don't take this the wrong way."

"Okay."

"How are you dealing with everything? Emotionally speaking."

"I'm fine."

Her eyes narrowed. _Uh, oh!_

"You and I both know that's not true. You've been under a lot of stress and you carry yourself like the whole world rests on your shoulders. In these type of situations, one turns inward and tends to grasp on the idea of control, however small and fragile that seems to be."

I kept silent.

"Isabella, have you been hurting yourself?"

My head snapped up and my eyes widened.

"What?! No! I can't even stand the sight or smell of blood."

"How about your need to control your body? How are you dealing with that?" Rosalie kept her interrogation going.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about those marks on your upper arms, Isabella."

"That was an accident."

"OK. Tell me about it. How did you end up with marks that resemble your fingernails on _both_ your arms?"

"It happened on Monday, at the funeral. I didn't even notice until it was too late. I just… I don't know… I guess I needed an outlet, something to distract me from the situation I was in. I didn't do it consciously, if that's what you're thinking."

"Is there any chance the same thing is happening right now? Look at it from this perspective: you're a girl that keeps her emotions under control and lately, you've had to deal with many emotions. Edward told me you were eerily calm on the funeral. Esme told me you've had an emotional breakdown yesterday when Edward brought you here. It seems to me like everything you've kept bottled up is seeping through the cracks and the only way you're dealing with all of this is by denying your body what it craves: food."

I held her gaze but kept my mouth shut. _She's right, you know?_

"I'm not here to judge, Isabella. I promise you that whatever you choose to tell me is under _physician__ \- patient _privilege. I won't breathe a word. However, no one in this family is going to stand by and watch you wither away."

"I'm not doing it on purpose." I defended myself.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I don't know _how_ to explain it. I'm hungry and I know I'm supposed to eat but the thought of actually _tasting_ the food makes me recoil in disgust. It's a losing battle between my conscious and subconscious mind. I want to eat and keep it down. I just… _can't._"

My shoulders sagged and I dropped my head into my hands. The conversation was exhausting. It was exhausting to use words and explain my jumbled thoughts that kept whirling around like storm clouds. My headache reminded me that over-thinking what was going on was no longer an option. _Regular_ thinking was proving a difficulty even _without_ the extra hassle of examining every word and gesture as I normally would have done.

"Isabella, are you still with me?"

"Yes."

Rosalie paused and looked out the window at the sun that was peeking in through the heavy dark blue curtains. I could see her profile as my thoughts whirled and emotions pressed for an outlet. She turned her attention back at me but the look on her face told me her thoughts were far away.

"Would you like to talk to someone? A professional?"

I furrowed my brows. "Why would I want to talk to a shrink?"

"You could get some grief counseling. It would do you good, Isabella. Keeping your emotions bottled up is not a good strategy."

I took a few moments to think about Rosalie's suggestion. While it was true I wasn't making the best decisions lately, I didn't think I was willing to talk to a stranger about the recent events. It wasn't that I didn't trust the whole doctor-patient privilege because I did. However, the thought of telling someone else the fucked-up situation in which I found myself in the middle of didn't sit well with me. Even though I was going through a rough patch, I was a strong individual. I could hold my own no matter the situation. Admitting that I needed professional help would eat away at my pride and I wasn't sure it was something I could do at the moment.

"I'll think about it, Rosalie."

She beamed back at me and gave me a big smile in return.

"That's all I ask. Now that that's out of the way, would you like to wait for Edward to come back from the office and go with the both of us to the hospital or would you rather go with me?"

The thought of seeing Edward wasn't unwelcome. I could have used a friendly face – or at least _hoped_ he would be a friendly face.

"I'd like to wait for him, if you don't mind. I haven't seen him since yesterday and I don't want to worry him more than I've already done."

"OK. Would you like to come downstairs and meet Emmett and Jasper?" She asked with an excited voice.

"Who is Jasper?"

"Oh, I'm sorry. I keep forgetting you haven't met anyone except for Esme and Edward." She threw me an indulgent smile as her eyes sparkled.

_And Carlisle, _my mind spoke up but I kept my mouth shut. No need to go against the wishes of Carlisle and, by the looks of it, he wanted to keep private the fact that he saw me last Friday. I wondered if Esme knew what had happened on that day. My bet was that she _did_ know.

"Jasper is Edward's younger adoptive brother. He was born in Huston, Texas. Esme and Carlisle adopted him when he was seven years old. Jasper is like the younger brother I never had and I hope you'll like him as well, Isabella."

"Oh… I guess now is as good as any to meet the rest of the family."

"Good. You know, Edward hasn't told me if you want to stay here or at his apartment. Did you decide to stay here?" Rosalie asked me as I slipped on some nude Oxfords. _Cute, trendy and comfortable. Where's Alice when I need an applause?_ I thought to myself as I followed Rosalie out of the room and down the stairs.

"I haven't really discussed it with Edward. He only put the options on the table. I'm not even sure I want either one. I have two houses in two different states to live in until I decide what I want to do. I don't want to intrude. Plus, I have Alice to think of… we made plans to live together and I want to stick to that plan."

Rosalie didn't ask for any further information as we descended and went to the living room. Esme was perched on the armchair while her two sons took the love seat and couch respectively. They all looked up at us and stopped their conversation. I could feel the assessing eyes of the two men. It wasn't the I-want-to-get-in-your-pants look that I usually got from the boys around me. They seemed genuinely curios about me, Edward Masen's newest protégé.

Rosalie went ahead of me and wrapped her arms around the tall one who had to be around 6'5". He was muscled like a serious weight lifter, with dark curly hair but the cute dimples and blue eyes that sparkled with mischief gave him a boyish allure. The other man in the room was less tall, roughly around 6'3", had honey blond hair with a slight curl and kind brown eyes. He was muscular but lean, unlike the other. His physique and calm demeanor reminded me of Edward.

They were both dressed casually in jeans and plaid shirts and handsome beyond words. _Is there something in the water that these people drink? Seriously?!_

"This is my fiancé, Emmett," Rosalie said as she put a hand on Emmett's muscled chest, "and this is Jasper." She pointed at the blonde guy who smiled, looking a little shy. "Boys, this is Isabella."

In spite of my terrible migraine, I smiled and shook their hands. I plopped down on the other end of the couch that Jasper occupied and arranged my dress so as to avoid creasing it. The room was quiet as four pairs of eyes settled on me and followed my movement. I felt like I was on display. It was uncomfortable, to say the least.

Esme offered a gentle smile when I looked at her.

"You look a bit more rested, dear."

Not knowing what to reply, I smiled and gave a small nod as an acknowledgement of her words.

"Esme, I spoke with Isabella and together we're decided to wait for Edward and leave for the hospital as soon as he arrives. I want to do a full blood panel and get some vitamins in her as soon as possible." Rosalie said with a gentle yet firm voice. Her tone left nothing else for discussion. In that moment, it was clear to see that Rosalie Hale was confident in her abilities and knowledge and no one dared to undermine her authority.

"I see. In that case, let me call Edward and tell him to come here faster." Esme said as she stood up and walked out of the room. In her wake, an uncomfortable silence settled that made my skin crawl.

"So, Isabella, tell us about you. What brings you to our jolly family?"

"Emmett!" Rosalie screeched but kept an indulgent smile on her lips. "Ignore him. He has this sense of humor that most of the times eludes the rest of us."

And just like that, the tension dissipated as I watched their easy banter. You could see from a mile afar that they loved each other fiercely and would do anything for the other. Their jovial behavior brought tears to my eyes before I could stop myself and get my emotions under control.

"What's wrong?" Jasper's calm voice snapped me out of my teary state.

My eyes snapped back at his face.

"I'm sorry. They just remind me of my parents." I replied with as little emotion as I could as I fought the river of tears that threatened to spill over. I was _so_ over crying and it was less than 24 hours since I started. _We still have a long way to go, Isabella._ My mind reminded me with a stern voice but I couldn't find it in me to focus on that.

Jasper's jaw clenched but otherwise made no gesture for a few moments. He curtly nodded and gave me a small smile, filled with pity. I _hated_ pity.

I tore my eyes away from his face and focused my attention on my hands. My nails needed a trimming before I would be able to hurt someone with them. My hair was also very long, reaching the small of my back even in the fishtail. I briefly thought about getting a haircut; nothing fancy, just a few inches. After all, I still needed my long hair to use as a curtain to block out the curious glances people threw at me on a daily basis. My peers always joked that with my looks and figure, being an attorney would be a waste of time. Sometimes, I didn't think they were joking. _Damn you, 'Legally Blonde'!_

A few minutes later, Esme returned.

"Edward's -"

"Right here!" Edward said from the foyer. He stepped into the living room and said hi to everyone before his eyes settled on me. I felt the burn of his gaze and stared back. He was looking at me like he wanted to memorize every inch of skin he could see. _The lion and the lamb. _My mind whispered. I agreed.

Edward was tired. I could tell from the dark circles under his emerald orbs that he had gotten very little sleep the night before. Otherwise, he looked good. His hair still had a mind of its own, probably due to the many times he ran his hands through it, and his jaw was covered in a light scruff but his impeccable charcoal suit and crisp white shirt made him worthy of a GQ shoot.

"Isabella, Rose, are we ready to go?"

I gave a sharp nod and followed Edward to his car as soon as I felt Rosalie standing up from her seat. I slid back into the back seat of Edward's car – a dark SUV – and stared out the window. I would have liked to stay outside and enjoy the warm weather. I missed the sun and the warmth it filled my bones with.

Edward drove like a maniac and I gritted my teeth to keep myself from snapping at him. All the while, his intense gaze in the rearview mirror stayed locked on me. _Would it be possible to drown in those eyes?_

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**AN: As always, I'd love to read your thoughts on this so don't be shy. Click that review button! It makes me write faster ;)**

**See you Tuesday, my dear readers! Over and out!**

**And happy Easter, everyone!**


	15. Ch 15 - The competition

**AN: Hi, guys!**

**I've just come up from the food coma my mom put me in. I swear to God, the mere _thought_ of food has me cringing right now! She has this idea that at 5'3" tall I should be over 108 lbs. Aaaaand... I'm not. Therefore, my mom stuffs me with food every chance she gets. And I indulge her 'cause she's my mom and I love her :D **

**Anyway, here I am. Rest assured, I'm not dead :)**

**This chapter is in EPOV and I know only a few people expressed their desire to read it but, hey, this is for you, ladies! Hope you like it ;)**

**In this chapter we find out a few things about Edward and Jacob. Personally, I've had loads of fun writing it and I can only hope you'll have loads of fun reading it!**

**So, here it is! **

**Enjoy!**

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_"__What does it mean to be the best? It means you have to be better than the number two guy. But what gratification is there in that? He's a loser—that's why he's number two."  
― __Jarod Kintz_

EPOV

"Don't you look fresh..."

Kate comes into my office, looks me over and wrinkles her nose at me.

"Not now, Kate..."

She raises an eyebrow, challenging me, but decides to keep her mouth shut. _Smart woman._

I fall onto my black leather sofa and scrub my hands over my face in an attempt to wake up properly. I barely slept last night as I watched Isabella, waking every hour to check that she was still breathing and jumping out of my skin each time she cried for help in her sleep. Not even a night full of drinking and partying could top the previous one.

My mind keeps going back to last night no matter how much I try to stop thinking about it. Don't get me wrong, it's not the first time that I've slept in the same bed with a woman – Jane is the last woman that experienced that – but it's the first time I've done that and the woman sleeping next to me was not aware of it. I know it sounds creepy – it probably is, to some degree – but, in my defense, I couldn't sleep in good conscience knowing that Isabella would cry herself to sleep and was highly probable to lose conscience in the process. So I watched as she slept and cried, tossed and turned, mumbled and sometimes even screamed. _Glutton for punishment, that's what you are, Edward._

No matter how I try to justify my need to stay near her, my mind comes to the same conclusion: I like Isabella Swan, I'm attracted to her and I want to get to know her better. She's Jane's exact opposite and that's a huge plus. _And she's all alone and you can play the role of the knight in shiny armor too._ Yeah, that _might_ also be a reason.

I snort loudly at my internal dialogue and run my hands through my hair. _This is getting out of hand_. A notion that is unknown to me. Control is what I do, no matter the circumstances. I am the best at what I do and that's the only reason why I have the biggest office, second only to Caius. I've worked hard to be where I am today and I didn't achieve all this by stalking unsuspecting people.

"Something you'd like to share with the rest of us mere mortals, Edward?" Kate asks with a grin and twinkling eyes.

"Yeah. I'm gonna take a shower and I need a suit for our meeting with the big boss which is in…"

"30 minutes." Kate finishes my sentence before I'm able to look at my watch. "You already have a clean suit and a tie. It's already in your changing room."

I raise an eyebrow and wait for Kate's usual bragging. _In three, two…_

"Yes, I'm _that_ good. Now hop in that shower before Tanya comes in and I change my mind and let her _share_ a shower with you!"

With that visual in mind, I quicken my pace to the bathroom and lock the door behind me. _No need to temp Kate. Or fate, for that matter._

I step into the rain-like water pouring over me and start washing away the grime of the past 24 hours. My thoughts wander back to Isabella Swan and the situation that she's in. Was it really that uncommon for me to take interest in her? The only reason why I haven't dated all the women that constantly throw themselves at me is because I'm a private person. Some would even say I'm shy and hard to engage in a conversation that's not related to Law. I don't mind the whispers and lustful gazes. I even play them to my advantage from time to time.

While I'm thinking about all this, I stand under the hot spray and moan as the sore muscles in my back start to relax. It's the kind of soreness that I would get after a heavy workout, not after watching someone battle their demons in their sleep. The tension leaves my body as the water slides over my back and hits the shower floor. I indulge in a few more minutes of bliss and clear my head of Isabella, at least for the time being. I need to focus on my job and put personal issues aside if I want to have any chance at leaving this office before 3 PM.

As I step out of the shower, I go through my routine on autopilot: I towel myself dry, put on a pair of boxers, socks, a white T-shirt, a shirt, my pants, button down and jacket. I step into my Italian leather loafers and run a hand though my hair that does nothing to tame it, in spite of all my efforts.

I've got my game face on and I'm ready for at least five hours of listening to Caius talk about boring shit that I can't find it within myself to give a crap about. If only Esme were attending this meeting… we'd all have a standing chance at leaving the office looking like humans and not fucking zombies! Instead, we're stuck here in this room under the pretense of talking out future plans and current cases when the real reason is that Caius wants to hear himself talk. Don't get me wrong, the man is a genius in the courtroom. Everyone knows that. Outside of it… not so much. And I'm just too fucking tired to hear him talk about me as if he made me the man I am today when, in reality, all he ever did was bow down to Esme's feet like the good puppy he is. If it weren't for Esme, no one in Seattle would welcome me into their firm while knowing about my ties to Edward Masen Sr. _My fucking father!_

I walk out of the bathroom just as Kate's screaming Jacob Black's ear off. _This day just keeps getting better and better._ I glance at the watch on my left wrist and make a mental note to cut this meeting short unless I want all associates and partners to frown upon me more than they already do. It's not like I care. Yes, I'm a cocky bastard and I'm enjoying every minute of it.

"Agent Black. I'd say it's a pleasure but we both know I'd be lying. Come get me in fifteen minutes, Kate." I say without taking my eyes off of the man standing in front of me. _Never take your eyes off the rat. It's the first one to leave a boat in distress._ Standing in front of him reminds me of the power I hold over his head without him even knowing about it. I could put him out of his misery with all the Intel I have on him but I like watching him as he digs his own grave. It's much more satisfying.

"Sure thing, boss." Kate murmurs and leaves my office, silently closing the door behind her.

I stare at him with a look that says '_I'm way too bored for this shit'_ and wait. It's not long before his long legs carry him a foot away from me but no words leave his mouth. In some other circumstance, this kind of behavior would be corrected with a glare from my part but I'm not in the mood today.

"Well? Are you going to stare at me for the remaining nine minutes or are you going to tell me why you're here?" _Not that I'm interested in the least about your reasons, Black._

"Where is she?" he roars, inches away from blowing up in my face. _Oh, get a grip!_

I remain impassive, my stony posture and cold demeanor concealing the storm of thoughts whirling through my head. Why is Black interested in Isabella Swan?

"Who are we talking about?" I reply with an unaffected voice that surprises even my own mind. I'm a stark contrast to the raging emotions that are revolving behind his eyes. His pupils are dilated and his ragged breathing is starting to get on my nerves. However, his body is pumped full of adrenaline and one small step could make him snap.

"Who are we talking about?! We're talking about Isabella Swan, Masen! Where is she? Where did you take her, Masen?" Black roars once again.

I have half a mind to break his jaw just so he can stop screaming at me like I'm one of his cockroaches. It's OK to pull rank over me when you've earned it but not because you've crawled and kissed each foot that came in your line of vision.

I take a seat on the edge of my massive desk and ponder my tactics for a few moments. It annoys me that I have to sit here and explain myself to him, a rat that couldn't give less about Isabella if she didn't have the misfortune of being related to Charles Swan. No matter how much he wants to play the card of the caring agent that's just looking out after a young woman who has no family left, I don't buy it for a second.

"Pretty little Miss Swan has got you so worked up, agent Black. If I didn't know you better, I'd say you actually _care_ about her." His eyes narrow and his fists clench. _Good._ "You left her all alone, agent. The sharks have come to collect. You're a little late with your theatrics." I continue with a monotone voice.

"Where is she?" he asks with a more collected tone and body posture. _Good boy! Now, heel!_

"Ah, yes! The million dollar question! I'm afraid I can't help you find the answer to that question." I throw a sickly sweet smile in his direction and he's moments away from pouncing. _Really, Black?_

"I wouldn't do that if I were you." I warn him with a detached voice that makes him stop in his tracks. "I shouldn't need to remind you that laying a finger on me would not do you good but I'll do that because it seems like your emotions are clouding your better judgment."

I uncross my ankles and help myself to a glass of scotch. Normally, I'd never start this early but it seems like the Universe has a full shitty day prepared just for me. _Bring it on!_

"Want one?" I ask as I pour myself a healthy glass. I turn to find him staring back at me. "It's not poisoned, agent."

"No, thank you." he politely declines with a shake of his head. _The dog has manners. Now that's a first._

"Suit yourself." I say as I knock it back and wince at the burn. The amber liquid makes its way into my stomach, filling me with welcomed warmth.

"Just tell me she's OK, Masen. That's all I ask."

"Wherever she is, you know as well as I do that she's not OK. She'll never be. Her parents died because you weren't able to keep the situation under control. So don't come here and start making demands as soon as someone else steps in and starts cleaning your mess. You've done enough."

Black keeps silent for a few minutes. I look at my watch and take note of the five minutes remaining.

"I'm in love with her." Black's voice cuts through the silence of my office and almost makes me drop my glass.

I look at him for any signs of deception but find none. _Huh! I guess I've just been proven wrong._

"From the moment I laid eyes on Isabella, she's become the center of my Universe. There isn't a moment that goes by without thinking of her and how she's coping with all this bullshit that I've caused. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I didn't have it in me to stand up to Aro and Ephraim. But I'm not sorry that I've met her. I'm not sorry that I've had the opportunity to sit in her presence and had the honor to see her fighting for her chance. I know Swan wanted me away from Isabella. Aro told me as much. I also know you've had some kind of connection with him in the past. In the name of that connection, I'm asking you to look after her, Masen. I can't do that right now. I want to. I want that _so much_. The guilt and shame is eating away at me.

"Coming here to beg you for information is a huge blow to my ego and you know this but I'm past the point of caring. I want to help her, Masen. But all I can do is sit back and pray to every god out there that she'll make it. And now, I can't even do that. She's gone, Masen. Someone took her and Aro's going crazy on my ass. Like that can even compare to the pure desperation that's settled in my bones. I know you know something. You're a sneaky motherfucker. You always know things that are supposed to be away from privy eyes, yours included. And, right now, I'm fucking _grateful_ that you have this spider web because you can find out where she is and how she's doing.

"I'll do whatever you want me to do. I'll give you information on pending investigations concerning people in your entourage. I'll give you names, figures and anything that I can get my hands on, no matter the cost. I'll do _anything_."

For a split of a second, I consider his offer. I have to admit, having information that no one could get their hands on is a tempting notion that I entertain for a moment. However, Jacob Black is a turn cloak and a rat. _Never take your eyes off the rat._ Carlisle always says. Getting involved with him would be a bad move. _A really bad move_.

"I don't need you to pledge your sword at my feet, Jacob Black. We both know just how much that's worth." _Nothing. _I let the unspoken word fill the space between us. We both know I'll never ask for his help, even if I were on my fucking deathbed. Still, I have to give it to the guy. He's handing me his balls on a silver platter without any questions asked. One would say that takes courage. In his case, however, it's just sheer stupidity. _So much for my admiration._

"Now, if you don't mind, I have a meeting to attend to."

"You're just gonna leave? Just like that? You're not gonna tell me anything?"

"There's nothing to tell, agent Black. But, if you insist, I'll give you a quote I've read in a book. _Washing one's hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with the powerful, not to be neutral._ Keep that in mind the next time you'll be on the sidelines, watching and pretending to be neutral. There _is_ no such thing as neutral."

I leave and ask Kate to escort agent Black out of my office and go home for the rest of the day. No one should be stuck at work on a Saturday. She's _so_ getting a bonus for all the crap she spares me on a daily basis. If the key to a powerful king is the queen that sits in the shadows, the key to my success is Kate, assistant extraordinaire.

By the time I reach the meeting room, it's almost full. The sea of people parts at the sight of me and I bite back a smile. The only thing that could really make me smile would be for this meeting to be canceled. _No such luck, Masen._

I take a seat next to the partners and look out the opposite wall that's made entirely of glass and provides with a stunning view of the Sound. In times like these, I wish I had the ability to tune people out and retreat into the confines of my mind. Black's confession has left me a little unnerved. That idiot is going to do something stupid in the near future.

I can almost smell the restlessness in the air as people come in and try to find a place to sit. It's going to be a long boring meeting that'll have us climbing up the damn walls. Needless to say, I'm not looking forward to being locked up in here with Newton while Jane's throwing sneaky glances in my direction and everyone watching my reactions like I'm on fucking prime-time news. Thank God Tanya's not partner or else she'd be able to sit next to me and I'd have to bat her hands away from my dick the entire meeting while Benjamin rubs her back, completely oblivious. _Talk about awkward._

Five minutes later, Caius walks in like he's on cloud nine. At least one of us is having a good day. Then again, any day that he gets to flaunt his money and power in people's faces is a good day for him. _Whatever._

"Thank you for being here, everyone! As usual, I'd like to start out monthly meeting by addressing…"

I tune out Caius's annoying voice and stare out the window. This is going to be a _very_ long day.

_May God have mercy on our souls._

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**AN: There you go! Like it? Hate it? Let me know ;)  
**


	16. Ch 16 - The hospital

**AN: Hi, guys! Guess who updated earlier? Told you your reviews make me write faster! That and the fact that I felt guilty for being a day late with the previous one... so yeah.  
**

**In this chapter, we meet Angela! And we like Angela, right? _Right! _Good!**

**Also, we see how, little by little, Bella's feelings towards Edward start to change. We like that too, right? _Right!_**

**So, here it is!**

**Enjoy!**

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_"If there is one thing I've learned about hospitals, it's that they aren't interested in healing you. They are interested in stabilizing you, and then everyone is supposed to move on. They go to stabilize some more people, and you go off to do whatever you do. Healing, if it happens at all, is done on your own, long after the hospital has submitted your final insurance paperwork."  
― Eric Nuzum_

BPOV

I don't like hospitals. Scratch that. I _hate_ hospitals.

To be honest with you, I don't have many experiences that ended up in with a visit to the hospital but the few that I did have always ended up with someone dying. Whether we're talking about grandmother Higginbotham, grandfather Swan, deputy Mark or one of my dad's friends, Harry Clearwater, the result is the same: they're all dead and they gave their last breath in the hospital while I was holding their hands. I don't know if these situations were simple coincidences or I have some secret ability that draws in the souls of the dying but one thing's for sure: it was some creepy shit.

Keeping all that in mind, one could easily understand why I was so reluctant to step in to Seattle General. However, Rosalie and Edward had no idea of my weird connection to the sick and dying and I wasn't going to make things even more awkward than they already were. _No, thank you._

"Isabella, for security purposes, you're going to be admitted under a false identity. Unfortunately, your real name would raise flags for anyone looking for you. Also, Rose will pay the hospital bill to make sure your credit card information isn't stored here."

All I could focus on were Edward's lips. The way they moved and formed each vowel and consonant as his velvet voice wrapped around me was hypnotic. Deep down, I was appalled by my behavior as well as my lack of focus but on the surface, I felt like I was in my own protective bubble where no one could touch me. It was a nice feeling, considering the fact that the last few days had been especially hard and I allowed myself a few moments of denial before I opened my eyes and had to face reality once again. I looked at his lips once more and saw that a small smile had formed sometimes during my little daydream. Dragging my eyes upwards, I found two emerald orbs staring back at me. _What were we talking about?_ Oh yes, my new name.

"What name do you suggest?" I asked in a breathy voice. Upon hearing it, I mentally kicked myself and lowered my gaze on the collar of his shirt. Edward swallowed, making his Adam's apple bob. I was hypnotized.

"I would suggest you choose it since you're the one that's going to respond to it while you're here. Keep it simple and as close to the truth as possible. That always works."

"Okay. How about Marie Jenks? Is that simple enough?"

"I think we can work with that, _Marie_."

I smiled and focused my attention on Rosalie who was currently sitting on the sofa and filling my chart with general information and family history. Not long after she started doing that, she asked me about my parents' medical history. It felt weird talking about my parents and, soon enough, tears were streaming down my face. Rosalie took that as her queue to search for a nurse and I was left with Edward in the private room. He reached out and wiped the salty rivers that had flowed down my cheeks.

"I know I have no right to ask you to do this and I know that things like this take a long time to heal but it would make me very happy if you could try to talk to someone about what's going on in that pretty head of yours. I'm all for keeping your emotions under control. It's something that I also do… but there's only so much you can keep locked up before it comes crashing down on you."

In moments such as this one, I wished I could say something meaningful but it seemed like my brain was on a much deserved vacation so I settled for a small smile and a short nod to let him know that I heard him and would consider his advice.

"How long do I have to be here?" I asked so we could change the topic.

"Well, Rose said something about keeping you overnight for observation. Are you okay with that? Rose is on call today so she'll drop by during the night. If you have trouble sleeping, don't hesitate to ask for a pill or something that could help you with that."

"Why would I need a pill?"

"Isabella, you look exhausted. And last night…" he suddenly stopped speaking as if he just realized his mistake and caught himself.

My eyes narrowed.

"Last night what?"

"I…"

"You…?" I prompted, unable to be patient and keep silent.

"I slept in the same room as you last night. I didn't do anything, I swear! I just didn't want to leave you alone, especially after you've cried yourself to exhaustion. I would never… Esme raised me better than that."

I watched with mild amusement as he tried to charm his way out of this predicament and, after a few moments, I decided he was flustered enough and didn't need to drag out the awkward situation. It made me smile to know that he cared enough to spend the night with me when there were more than enough rooms to crash in. He looked tired and I knew it was partially my fault but he hadn't complained about it and didn't threw it in my face either. _Extra brownie points._

"Edward," I said softly as I took his hand between mine, "it's okay. Thank you for staying with me to make sure I was okay. I'm sorry my nightmares kept you awake."

He looked at me in shock for a few second before a dazzling smile was set on his lips. I found myself grinning back.

"I would do it all over again, Isabella. I just wish there was more I could do to help. Watching you cry and suffer like that made me feel helpless."

I could only stare back at him, aware that he wasn't waiting for a reply. And what was there to say anyway? I was terrified and grateful in equal measures when it came to Edward Masen. No matter how much I tried to decipher him, he was a tough code to crack. Could it be possible that Edward was warming up to me? The thought made want to return the favor. I wanted to push myself and try to get better faster. I wanted to try and move on with my life, or whatever was left of it.

Up until this day, the only option that I really took into consideration was to forge myself a new identity and disappear without a trace from the lives of the people that knew me. I had enough money to last me until I would die of old age. I could chase whatever dream I had but something held me back when I tried to imagine a life on the run. Life as a fugitive was not something I ever dreamed about.

Seeing Esme and her family left an ache inside my chest. I wanted to be a part of something like that. I wanted to be a part of a family like hers, filled with mutual trust and respect. But, most of all, I didn't want to live my life on the run, always looking over my shoulder in case someone was after me and would want to hurt me. I wanted to _live_, not only _survive._ And what better way to achieve that goal other than putting a stop to all this running from myself and the people around me. There would come a time when I will have to grab the bull by the horns. Why delay that?

My time alone with my thoughts was soon over as Rosalie came back in my room with a petite brunette in tow.

"_Marie,_ this is Nurse Angela Webber and she'll help me get some blood for the tests. I'd also like to take a look at your abdomen: stomach, liver, pancreas… so we're going to get an MRI for that. I'd also like to keep you overnight to monitor you…" she trailed off as she wrote something down on my chart and smiled brightly after that. "And that's about it. Any questions before we get this show on the road?"

I looked over at Edward and found him looking at me with an intense look on his face. Once we locked eyes, he seemed to snap out of it and offered me a small smile.

"Would you like to go home, Edward? It looks like you could use some sleep in your own bed and I've got Rose here to keep me company."

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I'll come by tomorrow morning and collect you once Rose gives you her OK. How does that sound?"

"Sounds like a plan. Sleep well, Edward."

Edward nodded in response but the smile was gone. In its place, a look of determination settled on his face. He stepped closer to my bed and kissed my forehead before saying goodbye to Rose and Angela who were talking quietly a few feet away, unaware of our _interaction_. Rose prompted Edward to wait for her as he was stepping out of the room and asked Angela to wheel me to the MRI. I was in a daze. _He kissed me._

"I don't mean to pry but… is he your boyfriend?" Angela asked with a calm tone but her whole body buzzed with excitement and her eyes twinkled. I wasn't fooled.

"Um… no. He's just…" I frowned as I searched for the perfect adjective for my unconventional relationship with Edward. "I guess 'acquaintance' would be the right word."

"Oh…" Angela said, sounding a little disappointed. "Well, in any case, it's good to have some support when you have to stay in the hospital. He seems to care about your well-being." She said with a small smile.

I smiled back but kept my mouth shut. Edward's tender kiss had me going in circles, trying to figure out the reason behind such a small yet powerful gesture. But no matter how much I tried to figure him out, something like this happened and screwed up everything I thought I knew about him. _Come on, Bella. You're good at reading people. What's so different about him?_ Maybe there wasn't anything different about him but about me. My reaction to him, both physical and emotional was unlike any other. The thought of him made everything go away until he was everything I could focus on. His mere presence in a room full of people would make me throw everything aside if it wasn't connected to him. And his touch… oh, God, his touch! It instantly soothes my panic and strained nerves like a cold balm on a burn.

The more I analyzed my thoughts and reactions, the more I realized I liked Edward Masen, in spite of the mystery that surrounded him at every step. In that moment, I made a promise to myself: for every wall that Edward's presence would crumble, I would claim one of his.

Time flew by as various people poked and prodded me. I was wheeled around the whole hospital by Angela and by the time we ended back in my room, I was ready to call it a day. Unfortunately for me, I also had to 'eat'. Therefore, an IV catheter had to be inserted into one of my veins so various medication could be administrated without poking me each time. _Thank God for small favors!_

Rosalie came by a few hours later to check up on me and found me nodding off. She looked good in her deep blue scrubs and I wanted to tell her that but my mouth wouldn't cooperate. My body was too tired to keep itself awake and I was losing the battle with my eyelids. Soon enough, all I could see was darkness as I fell into a bottomless sleep.

I dreamed that I was wandering down the halls, looking in different rooms, searching for my parents. The hospital was empty and I ended up in the morgue. Various bodies lied on cold, stainless steel tables, waiting for the coroner to attend to them. His hands reached out for the scalpel and he began opening someone's chest cavity. I drew closer and saw that my mom's body was on the table, her face as peaceful as I saw her at the funeral. Except, this time, her eyes opened and she screamed in pain as the coroner touched her beating heart.

A loud scream woke me up. When my lungs started burning from the lack of air, I realized it was coming from my mouth. I closed my mouth and the sound was cut off, leaving an eerie silence in its wake. My head was hurting and my ears were ringing. _That was a stupid thing to do, Isabella. You're not the only person in this hospital._ My mind admonished me with a cold voice. I got out of bed and tried to stretch my sore muscles but it wasn't really helping.

A few seconds later, Angela stumbled into the room, looking around for any signs that someone was with me but found none. She took in my frightened stance and approached me with caution.

"Marie, are you awake?"

I frowned at her. "Yes."

"Can I come closer and check?"

"Yes?"

Angela looked me over and moved very slowly, giving me time to anticipate each future move that she would take. She took a small pen flashlight and checked my eyes.

"Why did you do that?" I asked, curious as to why she would need to check the reactions of my pupil to light. What was going on?

"To make sure you're awake. I ran here as soon as I heard you scream but there was no one in the room. The only thing I could think of was that you were sleepwalking. Are you OK?"

"I'm fine. Just a nightmare. Sorry."

"Hey, it's fine. It's only 11 PM. The cafeteria is open non-stop and I've still got to eat dinner. Wanna join me? I hate eating alone."

"Yeah… it's not like I'm gonna get much sleep with my head pounding like this." I said with an unconvincing smile as I tried to shake off the odd feeling of the dream.

"Great. Let me grab you a robe and we should be good to go."

We walked together down the empty hallway and I tried my best to block out my most recent nightmare. The whole setting was eerily familiar. It was like I was re-living my nightmare, except that, this time, Angela was walking next to me, making sure to walk slow enough for me to keep up. We stepped into the cafeteria and I took a seat on one of the many empty tables and waited for Angela to return. There were few people around, most of them doctors, hurdled together as they talked animatedly with their hands all over the place. It was nice to see people in their element, expressing their feelings without holding back.

Angela came back with a tray filled with food and grinned when she saw the look on my face.

"Don't worry; I'm not going to insist you eat anything off this tray. I just eat… a lot. Anyway, if you want to eat anything, I'd recommend the chicken breast with the mashed potatoes. The chicken breast is light enough and the potato is known to have a good impact on the intestinal flora, especially the stomach. No fruit or anything with a high acidity while your stomach is repairing itself, okay?"

I liked Angela. She was nice and attentive. You could tell by the look on her face and body language that she was a genuinely kind person, friendly and open-minded. I felt bad for lying about my name but there was nothing I could do to change that at the moment. If I said anything, Rosalie's job would be on the line and that was something I would never dare put in jeopardy.

So I sat and listened as Angela talked between bites of pasta and sips of water about patients, her younger brothers, her father, who was a reverend in Port Angeles, her childhood, her dog, Ben, and everything she could think of. I slowly ate the food in front of me, one bite at a time, while listening to both the funny and sad stories that she told me.

Her attempt at distracting me worked. I looked down at my plastic plate and noticed that it was empty. What started as a means of not making Angela feel self-conscious as I watched her eat proved to be a successful attempt at eating. My stomach felt full but I didn't feel the need to empty it. I felt… good.

It was a nice feeling.

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**AN: Did we like it? Did we not like it? Let me know in a review!**

**Next update should be on Tuesday buuut... it might be sooner. The power is in the hands of the peop-... um... readers! **


	17. Ch 17 - The return of light

**AN: Is this early enough for you to start your Monday with a nice new chapter? This is my treat to all of you dreading the beginning of this week. I hope it'll bring a smile on your face. Remember: smiling is important! As important as chocolate! Write that on a post-it and stick it to the bathroom mirror! :)**

**I've been writing like crazy this weekend. And I mean ****_writing, _****not ****_typing_****. I've found that my thoughts are much more clear when I write them down. I guess putting the words on physical paper does something for my imagination. Whatever! As long as I keep updating ahead of schedule, no one's complaining about the extra couple of trees that die to make that happen, right? Bad joke, I know! Don't shoot me!**

**Anyway, so only a few of you expressed your opinions on the latest chapter. I've replied to those of you that I could and for those that I couldn't (because you are Guests), I just want to thank you from the bottom of my** **heart! **

Leslie, **thank you for making your presence known. I hope you enjoy my little story here. **

Kate, **I hope this brightens up your day!** **;)**

And to the rest of you that don't have a FF profile as well as those that do have, **thank you for your silent support!**

**This little story just hit 10,000 views and each time I'm looking at all the numbers, I'm like: ****_I know they're reading it and that's awesome but what are they _**thinking**_? _****I would give away my left arm to find out what's your opinion but that would only slow down my writing and no one wants that, right? lol**

**Anyway, this AN is waaaayy too long so I'm gonna stop. _Yeah, that would be great._**

**The song for this chapter is Kate Havnevik - New Day  
**

**Enjoy!**

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_"When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives mean the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand. The friend who can be silent with us in a moment of despair or confusion, who can stay with us in an hour of grief and bereavement, who can tolerate not knowing, not curing, not healing and face with us the reality of our powerlessness, that is a friend who cares."  
― __Henri J.M. Nouwen_

BPOV

I woke up to the sound of someone tapping their foot to some unknown beat while flicking through some very annoying sounding papers. At least that's what I thought with all the huffing and sighing that had been going on for the few minutes I was awake and listening. I peeked over the edge of my bed and saw Alice perched on the edge of the couch, looking bored out of her mind while reading a medical journal. _Alice is reading a medical journal? Did I wake up in a parallel Universe or something?_

As I considered the chances of being a part of some prank, my mind had a _eureka_ moment. I had forgotten to call Alice last night, as I had promised, _and_ the night before. And now she was here, tapping her foot and huffing as if her patience was one step away from snapping. This was _bad_!

Almost instantly, I closed my eyes back and pretended to be fast asleep.

"I know you're not sleeping so you can cut the crap, Bella." Alice said with a stern voice that had a slight teasing edge to it. _There's hope yet!_

I peeked over at her and found her dropping the magazine like it was some vile thing that deserved to be burned and never read ever again.

"How do you do that?" My raspy voice sounded foreign even to me. I tried to clear my throat and gulped down a mouthful of water. _Better._

"Well, good morning to you too, sunshine!" Alice teased me back. _Yup! Definitely hope!_

"Good morning, Alice!" I said back with a somewhat cheery voice but kept my calm. I had to tread carefully and start groveling in the very _near_ future. Truth was, I felt horrible for not keeping my end of the bargain like I was supposed to. I had given her my word that we would talk daily and if there's something that Alice knows for sure about me, it's the fact that I _always_ keep my promises. _And yet, you didn't. You've pulled away from her and allowed the darkness to surround you, Isabella._ As much as I wanted to scream at my mind and say it wasn't true, I knew that my inner voice was nothing more than a projection of my own thoughts. I _knew_ that it was right.

"Now that's more like it. Now, as much as I would like to give you a two hour long lecture about keeping your promises and calling me like you said you would – so I wouldn't climb up the walls knowing I've left you alone and possibly on the brink of a _huge_ breakdown – I'm not going to do that. I'm not even going to ask you how you managed to get admitted in a hospital just three days after I've left because we both know this breakdown was a long thing coming with you shutting off and playing the cold heart card. Hun, why did you send me away when you most needed me?" Alice's bottom lip was quivering by the time she finished her speech and her eyes were glassy. _Great! You've made her cry, Isabella. Are you proud now?_

The sight of her almost tears also made me tear up, except my control was lacking in the last few days and there was nothing I could do to stop them from spilling over. Alice came to my bed and grabbed me in a fierce hug as I cried and cried for what felt like hours on end. For all I know, I did just that.

"I'm just so tired of being strong, Alice! I'm so tired of looking back at my reflection and prepping myself to get my emotions under control. I just want to cry, Alice! I miss them so much! But I'm so tired, Alice. So tired! Words can't express just how _tired_ I am and how sick I am of this whole thing. I just want my parents back. I don't want ten million dollars! I just want _my parents_! Why is that too much to ask? Why?" I wailed and kept crying my eyes out while Alice squeezed the breath out of me and rocked me like you rock a wailing child. _You are a child, Isabella. A child without parents._

"That's right, Bella. Let it all out." Alice crooned at me, edging me on as I continued to cry and try to bargain my way out of this situation. But I knew that no matter how much I was willing to give up just so I could have them back, it was never going to happen. My parents were currently six feet under, their flesh rotting away. The thought of them in the ground made me cry even harder.

We sat like that for what felt like eternity until I got my emotions under control and had no more tears left to cry. _At least for the moment._

"Better?" Alice's small voice filled with love brought me back from my thoughts.

"Yes. Thank you, Alice. I needed that."

"No need to thank me, hun. That's what sisters are for." Alice said with a gentle tone. "I want you to remember that, Bella. I'm here now and I don't plan on going anywhere without you. Got it?" The determination in her voice spoke volumes and I smiled back at her, knowing that Alice would always be in my corner, no matter what.

"Anyway, enough with the heavy talk. What are your plans for today, Bella? I've never been to Seattle and it looks like you need some sun and wind to bring some color to your pretty face."

"I have to wait for Rosalie's OK to get out of here. Other than that, I really don't have anything planned."

"Oh, don't worry about that. I spoke with Rose and she told me your blood looks much better than yesterday so there shouldn't be any problem with you being discharged as long as you take it easy for a few days. And I plan on making sure that you're keeping this particular promise, missy!"

All I could understand from that constant flow of words was that Alice had met Rosalie.

"You met Rosalie?" I voiced my question with a curious voice.

"Of course I did, silly! Edward sent a private jet to get me last night and waited for me at the airport. He drove me here in the morning. He's currently at the cafeteria with Rose. They felt like we needed a few minutes of privacy, bless their hearts!"

"And what did you think of her, Alice?" I wanted to know her opinion and get her stamp on approval.

"She's nice, beautiful and very well-mannered. A blonde with a brain. Oh, and she liked my terrible blonde jokes."

"She did?"

"Yes! Though I don't know if she really enjoyed them or just laughed because she's _that_ gracious. Oh, and by the way, have you decided where you're going to stay? Are you planning on staying at the Cullen mansion – which is _massive_ by the way, and you know how we Southerners are with houses – or are you going to take Edward up on his offer?"

"Why?"

"Because, after some heavy bickering with Edward, it's decided I'm going to stay where you are staying. Initially, I wanted to get a hotel room until I find some apartment to lease but Edward wouldn't hear about it, saying I'm his guest and I should stay wherever you choose."

"But, Alice, didn't you plan on staying with your parents until the graduation ceremony so that they could attend it with you?"

"Oh, please! Like I need _another_ week of my dad's glares and my mom's constant nagging! The only highlight of my _vacation_ – and I use that term as loosely as I can – was seeing my grandfather and his latest _wife_ – another loose term – who he parades around his huge mansion. She's 22. He's 62. Imagine that! She's old enough to be my twin sister but who am I to judge? He's happy and she keeps him company. And if it happens to piss my dad off – which it does, by the way – that's an added bonus. Either way, I'm his sole heir, as a payback for my dad cutting me off then I decided to pursue Design and not Med school. So, you see? I haven't been missing out on anything, really. Same crap, different year." She flicked her wrist as if she was getting rid of a fly. "And as far as graduation goes, if you're not there to cheer for me, it's not worth attending."

I could tell from the tone of her voice that there wasn't anything I could do to change her mind but I still tried.

"But…"

"No 'buts', missy. You're the only person I want there and that's final. The decision has been made. Now you're gonna have to decide where to set camp for the next few months 'til Law school… after you pick one of course…"

"About that…" I said with a meek voice I barely recognized as my own.

"Yes?"

"I don't think I still want to attend Law anymore…" I trailed off and watched her facial expressions like a hawk, gauging Alice's reactions. Her eyebrows shot up to her hairline but no sound left her throat. It took a full minute before Alice spoke – something _unheard_ of, until now.

"Okay, I did _not_ see this one coming! Are you sure? And I'm not asking this to question your decision. It's just so… sudden. A week ago, you were taking your last exam and couldn't wait to move forward. A week ago, you didn't know which offer to accept and now…" Alice trailed off with a confused look etched on her beautiful face.

"I know. I just… with everything going on, I don't know if I can do it anymore. It seems like such a far away dream, belonging to a girl that no longer exists. And if I'm not 100% sure, I can't just do it so I can waste time trying to figure out what I would _want_ to do. It wouldn't be fair to take someone else's chance just so I could go through the motions."

"Bella, stop! You don't have to justify yourself to me. if you don't want to go to Law school anymore, then don't do it. Simple as pie!"

"Thank you, Alice, for all of your support!"

"That's why I'm here." Her words made me smile.

"Enough about me! What about you? What are _your_ plans now that you've almost graduated?"

"Weell… I was thinking maybe a could freelance here in Seattle? Bottom line: I don't want to go back home. I want to stay with you and if you plan on staying here for a while, I'd love to see what the Emerald city has to offer."

"That sounds really good, Alice! At least one of us has a plan." I try to lighten the mood with a giggle and Alice indulges me with a small smile.

"Okay, that's enough beating around the bush, Ms. Swan. Tell me about Edward Masen. How did you end up in his parents' home? And don't lie to me. I always find out." She says with a mock serious tone and taps her temple with a sly grin.

I stare at her for a few solid minutes as I struggle to come up with an explanations that would put her in the loop while keeping her out of danger at the same time. _Her simple presence in this room puts her in danger, Isabella._

"Well… I told you about dad, right?" Alice nods. "Edward just wants to make sure I'm okay until the dust settles, you know? As a safety precaution. Also as a safety precaution, I'm here under the name of Marie Jenks so keep that in mind when someone starts talking about Marie Jenks."

"So he _was_ telling the truth last night…" Alice trailed off and I used her pause to cut it.

"You talked to him about this?" I ask with an incredulous voice.

"Of course I have, Bella. I gave him the third degree as soon as I got out of that jet. What threw me for a loop was the fact that he took it and proved his intentions were good. Well, as honest as I hoped he would be, anyway."

"What do you mean? Stop speaking in riddles, Alice, and just spit it out."

"I mean he likes you and _obviously_ goes to great lengths to make sure you're safe. With the whole bad vibe I got from Black this past week, I had to make sure at least Masen is in our corner. And he is."

"He likes me?"

"Is that all you've caught from my whole speech?" Alice asked, looking amused.

_Yes!_

"No, of course not." I quickly deny, trying to defend myself.

"Yeah, yeah! Whatever, Swan. You think you're so sneaky but you like him too, don't you? I would like him too if green eyes were my thing but they're not. He's not hard on the eyes, I give him that. I bet he's beating women off with a stick!"

"Alice! Now is not the time to talk about this!" I hissed back in hopes of shutting her _and_ my jealousy off.

"Look, I know last week has been off the chart. I understand why I'd like to keep a cool head and I actually encourage it. I'm all for being independent and always on top of your game. I mean, one look at my mother and I _know_ I don't want to end up like _that_. God is my witness, I love her to death… but that woman hasn't got a backbone to save her life! So yes, I know where you're coming from. I _also_ know that the best things in life happen out of the blue. And this, my dear, is one of those things."

I had to give it to her. If Alice would ever be in need of a job, a motivational trainer would fit her like a glove. This girl has mad skills when it comes to talking your ear off until you're _thoroughly _brainwashed.

Fortunately for me – and unfortunately for Alice – Rosalie entered my room with Edward following soon after so my conversation with Alice was cut short, at least for the moment.

"Good morning, Isabella. How are you feeling this morning?" Rosalie asked as she looked over my chart.

"Much better, thank you." I politely replied and I glanced at Edward and he gave me a small wave.

"Glad to hear that. Let's get down to business, shall we? First of all, you're responding well to all the vitamins we've been pumping you with so that's good. Angela also told me you were able to keep down your food and that's excellent news. Much faster than I expected! Just do me a favor and don't push yourself to eat heavy greasy food during the next few days. Your liver, pancreas and the rest of your internal organs also look good. Having said that, I think you're good to go." Rosalie finished her speech with a wide smile that showed off her full set pearly white teeth. I smiled back timidly and looked over at Edward.

Edward was dressed casually in a pair of dark washed jeans and a grey T-shirt that made his eyes even more hypnotizing. A pair of green sneakers finished off his look and gave him a young demeanor, a stark contrast to his usual vibe when wearing a suit. To put it simply: he looked like he put on the first thing that came into his line of vision and didn't give a shit about it. He also looked well rested and that conclusion made me smile.

"You look better. It seems like I'm not the only person in this room that's looking better than yesterday. Sleep agrees with you. Your dark circles are gone."

"You're probably right. The fact that I'm not stuck in another meeting with Caius definitely helps."

"Caius?"

"Caius Evanson, the naming partner of - "

"I know who he is." I cut him off. "I met him yesterday when he came by unannounced. You mother wasn't too pleased about that, by the way."

"Did he now? What did they talk about?"

"You. And Jane."

"Jane?" Edward asked with a confused look on his face. "What about Jane?"

"He came to play Cupid and tried to get Esme to change your mind about your break-up. She said it was your call and that she wasn't going to get involved in your business." With every word that left my mouth, the confusion on Edward's face grew. "What am I missing here? Why do you look so confused?"

My question snapped him out of his current state and he blinked rapidly as if he was trying to blink the sleep away from his eyes.

"I _am_ a little confused. I never told Mom about Jane."

"I think she knew about you and Jane before you were even a couple. The way Caius acted, I doubt there's anything else he's been discussing with your mother during his visits."

Rosalie's laugh broke through the bubble in which Edward and I had been.

"What's so funny, Rose?" Edward asked with a slightly annoyed look.

"You should know better by now. Nothing escapes Esme Cullen, not even your love life. Even Isabella here figured that out and she's only known Esme for a day." She then turned at me and giggled. "I have to give it to you, you're observant. So, what _did_ you think of Caius Evanson?"

"Honestly? He made my skin crawl. I considered a bath after we shook hands." I replied sincerely. Rosalie didn't strike me as someone who would willingly put up with bullshit and sugar-coating. Her bright smile confirmed my assumptions.

"And you haven't met his daughter yet."

Edward shot her a glare that I think was supposed to make her heel but Rosalie only raised an eyebrow.

"What? It's true and you know it. I haven't seen anyone more fake than her and keep in mind that I deal with people on a daily basis around here. I don't know _what_ you saw in that girl." Rosalie said with a sneer and a mildly disgusted look.

Edward smiled cheekily lie the cat that ate the canary and opened his mouth to reply only to have Rose cut him off .

"I do _not_ want to hear about your sex life, Edward! I draw the line at that!" She said with a horrified look. Her pager went off, saving us all from further conversations on that topic. _Thank God!_

"Gotta go, kiddies! See you all at dinner tonight! Alice, a pleasure to meet you! Edward, I'm putting you on charge of Ms. Swan. Don't fuck up!"

And she was gone, leaving us looking at her retreating form like we would watch a tornado that barely touched a town. Alice was the first one to snap out of her daze. _Thank God for Alice!_

"Well? You heard your doctor, Bella. Get dressed! I've had my quota of depressing places for a year, at least!"

"Yes,_ Ma'am_!" I mock saluted her and ran to the bathroom.

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**AN: There ya have it! Happy? I sure hope so! **

**Soooo... what do you think? Let me know! The next update won't be on Saturday buuuuuttt... your reviews will decide just how _fast_ I'll upload the next chapter. Keep that in mind ;)**

**Have a lovely week, everyone!**


	18. Ch 18 - The patriarch

**AN: Hello, everyone! Guess who's back?**

**So, I missed yesterday's deadline but it's Friday morning so I hope it's early enough for you to start your day with this new chapter :D**

**My mom's doing really good so, here I am! Thank you all for your lovely words! It truly meant the world to me. Oh, and mom says "Hi!" :D**

**This is a light chapter with some girl time that both Alice and Bella needed. I'm still at odds about the next chapter. I can continue from this point or you could read Edward's POV. You can't have both so think hard and let me know in a review or a PM. I will take note of your wishes so the majority will decide. Each review and PM matters so don't be shy ;)**

**I would also like to thank all of you for sticking around during this brief hiatus. Thank you for your fave's and follows and... everything! Knowing that there _is_ someone who's reading this story is what keeps me going. Or else, it would sit in a dusty folder on my laptop... like many other stories.**

**Anyway, here you have the 18th chapter!**

**Enjoy!**

**PS: No song for this chapter. I've been listening to too much music these past few days.**

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"A leader is a dealer in hope."

— Napoleon Bonaparte

BPOV

Two weeks had passed since the death of my parents and my emotional health hadn't been improving. What had been improving – and that's putting it mildly – was my ability to block out thoughts that ripped me open when I allowed them to take over. I started getting better and better at putting on a brave face as I built walls to keep away the pain and the loss. I occupied my time with all kinds of distractions and did my best to stay away from all the heartache of the past. For the most part, it worked. But when it stopped working, the searing pain ripped through me with a force that was beyond my means of coping. It happened at random times but, fortunately, Alice wasn't near to witness any of them. It happened as I looked out the window, as I watched the sunrise, as I walked the fine line between awake and asleep, as I caught a glimpse of Carlisle's profile as he talked with Edward. It would paralyze me and I would try my best to keep my poker face on but I wasn't so sure it was working, especially when it came to Edward.

Edward Masen had been watching me closely in the past few days so I'd taken up to my latest plot of defense against his prying eyes: avoidance. His burning gaze would follow me around, checking for signs that I was not okay. I was aware of his presence on an instinctual level. Whenever he was around, my body seemed to sing, to long for his burning touch and comforting presence. He was like heroin and I was the addict. But I was denying myself, for reasons unknown even to me. I was denying the craving of being close to him, of hearing his reassuring words, of feeling the trail of fire that his touch left on my skin. To say I was attracted to Edward would be an understatement. And yet, I chose to stay away from him.

"Bella, what happened with Carlisle?" Alice asked me with an innocent voice but I knew better. She was fishing for information. I'd had years of practice with this type on inquisition but I didn't always find a way to avoid it.

We were in my room, the same blue room I woke up in almost a week ago. Esme had been more than elated to know that I would stay in the Cullen manor. _"This way, I'll see my son more frequently."_ She had said with a departing wink, leaving me speechless in her wake. Her premonition seemed to be correct since Edward seemed to spend more time here than at his apartment. _Could it be?_ Nah…

"Nothing happened." I answered a little too quickly to hope for plausibility. Alice turned around and narrowed her eyes. _Uh, oh!_

"Really? You expect me to believe that?"

"Alice, nothing happened." I said in my most convincing voice that I could muster on such short notice. Alice's look told me it didn't work. It only got her even more curious than she already was. _There's no escaping this, Isabella. _My mind whispered back and buckled up for the impending conversation. Or, better said, _inquisition._

"Okay… so then why are you avoiding him like the plague?" She said with a casual tone and a side glance.

"What?" Alice's ability to pick up on my moods and emotions was starting to creep me out.

"Oh, come on! Every time that man is in this house, you find a reason to go out. That's why we went to the film festival, the painting exposition, the Opera… You'd do anything to escape the slight chance that you could end up alone in a room with him. Don't think that Sunday dinner escaped my notice either."

I opened my mouth to deny her accusations but Alice's raised eyebrow made the words stop in my throat. I shut my mouth in a nanosecond and looked away, aware of the fact that whatever I would choose to say, Alice would have a very good counter-argument because she was right. I _was_ avoiding Carlisle Cullen. Not just him but the rest of the Cullen family also, Edward included. What should I tell Alice? Should I keep my mouth shut and pretend this conversation never happened? I knew that she would never allow this to go down so easily with everything that had been going on.

"So, what's the deal?" Alice's voice broke me from my thoughts. _Nope, definitely not letting this go._

"There is no deal." I said as I focused my attention on the back garden I could see from my window.

"You sound like such a lawyer and you haven't even gone to Law school yet." Alice said with a slight wrinkle of her nose. "What's up with you and Carlisle? And don't tell me it's just my imagination because I'm _not_ buying it, honey. I'm _this_ close to locking you two in the same room until you get over this. _You_ chose to stay here after our little family chat on Sunday, need I remind you? We're here because _here_ is where you decided to set up camp and it's rude to repay the Cullens for their hospitality with avoidance. Everything seemed fine on Sunday. Then, all of a sudden, you're hiding away from everyone and the patriarch of this family is your worst enemy. What's going on, Isabella Marie Swan?"

I was also at the Cullen manor because if I would have chosen to stay with Edward, I would have ended up waylaying him. Damn hormones! _We both know it's more than just hormones, Isabella._ My mind replied with a smirk but I chose to ignore her, as per usual. Now was not the time to add another type of feelings into the already dangerous cocktail that my mind hosted.

"I don't know what to tell you, Alice."

"The truth would be a great start." Alice murmured with a resigned tone of her voice and a heavy sigh.

Her words made me laugh out loud with an appetite. A full blown laugh that was borderline manic escaped my lips before I had the chance to stop it. It scared me but I still couldn't stop it. The sound bounced off the walls of my _room_, an echo of all my frustrations and fears. I was letting go of all the tension and everything that I had been going through the past week. In a way, it was purging. Who knew a good laugh would make me feel so free? Who knew I could still laugh after all these crazy days?

After I refrained some of my manic tendencies and regained some composure, I took a few moments to sort through my thoughts. It wasn't as easy as it was supposed to be.

"It would be, wouldn't it? Except, I don't know what is the truth and what isn't. I've been fed all these stories of good and bad ever since I can remember and then, all of a sudden, I discover that everything around me is nothing more than a big lie. My dad wasn't the hero I painted him to be. My mom paid that price and it seems like I'm paying the interest right now. Nothing was the way I thought it was and it isn't even that important anymore because my parents are dead. The same people who killed my parents could be after me and I have no idea who they are.

"I'm not safe anymore so I always have someone monitoring my every move. I have to rely on people whom I really don't know anything about and I have to believe that they are on my side just because they said so. Add to that the fact that I met Carlisle the day I found out my parents had died, pretending he was Aro Volturi, and you get one _big_ clusterfuck!" I said as I paced my room like a caged animal. Then again, maybe I _was _a caged animal. It wasn't like I had any freedom left with people lurking around, trying to get their hands on me.

"Hold on a second! You met Carlisle _before_ Sunday dinner?" Alice asked, bewildered.

"Yeah."

"Oh… wow! Let me have a moment here to regroup."

"Take as much times as you need." I said as I collapsed on top of my bed, face down. _Emotions are exhausting!_

A few minutes passed before Alice's voice broke the silence that had settled over us. I was beginning to think she had fallen asleep. _Or gone into shock._

"So that's why you have been avoiding him…" Alice trailed off as she thought about the implications of my _meeting_ with Carlisle Cullen. I hoisted myself in one elbow and watched her closely. "What happened that Friday? And don't you dare leave anything out. You've already done that once and look where it got us. If we're going to form a game plan, we might as well start communicating. We are a team, right?" Alice said as she pointed a perfectly manicured nail in my direction.

"Right!"

"Well, then it's time for you to start acting like it. Tell me everything."

-"-

"Wow!" she breathed out as soon as I stopped speaking.

"Yeah…"

"Give me a second here. Wow!"

I watched Alice closely during my story, looking for signs of fear or any other emotions that could tell me that she wanted out but all I could find was genuine curiosity, paired with genuine surprise. My friend was all in, as far as I could tell. And, right now, she was in shock. _ Welcome to the club, Alice._

"Bella, this is serious."

"Did I give you the impression that it wasn't?" I asked, contrite.

"No. It's just… the magnitude… it's bigger than I thought. The whole Mob is after you, Bella. Oh. My. God!"

"What did you think it was? Did you think I was lost inside my head and paranoid over nothing? That I was scaring myself over nothing?" I asked with a small smile even though there was nothing funny about my question.

Alice also cracked a smile.

"Well, with your tendency to get lost inside your head among lists and plans and my tendency of jumping the gun, I did… in a way. One lunatic on your trail was bad enough but more?! That's just…" Alice trailed off with a frown. I agreed with her.

"So, what's the plan?"

"I don't have a plan." I stated simply, my voice devoid of any emotion.

"Bella Swan without a plan and Alice Brandon without an opinion. Are you sure the Apocalypse isn't upon us?" Alice joked but we both knew that something was terribly wrong with everything that was going on. She grabbed me in a tight hug and I clung to het like a lifeline. Without her to distract me, I would have ended up in a mental facility with all the crazy things that had happened during such a short period of time. Each time I thought I had regained control, something or someone would pull the rug from under my feet, leaving me even more disoriented than before.

Once again, silence settled as we both surrendered control to the thoughts inside our heads. I kept going over what I knew and what I suspected but my thoughts were too scrambled inside my head to form a coherent plan of action.

There were moments when I wanted to get away from everything, my mind included.

There were moments when I just wanted to wait and see what would happen if I chose to stay put.

Edward had promised that he would take care of everything and, so far, he had kept his promise. However, Edward wasn't God. He could only help me so much before it would be too difficult even for him. What would happen then? Who would I turn to? My Godfather? That option seemed very unlikely. Jason never stroke me as a man who would stick around if things ever got on the heavy side. So, who else was there?

No matter what plan I would think of, it all boiled down to the people that I would have in my corner. Deep down, there was only one person who showed up in all equations: Carlisle Cullen. I was willing to bet my entire inheritance on the fact that the only thing that had kept me safe so far was the fact that I was in his home.

"There is this old but wise adage that I keep going over." Alice said with a calm voice that cut through the silence in the room like a knife through butter. "If you can't beat them, join them."

"What?" I asked, shocked.

"You know exactly what I mean, Bella. You may not know it but you've already taken a step in that direction."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you're already in the Cullen house. To the casual observer, you've chosen to stay close to a influential family who already has a lawyer that could be your mentor. To the trained eye, you've already chosen a side. You chose Carlisle Cullen's side."

I looked at my friend in a stupor. _I chose Carlisle Cullen._ Did I? _Didn't you?_ My mind asked me. It _did_ look that way, didn't it?

"I agree that Friday wasn't the start of a beautiful friendship with Carlisle. However, avoidance can only get you so far. You can avoid him for as long as you like but, sooner or later, you _will _have to talk to him. Tell him how you feel, let it all out.

Worse case scenario, we leave this mansion and go to Edward's place; best case scenario, you have someone who knows how things roll in these type of situations on your side. You'll get all this off your chest and Carlisle Cullen finds out what you want. He will find out what's your approach on this once you get the key to the safety deposit box. Win-win. I think he also has an interest in that. He has to. Otherwise, why would he agree to be a part of Edward's plan to keep you under the radar?"

As always, Alice was right. Then again, Alice had a habit of being right.

_Join forces with the Cullen patriarch?_ Could I do that in clear conscience? _Do you have another choice?_ My mind asked back. No, I didn't. Choices were a thing of the past but considering the fact that my past had been nothing but a lie, I couldn't say I missed those times.

"As per usual, you are right, Alice."

"I thought you would agree with me…"

"Yeah. So, do you mind if I leave you alone for a bit while I talk to Carlisle?" I asked, weary of Alice's reaction.

"Not at all, hun. You go and do your thing. I'll be rearranging your closet in the meantime."

"Really, Alice?"

"Oh, shush. I need to clear my head after all this heavy talk and recent revelations." She said with a hint of a smile in her voice. It made me smile in return. "Go!" She said as she pushed me out of the room with a little more strength than I'd anticipated.

I stumbled into the hall and corrected my posture in a matter of seconds. My game plan seemed good at first glance but on a closer inspection, it wasn't.

First of all, I had no idea where Carlisle Cullen was since I had spent the last five days avoiding him and making sure he was nowhere near me. I always made sure to ask Maria where he was before leaving the second floor where my room was located. Call it paranoia but every time I felt someone near, I would look around and pray to all Gods and saints out there that I wouldn't come face to face with Carlisle. My prayers had been answered so far but I was about to go in the lion's den by my own choice.

Second, I didn't know what I was going to tell Carlisle once I would find him. From what I could tell, Carlisle Cullen was a man who waited to see what move you're going to make before moving his own piece on the chess board.

And last, but not least, I wasn't sure just how much I could trust Carlisle. He definitely had his own agenda, just like Alice had said. How much could I trust him to keep me in the loop and not leave me out in the cold, crazy people after me, after he would get what he wants?

My feet carried me outside of the family office and I paused in the doorway. The room was big, fully furnished, the walls covered with books, trinkets and family pictures. It had a cozy feel to it because of the warm colors that covered each available surface, the leather and dark wood desk that occupied a lot of space. But the only thing I could focus was Carlisle's lithe body as he paced around and spoke on the phone.

As if he felt my presence, Carlisle looked up and appeared genuinely surprised to see me.

"I'm going to call you in an hour. I expect you to have everything I need by then. Goodbye." Carlisle said in one breath and hung up without waiting for a reply from the person on the other end. "Isabella, this is a surprise. To what do I owe you this visit?" he said with a pleasant voice and a calm demeanor.

"We need to talk." I said with as much conviction as I could, in spite of the spiders that were currently creeping up my spine.

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**AN: A little cliff-hanger, anybody? :D**

**Next update: Tuesday! **

**Let the voting _begin_!**

**xoxo**

**\- Violet**


	19. Ch 19 - The allegiance

**AN: Hi there!**

**As promised, here is chapter 19. In BPOV, since I had one vote for BPOV and one for EPOV. Sorry, _devil's fate_... maybe next time :) **

**Thank you, _devil's fate_ and _bj188, _for expressing your wishes. It's nice to see that _someone_ reads these long author notes :)  
**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

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_"Consider intentions carefully. Karma gives a damn about ego, awards allegiance to none, and its justice is truly blind."  
― __T.F. Hodge_

BPOV

I grew up under the watchful eyes of my parents who always made sure to give me advice and tell me stories about their childhoods meant to teach me how to react in various situations. They told me about their struggles as young adults and, later, as parents so that I could draw conclusions on my own and know what to strive for. Whatever I chose to do, at any given point in time, was always carefully weighed against the set of values that had been engrained inside my head. I had been taught to love God, to love my parents, to love those around me, to be grateful for every single thing I had, to work hard for every single thing I got or wanted to get and, most importantly, to follow the law.

If my life were an object of my choosing, it would be, without a doubt, a house. My life would be a sturdy house, with a solid foundation that would be able to withstand whatever storm I would go through during my lifespan. But my parents' deaths brought that house – my life – crashing down around me. The lies, the double life that my dad had lead, had brought me right to the edge of the cliff, staring down at the darkness, with no sense of direction. And it all ended with me here, in the house of a man whom I suspected had ties to the people who had killed my parents. _They must be rolling in their graves right now._

The house was eerily quiet and that notion was weird if I stopped to think about it. Carmen and Eleazar were quiet as cats, moving around the house without making a sound. They must have had years of serving the Cullens in order to perfect this ability of being so quiet. And, yet, Carmen never spoke English. Could it be that she only knew Spanish or did she only pretended not to know English so that the guests would speak freely around her while she listened and reported back to Esme or Carlisle? _Anything is possible in this house. I wouldn't be surprised if a Tooth Fairy lives in this huge mansion._ I thought to myself.

"I'm listening." Carlisle said as if he was expecting me to barge in and demand an audience. Then again, why wouldn't he expect me to crack at a certain point? The man standing in front of me definitely had a plan. I would go as far as to say even that Friday had been a part of some master plan that only he had knowledge of. Then again, maybe I was just being paranoid. I wouldn't put it past me at this point in time.

"I want you to know that what you did on that Friday scared the living shit out of me. Lying to someone who had just lost their parents is not the best plan you could have come up with, even if it was on short notice - which I don't believe not even for a second. You're not the type of man that is taken by surprise. Edward... maybe, but you... you'd have to think I'm really stupid to buy that kind of crap.

"And at the Sunday dinner... that was another level of awkward. To be at the same table with a man I knew nothing about other than the fact that he could have some hidden agenda with me is not on my bucket list. I'd wish you didn't do that but it's not like either of us can turn back time and act differently. So, tell me, what is your plan?"

"What makes you think I have a plan? I did what I did for Edward's sake. Believe it or not, that boy has a thing for keeping promises and there was no way in hell he would ever break his promise to your father. I agree that his plan wasn't the best there was but it's done now."

"So, what now?" I asked with narrowed eyes.

"Now, you have to decide what you want. Are you going to stay here until things settle down for a bit and then take off to parts unknown? Or are you going to face the music?" Carlisle spoke with a calm that set my nerves on edge. This man _did_ have a plan.

"I don't want to disappear." I whispered with a clenched heart.

"I see... And why won't you take the easy way out? You have no children to look out for, no other family that would mourn your disappearance." He kept on pushing me, throwing everything in my face and waiting for my reaction.

"But I would have people looking for me. I don't want to spend the rest of my life running away from an invisible enemy. I'd rather put my back against a wall and face whatever is coming my way head on. "

"And who is going to be your wall, Isabella?"

"You. I'm going to give you what you want in exchange for what I want."

"And what is it that I want?"

"All the information that I'm going to get on Monday."

"That information does not concern me. I'm not in there." Carlisle said with a wave of his hand.

"I know you aren't. You would have kissed my ass these past few days just to make sure you'll get your hands on it. But you didn't. Instead, you offered your home and your unspoken protection without cornering me into admitting that I needed your help. Let's face it, Edward's reputation can only keep me safe for so long. Your influence goes beyond that. You are a part of the Family, aren't you?" I asked with a calm voice that masked the storm inside my head.

"What makes you think that?"

"Actually, you made me think that. Your attitude, personality, expectations from those around you… and Esme. I saw the same calculating that you had that Friday look on her face, when Caius came to visit, unannounced. She had the look of someone who could crush the other person without batting an eyelash and yet, there she was, drinking lemonade so she could listen to him and not blow his brains out. That level of calm can only come after tears of practice, after years of listening to inferior people speak as if they are superior. Am I right or am I right?"

His smile made me believe I was spot on.

"You are as brilliant as I thought the first time I saw you. Even in that state of grief, you knew what to do and what to get. Granted, you didn't have all the information so you didn't make the right choice but you had the courage to get yourself out of a situation you thought was bad for you."

"So it was all a test?"

"Yes, Isabella. It was a test. A test to see if you were good enough. To see if you were worth taking you under my wing. Ever since you first saw me, you've been taking a test. A test to see if you could control your mind and your emotions. And you passed it with flying colors."

"How did I do that?" I asked, confusion coating my voice.

"You remained vigilant, Isabella. You didn't trust people just because you had been told to. You didn't out people just because you had been taught to. And you didn't choose the easy way out even though that's what 99% of people in your situation would have done. You stand out, Isabella, even though you don't do it on purpose. No one thought you would be hard to contain. No one thought you would choose to take this side."

"I chose my side the moment I stepped into this house." I whispered but Carlisle still heard me.

"Yes."

"And what did you gain from that?"

"Your allegiance."

"Why was that so important?"

"I don't surround myself with idiots. And what they did to your parents… well, that was the work of idiots. Their idiocy left you without your mother. Their idiocy left you in possession of important documents that can mean their end."

"And you want to take them down with that information." I said as I pieced each piece of the puzzle together, forming a much clearer picture in front of my eyes.

"Yes." He replied, curtly.

"Why? You want a higher rank? Is that your end goal?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"No. Emmett, my natural son, has no intention of following my footsteps, neither do Edward or Jasper. Even if they did, my heir would have to have my DNA so that would be out of the question anyway. Consider this the insurance policy of my heirs. My bloodline will disappear, Isabella, but my enemies won't." Carlisle replied with a calm voice, unaware of the war going on inside my head.

I was his _insurance_. Somehow, my voice disappeared as my mind struggled to keep up with the new information that it received. It was one thing to _suspect_ it and a totally different one to actually _hear_ it. My life was only worth as much as other people dared to bid on my head. _That_ was reality. And I was here, in the lion's den, trying to bargain my way out of a situation I shouldn't have been in the first place. _Thanks, Charlie! All those millions came at their own fucking price: my life!_ I grounded my teeth as I struggled to maintain my composure but I was losing my grasp on my temper. I was seconds away from blowing and Carlisle Cullen was none the wiser.

"Isabella, are you alright?" His voice cut through the red haze that had covered my mind. My eyes snapped back at him, taking him in. Demon or angel, I had to see this through, even if every cell in my body wanted to run away._ And where would you run, anyway, Isabella? Into the arms of people who could do hurt much more than just your feelings?_ My mind asked her rhetorical question. She was right.

I almost burst out laughing but contained my erratic emotions in the last second. What was it to him, anyway? He had just admitted that he didn't give a shit about me and just watched me as I stared into the abyss in front of me just so he could see how far I could bend before starting to protest. Did it really matter what would happen to me as long as he got his _insurance policy_?

I stared blankly back at Carlisle Cullen, searching for words that could express my anger, fear and disappointment. My brain was in shock. All I could think of was how far this knowledge stretched. Had Edward known all along what had been going on in his father's head? I opened my mouth and asked Carlisle the question that burned on my tongue.

"Did Edward know?"

"No."

I checked for signs that he was lying but found none. _At least we got that out of the way_.

"Are you going to tell him?"

"Yes."

"When?" I pressed on.

"When the time is right. Now is _not_ the time to start making revelations that could drive a wedge between my family." Carlisle replied with a cold voice that left nothing up for discussion.

I frowned.

"Why would your actions drive a wedge between your family?" I asked, genuinely curious why any of the Cullens would give a shit about my mental health.

Carlisle Cullen tilted his head and regarded me intensely.

"My son is very fond of you, Isabella."

"Which one of your sons?" _Edward?_

He chuckled as if he were remembering a good joke. _Or maybe he thinks I'm a joke._

"All three of them are but I was talking about Edward. You're more than just a promise he has to keep. But that's his business and I won't go there. At least, not for now." He added with a smirk that only served to fuel my confusion and anger. He seemed _pleased_ that Edward was _fond_ of me. _What _is_ his plan?_

"You don't seem to have a problem with that." I pointed out with a detached voice.

"That's because I don't. I may not use the most orthodox methods, Isabella, but the end goal is always my family's safety. They are all I treasure and I'm willing to sell my soul to the Devil just so I can make sure that they are safe. In a way, you were collateral damage, even though I didn't set out with that thought in mind. But when opportunity presents itself like this, one should always take it and make the best of it. Your appearance in my son's life is one of those opportunities." Carlisle explains carefully, keeping a close eye on my reactions but my poker face keeps everything under a mask of calm.

"And you chose to make the best of it even though it was on my expense." I said with narrowed eyes.

"I can see why you would look at it like that but it's not like I'm the first person to do that. Aro Volturi beat me to the punch, didn't he?"

I gasped and my eyes widened before I could control my reaction to his words.

"Who told you that?"

"Oh, I have my ways, Isabella. No one can deny me access to the information I want because _everyone_ has a price." He replied with a smirk and tilted his head, gauging my reaction.

"I never stood a chance." I whispered to myself but Carlisle also heard me.

"Isabella, contrary to your belief, I did not want to harm you. If I would have wanted to do that, I would have made sure you never gave that deposition on Thursday. Instead, I just sat by and watched. You're a smart girl, Isabella. Tell me, what would _you_ have done different?" He challenged me, his tone hard as stone.

"I wouldn't have sat by and watched as some poor soul was left alone, mourning the death of her parents and do nothing about it!" I snapped back in spite of the voice inside my head who kept on telling me not to lose my cool. _Too late now._ I thought bitterly.

"I took you into my home!" Carlisle snapped back, obviously irritated by my behavior. _At least I'm not the only one._

"You only did that because you knew you could get something in return!" I spit through clenched teeth and narrowed eyes as my whole body was being fueled, once again, by anger and pain. "Would you have done all this if Edward didn't care and I had no information to _repay_ you for your _kindness_?" I asked, a sarcastic bite to my tone.

Carlisle's silence was my answer.

"You only pretended to care because, in the end, you need me here until you get what you want. And that's fine. I get it. I really do. I would probably do the same thing if I had my family's safety resting on my shoulders. As you already know, my dad did a piss poor job at that so I know what would happen if you don't do what you usually do. But don't expect me to _thank _you for making me the sacrificial lamb! Don't expect me to _believe_ this act you're putting up because I don't! I'm with my back against a wall right now and I need to know if I can rely on that wall to stay strong. I can't waste my time glancing over my shoulder in case you have a knife, ready to stab me in the fucking back! I'm not going to play your games, Carlisle Cullen, while my life is on the line!"

My voice had been raising steadily in octaves ever since I started talking and, by the end of my speech, I was shouting, purging away my anger and frustrations. Deep down, I knew this was not how it was supposed to go but it was too late to stop once the dam broke. Words kept pouring out of my mouth as my blood pressure kept on rising and my ears started ringing. I was seeing red. _Literally._

Carlisle opened his mouth to say something back and I prepared myself emotionally for what would come but Edward's voice from behind me cut through the tension in the room like a knife, making me jump and turn around.

"What's with all this screaming?" He asked with a calm voice. Or maybe it was just my impression after the tirade I had unleashed on his father.

I ducked my head and kept my mouth shut. Edward's piercing green eyes bore holes on the right side of my skull.

_Shit!_

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**AN: See you Saturday!**


	20. Ch 20 - The kiss

**AN: Hello, boys and girls!**

**I'd like to apologize for being late with the update. As some of you might know, yesterday was the Champion's League Final and, as a football (soccer) fanatic, I _had_ to see the match live so there was no way I could have posted this yesterday. Again, I am truly sorry!**

**This chapter is a little on the short side _but_ I hope the content is more than enough for you to overlook the length of it ;)**

**The song for this chapter is Jeff Cardoni feat. Jules Larson - For this sin. It fits it perfectly and I hope you guys will listen to it.**

**Anyway, here's the chapter!**

**Enjoy!**

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_"We kiss all the time." I clear my throat, then add, "We just...do it in private."  
A smug expression crosses his face. "I don't buy it for a second, 'cause if you were my girlfriend and a stud like me was livin' in your house, I'd kiss you in front of the guy every chance I got as a reminder."  
"A reminder of w-w-what?"  
"That you were mine."  
― __Simone Elkeles_

BPOV

There's a lot to be said about silence, especially when you're supposed to be talking but your mouth can't spit out the damn words that keep going round in circles inside your head. Sometimes, the other person waits patiently as your body and mind seem to have picked that exact moment for a standoff. Other times, the other person isn't so patient and throws you glares that, unfortunately, do nothing to help the situation in which you find yourself stuck.

That last scenario was the exact one I had found myself in and had no idea how to get out of. The only thing I _could_ do – and I did it shamelessly – was to drink in the man standing on my right as his father looked at us with a mildly amused expression, as if he was aware of something that both Edward and I had no idea of. Maybe he was. He certainly knew more than me – and possibly even Edward – when it came down to what was going on and what was going to happen in the near future.

However, I couldn't find it within myself to care. _Snap out of it, Isabella!_ My mind snapped back at me.

I blinked rapidly, breaking the spell that Edward's presence seemed to cast over me every time he was close to me. Those damned hormones were going to be the death of me, I was sure! I idly wondered if all the women who came in contact with Edward had a hard time remembering themselves or if it was just me in that situation. But was that a bad thing? Was it so bad that I focused my attention on something else other than the sharp pain I felt each time I thought about my parents, the time I had spent with them and how it all came to a halt?

People move on, people forgive and sometimes, they even forget. _Could I ever forget how I ended up in this situation?_ Probably not. _But should I continue to dwell on it?_ Definitely not. I focused my attention back at Carlisle who was the epitome of calm, such a different reaction than what I had expected after my emotional rant. _Where is the anger?_

"Isabella and I were in the middle of discussing some things. Nothing to worry about." Carlisle said with a dismissive tone and a flick of his wrist as I pursed my lips to keep myself from screaming again.

Edward glanced briefly at me, taking in my appearance and then nodded curtly at Carlisle.

"If you don't want to tell me, that's fine. Are you done arguing here or should I wait with mom in the solarium until you're done?" Edward asked, a cold edge to his voice that I didn't miss and Carlisle definitely didn't, either. Carlisle, however, remained impassive to Edward's cold demeanor and tilted his head to the side, looking in my direction.

"Well, Isabella? Are we done here?" Carlisle asked with an unaffected voice while I was praying for the ground to open up and swallow me whole so I could be spared the embarrassment. However, I knew it was just wishful thinking and I was going to face the consequences of my actions, sooner or later. I nodded, my voice gone, probably hiding somewhere where I couldn't make us of it and embarrass myself even further._ Traitor!_ I excused myself out of the room a few moments later, Edward hot on my heels. He grabbed my left arm and spun me around, my palms colliding with his solid, suit-clad chest. I breathed in his intoxicating yet soothing scent.

This man had the power to shut up my brain with his mere presence.

"Care to tell me what that was about, Isabella?" Edward asked, his head dipped so he could look me in the eye as he spoke with me. Concern was etched upon his handsome features but it only served to further enhance his allure. I found myself staring at his pouty lips as if they held all the answers to all my questions, even though in the back of my intoxicated mind there was a voice that screamed at me to remove myself from his arms. But that voice was useless when it came to Edward Masen.

"You heard your father." I murmured and looked away from his intense gaze. I was, once again, losing my control as I thought about my previous conversation with Carlisle Cullen.

Edward's grip tightened but he let go a few moments later to grip my chin and force me to look him in the eye.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" He said with a gentle voice that brought tears to my eyes. I bit my lip hard to stop the tears from falling and nodded as I thought back to Carlisle's words. The unexpected sting sobered me up in an instant. I was in a whirlwind of emotions, on a rollercoaster I couldn't come down from, grasping at whatever I could, trying to stop and just… _think_.

_Is my presence in this house causing issues in the family?_ If so, was it my business to try and calm things down when no one around me was giving any signs of any type of strain? Esme Cullen had to know what was going on in her family and yet, she hadn't said a word about it. At least, not to me. _Should I be the one to broach the subject? If so, how do I do that?_ That line of thinking brought fresh tears of frustration to my eyes, clouding everything in my vision. Not that it mattered, my head was a mess anyway. Was there anything else that was waiting in some dark corner, waiting for me to uncover it?

"Hey... are you crying?" Edward asked softly as his warm breath fanned over my face making me close my eyes and enjoy the warmth of his body. It would have been so easy to block out the world and my mind as long as I was in his arms. His presence always made everything feel better.

"I'm just emotional, I guess." _And I'm losing my grip on my emotions, something that has never happened before._ I added silently as I looked away and tried to focus my attention on something out of my body and block out my thoughts that were creating havoc inside my head.

"Does it have anything to do with your conversation with Carlisle?" _Oh, Edward. That's just the tip of the iceberg._ I nodded and bit my lip to get my body and emotions under control.

"Stop biting it," Edward whispered, his eyes locked on my lips as he pulled my bottom lip from between my teeth, "you're gonna draw blood." He whispered the last part with a longing in his voice that made my heart clench.

His voice surrounded me in the empty hall, wrapping me in a safe cocoon that held promises of safety. His proximity, his body heat, his voice and intense look snapped something in me as i looked up at him.

The thing that snapped was my resistance.

For five days I had avoided Edward Masen, trying to get my thoughts in order and my longing under control but I only accomplished half of my goal. I had managed to sort through my thoughts and emotions but my feelings towards Edward remained the same. He was like a drug that I couldn't avoid, no matter how much my brain taught me the opposite.

No matter how much I wanted to keep lying to myself, deep down, I knew that that was all I was doing: lying. Truth was, I was attracted to Edward Masen on more than just a physical level. Sure, he was handsome and his mere presence in a room made my heart beat like I'd just finished a marathon but it was more than that. Even though my only relationship had lasted under a month (college boys and patience do _not_ go in the same sentence), I had admired my fair share of boys from afar. As much as I tried to convince myself that this was also the case with Edward, I knew deep down that I was lying to myself. This thing for Edward was more than lust.

While I was having this mental debate with myself, Edward closed the gap between us, a shiver running down my spine as I anticipated the touch of his lips. As soon as I felt his lips touching mine, my brain shut down, leaving only sensation on my mind. We were both tentative at first, testing pressure and friction. His left hand rested on the small of my back as if he was making sure I wasn't going to pull away. As far as I was concerned, I had everything I needed right here, in his arms. And Edward seemed to agree with me.

We lost ourselves in the kiss, not caring that we were in the middle of the hallway and anyone could interrupt us. Our tongues battled for dominance, our lungs fought for air and our minds wanted more. Was i seriously considering the idea of more after just a kiss? "Yes, you are." My mind whispered back without missing a beat. "You wanted this ever since he touched you at the funeral." Was that only two weeks ago? It seemed like an entire life had passed.

Edward broke the kiss a few moments after I touched the silky strands of hair at the back of his neck. He rested his forehead on mine, his proximity leaving me breathless and wanting more. I leaned into him and closed my eyes. I wanted to pretend for a little while longer that it was just him and me, in our very own reality, somewhere safe where no one was after me and the information I would get my hands on.

We sat like that for a few more moments, staring into each other's eyes as our lungs filled with much needed oxygen. _Did that really happen? Or is my mind playing tricks on me?_

"Say you'll go out with me tonight." Edward spoke with pleading eyes. I was dazzled into submission by the need in his eyes. It resonated with the need inside my soul to _connect, _to stop feeling so… out of focus.

"Yes, I'll go out with you tonight." I replied with a breathy voice. _Really, Isabella? Is your brain disconnected or something? _My mind sneered back at me, a look of disappointment on her face.

His reaction to my words was a blinding smile that took my breath away. I smiled back timidly, already planning how I was going to break the news to Alice. Turned out, I didn't need to think of a strategy because someone cleared their throat to our left. We both turned our heads to the source of the sound and came face to face with my best friend who was sporting a rather smug grin.

"There you are, Bella. I've been looking _everywhere_ for you." Alice said with a dramatic huff but the shit eating grin was locked in place. _Sure you have._ I raised an eyebrow meant to show her exactly how much I believed her but that didn't spoil her mood.

"Are you done _talking_ or should I come back later?" _This girl does not do subtle. _I thought to myself as I rolled my eyes at her jab. Edward simply chuckled and shook his head lightly.

"She's all yours, Alice. But, I want her back by 7 PM." He said with a smile and winked at me before heading towards the stairs and out of my line of vision.

As soon as Edward's feet touched the stairs, Alice grabbed my arm and almost dragged me to my room in a rush. She was on a mission and nothing was going to get in her way. _Oh, boy! This is about to get _very_ interesting!_

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**AN: Sooo... what do you think? Is it everything you imagined it to be? Let me know in a review!**

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	21. Ch 21 - The date

**AN: Hi, guys!**

**Six pages in one day?! I've impressed myself! *grinning like an idiot***

**This chapter kind of wrote itself. All I had to do was prepare my fingers. So yeah...**

**Next chapter, EPOV! No voting, though I'd like to know if you're looking forward to Edward's thoughts on their date :)  
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_"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort. You fight for it, strive for it, insist upon it, and sometimes even travel around the world looking for it. You have to participate relentlessly in the manifestations of your own blessings. And once you have achieved a state of happiness, you must never become lax about maintaining it. You must make a mighty effort to keep swimming upward into that happiness forever, to stay afloat on top of it."  
― __Elizabeth Gilbert_

BPOV

After telling Alice about my conversation with Carlisle, we took a few minutes to think about what we were going to do in the near future. It was clear that Carlisle had a plan that involved keeping me safe, at least for the moment. But there was something about the way Carlisle looked at me and Edward. Like he approved. _Could that be true?_ Was my mind playing tricks on me, planting things that weren't true? Or was I able to see that look because I had seen it many times before in my dad's eyes? I was… _confused._ Yes, confused.

While Alice raided my closed in search for an appropriate dress that I could wear to a restaurant, I took my time to think about my conversation with Carlisle. He didn't seem opposed to the idea of me and Edward becoming an item. In fact, he had told me that that I had passed his test with flying colors. I suspected that the test had something to do with my loyalty towards him and the fact that I didn't speak to anyone about that Friday had earned me extra brownie points. But was that enough for the head of the Cullen family to accept me as a part of the family or would my flying colors only get me so far? Then again, he had asked me what I planned to do after I would receive the information my father had left me. Did he ask just so he could perfect his initial plan or did he do that so he could make changes to the initial one, in my favor? It was hard to tell.

As an outsider, I could understand his position. Until I would give him something worth protecting me over, why would he put anyone in danger for me? It was the same reasoning I had applied with Aro Volturi. Would I have done the same thing in his place? Definitely. _Family comes first. Always. _My mind replied without missing a beat. _You have been taught as much, Isabella. Did you forget?_

If there was one thing that had been drilled in my skull ever since I could remember, it was that family always comes first. You put everything aside when it boils down to your family. Pride, money, power... it all means nothing when there's no one in your corner. It was the reason I felt so out of place, unable to find some resemblance of peace until Alice came back. As far as I was concerned, she was the only family I had left. Without her, all the money that I had and everything that came along with it wouldn't have meant a damn thing. Alice kept me going. Without her, I would have been nothing more than a pile of meat and bones, running around like a headless chicken.

I spoke with Alice about what had happened in Carlisle's office and she agreed with me, for the most part, anyway. We decided it was better to wait this one out since there wasn't much we could do anyway, given the circumstances. Monday, it seemed, was going to be the day at least half of my questions and nerves were going to be answered and put to rest. The other half would have to wait until I would figure out what was going to happen. To say I was at my wit's end would have been the understatement of the year!

"What do you think of this one?" Alice said and effectively snapping me out of Dream Land. She was holding a sparkly backless emerald dress with long sleeves. It was so not me.

Seeing the frown on my face, Alice rushed to get me to try it on and then make my decision.

"It's really lovely." Alice said, trying to convince me that this was the dress. "All you need is some black thighs and black pumps to give you that optical illusion of longer legs – not that you'd need that anyway – and you're good to go. Make-up will also be minimal since we want the dress to be the center of attention..."

On and on she went until I said I approved this was the dress.

"Great!"

And so we spent the next hour or so, with Alice trying to get me to agree with some crazy, fancy hairstyle and me turning her down each time. In the end, we decided on some loose curls that I would gather at the nape of my neck in a side ponytail.

"You look fabulous, Bella! I can't wait to see the look on Edward's face when he sees you." Alive said as she bounced around, making it very difficult for me to keep my eyes on her. Then again, this was common knowledge when it came to Alice. She had the energy of a kid and, most of the time, I had trouble keeping up with her.

After a good five minute routine, Alice took a seat on the couch next to me and hugged me tight. _Thank God! My head was starting to hurt just looking at her!_

"I'm so happy you've decided to give normal life a go, Bella. And going out with Edward is definitely a step in the right direction. He likes you and you like him. Please don't over think this and just... try to have a good time, okay?" She spoke with pleading eyes.

I nodded my reply and she beamed back at me. It took so little to make Alice smile that I had to give in to her wishes from time to time, even though, sometimes, that meant getting out of my comfort zone and doing something completely out of character. _Like going out with the son of a man who still hasn't decided if he's interested in my safety or not._

We spent the rest of the time chatting and planning the week-end so we would have something to do and not want to climb up the walls.

"That is, if Edward doesn't kidnap you for the week-end." Alice trailed off suggestively.

"Alice!" I shrieked, caught unaware of her line of thinking.

"Oh, come on! Like I don't know what's going on in that head of yours." Alice snorted and hit my shoulder playfully. "It's okay to want someone, Bella. And from my vantage point here, I'd say you're very interested. Let's be honest, what's not to like about him? He's smart, driven, handsome, has made a name for himself... the list could go on and on. He's the perfect match for you." Alice said with a dreamy smile.

"Alice, don't you think you're thinking a little too far? I have yet to go out with him. What if he has these weird habits that will put me off completely?" I said with a serious voice and a slight smile.

"Oh, I'm sure he's not perfect. And knowing your track record, you'll definitely find something you can wrinkle your pretty nose at but as long as it's not a hard limit, try to get over it. No one's perfect. You just have to find someone who fits your own quirkiness." Alice, ever the relationship therapists, said and stuck her tongue out at me as I frowned. _I'm not weird... right?_

"Do you think I'm weird?" I asked with a hurt voice.

"Oh, there's no doubt about that, hun." Alice said with a smile and rushed to finish her thought as soon as she saw my face falling. "But it's a good kind of weird, don't worry. I'm sure Edward will have a blast in your company. Nothing that ever escapes through that filter of yours is ever boring." She finished with a wink and skipped over to the walk in closet. She came back with a pair of death traps that would surely be my shoes as I pleaded with my eyes to make her change her mind.

"Bella, have you seen how that man towers over you? You need all the help you can get. And don't tell me you don't know how to walk in these shoes because you've already worn them at least twice."

"Yeah, well, the fact that I've worn them before and didn't break my neck in the process doesn't mean that I _enjoyed_ walking in them." I pointed out in an attempt to make Alice change her mind even though I knew it was never going to happen. _Might as well embrace the pain, Isabella._ My mind snickered back at me. Sometimes, I wanted break from that voice.

"True. But you_ are_ going to wear them. You're probably going to a fancy restaurant where everyone is dressed to their nines. You _do_ want to look good on his arm, don't you?" Alice asked with a tone that had me covering back in fear and shaking my head. "Good." She said as she looked me over once again before nodding her approval. I was ready. _With six minutes to spare! Who would have thought?_ I said to myself, impressed with Alice's perfect timing. Then again, the girl worked like clockwork.

In spite of my dismissive behavior, Alice was right. Plus it wasn't just about looking good on Edward's arm because I had never been just arm candy and I wasn't going to start on that road especially now. If I was going out with Edward to some place where I would, undoubtedly, meet someone from the Family, I wanted to look like the strong woman I wanted to be and not the scared girl they expected to see – even if they were right with their assumptions.

-"-

"You look... exquisite. It will be my honor to have dinner with you tonight, Isabella." Edward said with a burning gaze as soon as he was able to form a coherent thought. He kissed the back of my hand, barely brushing his lips on my skin but I felt it deep within my bones. _And there's that spark again._

"Thank you, Edward. You look dashing yourself." I said with a wink and a big smile.

I had met him at the bottom of the stairs where he had been waiting for me. He was dressed in an impeccable charcoal suit with a crisp white shirt, a few buttons undone and no tie. But his physical appearance came second as soon as I felt the air cracking around us, like it was charged with electricity. A few more minutes in this room and I would have had problems with my breathing. It was _that_ intense. His stare was burning, his emerald eyes almost the color of obsidian due to his dilated pupils. He looked ready to devour me. _Don't act like you didn't entertain that particular idea, Isabella. _Can't say I didn't.

"We should leave before mom gets here and refuses to let us leave the house without taking pictures." Edward said with a grin. I let him guide me to his car, a beautiful Aston Martin that was almost the same color as my dress. I briefly wondered if Alice could see the future but pushed the thought aside with a giggle. Edward looked at me with furrowed brows.

"No wonder you liked my dress so much. It's the same color as your car." I teased him as he opened my door and I eased my body inside.

"Trust me, you do _not_ want to put images of you and my car inside my head, Isabella. That is, if you still want to go out." He said with a mischievous grin before his features morphed back into the ones of a gentleman. _Whoa!_

In true Bella fashion, I blushed and looked away, unable to give him the cheeky response that he deserved. If any other man would have said those words, I would have been out of the car and back into the house in record time but with Edward, my mind was already in the gutter. _Damn hormones!_

Edward laughed at my lack of response, completely erasing the tension that had been in my muscles ever since my conversation with Carlisle.

I cleared my throat and tried to make conversation with the man on my left. He looked so good driving, so in control. I was fascinated by the way his fingers were wrapped around the steering wheel, how his muscles clenched and unclenched as he pressed the gas and breaks. Granted I couldn't see much underneath that suit that hugged him in all the right places and made him look like a runway model but my imagination was proving to be quite helpful in that department.

"So, where are we going?" I asked with a neutral tone as I tried to reign in my hormones and the desire to jump in his lap and get us both killed.

"My favorite restaurant. It's called Place Pigalle and serves the best French dishes in the state, in my humble opinion. It's not expensive so the risk of running into snobby clients and people I'd rather avoid in my spare time is minimal. Have you been there?" He asked, excitement present in his voice.

"No. Dump me in the middle of Chicago and I can get food in less than a minute. Dump me in Seattle and there's a good chance I might starve to death." I said with a small smile and Edward started to laugh a hearty laugh. It was a full, inviting curving of lips that crinkled the corners of his eyes and lit his face with beauty. I was mesmerized. _Is he real?_

"There's never a dull moment around you, Isabella Swan." He said with a shake of his head as soon as he managed to get some air back into his lungs.

"So I've been told." I mumbled but Edward still caught it.

"Who told you that?" He asked and turned to look at me for a beat before retuning his eyes back on the road. He was genuinely curious and not just trying to make polite conversation. In the brief moment I'd managed to see his eyes, I saw a spark of curiosity that I usually saw in Alice's eyes when she was really curious and in a good mood.

"Alice."

"Speaking of Miss Brandon, did you two have fun this week?"

"Yeah... We were both excited to roam the city like tourists. I got to experience it after more than ten years since I'd last visited Seattle. It was nice. How was your week?" I asked quickly, trying to change the subject. The last thing I needed was to start talking about the reasons I had avoided Edward for five days.

"Boring. I had a trial this week. Other than that, there was nothing that could hold my attention for long periods of time." Edward replied as he weaved his way through traffic with such grace you wouldn't have thought he was driving a car. He seemed so capable. Then again, why wouldn't he? He had the world at his fingertips and didn't seem to have demons chasing away his sleep, unlike me.

"What is on your mind, Isabella?" His velvet like voice caressed me as we stopped at a red light. _Should I lie and say nothing? _Then again, what _could_ I have said without looking like the complete mess that I was? My calm mask gave nothing away but the storm inside me was threatening to rip through my mask.

"A lot of things, Edward. And, please, call me Bella. Isabella sounds so… formal." I said with a small smile.

Edward smiled at my request and soon after that, parked the car with ease in downtown Seattle. He hopped out of the car and opened my door in less than two seconds as I tried to keep my jaw from falling onto the sidewalk. _Who said chivalry is dead didn't meet Edward._ I a shy smile found its way on my lips as I whispered a _thank you_.

The restaurant was really nice, cozy and with a nonsense feel to it. The shiny black and white checkered floor reminded me of _Alice in Wonderland_, the Hallmark version. We passed round tables and took a seat in a more intimate corner. Soon after, a waitress came over to give us our menus.

I already liked it and we hadn't even ordered.

"What is it?" Edward asked, a few inches from my ear, sending shivers down my spine. I had to breathe in a deep breath before I could turn and look at him, much less think of a reply. _What was I thinking about? _Oh, yeah…

"I like it here."

"Really?" He sounded surprised, like he was expecting me to bitch about the location.

_With a view like this over the Puget Sound?_ _Not a chance in hell! _My mind disagreed with the look on his face. Did he think I was waiting for him to take me out to some fancy restaurant just so people would see me on his arm? Was his comment in the car actually a warning?

"Really? What's there not to like? Unless our waitress is secretly crushing on you and she'll spit in my food, we're okay."

_And there goes my mind-mouth filter. Shit!_

I opened the menu and perused the list of appetizers like it was the most interesting thing in the world while Edward had an incredulous look on his face. It took a few moments before he snapped himself out of his daze and grabbed his own menu.

"You never cease to surprise me, Bella." Edward said with a smile as he continued to read the menu.

"Is that a good thing?" I asked, humor present in my voice.

"Yeah, it is. It's like a breath of fresh air. You see, people have expectations when they see me and know what I do for a living. So they act accordingly, sometimes trying to be someone who they aren't just so they could impress me or give me the impression that they're better than me. It's very rare to find someone who speaks their mind, without all the pretense and the careful crafted façade. I crave that. I crave the simplicity, the lack of filter."

I swallowed nervously as I listened to him and averted my eyes but he wasn't going to have none of that. His hand reached over the table and grabbed my chin gently, guiding my face in his direction. His eyes were smothering, causing a shiver to run down my spine.

"I can't stay away from you, Bella. I tried. I know you tried the same thing but failed. It should make me feel better that I'm not the only one who failed at staying away. It does, in a way. I'm like an addict, unable to make my brain stop thinking about you. You're like a drug to me, Bella."

"So what you're saying is, I'm your brand of heroin?" I teased, trying to lighten the mood.

He smiled swiftly, seeming to appreciate my effort. 

"Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin."

_And so the lion fell in love with the lamb._ My mind whispered back. _But the lamb has also fallen in love with the lion, hasn't it, Isabella?_

**_Yes._**

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**AN: You like? Let me know! ;)  
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	22. Ch 22 - The feelings

**AN: Hello, my lovely readers!**

**Here is Edward's POV. Hope you like it!**

**Also, we get to find a little bit more about the Cullens (Esme and Carlisle to be more specific) so that's an added bonus... right?**

**And what about Edward? Weeeelll, you'll just have to read the chapter to see what I'm talking about ;)**

**Again, what is underlined belongs to the original Twilight story. Thank you for reading and I hope you'll enjoy this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it.**

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_"I've never minded it," he went on. "Being lost, that is. I had always thought one could not truly be lost if one knew one's own heart. But I fear I may be lost without knowing yours."  
― __Cassandra Clare_

EPOV

For someone who takes pride in being as efficient as possible, I've been doing a piss poor job at it all week and the only person that can be held accountable for that is me. Kate's been riding my ass all week and, frankly, if it wouldn't have been for her, I would have sat in Caius's office and listen to him talking about the hard work that this firm does on a daily basis on more than just one occasion. Not like he could do anything else other than piss me off but still… why cause headaches without a good reason?

I keep thinking about my father. Carlisle has a plan. That much I can tell for his cryptic replies and unusual absence from my meeting calendar. He's planning something big and I'm willing to bet my last name that it's tied to Isabella. But I don't know what he has in mind because he keeps avoiding me, just like her.

To the casual observer, my father may seem a ruthless man that would walk on piles of bodies if it means that he'll get what he wants in the end. Part of it it's true and it goes back to his training in the Family. You don't get where he is without a good amount of salt to take everything with. However, it's very rare that I get to see that part of him, especially since no one from our family would take his place once he steps down. But stepping down isn't easy. You don't just get out of something to which you pledged your life without having to pay a price for that. And the usual price is death. If my father wants the information that Isabella will give him, what does he plan to do with it?

This brings me to the force behind my inability to focus and give a shit about anything: Isabella Marie Swan. She's been avoiding me in spite of our moment on Saturday and I can't figure out why. Well, actually, I have an inkling as to why she would raise this wall around her and only let Alice Brandon inside but in order for my theory to be proven wrong or right, Isabella would have to speak with me. And since I can't seem to be in the same room with her ever since Sunday, I have no fucking idea what is going on inside that pretty head of hers.

I push the papers and folders on my desk aside and put my forehead on the cold wood. It's Friday and I've promised mom I would visit as soon as I'm out of the office. Since Isabella doesn't want to speak with me, I've decided it's better to take myself out of the equation and stop making her feel uncomfortable, even if being away from her is against the wish of every cell in my body.

_Since when do you give a shit about feelings, Masen?_ My mind asks with a sarcastic tone.

Apparently, since I've met Isabella Swan.

-"-

As soon as I step in the house, I can tell something is amiss. Call it my sixth sense or some shit like that but something is not right. Eleazar greets me as soon as I hit the foyer and leads me to the solarium where mom's having her afternoon tea with a calm demeanor. _Maybe it was just my impression._ I think and try to shake off the feeling that I had a moment ago.

"Edward! I thought I was going to have to lure you here with the promise of a case just to see you, darling." My mom says as she kisses both my cheeks and throws an acid remark at the same time. Can't say I blame her. I promised to help her set up some charity gala and I haven't really done anything except bail out. _It was bound to happen sooner or later._

"Hi, mom!" I say as I kiss both her cheeks in return and hug her tight, needing the comfort of her scent and presence.

"Is everything alright?" She asks with a frown as she takes in my appearance.

"Yes. No. I don't know." I say as I scrub my palms over my face like I'm trying to get rid of the sleep from my eyes on an early morning. It's supposed to make me think clearer. It's not working. No matter how much I try, I keep coming back to Isabella's avoidance and lack of communication. Why was this bothering me so much? I offered my help and made my intentions clear… well, _kind of_ anyway. And she just chose to look the other side.

"Edward? What's this about? Does it have to do with Jane?" Mom asks, worry showing on her face.

"Thank God, no! About that, Isabella said something about meeting Caius on Saturday. How long have you known about me and Jane and didn't say anything about it?" I ask, genuinely curious.

"Well, I've known about Caius's dream to marry her daughter to you ever since I adopted you. You know I was supposed to marry him and merge "Evanson and Platt" under one name and keep it in the family. Since that obviously didn't happen, you were the next best thing. He's been pestering me about talking to you so you could mend things with Jane ever since you broke up."

I. Am. Stunned.

"Really?" I squeak but try to mask it with a cough. Mom isn't fooled.

"Really. So if it's not Jane, who are we talking about here? Isabella?" Mom asks with a look that tells me she's confident she hit the nail on the head. _She has._

"Yes, it has to do with Isabella. I don't know, mom... I haven't spoken to her this week and each time I tried to see her and talk to her, she kept coming up with all this bullshit excuses – pardon my language – that I will never in a million years buy."

"Oh, my dear, sweet boy. You have it bad." Mum says and chuckles.

"Mom..."

"I haven't finished my piece yet so shut up and listen." She cuts me off with a stern but playful look. "You remind me of your father, back in the day when he started courting me. He was so intense that sometimes I would feel overwhelmed." Mom sighs and has a dreamy look on her face, a clear sign that she'll get lost in the memories of her youth.

"Your grandfather wanted me to marry Caius and unite our families so you can imagine the uproar Carlisle's appearance caused. He threatened to disown me. Your great-grandfather called his bluff and told him he couldn't cut me from money he didn't have in his own pockets. And I was caught in the middle. On one side, Caius was all over me trying to get me to listen to my father. On the other side was Carlisle who wouldn't take no for an answer and was willing to do _anything_ to get me to say yes to him. I was caught between duty and love. And it's very hard to get over something that's been engraved into your head ever since you could understand what people around you said.

"Isabella is in the same situation, more or less. She doesn't know us and how we all came to be together as a family and she has to come to terms with all of this. On top of that, she's in a precarious position when it comes to her safety. The last thing on my mind, if I were her, would be a man. Don't take it personally." She finishes off her speech with a kind smile that settles at least some of my worries.

"So what do you suggest?" I asked, genuinely curious.

My mother was a force to be reckoned with, when the situation demanded it. She is smart, educated, knows when to act and when to look from the sidelines and, to top it all off, she is beautiful. I'm sure she had men crawling on their knees just for a slight chance of being the object of her affections but she chose my father. She chose to go against the wishes of her family and almost lost everything in the process. However, looking at her now, you wouldn't be able to tell that. She is the strongest woman out there, even stronger than my mother was. I focus my attention back to her, trying to get away from the memories that often plague me.

"I suggest you make your intentions clear and see what she thinks of it. Play your cards right and you might have a shot." She says with a sly wink and takes another sip of her tea daintily.

"I won't have a shot unless she and dad have a long talk. I'm not the only one she's been avoiding like the plague. Dad's no. 1 in that list. And I don't see her willing to step into his path." I point out with a scowl.

"Have you spoken to your father?" Mother asks as soon as her cup hits the table.

"Yeah, I did." I reply as I run my fingers through my hair as I recall that _particular_ conversation.

"What did he find out?"

"James has a target on her back." I say as I clench my fists even tighter when I think back to that son of a bitch. I am already collecting information on him, no matter what dad's approach might turn out to be. _Always have a back-up plan._ His voice rings through my head as if he'd just spoken a few seconds ago and not many years ago.

"It could be worse. Your father's name should keep him away." Mom says with a collected demeanor and a detached voice. It's the same Carlisle uses when he knows something others aren't privy to.

"It doesn't keep dad away. Did he tell you his plan?"

"Of course."

"How did that work out?"

"I told him it's a stupid plan. Mutual trust is the only way to do this and playing the card of the uninvolved bodyguard is not a good idea. Isabella will be a part of our family. I can feel that in my bones. Carlisle doesn't believe me. At least not completely. He'll see. In the meantime, try not to judge him too harshly."

If there is someone I would bet on being right, that person is always my mom. But I still find myself doubting her words. The only person that can know what's going on in dad's head is himself. The same goes for Isabella.

I open my mouth to tell her just that but the voice of Isabella screaming cuts me off. I excuse myself from the room and quickly walk to the office where I find Isabella screaming at Carlisle with a passion. _What the hell is going on here?_

-"-

Bella is breathtaking. There is no other word in the dictionary that could describe perfectly the vibe that she's giving off. When she laughs, it's like millions of bells chime. She throws her head back and her eyes close, exposing the beautiful column of her delicate neck. Then those sapphire eyes find me again, making me lose my train of thought for a few seconds before I say another joke that makes her repeat the process all over again. I'm loving every minute of it. I love making her laugh. No wonder Black fell for her. _And he saw her at her worst._ If he could see her now, he'd commit murder to have her.

"Edward?"

Her voice snaps me out of my thoughts and I focus back on her. Her eyes are twinkling like she's on a joke I'm missing. _Maybe I am._ Do I even care as long as she's here with me and laughing like this? _Nope._

"Yes?" I reply and take a sip of my wine.

"I asked you if you wanted desert."

"I'm game if you are." I dare her. From the way her eyes flicker, I'd say Bella is game for much more than just dessert.

"I saw this chocolate crème mousse and I'm dying to try it. Have you ever had it?"

Actually, I've never had it because all Jane would eat was a salad and by the time she'd finish it, I'd wish I'd never brought her here in the first place. There's only so much I could take of all the whining and pouting, in spite of my legendary patience.

"No. But I'd like to try it. Can we share?" I ask and give her a dazzling smile that falls short off its target as soon as Isabella narrows her eyes. _Someone doesn't like sharing_. Then again, neither do I. _But I'm not talking about food._

"You can ask me many things but sharing something that's made out of chocolate is not one of them, Edward. I'm sorry but I have to draw the line here." Bella replies with a smile and a bossy tone. I'm seconds away from picturing that voice in my bedroom. _Get your mind out of the gutter, Masen._

I raise my hands in mock surrender.

"Okay, okay. There's no getting between you and chocolate. Duly noted."

"Good. I'd hate to have this conversation again." She says with mock serious tone that has me smiling.

I chuckle and motion for the waitress to come over. Ever eager to push her rack in my face, Miss whatever-is-her-name almost trips in her rush to come to our table.

Bella, like a red blooded woman that she is, narrows her eyes but keeps her mouth shut. _Interesting._ Other women would have spit fire. _I know that for a fact._ I think to myself as I remember Jane's behavior. It seems like Bella knows her behavior reflects on more than just her person. _Another quality to add to your list, Masen?_

"We'd like two chocolate mousses, please." I say with an even tone as I hand her our dessert menus.

"Anything else?" The woman asks with what would seem a sultry voice.

"Anything else, love?" I ask Bella as I lean towards her to get my point home. _Forget the chocolate mousse; I'd like to have you for dessert. _

Bella's eyes widen and she almost chokes on her drink. Her eyebrows rise, almost reaching her hairline and shakes her head no.

"Did you really have to do that?" She hisses as soon as our waitress is out of earshot.

"What exactly did I do?" I ask innocently.

"Don't pull that move with me, _love_. I have _years_ of experience with Alice and that look. So the girl likes you. Can't say I blame her. You dazzle me each time I see you so it's not like I can hold it against her."

"I dazzle you?"

"Yes. And don't act like you aren't aware of it."

"It seems only fair. After all, you also dazzle me."

My words apparently have the ability to make her feel self conscious because she ducks her head and studies the napkin in her lap with too much attention.

"Bella? Did that make you uncomfortable?"

"Actually, no. It's just... no one ever said that to me. So… thank you, Edward. You bring out a part of me that I didn't know I had."

Just as I'm about to speak, our desserts are being laid in front of us. Bella tucks into hers without wasting a second. As soon as the first spoon touches her lips, she lets out a throaty moan that almost has me choking on my dessert. Seriously? Is she trying to kill me here? One look at her face and I have my answer: Bella has no idea of what she's doing to me. And that just turns me on even more. _Get a grip, Masen!_

"Edward, are you all right?"

I look up into her bottomless pools of blue and try to get my arousal under control.

"Don't you like it?" She asks with a frown. Her concerned voice washes over me like a soothing balm.

_Oh, I like it! Though I don't think we're talking about the same thing, Bella. _

"No, I like it. It's really good." I say with my most serious voice and cross my fingers so that she drops the subject. I should have known it wasn't in the cards.

"Okay then. What's with the face? You look like you're in pain."

Actually, I am in pain. Well, _almost._

"I'm fine. Nothing hurts. I was just um... thinking that I don't want this night to end."

"Really?"

_Really. _

"Yes."

"I'm glad to hear I'm not a boring company." Bella says with a wink and I'm left staring at her as she resumes eating her dessert.

_Best. Date. Ever!_

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**AN: Soooo, they didn't kiss. Disappointed? Don't worry, this is just the beginning. They have plenty of time for that in the future ;)**

**Did you figure out what I was talking about in the AN at the top? What is Edward keeping locked up in ****_his_**** closet? **

**See you Tuesday!**

**\- Violet**


	23. Ch 23 - The beginning

**AN: Hello, everyone!**

**Sorry I didn't update yesterday but my Mom and I had a few things to do. I'll be leaving tomorrow so we had a few things to take care of before I go back to my own home :)**

**I'd also like to reply to my Guest since I can't do it any other way: **I'm sorry to read that after 6 chapters, you think the main plot is _"... Virgin Bella waiting for Edward to come along and deflower her and to teach her how to be a woman."_ Maybe I'm not doing my _job_ right since that is _not_ what I had in mind when it came down to Bella's character and what she stands up for. The fact that she is a virgin has nothing to do with waiting for Edward and everything to do with the fact that she is not a social person and has difficulty connecting with those around her (read about her opinion on her classmates in **chapter 6**). Thank you for sharing your opinion, though :)

**And last, but not least, thank you all for your comments, for following this story and sharing your opinions with me. It really means a lot to me :)**

**Enjoy!**

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_"Soul mates. I don't know how it is you are so familiar to me – or why it feels less like I am getting to know you and more as though I am remembering who you are. How every smile, every whisper brings me closer to the impossible conclusion that I have known you before, I have loved you before – in another time, a different place – some other existence."_

_– Lang Leav_

BPOV

"Why did you kiss me, Edward?"

My question made his head snap up and his burning gaze pinned me to him as I waited for an answer.

I had been thinking about that kiss ever since it ended and I found myself no longer in his arms. I knew my mind was using it as a distraction from all the things that I had been going through during the last couple of weeks but my heart had also joined the party. It was no longer a battle of hormones, of attraction or even lust. It was more than that.

For starters, Edward was the person who was supposed to protect me until things would settle down and I could dare to hope for a more normal life. Granted, I was also aware that my days in the shadows were over, especially since I would always have to watch my back until the day I die. _Not a pretty picture, trust me. _

The cynical part of me was also telling me that falling for someone who was nothing more than an unknown factor was a bad idea. I agreed wholeheartedly. And I planned to change that. Starting with this question that seemed to make Edward very nervous. _Then again, he didn't seem nervous when he kissed you._ My mind replied bitterly.

"I thought I made my intentions clear. I like you, Bella." He replied softly, so softly that if I had sat further away from him, I would have missed his answer.

"So... you kissed me and invited me out for dinner because you like me." I replied, waiting for him to confirm that I had understood him right.

"Yes. Isn't that what normal people do?" He replied with a chuckle but I didn't follow.

His question was innocent. So was his voice. However, my walls were up in a matter of seconds. I didn't want to pretend. I didn't want to lie to myself and keep my head in the clouds. I could have done that but where would that leave me? I would only be building a new life on a foundation filled with lies. _Sound familiar, Isabella?_ My mind taunted me with a sickly sweet voice that was meant to be anything but sweet. I needed the truth. _And what better way to get it than to go straight to the source?_

"I wouldn't know. Do you think of me as a normal person? With my background? And how about you? Do you consider yourself to be normal?" I asked, an edge to my voice that whipped Edward's smile from his lips.

I was being mean, taunting him with ugly words that implied more than just a reality check. Don't ask me why because I wouldn't have an answer. My conversation with Carlisle probably had to do with my current mood so if there was anyone to blame for the direction our conversation took, I would start pointing fingers in his direction then start asking questions.

Edward, on the other hand, was shocked by my outburst. If I were honest, I shocked myself, too.

"You're right. There's no need to pretend, to act like either of us is leading a life that fits the pattern that our society has set up. But is that a bad thing? You have full reign over your destiny, Isabella. If you think that going out to have dinner with me would force your hand, then simply say _no._ I thought our dinner was going smoothly and that you were having a great time. I thought you _wanted_ to go out."

Edward finished his speech with a frown and his hands ended up in his hair, messing it up more than usual. It made me think of those brief moments when I touched his hair and felt the silky tresses underneath my fingertips.

"You didn't pressure me into anything, Edward. Dinner was lovely, so was the company." I said with a smile and he seemed to release a deep breath. "However, dating is not my _forte_. During my undergrad, I've only went out three times with the same guy and the only thing he wanted was to get in my pants." I said with a chuckle as I remembered Peter and my so-called _relationship_ with him. As soon as I made eye contact with Edward, I found him gazing at me strangely. His look made me feel self-conscious. "What?"

"You're serious? You only went out on three dates? With the same guy?"

"Yes. Your father seemed to know everything that there was to know about me. I assumed you also knew." I replied with a frown. It seemed weird that he would agree to watch over me but not find out beforehand what he was getting himself into. It was a rookie move. So _unlike_ Edward.

"Oh… actually, I did a little bit of research but I didn't… your personal life is… personal." He replied and looked everywhere except at me. _He's nervous. _

I laughed, unable to control the sudden outburst.

"Well, you told me about Jane, I'm telling you about Peter. Seems fair, don't you agree?" I said as soon as I was able to get my giggles under control.

"Well… I shouldn't waste the opportunity then. Why only three dates? Weren't you… close?"

"Not really. I was a bookworm, Edward. Both in high school and during my undergrad. My grades and GPA have always been my top priority. I didn't have time for nonsense such as a boyfriend who would eventually understand that he would never occupy the first place in my life.

"Peter was a nice guy but it's college we're talking about here. You rarely find someone who's looking for a stable relationship. It's like you go to a bar where you know for a fact that people go to get wasted and expect to find someone sober who wants to talk about books and politics. You see all these movies and whatever where girls go to bars and clubs and expect to find Prince Charming ready to buy them a drink."

"That's…" Edward started to say something but couldn't find the words. I waited for a few more seconds before I stepped back in.

"Harsh?"

He nodded.

"Maybe. Alice keeps telling me that I lack social skills. Maybe she's right. It's just… when you go to a school where everybody knows everybody and there is no such thing as privacy and you hear guys talking about who took who's virginity and making all these rude comments about the girls, it kind of puts you off sex. I didn't want to hear gossip and whatever from the guy that I thought would keep it to himself, you know? So I just… kept to myself.

"Then college came and I took so many courses so I could finish early and move on. A boyfriend would have only been another person that would have wanted my time and I never had enough time. Then I met Peter and thought… why not? It wasn't like I was waiting to be a virgin until my wedding night. I just… I guess I just wanted a _connection_. And I kept searching for that even though my first date with Peter was a total bust. He kept trying to get me drunk with cheap wine and then asked me if we could split the bill. It was awful. "

By the time I had finished telling him about my first date, he was laughing so hard I thought he would faint. _And there goes my mind-mouth filter again!_ I took a huge gulp out of my water and waited for him to regain his composure. It took a minute.

"I'm sorry. That was rude of me. In my defense, it really was terrible. And you went out with him not once but _twice_?"

"Glutton for punishment, I know. I just… wanted to be normal, I guess. Alice kept pushing me to go out more and Peter was always pestering me and trying to get me to parties and all that crap. Of course, it didn't work. On our third date, I just got up and gave him the famous line '_It's not you, it's me._' and prayed that I would never have to go through another date with him. Needless to say, my wish came true. And campus was big enough for the both of us, thank God!" I chuckled and Edward joined me.

A few moments passed as we both took a few sips of our drinks.

"So, was that awkward enough or do you still think you get the cake?"

"You're a tough competitor."

"So I've been told." I replied with a smirk. "Then again, I've been told many things and some of them weren't true so yeah…" I shrugged as I tried to get rid of the memories that always put a cloud over my head and mood. I wanted to enjoy my time with him and try to find out more about Edward Masen, attorney extraordinaire.

"By the way, I meant to ask you this for quite some time and I always forget. Alice said that you were adopted at the age of ten but, unlike your brother, Jasper, you didn't change your last name. Why is that?"

We were waiting for our waitress, Jessica, to bring us the check and, apparently, that was a very hard thing to do since more than five minutes had passed and she still hadn't showed up with the damn thing!

And Edward hadn't answered my question. _Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut…_ I thought to myself.

"It's a long story and it's not really pleasant. I'd rather not ruin our evening." Edward answered with a tight lipped smile that made me frown in return.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" I said, throwing back his earlier words that he spoke in the hallway in hopes that he would open up and tell me.

"It's not the same thing." Edward replied as a flash of anger appeared for a few seconds before disappearing just as fast.

"Hey, relax! It was just a question." I said, trying to back paddle and not ruin whatever was left of our dinner.

He shook his head as if he was trying to get rid of the thoughts inside his head and gave me a sad smile. "I'm not being fair here, Bella. I know all there is to know about you so how about you ask me anything except my family? You already know the only people I consider to be my family but I'm not ready to talk about my birth mother and... father." He spit the word _father _as if it was something vile on his tongue. _Okayyy… _

I watched his face and body language like a hawk. Something was bothering him and it wasn't a simple thing. I could tell from the frown on his face and the way his face muscles contorted that the topic at hand wasn't a nice one and he was doing his best to keep his emotions at bay. I knew that face. I had been staring at the exact face ever since my parents had been killed. It was the face of someone suffering but who fought hard to keep that suffering under lock and key.

"Here is your check."

Our waitress's voice broke me out from my dark thoughts and I jumped a little in my seat. The lingering feeling was still there, taunting me. I kept thinking about my earlier assumptions, when I assumed there wasn't anything that could ever disturb Edward Masen.

Turned out, I had been wrong. _Very wrong._

Edward paid the check and soon after, we left the nice restaurant. A heavy silence had settled over us as we made our way back to the car, through the busy street, both of us lost in our own thoughts. I wanted to do some damage control, to say a joke and lighten things up again but I couldn't think of anything to say.

The dinner had been lovely and I had a hunch it was due to the fact that I had no expectation whatsoever. It seemed weird for me not to have a plan or an expectation or… anything really. It was so unlike me and yet… it felt good to just _be_.

I really enjoyed Edward's company, his jokes and stories about work and people that he considers to be his friends even though I kept comparing my life with his. I knew that I could not have the same life as him, mostly because he was older and more experienced than me but that wasn't the only difference. I realized that Edward had friends. Not many but still... more than me. Some of them dated back to college, some of them even beyond that. I thought back to my own list of friends and I only had Alice on that. That knowledge left me… sad, somehow.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Edward whispered and I snapped out of my thoughts and realized he was much closer than I thought. I suppressed a shiver as his warm breath hit the cold patch of skin on my neck and turned to stare into his eyes.

"I was comparing us."

He frowned. "What exactly is there to compare?"

"You have more friends than I do." I said and looked away from his intense gaze.

"Oh... don't worry. You'll make lots of friends in Law school. As a matter of fact, during my undergrad, I hardly knew anyone."

It was my turn to frown as I thought about my decision to take a year off even though I had already been accepted at University of Chicago. A few days ago, it seemed the best decision when I considered my emotional health but it wasn't in my nature to just… sit and twiddle my thumbs. Especially after I've worked so hard to get where I was. _Decisions, decisions._

"Isabella?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and found myself in Edward's car. His body was turned in my direction and he had a weird look that made my skin tingle.

"Yes?"

"Is everything OK?"

"Yeah… I was just thinking…" I replied with a small smile that didn't reach my eyes.

Edward noticed.

"Come on, spit it out. What has you so concentrated that you didn't even register that we got to the car? What's bothering you?"

I wanted to snap at him and tell him to mind his own business but then I remembered I _was_ his business so I kept my mouth shut before I made a fool of myself.

I shrugged. "I don't think I'll be attending Law School this year."

His eyebrows shot up into his hairline. "Why not?"

"I'm just not… sure. With everything that's been going on, the last thing on my mind was school, honestly. Here I am, looking right and left in hopes that there isn't anyone following me and trying to kill me. School isn't that important."

Edward sighed.

"Bella, your security is _my _responsibility. You should focus on your future, on what you want to do. I know the saying '_Live like you'll die tomorrow.'_ is good to live by but there's always the other side of the coin: _learn as if you'll live forever_. You keep on learning while I make sure you'll have the chance to do that."

"It's not just that…" I replied and looked away from his burning gaze. He was too intense and the thoughts inside my head didn't make any sense when he was this close to me.

"Tell me. Please?"

I didn't need to look at him to know that he was genuinely interested in what I was thinking about. I could hear the pleading in his voice, his velvet words wrapping themselves around me like a snake I was unable to shake. The more I struggled, the tighter the embrace. _Damn him!_

"I don't want to be alone." I whispered, ashamed that I was admitting my weakness in front of a man who many believed had no weakness. Then again, we were all human. _Everyone has a weakness, Isabella. Even Edward Masen. Remember your earlier question?_ My mind reminded me.

"You're never alone, Isabella Marie Swan." Edward said as he gripped my chin lightly and turned my face towards him. His emerald eyes were burning with such intensity that I almost lost my breath. "I'll always be close to you. Nothing in this damned world could keep my away." He whispered as his eyes focused on my lips.

I blinked and he took advantage of that, crushing his lips to mine. _If you keep this up, Edward Masen, I won't _allow _you to stay away even if you'd want to._

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**AN: What do you think? Like it? Hate it? As always, I'm dying to find out so let me know!  
**


	24. Ch 24 - The purpose

**AN: Hello, everyone!**

**Sorry I couldn't make yesterday's deadline but this chapter really kicked my ass. Honest! It was like pulling teeth!The thing is, I already have the story outlined and have a more than general idea how I want this story to play itself out but the chapters are giving me headaches! I really need a beta, guys!**

**Anyway...**

**Mary, thank you so much for all your reviews! It was so interesting to read each one of your reviews as you read the chapters. I kept smiling and picturing your reaction when your saw that some of your assumptions were correct and some weren't. It was like reading my story through your eyes and it was **amazing**! Thank you!**

**And I would also like to thank the rest of my readers who make my day with their reviews, follows, faves and all that! I enjoy the fact that you're enjoying this! _D__oes that make sense? Oh well... :D_**

**My b'day is coming up this Saturday and I'd really like to post two chapters before that BUT, at this point, if I manage ONE chapter, I'll be thrilled! My spare time is... non-existent these days but I promise you I'll do my best to post on schedule! :)**

**Thank you for reading and... enjoy!**

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_"Here is a test to find out whether your mission in life is complete. If you're alive, it isn't."  
― __Lauren Bacall_

BPOV

They say that each person has a purpose in life. That we all life to fulfill some kind of prophecy, that our lives are, somehow, interconnected and each one of our gestures, each one of our words, will have ripples that will reach someone else. We like to think that all our actions will have a positive effect on those who will be affected by our own actions. We are lying to ourselves.

But what do you do when you feel disconnected? When no one can reach you even though they try? What is one supposed to do when they don't feel like they belong anywhere? When you're so far away from everything you thought was a part of you and you have no wish to ever get close to anything again? What do you do when you don't feel like you have a purpose? And what do you do when you can't reach _yourself_?

You shut down. At least, that's what I chose to do. _Self-control is golden, Isabella._ My mind reminded me with a stern look. As if I cared.

All night, nightmares plagued my sleep, keeping me awake or waking me up in a cold sweat. It was as if my dinner with Edward and a glimpse into my possible future had brought back the past that I tried so desperately to burry. All night, I had dreamt of murders and murderers, of lies and deceit, of money and drugs. The weird thing was that I was present but no one else in my dream could see me. And I wasn't alone. No, I wasn't the only one watching. Edward was also there. Watching, plotting, waiting… and so was I. It was like an outer body experience, watching everything with a detachment that was foreign to every cell in my body. My body wanted everything to stop. My mind wanted to know what would happen next.

I woke up to the sound of someone writing a text message. The annoying sound was like that Chinese drop of water that ends up driving you up the damn walls. It was starting the drive me mad and I hadn't even opened my eyes. Someone is going to die if that sound doesn't go away in 3, 2, 1… _Seriously?_

The covers were thrown off me like they were on fire as I turned and glared at the person of my left only to be met with Alice's icy blue eyes. _Of course! Alice, the bane of my sleep!_

"Seriously, Alice?!" I growled and proceed to put the pillow over my head like a petulant child.

"Oh, get over yourself. It's past 9 AM. I've already had breakfast with Esme and I'm going to head out for a little while to do some shopping since, apparently Edward's birthday is fast approaching and I have nothing to wear! Not to mention the fact that I have absolutely no _idea_ what to get him. Do you think I should buy him a Mont Blanc? Does he have one already? With the money the Cullens seem to roll around, I wouldn't be surprised if he already has ten of those!"

She kept on rambling as I tried to block her out and get some decent sleep since I had been tossing and turning all night and woke up even more tired than when I went to bed.

"Couldn't you leave a note or something? I really am tired, Alice. I barely slept last night." I mumbled in my pillow. This conversation was killing my sleep and my brain cells. Edward's birthday was at least three weeks away and Alice was already climbing up the damn walls. _Seriously?_

"Oh… sorry." Alice said and gave me an impish smile. I only glared back. "Did Edward keep you up long?" She finished her question with a wiggle of her eyebrows that made me raise an eyebrow. _Did she seriously ask me that?_

"No. We were back by 10 PM. And before you ask, yes, it was a nice dinner. We talked, laughed, ate and got to know each other better. Any other questions before I kick you out and resume my fitful sleep?"

"Did he kiss you?"

I gave her a _duh_ look and she squeaked. "Tell me everything."

"Alice, I'm sure you've been kissed before. Do you need me to go through the usual steps with you?" I asked, a sarcastic bite to the tone of my voice.

She scoffed at me as her lips settled in a small smile. "I think we both know I have more experience than you on that but this is more than just going out with some random dude. We're talking about Edward, the only guy that's managed to catch your attention in… _forever_!"

"I have dated Peter or did you forget?" I pointed out even though it probably would have been better to keep my mouth shut.

"Peter doesn't count. You only went out with him because he was different and you thought you could try to get yourself to act differently. And that's why I never thought you and him could be anything more than just... acquaintances. Edward, on the other hand, is in a whole different category. He's not some college guy who wants to split the check with him. He _actually _wants to get to know you."

She was right. But this wasn't about the date. It was about the way my body reacted when I was around him. It was singing with the need to be around him. All week I had been tense and on edge. Partly because everything I had gone through and partly because I didn't have Edward's presence to soothe me. While it was true that I hadn't spent too much time in his vicinity, every time he was near, I could almost feel myself breathe easier. And who in their right minds would walk away from that?

"Bella?"

"Yeah." I replied, weary of whatever she would say next. Alice had a habit of attacking when I had my guard down. She knew exactly what to say to get me to agree to some pretty crazy ideas once she caught me unaware.

"I love you." She said with a small smile and a tear in her eye.

"Oh, Alice! I love you too. What's wrong?" I said as I untangled myself from the sheets and hugged her.

"Nothing." She replied with a teary smile. "I'm just happy for you. When I saw you at the hospital, hooked up to that IV… I thought I would lose you, Bella. You've always been a fighter and… seeing you like that, like you had given up on hope and had nothing to look forward to… it was scary. Really scary. You're my best friend in the whole world and even though I'm a handful and boss you around, you mean the world to me, Bella."

Her words brought tears to my eyes and all thoughts of sleep were long forgotten for a few seconds before my body reminded me that I was way too exhausted to stay up.

"So, in light of all that, I just want you to know that I'm very happy for you."

"Thank you, Alice." I replied, sincerely

I closed my eyes and tried to get back to sleep so I wouldn't battle a headache for the rest of the day.

"Oh, and I want to be your maid of honor!"

Alice's voice broke through my hazy brain. I was _this_ close to falling asleep!

"Alice!" I shouted in my pillow, seconds away from strangling her, in spite of all my love for her.

"Okay, okay. I'm going! Sheesh…" she mumbled and closed the door to my room with a soft _click._

_Thank God!_

I woke up a bit more refreshed and one look at my phone told me that I had only slept for two more hours. I stretched and enjoyed the feeling of my muscles pulling and tensing, releasing the last remains of my sleep from my body. The shower felt great, washing away the remains of my monsters from my head, until we would meet again in the land of my dreams. The hot water warmed my skin and bones, erasing the tension from my body like a sponge. It felt _so_ good.

I put on a pair of mint colored pants, a white V neck cotton blouse, some socks and slipped into some strawberry patterned slip-ons that brought a little cheer to my outfit. God knows I needed it with all the dark things my mind had been busy conjuring. _But there's no escaping your own mind, Isabella. You should know this by now._ My mind reminded me, her voice eerily similar to my mother's that made my skin crawl.

I suppressed a shiver, made my bed and tidied a little bit. I hated clutter and things lying around. And speaking of clutter, I needed to do some cleaning and some laundry. Even though I knew there was someone who was supposed to clean my room, I didn't want to add to anyone's list of chores. I went downstairs and tried to find Carmen so I could ask her where the cleaning supplies were kept.

Carmen popped up in my way as I entered the kitchen and smiled wide. I smiled back and asked her in Spanish if she knew where the cleaning supplies were kept since she was the cook and not the maid. She looked at me strange for a few moments before she turned around and left the kitchen without an answer.

I struggled to keep up with her pace as she went in the back yard where Esme Cullen was reading under the shade of an umbrella, looking like a 50s glamour diva with her dark shades and her red lipstick on. But I wasn't fast enough and I only caught the last part of their conversation as Carmen was saying, in _English_, that I wanted to clean my room myself.

"Isabella, it's so nice to see you. Have you slept well?" Esme asked with a brilliant smile and a warm demeanor. She was a vision in her white dress. _Like a real Snow White._

"Actually, I haven't." I replied with a strained smile and watched as her smile turned into a frown. "But it's nothing to worry about." I added with a little bit more cheer into my voice and hoped Esme wouldn't be offended by my words. I glanced at Carmen in hopes of catching her eye but she was looking anywhere but at me.

"Oh… why is that?" Esme asked me and I turned my attention back at her.

"Nightmares." I replied curtly and didn't elaborate on that topic. "I wanted to clean my room and bathroom but I couldn't find any cleaning supplies in the bathroom."

"Well, there's no need to keep any in the rooms since we have a cleaning crew that comes by every Saturday to clean up the entire house. We only keep cleaning supplies for the kitchen where Carmen doesn't allow anyone to _meddle_. How about we have brunch and Eleazar can call the cleaning crew now that you're awake?"

"Um… I'd really hate to impose…" I started to say but Esme cut me off with a single look.

"Nonsense. I could use a few snacks and you need to eat. You look like you don't even weigh 110 lbs." _Actually, I don't. _ I added silently. "We need to put some meat on those bones. How about a re-do of last Saturday's brunch?"

Esme was so nice and happy that I couldn't find it within myself to disagree with her.

"Sure. Why not?" I replied with a smile and earned one back.

Carmen didn't need to be told anything else and quickly retired, leaving me alone with Esme.

"Have a seat. Carmen will bring us something to nibble on." Esme said as she resumed her seat.

I took a seat on the plush chair under the white umbrella and looked longingly towards the pool. It was the beginning the June and the weather was surprisingly warm, perfect for a swim. However, I was only a guest in this house and I didn't want to overstep my boundaries.

"Do you swim?" Esme's voice cut through my thoughts and brought me back to the present.

"Yes. My dad… he taught me." I replied with a smile as I thought back to the time when my dad was still alive and I looked at him like he hung the moon. _Oh, how the times have changed! _ I thought bitterly as I tore by eyes away from the pool and my mind away from the memories that I once held dear. It would do me no good to keep thinking about all the things I thought to be true and were proven to be nothing more than a lie.

"You should swim, then. The pool is hardly ever used now that Emmett and Edward have left the house. It used to be so loud in the summertime when they were small. I had a hard time keeping them away from the water more than a few hours so they could eat and avoid the harsh sun during lunchtime and early afternoon. I remember running after them with waterproof sunscreen so they wouldn't get burns. It's strange now that the house is so quiet and they have their own places."

Esme's voice had softened at the end of her story as melancholy made its way into her mind. She had a faraway look, probably revisiting memories of her children as they grew up into the accomplished men they were today. _Did my mom think of me like that?_ I asked myself as I tried to push away the memories that threatened to break out of their cage.

"Anyway, a little bird told me that you and Edward went out last night."

_Of course she did._

"Yes, we did." I replied, suddenly shy due to the sudden change of topic.

"Did you have fun?" Esme asked with an excited demeanor.

"Yes, it was nice."

"I'm glad. You both needed some time off from everything."

I smiled and nodded but didn't say anything. Truth was, I had too much free time on my hands so more time off could prove to have the exact opposite effect that Esme thought it would have. All the while, Esme kept looking at me as she waited for a reply that would, most likely, never come.

"You disagree." She stated matter-of-factly.

"I have enough spare time to drive me up the walls." I said as I rubbed my temples. The sunshine was giving me a headache. "More time off means more time to _think…_"

"Oh… what did you normally do when you had free time?"

I shrugged. "I cooked, cleaned, studied… that sort of thing."

"And now that you aren't doing any of those things, you feel like you lack a purpose."

I nodded. "It kept me busy. _Idle hands_ and all that."

"I see. Well, in that case, I have a proposition for you. I would like to offer you a job at Evanson &amp; Platt as a paralegal. The one we has quit since she'll be attending Law School in the fall and wanted to take some time off before the semester started. What do you say?"

I was shocked.

"Um… you haven't seen my resume."

Yes, it was the only thing I could come up with on such short notice. Stupid, I know.

"Oh, Isabella, that's not an issue." She replied with a flick of her wrist. "I've seen your resume as soon as Carlisle had your information. My family's security is not only Carlisle's top priority but, unlike my husband, I already consider you a part of my family. And trust me when I say that you couldn't have had a better ally on your side. So, do you accept my offer?"

_Who in their right mind would ever say _no_?_ I thought to myself as I continued to stare wide eyed at Esme. In the back of my mind, I was aware that I should have said something but the information that she just revealed with an unaffected voice and a calm demeanor had me going round in circles.

"Isabella?"

"I… um… I'm sorry… I…"

"You're a bit shocked, aren't you?"

"That's one way of putting it…"

Esme laughed. A real laugh that started at the bottom of her soul and came bubbling out like wind chimes swaying in the soft breeze. To say I was captivated would have been the understatement of the year. She was the epitome of elegance, grace and the list could go on and on. I observed her, trying to save this moment in my brain and never let it go. Esme Cullen was a sight to behold, there was no doubt in my mind about that. It made me wonder what was she like when she was provoked, when she was taunted enough to fight back and put her opponent in their own corner, licking their wounds.

One thing was sure: Esme Cullen would always come up on top.

And that right there was exactly what I needed to learn if I wanted to survive in this world of lies and deceit, of fake smiles and hidden knives. A world that, for all intents and purposes, could have a bullet with my name on it. And I had to get an armour if I wanted to survive, not a human shield.

"I wouldn't have offered you this position if I would have thought you wouldn't do a very good job. As an added bonus, you are trustworthy and I am convinced that you will do everything and beyond to make sure I won't regret my decision. Am I right, Isabella?"

"Yes."

"Do you accept?"

"Yes."

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**AN: What are your opinions on this chapter? Don't be afraid to let me know ;)**

**PS: should Bella meet Jane in the next chapter? :D**


	25. Ch 25 - The dinner

**AN: Hello, everyone! Miss me? Because I missed you!  
**

**Sorry for the long wait for this chapter but real life has been really busy. My friend Jess and her longtime boyfriend Paul have _finally_ tied the knot and it was crazy around here, ladies and gentlemen!**

**To make up for lost time, this chapter is _extra_ long.**

**Hope you enjoy it!**

**As always, I'd love to know what you think of this!**

**Hugs!**

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_"When everything goes to hell, the people who stand by you without flinching - they are your family."  
― __Jim Butcher_

BPOV

I was twelve when my mother insisted on a Sunday dinner. According to her, my dad was spending less and less time with his family and things needed to change before it was too late. I really didn't see her point of view since I was under the impression that my dad was just doing his part at protecting those around me. How could I be selfish and demand for more time with him when he could use that time to help someone who needed him more? It just didn't make sense but I kept my thoughts to myself.

My mom always had this ability to draw people to her, to get toddlers to like her and stop crying for their parents, to get dad to pay attention to the little things in their relationship, to get me to do things I wouldn't have normally done. For example, my mother got me to attend a ballet class when I was ten because I was having problems with my balance and she'd had enough of our trips to Forks General. Granted, her plans worked and my balance had improved tremendously but it didn't stop my whining at the time.

Just like me, my dad wasn't really keen on spending Sunday evening with the two of us when he could spend some off time with his deputies. I remember my mom saying that his deputy and close friend, Mark Newman, never spent so much time down at the station the way my dad did. As anticipated, my dad also gave into my mom's wishes and we started having every Sunday a quiet dinner where we talked, joked and laughed. It soon became my favorite day of the week, surpassing even Friday night when my mom used to take me and my friends to the movies.

Looking back, I couldn't help but wonder if my father spent all that time on the job or at other places that paid better than his official job. Had my father been involved with the Mod ever since I was in my early teens? Had I been that blind? As per usual, I couldn't find any answers to my questions. I wished I had paid more attention to whatever was going on in my family. The family that I took for granted. The family which was now gone.

I sighed, unaware that both Carmen and Esme were watching me.

"Isabella, I think the carrots are chopped to perfection. Don't you agree, Carmen?" Esme said with a gentle voice as if she knew what I had been thinking about for the past few minutes. Carmen smiled but it was also a sad tint to it.

"Sorry." I whispered and slid the chopped carrots from the chopping board in the near-by bowl. Get a grip, Isabella! My mind screamed at me but it wasn't really helping. I was still stuck in the land of memories, aware that I would never get the chance to make new memories with my parents in them.

"So... what are we making? This seems like a lot of food." I said as I thought about last Sunday and all the preparation that dinner required.

"I have no idea what we're making since Carmen won't tell me." Esme replied and laughed and, soon enough, we all joined in and released some of the tension in the air. It took a few minutes before we were able to get our giggles under control. "Carmen owns this show and everything that goes on in here is under strict supervision. I try to help because I love spending time here with Carmen but anything other than chopping vegetables and stirring pots is a lost cause for me."

What could I have said to that? I settled for a smile and a small nod of my head and focused back on my task, expertly avoiding my fingers from meeting the cold blade of the knife.

"You're very good at that." Esme noted and I nodded.

I _was_ good. Everything I did had to be perfect, I had to make sure everything always went according to plan. It always had to be a plan, a list or a goal that kept me on the straight and narrow. _What's left to keep you that way, Isabella?_ My mind asked me, her taunting voice filling my mind to the point of overwhelming any other sound that had to reach my brain. I hated these moments, when my mind would remind me of everything that lied buried in my past.

"Thank you. So… who's joining tonight's dinner? We are chopping an awful lot of vegetables."

"Since you've so gracefully accepted my proposition, I thought we should celebrate and also give you an opportunity to meet a few people you will come in contact with during your stay at the firm. The plan is to introduce you as a family friend and announce your new position. We will have Felix, Caius's brother, by our side, as well as Heidi, his wife. Of course, Caius will also be present. I've already told him of my decision and he supports you. I expect Caius to put up a weak fight for the show, since he can't really do anything other than accept what I present him with. I own 60% of Evanson and Platt so all this _conversation_ we will have with Caius will be… for appearances purposes only."

I was stunned. Yeah, that was the word: stunned. My earlier assumptions that Esme was more than just a pretty face were on target. You didn't mess with this woman unless you had a _very_ good back-up plan. And I had no intention of ever needing a plan B when it came to Esme Cullen.

"How about we go and get ready for dinner while Carmen puts her magic to work here?" Esme says and I nod my approval even though I know it wasn't a question. More like a request. "I'm sure Edward would like to see you _before_ the Evanson's arrive." Thoughts of Edward and our date sprung into my head. I brushed them aside and made my way to my room where Alice was already raiding my closet. I could be staying at the same table with his ex. I had a feeling I would be needing some reinforcements if I was to survive this dinner.

"Fancy or low-key?" she asked while she still had her nose deep in clothes and all kinds of fabrics.

"I was thinking more like…_ bad-ass_." I answered and Alice immediately straightened herself and looked me over in shock.

"Who are you and what have you done to Bella?" Alice asked with a smirk and I rolled my eyes at her. Trust Alice to state the obvious. My fashion sense was… demure. I never wanted to be the center of attention but tonight's dinner was going to be about me and no one else. _This is going to be interesting._ I thought to myself as I sat on the bed and waited for Alice to come out with my _costume_ for the night.

"How about this knitted burgundy sweater that will make your eyes pop and also has a black collar like you're wearing a shirt underneath, a bell-like black skirt, black thighs and… black pumps or black suede wedge booties?" Alice asked while holding in both hands two pairs of shoes.

"Wedge booties." I replied, pointing towards her right hand.

"Great! Demure with a bad-ass edge it is, then! My work here is done. Do whatever you want with your hair."

And she was gone. Like a tornado, leaving me to fend for myself. _Okay… _

Almost an hour later, I was ready to face Caius Evanson &amp; Co. with as much courage as I could summon on such short notice. I've decided to tease my hair a little and then pulled it into a high ponytail. As much as I would have wanted to let my hair down and use it as a curtain, it would have been a sign of weakness. My make-up was minimal, as per usual: black mascara and some tinted lip balm and my studded diamond earrings that I got as a present from my parents when I turned 20 completed my look.

I didn't want to look like someone I wasn't or pretend to be someone who I had no interest to be. The message that I wanted to give was that I was no little mouse, though I didn't crave attention either.

* * *

The dining room was empty by the time I reached it. I frowned. Where was everyone? Was I that early? I didn't think so. I checked my watch and saw that it was barely 6 pm. _Okaaayy…_ I turned around, ready to go look somewhere else in this huge house but came face to face with Carmen.

"Carmen, just who I was looking for." I said with a smile. "I wanted to help you set up. Where do I begin?" I asked with a grin and a friendly demeanor. At least, that's what I was aiming for.

She frowned and shook her head.

"Mrs. Cullen told me to put everything in the formal dining room. There isn't enough space here for twelve people, Miss Swan." _And there we go with Miss Swan this, Miss Swan that…_ it was starting to get on my nerves.

"Oh… okay. So, where is this formal dining room?"

"Eleazar shall come and collect you when everything is ready." Carmen said with a dismissive tone.

"Carmen, please! I would _love_ to help out."

"There is no need. We have everything covered."

"Of course you do." I mumbled with a sour look on my face. Carmen smirked in response. I rolled my eyes, wishing I could pull off that puppy dog look that Alice used when she wanted to get her way. Needless to say, it worked like a charm on me each and every single time. Where's Alice when you need her? _Probably getting ready._

"Please, Carmen. I hate sitting around and doing nothing. Dinner is served at 7 pm. I'll climb up the damn walls if I don't do something for an entire hour. Please!" I begged and pleaded with her until her huff of annoyance told me I was making her consider my option.

"Fine. You can set the table. I don't trust you with food while you're wearing those death traps." Carmen said as she pointed towards my wedges. I looked down and frowned. _This_ was nothing!

"Please! If _this_ is what you call death traps, you should have seen what Alice made me wear as 'training shoes'. I could have broken my neck if I fell while wearing those things. It was the fear of dying that made me learn to walk with sky-high shoes." I said with a wave of my hand as if it was a walk in the park. Carmen bit her lower lip to keep from outright laughing in my face. _Yeah, yeah… laugh it up! As long as I have something to do and not think about tomorrow, I'm willing to do _anything. "So, where is the china and the cutlery?"

"Eleazar will bring everything to you. You just set it up and let me know when you're finished."

"Great! Thank you, Carmen." I smiled and gave her a bright smile, earning one back.

Ever since I heard Carmen speak English yesterday, she had been avoiding me like the plague. Eventually, I'd had enough and cornered her in the kitchen. Of course, the first step was denial but once I gave her my speech about her not having to answer to me, she seemed to relax and stopped leaving the room if I happened to enter it. Clearing the air of all the awkward smiles and stolen glances with the corner of our eyes felt like an accomplishment.

"There you are!"

Edward's voice broke me out of my thoughts and I ducked my head on instinct. I hadn't seen him in the house so I had assumed that he had yet to arrive. Turned out, I was wrong.

"Hi." I said shyly looking at him with the corner of my eye. He was dressed in tight black jeans, white linen shirt with the top buttons undone and a pinstriped jacket. He looked good enough for dessert. _Get a grip, Isabella._ My mind snapped back at me, effectively ending my daydream.

"Hi." He replied and took the last remaining steps, his body heat putting me at ease in the fraction of a second. _This man brings a whole new meaning to addiction._ I thought to myself as I closed my eyes and basked in the feeling of having him close. _And you're enjoying every minute of it, don't deny it._ My mind replied without missing a beat. Can't say she wasn't right.

"I'm almost done here. Two more minutes." I whispered as I looked around to see what else needed to be arranged.

"I don't care." Edward whispered and spun me around to face him. His cologne had me swooning. He traced my jaw until his hand cupped my head and his lips descended on mine. It was a slow kiss, filled with sweetness and, in no time, I was having a hard time staying upright. His other hand made its way to the small of my back, bringing me closer to him and the evidence of his arousal. _Damn!_ I had to stop this before I ended up losing my virginity on the dining room table. I lightly pushed at his chest and he got the message and let go, albeit reluctantly.

As I was tracing my lips to make sure my tinted balm wasn't smeared around the edges, Edward watched me with dilated pupils. _A hungry look. _I almost whimpered but I reigned that in. Now was not the time, no matter how much I wanted to distract myself.

"Your parents will take one look at us and know _exactly_ what went down in here. Not to mention that Eleazar could have walked in on us at any moment. Have you lost your mind?!" I whisper-yelled at him but only got a smirk in return. He really didn't give a shit. He was staking a claim. _If this is what he does in private, I wonder what he'll do in public. _ I suppressed a shiver and threw one last look at the dining table. _It's as good as it can look with Edward distracting me._

"Bella, we are in my parent's house. I'm sure they saw that kiss in the hallway, the one at the bottom of the stairs when I dropped you off and everything in between. This will _not_ surprise them. Trust me."

All color drained from my face. I was so embarrassed.

"All the more reason to keep your hands to yourself. I will not disrespect them like this, kissing you in every room, every chance I get."

"Bella, I've grown up with them kissing in every room and corner. Trust me, this is nothing. Please, stop worrying."

I nodded but made no move to kiss him again.

"You are lovely. I love this color on you. And those shoes." Edward said with a wink as Eleazar walked into the room, looking at us for a beat longer than usual. Edward felt his gaze and turned his attention towards him.

"Tell me, Eleazar, have you seen a more beautiful woman than Bella?" Edward said all of a sudden and I almost chocked on my own spit. He did_ not_ just ask Eleazar that. _Oh, he sure did, Isabella!_

Eleazar smirked. My jaw dropped to the floor.

"Mr. Masen, I am a married man. Do you want to get me in trouble with my wife?" Eleazar asked, humor obvious in his voice.

"You would only confirm her earlier words." Edward replied and winked at me.

"I agree with my wife, then." _Smart man!_

"Do you still need Bella's help? Felix and Heidi are here and I want to introduce them to Bella _before_ Caius and Jane come." Edward asked, an edge to his voice that I hadn't heard before.

I felt like the rug was pulled from beneath my legs. Jane was going to attend this dinner? Esme hadn't mentioned that! _B__ut you did suspect it_…_ didn't you, Isabella?_

"Miss Bella has exceeded expectations." Eleazar said with a kind smile in my direction. I had a feeling he was referring to more than just my help at setting the table.

"Good." Edward replied and turned his attention back to me. He held his hand out and I put mine in his, allowing him to guide me back to the living room where a couple was seated on the loveseat. The couple raised from their seat and smiled. The man was tall, almost as tall and bulky as Emmett, with short dark hair and blue eyes, and dressed into a nice fitting suit that emphasized his physique. The woman could have been Rosalie's sister. She reminded me of her, though they looked nothing alike – it was just that her beauty, too, was exceptional, unforgettable. I couldn't seem to look away. She was dressed to emphasize that beauty. Her mahogany hair was lustrous and her eyes were the strangest shade of violet. She wore a deep blue wrap dress, paired with dark heels. _She is a goddess._

"Bella, I'd like you to meet Felix Evanson, partner and co-owner of Evanson and Platt and his wife, Heidi Evanson." Edward said with his silky voice, calming down my nerves an inch.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Evanson, Mrs. Evanson." I said politely as I shook their hands with a firm grip.

"The pleasure is all ours. Esme won't stop talking about you. Now I see why." Heidi said with a smile on her lips and I got the feeling there was more to that statement than she let on.

"Trust Esme to find the brightest and most beautiful paralegal in Seattle." Felix said with a wink and I ducked my head at his compliment.

Heidi laughed and nudged Felix.

"Don't make her resign before she even sets foot in the building, dear. She wouldn't be the only one to resign."

Edward smirked. "Damn right!"

I didn't have the opportunity to say anything as Emmett and Rosalie stepped into the room. Rose was a vision in a burgundy dress that hugged her figure in all the right places. She came forward and hugged me tightly and kissed Edward's cheek, making sure not to leave any lipstick on. I smirked.

"Isabella, you look lovely." Emmett murmured as he kissed my cheek and went to his fiancé who already took a seat on one of the couches. I nodded and tried my best to keep my blush under control.

"Look who I found!" Alice bellowed, making all of us snap our necks in her direction. She was dragging Jasper by his arm with a wide smile on her face. I would have pitied Jasper if I didn't catch his shy smile. I had been right. Those two were two halves of the same whole. _It's only a matter of time before they see that, too._ I thought with a pleased smile on my lips as Alice shot me a look that said '_why haven't you introduced me to this perfection?'_. I shook my head and turned my attention back at the other two couples who were snickering.

After introductions were made and handshakes and kisses were shared, we all took seats on the available places. A few seconds later, Eleazar announced that Caius and Jane Evanson have also arrived. The temperature in the room dropped a few degrees and I was covered in goose bumps. _Well, it's now or never._ I thought grimly as I plastered a smile on my face and did my best to make it look genuine. Soon enough, Caius and her daughter made their way into the living room.

At first I thought it was a young boy. The newcomer was as tiny as Alice, with lank, pale brown hair trimmed short. But the face was too pretty for a boy. The wide-eyed, full lipped face would make a Botticelli angel look like a gargoyle. _So this is Edward's ex. _I thought as I took her in. She was dressed in a little black dress, looking the part of the daughter of a very influential man. Her glare was fixated on me and it made me raise my eyebrows in response.

"Miss Swan, what a pleasure!" Caius exclaimed and kissed the back of my hand as he slightly bowed.

He couldn't say much more because Jane stepped forward and held her hand towards me, probably deciding the spotlight had been enough on me. Edward tensed as she came closer.

"Jane Evanson." She said with a clipped voice and narrowed eyes.

"Nice to meet you, Miss Evanson. Isabella Swan." I replied with an even voice. _No need to cause a scene._

"Well, now that everyone has been introduced to everyone, let's all proceed to the dining room."

Esme's voice broke through the cold atmosphere and we all followed her and Carlisle to the dining room where Edward and I kissed only a few minutes before. I smirked.

"Are you OK?" Edward whispered in my ear and squeezed my waist lightly.

"Yes." I replied softly. It was the truth. I didn't expect a warm hug from the woman who wanted nothing more than to have him back.

Edward must have heard the sincerity in my voice because he nodded slightly and smiled.

Dinner was long and exhausting. Felix and Heidi seemed really nice and offered their assistance since I would have to go through a transition period to get accustomed to the firm and all its people. Caius and Jane, on the other hand, looked like they swallowed a really bitter fruit. I could tell they were _not_ as pleased by the recent developments. Unfortunately for them, they were in the minority and had to swallow that with as much pride as they could muster.

Once dessert had been served, Esme drew our attention and raised her glass for a toast. We followed suit.

"I think I speak in the name of everyone at this table when I say that Isabella is going to be a very important asset to the firm." She said with a mischievous glint in her eyes. "Welcome to Evanson and Platt, Isabella."

"Welcome to the family." Carlisle added with a genuine smile and I found myself smiling back at him. I glanced at Edward who was sitting on my left and found him smiling at me.

_Welcome to the family, indeed!_

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**AN: Soooo... what do you think? Let me know in a review!  
**

**See you on Wednesday!  
**

**\- Violet**


	26. Ch 26 - The unknown

**AN: Hello, everyone!  
**

**As promised, this is the chapter you've been waiting for! Bella finally steps into the fascinating life of Edward Cullen. Okay, maybe not that fascinating... yet! But, let's just say that things are about to get more interesting from now on *wink wink*.**

**Bella meets Mike and Kate. How will they react to each other? How will the other people in the firm react to Bella? And what does Edward think of all this? Things are about to get tense, that's all I'm going to say!  
**

**To my guest who reviewed my last chapter: If, after reading 25 chapters, you think the plot is that Bella is pure and big bad Edward - with a line of women trailing after him - has to deflower her, we are NOT reading the same story. I don't believe the woman has to be pure while the man should fuck anything with a skirt and be a big macho and I'm not using that belief in my story. THAT is not the plot here. There are a lot of stories that portray that. Go read those and compare them with mine afterwards. Or just click X and move on to the next story that caught your eye. Thank you!  
**

**To the rest of my readers who have graced me with a PM or review: thank you! I assure you, I'm reading and enjoying each and every one of them. Your comments make my day!**

**Enjoy!**

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_"__People are supposed to fear the unknown, but ignorance is bliss when knowledge is so damn frightening."  
― __Laurell K. Hamilton_

BPOV

"Sooo… what did you think of last night's dinner?" Alice asked as she was rummaging through my closet to fine something 'work appropriate'. I bit back a snort.

"I think it was a good opportunity to meet the key players in the firm all in the same place. Did you see the look on Caius's face when he realized his brother was not backing him up? There will be hell to pay for that, I'm sure. So why would Felix put himself in that position for Esme?" I wondered out loud.

"Felix Evanson could always sell his share to Esme if things get out of hand. That would be like giving Esme full reign, even more than she already has and I'm sure Caius Evanson doesn't want that to happen on his watch." Alice said as she came out with a nice pair of dark navy trousers and a creamy silk top. She put the items on the couch at the foot of my bed and went back into the walk-in closet where she emerged a minute later with a nice pair of Louboutin patent leather pumps.

I smiled.

"Thank you, Alice. You know, I should pay you a monthly fee for all your hard work when it comes to my wardrobe and fashion sense."

Even though I said those words with a smile on my face, it's still very true. It's not that I wouldn't know what to wear because that would be a lie – thank God for internet and YouTube tutorials! Alice, however, does more than just pick out my clothes. She gives me the courage and confidence that I wouldn't have if my appearance wouldn't get her stamp of approval. Sure, I could do casual as a little more on the preppy side but other than that, I was lost. So, yeah... thank God for Alice!

"And speaking of monthly fees, any luck with finding someone interested in your skills, Miss Brandon?"

"I have a few meetings line up this week so I should be busy while you're gone. I'm sure one of them will peak my interest."

"Since we're on the peaking of interest... what do you think about Jasper?" I asked slowly, gauging her reaction. As per usual, Alice didn't fail to deliver. She blushed and looked away, suddenly very interested in the pattern of the rug by the couch.

"Yes, Alice, the zigzag pattern of the rug is nice. Now stop stalling and spill!" I said with a teasing voice. Her head snapped in my direction and her eyes narrowed.

"Like you're spilling about Edward?" She challenged me with a raised eyebrow and crossed her arms.

_She does have a point, _my mind whispered.

"You know how I feel about Edward." I meekly defended myself but I knew it was pointless.

"As a matter of fact, I don't. You like him enough to keep a cool head in front of that annoying Jane Evanson – that much I could tell. Other than that, your lips are sealed. You won't give me details about your date – and before you say anything, _nice_ is not a detail – and you won't talk about your future plans concerning him. I was really looking forward to some gossip." Alice finished with a pout worthy of an Oscar. I almost gave in. Then I remembered I hadn't allowed myself to think too much about that date. I would end up over-thinking everything and I didn't have the energy for that right now.

"There isn't really much to say, Alice. He's nice, attentive, a little overbearing and is probably the best kisser ever. Just the thought of his kisses and fragrance make my knees weak. He is going to be the death of me.

"But I have to try and keep a cool head about this. Today, I'll be receiving the documents my dad left me and I have to decide whether I want to read those papers or just hand them to Carlisle without a second thought. Should I also let Edward read them? Would that be a good thing? Would that put him in danger? Could I afford the risk of knowing that I would put a target on his back as well? Because, let's be honest here. I AM a target and everyone who has ties with me can be used as leverage to get to me. That's why Carlisle had those men following us around last week.

"We're going to work at the same firm and I don't think Caius is going to like that. He wants his daughter back with Edward and I think he's going to pull out all the stops to make that happen. I am standing in his way. You saw the looks he was throwing at me while I talked with Edward last night. He knows something is going on and it'll only be a matter of time before he figures it out. I don't want to put Edward in the position of taking my side if something happens. There are lots of things to consider, Alice. It's not just 'Do you like Edward or not'." I said, barely catching my breath during my ramble.

"Whoa! Breathe, Bella!" Alice said as she threw up her arms in the air, palms facing me as if she was making a point of not being out to get me.

I sighed. My mind was all over the place and I didn't like the feeling one bit. I got dressed quickly and glanced at Alice once I started applying mascara and a tinted lip balm. Unfortunately for me, no lipstick could ever resist me constantly biting my lips and I didn't want to end up with it on my teeth.

"You, Alice, have it pretty easy if you're interested in Jasper. And don't throw me that look. I've seen your not-so-sneaky glances and those little shared smiles between the two of you. You like him, Mary Alice Brandon. Don't deny it." I teased Alice and checked to make sure my hair was still in its high ponytail. It was. _Time to go downstairs and face the music._ I breathed in deeply and made my way downstairs, with Alice in tow.

"I like him, Bella." Alice said quietly.

"He likes you too." I replied instantly.

"You think?" She asked, peeking at me wearily.

"I'm more than convinced." I replied with a firm nod of my head.

Alice grinned.

* * *

Soon enough, we were both at the bottom of the stairs. I rummaged through my leather and wool boxer tote and produced my phone. A text from Edward was already waiting for me, informing me that he was in the kitchen with Carlisle and Esme.

"Great." I muttered and made my way warily into the kitchen where Edward, Jasper, Esme and Carlisle were standing at the breakfast island.

"Good morning." I said and got a 'good morning' from each person in the room, except Alice. Carmen made a motion with the kettle full with hot water and I nodded my agreement. Soon enough, a tea cup was set in front of me as I kept my eyes downcast, trained on the granite counter top.

"You okay?" Edward's voice broke through the haze of my thoughts. I smiled shyly and gave him a small nod. I brought the tea cup to my lips and took a tentative sip, afraid to get burned by the hot liquid yet unable to stay away from the comfort it always brought. The same thing could also be said about my relationship or whatever was going on between me and Edward. I was afraid, yet I couldn't stay away. He was a drug, always drawing me in for more. I closed my eyes. _Get a grip, Isabella. Survival comes first!_ But, the question was: could I live without him? If I were to pack my bags and disappear before I fell harder into this, I could. However, every second spent in his presence made my tie to him even stronger. I was losing _control._

"So, Isabella, are you nervous?" Esme asked as she took a sip of her coffee.

"I'd say I my curiosity surpasses my nerves. I'm more nervous about the things my Godfather will be sending me today." I said and threw a glance at Carlisle, gauging his reaction.

His eyes flew in my direction.

"How do you want to handle that?" Carlisle asked, a gentle edge to his voice. Had Esme gotten to him or did he want to make sure I wouldn't come back on my word because of his behavior towards me? Either option seemed plausible, though I would have been lying if I would have said that I didn't have a spark of hope that he would, one day, accept me.

"Jason said something about a safety deposit box. I should be receiving the key and instructions." I said with a neutral tone, hiding the emotions behind thick walls. Edward rested his left hand on the back of my neck, gently massaging the skin there. His ministrations helped me relax and focus on the conversation taking place in front of me, instead of getting lost inside my head in a mix of plans and questions. The random act of affection didn't go unnoticed. Esme smiled, Carlisle narrowed his eyes, Jasper stared, pinning me with his gaze, and Alice… Alice was almost jumping in her chair.

"Do you want to go today?" Edward asked.

"No. I'd rather not deal with this." I replied and looked at Carlisle. His stance relaxed slightly.

Edward turned his attention back at me. His gaze was burning, his presence – overwhelming. I had trouble thinking as his cologne filled my head.

"So… what are you going to do?" He whispered but with the silence in the kitchen, everyone else heard his question. I looked into his eyes, hearing the double edge of the question. _What _was_ I going to do?_ I entertained the idea of grabbing everything and disappearing but that was stupid. My dad's past would forever haunt me and the only way I could make sure it wouldn't result in my death was to settle down. The Cullen manor seemed like the best option at the moment. But there was a price to pay.

"I want Carlisle to have everything." I replied softly as I looked at Carlisle Cullen.

Edward stiffened. I quickly glanced at Esme, anxious to see what her reaction would be and was met with a kind gaze.

"I think it's a good thing to take a step back from all the crazy things that have happened over the past couple of weeks." Esme commented with a look in Edward's direction. "Carlisle will take all necessary precautions to make sure the past will remain the past… won't you, dear?"

There was a hard edge to Esme's voice as she addressed her question to her husband. I expected Carlisle to fight back and regain control over the situation but his silence spoke volumes. Esme had just picked a side and I was on that side. His _wife_ has just stated that she wanted him to take me under his wing and _keep_ me there. Needless to say, I was not expecting Carlisle to say anything other than '_yes, dear_'.

He didn't disappoint.

"Yes, dear."

The rest of breakfast was a quiet affair as Jasper stared at his father, Edward stared at me while Alice and Esme chatter happily about the party they would be throwing Edward. _Damn, I have to get him something._ What does one buy someone who is close but not close enough to call boyfriend and not far enough to call a friend? _Trust me to get in the most complicated _thing_ ever!_ I thought bitterly as I drowned the last of my tea.

"Well, we have to get going if we don't want Bella to make a bad impression on her fist day." Edward said as he kissed his mother's check and grabbed my hand a second later.

"Of course. Isabella, do not hesitate to let me know if something bothers you. Caius may take some time to warm up to the idea." She said, a slight warning notable in her voice. I nodded.

The building where Evanson and Platt held office was huge and they took up five floors. It was a mix of modern furniture, colorful paintings and glass. Everywhere you looked, there was glass. It scared me in a way. Thank God I no longer had issues with my balance or else there would have been a lot of glass to break and I _would_ have broken something! We stepped into the elevator and in less than two seconds, someone was already introducing themselves to me.

"You must be out new paralegal. I'm Mike Newton." Said the man who was eagerly shaking my hand with such vigor I thought my hand was going to pop out of my joint. His pale blue eyes held excitement and his blond hair kept getting in his eyes as he kept on shaking my hand. Mike was like a golden retriever, wiggling his tail around, unable to let go and back off. I smiled awkwardly and extracted my hand from his hold as fast as possible.

"Isabella Swan." I replied and stole a glance in Edward's direction. Edward, however, seemed caught up in a mental conversation with Mike. _Did he just _growl_?_

"Nice to meet you, Isabella. You're pretty." Mike said with an uncomfortable smile, close to a grimace, as he eyed Edward.

"It's Miss Swan to you." Edward hissed at Mike, making him cover back in fear.

"Yeah, well… we'll be working together on cases and stuff. I think we could go by our first names, right?" Mike asked, his gaze fixed on me.

I didn't get the chance to reply before Edward took a menacing step in Mike's direction. Mike's eyes widened.

"_You_ don't have a paralegal. She's here to help people who actually _do_ something. When's the last time you had a real case that needed research and document drafting?" Edward spit in his direction. Mike's cheeks turned pink. The whole situation felt like a pissing contest. _Urgh! This is worse than high school. Grow up, people!_

I shot Edward a glare that made him shut up instantly. _Good!_ Honestly, I felt bad for Mike. He may have slept with Edward's ex but I had no intention of getting caught up in all that. I didn't think – nor did I want – to refuse someone who asked for my assistance. Esme had recommended me but that did not mean that I was going to strut in and demand that people bow down to me.

"It's okay, Mike. Feel free to ask for my help if there's anything I could do to help. Last time I checked, I was hired to help _everyone_." I said with a glare in Edward's direction. His perfect jaw flexed and his eyes were blazing.

Thankfully, the elevator pinged, signaling our arrival, so I was spared from the uncomfortable situation I found myself in the middle of.

As soon as we were out of Mike Newton's hearing range, I grabbed Edward's hand and dragged him into his office. It was a _huge_ corner office and it was decorated stylishly. It was just like Edward: nothing flashy to scream _money_ but the tiny details and small trinkets had money written all over them. I blinked myself out of my daydream and turned my attention back at the situation at hand.

"Are you serious? You can't start telling me who I'm supposed to interact with and who I should stay away from!" I seethed.

"I didn't do that."

"Of course you didn't. You bullied Mike into thinking that without actually _saying_ it. That's not OK, Edward."

"That _idiot_ doesn't need a paralegal." Edward said through clenched teeth.

"It's not up to you to decide that, Edward!" I replied, frustrated with his attitude. "I will work with your ex, with the guy she cheated on you with, with her father, her uncle and you and everyone else who needs me. It's my job! Get over it! I have! I won't turn this into a pissing contest on who got who and I need you to promise me that you'll tone down that anger. It's not doing me any favors."

Edward hung his head and released a heavy sigh. I cradled his face in my hands and made him look up at me. His face was pained.

"Promise me you won't do anything." I whispered.

"I promise." He breathed out and traced the line of my jaw, his touch leaving a trail of five in its wake.

We stood like that for a few moments, gazing into each other's eyes as I watched the anger fade from his emerald orbs.

"There you are!"

I jumped at the sound, my hands dropping as I turned around and came face to face with a gorgeous woman dressed in an impeccable navy dress that followed every line and every dip without looking trashy in the least. Her hair was long, pale blond, like corn silk and her dark blue eyes regarded me with amusement. Her hands were on her hips and a slight smirk graced her lips.

I shifted uncomfortably under her gaze.

"Something you wanted, Kate?" Edward growled.

Her smirk became even more pronounced.

"Yes. I wanted to introduce myself to our new paralegal. I'm Katarina Vasilii, Edward's assistant, but, please, call me Kate." She said as she extended a perfectly manicured hand in my direction.

"Isabella Swan. Please, call me Bella." I replied as I shook her hand.

"Well, Bella, now that you've calmed down the lion, shall we go to your office?"

My jaw hit the floor.

"I have an office?" I asked and turned around to look at Edward who was scowling at Kate.

"Esme _insisted_ that you have your own space." Kate replied and I turned my attention back at her. "Now, shall we?"

"Yes, of course." I replied softly as I eyed Edward. He didn't seem too fond of the idea that I would have to leave his office.

"Let's go, then." Kate said and took off.

I struggled to keep up with her long strides as I looked around and tried to memorize my surroundings and how to make my way through the maze of cubicles and glass.

"I like your outfit." Kate commented as we made our way through the floor.

"Thank you."

"Don't mind Edward. He's a little hot headed when it comes to Mike."

"I've noticed." I murmured.

She barked out a laugh that made a few people turn their heads and stare at her. Kate wasn't fazed at all.

"You have a good influence on him. Even I can't get him to cool down so fast."

I kept quiet.

"He likes you." Kate said as she turned her attention at me.

"So I've gathered."

"No, I mean he _really_ likes you. With Jane, her betrayal wasn't the thing that hurt the most. It was his image in the firm and he even kept quiet if that meant that it would keep everything under wraps and no one would find out the reason behind their break-up. And now… he didn't give a shit about that image and went straight to Mikey's throat."

I nodded but didn't say anything. What was there to say, anyway? That was one love triangle I _knew_ I didn't want to be a part of.

"Here we are." Kate said and stopped in front of a glass wall and door, my name neatly written on it.

I stepped into the room, taking in my surroundings. It was nice, spacious and wall behind me wall entirely made out of glass, allowing the light to pour in. The walls were a dark grey with white trimmings and dark wood furniture completed the elegant look. But what caught my eye was a manila envelope on the desk. I picked it up and felt my heart rate go up. It was from my Godfather, Jason Jenks. _How did he know where to send this?_ I idly wondered.

"You can decorate it however you want." Kate's voice snapped me out of my internal musings. I nodded but couldn't make my mouth open and utter anything.

"Are you OK, Bella?" She asked me warily.

I nodded.

"What's that?"

"Nothing important."

"Okay…"

I turned around and gathered whatever strength I could to stop my mind from going back to my parents and the envelope in my hands. The envelope that held my future. _Shit._ I could feel myself grow paler by the minute. _Get it together, Isabella! _My mind screamed at me.

"Kate, I need to ask you a favor."

"Shoot."

"Could you send this to Carlisle Cullen?"

"To Carlisle?" Kate asked as she eyes the envelope in my hand. "It's addressed to you. Are you sure?"

"Yes. And…" I stopped for a second, thinking about my next request. "… could you tell Edward to come by my office when you see him?"

"Sure. I'll let you settle in." Kate replied with a smile that didn't reach her eyes.

_Great! I'm already acting like a freak!_

A couple of minutes passed as I stared at the view from my window and tried to get my thoughts under control. That envelope – and its contents – scared the living daylights out of me! I held in my hands information that could bring me my death. Information that my dad died to protect. Information that got my mother killed. _Fuck!_ I could almost feel my tears, seconds away from falling down my cheeks in salty rivers.

A noise behind me snapped me out of my thoughts and, soon enough, Edward had me in his arms as I struggled to get a grip over my emotions.

"It's okay. You're okay. You're safe. I'm here. I'm here."

* * *

**AN: Soooo... what do you think?**

**Let me know ;)**

**See you Saturday!**

****PS: this is the last time I'm approving a guest's comment that's fixated on Bella's virginity. There's nothing constructive in that kind of comment since I'm not putting a spotlight on that particular detail. ** It's not like I'm talking about her virginity in each chapter. Get over it or stop reading. Simple as that!******


	27. Ch 27 - The firm

**AN: Hello, everyone!  
**

**Sorry I missed Saturday's (and yesterday's) deadline. I am very busy at the moment but I promise I'll do my best to update on schedule from now on. Hang on with me here!**

**Thank you all for reading, reviewing, following, fav'ing and everything in between! You guys keep me going when these characters give me headaches! Your support (silent or not) is really precious to me! So, again, thank you!**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

_"Everybody struggles with this stuff, you know. With social discomfort and grief and fitting in. People with syndromes, people with disorders, people with diagnoses, and without. People who would be classified as neurotypical. Idiots and geniuses, maids and doctors. Nobody's got it all figured out."  
― __Jael McHenry_

BPOV

Edward's embrace and his spicy scent helped me get it back together. I feared someone would drop by to introduce themselves and find me in a very questionable situation but my fears never came true. I suspected it had something to do with the fact that Kate got Edward in my office in record time without me asking her to do that. _You wouldn't have asked her anyway_, my mind replied. _Your ego wouldn't have allowed you to make such a decision. _

Edward took my hand and led me to the edge of my desk where I took a seat and crouched in front of me. This position of submission in front of me showed me a vulnerable side to his personality that I'm sure very few got the chance to see.

"Feeling any better?" Edward asked with a sad smile that made me ache even more. I wanted nothing more than just throw myself into his arms and pretend that there wasn't anything going on, that I didn't want to burry my head in the sand and just forget everything. But things wouldn't work out like that. I had a life that I was supposed to live to the fullest. I had a friend that loved me like a sister. And there was also Edward who was so caring and attentive…

I felt like the only thing I was doing was to focus on the things that went wrong in my life, instead of focusing on the good that came out of all this craziness. I sighed.

"I would be lying if I said yes." I murmured and quickly looked away from his assessing gaze. _Nothing escapes this man. _

"Bella, we could postpone the meeting. It's not like the entire firm was summoned on a special occasion. Today is Jacqueline's last day and there's this meeting where we all say goodbye and wish her the best of luck and then welcome you among us."

"Le roi est mort! Vive le roi!" I said with fake enthusiasm.

"Something like that." He replied with a chuckle.

"I'm scared." I blurted out once the silence had settled once again.

"You should be scared." Edward replied without missing a beat. "Fear will keep you on your toes so always keep it nearby. I can assure you that dad and I are doing everything in our power to contain this and keep you as safe as possible but keep in mind that there's always something that can come up and you should keep your guard up. I meant it when I said that I would do whatever is necessary to keep you safe. You are... important to me, Bella."

There was a fire burning in his eyes, an emotion that I couldn't identify that made itself visible enough to see but not enough to decipher. I shivered. Not because of the cold – because there wasn't any – but because of the way he looked at me. I blinked rapidly, trying to break the spell he had me under.

"Thank you for caring, Edward." I replied with a smile that didn't reach my eyes. Smiling was the last thing on my mind when I thought about all the shit I was involved in and I had to thank my father for that. _At least you're not poor and on the run from the Mob._ Alice's voice rang through my head. She was right. But there's only so much that money can do when you're facing people out for blood, out for _your_ blood.

A knock on the door made us turn our attention away from my struggles and issues and on the surrounding world that usually faded away when we got caught up in our very own bubble.

"Come in." I said softly. Kate poked her head in and stayed there.

"I've sent your package to Carlisle and I wanted to let you guys know that the meeting will take place in less than 10 minutes."

"Thank you, Kate."

"We'll be out before the meeting, Kate." Edward replied with a non-sense tone and Kate nodded before closing the door behind her. He turned his attention to me once more and locked eyes with me. "Are you ready for this?"

I shrugged. "Not really but it's better we just get this over with so I can move on and get my mind off everything that happened today."

Edward smiled and took my hand. He kissed each of my knuckles on my right hand while he locked eyes with me.

"I'm here, Bella. I'm not going anywhere."

I stared at him, aware that my breathing had almost stopped. His intense look almost had me panting. _Damn!_

* * *

The first thing I noticed about the board room were the walls. Rows upon rows of books covered every available inch of space. You couldn't even fit a needle through. One wall was completely made of glass, allowing natural light to filter in and offered a spectacular view of the Sound. I could almost picture me in here, reading and enjoying the view.

The second thing I noticed was that there was only me, Edward, Caius and Jane. _Oh, goody!_

"Isabella, it's so nice to see you on board!" Caius said with fake enthusiasm as he stepped forward and took my hand. He kissed the back on my right hand and locked eyes with Edward. Behind him, like the good girl she was, stood his daughter, Jane, who was shooting daggers at me.

"It's nice to be on board, Mr. Evanson." I replied with a calm and collected demeanor as I locked eyes with Jane. Her eyes narrowed.

"Oh, none of that! We're like a family here. Please, call me Caius." He replied with another fake smile. I almost rolled my eyes. _Why are we trying to fool, Caius?_ My mind snapped at him but I kept my lips tightly pressed so that no words of how I was _actually_ feeling could escape. I was sure Caius wouldn't like it if I refused to pretend to like him, just like he was pretending to like me. He didn't like me. I was a thorn in his side. A thorn placed by Esme Cullen. For what reason, I had yet to find out.

"It seems that we are the first people to join the meeting so why don't we make ourselves comfortable? Donut?" Caius asked as he took one for himself.

"No, thank you." I politely declined and turned my attention towards Edward. He was looking at Jane with such disgust you would have thought he ate something bad and it was seconds away from making a reappearance. "Is there a place I should be occupying or should I sit?" I asked Caius who was busy stuffing his face as if he hadn't eaten in ages.

"You should sit at Felix's left. He usually takes the head of the table and I take the opposite."

I nodded and proceeded to take a seat. All the while, Jane watched my every move like a hawk.

The room soon filled to the brim. There wasn't a spare seat in sight. I learned that only partners take a seat at the table while the associates and other employees have to stand. Then again, it's not like there was any seat left for any associate to take. This firm was _huge._ And I would have to work with at least 60% of the people in the room. The thought left me feeling uneasy. I wasn't a sociable person and that was not a good sign.

"First of all, I would like to personally thank Jacqueline for all the work that she did here for us. You've been a pillar to many people around here and I think I speak for everyone when I say that you will be missed. Enjoy your vacation, finish Law School and come back here as fast as you can. We'll be waiting with our arms wide open."

Everyone cheered, congratulated and thanked Jacqueline for her support while I watched from the sideline. Some people seemed genuinely happy for my predecessor while others seemed to grind their teeth and fake a smile and a 'congratulations'. I took note of each reaction and emotion, keeping in mind that I would soon occupy the same seat she did.

"The person who will take Jacqueline's position is a very talented young woman. She's so talented that she finished her undergrad in two years instead of four. Our very own University of Chicago undergrad, Isabella Marie Swan." Felix said with a flourish and a wide smile and beckoned me at his side. I stood up from my seat and took his hand, nodding at the general direction of my audience. There were whispers, there were gasps, there were lustful gazes, there were a few raised eyebrows but, above all, there were the stares.

"Isabella is here as a recommendation from Esme Cullen and we all know how that turned out the last time she made such a recommendation." Felix said with a pointed look in Edward's direction. A few people chuckled nervously as Edward smirked and winked at me. I raised an eyebrow and kept my mouth shut.

Edward oozed confidence and charisma. He sat back and studied me, as if he were considering an option I wasn't aware of.

"She's gonna be the best paralegal this firm has ever seen. No offence, Jacqueline."

His words were clear, his voice commanding and reassuring at the same time. I had a suspicion he said those words for my piece of mind only. I had shared my doubts with his while he had driven us here and he was quick to dismiss my fears that I wouldn't be able to rise up to the challenge, reminding me that it wasn't very common for someone to cram four years of undergrad in two and actually succeeding it.

"Thank God she didn't finish Law School because that would have meant competition for you, Edward."

I tensed at Caius's words but Edward merely shrugged.

"Not just for me, Caius. She would be serious competition for _everyone._"

His pointed stare made me feel as if we were the only two people in the room. I cleared my throat and gave an awkward smile. I was uncomfortable with the sudden attention. Then again, it was a common occurrence when I was at the receiving end of praise and admiration.

The tension dissipated once Felix started talking again and wished me good luck. He reminded everyone in the room that they would have to fend for themselves for a week while I went through some training with him and Heidi in order to get a grasp of the general status of the firm.

During Felix's speech, I noticed a woman with long, curly, strawberry blonde hair, roughly about 5'5" tall, standing next to a very handsome man with dark hair and an olive complexion. From the way he held her, I could tell they were involved and one close look at her left hand told me she was engaged to him. However, the woman seemed more interested in Edward than whatever the man was whispering to her ear.

Edward caught my eye and turned his attention to the woman I was looking at. Her demeanor changed instantly. I could have sworn she was seconds away from _purring_, happy that she had his attention. Edward scowled and shook his head before focusing his attention back on me and Felix.

_Interesting reaction, Mr. Masen._

"Well, now that we've covered all bases, why don't we all welcome Isabella and get on with our day?" Felix said as he raised his cup of coffee in my direction. Soon enough, others followed.

"Here's to a successful collaboration!" I said and raised my glass filled with orange juice. I locked eyes with Edward as I took a healthy mouthful.

* * *

Three hours and a grilling training with Felix later, I was walking down the fifth floor, heading straight for Edward's office. Unfortunately, Mike almost ran into me and I had to stop and make sure the poor fool didn't break anything as he ran into an open door.

"Are you OK?" I said as I looked him over, searching for any sign that his run-in with the door had been severe.

"I'm fine." Mike replied and began gathering the mountain of papers that had slipped out of his hands. It was a miracle he was able to hold onto them in the first place.

I bent over and helped him gather everything as people walked by and snickered. Mike's cheeks turned a light hue of pink, a clear sign of embarrassment.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome. What's with all the papers?" I said and gestured towards the heavy stack that was once again in his arms.

"Oh… I'm helping Caius with a case and I had to do some research."

I frowned. By the looks of it, it wasn't just _some_ research. I had done my fair share of researching and the amount of papers that Mike was holding meant a week's worth of researching – if one was lucky enough to find everything they needed. I thought back to Edward's interaction with him in the elevator, when he said that Mike didn't need a paralegal since he wasn't actually doing anything. _Looks like Edward might have been a tad wrong, _my mind whispered.

I agreed with her.

"Am I the only paralegal here?" I asked. The thought didn't sit well with me.

"Yes. And like Edward said, you won't have enough time to help all associates. Some of us have to make do without a paralegal." Mike replied with an uneasy smile, clearly uncomfortable with my line of questioning.

"I see. Well, if you ever pass my office and see me with idle hands, don't hesitate to ask for help, Mike." I replied with what I hoped was a friendly voice.

He beamed back at me.

"Sure. Thanks, Isabella!"

"No problem. Now go! I'm sure Caius doesn't like waiting."

"Shit!"

He scrambled away as I watched him with an amused look on my face. _He's a good person._ My mind noted and I agreed with her. He did seem genuinely nice. How did he get involved with Jane Evanson? I shook my head of those thoughts and made my way to Edward's office.

"Hey, Kate! Would you mind giving me five minutes with Edward?" I said as I walked in just as Kate was bringing him some folders.

"Not at all. I'll make sure you guys aren't disturbed."

"Thanks."

Edward walked up to me and I took a step back. He paused and frowned. "What's wrong?"

"Are you involved with that woman who kept looking at you in the board room?" I blurted out before I got too chicken and turned around without asking him anything.

"What woman?"

"The blonde one, next to the man with the olive complexion." I explained and took a seat on his couch, crossing my feet at my ankles.

He chuckled and shook his head. "That would be Tanya. No, I am not involved with Tanya. She's engaged to Benjamin and even if she wasn't, I still wouldn't be involved with her."

I cocked my head sideways, examining his facial features, looking for some clue that he was lying. I couldn't find any. _He's telling the truth. But then… why did _she_ look at him like that?_

"Tanya is interested in me. She knows I know. She also knows I'm not interested." He said with an indifferent shrug of his shoulders. "She drops by from time to time to remind me that she would like me to fuck her. I don't intend to honor her invitation. It's really starting to get on my nerves so I've been recording her over the past few months."

I gaped at him, unable to say a word. _He what?!_

"But… she's engaged!" I half-whispered, half-screamed.

"Trust me, it hasn't escaped her notice." Edward muttered as he loosened his tie.

"So she wants to cheat on her fiancé with you and you haven't told him anything? Isn't there some guy code that you're breaking? If I were you, I would have told the guy what was going on underneath his nose." I said as I felt myself getting more worked up by the second. Lies and betrayal seemed to follow my every step, in all kinds of shapes and sizes and this was no different.

"I'm not close to Benjamin and his love life is none of my concern." Edward curtly replied with a cold edge to his voice.

"You don't have to be close to someone to tell them that they are being cheated on. Surely this hits a sore spot with everything that went down between you and Jane." I pointed out.

Edward's eyes narrowed. _Yup, sore spot indeed!_

"I don't get involved in petty arguments, Isabella. What do you think Benjamin would do if I just went up to him and told him what Tanya was doing behind his back? Do you think he would hug and thank me or would he try to justify her actions and put the blame on me?"

"I think he has the right to know what's going on and make an informed decision about his future. You're taking that away from him."

"I'm not taking anything away from him. He's clueless and clueless he'll remain until he catches her in the act. And trust me when I say that I won't be there to witness it. Are we done now?"

How could he be so cold? He really didn't care about Benjamin and his feelings or the fact that his trust was being betrayed by the very woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. His life was going to be built on a lie and he'll be none the wiser. People like Edward would look at him while knowing what his fiancé is doing in her spare time. I couldn't even begin to imagine the hurt and shame he would have to face when Tanya's true colors would come out. And they would, sooner or later. Like oil floats on the surface of the water.

"Yes. Sorry for taking so much out of your time." I said with a clipped tone and left his office just as he made a move to approach me.

My mind was going in all kinds of directions. I needed a drink and some food while I mulled over this new piece of information so I went to my office, grabbed my bag and went to the elevator. I needed air and some time away from this toxic work environment. With someone as Caius being served as an example, it was no wonder people around here had no respect and no sense of _loyalty_. The only person they were loyal to was themselves. And they were doing a piss poor job at that, too.

"Bella, wait up!" Kate shouted just as the elevator's doors were closing.

Instinctively, my hand shot out, stopping the doors from closing.

"Thanks!" Kate said as soon as she made it in.

"No problem." I replied, distracted by my thoughts.

The elevator slid down, stopping several times to collect more people going on their lunch breaks. Soon enough, we all stepped into the front lobby and I headed towards a coffee shop a little further from the building.

"Something on your mind?" Kate asked, making me jump. I hadn't been aware that she was walking close to me.

"Other than the fact that Tanya keeps making Edward indecent proposals and he's recording everything but isn't saying a peep to her fiancé? No."

Kate laughed, throwing her head back. _At least one of us thinks this is funny,_ I thought sourly.

"Oh, Bella… is that why you're so upset?"

"Wouldn't you be if you were in Benjamin's shoes?" I asked her as we entered the coffee shop and placed our orders for some sandwiches and tea.

"Benjamin seems fine to me. I think he's the happiest I've seen him in a while. Tanya's working her magic the way she knows best… by fucking his brains out!" Kate said and snorted in a very unladylike manner.

I gaped at her.

"What?" She asked once more than a few seconds had passed and I had yet to say anything.

"Too much information, Kate!" I hissed as I tried to bleach the visuals my brain came up with in less than a second.

"Oh, come on! I've seen the way you and Edward look at each other." Kate said as she wiggled her eyebrows.

"Well, you're wrong. Nothing has happened between me and Edward." _And with the way things are going, we might never get to that point._ I silently added as I took a sip of my tea.

"What? Why?"

I looked over at Kate instead of continuing to focus on my cup of tea. She seemed genuinely curious but I had just met her and I wasn't sure I wanted to continue this type of conversation with her. While I was sure she was loyal to Edward, I had yet to determine where I stood with her. She seemed like the type of person that rarely missed a big juicy gossip and my relationship with Edward could prove to be the biggest one yet. I had been hired upon Esme's recommendations and I could already tell that piece of information didn't bode well with some people. The last thing I needed was for people to think that I got this position because I was romantically involved with Edward. _Are we even romantically involved? We kissed a few times, went out to dinner… and that's it._

"What do you mean _why?_" I asked and raised an eyebrow.

"He likes you. You like him. End of story." Kate replied with a slight shrug.

I laughed, gathering the attention of a few people around our table.

"Edward and I don't seem to share the same values and that's something that I value greatly." I said as my laughter died down.

"Are you talking about Tanya and Benjamin? Bella, Edward is _not_ the first man in this firm that Tanya has chased. He's just one of the very few that haven't accepted her offer. She sees that as a challenge. That's all there is to it. It's the thrill of the chase, nothing more."

"This isn't about Tanya making her moves. This is about Edward keeping his mouth shut about it while her fiancé's probably thinking about having babies with her. He knows she's lying to him and he isn't doing anything. It's not just his word against hers. He was recordings and can easily prove he's telling the truth if Benjamin would question his honesty. But he doesn't do that. He just sits by and watches from afar the train wreck that's coming this way. I can't just… agree with him."

"Bella, I think this has deeper roots than just Tanya cheating on Benjamin and Edward keeping that knowledge to himself. What is this really about?"

I sighed. Kate was right… this wasn't just about Edward refusing to get involved in Tanya and Benjamin's relationship.

"How much do you know about my past?" I asked, deciding to cut to the chase.

"Everything."

I breathed out a gush of air.

"I wish someone would have given me a fair warning before I was thrust into this. There were lots of people that knew everything that had been going on. Some of them kept quiet so they could protect me. Some of them just bought their time until they could drop everything down on me in hopes that I would end up taking their side. I was robbed of my options, Kate. And that's something that I wouldn't wish upon anyone, not even my worst enemy."

* * *

**AN: So... what did you think about Mike, Kate and everyone else? Please, let me know. All you have to do is leave a review! (strangely, that rhymes...)**


	28. Ch 28 - The denial

**AN: Hey there!**

**How are you guys? Ready for a new chapter?**

**Here ya go!**

**Enjoy!**

**PS: I plan to update sooner than Tuesday. Who's excited?**

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_"__You can't get away from yourself by moving from one place to another."  
― __Ernest Hemingway_

BPOV

I had heard the phrase _time heals all wounds_ so many times and always brushed off. Each and every single time, like it would never apply to me, Miss I-know-it-all. I had been protected from heartache, broken trust and everything else in between simply because I had never actually put myself out there. I had always been cautious with my feelings and the people who were in my close circle. My peers in high school called me weird. Maybe I _was_ weird. In my opinion, it was better to be weird but _whole_ instead of normal and _broken_. I had long decided that normality was overrated anyway. I would have taken the title of the _weird girl_ over _normal girl_ any day if it meant that I wouldn't end up like Lauren did after her break-up with Tyler. Any. Day.

However, I should have known that my peace of mind wouldn't last forever and that, soon enough, I would also become fast friends with time and its ability to heal all wounds. I should have known that, at some point in time, I would have to open my heart to someone and be prepared for the possibility that he would have the power to bring me to my knees with just one word or look. I tried to postpone it. I tried to convince myself that I had a long way to go before getting there, that I had nothing to fear in the meantime. I tried to tell myself that feelings take a long time to develop, just as they take time to heal. The truth is, change can also be instantaneous; change can also happen in a matter of seconds and not just as the result of careful planning during a long period of time. I should have known that, too. I did. I just chose to ignore it.

My conversation with Edward in his office on Monday had been that moment. That second when it hit me that he meant something to me, that there was a reason why I had been so connected to him to the point that I knew if he was in the same room with me or not, to the point where his touch became a balm to my nerves and my wounded soul. There was a reason why my mind and body craved Edward Masen's presence and that reason was the fact that I had feelings for him. I had feelings that would have me falling for Edward Masen and I was… confused. How could it be that he managed to get past all my defenses only to prove that it had been a mistake? How could I allow someone who doesn't care about other people's feelings in my mind and heart?

I was at a loss.

Kate's words flew by and over me. She could have told me the lucky numbers to the damn lottery and I still wouldn't have cared.

We wrapped up lunch pretty quick after that. There wasn't much to say, anyway. Maybe it _was_ me. Maybe I needed to grow some thicker skin when it came down to people like Tanya and the fact that Edward covered people like her. I couldn't help but wonder how Edward thought about things like that. It was clear that he was a methodical planner who didn't let emotions get in the way. Was I just another piece of a bigger scheme that Edward had planned? After all, his father thought that so why would Edward be any different? My mind kept telling me that I was wrong but said mind had already been corrupted with thoughts and emotions… therefore, I couldn't trust it to be impartial. I doubted my own instincts. This was _bad._

"Are you okay?" Kate asked me as soon as we stepped into the empty elevator. I had to give it to her, she waited until the perfect moment arose: we were in a closed space with no places for me to hide. Then again, Kate gave the impression that she knew exactly what to say and when to say it. _And she always delivers, _my mind whispered.

"Yes." I replied and checked my phone for texts from Alice in an attempt to remind myself that there were other things going on in the world around me other than my inner turmoil.

My short reply made Kate shut up and we continued the rest of our ride in absolute silence. It suited me just fine. My thoughts were jumbled enough as it was. Any outside interference would have resulted in a disaster.

"We should do this again sometime." Kate said as we stepped out of the elevator.

"Yeah…" I said, trailing off. Did I really want to go out with Kate when I knew there was a chance Edward would be grilling her with questions afterwards? Probably not.

As soon as I stepped into Felix's office, all thoughts of Edward were thrown out the window. I owed myself – and Esme – as much. I was determined not to screw this up.

Felix's office was similar to Edward's: big, spacious corner office, with two walls made entirely out of glass, allowing the natural light to pour in as much as it could. All furniture was massive wood and the dark grey walls were covered in artwork. It was imposing and a little scary. _Just like Felix Evanson._

"Ready for the second part of your training for today?" Felix asked with a relaxed demeanor.

I nodded, took a seat at his large glass table, gathered my pen and pad and started writing as soon as he had opened his mouth. I needed to get my head in the game and stop fooling around and my training was proving to be the exact thing I needed to get my emotions under control and lock them away until further notice.

* * *

By the time my first day of training was over, I was ready to jump into my bed and stay there for an entire week. Of course, my wish didn't come true. As soon as I picked up my bag from my empty office, my phone started vibrating. It was Alice, begging me to eat out with her and have some _girl time_ which meant only one thing: Alice wanted to talk about her job interview and also try to get me to talk about Edward… and I was _so_ not looking forward to that conversation. Alice had always been a Pixie on a sugar rush when she wanted the inside scoop in my love life and I had kept her at arm's length for too long. I really didn't have the energy to sit through an entire meal full of questioning. However, if I were to choose between an awkward ride in Edward's car or sit through Alice's list of questions, I would pick Alice _anytime._ At least I had experience when it came down to _girl time_ with Alice.

I sent out a quick prayer to God, called Alice to confirm out dinner plans and hailed the first cad that passed the building before sending Edward a text to let him know that I would be with Alice. _Avoidance, Isabella?_ My mind asked. _Yes!_ I mentally answered. At this point, I needed avoidance so I could figure out what I would so next. I needed to plan. I needed to think. I needed control, damn it!

The Four Seasons restaurant was as snobby was it could get. However, that didn't make it any less beautiful and sought after. The hostess led me to Alice's table where an open menu was waiting patiently for me. My stomach growled at the thought of food.

Alice was a vision in a dark wrapped around dress that hit mid-thigh and her sleeked hair with a side parting was nothing short of perfection. She rose from her seat and gave me a tight hug before easing back into her seat.

After placing our orders for drinks and food, Alice pounced.

"I like Jasper." She said in one breath.

"I know. You already told me this yesterday, remember?" I answered with a smile in my voice. It was nice to see Alice happy.

"No… I _like_ Jasper." She said with a little more emphasis on the word _like._

"Oh…" I said, my eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Yeah. It's just… we clicked, Bella. It's like… I've been incomplete until I saw him, until I sat in his presence, until I heard his voice and felt his touch. It's like I'm finally… alive. It's like he brought me back to life, filled my soul with his essence."

My mouth was sealed shut by the end of Alice's confession. _That's the exact way you feel about Edward, Isabella._ My mind pointed out while I did my best to shut her up. That was uncharted territory and I had no intention of going there at the moment. _More like never._ My mind snorted.

"Bella? Are you alright?" Alice's concerned voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I looked back at her and tried my best to smile in spite of the thoughts whirling inside my head.

"Yeah. A little shocked, I guess. Hearing you, the constant flirt, talking like this…"

"There's more to that reaction than this." Alice pointed out and crossed her arms. _Perceptive Pixie!_ "Well? Spit it out already!"

"I feel the same way about Edward." I blurted out and screwed my eyes shut, prepared for Alice's screech that would probably get us kicked out of the restaurant.

But Alice didn't say a peep. I peeked at her and found Alice still as a statue, staring at me.

Now, I could count on the fingers on one hand the times I had managed to surprise Alice and still have fingers left to spare. It seemed like I would have to count another finger in my favor. It took Alice a minute before her eyes returned to their normal size and she no longer looked like a fish out of water was she struggled to say a word.

I had rendered Alice speechless. _Someone give me a pen so I can mark this down on my calendar._

"Why do I get the feeling you're not as happy as you should be?" Alice asked with a frown as she studied my face closely.

"Because I've realized this after I've gotten in a disagreement with him." I replied as I rolled my eyes.

"Already?! Over what, pray tell."

My eyes narrowed.

"So I take it we're done talking about Jasper and your impending wedding?" I said, trying to get a reaction and escape the 20 questions.

"For the time being, yes. Now, tell me what happened." Alice replied, refusing to bite. _Shit!_

"Someone – who's engaged, by the way – has been offering herself on a silver platter to Edward for quite some time now. He hasn't taken her up on her offer _but_ he has been recording their 'meetings' – only God knows why since he refuses to tell her fiancé what's going on behind his back." I replied, annoyed once again by Edward's behavior.

"That's weird." Alice said a minute later as she took in what I had told her.

_I couldn't agree more, Alice._

"I can't help but think that maybe this whole thing with me is just another piece of a bigger puzzle that I have yet to see. I'm falling for him, Alice, and I don't want to let this grow into a one-sided affair. I refuse to turn into that girl that's pinning for the popular guy who has all the female population at his beck and call or the girl that lets go of all her principles just because he doesn't share them."

"Bella, I can see why this would be a sore spot for you…" Alice began to say but I cut her off.

"It should also be a sore spot for him, considering his past with Jane." I hissed. "I really don't get it, Alice." I moaned and rested my head on my arms.

"And you're not going to get it by talking to me about this. You have to talk to _him._ Tell him how you feel about this, tell him how you feel about _him_. I can give you my advice as an objective viewer but he's the only one who knows what's going on inside his head."

I sighed.

"I know."

"I'm sure you guys will work this out." Alice said as she patted my right arm. "That is… if you want it to work out." She added with raised eyebrows.

I frowned.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean… maybe this is you being afraid to get down and dirty in a relationship. Maybe you like the _idea_ of Edward and seeing his flaws come in contrast with that idea…" she trailed off and shrugged.

I took a minute to ponder her words. Was I holding Edward to an impossible height? It didn't seem that way to me. I was aware that Edward wasn't and never would be perfect. I didn't even _want_ him to be perfect because that would mean that I had to be perfect in order to be good enough. He had flaws and one of them was pissing me off at the moment but was I using that flaw to protect myself and, by extension, my heart? It was possible…

"I don't know, Alice." I found myself saying. "I need time to process this. It hits too close to home, ya know?"

"I know. Hoe about we keep the rest of the evening strictly work related?" Alice asked with a smug look.

"Oh my God! You got the position, didn't you?" I whisper-shouted, careful not to disturb the other patrons in the restaurant.

"Yes, I did!" She replied, dancing in her seat.

I was so happy for her.

We spent the rest of the night talking about the firm and my training the Alice told me about the project she would be working at and we soon realized that free time would soon become a distant memory. Our schedules were filled to the brim. The good news was that it was filled with doing something we both enjoyed. The bad news was that we would be seeing each other 20 minutes in the mornings and in the weekends. Alice reminded me that she was one call away no matter what I needed and that helped to settle my nerves a fraction.

As soon as I got out of the shower, my face fresh and without a trace of make-up, I tumbled into bed and welcomed sleep with arms wide open.

* * *

I barely ate on Tuesday morning, too afraid to mess up my outfit for the day which consisted of white stretch linen pants and a light blue cotton shirt. Knowing my luck, I would end up with food on my clothes by the end of the day. I wore my hair in a French braid, too lazy to straighten it into submission after I had fallen asleep with my hair wet and Alice set my nude Oxfords as my proper shoes for the day. My only accessories were my diamond studded earrings and I only managed to put them on as I ran from the house and into Alec's car.

Which brings us to the latest news: I would have a personal bodyguard starting that Tuesday.

His name was Alec Smith and I liked him instantly. He was roughly 30 years old and had this calm demeanor and nonsense attitude that proved to be the exact thing I needed as I was scared shitless ever since Carlisle informed me that my security would have to be stepped up a notch. Apparently, my dad had pissed off a few influential people. _Thanks, dad._ Needless to say, everything Alec asked of me became a rule I was _not_ going to break. I planned on living for a few more decades.

"Here we are, Miss Swan." Alec said, making me look up from my notes from the previous day. We had arrived in front of the building in record time. I briefly wondered if Edward had already arrived but quickly banished the thought.

I needed space from Edward Masen if I was ever going to understand the jumble of thoughts inside my head.

"Thank you, Alec. And, please, call me Bella. I think we can skip the whole 'Miss Swan' since you're hired to take a bullet for me and all that."

Alec chuckled.

"Okay, Bella it is then."

A genuine smile made its way on my lips.

"Good. Now, I'll take a lunch break today, I'll text you the when and the where, like we've discussed, and I'll let you know immediately if something has happened." I said as I mentally ticked off the items on my mental list.

"OK. Have a nice day at work."

I bit back a snort.

"Oh, it'll be very nice." I said, my words thick with sarcasm.

Alec looked at me puzzled. I waived my hand as if I was saying 'it's too much to tell' and got out of the car.

As soon as I stepped into the building, I let out a breath I wasn't aware I was holding. _So much for Alec's nerve-soothing presence,_ I thought sourly as I stepped into the elevator where a few heads turned as soon as they saw me walking in.

_This is going to be a _very_ long day._ I could feel it in my bones.

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**AN: Like it? Loved it? Hated it? Let me know.**

**Also, your reviews will make me write faster *wink wink***


	29. Ch 29 - The apprentice

**AN: Hello, guys!  
**

**I haven't updated yesterday because I had this _huge_ idea about a one shot and I've been writing like crazy! I hope to post it really soon! :)**

**Thank you all for your lovely words and opinions! Your feedback really means a lot to me!**

**Yes, it's going to be a fic where Tanya doesn't exactly have a nice role. I know it's a common theme but I wanted to keep it as close to cannon as possible. I know, cannon would mean much more than just Tanya wanting Edward but you get the idea ;) As for Jane... I wanted her to have a bigger part in this story. Believe it or not, I like her character.**

**Anyway, here's chapter 29!**

**Hope you'll like it!**

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_"__I'm like a fish in a pool, turning quickly to avoid what challenges it. My only decision is whether to go right or left to sidestep confrontation."  
― __Doug Cooper_

BPOV

Attention from the opposite sex has never really been on my list. I had always thought I was too plain and waaaay too boring to be around and I stuck to that belief all through high school and college. To be honest, I had no interest in boys because that would have meant I had another thing that demanded my attention on my already long list: a relationship. I already had too much on my place with the impossible course load that I was joggling and anything else would have been impossible to add.

Granted, I could have gotten myself a fuck buddy since most of the guys in high school and college dream about that, too scared to be in a relationship because that would mean the end of their high prized _freedom_. It would have been so easy to find someone who just needed to relieve the stress… but there was something that always held me back when my mind began entertaining various fantasies about guys I knew. The thing that held me back was my parents' relationship.

My parents cared deeply for each other and sometimes it made me sick to be in the same room with them while they were busy eye-fucking each other. In a way, I was jealous that they seemed to find their better half and reach this level of trust and commitment. It took a sturdy foundation to build such a relationship and that meant time, attention and emotions. I didn't have any of that. I wasn't even looking for it. I was young. I needed to go out, see the world and make a name for myself before even _thinking_ about starting something with someone. However, I couldn't deny that when the time was going to be right, I would have had the best example right in front of me.

Their relationship was exactly the kind of relationship I wanted to have with someone, some day. I didn't want to have one night stands and wake up in a foreign bed as the guy throws me my clothes and points to the door to let myself out as soon as I get dressed. That was not me. I had seen my fair share of walks of shame since me and Alice lived in a co-ed dorm in my first year and I had had all of the examples of how _not_ to end up.

So imagine my surprise when every single male in the firm started eyeing me and smiling at me as the elevator rushed us to the 5th floor.

At first, I brushed it off. I was a new face and they probably wanted to get on my good side since I was going to be the only paralegal in the firm. But those thoughts soon went down the drain as they started giving me their cards with their personal phone numbers so I could contact them _anytime_. Of course, I took each card and smiled awkwardly. There were a few cute guys that could have made it on a list but as soon as we stepped out of the elevator and I saw Tanya walking out of another elevator, I thought about their own lists. Was Tanya on them? _Probably yes_, my mind replied, her tone showing her disgust. _Okaaayy..._

I tossed their cards in the nearest trashcan the first chance I got. It was just my luck that it happened to be Kate's.

"Seriously?" She said with a raised eyebrow and an eye fixed on the trashcan.

"What?" I replied, a little curious to what she had to say.

"That was David from Accounting. Every woman on a ten feet radius is panting each time he graces us with his presence on this floor." She said as she pointed at the back of the handsome 30 something man who looked more like a runway model than an accountant.

"I know." I replied with a sigh. He was handsome. _He is also on Tanya's list._ The thought sobered me up instantly.

"Then… I'm sorry but I fail to see the problem." Kate insisted as she kept eyeing the guy.

"He's probably on Tanya's list."

"Tanya's list of what?" Kate replied, obviously not getting my more than subtle hint.

I raised an eyebrow at her frowning face.

"Do I really need to explain what list?"

Two seconds of silence settled between us. I counted.

"Oh." She replied as it dawned on her.

"Yep." I replied and waved at her as I made my way down the hall to my office to leave my bag and then make my way to Felix's office.

Just thinking about all the things I needed to stuff into my head made it hurt. Just what I needed: the beginning of a migraine. Then again, I would have taken anything that would keep my occupied and my thoughts away from what was going on outside of the firm. People were actually out to get me. As in… they wanted me dead or at least very close to dying since they still needed whatever my dad had left me. I sighed. _Would I ever have a normal life?_ Probably not. Then again, I wasn't really aiming for a normal life when I my goal in life was to be an attorney, a prosecutor or even a judge.

"Isabella, hi!" Mike said as soon as I was in his line of vision. He got up from his cubicle and walked alongside me as I walked towards my office.

"Hello, Mike." I said with an indulgent smile. All he needed was a tail so I would know just how happy he was to see me. "How are you? Working on any big cases?"

"I'm good. Working on a pro-bono. What about you? How is training so far?"

Mike seemed so happy to see and talk to me that it struck me just how isolated he was from everyone else. There were a few people who raised an eyebrow or even both as they saw us strolling by, no doubt thinking about his connection to Jane and mine with Esme, the mother of the man Jane cheated on with Mike. _So much for trying to stay away from that triangle, Isabella. _My mind said as I thought about Mike and how he ended up with Jane. He seemed nice, a little too eager to get people to like him but I guess that was to be expected when you're the one Jane cheated with on Edward, Seattle's most promising attorney. I got the feeling that people either disliked him for what he did to Edward – indirectly – or they envied him for being the man who Jane chose.

"Mentally exhausting but I'm loving every moment." I said, grinning. "There's something about actually applying all the knowledge I've gained during my undergrad. It gives me a sense of purpose." I said with a bright smile.

"Wow! You really like this!"

"I do! I wasn't so convinced at first but I think it will do me a lot of good working here and seeing for myself what being an attorney is really about and not just Law School myths."

"So… if you didn't set out to be a paralegal, what did you want to be?"

"I liked Criminal Law. I wanted to be a prosecutor." I replied as I thought back to my past dreams and aspirations with a longing that quickly settled in my bones. Thinking about the life I would never have tended to do that to me.

"_Wanted_ as in… past tense. What made you change your mind?"

Mile was nice but his questions were a little on the inquisitive side and I wanted him to back off. _But how do you tell that to an adorable puppy without hurting his feelings?_

"I guess I just outgrew it." I replied and shrugged nonchalantly. "It's been nice talking to you, Mike. I have to go to Felix now and endure three hours of training." I said and touched his forearm gently to signal the end of our discussion. There was only so much I could talk about my past without going to a very dark place and right now was not the moment.

Mike smiled and nodded eagerly.

"Of course. We don't want the big boss to wait." He said with a departing wink and a big grin.

I laughed, throwing my head back as I clutched the pen and pad in my arms so I wouldn't drop them. Some people looked at me funny but I couldn't give a damn what they thought about my reaction. It felt good to laugh and leave all bad thoughts away, even for a few moments. Mike turned out to be a nice guy, which kind of surprised me, to be honest. From Edward's description, he didn't sound like someone who would have the ability to make me laugh and bring out the carefree side of me which rarely saw the light of day.

I made my way to Felix's office with a smile on my face, determined to set aside the fact that people wanted me dead or alive or the fact that I still haven't talked to Edward ever since yesterday noon. He had texted me last night and that was that. And I had decided to leave it at that. It wasn't my place to tell him what to do and how to react in certain situations but I wasn't going to start pretending that I agreed with his actions. _Where does that leave you, Isabella?_ My mind asked and I mentally shrugged. I had no idea. Then again, I had no idea about many things I should have had an idea so it wasn't something new.

"Good morning, Maggie!" I greeted Felix's secretary with a cheery voice and attitude. "Is Mr. Evanson in his office?"

"Good morning, Isabella. Yes, he is. You are a little early, though…" she replied with a frown as she checked his calendar.

I _was_ early… ten minutes early but Maggie seemed like the type of person that wanted you to be on the dot, not a second earlier or later. I suppressed an eye roll and continued to smile politely at her.

"I could return in ten minutes. It's really no bother." I offered but mentally crossed my fingers. I didn't want to go back to my empty office to kill five minutes. That place was depressing. I needed some flowers, some photographs… something to liven up the space! The only good thing about my office was the fact that I would have my space where I could work in peace. _And the wall that's actually a window. Don't forget about that. _My mind whispered, reminding me about the huge plus that the office seemed to have.

"I'm sure Mr. Evanson won't mind. Go ahead." She said with a wave of her hand as if it was killing her inside to break protocol. You would have thought I was seeing the damn King and not my direct superior. _Oh well…_

"Thank you, Maggie." I said with another smile and step inside Felix Evanson's office after a brief knock.

"Good morning, Mr. Evanson. Miss Isabella Swan, reporting for duty." I said with a mock salute.

Yesterday, I had found Felix Evanson to be very imposing and intimidating but as soon as we started to talk and I got to know him better, I discovered a funny side to the No. 2 in the firm. Felix was fond of jokes and assured me he was no stuffy attorney who expected everyone to bow down to him. The fact that they still did was a sign of their respect, nothing else. After that little speech, I added Felix Evanson to the list of people I liked in this firm.

"Good morning, Isabella. You may sit." Felix replied with a chuckle.

I thanked him, took a seat at the huge mahogany desk, on his left, and arranged my pen and pad on the cool, shiny surface.

"Your demeanor and outfit make me believe that this is a very good day or you're compensating for something. Which one is it?" Felix asked as he looked me up and down.

_Oh, and did I forget to mention that Felix knows about my dad and the Mob?_

I blew out a breath and sank in my seat.

"I'm good." I said and left it at that.

"You don't seem too convinced about that." He pointed out.

"Oh, I'm as convinced as I'll ever be. I have a bodyguard who will watch my every move as soon as I step a foot out of the Cullen mansion so…" I trailed off and shrugged.

"That's good. But you still haven't answered my question. Are you as cheery and carefree as your outfit for the day or are you _trying _to be?"

"I'm trying and it's working for now." I replied and avoided eye contact.

The conversation was killing my good mood. I was in the firm to work and help people around, not talk about my dad's failure to keep me safe after he died. Then again, he left Edward in charge and it seemed to work… for the moment. But he had to know that Edward wouldn't be able to do much when the heavy players would come to collect. Was my dad that naïve to think Aro Volturi would have jumped at the opportunity to help me? Did he think I would have taken Aro Volturi's side? Everything was so confusing… it was making my head spin with all the possible scenarios and all the available outcomes.

_Did I make the right choice?_

That question kept going round and round in my head.

"Ah, yes... houses reflect the owner's personality and clothes reflect one's state of mind. Or they compensate. Or _over_compensate, sometimes." Felix said, bringing my attention back in the room where it should have been. "But enough about that. Let's get down to business. We have a lot of procedures to cover in a very short period of time."

And that was exactly what we did non-stop for the next three hours. By the time I was excused to go and grab lunch, my head was pounding.

Lunch was uneventful. I ate alone, texting back and forth with Alice and Alec, both checking in with me to make sure that I was okay and nobody had approached me.

The rest of the day went by in a daze. I joggled two notebooks in my arms by the end of my second day at Evanson and Platt while also battling a huge migraine. Alec dropped me at the front door and waited until I got in the house before taking the car to the garage.

I was so out of it that I didn't see Emmett Cullen until I bumped into him. _Literally._ His hands snapped and caught me before I hit the floor and hit my head.

"Whoa! You okay?" Emmett asked as he looked me up and down.

"Yeah… Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going." I murmured.

"I could see that." He replied with a chuckle. I ducked my head and hid my face from his scrutinizing gaze. "So, where's the Pixie?"

"At work. She has some crazy hours." I replied with an awkward smile.

"Huh… and here I was, thinking I could talk to her about Edward's birthday party." He said as he scratched the back of his head awkwardly. _Okaaaayy…_

I shrugged noncommittally. Edward was _not_ someone who I wanted to talk about. _Especially with his brother._

"Sooo… how's Rose?"

"She fine… a little exhausted since she's on call. I came here to spend some time with dad but apparently, he and mom have a date so that's out…"

"What about Jasper?"

"He's got some late classes with some students who are failing his class."

"I see…" I said and trailed off, not knowing what else I could say to him.

Emmett and I had only met with Rosalie as a buffer and I wasn't even close to Rosalie. Granted, she was nice and we spoke a little but other than that, I hadn't spent any time alone with her. She did seem like a nice person, driven by passion and with a lot of goals to fulfill and I could relate to that, once upon a time. The fact that she was Emmett's fiancé could only mean that they complemented each other perfectly.

It was nice to see other couples, especially since the only people I had admired had been my parents.

As I was thinking about Emmett and Rosalie, Carmen came into the living room as she was wiping her hands on her immaculate apron.

"Dinner will be served in 20 minutes since Miss Swan has just arrived."

I frowned.

"It's not necessary, Carmen. I can heat the food just fine."

"Don't be silly, Isabella. We'll wait for you. This way I can talk to you about something."

"What about?"

"We'll talk over dinner."

I nodded and made my way up to my room where I took a quick shower and threw on a pair of sweatpants and a T-shirt. I slipped into a pair of sneakers and released my hair from the braid, combing my fingers through the tresses.

"We shall eat in the back, by the pool. It's so pleasant outside that it would be a pity to stay inside." Carmen informed me as I took the bowl of salad.

"Okay. Lead the way." I replied with a smile.

The dinner was delicious and quiet but it was a good kind of quiet. It didn't feel like we had to talk to fill it.

However, as soon as I finished helping Carmen clear the table and returned to Emmett, he pounced.

"What's going on between you and Edward?"

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**AN: I couldn't resist a small cliffhanger. Forgive me?**


	30. Ch 30 - The talk

**AN: Hello, my lovely readers! **

****How are you today? Enjoying the weekend? I hope this chapter will only make it better ;)****

**It's currently 9 AM here so I'd say this is the earliest I have _ ever _posted a chapter but I'm visiting people this weekend and I won't probably get the chance to update before Tuesday. **

**Thank you for reading and all your lovely reviews! Even though I don't reply to each one, I read them _all,_ make no mistake! So, thank you, once again!**

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_"__You learned to run from what you feel, and that's why you have nightmares. To deny is to invite madness. To accept is to control."_

_― __Megan Chance_

BPOV

Dodging Emmett's questions was really easy once he understood that talking about Edward was not on my 'to do' list. He backed off without further prompting and began pumping me for information about my past. As a reward for each question I answered, Emmett told me a few things about himself. I found out that he was an architect and that he enjoyed playing basketball at least once a week. I also found out how he and Rose had met. Apparently, he had twisted his left ankle at a game with his friends and they dragged him to the ER.

"Of course, I was a stubborn motherfucker. I kept complaining all the way to the hospital but the guys wouldn't hear of it. I kept moaning and bitching even as I filled out the paperwork and waited for someone to take me. Then Rose drew the curtains and I was rendered speechless. She asked me a bunch of questions that flew over my head and eventually she got pissed that I wouldn't answer her. That's when I snapped out of it and asked her out. Not one of my best moments but it landed me the woman of my dreams so I can't complain.

"And the rest, as they say, was history."

I smiled, picturing them locking eyes and sharing smiles.

"My brothers are different, though. We all go for what we want and in the end we all want the same thing but the way we go about it... totally different.

"Take Jasper for example. He's a very good History teacher and he's very passionate about his job. He can talk your ear off about the Civil War but when it comes to talking to the girl he likes, he clams up. So, unless the girl does all the chasin', nothing will ever happen. He'll admire her from afar and that's it."

So Alice would have to do all the chasing? _Good to know._ I didn't think she would mind.

"What about Edward?" I asked, my curiosity getting the best of me. I tried to keep my voice devoid of any emotion but Emmett saw right through me. His smirk was all the answer I needed.

"Edward is cold." Emmett replied cryptically.

I frowned.

"What do you mean by cold?"

"The women do all the chasing and he just looks the other way. He's very fickle and the fucker can afford it since many throw themselves at him on a daily basis." Emmett replied with a snicker and a shake of his head as if he was remembering things from his past.

_Including Tanya,_ my mind added.

I nodded and stopped myself from asking more. I took a sip of my still water and watched the full moon as it peeked through the thin layer of clouds. Carmen had been right. It was too nice outside to eat between four walls of concrete.

"He likes you." Emmett said, breaking the silence a few minutes later. It sounded like something he had been itching to tell me yet he was cautious about it.

I snorted.

"He has a funny way of showing it." I replied with an emotionless voice as I took a sip of my water to keep myself from sharing my thoughts about Edward's behavior.

"Edward is a little on the weird side. Don't let that mess with you." Emmett replied without missing a beat as he once again locked eyes with me. I played with my glass, sliding it from one palm to another and tried to get my thoughts under control. I didn't want to think about Edward and all the emotions he stirred inside me. It was a new feeling – this uncertainty. I had been feeling it for almost a month now but I still couldn't get used to the fact that I could no longer control what happened to me or what happened inside my head. I was starting to realize that control was only an illusion, one that I had foolishly thought was as solid as the ground beneath my feet. It wasn't and I was paying the price for that particular idiocy.

"Why are we having this conversation again?" I asked as I kept my eyes trained on my glass, a little annoyed that we were once again discussing Edward. _Well, you did ask about him… _my mind reminded me. _Oh, right._

"Curiosity."

"What are you curious about, Emmett?" I asked with a sigh. "Spit it out and stop beating around the bush." I said as I locked eyes with him once again.

Emmett laughed, his perfect dimples showing and rows of pearly white teeth glowing in the moonlight. He was a sight to see, that's for sure.

"Basically, I want to know what you told him to get him in the foul mood I found him in today." He replied as he locked eyes with me.

"You came by the firm today?" I asked. This was news to me.

"Yes. During lunch break. I had to talk to Edward about something." He replied vaguely.

_Oh…_

"Well, I don't know what got him in that mood because we had a talk yesterday morning and I haven't seen him since." I replied with a shrug but my mind was already racing with questions. Why was Edward in a mood? Was it because we had fought and disagreed about his actions and way of thinking? A part of me wanted to say yes, I did want him to be upset and mull over what he was doing, but there was also another part which wanted him to see the error of his ways by himself and not because he was being forced by me.

Our conversation ended shortly after that and I retired to my room. I slept like shit the whole night, barely catching an hour of sleep altogether before I woke up to the shrill of my alarm the next morning. I groaned and pulled the pillow over my head for a few seconds, trying to get the fatigue under control.

My outfit for the day – a pair of black stretch linen pants, a pale pink satin blouse and black flats – awaited me on the couch at the foot of the bed. Alice must have walked in during the brief period that I managed to doze off and arranged everything. It was a good thing she thought of an outfit that wouldn't need heels because at the rate this day was turning, I would have injured at least one of my ankles. The water felt amazing on my body, washing away the nightmares and cold sweat that clung to my body like a second skin, and I stood under the spray longer than usual. I scrubbed every inch of skin methodically with my towel and straightened my hair afterwards using the blow drier. As I checked my phone for the time, I realized that breakfast would not be happening anytime soon. I was running late so I would have to skip it and get something from the café.

Fortunately for me, Carmen greeted me at the bottom of the stairs with a thermos full of tea and some pastries in a brown bag. My stomach and I thanked her profusely and I wasted no time digging into my breakfast as I ran towards Alec's car.

"Good morning, Alec." I said between bites of delicious pastry and gulps of warm tea.

"Good morning, Bella. I see Carmen was prepared for a hasty departure." He said with a snicker.

I glared at him.

"I couldn't sleep last night." I said as an explanation for my tardiness. Truth was, I had barely slept all night and not even my morning shower helped to diffuse the grogginess. I was late not because I hadn't woken up on time but because I had to drag my body to perform even the simplest of tasks like brushing my teeth.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and glanced in the rearview mirror where I found Alec's eyes trained on me rather than on the road ahead. We had yet to leave and I didn't want to be late.

"I'm fine. Can we leave now? I'd rather not be late." I said with a voice devoid of all the emotions stirring inside me. It was a though battle but I had to win it. It just took a little more time than usual.

The drive to Evanson and Platt was quiet as I tried to sort through my thoughts. I had been plagued with nightmares during the little time I had managed to doze off. Needless to say, going to work in a mood like this was not something I would have chosen for myself.

The stares that I got in the elevator were even more pronounced but I avoided each one as I focused on my phone, the earplugs blaring some indie music meant to make me feel better. It wasn't working.

As soon as I stepped out of the elevator, I removed the earplugs and stuffed them back into my bag, reconnecting with the world once again. It was like coming up for air after swimming a long lap. _Speaking about swimming, I should take advantage of that pool tonight._ I thought to myself as I made my way to my office where I dropped my bag and hurried towards Felix's office where three hours of training awaited me.

_I should have drank a black coffee to keep my eyes from closing on their own._

* * *

"How much longer do you plan on avoiding him?"

Kate dumped her lunch on my table and sat down with a huff. I raised my eyes from my phone and stared at her. Kate was dressed in an impeccable charcoal suit that brought out the nice color of her hair and was stunning.

"The jury is still out." I replied and focused back on my phone where Alice was writing a mile per minute about her job and all the creative people who had welcomed her with open arms into their group. I envied her. All I got were leery looks and pissed of women. And it wasn't even my fault.

I suppressed a sigh and continued to browse through the pictures she has sent me.

"Let me know so I can finally come out of hiding." Kate muttered as she lifted her cup of coffee to her lips.

I arched an eyebrow.

"Why don't you go and bitch to Edward about Edward's attitude? That would be more appropriate." I replied with a sour look and a pissed off attitude. I had enough of people wanting whatever I could give them without getting anything in return.

"Whoa! Who ran over your puppy?"

Kate replied without looking the least fazed about my earlier comment.

"I slept like shit all night." I said as an explanation.

The truth was that the lack of sleep wasn't the issue. The issue where the reoccurring nightmares that I couldn't seem to shake off. I had almost snapped at Felix today when he pointed out that I hadn't been paying attention to what he was saying. And it wasn't even interesting.

"Want some coffee?" Kate offered but I declined with a shake of my head.

The last thing I needed was caffeine to get me even more pumped up than I already was.

"Something tells me this is more than just a lost night. You finished your undergrad in two years so I think you had a lot of catching up to do before you missed out on another night of sleep."

Kate was right but I wasn't going to tell her that. She knew more than enough about me and everything that had happened with my parents. I had to draw a line before more people would know this type of things. I had enough pity stares as it was. No need to keep on adding to that number.

"I don't want to talk about it." I replied with a flat tone that left nothing up for discussion.

"OK… Can we talk about what you said yesterday?"

_What did I say yesterday?_ Was she talking about Tanya? I didn't remember saying anything else. That had to be it.

"What about that?" I asked, my tone once again flat, showing just how _excited_ I was to talk about that once again.

"I've been thinking and you're right. David's list is long and probably has Tanya on it. Then I thought about the other hotties in our firm and I've reached a sad conclusion." Kate said with a mock sigh. I suppressed a smile, curious to hear what this woman had to say. From the look on her face, it was something she was dying to say.

"Well?" I prompted, aware that she was waiting for that last little nudge to speak up already. I had less than five minutes before I would have to go back and face another three hours of training. _Thank God this week is drawing to a near or I would climb up the damn walls. _It was worse than pre-Law. And I didn't think there was _anything_ worse than pre-Law, mostly because I had my finish line in sight but was never able to cross it. I wanted to get into Law School and skip the whole _introduction_ that only wasted my time and energy.

But it was a means to an end so I gritted my teeth and kept on marching on, day after day, until I got what I wanted. _Only to have to crashing down around you, Isabella._ My mind reminded me. My mood soured instantly and I thought it couldn't get any worse.

But it did.

"The only hot single man in our firm that hasn't made it on Tanya's list is Edward." Kate said with a smirk and a gleeful look.

_And there we are, talking about Edward once again._ I gritted my teeth once again and nodded curtly. Who said I had to date someone from the firm, anyway?

_Your heart._ My mind whispered, her crystal clear voice sending shivers up my spine. _Your heart wants Edward. _

But what about my mind? Did it want to surrender control to my heart? Wasn't that foolish?

_Control is only an illusion, Isabella._ My mind whispered back, replying without missing a beat. _It's all just an illusion._

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**AN: Do we like it? Do we hate it? Was it... _meh_? I'd love to know ;)  
**

**Next chapter: Tuesday.**

**\- Violet**


	31. Ch 31 - The wounds of the soul

**AN: Hi, everyone!**

**Sorry for being late with the update but I've been writing and re-writing this chapter for two days now and it's driving me crazy! I still don't like the final shape but meh... if I keep editing this, we'll never get past this chapter!**

**As always, thank you for your words and the time you dedicate to this little story here.**

**Enjoy!**

**PS: Leslie, you're right! I tried adding a little bit more dialogue. Is it better? Please, let me know ;)**

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_"__Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell."  
― __Edna St. Vincent Millay_

BPOV

Thursday morning was full of sunshine and the promise of a new day that had yet to be plagued by dark thoughts of past and future.

I stretched like a cat and basked for a few moments in the silence that filled my room. The guest room had become my room, the place where I spent all my free time. And, to be honest, I really liked it. I liked the dark walls and white curtains, the contrast making everything look crisp and fresh. I liked the fact that it was so different from what the old Bella would have wanted. The contrast between my past and present life was a reminder that things could never go back to the way they had been for 20 years of my life. That chapter of my life was closed.

_If only my mind would also let it go and stop tormenting me with nightmares…_

I sighed and got out of bed, rushed through my morning routine and walked over to the cream leather couch at the foot of my bed where my outfit for the day was waiting, as always.

Today's clothes were a mix of sexy and demure by the looks of it and, for the first time in a very long time, I was actually looking forward to a little dress up. Everyone at the office wore expensive clothes paired with expensive jewelry. I wasn't comfortable with wearing anything else other than my studded diamond earrings but I wanted to make a change. I slipped into the black pencil skirt and tucked in the leopard print washed silk shirt and put on a gold tone coin bracelet on my left wrist. My hair was in a high ponytail and my minimum make-up was in place.

I looked good. I looked like I belonged in Evanson and Platt. _Good!_

Alec whistled as I passed him by to get into the car.

"Are you sure you want to wear that to the office today, Bella?" He asked with raised eyebrows and a playful smile on his lips.

"Yes." I replied and dared him to say more with a raised eyebrow. He backed off instantly, raising his arms in the air, palms facing me.

"Okay. Edward's gonna blow when he'll see all the men eyeing you around there." Alec said with an indifferent shrug but I caught the double meaning of his words. Edward was going to watch out for me. _Did he also do that the past few days?_

I kept silent as we weaved our way through traffic, mulling over Alec's words. My relationship with Edward was up in the air ever since our conversation on Monday and there were no signs of it changing soon.

I had been avoiding him, afraid that we would end up at each other's throats if we were to be left alone in a room and Edward seemed to share my belief. He hadn't visited his parents all week and Emmett wasn't the only one to comment on his arctic attitude. But each time Edward's name came up in a conversation, I excused myself under the motive that I had to study.

I couldn't give a shit less about his attitude.

Edward was keeping a secret that would hurt both parties once the secret will be unraveled. Benjamin would be hurt, alone and humiliated.

_Just like I had been. _

The only difference between me and Benjamin was that my parents had betrayed me, not the love of my life. Oh, and people weren't out to get him.

But the differences stopped there.

My name had been dragged through the mud, just like his would be. His trust in those around him would be broken, just like mine had been. People would avoid him like the plague, just as they would do if they knew the truth about me. And last but not least, he would be broken, just like me. And that's something that doesn't just change overnight, no matter how much you try. I would know.

The floor was empty as I walked down the hall towards my office. Esme had offered to decorate and paint it by Monday so I could have a place to call my own in this building. I tried to decline but she wouldn't hear of it so I had to accept and thank her from the bottom of my heart. We decided on dark blue walls and a mixture of glass and stainless steel furniture. Dark and modern. I couldn't wait.

I dodged out of Edward's way twice. The first time was easy: I turned around and continued to walk until I couldn't see his figure anymore. The second time, it was almost impossible but I ducked my head into my notebook and high tailed out of the floor and into the waiting elevator in under five seconds. Thankfully, he didn't follow me.

_But you did want him to follow. _My mind reminded me as I carefully sipped my hot tea.

Yes, I did want him to say something, to try and explain what was going on through his head but I knew that his pride was getting in the way. Just like mine was. We were quite the pair, it seemed.

"Mind if I join you, Isabella?"

I snapped out of my thoughts and looked into the clear blue eyes of Heidi Evanson who was dressed in an impeccable navy pinstriped suit and her hair was coiffed to perfection. Every inch of her was perfection. Suddenly, I didn't think I looked so good.

"No. Please, have a seat." I said and gestured towards the empty seat in front of me.

She sat down gracefully with her cup of tea and smiled.

"I didn't expect this place to be so packed. The one across the street from the building is usually full and this one is a safe retreat." Heidi said and glanced around. Most of the people around us were from the firm. Heidi smirked but didn't say anything, opting instead to take a sip of her tea.

"It's my favorite place to eat." I replied even though she hadn't asked me anything.

"Mine too." She said, her voice barely above a whisper. "I drag Felix here every chance I get. Speaking of which, how's the training coming along?"

"It's good. I'm having fun."

"Good. At least one of Esme's protégées is having a good time." Heidi said with a smirk.

"Why do you say that?" I replied, confused why she would bring Edward to the table talk.

"Edward's going on a rampage even more than usual."

I frowned.

"More than usual? What does that mean?"

"He's kicking ass left and right and isn't taking any prisoners. He's been more active this past week than the whole month, taking any case that happens to pass by."

I still didn't get it.

"Isn't that a good thing?"

"Oh, it is. For his clients. For whoever stands in his way and doesn't do things his way… it's not so good. Even Kate's ignoring him and I don't think he'll be able to bribe his way out of her wrath with a cup of coffee."

I remembered my talk with Kate the day before and swallowed nervously.

"So, as you can see, I don't mind the extra muscle. I'm worried about the motive behind this sudden eagerness."

I kept silent as Heidi studied my face.

"Isabella, what happened?"

"What makes you think I know?"

"Because the first time me and my husband fought, he locked himself in his office for a week and barked orders at anyone who passed by his office. He immersed himself in his work and who failed to do the same got the tongue lashing of their life. Three people quit that week. See any resemblance here?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

I nodded. "Did anyone quit?"

"Not yet. But Kate's ready to claw his eyes out. Her resignation will soon follow after that happens."

I smirked. I expected nothing else from Kate.

* * *

"Isabella."

Esme's voice rang through the empty living room on my right, scaring the living daylights out of me. I jumped and touched my chest in an attempt to keep my heart from jumping out of my ribcage and onto the floor. She came in the hallways and chuckled.

"I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention to scare you like that." She said with a wink.

I smiled awkwardly.

"It's fine. I wasn't really paying attention to my surroundings." I replied and shrugged.

"I could see that." Esme replied and paused for a few seconds as if she was thinking about something.

"Is everything okay?"

"Of course, dear. I just… wanted to have a little chat with you. Do you mind?" She asked and gestured towards the living room.

_It's not like I can say no_. I thought to myself as I stepped into the room as if an executioner was waiting for me. Maybe there was.

But there was Esme and she could have been both sides of the coin: nice and gentle only to turn mean and ugly. I could only hope that my imagination was getting the best of me. I could only hope that I was wrong. I wanted to be wrong.

"How was your day?" Esme asked, her demeanor relaxed and her whole body a picture of calm.

I took a few seconds to consider my reply.

"It's captivating." I replied with a small smile.

I loved my job and all the hard work that took my mind away from the dangers lurking outside the walls of this house and that office building.

"I take it that you like your position." Esme said as she regarded me with an intense stare. I didn't know what she was looking for, what she hoped to find or if she had found it once she broke her gaze.

"Yes. Thank you, once again, Esme." I said softly as I locked eyes with her. Her brilliant smile was the only answer she gave me for a few minutes. "What did you want to talk about?" I asked once I realized she wasn't going to say anything else.

"Oh… it wasn't anything important." She replied with a flick of her wrist as if it was something so unimportant that it shouldn't even reach my ears.

I mentally shrugged. Maybe it wasn't important and she realized that in the meantime.

"Okay then. I'll go and freshen up and I'll be down to help Carmen prepare dinner." I said and turned to make my way upstairs, to my room.

Esme frowned and that tiny gesture made me stop and wait for something that would have justified her reaction.

"Which reminds me… why haven't you used the pool so far?" She asked and tiled her head to a side, her gaze once again intense and scrutinizing. It made me feel self conscious.

"I… haven't really had time. By the time I'm back here, it's late in the evening and I don't want to bother anyone." I whispered the last part mostly for myself but Esme still caught it. Her eyes narrowed and her lips became two thin lines.

"Isabella, you are my guest here. You are not the cook or the maid or the butler. If that would be the case, I would pay you a salary, just like Eleazar, Carmen and the rest of people working in this house. But you are my guest and I want you to enjoy your stay here. Could you please do that for me?"

There was a note of pleading in her voice, like she was begging me to consider her request. I relented and nodded my approval. Something told me I would have to pick my battles with Mrs. Cullen and I already had experience in that department, thanks to Alice.

Her face brightened.

"Good."

I smiled, thankful that our conversation had reached its end. I had managed to avoid any awkward conversations about Edward and my relationship with him.

"How are you getting along with Alec?"

A genuine smile tugged at the corners of my mouth.

"Good. He's nice to have around. He's careful but doesn't hover."

"I'm glad to hear that. It took us a few hours before we were able to decide on Alec."

"I imagine you had your work cut out for you. I don't think many people wanted to protect the daughter of a dirty cop." I replied with an awkward smile as I thought about my dad.

"Many people wanted to protect the woman who helped Carlisle and that's all that matters." Esme replied with a voice that left nothing up for discussion.

I nodded and looked down at my hands.

We fell in a not-so-awkward silence as I was thinking about everything Esme had just said while she was probably thinking about everything she had _yet_ to say. Esme took a deep breath and took both my hands in hers and squeezed gently. The skin on skin contact soothed me. The only person who touched me was Alice and since my schedule didn't fit hers, we barely got to see each other during the past few days. I focused my attention back on Esme Cullen who was regarding me with an intense stare. I could have sworn she knew what I had been thinking about.

"Isabella, I know this isn't easy for you. Things are… messy. They probably will remain this way for a while. But I also want you to know that we are here for you. That also includes Carlisle. If the past few days have cleared something up it's that you are a very important person in our lives, whether we want to admit it to ourselves or not. You and Alice have become a part of this family and _family _is very important to us."

"Thank you, Esme." I murmured and offered a watery smile. My emotions were all over the place and it was hard to keep them under control when I had so little energy left to keep up the fort. Fighting with my mind each step of the way was so mentally _exhausting_ that, at the end of the day, all I wanted to do was just jump head first into my bed and sleep. But sleep had been evading me, just like I had been evading Edward. It seemed fitting, in a way, but the cost was my mental stability and my emotional health.

I needed sleep. I also needed someone by my side to say a joke or whisper some words of assurance.

I wasn't getting either of those things.

However, I was a little happy that Esme had taken a different route from Kate and Heidi who kept asking me about Edward and telling me that I was responsible for his foul mood.

But my celebration came too early because Esme had yet to speak her mind and when she did… it blew me away.

"My son is a very difficult man. His early childhood wasn't very happy and, sometimes, I still get the feeling that he's trying to change that part of his life even though he's aware that it's impossible. Edward has a hard time connecting to those around him but when he _does_ connect… he does it with his entire heart. Don't forget that, Isabella." She said with a sad smile, no doubt remembering past events that I had yet to know about.

I nodded slowly, trying to figure out what to say and what to do. Edward hadn't told me anything that would make me believe that he had a difficult childhood and I never asked about his past, opting to stay in the present rather than to dig up old wounds that could once again bleed. I found myself wishing to know more about him, about his personality and his way of thinking things through. We are not only the sum of our actions but also of those around us. _I would know._ I was a mess and it had nothing to do with what I had done and everything to do with what my father had done. Was it fair? Was it just? Was it… okay? I didn't think so.

It seemed like Edward was always around, whether I liked it or not, and it wasn't going to change too soon. _Then why are you avoiding him, Isabella?_ My mind asked softly.

_Good question._

Maybe I was avoiding him because I was hurt. Maybe I was avoiding him because I didn't want to get hurt _again_. Maybe I was avoiding him because I was afraid of the _idea_ of being hurt again.

Or, maybe, I was avoiding him because I was falling for him, a man so mysterious and so… reluctant to give anything away. Maybe I was sheltering myself on an instinctual level. But there was also longing deep inside my heart; a longing to have someone close to me, someone who I could trust with both my heart and body.

Was it wrong to wish Edward was that person?

Maybe it was. But the seed had already been planted as soon as his lips touched mine and I was powerless to turn my back on that.

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**AN: Next chapter will feature Jasper! Who's excited?**


	32. Ch 32 - The matchmaker

**AN: Hello, my lovely readers!  
**

**Sorry to keep you waiting. I missed Saturday's deadline and I'm so sorry for that. My most sincere apologies, guys! I keep apologizing over this and you're probably over it but I struggle sometimes with the chapters. I have the general idea and the outline of the story but the individual chapters sometimes give me headaches. I'm still not convinced about this chapter but since I don't have a Beta, there's nothing more I can do at this point... sadly.**

**Thank you all for reading and I hope to see you again on Saturday with a new chapter.**

**Enjoy!**

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_"__I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best."  
― __Marilyn Monroe_

BPOV

For as long as I could remember, I never trusted the opposite sex. The only exception to my rule was my father and it seemed like that was a mistake.

You see, while my mother kept telling me how beautiful and smart I was and how anyone would be lucky to call themselves my _boyfriend_, I remained skeptical. Having a front row seat to all the high school drama kind of makes you look both ways before you open your mouth or even _think_ of opening it. Needless to say, I kept my distance from boys once I saw that there was always something they wanted and rarely thought about returning the favor. College had been more laid back since I wasn't surrounded by people I knew my entire life. We all minded our own business and that suited me just fine. So one could easily see why I never had a _boy _friend. Better said, the only friend that I _did_ have was Alice and she was more than enough.

However, in order to better understand what the right step forward was, I would need all the help I could get. That also meant _male_ advice.

As I walked in the kitchen Friday morning, dressed in a black pleated stretch cotton skirt and a short sleeve white chiffon blouse paired with two tone leather pointed flats and my studded diamond earrings, I spotted Jasper sitting at the breakfast bar, reading the newspaper. I looked around for Carmen or Eleazar but came up empty handed. This was new.

_Where is everyone?_

I mentally shrugged and glanced at Jasper. He was looking at me as I prepared my tea and moved around the kitchen like it was mine.

"Good morning." I said as I sat down on the other side of the breakfast bar and took a big mouthful of tea. Hot black tea… my favorite.

"Morning'!" Jasper drawled and shot me a small smile.

"Where is everyone?" I asked a minute later. I was getting used to Carmen having breakfast with me each morning and the change left a strange feeling in my gut.

"Carmen has the flu or something like that. It's every man for himself today." Jasper replied with a shrug as he took a sip of his coffee.

_Oh. _

"I see. You wanna eat something?" I asked as I made my way to the fully stocked fridge.

"You cook?"

I raised an eyebrow and cocked my head to the side as I looked over to Jasper with a look that said _'I asked, didn't I?'_

"Just checking. I do not want some food poisoning. My students would send you a gift basket." He said as he threw his hands in the air, palms facing me.

I laughed at the idea of getting something from his students because I'd kept Jasper away from his class for a few days.

"Omelet?" I asked as I gathered the ingredients to make myself one. He nodded.

"So I take it that you're far too passionate about history to keep in mind that you're teaching it to teenagers who are far more interested in the latest tweets than what happened almost a century ago." I said as I whisked the ingredients together in a small bowl.

"I'm not that bad." Jasper defended himself with a smirk on his lips. _Yeah, right._ I shot him a look that said exactly what I thought about his weak defense and he grinned in return. It was a nice kind of banter that I never really had with a guy before. Being a single child isn't as glamorous as it looks, not when you're so lonely at the end of the day.

I quickly made two omelets as Jasper washed a few tomatoes and cucumbers and sliced them.

"This is so good!" Jasper moaned as he took a bite and looked like he was in heaven. "Don't tell Carmen I said that, though." He added as a second thought. "And don't tell Emmet you can cook. He'd probably kidnap you. Rose isn't much of a cook."

I smiled and nodded and we settled into a comfortable silence as we finished off our breakfast.

"What brings you by so early?" I asked Jasper as we were cleaning up the table.

"I don't have classes in the morning and I… I wanted to see Alice."

I smiled, urging him on.

"I um… I want to take her out on a date…" Jasper trailed off as he rubbed the back of his neck and looked anywhere but me.

_Someone's embarrassed…_

"And you wanted to talk to me and come up with a good idea for a first date." I finished for him with a smile.

"Something like that." Jasper replied with a smile of his own.

"It depends on how you want things to go. The setting will determine how Alice will behave. If you want to talk, take her somewhere nice and quiet. If you want her to shut up, take her to a club and she'll dance the night away. Anything else?"

He gaped at me for a few seconds before he broke into a smile and shook his head.

"Thank you, Isabella."

"Please, call me Bella. Isabella is for people who don't plan on dating my best friend." I replied with a wink. "I'd love to stay and chat but I don't have the morning off like other people." I teased him and winked. "Get her flowers. No roses and no candy unless you want her on a sugar rush. And, trust me, you don't." I said and finished my rant with a stern look.

"I'll keep that in mind, thanks."

"You're very welcome." I threw over my shoulder as I made my way to Alec's car.

"Bella!" Jasper called and I turned around just in time to see him take the last few steps in my direction. He pulled me into a tight hug and I awkwardly hugged him and patted his back.

"Talk to him." Jasper whispered in my hair.

I froze. He let me go and looked straight into my eyes.

"He may be an asshole sometimes but he cares about you." He said and I rolled my eyes. "Trust me, I saw the way he looked at you on Sunday dinner. He likes you and, right now, he's kicking himself for not being a little more attentive towards you. Make this right with him."

The sincerity in Jasper's voice had my body in full lockdown and my brain going 100 miles per hour.

He grabbed my shoulders gently and held me at arm's length as he gave me time to process his words.

"Why are you telling me this?" I asked him as I thought back to the day Esme introduced us and the look of pity he threw me as I sat on the couch next to him.

It didn't make sense. My presence in this house was not the best thing for the Cullen's even though I gave Carlisle important information that was not easy to find.

"You're family now, Bella." Jasper said as if he had just read my mind and saw all the doubts that were plaguing me. "Have a good day, Bella."

"You too." I replied absently as his words kept going round in circles inside my head. I felt bad for avoiding Edward since, according to Jasper, he was feeling bad about our Monday fight. But then, he didn't seek me out all week. He could have come to my office at lunch and keep me there until he said his piece of mind. But he didn't. He avoided me just as much as I avoided him.

_Aren't you the pair?_ My mind asked, a sarcastic edge to her voice.

Yes, we were.

* * *

Friday was my last day of training which meant a lot of things needed to be stuffed inside my head so I could perform at full capacity starting Monday.

Felix proved to be an excellent mentor. He knew when to push and when to back off and let me process everything he said. Little by little, I had grasped all the concepts I would have to apply in each case my help was needed. Deep down, I was a little intimidated by all the things I had seen in the last few weeks but I had come to realize that it all served a purpose.

Living in the past was not a good strategy, no matter how tempting it was. However, when it came down to my relationship with Edward, I _was _living in the past. I was allowing recent scars to remain open and Edward was currently paying the price for that. Deep down, I knew it wasn't a good policy but feelings rarely listened to reason and my feelings had been deeply hurt by those I trusted with my life.

_But they are dead, Isabella._ My mind whispered.

I was constantly reminding myself of that _little_ fact but I always came back to square one at the first bump in the road.

"Bella! Just who I was looking for!" Kate shouted as I was heading towards my office to retrieve my bag and go for lunch. "Don't you look preppy?" She said as we fell in step.

"Thanks." _I guess._ I mentally added. "You look good too."

Kate was her usual stunning self in a dark purple number with capped sleeves, her hair a perfect mess and her priceless make-up. It made me a little uncomfortable as well as under-dressed.

"Do you want to hang out with us tonight?"

"Hang out with you?" I asked, a little confused. Who was _us?_

"Yeah. Me and the rest of the people on the floor. We usually get together for a drink on Friday after work. A little team building, if you wanna call it that." She added with a wink.

"I'm underage." I threw at her.

"Drink soda." Kate threw back at me without missing a beat.

"I don't think it's a good idea." I said and rummaged through my bag in search of my wallet.

"Drinking soda or going out with us?" Kate fired back with a smirk. _Damn, she's good._

"The latter." I replied as I locked eyes with her.

"We're not going to take a bite out of you. It's just a couple of hours, tops. It's a good opportunity for you to meet people at the office and get acquainted before Monday rolls in."

_When you put it that way…_

"Okay." I said and closed my eyes.

"6 PM. Downstairs lobby."

I looked at her retreating form, already doubting my decision. The old Bella would have jogged to Kate and excused herself. The new Bella would see what the fuss was about.

Decision set in place, I made my way out of the building and in the coffee shop to put something in my growling stomach. I would worry about tonight later. _If I have time._

* * *

At 5:30, Alec came into my office with a big shopping bag and a smirk. I had just finished my _training_ with Felix and my office seemed like the best place to hide until I would have to go downstairs and be a good sport for a few hours. I was so exhausted that I was a minute away from falling asleep in my desk chair. _And it's a very uncomfortable chair!_

"Bella, Alice sent you this. And this note." He said as he handed me the bag and a tiny sealed envelope.

"Thank you." I said with a smile and Alec turned around to leave. "Wait! Are you coming with us?" I asked him as soon as he stopped and turned around to face me once again.

"Oh… no. I have been relieved of my duties. See you Monday, Bella."

And he was off, leaving me frowning in his wake. Deciding that I had should read Alice's note and put on whatever she sent me, I opened the envelope.

_Dear Bella,_

_Wear this tonight. _

_And thank you for talking to Jasper._

_See you tomorrow!_

_Alice._

_PS: I feel like your fairy Godmother!_

I smiled, put the note in my bag and peered inside the shopping bag where a pair of dark grey super skinny jeans, a lighter grey tank top as well as a black blazer were waiting for me. But what made my eyes pop were the shoes. Black, studded platform booties stared back at me as if I was being challenged to wear them. In a way, I guess I was. To go or not to go? I said _fuck it_ and made my way to the ladies room where I quickly changed into my _costume._ The person staring back at me in the mirror did _not_ look like me. She was sexy in a very demure way. No cleavage showing, no heavy make-up to draw attention to my eyes, no jewelry to scream money but there was this allure, this… glow that I rarely saw when I looked at myself in the mirror. She was slim, with legs going on for days thanks to the deathtraps on her feet and the soft curls of her hair toned down the _bad girl_ outfit.

It was perfect.

As I exited the washroom, I noticed that I was the last person left on the floor. I quickly made my way back into my office where I dropped the bag with my earlier outfit and grabbed my satchel.

I rode alone in the elevator and played with the key attached to the bag. I was nervous.

Once the elevator pinged, I started rummaging through my bag for my phone to let Kate know that I was in the lobby. Someone cleared their throat and I was suddenly staring into Edward Masen's burning eyes. He wasn't alone but he was the only person I could focus on.

Dressed in a dark charcoal suit and a light blue shirt, no tie, Edward looked absolutely _edible._ I was lost in pools of burning emerald that had my skin breaking in goose bumps. His stare was so intense I could almost feel it on my skin as his eyes traveled down my body, taking inch by inch of my outfit. I shuffled my feet under his scrutinizing gaze.

_Is it just me or did it just get hot in here?_

"Finally!" Kate shouted and broke the spell.

We stepped out of the building and piled into a few cabs so we could get to some hip lounge that Kate wouldn't stop talking about the _entire_ ride. Truthfully, I couldn't focus on her words because Edward was riding in the back with me and his leg was touching mine. It sent sparks up my entire body.

The lounge proved to be quite nice. The music was good. The drinks kept on flowing and the people were getting drunker by the minute. I met a few new people and listened to their jokes as if it was the most interesting thing I had heard all day. It wasn't but I played the part of the perfect co-worker so no one would bitch about me not paying attention. But in the back of my mind, I was aware of each breath and sip of whiskey Edward took.

An hour later, I excused myself to the ladies room to freshen up.

As soon as I stepped out, a pair of hands circled my waist and drew me up to a hard chest. I didn't have time to say anything because as soon as Edward's cologne filled my lungs, I was done for. I melted into his embrace and bit back a whimper. His body heat was so intense and he was breathing hard, filling my head with his scent. I turned around and stared at him, ready to give him a piece of my mind for scaring me like that but the words died in my throat.

Edward crushed his lips to mine, taking no prisoners. I gasped and he took this as an opportunity to shove his tongue inside my mouth. I moaned at the taste of him and grabbed a handful of his silky hair, raking my nails on his scalp. His growl made my abdomen clench. His hands parted my thighs and he settled between my legs, trapping me between his solid body and the wall behind me. We kissed for god knows how long before we came up for air.

"Someone could see us." I whispered as soon as I gathered my wits and attempted to push him away but Edward only pushed further and stilled my movements.

"I don't give a fuck who sees us." He replied, his voice husky and hoarse. "In fact, I'd be very happy if the fuckers see that you're_ not_ available." He spit through clenched teeth.

I looked into his eyes, the green almost gone due to his very dilated pupils.

"What are you talking about?" I inquired with furrowed brows.

"All week, men have been trailing after that delectable ass of yours. And don't get me started on your Thursday outfit!" He breathed out as if he was in pain just by remembering my choice of clothes on Thursday. I bit my lip. "I may be an idiot, I may be an insensitive jerk, I may be whatever you wanna throw at me but you… you're _mine_, Isabella Marie Swan!"

All air left my lungs.

* * *

**AN: Sooo... what do you think?**

**PS: Would you like an EPOV in the next chapter? Anyone curious to see what's been going in inside Edward's head this past week? Let me know ;)**


	33. Ch 33 - The anger

**AN: Hello, everyone!**

**So this update is a day late but it's aprox. 9 pages long to make up for the delay. Am I forgiven? *flutters eyelashes***

**I hope you like it!**

**Oh, and by the way, I've been replying to comments. Have any of you received them? 'Cause I haven't received any replies...**

**Thank you all for your comments and I would also like to thank all of the guests who took the time to say a few words as well (Leslie included). I'm really happy when I read what you guys think of this. It's the only reason why I'm posting in the first place ;) Sooo... more comments equals longer and faster updates. However, it's not like I'm gonna abandon this story if you guys don't comment. That won't happen. BUT, when someone comments and they tell me if I'm doing it right or wrong or if they want to see something specific happen, the story just... _blooms_ inside my head and I get various leads on how to continue. Basically, it's not about the _number_ of comments. It's about the ideas that come when I read those comments. Does that make any sense? I hope so :)**

**Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

_"__The thing about change is that it creeps up behind you up until the point when you can no longer avoid seeing it in the mirror, staring back at you."_

_– __Unknown_

EPOV

To say that my conversation with Bella hasn't left its mark on me would be the biggest lie of the fucking century! I am literally one second away from going out there and dragging her back in here so we can finish this conversation. Is she jealous? Is that why she's questioning my actions? I get close to her and this shit happens!

_Or maybe you just remind her of the secrets she wasn't a part of until Charlie died._

Fuck!

My mood has taken a whole 180 and I'm literally pacing around just to blow off some steam! And when I think that this is about Tanya and I could have avoided it by simply keeping my mouth shut! Why did I have to tell her that Tanya has been offering herself on a plate for me? Oh yeah, because of the 'no secrets' policy that I wanted with her. I wanted to be honest with her, considering everything that happened because Charlie hadn't said anything for more than ten years and it culminated with his death.

_Well, that backfired..._

I spend the rest of the day in a mood Kate rarely sees and I'm pissing her off each time I open my mouth to complain about something but I couldn't really give a shit less. I pay her salary and she's supposed to be on my side and get everything done in a fucking second if that's what I want.

"Where are you going, Kate?" I ask her just as I'm about to walk out of my office and head straight for Bella's.

"To lunch and to do some damage control." Kate replies with a raised eyebrow, daring me to bitch about her leaving her desk for an hour.

I wisely keep my mouth shut and nod. Girls bond over coffee and shit like that… right?

"You want anything?"

"A sandwich or something." I mumble and go back to the file on my desk that I should focus on instead of thinking about the hurt in Bella's eyes when I asked if she was done lecturing me about ethics. I have abandoned ethics a long time ago when it came down to dealing with shitty people.

"Sure thing, boss."

* * *

"Why is Kate scowling like that?"

Emmett's voice makes me look up from a life I've been going over for the last half an hour. _At least._ And I still can't go past the second line of this fucking petition!

_I think I would be more successful if I were to read Chinese than this._

"What?" I ask and turn my attention back at the document in front of me. I need a paralegal to deal with this shit but that's impossible since Bella's still in training. _And even if she wasn't, you still couldn't man up and go talk to her._

"I said, why is Kate scowling like that?"

"I don't know. She may have said something about David from Accounting but it's not like I give a shit who she fancies. Plus, he's a manwhore. Worse than you back in the day." I say as I look up from my file.

"What?"

"I know, right? I didn't think there could be anyone worse than you." I add with a smirk and his eyes narrow. "What do you want, Emmett? I'm kinda busy right now."

I push the papers aside and fold my hands in my lap. I need a new chair! My back is killing me!

"You're always busy. And annoying." He replies with a flat voice. "Let's go out tonight."

"I can't. I have court tomorrow and I need to be on top of my game." I say and go back to studying the papers in front of me even though it's a lost cause by now.

"Pffff... all right." He says and pushes away from the sofa he had been sitting on.

"Is Rose starting to wear you off?" I tease him and he stops dead in his tracks.

"As a matter of fact, no. She's on call and I'm bored. The boys can't go out for some ball... I thought we could have some bro time but you're busy. No wonder half the office is trailing after the delectable Miss Swan." He mutters the last part but I still hear his words loud and clear.

"What?!"

"I said, no wonder half of the office is trailing after Isabella. At least she takes her lunch break and actually talks to people instead of ignoring them! Bro, snap out of it before someone steals your girl."

"She's not my girl." I mutter like a petulant child.

"E, get your head out of your ass before I do that for you! That girl is the best thing that could have happened to you. She's gorgeous, smart _and_ nice. If you let her get away, you're the biggest idiot on this planet!" he shouts into my face.

I think back to Jacob's confession and my body turns rigid.

"We got into a fight, okay?" I say through clenched teeth.

"So what? It's not the end of the fucking world! You so some groveling, promise not to do that shit again and that's it. It's not fucking rocket science!"

"I don't know, Em..."

"Oh, stop with the fucking brooding! It's good that she doesn't put up with all of your shit. So, what did you do?"

I glare at him for a few seconds before I tell him about Bella and Tanya and the damn recordings. Emmett's jaw hits the floor and it doesn't look like he's in any condition to pick it up. I sigh. _I'm an idiot._ No wonder she's probably avoiding me like the plague.

I abandon the stack of papers on my desk and get up to pace some around my office. I need to go to the fucking gym and blow off some steam before I say or do something I'll really regret.

"Look, I know I fucked up and I know I'm supposed to make it all better but, right now, I've got an important case and I need to focus on this."

Emmett raises both his eyebrows but doesn't comment. He gets off from the chair in front of my desk and makes his way to the door.

"What were they saying?" I ask even though it goes against every cell in my body. I know I'm gonna regret asking this but curiosity got the better of me.

"That she's hot and single." He replies with a smirk and leaves me fuming in his wake. _Fuck!_

_Curiosity killed the cat!_

* * *

Wednesday turns out to be a fucking fiasco. My trainer dumps me in the middle if the session because of a personal issue and I end up punching the daylights out of the bag just because I had too much pent up frustration to face anyone at this hour. _And it's only 6AM. _I need a vacation!

To be completely honest, Emmett's words still ring in my ears. The fucker's right but I can tell him that or else his ego will be bigger than him. And it's big enough as it is.

_Maybe I should talk to mom. _

I banish the thought almost instantly. She's gonna get ideas and start planning baby showers and Bella will probably be freaked out and go running for the hills and never speak to me again. Not that she's speaking to me right now but that shit can't last forever... right?

Her outfit for today is simple and classy. It suits her to a T and I constantly find myself looking around in hopes of seeing her. She's like the sun, smiling at everyone and making them feel good in her presence. She has this allure about her that just draws people in and all it takes is a smile and they're goners. To top it all off, she's isn't even aware of her 'ability' and often shies away from compliments. _And I'm watching her from the cover of darkness like the creepy stalker in the movies_. I've lost my fucking mind! And Kate's smirk when she comes back from her lunch with Bella makes me want to strangle her.

_Breathe, Edward!_

I glance at my watch. I need to get out of here before I murder someone.

* * *

Thursday is purgatory and it has nothing to do with my job and everything to do with Bella and her outfit.

If I see one more fucker ogling her ass, I'm gonna beat him to a fucking pulp!

Alec shot me a text as soon as they reached the building and warned me that Bella would be the center of attention but I sure as hell wasn't expecting this. To top it all off, Jacob Black is in my office, shooting daggers at me like I'd killed his puppy or some shit like that.

"I don't have time for you today, agent Black."

This fucker's presence is getting on my nerves and they're already stretched to the limit.

"I don't care. The last time I was here and begged you to tell me where Isabella was, you blew me off. And a few days later, I find out she's staying at your house."

"Carlisle's house." I correct him with a flat tone of my voice.

"I don't give a shit whose house! I asked you and you said you didn't know. You _lied._" He screams and points his finger in my direction.

"Sue me." I say with a smirk and take a sip of my coffee as I watch him over the rim of my cup.

His hands ball into fists and his breathing is labored. He's seconds away from exploding. So am I. But, unlike the idiot standing in front of me, I know better than to show all my cards. I may be angry about this whole debacle and I'm not one to have my temper under control _all _the time but I know when to keep my poker face on and my mouth shut. Apparently, the puppy in front of me has missed that training and he's about to get a crash course.

"Lying to a federal agent is a felony, Mr. Masen." He spits through clenched teeth.

"What case are we talking about? The one where you're in love with a woman who's never going to love you back?" I ask and raise an eyebrow as I cross my arms in front of my chest.

"Isabella Swan is a part of an investigation."

"Really? Is this about that case where you were supposed to protect her father and you failed… _miserably_? By the way, does she know that? Does she know that you fed her father on a silver platter to a few mobsters who wanted to kill him so they could shut him up?"

He pales. _Of course you didn't, you filthy rat!_

"You want to see Miss Swan? Let me get her for you so you can tell her all about this… _investigation._" I say with a finger poised to call Kate and tell her to get Bella in here. I'm bluffing, of course. I don't want Black to see her even if she were dressed in a fucking burlap sack, let alone that sexy outfit in which she's strutting down the lobby. _But he doesn't know that._

"No!" he shouts and I halt my movement. I raise an eyebrow and wait for it. "Don't call her."

"Is that an official request, agent Black? I wouldn't want to get in the way of an important investigation." I taunt him further.

He's silent.

"Well?" I prompt and he falls onto the leather couch across the room and buried his face in his hands.

Sensing that it's gonna take a while for him to get himself under control, I continue to enjoy my coffee and pastry as if I don't have a care in the world. On the inside, however, I'm fuming. Black's presence and demands make me want to kill him with my bare hands and get this shit over with. _Who the fuck does he think he is, coming here like he owns the fucking place and screaming at me like I'm one of his minions?_

"You like her."

His voice breaks me out of my thoughts and I almost choke on my coffee. D_idn't see that one coming..._

"Well?" He prompts while locking eyes with me.

"I'm sorry. Was that a question?" I sneer at him.

"Do you like her?" Black asks with a rigid jaw and narrowed eyes as if that could _ever_ intimidate me. As always, he's all bark and no bite but I decide to play his petty game for a little while longer just to see what this is _really_ about.

"Yes."

His jaw clenches.

"Did you fuck her?"

"No." _Not yet. But when I do, it'll be more than just a fuck._ I add silently as I study Black's body language. The slight slump of his shoulders tells me that he's relieved and I guess it's a normal reaction when you like someone and want to be with them. But even if I wasn't in the picture, Black still couldn't touch Bella. Carlisle will make sure of that if it's the last thing he'll ever do. He hates Black with a passion – even more than I do and that's saying something.

"Is it because of what I've told you the last time we met?"

"I'm not following."

"I told you that I'm in love with her."

"Your point?"

_My patience is reaching its limits._

"My point is that I've told you how I feel about her. You knew why I was willing to go to hell and back for her and now you tell me you like her."

"You keep deluding yourself with the idea that you and Isabella have a future. You don't. She's a Cullen now. She's chosen her side and she's off limits so back the fuck off!" I say with a chilling voice that has Black swallowing nervously. S_tupid dog!_

"Tell me, how did Aro react when he figured out that Isabella gave Carlisle all the information Charlie Swan had as an insurance policy? Why hasn't your head rolled yet? Or did Billy fight tooth and nail to keep you in your office?" I ask Black and watch him closely for a reaction. He doesn't let anything slip. _Oh well, I had to give that a try..._ I think and mentally shrug.

From my conversations with Carlisle, Aro blew up and several people who were supposed to keep an eye on Jenks and Bella have lost their jobs. Aro lost the only thing he could have gotten out of Charlie's death _and_ he lost Charlie thanks to Black's idiocy. And yet, here he is, standing in all his pride and glory, flashing his badge like he's earned it the hard way and not by kissing everyone's ass while his father, Billy Black, covers his back.

Aro's reaction was the primary reason for getting Alec to keep an eye on Bella and take a bullet for her, if necessary.

Suddenly, it all clicks into place.

If Aro couldn't get his hands on those papers, Jacob, due to his prior contact with Bella, became essential in winning her trust and getting those papers back. But they didn't take into consideration the fact that Esme would like Bella and want her protected at all times, from _anyone, _so now Jacob can't come near her. They didn't take into consideration that Bella would _want_ Carlisle's help and support.

"I think your time is up, agent Black. I have important things to do."

"I want to see Isabella."

"Do you now? You want to _confess_ and beg for her forgiveness?"

He storms out of my office and Kate simply shrugs when I look at her.

* * *

Bella's outfit has every fucker within a ten feet radius panting and with a hard on!

We are at the lounge Kate chose and I'm watching her like a hawk. She changed her outfit and I thought nothing could beat that short black pleated skirt but it seems that I was wrong. Those tight jeans and those _fuck me_ boots are even better than the preppy outfit she sported all day. And don't even get me started on that grey tank top that leaves nothing to imagination. The white blouse she wore all day wasn't fitted enough to show her flat abdomen and ample chest but this tank top is like a fucking beacon. I can't keep my eyes away and I know for a fact that I'm not the only one but she seems oblivious to the whole thing.

She's laughing to some stupid joke but it isn't genuine. Her eyes don't sparkle and the corners of her eyes don't crinkle. She's pretending and I should take pride in the fact that I know her so good but I don't. After everything she's been through, she deserves better. She deserves to speak her mind and shove away any dick that she doesn't want in her proximity. But she's vulnerable so she builds these high walls that I can't seem to climb just so she can keep people away. In spite of my best efforts, there's still a part of Bella that has yet to let go of her grief and the existence of that part is what makes her so angry at me. It's not like Benjamin is her best friend. I'm sure that if she were to meet him on the street or in a coffee shop and talk to him for two minutes, she wouldn't give him a second thought after their conversation would be finished. But the situation is different. She sees him as a victim. I supposed he is, in a way. Then again, aren't we all victims, one way or another?

I know Bella and each tiny gesture that she makes. However, that's a small comfort when every man around me has his eyes set on her. They don't care if her smile is genuine or if she's comfortable or if she wants to get out of here. All they care about is getting into her pants. _It's pissing me off!_ Now I know why Carlisle keeps Esme away from the meetings he has to preside. Not that Esme would volunteer but still… it's unusual for a capo to be without his wife at those meetings.

Bella excuses herself to go to the washroom and I take a moment to look around. Kate discreetly tilts her chin in Bella's direction, encouraging me to make my move. I rise from my seat and see Bella just as she comes out of the washroom.

I wrap my hands around her and drew her up to my chest, inhaling her scent and trying my best not to get a hard on. She freezes for a second and then melts into my embrace as if she recognized my touch. _One can only hope!_

I waste no time and turn her around before crushing my lips to hers, eager to taste her sweet mouth. Her gasp of surprise is my opportunity to taste her and I do that instantly. Her hands attach themselves to my scalp and she moans. The combination of her sweet sounds, the smell of her hair and her scent makes my dick twitch. I press her into the wall and settle between her legs, forcing her to wrap them around my waist. I pour all my frustration, anger, lust and everything in between into the kiss and it's amazing! My body is on fire and it takes everything I have not to crush her to my chest, crawl inside her and never let go.

"Someone could see us." She whispers as soon as she gathers her wits and attempts to push me away but I only push further and still her movements. I don't want to let her go. I don't want her to go back to those fuckers so they can ogle her some more. I want to take her to my place and beg on my knees for another chance, for forgiveness and anything that could make this all go away.

"I don't give a fuck who sees us." I reply. "In fact, I'd be very happy if the fuckers see that you're_ not_ available." Just the thought of _David_ sneaking sly glances at her sets my teeth on edge.

I look into her eyes, expecting to see fury and anger but her gaze is soft, calming. I take a deep breath and focus on getting control over my body once again. It's not easy.

"What are you talking about?" She asks with furrowed brows and bites that plump lips. I suppress a growl. I want to bite that lip so fucking bad!

"All week, men have been trailing after that delectable ass of yours. And don't get me started on your Thursday outfit!" I say and bite back a whimper as I think back to that tight black skirt that had all the male population panting. _And don't get me started on those heels!_

"I may be an idiot, I may be an insensitive jerk, I may be whatever you wanna throw at me but you… you're _mine_, Isabella Marie Swan!" I say through clenched teeth.

She looks stunned so I continue before she has a chance of pushing me away or before someone comes this way.

"Bella, I'm sorry. I should have known that the…_ situation_ with Benjamin and Tanya would bring skeletons out in the daylight. I wasn't thinking. I have a few bones to pick with Tanya and those recordings are my leverage. I don't give a shit about Benjamin or the blindfold that's over his eyes. Blind is the man who does not want to see, Bella. But, if you want, I can give him everything and be done with it." I say as I lock eyes with her so she can see my sincerity.

"Edward…" she breathes out my name and _fuck me_ if it's not the sexiest thing I've ever heard. "Right now, I don't give a shit about Tanya or Benjamin. Get me out of here."

Her husky voice, laced with lust and desire knocks the breath out of me. I nod and release her from the confines of my body, keeping a firm grip on her upper arms so she can regain her balance before I grab her hand and take us both back to our _coworkers _so she can say goodbye.

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**AN: I added the conversation with Jacob in the last possible moment before posting this and I'm not really happy with it but... I guess it's the best I could do right now... **

**Sooo... what do you guys think about Edward's point of view? Let me know ;)**

**PS: Should we have a lemon in the next chapter?**


	34. Ch 34 - The guilt

**Hello, everyone!**

**Guess who's back?**

**Here is the most recent chapter. Hope you enjoy it!**

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"Every man is guilty of all the good he did not do."

\- Voltaire

Dealing with loss isn't as easy as it might seem at first sight. You don't grieve or mourn or cry and wait for it to pass. I know some people say it gets easier, that it gets less painful, that time heals. Time is supposed to do everything: make feelings stronger, make pain bearable, make memories pleasant and everything in between.

The truth is… time doesn't do shit.

Time doesn't help. It doesn't make anything better, easier, or less painful. It just continues to flow… like that sand in the hourglass, slipping and piling away, far from your reach.

An abstract notion that time will take care of everything and set everything right is nothing but a load of crap.

When someone close to you dies, a part of you is torn from your body, ripped away, never to return. Your soul will continue to miss that person even after ten years, even when you no longer feel the need to cry over their death. The loss is still there: when you smile, when you go about your daily routine, keeping yourself busy because not being busy would mean more time to think about things that should be left alone. It's funny, in a way. We spend all this time trying to get over our loss, trying to convince ourselves that time will be on our side, that things will get better… when we know, deep down, we're only lying to ourselves. We're only prolonging something that has an ending within sight. We're only delaying the inevitable.

_The crash._

We've all been there. We've all experienced that moment in time when we could have sworn that the worst had passed. That we were okay. That we were_ going_ to be okay. That we had come to terms with our loss. That we had to move on. But it takes a fraction of a second for all of it go to hell. All the efforts, all the careful planning, all the avoidance… means nothing when you find yourself unable to deal with the sudden reappearance of that feeling of loss.

In my case, it started the moment Edward took me out of that lounge. The moment I set foot out of that place and the cold air slapped my face, I froze.

My muscles refused to move. I know it's stupid to say it now but it felt like my body no longer wanted to do what my brain told it to do. I was cut in half. My brain wanted. My body refused.

"Bella?"

Edward's voice brought me out of my stupor but I was still glued to the pavement, glued to the spot where my muscles had abandoned me. _Snap out of it, Bella!_

I looked up and found his intense green eyes staring at me but I couldn't focus on that. I couldn't focus on the fact that not even five minutes ago, I was willing to go to his place and take it from there and now… now I couldn't even make myself move from this spot.

All I could focus on was the empty feeling inside me, begging to be felt, begging to be acknowledged. And I was acknowledging it even though every cell in my body was fighting it. My parents were in their graves and here I was, not even a month later, acting as if nothing had happened. Acting as if my only goal in life was to get laid. Acting as if their deaths hadn't ripped me open.

Tears clouded my vision. I felt horrible. I felt like I was disappointing them.

"Hey…" Edward whispered as he pulled me into a tight embrace. "What's wrong?" He mumbled into my hair as I struggled to keep my breaths even and get a grip over my emotions.

Many things were wrong. He knew it. I knew it. We just chose to ignore them. But you can only ignore a problem for so long before it crawls up behind you and you're faced with it regardless of your choice. And it seemed like my time to face the truth had come a little earlier than anticipated.

"I can't…" I whispered and squeezed my eyes shut, willing memories and scents and feelings as far as I could. It wasn't far enough though. Death's memory had already wrapped its chilly bones around my body, keeping me locked in place as various images played before my eyes. I breathed in deeply and tried to further explain. "I want to go home."

I wanted to say more but was unable. Too many thoughts were going through my head and I couldn't just pick one. I could feel his head nodding but I refused to peer up at him through my bangs. Visual contact would have meant that he would have seen my red rimmed and teary eyes and I wanted to avoid that.

It's not that I wanted to hide form Edward. In the two weeks that I had known him, he had been nothing but attentive towards me. Sure, he was careless and sometimes even callous with his words and actions but when things got serious, I knew I would have him in my corner, ready to back me up and save the day. He always gave me this feeling that he would be there no matter what and that was a quality that I had yet to find in the many people who used to surround me. But seeing the hurt written all over my face would have meant questions and attempts at making me feel better and that was something I wanted to avoid.

I needed to learn to suffer, to experience loss and just… _feel _it. Not deflect it. Not busy myself with something, anything, else so as not to think about them.

I needed to work my way through the pain, not pretend like it wasn't there.

"Okay."

One word from his mouth and I was breathing a little easier knowing that he understood and accepted my change of plans. It meant a lot because the only other person who could have understood me was Alice and she was way too busy for me to come and ask for some time and attention.

Knowing that Alice was the only other person in my corner was a sobering thought.

I hadn't really stopped to think about the fact that I had a hard time making friends. The only people I had allowed to get close to me were my parents and Alice. And since my parents had died… I guess one could say that Alice was my last hope. But then Edward came and my world was painted in colors I never thought were possible. He became more than a friend, more than a man I was attracted to, more than anything I could have ever though.

Yes, I was attracted to Edward Anthony Masen. Yes, I knew something dark surrounded him. It was etched deep within his features, a sadness that always had to be covered up with something. However, it was there and I knew that he could understand my need for silence, my need for space and personal boundaries because of it. It was an unspoken agreement that gave way to a form of intimacy I had yet to feel with anyone else.

Then again, it wasn't like I had the opportunity to experiment it with anyone else before. Maybe I had been setting people up for failure when it came down to me. God only knows just how hard to deal with I am sometimes! There are moments when I even surprise myself.

"Bella, what happened?"

We were in the cab, the driver changing stations as he tried to find something to his liking. The streets were filled with people out to have some fun on a Friday night or to just go home and get some rest after a tiring week.

"I can't explain it." I found myself answering without even thinking the words. "I just… need to be alone." _So you can cry yourself to sleep and finally feel something, huh? _My subconscious snapped at me while I did my best to keep my emotions as far away from my face as possible.

His eyes narrowed as he looked me over for a few moments. I wheeled myself to stare back at him, aware that breaking eye contact would mean another reason to talk about my feelings and emotions and everything that I had been trying to control over the past couple of weeks. I was not going to ruin all that hard work in a few thoughtless minutes.

The rest of the drive was spent in silence.

The rest of the week was spent in my room, locked away from the outside world, trapped inside my head, thinking, remembering and just plowing through the pain that had taken over me.

Under the excuse that I was exhausted, I laid all Saturday and Sunday in my room, crying my heart out and occasionally stopping only to stare at the ceiling.

Truth be told, I had been mourning my parents through every little thing that I did. I tried to play it off, tried to lie to myself, tried to delay the inevitable but the truth had always been there, waiting for me to open the door and let it in.

And now, I had opened the door, letting the pain and misery feel right at home.

The others didn't get it.

Alice tried to get me out of the room with the promise of some serious shopping. Needless to say, it didn't work.

Esme tried to get me out of the room by asking for my advice about a couple of things that concerned the incoming party she was throwing for Edward's birthday.

Even Rosalie Hale stopped by on Sunday but I made no move to get out of my room and greet her.

The only people who left me alone were Edward, Carlisle and Carmen.

I think, in a way, they could understand why I would feel the need to shut the outside world away and get lost inside my own world. I was grateful for that.

The next five days were spent working myself to the bone. If anyone in the firm needed something, be it a simple reference to some old case that could have settled a precedent, the address of some local deli or a simple photocopy, I was there to help.

I brought reports and a few articles to Caius.

I helped Mike review an old case that was similar to the one he was currently working on.

I helped Kate find a nice place to order food from for lunch.

I did everything within my power to occupy my time and focus on anything other than the gaping hole that my chest had become.

It was hard.

It was a battle that stripped me of my last shred of energy by the end of the day. And, yet, I did it all over again the next day. Day after day, I worked, went home and cried, then fell asleep. It became a routine that I followed to the letter, soon becoming my way of coping with the situation I had found myself in.

Was it a good routine? No. Was it the only one I could find? Yes.

But all good things don't last forever, as I soon found out.

It was Friday and I was walking back from my lunch break which I had spent with Mike, pouring over some bank statements needed for his case. I had always been good with numbers while Mike, I soon found out, would have rather read Chinese. So I helped him work his way through sheets upon sheets of numbers and found out in the process that Mike was actually a very decent guy once you get to know him. I still couldn't understand why he let Jane circle him the way she was but that was his choice and his private life was none of my business.

For being always able to help everyone, I had skipped breakfast and lunch and I was a little wobbly on my feet but it was nothing new when I thought back to all these weekdays. My last real meal was a week ago and all the pressure and stress were starting to show.

The last thing I remember was the file slipping from my hand.

I don't remember blacking out, nor do I remember falling on the floor. What I do remember is waking up into a boarding room with Felix, Heidi, Kate and Edward looking at me with mixed emotions in their eyes.

I didn't have time to open my mouth and say anything because someone was poking at my left arm, trying to find a vein. They had called an EMT.

_Shit! This is bad._

Even my inner voice had lost her bitchy tone and sounded worried. Alice was going to freak out when she found out and Edward… well, Edward was looking at me like he hadn't decided whether to strangle me or force feed me. He also looked tired, drained and ready for a month long vacation.

It looked like I wasn't the only one in need of a break.

"Miss Swan, please drink this."

A glass filled with water was pushed in my line of vision and I took it and brought it to my lips. The taste was horrible but I drank it and kept my mouth shut.

"It's Calcium. We don't want you fainting again now, do we?"

Obviously, the answer was no.

"Could you give us a few moments alone, please?"

The sound of his voice came as a surprise. If there was going to be a bet, I would have put my money on him standing in a corner of the room, watching my every move but not saying a word.

It took a few minutes but, eventually, the room cleared and the only people left were him and me.

I was sitting in a chair, shoes off, my feet on another chair. I probably looked like I needed more than just some vitamins and Calcium to get me back on my feet without the risk of fainting again.

"Bella..."

He trailed off, grabbed a chair and sat in front of me, pinning me with his gaze. He looked lost for words. He looked... sad but there was also a hint of determination underneath. There was fire in his eyes. I was in for one hell of a speech. Not that I wasn't deserving of it, mind you!

"I'm not going to pretend like I know what you're going through. I don't. I do know what it feels like to lose a parent and for the other one to hate your guts."

His tone and general attitude was so different than what I was expecting that my jaw must have hit the floor. He offered me a sad smile and breathed in deeply before speaking again. I was all ears.

"You see, I lost my mom when I was four. Elizabeth Masen was the centre of my world, partly because my father never spent time with me, partly because she didn't trust anyone to take good care of me. My mother was like the sun, lighting up the room when she walked in. But my father never cared about her. It was a marriage of convenience. I was just the bond that solidified his marriage and, therefore, his position in the Chicago elite."

The bitterness in his voice made me see how much hate he had for his father. It broke my heart to see him like that… to see him wanting something and not being able to get it: his father's love. But there was more to the story and interrupting him to say what I felt would have been rude. Instead, I offered a small nod and waited for him to continue his story.

"She killed herself. Took a handful of pills and…"

Edward paused, his voice breaking and his eyes becoming glassy. He looked away from me, out the glass wall, as if he was trying to get himself under control before continuing with his story. I didn't want him to continue if it meant opening up old wounds and adding salt on them. Sure, I was curious. I was getting a glimpse into his past, into the environment that shaped him this way but the costs seemed too great. Given the choice, I would have chosen to stop this conversation and never mention it again if it meant peace for Edward but something told me he needed to get it out of his chest. It was like he was building this bridge between us by sharing details that I'm sure very few were privy to. I felt… _honored_.

"Anyway, the bastard didn't want anything to do with me. He passed me on from relative to relative as soon as he laid her in the ground, claiming he didn't have time to raise a kid and build a name for himself as an attorney. He didn't even want me to bear his name anymore. He got what he wanted from her and I was just a reminder of the shit he did to get where he was. I still don't know how Carlisle got full custody of me or how he managed to get me a trust fund that could keep me comfortable until the day I die. He did, though… he got me the name, the money and got me out of that hell."

He stopped again and stared at me. I wanted to look away. I wanted to break the connection and retreat further into my mind where my demons were waiting for me.

"I was fine...until I wasn't."

_Sounds familiar, Isabella?_

"I managed to stay away from the edge for a little while but when it hit in full force... the loss, the pain, the anger... There were moments when I wanted to go back to Chicago and strangle him with my bare hands. He took her away from me, the only person who truly loved me! I wanted to take everything away from him, to make him feel helpless, just like I felt when she..."

He had lost the battle with the tears and they flowed down his cheeks in salty rivers.

It took him a few moments to compose himself but he did it eventually.

"I know loss, Isabella. I know how it feels to believe you've gained control only for it to be ripped away from you in the blink of an eye. It pains me so much that you have to go through this... and I'd like to promise you I'll get the fuckers and you'll feel better afterwards but that would be a lie. You wouldn't feel better. You'd just push the pain into the back of your mind, just like you did until now."

I was speechless. He had hit the proverbial nail on the head so I did the only reasonable thing there was to do: I started crying. I cried for their deaths. I cried for my death. I cried like my heart had been ripped from my chest and torn into pieces while Edward held me the entire time, not saying a word. I ruined his shirt and probably looked like a raccoon but I couldn't find it within myself to give a crap.

At least half an hour must have passed but no one came to check in on us.

Edward took a napkin out of his pocket and wiped away all traces of mascara from my face with such sweetness, I almost burst into tears again.

"I'm here, Bella. And I don't plan on going anywhere. That is a promise I can make."

And I knew. I could tell by the intense look in his eyes, by the way his irises changed color and darkened, by the way his jaw was set... he meant it.

_I'm not alone._

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**As always, I'd love to know your thoughts on this so far!**

**See you next Saturday!**


	35. Ch 35 - The father

**Hello! **

**Guess who has internet connection? This girl!**

**I see no one PM'd me to admonish me for my failure at delivering chapter 35 on Monday, as I had hoped. Thank you for that.**

**Without further comments, I give you chapter 35!**

**Enjoy!**

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"_With the sensation that he was passing through the Looking-Glass, Max stared at his father as if he had never seen him before—simultaneously impressed and unnerved at the thought that, after all these years, he still knew so little about him."_

― Sol Luckman

If I ever thought Edward was scary, Alice topped it off without a hitch!

I can't say I could blame her, though. If I were her, I would hit myself a few times over the head just to make sure my brain wasn't sleeping anymore. But the problem was that my brain _wasn't_ sleeping. It was working against me.

It was my enemy.

But Alice was my friend. And, at the moment, she was laying some pretty heavy rules.

"First and foremost: you eat. Edward and I have already spoken about it. You will eat at precise hours we already decided upon. If you happen to be involved in some activity at that moment, as soon as you finish it, you eat. If it'll take too long to finish and your eating schedule will be affected, you'll take a break and eat, then resume your activity. If you're at home, someone will make sure you eat.

"Second: you will not stay locked in your room. You'll get out, swim in the pool, read a book, go out and shop... I don't care as long as you don't retreat into your mind and stay there. You need activity other than work.

"Third: you stop hiding when you're feeling down. I'm here now and this bullshit has to stop! You're hurting. You're in pain. You're mourning. I get it. We all get it. We were all expecting it. That's why we're here. But for you to stop eating is stupid and not part of the plan! So just... stop!"

Words evaded me. Her kindness, her love and patience brought tears to my eyes.

"Hey, hey... you're not supposed to be crying now." Alice said with a watery smile as she held my hands tightly. "Let's put some food in that stomach of yours, okay?"

When we went down to the kitchen, Carmen was already waiting with a light dinner and a smile. It broke my heart a little. So much attention for me... someone who didn't know who she could trust and there was Carmen, trying to make me feel better and taking care of me.

I smiled and allowed her to usher me on the back porch where the table had already been set.

We spent the rest of the day out in the yard, enjoying the rare day full of sunshine, chatting and gossiping just like in the good old days. Okay, Alice chatted and gossiped while I sat and listened with an indulgent smile on my lips and offered my opinion whenever she needed it.

Then came the bomb.

"I quit on Friday."

My mouth popped open and my jaw hit the grass.

"What?!" I shouted, unable to control the volume of my voice.

Alice was unfazed.

"My boss was a bitch. And I do mean a class A, out-of-this-world bitch." She said with a cute scrunch of her nose as if she was smelling something foul. Probably the memory of her perfume.

I laughed at that. Alice did have a funny way of treating people.

"Don't laugh. She treated me like crap. I couldn't please her no matter what I did, and, trust me, I went out of my way to make that woman happy. I bought her favorite coffee, favorite cheesecake, favorite magazine. You name it and I got it. I did extra work, overtime, helped people manage issues so it wouldn't reach her ears. Nothing worked. Nothing. And you know how I feel when people say that women in high positions are bitches and bossy. It's not fair to put everyone in the same pot. But this one..."

She shook her head in amazement and I tried really hard to contain my laughter. I wasn't really good at it and Alice threw me a mock dirty glare for my failed attempts. I burst into laughter. She cracked a smile.

"Yeah, yeah... laugh it up. I find the _one _person who is immune to my charisma and she happens to be my boss. Anyway, I was _this _close to walking into her office and demanding an explanation when Edward called. Do you know what she said when I asked for the rest of the day off? She said that I might as well hand in my resignation. I replied _With pleasure._"

Alice finished her story with a smug grin and toasted to a new job. We sat like that for a few minutes, giggling and laughing about her experience. As soon as one of us would finish laughing, the other one would start all over again.

"God, I needed this." I say with a relieved sigh.

"Yeah... you did. You know what you also need? To get laid!"

"Alice!"

"No, no, no! You don't get to pull the innocence card here. I saw the way you and Edward throw those side glances when you think no one is looking."

I had the decency to look ashamed and turned pink.

"Guilty as charged, of course." Alice added with a grin when she saw the look on my face. "Gotta give it to the man, though. He is _fiiiiiine_! Not as fine as Jasper but close enough." She added with a wink and my interest was piqued.

"Speaking of Jasper... have you two gone out yet?"

"Sadly, no. He's been busy with classes. I've been even busier with work. Buuuut... now I'm free as a bird." She said and wiggled her eyebrows.

"Alice! Ewww!"

"Yeah... your time will come, young grasshopper. Just you wait."

For the rest of the hour, I was the target of her jokes and I have to say, it was just like old times.

I would fall into a moment of silence, thinking about everything that had happened and Alice would pick up on my mood and hold my hand for a few moment before saying another joke and sending me into another fit of giggles. She did everything in her power to keep me occupied and it was almost a complete success. I still had moments when I would gaze down the cliff but Alice always managed to get me away from it just in time.

Alice was a good friend. Alice was the best friend I could have ever hoped to have in my corner. I was blessed to have her by my side.

"Bella, now matter what, I'm here. No more hiding from me, okay? You already have enough on your plate with all these people wanting to get to you. Shutting me out is _not_ an option. Understood?"

I nodded. It was understood.

"Good. Now we're gonna go to bed and sleep because tomorrow will be a perfect day for shopping. Esme and Carlisle are away on some weekend getaway, Rose and Emmett are house hunting and Edward has agreed to stop fussing over you for an entire weekend... with the condition that we keep close to Alec."

Tomorrow was going to be a long day. And I had no idea just how _long_ it would get.

"How come you have a $400 dress in your wardrobe and have on a horrible $20 dress? And who bought that?"

I had escaped Alice's attempt at dressing me up and rebelled. My outfit was made out of a gray maxi jersey dress with a modest V-neck and that also had split on my right leg. It went up to the middle of my thigh and made me feel a little sexy. I paired it with black slip-on trainers for comfort. Knowing Alice, we were in for a very long shopping day. The only make up on my face was mascara and a tinted lip balm. I grabbed a black leather bag and sprinted down the stairs after Alice.

"Hey! I happen to like it, okay? And, for the record, you bought it." I added with a smug grin.

Alice looked lost for words. It felt so good I even giggled.

"Oh yeah... but we were on a budget back then... and mistakes _can_ happen." Alice replied with a dirty look at the dress I was wearing. "You now have a card blanche when it comes down to shopping and I plan on..."

Alice's speech came to a stop as soon as we hit the bottom of the stairs and came face to face with a guest.

"Hello." The man spoke, sending shivers up my spine and making the hairs on the back on my neck stand at full attention.

"Hello." Alice replied, probably a little unsure on how he got into the house without Eleazar to guide him. _Same here, Alice._ I mentally added and stood at my full height, shoulders squaring and head held high.

"Do you mind giving me a few minutes with Mr. Masen?" I asked Alice but didn't look at her. My eyes were trained on the not-so-unknown man standing in front of us.

"Oh! Um... no. Sure. I'll be... around." She mumbled and left like Death was chasing her.

The man smiled and revealed a row of pearly white teeth.

Grandma Swan's words resonated in my head._ The Devil is charming_. Indeed he was.

"You know who I am."

That voice... the same voice wrapped in velvet that would have every woman within hearing range swoon. I bit back a shiver. _Focus, Bella._

"Yes. The living room is this way. Follow me, please." I said and took it upon myself to walk in that direction once I realized he wasn't going to move until I did.

Edward Masen Sr. was here, in all his glory. I almost pinched myself to see I wasn't still sleeping and dreaming about this.

_Keep it cool, Bella. He's not gonna bite._

I turned around as soon as I stepped foot into the living room and studied him. His eyes were brown but I could see where Edward had gotten the shape of his eyes. His nose and jaw were identical and his brown hair was coiffed to perfection but I could still see that he had put a lot of work into it. His height, physique and posture were eerily similar. It was like looking at Edward, twenty years in the future.

I managed to smile and gestured towards the couch while I took a seat in the cream leather armchair gingerly. All the while, his eyes were trained on me, analyzing my each move. It was _beyond _creepy but I managed to stay calm. My poker face was on. After all, I was dealing with a very cunning and successful lawyer. Who also happened to be Edward's father. The only relative Edward had left. The father that he hates from the bottom of his guts. Okay, maybe I was a little screwed. Must make a nice impression, though.

"How are you?"

The sudden spotlight that shone on me was unexpected.

"Good, thank you. And you?" I replied and tried to shit the attention away. I didn't know how much he knew about me but from the way he was looking at me, my guess was that he knew some things... if not more.

"Good."

_So much for chit-chat._ I added silently and softly nodded. Where _was_ Eleazar to save me from this awkwardness?

"So, what brings you by all the way from Chicago?" I ask and stare at him blankly, as if I'm not really interested but merely playing the game to see where it could lead.

"I see you know more than just my name. Tell me, how long have you been dating my son?"

And there it was. He knew about me and Edward. Considering how our relationship hadn't made the press yet, I was willing to bet that his sources weren't very... happy about this situation. I could almost see Caius spitting his poisonous words left and right. And now, Masen Sr. was here to see what the fuss was all about.

My eyes narrowed.

"A while." I answered vaguely and left it at that. His smile broadened.

"Well, Miss Swan, I have to say, you're different than what I expected."

I raised an eyebrow. He was starting to piss me off.

"I wish I could say the same." I replied with a smile so fake you could see it from the fucking Moon!

My reply didn't wipe off the shit eating grin from his face. On the contrary, it only broadened, making me grind my teeth. I knew I shouldn't have been mean to the man. I had nothing personal with him. But the way he was looking at me – staring at me – and smiling like he was on some secret I wasn't showed just how much he gave about my opinion.

"Please, go on." He urged me and laid back, unbuttoning his jacket as if he was getting ready for a fight. I decided to switch gears. After a small breath to ease the tension in my muscles, I smiled. A genuine smile that made my eyes sparkle and my body relax. He wanted to rile me up and I wanted to show him he couldn't do that. _Game on!_

"Well, in order for me to be able to say that you are different from what I _know_ to be true, I'd have to know you." I replied calmly and stared at him.

His smile faltered for a bit and when it came back, it wasn't so smug.

"In fact, I'd say that anyone would have to know you in order to give an opinion about you, Mr. Masen. As for me, I'm really curious who spoke about me. Opinions may vary according to that."

Silence settled. Edward Masen Sr. was still staring at me with a mixture of curiosity and weariness. Something didn't add up in his head and, I have to admit, it made me curious. I wanted to get to know this man who, apparently, had no love for his son or wife. Who did he care about then? What did Edward leave out? _Did_ he leave anything out? Now was my chance but I found that I didn't care about the truth. All I cared about was Edward's well-being and I knew for a fact that his father in town would mean a lot of anger rising to the surface.

"How is dear Edward these days?"

I couldn't help but notice the sarcasm in his voice. _Consider me intrigued._

"How about I call him and you speak to him? Talking about him without him being here seems a lot like gossip."

"There's no need for that." He replied with an easy smile that didn't convince me. He didn't want Edward to know that he was here, talking to me. _Interesting..._

"Is it safe to assume you wanted to talk to Mr. Cullen? Or did you want to meet with Mrs. Cullen?"

Upon hearing about Carlisle and Esme, Masen Sr. almost sneered. His whole face transformed for a brief second but I didn't miss it. There was history there. Maybe some old enemies. After all, Edward said he had no idea how his father allowed him to live with the Cullens.

"No." He replied and looked around for a brief moment before settling his eyes back on me. He seemed uncomfortable which was odd. Why would he be here if he was uncomfortable?

"Well then... you have me at a loss. Why are you here, Mr. Masen?"

"I'm here to see you, the girl dating my son."

_Yeah, right! And I was born yesterday. Nice to meet you!_

"To make sure I'm not a gold digging whore out for your son's money?" I asked and leaned on my elbows, observing his every move.

A crooked smile appeared on his lips and his eyes gleamed mischievously. In that moment, he looked like Edward's father.

"Something like that. I thought it would be... _appropriate_ to know Charlie Swan's daughter. You know... considering everything..."

He let the sentence trail off and smiled again. That smile set me on edge but I fought not to let it show. Using their deaths was low and one doesn't do that unless they're running out of options.

"Why are you _really_ here, Mr. Masen?" I asked, eyes narrowed and poised to record each clench of muscle. This whole circling around was starting to get on my nerves. Time to cut to the chase.

"Did they find out who killed your parents?"

"There's a pending investigation." I replied without missing a beat.

"Right. How is Jacob Black handling the case? Such a _promising_ talent..."

"He's probably burying it." I replied with a emotionless voice.

Sometime during our little chat, Edward Sr. had risen from the couch he stood on. Upon hearing my reply, he turned around sharply and locked eyes with me.

"You're not as stupid as I was lead to believe."

"You wouldn't be so stupid as to believe anything without meeting me in person." I reply and stand from my seat without breaking eye contact. "Now, before Edward gets here, care to share the reason why you're here?"

He seemed to ponder my question for a bit, like he didn't know if he should tell me or not. I didn't buy it. He came here with an agenda. Me. But what was so important about me that he had to come in the house of the people he despised and attempt a good old-fashioned chit-chat?

"I have information about your parents and their deaths."

I crossed my arms over my chest and raised an eyebrow. _You have to be fucking kidding me!_

* * *

**Here it is, people! Edward Masen Sr. for you! You like? **

**See you next Monday!**

**Ciao!**


	36. Ch 36 - The option

**Hello! Guess who's back?  
**

**Here you have it, ladies and gets: chapter 36. It doesn't give out much but I had to make a bridge for Edward's POV. ****Next chapter will contain a lot of action, I promise! And chapter 38 will be in EPOV. Anyone excited about that? :D  
**

**Sorry for the long wait but I hope that now, when everything is where it's supposed to be, my brain will also go back on schedule. It's hard sticking to a date when all these things keep on happening! Don't lose your faith in me, guys!**

**To all the guests and everyone else who took the time to review, fave or follow: thank you! Even though I may not reply to each one of you, I DO read each and every word. I swear! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!**

**Happy reading!**

* * *

_"I wonder if fears ever really go away, or if they just lose their power over us."_  
_― Veronica Roth_

The thing about secrets is that they always come back and bite you when you least expect it. Of course, it would be normal to expect it, to prepare for that faithful moment when you have to face it but the human mind always comes up with these ideas, with these lies meant to protect itself. We always try to buy more time. We always try to hide from the painful truth.

There are very few people on this Earth how would choose the painful truth over the pretty lie. We sometimes build an entire life around a lie, forcing ourselves to go through the motions just because it's what everyone is expecting.

Let's face it: we love to lie.

We lie to protect ourselves. We lie to protect those around us.

We lie to help. We lie to cause injury.

Bottom line: there's always a lie somewhere along the path that we're currently on. The problem is identifying the lie and the reason behind it. Most of the time, no one wants to admit. As if the truth would just go away like that. As if the truth won't stare back at you in the mirror day after day, for the rest of your life.

It wasn't easy to keep my cool when Edward's father came waltzing into my life, flaunting secrets left and right as if he had any right to speak about them in the first place. And even if he did have the right, talking about the death of my parents as if it were something that shouldn't evoke any emotions out of me didn't make me like him. One thing was certain: taunting me like that wasn't earning him any brownie points. So what was the end point?

I was confused.

"I could tell you everything..." He trailed off and flashed me another smile.

I felt sick to my stomach.

"But you want something in return." I finished the sentence as I continued to stand up to him, arms crossed and narrowed eyes. My voice was low, controlled, and my body poised for defense or attack. I was not going to back down, nor was I going to fall for this method. I'd had enough of people _helping _me just because they could benefit in the meantime.

"See? I said you were clever. I wasn't wrong."

"I'm clever enough to know that you're offering me a poisoned apple, Mr. Masen." I replied calmly. A little _too_ calm, considering the storm raging inside my head.

"It's up to you to handle it, Isabella. Whether it'll kill you or not won't be my fault. Knowledge is power but it's also dangerous. It's up to you to use it properly."

He was right. The information he was offering to provide would be a tool in my hands. But, on the other hand, it would be a death sentence. I was going to play the Russian roulette. Needless to say, I wasn't in a hurry to give him my answer. I was all for stalling until some could come and save me.

"Aren't you the least curious as to who is after you now that your parents are dead?"

I thought about my answer for a few moments before letting him know I was willing to entertain the idea, even for a little bit.

"Let's say I do want to know. What do you want in return?"

"The content of that safekeeping box."

And there it was. It seemed like no matter how much I tried to run away, no matter how many attempts I made, the past would forever follow me, just one step away.

And, at that particular moment in time, the past came in the form of Edward's father. Full of lies and deceit and _secrets_.

"Isabella, I'm not sure you can fully grasp the impact of what's happened. People are after you. People want to have what you currently have in your possession. People are _out to get you._ This is a serious situation."

"No offense, Mr. Masen, but I doubt you're asking for those items solely for my safety." I said with a calm voice as I kept my eyes locked with his, making sure I noted each tensing muscle and each breath that left his lungs. I had to watch him. I had to make sure nothing escaped my attention.

"It doesn't matter what's in for me. What matters is that you get out of this snake pit and away before everything comes apart. I don't think you realize the danger you're in by simply _being_ in this house."

"I'm also in danger if I'm out of this house." I pointed out and shrugged my shoulders nonchalantly as if I wasn't talking about my own life, a life that could have ended in a day, a week, a month...

But, then again, didn't we all have the uncertainty of tomorrow always looming over our heads? When I had to face my parent's death, I also had to face the prospect that Death was following me much closer than I originally thought.

"Your parents were killed because of the contents of that box, Isabella. Would you like to die too? Your parents did their best to keep you away from all this and now you're willingly jumping into this head first? Think about it, that's all I ask."

I bet an offer from the Devil never sounded this good.

"You're offering knowledge on their deaths in exchange for the box. How would that keep me alive?"

Deep down, I knew it was pointless to ask. I wasn't planning on giving him what he wanted. It was too late for that even if I _did_ want to change my mind and do it. But Edward Masen Sr. didn't know that the box was no longer in my possession. He didn't know that whoever sent him was already at the mercy of Carlisle Cullen. And call it intuition or whatever, but I was sure that Carlisle Cullen did _not_ want anyone to know that he had it. Keeping this little detail to myself would prove to be a brownie point in my favor. And I was in dire need of brownie points when it came down to Carlisle Cullen.

"I know who killed them. I know who you should stay away from. My offer is as good as it could ever get."

I expected to feel something as I heard him utter the words. I was expecting some fire to erupt from deep within my being, ready to tear apart anyone who stood between me and their killers. I expected rage and anger and hurt and pain and everything in between to come clawing out of their box.

Surprisingly, nothing happened.

The notion that I could find out left me... _empty._

At the end of the day, would that knowledge mean that I'd get my parents back? Sure, I'd get the name of their killers. People who had done their job at shutting up a dirty cop who changed teams not once, but twice. But I'd never get my parents back.

"Good for you."

My voice was hollow even to my own ears. There was no feeling behind my words. No emotion to help the man standing in front of him. For all intents and purposes, I was a soulless creature, unfeeling and unmoved. I was a rock. And being a rock meant that Edward Sr. better bring some explosives or else nothing was going to happen.

"You have a death wish." Mr. Masen breathed out, stunned by my reaction – or lack of. I had yet to decide if _his _reaction was genuine or he was just _that_ good.

As a response, I shrugged again.

His eyes narrowed.

"What did he promise you?"

I wasn't sure who he was talking about but, just to be safe, I chose to think he was talking about his son.

"He likes me. He likes me enough to bring me into the house of his parents in spite of the fact that his adoptive father wants nothing to do with me." I paused and looked him square in the eyes for the full effect of my words to sink in. "Your son earned my trust." I said, finishing my little speech with a small smile.

"You mean he made you fall for him just so he could get his hands on that box." Edward Sr. sneered. "Make no mistake: I know my son. He's as ruthless and cunning as they come. I would know since he's my flesh and blood."

_And, yet, he's not calling you dad. _My subconscious replied with a sickly sweet smile on her lips. I mentally agreed with her but kept my mouth shut. There was no need to poke the bear more than it already was.

"I'm taking my chances."

"You're in some deep shit, Isabella. Bow out while you still can. Just give me what I came for and I'll make sure nothing happens to you. Hell, I'll ship you off myself to some God-forsaken place where no one knows who you are. You can live the rest of your days on some remote island, sipping on a cocktail under an umbrella. Be smart. Choose life."

I have to give it to him, he was good. He tried with everything in his power to make me sway, to make me change my mind. At some point during his speech, I almost felt the sincerity behind his words. _Almost._

I started screaming for Eleazar before my mind could catch up with my mouth. I had waited enough for him already. And where the fuck was he anyway? I thought this man knew everything that went on in this house. Where the fuck was he when Edward Sr. waltzed in here like he owned the place?

"Calling in reinforcements? Don't you want my help?"

"No."

My reply seemed to echo in the empty room, down the halls where it would be lost. A simple answer. A simple choice. Yes or no. It really was _that _simple. The words were simple but their consequences spread wider than I would have ever thought. Unknown people were after me. People who probably knew many things about me while I knew nothing about them. It wasn't fair, sitting like a bleeding corpse in the middle of the ocean, waiting for the sharks. It wasn't fair that I ended up paying for the sins of my father. It wasn't fair that the life I wanted and hoped to have would never become reality. Nothing was fair.

But I had to make due. I had to keep on trying to survive. Even if that meant sitting in the Cullen house. Even if it meant being under surveillance 24/7. Even if it meant being under the surveillance of people I knew very little.

To be honest, I was counting on Edward trying to protect me and Esme caring about her son's happiness because, let's face it, Carlisle was unpredictable. He was like the wind... changing tactics like the wind changes its direction. But I gave him what I had and kept my mouth shut about it. I had covered all my bases. I had done everything that was ever asked of me.

I know I wasn't safe in this house. I wasn't safe in my home either. I wasn't safe anywhere. And when one ends up in this situation, they have nothing left to lose. Someone who doesn't have anything to lose is dangerous. And they were staring to realize that. They were starting to realize that I was not going down so easy.

Sure, they all saw me as the weeping daughter. Up to a point, it was true, I won't deny. But I was also a survivor. A survivor who would do just about anything to stay alive just one more day. I made a deal with the devil himself just to stay in this house and I'd do it a thousand times more if it meant that I got a bit of security.

I trusted no one, except Alice and Edward. Everyone else had a hidden agenda. Just like the man standing in front of me. I had the impression that he was risking his hide by being here and, yet, here he was. He was in the house of the man who took his son away from him. That had to say something about how desperate he was to get his hands on the content of that box.

_Pandora's box._

"Miss?"

Eleazar voice cut through the mounting tension in the room like a knife through butter. Edward Sr.'s eyes snapped in his direction and I took advantage of that to put a few more feet between me and him. This small change made me a little more brave.

"Eleazar, please lead Mr. Edward Masen to the door." I said with as much confidence I could muster. My voice still shook a little but I could still hold my own. Eleazar paled instantly.

_Someone hasn't been doing their job properly._ My subconscious tsked in Eleazar's direction, feeling oddly good about the situation.

"We haven't finished our conversation, Miss Swan." Edward Sr.'s voice had an edge to it. Like a threat whispered into the darkness of the night. I took another step back.

"I think we've talked enough. I'm not interested."

He opened his mouth to say something else but the sound of the front door banging on the wall of the hallway made him snap it shut. I jumped back just as Edward entered the room, looking ready to commit murder.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing here?!"

His voice was eerily calm, a huge contrast to the crazy look in his green eyes – which had turned pitch black in the mean time.

I have to admit, this version of Edward was scaring the shit out of me. It was the calm before the storm, the electricity in the air before the lightning stroke. And I was willing to bet that this strike would do some damage to someone: his father.

Truth be told, I was waiting for Edward Sr. to cover back in fear and run, with his tail between his legs. However, my expectations weren't met. Edward Sr. met the furious gaze in his son's eyes full on, even putting on a small smirk just for the kick of it. Edward, however, didn't fall for it. He sat taller, squared his shoulders and got his body under control.

The two men seized each other like two mortal enemies.

"Glad you could join the party, Edward. Now, please tell Miss Swan here that giving you all that information would be a waste and an incredible stupid move on her part that'll only get her killed."

Edward's jaw flexed but he kept silent, choosing to focus on me first, instead of answering his father.

"Are you all right?" He asked as he did a quick once-over and seemed to breathe easier once he didn't find anything wrong with me. On the outside I was fine. On the _inside_, though... Let's just say that someone popping into this house whenever they wanted didn't really sit well with me. I was trying really hard to stop thinking about running away from the house in the next hour or so.

"Yes. I shall leave you two to talk. I'll be with Alice." I replied slowly and turned my attention back on the _guest._ "I wish we met under different circumstances, Mr. Masen." I said with a sad smile.

Quickly, I kissed Edward's cheek before darting out of the room with the speed of light before he or his father could say anything. I wanted to put as much space as possible between me and Edward Sr.

As soon as Alice heard my footsteps as I entered the kitchen, her head snapped up and she ran to greet me.

"Are you OK? I called Edward as soon as I got here but I couldn't find Eleazar or Carmen in the house. They were in the garden, at the end of the backyard."

_So that explains Eleazar's late reaction to my shouting. I_t still didn't explain why security left Edward Masen Sr. to waltz in here but that was not under my control anyway.

As soon as I opened my mouth to reply, we both heard shouting from the living room. I made a move to go back there but Alice grabbed my arm and forced me to stop.

"You are so _not_ going back there. I don't need my intuition telling me that we should stay out of it. _That _is a family feud you need to stay out of."

Alice's voice and attitude stopped me dead in my tracks. My eyes narrowed as I looked at her.

"What do you know?"

My best friend dragged me to the breakfast island, made me sit down, put a cup of steaming tea in front of me and sat down on the other side of the island.

"You know I searched for information about Edward when we were in Forks and we were scared shitless. That adoption smelled fishy right from the beginning. That's when I decided to check out the other Edward Masen who popped up in the search. Turns out, he was Edward's father. Huge lawyer in Chicago, esteemed member of the Bar. So I asked myself _'Why wouldn't he be allowed custody of his own son?' _He had money, he had connections, influence and credibility. He could have kept Edward without anyone even _thinking_ about an adoption. But he didn't _want _to keep his son."

"How do you know that?"

"There was no fighting back. Carlisle and Esme Cullen adopted Edward and that was the end of it. No one uttered a peep about this strange turn of events."

"What else did you find?"

"The usual. Women flocking to him for money and fame. Nothing out of the ordinary. Unlike his son, who is the talk of the town and people suspect he's defending less than honorable clients, Edward Masen Sr. is immaculate. But immaculate doesn't mean anything in this world, does it?"

I nodded my head and took a mouthful of hot tea, letting it burn my throat as it slid down. This information about Edward Sr. wasn't really news. One could tell by his demeanor that he was dangerous. Just standing in the same room as he was had raised the hairs on the back of my neck. That man was trouble.

The shouting started again. This time, though, both men seemed to participate. I looked over at Alice and she nodded.

We quickly made our way to the living room just as Carlisle and Esme Cullen entered the hallway.

Little did I know, things were about to get _very_ interesting.

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**So, there you have it, peeps!**

**It seems like our Bella has finally made her choice. Do you think it's the right one? And what does Carlisle have to say about this incident in his own house? I know I wouldn't be too happy with random people getting in my house...**

**See you next Tuesday!**

**Until then, have a great week, everyone!**

**~V**


	37. Ch 37 - The doubt

**Hi there!**

**This is the latest installment! Sorry for not posting yesterday but since I don't have anyone to read this and give me an opinion, I usually end up editing way past the time I'm supposed to post the chapter and then I'm late. Again. I'm really sorry.**

**Happy reading!**

* * *

"_A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes."  
― __Mark Twain_

I always thought of myself as a little different from the people around me. There were times when I found it very hard to just be around people my age or even older. It's not that I couldn't mingle, that I couldn't find a common bridge that could tie me and the other person,. I just chose not to do it. I was resourceful and always managed to do what I had in mind, _if _I wanted to do it_._ Mom always joked that I was stubborn as a mule but I always brushed off her jokes. So what if I did everything in my power to get something? The alternative would have been to not have a purpose at all.

Now that, in my perspective, was Hell.

I was wrong.

Hell isn't just a decision, a moment, a place in time that you can pinpoint with precise clarity. When you're in your own brand of Hell, time ceases to exist. You get the feeling that you've been there for years, struggling to get out, struggling to make sense of everything going on around you and you fail at that each time. Time becomes unimportant as long as you get out of there.

It felt like years had passed since Charlie and Renee's death and I was, officially in Hell. People, like Edward's father, seemed like they would have done anything as long as it meant that they could get close to me and try to get the damned box that _supposedly_ was in my possession. The fact that Carlisle Cullen was a powerful and scary man did nothing to keep at bay all those who were out there, hunting me. I was sure of that.

Shit was about to get very serious and I was seriously considering the option of just getting a fake ID and fake documents to go with it and just... disappear. But two things were keeping me from doing that. Two people to be more exact: Alice and Edward. While Alice was probably just as defenseless as I was, another thing could be said about Edward. He wasn't weak. Not even when it came to his father and all those unsolved problems between them. If anything, the hate that he had for his father only made him more careful and much more stronger to go against anyone who dared to challenge him.

But I was his weakness and I knew Edward Sr. had figured that one out as soon as he saw his son in the same room as I was. My body seemed to sing whenever Edward was around and my posture visibly relaxed each time he was near me.

Edward Sr. had found the girl everyone was looking for and also stumbled upon his son's weakness. Something told me that wasn't a very common occurrence and he didn't seem like the type who would just let it go. He seemed like the type who would store it for later and use that piece of information with no remorse whatsoever.

I prayed to God I was wrong but I knew... I knew I was in some really deep shit.

All thanks to my dear father. How ironic that the one person who I trusted above anyone else was the one person who had dragged me into this hell.

And let's not forget about my mother. Just thinking about her death brought tears of sadness, despair and anger each time. Each. Damn. Time.

But Edward Sr. had been right about something: I wasn't safe in this house. Maybe giving Carlisle Cullen the box hadn't been a mistake but getting involved with his son, staying in his house, being close to him had been a huge mistake.

In my defense, there wasn't much that I could have done a few weeks ago. I did the best I could with what I had been given. But the best turned out to be a mistake. Getting tangled in this web of lies and deceit had begun to backfire. It was only a matter of time before my safety would be a full time job for everyone. A job that could get them killed.

Was I ready for that? Was I ready for someone to give their life for me? What made me so special, at the end of the day?

The answer was... nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I was the daughter of a turn cloak. _And I was paying dearly for that._

"What is the meaning of this?"

Carlisle Cullen was cool as a cucumber and Esme matched him down to the number of breaths he was taking. They both were their stunning selves as they walked into the living room and took in the scene before them. I was still in the hallway, still debating whether I should be in the same room or just get myself out while I still wasn't involved in the conversation. Something told me shit was about to hit the fan.

"Carlisle. Esme." Edward Sr. said through a thin lipped smile as though he would have rather eaten rocks than be in the same room with the patriarch and matriarch of the Cullen family. _And the Family, Isabella. I wouldn't forget that if I were you. _My mind replied and carefully analyzed the scene in front of us.

"Why don't we all have a seat?" Esme, ever the graceful hostess, said with a neutral expression before calling for Eleazar. It took the butler three seconds to materialize before our eyes. "Yes, Mrs. Cullen."

"Bring us tea, please."

Judging by Eleazar's face, you would have thought Esme asked for poison, not some simple boiled water with a side bag of something fruity. But the words weren't to blame. It was her tone. I've never heard Esme Cullen use that tone in all three weeks I had stayed in that house. It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.

Needless to say, I took that as a sign to get out of there as soon as possible. Too bad Esme wasn't having it.

"Isabella, join us. Please."

I had a feeling that _please_ meant _now _so I nodded my head, put a poker face on and slowly made my way into the room. I sat daintily on one of the couches facing each other and folded my hands in my lap. Edward sat right next to me and took my left hand into his. I could almost feel the tension rolling off of him in waves.

"Good, now that we're all here, why don't we start this from the beginning."

No one was talking. Personally, I had nothing to bring on the table but since no one wanted to say anything and the tension was clearly mounting by the second, I opened my mouth and bit the bullet.

"Mr. Masen wants the box I gave to Edward for safekeeping."

Four out of the five people in the room knew that it was a complete lie but none of us moved a muscle. The fifth person, Edward Masen Sr., was looking at me as if I was the dirt on his shoes and didn't deserve to be in the same room with him. I'm guessing my earlier answer didn't please him. Then again, I hadn't fooled myself it would.

"It still doesn't explain why you would come into my house, uninvited, and demand something that isn't yours to begin with." Esme said while looking straight into Edward Sr.'s eyes. To his credit, he didn't flinch or look away.

Instead of backtracking and trying to get out of the house as quickly as possible, Edward Sr. launched into his very own brand of attack.

"And why is she here to begin with? You're having the daughter of a traitor living in the same house as the head of the Family and his wife? This is beyond stupid, even for you two."

"Her stay here is not up for discussion. Why do you want the box?"

This time, it was Carlisle who spoke up and took the lead of questioning.

"Not for me, of course." Edward's father replied with a flick of his wrist as if the idea seemed preposterous to him. Maybe it was.

"Who paid you then?"

Edward's voice seemed foreign to me. It was cold, detached and ready for a fight. _A deadly combination._ My mind whispered as I squeezed his hand to let him know I was there. I hoped my little action brought him back into the room and away from the anger he had been feeling towards his father for all that time.

"I'm doing someone a favor but it seems that Miss Swan here doesn't want to help me... or herself, for that matter." Edward Sr.'s cryptic reply came and filled the room with tension.

Everyone's eyes were on him and his eyes were on everyone. You could have cut the tension in the room with the proverbial knife.

Eleazar's reappearance in the room proved to be the best distraction.

"Tea is served." Eleazar said as he poured hot water into five cups and opened a wooden box that contained all kinds of flavored tea bags. I took a cup and a tea bag in the blink of an eye.

"Isabella has enough help here, in this house." Esme stated as she stared Edward Sr. with a blank look over her steaming cup of tea.

"Really? In this snake pit?"

A muscle tensed in Carlisle's neck. Esme put a hand on her husband's forearm and gave him a gentle squeeze. The action calmed him instantly.

"Insulting us in our own house is not wise, Edward."

"It wasn't wise to take my son away from me and turn him against me either. Yet, you still did it, Esme."

_Take Edward away from his father?_

"There's more to that story that you being a simple victim, Edward. Don't play that card."

Even I, the untrained ear, could hear the threat in Carlisle's voice. I gulped down a mouthful of tea and wished I was anywhere else in the world, except for that living room.

"I'm not here to go down memory lane, Carlisle. My son has made his choice."

I couldn't miss the slight edge in his voice. He sounded... pained. Up to a point, I guess I could have understood him. Being away from your flesh and blood couldn't have been easy but why not do everything within your power to make it right again? As far as Edward told me, his father never fought for him, never expressed his wish to get him back.

_What had changed?_

There was only one answer: me.

Edward Sr. thought his son had what he wanted and was playing his son's feelings in his favor. Was that it? Would he really go that low to get that fucking box and its contents? Or did I get I wrong? Did Edward Masen Sr. finally see the error of his ways and was trying to make amends? The timing was too weird.

"Oh, someone please give me a trashcan so I can throw up in it!" Edward suddenly said as he got up from the couch. I missed his body heat instantly. "You're not here to catch up on old times of you not giving a fuck about me! You're here to get your hands on that information. Well, guess what? It's not gonna happen! So you can crawl back into your little hole and report back to your master that Isabella is in _my_ care and I sure as hell am going to keep her away from the likes of you!"

I was stunned by Edward's speech. Sure, there wasn't anything else I would have expected from him other than his complete devotion. It made my heart skip a beat.

"The likes of me? You seem to be forgetting in which circle you're mingling, boy!"

"A better one where family sticks together!"

"You're not family to them! You're the dog meant to keep others under surveillance! You're with the Cullens because they have something to gain from that, not because of _love_."

The way _love_ fell from Edward Sr.'s lips, you would have thought they were discussing fecal matter. I suppressed a shiver.

"That's enough!" Carlisle bellowed and a heavy silence settled over all of us. "I won't have you in my house, disrespecting me and everyone in it."

"Actually, I think it would be good to get it all in the open, considering the fact that Edward here wants to keep Isabella here. She should know what she's getting into. You're all playing the part of the happy family when in reality, you're anything but!"

"Edward..."

But Edward Masen Sr. was on a roll and he didn't give a shit about Carlisle's warning.

"What? You're gonna tell me I'm lying? You're gonna tell me you're not the head of the Mob family that killed her father? Don't tell me you had no idea of their plans. You know everything that goes on in there and this time it was no different. You knew and now you're playing the card of the wonderful father, eager to help his adopted son take care of his naive girlfriend, a girl who just happens to be the daughter of the mole your men killed!"

I have to say, I had been thinking the same thing for almost three weeks now so hearing it from his mouth shouldn't have done anything to me. But it did. Like a sucker punch you never see coming, it hit me full force.

To be honest, I could get Carlisle's point of view. There isn't much you can do when someone like my father keeps betraying people left and right. However, my father trusted Edward enough to make him the back-up plan and that itself spoke volumes.

Carlisle kept silent throughout Edward Sr.'s tirade. He even managed to look calm and keep his compose. I would have smacked him a long time ago. _And I was a peaceful person. _

"The investigation concerning those deaths is still pending, Mr. Masen." Esme reminded him with a calm and collected voice. In those moments of tension, it seemed like she was Carlisle's voice, carefully choosing her words and taking no prisoners in the process. "I hope whoever killed Isabella's mother and father will be brought to justice. We are _not_ involved in that, as you already know." Esme's voice didn't shake, nor was it filled with any emotion, but it had this conviction, this strength and power that it mesmerized you in a heartbeat. "I will personally make sure that this child is safe from harm and safe from all the people who _pretend_ to help."

I looked over at her in awe. _This woman is something!_

"A real mother hen." Edward Sr. sneered.

"Watch your mouth!" Carlisle warned, his voice low and full of menace.

"Leave him be, Carlisle." Esme said soothingly before returning her attention back to the intruder. "You knew what you would find here, Edward. You're not going to get the reaction you've been hoping for. Isabella will never be alone and she's not going to help you either. She chose _my_ son. Make peace with that."

I watched as Edward Sr. digested her words, his face scrunching with each moment that passed. He was a ticking bomb, ready to go off and take us all out in the process, no matter the costs. And I was willing to bet that I was the first in line for his attack.

"You're getting her deeper into your world and you act like you're doing her a favor! You're not! And Edward here should know better by now!"

I threw Edward a side glance and saw the tensing muscles on his skull. This was going to end badly!

"She's made her choice." Esme stated calmly even though I could tell she was also reaching her boiling point any minute now.

"And what choice was that? To turn her back on the only people who could have helped her and walk into your waiting arms, Esme?"

"They left me there." I found myself saying. I hadn't even processed the words before they spilled out of my mouth. There was no turning back anymore now that I had Edward Sr.'s attention once again.

"They were waiting-"

"They left me there like one leaves live bait." I said, cutting him off. "No security, no help... nothing! Later, I found out that daddy _dearest_ had left me 10 million dollars. What was I supposed to do? Wait for people to pop-up and claim old debts? Or wait for that safety deposit box to be in my possession while I was alone?"

My questions shut him up. As a matter of fact, my questions made everyone shut up and really take a moment to think of what I had gone through. The more I thought about it, the more pissed off I became. Sure, taking the high road and coming here _weeks_ after those incidents with options was easy. Given another chance to re-do what I did, maybe I would have chosen another path, another option, another guardian. But this wasn't a re-do. I did the best I could with what I had been given. I was not going to start questioning myself and my previous actions because that would have been the perfect recipe for a disaster.

"You came here and gave me the option of running away. I ask you: why should I run away? What have I ever done to run away? What am I guilty of?"

"You are obstructing justice, Isabella."

The words seemed foreign to me. _Justice._ What was that anyway? The _eye for an eye_ bullshit people applied in their everyday lives? Where was justice when my parents had been killed and people were already sniffing around me?

Justice had failed me. I owed nothing to justice. And it's really quite ironic given my earlier hopes and dreams. If anyone would have asked me two months ago about justice, I would have said it always needed to be served. Funny how my perspective changed once justice didn't seem to be served to me and those who needed to be punished for their crimes.

"What do you think is in that box?" I asked, challenging him to finally say what was so important about that damn box.

"Information."

"Information about what?"

"Information on the people your father had worked with."

"The Police or the Mob?"

"Both."

"Then why not get a warrant and _make_ me give that box?"

Our back and forth questioning came to a halt once I uttered that question. The room was so silent you could have heard a pin drop. Edward Sr. stared at me while I stared back with an impassive gaze and a challenging body language.

"Because, technically, that box doesn't exist." Edward quipped, making his father turn his glare on him once again.

_If looks could kill..._

"Edward, I think you've overstayed your welcome here." Carlisle said even though we all knew he hadn't been welcomed to begin with.

"Thank about it, Isabella. That's all I ask."

And with that, Edward Masen Sr. departed without a backward glance. I breathed out as my body relaxed instantly.

The room was eerily quiet after his departure, each of us lost in their own heads.

Alice popped in the room and took one look at me before making her way towards me, probably to drag me out before I exploded. I took a step back and shook my head, indicating that I didn't want to talk about it. I stepped around her and almost took off running in the back yard.

I needed space. I needed time to think. I needed silence without other people always trying to figure out what was going on inside my head. Hell, I didn't even know what was going on in my head! I was in deep shit and not only because I was in that house. I had been in deep shit long before I realized what had been going on underneath my nose.

Now it was time to start planning my escape.

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**Next chapter, an EPOV. Or should it be a BPOV? Let me know! Your answers will decide what I'm gonna post.**

**See you next Tuesday!**


	38. Ch 38 - The visit

**Hello, everyone!**

**Sorry for the long wait for this update. Real life kinda tends to get on my nerves sometimes but I think we can all agree on the fact that I always end up keeping my word and I update no matter what. Better late than never... **

**Anyway, here it is! Enjoy!**

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"_Given the choice between finding Godzilla and David Chambers on her doorstep, she'd have opted for the reptile, and never mind it wasn't the one who had the law degree."  
― Sandra Marton _

**BPOV**

Monday at work was horrible.

Everyone seemed afraid that I was going to faint any moment and kept glancing at me with the corner of their eye. At first, I thought nothing of it as people struggled to keep their eyes away from me but I sill was the center of their attention. I could feel it on my skin, crawling like bugs that magically disappeared if I looked their way.

When I finally got out of the elevator, I couldn't walk fast enough to my office where I hoped I'd stay until the day was over.

Fate, however, wasn't by my side that Monday. Fate, or so it seemed to me, was really against me because, standing by my floor to ceiling window, was none other than Jacob Black. The same agent who left me all by myself in a small town, with no one to keep a eye out for me. Strange how he seemed to pop-out just after a conversation with Edward Masen Sr. in which I refused to give him what he wanted: the content of the safety deposit box. That safety deposit box was soon becoming the bane of my existence.

"Mr. Black!"

My voice seemed to snap him out of his thoughts. He turned around and genuinely smiled. I wished I was wearing something more sophisticated than a simple cream dress and black stilettos. This man's simple presence brought back memories and feelings I wanted to let go.

He took his time as he took me in with a smile on his lips. He seemed... _happy_ to see me. Which was weird since I was so not happy to see him and I would have done anything to stay away from him and all the people who surrounded him, Aro Volturi included.

"Miss Swan."

I dropped my bag on the floor, next to my desk and took a step in his direction.

"What can I do for you?"

My tone must have clued him in on my mood because his smile was gone in a nanosecond. He looked warily at me, searching for reasons for my attitude, no doubt.

"I was just in the neighborhood and I thought we could talk a little. Last time I saw you, you were in Forks, mourning the loss of your parents."

"I'm still mourning them." I replied with a cold edge to my voice as my defenses went up in a matter of moments.

Jacob Black noticed.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could have done more."

I looked him over. Jacob Black was here on a mission and I had to figure out what he wanted before anyone from the office came and saw that he was here.

"Agent Black, as much as I'd like to sit and chat, I don't have time to do that. This is my workplace and that's exactly what I do: I work. So, unless you came here to inform me about any new leads on their deaths, talking about my dead parents doesn't fall in the _professional_ category. I have work to do."

"I need you to give another statement."

My eyebrows rose into my hairline.

"A statement about what?"

"Your inheritance."

_And there we go again!_

"What does my inheritance have to do with the death of my parents? Apart from the obvious fact that the only reason why I inherited them was because they are dead?"

I really didn't get it.

"You may have sensible information in your possession."

_Of course I do!_

I did have sensible information, technically. But I decided to play the dumb card instead of asking him the same question I had asked Edward Masen Sr.

"What information are you talking about, exactly?"

"The one Edward Masen wanted yesterday."

My eyes narrowed and my stance stiffened in a second. I couldn't believe his guts and lack of brains. To come to my office and start making demands when he didn't even look after me and left me like live bait? Stupid.

"Well then, agent Black, I suggest you get a warrant for that _sensible information_ because that's the only way you're going to get it."

"You already gave it to his son."

"Your point? I think we both know that unless you get a warrant, that _information_ will never stand in court. If it won't stand in court, I'm not giving it away. It's really that simple."

My forced answer made Black pale a little. Maybe he was still under the impression that I trusted him and that I would do whatever he asked of my just because Aro had called him to pick me up. The truth was, none of them did anything for me. Not even Jacob Black. I owed no one any favors or gratitude and I wasn't going to start then.

"Miss Swan..."

I waited for him to finish his idea, his plea or whatever was going through his head but his trail of thought apparently stopped.

"Yes?" I prompted him when I could no longer stand to watch him as he struggled to find his words. Those words weren't doing anything for me anyway. I was past the point of thinking that Jacob Black could help me in this clusterfuck.

There was only one person who could help me and that was Edward Anthony Masen. Or maybe not even him. God knew what kind of shit was waiting to happen!

"I need you to trust me."

There was something behind his words. Jacob Black was leaving something out of his speech but I could still see something in his eyes as if he were beseeching me to trust him, to do as he said. His eyes held the promise that he _could_ help. For a brief second, I considered the opportunity. I really considered taking him up on his offer. My mind was looking for ways to give him what he wanted until it all came to a screeching halt. Standing in front of me was the man who was supposed to keep my father and mother safe. He had failed. How could I ever be certain that he wouldn't fail at keeping me alive? It was that thought that made me sober up instantly.

I was surrounded by snakes and was quickly falling in love with a deadly man. I needed to keep my eyes open. Daydreaming about a fantasy wouldn't bring me any good.

"Trust is earned, agent Black. You haven't earned mine yet and with the way things are going, you may never earn it." I said with a detached, hollow voice. Just as I was about to speak again, Mike entered my office. "Now, if that's all, I'd like to start doing my job and stop wasting time." I said and gestured towards Mike.

Black nodded.

"Of course. Thank you for your time, Miss Swan."

Mike watched Black's back until he left my office and closed the door after him.

"What's up with this guy coming here every week?"

I was confused.

"Every week? What do you mean by that?"

"He's been here a few times in the past few weeks, always arguing with Masen. Kate usually ends up getting him out before Masen could do something stupid and get arrested or something."

That was news to me. I never saw Black lurking around here. Then again, I probably wasn't seeing many things that went on in the background, behind the thick curtain of secrecy and lies. The thought made my teeth grind.

I put on a fake smile and tried to take the conversation somewhere else. Luckily for me, Mike let it go and rushed head first into whatever case he needed documentation on.

Hours passed as we poured over laws and loopholes and whatever we could find so Mike could crawl his way out and get more time to regroup but I still couldn't shake his earlier words.

What had Edward talked about with Jacob Black? The only other time when I saw them together was at the funeral and it was _this_ close to turning into something ugly. You didn't have to have a major in Psychology to know that those two had a bone to pick. A very big bone. So how come they'd been meeting here during these past few weeks? Did Black want to talk to me sooner but Edward managed to keep him away?

I had half of mind to march down to his office and start demanding some explanations. I had enough of being in the dark about so many things that were related to me. Sure, it didn't mean that I wanted to know _everything _because that would have surely meant a death sentence but give me a break! Jacob Black wasn't _that _dangerous.

Or was he?

One thing was clear: I needed answers and I needed them fast.

It didn't take much until I lost my patience and I couldn't focus on what Mike kept looking for. He was looking for a door that didn't exist and I was so past the point of trying to help this hopeless cause.

"Mike, I need a break. This whole searching is giving me a massive headache."

"Yeah... we could take a break. Sorry for keeping you for so long, you probably have lots of stuff to do, like important stuff and here I am, looking for a loophole ever since Friday..."

I felt bad for Mike. He seemed like the type of guy who didn't want to impose or cause trouble. Which is why I still didn't understand why he got involved with Jane the Bitch in the first place. The two couldn't be more opposite and, while it may be true that opposites attract, I was willing to bet that Jane was definitely not attracted to Mike.

There were many things I couldn't understand about the world in which I had ended up in. Carlisle's attitude in spite of Esme supporting me, Edward's father who just happened to drop by and offer me an out of this crap, Caius's intrigue that went unpunished... the list was really endless.

I was almost sure that Caius was the one who talked to Edward Masen Sr. there wasn't anyone else who fit the bill. He hated that I was in the firm and always managed to say something that was meant to bring me down. He didn't want me in the firm, that was for sure. My presence here, and in Edward's life meant that his daughter had no chance of ever getting back with Edward.

My head hurt from all the thinking.

"Why has agent Jacob Black been here?"

The words left my mouth before I had a chance to think them through and decide if it really was the best approach when it came down to Edward's relationship with Jacob Black. It really didn't make any sense and the thought that he kept those things away from me was making me doubt Edward and his approach.

His head snapped up from his files and I could see his calculating gaze as he thought over all the things I knew and could have found out in the meantime.

"How do you know about Jacob Black's presence here?"

his voice was calm and collected but, just like in Black's case, there was something in his eyes. It seemed eerily similar to jealousy. _He's jealous of Black? _

"It doesn't matter. I just do." I said with as much calm as I could even though I could feel my blood start to boil. "Why didn't you tell me that he was here, Edward?"

He took a minute to regroup and I took that minute to look at him. He looked so tired, so... exhausted. He was so handsome in this three piece dark charcoal suit with a dark green tie that made his eyes pop. I tried to focus on something else other than his eyes. They always drew me in and, more often than not, I usually ended too far away from my initial target. I could tell that my conversation with him wasn't doing him any favors but I tried not to think about that too much. I needed answers and it was about time I got some.

"I didn't want to bring him up. These last few weeks have been more than rough on you and, believe it or not, I really thought that if you'd see Black again, everything would just get much worse than it already was."

"So you thought that keeping things away from me was the safest choice." I said and crossed my arms in front of my chest, as if I wanted to keep him away from my head so I could think this through clearly.

"Bella..."

He really didn't get it. I could tell by the look in his eyes, by the way he kept looking away and running his hands through his hair. Edward Anthony Masen did things his way and his way was always the best. Well, things were about to change.

"Look... it's fine. It's not the end of the world but you're gonna have to change tactics if we want thins... _thing_ between us to work. You have to trust me. You have to trust that my grief won't get the better of me."

Silence settled over us as we looked at one another. So many words were just waiting to be spilled from my lips but I had to keep most of them in. Some things were just too private while others were just... raw and painful. I had to constantly wheel myself to look away from the horror and just try to stay sane. It was becoming a full-time job.

I was attracted to Edward and he was attracted to me. It didn't stop me from thinking that maybe we weren't good for each other. I was the daughter of a dirty cop while he had his very own and very huge baggage when it came down to his father. I guess, in a twisted way, we were both screwed. I guess, in a twisted way, we were meant to fall apart. Strange enough, the thought didn't cut off the electric current that always ran through me whenever he was close.

"How do you feel about my father's visit?"

And there it was: the question I had been asking myself for the past day. How _did _I feel about his father's visit? Apart from the obvious fear that someone could just get into the house and get to me at any given time.

First of all, I was angry. Angry that I had been dragged into this whole affair. Angry that I had to deal with the consequences of my father's actions. Angry that Alice had also been dragged into this nightmare that never seemed to just... _stop. _Angry that I was so powerless. Angry that I felt like making an arrangement with Carlisle to save my hide.

Second, I was scared. Not because people were currently after me but because I would never get my own life. Scared because there were so many things going on that I had yet to wrap my head around many of them. Scared that I would end up looking over my shoulder for the rest of my life. And speaking of the rest of my life, it was scary not to know if someone was going to put a bullet through my skull tomorrow or the day after.

Third, I was sad. Sad that I would never get the life I had been dreaming about ever since I was a kid. Sad that I would never get to see my dreams come true. Sad that I had to give up on who I was. Sad that things were never going to be the same.

"I feel like no matter what I'm doing, I'm always gonna have someone wanting things from me. There's always gonna be someone who..."

I felt my control slipping through my fingers as fat tears rolled down my cheeks.

Edward jumped from his desk and engulfed my tiny frame into a huge hug. It was so comforting and so filled with unspoken words that it broke my heart all over again.

Truth was, Edward couldn't guarantee my safety. Neither could Carlisle.

Shit was serious.

I had thought about all the possible plans, all the possible outcomes and everything in between but if I was being honest with myself, my knowledge was limited. I didn't know much and I wasn't sure that the alternative was better.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

"Yeah..." I whispered with a raspy voice as I stepped away from his embrace to dry my cheeks. "I'm sorry too." I continued but was interrupted by a knock on the door. We both turned around just as Caius stepped into the office with a creepy grin. It made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. And it _wasn't_ in a good way.

"Isabella. Edward."

"Caius." We both replied, both sounding as if we wanted nothing more than just disappear.

"I'm glad I have both of you here in the office."

I glanced sideways at Edward and found him staring at Caius with unmasked disdain. I was willing to bet he, too, thought that Caius had given his father the info on where to find me and make me the deal of my life. It would have gotten me out of the way so that Jane could get Edward back and eliminate Esme's eyes in the firm. _As though she needs me to inform her on anything that goes on. _I thought as I looked Caius up and down. He knew about me and the fact that people were looking for me and that fact alone made him much more dangerous than I first thought.

_Thread carefully, Isabella. _My mind whispered as both Edward and I continued to look at him, waiting for the shoe to drop.

"Yes, Mr. Evanson?"

My voice seemed to bring Caius back from whatever he had been thinking. His smile disappeared and a more somber mood filled the office. I didn't know if I preferred the creepy or somber mood. With Caius, one could never tell what was going to happen in the next minute.

"I've decided that Isabella will help Jane with the Miller case. Starting from now on and until the end of the trial, Isabella is Jane's shadow. It'll do her good to see how things are in a courtroom."

I could see Edward tense in my peripheral vision so I answered almost immediately.

"Thank you for the great opportunity, Sir."

Both men were shocked by my reply. I could tell as much.

One recovered quickly and sent me a smile full of promises for things to come. The other one looked like he wanted to choke me.

Could you guess which one was which?

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**Sooo... what do you think of it? Our Bella seems to be getting into trouble all by herself. How will it be to shadows Edward's ex?**

**Next update should be... this Friday.**

**Thanks for reading!**

**~V**


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Twilight, Angst, Romance