Mega Man 1. Episode #-001 - THE PROLOGUE.

MEGAMAN X - EXTREME UNSTABILITY MAXIMUM  
Before we start.  
This story contains stuff that may offend some people. And that's why  
it's PG-13. Yadda yadda yadda.  
  
Instances of violence, mimicing of CATS, Yoda, Engrish, Yaoi and Yuri  
mocking, normal dirty jokes and whatnot are found here. If you're not  
offended by this kind of jokes you can read further. Ok? Ok.  
  
MEGAMAN X - XTREME UNSTABILTY MAXIMUM  
THE PROLOGUE.  
Disclaimer: CAPCOM owns Mega Man. Sue me Capcom. Ah. The prologue is  
here just to make pressure, y'know. Fear it, because the real thing  
shall come soon. Three / Two weeks, I guess. Well whatever. Let's  
start.  
  
(Dark room.)  
  
??: So... he's coming back.  
  
?? 2: Yep.  
  
??: True.  
  
?? 2: True.  
  
??: After he wrote that bunch of nonsense, he'll do more.  
  
?? 2: Nuh huh.  
  
??: Great.  
  
?? 2: Yes.  
  
??: Hey.  
  
?? 2: What?  
  
??: What do you think of us taking over his place as Author?  
  
?? 2: That would be pretty wild stuff.  
  
??: Let's do it!  
  
?? 2: For great unfairness!  
  
(Author Room.)  
  
Author: WTF do you guys want here? I'm writing.  
  
??: We're here to imprison you in an awful fanfiction as a character  
who simbolizes how straight men feel in the actual Megaman Community.  
  
Author: I already live life in hell, so try it out, buddy. See if I  
care.  
  
?? 2: Okay. (Flashes hands)  
  
Author (shrinks to a bubble): Shit.  
  
??: Now go! (throws the Author inside the PC)  
  
?? 2: Bwa Ha Ha Ha! Now let's write the story ourselves!  
  
??: Yes! Ha Ha HA!  
  
?? 2: Ha Ha!  
  
??: Ha!  
  
?? 2: Ha!  
  
??: Ha.  
  
??: ...Ha.  
  
?? 2: ...  
  
??: ...  
  
?? 2: There's only one problem...  
  
??: What?  
  
?? 2: I don't have a clue of who we are as of yet.  
  
??: Yeah, me neither.  
  
For great justice, click on Next Chapter. 


	2. Episode #000 - THE TRAILER.

MEGAMAN X - EXTREME UNSTABILITY MAXIMUM  
THE TRAILER.  
Disclaimer: The Cyttorak Ruby has made Cain Marko an unstoppable war  
machine. But his ruin was planted in his very own power, and he shall  
kill everyone that could ever help him, Ralph Macchio and Dende  
included. Eat at Joe's.  
  
(Author's Room.)  
  
??: So... we're here for like... 3 hours.  
  
?? 2: Nuh huh.  
  
??: What should we do?  
  
?? 2: Hmmm.  
  
??: What about making sort of a trailer for the thing?  
  
?? 2: How would that be?  
  
??: Let's take some quotes from the finished stuff to make it look like  
a trailer, showing scenes. Got it?  
  
?? 2: Good idea!  
  
??: Let's do it, ready?  
  
?? 2: Alright.  
  
??: Do it.  
  
?? 2: What?  
  
??: Start the trailer.  
  
(Dramatic trailer music begins)  
  
?? 2: Uh. Okay. (voice of trailer narrator) AD 21XX...  
  
?? (same voice): ...nothing you've ever seen...  
  
?? 2: ...nothing you've ever expected...  
  
??: ...can prepare you...  
  
?? 2: ...for what we made.  
  
??: An epical odissey with:  
  
?? 2: Blood...  
  
Zero & X: (nosebleeds a waterfall)  
  
Shin, Zero & X: (nosebleeds waterfalls)  
  
X: (nose bleeding due to constant punching)  
  
?? 2: ...new and known faces...  
  
Shin: It's me!! Put italic effect on the exclamations, I want it to   
look like Zero Wing.  
  
Marty: Don't worry, X!  
  
Sarusdi: Ze-ro will fall in love with me-e! (giggles and hugs Zero)  
  
Vile: Crap, I'm back AGAIN?!  
  
??: ...major twists...  
  
Marty: I'm bumping you, X-baby.  
  
Iris: Hmm, what did you say, honey? I wasn't listening, I was  
undressing X with the power of my mind.  
  
Sigma: WAH HAA HAA! I EARNED IT!!!  
  
?? 2: ...revelations...  
  
X: Really? What did you find out?  
  
Sigma: Your TRUE name.  
  
Dynamo: *I* AM PROTO MAN.  
  
Dr. Cain: I'm still alive!  
  
??: ...incredile confrontations...  
  
Marty: (sends ki blast back to Sarusdi) AND TAKE THIS! KA - ME - HA -  
ME - HAAAAAAAAAA!  
  
Sarusdi (kick, punch, kick, Bolt 3): No way, cheap slut!  
  
Marty (buries Sarusdi on the ground with some mighty kick): TAKE THIS,  
CRAZY HUNTRESS!  
  
?? 2: ...romance...  
  
Iris: Nevermind... so, X, won't we go out someday...? (Smiles)  
  
Zero: You keep seducing her. Bastard!  
  
Marty (pushing Zero's left arm): No! Stick with me! Me! Let's have  
blonde kids!  
  
Sarusdi (pushing Zero's right arm): C'mon Zero dear! Marry me!  
  
??: ...unanswered questions...  
  
Shin: X has hair?  
  
Shin: Reploids make hot hot sex?  
  
Shin: Is there anyone listening to me?  
  
?? 2: ... YAOI...  
  
??: Wait a second, I'm not doing it!  
  
?? 2: I know, this is just to get more female readers.  
  
??: Oh.  
  
Zero (spots X): OH! X-Y, X-Y! (runs to X)  
  
X: I have a bad feeling about this.  
  
Shin: Because of the flowers he's holding or the t-shirt saying "I  
dig Bishounens?"  
  
??: ... YURI...  
  
?? 2: More male readers, right?  
  
??: No, I was thinking about Yuri Sakazaki. But since you brought it  
up, it's true.  
  
?? 2: Oh.  
  
(Iris is jumping around cheerfully, holding Alia's hands. Alia is  
jumping too.)  
  
Shin: ...Iris paired up with Alia?  
  
?? 2: ...homophobia...  
  
Vile and Colonel (look at each other, then nods): KILL YAOI FANGIRLS!!!  
  
??: You IDIOT!  
  
?? 2: What? What have I done?  
  
??: Screwed up with this!  
  
?? 2: But it's in the story!  
  
??: You didn't need to show it on the trailer! Now 50% or 100% of the  
female readers won't read or will stop there, even though there's a  
context and whatnot for such a rude phrase. And of course, there will  
come flaming!  
  
?? 2: Let's just erase it!  
  
??: We're LIVE.  
  
?? 2: Shit.  
  
??: Let me try to continue.   
  
Colonel: KILL HENTAI / YURI FANBOY!  
  
?? 2: Good 'redemption'.  
  
??: Put your voice back to trailer narration, idiot.  
  
?? 2: Okay. Ahem. Explosions...  
  
X : (BLOWS UP)  
  
Sigma: (Blows Up)  
  
Earth: (Blows Up)  
  
??: ...your favorite villains...  
  
Byte: Kill X.  
  
Bit: Kill X.  
  
Vile: Kill X.  
  
Double: Spy, THEN kill X.  
  
Colonel: Kill Zero and bring independence to our reploidic race!  
  
?? 2: ...and we show just how great friends X and Zero are.  
  
Zero (punches X on the face, then draws out Z-Saber, points at X's   
neck): Come again?  
  
Zero (punches X on the face): No!  
  
Zero (punches X on the face): Watch your mouth, mutha fugha!  
  
Zero (teleports in): Aaah! (punches X, then teleports out)  
  
(Black Screen - then white big letters begin to appear zooming in)  
  
M E G A M A N X : E X T R E M E U N S T A B I L I T Y M A X I M U M  
  
COMING SOON.  
  
(dramatic music ends)  
  
?? 2: Well, it wasn't so bad, was it?  
  
??: I guess it was.  
  
?? 2: Only if I could know who I am.  
  
??: Ditto. 


	3. Episode #001- IT IS THE END OF THE WORLD...

Mega Man X: XTREME UNSTABILITY MAXIMUM  
(Or for short, call it the weird doodle's fic movie. But it's not an  
actual movie, it's not on theaters. It's just a long file. I guess.)  
Everything you love to hate is here! Fan made characters. Crossovering.  
Author-inserting. Character-reviving. Major twisting. 20XX-returning.  
Manga character references. And so on.  
  
BEGIN THE MADNESS  
=================  
(Unknown figure standing among some wreckage)  
??: I've done it! I cloned the worse enemies of X! And after they beat  
him, I'll take over the Universe! Because that's what all the villains  
in the X series want.  
  
Vile (pops out from nowhere): Crap, I'm back AGAIN?! Please tell me  
it's not a bad fanfiction.  
  
??: It's actually an AWFUL one.  
  
Vile: Shit.  
  
??: I also revived Double! Colonel! And Bit and Byte! Now go you all  
fuse with each other.  
  
Double (from the same place Vile came): Fuse ourselves? What the hell  
do you mean?  
  
??: To fuse your bodies into one, bozo.  
  
Colonel: No way. We're gonna destroy Zero and X on our own! For we are  
the Repli-cloned Force! The most powerful army in a bad fanfic!  
  
ALL: YAY!  
  
Bit: I wish I could say something, but Doppler didn't give me and Byte  
personality. So we're just gonna storm out from here. Right, Byte?  
  
Byte: Kill X.  
  
Bit: Kill X.  
  
Vile: Kill X.  
  
Double: Spy, THEN kill X.  
  
Colonel: Kill Zero and bring independence to our reploidic race!  
  
(They storm out from the wreckage and head to the Hunter Base.)  
  
??: Oh crap. Wait. What's this laying down this wreck? A piece of  
paper. And it says... "Mega Man X: Specifications". Hmmm... very  
interesting... Hee Hee Hee... I've learned how to destroy you, X! Hah  
Hah hah hah!  
  
MEGA MAN X - EXTREME UNSTABILITY MAXIMUM  
MOVIE EPISODE #001:  
"IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD AS WE KNOW IT, AND I DON'T CARE."  
  
Hunter Base.  
  
Zero (walking): Ah, it's such a nice day.  
  
Iris (comes by, walking, then waves to Zero): Hiya, Zero!  
  
Zero (waves to Iris): Hi Iris.  
  
X (sat nearby, is confused): Hmmm... something is strange.  
  
Zero: What is it, X?  
  
X: Don't you find funny that Colonel's dead, and Iris is not insane  
yet?  
  
Zero: HUH?!  
  
Sarusdi (female huntress. Fanmade. Walks by. Lay off. Caffeine.): Hiya  
Zero! You hot punk!  
  
Iris: ...! How dare she...?  
  
Zero: ?! Who's she, X?  
  
X: I dunno.  
  
Sarusdi: I'm a fan made character! And Ze-ro will fall in love with  
me-e! (giggles and hugs Zero)  
  
Zero: Wait a sec, Iris is still alive!  
  
Sarusdi: Ah, the author will work it out. I know he will.  
  
Author: No, I won't.  
  
Zero: Self insertion. This can't get any worse.  
  
Author: Yes, it can. I've been prived of my heavenly powers. I'm no  
longer controlling the story, I'm just a single character that can be  
controlled by the one who's typing these random words in the way he'd  
like most. Marshmallows. (drools)  
  
Zero: What do you think about this, Iris? (wanting to repel Sarusdi)  
  
Iris: Hmm, what did you say, honey? I wasn't listening, I was  
undressing X with the power of my mind.  
  
Zero (eyes pops out): !!  
  
X (eyes pops out, gets red): !!  
  
Sarusdi: (smiles)  
  
X(to Iris): Huh... you see, I'm really flattered by what you think, but  
I'm already engaged with Marty. (gets Marty Gibson from off-screen.)  
  
Marty: Don't worry, X! The author knows almost nothing about me, so  
he's gonna get rid of me one way or another!  
  
Author: Weren't you listening?! I can't do anything anymore!  
  
Marty: Uhh... then change your name from 'Author' from something more  
appropriate, since you can't do things an Author could.  
  
X (nods): Yeah, Marty is right.  
  
Author: Okay. Shin.  
  
All: Shin.  
  
Shin: It worked. Amusing trick.  
  
Marty: Oh yea, I remembered why I'm bumping you, X-baby. (smiles and  
blinks) I wanna marry Zero.  
  
X, Zero and Sarusdi (shocked): WHAT?!  
  
Marty: I want all my kids to have blonde hair. And since you don't have  
blond hair, and our geno and fenotypes can create non-blonde kids, I  
prefer to stick with Zero and have only blond children!  
  
Shin: X has hair?  
  
Sarusdi (angered): NO ONE TAKES MY ZERO!!!  
  
Shin: Reploids reproduce?  
  
Marty (shouts back): He's not even yours!!  
  
Shin: Reploids make hot hot sex?  
  
Iris: (keeps staring at X)  
  
X: (stares at Iris, clears throat intimidated)  
  
Shin: Is there anyone listening to me?  
  
Zero (raises hand): I.  
  
Shin: So why don't you answer?  
  
Zero: Can't.  
  
Shin: Why?  
  
Marty & Sarusdi: #@^!%^#:@;;W@!!()! (spanking each other)  
  
?? (pops out of nowhere to X): Hello, X.  
  
X: Sigma!!  
  
Zero (looking from side to side): What?! Where?!  
  
Shin: Someone answer me already, damn it.  
  
Iris: X, take me.  
  
Zero: WHA?!  
  
X: Hang on Iris, I'm on to stop a world domination scheme once more.  
  
Zero (punches X on the face, then draws out Z-Saber, points at X's   
neck): Come again?  
  
X (sweatdrop): Let go.  
  
Shin: Helloooo?  
  
Marty: ZERO IS MINE, BITCH!  
  
Sigma: Excuse me?  
  
Sarusdi: NO HE ISN'T, WHORE!  
  
Zero: Regret those words you just said.  
  
Shin: Duuudes.  
  
X: No.  
  
Sigma: Do you remember me? I'm Sigma. Don't leave me alone just like  
that.  
  
Iris (keeps staring X, licks her lips): Oh, X...  
  
Zero: (draws Beam Saber even closer to X's neck)  
  
X: (points Buster to Zero)  
  
Marty (buries Sarusdi on the ground with some mighty kick): TAKE THIS,  
CRAZY HUNTRESS!  
  
Sarusdi (gets off from her 'coffin', flies and aims at Marty): YOU  
TAKE THIS! (starts charging hands and puts one of them forward): BIG  
BANG ATTACK!!!!  
  
Marty (holds the attack with her hands): What!!  
  
Shin: Boy, she can perform DBZ moves. Turning out as bad crossover,  
too.  
  
Zero: C'MON! REGRET WHAT YOU SAID!  
  
Sigma (turns to Shin): Quite amusing.  
  
X: You go tell Iris to give up on me, then!  
  
Shin: Sigma? You care about me. I'm emotioned.  
  
Zero (punches X on the face): No! YOU are the one guilty!  
  
Sigma: Yeah, everyone is too concerned about their very own little  
business to mind us.  
  
X (nose bleeding due to constant punching): WHAT?!  
  
Shin: What did you just find out and that you were going to tell X?  
  
Zero: You keep seducing her. Bastard!  
  
Sigma: I discovered how to destroy him instantly.  
  
X: I can't even say her name without you giving me a punch!  
  
Shin: Oh?  
  
Zero: Liar!  
  
Sigma: Damn! What am I doing, talking my plot to one of the good guys!  
Now you're simply going to tell X to run!  
  
X: Iris.  
  
Shin (nods negatively): Nope.  
  
Zero (punches X on the face): Watch your mouth, mutha fugha!  
  
Sigma (confused): Huh?  
  
X (holding his face): What did I say?!  
  
Shin: They didn't care to ask my question. F*** 'em.  
  
Sigma: Hee Hee Hee. Ah, Shin... you're most impressive!  
  
Iris: Oh... I can't hold this any longer. Where's the nearest bathroom?  
  
Zero & X: (nosebleeds a waterfall at Iris' comment)  
  
Zero (notices X's nosebleeding too, then punches him again): PERVERT!  
NO FANTASIZING ABOUT IRIS!  
  
Shin (nosebleeding as well): I'm just a man of love, Sigma.  
  
X (really pissed off but still nosebleeding): WATCH YOUR FACE BEFORE  
POINTING MINE, JACKASS!  
  
Marty: (sends ki blast back to Sarusdi) AND TAKE THIS! KA - ME - HA -  
ME - HAAAAAAAAAA! (does the mumbo-jumbo, throws at Sarusdi)  
  
Zero: WHO DID YOU JUST CALL A JACKASS?!  
  
Shin (whiping blood of his nose): I think the readers are probably  
confused. Too many parallel dialogues.  
  
Sigma: Tell me about it!! And we didn't even fix the Repli-cloned Force  
mess yet!  
  
Shin (finishes whiping nose): Yeah, that too. Did you also notice  
Sarusdi is a CAT-GIRL? With tails and everything else?  
  
Sigma: I did.  
  
Shin: HOW is that Mega Man X - related?  
  
Sigma (shrugs): I dunno. She's also a Final Fantasy character.  
  
Shin: ?!  
  
Sigma (points to Sarusdi)  
  
Sarusdi (raises her hands)ESPER BAHAMUT! I SUMMON THEE! (Bahamut shows  
up and blocks the two attacks Marty sent Sarusdi) Now... BOLT 3!!!  
  
Shin (smacks his own forehead): This can't get any worse, absolutely.  
  
Sigma (looks to his watch): Damn, I can't wait more time here. It's  
almost time for dinner.  
  
Shin: Reploids eat?  
  
Sigma: I, as a virus, eat Reploids. You know, I consume their bodies  
and stuff.  
  
Shin: Interesting.  
  
Zero: SOO? I'M WAITING!!  
  
X (finishes whiping his nose of all the blood): Can't you seal this  
after we finish off Sigma one more time?  
  
Zero (puts Beam Saber down): Sure! Beating up Sigma is always cool!  
  
Sigma: Ooh, finnaly.  
  
Shin (pats Sigma on the back): Give 'em hell, polecat.  
  
X: What do you want, Sigma?!  
  
Sigma: I just did research about you, and produced a tremendous result.  
  
X: Really? What did you find out?  
  
Sigma: Your TRUE name.  
  
Dr. Light hologram (pops out from nowhere): Nooo! X, watch out!! Don't  
listen to what he says!  
  
Sigma: SILENCE!!! (knocks the Dr. Light hologram on the ground)  
  
Shin: This hologram is SOLID?!  
  
Dr. Light: No!  
  
Sigma: Then I'm infecting you. (glows purple, infects Dr. Light with  
the Sigma Virus.)  
  
X: My creator! (looks at Dr. Light, but does nothing else than that.)  
  
Zero: (stays on silence, wondering where Iris went)  
  
Dr. Light (getting dizzy): BRZZZ.... RBZZ.Z.... YEAA BABY. I AM THE  
KING OF DA DISCO. YA WANNA SEE IT? SO C'MON. NOW IT'S TIME FOR GREAT  
BALLS OF FIRE! (starts performing the song)  
  
Shin: So THAT is how the Virus works on humans? Scary.  
  
Marty (comes flying through some wall, battling Sarusdi): HE'S GONNA  
BE MINE, BITCH!  
  
Sarusdi (kick, punch, kick, Bolt 3): No way, cheap slut!  
  
Shin: Just now I noted... CATFIGHT. WOOOO. (sits down and starts  
watching Sarusdi and Marty fighting)  
  
X: Sigmaa! How dare you infect Dr. Light! I'm so killing you now!  
  
Sigma: Wait, X! I know your true name, forgot?! Dr. Light didn't want  
me to tell you that!  
  
Zero (shouting): Iris! Iris! Iriss! Where are you?  
  
X: So go ahead and tell it. I'm not afraid.  
  
Sigma (laughs): Your true name... is XHANATOS.  
  
X (shocked): WHAT?!?!  
  
Sigma (looking evil): C'mon, try it. Say it. 'I AM XHANATOS.'  
  
X (disturbed): Why are you daring me?!  
  
Sigma: Won't say? Chickening out already?!  
  
X (angry): Shut up! "I am Xhanatos!" Satisfie... (BLOWS UP)  
  
Sigma: WAH HAA HAA! I EARNED IT!!! Did you see it, Shin?! Shin?  
  
Shin (sat down, watching Marty and Sarusdi, and eating popcorn): Yeah,  
yeah, I did. Good job. Now take over the world.  
  
Sigma (mumbles angrily): Bitch.  
  
Shin: I heard that.  
  
Sigma: I don't care.  
  
Shin: Neither do I.  
  
Sigma: Fine.  
  
Shin: I really don't.  
  
Sigma: Yeah. Now, how will I reveal how I discovered this bug in X's  
programming?  
  
Zero (conveniently comes back in time to be an excuse for explanation)  
I still don't know where is Iri... WHAT! X! My friend! How could Sigma  
do this to you?! (staring at X's corpse)  
  
Sigma: Wah haa haa! I found this text file somewhere nearby the Hunter  
Base! (shows Zero the paper he found on the beggining of the 'story')  
"Mega Man X Specification  
Head: Helmet.  
Body: Chest Armor.  
Arms: X Buster with some variable stuff. Not if that matters.  
Legs: Emergency Acceleration System, E.A.S, but since it's too hard to  
pronounce, call it 'DASH'.  
Read 'Warning'  
Warning.txt:  
"Hey, this is Dr. Thomas Light. No, my middle name is not Xavier. Where  
do people attribute that from? Anyway, this means you found the capsule  
for Xanathos. Since his head was overloaded with information that  
would make him to be able to think by himself, I had to rename Xanathos  
of simply 'X', or he'd blow up when he tries to say his name. If you're  
some whacky scientist, do not the hell open up this capsule and  
reproduce Xanathos until it reaches 30 years since his enclausuring  
date. 'X' possesses great risks and great possibilities. If he f***s up  
the world, the problem is yours.  
Love,  
Thomas Light, 20XX"  
  
Zero (finishes reading): Ahh, the infamous MXS.txt file. When we were  
out of higienic paper, we used to print this and use the printer paper  
instead. Because Dr. Cain wouldn't allow us to use printer paper  
without printing something on it. What a whacky guy.  
  
Sigma: Tell me about it, he's my dad.  
  
Zero (nods. Then draws out Beam Saber): BUT YOU KILLED X! Now, prepare  
for punishment!  
  
Sigma: No, Zero! You were destined to follow me!  
  
Zero: You tried this already. Die. (cuts Sigma in half)  
  
Sigma: Waaaah! How could he kill me so easy!! (blows up.)  
  
Zero: One-hit kill? Boy, that was sure easy.  
  
Dr. Cain (Comes walking by): Oh no, X's been killed! We must travel  
back in time in order to ressurect him!  
  
Zero (turns to Cain): Dr. Cain? Here?  
  
Shin (walks by throwing away the empty popcorn can): Why, is there a  
problem? Besides that people sells popcorn CANs in 21XX, of course.  
  
Zero (turns to Shin): Yeah, Cain never showed up after X3.  
  
Shin: Yeah. And Colonel's dead, what puts us on X4 before the Final  
Weapon confrontation.  
  
Zero: But Iris is still alive and isn't mad. Then where are we, so we  
can go back in time and resurrect X?  
  
Shin: Wait, I get it. SMALL-GAP-BEFORE-IRIS-LEARNS-OF-COLONEL'S-DEATH!  
That's where we are.  
  
Zero: Ah, I see.  
  
Iris (comes walking by): Did anyone mention my now dead brother?  
  
Dr. Cain: Well, that just ruined your point.  
  
Shin (bows his head): Damn. (sniffles the air) Iris, you're smelling  
funny. What...  
  
(IMMINENT FLASHBACK STRIKES ON Shin, Zero and X's minds:  
"Iris: Oh... I can't hold this any longer. Where's the nearest  
bathroom?")  
  
Shin, Zero & X: (nosebleeds waterfalls)  
  
Zero (notices Shin's nosebleeding, then punches him on the ground like  
there's no tomorrow): PERVERT! PERVERT! PERVERT! IS THIS WORLD FULL OF  
PERVERTS!  
  
Shin (almost deformed by Zero's punches): Pain.  
  
X (getting up, but very hurt): Guys? Do... anyone notice me? I'm not  
dead yet, I'm fine... sorta.  
  
Dr. Cain: Let's setup the time travelling machine! And go back moments  
before Sigma did that to X!  
  
Iris: What? What happened to my beloved X?  
  
Zero (Stops punching Shin): !!  
  
Shin (no teeth left on mouth): FHANK YOO, GAWD.  
  
X (starts waving at Iris): I'm fine, I'm here!  
  
Dr. Cain: Sigma just blew him up.  
  
Iris: Noooo! Poor X!  
  
Zero: Doc, I have a better idea. Let's NOT travel back in time and save  
X. Leave the blue boy dead.  
  
X: I'm alive!  
  
Dr. Cain: Zero! Why are you saying this? You two are almost brothers!  
  
Zero: We won't save X. Understood?  
  
X: But I'm alive!  
  
Dr. Cain: But...  
  
Zero (points Beam Saber to Dr. Cain): We WON'T. Understood?  
  
Dr. Cain: Yeah, fine. Whatever.  
  
Shin (gets up from the ground): Damn Zero. (spots X) X, I thought you  
died. Dead can't nosebleed, so you must be alive.  
  
X: Why only you noted me?  
  
Shin: I guess that's the special power I was given when people prived  
me of my 'Author' status. To talk with those left on the background.  
  
X: Ah. (falls to the ground, knocked by Marty)  
  
Sarusdi (falls on top of Marty): HAHAHAHA! YOU SEE? I AM THE ULTIMATE  
COMPANION FOR ZERO! Because I don't have a 'goofy dress'! Now where is  
he? (Goes off flying)  
  
X (almost smashed by Marty's body and Sarusdi): Pain.  
  
Shin: Catgirl, that uses DBZ moves, Final Fantasy moves, and whatever  
else it comes to mind, falls in love with Zero and tries to make him  
fall in love with her. Boy, this is pretty f***ed up right here.  
  
(Somewhere else, in a dark alley of the Hunter base.)  
  
Vile: ...kill X!  
  
Colonel: ...kill ZERO!  
  
Vile: KILL X!  
  
Colonel: KILL ZERO!  
  
Vile: X!  
  
Colonel: ZERO!  
  
Vile: XXXX!  
  
Colonel: ZEROOOO!  
  
Random fangirls, walking by: Oh, see... they're calling the ones they  
love to an orgy. How sweet! (giggles like anime girls)  
  
Vile and Colonel (look at each other, then nods): KILL YAOI FANGIRLS!!!  
(heads to attack 'em)  
  
Fangirls: AAAAAH!!!!  
  
(ANOTHER alley on the Hunter Base)  
  
Bit: Okay, it's been three hours since we split in two groups of three.  
  
Double: You idiot, Vile and Colonel aren't three persons. We're in  
three because I told you to dismiss that two stupid robots.  
  
Bit: Errrm... yeah, fine. Anyway, we must kill X. But how was X again?  
I don't remember him.  
  
Byte (troubled): Yeah, me neither.  
  
Double (angered): He was BLUE! And...  
  
Bit: Blue. I get it! Let's go, Byte! (dashes off)  
  
Byte (follows Bit): Okay!  
  
Double: Idiots.  
  
(A little while later, somewhere else, still Hunter Base)  
  
Reploid: Do you like my new blue armor?  
  
Female Reploid: Oh! You look so pretty in that!  
  
Bit (spots the Reploid): WE FOUND HIM! KILL X!  
  
Reploid: What?! (Dies cut in half by Bit's shield)  
  
Byte (spots a Blue Hunter): ANOTHER X!!! KILL X!  
  
Blue Hunter from the ending of X5: Me? (Dies crushed by Byte in a wall)  
  
Bit (spots more Reploids wearing blue): Damn! X is EVERYWHERE!  
  
Byte: MUST KILL MORE Xes!  
  
Double (watches by safe distance): Jesus, now those are idiots.  
  
(The place where Zero, X, and everybody else were quarreling.)  
  
Sarusdi (pushing Zero's right arm): C'mon Zero dear! Marry me!  
  
Marty (pushing Zero's left arm): No! Stick with me! Me! Let's have  
blonde kids!  
  
Zero (sighs): Leave me alone. I'm depressed.  
  
Sarusdi (angry): Because of that annoying bitch?! You shouldn't!  
  
Zero (eyes burning with unholy fire): WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL IRIS?  
  
Shin: Boy, that's gonna hurt. I think I'm gonna grab a beer. You guys  
sell beer around here?  
  
Dr. Cain: What's beer?  
  
Shin: Stuff you drink and drives you mad. Then you get to your senses  
again and puke like there's no tomorrow.  
  
Dr. Cain: Interesting.  
  
Shin: But you should know that. You're a drunk punk in Iwamoto's  
stuff.  
  
Dr. Cain: But I drink Saké, not beer. I guess. I already forgot what I  
drink. (blinks. Long pause, then looks at Shin again) Who are you?!  
  
Shin: Yeah, whatever.  
  
(Unknown figure emerges from nowhere. Again.)  
  
Dr. Cain: Now that's just amazing. One more "??" guy. Who are you?  
  
?? guy: Tell me where is Mega Man!  
  
Shin: You mean X?  
  
?? guy: Whatever. Where is he?  
  
Shin (points to inside the Hunter Base): Go there and be happy.  
  
?? guy: Bwa ha ha! I'm finally going to get my revenge on him!  
  
Dr. Cain: Shin, you should stop stealing the spotlight. You're fanmade.  
  
Shin: I'm not quite fanmade. I'm a former Author imprisoned by the  
current Autor in this. And since he's a lazy bastard, instead of using  
the other characters, he uses me to do his bidding.  
  
Dr. Cain: If you're not the Author, who's writing this now?  
  
Shin: Good question. (crosses arms and looks up)  
  
(Inside Hunter Base)  
  
?? guy: Mega Man! I found you! Prepare to die!  
  
X: You're talking to me?  
  
?? guy: Yes I am! Don't you remember me?! PROTO MAN!  
  
X: No, I really don't remember you.  
  
Proto Man: You were the one guilty for my death! Prepare for  
punishment! (starts beating X up)  
  
X (helpless): Wow, now this guy is quite strong.  
  
(Whistle comes around)  
  
?? guy 2: You're not Proto Man, you shameful liar!  
  
Proto Man: Oh no!  
  
X: What the hell is going on?  
  
?? guy 2: *I* AM PROTO MAN. (falls from nowhere and kicks Proto Man on  
the face.) DYNAMO. AND YOU'RE GOING TO FALL, UNHOLY ROBOT!  
  
"Proto Man": Then battle me, Light creation!  
  
(They both engage into fighting)  
  
X: Boy, now this is reaching the epythome of...  
  
Dr. Cain: X, just now I noticed there's an ongoing massacre of blue  
reploids on the Base. You should watch out, because you're blue.  
  
X (shocked): What?  
  
The crap isn't over yet, and not half of the half of the questions have  
been answered. Don't miss our next episode, with even more crap.  
  
?? 2: Hey, what about DBZ-esque foreshadowings?  
  
??: Wild stuff!  
  
Next Episode  
  
X: Hi, I am X! What, Dr. Cain?! Blue reploids are being massacred?!  
  
Dr. Cain: Look! The Weather Control is malfunctioning!  
  
Iris: Oh, it's such a hot day here, I must take off all my clothes!  
  
Alia: Oh, me too, Iris. Wow, you have such a hot body!  
  
Shin: YURI! YURI! YURI! YUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRI!  
  
Zero: And who is this f***ing imposter?!  
  
Zero (?): I am the re-al Ze-ero, and I'm in lo-ove with X, mind you.  
  
X: Don't miss it! The next Mega Man X Unstability Xtreme episode will  
be...  
  
"THE ATTACK OF THE YAOI AND YURI COUNTERPARTS! MINDLESS SEXUAL FANFICS  
STRIKE THE GAME DIMENSION!"  
  
?? 2: Wow, we did great!  
  
??: Yeah, I love to make big titles like those japanese ones!  
"CONFLICT! HOPE! DEATH! WILL THE HEROES SURVIVE? THE WRATH OF THE  
VILLAIN!"  
  
?? 2: Okay. See you guys who are probably trying to kill Shin in the  
next episode.  
  
??: See ya! 


	4. Episode #002 - THE ATTACK OF THE YAOI AN...

Mega Man X: XTREME UNSTABILITY MAXIMUM   
  
Previously on "Xtreme Unstability Maximum":   
A fan made character tried to make Zero fall in love with her. Yes,   
HER. H- E- R. FEMALE. FE-MALE. GIRL. HETERO STUFF. AHAM. NUH HUH. YUP.   
While that, Marty also decided to try to do the dance of   
life with Zero so she would have only blonde kids. Not left on the dark   
is X, that all of sudden is loved by Iris and suffered a small   
destruction by the hands of Sigma that was cut in half by Zero which   
hurt the former Author, Shin, severely over and over, but it is not   
like that matters. We're trying to gain time just like in Dragon Ball   
Z if you didn't notice it. What, we're already over 19K? WOOHOO!   
For further info on whatever happened, read Episode 1, lazy-os. This   
bring us to..   
  
MOVIE EPISODE #002:   
"THE ATTACK OF THE YAOI AND YURI COUNTERPARTS! MINDLESS SEXUAL FANFICS   
STRIKE THE GAME DIMENSION!"   
  
(Cue Sunsuke Kikuchi making dramatical music while the narrator says   
the name of the episode.)   
  
This is the exact continuation of where we stopped.   
  
(Bathroom Area, Hunter Base)   
  
Shin: Boy, I gotta pee. (takes the female reploid room by accident)   
  
(Shin walks inside, and finds Iris and Alia wearing only towels.)   
  
Iris & Alia: WHAT?!   
  
Shin: Holy fuck. Did I die and go to heaven?   
  
Alia: Pervert alert! Pervert alert! (starts punching Shin)   
  
Shin: I hate when they say that! Wow, her towel is falling.   
  
Alia (picks up falling towel): Unf. Let's go report this, Iris!   
  
Iris: We would, but the door somehow is locked by outside!   
  
Alia & Shin: What?!!?   
  
(Control Room)   
(A blue reploid which was operating the locking and unlocking of such   
rooms is found dead, and when he died his hand fell on the controls,   
and he activated the locking of the mentioned female reploid bathroom.   
Needless to say, Bit spots YET another blue reploid.)   
  
Bit: HOLY GOD! YET ANOTHER X!   
  
Byte: DIE X!!!   
  
(Female Reploid bathroom)   
  
Iris (tries to force the door): Damn, all my clothes are outside!   
  
Alia (stands up, holding her towel): Yeah, mine too!   
  
Shin: Damn, this is too good to be true.   
  
Alia (turns around upset): Hey, human! Try to do something.   
  
Shin: Oh? Okay. (Heads to the door. Pretends he's forcing it.) Ahh! I   
can't! I... I broke my fist! Aaaah! (falls on ground 'screaming')   
  
(All of a sudden, the lights of the bathroom change to red, and the   
weather gets around 300 Kelvin.)   
  
Shin (thinking): I'm melting. Holy God.   
  
Iris: Wow, it's getting hot inside here, isn't it?   
  
Alia: Sure is. (starts waving her hand) I'm already sweating.   
  
Shin: Reploids sweat?   
  
Alia: Weren't your fists broken?   
  
Shin (surprised, goes back to acting): Aaaaaaaah!   
  
Iris: Oh, here is so hot, I'm taking off my towel.   
  
Shin (Nosebleeds immediately): Good God. A dream is being fulfilled.   
  
Iris (takes off towel, covers any erotic parts with her hands): Whew,   
it's much better now.   
  
Alia: You know what, Iris? I'm pretty hot, too. (does the same)   
  
Shin (suffocates on his own blood): Burglub.   
  
Iris: Would you like to rub some oil on my back, Alia? We might get a   
tan here...   
  
Alia: Sure would!   
  
Shin (crying): God exists... he's writing this fanfic.   
  
(Control Room. X and Dr. Cain arrives, a bit too late. Bit and Byte are   
gone already.)   
Dr. Cain: Damn!   
  
X: Look, all the bathroom doors have been locked by that reploid's   
hand! And the bathrooms weather are set to "Inferno" configuration!   
  
Dr. Cain: Nevermind, I'll fix this immediatelly!   
  
(Bathroom)   
  
Alia (puts oil on her hands)   
  
Iris (lays down leaving her back to Alia)   
  
Shin: HOLD IT HOLD IT HOLD IT HOLD IT. MUSTGETCAMERA.MUSTGETALSOANEW-   
PAIROFUNDERPANTSANDPANTSBECAUSETHISISDEPRESSING,BUTVERYHOT.OHDEARGOD.   
  
Alia (hands get closer to Iris' back)   
  
Iris (blinks)   
  
Shin (eyebrows trembling, sweating cold like there's no tommorow): Dis   
is... fucking amazing... Iris... and... Alia... MUSTGETCAMERAMUSTGET-   
ALSOANEWPAIROFUNDERPATSANDPATNSBECAUSETHEYRERUINEDDAMNITKEEPSHAPPENING!   
  
(Lights go white again, weather gets normal, and an unlocking sound is   
heard on the door)   
  
Alia: Oh, everything is unlocked. (even though her hands are full of   
oil, she picks her towel, dresses up and starts walking off) Let's go,   
Iris?   
  
Iris: Sure. (smiles, picks up towel, and leaves)   
  
Shin (crying): NOOOOOOOOOOOO! WHAT HAVE I DONE, GOD? WHAT? WHY DID YOU   
TAKE THIS AWAY FROM ME, WHY? WHYYYYYYYYY? NO THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!   
THERE'S NO REASON FOR ME TO GO ON! WHAT! WHAT AM I FIGHTING FOOOOOR...   
OOoh, boobies!   
  
Female Huntress: Pervert! Shut up! (Knocks Shin out and kicks him out   
of the bathroom)   
  
Shin (laid down): Like _Faster would say... "The teclado is gozed. This   
is depriment." (I know you don't get it. It's an inside joke.)   
  
(Control Room)   
  
Dr. Cain: Huh, X?   
  
X: Yeah, what's up, doc?   
  
Dr. Cain: We left Proto Man and Dyna... I mean, Proto Man, fighting on   
the Main Hall.   
  
X: True. Do you want some cookies? I'm gonna get some.   
  
Dr. Cain: Sure bet.   
  
(Zero's Room)   
  
Zero (crying, a tear drops on the Iris picture he's holding): Why...   
why things must be this way...   
  
(Outside, Marty and Sarusdi try to get inside)   
  
Marty: Zeroooooooo! Open up! C'mon!   
  
Sarusdi: Yes, Zerooo!   
  
Zero (shouts): Leave me alone. Leave me alone!   
  
(City near the Hunter Base, called 'Blue Reploid Town'. The 'Welcome'   
message says "Welcome to BRP, your first stop for Blue Reploids".)   
  
Bit & Byte: AAAAAH!!!! PLACE FULL OF Xes!!!!!!   
  
Blue Reploids: GWaaaah!!! (Splat)   
  
(Cookie Store. X arrives.)   
  
Salesman: What do you want, bud?   
  
X: Two boxes of cookies, please.   
  
Salesman: Coming.   
  
Iris (appears): Hi-ya, X!   
  
X (blushes): uh.... Hi, Iris...   
  
Zero (teleports in): Aaah! (punches X, then teleports out)   
  
X (holds mouth): What was that...?   
  
Iris: Nevermind... so, X, won't we go out someday...? (Smiles)   
  
X: Uh, errm... well... since Marty doesn't want me anymore, I...   
  
Shin (comes walking by): Iris, I never thought you were so slutty!   
First Zero, then X, then Alia, then back to X! Oooh, nice bathroom   
memories. Damn, I STILL need a bathroom.   
  
X & Iris (shocked): WHAT?!   
  
Shin: What? Humans have to pee, you know...   
  
Iris: No! What did you say? Me and Alia?   
  
Shin: Yeah. We got locked at the Female Reploid Bathroom... forgot?   
  
X: W- What is this?   
  
Iris: What kind of wild sick dream are you having, human?!   
  
Shin: It wasn't a dream! I saw it, and I'd have it taped!   
  
Iris: Liar! No one gets between me and my X!   
  
X: uh, guys...   
  
Shin: I'm not lying.   
  
X: Guys...   
  
Iris: YES YOU ARE!!   
  
X: GUYS!   
  
Iris & Shin: WHAT?!   
  
X: Look at the Main Screen. (Turn On.)   
  
Iris (looks at Screen): WTF?   
  
Shin (looks at Screen, too): OMFG.   
  
X: Let's go there. We have no time to lose! (dashes off)   
  
Iris: Wait, X! (goes after X)   
  
Salesman: Here are you cookies, sir! Uh? Where'd he go?   
  
Shin: He said that you should leave the cookies with me.   
  
Salesman: OKay, since he paid from them already.   
  
Shin: Rephrasing most of the existent Yaoi fangirls on the world...   
'TEE-HEE'! (opens box and goes to the Main Hall walking and eating)   
  
(Some even darker alley of the Hunter Base. Vile and Colonel makes a   
small camp with a tent, put one torch on middle of the room, start   
frying Marshmallows and telling stories.)   
  
Vile: ...and I was about to crush him into pieces, but ten hunters   
jumped on my neck!   
  
Colonel: Nuh huh.   
  
Vile: They caught me off-guard! But of course I killed all of 'em!   
  
Colonel: True.   
  
Vile: And I turned around to give the final attack to that bastard, but   
somehow even with all his bones broken, he stood up!   
  
Colonel (eats Marshmallows): Yes.   
  
Vile: And then that damn X just HAD to throw me into the... SOUL   
EATING FLOOR!   
  
Colonel: Soul Eating Floor...?   
  
Vile: Yeah! It... was one of those crazy inventions of that goat   
lookalike scientist! I fell on it and I died... because it ate my soul!   
  
Colonel: If that thing ate your soul, how are you back?   
  
Vile: ...hrm. Sigma... brought it back.   
  
Colonel: Oh. If he messes with SOULS, then I guess he's a GOD-like   
thing.   
  
Vile: Yeah, I guess.   
  
Colonel: Sure.   
  
Vile: Yeah.   
  
Colonel: Nuh huh.   
  
Vile: ...   
  
Colonel: ...   
  
(3 minutes passes.)   
  
Vile (suddenly snaps out of the ground): Oh yeah!!   
  
Colonel: Oh no.   
  
Vile: Did I tell you of the time I almost crushed X on my awesome first   
ride-armor?!   
  
Colonel: Around 666 times.   
  
Vile: Let me tell it again! I...   
  
Colonel: There we go.   
  
(Main Hall. Iris is jumping around cheerfully, holding Alia's hands.   
Then, X and Iris(?) arrives, and after 30 minutes, so does Shin.)   
  
X: OKay... what's going on here?   
  
Shin: Didn't I tell ya? (throws box of cookies away)   
  
Iris: Who is she?! How come she is my identical twin?!   
  
Iris(?): Who are YOU, I should say!   
  
Alia: Boy, this is complex. But two Irises... (smiles)   
  
Shin: They're driving me nuts here. And they know it.   
  
Zero (comes walking by one side): X-y, X-y, where is X-y?   
  
X: Zero? What is he doing here? He was supposed to be depressed in his   
room and just show up when I say I... ops.   
  
Zero (spots X): OH! X-Y, X-Y! (runs to X)   
  
X: I have a bad feeling about this.   
  
Shin: Because of the flowers he's holding or the t-shirt saying "I   
dig Bishounens?"   
  
X: Both, to say the truth.   
  
(Another City, near to the City near to the Hunter Base which is near   
to someplace safe enough of the Sigma Virus.)   
  
Bit: X! X! X! X DOESN'T DIE! HE IS EVERYWHERE!   
  
Byte: WE MUST KILL X!   
  
Bit: Is it just me, or we're serving a filling purpose?   
  
Byte: Hm, this is very interesting I should say. We're probably gaining   
time to some special event to take place.   
  
Bit: I knew it. It could be only this. They consider us useless... the   
secondary characters who help killing half hour of an episode!   
  
Byte: I am glad we're not a long series, like Dragon Ball Z. They'd   
spend 291 episodes on the current situation of the story.   
  
Bit: VERY true! Not to mean the appearance of the homossexual   
counterparts would take 3 episodes by itself!   
  
Byte: And the short situation at the Female's Bathroom would take a   
full episode. (Laughs)   
  
Bit (laughs as well): True. Well, we gotta go back to acting. Ready,   
Byte?   
  
Byte: Anytime.   
  
Bit (runs): ANOTHER X!   
  
Byte: MUST KILL MORE Xes!   
  
(Back to Main Hall, in the Zero runs to X scenario.)   
  
Shin: He's approaching.   
  
X: Man... what do I do?   
  
Shin: Try making a Soul Body copy of your current position and keep it   
there, then dash like hell while Zero hugs nothing.   
  
X: Sounds good enough to me. How did you think of that?   
  
Shin: One day you'll know. (grins) I'm outta here!   
  
X (activates Soul Body): Hah! (then, leaves the copy and runs)   
  
Zero (hugs the Soul Body copy): What? I really li-ike when you play   
with Soul Bodyy, X...   
  
X: WTF is wrong with him?!   
  
Iris: What is that coming from the corner?   
  
X (?) (comes from the corner): Zeroooo! Where are yooou?   
  
Zero (?) (spots X): X-y! THIS is the X-y I know! (Runs to X)   
  
X: WTF?!   
  
X (?): Zerooo! (Runs to Zero)   
  
Shin: ...THE HELL! I'm defenatly not seeing this here! BARRIER!   
  
(An invisible barrier is put between X(?) and Zero(?), so they can't   
reach each other)   
  
X: Wow, you could do that?   
  
Shin: I don't like using God moding powers... I don't!   
  
X (?): Wow, why couldn't I reach yo-ou?   
  
Zero (?): I guess that cute young boy created some-thing!   
  
Shin (shocked): DID YOU JUST CALL ME A BISHOUNEN?!   
  
X: Boy, this isn't looking good. I'm gonna call Dr. Cain!   
  
Zero (?): Yes, I di-id!   
  
Shin: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHRRRRRRRR! AAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!   
(dashes at Zero-?-)   
  
Iris (stops Shin): Don't! Don't you do anything to my best friend!   
  
Other Iris: Best friend?   
  
Zero(?): Ye-es.   
  
Shin: Let me guess... you're the Iris paired up with Alia.   
  
Iris (?): Yay! ^_^   
  
Shin: Damn. No matter what, I must listen to Iris.   
  
Iris: She isn't Iris! *I* am!   
  
Alia: No you're not! *SHE* is Iris!   
  
Shin: Both are cute enough for me.   
  
Zero (?): You are too-o! (smiles)   
  
Shin: HE'S DOING IT AGAIN! GREEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAH!!! (smoke starts to   
come off Shin's ears) Hey, I sound just like the Japanese Zero.   
GREEEEAAAAH! (more smoke comes out.)   
  
Iris: Boy, now THAT is someone pissed...   
  
(Zero's Room. A voice starts to talk on the Communicators of the Base)   
  
Voice: Emergency, emergency. There is a double of X on the Main Hall   
and also a double of Iris there. BTW, Zero's assumed he is gay.   
  
Marty, Sarusdi, Zero: WHADDAFRIKKINHELL?!   
  
Zero (unlocks the door, opens it, knocks out Marty and Sarusdi): I WILL   
GET THIS DAMN IMPOSTER! (walks off into distance)   
  
Marty: ...aw, he's such a man! (faints)   
  
(Main Hall. Zero, X and Dr. Cain arrive at the same time.)   
  
Shin: LET GO OF ME, IRIS! LET GO OF ME!!! GREEEEEAAAAAAAAAH!!! (enough   
smoke comes out and starts taking shape up up there)   
  
Iris (?): No!   
  
Zero: IMPOSTER! PREPARE TO DIE!   
  
Zero (?): What?!   
  
X (?): Another Zero? And there's this knock-off of me, too...   
  
X: You are the crazy copy here!   
  
Dr. Cain: Boy, we are in trouble.   
  
(Marty arrives from a corner.)   
  
Marty: Hi! Has anyone seen Teal?   
  
Zero: Teal?! She's gone!   
  
Alia: Oh, hi Marty! Still searching for her?   
  
Marty: Yeah, Alia! Oh, why is Iris holding that little boy?   
  
(Marty-?- and Sarusdi come from the same place Zero did)   
  
Marty(looks at the other Marty): WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!   
  
Sarusdi (spots the two Zeros) : TWO ZEROS? THIS IS TOO MUCH! MY   
HORMONES ARE CRAZY!   
  
Marty: ??! Alia, Iris, X, Zero... who is this double?   
  
X (?): They're all copying us!   
  
Zero (?): Yea-ah! We should puni-ish them!   
  
Zero (draws Beam Saber): Bring it on!   
  
X: Yeah! (charges Buster)   
  
Shin: LET ME GO, IRIS! LET ME GO!   
  
Dr. Cain: STOP IT!   
  
Everyone: ...   
  
Dr. Cain: Obviously, only I have enough I.Q. to understand what's going   
on here.   
  
Zero: And that is...?   
  
Dr. Cain: First of all, by the energy readings I just did, all these   
doubles of you are... your counterparts.   
  
Everyone: (shocked)   
  
Dr. Cain: See the pinky aura around them?   
  
X: Hey, just now I noted that!   
  
Shin: Hey... the Alia and Iris I saw at the bathroom had it, too!   
  
X: And you didn't even note it?   
  
Shin: I thought that was the effect of reploids getting turned on.   
  
X: ...   
  
Dr. Cain: You see, they ARE counterparts.   
  
Zero: Doc, is it just me or you came with this concept out of the   
blue?   
  
Dr. Cain: Look above, idiot.   
  
Zero (looks up): Hey, that's a dimensional void.   
  
Dr. Cain: Einstein. So you see, the counterparts have been leaking from   
alternate plans of existence to ours.   
  
X: And from which 'plan of existence' would they have come from?   
  
Dr. Cain: It all indicates they came from the Yaoi world.   
  
People-who-aren't-copies: YAOI WORLD?!   
  
Dr. Cain: It's a paradoxal dimension to ours, where there exists   
counterparts who are all homosexual.   
  
Shin: Really? Even YOU got one, Doc!   
  
Dr. Cain: ??   
  
Shin: (points to a place)   
  
Dr. Cain (?) (appears from nowhere): Hyyyy! I'm gay! (dances)   
  
Dr. Cain (anger): If I COULD kill him...   
  
Shin: You can't?   
  
Dr. Cain: No. The counterparts are us, and we are the counterparts.   
  
Shin: Nuh huh. Explain it simple.   
  
Dr. Cain (sighs): If you kill the counterpart, the actual character   
dies.   
  
Shin: Holy hell. Did you notice something, though, Doc?   
  
Dr. Cain: What is it?   
  
Shin: YOU ALL got counterparts, except for me and Sarusdi! HA HA HA!   
WE'RE THE EPYTHOME OF STRAIGHTNESS! Care to join me in the dance of   
victory, Sarusdi?   
  
Sarusdi: Sure! (smiles and runs to Shin)   
  
Shin & Sarusdi (dancing around): We got no doubles! We got no doubles!   
We got no doubles!   
  
Original Cast: Rage.   
  
(The Smoke that came off from Shin's body takes form, and it falls to   
the ground. It's a Shin with a black armor.)   
  
Black Shin: Hi there.   
  
Shin: We got no do... NO! THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!   
  
Black Shin: Ha, Ha, Ha! I am your evil counterpart, Nihs.   
  
Shin: Fuck. I guess you're my exact opposite, the being I most dispite   
in the face of the Universe.   
  
Nihs: No, I'm just you and your likes. But evil.   
  
Shin: Really?   
  
Nihs: Yes. I was formed from your rage. I would be GREEN to be your   
so-hated-person.   
  
Shin: I feel better. I thought you were going to be like that Elf   
counterpart in Magic Knight Rayearth. She and Hikaru laid down ruled,   
though. Hee hee hee.   
  
Nihs: We already spent lots of space describing your drama. Back to   
the main characters.   
  
Shin: Ok...   
  
X: Okay, Dr. Cain, but why are these Yaoi counterparts coming to OUR   
realm?   
  
Dr. Cain: Well, a dimensional abnormality could open voids to paralell   
dimensions and they would leak from their home plane of existence to   
ours.   
  
Shin (thinking): Kuso. I'm a dimensional abnormality. They will   
probably kill me! Wait a second... I yelled Kuso. SHIT!   
  
Zero: So, we gotta put these characters back to their home realm, close   
the void, and then eliminate the Dimensional Abnormality, right?   
  
Dr. Cain: Right, but I still don't know what or where is the original   
Dimensional Abnormality.   
  
Zero: No problem. As long as there are no more Yaoi doppelgangers we'll   
be fine.   
  
Shin (thinking): Oh, I'm fine then. But if I'm attracting more   
abnormalities, there's an even bigger risk!   
  
Nihs: Nuh huh. THAT is scary.   
  
Shin: You know what I'm thinking?   
  
Nhis: 'course. I'm YOU, forgot?!   
  
Yaoi & Yuri Counterparts: *AHEM*   
  
Shin and Nihs: Oh yeah, we completely forgot about them...   
  
Zero: Whatever. Listen, counterparts, you have your own home world,   
don't you?   
  
Yaoi X (nods): Yep, Ze-ero.   
  
Zero: So, please return there. If you keep yourselves here, reality   
may shatter itself as Dr. Cain said.   
  
Yaoi Zero: Awww! But I like it here so mu-uch!   
  
Yuri Iris: Me too!   
  
Yuri Alia: Yeah! Me too!   
  
Yuri Marty: Teaaaal? Where are you?   
  
X: Now we're on trouble. How are we gonna make 'em enter their void?   
  
Nihs (raises hands): I may have a solution.   
  
Everyone including Shin: HUH?!   
  
Nihs: C'mere, Dr. Cain. (whispers on Cain's ear) ...if you get 'em   
there, we'd easily send 'em back.   
  
Dr. Cain: Makes enough sense to me.   
  
Nihs: OKay. I'm gonna buy our little... gift. Be sure to get them on   
the room by that time! (walks off)   
  
Dr. Cain (nods): Fine. (turns to Counterparts) Hey, counterparts!   
  
Yaoi and Yuri Counterparts: What?   
  
Dr. Cain: You want to see something amazing?   
  
Y & Y Counterparts: (nods)   
  
X: What the hell is he planning to do?   
  
Zero: No clue.   
  
Iris: As long as they get rid of those horrid copies...   
  
Sarusdi: Tell me about it. My Zero... with X?! (Shivers)   
  
Marty: YOURS my donkey.   
  
Shin: I just love when they fight over a guy. I wonder what Nihs is   
going to do...   
  
Dr. Cain: So follow me to the Training Room! (Walks)   
  
Yaoi Zero: O-kay. Is the pretty boy coming, too?   
  
Shin (eyes turns red): I AM NOT TAKING THIS ANYMORE!   
GREEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! (Yes, JZero voice. Dashes)   
  
Zero (teleports in front of Shin) You kill him, and you'll kill me.   
  
Shin: I don't mind.   
  
Zero: I do. (Knocks Shin on the ground.)   
  
Shin (kisses the ground): Fine. YAOI LOVA!   
  
Zero (anger): What, you think I like this?   
  
Shin: If you don't, kill him!   
  
Zero: Can't. That would be suicide.   
  
Shin: How can you know Cain is 100% right? C'mon. Try it. (evil grin)   
  
Zero: Hrrr... grrr!   
  
Nihs (comes walking by): What are you two doing way back there?   
Everybody is at the Training Room already.   
  
Shin: WTF are you holding?   
  
Nihs: Heh, it's the key to send those copies back to where they came.   
  
Zero: Fine. Let's go already. (dashes off)   
  
(Vile and Colonel's tent)   
  
Vile: ...Colonel!   
  
Colonel: What?   
  
Vile: I'm disappointed with your conduct as leader of our group.   
  
Colonel: Since when am I a leader?   
  
Vile: We would strike X and Zero already, but nooo, you and your   
strategies.   
  
Colonel: You were the one saying "Let's camp here and relax a little."   
  
Vile: That does it. I'm challenging you for the leadership of our   
group. Are you ready?   
  
Colonel: Tsc. (activates Beam Saber) If you wish to die, I shall grant   
your wish. (Attacks with Beam Saber)   
  
Vile (blocks the attack): What!! That wasn't very gentlemanish,   
Colonel!   
  
Colonel: UH?   
  
Vile: We should fight like real gentlemen. Behold! (takes one of his   
gloves off, slaps Colonel in the face) Idiot!   
  
Colonel: Ah, I see. (Takes off one glove) Bastard. (smacks Vile)   
  
Vile: SHOULDER CANNON! (blasts Colonel on the face with the   
mentioned weapon)   
  
Colonel: AAaaah! (falls almost dead) You... cheated!   
  
Vile: Yes! You know why?   
  
Colonel: Why?   
  
Vile: 'Cuz I'm VILE! HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Good one, isn't it?   
  
Colonel: ...what was God thinking to let you live?   
  
Vile: Now, by rights of battle I am the official leader of our group   
of two men!   
  
Colonel: If you're happy that way. (stands up) Are we gonna strike   
X and Zero now?   
  
Vile: Hrrrm...   
  
Colonel: ...   
  
Vile: No! We're gonna haunt 'em first!   
  
Colonel: Haunt...? Vile, I...   
  
Vile: No no! Shut up! It isn't funny when it's just "DIE, X!" and he   
dies! It must be artistical! It must have a SOUL, you understand it?   
DO YOU UNDERSTAND IT?   
  
Colonel: Please spare my life, please spare my life.   
  
(Hunter Base, Training Room. 23:00. Somebody setup us the bomb.)   
  
Shin (walks by): All Yaoi counterparts are gathered on that small room.   
How could Cain earn it?   
  
Nihs: He got the authors on his side.   
  
Shin: How do you know that?   
  
(X Files Theme plays in)   
  
Nihs: Nevermind.   
  
Shin: And what are you carrying?   
  
Nihs: Something. (hides package) Dr. Cain, prepare the void!   
  
Zero (hears the word): Void?!   
  
Yaoi Zero: Did I he-ear Void?   
  
Dr. Cain: Activated!   
  
(A Small void pops up in front of the Yaoi counterparts.)   
  
Yaoi X: No-no-no! I'm not retu-urning!   
  
Yaoi Zero: Me nei-ether!   
  
Nihs (Enters the room): Oh no? What about... this?! (throws the package   
in the void)   
  
All Yaoi / Yuri Counterparts: ...GIMME THAAAAAAAAAAAAT! (runs to the   
Void)   
  
X: What did you throw there, Nihs?   
  
Nihs: ...a dildo.   
  
Everyone: ...   
  
Shin: Now wait a sec. Cain, that Void leads to the Yaoi dimension?   
  
Dr. Cain: Yes, it does.   
  
Shin: LET'S BLOW IT UP.   
  
Everyone: !!!!   
  
A tense situation. Shin wants to blow the entire Yaoi dimension, but if   
the Yaoi world is blown, the Game dimension also disappears. X, please   
make Shin change his mind before it's too late!   
  
X: Shut the hell up, japanese DBZ-like Narrator.   
  
Narrator: Sorry.   
  
  
  
X: Hi, I'm X! Shin, you can't blow up the Yaoi dimension! We would all   
die because that would mean no fan fic, fan art and consumer feedback,   
no matter how crappy it is!   
  
Shin: I don't care! (Censored by user request)   
  
Nihs: With this quote, you're REALLY gonna get popular with the girls   
who read the story.   
  
Zero: There are girls reading the story?   
  
Vile: I just found out... I am... not Vile! I AM BASS!   
  
Colonel: Oh, gosh.   
  
Double: Can this get any worse?   
  
Dr. Cain: You idiots, decide what's to be done! The void is losing   
consistency and the Counterparts may slip back if it is not closed in   
due time!   
  
X: Don't miss it! The next episode of... this crappy fanfic with big   
title, will be...   
  
"YOU KNOW THEY WON'T. BUT, WILL THE MEGA MAN X CAST DISAPPEAR?!"


	5. Episode #003 - YOU KNOW THEY WILL NOT. B...

Mega Man X: XTREME UNSTABILITY MAXIMUM  
  
Previously on "Xtreme Unstability Maximum":  
Vai, pamonha  
Vai, cural  
Tragam bacias  
Tragam panelas  
Quanto você acha  
Que custa esta pamonha?  
Mas quanto você acha  
Que custa este cural?  
O preço da pamonha está muito alto,  
põe o preço da pamonha mais embaixo,  
O preço da pamonha está muito alto-  
Pamonha mais embaixo.  
--BZZZCRACK--  
hikaru kumo wo tsukinuke Fly Away (Fly Away)  
karada juu ni hirogaru panorama  
kao wo kerareta chikyuu okotte (okotte)  
kazan wo bakuhatsu saseru  
--BZZZCRACK--  
...dragging me, to the grave  
She wants me to be her slave  
Gothic Gothic Girl  
Spin and Swirl  
I love them all  
When they spit and swirl  
But she keep the banana with --SHZZZZZZ--  
Japa Girl girly hot hot hots  
Little Sammy bought his kitty a cat  
In Brazil she scratches backs  
Say- Japa Japa Girl  
In Brazil  
Japa Japa Girl  
Now in N, YC  
So, Green Hair, Purple Hair, shaved, all in all  
--BZZZCRACK--  
  
??: You still can't find the right frequency for 'Summaries of what  
happened in previous episodes'?  
  
?? 2 (nods negatively): Nope.  
  
??: Damn.  
  
MOVIE EPISODE #003:  
"YOU KNOW THEY WON'T. BUT WILL THE MEGAMAN X CAST DISAPPEAR?"  
  
(Hunter Base - Void scenario)  
  
Shin: LET'S FIRE THE ENIGMA CANNON INSIDE THIS VOID AND BRING AN END  
TO THESE HOMOSEXUAL COUNTERPARTS! (original version censored by user  
request)  
  
Zero: Wow wow, easy boy. Forgot what Cain told us? If we kill them, we  
also die! Including YOU!  
  
Shin: Me doesn't. Me ain't a GAME character! Ha Ha Ha Ha!  
  
Zero: ...  
  
Dr. Cain: But... this reality plane would shatter itself, and you would  
be lost forever in a continuum time loop that would repeat the things  
that happened in the last 48 hours through eternity. But since you're  
not a game character, you would still remember everything you had  
gone through.  
  
Shin: So if I shoot Enigma there, not only you all die, but I also get  
to be like Bill Murray in that weirdass movie?  
  
Dr. Cain: ...if you like to be so simplist.  
  
Shin: Now it's better than ever. (jumps to Enigma Cannon that popped  
from... some unclear place) LET'S BLAST-OFF!  
  
X: Damn. If we don't stop this madman, he'll earn it!  
  
Zero: No problem. (takes out Beam Saber) This'll be easy.  
  
Dr. Cain: Just a friendly reminder, Zero. He's a human. If you harm  
him, you'll be labelled as Maverick.  
  
Zero: ...It's for the good of the world!  
  
Dr. Cain: Rules are rules, young boy.  
  
Zero: ...screw you.  
  
Nihs: I hold the key for your salvation. Worry not.  
  
Zero, X, Dr. Cain: ???!!!  
  
Nihs: I know exactly how to turn off his madness.  
  
Dr. Cain: Then hurry up before we're history.  
  
Nihs (nods. Turns to Shin): Hey, Shin.  
  
Shin: What do you want?  
  
Nihs: Are you going to destroy the Yaoi realm?  
  
Shin: Betcha. Look, systems fully operational. Time to BLASTOFF!  
  
Nihs: I wish he would stop quoting Signas. My ears are bleeding.  
  
Zero: Damn, move it! I don't want to die!  
  
Nihs: No one does. Maybe some do. But this is all part of the men's  
psyche; such matters can never be solved easily. It's tough to live.  
You must have courage to.  
  
Zero (points Z-Buster): HURRY. UP.  
  
Nihs: Sure thing. (turns to Shin once more) Are you aware that by doing  
that, you are going to extinct the Mega Man games FOR EVER?  
  
Shin: Yeah?  
  
Nihs: Yeah.  
  
Shin: ...well, it's for the best, right? What's the point in playing  
Mega Man games, when (CENSORED BY USER REQUEST), (CBUR again), (CBUR  
once more), (CBUR the final strike for now)? Would you answer me?  
  
Nihs: Errrm... If that dimension is blown, your memories of Iris x Alia  
will be wiped forever.  
  
(Dramatic music kicks in)  
  
Shin (shocked): WHAT?!  
  
Nihs: C'mon, Shin, you're no idealist. I know you'd rather live with  
these memories than sacrifice 'em for the "good of the world". It's not  
exactly for the good of the world, though; it involves so much more  
things, and...  
  
Zero: (points Z-Buster once more)  
  
Nihs (turns to Shin): ...don't you agree, Shin?  
  
Shin: ... I ...  
  
Nihs: ...  
  
X: ...  
  
Zero: ...  
  
Dr. Cain: ...  
  
Iris: Hi-ya! I'm still alive!  
  
Marty: Ditto...  
  
Sarusdi: Yep.  
  
Shin: ... I AM GONNA MAKE A SACRIFICE THIS TIME!  
  
Nihs: ...  
  
Zero, X, Cain (turns to Nihs): ...SO?  
  
Nihs: Shit. Zero, do you know the 'Vulcanical Rub' technique?  
  
Zero: What be it?  
  
Nihs: It makes anyone falls unconscious. Here, do it like this. (goes  
to Dr. Cain's back and performs the 'Vulcanial Rub'. Cain falls asleep)  
  
Zero: Alright. (jumps to the Enigma)  
  
Shin: Bye, Zero. Nice knowing ya. Rest assured, no more Yaoi will ever  
pop out.  
  
Zero: Nuh huh. VULCANICAL RUB! (starts pressing Shin's shoulders)  
  
Shin: !!!  
  
Zero: Why isn't it working...?!!!  
  
Shin: Go lower, idjit.  
  
Zero: Oh, thanks.  
  
*CRACKLE*  
  
Shin: Pain. (Falls asleep)  
  
X: Phew... we're safe...  
  
Nihs: Yeah, guess so.  
  
Dr. Cain: My God! The void is losing integrity! The counterparts are  
trying to slip back! We must close it immediately before they come back  
to our realm!  
  
(If you're not wondering how Dr. Cain is awake now, it means you have  
skipped all the Vulcanical Rub sequence, and thus, missed a VERY  
IMPORTANT PLOT POINT. "How is he awake?" What do I look like? Keiji  
Inafune?)  
  
X: How do we do it?  
  
Dr. Cain: Using Enigma. Setup the configuration to 'Close Voids'  
instead of 'Destroying Worlds', then fire.  
  
X: Roger! (jump dashes to Enigma)  
  
Zero: (jumps from Enigma with Shin's body, throws it in the ground)  
  
Nihs: Wow. Zero truly is a gentleman.  
  
X: Change... configuration... Close voids... WHAT?!  
  
Dr. Cain: What happen?  
  
X: Shareware Enigma time expired!  
  
Zero: We can't fire.  
  
Dr. Cain: WHAT!  
  
Zero: Get crack we must.  
  
X: That's it!!  
  
Dr. Cain: Damn... we're freaking short in time!  
  
Nihs: Oh, c'mon. This is 21XX, and you are the Hunters. I'm sure you  
have almight resources for such kind of problems.  
  
Dr. Cain (nods): Yes! (gets Laptop. Types URL: astalavista.box.sk)  
  
Nihs: ...  
  
(Search: "Enigma Cannon - Void Closer and World Destroyer v.0.01")  
  
Dr. Cain: 1.000.000 results founds. Ooh! PR0N BANNERS!  
  
Nihs: Be the stereotyped japanese oldman later. Get a flaming crack  
already.  
  
Dr. Cain: Alright. What?! DAMN, I HATE THOSE GPFS!  
  
Nihs: GPFs?  
  
Dr. Cain: We use Windows 21XX. Gotta reboot, damn...  
  
Nihs: We're screwed, boys, screwed.  
  
(Colonel and Vile's tent.)  
  
Vile (sits in a chair. Turns on a Computer. Types URL:   
http://www.irregularmail.co.jp. "IRREGULAR MAIL - BRINGING E-MAIL  
CLOSER TO BAD GUYS". Vile logins to his email address, which is  
VAVAMK-3K@irregularmail.badguys.evil)  
  
Colonel: What are you doing?  
  
Vile: Writing a hate letter for X. Wanna help?  
  
Colonel: Wouldn't it be more simple if we attacked him and Zero?  
  
Vile: Why you wanna take this away from me?  
  
Colonel: Whatever. (Sits down)  
  
Vile: Let's see...  
"Dear X.  
I hate you very very very very very very very very much. REALLY.  
  
This is me killing you with my awesome Ride Armor.  
  
(drawing of Vile killing X with his ride armor that a 2-year old kid  
can do better)  
  
This is me killing your best friend.  
  
(I think you get the idea.)  
  
And this is me taking over the world.  
  
(What! Idiot shoot the tires on my van!)  
  
Prepare yourself, because I'm on my way to kill you.  
  
Hate,  
Vile  
  
P.S: I will haunt you to the day you die..."  
  
Vile (clicks in Send. "Message sent successfully. giggles): I can't  
wait for a reply!  
  
Colonel: You don't go out much, do you?  
  
(Yet another city that we don't know it's exact location. Just for the   
records, does anybody knows where EXACLTLY Laguz Island is? Or the   
Hunter Base? No. So Nyah.)  
  
Bit & Byte: (killing even more blue reploids)  
  
Double: Idiots. (smacks forehead) Hi you all, I am Double. I haven't  
appeared in the second episode, but now I'm back. I'm keeping my eye on  
Bit and Byte. They can't fall on *HIS* hands. If *HE* gets what he  
wants, it'll be the end of the Universe. So the only chance to stop  
*HIM* is to keep my eye on Bit and Byte and even destroy them if  
needed. That's why I've put them to hunt X; because X would destroy  
them and *HE* wouldn't get these two. Uh? Who is *HE*? Like I'm gonna  
tell. When we're talking to ourselves we never reveal secrets. What,  
I am talking to the reader? Fuck.  
  
(Somewhere.)  
  
Shin: ...Ow... Where... where am I...?  
  
???: SHIN! NOT GOOD YOU ARE!  
  
Shin: What...?! This voice, and the CAPS... is it you?  
  
???: ASK QUESTIONS DON'T, IDIOT! (punches Shin in the face, kicks him  
in the stomach making him fly away, pursues, closes his hands and  
sends Shin to the ground with some mighty attack)  
  
Shin (almost dead): ...Master Nothing?  
  
Master Nothing: LEARNING YOU ARE, STUDENT. LEARNING YOU ARE.  
  
Shin: M... Master, where am I? What happened to all those Mega Man X  
characters and crap?  
  
Master Nothing: SHUT UP YOU MUST! (stomps Shin in the head around 99  
times)  
  
Shin: Cranium... just broke in million pieces. Can't... get up. I can't  
wait for... next part of that... Yaoi fanfiction.  
  
Master Nothing: IDIOT YOU ARE! (Stomps Shin once more)  
  
Shin: OW! Stop it, God damn it! This hurts!  
  
Master Nothing: NOT TO TALK I TOLD YOU! (stomps Shin ONCE AGAIN)  
  
Shin: ARGH! (head is smashed. Blood fills the ground.)  
  
Master Nothing: TOO HARSH I GUESS I WAS. WELL, TOO BAD. STUDENT DIED...  
  
(A musical intermezzo)  
  
mefaman x fanfic by joseph jones supermegaxzero@hotmail.com  
x inthe super giga battle  
  
Abuot 3 yers aftr megamanx 5 magamn was walking and thrn he found some maverricks and the mverrikcs looked ath im and saod "oh no your magaman pls dont kill us" and x said "i dont like fightiog but youre marvericks doing bad things, i must stop you." and then x was beginning to atcak with his canoon when he herds a ovice caling him and he recognize the voice x looks back and ask "Zeor is that you?" and the voice sats "youre dying X" and X couldnt beleive when zero appered with his beam sber tryingt ok ill x, x jumped and said "zero what happened to you" and zeros aid "i dont need to answer that youre dying!!!!" x startde shotgni at zero byut zero jumpes dall shotas and laughed at x and said "you are weak x you cant fightm,e youre not worthy. Im sendong my brother to fight yuo ad if you beat him you can go fight me hahaha" adn then zero vanished.  
  
x looked up and then he heard a strange nosei and a robot with backl armor came qalking and he said "i'm bass and i'm going to kill you for what you done to m ybrother vile" x said "youre viles brother?" and he replied "yes i am" and then he started shoting at x and x shotted back and x think "zero said ehs sending hes brother to fight me can it be that vile is his brither too?" and then x shot bass on the had and looked him and said "bass you also zeros brother? answer me!" bass laghedu and said "yes i am zeros brother, we all are made by the dr. wily and hes gonna kill you all with his new body" and x said "whois dr. wily this name is familiar to me." and tehn bass said "yiu cant beat us all were all gonna kill you and rule the world". and then bass teleported  
  
x was alone then je retunrd to the hunters base to talk what he found to his friends and he walked in and met the girl Prina that was a human girl and she said "hi x we all wodnered where you were" and x said "i was busy because some news mavericks are back and zero is also bakc. but i dont know wehy hes evil." Prina said "zero is back but wasnt he dead?" x said "i dont know , i think he was dead too, but they say it has to do with dr. wily beuhind tis" and Prina said "dr.wily oh no!" and x said "you know dr. wily?" then alia appered and said "we all know dr.wily, ehs zeors creatlr" and x said "wat! you kenw who created zero and never told anyhing to me why alia?!" and alia said "zero was built by dr.wiyl to kill you, when we analised his memory chip we found this and we tried to erase ti but we couldnt, now dr.wily is back and zeros evil again."   
  
x runned away and said "im nto forgivgn you, becuso you ddint tell me avbout zeros past" and he sit on the street of the first megamanx game thinking "how am i goign to fight zero, hes my friend, i must fight this drwily and bring zero bakc" and then dr. light appeared and said "X im giving you teh head upgrade for the super armor when you have this armro yiu can beat zero, vile, sigma and bass they are together to atack you becuase of dr. wily, x crush them all" and x said "ok" and then x entred the capsule and he got the headu pgrade for hte super armor and then he wnet to the hunmters base do get the location of the dr.wily base but before he went there prina appeared and said "x wy did you disappear i worry about you, and then prina kissed x and x im sorry prina i worry baout ouy too but if i dont defeat dr.wily hes gonan take over eht world, i must get the locatin of the base and then iwill defet him" and hent x walked and asked alia "alia wheres the location of the dr.wily base" and alia said "tis on point 49921A we sent some hutners there but we lost track" and signas said "x youre our onyl hoep do it, before that we will complete the super antivirus cannon that will save all the marvericks" and then x said "ok im going there right now" and x said goodbye to prina and said "i will be back ipromise" and prina said "ok"  
  
x goed fliyng whit the falcon armor and then eh finally got to the drwily's base, he met vile sigma bass and zero outside of the fortress and they said "x you are gonna die today" and x said "im not letting you destroy teh wolrd, ultimate armor" and then x used the ultimater armor and then he attacked vile sigma and bass with it but bass also activated his ultirmate armor and attacked x too and them they exploded and x said "this is impossible this guys too strong" and bass said "you cant beat me, you are weak" and bass used the nova strike on x again and then x was about to die when they heard a song and then someone shot bass on the head and bass fall down to the ground and sigma yells "Bass my brother!" and vile looks up and says "hes up there" zero looks up too and x looks up too and they see protoman x standing on the cliff saying "i wont forgive you for what you done" and then protoman x comes falling and hits vile on the hed, vile says "yeah you thnk youre very strng you piece of metal" and then vile calls his goliasth mech and he crushs protoman x with it and then zero runs and kills protoman x with his saber and x says "noo protoman x" and x fires his cannon and destroys viles goliasth and then he ruins to help protoman x and protoman x said "x youre the megaman, zero killed all our friends and family, because wily built him to do it, now he isnt evil but wily got ghim evil again, tkae the arm upgrde to the super armor and i hope you gets afe x" and then protoman x died.  
  
x got the upgrade and flied to inside the fortress to fight vile bass sigma and zero for the last time and then when he walked in he was knocked out by axle the res and x asked "axle how are you alive zero killd you" and axle said "dr.wily rebuilt me" and he atacked x, x used the super armor cannon and then shot axle and axle died. then a capsul appred from the ground and x fan to the capsule and he found dr.light and dr.light said "x this is the body upgrade of the super armor and  
with it can you peeform thje siper giga nova balst, use the power for the good not for the evil x." x got the upgrade and when he walked a bit more he meet with the colonial  
  
"colonial! zero defeated you yoo" x said and colonal said "dr.wily is rebuilding the strongast oponents and you cant beat us all, youre outnumbered" and then double webspider cyber peckock magma dragoon duff mcwhalen mattrex split mushroom and chill penguin appred and said that x wil ldie, and x said "I have the new armor super, i can beat you" and x used the super guga nova blast. all the maveficks died at the same time and the colonial said tp x "youre strong x, i hope you can defeat dr.wily" and then he xploded, x walked a bit more and fond another dr. light capsule, dr.light said 'x this is the leg uptade for the super armor if you pick it you can fly and be invencible and crush dr.wily, x i ttust the future yo you."  
  
and x was walking to the end of the foretess and then he heard a voice calling im, looking back x saw celina, she was a hunter and she loved zero, x asked "celina what are you doign here" and celina said "i came after zeor, becuose i heard yo said hes back alive" and x said "hes back alive but hes evil, secape thsi place at once" and then vile appeared with his goliaths and knocked x on the ground, then celina punched vile on the face and told x "x get him" x used the super giga nova blast and then vile said "x you may have beet me but my nrothers will all finsih you" and then vile exploded. x said "thanks celina, escape at once" and celina said "ok" and then x walked more more to go to the end of the fortress and he faces bass.  
  
"you killd my brother aagin, megaman, prepare for punishment" and x said "yo killef my brother too, youre gonap ayfor that" and thet both begin fighting. bass kicks x in the face and x falls and bass said "haha its the end for you x" and x said "super giga nova attack" and bass said "what" and then bass exploded when x use the super attack, and x goes continues.   
  
x got to the last room and he saw sigma sitting, sigma got up and sayd "megaman x, yoru going down now" and he used all of his [rvious weapons together, the scytherthe claws the saber the hands and the giant gn of x4 nd x said "as lonh as i have the super giga nova atack im not going to loose" and x used the super giga nova atack at sigma and sigma blw up. and then zero appard on the room  
  
"x, youre going down, i thought youd never make it here and x said "zero you cant fight me listen to yourself you dont wannt dot hsi" and zero said "yes i want" and then he pick his saber and hit x, and he smuiles and laughs at x hurt, then celina comes running by the door and zero says "celina? augh" and zero starts screrming, and he is no longrf evil and then x says "zero your back" and zero says "yes i am, celina took of the virus i had in the system" and celina sais "zero i lover uo" and zero says "i love yo too" and then dr.wily comes on the room  
  
dr. wily said "maga man, uou came ap a loong way here and i m goinga to fisnish you now" and x says "dr wily how can you be alive for so much time" and dr.wily saus "i travleed to the future usng my time machine and then repaird zero and rebuit sigma" and x says "i cant stand you, i lost my brother becouse of you" and wily says "you cant kill me or peiople woll csll you a marverick" and x sas "i dont mind" and x shot his buster and kills wily. then dr. light appedr and said "wel done x, now i can take over the world" and x says "no! the sigma virus inefctd dr.light" and dr.light says "thats right fookl, and now you cant beat me or will iou kill your own father" and the zero says "x finish him, hes not yoru father anymore" and x says "youre right zero, die sigma"x shots the super giga nova atacka tsigma and eh deis, and then dr. light says "x the world is peacful, thnaks for doing it, but sigma killd me, i cant stay here no longer, goodbye" and x said "noooo" but dr. light died  
  
then the marverickas appered and says "dr.wily and sigma are dead we can finaly take the world on yor own" and x says "zero we have to get out og hert, the hunterbases will shoot the antivirus super canoon on this palce and the marvericks will be saved and the notmvicks can die and zero sayd yes and held celina and they escpaed to exit, then the canoon shoted and the mavrivkcs were cleaned and the galaxy hed pece again  
  
then x married prian and zeor married celian and they disjoined the amverikc hunters  
  
end  
  
(End of the Musical intermezzo)  
  
(Hunter Base.)  
  
Shin: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! (looks around after screaming)  
Master Nothing? My cranium is intact... No more dyslexical fanfic...  
wow... it was only a dream.  
  
Joseph Jones: hi freidn like my leet mmx fanfciton  
  
Shin: AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!  
  
(Vile and Colonel's tent.)  
  
Vile (trembling): Co... Cold.... Brr....  
  
Colonel (laid down): Be quiet, I'm trying to sleep here!  
  
Vile: Do... Don't... you ge... get it... I can... can feel... something  
come... over me... me... memo... memories... it... it seems...  
  
Colonel: Yeah, sure, whatever.  
  
Vile: Aaaah... Wha... wha... what is this... Whaa..... AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!  
  
Colonel (stands up): God damn it, Vile, what the hell do you want?!  
Vile?  
  
Vile (turns around): I want... MEGA MAN'S HEAD!  
  
Colonel: Mega... Man? You mean X?  
  
Vile: PREPARE YOURSELF, MEGA MAN! THE ALMIGHTY BASS IS BACK! I FINALLY  
REMEMBERED WHO I REALLY AM! (explodes a wall and dashes through it)  
  
Colonel: ... I guess I can sleep now. (lays down and sleeps.)  
  
(Hunter Base. Enigma Scenario)  
  
Shin (gets up, and goes where the ladies are): What... what's going on?  
  
Iris: This is for trying to kill my beloved X! (punches Shin in the  
face)  
  
Shin: A punch by Iris... I'll never wash this face again. (receives a  
kick in the stomach by the very same person) Damn, she's harsh...  
Anyway, wasn't X engaged with some Prina or something that sounds  
like that girl?*  
  
(*If you're wondering who Prina is, you skipped the whole Musical  
Intermezzo, and thus, missed yet another VERY IMPORTANT PLOT POINT. Ok,  
it was only a nightmare. But still. Shame on you.)  
  
Marty: Well, they're just trying to close the Void before those  
counterparts SLIP BACK to our realm.  
  
Shin: WHAT?! SLIP BACK?!  
  
Sarusdi: (nods)  
  
Shin: WHY DIDN'T THEY LET ME DESTROY THAT DIMENSION HUH IS IT SO BAD IF  
ALL OF YOU EXCEPT ME AND SARUSDI AND NIHS DIE ALONG WITH THE MEGA  
MAN GAMES AND-  
  
Marty (buries Shin in the ground with an elbow): Shut up.  
  
Shin: Mmphhh. (Okay.)  
  
Dr. Cain: Finally! I could finally get the crack!  
  
Nihs: Yes, took only 23 hours to download 4 megs in this 14kbps modem  
of yours. (smacks forehead) Do it quickly before the Counterparts slip  
back!  
  
Dr. Cain: Sure thing! Oh, no!  
  
X: What is it, Dr. Cain?!  
  
Zero: Damn! Look at the Void!  
  
(5 little shadows escapes from the Void, which quickly closes itself   
after it happens.)  
  
Nihs: We're screwed, boys, screwed.  
  
Shin (gets up): Craaaap. THEY'RE BACK.  
  
Yaoi X: That Dildo-o plan wasn't so ni-ice!  
  
Yaoi Zero: No-o!  
  
Yuri Iris: But it was useless...  
  
Yuri Alia: We're back!  
  
Yuri Marty: Ha ha ha ha!  
  
X: Okay... what the hell do we do NOW?!  
  
Dr. Cain: I'll open the void once again... we'll just have to convince  
them to jump there!  
  
Y & Y Counterparts: (run away like hell, each to one direction) YOU  
WILL NEVER CATCH US! HA HA HA HA!  
  
ALL: Shit.  
  
The Yaoi and Yuri counterparts have returned to the Game realm. Is  
there a chance that X and his friends can capture these counterparts  
before it's too late? Or will reality destroy itself?  
  
X: He's TRYING to be serious?  
  
Zero (shrugs): Guess so.  
  
X: Poor him.  
  
  
  
X: Hi, I'm X! We must get these counterparts really soon, or Reality  
will be doomed!  
  
Zero: *BURP*  
  
Yuri Marty: Ha Ha Ha Ha! What do you think of the Yaoi Image attack,  
little boy?  
  
Shin (puking): YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!  
  
Vile (?): I'M COMING FOR YOU, MEGA MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-(hits head in a  
"STOP" sign)-UNG.  
  
Sigma: Even though I won't appear, you know I haven't died, right?  
  
X: Don't miss it! The next episode of this thing I narrate when the  
episode ends, will be...  
  
"UNTITLED" or "HUNTING LOW AND LOW" or "KNOCKING KNOCKING ON HELL'S  
DOOR" or "HOW SMURFS MAKE LITTLE SMURFS" or "HIDEAKI ANNO SYNDROME:  
GIVE A SINGLE CHAPTER 3 DIFFERENT NAMES OR MORE" 


	6. Special Episode #001 - X'S XTREME XMAS O...

Mega Man X: XTREME UNSTABILITY MAXIMUM  
  
MOVIE MOVIE EPISODE #001:  
"THE FIRST AND STEREOTYPED XMAS" or "X's Xtreme Xmas".  
  
(December 24nd, 21XX.)  
  
Shin: ...THE HELL?!  
  
Nihs: Hurry up, Shin, or we'll be late for Iris' party.  
  
Shin: PARTY? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?  
  
Nihs: (sighs) What are you talking about? Today is Christmas' Eve! The  
magical season where people give each others presents, and people also  
celebrate the birth of Jesus, and some others write lemons where the  
characters have hot hot sex influentiated by the season, or something  
to that effect.  
  
Shin: ...Weren't we supposed to chase the Yaoi and Yuri counterparts  
back to their little Realm, otherwise this dimension would be  
destroyed?  
  
Nihs: ...Hmmm? What do you mean, Shin?  
  
Shin: Oh, okay, I got it. This is just another messy DBZ-like Movie,  
stretched nowhere in storyline, and meant just for profit. Wait a sec.  
Profit. We're gonna get money!  
  
Nihs: Actually, we won't. The two unknown guys are posting this at  
free fanfiction sites.  
  
Shin: ...  
  
Nihs: Now that this is settled, can we go? The cast is waiting for us.  
  
Shin: HOLD ON JUST A SEC.  
  
Nihs: (sighs) What is it now?  
  
Shin: Why in the world would the Mega Man X Cast invite two unknown  
humans to their private Xmas party, eh? WHY?  
  
Nihs: We're two of the central fanmades of the story.  
  
Shin: Uh, right...  
  
Nihs: Besides, this is a crappy fanfiction, and the last thing to worry  
is about LOGIC. Now let's get walking, for Heaven's sake.  
  
Shin: Actually, I always liked Xmas better staying alone. Go forth,  
Nihs, I'll go back to home.  
  
Nihs: ...You have no house in 21XX.  
  
Shin: True. Well, I'll go to some Hentai store buy stuff. Laters!  
  
Nihs: Stop messing around, boy! We already wasted thousands of bytes  
because of your refusal of cooperating with the plot!  
  
Shin: Give me ONE good reason for me to go to Iris'.  
  
Nihs: She'll be taking a shower and you can try to peek on her-  
  
Shin: (runs like hell)  
  
Nihs: I *KNEW* it would work. But wait a second, he doesn't know where Iris'  
house is. Now I have to spend my time looking for him!  
  
??: ...go on with the story. Shin WILL find the path.  
  
Nihs: How?  
  
??: ...this is a crappy fanfiction, forgot? Logic is the last thing to  
worry about.  
  
Nihs: Gotcha. Well, on my way to Iris'.   
  
(Evil, evil, very evil alley)  
  
???: So... their Xmas party is almost ready.  
  
??? 2: Yes, my Master.  
  
???: They are going to be happy. Very very happy.  
  
??? 2: Yes, my Master.  
  
???: We shouldn't allow that, should we?  
  
??? 2: Yes, my Master.  
  
???: Idiot, now you're supposed to say 'No, my Master'!  
  
??? 2: Yes, my Master. I mean, no, my Master.  
  
???: Grrrr!!! Okay, let's try again! Say 'No, my Master' after my third  
question. Got it?!  
  
??? 2: ...  
  
???: GOT IT?  
  
??? 2: ....  
  
???: WHY ARE YOU MUTE?!  
  
??? 2: No, my Master.  
  
???: Aaaaahhhh! You're the most brainless henchman one villain could  
ever ask for!  
  
??? 2: Yes, my Master.  
  
???: Can't you say ANYTHING else?!  
  
??? 2: Kill X.  
  
???: Hee Hee Hee... good... so you want to kill X, right?  
  
??? 2: Yes, my Master.  
  
???: And you would also like to pester his friends, just so you can  
cause him even more pain, right?  
  
??? 2: Yes, my Master.  
  
???: Hee Hee Hee... excellent... so I want you to do something for me,  
right?  
  
??? 2: No, my Master.  
  
???: WHAT?!  
  
??? 2: Oh, give me a break! I'm saying "No, my Master" every time it's  
your THIRD question, just like you told me to do!  
  
??? (punches ??? 2): Enough! Let's make things easier. Contact the  
Eight Reploids of Despair, Evil and Sadness (ERDES) to steal the Turkey  
of the Maverick Hunters' party!  
  
??? 2: Yes, my Master. (vanishes)  
  
???: (sighs) I thought he would take all day long to do that... Fu, fu,  
fu... Bwa Ha Ha Ha Ha! YOU'LL NEVER FIND OUT WHO WE ARE! (BLATANT  
FORESHADOWING AND RIDICULOUS HIDING)  
  
(Somewhere close to Iris' house)  
  
:: MORAL LESSON #1: "SHIN'S HEARTLESS AND NIHS WILL HELP YOU EVEN IF  
YOU STAB HIM IN THE BACK WITH A CHAINSAW THREE TIMES IN A ROW"::  
  
Homeless Man: Sir, can you please give me some money?  
  
Shin: Who the hell you think I look like, Geraldo? That... rich-ass boy  
from Hanna Barbera cartoons? Go get a freaking job!  
  
Homeless Man: B, but, sir... I DO have a job... I'm a writter. But my  
books never sell good enough, and now I lost my house, and my wife and  
three kids are starving under the bridge...!  
  
Shin: It's not my fault if you suck! Bye! Oh yeah, merry Xmas! (walks  
off)  
  
Homeless Man: (sighs) Damn it... not fair... (starts crying)  
  
Nihs (comes walking by): What is wrong, mister? Cheer up, the life is  
beautiful!  
  
Homeless Man: Not for me, pal, not for me.  
  
Nihs: Well, you can see you're a homeless guy. What is wrong, buddy?  
  
Homeless Man: I'm a failure as a writter, my family is starving, and I  
can't give my daughter that Sailor Moon toy she wants so bad! Only if I  
were better at writing...  
  
Nihs: Whoa, easy, bud. Can I check any of your books?  
  
Homeless Man: Well, here's one. I'm burning them to keep my family  
warm in this cold.  
  
Nihs: Okay. (begins reading) Hey, you're pretty good!  
  
Homeless Man: Really?  
  
Nihs: Yes. The story of an hermaphrodite who is pregnant and had it's  
lover killed by Yakuzas, and now is having crisis of self-esteem, and  
is to end in a long and painful travel of discovery. Top notch!  
  
Homeless Man: Oh... th... thanks very much, Sir! Would you be  
interested in buying it?  
  
Nihs: Betcha! How much does it cost?  
  
Homeless Man: Well... let's say... US$ 25,00?  
  
Nihs: Have US$100,00 and keep the change. If you have any more, I'll  
gladly pay you the same price for all of 'em!  
  
Homeless Man: ...You... you're God, mister! May God bless your soul  
forever!  
  
Nihs: Well, if I wasn't an EVIL counterpart, he would sure do it. But  
since I'm one, it's most likely LUCIFER owns my soul.  
  
Homeless Man: HUH?  
  
Nihs: ...Nevermind. Just give me the books, okay?  
  
Homeless Man: Oh, of course! Here...  
  
Nihs: "Timmy, the 10 year drug addict who witnessed the landing of UFOs  
and was kidnapped by the KGB". Wow! Keep those coming...  
  
(Iris' house)  
  
::DING DONG::  
  
Marty: I'll get it!  
  
Sarusdi: Oh, please! I still have to prepare many meals and stuff. Why  
is Iris taking so long in that shower, by the way?!  
  
Alia: I dunno! Oh, hi, people, I'm Alia! Even though I'm not a regular  
at Xtreme Unstability Maximum, I've been given a place in this movie!  
Cool, isn't it? ^_^  
  
(Central Room)  
  
X (playing pool with Zero): ...and so it was just like "BAM!", you  
know.  
  
Zero: Interesting. Well, my turn! (inclines in the table)  
  
Marty (passes walking by, sees Zero posing to play): ...  
  
Zero: ... I have to get this... right! I'm gonna finish you this turn,  
X!  
  
Marty (sweats cold): ...  
  
Zero: (shakes bum) Yes... this way it will be bullseye!  
  
Marty: AAAAHHH! (pinches' Zero ass) You got such a hot tail, Zero!  
  
Zero: ... (eyes burn with unholy fire)  
  
(Door)  
  
Shin (rings the doorbell for the thousand time): HEY! CAN ONE OPEN THE  
DOOR FOR M--  
  
Marty: (comes by flying, knocks Shin down, and falls on top of him)  
  
Shin: Ouch.  
  
Marty: Can you please get your legs out of my ass?  
  
Shin: Which of the three?  
  
Marty: ...  
  
Shin: ... Er. I shouldn't have said that.  
  
Marty (performs Shoryuken): YOU PERVERTED BASTARD!  
  
Shin (flies, then falls): Urgh... at least, with that huge hole on the  
door, it'll be easy to enter. (cleans himself of dust, and walks  
inside)  
  
Zero: Oh, it's that bastard that almost extincted us.  
  
X: Oh, hi, man.  
  
Shin: Yo, my niggas! Is that how you welcome a guest?! By the way, if  
you remember THAT, why don't we go chase those counterparts before  
it's too late?!  
  
Zero: ...Counterparts?  
  
X: What are you talking about?  
  
Shin: (sighs) NEVERMIND. Hey, where is the bathroom?  
  
Zero: Third door at the eastern corridor, but...  
  
Shin: (shakes hand in negative manner): Yeah, yeah, I know. That's why  
I came along. See you guys soon.  
  
X (confused, looks to Zero): ...  
  
Zero: Don't ask me.  
  
(Bathroom door)  
  
Shin: Aaaah, I can hear the noise of water falling. And this door has  
got a key hole. How fortunate. Now I can see Iris' beautiful body all  
nude, and just for me. Eyes, LET'S FEAST. (kneels and spies the key  
hole)  
  
Iris (comes walking by, drying her hair with a towel): Oh, hi, human!  
Glad to see you're here!  
  
Shin: ...this... voice... Iris?  
  
Iris: Yep! (giggles)  
  
Shin: T... then... who... (spies the key hole)  
  
Douglas: (in the shower)  
  
Shin (pukes): AAAAHHHHHHRGGGHHH! I... I SAW SOMETHING HORRIBLE!  
  
Iris: ...I just cleaned this corridor today...!  
  
Shin: I'm so sorry! (eats vomit) Better this way?  
  
Iris: ...You're disgusting! (punches Shin in the face)  
  
Shin: I shall never, never wash this face in my life! *BURP*  
  
(Another evil, evil, but VERY evil, alley)  
  
??? 2: Master has ordered us to steal the Sacred Turkey...  
  
8 Shadows: (Mass chaos and questions like "oooh! The sacred turkey!",  
"We're finally gonna make it!", "Boss took so much time for this  
decision" and so on)  
  
??? 2: Yes, that's right. (a Panel flashes by his side) This is the  
target's house. We must sneak in, get the turkey, divide it in 8  
pieces, and then challenge the Hunters for battle.  
  
??? 3: (raises hand)  
  
??? 2: Yes, what is it, Magma Dragoon.  
  
Magma Dragoon: ...YOU ASSHOLE! I WAS HIDDEN UNTIL NOW!  
  
??? 4: Yes, you screwed his disguise!!!!  
  
??? 2: MY GOD! I'M TERRIBLY SORRY, Magma and Morph Moth!  
  
Morph Moth: ...  
  
Magma Dragoon: ...  
  
??? 5: VILE, YOU'RE A DICKHEAD!  
  
??? 2: HOW DARE YOU SPOIL MY DISGUISE, BLAST HORNET! (explodes Hornet  
with his Shoulder Cannon)  
  
??? 6: Well, that makes one less ERDES in our group.  
  
??? 7: Yes, man, you screwed up.  
  
??? 2: Listen up, Catfish and Penguin, boss put me in charge here! So  
you're gonna listen to my orders wheter you want or not!  
  
??? 8: But, you keep spoiling our disguises.  
  
??? 9: Yeah, and you just killed Hornet!  
  
??? 2: ...I'm VERY sorry for that, Mandrill and Snail.  
  
??? 10: VILE! YOU ASSHOLE! I WAS IN LOVE WITH MOTH ALL ALONG! _  
  
ALL: ...  
  
Dragoon: Another "Yaoi Virus" victim?  
  
Mandrill (shakes head in negative manner): So it seems.  
  
??? 2: DON'T SPOIL MY DISGUISE, YOU... YOU FREAK! (explodes ??? 10 with  
Shoulder Cannon as well)  
  
Moth: And I'm STILL alive! Who died was Hornet!  
  
Dragoon: Well, Peacock was always nuts.  
  
Snail: And thanks to your cleverness, ALL 10 members of ERDES have been  
found out now.  
  
??? 2: I haven't, look at my name! It's still "??? 2"! And boss, as  
well!  
  
Penguin: Queck! Gimma break! EVERYBODY knows who that guy is by his  
laugh and goals, and Hornet just said you're Vil...  
  
??? 2: (points Shoulder Cannon)  
  
Penguin: ...I mean, nobody knows who you are.  
  
??? 2: Excellent! Now, back to your question, Dra... ops! ??? 3! See?  
I learned my lesson! Ha Ha Ha Ha!  
  
??? 3: ...EVERYONE knows I am Magma Dragoon now.  
  
??? 2: Magma who? Ha Ha! (blinks to ??? 3)  
  
??? 3: ...  
  
??? 2: Well, go ahead and say the question!  
  
??? 3: Okay. Can we EAT the turkey parts we each get?  
  
??? 4: Yeah, that would be good!  
  
??? 6: I WANT MY NAME BACK!!!  
  
??? 2: Well, unfortunately, no, you can't.  
  
All shadows: WHY?!!  
  
??? 2: If the Hunters defeat you, just GIVE THEM the part back. Got it?  
  
??? 4: ...Why the heck should we do that?  
  
??? 9: We're evil and stuff. We have to EAT the thing and prove them  
how much evil we are!  
  
??? 2: Guys, think for a second here. The X-Hunters are a symbol for  
all of us. And when X defeated then, each one holding one part of Zero,  
they GAVE IT to him instead of running away with it. You know why?  
  
??? 9: Because they're dumbasses?  
  
??? 2: NO! Because of something very important: FAIRNESS. They didn't  
run with the parts because it would be unfair. I want to be just like  
them. Don't you guys too?  
  
??? 9: Absolutely not.  
  
??? 2: Yes! I knew you all would agree! Now, without further delay,  
dispatch to Iris' house immediately, get the Turkey parts and spread  
yourselves in exotic location of the world. BLAST-OFF!  
  
??? 6 (raises hand)  
  
??? 2: (sighs angrily) CATFISH. What is it now?!  
  
Catfish: My name is back! WOO HOO!  
  
??? 2: You raised your hand FOR THAT?! (Points Shoulder Cannon)  
  
Catfish: Uh, no, no! Like... since now we're just six, in how many  
parts will we cut the Turkey?  
  
All except ??? 2 and Catfish: ...  
  
??? 2: EXCELLENT POINT! CATFISH, I NOW NOMINEE YOU THE LEADER OF THE  
GROUP. Without your brain mass, this operation would be a huge failure!  
  
Catfish: HOORAY!  
  
??? 9: ...  
  
Catfish: What is it, ??? 9? Why are you looking so angry? I'M THE  
LEADER NOW!  
  
??? 9: My hatred for you... is delicious.  
  
??? 2: Still, it's now up to Catfish to decide in how many parts you  
ERDES will cut the Turkey. Now, dispatch to Iris' house! FOR GREAT  
UNFAIRNESS!  
  
All in unision: FOR GREAT UNFAIRNESS! (teleports out)  
  
(Iris' house)  
  
Nihs: (arrives)  
  
Zero: Hey, yo, Nihs!  
  
X: Hey, man!  
  
Nihs: Hiya, fellas.  
  
Shin: See how HE is welcomed? (sips beer)  
  
Sarusdi: It's not my fault you wanted to EXTINCT the Mega Man X realm!  
  
Shin: Yeah, yeah, I don't need to hear that from a CATGIRL that is in  
love with Zero and uses Dragon Ball Z and Final Fantasy moves!  
  
Sarusdi (angry): Are you saying I SUCK?  
  
Shin: *BURP* Einstein. Can you get me another beer, honey?  
  
Sarusdi: Idiot. (elbows Shin in the face)  
  
Shin: Urgh. Nihs, you freaking idiot, why did you take so long?  
  
Nihs: I was helping somebody.  
  
Shin (gets up): Yes, yes, you will save the world. I know you will.  
  
Alia: Anybody wants more drinks?  
  
Shin: ME! GIMMA MORE BEER! (hiccups)  
  
X (watching TV): What a devious Maverick, this 'XMAS-STEALER GRINCH'!  
  
Zero (wiping tears): Yes! How dare he try to ruin children's happiness?  
  
Marty & Sarusdi: (sighs) Awww, Zero is such a man... and he's got a  
sensitive side!  
  
X: What do you mean? Zero cried 10 times over and over when he first  
watched that retromovie, 'E.T. 20XX'.  
  
Zero (sends X flying through the walls with a punch): I told you not to  
bring that up!  
  
Iris (runs to X): Oh, poor X! Don't worry, I'll put you in shape again,  
you will see... (smiles)  
  
X: Uh... thanks, Iris...  
  
Zero (teleports from chair, punches X in the face): WATCH YOUR MOUTH,  
MUDHA FUGHA! (teleports back)  
  
Iris: What an agressive person he is...!  
  
X: He sure is... huuuh... Ir... Colonel's sister, it's not that I don't  
appreciate what you feel for me... but why did you ditch Zero all of  
a sudden?  
  
Iris: Wouldn't why MARTY gave you up for Zero be more relevant, my X?  
  
X: Well, that's another question...  
  
Shin: SHTOP IT RIGHT THERE! (hiccups) Nihsh, you told me that it wash  
forbidden to worry with logic here! (hiccups)  
  
Nihs: Well, Shin, the ?? guys are probably trying to foreshadow their  
plotholes who are unlikely to be cleared anytime. So... just let it be,  
I guess.  
  
Shin: MY ASSH! EARTH CAN BE DOOMED BECAUSHE OF SHOME COUNTERPARTSH, AND  
INSHTEAD OF GOING AFTER 'EM WE'RE WASHTING TIME HERE!  
  
Nihs: Jesus, it's Christmas, man. CHILL!  
  
Alia: Sarusdi, isn't the Turkey ready yet?  
  
Sarusdi: Well, I guess it is! I'm gonna check it now! (giggles and  
runs)  
  
(Outside)  
  
??? 3: Well, we finally arrived!  
  
??? 4: Let's get in now. Really sneaky, right? Then we steal the  
Turkey.  
  
??? 6: Hey, hey, hey, WAIT! *I* am the leader!  
  
??? 7: ...So go ahead and give us your plan.  
  
??? 9: Yes. Just remember, we must NOT drive attention, you lower class  
idiot.  
  
??? 6: I know that, EINSTEN! BUT I AM THE LEADER, NOT YOU! HA, HA, HA!  
Well... I want Mandrill to destroy the Wall and holds all the Hunters  
at once in a suicide attack.   
  
Mandrill: WHAT, COMMANDER CATFISH?!  
  
Catfish: Sorry, soldier, but it's for the X-Hunters. Remember them.  
The X-Hunters.  
  
Mandrill (wipes tears): For... the X-Hunters.  
  
??? 9: (shakes head) I'm surrounded of IDIOTS!  
  
Catfish: Now, go, Mandrill!  
  
Mandrill (nods): THIS IS FOR YOU, SERGES, MY FATHEEERRRRRRRRRR!!!  
(charges hand, destroys the Wall and keeps crying)  
  
Sarusdi (walking to the kitchen): WHAT?! MAVERICKS!  
  
??? 6: QUICK! GET THE TURKEY, SNAIL!  
  
Snail: Now my disguise has once again been ruined. Okay.  
  
??? 6: Can't you go FASTER?  
  
Snail: I am a damn Snail, my friend.  
  
??? 6: Then we don't need you!  
  
Snail: WHAT?!  
  
??? 6 (fries Snail with constant electrical bolts): Ha Ha Ha Ha!  
  
Snail: (drops dead)  
  
??? 6: Well, another useless ERDES discarded. Penguin, do you mind  
sneaking in and getting the Turkey without needs of any of us  
sacrificing?  
  
Penguin: ...Mandrill is dying already.  
  
Sarusdi (Punch, Kick, Punch, Kick, Super Combo Gauge level 3 ready,  
Shinkuu Hadouken): What do you want, you Sigma scum?!  
  
Mandrill: SERGESSSSS!! MY LONG LOST FAAAATHEEEEERRRR!!!  
  
Catfish: Crap! Why didn't he wait for my orders? Soldiers, RETREAT!  
  
??? 3: ...Excuse me, but no other hunters are at the kitchen. Why don't  
you get the Turkey while they're distracted?  
  
Catfish: No! That wouldn't work, you dumbass, Dragon! Wait. Let's get  
the Turkey while Mandrill sacrifices!  
  
Dragoon: Rot in hell.  
  
Catfish: Go, Morph Moth! Retrieve the Turkey!  
  
Moth: Okay. (flies inside the house, picks the Turkey and gets out)  
  
Catfish: MARVELOUS JOB! Now, in how many parts do we divide it, hmm?  
  
Moth: Uhhh... since we're in four, how about FOUR?  
  
Catfish: MOTH, YOU'RE THE DAMN BEST SOLIDER IN THIS TEAM! You are now  
our Co-Leader.  
  
Magma and Penguin: ...  
  
Moth: Whoa, thanks!  
  
Catfish: Here, let's divide it and scat.  
  
Sarusdi: Puf, puf... die, already, Mandrill...  
  
Mandrill: I WILL NEVER GIVE UP! I WILL FIGHT FOR MY FATHER!  
  
Sarusdi: ...Serges... isn't your father...  
  
Mandrill: He isn't?  
  
Sarusdi: Nope.  
  
Mandrill: Oh. Sorry. (drops dead)  
  
Sarusdi: He was tough. OH MY GOD, THE TURKEY WAS STOLEN!  
  
Zero: WHAT?!  
  
X: HUH?!  
  
Alia: EH?!  
  
Shin: HICCUPS.  
  
Nihs: HOW?!  
  
Marty: WHY?!  
  
Iris: WHO?!  
  
(That dark, dark, dark alley.)  
  
??? 2: Oh, so you came back, my ERDES. And you're holding the Sacred  
Turkey! Congratulations!  
  
Dragoon: Yeah, yeah, sure. Now, what do we do?  
  
??? 2: Split yourselves in different locations of the world! Dragoon,  
you will go to a... hmmm... err... VOLCANO! How's it sound?  
  
Dragoon: ... Okay...  
  
??? 2: Moth, you'll go to a... errr... how about... Reploid Junkyard?  
  
Moth: Yay, I'm gonna spend more time at home!  
  
??? 2: You, Penguin, well...  
  
Penguin: Yeah, North Pole, right?  
  
??? 2: Hmmm, no! You'll go to Burn Dinorex's Volcano warehouse.  
  
Penguin: WHAT?! I'M A PENGUIN, MAN!  
  
??? 2: Don't complain about my orders, weakling!  
  
Penguin: ...  
  
??? 2: And Catfish...  
  
Catfish: What is it, Sir?  
  
??? 2: Well, you pick whatever you want to hide, since you're the most  
clever soldier in this squad, save me. Right?  
  
Catfish (nods): Yessir!  
  
??? 2: NOW GO! AND DEFEAT THE MAVERICK HUNTERS! But remember... *I*  
will kill X! How dared he defeat me twice in the past! I will haunt him  
to the day he dies! Because... I'm a MYSTERIOUSMAVERICK!  
  
Dragoon (whispers): And he thinks people still doesn't know who he is?  
  
Penguin (whispers back): Simply put, he's a sad fuck.  
  
(Iris house, briefing room)  
  
X: I've contacted the Maverick Hunter Base, and the guy who caused the  
Repliforce fiasco and then was substituted by Signas isn't there. He's  
spending Xmas at his house.  
  
Zero: He wasn't ever good for anything anyway. We can work a plan out  
by yourselves!  
  
Alia: Yes! (picks a scanner from her pocket) We can scan the traces of  
the Turkey with this scanner.  
  
Shin: CONVENIENT, EH? (HICCUPS)  
  
Iris: What are you talking about? Turkeys are almost extinct in 21XX,  
so having a scanner to pick it's readings is necessary...  
  
Alia: Look! I picked four readings around the world. Let me put in the  
big panel.  
  
(Alia does the bidding.)  
  
Zero: One is at a Volcano...  
  
X: The other is at some Magma Warehouse...  
  
Nihs: There's one really close to here. It's in that Video Store,  
"PR0N 'R US".  
  
Shin: (HICCUPS) WHAT A FUNNY NAME FOR A COUNTRY! U R GAY... HEE HEE  
HICCUPS. AND LOOK, THERE'SH A SHCANNER READING THERE, TOO!  
  
Alia: That's where the Reploid Junkyard is...  
  
Sarusdi (crackles fingers): We're gonna have some action!  
  
Marty (picks trident): Yeah!  
  
Zero (makes negative sign with his hands): No. You are staying.  
  
Sarusdi & Marty: WHY?!  
  
X: What if a Maverick attacks this house while we're out? Iris...  
  
Zero: (punches X in the face) Watch your mouth, mudha fugha!  
  
X: ...would be helpless. You stay here and take care of her. Me, Zero,  
Shin and Nihs will handle this, ladies!  
  
Shin: EHHHH?!!!  
  
Nihs: I stand flattered being able to help the Maverick Hunters.  
  
Shin: ASSHKISSHER. (HICCUPS)  
  
Zero: Okay, but who will pick who?  
  
X: Hmmmm... let's see, we got two Magmatic areas. Since those areas are  
always full of one-hit kills and the like, the most recommended hunters  
are you and me for those, Zero.  
  
Zero (nods): Good thinking. So, Shin'll have the Reploid Junkyard and  
Nihs... the... Video Store.  
  
Nihs: Roger.  
  
Shin: WHY DO I HAVE TO SHTICK WITH THE REPLOID JUNKYARD? IT'SH NOT  
FAIR AT ALL!  
  
Zero: Yeah, right, you complain too much.  
  
X: Let's leave already... if we want to get this in time for Christmas!  
It's already 22:00PM!*  
  
Iris: X... be careful, okay?  
  
X: Don't worry.  
  
Zero (eyes burning with unholy rage): Grrr.  
  
Marty: Zero, be safe!  
  
Sarusdi: Yeah, baby! Come back soon for me! (giggles)  
  
Shin: (HICCUPS) Alia, gimme one beer because I'm getting sobber here...  
  
Alia: But, how are you going to beat the Mavericks being drunk?!  
  
Shin: ...I have my puzzles. Hurry up, blondie!  
  
Alia: Okay, okay! Here you go. (hands Shin another beer)  
  
Shin: Aren't you going to wish me good luck and the like?  
  
Alia: No... until X6 I'm supposed to be coldless and have no emotions  
for no one at all! (giggles and winks)  
  
Shin: (drinking beer) Right.... (BURP) Ah, there we go. (Burps again)  
NOW I'M SHET. LET'SH GO.  
  
(The four Hunter step in some teleporters that popped out from nowhere.  
As the females say good bye and the like, they disappear to the  
locations of the Turkey.)  
  
(Uruguay - Reploid Junkyard. Shin teleports in.)  
  
Shin: (BURP) Uaaagah! THAT'SH ONE WILD RIDE... 'TWASH ONLY WORSHE WHEN  
I WASH ON THE TESHTING PROVE FOR ASHTRONAUTS. WELL, NOW LET ME SHEARCH  
FOR THE SHACRED TURKEY AND THE LIKE.  
  
Alia: Shin, do you read me?  
  
Shin: EEEH? ALIA? I DON'T READ YOU, I HEAR YOU.  
  
Alia: (shrugs) Bah, whatever. Listen, we got strong readings 10 meters  
from where you are, going to your right. Maybe you can find something  
useful there!  
  
Shin: RIGHT, RIGHT. (HICCUPS) ARE YOU SHPOTTING WE ALL AT ONCE?  
  
Alia: Yes, but we're following 'DBZ-logic' here. Theorically, things  
are happening at the same time, BUT at the same time, not at the same  
time, giving me nanoseconds to switch the supported Hunter and help you  
all at once!  
  
Shin: SHOUNDSH GOOD TO ME.  
  
(Shin moves to 10 meters by his right, and he finds Morph Moth.)  
  
Shin: MORPH MOTH! GIVE ME BACK THE SHACRED TURKEY PART YOU GOT!  
  
Moth: HA HA HA! Maverick Hunter... defeat me to get it! You stand no  
chance, though!  
  
Shin: HE'SH COMPLETELY RIGHT. I'M A FRIGGING HUMAN, FOR HEAVEN'SH  
SHAKES.  
  
Master Nothing: STUDENT! IDIOT YOU ARE! IDIOT YOU ARE!  
  
Shin: MASHTER NOTHING?! YOU AGAIN?!  
  
Master Nothing: YES! ME IT IS. ONLY I ALLOWED TO KEEP CAPS ON. TURN  
OFF CAPS YOUR.  
  
Shin: Shorry about that.  
  
Master Nothing: NOW, OUR TRAINING REMEMBER! DRUNKEN I WAS! BEAT ME  
YOU COULDN'T EVEN THAT WAY, TEACHED I YOU THE DRUNKEN FISTS TECHNIQUE  
BECAUSE!  
  
Shin: Oh yeah... that Houshin Engi rip-off, shure! I remember!  
  
Master Nothing: HELL THEM GIVE, STUDENT. HELL THEM GIVE. (voice fades  
off)  
  
Moth: ...Can I attack you now? It's kinda sucky to keep static while  
other characters have flashbacks and such.  
  
Shin: Bring it on, shtupid!  
  
Moth (dives at Shin, punching him): HAH! What?! I missed?!  
  
Shin (evades the attack): Bwa Ha Ha! It'sh the boozed dance of death!  
(Poses like Japanese Super Sentai hero while flashy screens and sounds  
aid him to give 'dramatic effect' to this ridiculous scene) You shtand  
no chance of winning!  
  
Moth: Shut up, you! (dives once again, once more misses, is punched by  
Shin)  
  
Shin: I am God moding and it'sh sho... LIBERATING! Hee Hee Hee. Get up,  
little butterfly!  
  
(Video Store)  
  
Nihs (teleports in): Everything is dark. So, this is the Video Store.  
  
Alia: Nihs, do you read me?  
  
Nihs: Yes, Alia. Are you picking any readings?  
  
Alia: No... there's something jamming the frequency. Sorry, but you're  
on your own.  
  
Nihs: Well, whatever. Thanks for the help anyway.  
  
MYSTERIOUSVOICE: Ha Ha Ha Ha... Welcome to your demise, Maverick  
Hunter.  
  
Nihs: Who's there?  
  
MYSTERIOUSVOICE: I am the strongest warrior, of the Universe!  
BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHH!!! (Retarded scream as he jumps on Nihs)  
  
Nihs: Huh! A surprise attack?!  
  
(Scene freezes with Nihs and the shadow in mid air as a noise comes  
from inside Nihs' armor)  
  
Nihs: Hey, wait, my cell phone is beeping. (opens cell phone) Oh, it's  
you, Mr. Homeless Man. What's up? What, you need more money? Jesus, I  
have none left.  
  
MYSTERIOUSVOICE: ...Can I... move...? (trembling in mid air)  
  
Nihs: (makes gesture with hand, saying 'Not yet') Well, I can point you  
out a good strategy to sell books. BUT, you'll have to be a bit...  
well, 'open minded'. You don't care? Well, alright. Do this...  
  
(Dinorex's Warehouse)  
  
(Dinorex is laid on his couch, watching TV. An army of penguins wearing  
'heat-resistent' suits comes on the room, carrying a fridge.)  
  
Dinorex: Uh? What's that?  
  
(The fridge's door begin opening slowly. Penguin's inside of it, laid  
like Dracula. He stands up the same way uncle Drac does.)  
  
Penguin (opens eyes): Hey, Burnie.  
  
Dinorex: Penguin! It's been a while. What brings you here?  
  
Penguin: Well, nothing important. Since we're making a movie that  
doesn't make any difference to storyline, I'm authored to take over  
your Warehouse for a short while and make it my lair.  
  
Dinorex: Eh? But I just moved! X5 will happen in some time, and I want  
to spend a good time here! I even called my friends for a party!  
  
Penguin: Sorry, rules are rules, young dino.  
  
Dinorex: (mumbles angrily) Alright, alright. Knock yourself out.  
(leaves the room, picks a Cell phone) Heatnix? You be on your house  
tonight?  
  
Penguin: Well, now let's begin changing the decoration here. X will  
arrive soon!  
  
(Outside the Warehouse. X arrives)  
  
X: Well, inside must be a piece of the Turkey. Huh? What's this?  
  
(X finds a Light Capsule.)  
  
Light: X, enter this Capsule. It'll give you the "Heat Proof Armor",  
making this easy stage 10 times easier. Don't hold back, crush them.  
  
X: I love these profetical speeches. (Enters Capsule)  
  
(Volcano)  
  
(Magma Dragoon stands in a room, hitting a Zero plushie with awesome  
fighting moves.)  
  
Dragoon: (breathes heavily) I got to perfect my techniques. This time,  
I WILL beat Zero! (continues punching)  
  
Zero (enters the room): Heya, Drag.  
  
Dragoon: WHAT? SO FAST ALREADY?  
  
Zero: I took a shortcut. You know, it's the second time I'm doing this  
damn stage. I didn't even need Alia's help, I simply turned my radio  
off.  
  
(Iris' house)  
  
Alia: I wonder why I can't contact Zero...  
  
(Volcano)  
  
Zero: Well, prepare yourself, Dragoon! I know you won't give me the  
Sacred Turkey part anyway, so just fight and die. After all, it's what  
you want, right? A fight to the death. AGAIN.  
  
Dragoon: ...Who said I just wanted to fight?  
  
Zero: ...you didn't?  
  
Dragoon: Hmmm... no.  
  
Zero: Then what was your purpose?  
  
Dragoon: According to this "Guide to Mega Man X characters", I wanted  
to ruin yours and X's relationship. (Hands Guide to Zero)  
  
Zero: (picks guide) You IDIOT, this is an Yaoi doujinshi. Not official  
crap.  
  
Dragoon: OH?!  
  
Zero: Yes, stupid. You got cheated.  
  
Dragoon: But look, there's the CAPCOM logo in it!  
  
Zero: Read the small letters above, dumbass.  
  
Dragoon (picks Guide): "Not licensed by... CAPCOM." Grrr!!!! And to  
think I spent 10 bucks in this crappy drawn thing!  
  
Zero: Yes, yes. Say, let's make a deal. You give me the piece of the  
Turkey, and I help you beat whoever sold you this guide to a lifeless  
blood pulp. How's it sound?  
  
Dragoon: Sensible enough to me. (hands piece of the Turkey to Zero)  
Here you go.  
  
Zero: Why, thank you. Now, if you care to tell me where exactly you  
bought this 'guide'.  
  
(North Pole)  
  
(Star Wars "Imperial March" starts playing.)  
  
???: HA HA HA HA!!! PREPARE YOURSELF, SANTA CLAUS! (Storms an eskimo  
house)  
  
Corean guy: Oh, hi there, Mister Bald Head. May I help you?  
  
???: ...Isn't this where Santa Claus lives?  
  
Corean guy: Sorry, sir, he lives in the SOUTH pole. I'm just a fishman.  
  
???: Oh. Thanks. Sorry for destroying your house.  
  
Corean guy: No problem.  
  
??? (goes running to the other hemisphere): HA HA HA HA HA!!! I WON'T  
GIVE UP! (Evil fanfare playing in background)  
  
(South Pole, some hours later)  
  
???: HA HA HA HA! PREPARE YOURSELF, SANTA CLAUS! (Destroys eskimo house  
again)  
  
Leprechaun: Argh! Yet another evil villain going to kidnap Santa? It  
ALWAYS happens in Christmas time!  
  
???: YES! HAHAHAHAH! Because I'm damn evil! Fu, fu, fu... Bwa ha ha ha!  
Now where is he?  
  
Leprechaun: He knew this would happen, so he simply moved to Amazon.  
  
???: EH?  
  
Leprechaun: Yep. And he left me in charge of this hell hole. But since  
I hate him, I can give you his location.  
  
???: Oh, why, thank you.  
  
Leprechaun: Here you go. Pick this map and you'll be fine.  
  
???: Thanks again. (Evil fanfare swells in the background) HA HA HA HA!  
I'M NEVER GIVING UP! (begins running to Amazon)  
  
(Reploid Junkyard)  
  
Shin (still beating Morph Moth): Why don't you give up? I'm shust  
invenshinble, hiccups. I'm GOD MODING!  
  
Moth: Oh, really? Then, take this, Interplanetary Bozo! (begins  
flapping wings, and a polen is dropped by them)  
  
Shin (Coughs): Cough, cough! It sheems like shome kind... of... gash,  
or polen. Hiccups.  
  
Moth: This is the Kintavé polen! After breathing it, you must eat flesh  
of Reploids to survive. I've turned you into a flaming cannibal. Ha Ha  
Ha Ha!  
  
Shin: Sherioushly?  
  
Moth: Yep.  
  
Shin: Too bad for you only my Armor ish a Reploid. I'm a human.  
  
Moth: EH?!  
  
Shin: Yesh, that'sh right. Right, Armor?  
  
Shin's Armor: Yea, dude.  
  
Moth: YOUR ARMOR TALKS?  
  
Shin: Yep.  
  
Moth: Then why didn't it say anything before?  
  
Armor: Nobody asked me, duh!  
  
Shin: Hmmm? It sheems like there'sh a voiche inshide of my head...  
  
Moth's voice (Inside of Shin's head): EAT FLESH OF REPLOIDS TO SURVIVE!  
EAT FLESH OF REPLOIDS TO SURVIVE! HA HA HA HA!!!  
  
Shin (eyes goes red): Moth... you're sheeming delichioush today.  
  
Moth: Oh, crap! No, don't do it! I'm... poisonous! Yeah!  
  
Shin: I don't care! (begins biting Moth) HA HA HA HA!!!  
  
Moth: Urgh! Well, at least (Chomp) AHHH! he will (Munch) UHHH!!! kill  
his Reploid (Munchie Munchie) AAARRRGHHHH!!! friends later on! HA HA  
HA HA AAAAAUUUGHHHH!!!  
  
Shin: Delichioush. (Burps, wipes Moth's blood out of lips) Now, where  
ish that Shacred Turkey? Ah, there it is. (picks Turkey from the  
ground) Now I'll shimply return to Irish and...  
  
??? 2: STOP RIGHT THAT, LITTLE BOY!  
  
Shin: The fuck? Who'sh there? (HICCUPS)  
  
??? 2: The Co-General of ERDES! You may have defeated Moth, but you  
will never beat me or boss!  
  
Shin: Really? Can you shtep out of the shadowsh?  
  
??? 2: No, because I'm a... MYSTERIOUSMAVERICK! HA HA HA HA!  
  
Shin: Oh, give me a damn break, VAVILE!  
  
Vile: EH?! HOW DID YOU FIND OUT?  
  
Shin: Whatever. Come here sho I can... Wait. Thish ish an Anime Movie  
parody, right?  
  
Vile: Hmmm, I guess.  
  
Shin: And in Anime Moviesh, no matter what, the heroesh are alwaysh  
beaten to hell before they give payback.  
  
Vile: Yep, that's true.  
  
Shin: Sho by logic, I can't beat you. I must be defeated incredibly to  
give the main heroesh motivation to crush you.  
  
Vile: Yeah, that's true!  
  
Shin: Sho defeat me already, VAVA Fett.  
  
Vile: Alright. SHOULDER CANNON! (Blasts Shin)  
  
Shin: AUUUGHHHH!!!  
  
Armor: Aaaaa!!! (Dies and is exploded)  
  
Shin: You didn't have to deshtroy my beautiful armor!  
  
Vile: Sorry, got carried away. Anyway, tell X I'm waiting for him,  
right? Because I'm gonna haunt him to the day he dies!  
  
Shin: Yeah, yeah. When the heroesh find my dying body, I'll tell him.  
(Faints)  
  
Vile: Okay! See ya! (Disappears)  
  
(Video Store)  
  
Nihs: ...and that's what you should do, Mr. Homeless Man. Best of the  
luck to you. Hmm, yes, the more improbable it is, the more they will  
like. Okay, see you!  
  
MYSTERIOUSVOICE: Can... Can I proceed now?  
  
Nihs: (closes Cell Phone, thumbs up) Go on.  
  
MYSTERIOUSVOICE: (Goes forward) HAH! (Stumbles in an invisible cable  
because of darkness and roll right away in the ground)  
  
Nihs: Now that's unexpected.  
  
MYSTERIOUSVOICE: Hee Hee Hee. Prepare to be deleted, Hunter!  
  
Nihs: We're pre-X6 and 5, you can say killed, or whatever suits your  
needs.  
  
MYSTERIOUSVOICE: Oh, thanks! Anyways, I'm gonna kill you! Because I'm  
Volt Catfish, leader of the ERDES!  
  
Nihs: Oh, so you're Catfish. Right.  
  
Catfish (runs to Nihs): YAAAAA!!!! (Tries to eletric punch Nihs, miss  
by a landslide and falls in the ground)  
  
Nihs: You're not very good at this, are you?  
  
Catfish: Argh! It's just that everything is just so damn dark here, I  
can't see a thing! If I paid my bills, this place would have  
electricity!  
  
Nihs: Wait a second. You OWN this place?  
  
Catfish: Yep.  
  
Nihs: And you don't pay your Energy bill.  
  
Catfish: No.  
  
Nihs: Why don't you simply use your Electric powers to bring light to  
this place, just so we can fight properly.  
  
Catfish: ... (snaps) My, you're a clever enemy. (I'd better watch out  
for him!) (Starts filling the room with electricity)  
  
Nihs: Right! We can see each other. But, the rest of the Video Store  
isn't visible. Why don't you force your powers a little more?  
  
Catfish: Hmmm... okay, since it's for better visibility. I hate  
stumping on stuff I can't see. (forces more)  
  
Nihs: Yes, yes, keep going! We're almost there!  
  
Catfish: I... can't... take... no... more!  
  
Nihs: No, no, keep going! YOU CAN DO IT!  
  
Catfish: O... Okay... (forces even more) Aaa... aa.. AHHRGGHHHHh!!!!  
(Blows up)  
  
Nihs: Now that was just, plain, easy. (Picks Scanner from pocket,  
searches for reading of the Turkey, pick it up) Alia, teleport me back,  
okay?  
  
(Dinorex's Warehouse.)  
  
Alia: X, do you read me? This Warehouse...  
  
X: No, don't worry, Alia. I already got that covered with my uncanny  
Heat Proof Armor!  
  
Alia: It's not that. The...  
  
X: Don't worry. I'm breaking contact! (turns radio off)  
  
Alia: ... Idiot.  
  
X: Well, time to go!   
  
(X jumps to the entrance, to find...)  
  
X: ...EVERYTHING FROZEN?  
  
(Amazon)  
  
???: Excuse me, are you Commander Yanmark?  
  
Dragonfly: Yep, that's me.  
  
???: Is it true that Santa Claus is living here?  
  
Yanmark: Well, he used to.  
  
???: USED...?  
  
Yanmark: Well, you know. He had to move because he attracted too much  
attention here.  
  
???: And WHERE IS HE NOW?  
  
Yanmark: Since he didn't want to be bothered anymore, he made a risky  
choice and moved to the Land of Evilness, living underground.  
  
???: Great. I've travelled the world, and he's MY NEIGHBOR!  
  
Yanmark: Well, sorry, sir. Hope you have better luck.  
  
???: I will. (Evil fanfare once more plays) HA HA HA HA! I'LL NEVER  
GIVE UP! (disappears running in the horizon)  
  
(Some City.)  
  
Dragoon: ...And this is where I bought the guide.  
  
Zero: ...  
  
Dragoon: What?  
  
Zero: "Shonen-Ai Fan Club." WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU EXPECT?!  
  
Dragoon: Hey, I was told they have top notch info on the games!  
  
Zero: Sure, sure. Anyway, since it's Christmas, and 23:00PM almost,  
there's nobody here. We can't get revenge today, as you can see.  
  
Dragoon: Blast!  
  
Zero: Well, since you have regenerated, I don't think there'll be a  
problem if you participate in your Christmas party.  
  
Dragoon: What? Really?!  
  
Zero: Yeah, let's get going. (begins walking) Hey... what is that in  
the horizon? Seems like a huge crowd approaching!  
  
Dragoon: What? Let me look. CRAP! Look at that huge sign!  
  
Zero: "21XX'S XMAS YAOI CONFERENCE. ^_-" BLAST! Let's scat outta here!  
  
Dragoon: You bet!  
  
Fangirl 1: Look! ZERO AND DRAGOON! KAWAIII!!!!  
  
Fangirl 2: We must get one of them! ^_- Or both! *^_^*  
  
Zero: Shit, we've been spotted! They're comming!  
  
Dragoon: And they're fast!  
  
(Zero and Dragoon use all they can to escape, but when you're facing  
hormonal fans, they always pull out their limits.... and they reach  
both Zero and Dragoon.)  
  
Zero: (breathing heavily) Huff, huff... I'm... sorry, Dragoon....  
  
Dragoon: W... why? Huff, huff...  
  
Zero: For... this. (grabs Dragoon) HEY, GALS! And... BOYS, I guess. You  
want me or Dragoon?  
  
All in Unision: YAAAAY!!! ^_^  
  
Zero: THEN GO GET 'IM! (Throws Dragoon in the crowd and runs like there  
is absolutely no tomorrow)  
  
Dragoon: ZERO! DAMN YOUUUUUU... (is engulfed by the fangirls)  
  
Zero (turns on radio): ALIAAAAA-! TELEPORT ME BACK, G'DAMMIT!  
  
(Penguin's room)  
  
Penguin: X, what did take you so long?!  
  
X: Oh, nothing. I have an Armor that can WALK INSIDE OF MAGMA, but is  
extremely WEAK to cold temperatures! It would be easier for me to  
finish this stage without jump and dash than with this armor!  
  
Penguin: Wow, sounds like you had a really bad time.  
  
X: Oh, yes I did. And since you're the closest escape valve for me, I'm  
gonna blow you up.  
  
Penguin: Really?  
  
X: Yeah. Got a problem with that?  
  
Penguin: After dying in X1, Cyber Mission and Soul Eraser, YES! I don't  
want to die no more. And to make sure I'll stay alive... (picks piece  
of the Turkey)  
  
X: The Turkey!  
  
Penguin: ...I'll do this! (Swallows the piece)  
  
X: WHAT?!  
  
Penguin: Hmmm, that was very good.  
  
X: PUKE THAT UP! (punches Penguin's stomach)  
  
Penguin: UGHHH!!! (spits water)  
  
X: C'MON! PUKE IT UP! (keeps punching)  
  
Penguin: UH! UGH! ARGH! AAAH!!!!  
  
X: WHY WON'T YA PUKE IT UP?!  
  
Penguin: Because I want to stay alive! IUUGGHHHH!!!  
  
X: Fine. I'm taking you with me to Iris' house! (Turns Radio on) Alia,  
teleport me back. I have a little 'gift' with me...  
  
(Island of Evilness)  
  
??? (arrives): So, he's in the Underground... (starts digging with  
hands) HA HA HA HA!!!! PREPARE YOURSELF, SANTA CLAUS!!!  
  
(Much, much time after)  
  
???: Huff, huff... this seems it. Fu fu fu... Bwa Ha Ha Ha! PREPARE  
YOURSELF, SANTA CLAUS! (Storms through wooden door)  
  
Santa Claus: What! Hell, yet another vile villain trying to kidnap me  
in Christmas?  
  
???: Fu fu fu... BWA HA HA HA HA!!! YES, IT'S RIGHT, OLD MAN! Happiness  
is forbidden while I'm around! I want to see little kids crying! HA,  
HA, HA!!!  
  
Santa Claus: Sure, sure. I know these clichés very well, and you won't  
kill me because this is clearly an episode for children. So, just  
kidnap me and let's get over with this when the heroes of whichever  
series you're from pops out to rescue me.  
  
???: Hee Hee Hee. You're clever, Santa. So, come with me! Fu, fu, fu,  
Bwa Ha Ha Ha!  
  
Santa: What kind of laugh is 'Fu, fu, fu'? Even 'Ho, ho, ho' is more  
menacing than that, you idiot!  
  
???: ... (eyes water) YOU YELLED AT ME! (sobs)  
  
Santa: Bah, move it, wuss! I'm tired of this... I think I should get  
retired.  
  
???: Okay. (stops sobbing, grabs Santa by arm and goes out running) HA,  
HA, HA!!! I EARNED IT! BWA HA HA HA!!!  
  
(Iris' house.)  
  
Alia: So, Nihs, X and Zero are here... And... PENGUIN?  
  
X: He swallowed a piece of the Turkey, that is. And the bastard won't  
puke it up.  
  
Zero: Leave this to me! (draws Beam Saber)  
  
Penguin: WHAT?! (stares wide eyed)  
  
Sarusdi (aside): What happened to that idiot, Shin?  
  
Alia: Hmmm... his readings are still in the Reploid Junkyard. Also, the  
Turkey seems to be very close to him, and I pick no Maverick readings.  
Can someone go rescue him? Something probably happened.  
  
X: I'll go, Alia. (stands in teleporter)  
  
Alia: Okay. Be careful in any case. (teleports X)  
  
Zero (holding a Turkey piece): Aha! Here is the turkey piece!  
  
Marty: How did you take it off, Zero?  
  
Zero: I opened Penguin's body with the saber, duh.  
  
ALL: ...  
  
Penguin: Ugh. I can't believe I didn't die. Can someone fix this hole  
in my chest, please? Thanks!  
  
(Reploid Junkyard)  
  
Shin (wakes up): Uhnnn... sobber... hungry.... armor... destroyed. This  
sucks, major ass.  
  
Moth's voice (in Shin's mind): EAT FLESH OF REPLOIDS TO SURVIVE! EAT  
FLESH OF REPLOIDS TO SURVIVE! HA HA HA HA HA!!!  
  
Shin (eyes goes red): Must find Reploids. Where are Reploids? Damn, my  
armor was one, but that bastard, Vile, destroyed it. Hey, what's that  
eerie glow? It's gotta be a Reploid! (runs to the light)  
  
(Shin finds a Light Capsule.)  
  
Shin: THE HELL?  
  
Dr. Light: Enter this capsule, Shin. This will give you your old armor  
back, and also dispell the Kintavé curse of your organism.  
  
Shin: I'm not a Reploid, old man. I'm a human.  
  
Dr. Light: Really?  
  
Shin: Yeah.  
  
Dr. Light: Huhh...  
  
Shin: ...You seem tasty. Are you a Reploidic hologram?  
  
Dr. Light: Shut up, and get in the capsule. This is a crappy fanfic  
where logic doesn't exist, forgot?  
  
Shin: Oh yeah! Sorry 'bout that.  
  
(Shin enters the capsule, and is healed, gets Armor back, and stuff.)  
  
Shin: Gotta love these cliff-hang enders that are just so convienent.  
  
X (spots Shin): Hey, man, what the hell are you doing? We have to go  
back to Iris' in time for Xmas!  
  
Shin: Oh, sorry about that. I just had some small problems.  
  
X: Is that a... Light Capsule?  
  
Shin: No, you're just seeing things. Let's scat already, for it's  
23:00PM.  
  
X: Huh, okay. Alia, beam us.  
  
(Shin and X disappears.)  
  
(Iris house, X and Shin arrives)  
  
Alia: X, Shin! We just received...  
  
X: What is it, Alia?  
  
Zero: Just look at the screen, duh.  
  
X: Oh. (Looks at screen)  
  
Shadow at Screen: Ha Ha Ha Ha. Hello, Maverick Hunters. I'm a  
MYSTERIOUSMAVERICK. Me and my boss...  
  
X: Vile, give me a break, God dammit! It's Xmas. You're ALWAYS coming  
back with this stupid alias to try to defeat me!  
  
Vile: ... You noted this pretty fast. Anyway, me and my boss have  
kidnapped Santa Claus.  
  
ALL: WHAT?!  
  
Vile: And we're gonna ruin the Xmas of million of kids waiting for  
their presents, because, like, we're evil. Unless you come here and  
stop us! Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha!  
  
Zero: You bastards! How dare you try to ruin their happiness?  
  
Shin: Hmmm... you gotta love these stereotyped Xmas Stories for kids.  
Yup.  
  
Vile: Hee Hee Hee Haa Haa... just try and stop us, Zero! We're waiting  
for you at the Island of Evilness! Ha, ha, ha, cough, cough, cough.  
(Fades from monitor)  
  
Iris: Well, we solved a problem, but we got yet another...  
  
X: We must go there and bring Santa Claus back! It's not real Xmas when  
not everybody is having fun and the like, and dozens of kids are  
crying because Santa didn't come!  
  
Iris: Oh, X, I just love your speeches! (hugs X)  
  
Zero (turning red): Control... fury... jealousy...  
  
Nihs: Anyway, we've got to rush to the Island of Evilness, because we  
have to save Santa Claus before 00:00AM, which I'm pretty sure that  
will happen just in the nick of time, like it's supposed to be.  
  
Alia: Well, well, true. You guys go back to the Teleportation Room,  
okay? I'll send you four to the Island of Evilness.  
  
Marty: Zero, be careful!  
  
Sarusdi: Yeah, I'll be waiting for you!  
  
Marty: Uselessly, because he'll come back for ME!  
  
Sarusdi: Dream on, bitch!  
  
Marty: Who's the bitch, Catgirl? (scratches Sarusdi's face)  
  
Sarusdi: Arghh! (both engage into fighting)  
  
Shin: CATFIGHT! Woohoo!  
  
Nihs: Be affected by your hormones later, young boy. We got to save  
Christmas!  
  
Shin: Bah, you go because I'm not going.  
  
Nihs: Yes, you are. It's in the script. Just be a good boy and  
cooperate. (walks off)  
  
Shin (mumbles angrily): This is the worst Christmas of my life!  
(follows Nihs)  
  
(Teleportation Room)  
  
Alia: Coordinates fixed. BLAST-OFF! (presses a key in her keyboard)  
  
Shin and Nihs: EUGH! I hate this line.  
  
(X, Zero, Shin and Nihs disappear.)  
  
(Island of Evilness. X and Zero falls in.)  
  
X: There! Sigma must be at the Skull Castle.  
  
Zero: How are you so sure, blue boy?  
  
X: (points to sign saying "MEGA MAN VILLAINS: SKULL CASTLE.";  
"CASTLEVANIA VILLAINS: GOTHIC CASTLE."; "HOUSHIN ENGI VILLAINS: IN  
CASTLE RECONSTRUCTION. Please make your stay at Island of Evilness like  
you're at home. Island of Evilness, the #1 place for evil villains.")  
  
Zero: Companies are so cheap today, they even rent Islands where other  
Villains are in already!  
  
X: Yeah. Well, let's get going!  
  
Zero: Wait. Where are those two humans?  
  
X (looks around): Yeah, good question! Where are they?  
  
(Metalshark Player's stage)  
  
Shin: AAAHHHHH!!! NIHS, GIVE ME A HAND, GOD DAMMIT!!! (is crouching in  
a very uncomfortable position)  
  
Nihs: I can't. If I stand up, I'll be SMASHED. Stay crouching and don't  
move until the Smasher goes far, far up!  
  
(Control Room)  
  
Metalshark: Hmmm, I think I already smashed enough junk for today. I'll  
leave the Smasher the way it is. (Yawns) Now, let me sleep.  
  
(The Smasher's room of love.)  
  
Shin: HOW THE HELL DID WE GET IN HERE, ANYWAY?!!  
  
Alia (communicator): Well, you two, wiseasses, SAID stuff while being  
teleported. That screws up the coordinates and you fall at another  
places!  
  
Shin: OH, GREAT! JUST GET US OUT OF HERE! MY BACK IS HURTING FROM  
STANDING IN THIS POSITION!  
  
Alia: Unfortunately, I can't teleport you too with so little room. You  
have to wait for the Smasher give you more space...  
  
Shin: AAAHHHHH!!!!  
  
Nihs: This is gonna be one LONG night...  
  
(Island of Evilness. X and Zero thread inside the Skull Caslte, and  
are greeted by Vile stand inside of yet another huge-ass Mech.)  
  
Vile: Hee Hee Hee. Prepare yourselves, X and Zero! This is the moment  
of my victory!  
  
Zero (blinks to X): Strategy #211.  
  
X (blinks back): Vile, you're such a wuss.  
  
Vile: EH?  
  
X: Always relying on Ride Armors. You're not man enough to face me hand  
to hand, eh?  
  
Vile: What, you think I'm scared of you?  
  
X: Yeah, you big fat chicken.  
  
Vile (jumps from Ride Armor): So, let's go! Bare hands! You and me, in  
a Steel Cage!  
  
X: Sure.  
  
Zero (voice coming from behind): Hey, Vile!  
  
Vile (looks to Zero): WHA?!  
  
Zero (inside of Vile's Ride Armor): Hope ya don't mind. (Smashes Vile  
against a wall with the Ride Armor's hand)  
  
Vile: Pain.  
  
X: Sorry, Vile, no time to play. We got to save Christmas. Let's go,  
Zero!  
  
Zero: Yup. (goes on with the Ride Armor)  
  
X: Hmm... it's a Boss Gate.  
  
Zero: Too small for the Ride Armor to pass.  
  
X: You'll have to abandon it.  
  
Zero: Crap. (Jumps from Ride Armor) It's ALWAYS like this.  
  
(X and Zero enters the Boss Gate, and find Sigma there.)  
  
Sigma: Fu fu fu... Gya ha ha ha ha!  
  
X: What! Sigma!  
  
Zero: You were behind of all of this?!  
  
Sigma: YES! Fu, fu, fu... BWA HA HA HA!!! You and your allies even  
defeated the ERDES. I'm impressed. Bwa Ha Ha Ha!  
  
X: ERDES...?  
  
Sigma: Eight Reploids of Despair, Evil and Sadness, that is.  
  
Zero: Wait a second. There were only four of them.  
  
Sigma: Really?  
  
Zero: Really.  
  
X: And still they called themselves ERDES, according to Nihs when he  
battled Catfish.  
  
Sigma: ...well, Math was never my speciality.  
  
Zero: That's obvious.  
  
Sigma: Well, you won't be able to evade this attack! Gya ha ha ha ha!!!  
(disappears and attacks X and Zero)  
  
X: Ungh!  
  
Zero: Argh!  
  
Sigma: Bwa Ha Ha Ha! I've won!  
  
X (activates Heat Proof Armor): Not so fast, Siggy!  
  
Sigma: Hee Hee Hee... I observed your weakness, X! Take this! SIGMA'S  
SUPER WONDERFUL AND MIRACULOUS ICE FREEZING ATTACK!  
  
X: ARGHHHH!!! (armor falls destroyed in thousands of pieces)  
  
Zero: X!  
  
X (laid on ground): I HATE it how villains are overpower in 'Movies'.  
Ungh.  
  
Sigma: Bwa Ha Ha Ha! It's the end of the line for you both!  
  
?????: Not so fast, damned villain!  
  
Sigma: Eh? Who's there?  
  
X: PENGUIN?!  
  
Zero: What?! How...?  
  
Penguin: Ruining the Hunters' happiness is one thing! But the kids all  
around the world are innocent! I won't let you do that, Sigma!  
  
Sigma: And how will you stop me with that huge hole in your chest? Ha,  
Ha, Ha, Ha!  
  
Penguin (dashes at Sigma): LIKE THIS!!! (smashes him into a wall with  
his head)  
  
X & Zero: WHOA.  
  
Sigma: Gaaahhh!!! (blows up)  
  
(Sigma's huge second form comes in, and smashes Penguin with his hands)  
  
Sigma: Well, now that's the absolute end of the ERDES! HA, HA, HA, HA!  
  
X: Crap! Penguin's defeated! Our last hope... is gone...  
  
Sigma: BWA HA HA HA! It's the end of line for Christmas! Soon enough it  
will be Midnight! Bwa, Ha, Ha, Ha!  
  
Zero: Damn it! Only if I could at least stand up...  
  
Dr. Light: X! Don't give up.  
  
X: Dr. Light?!  
  
Dr. Light: X, enter this capsule. I'll give the Ultimate Armor, just so  
you can beat such a terrible villain!  
  
Zero: Convienent, eh?  
  
(X enters the magically created Capsule, and gets the Ultimate Armor.)  
  
X: Aha! Sigma, prepare yourself! Now I have unlimited Nova Strikes!  
  
Sigma: And I'm at level 96! Look at my life bar! BWA HA HA HA!  
  
X: Whatever. Prepare to go down! (Nova Strikes Sigma)  
  
Sigma: Ungh! You can try, but you'll never win, X! Never! Evil will  
prevail! Bwa, Ha, Ha, Ha!  
  
X: (Continues Nova Striking Sigma)  
  
Sigma: I'm indestructible! I'll ruin any chance of happiness this world  
can ever experience! I'll come back again and again!  
  
X: (Continues Nova Striking Sigma)  
  
Sigma: You will NEVER win! As long as evil exists... as long as evil  
exists in the minds of humans... as long as Maverick exists... I'll  
come back, again and again!  
  
X: (Continues Nova Striking Sigma)  
  
Sigma: X, Zero... I'll pursue you to the end of the world! BWA HA HA HA  
HA AH HA!  
  
X: (Continues Nova Striking Sigma)  
  
Sigma: Argh, he's pretty tough. At this rate he'll win easily.  
  
X: Sure thing. This is the Ultimate Armor, God dammit! And in this  
kind of movies, the hero is beaten to a lifeless blood pulp by the  
villain, and when he beats the villain, it's with one single attack!  
  
Sigma (begins blowing up): WHOOOAAAA! It's not fair! NOT FAIR!!! GWAA!!  
But it's useless! USELESS!!!  
  
Zero (comes with Santa Claus in the room): While you two were battling,  
I rescued the good old man.  
  
X: Good job.  
  
Sigma: Gwaaaaa!!! Santa, I'll HAVE my revenge on you! (blowing up)  
  
X: Revenge? Why is that?  
  
Sigma: He... never... NEVER brings me presents!!! (STILL blowing up)  
  
Santa: What is your name, my son?  
  
Sigma: SIGMA. (Blowing up)  
  
Santa: Hey! Look, this year you didn't try to take over the world, and  
you were a fairly good boy... I WAS going to give you that thing you  
asked me for!  
  
Sigma: WHAT!? ARE YOU SERIOUS?! (Still blowing up.)  
  
Santa: Yes. "The Sims 21XX World Domination Simulation Edition".  
  
Sigma (eyes water, lips tremble): ...I'M SO SORRY, SANTA! (Blow, blow,  
blow your body...)  
  
Santa: That's okay, Skeletor from He-Man did the same thing.  
  
X: Well, Sigma, just to make sure you learned your lesson, I'll finish  
blowing you up, okay?  
  
Sigma: Go ahead, X. Thanks, Santa.  
  
Santa: You're welcome.  
  
X: (Nova Strikes Sigma)  
  
Sigma: (Blows up defenatly.)  
  
Zero: Well, our job is done!  
  
Santa: And I have to begin handling the gifts. Thanks, boys!  
  
X & Zero: No problem, Santa!  
  
(Metalshark Player's stage)  
  
Metalshark: Yowza! It's almost 00:00AM, and I left the Smasher that  
way... if Santa comes, he won't be able to make it to the fireplace!  
(Activates the Smasher, which goes straight uphead)  
  
Shin: THANKYOU, GOD! THANKYOU. (stands up, a crackle goes through his  
back. Falls to the ground) Spine... broken. PAIN.  
  
Nihs: Alia, get us out of here!  
  
(Iris house, moments later)  
  
Iris: Wow, X, so you did save the Christmas... (giggles)  
  
Marty: Hey, Zero helped, too!  
  
Sarusdi: Yeah!  
  
Alia: Shin, are you comfortable?  
  
Shin (laid on the couch): Oh, very. Thanks. Just hope my spine gets in  
shape soon enough.  
  
X: Hey, it's midnight! Merry Xmas, people!  
  
(Everybody starts greeting one another)  
  
Dr. Light (dressed as Santa, still as hologram) : Ho, ho, ho! Merry   
Xmas, people! Santa told me to give you this! First you, X.  
  
X (gets the gift from Light, opens it up): Whoa! It's an Ultimate  
Buster part that DOESN'T lag! Thanks, Dad! (begins shooting like a  
wild man against a wall)  
  
Dr. Light: Now you, Zero.  
  
Zero (gets the gift, opens): Yahoo! Brand new batteries for my Beam  
Saber, which increases the cutting rate to 1200%! Thanks, pops. What  
about the... other wish?  
  
Dr. Light: Santa says he's sorry, but that's a no-no.  
  
Zero: DAMMIT!  
  
Dr. Light: Here you go, Iris.  
  
Iris (gets the gift, touches it): Yay! It's exactly THAT! (giggles)  
  
Alia (whispers to Iris): What did you ask for?  
  
Iris (whispers back): X's underwear! (giggles)  
  
Alia: ...  
  
Dr. Light: You, Alia.  
  
Alia (picks the gift): Whoa. "A Comprehensible guide to understanding  
X's BlackBoxes, by Dr. Thomas Light." Thanks, Doctor! It's all I could  
ask for! (smiles)  
  
Dr. Light: Here you go, Shin.  
  
Shin (picks the present without standing up, opens the package): ...  
(eyes water a lot) My God... it IS the limited edition Yuri doujinshi  
of Rockman X printed only in Japan, featuring all female characters at  
once! THANK YOU SO MUCH, LIGHT! (Sobs and cries non stop)  
  
Dr. Light: Nihs...  
  
Nihs (picks the package and opens it): "The Meaning of Life", by Sun  
Tzu. I appreciate it, Doctor. A lot.  
  
Dr. Light: Sarusdi and Marty... well, what you asked for, has been  
granted... but I think it'll have to be you altogether.  
  
Marty: Eh?!  
  
Sarusdi: Seriously?!  
  
Dr. Light (nods): Yep, or no dice.  
  
Marty & Sarusdi: ...  
  
Zero (mad, mumbling): The OTHER wish didn't work... crap.  
  
Marty: Hey, Zero... why don't you forget about your wish, whatever it  
was, and spend the night with me? (giggles)  
  
Sarusdi: Yeah, Zero... what about with me, too? (giggles and hugs Zero)  
  
Zero: EH?  
  
Shin: I have two words for you, my foe. THREESOME!  
  
Zero (grins evilly): That's... that's an idea.  
  
Marty & Sarusdi: It worked! (smiles)  
  
(Nihs' cellphone starts to ring.)  
  
Nihs: Hello? Oh, it's you, Mr. Homeless man! How's it going?  
  
Mr. Homeless Man: It WORKED, Mr. Nihs! I started writing books about  
famous Hunters and Mavericks having an affair with others of the same  
sex, and it sells like hot cakes! The girls goes after this like there  
is no tomorrow, no matter how senseless it is! I mean, Vile having an  
affair for Lifesaver? I was sure it wouldn't sell, but it's already in  
the Top Ten!  
  
Nihs: Well, I'm glad it worked, Mister!  
  
Mr. Homeless Man: Damn right it did! I already bought a Beach House,  
ten cars, and I'm completely out of misery!  
  
Nihs: Yep, told ya.  
  
Mr. Homeless Man: But... how does this work?  
  
Nihs: Well... let me put this simple. In the game of life, guys like  
lesbians and girls like gays. If you widespread it to famous characters  
they will buy it, because they're under the influence of their  
hormones, and they'd like to see their fantasies made true. Fairly  
simple, no?  
  
Mr. Homeless Man: Yes... makes sense! But... you know, wouldn't it be  
better for me to write about lesbianism then? Since I'm straight and  
all.  
  
Nihs: Wouldn't work. Men doesn't care about reading Yuri. They aim  
straightly for PORN.  
  
Mr. Homeless Man: Oh, I see. Thanks, Mister Nihs! I owe it all to you!  
  
Nihs: You're very welcome. Good luck!  
  
(Nihs closes cell phone)  
  
Shin: So, you saved this guy's tail by telling him to write Yaoi?  
  
Nihs: Exactly. (nods)  
  
Shin: I despise you.  
  
(Heart of the Sword by T.M. Revolution slowly starts to play in the  
background, getting louder and louder)  
  
Hitori de wa, tooi ashita wo (When I'm alone, tomorrow feels far away.)  
Yoake no mama de, koesou de (And I must go over still into the darkness of dawn.)  
  
Shin: How's this related to Christmas?  
  
Nihs: Dunno, but it's a nice ending song.  
  
Shin: Granted.  
  
  
**EPILOGUE**  
Dragoon: So, you're THAT surprised?!  
  
Fangirl 1: Where... where's your...?  
  
Dragoon: I DON'T HAVE ONE! I AM A MACHINE OF DESTRUCTION, FOR  
HEAVEN'S SAKE, NOT A LIVING DILDO!  
  
Fangirl 2: Arrghhh! This can't be! >_  
  
Dragoon: Zero, you will pay. Yes, you will pay.  
  
  
**END EPILOGUE**  
  
Shin: *BURP*. Well, that's the end of the first 'Special' episode!  
I don't know what I had in mind. Anyways, a merry christmas to all of  
you! Don't overdo whatever you love to do, BTWs!  
  
SPECIAL THANKS (sorted in no special order):  
  
MegaMan X Prime  
Renato "RedClyde" Farias  
Kryptech (X6! X6! X6!)  
Reeve (For keeping MMXO and some other stuff. Thanks, man.)  
Leif "TDOMMX" Landelvag (Proofreading and good talk. Fine lad.)  
Nova Triton  
Mirage "Miragotto"  
Tyme Scar  
Hollow  
Maverick Hunter Zero / The Great Saiyaman  
Carlos Alexandre Kenji "Japa" Bendasoli (X6! X6! X6!)  
André Brito  
Lanford  
The people I may have forgot  
  
And YOU, for reading this crap.


	7. Episode #003.5 - MEGA MAN X 2000: ROCKET...

Mega Man X: XTREME UNSTABILITY MAXIMUM  
  
Yes, after two months of delay...  
  
The cataclism shock between the In Game dimension...  
  
Crappy fanfic characters...  
  
Manga characters...  
  
And Yaoi counterparts...  
  
WILL NOT be concluded today!  
  
Rather, we will let you know what the characters are doing in the year  
21XX. So, sit back and "enjoy"...  
  
MEGA MAN X: XTREME UNSTABILITY MAXIMUM  
EPISODE 3.5:  
MEGA MAN X 2000!  
Rocketing into the future  
  
Hello, I am David Calwell. Prepare yourself for the ride of your life!  
  
(Shot of the Hunter Base outside)  
  
This is the Maverick Hunter Base, the place that keeps the world  
peaceful in these violent years, even if killing innocent Reploids in  
the way.  
  
(Footage of X and Zero running.)  
  
And here are our fearless heroes! Where are they heading? What kind of  
world crisis has just taken place?  
  
(X and Zero stands by a tree, looking up)  
  
X: Okay, Zero! This is very complex. A true tightrope.  
  
Zero: Yeah. What do we do?  
  
X: Well, it seems like we have no choice. Cut the tree in half, and I  
will pick him up!  
  
Zero: Okay. (readies Saber, cuts the tree in half)  
  
X: I'll get hiii.... (tree falls on top of X. A kitty goes walking out  
of it.)  
  
Zero: Well, he's safe at least. Are you okay, X?  
  
X: I'm just fine. Can somebody take this tree out of me?  
  
David Calwell: Aaah, a cat saving operation. But not everyday is so  
calm and dandy around these parts! Now, take a look at this.  
  
MEGA MAN X 2000!  
Consummer Service  
  
David: The fearless Hunters even have a comitee to answer the public's  
questions about their organization. Let's listen to what they have to  
say.  
  
Shin: ...This sucks. I am wearing a SPOTTER helmet. (Helmet begins  
emmiting beeps) Hello, Hunter Base. What do you want to know?  
  
Voice in the other side: Hi---!! ^_^  
  
Shin: ...Emoticons. Here we go.  
  
Voice: Hmmm, what did you say? ^_^;;  
  
Shin: Nevermind. What do you have to ask?  
  
Voice: Well... you know, the Captains X and Zero?  
  
Shin: (Eats pop corn) Hmmm, yeah.  
  
Voice: Well... are they... you know? *^_^*  
  
Shin: (Fed up voice) Please be more specific.  
  
Voice: Well... lovers! KAWAIIII!!!! XDDDD  
  
Shin: (Sighs) Thank you very much for supporting the Maverick Hunters  
organization. Please keep your feedback coming! Good bye.  
  
Voice: Huh? He... (Communication is cut out)  
  
(In another cubicle, Nihs is working in the very same position)  
  
Nihs: Hunter Base, how may I help you?  
  
Voice: Heya! ^_^ Well, you know... the captains, X and Zero?  
  
Nihs: Yes, what is with them? Any complaints?  
  
Voice: Only if they're melting my brains being SOOOO cute. XD  
  
Nihs: ...Right. What is your suggestion, complaint or information,  
Miss?  
  
Voice: Well... are they... lovers?! XD  
  
Nihs: We're not supposed to give further info about the Maverick  
Hunter's lifes. Thank you for using our service, though, Miss.  
  
Voice: Awwww! TELL ME TELL ME! o_o  
  
Nihs: Sorry, superior's orders.  
  
Voice: PLLLEEEEASSSSEEEEEEE!!! ._.  
  
Nihs: I...  
  
David: Let's see how are the others doing.  
  
(Cubicle with Sarusdi in it)  
  
Sarusdi: ...AND I CAN TRACK YOUR CALL, BITCH!!! NO ONE TOUCHES MY  
PRECIOUS ZERO-KUN BUT MYSELF!!! (hangs phone)  
  
David: Sarusdi is as happily as ever giving information to the people  
who depends on the Hunter's ability to keep the peace. But let's stop  
here. We don't want to reveal much. Now... feast your eyes on this:  
  
MEGA MAN X 2000  
Disponibility of the Products  
  
Dr. Cain: Drink. Tomato juice is good.  
  
(Explosion effect comes above Dr. Cain's image)  
  
MEGA MAN X 2000  
Recreation Room!  
  
David: As we know, life is not only about blowing stuff up and putting  
Mavericks to permanent sleep. So, let's see what our daring Hunters do  
in their free time!  
  
(More footage, X and Zero standing outside of some locked room)  
  
X: You go first?  
  
Zero: Nah, you can go first.  
  
X: No, you first.  
  
Zero: Okay! (Jumps inside the room)  
  
X: (Crosses arms, looks in the watch)  
  
Zero: (Walks off the room after 2 hours)  
  
X: So, what did you do?  
  
Zero: Made a training simulation and killed 3.000 Mavericks at once.  
  
X: But you spent 2 hours in there!  
  
Zero: I kept looping. Are you going to use the Recreation Room?  
  
X: I planned to.  
  
Zero: Okay, if you say so! (Jumps back in)  
  
MEGA MAN X 2000  
EVERYBODY CAN JOIN!  
  
David: Even though the Maverick Hunters aim at keeping the peace for  
the people, humans mostly, even they can join this fearless  
organization! Take a look.  
  
(More footage)  
  
Shin: Okay... Are you SURE this armor is safe?  
  
Dr. Cain: It's FINE and DANDY. Go blast 'em away, boi!  
  
Shin: No girl yelled?  
  
Dr. Cain: Nah, they just yell when I say this to X or Zero.  
  
Shin: Ah. Right.  
  
(Cuts to Shin in some city, facing a Maverick)  
  
Shin: Okay, Maverick. Let's see if this Armor works! (Points Buster)  
  
Maverick: Give me your best shot.  
  
Shin: Kay. (Shots, Buster begins glowing and the whole armor explodes)  
...Pain.  
  
Maverick: (Laughs, begins kicking Shin in the ground)  
  
Shin: Ugh! Agh! Argh!  
  
David: But not everybody is so fortunate...  
  
Maverick: (Keeps kicking Shin)  
  
David: so keep in mind you might sacrifice your life...  
  
Maverick: (Begins jumping on Shin's body)  
  
David: for the good of the world!   
  
Shin: Arghhh!!!!  
  
Maverick: (Picks a car and runs over Shin's body over and over)  
  
David: But it's never because of our equipments, which are proof   
tested all day long!  
  
Shin: BullAAAAHHHshit. AAAAHHHH!!!  
  
MEGA MAN X 2000  
AWESOME TECHNOLOGY  
  
(Footage of Cain walking along a Laboratory and speaking with the  
Camera Man)  
  
Dr. Cain: Yes, all of our equipments are conveniently manufactured by  
a skillful army of Blue reploids who does anything but make our top  
notch equipments.  
  
(Bit and Byte storm the Blue workers in the background, killing one by  
one)  
  
Dr. Cain: So you see, there's NO chance our 'stuff' can fail. *Grins,  
lightning effect on teeth*  
  
MEGA MAN X 2000  
PUBLIC APPROVED  
  
(Footage of Shin looking to the camera, with glasses and fake mustache)  
  
Mr. Unknown: Yes, I love the Hunters. They do a splendid job.  
Marvelous and flawless.  
  
David: It IS public approved, folks! This isn't a hoax!  
  
Shin (takes out glasses and fake mustache): Argh, this is ridiculous!  
Glad it's over, though.  
  
Technician: We're still taping, dumbass!  
  
Shin: What? Sorry. No, put that gun down! No! NO! NOOOO!!!  
  
(Static fills the screen)  
  
MEGA MAN X 2000  
DON'T LOSE THIS OPPORTUNITY- JOIN NOW!  
  
David: Look to everything you get! A daring fearless duo...  
  
(X and Zero collage shows up)  
  
David: ...a life supply of jellybeans...  
  
(Marty in almost naked outfit holding a can of jellybeans)  
  
David: ...and the opportunity to kill bad guys all day long! Think  
about it: A daring fearless duo...  
  
(X and Zero collage shows up)  
  
David: ...a life supply of jellybeans...  
  
(Marty in almost naked outfit holding a can of jellybeans)  
  
David: ...and the opportunity to kill bad guys all day long! And if  
it's not enough, you also get one month free of the Female Reploid  
bathroom Paper View! Here's a excerpt from the former Hunter worker  
Iris.  
  
(Iris walks in a shower, begins taking off her towel. Then it cuts out.  
Lasted 1 second.)  
  
David: Let's stop here, we don't want to reveal much. Now, we're  
waiting for you! The Maverick Hunters need you, YOU, and YOU! See you  
here!  
  
(Screen fades out. X, Zero, Iris, Marty, Shin, Nihs and Sarusdi look  
stunned. They look to Silverplated Head, Signas' predecessor, whom is  
smiling)  
  
Silverplated Head: I really like this Ad. What about you?  
  
Nihs: ...Excuse me, sir, but it seems rather male based.  
  
Silverplated Head: Well, Einstein, kiss my ass! You got that right, you  
dumbfuck!  
  
Shin: (Jawdrops)  
  
Sarusdi: (Picks Shin's jaw) What is it, why are you surprised?  
  
Shin: A commander talking like that?  
  
Marty: (sighs) Silverplated is ALWAYS like that.  
  
Silverplated: Yeah, mah love. Now strip for me.  
  
Marty: Idiot. (Punches Silverplated Head and leaves the room)  
  
Nihs: Then again, why do we need more Males in the Hunter Base? I think  
all of the Hunters, or at least a Majority, are male?  
  
Silverplated: Yeah, dumbass, that used to be true. But after the  
Repliforce incident began, they all joined the other side, since they  
want Reploid freedom and all that shit. So, all of our recruits now  
are... (Gets up from his desk, walks to a courtain window. Opens  
curtain) ...THOSE! (Points to outside)  
  
(Shin, Nihs and Sarusdi walks to outside)  
  
Crowd: YAAAAAYYYY!!!! X-CHAN AND ZERO-KUN! X-CHAN AND ZERO-KUN! X-CHAN  
AND ZERO-KUN! X-CHAN AND... (Crowd is pratically all composed of  
females)  
  
Shin: .... (Stonefied)  
  
Nihs: ...Rather surprising. May I ask why you oppose Reploid freedom  
though, Silverplated?  
  
Silverplated: Because that dumbfuck, General, told me that Cain's  
decision of making me the new leader was flawed. NOW I AM GUNNA KILL  
DAT DUMB MODDAFUGGA.  
  
Shin: ...Right. It all makes sense now.  
  
Silverplated: But now, my sons, my children, my creations, I need you  
to track down those damn counterparts before reality is doomed. And I  
KNOW you can do it.  
  
Shin: My ass, man! I already made myself look like a fool for your Ads.  
  
Silverplated: I can get you a free Iris poster, my fine lad. *Rubs  
Shin's nose with his hand*  
  
Shin: ...You mean it?  
  
Silverplated: (Nods) Okie dokie.  
  
Shin: Hmm. How big?  
  
Silverplated: Width is 1 Meter, and Height is 2,50 Meters.  
  
Shin: (drooling)  
  
Silverplated: (whispers) And it has GINECOLOGICAL closes, bastard.  
  
Shin: (Snaps) YESSIR! I HUNT THE COUNTERPARTS SIR! (Runs off of the  
room)  
  
Nihs: (Sighs) How predictable. Well, I'll help because reality can't be  
destroyed, now can it?  
  
Silverplated: So you'll do this because you don't want innocent people  
to suffer?  
  
Nihs: Precisely.  
  
Silverplated: (Laughs insanely) DUMBFUCK! SUCKA!!! IGNORANT! FOO!!! HA  
HA HA HA HA!!! (Begins rolling on the floor)  
  
Nihs: (Shakes head) No wonder he was replaced by Signas. Well, X, Zero,  
shall we... (looks to X and Zero)  
  
Zero (having X laid in the ground, punching his face continuously) I  
TOLD YOU TO STOP SEDUCING IRIS!!!  
  
X (being punched): She jumped on my lap by her own will!!!  
  
Iris: X... you look SO CUTE apologizing... *smiles and blushes*  
  
Zero: (gets red) SEE?! STOP IT NOW, BLUE BOY!!!! (punches X more)  
  
Nihs: ...Nevermind. (walks off)  
  
Sarusdi: Awww Zero-kun... why do you care about such a bitch...?  
  
Zero (looks at Sarusdi with rage boiling eyes): BITCH...? DID... YOU...  
CALL... HER... A... BITCH? (Walking furiously to Sarusdi)  
  
Silverplated Head: I love you guys. HAW!!!!  
  
::Next Episode::  
  
...To see what is supposed to happen in Episode 4, check Episode 3.  
  
...If I don't make an Episode 3.7, that is. Frightening thought.  
  
-- AUTHOR NOTES --  
  
Sorry I took 2 months to update and stuff. But, you know, work is the  
suck and life be busy. I sorta got the inspiration back, but you can  
see it needs some work getting back to that mood.  
  
Shin Nagawa isn't myself, just my favorite character. I even attached  
him to my name because of the favoritism. :P  
  
So, uh, to conclude, thank you all for the opinions, reviews, cooled  
flames and stuff. Thank you all for your support, and please continue  
with us.  
  
-RODRIGO SHIN 


	8. Musical Intermezzo: ROTEUM

-------------------------------------------  
  
..209390309xn.x---------------------210229'«'1'2«sjaljsljss-.ACXlcik  
  
FLABBERGAST'D012P.-'1SLK1L---------------------120'21'921290'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA,,,,,,,,,..........ž™|as1w*1-21+21-*1  
  
MEGAMAN X  
  
ROTEUM  
  
RETURN OF THE (e)XTREME UNSTABILITY MAXIMUM  
  
-------------------------------------------  
  
Shin: HUH?!  
  
(Shin wakes up and stares at his surroundings to find himself in a rather clean metro station. In the wall, someone wrote "RIP OFF" in an elegant fontstyle, just besides "REPENT! THE END IS EXTREMLY FUCKING NIGH!!!" written in a hurry with apparently charcoal. After raising his eyebrows at the morbid writing, Shin noticed he wasn't alone.)  
  
Nihs (appears from behind): Ah, so there you are.  
  
Shin: What the fuck has happened?!  
  
Nihs: Beats me.  
  
Shin: Yeah, I mean, first I wake up after what seemed like a 2 year sleep and all of a sudden we're in a clean as fuck metro station! What's going on?!  
  
Nihs: I dunno, but there seem to be more people in that corner over there.  
  
Shin: Really? (peers over) That's true. Let's go take a look.  
  
(Shin and Nihs walk over to the corner, and they find three arabian people. A bearded man, a woman and a little girl.)  
  
Arab Man: Oh look, we got oulselves mole company. (heavy arabian accent)  
  
Shin: Who are you?  
  
Arab Man: Damn it, I lost. I bet with my wife you wouldn't say that. I see you laven't leald of the Alabian Lap Sensation.  
  
Shin: Uh, sorry. Hey, this voice... you're that guy, that guy from the flash movie, that, that had that...  
  
Nihs: Uh, Shin, he is...  
  
Arab Man: Yes, I'm flom Gloup X if that's whalyou mean, idiot.  
  
Shin (snaps): That's right! Hey, that Mario Twins thing was hillarious!  
  
Arab Man: Yeah, but we only composed the song, dinnadu that video. And now thalidiot's gettinlall the cledits or we'le getting lequests to do flash animations. Idiots.  
  
Shin: Whoa. Sorry to hear that. Anyway, where the fuck are we?  
  
Group X Vocalist (GXV): In the Pulgatoly, idiot. This is my wife, Schlade. And this is my daughter, Johnny Poopoopants.  
  
Shin (perturbed, looks at the woman): I always thought Schlade was a guy!  
  
Schlade: Most idiots do. Idiot.  
  
Shin (whispers to Nihs): They're beginning to piss me off.  
  
Nihs (nods in silence to Shin, turns to GXV): Say, how can we get out of here?  
  
GXV: Oh, thele's a tlain coming in. But you can't go inside it, because they haven't decided if you go to hell or heaven yet.  
  
Shin: So we're like... DEAD?  
  
GXV: Whaddyuthink? We'le in pulgatoly hele. Took you a long time to figule thalout. Idiot.  
  
Shin: Can you say a sentence without adding "Idiot" to it's end?  
  
GXV: I can tly. Idiot.  
  
Shin: (grumbles)  
  
(Engine noises coming from far beyond)  
  
Johnny Poopoopants: Daddy! The tlain's coming!  
  
GXV: Whoa. Did you find thaloulon youlown? Idiot. Olight, let's pack up and leave.  
  
(GXV and his family begin picking their bags up, when Nihs intervents)  
  
Nihs: Hey, wait! Can we carry those for you?  
  
GXV: Why not? But you'le not gelin' paid.  
  
Nihs: Not a problem. (picks some bags up, and turns to Shin) Can you give me a hand, Shin?  
  
Shin: (explodes in anger) What's with you playing the good samaritan all the time? Can't you be a good evil counterpart and just tell everybody to fuck themselves like you're supposed to?!  
  
Nihs (whispers): Shh! If we can get inside the train carrying their bags, maybe we can find out what REALLY is going on!  
  
Shin: ... (long beat) Who said you couldn't be useful either, though? (runs up and helps with carrying the bags)  
  
(Shortly after, GXV and his family plus Shin and Nihs walk towards the entrance of the train station waiting for it come)  
  
GXV: Olight, let's wait in line, idiots. I go filst because I'm the man of the louse. Schlade goes next, then Johnny, then you two idiots.  
  
Shin (fed up): Okay, idiot.  
  
GXV: (turns himself to Shin) Whadiyusay?!  
  
Shin: I said "Idiot", idiot.  
  
GXV: (kicks Shin's leg)  
  
Shin: OW!  
  
GXV: Yeah, you like that?! I golit, you don't. Now shullap. (walks back to the beginning of the line just formed)  
  
(The train finally arrives. It's doors open, and it turns out the ticket taker is none but Death itself.)  
  
Shin: Holy fuck.  
  
Death: Alright, let's move it. Your ticket.  
  
GXV: Hele, idiot.  
  
Death (picks ticket up and shreds it): Good thing you're dead already. Next.  
  
Schlade: Hele.  
  
Death: Next.  
  
Johnny: Mine.  
  
Death: Next.  
  
Shin: (whispers to Nihs) Man, that is DEATH. Are we really going to risk entering the train?!  
  
Nihs: Aren't we dead already?  
  
Death: Hey, you two, move it. I've got only an Eternity to do with, so move along!  
  
Nihs (shrugs and walks forward): Alright, here goes nothing.  
  
Shin (follows Nihs, baffled): This is suicide, if we aren't dead already.  
  
Death: Okay, let me see your tickets.  
  
Nihs: Uh, we're the bag carriers. Yeah. We don't have tickets. We're just going to accompany Mr. Group X's Vocalist through the trip holding their bags, that's all.  
  
Death: Oh yes, that's quite common nowadays. So let me see your underworld bag carrier license.  
  
Nihs: ... Uh, well, hm...  
  
Shin: Nihs, you suck at lying. Let's try the macho way, like we should've done from start. (moves towards Death, trying to look menacingly) We want to pass!  
  
Death: I see. (punches Shin, who is sent flying against the wall)  
  
Nihs: ... (stares wide eyed)  
  
Shin: (falling with debris from the wall) Okay, that didn't work quite the way I expected it to.  
  
Nihs: Tsc! (assumes fight stance, glaring at Death)  
  
Death: If you want in, there's only one way to do so. You'll have to defeat me.  
  
Nihs: If that's the easiest way, so be it!  
  
Death: Seems like you understood. (assumes fight stance, shoves hand inside a pocket)  
  
Nihs: Hah! (Dashes towards Death)  
  
Death: (picks a card from it's pocket) Time to DUEL!  
  
Nihs: (frozen in his halfway to Death) ...Is that a Yugioh card?  
  
Shin: (panting and walking towards Nihs and Death) ...Alright, I did NOT see that.  
  
Death: What the hell is your problem? Have you never watched "Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure"? Since chess' old fashioned nowadays, I moved on with the stream. Unless you defeat me you won't be getting in the train.  
  
Nihs: Alright. I accept your challenge!  
  
Shin: Yeah, whatever. If you guys want to pull a cheap show, go right ahead, because I'm going in!  
  
(Shin tries to walk inside the train, but Death teleports in front of him.)  
  
Death: Not likely. (punches Shin once more)  
  
Shin (hits the same wall he had previously, opening a rather huge hole on it): Yay.  
  
Death: So, let me start. (peers on it's deck) Yeah, this is the one. You're already finished.  
  
Nihs: Hm?!  
  
Death: Fear the wrath of my Majestic Goat! (throws the card in the ground, causing a giant goat to materialize)  
  
Nihs (surprised): Damn! I didn't know Death had one of those! I'll have to think clever to win this duel or else!  
  
Shin (beneath the rubbles of the wall): Quit with the sudden existential crisis and overanalysis every single Yugioh character goes through before playing their cards and simply DO IT, Nihs.  
  
Nihs: Uh, okay. (picks his card up) You played fair and tough, Death, but your Majestic Goat is no match for my... AMAZING SHEPPERD!  
  
Death: !!!  
  
(A shepperd is materialized in the battlefield, obliterating the goat to nothing with his mighty rod.)  
  
DEATH'S HP POINTS: 0  
  
Death: Argh! I can't believe it!  
  
Nihs: Victory! Now you must let us pass, like our agreement said.  
  
Death: Fine. But I don't know why you all dead people are so desperate to go to Heaven, it's such a boring place. Anyway, get in.  
  
Shin (healed out of his entusiasm, magically pops up next to Nihs): Nihs, thanks to your god-modding we've beaten Death! We're, like, immorals!  
  
Nihs (barely believing Shin's stupidness): Immortals.  
  
Death: Uh, sorry, but you two are dead already. So you haven't beaten me in that sense, no no.  
  
Shin (perturbed): So we're REALLY dead?!  
  
Death: If you're here, yeah. Doesn't the word "purgatory" mean ANYTHING to you?  
  
Shin: But... how did we die?!  
  
Death: What the hell, if you don't know will -I- know? There are over 6 billions of people just in ONE of Earth's dimensions alone and I have a damn multiverse to take care of, and Thanos hitting on me every week. I can't tell one from another.  
  
GXV: HEY, IDIOTS! WE GOLLA PLACES TO GO.  
  
Death: (sighs) Hop aboard if you want. Got to deliver those lost souls now.  
  
Nihs: Alright. (walks in)  
  
Shin: Nutbunnies. (follows Nihs)  
  
(Inside the train in it's way to Heaven, Death receives a call in it's cell phone.)  
  
Death: Hello? Really? Alright, got that straight. I'll send them to meet you. Buh bye.  
  
Shin: (singing) Uber pea, uber pea, he wants to eat you and me. Uber bea comes from outer space, he wants to wipe out the human race.  
  
Nihs: (visibly getting annoyed) Don't you know any other song you haven't sung a bazillion times already in this train and that lasts more than 30 seconds?  
  
Shin: No. Memorizing lyrics' never was my speciality.  
  
(Suddenly, a woman's voice comes from the speakers in the roof)  
  
Announcer: Welcome to Heaven, the place with no woes. If you belong in Hell and / or sneaked in, your soul is going to be utterly tortured and then destroyed. Have a nice day!  
  
Shin: ...that isn't very encouraging.  
  
(The train parks, and people begin to leave. As Shin and Nihs are about to, Death blocks their way.)  
  
Death: Where do you think you're going?  
  
Shin: Uh, to HEAVEN?  
  
Death: Correct, but that is the mob's exit. Those who defeat me have a VIP pass.  
  
Shin: Whoa, really?!  
  
Death: Of course. Just look there. (points to the other side, with a sign saying "VIP Pass - to Jihadians striving to meet their own Harem of virgins and things alike." above a door)  
  
Shin: Virgin harem? I'm down with that! (runs to the door)  
  
Nihs: Something's fishy. (Glares at Death)  
  
Death: Hey, I'm just doing my job. If you excuse me, I have another batch to carry, so move it already.  
  
Shin: Yeah, Nihs. Be a good boy for ONCE!  
  
Nihs: (sighs) Well, whatever. (walks to the VIP door)  
  
(Shin and Nihs open the door, being almost blinded by a strong white light coming from inside.)  
  
Shin: What the hell...?!  
  
Nihs: Hm...!  
  
(All the whiteness disappear, and Shin and Nihs find themselves in a room surrounded with TV monitors and a chair turned in front of them.)  
  
??? (voice coming behind the chair): Hello Shin. Hello Nihs. I've been expecting you.  
  
Nihs: Who are you?  
  
Shin: Where are the virgins?!  
  
??? (turns the chair around, to reveal himself to be a man in his 30's wearing a tuxedo): I am... well, the One.  
  
Shin: Neo!  
  
Nihs: (smacks forehead) ...Shin, that man is God!  
  
Shin: WHAT?! God is THIS?  
  
God: Well, sorry to let you down. What kind of visual appearance would please you best?  
  
Shin: Wait a second, you're REALLY God?!  
  
God (nods): You are correct.  
  
Shin: Prove it to me then.  
  
God: Are you sure you want me to?  
  
Shin: Yeah.  
  
God: Okay. You masturbate...  
  
Shin: ALRIGHTIBELIEVEYOU! NOTHINGFURTHER!  
  
Nihs: ... (sweatdrops)  
  
God: Alright. Anyway...  
  
Shin: Wait a second. If you are God, I have quite a few complaints to make about LIFE, you know? And your "consummer support", as well.  
  
Nihs: ...Shin, the Man is trying to talk.  
  
God: Let me guess, another person unpleased by not getting all you ask for, right?  
  
Shin: Yeah!  
  
God: Have you ever watched "Bruce Almighty"?  
  
Shin: No.  
  
God: Okay. Do so. As I was saying...  
  
Shin: "Watch Bruce Almighty" my ass! I want answers, boy, answers! And no fortune cookie crap!  
  
God (sighs): Just comply.  
  
Shin: (eye twitches) Yes.  
  
Nihs (slowly moves his eyes from Shin to God): ...Uh, You were saying?  
  
God: Oh yes. I've been waiting for you, Shin and Nihs.  
  
Nihs: Why?  
  
God: Because I would like to see the ones who triggered the incident that killed over 300 thousand people in the subworld you both know as "Mega Man X Realm". I myself call it "Randson Sparket's Bucket of Lovejoy".  
  
Nihs: 300 thousand deads?!  
  
Shin: "Randson Sparket's Bucket of Lovejoy"?! Man, that sounds SO gay.  
  
God: Yes, 300 thousand deads. You two are included, I would say.  
  
Nihs: ...just what the hell has happened?  
  
Shin: Yeah, what he said. What the hell IS going on?!  
  
God: So, you really don't remember after all?  
  
Nihs: No. The last memory in my head is that we were going to hunt down the Yaoi and Yuri doppelgangers otherwise reality would shatter itself down. Is that what happened and the reason so many people died?!  
  
God (tilts head): Not exactly.  
  
Shin: Then just what the hell happened?! Can't you go straight to the point?!  
  
God: You both have went under severe memory trauma. Perhaps it were the gang attack performed by the crew of dead Yaoi fangirls that did so much damage to your brain cortex.  
  
Shin: ...Gang attack performed by dead Yaoi fangirls?  
  
Nihs: ...I think I'm starting to remember something.  
  
God: Yes. As you see, those 300 thousands who died were the actual fans of the "Mega Man X" game series, that were brought to the game dimension by the dimensional void your presence as a dimensional abnormality caused in that reality plane, Shin. The fact you shattered your persona in two didn't help either, and just intensified the number of abnormalities the plane would suffer.  
  
Shin: All the fans... are dead?  
  
God: (nods) And so are you. I don't know if you died at the same time they did, but you shared the same physical space in the Purgatory. You both were overwhelmed by their simultaneous strike of many Yaoi ideas at once. I do not know if it was during when one of them mentioned X wearing a bride's dress to marry Proto Man or perhaps when they showed the drafts of all of the characters as shemales, but that is what caused your memory trauma.  
  
Nihs: ...  
  
Shin (rather calm of him for such a situation): That a plastic bag?  
  
God: Why, yes it is.  
  
Shin: Good. (picks it up and pretends to puke)  
  
God: Which brings us to the moment of undeniable truth you both have been denying ever since your entrance in Randson Sparket's Bucket of Lovejoy, or "Mega Man X Realm" as you prefer. That you, my friends, are nothing but plain, old, "Gary Stus".  
  
Shin & Nihs: Bullshit!  
  
God: Watch the language, captains Sassy.  
  
Nihs: (gasps) Sorry. I snapped for a moment here.  
  
God: Visibly. Don't you think those terms are ridiculous, anyway? "Gary Stu". I mean, please. But, as I were saying...  
  
Shin: Wait a second. I said, "All the fans... are dead?"  
  
God: Yes, I have consented to that already. What is the relevance in that matter?  
  
Shin: WHO OR WHAT KILLED THEM FOR FUCK'S SAKES?!  
  
God: A mistake loops itself.  
  
Shin: (eyes open wide) I'm sorry, your Holiness! (immediately kneels down)  
  
God: Your Holiness is The Pope. I am God!  
  
Shin: Yeah, you got a point here. (stands up) But can you just flat out answer us WHAT has happened and killed that much of people?!  
  
God: Since you both seem not to be fooling around, I can. (picks a pen out of nowhere; upon clicking on it, the TV monitors display the Mega Man X realm) Behold.  
  
Shin (stares at the monitors): Hey, that's home! Well, sort of.  
  
Nihs (staring as well): The Mega Man X Realm...  
  
(The TVs show X and the gang fighting a huge black armored robot with a white cape, that is handing everybody a can of whoop-ass.)  
  
Zero: (slashes at the black robot)  
  
???: (repels the Slash back to Zero, who falls aside)  
  
X: Take this! (activates Ultimate Armor, Nova Strikes the unknown robot)  
  
???: (stops the attack with one finger, and with a whisper blows the Ultimate Armor up)  
  
Marty: It's your turn to go down! (attacks the robot's head with the trident)  
  
???: (stops the trident by biting it, then shoves Marty aside by turning his head left and right until Marty's trident was broken in half; spits the half of the trident inside his mouth)  
  
Sarusdi: Ka Me Ha Me Ha!  
  
???: (swallows the attack, burps)  
  
Sarusdi: Damn it...!  
  
???: (raises his eyebrows at Sarusdi, who flies ten feet away from her current location like she was punched strongly by somebody)  
  
(God's TV Lounge)  
  
God: That has been going on for eight hours already.  
  
Shin: ... what the hell is that guy?  
  
God: He is you.  
  
Nihs: What?!  
  
God: He is your negative. He was created when you both emerged in the "Mega Man X Realm". He is the strongest being that has ever existed in the entire Universe. He is a "Gary Stu" able to use his powers freely in any given dimension without any boundaries whatsoever. He can whistle while munching a lemon. He is... Perfect Wily.  
  
(The black robot turns his face the TV monitor, and it turns out he indeed is Wily in a robot body.)  
  
Shin: ...  
  
Nihs: Wait a second. You mean that the simple fact Shin emerged in the MMX Realm could cause such huge implications?  
  
God: Yes. It is the fault of the unknown persons that have imprisoned Shin to the Realm. The abnormalities cease if the original anomaly is removed, but if it remains within the reality plane for years doing nothing at all, then we get a catastrophe. Very much like this one. If they had written the story to it's end in time, this all could have been averted. Now, none of them have control over what is going on.  
  
Shin (trying to assimilate the metaphysical trivia): ...speaking of that... who ARE they?! How could they imprison me in the X Realm?  
  
God: They are demons at the service of Abaddon, Lord of the Abyss, who holds Lucifer's soul. They want to undo existence. So they used you, and the Mega Man X Realm, in order to create what we pejoratively call an "Über Gary Stu", who could easily destroy the Universe or free his masters from their hellish prisons.  
  
Shin: ...  
  
Nihs: ...  
  
(Cryptic silence ensues, as Shin and Nihs try to assimilate who their true foe is. Until the silence is broken by God, who says...)  
  
God: HA HA! Gotcha.  
  
Shin: ...you mean you weren't serious about the Lucifer bit?  
  
God: No. (keeps laughing) Those unknown guys are unknown even to me. I don't even know how the heck they got that power. (laughs a little more) It is just so funny that everybody takes what I say to heart.  
  
Shin: Well, I have NEWS for you! YOU'RE GOD, DID YOU KNOW THAT?!  
  
God: Yes. Lower tone, please.  
  
Shin (keeps talking, but his voice fades away): ...?!  
  
Nihs: Hm, well, erm, you see, God, I appreciate you trying to pull a comic relief, but I believe the situation is rather serious. Why do you need us here? Can't you take care of this matter by yourself?  
  
God: Nah. That is why I brought you, Shin and Nihs, here.  
  
Nihs: You want us to take care of this matter...?  
  
Shin: (raises hand)  
  
God: Yes, speak, Shin.  
  
Shin (voice fades in): ...llejuhah! I can hear myself again! How come GOD Himself can't handle this situation?!  
  
God: Do you want fortune cookie garbage like "It would violate freewill", or will you play along and be a nice boy?  
  
Shin: Do I have a choice?  
  
God: Yes.  
  
Shin: (mumbles) Second one.  
  
God: Excellent. So, for the eleventh time, as I were saying...  
  
Shin: You want us to take care of this matter, I bet. You'll give us a second chance to live if we save your creation and the like. Well, let's negotiate here, buddy. I left nothing behind me, and see no reason to go back there.  
  
God: Well, I disagree with you there. You actually left your son.  
  
Shin: (gasps surpised) My...  
  
Nihs: ...son?!  
  
God: Yes. I see that was obliterated alongside all the memories post-Conterpartum.  
  
Nihs: ...is "conterpartum" even a word?  
  
God: It is now. (laughs)  
  
Nihs: ...true.  
  
Shin: What is this you're talking about?! I have a kid?! I GOT TO DO THE NASTY?  
  
Nihs: ...Shin, how many times will you forget you're in front of God?!  
  
Shin: ...yeah, sorry.  
  
God: (chuckles lightly) It's okay, it's okay. You indeed had a child, and here it is.  
  
(God clicks his pen again, and Shin pales against what is projected in the screens.)  
  
Shin: There is no number of elipses to how I'm feeling right now.  
  
(A baby with Shin's helmet, cat's ears and tail wearing a diaper and with his big finger inside his mouth's shown.)  
  
God: Congratulations, Shin. You are a father.  
  
Shin: ...THAT CAN'T BE. A FLAMIN' _CATBOY_?!  
  
God: Yes.  
  
Shin: He isn't my son.  
  
God: Yes he is. He's even named "Roy Allen", want better evidence than that?  
  
Shin: ...But... then... he... I... oh my fucking God. (faints)  
  
Nihs: Shin?! Shin! (runs to Shin's unconscious body)  
  
God: Well, that was unexpected.  
  
Nihs (trying to lift the upper half of Shin's body): God, I don't know whatever you have planned for us, but I have a request. Can you at least tell us just WHAT has happened ever since we lost our memory?  
  
God (sighs): Boy, that's gonna be one wild ride. 


End file.

Mega Man, Humor