Chalet School Chalet Girls in Blackpool

**Chalet Girls in Blackpool**

Hilda Annersley groaned and tried to force her eyes open as a persistent knocking at the hotel room door penetrated the fog in her brain. It felt like an army or dwarves was hammering away at her temples with pick axes, wearing hob-nail boots.

The knocking continued insistently, accompanied by clarion tones calling "Miss Annersley, are you awake, it's ever so late"

"Mary-Lou" groaned Hilda, "piss off there's a good girl" and turned over with the idea of going back to sleep.

As she turned her arm hit something in the bed. She froze and her hand moved slowly over whatever it was. One eye opened a crack but only seemed to see a blur of vivid green and blue.

"Mornin' darlin' came a chirpy voice.

Hilda sat bolt upright in shock and her eyes flew wide. Lying beside her in the bed was a (very) young bronzed male with a large eagle tattooed on his chest and a set of extremely well developed pectoral muscles.

"By heck you old birds sure can go all night" he said and, rising from the bed, plucked a lime green posing pouch from the floor which he donned before opening the door to reveal OOAO with eyes like saucers.

Meanwhile down the hall….

The Maynard triplets were also in the throes of waking up. Con was the first to leave the double bed – technically she and Margot were sharing that and Len had the single in the corner but judging by the number of hands, feet and other body parts sticking out, things had _not_ gone according to plan!

Con stumbled into the en suite bathroom and, taking a large slug of vodka from the bottle on the side of the bath, gargled the first few lines of Britannia and spat delicately into the sink. Ablutions complete she turned to the task of rousing her sisters.

She grabbed the end of the duvet and pulled it sharply onto the floor revealing not two triplets but five lying tangled together in sloth.

"My my" she said, eyeing the 3 young men up and down "you three definitely _aren't_ identical are you"

Wayne, Dwayne and Shane (known to their friends as Nudger, Nosher and Nogger) groaned collectively.

Just then came a slightly desperate sounding knock on the door "Len, Len, are you there, you should see what I just…" The voice stopped as Con opened the door, leaving OOAO once again with eyes like saucers.

As one, the triplets chorused, "Oh do piss off Mary-Lou" and Con shut the door in her face.

Margot leaned across Wayne and Dwayne to reach her cigarettes and lit up, blowing a perfect smoke ring towards the light fitting, from which dangled a lacy black bra and a lurid pink fishnet stocking.

"You boys better run along now" she said, "we have to go sightseeing and stuff today, but we'll see you later at that club again, ok."

As Len sat up there was a distinct crackling noise from the sheets under her

"Oh. My. God." she said "why is it always ME who ends up sleeping in the damp patch?"

Con looked closely and took a deep breath "It's ok Len, it's only the garlic sauce from that kebab you reckoned you couldn't live without – the rest of it is here somewhere"

Len got up and headed for the shower "see you later boys" she said over her shoulder.

Con threw the three pairs of jeans, three once white muscle vests and three leather jackets to each of the boys in turn, and, taking the hint, they dressed and left, blowing kisses to Mary-Lou, apparently still frozen in shock outside the door, as they went.

"Well" said Margot brightly, "they were fun."

Over breakfast in the hotel dining room, the various members of the party either tucked in heartily to full English breakfast or groaned quietly and nibbled dry toast, depending mainly on their ability to hold their drink. Miss Annersley was noticeable by her absence.

The triplets were in the first category and looked round with interest to see who looked the worst for wear.

"Well I think this 'traditional British seaside' thing is a great idea for half term," said Len "We're having a fabulous time so far." Her sisters agreed.

They were joined at their table by Mary-Lou, whose eyes had now returned to their usual shape.

The triplets exchanged a meaningful glance before applying themselves with great concentration to their bacon, eggs, sausage, beans, tomatoes, fried bread and black pudding. Mary-Lou daintily buttered a triangle of toast, carefully cut the crusts off, and nibbled it thoughtfully.

"I say you three" she began, almost diffidently, and in decidedly subdued tones, "do you think…erm…that is…can I…er…I mean may I…"

"Spill it Mary-Lou," snapped Margot who had no patience with dithering.

Mary-Lou took a deep breath, went slightly red, and said all in a rush "May I come out with you three tonight please?"

A stunned silence fell over the table.

Len was the first to recover "Why?"

"Well, I just thought you all seemed to have so much _fun_ last night, and well, I'm older than you and I never seem to have any fun or do anything _interesting_, and I thought you three could, well, show me how" and Mary-Lou dropped her eyes to her plate and mangled the toast crusts lying on it.

The triplets looked at each other and wicked grins spread across three faces, unseen by Mary-Lou who was still looking down.

"Of course we'll help you out," cooed Con, "you just leave everything to us, we'll go shopping in a bit and get you something nice to wear"

"And tonight" chipped in Margot, "Blackpool won't know _what's_ hit it"

Mary-Lou looked up and said "Oh thank you, thank you all" with shining eyes.

At noon, after a morning spent touring the Tower and Promenade and generally seeing the sights, the girls were free to go on their shopping trip. Grabbing Mary-Lou the triplets headed for the shops in the most determined fashion.

"First stop, decent underwear" announced Len as they entered the first shop. She rummaged rapidly along the rails, pausing to eye Mary-Lou's chest in a meaningful way. "Here, try this, this and this one" and she thrust red, black and pink satin 'things' at OOAO.

Mary-Lou headed obediently for the changing rooms. After a while a little voice called out "does it go over or under my vest?" The triplets sighed.

"Take your vest OFF Mary-Lou," they chorused.

"They don't fit, I look peculiar" came next. Len barged into the changing room and emerged shaking her head.

"She's right, they don't fit – hang on a mo" and she headed back to the rails.

"Right, this is the one!" It was black, satin, and held together with a diamante heart at the front. "Mary-Lou, this is a Wonderbra. This will make you look decidedly un-peculiar, trust me"

Wonderbra duly purchased the triplets had a brief discussion about briefs and decided not to bother. They weren't planning on wearing any and, quite frankly, didn't see the point.

The next couple of hours were spent in dashing from shop to shop, until finally a hot, tired, and bewildered Mary-Lou was deposited back in her room with the injunction to "be dressed by 6.30 and come along to our room for your hair and make-up before we go out." She made herself a nice cup of tea and sipped it while she eyed the various carrier bags apprehensively. She was starting to wonder if this really was such a good idea. Those 'hold-up' thingies – stockings were generally all very well, but with no undies and nothing to attach them to, how exactly did they stay up? And fishnet ones too, what was wrong with nice warm beige ones? OOAO had a feeling she might just end up with hypothermia tonight, that top was so low at the front and ended half way down her body, and those short thingies, 'hot pants' they trips had said, were a bit on the, well, short side. And lurex!! They'll show every mark she muttered to herself. She wondered if the trips would let her take her nice thick cardi with her. Looking at her watch she said "in for a penny and all that" and decided to have a little nap until it was time to dress.

At 6.30 Mary-Lou was tapping on the triplets' door, dressed in her new finery and carrying her shoes – they were platform knee-high boots and she felt decidedly unsafe walking in them.

Con let her in and sat her down in front of the dressing table where a vast array of make up and hair styling products was laid out ready.

Margot, taking two bottles from a bag on the floor, expertly twisted them together to ping the tops off and having repeated the gesture handed one to each of her sisters and Mary-Lou.

"Try this, it's a fruit drink just like Mammas," she said. Mary-Lou took a sip. It was rather nice, tart and refreshing, so she had a longer swig. "Mmm, it's such a pretty shade of blue, and rather nice. Thank you."

The triplets downed their drinks quickly and opened more. "Hurry up or you won't have time to finish all 6 of yours Mary-Lou," said Con. Mary-Lou swigged faster and wondered idly just what WKD stood for as she took in the triplets outfits. They were all dressed in hot pants similar to the ones she was wearing, Con in red and Len and Margot in blue, with tiny skimpy halter tops, fishnet stockings and spiky high high heels. Mary-Lou decided that her new platform boots were the lesser of two evils as those shoes looked decidedly wobbly. As she finished her second bottle she noticed that everything was looking decidedly wobbly but found she didn't really care much, she was starting to enjoy herself.

In between guzzling the blue nectar, the triplets did their hair and make-up expertly and transformed Mary-Lou into what could only be described as a 'rhapsody in slut.'

When she looked in the mirror she could barely recognise herself, and somehow, this made her feel better – if she didn't know herself, neither would anyone else. She might just be able to do this after all. She grinned at her reflection, and turning to the triplets asked if they would call her 'Lulu' for the night. "Mary-Lou is such a mouthful!" The trips laughed and decided that they might as well be Elle, Coral, and Marina too.

Mary-Lou, or Lulu as she now was, gulped down the last of her blue drink and, taking an arm each of Len/Elle and Margot/Marina to help her walk in the boots, left the room heading for the seafront and the first bar.

By around 9.30 that night the girls were in the fourth bar and having a whale of a time. As they stood in the crush of people waiting to get served Len suddenly nudged Con violently "Look!! Over there! Do you see who I see?"

Turning to look they all saw Miss Annersley, wearing what could only be a black lycra dress and high heels, her hair piled up on her head, and more make-up than all four of them put together. Lulu gasped – "that man, the erm, big one, he's the one who was in her bed this morning!"

"Niiiiiiiiceeeeeeeeeeee" drawled Margot, "Very nice indeed."

Just then the DJ announced, "Ladies, have we got a show for you now, please welcome, the one, the only, COBRA"

As Miss Annerselys companion leapt to the podium and shucked off his jacket to reveal collar, cuffs and teeny black shorts the crowd went wild, screaming and clapping ecstatically.

The four girls stood spellbound, the triplets in admiration and Lulu in shock, as 'Cobra' began his routine, bumping and grinding expertly in time to the thumping bass of the music. Ten minutes later he was naked except for a strategically placed face cloth and ran from the podium behind the bar where the bar staff fended off his adoring fans while he dressed. As he emerged in his ordinary clothes he grasped Hilda to him and tucking her firmly under his arm they headed for the doors, right past the girls.

"Good evening Miss Annersley," they chorused politely. "Good evening girls, have you met Kevin?" she replied. "We're off to dinner now." Kevin laughed, and added "And then to bed," with a wicked grin.

Hilda eyed the girls up and down and said, "Having heard about your 'other triplets' and assorted antics I have only one thing to say to you girls – I won't tell your mother if you don't" and with a wink she was gone, taking the gorgeous Kevin/Cobra with her.

As one the girls took a hefty slug of their drinks.

At around Midnight the girls moved on to the nightclub where the triplets had said they would meet Wayne, Dwayne and Shane. As they entered Lulu was saying "I really really LOVE you three, you're my bestest friends in the whole world" and planting wet kisses on their cheeks. They headed for the dance floor and began to teach OOAO the difference between country and disco dancing. Half an hour later Lulu was seen pushing the podium dancer aside and taking her place at the pole with enthusiasm. Long legs, strengthened by years of swimming, tennis and rambling up mountains stood her in good stead as she hung upside down, stretched out, did the splits, and generally had the time of her life.

"Cor" came a voice from behind the trips, "where've you been hiding her?" Wayne, Dwayne and Shane had arrived, with several friends. The trips explained how it was Lulus first ever night on the town and then managed to tempt Lulu off the pole – much to the relief of the disgruntled professional dancer – by waving yet another bottle of blue WKD at her.

"I am having so much FUN" she exclaimed, "I should have done this years ago!" and, draining her bottle in one, she dragged two of the 'other triplets' friends out onto the floor to dance some more. Soon the trips had lost sight of her in the crush.

At 4 a.m. it was finally time to leave. "Where's Lulu?" They all looked round and finally spotted her in the corner shadows. "What were you doing over there?" asked Margot. "Oh, erm, I wasn't talking to anyone, I was just er, well, I had to go to the place where you lot don't ever need to go with still being totally at school. You know, the place next to the splasheries where Chalet girls don't go? And I most definitely was NOT talking to a man" Lulu looked a tad furtive for a minute, but since Margot was by now totally confused she let it go.

"Well, it's time to go now, the club's closing."

Lulu was reluctant, "I wish this didn't have to end," she said, "I don't want Mary-Lou back, I want to stay Lulu."

"Tell you what" said Con, "We'll go back to the hotel for a shower and get changed, have a nap," leering suggestively at Wayne, "and after fruhstuck we'll head for the Pleasure Beach for the day. Then tonight we can come out again, OK?"

"Yes please," said Lulu, and once again a slightly furtive look crossed her face. She turned, as if for one last look round the club, and nobody saw her mouth the words 'Pleasure Beach at eleven' at a figure in the shadows as they all left the club.

"Vier und zwanzig virgins came down from Inverness, and when the night was over there were vier und zwanzig less, singing…" "Ssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh" The two sets of triplets delivered Lulu to the door of her room and, wishing her goodnight, headed for the girls room making more noise in their efforts at quiet than they would normally have made anyway. As they climbed the last flight of stairs up, they met Kevin coming down, a satisfied smirk on his face.

"Hiya lads, fancy meeting you here" he said, and with a close look at the ciggy in Cons hand, added, "What's a nice joint like you doing in a girl like this?" and laughed. "I saw your kid earlier lads" the other triplets looked at each other in sudden consternation, "Where? When? We didn't know he was back" "He was out on the town, he's a bit hard to miss in his gear, said he'd popped home to see your old mum or something. I didn't know he'd been elected head of the ch…" Wayne cut him off mid word, "oh yeah we had heard, but we don't see him often and he thinks we're just kids still." "Night then" said Dwayne and the lads hustled the trips towards their door leaving Kevin staring after them looking somewhat bemused by their sudden departure. "Wonder why they don't want to talk about their kid," he mused to himself, "not that I'd fancy talking about him much either, snot safe!"

At breakfast the four girls met up again, and after eating their fill they made sandwiches from toast, bacon and sausages, which they took with them for the other triplets who were lurking not very inconspicuously outside. Mary-Lou was lugging a large backpack which seemed to be stuffed full.

"What on Earth have you got in there?" "Oh, just a jumper and my raincoat and my other shoes and stuff, in case it rains, it's force of habit. I could hear Matey reminding me to be prepared for an excursion," she said and blushed slightly.

"Oh! Well, you're carrying it round all day. Shall we get the tram to the Pleasure Beach?" asked Con.

"I just want to nip into this shop for a postcard for Verity-Anne," said Lulu.

"It won't get home before you do."

Lulu looked a tad furtive again, "Well it might, and it's still nice to send, someone might want the stamp for their collection too."

Postcard duly bought, Lulu scribbled busily, seeming to fit an awful lot of tiny writing on the back, before popping it into the nearby post box.

"You wrote a lot."

"Oh not really, just weather here wish you were nice, that sort of thing, come on let's run and get this tram."

The tram trundled them along the Prom, past the piers and the Tower, before depositing them at the entrance to the Pleasure Beach.

"Right, we're just going home to get changed and tell Mum we're all ok, then we'll come and find you here somewhere" said the other trips.

"We'll be on that," said Margot pointing and grinning. The 'Big One' one of the tallest roller coasters in Europe, loomed over the skyline above them.

"No way!"

"Yes Way! We are so going on that."

"Erm, can we go on the little ones and work our way up? Please?"

Still arguing, they headed for the ticket booth and books of 'white knuckle' tickets which would let even Margot have her fill of all the most thrilling rides in the park.

By the time they had queued and been on the Revolution, the octopus, the log flume and Valhalla, they were all soaking wet, and slightly queasy.

"Right, Now we can go queue for the Big One," said Margot, "We can't do the Pleasure Beach without having a go on it."

The others reluctantly agreed and they headed for the queue. Lulu sneaked a look at her watch and realised it was almost 11 o'clock.

"I don't think I can go on that without being sick. I'll wait over there and have a coffee while you three go. I can watch out for the other triplets for you."

When the trips emerged from the Big One, Margot grinning and Len and Con staggering, Lulu was sitting at the café table with Wayne, Dwayne, and Shane.

"We could hear your screams from here," said Wayne. "That's how we found you."

"Come on with me," said Margot, "I want another go and these two won't do it."

Wayne looked dubious but allowed Margot to pull him across to the back of the queue. Len noticed Lulu looking at her watch and scanning the crowd almost anxiously.

"Are you, er, looking for someone in particular?" she enquired.

"He said he'd be here ages ago," said Lulu, almost to herself. Len was intrigued.

"Who said he'd be here ages…" she broke off as Lulu screamed "MELVYN" and launched herself into the arms of what seemed to Len to be a moving mountain.

The man was at least 6 feet 6 inches and had to weigh 25 stones Len thought as she looked up and up at his face, much of which was obscured by long hair.

"Melvyn?" she inquired faintly. "Melvyn!!" chorused Dwayne and Shane, "That's not Melvyn, that's our brother K…" "Krusher," said Man-Mountain, "My mates call me Krusher," and the handshake that engulfed Len and then Con's hands showed why.

"Pleased to meet you," they said faintly.

"Right, you're here now, let's go." Said OOAO, every inch Lulu again.

"Go where?" demanded Len.

Lulu went a bit pink as Mary-Lou tried to surface for a second. She looked down at her feet and mumbled, "Well, we're going to, that is we're…erm…going to," she trailed off as Con squealed, "Lulu, you're eloping!!!"

"Good Heavens NO!!" said Lulu, "What do you think I am? I'm a Chalet girl and Melvyn is most definitely NOT a doctor. How could I marry him? We're going back to the hotel to shag like very naughty rabbits, preferably until the mattress catches fire." Then she added almost as an aside to Len, "Then Lulu can go back where she came from and Mary-Lou will get on the coach home tomorrow with some fun memories."

Len and Con were stunned.

Lulu took a grip of the gold ring in Melvyn/Krushers left nipple and began to lead him towards the gate of the Pleasure Beach. "We have to dash, we're running late, see you later," she said in farewell.

"Well, it is better to copulate than never," said Con.

**The End**


End file.

Chalet School, Humor, Romance