Mega Man 1. Prelude

**A/N:** Hey guys! Yes, this is the rewritten version of Fragile Heart. Actually, that's supremely inaccurate since this has a whole different story from Fragile Heart, if you're judging by the first two chapters of FH (not that there's much of a story in FH to begin with). Regardless, they both have the same plot I had in mind despite having different takes/tone. Except for a few changes here and there. Not that you would know.

Remember when I said that this is the unhealthy version of Neko-Salosa's Work and Play (which, by the way, is a very good fic that you should be reading right now – if you haven't read it yet)? I basically took inspiration from that fic since Turn Around is also based on Netto and Enzan's adult life (they're both 24-25 here). So yeah, going back. I call this the unhealthy version simply because they are so happy and 'bickering like an old married couple' in Work and Play; while here, they're… trying to make a once-failed relationship work. Basically. It's not as bad as it sounds though, since there's so much fluff here.

This is a writing experiment. The writing style is different, and I would appreciate concrit.

(In other words, reviews are nice, and the author would like to receive them from you. If you bother to.)

Alright, I've kept you waiting long enough. Enjoy!

**Word Count: **1071

* * *

**(Prelude)**

* * *

_It is a romance of selfishness and sacrifice, of pretension and honesty, of misery and false hope._

_It is the story of two misunderstood boys who let themselves be free for one time, but maybe their granite hearts were deemed too soft by the harsh reality. It is a story of two misunderstood boys who grew up too fast and fell too deep._

_It is a story of love (or lack thereof)._

* * *

"Ah! Rockman!" Netto yells as he snaps his magnetic skates on his shoes. "Why didn't you wake me up sooner?"

"I did, Netto-kun. You wouldn't wake up," Rockman replies. He sighs a bit exasperatedly. "Honestly. You're an adult now! You should be waking up on your own."

"But what good are _you_ in the morning if you don't wake me up?" he asks, his voice hinting his annoyance, but he doesn't mean to offend. Rockman just rolls his eyes in good humor – not that Netto could see that. The PET is in the holster.

Netto hurriedly makes his way out of the apartment, skating through the streets easily since there aren't many people outside yet. It is still early in the morning, and Netto hardly sees anyone he had to avoid bumping into.

"And I'm 23. That hardly constitutes as being an adult."

"Yes it does, Netto-kun."

The morning air is colder than usual because of the coming winter, but Netto doesn't mind. It helps keep him awake for the rest of the way. The sun had risen, but it isn't high enough to warm his skin because there is still a splash of darkness hanging above his head – slowly disappearing by the consuming orange. There are still remnants of stars in the sky, but they vanish one by one near the horizon.

Netto shivers in the cold air.

"Alright Rockman, why do I have to wake up so early again?" he asks, fishing the PET out so he can see his navi. "And can I _please _stop by at the café near SciLabs? I'm hungry as hell. You know I can't work without breakfast in my system." To add to his point, his stomach growls loudly.

Rockman chuckles.

"You have to run a few post-tests to make sure you've debugged the program correctly," Rockman explains. He opens a few windows and enlarges the one that contained the email his Operator neglected to read. "See? They want to see the program running before the meeting starts, which is at 8 by the way. And yes, you can run by the café. But only take outs, Netto-kun. You know what happens if you stay there too long."

"What? Did they push the meeting an hour early?" Netto frowns, rubbing his eyes to rid them of sleep.

Well, yeah, he isn't _really_ worried about the program. He could say with confidence that it was working perfectly last night. And even if it's still buggy (which is ridiculous because he _checked_), he is sure it's presentable enough for the meeting later. He could always debug it afterwards; the deadline isn't until in four days anyway.

The directors just want to see the progress so far, and they expect the program to be near completion – if it wasn't already. He still had time before they could sign the contract.

Damn contractors. They don't seem to understand that the frontend of the program isn't nearly as important as the backend.

"I'm afraid so. And anyway, I told you that yesterday!"

"You did?"

"Yes, Netto-kun. You weren't listening, were you?"

Netto laughs. "Oh come on, Rockman! I still wake up late, and I skate to SciLabs even though I can take the bus. _And_ I still procrastinate through deadlines. What did you expect?"

* * *

When Netto emerges from the café, the sky was already a mixture of pale blue, pink and a hint of orange; with rays of sunlight peeking out from the clouds. There are hardly any stars outside anymore. The air is still cold, and dewdrops fall one by one from the grass blades in the nearby park. Netto stretches his arms and breathes in the fresh air.

"The sunrise sure is fast," he comments. "It was hardly even morning when we left the house."

"Which means you're really running late, Netto-kun," Rockman says in a bossy tone. "Please hurry up. Diether-san is waiting for you."

"Alright, alright." Netto laughs. He knows he shouldn't argue when Rockman is using his 'business' voice. He'd never admitted it to his navi, but he's glad that Rockman's responsible side makes up for his childishness. He doesn't really know how he'd survive in the adult world without Rockman.

He snaps on his skates and wears his lab coat before heading out. He doesn't feel awkward skating around the streets like that. It actually makes him feel more professional than he ever did, bright red rollerskates aside.

Besides, he'd get a hearing if he walks inside the lab without it. He's still a bit forgetful, after all.

"Rockman, how late are we anyway?"

"Fifteen minutes, Netto-kun. Thirty if you keep skating at that pace."

"Fine, I'll skate faster then."

He stops abruptly.

Rockman tilts his head. "Netto-kun? What is it?" he asks in a concerned tone.

Netto doesn't reply. He stiffens on the spot, staring blatantly at the person in front of him (who doesn't seem to notice he is being stared at). His hands start to feel cold and sweaty, and his heart beats fast (faster) for the first time in years. His chest tightens. His mouth couldn't find words to speak.

Memories flood through him like a hurricane, but his mind is blank for the most part. Feelings he buried in the deepest recesses of his heart prick his soul slowly, reawakening promises he killed so long ago. He scarcely remembers hearing Rockman's worried calls against the beat beat beating in his chest. He breathes in deeply. _Really_, why is getting so worked up about this? It's like high school all over again.

He swallows thickly and composes himself.

He couldn't believe this man still had that effect on him. Even after all these years.

He smiles.

"Enzan!" he calls, waving his hand to get the young man's attention. Said man turns his head with startled eyes.

There's no mistaking it. Blue eyes and dual-toned hair pasted on pale skin. That lithe frame.

Those thin lips he used to-

The man's eyes softened.

Netto curses quietly in his heart.

That-

Pretty.

Little.

Thing.

"Netto," the man whispers, his voice barely an echo against the slow hum of the city noise.

And Netto's heart jumps, skipping a beat in his chest, as cliché as it sounds.

Really. It was high school all over again.

* * *

**A/N: **That was short, but that's only because that's just the prologue. Actually, judging from ff's word count, each succeeding chapter is longer than the last. So expect a longer chapter next time. (~3000+ words)

Update schedule depends on how much of the next chapter gets done. 'Til then, enjoy the excerpts and prologue.

So, is anyone still reading this? Anyone?


	2. Teacakes

**Word Count: **3036

**Note:** Starting from this chapter, scenes in italics will be considered flashbacks. This chapter is written from Enzan's perspective.

* * *

**Teacakes**

* * *

The gist of the story is, Enzan and Netto had a complicated relationship.

They were friends, rivals, and perhaps once-lovers.

They were inseparable.

Invincible.

Perfect.

But not infinite.

Even to this day, Enzan berates himself for having made stupid mistakes.

They cost him a friend, a rival, a once-lover.

An important person.

(And now all he feels is regret.)

* * *

Enzan didn't expect to see him again that morning.

Not that he doesn't think he would. That would have just been impossible.

Especially since he is the president of IPC, and _he _is now a computer scientist for SciLabs.

Sooner or later, it would happen.

He just didn't expect it so soon.

In retrospect, it has been too long since he last saw those muddy brown eyes. Blues repeatedly says he just misses him. Enzan doesn't really deny it, but he wouldn't let Blues be right about this (_again_), so he just shuts him up and gives him more work each time he is reminded of his little predicament. Blues doesn't complain about the load though, much to Enzan's chagrin. Blues just nods and accepts the paperwork. He (begrudgingly) will go through them anyway.

That doesn't stop his words from tapping Enzan's heart though.

Enzan knows he's just prolonging the inevitable. But he couldn't help it. Netto Hikari had pulled him in far too deep in his heart, and he (barely) got out of it, dead and unfocused. He couldn't let that happen again. He learned from his past, and he isn't about to repeat it.

(His heart whispers that he was the one who pulled Netto in deeper than he imagined, but he ignores this because he can't have these noises distracting him from work.)

* * *

_Netto walks into his room uninvited and crosses his arms in front of Enzan. _"_Just who are you afraid of?" he asks.  
_

_Enzan stares up from his position on the bed. _"_No one. I'm not afraid."_

"_You're lying."_

"_If you knew that, then why the hell did you ask in the first place?" He is tempted to kick Netto out of his room and hide under the covers, hopefully catching some much needed sleep afterwards. But he doesn't do that because Netto is staring at him hard, like he's trying to read him. And Enzan knows that, to Netto, he's pretty much an open book.  
_

"_You care too much about what they think," Netto finally concludes after much scrutiny. Enzan scoffs.  
_

"_Shouldn't that be my line?"_

"_Maybe, if you were still twelve. But c'mon. We're nearly adults now. Aren't we a little too old for peer pressure?"_

* * *

They meet in a little café a few weeks later. Neither of them had the courage to initiate the meeting. They shuffle through all of their excuses: deadlines, board meetings, contract deals… stuff like that. When Rockman had enough, he asked Blues to clear Enzan's schedule for one day. And that was the end of that.

Needless to say, the meeting is rather forced and awkward.

Enzan arrives at the café first. He isn't informed of why he doesn't seem to have a lot of work to do that day, but his instincts tell him that he knows the reason, deep down. Most of his important meetings were pushed to morning, and his schedule was free from three o'clock onwards. He finds it suspicious, but he doesn't say anything.

He goes to the café Blues directs him to without question.

He keeps telling himself that it's not because he wants to see Netto.

He keeps telling himself that it's not because he wants to fix everything.

He keeps telling himself that this little meeting wouldn't matter in the end.

He keeps telling himself that-

"Enzan?"

Screw it. Enzan is definitely sure that Netto's voice would put him on cardiac arrest one day.

"What are you doing here?"

"Don't pretend, Netto. Our navis set us up."

"Right, of course you'd figure it out too."

Enzan wonders. If Netto knew that, then why did he come?

…

He erases all theories before he could cling on to hope. He doesn't want to be (disappointed, assuming) rude.

Netto sits down on the chair opposite of Enzan, and plugs Rockman into the café's network. Enzan does the same, despite his reluctance to let go of Blues. He knows he has to face this alone sooner or later.

The café is called Moonshine, and it is situated in one of the more remote parts of the city, away from the hubbub and the street noise. It is quiet and small and elusive; a ways from both IPC and SciLabs, but it's near Enzan's apartment if he takes a shortcut. Enzan would have found it a peaceful place if not for the situation he is in.

It unnerves him that Netto could still smile like an idiot, even in this predicament.

_Is he smiling because he's happy to see me? Or is he forcing that smile?_

Enzan had expected him to have an outburst or something.

He would probably feel better if Netto _did_ have an outburst. He doesn't like not having control over the situation he's in. That much hasn't changed.

_Is he smiling as honestly as he did all those years back?_

He swallows thickly. Enzan could not imagine having Netto bottle his feelings down. He couldn't help but feel it was his fault.

(It probably is, his heart whispers.)

"What are you getting?" Netto asks cheerfully as he picks up the menu on the table. It annoys Enzan. How can this man be so _happy _when he's facing the one who broke his heart? "Hm, you think they have curry here?"

"It's a café," Enzan drawls, automatically settling in his sarcastic persona. It's his automatic defense mechanism. "If you want curry, go to Maha Ichiban then."

Netto laughs, and Enzan finds that sound both irritating and wonderful. "Yeah, they have the best curry in the world, don't they? Hm, I'll get a chocolate milkshake then. The banana split looks good though. You want coffee right?"

_Black; two sugars, no cream,_ Enzan thought simultaneously as Netto worded his order out. It's amazing how they still synchronize. Did nothing change at all? Enzan could almost wish everything was just a bad dream. Those horrible memories feel so distant now, as if nothing happened between them.

Enzan could only hope, but he knows his reality well.

He looks at Netto – sees the remnants of the impish nature in him, corroded by stress and age and adulthood. There's a flicker of that boyish charm in his face, his voice; it still gets him even when they're both twenty-four and twenty-five and half a world apart. Their days of friendship and saving the world are long gone, and it feels like they're older than they should be.

Everything's different.

"Yeah," he says. "Coffee is fine."

"Just coffee?"

"Just coffee."

There is silence after that, and it feels uncomfortable. Enzan thinks it's an awkward one, but Netto doesn't seem to mind. Three minutes later, a waiter arrives with their coffee and milkshake. And they are left alone again.

* * *

"_Why." It isn't even a question anymore.  
_

"_You know why."  
_

_Netto grumbles and looks outside the window. _"… _It's a stupid reason."_

* * *

They try to start a conversation several times, but none last for longer than a minute. They were lucky if it lasted for two. They jump off different topics: work, friends, family, Net Security. The list goes on, but they couldn't find a good enough icebreaker. Netto is the one who leads the conversation eighty percent of the time, and anyone would have classified that as normal if they didn't sense the unfamiliarity in the air.

Enzan knows what's preventing them from actually _talking_, but he couldn't spit out the words that could break down the barrier.

He couldn't just leave the café either. Whether it was for the sake of courtesy, or because he didn't really want to, Enzan doesn't know. It's easier to think it's because of the former.

Damn social protocols.

"Rockman likes the new PET. So, thanks for that."

"The Blues version?"

"Yeah. Papa got it for me last month."

Enzan nods.

He gives up trying to be polite about halfway through his cup of coffee. Instead, he mumbles out a few phrases here and there just to keep up with Netto. He had resorted himself to looking at the simple scenery outside the café by the end of his cup. Today is the fifth day of snow.

He feels warm.

Strange. Why would he feel that?

"Laika won't be able to make it here," Netto continues with his chatter, smiling against his glass of milkshake. Enzan wonders how Netto could continue smiling like that, even when he's exchanging pleasantries with the one who toyed with his heart and screwed him over (but not really).

(But then, only Netto would be able to smile like that.)

He's amazing, Enzan thinks.

(But it's also annoying.)

"I didn't know he had plans," Enzan says a little awkwardly. He hides his emotions behind his business voice and poker eyes. In truth, it has been a while since he last heard from Laika – or most of the people he knew, for that matter. He doesn't even know what's happening around him anymore. He knows why that is, and he can't help but feel uneasy that he is bothered by it.

(He didn't used to care about people like Laika. Something changed.)

"He doesn't," Netto says, and Enzan lets out a breath he didn't know he had been holding. "But… it'd be nice if he did. We could have a little get together sometime."

"I wasn't aware that you miss us."

"Of course I do. Don't you?"

"… Maybe I do."

Netto laughs again. His voice is deeper now, but Enzan swears it's still one of the more beautiful sounds blessed upon the world. The most beautiful sound is reserved for his mother's voice of course, even if he can't hear her anymore. He hardly remembers it anyway, but he knows there's no sound more melodious than that. Nothing can rival it.

(Except maybe when they are in a dark dark room, and Netto whispers his name in a quiet voice as they fall on the bed, tangled in blankets and warm embraces, because everything is _right_ for once.)

"He said they're still tangled in some Net issues. Again. Apparently someone's trying to sabotage the satellites or something, which makes the CopyRoids go haywire for some reason," Netto explains. "The military navis can hardly use them without blowing up or destroying the place, so it's pretty much unusable. Searchman almost got stuck inside the CopyRoid, but Laika got him out before it wrecked the place. It almost deleted Searchman, actually."

"Hm."

"You're not listening, are you?"

"Just a little."

Netto sighs. Enzan sees snowflakes falling down on his brown hair. He admires the way they are caught in those unruly strands – now free from the familiar bandana he used to wear. That one detail still bothers Enzan, and he couldn't believe how much he still holds on to the past.

Netto's smile is unreadable for once, and Enzan can't help but feel useless that he can't see through them.

(He used to, and he once thought that was his only purpose in life – such was the childish wish of a kid who tasted freedom once.)

He isn't surprised when Netto's eyes stare at his, and he gets nostalgic from that look.

_Don't look at me like that._

"Enzan," Netto says without warning. There's a sparkle in his eyes that Enzan couldn't explain. "You think too much."

Enzan blinks in response. He looks away and mumbles, "You talk too much."

Netto laughs again, and Enzan feels happy that he was able to make Netto create such a wonderful sound.

"Yeah, well, what'd you expect?"

Enzan actually thought about this for a moment, even if it was more of a rhetorical question. Did he expect something to happen today, now that he has a chance to fix things? He probably did – probably still does – and now he feels stupid for doing so. Maybe nothing _will_ happen, and he should have seen it coming.

Not all fairy tales have happy endings. Maybe his life isn't a fairy tale to begin with.

"Nothing, I guess." Enzan gives a rueful smile. So maybe they won't meet again, if the awkward conversations are anything to go by. But Enzan can live with that. Maybe. Hopefully.

(He still thinks this is the starting point, and maybe he should have done _something_ if he wanted change, but he's too scared to do so.)

* * *

_Kisaki Midori, the receptionist that Netto likes to befriend when Enzan's not around, stares at Enzan for a good amount of time. She takes a sip of her coffee. _"_You're being selfish, Enzan-sama," she says in an even tone. "Aren't you ashamed of yourself?"_

_Enzan puts the menu down and sighs. _"_Don't start lecturing me."_

"_But you're just taking it out on him. Did you ever consider how he felt about that?" She gives him a pointed look, but Enzan looks away. He tries to will the guilt away, but to no avail.  
_

"… _It's – I just." It frustrates him how he can't form a coherent thought right now, especially under the receptionist's stare. Enzan thinks that Netto is lucky to have her looking out for him. She's a good friend. "I need him, okay?"_

_She arches an eyebrow. _"_That's not enough reason."_

* * *

It's as if he never grew up.

True, he became a successful businessman – a ruthless one at that. He is now quite the speaker, programmer, and netbattler. He doesn't let adults manipulate him or overlook him. He earns (more than) enough so that he could live (alone) on his own.

He is completely independent now as a person, and all he needs is Blues to survive.

Still, with all these emotions interfering with his thoughts, it's as if he's still a teenager.

It sucks, to say the least. Enzan doesn't know what to do, and that never happens.

(Except for that one time when Netto was in college, but that is the reason why they are here in the first place, isn't it?)

_So,_ he thinks. Should he do something? Should he wait?

Does he want things to change between them? Does _Netto_ want things to change?

Does he want to rebuild any sort of relationship with him, platonic or not?

He doesn't know. And it's a defeating feeling.

They are still sitting on the chairs outside the café with an empty cup and half-empty glass on the table, and a too small umbrella above them trying to keep the snow away. He doesn't know why they bother out here in the cold when there's so much space and warmth inside the café. Netto doesn't seem to mind – he hasn't minded _anything_ since they met, and it still bothers Enzan because that is so unlike him. He should be complaining about something by now with a loud voice.

They're both cold though, as Enzan can feel when his hand brushes slightly, swiftly, against Netto's.

(There's still a warm feeling inside him, despite all this.)

"I can still see the snowflakes even when your hair is white," Netto says offhandedly. His eyes are looking at Enzan's head, and it feels unusual. Awkward. "Weird. But then, your hair always has been."

"Speak for yourself," Enzan says, snorting a little. "Do you even comb yours?"

"It's… a style."

"Right."

Netto rolls his eyes. He stares at Enzan a bit more, and Enzan dearly wishes that he is in a business meeting right now instead of enduring an awkward reunion with the man he hurt in the past.

"So is this it? You're not going to do anything?"

"About what?"

"About us."

Enzan doesn't answer. He wonders, why doesn't _Netto_ do something then? But he couldn't bring himself to ask him, and anyway, it would have been a selfish question to begin with. If anything, Netto's probably thinking that it's Enzan's responsibility to make a move. After all, he destroyed everything. He should build it again.

Figures.

Netto tilts his head, and asks in a patient voice, "I miss us, you know. Before things happened."

Enzan blinks.

_He's provoking me, isn't he?_

He narrows his eyes. He's not going to fall for it. No, not when he's still (possessive, unable to let go) uneasy and confused.

There's this unexplainable sparkle in Netto's eyes again. Enzan blinks again. Netto is saying something and (it's something important, probably, because he's apologizing for the past or some shit, but Enzan couldn't tell what exactly Netto's talking about because) Enzan could only trace the way Netto's lips dance into a smile, and the way he twirls the straw around the glass, and how he keeps brushing his hair away because he's not wearing a bandana.

Netto holds his hand – Enzan doesn't know why (maybe his attention has been too selective lately) – and says, "Look, I know we haven't talked in, like, years. And it sucks, it really does. So can't we just, y'know, forget about everything and start over? I kind of want my rival back. And Rockman misses Blues a lot too. I mean, they still talk but. Y'know. It's not the same."

Enzan traces the shape of his body – from his jawline to his throat, to the collarbones there. His hands feel incredibly (tingly) warm, even though the hands holding his are cold from the snow.

He's never been this conscious about himself since… well, years actually. Netto just has that effect on him.

Netto gives Enzan a smile, one that's really genuine and slightly apologetic, and Enzan inwardly sighs. Of all the people in the world, why did he have to fall for this person? He could feel a sense of resignation coming over. Great.

"C'mon Enzan. Please? You could at least talk. I'm sorry, I really am. And I reeeaally want my friend back. If you don't want to, I guess I've got nothing else to say. It was worth a shot though." Netto gives him the puppy dog eyes for extra kick.

And damn it. It _works_. Enzan sighs.

Well… damn. Fine, he's doing something.

He's _doing_ something, and he doesn't care about the consequences.

(His conscience tells him that's how this whole fiasco started to begin with, but he pushes that aside.)

(It's Netto's fault anyway. He's been provoking him from the get go.)

(Netto's fault. His.)

"Do you," he chokes out. Why is this so hard all of a sudden? "Want to come over?"

Netto practically _beams_, and his eyes are bright when he answers. Enzan wonders how emotional Netto can be with just his eyes. It's such an attractive characteristic of him.

"Sure! I'd love that." Netto looks practically overjoyed by this offer, and Enzan can't help but smile.

Damn. He hopes he doesn't screw this one up. Rockman will never forgive him if he does.

(He's pretty sure he wouldn't forgive himself either if that happens.)

* * *

**A/N: **OMG. There are still people in the Rockman community. You don't know how surprised I am to know that. And I'm almost a day late with my update. Whoops. But I made it, though. At least, here in my time zone. XD Updates might be go on weekly (give or take) until I run out of chapters. Probably.

Anyway~ I feel this chapter to be sorta fluffy. Kinda. But nothing will beat the fluff next chapter. I personally love Chapter 2, so keep an eye out for it. Next chapter is one of my favorite chapters because it was so fun to write, so I'm a little biased in saying that it's better, relatively speaking. Then again, _this_ chapter is the one I least liked writing, so other chapters, in my opinion, are automatically better in comparison.

But you be the judge of that.


	3. Dalliance

**Word Count: **3416**  
**

**Note: **Chapter written from Netto's perspective.

* * *

**Dalliance**

* * *

"_You're just running away," Netto says, his voice low. They are standing in a dangerously close distance, and he's not sure what he'll do with it. He could lash out then kiss the boy in front of him, or punch him in the face for being stupid right now.  
_

_Enzan scowls. "If you knew how much trouble it is to run a company-"_

"_It's not _about_ the company!" Netto throws his hands up in frustration. "It's about how you're not being honest with me-"_

"_Don't talk to me about honesty when you haven't told _your_ father yet!" Enzan yells. His eyes widen once he realizes what he just said.  
_

_Netto flinches and takes a step back._

_It stings._

* * *

They are taking a limousine ride to Enzan's, just because they can. Netto knows that Enzan, for all the pride he has, would never take public transportation if he could afford it. Or maybe he's avoiding something? Netto had suspected that too; after all, Enzan didn't mind taking the Metroline back when they were kids – as long as Netto was able to talk him into it.

_Besides, he's not like Yai. He doesn't mind commuting that much – I don't think he even cares about how he gets to work as long as he gets there on time._

He would have asked to walk the rest of the way, but Enzan didn't seem to be up for it. "We're just going to get wet," he said, but his comment was too off-handed that Netto feels like something's amiss.

And now Netto knows why. The limousine stops at an unfamiliar place, with a more modest setting than he remembers. It's a quiet suburb, and in front of him are rows of small houses, big houses, and nice little apartments that seem snug for the winter. Enzan leads him to one of the apartments, and sets his key on the lock.

Needless to say, this isn't the posh mansion Netto is used to seeing.

"What happened to your mansion?"

"Father is there." The reply is curt. And that was the end of that. Netto doesn't say anything else.

The inside of the apartment has a modern, sleek look that doesn't make it appear to be some little apartment tucked in the innermost suburbs. It is still kind of small, though Netto supposes that Enzan can't really do anything about the size. He probably doesn't care anyway so long as the apartment is functional. That is, as long as Enzan can sleep and do his work, then it's good to go. Food is probably secondary to him, Netto muses.

Blues is already inside the apartment's network, as Netto can see through the monitor on the wall. So he plugs Rockman in as well, and follows Enzan as he tours him around this little abode.

"There's a guest room, if you want to stay," he says, and Netto gets the impression that Enzan doesn't have a lot of friends over. He also finds out that Enzan isn't the best of hosts – at least that much hasn't changed. Netto doesn't mind anyway.

"It's nice," he says after the short tour, and Enzan lets out a small sigh of relief.

That little sigh makes Netto grin, and it makes him oh so _happy_ to have his friend back.

* * *

He stays with Enzan and plays video games with him and the navis until nightfall. Netto is surprised to find out that Enzan still kept some of the cartridges and games that Netto left in his mansion years and years ago. They pretty much go through most of them, for nostalgia's sake, and then they try the new human-navi interactive game that Enzan just got about two weeks ago. Netto is surprised to find that Enzan actually buys them, so maybe he did rub off on him after all these years.

(He still sucks compared to Netto's kickass videogame skills, but he's not half bad either. He won half the games they played, so there's that. Netto chalks it up on the fact that Enzan knows the games better than he does.)

"Wait, you didn't _tell_ me the boss fight was timed!" Netto exclaims.

Enzan smirks, and Netto really did miss that smirk. "You didn't ask."

They become kids again, bickering at each other and getting into competitive spirits.

By eight o'clock, Netto is severely hungry, so Enzan heats up some dinner he found in the freezer.

"He cooks?" he asks Blues.

"No," the navi answers. He sighs. "He doesn't eat here much, but when he does, he usually just orders take out. Sometimes he _tries_ to make something edible though. When he remembers. He keeps forgetting he needs food to live."

"I resent that!" Enzan calls from the kitchen. Netto chuckles and follows him.

"You haven't changed," he says. He picks up some plates to set on the table. It's the least he can do. "Not that it's a bad thing."

Enzan brings the food out and settles down with Netto. He looks at him in the eyes, and Netto can't read him because there are too many emotions in them. But he senses something… cold about them. Whether that coldness is directed at him, or at Enzan himself, Netto doesn't know. He's disappointed that he doesn't.

He glances at the navis watching them through the monitor (Enzan has a peculiar number of them all over his apartment), and Rockman smiles at him as a sort of… encouragement, he guesses. He gives two thumbs up, and Blues nods, and Netto feels a bit more reassured. He smiles in return.

"You have. Changed, that is," Enzan replies in a quiet voice. Netto wonders if he's hurt because of that observation.

They eat dinner in silence. When Netto looks up, he sees their navis looking at each other nervously, as if they're unsure whether they should interrupt or not. In the end, they don't. They didn't need to.

"Do you cook?" Enzan asks out of the blue. The air feels lighter just by that question. It's a relief to Netto that Enzan can still make a decent conversation with him.

"Er… I can make sandwiches."

"So you can't."

"It's not like you can either!"

* * *

They get ready to sleep by eleven o'clock. It's earlier than their usual bedtime, and neither of them got to do any work at all when they should have, but Netto doesn't mind. He's still wary of everything, and Enzan more so, but he couldn't deny that he's missed nights like this – when he used to sleep at Enzan's house and wear his clothes because he keeps forgetting to bring his own. He missed Blues' snide comments and Rockman's easy laughter, not because he hasn't heard them all before, but because they're all so _different_ when they're together.

He's missed Enzan most of all, even when people (Laika) tell(s) him he shouldn't.

Enzan puts his PET on the charger, and Netto does the same with his portable one. They both get dressed for bed; Enzan lends his other pair of pyjamas. They are one or two sizes bigger than Netto's, but he doesn't mind. They look brand new and hardly used, which says much about Enzan's sleeping habits (or lack thereof).

Maybe they're a little bigger on Enzan too, Netto thinks. It's entirely possible that Enzan couldn't care less about how big his sleeping clothes are if he doesn't bother to use them often. Netto can easily imagine Enzan falling asleep with his work clothes on, because he's the workaholic type, and he probably forgets a lot of things because of that. Food and clothes included.

"Are you sure it's okay for me to stay here?" Netto asks again, just to be sure. He himself isn't sure whether he's willing to stay either. He's too emotional right now, because that's just how he works. And he misses Enzan _so _much. He misses the snide remarks and sarcastic banter; the challenge in competing against him; the safety and danger his life has been in just because he's Enzan's friend.

(And, sometimes, he even misses the chaste kisses Enzan would give him when he thinks he's not aware.)

"It's fine," Enzan replies. He doesn't look at Netto, but Netto can tell he feels awkward. He can tell since they met in the café, but that's only because he's been with Enzan for so long that he can read him better than anyone else. "I don't want you to go out on your own. It's already late."

"Tell that to my twelve-year-old self next time," Netto says, a playful smile on his lips.

Rockman cuts in with a smirk. "Geez, just be honest already. Just tell him you missed him too. Honestly, stop being so tsundere all the time." Through the monitor, Netto can see him laughing with Blues.

"They are quite adorable, aren't they?" Blues says.

Enzan gives the monitor a good glare. Netto couldn't help but stupidly smile at that.

They say goodnight to each other. And they go to their separate rooms.

* * *

It's past midnight when it happens. Netto doesn't know who started it first, him or Enzan, but for one reason or another, they end up in the same bed.

Maybe he's the one who initiated it. After all, this is Enzan's room.

They huddle under the blanket without a sound. Netto hears his heartbeat beating loudly though.

It's a nice feeling, he thinks. It's also a scary feeling.

It's not the same feeling that he gets when Enzan used to unconsciously huddle next to him because of nightmares. Or when he used to pull Enzan next to him because he couldn't sleep. It's not the same feeling, but at the same time, it kinda is.

It's hard to explain, really.

Maybe from the start, they were just prolonging this moment. Or maybe they were waiting for it to weigh them down. Or maybe, everything has been culminating to this night. Whatever it is, fate or destiny or coincidence or whatever, it's pretty much stated in their hearts that they should settle this affair once and for all. Four years of silent heartbreak is too much.

It's baseless and pointless. They have nothing and everything to build their relationship on. But they're both uncertain, unsure, and they both want each other more than they ever thought they would.

"I missed you," Netto says with all honesty. He's never been one to lie, not to Enzan at least. He curls up on him, pulls the blankets to himself more, and enjoys the feeling of the other man's body heat so close.

"Missed you too," Enzan murmurs, moving in closer. His eyes are tired, and his voice is heavy and sleep-laced. But he doesn't sleep, not until Netto does.

They start with minimal touches. Netto squeezes Enzan's hand in his – they are calloused and bigger. Enzan drapes an arm across Netto's chest, fingers curling on soft cotton, following the way Netto's chest expands and contracts with air. Netto's hand moves upwards, slowly, tracing the pale skin and imagining the blood pulsing through those thin veins.

"What happens now?" Enzan asks, still uncertain. He stifles a yawn; fights the slumber that's slowly seeping in. It's almost cute, Netto thinks. "Do you want things to go back to the way they were, or…?"

Netto doesn't really know himself, despite being the one who asked to 'have his rival back'. He doesn't know what he wants, just that Enzan should be in the picture. And he says just that. "I don't know."

"I still love you."

Netto closes his eyes. Somehow, he's not all that surprised.

"I know," he says. He can't bring himself to say it, to say those four little words he's not sure Enzan is waiting for. But he lets Enzan gather him to an embrace, and they fall asleep just like that.

* * *

Their relationship remains undefined throughout the course of winter. They are neither lovers, nor friends, and they have nothing to rival the other about. Netto doesn't know what to call Enzan (an acquaintance? a not-friend?), and he most certainly never expected this to happen when he asked for them to start over.

Not that he ever expected anything to begin with.

Maybe that's what his relationship with Enzan – if you could call it that – should be like. One without expectations and labels. Maybe it was never meant to be defined in the first place.

"You're happier lately," Rockman tells him one night, when he's too tired to work but he's too awake to sleep. He stares at the (dirty, neglected) grey ceiling and listens to the white noise floating through his ears. "I'm glad, I really am. Just… be careful, please Netto-kun?"

Netto rolls his eyes. "Enzan's not like that anymore, Rockman."

"I know. He's better now," Rockman paces along the PET's floor with a frown. "But if something happens…"

"You worry too much."

"I just don't want either of you to get hurt again," Rockman says. His face is contorted with all seriousness and anxiety. It worries Netto to have his navi – his brother – so worked up about his and Enzan's... whatever. He doesn't really know what they have exactly. "I'm glad you're both talking again, but Enzan can be so… volatile sometimes. You know that."

Netto gives him a pointed look. "He hasn't been lately."

"That doesn't mean he _won't_ be." Rockman sighs. "What do you expect to happen, Netto?"

Netto looks up at the ceiling again. He has his most important person back, and yet… he still doesn't know.

"You know I would always be on your side," Rockman says. "But right now, if anything goes wrong, it's going to be your fault. Enzan can't handle relationships well, not when it comes to _you_. He has this weird sense of self-entitlement. You're not lovers, you're not friends, you're not even- oh god, what would Laika say if he was here? You're chasing after him _again–_"

"Well Laika isn't here, so there's no need to think about what _he_ thinks," Netto cuts in. Honestly, he's more scared of what Laika _wouldn't_ be saying. "I don't want to waste this second chance, Rockman. You're with me, aren't you?"

Rockman laughs, as if the question was too absurd for Netto to even ask. "Whether this ends in heartbreak or not, I'm with you. All the way. You know I always will be."

Netto smiles, and he's never felt more content in _years_. He touches the screen of the PET, and wishes he didn't break his CopyRoid last month so that he could actually hug Rockman for being such an awesome brother.

* * *

They gravitate to a routine of sorts. Sometimes, it's just pure coincidence. Or maybe they know each other so well that they can predict when and where they would see each other.

It almost always ends up in Enzan's apartment, both of them curled up in Enzan's bed.

They never do anything more than the occasional kiss, and even then it's awkward and imperfect. The first time they did it, it was almost an accident. Maybe it's some force of habit – they used to kiss each other before they went to sleep when they were a couple.

"Sorry!" they had both cried out. It's a wonder that they simultaneously thought of doing it – it almost looks like a couple's kiss. Netto had been afraid that he initiated it, and he couldn't let such a silly little accident ruin their chances of _talking_ again.

Enzan had laughed, and it's been a long while since Netto's heard it. "I guess we're still too used to being together."

Netto had smirked in good humor. "You just can't help it that I'm _that_ attractive."

Enzan just rolled his eyes at that. Even under the cover of night, Netto always thought that Enzan's eyes were beautiful.

They never kiss that much after that, and when they do, it's always lazy and chaste and… sweet.

He doesn't know what they have, or how long this will last. But it's a change from the standstill, and Netto's content with the present. After all, he can only keep the present to himself for so long.

* * *

Enzan is hesitant when he comes over to Netto's place. Netto can tell. He doesn't know _how_ exactly, but he never really questions that anyway. He just assumes that he has become an expert at reading the dual-haired man after all these years. He doesn't understand why Enzan would have a reason to be hesitant at all until he asks, "Do you remember why we stopped talking?"

Netto tilts his head. Of course he remembers it, clear as day. "Yeah. Why bring that up?"

He's not going to apologize again, is he?

"I just want to say that, it won't happen again," Enzan says. He doesn't look away or fidget. His eyes are dead serious, and Netto can feel the weight of his stare. It's alarming, and surprisingly endearing. "I'm… I want to make this one last."

Netto smiles. He almost would have laughed if Enzan isn't trying to make this such a serious conversation. "That's so cheesy of you."

"I'm being serious here."

"I know. And that's not like you. You're supposed to be tsun tsun tsun tsun-ing all day. You're only dere dere during the night." Netto's smile turns into a grin. He's already forgiven Enzan long ago, even if the other man might not think so. No, perhaps it's more precise to say that Netto never needed to forgive Enzan in the first place. This whole conversation, while sweet, is useless to begin with. "Still, thanks. I'd like that, the whole 'making it last' thing that you said. So, we going to that movie or what?"

Enzan facepalms. "You're ruining a supposedly delicate moment here."

"Of course!" Netto stands up and slings an arm over Enzan, his expression cheeky as ever. "But when have I ever been delicate with you?"

Enzan rolls his eyes, but smiles all the same. "You'd better make it worth my while to make this relationship last, Hikari. And when have I ever been a tsundere?"

Somehow, Netto knew Enzan would say that. And that's what makes him all the more predictable and, well, so _Enzan_. "_Sometimes~_" he replies in a singsong voice. "When you're in one of your moods." He kisses his boyfriend's forehead lazily and laughs.

Their hands find each other's, their fingers languidly intertwining.

* * *

"_You still love me, right?" Netto asks.  
_

"_Wh-what kind of question is that?" Enzan crosses his arms and looks away. Netto laughs, biting his tongue before he could comment how tsundere Enzan is being right now.  
_

"_I dunno. I'm just asking!"_

"_Well, it's a dumb question." Enzan's face is pale enough that Netto can see the faint blush tainting them.  
_

_He laughs. _"_I'll take that as a yes, then?"_

* * *

There are days, though, when he _couldn't_ predict Enzan at all.

It happens today, when Netto lets himself inside Enzan's apartment with a bag of chips and some old movies they used to watch with Laika. Enzan's apartment is like his second home now. (He barely even sleeps in his own apartment, if he's being honest.)

"Hey, remember those cheesy old horror movies we used to watch? I have Dawn of the De-" he stops in mid-sentence when Enzan runs up to him, clutching his lab coat in a clingy embrace.

There are tears in his eyes.

"Enzan?" Netto asks, stunned. He pulls the other man closer, breathes in his scent. His hands automatically rub circles around his back in a comforting gesture. "What happened?"

Enzan doesn't reply. He falls down to his knees, drained of strength, bringing Netto down with him to the floor. They stumble down ungracefully.

"Can I…" he asks hesitantly. He lets out a frustrated breath. "Let me kiss you. Please."

Enzan, who has never been good with handling these sort of awkward situations to begin with, smashes his lips with Netto's in a vain attempt to get a response. He doesn't use words – maybe he can't, Netto thinks – so he uses his lips, his _tongue_, to pass on the message he wants Netto to hear.

(So much for renewed friendship.)

Their teeth crash, and it kinda hurts if Netto's being honest. It is a very unrefined kiss, but neither of them cares so much about the inexistence of its elegance. Netto kisses back, and he doesn't know why he's doing it since he knows he shouldn't be; Rockman would be angry when (if) he finds out.

(It's not like he's being screwed over again, but you know.)

Once that thought crosses his mind, he breaks the kiss and pushes Enzan off. "What the hell, Enzan?"

"My… my father's dead," Enzan tells him in a coarse voice. He clings to Netto like he's his only lifeline left. "I can't – I don't… I'm not… Please, Netto. Don't go. Don't leave."

Netto's eyes widen at the revelation. He doesn't know what to say, so he collects Enzan in a protective embrace. They no longer kiss.

"Stay. Please," Enzan whispers. Netto has never seen him so broken.

He never lets go until Enzan tells him to.

* * *

**A/N: **Early-ish update this time, 'cause I won't be here tomorrow. Or in the next few days.**  
**

Ah, the fluff~ I personally don't like the part where Netto and Enzan reconcile though. But I've written and rewritten that part a thousand times already (not joking here), so I had to make do with the best version lest I ruin the scene altogether. But I know what you're thinking: _Oh no there's wangsting next chapter_. Don't worry. Enzan will get over it soon. It won't be that awful. I think.

Anyway.

It is in these kinds of chapters that I think the writing style I'm experimenting with actually works, but maybe that's just me. Is anyone bothered/confused by my writing style? I can make it less confusing if you want, though. Since, well, you know. I use a lot of parentheses recently.

Reviews are writer's friends~

**Side Note#1:** I have no idea what Enzan's family is like. All I know is his mother's dead. So any backstory I'll be giving from here on out will be, well, part of the AU in this fic. Wooh, I'm scared of writing it, actually. But also excited.


	4. PaperThin

**Word Count: **4601**  
**

**Note: **Edited flashbacks in previous chapters. Go check them out. Chapter written from Enzan's and Blues' perspective.

* * *

**Paper-Thin**

* * *

Enzan doesn't hate his father, exactly.

He doesn't always know what he feels for the old man, truth be told. He has felt resentment, loneliness, and even abandonment at one point. But never hate.

He has felt sadness, but never despair.

He has felt frustration.

He has felt pride, when he saw his father's face the moment he took over the company. And even more, when he presented Blues to the world for the first time.

He has felt apathy for too many times in his lifetime.

He has felt lost.

And perhaps even joy, even if he can only recall a few glimpses of the emotion. And of those that he can recall, they are some of the cherished memories.

He doesn't, however, recall ever receiving love from him.

Or if he has ever felt love _for_ him.

(But he knows he does. He just… doesn't _recall_.)

He knows though, the feeling of regret. He's not sure of what he regrets, exactly.

But it wrenches his gut day and night now, and it's never a comfortable feeling.

* * *

"I'm moving in," Netto announces three nights after. He unceremoniously dumps his bags inside the apartment (there's quite a few of them) and proceeds to make himself at home without waiting for Enzan's reply. "I'll be taking the guest room from now on. Hope you don't mind!"

"What do you think you're doing?" Enzan asks, arms crossed in front of him. He arches an eyebrow, and finds that he doesn't actually mind that much if Netto is really serious about staying in his apartment. However… "You have your own apartment."

"So? You're a mess, and no one's taking care of you. I know this is a big deal and you need privacy, but someone's gotta keep an eye on you in case you do something you might regret."

"It would be very helpful, Enzan-sama," Blues says from the monitor. For some reason, Rockman is already with him. "As I am only a navi, I cannot physically help you unless I am installed in a CopyRoid."

Enzan narrows his eyes. "In other words, you all think that I am now, _somehow_, apparently incapable of making sure I live through next morning."

"Bingo!" Netto cheekily smiles and plops himself on the couch. "Wow, you got yourself down pat, Enzan."

Enzan heaves a long suffering sigh. Netto's banters tend to get those out of him, especially recently. He stares down hard on him. "If you're moving in, you're paying half the rent."

Netto rolls his eyes. "You know, I never really get that about you," he says. He's spread out on the couch as if he really does consider Enzan's apartment his second home. He waves his hand around and gestures at the apartment in general. "I mean, you're the president of IPC now. The head honcho. I know you like being independent and all, but why an apartment? You could easily buy a house of your own. Heck, you don't even have to own the company to buy your own house! Why an apartment? And a small one at that."

"It's not that small," Enzan says in defense.

"There's only one guest room," Rockman deadpans.

Enzan takes a step back. He looks to the side before muttering, "I was told that my mother used to live here before meeting my father."

Netto stares at him, and finally nods in understanding. Rockman nods his head too, completely in synch with his Operator. It's an envious characteristic they share. Not that Enzan and Blues don't synchronize, but they don't exactly have that same special bond Netto shares with Rockman.

They stare at him, but they don't press further.

Enzan keeps talking anyway.

It feels freeing to talk to Netto about these things.

"Scoot," he says, pushing Netto's legs off to gain space. He sits down beside him and sighs. "She didn't live _here _exactly, but she used to live in these suburbs. I don't really remember her much, to be honest."

Netto takes his hand. It's comforting. "You loved her a lot, don't you?"

"Of course."

"What about your dad?"

Enzan looks away. It's a delicate subject, and he's not in the mood to talk about it.

(He's not even sure how to answer that question at all.)

"You know," Netto says. "Since yesterday, you keep telling me that you're not sure if you love him. I think you do."

"What makes you say that?"

"I know you. You're not that heartless, and neither is your father. Both of you just have a strange way of showing how much you love someone, that's all. You love to build walls around yourselves. And…" His eyes soften, and Enzan thinks it's because of a sense of endearment. Or rather, he hopes it's because of that. "Your way of protecting someone is by pulling that person behind those walls. It's how you show your love. I bet your dad's just like that as well. Maybe you even got it from him."

Netto closes his eyes and places his arms behind his head, before finishing his short monologue. "Maybe you both understand how the other works, and that's why you don't bother to bring each other inside your walls. The two of you are so similar, I bet neither of you even noticed."

It stings a little when he hears it, even when he knows it's the truth. When Netto puts it like that, it somehow doesn't make him feel norma. And how long has it been since he's been like that anyway? He's never had a normal education, and he barely has any regular friends. He has comrades and allies, and loads of acquaintances, but there are only few that he can call his friends.

(Of which one is a soldier, another is a world-renowned-hero-now-turned-computer-scientist, and three are computer programs designed to battle viruses and navigate the net. Yeah, not exactly what Enzan would picture as typical friends.)

He wonders if even his way of showing his emotions may even be considered normal.

It's a wonder why he even let Netto break off from his life in the past. It's like, of all his human friends, it's Netto who can read him like an open book. He never even spares a glance to check if he's right in reading him. He always is.

"That's… actually an impressive analysis," Enzan admits. He gives Netto a curious look, even though the other can't see it. "Have you been talking to Blues?"

"Maybe. But you know we're right anyway."

Of course they are. They always are.

Enzan sighs. He pinches the bridge of his nose and closes his eyes as well. There's just so much stress in him. He's still not sure how to deal with his father's death, or what he even _thinks_ of it. It's just… it's a big thing, you know? He knew it was going to happen sooner or later, especially with his father's health steadily plummeting over the last few years. It's that very reason why Enzan had to take over the company. But,

It's crazy. It's like there is this big neon sign telling him that these last few years were his last chance of ever setting things straight with his father, and he didn't even take heed.

(In hindsight, his father didn't even say _goodbye_. Damn it.)

It has only been two days. No, three. Three days of not working, three days of holing himself in his apartment, three days of ignoring the outside world. Those three days have been the most unproductive three days in his life. And to think that Netto even suggested living together so he can keep an eye on him. Enzan swears Blues is behind this, even if he knows his navi will just deny it to the ends of the net.

And to think (even further), he still needs to plan the funeral, and maybe make up some kind of speech for the company. And he has to deal with the media soon. _Oh god, he has to deal with the media_. Enzan grits his teeth. He's sure they won't even let him mope for long, being the nosy busybodies they are. He had to make sure he gets enough sleep and gets himself sorted pronto with the work he has to deal with soon.

(Not to mention having to deal with Netto living – breathing – in the same living space as him.)

"Hey, calm down Enzan." Netto sits up and presses a hand on his shoulder. Enzan opens his eyes, startled. "You okay? No, wait, don't answer that. Stupid question." He looks away, a little guilty look spreading in his eyes. "If you're really bothered about me living here, I could leave. I mean, I'll still check up on you everyday just to make sure you _eat_, but if you want to kick me out-"

It's amusing how their minds synchronize, even in thought. Just as when his thought crosses the idea of Netto _living_ with him – temporarily or not – Netto decides to make some comment about it.

Enzan shakes his head. No, he can't shake Netto off, not right now when he's (confused, stressed out) falling apart. He _needs_ Netto. Just the fact that Netto can easily read him, when he can't understand himself, is proof of that.

"No, I don't mind," he replies. Then he gives him a stern look. "But I'm serious about you paying half the rent."

Netto rolls his eyes and laughs. "Of course."

* * *

_Shuuseki Ijuuin is sitting behind the desk, hands clasped in front of him. He gives Enzan a firm look. _"_I'll be retiring soon, Enzan. You're taking over a month from now," he announces.  
_

_Enzan blinks, taken aback. _"_What? But why?"_

"_What do you think? My heart problem is acting up again." Shuuseki gives a long suffering sigh. It's the kind of sound a person would make when he is exhausted and drained, but still holding up while they still can. "Don't tell me you can't even handle overseeing a company? I did not raise you just for naught."_

_Enzan fights the urge to look to the side. He looks into his father's eyes instead. He's almost bubbling with determination to rise up to the challenge. _"… _No, I'll do it."_

"_Good. Then don't fail me."_

* * *

He keeps himself up late at night, and it's tiring.

Still, it would be a while before he decides to wake Netto up.

"Enzan-sama, please rest," Blues says desperately from the PET on the charger, and it's alarming to hear it. He never sounds desperate. _Ever._ Well, except maybe on some of the more life-threatening missions. But that is entirely different. His father's death isn't life threatening, not on _his_ life at least. "You have been awake for too long. This isn't good for your health. I'll tell Rockman to wake Netto up and-"

"_Don't,_" Enzan says in a tense tone. He looks up from his position in his bed (arms hugging his knees up to his chest, eyes staring at nothingness) to give Blues an exhausted, but hopefully stern, look. "Don't. You. Dare."

Blues hesitates in the PET. "If you don't sleep soon, I will have to disobey."

"Later. I will sleep. Later. Just." Enzan sighs. He can't even form a straight, coherent thought in his head right now. His sentences end up in fragments, and _it's just not like him._ "Think. I just need to think."

Blues puts a hand up, as if he's touching an invisible barrier that's preventing him to run to his Operator's side. If Blues and Netto can read Enzan like an open book, so can he to them. Enzan can't see his navi's eyes behind the visor, but he knows what Blues is feeling right now. It's in those little movements: his lips, his body language. His entire disposition tells him Blues that is concerned.

No, not just concerned. He's worried. Anxious. Desperate.

Desperate?

"Very well. What are you thinking about, Enzan-sama?"

"The media," Enzan lies. Like hell he'd ever think about them. "The funeral. The company."

He could _feel_ Blues' stare from behind his visor. "Your father," the navi says softly.

Enzan doesn't mean it, but he flinches nonetheless. He didn't think he would be affected by his father's death to this extent.

"My father. Yes. Of course," he parrots. He can never put up pretenses with Blues, huh? He sluggishly moves to the edge of the bed, and reaches out to take the PET off the charger. He holds it loosely in his hands, but just the feeling of holding Blues in some tangible way makes him feel lighter. Better. Not alone.

"Do you miss him?" Blues asks quietly.

It's an interesting question. _Does_ he miss his absent father, the one he hardly interacts with? The one who hardly spares him a glance? The one who's never there because of business business business?

(Business that Enzan is now in control of. Business that brings him closer, just a little, to his father's life.)

Does he miss the father who was proud of his achievements, however silently he says them? Does he miss the father who recognized his potential and pushed him in the cutthroat successful adult world?

His eyes sting again as the tears well up in his eyes. And, yup, there goes those feelings again. Damn it. "I..." He sighs. There's no use; he can tell Blues can plainly see the truth written all over him. Even when he can't admit it to himself.

Damn it. He'll be mature about this. He's an adult now.

(He still longs for someone to cradle him in his arms, for the warmth of a mother he doesn't have.)

"Maybe," he finally says. "He is… my father after all." His voice comes out broken and soft, almost like a whisper.

Blues nods. "I'm sure he's proud of you, Enzan-sama. I'm– " at this, Blues looks down, clenching his fists. "I wish I could be there to comfort you, and not trapped inside this device. You don't have to pretend to be strong. I'm here for you, Enzan-sama."

Enzan doesn't reply. He hugs the PET to his chest and silently cries.

* * *

Enzan wakes up with the worst hangover, and he doesn't recall having that many shots last night. He always takes care not to drink too many during those parties he infrequently attends. He swears he's going to stop any alcohol intake in the next few weeks. Not that he ever touches the vile thing if he can. But, eh, social protocols have their demands. He'll have to remind Blues to watch out for him next time. Maybe he should make a list of excuses to make sure he doesn't have to attend a single party ever again. Yeah, that seems like a good plan.

"Netto-kun, I don't think that's salt."

"Doesn't matter. It'll taste good either way."

"Netto-kun, you _do_ know we're talking about _your_ cooking. It never ends well."

"Shut up, Rockman. I'm trying my best here!"

And what _is_ with the racket anyway? He doesn't recall bringing the party home with him. Was he _that _drunk? … Yeah, maybe he was. Is? Maybe he is? Ugh, this is _horrible_. He doesn't even remember the party at all. He didn't pass out, did he? That would have been humiliating. What if the media caught wind of this if he did?

"I guess that's okay as long as you don't set the oven on fire."

"If it ever comes to that, we can always fix it. We've done it dozens of times already."

"Yeah, but those were _viruses_."

"So? Same difference!"

"You're impossible, sometimes."

That sounds familiar. Huh, he could have sworn that voice sounded like Rockman. But… he didn't go to a party with Netto. Or did he? Maybe he ended up in Netto's apartment instead of his? Enzan groans. Somehow, he knows that thinking about anything will just make his headache worse. Call it experience, if you will.

He sits up. "Ugh, Blues what time is it?" he asks automatically. He gropes around the bed and his pockets until he finds the PET under the tangled mess of bed sheets. "What happened to the business party? Was I… was I drunk?"

"Exactly nine in the evening, Enzan-sama." Blues gives an amused, but tired, smile. The PET's battery is running low. "There were no parties. You fell asleep last night."

"No par- wait, last night?" And just like that, Enzan could remember everything, whether or not this is unfortunate. He groans again. He can hear more noise coming from the kitchen, and there's a vague burning smell in the air. This can't be good. "How long was I asleep?"

"About eighteen and a half hours, give or take." When Enzan directs his attention to the noise, Blues sighs. "Netto-san is in the kitchen making late dinner."

Enzan gives his navi an incredulous look, but he's happy for the distraction. He doesn't want to think about anything unpleasant right now. "He cooks? I thought he told me he couldn't."

Again, Blues gives him an amused smile. "I don't believe he does. Rockman is with him, but a navi can only do so much without a CopyRoid. Which you haven't charged in days, Enzan-sama."

"I never had the opportunity to use it, so there's no reason to." In fact, Enzan promptly forgot he owns one. It was a gift given to him.

"Yesterday, I could have…" Blues shakes his head. He sighs. "No, never mind. I am sure you don't want to think about these things right now."

Enzan arches an eyebrow. He plugs the PET to another monitor in his apartment, and Blues materializes into view. He puts the PET in the charger and faces the monitor with crossed arms. "You're too good at reading me, you know that? You and Netto…"

Blues bows elegantly. When he faces Enzan, his smirk can't be missed. "I wouldn't be a useful navi if I can't." They hear more noise in the kitchen, and Enzan could see Blues scrutinizing him. "I think we should see what's going on. In any case, you need to eat, Enzan-sama. You look thin and worn out."

Enzan nods. He wouldn't dare find a mirror to check Blues' judgement. "You look tired yourself."

Blues shrugs. But just as he was about to switch to another monitor, Enzan presses a hand on the screen. He thinks about how Blues' hand might feel in his. Would it be warm? Or would he only feel the CopyRoid's cold hand? He doesn't know, and he can't bring himself to use a CopyRoid to know. Because it will never be like the real Blues at all. Just a shell to replace.

This must be how Blues felt last night, he thinks. To have something standing in between him and his navi. To be cut off from someone so close to you. The glass of the monitor is cold and not very reassuring, but Blues brings up his hand to touch the barrier as well. Enzan looks at Blues with a grateful look, and smiles.

"Thank you for last night," he whispers. "Thank you for being there."

Blues smiles back. "You don't need to thank me. I'm always here, Enzan-sama."

* * *

"I'll be honest. I used to be jealous of your family," Enzan says to Netto two nights later. They are both lying down on the floor, staring up at the ceiling with arms stretched out wide. He doesn't remember why they are lying down on the floor, but he's certain that it's Netto's idea and that they are both too lazy to get up. "I think I still am."

Netto scoffs like it doesn't bother him. It probably doesn't. "Well I used to be jealous of your netbattling, so we're even."

It's not something he should be jealous about, Enzan thinks. He turns his head to look at Netto, who's content with staring at the neglected ceiling as if there were pretty little stars lighting it up. "You got better," he replies. When Netto turns his head to face him, he adds, "At netbattling, I mean."

"I did huh? Bet I could still kick your ass." Netto gives a cheeky grin.

"Wanna bet?"

"As if you'd beat me. I know you haven't even fought anyone in a while."

"Not like you have either. That evens out the playing field."

Some long lost flame inside them has been lit up. Enzan doesn't know how long they have stopped battling. Three years? Four? Perhaps they stopped battling when they stopped talking to each other. But that's funny. Enzan didn't think they could influence each other that much. But then, he should have seen it coming, really.

Netto stands up with a challenging smirk, and damn. Enzan missed this. He lets himself be pulled up to his feet, and he immediately rises up to meet Netto's challenge. It's been so long. Too long.

They clasp hands. "Then let's have a fair fight."

It takes four long hours, but it's the most exhilarating four hours of his life. It _has_ been a while, after all. They had to prepare their best chips, and Netto had to return to his own apartment to find the best he has. They had to find the nearest arcade, because Enzan's apartment is too small to build a proper battle area in – and both Operators refuse to use the net or Enzan's fancy security system as a battlefield. But the wait was worth it, and for the first time in _years_, Enzan isn't thinking about contracts or family deaths, or even the media.

It's a refreshing distraction.

A crowd has formed around them sometime while they're battling, and neither of them is surprised. They don't even notice until after they finish their duel. Enzan checks himself and Netto, and it's hard to believe that they're only twenty-five and twenty-four years old. Sometimes he feels like he's too old because of all he has experienced at an early age, but he and Netto are still young. There's still so much life for them to live. And yet, he feels like he's seen everything already.

It's a sad thought.

"Good match," he says after the battle.

"I think I lost my touch back there, actually."

"Hm, Blues and I haven't battled in a while either."

They laugh, and Enzan appreciates how easy it is for Netto to laugh like that. When they leave the arcade, Enzan finds himself holding Netto's hand as they walk back. It's an easy search. His motions are fluid and automatic, as if it's natural for him to take the young man's hand. It's comforting.

It's like the warm blanket he always held onto in his childhood.

"Enzan."

"What?"

"Do you remember when I'd invite you and Laika to eat dinner with my family?" Netto tilts his head. His voice is softer than usual, as were his eyes. Enzan doesn't reply in words; he nods silently. Of course he remembers. He's been to the Hikari household thousands of times. "My mom would tell you how much she cares for all three of us when we get into dangerous missions. She meant that, you know."

Enzan shrugs. He knew _that_. He never once doubted Netto's mother, or anyone of the Hikari family for that matter. "You _do_ have the perfect family," he says, more spitefully than he means to.

Netto snorts. "You're only saying that 'cause you think your family has it worse. I mean, if you think about it, I'm carrying the electronic ghost of my dead twin brother in my pocket every day. It's really morbid if you think about it."

Enzan rolls his eyes. "And yet you can crack jokes about it. You're really strong, you know that?"

"You taught me how to be." Netto smiles at him.

Enzan swears that smile will kill him one day.

They stop walking in front of an empty playground, the one Netto often tells Enzan where the pigeons like to flock to in the afternoon. They sit down on one of the benches. The night air is cool; it breezes by them sharply, and Enzan shivers a little against it.

They remain holding hands.

"He really did love you, you know," Netto says. "I've seen him. I've felt his wrath. Hell, I've even been threatened by him!" (Enzan flinches at the memory. Why is it so easy for Netto to talk about it?) "I know he loved you."

Enzan doesn't reply at first.

It's not like he doubts it. It's not like he didn't love his father, or that his father didn't love him back. It's just… He grits his teeth. He really shouldn't have opened the family topic. It's too close to what he doesn't want to think about, and he _really _doesn't want to think at all if he could. "I _know_ that."

Netto smiles. "You love him too. You're just being stubborn."

"What would you know?" Enzan snaps. His posture is rigid, and his jaw set tight. But his expression could only be described as weary. Tired. When Netto stiffens from the sudden outburst, Enzan's eyes widen slightly. He gives his hand a small squeeze and looks away. "Sorry."

Netto blinks. "It's okay. I know you're not yourself lately." He gives a small smile, one that's probably meant to be encouraging, but Enzan's not entirely sure. "But I also know you'll find your closure."

Closure. Right.

It's been so long since he has lived with his emotions for his father. Feelings of resentment, slowly turning to distrust, slowly turning to apathy. Feelings of begrudging and understanding, pride, pressure, expectations. Anger. Loss. Regret. Fear.

Fear?

What is he afraid of? He's not afraid of his father. He's afraid of…

"Enzan?"

Closure? Is he afraid of closure?

Or is he afraid of _not_ moving on?

"What if I don't?" he eventually asks in a soft voice. He's thinking too much again. Damn it. "What if I harbor all these feelings, this anger and regret, all to myself? He's dead, Netto. We never spoke to each other since he got sick, and he didn't say goodbye before he died." His hands tremble slightly. Enzan isn't even going to convince himself anymore that it's because of the cold. "I don't – I'm not even sure if… if he's okay with how I run IPC now. I haven't even showed him how well the company is, and we didn't really _fight_ before he got sick, but we weren't on good terms. He never wanted us to be like this, and I respected that, and now he's dead, and we're doing this behind his back, and… and..!"

He is engulfed in a warm embrace, strong arms taking him and giving him support. Netto's chest is warm, and comforting, and Enzan doesn't want to move away from it. It takes a while before he notices that he's crying on his friend's shoulder.

It's (embarrassing? comforting?) relieving to be held like this. They stay like that in silence. Enzan doesn't know how long, but he pulls away when the tears stop flowing and the sobs stop racking his body.

"It'll be alright. I know I can't be much help right now, and I haven't really been doing a good job at comforting you. I think I've only been distracting you, and Rockman said that wasn't good." Netto rubs his back soothingly with gentle hands. "This is something you have to sort out on your own, but I'll support you all the way, Enzan. You'll be alright."

But how long will that take? How long will he be_ not_ alright?

"You sound so sure."

"Of course!" Netto grins. "I know you'll come around."

Enzan arches an eyebrow. Netto has too much faith in him. "And what makes you say that?"

"Because you always do."

He feels a firm squeeze on his hand, and it's only now that he notices his fingers are once again intertwined with the other man's. Enzan blinks. Whether or not he initiated the hand-holding doesn't matter. But the fact that he doesn't pull away makes his heart beat fast. When he looks at Netto, he can only see sincere faith in his eyes.

And maybe it's this exact reason that makes him believe Netto's words. Holding Netto's hand like this, letting himself be supported by the person he wholly trusts the most…

He squeezes the hand back.

It doesn't matter how long - next week, next year, or the next decade. He'll come around.

"Thank you, Netto."

He always does. And Netto will help him through it.

* * *

**A/N**: Longest chapter yet. So, what do you think? There's some angst here, but I hope I didn't write it off as too angsty. Or was it actually lacking in angst?

I tried to edit this chapter out before posting. Is anyone still confused with my experimental writing style? I'm currently experimenting with a writing style that includes stream of consciousness-ish writing, narration, and flashbacks. I added description in the flashbacks this time (as well as in previous chapters) to make it more understandable, as suggested by EnzettoFangirl. Thanks for that, by the way! I appreciate the concrit. At least now you can tell who's telling what. I hope.

Also, I don't know how to make the em-dash appear in ff, or how to differentiate that from the hyphen. If you know how, please tell me.

**_WARNING: RANT AHEAD. _**But it has a purpose, so I'd appreciate it if you read _and_ respond. But if not, oh well. I tried.

_Summary version of rant:_ So basically, I'm looking for specific suggestions to improve my writing style. I also want to know which parts confuse you, if there are any.

_Long version:_

Anyway, _Turn Around_ is a fic that focuses on emotions, thoughts, and different point of views. Hence why each chapter switches back and forth between Enzan(/Blues) and Netto(/Rockman), and why I opted to use a stream of consciousness-like writing style. If you don't know what that is, Wikipedia explains it as _"… __a narrative mode that seeks to portray an individual's point of view by giving the written equivalent of the character's thought processes, either in a loose interior monologue, or in connection to his or her actions.__"_ Wikipedia also describes it as "_…__ the continuous flow of sense‐perceptions, thoughts, feelings, and memories in the human mind or a literary method of representing a blending of mental processes in fictional characters, usually in an unpunctuated or disjointed form of interior monologue.__"_

So in essence, I'm trying to write through Enzan's voice, using his own thought process. We're seeing the story through _his_ eyes, but he doesn't know he has an audience.

I hope that helps you understand my story somewhat. It is not being told by the narrator or author, but by Enzan and Netto (and their respective navis) themselves. I'm using _loads and loads_ of parentheses and dashes to emphasize the stream of consciousness part. 'Cause really, when you think about it, human thought is basically made up of fragments and concepts and intrusions; not completely structured sentences. Devices like parentheses and dashes help with that.

Admittedly though, the abuse of such devices stems from me actually having too much fun writing through the characters' eyes. I'm picturing myself as writing with the characters' voice instead of mine. And whenever they think, there are a lot of intrusions (thus, the parentheses and dash usage). I'm explaining all this in a vain and pretentious attempt to justify my writing style, and to hopefully help you understand my writing better.

This is why I have so many run-on sentences. I know. It's a problem. I'm trying to work around that.

I understand though that this writing style is better understood if you know how the characters think and if you know what's going on. So if you're still confused, do tell. I'll try to lessen my stream of consciousness shit. It'll be easier if you give specific ways of writing the story better.

So. **Concrit**. I seriously need concrit, guys.

**Concrit#1 (Content): **For this chapter, I want to know if I wrote this too confusingly, too angsty, or just alright. Or maybe this chapter is actually _lacking_ in angst? Note that Enzan doesn't hate his father. He's just not sure how to properly deal with his death 'cause he's more of a distant family member than a father. More details in later chapters, of course. But for now, what do you think? For the story as a whole, I want to know if you like the story so far and if there are any other suggestions for improvement.

There's not much action here. I'm telling you now that this is based on introspection and emotion. So if you're looking for action, look somewhere else. I'm thinking of writing a netbattle, but there are no guarantees.

**Concrit#2 (Current Writing Style):** I'm talking about the writing style that I'm using right at the moment of this posting. Now that you've read as far as this chapter and (presumably) read through the pretentious explanations, you should get a sense of how I write here. Does the writing style _work_ for the story, or is it counterproductive in telling the emotions? Is it too dialogue/monologue heavy? Or is it too wordy _in between_ the dialogues? _Do you hate my stream of consciousness shit?_

Note that I'm writing this way because I thought the writing style works _for_ this type of story. If it does, but I just need to tweak a few things here and there, tell me. If I just need to add action or make it more understandable, tell me. If it really doesn't work, you should tell me while we're still ahead.


	5. Small Steps

**Word Count: **4264**  
**

**Note: **Chapter written from Netto's and Rockman's perspective.

* * *

**Small Steps**

* * *

It's not like Netto is insecure or anything.

He knows who he is, and who he isn't. He knows what he can do.

It's just… when you are too used to doing some of the things you do, it almost becomes a part of who you are.

(It comes to the point where if you stopped doing these things, it almost feels like you're not being yourself.)

So, no, Netto isn't insecure. He knows (through _years_ of experience) that it's sometimes better to let things work themselves out. To not do anything drastic, and just be there. Sometimes, he needs to let people work things out on their own. He doesn't have to be a hero all the time. He knows this. It's just...

He's just not used to it, that's all.

* * *

"Rockman, am I a horrible friend?"

The question takes Rockman off guard when he hears it for the first time. "A horrible friend? Where'd you get that from?"

Netto shrugs and leans back in his swivel chair, absently spinning around. He puts his hands behind his head and looks up at the ceiling, lost in thought. Often times, Rockman would associate that look to whenever Netto is coming up with a better algorithm for whatever new program they are working on. But rarely does he ever do that when he's thinking about personal problems.

(Then again, it's not like Netto has a lot of personal problems to deal with in the first place, seeing as how he's so full of _cheer_ all the time.)

"Yeah," Netto says. Aside from the beeping of the computers and the rolling of the chair, the rest of the office is completely silent. "It's been a week since Ijuuin-san died, and Enzan isn't getting any better."

"Well, he _is_ family," Rockman says slowly, looking away. He stops filing the neglected piles of scrap code (Netto likes to keep the codes that don't work in case he draws inspiration from them and revises them) and gives a contemplative look. "I don't think you can get over the death of a family member in just one week. And I don't think you're a horrible friend. The only thing we can do for Enzan is be there for him."

"You're right, I guess." Netto stops spinning his chair and looks at Rockman with a serious look. It's not a rare look on Netto's face, but it's one that doesn't come out so often because he's always smiling and laughing and making the world just a little bit brighter. Rockman immediately notes how much Netto is affected by the situation. He's completely bothered by it, almost to the point where he looks guilty. It's subtle, but Rockman knows just what to look for whenever he's reading Netto.

"It's just… I don't want to be just there, you know?" Netto continues. "I feel kind of useless because I can't do anything other than _be there_."

"You're not useless, Netto-kun. If anything, he's dealing with this a lot better than most people, and he has you to thank for. At least he's not getting worse, right?"

Netto frowns and throws his hands up in the air. "I know. But I've never felt being _not_ useless. We're always doing something for someone, like saving the world, or rescuing princesses, or fighting dark navis, or fixing some aquarium or oven or space station or whatever. It just doesn't feel right that I can't do anything more than just _be_ there when I've done a lot more than that."

He groans, and looks at Rockman in the eyes. "I don't like feeling useless, Rockman. That's just not me."

"Well, not everything can be solved by doing something, Netto-kun. Sometimes, less is more. Don't worry about it. Enzan just needs time," Rockman says. He blinks when Netto doesn't react to his words. Netto keeps furrowing his eyebrows like he's still deep in thought, and it worries Rockman. He knows there's something Netto isn't saying. "There's something else, isn't there?"

"You think so?"

"Call it a brother's instinct."

Netto leans back again, and instead of spinning the chair, he sways it a little from right to left so that his PET is still in view. "He said something about going behind his dad's back. That his dad never really wanted us to be together, and he listened, but then we still got back together anyways even if there was a four-year gap. Okay, so he didn't really go into detail about it, but you get the point."

Netto takes the Frappuccino off the desk and takes a sip from the straw, just to have his hands and lips doing something, and finds himself disappointed that his drink is no longer as cold as it was before. "I don't think they even talked before Ijuuin-san died, and Enzan's probably blaming himself for his death. But you know... I was the one who wanted to be on speaking terms with Enzan again, so it's technically my fault that we're back together. Sort of. Enzan feels guilty for getting back together with me, and he thinks it's one of the reasons his dad died. But really, I'm the one who got us back together. So it's really my fault. I don't know, I think I'm not making sense anymore."

He gives a frustrated sigh and puts his Frappuccino back on the table. "On a different note, I just _know_ Laika will be showing up soon. I don't know what to do when that happens."

Rockman nods. "I get it," he says in that understanding tone of his. It has always soothed away some of Netto's worries in the past, and he's glad that it still does. "But a relationship is two-way. Both parties must be consenting to the relationship in order for it to exist. Enzan was willing to go through with the relationship, so I don't think you should take all the blame."

Then as an afterthought, he adds, "With Laika though, there's probably nothing we can do about that. We'll deal. Somehow."

A different beeping sound emits from the computer and cuts the conversation short. Rockman automatically switches to the computer through the link that connects it to the PET, and addresses the error. Netto puts his hands on the table and pulls the swivel chair in closer to take a look.

"There's something wrong starting from line 756," Rockman says, pointing to the particular part of the code. "Seems like just syntax error though. You forgot a few semicolons, and these should be double equal signs in the conditional statements. Oh! There's something wrong in here too. You put in a bunch of undeclared variables, and you forgot to comment out these lines too."

Netto nods and begins typing on the keyboard again. "Right," he mumbles. He takes another sip of his Frappuccino.

Rockman worriedly looks up at his Operator. He knows Netto can be forgetful a lot of times, and he often messes up when he's coding. But he's never been this careless. His eyes are starting to show signs of dark circles and tight skin, obviously from the lack of sleep. He is more bothered about the subject than he looks.

Netto notices Rockman's worried look, and gives a grin. It's barely forced, but it's an effort. It's the smile that can fool almost anyone to think that he's okay. "You know, I don't think I'll ever survive in the lab without you Rockman."

Rockman returns the smile, but he's obviously not convinced. "You may be a brilliant computer scientist, but you're terrible at syntax."

"Hey! I've got to learn a bunch of programming languages because the whole world won't pick just one universal language," Netto sticks his tongue out cheekily. "It gets confusing, y'know? Especially when you have to work with a hell lot of different developers. I was never good at grammar anyway. One day, I'm gonna make some international programming language that everyone would have to follow."

"Well, at least you didn't procrastinate this time," Rockman says in between chuckles. He finds it odd that Netto isn't procrastinating, but he's not going to complain.

"Work is a welcome distraction. And besides, this project is _tons_ better than the usual stuff they make me do," Netto says as he finishes up the code and compiles the program again. He pushes the swivel chair back a little and looks back at Rockman. He smiles again to appease the concerned look on his navi's face. "Hey, don't look at me like that."

Almost against his will (not really), Rockman goes into mother mode. "Promise me you'll go to bed early this time, Netto. I know you care about Enzan, but you need to look after yourself too. You look like hell."

At this, Netto laughs. It's more sincere and less forceful than his smile, almost as if he really is amused by what Rockman said. "Yes, mom. I'll try," he says. Then his expression becomes more serious. "But, what you said earlier. You really think I'm not really in a relationship with Enzan?"

"What?" Rockman shakes his head. "No! I mean the exact opposite. While I'm not exactly sure what the nature of your relationship is, it does exist. So you can't just say everything is your fault when Enzan jumped into the relationship too. Willingly, might I add." The look Netto gives him makes him pause to collect his thoughts. "I know it sounds bad because it seems like Enzan really does have something to blame himself for, but that's the way I see it. He was willing to be in a relationship with you, whether or not that was against his father's orders. So you can't just take all the blame. And on that note, what are you two anyway?"

Netto takes a long sip of his Frappuccino before answering. He shrugs eventually. "I don't know. Friends, I guess? I mean, we're not exactly rivals anymore. Although I do miss competing with him. And we're not… _lovers_. Not exactly. I mean, yeah, we kissed a few times. But I don't think they really mean anything 'cause we seem to be doing that out of habit than anything else. And we kinda stopped doing that since the time he told me his dad died. I don't know! We're just trying to start over, you know?"

He huffs and takes another long sip. Rockman chuckles. "Besides, is it really a relationship if both parties consent to it?" Netto asks. "I mean, hypothetically, we can both be in a relationship and not know it, right? For example, I can probably see us as lovers. But he probably only sees us as friends. Or whatever. Does that mean we're lovers, or friends? If, hypothetically, we see the relationship in different ways, then what are we then?"

There is a short pause in the conversation. Rockman shrugs, because he honestly doesn't know what to answer. He finally settles on saying, "I think these are the things worth talking to Meiru about," because the pink-haired woman will probably have more to say to this than he.

Netto nods wholeheartedly. "Agreed. Huh, come to think of it, I haven't seen her in a while. I kinda miss her, even though she was a bit annoying when we were kids." He laughs lightly, and Rockman joins in, chuckling.

"You were pretty sarcastic to her back then, too. Especially when she'd walk you to school," Rockman says in between chuckles. Another beeping sound emits from the compuer. Rockman takes a look. "I think the program's ready, Netto-kun. Do you want to test it out with the Mettaurs?"

Netto shakes his head. He puts his nearly empty Frappuccino cup down, stretches his arms, and pulls the swivel chair back closer to the table. "Nah, that'd be boring. I'm kinda itching for a little battle. Wanna go for it, Rockman? She's been waiting for a while to fight you, you know. I could start up a simulation for you guys."

"You mean, we're acting as viruses now?" Rockman gives him an incredulous look, but the smile slowly creeps into his face. The idea of testing out the new weapon himself doesn't sound so bad. "Well, it's been a while since we battled. Enzan's battle sparked something in you, huh?"

"Don't pretend like you didn't miss net battling either, Rockman." Netto gathers his chips and throws Rockman a grin. "C'mon. It'll be fun! She'll give it all she's got."

Rockman shakes his head in amusement. Well, if Netto wants to indulge a little fun… "I never said no, Netto-kun. Alright, let's do it."

His grin grows wider, and Rockman smiles at that. The more Netto lets go of his stress, the better.

* * *

Netto didn't really go to bed early like Rockman asked.

Netto doesn't tell Enzan this, but he's been having bouts of insomnia since Enzan broke down.

(Well, it wasn't technically a break down, according to Enzan. But that's beside the point.)

He isn't sure why he couldn't sleep. All he knows is that it's getting difficult for him.

Maybe it's the bed. The bed in Enzan's guest room is just not as cozy as Netto's bed back at home. Maybe it's the pillow too, or perhaps the entire environment in general. The suburb Enzan lives in is too quiet; he can hear so much white noise because of it.

He's been living in an unfamiliar place for almost week now, and he's still not used to it. It feels so strange, like he's being watched. And it's pretty hard to fall asleep when you think someone's staring at you from behind some bushes or other. Who knows when some mad stalker or burglar might come in.

Virus busting is one thing. Self defense is a whole 'nother piece of cake.

It's not like Netto can't hold out on his own. He knows he can; he's been fighting bad guys and escaping traps since he was a kid. Not to mention how his body got accustomed to fighting during his Crossfusion days. So, Netto isn't worried about some physical threat. He'll hold out. And even if he couldn't (he's been stuck in a science lab for the past three years or so, so his body conditioning should have worsened considerably), he's too stubborn to run away anyway.

He's not a fighter, but he's strong-willed enough to have the spirit of one.

He can face life-and-death missions, ragnaroks, and psycho navis with the affinity for darkness. He can face Forte with Rockman again if he has to. He can face heartbreak; he already has.

But if there's one thing he's afraid of right now, it's that he isn't doing a good job of being a friend to Enzan.

(And also, in the back of his mind, like a small inkling, is the slowly creeping dread of inevitably confronting Laika.)

* * *

_Shuuseki Ijuuin narrows his eyes. "What?" he asks again, quietly staring down at the boy.  
_

_"I said I love him," Netto says with all seriousness, willing all his emotions to get through the older man.  
_

___Shuuseki scoffs._ "Don't joke around, boy." He almost moves past Netto when the brown haired boy stretches his arms out to block his way.  


_"I'm not joking!" Netto exclaims, his voice cracking. He feels angry and desperate because he'll do just about anything to get this man's approval. _Anything._ "You're the one forbidding me to see him!"  
_

_Shuuseki frowns. "And I have every right to do so," he says. He gives Netto a tired look, almost as if he's exhausted with the conversation already. "You're young; you're too easily fooled by romantic feelings. Until you can prove to me that you understand what my son truly needs, I will not allow you to see him."_

_Netto could almost break down."Not even as friends?"  
_

_"Show me that you care about him enough to _be_ his friend."  
_

* * *

It's not like Netto doesn't have faith in Enzan.

He knows that the other man will come around. He always does.

He has always been a strong individual. Like his father. Netto secretly admires them both for that.

No, it is more like Netto is unsure if he's doing a good job of being there for Enzan. If he's being a good enough friend, a good enough supporter.

If he's worth enough that he would have gotten Shuuseki Ijuuin's approval.

* * *

"So, what do you think?" Netto asks Enzan. They are eating out in Moonshine again, because Moonshine café is slowly becoming their secret hiding place. It's a niche in the city that they want to call theirs. Netto personally wouldn't hold it up against Maha Ichiban, but it's a cozy place. It doesn't have a lot of people, and it's closer to the suburbs, which Enzan really likes.

Plus, their banana split is _divine_.

"It's good," Enzan says, with more surprise than Netto expected. From the way Enzan's eyes widen just a little bit, he could tell that even Enzan himself was surprised by how delicious the treat is. Enzan takes another spoonful of the dessert. "Really good."

"I told you," Netto says, his grin wide as ever. He takes another bite himself, relishing the sweetness of the chocolate syrup, the bananas, the toppings, and of course, the ice cream. Outside, the sun is beginning to set, setting off an orange tint in the sky.

Enzan smiles at Netto, and Netto doesn't notice until he's had five more bites of sweet goodness. He looks up at Enzan, and he's not really sure why the other man is smiling at him like that. He hasn't done anything to warrant a smile from him (except, perhaps, introducing a very delicious dessert no man will ever forget), and as far as he remembers, the last time Enzan smiled at him like was after he held him in the park during his breakdown (which, as Enzan stubbornly supplies, isn't technically a breakdown). It's not weird per se, but it's strange enough seeing as the man keeps on brooding over his father.

"What?" he asks, his mouth still full of bananas and ice cream. He narrows his eyes. Then, in a more skeptical tone, he says, "You're not gonna snark about my appetite, are you? Or how I'm finishing off more than my share? I can order more if you want."

Enzan shakes his head, his shoulders shaking from trying to supress a laugh. "No," he says. "It's just… you've been doing a lot for me lately. I appreciate that."

"Well, you've been down lately, and that's understandable." Netto takes a rather large spoonful of ice cream and promptly shoves it into Enzan's mouth, much to the other man's (chagrin) surprise. He earns himself a glare from Enzan, but it looks more cute than menacing with the spoon hanging from his mouth. Netto laughs. "And you haven't been eating this week. At all. Blues has been harping on me about it lately 'cause you don't like my cooking. So eat."

Netto can hear Rockman laughing from the PET. He can just imagine the smirk Blues is most likely wearing.

Enzan swallows the ice cream. He removes the spoon from his mouth and grabs a napkin from the table to wipe off the excess ice cream smudged around from Netto's spoon attack. "Well, can you blame me? You're really horrible at cooking," he says bluntly. He stops Netto's hand before the other could even attempt to launch another ice cream-filled spoon into his mouth.

"Says you," Netto says grumpily. He shrugs Enzan's hand away and takes another bite of ice cream in contempt. "At least you're not getting stuffed with Chinese take-outs all the time. God knows how much Blues has been ranting about it lately. Saying it's unhealthy and all that shit."

Enzan takes another bite himself, then points his spoon at Netto. "But you like Chinese take outs."

"But Blues doesn't. He says it's not good for you or something. And I can't argue with Blues when it comes to you. You know that."

Enzan laughs. "True, true. I'm sorry, but you're still #2 when Blues is in the picture."

The laughter erupting from the PETs makes Netto roll his eyes and cross his arms, saying "I know, I know," in mock-disappointment. He smiles just seconds later though, because he's so _happy_ to see Enzan in a good mood. He really looks like he's doing better, like he's really dealing with his father's death somehow.

Which is a good thing because Netto's not really sure how to be there for Enzan. Him losing Rockman isn't the same as Enzan losing his father. Rockman is a friend and a brother, and Netto can alway finds a way to bring him back from whatever danger he is facing. If Blues is in trouble, Netto knows they can find a way to bring him back too.

But Shuuseki Ijuuin is different, simply because you can't bring the dead back to life. No matter how good of a net battler you are, or how brilliant of a computer scientist you may be… none of that matters when you're facing the dead.

Netto doesn't know what it feels like to lose someone he's not sure he has ever loved. He's been hated before, but they were always from enemies and evil mafia leaders and dark navis. He doesn't know what it feels like to be distant from a family member that's supposed to love you.

He doesn't know, and that's why all he can do is to give support and make Enzan smile from time to time. It's what he's good at.

Enzan sets his spoon down and takes a sip of his coffee. "I'm going back to work tomorrow," he says offhandedly.

Netto raises an eyebrow. "Already?" he asks. Well, that was sudden.

(Though, in hindsight, it was to be expected. Heaven knows Enzan is a certified workaholic.)

"I would have gone earlier this week if you hadn't put me on house arrest," Enzan says dryly. "My vice must be frantic with all the work I'm dumping into his office because of my absence. We're still in the middle of development. I've already missed some important meetings already. Plus, we're trying to seal a deal with Terra Industries."

"It's only been a little over a week. You can still take a longer leave if you want," Netto says. Of course, he's pretty sure it's the exact opposite of what Enzan wants to do right now. Maybe he should enlist Blues' help with this one. Enzan can be pretty stubborn too, after all. "They'll understand."

Enzan sighs. "That's not how the business world works, Netto. You can't stop while you're still at the top of your game. It's a cutthroat world. I can't sacrifice the company's future, and by extension, the future of my employees, for the sake of personal closure… or whatever it is I'm supposed to be dealing with."

He puts his finger on the rim of the cup and absently traces the edge. It's a mannerism of his that Netto always found hard to ignore. Netto's eyes immediately draws their attention to his hand as Enzan continues. "My father is no longer the president, so his death shouldn't affect the future of the company. My personal life should be separate from my career. It's what he always taught me. It's what he would have wanted me to do as well."

Netto snaps his eyes away and looks at Enzan. "You sure? I mean, you look like you're dealing better, sure. But then, I wouldn't know if that's because you really _are_ dealing, or if you're avoiding it altogether." He bites his tongue before he could cheekily say _or maybe you're dealing because you have an awesome lover-friend to cheer you up_. Because that really doesn't seem like the smart thing to say to the person whose father was opposed to such a relationship.

"I'm fine," Enzan says. The fluctuation in his voice says otherwise.

Netto crosses his arms. "You haven't even planned the funeral yet."

Enzan shrugs, not bothering to reply. He looks down. His finger keeps tracing the rim of his cup, now empty of the caffeinated drink he's addicted with. Netto looks away. The action is too distracting.

Enzan keeps quiet, and Netto doesn't really know what to say next. Mostly because he knows that, whatever he says, Enzan will still ignore him and go to work. He's stubborn that way. Aside from forgetting to eat and sleep, Netto's sure Enzan can handle himself. He's looking more and more composed each day.

"Blues?" Netto asks. Blues looks away, and Netto can tell that asking Blues for help would probably yield him nothing.

"I understand your concern, Netto-sama," Blues says. "But Enzan-sama also has duties he must attend to. I would also prefer if he would take things easy for a while, but the company needs him right now."

"Can't the vice president handle them for a while?" Rockman asks. "I mean, it's technically his job to take over when Enzan couldn't."

Enzan raises an eyebrow. "I am perfectly capable of handling things." Netto opens his mouth to speak, but Enzan cuts him off. "IPC can't seal the deal without me, so my presence is mandatory. I have to go."

"Must be tough being the president," Netto mutters. He sighs in defeat. He can never win with Enzan when he's being stubborn. In that way, they're pretty much alike. "Fine. I don't necessarily like it, but it's not like I can change your mind anyway. You're always pushing yourself to your limits, you know that?"

"So do you," Enzan says. He smiles, and takes Netto's hand in his. It feels warm. "Thank you, Netto."

If they were ever lovers, it is at this point that they would have shared a quick, chaste kiss. Netto doesn't even know why he's expecting one (since they're not exactly lovers to begin with), and he can't help but feel a small sting of disappointment when neither of them does anything.

(He almost would have, but he stops himself just before he could lean forward.)

The hand he's holding is warm though, and for the moment, it will do.

* * *

That night, Netto receives a call.

It's from Laika.

* * *

**A/N:** I'm sure some of you think that nothing significant happens in this chapter. Oh but little do you know how important the little things are.

Anyway. Thanks for the comments and reviews, by the way.

I'll be honest. I don't know jack about what IPC does. All I know right now is that they make PETs in the anime, since Enzan seems to have a commercial about that (which was pretty lolworthy in my opinion). I don't remember that context in the games though (was it even mentioned?) since Enzan seems to be more involved with Net Security than the corporate world.

And while I'm being honest now, I will also admit that I don't know much about business or management or whatever. I'm more comfortable writing about Netto's work than Enzan's. So if you see any inconsistencies with how a real CEO would act, do tell me. I have absolutely no idea.

Don't worry EnzettoFangirl, we will see more people in the next chapter. There will suddenly be an influx of characters. I might mention Meiru and friends, or even Laika. And more angst will come, 'cause next chapter is Enzan's chapter of funeral-aversion and other... aversions. Heee.

On a random and unrelated note, this week I've learned that I'm too much of a perfectionist. Hm, I have to learn that I cannot please _everyone_. I think this comes across my writing sometimes. Maybe this is why I don't like writing chapter-ed stories. Huh. Learned something new.


	6. Coming Together

**Word Count: **5564

**Note: **Chapter written from Enzan's perspective.**  
**

* * *

**Coming Together  
**

* * *

"I haven't seen you in two years and _this_ is how you look? You should go to a spa, Enzan. Let moi recommend the best masseuse for you."

It has been roughly two years since he last talked to Yai. She calls him twelve hours after Shuuseki Ijuuin's death made it to the public, and she keeps telling him that she would have called earlier if she wasn't so busy with some joint project she's working on with Meiru, who (and Enzan isn't really surprised to find out) is now a net designer for the new game Gabcom is making.

"She composes piano pieces on her spare time as well," Yai says. "They're really beautiful. Even Netto likes them. You should listen to them sometime. They might help."

Enzan finds his eyes softening at the sound of Yai's bratty voice over the PET. "Maybe when I have the time," he says.

"You _never_ have the time."

"Then I'll make some for her."

Yai snorts. "That'll be the day."

Blues just smiles and shakes his head at the exchange.

Yai says that the best way to understand one's feelings is to write them out. "You can't edit your thoughts," she says. "You don't need to think hard. Just write them out. This is why girls keep diaries, and why we are emotionally more mature than you silly little boys."

(She says it like she's sharing an inside joke with herself, but Enzan doesn't bother to know because Yai has always wanted to take the opportunity to poke fun at him since they met. And Enzan knows those opportunities are few and far in between.)

"Write them out, huh?" Enzan says.

"Don't say it like it's some stupid idea!" Yai pouts and catches herself before she could childishly make a face. Enzan could almost laugh.

He wouldn't call himself a close friend of Yai's, but they're close enough. He's not one to keep in touch with a lot of people in his life, but he listens to Yai whenever she calls simply because he doesn't mind listening to her. She understands him as well as he does her (somewhat), because she knows what it's like to be an important figure in the business world. While Enzan doesn't give much of himself away to her as much as she does to him, he knows that they can both relate to the feeling of having the whole world watching them. Waiting for them to crack.

"You're strong," Yai says softly. "But sometimes I think that's the only part of you that you want other people to see."

"What's wrong with that?"

"It wouldn't hurt to be a little bit more honest, Enzan. You should learn a thing or two from Netto."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"You better!" Yai says, pointing a finger to the screen.

Enzan doesn't say anything, but he admires Yai because she is a lot more honest about herself than he is. And he admires Netto more so for the same reason.

So he buys himself a little black notebook and a pen, and starts writing. He isn't a born writer though. Most of the things he writes are codes, formal letters, speeches, and recommendations. Most of the things he writes are for the company and for other people in general. He doesn't write for himself for the sole purpose of enlightenment, or whatever Yai thinks he'll get.

He writes anyway.

"This is stupid," he tells her two hours later. Yai keeps talking him to doing it though. So Enzan keeps writing. And he builds this habit for the next few days.

Five pages in, and his notebook is full of crossed out words because Enzan doesn't think they sound right. The first time they sounded too formal. The second time, it was like he was trying too hard. The third and fourth time becomes a jumbled mess of words; they are scattered enough that it almost makes Enzan sound sincere, as if he's writing in a stream of consciousness. And that's just strange, because he doesn't really think he's that honest of a person.

(On some nights though, when the world seems too quiet that the white noise filters in through his ears, Enzan writes his words lightly in pencil – light enough so he doesn't have to see the words take a solid form on paper.

And when Enzan goes to sleep, he keeps the notebook right next to him in case he wakes up in tears.)

* * *

The title of an article on the seventh page of _Vector_, issued one week ago in big, bold letters:

**The Rise and Fall of Shuuseki Ijuuin**

Another one, on the third page of _Young Entrepreneur's Magazine, _issued six months prior:

**Vice President To Become New IPC CEO**

And just recently, in obscure websites and places as far as the Undernet, are a myriad of vague pictures of two young men; one with messy brown hair and a cheeky smile, the other with striking blue eyes and a fond expression. Stories crop up around forums and boards; stories that pass on from whispers and the rumor mill. There's a story going on, but whether that story is true or not is still up for debate.

And just like that, history repeats itself.

* * *

_The reporter holds the microphone too close to Enzan's mouth. He can barely evade him even with Kisaki pulling him away. "I don't know," he says with an irritated look as he tries to make his way out of the crowd. There are cameras and recorders and flashing lights everywhere._

"_People have reported seeing you together with Hikari-san last week, supposedly on a date," says a different reporter. She holds out her recorder enthusiastically. "Do you have anything to say about it?"_

_Enzan could almost sigh. "No comment," he says. He resists the urge to rub his temples in front of the cameras._

"_How do you think this scandal will affect the company?" asks one of the more intelligent interviewers. Enzan almost glares at her for asking that question. Since when did going out with Netto become a crime all of a sudden? "Pardon me?"_

_The crowd hushes into silence, giving their rapt attention to the interview. It's the first question Enzan didn't actively avoid thus far. Kisaki glares at him for stopping._

"_Surely you have realized that the rumors will affect the company's image," the interviewer says._

_Enzan frowns. He narrows his eyes. "My personal life is, and will always be, separate from my career. I'd appreciate it if the media would stop making up stories and fuelling the rumors."_

"_Are you implying that the rumors are true, then?"_

_God, how can people be so… "I said nothing of the sort. Stop assuming things."_

* * *

IPC once had an efficient receptionist named Kisaki Midori. Enzan remembers her well because Netto used to flirt with her back when he was still in college. She was never a serious crush, but Netto admired her a lot because she was pretty and nice and really perceptive. She's the one who tells Netto to hide whenever Shuuseki is around, and she's one of the few who can read through Enzan's obscure mood swings.

She's also the one who would often scold Enzan whenever his relationship with Netto went from good to complicated. In many ways, she's like the big sister Enzan never had.

So when she calls him up one night and asks him to meet her in a restaurant, well, he couldn't really say no. When he arrives at the restaurant, he is surprised to find that Kisaki booked them a private room. She motions for him to sit down and order something.

"It's been a while, Kisaki-san," Enzan says as pleasantly as he could as soon as the waiter leaves them.

"Yes it has. And I want to know this: what the fuck have you been doing lately?" she asks in an even tone. She slams a couple of newspaper articles down on the table forcefully. Enzan jumps back in surprise. "I leave this country for a while and now I find you in this mess?"

Enzan sighs. "Good to see you too, Kisaki-san."

"_What happened?_"

"A lot, apparently." Enzan takes the articles from her hands and glances over them. His hands start shaking as his eyes recognize the pictures in front. They are pictures of his dates with Netto, him crying on his shoulder in the middle of the night in a park, him battling Netto in some run-down arcade, him sharing an ice cream in an evasive café.

Blood drains from his face as he processes the information before him. He feels himself growing cold, and all of a sudden his heartbeat is beating faster and louder than the white noise in the room. It's like reliving a nightmare he thought he had forgotten. "Where…. What? How?" He looks up at Kisaki, searching for answers.

Kisaki sighs. "Don't tell me you've holed yourself up in your house all week and didn't read the newspaper."

Enzan curses quietly. _Nailed it._

"I was grieving," Enzan says. "Could you blame me?"

Kisaki's eyes soften as she looks at Enzan. "No, I suppose I couldn't." She sighs. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," Enzan says awkwardly. "Please."

"Alright. I won't touch on that then. But tell me, what are you going to do with these pictures?"

Enzan doesn't answer. Some part of him just wants to run away from all this, to escape from planning a funeral and confronting the media and facing a cheeky, brown-haired friend with whom he has shared kisses with in the middle of winter. He wants to wake up from this nightmare and never face this reality _again_.

It's like fate loves repeating itself.

"You can't keep running away," Kisaki whispers, as if she could read Enzan's mind. Enzan wouldn't be surprised if she could, actually.

"Well what else could I do?" He stares at the pictures blankly, feeling lost all of a sudden. He spent four years avoiding this problem. How could he have been so careless?

Kisaki takes an article from Enzan's hands and tears it apart, ripping it in shreds. The sound rings loudly inside the private booth, and all Enzan could do is follow the frayed papers as they fall back on the table slowly. He looks back up, and Kisaki looks at him in the eyes determinedly. "Face the music."

Enzan swallows hard, his eyes lingering back on the torn paper. He isn't sure if he can.

* * *

Ever since Shuuseki Ijuuin's death made it to the public, Enzan's privacy suddenly disappeared off the face of the Earth.

Though to be fair, he was lucky enough to have avoided this much attention for a _week_, given his social standing. His vice must be doing one heck of a job of covering for him if it took people a week to realize that the former president of IPC passed away and that the current president is hiding away in the suburbs. Enzan thinks that buying that small little apartment in the niche of the city has been his best idea yet.

("Netto," Enzan says last night. "Maybe we shouldn't go around town together for a while."

"Alright," Netto says, nodding. He doesn't smile or start a fight. It bothers Enzan to hear him be nonchalant about it. It's as if something feels off.

He shrugs the feeling away and concentrates on the situation at hand.)

He spreads different articles and pictures on his desk and frowns at the sheer amount he has piled up. Some of them came from forums and boards, others from magazines and newspapers. Some came from whatever tabloids he could find.

The subjects vary from article to article. Some speculate about the death of his father, others about his relationship with one Netto Hikari. Some of the rumors got so out of hand that some of the more idiotic people started saying that Enzan killed his father to get away with gay marriage. Enzan nearly tore the paper up when he read it. Just how far can people twist the truth?

(In hindsight, he shouldn't have taken that limousine ride to his apartment. It's just _begging_ for attention.)

He glances back at his work station and sighs. His desk is a mess. Half of it is filled with gossip material, and the other half is filled with stacks of progress reports he neglected to go over. He could hardly see the glass underneath all these papers.

There is a knock on the door.

"Enzan? Hey, I'm coming in, alright?"

Enzan hurriedly hides all the articles in his desk drawer just as the doors to his office open. Netto enters with a smile that slowly turns less cheery as he notices the trash can behind Enzan, filled with torn up papers and crossed out newspaper articles.

"Is that work related?" Netto asks in a wary voice, his arms crossing in front of him. He eyes the pile of balled-up papers with an eyebrow raised.

"Somewhat," Enzan lies. He hopes that Netto wouldn't go through them; it's pathetic enough that he can't sort through his own feelings on the matter.

Netto shifts his gaze to Enzan, and Enzan can already predict the incoming lecture.

"I thought you said you'd stop working by six? You promised," Netto says. The clock on the computer says it's more than half past eight. "You said you were going to plan the funeral this week."

Enzan keeps silent at the mention of 'funeral', simply because the word sounds so… definite. Finished. Done. Like an irreversible concept. Enzan can easily see his father being buried deep in the ground, but he couldn't make himself agree to the implications of the action: that he can't change death, he can't cheat anyone's death. His father's tomb will always be a tangible reminder of the time he wasted.

(Why is it so hard to let go?)

"I lied," Enzan says. His grip on the drawer tightens considerably.

"You put your father in a cryogenic freezer," Netto points out. "Wouldn't it be cheaper to hold a funeral? It's much more respectful, Enzan."

"Shut up. And I thought I told you not to visit me when I'm working? You're not supposed to be – how'd you get permission to be here anyway?"

"Easy. I just asked Blues. He tweaked the security for me."

Of course. Enzan glares at his navi. "Blues…" he says warningly.

"You _did_ promise Netto-san that you'd be home by now," Blues says in a matter-of-fact voice.

"Mm. Netto-kun has been waiting for you for _hours_," Rockman adds with a hint of teasing. His smile is cheeky and wide. "He kept asking me 'Why isn't Enzan here yet?' or 'When is he coming back?' You should have seen how many times he kept looking at the time."

"I didn't say any of that!" Netto exclaims.

"You sure about that?"

"You want me to shut the PET down?"

They continue to bicker and Enzan smiles in amusement. Of course Netto would be worried. He's _Netto_. Excepting the smiles and encouragement, he's almost as worse as Enzan is when he is worried… and that's saying something. Enzan silently chuckles to himself.

He relaxes his shoulders and releases his grip on the drawer. He's glad for the temporary distraction. "Missed me already?" he asks. He stands up and walks around the table.

Netto glares at him, crossing his arms. "Shut up. I only came to get you because your dinner's getting cold, and you probably forgot _again _that your body necessitates food to live. 'Cause, I don't know. You think you're a robot." He deadpans the last word for added effect.

Blues snorts. "Right," he drawls out.

"He sounds like a clingy girlfriend, doesn't he?" Rockman says. He laughs.

"I'm not even surprised at all anymore," Blues says, smiling in that smug way of his. Enzan almost snorts in amusement.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear any of that that," Netto grumbles. Cue more snorting and chuckles. Netto harrumphs and doesn't even bother to respond after that; instead, he looks at Enzan and says, "So, you gonna stop working yourself to death or what?"

Enzan sighs, leaning a little on the table. "Just let me finish something first. I'll be done in a few minutes."

Unfortunately, Enzan knows that Netto wouldn't buy that. Netto's translation of 'a few minutes' (at least, when the coffee-addicted Enzan says it) is usually some variation of 'let me use up all the caffeine in my body for work'. Which could last from somewhere between thirty minutes to a few hours. Enzan can already see Netto giving him _the look_ – that look of disbelief that Netto was able to perfect after all the bantering he does with him.

He's an honest man, but his sense of humor gets dryer with prolonged exposure to Enzan, it seems. The thought amuses Enzan to no end.

"Really," Enzan says, giving Netto one of his own looks. As much as he loves to banter with Netto, there are just some things that come first. Namely, an unfinished letter and a few progress reports. Netto shouldn't mind.

Netto keeps staring at him for a few more seconds, but he gives up when Enzan doesn't give in. It's a mini-fight of wills (and stubbornness), and Enzan won. "Alright, fine. I'll wait for you in the lobby then," Netto says in resignation. "Don't keep me waiting too long, alright? The security guy keeps staring at me, and it's giving me the creeps."

Rockman says something from the PET and laughs heartily. Enzan couldn't hear the quip, but he imagines it to be amusing.

Netto walks towards to door, but stops just as he was about to turn the knob. "Oh, and Enzan?"

"Yeah?"

There is a slight pause, as if Netto is trying to piece his sentence together in his head. "You don't mind being friends with me, right?"

"What?" Enzan immediately reacts, taken aback by the question. Well. That was... sudden. He arches an eyebrow. Did something happen between them without him knowing or something? He would have thought it was obvious by now that he doesn't have qualms with being friends with Netto. In fact, barring his father's death (which is still kind of a big deal, but at least it's now a _manageable_ big deal) and the pressing issue of the media deforming his and the company's image, he's never been _happier_. "What kind of question is that?"

He looks at Blues, silently asking him if he knows what's going on, but navi just shrugs. Clearly, Netto is being weird again.

Netto doesn't turn around to face Enzan, but he laughs. And it's _weird_. "Nevermind! That was a stupid thing to ask, huh?"

He steps out and closes the door. Enzan turns to Blues again, but he seems just as clueless as he is. As soon as Enzan hears the click of the door, he felt like he's missing something.

* * *

In the end though, Enzan wasn't able to finish all his progress reports and angsting. Blues wouldn't let him stay in the office for more than fifteen minutes, and Enzan isn't really looking forward to a complaining Netto. So he leaves his office and walks towards the elevators exactly fifteen minutes later. He tries not to look like he's rushing his walk.

(It's funny how a single person's presence can change his way of walking.)

"Slow down, Enzan-sama," Blues says in an amused tone of voice. "Netto-san won't disappear that easily."

"Yes, but if I don't hurry up I'll get a hearing from him," Enzan says dryly.

"Of course," Blues says, smirking a little. They both know that's not the only reason, but Enzan wouldn't admit it if he can.

Netto stands up the moment the elevator doors open. He looks at Enzan impatiently. "Took you long enough," he says. "Come on. I'm _hungry_."

Enzan raises an eyebrow. "Didn't you eat already?" he asks as they make their way outside the building. It should be past nine by now. He couldn't imagine Netto skipping dinner this late.

But the look Netto gives him says that the thought never even crossed his mind. "I was waiting for you," Netto says, as if it was obvious. "Anyway. You bailed out on your promise, so you're making it up to me."

Enzan's hand subconsciously moves to take Netto's (because it has become routine for them to just link their hands together like that), but finds his fingers grasping empty space instead. That's… odd. It's almost like Netto's hand is avoiding his. "How so?" he asks instead.

Netto shrugs and puts his hands at the back of his head. He looks up at the night sky. "Hm… Take me out for ice cream?"

Enzan contemplates the pros and cons of doing so. Really, he shouldn't even be walking outside with Netto right now if he doesn't want to aggravate the media. But then he looks back at Netto and sees that stupid smile on his face, and he thinks maybe he could afford just one more date.

"Alright. Want to go to Moonshine, then?"

Netto literally jumps for joy. And yet, Enzan can't help but feel like the other man is forcing out the enthusiasm. It just doesn't seem natural.

It bothers him, but it's apparent that Netto wouldn't talk to him about it if he's putting an effort to actually hide his thoughts and emotions for once.

* * *

"_Enzan, you've grown a lot. But there's still a lot for you to learn," Shuuseki says._

_Enzan frowns. He balls his hands to fists and looks up at his father defiantly. "Like what?" he yells. There are so many emotions raging inside of him that he could hardly control himself. He's almost one step away from truly lashing out. "What's so wrong with me liking someone for a change?"_

"_That's exactly it," Shuuseki says, his voice booming through Enzan's ears. He stares down at his son. "You still need to change. You're not strong enough."_

"_What did you say?" Enzan breathes in and starts counting to ten. He fights the urge to punch the man in front of him._

_Shuuseki puts a hand on Enzan's shoulder. "I'll let you do what you like when I think you're ready."_

* * *

"You don't seem to be looking well, Enzan-sama," says one of the board members. "Must be hard to lose a father at such a young age." He says it with just the slightest twitch of his lips, like a half hidden smirk. A sufficiently veiled condescendence.

Enzan grits his teeth. The least they could do is _try_ to put an effort in masking their holier-than-thou attitude. He's sure that his snarky side would have already thought something along the lines of '_If I had a dollar for every time'_ – if it weren't for the fact that he's already the president of an international business company, and therefore, already filthy stinkin' rich.

At least he has yet to hear someone say that they know what it's like, because fuck if they ever really say that. They don't.

Though, all things considered, returning to the natural order of things (that is, being boss of the company again) isn't as difficult as he assumed it will be. It's almost like an ordinary work day if you take away the sympathy of his workers and the media he has to avoid. If anything, he is even more focused now that he has work to distract himself with. Enzan knows that Blues is conflicted with whether or not he should stop him, so the navi rakes in more than his usual share of the load. He is obviously worried, especially when Enzan starts spacing off.

Well, it's not like Enzan could help it.

The moment he enters his office, he plops down on his chair ungracefully and looks up at the ceiling for a long, long time.

"Maybe you should rest for a while, Enzan-sama. You look tired," Blues says. At least when Blues shares his concern, Enzan knows it's genuine (if annoying at times). "I can always check the progress reports for you."

"I'm fine, Blues."

Blues hums in reply, giving Enzan that look that says he doesn't believe a word of it.

Enzan sighs, sitting up straight to look at his navi. "Okay, tell you what. Whether or not I'm finished with these, I'll be sure to stop working by four. Alright?"

He would have pushed until six, but then he would have _Netto_ breathing down his neck, and Enzan doesn't really want to deal with another stubborn person. As well-intentioned as they are, sometimes Enzan thinks that he is being spoiled too much by Netto and Blues. They may as well run a daycare center with all their fussing.

Blues nods, clearly happy with the proposition. "That's fair. Oh, by the way, you received several emails earlier while you were in the board meeting. Some of them are from your father's colleagues."

Enzan picks up the folder he was supposed to be checking on and grabs a highlighter. "What did they say? If it's not important, then just delete them," he says absent-mindedly, his mind already shifting to 'Efficient Worker' Mode.

"They are asking about the funeral, and also about your well-being," Blues says. Enzan doesn't say anything in response, nor does he move. "There's another email from a small startup company called Scientia. They are asking if IPC would like to sponsor a project they are working on. With more funding, they can digitalize humans and simulate their whole being in the 'Net."

"Digitalize humans?"

"The email isn't very descriptive. Enzan-sama, I don't think it would be a good idea to support this project. The project looks vague at best, and with Scientia being a startup company and all…"

Enzan nods, spinning the highlighter in his hand absentmindedly. "I know. But something smells fishy about this. Can you set up an appointment with them?"

"Will you be going personally, Enzan-sama?"

"Yes."

"Alright, I'll send a reply then. Netto-san also sent you an email."

At this, Enzan tilts his head a little in response. "Why?"

"He says he has something to do, so he might come back late."

"How late?"

"I don't know."

Enzan chews on the end of his highlighter. That's strange. Rockman told him that Netto stopped procrastinating at work. That's why he's always hanging around in Enzan's apartment, and that's why he always comes back to the apartment earlier than Enzan does. There's no reason for Netto to suddenly work overtime. Did something happen in the lab or something? But then again, he's been acting a bit off for the past few days ever since Enzan started working again.

Enzan couldn't exactly pinpoint it, but there really is something off about Netto lately. Or rather, he feels there's something he's been missing for the past few days. And he couldn't help but feel like he should know.

"Enzan-sama?"

Enzan blinks and stops chewing on the highlighter. He looks at Blues and says, "Remind me to grab curry for dinner tonight."

He notices Blues crack a small smile at that. "Yes, Enzan-sama."

* * *

"_What is it, Enzan?" Shuuseki gives him a tired look._

"_Why didn't you visit her?" asks eight-year-old Enzan._

"_Her?"_

"_Mother's grave!" Enzan cries out. He tugs at his father's coat incessantly."It's her death anniversary, isn't it? Why didn't you visit?"_

"_I have a tight schedule today, Enzan. Don't bother me right now."_

"_At least give me a reason!"_

_Shuuseki sighs. Enzan could have sworn his father's eyes shone back there. "Leave me for a while, Enzan. Please."_

* * *

He flips through the channels until it's nine o'clock. At which point, Blues starts harping on him (_again_) about how human beings necessitate food for survival, but Enzan refuses to eat simply because he wants to wait until Netto arrives. He tries contacting Netto once (okay, _three _times, but that's only because it's getting really dark outside and it's a bit worrying) to ask him how late he'll be out, but the other man doesn't answer.

(He admits to himself that it feels silly; it's like he's the housewife waiting for her husband.)

He decides to waste his time with more writing, mainly due to Blues not letting him do anything work-related because he's a good nanny, and also because Yai said it was good to let his emotions out.

She couldn't have been any more correct. (Not that he'll say it to her face.)

This time though, he doesn't write on his journal. This time he writes a letter to his deceased mother.

He hardly knows her, but he starts the letter with something along the lines of _I miss you_.

Enzan doesn't remember his mother, but he knows that he would love her unconditionally if she's still alive. He only saw her in pictures and photographs, and most of what he knows are from what people (i.e. the maids) are willing to tell him. They keep telling him that she's gentle, kind-hearted, and brave. She met his father in the airport as she was catching a flight to Belgium. They hit it off, then she died two years after she gave birth to a son. Her death was primarily because of some severe sickness.

Enzan doesn't know her, but he loves her nonetheless. He wonders what she'll say to him if she's here right now. Would she be disappointed? Happy? Proud?

(He imagines her smiling, kissing him on the forehead and telling him he's been doing a good job.)

His father doesn't talk about her much. He doesn't know why. He never visits her grave or sends flowers. It's almost as if she never existed; just a ghost of a memory and an untold past. Enzan resents his father for it, but he couldn't bear himself to hate him for it either.

(His mother loved him, after all.)

He asks Blues to search the net for any information about his mother, just because he knows so little about her. Sometimes, when he's feeling pessimistic, he thinks it's a psychological thing; he's deluding himself by thinking that knowing more about her would bring them closer. Knowing more about her would bring him to an understanding with his father. What kind of person did he fall in love with?

Most of the time though, he thinks he's doing these things because he's just a little lonely.

Blues comes back with a grim expression, and reluctantly spills everything he found out when Enzan pries him. He talks about the topic cautiously; emphasizing the positive points and downplaying the negative ones. He tells him that his mother was sweet and adventurous, always smiling and laughing. She was beautiful and very young.

She was caught in a web of lies, rumors, and scandals. No one knows how she died, but rumors say it was because of suicide.

Enzan stares at the screen blankly. For the past two decades, he only knew few, choice pieces of information about her, and they all slip through his fingers like sand because everything he has ever known about her was a lie. Or rather, he hardly knew anything about her when he should have.

(Was his father hiding this from him the whole time?)

Blues looks at him worriedly throughout the night, but there was nothing could say to get through Enzan.

That night, Enzan grabs a blanket and cradles the PET to his chest again. He doesn't cry, and he doesn't think. All he could feel is exhaustion and shock.

Two hours pass.

* * *

He charges the PET and sets Blues on Stasis Mode when it got really late. "I promise I'll sleep in a few minutes, okay?" he says. He actually almost goes through with his promise because he's about to fall asleep in front of television when the door suddenly opens ten minutes later.

It is long past midnight by the time Netto walks in. His eyes are weary and tired, and his movements are sluggish as he drags himself inside Enzan's apartment with an annoyed look on his face. Enzan wonders what got the man worked up, but all his thoughts come to a halt when they lock eyes.

(If not for his tired expression, Enzan would have voiced out how he finds it amusing that Netto never rings the doorbell. He just waltzes in like he owns the place, not that Enzan doesn't mind.)

Netto arches an eyebrow and immediately livens up a little. "Have you been awake this whole time?" He checks the time and frowns. "Dude, I know you've had worse nights when you were working, but seriously? What have you been up to?"

Enzan shrugs. "Not work, if that's what you're thinking. Blues wouldn't let me."

"With good reason." Netto heavily plops down on the sofa next to Enzan, letting gravity do its work. "Did you eat?"

"Yes," Enzan lies. He thinks about whether he should tell Netto that he brought curry from Maha Ichiban, but then he would have to reheat it and Netto would be snoring on the sofa before that's done. "Did _you_?"

"Yeah," Netto says with a voice distant, as if his mind is busy with other things. "Sorry Enzan, but I'm tired. Rockman's already in Stasis Mode, but I have to charge the PET. You should sleep too."

Enzan nods. Netto is acting strange, but he'll postpone his questions for another day. "Yeah, you look like you're on the brink of dozing off. Think you can make it to bed?"

Netto yawns in response. "Yeah," he says sleepily. He stands up, and he is about to make his way to his room when Enzan grabs his wrist and stops him.

"Netto," he says from the sofa. "I know this isn't the time, but I'm ready to arrange the funeral. When you wake up, can you take a day off and accompany me?"

Netto turns to Enzan and his eyes widen slightly. "Yeah," he says, smiling a little.

Enzan nods appreciatively. He stands up and captures the other man in an embrace. He doesn't realize he's burying his head in his shoulders until his words come out in a muffled reply. "Thank you, Netto," he breathes out. He means every word of it.

Netto brings his arms up awkwardly and hugs back. "Mhm, sure thing Enzan," he says. Then he abruptly lets go. "Sorry Enzan. I'm_ really_ glad that you're doing better, seriously I am. It's just… is it alright if I go to sleep now?"

Enzan laughs. "Right, of course."

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, I lied. _Next_ chapter is where we get to see Laika and other people. Like, really. I promise.

Well. This was a long chapter. Honestly, this was a big hurdle for me because this was the part where I got _stuck_. I couldn't write for almost three weeks, then when I finally did write something it turned out horrible so I had to rewrite it. But then I couldn't think of how to make it better so it got stuck the way it is. Then, out of the blue, I suddenly had an idea on how to write it while I was rewriting my Math notes. So I really did rewrite most of it. But then I had too many ideas and it all became the jumbled mess you see right before you.

Yeah, it has been one hell of a chapter to write. The angstfest is over now though. Well, kinda. I don't really plan on writing more of Enzan for a while because the chapters tend to be unnecessarily long because he thinks too much. The next time his chapter comes up, he should be back to his normal self. Maybe.

You know, I'm having trouble writing angst recently, which is probably why this chapter turned out the way it did. It's probably not even as angsty as I would have liked it to be, but oh well. This chapter just really hates me for some reason.

I literally wrote and edited and mixed this up in a rush (about two hours of writing and mixing in what I already previously wrote) so it probably looks messy right now. I'll probably edit this some time.

(Who am I kidding? This will probably be as good as it gets. Gah, I need sleep.)


	7. Extra: Premise, by Rockman

**A/N: **Yes, I am still alive. *_shocked*_

So... I apologize for the late update. Real Life (university) has been hectic lately, and I feel like I'm slowly spiraling down to existential depression. Uh, again. Not that it matters to any of you.

Anyway, I haven't finished the next chapter yet. Now before you kill me, I _did_ bring with me two extra chapters to keep you company while I (fight existentialism clouding my head and that rumored introverted intuition-introverted feeling loop I'm stuck in) (drown in academics, studies, and uni in general) try to finish the next chapter. I wrote these two long before I started the prologue of this story, but I think it's still good enough to post.

Multi-chaptered fics stopped being friends with me. Again. -.-

I apologize if our love-hate relationship is becoming an inconvenience to you guys. Expect slower updates now that we broke up and Real Life is starting to flirt with me to death again.

No Enzan or Netto this time. But here, have a Rockman.

**Word Count: **536

**Note: **This is a bonus chapter. It could be 'canon' (part of the story), or it could be considered non-canon. It could go either way, and it's entirely up to you if you want this to be part of the story. If you consider this canon, then note that this was written before the story starts, around one year since Netto and Enzan decided to stop existing in each other's worlds.

And yes, Rockman is venting his anger here. So don't mind him if he sounds OOC to you. You know how protective he is of Netto. (And vice versa.)

If you can, compare the this chapter to the prologue.

* * *

**Premise**

* * *

_From the Time Capsule Super Friendship Collection_

_An Untitled Book of Anecdotes, page 001_

"_Premise"_

_Written by Rockman EXE_

* * *

Before we begin our sad tale, we must first establish that Enzan Ijuuin is a total dick.

Okay, so maybe he's not just a dick. He's a complete utter jerk who doesn't care about anything other than his status: as Net Savior, as Vice President, and as a role model for younger NetOps (though the latter of which seems highly doubtful, because hell if Enzan ever becomes an inspiring role model for young, aspiring kids). He doesn't care for any living human being. Even himself. All he sees is his image, and that's it. That's all he's ever good for.

(Enzan, if you're reading this, I hope you know how much thought I put in my choice of words.)

You see, Enzan Ijuuin is the very definition of a jerk.

He's a conniving, spiteful liar.

Selfish.

Superior.

Handsome.

Little.

Bastard.

Are we still on the right track? Okay, good. So do we agree that Enzan isn't the good guy here?

Good. Because you will have to remember that for the rest of this story. It's a vital fact, an aspect of his nature that is central to everything that these anecdotes will tell you. And no matter how many times he might _seem_ nice, trust me, Enzan is far from it.

Don't be misled by his act. He's someone who can easily turn his back towards you, who can easily change from all smiles to apathetic gestures. He's someone who can't even think for himself, and can't stand on his own two fucking feet.

Even if he tries to charm you with his rare smiles.

Or banter jokes like there's no tomorrow.

Or hold your hand whilst trying to look inconspicuous.

Or _send you flowers_.

No. Just, no. Don't fall for that façade. He's a wolf in sheep's clothing. The moment you hold on, he'll tie you to a post dangling from a cliff, playing with your life as if he was God himself. He'll drain your blood and pretend to lick your wounds, gag your mouth and pretend to kiss you. He'll hold your hand and your wrists will be cut open by the blade hidden under his sleeves. And all the while, he'll say "I love you," and capture you in his embrace. Like it would make any fucking difference.

And it would. Because you won't notice you're being fucked ten times over until that split second you realize that your heart had stopped beating for far too long.

Why does he do it? Simple.

He's a devious.

Hypocritical.

Stuck-up.

Prick.

And yet, no matter how many times people yell, or how many times Enzan kills him repeatedly…

Netto-kun still falls for him.

Every.

Single.

Time.

Enzan is a dick. Period.

Now that we have established this important premise, you are now ready to indulge in this little soap opera drama.

It's a romance of selfishness and sacrifice, of pretension and honesty, of misery and false hope. It's a story about love (or the lack thereof).

It's a story of two misunderstood boys who let themselves be free for one more time, but maybe their granite hearts were deemed too soft by the harsh reality. It's a story of two misunderstood boys who grew up too fast and fell too deep.

And even with such an ugly premise, it's neither their fault.

Maybe.


	8. Extra: Enzan's Side, by Blues

**Word Count: **1029

**Note: **The other bonus chapter. Here, have a Blues.

* * *

**Enzan's Side**

_From the Time Capsule Super Friendship Collection_

_An Untitled Book of Anecdotes, page 002_

"_Enzan's Side"_

_Written by Blues_

* * *

Ah, Rockman tends to be a bit biased these days.

(He also tends to have a dirty mouth when something _really_ aggravates him – and even Netto-san rarely, if ever, hears him curse. So you should know the degree of the situation right now. Rockman's anger and Enzan-sama's actions are not to be treated lightly.)

I disagree with what Rockman said on the first page. It may look like Enzan-sama is truly an asshole, but he is not.

I can assure you this information, firsthand.

The time that we are writing these anecdotes are during the years that neither Enzan-sama nor Netto-san have met each other face to face. Rockman told me that Netto-san, after graduating from University roughly two years ago, is now a bright (albeit lazy – some habits don't die) computer scientist working for SciLabs. And Enzan-sama is now the President of IPC, travelling around the world to make business transactions and whatnot.

The last time they have seen each other was during Netto-san's graduation.

Ah, I am getting ahead of myself. These kinds of information are not important at the moment.

Eh, how do you write these things? Should I just write in a stream of consciousness, with my words and thoughts unedited? Hm… Rockman seems to be a better writer than I am. I am envious.

Ah, right. Getting back on topic.

Enzan-sama is not a jerk, as Rockman had put it.

He may be aloof and selfish sometimes, but he is a good-natured person. I can testify to that. Other people may see him as a cold-hearted person, but that's just his way of building walls around him. In his defense, he scarcely had any relations with actual human beings to begin with. He is still learning.

It's a process.

Having his (or the company's) image stained wasn't the catch that made Enzan-sama do what he did (though that was what it looked like from the outside). What he truly feared was having the people he loved most get hurt because of him. It was rare of him to deem anyone as someone important in his life. That was because he built thick, tall fortresses around him. These walls were impenetrable and indestructible, as Enzan-sama would have liked. Any person would be lucky if they were able to break through.

Or maybe they were just that outstanding. That was what Netto-san was.

As it were, Enzan-sama never wanted Netto-san to get hurt. Though it seemed that the situation was inevitable regardless of what decision Enzan-sama could have made.

You see, Enzan-sama is just too cautious of a person.

He likes pushing people away, because he finds it better to work alone than to have to deal with other people getting in his way. He will only show respect to those who truly deserved it. And that is why Netto-san is, in fact, very fortunate to have received Enzan-sama's praise. It is not that Enzan-sama thinks he is above everyone else. It is just that he sets the bar too high for himself. He sets high standards that he himself must meet, as Vice President – and now President – of IPC.

As a result, he unconsciously expects other people to meet the same standards expected of him.

In retrospect, it was foolish to have a child co-run the company at such an early age. I still believe that it was Enzan-sama's upbringing that led him to become who he is today.

Not that he isn't a good person. He truly is concerned with the welfare of his friends.

I think the problem with Enzan-sama is that he has never been honest with himself.

He doesn't lie. He knows what he wants, and what other people want. He also knows how to get them.

But he doesn't know how to reach out to people.

Enzan-sama is an expert at building walls, and hiding behind them. For him, the idea of reaching out to a person is to pull that someone inside his fortress, and let _his walls_ serve as their protection and sanctuary. Instead of stepping out of the divide, he pulls his loved ones into his sanctuary.

That is just the kind of person Enzan-sama is.

That is one of the few ways he knows how to express himself to others.

I understood this.

Netto-san understood this.

But sadly, Enzan-sama, who had been building walls around himself for all his life, he who understood everything there is about himself, never realized that those who cared about him understood this. He did not realize that he wasn't alone anymore.

Deep down, Enzan-sama is just a confused, scared kid hiding under his bed.

Perhaps, this was the first time he had ever become like this. He never had the chance to become vulnerable, with all the layers and layers of masks he had to put up to cope with what he had to undergo as a child who lost his mother, and as a child who runs a company.

It's not easy, even though he makes it seem that way.

It is not easy to handle all the paperwork and information and net battling and saving the world. It is not easy to not be taken seriously just because he was young. It is not easy having adults fool him because they think he was easy.

It is not easy to learn how to write security programs at two in the morning while other kids had their mothers tuck them in and kiss them goodnight long before then.

Enzan-sama is not superhuman, but he somehow finds the strength to keep going.

Enzan-sama is just like everyone else. He just forgot to take off the layers of masks he put on when he was a kid.

Ah, Rockman is right. I feel better typing this down. I feel that I am more capable of being a better partner for my Operator through these journal-like entries.

Right, going back.

There is only one thing you should keep in mind as you proceed further with this story.

Enzan-sama loved Netto-san. Truly and deeply.

Hikari Netto, if you are reading this then please believe in my words. I know my Operator better than anyone else, and I can assure you that he loved you. (He still does.)

He never lied when he said that.


End file.

Mega Man, Friendship, Romance