Harry Potter 1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1 Harry

I sit in bed staring in the dark. It probably was only a little before dawn. Nights like these I can never sleep straight through. Maybe my conscience doesn't like the idea of me passing out with some person I don't know.

Tonight was crazy, I'll tell you that. Another great party with great drugs and great booze. However, I can't really remember the party itself or who the arm draped over me belonged to. It's actually really sad that I can't remember if the arm's owner is a boy or a girl. It's also really sad that I don't care because to be this twisted, the party had to be pretty great.

I lean over to my night stand and search blindly around the surface for the aspirin bottle. Finding the bottle, I pop two in my mouth and swallow them dry. Sometimes muggle drugs work well enough for those awful hangover, and there's the fact that I can't remember if my person is a muggle or a person of magical powers. They're probably magic, because only wizard potions fuck you up this bad.

I pick up a miscellaneous cigarette and light it. Nothing like smoking away my troubles until my mysterious person wakes up. Curiosity finally takes over when I think about how early it is and I nudged the person lightly. They roll onto to their back and groan. A relieved sigh escapes my mouth. I know this one.

"Couldn't remember who you took home, could you Potter?"

I chuckle lightly. Ash knows me so well. "No no, I just wanted some company."

Ash stretches and yawns. "Bullshit. No decent person would party as hard as we did and get up at this hour. The suns not even out yet. Let me get a smoke?"

I nod and hand the fag in my mouth over to him. We pass it back and forth for awhile before he speaks again.

"You know Harry, you're getting crazier... And not in good way. I was just glad I could get you home safe," Ash tells me quietly.

I stare at him and he stares back. Ash is quite fit but in his own way. He's delicate but can stand on his own without any trouble. His piercing blue eyes scream authority but his dark long lashes and pink lips give him an innocent air. His hair is a caramel brown with neat waves and he has dimples to add to his child like appearance. He knows he looks like a kid with his thin frame and skillful piano hands so he has several piercings. One in his eyebrow, his nose, his bottom lip, and three in each ear. He acts and parties like a badass, but his sweetness is what keeps me centered.

I once thought I was in love with Ash, he was the first guy I had sex with, but he told me I couldn't love anyone until I loved myself. Deep shit, I know. So now we're just friends who occasionally make out when we're drunk but never anything more.

"Harry?" Ash asks, interrupting my thoughts.

"Yeah?"

He takes a puff on the cigarette and raises an eyebrow. "Any comments on what I said?"

I shrug my shoulders. "I don't know Mr. Greyes. Maybe I am getting a little crazy. Maybe I like it like that."

Ash shakes his head and hands me the cigarette. I take a drag while he stands up and slips on his pants and heads toward the door.

"I'm going to shower. Join me?"

I waggle my eyebrows, get out the bed and follow Ashton. He was always good at changing the subject when it was going nowhere.

Thirty minutes later we're clean and enjoying the comfort of my couch. Right when I'm about to suggest the possibility of breakfast the floo rings. I groan at the thought of talking to anyone other than Ash.

Ash then prods my hip with his toes. "Don't be rude. Answer it."

I roll my eyes, but oblige. Little to my surprise it's Hermione Granger, probably reminding me about some event I never officially agreed to.

"Good morning Harry. Oh is that Ashton?"

"Yes, morning Hermione," he greets cheerfully.

"Morning Ashton. I was hoping I didn't wake anyone, but seems like I didn't." Ashton chuckles and nods.

"Yes yes g'morning Mione. What can I do for you?" I interject.

"Well I know your wild Friday night escapades mess with your memory so I'm here to remind you about tonight's get together at that bar I was telling you about."

"Hmm I don't remember anything about that actually," I admit to her.

"You never do," Ash mutters in the background. I stick out my tongue and he gives me an obscene gesture in return.

"Well yes I was expecting that and that's why I called. I did it early too before you could make new plans," Hermione says with a hint of pride. "So be at the Lucky Wolf by 8. I sent you the coordinates by owl two days ago so go find that. Oh and Ashton feel free to come. See you later!" Hermione then clicks off leaving the house quiet.

"God that Hermione Granger is too bright," I groan. "I really don't want to meet her rich and well established friends."

Ash laughs quietly. "But you're the boy who lived. I studied you in bloody school. That's gotta count for something."

I just shake my head. "Yeah but then they're going to ask, 'So what amazing things does Harry Potter do now?' and I'm going to have nothing to say except that I'm blowing my money and getting drunk every night."

"Are you unhappy about that?"

Sighing I answer, "Ash don't get all philosophical on me. I don't bloody care. It's just a pain that everyone's always expecting something from me. I won a fucking war, isn't my part done?"

"Superman doesn't typically give up his cape."

I laugh and Ash joins in. "Ash you're so corny," I tell him.

"Yeah whatever, let's eat."

It's 7:45 and I'm still not dressed. I lay in the bed in nothing but my pants, playing on Ash's new muggle tablet. Like Hermione, Ash's muggle born so he's always got the newest electronics sent from his parents. His fascination with the toys almost reminds me of Mr. Weasley.

Ash walks in at 7:50 smoking a joint and looking flawless. He straightens out his sleeves and smooths down his hair in the mirror over the dresser before acknowledging me.

"Harry James Potter. We are not going to be late," he waves his hand, wandlessly summoning clothes I picked out earlier, "get dress sir."

I groan loudly and cover my face with a pillow. I feel Ash plop down on the bed next to me. I peek and he hands me the joint. Thankfully, I take a drag and instantly start feeling the effects.

"Damn Ashton what is this? Can't be a part of my stash, It's bloody strong."

"Yeah my friend got me that stuff from Amsterdam. Pretty good right? I'm already smacked. I thought it would take the edge off."

"Well you were damn right," I cough as I exhale while laughing at the same time.

Ash nods in approval and takes the joint from me, taking his own puff. Then suddenly shoves me off the bed. "Get dressed and be ready in five," he demands, getting up and walking out.

I laugh. "not with this hair!" I call after him.

After locating Hermione's coordinates earlier, Ash made me pick out clothes so we wouldn't be rushing later. We ended up picking a tight white v-neck, black fitted jeans, black dragon hide boots, and a leather jacket to go over top. I throw all of this on and check my appearance in the mirror. Five years after Hogwarts, I have changed. No more glasses, I grew a little taller, and the thinness was replaced with muscle. I even have a little five o'clock shadow, but that's mainly due to my laziness. However, my hair refuses to be tamed. I settle with a quick finger comb through my hair and leave the bedroom in search of Ash. As expected he's in the living room, looking very sharp in a light blue button up shirt, dark trousers, and dress shoes. Ash has always had impeccable fashion. Much thanks to him for helping me improve over the years.

"You look hot," he compliments, smoking on the joint. I take it from him and take a couple hits until I feel the tension leave my body.

"Don't I always? Let's just get this over with, eh?"

He nods, takes my arm and we sidearm apparate a block away from the bar. We're in the middle of muggle London and life is bustling around us. Lights flash in the dark night street and we weave our way in between people, following Hermione's directions. Eventually we stop in front of a large pub with neon lights flashing, "The Lucky Wolf." It's windows are black tinted so we can't see inside but I can tell there's a crowd already every time a person exits the main doors and sound drifts out.

I take a breath. "Thanks for coming Ash."

"Don't mention it. It's been awhile since I've seen Mione."

"Well let's do this," I say walking towards the door but Ash grabs my arm. He laughs quietly and waves his hand. An aroma of flowers surrounds us.

"We smelt like straight potheads," he chuckles. "Just a quick freshening charm to do the trick."

I laugh too, still feeling the effects of the weed. "Potter the Pothead. Great Prophet headline, eh?"

Ash just shakes his hand walks inside with me at his heels. As expected it's crowded and the noise is almost deafening. I can tell this is a classy place, though. The tables are covered in red cloth, there are flat screen T.V.'s all around the bar. The walls are brick and the floors are dark hardwood. Girls in cute black dresses go around serving people and not to mention the lighting is low and sensuous. It all yells class and a good time.

After straining to see over the crowd I eventually spot Hermione in a large booth with a group of familiar people and pull Ashton in that direction. We finally make it and Hermione jumps up, choking me in a hug.

"Oh Harry you came!" she squeals.

I laugh, "Mione of course I would come."

"Only because I forced him," Ash mutters, making Hermione laugh.

She releases me and looks me over. Hermione herself looks very good in a black bodycon dress and red heels, with her hair in a messy bun. As she moves to hug Ash, I'm embraced in a red headed bear hug. Who would've thought Ron could've gotten any taller.

"It's been a minute, mate! Where've you been? I've missed you Harry," Ron says in one breath, smiling broadly.

"Yeah mate I've missed you too. It's a tad bit hard getting time with the well acclaimed auror Weasley," I joke and avoiding the real question.

Ron beams at me and drags me over so that Hermione can introduce me to everyone.

"Hey everyone, this is Harry and Ashton. Harry you already know Ginny, Neville, Luna, Seamus, Dean, Draco, and then there's..."

But I don't hear anything after Hermione says Draco. Draco Malfoy? He was always a prat, so since when has Hermione been friends with him? I don't remember her ever mentioning him. Why would they even consider each other 'friends'? Not to mention that he looks great. His hair is lose and not gelled like it usually was in our school days. I wonder if it's as soft as it looks. Then his face looks happy and relaxed, not like the war days when we were all hanging in between life and death, it was almost glowing. His grey eyes almost seems blue and his jean shirt makes him look even more laid back. Was this new Malfoy the reason why him and Hermione were able to become friends?

"Harry stop staring, let's sit," Ash whispers. I snap out of my trance but can't help staring at Malfoy. His air draws me in. Somehow I end up sitting in between Ash and Malfoy while Ron and Hermione go order another round of drinks. My nerves start to return when he turns to me.

"So, Potter long time no see," Malfoy says coolly.

"Yeah Harry it's been so long, mate!" Seamus chimes in.

"I hope the whackspurts haven't been giving you any trouble," Luna adds.

"We've missed you," Neville tells me.

"It been awhile since you've visited the burrow. This Ash guy hasn't been the one keeping you away, huh?" Ginny jokes.

More hello's and we've missed you's and where have you been's are thrown into the conversation, leaving me at a lost for words.

Ash just laughs easily, "Harry likes to stay holed up in his apartment all the time. I'm the reason why he occasionally leaves the house."

Dean raises an eyebrow. "So Ash, are you the boyfriend or something."

I blush and laugh awkwardly while Ash smiles and shakes his head.

"We're just friends," I tell everyone.

"With benefits," Ron adds slyly as he and Hermione return carrying lagers for everyone. I instantly gulp down a third of mine.

Ash tries to explains, "no no no. Not anymore at least." Oohs fill the table.

"Enough enough," Hermione says trying to calm the table down and take the attention from me. "Harry did you meet Nathan? We work together at St. Mungos. Then there's Rose and Karina from the ministry. Did you all get acquainted?"

Nathan, a dark handsome man, shakes my hand. Rose then says hi. She's a small girl with wispy red hair and an air that reminds me of Luna. Karina gives me a stiff nod. Her green grey eyes pierce through me and stand out starkly against her tan skin. She has cropped black hair and a strong jawline. She's interesting to look at, but she's beautiful and I instantly like her.

"So Harry Potter what do you do know that you're not saving the world?" Nathan asks. I instantly cringe at the question, dreading having to answer with nothing.

"Nothing you would imagine. It would've been all in the Prophet if he had been doing anything. And I think the world's savior deserves a long vacation, eh?" Karina interjects. I instantly love her even more.

"I would imagine doing absolutely nothing would be boring though," Malfoy says.

"I'd call it peaceful," I tell him and the whole table, while nursing my beer.

"Well I hear you're quite the party er, Harry," Ginny mentions slyly. Why? Was she trying to make things extra awkward for me? I couldn't tell you. Maybe shes still upset about our tragic break up after the war. We had dated for a year but I was too unstable and confused for a real relationship. I couldn't keep being the golden boy. I had to break free.

"Oh enough about Harry for Merlin's sake," Ron whines. "Neville tell us about that new potion you guys are working on."

The conversation instantly turns to work and everyone's projects and achievements. Ron and Karina are well known aurors, having the highest amount of arrest in their department. Nathan, Luna, Malfoy and Hermione all work at Mungos in the emergency room and are saving lives everyday. I guess that's where Hermione and Draco became friends. Rose works in the department of magical creatures which fits her character and she's writing a book on the care of magical creatures on the level of a Hogwarts textbook. Neville is still dealing with herbology but now deals with potions to create new medicines and remedies which is surprising, knowing his past experience with potions. He says it's hard but he enjoys it. Seamus and Dean own a booming quidditch clinic and equipment store. Ginny is on a break from touring with the Holly Harpies and enjoying her last week before she goes back to pro quidditch training. Ash even talks about his potential teaching opportunity at Hogwarts which I didn't even know about.

"Ash are you serious?" I ask after he shares the news.

"Yeah I was going to tell you last night but you were just too crazy and out of it. I thought now was as good as ever," he tells me.

I nod and let the conversation flow over me as I think about the news. If Ash becomes a teacher, he'll have to live on campus and that'll be the end of our late nights and making sure I get home safe. The end of Harry and Ash. Soon I excuse myself from the table. I weave my way through herds of people until I reach the front doors and am able to breath in the crisp night air. Leaning on the side of the brick building, I gaze at the sky. Everyone is changing, their lives going somewhere and I'm just stuck. I'm stuck and I don't know why or how I can get out. I reach for a cigarette and light one to calm my nerves, but the smoke doesn't ease my feelings. Ginny once told me while we were dating and I was having a panic attack, that I should close my eyes and try to focus on evening my breaths but right now I just can't. My hand wanders into my pocket and play with the candy like pills with the letter e on them. How great would it be to just get away right now. This night doesn't have to go to waste.

"Alright there Potter?"

My eyes fly open to see Malfoy standing next to me.

"Just peachy. I was only getting some air," I assure him.

It's quiet for a minute, then he says, " I didn't know you smoked."

A bitter laugh escapes from within. "there's a lot you don't know about me, Malfoy."

Awkward silence fills the space between us and the he asks, "can I get a smoke?"

I just nod and hand him the pack. A long and elegant finger picks out one individual cigarette and I light it for him. He leans back and closes his own eyes, enjoying the smoke. I take this opportunity to observe him. His pale lips fit perfectly around the bud as his hair falls gently in his face, looking silver in the street light. His smooth throat makes my throat dry as I watch him swallow. He doesn't cough so I can tell he's done this quite a few time before to smoke so effortlessly. Right now, Draco Malfoy is beautiful.

"Malfoy do you want to go somewhere with me?"

Malfoy opens his eyes slowly and search my own eyes for a long time.

"Yeah sure," he says coolly.

**I can't help my grin and say, "Great."**


	2. Chapter 2

_**Didn't mention this before but this is going to change between Draco's and Harry's point of view. Don't worry though I'll label all changes at the top of each chapter.**_

Chapter 2 Draco

Working midnight shifts or 48 hours shifts brings you close to a person. Hermione and I weren't the best of friends at first, there was so much tension between us that we could've given the stick up Snape's ass a run for its money. But they say time heals all and we were two very changed people after the war. We were adults now. After a while we found common ground, we supported each other through the tough times in the hospital and from there built a strong friendship. I became one of Hermione's confidants and because of that, I knew how distant Potter had became over these years. It was something that greatly concerned Hermione and I had to admit, I was a little nosey when it came to Harry Potter. I've always been.

All in all I didn't expect Potter to show up tonight. I remember Hermione's exact words.

"He's probably getting shitfaced right this very moment and going to be knocked out for two bloody days," she said while we grabbed a quick coffee before our next shift.

Now I had ditched Hermione's get together and stood next to Potter in front of a looming warehouse. The bass from the music shook the whole building and even vibrated the ground I was standing on.

Potter flashed me a large smile. Merlin had that boy grown. He was stunning now. The skinny boy from Hogwarts was merely a ghost of the rugged, sexy man who stood next to me. His eyes glinted with mischief. It both thrilled and scared me.

"Ever been to a club like this?" Potter questioned.

I shake my head. "Can't say that I have."

"I'll tell you now, it's nothing like you've experienced before. Some basic rules before we go in. Don't drink anything that you didn't order directly from the bar or that I give you, don't take any drugs from anyone except me, and don't leave with anyone. The first go around, danger is hard to avoid. I would know," the last part being more of a comment to himself. I'm suddenly nervous but Potter begins to walk where a bouncer waits and I follow. The man stands in front of a plain brick wall and I look around to see no type of entrances anywhere. Only large windows provide an exit for the upper stories.

"Oy is that Potter I see? Back again already?" The burly bouncer asks.

Harry laughs lightly, "So I was here last night Christo?"

"You bet you were. Ashton was having a hard time getting you home last night. You must've taken some of that new drug they're passing around. You're one risky dude Potter. Your mate is bound to have a good time with you."

"Right you are Christo."

Christo laughs whole heartedly before pulling out a wand.

"Magic?" I whisper to myself, but apparently Potter hears me and nods. The man taps the wall behind him like one would do before entering diagon alley and the bricks begin to disappear.

"Enjoy," he says as we step over the threshold.

Music immediately engulfs us and shake me to the core. Neon strobe lights flash sporadically around accompanied with magical fireworks. The main floor is filled with hundreds of moving bodies dancing to the beat. Lights shine on all types of magical beings. Witches, wizards, vampires, werewolves, fairies, half giants, and even veelas slink around the dance floor. I look up to a ceiling that has to be at least four stories up. Ramps go from place to place but I don't see any railings. Magic safety precautions must've been taken to prevent people from falling. Then there are elevated podiums with half naked dancers, both females and males, gyrating to the fast beat. I'm taken back by such the change in scenery.

"It's great isn't it," Harry asks in adoration. I look at him and see how much more comfortable he is now than he was at The Lucky Wolf. Ginny was right about him being a partier. "Come on, let's start out with some drinks." Harry starts to walk into the crowd, but then stops and takes my hand. "Don't want you getting lost."

By the time we make it through the crowd and find the bar, we are completely covered in sweat and fire glitter from the fireworks. Potter and I sit at the only two empty bar stools. We're squeezed in between a werewolf and a witch couple making out and a very large wizard.

The bartender slides over to us when she sees us sit down.

"Oh you're the fit lad from last night aren't you. Harry Potter right?" The women asks. She's pretty cute. Her purple curls nearly brush her shoulders and match her violet eyes. She has glittery eyeshadow and a dimpled smiled. Her pointed ears make me suspect she has fairy in her.

Potter shakes his head, "nah that wasn't me. Glad to know you think I'm fit, though," he says flashing a breathtaking smile. Merlin he is hot.

"Oh definitely. Those green eyes are gorgeous, sweetie. Now that I think about it, his eyes had a dangerous look to them. The guy last night had to be mental," the bartender tells Potter while laughing. "You look much too sweet for that," she says winking. "What can I get you guys?"

Potter looks at me then I guess he realizes I have no clue what is even on the menu, so he tells her, "two rainbow shots and two exploding purps to match your pretty hair."

The bartender smiles sweetly. If we were in a different place I would think this girl was the most innocent and adorable thing ever. "You're a doll for noticing. I'll get those right out for you." She then pulls out her wand and gets to work behind the bar.

"Such the sweet talker you are, Potter. And it seems like you've got quite the reputation here.

Potter laughs lightly. "Yeah that bartender is really cute isn't she? I'm thinking about taking her home if you don't mind."

"Why would I mind?" I ask out of genuine confusion.

"Well you might be interested in her too. I wouldn't want to cock block you."

I laugh this time. "Merlin Potter, I'm gay so no worries," I tell him.

Potter nods his head, "good to know you like cock. Me too."

This makes me laugh even harder and I realize how light I feel.

"Potter what's going in, I feel weird. I didn't take anything like you said."

"It's the fireworks glitter. It's supposed to relax you. That's what makes our club different," the bartender says now with our drinks. She's carrying two shot glasses with liquid that's rapidly changing colour and two other classes with bubbling purple liquid that's aflame on top. The magic here is so unique and new, I practically feel like a muggle.

"Yes that is right. You get high as soon as you walk in. Thank you?" Potter asks.

"Just call me Plum."

"Alright, Plum can you tell me a little more about that fit guy from last night. He sounds pretty interesting."

Plum leans on the bar exposing quite a bit of cleavage. "Merlin that guy knew how to have a good time. He was letting any and everyone take body shots on him. Then he was buying drinks for people left and right. He left me a pretty generous tip too. He probably took the smiley drug. It's new and it makes you have the best time ever but you go completely mental. I've taken it only once and I woke up the next day in bed with four other guys and couldn't remember bullocks."

Potter shakes his head as if processing this.

"I think you might know what I'm talking about," Plum asks.

Potter just smiles. "Yeah, maybe. One last thing Plum. What-"

"My shift ends at one," Plum says with a wink before tending to her other customers.

Potter sits next to me cheesing all hard. "Great girl isn't she?"

"Yeah. Pretty cute," I answer.

He takes his shot and hands me mine. "To Plum!"

We down our rainbow shots and drink our flaming purps. I feel so calm but alive, like there's a fire inside of me. I watch the crowd of dancers and feel drawn. Everyone is so intimate and alive, it exhilarating.

"Potter, let's dance."

He doesn't even hesitate, jumping up, taking off his jacket, and dragging me to the dance floor. The mob instantly sucks us in and we're surrounded by people of all kind. Their bodies push grind against ours and push us together. Potter wraps his arms around my waist and I put my own around his neck. I have a couple inches on Potter but we're comfortable. We just fit. He grinds against my body, and I against his. As each song gets fast, more glitter falls and our bodies move so close there isn't an inch between us. Sweat covers both of us and all I can focus on is Potter breathing hard against my neck and his hips pressing against mine. His hands begin to slip lower until they're gripping my ass and I'm running my very own fingers through his damp hair. It feels like we're like this forever, hands groping each other, moving with the crowd, being taken under by the drugs. I look down at Potter to see him gazing intensely at me.

"Has anyone ever told you that you're beautiful?" He asks quietly but in can hear him over the music.

Shaking my head I say, "I can't say that anyone has."

"Well you're beautiful."

His kind words and sensuous tone sends a blush to my cheek and it doesn't help that I've been hard for the longest. I'm drawn in and somehow we end up kissing. Potter's mouth is soft and his tongue is skilled. I feel like I'm drowning in him and like my body is on fire. His kisses travel down my jaw and neck. I can't breath, I can't think, all I know is I want more. Potter grabs my cock through my pants and I gasp, thrusting into his hand. He takes my mouth with own again and practically humps my legs. Suddenly he pulls away and I'm gasping for air. Potter goes into his pocket and takes out two tiny pills.

"Take them with me, Draco."

I shudder at the way my name sounds coming from his lips but I'm hesitant to take the drug.

"I've never taken them before," I admit.

Potter cups my face as if he were going to kiss me again. Instead he whispers on my lips, "don't worry. I'll be here with you."

There's no reason to say no. I'm already high and Potter's here so I'll be fine. I nod and Potter smiles sweetly but I missed the dangerous glint in his eyes. Before I know it, he's placing a pill on my tongue and my mind starts slipping away from me.

**"It's time for fun," I hear Harry say.**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3 Harry

"Ping. Ping ping. Woohoo! Ping. Awww. Game over," says an automated voice.

I hear a girls voice giggle. "This game is tricky," she says.

I roll over and squint at the person in my bed.

"Plum?" I ask.

She looks up from the tablet and starts stuttering, "oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you! And I didn't mean to grab one of your shirts, I just didn't want to be walking around your house completely naked. And I didn't mean to just start playing with your game but I was bored and it looked really cool. I'm so sorry. There might be some pictures on there too. I'm sorry," she says in one breath.

I sit up and groan. I have a killer headache.

"Do you need a hangover potion? I usually carry some in my purse. I'm sorry for waking you."

I just shake my head, "potion. Now."

"Right right, um," she scrambles from the bed and goes through a pile of clothes until she finds a vial. As soon as she hands it to me I take it straight to head, shivering as the magic courses through my body. A brief feeling of nausea goes through me but I instantly feel better.

"Thanks Plum," I say.

"Please call me Amethyst, Amy for short. Plum is just my club name. Easy to remember and place a name to face when you're leaving a tip."

"Ok, Amy. Nice choice in shirt." She looks down at her white Arctic Monkeys shirt and smiles while crossing her arms over her clearly visible breasts. It's pretty big on her small frame and I laugh. "You're really cute."

"I'm 20 for Merlin's sake. I'm a bloody adult now," she complains.

Then I hear a groan. How did I not notice the rather long and warm body on my other side.

"Potter?" Malfoy whines. He looks amazing with his bed head and innocent grey eyes. That's when I hear the pop of apparition.

"Harry Potter!" I recognize as Ash's angry call.

"Shit shit shit," I whisper to myself as I jump out of bed. I quickly wandlessly summon a pair of boxers that happen to have flying brooms on them. I run into the living room before Ash can see my company in my room.

"Oh morning Ash," I greet timidly.

Ash's eyes glint with anger and he steps right up to me. "How date you just ditch us last night. You didn't even say goodbye. Do you know how that made Hermione feel? And then I was stuck alone with people I hardly knew. I bet you went to the warehouse last night didn't you?"

"Ash, um, I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking straight-"

"You went didn't you? Let me see your room."

I laugh nervously and try to hold him but he snatches away from me and marches to my room. I'm right on his heels when he slams my door open. Draco laying in my bed, rubbing his eyes and drinking one of Amy's vials.

"That's my tablet," Ash says stoically. Amy scrambles out of the bed and hands it to him.

Ash gives her a small smile, "thanks. Harry let me speak to you outside real quick."

I blow a frustrated puff of air. "Actually Ash I just woke up, I'm trying to get my bloody shit together and you just walk in here like you own the place ready to lecture me about my friends and my life."

"And you know why I do that Harry? Because you don't give a fuck about yourself and you only want to drown your sorrows and issues in alcohol and drugs and quick fucks. I'm sick of just watching you ruin your life and not saying anything," Ash says in a strained voice. I can tell he's trying not to yell. I laugh at the thought of Ashton Greyes losing control.

"You know what Ash, you're such a fucking hypocrite." I turn to Malfoy and Amy. "You guys want to know where I met this guy? In a bloody bathroom on his knees looking like the little whore he is," I say bitterly, turning back to Ash. "Now look at him. Mr. Big shot getting jobs at prestigious schools, forgetting where he started. You think you have the right to tell me what to do? Because guess what Ash. You can't say shit to me!" I shout at him.

"Is that what you're upset about? The fucking job? That's why you left last night? Harry get over yourself. The world doesn't revolve around you. I'm not going to keep slumming around and holding myself back because you don't want to grow up. I want to help you but I'm not going to hold myself back. I'm not going to do it," he says shaking his head.

Sadness and anger fills me and I'm trembling. "No ones forcing you to. I'm not stopping you from living your life and I ask that you do the same."

Ash laughs. "You call this a life Harry?"

I can't take it anymore. My breaths are ragged and my vision is blurring, from tears or anger I don't know. "Get out!" I scream. I turn to Malfoy and Amy and pick up the pile of clothes, throwing it at them. "Get out! All of you leave my house now!" I roar.

"Harry you're being bloody unnecessary," Ash yells at me. I turn back around to him and shove him hard.

"You bastard, don't act like you care! Leave!"

Ash stares at me for a minute, then apparates out. I hear a second pop and turn to see Amy gone. I suddenly feel really awful. I brought her and Malfoy into this and Ash was probably hurting as bad as me. Or maybe he wasn't. Maybe he really didn't care about me. I hold my head in my hands and try not to cry.

"Potter." I turn to see a confused Malfoy staring at me. His clothes are ruffled and his hair is sticking up but other than that he looks flawless.

"Malfoy I-" I want to ask him to stay. To forget my self in his body and have a good time. But that's exactly what Ash says I do. I ignore my issues by having meaningless sex and losing myself in alcohol and drugs. Why do I care though? This is who I am. Why should I let him think he's better than me and try to change me.

"Potter I should probably go ri-"

I step closer to him. "Please don't. I don't want to be alone right now. Please." I wait for Malfoy to decide. Then he closes the space between us.

"I can't really remember last night. Can you help me?" He says quietly.

I grab his belt loops and pull him against me. "I can show you. And more," I add slyly. His eyes search mine and then he leans in to kiss me. It's soft and hesitant at first and I don't rush him, afraid I'll scare him away.

He pulls apart from my lips and asks, "Potter what's going on with you?"

I shake my head. "Don't ask me that. I don't want that right now." I lean in close to him and whisper, "don't do this to me please."

He gives in and kisses me again. This time with more power behind it. Running his fingers through my hair, Malfoy pulls the two of us to the bed. I quickly pull off his shirt, exposing his lean chest, something I vaguely remember happening last night. He shimmies out of his pants so that we're both in our underwear, rubbing against each other. I slip my hand into his pants and massage his cock. A loud moan escapes his mouth. Our breaths are quick and I feel a tear drip down my cheek. Malfoy's eyes fall open when it splashes on his own face. We break apart and Malfoy wipes my cheek. It's so gentle and I'm so hurt and confused, I break down. I roll off of Malfoy and cover my face. The tears come hot, fast, and it's hard to contain the sobs that threaten to rip through my body. I look on my night stand and with shaky hands, I grab a cigarette and attempt to light it. My hands won't stop shaking. Why can't I light the fucking cigarette. I start breathing too fast and now my whole body is shaking.

"Draco I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."

He just stares at me with those damn grey eyes. Then he's holding me and I'm crying into his chest.

"It's okay, shh, relax," he soothes.

**I shake my head,"I'm so confused and it scares me. I don't know what I'm doing."**


	4. Chapter 4

_**Omg there's actual sex in this chapter wow wow. Leave reviews and enjoy!**_

Chapter 4 Draco

It's Friday. I sit in the break room at the hospital with only an hour left till my shift ends. I plan on hiding out here, sipping on my cold coffee. My thoughts drift off to Harry Potter. It's been five days since I've seen or heard from him. I see the bloke after five years and in one night he changes my life. I can't stop thinking about him.

"Stop thinking about him Draco."

I look up and see Hermione. I'm glad she finally forgave me about ditching her. I think once I told her what happened on Sunday she was more sympathetic.

"How do you know I'm think about him Granger?"

"You get this sappy look on your face and look a like a sad puppy."

I scoff at her. "Piss off Hermione. No I don't."

"I don't know why you let him shake you up. You don't even know Harry. He's broken Draco and will break anyone within the near proximity."

"I want to help. You should've seen him Hermione. He looked so sad. That sadness is what he's trying to kill inside."

She shakes his head,"Draco he's not some project to work on. It's too late, he can't just quit his lifestyle and give up the person he's created. I thought maybe Ashton could bring him out of the darkness. They had so much in common. And they genuinely cared for each other. I think even Harry might've loved him. I was wrong."

"Maybe Ash was going about it the wrong way. You can't just give up on him Hermione. You're his friend."

"Yeah but you're not and I'm telling you you're getting yourself into a complicated mess."

"Maybe I want to be his friend," I say sternly.

"Oh Draco," Hermione coos, shaking her head. "Just promise me you'll be careful?"

I grin at her. "Honestly Hermione you would've thought I was going to war or something."

She just gives me a sad smile and we sit together, lost in our own thoughts.

"Have you heard from him?"

Hermione sighs. "No. I've tried owling him, the floo, I even tried apparating but he's put his wards up. Ron hasn't had any luck either."

"What about that Ashton guy?"

"Oh he's a little upset but feels bad for saying such awful things. I understand, though. Harry can be so infuriating at times. Anyways, Ash has his interview today for the position of arithmetic professor."

I nod, "that's great for him. Honestly you're right. I'm not sure why I even care."

Hermione rubs my shoulder. "I'm not going to lie, you've got a kind heart Draco. And Harry is a sex god who draws people in like the sun. He breaks hearts with no remorse."

I laugh loudly. "It sounds like you've had experience with that."

She blushes deeply. "Harry may have or may have not given me a taste of his heartbreaker status."

"Oh Merlin Hermione," I say shaking my head and laughing with her.

After a long day at work I sit in my flat enjoying a nice glass of wine. It has been a bloody long week and rest is much needed. I even ordered pizza. How muggle of me. I'm snuggled up on the couch reading a new book in my flannel pants and a muscle tee. The wine is the perfect taste too. It's all the perfect distraction from Harry, even though I'm still thinking about him.

"Ring!"

The doorbell chimes which is great because I was starting to get hungry. I slink over to the door, accioing my wallet, and opening up.

"Evening Malfoy," Harry says with a smile tugging at his lips.

I keep my face neutral, despite my insides being in a knot. "Potter? It's been a minute."

"May I come in?"

Not trusting my voice, I step to the side and let him pass. I close the door behind us, waiting for an explanation.

"So... First I wanted to say sorry."

"Hmm?"

Harry runs his fingers through his messy hair,"sorry for making you do drugs and then sleeping with you and then losing my cool and then sleeping with you again and then kicking you out and then not talking to you for five days."

I laugh lightly, "well the first time I don't really remember and the second time, well that was my choice. I'm not made, just a little concerned. How are you feeling?"

Harry looks into my eyes and they're glazed over. He's on something. "I feel great actually. That's why I came to see you. To make up for last weekend. It was a bad first impression after all these years."

"Have you spoken to Hermione?"

He hesitates, "no I haven't, not yet."

"You really should have gone and talked to her first, you know."

Harry frowns and pulls out a cigarette. "No I don't want to talk." He takes a couple of puffs and says no more.

"Well what do you want?"

Harry sighs and puts out the cigarette on the heel of his boot. His eyes gleam at my question and he closes the space in between us. Potter reaches a tentative hand towards my face and I can't help but to lean into his touch.

"I said I don't want to talk,"he whispers. It's so soft, a shiver runs through my body.

"Damn Potter, what are you doing to me."

Instead of answering he kisses my neck and arches into my groin making me moan. I feel his tongue leave his mouth and travel down to my collarbone as his hands travel up my shirt. One plays with my nipples and the other presses against the small of my back, pushing us closer. Soon he brings the attention back to my mouth. His tongue explores and it's hard to breath. My hands were at his neck but Potter pushes a leg in between my thighs and my fingers dig into his shoulders as I try to contain my arousal.

"Bed," Harry mutters but my mind can't focus with his cock pressing against me.

"What?" I ask in between kisses.

"Bed Malfoy. Bed, couch, counter, anything to throw you on."

I moan into his lips before pulling apart to drag him to the couch. Harry is right on top of me, stripping off his jacket and shirt and kicking off his shoes. As he unbuckles his jeans, I pull off my own shirt and shimmy out of my trousers. We're a tangle of hot limbs. I gaze up at Potter's glorious body and take him all in. His chest is broad and sculpted with a tiny trail of black hair down his stomach. His cock is large and red and dripping with precome. I lick my lips at the sight and he flushes but doesn't shy away from my gaze. This time there's no other people, no drugs (at least on my part), and no tears. I plan on enjoying this fully.

Potter kisses me again and starts working his way down my chest, licking each nipple and sucking on it fully before continuing his journey. He stops at my waist and kisses the inside of each thigh.

"Shit Harry would it be a turn off to ask if we could move? I feel like I'm going to explode any moment and I really don't want to get come on my couch," I say out of breath.

Harry looks up from his work and the image of him over top of me, hair falling in his emerald eyes and cheeks flush, with that cocky smile (excuse the pun) is so erotic that it takes everything in me not to come this instant like some horny teenager. Though, to be fair I'm not that far from being one.

Potter ignores my request and makes his way to my rectum. Without any warning he parts my cheeks and shove his tongue inside me. He swirls it with such skill that I cry out. I try to thrust up but he firmly holds my hips down as he works his magic. His other hand begins to slowly pump my cock and I'm a writhing mess. It seems like forever before he finally stops.

"I think you're ready now. Ready Malfoy?" Harry asks, voice laced thickly with sarcasm, as if he'd wait for permission, but I nod anyway.

He props my legs up, wandlessly conjures lube on his hand and lathers himself up. Next thing I know he's pushing through.

"Merlin Potter, some warning first will yah," I complain in a strained voice.

"Can't help it. Your arse just looks extra fit tonight."

However, he takes my words into consideration and pushes through slowly. It seems like ages before he's all the way in and I'm urging him to move. One thing I vaguely remember from the first time and vividly from the second, is Potter in no way is gentle. Once you give him permission to move. His movements are hard and quick. My arse was bloody sore for a good three days. It was the only proof that the mysterious Potter had actually took me out and got me in bed, with a stranger, a female stranger at that. The man has powers outside of your typical magic.

My thoughts scatter when he hits that sweet spot and a string of obscenities leave my mouth. Now having the right angle, Potter hits it again and again until they're tears in my eyes.

"Don't come yet Malfoy. Wait," Potter says in a hoarse voice.

"Merlin are you mental?"

Potter hits the spot again in response, erasing whatever cheeky thing I had intended on saying from my mind. He pounds into me relentlessly and I know he's going to have scars on his back from my claws. His thrust become erratic and I know he's close.

Potter looks up into my eyes and tells me," I'm so close. Just wait."

But the burning sensation in my balls is so strong. It threatens to pull me under. "Harry, please," and with those words Harry is coming and so am I and I swear I see stars. My fingers dig into his shoulders to hold onto consciousness. Potter pulls his now limp cock out of me and slumps down on top of me.

"Merlin, Draco. The look in your eyes. You're so beautiful. I just couldn't hold out any longer. It was great," Harry tells me between ragged breaths. I'm too tired to respond, but manage to sit up. I wave my hand to clean up the mess on us and I'm suddenly cold.

"Come on let's go to my bed."

Harry laughs, "oh now you can manage to make it to the bed."

"Just barely."

"Ring!"

I suddenly remember the pizza and look at the clock over the fireplace. If that's the pizza, despite the great timing, it's 30 minutes late. After slipping on my trousers and opening the door, I'm greeted by a bashful delivery guy.

"Eh mate I'm so sorry. I got lost but the pizza's free now," he says apologetically.

I just shrug. "Thanks, here's your tip," I say giving him 10€ that I had intended on using for the food. "Have a good night."

The guy smiles brightly and gives me the pizza, quickly leaving before I can change my mind I guess. I shut the door and turn to Harry.

"Hungry? I forgot I ordered this."

**"After that, I'm starving."**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 Harry

I had no intentions on sleeping with Draco. The first time, I was under the influence and felt so euphoric, I just wanted Draco to feel the same way. Then Amy came along in her little punk dress, looking magical under the lights I had to share it with her too. So we all had a great night. Then the second time I just wanted to feel loved. To feel like my world didn't revolve around Ash, especially when he was bringing it down. So I had sex with Malfoy and despite me crying like a bitch, it was pretty great.

Now this time around I had planned on apologizing about my weekend behaviors and maybe take him out for dinner. Show him that I had grown up after all these years and was a good person. Not some dysfunctional playboy. But as I got dressed I got worried that he'd reject my offer to starting a friendship, so I smoked a blunt and felt better. Then I worried that he too only wanted sex that night, not a friendship or more, and wanted to forget everything now so I took two glasses of firewhiskey. Then Ash and his comments about forgetting my problems through alcohol and drugs came to mind and I threw the whiskey bottle as I tried not to cry about the mess inside my head. I smoked some more weed to lighten up but I was still feeling a little off my rocker so I took some acid, hoping that the enlightening experience would clear my mind. I must admit that I felt a lot better and made my way to Draco's house whose address I got from Ron earlier that evening after having made him promise not to tell Hermione I called.

I got to Draco's feeling pretty confident in my plan but when he opened the door I had forgotten how beautiful he was. The acid might've been playing a part in the light radiating from Draco's body, but nonetheless he looked phenomenal. The desire that washed over me was so strong that it took every ounce of willpower in my body not the ram him against the nearest piece of furniture right at that second.

He proceeded to let me inside, I apologized, lit a cigarette forgetting to ask permission (sometimes LSD made me feel a wee bit superior and forget my manners) and then we fucked. It was great but that's not what I planned on doing. I barely knew this new Draco who saved lives and made friends with muggle borns. I wanted to actually be his friend first, but the attraction was too great.

So now I laid in Draco's bed, his arm draped over me preventing me from leaving, and thinking about all my recent screw ups. I would soon have to apologize to Hermione for hurting her feelings and maybe, if I got the courage, to Ash. He's been telling me all this time that I was getting out of control but I always ignored his warnings. It's just that when he started getting all high and mighty on me, I started to withdraw. I didn't want to be there anymore. I still got angry when I thought about the argument and sad about how long it's been since Ash and I had seen each other. We hadn't not seen each for this long since the time he went to the states to visit his sick sister. And even then we owled each other. Maybe I would pay him a visit.

So with my mind set to make things right, I wiggled from underneath Draco's grasp, gathered my clothes, and quietly apparated out.

It was early in the morning but I knew Hermione would be up. I walked up the front steps of Ron and Hermione's cottage and knocked three times.

"Didn't expect to see you here."

I jump nearly ten feet in the air. "Shit Ash you bloody scared me. What are you doing here?"

He keeps his tone neutral. "I could ask you the same thing. Got tired of hiding?"

Right when I think of a smart response, the front door swings open.

"Hey mate," Ron greets sleepily.

I look between him and Ash, hoping to get an explanation but Ron doesn't seem to see anything out of the ordinary.

"Hey I came to talk to Hermione," I say hesitantly.

He rubs is eyes and yawn, "yeah she's in the living room reading. Come in."

I take one last look at Ash before following. His attention is no longer on me and he's writing furiously on a notepad. Before, on nights I couldn't sleep I would wake up to Ash scribbling on a piece of paper. He had a knack for numbers and spells, especially during a good trip. He would sit beside me, hands trembling but his mind steady. Ash was brilliant and thinking about the past makes my heart ache.

I make my way inside and Hermione is lounging on the withered couch in the living room right where Ron said she'd be.

"Love, Harry has come to visit," Ron announces.

"Mhm," she mumbles without looking up from her book.

"Well, I'll leave you two to talk then," Ron mutters awkwardly as he goes up the steps leading to the bedrooms.

I trot over to Hermione and sit down beside her but she doesn't move. I'm not quite sure how to start so I dive right in.

"Hermione I'm sorry for ditching you last Saturday. It's just, you know how I get around your friends. I just don't feel comfortable. You guys are just so well established and I feel out of place."

Hermione sighs deeply and closes her book. "Harry I'm not mad that you ditched me, even though you could've at least said bye first. I'm mad because you just coast through life without caring about what you're doing to other people. That wasn't the first time you ditched me. I was just glad that you didn't decide not to show up all together. And now you're messing around with Draco. It's only going to end in heartbreak. I'm just so angry that you think you can do what you want!"

I rub my face, suddenly feeling very tired. I could really use a smoke or something stronger. "Can I smoke in here?" I ask not noticing that I'm now speaking aloud.

Hermione hits me with her book. "Harry James Potter you may not smoke in here! I hate that you have such disgusting habit anyway."

"Well do you have anything to drink. I can't continue this conversation sober."

"Ash was right. You're an addict Harry."

"Wait wait wait. First of all, Ash was always right beside me, when I was doing drugs and drinking and for awhile he was in the bed with me too. Why is that prat here anyway? This some sort of intervention?"

As if on cue Ash walks in and I groan. "Don't get your knickers in a twist Potter. I only came in because I could hear the tension from outside," Ash laughs. "Thought maybe I could spread some light on the situation."

"Listen you guys, I'm sorry for being a prick but I'm honestly fine. I've been the way I am for a while now and nothing bad has ever happened."

Hermione shakes her head and Ash kind of just stares.

"He honestly doesn't remember," Hermione whispers.

"Remember what? You guys are freaking me out," I respond.

"Harry, that smiley stuff you've been taking, it makes you go crazy. It's not like any other drug you or I have taken before. You take it and you do mental things and the next day you act like nothing happened and it scares me."

I laugh, not believing my ears. "What are you lot on about? I've only done that stuff like three times. Nothing serious."

"But Harry it is serious. That time you, Ash, Ron, and I went to that bar I guess you took some at some point and thirty minutes later the bar was trashed and you were gone! We found you two days later in some apartment with three girls and all your wallet empty!" Hermione exclaims.

I shake my head in disbelief. "No. Yeah I did wake up with those girls but..."

"You can't remember how you got there can you?" Ash asks but I stay silent.

"And then there's the one night you took it, I'm not sure what you did but you ended up on my bloody porch splinched and naked," Hermione adds.

"The other day when you woke up with me in your bed. I found you at the warehouse... Where you had been for three days. Two of which you were passed out in one of the bathrooms."

"Harry we're scared," Hermione finishes.

I burst out laughing. "You've got to be bloody shitting me. Yeah I don't remember those nights but they're not much different from my other nights. I can handle myself."

"Harry I never said anything regarding your recreational activities but you're getting reckless. Even Ash has his limits-"

"This bullshit again. Just because Ash has decided to work and you have a job and have a solid relationship and like in this cute little cottage and only drink when you go out with your fake friends doesn't make you any better than me. I'm enjoying my life the way I want to. I saved the goddamn world, I deserve this little bit don't I?"

"But Harry you're not doing it because it's fun you're-"

"No Ash stop! Shut-"

"You're doing it because you're hurting inside and you don't know how to stop the pain. You-"

"Shut the hell up! I'm no-"

"We all have our issues but you're ruining your li-"

"Enough! I'm done! You guys think I'm bloody mental because I don't go around with Ginny as my fucking girlfriend and working as an auror with my best mate and saving little bloody kittens from trees! I'm not perfect and it scares you that I can't be controlled like a little puppet!" I yell, now standing up.

Hermione stands up too. "Harry please listen," she begs but I'm already turning away. Ash reaches for me but I move too quick and slip out of his grasp. Before I know it I'm running. I'm running so fast but I don't know where I'm going. My heart is thundering in my ears and all I want to do is escape my body. So I apparate and then I'm still running. When I finally stop to catch my breath I dig into my pocket for the tiny yellow pill. It has a crudely drawn smile on its surface but it makes me want to do anything but smile.

**I pop it in my mouth and let the drug take me away.**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Hey just some trigger warnings for this chapter. There's some self harm and emotional stuff so just flagging that ahead of time. Please enjoy.**_

Chapter 6 Draco

I knew he would leave. I didn't expect to see Harry again after the day I left his flat, so last night was a surprise. That's Harry Potter for you, just full of surprises.

Last night was bittersweet. Yes, sex with Potter is great, but not knowing if it'll be your last time or not is nerve wrecking. Of course I woke up this morning alone in my bed as I assumed, but it didn't make me miss Potter any less. I still thought about waking up with him beside me and just him. How we could've spent the afternoon lounging and then got a cup of tea. We could've talked about quidditch like mates do but in reality we were anything but mates. I barely knew this new Harry Potter. Knowing that didn't make my attraction to the boy any less great. Hermione warned me to be careful but I knew no amount of warning and precautions could stop me from the trouble I was bound to get myself in. This love story, if you could even call it that, would have no happy ending.

So like the pathetic person I was, I decided to mope around my house all day.

Around half past twelve, my floo is ringing and next thing I know Pansy is stepping through.

"Draco did you forget about our lunch date? You had me waiting at the café like a loser," she complains.

"Oh Pansy dear, I'm so sorry. It slipped my mind."

She scoffs, "yeah shows me how much you care and what are you still doing in your pajamas? It's the afternoon."

I sit on the couch and just sigh.

She immediately sits beside me and places her petite hands over mine. "Draco darling, what's wrong?"

"Oh Panse," I sigh.

"Is it boys? Did you have a falling out with someone?"

"Pansy, what do you do if you're interested in a guy who's unattainable."

Her brows crease as she thinks about my question. "What do you mean unattainable? Does he work with you? Married? Too young? Too old? Straight?"

I laugh at her assumptions. "No not that, he's just... Not ready for a relationship unattainable."

This time it's Pansy's turn to laugh. "Bullocks. Unless his partner just died then there's no reason he shouldn't be ready for a relationship. You just got to show him that you're worth getting into a relationship with."

"Panse you make it seem so easy," I groan.

"It is easy," she says with a hair flip. "Who's this guy anyway. Have you even slept with him?"

"Yes."

"Draco!" she squeals. "You must tell me who it is then! Do I know them? Probably not. All our friends are dead, in jail, or married," she jokes bitterly.

"Oh Pansy don't put me in a worse mood than I'm already in."

"Yes I do apologize. Please tell me who it is."

I stare into her dark eyes for a good minute then sigh. "Potter," I mumble.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Potter."

She screams and shakes me. "Potter! Harry Potter! The golden boy?!"

"He's not so golden anymore."

"What do you mean by that?" Pansy asks, quieting down.

"I mean Potter is a bloody play boy. Every night is a party. He's either getting drunk, high, fucked, or all three."

Her mouth drops,"Draco you've got to be bloody kidding me." I just shake my head. "Well is he any good in the sack?"

I laugh and hit her. "Pansy you vulgar creature!"

"Well is he?"

I cover my face, blushing deeply. "Yes, yes he is."

"Does Harry Potter top or bottom?"

I shoot up from the couch but she quickly snatches my arm. "Pansy I'm not telling you any details."

"Oh please," she begs. "How big is his prick? Does he shave? What are his kinks?"

"Pansy stop!"

She giggles like a mad woman. "Fine fine. Don't get your knickers in a twist. Sit back down."

Once we calm down we resume our conversation.

"So what is this new Potter like?"

"See that's the thing. I don't even know. We don't talk, we just have a couple drinks, smoke a cigarette or two and have sex. I have no clue what he's interested in or anything."

She nods. "So how do you know you like him?"

I shrug, not knowing myself. "I'm not sure. Yeah the sex is great but something else draws me towards him."

"Well Draco, I would suggest that you go out, find this Potter and take him out for lunch. A first date of sorts eh?"

After Pansy and I made it out for lunch and took a stroll around I decided to pay Potter a visit. It took much self convincing, a couple drinks, and quite some time picking out my outfit and doing my hair before I was presentable to invite anyone out. However, when I got to his flat, no one answered. I took it as a sign that Harry had better things to do on a Saturday evening or he was once again in hiding. So like any other person would, I left. I just happened to run into that Ash fellow.

"Oy, Draco Malfoy right?"

I smile awkwardly. "Yes that's me, and you're Ashton. Never got a last name, though." He smiles easily. He is a rather attractive fellow with deep dimples, sky blue eyes, and caramel waves for hair.

"Greyes. Ashton Greyes. Hey you haven't seen Harry by any chance have you?"

"Um no I haven't. He wasn't home." I blush at the thought of having to explain my reasons for being at Potter's house.

Ash just sighs. "Him and I got into another bad row and I haven't seen him all day. I'm worried," Ash confides, as if we were friends.

"I'm sorry to hear that," I say awkwardly.

He hesitates before asking, "I hope I'm not imposing on you, but would you mind helping me look for him. Sometimes when he's on one of his adventures it's quite hard to get him back by myself. And it won't be so lonely."

His big innocent eyes and sweet demeanor are hard to say no to, so I find myself somehow agreeing. Despite Harry saying that him and Ash were just friends I'm still envious. I can tell him and Ash have some strong sort of bond unlike any other. Because of that, I'm jealous.

"Wow thanks Draco. I just hope Harry hasn't ended up anywhere dangerous," Ash mumbles as we make our way out of the building.

"How do you know Harry's just not laying low and keeping to himself?"

Ash shakes his head. "We got in a really bad argument. It was awful. He's going to do something to hurt himself and the sooner we find him, the better."

"Can't you just track his wand?" I ask as if he hasn't tried."

"Hermione did that as soon as he left but he was ready. He put his wards up immediately. He doesn't want to be found," Ash says sadly.

Once we're outside Ash holds out his arm.

"We've looked in at the warehouse, even though it's quite early, a few bars around town, the last couple of places we've found Harry and even found and talked to that bartender. Ron and Hermione are checking other clubs, especially ones that have earlier openings. I have a hunch though alcohol won't be enough today and Harry's at our local supplier. You ready?"

I'm suddenly nervous but just take Ash's arm as my confirmation.

We pop up at a dilapidated brick house. Apart from the slight look of disrepair, the neighborhood looks like your average suburban area in London. Not what I was expecting the location of a drug dealer to look like.

I follow Ash up the pathway to the house's porch. Ash knocks three time and we wait patiently. Then a beautiful women opens the door. She has smooth brown skin, hazel almond shaped eyes and long, dark lashes that frame them. Her hair is dreaded and in a sort of updo with beads here and there. She wears high waisted jean shorts, an old red jumper and is barefooted. She seems so exotic but inviting.

"Hello Ana, would Harry happen to be here?"

She stares at me for awhile before responding to Ash. "Who's blondie?" she says in a raspy voice.

"Friend of mine and Harry's."

She looks at me suspiciously before crossing her arms and nodding for us to come inside. The house is smokey in the evening sun and the musky smell of marijuana and unwashed bodies enters my nose. All around are people lying about, looking lifeless while smoking from joints and bongs. Others are entangled with each other, in intimate positions that are better suited for behind closed doors. The house would probably be quite lovely with its hippie furniture and colored walls if it hadn't been for all the junkies scattered around the place.

We follow Ana through a maze of people until we reach a kitchen where another woman sits drinking a cup of tea, humming a tune, and smoking a joint all while looking out the large window over the sink.

"Oy, Sage, you seen Potter?" Ana calls.

The woman looks over at us. She has long black hair and dark eyes to match. She wears a skirt that reaches her feet and a t-shirt. Tons of bracelets cover each arm and she has a million piercings in each ear. Her face looks stern with her defined jaw and thick eyebrows but she smiles with ease.

"Yes he's in May's room. I'm not so sure right now is a good time to see him though," Sage tells us with a thick French accent.

"We don't mind," Ash assures her. Yet again Ana looks at me but then she shrugs and leads us to a large lopsided staircase. We make our way to the second floor which is dim and poorly lit. The smoke makes it even harder to see. We finally reach a door all the way in the back and Ana knocks. No one answers so Ana opens the door and walks in.

A young girl with curly brown hair is fast asleep, naked in bed with her breast expose. Harry sits next to her in only his pants and plays with a lighter. He's talking to himself and doesn't seem to notice our presence.

"I'll leave you two then," Ana whispers before exiting the room.

Ash looks at me before taking a deep breath and walking over to Harry.

"Harry, mate. It's Ash."

Harry's eyes drift up to Ash's face but they're glossy and unfocused. Out of nowhere he starts laughing and the girl next to him stirs.

"Shh you'll wake May," Harry whispers more to himself than us.

"Harry I brought Draco."

Harry squints, as if in search for me and I walk over to make myself more easily seen.

"Hello Harry," I say gently.

"Draco? What are you doing here?"

"I could be asking you the same thing," I reply.

Harry laughs as if suddenly sober. "Did Ash put you up to this."

Ash holds Harry's wrist,"I thought you'd be more agreeable if I brought a friend."

"He's not my friend, mate. We just fucked two or three times.

"Three," I whisper to myself.

"Well Draco and I would like to go home with you now."

Harry shakes his head. "Bugger off Ash. I remember. You and Hermione all think I'm crazy. Tell Draco I'm a nut too? Nah I'm not going back."

"I'm sorry Harry," Ash pleads.

"Oh for Merlin's sake. Potter let's go. No one wants to sit in the pot hole all day," I sneer.

Potter just laughs. "Only if you'll come home with me."

"I was at your flat already."

Harry lazily lifts an eyebrow,"how unfortunate that I was here."

"You can make it up to me by leaving now."

Harry stares at me for awhile then closes his eyes. A few long minutes pass and I begin to worry that Harry has fallen asleep sitting straight up, but then his eyes flutter open and he nods.

"Yes," he says softly. Ash let's out a relieved sigh. I'm even happy that I was the one who convince Potter to leave, not Ash. I'm happy until I notice the fresh scars on the inside of Harry's arms as he gets dressed. I look to Ash to see if he's noticed but Ash's face is anything but concerned. He looks as if a weight was lifted from his shoulders but without the weariness. His expression is soft and I can see the love in his eyes and dimpled smile.

Harry's own eyes drift up to Ash's while he buttons his shirt and he gives Ash a quick wink while attempting to hide his smile. The joy I received from my small victory before quickly fades. It's obvious how close Ash and Harry are and I hate it. I feel even worst when I think about how Harry said we weren't mates with ease.

We eventually make it back to Harry's flat but Harry is quick to kick Ash out and beg for me to stay. Of course I oblige and once again I find myself in Harry's flat. I had very little hope of ending up here again.

"Thanks for staying with me," Harry mumbles as he takes a seat on his couch and lights a cigarette. I join him and we sit in an awkward silence until Harry speaks up again. "Why were you at my house?"

I didn't do anything wrong but I blush again. Malfoys don't try to court, they get courted.

"I wanted to invite you out, but you weren't home and then I ran into Ashton."

He nods slowly before wiping his brow and puffing out smoke. Time seems to slow down as I observe Harry. His eyes are fixed on something in the distance that I know I won't be able to see. Occasionally he shivers and quite often he swallows. I watch his Adam's apple bob in his throat and think naughty things.

"Did Ash tell you why I decided to... hang out?"

"No, he just said you guys got in a fight and he didn't want you to be out mad."

Harry laughs curtly. "I can handle my own. I don't need to be minded like a kid."

I hate myself for saying it but I tell him, "Ash really cares about you. I can see it in his eyes."

Harry absently rubs his puckered arms and whispers to himself.

I continue, "Harry no one wants you to get hurt is all."

"Maybe I want to get hurt," he snaps and instantly gets quiet again. His breaths had begun to get quick but he calms with each drag on his cigarette. I take this chance to get a better look at the cuts. They all are a vibrant red and some even have drops of blood oozing from them. It's awful to see Harry Potter, our savior, like this. Now he can't even save himself. I can't stand it.

"Harry what did you do," I say as I lay my hands carefully on his forearms.

He just stares blankly at the walls in front of him and I begin to fear he didn't hear me but he speaks up.

"What are you talking about? I just went to buy some weed," his voice cracks. Again he swallows and I catch my eyes drifting down to his lips. Even at his worst, Potter looks his best.

"Huh Malfoy? What we were you referring to?"

I blush when I notice I was staring and stutter as I try to recover. "I-I meant your body. Not your body. Your body looks great," I say with a sigh and he laughs. "No! I meant to say your arms dammit. You're distracting me," I whine.

Harry takes an innocent tone,"I'm not doing anything."

"Potter I'm serious. I want to help. Why did you cut yourself like this?"

Harry sobers up and looks away from me, lips puckered. I take one arm and look up to Harry, asking permission with my eyes. His green eyes are steady but his pupils are dilated and I have a feeling he doesn't only see me. Harry doesn't protest so I take his scarred arm and begin to softly kiss it. I do the same thing with his other arm. A sniffle interrupts my work and I look up to see Harry crying. He looks at me with fierce eyes and a shameless expression. There's only pain on his face and it breaks my heart.

The next thing I know, I'm kissing him. I drown in his salty tears, his tongue, and his pain.

**All I can do is kiss this broken boy and it hurts me to know that I can't do anything more.**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Um there's a lot of sex so be prepared.**_

Chapter 7 Harry

Have you ever been in love? I thought I had once, with Ash, but there's a difference between being in love and loving someone. I'm not sure if I'm in love but this is definitely not something I've ever experienced before.

For the first time, Draco and I didn't have sex. I wanted to, a lot. I thought there was a high probability that we would, but things took a turn.

Out of nowhere Draco was kissing me and I couldn't stop crying. It felt so foreign to have someone want me and to know that they had no intentions on leaving the next morning. The emptiness in me started to dissipate and left me feeling raw and vulnerable. I needed Draco. He was like a whole new drug. Eventually we stopped and just laid on the couch. Good to know that two full grown men could fit on that old thing. Draco started to tell stories of his childhood while rubbing circles in my back, soothing me and next thing I knew I was asleep.

Now I lay awake in the darkness. No amount of soft words and smooth tones could guarantee a good nights sleep for me. After a trip, a hit, a few drinks too many, the nightmares flooded my dreams. There was no escaping them. I used to scream but I quickly learned that that scared away the nights catch. Now I endured them alone in silence. Draco still laid next to me, head resting on my chest and breaths steady. He looked so peaceful and even more beautiful. I brush a stray lock of blond hair out of his face and his eyes flutter open.

"Oh I didn't mean to wake you," I croak, my mouth dry from yesterday's drugs.

Draco just groans and buries his head in my chest. "Why are you even up," he grumbles into me. I chuckle and lean down to kiss his head.

"Since you're up I'll run out and get us some break-"

"No! Please don't leave. You always leave," Draco whines, clinging to me tightly like a child. I think back on our nights spent together and he's right; I always leave. I sigh and just wrap my arms around his thin body.

We're quiet for a while and I think Draco has gone back asleep but then I feel his lips and my body. He kisses my chest ever so lightly, gradually making his way up to my neck, then my jaw and he whispers into my ear.

"I'm bloody hard and I was wondering if you could fix that," he says, voice still soft from sleep.

I laugh but don't hesitate to flip the two of us so I'm now on top of him.

"You waste no time, do you Potter?"

I shrug, "I wanted to fuck you last night but it's a nice change to be completely sober."

"Oh how sw-"

I cut off Draco's cheeky response with a hip roll into his groin and get out a deep moan. I slide my hand into his pants and get a gasp as I slip over his ready cock but that's not what I'm looking for.

"Potter always so bloody-"

Draco gasps and arches his back before finishing. I shoved one finger in that perfect arse of his, hoping to get a less chatty Draco, which is asking for a lot.

"Shit. Shit shit shit. You little-"

I shove in a second finger and he moans.

"One finger wasn't enough, eh? Don't worry, I've got plenty," I tell him with a wink. He frowns and sticks his claws into my shoulders. I hiss and bury my head in the curve of his neck. Draco is out for blood, but I continue my work by scissoring him. I make sure to really stretch out the tight muscles so I won't have to worry about holding out later. I add another finger and when Draco begins to fuck himself on my fingers, I remove them and lube up, but an idea hits me.

"Draco get up," I command.

"Why?" he says breathless.

"You're going to fuck yourself on my cock and I'm going to watch." He smirks and gets up so I take his place on the couch. Slowly, like the tease he is, Draco slides himself on my pulsing cock and I let out a deep moan when he's seated. I place my hands on his waist but he swats them away.

"I'm in control now Potter," Draco tells me with an evil glint in his eye. I groan because I know where this is going. He's going to drag things out.

As expected Draco ever so slowly slides up and down on my cock and pumps his own at the same takes his time and makes sure get the full pleasure out of everything. With his head thrown back and sweat building up on his porcelain skin, the erotic scene threatens to push me over the edge. I begin to regret my decision.

"Don't look so frustrated Potter."

"Fuck you," I reply in a strained voice.

"You're already doing that, aren't you?" He laughs throatily. "How about this, let's count my thrust and see how long it takes before you come all inside me," he suggest but I just glare at him. "Come on, one." Thrust. "Two." Thrust.

"Three," I say with him when he threatens to stop.

Thrust. "Four." Thrust. "Five."

We get to ten and the erotic sound of Draco's along with seeing him on top of me pumping his own cock sends me spewing come all inside his fit arse. My vision goes black as I go through the motions, but I can hear Draco's own moans and feel his hot seed.

"Fuck," I whisper.

"Yeah, I know right," he replies out of breath. We lay together for a while before I suggest a shower. Draco doesn't hesitate and once the water's warm enough we both jump in. My lips are instantly on Draco's and we're both hard again. Draco sucks on my tongue, getting a moan out of me and I have reason to believe that I owe him. I drop down on my knees, water running off of Draco's body and soaking mine. He leans against the wall, knowingly. I first take my tongue on a slow trip around his balls, then allow my hand to play with them as my mouth moves to his prick. I take him all at once in my mouth. Making sure to get a steady rhythm, I begin to work a finger in between his cheeks. This time I'm in charge and get to do things my way. I watch Draco intently with his head thrown back and eyes slit. If I could I would laugh at his instant vulnerability. My thoughts are interrupted when he slides fingers into my damp hair and starts to fuck my mouth. My brow wrinkles and I shove a second finger, stopping his movements. I curl my fingers and prod repeatedly at his prostate turning Draco into a writhing mess. My tongue works his cock, making swirling motions and taking him all the way to the back of my throat. I pick up my pace, my fingers too and Draco is practically pulling my hair out.

"Harry, I'm going to come," he grunts. I just nod and continue my work until a hot jet of white fills my mouth and swallow diligently. I stand up and Draco kisses me hard but I pull away.

"We're not finished yet," I say while licking my lips. I turn him so he's facing the tiled wall and slide my aching cock into his arse. I waste no time and ram into Draco with blinding force. One hand holds his hips steady and the other holds the wall for dear life. Sounds of bodies and skin slapping together fills the steamy air around us.

"Bloody hell I'm so close already," I whisper in Draco's ear and I feel him shiver against me. I slam into him over and over again, grunting with the force of my thrust. It's almost animalistic. I put my other hand on Draco's waist to get better control and a few hard pumps later I'm coming all in him. We're both breathing hard and we pull apart so I can see Draco's face.

Draco's grey eyes stare into my own and he smiles. "So when can do that again?" He laughs.

The rest of the morning is filled with sex and good times. I haven't felt this great without being under the influence in a long time. It's something almost new and unfamiliar and I'm not sure if it's because of the sex with Draco or if it's just Draco. Eventually we manage to get dressed and Draco bids me a fair well and kisses me on his way out.

However it's not too long after when I hear a frantic knocking at my door. I go to it and find a wild eye Draco holding a paper.

"The Prophet," he gasps. "Must read. It's about you."

I laugh, "Merlin did you run all the way here? Can't be that bad. I'm always in the Prophet."

Draco just shakes his head and walks inside, taking a seat on the couch. He summons a glass of water and gulps it down. Arousal floods me when I think of him swallowing my come.

"The paper Potter! Read it!"

I roll my eyes and join him on the couch before looking at the paper.

**HARRY POTTER: SEXY NUISANCE**

_**IT was yesterday afternoon when Mr. Harry Potter walked into a lady's lingerie store, bought a pair of black lace boy shorts, and proceeded to strip in broad daylight to put the on the expensive panties. The cashier on duty, Lindsay Goldman, recounts the incident with us.**_

_"The store wasn't too crowded with it still being early and all. Only about five customers were in there browsing around. Then Harry Potter comes sauntering in, doesn't say anything at all, just looks around, picks out a pair of black panties, and walks up to me. Of course it's not my job to question the customers but I couldn't help myself from asking what Harry Potter was doing buying ladies underwear. Then the bloke gives me a saucy grin and says 'I had to rush out of this place pretty quick and left my own.' I was speechless and before I knew it Harry Potter had completely striped down to his birthday suit and proceeded to put on the underwear. He then walked out and left all his clothes! If I hadn't seen all this with my own eyes I would never have believed it. Boy, and what a sight it was."_

**_Others had reported seeing Harry Potter walking around in only his trainers and the lace boy shorts. It was a spectacle not to be missed. The young hero, now fully grown and looking like it. But is Harry Potter off his rocker? Go to page 7 for more insight and pictures!_**

"Bloody hell there's pictures?" I moan while quickly flipping to page

7 and there I am. Like they said I'm only wearing a pair of tiny panties that barely contain my junk. The pictures they've got of me look like I was just taking a walk in a park and showing off at that. Several times I bend over or stretch.

"God you're fit," Malfoy whispers before covering his mouth. "I'm sorry."

I just shake my head and rub my now weary eyes. I think I would be less frustrated if I could actually remember what happened after Ron and Hermione's house. And where had those bloody panties gone?

"This is what they were talking about," I mutter to myself.

"Who?"

Not really wanting to talk about it, I sigh and just shrug Draco off.

"Are you talking about Ash? Is that what you guys argued about?" Draco pushes.

I cover my face in my hands and nod. "Hermione and Ash say I'm out of control. I got angry, stormed out, took a pill, and it all blurs from there. I only remember waking up in Ana and Sage's house with some girl and a high bill of from all the weed I used. Then you guys found me but everything else... It's just not there," I say, whispering the last part. Draco takes the paper from my me and holds my hands. I find myself calming down with his touch but can't identify why.

"Harry they're your friends. They might be bloody annoying but they're not pulling shit out of their arses. I don't know about your past too well but maybe they're right and have a reason for being concerned. You walked around with your prick, your glorious, delicious, large... sorry, got side tracked. But anyway, you had your arse on display for the world and don't remember a thing. That's not usual."

I laugh a little. "Well when you put it like that, I get turned on a little."

Draco hits me,"I was trying to be serious!"

"No no, I understand what you're saying. It's just, sometimes I get so low... I just want to forget."

Draco looks at me with sad eyes and leans his head on my shoulder. "Let me help you," he whispers.

"No one can help me."

**"Then let me break with you."**


	8. Chapter 8

_**Not too excited about this chapter... Might edit it later**_

Chapter 8 Draco

The next couple of days were spent with Potter at some point. He was at my place or I was at his. We tried going out once but the press attacked Harry with question about his lovely boy shorts. So we spent most of time inside which was fine. That left plenty of time for sex and sex with Harry Potter was unlike anything one will ever experience in their life.

This Friday evening I laid with Harry on my bed, lounging after a good round of sex. He was absently drawing circles on my chest and I admired his mess for hair.

"Harry why don't you cut your hair?"

He laughs wholeheartedly. "It'll just grow back. Trust me, once my aunt chopped all my bloody hair off and it was back and even longer the next morning. Boy was she peeved. I wonder where she's at now."

"Were you close with her?"

Another laugh,"hell no. Her and my uncle hated me. They kept me in the cupboard and treated me like a flea-ridden dog. Then my cousin kicked my arse everyday and no did anything about it. I didn't even know wizards existed until I got my Hogwarts letter."

I gasp,"you're not serious?"

"You bet I am. I was so glad to get away from them. They're probably the reason I was so short for the longest. They didn't feed me so I was malnourished from day one of living with the Dursleys."

"Harry that's horrible!" I exclaim.

"Yeah but I try not to think about the past. It's not going to make anything better. There's only pain and regret."

We go silent but then I ask another question,"so how'd you meet Ash?"

"Hmm I wonder why you ask that?"

I blush and he continues. "It was a year after battle of Hogwarts. Ash had just graduated from a school in the states and came back to London to rejoin his family since the war was over. I was at a pub with Ron and we were both pretty pissed when we noticed Ash and his sister, Blair. If you think Ash is attractive you should see Blair. She's got long, blonde, wavy hair, dimples too, blue eyes, perfect body and a large rack. I had just broken up with Ginny so Ron practically forced me to talk to Ash's sister, I had no excuse not to talk to this beautiful woman.

However, I was more interested in Ash but Ron didn't know I liked blokes too. So I go over to their table sit down, buy them a round, and start flirting it up with Blair. She's laughing and Ron's giving me a thumbs up but I can't help staring at Ash.

At the end, much to everyone's disbelief I end up making out with Ash and we've been friends ever since. He took me to my first real club where I had my first real drugs. We tried the relationship thing. He was my first with a guy and I thought we really had something going on but he didn't think a sexual relationship was best so we decided to be just friends. We had some pretty great times together but I guess I went off the deep end. Ash has a bloody job now."

"Do you want to work?"

"I don't know. What would I even do?"

I shrug."Start a coffee shop."

"What? That's so random," Harry exclaims.

"Yeah it's unexpected but you seem to like that stuff." Harry laughs and shakes his head. "I'm serious. Do something different. You've got the money to start a business too."

"I'm not sure... I don't really know what I want, except for you."

His words bring heat to my cheeks. "Yeah only because I'm great in bed," I laugh.

He shakes his head. "You're great at that yeah but you're just great in general. You heal people."

"I work in a hospital. I'm trained to do that."

Harry sits up so he can see my face and I can see him roll his eyes.

"I mean heal outside of the hospital. You heal and draw people to you. Like how you easily befriended Ash and now you're on good terms with Ron and practically best mates with Hermione. You've got a power Draco."

"Who knew bad boy, panty wearing Harry Potter could be so sweet. Speaking of which have you spoken to Hermione? I have and she's very upset about you guy's last encounter."

Harry sighs deeply and lays his head back on my chest.

"No. Not yet," he answers but I'm a little distracted by his wandering hands. They circle around my waist and up and down my thighs. Soon his feather light touches are accompanied by sweet kisses.

"Harry you really need to talk to her, and Ash. If I was one of them I'd be very hurt by your-" I stop as I try to contain a moan. Harry had begun sucking on my neck which I could ignore then he started to rub my now hard cock with the palm of his hand. I urgently try to regain my thoughts before he moves on to something more intense.

"Harry I'm serious-"

"If you're so serious why haven't stopped me," he taunts.

I pull away immediately. "You're right. Let's go visit Hermione now."

Harry's face drops and his mouth hangs open.

"Bloody hell what have I done?" he whispers.

"Come on," I say, pulling him out of bed, "I'll be there to support you."

"Draco I can't."

"Sure you c-"

"No I'm so serious. I'm so horny right now, my cock hurts, and I don't think I can think straight."

I stop and look at him. "Well then, maybe that'll encourage you to be agreeable and get this over with quickly."

He just stares at me and I begin to get dressed. Harry stands there for a minute before eventually dressing too, in defeat. Ten minutes later we're outside Hermione and Ron's cottage. I look to Harry but I can tell he's a jumble of nerves meaning I'll have to take the lead. I rap my knuckles on the door three times and only wait about five seconds before it swings open and a studious looking Ash opens the door. The bloke looks like a kid in his oversized trademark Weasley sweater and his reading glasses.

"Oh hello Harry, Draco," Ash greets politely. "Here to see Ron or Hermione I expect?"

I wait for Harry to answer but I see how tight his lips are and decide it's best that I speak now. "Yeah actually we just wanted to drop in for a bit? Don't mind if we come in do you?"

Ash gives me a dimpled smile. "Of course not. This isn't my house," he chuckles. He widens the door, allowing for us all to come inside and the sweet smell of cake fills my nose.

"Hermione is baking for me. My sister is coming to town and my parents told me to make her something but I can't cook for my life, so Hermione offered to help me out," Ash explains. He leads us to the kitchen where a bright red, flour covered Weasley stands along side a frizzy haired Granger that I haven't seen since we were kids.

"Ron I said half a tablespoon not half a cup. Now we have to start over again," Hermione grumbles as she takes out a deformed looking cake.

"I don't know why we have to make one anyway! Ash would be better off on his own. We're rubbish at this!" Ron exclaims.

"Well we would be fine if-" I clear my throat before the arguing can continue and they both stop in their tracks.

"Oh Draco! Harry! I didn't hear you come in," Hermione says still sounding surprised.

I wave at them both and after the silence begins to turn uncomfortable I jab Harry in the side.

"Um hey, actually I wanted to know if we could talk Hermione," Harry mumbles.

Hermione doesn't say anything for awhile but then nods. "Yeah Ron and I need a break anyway. Ron love, why don't you make Draco some tea and take him out back. We'll join you when we're done," she says.

"Yeah that'd be great," I say, thanking them both.

"Actually I don't mind if Draco and Ron tag along," Harry interjects.

I frown at that boy and Hermione stares at him for a minute before shrugging her shoulders.

"I'll make us all some tea then and we can sit out back. Someone call Ash please," Hermione asks.

Ron calls him then leads us to the back porch that sits in the small garden. It's a cute house and radiates the feeling of home. We gather round a small, square, wooden table and wait for Hermione to join us. I sit next to Harry and Ash and Ron sit across from us. I can feel the tension oozing from Harry's body and rub his leg to soothe him but he shifts uncomfortably.

"I wasn't joking about what I said before we came here Draco," he whispers for my ears only. I can't help but smile at his comment and continue my aimless movements on his thigh.

In no time Hermione returns with a tray of tea and a strained smile. She sits down at the head of the table and Ron instantly starts making himself a cup. I follow suit so I'll have something to focus on when things get awkward. Eventually we all have cups and sip absently, waiting for someone to start. I squeeze Harry's thigh to get him going and he closes his eyes tight.

"Okay I um, came to today to apologize for my recent behavior," he starts but I squeeze his leg again, this time higher, urging him to continue. "I am getting out of control and I was in denial." I pat his leg in approval.

"Yeah mate, we saw the Prophet about your panties," Ron mutters. I accidentally laugh and Hermione glares at me.

It goes quiet again and I see that no one plans on speaking, all eyes are on Harry, so I run my hand over his crotch.

Harry sucks in a breath before saying,"I guess I just had a lot issues that I didn't know how to deal with and I felt alone. I felt like you didn't really understand what's going on. I mean how could you, even I don't."

"Harry do you still feel this way?" Ash asks.

Harry frowns and looks away. We all know the answer but it's obvious he's going to try and drag this out. I take a sip of tea and ever so slightly begin to palm Harry's crotch.

"Mmm, uh yeah I guess so. You guys still act like I'm some troublesome kid that you have to watch over. I don't need a babysitter," Harry answers in one horse breath.

"Harry we just want to help you," Hermione says in a soft voice.

"Yeah but I don't remember asking for a bloody therapist, Hermione."

"Eh mate no need to get snappy," Ron defends.

Harry laughs and I can already hear the rude comment he plans to make. I squeeze his groin and Harry whimpers, throwing his head in his hands.

"You guys try so hard but what I need the most sure as hell isn't all eyes on me," he whines. Harry covers my own hand with his and arches into my touch. He bites his other, probably to keep from crying out and his cheeks are flushed. One would probably think Harry was going to cry, but I know the only effort he's trying to make is not buggering me right on this table. I try to hide a cheeky smile behind my teacup.

"Harry I used to think that I knew you so well but everyday you prove me wrong. What am I missing?" Ash questions with a sad voice.

This time Harry answers on his own with a deep sigh. The bastard is massaging himself with my hand but it would look like he was just deep in thought.

"I don't know really. I just want friends who aren't always trying to change and fix me and are just there for me instead," the last part said in a jagged breath because I decide to apply extra pressure.

"Harry you know we've always got your back," Ron assures.

Harry nods slowly.

"Are we all mates again?" Ash asks with a smile.

Harry gives his own smile in return. "Yeah I guess so. I'll try not to be a prat."

Hermione looks so relieved and laughs. Ron even looks less awkward than usual. "Well hey, mom is having dinner with the whole family tomorrow night. Everyone is welcomed. Your sister, Ash, could get some great home cooked food there," Ron tells us.

"Great we'll be there," I respond.

We all bid our farewells and Harry rushes me out the moment I give my last hug. We're off the porch and apparating. I'm disoriented when we drop into Harry's apartment and Harry is instantly pushing me against the nearest wall.

"Woah there Potter," I gasp between rough kisses.

"You bloody bastard. I had no intentions on saying any of that." He then bites my lip, drawing blood.

I slip out of Harry's grasp and switch our positions. "I knew that. You were going to draw all off this out," I tell him while rolling my hips against his.

"Fuck you," Harry growls and shoves me off of him.

I ignore his pouting and smash my lips against his, sliding my tongue into his mouth. I try to close any remaining space but his hands keep my hips in place.

"Are you mad or something? What's your deal?" I question.

Harry looks away, letting out a breath before looking back at me. "Nothing. Forget it," he says as he crashes his lips on mine. He grabs my arse and hoist me up, so my legs wrap around his waist. Harry carries us to his bedroom and drops me on the bed without any grace. He's on top of me with lightning speed and tension rolls of his body. Then Harry practically rips my shirt off and that's when I have to stop him.

"Your prick that bloody hard? This is one of my good shirts, watch it," I say with irritation.

"Shut it Malfoy," Harry grumbles as he pops the buttons on my jeans and snatches them down.

"The fuck is wrong with you?" I ask sitting up, now annoyed.

Harry tries to ignore my question and kisses me with such intensity that I find it hard to breath. Guess you can say Harry takes my breath away. Lust begins to consume my thoughts, and I feel lightheaded. All I want is for Harry to never stop because I know what type of sex comes with this charged energy, but I know something's not right. With all my willpower I push him off of me.

"What?" Harry snaps.

My steely gray eyes search his misty green ones. A storm is raging within. "What's wrong? I thought you'd be happy with making up with your friends."

Harry sighs and sits back on his heels. "We made up but nothing has changed Draco. The only thing that's changed is me and not for the better."

"I don't understand."

"What's not to understand? You see it and I know you do. I'm a disappointment in everyone's eyes. They all see me as a burden now! We're no longer equals. You're not even mine! I bet I'm just a big joke! The boy who lives! A dysfunctional prat! Even his friends feel nothing but pity for him!" Harry wails.

"Where did this even come from? What are you on about Potter?"

"Draco can you honestly say you love me or am I just a quick fuck. When you're bored you'll go on with your important life and find someone to entertain your high and mighty arse!"

My mouth flew open. "That's not true! How can you honestly think that? I wouldn't waste time with you if I didn't see us as equals. Harry, only you entertain yourself with mindless stuff like that!" I say in my defense.

Harry laughs bitterly. "Yeah I guess you're right. This is just mindless entertainment."

"Why are you doing this? I thought you wanted this, but if you don't there's no need to push me away with harsh words. Just say what you want," I cry.

He shakes his head and covers his face. "Draco, I'm sorry. Just go. I want you to leave."

"But why?" I whine.

"I can't. I just-"

"No. Harry Potter you're not going to push me away just because you don't know what you want. I know what I want and it's you. I'm not leaving till I get some answers."

"How can I give you answers when I don't even know what to be asking myself! I'm not happy Draco. Today just showed me how oblivious my friends are and how I can't rely on them. They don't understand, they don't see."

**"But I see and I'm trying to understand."**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9 Harry

"Sometimes I feel like a hormonal teenaged girl. One minute I'm fine, the next I want to bugger the life out of my boyfriend, and then I just want to cry and throw a fit. I'm a grown man, is it normal to be acting this way? Wait, don't answer that. I already know the answer."

Draco laughs lightly. "So I'm your boyfriend now?"

"I'm pouring out my heart to you and that's the only thing you pick up on?" I cry.

"No no, I heard you. Harry obviously you have some deeper stuff going on that now is becoming too hard to bury with drugs, drinks, and sex," Draco says softly.

I sigh dramatically. "I haven't even had the first two in like a week. And everyone has issues."

"Yeah, but let's not lie Harry, your issues are a little bit bigger. If I heard everything you've been saying right, you were abused as a child, targeted by the most evil wizard in the world from day one, lost many of your friends, you died for crying out loud, and you're practically an addict. God that's a shit load of stuff on your plate."

"When you say it like that, I sound pathetic," I grumbled.

He begins to rub my thigh. We moved from the distracting air of the bedroom to the less distracting air of the kitchen. I sip absently on my cup of tea.

"I don't mean to bring up old issues, but obviously it's taking a toll on you and it has been for awhile now. It's eating away at you."

I laugh bitterly. "It's funny how you can see all this and we just started this thing, whatever it is, while my friends haven't said shit for years. They must be blind because you make it seem like I'm a walking train wreck."

Draco shakes his head. "I don't think they're blind. Obviously they're not, they went all intervention on you didn't they. I think they just don't know how to help without getting negative results. You always storm out on them. Even after today you didn't feel any better and you clearly didn't give a shit about what they were saying. You only went along with it because you wanted to get me in bed."

"Yeah 'cause what they were saying was a bunch of bollocks. They only wanted to see me apologize so they could say they were right all along."

"You hard headed prat, they are right!" Draco exclaims.

Crossing my arms I say, "yeah, but they don't care if I'm screwed up and out of my mind. They just want to be able to say, 'I saw it coming' when I end up in Mongo's ward for the insane!"

"You're such a drama queen!"

"So what! I have every right to be!"

"Yeah, but you don't want help. I'm trying to bloody help you Potter! I was really set on fucking you and you go berserk on me and I'm trying to have a heart and help because I hate seeing you like this but you're making it so hard! Merlin, my cocks hard right now!" Draco shouts in one long breath.

I can't help laughing. "This is exactly how I felt! Serves you right for playing with my body like that!"

"I'm not sure why you're laughing because I can see your boner from a mile away. Doesn't look like the pet in your pants is getting along any better than mine!"

I groan, "Merlin, do not call my penis a 'pet.' If anything it is a monstrous being like a tiger or dragon."

"Don't get cocky, no pun intended. Besides we are so off topic."

"You were the one who started ranting about our 'pets.' What's wrong Draco? Can't get cock off your mind."

He hits me with quite some force behind it. "Do shut up. Please! You are having some serious inner turmoil right now Harry. Maybe we should find something for you to do to express your feeling and thoughts."

"I could just continue to do you," I suggest not so slyly.

Draco sets his mug down. "Okay we are obviously going to get nowhere if we don't have sex right this minute."

"You said it, not me."

Without hesitating, Draco is on my lips and pressing my back against the kitchen counter. I don't waste any time loosening both of our trousers and stripping our shirts. I switch our positions and hoist Draco up on my hips so I can lay him flat on the counter. In the process I knock a few pans on the floor, which clatter loudly but are ignored. I plant kisses on Draco's sharp chin and make my way to his neck, sucking the smooth skin. Draco shimmies all the way out of his trouser and shoves mine down as far as they'll go in my position. My cock springs free and I shudder when Draco's hand brushes lightly over it.

"How long have you been hard Potter?"

I respond by grinding my hips into his. He arches his back, closing any space that remained between us. I wandlessly summon lube on my hand and begin to stroke Draco's cock. Her gasps and bites down on my shoulder. I grunt at the pain, but Draco mercilessly drags his claws down my back. The pain and pleasure threatens to push me over the edge. I close my eyes and try to get a grip just when Draco grabs my eager prick and gives it one solid stroke.

"You don't have to wait," I says breathlessly.

"What?" I manage to ask.

"I can feel the tension all over your body. I'm all yours. Do what you want. You don't have to ask permission, I give you permission."

I could've laughed if Draco hadn't buried his nails even deeper in my skin. I just nod and without hesitation I push my cock into his tight arse. I take my time, moving inch by inch. My chest gets tight and I thank Merlin for the solid surface to support me. Soon I manage to insert myself all the way, to the point where I'm bullocks deep. The heat and pressure on my prick is so rousing and I swear I see stars. Draco let's out the most erotic sound I've ever heard and I open my eyes, only to realize they were closed, to see if he's in pain. His cheeks are flushed and his hair damp, but he gives me a confident nod to continue. I lean in, giving him a grateful kiss and he just grabs my in response. His other hand remains on my back leaving scars and mine rest next to his head, supporting my weight. I look into his crystal gray eyes, speckled with bits of blue, asking for permission with my own eyes for one last time.

Draco licks his soft lips. "Dammit Harry, I swear if you don't move," Draco grunts with irritation.

I take this as a yes and slowly pull out, only leaving in the tip. I push back in till I'm pressed all the way against Draco's arse. I try to concentrate and take my time. I know Draco gave me permission to have my way, but I fear that I'll hurt him, like I seem to do with everyone I love. Suddenly his hand is on my chin, moving my face in his direction.

"Harry please look at me. I want to see you when you climax," Draco says in the softest, most seductive voice I could imagine. I agree to his request and my eyes never leave his. I pick up the pace, but it's still smooth and controlled. It's almost like Draco's gaze has a hold on me. My body's satisfied, almost craves to please Draco. Draco's quiet voice urges me on, asking for more and to go faster, that he trust me and this is what he wants. The air around us is hot and the sound of skin slapping together and deep grunts are the only sounds that fill the room. My balls tighten and I know I'm close. Draco's hands have traveled south and end gripping my arse. I moan at the sensation, it's all overwhelming. The amount of ecstasy I feel blinds me, but I still hear Draco's whispered "I love you," and with those words I'm coming all over the two of us. Draco joins my shouts and I figure he's came too, but I keep my eyes close, fearing that I'll collapse if I don't. We go through the motions, and when our breaths have even I pull out of Draco. He winces as I do so and I kiss him gently. However, I don't stop and the kisses become more urgent because I have to let him know that I heard his whispered confession and I feel the same. Now I know what I want: I want to be with Draco and make him proud. But I'm scared. I'm scared that I'll fail him because I'm weak. So I kiss him, and keep kissing him so he doesn't see the realization in my eyes or the fear in my heart. Eventually we stop and just sit on lay on the counter. I wave my hand, cleaning up our mess and sit up. I watch Draco, his eyes close and his chest rising and falling.

"I love you too," I whisper. One of his eyes cracks open and he smiles.

"Good. I was getting worried that I was making an even greater fool of myself."

"Why would you say that?"

Draco laughs. "Draco Malfoy let Harry bloody Potter bend him over the kitchen counter like a wanton whore and bugger his brains over. Right before the most intense climax ever, he confessed his most secret and confidential emotions. Sounds like some raunchy fanfic to me."

I can't help but laugh too. "Okay, you're right too, but If we did that in a bed don't lie and say it wouldn't have been the best and most satisfying sexual experience you've had in your life.

Draco rolls his eyes. "I wouldn't say all that..." He laughs when he sees my face. "Oh alright, I will say that was pretty great but let's not discredit the counter. I don't think a bed would have made it any better. Actually I don't think where we were doing it even matters, really. Just the whole thing was amazing. It just felt great. Words can't even explain what I felt- what I'm feeling right now."

I blush, "yeah I get that completely."

"Psh, yeah you get it. You were on the receiving end of it Potter. If anyone could understand my feelings better than myself it'd be you."

"Whatever Mr. Know-It-All. I think our sex would even be movie worthy," I say thinking out loud.

"Movie worthy? Only if you mean the pornos," Draco snorts.

"What? No! Muggle movies have that kind of stuff all the time. Sex in the kitchen and stuff."

"You've got to be kidding me! Muggles put that in regular movies?"

"Yeah, in some. The more mature ones. You ever been to a Muggle movie Draco?"

He purses his lips and that answers it for me.

"Well I guess that determines what we'll be doing this evening," I tell him. "Come on lets shower and get dressed."

"Shower or shower shower?"

I laugh. "I guess we'll see when we get in there."

About an hour later, we're out the house and walking to the local cinema. It took a little longer than expected because we had sex in the shower, as expected, but then again on the bedroom floor when that bastard Draco tripped me, and then again against a living room wall on the way out. I gotta admit, Draco's stamina gives mine a run for my money.

"So what are we going to see?" Draco questions me.

I shrug my shoulders. "We'll see what's playing when we get there. I don't go to the movies too often, so I don't really know what's out."

He nods and goes quiet for a moment before asking, "so what are these movies like?"

"Well, there's a big screen up front. Like it's crazy huge and there are speakers that are pretty loud at first, but you get used to it. There are rows of seat and when the movie's about to start it gets pretty dark and also before you can get-"

"It gets dark?"

"Yeah, but it's nothing to worry about. It's better that way because the movie is more enjoyable that way," I tell Draco, but when I look over at him he's got a cheeky grin on and is waggling his eyebrows at me. "The cinema is not a place to engage in sexual activities Draco Malfoy."

He grabs my waist and leans into whisper, "but I'm sure it's been done before, and if we're discreet about it-"

"I'm not going to bugger you in the theater Malfoy," I say rather loudly, causing a few passers bys to shoot me rude looks.

"Oy, shout it to the whole world Potter," he giggles. My cheeks heat and I frown at his childish behavior. "Don't worry about little ol' me. I'll entertain myself."

"Draco, you can get arrested for public indecency! The movie should be enough to entertain you!" I half shout, trying to contain my frustration.

"Calm down, Harry. I'll be on my very best behavior," Draco insists.

"You better be. I can not deal with another Prophet scandal," I groan.

**"Alright, but afterwards we are talking."**


	10. Chapter 10

**_Harry gets a little emotional in this, but just a tad._**

Chapter 10 Draco

The cinema wasn't half bad. Harry bought me a soda and we shared popcorn, even though he hogged most of it. My jaw dropped when the theatre darkened and music began to blast from hidden speakers. As for the movie, I couldn't remember a thing. I was too busy staring at Harry. He looked even more gorgeous when he wasn't wasted or stoned. Well scratch the last part. In the middle of the film, Potter lit something with an aroma that was too sweet to be a simple cigarette. Afterwards Harry had a terrible case of the giggles and was shushed several times. However, that didn't take away from the date like experience and I left the theatre feeling euphoric.

The sun has just begun to set and we walk in a comfortable silence.

"I can't believe you lit a joint in a public place when you had the nerve to lecture me on public decency," I say breaking the silence.

Harry shoves me lightly before taking my hand. My heart flutters at the contact. "Yeah yeah, that movie was boring. I needed some lightning up and I didn't bloody lecture you."

"Yeah but I enjoyed it anyway. Since the no reporters have mobbed us yet, does that mean we should carry on with this date and go out to eat?"

"Sure, I know the perfect place."

We walk a few blocks, hand in hand before reaching a small brick pub with a wooden sign over the entrance reading The Crane.

"It's a nice muggle place. Quiet and lots of privacy. I go here when I need to clear my head," Harry tells me.

I nod and follow him in. The lights are dim and the crowd is sparse. Only a few drunk blokes hang around the rickety tables and there's a rowdy group in the back. Music drifts over the crowd from some unknown source but I can make out John Lennon's voice belt over harmonic guitar chords. Harry and I make our way to one of the many empty booths.

"I'll get us some beer, just wait a sec," he tells me. I wait patiently, humming absently to the song being played overhead. In the blink of an eye Harry is back with two pints and a basket of fish and chips.

"Bon appetite!" Harry exclaims.

"Such exquisite cuisine we have here. I don't know where to start," I say with feign enchantment.

Harry just laughs and digs in himself. He's probably munchy from the pot. I sip on my drink and nibble on a few fries before diving into my interrogation.

"So what was earlier all about? You looked like you were ready to rip my head off."

"You waste no time do you Draco?"

"Don't avoid my question. I don't want to be here all night."

Harry sticks his tongue out at me and I roll my eyes. A moment passes, he sips his beer, and takes a breath. "I can't say exactly what I was feeling or why but I was angry I guess." I just nod, afraid that he won't continue if I say anything. "I didn't want to apologize. I'm still mad at Ash for not telling me about his job and I'm mad at Hermione and him for ganging up on me. And I'm mad that Hermione only wants to hang out when her well established friends are included and make me feel like shit. And Ron for just sitting there letting it happen like a little bitch. We're supposed to be mates. It's not right, none of it."

"You ever tell them that?"

Harry leans back and crosses his arms. "No," he grumbles. "How can I tell them how I feel when I don't even know how I feel half the time?"

I shrug. "You're telling me how you feel now."

"Yeah but this is different. When I'm with you, things are clear. They make sense. I know what I want." He sighs, "but other times it's like there are so many feelings at once. So I take the drugs and drink and fuck because it numbs me. I'm not scared or sad or angry or confused. I don't see dead faces at the back of my eyelids, or hear suffering screams, or feel the guilt. I feel nothing and it's the best feeling ever compared to the other ones," Harry whispers.

I look at Harry and see all the pain on his beautiful face. My heart aches and I wish he was closer so I could touch him.

"It's like, everyone just moved on with their lives after the war. I was stuck, though. I had nothing but a title that I didn't even want and the role as the wizarding world's poster boy. I can't even wank off without it ending up in the papers. I didn't want any of it and I still don't so I try to be the opposite but-" Harry let's out a ragged breath and lays his head on the table. "I just hate everything."

"Bullocks. You don't hate me," I say ruffling his dark locks. He smiles a little before returning to his sullen state.

"I'm not happy Draco. I want to be able to make myself happy and not rely on others but I don't know how."

"Well," I start, "you have me. I promise to stay as long as you need me and together we can find your happiness. We can uncover the Harry Potter you want to be."

"But I don't want to be a burden," he mumbles. "You have your life together. I don't want to mess that up. You're perfect."

I look into his emerald eyes for a long time. I can almost see the actual storm raging inside that thick head of his.

I laugh at the ridiculous thought that comes to mind. "This is going to sound really corny and I'm glad we're in a place so sparsely populated so there are few witnesses to even see me be present while I utter these words."

"Malfoy stop being so dramatic and come out with it," Harry says eagerly.

I raise an eyebrow at his comment, but continue. "I was going to say, I only became perfect when I met you."

Harry groans over dramatically and drags a hand down his face. "Merlin Draco, could you make this situation any more gay?"

At this comment I laugh wholeheartedly. "I swear, Potter. Your moods change too quick. I can't keep up."

"Yeah yeah whatever. Enough with this sappy stuff. What do say to hitting a club or two before heading in?"

I hesitate before answering. I'm not dressed for the club in anyway. While Harry always looks like walking sex in his tight black tshirt, low rise jeans, and dragon hide boots, I look like I just threw on the nearest clothes. Literally, I threw on a wrinkled blue tee and khakis.

Harry frowns. "I'm not going to lose control, Draco. I've got my shit together. Now don't be a downer, let's go out. We're still young!"

I bite my lip and reluctantly agree to his request. Even if I say no, Harry will find a way back into his wildlife.

Harry's shiteating grin hides any previous signs of his somber mood and before I know it, we're leaving the pub and apparating on the spot. Once we end up at our destination and I've regained my senses, I take a look around. We're located in a neighborhood where all the buildings are brick and squeezed tightly together. The streets are littered with trash but otherwise, relatively empty. A police siren wails in the background and I swear I hear trash cans clank around. A gust of wind sends chills through my body and I shove my hands in my pocket, subconsciously making sure I know where my wallets located. The whole place gives me a sense of danger.

Harry guides us to a large black bricked building about two blocks from our landing point. A line of people stand outside the clubs raggedy door which is guarded by a rather fit, blond man in all black. Harry walks straight up to the man as if he knows him, which is probable.

"Phil! Long time no see!" Harry greets.

"Oy! Darren! Right you are. It's been a while. Where have you been?"

Harry links arms with me. "With this man right here."

Phil laughs. "Well he's a lucky one, he is. Darren here has broken many hearts. Probably set the record for this club, probably clubs everywhere too."

"Oh Phil no need to over exaggerate," Harry says. I bet if the sun hadn't already set, you would be able to see Harry blush like a first year.

"I'm not," Phil says this time to me, adding a hazel eyed wink. I feel my face heat from jealousy. Why is Harry flirting with this man. Obviously there have to be other ways to get in. Phil continues, "I'm not going to waste your time, go right in."

Harry smiles, pats Phil's arm, and yet again, drags me along.

When we walk in the club I instantly notice the difference between this one and the warehouse. This is obviously muggle and hopefully this means Harry will be decent.

"Darren?" I question.

Harry laughs, "so when I get arrested at one place, I'm not barred from all places. Come on now, let's get drinks."

I just shake my head and follow Harry through the crowds. I make sure to take in my environment and look around. The brick walls are exposed on the inside and same for the rafters that make up the ceilings. Christmas lights are draped here and there but overall, all the lights are red, giving off a sinister look. The music is fast but the people dance slow and intense. Here and there drugs are slipped between hands and I know this club is far from innocent.

When we reach the bar and sit down, I instantly start questioning Harry. "Potter what is this place?"

He smiles as he conjures two red drinks. "Don't worry, it's just colored red. Taste it, it's good."

I take the glass but don't look away from Harry. "You didn't answer me. What is this place? What's it called?"

"Drink and I'll tell you. Don't judge a book by it's cover Draco. Give it a chance."

I sigh and take a frustrated sip from the cup. Instantly coughs erupt from me and my throat is on fire. "That shit was bloody strong!" I exclaim.

Harry laughs. "Don't sip on it like that! Take it like firewhiskey! Take it like a man!"

I scowl but do as he says. Second time around I chug my drink and that's when I feel it. My body tingles and my tongue fizzles like from a soda. It's sweet but strong as hell. I go in for another round.

"See! I told you it was good. Go on now! Finish it!"

I smile, now feeling bubbly and go about finishing my drink. Harry does the same but I notice him pull out two little candy like pills. My mind sends up flares but I notice the room slow down like the people and I can't find my voice. I laugh because it's so silly how Harry thinks he's clever. Harry takes another sip of his drink but pops both pills in his mouth. Next thing I know he's leaning in and his lips are on mine. I laugh again because Harry seems so serious. His eyes and everything are closed, like we don't kiss all the time.

"Welcome to the Devils Pit, Draco."

We had been on the dance floor for forever, it seemed. I grinded against Harry, his heart beat radiating through my back. We were two hot bodies in one mass of hot bodies that seemed massive but was minuscule compared to the rest of the world. The music boomed and the bass carried through us all, our heart rates adjusting to the rhythm. Everyone in the club became one entity and I didn't know where I started or where Harry began. Sometimes it wasn't even his lips on my lips or his hands on my exposed skin. But I didn't care because for once in my life I was free. Free of my mind and body. I look back at Harry but to my surprise it was a different brunette who groped me. I smile at the man and peel myself from his grasp. How long had it been since Harry left my side? Why hadn't he said anything? I start to feel irritated but I giggle at the attempt to hold serious feelings. I begin to make my way through the crowd in search of Harry. When passing a tall figure I hear a bit of conversation that catches my attention.

"Yeah did you see him? I talked to the famous Darren! He was all over me! Too bad-"

I snatch the arm of the figure, which turns out to belong to a pretty woman. "Excuse me, did you say Darren?"

The woman snatches her arm from me, flips her brown hair over her bony shoulder, and glares at me. "Yeah what about it?"

"Do you know where he went?" I ask slowly. My head begins to ache, slowing my thoughts.

She purses her ruby red lips and squints at me. "No, but he probably left," she says shortly.

"Ease up Renee," a short squat girl next to her says.

I sigh impatiently. "Could you tell me how long ago did he leave?"

This time the girl, Renee, crosses her arms. "What's it to you anyway?"

"I just want to know, please. We came together and he's my way home," I half lie.

"Blondie can't find his own way home? Poor baby."

"Oh Renee," says the short girl, rolling her eyes. "He only left about fifteen minutes ago. Give or take a few minutes."

"After he spent to longest time all on my mouth. Couldn't get enough. I'm surprised he didn't take me home," she says with a sly smile. Her whole face tells me that she's purposely grating on my nerves. Somehow she knows that Harry is important to me or she's just a possessive bitch.

"Thanks a lot, have a good night," I say, mostly to the short girl.

"No problem. Try the back. It's the easiest way to get out."

I smile at her and turn away, heading towards the back door. I struggle through the crowd but finally make it to the plain metal door. I push the old thing open and step into an alleyway. The air is cool on my sweaty face and I take a second to clear my head. When I reopen my eyes I make a quick search of the area. I don't see Harry so I walk a little further down to wear the street lamps' light don't reach. The creepiness of it all makes me clutch my wand tightly. Something rattles and I stop in my tracks.

"Harry," I say in a weak voice, more to myself. Deciding to abandon my search, I turn on my heels and head towards the street. Harry obviously ditched me and there's no point in hanging around. Once I reach the street, I realize that around these parts it doesn't get any lighter. The street lamps only illuminate about a five foot radius around them and as far as I can see, the rest of the street is empty. The only sound is the bass from the club, giving off an eery heart beat sound, like it's alive.

"Only going to walk to the next corner before apparating out of this bloody shit hole," I murmur to myself.

"Hey blondie."

I spin on my heels to see a tall strange man. In the dimness I can see that he has dark hair and a lean figure but that's about it.

"Can I help you?"

The man smiles, his teeth reflecting the orange light, giving him a sinister look.

"You just looked lost is all. Need some help?"

I laugh. "I'm not some little kid crying for their mum. Thanks for the offer," I tell him and turn back around. I only take a few steps before I hear the pitter patter of his feet. I grab my wand, ready to strike before I see him throw up his hands.

"Woah honestly, I'm not trying to attack you or anything-"

"Theodore Nott? Bloody hell is that you?"

He smiles again, this time looking a little less evil.

"I thought that was you Malfoy. I couldn't let you just walk away without knowing for sure."

I laugh a little, letting out a breath. "I thought you were some creep about to attack me and ravish my body. Merlin, you are creepy!"

"Will you stop saying that?" He laughs.

"Nott it's dark as hell out here. Let's get some coffee or something."

He nods and takes my arm, the two of us apparating off into the night.

_**Harry**_

"Are you sure you're alright?" She asks. I forgot her name already. I kind of forgot where I was. For a minute I forgot what I was doing until I felt the familiar pressure on my crotch and let a moan escape my lips. I feel a separate pair of lips caress my ear and several hands tickle my body.

I sigh, "yes. I'm definitely alright."

Girls' giggles follow my response. "Do you want some coke?"

Before I even realize what I'm doing, I'm nodding my head. I see one girl through the blur lay down, another sprinkle a line on cocaine on her and prepares a tiny tube for me to snort with and the last girl kisses on my neck. It all feels perfect but I can't help feeling like I'm forgetting something.

_**Draco**_

I sit in a little diner, lit up with fluorescent lights and heat blasting through the radiator to warm my chilled joints. A cup of coffee sits in both Nott's and my hands. We just finished laughing like fools and reminiscing about our Hogwarts days. It's nice to have someone to talk to about when we were kids without any hard feelings. It's also nice to have someone who had to live the tragic life of a pure blood too.

"So what brought you to the club tonight?" Nott asks me casually but I keep my guard up. I won't let the remaining drugs in my system make me careless.

I shrug, nonchalantly and say, "oh I was with a friend and we parted ways. I was heading home until you scared the bloody hell out of me."

Nott laughs lightly. He's really grown into his body. He's no long frail and bony, but tall and thin. His frame is much like mine but almost in dancer-like. His hair is gelled, giving him a classy look and his teeth are perfect which is great for someone who smiles so much. His jaw is perfectly defined and his dark eyes are gentle. This man is pure blood perfection and someone my parents would be proud if I brought him home.

"What were you doing there? Go there often?" I continue.

"Sounds like a cliché pick up line," he chuckles. "But to answer you question, no. I was also only there with friends. I thought I saw you weaving through the crowd and I had to know."

I nod and take another sip of my coffee. The caffeine and bright atmosphere gradually is bringing my mind back to earth, but the drugs give me a hard time.

"That was sweet of you. We should get together sometime and have a real date when I'm not piss drunk and high," I giggle.

"You're not that drunk. And yeah I'll owl you."

"Yeah, what have you been up to?

Got a good job? Discover a new band? Moved or traveled recently? Had any good sex?" I ramble.

"I work in the Ministry in an irrelevant department. I discovered this muggle band the Arctic Monkeys which you should definitely check out. I went to Australia to visit family, and no not really. I for sure need a good buggering," he answers in a breath.

"Wow sounds good. Well I work at Mungo's as a healer. I haven't discovered any new bands so I will check the Arctic Mongoose-"

"Monkeys."

"Monkeys out. I went to Spain a few months ago which was beautiful. And I've been having some very memorable sexual moments recently."

Nott waggles his eyebrows. "Do tell. Who's the lucky person?"

"Who he is, is none of your business. Just know that my sex life is better than yours," I tease.

Nott laughs. "Fuck you mate. I should've just lied. I was hoping to get some tonight actually."

"Yeah me too but my date ditched me."

"I don't know why. Draco Malfoy, Merlin you have grown, and if it's possible you've gotten even more attractive with age."

I blush. To be honest I'm not use to people flirting with me. Before Harry I just went to work, stayed home, and occasionally went out for drinks with Hermione. That doesn't give me much time to socialize and being a former deatheater doesn't help either. I usually just settle for quick blows and a forgetful shag in the bathroom stall of a club. Being with Harry has shown me there's so much more to life and sex.

I look at Nott, seeing a little more than I did before. "Please, you're exaggerating."

"Since when has a Malfoy been modest?"

I shrug. "I've changed a lot. I'm sure we all have," I tell him softly.

Nott places a hand on my arm and rubs softly. "And for the better, I'm sure," he continues. Nott smiles at me sweetly but his eyes are sensuous and I feel my face heat. I reach for my cup with both my hands to break contact. Nott's smile wilts a little, but I know what he wants. I couldn't sleep with him without feeling the smallest amount of guilt. Harry and I aren't exclusive but that doesn't ease my conscience.

We are both silent for a while, drinking the remains of our coffee.

"It's pretty late, I should get going," Nott mutters, adding to the awkwardness.

I nod and begin to stand. "It was great seeing you again. Do owl me," I say overly friendly.

"Let me walk you out," Nott offers before I have a chance to escape.

We leave the diner together and walk down the street till there's a fork in the road. I turn to Nott and go for a hug but he slyly kisses me. I don't pull away, curiosity getting the better of me.

His lips are soft and almost hesitant. It's not what I'm used too, but nice. I don't know if it's the drugs or what I actually want, but I part my lips letting Nott's tongue into my mouth. He deepens the kiss and his hands tighten on my waist. I roll my hips against his and tug his hair a little, making him moan. My cock begins to take over but I pull apart before I do anything I'd regret. Our lips are just a hairs length away and I whisper, "night Theo."

Nott stares at me with confusion, looking silly with his hair out of sorts and his lips swollen. I just laugh.

"Night?" he says, adding to my amusement.

**I step back and apparate, ending the night with a happy note.**


	11. Chapter 11

_**WARNING: there is self harm in this and things that might be a trigger. So feel free to skip this chapter. Sorry the stories so long anyway. I just don't think it's ready to end yet.**_

Chapter 11 Harry

_So much heat. My skin prickled and I could barely hold back the coughs that wracked my body. I looked down at my feet and saw that I was running. On both side of me Ron and Hermione was running too. The whole room was ablaze and I realized we were in the room of requirement. Suddenly we were all on brooms, rocketing away from the fiendfyre flames and then I saw them. Draco and Zabini sat stranded on top of a large pile of junk, trying to escape their deaths. They held onto each other like old lovers and I couldn't leave them. I dove down to save them but when I got there, fear was no longer in their eyes. Zabini had his arms wrapped around Draco's waist and rested his head in the crook of Draco's neck. Zabini kissed the exposed skin and Draco sighed with bliss._  
_"You don't deserve him," Zabini said._  
_My outstretched hand fell in confusion. "What?"_  
_"You don't really love Draco. You only care about yourself."_  
_"That's not true!" I shout._  
_"He needs someone to really care for him. To love him and please him," Zabini said as his hands slipped down into the front of Draco trousers. Draco let out an erotic moan at the gesture. My face grew hot and it wasn't because of the fire._  
_"You can't fulfill his needs Harry Potter," Zabini said right before falling backwards, off the makeshift tower, still holding onto Draco. Down went him and Draco into the blistering flames._  
_I tried to scream, to jump with them, but wizened hands held me back._  
_"You killed him, Harry Potter," said a familiar voice. I twisted in their grip, breaking free and suddenly I was no longer in the room of requirement. I was standing at the entrance of Hogwarts, right after the war. Voldemort stood in front of me wearing a wicked grin. He held out his arms and laughed. "You killed them all!"_  
_I turned to see all my loved ones, lying dead on the ground. Innocent bodies lay one on top of the other at crooked angles with lifeless eyes._

I jerk awake, the lumpy bed creaking beneath my weight. My breaths are quick and I bite down on my tongue to keep from screaming. I look around, trying to gather my wits. I can see it's still dark outside from the curtain less window next to the bed. In the actual bed lay three girls, all naked and fast asleep. I press the heels of my hands against my eyes, trying to force myself to remember but I come up blank. All I know is Draco isn't here and it leaves me feeling unsettled after that dream. My whole body trembles and I grip the dingy sheets tighter, trying to control the shaking. My efforts fail, so I decide to slither from in between the girls and search for the loo.  
After fumbling around in the dark, I locate a tiny bathroom. It's extremely hard to take a piss when I discover how erect my penis is and I end up making a mess and cursing a lot in the process. Nonetheless, my cock is still hard and making me extremely uncomfortable. I lean over the sink and close my eyes. I think about Draco, how soft his lips are and how he always looks so innocent in the most sinful positions. One hand grips the sink while the other slips down my chest, slowly yet purposeful, just how Draco does. The ghost of Draco's touch lingers on my skin and I shiver. Draco always plays so I make sure to touch everywhere but my begging cock, leaving my body aching for more. I stroke lightly around my waist then tug at my balls. My fingers run up and down my thighs and I almost forget that I'm supposed to be taking my time. I imagine Draco laughing and saying "patience Potter." I take a deep breath and bite my lip hard enough to draw blood. Leisurely, I reach my penis. I start at the base before tightly gripping myself and stroking all the way to the tip. I try to keep my rhythm measured and steady, occasionally rubbing a finger over the head. Yeah that feels great. I tighten my grip on the sink as I tighten the grip on my cock. "I know you want more" I imagine Draco telling me and I pick up the pace. I want Draco, need him so bad. His tight arse on my wanting cock is all I can see at the back of my eyelids and I'm coming the quickest I've ever came before. My seed spews all over my stomach and the bathroom tile. I sag over the sink, trying to catch my breath.  
"Shit," I whisper. I look at my mess, the mess usually shared with Draco's and I find myself getting hard again. "What the bloody hell?"  
I sigh in defeat, wandlessly cleaning up the mess and walking back to the bed room. In the dark I can't find my clothes so I go to search the rest of the apartment. I only find the remains of a black shirt which was probably mine, my boots and my trousers. My wallet and wand are missing, only a pair of ticket stubs is left. I pull on my jeans and sit on the couch. A half smoked joint and a lighter lay on the glass coffee table. Perfect. I light the joint and take a smoke, letting my nerves unwind. My fingers drift to the stubs in my pocket and I take them out to read them. Last night was supposed to be a great night but I can't help feeling like actual shit. Even going out with Draco didn't make me feel better. Everyday I'm getting worse. I feel a tear hit my cheek and quickly wipe it away. I bet Draco is mad that I ditched him. I don't even know how it happened. I'm such a fucking idiot. Hermione and Ash and everyone are right. I'm a complete screw up. The tears come rushing at that thought and I lean over my knees gasping, the pain knocking the breath out of me. I'm so pathetic. How do people see me as a hero when I can't even save myself? All I can see are those I let down and I get up and smash my fist against the coffee table. It completely shatters and tiny shards fly everywhere. I'm not satisfied, though. I take one of the larger shards and begin to slit my wrists in frenzy. There's blood everywhere but it's not enough. It's never going to be enough. I'm never going to be enough.  
"What are you doing?"  
I look up through the tears and see a girl standing against one of the walls, arms folded. I can barely see her in face in the shadows but the rest of her pale skin almost shines. I don't answer so she walks over to me.  
"You'll hurt your feet," I manage to voice.  
"Toss me your boots."  
I do as she says and she slides the oversized shoes onto her slender feet. She crunches over the glass and sits down beside me.  
I sniffle. "I'm sorry for breaking your table."  
She shrugs. "It's not even mine. You feel better?"  
I scoff at the question. "No."  
"Well let's patch you up."  
She gets up and leaves only to shortly return with some disinfectant and gauze. While she works on my wounds I examine her face. Her brown hair is cut very short and just barley falls in her eyes. Her eyes are a very beautiful blue that contrast with her pale skin. Her pink lips and cheeks just asked to be kisses and her face screams youth. She could be younger than me. She's pretty but not in a traditional way. Everything about her is boyish from her haircut to her small chest and narrow hips.  
"What's your name?" She asks, catching me starring.  
"Harry."  
"Nice to meet officially you, Harry. Last night you told me you were Darren. I'm Cody."  
"What happened last night? I can't find any of my stuff."  
"Me and my friends met you at this club, the Tiger Dragon. The only thing you had with you were your clothes, a few euros and a stick-"  
"Where's that at?"  
"What? The stick?"  
"Yeah."  
She laughs. "Right at the front table with the keys. I was going to throw it out."  
I jump up but she pulls me back down. "It's not going anywhere. You're still bloody."  
I nod but feel a little lighter knowing I didn't lose my wand.  
"Thank you so much but I should be going."  
"Dude, you just had a mental break down. I'm not letting you go. Besides, the others won't be up till like ten. Why are you even up?"  
I shrug and decide to be honest. "Bad dream."  
She nods, understanding falling over her face.  
"You have them too?" I ask, surprise in my voice.  
"I had a rough child hood and for a long time it was like living in a nightmare."  
"Yeah I get that."  
She laughs a little. "I can see that. Do you want to talk about it? Your dream I mean."  
Images of dead bodies and wicked laughs fill my mind. The room starts to spin and I grip Cody's hands tightly.  
"You don't have to. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring up bad thoughts." She places a small hand on my face as she says this. "You're safe. It was just a dream. You're fine."  
"I'm sorry." I wipe my teary eyes. "I should be used to them by now. It's just, this one was different. He died. I let him die. I let them all die."  
Cody grabs my shoulders and pulls me into a hug. Her tiny body supports my huge one but she takes it like its nothing. All of this makes me feel even smaller.  
"I should go, really," I say between sniffles.  
"Harry you don't even have a shirt."  
I look down at my bare chest, wiping my tears and feel even more pathetic.  
"Listen, if you let me take you home, you're free to go."  
I smile a little. "That'd be great."  
"Stay here. There's still glass."  
About twenty minutes later, the glass is cleaned up, I'm in my clothes and a tight t-shirt borrowed from Cody, and my wand is in my pocket. Cody wears a pair of loose fitting jeans and a hoodie, looking even more like a boy. We leave the apartment and walk in silence. Once we reach outside, it's still dark but you can see the sun rising over building tops.  
"So... Where do you live?" Cody asks.  
I almost laugh. I completely forgot Cody was a muggle and we couldn't just apparate to my flat. We have to take public transportation. I tell her my address and admit to not knowing where I was. An hour later we're on my part of town, heading towards my building.  
"Who knew you lived so bloody far."  
I shrug and pull out a cigarette. "Thanks for taking me home."  
"No problem. I was up anyway."  
"Yeah and why was that?"  
"Had to pee."  
I laugh, shoving her shoulder. "I like you Cody... Last name?"  
"Price. Dakota Price. A very classy name for a classy girl."  
"Yes your sweatshirt and jeans scream class and elegance."  
"Yeah whatever. What's your last name?"  
"Potter."  
"Harry Potter, how dull. Something I'd name my cactus."  
"Don't be rude," I laugh. We get to my flat and I turn to her. "Thanks for everything, again."  
She nods and takes out a pen. "Give me your pack of fags." I do as she tells me and she writes on them. "That's my number if you ever need anything and my address. I don't live where we just came from. I live in little flat in downtown London. Visit me any time after noon. I have classes in the morning."  
"Wow, all that on this tiny pack of cigarettes. Score!"  
"Don't be cheeky. I just took a liking to you is all."  
"Most people do. Girls and guys alike."  
She rolls her eyes and turns away. "Nice to meet you Harry Potter. I look forward to spending more time together."  
I watch her walk all the way down the hallway and get onto the lift. Once she's out of sight I walk inside and only make it to the couch before collapsing.

I manage to go three whole days in complete isolation. I ignore all calls and owls and any attempt to get in contact with me. I enjoy moping around in my boxers, drinking my troubles away but on the fourth day I'm interrupted.  
A loud banging at my front door wakes me from my drunken stupor. I groan and roll deeper into my bed sheets, throwing pillows over my head.  
"Harry Potter open up!"  
"Gin?" I whisper to myself, wincing at the sound. I get up, knowing that's the only way to stop the agonizing noise and practically crawl to the front door.  
As soon as I open up, Ginny Weasley barges in smelling of roses and broom wax.  
"Ginny? What are you doing here?" I ask, squinting at the light seeping in.  
"You sir, have upset the whole wizarding community. Draco is at wits ends because he thinks he did something wrong and Hermione or whatever is worried you're off doing drugs and the family thinks you're cutting all strings with us because you missed Sunday dinner-"  
"Oh shit I completely forgot."  
She rolls her eyes. "Yeah no kidding. Anyways, it's obvious that no one was brave enough to actually go to your house. So I, being sick of hearing everyone complain about your whereabouts, went to retrieve you. Also, it's quite rude of you to just ignore everyone."  
"I was just enjoying time to myself-"  
"Let's just go show everyone you're alive so my job can be done. I'm only doing this because I'm sick of hearing everyone whine over you."  
"No! I mean, I have plans actually," I tell Ginny when she raises an eyebrow at my protest.  
She crosses her arms. "Where?"  
"Uh... I have to visit a friend. We're going out for- what time is it?"  
She checks her silver watch on her thin wrist. "Quarter past noon."  
"For lunch, yeah so I should get dressed."  
"I can't believe you're going to lunch. You look like actual shite. Have you been drinking?"

"Why does it matter?"

"Whatever. It doesn't but if it's just lunch you won't mind if I come along right? Then we can go see Hermione and Ron."  
"Actually I would prefer-"  
"Don't be rude Harry. I came all this way just to check on you."  
I sigh in defeat. "Fine. Give me a moment to get dress."  
I leave her at the front door and go throw on a green shirt, a pair of old jeans, and a battered pair of sneakers. I freshen up a little and try to flatten my hair before giving up and grabbing my most recent carton of cigarettes.

"Hurry up Harry!" Ginny calls from outside the bedroom. Rushing, I don't even bother taking a quick hangover potion and just grab a pair of shades.  
"Ready," I tell Ginny as I emerge from my bedroom.  
"Took you long enough," Ginny responds, flipping her long red hair. I reluctantly take her arm and we apparate to the address Cody gave me. We're outside a small building. The city of London booms around us. People go to and fro, paying no attention to the people who just appeared on the sidewalk. As if on cue, I see Cody walking up the street in our direction. She looks cute in a blue hoodie and old cut off shorts with a pair of sneakers. Her book bag almost looks too big for her tiny frame and bounces as she walks. I wave when she gets close enough and she smiles.  
"I hope you weren't waiting long. I got out from uni a little late. Is this your friend?" Cody asks when she finally reaches us.  
I look over at a suspicious looking Ginny and nudge her with my elbow. "Yes this is my friend Ginny who decided to come along to eat lunch with us. Ginny this is Cody."  
Ginny holds out a hand and smiles genuinely this time. "Nice to meet you."  
"Yeah same. I'm glad you could join us and glad you even decided to come, Harry," Cody says as she takes her hand. "Let me just drop off my bag and we can get going." Cody runs up the stairs to the building and disappears inside.  
"How old is she?! She looks like a twelve year old boy," Ginny exclaims.  
"Yeah that's how I like them," I say with an eye roll.  
"She muggle? Only muggles go to uni."  
"Yes she's muggle," I groan.  
"Where did you meet her? Her mom needed a baby sitter?"  
"She's not even that young Ginny!" I say trying to convince her but she just laughs.  
Twenty minutes later, we're all seated at a round table in a cute café, each with a cup of tea.  
"So Cody, how did you and Harry meet?"  
"At a club-"  
I start choking loudly on my tea. Ella pats my back while Ginny rolls her eyes. When I settle down, I immediately answer the question. I don't want Ginny knowing anything about my social life.  
"We met at a pub," I tell her.  
"I thought Cody just said a club?"  
Cody laughs. "No you misheard me. I said a pub, Taylor's to be exact."  
"Don't think I've heard of that place. How long ago?" Ginny continues.  
"Not too long ago actually. We just really hit it off."  
"Yeah Cody is just amazing, I really like her," I continue.  
"So you're dating? Because I swore you were getting pretty serious with Draco, Harry. And then before that, that guy Ashton. And in between them quite a few girls and boys here and there. If he didn't tell you Cody, Harry is definitely a player. He gets around a lot."  
"Ginny!" I exclaim. "We're just friends!"  
"Oh yeah I was just worried about your boyfriend, or are you guys 'just friends' too?"  
"What? You're gay?" Cody asks, confused. "But we had-"  
"A great time together the other night, yes. And no I'm not-"  
"He's a go with the flow man. If it moves he'll shag it. Does not discriminate. Boy, girl, fairy, werewolf," Ginny says with a wink. "It's just, you look like a sweet girl. I don't want this bastard to break your heart. I'm a very good and honest friend of his. How old are you darling?"  
I grind my teeth in frustration. Yes, me and Ginny remained friends after the break up but she always made it her job to embarrass me. It's like she lives for these moments.  
"I actually started school a little early so I'm only seventeen but-"  
"Did you know that Harry's twenty-two? He's not that much older but still, you should know."  
"That's enough Ginny," I say sternly.  
Ginny just bats her eyelashes and flips her hair. "I was just getting to know Cody. That's a pretty name by the way. I was meaning to tell you that."  
Cody smiles sweetly and puts a delicate hand on my arm. "It's ok Harry. And thank you Ginny."  
"See Harry, you're being over dramatic," Ginny tells me.  
"So Ginny, how long have you know Harry. You seem to know about his relationship styles. Did you date him?"  
Ginny puts on a strained smile. "Yeah. For a while but things didn't go so well and we called it off in the end."  
"So are you dating anyone now?"  
"Yeah I met this really great guy while on tour-"  
"Tour for what?"  
"Um, tour for-"  
"She's a pro athlete," I say smiling, looking forward to the lie Ginny will come up with. "Tell Cody about what you play Ginny."  
She glares at me but answers. "Well it's played with sticks and, uh there is a ball and goals and-"  
"You play lacrosse? I didn't know there were any pro teams outside of the states. My brothers used to play that."  
"Yeah well, that's what I play. Lacrosse. I play for a little team. No big deal-"  
"Being a pro is a big deal though! Or is it not hard to get recognized in such an unpopular sport?"  
"It kind of is a big deal. I just don't like to brag."  
"Ginny tell Cody about your family. You have brothers too."  
"Well I have six older brothers. Its five now, one passed away but when I was a kid there was never a dull moment in my house. Things are a lot calmer now that everyone has moved out and started their own family."  
"Yeah I have two. They're twins and you could never tell the difference if you didn't know them. They were always there for me. Through all the hard times. Anyway, you said all yours have started a family. Have you?"  
Ginny blushes which is almost a strange sight to see. "No, not yet. I'm much too young."  
"Oh nonsense. I'm the one that's young," Cody tells her.  
Thank Merlin, our waiter finally comes, interrupting and ending all previous conversation. We eat in silence, making occasional small talk. I hope Ginny stays quiet.  
When we're done, I pay for lunch and we get up to part ways.  
"It was nice spending time with Ginny, but me and Cody were going to-"  
"Actually Harry you said we were going to go see Hermione afterwards. Cody is more than welcome to join us but you wouldn't want to upset your friends."  
"Actually I never said that and I'm pretty sure Cody doesn't want to spend any more time with you."  
Ginny pouts. "No need to be so mean Harry. I really like Cody. You wouldn't mind would you?"  
Cody looks between Ginny and I. My eyes beg her to say no but Ginny's dare Cody to challenge her.  
"No no, I should probably get started on my work. Harry and I were just going to hang out at my flat."  
"Great," Ginny and I say at the same time, the latter sounding less sarcastic than the other.

"I guess I'll be seeing you around," Ginny tells Cody in a tight voice.

"Yes indeed," Cody answers.

I hug Cody and bid my farewell. Reluctantly, I turn back to Ginny, taking her arm and prepare to leave with her.

**We're in for one hell of a ride.**


	12. Chapter 12

_**This chapter is a tad bit shorter than usual but I'm in the process of writing the next. Sorry for the wait btw. I wrote it and then I thought it was crap so I had to change everything. I've never asked this, but if you guys have any ideas about what you'd like to happen I'd love to hear them. Review and the next chapter will be up shortly.**_

Chapter 12 Draco

For the first time ever I got an invite from the Weasleys. Actually Hermione was taking a class to get another certification and she wanted my help. It just so happened that she was at the Weasley's house, Ron being her boyfriend and everything. Being the good friend I am, I couldn't decline and I found myself spending Wednesday afternoon surrounded by red heads. Coincidentally, most of the Weasleys were home.

"Thanks so much for coming," Hermione greets as she leads me into the burrow.

"No problem. I was surprised that Hermione Granger was asking _me _for help," I answer, following Hermione into what I assume is the dining room. Her papers cover the table that serves as her desk. "Why are you here anyway?"

She shrugs. "You're the only one who's better at potions than me and I would like to get certified in medicinal potion making. And to answer your second question, guess I just need a change of scenery."

"Harry worrying you too?" I ask when I hear a sigh from a different room.

"That's either Ron or maybe even George."

"George? Doesn't he run a shop?"

"Yeah but it's pretty big now. He doesn't have to always be in store," Hermione answers as she takes a seat. I follow her lead and begin looking at her notes.

"If you say so. Anyway this recipe isn't right. You want to cure paralyzation, not liquify their bones."

"I did _not _write down a recipe for the potion version of jelly legs jinx," Hermione exclaims, snatching the paper from me. I just laugh at her red face.

"How are you so calm and collected anyway? I thought you and Harry were inseparable."

I shrug, masking the real emotions churning inside. "It's not like we were official or anything. We just liked hanging out with each other."

Hermione scoffs. "Am I mental or did you not come into work one day singing, talking about 'not to be over dramatic or anything but I think I have a boyfriend,'" Hermione says mimicking my voice.

I hit her with a folder. "I do not sound like that!"

"'And guess what his name is. Harry bloody Potter!'"

"Hermione Granger I swear-"

"'And I haven't even mentioned the sex.'"

I jump up. "That's enough Granger! No need to tell the whole world!"

Hermione just bursts in a fit of giggles. She's nearly crying.

"Didn't know Malfoys were even capable of turning colors."

I turn to see Ginny standing in the doorway. The smirk on her stupid ginger face is evidence that she heard our conversation.

"Hello Ginevra," I say trying to calm myself.

"Hello Draco, fancy seeing you here. I like the color of your shirt. Matches your face."

I instantly regret wearing my pink shirt and clench my jaw, trying to contain the anger and embarrassment.

"They're in here Harry!" Ginny shouts.

I instantly pale at that name. I look to Hermione but she looks as dumbstruck as I do. Ron and George all scurry into the kitchen at the mention of Harry's name.

"Full house, eh?" Harry says, slinking in like he hadn't been avoiding us all for days. Other than looking a little pale, he looks pretty good, as always. Harry doesn't bother to remove his shades, he just casually leans against one of the walls.

We all are silent for a while, before Ron speaks up. "Not to be rude, it's nice to see you Harry, but what the bloody hell are you doing? I thought you kidnapped by drug lords you pissed off or something and that'd be the end of my best mate! You can't just bloody stroll in here like you weren't missing for three days."

"I wasn't missing. I was at home. Enjoying my time alone. It's not like I got invite to this party, or is this another Harry intervention?" Harry accuses with bitterness in his voice.

"Fat chance of us getting an invite through when you had all your wards up," Ginny mutters.

Harry clenches his jaw. "Well I'm here now so everyone can calm down. You guys can go back to your daily lives."

"Yes, everyone listen to our savior," Ginny says, sarcasm seeping into her voice, and making an exit.

An awkward moments passes and eventually everyone does the same. Hermione and I take our places back at the table and continue to work. Harry stands at the doorway for a wall, looking absently into the distance. His dark shades and still body makes him look almost fake; it's unsettling. Five minutes go by before Harry moves. He begins making a cup of tea. He whistles an unfamiliar, un harmonious tune that grates my nerves. He repeatedly slams cabinet doors and clinks dishes together that don't need to be clinked.

"Will you bloody stop that!" Hermione shouts, slamming down her quill.

"Stop what?" Harry asks, feigning innocence.

"You know what I'm talking about Harry," Hermione says through gritted teeth.

"I'm just making a cup of tea. Would you like one too?"

Hermione's face turns livid and before she goes off I grab her arm.

"Let's take a break shall we?" I suggest.

Hermione wastes no time and storms out the room. Harry is just idly stirring his now finished cup, clinking the spoon against the china. I too feel irritation turn to anger and follow Hermione out of the kitchen. I find her out back, looking through the garden. I take my place beside her and wait for her to talk.

"Honestly it's like he's not even the same person anymore. I don't even remember the last time Harry and I had a good time together! Do you?" she questions.

I think about her question and smile. I can remember some very very good times between Harry and I."

"Scratch that. Don't answer. I know what you're thinking about."

I laugh when she says this. "Hermione granger I would hate to think that you think I'm so single minded."

"Oh Draco, don't act like you weren't thinking about sex and Harry's huge cock," she says dramatically.

"Merlin Hermione! No need to be so vulgar. Why must we always revert back to my sex life? Let's talk about what it's like buggering Weasley."

"Oh it's great and if you were ever curious, the carpet does match the drapes. He's even got little freckles down there."

"No no no. I did not just hear that. Never mind let's please never talk about Weasley's freckly prick again."

Hermione bursts out in laughter. "Ok ok. But really, Harry has become insufferable lately and I have no clue what to do. It's like the more I help the more I push him away."

"Yeah he's fickle like that. I don't think even he knows what he wants."

"I should just blow him."

"Hermione! Enough!"

"Jealous? I didn't mean to cross a line."

"Granger I swear, I have no idea where this vulgar creature came from!" I squeal.

"I'm just playing Draco."

"I'm starting to believe that you're harboring a secret crush on Potter."

She shrugs. "Aren't we all a little smitten with Harry? Girl or boy, straight or gay, we all would sleep with Harry Potter if we could. We'd all do whatever we could to make him happy. Everyone does it for their own reason: the idea of pleasing the chosen won, his money, his body, his fame, just him. Doesn't matter what your reason is but you'll do anything for him. I just want to make Harry whole again. I'll do anything," she says softly.

I look into her face and see only genuine love for Harry. Not the type of love from a lover or admirer, but rather the type you'd get from your own flesh and blood.

"Yeah that's completely it," I whisper. We remain silent for a while, enjoying each other's company. Then we finally make our way back inside. Harry's still in the kitchen but this time he sits at the table, reading a Witch Weekly magazine that probably belonged to Mrs. Weasley. We take our places across from him. Harry stretches his legs out and his socked foot brushes against my leg, making me tense. I look up at him but I can't read his face with those sunglasses on.

"Hey can you look over this paper?" Hermione mutters to me and I nod, taking the sheet covered in formulas. While I study Hermione's work it feel Harry's foot run back over my leg. This time I'm less jumpy and ignore him.

We all go on in a peaceful quiet until Harry's foot runs up my leg. He's intently looking at his magazine but I know he's playing games that I don't want to be apart of. I shift my position, shaking Potter off of me. Harry slides down in his chair. He uses his new position to put both feet on me. With much force he pries my legs open. He slides one slender foot along the inside of my thigh and I hold my breath. Harry begins to massage my crotch, with slow deep motions. It takes everything inside of me not to cry out. I bite my lip and concentrate on the papers in front of me. I'm about to point out one of Hermione's mistakes when suddenly Harry hits exactly where my penis is and makes one long, hard stroke. My whole face flushes and bury my head in my hands.

"Draco you alright there? My work isn't that bad is it?" Hermione questions.

Harry laughs and my head snaps up to glare at him. "No no, it's fine. I'm fine," I assure.

"Alright then..."

Harry clears his throat. "I feel like a distraction. I'm going to go home but feel free to visit me as I did you," Harry says, flashing me a sly smile. I get the hint.

"Yeah actually Hermione. I'm tired of staring at all this work. Can we continue this later? Owl me and we'll schedule another time."

Hermione eyes us with suspicion but doesn't make a comment. "Alright. It was nice seeing you. Some more than others, but pleasant all the same," she tells us.

Harry's already waving and apparating before I'm even standing up from my seat.

I laugh and shake my head. "That boy is a prat."

Hermione groans. "Isn't he though?!"

We both laugh and bid our farewells. Ron decides he's had enough family time and persuades Hermione to clean up and leave with him. I politely say goodbye to George and Ginny and head out the front door to apparate.

"I knew you'd come," Harry says as I appear in his home. He sits on his couch in only his pants, smoking a joint.

"Yeah only so I could yell at you for being a buggering arsehole. I see you took the shades off."

"I was in dire need of hangover potion and Ginny dragged me out before I could take one."

I walk over to him and sit down. I take the joint from him without protest and take a hit. I almost instantly feel my body begin to calm.

"So you and Ginny go on a date?" I ask.

Harry chuckles. "Not really. It was more of a threesome but Ginny wasn't really into all that so she chickened out," he says in between hits.

"Who was the lucky third person?"

"My friend named Cody who's pretty hot."

I snort. "Are you trying to make me jealous. I don't care if they're hot."

"You obviously do if I heard that whole lame sentence right."

I shove his shoulder. "Whatever. I'm mad at you anyway. I shouldn't even be here."

"Why are you mad at me? I should be mad at you. I heard you telling Granger about our sex life."

"Bullocks! You did not!"

"Yeah, I did. You're so loud and shrilly Draco."

"Well I'm still mad at you. You didn't call me or anything for three days. That's three whole days without talking and knowing you were okay after you bloody ditched me. That's three whole days with no sex. After we fucked like bunnies for weeks straight, you can't just cut me off. How are you not dying from priapism?"

Harry laughs loudly. "Dying from what?"

"You know! When your pen-"

"I know what it is Draco but are you seriously comparing your situation to that? Could you not have just wanked off like the rest of the male race."

"Fuck you Potter."

"Merlin, the world does not revolve around you."

I stand up, suddenly feeling very foolish. "You're right. I'm sorry to bother you."

Harry grabs my arm and pulls me back down. "Draco don't be a little bitch." He climbs on top of me, his hips pinning me down.

I try to wiggle out of his grasp but he's too strong.

"Potter it's not even like you're the only one who wants to bugger me," I say through grunts as I try to make my escape.

"Yeah? Who else is there?"

I stop for a moment. "You sound surprise."

Harry leans over me, one elbow on each side of me, and his head resting in his hands. "I'm not surprised. I just want to know who else," he says quietly, very close to my space. I can see the specks of brown in his eyes and the now faint scar on his forehead. His hair falls in his eyes and he blows it away.

"Are you even comfortable like this? Cause I'm not."

He lifts an eyebrow. "Don't change the subject."

"Oh are you jealous now? Because it sounds a little like it and I'm serious when I say I feel like a small child be crushed by an obese St. Bernard."

"You just called me a fat mutt!"

"Well there's Nott. He's fancies me. And you're not fat per se."

"Nott? Are you serious?"

"Yeah you're just a little round near the middle. It's just funny because in school you were always so thin, but now-"

"Draco stop talking about my body! Theodore Nott fancies you?"

"You're the one who brought it up. And yeah he does. I kissed him goodnight and now he won't stop owling me. I can't keep turning him down."

Harry frowns a little. "Well do you want to go out with him?"

I smirk. "I wouldn't mind. It's just between work and Hermione and sex with you, I'm so busy," I say, growing more sarcastic towards the end.

Harry snorts. "Don't let me stop you. You kissed him? What was that like? Awful I imagine."

"It was alright," I answer vaguely.

"Well I still go out with Cody even though I spend time with you, so you should be able to make time."

"Who is this Cody person anyway. I've never even heard you mention them and suddenly they're the best person in the world," I say a little too bitterly.

This time it's Harry's turn to smirk. "Hey we should double date, so we can inspect each other's dates."

"I'm not dating Nott."

"And I'm not dating Cody but that's not stopping you from being jealous."

"I am n-"

"So do you want to do it," he interjects.

"Um, sure."

Harry flashes me a devilish smile. "Great. Let's do Friday," he tells me.

"Cool."

"Cool."

We're silent for a while until Harry speaks again. "So you wanna have sex now?"

I sigh deeply. "I've been waiting for you to ask that for forever!" I exclaim.

**"Yes, show me that pretty, lil bum of yours."**


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13 Harry

It's Friday night and for the first time ever I'm not a jumble of nerves and anxiety. Usually when going out with friends, I get nervous. I always have to take a hit or a drink but tonight I can't wait to see Draco's face when he sees my date. I take a hit anyway, just for the hell of it.

I make sure to look extra good tonight. I put on a tight, dark green v-neck that matches my eyes, dark denim jeans that fit just right, and my favorite pair of dragonhide boots. I even manage to get my hair to lay flat in the back. I spray a little bit of cologne on, grab flowers for Cody and apparate out. I had to tell Draco that Cody was a muggle so we'd have to keep M word on lock.

I'm out the house and knocking on Cody's flat door in no time and before I know it, she swings the door open.

I hold out the flowers and greet, "good evening Ms. Price."

Cody flushes. "Hi. Harry you look pretty great tonight."

I examine Cody's outfit, looking for something to compliment but today, everything on Cody looks great. She has her hair like usual, but now there's a blonde streak accompanying the brown strands. Her eyes look bigger and bluer than ever, with catlike eyeliner rimming them. Then her dark red lips look full and wanting. Along with her stunning makeup, she wears a short, fitted black dress along with red doc martens. Waves of sexiness roll off her surprisingly curvy body and I find my throat going dry.

"You look great tonight," I manage to croak out.

She blushes and looks even cuter. "Thanks, you look great too. Green is a good color on you."

"Well thank you. Shall we head out?"

"We shall," Cody says, taking my arm.

Tonight, I decided we should do something everyone enjoys: clubbing. Draco was a little wary when he heard my idea but I assured him that everything would be fine. Cody suggested a place nearby, the Lonely Soldier. She said, despite the name, the club was new and amazing and I'd love it. I sent the message over to Draco and with hesitation, he told me that him and Nott would be there.

It only takes us fifteen minutes to catch a taxi and be dropped off in front of the club. I immediately spot Draco, his blond hair looking silver under the street lamps. I grabbed Cody's hand and make my way over to Draco.

As we get close I get a chance to check Draco out. Tonight, he's breathtakingly beautiful. His hair is gelled back like when we were kids, but there's nothing childish about the Draco Malfoy in front of me tonight. I just know his arse looks perfect in the black leather pants he's sporting tonight and I can't wait to rip off his white, almost see-through t-shirt.

"It's rude to stare potter," Draco says, when we finally reach him. "You're making my date jealous."

I blush when I realize Icompletely failed to notice Nott. I look away from Draco and lay my eyes on the slender man next to him. Theodore Nott, too has changed, and for the better. Tonight he wears all black making him look dark and mysterious. However, it's not unappealing. Nott looks quite like the guys I usually go for when I hit the clubs.

"Sorry Draco. Do forgive me," I tell him.

Draco crosses his arms and shrugs, "whatever."

I clear my throat, "well Cody as you might have guessed, this is Draco Malfoy and this is our old school mate, Theodore Nott," I introduce as Cody shakes both of their hands.

"Hello, nice to meet you miss," Nott says with a silky voice. "And good seeing you again Potter. You're looking handsome as ever."

Cody grabs my arm and smiles. "Isn't he though?" She says in response.

"Yes Harry Potter is just wonderful isn't he," Draco says a little bitterly.

"Well then, now that we're all acquainted let's go in!" I announce to everyone.

Every time I walk into a club it's always like a new experience. The people, the music, the lights, they're always different. But in every club there's the sense of adventure and fun that radiates through your body whether or not you've done drugs before you've gotten there. However, I almost always pre game before going out so maybe that's why I get chills.

This time is no different and maybe even stronger because this club is new. It's extremely dark and the only source of light are the blue-purple and white strobe lights that flash sporadically. Everyone on the dance floor looks almost ghostly and the music is so steady and heavy with bass that it's chilling.

"Welcome to the Lonely Soldier," Cody introduces, sounding eerie over the music. "Let's dance."

Next thing I know, I'm being dragged on the dance floor. I look back to make sure Draco and Nott are following and when I see that they are, my eyes wander to the crowd ahead of me. We all take our places in the center of the horde and are instantly swept into a rhythmic motion. I glance over at Draco to make sure he's not too overwhelmed but to my surprise, he's wrapped up in Nott and looking as intimate as ever. A sour taste fills my mouth and I grab Cody's gyrating hips and press them against mine. She smiles, looking alluring in the dark lighting and I grip her tighter.

Ten minutes go by and now we have drinks in our hands. Another ten minutes, or maybe more, goes by and I have a raging hard on. I can't help but to press my hips into Cody's full and wanting ass. She slips her hand up my thigh and leans against my chest. The contact erases any remaining innocent thoughts I had about the boyish girl in my arms.

"Damn Dakotah, you sure know how to show a gentleman a good time," I whisper in her ear. Her chuckles vibrate through her back.

"I would hardly call you a gentleman Harry. I can practically feel your whole cock up my ass."

I press harder against her, sending pleasure all through my lower regions. "Yeah and how about now?" I moan.

"Mm a little more," she whispers.

I start to rhythmically rub my crotch against her. She arches her back and runs one hand in my hair. "I need a wall," I whisper hoarsely.

"You know what would make this even more fun," her voice now raspy.

"Yeah. I do," I answer in between breaths. "I've got. Some new. Stuff."

"Better than E?" She says moaning the E. I almost cry at the sound.

"Yes. Oh shit yes. Are you ready?"

"Yes Harry. I want it," she cries over the thumping music.

"You're just having too much fun you two," says a sour voice.

I look up to see a bitter Draco and a quizzical Nott at his side.

I look up from Cody's soft hair and send Draco my most sensuous grin. "Yeah, wanna join?"

I can tell Draco is taken aback and I laugh.

"No I don't want to join. Nott and I were about to get some more drinks and were wondering if you guys wanted some."

"Is it on you?" I ask, still dancing with Cody.

"Yes...?"

"Great, drinks on Draco!" I exclaim and Cody woos.

We all walk over to the bar. I fish in my pocket for the tiny bag of smiley. When I locate the package I pull it out as to take some out for Cody and I.

"Harry you're not seriously going to do that?" Draco whispers urgently.

I look up, seeing that he's staring at me with shocked eyes.

"Yeah..."

"Harry Potter do you not remember the ladies panties?"

I roll my eyes. "Don't remind me."

"Well give me one."

I laugh, "No. You can't handle it."

"And obviously, neither can you," he retorts.

"Yeah, but I don't care about my body. It doesn't matter what happens to me."

Draco gives me a strained look. "Well I care about your body and you or whatever. So if you're going to be stupid enough to take that, I'm taking it with you."

"Bullocks!"

"I'm taking one," he says sternly.

"Taking what?" Nott chimes in.

I hold up the pack.

"Oh drugs. I'm down," Nott tells me.

I laugh, "Fine. Draco you win. All of us can take it together. Everyone," I say as I drop one pill in each drink, the smiles looking menacing in the alcohol, "cheers to a sure to be great night."

We all down our drinks and cheers. Instantly, I start to feel the effects of the drugs. I look at my friends and giggle at the colors that engulf their bodies. I reach out my hands and touch both Draco and Cody.

"Let's dance," I hear myself say.

I don't remember actually going but I'm on the dance floor in between Cody and Draco. Cody takes her place in front of me and for once Draco's in the back.

"Man I want some weed," Cody says to my me.

"Let's take a hit," I tell her.

"And a trip," Draco adds.

"Place or drug?" I ask him.

His eyes look huge and silver, almost like jewels. "Both," he mouths.

We all erupt in giggles.

Hit.

Trip.

Drink.

Dance.

Repeat.

"What are we doing?" I hear someone ask.

"Fun."

I roll over, cracking one eye open. A breeze blows and it's still dark. I sit up and a pounding headache ambushes my defenseless skull.

"Bloody hell," I wheeze.

I sit up and a bunch of trash crumples under my weight. I look around through squinted eyes and see that I'm in an alley way. I'm only wearing my trousers. My wand is in my pocket but yet again my wallet and keys are missing, along with my bloody shoes. I lean back in the trash and gather my scattered thoughts. My brain racks my memory for what happened last night but I come up short.

"Bullocks!" I yell and instantly wince.

"Harry?"

I look over and see a Malfoy in a state very similar to mine. He's also shirtless and in nothing but his pants and boots. His hair sticks up like a peacocks and a wrapper sticks to his cheek.

I laugh out loud and wince again. Holding my head, I lean over and remove the trash from his cheeks.

"Shit Draco you look like shit," I say in a hoarse voice.

He moans and buries his face. "What happened?" he whines. I pat his shoulder and he suddenly throws his arms around my neck. "Harry why are we even up? It's still dark. Make it all go away," he whimpers in my ear.

I shudder at the sensuous yet innocent tone of his voice. "Mm Draco don't do this to me. I don't know what happened."

Suddenly something moves in the trash beside us.

"Shit shit shit."

"Omg, Harry did you kill someone?"

"Why all the bloody noise," Cody groans.

"Buggering hell you scared me Cody," I whisper to her, seeing that she's the only one with her clothes. However, her makeup is a mess and her shoes are gone.

"Why are we in the trash?"

"Shite, I have no clue?" I answer with slight irritation.

"It was your drugs, Harry," Cody whimpers.

"Can we just get out the bloody trash! And where's Nott?" Draco complains. Cody hushes him and holds her head.

"Nott?" I call out into the darkness. No other bodies pop up. My muddled mind begins to panic. I crawl out of the trash onto the cold alleyway concrete. It's so dark that I almost pull out my wand and mutter a lumos, but I remember Cody is with us.

"Harry where's Nott?" Draco says a little more strongly.

**"Fuck Draco, I don't know."**


	14. Chapter 14

**TRIGGER**** WARNING.**_** There is self harm and tons of feels. Wow wow the end of this chapter or even the middle, is really sad. If you don't want to get into your feelings maybe, just maybe you should skip this chapter, but I would like to say there ain't nothing wrong with crying a little. Sorry it took me so long to upload but I must admit it is a tad bit longer than usual. Please enjoy if you dare read this chapter of feels and do review.**_

Chapter 14 Draco

Shit fucking bloody bollucks. That's how I feel right now. My head is pounding and I'm lying in the fucking trash. What's even worst is all I wanted, was to make Harry jealous and have some really great sex but I can't even remember last bloody night. Now Nott's missing to top it all off.

"Damn Harry, did you roofie all of us last night? What was that stuff?" Cody moans.

I instantly sneer. Her and her boyish looks and feminine body have been irritating me all night. Harry could do so much better. And her mouth is just awful. At least that Ash fellow was polite. This girl has no class.

"No no, it's some new stuff. It doesn't really matter. We gotta find Nott."

We all drag our pitiful selves and walk toward the main street. As expected, the roads are deserted. It's probably 3 or 4 in the morning. Harry pulls out a cigarette and lights it with steady fingers despite his sluggish walk and slurred words. After taking a hit, he leans towards me.

"We gotta leave Cody if we want to find Nott in a timely fashion. Without magic, this is going to take forever," he whispers in my ear. That's the first great thing I've heard all morning. Despite my excitement, I coolly shrug and Harry takes that as a yes. He leans in the opposite direction towards Cody.

"Hey babe, is it ok if we take you home?"

She frowns. "What about that Nott bloke? I'm not going to ditch you guys," she protests.

He takes another drag from the cigarette and exhales slowly. "I know these streets pretty well. I can probably find him by myself a lot quicker. Plus, I feel awful about the state we're in right now. You should go home and rest and I'll call you later," he says gently. I almost throw up at how sweet Harry's voice sounds.

Cody ponders his words for a moment and then her frown smoothens out. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, definitely. Do you want me to walk you? Or," Harry reaches into his pocket, pulling out a few rumpled notes and a pair of black, lace underwear. "Would these happen to be yours?" Harry laughs. Cody gives him a devilish grin.

"And why would you have my panties, Harry Potter?"

"I really wish I could remember how I got them," He tells her, his voice as smooth as silk. I almost gag at their conversation.

"I guess that's a conversation we can have later, eh?" she giggles, plucking the underwear out of his hands.

"Oh yes it is. So do you want me to walk you home?"

"I'm sure the bint can walk herself," I mutter softly to myself, but Harry shoots me a pointed glare.

Cody laughs, not hearing what I said. "Actually I think I know where I am." She pulls out a few notes and a tiny cellphone from her cleavage. She smiles at our shocked faces. "It's nice being a girl sometimes. Do you guys need to make a call before we part ways?"

Harry laughs lightly. "No we're fine, thanks though," he answers. Harry grabs Cody's waist and pulls her in for a hug. He then aims to plant a kiss on her cheek but Cody turns her head, catching his lips. Harry quickly pulls away with a laugh and a sly grin that mirrors Cody's. My insides turn to fire. The small gesture makes me jealous for some reason and I don't like the feeling at all.

"Don't forget to call me later, ok?" Cody tells him.

Harry gives her a cheeky wink and begins to walk away. I stare between the two for a stunned moment. Cody frowns, but smiles again when she catches me watching her. I look away eventually and jog to catch up to Harry who's now walking at a brisk, non-drunk pace.

"So when we turn this corner we can apparate to my place because I have some potions for hangovers and then we can find your boyfriend," Harry says without looking at me.

"He's my boyfriend just as much as Cody is your girlfriend."

Harry frowns at my words, but doesn't say anything. Actually, I think he walks a little faster and I thank Merlin for my long legs. As soon as we turn the corner, he grabs my arm and without warning, apparates on the spot. We end up in his living room.

"Thanks for the warning arsehole," I whine.

Harry just shrugs and walks to his bed room. In no time he's back with two sparking vials and downs one after handing me my own. I follow his actions and instantly feel better, my head feeling a thousand times lighter than when I woke up.

"Thanks Har-" I try to get out, but suddenly Harry's lips are on mine. I pull apart instantly, confused. "Potter what are you doing?"

"I'm sorry for last night, you're right. I was being stupid last night," Harry says in between kisses he expertly places on my neck and jaw line. "I'm just glad there are fewer clothes to take off," he adds before kissing me deeply on the lips.

I pull away quickly. "I'm not doing anything before I get a bloody shower."

He runs one hand down to my arse and moans in my ear. "Shower. Yes. I like that," he says in a breathy voice.

I'm breathless, but try to concentrate on my thoughts and not his very skilled hands that work their way up and down my body. "Harry I never called you stupid and I thought we just came here to regroup. I thought we were going to find Nott, you know, track his wand or something."

Harry briefly stops sucking on my collar bone to say, "Yes, regroup in the shower. Together. And only the Ministry can track wands."

"Yeah, ok. What are we going to do then?" I whine and Harry bites my shoulder in response. I slap away his greedy hands. "What is wrong with you?"

Harry releases me from his embrace and sighs irritably. "Nott is a grown man. He can take care of himself."

"Yeah, but I was his date and I let him get drug by a fucking addict and now I should be a decent fucking person and make sure he's alive!" I protest.

"An addict? Is that what you consider me?"

I look away from Harry's hurt face. "I'm sorry Harry. I didn't mean it like that. That wasn't the right-"

He laughs harshly. "I can't believe you. You actually think I'm an addict," he says in disbelief.

I step closer to him, trying sooth him but he snatches away from me. "You know I didn't mean that, Harry. You just, you just don't know when to stop. You don't know when it's time to quit. It was stupid of me to even suggest us all taking the stupid drug together when I know you have a problem."

"I'm going to stop you right there. Leave."

My jaw drops and Harry walks away. "Harry you can't be serious!" I shout.

He whips around to face me. His emotions clear on his face but for some reason I can't read them. It's a storm of anger and hurt. "Why can't I be serious? Because I think I bloody can be. When I thought there was one person who accepted me," laughs, but it turns out to sound more like a sob. "You're just like the rest. You pity and judge me just like the rest. You see nothing but a pathetic drug addict who is just the shell of a boy who no longer exists. Well fuck you Draco Malfoy and everyone else who looks down on me."

I quickly grab Harry's arm before he can lock himself in his room. My face is hot but I talk through the emotions. "You know I don't think that! None of this is even about you! None of the things you're saying are true. They're all in your head."

"So I'm crazy now?" he shouts.

"You're twisting my words around! I just want to find Nott."

"Are you sleeping around with him?"

"Are you jealous? I said I wasn't dating him. And I could ask you the same question about that dirty bint!"

"Don't talk about her like that! Cody was the only one there for me. When I cut my fucking wrists she was the one who cleaned me up! She was the one who held me when I needed it most," he exclaims, his eyes now shining with tears.

"How could I be there when you push me away! You're pushing me away now! All I am is a casual fuck and when I ask for more you push me away. I want to be more and you won't let me. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep letting you break my heart," I whisper, my voice cracking at the end.

"Draco just go. I need you to go."

"Harry please. Just tell me what you want. I have no fucking clue what I'm doing. What we're doing."

"I don't know what I want," he whispers, sounding so small. I look up to see my own pain mirrored in his eyes. "Just leave."

This time I don't protest. I have no more fight in me. I apparate home. Screw Nott. Screw Harry.

"So how was your weekend?" Hermione asks while making herself a cup of coffee. We both got the Monday morning shift which means we've been together since 3AM. It's currently 10 o'clock and we're just now taking our break.

I shrug. "It kind of sucked."

She frowns. "Did you not hang out with Harry?"

"That's why it was a bunch of bullocks."

Hermione joins me at the tiny plastic table where I've chosen to mope. "Tell Dr. Granger what happened."

I laugh. "It's funny because I can actually call you that. Anyways, I agreed to double date with Potter and I knew I shouldn't have but he kept talking about this girl and I just wanted to meet her but be able to make Harry jealous too. It was obvious that Harry didn't want to be exclusive so why not, right?

"So on Friday Harry, that stupid bint and Me and Theodore Nott-"

"Nice date choice," Hermione snickers.

"Yeah, whatever. That's another story to tell. So we all meet up at this club that the girl, Cody, chose and it's so indie but the gross kind. Not the cool modern kind. It was a mistake to go clubbing in the first place. So we're all on the dance floor and Cody is just all over Harry and I couldn't even concentrate on poor Nott because my blood was just boiling seeing them."  
"What does Cody look like?"

"Like a little boy with a whore body."

"Come on Draco, I'm serious."

"Short, big blue eyes, short brown hair, one blonde streak, big pink lips, looks twelve, oh and muggle." I answer.

Hermione raises her eyes when I mention muggle. "Interesting. Alright, continue. I just needed a visual."

"So they're dancing and looking like they want to eat each other alive and I feel so sick so I march over there, asking if they want drinks and they say yes so we all go get some. Then I see Harry about to pop one of those smiley pills and I try to stop him but, I don't know, maybe I didn't try hard enough or wasn't thinking straight, or maybe I just wanted to prove to him that I could be fun… but I end up taking it with Harry."

"Draco no!"

"Yes and then Nott shows up and asks for one too and we all end of on that wicked stuff. The night goes by in a blur and we end up waking up in the trash in some alley. But get this, Nott is nowhere to be found. So we eventually get up and then Harry tells Cody to go home, because he says it'll be easier if we don't have that damn muggle tagging along.

"Then she kisses him goodbye and I'm so angry and Harry and I apparate to his place. When we get there, I'm ready to look for Nott and then leave because I'm just so sick of Harry. Next thing I know, he's all over me, kissing and touching, I could hardly breathe. When I tried to get him to stop he got so angry and told me to forget Nott. I tried to tell him that I was Nott's friend and I was only being decent after letting an addict, I know I shouldn't have said it, drug him.

"So now he's furious and I'm trying to tell him that none of this is even about him and how I just want to find Nott. Then he asks me if I'm sleeping with Nott, which is a no because I actually just recently reunited with him. I told Harry I could ask him the same thing about Cody and he starts yelling about how Cody was the only one there for him when he was cutting himself and how I wasn't. He looked so broken Hermione but I was so angry and hurt myself," I take say taking a breath. Talking about the whole incident threatens to bring forth the tears that I've been trying so hard to hold back. "I told him that I wasn't there for him because he wouldn't let me and how I couldn't keep playing games with him. He just told me to go," and on my last words, my voice cracks.

Hermione places a delicate hand on my back. "Draco you can't take on all Harry's issues. And you can't feel guilty because of that. It'll eat you up and destroy you."

"But Hermione, I love him. I can't watch him destroy himself because that's what he's doing. He's going to kill himself."

Hermione gives me a pained look and I can see that she understands exactly what I'm saying.

I sit in the living room on the couch along with a big glass of firewhiskey and Theodore Nott. On Monday evening, Theo called me through the floo to apologize about his absence on Saturday. He had ended up on the other side of town but made it home safely. I said I was sorry for such the crazy night and invited him over Tuesday night for drinks since I had Wednesday off. He accepted the offer and said he was looking forward to Tuesday. Neither of us mentioned how I didn't bother to call or look for Theo.

Now both of us enjoyed the other and caught up on our lives. Theo looked very handsome in a green button up polo and jeans that vaguely reminded me of Harry. I quickly took a swig of firewhiskey at that thought.

"Whatever Harry gave us on Friday was crazy. I've never been that buggered in my whole life."

"I have to admit that I haven't either. But I don't really want to talk about Friday night or Harry at all."

Nott frowns and leans closer to me. "Did something happen between you two?" he questions sincerely.

I look away when I feel my throat tighten. "What didn't happen?" I manage to choke out.

Theo rubs my thigh. "Draco, I didn't mean to upset you. What can I do to make it up to you?"

I look at his earnest dark eyes and dive in for a kiss. Theo is tense at first, from shock, but takes no time to loosen up. His arms wrap around me and my fingers sneak their way into his dark locks. Nott pushes me against the couch and I wrap my legs around his thin waist. I try to lose myself in his touches, his kisses, but all I can think about is how Harry touches me and how Harry kisses me. All I can think about are how light and hesitant Nott's fingers are, but how Harry's are strong and confident. I think about how Nott's dark eyes threaten to swallow me whole but Harry's are inviting and daring.

I shut my own eyes and grab Theo's waist, grinding my hips into his and lavishing in the moan that follows. I quickly grab the hem of Theo's shirt and manage to pull it off. He reciprocates my actions and makes his way down my neck and torso. It's all rushed and hurried and sloppy.

"Nott," I say, out of breath.

He looks up from his work on my waist. "What?"

"I can't…"

The light fades out of Nott's eyes and he sits back on his heels. "Shit Draco."

I sit up, covering myself and feeling embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm just…"

He holds up his hands to stop me. "No it's okay. I understand," he tells me.

"You do?"

"Yeah of course. We are two mature adults. We just met and got caught up, we've only had one date, if you can even call it that, and you don't want to sleep with a guy you barely know. Or at least, I hope it's that."

I smile. No that's not the problem, but it makes more sense than the actual problem. "Wow. You're great."

Theo puts his shirt on and nods. "Thanks for inviting me over. Owl me the next time you want to hang out."

I grab his arm as he gets up. "Theo, you don't have to actually leave."

Theo eyes his crotch. "Yes, I do. Got to go handle some things."

I laugh. "Okay then. I will owl. Or floo. Have a good night."

"Thanks Draco. You do the same." Theo walks himself to the door and waves before leaving.

I slouch against the couch, pressing the palms of my hands to my eyes. I take a gulp of firewhiskey and focus on how it burns all the way down my throat. But it's not enough.

I'm looking at my wand on the coffee table and contemplating taking a visit over to Harry's, when my phone rings. I instantly search for it because only people from work call me when there's an emergency. I find it among the pillows and answer.

"Hello, Malfoy speaking."

"Dracooo you were right."

"Harry? How'd you get my cell number?"

"I din't want to floo. I was 'fraid that you wouldn't be home."

"Harry are you drunk? This isn't funny."

"I'm an addict, an alcoholic, a loser. What didja expect?" he slurs.

"Harry dammit, I didn't say all of that. You know I don't think that."

"Yeah but… I think that," he whispers and it sounds like he's crying. "I'm sorry Draco. I'm so sorry. I just…" he's silent for a while and I start to worry.

"Harry?"

"Please forgive me."

"For what, Harry? I'm not mad anymore. It's ok."

"No, I'm so sorry. I love you. Please just know that."

"Harry what's wrong? What are you doing?"

He sucks in a breath of air. "There's just… so much… I'm so scared."

"So much what Harry?" I ask. His end goes silent for a while. "Harry?"

"Blood," he whispers.

My heart starts racing and I start pulling on my shirt and getting my shoes. "Harry I'll be right there. I'm going to call Hermione and I'll call you right back. Don't do anything else. Are you home?"

He sobs, "No don't. Don't come."

"Harry please, let me help."

"Draco I can't do this anymore," he whispers and hangs up.

I stop what I'm doing and apparate into Harry's flat. It's dark but the light coming from the window allows me to see that the place is wrecked. There's broken glass everywhere, it reaks of liquor, and dirty clothes and trash litter the floor. I hear quiet cries coming from the back rooms and make my way through the clutter towards the sound. A metallic and musty odor hit my nose and stopped me in my tracks. As I look down, I cover my mouth, seeing nothing but fresh blood seeping into the cracks of the hardwood floors.

"Harry! HARRY!" I start yelling. It's completely dark, so I check every room before finally stopping in front of the bathroom. The door is shut and the smell of blood is strong. Despite my work in the hospital, I find myself wanting to gag. I take a deep breath and step into the bathroom. Nothing could have prepared me for what I see.

It's so dark, but the moonlight seeping through the bathroom window is like a spotlight in a prison yard. The mirror over the sink is shattered and pieces glitter the countertop and the floor around it. Then there's the blood. There is so much blood everywhere. But it looks like it was spilled and someone tried to clean it up, doing a sloppy job at it. Finally, I lay my eyes on Harry. He sits on the floor, in nothing but his pants and blood streaming down the insides of his arms. He has his wand out and is whispering incantations to heal the wounds but his hands were shaking so badly that it wasn't working. He wiped his face, smearing blood with tears and whispers to me.

"I told you not to come. I can handle it. I said don't come."

I feel tears hit my cheeks as I kneel down next to Harry and take his hands. I kiss him over and over again.

"I didn't know. I kept asking what you wanted, what was wrong and I should've just known," I sob. "I'm so sorry."

**"No I'm sorry."**


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15 Harry

**ONE WEEK LATER**

I sit inside a cozy office. The walls are painted a peculiar blue-green color. The floor is hardwood but a multicolored, circular rug takes up a majority of the office. The wall to my right is covered entirely by a bookshelf that has a little area with bean bags. The wall behind me hosts a large painting by an artist I don't recognize, but the work is very weird and abstract. I have no clue what it is. Then to my left, The wall is covered in muggle band posters which I find a tad bit strange since we're in St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. Finally, the last wall is taken up by two very large, rectangular windows. We're high enough to see the building tops all throughout London.

Across from me is a big ebony desk that has an array of knickknacks and picture frames. A gold name plate that reads "Healer Aimée Vincent" sits next to a miniature skeleton that dances in place. I even spot a navy blue and gold Puddlemere United Flag, enchanted to wave without wind.

"I'm glad you finally decided to see me Mr. Potter."

I look up from her desk and finally make eye contact with the doctor. She has dark brown, almond eyes that are encased by even darker and thicker eyelashes. Her skin is a smooth, even brown. Her hair is black and made up of tiny curls. She's beautiful and I smile.

"Is something funny, Mr. Potter?"

"I'm just admiring your stunning features, Healer Vincent."

She rolls her eyes. "Flirting won't get you out of therapy."

"But will it get me a date?"

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves."

I roll my eyes and slouch down in my chair. "I honestly don't see the point of doing this."

"Must I remind you why you're here in the first place, Mr. Potter?"

"Merlin stop calling me Mr. Potter. You sound like my old potions professor."

"Really? What was he like?"

"Bitter, and could give a glare that would turn you to stone. But he was bloody brilliant. One of the bravest men I ever knew," I end in a whisper.

"Sounds like you really admired him. Tell me, if you don't mind, what exactly happened to him?"

I give her a sharp look.

"Or you don't have to talk about it..."

"We could talk about boiled cabbage or getting splinched."

"Come on Harry. Don't be so difficult."

"I'm not being difficult. Isn't it your job to make me want to pour out my heart and soul? I don't feel very emotional and willing to share."

"Let's talk about the fellow who brought you into Mungo's last week. What was his name?"

I cross my arms, deciding whether or not I want to discuss him.

"Hey I'll make a deal with you. If you answer my questions, you don't have to go to group therapy this afternoon."

I perk up at this offer. "Really? Because group therapy blows. And not in the good way."

She laughs lightly. "So we've got a deal then?"

I sigh. "Fine."

"So who was the young man from last week?"

"His name is Draco Malfoy."

"Ah, Malfoy! How could I not recognize him and that blond hair. He works in the hospital too. But typically in the emergency room. Is he a friend of yours?"

"Yes. Is he a friend of _yours_?" I ask in a strained voice.

"No, not really. Why?"

I eye her suspiciously as she writes on a notepad out of view. "I just like to know who Draco hangs out with."

"And do you?"

"Not really. I know he hangs out with Hermione, another friend of mine who works in the hospital. He also hangs out with her boyfriend, Ron, but I think it's because he's just always there."

"Does Draco not have a big circle of friends?"

"I don't know. We don't really talk about his job. Or his friends."

"What do you guys talk about?"

I shrug. "I don't know. Life, our goals, or more his rather than mine."

"Do you not have your own goals, Harry?"

"No. I've just got a shit ton of money and nothing to do with it. Sometimes I wish I did die when Voldemort hit me with the killing curse," I whisper.

"That must've been hard right? Growing up with the weight of the world on your shoulders. Always being in the eye of the public and without your parents there to help you through it," she says gently.

"I guess you've been reading up on the Potter fanbooks, eh?"

She flashes me a cheeky grin. "I will admit, I was a fan when I was younger. It's almost embarrassing to think about all the Harry Potter junk I owned."

I smile at her honesty. "Really? So did you too have my face on your pillow?" I lean towards her and continue, "And sleep with me every night? Hold me close to your chest?"

"Harry please," she exclaims. "This is so unprofessional. The point of telling you that, is to let you know that I have a little understanding of what you went through. But I want _you _to tell me. Not some Rita Skeeter rubbish article."

"Well first Voldemort killed my parents. Then I was abused by my aunt, uncle, and cousin and lived in a bloody cupboard. Then I got my Hogwarts letter and guess what! I get to school and a psychopath wants me dead. Let's not forget when I met my loving uncle and he died. Oh, then right before I graduate my favorite professor dies, who actually was using me from the beginning and knew I was destined to die. I die. So does do many of my loved ones. However, I come back to life. Lucky me right? Then my girlfriend breaks up with me when she catches me sucking cock for the first time, well it wasn't the first if you count Dean but it was the big-"

"Harry. Enough."

"I thought you wanted me to share? I'm not done yet."

"Harry this isn't-"

"So then I went a few years isolating myself from my friends and slagging around. Then I met Draco, again, because we did go to school together. And he was just so bloody successful and I was like wow, I want to be like him. So I ended up fucking his brains out, which was bloody great. Trust me Healer Vincent, I can give you plenty-"

"Stop." Her tone makes me look up

from the nails that were digging into my skin. She looks sad, but maybe even a little angry.

"Did I say something wrong? Or did you not get all of it down? You want me to repeat?"

"Harry, you're dismissed for today."

I wink at her, and quickly depart from her office. I speed down from her corridor towards the dorms at the end of the psychiatric ward. When I reach room 43B, I step in and lock the door behind me. It's a small, bare room. The only things inside are the small hospital bed, a dresser with hospital clothes, a plastic chair, and a nightstand that holds a wilted flower.

The first night was awful. After getting cleaned up in the ER, I was sent to this room. I had stopped crying but my heart ached for Draco, and it ached for myself.

Now I take my place on the small twin bag. There's nothing really to do around here that doesn't somehow incorporate my "mental healing." Apparently all the approved activities are meant to help me heal and build as a human being. Or at least that's what Healer Vincent said. I think that's a load of bullshit.

A quick rap at the door interrupts my reverie.

I look up from my hands as an older nurse walks in.

"Hello Mr. Potter. You have a visitor. Would you like to see them?"

I sigh. It's probably Hermione or someone and sending them away won't be easy. I wish it were Draco, but he hasn't been to see me at all. He hasn't called or owled or anything. He's the only one I truly want to see.

"Fine. Send them in."

The nurse gives me a courteous nod and opens the door a little wider. To my surprise, Ron steps in. The nurse leaves, closing the door behind her and leaving the two of us in an awkward silence.

"Hello Mate," Ron greets hesitantly.

"Hello," I say stiffly. I honestly haven't spent time with just Ron in a very long time. After school, he bought a house with Hermione and it was always the two of them. I almost never saw Hermione without Ron and I never saw Ron without Hermione. Stuff like that tends to push best mates apart, especially when one is pushing away everyone in general.

Ron looks around uncomfortably and then finally takes a step to sit in the plastic chair next to the bed. He shoves his hands in his jean pockets. I don't know why, but that gesture makes me a little jealous. Mostly due to the fact that the clothes permitted to me by the hospital don't have pockets. That way the only way I can hide sharp things is if I stick them up my ass. Not that I'm not used to sticking things up my ass, even though I prefer to top.

"So how have you been?"

I immediately start to rub my wrist. They were once puckered and bloody but magic was quick to heal that. I could usually heal my own cuts but last time, I had lost control.

"Decent. I hate this bloody shit hole. Everything I do is being monitored on cameras and stupid little notebooks. I have to go to group therapy with these fucking daft bastard. The food taste like one of Neville's potions gone wrong."

"Hey! Ease up. He can brew now," Ron interjects.

I roll my eyes and continue. "The only good thing about this place is that my healer is hot."

"Well you'll be getting better right? That's why you're here in the first place."

I don't even roll my eyes this time. I just look away, sit back in the bed, and cross my arms. I hear Ron sigh when he realizes those were the wrong choice of words.

"I don't know what to say mate. After the war, you haven't been the same. We haven't been the same. Everything anyone does or says pisses you off-"

"Draco doesn't piss me off," I mutter.

"Yeah and it makes me a little jealous how Draco, who used to be this slimy git, lights up your day. I want to be there for you Harry and I feel awful that we aren't like we used to be. I feel even more awful that I have no clue how to get back to that.

"When I heard you were in here, I went mental. I was like, 'how did I not see this was coming?' My best mate was hurting all this time and I knew something was wrong, but ignored it. I felt awful, and still do. Harry I love you, man. Maybe not the same way as Draco but, I promise I won't just sit by anymore. I'm here for you."

As Ron says his final words, I finally look up at him. His green eyes are earnest and shining. My throat tightens at the sight of all the emotions on my best friends face and I surprise myself when I get up to hug him. Ron looks just as shocked but he hugs me just as tightly.

"Thanks," I whisper and Ron just nods. After a moment we break apart, grinning at each other. I sit back down on the bed, but this time closer to Ron.

"So now you can tell me about what's been going on. I overheard Draco whining to Hermione up some 'wannabe blonde slut bint?' I was always a little jealous of your very active sex life Harry."

I burst out in laughter. It takes me a moment to get myself together and for the stitches to leave my sides before I finally speak. "I can't believe he called her that. Her name is Cody. And she's a new, but very dear friend."

"And you've slept with her?"

I punch him lightly on his shoulder. "Ron we're not about to gossip like school girls. And besides, I haven't slept with anyone except Draco."

Ron's jaw drops a little. "You serious mate? Harry Potter, the boy who got laid every night, has settled down? Has Draco done the same?"

I shrug. "Maybe. I would like to think so. I trust him."

"You really like him don't you Harry?"

My eyes prickle at the thought of him. "Does it matter? He hasn't come to see me since he took me here. You, Hermione, Ginny, and even Ash visited me. He obviously doesn't want the baggage," I choke out. Tears threaten to spill over, but I refuse to cry in front of Ron.

"Maybe... You should just get better and then prove to him how you can support yourself. Then it's not like you're excess baggage when you carry your own weight."

I look up at Ron through foggy eyes and smile. Sometimes we tend to overthink things when looking for the answers to our problems. This was one of times.

"Harry it makes me very happy how active you've been. I'm happy to say that if you want to Harry, you can check out," Healer Vincent tells me.

I grin broadly. "Are you serious? I can go?"

"Yes. You've been so dedicated to your recovery. Honestly, it's like there's a new Harry sitting in front of me. One completely different from the Harry Potter who was here a month ago."

"Wow. It all just feels so surreal," I mutter, rubbing my wrist out of habit. "So when I leave this looney bin, can I ask you out on a date?"

Healer Vincent chuckles, "Merlin no. I've been rejecting you all this time for a reason Harry. I'm in a relationship right now. I can't."

"But you would if you could?"

She shakes her head. "Harry you're just not my type. And you're my patient! This is so inappropriate."

I waggle my eyebrows. "That's how I like it."

"Is there anything you want to talk about during our last meeting?" she says, ignoring my comment.

"Can we talk about some drinks. I haven't had one for weeks."

"As a doctor, I'm telling you that's a good thing."

We both laugh and Healer Vincent gets up. I'm confused at first until I see her pull out a card.

"This is my number-"

"Making a pass already doc? I thought you said that was a no."

"Harry Potter I've never had anyone quite as persistent as you. I'm going to have to tell your boyfriend."

I roll my eyes and take the card. "Whatever," I mutter. Draco didn't visit me once while I was in the hospital. Hearing his name makes my chest ache.

"Call me if you're ever feeling like shit, you little shit."

I get up myself and hug Healer Vincent. "Can I call you Aimée now?"

She laughs into my shoulder. "Fine. Just don't call my phone with bullshit."

After a moment we break apart and I wave goodbye as I exit her office. I practically skip to my room. To my surprise, it's not empty.

"Hello Harry," Draco says, sitting on my bed casually.

I'm taken aback, my mouth goes dry, and my thoughts become muddled.

"No hi?"

With those words, I snap. "You fucking arsehole. I was in this shithole for a whole bloody month and you don't come and see me once. You should've just let me bleed out you inconsiderate prick!"

Draco looks away from my eyes. I notice that his own are watery. "I didn't think it would be good for you if I came. I felt guilty for all of this. I didn't see what you were dealing with. Like, I did but I didn't realize you were going through stuff. I thought that was just what you wanted. I-"

"Draco," I sigh, "I've had a shite life. I've always had to fight for what mattered to me. Then after the war, I didn't have to fight anymore. I had good things in my life but it didn't seem right. It was all too easy and I didn't think I deserved it. I started fucking things up and after awhile I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop hurting those around me or myself.

"None of this was really about you, Draco. Well yes and no. Yes because I love you. I love you so much it hurts and it terrifies me. I'm so afraid I'm going to mess everything up and lose you. But it's not about you because it's really about my insecurities and my mental way of dealing with life," I laugh. "I just want to thank you for being there for me. Even if your bastard self avoided me for a fucking month," I finish.

Draco looks up and genuinely smiles. "You love me?"

"Fuck, Draco. Is that all you got from that?"

He laughs and gets up, wrapping his arms around my neck. "I love you too. And I'll always be here. As long as you need me," Draco whispers before pressing his lips to mine. It's soft but confident. A kiss that says everything without saying anything.

I break apart and chuckle. "I would have to say that's what I missed most while in this place. Kissing and take out food."

"Glad to know I'm on the same level as take out food."

I laugh again and take his face in my hands. My eyes roam over Draco's face, taking in the small details and imprinting them to my memory. Without really thinking about it, I lean in and kiss him. This one isn't soft like the previous kiss. It's hungry and screams how much I've missed him, how much I've missed us. Draco leans back onto the bed, taking me down with him. My legs straddle his hips that feverishly hump mine. The friction that my thin hospital pants allow is wonderful and all I can think about is how much I miss fucking Draco.

"Shit Harry. I'm not having sex with you in Mungo's. I fucking work here," Draco says in between kisses.

I pull apart from him, holding his hips down. "So you want me to stop?"

Draco pulls the collar of my shirt so that I collapse on top of him. "Merlin, no."

I smile as we resume kissing. The room quickly becomes heated. Draco's hands roam over my arse, kneading it and ways that makes my eyes roll back. It takes no time for me to remove his shirt and begin working on his belt. Draco's practically tears off my jumper and pants as I remove his tight jeans. Once we've managed to get each other naked, I sit back on my heels to admire the glorious man in front of me. His skin, despite all he's been through, is flawless. Draco's hair glows in the fluorescent light despite its dullness and adds to his perfection. His steely grey eyes rake over my body with hunger that mirrors my own. Then lastly, I take in the prize before me, his erect cock that makes me swoon. I lick my suddenly dry lips. How could I ever survive without this? How could I ever let him go?

"Are you going to fuck me or stare at me Potter?"

I glare at him before capturing his pink lips with my own and forcing my tongue into his mouth. His hands claw at my back while my hands explore his body. My lips finally break away, leaving us both gasping for air. But the broken connection is quickly mended as I make my way down his jaw to suck on that sweet spot where his collar bone and neck join. The soft moans he makes goes straight to my cock. I bite down hard on his shoulder and he hisses.

"Fuck," he pants, "it's been too long. Hurry up Potter."

In response my own hands make the long journey down his porcelain body, lightly pass over his glistening cock and play around his entrance. Draco, not one for games, wraps his delicate fingers around my penis and tugs harshly. "I swear Harry, stop playing."

The hand that isn't playing with Draco's arse squeezes on his perky nipple while I bite the other. Draco curses foully without shame.

"Patience is key, Draco. If there's one thing I learned from this bloody place, it's that."

Draco scowls and just picks up his pace on my achingly hard cock, adding more pressure and twist that threaten to send me over. "Fine then, I'll just make you cum before you even get me ready." Draco wanks me off in earnest, but I quickly whisper a lubrication spell and insert two fingers into Draco's heat. His grip falters, his back arches, and he gasps into my ear.

"Not so cocky now? No pun intended," I snicker.

"Shut up you little fuck."

"I plan to do more than a little fucking."

"That's what I wanted," Draco moaned.

I resume my work, twist and hooking my fingers, adding another, prodding Draco's prostate. He squirms under my touch, hips bucking and searching for contact, but my less than gentle hand hold him down.

"Shit, Harry, I'm ready."

"And I haven't came yet. Interesting."

"I sw-" he starts, but I shove the tip of my penis in before he can finish.

"Shut up," I growl, breathing heavily. Inch by inch I slowly make my way in till I'm balls deep. I wait for Draco's permission to move and with a swift nod signaling the okay, I'm off. The air is hot and filled with sounds of skin on skin. Our bodies are slick and tightly pressed together. At some point I find myself holding Draco's hand and looking into his eyes. The sex is rough, merciless, hot but his eyes, his eyes are all types of gentle that are almost hidden behind his lids. I find myself whispering, "I love you."

Draco's eyes widen and before I have a chance to kick myself for being a ponce, he spurts his seed, covering the both of us in warm cum. The pure look of ecstasy on his beautiful face send me over and I cum. My vision goes black and I swear I see stars. The force causes me to collapse on top of Draco.

"Fuck," I whisper.

"Yeah fuck," Draco says without looking at me, cheeks hot. "You know," he pants, "I really do love you."

"Merlin this is so cheesy," I complain.

He laughs lightly. "You started it."

**"Yeah I guess I did."**


	16. Chapter 16

_**Alright! Thank you sooo much for bearing with me and getting to the frickin end. I hope everyone who has read my story has enjoyed it. I'll probably be doing some editing, but if anyone would like to beta for me that'd be super awesome. Please leave reviews because that would be grrreat. Wow I'm just so excited.**_

Epilogue July 31st, 2003

"Happy Birthday!" we all cheered.

Despite Harry's endless amount of confidence, he looked quite bashful being the center of attention.

For Harry's twenty-third birthday, I planned a surprise birthday party with all our friends, at the little pub where we were first reunited, The Lucky Wolf. It was a little symbolic to me since, if one of us hadn't gone that night we wouldn't be where we were today. Or maybe we would've. Maybe fate had it out for us, like some weird fan girl who shipped her two favorite characters. Whatever it is, I'm just glad that I got stuck with the very daft Harry Potter.

"Merlin you guys, thanks. I don't know what to say," Harry says, grinning.

"I've got an idea mate, say 'ok everyone dig in,'" Ron jokes.

"Yeah bloody hell this cake looks good," Harry adds, admiring the chocolate cake with gold frosting, and metallic words reading 'Happy Birthday Harry!' in swooping letters.

"Well don't take all day cutting it, grandma," Ginny exclaims. I roll my eyes, catching Harry's attention. He just smiles and sticks his tongue out at me.

Harry slices the cake and we all cheer. After everyone's served, we all get drinks and enjoy ourselves. I find myself sitting on the chosen ones lap and devouring my second piece of cake.

"I can't help feeling that you got this cake more for yourself than for me," Harry whispers in my ear.

I try to hide the smile teasing the corners of my lips. "What would make you say such a thing. This is all for you."

"Yeah okay, whatever."

"So, you're twenty-three now, still rich, still famous, and you've settled down with a really hot bombshell, and you two have gotten yourselves a very lovely house. What's next?"

Harry looks pensive for a moment before answering. "I guess next is getting a job."

"Oh so responsible you are Potter. What are you thinking about doing? Opening a bong shop?"

"Ha ha very funny. I only smoke weed in moderation." I roll my eyes, but he continues. "I guess, maybe, I could play quidditch. That was something I worked hard to be good at. Maybe I could give advice to drug addicts."

"But you still do drugs."

"Only sometimes!"

"Ugh, what else do you like?"

"Sex," he answers right away. "I like it a lot. Especially with you."

I slap his arm playfully. "I guess this is a subject we'll have to think more about."

"Yes, I like the sound of 'we.'"

"Can't say that I hate it either."

Harry kisses me lightly. "You arsehole. You can't be nice, can you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, loser," I answer cooly.

"Bugger off, will you?"

**"I'm not going anywhere anytime soon."**


End file.

Harry Potter, Drama, Romance