Naruto 1. Chapter 1

**Akutsuki Dairys**

**Authors Note: Ok so this is my first fanfic story so please dont be so harsh on me ok :) i hope you like it!/ (Rated M just to be sure!)**

"Pain I've brought their journals" Konan said as she walked into his office. She was holding 8 different journals that were piled on top of each other and placed them on his desk.

"Good job Konan"

"What do you need thair journals for anyways?"

Pain didn't respond he didn't want to have to explain the whole story to her. He's been seeing them all acting strange lately ever since he lent Tobi some money to go to the bookstore. He figured these diarys were the reason they spent some time in their rooms. He was also afraid that they were plotting against him. 'Maybe I'm just being too paranoid 'Pain thought to himself

'But then again you can never be sure' So he layed them all out on his desk.

One was blue another was just all black another one orange, one red, one purple, one seemed to have alot of blood on it another was green, one brown and one was white which seemed to be sown back together some one must have ripped it. Pain didnt know which one to read first so he looked up at Konan.

"Pick one"

"Are you seriously asking me which one to pick?" She groaned.

"Yes I can't choose so pick" He sighed.

"Ok...ummmmmm the purple one" She pointed.

"Because it looks better than the other ones" She gently smiled.

"Very well then" He said as he opened it.

Dear Diary,

Well umm...how am I supposed to start off.

Well my name is Deidara and I like art that explodes.

Tobi bought me and the whole gang diarys it was a stupid thing to waste money on but heck ill give it a try.

So today I was bored and decided to follow Itachi around.

Soon enough he noticed me and told me to go away. I still followed him anyways. I'm going to try and get him to smile he never does so I've made it my goal.

Love Deidara

Dear Diary,

Today I continued to pursue Itachi. Needless to say he got Kisame on me. I just threw sushi at him and cried running off and calling me a sick bastard. I'm just as upset as he his.

He made me waste some of my favorite sushi.

Love Deidara

Dear Diary

Today Zetsu tried to eat me (again)

He just srang up out of the ground and scared the shit outta me. I got away from him though.

Hidan noticed my mission in trying to pursue Itachi to smile and gave me a tip. He told me if I showed up in his room naked it would make him smile. He laughed and walked off

Not a bad idea I could just show up with my clothes on but maybe being naked has something to do with facial muscles.

I'm going to try it when he gets back from his mission.

Love Deidara

Dear Diary

Itachi hasn't come back from his mission so I just messed with Saori today.

I watched him make his stupid puppets when I got bored and put a clay bomb in one just as he was about to finish it. It blew up right in his face as he put the last screw in. The look on his face was histarical. He didn't think it was so funny and poisoned me. I feel fine though I guess I'm immune.

Anyways Sasoris just a stupid ba...

Pain looked at the bottom of the page and saw drool and a bit of blood. And was that...SEMEN?

"What the hell?" Pain spoke aloud. He wondered what happened and read on.

Dear Diary,

So that poison Sasori gave me worked and I got drool a bit of blood and something sticky on my last entry. Also my head hurts and my hair was a bit sticky also. Oh well I took a shower anyways.

So today Itachi STILL isn't back so much for my plan.

I talked to Kakuzu about my plan and the tip Hidan gave me. He laughed in my face too! I don't see what's so funny about showing up naked in someones room just to seem them smile.

I saw Kisame bury the sushi I threw at him. Dumbass was holding a funeral.

Tobi followed me around screaming my name to get my attention. Then he made me play hide and seek with him. He hid but I just came back to my room.

Its been 3 hours and I still haven't seen him.

Love Deidara

Dear Diary,

Itachi has has FINALLY come back from his mission. So I did what Hidan said and showed up naked. Sure enough I made him smile but not the smile I expected. It was...different or maybe that's just how he smiles. He locked the door behind him and invited me to shower with him.

He's such a good friend he even washed my body so I wouldn't have to do any work. He even let me sleep in his room tonight so I won't get cold. I'm writing in his room as we speak.

He just gave me a glass of water what a friend. :)

I'm getting sleepy I think...

Dear Diary,

I don't remember anything that happened last night Itachi told me I was really tired and tense.

I must've been really tense because my backside hurts and I think I got bit because I have bite marks on my shoulders. It was probably Zetsu bastards always trying to eat me.

I have red hand marks on my waist. I asked Itachi was happened and said I sleep fight so he held me down.

Gee who ever thought Itachi would be so thoughtful. :)

I guess me and him are best friends now because he's starting to follow me more.

Love Deidara

Dear Diary,

Today Itachi gave me clay in the shape of a heart. I see he's taken up the art of clay. My amazing skills must be rubbing off on him.

Kisame seemed pretty down today and I felt a bit sorry so I tried to cheer him up. So i took him fishing. I was having a blast until Kisame started to cry at how many fish I caught.

He threw some of them back in the water making me angry. What a waste. I guess thought so too because he kept one fish in a bucket of water and left.

I haven't seen him and that fish all day.

I even walked by his room to see if he was ok. I heard some groaning noises and laughed.

He didn't cook the fish all the way and I knew he was suffering from undercooked meat.

Love Deidara

Dear Diary,

I walked by Kisames room and still saw the fish there. He didn't even eat it.

What the hell were those noises then?

Oh well I took it and cooked it myself and ate it.

It tasted a bit funny though.

Love Deidara

Dear Diary,

Today Itachi asked me out to dinner he was right on time too I was hungry. He looked pretty nervous asking me I guess he was intimidated by my greatness.

We walked the streets to the restaurant and Itachi asked to hold my hand. I didn't get why at first but he said he'd get lost without holding me.

I guess the Uchiha has finally seen how great I am.

At the restaurant he fed me and let me get anything I wanted. He's the best friend I've ever had. I guess his lips were cold because he kissed me. It felt funny having his lips against mine. It even made little Deidei move. (That's what I call my pens pretty clever huh)

Ever since going to the restaurant I can't stop thinking about him. I think about him more than I do art. Every time an image of him comes into my head it makes Deidei hard.

Gahh...I have to release the pressure now.

Love Deidara

Dear Diary,

Today Kisame asked where Fish-chan was. Fish-chan? He named the damn thing?

I told him I ate 'Fish-chan' because I thought it would be a waste if I didnt.

He yelled at me! Over a FISH! He kept rambling on about how she understood him and loved him and how he loved her and blah blah.

Kisame should really go out more maybe hes sex deprived or something. I left him there sobbing on the floor because I couldn't stand hearing him complain anymore.

Itachi is so nice tonight me and him are sneaking out to go to the inn at the city to have a sleep over. He even mentioned something about keeping me awake this time.

I guess he wanted to talk last time we had a sleep over but I guess i was too tired.

Love Deidara

Pain slowly closed the journal shocked about what he just read. He even slapped his fall to his forehead at some of the things he read. The he realized that around 6 pm Deidara nor Itachi were seen around the base. He shook off the images that he was getting and looked up at Konan again who was sitting in the corner reading.

"Konan come and pick another one"

"Ughhh" She said as she walked over obviously annoyed.

"Don't complain just pick"

"Umm...that ugly one" She pointed at the sewn up diary. She then went back to her seat and resumed reading.

Pain sighed afraid of the contents in this next journal. He opened and started reading.

Ok so I'm now stuck writing in this god forsaken thing. Fucking Tobi made me sew you back up when I shredded you.

Oh god now I'm treating this thing like a person oh well. Tobi will bugly me if I don't write.

My name is Kakuzu and I like money.

I hate not having money and people that won't give me their money.

-Kakuzu

Ugh stupid Tobi making me write again. I'm going to rip him to shreds one day and sell his body parts to the black market or just give some to Zetsu if he's willing to pay.

So today Hidan kept preaching about his god so I ripped his head off again.

I really wished he wasn't immortal so when I chop off his head he won't still be talking

I saw Hidan talking to Deidara today about a plan or whatever I didn't want to continue knowing Hidan its gonna end up bad.

-Kakuzu

Today I made my daily rounds killing people for their money. When Hidan started to bother me again about his religion so I cut off both of his arms. He kept complaining about how hard it is to keep having Konan sew them back on when I didn't want to.

I decided to walk around the base for a bit when I happened to walk by Sasoris room and saw Deidara face down in his journal and Itachi standing over him jerking off!

I quickly ran at what I saw and was about to puke.

I don't feel comfortable writing now. I dont care what Tobi says about my feelings needing to be written. Im going to sell these last few pages.

-Kakuzu

Pain flipped thru the pages and saw that it was all empty occasionally a few drawings of money and indeed the last pages were ripped out. Pain was a bit disturbed now and probably after this won't be able to make eye contact with Itachi.

Pain sighed as he looked around and saw that Konan wasn't there. He had to pick on his own now. He didn't know which to pick. So Pain just picked up the green journal and opened it.

Words like this are light Zetsu

**Words like this are dark Zetsu**

Dear Diary,

**These wretched people are getting on my nerves I want to eat them all. **

But Pain-sama would be very angry.

**Curse Tobi for these journals I would have ate him for giving us these horrid dead tree squares called 'journals'**

But Tobi was being so nice it would have been rude to decline a gift. **Not if its our own kind. **

Today was great.** It was horrible. **I noticed that Deidara was following Itachi today. **Maybe that dumb blonde will notice the crush that Uchiha has on him. **I think they would look good together. **Its gross but you do have a point there still nobody compares to that rose bush outside of the base. **Ahh now there is a beuty the likes of no one has ever seen. **She was very charming when we spoke to her. **Her petals match her beautiful stem.

-Zet**su**

**A/N: Ok so im having writers block so send me messages for ideas (?) I hope you enjoyed this story as much as i enjoyed writing it! New chapters soon! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:What will happen in this chapter! Who knows! You have to read it first! Oh btw i love getting reviews good or bad i just want to know if im good or not so yeah. :) READ ON!**

Dear diary,

**I still feel sick just writing in this thing. **Oh hey now its still a gift. **Whatever. **We can eat him when the time comes. **No it would just make us sick if we eat him. **Maybe your right. **Today we saw Deidara throw sushi at Kisame. **Poor Kisame.

**I thought it was funny. **We even managed to catch some for a little snack. **He seemed pretty upset though seeing his own kind as food. **But it was still very delicious.

**We saw rosebush and sweet talked her some more. **O**h my s**weet **ros**ebush

-Zet**su**

Dear diary,

**Today we almost ate Deidara. **We almost got him too. **He kicked us on my side of our face. **I feel horrible about what he did to you. **Soon we'll eat him.** He would make such a nice snack.

**But I think we should let Itachi get to him first. **

-Zet**su **

**Food food rosebush and yummy people. **Food food rosebush and even more mummy people~~~

**My side of our face still hurts...**

-Zet**su**

Pain saw that the rest of the diary was filled with pictures of the rosebush. That was Pains favorite rosebush he planted it a few months ago. He might as well not call it his now. Pain shuddered at the sudden thought of Zetsu trying to flirt with it. Konan hadn't come back to his office.

'She probably went to bed' He thought. Pain prepared himself and sighed reaching over to the blue journal and started to read again.

Dear Diary,

I've never really been one to write but from what Tobi said I have to write my thoughts in here. So here it goes.

My name is Kisame I'm part fish and love to dance.

Nobody else knows that but me. Wow it feels good finally letting that out. Maybe Tobi is right it is good letting out your feelings.

Today I went to the river to do my 'dance on water' bit I have been practicing. I've gotten so much better but I haven't been able to fit my tights lately.

I'm so fat

-Kisame

Dear Diary,

Today I was walking with Itachi silently when I noticed that Deidara was following us the whole time. I was going to kick his ass for being a creep when he threw SUSHI AT ME!

SUSHI!

THAT GUY IS A SICK BASTARD! Some of them even landed on me and I couldn't help but run and cry. He's just not right. I managed to save some of them and thought I'd give them a proper burial.

R.I.P. My friends

-Kisame

Dear Diary,

Itachi is out on a mission its so boring now.

I ran into Hidan today and he was telling me about Deidaras stupid plan to make Itachi smile. So that's why he was following us!

Hidan then told me that he gave that dumb blonde some tips on how to make Itachi smile. He told that idiot to show up naked in his room and that blonde actually considered his idea! Ha! Dumb blonde!

He doesn't even know about Itachi being gay! Ha!

And not the gentle kind of gay either.

-Kisame

Dear Diary,

I was practicing my dancing today and my tights just won't fit me anymore. I'm starting to feel fat. After I was done throwing up my lunch I saw Sasori talking to Itachi. I couldn't help but try and listen to their conversation.

But they caught me and I asked how Sasori noticed me.

He said "It's kinda hard _not _to notice a person that's blue" Then he walked off.

I started to tear up a bit but Itachi handed me a box of tissues and walked off all quiet like he usually does and went to Sasoris room.

I peaked into the room and saw that Deidara seemed to be unconscious.

Then Itachi told me to go away while he unzipped his pants.

I sure as hell wasn't gonna stay so I left smiling.

Dumb blonde got what was coming to him.

-Kisame

Dear Diary,

Today I had to bury my fellow fish. It was sad that they had to go thru such horrors. I tried my best not to cry but I let it slip anyways. The funeral was beautiful.

Until Zetsu came out of nowhere and tried to eat them. I kicked him back into the ground. That bastard never knows when to stop eating things he shouldn't.

I saw Itachi and I decided to tell him about Deidaras plan. Itachis face was emotionless but knowing Itachi for so long he was jumping for joy inside. So he told me that he would be gone for a while to pick up some things for the 'special guest' that was coming ovier.

When he left I thought I would snoop in his room to see if he had any chocolate hidden. I found something alright. It was one of his porn magazines stashed under his mattress. Hoping I would see some sexy ladies. I dropped it as soon as I saw the first page and ran out.

I suddenly feel sorry for Deidara.

-Kisame

Dear Diary,

Today I was pretty bored and I ran into Itachi and I just couldn't look at him! Not after what I just found in his room! I mean I know he was gay but what I saw was madness! He kept asking me what was wrong and then he used his stupid jutsu so I could tell him what was wrong.

He just smiled and laughed like a maniac when I told him what I found in his room. It reminded me of Orochimaru and I hated that guys laugh.

When he released me from the jutsu he said that he had to go meet his 'special guest'

Now I really felt bad for Deidara.

Later that day walked by the room and heard moaning and a crack sound. I quickly ran as I thought about what was in the magazine.

-Kisame

Dear Diary,

Today I found Tobi in the cabinet hiding. He looked skinny and smelled like shit!

How long has he been in there?

Kisame

**A/N: What is Itachi hiding? Itachis diary is to come out soon but not too soon! I have finals this week so the chapters will be coming in slow! I hate my school but oh well! :D BTW dont forget to leave a review thanks for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: So heres chapter 3 sorry the last chapter was so short! I tried to make this one longer but yeah I have all these stupid tests to do! I hate MATH! Oh well enjoy the story!**

Dear Diary,

Today I was hanging out with Itachi. It wasn't as fun as it sounds. The whole time I was next to him I kept thinking about that magazine. Poor Deidara I saw him walking out of Itachi's room and I swear I saw bite marks on his shoulders. I saw Itachi make him a clay heart as a present for last night. I wish these images would just go away!

I just couldn't take the awkwardness around Itachi. So I just left to practice dancing when blondie came and ruined everything. He told me that he could make me feel better by taking me somewhere but it would be a '_suprise'_. So I went with him anyways. He thought he could make me feel better by taking me FISHING!

FISHING!

Does this guy have something against me? I swear I think he does because that was just sick. I couldn't help but cry as I watched this murderer slowly kill my own kind. I managed to save some. Then he got mad at me for throwing them back to their homes. I swear he's sick I don't know what Itachi sees in him but I hate him.

But then again, if it wasn't for Deidara I wouldn't have met Fish-Chan.

She was one of the fish I saved and we had a total connection. She is the definition of beuty. After we ditched Deidara we went back to my room to talk. Needless to say we made sweet love and it was so wonderful. I've never felt this kind of connection with anyone. Oh Fish-chan

Well diary Fish-Chan is calling me for round two. ;)

-Kisame

Dear Diary,

Today me and Fish-Chan were cuddling when I had to go on a quick trip with Kakuzu. He said it something about some people that owed him money and he said my Samehada would be of great help. So here I am writing while Kakuzu is tearing these guys apart. What pests.

-Kisa-

Pain looked at the page and noticed that there were spots of blood on it. He must have been fighting while writing . 'Why was he writing in his diary and fighting?' Pain thought to himself. He continued to read on.

Dear Diary,

That last mission with Kakuzu was a pain in my ass. Those guys just don't know when to quit, those greedy bastards.. Anyways I'm about to snuggle with Fish-Chan...I can't find Fish-Chan... I bet Barbie has something to do with this! Ill be right back diary…..

NOOOO! FISH-CHAN! SHE'S GONE! I HATE DEIDARA I HATE HIM! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM I DON'T CARE WHAT ITACHI SAYS!

-KISAME

"Oh great now I have to deal with Kisame's issues with Deidara" Pain thought aloud. He looked and saw ink spots and possibly drops of tears on the page. He chuckled as he remembered what Kisame wrote about calling Deidara a Barbie. Pein picked the journal with blood spots on it and began to read.

So today I start to pour out my 'feelings' into this diary Tobi gave me. This thing is worthless. Might as well just give it to Kakuzu to sell.

My name is Hidan and I am a Jashinist. Praise Lord Jashin.

I might use this as a sort of bible or something. Fuck Tobi and fuck Kakuzu for chopping my head off for the third time. (I keep telling him I'm immortal and it doesn't work but he just won't listen)

I wonder what's under Tobis mask anyways. I bet hes an ugly fucker since he tries to hide his face all the time. Its not my fault that he is cursed with an ugly face. I for one am a sexy motherfucka. Lord Jashin has blessed me with the sexiest body the world has ever seen.

I might even be sexier than Konan.

-Hidan

So anyways today I was just hangin with my man Kakuzu (lol Deidara talk) he was going on about how much money he needs and how money is the most important thing in the world. He's as boring as shit. So I tell him that he shouldn't hold on to such materialistic possessions and follow the way of Lord Jashin.

Then fucking Kakuzu cut my arms off! (again). After I yelled at him and got Konan to sew my arms back up (again) Why is Kakuzu so mean to me? Maybe hes just intimidated by my looks. Hey no one can look as sexy as me I mean cmon look at me.

I couldn't take anymore of Kakuzus attitude so I walked around and I saw Tobi in his room singing one of his dumb lollipop songs. He was about to take off his mask too until he noticed me and tried to make me dance with him. I kicked him off me because he kept trying to hug me. Annoying fuck.

I hate Tobi

-Hidan

Hey Diary hope you don't mind but my last rituals blood got on the cover so yeah. Her blood is now Jashin's to feast on.

Anyways today I saw Deidara follow Itachi around I wonder if those faggots might actually get together.(They would look good together no homo). When I approached him he started to ramble on about his mission of making Itachi smile. ( Good luck) So I decided to mess with him because he's supposedly 'not gay' and told him to show up in Itachis room naked and I laughed my ass off when he actually took me seriously.

What a dumbass he doesn't even know Itachis secret

-Hidan

So today I tried to get a glimpse of Tobis face under that stupid mask he wears but I just couldn't find him anywhere today. That's weird I always usually find him running around in circles in the living room. I don't even know why Leader-sama even let him join. Hes just an annoying brat, almost as worthless as Deidara if you ask me. I on the other hand was a good choice and was so glad Leadesama chose me to join the Akutsuki. I think I might even be better than all these other losers.

No wait scratch that I AM better than all of these losers.

Sincerely,

Sexy Hidan

Stupid Zetsu came out of the fucking ground today and tried to eat me! Whats that dudes problem anyways? I swear today I even saw him flirting with Pains rosebush.

What the hell is Zetsu anyways?

A talking cactus?

-Hidan

Today I saw Sasori and Itachi talking outside of his room. It looks like they were talking real buissness so I thought maybe I'll just eavesdrop on their conversation. All I heard was something about money and Deidara in Sasori's room. I couldn't really listen to all of it because they were whispering a little. I even saw Kisame trying to listen in and the big blue bastard got caught. So I thought I should leave so they wouldn't catch me too.

I went by Sasori's room and saw Itachi hovering over Deidara and I even saw Itachi finish. It was so gross and I was just about to run before Itachi caught me and grabbed me. He then gave me a piece of paper and walked off.

It had an address, a room number and the date and time.

-Sincerely

A scared Hidan

I'm so confused about the paper Itachi gave me yesterday. What does it mean? Does he want to meet me there? Is it a trap? Stupid Uchiha…..

But on the positive side of things I saw Deidara sneak into Itachi's room. Haha can't wait to see what he'll look like when he gets out of there after Itachi's done with him.

I wonder if I should tell him Itachi's seceret. Nah, let him find out on his own.

-Hidan

HAHAHA! I saw Deidara walk out of Itachi's room LIMPING! I asked what happened last night and said he couldn't remember! HAHA! Itachi date raped Deidara! This is so histarical! The dumb blonde is so oblivious! I even saw Itachi follow him and checking him out.

So today was all and good until I went into the kitchen to grab something to eat. I looked in the cabinet and saw Tobi curled up in a ball. I tried to get him out of there but he said that Deidara has to come find him because their playing hide and seek. I kicked him couple of times to try and get him out but he wouldn't budge so I went out to eat.

Tobi told me the game started about two days ago.

-Hidan

**A/N: Hidan finds Tobi in the cabinet too? What is Itachi's secret? You'll find out in the later chapters hopefully I have time to write while studying and going to school! Please leave reviews! Also message me if you want to help me with ideas! :P PEACE OUT!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Sorry i havent updated i just have no time to do it or im just too tired. But there is hope! School ends in two weeks to yay! Expect more stories and lots of chapters and updates! Enjoy! :D**

Today was my weekly Konan watch. Meaning I watch her change once a week and lets just say she has secrets under her cloak. I wonder if Pain knows what she wears underneath all of those bulky clothes. She occasionally does sexy poses and checks herself out. Her body is sexy but not as sexy as mine _obviously_.

When she left her room I got a bit curious. So I looked in her closet and drawers and looked at all of her sexy underwear. I thought what a waste, to have such sexy undergarments and not have someone with a sexy body wear them. So I took most of them to my room to save them and tried them on. I have to say I did look good. My favorite is the red lace thong.

Though I did end up ripping some of them. Oh well, my body was too sexy for them anyways.

-Sincerely

A sexy Hidan

Today Konan found out about me stealing her underwear. She got all pissed when she saw me wearing her favorite red thong. She even tried to take it off of me. She even had the nerve to barge into my room and look through my drawers and saw all of her underwear and some of those that couldn't handle my body.

I told her that I looked better in them than she ever did. Then she beat me up! She cut off my arm and ran off with it. When I ran after her and found her she said she hid it.

I've been looking for hours and I also noticed Zetsu in the all. He overheard our conversation! I have to find my arm before Zetsu does.

-Hidan

So the hunt for my arm began today. Of all the people that could over hear me and Konan's conversation why Zetsu? That fucking talking cactus thinks he could beat me? He will NOT have my arm for dinner, that sick bastard. So today I had to fight with him all day until I found his one weakness.

That's right that FUCKING rosebush! I'll burn it to the ground tonight so it'll distract him. The green bastard idle gonna get what's coming to him! That is MY ARM NOT HIS DINNER! MWUAAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHA

-HIDAN

"Psycho..." Paid said looking at the last letters and noticed it was written in blood. Pain was now fully disturbed by his group. He was also angry because that pshyco was now going to burn his rosebush! He knew Hidan was already a pshyco but now it seems like he finally snapped. He looked at the three remaining diary's as he was about to run out of his office and save his rosebush. When Konan walked into his office.

'Hello Konan thought you were asleep" Pain said as he slowly lowered back into his seat.

"OH yeah, well I couldn't sleep so I got bored and came in here to join you" She sat down on the chair in front of Pains desk.

"Why so jumpy Pain, did something happened while I was gone?" Pain thought for a bit staring at Konan remembering what Hidan wrote about watching her change then blused slightly. "Nothings wrong Konan" Pain turned his head to look at the journals on his desk trying not to bring up the subject.

"Ok…..any information that might be useful?" Konan smiled politely.

"Well if you count mindless ramblings and ridiculous writing then yes I've found some information" Pains voice was very sarcastic that made Konan make a face.

"Well gee sorry"

"I'm not giving up though I still have three more to go" Pain sighed at those last words.

"I'm guessing you want me to pick, neh?"

"Yes" Pain couldn't help but smirk at Konan.

"Umm...ok...the orange one" She flashed him a smile.

Pain reached to the orange journal and started to read.

Words like this are Tobi

**Words like this are Madara **

Dear Diary

Wow these diarys were really cheap I still have some money left over from buying them all! Maybe I'll buy some cookies because Tobi is a GOOD BOY!

Hello my name is Tobi! I love lollipops and Deidara-sempai! I am also a GOOD BOY!

Today I was in my room and I took off my mask though Madrara-sama got mad at Tobi for doing so but Tobi couldn't help himself! The mask looks like a lollipop so I had to taste it!

**Ugh I swear having this split personality takes its toll on me. Tobi is starting to take over more.**

**My name is Madara Uchiha I want to make the Uchiha clan the strongest clan in the world! I wish to have world domination! I hate the Senju clan too. World Domina-**

Tobi thinks Madara is scary Tobi is very tired now goodbye

-Tobi :)

Pain face palmed himself. _That idiot let his other personality take over maybe Hidan isn't the psycho one. _

Dear Dairy

Today I was checking out my mask in the mirror and I love how it looks like a lollipop! Tobi is a TASTY BOY! So I made up my own song about lollipops! Tobi is a musical genius! I saw Hidan today too I asked him to join me in my lovely song. But he probably was sick because when I tried to hug him he kicked me away. **Ahh...its because Hidan doesn't like you Tobi..I'm ending this diary entry..**

**-Madara**

**Today I saw Zetsu write in the diarys Tobi bought for him. He seemed pretty upset just looking at it, I told Tobi he wouldn't like it with him being a talking plant and all. Tobi is starting to take more and more control, he might get in the way of my world domination plan. His outbursts are starting to come more frequently….. **Tobi saw Zetsu flirting with rosebush! Rosebush and Zetsu are so cute together. I hope to give them a wedding so they can have little rosebushes and Zetsus!

-Tobi

Today I saw Hidan talking to Kisame about Deidara-sempai! They said something about showing up naked in Itachi-sans room naked! Madara wants to talk now poo...**Damn Tobi. I didn't know Itachi was gay! How are we going to repopulate out clan now? I guess I can ask for some of his sperm...or take it from him. I wish I could just go up to him and talk to him. But I cant blow my cover in the Akutsuki as Tobi. The only people that know of my identity is Pain and Konan and I aim to keep it that way...for now.**

**-Madara **

Pain looked at and saw nothing but pictures of lollipops and "World Domination" in the whole diary. Poor Madara was having a fight with his own mind. Why did he even create Tobi? Pain had to admit Tobi was more entertaining than Madara.

"Konan pick" Pain looked up at Konan showing her a sheepish smile.

"Ugh fine" She groaned. "That red one there" She sat back down and grinned.

**A/N: OMG! Whos diary is next? Can you guess? New chapters will be up soon i promise! Im also sorry that this chapter was so short as I said earlier school will end in two weeks so i will have more time to write unless i get put in summer school...(Hopefully that wont happen)**

Pain took the red journal and started to read.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:Sorry! For this chapter its sooo short BUT! I have been working on a new story and havent had much inspiration! Next chapter will be up much sooner! Im working on it right now! :D**

Dear Diary,

My name is Sasori.

I like puppets and poison and eternal art.

I dislike loud people and people who don't think art is eternal. (Deidara)

I am a puppet which makes me immortal which also makes me an eternal work of art.(No Homo)

So I suppose I am to write about my day as Tobi instructed.

Today Tobi had bought us all diary's, which was a waste of my precious time finishing my puppets. So I kicked him onto some bookshelf's making them all fall on top of each other. Whilst Tobi was getting yelled at for falling on the bookshelf's me and Kakuzu went to go eat at a Dango shop.

He was pretty mad at Tobi for wasting money so he ripped up the diary that Tobi gave him. His fun was soon over when Tobi came over and told him to sew it back up or he'll cry.

Poor bastard

-Sasori

Dear Diary

Today while I was going to buy parts for my puppet I saw Kisame and Deidara arguing. Which ended with Deidara throwing sushi at Kisame. Thank goodness I brought my laughing puppet. (Yes I use puppets to show my emotions, sue me) I also saw Zetsu talking to Leader-sama's rosebush.

I'm going to have to make a puppet to show this new emotion that I feel. I think its called feeling "Disturbed"

-Sasori

Dear Diary,

Today I overheard Kisame and Hidan talking. Apparently the dumb blonde actually took Hidan seriously. Why of all people is Deidara my partner? I mean all he does is complain and blow things up saying it art. He even tries to get me to brush his hair sometimes. (Ugh) His way of thinking is just plain retarded. I even asked him today about Hidan's idea and he thought it was a great idea!

Doesent he know Itachis secret?

Oh well lets just hope Itachi ends up killing him. (Heheh)

-Sasori

Dear Diary,

Today I was making the finishing touches on my puppet. When Deidara had to come in and ruin everything! Just as I was about to put in the last screw it blew up in MY FACE!

That was the last straw! I let the whole brushing his hair thing slide but I worked so hard on that puppet too! So I poisoned him.(Ha) I had to wait until it took affect to get my revenge . So I looked around for Itachi because I had heard he came back from his mission. So I made business with Itachi. I told him that Deidara was unconscious and in his room. I told him he could do whatever he wanted to him for 20 dollars. Needless to say Itachi gladly payed.

Dumb Blonde got what was coming to him.

-Sasori

Dear Diary,

Today Zetsu came out and tried to eat me but once he took a bite of my leg he ran off crying. Stupid cactus forgot that I'm a puppet.(Ha)I hope he got splinters in his mouth. I also saw Deidara today. I had to bring my laughing puppet out to express how I was feeling. He kept complaining about how his head hurt and his hair getting all sticky.

It seems that Itachi had the time of his life.

-Sasori

Dear Diary,

Well it seems that Itachi wants to ask for a favor from me. He wants me to reserve a room at an inn. He said he would pay me back ten fold. I was a bit hesitant to accept but I did anyways. Mostly because he seems pretty desperate for Deidara. Oh well.

I cant get in the way of true love right?

-Sasori.

Pain saw that the rest of the pages were blank. He was starting to actually think that they might not be plotting against him. They're just a bunch of idiots. But Pain was worried about his rosebush. A tear rolled down his cheek.

"Hey umm…are you crying?" Konan asked.

"NO!" He quickly wiped it away.

"Ok….weirdo.."

"Don't you talk to me like that! Im the leader of the Akatsuki"

"Yeah, so?"

"Grrr….well whatever" He calmed himself.

He went back to looking at the journals only one left.

"Dike" He mumbled.

"Fag"

"Emo"

"Super Fag"

"Oh very clever"

"Ultra Super Fag"

Pain grumbled many curses under his breath which Konan replied in giggles. He collected himself and reached out towards the black journal and started to read.

**A/N: Sorry again for it being so short! Working on the next chapter! I just HAD to add an argument with Konan and Pain just for laughs! New story coming up also so yeah you guys might like it! But its romancy so yeah ;)**


End file.

Naruto, Humor