Naruto 1. Savage ManEating Bear

It's finally here! The sequel to Akatsuki's Insanity: Prisoners! I've finally gotten it written and now if everything remains calm I'll be updating more and fulfilling my promises. So here it is!...if you're just joining us now well...you don't _have_ to readthe first story but you'll be missing out on a lot hilarity

* * *

"Squatting Cat this is Squatting Dog. Over."

"Squatting Cat here. Where _are _you?"

"I don't know but there's a lot of trees around me." A white-haired girl replied into her walkie-talkie.

"No duh. We're in a _forest_." Her companion, a cat-demon, replied.

"Oooooooohhhhhhhhh...what's a forest?" The cat demoness sighed before replying,

"A place with a lot of trees...I think."

"You can think?" The white-haired girl asked shocked.

"I can think? It's a miracle! I have a brain!...wait...what's a brain?" The cat demoness asked into the walkie-talkie.

"I don't know. Do you?" The other girl asked.

"I don't know!" The demoness wailed. She took a step back.

**CRACK**

The two girls froze.

"Did you hear that Chey?" The white-haired girl asked.

"Yeah." Came the weak reply "I think it's a bear Asura." Asura paled and stepped back.

**CRACK**

"A hungry, savage, man-eating bear." Asura added taking another step back

**CRACK**

**CRACK**

Both girls felt something at their backs.

"Chey. It's right behind me." Asura whimpered.

"Same here." Chey muttered. She took a deep breath. "Okay. On the count of three turn around and kick with all your might." She ordered.

"Right." Asura nodded.

"One...two...THREE!!!!" Both girls turned around and kicked only to be flung backwards.

"Chey...?" Asura groaned raising her head.

"Asura...?" Chey did the same. In the bushes a man in a black cloak rolled his eyes.

'Bakas.' He thought as he stepped forward.

**CRACK**

In a flash Asura and Chey were on their feet and climbing up the nearest tree...well in Asura's case trying to. Chey was already at the top of the tree while Asura hung desperately on to the lowest branch, her feet just barely above the ground.

"Don't leave me down here for the bear to eat!" She cried up to Chey.

"I would but...I'm stuck." Chey snapped.

**CRACK**

In surprise Asura's arms gave out and she dropped to the ground. She smiled innocently at the man looking down on her.

"Hi Kisame!" She greeted him. "Did you see the savage man-eating bear." Kisame rolled his eyes and threw Asura over his shoulder.

"Come down here dumber!" He called to Chey.

"My name is one syllable! It's so easy to pronounce!...Besides, I'm stuck!" Chey screeched. Kisame shrugged.

"One less to worry about then." He muttered and walked away calmly ignoring Chey's insults. On Kisame's forest a small voice piped up.

"Kisame...what's a forest?" Kisame's eye twitched and said nothing.

* * *

"KISAME!!!!" A loud voice screeched as Chey stormed through the front door soaking wet. Kisame glanced up from his spot on the couch.

"Did the kitty have a bath?" He asked mockingly. Chey hissed.

"Chey come have some muffins!" Asura popped her head out of the kitchen. Instantly Chey perked up.

"Muffins?"

"Can Tobi have one? Tobi's a good boy!" Tobi asked eagerly.

"Yes Tobi is a good boy...unlike some others..."Chey commented glaring at Kisame who blinked. "Go ahead."

Tobi and Chey skipped into the kitchen to spot Hidan finishing up what seemed to be his fifth muffin.

"These are really good. I mean they aren't burnt, under-cooked, or as hard as a rock. What did you do different?" He asked.

"Some new type of flour we found in Deidara's bag." Asura said nonchalantly. Deidara who was passing by froze.

"Which bag?" He asked warily.

"Oh you know. The bag you wear around your waist everyday." Chey responded. Deidara and Hidan paled.

"That wasn't flour." Deidara ground out. "That was exploding clay." Hidan glanced down at his stomach.

"Uh-oh." In a flash Hidan was thrown out of the fourth story window by Deidara who was trying to do the same to the left-over muffins when three things happened at once.

1) Hidan and the muffins exploded.

2) The kitchen exploded for the eighth time that week

3) Leader came home...or what was left of it.

* * *

Don't worry any Hidan lovers. He'll be just fine...but Asura and Chey might not be. R&R! 


	2. At the Market

Sorry it's been so long. I kinda lost my inspiration for awhile but it should be back now!

* * *

"I can't believe that you could do something so idiotic!" Pein a.k.a Leader was raging up a storm at this point. Of course he had every right to be pissed. They had to change bases for the fourth time that month. "How do you even mistake clay for flour?"

Asura shrugged. Chey glared at her and turned to the pissed off man.

"Why am I getting yelled at? I wasn't even here when she cooked them!" She whined. That information confused Pein immensely. The moron twins (as he had dubbed them in his mind) had been separated? That only happened when-

"I was too busy trying to get down from that stupid tree!"

Yep. Exactly as he thought.

"And why exactly were you up a tree?"

Asura gasped.

"That's right Chey! We forgot about the savage man-eating bear! It could be attacking innocent people at this very moment."

Pein sweat-dropped.

"If I didn't have first-hand information, there would be no way I could believe they are S-ranked criminals…." He grumbled to himself.

"You're banned from the kitchen from now on." He declared. An idea sparked in his head. "And you need to apologize to Hidan once he's put back together."

Chey and Asura groaned.

"Anything but that! Please!" Asura begged. "He'll never let it go." Chey nodded in agreement. Pein merely shook his head and stalked off. Now he had to go through and see what needed restocking from the previous mishap.

Chey and Asura sighed, looking at each other.

"So we apologize and then what?" Chey asked, almost sadly.

"Blow Hidan up again?" Asura suggested. She couldn't really stand Hidan and his religious crap.

"I heard that!" Hidan shouted from the other room. Asura paled. Chey giggled and burst into the room where Hidan was placing his last finger back on his hand.

"Hidan! My dear! I am sssssssssssoooooooooooooo sorry, even though I did nothing!" Chey declared wrapping Hidan in a huge hug.

The rest of the Akatsuki stared at her curiously. Was Chey actually hugging someone other than Asura?

Asura quickly caught on to what Chey was doing.

"I too am sorry!" She announced. "I am, and forever will be, a true idiot!" Asura hugged Hidan as well, secretly twitching on the inside.

Hidan wasn't quite sure what to do. This was the first time he had been hugged by the two. It was extremely awkward, especially since Asura normally hated his very presence. After a moment, he shoved the two off of him.

"You two are weird." Was all he said before stalking off, most likely to go pray. As he turned his back to everyone, they had to resist laughing. Now they understood, as they watched Hidan go, a pretty pink bow attached to the back of his head, entwined in his hair. On his back was a sign that read "Will love anyone that hits on me with a corny line!"

"Should we tell him?" Kakuza wondered aloud. "We do have a mission today."

Zetsu shook his head.

"He will find out on his own." The white side of him said.

"And this will make things much more interesting." The black side of him commented. Chey and Asura nodded in agreement. They smiled widely at Deidara who had just walked in. He sighed.

"Kisame, you and I need to take dumb, dumber, and dumbest with us on our shopping trip, yeah." He muttered reluctantly.

For some reason, Kisame and Deidara REALLY didn't like the evil grins that spread across Chey and Asura's faces.

* * *

"Oi! We need to go dummies!" Kisame yelled up the stairs, finally frustrated. He had been yelling for about 15 minutes now. Deidara only sighed.

"You're doing it wrong, yeah." He commented. "You need to get their attention like this, yeah"

He faced the stairs.

"If you aren't out the door in 30 seconds, yeah, we won't buy muffins or fudge, yeah!" He called. Two loud gasps were heard and two shapes rushed down the stairs and past the two men.

"COME ON!!!!!!!!" The two girls shouted. Kisame winced, preparing for the migraine heading his way. After all, how could he escape a migraine when dealing with 3 hyper-active people with only one other person that was remotely sane?

* * *

"Why do we have to walk everywhere?" Chey whined for what seemed to be the millionth time.

"Because there is no other way to get around." Kisame grit out through clenched teeth.

"Why is there no other way to get around?" Asura asked.

"No one's invented any other way yet, yeah." Deidara muttered.

"Why not?" Chey sighed sadly.

"Just because." Kisame was already irritated and they had just gotten in the nearest village.

"Because why?" Kisame clenched his hands into fists

"I swear to whoever's holy if you won't shut up I'll beat you into a different dimension." He growled.

Chey and Asura gulped.

"Is it just me or does Kisame seem really cranky today?" Chey whispered to her friend.

"I wonder why?" Asura remarked, and then shivered at the intense glares being sent her and Chey's way.

"Finally, yeah." Deidara muttered as the market came in sight. Chey, Tobi, and Asura gaped at the sight of the huge building.

"Now there are some rules, yeah." He turned to the three. Tobi nodded eagerly while Chey and Asura snickered. When rules were laid down, the two did whatever they could to break them. They even made bets on how long it would take.

"First: you have to stay in sight of either me or Kisame, preferably Kisame, yeah."

"OI!" Kisame glared at Deidara who merely shrugged.

"Second: No sugar, yeah."

Chey and Asura groaned, just so the two wouldn't suspect anything.

"Third: If you want to buy something, you have to check with us, yeah."

Chey raised an eyebrow. Clearly they didn't know anything about smuggling.

"Fourth: Behave…" Deidara didn't get a chance to add the threat on the end because Chey, Tobi, and Asura took off, the two females screaming at the top of their heads,

"SWEET FREEDOM!!!!!!!!"

"This is going to be a long day, yeah." He commented sadly, before chasing after Tobi, who had separated from the girls. Kisame winced when he saw Asura trying to climb to the top of one of the food pyramids. She had only gotten halfway up when Chey knocked it over, causing food to splatter all over and land on both of them.

"There's no way in hell that we'll make it to the New Year." He sighed.

"Kisame, Kisame!!" Asura shouted. "Can we get this? Please?"

Kisame sweat-dropped when he saw what she was holding up.

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!!!!" He shouted at the top of his lungs. She was holding up what every Akatsuki member would dread. Pixi Stix. Pure flavored sugar.

"But why not?" Asura whimpered

"Rule number two: No sugar." Kisame repeated. He was so focused on the pixi stixs in Asura's hand that he didn't notice Chey slipping about two dozen packs of them under her cloak. Two rules broken in less than a minute. Nowhere near their record, but they couldn't get near it with only four rules and just the two of them. If they wanted to break their record they would need another person and a whole lot of more rules.

Something caught Asura's eye. She nodded to Chey and tossed the bag of sugary treats her way.

"Run Chey, run!" She shouted. Kisame wheeled around and launched himself at Chey, who screeched. Once Asura was positive Chey had all of Kisame's attention, she grabbed the object she had her eye on, and slipped it into a small pocket in her cloak.

"Where's Deidara?" She asked innocently to her companions. Kisame had successfully pinned Chey down and was trying to rip the bag out of her hands. He screeched in reply, as Chey had sunk her fangs into his wrist.

"Ewww!" Chey squealed. "Shark blood!" She flung Kisame across the floor and stood up, spitting out the blood in her mouth.

"Is no one going to answer my question?" Asura demanded. Chey pointed to a few aisles down where Tobi was running around, shrieking his head off. Deidara was chasing after him screaming,

"Give me the crackers, yeah, or I'll blow you up, yeah!"

Asura sighed and wiped a fake tear away from her eyes.

"They grow up so fast." She sighed again. Chey gave her a confused look.

"And you became their mother when?" She asked somewhat sarcastically. Her eyes widened suddenly.

"We still have two more rules to break." She realized.

"You already broke two?" Chey looked up to see Kisame towering over her. She laughed nervously.

"Hehehe…..what about that…" She trailed off and took off running. "Run, Asura,run! Buy something if you have a chance!"

"Okay!" Asura replied, taking off in the other direction. Kisame was at a loss. He wasn't supposed to let either one of them out of his sight and Deidara had his hands full with Tobi.

"Three rules broken in five minutes." He grumbled, before taking after the one most likely to cause the most trouble, dumbest a.k.a Asura. "This is the last time they go shopping together."

He found Asura at the entrance, swinging a bag happily. "Look Kisame! We broke all four rules in five minutes!" Kisame only sighed.

"Why did we even try?" He said almost inaudibly, grabbing Asura and dragging her to go find Chey.

"Oi! Dumber! Where did you go?" He called.

"You lost her, yeah!" Kisame turned to face a furious Deidara who had Tobi in a choke-hold.

"It wasn't like I had a choice! They went in two different directions!" Kisame protested.

"Ever heard of the shadow clone technique, yeah?"

"…Let's just find her before something explodes!" Kisame pointed out. Asura giggled remembering what always seemed to happen when Chey was around food. Explosions, fires, floods, you name it, and it probably happened.

It didn't take long for the small group to find their missing member. What they saw though, was the last thing they expected. I mean, why would they expect to see a feared Akatsuki member shrieking in terror and running around in circles with another girl chasing after her, swordfish in hand?

* * *

That's all for now but I have some ideas in my mind and will probably get another chapter up! Thanks to Lady Ayami for the great ideas and my inspiration!


	3. The New Girl

Like I said, I'm currently on a roll, so enjoy the chapters while the roll is rolling!

* * *

"Get back here you evil person!" The girl chasing after Chey had the same shade of black hair but instead of violet eyes, her eyes were gold and alit with fury. "You will pay for what you did!"

"Oh, this is not going to end well, yeah." Deidara murmured. Kisame snickered at the cat demon's predicament.

"What the hell?!?!" Chey screeched. "Who are you?"

"Don't worry Chey!" Asura called grabbing the breadstick out of her bag. "I'll save you!" She began chasing after the unknown girl, waving the breadstick around madly.

"Wait you idiot!" Chey called. "Why do you want me to chase you? Chase her!"

"I am chasing her!"

"No you aren't!"

"Am too!"

"Are not!"

Asura turned to face Chey and suddenly stopped, pointing the breadstick at her.

"We are not doing this right now!" She declared, as Chey tried to skid to a halt. She didn't manage in time and had to duck to avoid Asura's breadstick.

"Take this you criminals!" The unknown girl lifted the swordfish and tried to stab Chey, only managing to miss and scratch Asura.

"You little monkey!" Asura cried, looking at the scratch. Chey cowered behind a stand of tomatoes. "This means WAR!!!!" She leapt at her opponent, still waving the breadstick as a sword. The unknown girl effortlessly cut the breadstick to pieces. Asura gulped as the swordfish appeared in front of her face.

"Now you will pay for what you did to my friends." The girl said threateningly, golden eyes in narrow slits.

"Help me!" Asura screamed.

"Don't worry help is on the way!" Chey called launching a tomato at the girl threatening Asura. It hit her on the back of her head, and the ones that followed landed on other various body parts. The girl spun around.

"You got food in my hair…" She spat out dangerously.

"Yeah, I did." Chey replied cockily. "Whatcha gonna do 'bout it?"

Asura took her chance and leapt for the nearby potato stand. She grabbed a couple of them and began chucking them. The unknown girl squealed and made a hand sign. Smoke appeared almost immediately, wrapping around the Akatsuki members and the girl. She took a chance and grabbed a large black cloth laying on the ground, wrapping it around her

"Cool! Ninja food fight!" Tobi cried and tried to find something to throw. Deidara sighed and grabbed the young man.

"Kisame take care of this, yeah. We'll come back later, without the idiots, yeah." Deidara called before disappearing from sight. Kisame growled at him, wiping tears from his eyes. He really hated smoke, as it made it near impossible to see anything. Somehow, he managed to grab all three girls and knock them unconscious. Once all three of them were unconscious, the smoke cleared, allowing Kisame to see properly once again. With a sigh, he grabbed the Chey and Asura by their Akatsuki cloaks and started after Deidara, leaving the unknown girl behind.

A couple minutes later, she groaned, slowly opening her violet eyes. A pair of cat ears poked out of her hair and they twitched a couple times. Sitting up, the girl looked around.

"Those jerks ditched me!" She shouted angrily, seeing no one nearby. Actually, no one else was in the market period. Sighing, she glanced down, hoping to find some pixi stixs to cheer her up. What she saw only made her more angry. "And they took my cloak!"

* * *

"Jeez Kisame, did you have to hit so hard?" Asura grumbled, rubbing the back of her head.

"Did you have to break all four rules in five minutes?" Kisame snarled in reply, keeping an eye on a still unconscious Chey.

"You must have hit her really hard, Kisame." Sasori said calmly. "Normally, Dumber is awake first."

The rest of the Akatsuki members nodded in agreement.

"Umm….I hate to break it to you but this isn't Dumber." Everyone turned to face Kakuzu who was examining one of Chey's hands.

"She has a name you know." Asura pointed out. "So do I. I don't know why it's so hard to call us by them."

"We'll call you by your names when you earn our respect." Itachi said, flipping a page of his book.

"But that's like impossible!" Asura whined.

"Hence why you two will always be known as Dumber and Dumbest to us."

"Wait a minute! What about Dumb?"

"That's me!" Tobi cried, throwing his arms up. Asura sighed.

"That's not a good thing Tobi." She muttered.

"Can we get back to the situation at hand?" Kakuzu asked. "We have a girl here who is not Dumber."

"How are you so certain, yeah?" Deidara demanded.

"This girl is taller, taller than Itachi, while Dumber only goes up to Itachi's shoulder. She also doesn't have the painted nails like everyone else does, though they look a lot like claws. Her ears are on the side of her head and are normal human ears, not like those stupid cat ears."

"Don't call Hebert and Bob STUPID!!!!" Kakuzu went flying into the nearest wall. "And you!" Kisame felt a hand pulling him down and soon he was face to face with angry violet eyes.

"You abandoned me!" Chey wailed. "You took my cloak and left me in that scary place!"

"It was just a market, yeah." Deidara pointed out.

"Until you left! Then these scary people came and tried to lock me away!" Asura snickered at the comment.

"They thought you were insane!" She cried, breaking down in laughter.

"It's not funny!" Chey whined. "It's insulting. I'm a perfectly normal person!"

"By what standards?" Hidan grumbled, still put off from their prank from earlier in the morning. He had gotten hit on by at least a thirty guys before Kakuzu gave in and pulled the sign off his back. He didn't even look like a girl!

Kisame groaned and stood up, dragging Chey up with him. He was a lot taller than her, so her feet were lifted off the ground.

"Put me down!" Chey demanded. Kisame gave her a look.

"Let go of my cloak then." Chey smiled awkwardly and let go, falling a couple inches.

"My cloak!" She cried yanking it off of the still unconscious, still unknown girl. The girl landed on the ground with a thud and a groan escaped her.

"Finally she's awake." Sasori said, slightly relieved. He hadn't wanted Pein to come home to a dead body on their living room floor, and before the groan, he had been starting to doubt she was still alive. At least now they could get some answers and maybe a new puppet.

"Hey Chey, doesn't she look kinda familiar?" Asura looked closely at the girl who was in the process of regaining consciousness.

"Yeah, she looks like a taller version of me." Chey replied off-handedly. "Now if you excuse me, I'm going to dump my stash in my room."

"Stash?" Everyone looked at the girl, partially scared.

"You really don't think I was going to buy something when I could just steal it?" Chey asked in disbelief. "Jeez, don't you know the meaning of criminal?"

"She has a point." Kakuzu stated. "We could save so much money that way."

Hidan groaned.

"There you go with the money thing again! For the last time, it's not Jashin-sama, so it shouldn't be important." He complained.

"Not everyone worships your stupid Jashin." Kakuzu snarled. "Besides, money actually exists."

"Shut up!" The entire room snapped, having heard this argument many times before.

"Chey, could you do me a favor?" Asura asked sweetly, adopting a puppy dog look.

"What?" Chey was starting to get irritated.

"Can you introduce this little guy to Lightning?" The Akatsuki gaped in amazement as Asura pulled a small kitten out of a pocket.

"You got a kitty?" Chey asked, immediately adoring the small black kitten. It had a white spot on its chest and a white sock on his front right leg. He blinked at Chey, his red eyes adopting a sleepy look. "What's its name?"

"Fish-Killer." Asura replied promptly. Kisame raised an eyebrow.

"Fish-Killer? Why?" He asked.

"Because when I found him, he was trying to kill the fish in the tank next to him." Asura quickly snuggled with her new pet, before handing him to Chey. Fish-Killer caught sight of Kisame and hissed, trying to leap out of Chey's hands, claws extended. Kisame immediately backed away and Chey struggled to keep a hold of him.

"I know you want to kill him honey." She cooed, making her way up the nearest stairs. "But you can't do it in front of everyone like that. You have to do it in secret. I'll show you one day." There was a slight pause. "No, I won't kill him. You have dibs after all. I'll just find a different shark and kill him."

Kisame shivered.

"That's not how I want to go." He mumbled. "I'd rather die by my own sword, not being killed by a psycho and a crazy kitten."

Sasori chuckled.

"It would be an interesting funeral though. I can just imagine the eulogies. Kisame was a strong shinobi, and it was too bad that he ended up as all fishies do. Killed and eaten by a cat." The Akatsuki members turned to appraise their captive, who was now fully conscious.

"Finally, yeah. We have some questions for you, yeah." Deidara watched the girl carefully. She only blinked.

"Make it quick then. I have to find the Akatsuki and kill them." She responded, looking bored.

"Um, we are the Akatsuki." Hidan gestured to their robes. The girl's eyes widened.

"Oops." She said in a tiny voice.

"I'll take over the questioning from here." Pein's cold voice came from the doorway. "Itachi, bring her. You're going to make sure she answers me truthfully." The girl gulped as she gazed into Itachi's Sharingan.

"Have fun!"Asura called as the girl was dragged away, waving cheerfully. "Stay away from Itachi though. He's mine." The remaining shinobi stared at her in disbelief. Itachi twitched slightly, but he kept on walking.

Asura continued smiling and shouted up the stairs.

"Hurry up Chey! We have to teach them strip poker, when Itachi gets back."

"What?" Asura's brows narrowed in confusion at the strange voice.

"Who're you?" She asked the strange blue-haired woman. The woman glared at her and Asura couldn't help noticing the glare was softened by the origami flower in her hair.

'I should really learn origami.' She thought. 'Then I could make turtles and name them Fred!'

Asura was drawn out of her thoughts by Kisame hitting her upside the head.

"Ow! That place is still sensitive you know!" She cried, rubbing the new bruise.

"Sorry Konan." The white side of Zetsu sighed.

"She's an idiot." The black side replied.

"She's a new member." White Zetsu continued.

"Along with another girl." Black Zetsu pointed to Chey, who was eagerly bouncing on the stairs, excited to play cards.

"Their names are Chey and Asura." Sasori took over. "We mainly call them Dumber and Dumbest."

"Why wasn't I informed sooner?" Konan demanded.

"We were too busy moving bases and trying to save our sanity." Hidan growled, glaring at the two girls.

"And Hidan kept trying to kill himself."Chey added.

"They were rituals to Jashin-sama, dammit!"

"Sure…"Asura drawled. "Now let's play strip poker!"

"Don't you want to wait for Itachi?" Chey asked innocently. "And maybe get prepared, because honestly, you suck at cards."

"That is so not true! I can beat you at spoons any day!" Asura snapped.

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-huh!"

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-huh!"

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-huh!"

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-huh!"

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-huh!"

"Nuh-uh."

"Uh-huh!"

"Nuh-uh."

"CHEY! ASURA!" Pein's enraged shout came. "GET YOUR ASSES IN HERE!"

Chey and Asura gulped.

"I guess strip poker has to be cancelled for tonight." Chey remarked sadly as the two began their walk of dread down towards the interrogation room.

Konan watched them go, before turning to the Akatsuki.

"So I'm gone for a couple months and everything's gone to hell?" She asked dryly. The other members grimaced.

"Yes." Came a resounding reply.

"Tobi is a good boy!"

* * *

Thank you Lady Ayami for everything! Read and Review!


	4. A New Sister and Member

Here I am again. This one may not be as funny because it's mainly a filler chapter

* * *

"What do you want?" Chey poked her head in the interrogation room cautiously. Asura sighed and shoved Chey in the room before strolling in casually.

"Hi Itachi!" Asura waved enthusiastically to the stoic man.

The girl next to him gave disbelieving looks as she gazed at the two Akatsuki members.

"Nuh-uh. No way. These aren't my sisters." She declared.

Chey gasped in shock.

"I KNOW YOU!!!" She screamed.

Pein sighed.

"You should. She claims to be another adopted sister of yours." He rubbed his temple, feeling an oncoming migraine.

"But why would Chey's sister attack her with a swordfish?" Asura inquired. She looked the girl over and then at Chey. "Actually, never mind. I've met her family."

"You should have. You're part of it." Chey snapped. "But that's not any of my sisters. That's the girl."

"What girl?" Asura asked. "We know so many."

"You know….the girl with the swordfish…"

"Oh! That girl!"

Pein sighed and the girl growled.

"Dammit! It's me Ayami, if you are really Chey and Asura!"

"Are those our names?" Chey asked. "I've forgotten them."

Pein and Itachi groaned.

"I TOLD YOU SO!!!!!!!!!!!" Ayami shouted. "You brainwash your members! That's just plain evil!"

"Actually, we're not brainwashed." Asura claimed. "Everyone just calls us Dumber and Dumbest."

Ayami gasped.

"Cool! I want a nickname like that!" She cried.

"Well you can't." Asura declared. "You have to be a member to get a fancy nickname."

Itachi's eye twitched.

"I can't believe you let them become members." He hissed at Pein.

Pein shrugged.

"Get them really pissed off. Then you'll see why." He stated, the migraine already beginning. "Actually, let Hidan do that…he's the immortal one."

Itachi merely nodded and winced as Chey shrieked,

"Holy crap! AYAMI!!!" She launched herself at the girl. Ayami groaned as she fell to the ground, pinned beneath Chey. She noticed the twitching ears and let out a high-pitched squeal.

"OMG! It really is you Chey!"

"Someone want to let Asura in?" Asura asked.

"It's Ayami!" Chey squealed, hugging her old friend and other adopted sister. "Remember? Us three were a team in Konoha before we bailed?"

Asura's eyes widened.

"Oh yeah! With Gai-sensei and Shika-sensei!" Asura laughed. "Those were good times. I can't believe we forgot our own sister!"

Ayami shrugged.

"'Tis okay. I kinda forgot about you guys as well. I only remembered when I overheard some guys talking about killing you."

Chey and Asura gasped.

"Why would anyone want to kill us?" Chey wondered. A choked laugh came from behind them. The three girls turned to see the rest of the Akatsuki listening in on their conversation

"Why would anyone not want to kill you?" Kisame replied.

All three girls glared at him.

"You'll never guess what happened!" Ayami decided to ignore everyone else, wanting to catch up with the sisters she hadn't seen in five years.

"What?"

"Shika-sensei got married and has a kid." Ayami began.

"Shikamaru?" Chey asked. Ayami nodded.

"And Gai-sensei got another team!"

Chey and Asura laughed in a slightly evil tone.

"I hope they enjoy his new personality. I mean he was such a stiff before he met us." Asura sighed, fondly remembering the time they had with their two senseis.

"One of his students is just like him!" Ayami said, giggling.

"Bushy-brows?" Chey asked. Ayami gave her a curious expression.

"That's what Naruto calls him, yeah." She agreed. "How'd you know?"

Chey shrugged.

"I got my ways." She claimed.

"Don't you remember? Chey knows everything!" Asura pointed out.

Everyone besides the three girls raised an eyebrow.

"Except what a forest is." Kisame reminded them. Deidara, Hidan, and Kakuzu broke out in snickers. Asura glared at him.

"I do have a cat named Fish-Killer now." She reminded the shark man. "And according to his and Chey's conversation, he's going to kill you one day."

Kisame paled, making it Ayami and Chey's turn to snicker.

"Now children behave." Konan and Pein said wearily. Ayami turned to appraise the two.

"Are you two a couple?" She asked bluntly. Konan and Pein gaped at her in shock.

"You're kidding right?" Sasori asked. "They've been lovers since before they joined."

Konan glared at the puppeteer.

"Shut up." She growled.

"Shame on you Pein!" Asura cried.

"Yeah! You don't want to have to get married just because you were stupid enough not to use protection!" Chey agreed.

The Akatsuki regarded Chey curiously.

"If she gets pregnant, they kind of have to get married." Chey explained.

"Oi! Who says I'm getting pregnant or married?" Konan demanded. "Plus, our personal life is none of your business."

"Yes it is." Ayami looked around. "You all live in the same place." Chey and Asura nodded in agreement.

Konan glared at them. It had been less than an hour and she already had an intense dislike for the three girls.

"Come on Ayami! You can share our room." Asura decided. She pulled on her sister's hand.

"No she isn't." Pein broke in. "She's not a member."

"Yes she is!" Chey protested. "From now on. I declare her to be."

"Hate to break it to you, yeah, but only Leader can decide that, yeah." Deidara commented.

Chey and Asura turned to Pein.

"If you don't make her a member we quit!" The two said together, wrapping their arms around Ayami protectively.

"If you quit, we'll kill you." Hidan grinned. "I don't know, maybe you two will become my newest sacrifices or a puppet for Sasori.

The three sisters ignored him and looked at Pein with their best puppy dog looks. Behind them, his other members secretly begged him not to even think about it.

'Crap!' Pein thought. 'If I let her in, then we'll all go insane. Who knows what'll happen? But then again, if I don't, they'll quit and end up dead. That's the last thing I need. I really need their powers…'

Reluctantly Pein weighed his possibilities. After a couple minutes he uttered the dreaded words.

"Welcome to the Akatsuki."

* * *

The poor Akatsuki. Now they have thrice the trouble! R&R!!


	5. The First Mission

"Peek-a-boo!" Chey giggled as she uncovered her eyes once again.

Everyone else in the room groaned as she began to cover her eyes again, and spun around in a circle. After a moment she suddenly halted, facing Kisame, who was one peek-a-boo away from snapping her neck.

"Peek-a-boo Kisame!" Chey cried. Kisame growled and lunged at the demoness, only to miss her completely.

"Missed her, missed her, now you got to kiss her!" Ayami and Asura called, as Chey waved at Kisame from the other side of the room. The two looked at them with horrified looks.

"What!" Chey screeched. "I ain't kissin' Fish-face! Absolutely not!"

Kisame blinked.

"Am I that disgusting?" He asked the closest SANE Akatsuki member, that just happened Deidara, who looked at him like he had finally joined the loony bin.

"Seriously, yeah?"

Kisame blushed.

"I really need to get away from here." He muttered. "Any longer and I'll end up like them." Kisame glared at the three girls, who had somehow ended up playing peek-a-boo with each other.

Everyone in the room shuddered and sent imploring looks as Pein walked in.

"Alright! Everyone is going on missions. Tobi, you go with Zetsu for this mission. You two are going to the Land of Earth to assassinate the following people," Pein tossed a bingo book their way and continued. "And possibly find any Jinchuuriki."

Tobi clapped his hands together with excitement, while Zetsu merely nodded.

Pein sighed, knowing what he was about to say next might cause an uprising against him by his members.

"I need all the other teams to go find and bring back certain shinobi." He announced.

"Isn't that a bad idea?" Hidan asked. "If we're all gone, then who's going to watch Dumber, Dumbest, and Dummie?" Yes, Ayami had finally gotten her "cool nickname". It was due to her changing personalities that she had gotten a nickname that would fit in anywhere.

Pein grimaced and his members began to panic. He wouldn't be that cruel, would he?

"Asura, Chey, Ayami, you three get to go on your first missions as Akatsuki members."

Apparently he would.

"SWEET!!!!!!!!" The girls shouted.

"We promise we won't fail." Chey declared and the two others nodded enthusiastically.

"It'll be just like old times." Asura sighed happily. "Us three and the wild."

Pein raised an eyebrow.

"You actually think I put the three of you on the same team?" He almost started laughing right there and then. "No way in hell."

Everyone gaped at him.

"Ayami, Deidara, and Sasori, you three are in charge of finding and bringing here Rock Lee from Konoha." Deidara secretly sighed with relief. He didn't know what he would've done if he had gotten stuck with one of the other two girls. Probably kill them…

"Asura, Hidan, Kakuzu, you three need to do the same with Shikamaru of Konoha."

"NO!" Asura and Hidan cried, glaring at each other.

"Seriously leader, they're going to kill each other before we even get out of the base." Kakuzu pointed out. Pein just ignored them and turned to Kisame who looked like he was about to cry.

"Please no…" He begged. Pein smirked slightly.

"Chey, Itachi, Kisame, you three will do the same with Ino of Konoha."

Kisame sighed sadly. He might as well start writing his suicide notes now. Itachi blinked, while Chey began to snigger.

"Did you do that on purpose? Set us up so we kidnap the people closest to our old senseis?" She asked. "Well at least in A and A's case…I just get the pig."

"A and A?"

Chey shrugged.

"A and A. AA. Asura and Ayami?" She offered. Sasori snorted.

"AA, Alcoholics Anonymous." He laughed. Deidara shivered.

"I never want to see them drunk…"He whispered, horrified. He could only imagine what would happen.

"What pig?" Asura questioned. "Plus, you can't make us fight against our old senseis! That's cruel and unusual punishment."

"That's life." Hidan grumbled. "Now shut up."

Asura adopted a deadly look.

"Don't tell me to shut up you…you….freak of nature!" She shouted.

Hidan smirked.

"I'm the freak of nature?" He questioned. "At least I don't get PMS." All the males in the room winced at that and sighed when Hidan flew through three sets of walls, and landed outside the base.

"I told you so." Kakuzu murmured. Pein rolled his eyes.

"So what's this about a pig?" A still pissed off Asura turned to Chey. She shrugged.

"Ino-pig?" She said. "It's the nickname…"

Ayami grinned.

"That's such a stupid nickname. Ours are way better! Nice hit by the way."

Asura blushed at the last comment.

"Nowhere near as powerful as Chey's." She muttered.

Pein rubbed his temples, getting yet another migraine. They would really need to start stocking up on medicine for that.

"Just go." He demanded. "And don't come back here for at least another week."

Asura, Ayami and Chey saluted.

"Yes Ma'am!"They cried and ran out of the room before Pein could do anything. Sadly, their team members followed them.

"You just had to let them join." Konan muttered darkly. Pein glanced at her.

"I had to. They have powers unlike any others. Plus, I somehow feel like I've met them before, unfortunately."

Konan looked skeptical.

"I'm pretty positive you would've remembered them." She replied, before stalking away.

_**A few hours later**_

**With Hidan, Kakuzu, and Asura**

"But why can't we travel with Ayami and Chey?" Asura whined. "You're taking the fun out of everything. Besides, this is the long way!"

"We aren't travelling with your little buddies because we don't have a death wish." Hidan grumbled. "And your sense of direction sucks. This is the middle way. Sasori, the lucky bastard got the short way."

"But we're going to the same exact place." Asura pouted. Kakuzu sighed.

"Bigger groups attract more attention, especially with idiots involved." He informed the oblivious girl. "Now pay attention. You don't want to get yourself killed."

"I do." Hidan grumbled. "Life would be so much easier."

Kakuzu raised an eyebrow.

"Didn't you just say that life is cruel?" He smirked. Hidan glared at him.

"Oi!" Asura yelled. "Kisame won't appreciate you calling him an idiot!"

The men sweat-dropped but continued walking on.

"So why can't we travel with Ayami and Chey?" Asura asked after a moment of silence.

**With Deidara, Sasori, and Ayami**

"Deidara-chan? Can you make one of your cool birds? My legs are getting tired." Ayami whined.

"No, yeah!" Deidara snapped, secretly thinking _Do not strangle, do not strangle_.

"Can you give me a piggy-back ride then?"

"No, yeah!"_ Do not strangle, do not strangle._

"Carry me?"

"Go annoy Sasori, yeah!"_ Do not strangle, do not strangle._

"But it's funner to annoy you."

Deidara glowered at the girl._ Do not strangle, do not strangle._

"Funner isn't a word, yeah." He bit out.

"So? It annoys you." Ayami grinned cheekily at him. "And you shouldn't talk grammar with me, person-who-says-yeah-at-the-end-of-everything."

"I do not, yeah!" He halted in his steps and glared at the girl.

_She better not, yeah._

"I told you so." Ayami sang.

_Do not strangle, do not strangle, aw screw it, yeah._

**With Kisame, Itachi, and Chey**

"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, standing in a row! Big ones, small ones, ones the size of your head!"

"Coconuts can't stand." Itachi sighed as Kisame pointed out that little fact.

"Fine." Chey huffed. "Oh, I wear my pink pajamas in the summer when it's hot! And I wear my flannel nightie in the winter when it's not!"

"You hate pink and you hate anything that resembles a dress if it's not your cloak."

Chey's eyes narrowed.

"Bump bump went the little Mister Frog one day. Bump bump went the Lady Froggie too!"

"Didn't know you were interested in the mating habits of frogs."

Chey began to growl.

"The other day I saw a bear! A great big bear, oh way out there!"

"The savage man-eating bear that got you stuck in a tree?"

"I know a song that get's on everybody's nerves! Everybody's nerves!"

"That song was never annoying."

"One, two, three, the devil's after me! Four, five, six, he's always throwing bricks!"

"Can't blame him, it's the only thing that seems to knock you out for awhile."

"…Damn it Kisame! You take the fun out of everything!"

Itachi silently groaned. Why did he have to draw the short straw?

_**That night**_

"Hey guys!" Ayami whispered loudly.

"We're girls!" Asura whispered back.

"Sorry! Hey gals!"

"Did our plan work?" Asura asked Ayami, who shook her head.

"Chey's not here." A voice next to them whispered. "Why are we whispering?"

Ayami and Asura shrieked, and began to try and climb up the nearest tree.

"We've been discovered! Run for your life!" Asura squealed.

"Guys, it's just me. I was running late because Itachi wouldn't fall asleep." Chey leaned against a tree trunk and watched her friends as their minds began to process that it was indeed Chey who was there.

"We're girls!" Asura pointed out. Chey smirked. "And why did you say you weren't here when you really were? Are you trying to mess us up?"

"Nah, it's just easy to tease you."

Ayami and Asura glowered at their adopted sister, who ignored them.

"Now let's go!" Ayami declared. "We've got to get there before they do!"

Chey and Asura nodded eagerly.

The three of them travelled for a few hours before Asura realized something.

"Chey came up with this right?" She asked. Ayami nodded.

"Have you ever realized that Chey's plans are always the ones that get us into the most trouble?"

Ayami nodded again.

"But they're also the most fun." She replied cheerfully. "Now hurry up! I see Konoha!"

The three girls slowed down as they approached the hidden city's walled entrance.

"So how we gonna get in?" Ayami whispered. Asura rolled her eyes.

"The way we always snuck in!" She reminded her sister.

"But that hasn't been used in years! It's probably covered by all sorts of things, like bugs and snakes."

All three girls shuddered.

"Oh my god, Orochimaru. Bad thoughts. Change subjects now." Chey grimaced.

"Did you ever see his tongue changing into a sword trick?" Asura asked innocently. "It's pretty cool, once you get past the fact that it's his tongue."

Chey twitched.

"Found it!" Ayami cried. "It's like it's brand new." Chey and Asura rushed over to her and grinned slightly evilly when they saw the secret entrance into the city. It had been built by the first hokage for sudden evacuations, but had soon been forgotten. The three sisters had found it when they were running away from a severely pissed off ANBU. The even better part was that it lead to almost everywhere in the city.

"Good times in this place. Good times." Asura cheered quietly. "By the way, are you sure you won't leave sex for an Oreo Chey?"

"Yes!" Chey called as she slipped after Ayami into the hole. "If it was Pixi Stix then it's a different story."

Ayami and Asura rolled their eyes. Their eyes quickly adjusted to the dark light as they snuck through the tunnels.

"So where exactly are we coming out?"

"The closet in the hokage tower. That way we can come out of the closet!" Ayami announced. Chey and Asura turned to her.

"Something you're not telling us?" Asura asked blandly. Ayami shook her head.

"Just thought it would be fun to tell Leader. While we were on our first mission we decided to come out of the closet!"

All three laughed at what they imagined the looks on everyone's faces would be.

"Let's do it!"

"See. I have good ideas sometimes." Ayami declared proudly. "Now which way do we go?" They stared at the 7 tunnels before them.

"Uhhh….That way!" Each girl pointed in a different direction.

"Heh….So Ayami…Got any other ideas?" Asura asked as they just stood there.

"We could each go a different way." Ayami suggested.

"But what if the ways we go aren't the right ways? There're only three of us and seven tunnels." Asura pointed out. The sisters stood there stumped on what to do.

"Hold on!" Chey cried. "All of them lead into closets so it doesn't matter what ones we go through."

"Oh, yeah!" Asura and Ayami giggled at their slip of mind. "I can't believe we forgot the fact that we've been coming out of closets all our life…"

"See you on the other side, homies." Ayami cried as she disappeared down her chosen tunnel.

"Fo shizzle, my home dizzle." Asura cried and went running down the tunnel she had dubbed her favorite tunnel.

"Geez, I have weird friends." Chey grumbled and went through the nearest tunnel.

"Right back at you!" She heard two voices cry. Chey rolled her eyes, knowing that once her friends were out of sight, they had stopped, waiting to hear what she would say. The three of them grinned to themselves, and started to run down the dirt halls, feeling free and like when they were young and used to explore these tunnels for fun.

**With Asura**

"Crap, oh crap, oh crap." Asura muttered, glancing around frantically. "This was a bad idea, splitting up. With my luck there's bound to be a rabid donkey down here looking for something to eat…wait…are donkeys carnivorous?"

No answer came and Asura laughed awkwardly.

"Crap. I'm going insane, talking to myself. How does Chey do this without seeming crazy? Is there even a way…oh wait…Chey is crazy. She's the one who talked us into this crazy idea of completing our missions by ourselves…" Asura jumped as a crack resounded through the dark tunnel.

"Who's there?" She called. No response came and she began to get nervous.

"Crap, oh crap, oh crap. There's a rabid donkey following me. I'm going to die down here and no one will know. I'll come back a ghost and forever walk these dark hallways….AGH!!!"

Asura felt herself suddenly falling to the ground, having tripped over an unknown object.

"Please don't eat me Mr. Rabid Donkey!" She cried, squeezing her eyes shut. Dead silence met her ears, and after a moment, Asura reopened her eyes. She laughed awkwardly as she saw the wooden door in front of her.

"Well I found a door then. Should I open it though? Normally in these kind of situations, there's a murderer or a rapist hiding behind it, waiting for their next victim. On the other hand, I really need to get out of these tunnels…"

Asura continued her debate, completely forgetting where she was.

"But what if it leads to a boy's bathroom and I walk in on someone peeing?" Her eye twitched at the mere thought. "Or what if I walk in on someone….okay changing thoughts…"

A loud scream resounded through the empty halls and Asura gulped.

"Ah, screw it." She muttered and threw open the door and bolted up the steps that it revealed.

**With Ayami**

"Where, oh where did that little door go?" Ayami sang, giggling as her voice echoed throughout the hall. She glanced around, looking for the aforementioned door and seeing nothing but black.

"This is definitely the time when I wish I had Chey's eyes." She murmured before calling,

"Come out, come out, wherever you are Mr. Door!...Wait, why does the door have to always be a guy? Doors can be girls too, you know!"

Ayami sighed a moment later.

"I really don't get how Chey does this. It's so boring, trying to have a conversation and then getting no reply. Now where's that stupid door."

"Right in front of you." A cold voice came from further up the tunnel.

"Thanks!" Ayami replied, finding the door handle. She opened the door, but before she stepped foot into the small space, she froze.

"Um, who are you?" She asked timidly. Maybe Asura wasn't just being paranoid, with all her theories about murderers and rapists hiding in the dark to find innocent victims.

"An enemy." The voice replied. Ayami looked around frantically, trying to find some sort of body shape or eyes to show her where the person was.

"Of mine, or of Konoha?" She prodded, preparing to run.

"Of yours. " Ayami gulped. The voice continued on. "You used to be such a good girl Ayami. What happened?"

"Ummm…I don't know?" She replied.

"Why did you abandon Konoha?" The voice asked.

Ayami lost all ability to speak and to move. Was this guy a ghost or just really good at hiding? The voice continued to speak and Ayami began to shake.

"Why did you abandon the suckers?"

That last comment snapped Ayami back into reality.

"Don't come near me!" She shouted. "I've got a swordfish and I'm not afraid to use it!"

"But I have suckers Ayami. I'll give them to you if you come with me."

Ayami frantically shook her head.

"I don't care about the suckers." She said quietly. "Just leave me alone!"

"I'll give you Oreos." The voice bribed. "Just come with me and you'll have all the Oreos in the world."

"I don't want Oreos! I want…I want…I want my sisters!"

With that last declaration, Ayami collapsed to her knees and broke down in tears. She jumped when a hand suddenly placed itself on her shoulder and let out a piercing scream.

"Shika-sensei!"

**With Chey**

"So what door do we want to go up?" Chey asked herself, gazing at the two doors in front of her. Her violet eyes darkened to a coal black and when she spoke, her voice was harsher and more rustic.

"_Does it matterrr? We need to find the light eitherrrr way…"_

Chey's violet eyes glowed again.

"Right you are ChiChi! The left door it is!" Chey flung open the door and bounced up the steps. At the top, she faintly heard a scream and glanced down into the dark hole.

"I hope A and A haven't been hurt." She murmured quietly as her eyes shifted to black.

"_They'rrrre fine. But you arrren't. Look arrrround. How arrrre you going to get out of this dungeon?"_

The violet eyes came back.

"Crap. I knew I should've taken the right door." Chey grumbled. "Thanks a lot ChiChi."

"_Any time."_

Chey glared at the offending metal bars in front of her before grabbing two and spreading them apart, creating a hole big enough for her to squeeze through.

"Geez, Ibiki hasn't changed at all." She grumbled, immediately recognizing the office she had entered.

"No I haven't, just like you haven't." Chey spun around to see a familiar face glaring down at her. "I would've expected better from you. Your grandmother is so ashamed, having three granddaughters that have become S-ranked criminals. You could've been legends, you know."

Chey shrugged and blinked.

"So does this mean we're officially disowned?" She asked. Ibiki sighed.

"You aren't that lucky." He informed the girl. "Now sit down. I've sent your senseis to find your sisters."

Chey sat in one of the three chairs in front of Ibiki's desk as Ibiki sat in his own, keeping a careful eye on the demoness.

"You know, you're a lot nicer than the people I'm living with." Chey stated. "They're always kicking me out of my seat and making me stand. Here, I have a specially made chair!"

Ibiki sighed.

"The Akatsuki?" He asked. Chey shrugged.

"I guess. Me, Asura, and Ayami just call them….well we don't call them anything really."

Another sigh.

"So Gai-sensei and Shika-sensei are still in town?" Chey asked, after a moment of silence.

"They never left." Ibiki replied, patiently waiting for the others to come.

"Good talk." Chey commented, when nothing more was said. Ibiki merely ignored her.

"You nearly killed me!" A voice yelled, outside the door, less than a moment later. Chey grinned recognizing the voice immediately. "I thought you were a pedophile! Or worse, a ghost!"

"You're a troublesome girl." Shika grumbled, opening the door to Ibiki's office. "I don't know how I survived, training the three of you."

"I don't know how you got married." Ayami retorted. "Who wants to be called troublesome all the time?"

"SHIKA-SENSEI!" Chey cheered when her old sensei came into sight. Shika sweat-dropped at the girl's enthusiasm. Only his three students would be this happy to see him, after he had been put in charge of capturing them, and after getting sufficient information, probably killing them.

"You do realize that once Ibiki gets what he wants, we need to kill you right?" He asked calmly. Ayami and Chey shrugged.

"Then we won't give you what you want then. After all, if everybody gets what they want all the time, then they just turn into spoiled brats." Ayami pointed out. Chey nodded.

"By the way, what do you want?" She asked, slightly confused.

"Information." Ibiki replied blandly. Chey and Ayami giggled.

"You think we have information? Why? No one tells us anything." Ayami responded once her giggles were under control.

"How could the power of youth go so wrong?"

"GAI-SENSEI!!!" Chey waved at the man, who was tugging Asura behind him.

"I said I was sorry!" Asura cried. "Geez! You think you could be a little nicer to someone you haven't seen in years."

"Where did we go wrong Shika? They were so innocent, so pure and full of power! Now look at them!"

"Why does everyone keep calling us failures?" Ayami grumbled, finally sitting down in an empty chair. Asura yanked herself out of Gai's grasp and sat down besides her sisters.

"So what have you girls been doing since you left Konoha?" Ibiki asked, ignoring Gai's yells about the lost power of youth. The three shrugged.

"Cooking, getting stuck in trees, getting cool nicknames, the usual." Asura replied, smiling at the man. Ibiki sighed.

"Who gave you the cool nicknames."

"Everyone!" Ayami announced cheerfully. "Even Herbert and Bob gave us nicknames!"

"And who are Herbert and Bob?"

Chey groaned and made her ears twitch.

"Herbert and Bob say hi." She informed the room. The three men sweat-dropped.

"Okay, where have you been cooking?" Ibiki tried again.

"Who would let them cook?" Shika grumbled. "Cooking is so troublesome."

"In a kitchen, duh…" Asura pointed out. "And Leader lets us cook!"

"What's Leader's actual name?" Ibiki was hopeful that they were finally getting somewhere.

"…"

"…"

"…"

"You don't remember, do you?" Shika sighed.

"Nope!" The three girls replied in unison.

**With the rest of the Akatsuki**

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU LOST THEM!!!!!" Pein was obviously pissed when his members informed them of their situation.

"They were asleep!" Hidan protested. "When they sleep, the only thing that gets them up is a good kick in the butt. We didn't think they would disappear!"

"And so you just decided that it would be okay to sleep as well?" Pein asked in a deadly chilly voice. Reluctantly, the group of members nodded.

"YOU IDIOTS!!!!"

"So what should we do, yeah?" Deidara asked.

"Forget about your missions and go find them!" Pein ordered. He had no idea why he was so frantic that the members find the girls. He just knew that he wanted the three of them safe. It was clear that after the three girls had been found and brought back to the base, they wouldn't be going anywhere for a long time.

One by one, the forms of his members began to disappear.

"I don't get why it's so important." Kisame grumbled. "I mean without them, things could go back to the way they used to be."

"Boring?" Itachi asked, not really caring about the answer.

"YES!"

**Back with the girls**

"How exactly did this happen?" Hokage Sarutobi asked as he watched the three girls cooking in the kitchen. He had no idea what exactly they were making, only that Asura had called them "her special coconut brownies".

"I have no idea." Ibiki stared at the girls slightly stunned. One moment he had been trying to get answers from them without the use of torture, and the next, he was watching them make brownies, with no answers to give.

"Did you get anything out of them?" Sarutobi prodded.

"Nothing, except that Chey has named her ears Herbert and Bob." Ibiki knew that the three sisters weren't exactly bright when it came to common sense, but they were the first people that he had gotten no answers from. Who knew that those girls could talk circles around even the best of interrogators?

Sarutobi had no reply, and it was just as well because a few seconds later came what could be a deadly announcement.

"The brownies are done!"

"Everybody gets to try some!" Asura decided and began to distribute the brownies to the watching shinobi. It seemed that most of the shinobi off duty had heard that the troublesome trio, as Shika had dubbed them, was back in town under guard.

Most of the shinobi were reluctant to try the brownies, but it turns out that not even they were cold-hearted enough to resist three sets of perfect, innocent puppy-dog eyes.

"These are really good!" Gai cried. "The innocence of youth has returned!" The surrounding nin nodded their heads in agreement.

"Didn't you say these had coconut in them?" Kakashi asked, curious. He couldn't taste coconut at all, but there was something else that tasted slightly familiar.

"Yep! It's a special kind of coconut. It's brown and it makes you really relaxed and happy!" Ayami grinned happily. "You'll see in a couple of minutes." The shinobi paled as they made certain deductions and finally understood what made the brownies "special".

**A ½ hour later**

"The sun is so pretty." Sarutobi drawled. "It just lights everything up, don't you think?"

"Yeah…"

"I don't believe it!"Asura huffed, crossing her arms. "We made all those brownies and for what? We didn't even get any."

"Ummm…"Ayami stared at the sun's position. "I think we should get out of here. By now, everyone will have noticed we're gone and come looking. I don't know about you, but I really don't want to deal with some pissed off S-ranked criminals."

"Agreed." Chey looked around anxiously, expecting for the Akatsuki members to pop out of nowhere.

"But I want brownies!" Asura cried.

"We'll make some more at the base." Ayami assured her sister. "We'll even through a surprise party for when everyone else gets back."

"COOL!!!"

"Pa…rt…y?" Chey hesitated. "On second thought, I'd rather stay here."

Ayami rolled her eyes.

"You can make buckeyes with that special powdered sugar you like so much." She bribed.

"Then what are we waiting for?" Chey demanded. "Let's get out of here!"

The three sisters starting calmly stepping over the bodies of the stoned Konoha shinobi, making their way to the closest entrance. They were almost out of Konoha when Chey suddenly halted.

"I almost forgot!" She cried, staring at a nearby shop. She darted into it, with Asura and Ayami watching in confusion.

"What exactly did she forget?" Ayami asked.

"No idea."

When Chey came back out, her two sisters were surprised to see her placing a squirming pig in a pack on her back.

"Um…Chey?" Asura was extremely confused. "Why did you get a pig?"

"I can't fail my mission!" Chey announced. "Leader said we had to bring back a Ino-pig so here's a pig named Ino!"

"Wow…just wow…" was all either girl said. Chey added one last comment,

"There has got to be an easier way to get bacon…"

"Oink?"

**A few hours later**

"This is definitely their doing." Kakuzu announced as the six Akatsuki members stared at the stoned nin.

"They've been…cooking?" Sasori was surprised at these effects of the girls' cooking. He had never seen anything like it.

"I think we got lucky, yeah. They never did this to us, yeah."

"So where did they go?" Hidan demanded irritated.

Itachi raised an eyebrow and tore a small piece of paper off of a nearby pole.

"Hi guys. Don't bother staying here. Everyone will be boring for a while. Just go on home and we'll see you soon. Dumber, Dummie, and Dumbest." He read aloud. "What a waste of time."

"I highly doubt they can find their way back to the base without our help. These are the girls that get lost on their way down the hall." Kisame reminded the group.

"They'll find their way back eventually. Let's just get back to the base so we can wait and make sure the base isn't destroyed, if by any chance they get there before we do."

**The next day**

"Well, they obviously haven't got back yet." Pein murmured, looking at the still standing base, then glancing back to glare at his members. There was no movement from the inside, a good sign for everyone. "If they aren't back in a week though, I want you to find them. There's no telling what they'll say if questioned."

All the members grimaced at the thought. They glanced at the closed door, relieved. At least they would get a week of peace out of this.

Pein opened the door and everyone sweat-dropped at all the decorations in the living area.

"SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!"

"Oink?"


	6. Stoned

The Akatsuki stared at the pig sitting at Chey's feet.

"Why the hell is there a pig here?" Pein demanded. He wasn't sure he wanted to know how a pig had gotten involved in this whole mess.

"Her name's Ino!" Chey chirped. "You told me that my mission was to bring back an Ino-pig, so that's what I did.

The original nine members of the Akatsuki sweat-dropped. Tobi, on the other hand, had grabbed a hold of "Ino" and was swinging her happily around.

"I always wanted a pet! A good pet for a good boy!"

Everyone twitched and Pein began rubbing his temples, trying to find a way to avoid yet another migraine.

"The mission was to bring back Ino, a kunoichi from Konoha with the ability to control the mind somewhat." He corrected the girl. "I have no idea where you got the pig part from that."

Chey laughed nervously.

"I was wondering why you wanted bacon from Konoha…" She rubbed the back of her neck awkwardly, blushing slightly.

"Oink?"

Pein grimaced before snatching the pig out of Tobi's grasp. He flung open the front door and tossed the little pink animal out of the base, head first. Once it hit the ground, the pig took off running, determined to get as far away from the three crazy girls and their ideas about making her into bacon. She wasn't a pig that was meant to be eaten after all!

"Wow, yeah." Deidara muttered watching the pig run away. At that moment in time, every Akatsuki member wanted to be that little pig. A strangled sob drew their attention back to the three girls.

"I can't believe you!" Ayami cried, hugging Tobi close to her. "You hurt Tobi's feelings!"

"Yeah!" Asura chimed in. "Tobi is a good boy and he only wanted a pet! It's one thing if you hurt our feelings, but now you've hurt Tobi's. You've crossed a line pal!"

"It's just a pig." Kisame declared incredulous. The three girls glared at him. "What? It would've been eaten anyways."

"WHAT!!!!" The sisters cried in unison.

"Didn't Dumber just say that's what she thought we were going to do when she first started talking?" Sasori asked.

"It was a joke!" Chey protested. "I didn't think you would be serious about it."

"And we didn't think that you would make it back to the base before us." Hidan pointed out.

"But we had a head start." Ayami looked slightly confused. "How could we not make it back before you?"

"Because last week, Dumber and Dumbest got lost going down the hallway." Itachi spoke up. The two girls in question blushed.

"We were trying to find the bathroom." Asura mumbled.

"And it is a new base." Chey added.

"We wouldn't have needed a new base if you hadn't blown up the last one." Pein bit out. Konan gaped at him.

"They blew up the last base?" She asked incredulous. "How?"

"Cooking." All the male members of the Akatsuki said together, glaring at Asura and Chey who smiled innocently in return.

"They blew up Hidan as well." Kakuzu rolled his eyes.

"That was just the cherry on top!" Asura giggled. "That was a good day, except for the whole yelling thing."

Chey looked curiously at Pein.

"Have you ever thought about anger management classes?" She asked her leader, who was wearing a pissed off expression on his face at the current time.

"Have you ever considered a mental asylum?" Kisame retorted.

"Yep!" Ayami chirped. "But they kicked us out."

Everyone twitched. Could there honestly be a thing as too crazy for the crazy bin?

"Yeah. Apparently you aren't allowed to set the building on fire…" Asura looked side-long at Chey, who hung her head guiltily.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "But at least we got to go home!"

"Where Grandma promptly kicked us out yet again." Ayami added to the story. "She said that we weren't allowed to come back until we passed the Chuunin exams."

"How exactly did we pass again?" Chey wondered aloud.

"Silly cat! We cheated remember!" Ayami and Asura adopted slightly evil grins.

"How can you cheat on the Chuunin exams, yeah?" Deidara inquired.

"We're not telling, yeah!" The three chorused. Deidara's eyes narrowed.

"Speaking of cooking…they should be almost done by now."Asura began slyly.

"Brownies!" Chey and Ayami cheered.

"Not just any brownies, they're my special brownies." Asura grinned as she heard the timer from the oven go off. The three girls skipped into the kitchen.

"Oh, this is going to be bad." Pein mumbled, placing a hand over his eyes. His members merely nodded in agreement and waited for the normal, oncoming explosion.

After a couple of moments, when no explosion came, Kisame poked his head into the kitchen. He sighed in relief when he saw Ayami scarfing down the last brownie.

"It's safe." He called to the other members.

"You guys." Asura began looking through her pockets. "That was the last of the special coconut."

Ayami and Chey pouted.

"It's going to be months now, before we get any more. All the people we usually get it from are either dead or in prison…"

Nothing more was said as the three of them began to get glazed looks in their eyes. The three girls began giggling like crazy, for no obvious reason. Kisame watched in amazement as a moment later they stood in unison and made their ways back into the living room, only to sit in front of the television where Tobi was currently watching SpongeBob.

_3 hours later_

"Do you think they're okay?" Sasori questioned. The girl's had been watching SpongeBob for some time now, and they hadn't even laughed once when normally they would've been laughing in the first three seconds. Tobi, on the other hand, had passed out a couple minutes ago from laughing too hard.

"Who cares? I like them better this way." Hidan laughed harshly, blood dripping onto the couch from his shoulder, still bleeding from a recent ritual. Asura hadn't even started a fight or tried to kick him out once yet. She also hadn't tried to kill, maim, injure, or prank him. All in all, it was quite an unusual peaceful occurrence.

Ayami glanced at him, and then at Sasori, an indifferent expression on her face, before going back to the TV.

Kisame fidgeted nervously, sharing concerned looks with Deidara, Kakuzu and surprisingly, Itachi and Zetsu. The five of them may hate the girls and their utter stupidity but it was better than this…nothing. Asura, Ayami, and Chey were beginning to act a mini Itachi and it was kinda scary.

"I really want to know what was in those brownies now." Hidan continued. "Then they could be this way all the time."

"This device is really interesting." Asura was examining the carpet with care. "What is its name?"

"Carpet." Zetsu growled.

"It feels like grass, flying through the air, and softly landing in a burning fire."

"Ayami." Chey spoke up for the first time since they had re-entered the living room. "The walls are spinning and turning into rainbows."

This commented earned the emotionless demon some curious looks. Ayami adopted a concentrated look.

"Those aren't rainbows." She announced. "They're dancing penguins."

"Nuh-uh." Asura decided. "Those are the lights of all the brain activity in this room."

"If I had a penguin, I'd name it George." Ayami continued.

"Rainbows are such fun slides." Chey ignored her two friends.

"Who knew that there was so much thinking going on right now."

"I'm out of here." Kakuzu declared, standing up. "Unless Sasori can find a cure for this."

Sasori sighed and leaned closer to the girls, taking a small whiff of the air around him. He started chuckling.

"No such thing. These girls are stoned, pure and simple." He announced. Everyone in the room just blinked. That was it? They were only…high?

Relieved, everyone else followed Kisame out the door, dragging a still unconscious Tobi along. The door shut firmly.

The sound of the closing door seemed to awake the girls from their stupor, as their eyes began to clear. Their faces split into evil grins as they realized that they were alone for the first time in the base.

"Party!" They sang quietly, before sneaking up the stairs to where all the quarters of the members were placed.


	7. Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Halloween?

Okay well now I'm hoping I'll actually do a major update streak but I'm not promising anything besides this one.

* * *

"Hey guys! Guess what day is coming up soon!" Ayami called down the hall. Currently, she, Asura, and Chey were snooping through the other members' rooms. Originally they had been looking for blackmail but now they were just waiting for someone to find them.

"Thanksgiving?" Asura asked hopefully and Chey gave a small shudder.

"Asura please make sure you don't poison me this year." She whimpered.

"It wasn't poison! I just forgot you were allergic to cranberries." Asura protested.

"How could you forget that?" Chey demanded. "Even Ayami knew that!"

Ayami blushed.

"Actually I thought it was oranges you were allergic to." She mumbled. Chey gave her a horrified look.

"That's me!" Asura cried. "And you're allergic to pineapple!"

A sigh drew the three girls' attention to the doorway.

"Dumbie is allergic to dragonfruit, Dumber to cranberries, and you to pineapple. Pein is allergic to oranges and Hidan to turkey." Itachi corrected boredly.

"And there is not going to be a Thanksgiving." Kisame warned. He was easily ignored.

"Actually it's before Thanksgiving. It's tomorrow actually." Ayami remembered her first question.

"Christmas?" Chey asked hopefully. "I want presents."

"That's after Dumber." Sasori shook his head at the utter stupidity of the girl.

"Thank God!" Asura sighed. "I really hate the family reunions that come with it." Ayami nodded her agreement. Chey adopted a dark look.

"Well at least you were adopted." She growled.

"Weren't you adopted as well?" Pein questioned. "I couldn't find any trace of demon lineage in your family."

Chey looked horrified and relieved.

"I'm adopted? YES!" She cheered. "That means we don't have to leave for Christmas."

All of the original members gave Pein a dirty look.

"Actually it was Halloween." Ayami corrected.

"Trick-or-treating!" Asura cried estatically.

"Horror movie marathon!" Chey began jumping up and down. "I really hope the ones this year are scary."

"You know what this means right?" Ayami gained an evil grin.

"Costumes!" The three girls chorused in unison. Immediately, the Akatsuki members began backing away as three evil looks were aimed their way.

* * *

Sorry its so short but there should be more coming soon!


	8. Halloween Part One

"I can't believe this is happening." A voice said, breaking the dead silence. There was no response, only some glares shot the speaker's way.

"I can't believe this is happening." The phrase was repeated a minute later. A kunai was recklessly tossed and barely missed Konan who was speaking.

"Oh shut up!" Kisame spat, rubbing his arms. The paint covering his body was extremely itchy and was making his skin dry.

"They're sure taking a long time, yeah." Deidara commented, looking warily at the stairs. All of the Akatsuki, except for Hidan were currently tied up in chakra absorbing chains, unable to prevent the torture that was being inflicted upon them by three crazy girls. Hidan was currently undergoing that torture as they sat there, if the screams had anything to go by.

"Has anyone watched this movie they are going by?" Pein asked cautiously, trying to get some idea of what Hidan would come down looking like. He also had no idea what his costume was going to be, but he suspected it was something bad since three of his forms had been tied up. After Hidan it would only be him and Deidara left. So far, only Itachi had gotten off fairly light and that was due to the girls being afraid of his Sharingan. He was wearing his Akatsuki cloak and a pointy hat.

Sasori was dressed to look like a little kid, something he managed fairly well with his young looks. He was also holding a lollipop that was singing some annoying song about dead witches.

Kakuzu was itching like crazy. He had hay stuffed anywhere possible. To prevent the hay from falling out, the three crazies had glued it to him. Ayami had also forced him to wear some plaid clothing articles that Kakuzu absolutely despised. He had vowed to burn the costume and sell the ashes.

Konan and Kisame had undergone similar tortures. Konan had her skin spray painted green while Kisame was painted silver. However, Konan had her hair dyed black as well. She was pissed. The black dress she was wearing perfectly suited her mood. She was also wearing a hat similar to Itachi's. Kisame was grumbling about his sword being taken away. If he couldn't have his sword, he at least wanted that ax those dratted girls debated about giving him.

Tobi and Zetsu didn't have to deal with any paint or crap being glued to them. They had both gone with their costumes willingly, Zetsu being well aware it could be much worse. Slightly irritated, he blew the fake mane out of his eyes. Tobi was just excited to learn about the holiday of Halloween.

"Arf arf!" He barked happily, the only one not in chains.

Asura skipped down the stairs, grinning widely.

"Your turn!" She declared pointing to Pein. Everyone looked wary at the sight of her alone. Usually it took all three girls to drag them up there. They couldn't have actually managed to kill Hidan could they?

Still remaining in their chains, all three Peins were literally dragged up the stairs. Thankfully his members knew better to look and witness the scene. They all found some other place to be looking.

Only a few minutes later, the Peins came walking down the stairs, all dressed in brown clothing with wings and tails attached.

"Are you some sort of monkey?" Kisame dared to ask. His only response was a glare that basically told him that if he didn't shut up, he would live to regret it.

Chey followed the Peins down the stairs. She crossed her arms and glared at Deidara.

"Since Hidan's being a major pain, you're going to come quietly. Got that?" She demanded, looking very annoyed. "And you're not allowed to whine either. What we've decided goes!"

Deidara glared right back.

"Wanna bet, yeah?" He challenged. His eyes widened as Chey pulled out a frying pan.

"How did you get in the kitchen?" Konan yelled. "I frankly remember you being banned."

Chey gave the blue, now black, haired woman a confused look.

"It's a frying pan, the ultimate girl weapon." She claimed. "Every good woman carries one with her at all times."

The Akatsuki sweatdropped. Chey was in no place to be giving womanly lessons.

Deidara had no time to say anything before the frying pan hit him over the head. When he awoke he was tied back up, this time in a big, puffy, glittering, pink dress. His bangs fell into his eyes and he noticed with a growing horror that it was curled.

"Oh no." He whispered, too horrified to put his usual yeah at the end. Snickers came from all over the room.

"So Deidara, have you just been pretending to be a guy the entire time?" Kisame asked, full out guffawing.

"Pink's a good color for you." Kakuzu jumped in as well.

Deidara glared at his fellow members, blushing hard. There was nothing more than he wanted to just die. At least he wasn't wearing make-up.

"You really should wear that eye shadow and lipstick combo much more." Konan threw in. Deidara gulped and tried his hardest not to cry. He was going to kill as soon as he was released from these stupid chains.

Cheers were heard from upstairs.

"We did it! We did it!" Ayami appeared at the top of the stairs. Her skin was blue and she had gills drawn on her face, as well as a foam replica of Kisame's sword. Kisame blinked.

"She's dressed as me?" He asked in shock.

Asura appeared soon after Ayami, hair died black and red contacts in her eyes. Itachi decided not to comment that she had forgotten the tomoes. Asura was holding a set of chains. Everyone knew who was going to come next. No one was going to admit it, but they wanted to see what Hidan was forced to dress up as. Judging by the time it took, he either had put up a good fight or the costume was really complex.

Asura pulled on the chains.

"Come on!" She whined, yanking even harder. "It's not that bad. Honestly Deidara has it a lot worse."

"I don't fucking give a damn!" Hidan yelled. "I'm not going out in public looking like this!" Using all his strength, Hidan pulled backwards, turning and grabbing the thing closest to him, which just so happened to be Chey's tail. Furious with the entire situation, he gave it a good pull.

Chey let out a yelp and turned to look at Hidan, eyes dangerously cold. Ayami and Asura gulped.

"He pulled Jean Paul." Ayami whispered. Asura gave a tiny nod.

"He pulled Jean Paul." Ayami restated, gulping again.

"Everyone duck!" Asura screamed as she dropped the chains and started running. Ayami was close on her tail. Hidan flew down the stairs after them, flying far enough to crash into the farthest wall.

"Two rules buddy! Never touch the ears, never touch the hair, and never grab the tail!" She yelled, chakra pooling in her hands.

"That's three rules." Kisame pointed out. A frying pan flew at his head and, unable to duck, Kisame took the full blow. Everyone winced and all was deathly silent.

"Well at least I'm not the only girl, yeah." Deidara commented, eyeing Hidan's Dorothy costume. He was kind of jealous of those shoes…


	9. Halloween: Part Two

"I hate my life," Kisame grumbled.

Konan gave him a dull look.

"Kisame, I think we all hate our lives," she snapped and then turned her glare onto Pein.

"This is all your fault," she hissed at him.

"You can't just let power like theirs run amok," Pein attempted to explain.

"So you had to screw us over in the process?" Konan growled.

All the Akatsuki members cringed as the three knocked on another door.

"Trick or treat!" Asura, Ayami, and Chey chimed as the door was opened. The man on the other side gave them a strange look. Well, they had to admit, their group did look strange compared to all the other small children running around dressed in costume.

"Absolutely not," the man said and closed the door on them. Chey pouted, Ayami's lip quivered and Asura whimpered.

"That's every house so far," Asura sniffled. "We just want some candy."

"You can just buy candy, yeah," Deidara pointed out.

"But on Halloween they give it out for free!" Ayami whined.

"Yeah, and no one lets us buy candy!" Chey pouted.

"You don't need anymore sugar," Hidan grumbled.

"Arf arf!" Toby barked.

"On to the next house!" Chey ordered, pointing to the next house they were heading to.

"Oh joy," Kakuzu mumbled under his breath.

Asura bounced up to the door and knocked.

"Trick or treat!" she chirped as a woman opened the door. The woman, upon seeing the group, slammed the door in her face. This time, Asura actually began crying.

"Why does no one want to give us candy?" she wailed. "I just want candy!"

Her wails continued on for a few long minutes until even Chey and Ayami had their ears covered. Granted, Chey was among the first to cover her ears because they were so sensitive.

"Oh my god! Make her stop!" Kisame begged. Hidan growled and approached the door. He shoved Asura out of the way and, with one strong kick, broke the door down.

"What did you do that for?" Asura snapped as she got to her feet and brushed herself off. Hidan ignored her and the woman inside the house who was protesting his entrance. He grabbed the bowl of candy he saw sitting next to the door and shoved it in the terrible trio's direction.

"This is all you're getting," he told them. "Now put it in your pillow cases so we can go home already!"

"But you touched it," Asura whined, crinkling her nose in disgust. "Ew!"

"Candy!" Ayami cried, grabbing the bowl and running off in a random direction. "We got candy!"

"Oi!" Chey cried, running after Ayami. "Get back here! I want some!"

"Guys! Wait for me!" Asura shouted, following the other two.

"Arf arf!" Toby barked and tailed them.

"That was probably a really bad idea, wasn't it?" Hidan asked, watching them run away, plowing through a bunch of kids as they did so.

"Probably, yeah," Deidara agreed. "But we get to head back to base once we catch them, yeah."

The Akatsuki members sighed. At one time or another, all of them had been commissioned with catching the three girls. It was easier said than done. They cringed as they heard an ear-piercing shriek. That was definitely Chey and she did not sound happy.

"What happened?" Pein asked as they finally caught up. Chey was on the ground, clutching her shin.

"That little brat just kicked me and stole my candy!" Chey whined, pointing at a random kid who was examining his newest stash.

"Candy is for kids," he replied. "You're an adult."

"No, I'm not!" Chey cried. "I'm a big kid!"

"Toby is a good boy!"

Asura gave Toby a look.

"Now Toby, what did we tell you?" she asked him.

"Arf arf?" Toby replied. Asura grinned widely.

"Good boy!" she praised him.

"You two should give me your candy as well," the little boy weaseled. Ayami's eyes widened and she hugged her bowl of candy tightly to her chest.

"No!" she protested. "You need to give Chey-chan's candy back!"

"Do not!" the boy argued.

"Do too!" Asura joined in the argument.

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

Kisame growled obscenities under his breath and stomped over to the boy. He yanked the boy's candy out of his hands.

"Scram kid!" he barked, towering over the small child. The kid cowered under Kisame's dark look and ran away screaming. Kisame returned to the group, feeling pleased with himself. He was still scary. The terrible three hadn't caused him to lose his touch.

"Here," he said gruffly, handing the bag of candy over to Chey. Her eyes welled with tears. Kisame was expecting a big thank you for having dealt with this all night.

"Kisame…" Chey began.

The group waited to see if Chey would actually thank him. Asura and Ayami were especially interested because it was a rarity that Chey would thank anyone other than them.

"HOW COULD YOU? YOU JUST STOLE CANDY FROM A LITTLE KID!" Chey screamed.

"Yeah! You big meanie!" Ayami stomped over and kicked Kisame's chin.

"It takes a real type of cruel to steal candy from a kid," Asura huffed. "I knew you were cruel but I didn't think you were that cruel!"

Kisame stared at the three in disbelief.

"There's no way to possibly win," he sighed as the three stomped away.

"Of course not," Sasori grumbled. "Once you get used to them and think you know what to expect from them, they go in the opposite direction."

Konan gave Pein a piercing look.

"Is that why you picked them?" she asked. Pein shrugged.

"Let's go," he ordered. "We've played around enough. Itachi, grab Dumbest. Sasori, grab Dumbie. Hidan, grab Dumber. Deidara, grab Toby."

"Why can't Kisame grab Dumber?" Hidan protested. Pein glared at him.

"Because I said so," he snapped. "We'll meet you at the base."

"Let's see what kind of crazy they can come up with before then," Kakuzu mumbled under his breath. "And let's see if it blows Hidan up again."

Hidan glared at his partner but said nothing before he stomped away.

The walk back to the base was peaceful for the members that hadn't been assigned catching and baby-sitting detail. Most of them had forgotten what silence sounded like.

However, that silence was short-lived as, not even an hour after they arrived home, Asura, Ayami, and Chey bounded through the door.

"Guys! Guys! Guess what!" Asura cried as the door slammed open.

"We're having a horror movie marathon!" Ayami and Chey cheered in unison.


End file.

Naruto, Humor