Harry Potter 1. Issue 1

Disclaimer: We don't own HP. Please don't sue us! JKR is the copyright holder.

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This story is based on a "Dear Abby"- type column, written by Ginny Weasley for the Hogsmeade Herald, a newspaper that is also available at Hogwarts. Yes, this is a R+H and G+H fic and is Ginny's way of telling her brother off for his WOW column. If you like this check our WWW.WOW story. 

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_**GAG.**_

_**Gossiping Gabby's Gabbin About Guys: **Issue #1 _

Welcome readers to my first of what I hope will be many _helpful _articles about relationships. In response to my self absorbed, misogynistic counterpart, I will write real helpful advice.

"Dear Gabby: Why is it that some guys just can't take a hint? Signed, Curvaceous Cuddler."

Dear Cuddling Cutie: Men are not as smart as they like to believe they are. Sometimes it takes the subtlety of a bludger to the head to make them see the light of day. If you like the guy, just go up and kiss him and see what he does! 

"Dear Gabby: My boyfriend broke up with me so he could date another girl who is older than me. I miss him but I am mad at him. What should I do? Signed, Heartbroken Honey."

Dear Heavenly Hearted: The best revenge is to get another boyfriend and forget about the first. I hear green eyed boys are very loyal and sensitive to their partner's needs.

That's all the advice for this week, but I am going to have at the end of each week's column, a list of Most Eligible Bachelors. Here is this week's list:

#1 Oliver "Keeper of My Heart" Wood

#2 Justin "Feather Touch" Finch-Fletchley

#3 Ronald "WOW I Can't Believe I Made This List" Weasley

Try to make this list guys, but "Don't Get Eliminated!" from it.

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How was this?

Please read and Review.

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	2. Issue 2

Disclaimer: We don't own HP. Please don't sue us! JKR. is the copyright holder. Any references to Most Extreme Elimination Challenge is purely on purpose, please don't sue us Vic and Kenny!

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This story is based on a "Dear Abby"- type column, written by Ginny Weasley for the Hogsmeade Herald, a newspaper that is also available at Hogwarts. Yes, this is a R+H and G+H fic and is Ginny's way of telling her brother off for his WOW column. If you like this check our WWW.WOW story. 

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_**GAG.**_

_**Gossiping Gabby's Gabbin About Guys: **Issue #2_

Wel,l since my esteemed colleague cannot even spell misogynistic, it comes as no surprise that I offended him. Anyways, Let's Get Started!

"Dear Gabby: There's this guy who's an absolute prat. He's annoying, loud, rude, argumentative and lazy. But...I can't help it. I really really like him. I don't know what to do. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can go about getting the prat to notice that I even exist?"** {from Punkin}**

Dear Anonymous Amour: Well, let's just say that subtlety doesn't work with some guys. I think you will find that this "prat" is not as bad as he seems to be. If you constantly pester him and pay attention to him when he is lazy, and he likes your attention, he will keep being lazy just so you will talk to him. It's kind of like training a dog, only dogs catch on quicker. Ask him to go for private walks so you can tell him some of your fears and describe this guy you like to him without naming him. After several walks, it will probably dawn on him that you are talking about him, and if that doesn't work, try a bludger.

"Dear Gabby: Why do girls always seem to act so strangely around guys. I mean we hear them talking and when we walk by, they start to giggle. It can drive a bloke mad. The other thing is that if you liked a girl and you knew she didn't like you back cause she keeps nit picking at you, how should you go about the unpleasant business of telling her so she can make you a laughing stock of the whole school. Signed, Animal Magnetism."

Dear Musky Male: Just tell her about it, tell her everything you feel. [thanks B.J.] How can a girl possibly turn down someone who is obviously so _manly_ and _attractive_. Do you by chance have red hair? Only redheads feel so passionately about these things and are too blind to see what is in front of them.

"Dear Gabby: In his first article, WWW WOW reported this question and his response. I was wondering what is your take on the question? Signed, Huffy Hufflepuff. Here is the original question and answer:

["Dear WWW: Why are women so difficult to understand? Signed, The Roaring Lion.

Dear Pussy Cat: The human male was created so perfectly, so flawlessly, and so intelligently (in general), there was no mystery he could not solve. So, someone decided to give him one.]"

Dear Happy Huffy: Well, WOW almost got it right. He just didn't finish the answer. It should read: The human male was created so perfectly, so flawlessly, and so intelligently (in general), there was no mystery he could not solve. So, someone decided to give him one, and then he needed some help so females were created to solve it for him. We just didn't give him the answer.

"Dear Gabby: Why doesn't everyone think the Great Harry Potter is so great, Ma'am? Signed, Dobby."

Dear Dobby: Not everyone is as smart as a House Elf. Now you mention how great Harry is. He is so warm and intelligent, funny and charming. Not to mention his beautiful, emerald eyes and messy, black hair. Being the "Boy Who Lived" must have some distracting moments. I mean, he can't go anywhere without being recognized, and has the Dark Lord after him all the time. But I would imagine in private moments, he is very passionate and just as scared for us as we are for him all the time. He truly is VERY GREAT.

That's all for this week gang, hope you see me next week .

Gabby

Now, the moment you have all been waiting for:

New list of most eligible bachelors ladies. It has come to my attention that a certain "Keeper" is off the market. I wonder if her name will ring a _Bell _with anyone. It also seems that Justin has perched next to a curvaceous Ravenclaw. Here is this week's list:

#1 Ronald "WOW I Can't Believe I Made #1 On This List" Weasley

#2 Neville "I Wonder How?" _Long_bottom.

#3 Draco "I Can't Believe Weasley and Longbottom Beat Me!" Malfoy

Try to make this list guys, but "Don't Get Eliminated!" from it.

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How was this?

Please read and Review and submit questions if you like:

Many thanks to all our reviewers for the help and suggestions. It is hard to thank everyone but please consider yourself thanked just for reading and enjoying. 

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	3. Issue 3

Disclaimer: We don't own HP. Please don't sue us! JKR. is the copyright holder. Any references to Most Extreme Elimination Challenge is purely on purpose, please don't sue us Vic and Kenny!

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

This story is based on a "Dear Abby"- type column, written by Ginny Weasley for the Hogsmeade Herald, a newspaper that is also available at Hogwarts. Yes, this is a R+H and G+H fic and is Ginny's way of telling her brother off for his WOW column. If you like this check our WWW.WOW story. 

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_**GAG.**_

_**Gossiping Gabby's Gabbin About Guys: **Issue #3_

Well, I am off to the races with this week's installment.

"Dear Gabby: I was wondering if you know the identity of WWW. I mean, I think he sounds so hot and manly. I am just afraid I might not be enough of a woman for him. How should I go about asking him? Signed, Lonely and Hopeful."

Dear Frightfully Frustrated: Please consider what you are saying. You have fallen for an egotistical, misogynistic prat without brains enough to fill an egg cup. Oh dear, try a nice boy. I hear green eyed boys make the best romantics.

"Dear Gabby: I sorta have my eye on this guy, but everywhere I go all my friends insist on going with me. The problem here is that they always giggle like mad when they see him, and he runs away when he hears them. How do I tell my friends I want to be alone with him without sending them to the laughing academy? Signed, Galloping from Giggles."

Dear Giggling Goofy Gal. All girls giggle cause they are looking at boys. I mean, do we need another reason to break out in fits of laughter? Boys are so self involved that it merits a few fits of mirth here and there. Just ask the girls to let you have a few private moments with the boy in question. I am sure they will understand. If they persist in following you, jinx them.

"Dear Gabby: Do you think it's ok to like someone who is more than 3 years older than you? Signed, Smitten."

Dear Desirous Heart: In our younger years, girls should only date guys about their own age or maybe a year older. But if you are in your last couple of years at school, it's a bit more acceptable. If you really like him and he really likes you, I would suggest long walks and talk about it before proceeding to a broom closet. 

Now, the moment you have all been waiting for:

New list of most eligible bachelors. I have my sources that tell me Mr. Malfoy is already _arranged_ to do some gardening.

#1 Ronald "WOW I Can't Believe I Am Still #1 On This List" Weasley

#2 Neville "I Wonder How?" _Long_bottom.

#3 Seamus "Somebody Had To Bump Malfoy Of This List" Finnigan

Try to make this list guys, but "Don't Get Eliminated!" from it.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

How was this?

Please read and Review and submit questions if you like:

Many thanks to all our reviewers for the help and suggestions. It is hard to thank everyone but please consider yourself thanked just for reading and enjoying. 

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Harry Potter, Humor, Romance