Harry Potter 1. Attacks and Aggravations

Winter Term, 1968. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Gryffindor Dormitory (Male)  
  
"Listen, you bastard, I'm going to spend the rest of my life as a frog, and nobody can stop me."  
  
"Don't be a fool, Weasley. I know Violet turned you down for the Yule Ball, but you can't turn yourself into a frog, that's fourth year magic anyway," replied Billy Finnigan helpfully. "You could ask her to Transfigure you though, you know she's taking her Transfiguring O.W.L. a year early."  
  
The strains of the Tumbling Menhirs drifted up from the Common Room through the bolted dormitory door. Simon "Call me Si" Weatherfair sat by the window, attempting to roll a joint from the leaves he'd "borrowed" from Herbology. Billy sat back on his bed, converting obscene poetry into arcane numbers at the back of his Arithmancy notes. Dave Weasley simply sat and stared at the empty picture that had previously contained Violet's plump visage. He sighed a long sigh of wistful sighingness. His entire life was encapsulated in that sigh. It was a sigh to end sighs. Billy stood up, walked over to Weasley, and kicked him.  
  
"Ow. What the sod did you do that for?"  
  
"You're beginning to piss me off. Look, so you have trouble with love. I know your moustache won't grow and Vi despises your speckly, red face. Get over it. There are other fish in the sea. You're a lovely bloke, well, I say lovely bloke, I mean you resemble a scarlet beanpole, but that's not your fault, and you're hardly top of your class, and I see I'm not helping so I'll shut up now." Indeed, he did, as Weasley glared at him.  
  
"Incendio," said Si, and the joint lit up, crackling silver from the elf- dream leaves sprinkled liberally throughout the grass. He took in a breath, then exhaled out of the window.  
  
"Coward."  
  
Si looked up to see Weasley striding across the room.  
  
"Si, you're a disgrace to the bravery of Gryffindor, exhaling like that." He had a faint grin on his face, and plucked the joint from his friend's hand. He pulled in a drag, and gazed out of the window. "Ahhhh. I guess you're right, Billy, there are other fish in the sea."  
  
"But don't bother fishing for whales when you've only got a tiny fish-hook, sure?"  
  
There was a knock on the door, and Weasley looked down at the joint, quickly dropping it out of the window.  
  
"Git. That took me ages to get out of the Herbology stores. Bravery yourself."  
  
The knocks got louder, and they heard a muttered "Alohomora" as the door flung open. In the doorway stood Christina, Si's better half. She sniffed the air, smelt the faint whisps of elf-pot, looked disappointed, and beckoned Si across the room. He walked across with a sheepish grin on his face.  
  
"Yes, love of my life?"  
  
"We've got Divination now, my dear, so if your brain is perfectly. clear. then do come along."  
  
"But there's half an hour before. oh." He finished the sentence off by flashing Christina a wicked grin. Wrapping an arm round her waist, they descended into the Common Room, leaving Weasley and Billy alone.  
  
"Sod this. Care for some Quidditch practise?" asked Billy. Both Billy and Weasley were Chasers for the Gryffindor team, though Billy was more interested in his studies. Quickly pulling their broomsticks from beneath their beds, Billy checked that nobody was watching and climbed out of the window onto his broom. Weasley followed, and the two darted down to the grounds. Officially, launching from a top floor window was against the school rules, but it was common enough practise to be hardly worth picking up on.  
  
When they reached the ground, they sauntered round to the Sports Store, took out a practise Quaffle, then launched again towards the practise pitches on the edge of the forest. They tossed the Quaffle around for a bit, joining up with a few Slytherins to get some more competitive practise in. The Slytherins weren't all that bad really, perhaps a little vicious on the field, and a little too competitive, but all the old Dark Wizards. well, that was well into the past.  
  
Back to the game, then, and that was when Weasley saw it. There, galloping at full speed from the edge of the Forbidden Forest, was a centaur. A centaur who seemed determined on reaching the safety of Hogwarts, and this hardly surprised Weasley when he saw who was chasing. Goblins. And they did not look happy. At all.  
  
"HOI!" he shouted, and swooped down, Billy in close pursuit. Folbius Crabbe and Dedalus Diggle, the Slytherins, followed. As they sped down to the ground, the shouts of the Goblins became apparent -- calls of rebellion, calls of "Death to Wizards" and "End to Oppression!" Reacting to the threat, Billy and Dedalus whipped out their wands and with a shout of EXPELLIARMUS!, whipped the swords and staffs from the hands of the lead goblins. Crabbe sent a red flare high up into the air, whilst Weasley span his broom in the direction of the dormitory window.  
  
Back on the field, fast use of Stumbling Charms and Binding Spells was thinning out the small horde of goblins hurtling towards them. The centaur was panting raggedly, and his eyes were rolling white with the strain. The gates of Hogwarts were getting no closer, as far as Si could tell. Up in the dormitory, Weasley dismounted and ran down into the Common Room, shouting alarmingly as he charged out through the portrait, trying to find a teacher.  
  
"Ten points from Gryf'nduh, Weasley. Nae runnin' in."  
  
"Mr Pringle, sir, there are. phew. goblins. hhh... on the lawn. You got to believe. sss. chasing a centaur.."  
  
"Weel, Ah fahnd that hard teh believe."  
  
"S'true, sir, look, out of the window, see them now?"  
  
"Well, it seems ye're reet, Weasley, Ah'll enform t' staff at once. One moment," he coughed, drew his wand, and whispered a charm. "Headmaster, Professors, we hev a situation on t'sooth lawn. Ah reecommeend yeh all get doon there at t' double. Lek's lahk a herd o' wee goblins are tekkin' a trip across the grounds. Ah'll keep yeh informed." He muttered the charm again, then shouted to Weasley, who had began to run back to the Gryffindor tower, "Stop, yeh fool, leave it t' the teachers!" Weasley barely listened, darting back through the portrait hole once more, heading for his broom.  
  
By this time, the centaur was limping, and the goblins near the back had recovered and were swiftly catching up. The students continued with the rear-guard, but their energy was flagging. Dedalus looked forward, and was heartened by the sight of much of the teaching staff sallying out through the gate, wands in hand and letting off Stupefying spells. Professor Plank, the Magical Creatures teacher, had darted forwards to help the centaur in.  
  
"FINNIGAN! DIGGLE! CRABBE! WEASLEY! RETURN IMMEDIATELY!" shouted Professor Plank, as the goblins, realising their prey had escaped them, fled to the Forbidden Forest once more. The three flyers rocketed upwards to the skies, then slowly descended to the assembled group of teachers. A large crowd of students had gathered now, whilst Plank and Madam Pomfrey led the centaur, who the Divinations teacher had recognised as being called Bane, off to the stables to recover.  
  
"Back to your classes, please, people," called Dippet, "And you four boys. to my office, please, we shall need to discuss what has happened. I must find out from Bane what exactly provoked the goblins first, so please wait in the corridor, next to the gargoyle.."  
  
"Yes, headmaster," they answered, and set off.  
  
"So, you reckon there was a reason for that?"  
  
"I dunno, goblins are pretty intelligent, I mean they wouldn't normally hunt centaurs, and centaurs are too busy watching the moon to go around annoying goblins."  
  
"Maybe he just stumbled on one of their settlements, they're pretty territorial when they're living in the wild," suggested Diggle, "Perhaps he stargazed right into their backyard."  
  
"What, like Si stargazes at Christina during Astronomy? Besides, the goblin settlements in the Forest are too far away to have them chase this far. They'd chase the centaur until they were sure he had gone, then turn round and head back to their pad."  
  
"You know an awful lot about goblins, Weasley, you know that?"  
  
"Ah, but Crabbe, one must know the enemy before raiding Gringotts."  
  
At that point, Dippet strode up the stairs. They stepped out of the way as he muttered a password into the ear of the gargoyle, which swung open to reveal a flight of stairs. Dippet creaked up the stairs on his walking stick, his bald head shining brightly in the flicker of the torches. The four students followed him. Entering the circular study, the headmaster whisked four chairs out of mid-air, and gestured for them to sit down.  
  
"Now, boys, I want to commend you for your actions, which, I must warn you, were nevertheless rather irresponsible, hmm? Now, let me see, rewards first, eh? Twenty-five points each, shall we say, so that is," and he waved his wand, "Fifty points to Slytherin, and fifty to Gryffindor. Particularly good use of Stupefying spells, Crabbe, I was most impressed. To business, then. Bane tells me that there have been omens in the face of Mars and of Pluto, which is all well and good, and he further explained, to the mere, ahem, layman that I am in that field, that there have been calls of oppression by the wizarding community against goblins, and I'm sure Professor Binns has informed you all of the last time that happened, hmm, rebellions, riots and whatnot. Most unfortunate, very much so. There have been mutterings in Gringotts as well, and Bane, eh, well, Bane told me that the werewolves were driven out of their hunting grounds a few weeks ago by goblins, they were searching for something. Now, you were closest to the goblins, hmm, so obviously you were, heh, preoccupied, but was there anything, hmm, unusual, shall we say?"  
  
"Well, Professor," piped up Dedalus, "They were shouting stuff like 'Goblin Pride', sir."  
  
"Yeah, and they were, like, real piss. annoyed, sir, and one of them had a little banner, with words in it, and this little symbol like a circle round a pair of y-fronts." Dippet looked baffled.  
  
"They're undergarments, sir, Muggle things." elucidated Weasley. "But that goblin looked like he didn't really belong, sir."  
  
"Ah, that is. interesting, boys, interesting, hmm. I shall advise the Goblin Liaison immediately. In the meantime, I advise you not to chatter too much, please, hmm, wouldn't want people to, heh, panic. Now, lessons should be continuing, although I anticipate a little uproar, mm, so you shouldn't have missed much. Hmm. Well then, if you're quite ready, back to lessons. My great appreciation once again, hmm? Off you go, scram, mmhmmheheh."  
  
Dippet chuckled, a hint of nervousness touching his thin laugh like an insect crawling across gold. Only Weasley looked back, and Dippet looked at him with the sad eye of a true seer. Dippet, for all his age, knew what Weasley was becoming. Events had begun that had not occurred since the 17th century, dark happenings, but darkness through which a glimpse of light could be seen like sunlight through storm clouds. Dippet smiled. These were interesting times. 


	2. Dungeons and Deployment

The gentle buzz of idle chatter filled the air of the Great Hall. On the Gryffindor table, Weasley and Billy were updating Si about the events of that afternoon. They didn't have the same lessons, and Christina had dragged Si off for another marathon wardrobe session after Divination, so what news Si had heard was exaggerated like a giant with a Skelegro addiction. It took a good few minutes to convince him that there were no flaming catapults perched in the Forbidden Forest, armed by three-headed giants. It didn't put him off.  
  
"We need to look for them," decided Si.  
  
"Look for who?" asked Christina, who was performing a cunning little trick that allowed her to eat whilst leaving her arms firmly wrapped around Si's waist.  
  
"Goblins, love. Top secret adventuring stuff, right?" He scribbled a note down on a scrap of parchment. "Be a dear and pop this along to Diggle on the Slytherin table."  
  
"Bastard. I always knew you'd treat me like a house-elf."  
  
"That's why you love me so much. Now do hurry up." Christina rolled her eyes and swept off to where the Slytherins were eating. One of the 5th year girls glared at her with mascara-heavy eyes as she passed, the two hefty boys at her side leering happily. Si noticed them, annoyed. "Weasley, who's the short girl there, with the bodyguards?"  
  
"Haven't a clue. Think the two blokes are in the Hufflepuff team, but I couldn't be sure. Why?"  
  
"Ah, they were eyeing up my girl. Don't blame them, really. Back to business then. Hopefully we should have a bit of muscle from Crabbe and Diggle. Now, they say the Forest is Unplottable, or at least I've never seen a map, but."  
  
"Si, what the hell are you on about?" interrupted Weasley worriedly. "We are not going anywhere near the Forbidden Forest. It's called that because it is forbidden. Not because in ancient Gaelic it means 'Happy Picnic Ground for Inexperienced Wizards'."  
  
"Forbidden Forest isn't Gaelic. It's English, you eejit. If it was Gaelic, it'd sound decent, not like a figment of some mad Muggle's imagination," said Billy, always ready to claim Gaelic superiority.  
  
"That isn't the point," continued Si, "What is, is that I'm as intrigued as you all are, I'm sure, and we're going to find out what's going on."  
  
"What's going on is that a centaur pissed off some goblins. We beat the goblins. End of the story," interjected Weasley, with an air of finality. He returned to his meal. "Oi, Cumberland, is Quidditch practice still on?" Andrew Cumberland was the Gryffindor Quidditch Captain.  
  
"No. Grounds are off limit until tomorrow. Hear they're getting a squad of Hit Wizards in, or something along those lines."  
  
"Sure thing, Cumberland." Weasley turned back to the others.  
  
Si looked pleased. "Perfect. Nobody's going to be around on the field to watch us go. Ah, Christina. What are our two comrades up to?"  
  
"Dedalus can't make it. Detention for teasing the House-Elves. Says he'll be watering in the Greenhouse though, so he might be able to sneak out if the Professor falls asleep again. Might spike the tea to get her going faster. Crabbe says he'll be with you once he gets the Arithmancy homework done."  
  
Si considered this quickly, then turned to Billy. "You've done that homework, right? Pop it down to the Slytherin dungeon so he can copy it up quickly, alright? Good, I think that's set. Everybody to meet at midnight by the Quidditch stores. Wear some thick robes, it'll be cold tonight no doubt. I'll bring a Blacking Potion -- that should camouflage us enough. I believe that covers everything."  
  
"Yes," replied Weasley, "Except for the vital fact that we're not going. That's right, isn't it, Billy?"  
  
Billy grinned apologetically. "Well, it sounds pretty interesting, really. We've never done anything interesting at school yet, it's riddled with secret passages and more weirdness than an agaric 'shroom trip, but we've done sod all so far. I say we stop smoking elf-pot in the third-year dorms and start doing something interesting. Besides, who's going to know?"  
  
"Dammit, Billy, I'm not talking about being caught. The place is dangerous. I'm not kidding you. My older brother, you know, Art, he went there once with his girlfriend and they barely got out alive."  
  
"You sound like a cheap Muggle film," Si said. "We're not going to get caught, we're not going to get eaten. Anyway, I bet the teachers just make it up to, I dunno, have a private place to hold wild orgies or something. It'll be a laugh, we'll have some fun. Just for an hour. I bet the goblins have all buggered off back to Gringotts or wherever they all live."  
  
"They don't live at Gringotts, Si. Don't you even listen in History?" said Weasley.  
  
"Not really. It's the past, man. Now come on. It's dessert now. Talk about it later." Si took a bite of his chocolate roll. "See, 's good. Eat up."  
  
Weasley still didn't look too happy, but he picked up his spoon and started eating anyway.  
  
* * *  
  
Si cursed whoever had decided to make cross-house friendships so hard. Not being able to meet in each others Common Rooms, the six students off on the expedition were forced to plan their escapade in a small, freezing-cold classroom near the Potions dungeon. Crabbe and Dedalus were used to the temperature, as their Common Room was located in the dungeons, and Si wasn't too bothered either, as he enjoyed Potions immensely and could often be found down there, when Christina was elsewhere engaged; but Weasley and Billy complained bitterly.  
  
"Come on, even the Astronomy Tower would be warmer than this. Stick a Warming Charm on or something, will you?"  
  
"Shut up, Billy. I thought it was colder in Ireland?" said Si.  
  
"Sure, but then we invented fire. Oh, fine, get on with the plan then. We'll need to get back to the dorms before we sneak off again."  
  
Si, adopting a parody of his father, who had been a Hit Wizard Sergeant until he had been posted to the Department of Mysteries, began.  
  
"H'I'll be brief, men."  
  
"And women, darling," interjected Christina crossly.  
  
"And women, dear." He switched back to his characterisation. "H'our task tonight h'is to commence h'a recon-a-twar into the Forbidden Forest, h'in search h'of the mysterious tribe of 'orrible little goblins wot recently h'assaulted h'our noble school. The plan h'is. oh, I can't be arsed with this charade any longer. Right, we'll operate in two groups. I'll lead Delta, that's Diggle, Billy and myself, whilst Christina will lead Charlie squad, with Weasley and Crabbe. Okay? We'll stick together as far as we can go, but if in doubt, Charlie goes left and Delta goes right. If we see any sign of a goblin, we track it back to its lair."  
  
"Warren, Si. They live in warrens. In the ground. We're not going to be able to sneak inside a goblin warren, Si, if that's what you're thinking."  
  
"Thank you, Weasley. Warren, lair, whatever. I just want to get as near as possible. Perhaps, yeah, perhaps we could capture one. That'd be pretty decent. Yes, Weasley, I'm joking. So, we meet at the Quidditch stores after Dedalus has his detention, at 0030 hours. okay, half past midnight, people. Then we hike into the Forbidden Forest for an hour, turn around if we don't find anything, and get back to the dorms at about two or three in the morning. If we get caught, I have a few girls in Hufflepuff who are happy to provide alibis, if you don't mind a detention and a fair amount of sniggering rather than the expulsion we'd otherwise get for a little trip like this." Si paused and looked around at the others, grinning. "Any questions?"  
  
"Yeah. What if we run into a really nasty creature? I heard there was a giant spider or something in the forest."  
  
"Well, if that is true, you pray you've been listening in charms and creature lessons. Okay, fair enough. If you do, send up little red sparks with your wand, and try to stun whatever you've tripped over. Now, on a far more hip note, my dear father has recently been brought home a little gadget from the office, which I have spent the past summer holidays replicating without his knowledge." He pulled a little box from his robes, and tipped half a dozen black objects out.  
  
"Sunglasses, Si?" questioned Crabbe dubiously.  
  
"Don't be fatuous, Crabbe. They do look a little like sunglasses, possibly because they started out as them, but, well, put a pair on." Everybody did so. "Christina, blow out the torches, please. Now, tap it with your wand three times and say Nocturne Lumino."  
  
Through the sunglasses, the black room suddenly glowed an unnatural green, and Weasley could see Si grinning with delight. He would often bring back new prototypes from the Unspeakable development labs, and Weasley always felt a bit jealous when he thought of his own fathers rather humdrum job in the Ministry.  
  
"Night-vision glasses, they call them. Lets you see in the dark, without using the Lumos charm and showing off your position. Cool. Right, I think that's pretty much it. Dedalus, Crabbe, I'll see you both tonight. And so to the dormitory, dear friends. Onwards!" Si posed extravagantly, then strode with Christina out of the classroom, leaving the others behind. The two Slytherins set off back to their dorm, and, after a small gap, Weasley and Billy stepped out into the corridor.  
  
"Twazzock."  
  
"Bitter, aren't we, Weasley? Sure, so Si is a bit of a megalomaniac. He can't help it, not with his family like it is. Muggle Generals as far as anyone knows down one side, Pureblood down the other, I'd just let him get on with it, y'know. Have a laugh, have a joint in the Forest, see if there's another way to get to Hogsmeade.  
  
"Yeah. Yeah," said Weasley, with a stronger look in his eyes, "If Si wants to play toy soldiers, let him. We don't have to."  
  
"Exactly. Anyway, think about all the stuff your brother did here. Don't say you don't envy him a little bit, you go on about him enough. Come on. Besides, Violet might hear about it and suddenly find you highly daring and attractive, though that's probably pushing it."  
  
"Git."  
  
"Perhaps. Now, I have some Arithmancy to do, so you coming to the library?"  
  
"Sure, why not. Here, you heard the latest Captain Trollheart album?"  
  
"No, far ins-ville or far outs-ville?"  
  
Their voices trailed off down the passageways as they discussed the merits of the latest bands.  
  
* * *  
  
The Arithmancy section of the library was empty, as usual. Weasley didn't take the subject, instead taking Ancient Runes and Care of Magical Creatures, and so he played a few hands of wizard solitaire whilst he waited for Billy to finish off a few complex equations. The game was not that easy, especially as the cards would get up and walk about if Weasley took too long to move them. By the end of the third game, the Queen of Hearts had started flirting with the Jack of Spades. It was only a matter of time before the King of Hearts started getting jealous, and picked up the cards lying on top of him to get at the Jack. By the end, only the Jokers and a couple of sevens were able to keep the two apart, and Weasley was forced to give up the game in disgust. By that time, though, Billy had finished and they headed back for the Gryffindor tower.  
  
On the way back, they spotted the girl who had been glared at Christina at dinnertime, the two boys in tow, coming from the Astronomy Tower. Billy pointed them out.  
  
"Astronomy Tower. Odd place to be, that," he commented.  
  
"Actually, considering how quiet it must be, I'm surprised nobody's tried it out before. Though three of them, I'm an open-minded chap now, but still."  
  
Billy laughed. By this time the three had got quite close. The girl looked at him, and nudged the burly boy on the right. He pulled out a little Muggle notebook and scribbled something down. Three pairs of eyes watched Billy and Weasley as they moved past them in the corridor, a rather disturbing sensation. Then they were at the end of the passageway, and, without looking back, Billy and Weasley ran the rest of the way back to the portrait that led to the Gryffindor Common Room. 


	3. Escapades and Emergencies

Chapter 3  
  
The Forbidden Forest  
  
They didn't say anything about the plan in the common room. There was no need to. They settled down with a few games of chess, with Si generally winning ("It's all about tactics, isn't it?") though Weasley could often get a few (literally) killer moves in with his father's chess set. After the lower years had gone to bed, they played a few more games so they wouldn't look suspicious, then retired to the fifth year dorms.  
  
There were five beds, although only three were inhabited, and it showed. The walls around Weasley's bed were covered in moving sketches and the occasional colour picture, mostly depicting landscapes and interiors, but also caricatures of the professors and a rather worrying amount of improbably proportioned female nudes, some of whom bore a striking resemblance to a number of Hogwarts students in various years. Billy's corner was dominated by a massive signed photograph of the Tumbling Menhirs band, surrounded by pull-outs of amps and guitars. Si, on the other hand, kept his relatively spartan, keeping a picture of Christina on his bedside table, and a curious map of the British Isles that showed major wizarding sites of interest.  
  
Weasley stared out of the window, sketching the trees on the edge of the Forest, looking rather haggard, whilst Billy flicked through a guitar magazine. He looked particularly impressed with a Sonorus-charmed amp, and started muttering about rock gigs at the Three Broomsticks. Si ignored them both, instead staring at the wall with his sunglasses on. He was grinning for some reason. Occasionally, he turned his head sideways, looked behind him, and grinned even more. After a while though, he looked disappointed and took his sunglasses off.  
  
By that time, however, it was midnight. The escapade was on.  
  
"Take this. Blacking Potion." Si passed round a bottle of oily black liquid, gulping some down itself. It tasted like peat and grease. "It should shadow your face for about three hours. Oh, and make sure your shades are ready. It's dark out there." He said the spell and blew out the candles.  
  
"Yeah, possibly because it's midnight. Nocturne Lumino." Said Weasley. The room lit up with green light.  
  
"Right, Billy, get your broom out, it's the strongest, should carry the two of you. Christina will be round in a tick to get me on her broomstick, so that's all of us. Weasley, have you got your Zonko's pencils? We might try sketching a quick map if the rumours about it being Unplottable are false, and you're a bloody good artist, for all your obsession with young nudes."  
  
"Tosser. Fine, they're in my pocket. I've got some hot parchment too, so I'll have a go at it."  
  
"Hep, my man. Here goes then, comrades. I'll catch you at the Quidditch stores."  
  
Weasley looked out at the Forest once, then stepped out and clutched the broom behind Billy. He could see Christina round the curve of the tower, she waved at them as they dipped down towards the stores. Within a moment they arrived. Crabbe was already there, and Dedalus could be seen sneaking across the lawn from the direction of the greenhouses. Obviously the sleeping potion had worked. They huddled, shivering in the chill winter winds, nobody saying a word until Christina and Si dropped down behind them. Si handed over the Blacking Potion; the Slytherins gulped down a few drops, and their faces clouded over. Billy picked up the broomsticks and put them carefully behind the door.  
  
Then, in single file they sprinted across the grounds towards the edge of the Forbidden Forest, Si stopping as they hit the treeline to file them all through. The Forest seemed more threatening in the unnatural green of the sunglasses, and the chill air was hardly making things any better. Crabbe seemed unperturbed though -- his intimidating frame had always dissuaded anybody from acting in a threatening manner towards him, and as such he had grown up with a peaceful, trusting nature. The same could hardly be said about Billy, who for all his seriousness in lessons, was treating this like a jaunt to Hogsmeade, dashing from bush to bush and throwing pine cones at Dedalus, who responded in kind. In the black-and-green of the forest, Weasley could see Si grow more annoyed. As they passed a little cairn, drifted high in pine needles, Si swore, once, and turned to Weasley.  
  
"Dammit, that ditz is going to attract a horde of centaurs or something in a moment. And Dedalus is just as bad."  
  
"I told you, Si, there'll be an injury before we get back," whispered Weasley in return, "This bit of the wood is packed with centaurs, we'll get an arrow in our backs or something if we don't watch it."  
  
"Right, I'm going to put a kibosh on them until we get out of the centaur's pad. You know the Four-Point Spell? Check we're going in the right direction, will you?"  
  
Weasley did so quickly, marking the map he was creating, whilst Si darted forwards to where Billy had tripped Dedalus up. By now he had proceeded to stuffing pine needles down his robes. Si pulled Billy off the giggling Dedalus and shook him roughly, swearing in an undertone with a string of invectives that only military men can hope to pick up.  
  
Crabbe averted his eyes from the scene, whilst Weasley sketched out the cairn on the map parchment, and a rough pacing from the last minor landmark they had come across. Christina plodded along behind. She hadn't spoken in the past half hour since they had arrived in the Forest, and her face looked like moon on snow.  
  
"Christina, you solid? 'Cos you don't look too hip at the mo."  
  
Christina nodded weakly. "I'm dandy. Just give me a few moments to catch my breath -- all this pine fresh air always gets me this way."  
  
"I don't think it's that. The place reeks of centaur, you allergic to horses? Wait here a moment. I'll go stop the others." Weasley ran up to Si, who was still swearing at Dedalus and Billy, and grabbed his shoulder. "Si, Christina's not feeling too good. She says it's these woods. Smells like centaurs back there, real strong around that cairn, I don't think we should stick here too long."  
  
"Shit! You're kidding me?" Weasley shook his head. "Right, get Crabbe to lift Christina. These two are going to stop pissing around now, aren't they," --he said that as a fact, not a question-- "so we get out of centaur territory pronto, okay? We going in the right direction, yeah Weasley?"  
  
Weasley nodded.  
  
"Good. Let's get going. Billy, Dedalus, get off the floor and get going."  
  
They did so. Crabbe lumbered up. "It's Christina. She's unconscious. Freezing cold, too."  
  
"Shit. Oh shit! This is not good. Dammit, right, Crabbe, you're the strongest. Take Christina back, take Dedalus with you, get her to... shit, the dungeons are going to be too cold. Okay then, Dedalus, you're with me and Weasley. Billy, you take Christina back with Crabbe, get her to the Gryffindor pad, stick her in front of the fire. Check my trunk, it's got a Warming Potion at the back that'll get her moving again. Then put her to bed, no dodgy business or you'll be wearing your balls in your eye sockets, mate. Wake up Veronica, make sure she's looking after Christina, then get back to your beds. The rest of us'll be back as soon as possible."  
  
"What the hell are you on, man? We're going to shag arse back to the Castle, together, we're not going any further. Okay?" Weasley looked defiant.  
  
"No. Dammit! We've got this far, I'm not going back now. I'll go on alone if I have to."  
  
"Faggoting fairies, Si man, don't do this to me. I'm not going to leave you alone, you know that."  
  
"Come with me then. Dedalus, you don't want to come, you don't have to."  
  
Dedalus scuttled off back to the cairn, where Crabbe had thrown Christina over his shoulders effortlessly. They started walking back to the castle. Billy looked back and waved. Si nodded back, turned, and started jogging through the woods, Weasley pulling up alongside him and then, together, they sprinted until Weasley could no longer smell the musk of the centaurs.  
  
The woods were thicker; what moon there was pierced mere pinpricks of light in the canopy, and that was all. Si and Weasley lit up their wands, which helped a little. In the distance, a bell could be heard. It tolled twice, then stopped.  
  
"Damn it's late, Si. That's got to be the Hogsmeade bell, don't see how it couldn't be."  
  
"But that'd mean we've been turning circles."  
  
"And the problem with that is? Look, my map isn't going to cut it, the Wizarding Survey haven't managed one yet, they've barely managed Dartmoor, and the Forest is about a thousand times as gnarly. We can keep going in circles, or we can head for where that bell was, and then go home."  
  
"Fine, sure, whatever. Damn but this is a real bummer. You catch where the bell was?"  
  
"Yeah, I did a Four-Pointer when I heard it. About fifty degrees, I'd say. Lets go, man."  
  
They ran. It was after the first five minutes that they started sweating profusely, red hair darkening and black hair thinning into spikes in the torchlight. "Torchlight..." noticed Weasley, who pulled to a halt, hands on thighs to steady himself. Si pulled the sunglasses off.  
  
Ahead of them was a hazy wall of firelight, where the Forest thinned out and the land swayed upwards into a clearing. A harsh cackle of voices could be heard, like the cracking of a thousand bones in badly-orchestrated unison. Si dropped to one knee, pulled out a pair of Omnioculars, and panned in.  
  
"Goblins... Loads of the buggers..." He closed in on a muddy mound in the centre. It looked hastily constructed, or, thought Si, as if a mole of prodigous strength had emerged there, then patted down like an armchair, or a throne. A silhouette mounted it. Si tried to pan in closer, but the Omnioculars just weren't strong enough. He moved quickly through the scrub, not bothering to signal to Weasley, closing in a hundred foot or so, then brought the Omnioculars back up to his eyes. He could see the silhouette more clearly now, and panned in until he could make out the features. For a goblin, for that was what the creature was, it had remarkably clear features; a nose like a sickle, a fine head of wiry hair, eyes glinting smoothly in their hollows, a grin that was almost human. Then its lips opened, and the goblin began to speak.  
  
"Utiurshabûrz koangobnakh kiarkhkhursnagbûrz..."  
  
The words were guttural and harsh, and Si could not understand them. Yet it was obvious that they found favour with the crowd, which whooped with delight and savagery whenever the speaker paused for breath. After listening a while to the rhythmic scrawking, he looked around to see where Weasley was -- it was ridiculously late, he could see the sky lightening slightly. There he was, huddled by a tree stump, listening intently.  
  
"Psst! Weasley! Shake your arse over to here quickly will you?"  
  
Weasley looked up in astonishment to him, disorientated. "Oh, yes, wait a sec. You hear what they're jabbering about?"  
  
"Weasley, I don't know what the hell they're saying. We didn't all spend a week down a mine, yeah? Let's just get the hell out of here, and get back to the Castle. Tell me there, yeah, before they finish and decide to look for wizard-shaped munchies to get them down from those post-speech blues. Now let's go!"  
  
Weasley sighed, took one last look over the tree trunk at the goblins, then followed Simon home. He tapped on the map of the Forest, then looked as it traced a silver line back to the Castle. Weasley passed Si, nodded to him the way to go, and they swiftly ran back to Hogwarts.  
  
By the time they reached the edge of the Forest, Si was yawning profusely, and Weasley's eyes were bleary with lack of sleep. They staggered across to the Quidditch grounds. Weasley looked at his watch and groaned -- it was four in the morning, they had about three hours before breakfast... Si had the broom, they climbed onto it and soared silently to the dorm window, clambered through and pulled themselves into their beds. Weasley looked across to Billy.  
  
He wasn't there. 


End file.

Harry Potter, Adventure, Drama