Desperate Times

**Summary** – Despite the fact that they've slept together John is maintaining that he's never found Rodney attractive. Rodney decides to change his mind. McShep 

**Rating** – PG-13

**Disclaimer** – I don't own them

**Desperate Times…**

John bit his lip and dropped his head. "Rodney, I'm straight."

Rodney looked horrified. "Are you trying to tell me that when we slept together I managed to put you off an entire gender?"

John blinked, thrown and then recovered quickly. "No, I've always been straight."

Rodney arched an eyebrow. "You have got to be kidding me, Mr Shags-Outside-His-Own-Species doesn't like _men_?"

John gritted his teeth. "Would you let that _go_?"

Rodney rolled his eyes. "So last night when you begged me to fuck you through the mattress was what… a case of mistaken identity?"

John looked frustrated. "No, last night was just a mistake." Then he winced at how harsh that sounded. Rodney didn't appear to be too affected though.

"_Oh_!"

John wondered how was it possible to make a two letter word sound so sarcastic of have so many syllables.

"Of _course_," Rodney continued. "It's all clear to me now, I've seen the light… Well…" He leered. "Among other things."

John glared at him. "Will you _stop_ that!"

"Okay." Rodney nodded. "Absolutely, I'll see you later, Colonel."

John felt confused and he must have looked at it because Rodney paused as he was leaving.

"What did you expect? That I would cry and beg you not to leave me?"

John shook his head. "I don't… I just…"

Rodney took pity on him. "Look, we had sex, it happens, it doesn't mean anything has to change."

John pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look, I just, I'm not _opposed_ to men… I've just never found you attractive."

Rodney blinked. "You would fuck a hole in the floor and you never found me attractive?"

John shrugged, more confident now that he was in control of the conversation again. "Sorry, Rodney. It might be the friend thing."

"Teyla's a friend," Rodney pointed out and John shrugged again.

"That's different, that was a stress thing. After sparring, you know…"

Rodney rolled his eyes and then smirked. "Right then, goodbye, Colonel, I'll see you later."

John watched him leave warily. Oh, that couldn't be good.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

He was right.

John groaned and buried his head in his arms. One little conversation and now this.

It wasn't fair!

All he'd had to do was say something about respect for their friendship, respect for Rodney and it would have been fine but _no_, he had to say he'd never found Rodney attractive.

Was it his fault that Rodney had taken that as a challenge?

Well, yes. It probably was actually.

But that didn't mean he deserved this.

Over half the men in the mess were currently watching Rodney eat a banana.

He was fairly confident though that his brain was the only one being flooded with actual _memories_ of what his cock looked like disappearing into that mouth.

Subtly he adjusted himself and caught a marine two tables away doing the same thing.

He groaned, when they found out that it was his fault he was going to be so dead.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

Rodney smirked at the expression on John's face.

Despite the fact that they'd slept together John's assertion that he'd never found him attractive had stung. But never mind. John may have never found him attractive before but that was definitely about to change.

Slowly he deep throated the banana and moaned lightly.

John gave up and, scrabbling to his feet, he stumbled out of the mess.

Ronon, it appeared, had had enough too and, under the jealous eyes of most of the people in Atlantis mess hall, grabbed Rodney by the arm and hauled him out of the room, banana and all.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\

The next time John saw Rodney the physicist's self-satisfied grin was even wider than usual and he determinedly decided to ignore the whispers that Rodney had left the mess with a decidedly determined Ronon.

Instead he settled into one of the chairs opposite Rodney's desk and smirked back. "A banana? Forgive me, McKay, but I had you pegged as a little more inventive than that."

"I don't know what you're talking about," Rodney maintained, smiling pleasantly. With hindsight that should really have been his first clue but Lorne came in then and John was forced to turn his attention to matters such as the briefing Rodney had called them there for.

Apparently Rodney _was_ more inventive than that though because he then proceeded to talk for twenty minutes about the new weapon complete with disintegrator beam that they'd discovered the other day and the modifications he planned to make to ensure it would also work as a precision laser weapon.

Five minutes into Rodney's speech John was uncomfortably hard, at the end of fifteen he was panting. Rodney's confident predictions as to what the weapon was capable of as well as the knowing looks the scientist kept sending him showed that perhaps Rodney knew him a little better than John was comfortable with.

A quick glance at Lorne though showed he wasn't the only one who was affected.

But who could blame either of them as Rodney's tongue wrapped itself around words like 'thrust inertia rating' and 'coronal mass ejection'. He wasn't completely sure that any of these things had anything to do with what Rodney was talking about but since he'd stopped listening ten minutes ago he couldn't actually call him on it either.

And he couldn't check with Lorne because the Major was easily as bad as him, or he was if the glazed eyes were any indication anyway.

Eventually he couldn't take it any more and stumbled to his feet.

Leaving Rodney's office he couldn't bring himself to be surprised that Lorne didn't follow, or that the walls opaqued and the door locked as he hurriedly walked away.

\\\\\\\\\\\\\

One week later he _really_ couldn't take it anymore.

He may have been determined not to crack but no one could have stood up against the kind of tactics Rodney was using.

Not that anyone other than him had tried very hard…

He'd left the mess with Ronon, been locked in his office with Lorne, been dragged away from a dance by Teyla…

And the first time he'd worn _that_ t-shirt offworld the obligatory Alien Priestess hadn't been able to tear her eyes away.

Not that he'd really noticed.

Other than the jealousy that she'd gone straight for his scientist, other than the shock that he considered Rodney 'his scientist', he'd been so distracted by the sight of Rodney's shoulders, back and arms in _that_ t-shirt that he hadn't noticed something was wrong until they were running for the gate.

He'd had enough, at least he was man enough to admit it, Rodney had won.

Which was exactly what he said when he cornered the physicist in the labs that evening.

"If you're trying to make a point, McKay, then you've made it," John shouted. "You're hot, I get it. Now you've thoroughly humiliated me will you let it go?"

Rodney's expression stated unequivocally that he was an idiot.

"I already knew I was hot, Colonel. I've been turning down offers since I ate that banana a week ago."

John's throat and pants tightened respectively at the memory and Rodney rolled his eyes.

But something was wrong with that sentence. "Turning down? What about Ronon and Lorne and Teyla and…"

But Rodney was shaking his head.

"Ronon wanted to know what the hell I was doing, so did Lorne… Lorne went straight off after he'd gotten an explanation. To find Parrish, I believe." Rodney smiled wickedly. "Teyla was trying to help, it was an attempt to make you jealous.

"So you didn't sleep with them?"

Rodney shook his head. "I didn't want them, I wanted _you_. Hell, I ate a _banana_ for you."

John felt confused and he must have looked it because Rodney continued dramatically, "I don't even _like_ bananas!"

John couldn't help the smile as he grinned at him widely even as he eyed him in complete disbelief. "You _really_ could have fooled me, McKay…"

Fin

AN – When I started this fic my notes looked like this, literally… John – Complete slut, Rodney – Not getting any, -Rodney tries to seduce John-, John – Not getting any, too busy thinking about Rodney, Rodney – Getting some off everyone… Yeah, hope I did it justice…


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