Harry Potter Red and Gold Silk Boxer Shorts

**Chapter One:**

_"That Time of the Month"_

"Do you think if I died and came back to life Dumbledore'd notice and end his speech?" a boy with unruly black hair asked as he sat at the table, twirling his fork on the shiny surface of his empty plate.

The boy across from him, the one with the shaggier, longer locks, let out a loud peal of laughter that sounded more like a bark. "Why don't you try it and see, eh, Prongs?"

The boy called Prongs glared at his friend but couldn't hide his amusement nonetheless. "Oh, shut it, Padfoot," he answered.

"I wish he'd hurry up already. I'm starving," another boy complained as he looked longingly at his empty golden plate. This one was a bit mousier, with blonde hair and beetle eyes.

The shaggy-haired one let out another bark of laughter. "You know Dumbledore, Wormtail; he likes to ramble on about things no one else really cares about—or understands, for that matter. Right, Moony?"

A fourth boy looked up at being called, a small smile on his face as well. This boy was paler than all the others, even his hair seemed to be paling in its light shade of brown. His face looked rather worn, as though he was extremely tired. Still, the crinkles around his eyes gave away his amusement as he said, "Geniuses are often misunderstood."

"Yeah, and you would know, right?" the boy replied with another chuckle.

"…and lastly, Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me to remind all of you about the list of items that are not permitted in school hallways. You may consult this list outside his office door. Now, with that said, let us begin the start of term feast. Tuck in!" Having finished his usual speech, Albus Dumbledore sat down in his high-backed headmaster's chair while everyone else looked down at their plates, eager to begin the feast.

No sooner had Sirius Black helped himself to a generous serving of steak and potatoes and lifted a forkful to his mouth did he feel a nudge in his side. He looked up and smiled. A girl with stunning blue eyes and black wavy hair that could rival James Potter's was sliding her way in between Sirius and James, forcing them to move apart. They did not have to move over much; her body fit neatly between them. James, along with Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, looked up at the girl's arrival as well.

Scarlett Hunter smiled back at all three faces as she settled in. Her dark wavy hair reached just below her shoulders, and her fringe rested slightly above her right eyebrow. She reached a good 5'7" in height and had subtle curves. She was a Quidditch girl; not so much into studying. She was naturally brilliant at Charms, but only managed to scrape Acceptables in the rest of her classes. Studies weren't her number one priority, apparently.

"Where have you been?" Sirius inquired without preamble, staring intently, though his gaze was not focused on Scarlett's face. Noticing this, she glared slightly at him.

Sirius Black was gorgeous, to say the least. His shaggy black hair fell only slightly into his grey eyes, which almost always had a certain sparkle about them that suggested something that you just couldn't quite put your finger on. His ruggedly handsome face was rarely missing that trademark grin.

Sirius finally flicked his eyes up to Scarlett's, his lips pulled in a smirk. "Well?" he asked again.

Scarlett stared right back at Sirius, her lips twisting upwards in a slightly amused smile. She pushed her hair off her shoulder and said, "Not that it's any of your business, really, but I had to use the loo."

Sirius cocked an eyebrow in a questioning look. "It took you all through the Sorting and Dumbledore's speech to use the loo?" he asked.

Scarlett regarded him with another funny look anyway. "Why does it matter so much anyway?" she asked.

"He missed you," said Peter under his breath. This was followed by a sharp intake of breath and Peter shot Sirius a look as he bent slightly to massage his offended shin.

Scarlett's lips twitched as though she was fighting a smile. "Well, if you must know," she said with an air of slight indignation. "I had to go all the way up to the one on the seventh floor, as Peeves has flooded all the other ones. On top of that, it happens to be 'that time of the month,'" she said, bending over to begin eating her supper.

"That was more information that I'd have liked to know, thanks," mumbled James and Scarlett gave him a slightly amused look.

Peter's face took on a confused expression. His eyebrows came together over his light blue eyes, and his mouth opened slightly in thought. Either he had not been listening to the whole of the conversation, or else he had missed a few key lessons on the female anatomy because he proceeded to ask in a loud voice, "What time of the month?" Then, he added in a whisper, "Is it full moon already?"

Sirius, James, Scarlett, and Remus all stared at him for a moment. Then, simultaneously, James burst out laughing, Scarlett shook her head at the table, and Sirius said with a teasing smile, "Are you really that thick, Wormtail?" Remus, however, took pity on Peter and, his voice stammering embarrassedly, explained Scarlett's meaning.

Peter flushed a deep red and mumbled something inaudible as he realized his mistake. However, Remus gave him a reassuring pat on the back and said, "It's all right, mate. Everyone makes mistakes now and then. Consider yours forgotten." He looked over at Sirius and James, who were now both laughing so hard that tears were streaming from their eyes. He then turned his gaze back on Peter and, unable to hide his amusement at the pair of them, said with a smile, "Although, I'm sorry to say I can't promise as much from Padfoot or Prongs. But you know how they are. Don't take it personally." He winked at Peter, who gave a slight smile and turned back to his dinner.

The meal passed quite normally for the group. Once Sirius had been able to stop his fit of laughter, he had turned his attention to Scarlett. They talked through the rest of dinner, enjoying a vast array of subjects ranging from what they did over the past summer to whose favorite Quidditch Team was better.

"I'm telling you Scarlett, Ireland has got the best Beaters and an excellent Seeker. There's no way Italy would be able to beat them," Sirius was saying toward the end of the meal.

"That may be true, but Italy has really brilliant Chasers and a top-notch Keeper. They would easily flatten Ireland," Scarlett retorted.

Sirius chose not to answer her, and instead he inserted his fork into his mouth. However, he found that there was nothing on it and realized too late that he had not been paying any attention to what he had been eating. He looked down at the food on his plate, which, incidentally, had since disappeared. Looking up at the staff table, he saw that Dumbledore had risen to his feet and was talking once again.

"…all full, so it's off to bed with you now. Goodnight!" The Great Hall erupted in noise as students began talking and shuffling towards the exit, eager to get to their dormitories for the night.

As they were leaving the Great Hall with the most of the other students, Sirius turned to James and said, "What time of the month?" He and James roared with laughter again at the thought, the humor carrying all the way to Gryffindor Tower.

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Scarlett remained seated at the Gryffindor table, unaware that Dumbledore had dismissed the students. She watched Sirius leave the Great Hall and realized that she had a huge smile on her face that she couldn't seem to wipe off. Sirius usually had that effect on her—as he did with most girls—but it was only recently that she had really noticed it.

Scarlett shook her head in an attempt to rid herself of the thought that had just crossed her mind. She couldn't like Sirius Black, not in that way at least. He was one of her very best mates for Merlin's sake! But what if …? Contradicting thoughts bounced around in her head and Scarlett couldn't make sense of any of them. She sat in confused contemplation until a familiar voice broke the surface.

"… Hello! Earth to Scarlett! Anyone in there?" The voice sounded distant at first, but as it penetrated her Sirius-filled thoughts, it grew louder and she suddenly realized who it was.

Lily Evans was rapping on Scarlett's forehead with her knuckles. Scarlett shook herself out of her reverie as Lily's face came into clearer focus. Her friend's vivid green eyes were boring questioningly into Scarlett's blue ones, and her fiery red hair was pulled up into a loose ponytail that snaked across her shoulder and ended just under her collarbone.

"Huh?" Scarlett asked in a slightly frazzled voice.

"You didn't even hear a word I said, did you?" Lily asked as she pushed her ponytail off of her shoulder. "Dumbledore's dismissed us, but I would guess you didn't hear that either, did you? You looked overly happy, like you had one too many Firewhiskeys. Did you …" she asked, her voice accusing as she picked up Scarlett's goblet and ran it under her nose, trying to detect the odor of the offending alcohol.

"No," Scarlett said defensively as she snatched the goblet back and let the pumpkin juice inside wash across her lips. "How would I get Firewhiskey in the Great Hall? Like I would be stupid enough to try it anyway," she said, taking another sip of her drink. "You should know me better than that, Lily. Besides, I only drink on holidays and special occasions, remember?"

"Only too vividly," Lily answered as images of the end of term party last June flashed through her mind. "Well then, what's up?" she asked as she shook away the memories.

"Nothing," Scarlett hastily said as she turned a light shade of pink.

Lily must have noticed Scarlett's change in color because she looked Scarlett straight in the eye and said, "Nothing always means something. Now spill it." She had that determined look on her face she always got when she really wanted to know something. Once you got that look from Lily, there was no backing down. Experience had taught Scarlett just that. The trouble with this time was that Scarlett knew for a fact that Lily would not like what she had been smiling about. Not one bit.

Scarlett let out a huff and tentatively began. "Well …" she said, but as her thoughts returned to their topic of earlier, she trailed off, a smile starting to form once again on her face. She couldn't keep her mind on the conversation with Lily when Sirius—with his gorgeous head of hair—had sauntered his way back into her head.

There was no denying that he was just about the sexiest bloke in Hogwarts. Even Scarlett was not afraid to admit that. He had those piercing grey eyes and probably the best head of hair she had ever seen. How could she not admit that he looked good? And, of course, who could forget his best feature: his smile. It was incredibly charming and seemed to always glitter with mirth. There was so much more to it than what was seen on the surface, but only someone who really knew him could get everything out of that smile. She knew him well enough all right; she knew things about him that no one else did, save for James.

She couldn't like her best mate, though. No, certainly not …Could she? Her jumble of thoughts about the black-haired boy, however, was interrupted once again by her friend as Lily broke in with another question.

"It's a bloke, isn't it?" she asked, her eyes sparkling and voice sounding excited as she looked at Scarlett, an eager expression on her face.

Floating back to earth, Scarlett shrugged her shoulders in a non-committal way, but her twinkling blue eyes and still widening smile seemed to give her away.

"Well, go on then, who is it?" Lily asked.

Scarlett was seconds from answering, her mouth opening to speak the words, but then she stopped. Her smile started to fade a bit as she remembered exactly who it was she was dealing with here. Lily, she knew, would be outraged if Scarlett told her who she'd been thinking about. Her best friend hated Sirius almost as much as she hated his best mate. If she knew that Scarlett fancied Sirius, what would she do? Lily already didn't like the fact that she was such good mates with the lot of them. Would she think of Scarlett in the same way she thought of all the other girls who had fallen for Sirius' charm—pathetic and weak? Or, more frightening still—was it possible that Lily was right?

i_No_/i, Scarlett decided, i_she wasn't_/i. Lily did not know the Sirius that Scarlett did. Lily had not taken the time to get to know that Sirius, the one underneath all the arrogance and witty humor. Unlike Scarlett, Lily only knew the prankster. Scarlett knew better, though. Six years of close friendship was proof enough that Scarlett knew Sirius better than almost anyone.

Scarlett's thought continued to swirl and she couldn't decide one way or the other. Let's say, for the sake of argument, she had fallen for Sirius Black, she decided. Lily may have been one of her best mates, but she knew Lily would not take the news lightly. Her dislike of Sirius was strong, after all. If Lily was any kind of friend, though, she would want Scarlett to be happy, right? That's how she should feel, at any rate. That's how Scarlett would feel if she were in Lily's shoes, wouldn't she? The thoughts continued swirling in her mind, making Scarlett even more confused than before, and it was with surprise that she realized Lily had started talking to her again.

"… Hello?" Lily's voice drifted into Scarlett's head as she waved a hand in front of her face. "What is with you today?" she asked, glaring at her friend, confusion etched on her face. "That's the second time you've zoned out in only five minutes. Now tell me who the bloke is. Is it Declan Stuart? He got really cute over the summer, did you notice? Or perhaps Nate Johnson, I've always thought he was hilarious …" Lily babbled on. She seemed to realize she was doing it, however, because she soon stopped herself. "Well?" she demanded when Scarlett didn't immediately answer.

For a second, Scarlett considered telling Lily who had been roaming around in her thoughts, but then thought better of it. She didn't want to confess something to Lily that she didn't even fully understand herself. Scarlett didn't know what to think, and was torn between both ideas—did she fancy Sirius or not? She couldn't, she knew; she couldn't like one of her best mates in that way … But did she?

Scarlett could feel her mind going insane on its teeter-totter of emotions. She just couldn't decide—she wanted and hoped for both outcomes, and until she could figure out her feelings for i_herself_/i, there really was no point in telling Lily and having her get all worked up over it. No, telling Lily would just complicate things even more; Scarlett was sure of at least that much. Lily's sentiments would, undoubtedly, throw Scarlett's mind into even i_more_/i confusion, though at this point, it was very difficult for her to even see how more confusion would be possible. With Lily, though, Scarlett was sure that impossibility could be achieved. At this point, here was no reason to alarm her, especially because Scarlett i_knew_/i what Lily would say, the arguments that would arise from her friend, and they weren't anything that she wanted to deal with at the moment. So, instead, Scarlett quickly thought up an excuse.

"Sorry to disappoint you, Lil, but it's not Declan or Nate. It's not even a bloke at all, actually. I was just relishing the fact that we finally made it. We're i_seventh years_/i now, Lily—we're nearly through. It's really sort of exciting, isn't it?" she said with a huge smile. The lie came easily and flowed from her lips without trouble. If Scarlett didn't know any better, she would have believed herself.

Lily gave her a questioning look, but then seemed to accept her story as the truth and she smiled as well. "You know, you're right. It's our last year and it's going to be fantastic, especially since I've been named Head Girl!" she said excitedly as she stood from the table, ready to leave.

"I see you haven't met your Head Boy yet …" Scarlett said to herself, and she smirked as she followed Lily out of the Great Hall.

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"Sirius, wake up or you'll be late to breakfast! We're getting this year's schedules from McGonagall, so you can't be late!"

Most of the space in the Gryffindor seventh year boy's dormitory was taken up by five four-poster beds, each matching the others in everything but the color of the sheets. Even with the beds, the room would still have been spacious if so much of the floor had not been taken up as well. 'Organization' and 'cleaning' were two words whose meaning the boys who occupied the room seemed to be unaware of. The floor was littered with various objects that one might expect to find in a teenage boy's bedroom (as well as a small number of other things one might i_not_/i have expected, but probably should have). Four of the five beds were vacated and only two blokes were left in the room.

Sirius, his mind still clouded with sleep, vaguely heard a voice shouting in his direction. Sirius was lying on his stomach, one hand underneath his pillow and the other hanging over the side of his bed, his red sheets in a tangled mess around the lower half of his body, and his comforter on the floor.

The reason he was so tired on this particular morning was due mostly to the fact that he had been up half the night thinking. That alone was rare, seeing as Sirius loved to sleep. But the real shock of the matter was that he had spent so much time thinking about a girl, and what was more, he had been utterly confused by her. Sirius hadn't realized until he saw here again that night how much he'd missed her over the summer. Not because she had gotten any prettier—no, she had always been fairly good-looking—but more the fact that this past summer had been the first that she'd spent the entire vacation away on holiday. This had meant nothing to Sirius throughout the duration of the summer, or so he'd thought. Now, though, he wasn't as certain. In all his seventeen years, he had never before been confused about a girl. It was very odd indeed and, ultimately, such confusion—as well as the simple fact that he probably couldn't stop thinking about her even if he had wanted to—had led to his final conclusion.

This girl was different, however; the situation was more complicated whenever the girl involved just so happened to be one of his best mates. She knew everything about him, even certain things no one else except James knew; she knew him at his best and at his worst. No other girl had ever known even i_half_/i of what she did. Sirius knew he had fallen into tricky business; he would have to tread carefully to preserve their friendship at the same time as hopefully increasing their relationship to something that was considered 'more than' friends. It was such a difficult line to walk, and options swirled in his head for hours before he had finally drifted off into sleep.

Unfortunately, his sleep hadn't been nearly long enough, and his 'friend' was evidently not feeling very sympathetic.

"Sirius, come on!" the voice shouted again, closer to his bed this time. The room suddenly became brighter as the person went over to the window and threw open the curtains. The sun shined straight into his face, and Sirius shoved his pillow over his head to block out the offending light. He grunted, still half asleep, but did not make the slightest effort to get up. He was definitely i_not_/i a morning person. A moment later, he found himself face down on the floor next to his bed. Remus Lupin had pushed him off it and onto the floor.

"Bloody hell, Moony," Sirius grumbled. "Was that really necessary?" he asked, rolling over and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. As he sat up, the blankets covering him fell so that they only covered the bottom half of his body.

"Would you have gotten out of bed otherwise?" Remus inquired, his voice raised in a tone of polite interest. As a prefect, Remus felt that he should at least make some effort when it came to his friends. After all, he thought the most likely reason Dumbledore had appointed him the position was to get him to try and tame Sirius and James. Such actions, however, were far easier said than done.

"'Course not," Sirius answered truthfully. "But you could have been a bit gentler. You may have damaged some key parts of my body that I'm quite fond of, and if you've ruined my performance, Remus, I won't rest until I've had my revenge," he said, a slight twinkle in his eyes and a subtle smile playing on his lips.

Shaking his head and chuckling, Remus said, "You have absolutely no shame, Padfoot."

Sirius gave a bark-like laugh and replied. "Can I help it if I am so outrageously good-looking that all the girls wish to shag me?" he asked. "And of course, being the insanely-caring and ever-giving bloke that I am, Moony, I simply don't have the heart to turn them away."

Remus couldn't help it; he burst out laughing.

It was to the hails of laughter coming from Remus that James entered the dormitory, already fully dressed, his Head Boy's badge pinned on his chest and his hair a mess – but that was nothing new. "Still not up yet, Padfoot?" he asked, glancing at the black-haired boy still on the floor by his bed. "I thought eating was your favorite thing to do, aside from snogging ..." he said, eventually trailing off.

"I'm sorry, but since when did everyone become my bloody nannies?" Sirius asked, his voice trying to sound angry, but the present and playful grin on his face made the effort worthless. Fully awake now, he stood up and made his way over to the closet he shared with Remus, maneuvering through the chaotic mess like only someone who knew its unseen methods could.

James ignored Sirius' comment and looked instead at Remus, who had finally started to breath properly again. "What was so funny, Moony?"

"My sex life, though I'm not entirely sure why," Sirius promptly called over his shoulder before Remus had the chance to answer. He pulled his robes over his head, his shaggy hair falling perfectly back into place. The black drawstring pajama bottoms he had been wearing had now joined the rest of the clutter on the dormitory floor.

James looked at Sirius for a moment before replying. "I'm not even going to ask," he said. "I don't want to know. Speaking of your sex life, though, Scarlett is downstairs right now in the common room."

Sirius felt his cheeks flush a bit and his eyes moved toward the door seemingly of their own accord. However, he realized what he was doing and managed to regain himself in a matter of seconds. In a voice that he evidently hoped was normal, he said, "So? What's our dear friend Scarlett got to do with my sex life?"

"Oh, come off it," James said with a laugh. "You were staring at her chest the whole time the two of you were talking after she came back from the loo last night."

"And don't try and pretend you two weren't flirting all during dinner either because it was very obvious that you were," Remus added, his words continuing from James' statement like they were one, singular thought.

"I was not staring at her chest!" Sirius exclaimed in mock-outrage, though muttering, "At least not the entire time we were talking," under his breath before returning his voice to a normal volume. "You can't see them properly through these bloody over-sized school robes anyway," he said, gesturing at his robed body. "And as for the flirting, I won't try and pretend I wasn't, but that shouldn't be surprising. I would have thought by now you would know me enough to notice that flirting is one of my favorite pastimes. Apparently," he said, clutching his heart as if it was breaking and pretending to blink back tears, "we're not as good of friends as I thought we were."

"Oh shut it," James said as he threw a pillow at the now grinning Sirius, who could no longer hold up the act of being emotionally wounded. The offending pillow hit him lightly on his shoulder before falling feebly to the floor. "Moony was merely saying that it looked to us as if Scarlett was receiving some … 'special' attention last night," he finished.

"Thought wrong then, didn't you?" Sirius said as he turned his back on his mates so that they couldn't see the grin that had appeared on his face.

"So, you don't like Scarlett in that way then? You only like her as a friend?" asked Remus.

"Haven't I just said so?" said Sirius, disbelief etched on his face as he stared at his friend. "She's one of my best mates, for Merlin's sake!"

"Fine. If you say so," James said, although his tone seemed to say that he was not at all entirely convinced at Sirius' answer. His exchange of looks with Remus confirmed this instantly, in Sirius' opinion.

"Why were you in the common room and not at breakfast anyway? Having another go at asking Lily Evans out?" Sirius asked James, trying to move away from the subject of Scarlett. His efforts, however, were in vain.

"Well that was originally the plan, yeah" answered James. "She was busy helping Scarlett, though."

"Helping her with what?" Sirius asked, hoping his voice sounded even and normal. He did not want to give James and Remus another reason to talk about him and Scarlett again, and an interest-piqued voice would do just that.

"I think Lily said they were looking for Scarlett's bra," said James. "Apparently, she seems to have lost one, although why it would be anywhere in the common room is beyond me. And seeing as I've known Scarlett since we were about three—which would explain why even talking with you two about her womanliness is quite uncomfortable enough—I was not so inclined to ask such a question," he said, a slight grimace forming on his face.

"'Womanliness?'" Remus asked, laughing at James' apparent discomfort.

"She won't find it down there," Sirius thought out loud before he could stop himself. His eyes seemed to float over to his bed as he spoke, but upon realizing what he was doing, he instantly snapped them back towards his friends, hoping they had not noticed. He also tacked on a smile for good measure. Unfortunately, the famous Black grin was easily distinguishable, especially by those who knew him best, and James seemed to notice the difference.

"Why not?" James inquired, intrigue obvious in his tone. He knew that something was up—his questioning expression told Sirius that he hadn't fooled his best mate, however hard he'd attempted to.

"Because …" Sirius said, trailing off as he headed towards his bed. Having lost all hope of keeping his secret much longer, he began rummaging around beside his bed. Of course, he knew he would probably have told all of them by the end of the day anyway. They were his best mates, after all. So, a huge grin on his face, he turned back around to face them, saying, "She's looking in all the wrong places." In his hands was a bright red, lacy bra.

Neither James nor Remus could hide their surprise and amusement at the sight of Sirius holding Scarlett's bra. "How did you—? Why would you—? But you've just said—?" James sputtered, his eyes widening and moving from the bra to Sirius and back again.

Suddenly, James' expression turned to one of dawning comprehension. "You i_do_/i like her!" he said with an air of satisfaction at being right. Then he turned serious for a moment, glancing at the bra again before asking, "But you two haven't—have you?"

As an answer, Sirius folded his arms across his chest and leaned back against the wall. He paused for a moment, and then tilted his head to one side and shrugged. James threw another pillow at Sirius, who managed to duck just in time. Having missed its mark, the pillow hit the wall right where Sirius' head had been seconds before.

Upon assuring that there were no more pillows coming from James, Sirius straightened up, his eyes full of mirth and his mouth in the start of a smile as he looked at both Remus and James. He once again picked up the red bra from the floor, where it had fallen when he dropped it in his haste to avoid the flying pillow, the smirk on his face growing ever wider.

All three boys silently looked again at the bra in Sirius' hand. Then, all at once, they burst out laughing. It rang through the room and wafted down the stairs, causing the occupants of the common room to abandon whatever they had been doing and look up. Through their laughter, the three blokes somehow managed to descend the stairs into the common room and climb out the portrait hole, though the closed portrait could not block out the sound of their uproar.

Still inside the common room, Lily and Scarlett, both with confused looks on their faces, watched the three of them go. They had followed the boys' progress all the way across the room, and were still completely unaware what the reason behind their behavior could be.

"I wonder what's got them laughing so hard," Scarlett asked Lily, her eyebrows raised and an intriguing smile joining the confused expression on her face.

"Merlin knows," sighed Lily. "With that lot, it'll be something stupid and immature that we would hardly find amusing," she said. She paused a moment before shaking her head at the ground and muttering, "Boys." Then she lifted up a couch cushion as she resumed the futile search for Scarlett's personals.

Scarlett, on the other hand, stood for a moment longer, still gazing at the portrait hole the blokes had just crawled through. "Yes. Boys," she agreed. Amused realization shining in her eyes, she smiled the grin that she had previously been fighting to hide ever since the boys had shown up. Making her decision, Scarlett abandoned the search for her bra and exited the common room after them.

At the sound of the portrait closing over the hole for a second time Lily looked up. Scarlett, it seemed, had given up the search and had left. A little annoyed that Scarlett had forgotten to inform her of this, Lily grumbled a bit to herself as she hurried after her friend.


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Harry Potter, Humor, Romance