Harry Potter World Wizarding Network

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters and any items, places or settings mentioned in here because J.K. Rowling owns them. I haven't paid for it. I'm just a poor little student; without very much money at all, so don't sue. I also don't own the quotes from the ever popular "the Goon Show", and I'm not sure who owns them.  
  
A/N: Well... I don't know what came over me with this one, but it was probably because ANYTHING was better than Quadratic Relationships. This is extremely badly written, so just bear with me for the moment. I'm coping with a lot of different things at the moment, with an absolute cartload of homework, as well as having to help renovate our kitchen (it's already been 6 months!), but anyway. Hopefully I'll get started on a nice long fic sometime soon.  
  
Announcer: Here on the World Wizarding (and witching) Network, where just because it doesn't happen, doesn't mean it isn't true; and up next, our live interview with Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived. He has just received a cordial invited by the Ministry of Magic to throw himself of the Astronomy Tower at Hogwarts. We cross live to him now. As he is standing next to our reporter, Ms Rita Skeeter...  
  
Reporter: Yess smiles fakely at a non-existent audience Well... Good Evening Mr Mal... Potter non-existent audience can see that it is actually Draco, with black hair, glasses and `scar'. We at the WWN are so pleased that you could take some time from your oh-so-important exams to talk to us.  
  
Draco: Helloo. First, I would just like to say Good Morning Boys and Girls. What a pleasure it is to be here talking tonight to Ms Skeeter. By the way, for those who don't know, I'd just like to do a plug for Hogwarts, seeing as it's just the best school in the whole entire world. Evidently, my avid listeners as far away as Guatemala probably can't understand me (probably because I'm not speaking Guatemalish). All those wizards and witches in Guatemala who can't understand me, put your translators on now. Anyway, I just love Hogwarts. Professor Dumbledore was sooooooooo helpful during the... erm... events that happened during the Triwizards tournament.  
  
Reporter: As our devoted non-existent audience might have read, in our *fabulous* magazine, the Witch Weekly, you received a letter from the Ministry of Magic. Here I quote `To Mr H. Potter, you have been cordially invited to throw yourself off the Astronomy tower at Hogwarts. Yours truly Ministry of Magic.' end quote. How did you feel when you received that letter?  
  
Draco: Well, as soon as I read the letter, I was shocked. How dare the Ministry of Magic say something like that to *me*! After all, I *am* Harry Potter and I have now successfully defeated Voldemort 5 times now. It's not my fault he keeps coming back. I can't do anything about that, I just have to keep running around and defending the world from evil.  
  
Reporter: Now let's go to some calls, first up we have a Mr Colin. Hello Colin.  
  
Colin: um... we... I mean... I... would like to say hello to Mr Potter, can I? Can I? Please?  
  
Reporter: Yes if you must sighs  
  
Colin: Hello, Mr Potter! I think that you're the best superhero in the whole wide world! You've already saved the world from `You Know Who' five times. That's so amazingly cool! Do you have a cold Mr Potter? You sound as if you do, you just don't sound the same as you do at school, normally. But that can't possibly be true, because you've saved the world five times and superheros just don't get colds! You also sound meaner than usual, more like that shivers Malfoy git.  
  
Draco: Er... well... cough, cough maybe I do have a cold, I didn't think that `superheroes' sneers could catch colds either. As for that Malfoy git! I think that he should be banned from society, being such a low character and all...  
  
Colin: Well I'd also like to say hello to my dad. Can I? Can I?  
  
Reporter: No. Goodbye. Our next caller is Dobby from Hogwarts  
  
Dobby: Hello Mr Harry Potter sir, you sound like Mr Draco sir. Dobby didn't think you'd be impersonating that sort of person sir, but Dobby thought wrong. Dobby shall go iron his hands now, sir.  
  
Draco: Yes, Dobby. As previously stated. I do have a cold. I'm not Draco Malfoy and... and... I don't think I want to take any more callers today.  
  
Reporter: I think we'll leave it at that then, you should go home and have a rest in case you loose your voice. Thanks for your time.  
  
Draco: No problems, thanks Rita, it was a really great interview.  
  
Reporter: Well we'll go to the open line, and first up we've got Harry from Surrey.  
  
Harry: I'd just like to refute the claim that that *person* made about him being Harry Potter. I'm the real Harry Potter, and I haven't received any mail from the Ministry of Magic so I don't know where you got that form. I know most of the readers of the Witch Weekly already think I'm crazy, that I hear voices, and I am emotionally involved with Hermione Granger, but I am not. Shall I tell everyone the thing I know about you Rita? Shall I tell them that you are an Un...... beep  
  
Reporter: Well... That was a very interesting phone call. Thankyou Harry for telling us that you are Harry Potter, but I'll let *my* listeners make up their own minds about that one. I can assure you however that I had Harry Potter live in my studio less than 5 minutes ago. Now let's go to a song. Next up we will be talking to Cornelius Fudge from the Ministry of Magic.  
  
A/N: Yes... Definitely badly written. That took me less than an hour to knock up. Even though I only chanced upon less than of it while searching for a different file. Oh well... I'll let you all make up your own minds. Extra 10 points if you find the Goon Show quotes.  
  
You also get bonus points if you include:  
  
* Allodoxaphobia  
* Athazagoraphobia  
* Caligynephobia  
* Luposlipaphobia  
* 13  
* Loopy  
* Ai! Aniron nwalme  
  
See how you go!! You can always email me and ask for meanings *g*  
  
Odgebap  
  
Loretta 


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Harry Potter, Humor, Parody