Harry Potter 1. Why me?

Welcome to THE MARAUDERS ERA, or just plain past. Well it's not plain because it has Sirius in it. But, you'll have to read on..

**DEDICATIONS: To Hunneh, Ms, Arteh and the rest of you guys.**

_**Disclaimer: None of these wonderful characters from Harry Potter are mine, they are the wonderful creations of J.K. Rowling. This fanfic however belongs to Sirius and Remus.**_

September 1st: It all began here at the station for all of us to board the Hogwarts Express. I met up with my friends the Marauders. Like usual James and Sirius were off to the side most likely plotting some new scheme. I smiled to myself, still remembering when we had first met each other. A sudden "OI" brought me out of my memories and black hair filled my vision.

"Remmy, how nice to see you."

The usual stupid remark.

"It's a bit hard for me not to when we go to the same school my dear Padfoot."

Sirius grinned, his grey eyes twinkling in happiness. He turned around when another familiar voice floated over and James appeared hauling his trunk, raven black hair stuck at awkward angles and hazel eyes with a semi-amused look behind round glasses.

"Remus! Think you could help me with my trunk? Sirius refuses to do an inch of work.—"

"— and ruin my perfect looks Prongs I think not."

I smiled, how could I miss a moment of this?

Apparently it was better to do so, for five seconds later they were arguing again.

Home sweet home indeed.

AS the castle came into view I breathed a sigh of relief, it was amazing still after so many years of being in it and seeing it every year. I supposed the first impression had still never worn off like it had the other three. Maybe I was too clingy to something that would fade. As soon as the carriages stopped I wrenched open the door, and gasped for breath. I never got used to the smell of dead cats in them, it was revolting, and I would have to ask the Headmaster about it. Turning around I noticed that the others had already left, except Sirius. I was touched by the fact that he had remained behind, I more expected Peter to stay not Sirius. I gave him a questioning look and he just shrugged.

"James is still moping about over me not helping him with the trunk, I swear if there is anything more annoying than having to listen to James mope about me, it's him gabbling over Lily. I'd rather listen to him whine about me not helping."

I cracked a smile and walked up with him to the castle, chatting away like anything. We walked through the wide open doors into the Great Hall and snuck in, hoping that the Gryffindor Head wouldn't notice us. She did. With the usual pursed lips expression aimed at Sirius she turned to the incoming first years and pulled out a long roll of parchment, the holy "Parchment of Names" as James and Sirius liked to call it. It was over in a minute, surprising for the amount of hard names to pronounce like:

"Ailiabastier, Montgomery."

The poor kid, more than a few people chuckled at his name, than laughed some more as he was sorted into Hufflepuff.

"What kind of parent calls their kid Montgomery?"

"The same one's that call their kid Sirius, I mean were they serious when they said that?"

"Oh haha James, I was expecting that sort of lame thing from Remus."

"Oh thankyou Sirius for your complete confidence in my joke making abilities."

We took the familiar path route to the Gryffindor Common Room, or the GCR, before I stood in front of the Fat Lady, the portrait covering the entrance to the dorms. I smiled and greeted her, always best to get into her good books at the beginning of the term.

"Mufflebuffin."

I should have expected the comments following the new password. Though not from Sirius who usually made it his job to annoy the Fat Lady to no end.

"What kind of password is Mufflebuffin?"

"I think someone has been listening to Peter in his sleep to make that accurate description of our password."

"Oh thanks James, that is so funny, hahaha."

I rolled my eyes and walked through as the entrance opened and we clambered in, some of the first years, and Peter included needed a leg up into the GCR. As the other prefect told the first years where to go I walked up into my dormitory and fell promptly asleep.


	2. The Ungrateful Potion

Disclaimer: Sirius and Remus and the rest of the Harry Potter world still aren't mine, but the work of J.K.Rowling. Those braincells are still hard at work and I hope they always will.

Summery: Remus and the other Marauders have arrived at Hogwarts, but will the next day be as good as the first?

September 2nd: I woke up, the sounds of Peter snoring filled my ears and I groaned. Sliding the curtain of my four poster, almost as handsome as myself, I looked at the clock. 6:00 am. I flopped back onto the bed and pushed a pillow over my face, wishing that I was still asleep. No such luck. I pulled open my curtains again and slipped out of bed, feet instantly in my slippers and my hands aiming for my robes. As I got dressed I wondered whether James or Remus were awake, most likely not. Stifling a yawn I walked towards the bathroom and looked into the mirror as I brushed my teeth. Still the same handsome boy.

"Sirius stop admiring yourself in the mirror the rest of us need to use it as well you know."

I whirled around, toothpaste in my mouth and a look of shock on my face.

"Phames! Whab arb foo doib hereb?"

Great, now I look like an idiot.

"Fame as you Siri."

He batted his eyelashes at me and I rolled my eyes before ridding my mouth of the toothpaste and rinsing.

"Very funny James, I thought you were asleep."

"I was, then I heard Peter snoring."

We caught each other's eyes and laughed.

We had finished breakfast early after finding out that we had potions first. Remus looked a bit tired not uncommon for out resident lycanthrope. I gave him a concerned look and he just shrugged then walked beside me mumbling under his breath about getting earplugs. I nudged James in the ribs as a rather pretty Ravenclaw walked past.

"What do you think James?"

"I think Evans is better"

I sighed and walked next to Remus, knowing that the conversation was going to revolve around Lily for the next two days. I sighed even louder as we stopped outside the potions class. I frowned as the group of Slytherins approached and I greeted Snape with a malicious grin.

"Hey Snivelly, had a nice holiday."

The muscles in his face twitched but he was unable to do anything because the Potions master deemed it necessary to deem his presence on us at that moment.

We walked into the cold classroom me and Snape shooting death glares at each other before we sat down at opposite sides of the classroom, me next to Remus this time. The annoying voice of the professor coming to our ears.

"Now, you will be in pairs for this potion, the Gender Changing potion. I have already have put on the ingredients to the spell on the board now DO IT."

We jumped and rushed to get the ingredients, like half a mandrake root, and 6 Welsh green dragon scales. As we added each ingredient slowly we watched as it changed colour, Remus thoroughly into the potion. We added the last ingredient, Unicorn horn and waited. Then the bell went and the other bottled their potions and drank them turning into girls or boys and back agin in a second, we didn't finish until after the others left. The professor glared at us and we drank it hurriedly, unfortunately becoming stuck in female form.

"You idiots! How am I going to explain this to the Headmaster."

I looked at Remus, I had to admit, and he looked pretty good as a girl.

"Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Nothing.."

I gave a small grin and followed the Professor towards the Headmasters office.


	3. Sirius, Remus and the Potion

Disclaimer: I still haven't received the letter saying that Sirius is alive yet, so he still belongs to J.K.Rowling with the rest of the Harry Potter world.

Summery: Remus and Sirius stuffed up their potion and now they are stuck as girls. Will they cope with the changes of their life-style?

September 2nd: I walked up after the Potions master, worried about what will happen. I shot Sirius a look of anger and then stared at the tapestries on the wall. They were amazing, why had I never noticed them before. The way the colours splashed together and created such a wonderful vision of talent and art. I stopped and gazed admiringly at the art and was then poked in the back of the head by Sirius, tears welled in my eyes.

"What did you do that for you meanie?"

Sobs choked me and I buried my head in my hands.

"Remus, what /are/ you doing!

I looked up, tears streaming down my face. Then I realized something, why was I crying like a girl?

"Oh, erm, sorry."

I gave an embarrassed grin and walked demurely behind the professor and Sirius. I was distracted but I managed to follow behind. Sirius' long raven black hair bobbed in front of me and I struggled to fight the obsession to complain about my own hair to him. We entered the Headmasters office in record time; I can't even remember how we got there in the first place. I went a pale shade of green. I looked up and noticed the headmaster sitting behind his desk and his fingers in front of his face slightly steeped.

"What seems to be the problem Julios?"

I shifted slightly from foot to foot and concentrated on the ground below me, Sirius on the other hand was staring straight at the Professor.

"I'm a /girl, his potion turned me into a female!"

He screeched, he sounded so much like his mother, I would have to tell him about it later.

"And you were not before Ms.."

"I'm Sirius, see gorgeous hair, stunning good looks. Amazing eyes."

"Ah, Sirius and Mr. Lupin?"

I nodded, then turned to the Potions master who looked absolutely livid, he needed a shave, he was /not/ going to get a girl looking like that…wait what was I thinking?

"Erm, Prof. Dumbledore what are the side effects of this potion?"

He looked at me hard and I looked down to the ground again.

"I believe you will begin to take on some of the female attributes, feelings, and other such"

"—You mean that I'm going to become a girl forever!"

"Sirius."

I hissed at him, he was so annoying sometimes, like that guy, what was his name, in Hufflepuff. I shook my head.

"Mr., I mean Ms. Black, Ms. Lupin I would like you to stay in your dormitory for the time being, you may want to acquire some clothes."

I nodded my head and walked out, Sirius trailing behind. I spoke softly to Sirius.

"We need, like names so they don't know it's us."

He nodded, a sudden grin coming to his pretty face.

"I know, I can be Siria and you can be..erm—"

"Remosa?"

"Yeah, that will do."

We made it to the dormitory and walked in, causing a few looks to come our way. I walked over to Lily and her friends, hoping that she would have at least something in my size. I smiled and greeted her.

"Hey, my name is Remosa, I just got sorted in here and my parents kinda haven't brought my stuff yet. Do you have anything that I could borrow?"

She gave me a weird look and wrinkled her nose, but one of the others piped up. Oh no, it was that makeover girl.

"Here, I'm sure that I have something for the both of you."

She grabbed Sirius and I and dragged us into the girl's dormitory.

Half an Hour later we came back down into the common room, our legs had been shaved, along with various other parts of the makeover that had changed us. My hair was now curled; Sirius' was slightly wavy. He grinned, he knew that he looked great as a girl. He smiled and walked over to Lily and the other's while I was left somewhat alone in the middle of the room. That was until Peter came.

"Hey beautiful, you're new here aren't you?"

Sweet Merlin, he was chatting me up! I gave him my death glare and he scampered off, the common room now in peals of laughter. Lily came over to me and smiled, and then ushered me over to the rest of the group.

"So, Remosa, is that actually your real name?"

"No, it's actually Rianna."

"I thought so, well anyway, good job on scaring off Peter."

"Oh, it comes naturally."

She gave me another odd look, then turned to Sirius.

"So, you two are twins?"

"Yeah, I got the good looking side of the family."

My mouth shot open and tears welled in my eyes again.

"Are you saying I'm /ugly!"

I burst into tears and the group of girls, except Sirius came over to me. They shot angry looks at Sirius and all started making comments.

"Your /not/ ugly."

"I don't see where he got that comment from."

I sniffled a bit and then smiled at them and thanked them. Lily gave a glare to Sirius.

"Siria, how could you be that cruel to your sister?"

Sirius suddenly burst into tears and ran up the girl dorms and slammed the door behind him. I already knew that my mouth, like the rest of the others had dropped open. Lily turned to me.

"Is she always like this?"

"Oh yeah all the time."

I walked up into the girl's dormitory where two new beds had been put in. Sirius was already on one of them spread out like an eagle and defiantly asleep. I yawned and then said good night to the girls rummaging through my trunk, now filled with everything girly and pulled on a night gown before turning into bed. As I closed the curtains on my four poster I listened as the girls began to talk about tomorrow, what they were going to do. Really being female wasn't that bad after all, in fact it was quite a pleasant change from the tough macho life from being a male. I looked over to where behind the curtains Sirius' bed was supposed to be and wondered if he had been thinking the same thing. I breathed a sigh of happiness and fell asleep.


	4. Rotten Apples

Disclaimer: J.K.Rowling still owns the marvelous Harry Potter Universe, and I have just found out that I own this Fanfic.

Summery: Sirius and Remus have drunk a gender-changing potion and are now stuck as girls. Will they be able to cope with mood swings, a crush and a rotten apple?

September 3rd: I woke up, the sounds of tittering came to my ears, no snoring. I yawned softly and got up, my eyes turning to the clock 7: 00 am. I slept for a whole hour longer! I pulled the curtains from my four poster bed and looked around. Why was I in the girl's dormitory? I looked down. I WAS A FEMALE! I screamed at the top of my lungs and 6 different, very female faces peered out at me. Lily spoke up.

"What's wrong Siria?"

Siria? That wasn't my name! I looked around almost in tears at the others. Wait, why was I in tears. Then I remembered that stupid potion. I cursed and grumbled as I spotted a trunk at the end of my bed and picked out a few random articles of clothing before going into the bathroom to get changed. I looked in the mirror like he always did every morning.

"By Merlin, I'm still sexy!"

"You tell yourself that Sirius."

I turned around and beamed at the female version of Remus. I turned back to the mirror and put a hand through my hair. It stopped; I HAD A TANGLE IN IT! I poked my head out the door.

"Any of you gals got a brush I could use?"

Someone threw a hairbrush at me and I caught it before running back in attacking the knot viciously. Remus had his jaw hanging open again. I whined.

"Just because I don't have perfect hair like you?"

"Hello, my hair is horrible compared to yours."

"Awww, your too sweet."

We both turned to the mirror, picking over every little thing before we finally got dressed.

We walked down into the common room; me walking over to Lily and her friend Adrienne. I smiled at them and sat down, already in my space. What was I doing? Was my masculinity fading away already? I looked at Remus and gave him a look that clearly said. 'What is wrong with us, why are we turning into such girls.' And he turned and gave me a look that said. 'Sirius you idiot we are girls if you haven't noticed ever since we took that potion.' I returned the look that said. 'Good point.' A sudden presence loomed over me and I looked up. It was James, thank Merlin.

"JAMES! It's me, look see?"

He gave me an odd look; Remus just sat to the side smiling to himself.

"Erm, how do you know my name, and who are you?"

I tapped my foot against the ground impatiently and scowled. I waved my hand in front of his face.

"Hello, earth to Prongs, it's Sirius."

"Finally, a girl with a sense of humor, I like you."

He leant in a whispered in my ear.

"Meet me at the astronomy tower at 12, we can get to know each other better then."

My eyes opened wide in shock, my best friend just asked me out on a date! I turned to Remus who had exactly the same expression on his face. That was when I brought my hand up and slapped him as hard as we could.

"That was in so many ways wrong Prongs. This is Sirius you're talking you stupid git. Remember how we went into the"

A hand clapped over my mouth and Remus hissed into my ear.

"Ig bay in oog bay."

I gave him a weird look and then he removed his hand.

"Remus, if that was pig Latin, I'm a dog."

"You have never spoken truer words."

James looked at us and dragged us off to the corner of the room.

"Merlin, is that really you Sirius?"

"No, I'm actually the Queen of Sheba."

"Really, why didn't you ever tell me that?"

"I was joking around James."

"Can I have your autograph?"

"Do you want me to slap you again?"

"No, I'll. Shut up now."

"Good boy."

James turned to Remus and looked at him with curiosity. I scowled and poked him in the ribs.

"Stop checking Remus out James, it's disturbing."

Remus nodded hurriedly and looked at him, his amber eyes looking disgusted already.

"I mean, no offence James, but I'm a man, although I don't look like it."

James winced and sat down, then Remus and I took a seat on the floor and looked up at him.

"So, do you guys want to tell me why you are looking very female?"

"We added to much of the mandrake root, now we are stuck in this form for Merlin knows how long."

"Ah, that would explain it, so Padfoot, Moony. Think you could convince Evans to go out with me?"

"No."

"Fine."

I smiled and Remus and I got up. We walked back over to Lily and her group. We took a seat on either side of Lily, me next to Adrienne, Remus next to Melissa. We pulled Lily's book closer to us and I made a noise.

"A romance novel?"

"Yes Siria."

I made another face and pulled one of the transfiguration books towards me. As I settled into reading a rotten apple sailed through the window and went down Remus' shirt, next second was complete raucous. Remus leapt up screaming at the top of his lungs trying to get it out, one of the guys offered to get it and was promptly slapped across the face by Lily. After we finally managed to get it out Remus ran to the window and looked out.

"I'LL GET YOU FOR THAT SNAPE!"

Remus actually shook his fist out the window as he yelled at Snivelly. I half expected a curse to come flying up and to hit him. I smiled as he came back in and grumbled a sour look covering his placid features. He looked at me, glared and I rolled my eyes before turning into my book again. I needed to find a book on gender-changing potions and find out what the other side effects were. I looked at Remus and nudged him hard in the ribs to get his attention away from plaiting Lily's red hair.

"Oi, Rem—Rianna, want to come to the library with me?"

"Hmmm, oh yeah sure."

He got up and then I shut the book and stood up. We waved goodbye to our fellow girls, I mean, goodbye to the girls and walked out the portrait hole.

We walked out and down into the corridor, following Remus' route to the library. We got some strange look, and some double glances, and then we finally made it to the library, but as we walked in we encountered Snape. Remus went from docile to angry female in five.

"YOU LITTLE ROTTEN APPLE THROWING APE!"

I had to admit Remmy being ticked off at Snape was brilliant. Unfortunately Snape thought otherwise. He backed away slowly from him and pulled out his wand, I drew out mine and then the librarian came past.

"Mr. Snape, you girls OUT OF THE LIBRARY!"

We all scurried out of Madame Pince's reach and ran into an adjacent corridor. I leant against the wall and laughed till my sides hurt.

"That…was…hilarious."

"Thankyou for being so kind."

"You do know that now we are going to have to steal James' invisibility cloak and sneak in."

"Yep. And payback Snape for the apple."

"Most definitely."


	5. Snape's love

_**Disclaimer: I was ever so surprised when I found out that I owned the fanfic. J.K.Rowling it seems has placed her bright blue flag on the Harry Potter Universe and owns it.**_

_Summery: The rotten Apple. It is amazing how these things can trigger such Mood Swings. Anyway will they find the book they are looking for, why is Snape following Sirius? Why is Remus so obsessed over the apple?_

I walked up next to Sirius, we had pinched the invisibility cloak before we left the common room. It was dark, the eerie quiet disturbing me and the looming portraits somehow sneering in their sleep as they watched from their place on the wall. A cold breeze slithered through from the windows, Goosebumps rippling across my flesh and I shivered. I got a kick in the shin. Tears welled in my eyes as I looked at the offender and poked him hard in the arm. I hissed under my breath.

"Stop kicking me, it's not very nice you know. Just because I'm more sensitive then you'll ever be"

He kicked me again and stopped dead in his tracks. I looked up from my lecture and stared as well. Snape was walking past, wand in his hand and looking very suspicious. I glared hard, my legs moving without my authorization, but right now I didn't give an owls hoot about it. As I moved forward, pink bunny slippers tapping softly against the ground the invisibility cloak slid of Sirius exposing him to the world. I quickly pulled the transparent cloak around me tighter, breathing hard as Snape turned and neared him. Sirius just smiled and leant against the wall seductively, motioning for him to come closer.

"Severus, do you know how /long/ I've been waiting."

He purred, and Snape quickened his pace before he was practically nose to nose with Sirius. He gave a grin and placed an arm on the wall trapping Sirius in he leant in closer and then Sirius gave the thumbs up. Revenge time. I walked over to him and then tapped him on the shoulder so he turned around and stared at the seemingly empty corridor before turning back to Sirius and giving another grin. I fished around in my pocket, but not for my wand, I was searching for something else. I finally felt my fingers clasp around something soft and squishy. I wrinkled my nose in disgust but I had to do it, for my honor. I pulled out the offending fruit and tapped Snape on the shoulder again, he stood bolt upright and looked around the corridor, and I had my chance. As quick as lightening I grabbed the front of Snapes cloak and shoved the rotten apple down it before letting go and making him trip over. He screamed like a girl, and Sirius gave an apologetic grin.

"I don't kiss on a first date."

He slid back under the cloak and we continued on our path through the corridors to find the library. I was listening hard for any signs of pursuit before turning to Sirius again.

"What was /that!"

He shrugged and smiled as we finally got to the looming presence of my shrine.

It was dark in the library, scarier than I remembered. Shadows were at every corner, and book rustled in their shelves. I could hear whispers in the darkness, but that turned out to be Sirius' doing. I glared at him and huddled closer to his body, as I nearly screamed as we turned the corner had Sirius not shoved a handkerchief in my mouth. I nodded to him and took it out, and then we cautiously placed our backs to the shelf and sidled along, narrowly missing being found by Mrs. Norris. I gave a sigh of relief and we took the cloak off, Sirius turned to me.

"Are you sure we are in the right section?"

"Sirius, you're looking at the Goddess of the Library, we're in the right section."

He nodded and we took opposite shelves, scanning through the books and taking down the one's we thought were likely in helping us. We walked over to one of the tables and plunked the books down on the table and sat down to browse through them.

"Ewww, this one has the side effects of what happens if you're stuck as a man after drinking a potion."

"Pleasant, oh, I found it."

"And I have found you my love, my precioussssss."

I looked at Sirius and he shrugged, then his eyes widened and we both looked across. What we saw would scar the eyes forever. I went a pale shade of ghost white, Sirius went puke green. He gave a small smile to Snape and then turned to me and muttered something under his breath. I nodded and picked up the book before sliding under the cloak. I gave Sirius a sympathetic look as I left. I could swear I heard him scream in fright as Snape neared him.

I walked quickly up the stairs, jumping the trick step and speeding as quickly as I could down the corridors in my attempt to avoid being caught by Mrs. Norris. I skidded down a turn and came to a stop outside a tapestry and muttered a password. I slipped in just in time; she passed the tapestry and meowed loudly to get Filch's attention. I continued on, making sure to keep my noise level down and slinked out of the other side of the tunnel. As I came into view of the Fat Lady she looked around and then frowned as I took off the cloak, taking a seat at my favorite table and propping the book up. I flicked through the pages before finally resorting to the content page.

1) A guide to changing Genders. (Potions master should have read this before making us do it.)

2) Changing Genders and You. (Oook, I'll. Just skip that chapter all together.)

3) Side effects of Changing Gender (Oh, Sirius is so not going to like this.)

I browsed through the book, marking important paragraphs and tips. One excerpt I didn't think Sirius would like.

"_After taking a gender changing potion, many wizards and witches have found that they do not wish to change gender back again. In most cases some Auroras get very confused about what they are and stop doing their job. They become moody and restless and begin developing attractions for either their target or an enemy if the potion is made at school."_

Oh joy. Wait, I found something on mood swings.

_"A strong camomile tea is suggest to help prevent mood swings. It stops certain parts of the brain from sending messages related to mood. Drooling may occur. Chocolate also helps sooth Mood swings and most people use it instead. Not recommended for long time usage._

NOT RECOMMENDED FOR LONG TIME USAGE!

I grumbled angrily as I continued through the book, watching the clock every so often until Lily came down and sat next to me. She had a thoughtful expression on her face as she looked at the title on the spine of the book.

"A gender changing book?'

"Oh, I heard about the potion that you guys made and thought I should at least read up on it. You know just incase it pops up in a test, I mean I don't want to fail anything and then not get into the job I want."

"You sound pretty studious."

"Oh, I am believe me."

We spent the next few hours writing down notes of the side effects until the portrait hole opened and Sirius came in, looking like he had seen the apocalypse.

"Siria, are you all right?"

Lily and I asked him at the same time, he looked like he had taken a very long shower and then dried his hair with a towel to thoroughly. He opened his mouth once or twice like a goldfish and then sat on my lap as he burst into tears. I patted his arm as Lily gave him a hug.

"Siria, it's ok, what happened?"

"Snape, it, it was horrible."

I shuddered just thinking about what had happened to him, and then he looked at me and scowled his usual moody Sirius self back to normal.

"NOT like that Rianna. We took a moonlight stroll around the grounds while I interrogated him on everything that he knew about the Marauders. You'd be surprised about how much information he collected on them."

My mouth dropped open. I looked at him strangely and then folded my arms and huffed. It wasn't fair.

"Then why did it sound like you died?"

"Because it started raining outside."

"Oh."

Rain, how horrible, it was so bad for our hair. I ran a hand through my own hair, and then gave him a small smile as I pulled out from my robes a hairbrush.

"Here you go Hun."

His eyes lit up as he saw the hairbrush and snatched it from my hands immediately brushing his hair like crazy until it ran through like it was just air. I yawned loudly, and placed a hand over my mouth. Sirius got off me and we walked up the stairs into the girl's dormitory. We could hear the rain now, splattering against the window, cascading off the tiles of the castle roof. I sighed and pulled the red curtains across my bed bidding the girl's goodnight and slipping under the warm covers and hugging a pillow to my body. Then I rolled over.

There was a rotten apple in my bed. Someone was going to pay.


	6. Sirius' Diary

* * *

Sirius: I always wondered if I would ever get my usual thoughts back, even though I may be stuck in this female body forever…

* * *

_Dear Beloved Diary:_

_Today I woke up, brushed my hair, brushed my teeth…_

_I Sirius Black, refuse to continue writing in this durned book! Wait, what am I saying, I'm sorry my little snoogams book!_

_Ack, See, SEE! From now on, I'm going to show when I'm female and when I'm normal._

You were never normal Sirius.

**Get out of my diary Remus!**

Fine, grouchy pants.

**I'm allowed to be grouchy, now go away.**

_Awwww, no come back, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it!

* * *

_

**Pft, anyway. Today was just like normal, except for a few things that I will write down in this very personal tome.**

**Dear Ungrateful Diary.**

**Today I did all of the things above…**

**It was like usual I woke up, annoyed Remus, got dressed into some clothes and walked down to the Great Hall for breakfast. As I sat down with James and Peter, the latter still not believing that Remus was Remus and not that girl's name he stuck himself with. Anyway, I sat next to James, whom of which was unaccustomed to having beautiful women sit next to him.**

_That sounded so vain._

**Shut. Up. This is my section.**

**Where was I?**

**Oh yes, I was sitting next to James, drawing quite a lot of attention to myself when Remus decided to grace his annoying presence next to me. He looked tired as usual and shot a worried look at Peter before turning to James and me.**

"**Is it me, or is Peter unusually attached to me?"**

**James piped up from his eggs on toast.**

"**No, he has a crush on your female form Remmy, didn't you know?"**

**Remus made a face, before poking his egg and trying to avoid Peters gaze. I shook my head before noticing someone /also/ who's gaze was attached to me. My arch nemesis. Snape.**

_I personally think it's cute.._

**I personally wish you would go away.**

**_Er, your such a sook, jeez no wonder no one likes you._**

**What does that mean?**

**_Never mind._**

**Right, so where was I again? Snape, he was gazing at me with his dark eyes, his greasy hair slicked back like some 70's hairstyle. I don't even want to try to remember the night where we went on the moonlit stroll.**

**_That's where I come in love._**

**_Snape and me-a song that explains us._**

**Don't you dare start singing in my diary.**

_**Spoil sport.**_

**Ack, stop writing in my Diary!**

**_If you recall, it's our Diary._**

**_Snape and me, yes a forbidden love that can never come true, yet that stroll in the moonlight made me think about whether I should really go back to being the arrogant brat I used to be…Don't you even think about butting in Mister._**

**_I managed to get him to tell me his true feelings for me, and his opinion on how the Marauders could change, it was very inspirational._**

**For a slimy git.**

_**Go away Sirius!**_

**_Anyway, after about an hour or so of our little get together, it began to rain. The horrors of the wetness on my hair! So we ran under the cover of an overhanging roof and there we…._**

**Did not kiss.**

_**Spoil sport. Anyway, Sirius caught me at the most inconvenient moment and chose to excuse himself from Snape and walked back to the GCR, where we found Rianna.**_

**Remus.**

**_Whatever. So I ended up coming into the GCR and Rianna lent me a brush before we both went to bed with that awful girl Lillith or what's her name._**

**Lily, now I think I may be her friend, just to tick you off.**

**_Meanie, That's when I woke up this morning and started this lovely day._**

**Speak for yourself, It was terrible. Stupid Snivelly.

* * *

**

**Today was the usual boring day, after I had my discussion with James about turning back into a male. We had double potions first, horror of horrors. I think the potions master made us do that potion on purpose just to make me pay for being such an excellent student. I collected my bags and went into the hall, as I had finished my breakfast first, like usual. I was almost happily bouncing down the corridor when Snape intercepted me. He pulled on my elbow and whispered in my ear. **

"Meet me under the large oak tree at break."

**Of course I gave him a look of disgust before /she/ took over and smiled happily, replying in her evil cheery voice.**

"**Of course ickle Sevvie, anything for you."**

**If I was him, I would have run away screaming out for the end of the world. **


End file.

Harry Potter, Humor