Raven Cycle It's Not Like You

Ronan's voice is hard. "Parrish, I need my car."

Adam scoots out from underneath the BMW, his palms covered in grease. Wiping his face with the back of his hand, Adam stands up, surveying the progress. Tools lie scattered everywhere, and a stray cat is sprawled out in the sun, a few feet away.

"Ronan, I don't know if it's ready yet."

Ronan shakes his head. "You don't understand. I need it now."

Adam sighs. "What for?"

"I'm going to meet Gansey and Blue-" he cuts himself off as Adam's eyes widen.

"Without me?" His voice is brittle, steely.

"It's not like that," Ronan protests, a sick feeling rising in his gut.

"Clearly. I'll just stay at Monmouth with Noah." Adam turns his back on him, refusing to say another word. Ronan realizes now that he's temporarily ruined whatever thin line was between them, and he doesn't know if Adam will forgive him. Adam is sensitive, delicate, and Ronan has forgotten, just for a moment. But then he gets into the car, slams the door, and lets the engine roar to life.

Ronan can feel Adam's eyes on him as he leaves, hurt and disappointed. He chooses not to glance back in the rear view mirror, knowing that Adam will be collecting his tools and retuning to his flat above St. Agnes.

He tries not to think about the look on Adam's face as he drives to Nino's, but the picture keeps swimming to the front of his head, no matter how many times Ronan pushes it away. He is meeting Gansey and Blue to discuss Blue's college, for God sake, because Gansey wants to pry, and Blue lets him. Of course Adam has a right to be there, but Gansey only asked Ronan to come. He doesn't know why; maybe something to do with money. That, Ronan thinks, would make a lot of sense.

He pulls up in the parking lot at the back of the diner, taking care to close the door a bit more gently this time. He doesn't want to ruin his car, especially not after Adam just repaired it. He storms inside, the little bell tinkling violently as he does so, and heads to the booth where Blue and Gansey are sitting.

"Ronan." Gansey's voice is curt. "There's no need to act like that."

"Is it Adam?" Blue crosses her arms. "I told Dick here that he should've been included, but he refused."

Gansey frowns. "Jane." She rolls her eyes.

"It's true."

Ronan smirks, the sharp, angled corners of his mouth curving up ever so slightly. "Anyway, what are we even here for?"

Blue shrugs. "Honestly, it's none of your business. Either of you. But Gansey insisted, I guess, and I don't have to work this afternoon."

"If you don't need me, I've gotta talk to Adam." That is a lie. Going to see Adam is the last thing Ronan would do right now. He's going to the Barns. Ronan hasn't been there in a few days, which, as far as he's concerned, is much too long.

Ronan's eyes can't stay focused on the road as he drives. His mind keeps wandering, to Cabeswater, to his mother, to Adam. To all of the fights they've ever had. To all of the times Adam has told him to fuck off, to all of the times Adam has ever smiled at him. He loves Adam's smile. He loves everything about Adam, truth be told.

So it is no surprise when, instead of arriving at the Barns, Ronan finds himself at St. Agnes.

He would be nervous to be here, anxious even, if he were anyone else, but nervous isn't an adjective that describes Ronan. It is with confidence that he strides up to Adam's apartment and knocks on the door, three times, loud.

"What do you want?" The door creaks open, just a little bit.

"Jesus, Parrish, let me in," Ronan demands, wedging his way inside. He stands inside the little room, the roof so low that he has to duck, but the windows wide open and sunlight streaming in.

"What do you want?" Adam asks again, his voice flat.

Ronan sighs, clearly aggravated. "I'm sorry, okay?"

"It's not like you to apologize," Adam comments.

"No," he agrees.

Adam continues, "it's also not like you to do something like that to me." They both know that he is referencing the events of earlier that afternoon. "I mean, I expected this of Gansey, and maybe even Blue, but never you."

Ronan only stares at him, shifting his feet as he stands in the doorway.

"Are you gonna say something?" Adam's Henrietta accent is slipping through his façade of elegance, and Ronan can tell. But he still doesn't say a word. Adam sighs and lies back on his bed, rubbing a hand through his brown hair and sighing deeply. Upon realizing that Ronan isn't going anywhere, he pulls him inside and slams the door. They sit in silence for a bit, watching particles of dust float through the air, illuminated by beams of sunlight, until Adam finally speaks.

"You're forgiven, okay?"

Ronan smiles, turning his face away from Adam so he can't tell. His voice is rough when he replies, "good."

"Is the BMW fixed?"

He nods, once. "Thank you."

"It's the least I could do, I guess."

Ronan turns sharply, his gaze piercing Adam's. "For what?"

Adam makes a vague, frustrated gesture. "I don't know."

"Okay, Parrish. I should get going," he replies, although reluctant to leave the Adam alone in the apartment, albeit bright and cozy.

"See you later. Are we still...on for tonight?"

"What's tonight?" Ronan asks, confused.

"Jesus, Ronan, it's Blue's birthday tomorrow. Are you honestly telling me you don't remember?" Adam rolls his eyes.

He blinks, several times. "What do you think?"

Adam laughs, and it's a happy laugh, light and cheerful, glancing at his watch. "I mean, if you want, you could come with me. We'd be leaving in a few hours, anyway, and I don't have anything else to do."

Ronan hesitates. "I was going to visit the Barns."

"Oh, well, you're not going alone," he insists, jumping up and pushing Ronan through the door. Ronan glares at him, but doesn't protest. Maybe he's not too upset about Adam tagging along. He has a way of seeing Ronan like no one else can; neither Gansey nor Blue nor Noah can tell how he feels about the Barns. It scares Ronan to go back there sometimes. Too many memories are brought back, too many experiences that he doesn't want to relive. Perhaps Adam will fend them off, even if it's only for a little while.

"You know, this isn't like you either," Adam remarks as they head outside to the car.

"Shut up, Parrish," he snorts, starting the car. "I'm surprised you even forgave me in the first place."

As the engine roars to life, the murder squash song begins playing. "One squash, two squash-"

"FUCK!" Adam yells, leaping to turn it off. "You know, I'm not even going to ask what this is doing in your stereo.

Ronan grins wickedly as Adam rubs his eyes, yawning. "Tired?"

"You have no idea."

He feels a prick of sympathy for Adam, pitying the fact that he has to work _all the time_ and still struggles to live like this. Then again, he admires the way he won't give into Gansey's desire for Adam to live at Monmouth, to accept his money like he was a charity case. But hasn't Ronan treated him the same way?

They arrive at the Barns in silence. It is without a word that Ronan brushes past the house and onto the property behind it, like he is searching for something, anything. Adam follows him without question, which he appreciates, until they spot Declan, lying in a pool of his own blood by a grove of trees. Ronan's face goes pale, he stumbles, mutters something incoherent, walks away from the sight. Adam's eyes go wide and he grabs Ronan's arm, restraining him from leaving.

"What happened?" He demands.

Ronan shakes his head, his voice cracking. "He's not real. I dreamed this."

"You dreamed your dead brother? Why would you do that?" Adam asks, disbelieving.

"I've told you before," he sighs. "Accidents happen. I didn't mean to...but we have to move his body."

"Ronan, he's your _brother_. We can't just get rid of his body like we did to the night horrors."

"We have to." His voice is quiet, deadly, and there is something serious hidden between the lines. "Matt can't find this. Ever. He can't know."

Understanding dawns upon Adam. "Oh." He steps closer to Ronan, just one, tiny step, but it speaks more than any words could have. Ronan doesn't move, so he takes another step. And then another, until they are staring into each other's eyes, inches away.

"Adam," he breathes, closing his eyes. Adam leans forward, and suddenly they are kissing.

Ronan is the first to pull away, smiling against Adam's mouth, before kissing him again. And again. He brings up a hand to wrap it in Adam's hair, and this time it is Adam who smiles, softly, gently.

"We're going to be late for dinner," Ronan notes.

"Screw that," Adam replies, kissing him lightly on the lips.

He laughs. "Parrish, I'm astonished. It's not like you."


End file.

Raven Cycle, Hurt-Comfort, Romance