Naruto 1. Megami

**_A/N: With the amount of stories I keep putting in my head, I feel like I'm NeonZangetsu—so many ideas, and too few completed stories. In any case, this is an experiment…for some reason, more people are reviewing my Naruto-stories more than they do my Yuffentines. Is this some sort of trend where my stories are lost in a sea of Yuffentines? Anyway, this is a different take on "The First Male Nin" by NightmaresAroundWinter, and is inspired by "Mokusei: Will of Fire" by Bonesboy15. As usual, your reviews will determine if this is a story I should continue, so do read and review would you kindly?_**

…

{Play: "Bad Situation" by Toshiro Masuda}

[Outskirts of Training Ground 44—October 13, 10:43 PM…]

She'd seen many things in her long life, some things significant, and others more mundane: the creation of the world by her sister tree, her subjugation and sealing by the Rikudō Sennin, the argument of her daughters, and even the great battle between Senju Hashirama and Uchiha Madara. She had also recently seen the unprecedented—the Bijū Kurama was attacking the village of Konohagakure no Sato. Oh she'd seen the events leading up to the beast's release, and she wasn't surprised that the bitch was mind-controlled this easily…if you were lucky and your timing was right with the Sharingan, you could mind-control that nine-tailed hussy (which just so happened to be easy to do the first time because she was in heat). It saddened her that this had to happen because Uzumaki Kushina, a girl who visited her often after the day she came from Uzugakure no Sato, had died to protect her own seedling.

She happened to like Kushina-chan a lot, even having silent conversations with her whenever she visited her neck of the woods—the Jinchūriki of that slutty fox Kurama was actually an interesting girl, very energetic and respectful (it was unknown if the girl was aware that she was talking to a shinboku). Megami also agreed with her choice on life-partners—Namikaze Mina was a girl that agreed with Hashirama-chan's Will of Fire and, were she human, a good lover. It really touched her heart when parents would protect their seedlings from certain death, and it was exceptionally so in the case of those two. Because of her respect for Mina-chan and her love of Kushina-chan, Megami silently promised to uphold the former's request to see their son Naruto as a hero.

Unfortunately, human nature had not surprised the ancient cedar the slightest bit for the past millennia; she knew that the stupid humans of this village outnumbered the intelligent ones. She was also aware of the corruption that had been rotting away in the heart of the village she once loved; that Hashirama-chan and Tobirama-chan had given their lives to defend against the likes of skanky, power-hungry hags like Madara-hentai. Megami watched through the trees planted in the village as young Uzumaki Naruto was chased around by an ignorant mob from his home in the red light district to the Shi no Mori as part of their 'fox hunts'. In her eyes, their 'beloved Yondaime Hokage" was spinning in her grave at this outrage as she watched; and yet, it was something she'd been waiting for seven years to happen, ever since Hiromi-baka's ill-planned decision to tell the ignorant populace that Naruto-kun held that whore in his gut. Granted, she didn't want Naruto to come to the training ground in this fashion, but who was she to question the will of the divine—silent as they tended to be these days?

Megami simply waited and watched as Naruto managed to climb the fence and get to the other side before running into the forest. Perfect! "Don't bother chasing it in there," said a man, obviously the leader of this year's mob, "that there is the Shi no Mori…kunoichi go there for training. That thing is as good as dead now that he's run in there, but to make sure the job is taken care of, I have some friends who are willing to go in there to make sure that the demon-brat dies tonight!"

Cheers had erupted from the crowd as people heard this. Megami could only smile to herself as she saw the Hokage arrive, causing the celebratory air of the mob to die down at her next words. "ANBU, arrest everyone in this crowd and take them to Ibuki!" she shouted, "Inu and Hebi, I want you take a team to the training ground to find Naruto…if you find the kunoichi on the take, kill them on sight in as messy a manner as you like. Neko and Tora, I want the two of you to make sure that Mishima Gidō does not escape; I will deal with him shortly!"

The crowd then began to disperse in an attempt to avoid getting arrested and taken to Morino Ibuki. Meanwhile, Inu and Hebi organized a team of ANBU with them to commence the search for Naruto, with all the clan heads sans Uchiha Fukuko volunteering to help track the boy down before they ran into the forest, sending silent prayers to whatever deity would listen for Naruto's safety. It was at this point that Megami watched as Mishima Gidō held his head up high in arrogance even while being detained by the ANBU. "I did what you were too cowardly to do, Hokage-sama," he said, venom lacing his tone, "if you want to kill me for your own faults, then do it! I'm ready! I've done my work in avenging my family, my business, and everyone else who was lost because of the demon that you are too afraid to kill!"

"Kill you?" asked Hiromi, a mocking tone in her voice, "No, I'm not going to kill you. Not when I should be rewarding you for your **_heroics_**, Councilman Mishima. In fact, you've done such a good job that I think I should be rewarding you for your…**_initiative_** in doing what I was **_too cowardly_** to do—starting with not killing you."

This left Gidō gob-smacked upon hearing that last sentence. The Hokage was going to reward him for killing the demon-brat? What the hell was going on here? "I'm pretty sure you're wondering what your reward is," continued Hiromi, a sinister smile creasing the corners of her mouth, "after all, it's very certain that Shimura-fujin is a very lonely woman after I broke up with her long ago, and I have no doubt that she would love to know that you agreed to take her out on a **_date_**…after telling her about your **_showing me the error of my ways_**, of course."

Now this really left Gidō pale with fear as all life left his body. While in terms of appearance, Shimura Sango was a crippled, elderly woman that had aged quite well, with a cold and serious aura about her that both enchanted and terrified men and women alike (in short, she was a cougar); that was all a façade to anybody that crossed her in any way…truth be told, among the few people thus far that had escaped the woman's wrath aside from the little monster for some reason was the Hokage herself, and that was because it was a well-known fact that she was once her girlfriend (until the both of them competed for the Hokage hat) and was still on speaking terms with her. That was even worse than getting punished by the Hokage herself! "Buta, Ushi," barked Hiromi, turning his attention to the two ANBU restraining the terrified councilman, "make sure the **_esteemed councilman_** is not late for his date, and be sure to tell Shimura-fūjin exactly what he did."

Watching as the two ANBU dragged away the limp form of Mishima Gidō, Hiromi could not help but wonder as to what her ex would do to the arrogant fool, but decided against it…whenever Shimura Sango decided to take revenge, it was never pleasant. Although, for some reason, he could not help but wonder as to what she had on mind—the Sango she knew would not do anything on a whim, much less for a little boy she barely knew, and so it was no surprise that Hiromi had suspicions of ulterior motives on the part of her former lover when she was counted among those who voted against Naruto's execution. Come to think of it, she was rarely ever seen in public, and yet here she was treating Naruto as if he were a wayward grandchild whenever she went out for her daily walks in the park. And it didn't help detract any suspicion from her when it was one of her ROOT operatives that came and informed her of the mob tonight. Yes, something was definitely wrong with this picture, and Hiromi intended to find out what it was…but now was not the time, and so she'd have time to question Sango later.

As she turned her attention back to the forest, the Sandaime Hokage prayed to any deity listening that Naruto would survive this night…

…

{Play: "Evil" by Toshiro Masuda}

[Somewhere in the Shi no Mori]

He'd been running for the past hour or so, but Naruto knew he'd been pursued by kunoichi. They were probably among the bad ones, but he was so busy on making his escape that didn't recognize any of the ones who were chasing him. Thankfully, he knew he could keep running all night long—assuming of course the kunoichi didn't throw…oh shit! He spoke too soon! He felt the pain of multiple kunai and shuriken piercing his legs!

"Going somewhere demon?" asked a voice that Naruto most definitely didn't want to hear, "I don't think so! You're going to pay for all the people you've killed on that day!"

Naruto looked upwards to see himself surrounded on all sides. Unfortunately, he could only recognize one face among the kunoichi that were about to kill him—it was the kunoichi with a disgusted sneer on her face. She just so happened to be an assistant to the orphanage matron that kicked him out. There was no way out…if he asked again why they did this they would've beaten him worse. "Not so tough are you demon?"

"Enough talk, let's just kill him and be done with it so that we have something to **_really_** celebrate!"

The kunoichi that spoke had earned nods of approval from her colleagues, as they all drew their kunai—ready to stab him to death. "It's really a shame," taunted a kunoichi with a sadistic grin on her face, licking her lips hungrily, "he looks so adorable, that I'd want to rape him to death instead."

"There are plenty of man-whores out there for you to torture Abi," shot another kunoichi, "what the hell would you want with a demon…"

"No, she has a point Naoto," interrupted the kunoichi from the orphanage, "it's probably better if we do this—as much as I hate to admit it, that terrified look on his face is getting me hot and bothered. Why not make him useless in sex while we're at it?"

"Ugh! Fine, but make it quick you horny…GAH!"

At this point, Naruto blacked out and fainted…the deaths of the kunoichi were so quick that it finally overloaded his mind. When it was certain that the coast was clear, and that the young jinchūriki was not going anywhere, a naked woman stepped out of the shadows to inspect her quarry behind the curtain of her long, flowing, grass-green hair. This was most definitely not the way she wanted to meet Naruto; no, not at all…but then again, what did it matter how he came to her neck of the woods? He'd come, and that was all that mattered. All other thoughts pushed out, the naked woman put her strong-yet-delicate hands to work removing the kunai and shuriken embedded in the boy's legs before lifting him up in a bridal carry, and taking him away…

…

{Play: "Kaedesirabe-II" by Mamoru Samuragoch from "Onimusha"}

[Elsewhere in the Shi no Mori—fifteen minutes later…]

Inu and Hebi quickly leaped through the foliage…hoping that they were not too late in saving Naruto with Pakkun and a large number of the former's ninken leading the search. Their search party included Itachi, Kuma, Usagi, and Washi, along with the clan heads, all of whom were rather good trackers or would aid in adding an extra set of eyes. "You really think we're going to make it in time?" asked Hebi, briefly turning her attention to her colleague.

"I really hope we do," growled Inu, the rage shown in her heterochromic eyes behind her mask, "as much as I'd hate to admit it, those bastards got us good; waiting for the two of us to be out of town on a mission, distracting the Hokage with mountains of paperwork, attacking in the middle of the Kyūbi Festival where it's the loudest, there is no doubt that this was planned well. The only salvageable thing about this situation is that our mission was not that hard—and so we were able to get back quickly."

It was true—due to the amount of hatred leveled against the boy, among the only kunoichi that Sarutobi Hiromi could honestly trust with all her life (with kami-sama above as her witness) on his protection were Hebi and Inu…both of whom had taken in Naruto after he was kicked out of the orphanage nearly two years ago while playing with his friends Hibiki Tenten and Rock Lin on this very day. Granted, she could've picked any woman in the village to take care of him given his hidden importance to the village (due to his popularity with at least 85-90% of the village's women both civilian and kunoichi alike), but these two were among her most trusted. That and the two of them had personal reasons to protect the boy beyond being among the people that just plain loved him.

"Don't worry about it Hatake," reassured Tsume, running up next to them, "I'm pretty sure he's fine. We've just got to make sure we get to him before those bitches do."

"Out of curiosity, why are all the clan heads coming out to aid us?" asked Inu, conclusions being drawn prematurely in her head.

"Believe it or not, we were friends with Mina-sama and Kushina-sama when they were alive," answered Chiaki, keeping her normal deadpan expression, "like the majority of the clan heads, we all owe the boy's parents in one way or another. And besides, this is to return a favor to the boy—ever since he accidentally turned up in the Hyūga compound, things seem to be getting better in my family: Nori's outlook on life has improved, Hinata's confidence has been boosted, and Hanabi adores him."

Tsume chuckled. "Are those the only reasons? I'm pretty sure your youngest pup isn't the only one that adores him…last I saw of him in your compound, I'm pretty sure Hinata **_and_** Nori were looking at him the same way!" Now this elicited a blush from the closet-pervert she knew as her former-teammate. Seeing this opportunity to lighten the mood a bit, especially after watching Chiaki nearly trip over herself, Tsume decided to also add one more target to the list. "And I'm pretty sure your clan compound's not the only one he visited…was it Shizu?"

There was no change in Aburame Shizu's pace…but a cute, embarrassed red skin tone was all it took for her to confirm Tsume's claim. "I invited him to my compound after one of the supermarkets literally booted him out into the street. I had some of my kikaichū scare off a bunch of idiotic men that were about to stomp him to death. Apparently, he was trying to buy some sugar for a recipe he was going to try out, and so I gave him a small jar of our clan's honey as a sample so that he could buy from us later. Needless to say, when Chō invited us to her restaurant to try out a dish that Naruto made, I was floored. I can only assume that I'm not alone in wanting him to marry into my clan, now that you mention it."

"As much as I'd like to hear about everyone's encounters with Naruto-kun, I think we should get the troublesome mission done first," interrupted Nara Chikako, bringing everyone's attention back to the present, "and while we're on the subject of that dish he made, I take credit for that venison he used—who would've thought that a six-year-old could cook this well? I swear; if I can't get Shika-chan to marry him, then I'm pretty sure Yoshino wouldn't mind sharing him with me."

Pakkun stopped at an area with Kuromaru sniffing around at the area. "The trail of those bitches ends here," said the pug, continuing to sniff before turning to face his contract holder, "Kariya, it looks like a struggle took place here."

The kunoichi in the area began searching the scene, trying to determine exactly what happened here. "It looks like they finally cornered Naruto-kun here—likely pinning him down by hitting him in the legs with shuriken and kunai, and then they were killed," started Inu, inspecting the corpses around her starting with the limp body hanging above them, "we have someone who pulled up Kirishima Naoto into the trees before getting her neck snapped…" She then walked towards a patch of dirt where there were parallel lines in the ground. "…then we have someone who was dragged away in the direction of the river—likely the victim has drowned…" Her final destination however, was the pile of dirt that she nearly stepped on. Finding something odd about that pile of dirt, Inu activated her Sharingan eye from behind her mask, and began to give her report. "…and the final victim, whom I assume is Hachiya Abi, was pulled into the ground and buried alive in a manner similar to Doton: Shinjū Zanshū no Jutsu." Once she was done with her forensic analysis, Inu then turned her attention back to the kunoichi present. "Judging from the proximity of all these signs of struggle, I would estimate that this has all been done within five, maybe ten seconds apart from each other."

Kuma inspected the cause of death of one Kirishima Naoto—truth be told, one could tell that under the mask, she really hated the woman. She suspected that the bitch was once responsible for Naruto-kun getting thrown into a pack of wild dogs…it was lucky that both Kuma and Inuzuka Tsume had made it in time to save him; unfortunately, there was no proof to implicate that evil sow with what she did. The ANBU agent studied her subject closely: it looked as though she were dragged up into the tree-line by the neck using branches, and then said branches were used to snap her neck. "Inu, I have a suspicion that this forest is not as uninhabited as we thought," she began carefully, "Naoto had her neck snapped by those branches. Whomever it was that killed her used Mokuton…a much more potent version of Mokuton."

Upon hearing this, Inu turned her attention to Pakkun. "Do you still have Naruto-kun's scent trail?"

"No," answered the pug, no doubt frustrated in the lack of progress, "whomever it was that took Naruto away from here masked his scent. I'm picking up nothing but cedar all around."

"And besides, even if we did try to isolate that scent, it's like finding a needle in a haystack," added Kuromaru, "Whomever it was that was here before us undoubtedly has a major head-start over us."

A sigh of disappointment and self-loathing had escaped from both Hebi and Inu. They'd failed in their mission…but in a way, they were glad that they did fail. "It's no use tracking him down like this any further," began Inu, depression clear in her voice, "in a way though, I'm glad that Naruto-kun has been kidnapped—I only hope that his kidnapper would treat him well."

…

{Play: "Mononoke Hime" by Joe Hisaishi from "Princess Mononoke"}

[Somewhere in the Shi no Mori—morning…]

Naruto awoke to the sunlight assaulting his eyes. As he took in his surroundings, he realized that he was in a clearing within the forest, having laid upon a bed of leaves with all his wounds having been sealed up. What immediately caught his eye was the massive tree in front of him. It was so large that he wondered immediately as to the identity of the one that planted it here, as well as the amount of nutrients in the soil for it to have grown so large. Other details he managed to make out of the tree were the insane amount of seals inscribed upon its bark…it seemed to add an archaic sense of beauty to the ancient tree.

"You like what you see?" asked a feminine voice, approaching from around the tree. Naruto saw that its owner was a mid-tone olive-skinned beauty with long moss-colored waist-length hair and emerald eyes. He could only blush as the woman also happened to be naked as a newborn baby, revealing every well-proportioned curve that seemed to emphasize and amplify her beauty; bringing out the inner beauty shown by her loving smile. "It is said that this tree predates the Rikudō Sennin herself…and that Senju Hashirama had once come here to perfect the Mokuton she'd invented."

"W-who are you?" stuttered Naruto, still afraid of the woman before him.

The beauty came to a stop in front of him, that loving grin still on her face. "There's no need to be afraid Naruto-kun," she said, surprising him that she knew his name in the first place, "nobody's going to hurt you here…not as long as I breathe. As to what you may call me, I am Megami—a tree spirit if you will. My true body is the tree in front of your eyes."

He could not believe it, how could this woman be a tree-spirit? Naruto didn't see any bark covering her skin, and her hair was not made of leaves. But one question popped into the forefront of his mind: "How did you know who I am?"

Megami's chuckle spoke volumes of her amusement. "Being a tree as old as I am, I've seen many things happen: Hashirama-chan's battle with that whore Madara, Hiromi-baka's term as Sandaime Hokage, and even the circumstances of your birth. Hence why I know your name…because I've been watching everything—but most importantly, I've been watching you. Your willpower seems to be stronger than even your mothers could have foreseen."

This tree was watching everything? If so then he may as well… "You have questions, and I will answer them in time," began Megami, interrupting Naruto's train of thought, "but before I do, I have a request to ask of you."

Naruto remained silent…taking this as a cue to go on, Megami opened the palm of her hand. Once done, a small spherical object started growing out from the middle of her hand. "This seed requires that it be planted in a living body. Whether it is eaten or planted in your bloodstream, it will grow quickly on your chakra pathways. This is the only way I can reproduce—and by doing this you'll become my son. However, before you take this seed within your body, I must caution you that either way, there's no turning back. If it accepts you, then you will become one with the tree and I shall teach you to wield its power as the guardian of the forest."

"And if it doesn't?"

Her face had turned very sorrowful. She'd done this multiple times, and they all ended in failure—and she knew it. But Megami wanted to make sure Naruto knew the consequences of what he was about to do. "If the seed rejects you, then you'll simply become another tree in the forest. I've given other people my seed, hoping that one day someone will be accepted by it, and my heart's been broken because many men and women that have found me and that I have loved without question, have been devoured by that seed. Do you want to do this Naruto-kun?"

{Play: "Jinchūriki" by Takanashi Yasuharu}

The boy sat down to think long and hard about this. Did he really want to do this? Did he have anything to lose? Naruto then thought back to all the women that treated him well…of Inu and Hebi always making sure he was safe; of Chiaki-sama's hospitality; Sango-sama's grandmotherly love; so many memories that he had both good and bad and memories he wanted to make. But then again, what had he done to deserve such kindness? How did he repay them? How could he repay them? It was at this moment that he had made up his mind—guardian of the forest or not, he would work to repay the ones who treated him well. With resolution empowering his hand, Naruto took the seed from Megami-sama's hand graciously before he quickly popped it into his mouth. A single swallow was all it took to seal his fate—and the last thing he would remember of that moment was the pain that hit him like a glass bottle flying at high speeds into a boulder that would linger for the next hour…

…

**_A/N: Well, did he survive, or did Naruto turn into a tree? Review to find out more! Also, to get a good idea of whom I had in mind as a reference for Shimura Sango (fem-Danzo) take a gander at Lin Beifong. And I honestly don't know why people tend to give Tenten a surname based on a Rumiko Takahashi character, but I am continuing that tradition._**

**_…_**

**_Vocabulary:_**

**_Shinboku—the kanji for this word are 'god' and 'tree', but this has come to mean 'sacred tree'._**

**_Fūjin—the characters for this word are 'husband' and 'person', and in this case, is a respectful suffix when addressing someone like a noblewoman in Japan or China. Its meaning is somewhere along the lines of 'madam'._**

**_Inu—this is Japanese for 'dog'_**

**_Hebi—this is Japanese for 'snake'_**

**_Itachi—this is Japanese for 'weasel'_**

**_Kuma—this is Japanese for 'bear'_**

**_Usagi—this is Japanese for 'rabbit'_**

**_Washi—this is Japanese for 'eagle'_**

**_…_**

**_Confirmed Gender-bender names (Male Name=is now=Female Name):_**

**_Sarutobi Hiruzen=Sarutobi Hiromi_**

**_Sarutobi Asuma=Sarutobi Asami_**

**_Hatake Kakashi=Hatake Kariya_**

**_Morino Ibiki=Morino Ibuki_**

**_Rock Lee=Rock Lin_**

**_Hyūga Hiashi=Hyūga Chiaki_**

**_Aburame Shibi=Aburame Shizu_**

**_Namikaze Minato=Namikaze Mina_**

**_Uchiha Fugaku=Uchiha Fukuko_**


	2. Five Years Later

**_A/N: And now we have a second chapter…skipping around rather quickly now. Hopefully it's still up to standard. As usual, do read and review would you kindly?_**

…

{Play: "Soldier vs. Shaman" by KONAMIJPN from "Metal Gear Solid: The Twin Snakes"}

[Training Ground 44—nearly five years later…]

Mitarashi Anko was not having a good night…no, not at all. She was just minding her own business, enjoying a stick of quite possibly the best dango she'd ever had in the Hyūga bathhouse (made by that adorable Hinata-chan for the first time) while melting her stress away in a tub of hot water mixed in with lavender salts; she was just two minutes into her bath when she heard that that bitch Mizuki just up and stole the Forbidden Scroll from the Hokage's office.

Isn't that just bloody grand? Well, at least her job is now easier; the whole village was now on lockdown, and the patrols have narrowed her possible escape route to the training grounds. Right now, Anko was searching Training Ground 44—the place occupied a space in her heart. This was the place that she lost the boy she and Kariya-nee loved with all their hearts, and yet it was also where she was counting on finding him. She often travelled to the Shi no Mori mainly to get away from the cold glares and the hateful words, but also for the off-chance that she would find Naruto-kun somewhere in these woods. Oftentimes, she would also find Kariya here—she could only guess for the same reason as she was.

Tonight however, was different; while she and Kariya hoped to find Naruto-kun in the forest, Anko was also escorting Umino Iruka around in the forest. Umino-chan's Chūnin Exam didn't take place in the Shi no Mori, and so it was no surprise that she was not as familiar as Anko with the place. "Aren't you worried that we're going to run into the Hayashi no Oni Anko?"

Anko simply scoffed at that. "Hayami-chan was probably delirious from being sick the last time she was here! Because in all honesty, I've never heard of such a ridiculous story! An oni that lives in the Shi no Rin? Ha! Although in all honesty, I can't explain how she was suddenly cured of her sickness."

The Hayashi no Oni was a sort of hermit that lived in Training Ground 44. Nobody's heard of it until Gekkō Hayami told of her encounter a few months after Naruto-kun's abduction. It was also during this time that a wave of thefts had hit the village, taking random things from different stores—with a tool store being hit the hardest as they were robbed of all their fertilizers and gardening tools which included various kunai specially designed for gardening, and axes of all sizes. But going back to the story, Hayami-chan was out in the forest mainly in a random bout of nostalgia when she happened across a bunch of trees with large pieces cut out from their trunks. Judging from what she saw of the cuts, they were done with an axe…but before she could think any further of the strange cuts, she'd heard the telltale sound of an axe cutting away at a tree. When she found the one making the sound, she saw that it was a kid using an axe to chop off a bumpy hunk of wood from a tree trunk. When she drew her blade with the intent to capture him for questioning; the boy seemed to have heard her, causing him to turn and face her. He was described as being well-built for a kid around seven years old, and his skin had a medium tone to it. The gaki was also seen to have worn a hannya mask over his face with fake red hair pieces obscuring the rest of his head, and wore nothing but a pair of burnt orange canvas cargo shorts and shinobi sandals.

Without warning, the boy ran from her and Hayami moved in to pursue him—only to find that the boy had vanished without a trace. Suddenly, she found her ankles tied to the floor by roots that quickly stopped entwining themselves around her calves, was forced to bend backwards to avoid a pillar of wood moving upwards to punch her, and then her wrists were constricted by a pair of vines that shot up from the ground. It didn't take long for her to see the boy she was chasing start to rise up from the soil, lift his mask up such that his mouth was exposed, and then pulled himself in to plant a French kiss upon her lips. When he broke the kiss, the boy then covered his face back up, telling Hayami that her illness was cured and that if she wished to repay him, she would have to come back again another time. When asked how she was going to find him, he simply said something along the lines of 'don't try to find me; I'll find you'.

"Anyway, if we run into him, then we'll approach him accordingly," said Anko, secretly wishing that she'd be kissed in a manner similar to her former teammate, "but for now, we are looking for that bitch Mi…"

Anko's reassurance to her underclassman had come to a screeching halt as she watched Mizuki run across from her—shortly before a kid with a bokken in his hands leaped out from the bushes before slamming the blunt edge of the wooden sword downwards, denting the hitae-ate she wore on her forehead upon impact, and sending shockwaves through the poor woman's brain. The suddenness of the attack was such that even Anko herself was shocked, and to think that there was a kid this strong that was not a kunoichi was mind-bogging, and it wasn't even a girl! She then inspected the kid that intercepted their traitor—shirtless, burnt orange cargo shorts made of canvas, hannya mask with false hair pieces…yep, this was the so-called Hayashi no Oni everyone was talking about.

"Anko-san, it's good to finally see you," he said, turning to face the two of them, "I'm sorry I never had the chance to say 'hi', I was busy taking care of the trees in the forest."

Now this befuddled Anko. Who was this kid? And most importantly…"How did you know who I am?"

One could feel the grin under the mask he wore. "Contrary to what people believe, trees have ears…and eyes too if you want to be even more specific. I've watched you come to the forest from the trees scattered about the village for the past five years…primarily to look for Uzumaki Naruto, but sometimes to also read that romance novel you occasionally steal from someone called 'nai-chan when nobody's looking. And don't even get me started on all the other plants in the village; I even know, by watching though the flowers in the vase on the counter of Haruno Sakuya's sweet shop that Iruka here had a really good make-out session with the owner herself moments before you'd heard about that bitch Mizuki stealing from Hokage-bāchan."

Anko was mortified. This kid knew she'd been reading 'Nai-chan's romance novel? Did he really have a death warrant from catching her in the middle of such an act? On the other hand, she turned to ask Iruka about what he was talking about only to see that the poor woman was redder than a tomato from embarrassment—the very fact that she was blushing at all told the Tokubetsu Jōnin that he was dead-on about that assessment. It was at this point that she also registered that he knew about Uzumaki Naruto! And so with a suspicious look on her face, she decided to ask the million-ryo question: "Who the hell are you? And what do you know about Uzumaki Naruto?"

The Hayashi no Oni had his hand on his masked chin in feigned thought. "What do I know about him?" In that moment, he pushed his mask up—eliciting a look of outright shock and elation from Anko. "I'd say I know plenty about him Anko-neechan."

She could not believe her eyes! Five years she'd been searching the forest, and she finally finds the boy she'd been looking for! Anko was too shocked to say anything; all those nights without her precious little brother had made her feel even lonelier, even while sharing the same bed as Kariya-nee (a sensation that she assumed her fellow Jōnin also shared). Such was her shock that Anko barely noticed that Naruto slid his hannya mask back over his face and dove into the tree behind him in a manner not unlike the legendary Mokuton…

…

{Play: "A World Without Words" by NUJABES}

[Hokage Tower—a week later…]

It'd been nearly a week since the Mizuki incident that Hiromi had heard from Iruka and Anko's account that the so-called 'Hayashi no Oni' was none other than Naruto-kun. In all honesty, she missed the little boy; when she was told that he'd used a kind of jutsu to vanish into a tree, she'd thought that the Tokubetsu Jōnin was drunk off her ass as was often the case when she'd tortured several people successfully within five minutes. To put her story to the test, Hiromi was about to send Anko and Iruka out to find the Hayashi no Oni and bring him to the office. Needless to say, she learned the hard way that Anko wasn't kidding—especially since their subject rose out of her solid oak table before sitting at its top; he was still shirtless, but while he was in the room with her, Iruka, and Anko, he was unmasked, and with his usual mischievous grin on his face.

When she saw that the boy she loved as much as her granddaughter Kotone was right in front of her, Hiromi could not hold back the feelings she had locked away, and practically glomped him lovingly—something that Anko joined in on. When all three had settled down, Naruto had started telling his tale after Kotone's 'attempt' on Hiromi's life and Emiko's near-breaking of the law; apparently, after he was almost killed by the three kunoichi, he was taken away by a spirit of the shinboku known as 'Megami'. Afterwards, he was asked by said spirit to take a seed within himself as it was the only way that Megami could reproduce. Once done, he described the intense amounts of pain that he went through as the seed grew quickly from feeding on his chakra coils while attempting to merge with his nervous system and rewriting his genetic code to accept the plant as part of his body.

With curiosity overriding her thoughts Hiromi asked what the merge did to him. When Naruto mentioned that he could perform Mokuton, Emiko scoffed and was subsequently made into the demonstration of his power when he created tentacles from the floorboards to grab the Jōnin by her ankles while pulling both of her wrists to the ground, causing her to bend backwards. The next thing to happen was that a wooden pillar was grown in such a manner that her back was now arched, before a thick tentacle readied itself to drive forward into Emiko's nether-regions. After he said that his version of the Mokuton was superior to that of Hashirama-sensei's, Hiromi could not believe it…and yet the proof was there; he didn't have to say what else he could do, but she could imagine it.

Hiromi asked Naruto exactly what he would do with this power, and was rewarded with an answer; he'd use these powers to pay back everyone who'd been kind to him by protecting them, as well as to protect the Shi no Mori to repay Megami for her kindness. With all on mind, the Hokage decided to give Naruto the rank of Tokubetsu Jōnin with the ongoing mission of patrolling the forest for poachers, as well as general keeper work to care for the plants in the forest.

So much had happened, and she had little information about what Naruto-kun was fully capable of…something that the clan heads had demanded for when she'd convened them to discuss Naruto-kun's return and subsequent future just recently…

…

[Council Chambers—a few days ago…]

The Konohagakure no Sato Council Chambers were packed despite its organization; the civilian council was on Hiromi's left (more than half of whom were pig-headed fat-cats who cared more about the size of their wallets than the safety of their village), the kunoichi council to her right with the clan heads dispersed evenly among the most influential chakra-wielding women in the village. Both sides of the council were represented by her former teammates Mitokado Hokuto and Utatane Koharu respectively.

As a sigh left her lips, Hiromi decided to get this over with so that she could get back to her kiseru and smoke the day away (if she was lucky, her smoking would 'accidentally' burn her paperwork away). "I'm sure many of you are wondering as to why I've convened this council so suddenly," she began, silencing the entire room, "but I've decided to provide a report on the theft of the Forbidden Scroll. For those of you who are not aware, the traitor Mizuki was killed with blunt trauma to her head from an ambush from our own 'Hayashi no Oni'—and yes, I've met him yesterday. It just so happens that we found Uzumaki Naruto as well."

This elicited a wave of gasps from the majority of the kunoichi council.

"Naruto-kun's been found?!" shouted Inuzuka Tsume.

"Where has he been all this time?" asked Nara Chikako, masking her lust with motherly concern.

Akimichi Chō nudged her teammate before turning to Hiromi with a sincerely concerned look on her face. "Has the poor dear been starved?"

"Who was his kidnapper?" asked the voice of Uchiha Mikoto. Times have been hard for the Uchiha clan, especially given that her eldest daughter Itsuki had butchered all members of her clan save her and Suzume and a relative handful of other Uchiha that were actually kind to Naruto and were not involved in the coup. She took this as an opportunity to find the boy and work to apologize to him for the police brutality he'd experienced at the hands of her kinsmen and women (of the 10-15% of the women in the village that were cruel to Naruto, Uchihas had filled out no less than 60-75% of that number).

"Was he treated well?" seethed Hyūga Chiaki.

A pointed glare from Hiromi had silenced everyone in the council chambers. "In answer to all your questions, it seems that Naruto-kun has been living in the Shi no Mori as the Hayashi no Oni. He's swallowed the seed of a shinboku hidden in the forest, and because that seed accepted him, he's merged with the plant—granting him a much stronger version of the Mokuton."

"How strong Hokage-sama?" asked Yamanaka Shinobu, both lusting for the boy and curious as to his mastery over the rare elemental-type.

"Such that he can also control other plants," answered Hiromi, "but other than that, all his abilities are hearsay…"

"WE NEED TO KILL THAT DEMON-BRAT BEFORE HE…" before the idiotic councilman could say anything else, he suddenly fell forward with a kunai penetrating the occipital bone of his skull and piercing the cerebellum. The ANBU known only as Usagi was standing right behind him, looking towards the other civilian council members practically daring them all to finish that sentence.

Silently thanking Usagi for interrupting the councilman, Hiromi turned to the rest of the council. "…As I was saying, aside from his obvious ability to use Mokuton, the other abilities I've received reports of are hearsay. Among them is a story that he now has saliva with curative properties. I will answer any and all other questions, but here is the highlight of this entire meeting: Uzumaki Naruto is now officially a Tokubetsu Jōnin under my command—his duty as the first shinobi of Konoha will be to serve as the keeper of the Shi no Mori, a location that just so happens to be his new home where he will be free to kill poachers and arsonists on sight. Anybody that wants to find a particular plant that grows in the forest will have to call him forth with a list of plants that need to be found. That is all—this meeting is adjourned!"

…

[Hokage's Office—present day…]

As Hiromi sat in her office chair, she just knew that the other clan heads would want to have Naruto in their families for one reason or another. And to be honest, she really did want to know what else her grandson by bond could do, and…before she could think any further as to the boons of having another Mokuton-user aside from Toyama, a messenger pigeon had flown in to drop a letter onto her desktop before flying off. Once Hiromi opened the message and read its contents, she saw the perfect opportunity! Her mind was made up…and the benefits of the action would appear to benefit everyone in the long run. "Naruto-kun, if you can hear me, I have a mission for you."

After a few seconds of silence, she then saw the hannya-masked visage of her surrogate grandson sprouting from the tabletop shortly before he materialized to sit in front of her. No matter how many times Naruto-kun did this, it still spooked Hiromi as to how easily he could do this. "How can I help you bāchan?"

"It seems that the client has lied to Team Seven about the difficulty of the mission," began Hiromi, "I want you to go meet them at the shores on the way to Nami no Kuni, and reinforce them."

"Are there any other teams you're sending with me?"

"I'm afraid not, everyone else has their hands tied. I needed the next available individual to go and back them up."

With a moment of consideration, Naruto simply nodded in affirmation. "Okay then, I'll do it—under the condition you get someone to watch over the forest in my stead, and that I get to sign your Saru Keiyaku when I get back."

This elicited a raised eyebrow from Hiromi. What was he thinking? "I can understand your first condition, but why the second?"

Naruto grinned happily. "It's something I thought of; the fauna in the forest is too sparsely-populated, so I want to have some more animals living in there to really make it thrive. And so it's become a hobby of mine to collect every summoning contract known in the world, and sign them all in order to really populate the forest."

Hiromi had to admit that it was respectable hobby, but she didn't want to have the contract signed off to him so easily. "I'll tell you what…if you manage to bring everyone home from the mission alive then I'll speak to Enma about allowing you to sign the contract."

"It's a done deal bāchan." With that said, Naruto bowed before one of his surrogate grandmother figures, and sank into Hiromi's desk—much to the befuddlement of the old Hokage, as she was wondering if this was the way that Hashirama-sensei's enemies felt when they saw her vanishing in this manner.

…

{Play: "Echigoya Estate" by Noriyuki Asakura from "Tenchu 3: Wrath of Heaven"}

[Team Seven's current location—hours later…]

A messenger pigeon had returned from the Hokage telling Kariya and her team of kunoichi to wait right where they were. Hatake Kariya was a silver-haired jōnin with gravity-defying hair and her hitae-ate worn like an eye patch over her left eye. With her were three genin that made up Team Seven, along with their client Tazuna, one of whom was a black-haired emo-girl named Uchiha Suzume—one of the few Uchiha still loyal to Konoha after that slut Fukuko's attempted rebellion. Of the three genin under her command, Suzume seemed to have a good future going for her if she would stray from her paternal mother's ways as well as her desire for revenge against her sister Itsuki. All that aside, Suzume had yet to activate the infamous kekkei genkai her clan was known for…but Kariya had a feeling that she would earn her Sharingan soon enough on this mission.

The second genin under her command was a member of ROOT provided to her by Shimura-fūjin herself. While Sai was the odd girl of the group, she seemed to be more than capable of handling herself; the only problem was that her skills in socializing and teamwork needed…well, they needed work. Although she was curious as to how it was that the girl with the creepy smile was able to summon creatures made of ink to attack her enemies.

And last, but not least, the weakest girl on the team—the pinkette by the name of Haruno Sakura. Of all three girls, Sakura had the lowest scores in the physical tests, but she was actually off the charts in terms of book-smarts. Her mother Haruno Sayuri was a high-ranking kunoichi from an all-female clan that fell in love with a civilian councilman by the name of Haruno Jin (he married into the family against the norm). Sakura's father was an avid Naruto-hater and was actively cruel to the boy whenever he caught him in the fox-hunts, while Sayuri and the rest of the Haruno women were kind to him. As one could imagine, this estranged Jin from the family due to his anti-Naruto practices. Sakura herself was raised by her mother, but was convinced by many members of her family to pursue her interest in Uchiha Suzume to merge the two families together.

"Sensei, when is our backup going to show up?" whined Sakura.

This caused Kariya to wonder what the Haruno family did to have all women in their family (sans Sakuya) to have a horrible singing voice. "According to Hokage-sama, they should be here any moment."

"Or they could be right here," said a voice from above, causing everyone to look upward. They saw a boy in a hannya mask crouched on the branches. All three genin jumped backward the second he jumped out of the tree and landed in front of them, which elicited a suspicious look on their faces. "Oi, come on! I'm here as your backup!"

Kariya grinned under her spandex mask as she glanced upwards at her backup, her eyes following him as he walked towards the five of them. "About time you showed up Naruto-kun. Are you the only one that Hokage-sama sent?"

"Afraid so, everyone else was too busy."

Tazuna looked away. One could hear him muttering: "Oh great, yet another brat."

Suzume simply scoffed at the absurdity of the idea. "Are you kidding? You're our backup? You're a boy—you have no place in the battlefield! Now go on home and to whatever kitchen you belong to!"

Naruto turned his masked visage toward Suzume. "While I won't deny that I'm a fair cook, it'll be a cold day in hell before I take orders from a spoiled Uchiha princess like you."

Oh, she did not hear what she thought she just heard! With a roar of anger, Suzume charged in with the intent to pound the living daylights out of this insolent…insolent…buffoon! Unfortunately, she could only watch as a solid wooden wall had intercepted her. Upon impact with the wooden wall, she found herself pinned spread-eagled against the wall by wooden hands that shot out of the wall and wrapped their fingers around her wrists and ankles. She then watched as her target appeared from the face of the wall to look down upon her. "Still think I'm useless? The Mokuton abilities I'm showing are such that it puts Hashirama-sama to shame—and that's only the tip of the iceberg. This may be my first-ever mission outside the village, but I'm not going to take this kind of bullshit from you. Now are we clear on the pecking order here?"

"You don't get to order me around you…GAH!"

Suzume couldn't finish her sentence as someone had come around and smacked her in the ass. "You really do need to control that temper of yours," tittered Naruto, turning to what appeared to be a bunshin standing behind the Uchiha heir with a solid wood riding crop in his hands, "otherwise, I'll have to teach you your place the hard way. I'm not denying that the Uchiha are among the strongest clans in Konoha, but I would've thought that you'd have been humbled after what happened to your clan. What your sister did was not kosher, killing off her own family, but it could've been worse—you could've been the last Uchiha; instead, she decided to spare you, your mother, and everyone else she deemed worthy of saving. Now take that stick out of your ass before I have to shove an even bigger stick deeper into it and make you like it."

In all honesty, nobody had ever talked to Suzume like that before…even her mother, the loving and kindly woman that she was, always spoke to her gently whenever she did wrong. But this lowly peasant boy that had overpowered her broke all social barriers and in turn managed to break her down. Knowing she was beaten, she nodded her head in affirmation to be released gently from the hands holding onto her wrists and ankles tightly.

Sakura could only gawp in total awe at what she'd just witnessed. A boy had used chakra to subdue Suzume-chan—HER Suzume-chan! She was going to use this opportunity to get into the Uchiha heiress' pants and make their families stronger, but seeing this rugged boy use Mokuton had begun to change her perceptions. Perhaps if marrying into the Uchiha clan flopped, she would instead get the Mokuton running in through her family.

While she was silent on the whole matter, Sai had her own thoughts. She'd heard from Sango-fūjin that this boy was to be the keeper of the Shi no Mori, and that all ROOT agents were to keep a close eye on him. Oh she'd keep an eye on him all right—she'd keep an eye on every straight and curve of his body, as well as any opportunity to see him without that mask on his face. And on a deeper level, she had kinky thoughts involving his Mokuton being used in actions outside of regular shinobi work.

"Now that we're all squared away, can we begin this little shindig?" asked Tazuna, masking his astonishment at manner in which the spoiled rich girl was put in her place, causing everyone to follow him to the raft…

…

{Play: "Last Wolf Suite" by Noriyuki Asakura from "Rurouni Kenshin"}

[Elsewhere—at the same time…]

Deep within the bowels of a hidden base, a large, muscle-bound woman sat around on a couch with her legs spread apart. She wore a pinstriped pair of cargo pants, urban camouflage arm and leg warmers, a sarashi holding back her generous D-cup, a black scarf around her neck, a hitae-ate indicating that she was of Kirigakure no Sato wrapped around her forehead to hold up her short and disheveled spiky hair, and bandages wrapping around the lower half of her face. She was currently glaring down a midget of a man in what she could describe as a monkey suit, as well as his two rōnin bodyguards.

It was no surprise to her that a good number of rōnin were male—after the kunoichi started gaining more and more power, the samurai now became a predominantly female class. Were it not for the fact that she followed the path of the kunoichi, the woman felt that she would have been a shoe-in with those buff women that made up the shogun Mitime's samurai forces. "Well now Ayaka, it seems that your protégés, the Oni Shimei have failed in their job! Maybe you kunoichi aren't worth the money after all…or perhaps you could serve me in a different capacity?"

The woman named Ayaka sneered at the man. What was that saying again? Oh yeah, "hit him three times, and even the Buddha will get mad"…for now, she would let him have that first hit—any subsequent hits however, and it was out of her hands, paycheck be damned (she could always rob the little asshole anytime she wanted). With that said, she pointed the tip of her zanbatō at her employer, hefting the massive blade with one hand. "I wouldn't count kunoichi out Gato," she threatened, "the Oni Shimei may have failed in their jobs, but I, Momochi Ayaka, swear by my sword the Kubikiribochō that I will kill the bridge-builder."

Gato simply waved his hand in noncommittal as he turned to leave. It was clear that he was not interested. "Yeah, yeah, I swear this and that…just get the job done you stupid bitch, before I decide not to pay you at all."

As she laid her blade down to rest while silently burning holes in Gato's back, Ayaka began to think back on why she started working for this inbred little midget from hell. Her mission to kill that cold bitch Yasuko was supposed to be easy; in the early stages of the Bloodline Purges, Ayaka helped her best friend and rival Terumī Mei and her clan to escape while quietly taking Haku-chan under her wing, placing Ayaka herself as a member of Kirigakure no Sato's ANBU division. In reality however, she was a mole for the Kirigakure Rebels within the government to help those with Kekkei Genkai she ran across to escape the purge…in a quiet fashion.

Once she was promoted to being Yasuko's bodyguard, the time had come assassinate that evil little wench. Unfortunately, fate decided to be cruel to Ayaka by having a rat expose her right in front of the Mizukage…and she was also served an extra helping of bad luck when she was forced to kill everyone else in the room, giving Yasuko time to fight back and in her weakened condition no less. This in turn forced Ayaka to flee her beloved Kirigakure with Haku in tow—but not before sending a messenger pigeon to Mei, telling her about the botched assassination attempt and of her status as being on the run.

After her pursuers were disposed of, and the rebel base was moved, it was soon realized that a civil war was imminent—the trouble was that they were low on funds and manpower. It was no surprise then that a large amount of their forces were sent out to gather funds to finance the rebellion via mercenary work and quite possibly find some more warriors to fight for their cause. Ayaka and Haku were among the kunoichi sent out to Hi no Kuni to find work while the rest of the rebels laid low, training and recuperating their strength to begin the civil war. This led to her being hired off by that asshole midget. She could only hope that she could get this mission done and over soon with so that she could kill him simply for being the asshole that he was…

…

**_A/N: For those of you who hate Gato (which is likely to be all of us), I plan to kill him in a more gruesome fashion at a later occasion. I will apologize for the short chapters, but for now, I hope you will settle for a Naruto vs. Ayaka battle in the future so that we get to see the Shin-Mokuton at work, as well as the fighting style that Naruto learned. Also, this is a call for beta-readers on this story, so anyone who is interested may tell me so in their review or PM me._**

**_…_**

**_Confirmed Gender-bender Victims (Male Name=is now=Female Name):_**

**_Iruka_**

**_Mizuki_**

**_Yamanaka Inoichi=Yamanaka Shinobu_**

**_Uchiha Itachi=Uchiha Itsuki_**

**_Uchiha Sasuke=Uchiha Suzume_**

**_Mifune=Mitime_**

**_Sai_**

**_Momochi Zabuza=Momochi Ayaka_**

**_Haku_**


End file.

Naruto, Adventure, Romance