Harry Potter 1. The Pensieve

Summary: It's the summer after Harry's fifth year and he's visitng Lupin. But Harry comes across some of Lupin's most secret memories in a pensieve which are going to change Harry's feelings forever concerning his parents.  
  
I own nothing, JKRowling owns everything. Happy?  
  
The Pensieve  
  
"Take a look around," said Lupin, dropping Harry's trunk at the foot of the stairs. Harry headed up the creaking staircase warily. Lupin's home had belonged to his parents who were muggles and it was incredibly well kept with no sign of any magical activity.  
  
Harry stopped when he reached the top of the stairs and turned to a doorway on his right and opened cautiously. He stepped into what appeared to be Lupin's bedroom. His robes were laid out neatly on the bed and many photographs (the occupants moving) where hung upon the wall. Many magical books were piled upon his desk.  
  
A bright light from the corner of the room caught Harry's eye and he wandered over. Lupin's wardrobe was situated there, it's door half open. Inside, Harry saw, was a pensieve. A stone bowl with letters and runes written along the edge and silver substance was inside, it looked like almost liquid with a cloud of silver smoke hovering above the surface.  
  
Knowing all too well what a pensieve was (a collection of somebody's thoughts), Harry hesitated. Just a few months ago, Harry had been foolish enough to look into Professor Snape's thoughts and discovered his father wasn't as heroic and brilliant as he had thought.  
  
But Harry was curious to Lupin's thoughts. He did not talk much about his past and his schooldays. And another opportunity to see his parents was too great to turn down, even if they weren't as compatible as expected.  
  
Harry carefully took his wand and dipped the tip into the substance and began to stir. The substance swirled around and around, revealing a glass-like surface looking down upon what Harry guessed was the Hogwarts grounds. Harry leant forward, peering into the pensieve and then his face touched the liquid and he felt as though he was thrown forward. He felt like he was falling, faster and faster and then when he opened his eyes, he was standing under an oak tree, right next to the Hogwart's Lake. Sitting under the tree were his father James, Lupin, Wormtail and......Sirius. Harry's stomach tightened as he saw Sirius and lump was caught in his throat.  
  
He hadn't seen Sirius for three months for the mere reason he was dead. Harry had been one of the people to watch him murdered during a duel with a dark witch.  
  
"How's life as a prefect Mooney?" said James, pulling a piece of parchment form the pocket of his robes.  
  
"Boring really. I just have to capture all the troublemakers, don't I?" said Lupin plainly. Sirius let out a unexpected laugh and pointed over by the lake's edge.  
  
"Look who it is, boys. Sinivellus himself! Fancy some fun?"  
  
Harry's stomach tightened even more and he knew what was coming. He could see what seemed to be his mother near the lake's edge with her friends.  
  
Please don't, please don't let them torture him again....not in front of my mother, please.....  
  
Harry pleaded inside his head as Sirius, James, Lupin and Wormtail all got to their feet and headed over towards the lake...... 


	2. Snape's Comment

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns all the characters but I may have to make up some in the future.  
  
Snape's Comment  
  
Harry held his breath in anticipation as James, Sirius and Lupin all wandered over towards where Snape was sitting at the lake-side, his huge nose almost touching the pages of the book he was reading, with Wormtail trailing behind.  
  
"All right there Snivellus?" said Sirius in a mocking voice. Snape looked up and then looked away disgusted.  
  
"Go away," he muttered, his long greasy hair falling into his face. Sirius carried on grinning but James, Harry soon noticed, looked very uncomfortable and was shifting from one foot to the other.  
  
This wasn't the James Potter Harry had seen in Snape's Pensieve last year. His father seemed somewhat quieter and less eager to talk.  
  
"What are you reading there Snivellus? A History of Dark Magic and How to Use it?" joked Sirius, cracking up laughing. James however was not joining in with the laughing. He was staring nervously at Lily and her friends.  
  
"Hmmm, I haven't had a good laugh in ages. What shall it be Prongs? Bat-Bogey hex? Leg-locker charm?" asked Sirius, not taking his eyes form Snape who was shuffling along the grass, as though he was going to make a run for it.  
  
"Come on Padfoot, leave it. I don' want to mess around and do kid's stuff," said James, his eyes darting once again to were Lily was sat.  
  
"Oh I get it. Being a good boy for Evan's still? Not every other seventh year does what their girlfriend's tell them, you know," said Sirius with a sigh.  
  
Girlfriend, thought Harry, this is brilliant! My Mum and Dad are going out!  
  
"James! What are you doing?"  
  
Harry watched as his mother got to her feet and ran over to were James, Lupin Sirius and Wormtail were gathered, looking incredibly annoyed.  
  
"Nothing, Lily, I swear," said James, smiling at Lily.  
  
"I don't need you watching over me, you filthy disgusting little mud blood!" spat Snape, getting to his feet.  
  
Within a second, James had pulled his wand form his robes and was now pointing it directly at Snape's chest. Snape's chest rose and fell as he breathed slowly.  
  
"Call her that again Snivellus, and I'll have to return to my old ways," said James in a threatening way. Snape looked down his hooked nose at James and turned away without another word. He'd walked a few feet before he whispered something.  
  
"Mud blood lover." James rushed forward and grabbed Snape by his shoulder and spun him around.  
  
"What did you call me?"  
  
"A mud blood lover. That girl is a dirty mud blood," said Snape briskly. James once again pointed his wand at Snape's heart, his hand shaking.  
  
"I didn't want to do this Snape..." 


	3. The Confession

The Confession  
  
"Don't James!" shouted Lily, her hand reaching out and snatching James' wand from his grasp. James groaned with frustration and began to walk away from Snape, his fists clenched.  
  
"Come on Prongs, don't surrender to the little worm," shouted Sirius as James began to walk faster down towards the lake, his fists still clenched. Lily sighed and rolled her eyes. Snape took this chance to walk away extremely quickly in the direction of the castle.  
  
Sirius began to follow after James, with Peter slowly creeping along behind them. It was just Remus and Lily standing alone under the shadow of the huge oak tree.  
  
"Hi Lily," said Remus quietly. Lily smiled at him sweetly and began to stare at the lake's edge were Sirius, Peter and James were gathered, deep in conversation.  
  
Lupin rolled on the balls of his feet nervously, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Lily was about to walk away when Remus grabbed her arm to stop her.  
  
"Lily, there's something I need to tell you," he said quietly. Harry noticed the way Lupin's eyes were darting about and he cleared his throat uncomfortably. Lily stopped mid-walk and stared at Remus anxiously.  
  
"What is it?" she asked urgently. Remus cleared his throat again and wiped the back of his hand across his brow.  
  
"Lily, I really like you," he said quickly. Lily's eyes widened and she didn't say anything.

Harry had to hold out his hands to steady himself. Had he just hear correctly? Lupin liked his Mum?  
  
"Remus, I don't know what to say..." said Lily, backing away a few inches.  
  
"There's no chance that you...well....like me too?"  
  
"Remus, I have a boyfriend! Your best friend if you didn't realise!" shouted Lily, who was absolutely appalled at the idea. She was staring at him in shock.  
  
"Why, Lily, why James?" shouted Remus, his eyes blazing.

Harry knew this was the right time to leave, cover his ears with his hands, he didn't want to hear what they were going to say next. This was too much to bear. How could Lupin say such a thing when she was his best friend's girlfriend?  
  
"Remus, James is my boyfriend and I love him, if you have a problem with us, keep it to yourself! Ok?" shouted Lily, throwing her hands up in anger.  
  
"What's wrong with me? We're both clever, both interested in defence against the dark arts, both prefects, both muggle-born, both planning to be auroras when we leave school! Can't you see Lily? We're perfect for each other!" shouted Remus. An unusual expression came over Lily's face as though she was thinking deeply about what Remus had just said.  
  
_This can't be happening_, thought Harry helplessly.  
  
"Remus, please leave me alone," said Lily, her voice cracking as though she was going to cry.  
  
"Well look me in the eye and tell me you've never felt the same about me as I do about you!" shouted Remus. Lily looked at the floor and shook her head.  
  
"Please Remus, I love James, you can't spring this on me now! We've been together for nearly two years!" shouted Lily, tears welling up in her emerald green eyes.  
  
"Lily, who's to say James would have to know?"  
  
Harry felt his legs give way as he stumbled to the ground. This couldn't be true. How could his mother almost admit to liking Remus, how could Remus suggest such a thing? Harry could feel a knot in his stomach as he sat and stared at his mother and Lupin.  
  
He looked to the lakeside but it appeared that James, Sirius and Peter had headed indoors during Lily's and Lupin's conversation.  
  
"Remus, I can't, I just can't," said Lily quietly.  
  
Then she looked up at Lupin they were now standing just inches apart. Lupin moved his face close to Lily's, Lily was conscious of how close they were but she didn't move. She could feel Lupin's breath on her face as they moved closer and closer together.  
  
Harry clenched his fists tight and closed his eyes as he knew what was going to happen next and he had no way of stopping it.


	4. The Kiss

The Kiss  
  
Harry gritted her teeth, his fists clenched as he stood helplessly as Lily's lips connected with Remus'. Harry wanted to scream, pull them apart, but he knew it was no use trying. This was the past, it had already happened, he couldn't stop them.  
  
Harry had to close his eyes as they kissed passionately. He couldn't stand it. Then they stopped kissing and Lily looked up into Remus' eyes and began to cry silently, tears rolling down her freckled cheeks.  
  
"Remus, what are we doing? What are we doing to James?" cried Lily, covering her face with her hands.  
  
Please, thought Harry, let her see sense.  
  
"Lily, this feels right. This is right," Remus said, taking hold on Lily's hand. Harry drew in his breath sharply.  
  
"It feels right......but it's not," said Lily, slowly the tears stopping.  
  
"No, Lily, it is right."  
  
"Remus, we can't do this! I'm too...I'm too involved with James, this is all going too fast. We can't do this!"  
  
Lily ran away and headed right for the castle. Lupin followed right after her, his fraying robes blowing in the wind.  
  
Harry felt and though he was falling forwards again, his surroundings disappearing in a shapeless blur. Then his surroundings began to take shape and Harry realised her was standing on a Hogwarts staircase.  
  
He looked down and saw Lily and Remus running upwards. Lily was still crying and Remus had hold of her, trying to slow her. The soon reached the staircase Harry was standing on and stopped at the top.  
  
"We can do this Lily," said Lupin, taking Lily's hand gently.  
  
"I just don't know."  
  
"Look me in the eye and tell me how you really feel, Lily, tell me," urged Lupin. Lily looked up, her eyes red from crying and she opened her mouth to speak but made no sound for a few seconds.  
  
"I like you Remus, I really like you," said Lily, her voice cracking as though she was going to sob out loud.  
  
"I like you too. What's the problem then?"  
  
"I like James too. I like James possibly more. I don't want to risk what James and I have, I love him."  
  
"And I love you!" Remus pulled Lily close to kiss her and Lily didn't pull away. Eventually, the spread apart and Lily was able to speak again.  
  
"Remus, I've told you. I'm not risking what James and I have."  
  
"This doesn't have to be serious you know," said Lupin, his arms around Lily's waist. Harry wanted to run forward and hit Lupin, hit him really hard. But he couldn't do anything until he was out of the pensieve.  
  
"I just don't know...."  
  
"Tell me your answer Lily, I'm not asking you to risk you relationship with James, I'm asking you to start one with me. What's your answer?"  
  
"My answer is....." 


End file.

Harry Potter, Drama, Romance