Naruto 1. Chapter 1

Being Mean To Naruto:

Being Mean To Naruto:

Yes it's true; Ramen noodles are yellow because they come from annoying kid's hair after they're dead.

Wait if you were trained by a perverted sage…why are you still a virgin?

Are you positive that little "kissing-Sasuke-by-accident" thing was an accident?

You shouldn't even ask yourself that, Sasuke did leave because of you.

If you like Sakura doesn't that make you a lesbian?

Being Mean To Sasuke:

Not only do you lack hatred, you lack life

Me: Oh so…if you're one of the only surviving Uchia won't the clan lose its name? Sasuke: I don't think so why? Me: Because the wife takes the husband's name in marriage right?

Me: You did kill Orochimaru and now he's some weird spirit thing inside you right? Sasuke: proudly Yeah Me: Does that mean his "snake" is deep inside you too?

Yo Momma's so fat….oh…wait….you don't have a mother anymore

Is the reason you ignored Sakura all the time no matter how desperate because you were saving yourself for someone special? cough Naruto cough you want him cough, cough, cough

Being Mean To Sakura:

So if you have pink hair why don't you have pink eye?

Me: Wow so you trained with Tsunade and you're still not jealous? Sakura: Of what? Me: The fact she looks like a woman with boobs?

Me: Don't worry about all those people who say they hate you; I'm not one of them. Sakura: blushing Well thank you! Me: I'm just one of the people who despise you with a burning passion

Have you ever heard of make-up?

Do you have shorts on under your dress so that you can hide your male anatomy?


	2. Chapter 2

How To Be Mean To Neji:

How To Be Mean To Neji:

Me: laughs like a maniac Neji: What could you possibly be laughing at? Me: stops Oh well your destiny laughs again

So is the reason you have veins near your eyes during Byakugan because you don't have muscles anywhere else on your body?

Me: points to swastika on forehead So instead of "Hail Hitler!" Do you say "Hail Hyuga!"?

Is the reason you hate Hinata because you secretly wish you had a vagina and boobs to go with that hair?

Me: backs away in fear NO NEJI DON'T POKE ME! Neji: How dare you insult my attack! Me: You poke people, god your more annoying than Facebook

How To Be Mean To Tenten:

So if your name is ten-ten why do I rate you as a one-one?

So to attack like you all I need is to bite down on my thumb, put the blood on a scroll and whirl it around a few times? What kind of ninja are you?

You said you wanted to be a strong Kunochi; well to bad because only women can be strong Kunochi's.

So do you honestly think Neji likes you or are you just giving yourself and excuse to live because sweetheart…you have nothing going for you.

So how does it feel to watch your two beloved teammates fight for you? Oh wait I'm sorry you're already out cold when they start.

How To Be Mean To Lee:

Spandex on a man should be filled out in a specific area (yes I mean _THAT_ area) unfortunately you seem to have come up short.

Well Lee I'm glad your used to the one-sided-love thing because I can confidently say you'll never be getting a date.

Sure Lee you're a splendid ninja; just keep in mind Neji is a powerful one

Me: Gai-Sensei is totally gay Lee: There is no way my Sensei is gay! Me: Aha…but you didn't say you weren't rainbow boy

Me: Lee you're my hero! Lee: teary eyed Oh thank you! Me: I mean that spandex is so fierce, work it girl!


	3. Chapter 3

How To Be Mean To Kiba:

How To Be Mean To Kiba:

So if you like dogs….your Mom must be a bitch

They say most men are dogs…good luck with dating

I have a question; when have you ever fought on your own? Or do ninja's now come with sidekicks…

Me: SIT BOY! Kiba: ? Me: It works in _Inuyasha_….

Me: looks down at Kiba Awww what a cute puppy! Kiba: looking to Akimaru Why thanks Me: No not him pets Kiba awww cute doggy.

How To Be Mean To Shino:

Me: Hey Shino I found your anthem! Shino: looks at me like I'm Naruto What? Me: sings _The ants go marching one by one hoorah, hoorah. The ants go marching one by one hoorah, hoorah!_

Me: Why do you wear those sunglasses? Shino: takes a breath like he's going to explain Me: interrupts Oh I know the bugs ate out your eyes right?

I don't get it, you're already filled with insects, and so do you think acting stone cold will get you more friends?

Know what I get a kick out of? Burning ants with a magnifying glass.

I don't care what you tell me, I don't like you, you're creepy and yes even if you are the mission leader I still don't give a rat's behind.

Being Mean To Hinata (awww but she's so innocent):

I love how you still stalk Naruto but don't realize it won't happen!

Okay so you have boobs unlike Sakura, aren't a whore like Ino and are useful in situations unlike Tenten so why it that all you do is is wear a winter coat to cover everything up, avoid all human relations and tap your fingers together? Oh right I know you have no life.

Wow I TOTALLY understand why everyone in your clan thinks you're a burden!

Me: Naruto likes you Hinata: R-r-r-rea-l-l-lly? Me: No I just love seeing you look hopeful like it's going to happen.

Some ugly ducklings become swans…you're the exception


End file.

Naruto, Humor, Parody