Harry Potter Spin! Spin!

Spin! Spin!  
  
"Hey Ron? Did you hear? Hogwarts is holding some kind of new contest," said my best friend Harry Potter. "Really? What sort?" asked my other best friend Ron Weasley. "Dunno. It's supposed to be only for the girls," Harry said shrugging. I sighed. Honestly. If they had ears they'd be ten times smarter. Before I could open my mouth, Fred and George slid into the seat across from me next to Ron. "It's a 'Miss Magic' Pageant," Fred grinned. Ron started laughing so hard he was turning red. I glared at him reprovingly. "What's so funny about that?" I asked indignantly. "The fact is we're going to get Malfoy to be one of the contestants," George said grinning more. "Now that would be funny!" Harry said laughing. "And how do you propose to get him to be in the pageant?" I asked raising an eyebrow. "Easy. We're going to tell him it's a body building pageant and that he would be chicken not to join. George and I are going to plant to be in it also to throw him off," Fred said. "Count me in!" Harry said laughing harder now. "Me too!" Ron said. "Okay, but I must warn you. There's going to be one time you're going to have to wear a sparkly bra and matching underwear piece. This is all part of the plan," George said warningly. Harry and Ron looked at each other then shrugged and nodded. "If it's one time and to throw Malfoy off, we're in!" Harry said. "Okay. Here are the details," George said as he, Fred, Ron and Harry leaned close and began whispering. I sat glaring at all of them. If they really want to be shocked, wait until I enter. I felt a smile forming on my face as I thought of this. Harry looked up. "Whatcha smiling about? Thinking of Malfoy's face when he realizes it's a girl's pageant?" he asked grinning. "Oh yeah," I said nonchalantly. He went back to talking with Fred and George.  
  
Professor Dumbledore announced the pageant at dinner that night. Then, the Twins' plan got put into effect. "Hey Malfoy! Come here a sec!" George called across the Hall. Malfoy glared at George as if he was a three headed Hippogriff. "Like I'm really going to come over there," Malfoy retorted sarcastically. "Well, we're just going to have to go over there," Fred replied as he and George got up from the Gryffindor table and headed over to the Slytherin table. "Erm, how are they going to convince Malfoy that he's got to enter? Dumbledore said it was a "Miss Magic" pageant," I replied frowning. "Knowing Fred and George they have way," Ron replied grinning. But then he and Harry got into a giggling fit. I shook my head and sighed.  
  
A few moments later, Fred and George came back and from the look on their faces, I could tell they succeeded. "Well, the git bought it!" Fred rolled with laughter as breakfast ended and we began heading to our classes. "What on earth did you tell him?" Harry asked picking up Fred's laughter. "That the "Miss Magic" pageant was just a cover up. It's really a body building contest for boys," George said. "That the Ministry of Magic wouldn't allow a contest for girls with the type of context in it." "You mean the Ministry won't let girls have a pageant but yet allows boys to have a body building contest? That is so sexist," I replied irritably. "Hermione...you weren't listening. We just told Malfoy that so he would enter," Fred grinned. "Oh," I said blushing. "I can't wait to see his face!" Ron roared. I had to admit, it was funny, but cruel at the same time. Not that I didn't think Malfoy deserved it...because he did. "Neither can I," I replied.  
  
The pageant was going to be held on Friday. Harry, Fred, George and Ron began getting full details and started rehearsing. I had decided not to enter. I didn't really approve of this sort of thing. I felt that it was discriminating and shallow. They key was to get Malfoy into this sparkly bra and matching underwear with tassels on the bra in the right places. Right in the middle of each cup on the outside. Ron, Harry, Fred and George were going to dress up in similar outfits just to get Malfoy on stage, but then they would be backstage getting undressed and joining the rest of the school in the Hall at the Gryffindor table.  
  
The day of the pageant I was sitting at the Gryffindor table along with Ginny and Neville. The head table had been moved and there was a small stage in front of a pair of curtains. We had the afternoon off from classes. Everyone was talking amongst themselves eagerly waiting for the pageant to start. I spied Harry, Ron, Fred and George standing with Malfoy off to the side. They whispered something to him and then he disappeared. Professor Dumbledore got up on stage and began speaking. "Welcome to the first annual Miss Magic Pageant!" he said. The entire Hall cheered loudly. "First up will be the talent portion," Professor Dumbledore said as he stood off to the side of the stage and about 10 girls appeared. One by one they did their talent. Then, Malfoy stepped out on stage dressed in the sparkly bra with the tassels and the matching underwear. His eyes were shut. He began moving his body so that the tassels on the bra twirled around in a circle. "I'm so buff!! I'm the man! And I'm so hunky!" Malfoy bellowed as he continued to move his body so that the tassels kept twirling. There was complete silence in the Hall. Ron, Harry, Fred and George slipped into their seats at the Gryffindor table beside me. They were trying so hard not to explode with laughter until someone else started. Sure enough, someone at the Hufflepuff table began roaring with laughter. That of course, started a rippling effect and soon everyone was laughing so hard they were crying. Malfoy's eyes snapped open. He went pale and tried to cover himself but it was a loosing battle. "Look! It's SEXY MAMMA!" someone called from the Gryffindor table and let out a high pitched whistle. "GIMME SOME OF THAT SUGAR BABY!" "HUBBA BUBBA!" The Hall erupted into more laughter. "LOOK! HE'S GOT FUR!" A girl from Ravenclaw yelled. Well, that set everyone off into more hysterical peels of laughter. I was even having a hard time keeping a straight face. Ginny and Neville were laughing so hard they were slowly sliding off their seats. Fred, George, Ron and Harry were rolling and Fred fell off his chair. Malfoy turned beet red and went to turn around to walk off the stage when a girl let out a scream of laughter. "OH MY GOD! I THOUGHT MY HOUSE HAD CRACKS!" Professor Dumbledore looked like he was trying hard not to laugh but we could see his blue eyes twinkling behind his half moon spectacles. "GOOD LORD! SOMEONE PLEASE POKE MY EYES OUT! I'M BLIND! I'M BLIND!" George let out a whistle next. "I WANT SOME OF THAT BABY!" Ron was turning scarlet and had tears rolling down his cheeks. "WHOO WHOO!" Harry called next. Embarrassed and looking as though someone had caught him nude in the shower, he turned around facing the Hall and backed away just as a girl coming out to do her talent was coming on stage. He looked even redder and finally disappeared behind the curtain. "Oh, man," Ron coughed. "That was awesome!" "Yeah," Fred laughed. "I think we scarred him for life now." "I thought the underwear was normal...not a g-string!" Harry laughed. "Well, it certainly added more...don't you think?" Fred asked. "Yeah!" Ginny and Neville giggled.  
  
When the pageant was over, we all headed back to our common rooms. Malfoy had gotten dressed back in his Slytherin robes and cornered us on the way to Gryffindor tower. "I should've never believed you Weasels," he growled angrily. "You humiliated me in front of the whole school! Wait until my father hears about this!" "And what is he going to think of his only son entered in a girls' pageant dressed in a sparkly bra with tassels and g-string?" Fred asked with a straight face then tsked. "He's going to hear how I was put up to it!" Malfoy snarled. "Mmm hmm...I'm sure he's noticed some 'signs' along the way," George added looking thoughtful. "Always looking for classy robes..." George mused. "Asking Pansy to borrow her makeup..." Fred added. "I never asked Pansy to borrow her makeup!" Malfoy snapped. "Well, we'd best get going. Normally, we'd love to stand here and exchange makeup tips but we really need to get to our common room," Fred said batting his eye lashes at Malfoy and then walked sexily down the corridor, over exaggerating a girl walking. "Toodles, Malfina," George said as he followed Fred's exaggerated walk. Ron, Harry and I followed walking normally.  
  
Once in the common room, we found George and Fred slapping each other a high-five. "What are you up to now?" Ron asked raising an eyebrow. "George just told me that he put a little 'charm' on those sparkly bra and g-string. Malfoy will be a new man by tomorrow," "You mean..." Harry's voice trailed off. "He will be a girl," Fred finished. Well, that set off Ron and Harry. I snorted and sat down in a chair in front of the fireplace. It was late, around nine o'clock. I yawned. "I'm off to bed. I'll see you all tomorrow," I said as I got up and headed to the girls' dorms. "Night!" Fred, George, Harry and Ron called in unison.  
  
The next morning at breakfast, Malfoy entered the Great Hall looking sleepy and groggy. The entire Hall was silent. He had shoulder length blond hair now, and two large bumps protruding out from the front of his robe. He sat down at the Slytherin table and began eating nonchalantly. Crabbe and Goyle leaned forward and whispered something to Malfoy. About 3 seconds after that, we heard Malfoy let out a high pitched scream. He jumped up from the table and tried to flatten the 'bumps' but it wasn't working. "GET THEM OFF! GET THEM OFF!" he yelled running around the Hall. Several students began laughing and pointing. Harry and Ron were laughing too. A loud noise erupted, like someone filling a balloon up with air, then letting it go. It was loud and the entire Hall could hear it. Malfoy began turning beet red. "GROSS!" "WHATEVER YOU DO...DON'T LIGHT A MATCH!" "IF WE DON'T HAVE ADEQUATE VENTALATION WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!" "SOMEONE PLEASE PUT A CORK IN IT!" Malfoy slinked back over to the Slytherin table and sat down shaking. "How long does that spell work?" Harry whispered to Fred. "A few days. He'll have to borrow one of Pansy's bras for now," Fred whispered. We snorted.  
  
Sure enough, a few days later we saw a bra outline under Malfoy's robes. Someone reached behind him and unhooked it. "Whoops. Looks like Binky and Kinky are loose," a boy from Slytherin said mockingly. We were sitting in Potions class. Everyone giggled as Malfoy tried to hide the 'monstrosities'. Professor Snape irritably waved his wand and Malfoy's 'lumps' and shoulder length blond hair vanished. He was back to normal now. Malfoy turned around and glared at the boy. "You're in for it now," he mumbled. The boy grinned and winked at him. We continued with the lesson.  
  
"I can't believe what we did to him," Fred said as George, Harry, Ron and I headed out of the class and to Charms, which was our next class. "I think we had enough pranking," George said calmly. "Yeah. Let's just hope he doesn't figure out that it was us that put the charm on the bra and g-string," Fred replied. "He might. He knows it was you two who put him up to this and Harry and Ron went a long with it," I replied sternly. "Hermione, you can be such a party pooper," Ron said grinning. I frowned at them but said nothing. I had a feeling Malfoy was going to get his revenge on them for humiliating him in front of the whole school.  
  
The year went by after that peacefully. Fred and George were sure that Malfoy had forgotten everything. Boy, were they wrong.  
  
We found a compartment that was empty, but there were cupcakes left on the seat. "Wow...someone left these here," Fred replied as he sat down on one side of them and George sat down on the other. "I wouldn't eat them. You don't know where they've been," I scolded. "I scratch my butt at night, Hermione. I know where my fingers were," Fred replied grinning. I rolled my eyes in disgust and sat across from them. There were approximately four cupcake total. One for Ron, Harry, Fred and George. "I'm warning you...I wouldn't eat them," I said frowning. "Chill out," Ron replied. I sighed. I had a bad feeling that something was wrong with the cupcakes but I couldn't put my finger on it. They hungrily dove into them.  
  
About ten minutes later, they were relaxing and looking out the window. I felt that maybe I had been wrong and that the cupcakes were perfectly fine. Someone might've gotten them off the snack trolley and forgotten them on the seat. But just then, Ron cried out and put a hand over his stomach. "Ron? Are you alright?" I demanded worriedly. Shortly after Ron, Harry, Fred and George did the same thing. "I told you NOT TO EAT THEM!" I yelled. A flash of bright light went off before my eyes, momentarily blinding me before it vanished and my lower jaw dropped. Sitting across from me were four 'girls' dressed in pink fuzzy robes. "Look on the bright side," Fred replied looking down at his chest that looked like it was triple D. "There's a bright side?" Ron moaned. He looked like Ginny's sister. "I JUST LOVE FUZZY!" Harry, George and Ron moaned.  
  
THE END.  
  
(A/N-I know...I have a strange sense of humor, but it's hilarious to write something like this. If you didn't like it, please be honest. I appreciate honesty over cruelty. ( Thanks for reading!) 


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Harry Potter, Humor