Harry Potter The Error with Eavesdropping

**Disclaimer:** J. K. Rowling is the creator of the Harry Potter characters and realm, not me. This was written for fun and enjoyment only.

This oneshot is rated more for the visual aspect from reading this than the actual written content.

* * *

**The Error With Easedropping**

I'm starting to get worried.

I haven't seen James, Sirius, or Peter since breakfast this morning. And they left early! I should have figured that something was up sooner, I admit, since Peter willingly left a meal.

Surely, the three of them wouldn't be plotting something without me. No. Definitely not.

Well I guess that means I should go looking for them as they aren't outside anywhere. Why they would be hanging around in the castle on such a nice day has me completely dumbfounded though. Just one more thing to ask them when I find them I guess.

My search brings me from one floor up to the next, and every possible room or place I can think of leaves me coming up clueless as to where those three have hidden themselves. It's not that I'm worried, I'm just curious. I was rather looking forward to hanging with them this weekend on account of it being a new moon tonight. That fact alone has me excited, but tomorrow is also my birthday!

I stand to the side of the wall along the staircase to avoid being trampled over by several first and second years as they rush out of our common room down towards the freedom of the warm outdoors.

I wait till the major hoard of them are past me before continuing on up and giving the password to the Fat Lady.

The common room is completely empty, not surprising given the mass of students who just came out. As I said, we're having great weather today, which has been a nice break from the rain we have had on and off for the past two weeks.

I walk straight to the stairwell that leads to the boys dormitories. I still find it odd that girls can come up ours but we can't go up to theirs. Not that I want to go up in theirs mind. It is interesting to think about though, and what the school founders were thinking.

The door is closed. That's odd. I'm sure I was the last one to leave and I don't remember shutting it behind me. I slow my pace and reach out for the door but my hand stops before reaching the knob as a muffled noise reaches my ears.

What is that sound? It sounds like something is getting smacked. The sudden blow of a whistle startles me, and I'm grateful every dorm has a landing or I would have just fallen backwards down the stairs.

_"You're the one that pushed me into this position. Now come on Sirius, focus!"_

What the newt? Was that James? Well, I guess I found them, but what on earth is James doing with a whistle?

There's that odd smacking sound again. I wish I could distinguish what it is exactly, it has my mind curious.

_"You can do it!" _Yes. Definitely James. Wonder what he meant.

_"Shut it. I'm trying to focus." _Alright, well that was Sirius, but why did he seem like he was straining to say that. What could they possibly be doing in there? A low, groaning reaches my ears. That can't be a good sign. What are they up to now? And why hasn't that smacking been stopped? It's really starting to get annoying.

_"You've almost got it... almost"_ I hear James again, boy he sounds awfully excited about something. I'm sort of hesitant to find out, but my curiosity is getting the better of me.

I reach for the knob again and jump as there's another blow from the whistle. My heart can't take much more of this. No. Definitely not.

_"Give me some slack"_ I hear Sirius grunt loudly, _"This isn't easy!"_

Good Godric! What is going on in there?! There's a lot more of those odd moaning sounds again.

_"I think I'm almost there."_I hear Sirius again, though it sounded like he said that through clenched teeth.

I stare at the door. My thoughts are getting the better of me and I need to stop it. I mean, surely, what I'm hearing isn't what it seems to be. No, it just wouldn't make any sense. Not with _them_. Definitely not.

_"Almost there."_ I hear James again. That sound, it has to be something smacking the furniture. Yes, that's what it is. But why-

_"AAARUGGHHH!"_... was that Sirius? He must be frustrated about whatever their doing. It's slightly worrisome. I mean, I've only heard sounds like that from distressed animals. And believe me, I have some experience with that.

_"Come on Sirius hang in there!" _Now James sounds frustrated. This is getting quite confusing. _"Come on Black, this can't be all you've got in you."_

This can't possibly be happening. I must be hallucinating to be hearing such things. Get a hold of yourself Remus! There has got to be a reasonable explanation for all of this. Just try and think, what does loud grunting and moaning mean when you combine it with smacking sounds of furniture and a whistle.

_"Just a little bit more Sirius! You've just about got it!"_

Okay, bad idea Remus. Don't think about what you are hearing other than the dialogue. There has to be a clue in what they are saying that makes this all make sense. There has to be.

_"EUUUURRRAAAAAHHH!"_

_"can't believe you're going to let yourself come up short to me."_ I don't even want to know what James meant by that.

_"wish you'd two would hurry this all up. I want a go too." _What the newt! Peter is in there too! What could he possibly be doing in there with the other two... just... oh, please tell me he's not watching them with interest.

That's just wrong. Utterly and completely wrong. I mean I know James's likes an audience, but that's just deplorable.

I should leave. I really don't want to be invited in on what they're, well what it sounds like they're doing. I just can't imagine why they-

"Uff!" Oh, that smarts. I wasn't paying attention to how far I was backing up. Took a tumble down the stairs. My bag's still tumbling, I can hear it pound its way down each stone step.

My attention is diverted when I hear the familiar creak of the dorm door being pulled open.

"Remus?" I hear Peter question me, he sounds startled, I don't blame him. "What are you doing down on the floor?"

"Hey are you alright Remus?" I hear James ask. Oh boy, I cover my eyes so I don't see anything I don't need in my head. The mental image of the things I overheard was quite enough for me.

"I'm fine, it's just my bag. My bag fell down the stairs, that's all." I reply. This whole situation has gotten out of control, and it isn't helping that I'm to flustered to know what to do.

"And so did you it seems," I hear Sirius retort, his footsteps drawing closer to the group.

"You two help him up, I'll go get his bag." James offers.

"NO!" I shout, before James can even move.

"What?!" I hear the three of them shout in shocked unison.

Right, I'm the one who gets to be the shocker in this situation. Just perfect. Am I really the only sane one here?

"Shouldn't you put some cloths on before you strut down the stairs James, honestly, someone might see you."

The silence can't be a good sign.

"Um... Remus," I hear Peter's tentative voice, "We're all fully dressed."

That can't be right. I share a room with these three, I know for a fact that neither of them could have gotten themselves dressed that quickly after I fell. No, definitely not.

I can't believe I'm doing this, but I think it is worth the risk to figure out what is going on here. I let my hands drop from my face. My gaze is met by the others, looking at me in their confused and worried manner. Sure enough, they are all fully clothed.

"So tell us Remus," Sirius began raising an eyebrow and sharing a sideways glance with James. "Why is it you think we we're naked?"

This is so embarrassing. I can't believe I have to explain myself, but I can't think of a way to avoid it. But I can avoid looking them in the eye as I make a complete fool of myself.

"I went looking for you... weren't outside... or anywhere I looked... came up the stairs... the whistle shocked me... all those grunting noises... what you were shouting to each other... I was... then I fell... and..."

And I really can't formulate any tangible thoughts. I'm sure they had a hard time following, but I can't help it, when I'm flustered like this I never make any sense. Even I don't know what I was trying to say and I was the one speaking. I think I gave myself a headache. Just perfect.

The silence is killing me. Do I dare sneak a look? Well, yes, yes I do. I just know I'm going to regret this. What am I talking about!? I already do!

James and Sirius and Peter are staring at me. Peter is biting his lips, his shoulders bouncing ever so slightly. Sirius's jaw hangs slightly gaped with his eyes fixed on me in a calculating manner. James has his head cocked to the side in his trademark smirk. Well at least he finds this funny. Someone should. If I weren't in my position right now, I assure you, I would.

"Ugh Remus,... what you over heard was us practicing our animagus transformations. We've been working at it for the past few years. We thought if we could learn to become animals then we could join you when you, erm, get furry yourself. It was suppose to be a surprise for your birthday." James explained slowly trying his best not to burst out laughing between words.

Wait, what... what did he just say. There's no way they could... but that takes years... wow. I have the best friends in the world if they are willing to do that for me. It does fit, considering. I can't believe it.

"Surprise." they all chorused together, without much enthusiasm as I'm sure they envisioned themselves giving.

I... I don't have words enough to express my gratitude, or to apologize to them.

I smile at them. They've known me long enough to understand.

The three of them exchanged glances, their eyes wide and their eyebrows raised. Then they simultaneously break out into laughter. Just perfect, there is no way they are going to let me forget about this misunderstanding anytime soon. No, definitely not.

"Don't you know the error with easedropping is that you only hear what you want to, not what's actually being said and done." James says with a smirk as he extends his hand out to me.

"Yeah. Right. Sorry." I reply with short pauses between each word. James pulls me up and then Sirius pats my shoulder with his hand.

"Didn't know you had such a vivid imagination there Remus," he barked. I shrugged out from his grip and glared at him from the corner of my eyes. He took the hint and turned back into the room, pulling Peter in behind him by the collar of his robes.

James stayed for a second longer, avoiding my gaze, but I couldn't help but notice the corners of his mouth twitching. He was obviously holding himself back on my account.

"Who wants to play a hand of poker?" I hear Sirius shout boisterously from the room. I follow James into the room.

This is going to become one of those memories that's bitter sweet to recall. I will admit, that the misunderstanding was my fault completely. I really should have known better.

And James only has it half right.

While my easedropping did lead me from the truth of what was happening, it definitely was not what I wanted to hear. Definitely not.

And now I just hope I can get the mental image and memory of what I heard out of my head before dinner, and bed tonight.

I solemnly swear if I can't, I'll make the boys live to regret it. Don't ask me how right now, but I'll think of something. I always do.


End file.

Harry Potter, Humor