Nichijou/日常 Life without regrets - Story about two suns

-There ain't no shame in growing old. Rather, a shame is when you live a life without living.-

H.N.

**Living without regrets – Story about two suns**

Vanilla sunset painted the sky over town in a radiant, orange colours, rich like a painter's palette. It did so now, same as many years ago. In those times, long ago, there was a happiness, joy of youth, there was a magic, but as the time passed those things have faded away. Only vanilla sunset remained, sun over the town was still the same. People have changed, but town remained the same. Nano asked herself sometimes whether she's akin to town more than people.

Little house, which once served as a laboratory, over the years was a witness to many things, and of course, she remembered them all. When it all began, Hakase was but a child, a mere eight year old without a knowledge about the world outside of the doors. But all things pass, and she grew up, seeking company of boys, later of men. Also, her college came and time for her to find her place under this same sun.

And Nano was immeasurably lonely those days. Hakase was never home – at college days she studied at Osaka and went back home just on the summer holidays – so Nano had to take care of old Mr. Sakamoto, who was having cataracts (sorry for the pun, it was not intended), on both eyes, and had to be fed by hand. One day, he simply fell asleep and never woke up again.

After the college, Hakase married to a man who she met while studying. Twas' a young, handsome man with green eyes and doctor's degree at science, who went on by name Toru, and two had a pair of most beautiful daughters. Their names, respectively, were Same and Purin, and as Hakase decided to live in her old house, Nano enjoyed watching the little girls dancing on the grass, their hairs flying on the wind, playfully, merrily.

Nano was witness to all of those things, unchanging, immortal, her fate unfathomable to everybody else as they aged, and generations changed, with her being forever young, trapped in some different time.

How, oh how she cursed her existence sometimes! As Hakase grew older, Nano countless times asked her to be turned off. For she knew, Nano knew that in the end all that was waiting for her was a loneliness, without a friend in the world. But Hakase was stubborn, as always, and she protested. „But, I love you, Nano! Stop saying such things!" And in the end, Nano's wish never became reality.

Today, beneath the vanilla painted dusk, eighty-two summers had passed in Hakase' life, and she indeed was old. Her husband, Toru, died some years ago and afterwards, she was never the same, bright woman. Nano usually said that child inside of Hakase died along with Toru, leaving her a husk, not even a half of what she was before.

Room where Hakase laid down was the room where all of the childhood days went on. Walls were covered with reminders of her life, pictures colored by numerous fading rays of sunlight, casting their light like a caleidoscope. Her daughters, her husband, , their faces trapped in time just as they were when the pictures were reality. Since Hakase' memory became slower with years, Nano usually knelt next to her bed, showing her those and her memories came back.

„Hakase?" Nano softly whispered in her ear. Hakase' face was wrinkled, old, and only her eyes had the same, blue sparkle as they always had. They, right now, looked a bit confused, like she was unable to discern the person talking to her.

„Who is that?"

Swallowing a tear, Nano went over the whole thing again.

„It's me, Nano. Do you remember your Nano?"

„Nano... Ah, Naano. Wait... who is Nano?"

Nano took a picture from the wall, where three of them, Hakase, Nano and , stood before the lab, along with Yuuko and Mio, their smiles bright and unchanging.

„Ah... Nano! Nano! Can you make me some tea, Nano? My throat is dry."

„Ah... of course. Wait for a brief moment."

Incense of tea filled the small laboratory, smell of strawberry and cinnamon, along with a faint traces of honey and lemon juice. Nano took it on a plate, hurrying back to the room, only to be greeted by an unusual scene.

Hakase was sitting on the edge of the bed. Her grey hair was tied in a bun, and clutched on her chest, touching her pink night gown was a same picture. Her old, pale cheeks were wet from tears which constantly rolled from her teal, blue eyes.

„Nano! Nanoo! I'm so ashamed, oh, Nano! All of it came back to me! I am so useless now, am I? Whole of my life was just a burden to everybody around me. And now, there ain't no turning back! I'm but an old woman now, without a friend in the world! Yuuko died. Mio died. Mr. Sakamoto... died. Mei died. Toru also died. My daughters, Same and Purin, both died. Why am I still alive? Why? Tell me!"

Nano turned around, and tea dropped from the plate, spilling everywhere around the floor as she cried. Whether it was because her words were true, or because she ignored Nano who was the only person left in Hakase' life, those words stung deep. Or maybe it was because Hakase had a chance to see her friends again, once, and Nano had no such a choice?

Taking a deep breath, she brushed her tears and turned around.

„Hakase, look up. I understand, maybe the best, a pain the you feel right now. But, there ain't no shame in growing old. Rather, a shame is when you live a life without truly living. Take a solace in the fact that you've led a good did, Hakase. You had love, felt pain, happiness, felt all of the joy that a life is. You will soon meet all of them again."

Hakase looked down, and she spread her arms, awaiting Nano's embrace. As they touched, Hakase softly cried. Nano, also, let it all out again.

„But, Nano... if I die, I will not see **you.** Robots never die."

„I will wait for you, Hakase. And the day when you're born again will be the day when I'll find you. Remember the day when we've first met?"

Hakase took a deep breath, letting her thoughts fly away, and then she remembered with a gasp.

„I was alone! And I needed somebody to be with me. Then, I made you. At first, I wanted a food dispenser but I grew attached to you. When we were together, when we were young. Those were the best days of my life. You know, I never hated you? I loved you, Nano. Those..."

Hakase' talk was suddenly interrupted as she dug nails in Nano's back, grabbing her key, clutching on it with cramped fingers.

„Hakase? Hakase?!"

Hakase' grapple was hard, and Nano felt how she gasped for breath, clutching still on her key.

„Na... Nano... I can't... help..."

„You're fine, Hakase! I will give you some water! Oh yes, water always helps, that's right! Do you need snacks? You've always liked them. Remember? I can also draw you a shark. I don't know how to draw but I'll do it. I will never, ever ask you to eat onion again, too! Just calm yourself!"

Nano let a sigh of relief as Hakase' breath steadily calmed down. Slowly, tho, that breath continued calming down until it was just a whiff. Realizing what hath transpired, Nano panicked, shaking her hard.

„Hakase! Hakase! Open up your eyes! Please, Hakase! HAKASE!"

Hakase smiled and slowly let her go, laying down on the bed. Opening her eyes with an obvious struggle, she whispered something inaudible. Nano grabbed her gown, weeping in pain, as emotions wracked her heart, making her feel like thousand screws just got loose all over her body. She wept, and begged, but Hakase slowly and surely faded away. Brushing her tears, wanting to feel her warmth for the last time, Nano pressed her cheeks which grew colder and stamped a kiss deep inside of her wrinkled face skin. She kissed her again, and eyed her with look which begged Hakase to live just a bit more.

„I love you, Nano." Hakase whispered, and with it, last pale whiff of her breath came out between her old lips.

„Hakase? You're sleeping, right? I will bring you your favourite shark plushie."

Nano hurried, but as she tried pulling her hands up they were already stiff. Only a little smile remained frozen on her lips, and it was in that moment when Nano was sure.

Hakase saw an angel.

And it made her cry for the rest of the day and upcoming night.

* * *

Clear august day was indeed cold between the passageways and turns in the old, old graveyard. Old, moss covered tombstones and shrine themed statues offered irreplaceable and one person frequented the place just to feel it, again. But it wasn't the only reason. Her key wasn't turning right now, and she prayed as she burned the incense, as every other day when she went there.

„Hakase, I've brought you shark chocolate sponge. Are you hungry? I've also made you some dinner, without onions of course. Are you lonesome over there? Of course not. Say hi to Yuuko from me. And to Mio, and Mei. And of course, Mr. Sakamoto. Don't forget to feed him."

She whispered, smiling softly. As she remembered her friend, Nano let a single tear under her large, black bonnet. As she heard somebody coming, she quickly brushed her tears off and promptly ceased talking. It just felt too private.

Coming from somewhere between the tombstones there was a young family. Man and woman, both, had a fiery orange hair. It was so similar to somebody who she knew so long ago, and then a little girl ran between them. By the looks, she was barely three years old and she was running forward as they called for her to come back. As she passed by Nano, their eyes locked, and girl stood frozen, a wide smile appearing on her little face.

„Nano!" child smiled and yelled.

Woman finally caught up to her, and her cheeks suddenly grew red in embarrassment.

„Ayumu! What is Nano, for the love of gods?! And I've told you already, don't bother the girl, she's in mourning!"

„Yes, mommy."

„I'm sorry, young woman. Our daughter still needs to learn her manners."

Nano cried a tears of happiness, holding her bonnet tight on her chest.

„She reminds me on somebody who I knew so long ago. Please, can I hug her?"

Woman turned around, and she looked even more embarrassed as she called her daughter. Nano spread her arms wide and Ayumu ran forward, giving her a long, long, warm, cuddly embrace.

„Nano loves you, Hakase. She will love you, forever and ever." Nano whispered in her little, round ear.

„Ayu-chan loves Nano!"

Woman snapped afterwards.

„By the gods, Ayumu! I've told you already, she is not your Nano. We're terribly sorry for this. Her first word was Nano and she asked us countless times when we will meet Nano. Nano this, Nano that, I'm already tired of hearing about it. If she caused you an emotional pain please tell us, and we will do whatever we can to repay you."

Whether she felt like she didn't wanted to share the truth, or whether she felt like repercussions of that truth would be too complicated, Nano did not told her true identity to woman.

„No... it's fine. I'm glad to see her. She's a fine young girl already." Nano smiled, and then let the girl back to her parents.

„Let's go, Ayumu. Say bye-bye to your friend."

„Bye bye, Nano!"

As girl waved her goodbye, being pulled by obviously annoyed young woman, Nano felt warmth filling up her soul. Life indeed is sad, but a beautiful and mysterious story. It falls upon us how we're going to write it.

Make sure not to have any regrets.


End file.

Nichijou/日常, Drama, Spiritual