Vampire Knight 1. Moonshine

**A/N**: Post Aidou Aizen's murder. The hodge-podge bunch held an alcohol laced cheer-up party for Aidou in Zero's apartment. Warning... Crack, OOC, bad sense of humour, random senselessness, alcohol abuse by minors...And Ichiru's back from the dead, looks exactly like Zero (refer to chapter 12 of The Midori Incident to find out how). **Hey Kim... Happy Belated Birthday!** I tried my best! I've no experience with alcohol too... Sorry I'm slow. I've been rendered into a mono-typer blessed with a raging concussion for the time being...Kekeke. ^^ Read away people...

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The Twincestic Twins Follies: Moonshine

_Fuck, I'm tired_...

He groused, fishing out his keys.

_I hate school..._

He thought, recalling the group of fifty to sixty rabid fan girls who had been trailing after _him_ all over the academy; yelling "Kyaaaa!" or whispering "Oooohs!" or "Awwww..." and "He looked at ME...!" In short, he was going nuts just from avoiding and pretending that they were invisible.

_I hate the rabid fan-girls..._

The piles of goodies, plushies, dried wilted flowers and other cringe worthy junk were piled beside his door, overflowing the narrow hallway. They had discovered the location of his apartment. They had diverted their bloodthirsty fanatical obsessions towards the Kiriyu Twins.

_Damn Ichiru..._

He cursed the cause of his misery; his bipolar twin brother. He kicked a jigsaw puzzle of a close up the two of them standing side by side during prefect patrols. The image of two very identical twins, the smiling one fingering the tattooed left side of the neck belonging to the other mirror-image who was scowling at the world rather _suggestively _would catapult any perverted brains into '_Twincest Land_'. He had the feeling that Ichiru was doing those kinds of things on purpose.

_Twincest... _

The meaning of the new _terminology_ shocked him. Sure, they were close being brothers and all but not _that _close. He growled at the message at the bottom of the puzzle which read _"Zero x Ichiru Forever!"_ and stomped on the jigsaw, stamping Ichiru's face with his shoeprint. Sure, they were close; so close that they'll end up killing each other in their love-hate brotherly relationship.

Before he could insert the key, he heard a very faint heartbeat coming from the apartment. His gut was telling him it was a vampire but logic concluded that it was definitely not Ichiru. It could not be Ichiru because his damned clone was away with Kaito to a hunter-vampire meeting. Well, technically it was Ichiru pretending to be _Kiriyu Zero_ attending a hunter-vampire crisis meeting with Kaito. Perhaps the only one who could tell which Kiriyu was attending was Kuran Kaname himself. Well, he did send Ichiru out because he knew Kuran would be there and it will piss the pure-blooded demon off. Serves him right because he had messed up with the Aidous and he had explanations to do.

He heard a faint sigh, he knew that _sigh_. Nevertheless, he whipped out his gun, twisted the key, and flung the door open. He immediately saw the _intruder_. It was his dishevelled blond haired, turquoise eyed Level-B _acquaintance_ slumped against a wall.

_Aidou Hanabusa.._

"What the hell are you doing here?" he aimed his gun right between those pretty blues.

_Stop running to me every time you get upset, stupid blond princess..._

Aidou did not say anything but stared blankly at him.

"Aren't you supposed to be at the friggin' meeting?"

The blond head of hair shook from side to side, "Ne... Got any _moonshine_?"

_Moonshine...? Alcohol...? What the hell...?_

"No...What's the deal with moonshines? The next thing you'll ask is if I've seen a cow jumping over the moon. Sorry, I'm underage. Go home senpai..." he snorted.

Cue a melodious ringtone. It was hurting his ears.

"Answer it blondie...!"

Aidou did not move so Zero tucked his gun away and stalked towards Aidou, rummaged through the crumpled overcoat and found the annoying device.

_Yuuki-sama_.

He saw the name flashing on the screen. Instantly, he dropped the gadget onto the floor like it was laced with anthrax and kicked it away towards the door.

Cue the door opening and the impious twin stepped in.

Ichiru saw Aidou and grinned mischievously, "No wonder the Aidou murder hearing got cancelled. Why he's here holing up with you, Zero?"

"I have no fucking clue why he's here damnit!" he barked at Ichiru. "Now help me throw him out!"

"Tch... right," the lopsided grin took on some wickedness. "Ara.. What's this?" before Zero could react, Ichiru had picked it up Aidou's metallic blue phone, studied the screen and pressed the dial button.

Zero dragged Aidou by the arm and tried to snatch the device away from Ichiru. However, Ichiru had weaved around them and elbowed him painfully in the ribs.

Caught-off guard, he heard Ichiru speak, "Yuuki-sama...?"

_He had CALLED Yuuki...? That, that, that... Ichiru, you imbecile!_

"No, no... This is Kiriyu Ichiru..." Ichiru stuck a tongue out at him when he lunged and missed again.

"Hai... He's okay..." Ichiru grinned when Zero accidentally tripped over Aidou's uselessly limp legs on the floor while attempting to wrap his arms around the silver haired, tattooed monkey; his fucked-up biological clone.

"Need.. to... get... wasted... and forget... everything..." Aidou had chosen that moment to spew out more nonsense.

Zero could hear the little gears in Ichiru's diabolical mind cog into action when he said the next sentence, "Aidou-san wanted to get drunk with Zero and I. Bring some booze if you care and want to _make up _to him... You know what I mean..." And he hung up.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO?" Zero yelled at Ichiru who immediately plugged his ears with his fingers.

"What the hell did... uhhh Ichiru? Do...?" Kaito's head popped into the room. The timing could not have been better.

_I'm doomed..._ Zero thought as Ichiru _ordered _a scowling Kaito to buy liquor. Afterall, Kaito was the only one who can legally buy them. The smirk on Kaito's face told him that Ichiru's ridiculous wish was going to be granted after all.

Twenty minutes later, the small twelve by ten foot, two-bed apartment were crammed with four Level-Bs who had called Aidou's phone out of concern and had been ordered by Ichiru to bring liquor, a bored looking hunter who had previously gone out to buy alcohol for a bunch of under aged errr... vampires, a set of vampire hunter twins who had been squabbling non-stop by the door and a flustered pureblood princess who had been failing miserably to convince Aidou that the alcohol he was chugging down was going to kill him.

"I saw Kuran chop my father's head off! I don't care if the damn booze'll turn my liver into a rock! It's called cirrhosis... Why can't you even remember your damn lessons...?" Aidou bellowed out of the sudden.

Yuuki bit her lip and anguished tears quickly escaped her eyes.

"It's Kuran-SAMA...! How dare you raise your voice at Yuuki-sama...?" Ruka finally exploded and launched up from the desk she was leaning against but Kain held her back.

Shiki and Rima huddled closer together on Zero's neatly made bed and watched the scene in silence.

Yuuki cried even harder.

Zero glared at Ichiru and Ichiru glared back.

Kaito snickered in amusement.

"Why are you _all_ here...? I just wanted to see Kiriyu and drink till my brain melts!" Aidou rose up to his feet and stomped towards the door but Ichiru blocked him.

"Why?" asked Ichiru.

"Coz I need to talk to someone who had seen his OWN parents murdered by a pureblood to tell me that I'm suffering more than him! YOU, the evil twin from sheol should know your place before you decide to ask me WHY!" Aidou's fury choked the room.

Yuuki cried even harder and Rima had moved to console her.

Zero glared daggers at Ichiru who immediately looked away.

It was Kaito who had broken the awkwardness, "Hey, hey... Chill peo... err.. Vampires." He stood up and ran his fingers in his hair. "Let's all help Aidou get over this, ne...?"

Instantly, eight pairs of angry eyes were trained on him. Kaito felt like a lone gazelle about to be gored by a pack of lions. He summoned his courage, gulped and continued, "Let's do a cheer up party for Aidou-kun here. If he wants to chug it away then let's help him get it all out..." Kaito gulped again when Zero whipped out his gun and aimed at him.

"Except for you, we're all under-aged here Kaito..." Zero warned.

"Let's do it..." Shiki's response surprised everyone and the rest was history.

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"God Ru-hic.. Ka! You're a slut...! Hee... Heee!" Yuuki slurred, waving her bottle of expensive champagne as Ruka gyrated suggestively in front of Kain.

"Strip, strip, strip on my bed... You vamp bitches, strip!" Ichiru yelled while clamping his hands over Zero's eyes. The liquid form his sixth bottle of beer spilled onto the floor in the process.

Shiki was nudging Rima to join Ruka dirty dancing on Ichiru's destroyed bed.

Aidou was holding a very livid Kain back, giggling like a girl.

Rima smacked Kaito's hands off her butt and grinded her hips against Ruka's.

"Lemme go fool, I'm 2.5 minutes older than you... urgh! Take this!" Zero pried Ichiru's fingers off and tipped his gin filled mug into Ichiru's mouth.

"Wooot...! I wanna... I wanna ~hic..." Yuuki got up to her wobbly feet, whacked the intoxicated but very much panicked Kain with her bottle and clambered onto the bed.

"NoOOoo Yuuki ~hic sama! Ka-Kaname'll ~hic fuck kill me! Git dooooown...!" Aidou screamed while pulling her back by her skirt.

Ichiru giggled and pulled one of Aidou's cheeks, "Oh, stop it...! I wanna see panties... Her damn brother ugh.. Killed your daddy so whadda ya hafta care!"

"Z... do sumthin..!" Aidou pleaded to Zero and kicked Ichiru off him.

Zero pretended not to hear and watched Ruka's and Rima's sloppy swaying bodies in disgust. Kaito's lewd remarks were scorching his ears.

"Everybody stop!" Shiki's voice boomed. He sounded drunk. They had never heard his voice that loud before. He's not slurring, meaning he's not that wasted, but drunk.

Zero arched an eyebrow because he smelt trouble.

"Wha Shiki...? I wanna peel ~hic ooops.. Feel Ruka's bwebs... Thy'ere ohsome~hic licous!" protested Rima making Ruka laugh out loud.

In response, Ruka tugged one of Rima's pigtails with her teeth.

It was getting out of control.

"I say we play a game... Spin the bottle!" the maroon haired vampire spun one of Ichiru's forgotten beer bottle on the floor.

The others groaned.

"Lame, lame, ~lame...!" Ichiru jeered.

Kain nodded too enthusiastically while gulping half a bottle of soju.

"No... Give it a go. The person who spin it gets to ask the randomly chosen person a yes, no question. If the answer is yes, the person spinning gets to punish the randomly chosen person..." Shiki explained. "If it's a no, the chosen person can punish anyone in here."

"Wait a minute, let say I spin and Ruka was chosen. I ask Ruka if she reads porn and she said no... She gets to punish anyone she wants like... make the Kiriyu twins kiss each other. Right?" Kaito smiled like a maniac.

Yuuki's and Aidou's eyes lit up and both of them licked their lips.

Zero caught every action and cringed, "What the fuck...? I'm outta here! Get other game props or just use this one..." Zero grabbed the snickering Ichiru and shoved him to the centre of the room.

Ichiru made a sad face and pouted at Zero, "Come ooOOoon... This could be fuuuun, Zero-rin. It has been too long since you ~kiiiiiiissed meeee!"

"Don't call me that and no way..! Kiss yourself in the mirror... You won't notice the difference," Zero growled, shoving the very persistent Ichiru who had continued to grope him. He was feeling tipsy himself but Ichiru's state of delirium meant that his younger brother had a bit too much.

"Awwww... come oooon..."

"No!" Zero growled and bashed Ichiru on the head.

Ichiru rubbed his aching head and glared at Zero, "Cooperate Zero or else..."

"Or what?" he challenged the doppelganger.

OrI'lltelleveryonethatthere'soneof-ourbodypartthat's ~hic !"Ichiru ranted.

"Surprisingly... Not-so-identical-at-all..." Ichiru grinned meaningfully at Zero.

"Despite-of-us-being.. ~hic Identical-twins-and-shit!" Ichiru continued and punctuated with a manic laugh.

The other vampires were gaping at the two silver haired vampire hunters. Matching tattoos;check. Matching earings;check. Matching haircut;check. Equal build,check. Matching personality;fail. But _personality_ is not a _bodypart._

"Oh riiight.. I've see it in the showers. It's your ...mmppph!" Kaito could not finish because Zero had slapped his palms against Kaito's mouth and hissed out a low warning.

"Reaaaally? I ~hic wanna knoooow..." demanded Yuuki.

"Tell, tell, ~tell...!" Aidou leaped onto Ichiru's bed and urged Ruka and Rima to chant along but the two females shoved him away.

"Reaaaaally...? You reaaaaaly wanna know? ~Okie dokieeee..." Ichiru leered while grinning at Zero.

Zero paled, "You wouldn't dare..."

"Oh yes I ~would... I even have the ~picture kept in the... mmmpphhh!" Zero tackled Ichiru onto the floor and the two wrestled. They were both stripped down to their Day Class uniform white button-up shirt and dark pants so at the moment they were impossible to be told apart.

"Shit! Get Ichiru ~hic off Zero. No... Zero off Ichiru. Huh? Stop it...!" Kaito grabbed a trashing pair of legs while Kain grabbed the other Kiriyu twin.

The two vampire hunters glowered murder at each other.

"Hell, ~hic wich twin is whiiiich...?" Aidou griped, fisting his hair like a drama-queen.

"Hiou Shizuka is a horny bitch..."Shiki drawled out of the sudden.

"Fuck you!" the silver haired vampire in Kain's _possession _screeched angrily.

"...That's Kiriyu Ichiru," Shiki smirked and opened another bottle of rum.

"Hold it right there... The game, the game... I'll recap. First spin the bottle. Second ask question. A yes, the spinner would be punished but if it is a no, anybody could be penalised. Right...?" Kaito smirked.

"Right..." said Shiki.

"I recommend that all of the punishment should be directed to the cursed twincestic twins!" Kaito hollered and immediately everybody else but Zero cheered.

Ichiru snickered and quickly attached himself to the horrified Zero.

"That's it. This is crazy! Get the fuck out, all of you!" Zero lost it, picked himself off the floor and wrung his hands in the air. He searched the trashed space for his gun and to his consternation; it was nowhere to be found.

"Shaddap Z... This iiiizzzz MY party. Minna... focuz on punnishin the twins. That'z an ohder ~hic!" Aidou had jumped atop of the desk.

The rest of them had their eyes trained on the glowering Zero and the snickering Ichiru rolling on the floor.

"Yes sir!" all of them chorused. And the rest was history.

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"My ~hic question is..." Ruka tried her best to hold up her head, "Shiki... You eat nothing but pocky for breakfact, lunch, dinner and supper..."

"Yes..." Shiki answered without batting his eyes. He took a swig from his bottle and prepared to lay out his _request._

"Whaaa... That'z so weak ~hic. Ya could do betta than dat...!" Aidou complained.

"Shut it, girly boy!" Ruka took Aidou by the collar and shook him.

"You lost Ruka.. Give Ichiru a peck on the cheek in front of Kain..." said Shiki.

"What...?" Ichiru screamed and hugged a squirming Zero.

Zero growled and punched Ichiru squarely in the gut. He had enough of the horrid _requests. _Both he and Ichiru had touched the tips of their noses with their tongue, sang the Humpty-Dumpty song, impersonated the Ouran Host Club's Hitachiin twins 'forbidden brotherly love' scenes, wore bunny ears, and danced to an Abba song.

"Peck Ichiru on the cheek in front of Kain, Ruka..." Shiki demanded.

"My body's solely for Zero! Kill me, brother... I rather DIE!" Ichiru hugged Zero's legs and to begged mockingly.

The room erupted in outrage, Ruka pretended to pass out.

"~Damn twiiiiincestic twins!" Aidou laughed, clutching his stomach.

"Kyaaaaa wha ~ever... I'm spinniiiiiiiing...~" Yuuki grabbed Rima's half full beer and spun the bottle on the floor, sending sprays of beer flying around.

"Eeeeeewwww!" Ruka snapped up from her pretend-faint, while the rest of them scrambled away from the bottle.

The thing stopped right in front of Zero making Yuuki squeal in delight.

Zero paled and gulped.

"Jaaaaaackpot!" Aidou jumped up and popped a bottle of Yuuki's expensive champagnes.

"Ask a nuclear-bomb ~hic, one Yuuki-sama..." encouraged Rima in her monotone.

Yuuki studied Zero for a few seconds, summed up her mind and spoke quite clearly despite of her obvious state of intoxication.

"Are you still a virgin, Zero?"

"~Baaaaaaanzaaaaaaaiiiii...!" to their surprise, it was Ichiru who yelled. "Don't lie ~ Zero!"

Zero grabbed Ichiru by the neck, and silenced him in a vicious headlock. He stared unbelievingly at Yuuki. If it was not for Yuuki, he would have exterminated the vampire asking that particular question with his bloody gun; once he could find it. Now, the seven pairs of drunken eyes were waiting for his answer.

Ichiru broke away and though he was going to enjoy himself watching Zero sweat, he knew about it anyways.

The air was getting tenser and tenser.

Fisting his damp, sweat soaked silver hair; Zero sighed and gave a curt, "No."

"Jaaaaaackpot!" Aidou jumped up and down, and popped another bottle of Yuuki's expensive champagne.

The atmosphere collapsed like a swelled up typhoon.

Yuuki sank to her knees and punched a hole into the floor with her pureblood vampire strength.

Kain closed his eyes and nodded knowingly.

Shiki raised an amused maroon eyebrow and hid his smile behind his palm.

Kaito scratched his head in dismay.

Ruka could not care less.

Ichiru hugged the defeated Zero and planted sloppy wet kisses on both of Zero's cheeks before muttering something like '_secret', 'safe', and 'us'. _

"...And we have a nuclear-scaled ~hic, answer minna-san..." quipped Rima in her monotone.

"Pick someone to punish, Zero... You gave a _no,_" said Shiki.

Zero rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

Ichiru grinned, swaggered towards Yuuki, hoisted her up to her feet and dragged her towards Zero like a ragdoll.

He shoved the bewildered Yuuki into Zero's arms. "Here, kiss her. You like her ~don't cha?"

"Ooooooooohhhhh... Kiss, kiss, ~kiss...!" Aidou chanted and surprisingly Kain and Kaito joined the chorus.

Rima and Ruka's eyes grew as wide as saucers.

There was a moment of hesitation on Zero's part but he caved in eventually. The alcohol had clouded his judgement.

Yuuki trembled as Zero's alcohol stained fingers snaked into her hair, supporting her head. She saw Zero's fathomless amethyst eyes glaze, his breath mingling with hers when he closed the last few inches separating their faces. The loud vulgar hoots and remarks in the background faded the moment she savoured the warmth of Zero's lips ghosting against hers. She felt Zero's strong arm wrapping around her waist, pulling her flush against him, her heart thumped faster and faster.

Unable to withstand the anticipation, Yuuki closed her eyes.

Suddenly, Zero's deliciously warm body was wrenched away from her.

Yuuki's world tilted and she found herself falling towards the floor. A pair of hands caught her by the shoulders before she could hit the hard wood. Another pair of hands clamped over her eyes and she could see nothing.

The room was in an uproar.

"OMG...! Kaname-sama just came out of the closet!" a female voice shrieked. _That's Ruka!_

"What the fuck! There's five bottles of cognac in there... He's pissed drunk. How long has he been in there? Get him off Zero...!" she recognized Kaito's frantic tone.

"Ain't you gonna do sumthin bout it? Dat's your ~friggin twin!" _that was Aidou_ _ranting at Ichiru _thought Yuuki.

"...and waste great foreplay...? Tongue him, Zero! Be proactive...! Defrost already...! Wait for ~me!"

"~Whoooaaaaa... ~Damn twiiiiincestic twins! Dis iz the ~hic best party eveeeeeer...! Where's my ~hic phone? Pizture thyme...!" it was Aidou ranting again.

"Git Yuuki-sama ~outta ere!" she identified the slurry mellow voice as Kain's.

"Rima... Time to go!" Shiki's hands never left her eyes.

"What the hell's going on...!" she wailed as a delicate pair of female hands tugged hers and she found herself being dragged away.

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A/N- Review... review... Don't run away... Don't break my damn twisted heart...^^ Leave a suggestion if you want another one of this senselessness. I didn't come out with this on my own... Hope you love it Kim! **Happy Belated ~Biiiiiirtday...!** Again.

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	2. Yaoi Bishies

Warning: Crack, OOC, bad sense of humour, random senselessness, extreme perverseness by some random characters, Ichiru's alive and looks exactly like Zero. E-X-A-C-T-L-Y alike. Coz I love the twins.

Disclaimer: Too many. I'm guilty. Don't sue.

Beta: Her Little Doll

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The Twincestic Twins Follies: Yaoi-Bishies

"I could die. I could fucking die right now..." Zero mumbled.

"Oh, come on. It's not that bad. Just wave back. Here, like this." Ichiru broke into one of his fake smiles, raised his right hand and waved.

Zero grabbed Ichiru's hand and held it down firmly by his side. Wrong move. Zero heard a deafening din; the "oohs", "aahs" and the shrill scream of the girls- ear-piercing beyond belief- almost tore his sensitive eardrums.

"Kyaaaaaaaaaaa~ OMG he's jealous!" Creature No. 1 who had a braided yellow wig on screeched. Her get-up consisted of an oversized red coat, black boots and a fake metal hand. Actually, she was holding the prosthetic _limb _in her right hand, hiding it under her long sleeve. She also had a strange pink, heart-shaped nametag that was scribbled with, _'E. Elric__ (Tomiko)__'_pinned on her chest.

"They're so fuck-ably sexy!" Creature No. 2 swooned; she had short black hair, strange blue military outfit and wearing a pair of white gloves with red cultish pentagrams. She was also wearing a ghastly pink nametag. Hers read _'R. Mustang__ (Ayano)__'__. _She was drooling and Zero tried his best to restrain his urge to punch her teeth out- he didn't hit girls.

"Look, look, look, Ciel. They are twins, real twins!" Creature No. 3 squealed to another creature wearing an eye patch and attempted to grab one of Ichiru's _cheeks. _Creature No. 3 was as equally strange looking as the previous two but at least she was wearing a red girly dress. Her green contact lenses nearly fell out of her bulging eyes, blond hair tied up into two over-the-top, curly pigtails and she wore a red, flowery headband. She had written _'E. Middleford__ (Gwen)__'_on her tag. Zero swatted _Middleford__'__s_ hand away and glared. The sex-offender named _Middleford_ backed off with a pained whimper.

Ichiru chuckled and pulled Zero back by the arm. Zero had forgotten his strength again and was brought back to reality by a hoard of screaming, panting, drooling, photo snapping, multi-coloured, odd _females _dressed like flamboyant males, and few equally odd looking males dressed too femininely for his taste- if he _had_ a taste for that sort of thing. The last time he checked, he couldn't even tell the difference between a skirt and a skort. These males even wore make-up. '_Gross,__'_thought Zero.

"Spoil sport." Ichiru pouted and punched Zero lightly on the arm. The bizarre creatures saw the gesture and the screams intensified to a few decibels higher. They circled around them tighter than ever before.

'_This isn__'__t Halloween... What are these creatures?__'_Zero had enough. Grabbing Ichiru by the scruff of his olive green, hunter overcoat, Zero dragged his bewildered twin away from the crowd towards the hotel grand entrance. He pushed pass people who were toting strange plastic toy weapons- most of them were sporting nylon wigs, masks, fake blood, clip-on earrings and draw-on tattoos. _'__Heck those tattoos are so tacky; they make mine look like a masterpiece by Matisse,__'_ thought Zero.

Zero was studying the massive crowd lining up in front of the entrance when suddenly Ichiru wiggled out of his grasp and pulled him to stand beside a hideous, 6-foot-tall plastic palm tree. "Now what?" Zero hissed. "We were supposed to get to the Periwinkle Hall and watch over the goddamned conference, not get surrounded and harassed by a group of crazies! And I can't believe somebody would name a place 'periwinkle'. It's so uninspiring, lackluster..."

"Shush Zero. I'll tell you about the conference later. Look!" Ichiru pointed towards a black limousine pulling up by the entrance.

"Are we stalkers now?" Zero sneered but he looked anyways.

"Technically, yes; we _are_ hunters. Stalking is part of the job; we stalk, we aim and we shoot, simple. Now, shush!" Ichiru chuckled as Zero glowered in irritation.

The chauffer opened the passenger's door and a pair of slender, white stocking-ed, canvas shoed feet swung out and stepped out onto the pavement. The owner of said feet had long silky chocolate tresses. Despite of her peculiar two-piece, blue sailor, winter school uniform and the pair of lacy yellow ribbons in her hair, she looked startlingly familiar. Then a tall, handsome, brown haired male wearing a long black overcoat and black slacks emerged. Those cool but alert eyes swept across the hoard of squealing females who had brandished out their digital cameras and snapped away. Zero could recognize those vampire siblings anywhere- Kuran Kaname and Kuran Yuuki had arrived.

"Why are they here? Aren't we supposed to watch over a convention? This looks nothing like a convention," asked Zero.

Ichiru grinned impishly and pointed at a very large 4-by-10 meter, very pink banner that spelt _'__Yaoi-Bishie Slash-Con Fest__'_ to Zero. "We're at the right place. This _is_ the convention. Now stop worrying and focus on keeping an eye on the vampires," said Ichiru.

"Who's Bishie?" Zero asked innocently, making Ichiru's eyebrows twitch.

"_Who?_ You mean you don't know, Zero?" Ichiru snickered.

"No, I didn't pay attention during the briefing. Cross rants too much," Zero said absentmindedly as he had his eyes trained on Kuran Yuuki. She was dressing weird and Zero was surprised that Kaname had let her. '_Yuuki__'__s sense of fashion is almost nonexistent but she can__'__t be THAT blind.__'_

"Bishie is a bear who's going to organize a slashing competition during the yaoi festival," Ichiru explained.

"Huh? That sounds dangerous," Zero mumbled. He gave Ichiru a disbelieving look before switching his attention to watch Yuuki again. She was tugging the very reluctant Kaname by the arm. Kaname does not look happy. He was clearly stalling her from approaching a desk with a sign that said 'Registration'.

"Hey, did you hear what I've just said?" Ichiru waved his hands in front of Zero's face to get his attention.

"Yeah, a bitchy yaoi bear is going to compete in a slashing competition during the festival. What a load of crap and I'm not that dumb!" Zero slapped Ichiru's hands away and continued to stare at the pure blooded duo. Ichiru smirked mischievously. Zero was not easy to fool but Ichiru couldn't help but tease his stoic, older brother.

Yuuki was gathering colourful folded pieces of paper that looks like pamphlets and beginning to reading through them with a pink highlighter pen poised ready in her right hand. Meanwhile, Kaname was preoccupied with filling out some forms. Then Yuuki bit on the highlighter so that she could rummage through the contents of her brown schoolbag and pulled out a small, red digital camera. A stack of cue cards fell out of her bag. Ichiru eyed the ring of multi-coloured paper.

Soon after that, Kaname finished filling out the papers. The pureblood vampire siblings made their way into the premise. Ichiru seized up the opportunity to walk towards the crowd and pick up Yuuki's set of colour-coded, 3-by-5 inches, ring-bound cue cards off the floor. Ichiru unfolded it and flipped through the contents. Zero could see Ichiru's shoulders shaking in laughter so he went to stand beside Ichiru. "What's so funny?" Zero asked.

"Read it. Read it yourself," Ichiru snickered and handed the cue cards to Zero.

'_A phallus is a mimetic image of an erect penis. Any object that symbolically resembles a penis may also be referred to as a phallus; however, such objects are more often referred to as being phallic.__'_

Zero wanted to blast the obscene card into tiny smithereens but he was curious so he flipped it and read the next card. Ichiru grinned and waited for his reaction.

' _YAOI __–_

_**YA**__ma nashi,_

_**O**__chi nashi,_

_**I**__mi nashi. _

_Meaning - no climax, no point, no meaning.__'_

Zero had seen the word 'yaoi' before. '_Oh right, the banner,__'_he concluded. Ichiru was urging him to read more:-

' _**SLASH**__ - Genre of fan fiction involving pairing two male or female characters together; characters are commonly shown with a slash in between. An explicit sex scene in any story designated as a lemon. Lime or shounen-ai is simply a less graphic description of sexual acts__'_

"What's all this strange citrusy references?" Zero arched a confused eyebrow. Ichiru rolled his eyes, snatched the cards away, flipped through them, found the card he was looking for and trusted it into Zero's hand. Zero scoffed but read it anyways:-

'_A yaoi __**lime**__: "Suzaku grabbed Lelouch and desperately meshed his lips against the other boy. He could already feel himself growing hard and began to grind sensuously against Lelouch." _

'_A yaoi __**lemon**__: "Suzaku quickly shoved his cock into Lelouch's ass hitting the boy's prostate and making him scream in ecstasy."__'_

Zero blinked his eyes and paled. Zero's reaction made Ichiru burst into a fit of laughter. "Puuu~ I can't believe she noted these down. This her handwriting, isn't it Zero? The royal princess is a pervert!" Ichiru laughed even harder, clutching his stomach and wiped at his tears. Without a word, Zero grabbed Ichiru by the back of his collar once again and dragged him towards the hotel lobby. Ichiru assumed that Zero was heading straight for Yuuki.

"Hold it right there! The two of you must register to participate in the Yaoi-Bishie Con." A girl stopped them by the door. She was carrying a ridiculously large, brown papier-mâché gourd on her back and there was a red Kanji character drawn on the left of her forehead. Zero could not see her nametag but she was wearing a bright green arm band with the word _'__crew__'_stenciled in black. Zero decided to label her as _the Gourd-Creature_.

"Get out of the way before I... mmmpft!" Zero's sentence was cut short because Ichiru had clamped his hand on Zero's mouth. It was only then the _Gourd-Creature _noticed Ichiru. Her previously scornful, severely kohl-lined eyes widened in surprise.

"OMG, twins? Oooooh, you guys are hawt twincest material. Those tattoos look so real. Stick-on tats?" the _Gourd Creature _squealed.

Ichiru released Zero, rubbed his neck and laughed good-naturedly. "Yeah, they're cool, aren't they?" Ichiru beamed at her.

Zero growled at the twincest remark and wanted to plough through the _Gourd Creature, _but Ichiru caught his arm and pulled him back. Consequently, he glared daggers at Ichiru. _'__You__'__re up to no good, Ichiru,__'_he hoped Ichiru got his message. Apparently not, Ichiru simply ignored him and focused on charming the _Gourd Creature _with his ultimate secret weapon- the 'Ichiru 1000 MegaWatt smile'. Zero rolled his eyes.

"Ben, oops... Kakashi-sensei! Come over here and look what I've found," she beamed and called to another _creature_ with spiky, white hair. To Zero's surprise, _Kakashi_ was a guy. Zero stared at the ninja wannabe. He had the full cliché stealth garb on; the head protector, the mask, the fake shurinken strapped onto his thigh and there was the disgusting eye patch again. _'__Great, she has called for back-up.__'_Zero had a bad feeling about it and saw Ichiru grinning back at him.

"I was expecting them, Gaara-chan. They'll be acting as special security observers during the con. But I'm Ben, one of the organizers." _Kakasi _a.k.a Ben held out his hand for a handshake but neither Ichiru nor Zero returned the gesture. Ichiru nodded his head while Zero grunted.

"You must be Kiriyu Zero and Kiriyu Ichiru. I'd no idea that the Kiriyus stated in the letter were twins. Are you two into twincest?" Ben's voice was slightly muffled by his mask but Zero could feel the glee in those words. _'__Not twincest again…__'_Zero's stomach sunk with dread.

"Absolutely," Ichiru's eyes sparkled in mischief. Zero glared, but Ichiru pretended not to notice.

"Ah, just as I thought... I wouldn't be able to keep my paws off too if I had a gorgeous twin like yours," Ben said to Ichiru while eying Zero like a starved hyena.

Zero lost his temper and was about to whack Ben unconscious but Ichiru wrapped his arms possessively around him. "He's mine and _your _paws are off limits," Ichiru said a bit too loudly.

The curious onlookers had heard every single word; their high pitch screams and squeals almost busted Zero's eardrums again. He filtered out the noise, grabbed Ichiru once more and dragged his cackling clone towards the hotel lobby with Ben and a group of 20 to 30 oddly dressed people hot in pursuit.

"Wait Kiriyu! Eh.. Kiriyu and Kiriyu!" Ben was almost out of breath. Zero elbowed through a group of squealing girls. Ichiru waved at them. The girls joined the pursuit.

Zero increased his speed, pulling Ichiru to run side-by-side with him. "Please join the modeling competition and help me attract more visitors!" Ben panted from the exertion.

Zero scoffed at Ben's poor endurance. "And he calls himself a ninja. Tch..." Zero hissed under his breath in disgust, laced his fingers in between Ichiru's and urged his brother to move faster. They had to figure out a way to lose Ben and the mob.

Then they ran pass the information booth. Ben stopped to 'unleash' the crazed females on the twins while he dived for the microphone- Ben's voice boomed through the speakers, "The prize is 100,000 Yen- cash!"

"100,000 Yen?" Ichiru pulled Zero, braking into a standstill. He wrapped his arms around Zero once more. The females immediately swarmed around them. "We're entering the competition, Zero!" he declared.

The females heard the exiting news so their annoying screams grew louder and louder, begging for Zero and Ichiru to act out some twincest live-action. Zero had no clue what a live-action was. They wouldn't stop taking pictures and he was beginning to see blotchy, white spots in his vision. Zero fisted his hair in frustration and glared at Ichiru, "What the hell, are you crazy? We're here because of work."

"Sure we are. We'll enter the competition and use it as our cover. That way, we can blend in the crowd easily."

"Do you think I would buy that lame excuse, Ichiru? Why would you want to blend into this bunch of psychos? You want the cash, admit it!"

"Fine, fine... Yes, I need the money."

"What for? To buy a pony?"

Ichiru's face turned grim, "Have you heard of veneration of the dead? I want to get a white marble name plaque- an ancestral tablet."

"So you will have the complete set? You already _have_ a tombstone." Zero sneered as he recalled the last time he went to the grave with those damned roses. He would have brought a cactus if he had the slightest clue that Ichiru was alive.

"I want to get one for Shizuka-sama."

Zero stared back mutely at Ichiru upon hearing _her_ name. He could never tolerate Ichiru's loyalty to that murderous pureblood vampire who had killed their parents and turned him into a Level-D vampire. Ichiru on the other hand could never get over the fact that Zero had contributed to the path of Shizuka's ruin. Zero had shot her with his anti-vampire bullets and that had enabled a certain pure blooded son-of-a-bitch to deliver the final blow. They had an unspoken truce about the things that had happened in the past and currently, the truce had been breached. The air around them was getting heavier and heavier- invisible sparks of static ignited between the two brothers. The fan girls had sensed the morbid moody downturn and swiftly fled the scene.

"That worked, didn't it?" Ichiru smiled out of the sudden; the tense atmosphere dissolved in a blink of an eye. Zero face-palmed in disbelief- Ichiru ran back towards Ben and snatched the entry form.

"Bishie Reeow~walk Competition- Enthrall the audience with creative interpretations of popular manga or anime characters." Ichiru read the first line stated in the rules and regulations while keeping up with Zero's long strides.

"We are not entering the fucking competition," said Zero. The hotel lobby was teeming with people. Several booths had been set up at the sides, selling all sorts of things. He saw a few vampires mingling in the crowd, blending in easily because of the humans' bizarre make-up. Usually, his and Ichiru's pale colouring made them stand out from any crowd but currently, they looked normal compared to the other visitors. Zero was glad to be able to finally do his job and thankfully, the bloodsuckers were behaving themselves so far.

"Of course we're not entering the _fucking_ competition. Though it _is_ tempting..." Ichiru grinned and avoided Zero's vicious straight jab "it's modeling, fashion, Zero, fashion!"

Zero grunted disdainfully, dismissed Ichiru's dramatic exclamation and searched for a sign that could lead them to the Periwinkle Hall. Ichiru laughed quietly and continued to read. "Participants may come out with an original creative theme, or strut any of the anime and manga fashion apparels. Winners will be judged based on the originality of the presentation and of course on how much can they make the yaoi fan girls' toes curl."

"Yeah, whatever. You can curl all the toes you want as long as you leave me out of this circus." Zero grumbled under his breath.

"And waste our twincestic appeal? We could win this for sure, Zero. You don't have to do anything because your tsundere personality alone will make them go kya, kya, kya. You look hot even when you're constipated. All you have to do is do nothing, say nothing, play along and leave the rest to me."

"That's exactly why I'm worried," Zero mumbled. Ichiru laughed and patted him on the back.

00000000000

"I am not a man!" both Ichiru and Zero heard an angry female voice cut through the din. A crowd had gathered at the end of the lobby- right beside a sign that said, _'__Battle of the Star-crossed Lovers__'__._

The sign alone was enough to make Zero want to bail. He could sense a few vampires clamouring within the group too. Ichiru nudged Zero and pointed to the source of the ruckus. A tall brown haired vampire was arguing with a petite girl dressed like a genie.

"Sumomo says you are a boy! Why won't you give a try at the cross-dressing competition? Your get-up is perfect. Those fake boobies look so soft." the pink genie pouted while waving a yellow sheet of paper.

"I am not a boy either!" The brown haired vampire stamped her feet onto the carpet angrily "and these are real!"

"Oh, come on Ruka, admit it, you're a _girly _enough for this stint. Just get up there and do your stuff," Zero saw a blue-eyed blond speaking. _'__Aidou Hanabusa and Souen Ruka? Great, those two are here so it means...__'_ Zero searched for any signs of a ginger-haired vampire.

"Let's just leave, Ruka." The said ginger-haired bloodsucker placed his hand on Ruka's shoulder, ushering her away. Kain Akatsuki. Zero narrowed his eyes. Those three were the Kurans' loyal followers but he could not see the pureblood pair anywhere.

"Hey, Sumomo thinks you must give this competition a try. Do a skit with your blond friend and your boyfriend," the pink genie pointed at Kain. She was addressing herself as a third person again. _'__Tch, childish.__'_ Zero scoffed inwardly. He signaled for Ichiru to get away from the bunch.

"Him?" Ruka huffed indignantly, scowling at the sight of Aidou's lecherous grin. Akatsuki looked crestfallen when Ruka pointed at him, opened her mouth again, saying, "Akatsuki is not my boyfriend."

"I don't buy it. Are you telling Sumomo that _you _are the boyfriend with that kind of chin? You look like an uke to me," accused the pink genie impersonator.

"Uke?" Ruka raised her eyebrows. Kain hid his blush, Aidou broke out in hysterical laughter.

"Yeah, uke las in _ukeru_. He's your seme right? The _semeru_. Come on, don't be shy. Everybody here accepts homosexuality. This is a yaoi convention, my dear," _Sumomo _tried her best to persuade Ruka.

"Ukeru? Semeru? Attack? Receive? Are we playing football?" Ruka knitted her eyebrows together.

"Gawd, you're into it and you don't even know the lingo? How the hell do you guys decide? Ukeru-semeru refers to the active-passive roles you guys play during those.. ahem.. sexy times," the petite, pink clad event coordinator explained to the flabbergasted Ruka. Aidou doubled over, laughing hard- unable to restrain himself any longer. Ruks's dumb stricken face was too hilarious.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Ruka finally sighed in defeat.

"Ah, this is killing me. Ne, Sumomo-chan right? She's really a girl. Here, feel it yourself," Aidou grabbed the pink genie's hand and pressed it against Ruka's chest. Pin-drop silence shrouded the hall, all of the eyeballs present trained on Ruka and _Sumomo-chan _for their reaction.

"Oh my, your plastic surgeon is really good," the pink genie murmured, giving Ruka a firm squeeze.

Ruka fumed, swatted the hand away and bashed Aidou on the head, "Aidou Hanabusa, you pervert! I'll kill you!"

Aidou pouted and rubbed his head- that was when the Level-B vampire saw the twins. Aidou grinned meaningfully and made a beeline for Zero, "Kiriyu Zero, you finally came... Save me!" The blond let out an overdramatic squeal, attempting to hug Zero but Zero had whipped out his gun, the Bloody Rose and aimed it at Aidou's temple. He was careful not to let the metal touch Aidou's skin or else the entire hall would smell charred vampire-skin _fumes_.

"Stay away from me, senpai," warned Zero between gritted teeth. For once he was glad that the strangely dressed visitors were toting toy weapons; his gun could pass for a finely crafted, firearm replica. He could hear faint whispers saying _'__gun-otaku__'_from the crowd.

"Why are you so cold?" Aidou put on a fake hurt expression, enjoying Zero's apprehension.

"Because he has me," Ichiru stepped in, unable to resist the temptation to tease Zero, wrapping his arms around Zero possessively. Zero paled in mortification. Ichiru had done it again so he braced himself for the inevitable consequences. The screams that erupted around them were almost supersonic- eardrum tearing beyond the safe frequency threshold; it was surprising that none of the vampires were bleeding from the ears. Camera flashed again, the bright burst of light photons singed his sensitive optic nerves. Zero felt an epileptic seizure coming up.

"What?" Aidou was beginning to enjoy making Zero-the-stoic-ice-block cringe, sensed Ichiru's mischief, decided to play along and initiated a hissy-fit. "Z, how could you! You and I have history and he's your brother. Apparently, yaoi-sm is not enough for you so you're into twincest now? You are nothing but a despicable, cold-blooded cheater!"

Zero almost pressed on the trigger and emptied his whole cartridge into the cheeky blue-eyed blond if it was not for Ichiru's sudden move- Ichiru had unsheathed his katana halfway out of the scabbard, a smirk plastered on his face as he snarled at Aidou, "Who would want the likes of you- a skinny, whiny, airheaded nitwit? Take a hike, blondie!"

"I dare you pull out that _thing_ in front of me Kiriyu Ichiru! I've seen you brother wield _it_ a few times before and I swear, he's a thousand times better than you. I dare you!" It was hard for Aidou to hold back his mirth but he was not going to lose to Ichiru at any cost. He was referring to the kidnapping incident when he had been thrown in together with Zero not too long ago. He had seen Zero using a sword but presently, he was casting off a whole different innuendo. Some of the onlookers were salivating now, without a doubt conjuring some nastily lewd imaged in their perverted heads. Zero had turned into an ice statue with a _jealous_ Ichiru permanently frozen onto him.

"Why waste my energy to prove your stupidity? Besides, who would take you seriously, parading around with that ridiculously suspicious looking _necklace_?" Ichiru pointed towards a string of neon-pink, 1 meter long strand of marble sized beads hanging around Aidou's neck, "where do you think you are now, blondie? Orleans, the Mardi Gras? Or do you need assistance to use that as a noose?"

"Do not act like you're so innocent. You know exactly what these actually are. I bought them dirt cheap from that lovely onee-san over there. She said these could help me heighten my senses to a whole new level and almost every bishounen like me uses them," Aidou grinned and pointed his finger to a lady dressed in a black and white maid uniform. She waved at Aidou, smiling sweetly in front of dimly lit stand with a sign that says- _'__EroToys__'_

Ichiru realized that Aidou might not have realized that he had accidentally bought a sex-toy and spoke in a solicitous but condescending tone. "I don't need some anal beads to _elevate my senses._ My Zero is earth shatteringly gratifying enough." Aidou had mistaken the term _senses _with his vampiric senses. Aidou gaped, pulled the _necklace _off, hurled it away; the offensive thing got caught in a chandelier suspended from the high ceilings. The neon pink _baubles _made a pretty addition to the glittering crystal embellishments.

The craziness was suffocating Zero, the crowd was screaming again and he could see Ben smiling smugly at the information counter. Ichiru and Aidou's antics were attracting more and more visitors. He could see half of the people whipping out phones- either texting orand yakking into the earpiece like a bullet train, some of them might even had uploaded some sort of footage on their blogs.. Words like _'__hot bishies__'__, __'__bickering__'__, __'__twincest__'__ and __'__threesome__'_buzzed around and to Zero, it translated into a very, very, very bad premonition of the worse things to come.

"What's going on here, minna-san?" suddenly Zero heard an extremely familiar female voice. He turned around and saw the blue-uniform clad ex-adopted sister of his- Kuran Yuuki.

"Three individuals doing their very best at their jobs, apparently," Kuran Kaname wrapped his sarcasm in that smooth, velvety voice- piercing through the din. Zero hated the pureblood vampire more because the perverted bystanders had grown silent, captivated by Kaname-the-royal-prick's presence; he wouldn't be surprised if they suddenly dropped down to their knees and groveled to kiss the demon's hand.

"Ara, we're _honoured_ that you've noticed, _Kuran-sama,_" Ichiru leered, doing very little to mask his hatred towards Kaname.

Zero hissed in irritation, grabbed Ichiru by the elbow to walk away before his hatred towards Kaname escalated out of control. But Ichiru refused to back off without doing damage. Ichiru pulled out Yuuki's forgotten cue cards, waved it at her and winked deviously. Yuuki recognized it- her face flaming red as she rummaged her bag to confirm her dread. Ichiru smirked over his shoulders and mouthed _'__come and get it__'_to her. Kaname's face was unreadable but he immediately towed Yuuki in pursuit of the twins who had walked away with the cue cards.

"Run for it, Zero!" Ichiru broke into a sprint, startling Zero with his sudden burst of speed. Zero tailed after Ichiru but he stopped moments later and glanced back- only to find Yuuki and Kaname running after them. "Just give it back to her, damnit!" Zero sprinted after Ichiru. The Kurans were now pursuing after them even faster.

Zero managed to catch up with Ichiru, their silver hair whipping madly as they weaved in between the merchandise and vendor booths. "This is stupid, Ichiru! Give it back," Zero snarled. Ichiru chuckled at Zero's lacking sense of adventure. Then Ichiru spotted a suitable hiding place behind an unattended counter in a merchandise booth, grabbed Zero's arm and whisked his brother into hiding.

Zero struggled a bit but Ichiru had used his strength to maneuver Zero into the dimly lit enclosure. "Not in a million years. We could use this as blackmail," Ichiru giggled and waved the cue cards in Zero's face. He caught Yuuki and Kaname's aura approaching and pulled Zero to duck behind the vacant counter. "Now cloak your presence, Zero," Ichiru ordered. Soon enough, they felt the purebloods passing by the booth and then faded off; Yuuki and Kaname had run pass them. Ichiru let out a relived sigh and wiped his forehead. Zero felt really stupid hiding in the cramped space. There were humans mingling out beyond the counter.

"The prefects are acting strange," suddenly, a girl spoke from behind them. More importantly, the girl had a Level-B aura. Zero and Ichiru whirled around only to find themselves staring at a pair of oddly dressed vampires crouching right behind them like co-conspirators. The girl–vampire was wearing an orange wig and reddish-brown contact lenses while the boy-vampire had a longish dark grey wig on. He was also wearing contact lenses- his were of deep violet. Both of them were wearing identical dark blue school uniforms which were suspiciously similar to the one that Yuuki was wearing.

Despite of their disguise, Zero could recognize that pair anywhere- the bored expressions they wore, the nonchalant air that surrounded them; the female's soft but uncaring tone was enough to tell him of who they were. "What are you two doing here?" he asked the male vampire but all he did was shrug his shoulders noncommittally.

Ichiru too had recognized them and slapped his own forehead, "Touya and Shiki?" Ichiru snickered, "odd get up. Are you supposed to be a boy, Touya?"

"Uh huh, we're manning this counter. Here," Rima tossed a small box which Ichiru caught all too easily. Then, she motioned towards a huge, towering _thing_- a penis-shaped confectionary covered with chocolate. "Special edition pocky," she added.

Ichiru studied the box and grinned, "Oh, you two are working... This might come in handy, Zero. Let's stay here for a while." Ichiru pulled out a finger-thick pocky-stick, smiling cheekily,"Oh wow look Zero, I'm holding a chocolaty-sweet pee-pee."

"Pe- huh? Wha? What the hell? Are you a pervert now?" protested Zero. He glared at Ichiru who took the disgusting penis shaped, chocolate coated pocky-stick and licked it from the biscuit base to the chocolate tip.

"Hey, I can poke serious fun with this. Pocky-poking-fun. Get it?" Ichiru snickered, determined to tease Zero. He formed an 'O' with his lips and slid the chocolate coated biscuit into his mouth and sucked. He giggled and waved the thing in front of Zero's gaping face. "Wanna take a turn to suck?" he leered.

"Yuck, gross! Get the hell away from me," Zero shoved Ichiru away. "I can never look at pocky the same way ever again!"

"Hey, hey... Look who's talking. You have no right to spew that on me. I'm not the one with the secret vampire boyfriend chasing after my ass. He displays too much interest in you and you did nothing to stop him. Are you trying to make me jealous?" despite of the obvious crap Ichiru was saying, his wicked smile sent chills down Zero's spine.

"Aidou is not- he's not my boyfriend!" it took Zero all his strength and willpower to not to shoot Ichiru right there and then.

Ichiru grinned wickedly, raising one of his eyebrows, "I never said it was Aidou. Is it Aidou now?"

Zero fumed. He whacked Ichiru on the head and glared daggers.

"Too much info, right Shiki?" said Rima out of the blue. The twins had totally forgotten about Shiki and Rima who were still there, crouching down with them behind a hideously gigantic special-edition phallic pocky replica display placed right beside the counter. Shiki hugged his knees tighter and nodded in agreement.

"Gossip material," Shiki drawled.

"I don't care what you think, if one of these stupid lies gets out... die," Zero warned the unflappable vampire duo. Ichiru snicked while chomping down on the rest of his pocky-stick.

"Nice not talking much to you, Touya, Shiki," Ichiru tucked his box of pocky into his coat pocket, "Let's get out of here Zero. I'm bored."

Ichiru pulled Zero up and then out of the booth, careful not to attract any attention, which was nearly impossible because apparently somebody had set up some sort of a ridiculously genius 'alert-system'. Somebody shouted from outside the booth, "There they are, look, the naughty silver-haired twin princes from Tohtetallymaydup Land. Somebody call their ambassadors before they run off to elope again!"

"Hey there, Mister and Miss Tohtetallymaydup Land Ambassadors, we found them, come quick!" another random person called out to a pair of dark haired individuals. Zero had his suspicions about the person who had been able to pull off such a ridiculous _fairytale_ and set up the goofy alert system. It was none other but the arrogant Kuran prick. Ichiru snickered under his breath, amused at the pureblood's childish but effective ingenuity. Such things will only work in a crazy environment like the yaoi convention.

"There they are Kaname!" Zero heard Yuuki's voice as soon as they stepped out of the exhibition booth, ready to bolt away again.

"Kain, Ruka, there- they are at Shiki's pocky booth," it looks like Aidou had joined in the pursuit together with his fanatical gang.

"Ugh, that pocky replica is vile!" Ruka screeched.

"I think it's an informative work of art," Aidou argued.

"They are getting away again," remarked Kain.

"Stop the Kiriyu twins!" Aidou hollered to the curious onlookers, "They are running away from the modeling competition to elope. Get them or else you won't get your twincest live-action!" the second sentence worked like a charm. Soon, Zero and Ichiru were running away from the stampeding mob. Ichiru was cackling gleefully while Zero was muttering every curse word he knew under his breath.

The twins were dashing towards the main entrance when Ichiru abruptly halted his tracks. Zero failed to stop in time so he slammed into Ichiru's back, causing Ichiru to knock over the person standing in their way. The impact sent some objects skittering on the floor, and the three of them fell into a messy tangle of arms and legs on the marble floor. They were scuffling to get back up onto their feet when the other person spoke.

"Why are the two of you wimpy idiots running?" A deep, familiar male voice intensified Zero's headache- Yagari Touga has arrived.

"Maa, maa.. Yagari. It's normal for kids to be energetic. Ara, is that a stampede heading this way?" Cross's sickly sweet sing-song voice made Zero's head throb even more. Yuuki and Kaname were leading the stampede- her dark blue uniform askew but Kaname's face was unreadable as ever despite of his uncharacteristic behaviour. Zero could see Aidou, Kain and Ruka pursuing at the back of the mob.

"Ah, got to go. Bye-bye!" Ichiru grabbed the cue cards and ran off, leaving the bewildered Zero to deal with Cross and Yagari by himself.

"Don't let Zero get away!" Yuuki yelled at Cross. She halted in a screech and searched for something. Smiling, she picked a metallic object off the floor, gabbed Zero's left wrist and snapped it on. Kaname sauntered over a millisecond later and she grabbed the pureblood's right wrist and secured Zero to him. "Now you can't get away Zero. You're going to be my hostage!" Yuuki smiled triumphantly at her accomplishment. However, her smile faded as soon as she smelt burnt skin.

"What the fuck have you done? Get this thing off!" Zero stared at his hand which was currently attached to Kaname's with a pair of suspicious looking contraptions made of blackened metal, anti-vampire metal- a pair of hunter-made handcuffs. Yuuki had chained him to the demon. There was no keyhole in the cuff around his wrist; Zero, being a hunter should be able to deactivate such devices with ease but this time- he couldn't. Zero growled, frustrated. Kaname narrowed his eyes, clearly equally detesting his new _attachment _to the vampire hunter.

Cross had burst out laughing, rolling on the floor while Yagari clicked his tongue in disapproval. "Those are Ichiru and Kaito's prototype- dual-warded cuffs, Zero. Those two are the only ones who can deactivate it," said Yagari sympathetically. He had been keeping them in his back-pocket; they fell out during the collision and Yuuki had accidentally picked them up.

"Can't you get the thing off, Shishou? What do you mean by a prototype?" Zero shook his hand in frustration.

Yagari was about to explain but Cross cut him off, "Erm, actually it was I who had asked Ichiru-kun to work on this new _invention. _There's nothing special about the cuffs itself but the beauty is in the warding spell; only the particular hunter who cast it can undo it." Cross was smiling mischievously, his eyes sparkling behind his owlish spectacles. "As for that prototype, Ichiru-kun placed the ward on one of the pair while Kaito-kun did the other one. They've scribbled their initials somewhere."

Zero paled, he studied his cuff and saw a tiny 'T.K' scratched onto the metal surface- Takamiya Kaito. _'__I__'__m doomed,__'_Zero saw Kaname's brows twitching as the pureblood vampire stared at a 'K.I' marked using a correction pen. Both of them knew that there was no way Ichiru would let Kaname go without inflicting a significant amount of torture. Moreover, there was no telling of what kind of Machiavellian scheme that Ichiru would come out with.

Consequently, Zero's temper had gone way up beyond his cut-off limit; he whipped out his gun and aimed it at Kaname's head, "Cut your own hand off Kuran before I vaporize you into sparkly crystal shards."

"Zero!" Yuuki panicked, "I didn't know. It's not Kaname's fault."

"Not his fault? You strapped me to _him_. This wouldn't have happened if he had stopped you from coming here, dressed in that shorter than short skirt. And why are you carrying those outrageous cue cards?" Zero berated the pureblood princess.

"Watch your words, Kiriyu," Kaname warned Zero; the vampire hunter was crossing the line. Adoptive brother or not, Yuuki is his fiancé and he was not going to let Zero walk all over her. Zero's concern about Yuuki's suggestive school uniform kindled his jealousy. As for the cue cards, they baffled Kaname too. _'__Why did she note those inappropriate things down and drag me to this circus?__'_

Clearly Zero's words had hurt Yuuki; tears welled up at the corners of her eyes and she bit her lip. "I've been doing some writing of my own. I'm dressing this way because I'm cos-playing my favourite manga character. I'm so sorry, Zero."

"Your apology won't get me out of this thing. We're dealing with Ichiru and Kaito, silly. I'll kill you!" Zero had completely ignored Kaname. The pureblood prince regarded Zero with undisguised hatred; he was about to use force and eradicate the insolent Level-D off the face of the planet but Aidou cut him off.

The blond had stepped up and caught Zero by his collars. "How dare you threaten Yuuki-sama? She can do whatever she sees fit," he hissed. Aidou was behaving suspiciously. "Know your place or I'll kill you myself." Kaname had the feeling that Aidou was trying to save Zero from his wrath, or maybe trying to save him from breaching the hunter-vampire peace treaty. Aidou had a soft spot for Zero, often running to the latter every time he felt troubled. It annoyed Kaname to death but he refused to show it.

"Fuck off Aidou before I decide to kill you too," Zero seethed. He used his right hand to shove the noble-class vampire away. Aidou glared at Zero and Zero glared back.

It was downright insolent to utter those kinds of words in the presence of vampire royalty but looking back at Zero's track record, he was more than capable of delivering those threats. _'__Before I decide to kill you too?__'_ Kaname found Zero's statement strange. '_Was he not ever ready to destroy any vampires on sight?__'_Kaname wondered what distinguished Aidou from the other _mangy vampires_ in Zero's book. The thought alone made his blood boil. Then he was stunned; was he jealous? He mentally smacked himself and immediately put on airs.

"I suggest you to summon that ill-mannered brother of yours and give Yuuki back what is hers. Empty threats cannot unstitch the current _state of affairs. _The fact that you cannot get this contraption off proves that you are indeed useless," Kaname raised up his hand to study the device shackling him to the short-tempered vampire hunter. It looked like any ordinary pair of handcuffs; he tried to bend the metal but he immediately felt a jolt of energy, like electric zapping his fingers. Zero must have felt it too from the other end because the ex-human bristled and hissed at him.

"I definitely did not _choose _to be chained to you, Kuran. It'll make me look like I'm your damn useless, neutered _mutt_," Zero said something totally out of everybody's expectation. Aidou and Yuuki looked horrified, Ruka was smirking while Cross, Yagari and Kain were equally stumped beyond words. _'__The prideful hunter was degrading himself? Getting chained to him is going to be interesting after all,__'_ Kaname laughed inwardly.

"Ugh, is that a smirk, Kuran...? You like the idea lot don't you, sick bastard?" Zero snorted at Kaname, "That'll never happen, I assure you."

"Even if you were a K-9, you would never be good enough. You're tainting Kaname-sama with your mere presence, Kiriyu!" said Ruka.

Zero scoffed upon hearing Ruka's opinion. "The same goes to you, bitch."

"I'm disappointed in you, kid," Yagari finally said something. Zero's was behaving out of character. Handcuffs couldn't affect vampires mentally; there were a few explanations as to why Zero was acting strange, Yagari suspected. Either Zero was mad because Ichiru had not told him about the restraints he was working on together with Kaito or Zero was feeling bitter because Ichiru had ran off, deserting him. It looked like Zero had grown fond of his brother more than Yagari had anticipated. The exaggerated, over the top atmosphere at the convention must have messed up Zero's brain functions too.

"Disappointed? Well I'm disappointed too, Shishou. What the hell are you doing here with him while carrying these fucking useless cuffs? Why does anybody need two different wards on a single pair? The thought alone caused me to conjure some very nasty ideas. How exactly are you planning to use this? Who would need such a ridiculous thing as this, this _thing_," Zero rambled quietly to Yagari while pointing a finger reprovingly at Cross. Zero's voice was lowered, only audible to Yagari but the vampires had caught every word- curse their extraordinary hearing ability.

"Kiriyu-kun..." Cross warned Zero, "its a prototype." It seemed that the old croon had overheard. Too late, the vampires had conjured up some very gross images in their minds. Aidou and Ruka had even started arguing about who is topping who based on Cross and Yagari's chins. Yagari snorted in disdain while Cross blushed pink.

"Minna-san, it's not what you think..." Cross wrung his hands in the air. Zero smirked, feeling satisfied. Even Yagari said nothing but Zero noticed sweat beading on his forehead- a tell-tale sign of his nervousness.

"Whatever... And you, Kuran- you're boring me. With all due respect, hold out your hand; I'll chop it off myself," drawled Zero. Yuuki gasped, horrified. Kaname's temper was worn down by the edges; Zero was really testing his patience.

Aidou decided to take action, stepped forward again and bowed to Kaname. "I'll get Kiriyu Ichiru and get you out of this mess," he said quietly. Zero glared at the blond, without a doubt Aidou was having one of his _I-love-Kaname-sama-so-I-will-die-for-him_ moments. Then, he disappeared. The crowd of spectators was still watching the whole event in rapt fascination.

"Attention, visitors, participants of the Bishie Reeow~walk Competition, please gather in the Periwinkle hall for the ultimate 100,000 Yen showdown- hey!" Ben's voice boomed through the PA system but he was interrupted by some bickering in the background, a series of thumps and thuds before a very, very familiar voice resounded in the halls, "Gimme that, hah! Test, test... Oh, I'm on? Okay... And be sure not to miss out the highlight; an ethereal White Knight chained to his dark-brooding, King. Shall we demand for a kiss? Let's hear your hormone drenched screams bitches!"

"Aidou Hanabusa!" Ruka's angry cry was barely audible in the commotion.

"What the fuck?" Zero lost it, fisting his hair in disbelief. He shot a punch, aiming for Kaname's face but the pureblood vampire caught the fist; the look Kaname had on his face can be translated as pure wrath. Kaname's aura was straining against his faltering control. Yuuki was torn between trying to calm Kaname down and containing Cross's excitement. Yagari huffed, shaking his head from side to side in dismay. Kain was trying his best to keep back the crowd from glomping his pureblood lord.

"Kaname-sama, are you entering with an S&M theme?" Rima had appeared along with Shiki. The crowd recognized the famous model pair and screamed anew.

"OMG, OMG... It's Shiki and Rima. Can I have an autograph?" one of the girls squealed.

"Didn't you notice them before? I bought 50 boxes of the limited addition pocky and they signed on my boobies," boasted a very stupid girl.

"Kyaaaaa~ I've always loved Kyo the nekozuki from Furuba. Do you like cats, Rima?" another one asked.

"Oohhh, Shiki-sama, you make Yuki look so seme-licious," another female had invented a stupid word.

"Hey, is that girl dressed up as Honda Tohru? She's cute," one had finally recognized the character Yuuki was cos-playing. Yuuki's happiness was short lived as soon as one of the fan girls made a comment about Kaname.

"No, no, no... I beg to differ- the dark-haired bishie is way hotter," that particular one was pointing a finger at Kaname. Yuuki wanted to bite her neon green painted fingernail off.

"Hell yeah, hot! The way he stands, chained to his equally drop-dead gorgeous uke is just kyaaaaa!," the comment made Zero's blood boil.

"Hear me once and hear me straight bastard, I'm no where near to being an uke material!" Zero had enough of the yaoi references and glared accusingly at Kaname. "Stop emitting your yaoi-denpa, your _queer_-wave! You're working in parallel to their wavelength. Lower your frequency if you can't help it, fucker."

Kaname in turn, smirked back at Zero and said, "We have no time for this petty banter. You and I have a doppelganger to catch."

"Tch, petty? Pretty funny... Thanks to Aidou, _he_'ll show up," Zero glowered. "I'll win that fucking 100,000 Yen in that gig and burn it in front of him for coming up with this piece of crap for Cross." Zero was mad mainly because Ichiru had deserted him; he gave the handcuff a hard yank, but not hard enough to break Kaname's skin. If the demon bled, the other vampires would be stimulated by the scent of that poison and hell would break loose. He knew- he had tasted it a couple of times before.

"If you can pull the _gig_ off..." dared Kaname.

"I'll kill you if you screw this up," Zero gritted his teeth and glared at Kaname.

"I will personally scatter your ashes on that obscenely gargantuan, chocolate coated phallic fad if you fail to play your part," Kaname threatened.

Yuuki gaped disbelievingly at the two archenemies. "Wait Kaname, Zero...You can't be serious?"

"That Ichiru will pay for this!" Zero and Kaname chorused, realized their _blunder _and glared murder at each other.

Yuuki turned away, her head bowed- she reached into her bag and pulled out her digital camera and hid her smile behind her hand. _'__Kaname and Zero, cuffed together, doing a yaoi act in front of an audience...__'_It could turn out to be one of the awesome-st days in her life after all, if neither of them died in the end. She cringed after a while.

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"Welcome, minna-san, to the Bishie Reeow~walk Competition!" Ben the ninja wannabe hollered into the microphone. The audience in the packed hall went crazy. Ben pranced on the stage, urging the crazed females to cheer even louder. "Now let me introduce my unexpected co-host, the blazing hotness, icy cool, breathtakingly beautiful bishounen-idol from Cross Academy- Aidou Hanabusa. Applause, bitches!"

Loud music thumped, the lights dimmed and a strobe light focused on the curtains. To the audience's delight, Aidou descended, sliding down the heavy red fabric, landed gracefully on his feet, sashayed on the catwalk- twirling his microphone and flashed a disturbingly lecherous grin at the audience. "Ready to wet your panties, gorgeous?" he said sultrily. The crowd went wild. Ruka, Kain, Cross and Yagari was seated in the front rows watching the whole commotion in horror; they had not anticipated Aidou's crazy antics. Whatever the blond was up to, it couldn't be good. _'__Zero and Kaname are in for it,__'_thought Yuuki.

"Let's go on with the show. Give your hand to the Sohma cousins from Furuba, Shiki Senri as his Royal Highness Prince Yuki and Touya Rima as the beastly martial arts hottie, Kyo!"

The curtains were lifted; techo music blasted through the speakers as Shiki and Rima emerged, walking hand-in-hand down on the runaway. The crowd loved them.

"Marvelous, do you want more bitches?" Ben interacted with the audience, urging them to scream louder. Cross and Yuki was enjoying themselves, Yagari stood up and left his seat. Kain and Ruka were sitting there stock-still, watching Shiki and Rima work magic on the catwalk; they were professional models after all.

"More, more, more?" Aidou was working the atmosphere too. The din was overwhelming. They were chanting "Yuki" and "Kyo". "Saa, Kyo-kun, Yuki-kun... Let them have it! Get on with the live-action," said Aidou and the audience went even wilder.

"You're mine, stupid cat!" Shiki acted one of Sohma Yuki's popular catch phrase in the yaoi fandom. The real mangaka would never even dream to come out with a line like that but the Yuki and Kyo was the most sought after pairing in the series- Uke Yuki, Seme Kyo and vice versa.

"Prove it then, you damn rat," Rima's low, sultry voice made the fan girls go wild. She was a head shorter than Shiki, too feminine and graceful to portray the martial-arts nut Sohma Kyo but her play-acting was cool enough to make the fan girls ignore all about it.

Shiki reached out to brush back Rima's orange bangs, running his hand down to her cheeks, using the crowd reactions to prompt his actions. Rima reciprocated Shiki's behavior, placing her hands on his shoulders; she tilted her head as if she was inviting Shiki to capture her lips. The crowd went berserk. When Shiki licked his lips, and closed the gap between Rima and him, a girl standing in front of the stage fainted and had to be carried out of the hall.

"Kiss, kiss, kiss? Get your camera ready, darlings," Aidou had initiated a flash-storm. It must have been a bit overwhelming for Rima because she immediately screened her eyes with her arms. Seeing and sensing her distress, Shiki pulled her to rest her head against his chest, shielding her. From the spectator's point of view, it looked like Shiki was acting possessive. Bad move, the audience took it as a part of their act and the camera flashes intensified by a tenfold.

"Get her out of there!" Ruka yelled, "Aidou you idiot." She glared at Aidou who was smiling apologetically by the podium. The audience then turned their attention to Ruka, booing her and accused her of being jealous. Kain pulled Ruka back to sit on her chair; Shiki took the opportunity to lead Rima away backstage.

"What the hell was that?" Ben commented. "Whatever~ do you want more?"

"Yeaaaaaaaah!" the fan girls roared.

The next contestant wore a pirate outfit. Yuuki had seen better performances. Then the next entry was by a trio of black-leather clad, silver haired characters doing some clumsy fight sequence. Somebody whispered at the back the rows that they were role-playing characters from a gamed call Final Fantasy something.

Then there was someone who had dressed up in an elaborate but revealing kimono, holding a black stuffed animal in her arms- her long black wig trailed down like silken threads. Yuuki thought the odd looking black stuffed rabbit was cute. Her bespectacled companion wore a plain school uniform. The characters looked familiar to Yuuki but she couldn't place them. She smacked her forehead when Ben called the kimono-girl Yuuko because she had forgotten to take pictures when the nerdy boy kissed Yuuko's hand. However, count on Aidou to ruin something in a blink of an eye.

"How the heck is Ichihara Yuuko related to yaoi? Psssssshhhhhh..." Aidou griped maliciously, "Don't tell me it was a guy cos-playing her?"

"Huh? What's wrong with cross-dressing? He worked the stage, wowed all of us; it's totally acceptable," protested Ben.

"Uwaaah, I don't get it!" Aidou rolled his eyes dramatically. "Watanuki and Doumeki would be okay but Watanuki and Yuuko? Pfft, poser... Who's he trying to deceive? We want yaoi, right ladies?"

Not surprisingly, the crowd bought Aidou's words- they booed and demanded for yaoi. _'__Poor guy. Aidou had displayed his bias, abused his __'__idol-powers__'__. Unbelievable,__'_Yuuki sighed in her head. It looked like Aidou was determined to help Kaname get free of Zero by luring the runaway Ichiru out in the midst of the competition.

The next participants' cos-play was perfect. Yuuki liked their sexy act from Code Geass, Lelouch and Suzaku danced together and finished it off with a kiss. Yuuki did not miss a thing, capturing their live-actions with her digital camera. _'__Kaname and Zero would have to do something big to surpass this skit,__'_Yuuki hoped the two archenemies could miraculously learn how to cooperate.

"Lelouch, Suzaku... That was H-A-W-T! Saa.. minna, who will walk away with the 100,000 Yen? And for the last act, Kiriyu Zero and Kuran Kaname will..." Ben announced but he stopped and scrunched his eyebrows together, trying to read the scribbles on the entry form, "try not to kill each other. Huh? Unique theme."

Aidou paled, but he quickly regained his senses; this was the chance to lure out Ichiru and get Kaname out of the cuffs. "Remember, girls, if you like them, SCREAM!" he charmed the girls. Ruka tried to climb onto the stage to get to Aidou but Kain held her back.

Meanwhile, Yuuki saw another hunter making his way over to Cross."Ah, Kaito-kun, you're just in time," Yuuki heard Cross greeting the newly arrived hunter. Yagari was nowhere to be seen.

"What's the emergency?" Kaito asked dryly, studying the hyped surroundings, "Did I miss something?"

Cross said something in reply but his voice was drowned by the excited screams- Zero and Kaname had appeared onstage, standing side-by-side, their faces hard, cold and unmoving. Zero looked like he could murder anybody that crosses his path while Kaname remained still, like a wax mannequin. Kaito spotted the black-metal handcuffs and grinned smugly at Zero.

"Kyaaaaa~ they're the hottest bishies that I've ever seen," Yuuki heard a girl swoon.

"I wanna have your babies!" Yuuki flinched when she heard that one. The girl who said that was cosplaying as Monkey D. Luffy. Yuuki liked her straw hat and pictured a pair of silver-haired, reddish-brown eyed toddlers wearing straw hats waving- calling her 'Aunt Yuuki'; her face burned in mortification. '_Hah, you have to get through me first!__'_Yuuki scoffed inwardly.

"Is that silver hair real? OMG it's real. Can I touch it?" Yuuki rolled her eyes upon hearing that one.

Yuuki could see Zero's clenched fist shaking at his side as he glared at Kaname who was standing by his side. Zero spoke heatedly to Kaname but the dark haired vampire didn't say anything back, his garnet eyes squinted slightly. Much to her surprise, Kaname raised his free left hand and motioned for Aidou to come closer to them. When Aidou came within Zero's reach, Zero grabbed the microphone from the bewildered blond. "Come out Ichiru!" he growled. It was clear to Yuuki that neither Kaname nor Zero had anything planned for their skit. They were simply there to get Ichiru to come out and show himself.

The crowd has no idea of who _Ichiru _was but they screamed anyways, assuming that Zero had started his act. Aidou threw a fit, tried to grab the microphone back but Zero dodged and weaved around, his movements surprisingly swift considering that he had Kaname cuffed to his left hand.

"Who is this Ichiru person? You wanna know ladies? Lemme hear you scream for more!" Aidou had managed to repossess his microphone and ran back towards Ben who was still manning the podium.

Ichiru did not show up. The dark-haired pureblood vampire was beginning to lose his patience; Kaname yanked Zero by his left arm and hauled him to the end of the 4 meter long runway. Zero put up a struggle but Kaname did not yield.

"Let go of me Kuran," Zero pulled out his gun, pressed it against Kaname's heart and glared murder.

The action caused the fan girls to gasp, followed by a brief moment of silence. Yuuki gulped, felt for Artemis which was strapped on her thigh. She was about to launch herself up onto the runway but the audience roar of excitement surprised her.

"Did you see how he whipped out that gun? Kyaaaa!" Yuuki wished that the girl knew that guns were dangerous.

"I like this gun and chains theme. MORE!" Yuuki was itching to tell the yelling girl that the gun and cuffs were real hunter weapons- and that the two gorgeous males glowering at each other on the runway were real vampires.

"The brunette is Kuran Kaname right? Kuran-sama, you're so lucky!" Yuuki saw Kaname's eyebrows twitching when he heard the third girl's callous mention.

"I wanna lick that gun!" Yuuki wanted to advise the pervy girl that Zero would blast her brains out the moment she sticks out her tongue, let alone try to coat his _best friend_ with saliva.

Yuuki scanned the hall. She saw a group of vampires, nobles and Level-Cs standing warily at the back, their eyes locked onto her, waiting for her signal- all tensed and poised to attack Zero. After all, the vampire hunter was endangering a pureblood. There were some hunters standing like sentinels in the midst of the crowd too, faces grim. No doubt they were hungry for some bloodshed. Kain, Ruka and Cross were assessing the scene like hawks. Then Yuuki looked up and saw Yagari observing the scene from the steel walk way high above the stage.

"What are you going to do with that gun, stud?" Ben teased Zero. "Oooh, and interesting theme. Will he kill his lover?" Ben had said a very taboo word. _'__Lover__'_ Zero's eyes darkened dangerously but Kaname did not flinch.

"Zero, don't!" Yuuki hoped Zero could hear her. One wrong move, Zero could start a war right in the middle of the yaoi convention. Yuuki prayed to whatever deities that existed for Zero and Kaname to remain as they were and not do anything rash, for that would trigger a bloodbath. The only thing that was preventing the vampires and hunters from initiating anything was the throng of clueless, hormone charged, humans in the audience.

"You are incapable of robbing me of my life," Kaname smirked. The fan girls stopped screaming, they tuned their ears to Kaname's _lines._ "You would have done it a long, long time ago if you had the heart to pull that trigger," Kaname added oil to Zero's fire. He smiled at Zero; his compact fangs barely visible, illuminated by the harsh stage lights. Kaname could afford to take the risk because of the nature of the competition itself, the two of them was supposed to pose as made-up characters. The girls must be thinking that Kaname was cos-playing as a vampire.

"Kyaaa he's so hot; he looks like Sebastian, _ne_?" the girl saying that was wearing a red dress, her pigtails were slightly askew and she smeared her lipstick at the corner of her lips, "_Demo_, the silver-haired hottie can't be Ciel. His hair is the wrong shade, he's missing the eye-patch and he'll too tall." Yuuki had to agree: Kaname did resemble Sebastian in some ways but Zero was definitely not a Ciel lookalike. His temper alone was an epic mismatch to the said character.

"Why is the uke so angry at his seme? Is this a non-con skit?" another fan girl had said something that could cause Zero to totally flip. Yuuki hoped that Zero missed it.

Apparently, Zero had heard them- he was bristling like a wild-cat, "I'll take more than your life from you, bastard," he said through gritted teeth.

"Intriguing... So my presumption might be wrong; what is that is more that you intend to possess other than my life?" Kaname's words were sharp, venomous- like a knife dipped in poison.

"I suspect I have _taken_ at least half of it-" Zero paused. Kaname cocked his head to one side, puzzled, daring Zero to go on. Zero pressed the muzzle of his gun firmer against Kaname's chest, brought his face closer to Kaname, his lips only a few inches away from the shell of Kaname's ear- he hissed, "Half of this-" he pressed his gun even harder, "you can feel it beating harder and harder for me now can you?" Kaname's eyes widened in shock, he took a step back but Zero persisted, the gun never left its place. It didn't last; Kaname took on his mask of calm but Zero had a faint smirk ghosting his lips.

Yuuki 's face flamed. She could not pinpoint her exact emotions. One part of her wanted to scream at Kaname for behaving like he did, that subtle display of surprise spun her imagination out of control- that Kaname did harbour something for Zero. Kaname did tolerate Zero's existence despite of his obvious hatred of the said vampire hunter. The other part of her wanted to scoff at Zero, to tell him that Kaname's heart wholly belong to her and her alone- that he was delusional and conjuring up baseless thoughts. Kaname hated Zero and Zero will seize any window of opportunity to put an end to Kaname- a pureblood vampire- the very creature that he swore to render extinct. _'Why would Zero think that Kaname secretly favoured him?'_ thought Yuuki. However, knowing Zero, he was not the type to make up tall tales. The fan girls swooned, screamed and applauded for more 'live-actions'. Yuuki was not even sure that Kaname and Zero were even acting anymore. Her own heart sank in trepidation.

"OMG, look!" a girl standing behind Yuuki pointed at the stage. The others spotted the newly arrived person as well and they screamed anew. Ichiru stood by the stage curtain, smirking. Zero and Kaname caught the sight of him too. The twins engaged themselves in a brief staring contest, ignoring Kaname completely. Then Ichiru moved forwards, sauntering towards Zero in swift, fluid steps. The rabid fan girl's scream died down, watching the scene in fascination. Yuuki heard the various murmurs around them.

"Real twins? The silverettes are real twins?

"See those tattoos? Those mean piercings? Oh hawtness, please rape me!"

"Bitch, I smell twincest."

"Twincest? I smell twincest plus a threesome- swoon baby girl!"

Yuuki didn't even have time to incite her FAQ replies monologue upon hearing the girls' outrageous comments because moments later, Ichiru movement blurred and he reappeared beside Zero, slinking his arm around Zero's waist. "You like my twin so much that you have to shackle him to you huh, _your highness_?"

"Dare to dream, Kiriyu. I think you know better," Kaname's icy tone was not enough to make Ichiru quiver.

Zero grabbed the front Ichiru's shirt and hissed his order, "Unshackle me from this demon. NOW!"

"Why don't you just vaporize him on the spot?" suggested Ichiru, "I'll whisk you away afterwards and we'll live happily ever after. Just the two of us." Yuuki gaped when she heard Ichiru's controversial discourse. In response, Zero grinned sinisterly at Kaname, pressing his gun even harder against the pureblood vampire's chest, right against his heart again. Nevertheless, Kaname was not affected, he stared at Zero, and then at Ichiru- a smirk formed on his lips. Zero would never do something that would upset the human-vampire coexistence.

The crowd was unsure of how to react; a few of them screamed but they ended up blushing, glancing at the others awkwardly. Most of the girls felt the disturbingly dark vibes Kaname, Zero and Ichiru emitted onstage so they remained silent. The hunters and vampires present were equally tensed, waiting for some sign so they could act. Yuuki turned to look at Kain and Ruka who in turn, was looking back at her- waiting for her cue to take action. Kaito did not move a muscle, assessing the scenario, searching for a window of opportunity to disarm Zero- there was none. Aidou was biting his lip- one hand holding the microphone in a death grip while fisting his blond locks with the other. Cross was shaking his head; Ichiru's vengeful antics might cause a full-fledge war and he knew it. _'__What is Ichiru up to? Do something Zero!" _Yuuki pleaded silently to Zero.

"I have a better idea," Zero said all the sudden. Grinning darkly, he took the Bloody Rose off Kaname and aimed it at his own head, precisely right against his right temple, Kaname flinched. He had never expected such behaviour from Zero. "Sayonara..." Zero's voice chimed, deep but clear, cast only at and solely for Kaname.

"No!" Yuuki screamed. Zero ignored her, constricting his hold, easing pressure on the trigger.

Yuuki braced herself for the worst, for the inevitable burst of dust-plumes that would surely send her spiraling down, crumbling in the depths of sorrow, along with her sanity. She cursed herself for not being able to stop Zero, for letting him down and for not being able to move- to prevent him from choosing death over living.

To her surprise, it was Kaname who moved, too fast for human eyes to catch; Kaname shifted his weight onto his right foot and prepared himself to barrel into Zero, in hopes of knocking the vampire hunter backwards, away from the danger of the gun. However, Kaname was a second too late; Zero had pulled the tigger.

Yuuki's heart was about to burst out of her ribcage when she finally heard the loud-

_Click._

Kaname, unable to stop his momentum collided into Zero; they landed with a thud, sending the gun flying away onto the floor. Zero's gun had not been loaded all along. Kaname watched the silver haired vampire hunter bring up both of his hands to cover his face, his shoulders shaking while suppressing his urge to laugh aloud. Kaname was forced to bend forward because his hand was still attached to Zero's. The pureblood vampire had been played. Kaname's face burned in mortification; he tried to get up- to get away from Zero but Zero's unmovable cuffed hand which was attached to his made it impossible for him to stand up. Zero had shown no signs of regaining his senses yet so, Kaname ended up straddling Zero's waist awkwardly.

"Who would carry a loaded gun in places like this Kuran? Standard protocol," Ichiru said with a straight face.

"What?" Aidou shrill scream almost busted the speakers.

"Nani?" Cross picked up his spectacles which had fallen off onto the floor in his panic.

"Yeah, I told Zero not to load it," Kaito nodded his head knowingly.

"WTF?" Ruka said before she pretended to faint. Kain caught her.

"Kaname-sama has a yaoi-scaled problem," Rima quipped in her monotone, pulling her orange wig off. Yuuki's eyes almost fell out of their sockets; she didn't even notice Rima's presence. Shiki who was flanking her right stuffed his hands into his pockets and shrugged his shoulders in indifference.

"Quit fooling around boys!" Yagari's voice boomed from above the stage.

"Yeah, get off my Zero," Ichiru pulled Kaname off Zero, grabbed Kaname's the cuffed wrist, the one end marked with his initials 'K.I' and deactivated the thing. Then, Ichiru pulled Zero up onto his feet. "You've been very naughty Zero; I'm going to punish you. I'll tell Kaito to not to release you till I'm wholly satisfied," Ichiru said sultrily, bringing Zero's cuffed left hand up and bit the metal with his teeth.. Zero flashed a disgusted look at his twin. The audience applauded and screamed, demanding for an encore.

Yuuki bounded onto the stage to embrace Kaname but her actions caused the fan girls to boo at her. Seeing that, Kaname hugged Yuuki back and ushered her off the stage, leaving the Kiriyu twins by themselves.

"That was the awesome-st, most dramatic act that we have ever seen, right bitches?" Ben jumped up and down, unable to contain his excitement.

"Do they deserve the 100,000 Yen?" Aidou was doing his job once more. "Let's see your curled up toes, raise your feet in the air!" he said something totally ridiculous again but the girls screamed anyways.

"So we have a winner; give them a big kya~" Ben managed to incite the most eardrum-busting, high-decibel scream the vampires had ever experienced. Most of them cringed and crumpled down to the floor, clamping their hands over their abused ears. Shiki and Rima had pulled out their headphones on so they were unaffected.

"Errr, where'd the dark-haired hottie go?" asked Ben. Kaname was nowhere to be seen. "Ah, what a shame. Oh well, don't know, don't care. We still have our twincest-ic twins, right ladies?" said Ben dismissively. The crowed hooted and applauded the Kiriyu twins. Beaming, Ichiru accepted the check from Ben, grinned at Zero and winked at Aidou. "You'll get your ten percent, Scrooge," he whispered to Aidou.

"Wire it," Aidou stuck out his tongue. He studied the free end of the cuffs dangling off Zero's wrist mischievously. Aidou grabbed it and snapped it onto Ichiru's right hand. "Give him a good twincestic lovin session," Aidou leered at Ichiru who was cackling away with glee.

"What the fuck? Not again!" Zero slapped his forehead, dismayed. "Kuso, I'll kill you!"

Aidou saw Kaito sneering beside Cross and hollered, "Takamiya, they're all yours," into the microphone. Then Aidou chucked it away into the crazed audience; he took off as soon as Zero finished loading his gun.

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"Zero, where the hell did you hide the marble plaque?" Ichiru hollered as soon as he noticed his missing _property._ He had given Aidou his ten percent cut for pushing Zero and Kaname into the right direction during the yaoi-con, helping them to win the 100,000 Yen prize. Ichiru had calculated the ten percent cut for Aidou, split the remainder equally forty-five-forty-five with Zero, waving off Kaname's share. Ichiru had happily placed an order for the white marble plaque bearing Shizuka's name and then placed it on his desk in the room he shared with Zero. However, currently the innocent chunk of marble was missing and Ichiru suspected that Zero had taken it. "Zero! Give it back or I'll-" he threatened.

"Or you'll what? You haven't returned those damn cue-cards either, ne?" Zero showed up by the door, his face wearing his usual scowl.

"Or I'll torture you with twincest innuendoes for the rest of your life," Ichiru bit his lower lip, searching for the 12 inches tall marble piece on Zero's person. "I'm going to keep those cards for further exploitations," Ichiru added, he couldn't see the plaque anywhere but Zero was holding something behind his back.

"Ah, I'm getting immune to all that twincest nonsense... Carry on," Zero replied nonchalantly.

"Who's the shameless one now?" Ichiru sneered.

"Tch... I learnt from the best," Zero leered back. He moved towards Ichiru, reached down for Ichiru's right hand and placed a potted plant onto his upturned palm. Ichiru blinked at the sight of a small green, prickly cactus.

"What's this?"

"A token of my feelings," Zero replied. "I would have planted cacti beside your tombstone instead of bringing you roses had I known you were never dead in the first place."

"Cut the crap and give me back her plaque. I don't need this _thing_," Ichiru glowered at Zero and shook the ceramic pot violently; some of the soil spilled onto the floor. Not much but enough to make Zero the neat freak, freak.

"Hell, Ichiru! Just take care of that _damn plant_; I'll give you back the fucking slab of useless marble once that _thing _grows four inches taller. Remember, four inches for four damn years you disappeared on me and showed up with that now dead pureblood-onna," Zero nagged.

"Bleh, you're bringing that up again," Ichiru complained. He set the cactus on his desk and took a box lying idly by his paperweight. Zero narrowed his eyes in disgust because he realized that Ichiru still had the vile box of phallic pocky. Ichiru saw Zero's trepidation, grinned, took two out and handed him one of the finger-thick pocky-sticks. "Now let's seal the deal with some damn pockies," said Ichiru, tapping his pocky-stick against Zero's like sword fighters would at the beginning of a fighting bout.

"Are you serious?" Zero smirked, "You're challenging me into a stupid food duel?" Zero raised his chocolate covered penis replica and pointed it at Ichiru.

"Why not? A deal must be sealed properly. Do you want me to abide your wishes or not? Or would you rather use _something sturdier_ to bend me over into compliance?" Ichiru leered. "En guard, Zero!" Ichiru raised his pocky-stick like a sword.

"I had enough of your yaoi-laced insinuations, Ichiru. Two can play the game, watch," Zero did something totally out of Ichiru's imagination. The usually stoic vampire hunter took the phallic pocky-stick and placed it inside his own mouth, licking and sucking the thing, imitating some very lewd actions that shot Ichiru's brain out of orbit.

"What the fuck are you doing, Zero! You're gross!" Ichiru screeched, horrified. He was breaking out in cold sweat witnessing Zero's weirdness.

Zero smirked, pulled put his pocky-stick out of his mouth in an audible pop and grinned, "Eh? I'm giving you a sneak peek preview. You don't like it? You would probably do the same, wanna switch around?"

"I uh, I.. Huh? No! You're crazy! Yuck, eeww Zero!" Ichiru winced.

"I thought so. So quit casting false vibes," Zero gave his pocky another good, sensuous lick, deliberately being erotic, watching Ichiru gulp nervously and wet his own lips. Ichiru's amethyst eyes had turned a shade darker.

"Stop this creepiness, Zero," Ichiru warned uncomfortably.

Satisfied with Ichiru's reaction, Zero gave Ichiru a suggestive smile, kissed the chocolate tip in calculated slowness, and smiled again when Ichiru gasped. Then, Zero chomped down on the pocky-stick, hard. He rolled the small piece in between his teeth, stabbing it with his fang, and then spat the phallic tip back out.

"Yikes, Zero! Ouch...!" Ichiru cringed, covering his mouth in horror. It made Zero laugh. He discarded the remainder of his pocky-stick before Ichiru's feet and sauntered away, closed the door behind him, ignoring the volley of curses that muffled behind the wood.

'_Poking fun with a pocky was fun after all,__'__ Zero smiled smugly._

* * *

A/N- These are the one liner by Her Little Doll. She's a genius rite? I used these as prompts. Not all of them though. They are hilarious- a 'must share'. I got lost in the middle of this crack and these had helped me A LOT. ^^

_**What if there was a stand selling 'toys' and Aido bought one?  
What if, due to a trick of fate, Ruka got mistaken for a cross-dressing guy?  
What if Yuuki got into an argument with an incest enthusiast about her relationship with her elder brother/great-great-grandpa?  
What if Zero/Kaname fans couldn't decide who was the uke- usually, you can tell by looking at the character's chin but Zero and Kaname have the same sort of chin- and forced the two unfortunates into battling it out for the title of seme?  
What if Kain, while trying to assure everyone that Ruka was indeed a girl, got mistaken for Ruka's gay lover?  
What if Cross...let's not go there.  
What if, just as Ichiru's plotting something sneaky, Kaito shows up and challenges him for Zero?  
What if Zero and Ichiru accidentally get entered into a modeling contest?  
What if Zero and Kaname just happen to accidentally get shackled together after stopping by a stand that Yagari passed by earlier that day, leaving behind the anti-vampire shackles when Cross said he couldn't take them inside?  
What if someone turns pocky into a phallic symbol?**_

Thanks a million Doll for being an inspiration (and for beta-ing too) I luv you *hug*. Btw, if you see mistakes up there.. I made some last minute changes and didn't run them through Doll. Kekeke... MY FAULT. To the kind reviewers, kyaaaaaa~ thank you x100! FYI, chapter 3 is ready. It's kinda dirty, smutty… not really, okay maybe a bit- yeah, sort of. Right Doll? She read it. Well, Beta privileges. *grin*

Drop a line or two or something for me will you? Do you want another instalment of the twincest-ic twins?


	3. Knocked Up

Warning: Crack, OOC, lime? Ichiru (beware).

Disclaimer: Too many. I'm guilty. Don't sue.

Beta: Her Little Doll

* * *

The Twincestic Twins Follies: Knocked-up

Zero woke up with a start. He squinted his eyes, blinking away the annoyingly bright sunrays that had filtered through the glass windows. His muscles were sore as though he had been up exercising all night; he did a double take. He sure did feel like he had been up all night. Zero scanned the room for any signs of Ichiru but his twin brother was nowhere to be found. Ichiru's bed had been made up neatly. That was the least of his concerns because suddenly Zero caught a whiff of something suspicious; a musky but slightly pungent smell lingered in the small bedroom and his blanket was oddly damp. Zero panicked, a faint memory crept back into his head.

0000000000

Sweltering hot.

Strange. It was in the middle of spring so it couldn't be that humid. He was sweating, breathing raggedly as if he had been running a 20 kilometer marathon, his heart pounding wildly in his ribcage, his brain racing high in adrenaline while his vision clouded with red. His bloodlust was straining against his control; he held back the thirsty beast within and chained it down with his iron resolve.

"Ah, Zero..." a voice cut through the red haze, somebody moaning his name.

'_Moaning__?__'_Zero cringed inwardly. Why would somebody moan in the middle of the night? Why would somebody moan _his _name? Skin was brushing skin and his fingers were threaded through something soft- like rippling silk. Cool and hard little bumps, like small metal studs were pressing against his palms, the tips of his fingers digging into hot flesh. Immediately, Zero yanked his hands away, accidentally breaking some of the fine threads; the voice hissed out a pained protest- surprisingly mixed with a hint of pleasure. Consequently, a pair of hands caught his wrists in a possessive hold. Zero tried to wrench his hands away but the other person had tugged him down in one fluid movement, causing him to fall on top of a lithe body. Strong, and supple arms snaked around his bare torso, pressing him flush against the delicious warmth- he felt another heart beating as rapidly as his own.

"Zero, don't stop..." the voice pleaded, huskily, low- passionate and _male_. Zero recoiled but he was stunned by a pair of soft, supple lips worshipping him, kissing both of his eyelids tenderly, and moving down to his cheeks, his chin, and jaw- carefully as not to miss any patch of heated skin- and ending at his right earlobe. The sensation was electric- zinging through his blood; he could feel the person's desire matching his own growing need. There was a speck of apprehension in his being before but it all faded when the person grinded their hips together, the sensation too intensely pleasing- logic had abandoned Zero only to be replaced by lust. He didn't care anymore but just when he decided to give in to his instincts, Zero heard the voice whispering in his ear, pleading again, "Please, nii-san..."

Zero snapped his eyes open, horrified. He stared into a familiar pair of purplish eyes gazing heatedly into his own. "Ichiru?" Zero flushed red, realizing that he was straddling his mirror-image who was smiling up tenderly at him with unabashed longing painted on his face. Ichiru's silver-hair fanned out against the white cotton pillow. Streams of moonbeams spilled into the room only to make his skin glow, the pale column of his neck contrasting grotesquely with the black taming tattoo- an abomination permanently marring his skin but mysteriously enhancing his beauty. A fallen angel- yes, Ichiru looked like one. Ichiru was the mimicry of a pale ethereal being, his wings clipped only to be replaced by deadly fangs, lying provocatively in Zero's bed.

Bracing his elbows against the mattress, Zero held his weight up so he could get away from his twin. He was aware of his aching need but he was also far too disturbed by the notion that he was there, in bed and about to do something that he would sorely regret to his dear younger brother. _'__What the hell am I doing? This can__'__t be happening.__' _Zero was astounded by his own behaviour, his own reaction and particularly his vulnerability. He simply had to get away. However, the hurt flashing on Ichiru's face stopped him.

"Why? Do you still hate me?" Ichiru asked; his brows knitted together- vexed, wounded and insecure.

"No." Zero's curt answer was not enough to convince Ichiru.

"You don't want me…" Ichiru tilted his head to one side, biting his lower lip almost begging Zero to say otherwise. It was not a statement; it was a test.

"Ichiru, I-" Zero was lost for words. He wasn't sure anymore; he was divided, a part of him desperate to leave, to run away and deny the magnetism that he was feeling towards Ichiru. Another part of him was begging for him to throw away his self-erected barriers and savour the ecstasy that would come together with the coupling of their bodies.

"Fine, I see. I'll help you figure it out," Ichiru's seductive smile was enough to set his core aflame. Zero groaned out in protest when Ichiru flipped him onto his stomach, pinning his body down onto the cool sheets. Zero scrabbled to turn over but Ichiru had found his _weakness_, gave him a few expert strokes, stunning him because immediately he had to bury his face into the pillow to muffle his pleasured moan. Zero grabbed Ichiru's hands to pry them off but his desperation only motivated Ichiru to be more assertive. Ichiru attacked his neck, showering it with butterfly kisses and then beginning to leave imprints along his spine. Zero arched his back, his senses racked by pleasurable the ministrations.

"Stop it, Ichiru. This is wrong!" Zero protested.

"Of course it is," Ichiru hummed into Zero's ear, his breath hot, coming in short pants. Zero was sure he was breathing equally hard. Sweat was beginning to form on his brow and he could feel Ichiru's firm abs pressed firmly against his lower back. Lower, and Zero would feel something else that was firmer than his twin's abdominal muscles. He shuddered at the thought. Zero was surprised again when Ichiru flipped him onto his back and rolled their bodies over so that Zero was back on top. "Now this is right," Ichiru smirked at him, bringing his legs up to wrap them around Zero's waist.

Zero caught Ichiru's meaning; there was a sickening pull in his gut thinking about it but Ichiru had reached up to cup his face with both of his hands and spoke ever so sultrily again. "You better fuck me through the mattress, Zero, or I'll grab your knife and carve my name on your balls for starting something that you couldn't finish." The look on Ichiru's face was genuine enough to convince Zero that it was true, that he must have had made a pass at his brother.

"And you better start screaming like a girl because I'm going to hurt you really bad." It was too late to back out now; Zero had made up his mind.

"Bring it on…" The challenge had been set; there was an unspoken promise in Ichiru's eyes that he would wring out all the pleasure from the things to come.

0000000000

"Ah, good morning Zero," Ichiru's voice brought him back to the present. Then Zero saw his brother walking out of the bathroom with only a towel wrapped around his waist; a smaller one hung around his broad shoulders and his silver hair was wet from the shower. Beads of water fell down onto his bare chest. Zero gulped nervously and chastised himself for feeling awkward all of the sudden. Well, he should be because he could not remember a thing that had really happened between them besides that he was feeling awfully tired and sore. He strained to recall but everything was a blur.

"Morning…" Zero croaked. He looked out of the window, pretending not to be bothered by the sight of his half-naked bother. "You're up early," he added.

"Yeah, I was up all night. I can't fall back asleep," replied Ichiru nonchalantly. He was using the smaller towel to dry off his hair. "Do you want to explain something to me, Zero?"

"Huh?" Zero decided to play dumb. He sat up on his bed and pulled his blanket so that it pooled around his crossed legs. In truth, he was more than mortified; he was in between feeling aghast and feeling shell-shocked.

Ichiru stopped toweling and stared intensely at Zero, "Why me?"

Zero's face flamed red. _'__Oh, my fucking God, what the hell did I do?__'_Zero panicked but he was careful not to let Ichiru catch his distress.

"Oh, come on Zero. Come out of your stoic shell for bit and have a real conversation with me. Just tell me what started it," urged Ichiru. He was still sitting on him bed right across him, openly staring at him.

"I don't know. I can't remember a thing," Zero mumbled. The look on Ichiru's face made him dread it even more- Ichiru was pissed.

"What do you mean you can't remember? Fine, it was my fault that I crept into your bed. So there, fine- I admit I might be the one who triggered it but how dare you say that you can't remember a thing? What do you take me for?" Ichiru ranted and chewed at him.

"Look, I'm really telling you the truth. I can't recall a thing." Zero fisted his messy hair in frustration. He _was_ telling the truth. He couldn't remember.

Ichiru flashed him a wounded look, bowed his head, and looked down at the floor. "So you're not going to take responsibility in it?"

"Huh? Ichiru I-" Zero's internal alarm went off. Ichiru was truly, royally, ominously pissed; there was sadness and disappointment in his tone too. Zero immediately rose up from his bed, wrapped his blanket around his own waist and made his way towards Ichiru. Zero kneeled down in front of Ichiru, right between his parted knees, and then reached out to take Ichiru's hand. "Look, I'm really sorry, Ichiru. It was not meant to happen," Zero said tentatively.

"It's okay, Zero; I deserve it. I guess you wanted to have your revenge on me. You hate me enough, I know, so it's okay that you hurt me," Ichiru said quietly. Zero felt like he had been stabbed.

"Please Ichiru, it's not like that…" Zero pleaded, squeezing Ichiru's hands with his.

"Do you love me?" Ichiru locked gaze with him. Zero could see Ichiru's fangs when he spoke those words.

"Tch, of course. What made you think otherwise?"

"What if I get knocked up?" Ichiru was asking nonsense but Zero knew that Ichiru would kill him if he scoffed if off.

"Men can't get pregnant, Ichiru." Zero suppressed the flat note that threatened to encroach upon his voice as well as the incredulous one, opting instead to be gentle with his words. After all, he had wronged his dear brother.

"Hypothetically speaking. Just humour me- what if?" Ichiru was being persistent. It was annoying but Zero relented again.

"We'll raise it properly," Zero replied through gritted teeth. "It's not possible, Ichiru," he insisted to his doppelganger again.

"It? How could address a baby as an _'__it__'_, you cold blooded monster? She. I want a girl with silver hair, pale pearlescent skin and big, bright amethyst eyes just like you," Ichiru chided Zero and giggled.

"Tch… That fits your description too. Stop talking nonsense, Ichiru." Zero's patience was wearing thin.

"That's it! I want to have a baby girl, name her Kiriyu Shizuka and dress her in cute, frilly gowns." Ichiru brought Zero's hand up to his bare chest. Then he smiled at Zero and planted a kiss on Zero's right knuckle before speaking up excitedly, "Let's do it again, Zero. Make sure you knock me up thoroughly!"

"What the fuck, Ichiru?" Zero lost it. He stood up instantly and glowered at the bewildered Ichiru, "I'll pretend I didn't hear _that _name. Hell, are you not aware that what I did to you was fucking wrong? We're brothers, for God's sake! Wake up before I take out my gun and shoot myself!" Zero took Ichiru by the shoulders and shook him.

"What? No!" Ichiru's eyes grew wide in horror. "I don't want to raise our daughter alone. How can you possibly think that, you cold selfish bastard! Grow a backbone and learn to take responsibility for us," Ichiru spewed more of his nonsense.

"Responsibility for who? Shut the fuck up, Ichiru. I may have fucked you but there's no fucking way that you'll get pregnant, asshole!" Zero hollered on top of his lungs. He did not care if he woke up the whole building; Ichiru was being delusional.

"You don't love us?" Ichiru sobbed. Zero thought that Ichiru sobbed. He was not sure because Ichiru had buried his face in his hands and doubled up his torso over his knees.

"Snap out of it, Ichiru!" Zero warned hotly.

"I want a little baby girl and you are going to give one to me!" Ichiru was being delusional _and _stubborn.

"I told you it was a mistake so there is no way I would repeat the same mistake again. Do you hear me?" Zero glowered.

"Why? I wasn't good enough? Fine, I understand. It's not like I could stand against that pureblood boyfriend or that pretty, frivolous, blond boy toy of yours." Ichiru took his hands away and glared at him- sulking and pouting. Ichiru had just made a reference to the damn conceited Kuran Kaname and his equally arrogant sidekick, Aidou Hanabusa.

"Gaaaah, where the hell did you get that idea? You know it's not true. Snap out of this I beg you." Zero wanted to bang his head against the floorboards until his head cracked open.

"Then prove it to me," Ichiru held out his right hand and touched his fingertips on Zero's sternum, tracing it upwards along Zero's neck and ended up cupping Zero's chin. Ichiru tilted Zero's face up so he could gaze directly into Zero's eyes.

"Prove?" Zero inhaled a bit too sharply.

Ichiru smiled wickedly. "Yes, prove to me that you love me and only me, your twin brother, your soul mate and your _biggest_ nightmare." Ichiru inched his face closer to Zero. "Love all of me, good and bad, through thick and thin. Satisfy me physically and emotionally beyond the borders of incest, twincest and make sure we'll have a fuck-fest every time I want to," Ichiru was ranting baloney again.

Zero rolled his eyes in defeat; he would just agree with Ichiru and get out of there. He was growing uncomfortable because Ichiru's lips were now hovering too close to his own. Zero tried to jerk his chin out of Ichiru's hand but Ichiru had tightened his hold, his fingernails digging painfully into Zero's skin and accidentally breaking it. Blood welled up from the small cuts, Ichiru's eyes burning red because of the scent.

"Oops, can't waste that," Ichiru whispered as he swooped in to lick the blood away. He paused to lick his own lips before he gave Zero a soft chaste peck on the corner of Zero's mouth, stunning Zero beyond words. Ichiru smiled mischievously and pulled both of Zero's cheeks playfully. "And remember that it was I that kissed you first. Congratulations, Zero, for earning a kiss from me!"

"You kissed me first?" Zero blinked in confusion while Ichiru ruffled his hair into a messy mop. Zero grabbed Ichiru's pesky hand and glared. "Does that mean…?"

"Uh huh," Ichiru grinned.

"_It _never happened?" Zero blinked again.

"Yep," Ichiru grinned wider.

"You made it up, played me all along?" Zero seethed.

"Yeah," Ichiru nodded his head, still grinning.

"It was a dream, wasn't it?" Zero spoke through clenched teeth.

"No, correction- it was a wet dream." Ichiru made no effort to hold back his mirth.

"But you were there," Zero stated.

"Ah, I did climb into your bed at some point because I couldn't sleep and then you moaned my name and some other suspicious crap. So I figured out you were feeling lonely, talked you along into it and it helped. Then suddenly, you unconsciously pinned me down and jizzed all over me. Cold showers this early in the morning are brain numbing, you know, Zero. We should get the stingy landlady to fix the main heater sooner," Ichiru elaborated with a straight face.

"You played me." Zero tried to remember where he had placed his gun.

"Tsk, tsk, tsk… We are healthy, young males. There's nothing to be ashamed of when it comes to those kinds of dreams- but do you think I enjoyed it? It's hard to scrub off stuff like that, after all. It's disgusting and I think I still smell of your spunk. I had to punish you some way," Ichiru's nonchalant attitude was seriously grating on Zero's nerves.

"Then why did you climb into my bed in the first place?" Zero bellowed- his voice loud enough to rattle the windowpanes- Ichiru clamped his hands over his ears and snickered. Ichiru sensed the danger and quickly jumped onto his bed; Zero growled and chased him around the room.

"Heck, Zero… I like to reinforce some brotherly bonding with you once in a while. You think I could resist from curling up to you every time you sleep in the nude?" Ichiru snickered and bounded on top of the desk, knocking a few books onto the floor in the process.

"What? You've done it before?" Zero was horrified.

"Ara, you don't know? Oh, yeah, right; you sleep like the dead sometimes. I bet you would never stir even if somebody raped you and just mistake it for another typical wet dream later." Ichiru regretted saying that because Zero had reached in for his gun under his pillow and took aim.

"That somebody would be you!" Zero was livid. Ichiru made a dash towards the bathroom and locked the door.

"Damn, Zero… At least put some pants on when you decide to chase me around the room!" Ichiru had never laughed harder in his entire life.

* * *

A/N- Yatta! We did it Doll! I luv you as always ;p*pats Doll on the back while smiling smugly*

Well? What do you think? Want another one? Want to join the _"I love Ichiru Club"_ or the _"Oh-Zero..*droooool* Community"?_ Drop something please. Flames are okay too; I have marshmallows ready.


	4. The Birth of Venus

Warning: Crack, OOC-ness is MANDATORY. Ichiru's alive and looks exactly like Zero. E-X-A-C-T-L-Y alike. Coz I love the twins.

Disclaimer: Too many. I'm guilty. Don't sue.

Beta: Her Little Doll

* * *

The Twincestic Twins Follies: The Birth of Venus

"Studies have proven when a person folds his arms, not only has he negative thoughts about the other person, he is also paying not much attention to what is being said," a female voice sliced his eardrums, her melodious timbre resounding off of his internal walls.

Zero exhaled, dragged his gaze away from a huge The Birth of Venus by Cabanel hanging from a wall to scrutinize the person who had broken his reverie. The painting, without a doubt was a reproduction, a prized possession of the light-haired woman in her late-twenties sitting behind a desk before him. Yes, he, the school prefect, Kiriyu Zero had been called to see the school-level equivalent of a shrink and so far, he had wasted twenty-seven precious minutes in her office.

He gave her a noncommittal shrug. "Should I be pinning my ears back?" He spoke in a low but neutral tone, careful not to let his irritation slip into his voice. His body language however, took on a harder edge because she was studying him with her sharp green eyes- like a predator.

"Ah, so you have not been listening after all," the woman smiled at him. "We will get to that once Ichiru-kun is here. The matter at hand requires the both of you present." Fujisaki Chigusa was pretty, petite and a rather cheerful woman admired by almost three thirds of the male school population- which came as not much of a surprise since Cross Academy was sort of short on female teachers. Her reputation however, was a whole different story.

Rumour had it that she specialized in straightening out the most crooked misfits with her _off-beat, _unconventional counseling methods. She reminded him of Cross Kaien, his adoptive father with that wide, overly-kind smile plastered on her face. There was something about her that made him feel uneasy so Zero pretended that he hadn't heard her and continued to stare at the copy of the well known piece of art.

He let his eyes trail over the figure of a nude, flame-haired woman- Venus- lying provocatively, basking on a bed of barely visible rocks under a divinely clear blue sky. She was surrounded by tastefully painted ocean waves while a group of five angelic cherubs hovered lovingly above her. The image was purely erotic but cleverly masked in mythology, enchantingly beautiful, yet blatantly bathed in sexuality. He was looking at a piece of older-than-your-great-grandfather pornographic material in the guise of a masterpiece. Well, they hadn't had magazines in those days.

Usually Zero kept an open mind but at that moment, he could not help but disapprove of its placement in an academic institution, specifically a room where consultations took place. There was no way students would pay attention to whatever things the counselor had to offer when they could ogle that naked female.

He frowned and finally looked away.

However, a sly, upturned curve of the counselor's lips was a tell-tale sign that she had gotten the wrong impression- that he was acting like a typical teenage boy who had just seen more than a glimpse of a girl's pink, strawberry-printed panties.

"Do you find it fascinating?" she asked.

"What?" Zero asked dryly.

"The painting. You've been staring at it for quite some time," she grinned knowingly.

"Yes, I was wondering if I should set it on fire or resize it with a box-cutter," he drawled, enjoying the alarmed gasp she emitted. He was serious though.

"You don't appreciate the female form?"

"What does that have to do with this meeting?" he evaded the question and decided that he didn't like her at all.

"Usually, boys would be drooling at it by now. You are not behaving like a typical teenager," the counselor stared creepily at him. "Aren't you curious?"

"Not at all," Zero replied, realizing there was no way she would let it go. There was nothing typical about him but he could not be bothered to explain. The counselor on the other hand had her _psycho-motors_ up and running.

"Hmm... Alarming. How about I provide you with some reading materials?" The way she was smirking at him was terribly suspicious.

However, before she could open her mouth further, there was a sound knock on the door.

"Hah, I'm late." Ichiru stepped into the small office with a cheery smile plastered on his face. "Getting here was a bit tricky," he added. Judging from the latter's disheveled, wind-blown hair, the rumbling footsteps and the rising squeals of excitement coming towards that section of the school building, Ichiru had just outran a group of his fan girls.

Yes, Kiriyu Ichiru had a group of female admirers chasing after him all around the school compound nowadays which makes Zero's life as his brother, more specifically his twin brother, a living hell.

The counselor smiled, her gaze shifted from Zero to Ichiru and back to Zero again. Without a doubt, she was assessing them.

"It is fine, Ichiru-kun. Please sit down by Kiriyu while I get something," she said as rose from her chair, straightened skirt and moved towards a steel filing cabinet by the window.

She had referred Zero using his last name, Kiriyu and Ichiru as Ichiru-kun which means, between the two of them, he was in charge. Zero almost smirked in triumph but he chose not to since it was always unwise to let Ichiru know anything lest it be exploited and manipulated into blackmail material. Besides, Ichiru had never cared about the _twin power-struggle_ as much as Zero did.

Ichiru cocked his head to one side and raised a questioning eyebrow at him which he returned with a disdainful snort.

"Are we in trouble?" Ichiru asked while he took a seat in a padded chair on Zero's left.

"You might want to rephrase that. Are _you_ in trouble? I did nothing wrong," Zero uncrossed his arms so that he could massage his throbbing head.

Seeing Zero's exasperation, Ichiru smiled mischievously and leaned in, "Let me guess, you shot somebody."

"If that is the case, you would have been handed an execution list with my name on it by now," Zero sneered, shoving Ichiru away from him. Ichiru had been so close that Zero could smell peppermint chewing gum in the former's breath. Brother or not, it was breaching his personal space and Zero always guarded his _space_ jealously.

"Whatever, if we are here, we are in trouble." Ichiru combed back his hair with his fingers and sighed.

"Trouble is not exactly the word that best describes your current situation, boys." The counselor had returned to her seat after handing them each a yellow manila folder. Apparently, she had overheard.

Zero stared at the pocket-styled folder, opened it and found pieces of colourful images printed on glossy paper. He realized that they were photographs. Zero's eyes grew wide as he sifted through them.

Seeing Zero's reaction, Ichiru opened his only to find sets of stapled printed material. He was about to read a page when Zero thrust a picture into his hands. So Ichiru closed his folder, placed it on his lap and looked at the 4R sized photo.

It was a picture of them in the cafeteria; Ichiru was caught nudging a sleeping Zero during lunch break. "Aww, Zero looks so cute; I actually like this one. Are you giving this to us, sensei?"

"Not exactly. I paid good money for that so it's mine," she dismissed darkly while eyeing Zero who was still looking at the stack photographs in quiet disbelief.

"Paid?" Ichiru perked but Zero nudged him roughly, giving him an annoyed look.

"Somebody should get a new hobby," Zero remarked dryly as he handed the stack to Ichiru.

There were at least three dozen shots of them in the classroom, guarding the students and even of them coming and leaving the school grounds.

Ichiru looked at every each of them and chuckled good-naturedly. "The girls must have taken them as keepsakes, kawaii."

In the end, Zero huffed and showed him the final one showing them changing, shirtless and drenched in sweat. They must have had one of their occasional arguments because both of them were staring heatedly at one another. However, in a third-party point of view, those stares could be easily misperceived as _something else_.

Zero rolled his eyes and mumbled gravely to Ichiru, not loud enough for the counselor to hear, "A _girl_ can't get into the _boys__'_locker room, idiot. I can't believe there's a stalker tailing after us with a damn camera. This is your entire fault, being frivolous, attracting attention and all when I clearly told you to quit it."

He could tell that the counselor was straining hard to eavesdrop. Her behaviour was creepy; Zero disliked her even more.

"Ara, this was after gym class, you almost socked me for nicking your boxers," Ichiru evaded Zero's accusation by faking a fascinated smile and snatched the picture from Zero's hand. "Being twins is amazing; we should swap for a day and see if anybody can tell us apart, ne, Zero?"

"Tch, focus on the stalker problem," replied Zero through gritted teeth.

He grabbed the photos from Ichiru and stuffed them back into the folder. Then he folded his arms once more and glared at the counselor. Ichiru was right; they really looked alike. A crazy vampire bitch had been _kind_ enough to turn them both into Level-Ds and not to mention, an oldhunter-master of his had been thoughtful enough to give Ichiru the exact same tattoo and piercings to make them look like carbon-copies of each other.

"I called the two of you today because of those pictures. However, there is more," she smiled and then pointed at the folder lying on Ichiru's lap. "Please take a look at those printouts too."

Ichiru took a three paged set of A4 sized print outs and read the contents out loud. "Double Debauchery by Kawai-Fifi4eva. The hand around Ichiru slipped into his linen shirt and circled his slim waist. 'No, wait Zero!' Ichiru pleaded. 'Don't make me wait anymore,' replied his mirror-image as he traced his lips against his twin's collarbone, his lips..." Ichiru stopped and beamed when he saw Zero's blank face. It was as pale as sheet, as if the elder twin's blood had been completely sucked dry.

"Somebody, shoot me," Ichiru heard Zero murmur under his breath.

"Eh, don't be such a prude Zero. This is interesting stuff- why don't I read you another one?" Ichiru cleared his throat, picked out another sheet of paper and read, "Disclaimer, I earn nothing from this fic. Silvery Chances by Stardust94. Zero felt like he was melting as Ichiru's deft fingers burned trails on his skin. 'Mmm.. You're really warm,' said Ichiru, forcing Zero to let his buttons be ripped asunder."

Zero snatched the printout from Ichiru and read the rest. Seconds later, he stopped abruptly, tore the paper in two and glared daggers at the counselor.

"Calm down, Kiriyu-kun. You can tear all of them up if you like but I can always reprint them. Those are not even half of the online archives." Fujisaki Chigusa let out a heavy breath and gestured towards her laptop computer.

"Online?" both Ichiru and Zero chorused, scrunched their eyebrows in irritation and sighed simultaneously. Then they realized their blunder, braced themselves for the inevitable. The counselor clasped her hands together, her eyes gleaming in excitement as if she had discovered a top-secret.

"Kawaii, I just witnessed a twin-harmonizing phenomenon. Do you do that often? How about dreams? Do you dream of the same thing? How about wet... Eeep!" She stopped babbling as soon as Zero kicked the table violently.

"Careful sensei, he bites if he's upset," Ichiru said mockingly to the surprised counselor and grinned meaningfully at Zero, carefully letting him catch a glimpse of his fangs- reminding him of what they were. Zero caught the meaning and scoffed.

The counselor, who was clueless of the private joke, cleared her throat as she turned the gadget towards the twins so they can look at a webpage. There was a glittery, frothy-pink, animated banner on top that goes 'Zero X Ichi Twincest Realm' and the background is strewn with chibi-versions of themselves.

Ichiru glanced at Zero only to find his brother gripping the arms of his chair until his knuckles turned white. Just a little bit more and he would break the wood into splinters.

"What is in there?" Zero's voice was strained; it took every ounce of his faltering control not to blast the innocent laptop into smithereens.

"Ah, just images, fan-fictions, forums and you can buy some of the merchandise online," explained the oblivious counselor. "See, you could sign up as members and get updates too."

"Did you say merchandise? Somebody is making money out of this? I don't recall receiving any royalties," said Ichiru thoughtfully.

"Stop thinking about money! Look here and see this," Zero had seized the laptop and scanned through the contents. "What the hell are these so called fan-fictions? ZeroxIchiru one hundred and nineteen stories, Ichirux Zero eighty-six stories, ZeroxIchiruxKaito forty-five stories, ZeroxIchiruxAidou twenty-one stories?"

"Ara, really? That should be hot," Ichiru seized the laptop from Zero and began clicking.

"Hot? Move over," Zero pushed their heads together to get a better view of the screen while the counselor started to wall herself behind a pile of books stacked on her desk.

As predicted, Ichiru read the page aloud. "Love Lesson by ChibiKYPrincess. 'Ah, sensei, not there.' The silver-haired student pleaded, gripping his teacher's ash-blond locks roughly. 'Shhh... Ichiru-chan, I need to hear your voice,' said Kaito." Ichiru blinked and turned to check Zero's reaction. Seeing none, he continued, "'Nnnhh,' Ichiru moaned in ecstasy. Kaito's lips and tongue were electric against his sensitive skin, traveling downwards, worshipping the taut planes of his abdomen. 'Ah, Takamiya-sensei, no…'"

"..." Zero made an attempt to grab the laptop but Ichiru pushed him away.

The counselor began piling books on top of her desk, a futile shot at fortifying herself from the bickering twins' tumultuous auras. Chuckling secretively, she then observed the boys from a small opening in between of her towering book stacks. Zero was clearly losing his patience- Ichiru, on the other hand was having tremendous fun teasing his brother.

Grinning mischievously, Ichiru read on. "Kaito was about to devour Ichiru's hardness once more when the classroom door flew open only to reveal Zero, panting from exertion. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he had run all the way from the dorms, his eyes wide in disbelief seeing his double in a compromising position with their deliciously sexy homeroom teacher. 'How dare you start without me?' Zero growled, ripping his tie off and pounced- mmmffftt!" Ichiru protested, clawing at Zero's hand as it clamped over his mouth.

"Nice choice, Ichiru-kun. That threesome fic is one of my favourites. ChibiKYPrincess writes the best stories so far. I wonder who she is," sighed the counselor, pretending that she couldn't see the Kiriyu twins grappling for the laptop on her office floor. "Ah, careful not to damage my computer; it's brand new," she added.

"Give me that!" Zero tried to reach for the laptop.

"Not in a million years," Ichiru wrenched himself away from Zero, flipped them over so that he could pin Zero down.

"This has got to stop. Aren't you worried about our reputation?" Zero grunted and took a swipe at Ichiru's face but missed.

"Heh, all those are just some wild imaginations- fictions, Zero-rin. I want to check out the merchandise," Ichiru grinned, clicking on. "We should get a share out of it."

"You are thinking about money again, aren't you?" Zero realized.

"Uwaaah, how did you know?" Ichiru pretended to be impressed and kicked Zero in the shins.

"Because you're my fucking twin, that's how," Zero threw Ichiru off him, wrapped his arms around Ichiru's slender torso, effectively capturing his brother.

"Mind the curse word or else she'll think you're fucking me for real," Ichiru warned gleefully, making Zero release him at once.

Hearing that, the counselor rose up from her desk, toppling her wall of books. "You mean that the both of you are _not _together?"

The room came into a standstill, the two vampire hunters staring at her numbly. "You look disappointed," said Zero as he pulled Ichiru to his feet.

"Who in the right mind has the nerves to sleep with him?" Ichiru pointed indignantly at Zero.

"Just you, but I know what you mean so I'll take that as a compliment." Zero finally got a hold of the laptop, snapped it shut and set it on the counselor's desk.

Ichiru opened his mouth before the counselor could launch herself into _twincest-land_. "Okay, I did sleep with you but only when we were younger."

"Oh, really?" Zero sneered.

"Let me get this straight- both of you are straight? No puns intended." Fujisaki Chigusa sat back onto her chair and sighed.

"You look disappointed," Ichiru repeated Zero's earlier remark with a grin plastered on his face.

"She's crushed," Zero stated, making the counselor blush in mortification.

Sensing Zero's apprehension, she explained carefully. "Just to be clear, I bear no prejudice against my students' sexual orientation. I'm a guidance counselor, not a prosecutor. I called the two of you to tell you to tone things down because lately, the Silverettes- your twincest fan base is growing at an alarming rate. I believe at least half of girls from both the Day and Night class have signed up as subscribers of the forum."

"Cool, awesome, we've bridged species. Should we do this on a bigger scale?" Zero mumbled under his breath again, crossed his arms and leaned against the window sill. Ichiru grinned but the counselor didn't catch Zero's sarcastic, philanthropic revelation.

"That website has been around some quite some time but about a month ago, the site had been revamped from a simple fan fiction web-forum into this. The members had literally quadrupled so the recent implosion worries me. Fanatical obsession usually leads to negative behaviour so I have to get to the root- the two of you. What if this mania turns into something destructive?" Fujisaki seemed earnest.

"We did not cause this and we can take care of ourselves," said Zero defiantly.

"Of course, but I am more worried about your _Silverettes, _your worshipping fan girls. I can't just sit here and wait for something bad to happen. The two of you must do something to rectify the problem," she explained.

Zero closed his eyes and sighed in irritation. "Worship, huh? How about harassment?"

Ichiru ignored his surly older brother and settled down opposite the counselor. "Fujisaki-sensei, I understand your plight and I admire your concern over your students. Moreover, I'm flattered that you have gone to such lengths to research those sensational literary exploitations. Reading those scandalous fantasies about your students and a fellow teacher must have been an utterly revolting experience." He stopped and smiled charmingly at Fujisaki who had blushed a shade darker. "I assure you that Zero and I will do everything in our ability to help you remedy the situation."

"Thank you, Ichiru-kun. Now we have to plan an intervention for the sake of the students." The counselor believed Ichiru but Zero was skeptical- he snorted in disdain.

"Sure, with that, this circus is going to disband..." said Zero incredulously. He was looking out of the window, estimating the number of girls that had swarmed outside the counseling room, undoubtedly trying to get a glimpse of them.

Bad move. The girls screamed as soon as they spotted him.

"Tch, killing them should be easier but manslaughter is out of the option. We will tell them that we are not in _that_ kind of relationship." Zero did not bother to hide his disdain anymore. He glared at Ichiru who was sitting there, smiling slyly.

The counselor was skeptical. "That wouldn't be sufficient- they might think that you are trying to cover up the _truth _and stalk you even more intensely."

"She's right," Ichiru agreed immediately.

"But that is the truth. It is their fault that they have fried their brains in a pan of slimy _ya-oil_," said Zero coldly.

"Alright, Kiriyu-kun, I know you find this bothersome but first, you have to know why this _phenomenon_ started. If your claim is true, that the both of you are not in that kind of liaison, surely you wonder what had contributed to the rumour." Her statement caught Ichiru's attention, his eyes gleamed as he beckoned her to go on. "I believe that neither one of you had ever gone out with girls before. Am I right?" asked the counselor.

Ichiru did a double take. Should he disclose the fact that he was still worshipping a dead pureblood vampire while Zero was still wallowing in his one-sided love affair with Kuran Yuuki, a _girl_ from the Night Class? Both of them were fools pining for unrequited love and there was definitely no way that either of them would go on dates. Not to mention, their free-time had been solely utilized to go on Level-E hunts- they were vampire hunters for God's sake. He couldn't tell her that they were bloodsucking ex-humans too, could he?

Ichiru caught Zero staring blankly at him and he understood the meaning- he had been handed the baton to do whatever it took and get them out of there. "You are absolutely right, sensei. We haven't."

"I thought so. And perhaps the two of you had been turning down the girls' love confessions all along?"

"Yes, or at least I have been turning them down. He has been killing them off with his death glare and setting the letters on fire," Ichiru chuckled watching Zero cringe.

"So my theory is, since the two of you made yourselves unavailable and given the fact that you are very close to one another, untouchable by others, the girls derived the conclusion that the two of you are somehow _involved_ with one another," said Fujisaki. "You should start dating like normal teenagers, you two. Surely there is at least one or two girls that have caught your eye."

"Heh... dating? I can do that but I'm not sure that he'd be too pleased to see me get close to other _people_, right Zero?" Ichiru teased. Zero could never trust Ichiru to mingle with _humans_, vampire-snacks, potential victims. They were Level-Ds, regardless of their hunter heritage and Level-Ds should never go anywhere near humans.

The counselor covered her mouth and stifled an excited squeal; Zero could have sworn that the damn woman was on the verge of having a nosebleed.

Ichiru took in a deep breath and exhales dramatically. "Since we are _unique, Zero_ believes that we should grow old and die together, just the two of us."

Her facial expression changed radically after hearing Ichiru's _proclamation_. "Fu,fu, fu... I know that twins are close but you should not restrict your brother, Kiriyu-kun. Such possessiveness is unhealthy. You should let Ichiru-kun savour life, meet people, learn to love, make mistakes because time waits for no one. You should be ashamed of yourself, Kiriyu-kun. Learn to let go, Ichiru-kun will be forever be your brother so what are you afraid of?"

"But sensei, you don't understand... He needs me." Ichiru had imitated a shoujo-manga heroine to perfection- the glazed eyes, trembling lips and clasped hands, he delivered the whole package.

Zero could not believe his ears, wishing that he could somehow tie and gag Ichiru who was thoroughly enjoying himself misleading the woman. He could not tell her that in their tainted eyes and vampire-hormone polluted bloodstream, people tasted better than those chalky blood tablets they survived on and it was rather hard to resist from chomping on a few now and then.

"Don't push it smart-ass, you can't go anywhere near other students unless necessary and you know why," Zero warned his brother.

Then Zero faced the counselor. "Are you by any chance, bipolar? You mood change is rather... extreme."

Immediately, something changed in the counselor's mannerism. She bowed her head, her hair shadowed her eyes and she broke into a lopsided smirk. "Kiriyu-kun..." the counselor said darkly.

"..." Zero had a bad feeling about the woman's behaviour and felt for his gun tucked in his holster. Ichiru too sensed her moody downturn, sat innocently in his chair and pretended to be hurt by Zero's words.

Suddenly, the counselor rose up from her chair, slamming her hands on the table, surprising them both. "What is wrong with you? Are you calling me crazy? I'm a certified, trained professional. You have earned yourself a spot amongst the hardcore delinquents in this academy so I'll pretend that you've never questioned my mental-health." She was hyperventilating, bewildered and bug-eyed.

Both boys looked at each other, Zero signaled that he was going to leave but before he could move, she pushed on. "How can you be so mean to your little brother? Look at him! He is the epitome of good-looks, his silky silver hair, that clear unblemished skin, that perfectly chiseled face, his perfect height, his drool-worthy body, that manly tattoo and badass piercings are every girl's wet-dream. He's a hottie, no, he is a God and he should be dating. The same goes to you, you are equally good-looking. Ah, how ignorant of me, you're twins so... duh! But your personality is awful, Kiriyu. Of course, there are always girls who would fall for the bad-boy types because I know I would."

Pin-drop silence enveloped the room as the twins stared at her in dismay.

Sensing the awkwardness, she cleared her throat and spoke quietly. "Ah, maybe you don't like girls but that is alright. I had been observing a few male students from the Night Class and they seem to like boys. I can tell you their names. It's okay to be gay but please don't drag your brother down with you. Oh my, Kiriyu-kun, I would never have guessed that you are... to Ichiru-kun... You have been doing it to your brother, haven't you? Poor Ichiru-kun, did Kiriyu-kun hurt you?"

Zero's internal bombs went off; it took all his might not to fire a bullet into her skull.

Stifling a bout of laughter, Ichiru said. "Zero is incapable of hurting me, sensei. You can be sure of that but just so that you know- he dislikes the guys from the Night Class as much as he _likes_ watching yaoi-porn." He had fatally spun the situation out of proportion.

"Why? The Night Class boys are hot bishounens. Wait, wait, what? OMG, so I was right?" Fujisaki Chigusa gasped and covered her mouth in shock. The counselor had overstepped all the rules of her profession by acting like a typical yaoi fan-girl. "Do you like porn? I do have a stash of them in my drawer. I was about to lend them to you before."

Eyebrows twitching, temper simmering, Zero tried his best to sound indifferent, "You mean those _girly _magazines that I confiscated from the pupils? I could have kept them myself if I was that curious."

"Hey, why didn't you show them to me? We could've looked at them together," Ichiru pouted.

"As if..." Zero assessed the possibility of ironing out the misunderstanding. However, given Ichiru's _hobby _of seeing him cringe and suffer as well as the counselor's borderline-crazed state, he gave up.

"Tch, I don't care anymore. I'm leaving," Zero left his perch, turned on his heels and made his way towards the door but Ichiru grabbed one of his arms to stop him.

"Alright, alright, I get it. Stay a bit longer and hear what I'm about to suggest," said Ichiru, pulling Zero to sit down in the chair beside him.

"And hold back my murderous intent while you convince her that I'm blazing gay?" Zero growled under his breath.

The counselor gaped in disbelief, "Huh? Are you implying that you're not? I'm confused."

Ichiru patted Zero on the back and said, "Like I've said before, who in the right mind has the nerves to sleep with him?"

"You," Zero growled again but Ichiru pretended he had missed it.

Ichiru let out a sigh and spoke solemnly. "We are grateful that you brought this matter to light and we are going to follow your advice, sensei. I will personally put an end to the confusion once and for all. Tomorrow, one of us is going to meet up with a girl."

"Are you saying that the two of you will give a shot at dating like I said you should?" Fujisaki Chigusa was visibly touched.

"Yes," Ichiru agreed without thinking.

"What?" Zero could not believe his ears.

"So tomorrow, Zero, you will wait for me at the water-fountain by the edge of the wooded area at five so I can introduce her to you," Ichiru explained. "I think you'll like her. But I'm not sure which one of us she'll choose."

Fujisaki Chigusa broke into an eerie grin, "You can always share..."

"Get a grip, woman!" Zero snapped.

Ichiru laughed lightly, watching Zero unsuccessfully try in setting the cowering counselor aflame with his glare. "And I hope Fujisaki-sensei will be there with a camera ready so we can spread the news as fast as we can."

"You don't have to go that far, Ichiru-kun. People would eventually notice," she protested before Zero could speak.

"I'm against this ridiculously cheap tactic. You're planning to stage a date? Besides, five would be too close to the class-changeover. We have prefect duties, you dolt!" Zero let his voice take on a few decibels higher than his usual monotone.

Ichiru chuckled and patted Zero on the shoulder. "No, it is best we do it that way. You want the _twincest circus _to be over so you have to trust me, Zero. No matter what happens tomorrow, wait there, say nothing, be nice and go along with my plans."

Zero searched Ichiru's face for any signs of deceit but found none. He was planning to upstage Ichiru- his brother was not the easiest person to trust given his numerous track records and tendencies to trick him. However, the excited screams that erupted outside the window the moment he turned and looked down at the females below changed his mind.

"Will your plan solve everything?" Fujisaki Chigusa asked, her words the exact same thing that Zero had in mind.

Ichiru cocked his head to one side and smiled charmingly. "You will have to show up and see."

0000000000

"Hey, do you have any idea how much trouble you've caused?" Somebody had interrupted Zero's precious sleep.

He opened his eyes, sat up and aimed his gun in between a pair of clear blue eyes. Zero knew them too well- Aidou Hanabusa.

"Ah, you're as dangerous as ever- that makes my blood sing," jeered the blonde vampire. Teasing Zero was one of his favourite pastimes and seeing Zero's barely there smirk told him that the vampire hunter didn't count him as a threat.

"Buzz off, senpai." Zero retracted his weapon, holstered it back underneath his jacket and stood up before the crouching Level-B.

Aidou sneered as he rose up to his feet and assessed the surroundings. "Buzz? You should tell that to that fly over there. What is so appealing about this stable that draws you in here? Is it that temperamental old horse? Can't Level-Ds smell dung?"

The blond vampire knew exactly how to annoy him but Zero refused to cave in. "Obviously you were drawn here too when you are clearly not supposed to be out here. The flaming, UV-ray emitting, ball of fire is still shining brightly out there. Ah, you are _here_; that means you are desperate to see me."

"Oooh, feisty. I have nothing against the sun and besides, I need a quick tan," Aidou rolled his eyes and exhaled noisily while reaching into his coat-pocket. "For the eternally surly Mister Hunter, here, you ought to see this," he handed Zero a piece of photocopied paper.

It was a copy of the fan fiction that Ichiru had read aloud the day before but at the bottom of the page, there was a line that goes _**"This is not fiction!"**_ printed in bold.

With a defeated sigh, Zero let go of the paper, watching it drop onto the hay-covered floor.

However, to his consternation, Aidou snickered and picked it up and began reading a paragraph.

"How dare you start without me? Zero growled, ripping his tie off and pounced at the other two. He pushed Kaito off and pried apart Ichiru's lips with his fingers. 'Nii-san, I don't…' Ichiru's words were lost as soon as Zero sealed them with a bruising kiss-Heeeeey!" Aidou protested because Zero had snatched the paper, balled it up and fed it to the horse. The animal chewed but spat it back out.

"Where did you get that, pervert?" Zero was incensed but Aidou was unperturbed.

"What a prude. They are everywhere. This was distributed in the Moon Dorms and I saw a bunch of bawling Day Class girls holding the same piece of paper on my way here. You've broken so many hearts today, bad boy," said Aidou cheekily while he pulled out another copy from his pocket.

"So you are here to make fun me?" Zero wished he could burn the blasphemous piece of paper to cinders with his glare but he didn't have that 'talent'.

"No, I'm here to witness you being torn into shreds by a hoard of scorned females," Aidou's blue eyes sparkled like diamonds as he waved the copy in the air.

Zero picked up some voices growing louder and louder approaching the stables. "Ah, and naturally, you've led them here too."

"Hah, of course I did. You can stay, but I recommend you to make a run for it," suggested Aidou merrily.

At that moment, the stable door flew open, revealing at least thirty female students. They spotted the two vampires immediately and hell broke loose.

"There he is!"

"Is he Zero-sama of Ichiru-sama?"

"How should I know? Ah, that demonic horse is behaving and he's scowling- he's Zero-sama."

"Kyaaaa... Zero-sama, we need to know the truth."

"Hold on, there is no way the Kiriyu brothers are doing _that_ with Takamiya-sensei!"

"Who the hell is this ChibiKYPrincess? I'll shave her head bald for writing this, this... atrocity!"

"Hey, calm down, we are here to get answers, not create trouble for Kiriyu-sama."

"Did the other group find Ichiru-sama?"

"Don't know- wait- I'll call them."

"Look, look, a Night Class student."

"Eeeeh, why is Idol-senpai here?"

"Oh, my God, he's holding the flyer. Could he be?"

"Oh, my God, there are fics about Zero-sama and Idol-senpai too you know."

"Oh, my fucking God, Aidou-sama is confronting Zero-sama!"

"Aidou-sama asked us if we have seen Zero-sama just now. Oh, my God, no!"

"They, they are... together?"

"Kyaaaaaaa...!" all of them screamed and rushed forward.

Zero glanced beside him to whack Aidou for making things worse but the blonde vampire had disappeared. Growling in irritation, Zero exited the stables through the back door with the group of bigoted females hot on his heels.

Dashing through the field, he checked his watch- ten minutes to five. Ichiru told him to be at the water fountain by five. He had thought of not showing up but looking back at the determined girls, he figured that he should lose them, show up at the designated place, grab Ichiru and go home.

Zero sprinted faster; he entered the school building, thinking that he could slow them down along the labyrinth-like hallways. It was going smoothly. Half of the girls had either slowed down or had exhausted themselves running after him. Seizing the chance, he made a detour into a vacant classroom, opened a window and jumped outside.

However, as soon as his feet touched the ground, the school intercom blared, "Attention students in pursuit of _you-know-who_, he has escaped to the courtyard. Do your best to round him up because TRUTH MUST BE SERVED!"

Zero could recognize the annoying voice anywhere._'__Aidou Hanabusa,__'_ thought Zero as he sprinted towards the wooded part of the academy. Unfortunately for him, several females had spotted him, whipped out their cells and started texting. Fifteen seconds later, he could hear a stampede closing into him from all directions.

"Saa... Minna-san, let's get Kiriyu. Text, text, text, my darlings. Utilize the frightening, yet prevailing power of networking," Aidou's voice echoed throughout the school compound.

Zero growled when he saw another group of females emerging from the corner of the building. He took off as soon as he heard them squeal his name.

Doubling his speed, he sprinted towards the water-fountain, determined to secure Ichiru, ditch the class-changeover and flee the school grounds.

He felt Ichiru's presence as he closed in the designated place but to his puzzlement, he could sense others too- Level-B vampires, at least two of them. Although there was no conflict or threat in the auras, he couldn't help but to worry about Ichiru. He didn't doubt Ichiru's ability to fend for himself but the cynical wit and razor tongue combo that he had were enough to set bombs off.

Zero could see the top of the fountain in the distance; he bounded up into a tree to get a better view.

Looking down, he saw three figures clad in the academy's white uniform, one male and two females; they were from the Night Class. Zero could recognize the red-haired male and the pigtailed, blond female anywhere- they were the dynamic-model-duo, Shiki Senri and Touya Rima. However, he had never seen the other, a tall female with long silver-ish hair. She was sitting down on the grass with her back to him- he could not see her face.

"Perfect. Now stand up, gaze straight at him and move to the next position," said Rima in her smooth voice.

"Stand, gaze, position...?" Zero mumbled to himself as he continued to assess the surroundings. There were several things scattered around- bags, some white plastic boards, and he even spotted a stuffed animal lying next to the silver-haired vampire. Shiki was holding a complicated looking digital-camera while Rima had one hand on her hip and was holding a black parasol with the other.

There was a slight rustle of fabric and then he heard the unidentified female complain. "You have enough frames to use for the damn site." Her voice sounded familiar but Zero could not place it anywhere.

"_Where the hell is Ichiru?"_he wondered.

Zero could feel him close by but he was nowhere in sight save for the three strange bloodsuckers. He reminded himself to strangle Ichiru when he saw him. There he was, perched up in a godforsaken tree like a perverted prowler stalking three individuals from the Night Class who were engaged in something that looked like an amateur photo shoot. Ichiru, who had told him to be there on time was nowhere in sight.

As Zero was conjuring all the possible methods of torture he was going to apply to Ichiru, Shiki said something out of character in that lazy drawl of his, "We agreed on a hundred shots. Now hike your skirt up a bit, think _playful_ and look at my camera."

Zero's mind saw red. _'__Shots, hike skirt, playful, camera... Hentai photoshoot?__'_

There is no way Zero would allow such a thing on school grounds but he was not going to do anything until he had solid proof. All he had to do was wait for Shiki to snap something X-rated with his camera and then he'd snatch it. Perfect. The almighty Kuran Kaname, the smarmy leader to the lowly leeches would have a ball having to clear everything. Zero could not help but smile smugly- he had forgotten about Ichiru for a second.

"Of all the expressions that exist in this world, you want _me _to give you _playful_?" the silver-haired unidentified model sneered while adjusting the length of her skirt_._ Her long silver hair curtained her face from Zero's view but Zero could tell that her _lip-gloss_ slicked lips were curving up into a smile.

Zero had a feeling that he knew the silver-haired vampire girl from somewhere. He studied her again. She was unusually tall for a female, standing confidently with her long, well-toned legs spread a bit too widely for females. Her strong shoulders were enviably broad. Again, he told himself that he had seen her from somewhere before but he could not place a finger on it.

"Why can't I give you my usual expression?" complained the silver-haired vampire girl again. This time, Zero noticed that her voice was just a little too deep.

"Why scowl when you are way, way, way much cuter than Ruka?" asked Rima.

"Tch, Ruka? I'd rather die than to be compared to her," the mysterious female scoffed, tossing her hair out of her face.

Suddenly, a strong gust of wind blew. Rima yelped as she dropped her parasol to keep her skirt from lifting up. However, to Zero's puzzlement, the other female vampire did absolutely nothing- she let her short skirt flutter wildly so Zero discovered something else- that she was wearing boxers instead of panties. Those boxers looked familiar too- he himself owned an exact pair. Boxers and a female, vampire or not just didn't go together so he concluded the obvious; the mysterious silver-haired vampire was a cross-dressing male- and Zero himself would have to burn his own pair as soon as he got home. A sick, disgusted feeling pooled in his stomach; suppressing his urge to hurl, he lost his balance. He grabbed onto a dead branch above his head but it snapped.

The three vampires below heard and turned towards his direction. They had spotted him.

Zero jumped down to the ground, landed lightly on his heels and stood up to face the three.

Shiki, seeing Zero, sighed as he lowered his camera.

Rima unfolded a black, lacy fan and hid her smile.

Much to Zero's shock, the cross-dressing male stared coldly at him and sneered, "Finally, you're here. What took you so long?"

That was when Zero noticed the strange vampire's eye colour- the same shade of purple as his. There was only one person that had it other than him- Ichiru. He had stumbled upon a photo session with his brother as the main subject. He felt blood draining away from his brain.

Zero growled, marched over to Ichiru and grabbed him by the right wrist, "You've finally gone crazy; we're going home!"

Ichiru grinned.

Shiki rolled his eyes.

Rima clicked her tongue.

"Not so fast, you will still have to do as Shiki says or the deal is off," Rima warned. She turned her gaze towards the wide-eyed Zero, pointed a finger at him and continued, "I want pictures that can garner _that_ kind of reaction."

Ichiru combed his fingers through his long silky tresses.

Shiki had his camera poised and ready.

Rima picked her parasol back up.

Zero was on the verge of a massive temper-meltdown.

Moments later, they heard the Night Dorm gates open and there was a rumble of frantic feet approaching their direction.

The intercom blared again. "Head on to the water-fountain, darlings!"

"Shit, I can't let them see you like this! Let's go." Zero tugged Ichiru by his arm, trying to lead him away.

"See who like what?" asked a voice Zero dreaded to hear.

"Ah, Yuuki-sama," greeted Rima flatly.

There she was, standing wide-eyed in the middle of the stone path looking at the four of them. Her big brown eyes were glazed and her lips were trembling. She stood beside her eternally insufferable older brother, Kuran Kaname. He too had a strange look on his face.

Ichiru chuckled under his breath and ran his fingers through his _long _silver hair, wrenched his arm away from Zero and clung onto him instead. Yuuki immediately paled. Zero squirmed but Ichiru held on to him even tighter. He had a feeling that Yuuki was getting the wrong idea and Ichiru was going to exploit it to the fullest.

Shiki groaned. "Let's wrap up Rima. We'll do this some other time."

"The two of them are here, that pose is nice. I like their expressions. It can't get more natural than this so, please start snapping, Shiki," said Rima.

Shiki sighed in defeat, "As you wish." He poised his camera and began taking pictures.

The bright flashes were hurting Zero's eyes. Growling menacingly, he tried to drag Ichiru away from the scene but he stopped as soon as he realized that they were surrounded. The Night Class students had arrived and a storm of whispers erupted.

"Who is that with Kiriyu?"

"Who? The girl with the long hair?"

"Transfer student?"

"I have never seen her before."

"She's wearing our school uniform; she must be new."

"What is she doing with the school prefect?"

"She's glued onto him. Is she crazy?"

"Hey, I think Kiriyu is pretty hot."

"Shut up, you're not supposed to admire a hunter."

"I don't care; love prevails all."

"You're nuts. You _have _nuts."

"If you get the hang of those fics, he's gay. It means the both of us like people with nuts hanging."

"Go get him, man. If you can get passed Kaname-sama."

"Shhh... you shouldn't say that so blatantly."

"Ara, don't you think that girl resembles Kiriyu?"

"They say love is stronger if one looks like her lover."

"That's so absurd. But she does look like him..."

"You think her silver hair is real?"

"Then, do you think Kiriyu is wearing a wig?"

"No."

"How is she still alive? Clinging onto him like that."

"They look close, ne?"

"Kyaaaa~ I'm jealous."

"Shhh, do you want to get punished by the dorm president?"

"How can I not be jealous? They look good together."

"How can be she so tall?"

"Yeah, I'll kill for those legs."

"Pervert."

"Jealous."

"Shut up!"

"Ne, ne... Why does Yuuki-sama look upset?"

"Shhhh... you're not supposed to bring that up!"

"Is it my imagination or does Kaname-sama look upset too?"

"Shhhh... do you want to die?"

"We have to make sure Shiki-san uploads those photos online."

"Ah, I can't wait."

"Hold it, why is he taking pictures?"

"Beats me. As long as I get to see them, who cares?"

"Where is Aidou?"

"I think it was him on the intercoms."

"Oh, he's so dead."

"That means the humans will be here soon."

"Yeay, this means I get to see Emi-chan, Amane-chan and the rest."

"Did you just reveal that you know a bunch of _people_?"

"I'm an active Silverette, of course I get to make friends with _people. _Ne, look, I can smell them approaching."

It was Ruka who had ended the scandalous whispers. She stepped up beside Yuuki and asked the portentous question, "What is going on here?"

Shiki and Rima each let out a weary sigh.

The whispers erupted again. Scrunching her eyebrows together, Ruka brandished an accusing finger and pointed it at Ichiru who was busy keeping the squirming Zero still. "Who are you?"

"She doesn't look too happy to see me, ne?" Ichiru pouted mockingly.

"Don't make that disgusting face!" Zero hissed.

"Ara, ara... possessive as always," Ichiru pouted more, he freed Zero's arm but to his surprise, Zero caught his hand and tried to lead him away.

"Stop!" Yuuki had spoken. "You can't take her away. If you do, I would have to punish her severely for skipping class."

All eyes were trained on her. It made sense. Ichiru was wearing a Night Class uniform so Yuuki must have mistaken Ichiru as a new student. Kaname remained indifferent. As Zero and Ichiru turned to face Yuuki, the whispers erupted again.

"Neither my brother nor I have been informed of her enrollment so until this situation has been clarified by someone of authority, she will have to remain with us." Yuuki sounded convincing enough.

Zero and Ichiru glanced at each other. They were surprised that none of the vampires had figured out that Ichiru was only cross-dressing. Ichiru's lips curved into an amused smile. Zero sensed an impending shockwave of chaos about to be unleashed by Ichiru upon the school population.

The Day Class students arrived and Zero could see Fujisaki Chigusa at the back of the crowd, an approving smile plastered on her flushed face- she must have run all the way together with the mob. Like the Night Class before, the humans too were outraged seeing a Night Class _girl_ standing close to Zero.

Zero assessed the surroundings for an escape route and found one- they could make a run past Yuuki and Kaname because being royalty, nobody was standing near them. He was about to haul Ichiru away when an annoying blond appeared out of nowhere and stopped him.

"How rude! Aren't you going to introduce her?" Aidou's smile was downright lecherous. Pin drop silence shrouded the area. Zero could literally feel the curiosity emitting from the onlookers.

Just count on Ichiru to make things worse. Clinging tighter onto Zero, Ichiru emitted a feminine gasp and said something that almost gave Zero a seizure. "Please, Ichiru, let's haste. I'm frightened."

Yuuki, convinced that the Kiriyu standing before them was Ichiru, let out a relieved sigh.

Kaname was not convinced because the one called _Ichiru _smelled like Zero but he couldn't say anything about it.

Aidou grinned knowingly and decided to play along in making Zero squirm.

Shiki couldn't care less and continued taking pictures.

Rima opened a box of pocky.

Ruka imagined herself being surrounded by a jealous crowd, hanging on to Kaname.

Kain would kill to have Ruka cling to him like that.

Ichiru, realizing Zero was about to have a fit buried his face in Zero's chest to muffle his snicker.

Zero wanted to tear Ichiru's wig off and reveal everything but refrained to do so in case the bird-brained onlookers ended up mistaking the cross-dressing Ichiru as him instead.

The rest of the onlookers didn't really care which Kiriyu twin was standing before them anymore because the new Night Class girl was acting scandalous at the moment.

"My, my... You're dating somebody behind _his_ back eh, _Ichiru_?" Aidou leered at Zero.

"Spewing nonsense now are you, blondie?" growled Zero warningly. He realized that Aidou was going to play along with Ichiru.

"What is he talking about? Do you have somebody other than me?" Ichiru used a feminine tone again.

Aidou whipped out the photocopied fanfic out and handed it over. The crowd gasped as Ichiru pretended to read.

"It's all in there, my love. Whoever this ChibiKYPrincess person, she had perfectly captured the truth about Ichiru and his twin brother's real relationship. Now will you ditch this _Ichiru_ of yours and come away with me?" Aidou spoke consolingly and reached out his hand.

The whispers erupted again.

"Kya~ Idol-senpai is going to steal Ichiru's girl!"

"Riiiight, something feels off."

"Ne, I thought we were running after Zero-sama before. Why is Ichiru-sama suddenly here all of the sudden?"

"Yeah, where did Zero go?"

"I'm confused."

"Seriously, I'm dying to know who that Night Class newbie is."

"Seriously, she resembles Ichiru-sama."

"Idiot; only Zero-sama does."

"Is she Zero?"

"Idiot; there is no way Zero-sama could grow his hair out that long."

"Maybe the Kiriyus are actually triplets?"

"Idiot!"

"Oh no, I think the girl is crying."

"OMG, how could Idol-senpai give that to her? Her shoulders are shaking, poor girl."

"Did Aidou just confirm that the fic is actually true?"

"No way..."

"You mean Ichiru-sama has been dating a girl behind Zero-sama's back?"

"Are you saying that the Kiriyu twins are gay?"

"Of course they are gay."

"Then why does Ichiru have a girlfriend?"

"..."

It was Ruka who interrupted the storm of whispers, "That's it. Aidou, step aside!" She walked pass Aidou and stood before Zero. "You, Kiriyu Ichiru, where is Kiriyu Zero? I demand for this nonsense to be cleared once and for all. Just who is she?"

Before Zero could speak, Ichiru had stepped up to Ruka, "Ne, Ichiru, is she the Chibi Princess person?"

"Quit it!" Zero snapped and yanked Ichiru back.

"Are you defending her?" Ichiru was doing a very commendable job impersonating a scorned female.

Gritting his teeth, Zero struggled to keep his temper down, "No, stop and let's leave." He hadn't a clue why Ichiru was misleading everyone but he was not going to linger and find out.

"Then prove to everybody that you have me and the disgusting story is not true!" Ichiru pounded Zero's chest with his fists a bit too hard.

Winded, Zero glared at Ichiru and croaked, "How?"

"Kiss her," a rich, velvety voice chuckled out of the sudden. It was Kuran Kaname, cool and composed- yet his eyes regarded Zero's challengingly.

Shell shocked with the Night Class President's unexpected quip, silence enveloped the crowd.

"Kissing is prohibited on school grounds, Ichiru-kun, but I promise all you will get for it is my blessing- oops…fair warning," Fujisaki Chigusa uttered something crazy from the back. Zero could see her camera held readily in her hand. Disgusted, he turned to Ichiru and signaled to get ready to bolt.

To Zero's consternation, Ichiru smiled innocently at him, let his hands drop gracefully by his sides and closed his eyes. There were some "oohs" and squeals of excitement coming from the onlookers.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Zero snarled under his breath.

Ichiru opened his eyes, leaned closer to Zero and whispered back, "I'm imitating a typical shoujo-manga heroine who is about to have her first kiss taken away by the stubborn male lead."

"You're crazy," accused Zero.

"Of course. Who in their right mind has the nerves to conspire with the modeling-duo, dress like a girl and call you 'Ichiru' on front of everybody just to clear up some stupid rumours that you can't personally handle." Ichiru made sure he spoke low enough, only audible to Zero.

"I can't kiss you just because _he _said so," Zero remained defiant.

"In case you've forgotten, _you _are currently _me_, Ichiru, not Zero. Are you afraid that Kuran might get the wrong idea?" Ichiru ignored the excited crowd and smiled suggestively at Zero.

"I don't care what Kuran Kaname thinks."

"Ara, I was referring to Kuran Yuuki."

"Damn you."

"Do you want the girls dispersed?"

"Close your eyes," Zero settled his hands on top of Ichiru's shoulders and tilted his head to one side.

"Make it convincing," said Ichiru as he felt Zero's breath on his lips.

They could hear Aidou leading the crowd chanting, "Kiss, Kiss, kiss..."

As he was about to touch his lips to Ichiru's, a small body knocked Ichiru away from him. Snapping his eyes open, he saw Yuuki glaring fiercely at him while hugging a bewildered Ichiru. "Enough with your tricks, Ichiru, how could you do this to Zero?" she yelled, wrapping her arms protectively around his skirt-wearing brother.

"Yuuki-sama?" Ruka was as flabbergasted as the rest of the onlookers.

Zero saw Ichiru's well hidden smirk and paled. Then he saw Kaname standing a few feet away from Yuuki and Ichiru, doing absolutely nothing- obviously enjoying himself watching the inevitable chaos unfold.

"Minna, I am ChibiKYPrincess and it was I who started writing the Kiriyu twincest fan fictions." Yuuki was on the verge of tears. The fan girls gasped in disbelief.

"No way, those smutty yaoi stories? How can someone of your standing come out with that kind of porn writing? It can't be you," Ruka added oil to the fire.

"I did. I'm so sorry, Zero. I didn't know it will spin out of control like this. It was fun at first, getting good reviews and all but I got addicted so bad that I couldn't stop writing all of those lemony scenes between you and Ichiru even though Kaname told me to stop. I'm so sorry." Yuuki had started crying.

"Then why are you fessing up now?" asked Aidou.

"Can't you see what Zero is wearing Aidou-senpai? I've turned Zero into a transvestite!" Yuuki cried and hugged Ichiru even harder.

"No that is not Zero, Yuuki. I'm Zero," Zero stepped forward towards her.

However, Yuuki shook her head in dismay and bawled anew, "No, Ichiru. You don't have to sacrifice yourself, pretending to be Zero when it is all too late. It's too late; Zero has developed a weird habit and it is entirely my fault."

Ichiru hid his smile underneath his long silvery wig while patting Yuuki's back in a brotherly way.

It had never occurred to Aidou that he might have so much fun seeing something being blown out of proportion like this.

Rima was busy estimating the amount of money she could make by selling the pictures.

Shiki was still busy taking pictures.

Ruka could not believe that _Zero__'__s _complexion was better than hers.

Kain thought '_Zero' _was cuter than a girl and wondered why he hadn't said anything the entire time.

Yuuki had permanently sealed Zero's fate as Cross Academy's first transvestite.

0000000000

"Go away." Zero didn't bother to open his eyes; the person approaching him was someone he knew too well. Dawn was approaching and he was trying to catch some sleep in the stables before class started.

"You should be thankful that I have graced you with my presence," the rich, velvety voice broke Zero's peace.

"Sure, just in time to see me wrestle with my conscience- should I or should I not try to kill you?" quipped Zero as he rose to his feet. There standing before him was Kuran Kaname an inconspicuous looking box tucked in his arms.

"I'm glad you have deemed me worthy to deserve your murderous thoughts and in place of your brother. After all, it was he who had provided the window of opportunity to tarnish your reputation- all I did was give Yuuki a little push."

"Manipulative bastard."

"I'll consider that as a compliment," said Kaname haughtily. He produced an envelope and extended it to Zero.

"Anthrax?" Zero could not resist irritating the pureblood.

"Better to kill you with worldly riches- a reparation for some of my charges' transgressions. It was Aidou who ran that contemptible webpage and Shiki's Zero-ko pictures are bringing in serious profit. It is impossible to take that down without initiating a school wide, estrogenically charged strike so I made him come up with a reimbursement."

"Use that to buy him a new server; I'm going to shoot holes in it tonight."

"Please do, but about this, just take it or leave it," smiled Kaname as he dropped the envelope containing money onto the floor.

"The horses will love it. Now, leave," glared Zero.

"Aren't you curious about this box?" Kaname gestured to the rectangle cardboard box he brought along with him.

"Can't say that I'm not- C4? Poison gas canisters?" replied Zero sarcastically.

"It is better to off you with good humour."

"Then humour me."

"I had the chance to pay our resident counselor a visit," said Kaname.

"Ah, that must be the stash of porn she wanted to lend me."

"Not exactly, I was inspired by her artsy choice of decor and decided to pick you a gift." The pureblood was smiling at him.

"Ah, you must have seen that eye-scorching rendition of Venus."

"Indeed. It is an inspiring art piece, a beauty arising from the depths of a tumultuous sea. She suggested that I should get you a present, to get your spirits up after all that ruckus. As a fellow student of course," said Kaname. He handed the box to Zero and left.

In the box was a neatly folded, girl's Night Class uniform and a note saying, "-Because I thought it would suit your new hobby."

* * *

A/N- Love? Hate? Tell me.. Review, review, review~ I wouldn't have posted this chapter if it wasn't for my beta. Thank you, luv you Doll! Below are the prompts that she gave me. How can I not share something awesomatic-fantanstically-LMAO-worthy ? ^^

What if...Ichiru is determined to humiliate Zero and circulates the print outs through the school?  
What if...the school intercom gets involved somehow?  
What if...Zero and Ichiru find out that one of the fics was written by Yuuki?  
What if...someone locks Zero and Ichiru in a closet on camera, expecting them to make out?  
What if...Ichiru dresses up as Zero-ko again? (please, please do this- it was my favorite part of the manga! ^^)  
What if...Ichiru mentions to Zero that someone might poison him with an aphrodisiac and Zero becomes too paranoid to eat anything he doesn't make himself?  
What if...the counselor has a stash of porn which she confiscates from students but keeps for herself?


	5. Night Class Trip

**Warning:** What if the Night Class had a trip to the hot springs? This is part one(hopefully). Crack, OOC-ness is MANDATORY. Ichiru's alive and looks exactly like Zero. E-X-A-C-T-L-Y alike. Coz I love the twins. Un-beta-ed: Switch you grammar 'auto-correct function' on.

**Disclaimer:** Too many. I'm guilty. Don't sue.

**Hot springs lingo**: Not everybody knows so just in case- **Onsen**=hot springs.**Roten-buro**=outdoor bath. **Ryokan**=traditional Japanese inn.

* * *

The Twincestic Twins Follies: (Night) Class Trip

"Kyaa~"

"I've never been to an onsen before!"

"I heard that the water's great."

"How did you know?"

"Emi-chan and Amane-chan told me."

"Who?"

"Silverrettes, duh! Fellow members of the twincest club."

"Oh... humans. You and your weird hobby-friends."

"Yup, they smell extremely nice too."

"Shh... Taboo subject. Yuuki-sama might hear you."

"Quick, undress and place everything in the baskets."

"Kyaa, they say there is a mixed, open bath over here!"

"Oooh, so exciting. They say hot springs can do wonders for the skin."

"Yeah, but more importantly, this is the chance to see the boys in the F-L-E-S-H!"

"The boys sure are assertive ne, choosing this ryokan. Usually they have separate baths."

"Who cares? I can't wait to see Idol-sama's milky skin!"

"And who has ripped abs."

"Kyaaaaaaaa!"

"Hey, Akari, wipe your drool."

"OMG you are perverts- all of you..."

"Shut up, Misa. Your nose is bleeding, ew~ But can I taste you?"

"Warning, taboo!"

"Oh, right. Gomennasai..."

"Can't you all strip faster so we can get out there? I want to see the boys in their skin."

"Heh, skin? What a baby. Imagine Kaname-sama's..."

"Kyaaaaaaaa!"

"Hey, do you want me to have an aneurism?"

"Sorry, Misa..."

"Rejoice comrades, fanatic fangirls, we can finally pick out the bleached blondes, bottled redheads from the naturals."

"Oooh, really? How?"

"Feigned innocence is cheap, Akari."

"I'm not faking; I really am clueless."

"We have to look at a certain patch down yonder and see if it matches with the lucious field on top..."

"What the heck do we have to look for? Weeds?"

"Hair."

"Kyaaaaaaaa, hail to the inventor of the _roten-buro_!"

"Does that mean we can determine whether Kiriyu's hair colour is real or otherwise?

"Which Kiriyu, dear?"

"Both!"

"Fu,fu,fu... Their hairs are definitely the real deal but I'm suggesting we stay _unconvinced_."

"Oooooh...!"

"Erm... Why does the school prefects have to tag along in a Night Class's class trip?"

"I bet they were told to keep the boys away from the girls. Boys usually will try to snoop, peek at us in our birthday suits."

"We wear suits?"

"Were you wearing anything on your birth day?"

"Ah, right. I get it. They are at that age ne..."

"Sure they are so, it is natural that they are curious about the opposite sex."

"Well, so are we, ne!"

"Mwaahahahahha...!"

"Let's call it a study of the male anatomy."

"Classy, I like it.'

"In the name of science, I agree!"

"But, but how are we going to erm... carry out our *cough* study if the twins will be guarding us from the boys?"

"Ugh, no... They will be very good at warding the boys away, especially Zero."

"Yeah, he will kill anybody who tries. He is one of those silent, protective types."

"I know right... Just look at how he monopolized Ichiru all to himself."

"Uh-huh, he's really into his twin ne..."

"Into...?"

"Ahaha... Not literally, I hope."

"Liar."

"Kya~ sexy. They look hot together."

"Fu,fu, fu... I bet the hot springs will further ignite their fire."

"Stop insinuating twincest stuff now. I like it too much. See, my nose is bleeding anew."

"Enough. We need to go back on our original purpose. How can we get close to the twin?"

"Hmm, right. Kiriyu Zero sure hates our kind, ne...?"

"But remember, he is also extremely dedicated to his job."

"Awesome!"

"And Ichiru always stay close to Zero."

"I love these get-two-for-one deals."

"We can't get to the other boys but we sure can get to the twins, ne..."

"But how?"

"I know, fake a massive, no, a whole series of stalker attack and make them guard us."

"Brilliant. A heavy breathing, sweaty, panty-stealing, boob-grabbing monster is coming after us."

"Yes, yes, make them hide in our room whilst we _help _ them lure the nonexistent pervert."

"Kya~ A chance to spend the night with the twins!"

"Hah, if there is a actual pervert, would he be fooled? The twins will stick out like sore thumbs. They are hot boys no matter how you look at them."

"Now that you've said it, it will look like a pair of twins frolicking with a harem of _bishoujo_s."

"My, my, we are pretty enough to be called bishoujos- you make me blush."

"However, must you use the word _frolicking_?"

"I wanted to say _licking _but I refrained myself earlier."

"Too saucy, ne?"

"Kyaaaaaa~"

"Uum... We could also dress them up as girls you know."

"Why didn't I think of that? Remember that time Zero cross-dressed?"

"Was that really Zero?"

"I don't really care actually. It is one of them for sure."

"Ah, I bought one of the pictures online you know. Here, look."

"Geh, he's prettier than us."

"Let's not make them cross-dress."

"Agreed. A pair of twins frolicking with a harem of bishoujos sounds much better."

"Licking."

"My, my..."

"Kyaaaaa~"

Suddenly, the door busted open with a bang, revealing a grim silver-haired boy wearing dark blue uniform and behind him stood another boy who looked exactly alike the other, smiling smugly. The girls shrieked in mortification.

"..." Zero narrowed his amethyst-coloured eyes.

"Ne, Zero. Have you ever dreamed of licking anyone before?"

"No."

"Me?" Ichiru pouted.

"No."

"Pretend that we didn't hear or see all of that?"

"Yes."

"You just kicked down the door to the girls changing room you know..."

"I know."

"We got to see them in their full glory.'

"Yes."

"I love you."

"Duly noted."

"Aren't you at least ashamed of your outburst?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Nothing burst-ed, thankfully."

"What?"

"You know what."

"Lecher."

"Straight."

"Where are we going?"

"Secure the guys away from them."

* * *

**A/N-**

This is a short(pervy) one. *laughing nervously* Ridiculous, ne? I intend to make this chapter sort of like a belated IOU to **Her Little Doll**, my beta.

But as for you, do you want that part two? Review...

Prompts are most welcomed too.


	6. Night Class Trip 2

**A/N: **Do think the trip is over? Fu, fu, fu… Here is another episode.

**Disclaimer:** Too many. I'm guilty. Don't sue.

**Beta: **Her Little Doll

* * *

The Twincestic Twins Follies: (Night) Class Trip Part 2

It was finally silent at the ryokan- Zero sighed, massaging his aching shoulder and blinking his weary eyes.

The vampires were acting like typical brats. There were a bunch of females who planned to sexually harass the males; shocking- but he managed to nip that one in the bud. Then Aidou nearly started a war in the ping-pong hall. Afterwards, it escalated into a strip-poker bonanza; everybody was wearing yukatas- gross.

More surprisingly, Kuran Kaname did nothing to stop his fellow 'subjects' raucous behavior, citing that was precisely the purpose of the accursed class trip- to unwind in a controlled environment. Consequently, Zero expressed his aspiration to blast a few bullets in the arrogant bastard's skull for the fun of it. Yuuki was horrified, her eyes watered and Ichiru glared at him. Ichiru glared, his cheery idiotic brother actually glared, chiding him for acting like an impertinent child, a prude with no taste for fun. That riled Zero even more; Ichiru had actually lashed him after he took Kuran's side over his? Preposterous!

Daylight came slowly and gloomily; the Night Class students had long turned into their tatami floored rooms. Vampires slept during the day. Zero stood still and felt tiredness pulling at his muscles, trying to drag him into slumber; but no, not yet- Ichiru was missing.

The two of them had split up an hour ago; Zero was to check on the human staff, just in case one or two of them ended up as 'snacks' while Ichiru would make sure all of the vampires retreated to their assigned quarters. The roll call was done as everybody was accounted for. Zero settled his shoulders against a wall, feeling his muscles melt- he was really tired, mentally fatigued and Ichiru's disappearance made everything worse. What if something bad happened? What if a group of perverted females got a hold of him? Who could resist making a morsel out of his precious brother? Zero cursed his active imagination, grinding his teeth in irritation.

Closing his eyes, he tried to 'feel' Ichiru. It should not be hard, he thought. They were twins and there was always a 'connection' that can be felt between them. He tuned in his senses, willing himself to seek out Ichiru's presence. It worked; Ichiru was somewhere in the western-wing of the large, wooden building.

Zero hurried along the corridors, past the tea-rooms, through the kitchen, past some dark storage rooms, ignoring the surprised staff members who asked him whether he was lost- annoying. He increased his speed, going further and further to the back of the ryokan until he met a dead end. There was a heavy oak door and his instincts were telling him that Ichiru was somewhere beyond it.

Suddenly, there was a change in the air- like a chill. Zero whirled around, searching for the source.

At first, he could not see anything but he knew what it was as soon as he heard a voice.

"It is indeed a nuisance to receive distressed calls from our host about a 'stray' trespassing. Perhaps you had the intention to lure me out here on purpose." It was the last person Zero wanted to deal with at the moment, Kuran Kaname. The brunette stepped out from the shadows.

If he could only bang his head on the wall to express his exasperation- scrap that, self-humiliation was definitely out of the question. Zero opted for frowning and leered, "Tch, you are sleepwalking, Kuran, this is all a bad dream. Go back to your room. It is best not to miss your beauty-sleep, _your highness._"

"Good try but I'm afraid I have to hold you responsible for disrupting my body-rhythm." Kaname's ability to remain unperturbed uttering something that corny was baffling- Zero has to suppress his urge to gag. Ignoring Zero's reaction, Kaname smiled and gestured towards the door. "At any rate, do proceed with whatever that you are about to do."

Zero scrunched his eyebrows, feeling skeptical. "...And I'm about to...?"

"Remedy your 'brother complex'," Kaname said a bit too happily.

"Ha?"

"He is beyond that door, isn't he?" the pureblood vampire lifted his hand and pointed haughtily.

"So?" Zero glared.

"Aren't you going to unhinge this one the way you did earlier today?" there was a hint of amusement in Kaname's tone. "Given your stolidity, I was astounded to learn that there is a lecherous side in you." That irritated Zero more.

Rolling his eyes, Zero turned his back to Kaname. "No, I don't feel like conspiring with you in any pubescent vandalizing activities. And the alleged lecherousness is my own business so, don't mind me," Zero answered him flatly.

"Really? Perhaps you would change your mind if there were unclothed females to ogle at beyond the threshold," Kaname gave Zero a meaningful smile, enjoying Zero's frustrated sigh. If Zero had even an ounce of embarrassment about his angst-y blunder breaking down the door to the female changing room, he was not showing it.

Nevertheless, Zero cringed internally as flashes of a group of irritating fangirls screaming in the bath's changing room played in his head. He had not busted the door on purpose; it was all anger gone wrong- he had not planned to lay his eyes on the girls in the first place. He was not in the mood to explain however, especially to Kaname.

"Better than to ogle at you," Zero seethed. He was about to tell Kaname to go away when his ears picked up a faint voice that sounded like Ichiru's.

"Ah, this feels good," the voice was slightly muffled by the thick door but it was clear that it was his brother's. It was Ichiru's tone that made Zero's mind went red. He had never heard Ichiru speaking so…sultrily. Determined to not show his anxiety, although the thought of kicking the door wide open did cross his mind, he pressed his right ear to the wooden surface.

Kaname heard it too. The pureblood vampire shrugged and smirked at Zero, obviously amused; it was not necessary for a vampire to go as far as pressing his ear to something in order to eavesdrop; standing there would be enough. Zero had never gotten used to being _one of them_.

The brown-haired demon was laughing at him.

Adding to Zero's consternation, he heard another person speaking. "I told you it would be all right." The other's tone was pleasant, almost charming- he had a feeling he knew that voice and apparently, so did Kaname. The smirk on Kaname's face disappeared.

Shouldering, Zero's aside, he too pushed his head against the door, narrowing his eyes as to warn Zero to save the insult-trading for later. Zero scoffed.

"Yeah, I trust you now. Do it to me again," Ichiru chimed, laughing.

Zero's eyebrows twitched.

Kaname widened his eyes, touched his chin with elegant fingers, expressing mock concern- all to rile Zero more.

"Does it feel that good to an ex-human?" Ichiru's _companion _inquired.

Zero glared at Kaname who has fixed a worried look on his face.

"Che, it was you who made me believe class does not matter in here. Why don't I return the favor afterwards?" Zero could literally picture Ichiru pouting while saying that. He clenched his hands into fists.

"I'll take you up on that offer," the other male answered readily. "Now come over here and straddle me again. I can't blow if you don't."

Somebody was telling Ichiru to get into a compromising position in order to do something to his precious brother- Zero saw red. He tried to grab the doorknob but Kaname caught his hand in a vice grip. Instinctively, he hissed angrily at the once again smirking pureblood.

There was some movement, some rustling of fabric most probably caused by Ichiru moving. "Now, suck it and blow it to me quick before Zero comes barging in on us," Ichiru demanded.

The other person laughed airily. "He would kill me for teaching you this, ne?"

To Zero's horror, Ichiru laughed along. He struggled to free his hand of Kaname's hold but the pureblood managed to twist it behind his back, pushing him flush against the wooden surface- the fiend let out a dark chuckle. "Why don't we wait and listen, hmm?" Kaname breathed down his neck.

"I never knew you were into voyeurism," Zero hissed venomously, repelled by the close proximity of their bodies. More accurately, Kaname's body heat was like needles prickling into his skin; if he could only reach for his gun.

However, the thought of attempting to blast his way out died when he heard Ichiru moan.

"Fuck," Zero panicked.

As if satisfied with Zero's reaction, Kaname released the vampire hunter and stepped aside.

"You may open the door now," said the pureblood, taking a step back.

"Where are you going?" Zero surprised himself by asking that question.

"Nowhere; I will bear witness, enjoy watching you self-destruct, perhaps. Feel free to retrieve your brother, in whatever condition he is in," spoke Kaname, wearing his usual poker face.

Kaname successfully instigated a flood of a _certain kind _of images in Zero's brain- he closed his eyes. His headache worsened; the pureblood was clearly playing him.

"Unless, you need me to hold your hand," offered Kaname, condescendingly.

Zero snapped, "Oh, why the hell not!"

Grabbing Kaname by the front of his shirt, Zero kicked the door open and dragged the resisting vampire into the room. It was dimly lit, filled with pungent smelling smoke- his eyes stung and watered. Then he spotted Ichiru, lying beside another vampire, a blond, on a heap of plush cushions in the corner of the room. The two slowly sat up and stared at them.

Zero let out a relieved sigh upon seeing Ichiru disheveled but still with every piece of his clothing on.

"Takuma, I must be high or is that really my Zero hugging your Kaname?" Ichiru slurred. Zero had never known Ichiru to be on a first-name basis with the other vampire.

Zero saw glee in Ichijo Takuma's eyes when realized he had an arm around Kaname's neck, all due to his effort to drag the brunette with him. He shoved Kaname aside before stomping his way to Ichiru's side. His brother gave him a playful smile and gave Takuma a good-natured pat on the shoulder. Their glazed eyes and buddy-buddy behaviour in that smoky, awful smelling space proved only one thing- they were indeed high.

"You are coming with me," Zero snarled at his twin.

"And miss all the fun with Takuma? No!" protested Ichiru as he held on to the green-eyed blond.

It was then that Zero spotted some discarded cigarette butts on the floor.

Shaking Ichiru, Zero growled, "What the heck did you smoke?"

"Weed," informed the almost forgotten pureblood vampire. Zero whirled around to find Kaname puffing on a stick.

"…." Zero lost his tongue. More precisely, his tongue was kind of heavy and he was beginning to feel light-headed. He gave Kaname a disbelieving glare.

"What? Never saw someone smoke one before?" the pureblood drawled, exhaling a trail of smoke.

Raising an eyebrow, Zero leered, "Who are you?"

Kaname shrugged indifferently, "That does not matter in here."

Before Zero could say anything, Ichiru spoke, "Hey, Takuma… Can we do it to Zero?"

"It?" Zero choked.

"Sure," answered the blond cheerily.

"Some like him can never take it," scoffed Kaname, taking another drag.

"Take? Take what?" Zero snapped, renewing his grip on his brother's arm in attempt to drag the un-cooperating dead-weight off the cushions.

"Ah, we will never know unless we try. You can do him, Ichiru. Kaname, keep him still,"

Before Zero could react, Kaname moved and wrapped his arms around Zero from behind.

Ichiru kneeled in front of his brother, reaching his hand up to pluck the cigarette from Kaname's lips.

Takuma watched the scene wide-eyed. "Ara, this is kinda hot. I wish I had a camera."

Zero paled and started to panic. "Hey, let me go! What the hell is going on with all of you?" He thrashed but Kaname was unmovable.

"Be still Zero and take it all in," said Ichiru, blowing up smoke up to Zero's face.

It was nasty but Zero managed to avoid inhaling any of it by holding his breath. Once more, he was surprised by Kaname's behavior. Chuckling huskily, Kaname gestured for Ichiru to take another drag before moving his right hand to hold Zero's chin in place.

"Come here and give it to him," said Kaname to Ichiru.

Zero tried to squirm but Kaname tightened his grip, fingers brushing against Zero's lips and coaxing them to part.

Ichiru reached out to lace his fingers into Zero's sweat-soaked hair, closing his eyes as he pressed their lips together. Their heartbeats quickened, deafening his ears- smoke filled Zero's hyperventilating lungs.

"Kyaa~ Why didn't I bring my camera!" Takuma let out a girlish squeal.

Zero felt Kaname releasing him before he stumbled into Ichiru's arms.

The pureblood vampire let out a satisfied hum.

He could not control his limbs, every cell in his body tingled.

It was all too much.

Zero blacked out.

"Second hand smoke sure is lethal on some people, ne?"

"Correction, some Level-D's."

"Aw, Kaname… forget the hierarchy."

"You and your rules."

"Huh, what rules?"

"Well, this is my hideout and whatever I say is the law."

"Correction; this is your weed shack."

"And I am proud of it. Ranks must be forgotten in here, Ichiru. Now we are just Ichiru, Kaname and Takuma."

"Ah, that sounds so hippy-ish."

"That is because Takuma dreams about being a hippy. This is his hippy-den."

"My family owns this ryokan; that earns me the right to have a den."

"And you enforced this 'everyone is the same level' rule thingy. What a way of abusing rights."

"Takuma has taught everybody how to get high since we were kids."

"Geh, you dared to teach a pureblood kid how to smoke pot?"

"And I am proud of that too. Everybody needs to unwind. All that transpires in here is a secret though."

"Eh?"

"Look at Kaname; he is an absolute bitch whenever he is in here. Whatever happens inside, stays inside."

"Boo, Takuma. I want to torment Zero with memories of his twin giving him the kiss of death."

"What is wrong with kissing my brother? I love him. He is not dead; the weed was just too much for him. By the way, the way you talk is weird, Kaname."

"Need I to remind you that this is Takuma's hippy-land. I am high, so I can talk however I want. Oh, Zero's eyebrows are twitching, Ichiru."

"Do you want to kiss him again? Kaname can help you out again."

"Eh, you will?"

"With pleasure; make sure you kill him for real this time."

"Kaname, that is so mean."

"Pfft… He can't even tolerate some pot."

"Why do you hate him so much?"

"Why can't I?"

"Then do you hate me too?"

"Why should I?"

"I do look exactly like him, if you noticed."

"Fu, fu, fu… I think our Kaname is the sort who bullies the one he likes."

"Takuma…!"

"Does that mean you like me too?"

"No!"

"Ara, nice one, Ichiru… You made him confess that he likes Zero."

"I don't like him."

"Then why do you insist on laying his head on your lap when Ichiru is obviously the one who should."

"Yeah, why?"

"I don't know. I'm high."

"Don't lie, Kaname. Weed does not affect purebloods."

"Zero's lips are twitching."

"Let him pretend a bit more, Takuma. I bet he likes lying on Kaname's lap."

"Ah, he is balling up his fists."

"Zero, I will kiss you again if you dare to wake up."

* * *

Hail Doll for beta-ing. Believe me, you guys would be reading this cringing if it was not for her. ^^ For those who reviewed the previous chapters, thanks a million- you guys are the reason (apart from Doll) why I crack my head once in a while trying to come out with crackfics. Get it? Ah, lame joke… *hides*

Drop me your thoughts people. Should I end this class trip already?


	7. Night Class Trip 3

**A/N: **Gomen, it has been a while, ne? I am not too proud of this chapter actually. *sigh* I haven't written anything for a long time so I'm a bit rusty. But still, I want to write something without over-thinking things too much.

**Disclaimer:** Too many. I'm guilty. Don't sue.

**Un-beta-ed, darlings. *cringe***

* * *

The Twincestic Twins Follies: (Night) Class Trip Part 3

Ichiru is all aware that Zero is giving him the cold treatment. Nothing unusual about that because Zero, being Zero; is naturally distant and not much of a talker.

Maybe he should have not conspired with Kuran Kaname and Ichijo Takuma in riling up Zero. He was not sure why he liked to tease his twin do much, as far as to ending up kissing him; that was wrong but he knew he would anyways. Alright, that was the night before and now; Ichiru is getting bored staying at the resort. Like Zero, he is getting tired of babysitting vampires too.

That reminds him of the present; the teenage vampires voted for the ultimate cliché affair; the must-have 'test of courage' over a karaoke competition- they wanted fresh air, they say. Ichijou Takuma stepped up to organize the event, instructing the vampire boys and girls to pair up for a walk in the woods in a quest to retrieve five tokens placed in different secluded spots. It is the perfect chance for teens to get to know each other and perhaps open a window to romance. Ichiru and Zero watched the whole pairing-up process in silence. The girls were given the chance to 'propose' to their intended partners- how unoriginal. They are vampires; even ghosts should be scared of them.

However, as the _princesses_ approaches their _knights, _prancing, pouting, wooing juvenile males; Ichiru did not miss the way Zero's eyes hardened witnessing Kuran Yuuki blush pink as Kuran Kaname kissed her hand in acceptance to be her partner. That was to be expected but still, Zero's reaction is inevitable. The younger twin tried to console his brother by expressing how hard it will be for them to not to break out in a murderous rampage, having to bear the company of one of those hormonal female vampires who are staring at them unabashed with their puppy-dog eyes, mustering courage to approach them. Fortunately, as the unspoken rule goes, the Kiryu twins, being school prefects, hunters to be precise; partaking in the Night Class's activity is not compulsory- they were there to observe.

Gradually, couples were formed; Souen Ruka stomped off moodily because Yuuki zoned in to Kaname before she did, the ginger-haired Kain trailed wordlessly after her, Aidou Hanabusa decided not to let any of his admirers down and ended up with a dozen females competing for his company, the unperturbed Touya Rima and Senri Shiki checked their pocky supplies before they quietly leave to accomplish their missions.

Ichiru glanced at the remainder of the Night Class, Ichijou Takuma the coordinator of the event, a few _unwanted _boys and not surprisingly, the no-nonsense Seiren who stared indifferently at them before adverting her gaze elsewhere. Ichiru sneered, asking Zero if they should give Takuma who was psyching the disappointed, _leftovers _to channel their dissatisfaction by acting as the scare-rs. Ichiru suggested to Zero that they could also give a hand in by playing the role of a two-headed monster, use it as an opportunity to assassinate Kuran Kaname and imprison Kuran Yuuki in a tower for eternity. Zero pretended to be impressed before he sarcastically praised Ichiru for his cunningness.

Zero let out a tired sigh, citing that they should leave matters to Takuma and unwind by going on a walk- just the two of them. Ichiru teased Zero, faking a surprised gasp, saying with that invitation; Zero has agreed to be the _girl._

"I would; if I could," Zero mouthed incredulously, squinting his eyes.

"I knew it," Ichiru smiled, knowing there was no truth in Zero's acerbic response; he reached out encircle his arm around Zero's.

"Pervert," Zero hissed, swatted his hand away as punishment and Ichiru quietly suffered. He loves his brother, in his own way, whatever it is- he smiled.

Zero was obviously still angry at him for humiliating him the night before. It is definitely better than double-crossing Zero again, right? Kissing a sibling is no different than the usual display of affection. Being twins just means they can do a little bit more.

Zero never resisted his _brotherly_ display of affection so far.

Should he take it to a deeper level?

It should be easy. They shared enough blood, a lineage, an inseparable bond, being born a pair to physically dominate him if he wanted to. That would forever tie Zero to him- irrevocably. _That _kind of bond was not his preferred option, but he would keep the possibility open in case Zero runs out of reasons to go on. And again Ichiru smiled at the decision that should have been alarming.

Ah, it also sounded like a hell lot of headaches since Zero could easily dominate him too. This time he cringed.

"Hmph, snap out of your little reverie, Ichiru. Are you coming?" Zero's voice shook his pout of his thoughts.

"Are we participating in the game?"

"No, but you can throw away any tokens that we come across,"

"And sabotage the Night Class couples' chances of winning?" Ichiru grinned. "I'm in."

"You would do anything for mischief, huh?"

"Can you blame me? I need amusement from time to time," said Ichiru.

They walked in silence. For the past fifteen minutes, Zero had chosen to go on a rocky path; obviously out of the way from the Night Class students- Ichiru realised belatedly.

Although it was dark, it is exhilarating to escape mundane duties for a few days to walk on cliff tops above thundering waves-Zero said he heard about the trail from the staffs at the ryokan. Wild and rough, with a feel like no other – trudging on weathered limestone cliffs, watching the dark, monstrous waves crash onto encrusted reef.

That was what he had thought half an hour ago. Presently, the labour of ascending the slopes, fixing his feet firmly as he climbed higher and higher up the rocky contours was getting the better of him, making him perplexed by the random thoughts of how he should go on if he wants to keep up with his brother. Where are they heading off to? The direction they are taking does not seem to lead them anywhere? Zero is quiet by nature but not this quiet. The solemnity of his brother and the uncertainty of their destination worry him. The resoluteness in Zero's step leading him is almost like they are not going to turn back ever again.

"Hey, Zero... Is this your idea of a walk? You are still mad at me are you?"

Zero stopped in his tracks to regard him, his silvery hair whipped around wildly in the cold wind. The look on Zero's face is unreadable; equally cold like the wind, pale in the glowing moonlight. "I am," said Zero.

"Is this your idea of punishment then?" Ichiru kept his voice low but Zero heard him because the elder twin smirked.

"Feel free to turn back, Ichiru. You don't need to accompany me," said Zero as he resumed his trek.

Ichiru was about to head to the ryokan but his instincts made him change his mind. Zero's tone was neutral but Ichiru's mind strayed since he knew Zero was still upset with him. What if something happen? What if Zero encounters danger? What if he never gets to see Zero again? Those are wild miserable thoughts; which he never had dwelled on ever since he had come to terms that Shizuka had truly left him.

Is he prepared if Zero leaves him too?

Ichiru stared momentarily at the drifting clouds, displaced by the twisting airstream, at the star mottled night sky above, as if they were singing a dull, ugly tune- mocking him for his renewed attachment to his twin brother.

Is he prepared if Zero world-weariness consumes him?

What if he loses Zero?

What if Zero dies?

Ichiru cocked his head to one side, folding his arms in contemplation. Not if it is by his own hands, it finally dawned upon him. As much as he cherishes Zero, it is inevitable that he hates him too. The realization of that particular thought made other circumstances of existence fade like a dream; and that thought only had to Ichiru the cruel reality of life. If he could not inspire love, he will cause pain. He should work at their destruction, not stopping until the two of them are thoroughly ruined; until they both curse even the hour of their birth- a fiendish rage animated him.

Ichiru let his gaze trail after Zero's lonely back; contemplating his next move. He watched his brother get further and further away, escaping the line of his sight when Zero disappeared behind a couple of boulders- he followed.

His feet brought Ichiru to a stop at the edge of a dramatic cliff. Below, giant swells explode across the bay, blanketed by ominous salt spray.

The view was breathtakingly magnificent.

Brushing his silvery hair aside, he closed his eyes and sighed. Something in him was urging him to go to his brother, immediately, as if things are bound to get out of hand of he does not.

Well, judging from the way Zero half-hearted effort _to oversee _the Night Class students back at the ryokan, throw in the potentially dangerous location his feet has brought him; Zero's sudden decision to ditch duties for a walk to _unwind_, worries him.

Is it due to fatigue? Is it boredom?

Zero is not the type to neglect his responsibilities.

Again, he looked down; one risks breaking bones on the jagged rocks.

How does it feel to soar off that precipice?

Liberated; most eventually.

Freed by the thundering waves slapping cliffs, murdering rocks waiting beneath.

However, who in right mind would want to jump off a thirty foot cliff into a sea of surging waves?

Zero?

Oh, yes he might. That was the exact kind of gamble he feels Zero might take- if one day he breaks.

Ichiru's admiration of the sea shattered at that thought. He did feel kind of… lonely without Zero being around, even for that short time he had disappeared on him. Since he had spent a few years being apart from the older twin and quite liking it, this was disturbing.

"Zero, Zero… Where are you?" he hummed.

He finally saw him, standing, a pale silhouette with pale skin and silver hair, clad in his usual dark blue blazer and slacks looking off an edge, oblivious as Ichiru made his approach, icy wind clawing at his face.

The sound of stones crunching beneath his shoes alerted Zero. He turned around.

"So?" he said, giving Ichiru a faint resemblance of a wry smile.

"I rather be with you," Answered Ichiru truthfully. "So I ask you again, what are we doing out here?"

"Nothing," Zero faced the ocean once more, motioning Ichiru to step beside him.

Ichiru did, that was when he saw the black, crashing force below, impacting the jagged rocks. There must be some natural caves and grottos carved along the coastline. He wondered if Zero is up to explore those with him- in case he asks. Of course he would.

"Up to no good are you?" Ichiru jested, making sure he was standing shoulder to shoulder with his twin. "Nothing can be anything."

"What do you think I am thinking?" Zero turned to him, narrowing his wind lashed eyes.

"That you are tired, angry, weary and you are mad. At me especially," Ichiru expressed his words carefully. "And that you find this precarious ledge _tempting_."

Zero did not answer immediately. Instead he regarded Ichiru quietly before uttering a response Ichiru dreaded, "How right you are."

"Of course, I know you. So I am here as your eternal company," for a moment, Ichiru dared not to trust himself to question, his own words was intermixed with an ominous, foreboding of evil- it made him sick in the stomach. He was offering to make a pact he may not want to have any part in, unless Zero wants him to.

To his surprise, Zero laughed; if a low, monotonous, rumbling sound he made could be considered as a laugh- Zero never laughed.

"Death does not suit you, Ichiru."

"But it suits you?" Ichiru remained still, gazing on the sea; he felt the coldness of that large body of water. "Do you believe I would let you jump off this unfamiliar precipice into the void of the unknown, by yourself?"

"Then I would not stop you," Zero chuckled sardonically.

Images of them pummeling down, smashed by the unforgiving rocks became more distinct, a darkness pressed around him. "Do you really want us dead?" the thought suddenly angered Ichiru.

"Wanting is the least of my concern. I am, by now is hoping to quit this miserly existence," Zero's solemn tone did not reflect his despair, only his eyes were downcast, as in hoping for Ichiru to release him. "There is not even an ounce of comfort left for me to receive from this world. Not even from you because even you betray me."

Ichiru secretly enjoyed the scene, of Zero's defeat; and yet his enjoyment was tainted by slivers of the past, and the crushed anticipation of their future. Zero, with his words, has single handedly reminded him of his own insecurities.

He connected his fist with Zero's face. That sent his brother crumpling down the hard ground.

"You deserve that!" Ichiru snarled, descending onto Zero, grabbing a fistful of silver hair to yank his head back. "How dare you threaten me? You do not have the capacity to leave me, admit it!"

Blood dribbled from a cut on Zero's lips down to his chin- the metallic scent aggravated him.

"Do you think I am joking? That I have no courage to pass my life right here?" a smile slowly crept to Zero's face. He used his fingers to wipe at his small wound, studied the red for a second before smearing it on Ichiru's left cheek.

Their eyes reddened instantly.

Zero let out a mirthless chuckle as Ichiru shoved him back onto the ground, collapsing his body right next to Zero's. Ichiru could not help but echo Zero's emptiness.

"God, not this…" Ichiru fought his sudden thirst, feeling his eyes burn.

"Hah, God? Do not call out to that fraudulent entity," scoffed Zero, making no effort or whatsoever to restrain himself. With eyes also burning like embers, he licked the blood stain off his fingers.

"I wanted to call out to a certain pureblood you and I know but given your temper; that would not be such a good idea," said Ichiru, covering his eyes with an arm.

"Shizuka? Sing her names if it pleases you- I no longer care," mocked Zero.

Ichiru replied acidly, "And I am supposed to believe you?"

"Only if it pleases you,"

"Stop it, Zero."

"I am furious!" he spat. "You and your selfishness; you always find ways to unsettle me. Why do you play all those tricks on me? Why did you conspire with those vampires?"

"Gomen… I truly am sorry," Ichiru finally realized. "I should have considered your feeling."

They stayed there, lying quietly on the ground, ignoring sharp rocks prickling against their backs.

"Are you alright?" asked Zero, tired of the silence.

"No, I'm not. My eyes are still red and so are yours."

"Do you need blood?"

"That is an unfair question when you absolutely ban me for consuming nothing but those nasty blood-tablets," Ichiru groused, "you, on the other hand had experience consuming some fresh necks, including mine."

"Spiteful…"

"Hell, yes I am," said Ichiru a bit too childishly.

"Unfair…?"

"Need you ask?"

"Fine," sighed Zero as he sat up, reaching for his top shirt button.

Seeing that, Ichiru blinked, "What are you doing?"

"The pleasant night air, the perfect atmosphere; they make me want to settle things now," Zero murmured in a lowered voice, unbuttoning the top three in practiced ease, "and since, I do not have any plans to walk off here, why not let you have _a fresh neck_?"

Ichiru gulped, "You are talking crazy. I thought killing yourself has been ruled out of the equation."

"Why… On the contrary, I am letting you have me. An offer to savor to the very last drop," the expression on Zero's face was serious, "I did exactly that to you before didn't I?"

"Yes, but…" despite of his reluctance, Ichiru's thirst intensified.

"After that, either to live on or to _follow suit_, it all up to you," said Zero, pushing his collar aside, baring his neck.

"How can you do this to me?" he can only whisper. However, the dark, vampiric being in him was already screaming for carnage.

Zero smiled to his brother, bringing up his hands to caress Ichiru's cold cheeks, he cocked his head to one side. "You owe me Ichiru, for the pain you have caused by degrading and turning your back on me. I would have followed you that night if you have asked me to."

"Don't lie."

" Alright, I lied; I would still declare an everlasting war against that mad vampire-woman. Then again, perhaps I would have endured because I love you," the smile on Zero's face could not be more heart wrenching.

Ichiru was lost, "I am sorry, Zero. I have no idea where to begin, to ask you to forgive me. Don't do this."

"Come on, this will be my final gift, a luxury of sensation that I could only give to you. Leave no room for sadness," coaxed Zero, embracing him.

"Zero, you are not yourself," Ichiru pleaded. "Why are you doing this? You are talking weird and you are scaring me. Can't you just use your gun?" Ichiru felt a lump in his throat, he was starting to tremble.

He heard Zero chuckle.

"You are being unfair," Ichiru made sure his voice reflected his anguish.

The next thing he knew, he was on his back. Zero loomed over him, his exact replica, seeing his own eyes, his mouth, and his very own visage staring down at him. He wanted to curse at his older brother, he did not need his determination- at least not of this sort. Screaming some sense into Zero will be useless, since Zero had delivered his ultimatum; all Ichiru has to do next is decide. He doubted his ability to stay sane after he loses his brother, no doubt.

"Why must you be this cruel?" asked Ichiru just before Zero's head swoop down. He saw a flash of fang, and he froze. But he only kissed his forehead, gently. It reminded him that Zero really does treasures him.

"I want you to remember me. Say goodbye, Ichiru." his brother's voice was soft, like he had never heard it before.

He felt Zero's weight comfortable; it reminded him that his brother will be gone, that he will never feel it again.

He wanted to cry when Zero interlaced their fingers, pinning his hands high above his head.

Soon he felt lips on his eyes, he closed them. Zero left sensations on his cheeks, down his throat, his shirt buttons being ripped apart as Zero kissed and nipped to draw blood. The sensations were killing him, he was melting.

Ichiru sighed when Zero touched their lips together. His brother was kissing him, chastely.

Then he heard footsteps approaching.

His hands were released before he felt Zero roll off him.

"Ugh, stiff acting," piped an unfamiliar voice.

"He bought it though," said Zero, flatly- his usual stoic demeanour slowly creeping back

Ichiru snapped his eyes open to zero in to the source. He saw her; the vampire-girl who did not take part in the earlier event.

Zero noticed, "I was killing time. What took you so long?"

"I like twincest," she remarked nonchalantly making Zero smirk.

Ichiru blinked because he swore he saw her blush.

"Killing time...? Incredible, that.. baka!" he muttered under his breath.

"Who doesn't, tch.. Did you get all the tokens?" asked Zero.

Seiren held out her right palm displaying five multi-coloured marbles- the test of courage tokens.

"I promised her I'd be her partner as long as she collects those herself. She hates losing to Yuuki as much as I hate to losing to Kuran," Zero explained innocuously.

"Ah, I can see that," Ichiru was boiling.

He watched Zero beckon Seiren to follow him back to the ryokan. She nodded.

An invisible flame consumed Ichiru, "Since when did you start associating with her?"

"Just a while ago," said Zero. "She asked me to be her partner and I said yes."

Ichiru got up to his feet and regarded Zero in mistrust. "No, she did not, she stared but she did not ask you anything," he accused.

"She did, I just know," Zero turned to Seiren and she nodded.

"Ha?!"

"It's chemistry, Ichiru."

"Jealousy is a hideous thing," remarked Seiren flatly.

"But sweet," Zero leered.

"Agggh… I don't care anymore. How dare you, Zero!" Ichiru seethed, lunged forward to grab the other two by the arms, "be prepared, you fools!" He added darkly as he dug his heels and charged.

Zero, seeming to understand Ichiru's intention, tried to free Seiren out of Ichiru's grip but failed.

Seiren, unable to stop the infuriated twin. Salty seawater stung her eyes as prayed silently for their safety.

It was a long way down after all.

* * *

Pbbbttt... right? Sudden drop. Here is a some of Part 4. Like? Review. Suggest something. You will read it soon if I manage not to drown myself in work (as usual). I'm running for the hills for the time being.

_His body is sore all over and his can hear voices speaking in low whispers. Somebody has laid him a thick, heavy blanket for he found the weight pressing on him comfortable and reassuring. Moreover, the smell of clean cotton sheets tells him that he was no longer at that cliff- he lives._

_It was like forever, that fall; the last thing he saw before he hit the water was Ichiru's angry face directed solely at him- Ichiru had always been the impulsive one. His only worry is whether his stupid brother survives or otherwise. Somehow, his instinct tells him that Ichiru is very much alive._

_"Why are you here, Kiryu? Go back to you room!" he'd recognize Aidou Hanabusa's annoying voice anywhere._

_"Please, Zero... I know you are worried about your brother but you must rest. You must not torture yourself like this," that was Yuuki, he registered._

_"Listen to Yuuki-sama for once, you darn idiot. I'd drag your ass out of here if it wasn't for the fact you are stupidly taller than me!" Aidou's shrill voice is damaging his eardrums._

_Then Aidou continued to rant about him being reckless, wandering off to the secluded cliffs with Seiren and Ichiru and how lucky he was to be found washed ashore with Seiren by the search party the morning after. Aidou's pitch was getting shriller and shriller by the second until he could not take it any longer._

_Zero snapped; he opened his eyes, forced his muscles to sit upright and roared at Aidou's direction, "Aidou, would you please, shut up!" His voice sounded alien to him; must be the saltwater, he concluded._

_Yuuki, who was sitting on his right, dropped a glass of water she was holding looking shell-shocked while Aidou stared at him in puzzlement. He was in a tatami-floored room and the rice-paper covered walls tell him that they must be back at the ryokan; rescued and safe._

_He saw a familiar silhouette, a silver-haired boy sitting in perfect seiza stance at the edge of his futon._

_"Ichiru?" he croaked. Again, his voice sounded strange._

_"Seiren..." the amethyst eyes narrowed dangerously at him as if he was issuing a warning._

_Why would Ichiru call him Seiren? He wondered. Immediately, his head throbbed so he raised both of his hands to massage his temples. Only then he realized how small his hands feel. Touching his face, he was shocked to find how smooth his skin was and that his mouth has gotten smaller. He ran his fingers through his hair and was surprised that it has grown longer._

_Before he could mutter another word, Ichiru, had risen from his spot, kneeled beside him and pulled him into a rough embrace._

_"Stay calm no matter what happens after this," the other boy whispered in his ear. "You ARE Kiryu Zero in there, are you?"_

_"What the hell are..." Zero's sentence was cut short because he felt a hand pressing against his chest._

_He intended to beat the lights out of the indecent bastard if it was not for the strange squishy sensation he was experiencing and Yuuki's mortified scream ordering him to get away from Seiren. Aidou was also spazzing, calling him a pervert as he jerked them apart, immediately entrapping his brother behind a wall of ice._

_As he watched his silver haired clone recompose himself, he saw his reflection in the ice. Zero felt up his own chest and wished he had never survived that fall. _


End file.

Vampire Knight, Humor