Final Fantasy VIII Blue Magic, Green Thumbs, And New Friends

_Blue Magic, Green Thumbs And New Friends_  
  
Quistis had very little inclination to muse about how she would be late to help with Zell's study session as she limped back toward the Training Centre entryway. Most of her attention was caught somewhere between making a concerted effort to ignore the pain in her twisted ankle and mentally berating Shiva for returning her to physical existence a metre and a half off the ground. In fact, she didn't give much notice to anything until she had a chance to sit down on one of the great fallen logs near the entryway.  
  
That was around the point where she realized that she had dropped her whip, and wasn't feeling very encouraged about going back for it.  
  
Then a Grat slithered out onto the path, waving its tentacles as if it wanted something. Probably food, nw that she thought about it.  
  
...oh, dear.  
  
The Grat opened its mouth, releasing a cloud of spore pheromones. Then it turned to her, making a low growlgurgle that was sure to indicate something, but Quistis didn't know what.  
  
This is a problem, isn't it? Quistis asked, shuffling through her stores of magic. I probably should have restocked after I turned everything in for inventory.  
  
The Grat quieted.  
  
Quistis blinked at it, staying very quiet and still as it crept toward her. Eventually, it gurgled something in Grat and waved a tentacle at her imperiously.  
  
You don't seem too intent on attacking me, Quistis said.  
  
The Grat quieted down again, tentacles waving back and forth in a Grat display of calm relaxation.  
  
Quistis decided. This is unusual.  
  
There was no response.  
  
...I suppose I have heard of monsters being calmed by hearing people talk, but I have to admit, I thought those rumours were largely spurious... although Instructor Burg did say I seemed to have a way with monsters, and that was why he suggested I hone Blue Magic abilities--you actually _are_ listening to me, aren't you?  
  
The plant monster made a happy little rustle.  
  
Quistis glanced around. I suppose it's better than being eaten. Although I have to admit, it's rather ironic--I haven't had the best of luck finding willing audiences recently, you know.  
  
The Grat leaned forward.  
  
I just don't think anyone else is really _interested _in listening to me, Quistis sighed. It's... very hard, sometimes.  
  
The Grat gurgled appreciatively.  
  
In any case, Quistis said, testing her ankle and wincing, if you're not planning on attacking me, I should probably be limping back to the Infirmary right now.  
  
Two more Grats slithered out of the underbrush, positioning themselves between her and the path. They waved their tentacles, making noises as protesting as a plant monster could.  
  
Quistis said, eyeing her dropped whip. ...maybe not.  
  
-  
  
By the time someone came in to find her she had already covered Squall, her life as an instructor, and how someone had killed her favorite Training Centre T-Rexaur. She was just beginning to recite the problems with her electric kettle when Zell rounded the corner.  
  
By that time, she had attracted an audience of about thirteen Grats, a hatchling Rexaur, and a squirrel. This not being the average state of affairs in the Training Centre, Zell's hail came out something along the lines of Quistis! Where were _huh..._?  
  
At once, six eyes and 104 pheromone-sensing appendages fixed on him. The Grats made a unified rustle of disapproval, the Rexaur growled, and the squirrel began to chitter angrily. Quistis was giving him a distinct look of _help me_.  
  
Er... is this a bad time? Zell asked.  
  
The foremost Grat gurgled an affirmative.  
  
Zell said, backing quietly away. I'll just... uh... be getting help. ...now.  
  
He disappeared with a speed only possible for himself and Selphie.  
  
With infinite calmness and only a very inaudible sigh, Quistis looked back to her audience. It was a very _nice_ kettle, she lamented. Xu gave it to me.  
  
-  
  
When Zell said he would get help, apparently he meant to bring in the heavy artillery. He came back with Squall, Xu, Nida, and Selphie--who was holding something Quistis _hoped_ was only a potato gun, but couldn't be sure. And, to be fair, she couldn't fault him for what might be termed an overreaction--the T-Rexaur hatchling had invited the rest of its clutch over, and the Grats were beginning to get hard to count.  
  
Squall was giving her a look that said, clear as day, _Only one of **my** friends would be able to get themselves into a mess like this._  
  
Quistis said as reasonably as she could. I guess we've given up hope for a diplomatic solution?  
  
Xu said carefully. How did you get into this situation?  
  
They seem to like hearing me talk. Quistis winced. I don't suppose any of you would have a glass of water handy, would you? Or a pressure bandage?  
  
GFs might be-- Squall began, but was interrupted by a loud, angry rumble as the crowd of monsters (and the squirrel) turned toward him and made minute, threatening motions. Squall took a step back, reaching for his gunblade.  
  
Wait, wait! Quistis stood up, forgetting her angle until she actually put weight on it and almost fell over.   
  
Everyone--including the nonhumans--watched as Quistis settled back down onto the log. She glanced over the crowd.  
  
she said, I'd prefer to end this with as little bloodshed as possible. she looked over to her _human_ friends. I don't want you to have to go wading through this... swarm, here, and given that they've been an _excellent_ audience.... She shook her head. I'd prefer not to slaughter them all, after treating them to the story of my life.  
  
Selphie leaned forward. Maybe you could ask them to leave you alone, Quisty?  
  
The thought had crossed my mind, Quistis said. Unfortunately, I don't think they can understand what I'm saying.  
  
We could cast sleep on _all_ of them, Xu tentatively put forth.  
  
I don't have too many Sleep spells, Zell protested.  
  
Well, between the six of us, we should be able to manage it.  
  
We'd have to work quickly, Quistis put it. I'm not sure how far their patience extends.  
  
I'd suggest-- Squall began. The reaction of the crowd was much the same as if he had drawn his gunblade and made as it to slice off limbs indiscriminately.  
  
Quistis motioned for calm, which seemed to have rather less effect that the one syllable she had said. Perhaps you shouldn't speak for a while, Squall.  
  
Squall would ordinarily have had no problem with that mandate. Now, however, he glowered a little at the nearest Grat--which glowered right back at him before turning to stare at Quistis again.  
  
I have it. Xu snapped her fingers. Squall has a few Auras left over--  
  
Squall glanced at her, about to ask before the memory of his last two attempts at communication caught up with him.  
  
And Quistis, you should have the Blue Magic spell Bad Breath....  
  
Quistis sighed. I _hate_ using that magic, she said. It always takes _days_ before the taste gets out of my mouth.  
  
Well, you wanted to get out of this with a minimum of bloodshed--  
  
Does anyone have a Sleep GF? Quistis asked, glancing plaintively across the group.   
  
Then Squall disappeared.  
  
A moment later, Bahamut appeared.  
  
The next several seconds were taken up by a mass exodus as every monster in the immediate vicinity tried to rip the others to shreds in an attempt to get away from the dragon.  
  
By the time Squall reappeared, the area was mostly empty. He gave Quistis a significant look.  
  
Quistis sighed. Was that _really_ necessary?  
  
Squall shrugged. Whatever. You should get to the Infirmary.  
  
Xu rushed over, giving her a hand up. she said. This will certainly make an interesting report, at least.  
  
Quistis sighed, hobbling along with one arm slung over Xu's shoulders. I believe, she said carefully, that I may never come in here to train _again_.


End file.

Final Fantasy VIII, Humor