Harry Potter 1. Crucio

Crucio

I could hear the screams.

In the dungeon, where the death eaters had brought the victims to be dealt with.

Where I would be going in just a few seconds to torture mudbloods and blood-traitors.

To prove myself to be a death-eater.

To make my father proud.

To sign my life away to the dark side.

What the hell was I going to do?

I could hear the footsteps approaching the door on the other side; I stood bolt upright nausea building in the pit of my stomach, wiping my sweaty palms on my trousers and attempting to control my persistently drumming heart. I was nervous, hell I was petrified, but I had to do this, I couldn't show up my father and disgrace our family name, I had done that too many times and I knew the consequences. So why the hell wouldn't my hands quit shaking?

The door banged open and my father glided through, his long black cloak billowing behind him and behind the skull mask covering his face, his piercing grey eyes looked crazed with malice and excitement.

"Draco" he ordered "It is time."

I took in a deep breath, a failed attempt at calming my nerves and made to walk past him.

He grabbed my shoulder as I passed and hissed menacingly into my ear "Don't even think about messing this up" before giving me a rough shove into the room.

_Ok_, I thought lifting my head and stalking further into the dark room, _don't panic this is what you always wanted right? To be accepted into the Dark Lord's ranks and make your parents proud. So stop shaking for God's sake!_

"Ah Draco welcome" the familiar hissing voice sent cold shivers of fear down my spine. The Dark Lord stepped forward from the circle of death eaters and I immediately dropped down to my knees mumbling "My Lord" as I had been repeatedly told to do in the Dark Lord's presence.

"You may stand Draco" The inhuman voice said and I shakily got to my feet once more, whatever confidence I had was rapidly diminishing.

"Now tell me young Draco, look at these people and tell me what do you see?"

I didn't know what to say and even if I had I highly doubt I could have formed any words, my voice box seemed to have closed up on me at the most inappropriate time.

The death eaters began to snicker and the Dark Lord held up a hand, immediately silencing the laughter.

I tried again "I-I see traitors and mudbloods that deserve to be p-punished" I only just managed to stammer out.

The Dark Lord watched me closely for a second and then with a pleased look uttered words I really did not want to hear.

"And so they shall be Draco, take out your wand"

I did as I was told, my hands trembling with fear.

"Now, do it! Torture them; show us all that you are good enough!" It was an order I couldn't disobey. I stepped forward and the deatheaters reformed their circle around the innocent people cowering on the floor. I lifted my wand refusing to look directly at the faces of the innocent people I was about to torture. If I looked at their faces I know I would be sick, if I looked directly at them then this would be real.

I took a deep breath and raised my wand.

"Do it Draco! Now! Teach those worthless scum!"

_Please_, I prayed, _if anyone is up there. Help me._

"Crucio"

Ok so this is my second story that I've started! I really hope you like it and you know what to do, review, review, review! I've got exams just now but bear with me cos I do promise to finish this story! XxX


	2. My Escape

My Escape

How could they bear it? To stand and watch, _enjoy_ watching, all those people writhing on the floor as pain consumed their entire bodies.

I stood there frozen, not looking at them, shutting my eyes so I wouldn't have to see the result of that one word I had so cruelly spoken, while the death eaters laughed mercilessly and clapped, I wasn't even aware of my father's approving gesture of nodding towards me, showing for the first time in years that I had done something right.

It was only when the Dark Lord himself placed a cold, long-fingered hand on my shoulder that I made any kind of movement, jumping at the scaly touch.

"Well done Draco, I am impressed, I have to say I did not think you would be able to do it" The Dark Lord spoke "But it seems that Lucius has taught you well"

The scaly hands moved up from my shoulder and touched my cheek while I tried my hardest not to throw up, scream or bolt out the room even though I felt like doing all three.

Even with my eyes closed I could almost see the snake-like face smirking as he spoke again. "Look at them Draco, open your eyes and look at the scum. You should be so proud of yourself"

I opened my eyes more out of terror as to what would happen if I disobeyed and certainly not willingly.

I looked down at them then, for the first time I actually _looked_ at them. The faces of the people I had just ruthlessly tortured, who had pleaded with me to stop. There was a young girl in amongst the group, who could only have been about eight, her dirt covered body, her mouth open in a scream that wouldn't stop, tears running an unrelenting river down her pale, innocent skin. _What had I done?_

The Dark Lord turned to the rest of the group, ordering them all to leave and they did. Grabbing the victims that would most certainly be killed and disposed of; they all apparated out of the room until it was just me and the Dark Lord.

I couldn't look at him, my eyes were fixed on the spot where the girl had been. I felt numb, like a statue I stood in the room, unmoving not even blinking and so cold.

"Until next time Draco" The Dark Lord spoke then he too vanished in a swirl of black, leaving me alone in the deafeningly silent room.

I don't know how long it was, maybe seconds, maybe hours but my whole body began to shake, insistent tremors bringing me to the ground where I began to scream and sob, just like the people here before me, like I was a victim too. I curled up into a foetal position on the cold stone floor clutching at my head, silently begging myself to wake up from this tormenting nightmare.

Sometime later the door to the dungeon creaked open, a sliver of light reaching into the room.

My mother stood in the doorway a look of sadness and pain creasing her flawless features.

"Draco?" she spoke softly.

I couldn't take it. Pulling myself out of my hysterical state for the few seconds I could, I stood and bolted past her up the stairs, stumbling from my clouded vision, to my room where I promptly collapsed onto my bed and fell unconscious.

When I became conscious again it was still dark, though I knew chances of sleep would never come to me. My mind was replaying those screams over and over and no matter how hard I squeezed my eyes shut, the images of that little girl remained etched in my eyes.

How could I have done something like that? How could I ever have wanted to become a death eater? How could those men torture innocent young people without the slightest hint of mercy?

But how can I accuse them? How am I any better than them? I stood there and tortured – _tortured - _people who had done nothing to deserve it. I'm no more human than Voldemort anymore.

Questions like those replayed through my mind as I stood up and walked over to my desk. Reaching out, I picked up a small clear packet, opened it and pulled out a bright red capsule. Looking at it I began to cry again.

_What had I become?_

Then I put it in my mouth and swallowed and went to sit against the wall in the corner of my room, letting the affects of the drug wash over me.

Hey everybody second chapter up! Please please review I love getting reviews they make my day so much better :) I've started on the next chapter so it shouldn't be long before it's up as well hope you like it.

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	3. Stranger Bearing Gifts

Stranger Bearing Gifts

I hadn't meant to start on drugs, I really hadn't. But there had been one day just a week into the summer holidays before the start of sixth year when Lord Voldemort himself had arrived in our home, furious with my fathers imprisonment and informed me that I would have the privilege to become a Death Eater in my father's place and, although there is probably people who will disagree, I'm not stupid. I knew at that very second that I was being used to punish my father that Voldemort wanted me to fail. But at the same time I wanted to succeed, to make them proud and to be the Dark Lord's most trusted Death Eater.

Ok, so maybe I am a bit stupid.

It was the first time I had been asked to do something for the Voldemort, precisely two and a half minutes after his arrival I was informed that I would be raping a blood traitor girl.

I was led through to a cell in the dungeons where all of the death eaters were gathered for my initiation test. My heart wouldn't stop pounding and all the colour was draining out of my face as they moved away from where they were all huddled to show me a naked thirteen year old girl bound by her wrists to the dank stone walls. She was leaning forward, the shackles biting scars into her wrists and her once pale skin was littered with bruises and cuts.

As I was shoved roughly towards her form my spot where I had been rooted in repulsion and fear the girl slowly lifted her head and my own eyes wide with fear met with her brown eyes, empty with defeat. One of the Death Eaters flicked their wand and the shackles vanished, causing her to fall in front of me.

"Well?" Voldemort's voice rang out. "What are you waiting for? She is all yours!"

I took one step towards her and flicked my wand so that she was now lying on her back completely exposed. Her hollow, emotionless eyes continued to stare into mine. I was completely unnerved.

_Rape her? I can't rape her! I'm not a rapist!_ Part of my mind was arguing as I slid my trousers and my pants off my legs.

_Yes you can! If you don't they will kill you and your mother!_ The other part was shouting back.

I repeated that last thought in my mind, more to motivate me to move my feet more than anything. I could tell everyone else in the room was becoming increasingly impatient and they kept yelling at me to 'get a move on and do it! Make the girl scream'

I choked back a sob of fear and tried to apologise to her with my eyes, but what difference did an apology make with what I was about to do?

I got down on the ground after stroking myself a few times and slid into her. I tried to go slow, to cause her as little pain as possible; I could tell she was a virgin. But the Death Eaters were having none of it.

So I went harder, thrusting into her and making her scream in pain just as I was being told to, and then they started to enjoy it, snickers filled the room as more whimpers and screams echoed in the damp air, sobs breaking out of her bruised throat as I pounded into her.

When I was done I pulled out, just as she fell unconscious. I hastily pulled my clothes back on with my trembling hands and began to walk out the room. Thankfully I was unstopped because if I had been there was no way I would have been able to hold back the vomit that was rising in my stomach.

As I left the room the hooded figures clapped me on the back and congratulated me, actually _congratulated me_ like I had just done a really good performance or something. Which I suppose to them, I had. And the Dark Lord himself nodded approvingly and said "Well done Draco. You passed."

As soon as the door closed I bolted up to the nearest bathroom, hung my head over the toilet and threw up repeatedly until I was completely empty and my throat was raw and burning. Resting my head against the rim of the seat - which is definitely an unseemly position for a Malfoy to be in – I took in deep gulps of air, muttered a cleaning spell then slipped out of the door and went to the fireplace, threw in the green powder and flooed to the first place I could think of. Knockturn Alley.

I would never tell my father this, but I have never liked Knocturn Alley, the people there were shifty and made me feel uncomfortable and suspicious everywhere I went. So I really don't know why I came here, more to get away from the house and take my mind off what I had just done than anything.

But with every step I took round the cobbled roads random memories of being here with my father flitted through my memory. And remembering my father made me think of Voldemort which in turn made me all the more aware of how I had just _raped_ a girl.

Feeling dirty and repulsed with myself I slipped into a narrow, abandoned alleyway and sank to the ground.

_I'm turning into a monster_ I thought as tears spilled down my cheeks and I wrapped my arms around my knees. I raped someone, which was something I had never thought myself capable of. I know there is the common misconception that Slytherins are all violent, sneaky, death-eater wannabe's who would have no problem killing, torturing or raping people. But we're not all like that and the truth is I have never in my life pressured anyone into having sex with me; mostly because all of the Slytherin sixth years are a bunch of sluts (including the boys) but also because the idea has always disgusted me.

So while I was sitting there wallowing in remorse and self-hate I never noticed the cloaked figure sidling up to me until he tapped me on the shoulder.

I nearly jumped out of my skin and immediately wiped the tears form my face as I looked up into the gleaming dark eyes of a middle aged skinny man I had never met before. I opened my mouth but no words came out.

The man leaned down over me and placed his hands firmly on my shoulders to stop me from getting up and running which he had probably guessed I was going to do and for a crazy second I actually thought to myself _oh my god I'm about to be raped! Does karma usually catch up to you that quickly? _

And instead of shoving him away and attempting an escape I simply thought, _How ironic is my life?_

"What's ironic?" the man leered down at me.

Oops, had I really said that out loud?

"Er… n-nothing" I stammered out.

The man looked at me for a second then put his hand into the pocket of his robes, I must have flinched because he immediately said "It's ok I'm not going to hex you" and pulled out a small clear bag filled with tiny bright red capsules and handed them to me. I reached up and took them out of curiosity squinting as I examined them in the darkness.

"I think you might need them" the man said in a knowing voice.

"What are they?" I asked, puzzled by the random gift.

"They're a muggle invention, they make you feel better"

I hesitated, unsure.

The man spoke again, sensing my uncertainty. "They make you forget the bad things for a while make you feel like nothings wrong"

That's when I knew I'd take them. I wanted to forget what I had just done. I needed to.

"How much?"

The man smiled "For a good looking guy like you, I'll say five galleons"

I dug into my pocket, pulled out the money and handed it over. Then took out one of the capsules.

Shrugging I placed it into my mouth and swallowed it whole.

It only took a few seconds to kick in but suddenly I felt lighter, like I was floating above the ground, and I could feel warmth envelope round me like soft blankets. I stood up and looked around. The dark alley was suddenly bright, lit up in a bright angelic white light and everything I touched sparkled. My mind couldn't focus on anything except the sheer beauty of everything around me.

That was all it took for me to become addicted.

So… is everyone liking it? If you're not please feel free to tell me where you think I'm going wrong cos I really need help with improving my stories : ) I made this one a bit longer and now I have hand cramp… but hey no pain no gain right? Reviews pleaseee!

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	4. Back To Hogwarts

Back to Hogwarts

I woke up from my drugged slumber and sat up, my head aching a little in the same way it usually did after the effect of the drug had worn off. As my bleary eyes began to focus on everything around me a loud crack sounded and one of our house elves Letty appeared in the middle of my room.

"Master tells me to remind you that today is the day for going back to Hogwarts young Master Draco and that you should be down at the entrance in half an hour" the tiny elf squeaked and I nodded, my head feeling a lot heavier than it probably should.

The small elf vanished with another pop and I started to stand ever so slowly so as not to overwhelm my aching muscles. Crap. I had completely lost track of the date and looking around my cluttered room, realised that I had packed absolutely nothing. Swiftly I grabbed my wand from the bedside table and swished it around the room muttering spells and watching as everything I needed zoomed into my empty suitcase, folded and neat. I walked over to my desk and picked up the small packet that the man had given me, there was only a few capsules left now, I frowned, _oh well, someone in Hogsmeade must sell that sort of thing_. I hid them carefully inside a box that I then transfigured to look like a book then locked the suitcase up.

Grabbing my owl cage and suitcase I started to head downstairs, glancing in the mirror as I passed and letting out an undignified yelp. Laying my belonging on the floor I hurried over to the mirror. Great. Just great. I had completely forgotten that I had been wearing my clothes over night and now my robes were covered in creases and my hair was messed up, with strands sticking out at all angles. With a growl of frustration I scrambled around for a comb. After a couple minutes of frantic searching I took out my wand and cast a glamour charm as I had absolutely no idea how to fix my hair and clothes properly. _I'll just fix it properly when I get to Hogwarts_ I thought glancing at my watch and hurrying down the flights of stairs to meet my mother and father.

"Just in time Draco" My father said not really to me but more at me and we set off to platform nine and three quarters.

As the Hogwarts express pulled into the station and the doors swung open to let the crowding wizards and witches on I turned to my parents.

There was a moment of awkward silence before my father spoke.

"Well, I hope you remember to work hard this year and not to disappoint and humiliate us like you did last year. I expect you to beat that mudblood in your classes and I expect to hear that you have beaten Potter at quidditch." His cold, indifferent voice caused some serious stab wounds to my ego and I bowed my head in shame remembering that I had failed to do both of those things last year.

"Yes father" I promised and turned to my mother who merely nodded at me. Then both of them turned and disapparated back home.

_So much for a tearful farewell,_ I thought moodily, and as I began toward the train I caught a glimpse of a mass of ginger in the corner of my eye. I glanced over at the Weasley's who were all hugging and laughing, bidding their mother goodbye and rolling there eyes as she hugged them all again. I felt a pang of something in my chest as I watched them, but forced it away. _You're not jealous of the Weasels idiot, what do they have that you don't?_

_A family that loves each other_, I thought sadly then mentally slapped myself out of my self pity and stepped onto the Hogwarts Express. I wandered through the train searching for an empty carriage and the first one I found I slipped into and sat on one of the seats.

A couple of minutes passed before the door slid open again and Blaise Zabini walked in.

As he turned to shut the door I swiftly looked him up and down. He was wearing an un-tucked white shirt rolled up at the sleeves that made his arms look even more deliciously tanned and as he slid the door shut the muscles rippled, a result of the constant quidditch practice now that he had become a chaser. He was also wearing black jeans that clung in all the right places and his dark hair was messed up but in a stylish kind of way.

He was seriously _hot_.

I had always been attracted to guys as well as girls and no one in Slytherin really minded, because in Slytherin when it comes to sex, anything goes. And it was quite common for the guys, once they had consumed ridiculous amounts of alcohol, to wake up in another boy's bed with absolutely no recollection of how they got there. So as long as I only got with a guy when I was drunk and didn't try to pursue a relationship with any of them, then I was safe.

But I had never seen Blaise in that way at all until now, he had always been my best friend. But now, I just couldn't take my eyes away.

He turned around and grinned at me.

"Hey man how was you holiday?" He asked me.

I snapped out of my daydream "Oh you know, it was…Ok" I faltered.

In truth, the pill I had taken after torturing those people had made me forget about it completely. Now it all came flooding back and I felt the colour drain from my face and that familiar nauseous feeling build up in the pit of my stomach. I turned to look out the window so that Blaise wouldn't see how pale I had gotten all of a sudden but apparently he had already noticed.

"Hey" he said gently, sitting beside me and placing a hand on my shoulder "What happened? Was it… Him?"

I turned to him in shock. How the hell did he know that?

"W-What?" I croaked out.

Blaise shrugged. "Well it makes sense, since your dad had been in prison earlier that he would go to you. And he wouldn't exactly just make you a death eater like that" Blaise snapped his fingers "He would make you do something first" Blaise studied my fearful face then continued. "So what did you have to do?"

I wanted to deny that it had happened like he said but images of two girls: one tortured by my wand, one that I violated, flashed through my head and I buried my face in my hands trying to stop the tears of shame and disgust from spilling from my eyes.

I suddenly felt strong arms wrap around me as I sat curled up barely suppressing sobs as the memories flowed back into my mind. I leaned towards Blaise, drawn to the unfamiliar warmth and affection that no one had ever shown me before and his grip around me tightened protectively.

It was only when footsteps echoed outside the compartment door and the door began to slide open that Blaise quickly sprang away from me and I uncurled myself, but turned towards the window so that the person entering wouldn't see my slightly red-rimmed eyes.

"What do _you_ want?" Blaise's voice spoke coldly to the person who opened the door.

"This is the only compartment that isn't completely full" Potter's voice replied.

"Trust us we don't want to be sharing with a couple of Death Eater wannabe's but it's the only place left so you're gonna have to deal with it" Weasley's snarled.

I had tensed up at the words "Death Eater wannabe's" and tried to get myself to relax even though my mind was screaming at them to leave me alone so that Blaise could be hugging me again.

Potter, Weasley and Granger all filed into the seats opposite me and Blaise and a heavy silence filled the compartment as the three Gryffindors glared at the two of us. I refused to look at anyone, still staring resolutely out the window and stiffening up at the building tension in the room.

I just read over my last chapter and realised I have this complete inability to spell the word "from"…. I'm going to find a way to change O and R round on the keyboard…

Anyway! Replies to reviews!

**.star** - Haha I'm happy that you found it funny and thanks I'm glad you liked the descriptions and I will try and make them longer in future chapters :) xx

**TornIntoPieces** – Is that a good interesting or bad interesting? Lol I know I really make that boy suffer don't I? xx

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Thanks for the reviews guys! Xx


	5. Love Train

Love Train

I've always hated silence, ever since I was little. It always reminded me of the times when I had done something wrong and had to tell my father about it. He would sit there after I had confessed to him about what I had done, whether it was losing to Potter at quidditch again or something that is deemed insignificant by everyone else like accidentally dropping a glass. He would just sit there for about ten minutes in complete silence and forbid me to talk while he thought up a suitable punishment. And in a way the waiting was worse than the punishment, because when I was being hurt I knew what was happening. When it was silent I had no idea what my consequences would be.

So I guess after going through that for most of my sixteen years, it was pretty understandable that I just couldn't take the silence in the compartment. I could feel my heart pounding and my head had gone fuzzy. I wracked my brain for something to say that would provoke and argument or even just get me out of there so I could breathe properly again. But I was saved the trouble as Pansy Parkinson suddenly breezed into our compartment. I swear I'd never been so happy to see her.

"Oh. My. God" She started, not even noticing the Gryffindors and grinning like a madwoman at us. "You will never guess who I shagged last night! Go on guess!" She waited expectantly.

"Viktor Krum?" I guessed, turning to her, pretty sure my eyes would be back to their normal colour by now.

"I knew you wouldn't know, it was Vik- Wait, hang on – How did you know that?" She asked me with accusation in her voice, clearly put out that I had known.

"Oh I don't know" I said sarcastically "I think the fact that all you talked about in your letter was meeting him and him spending the night at yours was a little bit of a give away"

"Oh…right yes" She mumbled.

Suddenly Granger stood up and burst out angrily "You slept with Viktor?" There was also a hint of hurt in her voice.

Pansy looked at her surprised, having not even noticed that the Gryffindors were there.

"Well yeah, that's what I just said wasn't it?" Pansy replied, raising her immaculately shaped eyebrows in a 'Duh!' kind of way.

"But he said he wanted to be with me!" Granger burst into tears and ran out the compartment. Weasley immediately got up and followed her, leaving Harry with us three Slytherins.

Everyone looked at Pansy.

"Well don't look at me like it's my fault! It's these Quidditch players, they have no brains, just think they can get away with everything." She said defensively.

Blaise who had been watching everything silently with a half-amused, half-bored expression, rolled his eyes.

"Nice one Pans, you do realise everyone left in this room plays quidditch?" He asked her, smirking and I snorted in amusement.

Pansy hesitated, realising he had been right, then blushed "Fine then! I try to be nice and not blame Granger for being melodramatic and you all want to turn on me? Well goodbye!" Then she flounced out of the room slamming the door as she went.

As soon as her footsteps disappeared I turned to Blaise

"Time of the month I reckon" I said wisely and this time Potter snorted.

Blaise and I both turned to him and he flushed slightly before muttering something about going to find Ron and Hermione then left quickly. And suddenly I was aware that I was alone in the compartment with Blaise.

_And we'll probably be alone for a while_ I thought _who knows how long it would take Granger to calm down, and Pansy would be going to find her girly gang of friends to gossip about her and Krum._ Images of Blaise and me started flying through my head. Blaise's tongue and Blaise's hands…

I could feel myself blush as heat travelled to my groin and my cock hardened slightly.

"Want a chocolate frog mate?" Blaise asked and I nodded as he quickly stepped outside the compartment door and paid the trolley witch, then came back in and tossed a chocolate frog at me before sitting opposite me and I wondered at the smooth movement of his muscled arms tossing the frog deftly in my direction.

"You alright? You look like you're a million miles away" He told me, taking a bite out of his chocolate frog.

I nodded and quickly ripped open the packet to take my mind off of his body, but as I concentrated on the packet I could feel his gaze at somewhere below my hands and I discreetly glanced down at myself to see that there was a sight bulge in my trousers. I blushed and opened the lid to my chocolate frog pretending that I wasn't getting hard over Blaise.

A sudden sucking sound caught my attention and my head snapped up to see Blaise sucking the melted chocolate off his fingers, his moist pink tongue flicking at his fingertips before he wrapped his full masculine lips around his entire finger moving them up and down all the while keeping his eyes on me.

God I was so hard.

Not even realising that I had done it, I threw myself at him crushing my lips onto his and gasping at the pleasure. I could feel Blaise smiling as he kissed me back with just as much hunger and I could feel his hand sliding up inner thighs as I straddled him and coming to rest, cupping the significant bulge in my trousers. Then using that hand he pushed me over to where I had previously been sitting, the pressure on my straining cock making me moan as waves of heat shot through my body.

Now he was kissing my earlobe and _that hand_ began to move, rubbing over my crotch as he whispered in my ear "Do you like this babe? Do you like my hand on your cock? Do you like it when I _squeeze_?"and at that moment he did exactly that, squeezing on my erect cock and I couldn't help the moan that escaped my lips.

"Ohhhh _harder _Blaise do it again!" and Blaise complied squeezing more forcefully through the material and just as I was thrusting into his hand and moaning instructions "Harder! Faster! _More!"_ The compartment door slid open and Potter stopped stock still, mouth open in shock as he took in the scene before him and where Blaise's hand was still cupped while I continued to thrust into his hand. I wasn't going to stop, it felt too good to even think about stopping.

Blaise looked over his shoulder and smirked at Potter "Want to join in?" He asked and Potter turned a deep shade of red and scurried out the compartment leaving me in Blaise's… _capable_…hands.

Blaise went back to kissing my ear and after an abrupt and unexpected hard squeeze I arched my back with a particularly loud moan and came into my trousers.

_Whoever invented chocolate frogs, I love you._

This chapter had actually just been written with the last one and then I realised that it was really long so I just randomly stopped it and made it a new chapter.

Not that you really needed to know but I like telling people random things lol

Read and review!


	6. Paper Swans

Paper Swans

The Gryffindors never came back to the compartment. I reckon Potter probably warned them to keep away. As the Hogwarts Express slowed to a stop I found myself fighting back a laugh remembering Potter's extreme look of shock and embarrassment and how quickly he had bolted from the compartment, probably running faster than he ever had from Voldemort.

We entered the castle and seated ourselves at our respective tables in the Great Hall while the sorting of the new first years took place. As student after student nervously sat on the stool, had their house declared and scuttled over to said house, my mind began to wander. First of all to what had happened in the train and I could feel the heat rising in my cheeks as well as my lower body and I snuck a glance at the boy sitting on my left.

_He's got such magnificent cheekbones_ I thought dreamily taking in the sharp, high features and then I slowly made my way lower until I reached his skilled masculine hands lying freely on the table and thinking to myself _What a waste of talented hands, just sitting doing nothing when they could be put to such a better use._

And as another shot of heat went straight to my groin I tried desperately to take my mind off of Blaise and his more than capable hands. But this didn't work well in my favour, it turned out, as the events of the summer holidays came crashing into my previously peaceful mind, flashing up images and feelings I wanted to keep locked away forever. I had tried so hard since then to blot it out, to pretend it was a really bad nightmare. But it wasn't and I had to face that.

I could feel myself sinking again into disgust and self-hate and my hands began to tremble. _Come on finish the sorting already!_ I urged them on silently, suddenly craving my drugs. I was longing so badly to get up to the dormitory, to feel that meaningless bliss that took everything away, to wander in my comforting fantasy until I fell unconscious. The sorting dragged on forever; I could almost swear that the kids were multiplying the amount of time it took to sort them all. Then we had to eat, though I couldn't build up any appetite and simply pushed the food around with my fork while everyone else dug in. I wasn't hungry for anything except my escape.

_Eventually_, we were bid goodnight by the headmaster and we all headed to our dormitories.

Most of the Slytherins went to bed immediately simply crashing onto their beds without unpacking, and half of them not even bothering to get changed. However I was wide awake and carefully pulled the transfigured box out my trunk then slipped into bed and pulled the curtains tightly shut after finally removing my glamour charm and getting changed into my pyjamas. I whispered the incantation and the book turned back into the box and I pulled out the clear plastic bag.

Popping one of the capsules into my mouth and swallowing, I looked up to the ceiling and felt my body slowly starting to relax into drugged mode and watched as snow began to fall from the air. _Its not even October yet_ my drugged mind thought wonderingly. As the snow fell closer to me I noticed that it wasn't snow at all, it was millions of tiny paper swans, pure white and relaxing their tiny fragile wings, letting themselves drift peacefully downwards to land on top of my bed. I slid myself across the covers so that I was lying with my head on the pillow and my feet stretched out and allowed the little birds to land on me instead, their tiny forms tickling slightly on my skin and I chuckled out loud, the sound echoing as though I was standing in a tunnel. A small swan floated graciously and landed beside my ear. I leaned closer to it and I could hear it sing; a soft, sensuous tune that travelled to my ear and shutting my eyelids I lost myself in the melodious music now emanating from each small paper swan.

"Draco! Wake up!" As I slowly drifted back into the harsh colours of reality I recognised the voice of Theodore Nott urging me awake.

After a few second I began to focus on my surroundings, noticing that I was still lying atop my covers exactly how I had been when I fell asleep last night. The effects of the drugs had still kept my mind blissfully empty of negative thoughts, though my head was feeling slightly achy and my limbs were extremely stiff.

"What are you shouting about Nott?" I asked him groggily.

"We've got classes in twenty minutes so you might want to hurry up a little!" Nott informed me before placing something on my bedside table and breezing out the door.

_Shit! Why do I never have time to get ready in the mornings?_ I hurried up out of bed and let out a low groan as my muscles complained bitterly and scrambled around for clothes and a comb. Hurriedly, I washed, dressed and ate the piece of toast that Theo had left for me beside my bed, then grabbed my books and wand and walked swiftly to the first class of the day. Potions.

On my way there I thought about my predicament with the drugs, they would run out soon I knew. When I had first started taking them, I only needed one a week to keep myself relatively relaxed, but the more time that passed, the quicker I found myself craving them. And now it was one every couple of days. I had also realised that whereas before I had been able to get up without any muscle pain whatsoever the morning after, recently my limbs were a dead weight and in the mornings felt like I was attached to a pile of bricks, finding it virtually impossible to move for at least a few minutes.

_But it's definitely worth it,_ I told myself and continued to walk through the remaining corridors and into the potions classroom, sliding into my seat beside Pansy and zoning out as I couldn't help but do every day after being high.

I was happily daydreaming about a million miles away when a sharp elbow in my side caused me to start. I turned to my left to see Pansy looking at me like I had grown a second head or something.

"What?" I asked her as I only just noticed that everyone had begun to move around the classroom.

"Where were you? Snape just paired you up with Potter to make the potion" then she rolled her eyes and walked off sitting beside the mudblood Granger with a contemptuous sniff.

_Potion? Damn, I should really start trying to pay attention._ I moved slowly over to the now vacant seat beside Potter, who blushed a bright red though still sent a glare in my direction. I completely ignored the glare and sat vaguely puzzled by the blush until it dawned on me.

_Oh yes… the train episode…_ I remembered.

After a couple seconds of silence Potter cleared his throat.

"I'll go get the ingredients, you prepare the cauldron" he said then rushed over to the store cupboard. My mind was too buzzed to take in what he said though and I just sat there, my mind in complete blankness and the emptiness somehow managed to drown out the babbling of the other people in the room. Suddenly I was back on my bed watching miniscule paper swans drift down onto my body and start singing to me. The pure white of them made them appear as though they were glowing and I closed my eyes and listened closely, the singing was getting louder, louder, until I could almost make out the words. I squeezed my eyes shut and strained my ears listening to the voices, trying to catch the words until –

"Malfoy? Malfoy!" an annoyed yet slightly puzzled voice broke into my swan filled daze and all the beautiful little birds vanished. I opened my eyes to see that I was suddenly back in a familiar dark and dank room where Potter sat beside me watching me closely.

"What's your problem Potter?" I hissed feeling unnecessary anger begin to build up in my chest.

"How about the fact that I asked you to set up the cauldron and you didn't and you were just sitting there with your eyes shut, completely out of it while we have a potion to do. And I am not wanting to get another detention because of you" Potter ranted at me.

If I hadn't been completely buzzed I might have taken more of that in but instead I just asked in genuine confusion "Cauldron?"

_What is he on about a cauldron for? Why is he even sitting beside me? What's going on?_

"Yes Malfoy" He replied slowly as though speaking to a child "We are in _Potions_ therefore we are making a _po-tion_ using a _caul-dron_. Ring any bells?" He raised his eyebrows and looked at me expectantly.

_Why is he talking to me like I'm a child? Who the hell does he think he is?_ Though I realised he was right when I looked dazedly around the room at the other pairs adding ingredients to their own cauldrons and stirring. But still, how dare he talk to me like that!

Potter was still watching me expectantly and for a second I lost myself in his emerald eyes. _I wonder how much you'd get if you sold those? Emeralds are worth a lot aren't they? Wait hang on Draco, these are Potter's eyes not proper emeralds, what the hell are you on?_

_Oh wait I'm on drugs, duh._ I chuckled at the joke not realising I was still staring at Potter's eyes until he spoke abruptly.

"Oh my god Malfoy, your _eyes_" He burst out with a horrified look on his face and suddenly I was angry again. _How dare he say such a mean thing about my eyes! I had just been thinking nice thoughts about his. Bastard._ I was reaching my low a lot quicker than I ever had before.

"What's wrong with my eyes exactly?" I burst out angrily.

Potter was looking at me strangely but with a hint of horror still on his face.

"Malfoy, you're pupils are freaking dilated! What have you been taking?"

Anger consumed me. _It's none of his business what I do! What gives him the right to ask about my personal choices with such disgust?_

And with that in mind, I stormed out the classroom, not caring that I had just walked out of _Professor Snape's_ potions class. I stormed into the dormitory and slammed the door shut behind me before picking up everything I could reach and threw them as hard as I could across the room. A lamp, a photo frame, pots of ink, until the room was completely trashed and I collapsed against the wall sliding down it to the floor, my anger dissipating until all I felt was extreme exhaustion and passed out.

Replies to reviews:

**randy13** – Thanks I'm glad you liked it! To be honest I'm not very sure yet, I think I'm going to make it just Harry/Draco so I'm going to try and think of something to do with Blaise. Not sure what though so if you have any genius ideas please feel free to share :) xx

**TornIntoPieces** – Haha thanks I had fun writing that one I thought I'd make the train journey more interesting lol thanks for the review! xx

And that's it :( only two reviews. Please review guys! Reviews inspire me to write, there's a lovely little button right under here that you can click :) Thanks! Next chapter should hopefully be coming up pretty soon.


	7. Earthquake

Earthquake

There was an earthquake. That was my first thought when I came back around. Everything was shaking and the room was spinning. I could hear something in the distance, it sounded like a voice calling my name. Yes that was my name they were shouting, maybe I had got stuck when the school came crashing down. And yet I don't remember an earthquake. Everything was silent for a few seconds but the shaking continued. I closed my eyes and listened closely for the voice, they can't have just left me here! I might die! Oh no wait, there it was again!

"…draco….draco… DRACO!"

I opened my eyes with a startled yelp at the volume of the voice and slowly the room and the shaking stopped so that I could focus on my surroundings. I suddenly noticed a person sitting in front of me. It was Blaise. And behind stood Nott, Crabbe, Goyle and Harper, all of whom were glaring at me, looking extremely pissed off.

"Fucking hell Draco! What is wrong with you? Why did you trash all our stuff?"

_What is he talking about? _I gazed around the room, taking in the mess. God, this room was in a state. Maybe there _had_ been an earthquake after all, I thought, but then it all flooded back to me. Drugs, Potions, Potter. Then I came here and trashed the room. _Ah_, I realised, _so that's why they all want to kill me_.

I looked up at Blaise's face and saw anger, and immediately I felt terrible for making him angry at me. He looked back down at me and his face changed as he studied my eyes, adopting the same look Potter had in Potions.

He turned to the others.

"Guys could you go, we'll clean this up" he spoke over his shoulder.

The others glared at me before leaving and Blaise turned back to me. I figured he was really mad at me for breaking everyone's belongings so I looked up to him pleadingly feeling scared that he wouldn't want me anymore.

"I'll clean it all up, I swear I will" I told him in a small, nervous voice.

Blaise studied my eyes for another few seconds then sighed and sat down beside me against the wall.

"How long have you been taking drugs Draco?" He asked in a voice that held no anger but was filled with disappointment, which in my opinion was a lot worse.

I hesitated, "I started a week into the summer holidays" I mumbled.

"Why?" he asked it with a voice that held a genuine desperation to understand. I couldn't tell him. He was already disappointed in me, if I told him what I had done for the Dark Lord he would be completely disgusted and would never want to touch my repulsive body again.

He seemed to understand that I couldn't tell him because he didn't press the question further but instead turned to me and said "Draco this needs to stop, your damaging yourself. Look at you!" He indicated to my body and I suddenly felt disgusted at myself again. He's right I thought sadly, I'm hideous and now violent too. He's never going to want me near him again. My father was right; no one would ever want me, he had always said I never looked good enough, there was always something wrong with my appearance. Tears were starting to well up in my eyes. This was by far the worst low I'd ever had.

"Hey, don't cry" Blaise wiped an escaped tear away gently with his thumb and then pulled me against his chest, hugging me fiercely.

"Draco, drugs can kill you, you need to stop taking them" he told me firmly. He looked me up and down then spoke again.

"You could also do with a decent meal" he said frowning "When was the last time you actually ate something substantial?"

I shrugged, genuinely not remembering. I never had a good enough appetite to eat anything nowadays.

"Draco this needs to end" Blaise informed me and I was so close to crying my heart out, but I bit back the sob threatening to escape. He didn't want me anymore, not my friendship or my body. I would never be loved. I was so hung up on the fact that he must be talking about wanting me out of his life that I didn't realise he was actually talking about the drugs.

Blaise sighed once again then stood up and pulled out his wand muttering "reparo" repeatedly at the objects I had smashed and then "scourgify" to clean up the ink. From my curled up position at the wall I watched Blaise with his back to me, a preview of days to come, and had to fight harder to stop the tears.

Over the next two weeks everything just got worse. My mood swings had become unbearable for everyone else as well as me. I chopped and changed from being extremely quiet and depressed (before taking the drugs), to relaxed in an almost dead kind of way (Just having swallowed a capsule), to exhilarated on the verge of psychotic (the peak of my high) and then my slow - or sometimes very quick depending on where I was – descent into my low, which I would then flick from being outright furious to sobbing uncontrollably to once again completely withdrawn. And then the whole cycle would start all over again.

And yeah I was becoming a mess. I had become a lot thinner and dark shadows were now permanently imprinted under my eyes. My eyes were a constant pool of black with hardly any grey visible at all now and my once smooth and shiny hair was messy and lank.

_God._ I thought, studying my reflection with disgust, _No wonder no one wants me anymore._

And to top it all off I had taken my last red pill last night and Hogsmeade wasn't until Sunday. And today was only Monday.

I had been avoiding Blaise like the plague for the past two weeks. Every time he asked to talk to me I told him I was busy doing homework or whatever and I always made sure I was with a bunch of other people so he couldn't say anything. I was still paired with Potter in potions, although he never mentioned me being on anything again but did often cast anxious glances at me, which I ignored.

On Tuesday I could feel the effects of the drugs wearing off and by Wednesday I once again had no appetite, a killer migraine and some serious mood swings. On Thursday the trembling, sweating and nightmares had started and I found myself in Potions, sitting beside Potter and fighting a mental breakdown that I could feel edging its way into my system as well as attempting to ignore the constant migraine and dizziness. I had already cut my finger twice (luckily not too badly) because my hands were shaking too much to cut the Girdyroot and the knife had slipped. I thought Potter hadn't noticed but when my hand slipped a third time, this time fortunately missing my finger, Potter grabbed the knife and the Girdyroot from my hand.

"Give it here before you cut your finger off" he said and although I wanted to sneer at him and tell him I could manage perfectly well thank you, I just couldn't find the energy. Potter had obviously expected a cutting response from me as well (pun not intended) because he glanced at me with confusion and – _was that concern? Nah, couldn't be_ - before turning back to properly slicing the roots

Now I didn't know what to do with the potion, I didn't even know which potion we were making and suddenly I felt completely useless and tears sprang to my eyes. _For god's sake Draco, get a bloody grip. Why the hell does withdrawal exist? Why? _

Potter turned to me again, obviously about to comment on my complete unhelpfulness but stopped short at the look on my face.

His expression softened slightly and he hesitated before speaking again, seeming to be slightly wary of what he was about to say.

"Look Malfoy, I can tell you're going through some personal…thing right now" Harry said quietly so that no one else would hear. "But I'm not stupid; turning to drugs was a really dangerous thing to do"

I opened my mouth to deny being on drugs but Potter got in there first.

"You should talk to someone about it. Someone that can help" he advised before continuing to slice roots and add ingredients as though he had never spoken.

I only just managed to get through the rest of that day and Friday. The whole time I was so close to cracking up. The drop from the open window on the fourth floor began to look extremely inviting and there were times when all I could do was rush into an empty classroom, curl up on the ground in a foetal position and sob and scream clutching my head while my migraine seemed to be swelling up and destroying each of my brain cells slowly and painfully, one by one.

I couldn't sleep at all, the only thing I could do was toss and turn and when I closed my eyes, even for a second, clips of screaming victims – people I had tortured – sprang up in my eyes.

I couldn't move all of Saturday. I lay on my bed, the covers twisted and half on the floor from all my tossing and turning and I was too weak to move an inch.

I had no idea what time of day it was, though at one point Theo came in with a plate of food - so I reckoned it was just after lunch - and offered it to me. I took once glance at the large plateful of food and one sniff and stumbled to the bathroom, locking the door and throwing up into the toilet before lying back on the cold, tiled floor and trying to slow my shallow, erratic breathing.

I heard the door unlock with a click and tried to shout at the person to get out, but all that left my mouth was a weak whimper, definitely not enough to stop Blaise from rushing in.

"Draco! Are you alright?" he asked pulling out his wand and muttering a cleaning spell so that all the vomit vanished.

I nodded, the movement causing my head to spin again and I closed my eyes trying to slow everything down.

"You know what, forget I even asked that, you're clearly not alright" He said while studying me.

"Maybe we should take you to the hospital wing" he suggested and my eyes widened in horror. _No he can't take me there! They'd inform my parents and I would be disowned! After some severe punishment for disgracing the family name again_, because I knew that the media would not miss this. I could see the headlines now 'From Death Eater to Drug Addict'._ I mean, who wouldn't pass up a chance to throw the Malfoy name into the dirt?_

"I'll feel better tomorrow when I get some fresh air" I croaked and Blaise studied me again for what seemed like a life time before finally nodding.

"If you're not better tomorrow I'm going to force you into the hospital wing" he told me with finality and I knew that trying to persuade him otherwise would be a lost cause. I sighed in defeat and crawled across the floor back to my bed.

**Hi everyone! Hope you're enjoying this story. As always please take the time to leave a review no matter how short it is I love hearing your comments.**

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** – **Thanks! I think it might just be the crazy way my mind works that lets me write this story haha but thank you so much, you're review was really uplifting I'm glad that you like it xx

**BoxOfTrinkets **– I'm really happy that you like my story and I will try not to be discouraged I'm going to finish it no matter what. That review made me feel better : ) Thank you! xx

**TornIntoPieces **– Yup Harry will be definitely be doing some investigating! Hope you liked this chapter as well. Thanks again for your review xx

**Thanks again guys!**


	8. Overdose

**Overdose**

Sunday! Eventually, it had come. Out of sheer will power alone I had managed to get up and get dressed in the morning, though I did have to decline breakfast, the smell alone had my stomach doing somersaults.

The journey to Hogsmeade consisted of an awful lot of inane chatter from Blaise and Pansy and a lot of fidgeting and zoning out on my part. But _finally_ we got there and after about half an hour I managed to separate myself from them claiming I had forgotten to buy something in another store and began my search for the man I was looking for.

I walked up and down the streets at least four times, desperation and panic settling in the pit of my stomach.

_Crap!_ I thought. _What the hell am I going to do if he's not here?_ I just presumed that he would be. What a stupid thing to do. _I guess it's the fourth floor window for me after all_, I thought sadly and turned around to walk back up the street.

No wait! There he was! Across the street was the skinny, cloaked guy that had given me those pills those many weeks ago. Just as I took one step towards him he turned around and recognising me, he smiled. Something about it was creepy, almost predatory but I didn't care, the desperation was too much for me to notice anything else.

I hurried over the cobbled streets towards the entrance of a dark alley where he stood. He pulled a small bag out of his cloak and smiled wider when my eyes lit up. Suddenly I felt like I was in a movie, that bit where the man and the woman have just realised their love for each other and they run in slow motion into each other's arms. Seriously, that's how it felt, running towards those small red pills that gave me such a blissful release.

"I had a feeling I'd be seeing you again" the man said and I shoved a few galleons into his hand at the same time as yanking the small bag into my own. I could feel the smile spread across my face as I held that bag and even though I knew it was ridiculous, I felt so much affection for those red capsules. If anyone asked me right now whether I loved my mother or these pills more: I would choose the latter, no competition.

And with my new found energy, I ran back down the streets of Hogsmeade in search of Blaise and Pansy so we could return as quickly as possible to the castle.

**An hour later:**

I slumped onto a seat in the library, quickly glancing round to check for any onlookers. No one, thankfully it was deserted. I slipped the bag out of my pocket and dug my hand in, pulling out three of the pills; it had been too long that I had gone without them. I was tempted to tip the entire bag into my mouth at once but I reminded myself that I needed them to last, but three wouldn't hurt right?

I tipped them back into my open mouth and swallowed hard, feeling them roll down my throat and immediately I felt the weight of thirty bricks being lifted from my body. Sighing contentedly, I leaned back on my chair, waiting for the magical world of my drugged mind to engulf me in a blanket of relief and complete peace. But something was wrong; I noticed after a few seconds, there was no paper swans, no glittering lights, nothing. Instead I could feel something in the centre of my chest swelling up and constricting, like a huge hand grabbing onto my lungs and squeezing, gradually cutting off my oxygen supply, my limbs were turning cold and I could hardly move, hardly breathe. I gasped for air as I tried to stand up but the hand only squeezed tighter.

_Shout for help!_ My mind screamed at me, but the only noise I could make was a rasping cough that sent me reeling forward onto the table in front of me. Choking and scrabbling I fell to the floor hardly noticing the pills that had still been in my hand, scattering over the ground. My body shook as I got to my knees and I reached out for the door handle, but the door was getting further and further away and I could no longer breathe at all. The only sound I could hear was my heart, hammering like a thousand drums against my constricted chest. My limbs felt like they were shattering under the weight of my body as I struggled to move and a fire was beginning to rage inside my mind. If I could have screamed I would.

I collapsed to the ground onto my back and as everything started to drift into darkness the last thing I saw was two shining emerald orbs and my body surrendered to the dark.

**Harry's POV**

"Hermione, what happens to the potion when you add knotgrass to it?"

"For heaven's sake Ron! Find out for yourself! I am _not_ doing your homework for you this year"

"But Hermione-"

"NO!"

This had been going on for the past half hour and I had had enough of it, I really needed to find somewhere quiet to get some peace of mind.

"Guys I have a detention to go to so I'm gonna go now" I made up quickly.

Both of them turned to me, surprised.

"Really?" Hermione asked "Who with?"

"Snape, I forgot to mention it, I er… got tripped by Malfoy in the corridor and pulled out my wand and he gave me a detention" _Please let them have bought that crap_.

"That's so unfair! Why does he always side with the Slytherins, the git" Ron protested.

"I know, he is a prat but I can't really do anything about it so I guess I'll just see you guys later" I spoke hurriedly and exited through the portrait hole before they could reply.

As the portrait of the fat lady swung closed behind me I breathed a sigh of relief. _Peace at last!_ I thought and began to wander down the Gryffindor Tower corridor and down a couple flights of stairs.

I ended up walking towards the library, figuring that since most people had just come back from Hogsmeade and Hermione was in the Common Room then no one would be there.

Turns out I was wrong.

I stepped into the bookcase lined room and my eyes honed straight onto a figure with platinum blonde hair.

It was Draco Malfoy.

He was on all fours on the ground, his body shuddering, wracked with silent coughs and rasps. His pupils were so dilated there was no silver remaining.

As I stood in shock, I saw his limbs give way and he collapsed to the ground.

_Shit!_ I hurried over to him skidding to my knees beside the still trembling body and looked straight into his eyes in a panic, not knowing what to do or say. He gazed back up at me through two pools of black and time seemed to stand still, before he gave one last shudder and he fell back, his eyes closed, his face drained of colour.

"No! Malfoy wake up! Don't you dare die! Oh my god what the hell do I do?" I looked round the room frantically, only just noticing now that there was small red pills scattered around Malfoy's prone body, and a sudden horror set in as I realised what had happened. Malfoy had overdosed.

Quickly sliding my arms beneath the blonde's legs and shoulders I lifted him up and began to sprint down the corridors to the hospital wing. All the while, begging out loud to Merlin to spare Draco's life.

I crashed through the doors to the hospital wing, causing Madame Pomfrey to jump almost a foot in the air, she opened her mouth to tell him off for his aggressive entrance but immediately shut her mouth again when she noticed the unconscious body in Harry's arms.

"Please Madame Pomfrey he needs help! You've got to save him!"

Madame Pomfrey, being the professional nurse that she was, didn't ask any questions as to why Harry Potter was desperate to have _Draco Malfoy_ of all people saved and began to grab numerous potions from shelves at the same time as whisking her wand over Draco, casting several spells to reveal the extent of the damage.

As she performed one of these spells she hesitated, a look of confusion taking over her determined features.

"What? What is it? What's wrong?" I asked in panic, seeing the school's nurse look confused could not be a good sign.

Pomfrey turned to Harry, "Mr. Potter do you know what happened to him?"

For a second Harry was torn. Did that mean she knew what had happened to him and was insinuating that he, Harry, had something to do with it? Or did she actually not know? Which would mean she couldn't treat him.

_Malfoy's life is more important right now, _I decided.

"Yes, I know what happened, he overdosed on muggle drugs" I informed her, feeling like a traitor.

Madame Pomfrey's eyes widened in shock.

"Overdosed?" She repeated, horror filling her face. "Mr Potter you must run and tell Professor Dumbledore everything you know and if you know where any of these drugs are, I need them here as soon as possible. Mr Malfoy must be taken to St Mungo's immediately, I do not know how to treat this."

She paused for a second, before realising that I hadn't moved in my shock.

She turned to me and yelled "GO!"

And with that I sprinted to find Dumbledore, stopping quickly at the library to gather up the red pills that had spilled across the floor.

I reached the stone gargoyle outside Dumbledore's office and swore through my panting. I didn't have a clue what the password was.

"Lemon drops? Er… Chocolate frogs! Pumpkin Pasties! For fuck's sake just OPEN!" I kicked the wall beside the gargoyle before trying at least another ten sweets.

I was near tears with despair and frustration after another two minutes of guessing. Malfoy was dying! Why couldn't the bloody thing just open for me?

"…. Liqourice Wands! Liqourice wands? Thank God for that!" I yelled in relief and frustration as I charged up the steps three at a time and slammed into the Headmaster's office.

"Professor!" I gasped as Dumbledore turned to face me with slightly surprised eyes.

"Yes Harry? What can I do for you on this surprise visit?" he asked calmly.

"Professor…it's Malfoy" I gasped out "He's dying… Drugs overdose… Madame Pomfrey says… take him to St Mungos! Here."

I passed a handful of the little red pills to Dumbledore then put my hands on my knees to support myself and catch my breath as Dumbledore began to string all the words together and then all of a sudden glided to the door in an incredible speed.

"Follow me Harry, we have a Malfoy to save!"

**I'm really sorry this took so long I had actually typed it up and everything but then I accidentally deleted it thinking it was something else and then I just honestly couldn't be bothered typing it all up again. So I'm really sorry but here you go finally!**


	9. St Mungos

**St Mungos**

For an old man, Dumbledore sure could move at an incredible speed, I found myself having to jog to keep up with his long strides.

We reached the hospital wing in about a minute. Dumbledore strode through the doors only glancing at Malfoy in concern before speaking hurriedly to Madame Pomfrey.

"Poppy, take this" Dumbledore spoke calmly and handed the witch a plain black hair brush, "and these" he handed over the drugs harry had given him "and take him straight to St Mungos, I will notify his family of the situation and ask his closest friends if they knew anything about what happened as well as Harry here. Go."

The nurse nodded, grabbing the objects from Dumbledore's hand and taking a firm hold of Malfoy's limp arm before muttering a spell and disappearing.

_Oh, the hair brush was a portkey._

There was a second of silence. I felt there were so many questions I had to ask but none were springing to mind. I just stared at the empty space on the bed where the unconscious, dying blonde had been a moment earlier and tried to squash down the ball of worry that was swelling in my chest. Since when did I start worrying about Malfoy anyway?

"Harry?" Dumbledore's gentle voice interrupted his thoughts, "If you know anything about why Mr Malfoy overdosed or any information at all, it is important to let me know."

"I" I began. What do I tell him? I didn't know why he overdosed. I didn't even know why he had started on drugs to begin with. I hadn't asked him anything when I had the chance, I hadn't a clue how to deal with something like that so I had just kept out of it.

"I don't really know anything sir"

"Do you have any idea at all as to when Mr Malfoy may have started taking drugs? It might help us discover why he started in the first place"

"Um…" I thought back, when was it that I had first known? It was that day in Potions, when was that again? I racked my brain, trying to remember the date. Oh wait, it was the first day of classes! How stupid to forget that.

"It was the very first day of classes sir"

Dumbledore raised his eyebrows thoughtfully "Then one must assume whatever it was that made him start happened in the summer holidays" he pondered to himself.

Dumbledore sighed sadly, "Very well Harry, I wonder if you would be so kind as to do me a favour?"

"Um yeah sure" I replied.

"Blaise Zabini is a close friend of Mr Malfoy's I think. He has quidditch training right now and it should be ending in a couple minutes, could you please fetch him for me and bring him up here?"

I nodded and exited the Hospital Wing. Somehow I didn't think _friend_ quite covered Zabini's and Malfoy's relationship. On the way down I pondered over Dumbledore's revelation. It must have happened in the summer holiday's, Dumbledore had decided. _What did happen?_

I took the stairs two at a time going down and jogged over to the quidditch pitch where I noticed the Slytherin team just heading in to their changing room. I didn't particularly want to walk up to the entire team as they'd probably curse me into oblivion before I even found Zabini. So I slid into the corner of pitch just behind the wall of the changing room and peered at the faces.

Fortunately, luck seemed to be on my side as I noticed Zabini a good few metres behind the rest carrying the trunk of quidditch balls. Once the rest of the team had sauntered into the showers I stepped out from my hiding place and walked up to the dark-haired boy who watched me suspiciously.

"What are you doing here Potter?" He asked and Harry noticed that his muscles were tensed, ready to jump into action if a fight was going to start.

"Relax Zabini" I replied "Dumbledore wants to talk to you, he asked me to come fetch you"

Zabini snorted and carried on walking towards the changing room "What would Dumbledore have to talk to me about?"

"He'll explain it there, you have to go now" I told him.

"Whatever it is can wait till I'm clean." And he continued to walk straight past me.

"No it can't" I said firmly "It's about Malfoy"

That made him stop. He turned around, a very un-Slytherin look of worry on his face. "What about him? Is he ok?"

"I don't know, you need to come with me _now_!" I had begun to get very impatient with the Slytherin but was relieved when the boy finally dropped the quidditch trunk and began to make quick strides towards the castle. I found myself having to jog again to keep up with him.

All the way to the Hospital Wing Zabini didn't let up on the questions.

"What's happened to him? Why's he in the Hospital Wing? What have I got to do with it? Why are _you_ there?"

Harry didn't answer any of the questions, as he wasn't sure how much Zabini knew.

They reached the infirmary in two minutes and Zabini crashed through the doors, looking around frantically for Malfoy and when he realised he was not here he narrowed his eyes at Dumbledore who had waited patiently in the middle of the room.

"What's going on? Potter said that this was about Draco, so where is he?"

"Mr Zabini please sit down, and I will explain everything"

"Why is Potter-"

"Mr Zabini, sit down"

He sat down on the edge of the bed, a look of irritation flitting over his face.

"Mr Zabini, do you know if Mr Malfoy had any problems? If there was something he shouldn't have been doing? Something he had bought from someone perhaps?"

Zabini instantly looked uncomfortable but chose to deny it. "No of course he wasn't, there was nothing wrong with him"

"Well that is unfortunate, it would have helped us greatly" Dumbledore said sadly.

"What do you mean? Helped you with what?"

"Well, Mr Potter here found Mr Malfoy unconscious and in a very bad way on the floor of the library, he has been transported to St Mungos to be treated. Any information would be of a great help to us and him"

I had to give credit to Dumbledore, he really knew how to milk situations for all they were worth.

There was a look of horror on Zabini's face and the colour had drained out of it. He swallowed nervously before speaking again in a slightly croakier voice.

"Please sir before I tell you anything, is he going to be ok?"

I had to admit I was shocked, I had never seen a Slytherin show that much worry for anything, even a fellow Slytherin. I hadn't even thought they knew what worry was and yet here was Blaise Zabini fear written over his face over the welfare of Draco Malfoy.

Dumbledore sighed before replying "I don't know, Mr Zabini, I don't know. But it would help to know the situation, do you know why Draco started on drugs?"

Zabini swallowed "Yes. I – I do. In the summer, the Dark Lord came to his house with a bunch of mud- I mean muggle borns and blood-traitors, it was Draco's job to punish them" Zabini's voice shook as he recounted the story.

"Punish them how?" I couldn't stop myself from asking.

"I don't know exactly, he didn't like talking about it. I'm guessing he had to crucio them, that was standard punishment, he probably had to do more than that though, to prove himself _worthy_ now that his father's in Azkaban" He couldn't meet anyone's eyes.

"He doesn't want to do it you know" Zabini continued, finally looking up into mine and Dumbledore's eyes. "He doesn't want to follow the Dark Lord, he might have done before but not anymore, but he still has no choice. It's expected of him."

There was a second of silence and I tried to process that. Malfoy not want to be a death eater? I just couldn't imagine it.

"Do you know when exactly he started?" Dumbledore questioned him.

"He told me he started a week into the summer holidays"

"How had he been behaving recently? The teachers said he wasn't paying attention at all in class" Dumbledore said "Harry I believe you partnered him in Potions what was he like?"

I thought back to the days when I sat beside him. "He changed a lot of the time really, one minute he was glaring at me and arguing like always and the next he was completely out of it, he couldn't do anything and his hands were shaking and he looked really ill and he was upset and then he got really angry for no reason at all"

"Mr Zabini what was he like in the Slytherin Common Room?"

"He was terrible, the mood swings were so sudden and intense. One minute he was completely withdrawn and not saying a word to anyone, I don't think he even knew where he was, then the next minute he was ridiculously high, almost manic, he as everywhere at once then suddenly he was furious with everyone and smashing things and lashing out at people. Then I'd walk into the dormitory and find him curled up in a corner crying hysterically and clinging on to me. And then he was practically dead, he wouldn't move or talk or eat, barely even blink. It was like he was in a coma, that was the most worrying time of all."

I looked at Zabini's face, his expression was torn from having to tell all of this, from having to betray his friend's confidence and tell the two people that Draco hated most what he had been through.

I hadn't realised that being under the influence of drugs was as intense as the way Zabini had described it. Out of the Slytherin Common Room no one had suspected anything except from me. How had that happened?

"I only have one more question for both of you" The headmaster said and looked at the both me and Zabini. "Why did neither of you tell me or any other teacher?"

I glanced at Zabini and caught his eye for a second before we both looked away at anywhere but each other or Dumbledore, the same expressions of guilt on our faces. Why hadn't I told someone? I didn't have a good answer for that one.

I opened my mouth but no words came to me to justify my lack of responsibility. It appeared that the same went for Zabini, who had his head hung in shame.

The headmaster sighed in disappointment but let the question go "Mr Zabini, thank you for telling us all of this. I must now go to St Mungos to check on young Mr Malfoy." Dumbledore told them solemnly.

"Wait!" Zabini said loudly, standing up. "Please sir, I answered your questions but you haven't answered my question. Why is he in St Mungos?"

Dumbledore looked at him sadly and said "Overdose."

Then the old wizard vanished into thin air leaving a very uncomfortable silence in the hospital wing.

I stood awkwardly for a second, wondering whether I should say something to the dark-haired Slytherin who was standing frozen to the spot, his face drained of colour and still staring at the spot where Dumbledore had disappeared.

"Overdose" he repeated in a horrified whisper.

"Zabini, I'm sorry-" I began but the other boy suddenly cut in, brought out of his trance and suddenly filled with anger.

"_Sorry?_ What difference does _sorry_ make? He could be DEAD and you're _sorry?_ Why didn't you do something to help him?" Zabini shouted, grabbing his robes and shoving him against the wall.

Suddenly I was filled up with anger too "_Me?_ What about _you?_ I'm nothing to do with him, he doesn't like me, he wouldn't have listened to _anything_ I would have said! Why didn't _you_ help him if he means so much to you? Or did he actually not mean anything, maybe he was just fun to string along, it was obvious that he liked you, was he just an easy fuck to you Zabini?

I didn't know what made me say it, I knew I had gone too far. The second the words left my mouth I regretted it. The look on his face when Dumbledore had said the word "overdose" had been enough to show that Zabini cared for him greatly. I knew the only reason Zabini had yelled at me was because he was upset and needed something to let it out on. I opened my mouth, about to apologise to Zabini who had stepped back with a look of shock and hurt on his face, but I only got as far as "I'm" before the Slytherin punched me as hard as he could in the face and stalked out of the room.

I could feel the blood gushing from my nose as I stepped away from the wall. I felt like I should hate Zabini for punching me, but I couldn't. I had deserved that for what I had said to him.

**Draco's POV**

I woke up with a head that felt it had been used as a voodoo doll, with a million pins stuck in it, a throat that felt like someone had coated a garden rake with acid and had been dragging it up and down and an overall feeling of weariness and pain. All my joints ached so much that I couldn't move them at all. I tried to look around but there was something wrong with my eyes; everything was just black fuzzy shapes moving around, I tried to blink a few times to clear it but nothing happened and I could feel something attached to my mouth and things stuck into my arms.

I tried once again to move and began to panic when I found I couldn't. Where was I? Shit maybe the Death Eaters had got me! I began to hyperventilate as various horrific scenarios passed through my mind. How did I get here? Why couldn't I remember anything? The last thing I remembered was going to Hogsmeade. What had happened after that?

My breathing was still erratic and my heart was drumming so loudly I was sure everyone else would be able to hear it. If there was an everyone else. I still couldn't make out the shapes that were moving around me. The only thing I could tell was that I was on a bed but this only comforted me a little, if it was the death eaters surely they wouldn't have given me a bed? Unless… I was going to be raped. Or raping someone. At this I began to panic and struggle desperately again. _No please no I don't want to do that again! Please!_

I could feel a sudden pressure on the corner of my bed, and I could tell someone had just sat down there.

"Please!" I rasped though speaking made my raw throat burn "Please don't make me do it again! I'm begging you I'll do anything else just not that!"

"Draco please calm down, you are in St Mungos, there is no reason to panic" the reassuring voice of Albus Dumbledore made me stop struggling and begging and my breathing began to slow to an almost normal pace.

"Why am I here? What's going on? I don't remember anything!"

"Draco, everything will be explained to you as well as your parents when they arrive, for now please relax"

This knowledge did not help me relax. At all. In fact it did the complete opposite. Because if my parents were coming and I was in St Mungos then something really bad must have happened and my father would not be pleased with me at all. He hates any scenes that would put any shame on the Malfoy name and he also hates me looking weak. And lying in a hospital bed, nearly blind is definitely weak.

"Sir I can't see anything" I hated the way my voice shook and the way it sounded behind whatever was over my mouth.

"I know Draco, there were some bad side effects from your overdose but with a little bit of time it should wear away and you'll be back to normal. The doctors will be here soon to give you a full medical analysis. Oh and over your mouth is an oxygen mask, it helps you breathe so don't take it off, there is also lots of wires and tubes attached to your arms to keep you stabilised and replenish your blood so don't try and rip any of them off."

_Overdose…? Oh crap!_ Everything came flooding back, going to Hogsmeade, getting the pills, taking three of them at once… and now my parents knew. _Father is going to kill me._

"Ah Draco your parents are here now"

_Shit._

**I am really, really sorry for taking so long to write nowadays, life is getting a tad chaotic and I'm not at home so much now so the chapters are going to be quite slow. I wrote this all at once cos I felt really bad about not updating and I did promise to finish my story.**

**I really hope you like it and once again feel free to review, good or bad I don't mind, and thank you to those of you who reviewed my last chapter those reviews made me very happy! :) xxxx**


	10. Tricky Questions

**Tricky Questions**

Every sound in the room stopped. Every sound except the repeated thud of my father's cane impacting against the polished floor. Louder and louder it got as he approached my bed, and with every thump my heart rate increased.

_Crap, how is it that I always manage to fail him? He's going to be so angry with me. This was definitely not the proper behaviour of a Malfoy_.

As Dumbledore stood up to greet my parents, the pressure from the end of my bed vanished and suddenly I felt as though I was unprotected. I tried to look in the direction that the voices were coming from and could just make out the dark, fuzzy outline of my mother and father.

"It is such a terrible reason that you had to come here today, have the St Mungos staff explained yet why it is that young Draco is here?" Dumbledore asked them.

"No they have not, we were told that you would explain the situation to us" I heard Lucius reply in a silky voice.

_Please Dumbledore, lie for me, don't tell them why I'm here! _I knew what would happen if my parents knew the truth and I wanted to avoid it. But even as I begged in my head to the headmaster I knew that he had a duty to inform parents if their child was sent to St Mungos and that he had to tell them the truth.

I wasn't wrong.

"Well sadly, Draco here has overdosed on a muggle drug called Tylox or, to use its specific name, Oxycodone. Fortunately though he was found very quickly and was brought to the hospital, the Healers have informed me that his treatment has proven successful… physically anyway", with this everyone turned to me. I could make out the movement of everyone's heads swivelling round, but more than that I could feel the intensity of my father's stare and for the first time since I woke up, I was glad that I couldn't see properly.

"What do you mean by "physically anyway"? Are you saying there's still something wrong with him?" Lucius asked in a cold voice. I hated this discussion, they were talking like I wasn't here, though in a way I was glad. I was dreading when they'd start asking me questions.

"People, especially wizards, don't usually start taking drugs if they are content with their lives" Dumbledore informed them in a gentle voice.

I could feel the anger radiating from my father and reflexively tried to push myself further back on my bed as discreetly as possible. I was unaware that Dumbledore had noticed the small action.

"Are you telling us" Lucius began in a dangerous tone "that we are bad parents? That we are not making sure that our child is happy? He is perfectly fine; he was just too stupid and naïve and started up taking harmful substances like a common _muggle_" at this my father turned to me and I could hear and feel the disgust and anger when he spoke to me.

"So Draco, do you want to tell us _why_ exactly you started taking these drugs?" his voice was laced with venom and I could tell that I had to go along with his story.

I swallowed nervously and tried to speak as clearly as possible, knowing that my weak sounding voice to go along with my pathetic appearance would only enrage him further.

"It was j-just a mistake, I didn't know what they were, there – there was no reason behind it at all, someone in Knockturn Alley gave them to me and I never even thought" I tried to say it as convincingly as possible, but the stammer that came out my mouth gave it away that I had lied.

"Idiot boy! You just accepted these drugs from a _stranger_? You deserve to be like this for being so god damn _stupid_" My father roared at me.

My father was usually a very controlled man when it came to his emotions. He always said that we had to wear a mask of indifference to show that we were superior. For him to be exposing his anger so openly in front of someone who was not in our family scared me. It meant that what I had done would deserve serious punishment. And he was making sure I knew it. I couldn't help the tremors that started up in my body.

"Mr Malfoy may I suggest that you leave the shouting at least until Draco here is in a better condition, right now he needs peace and rest to recover" Dumbledore still spoke in a gentle voice but it was firm, more of a command than a suggestion and it seemed to remind Lucius that he was in a public place and had to keep up appearances.

"Yes of course" he replied curtly "I shall leave the lesson of accepting things from strangers for when Draco is allowed home to rest in his own bed"

I felt the blood drain out my face; I didn't like the implications of what Lucius had said. _The lesson of accepting things from strangers_. I didn't like the sound of that at all; I could hear the hidden meaning clearly.

"I assume he will be allowed home as soon as he is able to see and walk again?" Lucius asked.

"That is not my place to say I'm afraid, you will have to ask the Healers, and of course you must see what Draco would prefer." Dumbledore replied.

"Draco?" My father turned to me. It wasn't a question, it was a warning. A warning of what would happen if I didn't go home with them sooner rather than later.

"I'd like to go home as soon as possible" I lied to Dumbledore and my parents, I lied smoothly this time, though inside, my mind was screaming at me to beg Dumbledore to keep me in the castle away from my father. But what good would it do to prolong the inevitable? It would only make him angrier and the punishment harsher.

"I shall get the necessary medicine he requires" my mother spoke up for the first time since she had arrived and although her voice held no malice, it also held no sympathy or love. To her, looking after me was a duty, not a pleasure.

"Then that is that" Dumbledore concluded with a tiny hint of sadness and disappointment in his voice. _How is it that I always manage to disappoint people?_ I wondered.

They left a couple minutes later after collecting the medicine I would need, not even acknowledging me as they swept past, and I was once again alone with the headmaster.

I didn't say anything to him. I hated him for telling my parents, even though I knew it wasn't his fault, that my parents were well within their rights to know if I was injured in any way, but I still felt the need to place the blame on someone else, so that I could happily be in denial of the fact that if I hadn't started taking drugs in the first place, I wouldn't be in St Mungos. And if I wasn't in St Mungos then I wouldn't be going home to be severely punished for disgracing the family name.

_God. My life sucks. _I thought in disgust.

"I shall return to Hogwarts now Draco" The headmaster told me "however, if you need to talk to me about anything, _anything at all_, just ask one of the Healers and they will get in touch with me." He left a pause at the end his sentence as though I would suddenly start begging him to keep me at the castle instead of letting me go home, but I refused to speak, to acknowledge his presence at all even.

"Very well" Dumbledore said, and once again there was a hint of sadness in his voice, "Goodbye for now Draco."

Once he left there was silence. The silence that I hated so much and it was worse now when I couldn't see anything, with everything dark and the absence of the headmaster's reassuring (though definitely irritating) presence, I felt completely open to attack, as though something was lurking in the shadows, stalking me, and I didn't have a clue.

Once again, I felt the rise of panic and my hands began to sweat and tremble. That night's sleep was a very disturbed one. I sank in and out of consciousness, hearing noises that were probably only Healers moving around outside or a window creaking. Harmless noises, but noises that made me freeze in fear. I imagined it was my father returning with the death-eaters to teach me my lesson and I couldn't help the small whimper that escaped my lips as I sunk as far back as I could into the hospital mattress.

The second day that I woke up in hospital I felt, basically, like shit once again, though my sight had started to return and although everything was still blurry I could now make out colours But the worse thing was that all my symptoms, headaches and shaking and the rest of it, were starting to feel all too familiar.

"Right now you will be experiencing the first day of withdrawal and trust me honey," the Healer, Shelley Pearson, informed me in a voice that did not match the pet name she gave me "it will be getting a _lot_ worse than this."

_Don't I know it, _I thought dryly.

"We'll be giving you painkillers for the next few days to keep the pain to a minimum" she continued, in her not very sympathetic voice, "but after that you will need to sign yourself in to a rehabilitation centre for full recovery which is a particularly _long_ and _painful_ process"

I was really starting to hate this bitch, who the hell let this sadistic whore become a Healer? And yet for some reason I recognised the name Pearson. I vaguely remember my father boasting about someone called Pearson when the Death-Eaters were over one night a few months ago. They always came over and they all got drunk and boasted about the things they had done. I hated those nights, I was often called down from my room, so that my father could insult me in front of them and they would start pulling at my hair and clothes saying I was a Mummy's boy and laughing at the way I looked. Then laughing even more when I tried to duck away from them, humiliated.

My father would always be angry at me afterwards, telling me how pathetic I was letting some petty insults get to me so badly, he would often hit me on those nights, telling me I was nothing like him. That hurt the most. I knew I wasn't good enough at anything to make him proud of me, but it was something I kept trying up till this day and probably every day still to come to succeed at, and the more I tried, the more I failed.

By the time I had come out of my flashback, the healer was gone and I shook my head to clear my mind of my father and the death eaters.

Over the next two days I took countless amounts of pain killers, hoping to get rid of my throbbing headache, but to no avail.

On the fourth day there, I was finally free of the wires and the oxygen masks and was even allowed to wander round my room. My sight had fully recovered now and I noticed that I was in a large room of my own though I had no idea what department I was in and I wasn't permitted to go outside the room in case I got dizzy, which I usually did after about ten minutes.

All in all I was started to get frustrated. Very frustrated. The silence for most of the day was torturing me, I was also allowed hardly anything to keep myself entertained, and everything I was allowed to touch was closely monitored in case there was something in it that I could use as a substitute for my pills. It was driving me insane, being stuck in a single room day after day. However, it also made me question a lot of things like, who had found me after I overdosed? The only thing I could remember was seeing green which made absolutely no sense to me at all, also did everyone back at school know I was in here? Had the person that found me spread it everywhere? And the worst question of all that kept popping up in my head, did Blaise miss me? Or was he as disgusted with me as I was?

Once the first week was over I was allowed to leave. I was able to walk around for a couple of hours now without feeling weak or getting dizzy, though occasionally a sudden fierce headache overcame me and all I could do was lie down and groan into my pillow until it passed. I still craved the blissful euphoria that came with taking drugs; I wanted them more than anything, knowing that they would make me better in an instant.

Lucius came to collect me. All I received from him was a venomous glare and I knew that I was in for it. He said nothing as he grabbed my arm in vice grip and apparated us back to the manor, saving all his words for the second we landed on our polished marble floor, where no one would hear anything.

As we landed, Lucius turned to me, his stormy grey eyes narrowed and he held my terrified gaze for what felt like forever. I knew what he was doing, he knew what effect the silence had on me, he knew that I was trembling, feeling as though I was about to be sick. He could probably even here the prayer in my head to make my punishment as quick as possible and to do it now, before I passed out under his burning gaze.

It was at least another minute before he grabbed me by the front of my robes and slammed me up against the wall.

"How could you be so stupid?" He yelled at me, his face mere centimetres from mine.

"If the Daily Prophet found out about this do you know what that would have done to us? Are you deliberately trying to disgrace us? Are you intentionally trying to rub the Malfoy name into the dirt? You disgust me! You are a _pathetic_ excuse for a Malfoy!"

"Father I'm -"

The next thing I felt was a sharp sting on my cheek as the palm of my father's hand connected with it.

"Do not" my father began in a cold, dangerous voice "even _begin_ to apologise for the shame you've brought on this family"

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes, hating my fragile state for making me so weak.

My father noticed the tears and he sneered at me.

"Look at you, you're weak. A snivelling coward. Do you really think you can make it into the Dark Lord's ranks by _crying_ like a _little girl_?" At this he gave me a disgusted look.

"Father it was a mista -" I started once again, though it came out shaky from the tears that now fell freely down my cheeks. This angered him more.

"PATHETIC" He yelled, and this time he hit me harder, sending me flying to the floor. He lifted up his cane then brought it sharply down on my chest, winding me. I could feel the blood vessels bursting under the impact and bit my tongue sharply to stop from letting out a cry.

He continued to beat me for another five minutes until not one part of my body was free of pain. I lay on the ground gasping for air trying to focus on everything around me, which was spinning wildly in front of my eyes. Even my tongue was in agony, I had been biting it so hard to stop myself from screaming.

I suddenly felt my father's rough hands grab me by my arms and pull me up from the ground before shoving me in the direction of the stairs.

"Go to your room and don't even think of leaving until I say you can, I will have a house elf bring you food. Your presence is not welcome with us." He told me before giving me a disgusted push and I stumbled up the stairs to my room, where I collapsed on to my bed, not caring that I was covered in blood, and fell unconscious.

**Harry's POV**

"Harry, why are you staring at the Slytherin table?" Ron questioned him at dinner through a mouthful of food.

"What?" I asked, snapping my attention back to my friend, not realising that once again I had been staring at the empty space in the Slytherin table, between Pansy and Blaise, which had been left empty ever since Malfoy had been taken to St Mungos.

"You've been doing it a lot lately" Hermione piped up "In fact, ever since Malfoy disappeared" She gave me a questioning look.

"Oh I'm just curious you know?" I lied "Does anybody know where he went?" I asked, feigning nonchalance.

Ron snorted "Probably gone to a Death Eater training camp" he muttered darkly.

I snorted too, trying to seem as though I knew nothing of his whereabouts and turned back to my food until Hermione stopped studying me. Once she'd got engrossed into a book that she was reading I glanced back up to the Slytherin table, this time studying Blaise Zabini.

I was impressed by the way he had handled things this past week, during potions the other Slytherins had been asking him endless questions about where Malfoy was and he had covered for him very convincingly, just giving them a mysterious smirk and a short reply of "Well that would be telling wouldn't it?" Everyone assumed he was assisting Lord Voldemort, so the Slytherins asked no further questions and merely sighed enviously and the Gryffindors glared at them, not suspicious in the slightest as to where Malfoy actually was.

For the past week I'd been wondering how Malfoy was, then wondering why I even cared. It was nine days after Malfoy had disappeared that I finally managed to find Zabini on his own.

I had walked outside after telling Ron and Hermione that I needed fresh air, to see the Slytherin quidditch team making there way back up to the castle after training. I had stood in the shade of the tree watching Zabini make his way back up the long path with the rest of them before taking out my wand and muttering "diffindo" and watched as Zabini's bag split and his books and ink tumbled onto the ground.

He bent over picking stuff up and telling the Slytherins that he'd catch them up, just like I had hoped, and I mentally cheered myself for getting that to work so well. After the other Slytherins had disappeared from sight I hurried up to Zabini just as he had finished picking up his books and cleaning up the ink that had splattered everywhere.

As I stopped in front of him he looked up, squinting in the sunlight.

"Potter?" he said in a voice that held no enthusiasm. He glanced at his bag. "Did you do this?" He asked accusingly.

"Yeah I did" I said with no guilt "I haven't been able to get you on your own all week, it called for drastic measures" I told him with a shrug.

"You'll be buying me a new bottle of ink then" He muttered studying his own cracked one before turning to face him fully "So what was so important you had to wreck my belongings?"

I fidgeted for a second, feeling a bit awkward but when Zabini gave me an impatient look I blurted out. "Is Malfoy ok?"

The dark haired Slytherin couldn't have looked more surprised; his eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hair.

"Seriously? You actually care what happens to him?" He asked in disbelief.

"Well I'm the one that found him aren't I?" I reminded him indignantly, yet I still felt slightly uncomfortable "I have a right to know how he is" I looked down at the ground.

He gave me a curious stare for a second or two before saying slowly "Dumbledore told me that he was allowed out of hospital a couple days ago and that he's gone home for a while to recover fully."

I nodded, so Malfoy was at least well enough to get out of hospital. That was something anyway. But there was something Zabini wasn't telling me, I could tell from the unsure way that he said Malfoy had gone home and I remembered something he had said to Dumbledore nine days ago.

"_Do you know why Draco started on drugs?" Dumbledore had asked._

"_The Dark Lord came to his house with a bunch of muggle-borns and blood traitors, it was Draco's job to punish them"_

No wonder he didn't sound sure if Draco was ok. Harry came out of his flashback to see Zabini watching him strangely.

"What?" I asked.

"Potter…" He hesitated for a second "Can I ask you something?"

"Er… yeah I guess so" I waited curiously wondering what on earth he would have to ask me.

"Why did you help him? And why haven't you told everyone what really happened instead of letting them believe the lies I'm telling them?" he asked, his eyebrows furrowed in genuine confusion.

I sighed. I honestly didn't know the answer to that. "I don't know to be honest, I helped him because even though I hate him" I paused "I don't want him to die or anything, I just saw someone in trouble and well -"

Blaise snorted "Your hero complex kicked in" He finished for me.

I huffed and began to protest "I do not have a -"

"Yes you do Potter, anyway, my other question?" he looked at me expectantly.

"What was that again?" I asked, stalling for time.

"Why have you not told anyone why Draco really isn't at school? You could have told the media, had all the Malfoy's shamed. The entire school would have turned him into a joke and made sure he was an outcast, _especially_ Slytherin. You hate the Malfoy's, so why are you protecting him?"

"Because… because" I struggled to think up an answer, I didn't have a clue why I didn't say anything, was it because I pitied Malfoy? Felt slightly responsible for the overdose and didn't want my own name dragged into it? I didn't know. "I don't know" I answered truthfully. "I just knew that telling everyone wasn't the right thing to do."

Zabini studied me for a second, then nodded and walked back up to the castle.

And I was left to wonder again. Why am I protecting Malfoy?

**Chapter 10 up for you all!**


	11. The Camera Never Lies

The Camera Never Lies

**A/N: I think somewhere in here I've messed something up cos at one point I had Lucius Malfoy as an escaped death eater and then he just walks into a public hospital… which escaped convicts don't really do, do they? Damn… well I hope no one minds if I sort of switch between the two until I find a way of sorting that…? Let's pretend he's on bail or something :) **

**Anyway – on with the story!**

It was four days before I was allowed out of my room, a house elf came and gave me a small amount of food every now and then as well as the pain killers that my mother had collected from the Healers. On the first day my father's instructions were that I was allowed no pain killers and no wand so that I had to suffer through the withdrawal. I didn't move all day. Even breathing was more pain than I could stand. It took till the second day when I was finally allowed the medicine (though still not my wand) that I was able to stagger off my bed and into the shower so that I could wash off all the dried blood and examine my sickly white skin which was now littered with purple-blue patches everywhere. Looking in the mirror, I decided I looked like a mutated leopard.

Finally after four days of being locked up, my father came into my room - his upper lip curled in disdain - tossed my wand at me and told me that the doctors said fresh air would do me good, before exiting the room again.

I shot out of that room as fast as humanly possible, I was so sick of being locked up in rooms by myself, I had begun to get extremely claustrophobic, which did not help my recovery at all.

I decided to go to Diagon Alley, figuring that since no one at school would be there, I could go around without having to duck into corners or make up a good excuse as to why I wasn't in school.

For the first time I wondered what rumours were going around school about me vanishing. Hopefully no one knew a thing about the drugs.

_Shit, they better not, I'll be a complete outcast if I go back and everyone knows, the Slytherins wouldn't pass up a chance to bring me down_, I thought, _and then some arrogant little big-headed prat is going to end up in charge instead of me. _This thought really angered me, I knew that if I was no longer the Slytherin leader then there would be complete chaos while everyone else tried to get up there to be the boss. All the other students would start getting full of themselves trying to push people around. It would get very ugly.

I walked down the streets of Diagon Alley looking in the windows for anything interesting. Glancing into one of the windows I saw a man I recognised as a reporter for the Daily Prophet. My eyes widened in panic and I turned around quickly, cursing myself for coming to somewhere so public, and started walking briskly back down the street, not noticing the man who walked straight out from an alleyway directly in front of me until I had already crashed into him and gone flying back onto the ground.

Swearing I stood back up and was about to apologise to the man when I recognised him and I felt the blood run out my face and my heart rate speed up.

_Oh god, no, not here, not now_. I thought as the man leered at me, obviously remembering who I was.

"Ahh I haven't seen you in a while" The skinny, cloaked man said smiling "How is you're supply doing?"

I gulped, wanting to run away from there, but I felt too dizzy with withdrawal and panic to run anywhere without collapsing.

"Um… It's f-fine" I told him shakily taking a step backwards.

"Hmm, well that's a shame cos today I'm doing a deal, anyone can get _these_ for free" the man smirked knowingly as my gaze locked onto the packet of small red capsule-shaped pills that he pulled from his cloak pocket.

_No Draco, don't even think about doing this to yourself now! You're supposed to be getting over them! Oh why the hell did this guy have to show up?_

And before I knew what I was doing, I had grabbed the pills from the guy, - who laughed then disapparated - slid into the alleyway he had walked out from and opened the packet pulling one out from the plastic and placing it in the palm of my hand.

_Don't do this Draco! Look what these drugs have done to you, don't start that again! _One side of my mind was arguing. Unfortunately, the other side was speaking louder, _Well why not take one? It'll make you feel better and as long as your more careful this time and only take one at a time then you'll be perfectly fine._

The second argument was much more persuasive than the first, I decided, and abandoning any common sense I had left, tipped the pill into my mouth, just as a bright light flashed directly beside me. I nearly choked as I whipped around and saw two men. One of them was the reporter that had been standing in the shop I had run away from, the other man was holding a camera.

I froze in fear, I considered stuffing the pills in my pocket and running, but the damage had already been done and the incriminating evidence was already on the film of that camera.

The man that I recognised was having a field day scribbling things down onto a notebook and looking up at me excitedly.

"Well!" he exclaimed in sadistic delight "It seems as though the Malfoy's are about to get exactly what they deserve!" he cackled and the camera man clicked once again before they both vanished with a loud pop, their laughter still ringing in my ears.

I nearly jumped out of my skin as my father's pale hand slammed the newspaper down on the table in front of me. I hadn't slept a wink last night praying that for some reason my parents wouldn't buy the Daily Prophet today. But they did, and as the bold, black headline "**DRACO MALFOY: DEATH EATER OR JUNKIE?" **leaped out at me, I inhaled sharply with dread.

"Read it" Lucius hissed through gritted teeth.

I began to read the rest of the article, and with every word, an extra ounce of horror began to settle in.

**DRACO MALFOY: DEATH EATER OR JUNKIE?**

_The Disappearance of Draco Malfoy Has Been Solved!_

_Two weeks ago 16 year old Draco Malfoy, son of death eater Lucius Malfoy, vanished without a trace from the halls of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

_Rumours circulated the school and most people arrived at the same conclusion; he was following in his father's tainted footsteps and becoming the newest and youngest recruit for He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named._

_However, these assumptions have turned out to be wrong! Or at least, not yet proven true. The mystery has been solved as I myself came across the youngest Malfoy in Diagon Alley 'Popping Pills' in a dark alleyway._

_To the Malfoy's we must ask: Is there any limit to your illegal acts?_

I stayed rooted to my chair, only realising as I finished the article that my breathing had stopped. I could feel the top of my head burning from the incensed glare I knew my father was casting down upon me.

"Father -"

"What Draco?" He spoke in a quiet, deadly voice. A voice I knew as the calm before the storm. "What can you possibly say to convince me that you don't deserve to be punished?"

_Deny it!_ A voice in my head screamed at me.

_He'll know that I'm lying idiot!_ I screamed back.

_What have you got to lose? He'll punish you anyway._

_True._

"It's not true, he's making it up! Look" I said desperately, indicating at the page "there's no evidence."

_Please, please believe me!_ I prayed silently.

My father said nothing and for a moment I felt a slight ember of hope in me, but it was promptly distinguished as he locked his cold, unfeeling eyes with mine, wide with fear and feigned innocence. His eyes narrowed and he struck me hard across the cheek. The sharp sting made my eyes water and I very nearly unbalanced on my chair, only just managing to get a grip on the table before I toppled over completely.

As I looked back up, wincing, I noticed that he had folded out the other half of the page, where two large pictures of me silently yet openly betrayed my lie.

The top picture was of me tipping a capsule into my mouth, the incriminating plastic bag held in full view in my other hand.

The bottom picture was of me frozen with wide, dilated eyes; an unmistakeable look of shock, fear and, worst of all, guilt, written clearly across my face.

The caption underneath the picture was one word that defined then and now perfectly; "_Busted_."

I met my father's eyes and knew that '_busted_' was exactly what I was.

**Harry's POV**

"Ok, that's it! Someone give me their Daily Prophet" I demanded.

Ron looked at me, completely lost "What ya talking 'bout mate?" he asked groggily from where he sat slumped over his breakfast plate, yawning for the twelfth time since he woke up.

"Look! Everybody's been getting a Daily Prophet, taken one look at the front page and looked like they're about to die of shock. I want to know what's going on!" I told him, annoyed at not knowing what everyone else did.

"Holy shit!" I heard Seamus exclaim from a couple people down the Gryffindor table. I looked over to see him also holding a Daily Prophet and was staring at it with his mouth open and his eyes wide; then a slow smile crossed his face.

"Well who'da thought?" He said then he lifted his gaze and met my confused one. He tossed the newspaper to me and I caught it easily.

"Read it" he told me, grinning "It's a shocker"

Ron and Hermione leaned over my shoulder reading with me. It was only once I had read through the entire article that I realised my jaw had dropped. Glancing at the other two I noticed that they matched my expression. Ron's face broke into a wide grin.

"Down with the Malfoys!" he exclaimed and reached over to high-five Seamus.

I, on the other hand, couldn't seem to feel any joy about this whatsoever. I glanced up to the Slytherin table to see the Slytherins all looking at the paper with varying expressions. The majority of the Slytherins just sat with shocked looks on their faces. However the others were a mix of disgusted looks, or gleeful smirks at the downfall of the Slytherin Prince. All except for Blaise Zabini, who sat beside Pansy and her gossiping friends, with a look of horror on his face with a surprising hint of anger that I didn't understand.

After a few seconds Zabini glanced up to the Gryffindor table and caught my eye. Zabini tilted his head slightly in the direction of the door, a subtle movement that no one else noticed but I understood his meaning perfectly.

Turning to Hermione I said "Hey, I need to write a letter I'll see you in Defence Against the Dark Arts yeah?"

Hermione didn't look completely convinced by the lie but nodded all the same.

I stood up from the bench and walked casually out of the Great Hall, knowing I was being followed by Zabini. I found the first unused classroom on the first floor and slid into it leaving the door partially open behind me for Blaise to slip into a couple seconds later.

"So what was it you wanted?" I asked, not entirely sure why he wanted to talk to me.

I could tell Zabini was trying to keep himself from losing his Slytherin dignity by the way he clenched and unclenched his fists and kept opening his mouth as if to say something then abruptly closing it again.

"Come on, I don't have all day to see your goldfish impressions you know?" I told him. I always seemed to get a bit nastier in the presence of Slytherins.

Zabini glared at me before answering "Ok fine. Look, Potter, I need your help with _this_" he tossed the newspaper onto a desk, the two pictures of Malfoy in full view.

"_Me?_ How am _I_ supposed to help with that?" I asked him, completely bewildered "The damage is done, there's nothing you can do to sort that now"

"But your Harry Potter, you have the media and the Ministry in the palm of your hands!"

"No I really don't think I -"

"Try and talk them into printing another article, make them say it was all a lie! _Anything!_ Just find a way for this all to be put right" The Slytherin was getting increasingly rattled by my lack of help.

"There's no way they'll do that" I told him, shaking my head "The pictures are there, they've got all the proof they need, even if there was another article no one would believe it"

Zabini turned around so that his face was hidden from me. I felt bad, I really did, but there was nothing I could do to help.

I watched the back of Zabini's head and contemplated asking him why he had looked angry when he had read the article. At first I presumed it had been because of the reporter but there was something different about it that kept niggling at me. I decided to ask him.

"Zabini, if you don't mind me asking, why were you angry when you saw the pictures of Malfoy?"

Zabini turned back round to face him, his feelings now back under control "I was angry at Draco, for being so freaking _stupid_"

I must have looked surprised because the Slytherin took one look at my face and snorted.

"I know" he said "but why did he have to start taking them again? And in such a _public_ place? God, he's such an idiot."

He paused, his breathing was heavy and he turned to me with such an uncharacteristic desperation that I had to take a step back.

"Potter please" he begged "you of all people know what it's like when everyone's against you. Don't do that to him"

That definitely shot a pang of guilt into me and I knew how hard it must be for a Slytherin to be begging a Gryffindor for something but I could only look back at him helplessly.

"Zabini, I- I can't do anything about it, there's _nothing_ that can be done to reverse that -"

"Just _try_, it will be so much worse for him, he's a _Slytherin_ for God's sake, they'll rip him to pieces so fast you won't even have realised he was here. _Please_ Potter" Zabini pleaded, actually getting onto his knees.

"You really care about him, don't you?" I said, shocked at the amount of emotion in the Slytherin's eyes.

Blaise nodded sadly.

"You'll still be on his side though, he'll have someone" I grappled with this "That's all he'll need really, just one person to believe in him could make all the difference, maybe the others would start to believe him too"

Zabini shook his head miserably. "I can't be on his side if no other Slytherins are"

"What? What do you mean? I thought you just said you cared about him!" I said accusingly.

"I _do_ Potter, I really do. But that's the thing, since I was closest to him while he was in charge it's going to be bad enough for me if I don't stick by him, If I do and my parents hear that _I'm _an outcast as well -" he let the sentence drop there, shaking his head.

I understood what he was going to say. His father was a Death Eater, so word would get back to Voldemort about him siding with Draco. But I still felt disgusted.

He must have noticed my disgusted expression for he spoke again hurriedly "That's why something needs to be done _now_ to convince everyone it's not true before we have a new leader in Slytherin! _Please_ Potter"

"I'm sorry Zabini, but if there's nothing his _best friend_ is willing to do to help him, then there's definitely nothing I can do" I told him coldly.

Then I turned around and walked straight out the door, leaving the Slytherin on his knees in the unused classroom.

**Chapter 11! I'm getting quicker aren't I? I have set the goal of getting 50 reviews for this story, I've wrote 11 chapters and I've only got 24 reviews :O come on guys! That's like…. (Brain attempting to count)…. 2 and a tiny little tad of reviews per chapter. This makes me sad, I think I will hold my story at ransom until people who aren't my regular viewers (I send my love to those people xx) start reviewing :P Mwahahaha!**

**Oh and also I know I've made Blaise kinda not so nice in this one but I was kind of struggling to find a way to turn this from Draco/Blaise to Draco/Harry. I was pondering making it a threesome like someone suggested but I don't think I will :) **


	12. Consequences

Consequences

My eyes felt abnormally heavy when I opened them and everything around me was blurred, as though I had tried to open my eyes under water. It was only when I reached up my hand to rub them, making contact with the bruised skin and a sudden wave of pain made me yelp out loud, that the memories of the previous day caught up to me.

"_You idiot!" My father shrieked at me, punching me hard in the face and knocking me clean off the chair._

_I spun around on the floor to face my father._

"_Please father" I begged "I couldn't help it! It was-"_

"_How dare you try and make excuses! This is all your own fault Draco!" a kick caught me in the ribs and I let out a yell. _

"_Please forgive me" I scrambled back round to him on my knees._

"_Look at you. You're pathetic, crawling on the floor like a house elf" He sneered at me and lifted his shoe, kicking me hard in the face. I crashed back once more, feeling the warm flow of blood running from my broken nose, tasting the bitter coppery taste on my tongue as it dripped into my mouth._

"_Dirty blood" My father told me "That's what you have Draco. You're no purer than that mudblood Granger now" The words cut through me like a knife and I looked up to see my father pull his wand out. He chucked the newspaper onto the floor beside me._

_My breathing was shallow and raspy as I looked from the newspaper back to my father who had taken a step closer and now had his wand pressed up against my forehead. I began to tremble in terror._

"_You deserve every bit of pain this causes you Draco." He hissed._

"_Father-" _

"_You are no son of mine. Crucio!"_

_My screams filled the kitchen, echoing off the walls. The knife that had pierced me at his earlier words multiplied and stabbed me in every place it could find, not leaving any part of me without pain._

_The last thing I saw was the black words of the Daily Prophet swarming around me like a hundred dementors, each sucking more and more happiness from my life until the world went black._

So this must be where they left me, where I had been disowned to, I thought, looking around at the litter-covered, dingy street. Where the hell was I? All the buildings around me were boarded up and looked like just opening a door would send them crashing to the ground.

Gingerly, I stood up and realised that I had a small bag beside me and thankfully, my owl. I dug through the bag and found my quill and ink but no paper. I glanced around and saw a bin a few metres away with a newspaper near the bottom.

I staggered over to it, my entire body struggling to move from the force of the cruciatus curse and scrunched my face up in disgust at the thought of having to shove my arm down into a _bin_.

I hesitated for a few seconds my arm poised, before closing my eyes, swallowing all my pride and plunging my hand in, grabbing the newspaper and yanking it out before I could even begin to identify the contents of the bin.

I opened the paper with the very tips of my fingers and realised it was a muggle newspaper, and in a way it was a relief. At least there'd be no Daily Prophet reporters about to get another article on the disowned, disgraced son of a Death Eater.

I ripped part of the paper off and dipped my quill in the ink. _Hang on, _I thought_, who the hell do I write to?_ There was no way I could go back home and I didn't have any relatives who weren't involved with my Father and Voldemort so they were all out of the question. I knew my mother had a cousin who was on the light side but I didn't have a clue who or where she was and I had no idea how well she'd take to me just asking to come live with her all of a sudden.

The only person I could write to was Dumbledore. I took a deep breath then started to write.

_Professor Dumbledore,_

_I know that in the past while I have made a lot of mistakes and I didn't know who to turn to right now. I'm sure that you've seen the Daily Prophet and unsurprisingly I have been disowned from my family and I have nowhere to go._

_I remembered that you told me if I wanted to ask you anything then I could get in touch with you. So I was wondering if you will allow me to return to Hogwarts. I understand if you do not want me to be student there anymore but even if it is just until I can find a place to stay I would be extremely grateful._

_Yours sincerely,_

_Draco Malfoy_

I folded it up and handed it to my owl who gave me a ridiculously disdainful look for a bird; I think it was trying to raise an eyebrow at me at my lack of a proper envelope.

"Look, it's all I've got ok?" I said indignantly, before realising I was getting defensive about the look I had received from an animal. I sighed, "Just take it to Professor Dumbledore ok?"

It flew away, and I sat back onto the ground, watching it disappear then curling my knees up to my chest and laying my head on my kneecaps, letting out a heavy sigh.

_And now I wait, _I thought to myself keeping my eyes on where my owl had vanished and hoping that Dumbledore replied as soon as possible.

As it turned out I didn't have to wait that long. About half an hour later there was a loud pop right beside me and I let out a surprised yell, jumping to my feet and grabbing for my wand, which I suddenly realised wasn't there.

I looked up in fear, expecting to see a Death Eater, but in front of me stood Albus Dumbledore who was smiling reassuringly at me.

"I think, Draco, that you should come to Hogwarts and get fully healed and rested" he told me in a gentle voice, I was so relieved I nearly hugged him, but that just wouldn't have been right so I settled with a grateful smile. "Take my arm" he instructed, and I obeyed.

The second we landed I nearly fell over from dizziness. Luckily, Madame Pomfrey and the Headmaster were there to grab me so I didn't quite hit the ground.

"You need rest and nourishment tonight" the medi-witch admonished me "you don't look as though you've been keeping particularly well" and she dragged me over to a bed and pushed me firmly down.

"Eat this" she told me, handing me a tray filled with nourishing food "and drink that it is filled with healing potion, you should feel much better after that, though you certainly do need a good night's rest."

"Poppy, if it is alright I would like a word with Draco" Dumbledore cut in.

Pomfrey nodded and bustled away.

Dumbledore turned and noticed me watching him apprehensively. He nodded towards the tray.

"You can eat while I talk, Poppy is right, you definitely need it." He sat down on the bed across from mine.

I didn't waste any more time after that and dug into the food, not caring how ungracefully I ate right at that moment. Food had never tasted as delicious as it did right then. With every mouthful I could feel a tiny bit of strength returning to my body.

Dumbledore nodded approvingly and began to speak, "Ok Draco, first of all I'd like to thank you for sending me that letter, it was a very wise and brave thing to do"

I internally shuddered at the words 'wise and brave' it sounded so _Gryffindor _and I couldn't quite understand how sending a letter to ask for help was _brave._ My expression must have betrayed that because Dumbledore continued to explain.

"It takes bravery to ask for help Draco, it is sometimes one of the hardest things to do; admitting that you made mistakes and that you need someone to guide you." he told me and I honestly didn't know how to react to that. "Brave" wasn't a word that I usually associated with myself.

"Carrying on - please continue to eat – of course it is alright for you to stay here at Hogwarts and continue being a student, though I must ask you to think carefully how you want this to be done" He paused as I looked up confused "I don't know how many people know of you being disowned by your family but word will get out eventually and probably to the Slytherins first who may not be so… understanding shall we say."

In truth, I hadn't thought about that at all, in fact nothing about my disownment had really hit me just yet. But surely, Blaise would stick by me wouldn't he? I wanted to believe that maybe he would, but I knew how Slytherin worked, they couldn't have a leader that had been disowned and no longer had any power or connections. I mean, I practically wrote that rule myself. But there was still a part of me, a foolish, newfound _Gryffindor_ part of me that hoped he would stick by me anyway.

"-atter of your name"

"I'm sorry what did you say?" I hadn't realised that Dumbledore had still been talking and felt embarrassed at zoning out into my own world of thoughts.

"I said that there is also the matter of your name, now that you are not a Malfoy, how would you like yourself to be addressed?"

And it was right that second that it all hit me. _I'm not a Malfoy._ I had no more money; I'd only been left a small bag of belongings, no family, no home, no heritage and no position of power within the school anymore. _Nothing_. There was absolutely _nothing_ left for me.

"I understand that it is all a shock and a lot to get used to, for now I shall just call you Draco and you can think that one over"

I nodded dumbly, _not a Malfoy. _My brain kept repeating it over and over; it was all I had ever relied upon. I could do anything I wanted, _have_ anything I wanted because I was a Malfoy. What was to become of me now?

"The only thing I must insist is that your problem is dealt with" the headmaster continued "I cannot allow illegal substances in this school, so I will have a talk with the Ministry and see if we can get you into a Rehabilitation Centre and then you will be allowed back here to continue your studies, that is my only condition" he studied me over the tops of his half-moon spectacles.

The food I was eating suddenly seemed to stick in my throat. The thought of going to a drug rehab made me feel ill and shaky, I'd have to go through withdrawal again and already I could feel it starting, the headaches and the trembling and the general depressed feeling were all on the brink of taking over me. But I knew that if I wanted to stay within the safety of Hogwarts then I'd have to do it.

My own scared grey eyes met with Dumbledore's calming sparkling blue eyes and I gave a tiny nod of assent.

"I am proud of you Draco" He said standing up and smiling "Now, I will talk to the Minister for Magic in the morning and shall inform you of what is happening then, until then finish your food and sleep" he swept out of the hospital wing.

I finished up the food and downed the rest of the healing drink, which had definitely made me feel better; my bruise was no longer painful and I'm pretty sure it was fading quicker, the after effects of the crucio was practically all gone so now all I really needed was to sleep and I happily lay back on the bed and let the comforting cushioning of the bed lull me into a peaceful darkness.

I was woken up later and without even opening my eyes I knew it wasn't daylight yet. I still felt much too tired and was all set to hit whoever had shaken me awake from my first peaceful sleep in weeks.

I opened my eyes and for a second I let them adjust to the darkness before slowly turning around to face the person who would be on the receiving end of my fist.

Yet, when my eyes finally focussed fully on the face before me, I was shocked to see Blaise Zabini and all thoughts of punching him flew out my head.

"Blaise! What are you doing here? How did you know I was in here?" I questioned him, not being able to stop myself from looking him over all the time I questioned him.

He hadn't changed a bit, he was still as hot as he was when I had left and for that I was very glad. It cheered me up a lot to see Blaise.

"I was up and walking around the castle, couldn't sleep y'know? Anyway, I heard Dumbledore talking to McGonagall saying you were back so I came right up here to make sure that you were ok" He looked me over "God, you have no idea how good it is to know you're ok" He said to me, though his voice was strained slightly. Not that I cared of course.

"Can you stay with me for a bit?" I blurted out before I could stop myself.

Blaise gave me a weak smile "Yeah sure mate, um… look there's something I need to say" he hesitated and I don't know whether it was the healing potion or the lack of sleep that made my brain not register that whatever he wanted to say wasn't good, or maybe just his presence that hadn't been there for so long; but instead of waiting to hear what he had to say and saving myself a whole heap of humiliation, I wound my arms round his neck.

"You don't have to say anything" I whispered to him, and pressed my lips firmly against his, ignoring the Slytherin rule of 'no guys kissing guys if you're sober' and for a minute I thought everything was ok. I felt elated that he was here, that he hadn't abandoned me, that I still got to touch him. My heart lifted as the weight of my earlier doubts vanished and I pressed myself closer to him.

It took a ridiculously long time for me to realise he wasn't kissing me back. I pulled back and for the first time I truly noticed his facial expression. His teeth were biting on his lower lip, the way he did when he was nervous about something and he kept meeting my eyes then glancing away again with a look of apprehension.

"Blaise? What is it?" I asked and all of the worry began to pile up again.

"I- I can't help you Draco" Blaise stammered out then he stopped, not wanting to continue.

"What do you mean? I don't understand" I said, though I think I did understand, I just didn't want to.

It all came out in a rush after that.

"I want to be your friend Draco, I want to be _more_ than that I really, honestly do, but I can't! I can't stay with you, I mean we're in _Slytherin_ you're going to be cast out in no time and I have to still be in their good books or my father will hear about it and it's going to be hard enough with the power struggle in Slytherin right now but my father's already sent me a letter saying no to associate myself with you and if I'm still friends with you I'll be treated as a traitor and I can't let that happen" he panted, out of breath after getting it all out.

I just sat, stunned. Blaise was leaving me, just like my family. No one wanted me anymore; I had screwed my life up for good this time. Maybe leaving school would be a better idea after all. I couldn't imagine being in Hogwarts if Blaise wasn't with me, beside me all the time, no more of his comforting touches, no one who understood me. I'd have no one.

I couldn't say anything, I just looked at him with a look so desperate and rejected that I knew he would be disgusted with me.

"I'm sorry Draco but it's over, you don't belong in Slytherin anymore" he paused, drawing in a deep breath "and you don't belong with me."

He stood up from the bed and walked out without a backwards glance.

And all of the feelings that I had held back, after being slated in the newspaper, disowned from my family, rejected by Blaise, came crashing to the surface. My entire body was racked with sobs and I turned onto my stomach so that I could scream into my pillow and sob to my shattered heart's content.

**Harry's POV**

"Ok Harry" Hermione had cornered me that night while the rest of the Gryffindors were all asleep "Tell me what's going on"

"Tell you what's going on with what?" I asked her, completely baffled.

"You and Malfoy and Zabini" She said, "I'm not stupid you know, I can tell you know more about this whole Malfoy thing than you're letting on" She levelled me with a look of expectancy and disapproval.

"Ok look" I replied sighing, because what harm would it do to tell her now that everyone knew anyway "I knew Malfoy was on drugs before he vanished, it was in Potions, do you remember Snape pairing us together?"

Hermione nodded.

"Well, Malfoy was completely out of it, he had no idea what was going on and he was shaking and everything and he had serious mood swings in the space of about twenty minutes"

Hermione raised her eyebrows in as way that said 'that's not much different to usual' and I nodded in agreement.

"But it was worse, like usually he goes from smug to jealous to angry. They're practically the only feeling he knows, but it was more than that; he looked so _defeated_ and I swear he was going to start crying and then he was really angry for no reason at all, that was the day he stormed out."

"Then on the day he vanished I had gone to the library, remember that? I saw him there, he was on the floor and he couldn't breathe and he collapsed right in front of me and there was red pills all around him so I took him to the hospital wing and it turned out he had overdosed so they took him to St Mungos" I breathed for a second, feeling relieved after getting it off my chest "Oh and Zabini knew he was on drugs as well and wanted me to get the media to write a different article saying that Malfoy wasn't actually on drugs" I finished.

"Oh my god Harry!" Hermione had stared at me with huge eyes and her hands over her mouth when I had mentioned the overdose. "Why didn't you say anything to me before?"

"I didn't know what to say" I told her truthfully "It wasn't any of my business and I didn't know how to help and now I feel so _guilty_ for having done nothing to help him-"

Hermione grabbed my arm and forced me to look at her.

"Harry it is _not_ your fault, you have _nothing_ to feel guilty about" She told me fiercely "You could have left him in the library but you didn't and you never told anyone. You did help him, and not only that, you protected him. There was nothing more you could have done" She smiled gently at me.

"Thanks 'mione" I said gratefully. I felt a bit better already.

"Right" She said "I'm going to bed are you staying up?"

"Yeah I think I will for a bit."

"Ok, goodnight Harry"

"Goodnight"

Once she had left, I picked up my invisibility cloak and walked out the common room, I didn't feel like sleep was anywhere near coming to me.

I had gotten down to the fourth floor of my wander round the castle when I saw a figure disappearing just ahead of me into the corridor that led to the Hospital Wing. Curiosity filled me and I trailed after them quietly.

I caught up to the person and realised it was Blaise Zabini. The Slytherin glanced around before sliding into the infirmary and I managed to slip through the gap before the door closed behind me.

Zabini walked up to one of the beds and leaned over, shaking who ever was in it.

After a few seconds the person on the bed stirred and said in a sleepy voice "Blaise?"

_Hang on, I recognise that voice_, I thought. It was Malfoy! What was he doing here? Zabini had said he had gone home so why was he in the Hospital Wing?

I listened to their conversation, and watched with a hint of embarrassment and feeling a tad stalker-y as Malfoy kissed Zabini who didn't respond at all. I watched as Malfoy pulled away from him and as Blaise told him that they could no longer be together and saw as the most intense look of desperation crossed the blonde's face, in that moment I hated Zabini, who the hell was he to say something like that when the blonde was still obviously cut up about the article and everything? I watched as Zabini walked away and I only just managed to restrain myself from hitting him as he passed by me and exited the room. I turned to Malfoy whose face crumpled and he turned round to scream and cry into his pillow so no one would hear him.

I stayed and watched as he sobbed for twenty minutes and then it finally began to calm down a little. I wanted to say something to him, but it had to be the right thing and I knew I had to be careful.

I walked up to him and slipped off my invisibility cloak. I looked down at his pale, trembling form and was consumed with pity.

"Malfoy" I said softly.

The blonde whipped round and backed up against the back of the bed.

"Potter?" Malfoy's voice was still shaky and sounded raw from the tears.

"Yeah, listen I saw what happened with you and Zabini and I-"

"You saw that?" Malfoy went pale then suddenly he turned to me with fury written over his face. "You've been here for the past fucking half hour? What do you want? Why can't you just leave me alone? I want to be a-" his voice cracked and he couldn't continue, instead he wrapped hi arms around his head as though to block me out.

"No" I told him quietly but firmly "You don't" I sat down beside him and he tried to move away but I reached out and grabbed his arms and pulled them away from his face.

Fresh tears were now making there way down his pale cheeks.

"Listen, you need to get this fixed ok? And it will be, Dumbledore will make sure you go to rehab and get better and you don't need the Slytherins or Blaise freaking Zabini to make that happen."

Malfoy shook his head miserably, defeat plainly etched across his features. "You don't get it Potter. Its fine for you, with your friends and your _Gryffindor loyalty_, you stick with each other through everything. Slytherin is different, we're not like that, we-"

"You hoped Zabini would stick with you though didn't you? I could tell"

"I was being stupid" Malfoy said and closed his eyes in an attempt to block the flow of tears.

"No." I told him forcefully. "It wasn't you that was stupid; it was him."

Malfoy simply shook his head, not looking up at me and I wondered what the hell I could say to make it better. I also wondered for the millionth time why I cared so much about making it better. _Guilt,_ I told myself, _you're stupid hero complex is making you feel guilty for not having helped him earlier._

"When you come back to Hogwarts after – well, yeah… if it's still terrible for you here you can always come talk to me you know." I told him, trying to make my voice as reassuring as possible.

For the first time Malfoy lifted his head and looked me in the eyes with something other than hate; hope. It was only for a second before they were filled with despair that I couldn't even guess the depth of. But it was a start.

Then suddenly his look changed to horror and I looked at him puzzled as a sort of dreaded recognition seemed to cross his face.

"What?" I asked anxiously "What's wrong?"

"You" Malfoy breathed out "Your eyes - You're the one that brought me to that found me after-"

Oh. "Yes" I replied "That was me"

The horrified expression didn't leave his face and I was starting to get a little bit worried - though he tears had at least stopped - so I decided to move the subject back away from me.

"Look Malfoy this _will_ be sorted out, I promise you. Dumbledore and I will help you get better." I said sincerely.

Malfoy suddenly looked distraught again and lowered his eyes.

After a couple minutes of awkward, heavy silence I decided that I had said enough for one night.

"Well, I guess I'll go to bed err… goodnight Malfoy" I said, standing up.

Malfoy looked up and opened his mouth and I thought he was going to ask me something so I waited in a kind of hopeful anticipation, but after a second he closed his mouth and shook his head, rolling onto his side so his back was to me. So I left.

**Draco's POV**

Every time he called me Malfoy the same words screamed at me in my mind. _You are not a Malfoy! Not a Malfoy. Not a Malfoy._ Like a chant being spoken over and over again.

I had wanted to ask him to stay with me, not because I like him or anything, but because I would welcome anything that would keep the silence at bay. I couldn't do it though. I couldn't throw away the last shred of dignity I had by asking a pathetic favour from Potter. And so I turned away and closed my eyes, listening to his disappearing footsteps and resigning myself to another silent night.

**So that's chapter….12! I'm still not very sure how many chapters this story is going to have but there's definitely quite a few more I think :) sorry for it taking quite a while I had meant to write it faster but it was a hectic couple of weeks. Hope you enjoyed! And once again please review :) thank you to all the people who keep encouraging me to update it's really nice to hear from you xx**


	13. Negotiations

**Negotiations**

**Harry's POV**

I woke up in the morning to the strangest feeling; something was nipping at my ear. Blearily I swatted at it with one hand and it temporarily stopped. Sighing, I rolled back over to go to sleep and was rewarded with an extra hard nip on the nose causing me to bolt upright with a yelp, my hand massaging my stinging nose.

"What the -" I exclaimed, looking around the room and finding the culprit of the nipping now perched on my bedside cabinet. The owl was small with a mix of golden and white feathers, a tawny I reckoned. It stared at me with innocent eyes and stuck out its leg to show that it was carrying a letter addressed to me.

"Oh I see" I said walking over quietly, surprised that I hadn't woken up the rest of the room with my yelp, and untying the letter from the owl.

"You didn't have to peck quite so hard you know" I muttered to it. It gave a soft hoot and flew silently back out the semi-open window.

Wondering who could possibly be writing to me at this time in the morning, I ripped open the envelope and stretched out the paper in front of me.

_Harry,_

_I apologise for sending this so early, but I would like to inform you that the Minister for Magic, Rufus Scrimgeour shall be here at 8 o' clock for a discussion about Draco Malfoy. I have a feeling I may need your help to convince him to let Draco stay and I would be extremely grateful if you could come up here as soon as you can._

_Professor Dumbledore_

_P.S the password to my office is Pumpkin Pasties._

_Why in the world would he need my help?_ I wondered. I suppose Dumbledore and the Minister had never really seen eye to eye. I shrugged, thinking that if I could help by being there then I would definitely go. I glanced over at my clock and saw that it was 7.15. Grabbing my robes, I hurried into the bathroom to wash and change quickly.

I got up to the Headmaster's office with only five minutes to spare before Scrimgeour got there. I knocked on the door and stepped into the room when it swung open. Dumbledore greeted me with twinkling eyes and a grateful smile.

"Ah Harry, I'm so glad you came, as you know the Minister and I don't always agree on things" he told me with a slight smile "so I thought it would be best to have an extra person here to, shall we say, help with his decision."

"Professor, I don't really know how I can help, I mean -" I started to tell him but he cut me off.

"Harry, Harry, you are the one who saved Draco's life when you brought him to the hospital wing and you know that he needs help, you've seen it first hand. I just need to convince the Minister that Draco can stay at Hogwarts once he has fully recovered"

For a second I thought it over, Malfoy certainly did need help, and if it helped at all for me to be here and talk to the Minister for Magic then I was staying.

I looked up into the bright blue eyes of Professor Dumbledore and nodded with determination.

Dumbledore beamed at me then there was a sharp knock at the door, which opened to reveal Rufus Scrimgeour, a very serious expression settled on his face as he regarded us both with cold eyes.

"Dumbledore, Potter" He addressed us in a hard voice.

"Ah Minister it is so good of you to be here" Dumbledore greeted in a much more pleasant voice. I simply nodded, not even being able to muster any false feelings of pleasantry towards the Minister for Magic.

"Well let's get straight to it then shall we" The Minister said making his way across the room to sit in Professor Dumbledore's chair. I glared at him and opened my mouth to argue but Dumbledore glanced at me and conjured up two chairs so I shut my mouth.

Scrimgeour was smirking as we seated ourselves and said lazily, "So why should I let this boy stay here at Hogwarts then? He is the son of a Death Eater and a drug addict, why do you want to keep him at your School Dumbledore?"

"Minister" Dumbledore began in a calm voice, "The boy has no intention to follow in his father's footsteps, which is the reason why he started on these awful drugs to begin with, as a way of dealing with it."

"You can't just keep him here while he has this… _problem_." The way he sneered in disgust at the word 'problem' made me want to hex him so badly.

"I don't intend to Minister" Dumbledore assured "I would like to send him to a Rehabilitation Centre where he can fully recover and then I will bring him back here, where he can stay and I can keep an eye on him."

Scrimgeour smirked "How do you know he won't start taking them again? You can't keep an eye on him all the time Dumbledore" a look of triumph was on his face.

I glanced over at Dumbledore feeling slightly worried that we seemed to be losing this argument.

"I will ban him from going on Hogsmeade trips, there will be no way for him to get a new supply of pills"

"What about in school? What if someone brings them in to him?"

"There are checks on what are being brought back in from Hogsmeade -"

"I don't think that's enough Dumbledore, there are other ways to sneak things into the school and you can't keep an eye on him all the time, you do have the Order of the Phoenix to run as well remember?"

"I'll keep an eye on him." I volunteered, feeling I hadn't been helping very much in the debate.

Two pairs of eyes turned to me. I cleared my throat nervously and said again "I'll keep an eye on him, in classes and everything. I'll know if he starts again"

I noticed a quick, small smile on Dumbledore's face and a frown on Scrimgeour's as he thought this over, wavering slightly.

"That's all very well Potter but what about when he goes home for the holidays? And what about when he is in his own Common Room?"

_Damn_, I thought, racking my brains for another argument.

Luckily, Dumbledore seemed entirely prepared for this question.

"That is simple, Minister, we can move him to a different room, one that is closely monitored. And as for the holidays-"

I watched Dumbledore with curiosity, wondering how he'd ever manage to find a convincing argument for that question.

"Mr. Malfoy has been disowned. He will stay at Hogwarts in the holidays."

My jaw dropped to the floor. _Malfoy had been disowned? When had that happened?_ I thought back to anything that might've shown he had been disowned and I remembered last night. I remembered thinking how strange it was that Malfoy was in the Hospital Wing when he should have been at home. How he was in the Hospital Wing in the first place. Why was he there? I had assumed that they were treating him for the drugs. But maybe it was more to do with his parents.

It took a while for me to snap out of my stunned state and see that the Minister had also been in shock and was searching for another case against him.

Finally he snapped. "Ok fine Dumbledore you win, the boy can stay at Hogwarts, _but_ I have a few conditions."

Dumbledore and I both looked at him.

"Well first of all, he needs to be interrogated under veritaserum, we need to make sure that he is telling the truth and doesn't want to be a Death Eater. Second, since Potter here has so _chivalrously_ decided to keep an eye on him, the Malfoy boy is to move to the Gryffindor common room for close monitoring." I opened my mouth to protest but Scrimgeour cut me off with a smirk and a slight raise in his voice "Thirdly, if he so much as _touches_ another illegal substance he is to be expelled and the Ministry will decide what to do with him. And finally, he is to join the Order and become a spy for the light side, you may use whatever means necessary to get information out of him. Are we agreed on all these terms?"

I exchanged a look with Dumbledore, mine was uneasy but Dumbledore nodded slightly with a calm and determined look on his face. He turned to Scrimgeour and nodded firmly. "We are agreed Minister."

Scrimgeour nodded and he and Dumbledore shook hands then stood up.

"Right" The minister declared "Let's go visit Mr. Malfoy and find out the truth shall we?"

The two older men strode forward. I kept a couple steps behind, feeling very wary about this deal.

**Ah! I am so incredibly sorry for that ridiculous wait between chapters, I honestly didn't mean for it to be so long. Please forgive me everyone :( I know not much has happened in this chapter I just needed to get in the swing of writing again and I promise I will try and write the next one quicker and with something more interesting in it. Hope you liked it, and as always please review xx**


	14. Interrogations and Agreements

**Interrogations and Agreements**

**Draco's POV**

I was dozing on my hospital bed, not quite awake and not quite asleep but somewhere in the middle. This is how I'd been for the time that I'd been in the Hospital Wing. My thoughts were blurry but constant like one of those muggle devices, what were they called again? Oh yeah, _radios_. It was like I wasn't quite paying attention to everything I was thinking but my mind kept up an annoying monologue of _every shitty thing_ that had happened to me since the summer holidays. You could definitely say that it had a lot of talking to do. And the problem with this was that I just couldn't _shut it up._

I was driving myself crazy just lying on the bed while Potter, my father, the drug dealer, the Dark Lord and… Blaise, all whirled through my head. My eyes filled up with tears of rejection and shame every time Blaise's face appeared in my mind. I was just pressing the palms of my hands to my eyes in an attempt to stop the tears that threatened to spill when the door to the infirmary swung open and in walked Dumbledore and the Minister of Magic along with, for some reason, the bloody _Chosen One_. I glared at him with my probably red rimmed eyes, why was he always there at my most vulnerable moments? It was like he had a radar that knew when I was closest to having a breakdown or something.

Once I had glared at Potter enough to make him look uncomfortable and to make me feel vaguely satisfied I looked up to the two older men. Dumbledore was watching me with a calm expression but the Minister wasn't bothering to hide the disgust he felt for me, looking down in his sharp nose as though I was a house elf.

I straightened up a little, trying to preserve a little bit of dignity in front of Scrimgeour. I knew my Father would kill me if he saw me slumped on a hospital bed with crumpled clothes and red rimmed eyes in front of the Minister for Magic.

"Draco Malfoy" Scrimgeour said slowly, rolling the words around his mouth as though they were a particularly awful tasting sweet. "After a great deal of thought we have finally decided what is going to be done with you."

Seriously, like I was an _object_ or something. Potter saw the look of annoyance that flashed across my face and gave me a pitying look. I glared at him again. Not wanting his sympathy after the humiliating events of last night.

"Now Dumbledore here wishes to keep you in the school, personally I don't agree with this idea but we have come to an arrangement."

I waited, my heart was hammering. _Please let me be able to stay here! I haven't got a home to go to now. There's no way I could leave._

"First of all you are going to be put under questioning of Veritaserum, we need to know everything that has happened in case you are withholding information."

_No! I don't want to think about that night!_ Images of muggles and muggle-borns being tortured by my own wand flashed through my head and I had to clench my hand into a tight fist, pressing my nails into my palm to stop me from hyperventilating.

Scrimgeours lips pulled into a cruel sneer, not unlike my father, which did nothing to help my panicking.

"Well I'm guessing that shall be an _enlightening_ interrogation." He said and then carried on. "After that you shall be taken to a Rehabilitation Centre in Wizarding London where you shall receive a 30 day treatment."

I licked my cracked lips nervously "So" I began shakily and took a breath "Does – does that mean I can stay at Hogwarts?"

Scrimgeour look at me calculatingly for a second then spoke. "If all goes well for you during the interrogation and your treatment then yes you will be coming back to Hogwarts." He then sighed and looked down at his watch as though this whole meeting had completely bored him. "Well I must be going now. I'll be back in three hours to interrogate the boy. Goodbye" and with that he strode out the room. At this point I looked at Potter. Why was he even here? Did he get to just listen in on everything? He hadn't contributed to the conversation at all.

Dumbledore must have noticed my look because he smiled gently. "The reason Harry is here," at the mention of his name Potter looked up "is because he has offered to be the one to keep an eye on you and make sure no harm comes to you or others while you are being treated and once you return."

"I don't need a babysitter" I spat out at Dumbledore. Probably not the wisest of moves as I had planned to keep on his good side but come on, like I was going to let Potter be around again while I was going through withdrawal.

"Don't think of it as a babysitter, think of it as someone who's got your back" Potter spoke for the first time since he came in. He was looking at me still with pity but for the second time in twenty four hours I felt a twinge of hope from the boy.

I didn't know what to say so I simply averted my eyes to the bed I was sitting on.

"We'll be back in three hours Draco" Dumbledore told me, and even though I wasn't looking at him I could tell his eyes were twinkling.

**Harry's POV**

It was three hours later and the four of us were sitting back in the hospital wing. Malfoy had been told to sit in a chair in the centre of the room and he had reluctantly obeyed and was now sitting, his whole body tensed while the Minister of Magic, the Headmaster and I sat facing him. The Minister had placed the bottle of Veritaserum on one the bedside tables that sat beside him while he looked over a set of questions he had prepared that were clipped onto a clipboard on his lap.

I looked at Draco who had not moved his gaze since we had sat down and as I followed his line of sight I noticed that his panicked eyes were fixed on the small bottle of clear liquid.

"Right." Scrimgeour said, looking up from his notes and breaking the tense silence. "Potter, give Mr Malfoy a drop of the Veritaserum" he ordered me.

Nodding, I stood up and picked up the bottle from the table then walked slowly over to Malfoy, whose increasingly scared eyes still followed the small bottle. I reached him and he finally tore his gaze away to look at me with silver orbs, wide with fright. Without saying a word I could see he was begging me not to make him drink it.

I swallowed, feeling guilty for doing this to him. I gave him an apologetic look and muttered "open up" to him, unscrewing the lid.

Malfoy's face paled to the point where I thought he was going to faint. But he shook his defiantly and pressed his lips together.

Scrimgeour stood up and strode over to us. "Are you refusing to co-operate Malfoy?" He snarled.

I could see Malfoy was shaking. The blonde didn't look the Minister in the eye but instead looked around the room frantically as though trying to find an escape route.

Scrimgeour leaned down and grabbed Malfoy by the jaw, forcing him to look him in the eyes.

"Now you listen to me boy" Scrimgeour's voice was quiet and deadly as he spoke. "If you do not take this potion and answer every question I ask you, you will be going to Azkaban where I will order the Dementors to suck out your soul, do I make myself clear?"

Malfoy was close to hyperventilating as Scrimgeour's grip tightened. His eyes widened even further in alarm. I felt a wave of hate towards the Minister, it was so typical of people who claimed to be superior to torment the vulnerable. My hand was itching to reach for my wand, but I restrained myself and spoke as politely as I could.

"Could I talk to him for a second?" I asked with a carefully controlled tone.

The Minister sniffed in a superior way. "Do you really think that will make him see sense Potter? His kind will never obey the right people"

Through severely clenched teeth I replied "And exactly what kind would that be Sir?"

He looked at me as though I was mentally deficient and said "Well Death Eaters of course"

"We have already established that he is not a death eater Minister" Dumbledore interjected at this point "Now if Harry thinks he can help us get on with the questioning then I think it would be befitting of us to let him speak to Draco for a moment. Shall we go over the questions again and make sure we haven't missed anything while they have a moment of privacy?"

Scrimgeour looked at us all with distaste but sighed "Very well" then snatched the bottle of Veritaserum out of my hand like I was going to tamper with it or something.

As they walked over to a corner of the room I shot Dumbledore a grateful smile then turned back to Malfoy, who was still trembling in his seat and clutching the arms so tight his knuckles turned white.

I leaned down so we were eye to eye. I raised my hand to put on his shoulder and he flinched violently, still breathing heavily, obviously expecting an attack. I laid my hands gently on his shoulders and after his muscles tensing for a few seconds I felt him start to relax a little.

"Ok now listen" I said quietly but as softly as I could so as not to scare him again. "You want to stay at Hogwarts right?"

I got a terse nod in reply.

"Right, well in that case, as horrible as it is you're going to have to do what he wants cos the only way you'll have a chance of staying here is if you answer all his questions"

I watched with a mix of pity and curiosity as the fragile blonde in front of me shuddered. I didn't know all the details of what had happened to him since the summer and though I did _want_ to know, I just didn't want to find out like this.

"He'll throw me into Azkaban when he finds out what I've done" Malfoy whispered, the self-hate evident in his voice as he downcast eyes lowered to the ground.

I admit, I was itching to know what he had done. It can't have been that bad could it? _But then again_, I thought, _this is _Voldemort_ we're talking about_.

"You don't know that for sure" I tried to reassure him. "Just promise me you'll take it"

"Why do you care what happens to me Potter? We're not friends remember?"

To be honest, I still didn't know the answer to that, for some reason I felt protective of him when he was like this. I wanted him to get better and be his usual arrogant, offensive self so I could go back to hating him and everything would be normal.

I snorted at that thought and told him "Cos for whatever reason, I kinda miss having you being a complete bastard to me, this just isn't as fun, everyone's too nice around school nowadays"

It was the first time in ages that I had seen a sparkle of laughter enter his silver eyes, granted it was usually because he had just got me into trouble but it was still good to see.

Suddenly I felt a presence behind me and turned round to see Scrimgeour looking impatient. "I think that's been quite enough time" he told me and handed me back the bottle.

I took it from him and turned to face Malfoy again as the two older men sat down in their seats. Malfoy looked nervous again but not quite as terrified as before. He nodded to me and opened his mouth. I poured a bit of the potion in and watched as the blonde swallowed it. His eyes turned slightly glassy but other than that there were no changes. I stepped back and sat down as Scrimgeour cleared his throat and began his interrogation.

"Draco Malfoy" he began. "To start with, are you or are you not part of the Malfoy family?"

"No" Draco replied immediately "I was disowned, I am no longer a Malfoy"

So it was true, I thought to myself.

Scrimgeour nodded. "Are you a Death Eater?"

"No"

"Did you ever wish to become a Death Eater?"

"Yes" Malfoy replied and I couldn't help but feel a bit betrayed_. But Dumbledore had said he didn't,_ I thought and obviously this sprang to Scrimgeours mind too as he turned to Dumbledore with an accusatory look, "You told me he didn't wish to follow in his Father's footsteps Dumbledore" there was also a hint of glee in his eyes.

I turned to Dumbledore for an explanation too, when Draco spoke again, capturing all of our attention.

"I _used _to want to be a Death Eater, I don't anymore" Glassy-eyed Draco told us. I felt a slight wave of relief.

"What changed that?"

"The things he made me do…" Draco's eyes filled with horror as they remembered something only he knew of. "They weren't human, I couldn't do that again."

Jackpot. You could see Scrimgeours eyes light up as he leaned forward excitedly. My heart filled with dread and I knew the next question before he even asked. "Have you ever used an unforgivable curse on someone?"

_Please say no, please say no_, I begged him.

"Yes"

I closed my eyes and felt my heart plummet.

"Which did you use?"

"The cruciatus curse"

This was just getting worse and worse. I could feel the insides of my stomach churning with a mixture of fear and anger. I couldn't believe he had actually used it on someone.

For the Minister it was like Christmas had come early. "Who did you use it on? Could you have stopped yourself from doing it?" No magic in the world could have put out the malevolent light that beamed form his eyes.

"I didn't know any of them; I just knew they were blood-traitors and mudbloods. I was told that if I didn't then my mother and I would die. I knew I was being punished for my Father's failure." Tears filled the grey eyes "I wanted to make my father proud of me"

"What else have you done for You-Know-Who?"

"He ordered me to rape a girl in the dungeons, she was only thirteen" The tears had begun to flow freely down his cheeks.

I felt sick. I wanted to go over to him and put my hand over his mouth to stop these horrible truths spilling out.

"Did you enjoy it?" The Minister asked and I looked at with hate. What sort of sick question was that?

Draco shook his head vigorously. "I tried not to hurt her. I didn't want to hurt her. But they made me. The death eaters were yelling at me, enjoying it when she screamed. I hated every second of it"

"Anything else you've done for him? Have you ever killed anyone?"

"No, I haven't done anything else"

"So when did you start on these drugs?"

"Right after I had raped the girl"

"How did you get them?"

"There was a man in Knockturn Alley, he told me it would make me forget all the bad things that had happened, he told me it would make me feel better" there was a pause "He lied."

"Why did you overdose on them?"

"It was an accident" Draco told them "I had gone without them so long, one didn't seem like it would be enough"

"Do you want to get better? To no longer be addicted to these drugs?"

"Yes! I want to get away from them! I hate them!"

"Do you know of You-Know-Who's whereabouts?"

Draco shook his head "He often came to the Manor but I don't know where he is now"

Scrimgeour continued to ask questions about the death eaters, names and whereabouts and such like. Draco didn't know too much about them but he did give the Minister a few names that were useful to him. I stopped concentrating and thought about what Draco had done during the summer. Torture, rape… It was disgusting to think about. But he hadn't wanted to do it. He was being threatened, he was scared. I knew how easily Voldemort could force people into doing his bidding and Draco was still young and manipulated by the ideas of his father and the death eaters. I couldn't blame him entirely for what he'd done. I was brought out of these thoughts by Scrimgeour's final question.

"Draco Malfoy. Do you want to come over to the light side?"

There was a moment of silence.

"Yes."

**Draco's POV**

My wand was destroyed today. There was a huge argument after the interrogation over whether I should go to Azkaban for rape and use of an Unforgivable and in the end it was decided that my wand would be snapped and that I was to have a watcher on me at all times to make sure I didn't do anything I wasn't supposed to.

They made me watch as they broke my wand, when they did it I felt something inside me break too. I had had that wand since I was eleven, it was one good constant thing in my life. It had never left my side. It was almost as if my best friend had died today.

I was then left for a couple hours while a spare auror was located. He stayed at the hospital wing while the Minister for Magic and Potter left and Dumbledore went to get something.

When Dumbledore returned a while later the auror was relieved of duty and Dumbledore walked up to me holding a hairbrush.

"It is time to go Draco" he told me.

"Go where?" I asked in alarm.

"You are to start at the rehabilitation centre today, I am going to take you there by portkey." He informed me whilst studying me over the top of his half-moon spectacles. He allowed me to get dressed out of the Hospital Wing clothes then came back over.

Dumbledore extended the hand that held the hairbrush to me and nodded in encouragement. Swallowing, I reluctantly took hold of the handle and steeled myself for the jerking sensation that quickly followed as we were whisked to another part of the city.

I landed roughly and stumbled slightly, managing to grab hold of a metal sign to stop myself tumbling over due to my spinning head that had already been in pretty bad shape since the withdrawal had started kicking in. I happened to glance at the sign and saw the bright yellow letters spelling SUNNYBANK on the rusted metal rectangle. I realised that we were here already, right in front of the place where I would spend the next month of my life. It would be a month of hell; a mix of migraines, shaking, paranoia and horrible nightmares. I wasn't looking forward to it one bit.

One month and 8 days later… I am such a terrible person. By the way, can anyone tell me whether it's the Minister OF magic or the Mister FOR magic? I hope you liked it! Now that I've got all the boring chat out the way the next few chapters should be a bit more interesting xxxx


	15. Sunnybank

**Sunnybank**

**Draco's POV**

Dumbledore led me up the gravel path to the large building that I would be spending the next thirty days at. It was an old building, made of yellowy-brown stone with vines holding autumn-coloured leaves swooping above the large front oak doors and below the many windows. There was a small path in front of us which led to a tall iron gate. We walked up to this and, just like the gate in Malfoy Manor, the iron twisted into a face.

"Names please?" the face asked in a woman's voice, definitely friendlier than the one at my home.

I glanced nervously at Dumbledore who spoke pleasantly. "Albus Dumbledore, I am here with Draco Malfoy"

The face seemed to smile. "Welcome to Sunnybank, Albus Dumbledore and Draco Malfoy". The gates swung open and we continued to walk up the path to the steps leading up to the front doors.

I looked around me, taking in everything that would become familiar to me in the next month. There were stone statues sitting in front of the steps. Lions. How typical. I felt as though Gryffindor was stalking me. To my left was grass with a cobble path that led round the back of the building. Along the outskirts were lots of planted flowers, a mix of pinks, yellows, reds and purples. Probably made to feel everyone more at home, I guessed. I glanced to my right and noted that it was exactly the same.

We continued up the steps and walked in through the open front doors. We came to another glass door and Dumbledore rang the bell. We waited for a minute or two and in that time I began to get extremely nervous, once I was in Dumbledore would leave and I would know no one, I didn't even know if I was allowed to contact anyone. What if they all turned out to be a bunch of psychos? What was I supposed to do then? My palms started to sweat and tremble and I couldn't even tell if these thoughts were because I was nervous or the paranoia of withdrawal kicking in.

The door was eventually answered by a woman who looked to be in her late forties. She had curly auburn hair and was quite small and plump. She greeted us with a friendly smile and I couldn't help but think she looked like Mrs Weasley. I suppressed a groan. Had Dumbledore purposely brought me to a place filled with Gryffindor things? That was just cruel. Though I doubted it had even crossed his mind.

"Hello dears, welcome to Sunnybank, my name is Rhonda. Come in, come in!" I recognised her voice as the one on the gate as she ushered us in with a wave of her hand.

She stepped aside, allowing us to pass. Dumbledore smiled graciously but I didn't even make eye contact, choosing instead to glare at the marble floor as we made our way into the entrance hall. I t was a nice place; I had to give it that, with its shiny marble pillars and plush seats. But for all I knew this was just a show to cover up the horrible rooms further inside.

She walked up to the receptionist and they exchanged a few words. The girl behind the counter handed a clipboard with some papers attached to Rhonda who thanked her and walked back over to us, motioning for us to take a seat.

"Now, obviously we're going to need to know some background information so that we can figure out what we're treating you for and all that. First of all I need to ask some basic questions, so what is your full name?"

I answered her questions, name, age, current address and all the boring things people ask you. I gave her Hogwarts as my address, looking to the Headmaster sitting beside me for confirmation and he nodded encouragingly.

"Lovely" She said writing it all down "Ok, now I need to know some more personal details so we'll go into one of these rooms for a bit of privacy." She glanced between Dumbledore and me, before focusing her warm hazel eyes on me.

"Now Draco it is your choice whether you want Professor Dumbledore here to stay for these questions or not" She looked at me expectantly.

I didn't know whether I wanted him here or not, I wasn't sure what these questions were going to be and if I wanted Dumbledore to know anything else about me that he didn't already know. But on the other hand, his presence beside me was quite comforting and if I sent him away, I wouldn't know anyone here. There'd be no one to trust. In the end, my pride won out.

"I think I'd like to answer the questions by myself" I spoke to the floor, feeling a bit guilty.

"Ok love," Rhonda said, "Well thank you for bringing Draco here Albus, I can assure you he is in very capable hands" She smiled at him.

"No, thank you Rhonda it was very good of you to take him on such short notice" Dumbledore replied with a small bow, he then turned to me "I hope all goes well for you Draco, feel free to contact me at any time if anything is troubling you and I will see you back at school in a month" He smiled at me, his blue eyes twinkling.

I wanted to throw my arms around him and beg him not to leave, but I knew this had to be done. I nodded to him and lowered my eyes to the floor. Rhonda and Dumbledore said their goodbyes and Dumbledore left, leaving me on my own.

Rhonda led me through to a side room. It was quite small with cream coloured walls and a square table with two chairs on either side. She sat on one side and motioned for me to sit at the other.

"Ok so to start I have some questions about your current addiction, please answer honestly so that we can help you as efficiently as possible, there are some necessary questions to answer and others are optional so you don't have to answer if it is too personal, but try as answer as many as possible" She smiled encouragingly at me and began the questions. Most of them were the sort of things I expected, when did I start, what kind of drugs were they, where did receive them, did I tell anyone about them, what was the cause of me starting drugs. This one I just answered vaguely as 'family issues mostly'. I had made a promise to myself to try and get better as soon as possible - not so much for me but for Blaise, even though it was so he could like me again which was probably quite a selfish reason, but it was the only reason I had – which involved being as honest as I could.

She nodded and wrote it down without pressing for information, for which I was grateful.

The next page of questions was personal questions about me. Had I ever been abused in my life? I answered yes reluctantly. Who by? To this I would not answer. Had I ever experienced a head injury? I almost laughed outright at that one. She noticed my expression and explained that they needed to know whether to do a brain scan before they started treatment. I answered no. Did I or do I have any medical conditions? I answered no again. Then she asked me my sexual orientation. I felt the heat rising to my cheeks and asked why it was important. She told me that it was just a standard question and I didn't have to answer so I didn't.

After that it was a bunch of psychology questions, how did I feel about being on drugs, how did I feel when I went through withdrawal, did I ever feel like I was betraying my family and friends? I squirmed uncomfortably. One thing I had never been good at was talking about my feelings. However, she accepted my noncommittal answers and then stood up.

"Thanks for answering those Draco, understanding why you do something is a really big step to getting over it. We don't judge people here either so I hope that over the month you open up more to us."

She led me out the room, down a corridor and up a flight of stairs; we walked through some double doors and stopped at a door numbered 124.

"This will be your room while you stay here; you get your own room but if you ever want to mingle with the other inhabitants then there is a main room downstairs with entertainment to lighten everyone up a little. Oh I should probably tell you the rules as well." She said.

"Now, we do believe that everyone has their own ways to get better, however we do have a schedule that you must follow every day. There is a cafeteria where you go for lunch, lunch is an hour at 1pm and dinner is the same at 6pm. Breakfast is at 8 o'clock sharp and you will begin your classes after that. Curfew is at 10pm, your room will be locked after that and you are not allowed to sleep in anyone else's room nor are they allowed to sleep in yours. Visitation time is Sunday between 2pm and 5pm so you can have whoever you like over, but you are only allowed three people over at the most at one time."

She thought for a second to see if she had forgotten anything and in that time I thought sadly, _I can't even think of one person who would visit, let alone three._

"Oh yes, I should also tell you that magic is not allowed here, except for obviously the people running Sunnybank, I am afraid you will be receiving treatment the muggle way." She paused and I felt my heart sink, this was going to be horrible.

"Well, I'll let you get settled in your room, you will start your schedule tomorrow, there will be a copy on your desk and your belongings are already waiting for you, you can wear whatever you like, there is no uniform, so here is your key and I will see you tomorrow after breakfast honey!" She told me as she waked off down the hall.

I watched as she disappeared then placed my key in the lock and turned it. I stepped into the room and this time I didn't suppress a groan. Red, everywhere. The bedcovers were red, the carpet was red, the curtains were red. Even the bloody bedside lamp was red! It was bad enough I was here, did they have to make everything so god damn _Gryffindor?_

Sighing I plopped down onto my bed, hearing the springs creak I groaned again. I knew the entrance hall was just a show.

I heard a soft hoot and looked into the corner, hoping to see my own owl, but was disappointed to see a regular barn owl. It tilted its head and hooted softly again.

Sighing, I got up and waked over to it.

"So, what's your name then?" I asked softly. It hooted and tapped the bottom of the cage with its foot. I looked down to see a tag on the bottom. I lifted it up and read out loud.

"Candie, huh? Strange name for an owl" it looked at me, obviously offended.

"Pretty though" I told it and it gave another soft hoot.

I went over to the window and looked out; I had a view of the front of the building so I could see who was coming into Sunnybank. _That's very nice _I thought wryly_, if you have anyone coming to see you._

I looked at the alarm clock on the bedside table, it was 4.30pm. An hour and a half left until dinner.

I sighed and lay back down on my bed, doing my best to ignore the springs digging into my back. I closed my eyes and fantasised about Blaise coming to see me. He would apologise for saying we couldn't be together and tell me his life was nothing without me. I would accept his apology and tell him how well I was doing here, he would be proud of me and hug me, I would hug him back and this time when I would kiss him he would kiss me back passionately and we would have hot steamy sex right in this bed with the creaky springs so that everyone could hear it. He would hold me tightly in his muscled arms as he pounded into me and we would scream each others names out. Afterwards he would stay holding me and never let go.

It was the best fantasy ever, and as I opened my eyes and looked down at myself I saw that another part of my body agreed. _Great, _I thought,_ well I'll have to go for a shower cos I won't be able to clean up the bed without a wand._

I got up and headed for the shower, I still had an hour and I knew from the way my cock was standing up proudly and from the heat that was there, that I would barely last two minutes. I turned the shower on so it was hot and stripped off my clothes.

I stepped in and let the water wash over my body for just a second, feeling myself get even harder under the spray.

I wrapped a hand around my shaft and gripped the side of the shower stall for support, I closed my eyes and re-imagined my fantasy. I imagined that the hot water was instead the sweat from our bodies as we thrust together. I tugged downwards towards the tip and let out a small moan, in my head I could hear Blaise moan too as we went faster. I began to tug harder and squeeze at the same time and my moans became even louder and quicker. I gripped the side of the stall tighter as I thrust into my own hand and I moaned Blaise's name loudly. Pictures of him coming in me was what pushed over the edge and with one last hard tug I orgasmed in thick spurts and was left gasping for air on the floor of the shower as the electricity that had shot through my body finally died away, leaving me feeling cold and empty.

This emptiness brought me back to reality and it was a harsh reality. Blaise was never going to come here. He would never apologise. He would never want me. He thought nothing of me. I was nothing.

For the next half hour I sat under the now cold spray of the shower, shivering as it hit my head and trickled down my chest and my back. I tilted my head back and let the spray mingle with the tears running down my cheeks so I couldn't even tell which was which, and I asked myself. Who do I get better for now?

**Next chapter! And quickly this time are you proud of me? :) So as always tell me what you think, the next one might take a little while cos I'm going to have to find out how rehab actually works, I might just end up making my own version of it… xxxxxxxxx**


	16. A Familiar Face

**A Familiar Face**

The next morning I woke up at 7:30 with my alarm clock ringing persistently. I turned round in my bed and swatted in the general area in an attempt to turn it off, instead I knocked it off the dresser and onto the floor. It continued to ring.

Swearing in annoyance, I dragged myself out from under the covers and stood up. Instantly my head began to spin and it throbbed dully. Pressing it with the palm of my hand, I bent over and picked up the alarm clock, flicking the switch to turn it off.

I sighed in relief as the ringing ceased and my headache eased a little. I walked slowly into the bathroom and studied myself blearily in the mirror noticing all the signs of my withdrawal. My eyes had dark rings that made me look like a panda, my face was gaunt and instead of my once pale yet healthy skin, I was a dull shade of grey. My formerly shining silky hair was now lank and greasy from malnutrition and had grown a little past my ears. The rest of my body, I noticed when I stripped off my pyjamas, had also suffered from malnutrition. My rib cage stood out and my hip bones were a little _too_ clearly defined.

_I'm a fucking mess_, I concluded.

After having a shower, I felt slightly more awake and as I towel dried my hair I walked over to my desk and picked up my schedule for my first week and read the agenda for my first day.

_Morning:_

_8.00 – 9.00am, Breakfast_

_9.10 – 10.00am, Medical Room 1 (start detoxification process)_

_10.10 – 11.50am, Individual Therapy (Room 6)_

_12.00 – 1.00pm, Group Activities _

_Afternoon:_

_2.10 – 3.45pm, Medical Room 1_

_4.00 – 5.00pm, Group Therapy (Room 12)_

_5.10 – 6.00pm, Review (Room 6)_

My first thought was that it sounded like utter crap, what exactly did _Group Activities_ entail? And why was I going to be spending so much time in the medical room? And did they actually expect me to talk about my problems in front of a bunch of strangers? No freaking way was I going to do that.

I snorted in disdain but folded it up and dutifully stuck it in my jeans pocket. I glanced at the clock and saw it was 7.45. My hair was pretty much dry but there were a couple bits that had decided to stick up and no matter how much I combed it, they just _would not_ go right.

I chucked down the comb in anger and found myself missing my wand very much. How the hell did muggles live like this?

At five to eight I headed down to the canteen. It was a fairly large room with long benches and a few scattered tables. The room was bright, the large windows letting in the morning sunlight. My eyes immediately began to ache from the brightness. I grabbed a tray and took some toast a little pack of butter, in truth I wasn't feeling particularly hungry, but there were many adults walking around – I presumed they were the therapists and medics – who, though trying to be subtle, were conspicuously making sure everyone was eating.

I sat at a table by myself away from the light and studied the people that were here with a sort of apprehensive curiosity. At a guess there were about eighty people here and I couldn't see anyone that was my age. A few looked to be not much older, maybe in there early twenties. There was a group of guys in that age category who all looked nearly the same: tall and thickset, with hard, angry faces The four of them were going round pushing other people into walls or tables when the people in charge weren't looking then bursting into loud raucous laughter.

I made a mental note to stay _well_ away from them.

Many other people looked, in my opinion, like they'd be better off locked up in a white room with straitjackets. A woman was sitting huddled on a chair in a corner, rocking back and forth and muttering to herself, occasionally glancing around her in a paranoid way. Her brown wavy hair was knotted and greasy looking and her eyes seemed to bulge from her face in a way that could only be a consequence from years of drug abuse.

_I hope I don't look like that to everyone_, I suddenly thought in a panic as I remembered my reflection when I checked the mirror earlier.

At 9.00am I deposited my plate onto a table covered in dirty plates and cutlery and went in search of the medical room. I wandered down a corridor, following the map of Sunnybank that I had been given along with my schedule. Taking a right at the end of the corridor, I looked up and saw Medical Room 3 on a door. I walked down a bit further and looked at the sign reading Medical Room 1. Reaching out to the door handle I took a deep breath.

_This is it Draco_, I told myself, _the start of recovery_. I hesitated for another few seconds, every second I began to dread walking into the room more.

_For god's sake pull yourself together! Stop being so weak! _Straightening my shoulders, I marched into the room, pulling some of my old Malfoy swagger together in an attempt to calm myself down and look at least _slightly_ dignified.

A woman who looked to be around twenty with blonde curly hair turned around when she heard me and a sort of slightly disgusted and annoyed look crossed her face.

_Well that's highly unprofessional_, I sneered at her in my head, and raised an eyebrow at her in a way that asked 'got a problem?'

"Draco Malfoy" She said and her tone, although carefully controlled, still held a hint of disdain. "Please have a seat" She motioned to the chair a metre away from the one she was standing beside and I reluctantly obeyed. I really didn't like the way she was talking to me. Who the hell did she think she was?

She picked up a tub of medicine and sat down in her own seat looking me over before speaking.

"Well, it's been a while since I last saw you, I wondered whether you'd be coming here or not" She said to me.

My face obviously betrayed my confusion, because she gave me an exasperated look and said "St Mungos?" as though I was stupid or something.

It took a couple seconds before I remembered her as the healer from St Mungos. _The bitchy healer, _I thought angrily, _what is up with my bad luck suddenly?_

I looked at her name tag and saw her name, Shelley Pearson, printed on it. The one who I remembered my father mentioning one day to the death eaters.

I looked back up to her face and said "I remember you."

"Now, I have your medicine here. This one is just aspirin, it'll help with your headaches and withdrawal in general. It'll still hurt for the next week or so, but not as much as it would if you didn't have these." She shook the small white tub "You should take one every 5 hours, swallow it whole with a glass of water and it's usually better if you have it with a meal, so that it doesn't cause any stomach upset."

"If you overdose on it", she continued, "come here _immediately_, it can be very dangerous, got it?"

I nodded.

"Ok, start taking them at lunch today, have you got any questions about these?" She asked me, holding the tub out.

"Um, what happens if I accidentally miss a dose?" I asked, taking them from her.

"Just take one as soon as you remember or if it's closer to your next dose then just take that one, don't take two to make up for it." She paused for a second and looked me directly in the eyes "I don't think you'll want to miss one though"

I didn't imagine the smirk on her lips. This girl was getting me seriously riled up.

"Now I have to give you a body examination so could you please come and stand on these scales over here." 

I stood up apprehensively and went over to the scales. They were the sort of scales with no numbers that can be seen by the patient and is wired up to a computer so that only she would know what my weight was. She gave me an impatient look so I stepped onto them. Looking at the computer screen, then down to her clipboard she made a few notes then turned back to me.

"Ok step off the scales please and remove your shirt."

I turned to her in bewilderment. "_Excuse me?" _I asked.

She gave me a small smirk. "I need to do a body examination to see if you need any other medication." She informed me as though she was talking to a child "Now take off your top and lie down on that stretcher" She pointed across the room.

Shooting her a glare, I did as she asked and shirtless, I lay down on the stretcher. She walked over and pulled a large machine on wheels to the top of the stretcher. It was big and black and had a glass panel on the underside of it directly above my head.

"This is an X-Ray machine," she told me "It's going to scan over you to see if any of your internal organs are damaged."

_Why is she sounding excited at the prospect of my internal organs being damaged?_ This girl was honestly starting to scare me.

Before I got X-Rayed she took my heart rate and blood pressure, she picked up my arm and she slipped on the fabric she looked me up and down then muttered something that I'm pretty sure was 'different build than your father'.

Curiosity got too much for me. "What did he do?" I asked her.

She looked up at me in surprise "What do you mean?"

"You seem to really hate my father" I said "He must have done something."

She studied me for a second before sighing "Five years ago" she began "My parents and I were out in the park near our house, it was New Year's Eve and it was night time." Her eyes had a faraway look in them. "We were watching the fireworks going off, so we didn't hear them coming till they were right beside us."

"Who?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.

"Death Eaters" She spat out and glared at me. "Six of them, all had their wands pointed at us, they made me watch as they killed my parents, as _your father_ killed my parents!" She took a deep breath and wiped the angry tears that had welled up in her eyes. "I wasn't supposed to get away. It was a miracle really that one of the fireworks suddenly strayed… It crashed into the ground near us and exploded, it distracted them and I managed to run, they shot curses after me but I got into the forest at the edge of the park and lost them. I lived with my aunt for the next three years before moving out to find a place of my own."

She finished her story and avoided my eyes as she ran the back of her sleeve across her face to dry up the tears that had spilled over.

There was a few seconds of silence before I spoke.

"I'm sorry" I told her quietly "I'm really sorry that they did that to you and your parents." I hesitated before I spoke again.

I looked up at her. "I'm not my father you know, I don't want to be Death Eater and serve You-Know-Who. I'm not even a Malfoy anymore, I got disowned."

She looked up at me with confusion in her eyes, then after a second she nodded.

"You're not your father. I know that. It's just that… seeing you keeps reminding me of that night, I'm sorry I've not been very nice to you."

I nodded "it's ok" I told her "I understand".

She nodded gratefully with a small smile and there was another second or two of silence before she looked at her watch and said "I guess we need to finish up quickly here, it's nearly time for you to leave."

I let her take my blood pressure and heart rate. Whenever she spoke it was without malice and made everything a lot less tense. She then switched on the X-Ray and I lay still for a minute as a blue light emitted from the screen and scanned over my torso.

Shelley walked over and checked her computer screen.

"Well, all you're internal organs are unharmed so far so that's good. But you really need to bring your weight up because right now you are seriously underweight. You will have to eat regular meals."

She wrote some more notes on her clipboard.

"You're back here after lunch so I'll put together an eating plan for you that should get you back to being healthy and energised ok?"

"Yeah sure, that sounds great" I replied gratefully.

A bell rang to signal 10am and I pulled my shirt back on.

"Well, I guess I should go" I said, not exactly in a rush to get to my individual therapy.

Shelley nodded and smiled at me, "Yes you probably should"

I walked to the door and turned around. "Um, Shelley?" She looked up from her computer "Thanks" I said, actually meaning it.

She smiled again and replied "No problem Draco."

I exited the room, feeling a lot lighter than I had when I walked in.

**Soooo…? Did ya like? The next one is going to have some of Harry's POV as well I think, or maybe the one after that. Harry will be back soon :) xx**


	17. To Chase or To Seek

**To Chase or To Seek**

For the next hour and forty minutes I was in Individual Therapy, my therapist was a middle aged woman with long frizzy brown hair who smiled brightly at me as I reluctantly walked through the door. She stood up as I walked slowly further into the room taking in the cream coloured walls, large comfy chairs and the large black screen on the wall beside me. Everything about the room – other than the screen – was obviously designed to make the patients feel calm, the pale colours and the soft seats and the over bright smile of the therapist. I found that all of this was too deliberate and I found that I was becoming slightly irritated.

"Welcome" She glanced down at her clipboard quickly "Draco, please take a seat, it was so _wonderful_ of you to come here, my name is Suzie" She gestured to the seat opposite her, with her huge smile still fixed firmly in place and I moved to sit down, sitting up poker-straight as though there was a wooden plank lined up against my back in the chair that was supposed to relax me. Already I found that this woman was making me overly wary. I glanced around the room again looking for cameras on the ceiling. When I looked back down she was already scribbling on her clipboard.

My eyebrows furrowed in annoyance "I haven't said anything yet" I pointed out to her through clenched teeth. I wanted to know what knowledge she had supposedly gained from the ten seconds that I'd been in the room and I craned my neck to try and see the words that she was quickly jotting down. She saw my movement and turned the clipboard over in her lap then rested her elbows on the arms of the chair, linking her fingers together under her chin. She regarded me with a steady look and smiled.

"It's just general notes" She said in an overly sweet voice, "nothing for you to be worrying about".

I felt myself bristling slightly, _please let this end soon_, I begged to no one in particular.

"Now I want you to relax Draco, don't think of this as a therapy session, think of it as a chat with a friend-"

"You're not my friend" I cut in sharply my eyes narrowing at her.

Her smile faltered for a second but she placed it back on her face and gave a small chuckle of fake humour.

"Of course dear, of course, what I simply meant was that you can trust everything you say to be confidential."

To this I looked at her sceptically.

"Just between us" She said as though the reason for my scepticism was that I hadn't understood the word confidential.

"Just between us?" I asked, and then I frowned, looking at the big black screen that covered the wall from floor to ceiling. "What's that for?"

"Nothing for you to worry about Draco" She replied in a voice of forced calm. There was a moments silence as I continued to glare at the screen.

"Are you worrying Draco?" She asked me, leaning forward slightly in her chair and turning her clipboard back round, holding her pen poised.

I snorted in disdain, and didn't answer, fixing my eyes on a spot on the wall behind her. I noticed that this seemed to irk her and decided that I wouldn't answer any of her questions; she may be someone that I was supposed to be able to trust, but she definitely did not strike as a person who would keep your secrets a secret.

"Ok I'll start with some questions about you Draco" She said and looked down at her clipboard. "These questions are mostly a follow up of the questions you answered when you came here. You told Rhonda that you never actually told anyone about your addiction to drugs until they found out about it, that's correct isn't?" She paused, waiting for an answer "How did you feel about your addiction to drugs Draco? Were you ashamed about it? Is that why you didn't tell people about it?"

There was another pause as I said nothing but moved my hands onto the arms of the chair. She studied me for a second and wrote a couple of things down onto her board, increasing my annoyance with her.

"Let me ask you a different question Draco." She said "Who is it that you trust the most?" I glanced at her but said nothing.

"If you had a secret who would you be most likely to tell it to? You mother? Your father? Your best friend? A teacher? A girlfriend or boyfriend?" She looked at me expectantly noting how my fingers gripped the chair tighter at the last suggestion.

"Are you currently in a relationship Draco?" She questioned. I swallowed hard, feeling as though my throat was constricting slightly. I thought of Blaise, I had made a promise to myself to get better for him and guilt was welling up in me making it hard for me to breathe evenly. I swallowed hard again trying to figure things out in my head. _You're supposed to getting better for Blaise, you said you'd do whatever these people told you so that he would come back, _one side of me argued, but the other side argued back. _I can't tell everything to this woman, I can't trust her. And I can't talk about Blaise to her. He's none of her god damn business!_

For the rest of the therapy session ( I refused to think of it as a 'chat with a friend') I remained in stony silence, only ever clenching my fingers when she touched on a subject that I found particularly hard to think about.

At 11:50 she sighed in frustration, "Very well Draco, I hope we'll be able to make more progress tomorrow" she stood up and shook my hand "you better head off to your group activities now."

I nodded, muttered a goodbye and headed out the door, breathing a sigh of relief. Now I just had to get through Group Activities, whatever that was.

…

Group activities, I discovered, was utter bullshit. When I walked into the room there was about eleven other patients taking a seat in the large circle of chairs in the centre of the room. Nobody spoke to one another and the silence was building up a tension inside of me. I subtly looked round at the people to see if they were the feeling the same and to see in general what lunatics I would be spending the next hour with.

A couple of the people were looking extremely shifty, their eyes darting all over the room as though checking for the nearest escape route, others were sitting on their seats staring straight ahead, eyes blank and mouth hanging open looking comatose.

After a couple minutes the door behind me opened and a man who looked to be about fifty strolled calmly into the room and gave a genuine smile to all the people sitting in the circle, a smile that was completely different to the fake grin of Suzie the therapist. The man had sandy blonde hair that had flecks of grey in it and was wearing a casual blue shirt untucked with the sleeves rolled up and brown trousers. His blue eyes were warm and caring and immediately I felt slightly more relaxed and thought to myself, _maybe there's someone here that I could actually trust._

"Good afternoon everyone, my name is George" he began "It's lovely to see that everyone's turned up today, now we're just going to start with everyone saying their name and a little bit about themselves, any random fact at all, it doesn't have to be personal if you don't want it to be" he told us all reassuringly, noticing that a couple people, myself included, had shifted uncomfortably.

"So… let's start at this side" he said pointing to the woman who was sitting beside him, one of the seemingly comatose patients. She looked at him in confusion for a second as she realised she had been addressed by George and blinked once. George gave her a friendly smile then explained to her "Stand up and tell us your name and one random fact about yourself, anything at all."

The woman nodded and stood up, and I realised then that she was actually a lot younger than she looked; at first I had thought she was about forty but looking at her more closely she only seemed to be about twenty years old, years of drug abuse had taken a serious toll on her.

"M-my name i-is Leanne" She gulped nervously with all the eyes that were on her and looked down at the floor "and I, I used to be a successful quidditch player for the Hol -Hollyhead H-Harpies" She sat quickly back down with a look of fright on her face.

The patients stood up one by one introducing themselves and sharing a piece of information about themselves that I honestly couldn't give a shit about, I didn't want to get to know these people at all, and I didn't want them to know anything about me.

So when it came round to me I simply stood up and said "My name is Draco, and I don't want to tell you anything about me."

A couple of the people glared at me and half of the people were too out of it to care that I hadn't done it properly. I glanced up at George and noticed he was looking at me with a mixture of curiosity and disappointment. I dropped my gaze to the floor and squirmed slightly in my seat. The other people finished telling their names and facts and George clapped his hands together.

"Well done everyone" He announced "We're going to do some activities now. I believe that sport is a good way of keeping both the body and the mind healthy and is a good way to ease tension so we're going to head outside since it's such a lovely day and we're going to be playing a muggle sport called basketball! Has anyone here heard of it?" He looked round and a couple of people raised their hands, he smiled and nodded at them "Lovely! You'll be able to keep us in line if we go wrong then" he grinned at them. "Everyone follow me" he said and began leading us out the door and into the grounds.

When we stepped out the back door it was like entering another world, out of the dimly lit rooms of Sunnybank, the sun was shining casting a bright beam of light over the vast grassy area that was the back garden. I hadn't realised how large Sunnybank was, past the grass I could see a concrete area that had markings on the ground. We walked over there and stepped onto the ground which was large and rectangular. There were two tall poles with baskets on the top opposite each other and I saw that lines were dividing up areas of the ground.

George explained the rules of basketball to us and then put us into two teams; one team wearing red bibs and my team wearing green. _Gryffindor and Slytherin,_ I thought wryly. We were given trainers to wear and we were each given a position. To me the entire thing was ridiculous, where were the broomsticks and why was there only one ball? What was everyone supposed to do with one ball?

George blew the whistle and we began to play, my team started with the ball and my teammate who I didn't know the name of since I hadn't been listening earlier began to bounce the ball towards the opposite goal only to be intercepted by one of the other teams players who managed to bounce the ball away and throw it to another one of his team who ran up the pitch dodging a couple of my team before managing to jump and throw the ball into the net. The entire team cheered and patted the guy on the back congratulating him. And then the whole process started again. I mainly stood in the middle for most of the game not wanting to participate in a muggle sport and get involved with all these people so I simply drifted about aimlessly watching in disinterest as they bounced the ball, lobbing it towards the nets and cheering, awing and booing in the appropriate places all of them getting in to the game. I could tell George was watching me, probably as frustrated with me as Suzie was for not being as easily lead into doing what they wanted me to, so I deliberately ignored him and tried to focus on the game happening around me.

My team had possession of the ball, one of the guys on my team was bouncing it when a member of the other team blocked him, he tried to move past but the girl kept moving into his way trying to grab the ball out of his hands. With nowhere to go the guy threw the ball into the air and I watched as it headed straight for me. Without even thinking I reached up and caught it deftly I looked around, suddenly lost for a second, but when I saw the red team all hurrying towards me my mind suddenly shifted and instead I imagined myself on the quidditch pitch and instead of patients running at me I imagined the Gryffindor team racing at me on broomsticks. I began to bounce the ball running towards the net, though in my head I was back on my nimbus 2001 weaving through the Gryffindors and heading towards the hoop to score a goal that would put Slytherin in the lead. I was at the opposite end that I needed to be at the run to the other hoop was long as I dodged and ducked the people and hands that were trying to grab the ball away from me, but they would never get it from me. I ran with a speed I completely forgot I had and a freedom I forgot existed. I was getting closer to the hoop I was only about 10 metres from it now when a man suddenly appeared in front of me. Not even thinking about it I threw the ball into the air and time seemed to stand still as I watched it soar towards the hoop. Everyone else stopped as it seemed to spin in slow motion before falling straight through the net. My team cheered and clapped me on the back congratulating me and whooping as our team won and the whistle blew. I felt as though I had accomplished something that I never had at Hogwarts. I beat Gryffindor. For the first time since I got there, I felt good. Really good, and I thought to myself what it would be like to be a chaser instead of a seeker in quidditch.

I looked over at George as the people began to take off their bibs and trainers, he was watching me grinning, as our eyes connected he gave me a thumbs up and in return, I smiled.

**So you're probably all wanting to kill me for not updating in so long… I can't believe I left it for soooo long! I don't even have an excuse for it. But I realised that I had promised that I would finish my stories and hopefully I'm going to be getting back on track with them. As always please review and I hope you like it xxxxxxxxxxx**


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Harry Potter, Angst, Drama