Naruto 1. Shino's club

AOU: I probably won't download Konoha and Sand Shinobi until tomorrow so just hang in there, please!

Sasuke: Another new story...yay...

AOU: The first chapter stars...

Shino: me

AOU:...uh, right!

Disclaimer: Alchemist of Uchiha does not own Naruto. At all.

AOU: Now that that's out of the way, let's just get on, shall we?

FIC START

It was a nice day in Konoha and Aburame Shino was just taking a walk through a jolly little forest when he decided, that, rather out of the blue, he should really have something to do other than collecting bugs. Soon, he would collect the entire population of Konoha bugs and he'll be bored again unless he releases all the collected bugs and re-collect. But that' s just a stupid idea.

"Maybe I should join a club." He thought to himself, shrugging. "Or maybe not." He did eeny-meeny-miney-moe and ended up with 'join a club.'

So he walked around for a little while and saw Lee, sitting on a rock and pulling petals of a flower. "She loves me, she loves me not. She loves me, she loves me not..."

Shino decided to just get this over with. "Lee." He said stoically. Lee jumped off the rock immediatly. "Shino! What's the matter? Is it Sakura-san? Was she kidnapped by random Amegakure no Sato shinobi? Oh my dear lord!" Lee slapped his cheeks dramatically and gave a loud 'NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" of dispair.

Shino sweatdropped. "Uh...no. I was just wondering whether you knew a club I could join."

"A club?" That piqued Lee's interest. "Of course I know a club! I know a 'Love-Gai club', a 'Eat-Brownies-till-you-explode club', a 'Karate-club' and a 'Laugh-club'! Which do you want to join?"

Shino just gave him a blank stare, then poofed away. Well, it wasn't a poof. It was actually a BZZ, cause he poofed away using a cloud of kikkai bugs. Lee coughed as some of the bugs went up his nose and mouth, because he had been opening his mouth stupidly at the time. _He should really stop doing that. _Lee thought sadly to himself.

Shino mentally slapped himself for being so stupid he asked LEE of all people for help. He spotted Tenten sitting at the Survivor's Training grounds with Neji and he walked over to them, calling out, "Neji. Tenten." The two looked up. Neji looked annoyed and Tenten was just...blank.

"What?" Tenten asked, flipping out a kunai and began twirling it around and around on her finger.

"Do you know a club I could join?" Shino asked, cutting right down to the chase. Neji looked, if possible, even more annoyed.

"You interrupt our training for a question as stupid as THAT?" He exclaimed, about to give Shino the Jyuuken of the century when he remembered the bug problem. So, he slowly put his hand down, upset that he couldn't give Shino the Jyuuken of the century because of a few billion stupid bugs.

"Um...I'm in the Weapon-Lovers Kunoichi guild." shrugged Tenten. "But you have to be a girl to join."

"I'm in the Byakugan Guild but you have to be Hyuuga to join." Neji said loftily. Tenten grinned dopily at him. "What about the latter guild?"

Neji glared at her. "Don't say a word." He snarled, battle aura flaring. Shino's interest was piqued. "What?" He asked.

"Neji's in the I-Love-Bunnies guild!" Tenten managed to choke out in a coughing fit. Neji started chasing her and Shino just laughed on the inside. But he didn't laugh on the outside for some strange reason I shall not tell you. Well, Shino didn't tell me so I don't really know either.

Shino left the Training Grounds where Neji was still chasing Tenten around in circles and went to the ramen shop. He found Sakura, Sasuke and Naruto there. Naruto was wolfing down ramen like there was no tomorrow, Sakura was drinking water and Sasuke was just sitting there, inspecting a mission report thing they had to hand in. "Hey, Naruto, you made a typo here, here, here, here, here and there." Sasuke said, pointing out the mistakes to the careless blonde.

"Ah, whatever." Naruto said, starting to drink the soup of the ramen. Shino entered at that moment.

"Do you guys know if there's a club I can join?" He asked. Sakura shook her head. Sasuke thought for a moment. "Do you have a family."

"...Yes."

"Oh. Too bad." Sasuke shrugged and went back to his inspection.

"Ramen lover!" Naruto laughed maniacally, muttering something like, "Ramen ducks will someday rule the world!"

Shino knew he wouldn't get much help out of here so there was only one hope left!

Kiba.

He knocked on Kiba's door and heard many barking and many voices yelling, 'Shh! Shh! Shh!" Shino was wondering whether it was a bad time and whether he ought to leave. He was about to BZZ away when Kiba opened the door. His hair was all over the place and Akamaru was sitting loyally on his head. "Oh, hey, Shino!" He waved.

"Kiba." He paused dramatically. "Do you know a club that I can be in?"

"A club?" Kiba looked blank for a minute, then brightened. "Sure! I know one! Meet me here at 5:00. Kay? Kay. Bye!" He slammed the door in Shino's face without even waiting for a response. Shino seriously doubted whether Kiba was a good idea but he decided to just stare there until 5:00

(5:00)

Kiba came out and laughed, "Hey, Shino! Why didn't you leave?"

"...There was nothing else to do." Shino shrugged. Kiba shrugged too, then dragged Shino off to the meeting club area.

Everybody there had a sort of animal. Rabbits, dogs, cats, wolves, snakes, mini-dragons, foxes, crows and more. Shino wondered what club this was and as if Kiba read his thoughts, he exclaimed, "The Animal Lovers club!"

Shino frowned.

"WE HAVE A NEW MEMBER WITH US TODAY!" shouted a very over-enthusiastic voice on the stage. Some guy in a tuxedo walked upstage with a snowy owl perched on his shoulder. "HIS NAME IS ABURAME SHINO! AND HE IS FRIENDS WITH INUZUKA KIBA!"

"Yay!" Everybody in the room started clapping. Shino didn't move. Kiba was laughing his head off as he drank from a bottle of root beer. Akamaru barked happily. Okay...This was odd.

"NOW, LET'S BEGIN THE MEETING! SHINO, COME UP HERE AND TELL US A BIT ABOUT YOURSELF!"

Shino went upstage and cleared his throat. "My name is...Aburame Shino." Silence. "I like bugs." Everybody started clapping and some random guy yelled, 'Show us your bugs!'

He heard Kiba vaguely start saying "Don't do it, Shino! You'll scare the hell out of 'em!" But it was too late. Shino extended his arms and kikkai bugs flew out from under his sleeves. Kiba muttered something then dashed out, Akamaru behind him.

Everybody screamed then dashed out after Kiba. "UH...LATER, FOLKS!" Shouted the tuxedo man as he ran away. Shino didn't move. He frowned sadly.

That's why he hated clubs.

AOU: More next time! I don't know, these things are just random little ideas!

Sasuke: you're starting to like Shino for some reason

AOU: I dunno. Anyway, review please! Ja!


	2. Shino's club 2

A/N: OMG, I can't believe, once more, how badly written the second chapter of this story is. Not only did I so not continue, but I did not do a good job of it either! So I'll just continue from the first chapter...and change the story's summary. Yeah. Good idea. CHAPTER TWO: SHINO'S CLUB PT. II

After a very bad experience at the 'I-love-animals' club, Shino decided rather sadly that he should go and ask someone else! After all, there's billions of people in Konoha and at least ONE person must know of an interesting club he can join. Of course.

So, Shino began to walk about and talk to people as he did. The first person he met was Sasuke, who was just standing there, looking bored.

"Sasuke," Shino said stoically. "What are you doing?"

Sasuke kinda stared at him. "I'm waiting for Kakashi. He asked me to wait for him here like, 4 hours ago."

"Oh, that's too bad." Shino said, in a voice signifying he couldn't care less. "Well, I have to ask you the same question I asked you yesterday."

Sasuke kinda stared at him for a few minutes before he remembered. "Oh! I remember! That club thing, right?"

Shino nodded. "Yes. I did not find a good club to join yesterday."

"Oh, that's too bad." the Uchiha said in a voice signifying he couldn't care less. "Well then, maybe you can NOT ask me? I mean, there's billions of people in Konoha and at least ONE person must know of an interesting club you can join, Shino. What do you like?"

Shino pondered for a moment before replying. "Bugs." Duh.

Sasuke's face fell. "Well, that's too bad." He stuffed his hands into his pockets, not wanting to say that he was, in fact, TERRIFIED of the little critters because then Shino would just make fun of him. "I don't know of a club that likes BUGS. Maybe Lee does. I saw him staring at a beetle yesterday after training."

"I shall do that." And with that, Shino poofed away.

AFTERWARDS... Shino met Lee at the Survivor's Training Grounds and saw Lee kicking a log while repeating to himself. "If I don't kick this log 1000 times, I will have to run 2000 laps around Konoha!"

Shino kinda watched him for a while before Lee finally stopped kicking, jumped up and a wave crashed behind him. "Yes! I kicked this log not 1000 times, not 1001 times but 1002 times! A new record!" After a few seconds, Lee noticed Shino standing there and asked him, since that was the polite thing to do."What are you doing? Aren't you at a club?"

Shino stared at him. "If I'm not at a club, you can safely assume I did not find a good club to join."

Lee laughed heartily. "Yes! Of course! I'm such a fool!" Shino figured it wouldn't be very nice of him to point out that he was indeed a FOOL so he just kept his mouth shut.

"Sasuke said he saw you looking at a bug the other day. Do you know of a club that likes bugs?" Shino was hoping Lee would say yes. He couldn't stand another dreary day collecting bugs only to release them so he has more to collect later on in the year. Or his life. Yes, his life.

Lee pondered for a second. "OH! I remember now! Haw haw, Sasuke-kun is so ridiculous! I was just looking at that beetle because I was trying to shoo it away! I wouldn't want to kill a bug while I'm kicking a log! Not only is that kinda disgusting but it's mean and I'm positive you would come and beat me up if you knew about that! haw haw haw!"

Shino didn't reply. "I..see..well? Do you have a club you know of?"

Lee pondered again. "Hmm...it depends...well, I think I do know of a club! Hmm...yes...it's called the Mushi club!" (Mushi means bug)

Shino would've grinned but he didn't because then he probably would've freaked Lee out. "I see, thank you Lee."

And with that, he poofed away. "Your welcome, Shi-" He broke off, spluttering, as bugs flew into his mouth. _I'm going to choke one day on this..._Lee thought sadly.

**AFTERWARDS...**

Shino walked into the big, tall building that was the so-called Mushi club. "SHINO!" Shino whipped around in surprise to see Naruto, of all people, standing at the doorway.

Shino furrowed his brows as he walked towards him. "Naruto. What are you doing here?" He asked, stoic as ever.

Naruto laughed heartily. "Haw haw haw, Shino, you're so silly! I'm participating in the Mushi club!"

Shino felt VERY uneasy at this but said nothing. Together with Naruto, they walked into the great hall place and watched as a tall man in a wetsuit walk forwards. He pressed a button and a giant tomato fell in the middle of the hall.

"MUSH!" He yelled, waving his hands about.

Shino watched in amazement as several people, including Naruto, rushed forwards and began effectively pummeling at the giant tomato until it turned to Mush.

_Lee...you bum..._


	3. Hinata: Pen Pal

A/N: No one reviewed my revised Shino's Club Part 2 chapter! Oh, sorrow! But then again, reading about Shino, like, TWICE is really kinda annoying. So here are some presents! This chapter is so NOT about Shino! Instead, it's about our dear little friend Hinata. Of course, the next chapter is also about Hinata, maybe. Or Kiba, perhaps. Or heck, even Neji or Hanabi! Anyway, HAPPY NEW YEAR! IT'S NOW THE DOG YEAR! OMFG!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Duh.

Hinata: Pen Pal

I bet you all never knew this, but Hinata has a pen pal! Since she isn't really much of a ninja and her father constantly trains her younger sister instead of her, she can't spend her free time JUST stalking Naruto and enjoying the fine day with Kiba and Shino. Of course. So she has a pen pal! Not just ANY pen pal though. A pen pal from the DOG COUNTRY! 'If there's a BIRD country, why can't there be a DOG country?' was most likely the thought process of the founder at the time. Of course. Haw haw.

No one in their right mind would name their country the DOG country but I suppose the founder must've been very giddy at the time and decided not to dwell in his right mind. Anyway, I bet you guys all never knew this either, but KIDOUMARU from the Sound Five ALSO came from the Dog Country. After all, such an odd-looking guy could never come from a NORMAL country, right?

So Hinata's pen pal was one of those little odd-balls. Of course, it wasn't KIDOUMARU, since Neji had effectively and efficiently pummelled Kidoumaru by now and Kidoumaru was just some sort of name to scare little kids to sleep. It didn't work as well as the name 'ITACHI' or 'OROCHIMARU' but it worked well enough.

Hinata was just sitting about one day, when she remembered that she didn't write a letter to her pen pal for like, TEN MILLION YEARS! Of course, ten million years was merely an exaggeration to show you the ungodly amount of time in which Hinata ignored her pen pal. So, taking a piece of parchment, she got up from her chair and walked all the way to her Writing Desk that Hiashi had built for her and she dipped her pen into her inkpot. She paused.

How should she write this? Hinata began to panic slightly. It's not as if she really knew if her pen pal was a man or a woman. Heck, she didn't even really know his NAME! All she knew is that it started with a B. Barry? Barly? Benna? TOO MANY CHOICES! So she just wrote, "Mr. B."

But what if her pen pal was a woman? That would be embarassing! So she scratched out the 'Mr.' and paused. Finally she just put in 'Friend'. Hinata paused again. It sounded weird to refer to her pen pal as 'Friend B.' Maybe she should show him she had a sense of humor by calling her pen pal 'B-B gun'. But that would be mean to make fun of someone's name like that.

SO MUCH CHOICES!

Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?" Hinata asked

"It's me." Her lil sister, Hanabi, came in with a little envelope in her hand. "It's from this person from the Dog Country." Hanabi informed Hinata. Hinata took the letter away from her lil sister and Hanabi sort of left the room. She needed to train with Hiashi.

Hinata opened the envelope and read,

_Dear Hinata,_

_Hi, it's me, Bakamaru, your pen pal from the Dog Country. Well, I was thinking about us being pen pals and all and I was seriously beginning to doubt whether or not I was in my sane mind when I signed up for that 'Friends over Seas' campaign because I honestly don't want a pen pal. At all. No offence or anything. Actually, yeah, offence. Anyway, I just wanted to say that YOU SUCK, LOSER, and I don't want to be your pen pal anymore._

_ Yours sincerely, Bakamaru_

Hinata kind of crunched up the letter and put it in her garbage can. Taking her piece of parchment she crunched THAT up too and sort of tossed it away. Lying down on her bed, she happened to catch a glimpse of the calender on her bedside counter. Oh no! She had asked Ino and Sakura to go shopping with her that very afternoon! Hurriedly putting on a brand new hoodie and her shoes, she charged out of the house, putting Bakamaru completly out of her head.


End file.

Naruto, Humor