Teen Titans 1. Divide and Conquer

Season 1, Episode 1

**See, Hear, Speak**

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Punch. Contact between my fist and the leather. Recoil, pushing my hand back. Subtle vibrations, up the bones in my forearm and shoulder. Brief sensation of pain.

Before the punching bag can swing back, I hit it again.

Jab, then sidearm. Uppercut. Break the rhythm- left hook, then another jab. Jump, spin, kick- one move, without stopping.

_I didn't do anything wrong._

My knuckles burn. I lean forward, hands on my knees as I take in gulps of air. The bag lazily drifts to a standstill. Sweat is stinging my eyes.

_It's on him. It's all on him._

I stand straighter. I'm ready to keep going.

_Maybe we're better off without him._

One step brings me back. My fist is in the air, but I hesitate.

_It's not my fault._

The room is silent. I can't bring my hand forward. The bag looks like it hasn't even been touched- as if for all this time, for all this work, nothing's really changed.

I slowly let my arm fall. My eyes still hurt. I try to blink out the sweat.

It's been a while since I've talked, so my voice is rough. Quiet. "I'm sorry."

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Thing about sound, it echoes. The important stuff seems to bounce around more, ya know? Even when ya wish it wouldn't, 's got a way of gettin' louder an' louder.

I said two words a few hours back, an' I can still hear 'em.

Some kid brushes past. I'm starin' at the ground, only lookin' up so I don't run into a wall or nothin'. Haven't been to this part of Jump before- don't really know where I'm headed.

"Hey, I know you!"

The kid stopped- now she's waitin' for me to say somethin'. I turn enough to see her face, an' it lights up, that kinda happy only kids got figured out.

Aw, great. Fans.

"You're Cyborg, right?" Man, I am _so_ not in the mood for this.

I shrug. "Not today, kid."

She frowns. "Whaddya mean?"

I don't even know how to start. "Look, uh... I'm not gonna be doin' Titans stuff for a while."

S'like I just told her Santa's not real. I swear she's gonna cry- her shoulders bunch up, an' she blinks, an' I'm feelin' like the worst criminal in the city right now- so I hurry an' keep talkin'. "It's just, I gotta do some recon, y'know? I guess you could say I'm lookin' for my next mission."

Hey, it's sorta true. Besides, ain't no way I'm gonna tell her I left for good.

She sniffs, lookin' kinda confused, an' maybe she doesn't know what all that meant, but it seems to calm her down, so I give her a smile. "You like the Titans, huh?"

Another grin breaks out, an' she nods. "Yeah! They're the best!"

Can't lie, the way her voice squeaks at the end is pretty adorable. Man, I'm feelin' even worse about all this. I look back behind me, at... wherever I was gonna go. "Hey, kid," I say absently. "Whaddya think the Titans are all about?"

Don't really know if I'm expectin' an answer. I was kinda thinkin' out loud, but I don't know about what. Maybe I'm thinkin' about trust, or respect or teamwork or somethin' like that. Pretty abstract stuff.

It's a while before I hear her. "I don't know," she says brightly.

Well, that's what I get for askin' a little kid.

But she keeps goin'. "You're all totally different. It's kinda weird." For a sec, I picture Beast Boy, an' _kinda weird_ seems to fit just right.

She looks down, probably thinkin', then smiles again. "But you guys help people all the time. That's really cool!"

...Huh. Ain't that somethin'.

"That's what I wanna do," she says. "I wanna be a superhero like the Titans!"

Somethin' beeps on my arm. I look down, an' the screen spells out TITANS ALERT.

The echoes from 'I quit' are still loud, but I can't hear 'em over the communicator.

I look back up. "That's really great, kid," I say quietly. "Don't ever lose sight of that, y'hear?"

She nods, with that same big smile on her face. I take a deep breath.

S'time to make things right.

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So here's the deal, guys. I have a confession to make.

I've been a 'fan' of Teen Titans for a while. I hesitate to say _fan_ because I haven't actually seen the show, outside of a few random episodes (I think the one where Beast Boy becomes the Beast, and maybe a couple others). But I obviously like the characters- I finished a story (Flux) with them, for crying out loud. I've been able to learn a lot just from reading other people's stories here on Fanfiction, and also by looking stuff up online.

However.

I have the opportunity to watch the show now. I'm talking the whole thing. All the episodes. And I'm really excited.

I've actually gotten through four episodes already- I just watched the one with Thunder and Lightning- but the idea occurred to me that I could write **a oneshot for each episode.** This way, not only would I get a lot more practice with writing these characters, but I'll also be able to develop some ideas and plot points that stick out to me as I'm watching the show. Plus, since I really don't know where the series goes as a whole, you guys will be able to watch a complete noob slowly get sucked into the mythos of Teen Titans, and maybe I'll chat about the episode in an Author's Note at the end.

Also, I think it will be fun.

So yeah- after every episode, I won't let myself watch another until I've written the chapter. That should put us at 65 chapters. But I hear there's a movie, too, so if I'm able to watch that, who knows?

What to expect in terms of genre? Honestly, I have no idea. I'm told that the show is split into serious and funny episodes, so in keeping with the spirit of the thing, I'll probably try to make the goofy episodes into goofy oneshots. The serious ones could go any direction- angst, action, romance, friendship stuff, I don't know.

One last thing- perspectives might go all over the place. First person, third, and as many different characters as I want- I don't know, it'll probably all get thrown in there. We'll see what happens.

Have fun, everybody.


	2. Sisters

Season 1, Episode 2

**Keeper**

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"Ow! What the-" Robin slammed into the floor of the warehouse. Sitting up gingerly, he rubbed his forehead. "What was that for?"

"Hm?" Blackfire turned, keeping an eye on the door. "Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to drop you. Now let's go- the song's almost over."

She grabbed at his shoulder again, but Robin stood up quickly. "Hold on."

Smirking, she hovered back a few feet. "Aw, what's the matter?"

He tried to ignore the condescending tone. "Look, I think something's wrong with Starfire."

_"I'll_ say." Blackfire laughed, neatly twirling in the air. "Girl doesn't know how to have fun."

"No, I mean-" Frustrated, Robin glanced back up to the skylight. "I need to talk to her."

She played with a strand of her neon pink hair. "But the song's _almost over_," she whined, biting her lip.

"You go ahead. Have a good time, even." Robin took a few steps toward the stairway. "I'm gonna-"

She was in front of him.

Robin blinked. How had she moved that fast?

"Don't you get it, hero boy?" Blackfire's voice was suddenly darker, more confident than before. "I want to have a good time with _you_." She gently cupped a hand to his face, smiling. "Now let's go back in there, and I'll show you how we dance on Tamaran."

...

Robin would take her hand away, and calmly refuse. He'd tell her that this was just some party, and it wasn't important, and right now Starfire needed his help. He'd do the right thing, what a _Titan_ should do, but first-

First he hesitated. Just for a second. And in that moment, that brief window of time, he saw Blackfire's eyes, deep and knowing and somehow mocking.

"Sorry." His voice was shaking- he knew it. Blackfire heard it, too, and her smile grew. "Not really in a party mood anymore."

He tried to brush her hand away, and she seized the chance to interlock her fingers with his. "Starfire's a big girl, you know," she said. "She can take care of herself."

"Well- well, yeah, but-"

She floated over to the door, glancing towards the flashing lights coming through from the other side. "Ugh, let's just _go_," she complained. "I'm tired of arguing about it. Let's have some fun already."

Robin pulled away. "No."

Pausing, Blackfire turned back. "What?"

He took a deep breath, standing a little straighter. "Listen, this party- who really cares? The lights, the dancing, the music... It's all gone after tonight. Yeah, it's fun, but it doesn't matter."

"And what does?" Blackfire crossed her arms, levitating higher. "What matters, hero? Your team?"

He scowled. "Yeah. Yeah, it does. And right now, I need to talk to Star."

"_Ugh_." She leaned back in the air, floating on nothing. "I swear, I love my kid sister and all, but sometimes she's a stick in the mud, you know?"

Robin frowned, about to argue, but she held up her hand. "No, no, it's fine. Go take care of your princess," she said in mock concern. "I'm sure she _really_ needs help with whatever Earth custom has her baffled this time."

"The problem isn't Earth," he blurted out. "It's you."

Silence. Blackfire softly descended, coming to rest at Robin's eye level. She looked... intrigued. Not shocked, or angry, or even confused. Her eyes shone, and when she spoke, she sounded amused. "Really?"

"...She looks up to you, you know." Blackfire nodded, as if it didn't affect her at all. Robin gritted his teeth. "You've practically ignored her the whole time you've been here, and she _still_ wants to be like you. She's worried because she's not good at video games, or combat, or all the other stuff you've been doing, and that's ridiculous but it's tearing her up."

"I'm hurt. Truly, I am."

Ignoring the sarcasm, he pointed to the skylight. "And I don't need any of the Titans trying to be someone they're not. She doesn't need to act like you, but she thinks she does, so _I'm going to talk to her."_

Blackfire slowly clapped. "Absolutely inspiring, fearless leader."

For a second, Robin just stared. "Why am I still here?" He placed a hand on one of the railings, glancing up the stairs.

"Wait."

He growled, but turned around. Blackfire looked more serious, standing on the ground with only a faint smile. "You seriously aren't going to ask?"

"...Ask what?"

She giggled. "Honestly, it should be obvious." Seeing his blank stare, she sighed. "You're supposed to ask why I act like this. Why I'm just showing up, out of nowhere, and messing with Starfire's life."

There was no sarcasm, no deception in her voice. Robin narrowed his eyes. "Well, if you're so eager to tell me, why not?"

Blackfire took a step closer. "She doesn't get it, Robin. Being _me_, it has nothing to do with my looks. It's not even about skills, or the things I can do."

She tapped the side of her head. "It's all attitude. I'm gonna take what I want, whenever I can. That's all- like I said, I'm just looking for a good time."

Pausing, she glanced up to the skylight. "I'm trying to teach her. Life is tough, and complicated, but the galaxy is huge. You can find whatever you want, if you look hard enough. Gotta take the chances you get. It's that simple."

Blackfire looked back down, smirking again. "One night, hero. The dance floor doesn't care if you're wearing a cape. Just enjoy yourself."

The hesitation returned. It... it did make some sense, didn't it? The Titans always gave their all for the city- didn't he deserve this?

Robin shook his head. But that was just it, in the end. The Titans gave their all. Always. "Sorry," he said again. "I live by a different code." He started back up the stairs, to Starfire.

And that's when Cyborg crashed through the wall.

...

It took Robin a few seconds to process this.

He rushed to his friend, skidding to a stop next to Cyborg's outstretched arms. "What's going on?" he demanded.

"Remember that thing that attacked Star?"

Robin could swear his heart jumped into his throat.

Cyborg glared up at the windows. "It had friends."

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**You guys, I am _loving_ this show.**


	3. Final Exam

Season 1, Episode 3

**Extraordinary**

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The boy glowered.

For all the hype about this place, for all the geniuses who'd come through this hallway, for all the schemes he'd been promised... they still had _lockers_. Old lockers. Ancient, run-down, rusted lockers that, of course, had the locks just a little too high. And they called themselves an academy.

The snot-dripping losers.

He made sure no one was watching, then tried again. Struggling, lifting on his toes, straining his arm as high as it would go- the metal combination lock was still barely out of his reach.

_Metal_. He gave up, glaring at the rows of dark lockers that extended on both sides of the hall. They were all metal, all simple machines- he could tear them apart, if he wanted. In a minute. Easy.

If, you know, he could reach the lock.

With a groan, he let his head fall against the steel door. The books and schedules, along with whatever else he'd need for classes, had been stashed in the lockers by the professors before orientation. The other first-year students had already grabbed everything. It was gonna be a long day.

"So, what's your deal?"

The question sounded from behind him, sending his mind racing. Deep voice. Loud, brash, without any tremor or hint of nerves. Probably some crud-sniffing jock who'd already been here for years.

"M'talkin' to you, Tiny." He looked over his shoulder to see a gorilla. Wait, that couldn't be right. A disfigured lion, maybe, brought in as a demonstration for Chemical Mutations class?

The boy blinked. "Deal?"

"Yeah. First day, right?" The creature grinned, cracking his knuckles. "Me, too."

No way. A student? A _new_ student? The boy gaped, lost for words. This thing- a smiling, hulking mass of muscle and wild orange hair- had to be lying. "Name's Mammoth," he continued. "Everybody who gets into Hive has some kinda deal. Call it potential, call it superpowers, whatever. Stuff nobody else can do. So what's yours?"

Before he could answer, Mammoth snapped his fingers. "Wait, I know." He squinted, tilting his head to one side. "I'd say... radioactive rat."

Apparently delighted by his own joke, he burst out laughing. The boy tried to keep his face from turning bright red, turning and making his way down the hall. A rough hand clapped his shoulder, stopping him. "Hey, come on," the voice rumbled. "What's your deal, little guy?"

The stupid _names_. He hissed, taking a wild swing at the hand. "What's it to ya, scud-muncher?" he yelled.

Mammoth stepped back, barely noticing the smaller boy's fist as it bounced off his wrist. His smile vanished. "All right, you wanna start somethin', huh?" He threw a gigantic hand forward, shoving the kid back.

He stumbled back into the lockers, and his head slammed against one of the doors painfully. Wincing, he looked up, only to see Mammoth cracking his knuckles. "Wanna know my deal?"

The punch was slow, easy enough to dodge. He ducked out of the way, briefly wondering if Mammoth even meant to hit him-

One of the lockers seemed to implode. The boy stared as Mammoth brought his hand away- the whole door had bent inward, but twisted, dented metal outlined the gaping hole in the center. "Super-strength," he growled, rolling his shoulder and raising his fist again.

With a start, the boy scrambled away, staring up at the other row of lockers. He thought furiously, trying to come up with some kind of plan, but Mammoth was already marching towards him. "Just gonna keep runnin', little rat?" he called with a grin.

He dived to the side as Mammoth's fist collided with another locker. This time, the lock itself bore the brunt of the attack- the rusted metal device clanged to the floor, damaged beyond repair. Something about it caught his eye, but once again, Mammoth turned and fixed his gaze on him.

The boy stood, ready to run again, but part of his mind was noticing the details of the scene around him. He'd have to stop the snot-eater's punches somehow, but he didn't have anything useful with him. His stuff was in his locker, but the lock was too high, and-

The lock. Partially destroyed.

He darted back to one of the wrecked lockers, snatching up the remnants of the lock. No time to build anything. But his dextrous fingers, scanning the device for anything useful, happened upon something sticking out the back.

Grinning, he found what he needed. Broken machines led to spare parts.

Damaged locks led to loose screws.

He'd barely slipped the small metal shard between his fingers when Mammoth approached, swinging his fist forward yet again. This time, the boy raised his own fist to meet it, a single screw sticking out.

The punch still hurt. His hand stung, but hearing Mammoth's high-pitched yelp of pain was worth it.

"AAAGH! YOU LITTLE-" The bigger boy reeled back, clutching his injured hand to his chest and glaring. A deep growl built up slowly, and Mammoth slammed a fist into the lockers behind him. "That's it, Tiny!" he bellowed. "You're dead!"

The boy took a few steps back, keeping the screw hidden in his fist. His foot collided with something, and he realized he'd backed up right against the door of a teacher's office.

Mammoth leaned back, steadying himself for an even bigger punch. The boy tensed, preparing to simply duck and hope for the best.

The door opened.

The larger boy froze, completely silent as a woman dressed in a dark gray suit stepped out of the room. Clipboard in hand ,she glanced up at Mammoth, apparently disinterested. Her eyes swept over the wreckage of the individual lockers.

"Detention," she uttered in a monotone.

Mammoth didn't even try to argue, but he looked at his upraised fist as if he'd never seen it before. The woman walked briskly down the hall, and after scowling at the smaller student, Mammoth followed.

...The boy rubbed his face.

Had all of that really just happened?

"Whoa, weird." A soft, mysterious voice floated down to him. "I mean, what are the chances, right?"

He looked up to see a girl, lounging on top of one of the rows of lockers. Her pink hair stuck up in two directions, her pale skin almost seemed to glow, and her posture, lying on her side while propping up her head with an elbow, suggested that she'd been watching the whole fight with only passing interest.

"He ends up right in front of her door," she said thoughtfully. "And when she's about to leave, too. How's that for some rotten luck?"

Her smile gave the boy the creeps.

When he didn't say anything, the girl sighed and sat up, dangling her legs over the side. "Neat trick, by the way."

Still guarded, he frowned. "What trick?"

"The screw." She braced her arms against the top of the locker, then launched forward, spinning in the air and landing with a graceful handstand. Deftly pushing off the ground, she twirled again and ended up perfectly balanced on her feet. Now directly in front of the boy, she placed her hands on her hips. "I sure wouldn't have thought of that."

He blinked. She was... just talking to him. She didn't bend down to try to meet his eye level, and she didn't change the way she was talking at all. "Most people wouldn't even notice a screw," she continued. "They're small, you know? Might get overlooked."

She raised her eyebrows. "I guess it's the small things that can take you by surprise."

In spite of himself, the boy grinned.

The girl held out her hand. "I'm Jinx," she said brightly. "New student."

"Uh, yeah. I'm new, too."

He cautiously shook Jinx's hand, and she laughed. "Well, what's your name?"

The boy bristled, turning slightly. "Why does everyone need ta know all about me?" he muttered.

"Oh, I don't mean your _real_ name!" Jinx smiled again. "You're at the Hive Academy now. You can be whoever you want!"

He paused, but only for a second. "How about... Gizmo."

Jinx threw her arm around his shoulders. "Perfect."

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Okay, I just want to say that the Hive might be my favorite characters right now. These guys _rock_.

This one was tough. I was torn between this idea, and one based on Robin's disappearance and how that would impact the team- I think there's a lot of story potential in that.

Anyway, I absolutely loved this episode- it's probably my favorite so far. Gizmo is awesome. Jinx is awesome. Mammoth didn't say a whole lot, but he was pretty great, too. The fight scenes are incredible, both in animation and how quickly everything moves. We get to see all five Titans and the three new baddies using their powers in really creative ways- it's a riot.

Even the goofy stuff, I still liked. The upbeat music that didn't always fit. The cheesy one-liners from both sides. The bizarre jokes about moldy blue food... actually, now that I think about it, this is a really strong episode from a comedy perspective, too.

**I should have mentioned this after episode 1, but Slade's voice is freaking terrifying.**

Also, that ending? With a recording of Robin saying "Who is Slade?" over and over? Gave me chills. This is awesome.


	4. Forces of Nature

Season 1, Episode 4

**Blind Focus**

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I try not to think about it, but you can't avoid dreams.

It wasn't my first exposure to Slade. I'd learned about him before, from the Hive, but this was the first time I'd actually seen him. The first time I heard his voice. And the first time I fought him.

Looking back, I'm not sure how I knew so quickly. I mean, yeah, he was attacking the city, but Jump has more than a few who'd try _that_. Something was different about him, though. When we were fighting, he seemed... content. Not happy, not just getting a cheap thrill from violence like some of the other lunatics. More like he was convinced that he was supposed to be doing this.

That I was, too.

"Robin. We meet at last." He said it like he'd known me my whole life. That voice still gives me chills, even in dreams.

The fight? It was nothing special. Unusual, maybe- being in the forest, instead of the urban battlefields I'm more familiar with, was tough. 'Using your environment' takes on a different meaning when all you have to work with is tree branches.

Of course, a few of those made their way into the fight.

I don't remember everything that happened. But I remember misjudging him- a move, a step, a single motion that went wrong, and suddenly he had his hand at my throat.

"...Robin. Is that the best you can do?"

No rage. No malice, or anger, or sneering contempt. But the condescension he put in those words, as if I were a child that needed to be reprimanded, was enough to send me into a blind fury.

...But I was powerless. He had me pinned to the tree- if a stray bolt of lightning hadn't exploded near us, I don't know what would have happened. But the smoke cleared, and his mask started to fall, and he vanished, leaving nothing behind but a simple wooden amulet.

Standing there, holding the pendant, staring at markings I didn't understand, I realized something.

Slade didn't hate me. I don't think he really even wanted to kill me, like so many of the others do.

It's more complicated now, but I think that first time, I didn't hate him, either. If anything, I was scared of him. Scared of what he could do, and what he wanted to do.

But even the simple act of hearing his voice took away some of the mystery.

Batman once told me that people like him didn't always need brute strength or strategic genius, though I believe Slade had both. What they need is intimidation. Fear. They need to create the appearance- real or illusion- of being in complete control.

And Slade was a master. Standing in that burning forest, commanding beings closer to gods than villains, wearing two faces, and smiling while he fought me. As if everything was constructed for the sole purpose of making me afraid.

...And he did it. He won. Not by defeating me, but he won in other ways. He planted that first idea of fear in my mind. Mystery. Illusion. Terror and secrets and dark, hidden places.

Or maybe he simply wanted me to wonder. If so, then he still won- I obsessed over finding him, bringing him to justice. Maybe, when he ran, he just wanted me to follow.

And- like a fool- I did. I didn't chase him then and there, but over time, I followed.

I tried to walk back, to greet the other Titans, to celebrate our victory. We'd won, after all. The monster hadn't hurt anyone. Beast Boy had learned from it all.

But that's the night I still see in my dreams.

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Sorry for the wait. The first three were written in five days... and this one took over two weeks? I know, but the truth is, I had no idea what to write for this one. Speaking of which, what can we really say about this episode?

Well, for starters, it was straight-up insane.

Apparently we have gods in this world now? (Elemental, nature-style gods, but still.) Thunder and Lightning are literally the forces of thunder and lightning (duh), and I just find that odd. Are there other deity-like creatures? Doesn't that throw a wrench in this world full of heroes and villains?

Also, Slade is magic now. He raised a gigantic monster made of fire, and no one bats an eye. Is Slade gonna keep using magic like this? And what was the point of his vaguely martial-arts inspired disguise? He already wears a disguise, and none of the Titans have seen him yet... but he wants Robin to know who he is, right? Ah, well.

Anyway, he commands the monster to destroy a forest. What's the Titans' reaction? Naturally, they decide to destroy the trees themselves before the fire can.

...Wait, what?

There's a moment where Slade spreads his arms, looking up at the sky, and just says "Heh." I love it.

A bizarre dream sequence happens, full of pink clouds and shifting, fluid animation, where Thunder talks to Beast Boy_ as a tiger._ Seriously.

But for all the strangeness, I don't dislike this episode. In fact, it was still pretty fun- the fights were intense, and there were some pretty good laughs (including a subtle joke that I just loved- near the beginning, Beast Boy says, "Come on, guys! Can't anybody take a joke?" Immediately, a flash of lightning outlines Robin's silhouette across the room- probably the most serious character in the whole show- and he yells, "TITANS! TROUBLE!")

Again, not a bad episode. I can't stop talking about it, so I must have enjoyed it on some level, right? It just might not be one of my favorites.

On to number 5!

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**So, apparently, there's some confusion regarding the proper order of the first three episodes. Some places I look say "Divide and Conquer" was first, while others claim it was "Final Exam". I don't really know which is correct, so I'm just gonna leave the stories as they are.  
**


	5. The Sum of His Parts

Season 1, Episode 5

**Fix**

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He had to admit, it was... nice. Being back in the park, feeling the wind, seeing the trees and flowers and grass. Nice.

Closing his organic eye, he faced the sun, letting the light fall against him. The red eye, though, stared. Lost in the beauty of the golden orb, it sprang to life, zooming in to let him focus on the contrast between the sun's light and the sky around it.

Cyborg sighed.

"Um, hello? Cy? Earth to the Man of Steel?" Beast Boy was lying face-up on a picnic blanket, craning his neck around to look up at his friend. A glob of purple filling dripped out of the doughnut in his right hand, landing directly on his forehead. "Oops."

As he struggled to reach the offending jelly with his tongue, Cyborg turned. "Uh, 'Man of Steel's kinda taken already, bud."

Beast Boy gave up, wiping his face with his hand. "I know, dude," he said lazily, proceeding to munch on the rest of the doughnut. "Never made sense to me, though. Not like he's made out of metal, or something. Probably don't even _have_ steel on Krypton."

"There's a lot of things they don't have on Krypton."

"Uk-" Beast Boy made a choking noise, coughing loudly as he rolled over onto his stomach. "Shouldn'a- tried'ta- eat on my back-" Pounding his chest, he sat up and eventually cleared his throat. "Yeah, good point," he muttered, face red.

"Geez, didn't mean to give you a heart attack," Cyborg grinned.

Beast Boy frowned. "The idea still stands," he declared, leveling a finger at his friend, "That the name fits you better. You are literally a Man, and also Steel. If you think about it, the big guy isn't either one."

As his friend kept talking, eagerly mulling over other possible nicknames, Cyborg let his gaze wander over the scenery before him. The park wasn't full, but there were a few people strolling through the grassy fields and wandering near the semi-forest that separated the main of Jump City from this little piece of nature. Raven was meditating, huddled under a nearby oak, while Starfire was eagerly asking a couple of confused kids why they were wearing 'the hats that block the sun, but _backwards_'. Robin, meanwhile, had fallen asleep on the edge of the blanket, frowning once in a while and murmuring about justice.

The calm, peaceful scene was starting to make him drowsy again. It was all so peaceful. Normal.

_Human_.

An image, a dark room full of sparks and wires, burned to life in his memory.

"Cy!" With a start, he blinked and found Beast Boy staring at him. "Dude, you can't-"

"Huh?" His mechanical eye involuntarily zoomed in on his friend's wide eyes, accessing files on possible emotion readings. _Fear. Concern. Alarm. Worry._ "Wha- what are you talkin' about, B?"

Beast Boy grinned, face lighting up. _Relief. Peace. Joy._ "Man, you really zoned for a sec. I thought maybe you- you know-"

He paused, looking down.

"...Thought I lost power again?"

Beast Boy nodded, suddenly looking much smaller.

Cyborg shook his head. "Nah, man. Just... got a lot on my mind. Sorry."

"Sure." He nodded, pointed ears bobbing up and down.

The day continued, slow and warm and bright. For a few minutes, they simply watched the summer pass by, the occasional cloud weaving in front of the sun to darken the fields.

"Hey." Beast Boy's voice was quiet. "You know that guy you were talking to?"

It took Cyborg a second to realize what he was referring to. "The robot?"

"Yeah, the- yeah." His friend was sitting forward, gaze fixed straight ahead. "What was he talking about?"

Cyborg sat down on the blanket next to him, but Beast Boy didn't flinch. "He said a lot of stuff I didn't really get. Kinda weirded me out, you know?" He laughed, but there was a nervous edge to it.

"Like what?"

Beast Boy wrapped his arms around his knees. "He sounded like he was gonna do something, but you stopped him."

The interface focused on Beast Boy's eyes again. _Fear_.

"What was... what was gonna happen?"

Cyborg was going to explain, to tell Beast Boy about everything Fixit had told him, but something in his friend's voice stopped him. It wasn't just that Beast Boy sounded scared. After all, the Titans were often in danger- they could be injured, or separated from the team, or even killed.

Somehow, Beast Boy knew. He knew there was more to it than just physical peril, and Cyborg could hear in the trembling of his words that this scared him more than any supervillain.

He breathed deeply. Where to even start? What did it mean to be human, or to lose humanity? How to explain it?

"He wasn't gonna do anything crazy, right?"

Beast Boy was still looking forward, but he was blinking quickly. "Right, Cy?" Not a whisper, but his voice was lower, quieter than normal.

The thought appeared in Cyborg's mind. _What's the difference between humans and machines?_

...Well, a machine wouldn't lie.

He smiled. "Course, B. I was fine. That guy wasn't gonna try nothin'."

Nodding, Beast Boy gave a tentative smile, too. "Okay. Yeah, of course." He flinched when Cyborg put his arm around his shoulders.

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**Blue Debut  
**

[]

**"Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please?"**

You know, I don't expect much from an audience.

**"If you would find your seats as quickly as possible-"**

I know show business is fickle. If I have a bad night, I deserve to be booed of the stage. I understand that _completely_. It's happened.

**"Just a reminder that this show may be frightening for children under the age of five-"**

But if I play the cards right, raise the curtain fast, pull the rabbit out of the hat, dazzle the masses, all that song and dance... I deserve recognition. It's just a fact. The other side of the coin. High risk, high reward.

**"-And flash photography is prohibited."**

But no one deserves this.

**"Thank you, and enjoy the show!"**

I toss the megaphone off to one side, standing near the steps that lead upstage. Even from here, I can hear them talking. Talking. Talking.

Chatting, laughing, chuckling, yelling, yawning, someone's even singing. How dare they.

Is it really so difficult? To understand that, when you're at a professional magic show, you should have the decency to be quiet when the lights go down?

Talking doesn't just say you have no respect. Worse, it says you don't _care_. By all means, call me a fraud, tell me I'm lazy, that I'm fooling people with bright lights and mirrors, but never dismiss it like the whole thing's beneath you.

I start up the staircase.

How _dare_ they.

Closer to the top.

You wanna see magic?

Nearly there.

I'll _give_ you magic.

Through the curtain. Raising my hands, smiling at the crowd, squinting in the spotlight... and they don't even look up.

They don't deserve this.

Bowing low, low like a servant, trying not to sneer in contempt as I see a bored kid in the first row fiddling with his cell phone.

Standing straighter, reaching into a bag, pulling out a multicolored flag.

What's the point? They don't care.

"I think I'm going to need a volunteer."

Pointing to the first one, the _only_ one who raises her hand. Folding the flag, showing them all it's not ripped or torn, holding it in one hand as I wait for her to approach the stage.

They've seen all this before.

Putting on a show. Making it obvious I'm sliding the flag into a white glove, then giving it to the girl. Watching her wave to the crowd, smiling.

What would it take to impress them?

Thinking. Stalling, spouting some nonsense about the mystery of magic. Wondering how to make it different.

One big trick. They couldn't be bothered to have patience, so why should I bother with the whole show? Just one. One trick, but enough to leave them stunned.

Planning. Waiting. Dramatic pause.

"And now, everybody, I bid you a fond farewell."

_That_ got their attention. They're whispering, confused, looking up, and the girl's stumped, too.

Planning.

_Say the magic words. Dim lights. Vanish through trapdoor, appear in the aisle with the flag- never gave it to her. Grabbed it back before I passed her the glove._

Ready. Waving my hands, speaking in a low, eerie voice, waiting for the lights to go down.

"Kazim, Kazeem, Kazam!"

Kazam?

Different. Don't usually say that. Why'd I say that?

...Something's wrong. She's frowning, looking down, and the crowd's leaning forward. Edge of their seats.

Let's take a moment to enjoy this.

This is it, you know. This is the moment magicians live for. The end of the trick is fun, but this is intoxicating. Seeing them, adults and children alike, believing in magic or not, it doesn't matter because they all want to know _what's going to happen next?_

But as I said, something's wrong.

You see, the glove is now on fire.

I am somewhat lost for words.

I look down, and see that the flag, hidden in the palm of my hand, is also burning. It doesn't hurt.

...I briefly wonder if I am going insane.

The girl is screaming, but I don't think she's burned, either. Sure enough- she soon looks at the glove with wonder, not horror and pain.

I wonder, as well.

"Ka-_zam_." I say it on a whim.

Fire roars, bright and blinding, the crowd is yelling, crying, standing, and I slip through the trapdoor, but not before grabbing the glove from the startled volunteer.

Crawling, moving through the dark to get backstage. Hearing the cheers, the bewildered shouts of... what? Admiration? Anger? Directionless rage?

I don't seem to care.

Passing a mirror, seeing no evidence of flames or burns, blinking because the bright firelight must have hurt my vision- I'm seeing my reflection tinged with blue, like an afterimage from looking at the sun.

Yes. That's all. Just a mildly altered state of vision.

Again, thinking. Processing. What really happened?

Magic.

How do I explain?

Magic.

What now?

..._Magic_.

Oh, this is going to be good.

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As you can see, I'm trying something new. If I can't decide which of two story ideas to go with... why not do both? That's an idea from TheFoolOnMelancholyHill. To the Fool- thanks again, by the way.

So, if you're wondering, this episode mainly looked at Cyborg. He runs out of battery, the other Titans completely lose him when distracted by Mumbo, and he finds himself being looked after by a robot-humanoid named Fixit, who eventually insists that he can't leave and must become fully mechanical to be 'repaired'.

I hope you'll forgive the wildly different styles and tones of these stories. I really wanted to write the first one- honestly, Cyborg seemed like one of the characters I really didn't connect much with, so it was really cool having this episode mainly about him.

For example, there was a moment shortly after he learned his power was failing that he put on a brave face and said, "Just 'cause I can't have fun, doesn't mean y'all can't." That kinda hit me. I mean, it's easy to see him as more of an adult than the others- kind of the 'Parent' figure, like Robin's the 'Leader'- but the truth is, he's still young. I really loved seeing more of him as a person.

Speaking of that... is it just me, or was this really dark? I mean, we're talking about completely removing Cyborg's identity and making him nothing but an unfeeling machine. That's pretty terrifying, but in a good way, I guess? Once Fixit's plan was revealed, I was genuinely shocked. Same thing when we see that Fixit used to be human- if I'm being honest, this episode had two huge twists I didn't see coming at all. That was awesome.

And wow, when was the last time you saw a cartoon feature a little kid with a prosthetic limb? There's a boy in a baseball uniform who runs up to Cyborg, talking about how he's a huge fan and stuff, and then he pulls his baseball glove off and says "You're just like me!" No lie, I kind of teared up a little there.

By the way, there were some really funny moments here, too. Starfire guzzling mustard and happily squealing, "Is there more?" was pretty bizarre (Is that gonna be a thing with her, by the way? Mustard?).

The Titans are chasing Mumbo, and they find him because he leaves traces of magic everywhere. Beast Boy quips, "He's an easy act to follow." This show is freaking amazing.

I guess that's a natural segue into talking about Mumbo.

...

You guys, I don't know how to put this. Mumbo is Mumbo. Mumbo Mumbo Mumbo.

Mumbo for days.

Everything about this guy is fantastic. His insane yelling during battles. The fact that he used an army of rabbits and gigantic, industrial-size playing cards to fight.

Actually, wait a minute... blue skin, white hair, a big nose, and gee, his voice sounds familiar, doesn't it? Let's look up his voice actoWHY HELLO ICE KING FROM ADVENTURE TIME, HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY.

So yeah, just to recap: Fix-it is creepy, Mumbo is awesome... I don't know why, but I'm loving all the villains in this show so far.

Yes, I see Mumbo as having a very scattered, frantic thought process. That's just one way you could imagine him, though. I hope it wasn't too annoying.


	6. Nevermore

Season 1, Episode 6

**Reality Check**

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"GO!"

Raven flung her hand backward.

_Uh-oh._

Black energy radiated from her fingers, soaring towards Beast Boy. He tried to brace himself before the rush of magic exploded, sending him and Cyborg flying towards the portal, and he opened his eyes wide.

Nevermore was spinning around him. Disoriented, he caught glimpses of the vivid red stars, sending beams of light across his vision. Dust and smoke from Raven's battle drifted through the air, partially obscuring the floating stone islands around him. Beyond and around it all, an expanse of darkness seemed to go on forever.

_You know, a few hours ago, this all woulda seemed really friggin' weird._ The thought made him smile.

He crashed into the rock, wincing as he rolled along the ground. A loud grunt told him Cyborg had landed too. "Now why'd she have t'go an' do that?" he muttered, slowly getting to his feet.

Beast Boy frowned. "I can't even see her, dude. Where'd they go?"

Leveling his arm cannon, Cyborg scanned the landscape. "Uh... Got 'em!" He pointed towards one of the levitating pillars, where the monster's roaring could be heard. "Let's go!"

Turning, Beast Boy glanced at the door behind him. Rings of light shifted and swirled, promising a way out. A way home. "But- but the-"

Cyborg gave him an incredulous look. "You kiddin', B? She needs our help!" He took off, metal feet pounding against the otherworldly ground.

_She... needs our help. _Beast Boy shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. "Uh, yeah. Of course." He approached the edge of the island, where a thin bridge of stone led to more land. "Hey, I think if we go this way, we'll-"

A bolt of brilliant yellow energy slammed into the ground at his feet, erupting in a sudden explosion. Screaming, Beast Boy staggered back and fell, knocked over by the force of the blast. He tried to shield his face as shards of earth and rock pelted him.

"Cyborg!" He tried to call his friend's name again, but thick dust from the magic blast was swarming the island, and he immediately started coughing. "Cy-"

With a start, he realized that no one was calling back. Looking up quickly, he scoured the scene before him, desperately searching for his friends. The bridge was destroyed- he couldn't see any way onto one of the other floating islands.

_So I'm stuck on this rock. Unless..._

Grinning, he turned into a falcon. The enhanced vision helped him scan the area, but he still couldn't find the battle. He leaped off the edge, flapping his wings and propelling himself forward, but the dead air made it difficult to fly well.

_Where the heck are they? _Just as the thought finished echoing in his mind, a haze of red and yellow lights appeared over one of the islands, and he adjusted his flying to head towards it.

Red eyes appeared before him.

Caught off guard, Beast Boy couldn't react fast enough- the raven enveloped him, clawing at him and pushing with its wings. The four eyes seemed to glow as the bird cawed loudly, further disorienting him. He struggled for a while, attacking with his beak, but when the other bird reared back, allowing him a better view of Nevermore, he realized his mistake.

_Oh, joy. More spinning red lights._

The stone islands weren't where he remembered- in fact, Nevermore seemed completely turned around. Beast Boy had no idea which direction he'd been going. On a whim, he morphed back into his human form, swiftly dropping through the empty space. The bird screeched loudly, following, but he swatted it away before regaining his falcon form and using his momentum to quickly soar off to the side.

Gliding over another cliff edge of stone, he changed mid-flight and dropped to the surface. Only a few yards away was...

He stopped, frowning. _Well, this just makes no sense._

The portal was before him. He sighed, turning back to face the expanse of stars and islands. _How'd I end up back at the exit?_

"She doesn't want you here."

The voice resonated from all around, as if it was coming from Nevermore itself. Beast Boy flinched, startled, then looked up at the stars. "What're you talking about?"

"You weren't even supposed to find this place!"

It... sounded like his own voice. _That's not normal._ Beast Boy growled, narrowing his eyes. "Well, yeah, but we did, and now I kinda gotta find Raven, so how 'bout you-"

"She told you to leave."

Despite himself, he glanced back to the portal. Just for a second. _That's right, she did..._

"This is insane, dude. All of it."

Beast Boy shook his head. "Yeah, but- but I gotta-"

"Why help her?" His voice sounded louder now, more insistent. "You barely know anything about her. She kept all this a secret- you think she really wants your help?"

He didn't say anything, staring down at the stone beneath his feet.

"Why do you care, man? She never opens up to anyone, and she definitely doesn't talk to _you_. She doesn't even _like_ you."

His eyes widened. He hadn't shared that with anyone- the fear that Raven hated him, that she couldn't stand seeing him, and now it would be even worse because he'd gone in her room.

"Let's get out of here, dude. Just go home already."

The lights swirled in the portal. Beast Boy breathed deeply.

_"Leave her."_

An explosion in the distance. Blasts of multicolored energy. Yelling, crashing, roaring. Beast Boy's ears twitched at the sound, and he stared in the direction of the fight.

He grinned. "No way, me. Raven's my friend."

The voice was quiet for a second. "Friend?"

Scowling, he shrugged. "Well, maybe she still hates me, but whatever! I don't need a friggin' reason, alright?" He looked back up at the darkness. "Why'm I even still talking to you?"

He didn't look back at the portal. Hearing nothing but silence, he smiled and morphed into a flying form.

Not a falcon, though. A pterodactyl.

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First of all, yes, I did make up the idea that Beast Boy heard voices in Nevermore. That is not canon. So sorry.

I'm debating what to do with the notes at the end. Should it include moments I liked from the episode? Fairly simple quotes and stuff? I'll do that for this one, as an example, and we'll see how it goes.

Moments from "Nevermore":

-I know Dr. Light was probably just there to precede Raven's breakdown, but I can't lie- I thought he was pretty hilarious. Not surprising, since I'm really enjoying nearly every villain so far, but this guy was downright cheesy. The light puns, his snooty voice, his expressions (seriously, it's like he's trying to pass something), and especially the totally insane light powers. Sometimes he just shines, but sometimes he can make light explode? Really? That's amazing. That's just plain fun.

Also, I think he may be wearing mascara.

-Beast Boy is lamenting the fact that Raven won't laugh at his jokes. Cyborg doesn't even turn around: "At least she's listening. I just kind of tune you out." (I'm noticing the show has a very strong grasp of sarcastic, dry humor. It's kind of cool to see that alongside all the slapstick and chibi faces.)

-You guys, the animation in Nevermore itself is amazing. This episode just looks gorgeous; it's really incredible.

-The tiny birds, with giant red eyes, very softly whispering "Turn back, turn back..." was FREAKING TERRIFYING. I will see those things in my nightmares.

-The two-faced statue thing was awesome, and I am still blown away by the fight animation this show uses. It's colorful, detailed, and above all, it's _fast_.

-There is a moment when- and I swear I'm not joking when I say this- during a fight, Beast Boy turns into a llama, and without a single question, Cyborg immediately hops on his back and rides into battle. If I could, I would make that image my background. Robot riding a llama, fools. Be afraid.

-Happy pink Raven is exponentially creepier than normal Raven! My favorite moment was when she popped out of nowhere, grinning at Cyborg with a cheeky "Hey guys! What's up?" Lost for words, Cyborg just stammers, "...I dunno anymore."

This whole time, while Beast Boy, Cyborg and Raven are fighting otherworldly monsters, Robin and Starfire are... watching TV. Well. Okay then.

-At one point, when Beast Boy is fighting the giant monster, he decides the best battle plan is to... turn into a pterodactyl and try to grab the creature's ponytail, tugging him off the edge of a cliff. I can't decide if that's stupid or brilliant.

All right, I'd be remiss if I didn't talk about the focus of the episode: namely, **Raven**. Raven who is now the scariest character on the whole show. Raven who straight traumatized that Light guy, and who actually grew red eyes, tentacles, and fangs at one point. Raven who gives a new meaning to 'split personality'.

You guys what is happening I can't even deal.

(And while we're on the subject, I'd like to point out the split-by-color multiple Ravens. How fun would it be to voice this? A whole bunch of completely different personalities, but you don't have to change your voice at all. )

These new powers seem important. Until this point, all I really knew about Raven's abilities was that she could levitate things, I guess? But I think even the other Titans didn't know about any of this.

It was pretty cool seeing her get an entire episode- I think the other four kind of had ones like that already- but it raises a lot of questions. That monster in Nevermore was an illusion of her father, yes? Who is apparently some kind of monster? If I had to guess, I'd say that's part of the reason she lost control earlier, going full Tim-Burton-villain against Dr. Light.

So, in hindsight, I should have suspected that OF COURSE the quiet and reserved character is the one hiding the most secrets. That's friggin' Scooby Doo 101.

Too long, didn't read: **Raven is now much more interesting, and this show is not letting up in the slightest. **


	7. Switched

Season 1, Episode 7

**One Short Day**

[]

"Who can _saaay_ if I've been _chaaanged_ for the better..."

Raven was starting to rethink this shopping trip.

"But because I knew you..."

"Starfire?"

"I have been CHAAANGED..."

"Um, Starfire?"

"For the good!" Starfire proudly sang the last note, lifting her arms in the air and closing her eyes.

Raven gave a weak smile to a passing employee, who motioned for them to keep the noise down. "I don't think that's quite how the line goes."

The mall was huge, bigger than she'd feared. Hundreds- probably thousands, now that she looked closer- of people cluttered the walkways and store entrances, hurried families trying to keep everyone together alongside moody teenagers wandering aimlessly. Starfire deftly moved aside to dodge one such kid, who barely noticed them over the music blaring from his headphones. "Perhaps not," she admitted, "but I do hope they play the song again!"

Glaring at the oblivious teen, Raven sidestepped as well, following her friend. "Personally, I think I've heard enough sappy pop songs for one day."

"Oh, but there is such emotion in the music!" Starfire turned, beaming. "Beast Boy told me all about it- it's a wonderful story, about a girl that everyone believes is evil, but she truly is not! I think you would like it..."

Raven had stopped. Trailing off, Starfire blinked. "Um, I am sorry- I did not mean to say that-"

"No, it's fine." She hesitated. "Actually, it sounds interesting."

"Wonderful!" Grinning again, Starfire looked back at the bright scene before them. "So, what should we do now?"

Raven shrugged. "Where do you usually go?"

"I have never been here!"

"...You're kidding." She stared at the Tamaranean girl. "You're always asking us to go with you."

For a second, her smile faltered. "Well, the others were busy each time. And I don't think I would be having the fun if I arrived here by myself."

"Huh." A young girl dashed past, nearly tripping on Raven's cloak. "Maybe not."

They kept walking, with a few detours whenever a store display window caught Starfire's attention. Eventually, they stopped at a small coffee shop upon her insistence that she'd never had 'the strange Earth drink that makes you stay awake!'

Entering, Raven pulled her hood a little lower, but Starfire squealed in delight and rushed forward. She leaned on the counter, staring up at the different menus. "What should I purchase? Perhaps the cap... the capp-yu..."

"Cappuccino?" The young man behind the register grinned. "I think you'll like it, lady. We make 'em really good."

Her eyes lit up. "Splendid!" With a spin, she smiled back at Raven. "Isn't this wonderful! Another new drink to try!"

"Another?" Raven sighed. "Starfire, is this going to be mustard all over again?"

She frowned. "But that was not a true drink, correct? And this cappuccino is!"

"Well, yeah, but-"

The guy ringing up the order interrupted. "Starfire, huh? Wow, that's a beautiful name."

Raven narrowed her eyes, stepping forward. "I'll just have an ice water." She placed a few dollar bills on the counter.

He paled slightly, unintentionally taking a step back from her glare. "Uh, y-yeah. Comin' right up."

Starfire took a seat at one of the booths. "Is something wrong?" she asked. "You seem upset."

"I'm fine." Raven stole a suspicious glance back at the counter. "Something about that guy seems... I don't know."

She considered this, resting her chin on her hands. "He seemed perfectly normal," she said with a frown. "Did you sense something with your magic?"

"No, it's just-" She sighed, sitting down as well. "Forget it. It's probably nothing."

Starfire looked down, idly sliding a stack of napkins from one side of the table to the other. "But you do not trust him?"

"Well, I'm not sure-"

"I imagine it must be difficult to focus on the good in people."

Raven's mouth opened slightly, and she shook her head, surprised. "What?" she managed. It was easy to forget that Starfire had no problem switching from small talk to more personal topics.

This time, though, she hesitated. "I may be wrong," she said quickly. "But when we were- when I had your powers, I realized how easy it was to let emotions lead me. To accidentally cause destruction. It seemed that, maybe, the best way to keep from feeling the pain would be to draw away from people."

One of the employees set their drinks on the table. Starfire shrugged. "I'm glad you have not done that."

It was... kind of a lot to take in. Raven looked down, unwilling to match the eager, hopeful expression in her friend's bright green eyes. "Thanks," she said quietly.

"I think I should be doing the thanking," she admitted. Seeing Raven's confused expression, she continued, "It probably was not easy to tell me about your past. That truly means a lot."

"...Good point," Raven finally said. It probably wasn't the most fitting response, and Starfire giggled. They both sipped their drinks quietly as the crowds passed by the storefront.

"Can I ask you something?" Starfire nodded, and Raven set the cup down. "You said you need joyful thoughts to start flying, right? I don't think you ever told me what yours is."

She looked out at the people again. "I don't know if I can do the explaining very well," she began. "It's more of a feeling, I think. The people in this city- it has something to do with them."

Raven nodded, listening as Starfire continued. "I need to fly to help them. But I also think I need their help... to fly?" Her voice rose, as if she was unsure. "When I see them, I know that I am meant to use my powers to defend others. So when I need to fly, I think about how lucky I am."

Thinking, Raven was silent for a few minutes. "Perhaps that did not make the sense?" Starfire said nervously.

"No, it did." Looking up, she also glanced out at the crowds. "I just don't often think of my powers like that. Lucky."

Starfire nodded. The quiet, pensive atmosphere completely changed when she said brightly, "So what _do_ friends usually do at the mall?"

A slight smile appeared on Raven's face. "Not sure," she said. "Maybe just this. Or shopping."

Leaping up from the seat, Starfire grinned. "Then shopping it is!"

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(At the end of the episode, Raven asked Starfire if she wanted to go to the mall. That's where this came from. Just so you know.)

You guys. Just when I think this show cannot possibly get any more ridiculous, it does. EVERY TIME.

I am, of course, referring to the Puppet King.

A magic puppet that wants to take over the world by trapping the souls of the Titans inside other, tinier puppets, and also wants to use the 'zombie' bodies to do his bidding? That's awesomely inspired, hilariously stupid, and all-around insane all at once. I would love to be in the room where these writers come up with stuff like this.

Speaking of which, the Puppet King had a strangely laid-back voice. I think they were trying to do something similar to Slade's terrifying-yet-somehow-almost-polite quality, but I don't think it worked. The PK sounded like he literally did not care about what was going on, like a lethargic housecat. On drugs. Very slow drugs. And honestly, that made his scenes even more bizarre and funny, so I guess it worked.

Now then, since I love the villains, why didn't I write about him? I honestly don't know. I couldn't really think of anything, and I felt like Starfire and Raven had a lot of character development, so I figured I'd run with that instead. Maybe I'll give this guy a story if he shows up again.

Also, seeing the team fight each other was awesome.

GOLDANGIT RAVEN. Why must you pretend the bonding and stuff from the last episode didn't even happen? Beast Boy was being a classy dude, admitting that he misjudged you... and now it's like we're back to square one. Oh well. At least we got Raven finally explaining her backstory.

...Off-screen. She says, "I was born in a place called Azarath..." and that's it. You guys, I still don't know what her deal is. I just want to learn about our resident dangerous magical monster-fighter! Why must this show torture me so, yo? Low.

But honestly, this episode gave a ton of character development to both girls. They bonded over their powers and personalities, even though they're completely different. There's also a complex theme about how emotions work, looking at joy, anger, and balance, which is pretty impressive, especially when a lot of cartoons stick to 'Believe in yourself' and stuff like that. I think I'm starting to understand why people love these characters so much.

**Funny** **stuff**: The switch is priceless. Starfire's face with Raven's expression of 'This situation is so stupid I'm amazed my brain still works' is gold.

To escape the zombies, Starfire in Raven's body levitates them both with magic. Two characters who can normally fly perfectly fine are now stuttering and dragging through the air quite slowly, while screaming at the top of their lungs... it's a good time.

It took Raven a while to figure out how to shoot starbolts, so for the majority of the episode, she just kicked enemies in the face. Over and over. It was glorious.

There were probably more, but I didn't catch a whole lot this time.

The first season has 10 episodes, right? Let's see if I can finish in the next few weeks! (That deadline in particular is just because school's been pretty busy, and I'm likely to have a much more difficult schedule near the end of May. I'll probably take a break for a while, then get to Season 2 in the summer.)

I know this wasn't the most dramatic or action-packed story,** but I'm looking to try more action and/or comedy in the next ones.**


	8. Deep Six

Season 1, Episode 8

**Try to Keep Up**

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"Wait. So you're saying... you think there's more than one Trident?"

The underwater cavern sparkled with gemstones, shedding light over both the water and stone floor. Beast Boy was pacing near the ocean's edge, while Aqualad leaned against the wall, lost in thought.

Beast Boy nodded furiously. "It makes sense! We keep goin' on about how he's in 'two places at once', and he somehow splits us up in battles, but we both remember fighting him."

Aqualad crossed his arms. "It's possible..." he mused. "I hadn't considered that idea."

"Do you think that maybe-" Beast Boy paused.

The Atlantean turned, confused. "What's wrong?"

"I just thought of something." He narrowed his eyes. "You can... you talk to fish, right? You were able to do your telepathingy or whatever when I was underwater."

"Telepathy. Yeah."

Whirling, Beast Boy seemed to explode. "Why didn't you DO that, dude?!" he yelled. "Was it so tough to send over a psychic 'Oh no, I'm totally fighting Trident over here, I'm losing horribly, Beast Boy help' so we could figure it out? If you'da done that, we could have planned out a better fight knowing there were TWO wanted-criminal-supervillains running around!"

"Oh, come on!" he protested. "You haven't listened to me all day- why would you believe me then?"

Beast Boy stamped his foot. "Because I'm totally smart, and I know when people are lying!" he shouted. "You coulda just asked why I wasn't helping in the fight, and right there, I'da figured out we were dealing with synchronized swimmers!"

"Synchronized swimmers?"

_"I can't help it I make bad jokes when I'm mad!"_ Beast Boy hissed in a single breath.

Aqualad didn't bat an eye. "Yeah, and all the other times, too."

He could have sworn steam was coming out of the Titan's ears. "Why. Didn't. You. TELEPATHIZE."

"You could've done the same thing! Remember, we were talking earlier? If you had a clear thought about fighting, I would have known!"

Beast Boy faltered, then frowned again. "Wait, you're saying neither one of us had a single rational thought for that whole ten minutes?"

Water dripped from the stalactites to the floor. Both heroes blinked, eventually looking off to the side and generally avoiding eye contact.

"Well, that's stupid," Beast Boy finally said.

"Agreed."

"But at least we know there are multiple Tridents, right?" Crossing his arms, Beast Boy looked at the surface of the underwater lake thoughtfully. "So what now? I mean, where do we even look?"

"I think I might know where." He turned to see Aqualad, pointing up with a steely, determined expression. "Looks like we've got company."

"Did you really just use that line?" Beast Boy muttered, but looked up.

Thousands of amber-golden eggs were nestled in the craggy recesses of the cavern's ceiling. Each capsule seemed to contain another nearly-full-grown Trident, crouched in some kind of fetal stage and surrounded by glowing yellow fluid- in fact, the light from the strange substance was enough to clearly identify the Tridents as mechanical. Some of the eggs were beginning to move, as if the contents were stirring quietly.

"Guess we solved the mystery," Aqualad smirked. "Now let's-"

"WHAT?!" Beast Boy's shriek made him wince, covering his ears. "ARE YOU KIDDING?! IS THIS A JOKE?!"

"Calm down, alright? We knew he had copies somehow-"

"I thought there were TWO, dude!" Beast Boy screamed, more in anger than fear. "Two Tridents! But now there's, what, thousands?"

Aqualad tried to interrupt, but the Titan barely stopped to breathe, ranting and throwing his hands in the air. "And they're freakin' _robots_, man! But he grows 'em in a bunch'a _eggs_ or something! And yeah, oh, okay, that's great, they're all hatching out of that slime stuff and ugh, that's a _really gross sound_ YOU KNOW WHAT?!"

His voice suddenly rose in volume, and Aqualad gaped as he actually started jumping up and down in fury. "THAT'S IT! I'M DONE! I'M OUT! I AM NOT DEALING WITH THIS!"

"Look, just- calm down, alright?" The Atlantean took a hesitant step towards him. "They're trying to surround us. We need to think of a battle plan, something that'll-"

Beast Boy spun, rage burning in his eyes. "No way, dude! You can fight off Night of the Living Fish if you want, but I am _leaving_."

"Uh, what?"

"Listen, Aquanerd!" he yelled, pointing to the communicator on his belt. "I sent our location to Robin, and he's gonna bring the sub around soon and laser these guys in the face, or maybe collapse the cave on them or something, I don't know, it doesn't matter, but there's no way I'm putting up with a million robot-maggot-fish-man-babies that want to kill me _if I don't have to._"

Aqualad took a step back, overwhelmed by the choice of words. "But, how're we gonna-" he managed.

"COME ON!" Beast Boy screamed in frustration. He pointed forcefully to the lake surface. "We can both swim faster than _literally everything! _Now let's GO!"

[]

The scenery around Jump City's harbor seemed oddly peaceful, given the day's events. Robin paced back and forth in the sand, occasionally glancing at the two teens standing before him. Cyborg waited nearby as well, arms folded. "You both did an excellent job with the mission," the leader began. "Finding the Tridents' lair and keeping them busy long enough for us to get there... I'm really impressed."

Beast Boy beamed with pride. "No need for thanks, Rob," he said casually. "I only did what a hero should."

Aqualad coughed loudly.

Glaring at him, Robin continued. "Anyway, Aqualad, we've decided to offer you honorary Teen Titans status." He held out a custom-made communicator.

"I'm honored," the Atlantean said immediately.

Beast Boy rolled his eyes.

"Is there something the two of you would like to say?" Robin's voice was low and dangerous. Fearing the worst, Cyborg shook his head and sighed.

The silence only lasted a few seconds.

"-IF YOU HADN'T-"

"-I WAS THE ONE WHO-"

"-THINK YOU'RE SO GREAT-"

"-TAKING THIS SERIOUSLY-"

"-DID ALL THE WORK-"

"-NEVER LISTEN-"

"-DON'T NEED YOUR HELP-"

"-NOT SOME KIND OF COMPETITION-"

Robin pinched the bridge of his nose. "Normally, I'd- sorry, Cyborg, but my head is killing me. Would you mind?"

He strode past his leader, grinning widely. "Say no more. Always happy to help."

[]

Some time later, Raven noticed Cyborg striding back up the path, whistling loudly. "What's got you in such a good mood?"

He didn't change his pace. "Pranked B and Aqualad pretty good."

"Really." She raised her eyebrows. "And how, exactly, did you accomplish that?"

"I told 'em the only way to prove who was the best in the mission..." He grinned. "Which was underwater, remember... was to see who could hold their breath in the Bay the longest."

Raven sighed. "You _do_ realize they can both stay underwater for hours, right?"

Cyborg turned, smiling innocently. "Oh, that's right, isn't it? I completely _forgot_." He stretched, enjoying the feel of the sun on his face. "I suppose we'll just have to suffer through a day without them arguing."

Raven considered this. "Touché."

[]

[]

[]

Whoa, an attempt at comedy? Well, I figured I did promise that I'd try to make the 'less serious' episodes into funny oneshots, and I was getting a little tired of angsty character studies, so here we are.

This... this is one of the goofy episodes, right? The theme song was in Japanese, and I thought I'd read somewhere that that means it's a goofy one. Is that right? Am I totally off-base here?

I ask because, up until the last few minutes, this DID NOT seem like a comedy episode.

In a nutshell: A mysterious villain stole a bunch of radioactive waste. The Titans investigate, and find not only said villain (Trident) but also a potential ally named Aqualad, who tries to help them, but ends up in a somewhat distracting-from-the-mission rivalry with Beast Boy. They both eventually learn to put aside their differences and work together, while also learning that Trident was secretly cloning himself to aid his schemes.

It was a lot of fun. Cool story and all. But one moment stands out- when Beast Boy and Aqualad look up and see LITERALLY THOUSANDS of Trident robo-eggs, I was actually shaking. That was a huge twist. I thought we were gearing up for a massive fight, and with a revelation like that, it was gonna be epic.

And... then it went comedic. They defeat the Tridents by asking which one is the best (so they turn on each other in ego-fueled rage), and Beast Boy knocks a bunch of them on their butts in hippo-form like they're bowling pins. And then, yes, Robin actually does show up in the sub and laser their faces off while trapping them in a collapsing underwater cave.

I dunno, I guess I just wasn't expecting it to suddenly switch tones. But to be fair, it was really funny.

So, what about the rest of the story? Well, it was pretty clearly focused on Beast Boy, and I thought that was pretty great. Seeing his more arrogant and cocky nature was actually kinda fun, and I like the idea that he's threatened by Aqualad seeming 'cooler' than him- even though _Aqualad doesn't think of himself like that at all_. It was pretty clever to have B getting all worked up over a problem that didn't really exist- or you could even say that he created the problem, because Aqualad wasn't competing with him until Beast Boy started it. But either way, it seems they're gonna be rival/buddies now, and I think it's a great idea.

Also, both girls are apparently madly in love with Aqualad. Um. Okay then.

(I was a little looser with canon accuracies with this one. I mean, the basic scenes- Beast Boy arguing with Aqualad, the discovery of the eggs, and Aqualad's 'honorary Titan' deal- all happened, but I made up the dialogue to focus on comedy. At the end, everyone is basically friends, but I wanted to keep messing with the rivalry.)

You know what this show needs? More villains. (I'm not seriously upset about that, but geez, I think there have been more villains than episodes so far.)

Have some **funny moments.**

-At one point, Robin says, "Beast Boy's right. His skills are essential to this mission." Beast Boy leans back, with just the _smuggest_ of smug smirks, and I wanted to laugh and slap him at the same time.

-"Goodness me! I seem to have accidentally switched off Beast Boy's microphone." Sassy Cyborg strikes again.

"...Could you accidentally leave it off?" And Raven doesn't miss a beat.

-(Beast Boy tells Raven "Try not to be jealous," then transforms into a blue whale.) She deadpans, "He just put on 300,000 pounds... I am _so jealous_."

-Tramm is the little dude that helps out Aqualad and fixes the sub at one point, and I swear he is a combination of every small Star Wars character. Just the small ones, though- the droids and little aliens and stuff. Seriously, it's uncanny.

-Beast Boy. The only hero to actually say to himself, in his own mind, "Okay, Hero Time!"

-Beast Boy again: "What can I say, dude? You're the best."

(Aqualad modestly denies the compliment): "Nah, you're the best."

"...Yeah, you're right." Classy.

So, personally, **I liked this one.** I know that doesn't mean a whole lot- I've liked all of them so far, so it could be argued that I'm just not critical enough- but still.

I was literally seconds away from posting this chapter when I realized why it's called 'Deep Six'. Because they're underwater, and with Aqualad's help, there are six of them.

They're... in the water, and then... six, you know... I'll just leave now.


	9. Masks

Season 1, Episode 9

**Idée Fixe**

[]

Man, it doesn't bug me. If he wants to spend all his time cooped up in a dark room, with nothin' but computer screens and case files in front of him, what do I care? The dude's got issues, if you ask me. Who wants to obsess over criminals 'nstead of watching 'Revenge of the Mecha-Dinosaur Pirates'? Robin's crazy.

Yeah, he's... he's crazy.

Look, I'm fine. What, I need some masked ninja lookin' over my shoulder all the time? Please. It's actually been pretty cool- he hasn't made me do chores or whatever for weeks. I'm more than fine. I'm golden, dude.

I mean, yeah, I haven't talked to him in a while, but...

It doesn't matter. No problem. I'm not gonna whine an' cry about how he's spending more time lookin' through newspaper clippings than hanging out with his friends. Not gonna... That's somethin' a little kid would do.

I said I'm _fine_.

...

I wish that we could help him.

When Robin begins the research, he truly lets nothing distract him. Not even us. This is- this is desirable in a leader, correct? A hero must be of the single-mind when working. I believe that Robin is doing the right thing, trying to find Slade.

But it is difficult. The rest of the Titans offer our aid, but either he is too focused to let us help, or he does not trust us with this mission.

No, that is the 'going too far'. Of course he trusts us. I am sure this investigation requires the detective skills that only Robin has.

It is difficult to avoid feelings of... how is it said? The uselessness?

...Useless. Yes. I know Robin would not wish that I feel this way, but I have not had the time to talk to him. Besides, he is probably feeling the stress as well, so perhaps I should not complain.

But I am beginning to suspect that we need each other, and not just in the crime-fighting.

...

Maybe a robot's not the best option to talk about feelings 'n whatever, but I worry for the guy.

Er- not feelings. Forget that. Just can't be healthy, y'know? Rob's practically underground, he's in that room so much. Dunno if he's even eating every day. Heck, whenever I _do_ see him, he's twitchin' like Beast Boy on energy drinks. 'Fraid to touch him, 'cause it seems like he'll fall over.

...Fine. It's not just his health.

Robin's- look, he's more'n a leader, alright? He keeps us goin', even when we think we can't. And this whole Slade thing... I'm startin' to think he might not get anywhere.

Man, I've never seen Rob fail. If he does, I don't know what's gonna happen.

But he's gettin' mad already. Frustrated. If somethin' don't change soon, the whole team's in trouble.

Yeah. I'm worried.

...

Something's wrong.

I know it might seem hypocritical- me saying Robin's spending too much time alone- but that's just it. For me, it's normal to go meditate. Peaceful, even. If I'm using it to avoid the rest of the team, though, Robin's usually the one to call me out on it.

This isn't normal. He's not relaxing, or trying to better himself, or learning more about his abilities or anything like that. He's spending all his time focusing on the worst Jump City has to offer.

Is it really so implausible to suspect this could hurt him? Or worse, influence him.

I know it's easy to focus on the negative. More than once, I've looked at the endless problems in this city and thought, "Why bother?" But I'm lucky enough to have friends that help me see the good, as well. Starfire's optimism, Cyborg's determination, and even Beast Boy's energy- while sometimes annoying- are inspiring.

And Robin... he has a strong sense of duty. A code. Honor.

I don't want him to lose that.

[]

[]

[]

**Masque of the Red Death**

[]

Cyborg grinned. Without looking, he knew the other Titans had lined up behind him. "You workin' for Slade, tough guy?"

The thief took a running stance, crouching low and spreading his arms. A low, digitally altered voice emanated from within the mask. "Red X works alone."

Everything happened at once. The mysterious figure threw a hand forward, launching some kind of red bolt that screamed towards them. The rest of the team scattered in different directions, beginning a flanking attack, while Cyborg stood his ground, coolly aiming a blast from the sonic cannon.

The X-shaped projectile collided with the sound blast. Not magic-based, Cyborg noted.

He'd been ready for the explosion, but the smoke was clouding the entire rooftop. As the echoes faded, he switched to his mechanical eye, scanning the area for any sign of Red X.

There.

Without waiting for the dust to clear, Cyborg fired several lasers in a tight radius. Beast Boy was lurking in the shadows, waiting for a chance to approach from the back, while the girls hovered in the air. There was no way Red X could-

A steel-gray glove sprang appeared. Startled, Cyborg took aim again as the thief sprang away from the smoke, effortlessly dodging every attack. He seemed to fly through every move, using acrobatic twists and flips to avoid the laser blasts- almost as if...

Cyborg scowled. There was a fluid motion, even a grace in Red X's movements, but he was hesitating, too. He wasn't taking the obvious route, even if it would help him stay ahead of the sonic attacks.

As if he was avoiding a certain fighting style.

The idea was short-lived. A barrage of X's exploded forward, and Cyborg scrambled to get away in time- another explosion from behind sent him reeling.

Wincing, he stood up as Beast Boy raced ahead. He leaped high, then morphed into a lion on the descent towards Red X.

...Cyborg blinked.

_Something_ had happened. It looked like Red X launched another bolt of energy forward, but it had shifted somehow, becoming some kind of viscous, adhesive goop. In the span of a few seconds, the attack had collided with Beast Boy in the air, sent him plummeting, and now kept him pinned to the rooftop. Cyborg growled, leveling the cannon again as his friend struggled through different animal forms in the red substance. Nothing helped- he was completely trapped.

After Red X eluded a few more sonic attacks, Cyborg switched tactics. If ranged fighting wasn't getting anywhere... he dashed forward, watching Raven and Starfire descend out of the corner of his eye. He smiled- with aerial help, and a formation that had Red X surrounded, the Titans would-

The masked villain moved his arm. Quicker than Cyborg could track, two X's flew into the night sky- one bound Starfire's arms to her sides, and the other covered Raven's mouth completely.

It was all he could do to keep running. How on earth did Red X know exactly how to defeat them? The one attack had quickly and efficiently cut off Starfire's flight, as well as her starbolt attack, while the second had neutralized Raven's magic- through it all, Red X hadn't needed to throw a single punch.

He _knew_ them. Somehow, he knew exactly how the team would fight...

No. He was overreacting- after all, the Titans didn't exactly keep their battles away from the public eye. Anyone with a quick eye could pay attention, learning their strengths and powers.

Cyborg balled his hands into fists. Well, Red X would have to be more than quick if he wanted to win this one.

Reaching his target, he swung the first punch wildly, full of anger. The thief dodged to the side, then rushed back in, flipping over him and landing with an agile turn.

Something clicked onto his back.

Ignoring the brief sensation of pain, Cyborg threw his elbow back, hoping to catch Red X by surprise. But the vigilante had slipped under his arm, dashing around him again to appear behind him. Nimble fingers slipped past the circuit board on his back, and-

...His back was open?

Cyborg blinked, suddenly feeling very lethargic. Something was... bad. Not good. "Hey," he slurred. "Who told you how ta... shut me down...?"

Drained of power, he fell forward, landing at an angle that let him see the thief as he ran. He could see the others, as well- Beast Boy straining at the paste that held him down, Raven glaring at Red X in fury, Starfire struggling to escape her bonds.

Red X jumped off the edge of the building-

Gone.

Cyborg narrowed his eyes. He hadn't fallen- he'd turned invisible, somehow. But it seemed more like a cloaking device than anything, as he'd caught traces of light-manipulating activity with his optical sensors. But he knew he was avoiding the implications of what had happened.

No one- _no one_\- knew how to shut him down, except the Titans. Any villain with information like that proved himself exponentially more dangerous than the two-bit criminals they usually encountered. How could Red X possibly know so much?

As Beast Boy slowly pulled himself out of the dissolving substance, and Raven and Starfire helped each other to their feet, Cyborg tried not to think about the fight, but the thoughts kept pushing in. He'd been... helpless. Reduced to nothing, simply watching as Red X walked away without a scratch. The thief had dominated every aspect of the battle, incapacitating every Titan with a single attack, then leaving them frozen in place like they were _beneath_ him.

At that moment, Cyborg hated him.

[]

[]

[]

**Solvent**

[]

"-an' what about that gel-stuff, dude? That's still in my hair! What, ya never thought to use that against the REAL enemies?"

Hand on the doorway, Cyborg sighed. "B, that's enough."

"What? No way!" Beast Boy spun, still pointing an accusing finger at Robin's huddled form against the wall. "This guy- he was- _no way_," he sputtered. "After the stunt he pulled?"

Cyborg approached the other Titans, shaking his head. "I know, alright? But-"

"And another thing!" Beast Boy ignored him, turning back to Robin and glaring. "The least you coulda done is explain what was goin' on! Wait..." He stomped closer, jabbing a finger in Robin's chest. "Is THAT why you kept hiding out in your room? 'Cause you were building this stupid suit like some kinda Slade wannabe? Dude, that's-"

"B." Cyborg grabbed his shoulder. "I said _enough_."

Fuming, Beast Boy slapped his hand away. "You know what? Fine," he said through gritted teeth. "I'll listen to ya, Cyborg. 'Cause that's what I'm supposed to do, right? Whatever the leader says. An' the leader always know best. He'd never do ANYTHING that might-"

He faltered at the look in Cyborg's eyes. "...Whatever," he mumbled, wiping his hand across his eyes as he left the room.

The evidence room was quiet. Robin leaned his head back, grazing against a newspaper article pinned to the wall.

"He'll be okay," Cyborg finally said. "Eventually."

"What about the others?"

He shrugged. "Didn't talk to Starfire yet. Raven... she was gonna come in here earlier. Decided not to."

Robin turned to face him. "Why?"

"She said she didn't want to accidentally kill you."

The corner of his mouth lifted. "Right."

Arms folded, Cyborg gazed down at the Slade mask on the desk. "Rob, this... this ain't like you, man."

"I know."

"You sure?" He glanced up, searching his leader's face. "I mean, didja really think about it?"

Robin rubbed his forehead. "I already apologized. To everyone. I know it's not enough, but it's all I have."

"Not the fight." Cyborg raised his eyebrows. "I'm talkin' about the stealin'. I mean... couldn'a been easy to break the law."

He paused before answering. "It wasn't."

"That's the problem, man." Cyborg turned back to the open door. "You're the most standup guy I know. And now... I gotta look B in the face and explain why this all happened."

Startled, Robin was at a loss for words. "...What?" he managed.

"He asked me-" Cyborg coughed, looking off to the side. "He asked why we bothered upholdin' the law at all, when..."

The moment stretched into an uncomfortable silence. Robin bowed his head.

"Like I said, he'll be okay," Cyborg muttered. "I gotta- sorry." Turning, he headed for the exit.

For a second, Robin closed his eyes. The events of the last few days washed over him, and he let guilt fill his thoughts.

Where did it go wrong?

Soft footsteps made him blink. "Hey, Star."

[]

[]

[]

So, in this episode of Angst Titans, we find Robin angsting over increased activity from the villain Slangst. This causes him to spend more time angsting in his computer room, while the others angst about how he's never around. A thief named Red Angst shows up and causes the Titans no end of angst, working in an angstnership with Slangst for some valuable computer angstchips. The masked vigil-angst-e is revealed as Robin, and the other Titans fall into a deep angstpression.

I kid because I care, guys. Also, it doesn't really matter because this show is _so ridiculously good_.

The way I see it, this episode is split into three parts: Robin's pursuit of Slade turning into a real obsession, Red X entering the picture, and the aftermath of Robin's reveal. That's why I decided to try all three: I really couldn't decide just one or two.

**Major props to TheFoolOnMelancholyHill for a ton of help with the story ideas.**

The relation between Robin and Slade is absolutely amazing, but since I feel like I don't really know that much about Slade yet, I didn't write much about him yet. But good Lord, listen to this guy's dialogue! He had quite a few chilling speeches about **trust** and **patience** in this episode, and the crazy part is _you really believe him_. He's like an evil Yoda.

You guys, this episode is friggin' intense. The Red X skirmishes are fun, but I loved Robin's fight with Slade. It's the end of the episode, the music is dynamic, the animation is stunning, and half the fight takes place in silhouettes in front of a giant red neon sign.

And of course, it ended with Slade being just a robot. And then exploding. "We'll meet some other time.. face to face. Oh, and speaking of time." Ka-boom.

The moment when Starfire discovered the hologram- revealing that Robin lied- was powerful, but the very end is absolutely shocking. Robin's alone in the evidence room, having just been chewed out by the other members of the team. Starfire shows up, and he bitterly asks if she's gonna yell at him too. I expected her to do the opposite, telling him that everyone makes mistakes and that they'll stand with him.

Instead, she says this: "Whoever Slade is... you and he are similar. He did not trust you. And you did not trust us."

She walks away. Roll credits.

Show, you can't do this to me. That's more emotional than half the 'serious' programs on TV today. I'm practically crying here.

[]

**Funny stuff**: if any of this makes you take the episode less seriously, skip it all, because 'Masks' is definitely serious.

-Beast Boy saves Raven in a fight, then gloats: "You owe me big-time, you owe me big-time!" *Cue the Sladebot attacking from behind, that Raven immediately saves him from.

-I am so glad that Beast Boy loves monster movies and cheesy ninja sequels.

-Red X shuts down the whole team, and Cyborg- from the floor- yells, "Yeah, you better run!"

-Okay, they waited a whole DAY to take the x-gag off of Raven. This seems odd.

-Cyborg: "I've adjusted my ocular implant to scan at multiple sub-harmonics in the EM spectrum." Beast Boy gives him a look, then: "Kaaay... do you come with subtitles?"

-During a fight, Red X saves Beast Boy from an oncoming train. Beast Boy: "Dude! Did you just save me?" Suddenly STOMACH-KICK.

[]

What's next? Well, as always, I'll see what the next episode brings. At some point, I'd like to try an original action scene- this one was fun, but it was shot-for-shot what happened in the actual fight.

But yeah, I've only been watching this for nine episodes, and it's already far-and-away one of my favorite shows.


	10. Mad Mod

Season 1, Episode 10

**Bob's Your Uncle**

[]

"Cyborg, stop."

"Huh?" He turned, unceremoniously dropping Mad Mod to the ground. The elderly villain wheezed loudly and tried to regain his footing, hampered by his bound hands.

Robin folded his arms. "Where were you going?"

"Well, ya know-" Cyborg paused, looking off to the distance. "Oh. Right."

The Titans found themselves on top of an oil rig, apparently in the middle of the ocean.

This was something of a problem.

Starfire nervously scanned the horizon. "We... we are in Jump City, are we not?"

"Why don't you ask _him_." Raven glared at Mad Mod, still huddled at their feet.

"Oy, don't worry your 'eads, lovelies," he croaked, sounding much more hesitant and unsure than his holographic avatar. "We've been 'avin' our fun right 'ere in your pretty little town."

"Good." Robin tapped his foot. "Beast Boy."

Perched atop one of the rig's cranes, a bright green seagull tilted its head, then took off. The bird glided gently back to the ground, shifting into human form just before landing. "Can't see nothin'," Beast Boy announced. "Don't you have some Bat-GPS thing?"

"It's shot." The sarcasm went over Robin's head as he grabbed a black device off his belt. "Systems were knocked out in the explosion."

Ignoring Beast Boy's startled '_You actually have a Bat-GPS?',_ Starfire gasped. "What explosion?!"

He scowled down at the handcuffed villain. "Good question. There were so many, I kinda lost track."

Mad Mod grinned, coughing. "Too right, too right. But remember, duckies, it was all part a'the trick, wudn't it? Illusions an' all. Keep that in mind, lad-"

"When we're draggin' you to jail, punk?" Cyborg sneered. "Which I was about to do, 'cept we're stuck on this floating garage!"

Robin sighed. "We're getting off track. Let's try to figure out a way back."

Rolling his eyes, Beast Boy started towards the edge. "I'll try to see how far from shore we are."

"Try not to get hypnotized along the way."

He whirled, gritting his teeth as each Titan innocently looked in different directions. "Who said that?!"

Mad Mod's grating laugh was the only sound. Annoyed, Beast Boy growled and leaped off the side of the rig.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Cyborg snickered. "Not bad, Rae."

"I try."

"Guys, focus." The Titans turned to their leader, and Robin began pacing back and forth. "Mission analysis. What was the major obstacle in Mod's hideout?"

Starfire frowned. "Complex illusions?"

He nodded. "And what was our response?"

"Teamwork," Raven said quietly. "Since we didn't know what to expect from the battle environment, we focused on what we knew- each other, and our attack patterns."

"Oh, clear off!" Robin raised his eyebrows, glancing back down to Mod. "If you lot 'adn'a figured out me 'ologram, why, I'da licked you good!"

Cyborg laughed. "That had nothin' to do with it, man."

Interrupting Mad Mod's confused response, Robin shrugged. "Sorry to burst your bubble, but we knew the whole time.***** This whole thing was an opportunity for combat experience."

The villain gaped, but Robin continued. "In fact, I've been looking for a chance to work on a mission like this. Most of the crazies we tangle with are pretty straightforward- a few quirky powers, or an army of robots. You, on the other hand, gave us quite the puzzle. I wanted to see how the team would deal with logical impossibilities, and they all did exceptionally well."

"Except Beast Boy," Cyborg said cheerfully.

"Well, yes. Obviously."

Struggling to his feet, Mad Mod gave Robin an incredulous look. "Lad, you mean ta say you knew all along?"

"...You fired a _missile_," he said slowly, "and it literally bounced off me. It wasn't tough to figure out."

Cyborg grinned. "Yeah, and I was just itchin' to see how all those machines worked. Some simulation, man. Still ain't sure how you pulled it off."

"For the record, I didn't want to be here at all," Raven offered. "But yeah, I knew too."

Starfire gave a small smile. "I was worried at first," she admitted. "But Beast Boy informed me that this experience would prove most valuable if I wanted to learn more about Earth schools."

Mad Mod shook his head. "That's impossible," he said angrily. "D'you know 'ow much time I spent makin' this place?"

"Fifteen minutes!" They looked up as Beast Boy dropped to the ground. "That's how long it'll take to get a boat out here," he declared. "So what'd I miss?"

"Did you know too?" Mad Mod hissed. "Were you jus' actin' hypnotized?"

"Hm?" Beast Boy glanced over to him. "Oh, no, that was real. I'm a sucker for black and white lines moving really fast."

He said it with such a matter-of-fact tone that the villain didn't know if he was being serious or not. "It was still funny, though," Beast Boy said. "The whole thing. I had a blast. So... thanks, I guess?"

"You lot are gonna pay for this. 'Ow _dare_ you."

He sighed, sitting down on the deck. "Save the banter, dude. We're stuck out here for a while. Plenty of time for revenge threats later."

Starfire looked at the others quizzically. "But we are not all trapped. Surely Robin and Cyborg are enough to keep Mad Mod here?"

"...That's true." Raven blinked, then nodded at Robin. "I'm going to go back and pretend none of this ever happened." Without another word, she rose into the air. Starfire did the same, and with a grin, Beast Boy morphed into a seagull again.

Cyborg frowned. "What, you're just gonna leave us with him?"

"I hate British slang," Robin groaned.

"Oh, you should _not_ 'a told me tha', naughtie."

[]

[]

[]

I would like to make something clear: I have never done acid. But if I did, I think this episode- 'Mad Mod'- is what I would see in my drug-fueled dreams that night.

If you have the chance to watch this, even if you've already seen it, do so. It's completely psychotic. It's a filler episode, sure, but in this case 'FILLER' just stands for '**F**reaking **I**nsane... um... **L**ava **L**amp? ...er...** E**xploding **R**eality.' Wow, I really thought I was gonna pull that one together.

The villain, Mad Mod, is a British schoolteacher obsessed with discipline, who wears a giant Union Jack on his chest, has bright red hair, waves a magic wand around, jumps down banisters, scratches his butt, and has worse Cockney in his accent than the little kids from Les Mis. Also, he dances. A lot. Mad Mod captures the Titans, traps them in a giant hallucination/optical illusion/hologram of a school that's secretly inside a giant mechanical warehouse on an abandoned oil rig in the middle of the ocean, then talks about how he wants to 'teach them a lesson' while actively trying to murder them with missiles, lasers, and CHAINSAWS.

...I am so tempted to say this is the most insane, ridiculous, over-the-top villain I've ever seen. But I won't. Because every time I say that- with Mumbo, Fix-it, the Puppet King, and Trident- I immediately find another that's _even more bizarre. _This show is friggin' taunting me._  
_

***They didn't actually know the whole time**. That was just for the story.

[]

**Funny stuff**: I know Robin's resourceful, but come on: screwdrivers in the fingers of his gloves? That's not Batman-levels of prepared, that's Inspector Gadget.

-Robin quips: "There goes my shot at perfect attendance." That's just one of a billion school-puns; Mad Mod can match ever bad joke Robin throws down.

\- Starfire asks,"Are all the schools on your planet this horrible?" I'm just waiting for Beast Boy to pop up and scream "YES."

-Robin's dodging explosions and certain death, and the music is light and peppy!

-Please tell me 'duckies' is actual British slang. Please. It would make my day. Mad Mod says it about a hundred times.

Sending Raven to Gym class and putting her in sneakers and a jersey was hilarious.

Beast Boy was hypnotized four times. The others: not once. Finally, he's fed up with it, swearing "That demented doofus is never hypnotizing me again!" Of course, he is immediately- within about two seconds- hypnotized again. Sorta obvious, but the joke works.

Mod has paintings and statues of himself everywhere. Stylin'.

Robin, Star, and Cyborg go into epic battle poses, but Raven is left holding a drooling Beast Boy. She just blinks. "Um..."

"...Beast Boy had a brain?" The joke from Raven that broke Beast Boy out of his deepest hypnosis, and even got him to laugh at himself. That's pretty impressive.

[]

Was this oneshot rushed? Probably. Honestly, I'm just excited to keep watching the show- especially after 'Masks'.

This episode is the definition of filler, and not in a bad way. A ridiculous amount of action happens- I thought the episode was nearly over, but it turned out it was only halfway done. Now, it's fair to ask: since this was such a crazy and frantic episode, why was the story I wrote calm and sarcastic? I don't really know. I figured if I tried for crazy, it would pale next to the insanity of 'Mad Mod.'

In short:** It's fun, guys. **Watch it if you have the chance.


	11. Car Trouble

Season 1, Episode 11

**Rollin' Around at the Speed of Sound**

[]

"Hey, Cy."

"Yeah?"

"I was wondering, um... what were you gonna do?"

"With what?"

"The car, dude. If nothing went wrong. What were you gonna do?"

"You know, B- drive around town and stuff. Show you guys all the tricks and turns I threw in there."

"Yeah, but what was it gonna be like?"

"...Hmm..."

...

Lights on.

Engine revs. Speakers up. Garage door, drive, road, drive, street, DRIVE.

Fast.

Flyin', screamin' past these fools. Windows down. Bass boomin'. Highway. Signs, numbers, colors, exits, ramps, gone in a second. Blazin', dog. It's a trip.

Nitro.

FASTER. Fire like a rocket, outta control, outta my head, speed ain't even a thing. Rush.

...Quiet. Dark. Nothin' but headlights, yellow lines zippin' by, deserted road. Stars. Jump City in my mirror. Alone.

Like flyin' through space, baby.

Interface. Car sensors. Connect. _Feel the road_. Potholes, gravel strips, cracks, smooth- every detail. Memorize. Know the highway better than anyone.

...Slowin' down.

Catch my breath. Pull over. Rub my eyes, wakin' up from a dream. Turn around. City lights.

Jump, you beautiful, beautiful racetrack.

Flyin' again. Nitro boost, over an' through the highways like a spark through a wire. Downtown. Bright an' colors. Feels like wind, but the air's not movin'.

I am.

Somethin's goin' down. Crashin'. Loud. Fire. Grittin' my teeth, speedin' around the corner. Heart of the city. Monster. Tearin' up the streets, throwin' fire with black claws an' giant eyes. People runnin'.

Don't slow down.

Lookin' over at me. Growlin'. Standin' taller, bigger, roarin' like thunder an' chainsaws. Fangs, claws, fire outta its mouth.

Wait for it-

Closer. Still ridin' with nitro. Closer. _Closer_.

And... proton cannons.

BOOYEAH.

...

"Cy!"

"Huh?"

"I was asking about the car, remember?"

"Oh, yeah."

"So what's the deal, dude?"

"...It was gonna be awesome."

[]

[]

[]

**Grand Prix**

[]

Three figures stood in a dark alley.

One leaned against the wall, his hulking shape barely hidden by the buildings' shadows. Another sat on the edge of a fire escape, gazing up at the sky and twirling her fingers. The third stood directly in the center of the lane, short stature forcing him to scowl up at the others.

"I dunno why you losers can't figure this out."

The girl sighed. "That's not it, 'Mo. We get the plan fine. It's just..."

"It's an awful plan," the bigger teen rumbled.

The boy's eyes twitched. "You snot-munchers wouldn't know a good plan if it jumped down your pants and-"

"There's no _point_," she interrupted. "The whole thing's kinda random."

Not for the first time, he wished he was tall enough to glare at his companions' eye level. "Since this is obviously too complicated for your crud-grabbing brains to understand, I'll explain again."

The other boy groaned, sliding down the wall to a sitting position. "Don't... just don't. We don't need to hear it, Gizmo."

"_Let's start from the beginning_." Arms crossed behind his back, he paced back and forth, occasionally glancing up at the others. "Those dirt-lickers have a new car, and they went all-out. Gave it top-of-the-line gadgets. A whole _slew_ of shiny new toys. For me, of course."

The girl leaned over the fire escape's railing, bending backward and looking at the boy upside-down. "You sure about this?"

He snorted. "Jinx. Come on. I've had bugs in the Tower for, like, months. Remember when we took over?"

A bored voice sounded out from the opposite wall. "And with all this recon info, you want to... steal a car. Inspiring."

Jinx held up a hand. "Easy, there," she said with a grin. "Let's hear the rest. I forget how this part goes."

Fuming, he glared between them both. "Right," he hissed. "So I'm gonna head to the first random, off-grid racetrack I can find, then wait for the car to show up."

Silence greeted his words. Eventually, Jinx coughed. "Why?"

"Cause it's gonna get stolen. Those scud-dropping idiots'll lose that car faster than Mammoth lost his driver's license, and the thieves are gonna bring it as soon as I show up."

She ignored the deep growl from beside her. "There's no _way_ you could know that, Gizmo. But even if you did, why not just steal it from the Titans?"

Turning, he crossed his arms. "Because I wanna race."

Jinx blinked. "Um... okay. Without a car?"

"No, I'm good." Gizmo pointed a thumb over his shoulder, at the bundle on his back. "I fixed up the Robo-Pack so it can form an entire car. I think I showed you guys last week."

"Oh yeah." She shrugged. "So you win this race, then-"

He shook his head. "No, I'm gonna lose."

Mammoth slapped his forehead. "I give up," he said loudly. "You know what, just- just wake me up when he's done." Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes and pretended to snore loudly.

"_Then_," said Gizmo, pointedly disregarding the other teen, "I steal the car when they don't expect it."

Jinx halfheartedly waved her hand over a hinge near the metal staircase. "Sure, why not," she said lazily. "At this point, that's not that strange. So once you finally have the stupid car, what'll you do next?" She smiled as a screw unloosed itself from the metal bindings.

Gizmo paused. "What?"

The fake snoring stopped- Mammoth glanced up, eyes narrowed in suspicion. "You haven't even thought about it?"

"W-well, uh," he stammered. "I'll probably... rob an ATM! Yeah, that's it! An' then I'll... um... steal food?"

In a flash, Jinx vaulted over the railing, landing in front of him. "Really?" She smiled, leaning down to Gizmo's eye level. "You sure about that?"

Glowering, he took a step forward, bringing his forehead close to hers. . "You know what? I don't need this," he snapped. "It's my plan, and you losers are gonna be sorry you didn't think of it first!"

He stomped away, already reaching to fiddle with the machines sticking out of his backpack. Once he was out of earshot, Mammoth stretched. "Should we stop him?"

Jinx shrugged. "Nah. Let's see how his little idea plays out."

"Hm." Arms crossed, Mammoth considered this. At length, he glanced up. "Our resident genius is kind of an idiot."

[]

[]

[]

Most of the time, I'm able to slide each episode into categories. You know- serious, funny, filler, plot-important, stuff like that. But "Car Trouble" is... sort of everything. It's tricky.

On one hand, Cyborg builds a car and drives it around. Then Gizmo steals that car, and drives around. Not much more happens. On the other hand, there's actually a really heavy discussion about how things that you put work into- really put your heart in- can end up meaning a lot to you emotionally.

When he loses the car, he gets really depressed. Raven comforts him, and they surprisingly share a serious moment wherein she admits that, even if she can't totally understand how a car is so important to him, she can at least respect that it is. It's touching, and I was really taken off guard.

And then... guys, this episode messes with you. You actually start feeling bad for the car. They talk it up so much that, after a while, you realize that you don't want anything to happen to the T-Car.

And the ending completely shocked me. I was SURE that Cyborg was gonna find a way to get his car back. Instead, it gets hijacked by an electricity-based villain named Overload, who _turns the car evil_ before making it face off against Cyborg in an absolutely intense pre-fight stare-down.

Cyborg and the car, now charged with RED LIGHTNING, are at opposite ends of the road. Now, of course, I'm expecting a huge, epic fight that ends in Cyborg rescuing his beloved T-Car. What happens?

He utters, "It's not my car anymore." Raises the sonic arm-cannon.

And completely demolishes the thing with a single blast.

And I'm sitting here, realizing that I'm emotionally invested in this car. I was legitimately sad, and I don't know exactly why. Was it real emotion? Over-the-top? Ironically funny? Parodying something? I have no idea. It was epic, it was ridiculous, and it was awesome. That's all I'm gonna worry about.

Also- even though it was just Gizmo- THE HIVE IS BACK. I can't even tell you how excited I was when I heard him, off-screen, call somebody a 'crud-sniffing loser' just before his first appearance of the episode. This show has the best villains.

[]

**Funny Whatever** (in order, hopefully): At the beginning, Robin, Starfire, and Beast Boy are all gushing over how cool the T-Car is. Suddenly Raven's bored face _fills the entire screen_. "Can we go now?" It's just bizarre.

-Overload's kind of cool, based on man-made electricity and all, but in the middle of fight banter, Cyborg calls him 'Radiohead'. That's a way better name! Also, they defeat him by... throwing lots of water at him? Science?

-**"Get out the butter and jam, Sammy, 'cause this dude's toast!"** I'm dying, you guys. I can't even deal with that. It's the perfect line, and it's the worst line. I love it.

-Gizmo is a Transformer. He... he can do that, everybody. He can turn into a car if he wants.

-Also, he's a stone-cold boss. He freezes the car thieves in some kind of bubble, then saunters up to the car. Grinning, he gets in the front seat. Without a care in the world, he just... drives away. Like it's not even a big deal.

-Cyborg hears that his car did well in the race: "She did? How'd she take the curves? 'Cause, you know, I've been workin' on the suspension for it, an' the d-d-d-d-DON'T TRY TO DISTRACT ME."

_-What were you even planning to do, Gizmo?_ You just... stole a car, then robbed an ATM, then decided to grab some onion rings without paying for them? THAT'S your big crime? And then you just drove around for a while! For no reason! What was the point?

-Cyborg strikes an angry, vengeful pose. "You'll get KETCHUP ON THE SEATS!"

-Gizmo yells, calls Cyborg a hairball, and then farts. Like, it's very clearly a fart. Not that funny on its own, but Raven immediately deadpans, "Okay. Making it _really_ hard to concentrate."

-"Heh! Looks like your stupid car is HYAAGHAAGHCH" Raven ties Gizmo up in his own parachute.

[]

I like to think that- whenever the Titans aren't around to spur them into organized action- the Hive sort of can't stand each other. Just my theory, anyway. It's fun. We have fun here.

Good times all around.

I'm putting a very short, very lame joke in the summary each time I update. Hopefully, it'll be a little easier to tell which episode is which. Or maybe it'll keep anyone from taking this seriously, I dunno.

Next up is 'Apprentice'. Doesn't that sound intriguing...

(Okay, I can't lie, I HAVE heard quite a lot of how this season ends. You can't spend a whole lot of time on this site without running into Apprentice fics, so unfortunately, it's not gonna be a complete surprise.)


	12. Apprentice, pt 1

Season 1, Episode 12

**Without**

[]

They moved like insects.

Dozens of masked robots, mechanic husks painted vibrant orange and startling black, flooded the street. Some raced to block off the road, dragging upturned cars and street signs into rough, hurried barricades, while others remained in the center.

Traffic was beginning to pile up, but many citizens were fleeing the area as well. One of the droids paused, standing near the middle of the lane and glancing up at the midday sun.

Three shadows were streaking towards the ground.

A green blur banked sharply, adjusting its flight course and racing over the heads of the mechs. A cloaked figure drifted slowly to earth, while the third individual remained at a high altitude, hands glowing with energy.

"Titans."

Any robots not already distracted turned, facing the source of the sound. One of Jump City's heroes stood before them, arms crossed.

Everything was under control.

Cyborg grinned dangerously. "Light 'em up."

The emerald flash dropped to the ground, morphing in shape and size- with a crash, a fully-grown gorilla slammed into the pavement, sending up a shockwave that knocked several of the robots off their feet. Beast Boy roared, taking advantage of their stunned reactions by laying hold of a bent parking meter and swinging it like a quarterstaff.

At the same time, vibrant bursts of plasma rattled the ground, colliding with more than a few mechanical torsos. Starfire swooped down, flying close enough to perfect her aim while still keeping out of the enemies' range. Black shrouds of light, otherworldly and glowing, enveloped a destroyed android- eyes alight, Raven directed her magic to propel the metal pieces outward, tearing into their still-fighting brethren.

Through the middle of it all, Cyborg was charging forward. The occasional sonic blast was enough to keep the machines at bay, since most were focused on combating the other Titans- this gave him the chance he needed. A single robot was standing in the center of the street, almost as if it were directing the rest. Cyborg ran faster, eyes never leaving the lone figure.

Everything was under control.

The soldier faced him.

With a growl, Cyborg swung both sonic cannons forward, launching the attacks at slightly different angles to keep the mech from simply dodging. Just before the beams left the weapons, his enemy sprang forward. Flipping above him, the robot landed neatly behind Cyborg and swung a fist without pausing.

As he turned to counter the punch, Cyborg caught a glimpse of the other fights with his mechanical eye. The half-second of video replayed in his vision- Beast Boy's gorilla form crumpling to the ground, overwhelmed by a multitude of blows to the pressure points in his elbows and shoulders. Starfire doggedly throwing more bolts, but eventually dragged down by one robot leaping impossibly high to collide with her back. Raven holding her own, sending magical attacks in every direction, but growing more and more desperate as more soldiers approached.

Everything was under control.

He threw himself into the battle, concentrating solely on dispatching the single android. Even now, he noticed some of the other mechs looking to his one, as if they were waiting for commands.

A plan started to form in his mind. Raising a hand, Cyborg deflected another blow, quickly aiming the opposite arm cannon. Right on cue, the robot quickly moved to one side- allowing Cyborg to catch the machine by the neck, unceremoniously slamming it to the ground.

He gave a grim smile, panting with exhaustion. "Let's see how the snake fights without a head."

Reaching down, he prepared to tear into the robot's helmet.

**"I was wondering the same of you."**

Startled, he backed away. The low, almost calm voice emanating from the half-smashed mask immediately conjured up memories of the recent weeks. "What do you want?" Cyborg snarled.

A chuckle barely reached him over the sounds of battle. **"I told you. I was... curious to know how the Titans would fight without-"** A burst of static cut through the words. **"And you didn't disappoint."**

Everything was... under control...

Cyborg cursed. "You know where he is?"

**"Of course."**

Before he could respond, the communicator in his arm sounded. "Dude, takin' some heavy fire over here," Beast Boy yelled. Looking over to the fight, Cyborg could barely see his friend behind the masses of robots.

Nearly overlapping Beast Boy's words, Raven's voice flared to life. "We need a new plan of attack," she said quickly. "They're changing formation. We can't fight split up like this." A horrible metal grinding sound preceded the end of the transmission.

Cyborg stared down at the machine before him.

Under control, under control, under-

"Raven is correct!" Starfire said, pain evident in her words. "Cyborg, Robin, we need your assistance!"

No one corrected her.

A guttural howl escaped Cyborg's throat, and he swung his fists down on the robot's head. The metal split easily- whatever the voice had been about to say, it died with a burst of electricity.

He got to his feet, glaring at the battles still raging. Maybe it was useless to pretend he could control it all. Maybe nothing would be the same. Maybe he could never replace their leader.

...There was no 'at least'. No hopeful look into the future, no lesson to be learned. Only the absence that each of the Titans felt as strongly as an open wound.

Leveling the sonic cannons, Cyborg rushed into the brawl again.

[]

[]

[]

I'm guessing it's safe to say everybody knows what this episode is about.

The first part (and I haven't seen the second yet) ends with Robin as Slade's apprentice, but the others don't know it yet. That's where I decided to stick this action scene- in the gap of time when they haven't had to fight him. I'm just assuming they will in the next episode.

Way back in chapter 3, I complained about how I wanted to do a oneshot examining how the team might react with Robin gone. Well, geez, I guess I got my wish. And I feel awful about it: this episode was emotionally exhausting.

The opening is amazing. It's a dreamscape, beautifully animated, full of stone platforms and pillars in a surreal shade of purple. Robin fights Slade- those silhouettes show up again, lending to another fantastic fight sequence- and then we arrive at a chilling moment. Slade taunts Robin, telling him they're 'So alike.'

Robin glares down at him. "I'm nothing like you! All you care about is destruction!"

Slade gestures to a completely shattered landscape, damaged by their wild fight. "And all you care about, you destroy."

_I love this show._

Robin is completely obsessed with finding Slade, to the point where the others actually call him out and tell him to stay behind. Red X is mentioned, but Robin can't even bring himself to apologize, only saying, "It won't happen again."

And then Robin takes out an ENTIRE ARMY of robots, all at once. It would be annoying if they just played it up as "Oh, look at me, I'm awesome," but instead, they actually take time to look at the mental consequences. This show is seriously considering what would push a 'hero' to such violent extremes. That's amazing. And if that's not enough, Robin is _losing his mind_: he assaults some random dock worker, throwing him against the wall and demanding information about Slade. It gets so bad that Raven has to magically toss _him_ against the wall.

In a moment of I-suddenly-respect-Beast-Boy-more, the kid stares Robin in the face and tells him he's acting like Slade. Wow.

And when their epic fight finally happens? Slade puts the detonator on the ground, then just _waits_. He's infuriating, and he's definitely one of the best villains I've ever seen.

Then, of course, there's the whole twist of the episode. There was no freakin' detonator. You have to be _kidding_ me. I mean, like I said, I (unfortunately) knew that Robin would somehow end up as Slade's apprentice, but this was brilliant. Slade played these guys like absolute fools, knowing that Robin would demand the other Titans go after the bomb instead of helping him. AND he knew Robin would follow the coordinates on Cinderblock's GPS thing.

Slade is a boss. ""But if you disobey even the smallest request, I will _annihilate them_, Robin. And I'll make you watch. So... do we have a deal?"

That's terrifying.

[]

**Funny stuff:** So Slade calls the Titans specifically so he can tell them his plan? Because he KNOWS they can't figure it out? That's incredible. This guy is so good at being bad.

-Beast Boy accuses Robin of acting like Slade. It's a tense moment. They're staring each other down, and it looks like they might actually start fighting... Then Starfire has a radioactive sneeze that destroys half the docks.

-SLADE'S VOICE IS LIKE THE CHILD OF MORGAN FREEMAN AND MARK HAMILL. It's like every time he talks, he's drinking molasses and murdering a kitten at the same time.

-"You'll _learn_ to _like_ it." Slade's voice is already verging on creepy, you guys. With lines like this, I suddenly understand why there's so much slash of the two of them on the Net.

-Beast Boy: "What's a crouton detonator?"

-Cyborg: "I will NOT be havin' attitude from a boat!" I don't even remember the context for this one. So, you can just take it as is.

[]

Guest: Since I have no way to message you or anything**, thanks for reviewing!** And to everyone else, too- it really means a lot.

This episode was just as intense as 'Masks', if not more. On to part 2.


	13. Apprentice, pt 2

Season 1, Episode 13

**Oh, Death**

[]

I'm losing my mind.

My friends scream in pain, falling to the ground as harsh red light billows from their skin. The blood in their veins is trying to rip itself out, and there's nothing I can do to stop it.

...

_Batman gives me an impassive look. "Think, Robin. When did it happen?"_

_I slowly rise to one knee. "I don't know," I say through gritted teeth. _

_His voice echoes off the stone walls of the training room. "There was one moment. One single instant. You lost focus, and it cost you. What was it?"_

_"Just tell me!" I hiss. I know my exhaustion is getting the better of me, but I don't care. "I don't know, alright?"_

_"Wrong." He takes a step closer. "Think."_

_A grunt of pain turns into a yell without words, and I stagger to my feet. Both fists raised, I slip into the defensive position we've been practicing. "Again!" I demand.  
_

_Suddenly, he's right in front of me, knocking away my arms as well as my feeble attempts to strike back. "Robin, stop." When I don't, his hand lashes out, pinning me to the wall. "Listen."  
_

_The spikes on his glove are digging into my shoulder. "It wasn't one moment," I snarl, ignoring the pain. "I failed. The whole fight, I messed up, I get it." _

_"No." He glares down at me, the shadows covering his eyes. "A blow caught you off guard, and you fell. At that second, you had a choice- retreat for more time, attack my footing, or regain your own. You hesitated."_

_My breath catches. "Sorry," I mutter._

_"Don't be. Adapt. Learn." He turns, taking slow strides across the room. "A single instant can mean the difference between life and death. Your own survival, or others'. You'll have to think, but you can't afford to lose time."  
_

_"But the wrong move could make it all go wrong." I wait for my breathing to slow down. "How do you-" I break off, coughing. "How do you make that decision? How do you eliminate the risk?"_

_Finally, he faces me again. "You don't. You never can. Even so, you have to choose."  
_

...

When I saw them- when they marched into Slade's lair, boldly declaring that they were here to save me- my heart stopped. Hope appeared in my mind, but terror froze my body. Anger. Fear. Joy.

And when Slade hit the button, and they-

They fell.

_"Dude, this is so cool! I can't believe I'm meeting you, man!"_

Memories flood my vision.

_"...Yes. I've heard of you. My name's Raven."  
_

I've heard stories, of life _fading_ from someone's eyes. I thought it was dramatic. Just a weak way of giving voice to an impossible feeling.

But now I'm watching it happen.

_"Yo, boss man. Call me Cyborg."_

I can't... I can't do this. I can't watch them die.

_"I do not wish to be rude, but... are all Earth heroes named after the birds?"_

I sink to my knees, unable to tear my eyes away from the glow before me. The death. Slow, lingering, taunting, killing me because I know I can't stop it. I can't save them.

I almost wish it would just end.

NO!

No, _no_, I can't think that. I can't. I _know_ I can't, but it's true- part of me wants this to be over. This nightmare, this insane dream that started when Slade found a way to get death itself into my friends' blood... I want it to end.

And part of me is slowly starting to admit that there's no way out. No way to win. I can't get to Slade- he'll just kill them faster. I can't defeat him physically. I can't get to the controller. Mentally, he's in complete control. His will is stronger than mine- this hesitation proves it.

I've lost.

"This is the price of your disobedience, Robin."

I don't turn around. His voice sets me on edge, the way it always does, but this time there's something else. Instead of anger, or even hate, I feel... despair. He knew he had won from the beginning. I just haven't admitted it until now.

And his words- is this my fault? Are they dying because of me?

"Now, do as I command!"

Of course they are. After all, I couldn't save them.

The other Titans aren't even looking at me now. All four of them have collapsed, on their hands and knees or curled up on the ground, bodies wracked with pain.

"Attack!"

I barely hear him. What choice is this? Kill them, or watch them die?

Kill them, or watch them die.

Kill them, or watch them die.

THERE'S NO WAY OUT.

I close my eyes.

...

For a moment, I shut down.

_Think_.

Choose.

Risk.

Slade is stronger. Faster. In control. I can't defeat him, so I have to outsmart him.

I swear I'm locked away, screaming and raging while the cold, rational part of my mind keeps working. There has to be something he's taking for granted. Something he assumes, that he doesn't expect to change-

It's me.

For the first time in months, I feel like a detective.

I breathe deep. "...No."

He's surprised when I start running. I think he is, anyway- for a second, he freezes. Unsure. Hesitating. Even that tells me I'm somehow in control now.

But when I understand my own plan, when I approach the red glass, when I feel the static charge of lightning flying over my head, I know I'm gambling my life. I could die at any second.

It's... freeing.

I reach out, straining to touch the surface. I don't let go when the pain thunders, flooding every nerve and setting my skin on fire. I don't turn away as the probes seep through my bloodstream. I don't cry out when the energy crashes against me like an explosion.

Several shuddering, halting steps bring me back to Slade. I can barely stand, but I do my best to stare him down.

I threaten him. I taunt him. I declare my victory.

He throws the controller away.

...

I can't move.

It's over. The fear, held back and kept away, comes rushing back in only to find itself swallowed up by relief. It's _over_.

He_ threw it away._

This isn't real. I'm dreaming, and I'll wake up to Slade's next mission, and my friends are still in danger-

A kick snaps me out of my thoughts. Unconsciously, I block the strike, sending Slade reeling backwards.

It's not until they line up behind me that I know. The nightmare is over. I'm free. They're safe.

I finally find my voice, allowing a smile to break through.

"Titans... go."

[]

[]

[]

What a way to end a season!

This show is incredible. This _episode_ is incredible. Where to start?

**Non-main stuff:** First of all, I noticed that even as the apprentice, Robin never attacked Starfire. Not once. And later, she offered to give up her own life if he was actually evil... Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?

Slade says he'll become like a father to Robin, who responds, "I already have a father." Cut to a bunch of bats flying away. Awesome.

Sherlock Holmes Beast Boy is fantastic. He deduces that, logically, Robin must be a robot, a mind-controlled zombie, or a "DISGRUNTLED RADIOACTIVE CLONE."

**Main stuff**: Here we go. First, Robin literally couldn't even talk to the others- that was painful. Also, a lot of stories use the bad-guy-good-guy-"We're not so different" trope, but here, it really works. Slade has a point: They both use fighting, betrayal, and deceit to get what they want, and Robin actually does love the thrill of working outside the law. Heck, Red X proved that.

At one point, Slade says, "Robin. That was vicious, dishonorable, and ruthless... Excellent work." Absolutely chilling. This is one of the best villains I've ever seen.

When the Titans showed up at the end- they know they have death-bots in their blood, and that they might die, and they don't care because helping Robin is more important- I nearly cried, guys. I don't care if it was a little cheesy. It was amazing.

But dang, Robin actually figured it out! He found the loophole, outsmarting Slade when I didn't think there was any possible way to win. Brilliant writing.

"New deal, Slade. If I lose my friends, you lose your apprentice. And I know how you _hate_ to lose." BEST LINE OF DIALOGUE IN THE WHOLE SEASON.

Finally, how do we cap off Season 1 of the show? With Starfire admitting that she doubted Robin- thinking that maybe he was like Slade- and Robin admitting that yeah, he actually kind of is. Wow. That's kind of heavy stuff.

(I've decided to scrap the 'joke in summary' idea. It doesn't fit with the tone, and looks bizarre. I think I'll keep those jokes, though, and put them in some kind of collection later. I dunno. We'll see.)

**Future**: Well, I happened to finish up Season 1 right at the beginning of summer, which is awesome. That took, what, 2 months? So if I speed up a little- now that I don't have homework and finals and stuff- maybe I'll be able to get through seasons 2 and 3 before summer's done. Who knows?

The point is, this finale rocks, and also **thanks a ton for reading this**. Any of them, really. I'm kinda new to the whole 'series of oneshots' idea, so it means a lot that anyone at all is reading, commenting, stuff like that. As always, feel free to criticize with any suggestions, problems, or even straight-up flames. I don't mind. Get it all out, people. It's healthy.

You guys are the best, and thanks again!


	14. How Long Is Forever?

Season 2, Episode 1

**Timeline  
**

[]

**Emergency Power Cell: 52%**

Not enough.

"Well, maybe if you wouldn'a got in my _way_, dude, things'd be fine!" Beast Boy plants a hand on Robin's chest, shoving him back before stalking away from the door.

Cyborg holds his head in his hands.

"That's not what we're about, Beast Boy." Robin starts to follow, and his footsteps echo in the Tower's main room. "We're a team, and-"

"_Course_ we are, Rob! Hey, think I should get your okay before each fight? S'it okay if I stop this bank robbery, team leader? Do I have permission to take this guy out before he friggin' _shoots_ you, team leader?" He doesn't turn, venting his sarcasm towards the great window overlooking Jump City. "Or maybe I should just check with you before every punch, huh? How's that sound? Can I morph, Rob? Can I jump this monster, Rob? Can I actually use my friggin' powers and _be a friggin' hero_-"

"STOP IT!"

Cyborg looks up. Robin is standing in the room's center, red-faced and nearly shaking. Raven hasn't said a word. Beast Boy is still partially turned, staring at the Titans' leader over his shoulder.

"...That's not what we're about," Robin repeats. "You can't keep being so reckless, and you know it. You're putting the rest of the team in danger every time you ignore orders."

There's a tremor in his words. Beast Boy doesn't blink. "Do you even hear yourself?" he says scornfully. "It's always the same with you, man. Orders. Plans. Run from A to B, then wait for reinforcements, then limp back home because _oh look_, your precious plan didn't work. Well, I'm done with plans."

Cyborg tries to think of what to do. How he can help. This isn't just post-battle talk, with two different personalities butting heads like they always do. There's an edge to both voices, a dangerous gleam to the eyes.

Beast Boy laughs, but he's not smiling. "And maybe I should be done with this team, too."

**Emergency Power Cell: 51%**

"What?" Cyborg's head jerks up, and he stares at his friend. "B, you- you can't. You're not serious, right?"

"He said it, man. You heard him." Beast Boy glances back to the leader. "I'm putting you guys in danger, after all."

"That's not what he meant," Raven says quietly.

Robin isn't saying anything.

"...Rob? That's not what you meant, right?" Cyborg does his best to ignore the gnawing, cold sensation of fear.

He waits just a second too long. "Of course not."

"_Dude_." Beast Boy's staring at him, with something like wonder in his expression. "You... you seriously don't care if I leave or not, do you?"

Scowling, Raven steps forward, but he continues. "An' it's not because you hate me or somethin'. No, it's-"

Pause.

**Emergency Power Cell: 50%**

Beast Boy slowly breathes out. "I _get_ it, man."

Robin's voice is still wavering, weaker than it should be. "What are you talking about?"

He glances between the other two, keeping their eyes on him. "Gotta be honest, Rob. Did some snooping, wound up in your room, and I found somethin' weird."

Beast Boy brings his focus back to Robin. "Blueprints. For a new suit."

He lets the words fill the air. "Dude, I didn't figure it out 'till now. You're gettin' ready to go out on your own- just like me."

Robin doesn't object.

**Emergency Power Cell: 49%. External Power Source Required.**

Cyborg pushes away the thought that everything is falling apart. "Is..." He can't finish the question.

"Is it true?" He sees Raven ask instead, a look in her eyes that's never been there before.

He wonders what Robin is thinking. The mask doesn't move, but he can imagine their leader's eyes, darting back and forth while the Titans- the team, who trust him with their lives- watch him in return. Waiting for an answer.

"That doesn't matter now," Robin says weakly. "We have more important-"

**External Power Source Required.**

Beast Boy starts across the room. The action seems to drain all sound from the air, leaving Robin's words to trail off into nothing. He hesitates near the entryway, as if about to say something. Maybe a goodbye.

Then he sets his gaze ahead, striding through the door.

Silence. Robin turns, and eventually leaves as well.

Maybe to stop him.

**External Power Source Required.**

Maybe to follow the same path.

"Are... are they really gone?" Cyborg blinks, startled, when Raven's voice filters through his thoughts. She's closer to the wall now, almost huddling against it as she stares at the empty doorway. "They'll come back, won't they?"

Of course they will.

**External Power Source Required.**

No, they won't.

I don't know.

I'm sorry.

Cyborg doesn't say any of these things. He simply moves closer, slowly extending his arm. Raven shuffles to the side and leans back, letting the metal hand fall across her shoulders. "They'll... come back..."

**External Power Source Required.**

Cyborg holds his friend close.

[]

[]

[]

This is the saddest episode I've watched so far.

I wasn't ready, either. I'm thinking, 'Oh, new season, probably start things off with some goofy small-time villains for Robin to sling one-liners at, right?' And when Warp shows up... yeah, that's what happens. It's a good time.

But then.

I was not ready for a broken-down Tower. A Cyborg who literally can't leave without dying. A frozen Jump City. The saddest soundtrack I've ever heard. It's heartbreaking, and it only gets worse: Beast Boy has exiled himself to a traveling circus's sideshow, where he does tricks and tries to avoid the rocks that people throw at him. In a cage. A freaking cage.

Raven's no better off. She's become paranoid, hiding away from the world and even refusing to believe Starfire when she tells her that she's there to help.

"It is Starfire! Your friend!"

"...No...such...thing."

And to cap it all, the other Titans come back to help even though they know they're going to stop existing. Heck, Cyborg's probably going to die first since he left the Tower's power supply.

I mean, yeah, eventually everything's okay, but _man_ it's tough to watch. There's some funny moments, and Starfire saves the day like a boss, but honestly, that's all completely overshadowed by how incredibly sad this story is.

**Lighthearted stuff!**: Well, seeing Nightwing was pretty cool. Helped me stop bawling for a while.

In the beginning of the episode, I'm pretty sure Starfire's alarm clock was Mumbo. (As you may remember, he's basically my favorite. Mumbo Mumbo Mumbo.)

Robin stares at a boombox, frowning like it's done something wrong. This is not explained, and I love it.

"Great, Robin. More yelling will definitely stop all the yelling." Raven gets sarcastic when she's mad.

Starfire rattles off like three different phrases in Tamaranean, and Beast Boy just blinks. "Um... gesundheit?"

Time travel literally looks like flying past a bunch of clocks. Why didn't I think of that?

"You just ran out of time!" Even twenty years in the future, Robin's still obsessed with puns.

Warp... turns into a baby. I don't know why. Baby Warp.

At the end, instead of somberly contemplating his future, or agonizing over the horrible things Starfire has seen, Beast Boy freaks out about going bald. That's what he's worried about. Classic.

Starfire celebrates friendship by draping colored cloths and stuff over Raven, who deadpans, "Okay, I feel like a windchime."

**Logistics**: It seems I accidentally derped away three weeks. Sorry about that. But hey, I finally got started with Season 2, so... focusing on the positives, I guess?

Moving right along. Hopefully to something a little happier.

Next: Every Dog Has His Day. Sounds promising, I guess?


	15. Every Dog Has His Day

Season 2, Episode 2

**Said the Joker to the Thief  
**

[]

Okay. Okay, this is... okay.

Wow, my head hurts.

Let's see, just- gotta figure out where I am. Alright. Can't see much, kinda dark, but-

Oh. Sheesh, okay, that's bright. 'Let there be light', I guess WOW GEEZ WHAT THE HECK IS THAT THING.

This guy's huge- no problem, I can deal with giant monsters. Every day. _All'a_ time, yo. No sweat. But he's kinda...

Oh, man. He's- I think he's a baby.

No, seriously, he's a baby. He's talkin' like a baby, and this whole room is set up like a nursery or something.

Aaaand he's now crying.

...Just, uh... Freakin' out a little bit here. Okay, _okay_, keep it together. Go through what I know.

You better friggin' appreciate this, Rob. I'm calmly assessing the situation or whatever.

Some kinda spaceship, I guess? And this dude's lookin' at me funny, an'-

...What?

Oh no. NO. Not a chance. I'm not about t'do tricks for this nutjob like some kinda OW OW SUNNAVA OW

...

_Ow_.

What the heck was that?

Alright, new information. I'm stuck with some kinda collar, and he can electrocute me whenever he wants, but it's like a laser, so I can't break it. Whatever, I'll just morph and slip out.

Here we go.

...

...Crap.

_Crap_.

Crap crap CRAP.

Tiger. Bear. Fish. Pterodactyl. Monkey, beetle, hawk, T-Rex, mountain goat, tortoise, shark, giraffe, OH COME ON.

Are you _kidding_ me with this nonsense right now?

Dangit. And now he's laughing. Fantastic.

...Okay, let's figure this out. Just, uh, think. Come on, Beast Boy, _think_. The collar gets smaller or bigger, and it always stays on my neck, so I can't get away, but maybe I could-

Could nothin'. Ugh, this is impossible. Can't break the collar, can't mess with the laser, can't do _anything_. Man, I'm exhausted- but what haven't I tried yet?

Wait, what? Whoa, whoa, WHAT, are we flying? Are we off the ground right now?

I think we're flying.

This sucks.

...

...mm... hm? What?

Geez, think I fell asleep there for a sec.

Right. Escape plan. Let's do it.

Come on, brain, work. We've friggin' trained for this. Robin drills lists of animals into my head till I can recite 'em backwards, 'cause he thinks I'll need 'an animal for every situation', so I should be able to do SOMETHING here.

Is there- s'there anything with, like, a detachable neck? Is that a thing? Wait, I might die, that's no good. Forget it.

Still, there's gotta be-

FRICK!

...

Okay, something definitely just crashed into the ship. That's good, I think. Maybe bad too. I mean, yeah, the ship's plummeting, but that could go either way. Wonder what hit us?

Oh, oh, hey! HEY! He's leaving! Now's my chance!

...If I could DO anything. As is, I'm just kinda sitting here, at the mercy of my own dang neck, and-

Wait a sec.

Just... just an idea, but maybe. Alright, focus. Focus. _Two-headed black rat snake. _

Aw, shoot, this is gonna be tough. Tryin' to remember one specific animal I learned about, not a whole species, 'cause this has only happened a few times. Can't mess up and imagine somethin' else.

Okay.

...

Okay. Doin' this. Right now.

...

Aw, baby! It worked! 'K, now we gotta figure out . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Aw, baby! It worked! 'K, now we gotta figure out  
what to do next. Got one neck in the collar, and one . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . what to do next. Got one neck in the collar, and one  
out, so... Shoot. Didn't really plan this all the way . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . out, so... Shoot. Didn't really plan this all the way  
through. Wait, am I- do I have two brains right now? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . through. Wait, am I- do I have two brains right now?

AAAAAAAAAGH!

WHOA. Just... eugh. That was awful. Never again.

I think I've got it. The brains are synchronized or something, probably. Gonna focus on the head that is _not_ trapped in an indestructible torture device, and if I did this right, my human neck will show up where the free neck was, and I should...

Slip-

Right-

Out-

...

I... I got it!

I'm out!

WHAAAAAAT?! THAS'RIGHT, FOOL! YOU JUST GOT SERVED! LEASHES AIN'T ABOUT'A HOLD ME DOWN!

Who'zat boy who just broke outta friggin' space prison? WHY THAT WOULD BE DA BEAST BOY!

Man, I'm feelin' good. Feel like I could go fight off that babygiant guy without even _oh crap the Titans are probably fighting him right now!_

Lessee. I'm thinkin' elephant, then T-Rex, an' maybe a little kangaroo thrown in there so I can work on my rad kickboxing skills. Gotta keep the battles fresh, y'know?

Aw, yeah. I am _back in the game_.

[]

[]

[]

At first, I had a major problem with this episode. There's kind of a big plothole- it isn't explained how the heck Beast Boy escapes that collar- but then I thought: Am I really just gonna sit here and complain about that? Maybe they wanted to leave some things to the imagination!

So, here we are. My version of one possible way Beast Boy could have escaped.

Anyway, this one was tough to put in a category. It seemed to start out pretty serious, with Beast Boy being depressed because none of the other Titans want to spend time with him... but then it just turns into insanity. Talking British dogs, the aforementioned baby-giant, four of the five Titans following the COMPLETELY WRONG IDEA for most of their screen time... let's start at the beginning.

B tries to hang out with each of the others, one at a time, and is turned down. "Okay, well, if nobody needs me, I'm heading downtown! Crazy party in the big city! Anybody wanna come with? Yes? No? Anybody?" And his voice just... echoes. It's actually a pretty powerful moment, with the music and art style- some clever use of shadows and light and stuff- making it a very lonely-looking scene.

For a solid ten minutes or so- like, half the episode- Robin and the others are convinced that this green dog is Beast Boy, and they're chasing it all over the city. It's an understandable mistake, but since the audience already knows it's not really him, it's kinda tough to watch. They're all taking it so seriously- 'Split up, so we can find him faster!' and such- and I'm just thinking, "Dude, it's just a _dog_."

Which... turned out to be an alien.

Last main point: Soto is weird. I mean, seriously-disturbing-weird. At first, he openly agrees to let Beast Boy go, but then he starts zapping him and demanding that he do changing tricks to keep him amused. And then, holy crap, he actually has baby toys set up in the spaceship. That sorta creeped me out, to say the least. The crying and acting like a bratty kid didn't help, either- especially since this character looks more like the Rockbiter from Neverending Story then an adorable baby.

And he says stuff like 'Soto want up, not down!' I dunno. It was unsettling, for me. The villain of the story basically had the mind of a two-year-old.

**Lightheared stuff**: Wow, Beast Boy picked the WORST moments to talk to the others. Jumpin' in front of the target Robin's about to roundhouse kick? Sure, why not! Plop down right in front of the blowtorch that Cyborg is using to fix the T-Car? Sounds like a plan! Interrupt Raven when she's meditating (not to mention the _sneaking into her room_)? Nothing can possibly go wrong!

-Beast Boy sees girls fawning over a dog. "Lucky dogs. Sure wish I was a- OKAY DUH!"

-The alien dog licks Raven's face. Like twenty times. It just keeps going, and for some reason... it gets funnier. I mean, she eventually realizes she can't stop it, and they actually use it to trap him. She holds out her arms, looking absolutely miserable, and mutters, "Here, doggy... here, doggy doggy..."

-Trying to capture the green dog (which they still think is Beast Boy), Robin whispers, "Careful, everybody! We don't want to hurt him."

Raven just glowers. "...Speak for yourself."

-You guys, this alien dog talks like Frasier Crane. Very proper and sophisticated. Even when saying lines like, "On the contrary. I only returned for my squeaky toys."

-Starfire is mad strong! Pushin' down a spaceship like it ain't no thing! That is awesome.

**Other whatever**: You know how I basically love pretty much all the villains on this show? Well... Soto the wailing alien child-man-giant-infant may have broken that streak. He's just- he's kind of annoying, guys. I'm sorry to say it.

Next up: The title is just Terra. Hm...


	16. Terra

Season 2, Episode 3

**Before: Fault**

[]

Once upon a time, there was a young girl with dirt in her hair.

_Or maybe it just looks that way. I don't really know anymore._

The girl didn't have many friends, but she still had a heart that wanted to help people.

_Yeah, for all the good it's done me._

The girl was living alone when she heard some startling news.

_Airports, malls, whatever, you just gotta lose yourself in the crowds, then lose yourself further when the sun goes down and everyone heads home and the security guards are just waiting for their shift to end._

She was very good at pretending. Today, she pretended that the news was not surprising.

_All it takes is a phone, just a phone and some jittery thumbs and suddenly everyone assumes you're only texting, or playing dumb games or browsing whatever social media is popular this week. After all, why would a teenage girl be checking local news sites and emergency alert networks?_

The girl thought that maybe she could do something.

_"Cave-In Outside Los Angeles Suburb: Six Trapped Inside."_

She left, hoping it wouldn't be too late to help.

_Hoping I could move the planet under my feet fast enough to get there before anyone starts suffocating._

There were lots of people waiting for her.

_Some of 'em just babble at me, shaking my shoulders and talking too fast. One lady just... looks away, like she can't stand to see other people. "My son," she says over and over. "My son."_

They didn't know that the girl with dirt in her hair was special.

_Running up to the wall of collapsed earth, fighting past emergency workers and people trying to keep me away- 'for my own safety' or something, yeah right- pressing both hands onto the surface, focus, wait, concentrate, see it-_

This girl was born to help others.

_-and I can see it all, I know where they are and how to get there and what to move and how to move it-_

She worked very hard.

_-opening a new tunnel, shifting the earth wherever it needs to go to create an escape, holding it all together, waiting, waiting, waiting-_

And because she was so special, and so strong, and so kindhearted...

_The first face, covered in dust and scrapes and blood, looks back at me, and there's no smile, but there's hope._

She saved them.

_The last one leaves, and now they're all watching, cheering, thanking me, and all I need to do is-_

But something had gone wrong.

_-just let go, that's all that's left, let the tunnel fall back down and walk away, but I-_

The girl was afraid.

_-I can't-_

The people around her started to be afraid, too.

_-they're watching me my eyes are glowing why can't I let go what's wrong they're all watching me stop watching me-_

Some of them even ran away.

_-it's too strong, I can't stop it, the earth is still moving, not just the collapsed tunnel, everything's moving, farther and farther and I can feel the tremors and I can feel-_

They wondered if the girl with dirt in her hair might be dangerous.

_-a fault line._

They were suspicious, thinking maybe she was going to hurt them.

_No, stop, stop attacking the line, the earth is moving towards it and shaking and rippling and I CAN'T STOP IT-_

When she started to look different, they left her alone and scared.

_My eyes are burning and I can feel floating I'm floating still holding on to the earth it's all shaking it's falling apart losing control shifting fault lines earthquake-_

...

Later, when the girl was herself again, she looked around and didn't see any people.

_They hate me, of course they do. They should._

It wasn't long before she got some more news.

_Force of habit. The phone is out before I realize what I'm doing, flipping through to find the alert, reading before I can stop myself-_

It wasn't very good news.

_"Major Earthquake Hits Downtown LA: Hundreds-"_

The girl felt sad, and thought the bad things had happened because of her.

_I can't look. Can't keep reading. Hundreds evacuated? Injured?_

She had tried to help people.

_Dead?_

She'd tried to be a hero.

_..._

The girl with dirt in her hair started running.

[]

[]

[]

**During: Smile  
**

[]

Raven happened to walk past the window in the morning.

That was all, she told herself. No agenda, no desire to check up on anyone. Random chance.

Cyborg glanced up from the couch to see her eyebrows furrow in confusion. "What's up, Rae?"

"Have they been out there all night?"

On the shore of the island, two figures stood out against the gleaming light of ocean waves. Beast Boy was sitting on the sand, gazing out over the bay, while Terra seemed to be looking down in thought.

Cyborg idly flipped through TV channels. "What, were they out there last night too?"

Keeping her expression neutral, Raven shrugged. "Maybe. I didn't notice."

Terra leaned over, probably saying something, and Beast Boy moved. It was difficult to tell from so far away, but it looked like he was now on all fours, crouching like a cat.

"Gotta reason you don't trust her?"

The question surprised her. But that was Cyborg, she supposed- never one to waste words when he could get to the point. "Do you have a reason you do?" she retorted, quickly realizing how harsh the question was.

But he just laughed. "Fair 'nuf."

A faint yell drew her attention back to the window. A pillar of earth had sprung up beneath Beast Boy, and he was clinging to the surface as he soared upwards. After a few seconds, the soil dissolved, crumbling into dust while its rider continued skywards by his own momentum.

Raven blinked. Just another game. Of course. Clearing her throat, she turned back to the main room. "Robin's not so sure either."

"I got Starfire," Cyborg said immediately. He glanced away from the TV to catch Raven's blank look. "Oh, sorry. Thought we were choosin' teams for the Trust-Terra Tournament."

A half-smile pulled at her mouth. "I hope that wasn't supposed to be funny."

"Hey, come on. Somebody's gotta take over for B in the bad jokes department. Kid's a little distracted, if you haven't noticed." He laughed again. "Speakin' of which, I'm pretty sure which team Romeo over there's gonna choose."

Back on the shore, Beast Boy had morphed into... a chicken? Yes, Raven was fairly confident that the green shape awkwardly fluttering and floating to the ground was, in fact, a chicken. Terra was laughing, head thrown back and smiling into the sun, when he finally hit the ground and changed back.

Raven paused. Something in his expression, something in the way he laughed with her... There was nothing but joy in his eyes.

Behind her, Cyborg had risen and moved to the window as well. "Man," he said, "I can't remember the last time I've seen him that happy."

Raven said nothing.

[]

[]

[]

**After: Fall  
**

[]

He'd been here before. He was sure of it.

Beast Boy started down the dark tunnel, glancing around at the earthen walls. Once in a while, a shimmering light would catch his eye, and the more he looked, the more ice-blue diamonds appeared in the soil.

He'd seen all this, but when?

It only got darker as he continued forward. Soon there was nothing but the diamonds, somehow glowing without any other light.

That was impossible, though, right?

The diamonds started moving.

Was it just a dream?

Faster and faster, the shining stones spun around him in a vortex of light. Brighter, brighter, and then a flash of color-

Terra.

She was levitating, arms outstretched in the center of an enormous cavern. Eyes full of piercing yellow light, she was screaming, Beast Boy _knew_ she was screaming, but it was drowned out by the roaring sounds around her. The diamonds were now boulders, flurries of dust, explosions of sand and earth, all flying as the sound of grinding rock obliterated any other noise.

For a second, he was paralyzed, unable to move. _Screams and dreams_, he thought dully._ Screams in dreams._

But if it was a dream- if he'd been here already- what was supposed to happen next?

He was running already, oblivious to it all. Shards of stone tore at his skin, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from her.

The girl, floating underground. The one who'd warned him.

_"So you can't always control your powers." He shrugged. "Big deal!"_

She'd been angry. Afraid. He'd barely listened.

The thoughts poured in, but he refused to stop, plowing through the swirling earth.

What was supposed to happen next?

A boulder as large as his head shot by, missing his skull by inches.

Simple. He was supposed to help her. Save her.

A blast of wind propelled him upwards, and he used it to continue forward, sailing through the air. He stretched out his hand-

It's okay, Terra.

She turned, looking at him with flaming eyes through the storm.

I'm here, Terra.

His hand was so close to hers.

_"Get away from me!"_

Beast Boy fell.

The cave was gone. The walls, the ceiling, even the floor had completely vanished. He was floating, suspended in nothing, unable to move except to stare upwards.

Terra gazed down, fury in her stare. _"You lied."_

Her powers were becoming worse- he could barely see her through the vortex of stone and dirt, flying faster and faster in rings that only seemed to grow until they filled his vision.

He tried to yell. To say something, anything, to make her come back, but his voice was lost in the raging wind.

_"You lied,"_ her voice repeated, shaking and furious. The sound echoed, reflecting off of every object in the storm and pounding into his mind. _"You lied."_

Screaming, his mouth formed the word _No_, but she raised her arms and-

Somewhere else. Again.

Beast Boy blinked, but his eyes didn't need to adjust to the new light. The sun poured down on the desert sands, and he saw its light shining off of her hair-

The first place he saw her. That was it.

They were standing on the edge of the cliff, the place he'd watched as she tricked a scorpion monster with her powers. "Terra, I-"

She was facing away from him, over the valley below. "Don't, Beast Boy."

_It's a dream, it's just a dream-_

He started forward. "Please, just- let me explain! I didn't-"

"You wanted me to say goodbye, right?" She turned, and on her face was... nothing. No hint of any emotion. As if she couldn't even see him.

"Yeah, but-"

Terra stepped backward. "Goodbye."

He screamed as she fell away.

...

"...alright?"

_What?_

Beast Boy blinked up at the ceiling. Adrenaline from the dream and exhaustion from lack of sleep fought quietly in his head, and he slowly sat up to see Robin standing in the doorway to his room.

Normally so calm and composed, Robin now rubbed the back of his neck, awkwardly looking off to one side. "Sorry," he muttered. "Didn't mean to- anyway, just thought I heard something."

Beast Boy nodded, still blinking. Robin coughed. "Wanted to- you know, make sure everything was okay."

He wasn't leaving. Beast Boy nodded again. "I'm fine," he said quietly. "It's just..."

Both Titans let the silence grow. Finally, he looked up. "Slade."

Robin sighed. "Right."

The words seemed to vanish into the dark, quiet room. Beast Boy kept his eyes on the floor, wishing his leader would just leave. Wishing he could get back to sleep.

Wishing he could stop thinking about what happened.

"Look," Robin began. "I know the last time you saw... Slade, things didn't go so well, but-"

He hesitated. "I think it'll be okay."

Surprised, Beast Boy glanced up, but Robin hadn't left the doorway. He gave a tight, clipped smile- probably supposed to be encouraging, but the mask made him pretty hard to read- and spoke again. "It'll be okay," he repeated.

_Huh_.

Beast Boy looked down at his hands again, knowing full well that Robin would be gone by the time he looked back up. "Thanks," he whispered anyway.

It occurred to Beast Boy that Robin hadn't been fooled for a second. He was a detective, after all.

But at least he understood.

[]

[]

[]

Okay, let's talk.

If you- for whatever reason- have an opportunity to watch the episode "Terra", do it. It would be a gross understatement to say this is my favorite so far- I think it might be closer to say this is **one of the best twenty-minute segments of TV I've ever seen**.

Seriously, every single element seemed perfect. The opening was incredible. Terra was awesome, the other Titans' reactions to her were plausible and interesting, the action was great, the music was new and wonderful... alright, let's start at the beginning.

It's the best freaking opening ever. First off, how would you introduce a new character? Let's have her RUNNING AWAY FROM A MUTANT KILLER GIANT SCORPION IN THE MIDDLE OF FRIGGIN' TATOOINE. Then the Titans show up, and I expect they're gonna save the day, but instead this crazy chick LAUNCHES A MONSTER BOULDER at the thing, taking it out Earthbending style.

That's intense.

And then- as if all that wasn't enough- Slade shows up again, for the first time since the end of the first season, and utters, "Don't get too attached, my young friend. I saw her first." What on earth?! And that's all in a minute and a half!

The rest of the episode is golden. Personally, I love Terra's personality- her first dialogue is "What? Haven't you guys ever seen a superhero before?" ...Wow. I mean, there's cocky, and then there's just _bold_.

Oddly enough, she and Beast Boy actually have some pretty good chemistry. It's a lot of fun to watch them joke, or even to just have Beast Boy get all nervous and flustered and stuff. I don't usually care about romance in shows like this, but it was kinda nice to see them both so... positive, I guess. Their personalities are similar, and there's a scene where they're just skipping rocks and making faces at each other on the shore, and it's the middle of the night or something. For some reason, it's kind of adorable.

The action is phenomenal. I mentioned the 'fight'- more of a chase, then a single attack- with the scorpion, but there's also a training sequence where Cyborg and Terra run an obstacle course. Sounds boring, but holy cow, they pull it _off_. It's as action-packed as any fight scene, and it's a lot of fun to watch. Terra using earth to FLY is amazing (and I know this show came before Avatar, so don't worry about the Earthbending jokes). A scene where they fight Slade's robots is as fast and impressive as ever (and Terra rocks at blowing them up), and that brings us to the last five minutes.

...The ending is beyond anything I could have guessed. (I'ma spoil this to the moon and back, so be warned.) I actually rewatched the last five minutes, not to get better notes or anything. I watched it again just because it was so good.

(Quick note: The music during these last scenes is amazing. It's different than other parts of the show- more somber, even reflective, which is an unusual choice given the action and quick pacing the show usually has.)

First of all, Slade's back. Deep voice and brooding shadows and sinister plans and all, he's _definitely_ back. His conversation with Terra is haunting- he reveals that she's been accidentally causing earthquakes and other disasters, hurting the people she meant to protect. He knows she can't control her powers.

Then he makes her the offer. "Come with me, Terra. And I can teach you to shine." He holds out a diamond from the mine, free of dirt and dust. The music builds, and I get shivers because this is it. This is the moment, and I think I get it.

He wants her to be Robin.

She refuses, but when he tells her that Beast Boy lied about keeping her secret, the stress of it all starts to wear her down, and she can tell she's moments away from unleashing her power. "Don't lose control," she says furiously. "Don't lose control!"

Try to picture this in Slade's voice.

**"Now, Terra. How can you lose something... you never had?"**

Beast Boy flies in, charging through a friggin' underground tornado of boulders and earth, just to hold her and tell her that things will be okay. Add in the music, and suddenly I'm practically crying here.

The very end is even more powerful. It completely tricked me- the music was soft and happy, and I knew the episode was almost over, and they offered Terra a communicator. I assumed she'd take it.

Nope.

She thinks Beast Boy told, and furiously leaves without saying goodbye. We get a shot of Beast Boy, stunned. We get Robin, shocked. And we get Slade, still out there- just waiting for her.

Chills.

Also, the moment that Terra leaves, we see a silhouette shot of all the Titans, with her running. If I remember correctly, they've only used this a few other times: in the first episode, **when Cyborg was leaving,** and in the season finale, **just before Robin became Slade's apprentice**.

I don't like where that's going.

[]

**Lighthearted biz: **"I'm Boy Beast! Uh, I mean- Bass Boot!" Pretty much explains itself. Also, I love that Terra actually finds him funny.

Starfire, on meeting Terra for the first time: "Curiosity abounds! Please- Where did you come from How did you get here What is your favorite color _Do you wish to be my friend?"_

Cyborg finishes the training course: "Booyah! New course record!" And Raven just rolls her eyes. "Well, yeah. You're the first one."

Beast Boy, when Terra finishes the course: "Yeah! You da man, Terra! Uh- I mean, you're the- WAY TO GO!"

Terra actually likes Starfire's cooking. Whoa. She asks for more, to which Starfire joyfully replies, "I shall go cultivate the fungus!"

Even Slade gets a few digs in, during his fight with Terra: "Impressive. Unless, of course, you were aiming for me." Stone cold.

[]

Well, I think I've rambled on enough. Thanks for reading, watch this episode if you get the chance... anything else? Oh yeah: Next up is Only Human. Fitting, since most of the Titans aren't. Heh. Clever.

...I'll just show myself out.


	17. Only Human

Season 2, Episode 4

**Back When**

[]

Look, I know the QB gets his name in the papers. If ya see college scouts Homecoming night, they ain't there to scope out the O-Line, dig?

But wide receiver's got somethin' on everybody, even him. 'Cause when I'm standin' there, in the end zone, ball in my hand, lookin' out at the yellin' crowd under the lights an' seein' six go up on the scoreboard...

Nothin' like it.

But right now, I'm hunched over like I ate somethin' bad, knees bent, waitin' at the line for that one word, that one little word that'll send 'em all flyin'. Big Boss gives half a dozen barks, hopin' some poor chump on the other side'll jump early.

No dice. I look between the kid in front and his bud to the left. One's coverin' me, looks like. Other might rush.

Center snaps the ball.

I stutter right, then keep goin'. Number Eighteen takes the bait, thinkin' I'll hit left, an' it's enough for me- I'm already past him, headin' downfield. I got two things runnin' through my head.

One's the plan. Don't look back till I cross the twenty-yard line, an' if he's gunshy, hang a left and try to get his attention. If it's comin' to me, golden. Somebody else, forget the route and try to help with a block.

Scannin' the field, but something's up- Eighteen's gone, stickin' around the line of scrimmage, and the deep safety's coverin' me. Too close. Gotta shake him, gotta change the route-

Too late. Minute my foot clears the twenty, I turn an' see Big Boss, just standin' there. No one's movin' at all.

He already threw it.

_No, no, NO, it's too early, I'm not open, he'll just reach up and swat it away-_

But I look up, and the ball's goin' a little faster, a little higher than it should be. Must'a thrown it early to keep the defense from clobberin' him, but he knew I wouldn't be ready yet, so he tried to get it farther forward.

Man, I gotta _haul_.

That's where the second thought comes in, though. While I'm thinkin' about the play an' all, I'm also hearin' what Coach told us before the game.

See, it's not just about the strategy an' the little X's and O's movin' around on a chalkboard. After ya figure out the plays, there's gonna be a moment where ya got a mission, an' all that's left is seein' if you can do it or not. Your limit. If ya do everythin' you can, givin' all you got, _maybe_ it'll work out.

But that's not what we do. What _I_ do.

I find that limit, an' leave it in the dust.

_Hundred and ten percent_. That's what he told us right before kickoff- ended up our chant in the huddle. One-ten, one-ten, one-ten- I hear it poundin' in my head, in time with my feet hittin' the turf, and I turn it up, goin' faster an' faster. Shoulders startin' to burn.

One-ten.

Safety's laggin', an' I think if I caught the ball now, he couldn't stop me. My legs can't take much more. Look up quick.

One-ten.

It's finally comin' down, but still too far ahead. I close my eyes.

One-ten.

Can't think of nothin' else. Fire, achin' bright fire in my muscles, my calves are dyin', can barely move my arms, feelin' like I'm gonna fall apart-

_One-ten._

Faster. Always faster. Every cell in me's screamin' that I can't do it, can't hurt any more, but I don't listen. Last few steps're killer- I know I'm far beyond what I _think_ I can do, an' I push forward again, throwin' my arms out...

Gotcha. Like cradlin' a baby.

I almost hit the bleachers before I can stop, but when I do, I _stop_. S'like all the energy, all the focus is gone, outta me an' into the people screamin' and cheerin', an' I'm just blinkin' up at the glowin' numbers.

But I know. When it goes down, I can go beyond what anyone thinks I can. Even me. One-ten, baby.

I'm outta breath, and no one can hear me, but I say it anyway.

_"Booyah."_

[]

[]

[]

How to describe 'Only Human'... Hm. Let's start with Atlas, because if I'm being honest, I felt like this was just as much his episode as it was Cyborg's.

This guy is _weird_. My opinion of him changed a lot as the episode went on- at first, he seemed boring. Nothing wrong with him, just not that memorable. Not over-the-top enough, I suppose. But after a while, one thing won me over: He's obsessed with fighting, _really fighting for real in real life,_ but he regularly takes breaks to play video games.

Also, did I mention he's a robot?

For some reason, that combination- a fighting robot who loves video games- really struck me as bizarre. If he knows he could physically destroy anyone, why would he care about a high score? _And also why is the robot playing video games at all I can't stop wondering about that._

So, to sum it up, the villain's pretty good. Not great, not amazing, but good. So, how about Cyborg in this episode? Well, it's complicated.

I love the opening idea. The concept that Cyborg has actual limits that he can't surpass, because he's more robot than human, is kind of profound- especially since as an athlete, he used to be able to overcome those limits. This makes him bitter and angry, and he's convinced that he's not strong enough to help the others- but I don't really get everything after that. For example, there's a scene where he's talking to his reflection, and tells himself that his human side is what makes him stronger than Atlas... I think. It's not really clear.

This leads to the big fight with Atlas. He wins by somehow getting more strength and overloading the power readings on his arm. He doesn't use innovation or creativity, like I expected when they kept talking about the 'human side'- he just somehow got stronger.

So... what's the point? What did he actually do? Was there a lesson, or something he learned? Is he different in any way now? Why does his humanity make him better? No one says anything about caring for friends, or helping others, so it's not that. In fact, it's not really about anything- he just kind of wins all of a sudden. Boo robots, yay people? Is that it?

The episode is all about humanity and being a person, but I have no idea what I was supposed to take from it all. And that makes it really tough to care about the ending fight.

On the other hand, **I'm judging this episode like it's a friggin' character study in a classic novel.** If I'm nitpicking this much, it should tell me that I really do love the ideas, plots, and personalities in the show. It's kinda tough to remember that sometimes.

Also, I'm probably taking this to seriously. I could just say 'Eh, not my favorite,' like a normal person.

[]

**Light and hearted stuff**: Starfire's 'traditional Tamaranean folksong' is just her, shrieking, very loudly and very high. It's awesome.

A really creative visual joke shows up: Raven offers to help Cyborg, but he just growls, "I don't wanna talk about it." Immediately, we see him as some kinda World War II general directing anti-air guns to attack a plane, and Raven has to parachute to safety. As in, he 'shot her down'. I dunno, I thought it was clever.

After poking around the Interwebs, it seems this episode is considered a nod to the Rocky movies. Huh. (Actually, with the mechanic guy acting like a boxing coach, that would make sense.)

Speaking of the mechanic, I'm pretty sure he went on to voice Jake from Adventure Time. Or Futurama's Bender, if that's more your style.

"Derek Wyatt of East Gotham City... I DOMINATE you." I'd like to point out that Atlas kind of acts like an 11-year old on Xbox Live.

**"MECHANIC. BUFF ME." **...That made my day. I'm not even gonna describe the context.

[]

Logistics: Remember when I said I was gonna try to finish seasons 2 and 3 by the end of the summer? Haha, yeah, those were good times. So full of hope. So innocent.

...No? You don't? And if I hadn't brought it up, there would've been no problem? ...Huh. Well then. That's embarrassing.

Anyway, that won't happen. I've been working a lot on an older, longer, and more unified story that's been in progress for about a year now (Gravity Falls, if anyone is wondering). **I'll keep updating this one, too,** but I'm not holding myself to any deadlines or timetables. Again, thanks for reading!

Next up: Fear Itself. FDR makes a cameo, I bet. Yuk yuk.


	18. Fear Itself

Season 2, Episode 5

**Best Case Scenario**

[]

Pandemonium.

Shouting customers burst from the electronic doors of the video rental store, fleeing the destruction and chaos inside. Those unfortunate enough to remain trapped inside found themselves face-to-face with sentient TVs, computers, and even display cases of candy and soda. Somehow, every object in the building was terrorizing the store's employees and remaining shoppers, leering with digitized glares and pixelated smiles.

In the center of it all, one man stood. He reveled in his power- holding a black remote to his chest, he stared down at the cowering cashier, grinning at the fear in her eyes. "Okay," he said slowly. "Either you admit that Warp Trek 5- _which reunited the _entire_ original cast of the classic TV series_\- deserved to be on your 'favorite rentals' list, or..."

He raised the device, and instantly, a flat-screen television moved towards the woman- a multitude of wires sprang sprang from the back, crackling with electricity.

"Please!" she shouted, looking around at the chaos in alarm. "I- I don't even know what Warp Trek _is!"_

The man smirked. "And that, my little tribble... is why you must be destroyed!"

Before he could give another command, though, a blast of sonic energy slammed into the weaponized machine. The man turned, surprised, to see five figures in battle-ready positions.

"Well, well, well!" he sneered. "If it isn't my old arch-nemesis...-es..." his voice faltered, but the man shook his head, moving on. "The _Teen Titans!_"

The shortest of the Titans stepped forward, looking confused. "Um... yeah!" He turned back to his friends. "Who _is_ this guy?" he whispered.

Pausing, the man flicked a switch on his remote that projected his own face onto every TV screen in the store. "I am the master of monsters," a dozen voices echoed. "I am your darkest nightmares come to life! I am... CONTROL FREAK!"

He stood for a moment, arms raised, smiling widely, waiting for the gasps of awe and fear.

A dry voice cut through the air. "A couch potato with a souped-up remote. I'm petrified."

Control Freak scowled, annoyed by the interruption. "You will be," he hissed. "You will be!" Pointing the remote at the TV once again, he-

"HOLD IT!"

The yell seemed to banish all other noise from the room. Control Freak paused and looked back to the Titans, where the shortest had once again stepped forward, this time raising his hand. "Hey there, how ya doin', name's Beast Boy," he said quickly. "Now what's goin' on?"

...A nervous silence settled. Employees glanced back and forth, trying to understand what was happening, while Control Freak's robots waited, unsure of their orders. Control Freak himself seemed startled, but quickly frowned and puffed up his chest. "How dare you interrupt my moment of triumph?!"

Beast Boy crossed his arms. "Oh, no, by all means, you can get right back to triumphing all over the place, just... quick question first." He coughed. "You robbing the place, or what?"

The man blinked. "W-well, no, but-"

"Ah." Beast Boy nodded sagely. "Just lookin' to blow some stuff up, huh? We get that a lot around here."

"Beast Boy, what are you doing?!" one of the other Titans hissed.

He spun around. "I got this, Rob. Gimme a sec." Facing Control Freak again, he sighed. "Look, I know demolishing entire buildings _sounds_ really fun in theory-"

"No!" The villain snarled. "This establishment has committed an unspeakable atrocity against the very standards of cinema they claim to represent!"

"...Um. What."

Carefully getting to her feet, the woman closest to the register spoke up. "We didn't put a movie on our list."

"You gotta be jokin', right?"

Frowning, Beast Boy waved his hand. "I told you, Cy, I have this under control!" He coughed and looked back to Control Freak. "So, this movie."

"Not just _any_ movie," The man huffed. "Warp Trek 5."

Beast Boy grinned. "Aw, yeah! The one with the original cast!"

Ignoring a quiet '_are you serious_' from a certain dark-clothed girl behind him, Beast Boy blinked after a few seconds. "Wait, that wasn't on the favorites list? No way!"

"I know, right?" Control Freak waved his hands, using the remote to emphasize his point. "It's beyond classic! The quotes are legendary, the characters are amazing, and the plot is mind-blowing!" His eye twitched. "Not like that _travesty_ Warp Trek 4."

"Ugh." Beast Boy grimaced. "Don't remind me."

"This _can't_ be the reason we're here-"

"Raven." Robin held up his hand, then took a deep breath. "Let him finish."

Beast Boy grinned. "Thanks, bro." Turning to Control Freak, he put his hands in his pockets. "So, uh... who's your favorite character?"

"BEAST BOY!" Seething, Robin grabbed at his hair in frustration. "_Do you have a plan or not?!_"

"Alright already. Geez." The Titan's smile faded, and he sighed. "We're giving you a chance to stop this crime and walk away," he said in a monotone, as if from memory. "And if you refuse then we'll have to stop you with force, and-"

He stopped. "You know what? No. This is too important. I'm totally helping you." Looking over his shoulder, he added, "Sorry, Rob."

"...That's it." The sound of grinding metal teeth filled the air, and Cyborg raised a cannon, pointing it at his friend. "This may knock you out for a while, B. Fair warnin'."

"Cyborg, do NOT attack him!"

Raven smiled slightly. "Can I?"

"Titans, _keep it together!_" Robin shouted. "Beast Boy, what exactly is your plan?"

Ignoring them, the green-skinned Titan morphed into a kangaroo. A single jump carried him behind the counter, where he reverted to his normal form and faced the store's computer. "So how do ya search for movies on this bad boy?" he said casually.

The cashier, apparently resigned to the strangest shift of her career, calmly looked over his shoulder. "Well, first you go to the store database..."

A few feet away, the Titans were having a hastily-planned meeting. "So," Robin began. "What's our plan for this situation?"

Raven moved some hair behind her ear. "I don't know about _our_ plan, but personally, I'm going to murder Beast Boy."

Cyborg shrugged. "Honestly, Rob, I kinda tuned out as soon as they started talkin' movies. What's goin' on, exactly?"

Just before he could pound his head against a shelf of DVDs, Robin was interrupted. "Joyous news, friends! I come bearing gifts!"

He looked up, blinking. "Starfire, where have you been?"

The last Titan to arrive gently descended and beamed at the others. "I apologize for my late arrival, but there is so much to see in this establishment! I have found vast quantities of the corn that pops, and multiple packages of red stringed twist-candies of dubious nutritional value!"

Grinning, Cyborg snatched a bag of popcorn out of her arms. "Star, I can't decide if that was the most normal or weirdest thing to do here."

The store employee's voice reached them in the ensuing silence. "Try searching in quotes. Yeah, that's- no, never mind. What was the full name again?"

"Warp Trek 5," Beast Boy said distantly. "Oh, here we go! You guys even have a copy ready to go! Wait, that's the Special Edition." Without looking away from the computer, he called over his shoulder, "Yo, 'Trol, were you lookin' for the Special Edition?"

"Uh... sure." Startled, the Titans and customers alike- most of whom had forgotten Control Freak was even there- turned to see him sheepishly rub the back of his neck. "That one's fine."

"Cool." Beast Boy clicked the mouse a few times, then leaned back, looking satisfied. "Done deal! On the list." He looked around, finally noticing the others. "Hey, why's everybody so quiet?"

A few seconds of quiet followed, and one of the energized TV screens accidentally knocked over a cardboard cutout of an upcoming superhero movie.

Raven raised one eyebrow. "It's... been a weird day."

From a sitting position on the floor, a bored Cyborg spun the barrel on his arm-cannon. "So, we gonna fight or what?"

Robin glanced back and forth, from Control Freak to the robots- the man himself was hesitantly pointing the remote around the store, and the machines looked just as confused, slowly colliding with each other or walking into walls. "Technically," he muttered, "this guy hasn't done anything illegal, so... I guess not?"

"_Absolutely_ we're not fighting," Beast Boy said seriously. "I happen to be busy tonight." He grabbed a video off one of the shelves, adding, "And by that I mean _we're_ busy tonight."

"Oh, wonderful! What film have you selected for our 'movie night'?" Starfire asked, floating overhead as the Titans began to leave the store.

Oblivious to the overturned property and traumatized shoppers, Beast Boy grinned and held up the DVD case. "Warp Trek 5, baby. Like I said- Special Edition. You guys are about to discover a whole new _galaxy_ of adventure."

Raven grimaced. "That was the cheesiest thing you've ever said."

A tentative voice rose behind them. "Hey, um-"

Robin stopped, turning. "What is it?"

Control Freak nervously looked down at his feet. "If it's not too much trouble, uh- Can I watch it too?"

[]

[]

[]

**Sure**

[]

The day after the horror-movie-incident was, fortunately, uneventful.

_Un_fortunately, this led Raven's teammates to ask her a very repetitive question:

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

The repetition came more from her end, she supposed: no, thank you. I'm fine. Thanks for your concern, but I'm alright. Please stop asking.

Cyborg seemed to get the message after only one such conversation. Robin had stubbornly tried a few more times, probably out of some leader-ly notion that he had to at least _try_ to solve every problem the Titans could go through, even if it was hopelessly out of his hands. Oddly enough, it was Starfire- who had most likely understood the least about the physical manifestation of Raven's fear- who Raven found herself spending time with. She didn't ask a single question, simply inviting Raven to join her during meals, training, and watching TV, as they were now.

Of course, that left one Titan unaccounted for.

"So, Rae, I've been thinking-"

She pressed the volume button on the remote with vehemence. "Not now, Beast Boy."

He was draped upside-down on the couch, head resting on the cushion a few feet away from her, legs dangling over the back. "After last night's traumatic experience of getting dragged into the shadows by a nightmare tentacle demon-" He held up a finger. "Which I am _completely over_, by the way, thank you for asking- I had a few ideas. If you, like, deny that you're truly feeling fear, in your heart or whatever, it shows up as a giant monster, right?"

"I do not believe Raven wishes to discuss this right now," Starfire said timidly, sitting on the opposite side.

Beast Boy twisted his head against the seat to look at her. "Nah, she's cool. We're cool. Uh... we _are_ cool, right, Rae?"

Raven set the remote down.

It just... _strained_ her. Like a buzzing fly that she could never quite catch, or a pebble stuck in her shoe during a battle (which, Robin had once confided to her, happened to all the Titans except Cyborg), Beast Boy's joking could be more than a little annoying. She suspected that, deep down, it really was born of a desire to help her move on and see the entire fear-problem as something to be laughed at, instead of ashamed of. That didn't make it any less tiresome.

Having taken her silence as an agreement, Beast Boy grinned and lazily looked up at the ceiling. "That's kinda cool, you know? I mean, I can't make MY emotions show up and start fighting people. But I digress."

Raven snorted. "Digress?"

Starfire shrugged. "He heard it on a show of the TV."

"The point is," he continued, now struggling to sit upright, "what if it happens with other stuff? Like, if you were happy, but didn't wanna admit it because of your... Raven-ness..." He managed to get one leg over the back of the sofa, but lost his balance and ended up tumbling to the floor.

He leaped to his feet, dusting himself off like nothing had happened. "Would giant bunnies and rainbows start popping up all over the Tower?" he asked with complete sincerity. "Or if you were sad-"

"Beast Boy, please," Raven muttered. "I think I'm starting to get a headache."

"Irrelevant," he said immediately. "I'm asking for legit scientific reasons and stuff. Robin would totally back me up. You know, if he was here."

Starfire was looking a little worried. "Truly, Beast Boy, I think it would be best if you stopped asking about this."

An idea popped into Raven's head. "Actually, that's alright, Starfire," she said pleasantly. "Now that I think about it, it's no problem."

Beast Boy paused. "Huh? Really?"

"Why not?" Raven tilted her head. "After all, I'm not angry."

"Ah... that's, um, good," Beast Boy said, with a hint of uncertainty in his voice.

Starfire's eyes lit up. "But are you _sure_ you do not feel the anger, Raven?" she asked. "If you were being dishonest to yourself, then..."

Beast Boy's face had gone white.

"No, I'm not sure," Raven said loudly, playing along. "I suppose I might be furious right now, but I just won't admit it!"

"SQUAAAWK!" Both Titans jumped slightly at the sound of a parakeet's shriek as a green blur flew out of the room. It took a second, but eventually Raven smiled, even chuckling, while Starfire laughed loudly. Settling back on the couch, they turned their attention to the TV once again.

A commercial break caused Starfire to glance away. "Raven," she said quietly, still smiling slightly. "Forgive me for asking, but... the idea that Beast Boy suggested. Do you believe it could happen?"

Well, at least she wasn't being nearly as oblivious as the others had. "I'm not sure," she admitted. "This... it's all new to me."

Starfire nodded. "Are you worried?"

About to say no, Raven stopped. "Well," she said slowly. "I guess I can't lie about that anymore, can I?"

"I guess not." Starfire glanced over to her teammate, then suddenly moved closer and threw her arms around Raven's shoulders, hugging her closely.

"...Um, Starfire? What are you doing?"

"The traditional Tamaranean Glorpfnar!" she said happily. "It is a hug for such occasions when a friend wishes to comfort another, even if they do not fully understand the problem!"

"Oh. That's... specific." Raven was silent for a moment. "Thanks, but you can let go now."

"But the Glorpfnar is meant to continue until both participants are laughing in merriment!"

"Starfire. Please let go."

[]

[]

[]

(In **Best Case Scenario**, everything until Beast Boy yells 'HOLD IT' is pretty much a transcript of the opening to the episode. So yes, those lines are not mine. After that point, it's my story- just an imagining of what might have happened if Control Freak got his way.)

Apologies for taking so long with this update. Two reasons: general summer busy-ness, and also my Gravity Falls story has been taking up pretty much all of my time lately. It's nearly done, though, so as soon as it's finished, **"When There's Trouble" is officially back to being my first priority.**

So, why the heck did I write two mostly-comedy stories for an episode that was not comedy-focused at all? Well, I knew I needed to get this series back on track after that long wait, and I was tired of trying to think of perfect story ideas. But yes: in a perfect world, one story would have been really scary and suspenseful, and the other would have been a dramatic and thoughtful look at Raven's inner struggle during the episode.

So... just pretend I did that, I guess.

To business:

'Fear Itself' is basically a parody/homage to cheesy horror movies. Beast Boy even mentions it a few times- they're in the dark, slowly losing people, and some sort of monster is hunting them down. The main arc of the story is that Raven has to deal with the fear she's feeling, and the way that she eventually confronts it is by admitting that she actually does get scared. One of those 'fear doesn't make you weak, but you have to choose to move past it' kind of morals. It's nice. It's good.

But we're not here to talk about the moral, because this episode is just plain fun.

The horror movie references. Beast Boy's eagerness and joy over the horror movie, and then his just-as-enjoyable terror once the monster shows up. It's even kind of fun wondering what exactly the monster is- I know I was definitely surprised.

**Side note: Can we just assume I'm gonna spoil everything in these notes? Yes? Alright.**

Although, I kinda spoiled the twist ending in the story up there, didn't I? Yes, it turns out the monster is actually not something from the movie come to life, or even Control Freak's machines, but Raven's fear. I gotta admit, that was a really cool idea, and the animation is absolutely perfect- there's a lot of Nevermore throwbacks, with the red glowing eyes and shadowy tentacles everywhere, and it's pretty goshdarn scary.

Also, Raven absolutely wrecks the monsters once she realizes her destiny and stuff. Again, that's just fun.

Hey, did I mention Control Freak at some point? Because I'd like to talk about him now.

...Remember how I was less than thrilled with Atlas (the video-game robot guy who fought Cyborg) and Soto (the terrifying baby-man-giant who thought Beast Boy was his pet dog), and I was a little worried that all the good villains had been used up in Season 1? And I thought we might not get another Mumbo or Puppet King or someone else as equally enjoyably bizarre?

Well, Control Freak has put those fears to rest. This guy is _insane_. He's a fanboy who literally wants to destroy the store just because they didn't put discount-Star-Trek on that 'favorite rentals' list, thinks he's the Titans' nemesis (even though they've never heard of him), dances _constantly_ during the fight, and actually takes time out of his evil plan to reminisce with Beast Boy about the shows they both like.

In short, he's fantastic.

Bonus villain round: At one point, CF uses his remote to bring a samurai cardboard cutout to life. It's actually pretty cool. Also, there's a really creepy miniboss-like bad guy that shows up in the Tower- Some kind of swamp monster, but with long hair and mouths all over.

**The Things that are Light of Heart:**

-During the fight with CF, the Titans are JUST STANDING THERE. There's like three different shots of all the Titans, literally not moving, watching as Control Freak brings things to life and terrorizes this store.

-Okay, he actually brought the candy to life. Some of it glared up at Cyborg and shrieked, in a high-pitched squeal, "Who's delicious now?!" It was adorable.

-And the candy... made Cyborg puke? Because it was possessed? I'm not gonna question that.

-Raven coolly stares the villain down. "You don't scare me." Beast Boy, on the other hand, runs past, screaming, "LOOK OUT HE'LL EAT YOUR BRAINS!"

-I think the Titans have defeated a few different villains just by... setting off some sprinklers. Awesome.

-"Ever think you watch too much TV?" Robin, that's... that's not a pun. That's not even a joke. Don't give up on puns, man.

-For a while, I thought Beast Boy was right- that the movie was haunted, and they were gonna die for watching it. Like a Cartoon Network version of The Ring.

-"When you split up, the monster hunts you down one by one! Starting with the good-looking comic relief guy! ME!" Beast Boy just nailed pretty much ever horror movie.

-They're trying to figure out how Control Freak could have continued raising machines when his remote was destroyed. Finally, Cyborg realizes the simple answer: "Maybe he had an extra remote. I mean, we got, like, 9." That made me laugh out loud, for some reason.

The last line of the episode is, "I'm afraid not." Eyyyyy I get it.

[]

Next up: 'Date With Destiny'. I have literally no idea what this will be about. Let's see, what else, um... thanks for reading. You're cool for reading. If you didn't, I'm sure you're still cool. Not quite as much.

To all guest reviewers: thanks again!


	19. Date with Destiny

Season 2, Episode 6

**Freezeframe**

[]

Deep in the heart of Jump City, an abandoned library went unnoticed by the citizens traveling past. But inside, the building was a bustling hub of activity- computer monitors had been set up along several walls, brought together by a tangle of wires and switchboards in the center.

Gizmo of the Hive Academy paced excitedly, glancing from time to time at the screens alongside him. "I promise, it's gonna be awesome."

"So you've said." Jinx lounged against the wall. "But I don't see why you can't tell me what's going on."

"It's, um, a surprise." He nodded vigorously. "Yeah. A surprise."

The enchantress rolled her eyes, then examined her fingernails. At that exact moment, Gizmo yelped and fell down, tripped up by the wires on the ground. "Hey! You did that on purpose!"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

A loud crash made them both look towards the entrance, where Mammoth was staring at a half-collapsed door. "Oops."

"Oh, you're here!" Gizmo rubbed his hands together. "Good. Now we can get started."

He hurried over to one of the bigger monitors, tinkering with a few dials and switches, while Jinx didn't turn away from the rubble. "Are we gonna ignore the fact that half the city probably heard that?"

"Eh, calm down." Gizmo said irritably. "This'll only take a minute."

He pressed a button, and the screen in front of him blared to life, showing a still image of Titans Tower. "It works!" he cackled. "Now, let's see if we can..."

His voice trailed off as he bent over the control panel, mumbling to himself and experimenting with some of the other mechanisms. Mammoth shrugged and sat down, and Jinx simply sighed. "Gizmo, what are you talking about?"

"Okay, okay." He looked up, grinning at the screen, then turned to face his teammates. "So those cheesebitin' Titan losers have been on my case since day one, you know?"

"Technically, you've been attacking them," Mammoth rumbled.

"_Well_, I've been working on this project to get 'em back. I have cameras and mikes set up all over the City, and I ran the feeds through a program that'll compile every time the Titans show up and do something."

Jinx tilted her head to one side. "That's, uh, that's a little creepy."

"It's so I can spy on them, duh!" Gizmo frowned. "Honestly, it's like you've never had a nemesis or something."

"She's right, Gizmo, that's still really weird."

He threw his hands up. "Aw, whadda you guys know, anyway!" Spinning back to the machine, he pulled a few more dials and looked up expectantly. "With this, we can see what they're doing, what they're planning, and even figure out when they'd be most vulnerable to-"

Gizmo stopped, completely entranced by the images before him.

The nearest computer had switched on to show Robin, apparently inside the Tower, head hanging low and heaving a reluctant sigh. "Right," he said under his breath. "Will you... go with me..." He shook his head, then spoke through gritted teeth. "...To the prom?"

The camera suddenly shifted, revealing Starfire standing next to him, who promptly disappeared in a burst of blinding fire.

Before any of the Hive could react, the video ended and another began- on this screen, Cyborg staggered across a city street, completely covered in gigantic moths. "THERE'S TOO MANY OF 'EM!" he screamed, wildly firing his sonic cannon in all directions. Even as he flailed and struggled, more insects- some nearly half his size- continued their assault, latching fangs onto his metallic armor.

Yet another computer started up. The Hive saw Beast Boy's face, suspicious and annoyed, filling the screen. "Guy's got a spider for a head. Not like he's gonna be hard to find."

As if on cue, Starfire suddenly on the next monitor over. She was hovering in the air, eyes glowing a brilliant green, and the same energy crackled and popped around the starbolts in her hands. "GET YOUR LEGS OFF MY BOY!" she screeched.

Gizmo's trembling hand slowly pressed a button on the control panel, and the videos ended abruptly, cutting to empty black screens. The lair was silent for a moment.

Jinx was the first to make a sound, but she only coughed once and looked off to the side. "Maybe... we should take a vacation," Mammoth finally said.

White-faced, Gizmo nodded. "Y-yeah," he mumbled. "That sounds good."

[]

[]

[]

**Drama Queen**

[]

"Fang, slow down!"

She raced through the trees, stumbling past stray branches and squinting to see in the darkness. The sound in front of her told her which way to continue, and she changed course to follow her target. "Just- just hang on a second!"

Nearly crashing into him, she stopped abruptly. "Oh!" She smiled. "There you are."

Fang stood in the middle of a small forest clearing. The trees around them shifted and quivered slightly with the wind, and the same breeze muffled all other noises. "I'm sorry," Fang said. "But I had to be sure no one would hear us."

He himself was hunched over, hands in the pockets of his blue jeans. His white T-shirt was clearly visible, but the leather jacket was more difficult to see in the twilight.

"Kitten," he began. "Now that we're alone... in the woods... at night... with nobody around... there's something I have to tell you."

"Okay, what?" Kitten chirped.

Fang took a deep breath. "I'm not like other guys."

"Um, duh." Grinning, she put her hand on her hip. "You have a bag on your head. I'm not exactly shocked here."

He did, indeed, have a large paper bag on his head.

"I know, but..." He looked to the side, sighing dramatically. "It's worse. Worse than you can imagine, Bella. I mean Kitten."

She threw her hands up. "You know my dad's literally a moth, right? Ugh, whatever. So... vampire?"

Fang paused. "What?"

"What, werewolf? Ghost?"

A little panicked, he shook his head, causing the bag to shift from side to side. "Were- were you expecting this? Why are you not freaked out right now?"

"Zombie? Frankenstein's monster? Mummy? Oh, I got it- secret mermaid!"

_"That doesn't even make sense Kitten,"_ he said angrily. "Please, just- listen." She giggled at the rhyme, but he ignored her. "You trust me, right?"

He pulled the bag off. Kitten stared, all humor gone.

"Look, I know this is freaky, and I totally understand if you don't-"

"Why doesn't he fall off?" she asked suddenly.

Fang stopped in the middle of a word, mouth wide open. "...What?" he stammered.

"The spider. How come he doesn't fall off?"

The arachnid was enormous, bigger than the rest of Fang's body. Free of the bag, eight legs unfurled and stretched in the night air, while a jet-black head with dark red eyes appeared to be halfway through digesting Fang's own head.

"O-oh." He stood up a little straighter. "Well, uh, my head's in here." Pointing to the spider's mouth, he poked one of its teeth. "And he can't bite through it, see, I mean he's been trying for like a year but he can't quite get it, so I'm okay, but he also can't open his mouth any wider to let go, so... we're kinda stuck here."

"Huh." Kitten kept staring. "That's, um..."

He sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "Yeah. Pretty much."

A few seconds passed, and she smiled again. "Honestly, I thought you just hated going outside."

"Well, I do. Just- not for the normal reasons."

"Huh." The awkward silence returned. Kitten rocked back and forth on her feet, finally asking, "How come his mouth moves when you talk?"

"That's, um, reflex." Fang coughed. "You sure you're alright with this? I mean, not many girls would-"

"I love it." He shivered, trying not to look at her creepy smile. "You're even cuter than before, Fangy-poo."

"Are you serious?"

"And," she continued, completely missing the note of fear in his voice, "Everyone's gonna be jealous of MY date when we go to the prom tomorrow!" At this point, her grin was covering most of her face.

"Wait." He shook his head, and the spider gently danced back and forth. "The prom? Kitten, I don't go out, remember? And also I'm kind of a wanted criminal. I don't know how you keep forgetting that. This is a bad idea."

She stamped her foot. "But Fa-aaaang! You're my boyfriend! You gotta go to stuff like this with me!"

"Then I'll just wear the bag like normal."

"NO!" Kitten pouted. "You're going with your regular face, or you're not going at all!"

"Fine." He sounded relieved. "Guess I'm not going."

She gasped. "W-what? Are you... breaking up with me?"

"Yup." He clapped his hands together, suddenly seeming more cheerful. "I honestly thought the spider-face thing would do that for me, but this works too." Snapping his thumbs, he pointed his fingers towards her like pistols. "See ya 'round, babe."

"B-but wait! Fang!" He was already starting down a path out of the forest. "You can't break up with me! Who'm I gonna take to the dance?"

"Don't know. You can figure something out."

"FANG!" she screeched. "I HATE YOU FOREVER! I'LL NEVER FORGET THIS!"

"Sorry," he called over his shoulder.

"WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?!"

"For all I care, you could blackmail one of the Teen Titans."

Kitten paused to take a breath. "THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA! I THINK I'LL DO THAT!"

"You're welcome."

[]

[]

[]

You guys, I am dead. I'm an actual ghost now. I died. This episode killed me.

But at least I died laughing, because this is the best thing ever.

I don't think it's a stretch to say this is, at least for me, the funniest episode so far. Everything, from the setups to the punchlines to the minor characters to the major characters, is absolute gold. I really don't have much clever analysis here, so I'll mostly be listing a bunch of goofy moments.

The tone is set immediately- we see a brand new villain, in a secret lab and everything, and for a few seconds, it's really intimidating. Then he reveals his name to be... 'Killer Moth'. I was kinda underwhelmed.

But then they saved it. Ooh, boy, did they ever save it.

He's a supervillain, but his daughter is freaking out because her boyfriend broke up with her the night before prom, and he has to figure out how to make her calm down. That's a genius setup, right there. And this is just the _intro_.

So when she decides her date must be Robin, I think I laughed out loud.

Now, Moth isn't the only villain. There's a side character, unnamed until the end, who appears to be a regular guy, except HIS HEAD IS IN THE MOUTH OF A GIANT SPIDER. Even weirder, the human guy looks like he's the one controlling them. That's Tim Burton levels of creepy.

Beast Boy's line in the first story up there (those four moments are actually in the episode) sums it up pretty good. "Guy's got a spider for a head. Not like he's gonna be hard to find."

Robin gets hit by paralyzing spider venom, and is frozen in an action pose for a while. It's pretty awesome.

There's actually a really creative, kind of frightening idea- Killer Moth releases a swarm of mutant, huge moths that can eat through metal. They start destroying bridges and everything.

(Beast Boy, by the way, is freaking _prime_ in this fight. He rides around on one moth as a green monkey, crashing into a bunch more, then switches to a gorilla and starts punching them all in the face. At one point, he just goes elephant and sits on them.)

It's even sort of clever- the moths try to eat Cyborg. Because they only eat metal. It's never stated, "Oh no! They're attacking Cyborg because he's made of metal!" It's kinda left to the viewers to figure it out.

**Jealous Starfire may be my new favorite character.** She screams, rants, literally sets herself on fire at one point, punches and destroys a car in rage... and for the most part, the other characters kind of ignore her. I couldn't stop laughing.

There's one non-comedy bit I liked, when Starfire shows up at the prom. She has a dress and everything- she even points out that she took the time to find a 'dead plant'. It's just a nice moment.

Kitten demands, "Would it kill ya to smile?" And Robin proceeds to give the most uncomfortable, forced, terrifying smile in history, then utters, "...Maybe."

Even the other plots are funny. Beast Boy, Cyborg, and Raven straight-up break into a house (suspected to be Moth's), and they find the horde of demon moths. Instead of freaking out, all three just hold up their communicators and sigh, almost bored. "Found him."

There are two hilarious reveals towards the end. The first is the real villain- it's not Killer Moth, or even the spider-guy.

It's Kitten.

She's devious, crazy, actually cackles sometimes, and even HAS THE CONTROLLER TO RELEASE THE MOTHS. She's hilariously fun- the breaking point to actually hit the button is when she gets some cake on her dress. That's what sets her off.

The other reveal is that the ex-boyfriend is the spider.

...

The ex-boyfriend... is the spider.

I had to stop the episode. I couldn't deal with that. I think I took a break and came back later, because that was one of the funniest plot twists I've ever seen. And she still likes him! There's a zoom-in on their faces, with the lovey music and pink hearts and stuff around the edges, and they kiss, and he's a SPIDER.

Of course, this leads to an insane showdown wherein Fang is fighting Robin because he thinks Robin's gonna steal his girl, Robin is fighting Fang because he's the thief he couldn't catch earlier, and the two girls are fighting each other because... actually, I'm not sure why. But it's funny. And it's surprisingly intense- even though they're just at a school dance, there's fighting on the ground, in the air, on top of a canopy of electric lights... it goes all over the place.

Fang hits Robin, yelling, "Get your hands off my girl!" Starfire immediately shoots him with a starbolt, then screams, "Get your legs off my boy!" That is a fantastic line.

These two random kids just wanna go dance, but they're frozen by spider slime. It's amazing. "Let's hit the dance floo-OOF."

After the fight, Robin looks at Kitten and smirks. "Consider yourself dumped." He is officially back, you guys.

The moths... turned into larvae, I guess? And apparently Beast Boy wants to keep one as a pet. Well then.

There's one really quick shot where Fang gets in the police truck, and sees Killer Moth. If you think about it, they're both getting arrested, both weird insect supervillains... but Fang is also his daughter's ex-boyfriend. That's gotta be awkward.

Finally, Robin apologizes to those two random kids, who respond, "Are you kidding? This was the best prom ever!"

That's kinda how I feel about this episode.

[]

To sum it up: Killer Moth is funny. Fang is funny. Kitten is funny.

And, maybe I shouldn't have been surprised, but Robin and Starfire are _legendary_. I guess I figured only Beast Boy and Cyborg could have the joke lines, and only Raven could do sarcasm, but these two were absolutely hilarious.

Next up: 'Transformation'. So... Beast Boy-centered, maybe?


	20. Transformation

Season 2, Episode 7

**Absolute**

[]

It shouldn't have felt so cold.

Starfire had been here before- floating in the dark depths of space, surrounded by nothing but stars and galaxies. She'd flown through the universe, feeling complete nothingness pass over her skin. She knew what it was like to see only unfamiliar stars in every direction, and to lose all sense of place completely, unsure if forward or back or even straight up would take her home.

This was different.

Earth spread out below her, brilliant blue and quiet green, and she knew it was beautiful. She knew it was an awesome sight, an amazing privilege to see the world like this. If she drifted around to where night had fallen, she could see millions of lights, shining up from the surface in a hypnotizing display, and that, too, would be beautiful.

Still, she could only feel cold.

From here, she couldn't see anything familiar- not Jump City, or the Tower, or any of her friends. But they were still there. For a moment, she wondered if she should simply return. Could she really leave it all behind, simply because of her appearance?

Then she remembered. They'd been fighting Plasmus, and someone had made a joke. Perhaps Cyborg or Beast Boy, regarding the villain's disgusting nature.

Robin had spoken, without a trace of humor in his words. She'd seen on his face nothing but quiet determination.

"He's still a monster. And like all monsters, he has to go."

The thought made her shiver. What else could she call herself? Surely these strange mutations would be considered monstrous- but the Titans would never hurt her...

Would they?

Cold. Numb. Frozen.

Starfire blinked quickly, turning her eyes from the world below. The thoughts raced in her mind, blurring together- her friends would not do anything drastic. They _knew_ her. But she was different now- was it right to confront them with this change?

She couldn't bear to hurt them. But the act of leaving itself might do just that.

And what if they rejected her?

It was too much to consider. She rubbed her arms, trying to keep warm, and turned slightly to face one of the countless directions full of innumerable stars.

It had to be like this.

Slowly drifting forward, she focused on a light in the distance. She didn't know where she was going, but she continued anyway. Any world, any planet that would accept her would do. A place where she wouldn't have to worry about this change.

Starfire began to fly faster. She still felt cold.

[]

[]

[]

**Zero**

[]

_I don't know._

The sky was moonless and clear, with the slightest tinge of purple from the city lights. Robin stood on the roof of the Tower, staring up into the darkness, thinking. Thinking. Thinking.

_Why?_

The day's events played out in his head, over and over. Starfire's odd behavior. The fight with Plasmus. Then, when one of the monster's attacks had knocked away her bizarre disguise-

She'd just... vanished. Up, up and away.

"Why." He hadn't meant to say it out loud, and the sound startled him. But that single word encapsulated everything he was feeling- the despair, the confusion, the wondering.

Across the bay, late as it was, the world was still turning. He could see the lights on the buildings and streets blurring together, and the occasional car screamed down the highway by the beach. People were simply going through their lives, as if nothing was wrong.

But he kept turning back to the stars.

_Why_. His time with Batman, his role as team leader, his skills in analysis and tactical strategy- it was all predicated on logic. Deduction. Finding reasons for events, and controlling those reasons to achieve an outcome. But this time, there was nothing. She'd simply left, and they had no clues, no reasons, no warnings. So why had she done it?

_I don't know._

He bowed his head, willing himself not to give in to self-pity. It was never easy to admit that he couldn't solve a problem, but this truly stung. He almost wished he could have a reason, even if she didn't come back- at least he would know why.

The thought disgusted him, and he growled, looking back up to the sky. A breeze was coming in off the ocean, and he shivered with the cold.

_Maybe... it doesn't matter._

He paused. What if he didn't need to find the answer? After all, the important thing wasn't to know a reason.

The important thing- well, it was Starfire.

Almost unbidden, thoughts and plans began to grow in his mind. Some form of travel. Schematics for a vehicle to move through deep space. A general knowledge of star systems, focusing mainly on the areas Starfire had mentioned in the past.

Robin started towards the stairs. Ignoring the fact that his teammates were probably asleep, he raised his communicator.

"Robin to Cyborg. I have an idea."

[]

[]

[]

Mm. This episode's kind of an oddball.

For starters, it's... narrated. A few different times throughout the show, a narrator starts explaining what's happening. (Fun fact- I thought the guy's voice was pretty cool, and it turns out he's Judge Frollo from the Hunchback of Notre Dame.) That's a fun idea, but on the other hand, the first two scenes are Starfire trying to get rid of a zit and Beast Boy trying not to pee in the middle of a hallway.

...Classic?...

But on the _other_ other hand, some parts really worked. Raven's sarcasm is spot-on, as usual, and it fits especially well because Starfire- at first- is kinda acting like a dramatic teenager.

But then it takes _another_ turn, and the transformation stuff is actually kinda funny and interesting, and the plot gets more expansive, and more confusing, and...

I'm just not sure what to think of it.

Take Starfire's main plot. She's changing, right, and these odd things start happening that eventually cause her to leave and seek out a new planet. It's already kinda weak, since we know her friends will just be like 'We don't care what you look like' and stuff, and that makes the emotion not quite as strong as it could be. In my opinion, anyway.

But then the Titans convert the submarine into a spaceship. That's awesome.

While that's happening, Starfire seems to find a planet that welcomes her and her odd neck-blades. This is actually a trap, because she's- get this- slowly turning into a chrysalis pod that this type of alien happens to eat.

Yup.

I was really surprised when that happened. One, because it was weird, and two, because... it raises a lot of questions. Starfire is fine when she comes out of the pod, so was that really just a normal Tamaran thing? And the alien had to eat her in a certain time limit or she'd just break out on her own, looking normal again? Also, if she _is_ herself again, what's the point of having Robin say 'We don't care what you look like'?

I'm probably overthinking this.

[]

**Funny Stuff**: So, this Plasmus guy. He eats sewage... and that's it, right? He doesn't seem to attack anybody- not until the Titans fight him, anyway. So can't we use this guy? That seems like a very cost-efficient and city-friendly snacking habit.

Beast Boy flies into some barrels of Gatorade. "Orange flavored bad guy? Gross... yet strangely refreshing!" If the joke is that he assumes he's just tasting more sewage, I guess it's pretty funny.

Starfire, searching for a new home: "Hello, fellow ugly monsters!" I might have to announce that next time I see my friends.

"Cyborg, how long until we can launch!" "Eh, about five minutes after YOU QUIT ASKIN' ME THAT!"

There's a bit where a giant Zelda-esque flower monster eats Starfire, then spits her out because she's too ugly. I dunno, I laughed.

Starfire can shoot lasers from her eyes now. This is great. The villain gets straight-up murdered by a demon flower, then eaten off-screen, so you have to just imagine it. This is not so great.

[]

So... I'm not sure. Watch it, I suppose? If you're a fan of the episodes that are a little more obvious with the point they're trying to make, as well as a more laid-back and kind of depressing tone. Not my favorite.

Sorry these were so short.

Next up: 'Titan Rising'. Man, 'rising' has gotta be one of the most useful words in all pop culture. It shows up everywhere, and it instantly sounds epic.


	21. Titan Rising

Season 2, Episode 8

**Light 'Em Up  
**

[]

A villain... with fireworks.

_Seriously_.

Terra sighed, watching as the man strolled up to one of Jump City's many banks. Honestly, he wasn't even _trying_ to be quick, or stealthy, or anything like that. He was just out in the open, where any old cop could grab his shoulder and say _excuse me sir but why are you walking into the bank with two giant revolvers and a motorcycle helmet on?_

Amateur.

She casually started across the street. She'd run into this guy before- he was the type to hold onto a motif so desperately that it actually made him weaker. Case in point, if he had actual bullets instead of freaking fireworks, she might be- at the very least- concerned.

But that wouldn't be _different_ or _original_ enough. Eugh.

Shaking her head, she made her way towards the front steps of the building. The man paused, half-turning near the top stair, and raised the guns. "Ah, Terra." A digitized voice emanated from behind the black helmet, and at the same time, colored lights flashed on the front to correspond with the sounds. "So good to see you again."

Let's see, how to play this...

After thinking for a moment, she shrugged. "Sorry, have we met?"

He growled, but tried to cover it up with a small laugh. "Surely you remember... the terror and fame of _Lightshow!_"

It was almost too easy. She scratched her head, giving a look like she was concentrating really hard, then smiled apologetically. "Did we, like, meet at a party or something...?"

Lightshow froze, and she grinned as she imagined what his face looked like under that mask. "How dare you," the electric voice snarled. "Perhaps _this_ will jog your memory!"

He pointed one of the guns at the sky, and a rapid-fire burst of projectiles launched straight up. It wasn't more than a second before the lights exploded into color, reds and purples, vivid even in the midday brightness.

Somewhat distracting, actually.

Terra blinked, looking down to notice that Lightshow was running back up the steps, nearly inside the building already. _Did I _really_ just fall for that?_

She flipped her hair back, annoyed, then focused on the steps in front of her. Once she recognized the type of marble they were made of, she made a quick note of Lightshow's speed, then-

Stepped.

The smallest bit of stone jutted up from the top stair, far too late for the villain to see, and with a surprised yell, he fell on his face. Both guns skittered to a stop a few yards away.

Smirking, Terra floated towards him on a levitating platform of rock, taking care to shift the modified step back to its original state. "Don't wanna cause any accidental vandalism," she said nonchalantly. "Which, by the way, could be the title of your autobiography. That you write in jail."

He jumped to his feet, but Terra continued. "You know, you don't even have to rob the bank now. I could getcha for setting off explosives on city property."

"Insolent-"

"Also, I don't wanna crush any dreams here, but I don't think Daft Punk is looking for new members."

Enraged, he dashed towards the closest revolver, hefting it and aiming in a single motion. Before Terra could react, he'd already fired a missile towards her-

Bright. Very bright.

She staggered back, temporarily blinded. _Well, that's a new trick. _Placing one hand on the ground, she tried to determine where his footsteps were coming from. Too close.

Her arm barely swung up in time, and Lightshow's kick caught her elbow, causing her to wince in pain. Frustrated that she'd been pushed so far off-balance, she scrambled backwards again, trying to come up with a plan, to get back in control of the battle, to-

She heard the launch of another explosive.

Lightshow must have aimed it too quickly for an accurate shot, but the firework crashed near her, and the resulting mini-explosion knocked her into the air. Too dazed to consider her next move, she hit the ground hard.

Blinking, she looked up through still-blurred vision to see the criminal walking towards her. Lightshow laughed, a hollow, crackling sound. "Well, little hero," he said through blips of static. "What do you have to say for yourself?"

Terra gritted her teeth. "Practice makes perfect," she mumbled.

He tilted his head, and the lights on the mask moved diagonally. "Sorry?"

"I said-" She moved her hand quickly, bringing two fingers together on the ground, and a foot-high mound of earth encased one of Lightshow's feet. "Practice makes perfect."

Startled, he strained to get free of the dirt. The few seconds of distraction allowed Terra to focus her thoughts on a new idea- one she hadn't tried before. Two small, flat stones broke away from the marble steps and rose up- one pressed against the back of her hand, while the other fit perfectly against her palm. Concentrating, she kept the stones pushing together like magnets, which allowed her to hold both in place, even when she curled her hand into a fist. Once they were secure, she used her powers.

The rocks moved up.

The force of the punch pulled Terra behind it, letting her leap to her feet, while at the same time connecting with Lightshow's helmet faster than any normal attack she could have tried. He flew backwards, but with his foot still trapped, halted immediately and dropped to the ground.

Exhilarated, she grinned, saying the first thing that came to her mind. "Lights out."

With a roar, Lightshow raised the gun again, wildly firing explosives while still on his back. Terra moved quickly, avoiding the missiles and taking the time to connect another pair of stones to her other hand. By the time the villain ran out of fireworks, he'd also gotten to his feet again and raised his fists, almost daring her to make the next move.

Terra obliged.

As she charged, she noticed a few things. Lightshow had his arms up in front of him, clearly expecting another punch. He'd probably be able to block it this time, and he seemed to be ready to use his immobile foot as an anchor for balance. She'd have to change up her strategy.

Smiling, she took the last few steps at an even faster pace, rearing her arm back like she was about to strike. But just before she reached him, her last step pressed down against the earth- using her powers, she levitated a pillar of stone underneath her foot.

Terra flew upwards, instantly flipping back and catching Lightshow with a uppercut-kick to the chin. At the same time, she loosened the dirt around his foot, so there was nothing left to keep him from rising into the air with the force of the hit.

After landing, she glanced up to see Lightshow's helmet clatter against the steps. A normal, human face- bruised and a bit shocked- looked back at her in a daze, mumbling something before he collapsed forward.

"Told ya," she said in between gasping breaths, "I'd getcha."

The adrenaline didn't last long, and she suddenly realized how tired she was. Not only that, but quite a few onlookers were still staring, and Terra glanced around. "Already called the cops?"

Getting a few nods, she sighed. "That's... good. That's good." She stepped past Lightshow's groaning form, rubbing her eyes. The thrill of victory was usually pretty real, but it didn't always account for good old-fashioned exhaustion.

[]

It didn't take long to get to the bay. Terra found herself at the edge of the city, standing on the beach and looking out over the shining waters of the Pacific. The sunlight glinted off Titans Tower, and it was tough to look at anything else.

She could tell herself she was here for some other reason, but it'd be a lie. Staring at that building, she felt a surge of contradicting emotions. Afraid. Nervous. Excited.

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath. She'd needed practice- they made that very clear. And she'd needed to prove it to them, but... to herself, too.

And now she was ready.

Without looking, she formed a lump of sand behind her into a smooth platform, just the right size to ride like a hovercraft over the bay.

It was time to become a Titan.

[]

[]

[]

Hey. Hey guys. Wanna know a secret?

Terra's back.

I think I've made my feelings about Terra pretty clear- in short, she's awesome. However, last time I was a little concerned that she just... showed up. Almost like an original character, plopping down into the story and making everything about her. But now, it's looking more and more like this was the plan all along.

I don't think I noticed it in the earlier episode 'Terra', but the Titans have surprisingly varied and interesting reactions to her character. Beast Boy, obviously, is completely crushing, while Starfire thinks Terra's just the coolest thing ever- but the other three are fascinating. Cyborg doesn't get a lot of lines, but I think he's cautiously optimistic, and Raven takes the focus of the episode, going from a complete distrust of Terra to, eventually, a hesitant friendship. Robin might be the most interesting- he's wary of trusting her, but not outright suspicious. Every time he talks to her, you can tell he's weighing everything in his mind. What she's done in the past, what the others think of her, the risks involved in trusting her... he seems to be considering it all. Even his decision to put Raven and Terra on the same team eventually works out- he's proven right when they, working together, save the day.

It's the perfect group dynamic. And even Raven's initial cold-shoulder attitude isn't just because the plot says so. She has real, legitimate reasons that she doesn't trust Terra- like I said, the events from before are a pretty important bit, but also because Raven knows exactly how difficult it is to get control of dangerous powers.

The plot's good, but it sort of takes a backseat to the characters this time around. In addition to Terra's-back and Raven-doesn't-trust-her storylines, we also get omnivorous giant worms that are destroying parts of the city. Turns out their real target is actually the Tower, and in a nutshell, the Titans- mainly Robin from a leadership standpoint, and Raven personally- have to trust Terra completely to save their home.

Oh, and Slade shows up.

*drops mic, walks away.*

How did I live without this guy? He's still the best, folks- the first time he shows up outside of a communicator screen, he immediately kicks Robin in the face.

One particular thing I'd like to point out here: **the action**. The longer fight scene, about halfway through the episode, really rocks. The burrowing worm-like monsters don't really fight so much as they keep eating, so the focus is completely on the Titans' powers and how they can combine in creative ways. Especially now that Terra's involved. Plus, it's another opportunity to showcase the difference between her and Raven- Terra tries a really dangerous tactic, and Raven completely shuts her down, basically demanding that she trust the Team first and foremost. It's really kind of impressive. I mean, Raven's never a pushover, but we don't always get to see her really stand up to somebody.

And in the ending scene, there's a particularly awesome moment where Cyborg drills a hole in one of the worms- then Beast Boy slips inside as a mouse to chew through the wiring. That's really creative.

Also, the music is good. I wish I had more to say about it, but how do you describe music in text? 'It sounded like DUH DUH, DU-NU DU-NU NUH'? Just... it's good.

[]

**How do I funny:** The Titans are in the middle of the most serious game of volleyball I've ever seen, and Terra appears out of nowhere with this line: "So, which team am I on?" Man, she's as cocky as ever.

Starfire and Beast Boy are competing to greet her first. That's hilarious. They try to knock each other out of the way and everything.

The first thing he says to her: "Terra, you're- I mean, I- howzit- heh... whassup?" I cannot deal with how dorky and pathetic he is when she shows up.

Beast Boy on Raven: "Eh, she kinda hates everybody." Master of subtlety, ladies and gents.

"Are you gonna give me that look EVERY TIME there's an earthquake?"

The three different worms show up, and it's awesome- but instead of fighting, they just leave. Beast Boy, incredulous: "Dude, we got snubbed!"

In the middle of this pretty-serious episode, we get a video-game-style shot of Beast Boy, Starfire, and Cyborg chasing after the worms with 8-bit sound effects and everything.

The worms can fly? The worms can combine? THE WORMS ARE GONNA DESTROY THE TOWER?! That's all revealed in, like, the same _two seconds!_

Learning that her home is in danger, Starfire utters her most intimidating, battle-ready, angry speech... "I _like_ where we live!"

[]

Notes: So yes, the story was based off of Terra's comment 'I've been practicing'. I know that's really a stretch to make that into a story, but... stretching's supposed to be good for your health. Wakka wakka.

Maybe normally I wouldn't like such a happy, everything-worked-out-okay ending, but here, I just feel all warm and fuzzy. Good job, great episode, 10/10.

Next up: 'Winner Take All'. Oh, _please_ tell me it's a villain obsessed with games. Like the way Mad Mod put them in that bizarre-o school, or how Atlas kept playing video games.

(Don't... don't actually tell me. That was a joke.)


	22. Winner Take All

Season 2, Episode 9

**Perspective**

[]

And then Raven and Starfire had an entire day to themselves, since the rest of the Titans were transported into the Master of Games's alternate dimension. There was no tofu, burping, video games, or obsessing over minute details in crime scene reports.

Seriously, though.

The end.

[]

[]

[]

**Cabin Fever**

[]

_"LEMME OUT LEMME OUT LEMME OUT."_

Aqualad made an odd wheezing sound. "Please, just... ugh. Shut up."

Lying on the floor, he could only see the bright red ceiling of the pocket dimension- red, just like everything else in the gemstone. Beast Boy was standing near a translucent window on one wall, hands and face pressed against the surface. "You shut up," he mumbled into the glass.

"No one's going to let us out." Aqualad slapped his hands over his face, groaning with boredom. "I know you have trouble seeing what's right in front of your face, but this is pointless."

"Man, I did _not_ miss you."

Hotspot shifted from his position in the corner of the cell. "Well, do we have any plan? Anything at all?"

Beast Boy shrugged, his shoulders awkwardly sliding against the window. "I got nothin'. Gizmo?"

The Hive student in question was sitting as far from the others as possible, blinking and quickly contorting his face into different expressions. _"Crud-eatin' snot-grabbin' wreckin' dopin' stupid fraggin' pokin'-"_

"Enlightening," Aqualad interrupted. He continued to gaze blankly up at the ceiling. "We've practically escaped already."

"Don't be a jerk." Beast Boy frowned. "He's been like that for a while. I'm starting to think something's seriously wrong."

Hotspot rolled his eyes. "Regardless, let's think about this. The Master of Games sent us here after we lost, right? And suddenly we can't use our powers. So maybe it's some kind of magic, or-"

_"That's another thing."_ With a weak punch on the glass, Beast Boy harrumphed. "I still don't think I lost. I mean, the battlefield suddenly fell apart. How is that my fault?"

"That's not even _close_ to the point."

"Can it, Aqualoser." He pushed away from the wall. "Antelope or whatever isn't even hitting me, right, I'm totally winning- an' the friggin' cage breaks! If anything, that's the Game guy's business, not mine. He coulda mentioned that in the rules, at least, maybe a little _hey if my faulty dimensions suddenly break down I'ma just choose somebody at random an' they're done."_

Aqualad didn't move from his position on the floor. "You probably fell through the hole, and he didn't."

"Stop." Hotspot pressed a hand against his flaming skull, frustrated. "Seriously, if we put our heads together, we can probably figure something out. But first you have to stop your love banter for, like, five seconds."

"I will _extinguish_ you."

He scowled at Aqualad. "But you can't, because the Master of Games took our powers, and we're stuck in here. So think."

Beast Boy gazed out the window dramatically. "Blugh. This sucks."

Ignoring him, Hotspot turned to the only other prisoner. "Gizmo?"

_"Sock-in-a-bottle streakin' crackin' stackin'-"_

"Right. Forget I asked." He started to pace the room, scowling in thought. "Maybe we could-"

"CYBORG!" Beast Boy blurted out. The others turned, and he waved excitedly, staring out the window. "Hey! Hey, Cyborg's here! Yo, we're in here, dude! Hurry up an' get us out!"

Scrambling, Aqualad got to his feet and tried to get a better view. "What's he doing? Can he see us?"

Beast Boy frowned. "Don't think so. Looks like he's- I think he's just talkin' to the Game dude. Whoa, wait, now he's-" His eyes lit up. "He just pulled out his sonic cannon! Geez, he's not messin' around! Now he can-"

He stopped. After a few seconds of silence, his face fell. "Oh."

Hotspot moved closer, hoping to see through the window. "What? What happened?"

As if in answer, a bright burst of color lit up the room. When the spots cleared from their vision, Cyborg was lying in the middle of the floor, blinking up at them.

"Um... hey." He caught sight of Beast Boy, and immediately frowned. "Don't you say a word, bro."

But he was already shaking his head. "Cy... you _bite_ at rescues, dude."

[]

[]

[]

**Combo Breaker  
**

[]

There wasn't a cloud in the sky. The Jump City air was crisp and cool, and the midday sun seemed to gently smile down on the bustling city below. On the island in the harbor, Titans Tower stood shining and proud, as if to greet the day. Three of the Teen Titans could be seen on the beach.

It should have been very peaceful.

Robin turned the page. "I said no."

"Oh, _come on!_" Beast Boy hopped from foot to foot, practically vibrating with pent-up energy. "It'll be awesome! Don't you wanna know who'd really win?"

Sitting on the sand, Robin raised an eyebrow. "Already do."

Cyborg glanced back towards his friends from the island's shoreline. "Don't say you-"

"Me."

Robin couldn't help but smile as Beast Boy seethed with rage, grabbing at his hair and jumping up and down again. "Ugh! You can't just _assume_ that, man! I really gotta know!"

The leader glanced back down to his book. "The Master of Games already said I was the winner. That's proof right there."

"HE WAS NOT EXACTLY A TRUSTWORTHY PERSON, ROB."

Robin coughed. "Still. I saved everybody, and fought him off even when he got all the powers. I'd say I came out on top."

"Ngrhgh-" With a strangled grunt, Beast Boy morphed into a cheetah, then dashed away, running along the beach. Robin sighed, not looking away from the book.

Cyborg was walking up the incline, and when he passed the team leader, he shrugged. "How long ya think till he runs outta steam?"

"Eh, I'd say three laps around the Tower." Robin set the book down on his lap. "I shouldn't have come out here to read, huh?"

"Probably not-"

The blurred form of a giant cat crashed into Cyborg, suddenly shifting back to Beast Boy's human form. "_HeyheyheyRobin_," he said in one continuous breath. "Here's'n'idea. If you do the fight, I won't bug you for the rest of the day."

He put a hand over his eyes. "...Okay," he finally said. "But let's keep it like the tournament- you and Cyborg fight first, and I'll take on the winner."

Beast Boy barely heard the rest, having already raced down onto the more open area of sand. Cyborg grinned and punched a fist into his other palm. "You're a lazy son of a gun, ya know that?"

Robin shrugged. "You kids play nice now."

Shaking his head, Cyborg slowly walked down to the beach. He was hardly within a hundred feet of Beast Boy when he heard a sudden yell: "_Threetwoone GO!_"

A roaring lion was springing towards him, and he almost didn't react fast enough to leap to the side. Beast Boy landed hard, spraying sand up all around, and launched up again. This time, though, Cyborg had his feet planted, ready for the attack-

"Aah-AAH! Aah-AAH!" He was suddenly grappling with a capuchin monkey that had its slim arms tight around his neck, screeching and howling. Disoriented, he tried to reach up and grab his adversary, but Beast Boy had already clambered onto the crown of his head, where he morphed again.

The sun vanished. _Elephant_, Cyborg thought glumly, just before slamming to the earth.

For a few seconds, the green animal simply blinked, looking quite pleased with himself. Suddenly, a low rumbling shook its whole frame, and Beast Boy quickly reverted to human form, tumbling away. "Think you're clever, huh, B?" Cyborg wheezed. "Big ears... sensitive t'low frequencies... sonic cannons. Didn'think about that, didja?"

Himself breathing hard, Beast Boy still looked exhilarated, bouncing back and forth. "Whatever, man! Let's keep goin'!"

"Hold up." With a suspicious glance, Cyborg looked back behind him. "Is... Is Rob even watchin'?"

Beast Boy paused. "Huh? Well, he's- he's reading, right? You can't really tell, 'cause his mask's not moving, but-"

Cyborg didn't answer, but turned around, waving his arms over his head. His eyes narrowed. "Dude, I think he's asleep."

Sure enough, the leader of the Titans didn't even look up. Beast Boy scoffed. "You gotta be kidding! He can't just- but he said- and now he's-" Stammering, he suddenly stopped and glared at Cyborg. "Water prank," he said quickly.

"Oh?"

"_For sure_. We got a whole ocean, we just need some way of getting it up there."

"Hm..." Cyborg raised his eyebrows, looking back and forth from the coast to Robin. It might have been his imagination, but he thought he could even hear faint snoring.

Determined, he glanced back at his friend. "Go back to elephant."

[]

[]

[]

So that was an interesting episode.

I know this was technically 'filler', and this update shouldn't have taken so long. No reason. I won't even apologize. Weh heh heh. (This'll be more of a bullet-points list, since it's more of a comedy episode.)

Honestly, I dig this whole setup. For some reason, I've always had a thing for tournaments and structured fights in stories like this- it has the intensity and stress of regular conflict, but there's also a sense of worry, since the characters aren't completely in control of what's going on. And then they just have to wait, and _wonder_. I don't know, I think it's interesting.

This card game seems awesome. All elemental, with the different cards defeating each other rock-paper-scissors-style. And what wins? The _meteor_, of course.

Aqualad's powers got WAY more impressive. Basically waterbending a giant pillar of ocean into Speedy's face. I thought he just talked to fish.

These arenas are really inventive. One was a cage match, floating above blackness; one was a ton of floating platforms the fighters had to jump between; another was a circle of rock pillars in a huge expanse of water; and one was a really eerie tunnel-like setting.

The later ones are great, too- Robin and Speedy start their battle on a desolate moon or something, and it really reminded me of Final Destination from the Smash Bros. games. Then suddenly the whole place is falling apart, and they keep fighting on a cascade of falling rocks. _On top of the rocks._ While they're falling.

Alright, I wasn't completely sold on the Master of Games's nice-guy act, but I didn't see the twist coming: he gets the losers' powers. All of them. That's pretty fun.

This is gonna sound strange for a cartoon show, but the camera work (or... art design, I guess?) is fantastic. The angles, the different shots, the style of animation, it rocks. You don't just see a top-down view of a fight, or a static side view. Instead, you get angles from all over the area, perspective of one of the characters, or incredibly fast-moving shots of a particular move or attack. I feel like I'm trying to praise something I don't totally get, but whatever.

Does... does Robin's cape repel fire? He gets a gigantic blast of explosion right to the face, and he just raises his cape, and he's fine. Did I miss something?

I was a little underwhelmed by the final fight, but then I remembered this is mainly a comedy episode. Robin just straight-up kicking the gem to save the day is, now that I think about it, the perfect way to end the fight.

So... is Gizmo an 'honorary Titan', or not? Robin acted like he was, but should I take that seriously? It'd be kinda cool.

[]

**Stuff**: I love that Starfire has no idea how card games work. "Fold? ...That is good? I am victorious?!"

Boy, who knew Robin was so susceptible to mind games when he's gambling? Cyborg clearly has an amazing final card, and Robin plays right into his mechanical hand.

The 'Master of Games' appears to be a silverback gorilla. I don't know what I think about this.

Apparently Beast Boy's lifelong dream is to moped around Paris with a flock of French girls chasing him. That's EXACTLY what I thought it would be.

In a more serious episode, this would bug me, but here it's just hilarious: there is NO explanation given to where this place is, why it exists, or how they got here. They just show up- Robin even casually mentions how it's an 'alternate dimension'- and no one bats an eye. I love it.

Gizmo: Great, he's hilarious (and his angry swearing is friggin' _adorable_). Aqualad: Cool, haven't seen him in a while. Speedy: Had no idea he was in this show, but it's pretty funny how similar he is to Robin. Hotspot? Never heard of him, but he has some cool powers. And then-

...Wildebeest? That- that's his power? _Being a wildebeest?_

Beast Boy morphs to skunk form in his fight. He proceeds to do exactly what you'd think.

Twist ending, Marvel-after-credits style: Raven, Starfire, and Terra show up, and the Master of Games starts the entire spiel all over again. It's pretty great.

[]

I don't have anything clever to say here. I just really wanna watch the next one. S'called 'Betrayal'. I'm kinda hoping it'll be another serious one- and if it is, Terra will probably show up, right? She wasn't really in this one, and the end of 'Titan Rising' made it seem like she's really here for good.


	23. Betrayal

Season 2, Episode 10

**Catharsis  
**

[]

Beast Boy didn't wake up screaming.

But his throat stung, and the air scratched from the inside when he breathed, and he could hardly make a sound. Of course, he hadn't needed to talk much these last few days.

It wasn't hard to guess what had happened when he saw Robin, standing in the open door, just like last time. He shifted to a sitting position on the side of his bed, head hung low. "Sorry," he muttered, but it turned into a rasping cough.

Robin didn't say anything. Arms crossed, he looked down at the ground, apparently deep in thought.

The silence was starting to wear on him. Beast Boy rubbed his eyes, making as little sound as possible. Last time he'd had nightmares about Terra, Robin had awkwardly tried to tell him things would get better- now, however, he just looked lost.

Finally, he looked up. He jerked his head to one side, as if to say: _Come on_.

Beast Boy slipped off the bed. He padded quietly after his leader, moving through the silent halls of Titans Tower, the dull pain still keeping him from saying anything. When Robin stopped in front of one of the training rooms, though, Beast Boy found his voice. "Dude," he exclaimed. "What are we doing here?"

"It's for the others," Robin said quietly. Already inside, he disappeared in the dark room before fluorescent lights suddenly illuminated the space. "I didn't want them to hear whispering at night and get the wrong idea. Like we're keeping something from them."

Beast Boy cautiously stepped through the door. "Are we?"

"...I suppose." Robin looked around, sweeping his gaze over the workout equipment and machines.

He made his way towards a punching bag suspended from the ceiling. "Okay, but why here?" Beast Boy called.

Robin's expression became darker. "That's mostly for me." He threw his fist forward.

The first punch seemed to happen in slow motion. Ripples from the impact shook the leather of the bag, but it didn't have time to swing back- Robin's second strike had already landed, launching the lower end into the air. The sudden flurry of movement made Beast Boy step away, eyes wide as Robin continued the assault. His punches only increased in speed, and he moved forward to catch his target even as it moved further away.

After a viciously quick jab, he growled and stepped aside, letting the punching bag swing back and forth like a pendulum. Chest heaving, he turned his head slightly, but didn't look at Beast Boy as he spoke. "Slade's not just evil."

Beast Boy furrowed his brow. "What?"

He raised his fists again, attacking with another set of short punches. "He's different from the others," he said in between hits, and it almost sounded like he was talking to himself more than Beast Boy. "These villains- they want to get rid of us, so they can take over the city. Make money. In short, they just want power."

Stopping the bag's momentum with an open palm, Robin used his other hand to deliver a straight-armed punch that caused it to smack against the wall. "But Slade..." He gritted his teeth. "Slade already has the power. And he knows it."

Beast Boy didn't speak until the shiver was gone from his back. "So what?"

On the return, Robin struck at the right instant to halt the bag's movement completely. "You know I don't like guesses," he said, panting. "Theories and ideas without any evidence. But I think I know why Slade's doing this."

"I'm not following, man." Beast Boy frowned. "Doing _what?_"

"Don't you wonder why he's fighting? Why he keeps trying, again and again?"

The room suddenly seemed quiet. Robin still wasn't looking at him, but staring at the ground. "It's us, Beast Boy," he said softly. "He doesn't need to get rich, or control anything. It's always been us. He's not going to stop until he's destroyed every one of the Titans, because that's all he cares about."

"And he'll do anything to take us down. Anything."

Beast Boy hadn't realized he was holding his breath. He exhaled, trying to wrap his mind around what he was hearing. "Rob," he began, "I'm not stupid."

The words caused Robin to look up immediately. "What?"

He scowled. "I know what you're doing, but not everything's a conspiracy, dude. She-" His voice caught, and he looked away, blinking. "She had a choice."

"No, that's not what I-"

"Then what?!" he yelled. His voice echoed in the blank room, and for a second, Robin looked stunned. "What, Rob? Why talk about this?"

The leader of the Teen Titans stood, somber and quiet, while Beast Boy jabbed his finger in his face. "You think you know what it was like? You think we're the same, just 'cause he took her away from us an' he made you his-"

He stopped cold.

Robin... _did_ know. Of course he knew.

Slade had played them both. This time, though, instead of robots tearing apart bloodstreams, his ace was Terra.

And, wide-eyed and hopeful, Beast Boy had walked right into the trap.

The revelation stung. Slade didn't just trick them- he'd deceived them both on such a deep level, using their compassion and friendship like weapons, that after he slipped away, there was nothing left but a hollow feeling that their very identities had been destroyed.

_And Robin knew._

"Dude, I-" He could barely breathe. "I didn't-"

"It's alright." Robin's voice was there, but his vision was blurred, he couldn't see him-

Beast Boy fell to his knees, slamming his hands against the floor. "I can't-" The words wouldn't come, no matter how hard he tried. "I-"

"Don't worry." He glanced up, trying to see through tears, and Robin was kneeling in front of him. "I get it."

That was it. He cried, caught in the feeling of helplessness, unable to think of anything except Slade, Slade and Terra and everything falling apart and _why did it have to be this way?_

"I hate this, man," he said between sobs. "I freaking hate this."

"Yeah." Robin put a hand on his friend's shoulder, head bowed. "Me too."

The muffled crying was the only sound in the training room. An electric light flickered, casting everything into a darker light with a faint hiss, before flaring back to life.

Eventually, Robin sighed. "But we need you."

Beast Boy didn't look up, but became quiet. "I don't want to see you give up. And Slade... he's not gonna stop." Robin pressed a hand to his forehead, looking exhausted. "That's all I was trying to get at, really. I know it's hard, especially after Terra- but I mean it. We need you."

He was shaking, and Robin hesitated before putting an arm around his shoulders. "You can do this. And we'll be here, and- I mean, we'll-" He took a minute to choose his words. "There's nothing you have to keep to yourself."

"...Yeah." Finally, Beast Boy looked up, only faint traces of tears around his eyes. He took a shuddering breath, glancing up at the ceiling. "Right."

[]

[]

[]

**Leash**

[]

It would be... arrogant, to say he'd done it all with a single strike.

Arrogant, yet true.

He couldn't help thinking they'd fallen like dominoes, block after block until it hardly seemed he was even to blame. A push here, a word here, and suddenly the Teen Titans were every one lying in their own ashes, blinking up at the sky while wondering how they could have lost so much, so fast.

He marveled at how simple it had been. Sometimes it seemed that the universe itself listened to his every whim- true, he could not shape the elements, as Terra could. But he didn't have to.

Jump City was still pliable. Still waiting for someone to take control.

The rest had never come close. Oh, they'd tried, but the fatal flaw came in thinking to take control of the city, you had to eliminate the Titans. That tactic was doomed from the start.

The Titans were the end, not the means.

He hadn't realized the _potential_ of it all until Robin had made his move. It was almost inspiring, really, to see the young man so full of anger, so ready to break his own rules to do what had to be done. The blackmail had been... blunt, in truth, but exceptionally persuasive. And if he, without any powers beyond his own mind, could turn the leader against his team, what else was possible?

He'd known then that he could do anything. Terra's appearance had been a divine gift- her fear, her unstable powers, her shame over her past- and he instantly saw the weaknesses as his own advantage. Again, a few well-placed words had been all he needed.

They lied to you, Terra.

They'll never trust you, Terra.

The pieces moved, one by one, never realizing whose hand controlled the game. She'd come back to him, distraught and angry, but he could see it in her eyes: she didn't hate the Titans. Not yet. He'd bided his time, cautious not to move too quickly, but all the while a plan was forming in his mind: Terra could do what he couldn't. She could gain the trust of his enemies.

And, more importantly, she could make her way into the Tower itself.

He waited. Time was needed to convince the Titans that Terra had truly mastered her powers. She had, of course, under his tutelage, but they couldn't afford even a hint of suspicion- Raven's mistrust had nearly caused the entire facade to collapse.

Raven. Hah. She'd been so close... but no matter how painful it was to feel the sting of a friend's betrayal, it had to be worse still to know you could have stopped it.

And even Terra didn't know what he was planning- the day he sent her out, to greet them with a smile of hope, he knew she still did not hate them.

She wouldn't be able to destroy them. Not as she was.

He didn't let on that her growing friendship with the changeling was no secret. Even this was another idea, another move to be planned and carried out at the right time. Terra herself was just as much a pawn as the others.

When it finally happened, and he'd learned the cracks in the Titans' armor, and Terra had left the Tower defenseless, it was almost too good to be true. The Titans who remained had been shocked, scrambling to fight back even as their home was overrun. Their fear was palpable- to strike at the heart of safety and familiarity was to become terror itself. The robots had done their job well, but he wasn't finished.

He sent in the robots... and ambushed Terra.

The changeling's presence had been unexpected, but as he fought, he continued thinking, using the circumstances to his advantage. After all, what better place to reveal Terra's betrayal than here, to her closest confidante? And what better way to sever her ties with the team forever?

It had surpassed anything he'd hoped.

"Slade was right. You don't have any friends."

And the pawns, turning, ripped themselves apart.

He'd known what he was doing, from the beginning. The Titans' greatest vulnerability was always in the things they loved, the things they feared to lose. And in a single night, he'd shown them exactly how defenseless they truly were.

Robin couldn't protect his friends from danger.

The changeling couldn't save what he loved.

Raven had a chance to warn them, and she hadn't.

The rest... they couldn't even defend their precious Tower.

He saw their terror, their complete and utter dread, but it was nothing compared to the face of the girl in the hall of mirrors, staring at a myriad of her own reflections, sobbing and whispering, "What have I done?"

...

But at the end of it all, Terra was still by his side. Every piece was exactly where it needed to be. And he'd never been more sure:

The Titans were _his_.

[]

[]

[]

...

...Guys.

I kind of hate everything.

Did I make it clear that Terra's one of my favorite characters? She's funny, she seems genuinely likeable, she has really great action scenes, and she actually interacts with the other Titans in believable ways, at least in my opinion. A couple reviewers have warned me I might not like this one, and it did not make it any easier.

BY THE WAY PLEASE IGNORE THE STORY WHERE TERRA FIGHTS A MADE-UP VILLAIN TO PROVE SHE'S CONTROLLING HER POWERS. As if I'm not disappointed enough, I now have to admit that that story's bunk, because Terra was friggin' lying to everybody the whole time.

So yeah. This show has ripped out my heart and all that sappy stuff. And, weirdly enough... I still really, really loved this episode.

It felt a lot like 'Masks' from the first season. There was just so much happening, that when it ended, I just kinda sat there, wondering how to move on with my life. Terra was- *pushes down urge to rant*- _dynamic_, to say the least. Beast Boy was great. Slade was great. The fights, the dialogue, the character development...

Oh boy. Let's just starta'tha'beginnin'.

The opening is (holy crap I've been waiting for something like this) all SIX Titans, fighting together in really creative ways, especially Terra. Raven levitating the boulders Terra throws. Robin doing acrobatics off of floating platforms. It rocks.

Slade's reappearance and the revelation that someone's creeping on the Titans happen at the same time, and it instantly marks this as a really serious episode.

And I mean _serious_. In a later battle with Sladebots, Starfire worriedly yells, "They are too numerous to fight! What shall we do?" And Robin doesn't even blink. "Fight anyway." That's just metal.

But the real focus is on Beast Boy and Terra, and... geez. You guys, I don't ship. Seriously. I swear I don't. But these guys are _adorable_. Watching their scenes was like the very first time I ever saw a cat video on the Internet. ('Cause let's be honest, they get annoying after a while.) I know it's just a teenage crush, but you could really feel the heartbreak from both of them by the end. Even the more normal stuff, like when Beast Boy finally gets up the courage to ask her out- and she rapidly says no, runs away, comes back, and says yes- is enjoyable.

Like this: they're at the carnival, right, and Beast Boy's worried that Terra has her mind somewhere else, so he asks if anything's wrong. "Cause I'm having fun! And I really want you to have fun. But if you're not, you know, with me..."

She just grins. "Beast Boy, you're my _definition_ of fun."

...Okay, now that I write it out that's actually kinda cheesy but JUST LET ME HAVE THIS MOMENT, OKAY.

Sidenote: Slade is freaking amazing. If I wasn't before, I'm officially on his bandwagon as one of the best, most manipulative villains of all time.

Let's hit the ending, too, because this was a finale that rivaled 'Terra' for how incredible it was. (Again, just my opinion.) Not only do we see Beast Boy square off against Slade, but we get a freaky showdown in a hall of mirrors, Terra's confession, Beast Boy turning his back on her, Terra _going back to Slade_, and the rest of the Titans looking around the wrecked Tower and just thinking about how awful everything's been.

All in a few minutes. Roll credits. I don't _think_ I cried, but that's a shaky maybe.

Dang, guys, what do we have, like three episodes left in the season? Where could we possibly go from here?

[]

**Funny** **stuff**: Even in the middle of battle, Beast Boy is still dopey for Terra. Speaking of which, there's a point where he shows up at her room, completely speechless with little hearts goin' all over his head. Wouldn't be that funny, except Terra has an amazing expression of pure confusion. They don't even have to say a word, and I'm laughing.

He runs through five scenarios that, in his mind, would have given him a better chance of asking her out. He pictures himself as a bodybuilder, a romantic Italian painter, a slick 50's-style greaser with a moped, a... puppy?... and finally, just himself, but begging and pleading in the rain with music behind him. There's just a TON of visual jokes in this episode.

The old-timey Americana diner is awesome. Beast Boy freezes, then in a complete monotone: "This... is the greatest pie... in the history of pie."

There's a bizarre metaphor that goes for like, a whole minute, where Terra's a football star, Cyborg's a reporter, Robin and Starfire are teammates, Raven's a cheerleader, and Beast Boy's just a dog. All because Terra got a slice of pizza. Hermph.

Raven has a fantastic moment where, during the robot fight at the Tower, a few try to go in her room. They are _demolished_. It's a beatdown.

It was incredibly satisfying to see Beast Boy throw Slade around like a rag doll. Gorilla form, of course.

Terra takes out the entire Ferris wheel by causing an earthquake. Not funny, exactly, but awesome.

[]

I'm just wiped out, man. From writing this, and from thinking about how intense this episode was in general. The next one's called 'Fractured', and I'm trying to brace myself for more feels.

Feels. That's witty, with-it Internet slang, right there. I'm so hip.


	24. Fractured

Season 2, Episode 11

**Vagabond**

[]

The engine revs.

I swear I can hear monsters clawing at the door, and lions and dragons waking up and growling with fire in their teeth. Maybe I'm the one who's waking up.

This is more than a racer. When I got my motorcycle, everything's _right_. Not saying I'm meant for something, but if I am, this is it.

And if there's one thing I can't stand, it's someone else telling me what I can't do.

"No helmet? You ridin' with a death wish?" The idiot on the scrap heap a few yards away grins like he just told the friggin' funniest joke ever. His bike looks like it's held together with duct tape, and I gotta hold back 'fore I tell him if anyone dies, it'll be him.

Don't wanna threaten the guy. Not yet.

Instead, I raise my hand to my head, tapping the black metal. "Skullcap," I say. "More than enough. You goin' blind in your old age, boss?"

He scowls. "You ain't with us anymore, y'know. Gonna lose the race, jus' like you'll lose your gang."

I shrug. "I try to live in the present." Revving the engine again, I turn towards the open road in front of us. "Are we doin' this?"

In answer, he flicks a dark visor over his face and looks the same way.

No signal. No lights, or gunshot, nothing. We just go.

It doesn't take long to break the speed limit, and soon we're flying down the abandoned roads and back alleys in the outskirts of the city of Overpass. My ride's in better shape than his, but he's smart- he's taking routes I barely remember, and he's not letting up for a second. He peels around the corner of a decrepit building, and I take the same turn, nearly driving my foot into the gravel when I slide.

He's off the track. Gunning sideways, heading for a parking garage that's practically torn down already.

Just for a second, I ease off the gas, thinking it over. Could be the chance I need to take lead, but... no. When the boss man throws down a challenge, can't pass it up. I follow, zooming underneath road signs full of directions and faded maps.

The circular ramp takes me through three stories, and I see him at the top, still racing towards the brink. The brink where there's a ramp.

I should have expected as much.

I blink, and he's gone. With a growl, I push to top speed, letting go at the edge- _oh, you PUNK_.

He's on the roof of a building close by, probably just after landing. Thing is, it's to the left, just far enough that he didn't have to make it obvious he was gonna turn before he jumped. For a second, I'm flying free, staring down at the ledge that isn't quite close enough, suddenly facing the fact that I might die here.

Funny, 'cause I swear I'm more alive than ever.

There's a foot-wide ledge on the lip of the rooftop, and my wheels spark and hiss when I touch down. If he's surprised I made it, he doesn't let on- doesn't even look back. He just keeps going, slipping into the dark space of another spiral ramp. Another garage. He must've scouted the whole route already.

We both end up on street level, but now I'm a few hundred yards behind. Not sure exactly where we are- I think we're closer to the edge of the city, and I'm proven right as he revs down an open highway. The scenery around us gradually changes from decrepit buildings and neglected construction to open air and California desert. Pretty soon, I don't think we're in Overpass at all.

That's not good. My ride's bulky, good for sharp turns and city terrain, but I don't know how it'll do on roads like this. He's still further ahead, almost like he's not moving, a single spot in my vision while exit signs and billboards fly backwards.

An unmanned toll booth vanishes, and suddenly I'm on the open road, nothing ahead of me but dry, flat land and a wide sky.

He stops.

It's a slow, carefree brake, but eventually he's coasting, and I suddenly realize: it's over. I lost.

He takes off his helmet, grinning as I approach. "What'd I tell ya?"

I'm not completely off the racing high yet- the ground's shaking, just a little, and if I don't concentrate, it looks like he's blurring back and forth. "Yeah, you called it good," I say easily. Not showing fear, but not trying to make him mad, either. "Guess that's it, huh?"

"Guess that's it," he repeats. Then, shaking his head: "What were ya thinkin'? S'like I said, we can't let ya back in. If ya challenge, an' ya lose, you're gone."

Already off the bike, I shrug. "I know. But maybe stayin' a loner's more my thing, anyway."

"We don't work like that, man." He gets off the seat, letting his ride balance on its stand, before walking towards me.

"Not here." I glance back, seeing the dark horizon of a thousand buildings standing out over the road. "Somewhere else... I'm hearin' a lot about Jump City."

"Jump?" He raises his eyebrows. "That town's got more'n it can handle, believe me."

I know all about the Teen Titans, but I decide not to bring it up. "Can't wait to find out," I say with a smirk, then turn back to my bike.

"Not that simple, man."

I hear a click.

Not turning around, I slowly raise my hands. "I already lost," I say slowly, calmly. Hoping he's not doing what I think he's doing. "I said it, boss, I'll leave. You don't gotta worry about seein' me 'round here."

But he's already pressing the gun against my back, under my right shoulder. "Sorry," he says with a satisfied lilt in his voice. "Can't just letcha walk away. Ya need a lesson. Somethin' to make sure ya won't forget us."

Something hits me. If I take even _one more second_ to think about this, I won't do it.

No time to think. Just do.

I spin around, grab the gun, and yank it out of his hand. Don't worry about the danger. Just move, take the gun, and-

And press it against his head. "Nice try, boss."

I pull the trigger.

A burst of plasma energy flies from the barrel, striking his temple, knocking him to the ground. I turn away before he collapses to the pavement, wincing and groaning in pain. Not harmless, but not fatal.

A non-lethal weapon. I'll leave him to wonder if I knew.

Pausing before I get back on the bike, I flip the gun in the air and catch it. Good weight. With a little practice, I could probably fire it from the seat without slowing down.

"Take care, boss." I take hold of the handlebars, looking forward at the road. It seems to open up, leading a hundred different ways, all for me to ride. "Probably never see you again."

The engine revs, and I sit down. "Oh, and if anyone asks how ya got beat up-"

I pause. He looks up.

Jump City waits.

"Tell them Johnny says hi."

[]

[]

[]

...Larry? Haha, what Larry? I don't know any Larry.

Larry doesn't exist.

Ooooh boy. This is one of the ones I was warned about, and... yeah, I understand the frustration. See, with 'Betrayal' we had one of the most incredibly intense and emotional episodes of the whole show so far. Terra's decision and Slade's revelation that he still has power over the Titans' lives and knowledge of their weaknesses- that all happens at the same time. And then the next episode is called 'Fractured'.

Can you blame me for being excited?

I was very wrong, though. If you don't remember, this episode was filler. It was _beyond_ filler. But that's not the problem some fans- and me, to an extent- had with this episode. After all, we can all use a lighter story after a heavy one. A break to calm down after a dramatic moment.

No, the problem is Larry.

It starts with the theme song. The singer's different, almost like they're trying to sing badly to be funny, and a fat chibi Robin face keeps zooming around the screen on a go-kart. That's the first clue that something weird's happening.

Let's recap: Robin, in trying to take care of new villain Johnny Rancid (who I've decided is objectively awesome), breaks his wrist in the fight. He's frustrated with himself, because he almost never messes up on missions like this, and is understandably upset when he's forced to send the other Titans to go after Johnny again without him. That's a cool idea- especially since the show is acknowledging that Robin is sometimes _too_ perfect- but then it goes a little nuts.

A tiny, squeaky-voiced version of Robin from another dimension pops out of his skull.

...You guys, this is the first time I have actually wanted to stop the episode and just watch the next one instead. Larry is _obnoxious_. I apologize if there are any die-hard Larry fans out there, and I totally respect that you like him or think he's funny, but to me, he seems like the most unnecessary character ever. Why?

Two reasons, I think. The first is that his personality... doesn't really make any sense. He keeps insisting that he's just like the real Robin, and they should be 'buddies', but they're _nothing_ alike. This guy is loud, rude, constantly making inane mistakes, and doesn't think at all before acting. Sounds like the opposite of Robin, if anything.

The second reason is that his little speech to Robin at the end- the lesson of the day, I guess- is cheesy. I mean, it's bad. Robin's down on himself for making mistakes, and Larry has to encourage him to keep trying, and teach him that it's okay to mess up as long as you get back up and _are we really doing this?_ Are we really gonna say that Robin suddenly forgot everything he ever knew about responsibility and needs this ADD toddler to remind him?

One more thing. A little bit of plot: Larry has a 'magic finger', and it allows him to bend the laws of reality. Predictably, he accidentally breaks those laws around all of Jump City, throwing everyone and everything into an insane Picasso-like universe where nothing makes sense. That reality-rift is what allows Johnny to come back and become even stronger. So, from a certain angle, you could totally say that _Larry was the bad guy in this episode the whole time. _

So, as you can see, I am not a fan of the midget. I wish he hadn't been in this episode. I did not enjoy his screen time. However, **I don't hate this episode**. Because, even though it was filler, they threw in way more creative and interesting moments than just Larry.

And most of them really, really work.

For example, there are a couple of fun moments in the beginning. When Larry is introducing himself, he first does it as a garbled name that passes way too quickly to understand- but in the background, you can see 'DICK GRAYSON' pass along the walls behind him. I have no idea why it's there, especially in a show that's so famously quiet about the secret identities, but it's kinda fun. Also, when he's just yelling 'Larry' over and over (which I mostly hated), there's one very quick shot of an old-timey Robin face, like from the earliest Batman comics.

And the ending to this episode is _amazing_.

The Titans and Larry are nearly at the rift in the bizarro-world, about to set everything right and normal again. But Johnny shows up, and uses some kind of power to THROW JUMP CITY INTO DARKNESS. It is just the coolest scene.

And if that's not enough, the power also transforms him into a gigantic, red-eyed monster who strides out of the reality portal, then calls, "Bird-boy! Ready for me to clip your other wing?" And suddenly, a character who was lame and cheesy fifteen minutes ago is now viciously cool. When you remember that Johnny is the one who broke Robin's wrist, the line becomes _way_ more evil.

And then he gets a red-and-black motorcycle with lightning flaring off of it. Dang, that's an awesome image. Did I mention that it can fly? It can fly. And all this is happening while Jump City is still covered in darkness and creepy red lights.

[]

**Funny**: Starting with Johnny Rancid's entrance: seeing Robin, he screeches, "A little birdy name for a little birdy boy!" ...Oh, Johnny. I think you are destined to trade amazingly groan-worthy taunts with Robin for all eternity.

I'm pretty sure Johnny attacks Robin by kicking a crate of oranges at him. Seriously.

Did... did they just ride their motorcycles up the cable of a bridge? Like, straight upwards? Oh, why not.

When Robin's flipping through the TV channels, a chef on a cooking show looks straight into the camera and utters, _"And that is how we boil water."_

When the city turns dark and evil, Raven actually smiles. "Cool. I mean... oops."

And once it's saved, Starfire claps with happiness. "Everything looks so joyous and wonderful!" Raven sighs. "Yeah... any chance we could change it back?"

One joke in particular was gut-bustingly funny: in the alternate reality, the Titans' mouths don't work properly. At first, the only problem is that Beast Boy's is missing. Raven's looking around, saying "This is bad," in a worried tone, but when she sees him, she blinks. "Okay... so it's not all bad."

Then they have to borrow each other's mouths to talk. So you get Cyborg saying "Well, somebody's gotta clean up this mess. Come on, y'all," but in Starfire's voice.

And when Beast Boy finally gets his mouth back, he accidentally puts it on backwards, so all his lines naturally become backwards. I mean, duh. "Help, I can't understand what I'm saying!" But reversed.

I don't know if you can find a clip of the mouth-switching part somewhere, but it's hilarious.

[]

Logistics: First of all, I acknowledge that this wasn't a great story. I wanted to get a short story with Johnny, but something about the writing style just bugs me. I'm not gonna worry about it, though- mostly for selfish reasons. See, I really wanna keep watching this show.

I bounced around a few other ideas: the whole idea of Dark Jump City is still fascinating to me, and even though this wasn't a serious episode, I wish we could have seen just a little bit of what that would be like. Would everybody turn evil? Are they all in danger?

At the very end, Larry heals Robin's arm, but also accidentally transports him to a blank white world. It's the ending joke, but I think there's some potential: what exactly would Robin do? Wander this nightmare realm forever, while the ever-present voice of Larry keeps telling him to NEVER GIVE UP, ROBIN, YOU'RE THE BEST, YAY! That'd probably drive him insane.

Alright, next up is 'Aftershock: Part 1'. Another two-parter to close out the season, huh? Awesome. And I'm cautiously hoping Terra will at least make an appearance...


	25. Aftershock, pt 1

Season 2, Episode 12

**Pangaea**

[]

**Systems check-**

**Scanning-**

**Scanning-**

**Systems online.**

Cyborg groaned.

**Monitoring vitals-**

**Scanning-**

**Scanning-**

**No permanent damage.**

He slowly got to his feet, trying to clear his head. It was... dark, that was for sure. All he could really sense was a dirt floor under his feet, and if he was analyzing the echoes right, some kind of chamber with nearby walls.

A few thoughts filtered through his mind-

The battle. Terra.

_...Beast Boy._

He'd still been up there, hadn't he? Cyborg ground his teeth in frustration, trying to remember. They were fighting Terra, and she- she opened up the ground, breaking through the floor of the chemical lab. He fell in, but Beast Boy was still fighting.

Hopefully.

He tapped the side of his head to activate a small flashlight. Swerving the beam around, he saw that he was in a tunnel, not a chamber, and it seemed to go on for quite a ways to his left. On the right, however, the faint blue light illuminated an intersection with another path.

But that didn't make sense. Had this always been down here? A system of underground passages, hiding beneath the plant?

Cyborg shook his head. It'd have to remain a mystery, for now. For no particular reason, he picked the left branch of the tunnel and started walking.

He'd taken a single step when he heard it. It sounded like... crying? "Who's there?" he called, running forward.

The noise stopped. "Cyborg?" He was getting closer- it sounded like it was around the next corner, just beyond another crossing that was rapidly coming into the light. "Cy, is that-"

"_Oof!_" Just when he reached the corner, a small form barreled into him. Cyborg staggered back, placing a hand against the wall for support, trying to get his breath back. "Geez, what was..."

He paused. "B?"

The pale glow fell on Beast Boy's face first, and it was all Cyborg could do not to flinch back. Streaks of dirt intermingled with numerous cuts, dripping some combination of blood and sludge- probably from the lab. His eyes were unfocused, and he was shaking as he blinked. "You're... okay?"

"Man, don't even _think_ of worryin' about me right now." He tried to force a smile, for his friend's sake. "Look, we're gonna get you outta here, then take care of that mess on your face, all right?"

Beast Boy nodded slowly. "Y-yeah."

As they started walking, Cyborg put his hand on the smaller Titan's shoulder. "It's not bad," he said, racking his brain to think of what to say. "Robin'll probably know how to clean it up. Might even leave ya better-lookin'."

A hint of a grin appeared and vanished. Worried, Cyborg adjusted the light, increasing its power to reveal more of the tunnel before them. Another wall rose up in his vision before long- more intersections.

For a while, they navigated the caves, Cyborg trying to keep track of the turns and twists in his head, just in case they needed to head back. But it was tough to focus on anything except Beast Boy- more worrying than the minor injuries was his complete silence. He simply followed, seldom even looking away from the ground.

Until, abruptly, he swung his head up. "Cyborg."

"Huh?" He stopped, turning to face him. "What is it?"

A shuddering, broken breath preceded his words. "Did she try to kill us?"

The tunnel was completely silent. Cyborg stared blankly as he continued. "I saw you fall. She did the same thing to me." Beast Boy's voice caught on the last word, and he shut his eyes tight, letting his head fall down again.

Cyborg gazed down the expanse of darkness. The question seemed to echo, sounding out again and again. The answer was obvious, but he couldn't say it. "I think we're almost out," he said quietly. "Come on."

No sooner had Beast Boy nodded than they both heard something up ahead. Cyborg noticed a dim light, and Beast Boy's ears twitched- "The others," he said quickly.

Sure enough, another minute of walking brought them to a welcome sight. Starfire was hovering in the center of the passage, hands raised, where a muted green glow lit up the area. Robin and Raven stood near the wall, discussing something with grave expressions.

"Friends!" Her joyful cheer was immediately followed by a diving hug, as Starfire nearly collided with them both and wrapped her arms around their shoulders. "It is wonderful to see that you are unharmed!" She pulled away slightly, allowing the other two a view of Beast Boy. "Um... if you _are_ unharmed."

Shaking Cyborg's hand with a grim smile, Robin turned. "...It will need attention," he said finally. "But you'll be fine until we can get out of here."

Again, Beast Boy only nodded. "But where _is_ here?" Cyborg asked. "Speakin' of which, how'd y'all get here, too?"

Raven shrugged. "Some kind of pit opened up under the power plant. It basically kept me from drowning after the pipes were destroyed."

"The same thing happened in our fight," Robin said quietly. "There were passages leading into this tunnel complex from every site where we fought Terra."

"Why would she-" Cyborg stopped, eyes wide. "Uh-uh. No _way_. She didn't... try to save us?"

In an instant, a dozen details poured into his mind. She'd have been careful, incredibly careful, not to hurt them too badly in each fight. Until the final blow, when it would appear that she was ready to destroy them- and when she would open up an escape route, making it look like she had fulfilled her assignment from Slade, while keeping the Titans from being killed.

He glanced at Beast Boy, and immediately realized he'd made a mistake- his eyes were bright, full of a desperate faith, and for just a second, he seemed as alive as he'd ever been.

Robin's voice cut through the dream. "No. The tunnels were constructed by Terra- but it was to get the three criminals to each place as fast as possible."

The simple, factual deduction took the air from the cavern. Cyborg cursed himself for what he said, not daring to look toward his friend- he couldn't bear watching the hope leave Beast Boy's eyes.

"There's no doubt," Robin finished. Then, turning to Beast Boy, he sighed. "I'm sorry, but she-"

"No."

Startled, Cyborg ignored his worry and looked back.

He was leaning against the wall, still looking at the floor, but his expression was completely blank. When he spoke, only the nearly-silent tone gave any hint of emotion. "I should be sorry. I didn't listen."

"She's nothing but an enemy."

[]

[]

[]

...Larry. I'm so sorry, Larry. Bring back the wacky filler shenanigans. I miss you. Seriously, this is too much to handle.

See, after 'Fractured', I thought I was ready for a serious episode. I was wrong. We open with Terra swearing allegiance to Slade, in increasingly horrifying oaths. Serve him forever: "I will." Do whatever he asks: "I will."

"...And will you destroy the Teen Titans?"

Terra just smiles. "I thought you'd never ask."

THAT'S JUST THE OPENING AND I'M SCARED ALREADY.

I can't express how intense this episode gets. It starts with a wonderfully funny conversation in the T-Car, but everything quickly falls apart- starting with a gigantic boulder slamming into the car at an intersection. It's not even 'whoa, cool, action' or anything- it's genuinely unsettling, almost like an actual car crash.

And so begins the first of many fights.

Terra makes her entrance by _demolishing_ the car (dang, I already feel sad for Cyborg), and instantly takes on all five of them at once. The action sequences in this show are, somehow, getting even better- we see her keeping up with everyone's attacks, while still firing back enough to keep them all on their toes. She has some great dialogue, but my favorite line comes after Raven warns, "Don't make me hurt you."

"...Don't make me _laugh_."

Suddenly, crazy. Terra is literally trying to kill the Titans, which is already surprising. Then she's making monsters out of living concrete. That is awesome. THEN we find out that, through a special suit she's wearing, she's 'linked' with Slade, and they can fight together. And then, just to make things even more incredible and action-packed-

...The Titans lose. Seriously. They couldn't even _get_ to her- they were just fighting the monsters, and eventually Robin decides they have to run. That's just tough.

(Sidenote: Starfire is _way_ stronger than I gave her credit for. In this first fight, she stops a giant boulder with only the energy in her hands, launches it back towards Terra, then vaporizes the whole thing when it comes back at her. And of course, finishes it all up with a laser eyebeam through the smoke and dust to knock out Terra. Wow.)

Suddenly, character development. The Titans are planning their next move, and the conversation is absolutely amazing. Beast Boy is the only one who wants to give Terra another chance, and actually convinces Robin through one particular line: "When you were working for Slade, did we give up on you?" And we see Raven trying to tell herself that she never really trusted her, even though they had an entire adventure's worth of working together and saving the Tower a few episodes ago.

Man, that's nearly as exhausting as the action scenes.

...Aaaaand time for a prison break! Overload, Cinderblock and Plasmus are officially on the streets _and this episode is only like halfway done._ And Slade even sends each one to a location that kinda fits their character- Plasmus in a lab full of chemicals, Overload in a power plant, and Cinderblock at an abandoned construction site. Which leads us to...

Our next.

_Four_.

Fight scenes.

There's almost too much happening. Terra fights Robin and Starfire- Starfire ends up falling off a cliff. Terra fights Beast Boy and Cyborg- Cyborg falls into an abyss of doom, and she does the same thing to Beast Boy. But this time, there's a moment where he stares up at her, horrified, and yells, "Terra, you can't!"

She doesn't blink. "Watch me."

The final fight is Robin alone against Terra, and he is _ticked_. She actually has the nerve to taunt him about her murder of the other Titans. He finally asks why she did it, what they did to make her hate them so much, and she simply responds: "You were born." You guys, that's stone cold. Every line makes her more and more villainous. I sort of hate it and also love it.

And, to end part 1, they all decide that they have to take her down. It's pretty much as close as they've ever come to saying, "We are straight-up going to murder someone."

Now, you may have noticed that I haven't talked about a certain fight. After all, what happened when Terra went after Raven in the power plant? Well, I know it's still just my opinion, but I think it was _the best fight scene in this show so far. _

Terra doesn't only use rocks and boulders here. Mud, dust, sand- it's all up for grabs, and it's all used in the most creative ways possible. It actually gets to the point where Raven's powers aren't even enough to keep all the attacks away, and she goes completely rage-crazy.

And you know what? It still isn't enough. I know she survives, but at this point, it honestly looks like Terra drowns Raven.

And the dialogue... oh Lordy, the dialogue. Terra completely subverts what I was thinking, obliterating the idea that Raven was ever really suspicious, that Raven didn't really trust her. "Is that why you let me live in your house and steal your secrets?" When Raven finally, tearfully, furiously admits that she _did_ trust her, it's a freaking powerful moment.

I think you can find that fight as a clip online. Seriously, go watch it. It's amazing.

[]

Not a lot of **funny**, but it's worth mentioning:

That opening conversation I mentioned earlier is golden. Starts with Beast Boy doin' his thing, tellin' duck jokes ('because they're always quackin' jokes!'), and nobody else laughing. Starfire is confused: 'Oh, I see! It is humorous because ducks lack the large brain necessary for the telling of jokes?'

Raven has an absolute gem of a line: after Robin shrugs and says it just wasn't funny, she deadpans, "Because _Beast Boy_ lacks the large brain necessary for telling jokes."

Beast Boy just takes it in stride. "Come on, Raven- you know I'm hilarious! And I'm not gonna give up till I get you to smile." Hey, hear that? That was the sound of A THOUSAND SHIPS BEING LAUNCHED.

But he tries again, valiantly asking why the aardvark crossed the road. Raven gets him again: "...To beat up the idiot telling jokes about him." That actually makes the others laugh. Throw in Starfire, asking if an aardvark is some form of duck... man, I just love that whole bit.

There's a really, really random cut where we see the inside of an office building. Some guy: "Then I said, 'Chill out! It's not like the sky is falling'." And of course, Cyborg falls through the ceiling.

[]

Sorry this one took so long, everybody. College has kind of been kicking my butt, and I'm scrambling to get everything done. So, basically the same excuse as every student ever- _I'm just so busy, you guys. Like, __totalleh_.

After the finale, **I'm gonna take a short break before season 3**. There's **another project** I've been working on- still Teen Titans- and I really want to dedicate some serious time towards having it finished. You'll know it when you see it.

Next up: 'Aftershock, part 2'. I mean, duh. If you'll excuse me, I'm off to watch it. Right now. Can't wait no longer.


	26. Aftershock, pt 2

Season 2, Episode 13

**Vesuvius**

[]

Disaster. There was no other word for it.

The bridge was supposed to be an overpass, providing a quick east-west route through the heart of Jump City while not impeding the street underneath that ran north and south. Now, though, both roads were beyond demolished- great slabs of concrete stuck up at every angle, and the ruins of the bridge were scattered on the ground below.

Cyborg slowly made his way through the debris. The very air still seemed to reek of dust and smoke, even though it had been weeks since the destruction had taken place. Twisted metal reached out from the remains of broken guardrails, exposed wires were nearly hidden among fallen light posts, and Cyborg had to be careful to avoid craters and fissures in the ground as well. "An'at's just one dang bridge," he grumbled.

An engine's growl caught his attention just before Robin pulled up on his motorcycle. "Updates?" he asked, taking off the helmet.

Cyborg spread his arms helplessly. "You serious, bro?"

The Titans' leader took a second to survey the area. "...Right," he winced. "Sorry I asked."

Placing a hand on a section of the overpass, Cyborg started to climb one of the smaller heaps of rubble. "I know this wasn't exactly downtown," he called back, "But Slade knew what he was doin'. Takin' out this bridge messed with half the traffic in Jump."

Robin's voice floated up from the ground level. "Does that make sites like this our first priority?"

"That's your call, boss man." A step closer to the top caused some of the wreckage to tumble down, and he pulled back quickly.

"Careful up there," Robin muttered, distracted. He rubbed his forehead, scowling. "So... the residential areas might have to wait, but if we focus on the major routes in and out of the city, then... And downtown _is_ the most well-known sector..."

"The Boy Wonder, suddenly promoted to Chief of Civil Engineering." Cyborg grinned. "An' how's everythin' else goin'?"

He shrugged. "I'm trying to round up crews to get started on a few major construction projects, as soon as we figure out where to start. It didn't help that nearly everyone evacuated before this all started."

"So we gotta figure out how to get 'em back."

Robin turned to face the road behind him. "Right. Starfire's taking the news to nearby cities that it's safe to return."

A chunk of concrete fell away from the pile, nearly hitting Cyborg on the way down. "Think they will?"

He hesitated. "...I hope. Their _lives_ were here. Still are, really. And Slade probably would have loved to see this place turn into a ghost town- I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure that doesn't happen."

Cyborg took a second to rest, carefully balanced on a hunk of scratched metal. "How 'bout Raven?"

Robin chuckled. "She volunteered to track down the last groups of robots. I don't think I could have stopped her."

"Heh. Solid." Nearly at the peak of the rubble, he continued his climb. "Prob'ly throwin' a Four-Red-Eyes Special their way."

"I can't blame her for being angry." Robin sighed. "Slade destroyed the city, but those mechs were the hammer he did it with."

One of his hands finally reached the top, and he made sure his footing was secure before pulling himself up. "Real poetic, Rob," he grunted. "You should write that down, or maybe..."

His voice trailed off. From here, he could see much more of the city- the rising sun spread a golden light throughout the haze of dust and smog, throwing every building into an almost unearthly glow. No district had been completely spared from the rampage. The skyscrapers and towers of downtown looked like they'd been hit at random, with entire blocks completely leveled while others seemed completely unharmed. Closer to the edge of town, the suburbs and highways were a different story, with wide swaths of destruction marking the exact trail the robots had taken.

For an instant, Cyborg couldn't look away. How had one man done so much, in such a short time?

Well... not just one man.

He blinked in the sunlight, trying to keep this scene in his memory. The city that he'd loved all his life, in ruins. He wanted to save this moment- so that when they were finished rebuilding, and it was all over, he could see how far they'd come.

And so he could make sure this never happened again.

The climb back down seemed much faster. Robin still had the helmet in his hands, and the motorcycle at his side, as if he was ready to leave again at any moment. He must have noticed something in his friend's expression, because he let his gaze fall. "We'll fix it," he said quietly. "You know we will, right?"

Cyborg took the last few steps. "I know." He tried to keep the emotion out of his voice.

Robin didn't let the silence last long. Sliding back onto the seat, he paused before putting the helmet on. "I'll let you know when we're moving forward with construction."

He nodded. The engine roared to life, and the leader of the Titans pulled into the street- then stopped. Flipping the visor up, he looked back. "That reminds me. Know where Beast Boy is?"

The dust must have been getting in his eyes. Cyborg tried to wipe it away, blinking quickly. "I think I can guess."

[]

_"He's getting away!"_

_Beast Boy stumbled down the stairway, jumping the last few steps onto the marble tiles of the bank's lobby. "Beast Boy to Robin!" he yelled, raising his communicator as he ran. "Comin' your way- he'll be out in a few seconds!"_

_Sure enough, when he reached the front door, it was still swinging. He slipped through the gap without slowing, quickly scanning the crowded streets for his target: a flash of blue that caught the edge of his vision, then vanished around a corner. "He's already down Seventh!" he said quickly. "Where _are_ you guys?"_

_No response but faint static issued from the device, and Beast Boy scowled, realizing what had happened. They weren't messing up the assignment- they were waiting for his signal, which thanks to a faulty communicator, would never come. He morphed to a cheetah, hurrying down the sidewalk, then used a parked car to launch into a road-clearing jump over the busy Jump City traffic._

_A few startled pedestrians moved out of the way, and he landed near a streetlight. Switching back to human, he had an idea- pausing briefly to smile for a girl taking pictures with her phone ("No way! It's Beast Boy!"), he transformed into a monkey to clamber up the side of the pole. The higher elevation gave him a better view of the nearby avenues, and it didn't take long to find what he was looking for. _

_Mumbo Jumbo was still running, cackling madly as he shoved people out of his way. He had the money with him, too- Beast Boy had to grin when he saw that he'd actually put the stolen cash into his own burlap bags, featuring a giant green S-with-slashes money sign on each one. Classy. _

_A couple seconds of soaring as a falcon brought him directly over the robber's head, and he began falling the second he reverted to human form. _

_"Ohoho! A volunteer?"_

_Huh?_

_He was suddenly on the ground, blinking. Mumbo had dashed out of the way, now laughing and pointing at him. Beast Boy struggled to stand up, but something was holding his arms in place. Metal rings? _

_"But I haven't even started my act yet!" the villain chortled. He kept laughing at his own wit as Beast Boy tried to pry the circles away- but every time he slipped out of one ring, it was somehow connected to the others. _

_He really hated magic sometimes. _

_"Eh?" Mumbo stopped laughing when a green mouse scurried out of the magic trap, then shifted back to human form. "Oh, that's no fun! How about another trick?"_

_With a dramatic flourish, he procured a birdcage from the folds of his magician's cape. A white dove was perched inside, looking around peacefully. Beast Boy growled, then dashed towards the robber just as Mumbo raised a white cane and tapped the cage. "One, two, three- Alakazam!"_

_Before he knew it, he found himself hunched over in the very same cage, while on the street, a very confused bird waddled around. "You gotta be kidding me," Beast Boy hissed, but it didn't take long to slide through the bars with a quick insect morph.  
_

_By the time he stood up on his own feet, Mumbo had already taken off down the sidewalk again, difficult to see in the mass of people around him. Beast Boy tried his communicator again, but the transmitter was still broken- racking his brain, he tried to think of how to call the other Titans for backup. Further away, they wouldn't know where to go, but if any of them were already close to Seventh Street, maybe they would notice the commotion and-_

_Mumbo tripped. _

_The blue face had suddenly dropped below the others. Beast Boy shook his head and rushed to the scene, where onlookers were already clearing away, to find the villain grabbing at his foot, as if it was stuck in the ground. _

_He smirked. "Not bad." Looking around, he suddenly put his hands in his pockets, like the situation was already under control. "Took you long enough, though."_

_For his part, Mumbo seemed confused by the conversation, but yanked his foot away and started running again. He didn't get far before slabs of blacktop cracked away from the street surface and flew towards him, expertly knocking away the bags of money- at the same time, a burst of earth erupted in front of him, knocking him backwards.  
_

_"You're one to talk!" Beast Boy turned to see a boulder floating slowly towards him. His eyes were drawn to the figure standing on top of the makeshift platform, who laughed as she descended. "He got past you, like, twice!"_

_Something made him pause, just for a second. When Terra was smiling, it... it somehow changed everything else. Made it happier, almost. Like the whole world around him was brighter. _

_A scratchy voice broke him out of his daydreams. "Ooh, a pretty lady! Careful, you just might end up sawed in half!"_

_Terra leaped to the ground, concentrating to raise a half-dome out of the ground that trapped Mumbo in place. "Isn't that a little violent for you, blue man?"_

_Beast Boy barely heard his response. "You'd survive," the villain grumbled. "That's the whole point of the trick. It'd be boring if you didn't."_

_Instead, he focused on coming up with something clever to say as Terra walked up to him. "The police are on their way to pick him up. Woulda told you the plan, but my communicator's busted or something." _

_"No problem." She grinned, eyes shining. "I always love bailing you out when you can't handle missions on your own."_

_Beast Boy raised his eyebrows while they started walking. "Oh, yeah? Who was it who stalled him long enough for you to show up?"_

_"You keep tellin' yourself that." She punched his shoulder, laughing again. "I'm pretty much the Titans' MVP for the day."_

_"Whatever. Your jokes could use some work, though."_

_"Really." _

_He kept a straight face, not smiling at all. "Totally. I mean, 'blue man'? It's like you're not even trying. Now, if you'd gone with 'Blue Magic Group' or something, then we'd be making progress, at least."_

_"Ah, yes." She nodded sagely. "That's the pinnacle of high comedy, right there. Or I could have called him Mumbo the Flying Elephant."_

_"Genius. Call the late shows. Do it now."_

_As they talked, he couldn't help but glance over once in a while. Terra seemed altogether at ease, so different from before- but, then, he'd seen her in a lot of different ways. Trying to impress them, angry at them, scared when she thought the Titans would reject her for her lack of control... It was really something to see her so happy. _

_It struck him that Terra trusted him completely. She wouldn't be joking like this if she didn't._

_He looked up at the sky, smiling into the sun. Jump City bustled and spun around him, and Terra's laughing voice sounded like a dream._

_It was a good day._

[]

He didn't look at her, usually. Most of the time, he just stared at the ground in front of him, or let his gaze wander over the strange walls and warped ceiling of the stone cavern.

This time, though, he looked right at her. He felt like he couldn't speak, couldn't force the words, but after taking a deep breath, he sighed. "I, uh, didn't want to say this when the others were here."

Gray eyes bored into him, and he had to pull away, looking at the ground again. "I dunno, just... seemed kinda personal."

The air was still here, and he took a second to appreciate it. In Jump, things were always moving- the people, the weather, the sounds and sights... it was strangely comforting to be in a place that didn't seem to move through time. He blinked several times, then said quietly, "For a while there, I thought we could tell each other anything. Didn't really have time, though."

He shifted his weight to one foot. "No time," he repeated. "It wasn't... wasn't fair." Shaking his head, he closed his eyes tightly. "But I guess I was wrong about that anyway, huh? You couldn't trust me. And I shouldn't have-"

Built-up tears seemed to freeze, and he didn't move for a few seconds. "I shouldn't have trusted you." He covered his face with a hand. "No, that's- that's wrong. I didn't mean, like, I never should have trusted you, since-" Stammering, he didn't notice his own voice rising higher. "Sorry, it's not- I don't know."

He seemed to latch onto the words. "I don't know," he said again. "I mean, maybe trust isn't that simple. Or... even knowing what it is."

A sudden desire brushed the edge of his mind, to read the plate below the statue. He'd tried to avoid it, and he kept trying- for whatever reason, he didn't want to see the words. A sudden laugh escaped him, sounding unnaturally loud in the small space. "Sorry," he said again. "Sorry, it's just funny. You'd probably hate this stuff, you know? I sound all dramatic."

The figure before him somehow felt more silent than ever. "But there's not much else to talk about," he said with a shrug. "Feels like there should be, though."

He took a second to sit down on the ground. "I know I sort of already said it," he began, wrapping his arms around his legs. "But I wish we had more time to just talk. Like... I don't know, knowing more about each other. Being better friends."

His head fell forward, so it was resting on his knees. "Maybe I could ask why you- you know." Strangely, he wasn't about to cry- he'd thought he might, but it didn't even feel like he was close. "Why you did those things."

"...It kinda sucks, knowing I won't get an answer."

On a whim, he looked up again. The blank eyes, that used to seem so quiet and impassive, suddenly seemed just as lost as he felt. Just as numb. "Maybe you don't know either."

The thought connected to another. "I wonder if you can hear me," he said softly. "They said it might not be forever, this... whatever it is." He sighed. "They said maybe you're still alive."

Moments passed, and he didn't look away from the ground. His own breathing was starting to seem too loud, like it didn't belong in this place. "It'd probably be really weird if you came back," he said, almost to himself. "After everything that's happened. Maybe not even possible."

He blinked. "Probably shouldn't hope for it."

She didn't say anything.

Finally, he closed his eyes again. "...I miss you."

_Beep_.

Startled, he jumped slightly. A faint light was blinking on his communicator, along with an alarm that silenced when he tapped the button. Standing quickly, he took in the cave around him.

It was tempting to stay, to keep talking and thinking and dreaming. Maybe some other time.

"I have to go," he sighed. "The Team. We're trying to, uh, fix everything. So it's like it was before."

For a second, he didn't move, feeling like he should have some kind of farewell. Then, head hanging low, he turned towards the entrance.

The thought to read the inscription hit him. He almost looked back, but realized it didn't matter- he already knew what it said.

**Terra **

**A Teen Titan**

**A True Friend**

[]

[]

[]

*watches episode*

Wow, what a great show! Now I just need to process my emotions from that finale, then sit down to try writing some notes for this chapter.

*boots up computer*

...

...

...

*throws computer out window*

You guys, I just... I don't. I can't. I have no idea how to explain this episode. For a while, I thought I was just writing down my reactions to each episode, right? But after a few, they turned into more mini-reviews, which also worked okay. But I'm starting to get the sense that I'm way out of my league. Like me trying to explain why Teen Titans is so good is similar to me trying to explain why the world is big.

Even so, I guess I'll just start at the beginning.

Picture this: a speech from Terra, remembering the recent events, as voice-over. Images of a completely wrecked Jump City. Quiet, subdued music. "My name is Terra. I have done horrible things."

"And I have absolutely no regrets."

I had chills right away with this one. I mean, they _did_ it. Plenty of stories threaten to destroy the city, but it actually happened. Slade's robots are everywhere, the buildings are torn down... she really did it.

Even after the theme song, it's still eerie. Everything's just gray, and quiet, and surprisingly thoughtful, without any music or anything. We start to see flashbacks, with each place Terra goes to in the city, where she sees what it used to be like. It's not completely clear if she misses it or not. (And yes, Mumbo does make an appearance in one of the flashbacks- I didn't pull him out of the archives just because I think he's cool.)

But even if she doesn't miss that time, it's still a really sad scene. We see all the Titans, and the sunshine and clean air, even a few loony bad guys... and it always cuts back to a dusty, empty, dark city.

So naturally, I expected a fight scene, if it ever happened, to be loud and bright and colorful to offset the tone. But no- when the Titans do show up, it's really subtle. Creepy, even. They're hiding in the dust clouds, appearing as nothing but shadows and silhouettes for the entire fight, messing with Terra's head, firing attacks from hidden corners and shadows. It's awesome, and even better, it's _new_.

We move into phase 2 of the fight. Terra's running away, basically trying not to die, while the Titans have to deal with an army of 'bots and those three monsters from earlier (I don't always remember their names, so while I was jotting down notes, I called them 'Rock, Goop, and Zapper').

And then, holy crap, they combine. Like the Power Rangers. They just up and combine everything, then start fighting with electricity and rocks and toxic sludge all at once. It's fun.

Sidenote: I'm definitely a fan of Raven's new fighting style. And by 'fighting style', I mean she just throws cars and buses at everyone.

So this is where I'm thinking, 'Wow, these fights are so fun and cool and fast-paced! I love watching these action scenes!'

Then this happens: we focus on Cyborg, who's nearly overwhelmed by a particularly strong robot. Suddenly Beast Boy shows up in T-Rex mode, and actually EATS the mech (um... vegetarian?... I don't know if that breaks the rules or not), then turns back to human, looking more angry than I've ever seen him. He stalks away, and Cyborg asks if the robots aren't enough of a fight.

Absolute fire in his eyes, Beast Boy utters, "I don't care about them. I want Terra." Then, in one single motion, he turns around, morphs to gorilla, roars his lungs out, and PUNCHES A ROBOT HARD ENOUGH TO BREAK IT IN HALF.

...Okay. I thought we were all having fun and good times here, but it seems I wasn't thinking epic enough.

Cut to Terra, back at Slade's hideout. I didn't expect this at all: he's actually really furious that she failed her mission and ran, so he hits her in the face and everything. He even makes it sound like he's considering killing her. She even tries to leave, walking away, but suddenly she can't because the suit is part of her and fused to her body and Slade controls the suit and there's nothing she can do-

Dang. Some major uncomfortable flashbacks to Robin's apprenticeship over here.

After the other Titans more or less win the robot war (including a bizarre moment where Robin detonates a gigantic bomb that was on his belt, and they only survive because Raven puts up a magic shield- does he carry around incredibly lethal explosives everywhere he goes?), Beast Boy makes his way to the hideout. It's pretty creative, in my opinion- he smashes through the door as a mammoth, then instantly goes to mouse to evade the security cameras and chew through the wires. That's some quick thinking.

Now, Beast Boy is BEYOND angry at this point, and I'm really wondering what's gonna happen when he finds Terra. But when he finally does...

"Destroy me! Quick!"

...

"Come on! Isn't that what you came for?"

This is incredible. She's not saying she wants to leave Slade, or be a Titan, or be a good guy again. She's saying she wants to die.

Dang.

And of course, the ending is just incredible. For a second, maybe _just_ a second, you're with Terra- she tries to explain to Beast Boy that it wasn't her fault, she didn't have a choice, Slade's making her do everything-

"That's a lie! You always had a choice!"

Again, chills. I don't know, maybe this line really stuck out to me because I know that's something I do: blame others, or blame circumstances, for something going wrong, when all along it really was my own choice and I don't want to admit it.

So while I'm trying to wrap my mind around that, I suddenly realize that this ending area is stylized like a church. Seriously. The music is full of heavy organ and bells, there are stained-glass windows even though we're underground... it's really strange, but it makes for an amazing final showdown. The music is intense, the colors and shadows are top-notch animation, it's all great.

Finally, Slade uses Terra's power to position her so she's about to kill Beast Boy. This is already powerful, but suddenly the rest of the Titans burst into the room, and instead of trying to talk her out of it or going after Slade... they all train their weapons and/or magic on Terra.

They're ready to kill her if she kills Beast Boy.

That's the moment I remember best. Yeah, the fight keeps going- Terra fights back, gaining control of her powers again, and turns on Slade- but that's the scene that sticks in my head. All six Titans, ready to attack each other. It's kind of disturbing, honestly.

But unfortunately, our Slade-vs.-everyone fight is interrupted. By a volcano.

Ka-boom.

Let me tell you, I did not expect that. And good Lord in heaven, when Terra stopped the eruption by sacrificing herself and staying underground... That was tough. As a Terra fan, I didn't want to see her die, but that scene was absolutely incredible.

Besides, she might not be dead...? Seriously, I don't know. They were kinda vaguely saying something about 'trying to reverse the process', so I'm not sure if she's actually alive or not. (Also, Slade's mask burned up in the lava, but I REALLY doubt he's gone either.)

Beast Boy gives a speech at the end, mirroring Terra's at the beginning. "Her name was Terra..." Again, shivers.

Then, holy cow. That nameplate? That was powerful. Simple, not too many words, but it was really emotional.

And, guys... for the first time since I started, I don't have any funny moments to list here. Not a single one. I didn't find anything, but I figure that's alright, since this was so serious.

[]

**Logistics**: Like I said, I'll be taking a short break before I tackle Season 3 to work on **another Titans project**. It'll be a short story, but I'm gonna publish it all at once- you'll know it when you see it.

Thanks for reading, everybody.


	27. RECAP SEASONS 1 & 2

First off: I'm really sorry it's been so long since I've updated this. I'm still progressing on the standalone Titans story, which should be done soon- and after that, I'll get right back to season 3 of 'When There's Trouble'.

But I thought I'd post something anyway, just to break up the monotony not-posting. So, here we are: **short summaries of each episode in seasons 1 and 2.**

I want to point out that these are NOT how I actually feel about the show. They're just supposed to be dumb, joking descriptions of whatever happens, like a sarcastic DVD menu.

So, yeah. I apologize if you think these are really stupid. If you do, um... I guess just **pretend I didn't update at all?** Yeah.

[]

Season 1, Episode 1: '**Divide and Conquer'-** Divaborg and the Boy Whiner have an emotional breakup. Relationships are hard, you guys.

1-2: '**Sisters**'- "Doesn't matter if you fly halfway across the universe. I'm still better than you." "Are not!" "Am too." "NUH-UH!"

1-3: '**Final Exam**'- Watch your language, you scud-munchin' zits.

1-4: '**Forces of Nature**'- Featuring Thunder and Lightning, as well as their cousins, Light Smog and Chance of Flurries.

1-5: '**The Sum of His Parts**'- Bob the Builder, can we strip-him-of-everything-that-makes-him-human-and-create-an-unfeeling-robotic-killer, YES WE CAN!

1-6: '**Nevermore**'- Raven's dreamscape is named after a quote from a raven. Also, it is full of ravens. RAVENS ARE A THEME HERE, IS WHAT I'M SAYING.

1-7: '**Switched**'- The Titans help the Puppet King on his quest to find the Blue Fairy and become a _real_ boy.

1-8: '**Deep Six**'- Aqualad is revealed to have the ability to talk to marine animals- or, if you think about it, like half the powers of Dr. Dolittle.

1-9: '**Masks**'- Red X's everywhere, huh? I guess we finally know who really stole those shoes in _Holes_. Ha ha, what obscure joke? I dunno what you're talking about.

1-10: '**Mad Mod'**\- Ah, the old British villain who abducts the main cast and forces them into a deadly, impossibly convoluted obstacle course under the guise of schoolteaching. Um... classic?

1-11: '**Car Trouble**'- Aw, come on, Cyborg. You're _driving_ your friends away. YAKKETY YAK YAK.

1-12: '**Apprentice, part 1**'- In which Slade adjusts his toupee, leans over the table, scans the remaining contestants, and finally smirks, _"You're fired." _Also, the final day of the Sewer Speedboat Racing Championships.

1-13: '**Apprentice, part 2**'- Robin has wacky adventures as the apprentice to a psychotic crime lord. It's totally just like Star Wars, you guys. But from the opposite perspective. And, uh, happening in reverse. Also with the characters... um... no, this is not like Star Wars at all.

[]

Season 2, Episode 1: '**How Long Is Forever?**'- WHEN THERE'S TRAAAAABLE, YOU KNOW WHO TO- oh, sorry, never mind. It's an alternate future where the Titans aren't around, so... the police, I guess? Call the police?

2-2: '**Every Dog Has His Day**'- Beast Boy is mistaken for an alien dog! An alien dog is mistaken for Beast Boy! Zany adventures come a mile a minute, while the other characters slowly realize they're living in a 50's sitcom!

2-3: '**Terra**'- In which Terra trains with the badgermoles of Omashu on her quest to defeat the Fire Nation. LAST EARTHBENDING JOKE I SWEAR.

2-4: '**Only Human**'- I hear Xbox Live matches often end up like this- the loser going crazy and holding a bunch of people hostage in an abandoned football stadium. Video games, man.

2-5: '**Fear Itself**'- The horror movie they get is just called Wicked Scary. You know, by the same company that made 'Happy Lovey Romance' and 'Fast Car Bullet Explosion'.

2-6: '**Date With Destiny**'- Robin gets all the ladies. Including the ones who threaten to murder everyone in the city if he doesn't go to a high school dance. Actually, just those ladies. Specifically them.

2-7: '**Transformation**'- So Starfire feels self-conscious about her body, then puts on a ridiculous disguise to hide how she looks... I think we may have just learned why superheroes wear costumes.

2-8: '**Titan Rising**'- Giant mechanical worms. Urban planning committees friggin' _hate_ those things.

2-9: '**Winner Take All**'- Wow, they're taking this 'alternate dimension' thing awfully casually. "Gee, Robin, isn't this kinda strange?" "Nah, man. It's Wednesday. We transcend the boundaries of the physical plane on Wednesdays."

2-10: '**Betrayal**'- So there's a new Titan in this season, right? And they can't decide if they can trust her. And this episode's called 'Betrayal'. You get three guesses what's gonna happen here, and the first two don't count.

2-11: '**Fractured**'- See, you might think this is just filler- but turns out, Larry is part of a devious plot by Slade to, once again, drive Robin completely insane. Weirdly, it pretty much works.

2-12: '**Aftershock, part 1**'- Boy, the way she tried to kill off all the other Titans was pretty _terra-ble. _Eh? Eh?

2-13: '**Aftershock, part 2**'- *cries*

[]

So I'm checking the Teen Titans Wiki to make sure I have the episode names right, and I get a little distracted, and end up reading the entry about Terra and WHOA.

GUYS.

In each episode where she's working for Slade, as well as the very end of 'Titan Rising'- where she smiles and says "I can't believe they trust me"- her hair is covering one side of her face.

Or, you know. ONE EYE.

*heads starts vibrating, explodes, flies into space*

Anyway, that's all I got. See you soon.


	28. Deception

Season 3, Episode 1

**Vein**

[]

He'd always had a certain... appreciation for blood.

Not like the barbarians who craved violence. The uncontrolled, unhinged criminals with a near-fetishistic taste for gore. No, his fascination was more scientific in nature. Reverent, one might say. Blood had a certain flair to it- always associated with death, despite its life-giving properties. Inherently vital, yet terrifying. Able to produce a fearful, almost primal reaction upon sight in even the strongest of warriors.

Even the word had _gravitas_. One of the many reasons he amalgamated it with his own name.

In the early days, anonymity had been essential. He had nothing in particular to hide, but keeping a low profile was the first priority, as well as the basis of any power he could hope to obtain. It was imperative that when the criminal element of Jump City heard of him, they dismissed him as both nameless and powerless.

The circles he moved in ran on the twin values of information and suspicion. Prying questions were inevitable. To deflect attention, he crafted a story, then very deliberately never told it in full. Hints and pieces were enough to paint the picture: he was simply a worn-out, useless man, desperately looking for something more in the underworld of the gangs and thugs, reluctant to admit his own inadequacy. It was, quite simply, too uninteresting a tale to pursue further. Those who heard it never did.

Until, of course, he surpassed them.

It was humorous, in a way. Any hint of paranoia or distrust could be diverted, thrown against some other rival or threat. Soon, he'd convinced nearly every major player in Jump's crime scene of his own value, while furthering their wariness towards the others. Even those whom he'd stepped over during his sudden ascension didn't seem to hold any animosity. It was, in a word, strange.

Too strange. It led him to wonder if there was something more at play, beyond criminal politics and his own silver tongue. The theory was validated when he put two gang members in the hospital simply by watching them and envisioning a violent conflict in his mind.

Something. Not clear, not fully developed, but something. Mind control. Hypnosis. 'Persuasion'. Whatever it was, he saw limitless possibilities, as well as a new outlook on life. It was one thing to live in Jump City, hearing the old, old story of heroes and villains and inexplicable powers. It was quite another to become the author of that story.

He initiated a plan. His connections in the underworld led him to a relatively new group, stationed in a massive complex in the heart of the city. The hideout was equipped with a surprising amount of weaponry, as well as tech scavenged from other, more developed districts. Used properly, it could have served as the base of a well-stocked, well-fortified army. And the criminals were wasting it- infighting, turf wars, and back-alley raids had left the gang weak and inefficient.

He decided to change things. The first attempt, to coerce the leader into unifying his followers, failed dramatically. The young man had neither a mind for strategy nor a charisma for authority, and his endeavors to conquer other gangs in the area were as miserable as his struggle to gain the respect of his own.

The second attempt was... different.

He worked his way into the leader's inner circle, gradually convincing him to worry about the lower ranks. At the same time, he relayed messages to the underlings in the gang- stories of the leader's ineptitude, full of insider information and hints at a possible mutiny. He even began to call himself 'Brother' to subconsciously (and supernaturally) gain more trust. Before long, both the boss and the band were preparing for all-out war, each having been assured that the other would be taken by complete surprise.

His powers had grown. Whispered secrets were his incantations, and suspicion was like a well of magic.

Neither side had made preparations to defend themselves. There was only the attack.

In a single battle, the gang was torn apart.

Those who remained needed someone to turn to. A strong leader, who would unite and challenge them with a vision for the future. He was only too happy to step in, becoming the leader of the compound as well as its overseer. His abilities had led him to a realization: the role of a gang leader or crime boss was not his destiny. Such criminals had he encountered, and such had he ground into the dirt. No, he'd need to be something more. He would need to reach for something greater.

He needed to redefine 'power'. Show the city a new kind of villainy.

It wasn't until the very same compound was taken over and used as a _school_, of all things, that he further constructed the idea. Children were said to be impressionable, after all. And he had more influence than most. He waited for an opportunity, staying in the shadows at the academy while discouraging criminal activity in the surrounding city. It wouldn't do to keep opportunities from the budding young scoundrels.

He didn't have to wait long before his powers were stronger still. Killing the previous administrator- they'd called her 'Headmistress'- hadn't even been necessary. He simply 'convinced' her to find other employment, and once more, stepped into the gap and assumed control.

There was no longer any reason to hide. He kept the name anyway.

And when he first saw the sea of red eyes, when he first stood before his eager army, he realized the truth about blood. In life or in death, blood granted power.

In every sense of the word, he had _power_.

[]

[]

[]

**Both Your Houses  
**

[]

"An' what was so great about the snot-drippin' loser anyway? Stormin' in here, actin' like some kinda big shot-"

Mammoth growled. "Gizmo."

"-runs an obstacle course sorta fast an' suddenly everybody SWOONS-"

"Gizmo."

"-even bigger and dumber lug than YOU, an' that's sayin' somethin'-"

"GIZMO!" Mammoth reached forward suddenly, grabbing the boy by the shoulders. When he spoke, his voice was a barely-constrained hiss. "I just asked if you know where Jinx is."

Completely unfazed, Gizmo brushed away the hand that nearly dwarfed his whole arm. "I dunno, I think she was in the records room or somethin'. Who cares? Not like we're gonna have'ta do anything for classes after this mess. Hey, maybe I should THANK that barf-smellin' nitwit for cuttin' down on our homework! Hah!"

With a sigh, Mammoth straightened and headed for the cafeteria's exit. "Blood's not gonna give up that easy, you know."

"_That's another thing!_" Gizmo's high-pitched shriek caused Mammoth to wince and cover his ears. "The whole 'Ion' schlock! Did we seriously just work for weeks on a project that Blood only ever meant for that Titans moron?!"

It was a disconcerting thought. But at this point, Mammoth was more tired of the boy's antics than anything. "Sure. Maybe."

"An' that doesn't bug you?"

He paused. "Look, little G. Blood's got more to worry about than our feelings or whatever. S'our job to be ready when he needs fighters. If he chose the robot..." Scowling, he shook his head. "Then we just need to be better than he was next time."

Ignoring an angrily mumbled _'Don't call me that_', he made his way to the doors. Only a few hallways stretched between the cafeteria and the records office, but it was enough time to ponder what his younger teammate had said. Truthfully, he'd been shocked to learn of the Ion Amplifier's purpose- or at least, what Brother Blood had eventually decided to do with it. And giving it to one of the Teen Titans? Even with a strong case that he really had switched sides, it was a huge risk. It seemed... out of character for their leader.

Unlike Gizmo, though, he wasn't really concerned that Brother Blood had sought out Stone over any of the older Hive students. After all, the guy had proven himself in combat. Threw a mean punch, too.

Walking through the halls, he frowned. Blood had taken a gamble and lost. Gizmo wouldn't shut up about how much everything sucked. And he himself couldn't shake the feeling that this defeat had been more meaningful than usual. Seemed to be a pretty lousy day all around.

But that only left...

He stopped in the doorway. "Uh, Jinx?"

"Hm?" The girl turned, regarding him with a disinterested look. She sat in front of a monitor which, unlike the dozens of other computers in the room, was alive with activity. "Oh. What?"

"Wanted to ask you about what happened." Mammoth walked towards the row of screens, trying to look over her shoulder.

Before he could mention it, Jinx turned back to the display. "Our fight," she said with a small smile. "Just... daydreaming, I guess. It could have really been something, you know?"

Sure enough, their nemeses stood in the center of the screen- the Teen Titans, fighting one of their own. Cyborg, as Mammoth now knew their temporary teammate to be, didn't look like he was pulling any punches, using every bit of strength he could to sell the act. He sent the leader flying- Robin, was it?- and immediately leaped forward to continue the fight. "Something?"

Jinx shrugged. "Having him on our side." She moved the mouse, accessing another part of the video, and...

Was he imagining it?

Mammoth blinked, then looked back at her. For an instant, he'd had the strangest thought cross his mind. Was she hesitating just slightly in her words, glancing down a little too quickly, moving in a way that suggested-

...She was nervous about something.

Narrowing his eyes, he said, "Yeah, that'd be _something_, all right."

Jinx leaned back in the seat. "I think he was close, too. Really thinking about it. I mean, part of him's nothing but logic, right? When Blood gave him the choice, I bet he at least considered it." She paused. "I heard Blood promised him his old body back, too."

Mammoth scoffed. "Can he do that?"

"I don't know. Thing was, neither did Stone."

There. Again. A barely-audible dip in her voice, a change in tone when she said the name. Or was he just reading too much into it?

He rubbed his forehead. All this abstract stuff was making his head hurt. "Shouldn't keep calling him that, J. 'Stone' doesn't exist."

Jinx grinned. "Oh, he's real, all right."

"You know what I mean." Crossing his arms, he looked back to the screen. "He joined us, lied, and when the moment came to prove his worth, he betrayed us. Ain't no use wondering what might have been."

"Hm." She folded and unfolded her hands distractedly. "Did you know the Titans had someone do that to them not long ago?"

"...Really."

"Cross my heart." On the display, the battle was already over- Cyborg stood slightly away from the rest of the Titans, while the Hive had all retreated through the smoke and debris of the collapsing room.

Mammoth leaned closer. Actually, now that he looked at it from this angle, it looked like Jinx was staying behind, close to where Cyborg was standing. And it even looked like she was about to... say something?

The screen went black.

"Aw, a glitch? Bad luck." Jinx said, a slight giggle in her voice. When Mammoth turned, she was already sauntering out of the room. "See you around."

He watched her leave, then switched his gaze back to the computer.

...Maybe she hadn't been nervous after all.

[]

[]

[]

_I kinda feel like an explanation is in order._

_Yes, it has been almost exactly a year since this little series got started. And yes, a whole lot of that time has given rise to no updates at all. I really am sorry about that. But here's the deal: I've harped on and on about that 'unnamed project' I was gonna try to finish before getting back to this. Well, it's now called 'Hemlock and Mutineers', and it's half-finished. The first chapter of the two is even posted and everything. But writing the second half has been more frustrating than any writing I've ever attempted, mostly due to my own laziness and lack of work ethic. So I decided to table that for now, and get back to season 3, because I was sick of not getting anything done. _

_That's... about it, honestly. No big dramatic reason things have been so slow. Just your old pal OG being terrible at managing time. Whoo. So from here on out, it's a normal episode review. _

I'm sorry, is it my birthday? Is it Christmas? Because I could swear this season just OPENED WITH THE HIVE.

This is a good start.

Guys, this episode is a blast. As a season opener, it works well in every aspect- it's a serious main plot and theme, but unlike the end of Season 2, it throws in an absurd amount of jokes. Not a whole lot of character moments from anyone except Cyborg, but that's okay, since it's mostly his show, and the rest of the heroes and baddies are there to highlight the things that are happening to him.

Somewhat-contradicting that thing I just said, the Hive are absolutely fantastic here. It's really great to see them just kinda messing around, as well as having giant battles- especially since I like to think of them as being just as tight-knit and dysfunctional as the Titans. And speaking of the villains, I have to clarify something. Right now, after I've thought about the episode for a while, I think Brother Blood is pretty cool- great design, great voice actor, the works. But when they first said his name, I think I about fell out of my _seat_ I was laughing so hard. Seriously, 'Brother Blood'? I'm still not sure I can take that seriously. It's amazing. It's the perfect name. I love it.

Let's talk plot: Cyborg goes undercover to the Hive Academy to figure out their plans, donning a whole new alias. While there, he ends up being pretty a pretty darn good villain-in-training, and there's a bit of a tense moment where I wondered if Brother Blood really had brainwashed him. (He hadn't, if you're wondering. Big spoiler, I know. Crazy.) Basically, Cyborg punks all the bad guys and steals their stuff. Pretty straightforward. But I'd like to talk about '**Stone**', Cyborg's disguise-name.

...Stone MIGHT be cooler than any other character in this show.

I know, I know, he's not actually a real person, but sweet jujubes this guy is amazing. Using his guns or weapons in any way would spill the secret, so he's forced to fight with just punches. Also, he can turn his entire body to rock. (Or he just appears that way? I'm not totally sure.) Picture that. Seriously. This giant, hulking dude, who literally looks like a living statue carved out from the granite of freaking Mount Olympus, coming towards you with nothing but two skull-crushing fists. And half the time, he only needs one punch to finish a fight! My personal favorite instance of this was when he fought the robotic Cyborg near the end, and shattered the cannon arm with one goshdang hit. Just one. One punch to rule them all.

Two more things, then I promise I'll give the usual list o'jokes and get out of here. First, the semi-serious theme of the episode: **Cyborg's identity**. I think this succeeded a lot more than 'Only Human' did, because it gives us something more tangible. While 'Human' focused on the human/robot dynamic (which wasn't all that strong, since he's part of a team that only has like one and a half humans anyway), this episode puts the emphasis on his past, 'normal' life before he became Cyborg. That's a lot more personal, especially when the hologram lets him see what he used to look like and remember how everything once was. So... yeah, I kinda felt for the guy. In fact, when Blood offered to give him his old self back, there was definitely a moment where I thought 'Dang, he might take the offer.' It wouldn't make a whole lot of sense, but the thought definitely crossed my mind. And when Starfire shows up and shyly says she's always thought of the part-robot-Cyborg as the 'real' one, it's a really sweet moment.

Last note. Does Jinx have a thing for Cyborg? It really looks like she does. There were at least two scenes where she was looking at him and blushing (Of course, he was in a tutu in one of them, so maybe she was just embarrassed for everyone involved). Am I reading too much into that? If I've learned anything about shipping, this would make a crazy-interesting setup, right? A villain who's kind of attracted to a hero who used to be part of her group? That's a fair bit of history right there, and they aren't even dating or anything yet.

[]

**Funny Stuff**: In the first fight, Gizmo pretty much uses Double Team. It's super effective. Beast Boy uses Llama Spit. It's just as freaking effective.

Beast Boy: "Lucky for you guys- I'm a master of disguise!" Raven: "...Yeah, a green mongoose is gonna blend right in."

Robin might have the most hilariously insensitive line I've ever heard. When he sees Cyborg's holographic self, he excitedly says, "Nice work! If I didn't know better, I'd think you were just... normal!"

Cyborg, trying to blend in at lunchtime: "Ah, sloppy joes! Just like the MAD SCIENTIST WHO CREATED ME used to make!"

Gizmo drops a tiny machine that explodes into a boxing glove and launches Cyborg across the room. Everyone laughs. Ah, high school.

There's a moment in one of the fights when there's nothing left to fight with, so they tear up the floor panels and start throwing them like ninja stars.

At one point, Mammoth looks Cyborg right in the eye and deadpans, "You have to eat the unicycle."

Cyborg finds a bomb in his mashed potatoes and casually flicks it towards Gizmo. Again, high school.

Finally, the fake Cyborg is a comedy gold mine. It can't say anything except 'Booyeah!', so Beast Boy spends the entire episode just dressing him up with cowboy hats and leis and stuff. There's even a bit where he starts reciting terrible, incomprehensible jokes, then hits the remote so the robot will say 'Booyeah!' again and make him feel like he has a laughing audience. It's kinda sad, actually.

Raven is not a fan. "...Any chance we can replace Beast Boy with a robot too?"

And at the very end, Beast Boy finally figures out how to switch on Attack Mode. The robot screams "TEEN TITANS, GO!" and promptly Sonic-wheel-runs his way through a solid wall and out of the fight completely. It's amazing.

[]

The next one's just called 'X'. I haven't read any summaries or whatever, so I have no clue what that could possibly mean.

...Huh. Feel like I don't wanna leave just yet. How are you guys doing? Have a good weekend? Do anything awesome? I mostly watched movies and worked on finishing this up.

Oh, yeah. Thanks for reading!


	29. X

Season 3, Episode 2

**Blast From the Past  
**

[]

"Well?"

The voice sounded amused. "_Well_, what?"

Cyborg frowned. "Gonna tell me why I'm standin' here?"

"...You walked here, then you stopped."

"Punk." The Titan crossed his arms, scanning the claustrophobic mess of metal above him. Fire escapes on either side of the tight alleyway somehow provided a nest of shadows, even in the daylight, and he briefly wondered if the invisible personality he was speaking to had stumbled upon this place by chance, or if convenient darkness inexplicably followed him around.

Even now, he couldn't make out any details in the haze. "For real, what's goin' on?"

"You're the visitor, Einstein. You tell me."

With a growl, he tried not to think about how ridiculous the conversation looked to anyone passing by. "B said to come out here. I'm startin' to think this is just one'a his pranks." He paused. "Or maybe one'a yours. Or both."

"My tricks are on a bigger scale. Banks. Government buildings. You know the type."

He sighed. "You're bein' awful casual with the incriminatin' confessions today."

"And yet I find my wrists spectacularly handcuff-free." A chuckle floated down. "You know, I thought you'd try to clamber your way up here. Start a fight, make a citizen's arrest... maybe even confiscate the mask."

"Don't think I don't wanna."

"So what's the holdup? Your friends made the assumption pretty quickly, but... could it be that, deep down, you're not convinced I'm doing anything wrong?"

Cyborg leaned against the wall, face tilted upwards. "Nah. Just can't prove it in court." He paused. "Hey, Beast Boy was out here earlier, right? What'd he ask you about?"

[]

His eyes narrowed suspiciously. "...You're sure you're not breaking the law?"

"Kid, look at this. Look at where I am. What could I be doing?"

Beast Boy gave the shoddy hideout another dubious look. "Trespassing. Hiding stolen money. Building a superweapon to destroy the world."

"Relax, leprechaun. I'm taking the day off." A beat of silence passed. "So..."

"Okay." Beast Boy took a deep breath. "This is your last chance, you know. If you're up to shenanigans or something, I'll have to fight you and stuff. So you... you, uh, you better tell me."

No response.

He glanced down both directions of the alley. "All right. I've officially made sure that my hero duties aren't needed, and that you aren't in the process of committing a crime." With a cough, he faced upwards again.

"Er- what?"

"_Dude you're so freaking cool I can't even tell you how cool you are_." Beast Boy seemed to explode into a rush of speaking, words piling over themselves and falling together. "_An' I know no one really knows you're even around because it's all a secret and stuff but if it wasn't I'd be your BIGGEST FAN I'm serious your fights are awesome and I wish I could fight like that and I wish I had all those gadgets you stole from Robin wait that reminds me I've always wondered how'd you steal the suit and the machines and everything and how do the X's work like are they all made of that xeno-juice or whatever hey maybe you have more of it stashed here in this weird lair this is pretty cool I think this is the perfect place for-"_

"Wow." The voice sounded startled, even uncomfortable. "Uh, just- cool off for a while, got it? Breathe a little. Just... Ugh."

"Right. Sorry." Panting, he nodded a few times. "I only have a couple more questions."

"Oh, geez. Between you and that alien girl, I'm starting to think I'll never get any peace and quiet around here."

Beast Boy straightened. "Huh? Starfire was here?"

[]

"Greetings, wanted felon!" she chirped happily.

"Oh no. _No_." The voice sounded unusually rushed. Panicked, even. "I'm not talking to you."

Starfire frowned. "But we require information! Robin has learned of increased criminal activity in this sector of the city, and I have been sent to ask if you know any possible reasons."

"No. Wait- maybe." Normally so calm and laid-back, the voice seemed to take a second to regain its composure. "I know there's a plan to rob the bank two streets down. Sometime next week. Not sure who's involved, but you can tell him to keep an eye on it."

She clapped her hands, beaming. "This is precisely what is needed! Thank you for your assistance."

"No problem, ba- uh, _Starfire_."

The odd tone made her tilt her head to the side. "Is something the matter?"

"Look, I don't mean to be rude." A bit of the fast-talking, smooth nature was back. "But it'd be better for everyone involved if you didn't stick around, _capiche?"_

"Wait!" Alarmed, she held up both fists. "Perhaps you are engaged in a nefarious crime as we speak, and you must be apprehended!"

"That's not it." An annoyed sigh floated down. "Look, if you really need to know, I'm being careful not to break a certain promise, all right?"

Starfire squinted up into the darkness. "A promise? For whom?"

[]

"Listen up."

The voice chuckled, echoing above her head. "Well, well. A pale little bird's come to visit my nest. To what do I owe the-"

Raven cut him off. "Simple. You're going to do something for me."

"Sounds good to me, babe. Let's make a deal."

"Not a deal." Her voice didn't waver as she spoke. "An order. Stop hitting on Starfire."

A quick laugh sounded out. "Doesn't take much to ruffle your feathers, huh? Don't worry. I'm not gonna steal your friend away."

"Like you'd have a chance." Raven sighed. "It was creepy enough when that Chang idiot tried it. I don't have the patience for one sleazy punk on a good day- two's really pushing it."

"Oh yeah?" The voice was dripping with condescension. "And what are you gonna do about it?"

"Probably kill you," Raven said immediately. "If you say anything that even comes _close_ to another pick-up line, I'll send you into a parallel dimension. Or maybe just your upper torso. Portals can be tricky sometimes."

The beat of silence was its own reward. "...Sure," the voice finally said, but Raven was fairly sure she could detect fear and surprise under the sarcasm. "What's so special about her, anyway?"

"Well, if you hit on Cyborg, I'd threaten you then, too."

"Naturally." Another chuckle fell through the air. "How come you're so quick to see me as the villain, Raven?"

Pausing, she narrowed her eyes. "Are you asking me to list every law you've broken so far? Because I could."

"Oh, come on. You know what I'm saying. I mean, Robin wore this suit, too. He broke laws and lived on the wild side." She could almost hear a smirk in the sound. "Sure I'm so different?"

Raven took a second before answering. "...Yes. When he used it, it was because he thought he had to. And even though he made mistakes, and even let the situation change him, he knew how important it all was. You don't."

"Oh, really?"

She ignored the mocking question. "All that matters to you are the tricks and traps on the belt. You're nothing close to a hero."

"But who made the belt in the first place?" Raven didn't jump to defend Robin, and the voice faltered when the obvious challenge didn't get a rise out of her. "...Fine. Looks like you think you have me all figured out, huh?"

With a shrug, she nodded. "Pretty much. And this is the part where you insist that you're more complicated than that, and one day you'll surprise me. Right?"

"If I told you that, it wouldn't be a surprise." The voice gave another laugh. "See you around, pale little bird. Maybe sooner than you think."

Raven turned to leave. "I agree. We'll probably be arresting you."

[]

[]

[]

Red X. Red X. Reeeeeeeeeed X.

...What a cool guy.

Man, I had NO idea what to write for this one. I couldn't do a serious bit about Robin dealing with this reminder of his past, because the episode covered that really well already. And I couldn't do my usual thing, where I make up a fake backstory for the cool villain, because we know _absolutely nothing about this dude! _Actually, I guess we get one interesting glimpse of his personality towards the end- he tells Robin that, rather than wanting to take over the city or destroy anything, he just wants to use the suit to do whatever he wants. But other than that, this cat is a freaking enigma.

No name, no face, no nothin'. I kinda love it.

But back to business. 'X' as a whole is kind of unbalanced- I wasn't sure if it was going for a 'serious episode with a lot of jokes' tone, or just straight-up comedy the whole way through. X himself isn't all that funny, but it really seemed like a joke was being thrown in every couple seconds. And some of them were... weird. But more on that later.

Red X is awesome. Being a clueless dork, I didn't put it together until they straight up said 'OH LOOK IT'S RED X' that he was gonna be the focus of the episode. And if you think about it, it's a brilliant move- the writers achieved the emotional pull of bringing back an old plot point, along with the audacity of just _creating a new character from scratch. _That's pretty amazing. And he's a lot of fun: in addition to his creed, which really stands out among the straight-good and straight-evil characters, his fighting style is creative to the point of being bizarre. The red X's can be anything- an adhesive that pulls things together and collapses a bunch of crates, a doofy metal thing that gets stuck in Beast Boy's giant lion-mouth so he can't bite down, LASERS, a constraint that pins Starfire to the wall so Red X can deliver his best/worst pickup line ('The only _real_ crime here is that you're not dating me.' Something like that, anyway), a bunch'a bombs, little buzzsaws on the back of his hands, and a mysterious device that somehow opens up the ground in a giant fissure. I don't know.

And he knows karate. And he can teleport, I think. And he uses just as many awful puns as Robin. And instead of wanting to be good or evil, he just wants to be _cool_.

Lots of detail for a character that, I repeat, we still know nothing about.

Anyway, this episode has a lot in common thematically with an episode from season 1... and for the life of me, I cannot remember which one. Robin uses the exact same monologue again: "There is good, and there is evil. The line between them is clear. Or at least, it's supposed to be." Is that the one where he was Red X, or was it from 'Apprentice'?

The 'morally ambiguous' thing doesn't really work all that well- I mean, Red X steals some xenothium, and it becomes pretty obvious that he's gonna end up helping the Titans in the end. And he does. So... why exactly is Robin having a crisis of conscience over here? Compared to the Slade episodes in season 1, this is pretty tame. Quite a few times, Robin talks about how Red X is his 'responsibility', and how much he blames himself for what happened. It gets sorta old.

But it's okay, because just when that part of the episode drags a little, the plot swoops in to make things incredible again.

First off, have we seen this Professor Chang guy before? He seems familiar. (He also appears to be the voice of that whiny dude in Mulan, but I could be wrong.) He tells Robin where the only xenothium in the city is, and sure enough, Red X tries to steal it. The Titans head off to stop him, but he plays them like five multicolored fiddles and manipulates the fight so they break into the vault for him.

I loved this scene for a few reasons. Red X has two killer lines (Goading Robin into a fight: "What's the matter, kid? Don't you wanna play? After all... they're your toys." And, after Robin asks what he's planning to do: "Whatever I want."), and the fight scenes are as fluid and quick as I've started to expect from this show. But the music is different this time. There's a lot more vocalizing than usual, and I don't mean singing. Just... kind of a mouth-noise. You know the type. It makes for a very eerie atmosphere.

But the best part is when a whole ton of shady scientist-soldiers show up out of nowhere. While watching, I specifically wrote down, "Wait, these guys don't work for X, because they just attacked him. And they're attacking the Titans, too! Who are these people?"

...Cue the double-twist.

It was Professor Chang. Red X fooled the Titans into breaking into the vault for him, but Chang tricked everyone into stealing the xenothium itself. And he even trapped all the other Titans. I'll be honest, I was kind of impressed.

The very end plays out how you'd expect: X has a change of heart and helps save the day, and Chang's doomsday thing is destroyed. Still fun, but not nearly as much as the bit before, in my opinion. Robin finally wins a small moral victory over Red X, nabbing the utility belt without him noticing, and our resident ghost-Batman-thief just sorta vanishes into the night.

So, yeah. Lots of great stuff here, but kind of weird as a whole.

[]

**Funnies: **

As soon as Red X leaves (flies away? Teleports? Dissolves into the fabric of space-time?) Starfire just starts poking Robin over and over. "Then... you are NOT a hologram?" Enter a dozen chibi Starfires to poke him for like ten seconds straight.

Beast Boy, not convinced that Robin is the real deal, tells Cyborg to 'check him for batteries'. He snaps on a rubber glove. THAT. IS A STRAIGHT-UP. PROSTATE EXAM JOKE. WE'VE DONE IT, PEOPLE. WE'RE ON A WHOLE DIFFERENT LEVEL NOW. WHAT THE CRAP.

There's a scene where Beast Boy throws a storyboard into the room, knocking Cyborg away, with an expression of pure glee on his face. He then declares that Red X must be a bionic monkey infused with Robin's DNA- but the rest of the board is full of scattered notes, images, and references to other things in the show. "Inter-dimensional imp" (with a picture of Larry), "Time-traveling" (How Long Is Forever's version of Nightwing shows up), "Part of a clone army" and "Evil twin", "Long lost brother", "Jason Todd".

Raven uses magic to make the spinning board throw him out of the room.

"Xenothium." When they hear what's powering the suit, Raven, Starfire and Cyborg are livid and shocked. Beast Boy simply does not know what anyone's talking about. And there's a really weird scene-bit where a yelling Cyborg is playing against an unresponsive Robin in a giant game of tic-tac-toe.

"So, you're pretty much kickin' yourself for not gettin' rid of that Red X suit when you had the chance, huh?" With a perfectly sincere expression of sympathy, having no idea how oblivious that sounded. Oh, Beast Boy.

After being sat on by Beast Boy: "...And now I smell like rhino butt." You know, I'm starting to wonder if Raven's secretly hoping to make her friends laugh. This is not just sarcasm. More and more, it seems like she's specifically trying to be funny. And it's wonderful.

I keep forgetting how mad-strong Starfire is. She picks up rhino-form Beast Boy like he's nothing.

...Why exactly would you tell the team to split up, Robin? In the middle of the creepy bad-guy lair, even? Come on! You gotta know they'll all be kidnapped.

[]

**So it looks like the summary, on occasion, doesn't switch when this fic shows up in the 'recently updated' list. As in, it still says 'Season 3 Episode 1' when the actual chapter has already been uploaded. In the future, I'll try to switch that first, so it has the correct episode when it posts.**

Next one's called 'Betrothed'. Well, that sounds interesting, huh?

It's 4 in the morning and I'm _out_, fools.


	30. Betrothed

Season 3, Episode 3

**Lockdown  
**

[]

The prison was designed to disorient. Blackfire remembered very little, other than a patchwork grid of criss-crossing beams of energy, so bright they kept her from seeing anything at all. The guards had walked her through hallways of some kind, and stopped in a section that seemed to function as a cell, encircled by more of the lasers.

She'd had a few seconds to try to look around, to remember any details she could. But the blinding light of the bars made that impossible. And besides, they'd placed the mask over her head immediately.

A highly-reflective carbon-based steel alloy that covered her entire face. Smart. She had no doubt the constraints that encapsulated her hands were made of the same substance. She was, effectively, powerless.

Blackfire waited.

It was strange, being cut off from so much. She had never found herself this far removed from the galaxy's goings-on. Days passed, or whatever unit of time qualified as _days_ in this system, and the knowledge that entire worlds were moving forward and making plans without her began to wear on her mind. She couldn't just sit here.

And yet, Blackfire waited.

There was plenty of time to think. To reminisce. To view the events in her mind- the ones she tried not to think about, mostly. Earth. Starfire. The Centauri police. That godforsaken jewel...

And the Teen Titans. The memories burned, and she could do nothing but grit her teeth and wait for them to pass. Her defeat had been unmitigated. No, worse- it had been _embarrassing_. She couldn't afford to fail that badly in the future. If she were ever to meet the young heroes again, she would need to be stronger. More clever. Prepared. Yet another challenge, another reason she needed to rise up and leave this place behind her.

...Still, Blackfire waited.

The lack of sight led her to rely more and more on her hearing. Eventually, she was able to discern three distinct guards who seemed to share the task of delivering rations and checking on her. One said nothing at all, and the second seemed to take every passing opportunity to mock the third, who- judging from the bits and pieces she'd heard of their conversations- had only recently taken up this post.

She had the idea when he was leaving her cell, after a routine maintenance check on the electrical beams. He mumbled something about not understanding why the security was so tight for one single prisoner, and it struck her like a bolt: they hadn't told him.

Blackfire paused, at first. She gathered her thoughts, making sure every line of dialogue was planned out and rehearsed in her mind. She couldn't see the area around her, but she was reasonably sure that she was sitting near the back of the cell, far from the entrance/exit the guard was about to depart through.

Finally, she was careful to modify her voice, injecting it with the perfect amount of sorrow and drama. "What do you see?"

Silence. Blackfire imagined him stopping, turning towards the sound. "When you leave, when you... when you look out at the stars." She added a sniffle and a slight tremor in her voice. "What does it look like?"

Still nothing. Taking care not to show surprise, she considered that she couldn't oversell the act. It was very possible that, if she gave too much, he'd realize that he was being tricked. "Please," she whispered, speaking more quietly. "It's just... I haven't seen any of it in so long."

The moments ticked by. She worried, briefly, that he'd already left. Then-

"What did you do?" he asked gruffly.

Behind the metal mask, Blackfire smiled. He wasn't supposed to be talking to 'the prisoner' at all. She had him. "I was a thief," she said quietly. "I won't pretend I'm innocent. But... this is too much."

The guard waited a while before responding. "The mask, then- it's part of the sentence?"

"Yes," she lied. "They knew how much I loved to look out at the universe. The planets, the stars-" Expertly placing a break in her words, she let her voice dissolve into soft sobbing.

She heard footsteps coming towards her. Why hadn't she thought of this sooner?

"But I suppose it's just the most efficient way of torturing me," she continued, as if she didn't know the guard was approaching. "If I can't see the stars, then there's nothing to dream of, right?"

She could almost hear the words worm their way down. Past the still-raw training, past the instructions, through to his heart and mind. It sounded like he was kneeling, now. He probably thought he was doing something humane, an act of kindness for a weary and sinful soul who didn't deserve it.

A slight pressure near her face. A hand, trying to operate some kind of mechanism. Just like that, the mask was gone.

The glare from the beams stung her eyes right away, but she forced herself to keep them open. For an instant, she could see the guard who'd helped her- a young man, cautiously holding the metal device and looking at her with wide eyes.

A violet starbolt exploded from her eyes and threw him across the room.

Blackfire stood quickly, concentrating a weaker blast of energy to fry the outside of the wrist constraints. Her hands free, she crept past the groaning figure on the ground, slipping through the gap in the lasers that the guard's entry had left. Just as she remembered, the space was more or less a hallway, and both the left and right passages led farther than she could see.

An alarm was blaring already. She cursed, realizing that the guard must have immediately contacted the rest of his peers. Sure enough, five more guards were approaching from the left corridor, while the right contained only one.

They would expect her to attack the one. Reinforcements were probably waiting in that direction, ready to ambush her with numbers. Blackfire glanced between the two options, another idea brewing.

Turning to the group of five- now only seconds away from apprehending her- she threw her arm forward. "Quickly! Take them!" she yelled in a commanding tone. The guards paused, some even turning to scan the empty hall behind them, clearly wary of more escaped prisoners. Blackfire took the opportunity to soar forward and launch a barrage of starbolts, haphazardly striking the floor as well as the light beams that lined the passage, and tore past the group as they spun back towards the cacophony of light and sound. Too easy.

Keeping nearly horizontal, she glided around more corners and through more corridors, desperately searching for an exit. After bowling over a few more guards, she finally saw it: a massive opening in the energy beams, already beginning to close due to the alarms. Getting through was a close call, but soon Blackfire was staring at the vastness of space once more.

And then, suddenly, she wasn't.

The stars were still visible behind a shining force field, most likely of the same power that made up the prison's laser system. It didn't take long for the energy to stretch and fill its expected parameters, shrouding the entire prison in a gigantic dome. An emergency measure for escaped prisoners, no doubt.

She narrowed her eyes. What would they expect now? More trickery? Strategy? Guile? Then perhaps it was time to try something different. Brute strength.

Blackfire flew to the nearest point of the force field, focusing all her power in her hands. Before long, her fists were glowing with a deep purple hue, and the energy was almost leaping away from her. She didn't take time to think- throwing her arms forward, she struck the field with a starbolt that flew continuously, crackling and shattering against the energy plane with a burning, electrical smell.

It was strong. Well-designed, too. And the guards were surely closing in close behind her.

Blackfire closed her eyes, concentrating on nothing but the power in her frame and the point of attack.

Breakthrough.

She was flying, flying, _flying_ faster than any of them could follow. The barrier was far behind her now, but she didn't slow down- she looked more closely at the stars, determining her exact target, and adjusted her course slightly. Tamaran wouldn't take too long to appear, and then...

The plans and schemes filled up her mind again. Everything she'd pored over and imagined in that prison was about to be realized; it wasn't enough to simply return home. It wasn't even enough to take revenge on those who had wronged her, although that would play a part in her victory.

She would _rule_ Tamaran.

[]

[]

[]

This was fun.

I was actually really surprised quite a few times during this one. Starfire's going to get married? Wow. Starfire's secretly a princess? Geez. Blackfire is the Empress of the entire planet? Well okay, then, I guess I'll just stop questioning things now.

Let's see... the characters were solid. As the villain enthusiast that I'm slowly morphing into, I obviously thought Blackfire had a pretty great role here. And Robin plays his part well as the angsty, feeling-sorry-for-himself loverboy who has to let Starfire do her own thing and take care of herself. (Not serious character development, but Beast Boy can apparently turn into alien animals now, which is amazing.)

Starfire steals the show here, though. She's concerned for her future, homesick in two different directions, happy to see her people, miserable because of the wedding, longing to spend more time with her friends, resolutely determined to go through with the ceremony to save everyone, livid at Blackfire once the con is revealed, merciful and gracious after her victory, and happy again once everything's all said and done. Oh yeah, and nostalgic and melancholy once she leaves the planet again. She, um, kind of has a lot to deal with in this one.

The action is also completely aces in this episode. It doesn't really kick in until the end, but once the Titans straight-up bomb their way out of a prison, you know it's gonna get real. There's a part where we switch back and forth between the wedding ceremony and Robin and co. fighting off swarms of enemies, with a single, ominous voiceover playing through the whole scene. And then, of course, the ending battle:

"You dare to challenge the grand ruler?"

"I challenge _my sister_... for the crown!"

This fight is amazing! Lasers, martial arts, throwing people through different rooms... actually, speaking of that, this one's strangely blunt in its violence. We see Starfire getting slammed against walls and shattering columns and stuff. It's sort of hardcore, honestly. Gets a little tough to watch. But partly because the stakes are so high- Starfire becomes RULER OF THE PLANET after this fight, I needed to remind myself several times- and partly because the sisters' relationship is such a big deal, the fight ends up with a lot of emotion and power in it. Crazy stuff.

Oddly, I don't seem to remember any particularly strong moral from this one. Was it... Starfire decided to stay on Earth with her friends, because... no, that's not really a moral, is it? I can't remember. Was it banishing Blackfire instead of doing something worse?

[]

**Funny** **stuff**: The Titans rocket-launch the daylights out of a bunch of spaceships that are chasing them. The pilots turn out to be robots. The Titans DO NOT KNOW THIS at the time. Let me reiterate: the Titans just shot down what they assumed to be a whole bunch of sentient aliens. Whoa.

It's clearly just a visual joke, but there's a bit during the trip to Tamaran where Robin pops up outside the spaceship and immediately suffocates. Certainly caught me off guard. And have they always had this spaceship that can conveniently turn into five smaller ships?

Starfire's caretaker-guy is amazing. He stands next to any character, and his beard and hair alone are bigger than they are.

This episode has a weird fascination with showing us as much bizarre food as possible. And there's a scene where the Tamaraneans are preparing to begin the great feast (with goblets that are actually taller than the Titans, by the way)... and then they just _dive in_. Like, all at once, going absolutely crazy. Table manners couldn't be less of a thing.

Does every Tamaranean wear the exact same shade of purple at all times?

Glurdleskletch (don't make me try to figure out the right spelling) is literally a pile of goo with elephant trunks stuck in random places.

"I can't tell what's a bed an' what's a chair an' what's alive!" B's voice squeaks extra-high on the word 'alive', and it makes it even funnier.

I really love that Robin-likes-Starfire is such an obvious fact that other characters are commenting on it now. Beast Boy and Cyborg kinda make fun of him for it.

At one point, Raven asks, "Who are we to question their culture?" That's a surprisingly conscientious and thoughtful thing to say, show, but holy crap, it doesn't work if you're also saying YES, THIS IS DEFINITELY WRONG, WATCH OUR HEROES TRY TO STOP IT.

I have to say, the revelation that Blackfire was lying really struck me as funny. Turns out the villain all along was... the villain all along. And I really love it when a bad guy loudly reiterates their plan to characters who already know it, exactly where and when the heroes can overhear. "It was a brilliant plan, wasn't it? YOU KNOW, WHEN WE AGREED IN SECRET TO DO ILLEGAL THINGS THAT WE DON'T WANT ANYONE TO KNOW ABOUT."

"Smile pretty for your new hubby!" Has Blackfire always talked like this? I can't really remember. And I'm not complaining; it's hilarious.

[]

Next one's called 'Crash'. Let's do it.


	31. Crash

Season 3, Episode 4

**"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."  
**

[]

LOOK AT THIS. LOOK AT AAAAAAAALL THIS.

LOOK AT IT.

I didn't know this city was so DELICIOUS, dog! Everythin's beautiful and magic and rainbow swirls, an' I ain't never gonna leave!

Wait... what city? 'M not seein' no city. All I see's a wonderland of sweet an' savory delights! There's a river made'a root beer over there, and that right there is a straight-up FOREST of giant ice cream cones! An' there's chicken an' burgers an' mozzarella sticks an' crabcakes an' I don'even KNOW what that stuff is! An' is that-

Hold up. Is the ground pizza? IS THE WHOLE ENTIRE GROUND NUTHIN' BUT PIZZA?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I could eat this for _days_ and never get tired, yo! It kinda tastes like asphalt, but I don't CARE, I'm just so happy!

But wait. What's that I'm seein' over that hill made'a peanut butter? Is... izzat my friends?

...

_Robin frowns. "Steady," he whispers. "Be careful. We don't know how the virus will make him react. It might be causing him intense psychological trauma right now."_

...

Oh, I know who they are! Yeah, I can't believe I didn't recognize 'em before!

They're clearly...

...

_Starfire shakes her head in dismay. "Oh, what sorrow has befallen you, Cyborg! Rest assured, we will not rest until we have found a way to help you!"_

_..._

Clearly...

...

_Raven blinks. "Stop eating the pavement. Please. For everyone's sake."_

...

The EGG PEOPLE!

They tried ta steal my waffles! How DARE those bipedal, sentient omelets tell me what I can't eat! Especially when I'm surrounded by the greatest feast known to man!

Oh, I'll show 'em. I'll show 'em good.

'Cause I'm gonna EAT 'EM.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

[]

[]

[]

**Cheat Code  
**

[]

Cyborg leaned forward and folded his hands together, staring over the top. "...For real?" he finally asked.

"Uh-huh." Beast Boy nodded nervously. "It was... geez, dude, it was kind of terrifying."

"Sounds that way." He sighed. "An' just to make sure I got this straight- it was your fault?"

"Yeah. I, uh, tried to play Mega Monkeys 4 on your recharger-thing, and it ended up giving you the virus from there."

With a frown, he sat back on the couch. "All right," he said slowly. "Listen, B. I'm mad. Real mad. But I'ma set that aside for now, because I gotta ask you a question."

Eyes wide, his friend pawed at the floor with his shoe. "Shoot."

"...What's so great about this game?"

Beast Boy's eyes lit up.

[]

"No, no, NO! You gotta make the jump!"

"I'm tryin'!" Cyborg growled, pummeling the various buttons on the controller as he glared up at the computer screen.

"Cy, I am _not joking_ right now." Beast Boy's normally-squeaky voice seemed to rise another octave with the urgency of the situation. "If you get stuck back there, the Gorilla Goons are gonna make the whole island sink again, and we have to do the entire level from scratch!"

"I know, man!"

Perched on the back of the couch, Beast Boy inched forward even more, as if gravitating toward the screen. "I haven't seen a save point in, like, a half hour," he mumbled with glassy eyes, tracking his own character's progress. "Don't mess this up, dude."

"If you'll just shut up for a sec, maybe we can-" Cyborg paused as the screen abruptly shifted, and various colors spilled across congratulatory text. "Are- are we done? Did we do it?"

"We did it?" Beast Boy gasped. "We did it!"

"Ooh _baby!_" He jumped up in excitement, and Beast Boy leaped off the cushions to give him a flying high-five with a toothy grin. "S'how it's done! Ain't no thing, destroyin' the game that tried to fry my brains!"

"Oh, wait! Wait!" Beast Boy turned back to the screen. "That's not the end! Looks like we still have..."

Both Titans paled at the sight on the monitor before them. "Final boss," Cyborg whispered. "Are you seein' how huge this monkey is?"

"That's impossible," Beast Boy said in a hushed tone. "Nothing's that tall! I didn't think game's could even render enemies that gigantic!"

"B." Turning quickly, Cyborg grabbed his friend's shoulders and looked him in the eye. "We're doin' this, man. We didn't come all this way just to give up here. Now are you gonna give up, or are you gonna _save Monkey Mars?_"

With a dramatic look back to the screen, Beast Boy shook his head in fear. "I don't know, dude! What if I can't do it?"

"YOU HAVE TO." He pushed the controller into Beast Boy's hand, grabbing his wrists tightly. "Everything's ridin' on this, bud. We're gonna be heroes."

Beast Boy gazed at the monitor, then looked back to Cyborg with determination. "...Let's do it."

They both moved back into position, hands ready over the controls while the on-screen numbers counted down to the beginning of the battle. Cyborg looked back to his friend, who gave him a worried thumbs-up, then switched his focus to the computer.

"Here we go," he said under his breath. Then-

...

...

"...Uh, B? Is this a part of the game?"

Something had entered into the level. It looked like a third player, but Beast Boy and Cyborg were clearly the only ones playing. Stunned, they could only watch as this mystery competitor made short work of the vaunted final boss, wasting no time in attacking its weak points and stringing together groups of powerful combos.

Just like that, it was over.

"W-what?" Beast Boy managed. "What was that? What even happened?"

"Don't ask me, man. Maybe it's part of the story?"

Suddenly, the game's audio cut out. A faint static was replaced by a shaky sound connection that slowly fizzled to life. "-the way a _real_ gamer wins, barfbrains!"

Cyborg gaped. "Gizmo? How'd- but you- you can't-"

"This isn't even an online game!" Beast Boy yelled. "How did you do that?!"

"Heh. I'm just that good, dorkbreath. You cheesesuckers obviously don't know the first thing about hacking."

"Gizmo, I'm real thankful that you helped save my life earlier today," Cyborg said. "But I am gonna kill you."

"You tried to eat a whole satellite while singing about strawberry popsicles." The voice coming from the speakers sounded amused. "Sorry if I'm not trembling in fear, scuz-butt."

"Yeah, an' after that, a pipsqueak like you'd hardly be a snack!"

Alarmed, Beast Boy put his hand on Cyborg's shoulder. "Whoa, no. No, dude. No more trying to eat people. That's not... that's not good."

"Ugh!" He threw the controller up in the air and put his head in his hands. "That's not what I meant! I just- after all this nonsense, I just wanted to play this one stupid game! That's all I was askin' for, Little Einstein! An' now we can't fight the last boss, so we can't win, an' I can't _handle_ that right now!"

The boy's laughter echoed through the speakers, but Beast Boy stood up quickly. "Hold up. Look."

Even though the boss was gone, Gizmo's avatar was still dancing around the screen, not far from the Titans' icons. Beast Boy narrowed his eyes. "...I think you might get that final boss after all, Cy."

He caught on to the idea. Grinning, Cyborg moved his character so the Hive villain was between them. "You ready for this?"

Gizmo stopped chuckling. "Huh? Hey, what're you snot-lickers doing?"

"Three..." Beast Boy's avatar moved into an attacking stance.

"Two..." Cyborg moved closer, not letting Gizmo escape.

"One!"

Just before they could attack, the entire screen went dark. Beast Boy started to say something, but squeaked in surprise when sparks leaped from the tower behind the computer monitor- the flash of light led to a burning, dry smell, and smoke drifted lazily upward out of the machine.

A few seconds passed while Cyborg remained frozen in place. Then, he abruptly stood. "We're done," he announced. "This game is cursed, yo. We're done."

Beast Boy glanced down at his shaking hands. "...Yeah," he said in a small voice. "I guess..."

Something in his tone made Cyborg look over to his friend. "What?"

He shrugged. "Guess I'll have to wait for Mega Monkeys 5."

[]

[]

[]

Finally, another silly episode! I've actually been looking forward to this. I think the one with Larry was the last one, and that was, like, seven episodes ago? And the way it starts tells you exactly how it will go: before the theme song rolls around, we get two solid minutes of nothing but Beast Boy making goofy expressions. Ridiculously excited about the game, angry that it's not working, panicked when Cyborg's computer goes crazy, and finally, desperately pretending nothing's wrong when Cyborg actually shows up.

In other words, dis gon' be good.

Usually, I'd spend a minute talking about how the plot stacks up against the character growth, or the action against the comedy, or anything else I thought really stood out in this episode. But this is nothing but comedy. It's all jokes, pretty much the entire time. I will now list said jokes.

_Actually, that's not quite true. Two things did make me pause: one, Beast Boy's guilt at accidentally hurting Cyborg like this. Near the end, he defiantly tells Gizmo, "I don't care if the virus wrecks the whole world. I'm not letting you hurt my friend!" To that, Gizmo just grins and responds, "Yeah, that's your job, isn't it?" Ouch._

_The second thing is this: Isn't it interesting that, only a couple episodes after Cyborg gains the Hive's trust and eventually betrays them, Gizmo is forced to save his life? They don't mention the connection in the show itself, but I thought that was odd. I mean, this kid has legitimate reasons to hate Cyborg with a passion, you know? _

-But yes, anyway, jokes. First off, Cyborg-with-the-virus is the most single-minded person you'll ever meet. Literally everything he does or says revolves around the fact that he sees everything as food, and can't stop trying to eat things. That's it. That's the entire plotline. The couch in the Tower is peanut brittle. The table is pizza. Starfire's cooking is _palatable_. Robin is... a giant steak. When the rest of the Titans try to stop him, they're suddenly 'the nasty egg people who stole all my waffles'. An ATM is a donut shop, and the money that flies out is macaroni.

And it somehow stays funny. I don't know what it is- maybe Cyborg's personality is enough to carry the repetition, or maybe the voice actor puts so much humor into the yells and screeches that it stays fresh. Or maybe the idea is just so silly that it doesn't get old. I have no idea. It just _works_.

-I'll limit myself to one food-quote, with the bonus of a straight-faced Raven quip to follow it up. "Ooh! You know what'd be fun? Let's all go out for waffles! _Ray-ven_, you like WAFFLES, doncha?"

"...More than life itself."

-Speaking of Raven, when they're trying to convince Gizmo to help them out, there's a bit where she raises her hood, and then pulls it back down. We don't see her, but we see the shadow of a million screeching demons explode out of her head, and the expression of pure terror on Gizmo's face. It's crazy.

-Oh, that's right, Gizmo! I was thrilled that he showed up again. His whole plot thread is introduced like this: "Look out, ya shoe-lickin' gunk stains! Gizmo's bootleg copy of Mega Monkeys 4 is about to go live!" Seriously, that's the best way to reveal that a character is back.

-Back to the beginning: when Beast Boy is excited to play a new video game, he can run _really fast_. Like, breaking the laws of physics and phasing through _walls_ fast.

-I know I joked about it before, but what's the deal with this game? Is it actually cursed? Nothing in the Tower can play it, Gizmo can't play it, and it somehow gives Cyborg a mind-altering virus. Yeesh.

-Beast Boy offers to help fix the problem he caused. The other three Titans turn in perfect unison, staring at him with terrifying white eyes in silhouette. He does not offer again.

-"Did you know there are 456 varieties of yams? I like yams! Yams, yams, yams..." Okay, I lied. A couple more food quotes.

-Cyborg screams "HOT LINKS! _Aw, yeeeeeah!_" before literally smashing through the wall of the Tower. This is before we have any idea what's going on.

-The music in this episode is cool, but becomes hilarious in context. There's a montage of the Titans chasing Cyborg through the city (while he's trying to eat everything) alongside Beast Boy and Gizmo chasing the virus through his nervous system. All the while, the _happiest music I've ever heard_ is bouncing along without a care in the world.

-Amoeba Beast Boy is cuter than your pet.

-Did Gizmo really just call him 'Cybooger'? That's awesome.

-Beast Boy heroically rescues Gizmo by... engulfing him in his body. When we see him next, he's covered in little green bits, and Beast Boy looks embarrassed out of his mind. "So... we're just gonna pretend this never happened. Deal?"

-Picture this transition: Gizmo screaming in fear of the white blood cells closing in, to a little girl screaming in fear because Cyborg is eating stuffed teddy bears.

-How's this for a resolution of the plot? Beast Boy can't defeat the virus, because he's just a single-cell organism. So he decides to multiply into more cells. That's it. He grows more cells and basically suffocates the thing. I... I don't know if that's stupid or smart.

-Wow, there are a good three or four scenes where Robin, Starfire, and Raven attempt to fight Cyborg and bring him to his senses. They fail spectacularly each time.

-The episode ends with Gizmo, still trapped in a puddle of Cyborg's snot, frantically trying to swim away from microscopic robots. Take that image however the heck you want.

**TL;DR: This was really weird.**

[]

Next up: "Haunted".

...

...

...

So there's something special about this one, right? I've gotten a lot of messages along the lines of "I can't wait till you do 'Haunted'!" and "Only a few episodes away from 'Haunted'!" So this is it, people. We're finally here. And I still have absolutely no idea what it's gonna be about.

I'm gonna post this, then watch the episode. Hopefully by the time you read this, I won't need to worry about spoilers in the reviews.

Later.


	32. Haunted

Season 3, Episode 5

**Just to Be Sure  
**

[]

Robin makes his way to the other side of the room. The walk affords him a couple of seconds during which his face is hidden from the others, and he takes the opportunity to shudder and breathe deeply.

Because even now, he realizes, he's still trying to hide any weakness from his friends. Even after they've watched him collapse.

There's a temptation to hold his hand back, to let the lights stay on a while longer. To let that moment of apprehension linger and grow, creating the familiar tug on his mind that had so recently manipulated his sight and hearing. There's something almost comforting in the fear- terrible, yes, but familiar. And seeing himself as the chosen one, the only hero who can stop Slade, is... exhilarating.

The thoughts are dangerous. But they are _his_.

Or... they were. Before they nearly destroyed him.

_Click_.

Because he has to, because he'll never be able to stop worrying unless he does, he scans every corner of the room. It's all thrown into deep shadow- the floor, the ceiling, the walls, the screen with the medical readings scrolling down, the sensors and cables lying on the examination table...

And his friends' eyes, staring back at him. Besides Beast Boy, who's still recuperating on the other side of the room, they're all watching him with wildly different thoughts written on their faces.

Nothing moves. Slade isn't here.

Cyborg's expression is neutral. Nothing is given away- he's simply looking at him, waiting to see what Robin will do. Possibly even ready to subdue him again, to keep him from hurting himself or anyone else if the hallucination returns. It's a far cry from the stunned, yet determined visage that confronted him back in the junkyard, back when he'd failed to stop Slade. When he'd lost for the last time. But... no, that wasn't quite right. He hadn't failed when 'Slade' had defeated him. He'd failed when he turned on his team. And Cyborg had been there, trying to reach him, trying to tell him what was happening- looking him in the eye when he broke down and threatened to attack them.

Looking at him now, Robin wonders how far he's fallen in his friend's eyes. One thing is certain: Cyborg is prepared to do whatever it takes to keep the Titans safe. Unconditional trust, if he'd ever had it, has been lost.

Then again, maybe he never really deserved it in the first place.

The tension is back- a nervous pressure, beginning to build in his head and chest. Robin ignores it, focusing on the quiet darkness in the room, letting his eyes dart back and forth from corners and edges. He comes back to the other Titans, though. It seems he can't escape their gaze.

Raven looks like she's thinking deeply about something. Deep violet light somehow glows behind her eyes, and Robin's breath catches when a memory pulls at his mind. She- she knows more than the others. Or she saw something... he can barely grasp the edges of the thought, but he's sure that there was something she learned, something she wasn't supposed to-

It hits him. When they were trapped by the Tower's lockdown procedures, when she'd sent her astral projection into his mind to try to help him- she'd seen the deterioration in his memories. She'd witnessed the frantic scattering of old and new scenes, interwoven with ghosts of Slade appearing in places he'd never truly been.

She even saw Gotham. She saw him, standing in that cave, taking the oath.

And she'd seen a circus tent, with a roaring crowd and spotlights fixed on two performers, flying and twirling through the air-

Robin snaps himself out of his thoughts, looking away from his friend's stare. She tried to save him. She helped to break through the madness, but at the price of his innermost memories. She might not understand completely, but in a way, he's... exposed. Vulnerable. Even more so, after the events of the day.

He can't stand thinking about it anymore, and he turns to Starfire.

...

Everything seems to fade away. It's as if he's falling, and no matter how much he struggles, he can't grasp anything that might save him. His thoughts, his worries, his fears all crumble, and all he can think about is how _sad_ she looks, the worry and hope in her gaze, and how it's all his fault. New memories rush to fill the void, and he's seeing the rain and the lightning again, and he's standing in the field next to her- he grabs her arm, yelling, demanding to know why she let Slade get away, and she looks at him with tears in her eyes-

_-you're hurting me-_

He'd never considered that it could happen. That his pursuit of Slade could overcome his loyalty to his team, that it could ever get in the way of his duty as a hero, that it could build and build until it exploded in a storm that put his friends in danger.

But when it had happened, when he had clear evidence that he was _letting_ it happen, he hadn't listened. Not even to Starfire.

Robin tries to breathe slowly, and a thousand apologies crash through his mind. He knows none of them will be good enough. She'll forgive him, of course- she'll assure him it wasn't completely his fault, and besides, he realized his mistakes and tried to fix the problem- but it won't be the same. Just as Cyborg's trust has shifted, and the way Raven sees him is different, so too has Starfire changed, in some small way.

He freezes. Is... something moving in the shadows? Something dangerous, something familiar, something he has to stop before anything else goes wrong-

Robin closes his eyes.

He can almost imagine it. The near-silent sound of footsteps approaching him, the darkly smiling voice that whispers in his ear, _"You will never be free-"_

...It's almost tempting. As if, on some level, he wants to fall back into the thoughts and ideas that plagued him. The familiar, restless ghosts that tormented his mind, convincing him that he can never rest, never stop until he _finds_ him, until he makes sure that the danger was gone.

And he realizes that he has to let it all go.

He isn't the only one who can stop Slade. He isn't a lone hero, consigned to a noble and perilous mission.

He's a Teen Titan.

Robin flips the lights back on, and for the first time all day, he smiles. Even before returning to his friends, he understands: they _know_ him, now more than ever. The aloof, mysterious leader has fallen, and in his place is someone who has made mistakes. Someone who's been hurt, and has himself hurt others.

And the rest of the Titans are still standing with him.

[]

[]

[]

...I don't want to be presumptuous.

I've always been afraid of seeming arrogant, or making assumptions, or any instance where I claim to know more than I actually do. So, usually, I shy away from grand, sweeping claims that I can't definitively back up with hard evidence.

That said-

*deep breath*

-'Haunted' is the best episode of Teen Titans so far.

I was intrigued for this one. See, at first, I thought it would literally be about ghosts. Or the idea of ghosts, anyway. Sort of like that one episode with the horror movie and Raven's powers going haywire? That's what I was expecting. But I started getting reviews and messages from people, specifically talking about how excited they were for me to see this episode. That's when I should have realized we had something special here, even by this show's standards.

Think about Robin's relationship with Slade. Seriously, take a minute to think about it. I know I'm not saying anything most fans don't already know- and geez, since I'm not even halfway through this show, there's probably a lot more character development I'm not even aware of- but I don't know if I've seen ANY hero-villain dynamic as interesting as this one.

Before this, Robin was pretty obsessed with Slade, even to the point where he ended up hurting the other Titans back in season 1. That was pretty dark already: Slade had such a hold on him that he was willing to lie, steal, and even attack his teammates as Red X.

The 'Apprentice' arc really ramped that up, in my opinion- now we were seeing direct parallels between Robin and Slade, catching a glimpse of how _good_ he was at breaking the law. And both of those plotlines made it very clear that Robin, even if he didn't want to admit it, got a certain thrill out of this. Arguably, he even liked the cloak-and-dagger nature of what he was doing. Here, though, we saw even more clearly how much Robin detests Slade.

But 'Haunted' took all the tension and drama of those stories, and brought it to a fever pitch. This isn't just a story about good guys fighting bad guys, or even good guys occasionally questioning morality and making mistakes. We get to watch as the events of previous seasons literally warp Robin's mind. Arguably, this is an entire episode without a villain: the hallucination is just that, technically. A hallucination. But the fact that it even exists makes this story much, much darker than previous ones, at least to me.

Because he really does want to keep holding on, despite the fact that he hates Slade. There's a point near the end of the episode where Robin admits how hard it is to let go of this obsession. That moment is huge, I think. It's almost like he can't believe that his actions will ever be enough- the image of Slade keeps taunting him, that he couldn't catch him, couldn't defeat him, couldn't face up to his mistakes as his apprentice, and even now, can't stop chasing this ghost.

And you know what's the worst? I seriously thought that Slade was real. There was a throwaway line about 'cloaking tech' or something, and I fell for it completely. I have a ton of notes here, like 'Wow, Robin's playing right into his hands!' and 'Slade's playing his mind games again!' that don't apply at all now.

And the revelation that he wasn't really there works on so many levels. One, it really changes our view of Robin, because now he has a deeper flaw than just making rash decisions sometimes. Two, it keeps Slade's real plans and/or survival in the dark. Three, it drives a wedge between Robin and the other Titans, who seem to be able to understand it long before he does. And probably some more that I haven't even thought of.

I'll be honest, guys. I watched this one twice. I _had_ to. It was that good.

[]

Other stuff: When I was watching this the second time, I noticed that the three locations Robin just happens to be monitoring at the beginning end up as the three places Slade tells him the bombs are planted. That should have been the first tip that something was off here.

-You know, Cinderblock is interesting. I'd been thinking of him less as a villain and more as a monster, like Godzilla or something- a creature that some other villain is always controlling or letting loose. But the Titans talk to him like he can listen to them and make decisions. Now I'm not so sure.

-The first 'fight' between Robin and Slade is fantastic. I don't think either of them land a single blow, but they're racing through the treetops and there's rain and lightning and Robin's getting more and more angry and Slade is as chill as ever. Really intense.

-There's one absolutely golden bit of comedy: Beast Boy's sneezing. I thought it might get old after a while, but just like Cyborg's food-rants in 'Crash', this really seemed to work. Apparently he changes into random animals when he sneezes. And he cannot stop sneezing.

-This lightning animation is incredible! It takes the entire scene, and highlights it in nothing but black and white, and the moment is already really tense because Robin's yelling at Starfire and not trusting his teammates.

-"But, Robin... there was no one there." _This was the moment, you guys. This is where I should have realized how hardcore the episode was going to be._

-The settings are really wonderfully animated, but I have one question. Slade talks about the weird junkyard (where they 'fight' the second time) as if it's a familiar location, but I didn't recognize it at all. Have we seen it before?

-(Right after Robin declares that he's stopped Slade before, and he'll do it again) "Robin. If you've _stopped_ me, then why am I still here?"

-This is the most heart-wrenching scene yet. Slade absolutely destroys him- there's even a shot where Robin is literally trying to crawl away, and Slade just keeps attacking him. And right after that, the other Titans find him hurting himself, and he's more beat-up and hurt than we've ever seen him, and he's going on and on about the generators and finding Slade, and the others can only watch as he starts losing his mind.

-"And I'll take down _anyone_ who gets in my way!" That's just straight-up supervillain talk, right there. What a horrifying scene.

-But even with that, there's one scene that's somehow worse. The Titans are discussing what they should do with Robin, who's restrained in the medical ward. We see Slade in the room, but immediately switch back to the others' perspectives, where they see that Robin's heartbeat and adrenaline levels are going insane. Someone mentions that he can't survive this kind of stress. And in my opinion, none of the danger or violence in this show has been as terrifying as this moment: we zoom in on the computer monitor, and Robin's heartbeat _flatlines_. (Turns out to be because he got rid of the sensors, but still.)

-The entire sequence with Raven talking to Robin through the air is amazing. The music, the animation, the memories- it all builds and builds, leading up to the climactic moment where she sees Slade through Robin's eyes, realizing that he's absolutely real in his mind.

-I know I put it in the story and everything, but _the circus, you guys!_ Seriously, they showed the circus! I don't even know all that much about DC, but THAT I absolutely know!

-The last fight is the hardest to watch. Even though we know it's not real, it's just as one-sided and painful. And the episode has made it clear that Robin can't hurt Slade... but he can die.

-You know what? I'm not even really that surprised. Of course there's a hint that Slade might be back for real. Not too explicit, not making it obvious that it's really him- just that 'someone' triggered the hallucinogenic dust in the mask.

-I know the three-hours ultimatum was simply Robin's mind stressing itself out even more, but I'm curious- what if he'd run out of time? Would he see the city being destroyed, in his hallucinations?

[]

This one was tough to write about. There was a ton of emotional drama, but the episode covered it completely, so it's not like I had any profound insight. There weren't any big off-screen moments to explore, because all the important stuff happened right here in the episode. That's how I felt, anyway- and that's why the story for this one is basically just a retread of the last scene, with my interpretation of Robin's thoughts.

Next: 'Spellbound'. Let's see, what do we know about magic in this show... are Raven's powers considered 'magic'? Maybe it's about her.

Heck, maybe I'll get lucky and end up with another Mumbo Jumbo episode.


	33. Spellbound

Season 3, Episode 6

**Set Me Free  
**

[]

Exhausting. More than anything else, the battle was _tiring_.

Long after I'd forgotten the thrill of the fight- the glow of the fire, the shining magic, the glory of combat and the pain of defeat- I still felt the debilitating weakness. Normally, I would simply rest and recover the energy expended in such a bout, but the final blow made that impossible. Text on a page cannot find a way to regain its strength, it seems.

It was strange, to be tethered to something as fragile as paper. My magic was still powerful, but I had no way of expending it. I quickly realized that I could not restore my form without the help of another magician. In short, I could do nothing to save myself.

I could, however, move through the space around me.

With time, and great patience, I learned the spell needed to traverse dimensions. I would only have the power to use it once, but that was enough- I knew that if I waited long enough in this new world, I would find someone who could help me. The spell succeeded. I broke from the chains of the world I'd known. A book carried itself through the reaches of space.

Earth itself proved an unusual haven. It seemed that great and powerful religions were moving swiftly through certain continents, while other groups kept to their own affairs. I found myself in the possession of mages and kings, zealots and monks, but none could understand my words.

Years began to pass like days. The endless monotony of day and night became nothing, an afterthought to the bizarre nature of my existence and my frustrated attempts to procure an acolyte from the people of this planet. Countries went to war, went to sea, went to conquer, and the entire world seemed to change rapidly, but once again, not a soul was able to help me.

Until I felt it. Magic, of a sort I hadn't encountered in nearly a thousand years. On the coast of a land called America, in the proximity of a sorceress whose power was similar to mine. A young woman who felt that no one truly understood her, and wished only to be appreciated for her gifts.

I would be remiss to pass up this opportunity.

I moved with caution. If the girl reacted violently against my presence, all would be lost- so I hid myself in her home and bided my time. Only the most subtle, the most untraceable spells were used at first, such as simple enchantments that kept the enchantress from questioning the book's origin. Soon, her memories were unclear enough that she didn't suspect anything. After all, hadn't she always had the book? Yes, that must be it. She'd had it all her life. No reason to be suspicious.

And when her curiosity grew, when she finally sat down and started reading the tale of a wizard and a dragon, I knew I had won. She would find someone who understood her. Someone who knew what it was like to be a dark outcast in a world afraid.

And I would find my salvation.

[]

[]

[]

**Déjà Vu  
**

[]

"Why don't you go play that stupid game Cyborg came up with." Raven slammed the door.

A stunned silence followed, cut off by Beast Boy's indignant voice. "Well... maybe I will!" he squeaked. "And it's gonna be awesome. But you know what? He didn't make it up by himself! It's _my_ stupid game, too!"

She listened to the padded sound of footsteps echoing down the hallway for a second, then let her head fall against the door. It was just... frustrating. Since the incident with the book, he'd been more understanding- or at least, he'd tried to- but that came with its own set of problems. For example, he seemed to think that after one semi-tolerant moment when they weren't at each other's throats, they were destined to be the best of friends who spent as much time together as possible.

Raven turned, facing the expanse of her room. He'd been intruding here more often, as well. Knocking loudly at all hours, trying to sneak in and talk to her when she simply wanted a moment away from the team- ugh. It was truly wearing on her.

But... maybe she hadn't explained herself well. Today's argument in particular had started small, and to be honest, had stayed relatively small. She had to wonder if simply explaining her annoyance would help him understand.

Probably not. He was famously stubborn.

With a sigh, Raven opened the door again. She wasn't going to apologize, she told herself. This wouldn't be a big emotional moment. She was simply going to see if Beast Boy and Cyborg were still playing that game, and if they were, perhaps she would try to clarify a few things.

Drifting through the hallways, she noticed an odd feeling. Was- was she _nervous?_ That didn't make any sense. Probably just frustrated. Yes, that was it- tired of her friend's energetic and often obnoxious actions. Nothing to worry about.

"But that's not MY fault, you know?" She jumped, startled by the voice that had come from Cyborg's room. The closed door was only a couple of yards away, and she took a few steps closer while the conversation continued. "I've never, like, tried to exclude her from anything."

"Maybe not." Definitely Cyborg's voice. He sounded much more calm than Beast Boy. "Still, you gotta understand that she's not exactly like you. Heck, none of us are _exactly_ the same. An' when you keep arguin' with her, you probably end up makin' her feel like you don't get her at all."

"I totally 'get her'!" His words squeaked again, rising higher in pitch with the loud declaration.

"Oh yeah?" Cyborg gave a quiet chuckle. "Then d'you know why she's mad at you?"

The ensuing silence made Raven smile, but just as quickly, she wondered if she should be listening to the conversation. It was eavesdropping, plain and simple- but they were clearly talking about her. As much as she hated to admit it, she really didn't want to leave. Still...

"Look, man." The decision was made for her as Cyborg began speaking again. "Jus' lay off for a while. Give her some space, you know? Don't think you gotta fix everything jus' cause she gave you the cold shoulder."

Excellent advice. Raven nodded, hoping that Beast Boy would get the message. Maybe she wouldn't even have to talk to him at all.

"No way, dude!"

...Right. She rolled her eyes, preparing to leave, but the urgency and excitement of the words made her pause.

"I know I annoy her sometimes, okay? But that's- that's why I gotta do something. Get her to... I dunno, break out of her shell or whatever." He was rambling now, and sounded less sure of himself. "And... yeah, maybe she thinks no one understands her-"

"I don't know if it's that simple, B. You don't know for sure how she's thinkin'."

He kept going, almost like he didn't hear Cyborg at all, and he seemed to be getting upset. "But she's wrong about that! And it's not just because we're a team and friends and stuff. You heard her talking about that wizard guy, right? How great he was, and how he made her laugh and told her she was special and different from us-"

He stopped abruptly, and Raven wasn't sure, but she thought she could hear him sniff. "She met someone who was a lot like her," he continued. "And I think she really liked him. She felt like- it was like finally, someone just _got_ her and understood her, and more than ever before, she felt like she belonged."

Beast Boy paused, and Raven realized she was holding her breath. "And she trusted him," he said bitterly. "And then- and then, just like-"

His words ended in a choked sob, but he tried again. "Just like-"

The revelation hit her, and she nearly gasped. Of _course_. No wonder Beast Boy was so affected by what had happened to her. No wonder he'd been acting so differently.

No wonder he wanted to make things right.

Raven stepped back, still staring at the door as she moved away. From within, it sounded like Cyborg was trying to comfort his friend, and she suddenly felt a strong sense that she was intruding on a private moment she was never meant to hear.

He wasn't right. Not perfectly, and not about everything. But as she quickly walked back to her room, she wondered if maybe she'd been too quick to dismiss what had happened. The events with the spellbook had proved that it wasn't nearly as important that someone relate to her in every way as it was to simply be her friend.

But... perhaps they understood more than she thought.

[]

[]

[]

Scrapped ideas: -What the heck is up with **Cardiac**? He's a giant heart that tries to kidnap children through giant pipes but... why? What's his plan? Where'd he come from?(Scrapped as a story idea, because I couldn't think of anything and I didn't think the tone would fit with the episode.)

-**Stankball**. What are the rules? How would it work? (Again, I didn't think the tone would fit, because it seemed like it would end up a comedy story, and I didn't want that for this one.)

[]

I don't have anything particularly unique to say about this one, but that's on me, not the episode. I'm just running out of ways to describe "really, really good, you guys, seriously".

I suppose it's been a while since an episode has focused on Raven, huh? 'Fear Itself' was a whole season ago, and it's good to see her powers and personality on display again. This time, instead of focusing on her magic and abilities, it's the sense of isolation that she's feeling towards the rest of the team. It grows whenever she feels like the others don't understand her, or Beast Boy makes an insensitive comment about her being 'creepy', or she shuts herself away in her room. You really do get the sense that this problem is sort of everybody's fault, which is why it's so satisfying that they all come together at the end to not only defeat the enemy, but to prove how strong their bond is.

Honestly, it's something I've kind of had a hard time accepting. A lot of people probably have. Can you help someone- really help them- even if you don't come from the same background or situation they do? Even if you're nothing alike? This episode answers with a confident 'yes', and I have to agree. After all, no one really knows what it's like to be someone else. To bring it back to the Titans, we see this when the two concepts are completely separated- on one side is the fake Melchior, who shares the traits that Raven feels are isolating her, like a dark demeanor, magic abilities, and dangerously strong powers. On the other, you have the Titans, who don't quite understand all that, but are determined to stand beside their friend, no matter what.

Moment of personal zen aside, I really liked this one for its normal merits, too. Fantastic fight animation, especially in the opening fight between the wizard and the dragon (I would watch the crap out of a show about this Melchior dude, fighting monsters and raiding ancient magic ruins). Speaking of fighting, once the Titans show up to fight Cardiac, they throw in some interesting moves: Starfire uses her insane strength to throw Robin into the enemy, Beast Boy becomes a T-Rex and lets Cyborg ride him into battle... I actually wrote down 'Why have they never tried this before?' and then both attacks immediately failed.

But it's okay, because Raven is a beast. In general, too, but for this particular fight especially- with a few words, she tears Cardiac apart. Just... gets him. In a couple seconds. Bam.

In contrast, during the later fight against the same guy (Raven now wearing white, by the way, wow, I think I'm thrown off that she's wearing anything except the trademark dark blue cape), her powers are even stronger. In fact, she almost accidentally murders a little kid with 'dark magic' or something, and Beast Boy has to literally ram into her to get her to stop.

Actually, that's another unexplored side of things, come to think of it. Even though Raven didn't know how dangerous the magic is, it's kind of scary how quickly she dives in. And the power immediately messes with her, leading her to distrust her friends, try these crazy new spells, and nearly hurt that kid I mentioned earlier. I wonder how that would seem, from her perspective or someone else's?

Finally, I have to mention this last scene. In the middle of a heart-to-heart, Beast Boy says this: "Okay, fine. You're _way_ creepy. But that doesn't mean you have to stay locked in your room! You think you're alone, Raven. But you're not."

Raven takes a second to process that, then she hugs him. I think it's the first time ever.

...Then he immediately gets hit in the face with the stankball, but you get the point.

[]

**Funny Stuff**: The first line of dialogue after the cold opener and the theme song is... "Cardiac, you're under _arrest_." Robin, you magnificent dork.

-I'm sorry, this book thing is hilarious. Every time Raven's reading, and picturing the epic fight, it gets interrupted somehow. We end up replaying the same scene over and over- one time it gets paused, one time it just ends with the Tower alarm, and it even starts scraping up the old-school projector reel. And of course, every time, Raven is more and more furious.

-B and Cyborg try to make an offer to play Stankball, while the opening lyrics to the Teen Titans theme song go by on one side of the screen. Along with 'call now', 'good stuffs', and '10 easy payments!'

-Picture this: A mysterious voice speaks and Raven gasps in shock and drops the book right before the commercial break. After the break, immediately: "Ow."

-I've _never_ had this many nonsense terms thrown at me all at once. None of these are explained or even mentioned again in the slightest. "The Book of Nord! The Romanomicon! The Stones of Seer!" It's kind of impressive.

-Okay, here's the problem. Malchior needs another ingredient for the spell, quote: "A lock of hair from a beautiful girl." Raven's response is this: "...Beautiful?" You know, instead of "Holy crap, you just reached out and cut off some of my hair, you freaking psycho." This does not strike me as a healthy relationship.

-I know I drummed up a possible non-comedic backstory for this villain, but I still have a ton of questions. Where DID she get this book? Why would he turn into a story about himself, instead of a paper saying 'help I'm stuck in this book get me out'? Why would the wizard seal this dangerous monster inside _the very text that explains how to bring him back out?_

[]

Next up: 'Revolution'.** Sorry updates have been kinda slow, guys**. I can't promise they'll come any faster, either- school's winding down for the year, which of course means that classwork is piling up to the freaking moon.


	34. Revolution

Season 3, Episode 7

**If Robin Had Been There the Whole Time  
**

[]

"Hey. Hey, Beast Boy. How ya doin'?"

"Not good, man." He was crouching on the cobblestones at the edge of the river, holding his head in his hands and looking up at the bridge overhead. "Not so good."

"Yeah? 'Cause I thought ya might be feelin'..." Cyborg paused, deepening his voice. _"Very, very sleepy."_

In a flash, Beast Boy transformed into a howler monkey and screeched in fury. A black strip of magical energy materialized and covered his mouth, and Cyborg turned to see Robin glaring at them both. "No more hypnotizing jokes," the leader said with finality. "We need to figure out the next step of our plan."

"I WILL END YOU, CY!"

Beast Boy had clearly slipped out of the muzzle. "Yeah," said Raven, holding both hands up in concentration while she used her powers to move the makeshift gag back into place. "No matter how funny they are. And true. And the perfect response to every time Beast Boy has ever pranked the rest of us."

A stream of insults and threats were muffled by the magic, kept quiet enough that the Titans couldn't quite tell what he was yelling. "All right, Raven. That's enough." Robin smiled slightly. "Although, I have to agree that this is pretty funny."

The gag was removed.

"-MAKE SURE NOT EVEN ROBIN CAN FIND THE REMAINS." Beast Boy paused, taking a second to revert to human form and blink a few times. "Anyway, what are we talking about?"

"It is simple, is it not?" Starfire hovered a few feet in the air, glancing around at the unusual scenery. "We must defeat the Mad Mod and restore our city to its former state."

Robin moved to the edge of the overhang, trying to stay close to the bridge's cover. "Right. And we need to either learn how to fight these guards, or move past them undetected."

"Sweet. We have our mission." The rest of the Titans turned to see Beast Boy standing on the edge of the river, frowning in thought. "And what'd you guys learn while I was... um... out of it?"

A slightly embarrassed silence greeted his question. His face fell. "..._Seriously?_"

"You don't get to talk, man." Cyborg pointed at him in accusation. "Your eyes were pinwheels for, like, a solid hour. You didn't do much better."

"Oh, come _on!_" He threw up his hands, disbelief on his face. "We don't know anything about what's going on? I had a bajillion questions, but I didn't ask 'em 'cause I thought you guys already figured it out!"

Raven rolled her eyes. "Like what?"

It was as if she'd opened a Beast-Boy-sized bottle of pressurized soda. "_Firstofall_," he exploded in a rush of words, "Where did Mod get that age-switching staff? What's it made of? What other tech does he have? Should I be worried about, like, a giant red button that can make people super fat or turn dudes into girls?"

Cyborg grinned. "That was almost impressively stupid, B."

"I AM. _NOT_. FINISHED." Fuming, Beast Boy gritted his teeth and continued. "Why the heck is Mod so old now? We're basically the same age since last time we saw him! And how'd he do all THIS crap, anyway?" He flailed his arms, vaguely gesturing to the world around him. "I mean, the sky is a giant Union Jack, and the entire friggin' city is- I don't even know, are these black-and-white photos? Grayscale or something?"

"Yes, I believe it's grayscale," Starfire chimed in helpfully.

Beast Boy had to physically restrain himself from screaming_ "How do you even know that?"_, instead looking back to the buildings around the bridge. "And more importantly, why is Mod doing this? If he loves England so much, why is he trying to mind-control a bunch of people in this one random city in California? Why not actually GO TO ENGLAND?"

The last question echoed for a bit, leaving only a quiet sense of confusion. "I... haven't really thought about it, honestly," Robin admitted, scratching his head.

"Yeah, me neither." Cyborg was looking at the ground with a nervous expression. "But I got this weird feelin' that, maybe... we're not really supposed to think about stuff like that?"

"Besides," Raven said dryly. "These questions aren't anything special. You're not being all that clever to point them out."

Beast Boy's eyes twitched. "Yes, I am!" he hissed. "I am being _all kinds_ of clever."

"Except, ya know, the kind that'd help you not get hypnotized."

His eyes bulged, and a high-pitched whine that was close to the word 'you' sounded out while he pointed at Cyborg with a trembling finger. Before he could do anything, though, a quake shook the entire city- the ground beneath their feet seemed to shift, and even the British symbol in the sky looked like it was shaking.

"What's going on?" Robin yelled. "Is this another one of Mad Mod's tricks?"

"Do you really expect any of us to know the answer to that, Rob?" Beast Boy demanded. "It's not like we WHOA, WAIT, LOOK UP THERE!"

Overlooking the city square some distance away, one of the giant television screens- recently used to hypnotize large groups of citizens- was crackling to life with static. The monitor suddenly cleared, and the Titans could see a pasty white face framed by long black hair. "Is it working? Is it on?" a petulant, grumpy voice asked. "At last! Ho ho HO! At last, people of this pathetic city, you will be assimilated into the glorious culture of France! You will..." The man trailed off, then leaned closer and squinted. "But what is this?"

"Little late to the party, man." Cyborg called. "There's more'n one of you wackos out there?"

"...How DARE you?" The man drew himself up gravely, looking down his nose with an incredulous glare. "You think you can withstand the power of a French mind such as my own? You shall see the error of your ways!" The image was instantly replaced with a waving French flag, which quickly devolved into blue and red lines moving in a spiraling motion, faster and faster, in an almost hypnotic-

"Uuuuhhhhhh..."

"There he goes," Robin sighed. Cyborg was kneeling on the cobblestones, unable to stand from laughing so hard, and Raven and Starfire were simply shaking their heads. "Can someone help Beast Boy, please?"

"I don't know," Raven said in a monotone. "I might like him better this way." For his part, Beast Boy had somehow procured a baguette, which he was balancing atop a plate of escargot, while still not blinking or closing his mouth.

"Enough!" Starfire flew upwards, approaching the screen. "These are not even relevant cultural designs of your country! They are simply a couple of outdated and useless stereotypes!"

Before he could argue, his visage was replaced with the furious face of Mad Mod. "OI! What's got this lot all in a tizzy?" He scanned the crowds below, then gasped. "D'you mean to tell me tha' someone's been makin' a claim on moi ci'y? Well, we can't 'ave tha'!"

"You have to be joking," Robin mumbled, slapping a hand to his forehead, but the villain had already switched the feed back to the mind-numbing spiral patterns. Beast Boy immediately dropped the food, pulling a soccer ball from behind his back and somehow drinking a cup of tea without moving any of the muscles in his face. "Wait, is he still..."

"No way." Cyborg approached his friend, waving his hand in front of the boy's face. "I think... he's been _double hypnotized_."

Before they could react, the screen changed yet again- a chiseled, stoic face was staring down at them. "For the glory of Russia," a deep voice intoned, "I claim this city as..."

The man paused. Narrowing his eyes, he gave a snort of disgust. "...This is not worth the time." With a final scowl, he vanished.

The Titans could only watch, slack-jawed, as the French and British invaders alternated turns on the monitor, trying desperately to broadcast the hypnotizing signal before the other would negate it with video of his own. "What are we supposed to do now?" Robin mused to himself. "If there are just going to be more, how can we stop them?"

A blur of motion drew his attention, and he turned to see Beast Boy in an entirely new outfit. He'd found a furry trapper's hat somewhere, and an oversized winter coat was draped over his shoulders. A bottle of maple syrup was in one hand, a hockey stick in the other, and he looked like he was... shivering?

A new hypnotizing screen was on the television, but as soon as he looked up, it faded to reveal a bright-faced, blonde young woman. "How's everything going down there, eh?" she said cheerfully. "So sorry, but I'm afraid I'm gonna haveta take over your city now, ya know?"

Robin blinked twice, then looked to the others. "...Canada?" he managed.

Cyborg shrugged, and Raven simply sighed. "Canada," she agreed.

"Huh." He turned back, and scratched his head again. "That... I don't know," he said slowly. "I mean, it could be worse."

"I got no problem with Canada," Cyborg offered. "Star?"

"This would be... a beneficial change? Even on the July Fourth holiday?"

Looking up at the sky- now a bright red and white, with the maple leaf of the Canadian flag in the center- Raven sighed. "Doesn't look like we have much of a choice," she said. "I guess we're all Canadian now."

Cyborg's eyes widened. "Uh-oh. Just thought of somethin'." Once he had the other Titans' attention, he looked back to Beast Boy. "...Who's gonna explain all this once he wakes up?"

[]

[]

[]

(Wow. I guess putting Robin into the story didn't affect the plot at all. Oops. Kind of a misleading title, in retrospect.)

First of all. To give you a proper experience of what this episode was like, I want you all to do something. Go to... well, to be safe, let's call it 'outube-Yay'. Look for a video called "Teen Titans Mad Mod Chase." Those words specifically, because there's another scene in Season 1 that's very similar.

Watch it.

Are you lost? I was lost. I have the notes I wrote after I watched it for the first time: "Montage, alternate universe, revisionist history, Monty Python animation, giant foot appears and squashes the Titans? I'm confused. Are they hypnotized? Are they dreaming? Am I dreaming?"

Everything about this scene is completely insane. I love it, and I want to make it clear that this absolutely encapsulates the episode as a whole. The entire thing is just as weird. I mean, think about the plot summary: Mad Mod is back, and he wants to brainwash the entire city into thinking they're English citizens and he's the king. As far as concepts for funny episodes go, that is brilliant.

I'll be honest, I've always kinda had a thing for holiday specials. Although in this case, I'm sure July 4th is more of a plot point than an actual holiday episode. Either way, this is a ton of fun. And the setting is fantastic! Everything about Mad Mod's version of the city is so bizarre and unsettling. The guards, the weird friggin' photographs in the background, the giant flag in the sky- it's all a blast.

In fact, that might be my only REAL question with this episode. How in the world is Mod so powerful? He somehow stole a city, created a new one over the top of it, and made a nearly-unstoppable army that consistently defeated the Titans quite a few times. That's impressive.

(Also- were those real guns? Were they being shot at with real guns? Sure seemed like it. Wow.)

Starfire gives a mini-speech about democracy and what it means to be American, and it's wonderful. She's not even from the planet, but she gets the concepts behind 'E pluribus unum' and all that jazz. I love it.

The last fight is really cool, but completely impossible to follow. Robots everywhere, cannons and lasers everywhere, everything's exploding- I don't know, man. It's a trip.

[]

**Funnies: **Beast Boy excitedly tells the group that America rebelled against King Norman in 1492 because they were sick of drinking tea. Raven dryly asks if he learned his history from a cereal box. Without even a _hint_ of sarcasm or irony, Beast Boy responds: "What's your point?"

-"The American Revolution was a hoax. The Declaration of Independence is a tissue of lies. There is no George Washington, and there never was! And from now on, they're not cookies- they're called biscuits. Say it with me. Biiiiii-scuiiiiiits."

-B can't stop being hypnotized. And there is an entire sequence where he has a frilly haircut, an absolutely horrendous British accent, and a compulsion to call everyone 'chaps'. It's wonderful.

-That was a two-second long vision of Beast Boy playing a rock concert. Just to make the joke that a British voice makes him sound like a star.

-Whatever the gerbil-army cargo-plane-full-of-shaving-cream plan was, I want to hear more about it.

-"Now I know how George Washington felt when Napoleon beat him at Pearl Harbor." I LOVE THIS SHOW.

-"Whoa. That was actually more depressing than what I was gonna say." Coming from Raven, that's saying something.

-This is a society where everyone just literally stands on the sides of the streets, and Mod rides a hot air balloon around all day.

-"Man, I bet even REAL British people don't like you!"

-I swear I am not joking here. Towards the end of the episode, for no reason at all, Mad Mod turns into a gray sphere with protruding arms and legs. I am stumped by this. It's not explained, it doesn't appear to do anything, and there doesn't seem to be any kind of transitional scene where you see it happen to him. It's just... there.

[]

Hey, what do me and Bon Jovi have in common? Simple: we're both_ halfway there lololololo_

But seriously, I'm halfway through the entire series, I think. And it only took thirteen months! Hooray! ...yeah, I'm pretty sure a sloth could watch this show faster than I have.

Next up: '**Wavelength**'.

See you dorks later.


	35. Wavelength

Season 3, Episode 8

**Behind the Lines  
**

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What a punk.

That was her first impression of him. 'Stone'. Really, did he have _anyone_ fooled? He honestly thought he could just show up, gain the trust of every H.I.V.E. student, and bring the whole operation down around Blood's pointy head? Please. What a blowhard.

...And yeah, she was pretty cocky, too. But she could back it up.

Stealth missions weren't really her thing, honestly. And a slow burn wasn't nearly as much fun as a flash of lightning. But Aqualad had asked her specifically, and she knew the operation was more important than her personal preference. So she'd waited, and trained, and monitored newer students, and steadily moved toward larger and larger positions in the Academy. She'd crossed every 't' and dotted every 'i' she needed to in order to prove to Blood that she was the real deal.

And Stone had just... waltzed right in.

She hadn't met him in person. But the whole school was buzzing with the news of this new recruit, and she'd smelt a rat right away. 'Takes one to know one' and all that. His attitude was off, and he hadn't bothered to fashion that strong of an alibi- nothing thoughtless or idiotic, but inexperienced. She'd considered trying to get a message to him, somehow. Letting him know how close he was to being found out.

Then something strange happened. His shtick worked.

Probably not in the way he'd expected, but it had worked. Instead of convincing the others that he was an ally to be trusted, he'd made them think of him as a rival to be challenged. A threat, but not an enemy. A half-lie would be much harder to unearth than complete falsehood, and it didn't take Stone long to figure that out. In fact, in a strange way, it almost strengthened the students' respect for him.

And even Blood himself had pinned an entire campaign on Stone's abilities, so clearly he'd been doing _something_ right. Day after day, the headmaster would stand before them, gloating in his power, glaring over the crowd of students with red eyes, and she would dutifully pretend she was being brainwashed, occasionally sneaking a glance to notice that Stone was attempting to fake it as well. She often wondered if he understood how lucky he'd been, or how close his infiltration plans had come to disaster. She hadn't been present during the climactic battle- the one that destroyed part of the Academy- but she couldn't have avoided news of the event if she'd tried. A double agent revealed, and a school betrayed. Blood had been furious. The sorceress- Jinx, wasn't it?- had been furious. Arguably, a complete success.

And yet the Teen Titans had shown up, in person, making absolutely sure that the H.I.V.E. would never forget their faces. Cyborg had played his cards, and collected the prize, but at a price: none of them could play the game ever again. Now that she thought about it, the Titans were indebted to Aqualad for having the foresight to keep another agent out of the spotlight.

Patience was key. Cyborg had been the hammer the Titans had dropped on the Academy, but she was the ace in the hole, ready for anything. Hidden in the background, she would be prepared when the time came.

So when the building itself was destroyed, and a new headmaster was instituted, she'd specifically requested to travel with Brother Blood and the H.I.V.E. soldiers to the new facility. In fact, Aqualad's orders arrived while she was already halfway to her destination: _Keep an eye on Blood. Find out what they're planning. Be careful. _

As if she hadn't been monitoring the entire situation already.

It hadn't taken long to get the information. She'd felt no small measure of pride, knowing she'd accomplished a mission that Stone's heavy-handed antics couldn't have finished in a hundred years. Soon, Aqualad knew about the machine, and what it was capable of. The Titans followed soon after.

And just like that, they were face-to-face. The Dropout. The Traitor.

She decided to indulge a long-standing idea. After all, he'd held his own against the top students- Blood had called him one of the best, and not even Mammoth had been able to overpower him. How would she fare?

The camera was running, of course. She could claim that she _had_ to fight him... but she had to admit, it was satisfying to send him flying.

He was still a punk, after all.

[]

[]

[]

Scrapped idea: -Where was Brother Blood between the Academy's destruction and the formation of this underwater base? **How did he accomplish this?** (Scrapped because I couldn't think of a good idea. That's pretty much it.)

[]

Weak short story is weak and short. I won't argue that. But I'm gonna move forward anyway, because if I try to make every one of these a perfectly-crafted piece of writing, I'll update even more slowly. However, I really do apologize if you were hoping for a more creative take on Brother Blood, Aqualad, Cyborg, Bumblebee, or any other element of this episode.

So, what's 'Wavelength' all about? Well... it's complicated.

The tone of this one's kinda tricky. It's hilarious, but I'm fairly sure it's still trying to be a serious episode, as opposed to filler. A brand new character (Bumblebee) is introduced, we get a ton of new ideas with Cyborg's motivation and attitude towards the rest of the team, and Brother Blood makes an excellent comeback. But there are some moments that aren't simply funny- they're _goofy_, almost to the point of making the rest of the episode kind of disconnected. More on that in a minute.

Even though this is Cyborg's episode, and partially Bumblebee's as well, Brother Blood really gets some interesting moments. For example, when exactly did H.I.V.E. upgrade from just a school to something that can afford a standing army? Did he somehow get those soldiers to where he wanted them, and get them all the equipment and training and everything? That's impressively ambitious. Also, has he had red-psychic-mind-lightning powers this whole time? I don't remember any telepathic electrocution in the season opener.

Speaking of that other episode, I'm noticing that Brother Blood has legitimate reason to absolutely despise Cyborg. I wonder if they'll meet again?

As for Cyborg and Bumblebee, I'm kind of torn. On the one hand, I think she's pretty cool, and I'm definitely a fan of the sarcastic, arrogant attitude she has. But for some reason, when they were bickering and bantering and whatever, I really wasn't feeling it. It kind of seemed like they were arguing just because the writing said they should be arguing? It's possible that she's supposed to be a foil to Cyborg because they're so _similar_, but I don't know. Their whole bit wasn't that interesting to me.

And I have one specific problem with both of them. Bumblebee says she could resist Brother Blood's hypnosis because, 'There isn't a man alive who can tell ME what to do!' which seemed, at least to me, a really weak reasoning. And Cyborg refuses to let Bumblebee help him, even after she's proved which side she's on multiple times. I get that he's suspicious, but he's turning her down repeatedly just because she beat him up a little in their fight. We know they're gonna work together by the end of the episode, so why bother dragging it out because of a dumb reason?

(Also, this line made me pause: "And (I read) a few memory files about the big crush you had on Jinx." Is that the most explicit this show has ever been about a relationship? Or any kind of romantic intent at all?)

Finally, the episode's ending is worth talking about. I was very impressed with the last six or seven minutes especially, what you might call the 'endgame'. There's a point where Beast Boy and Aqualad are stuck in a collapsing chamber, Cyborg is fistfighting Blood (who, of course, knows his mechanical weaknesses from studying the blueprints) while trying not to go crazy from the sonic explosions, the other three Titans are trying not to drown/suffocate in a pocket of air that's slowly disappearing in the wreckage of the building, AND there's a tidal wave racing towards Jump City. That's kind of intense. I honestly had no idea how they were going to win this one.

Of course, it all works out, but it's still a wild ride. Cyborg's fight with Blood in particular is a lot of fun.

And speaking of the ending, just after the Titans get a new alert and Robin tells Cyborg that it's time to go, he looks out the window and says quietly, "...Yeah. It just might be." I don't like where that might be going, man. That's kind of unsettling.

[]

**Funny** **stuff**: The main plot opens with Aqualad delivering this line: "Your trash is in my ocean." Turns out he's talking about a leftover villain, but holy cow, does that not sound like a _completely different problem?_ I honestly thought this would be an environmental episode for a second.

(After Aqualad sadly says, "With no fish to help me...") Beast Boy: "_You got schooled_." No one reacts. No one groans, or laughs, or anything. Aqualad says 'Pretty much' and they all move on with their lives. I love this show.

Cyborg gets some hilariously off-beat animations in this one. Really over-the-top. In fact, I'm not sure it fits the serious tone of the episode. For example, there's a bit where all the blue parts of his machinery turn red and black, and then lightning explodes from his hands. Like a wizard.

"Release the mind-controlled squid." I'm just... I don't know. What do you do with that?

Beast Boy gets a whole bunch of clever and creative undersea morphs in this episode. Really. But the _moment_ I wrote that note down, he became a giant whale and ate the other Titans. Sigh.

"Hey there, B. Haven't seen you since-" "SINCE YOU BETRAYED HEADMASTER AND RUINED OUR SCHOOL?!" "...I was gonna say the Sadie Hawkins dance. But yeah, that too."

Her weapons are just two letter B's that shoot lightning. I am okay with this.

They're playing the dramatic fight music, but it's zoomed out, so we're just seeing Cyborg dance around and yell in mild annoyance once in a while. Because, for all intents and purposes, he's just getting stung by a bee over and over.

I was getting really annoyed with Bee for trying to make Cyborg jealous of Robin, but then he punched the wall and made a divider come down right between them. The timing was pretty great.

There is a scene where Beast Boy stares at his own butt. "Oh, my booty! I promise I'll never sit on you again." He then kisses it. I am not giving you a freaking shred of context.

The tidal wave is pretty scary, honestly. And then... "Surf's up!" That quote makes things a lot less intimidating, huh?

Robin hacks into the computer, and it literally says "Smash" and "Cancel" as options. Huh.

Instead of disagreeing or bickering any more, Cyborg and Bumblebee (at the end of the fight) come up with the exact same plan, but insist on being the one to explain it. They're shouting over each other, but it's okay because they're actually yelling the same thing.

OKAY, I'M NOT REALLY DOWN WITH THE STRATEGY OF 'HIT THE WAVE WITH ANOTHER WAVE' TO SAVE EVERYTHING, BUT WHATEVER.

"I'd really rather just stay here and drown." I mean, the alternative is Raven hides in Beast Boy's gross whale mouth. Tough choice.

At the end Aqualad says goodbye with this: "If I run into any trouble, I know who to call." _Eyyyyy_.

[]

Next up: '**The Beast Within**'. Disclaimer: I actually have seen this one already. For some reason, this is the one random episode I watched at some point in my life, so I remember most of the main plot.

For the most part, though, this is gonna be standard procedure. I'll watch the whole thing to have it fresh in my memory, then do a normal update and stuff.


	36. The Beast Within

_Warning: Stories contain the author's attempts to explore the persona of a character he certainly doesn't understand. Gross errors incoming.  
_

_Seriously, this is gonna be rough. _

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[]

Season 3, Episode 9

**Side A  
**

[]

A shivering man sat at a table, hands folded on the surface before him. The prison's visiting area was quiet and spacious, so any slight sound echoed off the white walls. His fingers twitched, and he busied himself by looking down at the table itself, trying to calm his breathing. Occasionally, he glanced at the empty chair on the other side.

The door opened.

A figure strolled into the room, casually taking his time before lightly hopping over the back of the chair and landing in a seated position. In the same movement, he leaned forward and rested his chin in his hands. "Hey," he said with the barest hint of a smirk.

The man's eyes went wide. "No," he rasped. "Not you." Shaking his head wildly, he stood up and winced in pain when his knee clanged against the underside of the table. "I'm not- _Ow_. I'm not talking to you."

"Oh, what a shame." Voice dripping with sarcasm, he chuckled. "And here I thought we were gonna catch up and be friends."

"Look, just- just leave me alone." The man backed up a few steps, not daring to look away. "They won't let you hurt me. They'll... I can make them throw you out!" He sounded like he was trying to convince himself.

"Hurt you? No. Like I said, I just want to catch up." Bright eyes glinted, meeting the prisoner's frantic gaze. "Let's talk."

He pressed his hands to the sides of his head, shaking even more. "Shut up."

A short laugh made him scowl. "Not gonna happen. I'm told I talk way too much." The figure grinned. "So... Don. Can I call you Don? Seems to fit better now, anyway."

The man was silent. Rolling his eyes, his questioner exhaled loudly. "Calm down, dude. I just wanna ask you a few things." Pausing for a moment, he glanced back up. "...Have you been to a hospital?"

"What?"

"Duh. The chemicals." The smile was gone now, and the figure on the other side of the table seemed much more serious. "Did you find a way to get rid of that stuff, or is it still floating around and causing trouble?"

He glared. "I haven't had time, thanks to you and your friends," he spat.

A shrug. "Fair enough. Bit of advice, though- don't wait. Heck, just tell someone you're feeling sick or whatever. Eventually, they'll run a few tests, find the bits that shouldn't be there, and it'll all be back to normal."

"..._Normal_." Visibly angry, he strode forward, planting his hands down on the table. "Maybe I don't want 'normal' anymore," he said with venom. "Maybe I'll stick with what I have."

A calm face stared back at him. "Why?"

A beat passed. Blinking, the man tried to regain his momentum, growling and slamming his fist down. "To be stronger!" he yelled. "Because that- that _thing_ had more power than I've ever imagined. And if you were _stupid_ enough to give that up, then-"

Suddenly, his breath caught. "You... you don't have it anymore," he said slowly, making the connection. "I can take that power, whenever I want, and be a hundred times stronger than you'll ever be! I don't need to be afraid of you."

His voice dropped to a whisper. "_You_ should be afraid of _me_."

For a moment, the words echoed in the empty space. A fluorescent light flickered and dimmed before returning to full brightness. The man suddenly felt like the room was quieter than it should be.

Without warning, another laugh rang out.

"Not even close, Don."

He was looking down again, eyes partially hidden. "You know what's the really sad part?" he said quietly, almost like he was talking to himself. "I let you get in my head, man. You have no idea how mad I was, back at that first fight. All this garbage you're spouting... it got to me. I was so obsessed with being better than you, stronger than you, that I never realized that I was practically _becoming_ you."

"That's why we both ended up howling at the moon, dude. At that moment, we were exactly the same." A brief look of guilt, even shame, passed over his face. "And that's how we ended up here, too."

"But guess what? I have something you don't. I have friends who are willing to stick with me, even when I mess up. Even when I do something that hurts them. And they helped me realize that I don't need to prove anything- not to you, and definitely not to me. Strength doesn't have anything to do with muscles, man."

He hadn't spoken loudly, but the weight of the words seemed to demand silence. For a second, the man was flustered, completely unsure of how to respond. Then he cleared his throat. "Sure," he sneered. "Well, I'm glad you had your little moment of zen, but-"

"They also told me I should let this go." There was an edge to his voice now, and the statement cut through his own attempt at bravado, falling into place with finality. He sounded more confident, as if he had never had any doubt who was in control here. "They said I need to... move on."

The bright eyes flickered up at him. "But I don't always listen to my friends."

Hands splayed on the table, the figure slowly rose. "There's one other way we're different, you know. One thing that really sets you apart. And I can't stop thinking about it. An idea I can't get rid of, you know what I'm saying?"

Visibly nervous, the prisoner tried to speak again. "I- I don't-"

"You attacked Raven."

He was moving around the table now. Without thinking, the man took a step backwards. "Can you remember what I looked like?" The soft voice asked. "Can you see it, in your mind- the monster, standing there, ready to fight you? Here, I'll help you out. He's big. Towering. Covered by shadows, so you can't even see all of him. His legs are strong enough to jump over buildings. His arms can crush bones. The teeth can shred through skin like paper. The howl sounds like a dying scream."

Closer now, he kept walking, forcing the man to back up even further. "His eyes are blank. Know why? Because he's not thinking. He's not feeling, and he's not even really _seeing_ you. He's locked in, and all he cares about is instinct. Fight. Protect. Destroy. Win. And the claws... they're like knives, man. They catch the light, so even if you can't see him, you can still see those claws, razor-sharp, and you know- more sure than you've ever been in your life- you _know_ those claws are coming for _you_."

Before he knew it, he was pressed against the white wall, and the threats were coming from a visage only inches away from him. "And I _can_ let it out. You know I can. And you would just be... you."

He moved.

It was instantaneous. A flicker, barely even a suggestion of motion. A feint. A wider eye, a tightened jaw, a fist uncurling into claws... or had the man just imagined it? But he was cowed, flinching, rearing back so quickly that he lost his balance and collapsed unceremoniously to the ground, where he desperately tried to scramble away along the base of the wall. His frame was trembling, and his jaw seemed locked in place, as though the fear was so great he couldn't bring himself to cry out.

From above, his tormentor looked... surprised. And then something darker flashed in his expression, as though this was something he hadn't considered, something harsher than he had intended. That moment of hesitation passed, and he leaned down to grab the prisoner's shirt collar. "One last thing," he growled, but there was a wavering in his voice. "I heard what you said. I saw how you acted, even before you tried to hurt her. And if you so much as look at Raven again..."

He held him there for a second, then stood abruptly. Once again, a kind of fear was present in his face, and he was clearly trying to cover it with anger. "Well, I've heard hospital beds are more comfortable than prison cots." He blinked, as if he'd forgotten something. "And that's only if she doesn't get to you first."

"Yeah." He couldn't sink any lower, but he pressed his head against the wall and didn't move. "Yeah, yeah, I got it. Just- God, just leave me alone. Please, don't-"

A noise stopped him. He looked up to see the figure shaking, visibly trembling, and watched him throw one of the chairs across the room before stalking towards the exit. One of the guards tried to intercept him at the doorway, probably in response to the violent confrontation in the visiting area, but he just brushed past.

A brief argument in the hall outside the room faded into quiet. The door closed, and the man was left to his own thoughts. He blinked, slowly getting to his feet, and tried to focus on anything but the memories echoing in his mind.

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**Side B  
**

[]

Things were different, after.

They shouldn't have been. Beast Boy knew that the team had seen stranger things than this. And while the thoughts of '_what if they all hate me_' had briefly crossed his mind, he hadn't dwelt on it too much. They were way too good of friends for that. Too good of people, really.

Still, things were different. Maybe it was only in his head, but little things seemed to pop up- edges and tones in their voices, or glances at and away from him. And of course, even though he knew they weren't valid, the worried thoughts followed quickly: that they wouldn't trust him fully anymore. That they couldn't look his way without, at least for a moment, seeing something else. That he'd never be able to talk to anyone, even Cyborg, and just feel normal again.

Cyborg had been the worst, in fact. Only a day had passed, and Beast Boy had snuck up on his friend in the Tower's main room, intending to jump onto his shoulders while he watched TV. But he'd been too loud, and Cyborg turned to greet him with a grin, and there on his chest were the gash marks.

He hadn't forgotten about his actions before the transformation. But to have the gouges in the metal staring back at him, jagged and deep scratches in a perfect row... it was enough to stun him into silence for a few seconds.

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Forgot about this. I was gonna get it buffed out- I'll probably do it tomorrow."

That was it. Simple. Dismissive, like it didn't even bother him. But Beast Boy couldn't stop thinking about it, even though his friend didn't seem to be acting any differently _(yes he is, he's freaking out, his voice is different and he's glaring at me and I can't fix what I did)_, because it was so troubling. What had he even been mad about? A video game? Yeah, that was it- an argument in front of the screen, a couple of angry yells, and suddenly claws had torn with enough force to... do _that_.

The anger didn't come out of nowhere, though. It had actually felt familiar.

That was- that was wrong. Something about all this was just wrong. All the recent events, really. He pored over them in his memory, trying to form a coherent picture: he'd fought Adonis, encountered the chemicals, had his personality change wildly and hurt his friends, and then the Beast had had his day.

What was missing?

Talking with Raven helped. Really, it did. But she spoke about the Beast like she knew him, like she understood him. As if this creature- this side of himself he'd never seen before- was as real and prominent as the Beast Boy they all knew and loved. How could that be? How could this monster _make sense_ to her? How could she know?

He passed Robin in the hallway, and a scowl warped over his face.

What was going on?

He flew beside Starfire in battle, and couldn't bring himself to say a word to her.

Thinking, thinking, wondering-

He laughed at one of Cyborg's jokes, stopping when fear struck him like a physical blow, unable to explain why he was on the verge of tears.

It was tearing at his mind. He tried to forget it all, or at least not think about it, but the stress and the anger kept coming back, over and over, and it never made any sense. Then, out of the blue, a passing remark from Raven lodged itself in his memory.

A standard mission. They weren't even at the site yet- Robin had sent the three flying members ahead to scout the area, and Beast Boy had made a comment about 'birds of a feather' or something. Just a joke. He could barely even remember it.

Raven had shot it down quickly, deriding both the joke and Beast Boy as stupid.

Again, routine. Nothing but banter- Cyborg dished out worse insults in his sleep. But something had risen up in Beast Boy, urging him to be angry, more angry than the situation deserved. To demand she apologize. Prideful, resentful, and furious.

Suddenly, it clicked into place, and he nearly fell from the sky when he realized it.

The chemicals didn't create a different side of him, one that changed his attitude and took control. It was worse. They brought something out that was already there. A demand for respect, a desire to put himself first, and an anger that wasn't anyone else's- it was his own, and it was real, buried under blind assurances. _Of course_ he cared more for his friends than for himself. He'd _never_ hold a grudge. No _way_ he'd take teasing personally.

Ideas and traits he fashioned idly in his own mind, never looking any more closely. Never wondering if the more worrying pieces of his identity were as solid and important as the bright, happy, fun-loving side. Maybe he pushed them down. Forgot them, even.

Maybe everyone did.

Sometimes.

Raven put him down, going too far. Robin dismissed him. Cyborg made fun of him, taking jabs at everything about him.

..._Sometimes_.

Beast Boy knew it wasn't so simple- a misunderstood kid finally getting mad at bullies. They were nothing like that, honestly. But the worry, now pulling at him with a darker insistence than before, was that his actions with the harmful chemicals were a distortion of the way he really did feel. Even Starfire- well, she'd probably never truly mistreated him, but he could remember times when he'd clearly and distinctly thought, "_Who cares what she's worried about? My problems are way more important_."

Pride, anger, and jealousy.

Was he a bad person? A bad friend?

...

Questions with no resolution.

...

In some ways, nothing really changed. The Titans trained, went on missions, and explored the city. They talked and laughed and squabbled, and life went on. And sometimes, Beast Boy told himself that things weren't different at all.

Sometimes.

[]

[]

[]

Scrapped idea: What was Robin thinking this whole time? More importantly, **why did he hesitate** for that brief moment? There's a scene where Beast Boy is being interrogated in that chair, and he's clearly about to transform into the Beast- but Robin keeps Starfire and Cyborg from rushing to help. It's almost as if he wanted it to happen; but why would that be? (Scrapped because, let's face it, this update was taking long enough without throwing in a third story. And I didn't really come up with an answer.)

[]

...Good God. That episode.

I want to make it clear: these are just my ideas about Beast Boy. I could be completely wrong. I'm trying to analyze and understand a character when I haven't watched the entire show, but even if I had, it's still very possible that this would just be some random fan's interpretation. So if you're reading the stories and getting annoyed that I have this all wrong, you're probably right. But I'd also caution you not to take it too seriously, since again, I'm one random fan.

Or heck, for all I know, some of these ideas might be right, but obvious to everyone.

That said, what do you guys think about this episode? What does the inclusion of the Beast tell us about our favorite green dork? Does this change things with the rest of the Titans? I'm curious to hear what you more experienced fans have to say.

For me, though, 'The Beast Within' is my favorite episode so far.

Don't get me wrong- 'Haunted' and some others are probably better, objectively. And I already admitted that I've seen this one before, even though I didn't really get any of the context, so it might just be a nostalgia thing. But everything about this seems absolutely perfect.

Here's an example. In one scene, the Beast is in the center of Robin's targeting system. You hear Robin say "Sorry, Beast Boy", and missiles fly out- but just before impact, we cut to a wide shot of the entire city with an explosion in the distance, and wounded howling. Cut to Raven suddenly opening her eyes.

That's professional. The whole sequence is framed like an action movie, and it's amazing.

And of course, right after that, we get the mother of all twists- Raven, just after waking. "He didn't hurt me; he _saved_ me." The revelation that Adonis, not Beast Boy, was trying to hurt her is one of my favorite moments in the whole series. I really wish I could have seen it for the first time again.

The ending fight is just as powerful. When the Beast is fighting Adonis, there's a really intense moment where you just see the Beast's arm, slamming into the pavement over and over. It's the perfect way to show that he's losing, and losing badly- Adonis is basically beating him into the ground. But it's shown in a way that isn't too graphic and violent, making it perfect for a network that has to keep things kid-friendly.

But let's get to the elements of the episode. Saving the most obvious for last, I want to mention the settings. It seems like every single frame of the episode is dark. The opening fight with Adonis takes place in some bizarre animal-pound-like building, with tons of creatures screeching in cages lining the walls, and high-tech lab equipment everywhere. Including, of course, vats of dangerous chemicals at the far end. That's a freaking strange place to exist at all, let alone to be the site of a battle, and the entire area is draped in deep shadows. It's kind of awesome.

And the rest of the places are just as weird. The sewers, the city's rooftops at night- even the halls of the Tower are shrouded, like the entire story is taking place in a perpetual darkness. But it enhances each place, so the animation becomes even more unique. When the Tower is so dark, it makes every room feel empty and gigantic, and incredibly creepy when we know there's a monster on the loose. When the Beast is running over the city skyline, we get the silhouette in front of the moon, creating a crazy light-shadow effect. And when the sewers are lit by nothing but a flashlight, it amps up the tension and suspense until you're almost _hoping_ something will jump out.

Can't skip the villains, so I might as well mention Adonis. He's... pretty despicable, I guess. He's obviously really important to the episode, but as for the character himself, he strikes me as more of a plot point than an actual person. As in, he's mostly there just to get the chemical spill onto Beast Boy, and to introduce the theme of needing to prove how powerful he is. Being strong and talking about strength aren't really enough to build a solid villain out of- without Beast Boy, Adonis just wouldn't be very interesting.

Although he did do two things that made me very mad. First, he called Raven 'feisty' and did this weird purr-growl, and I immediately hated him. And to a lesser extent, he bent Robin's staff. Not cool. Probably not the strongest villain of the show (how's THAT for irony), but his part of the episode worked well. Not particularly fun, but not really intimidating, either. Just okay.

How about the Beast himself? I won't even talk about the animation of his design, because I'm sure everyone remembers it, and it's awesome. But before we even see him, when Beast Boy is transforming and rolling around trying to keep his head from splitting open in pain, he is making the most terrifying noises I've ever heard. It's like he's actually about to die, and those roars and growls only get more chilling when he's full monster-mode. Speaking of that, I sometimes forgot how big the Beast is; once in a while, though, another character would show up on screen, and I'd suddenly realize he's absolutely GIGANTIC. It takes starbolts, Cyborg's sonic cannons, and Robin's explosives together to bring him down. Even that doesn't always work: Robin, Starfire, and Cyborg vs. the Beast is actually a pretty even match. He's ridiculous.

One last thing about the Beast. There's a moment where he's facing down Cyborg, who has a cannon leveled his way. The Beast has a chance to attack, and very deliberately doesn't. Interesting, no? Especially since he was attacking the rest of the Titans earlier.

And, finally, Beast Boy. Holy character development, Batman, this episode covers _everything_. New changes in his powers, obviously, but also questions about his personality in general, and the way he interacts with the other Titans. From the very beginning, when he bear-punches Adonis so hard and so fast that he just _destroys_ him, I realized something was up- I don't think we've ever seen him this angry before, have we?

Or this scared, or this hurt, or this selfish. But more on that in a bit.

See, this is where I'm not so sure if I'm actually interpreting things correctly. The most fascinating part of the episode, to me, is the period between the chemical spill and the first transformation into the Beast- the part where he's acting different, and the other Titans know it. The whole point is that he isn't really himself, but some of the things he says still struck me as... odd.

"Who's the tough guy now?"

"I just got sick and tired of being pushed around."

"Now, be a good girl and get me another root beer."

"This is who I am now."

"Nobody pushes me around! NOBODY!"

The idea I took from this, at first, was that the chemical spill was simply altering his moods and even his thoughts, making him into someone he wasn't. But- as I was trying to put into words in the story, up there- what if it's more than that? What if the episode is really saying something more complex? I started to look at what Beast Boy does and says, and wondered if they could be drawn from a source that actually IS him, at the core.

A few things are clearly just warning signs, like his sudden desire to eat meat. That's pretty simple. But why would he suddenly be obsessing over weightlifting and physical strength? Well, it might be because the chemicals are messing with him; or, maybe, it's because Adonis really got in his head. In a similar way, it's possible that other traits are being twisted and distorted, rather than appearing out of nowhere. Something laid the foundation for what happens here.

With Starfire, Beast Boy is rude, lazy, and pretty much dismisses her completely. I'm not saying any of that is okay, because it isn't, and he's clearly remorseful by the end- _but we've seen glimpses of those three things before_. He can mouth off to people, even those he cares about. He's lazy sometimes, even though it's usually in a funny or endearing way. And he's not a completely selfless person, either, because no one really is.

So, and I might be stretching the idea too thin here, it got me thinking. If we use that with the rest of his actions, maybe we can learn more about his personality. There's a really tense confrontation with Robin where Beast Boy declares 'This is who I am now,' and does the I-didn't-flinch-you-flinched thing before taunting him with 'That's what I thought.' These ideas of self-worth and power, identity and masculinity- they keep popping up. And I don't think I can explain it all with that little chemical thing. Maybe he really is worried about being strong, and being _seen_ as strong.

He doesn't really interact with Cyborg all that much in this episode, beyond the part where he scratches him. I don't think it's showing us anything particularly new; we know he's competitive, and gets really into video games, and I think the angry slash at his best friend really is just because of the crap in his bloodstream. But he's been known to take things out of proportion. A new idea or plan, or even a game or movie, can become so important that it's the only thing he can concentrate on for a while.

But his attitude towards Raven is the strangest part of the story. He seems to get it in his head that he's always been this nice, kind guy, and she's only ever insulted and disrespected him. Obviously that's not entirely true (probably the poison messing with his head again), but it's interesting that, when angry at her, he brings up events that happened long before his personality change. Sarcastic put-downs that he clearly hasn't brushed aside and forgotten. Remember what he says after the fight with Adonis? "I just got sick and tired of being pushed around."

That was only a few seconds after the chemical spill. And right after an argument with Raven:

"Always makin' fun of me... even when I stand up for myself? Everybody's on HER side! _She's_ the jerk! Nobody pushes me around! NOBODY!"

Here's my theory. Beast Boy (the _real_ Beast Boy, not just the more angry version in this episode) is sick of people telling him what to do, ignoring him, or treating him like a doormat. Even his friends. Even if they aren't really doing that, _he thinks they are_.

Sometimes, anyway.

This show doesn't play around with character traits without reason. They made Robin into an awesome vigilante pseudo-villain, but they played it off traits we already knew he had (a hunger for action, a desire to be in control, and a willingness to deceive his friends). They made Terra into another kind-of-villain, also playing off her own character, with her fear of losing control of her powers and her penchant for revenge.

I think this might be similar.

Why else would we get so much arguing and dialogue from Beast Boy before he ever becomes the Beast? Maybe it's because the Beast isn't just an extension of his physical powers. Maybe it's also because it's a magnification of his deepest self- something that was already there. And that's... kind of dark.

It's also what makes the interrogation scene so profoundly unsettling. With real shock and terror in his voice, he whispers, "And you're telling me... I did that to her? That's impossible!" And after the others tell him that Raven was found in his teeth, his expression becomes unnatural- rage contorts his face, and his voice sounds more guttural and furious than ever before. "THAT'S A LIE!"

Why would he react so strongly to that? (I'm not discounting the possibility that he cares for her as more than just a friend, but let's see if we can find anything else.) After all, he threatened her with a gorilla morph, and even though he said it was just to intimidate her, it sure looked like he was ready to attack. He straight-up fought the other three Titans as the Beast, and they all know it at this point. Cyborg even points out that his genetic code, already unstable, is beginning to fall apart. With all this evidence, why would Beast Boy stubbornly insist that he would never hurt Raven?

...Because he's _right_.

The twist changes everything. The Beast isn't just a monster anymore- it's not even just one side of him. Just like the ending of the episode says, it's something primal. Every part of him, good and bad, hidden and clear, magnified to the extreme and brought to the surface. And Raven proves it, because he _doesn't hurt her_.

He has a lot of painfully scared lines during the interrogation, but the one that nearly made me cry was at the end of the episode. He asks Raven a simple question, referring to Adonis: "He's the one who hurt you, right?" It's one of the best voice-acted lines I've ever heard. The trembling, quiet _fear_ in the words is so powerful that you can instantly tell he's absolutely terrified of what the answer could be. What it almost was.

Raven's final lines- let's face it, it's practically the most famous speech in the whole show- are odd, but they get you thinking. A lot of shows would probably say something like, 'That bad thing happened, so you better try to avoid it and be a good person from now on.'

Instead, we get this. "If it wasn't for that Beast, I might not be here right now. Having that thing inside doesn't make you an animal. Knowing when to let it out makes you a man."

Not strong. Not a hero. A _man_.

...This show, guys.

[]

**Funny stuff**: Adonis has the voice of a 90's sports movie bully. Seriously, I half expect him to ask for their lunch money.

-"I think my appendix and my spleen switched places!" Beast Boy proves it with an X-ray and everything.

-"Bring it on!" "Dude, it is TOTALLY brunged! ...Branged!" ("Ooh, bad grammar. That oughta scare him.")

-I am so freaking happy that Beast Boy can morph into other dinosaurs besides a T-Rex.

-Cyborg demands of Adonis, "Show me what ya got!" He then gets absolutely wrecked in one hit.

-There's a bit where Adonis flexes his pecs. In a robo-suit of armor. That's impossible and funny.

-Beast Boy, trying to respond to a jab at his size: "Oh yeah? Well, my muscles may be small and ropy, but... they're not... I mean-" He just kind of trails off, realizing he has nowhere to go with that line, and the timing is hilarious. That's a new kind of joke for this show, I think. The punchline is that there isn't a punchline.

-Okay, apparently Robin takes cooking VERY seriously. His angry expression and ridiculously fast actions when he's making eggs are quite intense.

-When they're hunting the Beast, Robin drives his motorcycle up walls and Cyborg just decides to smash _through_ those walls. Nice.

-And of course, the famous line near the end, after Raven gives an emotional speech and Beast Boy tries to derail it with a joke. "We're having a moment here. Don't ruin it." Totally deadpan.

[]

Guys, I'm really sorry this took so long. Got a few reasons: One, like I've already whined about, is the projects and papers and finals like everyone's had to worry about these last couple weeks (Those are finally done, by the way). But also, like I said, this is one of my absolute favorite episodes- so the longer I waited, the more I felt like the update had to be extra-well-written, and I ended up psyching myself out and procrastinating more and more.

Putting pressure on yourself for no reason is dumb, and I don't recommend it.

But it's summer now, and the rest of the show awaits. Hopefully, I'll be updating more quickly. Next up: "Can I Keep Him?" Sounds like a less serious one, yeah? That's fine with me- as far as I'm concerned, this last episode was heavy enough to balance out a whole gosh-dang season of filler.

Have an unreasonably _fantastic_ day, everybody.


	37. Can I Keep Him?

Season 3, Episode 10

**If At First  
**

[]

The prison was dark and dusty.

"So we're agreed, then."

From the corner of one of the cells, Johnny Rancid smiled, baring his teeth. "Oh, yeah. It's time to take down the Teen Titans for good."

A flutter of shadows revealed Killer Moth in a different section of the block. "Indeed. At last, payback for all the times they've humiliated us."

"And I've got another one of the robo-dogs ready to bust us outta here." Johnny chuckled. "Can't wait to run those punks into the ground."

[]

...

"TITANS! GO!"

[]

...

The prison was still dark and dusty.

"You are the worst villain I've ever worked with, Rancid."

"Shut yer trap. They beat you, too."

"What is this, the fourth time? Fifth?"

"Some of those were YOUR fault! You had yer monster-alien thing EAT me!"

"I only wish he had taken the time to chew."

"Go fly into a bug zapper!"

[]

[]

[]

**Five and a Half Dorks  
**

[]

Robin

He steepled his hands, glaring over the tips of his fingers. "I'll get the truth from you," he finally said. "It's only a matter of time."

Receiving no response, he stood and began pacing. "You might think you've kept everything under wraps. The full extent of your powers, what exactly happened in the last two days..."

With a flourish, Robin stopped and pointed towards the target of his accusations. "But nothing stays a mystery forever. Let's see if your little games can stand up to a detective! So tell me-" He stepped forward, slamming a hand down on the table. "_What did you do?!_"

Perched in the middle of the table, Silkie burbled and squeaked without a care in the world.

"How did you trash this place?" Robin hissed. "You don't eat our food. Did you just... devour everything, then spit it back up? Is that why everything's so terrible?"

Silkie burped.

"No." He stood straighter, a hand on his chin. "No, it has to be more than that. It wasn't just bite marks and digestive juices, it was-" Scowling, he pointed down again. "You got garbage everywhere! And you somehow threw furniture around the room. None of it makes sense!"

When the creature said nothing, only tipping slightly to the side and emitting a small giggle, Robin seemed to reach a decision. "Maybe you- here, wait a second-" He picked up Silkie, despositing him near the television. "There. Go crazy."

Silkie looked around curiously, then nibbled on the edge of the screen for a moment, but quickly gave up. "Do something," Robin said desperately. "How do you _work?_ Did you roll around, and that somehow..." He trailed off. "Of course."

A confused squeal came from Silkie as Robin grabbed him, flipping him on his back and pushing him around slowly. "Okay," he grunted, "There's probably some sort of reaction when the ridges on your back touch any material surface, and that would... instantaneously cause a space to become as dirty as possible?" He paused, blinking, then continued shoving. "Yes, that sounds reasonable."

The door opened. On the other side of the room, Raven opened her mouth, trying to find the words for the scene before her. "Um, Robin? What... what are you doing?"

He glanced up, then back down at the small mutant he was currently pushing around the counter. "Research," he said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Right." A dozen sarcastic responses flew through Raven's mind, but she simply sighed. "I'm leaving now." Taking a step back, she closed the door again.

Silkie chirped happily.

[]

Raven

The words of the chant echoed quietly in the empty room. "Azarath, Metrion..."

A pause. Raven opened her eyes.

Silkie was squatting at her feet, looking up with a blank sort of smile.

"Please leave me alone." When the creature didn't move, Raven rolled her eyes. "...Fine."

Using her powers, she levitated the TV remote off of the couch and tossed it to the other end of the room. Squeaking, Silkie slowly made his way in that direction. With a sigh, Raven went back to meditating.

And that was that.

[]

Starfire, Beast Boy  


"Oh yeah? Well, I would..." Cyborg narrowed his eyes. "I'd eat a pizza I found in a _dumpster! _Ha! Beat that!"

Shaking his head, Beast Boy gave his friend a look of pity. "Oh, Cyborg. Sweet, innocent Cyborg. You don't have a chance, dude."

"What?!"

"Don't even try, man." Beast Boy grinned. "I'll always be the king of gross stuff."

"Prove it!" Cyborg leaned forward, throwing his hands down on the table. "Dumpster-pizza, my friend. Whatcha got?"

"Fine," Beast Boy sighed. "Just remember, I gave you every chance not to embarrass yourself."

"Stallin' like the engine on a stick-shift."

"First of all: lame. Second, I can turn into a goat, Cy. And a fly. And a seagull." Smirking triumphantly, he played his trump card. "I'd eat everything in that dumpster, _and then I'd eat the dumpster._"

Gaping, he let his jaw drop. "...Dang."

"Yeah." Beast Boy gave a final nod. "Like I said, I-"

"Silkie! Are you hungry?"

Starfire's worried yell cut across the room. Frowning, Beast Boy tried to regain his momentum. "It's like I said before-"

"Oh, I know! Shall we consume more flesh from the decomposing bones of your adult form's corpse? Yes? Wonderful!"

A mumbled sound of disgust and terror bubbled up from Beast Boy's throat, and he clapped a hand over his mouth. Cyborg, however, was leaning over the table, laughing uncontrollably. "You know, B," he managed, wiping tears from his eyes, "Most people'd turn green right now-" He broke into another gasping hiccup, trying to stop chuckling. "Wanna know what color you are?"

"M'gonna use the bathroom quick," Beast Boy mumbled, shutting his eyes tightly and unsteadily making his way across the room.

"O-o-ORANGE!" Cyborg gasped out in between peals of laughter. "You're like a big carrot, B!"

"Don't even _talk_ about food right now, dude." The closing doors told them that Starfire had left the room.

He threw one last barb at his friend's retreating back. "What's that, 'king of gross stuff'? Couldn't hear over the sound of Silkie eating-"

"SHUT UP, CY."

[]

Cyborg

He blinked lazily at the screen in front of him. At some point, the TV had switched from a wildly irreverent cartoon about a war between donkeys and elephants to a much-less-interesting segment detailing an antique show's collection of bug-eyed doll figurines.

"Huh." A zoom-in made him grimace. "That's just creepy." Shaking his head, he made a grab for the remote on the cushion beside him.

It wasn't there.

"Wha...?" Cyborg glanced to both sides, making sure he hadn't dropped the remote anywhere before sitting. "Where'd I leave that stupid-"

A faint sound interrupted him. From his vantage point on top of the couch's back, Silkie looked down at him curiously and, every so often, made a small giggling sound.

"What's up, little guy?" Cyborg said absently, still looking around the room. It wasn't anywhere near the TV itself, and it wasn't on any of the shelves or counters... Maybe Beast Boy had grabbed it? He frowned, then got up to make his way across the room. He'd nearly reached the door when he suddenly stopped.

"...Oh, no." Very slowly, he turned back, eyes locked on the tiny mutant.

Silkie met his stare, not flinching.

Cyborg swallowed. "_No_."

The smallest of motions. The quietest of echoes. The most minute of twitches.

...Silkie burped.

"No, no, no, no, NO!" In an absolute panic, he darted between every corner of the room, desperately searching every inch of the floor as well as gaps between the furniture. "There's no way! I don't- it can't- _NO!_"

True to form, Silkie said nothing.

"YOU!" Suddenly, Cyborg stopped, spinning back towards the creature and raising his arm to point with a trembling finger. "I can't believe this, man! I thought we were friends!" He faltered, letting his hand drop. "Well... not really friends, I guess, but we both hang out here a lot! And we like watchin' TV and stuff! And we like food!"

As if he recognized the irony, Silkie cocked his head and squinted slightly.

Cyborg gasped. "Don't even joke about that. That wasn't food and _you know it_."

Silkie seemed to shrug.

"YOU SLIMY MAGGOT." Taking a deep breath, he knelt down closer and pointed in Silkie's face. "If Starfire didn't love you so much, I'd punt you out into the bay, and then I'd have Beast Boy go find you again just so I could try to kick you even farther. Nobody stops me from watchin'-"

He paused. "Wait a sec." Standing thoughtfully, he took a moment before crossing his arms and looking back down with authority. "Spit it back up."

Silkie nuzzled his arm. "You can do that, I'm pretty sure," Cyborg continued, unfazed. "So just gimme the remote, and we'll be good. I'll even pretend this whole deal never happened."

Scooting backwards, Silkie blinked before toppling back onto the couch cushions.

"I'll punch it outta you," he warned. "Don't think I won't."

Silkie wiggled, adjusting to turn right-side-up.

"_All right_," Cyborg said. "I guess I got no choice-"

He stopped. Across the room, at the base of one of the walls in the kitchen area, lay the remote.

...

Cyborg looked back down at Silkie. "Well... I, uh, I guess you didn't..."

There was, of course, no response.

"...Yeah." He sighed. "Not really in the mood for TV anymore. I'm just gonna..." Voice trailing off, he sat down on the couch. Silkie moved over to allow him more space.

"Sorry I called you a slimy maggot." Silkie looked up, and he considered his appearance for a minute. "Although, y'know, in a technical sorta way..."

[]

[]

[]

Scrapped idea: **short scene** in which Beast Boy dramatically acts like Silkie has chosen Starfire over him, his original owner. It was going to play out like a **soap opera**, most likely with Beast Boy shrieking "_I thought what we had was special!_" and "_You're not leaving__! I'LL leave!_" and stuff like that.

...I mean, these were pretty stupid, but that one would have been REALLY stupid.

[]

So, I know I had a decently thoughtful analysis that I took a lot of time on, and put a lot of work into, for 'The Beast Within'. People seemed to like it, and that's really great. Thanks for that.

...That said, I have nothing even remotely similar for this episode.

I mean, it's great. It's hilarious. Silkie is my new favorite thing in the world. But I'm just making it clear that, most of the time, I won't be observant or clever enough to design my own little half-baked psychological profiles like last time.

So here's a list of **funny things**.

-The opening scene starts with happy, light music over a couple shots of a peaceful city. And then a giant robot dog starts blowing things up, and Johnny freaking Rancid starts a monologue that includes lines like this: "Run from your lives! Run from _my doggy!_" I love my life.

-This fight is killer. For the first half, the robot dog just bowls straight through all their attacks, and it's actually kind of intimidating. Then, to strike the final blow, Raven distracts it with a light post or something to go fetch- and out of nowhere, Starfire's green-lightning deal and Cyborg's sonic cannons literally TEAR IT IN HALF AND CAUSE EVERY PART OF THE MACHINE TO EXPLODE.

-(But before the fight ends, right after the robot gets a good hit on Robin, Johnny crows, "Ahaha! Smooth move, bird boy! My dog's kickin' your-" And suddenly, Beast Boy launches him across the street with a single kick. From a donkey. Or, you know, an ass.)

-Robin demands to know where Johnny is, and Beast Boy just says, "Um... I thought you had him?"

-On seeing the wrecked Tower, Starfire wonders, "There was a party, and we were not invited?" _But what if there was, though?_ A bunch of drunk teenagers, just randomly crashing the headquarters of a famous superhero team? Wouldn't that be awesome?

-Can we just get episode recaps from Beast Boy all the time? **"Okay. Remember when Killer Moth made an army of mutant moths and forced Robin to take his daughter to prom? And he was like, 'MEHH', and you were like, 'GREH', and then Robin was like, 'SsseuaAAAGH', but then we found Killer Moth, and I was like, 'Dude!', and Raven was like, 'Dzzzt', and Cyborg was like, 'Booyeah!', and we kicked his butt, and the mutant moths turned back into these cute little wormy things?"**

-Starfire, completely lost: "Um... yes."

-I love Silkie immediately. Oh my Lord, Beast Boy trying to convince Starfire to take care of him is wonderful. And she falls in love with the little guy. Of course. This is perfect.

-(Side note: What is it that makes Silkie and others so funny, when the comic-relief-side-character is sometimes really annoying? It's an interesting role for a character to have, because if they aren't as funny as they're supposed to be, they're immediately hated. Is Silkie a good example here because he doesn't talk? Or maybe it's because of how the Titans interact with him. I don't know.)

-Starfire daydreams that she'll feed him, play with him in the park, give him baths, read to him, give him a stroller and a baby crib, and... watch him graduate?

-Beast Boy throws Starfire out the window. I mean, she can fly, but I was really confused for a second.

-Starfire burps Silkie by flattening him with a rolling pin. That is amazing.

-Um... Starfire, those are curtains. Those are not blankets.

-Silkie becomes a gargantuan monster, but Starfire can still lift him up like it's no big deal. Why do I keep forgetting how strong she is? Is it because she's animated without huge, unrealistic muscles? Man, I need to reevaluate the assumptions I make about characters.

-Oh my Lord. Starfire trying to lie and hide a secret is absolutely wonderful. Raven sarcastically asks if she had some kind of argument with the curtains, and she responds, "Er... yes! Today is- Gorb Gorb! The Tamaranean festival of berating drapery. Stupid curtains!" That's funny on its own, but then she zaps them with an eye-blast that destroys the wall of the Tower and sends lasers into the sky.

-Without missing a beat, Raven just mutters, "...Aliens."

-Robin asks why the sofa is missing. Starfire tries to be sneaky again. "Your Earthly ways are strange! Please, what is this 'so-fa' of which you speak? Eh-ehehehehe! ...Bye!"

-Silkie eats Cyborg's leg at one point. That happens.

-Robin decides the best way to fight Silkie is to jump on his head and ride him around for a while. It doesn't work.

-There's a really bizarre visual moment, where Silkie is eating a bunch of the Tower and causing destruction and stuff, but then he starts eating so much of the outside that it _actually starts coming back_. We're still hearing chomping noises, but the Tower is reappearing.

-The bit where Starfire has to abandon Silkie on a rocky island is surprisingly sad. Silkie looks like a morose puppy, and I was really kind of bummed out. Also, this is Air Bud, if you're wondering. We're watching Air Bud. Seriously, the plot adds up.

-This is freaking amazing. Killer Moth is riding a gigantic monster moth with a flaming whip. That's way more awesome than this silly episode should be.

-(Johnny Rancid has been absolutely pointless, by the way. He immediately lost twice. I guess I took him too seriously last time?)

-I think like four different characters have asked "What've you been FEEDING him?"

-Raven attacks Silkie-monster by _throwing a bus at him_. And it works.

-Robin fights Killer Moth, hand-to-hand, marial-arts style. It's so normal, it almost feels out-of-place with everything else going on.

-Direct quote from the mutant supervillain: "Come to... papa. Hey, big fella. Did Killer Moth create you in a lab? Yes he did, yes he did... Join me. And together we will... um, go on a... picnic of some sort."

-Silkie is actually looking back and forth, between his original, abusive owner, and the kind and loving young person who truly cares for him. This. Is. Air Bud.

-I was seriously wondering which side he would choose. I didn't expect him to explode. That was a good twist.

-One last gem from Johnny: "Ugh. I got eaten."

-Just to wrap it all up, Cyborg exclaims happily, "Sweet! My leg!"

-This is a weird ending. We're staring at a giant sludge-covered ribcage in the middle of the street. Beast Boy sees the smaller Silkie, and says, "He wasn't mutating! He was just... molting!"

-I was one hundred percent sure he was going to say 'pregnant'. There's even a little pause before it and everything.

-This is Raven's rationale: "That stuff's gotta get cleaned up somehow." Starfire and Silkie are literally eating the flesh and guts of Silkie's previous body. That is the sickest thing I've ever seen in a cartoon. And it's hilarious.

[]

...Well, I asked for filler. I guess I got it. But this is absolutely the best way to do filler. I was reading a post somewhere talking about filler episodes in shows like this, and they were discussing different ways to make something work when you can't advance the main story too much. The idea they were talking about was to focus on secondary characters, fleshing out their story and working on relationships.

Or, you know, you could just make it so funny you almost can't breathe.

Next up: 'Bunny Raven or How to Make a Titanimal Disappear'. Well, I wonder if it'll be a serious or silly one? It's been a while since we've had an episode focusing on WAIT WAIT WHAT? WHAT?

*reads title again*

...

_...What?_


	38. Bunny Raven

Season 3, Episode 11

**Breaking News  
**

[]

_We interrupt your regularly scheduled program to bring you shocking new developments in the hostage crisis at the Jump City Reserve Bank. We've received reports that a criminal calling himself 'The Amazing Mumbo' has not only successfully stolen as-yet unknown sums of money, but has also trapped several employees and civilians inside the building. Police are on their way to the scene, as-_

_Wait. I- I'm sorry, folks, I'm being told- yes, it seems that the Teen Titans have arrived to apprehend the suspect. Details are scarce without a visual confirmation, but as far as we know, the superhero team is engaging this criminal in battle. Of course, the Titans have our full support and confidence, and with the police force arriving shortly, we can only hope that-_

_(What? No, that's- What are you talking about? ...Are you sure? Well, I wouldn't know, I've never seen something like that- alright, alright.)_

_Sorry again for the interruption; we've received word that both the robber and the Teen Titans have disappeared. ___I repeat, 'Mumbo' and the Teen Titans are missing from the area. _As far as we know, the hostages are now the only people in the bank. A special task force deployed by the police has made its way inside, and is currently overseeing an evacuation out of the building, along with a recovery of the stolen money. _

_It... It seems the situation has been resolved, ladies and gentlemen. We apologize for any confusion caused by this broadcast, and hope you all have a safe and peaceful evening. _

_..._

_..._

_..._

_TONIGHT! On an all new 'Jump City Vibe'! What REALLY happened at the JCR Bank? We've got the whole story right here, and it is HOT!**  
**_

_"-never seen anything like it! He had, like, a blue face-"_

_Footage you won't find ANYWHERE ELSE!_

_"Sir, I'm gonna have to ask you to turn off that camera-"_

_"-want to know what's going on!" _

_"Sir, this is a police matter, and I won't ask you again-"_

_Reports from eyewitnesses!_

_"I don't really know... I mean, we waited for a while, but there was just nothin', you know? Nothin' but this stupid hat on the ground, almost like they got sucked in or somethin'. Then after the police showed up, there was this 'BANG', and, like, a bright light, then suddenly the blue guy and one'a them Titans are arguin' about magic tricks... I'm pretty sure everyone just went home after that."_

_And just when you thought you'd seen it all..._

_"Dude! Is that thing rolling? Am I on TV right now?!"_

_We've got LIVE INTERVIEWS..._

_"Yo, Cyborg! Check it out! I'm on TV!"_

_WITH THE TITANS THEMSELVES!_

_"So, Raven gets turned into a rabbit pretty much right away. And Mumbo's got us stuck in this weird hat-world, where everyone's turning into circus animals and stuff! Cyborg's was great, he had to be a-"_

_"WE'RE LEAVIN', BEAST BOY."_

_It's all here, and it's all exclusive! You WON'T see this anywhere else! Don't miss the story of the year!_

_"Wait! I didn't get to the part about the bananas!"_

_Only tonight! Only on 'Jump City Vibe'!_

[]

[]

[]

**The Show Must Go Off  
**

[]

"Admit it. Being a rabbit was kinda fun."

"No."

"Awww, come on, Raven!"

She sighed, stepping through the doorway. "It was pointless and stupid, like everything else in that place." Now in the Tower's main room, she glanced back at Beast Boy. "It was _not_ fun."

"Arguably not pointless, though," Cyborg said. Already heading to the couch, he called over his shoulder, "Mumbo chose a bunny 'cause he thought it fit his magician getup, right?"

"Doesn't explain the others," Robin mused as he entered. "I mean, a bear in a tutu? What _was_ that?"

"Uh, a freaking amazing idea. That's what it was."

"Beast Boy." Raven rubbed her forehead. "No, all you guys. Just- _ugh_. I don't want to argue about magic shows and animals and complete lunatics anymore. Can we talk about something else?"

For a moment, the Titans were quiet. With a wince indicative of a headache, Raven shut her eyes and sat down in one of the room's chairs.

"How come? Is it making you..."

She blinked, and suddenly a bright green rabbit was crouched in front of her.

Its nose twitched. "_Unhoppy?_" Beast Boy's voice exclaimed cheerfully.

Various reactions followed. Cyborg gave an amused snort, and Robin smiled while shaking his head. For her part, Starfire gave a polite smile, one that either meant she didn't completely understand the joke or, more likely, didn't want to admit that it wasn't that funny. Raven didn't move a single muscle in her face, leveling her friend with a blank stare.

Beast Boy blinked first- he popped back into view after a few seconds with a grin. Now that he had the rest of the Titans' attention, his eyes grew wide. "Oh! I forgot something! Quick, everybody go back out and come in again!"

Starfire at least glanced towards the entrance, but the others didn't even move. "Uh, why?" Robin asked.

"Fine!" Beast Boy threw up his hands, frustrated. "I'll just do it from here!" Quickly, he scampered into the middle of the room. Arms spread theatrically, he drew himself up in what he probably thought was a dignified pose, and half-closed his eyes in a snooty expression. "Ladies and gentlemen," he said in a sniveling, nasally voice, "I'd like to welcome you to tonight's performance! Prepare yourself for wonders unknown, tricks and illusions the likes of which have never been seen before!"

Before the others could react, he had darted back towards them, then turned to face the center as if he was now a different person. Clapping slowly, he suddenly appeared bored and unimpressed; he leaned over to a nonexistent audience member and whispered, "These seats are hardly worth eighty dollars!" Taking a quick step to the side, he glared back. "Hush, darling, it's about to start!"

It was the same odd nasal tone, but with a different inflection, like he was pretending to be someone who was, himself, pretending to be multiple people. The bit got a chuckle out of Cyborg, at least, and Beast Boy took the opportunity to cycle through multiple characters: the overexcited MC introducing an act, the assistant pointing and gesturing to various invisible attractions, and the audience members both amazed and unamused.

When he switched to a couple of seasoned theater critics, deriding the show with matching insults while searching about for rotten fruit to throw, Robin's eyes lit up. "Oh, I get it! He's doing what Mumbo did."

Already laughing, Cyborg glanced over. "Huh?"

"Back in the show," Robin explained. "In Mumbo's hat, everyone looked like him. It was like a whole auditorium full of the same person. I guess Beast Boy's making fun of-"

"Sir!" A haughty snap made him pause, and Beast Boy was giving him an offended glare. "Kindly refrain from interrupting the performance!" Before Robin could say anything, Beast Boy's attention shifted to the ceiling of the room. "Oh, what is _this_ hullabaloo?"

It only took a few seconds for him to spring upwards, now a screeching monkey in the room's rafters. The Titans barely had time to watch his antics before he was back on the ground, shaking his head in disapproval. "This won't do at all. Would someone please restrain that primate?"

Cyborg had to brace his hand against the couch to keep from falling over, he was laughing so hard. "We encourage you," Raven said, resignation in her voice. "We really have no one to blame but ourselves."

Beaming, Beast Boy moved back to his original position, hands outstretched. "Now, if I may have your attention," he said in a dramatic whisper, "I'm going to-" He blinked, abruptly swaying and drooping his arms. With a peaceful sigh, he gently lowered himself to the floor.

Torn between annoyance and concern, Raven frowned. "Uh, Beast Boy? Everything okay?"

"M'fine, m'fine," he slurred. "Jus'... jus' really tired all'a sudden..."

"Perhaps our friend has suffered from being trapped as a decorative lamp?" Starfire wondered. "He is used to the running and jumping, after all."

Robin shrugged. "Makes sense. Not moving his muscles all day, then burning through a lot of energy all at once- heck, I'm surprised he got through so much of his, uh... show-parody thing."

"Huh." Cyborg glanced at his friend's almost-sleeping form. "That _was_ pretty weird, though. Havin' a bunch of clones of yourself in a big ol' bizarro-world is pretty much the strangest thing I can think of."

"What?" All fatigue seemingly gone, Beast Boy sat back up with a determined look. "No way! That wasn't even close to the weirdest thing he did!"

Raven raised her eyebrows. "Well, since you've clearly given this some thought... if it wasn't the clones, what was it?"

Beast Boy let his voice drop to a whisper. "Something so bizarre, if any other bad guy tried it, I guarantee we'd all totally freak out!" He straightened, meeting each Titan's gaze with his own, as if he was about to say something incredibly serious. "Okay, picture this..."

[]

**The Mumbo Effect**

[]

"We're close. I can feel it."

Raven tentatively stepped forward. "Yeah, well, I'm _feeling_ like we're completely lost."

Wandering through the cave, the Titans found themselves in near-total darkness, relying only on their leader's sense of direction to lead them toward their destination. Robin didn't even glance back upon hearing the snarky comment, keeping his eyes focused ahead. "This is it, guys. The moment we've been waiting for ever since we heard Slade had been spotted again. It's time for some answers."

Beast Boy coughed. "Yeah, like the answer to why he keeps showing up when we keep kicking his butt. And why he always hides out in these stupid underground tunnels."

"Simple."

The five heroes froze, completely stunned by the sudden voice. A light sparked to life high above them, revealing a wide and tall cavern with a metal structure hugging the wall just below the ceiling. From this platform, Slade himself stood, staring down with an impassive glare. "Tunnels such as these are mysterious, concealing, and intimidating," he said in his quietly powerful voice. "And you must admit, Titans- if nothing else, you have been intimidated."

"That's not true!" Beast Boy's indignant reply was betrayed by the squeaking voice-break on the word 'true', and he paused. "Uh- I mean-"

"What do you want this time, Slade?" Robin demanded, ignoring his friend's antics. "You've tried fighting one of us, and you've tried fighting all of us. You've even tried destroying this city, and none of it's worked. What makes you think this is gonna be any different?"

Slade didn't move as he spoke. "I've studied your battles. I've observed what has been effective. And now, I know your weakness."

Starfire glared up at him. "Of what do you speak? What is this weakness?"

He chuckled. "Oh, Titans."

Slade's voice echoed in the chamber, and the lights were suddenly extinguished once more, leaving darkness.

"I'm so glad you asked."

A single spotlight cut through the cave, shining directly on Slade himself. He leaned forward. "_When... I_..."

Raven tilted her head. "Um, what-"

_"-Wish I had more power, but I'm looking at the Tower, and the Titans still aren't mine_

_When I want to rule the city, I'll just sing this little ditty, and I'll find I'm feeling fine!"_

A sudden crash of loud music had swelled from the ceiling. In time with the wild and raucous rhythm, Slade danced around the platforms, throwing his arms around and above his head in a way that didn't seem to fit at all with his calm and collected persona.

_"It's the songs that win the battles, 'cause the heroes can't be rattled by a normal-sounding foe_

_Put some singing in the scheming, soon the caverns will be teeming with the robots down below!"_

Sure enough, dozens of Slade's robots were pouring from cracks at the base of the walls, leaping and climbing forwards. When they neared the Titans, they formed a large ring of backup dancers, swaying perfectly with the beat and, occasionally, providing "_Ooh ooh_" vocals.

_"Yes, the music will defeat you, proving it was Slade who beat you, and you might think it's just din,_

_Such a ceremony, really, and it all seems rather silly, but I swear, this time I'll wiiiiiin!"_

As he finished the line, numerous robots piled on top of one another to form a chain leading up to the ceiling's platforms, and Slade stepped onto the shoulders of the nearest one. He held out the last note, still singing, and the robot pile drew back down to the ground, effectively lowering their leader to the surface in a grand procession.

When he finally ended the word, Slade paused. "...Where'd they go?"

Further down the tunnel, the Titans were, for once, in full retreat. Robin led the way with a completely blank expression, face tinged white with shock, and Raven followed close behind, muttering, "That didn't just happen. The only way anything in the world makes sense is if that _didn't happen_."

"I fear that I do not understand Slade's mind," Starfire said thoughtfully, flying above the rest. "He is... _more_ dangerous now, correct?"

"Don't know, don't care." Cyborg shuddered. "Wonder if Gotham needs any more heroes?"

Beast Boy waited for a full beat of silence to pass. "Well, I thought it was great."

[]

[]

[]

First of all, I'm so sorry.

Second, I am absolutely in love with Mumbo. He's still my favorite of the comedic villains so far, even though he's only been in like two episodes. Everything he says here is hilarious, but even beyond that, this works doubly well because every setup in the episode is off-the-wall crazy. The Titans are animals, and we get jokes for that. We get jokes for Mumbo's hat being an entire city. There are jokes for the ridiculous prop-fights that take place between the Titans and Mumbo's magic henchmen. There are random references to Dr. Seuss and the Muppets. There are brilliant jokes for the absurdity of Mumbo being every single character in this place. There are even jokes for the bank robbery at the beginning of the episode.

The jokes do not stop. The joke pile doesn't stop from getting taller.

The settings here are bizarre. Particularly, the neon-city feel of Mumbo's hat-dimension is really cool. It's this expanse of alleys and glitzy theaters, and no one really lives or even appears there except a bunch of iterations of Mumbo himself. Gives the whole episode a really fun, strange feel.

Actually, the question of setting gets more complicated. First, they think they're alone in the hat, but then Mumbo looks in from the ceiling like he's on the outside looking in, but THEN he shows up in person with ANOTHER SMALLER HAT, and just to make everything more confusing there's also this pair of floating giant hands that seemed like they were Mumbo's at first? And Mumbo is sometimes regular size and sometimes giant-sized? It's kind of a garbled mess of questions, but it really adds to the confused and frantic tone of the place.

And I love the concept of Raven both outsmarting and out-magician-ing Mumbo. Capped with a perfect little (rare) smile at the end, when she dismisses him with, "A magician never reveals her secrets." Maybe as someone who knows real magic, she doesn't have a lot of patience for those who use it for ridiculous gags and weird self-indulgent games.

[]

**K THAT'S ENOUGH SPECULATION, TIME FOR DA JOKES:**

-We start with a close-up of Mumbo's face. This is a good sign.

-"For my next trick, I shall make ALL YOUR MONEY DISAPPEAR!"

-"I just love a captive audience." _Hey, because they're all tied up and gagged and everything. _

-It is so strange hearing this guy talk after I already know the Ice King from Adventure Time. Just... weird.

-The first battle with Mumbo is fast-paced to a fault. For real, I couldn't follow everything that was happening- playing cards, rings, Raven's magical attacks, birds, flowers, colored streamers, those weird little exploding white pellets... It's complete madness.

-Do whatever you can to find a picture of Raven as the bunny. It's adorable.

-"I'm Anycard! You know, _pick a card, any card?_" ...Okay, I get it, but this is odd. Everything else in this world is just Mumbo in a different disguise, right? So why is this one sentient playing card here along with the Titans? Does he ever get to leave? Is he trapped in a universe of nothing but Mumbo for all eternity?

-Raven says she won't help Mumbo with the act, and in a perfect Trix voice, he says, "Silly rabbit! YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE!" That's awesome.

-"If only there were a sign!" A sign immediately appears with Raven's name on it. Huh.

-Mumbo can't change Beast Boy into an animal, because he just changes right back, so he makes him a lamp. A beautiful, ornate lamp.

-Beast Boy calls them, being a phone and all, with a legitimate list of gripes: What do they have to complain about? What's wrong with being animals? They have legs, at least, and they can move around on their own- and Cyborg just hangs up.

-Man, no one wants to talk to Beast Boy. When they need to answer the phone again, Cyborg backs away, and Robin and Starfire do rock-paper-scissors to see who has to go talk to him.

-The fight with Mumbo's henchmen (and weird hand things? Like Master Hand from Super Smash Bros.?) is a riot. Robin throws gadgets and weapons, but they just turn into bananas, because he's a monkey. Starfire can't do anything except spit hairballs, because she's a cat. Cyborg still has his cannon, but for some reason, it's just an unfurled paper that says 'bang'. Beast Boy offers to prank call their attackers. Hey, it's no worse than any other idea they've tried.

-Out of all this craziness, Raven and Mumbo actually have a pretty interesting conversation about the nature of illusions and tricks and showmanship, and how people differentiate between legitimately unexplained events and 'magic'. Kinda insightful, really. It's like it's so normal that it becomes funny next to all the insanity.

-"I DO NOT LIKE BEING A CAT IN THIS HAT!" Man, I wasn't expecting a Dr. Seuss reference when I booted up Teen Titans today.

-Beast Boy says he could use a hand, so the hands start clapping.

-Mumbo, very randomly, pretends to be a fortune teller for about five seconds. Bad accent and all.

-A puppet, but one of Mumbo's clone-people, waltzes across the screen. "Two minutes to showtime, Mr. Amazing! ...You're great, I love you."

-The song is actually really fun! I liked it. It's called 'Master of Your Fate', if you want to listen to it again. But has this show had a musical number EVER before this?

-Also, the hands sing. That's a thing that happens.

-So does Mumbo have kind of a Jack-Sparrow type thing going here? They're definitely other people, because they argue with him and throw fruit sometimes, and some are women or big buff dudes. But they all have blue skin and white, soulless eyes, so they must be him, right? I mean, since this is the inside of his hat we're talking about. But why would he have versions of himself that can turn on him and actually dislike the show?

-Whoa! They just did a bit referencing those two angry critics in the Muppets!

-Mumbo calls Cyborg 'Borgie', and my life is complete. Also, he turns into one of those Russian dancer guys for a moment. I don't know why.

-"He made me do a jig." Starfire's reaction: "AAAAH! That madman must be stopped! ...Please, what is a 'jig'?"

-I'm lost. Robin shoots bananas at Mumbo's eyes, and the crowd cheers. Then Mumbo spins a lever, and cymbals show up in Robin's hands, and they immediately boo and throw rotten fruit at him. AND NOW CARS AND A BOAT ARE FALLING FROM THE SKY. OKAY.

-Mumbo puts himself inside Starfire's mouth, then appears below her... I don't know anymore, you guys.

Beast Boy: "I got it!" Cyborg: "It can't involve driving a tank or unleashing magician-eating sharks." Beast Boy: "...I don't got it." _But how amazing would that plan be?!_

-They defeat Mumbo by painting themselves invisible, then kicking him in the face so hard that they all explode out into the real world. You know, obviously.

-Beast Boy congratulating Robin on catching Mumbo with a hook-throw-grappler thing: "Yes! You have no bananas!" ...What?

"That _was_ the best trick ever!" "Eh, it was _old hat_." "E-HYEH-HYEH-HYEH!"

[]

Next up: 'Titans East, Pt. 1'. Man, I'm loving these two-part finales. I'm hoping for something as soul-searching as Robin's story was for the first season, and Beast Boy's (or, arguably, Terra's) was for the second. **  
**

Also, a big thank you to everybody! I've gotten a whole bunch of reviews for these last two updates, and it's been really fantastic to hear so much feedback. Whether it's comments about the stories, or people offering their ideas on analyses and theories for each episode, I've had a ton of fun reading it all. So thanks again! It really means a lot, and it helps me get more done. Not in a magic way or anything- I'm just not a terribly motivated person if I don't have people poking me and saying 'Hey, here's incentive to get stuff done, lazy.'

That said, I'd like to shamelessly take advantage of this attention and plug another story. It's a standalone Titans fic called 'Hemlock and Mutineers', and I am still working on it (it only LOOKS like it's been completely abandoned). The first part of two (or maybe even three) is posted, and I'd love to know what you guys think about it while I try to get more work done on the next big part.

If this was a livestream, you would see me post this chapter, close up my computer, and collapse in a heap on my wonderful, wonderful bed.

Later, dorks.


	39. Titans East, pt 1

Season 3, Episode 12

**O Brother  
**

[]

"Do we know anyone with weather powers?"

"Oh, sweet Lord." Bumblebee's exasperated voice crackled from his communicator. "Do _not_ start complaining about the cold again, Speedy."

The archer in question rubbed his hands together, then looked down over the edge of the rooftop. "Oh, no. Wouldn't dream of it." He exhaled enough to make a misty cloud in front of his face. "In fact, the real problem's that it's not nearly cold enough."

"Wanna talk about real problems? Here's one. You won't stop talking."

He glanced up into the night sky, pointedly ignoring his grumbling teammate. "Seriously. Why stop here? Sure, I'm freezing my skin off and starting to hallucinate like an Antarctic explorer, but I'm sure we could kick it up a notch. Real end-of-the-world type blizzards. There's gotta be someone out there who can throw together a storm cold enough to just kill me already."

Bumblebee groaned. "I swear, I will kick you off the team we haven't even officially started yet."

"No, you won't." He squinted, lining up a shot across the wide alley. Carefully, he drew an arrow and pulled it back on the bow. "You'd miss me eventually."

He fired, a tight smile on his face as the arrow flew straight and true. A metal burr in the tip latched itself into the side of a chimney, and he stepped back to admire his handiwork. The thin wire tied to the projectile now stretched across the entire street, leveling down only slightly, and he made sure to securely tie the other end in place. He grabbed a rope from his belt, flinging it over the line and binding it securely to both wrists before backing up a few steps.

"I'd enjoy the quiet in the meantime, though."

Speedy chuckled. "Keep telling yourself that, Bee." He took a running start, then leaped off the edge of the rooftop, controlling the momentum and weight of the rig so he didn't bounce too quickly. The wind whipped at his face, even colder now- but only for a few seconds, as he quickly landed on the other building and skidded to a stop.

Bumblebee's voice came through again, sounding slightly suspicious. "...What was that?"

"I'm sure I don't know what you mean." Speedy got to work dismantling the makeshift pulley, quickly getting the rope and wire back onto his utility belt.

"We are _supposed_ to be scoping out a location for a team base." She was practically growling now. "If you're playing with your stupid toys instead of doing any real work-"

"Hey, these are high-tech machines I'm working with. Help me get around faster."

"All right, hotshot, so what part of the city are you in now?"

Speedy paused, one hand still on the chimney. "Um. The... financial district?"

"You're by the docks. Check the map on your comm once in a while. See, this is why you gotta take this stuff more seriously." The comm went quiet for a moment, and Speedy moved to the other edge of the roof. From here, he could see that she was right- a half-dozen blocks away, the black water of Steel City's piers was shimmering in the cold starlight.

He took in the sight, barely moving his head to speak into the device. "Still there?"

"Yeah, just- hang on." There was a far-off discussion, too faint to hear, but she returned quickly. "All right, Aqualad's got something. I'm gonna head over to his location. Keep looking."

Briefly, he entertained the thought of asking why they only had one communicator that could interact with more than one recipient- effectively making the rest little more than walkie-talkies- but he decided against it. She'd probably use it as another moment to explain why they needed to start making real progress on the Titans East project. His gaze wandered down to the top of a fire escape on the building's side. He smirked. "Sure."

A modified grappling hook and a couple of well-timed jumps were all it took to lightly scramble down the structure, and soon Speedy was back on the cold, hard ground. Returning the equipment to its place, he paused.

He heard something.

Scuffing of feet, like... someone moving through the snow, but not normally. There was a dragging, too, or maybe some kind of limp. Hard to tell. Stranger than that, though, was the thought that anybody was out this late at all.

Besides their little band of heroes, of course.

He chuckled and started down the icy street. There wasn't a lot of light to work with, but he didn't need much to find his way past deserted buildings and walled-off shipping yards. The sound had gotten noticeably closer when his comm buzzed again- he jumped, immediately turning down the volume and holding it closer to his ear.

"Okay, so we found this... uh..." Bumblebee cleared her throat. "Aqualad found this little Mexican dude, and he's kind of freaking out."

Speedy ducked into another alley, hoping his conversation wasn't loud enough to alert his presence. "And?" he hissed. "What's the plan?"

"Trying to figure that out now. We think he's lost, and trying to get home? Only speaks Spanish, though, so we're not sure."

This mission was getting weird. He sighed. "Okay. Fishface can speak a little, right?"

"Yeah, and he's-" She stopped again, and there was a flurry of sound; she probably handed Aqualad the device. "Speedy? You there?"

"Yeah."

Aqualad sounded worried and rushed, but trying to keep calm. "He's not looking for home. It's his brother. Sounds like he's lost somewhere in the city. Have you seen anything?"

He was about to answer, but the sound caught his attention again. He darted to the corner and looked around. "Maybe," he said quietly. "Give me a minute."

Switching off the comm's volume, Speedy crept down the street, staying close to the side of the buildings. The sound stopped, then started again, and he was more and more sure that it was someone walking in an abnormal way. He moved past the entrance to one of the walled-off plots used for shipping, but doubled back and entered on a whim.

There. Huddled near the base of the wall, shaking snow away from his feet, was a boy. Short, almost impossibly short, and hunched with his arms crossed in front of him, he bowed his head like he was concentrating on the ground below him. Speedy fought back his surprise, careful not to make a sound as he approached. But the boy didn't look up- he kicked his leg out a few times, as if trying to keep up his energy.

Smart. Any way to stave off the cold was valid, here- but, Speedy worried, it was probably exhausting him. He set down his weapons in the snow, staying on one knee as he held up his hands, still a dozen feet away or so. "Hey."

As expected, the boy flinched and looked up right away. Sensing a potential mad dash, Speedy tried his best to display a comforting smile. "It's okay," he said quickly. "It's okay. Are you lost?"

The boy gave him a confused look. Speedy tried again. "What's your name?"

Still clearly nervous, the boy launched into a string of Spanish that Speedy didn't comprehend in the slightest. He stopped himself from groaning out loud- because _of course_, how could he have already forgotten that- and took a second to think. Okay. What to do...

Reluctantly, he grabbed the communicator again. "Aqualad," he said after he'd switched it back on. "I, uh, I might need your help for a sec."

"What's going on?"

"Well, I found your mystery brother, for one thing." The boy was looking more and more riled up, glancing past Speedy to the gap in the walls. "But he's about to make a break for it, I think, so can you hurry up and calm him down?"

"What?" Aqualad sounded even more confused. "How would I do that?"

"_I don't know_." The harsh tone made the kid flinch. Seething, Speedy tried to keep his voice light and nonthreatening. "I can't talk to this guy at all, so you need to-"

He paused. "Wait. Give the comm to the other one."

Aqualad seemed to consider the decision, but before long, a new voice came from the machine. "Quien es? Quien es?"

Like magic, the boy's entire demeanor changed. He darted towards Speedy, nearly colliding with him, and only stopped when the communicator was inches from his face. "Más? Más, eres tú?" he practically shouted.

Speedy didn't pick up much of the ensuing conversation, but he didn't have to. The boy's face was suddenly alive with joy, and he even started crying as he spoke with his brother- he must have been worried sick, Speedy decided, because he was acting like he hadn't been sure he'd ever see him again.

After a moment, Aqualad's voice came through once more. Halting, slow Spanish phrases seemed to register with the boy, and he looked back up at Speedy with an unsure glance. But eventually, he nodded.

Speedy smiled again, for the kid's benefit, and spoke quietly. "What'd you tell him?"

"That we're friends, and if he stays with you, you'll bring him to his brother. Oh, one more thing." Another Spanish question emanated from the comm.

The young boy looked surprised, but moved his eyebrows up in a cautiously hopeful gesture. "Menos," he said, voice shaking.

"His name," Aqualad said proudly.

Speedy looked down at the boy in front of him. "Huh," he finally said. Even though he knew the kid couldn't understand him, he stuck out his hand. "Well, Menos- let's go find your brother."

[]

[]

[]

**Where Art Thou  
**

[]

"Have you seen Robin?"

"Huh?"

Starfire coughed, then tried again. "_Have you seen Robin?_" she asked more loudly.

Beast Boy didn't take his gaze away from the TV. "Uh, yeah. Think he was gonna go call Cyborg." Turning slightly, he grinned before returning to his game. "He's comin' back pretty soon, y'know."

"Oh, yes!" She smiled brightly. "I believe I will also participate in the call. Do you wish to greet him as well?"

"Nah, I said hi this morning," he said. His fingers flew over the controller as the game continued. "Oh, tell him I turned his room into a pool hall."

Starfire considered this for a minute. "He will... appreciate this joke?"

"Absolutely not. That's the point."

She shook her head, leaving the chuckling Beast Boy behind her, and made for the hallway. It didn't take long until she was near Robin's room, and heard him speaking quickly behind the slightly-open door. He did not sound like he was welcoming a friend back home.

Something was wrong.

Just as she knocked, the _beep_ of the communicator sounded, indicating the end of a call. Starfire hesitantly pushed the door open. "Robin?"

He was standing near the wall, staring down at the blank device in his hand. The mask didn't give away much, but he seemed stunned. When he heard her enter, he glanced up quickly, still saying nothing. Worried, Starfire clasped her hands together. "What is the matter?"

"Well- um, it was..." Robin's voice grew quieter, and he looked down again, like he was struggling to find the words. It wasn't like him to seem so surprised. So lost.

Something clicked in her thoughts, and she made the connection. "...He is not coming back, is he?" she asked quietly.

Without answering, he took a nervous step towards the exit. "I'd better- I'll go tell them," he muttered. As he passed, Starfire noticed the complete shock on his face. She felt the same way.

How could this happen? How could... why would he... what went wrong? The questions piled up, and there was a fuzzy sort of worry pulling at her, because even though she knew she wouldn't find an answer, she still wanted to think about it and worry and it was all too much. Putting a hand over her mouth, she moved to the wall behind her and tried to keep her fear from running away. It was not that bad, surely? He would probably come back. They were his friends, and they needed him. He _would_ come back.

But he'd left them.

She heard a yell from the main room, and stepped out into the hallway just in time. Beast Boy was striding past her, fury written in his expression while he hissed loudly and yelled angry, awful things about his best friend. She thought she saw him wipe a hand across his eyes before he turned into his own room and slammed the door.

Cyborg would come back. She was sure of it.

Robin followed shortly, trying to talk to Beast Boy- he stood outside his room, knocking, explaining what was going on, how it was more complicated than it seemed, but Starfire could tell from his voice that he didn't really understand either, and he was only trying to soften the blow. She drifted past him, lost in her thoughts until she entered the main room again.

Raven was here now. She didn't move, or say anything- she was looking out the window at the bay. Starfire slowly approached her friend, but before she could speak, before she could even _think_ of what to say, the girl turned and gave her a blank look.

She said it in her head, and wished she could find the words to say it out loud. He would come back.

Raven narrowed her eyes and walked swiftly away, leaving Starfire once more to her thoughts. This was not the first time they had been reduced to four. But always, always there was a plan to rescue the fifth- to charge out into the city and wrest their friend away from monsters or robots or scheming villains.

There was no plan for this, though. No villains. No rescue. And Cyborg was worlds away from Jump City. The doubt she'd been holding back made itself known.

...Would he come back?

[]

[]

[]

So, 'Titans East pt. 1'. This one doesn't have the soul-crushing intensity and worry of the 'part 1' episodes in season 1 and 2, but it was still a lot of fun. I loved a lot about this one.

...But I'm very confused.

Also, you might notice that neither story really had Cyborg in it. And for that matter, both stories avoided the present state of the Titans East. There's a reason for that.

...Again, because I'm confused.

Three things are bugging me right now. At first, I wanted to say that they're keeping me from enjoying the episode fully, but the more I think about it, it's possible that I'm just not understanding it all because I haven't watched the second part yet. I want to ask the questions anyway, though: First, how long were the Titans East guys hypnotized? Don't get me wrong, it's a FANTASTIC twist, but I can't really make much sense of it. They must have all been hypnotized before Cyborg even got there, right? But then why would Blood orchestrate the formation of a superhero group that can potentially defeat him?

Second question: _Why did Blood attack the Tower at all? _If his plan is to let Cyborg become leader, why stage an elaborate robot-filled attack against the Titans East? Couldn't he just wait to do whatever it is he's going to do? How does a fake battle help him?

But the third question is the most important. I even suspect it might be the reason a few people told me in reviews they didn't really like these last two episodes- the question being, why did Cyborg make this decision at all? We've seen dozens and dozens of examples of how loyal Cyborg is to the Titans, and then he meets these guys for, like, a day, and suddenly he wants to switch? If it's a desire for leadership, that's fine- but I don't remember him actually showing any sign of wanting leadership before this. Does he act like a competent and brilliant leader here? Absolutely, but I still have trouble believing he was always hoping for this.

Again, the answers to these might be spoilers. Or maybe they're just me, not understanding things as well as I could. Either way, I suppose they're not that big of a deal, since I still really enjoyed the episode as a whole.

First off, the new Titans themselves. Do you guys like them? I like them. Más and Menos are a delightful surprise (normally I'd find the unison-talking really creepy, but here it's hilarious for some reason), and the other three are more snarky and sarcastic then I could have ever dreamed. This whole dysfunctional-family dynamic is really a treat.

The episode has a crazy opening, too. In barely a minute, we see the return of Brother Blood, a completely new location with the reveal of Steel City, an army of terrifying hooded figures, the announcement that A NEW HIVE SCHOOL IS GOING TO BE HERE, and even the introduction of a weird giant monster guy.

Who... doesn't really end up being all that important, but still. It's a ton of exposition, and it's a wonderfully fast-paced way to start things off.

The fight scenes are pretty creative as well. Once East finally gets their act together, Cyborg is able to put together some awfully strange attack patterns- for example, there's a fight where the twins dart over to a vat of lava, _run around on top of it for a while_, then move so quickly that the stuff follows them and slams into their opponent (I'm actually struggling to remember who they fought, here. Maybe it was the monster guy from the beginning?).

Speaking of fight scenes, the Cyborg clones are awesome. Their design is perfect- close enough to Cyborg to be creepy, but distinct enough to clearly be a brand new class of enemy. They never change their expression, and even when they're getting destroyed they somehow seem ominous.

The plot itself is another strong point. Blood plays the new team like fools, using the first fight to get the 'encryption key' to the Tower (**although I still don't get why he wants that at all, if he already has the team hypnotized**). But the pendulum swings the other way, when it turns out Cyborg planned ahead to the point where he has a program that will reset and randomize the encryptions whenever some crazy nonsense like this happens. I actually like this idea, because it suggests to me that he's learned from the several times the original Tower has been invaded.

Then, of course, the final twist. I was absolutely _shocked_. After Cyborg walks away from his team with the swagger of a legitimate Team Leader ("Y'all better get some rest. Combat practice starts at oh-six-hundred sharp!"), it's revealed that the other five members of East are all under Blood's red-eyes hypnosis. Again, I don't fully understand how that's possible, since they were just fighting him a minute ago, but it's still so unexpected that I'm impressed.

One last question, and not nearly as important as the others: What's the deal with Brother Blood? All school-puns aside ('Class is in session', 'You haven't studied', something about the battle being a pop quiz), why is his hypnosis strong enough to not only hoodwink Bumblebee now, but also to keep all the Titans acting perfectly normal? Why is he now physically strong enough to throw Cyborg? Why can he walk on water? BUT SERIOUSLY, HOW COME HE CAN WALK ON WATER.

Again, I'm not all that upset about these. Just fun to talk about, mostly.

[]

**Comedy Hour: **"When there's trouble, you know what to doooooo... CALL CYBORG! He can shoot a rocket from his shooooooe! 'CAUSE HE'S CYBORG!" Holy crap, the voice actor is having the time of his life with these lines. He's rocketing his voice up a couple octaves whenever Cyborg is particularly excited about the song.

-"Just because you glued the controller to my hands, doesn't mean I want to play." Raven then wedgies Beast Boy hardcore. And there are a couple moments in the ensuing conversation where she's trying really hard to magic the glued-controller away. Subtle, but funny.

-This Tower doesn't look like it's in a great position. It's behind a giant cliff, so no one can see it, and they can't see the city! Am I missing something?

-"Fish tacos? What were you thinking?! I'm from the ocean- these were probably friends of mine!" Aqualad and Speedy are clearly destined to be best friends/mortal enemies for all time.

-I didn't get exactly what M&amp;M say when they're making fun of Speedy, but it's something along the lines of "I am big hair. I am beautiful."

-Good God, I love these guys. "MAS Y MENOS, SI PODEMOS!" That's 'yes we can', if you're wondering. And they even made it rhyme. Your move, Bob the Builder.

-Somehow, Speedy ends up with a bucket of paint on his head, and also tripping over another bucket. So naturally, he accidentally shoots a gun at the rest of the room for a solid ten seconds.

-Bumblebee tries really hard to say something cool before fighting, but the rest of her team practically runs her over.

-Through horrible planning, Aqualad and Speedy's attacks end up hitting each other. They both have a PERFECT expression and shriek of horror before getting smacked.

-I particularly like the bit where they're fixing everything super-fast. Más and Menos in particular have some hilarious bits where they're like a tornado, and they run by and fix Speedy's hair while going past.

-A disco ball in the main room. Nice.

-I'm so glad the little guys love video games. They even do the excited-soccer-fan "GOOOOOOOL!"

-Bumblebee instructs everyone to split up, and the twins immediately hug each other and start crying.

-"..._Tamales verdes."_ 'Green beans'? That's their curse of choice?

-I am so freaking glad Más and Menos fight with tiny power tools.

-Bumblebee: "The REAL Cyborg couldn't take me! So you knockoffs don't stand a chance!" I don't have anything funny to say here. That's just true.

-Dang it, Blood, what did you THINK would happen if you scratched at a highly complex piece of technology on Cyborg's chest over and over? YOU'RE GONNA GET ZAPPED.

[]

So I guess, at the end of the day, I liked this episode even though I'm still kind of lost on a lot of things. Next up: 'Titans East, Pt. 2'.

I try to respond to each review with a message, but I want to give a **shout-out to all the guest reviewers** I can't send private messages to. You guys rock! (And I like the Starfire suggestion; I agree, I don't include her in the stories enough.) I really appreciate all the feedback. Thanks.


	40. Titans East, pt 2

Season 3, Episode 13

**Mentor  
**

[]

For Speedy, it was patience.

He hadn't expected that. Honestly, he thought he already knew what it meant. You couldn't rush the perfect shot, after all. And fighting from a distance often required accuracy more than impulsive hurry.

Besides, he already put up with Aqualad's lectures and the twins' constant yammering. That had to count for something, right?

But Cyborg had shown him something. Mainly, that he'd been thinking about patience all wrong. It wasn't about him at all.

It was about the team.

The first time he purposefully tried to rely on his teammates' actions, it was torture. He wanted nothing more than to rush in and start setting up his own strategies, almost automatically assuming that he couldn't afford to wait for Bumblebee's sneak attack. Against every instinct, he held himself back, just trying to remember what he'd learned from Cyborg.

_Then_ he moved in. _Then_ he struck.

It was shocking, really, to see the events play out- how perfectly the other Titans were working together, and how horribly his own attack would have failed had he tried to dash in and start the battle himself. If Speedy didn't know better, he'd say the feeling was humbling.

It was a lesson well taught, though. He would admit that much.

[]

For the twins, it was discipline.

..._Boring_.

Cyborg was- well, he was cool. Pretty much from the moment they met him, he was cool, and not just because of how strong he was. He _knew_ stuff, about the new Tower and machines and gadgets and all kinds of other junk, and he had a really loud laugh and made some wicked spaghetti and gave them high-fives even when he probably didn't understand what they just said. And yeah, he was really strong and awesome in fights.

But he brought discipline to the team. And that was lame.

They'd never really understood the insistence on the rules. Respect your teammates, be on time, don't skip out on training- what was the point of it all? Their abilities were based on _literally unbridled energy_, and Cyborg kept trying to bind them up in these stupid, repetitive exercises. They moved and fought quickly and freely. They didn't need anything tying them down.

The first problem with this logic showed up when they were separated in a battle.

It was Cyborg who had ended up saving the day. It was Cyborg who'd brought them back together, and it was Cyborg who gently (but with just a hint of I-told-you-so) reminded them that the whole purpose of training- the training that, often, they ignored altogether- was to prepare them for situations where they would have to think as quickly as they could run.

Ideas were formed. Exercises to retain focus, even in the middle of the fighting. Different ways of holding onto each other's hands, along with strategies and backup plans if they were separated again. Not immediately, but eventually, they understood. Being part of the Titans East meant sacrificing what they wanted for what they needed.

Maybe a little philosophical for a couple of kids. But hey, Cyborg had believed in them. And there was no way they were gonna let him down.

[]

For Aqualad, it was trust.

He hadn't spent all that much time with the Titans in Jump City, but he remembered a few missions. Cyborg hadn't been calling the shots, yet there was still something in the way they moved, the way they worked with each other. Something he didn't fully appreciate until much later.

Aerial and ground-based attacks, magic and electric and explosive blasts- the Titans didn't just land blows at the same time. They _complemented_ each other, somehow, building their individual powers into something greater than the sum. It made him wonder if the banter, between Cyborg and Beast Boy or even between Robin and their enemies, was actually meant to distract from what was really going on in each battle.

Of course, while he was a proficient fighter on his own, team dynamics were something new to him. He'd assumed, before, that the natural rhythm of the fight would come with time, but a couple of skirmishes fighting alongside Speedy changed his mind in a hurry. Strategies fell apart before they could start. Targets who should have been overwhelmed by coordinated attacks were, instead, somehow able to disrupt the team to the point that no one could remember the original plan.

It would be a mistake to say they only had one flaw. All the same, it really did stun him when he stopped to consider if he actually trusted his friends in the heat of battle. Or, at least, trusted them enough to realize when a direct assault, on his own, would do more harm than good. True, Mas and Menos were still pretty inexperienced. True, Speedy's attitude probably did them no favors, in or out of a fight. True, Bumblebee probably needed more time to really understand leadership-

Wait, were those things really true?

Was he covering potential blind spots, or was he using these worries to avoid placing his faith in the others when it mattered most? And could that be part of the reason they had such difficulty working together?

Cyborg never explicitly told him any life lessons about trust. But when he was helping them train, and working to bring down Brother Blood, and even just taking the time to get to know them, it was clear that he wanted them to have that kind of bond. The kind he had with the original Titans- an assurance that no matter how dangerous the situation, you could always count on your teammates having your back. If he was being honest, Aqualad had never really asked himself if he truly believed that.

It was tough, trying to bring that trust into the way he fought. But over time, the lesson started to sink in: they were a team, and they would win together or not at all.

And no matter how much Speedy LOOKED like he didn't know what he was doing...

[]

Leadership was the last lesson.

...She didn't understand it, though. Just a vague feeling that there was something she should have learned from him. But what? What could she learn from someone who, in the end, turned it down?

Maybe nothing. Maybe she was worrying too much about all of this. After all, he'd never told her any big secret about how to lead a team, and he even made a few mistakes.

She couldn't wrap up the whole experience with a bow, and distill it into a one-sentence motto to keep with her. Life didn't work like that. Neither did hero work, really. And Cyborg especially didn't work like that.

Wait.

She'd been wondering how to be a better leader, and what she could learn from Cyborg's stay in Steel City. But what if... he was the one who had learned something?

Near the end, just before he left, he'd been talking about what he needed to be strong. To feel like a real man. At the time, he'd said something about how he already had everything he needed, and he just hadn't realized it.

And then, when he was saying goodbye-

"And you already have a leader. You just need to listen to her!"

...Could the message be for her, too? If he'd learned that he didn't need some secret ingredient or outside influence to be his own man, maybe she could do something similar. And if the Titans East listened to her and respected her, what did she have to worry about?

Leading the team was a daunting task. Cyborg knew it, too- even when he'd rejected the offer, she could see the respect in his expression. But she could do it. No big mystery, no magic, no nothing. Just leading.

The Titans East trusted each other. They were willing to work together, taking the time to become stronger and help her along the way. And Cyborg's training program carried over long after he was gone. All the pieces were in place, and they were ready.

This team was going to do great things. Bumblebee knew it.

[]

[]

[]

(Scrapped ideas: anything involving **Cyborg's point of view**, or the **Titans East team getting brainwashed**. I couldn't come up with a single good outline, and it's frustrating because I know those two things- Cyborg in particular- were absolutely vital to this episode!)

[]

Here's a summary of my mood right now. I am pretty happy, kinda tired, and also dissatisfied-with-the-brevity-and-simplicity-of-this-update-but-mostly-still-freaking-out-over-how-amazing-the-season-finale-was. That is an emotion. It's kinda subjective.

_Where do I even start, people?_ I know I got a few warnings that I might not like this one, but I have no idea why. Personally, I think the finales from the first two seasons might have packed more of an emotional punch, but this one had an unending list of specific scenes that just got better and better. I can think of half a dozen moments where I gasped, laughed out loud, or thought to myself, "Yes! That's so much better than anything I could have guessed!"

We're talking plot twists, we're talking action, we're talking character development up the wazoo. What's there to dislike about this?

(Before I jump in- I'd like to point out that all three of my major questions from last time were answered. In particular, a couple reviews pointed out that Blood probably just hypnotized the TE crew near the end of the battle, when they disappeared for a while. Kind of obvious, but I needed a little help to make the connection. Thanks again, guys.)

First up, action. The first fight scene is a little weird, at first- for some reason, the brainwashed Titans East crew decide a spaghetti feed is the best time for them to drop the act and attack Cyborg. But it quickly gets better, for two reasons: the setting and the stakes. The interior of the East Tower is freaking awesome, especially as a battlefield! It's similar to the old Tower, but the main room has giant pools of water on the ground floor, and a multi-leveled catwalks-and-balconies thing going on. It looks cool, and it really lends itself well to a chaotic and confusing fight scene.

And the stakes? Well, I can't say the Titans East are actually trying to kill Cyborg, since Blood needs him later, but the fight is hardcore. Aqualad tries to choke him underwater at one point, and shortly after, Cyborg pleads with him to snap out of it, insisting that they're friends. His response? "I don't care." Cue the barrage of water pouring out of the walls.

It's pretty fantastic.

But that's nothing compared to the other major fight scene. About halfway or two-thirds through this episode, the Titans (original flavor) show up to save the day, messing up Blood's plans. The East team are still hypnotized. The two groups stare each other down. And I'm pretty sure I audibly squealed, because I realized that I was about to see a Titans-vs.-East fight.

IT'S AMAZING. After a solid four or five shots of buildup, just them glaring at each other from weird and epic angles, we get one of the most insane and complex battles I've ever seen. Even the fights against the H.I.V.E. kids weren't quite this crazy, because there were fewer people, and we didn't know as much about them as we do these guys. To make it even better, it's one of those deals where they're all fighting someone at first, but have to switch it up and help each other in order to win. And yeah, Cyborg orchestrates the whole thing. That's gratifying, right there. (And Beast Boy defeats Bumblebee by being a frog.)

The end is partially an action scene, too, with two unforgettable moments. First, Blood SEVERS ALL OF CYBORG'S LIMBS (after which he has the gall to say, "Don't fall to pieces!"). But at the end, once Cyborg has won, we get the line to end all catchphrases: a quiet, reserved "Booyeah." It's perfect.

Next, plot. From the very first scene (which ends with Blood saying, "Isn't that right... Professor Chang?"), this episode has one of the most interesting storylines I can remember. We start with the Titans back at home, reacting to Cyborg's decision, but we also see Blood's plan start into motion. A few excellent callbacks are thrown in, such as Bumblebee resisting the mind-control slightly more than the others, and then we move on to the main plot twist.

Brother Blood is now a cyborg. Not only that, but his powers are stronger, and he's going to take Cyborg apart (just like that one robot in season one!) to figure out what makes him so strong, then use that to make all the Titans East into unstoppable half-robot mind-slaves.

I'm pretty sure I actually swore out loud when he first stepped into the light, metal plates and red machinery stuck in his skull. That was amazing. And the plan makes sense, too! It's really awesome that they tied up the thing from earlier in the season about Cyborg's blueprints being stolen, and built in a pretty convincing villain-scheme to boot. That's legitimately creepy, and it's the perfect time for the rest of our heroes to show up. I don't think I've ever been happier to see the Titans- or, specifically, to see a giant green lion tackle Brother Blood out of nowhere.

Finally, characters. This episode didn't quit, guys. Every time I blinked, it seemed like someone was learning a lesson about themselves or going through an emotional decision. (But before the more complicated stuff, a note about Starfire. There's a scene where the Titans are momentarily trapped in a big metal box, and Cyborg is restrained by shackles. After an abrupt scene transition, Starfire rips the metal out of the wall to free him. For some reason, that stuck with me- it made me realize that the Titans must have looked at each other, and unanimously agreed that Starfire was the strongest, so she should rip the chains away. Has this little detail- Starfire being a total boss of physical strength, more so than the other heroes- surprised anyone else? I'm not even sure why I keep forgetting it. Maybe my subconscious is pretty sexist.)

The opening scene, even before the theme song, was gold. Robin actually takes the news really well, at first, starting a calm and rational discussion about why Cyborg is doing this. He even stays professional, talking about the loss in terms of how it will affect the team. But then he says this:

"And I know a thing or two about being obsessed with your target. Look, I just worry about what you're getting yourself into." And just like that, Robin is more self-aware and insightful than I've ever given him credit for.

But Cyborg glares up at the screen, clearly remembering everything that happened with Slade, and still remarks, "You think I can't handle it."

The conversation devolves into shouting, but with painful and accurate darts. Robin accuses Cyborg of dodging his responsibility to the team, and Cyborg tells him he doesn't have to listen to him anymore. These are callbacks to the first goshdang episode of the first goshdang season, when they had that big argument! Suddenly, I realized that these AREN'T issues that sprang out of nowhere, and Cyborg DOES have precedent for making the decision. But of course, Robin also has a reason to be angry.

I was hesitantly optimistic after 'Part 1', but after that one single conversation, I was 100% on board with this one.

But that's only the beginning- we also see the rest of the Titans. Turns out, I misjudged their reactions pretty badly, because they're all pretty calm. Depressed, but calm. And how difficult must it be for Robin to switch sides, and say that Cyborg can take care of himself? That this is a good opportunity for him? And especially, that they have to let him go, even if they miss him... Dang.

And then Starfire chimes in, "But Robin, if we are not there- who will make sure that he is... safe?" And my heart officially checks out, so I don't have to have emotions or feelings any more. With shows like this around, it's just safer that way.

Get this, though: when Cyborg messes up, and the others save him, the character stuff gets even heavier. Robin isn't proved exactly right. "You tell me. If anyone's going to know how to stop Blood, it's you. This is your enemy, your technology, your mission. The team is yours to lead." I _love_ this show.

The end of the episode is pretty great, too. Cyborg talks about how he thought he needed all this stuff- a new team, a position of leadership, the approval of others- but it turns out, he really didn't. On its own, that's a good moral, but he slips one other example into that list: his own skin. I didn't put it together until later, but I realized that could be another reference, this time to the first episode of the season, when he was going undercover as a 'normal' guy. These current situations really are connecting to his past.

[]

It's time for everyone's favorite brand-new segment of the chapter: THEORY TIME! (Keep in mind, these might be dead-wrong and completely stupid, or they might be correct, but super obvious to everyone. Both possibilities are on the table.)

Today's question: **What exactly happened at the end, when Cyborg defeated Brother Blood? **

If you don't remember, Blood tries to rip through Cyborg's circuitry to find out why he's so mentally strong. It doesn't work, Cyborg is surrounded by a weird glow and gets his limbs back, and Blood's power is broken, releasing the trapped Titans. I really didn't understand this when I watched it. The more I thought about it, though, a few possibilities came to mind, and I think I have decent arguments for both of them. So here we go.

-Theory 1: **Cyborg himself is the crux of the event**. After all, how DID he resist the mind control? Well, he says it has something do with his 'spirit' being stronger than the circuitry inside him, implying that his mental fortitude is strong enough to resist Blood. That's great, but what about people like Bumblebee and Aqualad? Are they just 'not strong enough'? I think there's more to it. In fact, I think it has to do with that final conversation, when Cyborg says that he's learned he doesn't need anything else to be his own man. To be strong. If he had that realization right when Blood was trying to break him, that could be the trigger for the strange event. And why would Cyborg's _mind_ be the thing that defeats Blood?

This will probably be a stretch, but after the fight, Beast Boy asks Cyborg if he's "magic now or something". It's funny, but it made me pause- after all, we know from Raven and Mumbo that magic is very real in this world. What's more, we know it's often connected to someone's mental state. Did Cyborg's revelation actually cause a supernatural event to take place?

-Theory 2: **The event is actually Blood's fault**. This one's a little weirder. In response to Beast Boy's question, Cyborg says this: "Blood was trying so hard to hack into my brain, I guess I sorta hacked into his." I don't think this is just a throwaway line. Maybe, Blood was so frustrated and out of control that his powers backfired horribly. His telepathy was already a strange combination of science and magic, and it might be going through a kind of reversal. Why would this give Cyborg an otherworldly power? I think it might be because Blood's magic attack- specifically, that red laser blasty attack thing- is what he used to cut off Cyborg's limbs. We can probably assume that it's the same magic he used to create all the robots in the first place, right?

...Well, after The Event happens, and Cyborg starts glowing, the robots dissolve completely as his limbs and machinery return to their original state. In other words, both things that Blood's magic accomplished are being undone, at the very moment that he fails to break Cyborg. Coincidence?

**What do you guys think?**

[]

**Funny** **stuff**: They actually get a joke out of the shock of Cyborg leaving. "Then who will shout the 'Booyeah' when we are victorious in battle?" "Who's gonna laugh when I make fun of Beast Boy?" "YEAH! And who's gonna _beat me at video games and fall for my practical jokes and shoot spitballs at the back of my head and watch dumb movies with me and barf when I feed him tofu?!_"

-Mas and Menos absolutely lose their minds over this spaghetti. "Carne con carne CON CARNE!" "No puede creerlo!" And then they faint.

-I will never get tired of arrows that explode into giant boxing gloves.

-Brother Blood, on his new robo-surgery: "Or are you just jealous that it looks better on me?"

-Robin tells Blood that he doesn't look so good, and Beast Boy agrees; it seems like he's about to make a sarcastic quip, but instead: "Yeah... does that stuff get cable, or-" Of course, Blood screams "SILENCE!" and immediately shoots them with a laser.

-After Cyborg is rescued: "I'm not hurt. But I'm a long way from okay." I'm practically sobbing at this point in the story, so YOU AND ME BOTH, BUDDY.

-The robots can't see in UV light or something, so the Titans walk through them unopposed. It's very tense and stealthy. Except Beast Boy is making faces at them the whole time.

-Can someone explain this line from Raven to Cyborg, after the Titans stealthily sneak past some bots: "So, when they made you, I guess they didn't break the mold." What does that even mean? The robots came way later, right?

-This one's my fault. When Blood fistfights Cyborg, the color difference in their robotics is really highlighted, so the glowing red and blue stands out a lot. It... it kinda looks like Star Wars. I actually couldn't stop noticing that.

-Beast Boy fights the twins as a skunk, and it's genius. Why has he never used that in a fight before?

-Starfire hits Bee with a ridiculous green-sun exploding attack. "I am hopeful that when this is over we will still be friends!"

-Cyborg, to Brother Blood: "You can take your offer and blow it out your-" "INSOLENT CHILD!"

-Blood's gasp when Cyborg's limbs come back is a thing of beauty. He sounds like a dying carp.

-"So... are you, like, magic now?" Oh, Beast Boy. Never let the drama and intensity of a situation get to you.

-The twins love Starfire (and didn't Aqualad have a crush on her at one point, too? I can't remember), and they start fighting over her. I've NEVER seen them fight. And they don't have any words or phrases, so it's just them angrily making noise at each other and rolling around in a dust cloud.

-What the heck? Beast Boy is flying some weird orange plane-thing! Where'd they get a plane?

[]

Whew! Another whole season down, and it only took... two and a half months?

...Wow. The sad thing is, that's actually faster than I got through the other two, I think.

Anyway, here's the plan going forward: **I'm going to take a week off**, during which I'll be working on the second installment of 'Hemlock and Mutineers'. By next Monday, whether I've finished the chapter or not, I will start working on Season 4. (I'm pretty sure the first one's called '_Don't Touch That Dial_', but there seems to be some confusion over the official name? I don't know.)

Oh, and a Season 3 recap should show up at some point.

Thanks again to all you beautiful people. I'm having way more fun than I deserve to over here.

Later, dorks.


	41. RECAP SEASON 3

Season 3, Episode 1: '**Deception- **Cyborg goes to the H.I.V.E. Academy and basically _Mean Girls_ it up until everyone likes him. Also he builds a robot clone and starts a battle between two groups of dangerous superhumans that ends up destroying an entire building. So, obviously, _Mean Girls_ again.

3-2: '**X**'- The Titans try to uncover Red X's most prized secret: why, exactly, he's so much cooler than Robin.

3-3: '**Betrothed- ***_Robin is protective of Starfire_* "Gee, I wonder if he likes her?" *_Robin saves Starfire numerous times, and vice versa_* "They must be really good friends!" *_Robins spends a lot of time alone with her, has deep and meaningful conversations_* "Maybe they're starting to be more than friends?" *_Robin buys a ring_* "Wow, I wonder!" *_Robin straight-up marries Starfire, starts a family_* "HM, TECHNICALLY NOT CONFIRMED, WHO CAN REALLY SAY FOR SURE?!"

3-4: '**Crash**'- "Huh, that's weird. It looks like there's some corrupt data in my neural interfacjelijg wnborugowofBNJVCXOE**WMAAAGH Food jokes. Nothing but food jokes until the end of time**."

3-5: '**Haunted**'- Robin makes a series of rational and well-thought-out choices.

3-6: '**Spellbound**'- Hey, I just got it. 'Bound' like a book, but it also works because the book has actual magic spells... And she's even 'spellbound' by his charm and stuff... But he's also 'spellbound' literally from a spell... _and he's even 'bound' because he's trapped in the book! _Geez, how deep does this go? I mean, it's _bound_ to end eventually, right?

3-7: '**Revolution**'- BACK WI' A VENGEANCE, ME DUCKIES.

3-8: '**Wavelength**'- Brother Blood tries to build a school at the bottom of the ocean. It, uh, goes about as well as you'd expect.

3-9: '**The Beast Within**'- _Sorry, no jokes, too busy questioning the meaning of life and the human condition and what people are capable of doing to protect their friends, good God_

3-10: '**Can I Keep Him?**'- No.

3-11: '**Bunny Raven, or How to Make a Titanimal Disappear**'- The Titans are invited into a hat, Beast Boy turns into a decorative lamp, some disembodied hands sing a musical number, and Mumbo's subconscious throws tomatoes at himself. Couldn't make it up if I tried, people.

3-12: '**Titans East, pt. 1**'- A new Titans team lures Cyborg away with the promise of better college sports than the West Coast. (Back in California, Robin broods in front of a USC flag and whispers to himself, "_Shots fired_.")

3-13: '**Titans East, pt. 2**'- "I thought I had to be a leader. Turns out, what I really needed was inside me all along." "So... laser cannons?" "Laser cannons."

[]

A'ight, off to go watch the first episode. 'Don't Touch That Dial', I think it's called. (And yes, pretty much everyone has already told me about a certain lovable nerd who's going to feature prominently. I'm excited.)

In other news: haha, good _Lord_, you guys, I can't believe I honestly thought I could finish part 2 of Hemlock in, like, five days. I am _nowhere near_ done with that pile of nonsense. It's actually kind of embarrassing. Here's a typical picture of my writing process:

-Stare at a document that just says, "Beast Boy point-of-view. Conversation. Yells at Robin. Robin yells at Beast Boy. End scene."

-Get distracted by a myriad of Youtube videos, every time swearing, "This'll totally be the last one."

-Do half a page or so of real work, then get stuck, stall, watch more videos, spend an hour trying to find 'good writing music', then crash around 3:00 A.M. or so because I didn't get anything done during the day itself.

**Writing is easy and carefree, everybody, for real.**

On a happier note, I want to once more thank all the guest reviewers! (If you're logged in, hopefully I'm remembering to send you a personal thank-you each time.) Particularly, TheCrossroadsKid, who left like two dozen individual reviews- thanks a ton, dude! (Or lady. I dunno.) I love hearing tidbits about the show, and the characters, and some of the background stuff. Major props!

That's all for me. I hope at least one of these stupid jokes gave you _some_ measure of joy.

Later, dorks!


	42. Don't Touch That Dial

Season 4, Episode 1

**Tech Support  
**

[]

EVERY STORY BEGINS WITH A-

_...wait, hold on. Something's wrong with the feed- never should have trusted the tech at this stupid prison, _of course_ the webcam's gonna have problems with the video capture. Live-streaming out of an underground cell surrounded by eight inches of reinforced concrete shouldn't be this complicated. Amateurs.  
_

Ah. There we go.

*ahem*

EVERY STORY BEG- *cough*- EVERY STORY BEGINS WITH A TRAGEDY. And real evil- true evil- is born from pain. Do you hear me? UNIMAGINABLE PAIN. Dark backstories and horrific tragedies that cause the best and the brightest to take REVENGE on the world that _so wrongly_ shut them out!

_"They were afraid of me. They said I was crazy! BUT I'LL SHOW THEM. I'LL SHOW THEM ALL! BWAHAHAHAHAHA-"_

Oh. Oops. Sorry, that was- I had another tab open. That was the villain's opening monologue from _Planet Smashers 3_. I was, uh, I was watching it to- to get inspiration for... DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT!

Imagine, if your puny brains can comprehend it, a scene such as this. A young boy spends his days watching movies and tinkering with machines, becoming an avid fan of science fiction as well as a master of all electronics. And this child- this innocent, impressionable child of twenty-seven- is watching a video in the special features menu of the DVD Remastered Edition of _Robo-Ninjas from the Crypt_. Suddenly, AND WITHOUT WARNING, he hears these words, _from the director of the film_, in an exclusive behind-the-scenes interview.

"But at the end of the day, it's just for fun, you know? I mean, nobody's going to take this too seriously. It's not like the technology could really exist or anything."

...

How.

DARE.

YOU?!

_Obviously_, there are three unforgivable atrocities in those words. First of all, that anyone would ever suggest one of the vaunted standards of classic science fiction isn't SERIOUS. Second, that the man who should have the most appreciation and understanding of his own fanbase CLEARLY HAS NONE. And finally, that he who oversaw one of the most influential pieces of experimental science in film history- the remote-control technology that the heroes use to save the world from undead ninja cyborgs- has such a SHALLOW AND LIMITED VIEW OF THE LATENT POTENTIAL IN HIS OWN CREATION.

But this is not the end of the story. There is GOOD to be found in this despicable display. Because this... is where MY story begins!

It wasn't easy. It didn't happen quickly, or without problems. But I learned, and I studied, and I developed the world's first UNIVERSAL REMOTE! And then, I-

_...Wait. That's taken. Um... All-Powerful Device? Mega Controller? Ultimate, uh, Signal... Maker..._

...I'll give it a name later. The point is, I now had in my possession a machine that would let me rule the city, with its machines and electricity at my side! And with these AWESOME POWERS-

*ping*

...

Oh. That- that's another tab again. Sorry, I'll just get out of...

_...Hm. 'Test Your Knowledge of the original Wing-Man trilogy'? Please. These stupid quizzes are nothing but cheap grabs at attention, hoping people will get tricked into visiting useless websites full of..._

_..._

_'Only 2% of REAL fans will get them all right!'_

_Oh, it is ON._

...

Wait. No! I can't get distracted at a time like this! I'm in the middle of explaining that, uh...

...What was I talking about?

DOESN'T MATTER. Because I have news for you, citizens of Jump City. Once I'm finally out of here, I have plans. BIG PLANS. And no one's going to stop me this time!

So where will I strike next, you ask? What nefarious and diabolical schemes will the great CONTROL FREAK unleash on this unsuspecting city? Well, keep an eye on the news.

OR ANY OTHER CHANNEL.

AHAHAHAHAHA! AHAHA- Wait. The guard's coming. It's probably against prison rules to construct a homemade computer and webcam out of nothing but a broken vending machine and an incandescent light bulb.

Well, that's all for now, _friends!_ But don't worry- you'll be seeing me again very shorty!

...

Shortly! _I said 'shortly'! _

...

I'M NOT SHORT.

[]

[]

[]

Scrapped idea: Semi-serious look at CF's backstory, or at least something in his past, like I did with Mumbo and Gizmo way back in the day. Didn't think it would fit the tone of the character or this episode as a whole. Got me thinking, though: do you guys know of **any fic at all**, on the entire website (or elsewhere), **that tries to make CF into a serious character?** Like, one that dedicates time into making him a more complex and possibly even understandable person? Just curious. I've seen ones that do a decent job of that for goofy side-characters in other fandoms, so I've just been wondering.

[]

Guys, I wanted to start this season with a big, epic story. Or, failing that, something really incredibly funny. But... I just couldn't. Seriously, where do you even GO with an episode like this? I was completely lost. So have a goofy backstory for CF in the vein of Mumbo's failed magic shows, or Gizmo's first day at school- except without any pretense of being even slightly serious.

More to the point: this is the weirdest season opener of any show I've ever seen.

It's _all jokes_. Nothing else. Too many to write down. I... I don't know, I guess that shouldn't have been all that surprising? But it really was. The first season started with Cyborg quitting the team. The second, Starfire seeing an alternate future where the team had completely fallen apart. Third, Cyborg going undercover to bring down the H.I.V.E. And now, this.

But after I got over the shock, this was really funny. Each plot point built on the others, the way a good comedy bit should. Control Freak escapes to the TV land? Funny. The Titans following him? Funnier. Relying on Beast Boy's knowledge of television- both specific shows and mundane things like the Guide channel and emergency broadcast screens- to save the day? That's a perfect ending, right there.

(Side note: I was pretty sure this was supposed to be called 'Don't Touch That Dial', but the episode opened with the name 'Episode 297-404'. What's going on there?)

Here's something I kept thinking about, and it bugged me (not really bugged me, but more thought-it-was-kinda-funny 'bugged me') last time Control Freak showed up too. Is he actually doing anything illegal? Last time, he barged into a video store and demanded that a certain movie be put on a 'favorites list', then started making machines dance around. This time, he's... on TV. Granted, he's on every channel and that could get kind of annoying. But... arrest-worthy?

...I, um, don't really have a lot more to say. That's pretty much it. No fascinating character studies, no particularly amazing scenes. Still fun, but not in a '_sweet Lord almighty you HAVE to watch this one again_' kind of way.

Time to read **jokes** that lose most if not all of their comedic timing when transferred to text! Hooray!

-Oh, that opening. Do you remember it? Just a static-y screen, that slowly flickers and blinks until Control Freak's ecstatic face appears and monologues about taking over everyone's television. Glorious.

-"PRESS ONLY FOR EMERGENCIES. **THIS MEANS YOU, BEAST BOY**." The note has Robin's signature 'R' on it and everything. So not only does Beast Boy trip the alarm for a goofy reason, but he's _done it before_.

-I... somehow almost forgot about Silky? But here he is, on a walk while Starfire jaunts along in a happy green summery hat.

-Beast Boy has a LEGENDARY rant when he tries to explain what's going on. The reruns he was watching, the sudden appearance of CF's face, a blue dot and a loud 'beep'- every single element is explained in great detail, with enough movement to qualify as an interpretive dance.

-"Welcome back to Bass Nabbers!" This was the first hint that there were gonna be a lot of hilarious fake-TV setups.

-Cyborg asks when he last WASN'T watching TV- "Uh, I think I went to the movies three weeks ago?" Starfire interrupts, tells him that he actually watched a show ABOUT a guy watching a movie. "Oh, yeah. ...that was _coooool_."

-"Control Freak has been spotted on more than a dozen TV screens in the last half hour!" Okay, hold up. That's... that's ABYSMALLY bad for someone who was trying to hack every single TV in the city, right? I mean, don't get me wrong, I love this guy- but that's pretty pathetic, yeah?

-I absolutely love how everything on TV is its own pseudo-magic dimension. Even game shows, which are taped in real buildings with real people, somehow become part of this craziness. Try makin' sense of that!

-The soap opera is nothing short of perfection. "But Rebecca... I am still in love with your evil reincarnated half-sister!" "OH, JOACHIM!"

-"The Control Freak is a... _dork_, yes?" I'm not arguing, but geez, where did that come from? When has Starfire taken shots at ANYONE'S personality?

-"Well, that's one way to break into television." Raven slowly turning into Beast Boy over here. Uh-oh.

-This trivia show is called Quiz Monkey. And there's a 'Boo-Yah!' energy drink. In fact, a solid half of these jokes are just gonna be references, parodies, and quotes. Warning you now.

-"I am great! You are great! And- OOF!" A happy kid's show with singing animals gets absolutely demolished by Titans and monsters. Yikes.

-What's that show that dumped slime on people's heads? _Nickelodeon_ _Guts_? I think that might be it. Anyway, that gets a reference here too.

-There's Wile E. Coyote and Road Runner. As in, Beast Boy is literally the design of Wile E. Coyote. I guess they're both Cartoon Network, so we're cool copyright-wise, but... it's still really bizarre to see.

-The scene making fun of traditional monster movies is spot-on. The spooky swamp, the mist, the over-the-top music... it's all good.

-Here's the reason CF is collecting all the TV bad guys, in his own words: because it's '_So... cool!_' I kinda feel bad for him. Like, this is the one thing he loves, and he's convinced it'll get him respect. That's a little sad.

-Did... did a blonde Australian just force Robin into a ski-stunt competition with sharks?

-"Oh, Lance! I didn't mean to make you fall madly in love with me!" Before he argues and gets outta there, Cyborg just kinda stands there for a minute, completely lost. Understandable.

-Raven catches a football. "...Nice." Immediately gets tackled by a dozen players.

-Did they just use the colored bars of that 'no signal' screen to FIGHT WITH? That's awesome!

-"Totally! Uh, I mean- Gee whiz, Mom! That'd be KEEN!" Beast Boy, in a 50's sitcom, trying to replace his usual slang with a new kind. I love it.

-His sitcom-life immediately gets trashed by giant robots. "JEEPERS!"

-The ad for 'Zinthos' is hilarious, both because of the random references to meditating and Raven's powers, and also because the whole time, the Titans are fighting at the bottom of the screen. No epic music or anything- just an infomercial guy's voice droning on and on.

-Beast Boy gets a giant hat. I don't even remember why.

-"I know kung fu. Whoa." That's not just a Matrix quote- _that's a Matrix quote that's specifically making fun of Keanu Reeves!_ Where the heck did that come from?

-"Hasta la vista, Titans!" The Schwarzenegger impression is not Control Freak's best. Oof.

-"And when ze chocolate has melted, we add ze snails." Why is this making me laugh so hard? Also, the French chef immediately starts waving a white flag. Dang, that's kind of harsh.

-When it switched to real footage, I almost jumped. That was not expected at all.

-The revelation that TV is literally going to mess with people's minds is hilarious. After all, as the show points out, we've always been told it'll rot our brains...

-Robin interrupts the broadcast, trying to get people to stop watching... on the channel that just happened to feature a guy about to solve world peace.

-Beast Boy explains that, because of all the shenanigans happening, people won't STOP watching now. It's ratings gold. That's funny.

-"I've wasted my whole life in front of the tube! And it's about to pay off. Come on!" That is a twist I didn't see coming. Awesome.

-First, we get an old-timey Batman transition, and then the Titans are literally in the TV Guide channel. Like, they're watching the numbers scroll past and everything.

-"Five hundred channels!" "...And still nothing on." That's funny on its own, but when the names are going past, turns out 'Nothing' is actually a show. And it's always on.

-This last scene couldn't be more _Star Wars_ if it tried. Wow.

-"Hey, I remember this scene! We're in the first episode of season four." WELL, AREN'T YOU PROUD OF YOUR META-JOKE SKILLS, CYBORG.

-Beast Boy swipes Raven's cape and tries to Jedi-mind-trick the bad guys. It does not work.

-"There can be only one!" Highlander, I think? All the references are getting tough to keep track of.

-Beast Boy banishes Control Freak through magic or something, but not before he screeches, "This is MY world! I'm cool here!" That's just about the saddest thing I ever heard.

-Wait a minute. How DID they get back? They just said they don't know how!

-"So, there really isn't a lesson here?" "Yup! It was all completely meaningless." End-of-the-episode laughs for everybody. And Cyborg has that soap-opera lady on his arm. In the real world.

[]

Next up: 'The Quest'. Sounds intriguing. And I'm pretty excited to see where the rest of the episodes go, since a few people have told me that Season 4 gets CRAZY dark.

(Here's the plan going forward: **I really want to try to finish Season 4 by the end of August**. I'm going to be out of the country for about three months after that, and I might not have Internet access at all- so right now, I'm counting on taking a break from 'When There's Trouble' until December, when I'll get to work on Season 5. I really am sorry about that, but I don't see any way around it. For now, though, expect updates every four or five days? Maybe quicker than that, if I'm going to meet the end-of-summer deadline.)

Later, dorks!


	43. The Quest

Season 4, Episode 2

**Summit  
**

[]

Dusk. From this elevation, and so far from any light pollution, he could see the stars beginning to shine, even with the pale blue light of evening still covering most of the sky. The sun had set, leaving only a faintly mottled-orange glow over the western horizon.

If he asked, he knew what she'd say.

Robin leaned against the railing of the temple. A short distance away from the building, the Master sat on one of the fighting arena's upturned stones, back straight and eyes closed. He had no doubt she was awake and alert. And if he gave voice to what he was thinking, she would turn, half-raising one eyebrow. Then she would give him an response, and it wouldn't be clear. He would have to decide what to do with it.

There was no avoiding it, though. Sighing, standing up straight, he tried to ignore the feeling that she had already won. "Am I ready?"

He didn't have to elaborate. Still not looking at him, the Master nodded. "...Yes."

...

Well, then.

It was as if she knew what he expected. Giving a straight answer simply because he hadn't been ready for it. He really couldn't predict her at all, he supposed.

His footsteps creaked over the wooden steps, until he was back on the stone ground of the mountaintop. "Thank you," Robin said quietly. He gave the customary bow, hands folded together in front of him.

The Master dipped her head in response. "I should thank you, as well."

"What?" He frowned. "Why?"

Eyes open now, she smiled wider. "I told you- few reach the top of the mountain." Barking a short laugh, she shifted forward, placing her feet on the ground. "It's always more interesting when someone does."

It didn't seem appropriate to laugh, so he allowed himself a smirk. The Master shuffled towards him, relying on her staff, even though she hadn't seemed to need it during the training. When she was only a few feet away, she stopped. "Good luck."

Once again, he bowed. "There aren't many teachers like you."

"Many?"

"I can think of one."

"Hm." The staff whipped up quickly, lightly striking the top of his head. "There will always be teachers. Those who are willing to learn are harder to find."

That was, possibly, the nicest thing she'd said to him all day. Or... was it a subtle jab at his impatience? He wasn't sure. Rubbing at his hair, he sighed. "Well, I..."

Robin trailed off when he saw the Master had walked away from him, gazing over the training area. Her back to him, framed by the twilight, she almost seemed to be a part of the mountain itself.

Perhaps there was nothing more to say.

Even though she couldn't see him, he bowed again. Then, turning, he started down the pathway that led back to the village.

[]

[]

[]

**Robins  
**

[]

"Titans, G-"

"What? No way, man, we agreed I was gonna say it!"

"Shut up, B, I'm about to-"

"GO TITANS!"

_"Star, I was this close!"_

"All right, dude, _fine_. Just say it already."

Cyborg beamed with pride. "Thank you. Now... TITANS-"

A punch to the head interrupted him, sending him reeling. "Ack!"

Their targets, a group of four robots of varying sizes, were already on the move. Two headed towards Beast Boy, their featureless metal heads turning as if to track him, while another attempted to follow Starfire's movements. The last had just assaulted Cyborg, and was now gearing up for another punch, when he looked up with a determined glare. "Oh, no you don't!"

He dodged the arm as it swung, and gave a punch of his own to knock the robot back several yards. "Booyeah!" he crowed, then paused. "No, wait. What does he usually say? Like, some kinda joke?"

Starfire's eyes lit up, though it was difficult to tell behind the mask. "Oh, yes! For instance, um... 'Sorry, robots, but... but _you're scrap!'"_

"I like it!" Cyborg grinned, then focused his attention on the fight. "Alright. Gotta rig up a strategy here. Star, keep that one busy, but try to fly around the others so they get mixed up. Beast Boy, let's-" Pausing, he raised his eyebrows. "Uh, Beast Boy?"

"This-" A twenty-yard length of wire shot out, bouncing harmlessly off one robot while missing another completely.

"-is-" One of Robin's birdarangs flew next, sailing past the android's head.

"-so-" Heavy smog began rising, the result of a randomly thrown smoke bomb.

"-COOL!" Finally, a sizeable explosion threw both robots back, clearing the air and allowing Cyborg to see what was going on. Beast Boy was rifling through the weapons on his belt, throwing them forward without any kind of pattern to his attacks.

"Beast Boy!"

"Huh?" He paused briefly, then threw another blast disc for good measure.

"Just hang on, okay?" Cyborg gritted his teeth. "Right now, what would Robin do?"

"If your brains are computers, then process this!"

He did his best to ignore Starfire's shout, as well as the blast of green energy from her direction. "He'd use his brain. So let's figure out a plan, using timing and a combination of our unique skills and BEAST BOY."

The Titan in question blinked innocently, pointedly looking at Cyborg instead of the half-dozen smoke bombs, two birdarangs, and three bombs in his hand. "What?"

"You surely- uh, you surely _ro-botched_ this fight!"

Before Cyborg could say anything, Beast Boy turned towards the most recent quip, alarmed. "Whoa, no. No. That's my thing! Robin's puns are more... geez, it's kind of hard to explain."

"Huh?" With a confused glance, Starfire turned away from the robots, which she had already destroyed completely. "But Robin is always saying the puns in battle!"

"Well, yeah, but- he doesn't just mix words together, you know? There's a difference. Mine and his, they're..." Struggling to find the right words, he turned to Cyborg. "There's a difference, right? I just can't quite explain it."

Cyborg sighed, then gave up. "Yeah. Yeah, there's a difference."

Without warning, the enemies vanished from their place on the ground. Even as the Titans watched, the entire area around them dissolved, slowly becoming the simulation room of the Titans Tower. Near the exit, with one hand on the controls, Raven gave a flat stare. "I think that's enough for one day."

"Aw, come on!" Beast Boy whined. "We were just getting warmed up!"

"Actually, I think you proved why none of us should ever try to be Robin."

[]

[]

[]

...

I don't like it.

...

I know, right? I'm surprised too.

To clarify: I still don't think there are any 'bad' episodes. I'm definitely glad I watched 'The Quest', because it's part of the show, it had a lot of great moments, and I'm having fun talking about it. But on the whole, this was... I don't know. Let's just say I'm not a fan.

Actually, I take that back. 'I don't like it' isn't really fair. More like... I don't _get_ it.

Ignoring the comedic sideplot about the rest of the team stealing Robin's spare uniforms (because as far as I'm concerned, those scenes are national freaking treasures, and I will never say a bad word about them), I have a few, um, _concerns_ about the main story here. Robin's journey to learn from the Master.

...What was the point?

I genuinely want to know what you guys think about this. Robin gets out-ninja-ed, then treks across the world to better his martial arts skills, and everything is set up to imply that he's going to learn something about himself, or fighting, or _something_. In the quest itself, he has to climb this mountain, all the while defeating guardians and deciphering cryptic advice from this old lady (who turns out to be the Master he was looking for all along).

Here's my first issue: there are specific things Robin has to learn on this journey. Fighting techniques play a big part, since to get past the bear, and the snake, and the monkey, he has to learn new ways of fighting. That's what the dialogue makes it sound like, anyway. Each presents a problem: the bear is ridiculously bulky and heavy, the snake fights in a pitch-black and echoing chamber, and the monkey's dexterity and agility make it a terror in the forest of bamboo shoots (which is an _awesome_ fight scene, by the way. Credit where it's due.)

So you'd think he has to discover something new to win, right? Not really. He just sort of... wins. When he finally bests the bear, he doesn't try anything differently- he just throws him off the bridge. And when he can't use his sight or hearing to locate the snake, he just_ suddenly, magically, knows where it is anyway. _That's kind of frustrating!

And other parts of the quest don't make sense either. Besides the numerous times the old lady shows up to tell robin something mysterious, aggravating him to no end, there's a random moment where she has him carry water for no reason. There's a hint that _maybe_, it's supposed to teach him a lesson in patience, and I would be on board with that... except for one problem.

There are _two other morals_ in this episode. Two more things Robin is specifically told, numerous times. So we already have a triple-jumble of lessons to take away, but what's even more confusing is the morals themselves:

-"Don't take yourself so seriously."

-"Do things the right way, not the easy way."

Do you see a problem here? They're not COMPLETELY opposite of one another, but they're different enough that it doesn't really make sense to have both in the same journey. Robin's supposed to worry less about perfecting details and maintaining his discipline... but he's also supposed to embrace difficulty and never cut corners? This episode feels like it's trying to be serious enough to uphold the serious lesson, but goofy and tongue-in-cheek enough to justify the other lesson, which is_ specifically about not being too serious_.

Robin says, near the end, that he expected everything to have a deeper meaning. The Master responds, "You take yourself too seriously." That's my problem. That's it, right there. Because EVERYTHING seemed serious here! Every time someone said something cryptic to Robin, every time he had a problem he had to overcome, it seemed like there was a point. Something he had to learn. And there just... kind of wasn't?

I'm not sure if this is supposed to be a twist. Like, playing off of an expectation. I guess, technically, it DID trick me into thinking that there was going to be a deep meaning behind everything. But that's not a good trick. That's kind of an annoying trick.

Before I forget: I'm not a big fan of this villain, either. I don't remember his name, but he's bald and fights with a staff. And his big reveal at the end is that he followed Robin up the mountain, closely enough that he wouldn't have to fight the guardians, somehow (I guess after a single fight, the guardians just kinda take a nap? And anyone can sneak past?). So his whole deal is that he tried to cheat his way to the top, literally, and that wasn't kosher, so the Master refused to train him.

Of course, you could always say she was taking herself too seriously.

But you know what? I've spent way too much time complaining. This is a fantastic, wonderful show, and I'm really grateful that I get to watch it, so the least I can do is try to turn my bad mood into something positive. So let's make this official! Let's make it... the second-ever THEORY TIME.

**What did Robin actually learn?**

I have my own gripes with this whole thing, but I wanna hear more opinions. What do you all think about this one? Is one of the morals more important than the other, or is there something I missed completely? What does Robin take away from all this, in the end? What do YOU take away from it?

...I mean, if you don't mind sharing your thoughts. Didn't mean to sound too bossy, there.

Also- as I mentioned before- I thought the sideplot with the 'Robins' was solid gold. I loved every second of it. So at the very worst, I only half-dislike this episode.

[]

**Funny stuff**: The intro is hilariously devoid of any context. Who's this guy? Why's he stealing a staff? Why is Robin there? Why not the others? Where are they? _What is even happening?_

-Robin says the journey is only for the most serious people. Beast Boy beams. "I'm in! When do we leave? What should I pack? Will I need shots? This is gonna be so cool!" It's just painfully obvious that he's not gonna get to go.

-Robin straight-up admits he has no idea where he's going, then wanders into a random village. Then he sees a statue and asks a random person what to do. Of course, they're right next to the mountain. It's the best.

-THAT'S A BEAR. THAT IS A TALKING BEAR. ROBIN ISN'T EVEN BLINKING ABOUT THIS.

"How'd you get past the bear?" "Same way you did! I walked." Now I'm picturing this tiny old lady karate-fighting a giant bear, and it's awesome.

-We get a Starfire retrospective of her favorite moments with Robin, complete with a tiny sad raincloud over her head.

-Beast Boy in Robin's uniform is an amazing image. He even declares himself 'Beast Boy Wonder'.

-"Look at all the cool stuff in here!" he chirps, then proceeds to throw a million weapons out of the belt, causing explosions and yelping cat noises.

-When Beast Boy convinces Starfire to try on Robin's clothes, he sounds really creepy and excited about it. Like he's offering her drugs in an after-school special or something.

-Am I allowed to ask why the snake is wearing a hoodie with sleeves?

-Beast Boy imitates Robin's karate growls in the mirror.

-Cyborg uses his arm as a fan, to make Beast Boy's cape blow in the wind. True bros.

-"Robin calling Robin!" "Robin here!" "...No, not you Robin. The other Robin!" Raven pops in, with a perfectly-timed "Well, this is just disturbing."

-"Come on! Haven't you ever wondered what it would be like to be Robin? You _know_ you wanna try it." The peer-pressure vibes from this are off the charts. Why do they all want to be Robin so badly? (I'm still laughing, don't worry. But it's... weird.)

"You know, Robins..." I don't even care about the rest of the quote. That's just funny.

[]

Next up: 'Birthmark'.

Let's do it.


	44. Birthmark

Season 4, Episode 3

**Eclipse  
**

[]

The sun was rising. Fitting.

Doctor Light breathed in the cool air of the early morning, hands on the railing of the rooftop's edge. It wasn't the first time he'd escaped from prison, and it certainly wouldn't be the last. Those fools. Did they really think that simple walls could hold back _light?_

...Well, in a technical sense, he supposed they could. But that wasn't the point.

He narrowed his eyes, focusing on a dim shape in the distance. The power plant had been the focus of his most recent plans, and his time in custody had only refined the scheme. Even with the constant threat of the Teen Titans, he still knew he'd be able to implement his work. In fact, if they tried to stop him again, it would be a perfect opportunity to take revenge. As soon as he could make his way to the building, he could...

No. Wait. That wasn't the power plant. He frowned. No matter- it was _behind_ that building. Or, at least, in that direction. He'd find it eventually.

Yes.

Shaking his head, Doctor Light considered his options. Use his powers to scale down the wall, then continue on foot? Or perhaps it would be better to stick to the rooftops, where he'd be less likely to encounter anyone at all. And, of course, he had to factor in the prison guards and police currently searching for him...

A sound startled him. He spun, searching the still-dark scene for any source of the noise, but saw nothing. Only deep shadows from the railings and miniature walls that spanned the building's apex.

...The wind whistled quietly. Slightly flustered, he scoffed at the interruption. Probably just a trick of the morning silence. Doctor Light straightened and turned back in the direction of the plant.

A blazing fireball careened out of the sky, colliding with the concrete only yards in front of him.

The explosion of heat and power sent him reeling, causing him to stumble and fall backwards before he'd even registered the sound of the crash- Doctor Light was vaguely aware that his feet were slipping, sliding backwards, and his vision was still swimming with the aftershock of the fire's glare. In the haze, he suddenly realized that something had hold of his arm.

Words. A quiet, almost whispered voice.

The pressure on his arm tightened, pulling him backwards. He was thrown forcefully to the side, where he slammed into the low barrier surrounding the rooftop. Trying his best to turn, he wasn't able to see anything until the same grip wrenched him upwards again, so he was face-to-face with...

Shadows. It might have been the blow to his head, but he didn't have a clear view of whatever was standing in front of him. Only a single eye, unblinking and harsh.

"You have no place in what's coming."

A hand, strong as iron, was around his neck now, pulling him until his feet weren't touching the ground. "Don't interfere."

Just when he thought he might pass out, he was dropped. Collapsing, Doctor Light gasped for breath as someone began walking away from him. The blurry light of dawn, combined with the problems in his own eyesight, made it impossible to make out anything more than a tall, dark figure who seemed to draw shadows around him.

Even with the clear defeat, he still felt he had to get in the last word. This interloper couldn't think he was just a weakling to be cast aside. "You can't stop the light," he rasped, noticing that the sun was barely beginning to slip above the horizon.

The shadow paused. "Light? Quite the contrary, my friend."

It was difficult to tell, but he thought the man had turned his face. The eye stared resolutely down at him again. "I've seen the future. Trust me- light has nothing to do with it."

Without another word, he slipped away into the darkness.

[]

[]

[]

**Chronology  
**

[]

Bright. Loud. Fast. Colorful

..._Fun_, she supposes.

The party ends up being a bigger production than she expected. The main ops room is decorated beyond recognition, with streamers and balloons everywhere she turns. Even with only five people, there's plenty to do- Cyborg ends up in charge of the games, and has a knack for getting the whole group involved whenever somebody's tired of just eating and talking. Not that anyone's complaining about the food, because between his own legendary cooking and Starfire's more... _eccentric_ menu, it's an experience Raven isn't going to forget anytime soon.

Raven waits.

As exhausting as the day was, she's not surprised that the celebration goes late into the night. Beast Boy in particular seems to be having the time of his life, bouncing between the party games and the food and movies and video games, without any indication of slowing down. A few times, she catches him glancing her way- he gives an encouraging smile, like he's hoping she stays happy.

She's calm.

Starfire asks if she's okay, and when she gives a clipped and slightly-irritated response in the affirmative, she backtracks and offers her more cake instead. Raven briefly regrets using that tone, and apologizes. Grinning like it didn't bother her at all, Starfire drops another paper plate in Raven's lap and darts away.

She doesn't worry.

It's Robin who acts most differently, in the end. For most of the night, he seems like he's acutely aware of everything that happened- hovering near her, almost like he's hoping to comfort her, asking in hushed tones if this is alright, because if it isn't they can stop and shut the whole thing down, he'll understand, it's fine... He only backs down when she tells him to stop worrying and enjoy the stupid party. It's a sentiment she doesn't get to express often, and the irony isn't lost on him, resulting in a smirk before he heads over to watch Cyborg and Beast Boy embarrass themselves with a karaoke machine. Raven's glad when he leaves. It's unnerving to see him so on-edge.

She doesn't panic.

Only once does Cyborg ask her about the battle. After they fought Slade, he remembers a strange moment- as if he blacked out and lost consciousness for a short time. He says the others went through something similar, and Raven realizes that either he didn't ask Robin, or their leader lied and didn't tell them what happened. She's grateful and uneasy at the same time. It's too much to tell now, though. Not here. So she lies, saying her memories are similar, and is only slightly mad at herself when he apologizes with a disappointed sigh.

She's in control.

Midnight passes, eventually. This time, of course, there's nothing particularly special, but it's still surprising when she notices the feeling. The stressed, constrained agony of simply waiting, waiting, just like she felt the previous day. Suddenly, though, she understands. Because now, the promise has been made. The message has been delivered. She'll be waiting until the next step unfolds- and there truly is nothing she can do to stop it.

She watches the clock, even though it doesn't matter now. Numbers flying past in a cycle of minutes and hours. Like sand in the proverbial hourglass, pouring through until the way is open and there's nothing left to stop the inevitable.

Tick tock.

[]

[]

[]

"You're gonna love the next one!"

"Man, 'Birthmark' is gonna blow your mind."

"Can't wait for the next one!"

"You'll really like this one!"

*Wow, this really sounds like a big deal. Last time I had this much hype with 'Haunted', it ended up being absolutely awesome! I sure hope this one's as good. Let's watch it!*

...

Hm...

...

...

...Eh, that was alright. Raven's story was a little hard to follow, and Slade's reappearance was sorta underwhelming. Kind of a bizarre episode, but I guess it was cool?

Anyway, see you next time.

...

...

I CAN'T EVEN KEEP THAT JOKE GOING, THIS EPISODE IS AN EMOTION-DESTROYING GIFT/CURSE FROM THE GODS OF SEVERAL MAJOR RELIGIONS AND I'M LOSING MY MIND RIGHT NOW.

Okay. Okay, guys, okay. Okay. Hoo. Where do I even start? Seriously, how would you begin talking about this one? This is such a big deal, I'm not even sure how to try. This doesn't just change how we see Raven, although obviously that's a big thing. **This raises the stakes of the entire show.** In other parts of the series, we were worried about the team falling apart, or Robin losing his way, or the city being destroyed, or other villains dividing/hurting the Titans. Now, it's the world.

The entire planet is in jeopardy, and I can say that without a hint of sarcasm, because this episode doesn't just drop it in, like "Oh, guess what, we need to feel important and dangerous, so here's an end-of-the-world threat." No, this is something that they've clearly been working towards for a long time. It fits PERFECTLY with the several hints we've had about Raven, with the substantially darker glimpses we've seen of her powers than anyone else's. And it explains why we haven't had much backstory about her at all, if they were planning to focus on it here.

So, those two things on their own are Big Deals. Raven is important, and the end of the world is important- even though we don't know a lot about what's happening yet. What else could possibly make this any more epic? What could push the stakes even further, elevating this to unimaginable levels of drama and IT'S SLADE, THE ANSWER IS SLADE.

Of course they'd choose this episode to bring back Slade! That was freaking mind-boggling. I'm looking over my notes, and like half the individual reactions are just a string of shocked curses. He bursts out of the ocean floor (having somehow survived!), uttering, "The day has begun." Swear. He has the creepy symbol from Raven's dream ON HIS HEAD. Swear. He has fire coming out of his hands, because he's now apparently magic. Swear, swear, SWEARING FOR ALL TIME.

Oh yeah, and he shows Raven a vision of the entire city, burning and dead. The Titans are turned to stone. And then he tells her it's going to be her fault.

That's insane. That is the darkest thing this show has ever shown (unless I'm forgetting something, but I don't think so). And you know what's even worse? What's actually more ridiculous about all this? Any other episode, Slade would easily steal the title of 'Most intense and horrifying bad guy' with everything he does here. But he actually has some competition. In fact, in a legitimately surprising twist ending, he calls the guy 'Master'.

Yes, there's ANOTHER VILLAIN. And I ain't talking about Doctor Light. Instead, it's this absolutely nightmarish voice that has some of the best, most chilling lines of the entire series up till now. And everything he says is confusing, but in the best way, because it's hinting at something major to come. What's being 'concealed'? What's the destiny he keeps talking about? What has 'begun'?

But most importantly, what portal? What freaking portal, man?!

This is incredible. So now we know that, somehow, this voice is expecting Raven to end the world. And the show doesn't just use that as a dramatic device to get at some other idea or theme; instead, this danger is the focus of the entire episode. For example, during a scene where Robin's pleading with Raven to let him help, to let him shoulder part of this horrible problem, he brings up the fact that they actually do know each other pretty well. Again, 'Haunted' is worth mentioning, because Raven saw inside his mind and learned more about him than she ever could have guessed. But even in the face of all that, Raven says this:

"If you knew anything about the day of my birth, you'd know there's nothing to celebrate."

In other words, at this point in time, Raven's fear is stronger than the desire to be open with her friends and let them help her. That's... geez, that's kind of hard to stomach. But by the time the episode is over, it absolutely makes sense: Slade repeatedly stresses how _inevitable_ everything is, and how there's nothing she can do to stop what's coming. And he backs it up with action- through every fight, there's nothing Raven can do against him. She just has to keep running. It really hammers the point home.

In fact, it's actually pretty disheartening. We don't get a hint of anything going her way, no subtle clues that _maybe_ she can defeat her destiny... it just keeps piling up. I don't remember the last time I've seen a show be this bleak in its story, let alone a show primarily aimed at kids. I think that sense of defeat is really what caught me this time- with Robin's arc back in Season 1, there was always a sense of 'Okay, how're they gonna get out of this one?' And with Terra's story, there was the hope that maybe she could be redeemed (even though that hope was eventually reversed for a cruel and dramatic effect). This feels darker than either of those, and we're only on the third episode!

...What have I even gotten myself into, you guys.

Before I forget- Doctor Light is still a lot of fun, in a classic-Season-1-villain kinda way. He has some pretty funny moments, and if this wasn't such a serious episode, I probably would have talked about him a lot more. And I'm pretty sure both times he's shown up, Raven has terrified him somehow, and the episode has gone on to focus on her.

Oh, and one more thing. The long scene where time is stopped is noteworthy for a few reasons: first of all, the animation is excellent. Even when they're flying away from Slade, you have this sense that the city really is frozen around them, even though it's still a dynamic and tense battle/chase. Also, it makes me wonder what the others saw. Robin was unfrozen, so he got a lot of information about this whole problem, but the others didn't make it out at all until the end, right? So Beast Boy, Starfire, and Cyborg probably know nothing at all about all this 'end of the world' stuff.

(And Raven can stop time now. That's a thing. Uh-oh.)

[]

**Fun Times, Jokes with Friends**: "You know, Dr. Light... for a guy obsessed with illumination, you're not very bright."

-"Next time you want to steal something, you might want to pick a target we can't see from our living room."

-What's so bad about this plan? 'Never-ending daylight'? That doesn't sound evil... I like that they're trying to be creative about evil plans, but that actually seems like it'd be alright.

-"DUDE! Nice pajamas! Do they glow in the dark?"

-All Raven has to do is remind Doctor Light that she _exists_. "...I'd like to go to jail now, please."

-Cyborg is excited to hurry up and arrest Light, so he can get back to the Tower and eat donuts at midnight, specifically. This is not explained.

-Beast Boy gives a terrified screech when Raven pops out of the ground, but she just keeps talking. It's a great contrast.

-Beast Boy explains they were curious about this whole day thing. "So we did some snooping. Okay, I did some snooping." Then we get a tiny chibi version of him snooping around on the computer in a cat-burglar costume.

-The Tamaranean crown-of-meat is glorious.

-"We got a pinata shaped like Beast Boy! You know you wanna smack it."

-When Raven storms out, Beast Boy says, "...I told you a surprise party was a bad idea." I _guarantee_ he was the most excited about it in the first place! He probably thought he'd come up with a brilliant plan.

-"What is happening?" "It's my birthday." RAVEN, TIME IS STOPPED. YOU KNOW THAT IS NOT A GOOD ENOUGH EXPLANATION.

-"Ever have one of those days where you just feel happy to be alive?" I've missed Slade so much.

-"'Whoa'? That's it? No clever comment? I was looking forward to that." Not only does Slade have an excellent grasp of how this show works, he even makes fun of it.

-"Take my word for it, Robin. You shouldn't play with fire." Even Slade's in on the battle-puns!

[]

Next up: 'Cyborg the Barbarian'. Funny story: I actually started watching the first two minutes of this one, back when I was supposed to watch 'The Quest' instead- I got through the whole bit about waffles, and then the theme song, before I realized I was on the wrong episode.

Oops.

But here we are, for real this time! Moving right along.

Later, dorks!


	45. Cyborg the Barbarian

Season 4, Episode 4

**Memoriam  
**

[]

The sky is tearing. Before your eyes, the world is cleaved in a scar of darkness.

You can't look away.

In the roiling and broken clouds, a rift is growing- swiftly, a great clawed hand emerges. Shining in black and white, crackling with energy, it stretches down to the battlefield. Monstrous. Impossible. Like the arm of a god. The apparition descends, and monsters howl and clamber over one another as it nears its target.

Your breath freezes in your lungs. The traitor's voice rasps, "Your champion."

He's caught in its grasp. The hand rears back, tearing him away from the ground below. You're not sure, but it sounds like he's yelling, calling your name. Fearful.

The world of magic and mystery brought you this hero. Now, it seems, it is reclaiming him.

You try to move, to reach him, but Krall holds you tightly. Hands roughly pull you, dragging you until you're being held up in the air and your feet scramble to find solid ground. Armored fingers strain to crush your throat. Your head is spinning- the mist, green and heavy, stings in your eyes, as your helmet has been long lost.

"Look," Krall says with a scornful laugh. "My victory."

You follow the direction of his vicious smile, gazing in the distance. Cyborg is... gone. The tear in the sky, the giant arm, and the tribe's hero are all vanished, as if they had never been.

"You have failed, Sarasim." Krall's eyes gleam. "Now die, knowing that your people will bow to me."

To concentrate at all is a struggle. Cries and growls echo from the fighting all around, and the stench of death is inescapable. The thought appears in your mind, briefly, that he may be right. Perhaps this is the end. But his heinous form leers at you in triumph, and you think of the courage and resilience of your tribe's champion.

The battle is not over.

There is something else, something that you can use. Your sword is gone, but... you try to remember, fighting the pain and clouded thoughts that slow your mind.

Not a sword. But another blade- the short knife in the armor's glove. Krall's grip grows stronger, and it takes every ounce of your strength to raise your hand to the level of his wrist.

Cyborg is gone, but you are still the tribe's leader. And you will save your people.

The metal springs forth, cutting deep into Krall's inhuman forearm. He roars in pain and lets go on instinct; falling to the ground, you activate the other blade as well, before rushing forward with twin daggers protruding from your hands.

He stops one blow, but can't avoid the other as steel slices his skin. You dart back, wary of any furious counterattacks, and wait for him to lumber forward in a rage before moving. You slide quickly under his first swing, and the next punch only lands on the ground behind you as you run. Finally, turning, you leap upward, letting the momentum of the fall drive both blades into Krall's back.

The traitor falls. His mutated body crashes to the ground, and you rest in the dust of his defeat.

"Sarasim!" You look up to see one of your soldiers, staring at you in shock. The corpse beneath you shudders as you step on Krall's head to descend. Nearer, you can see beyond him- the battle continues, with numerous casualties of both armies lying in the dirt. Several other warriors have gathered near, clearly looking to you for guidance.

The man tries to stand straighter before addressing you. "Where is Cyborg?"

...

Hundreds of monsters remain, killing your men and women. And the hero of the tribe- one of whom legends have already been told- is gone.

...

How to answer?

You turn to face each individually. "Our champion has been struck down."

Shock and worry are written on their faces. _He saved us once_, you think. _Now he shall save us again._

Your voice rises. "Who will honor him? Who will take his place?"

The words have the effect you hoped- slowly, uncertainly, the warriors before you begin to stand taller. They hold your gaze firmly. They hold their weapons with a steady hand.

"Who will fight as he did?"

With the final cry, a great shout rises up from the soldiers.

Cyborg will not be forgotten.

[]

[]

[]

Second-person, for the first time in this entire project, I think! Might try using it again in the future. I dunno.

This one's fun. There are a lot of really cool elements, both visually and story-wise, and Cyborg gets a lot to work with. There are a few things I don't really get, but not in a distracting or detracting way.

The biggest part of this one is the setting, obviously. The show has dealt with futuristic stuff (although Jump City is already kind of futuristic in its feel), and it's switched things around once in a while, but it's never had something as wildly different as this. 3,000 B.C. was a pretty strange choice for a backdrop, but it really works! The bizarre combo of prehistoric and medieval ideas is a lot of fun. The tribe/knight dynamic is pretty sweet, too, since it provides a strong emphasis on the community-based things, like the feasting and bond among soldiers, as well as individual sacrifice. It just seems like a really neat group of people to hang with, is all I'm saying.

We get some very unusual choices, from a plot perspective. The ending in particular is really fascinating to me. The final fight has been going for a while, Krall has Sarasim literally in his hands, Cyborg's about to use his cannon (which is set up nicely, with a couple of references to only having enough power for one attack, so it REALLY seems like he's going to do it)... And then he doesn't save the day. The Titans pull him back to the present.

I loved that. I was absolutely sure I knew how this story would end, and I ended up completely wrong. For a few minutes, the episode became very somber and unusually reflective- not at all what I expected. But all the same, it's good to have the little moment with the history book, showing that Sarasim was able to win.

The other thing that seemed a nontraditional choice was the romance. One moment especially made me pause- Sarasim tells Cyborg that, underneath the armor, they're the same, and she's completely undeterred by his machine-hand. He almost kisses her, then leaves the house, telling himself, "You may be from the future, but you don't know a thing." I truly don't know what he means by that. And... I'm kind of okay with it? Like, it's as if not knowing the complete explanation for what he's thinking or feeling is alright, somehow.

Of course, later she does kiss him- but right _next_ to his mouth. Like the very edge of his cheek. It's weird.

In fact, everything about the romance is a little complicated. They're from different time periods, Cyborg literally can't survive there, they hardly understand each other half the time... but they're still kind of likable together. I don't know exactly what I think about that whole aspect yet, but it definitely has me thinking, as does Cyborg's mysterious quote about not knowing anything.

I only have one quibble with this episode, and it's nothing major. Or, at least, it didn't bother me too much. What the heck was Krall's plan? He brings Cyborg back to the past with magic (for reasons I don't understand at all), but hates him as soon as he becomes the hero. So he tries to get him to leave through the portal again. But then he decides to try to kill him instead. That scene gets Cyborg kind of confused, too; when he has the chance to leave and go home, he ignores it, instead trying to use all his power to launch a single laser that will kill Krall? Why? Basically, everything relating to Krall confuses me. **I don't understand you, giant magic bad guy.**

But for the most part, the characters are awesome. Sarasim is a total boss. Cyborg in armor looks intimidating as anything I've ever seen. And the aliens (Monsters? Creatures? Mutants?) look really cool, too! The design on the green-black bodies with the weird exaggerated limbs and stuff gives a real Ben-10 feel.

[]

**Comedy Hour:  
**

-When Cyborg unboxes the Gamestation XL, Beast Boy floats upside-down across the screen, whispering, "It's... beautiful..."

-"Evil beware. We have waffles." I've heard that quote before! Literally just that line. I don't know where I heard it, but I was trying to find it for a long time, and now I finally know what it's from!

-Cyborg reaches to start the equalizer, and with a giant smile on his face, gets struck by lightning and vanishes. For some reason, I found the timing of that really funny.

-"Don't do anything, don't TOUCH anything... Sci-fi rule number one: you start messin' with the past, you end up with monkeys rulin' the future."

-Okay, Cyborg has a moment of worry, where he doesn't want to change the past. Then he instantly changes his mind and murders every single monster with his lasers. All of them. It's fantastic.

-When Cyborg has to cross the field of warriors and monsters, we don't see it. Instead, we get a Frogger-style screen of a pixelated guy hopping between enemies. I love it.

-Cyborg just punched a monster so hard it exploded!

[]

*does a quick Google search to get the spelling of the names right*

*DODGES SPOILERS FOR FUTURE EPISODES, YIKES, DISASTER AVERTED*

I'm really glad so many people are psyched about this season! And I can't wait to see more episodes about Raven and Slade and whatever's about to go down. Thanks for all the encouragement and feedback, you guys.

(If you're wondering, I'm actually getting a lot done on 'Hemlock'. Writin' all kinds of grandiose monologues, having characters argue nonsense about who's really to blame and the nature of power and heroism and punching each other in the face and stuff. Gonna be lots o' fun. Still no timetable for the update, because there's a ton to finish yet, but that is definitely coming along!)

Next up: 'Employee of the Month'. That's... interesting. Now that I think about it, do any of the Titans have any kind of day job? Probably not. So maybe it'll be about somebody else? Eh, I have no sarcastic or cheeky predictions for this one.

Later, dorks! (I mean that in a good way. I consider myself the dorkiest.)


	46. Employee of the Month

Season 4, Episode 5

**Guarantee  
**

[]

"Yours. Right now. Only nineteen-ninety-five. That's right, folks, this baby can be all yours for under twenty smackeroos." Beast Boy grinned, then threw a tennis racket over his shoulder. "Now, let's see what other goodies we have!"

Standing in the room's entrance, Raven needed a moment to take in the scene.

Beast Boy was hunched in front of a laptop, rummaging through a large cardboard box. On the wall behind him were several large hand-made signs, with such exuberant proclamations as, "SAVE!", "QUALITY PRODUCT!", and "LIMITED TIME ONLY!". By the way he'd positioned himself, she could only guess that he had the webcam up and running, and was currently streaming... whatever this was. There was even a stereo booming behind him, with a jingle that looped the same few seconds of screeching synth music over and over.

Though tempted to ask what was going on, she decided to see if she could figure it out herself.

"Oh, this is a real treat, right here!" Beaming, though also seeming slightly out of breath, Beast Boy reared up and proudly displayed a pair of hiking boots. He somehow found a way to hold them while also modeling them with his hands, as if presenting the footwear as a prize on a game show. "Are you sick of boots that you can't count on? That don't perform in the clutch? You know what I'm talkin' about, ladies and gentlemen."

Raven stared as he kept talking. It was like he never stopped to breathe. "You're on a _positively delightful_ hiking trip with your family and friends, and you end up trekking through a steep, rocky mountain pass that most climbers would BALK at. But you? No, you're gonna look that slope in the face and you're gonna scale it for all it's worth, because this is the mountain climbing championships or something, I don't know, just start forward one step at a time and don't give up and soon you're at the very top and you DID IT! But then you look down and you realize that your gear has _betrayed_ you, because those half-rate boots that you didn't really think about when you got 'em at some college kid's garage sale are suddenly worn through, and now you got holes in the soles and everything's falling apart from water damage. Yes, you heard me right, WATER DAMAGE. And termites. Termites and water on the mountain."

Did... did he not realize how many times he'd just contradicted himself? Raven almost said something, but before she could, Beast Boy took a desperate, gulping breath and smiled again. "Well, you don't need to worry about any of that with our new and improved SteadyTread line. For just fifty-nine-ninety-nine, these babies are not only one-hundred-percent guaranteed against punctures or tears in any part of the shoe, but they're also completely waterproof, and I can personally attest to their durability in the case of termite attacks."

The words were starting to run together, and she could barely make out the end of the sentence. Beast Boy paused, hands on his knees as he took a second to get his energy back. "Long story," he coughed with a half-grin. "Hey, speaking of long stories, how about a product that's endorsed by a real, honest-to-goodness celebrity?"

He waved a hand in front of his face, only stopping for an instant before looking back at the screen. "It's me. I'm the celebrity. Beast Boy, superhero extraordinaire, defender of Jump City and motor vehicle enthusiast."

Raven could only gawk as he wheeled a brand-new moped into the camera's field of vision. "Now, I know what you're thinking, folks. Just a moped? Is that really the best we can do? Well, I'm here to let you know that this is no ordinary machine. If you'll notice the finish on this beauty, you'll be looking at a marvel of engineering perfection that is completely protected against rust and discoloration. And you can count on the same level of resilience and quality in every aspect, every _element_ of this bike."

It was starting to sound like he'd memorized a commercial. "And don't even get me STARTED on the bike's actual performance. Handling, acceleration, top speed, it's all golden and it's all a blast. If you order now, you can-"

"Beast Boy."

He faltered, glancing sideways to where Raven was standing. "Uh, if you order now, you-"

"What are you doing."

Fuming, he gritted his teeth. "Order before six o'clock tonight and get fifteen percent off the total order," he said in a rapid growl. "Remember, all online orders can be picked up at any store location. _Thank you_." He quickly reached forward, probably cutting off the video, then whirled towards Raven. "What?!"

She raised an eyebrow. "...I'm just wondering what's going on."

"Simple. Turns out those aliens bought the moped form this weird hardware store-slash-sporting goods-slash-clothes store. After I wrecked the bike, they said they'll replace it with no charge if I can sell five hundred dollars' worth of merch before six tonight."

He said it so quickly, and with so much energy, that she barely knew how to respond. He simply stood there, arms crossed, panting with exhaustion. "Really?" she managed.

"Yeah. Cyborg said so." Still glaring, he spun back to the computer. "Now, if you'll excuse me."

Lost for words, Raven only watched as he flipped the feed back on and reverted back to his TV-grin. "All right, everybody! The last deal we've got for you today is a real doozy!"

"Huh?" Distracted, she turned to see Cyborg entering the room, probably just coming back from a patrol. "What's, uh..." He paled suddenly. "Oh no."

"Have you ever wanted to have real, authentic gear worn by actual Jump City superheroes?"

"What's 'oh no'?" Raven whispered, unwilling to interrupt the show again.

Cyborg stared, slowly shaking his head with shock. "I... I told him, but I was joking!"

"Yes, for the first time, ladies and gentlemen, we have the entire ensemble worn by the famous, uh-" The tiredness seemed to set in, as Beast Boy paused suddenly and his face dropped. Struggling to stay energetic, he brightened again. "The Moped Marauder! Yes, you heard that right- you can share the signature style of the mystery man himself."

As he started listing the different parts of the costume, Raven turned. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. I thought it'd be a funny prank. You know, he calls the place, gets mad at me when there's no deal, but then it's all good when he finds out they're giving him a free one anyway for saving the world." He nervously grinned. "That, uh, that was the plan, anyway."

"Nothing says 'tough on crime' like a white scarf, orange goggles, and twin water guns!"

Raven watched their friend's antics for a while longer. "One of us really should let him know."

"Yeah." Cyborg coughed quietly.

"Special deals if you buy the moped and the costume in a bundle!"

"You want to tell him?"

He shrugged. "You?"

"These prices are NOT gonna last, people!"

Finally, Raven gave a small smile. "We're terrible friends."

[]

[]

[]

(Scrapped ideas: something involving the **alien tofu monster**. That guy deserves his own gosh-dang show, as far as I'm concerned. Couldn't think of anything good.)

[]

As far as I know, Beast Boy didn't get a new moped. That's just wishful thinking on my part.

Because I really love the moped. And I love Beast Boy riding the moped. And I love the turn of events that led to him riding a moped.

...Because, for the first time in a while, I absolutely loved everything about this filler episode.

I think this is my favorite funny one. Yes, even over the one where Robin gets forced to go to the prom. I'm about to be that guy who totally ruins comedy by trying to analyze it too much, but here we go: in my opinion, 'Employee of the Month' works beautifully as a funny episode for two reasons- the ideas are great, and the punchlines are great.

A lot of the humor in this one comes from the premise- the basic setups, or the way you'd describe this story to a friend. "So, a bunch of UFO's are trying to kidnap all the cows in the world... Basically, the one vegetarian in the group has to work at the sketchiest meat market ever... And the heroes end up saving the Earth from the evil space tofu!" Stuff like that. Things that made me laugh, then squint and the screen and wonder, 'How did anyone come up with that?'

For example, the opening goes like this. We start with a peaceful, almost lovingly-animated farm scene. There's an elderly couple in rocking chairs on the front porch. Everything is tranquil and nice. The following scene is not treated as a funny moment, with zany music and stuff; instead, it's a serious action scene, alongside tense music and dramatic animation. A UFO shows up and tries to abduct a cow. The Titans burst out of their disguises- Robin and Starfire were the old couple, Raven was a scarecrow, Beast Boy was a pig in the field, and Cyborg was the cow that nearly got abducted.

He then screams "Moo-yeah!", but that's kind of besides the point right now.

The episode is FULL of stuff like that. Completely ridiculous, but they kind of treat it seriously, so it's never too in-your-face and cutesy, because half the joke is how determined and focused the characters are in the middle of all this insanity. We barely get any time to process what just happened, and Robin suddenly gripes, "That's the third time this week." The combo of serious and stupid is wonderful.

Beast Boy trying to be a salesman? Perfect. A character who's crazy and weird, trying his absolute best to be normal and boring (and somehow blowing up a house in the process). The creepy boss who keeps getting his name wrong is great too, for the opposite reason: someone who should be normal, but instead acts really strangely.

And the episode's final act takes that whole concept to the extreme. As soon as one of the characters uttered the phrase "Army of Bobs", I was laughing out loud. With the way this episode was set up, that's a brilliant and hilarious twist. Same thing with the alien guy! A tiny monster, with a high-pitched voice, who wants to take over the world with the most mundane of weapons: tofu.

But my favorite part of all this was definitely Beast Boy. I had no idea how badly I wanted him to finally get that moped. I mean, he's been wanting that since, like, season 1. And it can fly. With rockets. So picture this: he's wearing orange goggles, a racing helmet, a weirdly bright white scarf, and he's riding a moped while using Super Soakers to mow down a bunch of polite-looking guys named Bob before they drop into tiny white cubes. Again: who the heck thinks of this stuff?

(Sidenote: dang it, Beast Boy, you're already a superhero. You do not need to moonlight as a different superhero.)

But that's only half of it. I'm pretty sure this episode has some of the best punchlines and comedic moments, too, so I'm just gonna list those like usual.

(And does anyone know if this episode had different animators or something? Beast Boy and Raven are making comedic faces they've never gotten CLOSE to before. And the tone's really weird for scene changes: at one point, Robin says they shouldn't waste time eating breakfast. Cut to Cyborg, leaving the restaurant, saying "Meat-tastic!" in a weird voice. Immediately cut back to the Tower, like nothing happened. Just... weird.)

[]

-Okay, this one's out of order, but I have to talk about it here because it might be my **favorite funny moment of the entire show**. Yes, I know we just had the 'waffles' bit last episode, and that was wonderful. But this scene made me laugh so hard I had to pause everything because I couldn't keep watching until I'd calmed down. Beast Boy's angry because he hates the idea of working at the meat market. He goes in and almost asks for a job, but changes his mind, and he's walking away when Bob says this: "Say, do you like mopeds?"

...Beast Boy turns, and with the most perfect comic timing ever (along with a nicely-placed musical beat), gives Bob a death glare unlike any expression I've ever seen. Why is it so much funnier than a suddenly-happy face would have been? I don't know. I just know I couldn't stop laughing. I think you can find that clip online, if you just search 'Do you like mopeds?'

-Robin's brand-new flight suit, that lets him fly whenever he wants, actually has a beak.

-"How come I'm the only one who actually has to run?" That's kinda clever, honestly. I assume Beast Boy's also talking about flying, here: do the others not have to actually expend energy? Like, he still has to flap wings or whatever, while Raven and Starfire can just use magic?

-Cyborg cheerfully announces a new spot to have breakfast, and the sun immediately comes up. Like, during the conversation. No one notices.

-"Beast Boy. You don't need a moped. You can fly." Robin doesn't get the deadpan sarcastic lines often, but when he does, he makes them count.

-When testing video games, Beast Boy pulls one lever and hits a single button. The room explodes.

-Why do Beast Boy's moped-fantasies always involve a striped shirt and a beret? And a mustache? I mean, I'm not complaining.

-Comedic twist of the freaking century: "Everything is going according to plan, Supreme Cre-a-tor!" (And the humans?) "They suspect nothing!" Bob says cheerfully while literally melting into a hamburger.

-Cyborg finishes an order of, like, six or seven entire meals with "...And a diet soda." I totally know people who do that. I think everyone knows people who do that. 'Diet' has to mean it automatically makes everything else healthy, right?

-Starfire asks what kind of meat they serve. "Bob says that's a trade secret." Raven asks if he's the only one who works there. "Bob says that's a trade secret too."

-Robin instructs the team to take it down 'just like they planned'. He proceeds to bike onto the upper floors of a skyscraper, then bust through a window and land on the UFO in the air as it passes the building. YOU CAN'T PLAN THAT, ROBIN.

-They break into the UFO, and see a cow. Turns out it's the power supply of the craft. The Titans are shocked that the cow wasn't driving. Seriously, they all assumed the cow was the pilot.

-(At this point, I just had a note that said "I'm not following this plot at all, and I love it." Most of it makes sense in hindsight, although I don't completely remember everything the aliens were planning to do with the meat market and the cows and stuff.)

-I'm getting really uncomfortable whenever the little rice-cake guy scrunches up his face in grunting concentration, and then a pile of sludge plops into a tube.

-Beast Boy puts the alien overlord in the fridge. Nice.

-Beast Boy shows up at the machine, ready to save the world... then stares at it for a while, and decides to do it later. That's funny on its own, but then I realized he's reluctant to shut it down because every other machine he's tinkered with in this episode has backfired and exploded.

-The moped collapsing is one of the saddest things I've ever seen.

-Cyborg ate the alien. Of _course_ that's how this ends. Geez.

[]

Man, I just feel good right now. This show makes me happy.

I mean, sometimes. Other times it absolutely murders any shred of peace and calm I might have. But for now, everything's great! I got to watch a wonderful, hilarious little story that made no sense. Good times.

I'm sure nothing in the future will violently rip that happiness away, replacing it with emotional drama and heavy angst.

Next up: ''Troq". Am, uh, am I spelling that right? Seems like a name or something.

Later, dorks!


	47. Troq

Season 4, Episode 6

**Devil On Your Back  
**

[]

He'd never been more proud of her.

It was strangely easy, he figured, to take her for granted sometimes. To let her constant and unwavering kindness fade into background noise, and to not truly appreciate how much she cared for her friends. And to ignore, just as easily, her resilience. Not just physical power- although she was deceptively strong- but other kinds of strength. The sort of character it took to look for the best in any situation, and to stand firm in the face of failures and setbacks. Qualities that didn't scream out into the world. Things that might be overlooked, if you weren't paying attention.

The point was driven home when, after the incident with the rogue pilot, Robin realized that he'd underestimated Starfire once again.

Looking back, the first moment had been when they encountered the minefield. Val-Yor had ordered Starfire (ruthlessly, Robin now realized) to brave the depths of space by herself and maneuver the bombs out of position, allowing the ship to pass through.

It pained him that he couldn't see it at the time- the insults, the disrespect, the indignity heaped on her, under the guise of a specialized mission. But she'd done it. Physically, the taxing work had asked much of her, but she hadn't complained. Complete isolation had shut her off from the others, but she never blinked. She was given a task from a leader who didn't care if she lived or died, and she'd crafted victory out of an impossible situation.

Her actions on the alien planet were noteworthy as well. In the final fight against the robots, Starfire had fought with a tenacity and energy Robin had never seen before. She thought quickly in an ever-changing landscape of foes, and even worked alongside Val-Yor when he wanted nothing to do with her. Once again, in the midst of being put down and belittled, she thrived. In fact, her strategy had won the day.

And her rescue had saved Val-Yor's life.

But when Robin considered what he'd seen, one moment stood above the rest. The rest of the Titans were excited, preparing to begin the final mission. Val-Yor had dismissed Starfire completely, ordering her to stay out of the fight. With a stare that defied all arrogance, all pride and contempt, she had looked him right in the eye and calmly said, "I do not take orders from you."

She was the only one to see through it all. She hadn't become enamored with his stories, or blinded by his charisma. She was the only one to recognize his vanity for the foolishness that it was, and the only one brave enough to stand up to him.

In that way- and, perhaps, in every way- Starfire really was the strongest of them all. Val-Yor had proved it.

When he paused to replay the events in his memory, when he processed everything that had happened, Robin found himself nearly in awe of her. Strength, tactical strategy, successes and accomplishments... Starfire had displayed all three, passing any test the pilot could have given with flying colors. She more than proved herself, even though there shouldn't have been a need to prove anything in the first place.

...He really was shocked when Val-Yor departed. It had been so clear, so _obvious_ that he would change his mind. He'd been looking forward to the moment when the pilot would have to sheepishly admit that he'd been wrong, and that Starfire had proved him a fool. Everything he seemed to admire, every trait and success that he valued, Starfire had personified during the mission.

But he didn't care. He didn't notice- or, maybe, he couldn't. Maybe his prejudice had so warped his thinking that he couldn't see as clearly anymore. Maybe nothing she could have done would ever be enough to change his mind.

And, maybe, that didn't matter.

Starfire spoke to them, afterward. There wasn't much to say, but he couldn't help feeling like the brief words had the gravity of a regal speech. She said that she couldn't make people like Val-Yor think differently. More importantly, she said that those people- those who judged the way he did- weren't the ones to listen to.

The words were spoken with a smile, but they stayed with Robin late into the night. How could she shrug it all off so easily? How could she stare such flippant, patronizing... _nonsense_ in the face and come away unscathed?

It was tempting, it really was, to just ask her. And more times than once, he felt like it would be the right thing to do. Still, for some reason, he just couldn't bring it up again. Maybe he felt that she'd already gone through an ordeal she never should have had to, and he saw no reason to dredge it back up again. Or maybe he was just afraid.

The question faded, eventually. But in the back of his mind, a possible answer started to emerge- something he'd known long ago, but hadn't completely understood.

At the end of the day, Starfire was strong.

[]

[]

[]

Scrapped idea: **Starfire's perspective**. I know that would have made the most sense- and I _just_ had that thing where I promised I'd try to get her in more of the stories- but I couldn't do it. The truth is, racism is a really sensitive topic, and... honestly, I don't have any experience with prejudice on this level. I don't know what it's like to be discriminated against, and I realized that I truly don't know what Starfire would be thinking and feeling during this story. So I figured I'd look at it from another angle.

[]

...That's tough. That's just really tough.

I've never felt more out of my element than I do right now, guys. Like... I have this thought that I should gauge how effective the anti-racist message is in this episode? And how sensitive it is, and if it works well while still carrying a coherent storyline, and... I just don't know. I feel like I don't have any grounds to be making that kind of decision.

This episode feels too big to talk about. Too real.

I'm really sorry if you're hoping that I have something profound and insightful to say about the racism theme, here, because I don't. I don't know if Val-Yor's attitude is accurate to the way people think (although I assume that, sometimes, it is), I don't know if the speech at the end is solid advice or not (again, I assume it is), and I don't know how each plot point works into the discussion. Val-Yor leaves without redeeming himself, or changing his mind- is that too harsh? Is it spot-on? When Starfire is able to dismiss the issue at the end, insisting that she'll be able to focus only on the people who matter, and not on those who judge her for her background... is that too neat and quick of a solution? Is it the ideal answer? Is it exactly right?

I'm just not sure.

[]

Some things that are easier to talk about: Starfire is obviously the spotlight in this one, and sweet Lord, she's becoming more and more of a wonderful character. Or maybe she's always been this good, and I haven't always realized it? Like I said in the story, she really gets a chance to shine- through awesome action scenes, but also through difficult mental situations, like the stress of moving those mines or the quick thinking required to navigate the last battle against the robots, all the while trying not to be affected by Val-Yor's opinions.

Speaking of, this guy's pretty interesting. He has an interesting design (seems familiar, though- is there a Marvel or DC superhero with this same kind of gray design, with a weird square head?) and a pretty great voice. We don't know much about him except his war with these robots, but that obviously takes a backseat to his prejudice toward Tamaraneans. That's not really explained much, and we only hear that 'some people' see them as a second-class species.

The fights and scenery in this one are wonderful, and I particularly like the design on the robots. It's actually kind of intimidating. And I think it's been a while since we've seen a giant Titans-all-at-once fight, yes? Once in the spaceship, and again on the planet's surface, we get some really complicated battle scenes. Example: some of the robots try to disorient Robin by sending a bunch of snake-like metal cables throughout the battlefield, but Beast Boy scampers along the wires as a squirrel, then turns into a crocodile at the last minute to eat them.

The writing- specifically, dialogue- is on point, too. The one line I mentioned earlier, "I do not take orders from you!", really hit me- it made me realize that the other Titans were getting so wrapped up in this mission, they didn't realize Val-Yor was basically calling all the shots. Later, when he tells her to stay with the ship, Starfire refuses openly, then states, "Besides- my people can withstand hostile conditions." She's talking about the battle, literally, but it's also a callback to when Val-Yor said that to convince her to go outside the ship. And, at the same time, it's a jab at the way he's been treating her, I think.

In a similar fashion, when he frustratedly yells, "You're just getting in the way!" Starfire doesn't waste time. She destroys about a dozen robots, then coolly says, "There is no one in your way now."

"I'm trying to pay you a compliment!" "Then why does it still sound like an insult?" Again, this is a little too real. This seemed a lot like a real argument that gets going whenever someone doesn't truly understand their own assumptions and racist tendencies. But even separate from that, it's another fantastic bit of writing.

[]

**Jokes: **"Please, explain why it is bad to be the old maid?" I love that someone had to set this up. Like, "Hey, want to play cards, everybody?" And everyone had to agree, and then they just spent the day playing some cards. And then spaceships showed up.

-Robin yells "TITANS, GO!" and then they run up to the roof to... just sorta watch.

-"All in a day's work." Beast Boy, with the shining hope of hero-worship in his eyes: "You do that EVERY DAY?"

-I really love how the Titans can drop everything and just go to space whenever they want. I'm not even being sarcastic. That's wondeful.

-"You wanna give it a spin?" Cyborg's offered a chance to fly the spaceship, with an advanced engine or something, and he literally can't speak words he's so excited.

-Val-Yor names them Champ, Spike, Metal-Butt, and, my personal favorite, Sunshine. For Raven, obviously.

-"Did we blow up yet?" "Yup. That's why you're still talking."

-Beast Boy, after clearly worrying about Starfire: "Never doubted her for a second! Raven, you really shouldn't worry so much."

-"And that's how we defeated Control Freak!" Oh, geez, Robin... those two were the absolute weirdest episodes. The Titans bungled their way to victory both times. If you're trying to impress this guy, that is NOT the story to tell.

[]

Thanks a million to guest reviewers! Particularly TheCrossroadsKid and Poetry- reading what you both have to say has been really encouraging. It means a lot, and I hope you both see this so you know I appreciate your feedback!

Next up: 'The Prophecy'.

...

...

...

See, now, I'm trying not to get my hopes up. But I REALLY, really want to see Raven's crazy story from 'Birthmark' continued, and it has to happen eventually. So... this one?

Let's go find out.


	48. The Prophecy

Season 4, Episode 7

**Destiny  
**

[]

I stand in the morning light.

I imagine it warms my skin, and before I open my eyes, I feel a quiet wind stirring in the haze of dawn. The air is... healing, here. I feel a safety in this space. A stillness that seems to promise both a new beginning and a place of rest.

It is a lie. Azarath cannot give me peace. Not anymore.

My eyes open, and I step to the edge of the balcony. The spires and towers before me are grand, wonderful sights- built by dreamers who wished to reach the heavens described to them in legends and songs. And their creations in turn inspired artists and poets to write of Azarath's wonders. So art begets art, begets art. But now, I cannot see its beauty, or hear the music of the wind as it sings.

I would forsake it all. I would choose exile, or death, if it meant I could save the child in my arms.

She stirs. Blinking, looking up at me with sleep in her eyes, she gives a gentle frown, as one who struggles to understand. My throat burns, and I cannot bring myself to tell her I'm sorry. I cannot cry for her.

Raven is so young. Pure. Innocent of the future. The hope I should see in her face is corrupted, reduced to nothing but fear when I remember what I know. Not a fear of physical pain, nor the dread of something unknown and unseen- the fear in my heart is new, a crippling terror that reminds me, with every heartbeat and every passing minute, of my own weakness. More importantly, of my inability to stop what is to come.

No flame can burn, no steel can cut as sharply as the horror of looking into my daughter's eyes. And still, I cannot speak to her.

Steps echo on the parapet behind me. A woman is holding a torch, about to step into the dim light, but she waits. She is stunned, surprised, and she casts her gaze away when she sees us. But the flames hold my interest, dancing and flickering with eager grace.

I have grown to despise the sight of fire. I shield the girl from the torch's light. When retreating footsteps tell me of my solitude, I look back to the golden city around me- the light of the sun will soon shimmer in the reflections of metal and glass, brighter than any inferno.

She sleeps, and she will wake again. Day will break and fade to night. The city will grow older, living and dying with its people. Fires will rage.

The future is coming, and I can do nothing to stop it.

[]

[]

[]

**Fearsome  
**

[]

The first time she made the journey, it was different. The vision of Azaroth- of her mother- was vivid and bright and painful in her mind, and she could focus on nothing else as she rushed to the demolition site. A blank, driving force kept her moving forward almost without thought, save the knowledge that her friends were in danger and she had to help them. She flew to the site, then into the library and through the ancient chambers. There wasn't time to reminisce, or to feel overwhelmed, or sorrowful, or worried, or anything at all.

Now, though, the journey carried her home. The chaotic defeat of Slade had preceded a hushed, tense agreement among the Titans to simply return to the Tower, and they hoped to understand whatever they could once back in the familiarity of a safe place.

"So, uh..."

Raven didn't turn his way, keeping her eyes trained on the night sky ahead of her. Eventually, Beast Boy coughed and tried again. "What'd you do, exactly?"

The wind fluttered the edges of her cape. A crescent moon shone down, providing just enough light to see the edge of the bay as the Titans approached. Just as she passed over the shore, Raven said, "In the fight?"

"Yeah." The flying morph kept pace with her, but she didn't look to see what kind of bird he was.

"I'll explain when we get back."

"Cool." It may have been the speed of the flight, but his voice sounded unsteady and small. "We're not scared of you, you know."

Raven said nothing.

"...I mean, we kind of are. And when you, uh- back there- you know." It was like he couldn't even talk about the fight, or the way she'd turned on Slade in a fury. The way she'd attacked him without holding back.

There was something bothering him. Usually, even if he was afraid, he'd be talking excitedly. But now, he sounded like he was choosing his words very carefully. "Slade told you we were scared, right?"

Waves shot past below them, nearly impossible to see. The island wasn't far. "Yes."

"We weren't, though. We just looked like it." When he spoke again, he seemed slightly more upbeat. "We know you wouldn't, like, hurt us or anything."

It was good to hear, but she couldn't get the incident out of her mind completely. Just before Slade had disappeared, she'd turned to see her friends watching her with shock. And she had been forced to realize that she _was_ capable of hurting them. She was certainly powerful enough. For all her promises and stubbornness, there was a very real chance that she wouldn't be able to save them. The thought hurt.

"So I guess, um..." Beast Boy paused. "I'm sorry we looked like we were afraid of you."

It cut through her worried thoughts, bringing a sense of confusion. "What?"

"Well, you know." He flew beside her in silence for a moment. Finally, he sighed. "They've looked at me like that before. It doesn't feel good."

Before Raven could process the words, he'd already plunged forward, flying more quickly towards the Tower.

He knew nothing about the destiny she would have to face. None of the Titans did. But still, he was trying to... what? Relate to her? Sympathize? But she suddenly felt the full weight of what he'd said, and it occurred to her that he wanted to help her overcome a different problem. He wanted to make sure she didn't feel like she was a monster, because he was confident she wasn't.

As the Titans returned home, and Raven prepared to explain what was happening, she had a sick feeling that Beast Boy's certainty would be put to the test.

[]

[]

[]

Good.

Stuff.

_This is so cool_. (Two reasons for the later update: one, I had a hard time writing it. Shockingly, it is rather difficult to write stories [this update] based around a story [this episode] when you don't know the whole story [this season]. I wanted to write about Azaroth, and this 'Trigon' name everyone seems scared of, and Slade's motivation, and anything else- but I couldn't just make details up, because these are things I assume will be part of the story later! So I was kind of at a loss.)

(The second reason is that my Internet went down yesterday. That was disappointing. So, before I get to everything else: sorry for the late update.)

Okay, let's talk revelations. A LOT of stuff was revealed here, and it's all just enticing enough to make you wish there was more. Actually seeing the place where Raven used to live was awesome, for starters; in case you couldn't tell, I really liked Azarath. The design seems very cool, and I love the idea that a lot of people used to live there. (And didn't Raven say something about Azarath way back in Season 1?)

At one point, Raven says, "Mother, please. Help me." That shocked me. I had no idea they were going to go this in-depth with her backstory.

Real question, if the answer is not a spoiler: Raven makes it sound like Azarath is a place she can go visit, real-time, when she wants. But her mother makes it sound like the place has already been destroyed? So, the question is, **Is Azarath a present-day place? Or is it in the past? Was it destroyed? Was the scene a vision, or a real meeting?**

Trigon's story is a little hazy for me. Cyborg acts really freaked out, but I don't think I recognize the name 'Trigon'. Should I know him from somewhere? Regardless, it's really awesome to have a name to put with the terrifying four red eyes and the deep voice.

Raven has some great moments of development, too. It's interesting to see her talk to Robin, since they seem to have personalities that are really similar in some ways. And I love Slade's accusation that, rather than him, she herself is the one putting the Titans in danger.

She sets up all the meditating and magic equipment without touching or even looking at any of the preparations. That's pretty awesome. And she even uses different magic words this time- that's how you KNOW it's serious. Of course, though, the most important thing is the information that she herself is the gem that will become a portal... that's a big deal, obviously, but there's been so much going on in this episode, I feel like I can't react as big and over-the-top and surprised as I want to be. I'm just too busy with all this other info.

For more technical stuff: the animation is superb. Creepy chanting skeletons, screeching ghosts (who I wish I knew more about!), and the settings are all top-notch in the way they're designed. Only problem, though. Everything's so dark, there were a few times I honestly couldn't see what was happening. The Titans would look into the distance, and I'd watch a black screen for a couple seconds.

Mostly, though, it's awesome. Even little things- like Cyborg's eyes watering when they're all falling- seem a really nice touch.

And the fights. Man, the fights are legendary here! During the first one, Slade seems to disappear without completing an objective- then the camera pans away to reveal the symbol burned into the city itself. And towards the end, Starfire actually has a big role in the battle- Slade's threatening the Titans, so Starfire grabs him from behind, throws him into a wall, then shoots a laser that knocks down the Raven-head statue and crushes him below.

Of course, Raven's final scene is pretty memorable. She throws Slade around like an uncooked pizza, then drags him back to the surface when he tries to sink away underground. And Slade's last line, about the Titans fearing her, is pretty interesting, even if the episode makes it look like they aren't really that scared.

One last thing. Near the end, Trigon promises Slade that he'll return something he lost. That's a heck of an interesting cliffhanger, but I really loved it for another reason. See, I didn't mention it back at 'Birthmark', but there was something that bugged me a little about Slade's reappearance in that episode, and I couldn't put my finger on it until I'd already posted the update. I was slightly disappointed that he was working for someone else. All the other times we've seen Slade, he has always had this mysterious air, like you can't predict what he'll do or what he's after. Now, though, it seemed like his role was reduced to being a messenger for someone else.

So I am absolutely THRILLED that he still has his own agenda.

It's not a lot, but the revelation that he wants something from Trigon really stuck with me. I'm so glad that he has his own plans in motion- or at least, something that keeps him his own character, and not constantly playing second fiddle. Also, I now can't stop wondering what he lost.

[]

**Funny stuff**: "Ugh. Slade kicks butt, take 304."

-I genuinely want to know where Raven gets all these books. They're full of magic and incantations, so they're clearly valuable- how did she get them all? Where'd they come from?

-Raven says, "Slade doesn't concern me." And Robin has this look on his face like he can't even fathom that statement.

-I swear, like an entire minute of serious revelation is derailed because B accidentally left a piece of tofu calzone on the mystic symbol.

-Slade is really into fire nowadays.

-Beast Boy just attacks Slade as a flying squirrel.

-Slade can CATCH STARBOLTS now. Whoa.

-The Titans use spit to figure out how deep the pit is. They are all incredibly serious.

-(Cyborg says he's getting a deja vu vibe.) Beast Boy frowns thoughtfully. "Not only that, but something about this place seems really familiar."

-Not content with throwing Slade into the wall, Raven throws the wall into Slade.

[]

Next up: 'Stranded'.

Hey, I have something to ask you guys. Like I said, the plan is to finish this season, and get to the fifth later in December when I get back from a long trip. And I've had several requests to do one for the movie, as well (I think I might try to make it a bigger deal than the usual updates- you know, kind of a 'last hurrah' thing). However, I recently ran across an interesting bit of information, and I wanted to run it past you.

...What comes to mind if I say the words 'lost episode'?


	49. Stranded

Season 4, Episode 8

**What Are Friends For?  
**

[]

Robin crossed his arms. "So, are you planning to leave anytime soon?" he asked sarcastically.

"SOON! SHA-LAA!"

Starfire had to smile as the team leader gritted his teeth and slapped his forehead at the sound of the exuberant aliens. They'd been aping his words every time he attempted to ask Raven a question, and it was clearly getting to him. "Everyone else is exhausted," he said. "We've been lost on an unfamiliar planet for a long time, and we're ready to go home."

Fanning branches waved, and exotic fruits were raised up. Raven glanced away from the extravagance long enough to turn her nose up at Robin. "...Just a few more minutes."

"FEW MORE MINUTES! SHA-LAA!"

The creatures were adorable, Starfire could admit. But their high-pitched chorus had grown more and more irritable. She would not be sorry to leave this place.

She watched Raven idly flick bits of food over Robin's head for a few seconds, until a jostling elbow gained her attention. "_Soooo_..." Beast Boy grinned, wiggling his eyebrows. "I heard _somebody_ had a pretty big day."

Frowning, she tilted her head. "Somebody? You are not certain who had the 'big day'?"

His smirk faltered. "What? No. No, I meant like- uh, I heard about- you know!"

"Congrats on officially being a couple, Star." From his position near the spaceship, Cyborg waved. Beast Boy glowered back, as if he was disappointed he hadn't been able to keep the joke going.

Starfire blinked. "Well, thank you-"

"For the record, I totally knew," Beast Boy interrupted. "For, like, months. It's been super obvious that you guys liked each other." He said it with a confident grin, and she was finding it difficult to keep up with how quickly he rattled off the words. Especially since she'd been trying to piece this all together so recently.

"Yeah, right!" Cyborg piped up again. "B, you once bet me twenty bucks that Robin was secretly g-" He paused."...Uh, _gonna_ stay single forever."

Beast Boy spun around, vehemently denying such a wager, and soon he'd bounded over to his friend, where they could continue arguing face-to-face. It was strange, Starfire considered: in a way, the two were treating her differently now that they'd heard the news about her and Robin. And yet, they were still very much the same.

Would that change?

"Hey." Robin was walking towards her, and he flashed a quick smile. "Looks like we're finally going home."

She chuckled. "Raven is willing to leave her new friends?"

"Looks like it." The girl in question was trying to move through the crowd without squishing any of the diminutive people, looking noticeably more annoyed than a few minutes before. She had pulled her hood down, and was trying to avoid saying anything clear enough to repeat. The cheerful unison indicated she was not succeeding.

Starfire clapped, looking towards the ship. "Then, home it is!"

"Hey, uh..." Robin looked down. "Are you- is this gonna be okay?"

"Hm?"

"This," he repeated, with a gesture toward the others. "Our team acting strange. Well, stranger."

Not understanding, she gave him a confused look, and he sighed. "It probably won't be exactly the way it used to with these guys. Or..." Robin rubbed the back of his neck. "Maybe it will. I don't know. Dating is... well, sometimes it makes your friends act differently. They might be kind of weird around us for a while."

It was starting to make sense. Starfire looked back over the unfamiliar ground to her friends, where she saw them talking and shouting and making jokes and a hundred other things that helped her believe everything was normal.

"So?" Robin was looking at her expectantly, with even a bit of an apology in his look, as if he felt like he wasn't explaining himself well.

She thought about it for a moment. "...If I am being honest, the person who acted the most strange today was you."

It caught him completely off guard. For a second, he had an entirely blank expression, but he started laughing soon after Starfire did. "Yeah," he admitted, still chuckling. "I guess I did."

"Don't worry." Smiling, she clasped her hands together. "I am sure that even if we have strange days and difficult conversations, we will still be a successful team."

Robin paused. "Right. I guess- I think I was worried about things changing if we started saying 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend'."

"GIRLFRIEND! SHA-LAA!"

He breathed deeply, eyes shut so tight it almost looked painful. "That's it. We're leaving."

As he turned and headed towards the ship, Starfire took a minute to consider what he'd said. Was it... normal for humans to be concerned about relationships such as this? Maybe the prospect of change frightened him. Or perhaps what he truly feared was the risk- a hesitation to move forward, because it could result in the loss of something he cared about. He said he had been worried about things changing.

...Had he been afraid to lose her friendship?

It seemed that human romance was more complicated than she had thought. Elements of fear and uncertainty hadn't occurred to her at all- and when she'd felt confused earlier, even momentarily losing her powers, she never thought that the confusion itself had a part to play in relationships. She would try to keep that in mind in the future. But, all the same- as she looked back to see her friends trading stories of their experiences on this planet, she could not help but think that Robin didn't need to worry. The Titans wouldn't think of them differently.

"Hey, Star! Let's go!" Cyborg's yell snapped her out of her thoughts. She started making her way back to the spaceship, eventually catching up with Robin. She gave him an encouraging smile as Beast Boy peppered him with questions and comments about the recent adventure.

The important thing was that, for all the team's strangeness, they were still her friends.

"So, Rob- how are we gonna explain to the world's governments that we accidentally blew up the International Space Station?"

And that would never truly change.

[]

[]

[]

(Scrapped idea: something about the **space station**. I just found it a really awesome location, especially with that monster. That was an amazing monster. I don't think we've had a straight-up monster in a while, right? Not a villain, so much, but a big, loud, scary monster. I like it. Wanted to write something with that, but I couldn't think of anything.)

[]

Here's a riddle for you guys. What do you call a large watercraft, outfitted with a lot of gunpower and naval weaponry?

WHY, I BELIEVE THAT WOULD BE A CANON SHIP.

In the past, I've gone on and on about how I don't really care about romance or shipping in this show. I really liked Beast Boy and Terra's interactions, and I wrote a few updates that hinted at a growing relationship with Beast Boy and Raven, but that was the extent of my interest in that area. In short, I really didn't care at all who was- or might be- a couple. Any hint of romance was always secondary to action, character, or plot.

...I think I'm finally starting to lighten up, in that respect.

This was the first episode to actually address romance directly, right? And with so much of the emphasis on Robin and Starfire's relationship, I can't keep avoiding it: I have to admit, it seems like there actually are parts of this show that can't be appreciated unless you're willing to consider the romantic aspect.

Or, in fewer words: shipping is real in this show. I can't pretend it's not.

So, does this affect our main characters? Well, as far as I can tell: not much. Cyborg's relaxed enough to be making jokes about the two, and Beast Boy seems chill with it as well (he OBVIOUSLY already knew, since he's joked about them being a couple before- I just wanted to pretend he didn't for the story). Raven is separated from the group the whole time, so that just leaves the main two.

Starfire says a couple of interesting things, and I'm trying to understand what it means for her. At first, she's upset that Robin wasn't willing to call her his girlfriend- she even asks him is she's not a 'girl' or a 'friend'. But later, she DOES appear to know what the term means, and has a pretty solid grasp on what a romantic relationship looks like. So... what's the real conflict? I _think_ she wants Robin to open up about what he feels, and be more honest. And I _think_ she's hoping that he likes her. But if that was the case, why would she be angry at him in most of this episode? Ugh, I'm starting to remember why I usually stay away from romance stuff. There's nothing wrong with it, but I personally have a hard time keeping track of all the drama.

Robin's pretty tough to figure out, too. It's been clear for a while that he likes Starfire, so I'm not entirely sure why he didn't want to think of them as a couple (Cyborg calls her his girlfriend near the beginning, and he instantly yells that she is NOT). I mean, as soon as everyone's separated, he's obviously more concerned about her than anyone else- so what gives? Like I mentioned, it's possible he was just freaked out by the idea of changing relationships, and didn't want to risk losing a friend- or maybe he was afraid that dating Starfire would somehow affect the team as a whole? I don't really know.

Hey, I have an idea. I think we're ready for the third official THEORY TIME! Today's question: Regardless of who you personally ship, we know for a fact that Robin has liked Starfire for a while, yes? So, **why was he so freaked out at the thought of being a couple?**

...Boy, I never thought I'd be running a discussion on the details of the romantic lives of animated characters.

There are some great action scenes worth mentioning before I get to the comedy. The opening fight in particular has some unique combinations of fighting; Raven throws Beast Boy and Cyborg forward on discs of energy, Cyborg tosses Beast Boy as a triceratops, and at one point, Raven even teleports Cyborg through a dark portal so he can pop up somewhere else and attack from there. It's hectic, to say the least.

Another example is a moment that actually gets a lot of focus, and is even repeated near the end: Robin and Starfire are falling like acrobats, and Starfire waits until the last minute before throwing him back to the surface, and gracefully flying up herself. Sounds rote in text form, but it looks really cool- especially when they use the technique to immediately defeat the monster. It bears repeating that the monster is really awesome and intimidating.

But aside from the Robin and Starfire stuff, this is mostly comedy. And it's really funny. Both Raven's story ('Sha-laa' made me laugh every single time- geez, those aliens were the _best_) and the whole sideplot with Beast Boy and Cyborg were both straight gold. Every time it switched to either one of those, the jokes got better and better. Particularly when you think everything's over, and four of the Titans are reunited- and then you remember Raven's still unaccounted for, and suddenly it switches to a scene of her living in luxury while everyone else has been going through these crazy shenanigans. Queen of the tiny people. Who'd have thought?

[]

**Leave 'Em with a Joke**: (Cyborg says, "I knew it. We got a malfunctioning bifurcating dilator.") Raven: "...Yeah. That was my first guess."

-(Robin tells Starfire she did great, lightly punches her shoulder) "I could not have done it without your assistance!" *punches Robin across the room*

-(Robin: "Uh... nice arm.") "I too admire YOUR abundant limb strength!" Starfire got a ton of hilarious lines in this one.

-When Cyborg calls her his girlfriend, Robin gets really mad- but he takes a solid five seconds just to breathe first, THEN gets angry.

-Oh, man. On one side, there's raging monster. On the other, a mad girlfriend. Robin has never looked more lost.

-"She's gonna blow!" Cut to a shot of Starfire, glaring at Robin with fire behind her. Yikes.

-"Give me space." Hey, I get it. Because he's literally trying to escape in the ship, to get to space.

-You guys, the ISS is a real thing. You can't just blow it up and forget about it! That's important!

-Beast Boy somehow woke up with his shoe on his face.

-And, not long after, he gives a dramatic monologue about how Cyborg was his best friend- all the while clutching the dismembered leg. That's a little creepy.

-Nothing particular for this one. I just think it's funny that the superheroes on an alien planet are having relationship problems.

-Beast Boy absently munches on a machine part, pretending it's a donut. And then he declares he once built a ten-speed bike, but in the flashback, it somehow explodes.

-Okay, the entire scene where Beast Boy tries to fix Cyborg is gold. There's a terrifying silhouette shot of him swinging a mallet down over and over, and Silkie somehow goes flying past. Then, he makes Cyborg into a weird bird thing(?), then a giant rocket- I think it's an anime reference? He even changes his clothes and hairstyle, for some reason. And triumphant, serious music is playing the whole time.

-"Did you hope the perilous space station explosion followed by our calamitous crash then combat with the horrible slug creature would make me forget?!" "Uh... yes?"

-Cy gives Beast Boy instructions, and we see him staring blankly, while a gust of wind blows past over his head, like a ghost town in the Old West. There is NOTHING happening in his brain at that moment.

-A SASQUATCH MORPH? I never knew that was something I wanted in my life! And Beast Boy uses it to slam two spaceships together until they fit.

-(Cyborg: "Why can't you just call it a configuration disc?") "Why can't _you_ just call it an eyeball-pizza-thingy!"

-Robin, while trying to apologize, gets launched off a cliff by a lava geyser.

-"I don't think you understand. ON our planet, 'girlfriend' means-" "A female with whom you have a pleasant and special association, including the sharing of enjoyable recreation, and occasionally the buying of bountiful floral arrangements." Robin just blinks. "...Okay, maybe you do understand."

-"Look, this isn't rocket science! ...Okay, so it _is_ rocket science."

-It's good to see Cyborg finally getting on Beast Boy's page. "Pull the red candy-cane thingamahoozy!"

-"I think... it's... awesome? The way you shoot starbolts?" Oh my Lord. Smooth, Robin.

[]

(Two apologies. In the last update, I completely forgot to write ANYTHING about the **twist that Trigon is Raven's father**. I think that's partially because, as I said, a lot of the stuff about Trigon kinda confused me to begin with, so maybe the big reveal wasn't as shocking to me as it might have been. But you guys had a ton to say in reviews, so I'm fairly sure I'm caught up with what's going on- and really, it absolutely is a great twist!)

(The other apology is because I honestly thought Beast Boy could talk in animal forms. Like, I was absolutely sure I could remember moments in the show where he was talking while still an animal. Sorry about that.)

Next up: 'Overdrive'. Later, dorks!


	50. Overdrive

Season 4, Episode 9

**Divide/Multiply  
**

[]

In his head, a guitar was playing. Not fancy, not expensive- not even the best sound. Just a humble little thing, plinking out notes in a lazy drawl, humming along in the background.

"I know your type, Numbers."

Billy opened an eye, covered by dark sunglasses. "..._Numerous_, hoss."

"Whatever." The detective leaned across the table, trying to pin him down with his glare. "You think it's no big deal. You think if you stick to petty robberies and broken ATM's, the police will leave you alone. Jump City has bigger fish to fry, am I right?"

Smirking, he leaned his chair back against the wall. "Took the words outta my mouth."

"Well, you thought wrong. They're onto you. _We're_ onto you." The man slammed his fist down on the flat surface. "Now, where's the stash?"

"The stash, sir?"

"Don't play dumb. You fit the profile for a string of unsolved minor thefts in the last eight months. You have millions in public and private funds. _Don't try to deny it_," he hissed when the felon started to lean forward.

"Oh, perish the thought." Billy was starting to get a kick out of the way his captor's brow furrowed whenever he spoke. He decided to accentuate his voice even more. "Y'see, bubba," he said slowly. "Seems I'm in no position to deny anythin'."

"Good." Still visibly irritated by the lazy twang in his words, the cop crossed his arms. "Well?"

"Simple. The money's on my person."

Billy waited a few seconds- just long enough to see a vein start to pop out on the man's forehead. "Now, I would'n lie to you, 'migo," he said brightly. "Cross my heart an' poke my eye, I got the cash with me right now."

He was running out of way's to properly understand how angry the detective was. Just before the man spoke, a blaring alarm sounded over the building's speakers. "Alert. Prisoner 35E-X has escaped. All available personnel, to the prison perimeter."

The man across the table cursed loudly, glancing to the hall outside before glaring at Billy again. "You're staying here," he growled. With a quick slam of the door- making sure to lock it with an electronic card from the outside- he took off down the hallway.

Billy let the chair fall forward, so he was sitting at the table properly. He sighed, giving a bored glance at the opposite wall.

"Say, Billy," he said conversationally. "Would you be so kind as t'read the number on this here bright orange suit?"

A snicker emanated from behind him. "Shore thing, Billy."

"Much obliged, Billy."

A pause. "...Looks like 35E-X."

"Heh. Figgered as much." Billy stood up from the table, then took a few casual steps toward the door. "Y'know, Billy, I do love bein' me."

"I know the feelin', Billy."

Just as he reached the exit, the door swung open. Billy gave a gracious nod to the figure standing there, holding the guard's card-key. "Posse all ready, Billy?"

"Sure as sugar." With a lazy kick, a passed-out guard slumped in the hallway groaned softly.

The now-useless key flew to the side, discarded. Billy stretched his arms over his head. "Now, boys," he said, "should we join up jes' yet? Or have ourselves some fun before-hand?"

Another short laugh came from the others. "You thinkin' what I'm thinkin', Billy?"

"Course I am." He smiled broadly.

A few minutes later, he stood near one of the prison's exits. The escaped convict was giving the guards and warden fits- they were probably chasing him all over the grounds now. Billy took a moment to visualize what this would look like from their perspective.

He could consolidate outside the campus entirely, ending the escape in an instant. Or he could pull the rug out from under them with the biggest prison escape the city had ever seen.

"Giddyup, fellas," he said with a whoop. The others didn't need to physically hear him, so he didn't bother with any kind of amplifier. He just hollered, then threw the door open.

Perfect. Armored cars and prison officials, roaming every which way across the lawns and pathways. Billy didn't even slow down. The shouts and warnings, telling him to stop or be apprehended with force, quickly turned into a different kind of clamor. Seeing the shock on their faces, he chanced a look over his shoulder.

Billy Numerous ran out of the building, with a thousand feet and a thousand hidden eyes.

"Sorry, but you're chasin' the wrong man. I'm the one you're lookin' for!"

"Naw, it's me!"

"Me!"

"I reckon it's me!"

The guitar started up in his mind again. He really did love being himself.

[]

[]

[]

**Add/Subtract**

[]

For a moment, he looked down at his arm in a daze.

...Sleep. As simple as a push of a button, he'd deactivated his body's need for sleep of any kind. Of course, it left him without a reliable way of restoring energy at all. But the boost the program would receive would be worth it. He wouldn't need it for too long, really.

Cyborg scowled. The boost... _he'd_ receive. Not the program.

The shift was already palpable. He flexed, experimentally scanning the power levels on weaponry and vitals. Sure enough, everything was operating more quickly. Stronger, too.

Good. He'd need that surplus to take down Billy.

...

This time, he hesitated.

The word flashed brightly, not far from his waiting hand. _Hunger_. He'd never considered diverting power from this particular source- if he went through with this, it would be difficult to recover. Even if he succeeded in his mission, even if he immediately switched the energy back to its normal conduits, it would take a long time to get back to his standard of health.

To suspend the process of converting food into energy... it wasn't a careless, easy decision. It would hurt. For days, probably.

But how much more powerful could the Max-7 become? How far could he push his own limits, if he was willing to give over a little more energy? After all, he reasoned, that's what exercise was all about- sacrificing comfort and pushing your physical body to the brink to accomplish more and more. And he couldn't just leave Billy Numerous running around the city.

He was doing the right thing. He was sure of it.

Resolute, Cyborg pressed the button.

...

The lot was empty. After the echoes of mocking laughter faded, there was nothing to indicate anyone had ever been there.

Billy was gone. He'd failed again.

Cyborg stood slowly, wincing in pain. The chase and too-short battle had taken their toll. This night was dragging on, and with every passing moment, he was reminded of what had gotten him into this mess.

The Max-7. The promise of getting _more_ done in a day, not less. And yet, here he was, consistently coming just short of apprehending the target.

...But maybe the program could be the solution, as well. He opened up the port on his forearm, scanning the various energy feeds.

Huh. 'Fun'. Again, something he'd never considered messing with. But desperate times...

Briefly, he wondered if the decision might have negative consequences. The 'sleep' and 'hunger' consolidations would probably bite him in the next few days. But fun wasn't necessary to survival.

He'd probably be fine.

...

Almost of its own volition, his fist rocketed forward, crashing into the metal surface of a light pole. He ignored the kickback in his arm, as well as the vibrations in his hand- the noticeable bend in the post was evidence enough.

Cyborg was mad.

They'd taken his car. Nobody _but nobody_ messed with the T-Car. Getting hit by a truck? Sure, it didn't feel great. But villains pulled stunts like that all the time.

But he drew the line at the T-Car. Billy would pay.

He didn't even think this time, ripping the protective gauntlet away and scanning for the last available power source. The Max-7 needed more, and he had more to give.

'Emotion'. _Hah_. That was the last thing he needed right now. He was furious, but he knew it wouldn't help him in his mission. He needed to be sharp. Faster. Stronger. Feelings didn't enter into the equation at all. Without pause, he entered the command.

It felt... good. He didn't need to see the readouts to know that his systems were flooded with more power than he knew what to do with. Normally, such an upgrade would be cause to whoop in celebration.

He didn't feel like it.

Both eyes, organic and mechanical, narrowed in concentration. A blank expression settled on Cyborg's face.

Time to catch the bad guy.

[]

[]

[]

(Scrapped idea: What if the chip didn't have any problems? What if Cyborg simply stayed in the empowered state, a super-Titan who could take down enemies without needing the others' help? How would they react? What would happen? Scrapped because I couldn't make a coherent story out of the idea.)

[]

I don't like Billy. I DO NOT like Billy. He's dumb, and annoying, and loud, and an all-around obnoxious character. I certainly don't think he's funny or cool!

He's dumb! Billy Numerous is dumb. I DON'T LIKE BILLY.

I don't- I... I don't...

...

I'm living a lie, folks. I freaking love Billy Numerous.

And the weird thing is, I keep feeling like I _shouldn't_. Like I should find him a really unfunny, grating, uninteresting villain. But weirdly, the individual elements that would normally bug me- the Western drawl, that stupid smirk, the lack of any real plan or motivation, the hilariously terrible 'Eh-heh-he' laugh- somehow combine to become much funnier, and much more _fun_. I don't know why, but this guy is as enjoyable to watch as a lot of the other villains I love.

Here's an example. At one point, he has them on the ropes. He's clearly defeating them, and they don't yet know how to stop him. And he just... leaves. As if he really did just want to rob the jewelry store, and didn't actually care about destroying them or ruling the city or anything like that. The next time we see him, he's robbing an ATM. He's a villain who literally, truly only cares about getting money from small-time heists.

...Come on. That's funny by itself.

And he only gets weirder from there. His plan seems like it's going to be epic: he eventually makes enough copies of himself to get an entire fleet of cars and trucks, and it looks like something huge is going down. The result? Turns out he's just stealing a bunch of random crap, including an elephant, a bunch of mirrors, a sombrero, and AN ENTIRE BRIDGE, for no reason at all. He shoves it all in a huge pile, then congratulates himself on what a good thief he is. For me, that was absolutely hilarious.

Also, during the part of the episode that's focusing on him, the show's music combines its normal action themes and fast-paced stuff with a bunch of twangy guitars. It really, really works, oddly enough.

But he's not really the focus of this episode, so let's talk about Cyborg. Now, this isn't the _most_ serious episode, but it's still _kind of_ serious. So I think I can be honest about something that bugged me a little, and it won't be dismissed as just a plot point of a goofy story.

As far as I can tell, part of his personality is a desire to better himself. That's cool, and commendable, but we've seen examples of that going too far- wishing he could go back to his human self in 'Deception', and his struggle to figure out what he truly wants in the Season Three finale. Both times (and probably in 'Only Human' as well) he has this intense need to change himself into something different, or make himself somehow 'better'. And those stories end the same way as this one- the rest of the Titans affirming that he's great the way he is, and they wouldn't want him to change anyway. Actually, now that I think about it, he makes that realization himself at the end of Season Three. So, to recap, this is a big part of him, and a question he's been faced with several times.

So why is he still asking that question?

Maybe I'm not fully understanding this, but why does he STILL think he has to make himself better? After all the times he's learned he doesn't have to, he continues to act like he has to push himself to be stronger and faster whenever he can, even at the cost of losing other parts of himself. And he seems like he doesn't really want to, but believes he has an _obligation_ to. And his friends just love him for who he is, you know? I feel like we're retreading the same lesson, and I'm not sure why it's necessary.

What do you think? Is there a good answer to this question, or am I taking this one too seriously? (Because the thought has definitely crossed my mind that maybe I'm just inventing confusion where there shouldn't be any.)

Anyway, along with that major question, there's a lot going on here, and it's all interesting. There's funny stuff- Cyborg waking up with an impossibly-happy greeting to the world; his schedule of giant meals, training, and cleaning his car; and crushing Beast Boy at video games but losing horribly to the others in basketball, chess, and weightlifting. But there's also a lot of surprisingly dark and complex moments. I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've seen anyone on this show get hit by a truck (Cyborg, who's fine, duh). And it was really tough to watch him get electrocuted and fall out of the sky with dramatic music playing.

And then, of course, there's this lovely image: the Titans wake up to see Cyborg, wired into a dozen cables and cords at the main computer. They ask if he's slept at all.

"Sleep is no longer required." Okay, then. I'm kind of scared now.

There's another part of that plot line I don't totally understand. Beast Boy has an unusual quote: he says that while he can turn into the strongest and fastest animals on earth, "Sometimes it's best to be a slow, tiny turtle." Is he saying that, in cases like this, it's better to forego powers and upgrades in favor of simpler stuff? Because the next thing that happens is a convoluted scheme involving a hundred holograms and a gigantic fight. That's practically more complicated than what Cyborg was gonna do.

Speaking of that, the ending's pretty great. I'm not totally sold on the 'holograms' explanation, but it still makes for a really cool fight scene, with hundreds of Titans and Billy's all over the place. And for some reason, all the enemies snap back together into one guy at the end. I don't know.

..._Wow_. Looking over this update, it really rambled, and I got off-topic like five times. I am genuinely sorry about that. But I really did like 'Overdrive'.

[]

**Comedy Hour: **"Just gotta read the instructions... and this warning... and these disclaimers, another warning, something in German..." That's the perfect way to introduce a story where something techy goes wrong. That's how I feel when I'm trying to read the instructions to ANY gadgets.

-Adonis shows up, and... laughs while people run away. Then he lifts some weights. Does he have any kind of evil plan? He must, because the Titans just immediately start shooting him with no other provocation.

-(Starfire, with the perfect descriptor of upgraded Cyborg): "Agreed. He now opens even larger cans of the butt-woop!"

-Cyborg coaches little league, learns Tamaranian, wins a spelling bee, and becomes a commercial spokesman in one day. Whoa.

-B's reactions to losing at video games get more and more emotional. He has steam coming from his ears, he's so mad, but later he ends up sobbing hysterically.

-"I thought our official marinade was Zorbrian spider juice." I'm just glad the Teen Titans have an official marinade at all.

-Starfire's so tired, she accidentally flies into a light pole. But she's so strong, she doesn't notice when she brings it down with her.

-Beast Boy: "If I don't get to sleep by sunrise, it seriously messes with my afternoon nap."

-Where could Billy Numerous POSSIBLY be taking this bridge? And why? That's the most random thing in an episode with _quite a few random things._

-"Nuthin'. An' if ya believe that, I got a bridge to sell ya!" Well, that's actually clever.

-(Just after Beast Boy's speech about the turtles): "That would have been a lot more profound without the hat."

-"Well, butter my backside an' call me a biscuit!" Billy Numerous, everybody. Somehow both affirming and betraying my faith in him as a favorite character.

[]

Once again, thank you to CrossroadsKid specifically! You rock, and I would send an individual thank-you message if y'all had a gosh-dang account already. Thanks for continuing to explain stuff.

Anyway, have an extra-quick update, everybody. This will NOT be the norm- I had a rare day off work today, so I had more time than usual.

Also, apparently I've been spelling 'Tamaranian' wrong this whole time! Who knew? I certainly never thought the word would show up visually. (In Cyborg's schedule, when he's going to 'learn Tamaranian' in like an hour.)

Next up: 'Mother Mae-Eye'.

...

I, uh, I don't know how to respond to that. What does that even mean?

Later, dorks!


	51. Mother Mae-Eye

Season 4, Episode 10

**Pandora's Pastry  
**

[]

"Hey, B!"

"Hey, Cyborg."

"Look what I got here, man! Eh? _Eh?_ You in?"

"...What's the catch?"

"Aw, come on! Don't tell me you're about to turn down a free pie!"

"Dude, don't even accuse me of something like that. I'm just saying, there's, like, a fifty-fifty shot that you spit in this or something."

"Alright, suit yourself. I'll just be over here."

"..."

"Eating this pie. All by myself."

"Hngh..."

"Mm. MM. Oh, it's just so sweet and tasty! I could eat this all day! In fact, I-"

"Shut up and give me a piece."

"Haha, there ya go! S'good, right?"

"Mm! Dude, this is awesome! Where's it from?"

"Uh, right. Well, I got it at this weird, uh... You know what? That's not important. What's important is how delicious this pie is!"

"For sure! Hey, we should see if Starfire and Raven want any. And Robin's around here somewhere, right?"

"..."

"Cy?"

"Huh? Oh... yeah. Kinda spaced out there for a sec."

"Ah, whatever. I'll bring 'em myself. Even... even cut 'em up in slices, like... like a, like a fancy..."

"...Beast Boy? You alright?"

"...Yeah, man. M'fine. Just gotta... haveta make sure the others try this pie. That's... that's what I gotta do."

"B, I... listen, man. I need to tell you something. That- this pie idea, I mean- this pie plan is the best plan you've ever had."

"Yeah, izznit? It's good. Issa good plan."

"Great plan."

"An' then... an' then, I think I- think I'm gonna take a nap, dude. I'm really... I'm feeling really tired alla sudden..."

"I'll take a nap with you, bro. Make sure- cause, that way, I'll... I can make sure you're, uh... not alone when you're sleepin'."

"...Cy?"

"Hm?"

"Think'll jus' leave it here n'a table... m'not really, not really feelin' like walking all the way to the hallway..."

"Sure'ts fine, B. They'll find it evta- evental- enlev- eventually."

"Yeah. I just... I hope Mother doesn't mind."

"Mother?"

"...Didn't I promise her I'd get ev'rybody to try, uh, to eat the pie? Coulda sworn I... I said somethin' like that..."

"Oh. I don't think that's... don't worry, man. She'll unners'and. She really loves everyone."

"Totally. We're lucky she's always around."

"Heh. Lucky. Lucky pie, lucky mother, lucky... lucky nap..."

"...Night, Cyborg."

"...isn'it only, like... eight o'clock... thought for sure..."

...

...

...

"Sleep tight, pookykins! Mother has a big day planned for you tomorrow. Don't worry your sweet little heads- your friends will be just as happy as you are soon!"

[]

[]

[]

**The Enemy of My Enemy (Is Still My Enemy)  
**

[]

"DON'T LET IT IN YOUR MOUTH!" Gizmo shrieked. "And I swear, if either one of you gum-suckers makes a joke about the way I phrased that, I will build a robot specifically to kill you!"

The mysterious purple sludge rained down around his head, and he yelped before covering his mouth with both hands. It was laborious, but necessary to ensure that none of the filling touched his mouth. Mammoth had taken nearly an hour to bring back to his senses- he didn't want to know how long it would be for himself.

Jinx's voice echoed across the room. "Isn't she ever gonna run out of these things?"

"Afraid not, dearie!" Mother Mae-Eye's high-pitched cackle made Gizmo wince and cover his ears. "Mommy will always have plenty of sweets and treats for her children!"

As if to counter the noise, a rumbling growl came from behind him. He turned to see Mammoth, cracking his knuckles and scanning the dark corners of the H.I.V.E. headquarters. "_Stop calling yourself that_," he hissed. Without warning, he spun and threw his fist forward- a haphazardly launched pie met with an explosive fate.

Gizmo blinked. "Where is that dirt-licker? I can't even see her!" Mammoth pointed behind a row of computers, and Gizmo followed his gaze.

The creature had given up her disguise long ago, now concentrating only on the barrage of pies that was meant to turn the three H.I.V.E. graduates back into compliant, unthinking 'children'. Gizmo shuddered to remember- hazily, as if he hadn't quite been there- the way he himself had gone about his day with a dopey grin, dutifully repeating phrases like 'I love you, Mother,' and 'Of course, Mother,' and 'Could you turn my socks back from inside-out, Mother?'

It made him sick. Almost as sick as the thought of ingesting any more of the gaudy, practically-radioactive-glowing candies and desserts she kept making.

He wanted to tell her as much, with slightly more colorful wording, but Mother Mae-Eye was already preparing another magic spell. "If you won't eat your pie," she said with a loud laugh, "Then maybe I'd better fix you some new snacks!"

With an explosion of light and glitter, the room was suddenly more cramped- small yellow spheres were rising up from the ground, each with an impossibly angry face. The miniature candies rolled their way towards Gizmo and Mammoth, with a multitude of tiny voices.

The pack on Gizmo's back was activated in an instant, and soon rotating blades whipped at the floor around him, keeping him free from any of the tumbling abominations. "Lemon drops?" he yelled. "No one likes lemon drops! Nobody even makes them anymore!"

"I kind of like lemon drops," Jinx said meekly.

"I DON'T CARE, JINX."

She huffed. "For your information-" A group of the candies was scooting towards her, and she paused to launch a hex that put a crack in the floor, stopping the progress completely. "I'm working on a way to bring her down. I just need a little more time to think."

"Well, think faster," Gizmo snapped. "And where are those snot-biting new guys?"

"They're out of commission," Mammoth said. "Ate a dozen pies each. They're gonna be sleeping for a while." He crushed several more lemon sweets against the ground.

"And doesn't that sound wonderful?" Mother Mae-Eye's grating voice was back, and more taunting than ever. "Wouldn't you like to just eat some more pie, and maybe have a nice nap? Mother thinks that's a splendid idea!"

Gizmo's eyes were twitching. "_You can take your splendid ideas and shove 'em_-"

"That's it!" Jinx interrupted excitedly. "'Mother'! Of course- it's so simple!"

"Huh?"

She was staring down at the floor, where a series of cracks and rifts in the concrete had resulted from her last spell. "The worst luck of all," she said with a grin. "No one else could pull it off."

"What are you talking about?" Another pie flew past his head, and Gizmo flinched as he awkwardly sidestepped more of the lemon candies, as well.

Jinx ignored him, looking at the other end of the room. "You want to be 'Mother' so bad? Well, get a load of this!" She glanced back down, then very deliberately-

-stepped-

-on-

-a-

-crack.

A horrendous scream ripped from the room's shadows, and soon all three could see Mother Mae-Eye limping out of the darkness. Her monstrous form was hunched over- soon, she couldn't walk at all, and was crawling among the lemon drops. "How COULD you?!" she rasped. "I've only ever tried to-"

"Nope." Gizmo shook his head vigorously. "No, no, nope nope _nope_. I'm not listening to any more of this puke." He kicked one of the candies across the room, then turned to Mammoth. "You got it?"

"I got it." Without wasting another second, Mammoth strode forward and hoisted the monster onto his shoulder. Completely oblivious to her ranting and yelling, he crossed to the headquarters' exit and threw the door open, leaning back before tossing Mother Mae-Eye as far out into the street as he could.

Another puff of magic resounded through the building, and in a few seconds, the lemon sweets had vanished completely. The slam of the door echoed, and Mammoth made his way back to the others.

The newfound quiet was disconcerting.

Finally, Gizmo coughed. "We never talk about this," he said with utmost seriousness. "Got it?"

Jinx rolled her eyes. "Don't have to tell me twice."

"Hey, guys!" They turned to the hallway entrance, where the H.I.V.E.'s newest two members were standing with sleepy, confused expressions. "What'd we miss?"

[]

[]

[]

...Sweet Danny Glover on a bicycle, _do I have a story to tell you guys_.

So I knew this was the last one before the three-part finale, and I figured it would probably be filler. But that's fine, right? It'll be silly, and I'll watch it quickly, and have a few laughs and write a goofy little review, and then we'll move on to the big stuff. That's what I was thinking.

Then I actually watched 'Mother Mae-Eye.'

...

I had a _reaction_ to this one. I don't know any other way to explain it.

I don't think 'scared' is quite the right descriptor, because I wasn't really afraid, so much. But for the length of the episode, I was deeply unsettled. I was nervous, and on-edge, and kind of all-around freaked out.

Don't get me wrong- with some of the Slade episodes, and a few that focused on Raven, I really have been scared. And intimidated? Definitely. But this was something completely different, and I'm not sure I can explain it.

Take the opening, for example. The Titans are all sleeping on the floor of the main room, and when they wake up, they're groggy and confused. Why are they there? What's going on? They can't even remember what happened the day before. Then this lady shows up, and they all start thanking her and smiling and talking about how much they love her.

For me, personally- and I'm still not sure why- this was the scariest scene. There's no explanation yet. The viewer is left to slowly wonder, "What's going on?" And there's nothing overtly terrifying, in the music or animation or dialogue. It's all so happy and bright and over-the-top that you just KNOW something's wrong. Every time Mother shows up, you expect her to do something terrifying. But she doesn't. For most of this episode, she just keeps smiling, and offering little bits of advice, and being so sickeningly cutesy that... I don't know. I couldn't handle it. There's nothing obviously scary about her, and for some reason, that made me even more freaked out.

(I mean, I saw the hint near the beginning- where she's her normal, monster self in the reflection of the mirror- but still.)

Then the details get added in. The glowing pink eyes when the Titans are hypnotized. The magic spells, all cheerful and light and _hiding something_. The dialogue that doesn't make sense, about how she's 'always been here' and 'loves us more than anything in the world'. Again, she can't hold a candle to Slade if we're talking intimidating or frightening villains. But for me, she is absolutely the _creepiest_ villain. And I know this isn't a dramatic episode, but I was still unsettled in a way I haven't felt in a long time. Near the end- even when the Titans were only pretending to be under her control- I started feeling kind of sick.

It actually led me to wonder if I have some issues with stories that involve mind-control stuff? I hadn't really considered it before this, but every time one of the Titans said something with that dopey grin and pink glow, I just shuddered. It messed with me, guys. And after the fact, I realized I can remember specific moments from TV and movies that really scared me as a kid- like, scenes and stories that stayed with me for years and years- and they, too, had to do with this theme. Characters you know and love, suddenly reduced to nothing but a blank look and a flat voice, all the while smiling and insisting everything's great.

...I don't know. I honestly don't know how I should try to process all this. It's probably not that big of a deal, and I'm making it more dramatic than it needs to be.

Anyway, there were a lot of moments that, if I hadn't been having my little crisis, I probably would have been really excited about. The H.I.V.E., for one thing- I hadn't realized how much I missed these guys! I don't recognize the two new guys, with the shield and the eye-thing, but Jinx is as classy as ever, Mammoth is still a beast, and Gizmo is still a tiny angry bundle of near-constant confusion (and he can use the mech-pack to transform, which is wonderful).

And both big fight scenes are great. When the Titans are fighting the H.I.V.E., and their ridiculous costumes make them fail at everything they try, it's a ton of fun. And the fight near the end with the gingerbread army is exactly as off-the-wall as it sounds. The cookies form a giant gingerbread man. Then Beast Boy eats them in one T-Rex bite. Then they come back as patched-together, zombified gingerbread men. Point for point, it gets weirder and weirder.

And I'm pretty sure Mother's plan was to literally bake them into a pie and eat them, Chicken-Run style. That made me laugh, I don't know. It's dumb, but I liked it.

The end's funny, too. Raven somehow makes a black hole/portal inside the pie, and Mother Mae-Eye along with all her nonsense decorations are all swept inside. So, of course, they give it to the H.I.V.E.

So, in short, the episode really is pretty funny. And, objectively, I think I would have liked it as a good, humorous episode.

I guess being objective isn't always gonna work out.

[]

**Jokes for the whole family**: "...surrounded by sugar, spice, and everything nice!" Well, that's a random reference. And isn't it trademarked or something?

-Robin putting the gel in his hair is hilarious. It takes like a quarter of a second, then he does action poses.

-Mother just offered to clean Starfire's 'nose-boogeys'.

-Starfire gets a poofy sweater, Beast Boy gets a rabbit costume, Raven gets a dress and pigtails, and Cyborg gets... a poncho, for some reason. Rain gear. Huh.

-Mother Mae-Eye, to Raven: "Just because you're evil on the _inside_..." Holy crap, lady! That's a low blow!

-Okay, this is genius. They're gearing up to fight the HIVE, their mortal enemies... and they're embarrassed because Mother is calling from the car and waving and stuff.

-And Mammoth just gave Robin an atomic wedgie.

-The eye-guy says something about X-Ray vision, and Starfire immediately tries to cover herself with her arms. There's an adult joke for ya, I guess. Pretty random, though.

-("Friends! Awaken! Alarm! The Mother Mae-Eye is not truly our mother, but an evil witch who has tricked us all and invaded our home and forbidden our missions and stolen our boogers and keeps us under her spell with frequent and plentiful helpings of enchanted pie!"

"So... what now?"

"I think she's sayin' she wants more pie.")

-I'm pretty sure Starfire just cussed Mother out in Tamaranian. Then, this gem: "MY FRIENDS ARE NOT PIE!"

-"Never have I been so thankful to have nine stomachs." Whoa.

-'Starfire is a boss' moment of the day: the rest of the Titans are still hypnotized, so she_ brains them all with a rolling pin_. That's awesome.

-"Why am I in a giant pie?" "Why am I in a bunny suit?" "Why am I in a _dress?_" These are valid questions.

-Mother decides to trap the Titans in tiny jars, fridge magnets, and jell-O.

-Not terribly funny, but did Beast Boy just do an Abominable Snowman morph? I think he did!

-They hide under little crocheted cozies to escape Mother.

-There's a very confusing sequence where the Titans are running in the fabric she's sewing, and then on the swirls of a lollipop she's holding.

-Beast Boy asks if Mother is trapped in the pie. Raven, with one of the best line deliveries ever: "Eh, sure, why not." Trust me, the way her voice actress says it is hilarious.

-And apparently, the H.I.V.E. had a front door that anyone could just knock on this whole time.

[]

I really am sorry I wasn't able to be a better reviewer about this one, everybody. It got weirdly personal in a way I didn't expect.

But now we can move on! Because next up is...

...

GUYS

GUYS

IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING

'THE END, PART 1'

**#WHATISTRIGONPLANNING**

**#WHATWILLHAPPENTORAVEN**

**#WHATDOESSLADEWANT**

**#HYPE2015**

Later, dorks!


	52. The End, pt 1

Season 4, Episode 11

**Safe Place  
**

[]

Eyes closed, Raven couldn't help but sense the room around her. The buzz of the electricity in the barriers. The low hum of the machines, wired to a system meant to keep the area safe. The mild, dry air, with the flat smell of metal. Beast Boy's unbearable pacing, back and forth, in the adjoining room- they probably thought she couldn't hear them through the one-way glass.

She could. Not enough to pinpoint distinct words, but enough to know that they were worried.

As they _should_ have been. Her brow furrowed as she remembered the conversations they'd had recently. No matter how thorough her explanation, it was as if the Titans refused to understand the danger. Like they were unable to comprehend what was going on. Or, maybe, simply that they didn't want to.

Raven did her best to shake the thoughts from her mind. Falling back into her meditative mindset, she resigned herself to a long period of nothing but waiting. It seemed to be a popular pastime of hers, lately- waiting for her birthday, for midnight, for the unbearable hours that followed, waiting for Slade's message, waiting for the damning words of Trigon himself... She was getting sick of waiting.

But, really, what else could she do? The question echoed in her thoughts, not bitter and sarcastic but legitimate. Was there anything else, any detail she'd overlooked? Any action that she could take? For a brief moment, she tried to visualize such a situation- suddenly realizing a forgotten trick that could somehow save her, she would end this reluctant exile and join her friends with the knowledge. Together, they could use it to stop Trigon from appearing at all, and stop the prophecy in its tracks. Together, they could save the world.

...But Raven was far too pragmatic to dwell on fantasy for long.

There really was nothing. That, she realized, was the most difficult element to explain to her friends. The other Titans had always been able to find a way out of a difficult situation- with all her powers and arcane experience, sometimes she felt that the real magic was the group's ability to conjure seemingly insignificant elements out of an impossible battle, and use those details to subvert the odds completely. It was tempting to entertain the notion that they could do so, here.

But she knew. They didn't. Trigon didn't even deserve mention with the other villains and problems the Titans had faced. They had no idea how strong he was.

Could it really be called bravery, she wondered, to be unafraid of something not understood? Her friends were ignorant of Trigon's power, but did that make them fools or commendable? Their confidence was... well, 'inspiring' wasn't the right word. But there was something there, she was sure of it. Perhaps she was simply appreciating blind determination and unyielding, unquestioning stubbornness because, at the end of the day, she had very little experience with either. She knew what it was like to be hopeless, though. Hopeless in the face of a truly hopeless future. She felt it now, and it was something she knew she couldn't make them understand. Besides, was it even right to try?

The simple question broke through all her philosophical wonderings. Was any of this right? Attempting to convince them that their task was futile- could she justify that, even if she was technically right? Instead of telling them to avoid the fighting, should she have told them to take heart, hoping that their last moments would be of joy instead of fear?

After another moment, she scowled. It didn't matter, really, because they would never accept such a decision anyway. They would respectfully ignore any warning she might give, choosing to fight. Just as Beast Boy had said- "Doesn't mean we can't try."

The wildest, most fanciful plan of escape she could imagine wouldn't hold a candle to the Titans' determination. She _knew_ that. So... why was she so frustrated that they refused to listen? Was it because she still, deep down, held onto the faint hope that she might convince Trigon to spare them? That some kind of deal could be made? In those words, it sounded foolish- Trigon would never agree to any such bargain. And the Titans' demise had been an integral part of the vision she'd been shown.

No, the Titans were doomed. As was she. And... everyone else, really. Unless her friends suddenly abandoned their convictions and fled in the Titan spaceship, they wouldn't be long for the world. So why did she still feel this way?

...Because, she suddenly realized: they _were_ still holding onto those convictions. Loyalty. Perseverance. Friendship. And no matter how forcefully she reminded herself of the futility of the situation, she couldn't avoid the nagging thought that she... wasn't.

In their last moments, four of the Teen Titans were clinging to the hero's creed, fighting for life and justice and humanity until their last breath. But what about her?

Had she given up?

Raven tensed. No, no, that... that wasn't right. She had reasons for trying to make them see. She couldn't be blamed for fully understanding the inevitability of it all. And yet, it still hurt. There was still a taunting, whispering voice that told her how heroic they were- that they were the _real_ heroes.

Real heroes who were about to die.

Raven still didn't open her eyes. The room buzzed and flickered softly, and behind the glass, the Titans surely wondered what she was thinking.

She breathed deeply, unable to escape the finality of her thoughts. Maybe... maybe heroism had never truly been a part of her destiny.

And then Trigon spoke directly to her.

[]

[]

[]

**Battlefield  
**

[]

_Save Raven. _

She was worried. The obvious reasons stuck out in her mind- Raven's choice to follow Slade willingly, the disastrous battle, the Titans' failure to stop it all… But there was something more. Something deeper, that scared her in a way she didn't fully understand.

She didn't truly believe the world was going to end. She had faith that they could stop it. But still, something pulled at her.

There were times when she felt responsible for the well-being of the team. As if they were a family that needed to be protected, and she was the one to help them grow or forgive each other or see the positive side of their problems. And never had she felt more like she had failed in that respect. She'd given her all in the battle, with nothing to show for it. With unwavering hope and certainty, she had done everything she could to help her friend, and yet… Raven had struck her down with black lightning.

Ah, yes. That, she supposed, was another reason for her worry. It confounded and horrified her that Raven was so committed to this promise, so convinced of her own destiny, that she had been willing to physically hurt them.

It left her broken. She had no doubt her powers had suffered, but the repercussions were most clear in her own mind. Every thought, every emotion was clouded by the events of what had happened. There seemed no way to make sense of it all. No way to move forward.

Even as she flew, hoping desperately to reach Raven before it was too late, she could not escape the terrible thought that she truly did not understand her friend.

[]

_Save Raven._

He was determined. As the details surrounding Raven's fear had come to light, he'd become more and more committed to putting a stop to the entire sequence. But Slade's reappearance had changed everything- now, not only were they dealing with a familiar face, but they were also going up against power on a level he'd never dreamed of. Known, yet infuriatingly mysterious.

He hadn't thought twice- he'd simply fought Slade. There was never a concern that perhaps someone else should play the role. Without a moment's doubt, he had dashed toward the villain and engaged in combat, falling back into movements and attacks that felt almost comforting in their familiarity. Obviously he couldn't predict Slade's fighting, with his newfound powers, but he at least knew where he was meant to be. Taking the brunt of the enemy's strength, facing off against their strongest fighter, to defend Raven. To save the world.

Until, of course, Slade had won.

He'd fought hard. He'd given the fight everything he could short of relapsing into an uncoordinated rage, but it hadn't been enough. Even without the fire-monsters at his side, he knew Slade could have defeated him. More than the speed and force behind his blows, more than the glowing sigil on his forehead or the fire in his hands- it was an arrogance, similar to and different from the cocky nature he'd seen before. Now, Slade didn't only seem sure of victory- he seemed sure of something larger than himself. The way he spoke suggested not a driven fighter who was ready to do anything, but a prophet who knew his actions were in the service of another.

When he'd seen that look in Slade's eye, he'd realized what Raven was talking about. He understood the defeat in her expression and the hopelessness in her voice.

It was inevitable.

Even so, he'd fought. He had to, and not just because it was Slade. He'd fought because he knew he couldn't let a single moment pass when he could have taken it, and he couldn't live with himself if, looking back, he knew there was more he could have done. There could be no mistakes- even one would instantly become the opening Slade needed.

There had been no mistakes. Slade had won anyway.

It hurt. More than the physical defeat, it hurt him to realize that, once again, he'd been unable to protect his friends from Slade. After everything he'd learned, and the ways he'd changed since his obsession… he still couldn't be who he wanted to be. He couldn't shut Slade away, no matter how hard he fought.

And while running, while chasing the monsters who'd ripped Raven out of his world, he told himself that _this_ time, it would be different. This time, they would save her. The words rang hollow in his own ears.

[]

_Save Raven._

He was exhausted. Plugging into the Tower's network had been… exhilarating, to say the least. But the sensation of such unlimited power had paled in comparison to the moments after- when the light faded, and the sound dimmed, and the awesome reverberations of the attack had drifted away. When he'd lowered the guns, and looked out over the battle, and realized that the monsters were still coming, undeterred.

He hadn't even slowed them down.

The complete reversal was too much to process. The violent extremes of every second wore on his mind, and he'd never felt more tired. First, the startled panic of seeing so many creatures all fighting at once. Then, the unheard-of and daring thought to even _attempt_ the Tower trick. And the absolute amazement when the systems had come online, and he'd been able to divert all available energy into the cannons.

Finally, the numbing shock when it had failed. He'd watched the monsters swarm forward in hordes of fire and shadow, and the stress on his mind and body had left him unable to think of anything except the most basic despair: if this hadn't succeeded in driving them back, what could?

He almost hadn't been able to comprehend what was happening when Raven had walked out. For him, the following minutes were a blur- she'd said something to Slade, and then the magic had reared up and knocked them all out, and suddenly they were on their feet and trying to come up with a plan of pursuit. In fact, he could barely focus on any of that. His thoughts were locked onto the fight.

…How could he have failed so badly?

Part of him knew the logic was faulty, that it wasn't entirely his fault. But he'd known about the possibility for a while. Tapping into the Tower's energy grid had been an half-formed idea long before this, and he'd been viewing it as the natural extension of his attempts to better himself. Upgrading a machine was so similar to training a human body, and yet so infuriatingly different.

This was it. This was the opportunity to finally reconcile the struggle in his mind, the never-ending dichotomy of man and computer. A chance to use every bit of his intellect and processing power and physical strength and technological advances and make it work together. To make every part of himself stronger. To be _more_ than he had been.

And when it had counted most, he'd failed. Yet again, he'd met a challenge with a woefully inadequate response. The others would surely say it wasn't his fault, and he couldn't blame himself, but that knowledge did nothing to help him- he couldn't stop thinking of the way Raven had made the decision just after his attack. Like she'd been waiting, maybe even hoping for the last-ditch effort to succeed.

He moved quickly, with the other Titans, betraying none of the thoughts that terrorized his mind. But he couldn't help thinking that he'd let Raven down, and now everyone was going to suffer for it.

[]

_Save Raven. _

He was terrified. He'd never, with all his mental faculties completely intact, actually _tried_ to become the Beast- and it was an experience he couldn't describe. But through all the tearing and gashing and clawing and biting and ripping the monsters apart, he'd held onto what Raven had once told him. The Beast didn't make him evil. If he controlled it, and knew exactly when to use it, it made him a man. Back then, the Beast had been intended to save her- and he was going to do it again. Through the chilling transformation, and the hectic battle, and the near-the-edge sensation of holding limitless power while using it for good, he'd kept hold of his sanity and avoided losing control completely by reminding himself of the reason for it all. The Beast was only here to save Raven. To protect her, and to make sure nobody- not fire monsters, not Slade, not even Trigon- could get to her.

…He hadn't realized it right away. The painful darkness clouded his vision, and it took him a while to remember that he'd been struck down in the fight. Then, the knowledge that the Titans had lost. Next, the memory of Raven herself casting a magic spell that threw them to the ground.

Finally, it coalesced, and he was faced with the horrifying understanding that he'd failed. Even with the Beast, he'd failed.

What did that mean? If using the Beast to rescue Raven made him a man, what was he now? How could he move on, if his best and strongest wasn't enough?

He'd been lost, almost lifeless, until they'd started the chase. Even then, it was nearly impossible to keep his thoughts straight. One moment, he was reliving the most vivid and horrific moments of the fight- the next, he was remembering staring up at a jet of black magic, wondering how he could have gone from Raven's confidante to someone she didn't hesitate to strike down.

Wait, that… that wasn't right. It couldn't be. But the suspicion started to grow, and grow, and soon he was trapped in an idea of his own imagining. She'd been acting despondent and resigned, hadn't she? Like she really believed there was no way to stop Trigon. And then she'd turned away from them, voluntarily following Slade.

As if she didn't think it was worth it to even try. Like… the _Titans_ weren't worth it.

The thought made him choke with anger, and he had no doubt that his recent time as the Beast was affecting his thoughts, but he couldn't stop thinking about it. Why would she do something so horrible? How could she have so little faith in them? His head was spinning, and part of him continued to object, that he was thinking about all this the wrong way. That voice was getting quieter.

He soared quickly, bearing down on the villains, and desperately tried to keep his mind free of the fear, and the doubt, and the suspicion, and the guilt.

[]

The Teen Titans arrived at the catacombs. Their friend, and their lives, and the world itself hung in the balance.

They entered.

[]

[]

[]

(Scrapped idea: any look at the very end of the episode, after Trigon appears. I figured, since it's a three-part story, there's no need to look at the end, since we're about to see what happens next anyway.)

[]

**I did the thing again, where I try to delve into psychology and character-studies and stuff. It's possible that 99% of the things I guessed at in the above stories are not really true at all. If that's the case, feel free to tell me so in a review.**

SO HERE'S THE SITCH: The main cast are all in the library-cave thing from before. Slade just got burned HARD by Trigon, so who knows what he's gonna do now- but everyone else is in this one cavern, where Raven just turned into the portal for Trigon to appear through, and the rest of the Titans are trapped behind a wall of Raven's magic.

That's where we are. That's the end of the episode.

...

I don't know, guys! I'm running out of things to say. I can't say I'm blown away, or impressed beyond belief, or having a ton of fun, or absolutely shocked and stunned by how good this story is, because I'm pretty sure I've said all those exact things before! Where do we go from here? What else do we even do?

Well, we can ask a question. That's always fun. So... THEORY TIME!

Today's question: **What does Raven really think about her destiny, right now?** I ask because sometimes, she's very defiant, telling Trigon that she'll never do what he wants, and she's going to fight to change things. But other times, she seems completely defeated, and tells the Titans that nothing they do will make a difference. And, obviously, at the end of the episode, she decides that she really is going to accept the prophecy- but why? Why NOT fight? If she's right, and there really is nothing she can do to stop it, why go quietly? Isn't it worth it to at least try? Several times, she tells the Titans to run away and save themselves, but if the entire WORLD is going to burn, what's the point?

So, beyond that, _everything is finally happening_. The prophecy we heard about way back in the beginning of the season has officially started, and Trigon is here. It honestly makes it a little hard to remember everything about the REST of the episode, since I'm so excited about the ending, but let's try anyway.

Raven's worry manifests itself as a fake, stressed-out cheerfulness. That's absolutely brilliant. Seriously, I'm really impressed by that choice, because it allows for plenty of comedic moments, but also makes it very clear that something's off. So every time she's trying to get the Titans to do goofy fun stuff, it works doubly well.

Plasmus is cooler than he used to be! His powers and attacks are more varied- he splits apart, combines at will, moves more fluidly... He's alright in my book. The fight with him is pretty fun.

And then, of course, things get more serious. As soon as the eclipse happens (by the way, Trigon, that's totally cheating, you said DUSK), we get two amazing scenes. First is when Raven is staying in that small cell, and the Titans are trying to hide her from Trigon. (Starfire mentions that's what they're doing, and Raven says, "You can't." Without blinking, Robin says, "We _will_." Not "We can," or "We have to." I really like that.) They're drawn in nothing but red and black while they're watching her through the glass, and it makes for a very eerie effect. And at the same time, Raven is talking to Trigon in her mind- right when she says "I'm nothing like you," the four red eyes show up. Nice.

So those two sides of that scene build up a lot of tension, and then we get an absolutely incredible fight scene. The army of fire monsters is amazing. The epic rock- not peppy, goofy fight music- is amazing. But more importantly, the _Titans_ are amazing. Each of the four (Raven's still in the building at this point) do huge, incredible things- Robin has his rematch with Slade, Starfire unleashes insanely strong starbolt attacks, Beast Boy FINALLY uses the Beast morph again, and Cyborg, as mentioned, hooks up to the Tower.

Cyborg connects to the Tower. And then, just before decimating dozens of monsters, he booms, "NO ONE'S GETTIN' IN HERE!" It's awesome. In fact, all the Titans take out dozens and dozens of the fire-creatures. But it's not enough.

They get the best fight scene ever, and it's _not enough_.

And to top it off, it ends with Raven knocking them all out with a magic attack (that looks incredibly painful, by the way). The end was amazing, but I think this scene was the most painful part of the episode.

Now, I have an argument. I would propose that this is just as much Slade's episode as it is Raven's. Seriously, he's a huge part of most of what happens. From the very beginning, when he delivers an instant-classic line: "It's a beautiful day for the end of the world."

But when he's bringing Raven to the library, and calls her a pawn in Trigon's game, she responds with, "Then I guess we have that in common." Suddenly, Slade realizes that the army isn't answering to him, exactly- they're actually following _Raven_ more than him. She commands them to leave him alone, and they just follow her away.

And then, he actually does get betrayed. We still don't know exactly what he wanted from Trigon, but it's exponentially more interesting now that the guy's not gonna give it to him. Without the powers, and without his reward, what's Slade gonna do?

I can't wait to find out.

[]

**Jokes: **("Can't I just do something nice for my friends?") "Yeah, but... you never have before."

-The pancakes scene is amazing. The four varied reactions to how bad the food is, the storm cloud slowly flooding the room with Raven's sadness, and the fact that Starfire actually wants more. She holds out the plate with her eyes closed, so she doesn't notice that the pancakes she gets are the unwanted leftovers of the other three plates.

-"So, I was thinking... after breakfast, do you guys wanna maybe, you know, hang out or something?" Painful smile. With cracking noises. That's Raven for ya.

-Oh my Lord. Cyborg picks up AN ENTIRE BUILDING to fight Plasmus with. Wow.

-Starfire DEMANDS the last piece of pizza, glowy-eyes, and slams her fist down hard enough to shake the city.

-(Extreme Stankball, and Raven agrees.) "But you hate anything extreme! Or stanky!"

[]

Next up: 'The End, Part 2'. (I THINK THAT'S FAIRLY OBVIOUS AT THIS POINT, BUT I WANT TO KEEP THE STRUCTURE INTACT.)

Here's the plan. I'll be away from my computer this week until Saturday, when I'll get started on the writing for Part 2. That gives me another ten days or so just to finish Part 3, so we should have plenty of time to make sure they're halfway decent.

I repeat: I won't update again until Saturday at the earliest. And I won't be responding with thank-you messages until then, either.

ALERT. WE HAVE FOUND THE LUCKY PENNY. I REPEAT, THE LUCKY PENNY HAS BEEN SIGHTED.

Later, dorks!


	53. The End, pt 2

Season 4, Episode 12

**Limbus  
**

[]

A burn is a curious thing.

For an instant, for the briefest of moments, there is no pain. But the mind is quick. The knowledge of what _will_ be is only makes the pain worse. The skin will blister and tear. The blood will boil. The flesh will sear. Nerves will die.

There is a time, fleeting and unstoppable, in which I feel no pain. Magma consumes my bones faster than I can comprehend.

I die.

Before the end, before the darkness, I feel it. Fire reaches into every cell of my being, tearing life from limb and reducing me to nothing. A thousand explosions violate my senses until the promise of oblivion is welcome. The pain does not last long.

My consciousness ends in torment, and is revived in peace.

The world before me cannot be described. It is not in darkness, because darkness necessitates an absence of light. This place has nothing to illuminate. Nothing to hide.

I am slow to understand that I cannot see. I cannot hear. I cannot prove that I exist.

And yet, somehow, there is a command. A chance for salvation. And when I accept, when every part of my being cries out for deliverance, I am granted a vision of my benefactor. Eyes that were burned away live again, and I can see red lights in the darkness.

Fire. A sigil. Caverns. Shadows. All is revealed, yet again, I lack wisdom. Just as my body could not immediately respond to the lava, my mind cannot fathom where I am. Cannot fathom what has happened, or what I have done.

The same sensation as the others. The moment of shock during Terra's betrayal. The blank thoughtlessness of the fall. The horrific confusion just before the heat of the magma. But as those instants passed, so too does the confusion become clarity, and I understand.

I have been given a gift. I have been given an assignment. I have been given a promise.

I will do what I must.

[]

[]

[]

**Deviants  
**

[]

It's electrifying.

It hurts at first, being torn away from his body. And there's a sense of being _wrong_, as if he destroyed some kind of line that was never meant to be crossed at all. But the feeling fades quickly, because Cyborg realizes that he's free.

Everything slow and quiet and thoughtful, every simpering moral and stagnating hesitation, is gone- packed away in the pathetic weakling staring back at him in shock. Cyborg has to grin, because suddenly he feels like he can do anything he wants. Forget the worrying about right and wrong. Forget the limits of what he can and can't do.

He's stronger than he's ever been. And the clone, the 'real' Cyborg, is looking more and more irritating. Just standing there with a stupid look on his face, like he can't believe what happened. He probably can't. He always had trouble with big ideas.

He shudders, because it feels _good_. All the flaws he was ever worried about are someone else's problem, now. And the more he thinks about it, the more angry he gets- always feeling like he wasn't good enough, like he wouldn't be accepted. The fear that his friends would one day leave him behind. The paranoid worry that people were repulsed by the way he looked.

It was all true, he realizes. Always. But he doesn't have to worry about that anymore. He's not the victim anymore. He's in control.

It fuels him. Every punch, every attack is instilled with a hate he's never felt before. The flaws he felt in himself are on the surface, now, and there's nothing holding him back from destroying those flaws. The other Cyborg is doing his best to defend himself, but there's a lot holding him back.

But him? He's never felt more free.

He mocks the weaker one, telling him that Raven wasn't the only one with a bad side. The fear and confusion in his eyes are a bizarre sight- is that _really_ how he used to look? Was he such a failure, caught off-guard so easily? It makes him sick. More than ever, he wants to pound this loser into the dirt. But when he does, and jabs at him again with the knowledge that he can pinpoint every one of his thirty-five weak points, he realizes something else.

It feels good to mess with the other Cyborg. So, after the next beatdown, when his opponent is on his face in the dust and smoke, he casually takes another dig. He reminds him that he doesn't have a mother.

It's strange, really- he should feel something. He should be at least a little conflicted about such a personal jeer, especially since it's his own life, too. Or, it used to be. But he doesn't feel anything except grim satisfaction. And he's even more sure that the problems and complications that used to weigh him down don't matter anymore.

He's beyond it all. So he keeps it up, even after Cyborg roars toward him and tries his best to keep fighting. He taunts him with anything he can- the secret fears of isolation that no one else could possibly know, the way people still look at him differently from the other Titans, the incessant drive to try to make himself stronger, and his failure to do so.

Because the other Cyborg really has failed. And as the fight continues, he knows without a doubt that he's the stronger of the two.

[]

She's never thought about it before- the way that part of her longed to ignore consequences, and do whatever she wanted. As soon as the red lightning hit her, though, it became the only thing she could focus on.

Really, why had she ever bothered doing anything else?

The other Starfire really makes her laugh, with her pouty expression and determined pose. Neat, controlled little bursts of green energy, never willing to let loose. Never willing to be dangerous.

Her, though... she's dangerous, all right. She feels wild, and raging, and like she's finally accepted every part of herself. And if the other Starfire can't see that, then she'll prove it.

The fight is long, but she knows she's winning. She fights with a lightness, a speed and ferocity that the other Starfire can't match. She's weighed down, clearly- worried about her precious friends, no doubt. Intimidated by the fire and the darkness. Things that _she_ suddenly feels aren't that important anymore. Nothing's worth worrying about, now. So she lets the blood-red attacks fly, and laughs at her opponent's feeble attempts to fight back.

Then, on a whim, she mentions Robin. "Shall I tell Trigon where he is?"

...The other Starfire's reaction is absolutely delightful. Yelling, she flies forward and tries to increase the speed and intensity of her attacks, but the words have clearly disoriented her. She's able to dodge easily, and decides to continue. "That is, if he isn't dead already. You have left him in the hands of Slade, after all."

More flying. More blasts. More wildly swinging punches that don't land. It's hilarious, really. And for the first time, she feels no reservations about this kind of mocking, even at the expense of Robin. "You just let him go," she calls out as her weaker counterpart desperately tries to land a blow. "You agreed that he should walk to his doom."

It's strange, she considers- the fear she used to feel is gone completely. Once, she was worried over the possibility of ever failing to help or protect Robin. Now, it's as if that feeling has been removed from her heart entirely.

In its place is a sense that, in the end, his death would be humorous. So even as the other Starfire flies toward her in a fury, she smiles.

[]

"They hate you, you know."

The other Beast Boy snarls and tries to break his wrists away.

"They put up with you because you're funny."

He makes sure to lean forward, laughing in his enemy's face. "Not the jokes, though. They think the rest of you is funny. How pathetic you are, how much of an embarrassment you are to the team... how badly you fail at everything you try-"

He's caught off-guard when the other swings his skull forward, colliding with his own forehead. It's enough to stun him briefly, but even as he stumbles back, he's chuckling. "Hit a nerve, huh?" he rasps. "You're scared you're not good enough to do anything right."

"Shut up." But his voice is shaking, and Beast Boy grins wider. They used to be his own fears, but for some reason, as soon as he split away from the other, they seemed laughable. Trivial. Something only an idiot would worry about. And that, he realizes with a laugh, is exactly what this wimpy loser is: an idiot, because he can't stop worrying about his little friends.

For _his_ part, he doesn't really care about that anymore. "You know why they think you're useless?" He gives a toothy smile. "Because you can't save _anyone_."

"Shut UP!" the other screams, then dashes forward in some kind of canine morph. Beast Boy copies the form, and jumps to the side so the initial attack misses. Locking his jaws around his neck, he tackles the 'real' Beast Boy and pins him for a second before the animal slips away. He reverts to humanoid from just in time to see the green figure limping away, probably trying to get his strength back before fighting again.

"Face it," he calls loudly. "No matter how hard you try, you're never able to save the people most important to you." It just feels _good_. All the thoughts that used to keep him awake at night are suddenly gone, transferred to someone else- and he's free to attack the ideas mercilessly.

The other Beast Boy has turned now, glaring back at him. He laughs in his face. "You couldn't save Terra- and you sure couldn't save Raven." It's hard to say which name gets the bigger reaction, but the words' echo hasn't faded by the time he's racing forward, livid with rage. It's clear he's about to switch into another morph- but no one could possibly guess which, before it happens.

Except Beast Boy himself.

He transforms into the gorilla before the 'real' Beast Boy, and by the time the green animal stands upright, he can only stare in shock as two powerful arms grab him and throw him back down onto the stone. Beast Boy leaps onto his back, further crushing him, and the instant that the pain makes him revert to human form, he switches back as well. "And now," he continues, breathing hard, "Robin has to go off and save her. _Again_."

The scream of anger makes him laugh. He's the only one in the world who could possibly appreciate how devastating the words are, and he loves it. So he continues kneeling on the other's back, and continues mocking him as well.

After all, there's nothing stopping him.

[]

[]

[]

WHERE WE ARE RIGHT NOW: Robin has just encountered a mysteriously younger version of Raven, who doesn't seem to recognize him. The other three Titans are- I'm fairly sure- still fighting their counterparts in the lake of fire, with Trigon watching over them, in no danger himself. Slade has ceased traveling with Robin- current goal is unknown. (I mean, we know he wants his life back, but if Trigon won't give it to him, what the heck is he gonna do? Interesting.)

This episode is really dark. Thematically dark, visually dark, dark plot-wise... just dark all around.

I kinda love it.

It's a really interesting move to take the focus away from Raven, in the middle of her story. Obviously everything's still about her, but... she doesn't show up at all. Not once, until the very end. Pretty risky, I'd say- especially since she has such an interesting deal going on right now with her own character and decisions and future. However, the rest of the cast is strong enough to keep this episode awesome.

First, Trigon's grand debut is ABSOLUTELY worth the hype, mainly because his voice actor does an incredible job. Especially with lines like "**Insignificant insects**." But he has some pretty legit powers, too, and it has me seriously wondering how the Titans can possibly win.

I mean, this guy spends the majority of this episode sitting on the Tower like a throne. That is awesome.

But strangely, he doesn't fight all that much. Not directly, anyway- while Robin and Slade are off on their little soul-quest, he conjures up weird evil clones of the three remaining Titans to fight in his place. Don't get me wrong, that's pretty insane in itself- the evil versions literally crawl out of the Titans' bodies while they're being electrocuted, which is an image I'll NEVER forget- but I'm also hoping Trigon himself fights more in the finale.

Actually, if I think about it... Trigon isn't really the focus of this episode. Everyone else is. Robin and Slade have one storyline, and the other three Titans have another, but Trigon isn't all that important to either one.

Let's start over. So, to open up the episode... the world ends.

...

...

...

Yup.

Just like the end of season two, I'm really impressed that they actually destroyed everything instead of just talking about it. Except that time, it was just Jump City- now, it's the whole freaking planet. Everyone appears to be (_status unknown, dead or trapped in ash or something, it's not totally clear_), and the world itself looks like some bizarro version of Hell, with fire and black rock and smoke everywhere. In other words, things aren't looking great.

(Side note: Robin finds a raven here, and instead of having four freaky red eyes, it has two normal, _human_ red eyes. That is somehow so much more disturbing.)

So the episode establishes a bleak, hopeless setting really well. But we still get a lot of exciting action, and in brand-new ways- did ANYONE predict that Raven's earlier attack actually gave the four Titans her powers? It's _so cool_ seeing them say her catchphrase and fight with black magic and stuff!

...Even if they fail instantly. Like, fail hard. It's bad.

And the anti-Titans are really interesting, too. Personally, I don't think Trigon just made projections that have their powers and stuff- from their dialogue, I really believe that he drew out some dark part of them. Like Evil Cyborg said, "Raven wasn't the only one with a bad side." I wish we had more time to explore THAT concept, that every Titans has potential to be crazy evil. Seems pretty fascinating.

Although they're weirdly... petty. Like, why on earth does Cyborg take the time to make a 'dead mom' joke? Seriously, that comes out of nowhere! Why are they so intent on taking personal shots at the Titans? I mean, I have my own theory that I put into 'Deviants' up there, but I'm not completely satisfied with that explanation.

As for the ending, I don't know what I think of the young-Raven twist. I didn't expect it, so that's good, but I don't really have any context for it? Like, it kinda happens out of nowhere. I'm sure it will be explained, but that particular piece of the plot isn't the most interesting to me right now. The imagery is still awesome, though! Red and black coloring in a weird ruined-church area, with the dark sky and Robin searching through the shadows and corners and stuff... it looks amazing. Really great stuff. And once again, very epic music.

Oh, and one more great part of this episode. Can you guess? I bet you can guess. His name is what you would be if Santa ran you over with his reindeer.

...You'd be SLAYED. AND SLEIGHED.

SLAAAAAAAAADE.

I don't know where to start. We finally have his motivation, which I've been yammering about since like 'Birthmark', so that's amazing. But his actual story here is great, and his opening appearance is great... it's all so good!

We get this line: "It just doesn't feel like Raven is really gone." Then, suddenly, from off-screen, Slade's voice: "That's because she isn't." I practically screamed. I mean, Slade waltzing out of the shadows like a boss and offering to help the Titans? Slade TEAMING UP with the Titans?

_Slade specifically teaming up with Robin?!_

I paused the episode and giggled like a tiny child. This made me so, so happy, you guys. I couldn't handle it. And the rest of the scene is gold, too. After Starfire pins him to the wall (which is animated in such a way that it really takes you by surprise) with a look of murder in her eyes, we get a conversation about Trigon and destiny and magic and everything else you can imagine. It ends with this, from Slade: "It's the end of the world. Did you think it would be easy? I don't expect you to win. I don't even expect you to live. Only endure."

Needless to say, I'm on board with whatever plan they were about to draw up. But actually seeing Robin and Slade fighting on the same side is better than I could have imagined. I mean, it's a little cheesy that they're doing the exact same moves, but whatever. Still fun. The fire guys don't stand a chance.

But the best part. I swear, the _best part_ of this episode. The absolute best. Ready? Here goes: **The skull twist**. That was beyond clever, beyond surprising, and beyond powerful. First of all, without a single word of dialogue, you immediately know what happened. Slade really did die in the lava, and Trigon's promised him some kind of resurrection if he carries out this deal- and until then, he's in a weird almost-alive state. But it also works because of the expectation. The mask gets thrown off, and for a while, I was really excited, because HOLY CRAP, we're finally going to see Slade's real face! But deflecting that idea is brilliant, and it still makes sense in the context of the show. And I didn't see it coming at all.

And on top of that, it works because it's just a striking and memorable image- the half-shattered mask with bone and glowing eyes underneath. And on top of THAT, it works because of the impact: suddenly, Robin understands that Slade is desperate to get what he wants, and even though he's a terrible person, he's also been completely broken. That's like five different ways that this twist works! I'm so freaking impressed!

But all the same, I'm glad Robin and Slade aren't gonna be buddy-buddy for all time now. Robin glares, then says, "This doesn't change anything. If I ever see you again-" Calmly, Slade interrupts, "I wouldn't expect anything less." These two are fantastic.

Hey, one thing before I forget: after explaining what happened, Slade says he shouldn't have made a deal like that without 'a little protection'. Then Robin says, "You didn't just bring me down here to save Raven. I'm also here to save you." What? **What does that mean?** What'd he just figure out? Besides, HOW could he even help Trigon? I mean, the deal's broken, right? Trigon betrayed him, and he was the only one who could get him his body back. So how on earth does Robin think he can help?

[]

**Funny stuff**: The theme song has never felt more out of place. Trigon just torched the world, then- "WHEN THERE'S TRAAAAAHBLE..."

-"Yes, you seem to have everything under control." Of all people, _Slade_ is the one to get the sarcastic one-liner? I love it.

-"My reasons are my own." I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOUR CAGEY MYSTERIES, SLADE. (Edit: never mind, we actually do find out what's going on with him in this one. Still found it funny.)

-Beast Boy mentions something about giving Trigon a wet willy. Then, he flies into his ear and turns into a whale. _He literally gave him a wet willy_. Holy crap.

-On first seeing a demonic clone of himself, Beast Boy reacts with this: "Huh. I always figured I was... taller."

[]

**Major props to A-LionGleek for the prompt and most of the details for the second story!** It was really cool working off of someone else's idea. I don't know if I would want to do it again, but it was a lot of fun.

Next up: 'The End, part 3'. Sorry this took so long! But I should be able to get the finale done before the weekend's over. Then we'll probably have a recap, too.

Later, dorks! BECAUSE I'MA GO FIND OUT HOW THIS CRAZY RIDE ENDS. SEE YOU ON THE OTHER SIDE.


	54. The End, pt 3

Season 4, Episode 13

**Epilogue  
**

[]

The alarm screeches to life. Five reactions follow.

Robin throws both fists down to the counter, eyes snapping up to the window before he scowls. "Titans! Trouble!" he shouts, then leaps out of the kitchen area. He's halfway to the door of the main room before anyone else has moved.

Cyborg's face falls. "Aw, man!" he complains. "Why is it the bad guys always know when I'm makin' my world-famous chicken parm?" He sets the pan of food down and reluctantly follows Robin, though not without a mournful look back at his half-cooked confection.

Starfire darts in from the hallway. "I heard the alarm of danger!" she says, quickly scanning the room. "But... where is the location of the trouble?" She turns back and flies after Robin as the others realize that he hasn't actually told them where they're going.

Beast Boy bounces up from the couch in a flurry of elbows and blinking eyes. "Gaah! I wasn't sleeping!" When his arm finally grabs the back of the furniture to right himself, he vaults over and lands on his feet- which leads to a few seconds of unsteady staggering. "Heh! But my foot was!" he cracks as he limps past Raven.

...Raven says nothing. For a brief moment, her gaze is unfocused as her friends move past her- as soon as Beast Boy turns with the beginnings of a confused expression, though, she's moving forward before he can say anything.

They take the car.

It's a loud and raucous drive- Cinderblock's rampage is happening right on the edge of one of Jump's suburbs, so there are multiple ways to the site. "_Dude_," Beast Boy says in disbelief, leaning ahead so his face is between the front chairs. "You're joking, right? It's gonna take _all day_ if we go down Park."

"It's the most direct route," Robin argues from the passenger seat. "Last time we tried to take a shortcut, we ended up on the wrong side of the city. We're taking Park."

"Gold is way faster! You just switch off on Seventy-Five, then keep going until you find the East exit, then look for... uh..." He frowns. "Don't tell me, I'll remember it."

"We're. Taking. Park."

"Ugh." He pauses, then turns to the driver's side. "Cy, lemme dri-."

"No way."

"Aw, come on! Why not?"

Cyborg gives him an irritated glare. "Because I've got a few very specific modifications on this baby, an' if you try drivin', it could end badly. I can't risk puttin' what I care about the most in harm's way."

Beast Boy beams. "That's so touching, man! I'm really glad you- Wait." A scowl slowly darkens his face, and he says in a monotone, "...You're talking about the car, aren't you."

"Well, yeah. What'd ya think?"

Raven can barely hear Starfire's quiet voice above the argument. "Robin? Robin, I can see-"

"He's changing course!" Robin bristles, looking down at his communicator. "At this rate, he'll-"

"ROBIN!" The rest of the Titans practically jump. Starfire has her face pressed against the window, staring out at the city skyline. Cinderblock is only just visible- occasionally, his roaring head peers above the buildings, and shattered windows and damaged walls seem to surround him.

All previous conversations forgotten, Beast Boy grins and slams his fist into his other hand. "Yeah! Time to take down the bad guy! You ready, Raven?"

...

Raven blinks.

One hand gesturing towards the villain in the distance, Robin is frantically shouting information at Cyborg. For his part, Cyborg swerves through traffic and does his best to monitor Cinderblock's location as well as judge the quickest avenue to their destination, all the while insisting that he _knows_ where he's _going_, Robin, just _hold off for a second_. Starfire is anxiously trying to get a word in edgewise, asking if the monster is targeting any buildings in particular and if they have any plan of attack.

Her eyes flick closed. Then, open again.

"Of course," she says quietly. "You?"

Beast Boy smiles like he didn't notice anything. "Heck yeah!" He leans forward again with a determined stare. "Now let's haul, Cy! Before anybody gets hurt! Hurry!"

They hurry.

Cinderblock emits a deep, thundering growl and slams his fist down onto the street- the tremors momentarily make Cyborg and Robin lose their balance, giving Beast Boy and Starfire the opportunity to race ahead and begin the assault. Already airborne, the two split up and attack from opposite sides. Rapid blasts of green energy distract the villain from one direction while Beast Boy lands from the other, morphing into an octopus and entangling himself around Cinderblock's head.

Standing in the center of the road, Raven concentrates as quickly as she can. The words of the chant flow easily, and before long, she has a section of the blacktop levitating behind him.

"Titans! Now!" Robin's yell catches her attention. The plan is twofold: it really is a call to action, and the four others will coordinate their attacks, but it's also a chance to deflect suspicion from any further action. She waits for the perfect moment to strike, making sure Cinderblock isn't able to move out of the trajectory... of the...

They're all fighting. All at once, against an enemy towering stories above them.

A memory stirs, and she nearly loses her focus. The chunk of concrete dips slightly.

_Snap out of it._

Smoke bombs. Cinderblock is rearing back, howling, and sonic blasts and green starbolts alike pepper his frame, causing him to stagger backwards. Beast Boy is still pestering the top of his head, nimbly switching morphs to dodge wildly swiping hands. Another of Robin's explosives soars in, throwing the monster even more off-balance.

Raven grits her teeth, throwing her arms forward.

The projectile darts ahead. Colliding with the back of his legs, the concrete forces Cinderblock's knees forward even as his frame is falling back from the other Titans' attacks. With a mighty rumble, he slowly crashes to the ground.

...

Dust.

For a moment, nothing moves. A faint haze of sunshine colors the street and surrounding buildings. She can see her teammates, coughing and trying to make their way through the clouds of dirt.

She's tired, suddenly. Too tired to dwell on the memories, no matter how clear they seem. She breathes slowly, hoping to clear her mind.

"Raven?" Starfire has approached her, softly descending until her feet light on the ground. Farther down the road, Beast Boy is cheering and attempting to hop onto Cyborg's shoulders. "Are you hurt?"

Her focus darts between the fallen villain, her other friends, and the girl looking at her with concern. "No," she says after a moment. "No, I'm fine."

Starfire's eyes brighten. "Wonderful!" she chirps. "Because this battle may be the fastest and most successful of all our bouts with the villains of Jump City!"

"...Yeah, it might be." A trace of a smile pulls at her mouth as she watches the others, already swapping perspectives on the fight and claiming credit for the major blows.

In keeping with tradition, the celebration leads to pizza.

The shop is busy for this time in the afternoon. Bustling crowds enjoy their meals around the outdoor tables- luckily, the Titans are a recognizable-enough presence here that even the most eager fans understand the routine. The victory pizza is a sacred time, uninterrupted by demands for autographs and photos.

"Because it's disgusting," Beast Boy insists, jabbing a finger at the slice in Cyborg's hand. "_No one_ actually likes pepperoni. Everyone thinks it's the 'standard' for pizza or something, but no one really likes the taste. Prove me wrong."

"Easy." He grabs one of the bits of meat and pops it in his mouth, keeping eye contact with his friend the whole time. "Oh, wow, I like it. Shocker."

Narrowing his eyes, he rubs his hands together. "Alright, hotshot. Try this." Beast Boy deftly grabs the remaining pepperonis off the surface, piling them up and presenting them with a flourish. "Go nuts."

Cyborg starts to reach forward, then frowns. "...What's the catch?"

"No catch." Beast Boy gives an innocent shrug. "You like pepperoni, right?"

"Yeah..." Still suspicious, he finally takes the food. "I dunno what you're tryin' to prove," he says with his mouth full. "Still tastes good to me."

"Great!" With a wicked smile, Beast Boy nabs the remaining now-meatless pizza from Cyborg's plate. "You like pepperoni, and I like pizza. Everybody wins."

Before Cyborg can object, Starfire hesitantly points across the table. "But did the toppings not also include sausage and the bacon of Canada?"

Raven hides a smile as Beast Boy's eyes go wide, and he immediately spits out the half-chewed bite. He frantically swipes at his tongue, hoping to remove any trace of the meat, before realizing that the pizza didn't have either of the ingredients Starfire mentioned. "_Staaar!_ You're supposed to be on my side!

"Oops," she says casually. "It seems I was mistaken." Raven almost can't hear her over Cyborg's laughing.

The hubbub of conversation from the three continues. In the corner of her eye, she sees Robin glancing at her and raising a cup of soda for a drink. "Everything okay?" he says quickly and quietly, so the others don't notice.

She appreciates the discretion, and only gives a slight nod. Without missing a beat, Robin leans forward. "You know, maybe I'm just grossed out from the sight of undigested pizza falling out of Beast Boy's mouth," he interrupts loudly. "But I think I'm with him on this one. Pepperoni's not that great."

Just like that, the debate is back on. Raven takes a minute to really listen to the sounds around her, to really see the scene. Her friends are animated and loud, bickering with wide grins and goofy frowns. Around and beyond them, the citizens of the city are going about their lives, talking and walking and laughing and running into problems and victories and failures.

The sky is clear. The breeze is cool. The city seems... vibrant. Alive. It's an oddly poetic thought, but she almost feels like the entire scene is somehow emblematic of something more.

It's here. It's all here, and nothing will take that away. She closes her eyes, internalizing the idea.

The words run through her mind for the rest of the day.

The wide window of the main room is as crystal-clear as always, though she can hardly see anything outside except the faint light of a crescent moon and the yellow glow of the city. Somewhere below, waves are crashing on the shore of the bay. Salt and seawater fall against the rocks. There's probably a chill in the air, wind stirring over the sand. And it will all still be there when the sun rises and warms the coast.

She doesn't know why she keeps thinking about it.

_"They are my family." A step forward, as if the words were filling her with power-_

"Raven?" Robin is approaching from the hallway, and she only glances at him for a moment before looking back into the darkness. He steps to the edge as well, standing a few feet to her side. He knows her well enough not to ask why she's awake this late- usually, though, it's because she's meditating. She wonders if he's concerned, or if he's going over the same thoughts in his own mind.

_"This is my home." Another step, with lightning in her eyes and thunder in her voice-_

Finally, he sighs. "It, uh, I'm sure it isn't easy."

Mildly surprised, she turns. "What isn't?"

_"And you are not welcome here!" She could feel it, welling up in her spirit and in her mind, clear as the fury in Trigon's eyes-_

"When we- I mean, the-" Robin exhales, running a hand through his hair. "I don't know what I'm trying to say, exactly," he admits.

Raven raises an eyebrow, but says nothing.

"It's just..." He puts a hand up against the glass, staring out at the lights. "Some days are probably tougher than others," he says quietly. "I know sometimes, I can't stop thinking about how close it was. It- it almost came crashing down around us."

_ Arms raised, she prepared to strike at the heart of everything she'd ever known and feared-_

She remains quiet. "Even though we won..." Robin seems to deliberate something in his mind before continuing. "A lot of things went wrong," he says at last. "It's always tough when you see your friends hurt like that. And I keep wondering- if we'd been just a little slower, if we'd messed up any more..."

Raven blinks again. "Do you think the others feel like that?" she says softly.

He barely moves his shoulders. "Hard to say. Maybe it's easier for them to move past it." He dips his head, and suddenly he seems worried. Scared. "We did it, after all," he says with a shaking voice. "We saved the world."

_"Azarath, Metrion, ZINTHOS!"_

_Exhilaration, and terror, and wonder, and hope, and despair, and love-_

She looks away. "You're right," she says. "It's not easy."

He's silent for a moment. Looking at him, Raven considers that she doesn't see him like this often. None of the Titans do, really. He's too careful. Too sure that he has to be the rock for the others to hold onto.

Raven tries to put a positive note in her voice. "And that's... okay," she says. "Some days we can't act like everything's fine- even if it is."

She sees a small smile, and then even a quick laugh. "I was gonna say that," Robin says, shaking his head. "I came out here because I thought I was going to encourage _you_."

_The warbird, grand and deadly, soaring forward on bright wings of astral energy-_

Raven's expression doesn't change. "I know."

For some reason, it makes Robin chuckle again. "Guess I should have known you were doing fine. Like I said- you're the most hopeful out of all of us."

_Trigon's demonic visage, slowly realizing his defeat, twisting in rage and fury and slowly dissolving in the pure light-_

She hesitates, because it isn't quite that simple. "No, you're right. About thinking this way." Her gaze falls to the floor. "Sometimes, it's hard to think about anything else."

She can't put into words how grateful she is that they all believed in her, even when she didn't- which makes it all the more difficult to talk about. Especially on a day like today. And she appreciates that they worry, and she appreciates that they leave her alone sometimes. But she can't bring that up either. So she tries something else. "But that wasn't it today."

Robin looks up, confused, and she continues. "Today was normal. Just... normal. And I kept picturing the good things. The better memories."

_A flash of white, hurting her eyes, and the world rushing back into place as she slowly realized that they'd finally done it, they'd finally won-_

"Sometimes, I- I really can't believe it." She pauses. "It's truly incredible."

He nods, considering the words. "That we won?" he asks. "Or that everything's still here?" He waves a hand at the city below. "All back to normal, like nothing ever happened?"

The dim outline of Raven's reflection blinks back at her from the window. "That it's over."

_She watched the magma cooling into clear water, the ash and smoke clearing to form skies, the fire giving way to earth and trees and buildings and oceans and people and life-_

"Hm." Robin crosses his arms. "I guess it is."

She closes her eyes, and imagines she can hear the cars driving through the nighttime streets, and the water moving in the bay, and the insects whirring in the air.

"But it's like _you_ said," he says with a grin. "There aren't really endings. Just new beginnings."

_And her friends gathered around her, awestruck and jubilant, at the end of the end of the world._

"Yeah." She glances to the side. "...Thanks for coming out here. And for listening."

"Right back at ya." Robin gives another brief smile, then takes one last look at the city before starting back across the room.

...

Silence reigns.

...

Eventually, she knows, the sun will come up on the scene before her. The city will stir, and millions of people will never know how close they'd come to annihilation. Her friends will greet the day with eagerness, joy, and maybe even uncertainty. Dozens of heroes and villains will rise to do incredible, amazing things, and the fate of the entire city will likely hang in the balance, just as it always has.

Things won't be the same. She certainly won't. And yet, at the same time, it will all still be there.

That's enough.

[]

[]

[]

WHAT IF IT'S LITERALLY HOPE, THOUGH.

...Eh-hem. Sorry. Got ahead of myself there.

Guys, I finally made it! The story arc that the most people have been excited about, that I've heard the most anticipation for, that I personally have been most impressed by... It really does feel like the epic closer to an amazing tale, and I have to keep reminding myself that there's still another season to go!

There's _quite a bit_ to talk about, so to hold on to at least a semblance of order and control, I'm gonna talk about two different things: the episode as a whole with miscellaneous stuff, and then the climactic moment and what I believe the main theme is.

Episode Elements: These fights are _prime_. The continued battles with the evil clones are almost painful to watch- Cyborg nearly gets dunked in lava, with a prolonged shot of his face only INCHES away from the surface. Starfire's double hefts a boulder that seems a hundred times her size and crushes Starfire with it. And let's be honest, Beast Boy almost gets eaten several different times. It's bizarre, but also really tense and exhausting because of the tone the music and animation sets. You really get the feeling that they've been fighting for a long time, and they're running out of ideas.

Also, Beast Boy and his clone fight as dinosaurs. It's pretty awesome.

But Slade's one-on-one fight with the executioner-guard is on another level. We already know this guy is dangerous, so when he faces down this behemoth while declaring that he has nothing left to lose, it's nothing short of thrilling. And the actual fight is a blast, with a ton of speed-vs.-strength ideas on display, especially since Slade is at such a physical disadvantage the whole time. Then, of course, he reveals that he cheated to win, planting a bomb on the door behind his enemy at one point. It's the perfect ending, because _that's exactly how I should have expected Slade to fight magical demon-guards._

(Actually, my first question pops up here too. **What is this place**, where Slade gets his body back? How did he know to go here? I didn't really understand his part in this one, honestly. It was still awesome, but I think a lot of it went over my head.)

Next, Tiny Raven. I'm not entirely sure why she was de-aged, but I can't say it bothered me too much, since it leads to some of the most adorable and touching moments of the whole show. When she runs away from Robin, scampering through the shadows with frantic piano music over the top, there's a real sense of sadness and childlike fear of the unknown. Later, Robin carrying Raven on his back and telling her a story about her grown-up self is just... it's something else. You really see how deeply she's inspired and influenced him. And you also see how committed he is to protecting his friends.

Now, Trigon... well, Trigon's just fantastic. I was legitimately shocked when it turned out that he knew the Titans' plan the whole time. He says he even knew before they came up with it. It got me thinking, actually: is he omniscient? Is he psychic in some way? Is he basically God? (I'm kind of serious with these. **Trigon's powers** are another area where I'm confused.)

And his time to shine- the ending fight scene, BEFORE Raven steals the show- is amazing. The Titans know they might die, Raven's powers aren't working, lightning and red clouds are everywhere, and the music is going insane. Then we get Robin's most passionate "Titans, go!" ever, along with a bunch of epic silhouette shots and Slade appearing out of nowhere to CLEAVE TRIGON'S ANTLERS. And that's just the beginning! After they've landed a series of hits on him, Trigon turns the tables and starts absolutely destroying them with the red lasers from his eyes. They're completely defeated, and it looks like there's no possible way to win.

And then Raven steps forward.

...

Let's talk about the concept of hope for a minute, shall we?

Hope has shown up a lot in these recent episodes. It's no secret that Raven believed she had no chance at all of refusing her prophesied destiny, or that she didn't think the Titans could possibly stand up to Trigon. So a few conversations in the other episodes have revolved around that- if she's correct, or what's the right way to act either way.

But this is slightly different. When Robin is talking to younger Raven underground, she brings up an awfully good point: the world's already ended. Trigon has won. What's the point of hope anymore? What's the point of trying? Robin doesn't have a catchy, bumper-sticker-ready response, but you can tell from his determined smile and his declaration that he'll 'just have to have enough hope for the both of us' that he still thinks it's worth it. In the face of death and impossibility, he still has hope, even if he can't explain why.

Now, at the end of the episode, the two of them have another interesting dialogue. Raven asks him how he still believed, even after it had all fallen apart. Even after everything she had done. And this show resists the temptation to throw out some cheesy lesson about never giving up or a half-baked sermon about believing in yourself, because Robin gives her a completely different answer: it was her. She inspired him, with the way she'd lived her life and the way she'd done her best to fight for good, even with all the horrible things she was told she'd do.

That's _so strong_, because we've seen it! We've seen Raven overcome the insane prophecy, and her monstrous father, and the side of her that was capable of destroying the world. So when Robin says that's the source of his hope, it makes sense.

...So with all that said, **what really happens at the end?** When Raven stands up to Trigon, declaring that the Titans are her real family and the Earth are her real home, what goes down, exactly? We see her astral attack in bird-form strike him, and he dissolves in a pretty awesome death scene, immediately followed by the restoration of the whole planet. But how?

That's right, it's the biggest-ever and most-epic-ever installment of THEORY TIME!

Here's my thinking. In previous episodes, we heard about how Trigon is indestructible and all-powerful. It was made very clear- mainly through information _from Raven_, and that's important- that there was no possible way to defeat this guy. And yet, somehow, she finds a way during the finale. She finally decides that she is going to fight, and there is hope, and just like that, she's able to accomplish the impossible. How?

Well, Raven's powers are based on emotion, right? And this whole time, she didn't believe anyone could stop Trigon. He reaffirmed it several times, telling her how weak she was and how she was born for nothing but this single purpose.

**What if Raven's only power that can defeat Trigon... is _literally the hope that she can defeat Trigon?_**

If Trigon knew his daughter's only chance to defeat him was through the belief that it could happen, wouldn't he specifically work to discredit those things? Destroying Azarath, constantly telling her how inevitable everything is, telling her she's weak and a failure... wouldn't it make sense? I don't think he's just an arrogant villain, assuming that he's powerful enough to overcome anything. I think he's specifically trying to break down the only thing that can kill him- Raven's psyche.

The biggest scene of the first finale was based on logic and strategy. Robin came up with a legitimately brilliant way of defeating Slade- taking all his plans with the 'apprentice' thing and the blood-robots and inverting them until Slade was left with nothing. The finale for Season Two was much more character-based than anything. Instead of complicated strategies and clever decision-making, the power came from emotional choices and relationships, particularly surrounding Terra. So it makes sense that the climax of the episode and resolution to the story was her betrayal of Slade and sacrifice to save the city.

The third was a little different. You guys know I loved the confrontation with Cyborg and Brother Blood, but in terms of the actual resolution... it was a little vague. And I had fun making up my own ideas of what happened, but you could totally make the argument that it simply wasn't clear enough.

...For good or bad, I think this finale is most similar to that of Season Three. Raven defeats Trigon, and it's not because of a clever solution or a dynamic and wild character relationship. It's actually not nearly as clear as that, I don't think. Concepts as abstract as hope and belief are never very simple.

And to me, at least, that's what makes this finale so breathtaking. **But what do you think?** Is the power Raven uses something else? Is it more complicated than I thought? Less?

[]

**Variety Hour**: I'm pretty sure this cold opener is about twenty seconds long. Starfire wakes up, looks at the sky, gets shot at by Evil Starfire, _cue theme song!_

-"My butt can't take much more kicking!" "IT CAN, AND IT WILL!"

-Tiny Raven kicking Robin in the face is pretty great. Not sure why it made me laugh.

-So they decide to fight the others instead of their own doubles. I'm thinking they have to be cool about it, so the clones don't realize right away what they're planning. Instead, they immediately high-five like dorks and loudly yell, "SWITCH!"

-Beast Boy looks really sad when he has to destroy Starfire's clone. It's kind of sweet... and then Cyborg is WAY too happy to fight Beast Boy's clone.

-"Um, he's coming over here! I REALLY DON'T LIKE THAT HE'S COMING OVER HERE!"

-After winning his fight, Slade glances over at the guy's dead body. "Don't get up. I'll let myself out." How can someone be that snarky and that cold-blooded at the same time?

-Beast Boy absolutely can't handle it when Raven descends, wearing the white robe and a smile. In fact, it's only when she tells him he's 'still not funny' that he gasps and gleefully exclaims, "_Raven!_" As it _that's_ what convinced him it's really her.

-Starfire, holding food above her head like antlers: "On my planet, this is hilarious." Not only is that one of her funniest lines ever, it's also weirdly good without context. Like, couldn't you just imagine that on a T-shirt somewhere?

[]

Next up: Season Four recap! It's coming in the next few days, probably- before Wednesday for sure. So I hope you like terrible jokes and, um, more terrible jokes.

I have a lot of mushy thank-yous and that kinda stuff, but it's two in the morning for me and I figure I'll save all that for the end of the recap.

For now, though, just this: Teen Titans is amazing. Season Four is amazing. Raven is amazing! Hope is amazing! Human creativity is amazing! The world is amazing!

Later, dorks!


	55. RECAP SEASON 4

Season 4, Episode 1: '**Episode 257-494**'- Everybody's favorite nerd/criminal mastermind escapes reality to live in all the TV shows he wants, whenever he wants. And then all the teenagers in America follow him, because that actually sounds freaking awesome.

4-2: '**The Quest**'- Robin fights a monkey, snake, bear, and the rest of the Chinese Zodiac while the other Titans break into his room and take turns wearing his pants. True story.

4-3: '**Birthmark**'- _*Trigon shows up when Raven's meditating*_ "Okay, I get the message." _*Trigon shows up in Raven's dreams*_ "Uh, I said I got it-" _*Slade has the sigil on his forehead, shows her a vision of the world ending*_ "Alright, you've made your point-" _*Raven's skin glows red with ancient demonic glyphs*_ "OMG, DAD, I GET IT, STOP EMBARRASSING ME IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS."

4-4: '**Cyborg the Barbarian**'- The tragic tale of an overzealous soldier who, in his blind eagerness to rule his tribe, makes a cursed deal with an evil witch. And lo, the wicked one doth pay a horrible price for his greed. ...Also there's, like, time travel and superheroes or something.

4-5: '**Employee of the Month**'- ...myyyyyyy MOPED BRINGS A-LI-ENS TO MY JOB, AND THEY'RE LIKE, "WE'RE HUMANS NAMED BOB..."

4-6: '**Troq**'- Space racists. _Spacists_. Ugh, those guys are the worst.

4-7: '**The Prophecy**'- Trigon is revealed to be Lu- uh, _Raven's_ father, and torments her mind by telling her she'll instigate his demonic entrance into the universe. But he also calls her a 'gem', which is kinda sweet. So, you know. Balances out. Okay day of fathering all-around.

4-8: '**Stranded**'- Blacked-out space stations, extraterrestrial monsters, deserted planets, lost friends, bottomless chasms... but all that's NOTHING compared to Robin's most dangerous challenge yet: _talking about his feelings with a girl_.

4-9: '**Overdrive**'- Billy Numerous throws a party. No one is invited.

4-10: '**Mother Mae-Eye**'- Oh, shoot, I must have had the order of these last few mixed up. I almost wrote that a terrifying, all-powerful demon from another dimension uses dark magic to nearly destroy everything the Titans care about. ACTUALLY, WAIT, THAT STILL FITS.

4-11: '**The End, pt. 1**'- Beast Boy gives Raven a penny for luck. The world explodes and everybody dies.

4-12: '**The End, pt. 2**'- Trigon makes evil versions of the Titans, finally having enough people to pursue his lifelong dream of being in a synth pop band. Gonny and the Tri-Tones are an instant success, touring America with their hit single, "No Wonder Terra Dumped You."

4-13: '**The End, pt. 3**'- Slade ganks a battleaxe from a dead guy, then cuts off Trigon's majestic antlers and mounts 'em on his wall- but it's not because Trigon went back on the deal. It's because forcing one of the Teen Titans to do horrible things and serve a psychotic mastermind was _totally Slade's idea first. _

[]

Once again, shout-out to the guest reviewers I can't thank with a personal message! CrossroadsKid, you're awesome, and it's really cool reading your thoughts on each chapter. (Although I'm still completely lost on the monkey and rubber band stuff, yo. That makes NO sense.) And any other guest reviewers who have ever given feedback- thanks a ton! You guys rock.

Everyone else, if you leave a review, your personal thank-you message is on its way, and your check is in the mail!

...Uh, that... that is a lie. You're not getting paid. None of us are getting paid. Sorry.

[]

I wanna say something here quick.

It's always been my dream to be writing stories, and have a bunch of readers who are having fun and discussing theories and stuff, and having the opportunity to interact with them and get inspiration and stuff. And honestly, I didn't realize until very recently that... I already have that.

I'm incredibly lucky, you guys. I can't thank you enough for sticking with this project. I've been having the time of my life, and it's 100% thanks to you.

From the bottom of my heart- thanks. This has been really fun.

Now, here's the deal. Like I've said before, I'm going to be leaving on a huge, busy trip in a few days, and I won't be back until the beginning of December. Obviously that throws a wrench into any writing plans. However, there's been a new development: **I actually MAY have Internet access. I don't know for sure yet, and it might be very spotty and unreliable.**

It's kind of great, but kind of awkward, because I certainly don't want to promise updates and then NOT have them happen. So, my plan is this: as of right now, assume that 'When There's Trouble' is on a complete hiatus until the end of the trip, when I'll start Season 5 (which sounds awesome, by the way! I've heard lots of encouraging things about that!). But I would also encourage you to check back here in a few weeks or so. If it turns out I WILL be able to get started sooner, I'll definitely have some kind of note in the summary, as well as my profile.

So there it is. Give me a couple weeks, and then this story's summary will either still say "ON HIATUS UNTIL DECEMBER" or "UPDATES COMING SOON!" or something like that. Deal? Deal.

Oh, and I'm leaving Thursday, so I should have plenty of time to respond with thank-you messages before then.

[]

Well, I guess there isn't a whole lot more to say. If you're reading this, thanks for doing so. If you read any or most or a few or all of the chapters, thanks. If you left one review or fifty, thanks! I hope it was worth your while.

This is Obvious Ghost, signing off.

...Later, dorks.


	56. Homecoming, pt 1

Season 5, Episode 1

**Obey  
**

[]

The world was coming apart.

Wind tore past him, and the ground shook harder with every passing second- struggling, he tried to get to his feet, but collapsed to the ground again. Closing his eyes only made everything worse. They snapped open, and suddenly he could see-

"Beast Boy!"

He froze. The pylons had risen higher, stretching almost to the ceiling, where they launched bolts of deadly energy. Caught in the field of red, the Patrol hovered above the ground. The horrific pain was obvious, even from across the room; for a moment, he was frozen, unable to respond. He couldn't even breathe.

This... this wasn't happening. It couldn't be.

"It's creating a black hole! Destroy the machine!"

Panic. A creeping fear, crawling over him like spiders, making it harder to think and harder to move at all. Everything was going wrong. He'd messed up. He'd tried to... he was supposed to get to the machine, but the bad guys had... and now, Mento was telling him to-

He spun, staring at the tower behind him. The generator was getting stronger. Darts of electricity raced over the machine's surface, and just like Mento had said, a dark, empty space was starting to grow at the construction's apex. Pieces of metal were splintering away from the base, flying upwards to disintegrate in the conflux of air as it tore glass and concrete from the walls of the building itself.

It looked like a monster. Rearing high over his head, devouring everything in sight, it seemed to speak directly into his mind, counteracting the order he'd been given: _Nothing can stop this. You can't do anything_.

His voice ramped up high, sounding weak and sharp. "I-it's too big! I can't!"

Mento wasn't looking at him. Still trapped, he had his eyes shut tight against the agony of the lasers. "You must! Do it _now!_"

He felt like he couldn't keep looking at them, but he couldn't tear his focus away. The Patrol was... dying. Right in front of him. Faces creased in pain, muscles taut with exertion, life slowly draining away- and Mento wanted him to turn his back.

...No, that wasn't it. He wanted him to be a hero. Even now, even in the midst of the worst trauma Beast Boy had ever seen, he was asking him to follow orders. Save the day. Be strong.

Be _big_.

He moved to face the machine again, and nearly stumbled as his balance shifted against the wind. The black hole was growing, sucking up more and more air even faster than before, and he suddenly realized that if it wasn't stopped, it would just keep expanding. It would destroy everything, and- and it would all be his fault. Mento was trusting him with the fate of everyone.

A single order. No, a command. The objective, the team, the entire _world_ was in his hands. The fear came back, stronger and more sudden, and his mind came to a frazzled sort of halt- he couldn't think logically, but panicked thoughts and paranoid dreams of what might go wrong filled his vision. He was trying to think it through, trying to reason what was right and what was possible and what needed to be done _but how could he, when the machine was staring him down and the Patrol was dying and the building was collapsing and he couldn't breathe-_

He stopped, looking up at the black hole again. One thought filtered through the rest.

...Mento knew what he was doing. It would be alright, because he could trust Mento.

He'd be fine. Everything would be okay. He could save the day, and be a hero, and follow orders, because Mento said he could.

He could be big. "Think big," he whispered, closing his eyes tight and concentrating with everything he had. "Think big!"

"Think-"

_Big_.

He grew. The lab constricted and curled in on itself, and he realized he was standing taller, _taller_ and everything else looked so small, and he wasn't scared at all anymore. He felt strong. Fire and lightning were racing in his head and his tail and legs and even his small arms, and he spun to face the generator, growling with the thundering roar of a true monster.

A flicker of doubt. But, no- Mento knew what he was doing.

The first steps were lilting and awkward, but soon he had better control- racing across the floor, he collided with the base of the machine, destroying its supports and causing the entire thing to fall violently to the ground. He roared, prepared to bring his jaws down around the station where the black hole was growing, but he didn't have to. The spatial rift was already gone, completely destabilized the second the metal collided with the floor. In an instant, the wild wind halted, and the cacophony of sound stilled to quiet.

And suddenly, he could hear their cries. They were weak, and it scared him so much more than any ear-shattering scream, because he knew what it meant. All he could think of was the red lightning behind him- before he could even turn around, he lost focus, and the gargantuan form shrank down to a fraction of its size. In seconds, he was crumpled on the floor, back to human form.

The energy was gone. His arms were lead, and his legs were stone. Even looking up and opening his eyes took an enormous amount of effort, and he could barely fight through the exhaustion as it piled up in his mind and body. He'd never been able to use _that_ morph before. But the thought hadn't crossed his mind that it would require more concentration and exertion than he was used to. Every part of him hurt, and his eyes widened as he realized that, if he didn't pull himself up, he might pass out completely. He might miss the chance to help them.

It was... incredible, that he'd done it. Unbelievable. In any other situation, he'd probably be elated, completely shocked that he'd succeeded in destroying the machine. Now, though, he couldn't think of anything except the horrifying possibility that he'd failed in another way, and that he'd be too late.

Muscles screaming, he planted his hands against the ground and dragged himself upwards. He was shambling forward before he even stood completely, trying to stagger his way to the pylons that were still flooding bright death into the air.

No. _No, _he couldn't keep thinking about it like that. They weren't dying. They weren't going to die. He could still save them.

They... they weren't going to...

He shut his eyes with a pained growl, and before he knew exactly what he was doing, he'd transformed into a mountain goat. Head lowered, he did his best to push past the fatigue and move more quickly. Eventually, he broke into a steady run.

They'd be fine.

Soon, he was only yards away from one of the pylons. Sobs of torment echoed down to his level. He didn't look up.

...They'd be _fine._

Horns down, he slammed into the side. A quick crunching sound, and- just like the generator tower- the tower was careening to the side, and sections fell apart on impact with the metal floor. The other pylon couldn't keep the field intact. He shifted back to human form, eyes wide as the red energy faded, allowing the Patrol to fall to the ground.

One moment of heart-stopping worry as they were silent, and then a rush of relief when Mento stirred.

Then, nothing.

They... weren't moving. Any of them. Four limp, huddled forms against the lab floor. His legs failed, and he felt himself falling, but he couldn't take his eyes off of them, even as he crumpled to the ground.

"No," he said, the word slipping out in a pathetic whine. "No, no, _no!_" His hands scrabbled against the tile, and he was able to pull himself forward, gasping for air in the midst of exhaustion. "Mento!"

When he finally reached the still form, he crouched beside him. A sound emanated from his leader, and instantly, a terrified, painful hope filled his mind. Mento was lying face-up, mouth open. Breathing. Trying to say something. "Just- don't worry," he said quickly, shrilly, each sound too thin as it echoed and faded. "You'll be okay. You'll be okay."

"-st Boy," the man mumbled, slurring, almost inaudible. "-don't worry."

His eyes went wide. "What? What- what are you saying?"

"-did the- right thing."

The Patrol's leader hissed in pain, and his quiet words fell back into pained breathing. Beast Boy froze. His throat caught, and for an instant, all was silent.

The fear was all he could think of. No other thought entered his mind.

...Except one. "No, I didn't."

He closed his eyes, but he could still see the machine, and the laser, and the awful, awful vision of his friends. "...You're wrong," he choked out, but he knew it didn't matter.

Whether Mento could still hear him or not, he'd said it too late.

[]

[]

[]

WE ARE BACK, BOY-O.

...

Is what I was _planning_ to say as soon as I updated again. It was going to be awesome. I'd be all confident and excited and stuff. Really fun times.

Instead, I'm forced to admit that... this is kind of embarrassing.

See, I really did think that there was gonna be a three-month break. It's my last year of college, and I'm on an extended travel program with the school. Before I left, I made two big assumptions: one, that I'd be busier than ever before, and two, that I wouldn't have reliable Internet.

I was wrong on both counts. So, first and foremost, I really am sorry about all that melodramatic 'three-month-hiatus' talk I was throwing around. Seems kind of silly now.

Anyway, how do I talk about this episode? It's actually tricky, because there is a TON of new stuff being thrown in. Lots of brand-new characters, as well as a bunch of information in general, and it's really making me rethink a lot of what I assumed about Beast Boy.

Here's an example. The cold open before the theme song (which is four and a half freaking minutes, by the way) gives _no_ context at the beginning, leaving you to pay attention and figure stuff out on your own. Along with the characters we've never seen before, there's also an entire action sequence to follow, and it's information overload if I've ever seen it.

At first, I was one-hundred-percent lost. Who are these people? What are they talking about? Wait, this thing creates black holes? Is that The Thing from the Fantastic 4? Why is there a giant gorilla? _Why is there a talking brain? _

And also, holy crap, what's Beast Boy doing here in a weird purple mask?

But then the pieces started to make sense. Beast Boy acted really scared and nervous before finally using a T-Rex morph, and after he switched back, he was ecstatic. Like he'd never done it before. That was the first sign that this was happening in the past (even though I'm sure that was supposed to be obvious already). And once I stopped worrying about keeping track of everything, I realized that I was having a ton of fun.

The lab infiltration and the fight scene are both awesome- there's a moment where Robot Man sees a room full of complicated traps and junk, and he literally just destroys them all. Beast Boy's big moment when he breaks the laser-prison thing is great as well. Elasti-Girl and Negative Man (_who's really having an out-of-body experience I'M NOT EVEN SORRY_), even though they didn't get a ton of time to do stuff in the opening scene, were pretty cool too.

...I'll get to Mento later.

The rest of the episode is, of course, all about Beast Boy and the Patrol, once the Titans finally find them. And that... really confused me, for a good portion of the scenes. None of the Titans bat an eye at names like 'Doom Patrol' and 'Brotherhood of Evil', but I was pretty sure I'd _never_ heard those before. And Beast Boy doesn't seem shocked or unsure- he immediately figures out that his former team is in trouble, and everyone leaps into action.

I'd heard that this season goes into Beast Boy's past, and I was really excited for that. It just felt like a _crazy _fast rush of exposition. Here was something brand new, but there was no time to react or process any of it, since all the characters already appeared to know what was going on.

Luckily, things slowed down a little in the middle, and Cyborg even asks the question I'd been wondering this whole time: if Beast Boy used to be in the Doom Patrol, and everyone knows that, why doesn't he ever bring it up? The response is particularly strong line: "It was something I did once. I'm a Titan now. You're moving too slow!" Snapping, he takes off and flies ahead of everyone else. I _loved_ that moment, because it showed there really was something he wasn't willing to talk about. Finally, it started to look like he actually _has_ been hiding information about his past, and I think that's really the only way this can make sense.

Plus, it allows the show to display another side of Beast Boy. This episode goes back to serious VERY quickly- his voice and expression are totally different than usual.

And then what appears to be _Robot Man's dead body strung up in a tree with a 'trespassers beware' sign _shows up. Turns out he's okay, but yeesh. That was an intense moment.

Actually, Beast Boy's relationship to all these people is really interesting, not just with Robot Man. As soon as he's in danger, it actually spurs Beast Boy on to yell 'Titans! Go!' and he doesn't even seem to notice that he's stealing Robin's line. Looks like he really cares about this guy.

Side note: I kinda like that they use the first names sometimes, like 'Cliff' and 'Steve'. Gives a relatable element, I think.

Anyway, whenever the Titans and the Patrol interact, it's dynamic. Even though Robot Man thinks they're pretty useless at first, we finally get our moment of grudging respect- he dismisses one of them (I think it's Cyborg) with a 'whoever you are'. Then we get one of the best lines of the whole episode, because it plays off of both the animosity between them and the knowledge we already have from the previous seasons:

"'Whoever you are'? Hey! I saved the Earth! Several times!"

I was so glad to hear that. I kept hoping, at some point, for a moment of catharsis where Robot Man's better-than-you nonsense would be interrupted by someone pointing at Raven and saying, "Hey. Hey. See her? Saved the world. She straight-up saved the world. WE saved the world. Shut up."

And then I basically got my wish. That was fantastic.

When the two groups finally fight together, it's awesome. Once again, there are some very creative combinations of attacks, especially once all the Patrol are free to join in.

However, I'm... weirdly disappointed by the villain? For some reason, I'm not a big fan of this Brain guy. His Google Speaker voice is really monotonous (and I get that's the point because he doesn't have lungs, but still, it's kind of annoying), he literally can't move on his own, and it's sort of lame how he really, really wants Mento to admit that he's better than him. That's pretty middle-school, bro. Not cool.

For the record, the gorilla guy is WAY more intimidating.

One line near the end really stuck out: Beast Boy, glowering at Mento near the ending, muttering, "So now I exist." That... that's not just a 'you gave me a stupid order' resentment. I think there's something deeper going on there.

Speaking of which, Let's Talk About Mento.

I wanted to punch this guy so freaking bad. Now, I'm sure he's a good character. His whole 'the mission is more important than saving individuals' thing is tough to swallow, but I can understand how he believes it. I know he has reasons for the way he's acting.

However, right now, I hate him.

It's not just that he gave him the 'let everyone die' order in the beginning. It's not just that he did the same thing near the end. It's that, even now, _he still thinks he can order Beast Boy around and make him feel bad about himself. _

I wanted so much for Beast Boy to just shut him up. He's not in the Patrol anymore, and he actually did save their lives. Two legitimate reasons Mento should NOT be giving him crap, and yet he keeps jabbering. And what makes it even more painful is that Beast Boy never gets his moment of standing up to him. It keeps going on, and you think it's gonna happen, and it just... doesn't.

Hoo, that's makin' me mad. Cartoon steam blowing out the ears with a kettle sound and everything.

(I'm sure I'll really love this story once I've seen more of it, and it doesn't feel so rushed and frantic in my head! I'm not worried at all, if you're wondering. Can't wait for the rest!)

[]

**Jokes and Questions: **

-Tuba in the bathtub. He's trying to sell the other Titans on a tuba that's in a bathtub. That's it. That's the whole product. I love this show.

-Cyborg's actually happy that they're under attack, because it means they can skip Beast Boy's comedy thing.

-Robot Man, while running up to attack a laser-fortress-thing, randomly destroys like a hundred trees. I do not know why.

-This music is pretty bizarre. Whenever there's a wide, scene-transition shot of the jungle, while characters are traveling across the landscape... a jazz saxophone starts up.

-Okay, this is hilarious. Beast Boy stands up to Robot Man, saying that they're not in the Patrol anymore, and he needs to work together with the others. Robot Man gets an entire shot, with a focus on his face and everything, where he just mumbles nonsense for a few seconds and tries to process this.

-I'm completely lost on this 'it's been five months' thing. How did Beast Boy know it had been that long, if he left the Patrol years ago? And why did it take _that long_ for the probe to find him, when he's part of a famous superhero group? And if Robot Man has been asleep for that whole time, how on earth does he know all about the machines in the jungle? But if they've been active for that long, why doesn't he know that following them back to their base will work? I don't get it at all!

[]

So that last update of season four was a little more grandiose than it should have been. I'm sorry for acting like kind of a self-impressed weirdo? Like, I didn't mean to sound like I have this crazy high opinion of myself and this writing.

But I'm not sorry about the mushy thank-yous and stuff. That was all real.

**(Also, the second installment of 'Hemlock and Mutineers' is finally up! I've been working on it a ton these last months, and I'm really excited to have it finished after all this time. If you're interested, why not check it out? Might be fun.)**

Next up: **'Homecoming, Pt. 2**'. Wow, I... didn't know this was a two-part episode until I checked just now. I mean, this seemed like a pretty solid self-contained story, yeah? No cliffhanger or anything. Huh.

(Ah, it feels good to say this again.) Later, dorks!


	57. Homecoming, pt 2

Season 5, Episode 2

**The Students and the Teachers**

[]

Everything was hot. The steam rising out of the jungle, the sun beating down into the humid air, the black metal under his hands…

And the sparks jumping off the machine as Robot Man destroyed it.

He was on top of the android, keeping it down, making sure it couldn't go after the rest of the Patrol. He gave it another punch for good measure, but he knew he wasn't really changing anything. Anyone who knew anything about robots could tell that this one- trembling, hissing, making all sorts of noises no machine should ever make- was about to blow.

Still, he couldn't leave. He had to make sure the others got away. And maybe the signs of malfunction were just a trick, a ploy by the Brain to get him to run away too quickly. Maybe the robot would just get back up and keep fighting.

No, he had to stay. Even if it killed him.

That was pretty much the plan, anyway.

He'd asked Mento about it, once. The leader hadn't been too specific, but spoke as if he didn't expect any of them to make it out alive. As if the best possible result would be that they give literally everything for this mission. As if it really was their last.

Heh. The last Doom Patrol mission. It had a nice ring to it.

Still, as he stared down at the shaking metal, he wondered. He wondered if Mento and the rest would make it to their destination. He wondered about the kid, and if he was really sold on joining the team again. And his friends- what had they been called? The Titans. The Patrol had more or less told them to leave, right? Maybe they really had.

It was even warmer, now. Louder, too. The snap of sparks and hiss of grinding metal was getting too much to bear. It wouldn't be long.

Robot Man closed his eyes.

And then a tremendous weight slammed into him, carrying him off the android completely- the force of the blow sent both him and his mysterious attacker flying sideways. Soaring through the air, they landed in a more open part of the clearing, tumbling amid the mud and decomposing plants of the jungle floor.

Groaning in pain, he raised his head. "Wha-"

In an ear-splitting crash of fire and light, the machine finally exploded. He was far enough away to avoid the brunt of the blast, but he still felt the wave of heat hit him as he turned away from the awful spectacle.

For a moment, he simply blinked up at the sky. Smoke filtered into his vision, and he thought he could hear small fires crackling in the undergrowth. Won't spread, though, he thought vacantly. Ground's too wet. Everything's too humid.

"Not a-" A voice nearby broke into coughing, and Robot Man strained to turn his head. On his side, Cyborg of the Teen Titans was lying in a similar position, blinking and wincing up at the trees. "Not- bad- rescue mission- huh?" he said with a painful grin.

"…What were you thinking?" Robot Man finally asked.

Cyborg took a wheezing breath. "Could- ask you- same," he replied.

More silence. He wanted to say something more- that they were just kids, that they shouldn't be trying to handle a situation like this, that Cyborg just did something incredibly dangerous and foolish. He didn't say any of that, though.

It was because he was exhausted, he decided. Yeah. That was the reason he didn't tell him off.

Cyborg chuckled softly, then raised his hands up at the sky. "Boo- yeah."

[]

Everything was dark. He couldn't see, exactly, but 'dark' was the closest word he could think of. He'd been trying to make his way through the emptiness, but nothing happened. He couldn't even be sure he was moving at all. He was in a blank world, and he couldn't do anything to change it.

Negative Man hadn't made it back to his body in time.

He'd gone long stretches before, sure- the time the Brain had put him and his body in two different capsules came to mind. But he'd never come so close, only inches away from safety, only to fail. Only to sink into the desert ground, falling until it didn't feel like falling, didn't feel like _anything,_ because now it was just darkness and silence and nothing at all.

Back in the wasteland, his body would be hunched over- useless and weak. For all intents and purposes, dead. And he was here, wherever _here_ was, incapable of doing anything.

Or maybe he was already dead. Would he know the difference? Probably not.

Halfheartedly, he tried moving again. Nothing. No sensory input of any kind. Only his thoughts continued, changed, gave him any indication that he existed. Even that, he couldn't be sure of. Could dead men think? Could they still dream?

Something pulled at him.

At first, he felt a shock of panic at the unexpected contact. Then, instantly, he realized what it meant- something was out there. Something moved. That meant he could move, too.

As soon as he felt the force again, he tried his best to… follow? Hold onto it? Let it guide him? It was difficult to describe, but soon, he felt as though this mysterious presence was pulling his being in a definite direction. It even felt like things were getting lighter, somehow. Easier. Faster.

Soon, he was moving. He could know for a fact that he was moving, and that alone filled him with joy.

It seemed too fast- suddenly, the blank world around him was gone, replaced by bright lights and whistling winds and dry air. Something pushed him further, and in seconds, he found himself back in his body.

Just like that, he'd been saved.

He didn't gasp or cry out. He felt like he was finally awaking from a long sleep; he needed time to breathe, time to move his hands and feet and stand up without trembling and falling back down. When he finally turned around, he saw one of the Teen Titans standing before him. Raven, if he remembered correctly.

He had to search to find his voice. "…You," he rasped, voice weak and tired. "Thank you."

The girl gave him a brief nod. She didn't exactly seem full of energy herself. He winced as feeling returned to his joints. "Where are the others?"

"Ahead." Raven glanced down at a communicator. "We split up. The plan is to regroup with both teams, then provide reinforcements when we get to the Brain.

Huh. She was… giving him orders. Mento would throw a fit.

Negative Man would have smiled, if it were possible. "Lead the way."

[]

Everything hurt. She'd been holding the stone for too long, for what felt like hours, and every muscle in her body was crying out in pain. She couldn't let go, though- not until she was absolutely sure Mento and Beast Boy had escaped. Giving up before then could prove catastrophic.

Still, it was hard to ignore the fiery ache in her arms and shoulders. Elasti-Girl gritted her teeth, trying to get a better hold on the boulder, but it didn't matter. It was crushing her, and she couldn't stop it.

She could only survive, for as long as possible.

The rock slab shifted. It was trembling, she thought- but then she realized that she was the one who was shaking. It wouldn't be long now.

Noise was filtering through the dust, but she couldn't make it out. Was it Beast Boy, desperately trying to save her? Mento, still fighting? Or both of them, finally running away, just like he'd planned?

Maybe it didn't matter. She shut her eyes tight, arms almost numb from the constant pressure, wondering if she could continue pushing upwards for minutes, or even only seconds-

The burden was lighter.

Not gone, but lighter. Elasti-Girl realized with a start that she had no trouble holding the boulder anymore- it was as if someone had lifted a load off her shoulders, suddenly allowing her to stand up straighter and regain her strength.

…No. More than that. Allowing her to cast it off completely.

With a growl, she summoned the last vestiges of her power and _threw _the stone, gasping in shock as the weight suddenly vanished. It soared through the sky, eventually crashing into the side of the valley, and rocks were cascading down onto the wasteland below, and dust was rising up, and the sun was shining and every part of her ached and the wind was blowing and she was alive.

She was alive. Shuddering with the realization, she shrank down to normal size and fell to the ground, nearly overcome with gratitude.

"Are you all right?"

Someone was standing over her. With a start, she looked up to see Starfire, one of the Teen Titans she'd met earlier. She seemed worn out, but still cheerful, even through her concern.

"…Yes. Well- I will be." A deep, shuddering breath escaped, and she held her head in her hands. "It was so close. I nearly-"

"But you didn't," said a voice outside her vision. "Neither did anyone else."

The leader was there, as well. Robin. The famous Boy Wonder. Surprised, she looked back to Starfire. "You saved them? Both of them?"

In answer, Starfire hit a button on her communicator. "Raven? Cyborg? Can you confirm that the Doom Patrol members are safe?"

"Don't get used to it, kids. We'll be saving YOU next time."

"Ah, give it a rest, Cliff."

As a sense of relief washed over her, she smiled. "That's them, all right," she said with a laugh. "I can't thank you enough."

"Raven. Cyborg. Rendezvous in the canyon pass, and follow us as soon as you can." Robin set his own communicator back on his belt and looked to Elasti-Girl. "You know where they're headed, right? Can you lead us there?"

"Yes." She sighed, looking to the distance, where Beast Boy and Mento had gone. "I only hope we're not too late."

Cyborg's voice echoed over the machine. "Yeah, 'cause if we don't hurry, Beast Boy'll take 'em all down without leavin' any for us!"

It made her smile, but she knew in her heart it wasn't true. They would need help. They would need everyone.

She turned to Robin, resolute. "Let's go."

[]

[]

[]

(Scrapped idea: perspective-swapped version of this story, from the view of each of the Titans as they were rescuing the Patrol members. Ended up really flat and stale. I actually had all three written out before rewriting it.

Scrapped idea: Rouge and Mallah, in the past, somehow organizing all the villains. Two reasons it didn't work: one, I couldn't come up with a good idea for how they got all those people together, and two, I don't think I know either of these two well enough to write about them. They're pretty weird and interesting, though.)

[]

Okay, so you know how after last episode, I was really angry with Mento? Frustrated with the way he was treating Beast Boy, annoyed by the things he said to the Titans, but at the same time, really wishing I knew more about his past?

Well, that's changed. Don't get me wrong, I'm still upset with this guy. But it's a different _kind_ of anger. It's more mature, I like to think. Like a fine wine, developed and allowed to change naturally over a long time. That's my Mento-rage.

Mostly because he's a lot harder to hate now. He's more complicated, and there are things I assumed I knew about him that I now realize I _don't _know. In other words, I'm forced to admit that this is a really good character, in a _really _good story, even though I don't like him. The main decision he makes in this episode is fascinating in every way.

(By the way, what exactly is the deal with his powers? At first, I assumed they were 100% mental, like reading minds and stuff like that, and the weird beam was just a way to show it. But now he can… hit things? And move stuff out of the way? Also force fields? I'm a little confused on the limitations here.)

So Beast Boy, in the opening scene, is on pretty friendly terms with everyone in the Patrol. And even though he's not happy to leave the Titans, he's still able to joke around with his old friends. So the split, however it happened, can't have been THAT bad, right?

And as the episode progresses, a lot of it echoes the old Doom Patrol mindset we saw in the opener to the first episode. No one wants to admit to Mento that they're having any kind of trouble except Beast Boy, who says they should get the Titans' help. Mento immediately refuses, saying they can do this on their own. When given a direct order, Beast Boy responds with "Yes, sir."

And Mento still thinks he's in charge of everything. He comes up with the plan and basically commands everyone else, Titans and Patrol alike, to go along with it. Again, this includes Beast Boy.

And for some reason (this still really bugs me), Beast Boy feels like he has to go along with it. Either he still thinks he owes them somehow, or Mento has a weird hold over him? Like he's doing it to gain the guy's approval or something. Anyway, he goes along with the group, and they start getting picked off, one by one.

This is where it gets interesting.

Most of this episode, I was really mad because Mento keeps telling Beast Boy to leave people for dead, just like he did in the first episode. And, to make matters worse, the others kind of seem to be going along with it, even when it doesn't look like they necessarily have to fall behind (like Robot Man, who _really_ seemed like he just could have run away, and Negative Man, who immediately suggested that he should stay behind to deal with the mines. Also, whose fading-into-the-ground-inches-away-from-his-body scene is my new nightmare).

Everyone's acting like this one mission is important enough to let people die. Mento says 'he already did his part for the mission', and Rita says 'Put it out of your mind- it helps.' Almost as if this has happened before.

Or, more accurately, like they were _expecting _this to happen.

This part gave me chills. Beast Boy looks up at Mento with a flat glare, and says quietly, "We're not coming back, are we?" I still can't believe this plotline exists- that Mento actually expected this mission to be everyone's last. That's really freaking tough. And then I considered that, maybe, _that's the reason Mento didn't want to ask the Titans for help._ It actually makes me respect him a little more, I think.

In fact, I'm a little worried. Does he have some kind of death wish? Several different times, he acts and talks like his own death- and everyone else's- is a sure thing, and trying to do anything to stop it would be a mistake. That's pretty unsettling. Beast Boy eventually persuades him to accept outside help, instead of, you know, _dying,_ but it still creeped me out. Why was he so set on this?

Anyway, the rest of the episode goes pretty much how you'd expect, in good ways. Beast Boy convinces Mento to let other people help him, and the two of them share an absolutely _clutch_ moment before the last battle, where Beast Boy runs so fast that the lasers lose focus and destroy each other. Mento casually blows up all the mines, and the two just walk straight into the base like kings. It's awesome. The last fight, when everyone shows up again, is pretty cool too- but it's not a lot different from the one we saw in the last episode.

And then Mento more or less gives the Titans his blessing, finally recognizing them as worthy heroes. And I'm left with one last infuriating detail that I can't quite unravel, and once again, it's about Mento.

Remember when I said maybe Beast Boy is seeking Mento's approval? I think that idea is what bugs me the most. Here at the end, Mento does the whole 'grudging admiration and respect' deal for all the Titans, and Beast Boy acts like he's really happy about it. But… I don't know, my first impression of this guy was that he was kind of arrogant and controlling. So I sorta think Beast Boy and the others shouldn't _care_ what he thinks. Does that make sense? Maybe I'm not making sense.

And I don't know what I think about the turnaround, really. Mento's suddenly more respectful of everyone, and even willing to let others lead. And Beast Boy's suddenly on speaking terms with the guy, even saying Mento is the reason he became a good hero. Weren't they really mad at each other because of everything that had happened? Beast Boy's leaving, Mento's harsh and callous leadership style, and Beast Boy disobeying his orders in the past? But pretty quickly, they've gone to 'we respect and appreciate each other', and I'm not sure why.

Maybe I'm just bummed because I still haven't seen an example of them interacting back in the Doom Patrol days. At least, an example that didn't end in them angry with each other. So when Beast Boy says that Mento made him who he is, I don't really get it.

And of course, I'd be remiss if I didn't talk about how _pumped _I was at the very end, when the Brain reveals that he collected every goshdang villain the goshdang show has ever goshdang had. That's… that's pretty awesome. Even if the Brain still isn't my favorite villain, I gotta give him props.

Because, you see, he brought back all my favorite villains.

(Also, they scrolled past a bunch of characters while describing the 'new generation' or something, and I don't think I recognized any of them. That was strange.)

[]

**Jokes a la carte**: Um, wow. We're saying this old dude literally taught Sun Tzu everything he knew about war? Aaaaalrighty then. That's a bizarre real-world connection to make.

-Oh my Lord, Madame Rouge's accent is the best thing ever. "_Not some-ting I vould RRRE-KO-MEND."_

_-Guys, I feel bad, but most of the time, I have no idea what Monsieur Mallah is saying. _

-Mallah taunts Beast Boy by saying his intelligence is greater, so Beast Boy rams into him as a triceratops. There's no particular joke there. I just thought it was funny.

-I've been trying to figure out a way to describe Madame Rouge's powers for, like, three days. I think the best thing I can come up with is my original note, which just says, "She goes all slinky."

-This is an unintentionally hilarious moment if I've ever seen one. Beast Boy lands next to the Brain to mess with the coordinates (and since he's just a brain he _literally can't move to stop him_), and after he puts in the numbers, the Brain says, in an emotionless monotone: "YOU FOOL. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE." It's freaking amazing.

-And then B just swats his brain away! He's completely helpless on his own! I'm laughing, but at the same time, this is the exact reason I can't take the guy seriously as a major villain.

-"Garfield?" "Oh, I'm gonna get a _lot_ of mileage outta this one." And suddenly, Raven has her revenge. For every prank, every joke, every annoyance… this is not going to go well.

[]

Next up: '**Trust**'. Normally, I'd assume we're in for a less-serious one after two of this gravity, but this title sounds pretty solid, yeah? I guess we'll see.

Unfortunately, I can't promise that updates will be much quicker than this- maybe one a week or even slower. I've had more time than I thought I would, but not THAT much. And it's especially tough, because so many people have told me that they _love_ this season, and can't _wait_ till I get to certain episodes. I'm just as excited as you are! And I really am gonna do my best.

Later, dorks!


	58. Trust

Season 5, Episode 3

**A Sleight Trick of the Mind  
**

[]

A dark room, deep in the earth. The Brotherhood's plans aren't ready to move into the light just yet. For now, the silent and unseen headquarters is necessary.

Scattered metal plates and pieces of lab equipment litter the floor. On a raised platform near the wall, a perfectly healthy human brain is suspended in a vat of unidentifiable liquid. A machine to provide mobility is nearly ready.

Soon, he will be able to move freely.

A hulking presence steps past the threshold. Robotic and even, a voice asks, "What news?"

Nimble eyes look out from a beast's face. "A woman has contacted us," he rumbles. "She believes she could be of use to our organization."

"Does she?" The words have no inflection, yet their speaker somehow sounds intrigued. "Send her in."

The great animal hesitates. "…She has insisted on speaking with you alone," he says with a scowl. Brows furrowed and teeth exposed, he is clearly disgusted by the overconfidence of such a claim.

"Be that as it may."

He stiffens, then looks back to the entrance.

"I do not wish to repeat myself, Monsieur Mallah."

Growling, the creature makes his way to the exit. For a moment, quiet reigns again, until softer footsteps echo.

"The famous… Brain."

The heavy accent is a marked contrast from the other voice's expressionless monotone. "You think yourself worthy of the Brotherhood of Evil?"

"Indeed." Everything about the woman is calm and controlled, and she strolls through the empty room with a sleek smile and a lidded gaze.

"Such pride is only matched by the arrogance of your demands," the voice drones. "Perhaps I should command Monsieur Mallah to destroy you for your insolence."

The threat doesn't seem to faze her. "A wise leader should not be so quick to lose soldiers."

"And you are a soldier?"

"I am."

A pause. "…Our foes will not fight as soldiers do."

The woman's smile twitches. In an instant, her form blurs, and she is somehow standing in a different section of the room. Her arm flashes in the dim light, and one of the metal plates is suddenly gone with a _hiss_ of displaced air.

Another instant, and the steel collides with the wall, only inches away from the Brain.

Another, and she is staring at him from her original position as if nothing has happened.

The echo fades quickly in the cramped space. "The so-called 'heroes' of this world do not frighten me," the woman finally says. "Mysticism and science are our tools as well as theirs."

"From which do you draw your powers?"

She smiles before the voice finishes speaking, and it becomes clear that she will not answer. "I am more than capable in battle. You would be foolish to refuse my offer."

"Arrogance," the voice repeats. Then, almost as if taking a second to deliberate: "Depart. I will consider this."

A quiet hum, as if she is amused.

"You must realize, that if I decide you are not fit to join the Brotherhood, I will have no choice but to kill you."

Her eyes light up, and the second death threat seems to go unnoticed. "I believe you will make the right choice," she says softly. Then, slipping back into the darkness-

Step.

Step.

Step.

"She is hiding something from us."

From his place near the entrance, the gorilla scoffs. "Of course. She has said nothing of what she wants. Why does she wish to join us at all?"

"Beyond that," the Brain says. "She is too confident. Her fighting prowess is not the only source of her certainty."

"What do you suspect?"

The voice does not answer. "However, her skill is commendable," the Brain says eventually. "Is her aid worth the risk of trusting an unknown agent?"

He scowls again, but does not voice the obvious displeasure. "That decision must rest with you."

"Well said." Once again, silence falls as the animal leaves the room. Finally, the slight sounds echo off the stone, signaling the woman's arrival.

She says nothing. She only waits, an expectant look on her face.

The voice is as clipped and passionless as ever. "The Brotherhood of Evil will offer you a chance to prove your worth. Your request will be measured against your actions in the field. Failure will cost your life."

A glint in her eyes, she dips her head slightly. "It is… an honor." Turning, she glides into the blackness and out of the room. "You will be in touch, I presume. Farewell."

Minutes pass before the gorilla returns. He lumbers toward the Brain, seeming less frustrated than before.

"I believe it will be beneficial," the voice says slowly, "To have an agent so versatile on our side."

He frowns, with a slightly confused look about him.

"But tell me, Monsieur Mallah, did she divulge her name? What does she call herself?"

"…Who?"

The Brain only pauses for a moment. "The woman we spoke of. The one you brought to our lair."

Eyes narrowed, the animal shakes his head. "I… have not spoken to you, today."

In the shadows, a woman laughs softly.

[]

[]

[]

(Scrapped idea: This whole big, complicated, overzealous bank-heist story. A team of six operatives was gonna be completing their different assignments- disabling alarms, dealing with the hostages, breaking into a vault and everything. They start to realize something's going wrong- it almost seems like someone on their team is a mole. Big moment of realization when someone refers to Agent Seven over the radio, and just before he's taken out of commission, one of the robbers figures it out. Madame Rouge ditches her disguise and, having incapacitated the entire operation, waltzes in to take the money for herself. Before she does, though, Mallah approaches her with a strange job offer.)

I had part of a scene written out and everything, but then I realized the only part I was really excited about was the identity-twist. So, I figured, why not make the entire story based around that? And the other idea just wasn't working out at all, anyway.

[]

Eat your heart out, action movie junkies.

Holy Bruce Willis jumping a motorcycle into a helicopter, this episode is _nothing but fight scenes_. And I mean that in a good way! The action is solid, the music is intense and engaging, and the setup of the plot really works well for pushing everything forward into more and more danger.

There are still a few moments that focus on character, though. And that's... actually kind of a problem. Or at least, it's something that confused and slightly bothered me. But I'll get to that in a bit.

The atmosphere in this episode is off the charts. Every single location is _dripping_ with color, and beautiful animation, and a really awesome feeling of being in a completely different place. From the very first scene, with Wildebeest running away from a mysterious enemy (in a creepy purple-black landscape that reminded me of that dream-vision thing where Robin had a fake fight with Slade), this one's full of cool details.

Most of the story takes place in a vaguely Middle-Eastern-inspired city and its outskirts, and that's pretty fun as well. Even if it _does_ look (and with the music, sound) a little bit like it was taken right from the animation of Aladdin. It's always a gamble to go for a location that's completely removed from your main, well-known area, but I think it pays off here. Most of the action is at night, and the dark and brooding atmosphere of the place is pretty cool. The calmer moments work too- one scene is just Hotspot sitting near a fire, framed against the dusty walls and the purple night sky. Again, fantastic animation.

(Also, the Brain and Mallah are in Paris playing chess, for some reason. Even that's a well-shot scene. I have no idea why they're there, but it still looks cool.)

The fights here have some of the best, _quickest_ animation in the entire show, I think. We get Rouge's stretchy-arms going through torchlight and shadows in dark alleys, Hotspot's attacks illuminating the deserts and villages, a showdown in the rafters of a collapsing building, and a firefight in an _oil field_, of all places. Suffice it to say the explosions are plentiful. And not only is there a double-Robin fight scene, where the real and fake Wonders are going head-to-head, but the entire battle ends with Hotspot doing his best DBZ impression and whipping out a gigantic-fireball-beam-laser thing. It's a hoot, and I really, really loved it.

But yes, there's still something that bugged me. At the core, this episode is about Hotspot and Madame Rouge. They're the focus, they get the major fight scenes, they get most of the running time in between as well... and I know _absolutely nothing about them. _

This is partially my fault. I... I kind of completely forgot about Hotspot, and Wildebeest as well. On first watching this, I had no clue why they had communicators at all. Then I remembered 'Winner Take All', and things made a little more sense. I guess I kinda thought that one was a continuity-free deal? I mean, it ended with all the girls getting warped to the Game Dimension or whatever for a last-minute joke. I must have assumed nothing in that episode was gonna last.

The point is, I don't remember anything about Hotspot's character in that episode except that he was kinda sarcastic. And _everybody_ was kinda sarcastic in that one. There's a scene in here where he finally powers down, and we get a look at his normal face- and I realized I'd never seen him without the fire and stuff. I don't know anything about his past, or what his personality is, or what he likes, or who he has relationships with, or anything at all. So when the end rolls around, and he has a bit of a mental breakdown over seeing two Robins and not knowing which is the real one... it's tough to get really invested for him. I just don't know him. It's weird.

It's a little easier with Rouge, because the episode isn't from her perspective so much, so we can see her as just the villain and enjoy how cool she is. I knew she had the Mr. Fantastic powers (or, if you prefer, 'Elastigirl' from _The Incredibles_), but I had no idea she could move through grated walls and create gaps in her torso for Hotspot's fire attacks to harmlessly go through. And I DEFINITELY didn't know she could change her voice and appearance to perfectly match someone else's identity whenever she wants. That's pretty amazing.

(Also, for the record, I am 100% down with the possibility of Rouge eventually rebelling against the Brain because she doesn't like how he's operating. Or, maybe, because of the way he orders her around. I'm just saying. Could happen.)

But even though she's cool, we're still working with a brand-new character. So when she's taunting Hotspot and trying to mess with him, it's not quite as engaging as it could be. If either the hero or the villain in this scenario was someone we knew, someone whose past we could remember or whose actions we could compare to other times, maybe things would be a little different. For now, though, this is just a really fun, really fast-paced bit of action.

And the big reveal at the end is pretty dramatic. So, she has the communicator now, yeah? And Hotspot is either out of commission somewhere, or straight-up captured by the Brotherhood. This is not good news for our lil' band of heroes.

(Also, I got way too much pleasure out of slamming down my fist and screeching 'I FRACKIN' CALLED IT' both times Rouge was impersonating a Titan. Once when- as Robin- she's sweating and asking Hotspot for his communicator, and again at the end of the episode when a teenage boy grins evilly and starts speaking with a woman's voice. Lots o' fun.)

[]

**Jokes: **Okay, this fight banter is amazingly terrible in all the best ways. "I'm sure a nice lady like you wouldn't want to fight me." "...I vould not be so sure." Are you guys flirting right now? Seriously?

-There's a moment, where Hotspot is trying to get away from Rouge. And just for a single scene, he has the _absolute silliest run imaginable. _It's a thing of beauty. He's high-stepping and waving his hands and everything. I think it might actually be an error.

-Hotspot: "How? She's practically unstoppable!" Rouge, feeling pretty great about herself but still pretending to be Robin: "Indeed. I mean, uh... yeah, she _is _impressive."

-Okay, she just said Firestar instead of Starfire. So... the Brain was actually right? I mean, she's messing up because she didn't know her enemies well enough.

-Um, what was the actual plan, Rouge? Put him inside your belly? The guy who is _literally on fire?_ She just tried to put Hotspot in her torso!

[]

Next up: **'For Real**'. I'm really going to try to have a longer, more fleshed-out story for the rest of these episodes, and maybe try to pare down the 'review' portion so it's more compact and meaningful. Less fluff, and hopefully more content in the stories than just the reviews. That's the plan.

Later, dorks!


	59. For Real

Season 5, Episode 4

**We Demand to Be Taken Seriously  
**

[]

"So, let me get this straight-"

"Okay."

"…The Teen Titans are on a world-saving mission, somewhere on the other side of the planet."

"Yup."

"And they asked the… Titans East… to watch the city for them."

"Uh-huh."

"And then, the Titans East asked _you_ guys to cover Steel City while _they're _gone."

"Right."

"So…" The kid scratched his nose, blinking. "Who are you, exactly?"

"Ugh." Heavy, the recently christened superhero, sighed and grabbed the kid's shirt collar. Taking careful aim, he threw him across the park, where the child instantly got stuck in the upper boughs of a large willow.

"Heavy!" Behind him, a woman in a dark suit glared from behind a mask that obscured everything but her eyes. "You can't go around throwing civilians into trees! We've _talked_ about this!"

"Shut up, Ninjavenger." He scowled. "I just wish people would give us a little more recognition."

"Hey. Give it time." She tapped him on the shoulder with a long staff. "We're not doing this for the glory, remember? For now, let's just focus on-"

"Aaaaah! Someone, help me!"

Heavy narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, whatever, that's great. Look up there!" He pointed towards the edge of a rooftop twenty stories up, where a man was somehow dangling over the edge, a precarious grip on the concrete overhang.

"How'd he even _get_ up there?" Ninjavenger yelled, but Heavy was already sprinting down the street, his speed only increasing as soon as the man began to fall. His figure seemed to plummet downward in slow motion- as Heavy ran, he tried his best to pinpoint where and when the man would end up.

Hah. Super-intelligent, hyperfast powers of calculation. No one ever suspected it.

Of course, no one really cared about his powers anyway.

He ignored that last thought, reaching the spot exactly when he needed to. With a grunt, he leaped sideways and caught the man in his arms before continuing sideways and lightly crashing into a bench outside the building. "Gotcha!"

"Oof!" The man wheezed, and tried to roll away from him. "How… you… you saved me!"

Heavy stood up slowly, wincing. "Yeah, man."

"But how? Who are you?"

"Glad you asked." Now with a satisfied smile, Heavy pointed to Ninjavenger behind him. "We're the Super Rangers, and we're here to protect Steel City!"

The man's expression didn't change. "…Who?"

Heavy slapped his forehead, but Ninjavenger stepped forward. "We're taking over for Titans East," she said helpfully.

"…Who?"

Suddenly, the pavement beneath them started shuddering violently. Heavy stumbled and fell, himself shaking as the street bucked and trembled- without any more warning, the hissing tip of a gigantic drill burst through. In a matter of seconds, the rest of the machine had broken through, and the heroes found themselves staring down some kind of tank-drill vehicle.

The machine was fully on street level now, and before Heavy or Ninjavenger could make any other movements, a figure clothed in red and black leaped from a latch on the top. "At last!" he screeched, voice echoing loudly in the deserted streets. "My moment of triumph arrives! Finally, all of Star City shall feel my… wrath…"

The villain's words trailed off, and he glanced around the square, expression slowly growing more disappointed. "I'm in the wrong place," he announced matter-of-factly.

"How _dare_ you?!" Heavy uttered in a fury, taking a threatening step towards the tank. "Now, prepare to face a couple of real heroes!"

But his opponent was climbing back down through the entrance, grumbling the whole way about faulty directions. "Wait! Don't go!" Heavy yelled. "Uh, just… we're here to protect this city, and we'll never let you… um-"

A bored face poked back above the hatch. "Look, I'm sorry. Didn't mean to tear up your street, m'kay? That's my bad. Anyway, I'm out of here."

"WE'RE SUPERHEROES," he seethed. "I have super strength and super stamina and all that stuff. I could pick up that tank and throw it into the ocean! And Ninjavenger is the best martial arts fighter in the entire Eastern seaboard!"

"Wow," came a muffled voice from the vehicle. The engine started up again. "Super strength, and hand-to-hand combat. That's really original. I've never met any heroes like that."

"Hey, Heavy," Ninjavenger was glancing around with an uncomfortable look. "Maybe we should let this one go, you know? I mean, if the city's not in danger, that's actually a _good_ thing-"

"You know what? No!" Heavy was positively shaking now, and he pointed a dramatic finger at the tank. "Jeff! My name's Jeff! Bam! Secret identity!"

"Uh-huh. That's great."

"_Come on!_ Can't you at least use the information in some diabolical way to strike at my personal life, or destroy something in the city and convince me it's my fault and lead me on a life-changing quest to defeat you as my mortal enemy?"

"What? No. That's stupid." Finally, the drill started back up, and before long, the entire contraption was burrowing back into the ground.

For a moment, Heavy and Ninjavenger just stared at the hole in the concrete. The man who'd just been rescued awkwardly sidled away, sensing the uncomfortable situation.

Finally, a communicator beeped on Heavy's belt. "Bumblebee to Heavy. You there?"

He didn't take his eyes off the crater. "…Yeah, I'm here."

"Got reports of some pretty strange stuff. Everything alright back home?"

Heavy sighed. Unfortunately, there was only one answer he could give. He had to tell the truth.

It was pretty depressing.

"Everything's fine. We have it under control."

[]

[]

[]

So I was told that I'd probably like this one, because it has one of my favorite baddies in it. And you guys were 100% right about that, but I want to emphasize something else at the same time.

In this episode, _every single element is funny. _

I'm actually kind of stunned. I don't think there was a single joke that didn't at least make me grin. The overall plot was clever, the dialogue was sharp, the various detours into weird subplots were all perfect… I don't even know what to say here. This is definitely one of my favorites.

Take the opening, for example. Control Freak starts this one by literally talking about the last episode he was in. He acknowledges it by name. He just straight-up admits that the Teen Titans is a TV show. And then he somehow leaps from prison into the TV networks, and from there jumps into Titans Tower… where the Titans are spectacularly _not there._

All he wants to do is give them this crazy challenge, so he announces a grand speech to every room he stops in, but they're just gone. He gets more depressed each time, until he's barely even yelling. I actually feel kinda bad for the guy. Then, of course, trying to be all ominous, he says, "I can wait. _I can wait._" And Silkie nuzzles up against his leg, and he starts whistling for some reason. Fade to theme song.

You just _know_ this is going to be a good one.

It's so great seeing the Titans East again! Did they show up in Season 4 at all? I don't think they did. They have a fantastic back-and-forth banter with Control Freak, and I think it's because in this setup, they're both semi-underappreciated characters who are trying to get more recognition. With the Titans East squad, it's because they're in a brand new city and in the shadow of more successful heroes- but with CF, it's just that he's kind of inept. And no one takes him seriously, which makes for some hilarious jokes.

Honestly, this entire plot is brilliant, in my opinion. It's a solid explanation for 'How can the Titans be on this crazy mission if they're supposed to protect Jump City?' But at the same time, it's literally completely removed from the main Brotherhood of Evil story, so it can be totally silly while the season's plot is mostly being serious. I don't have anything funny to say about that. That's just clever.

Oh, one more thing about Control Freak: he's a fanboy. It's finally confirmed that he doesn't just hate the Titans, and want to destroy them; he also thinks they're the greatest. He's pretty much their biggest fan, and he _has costumes for each of them. _Aqualad even comments at one point, "You sound more like a fanboy than a nemesis." I thought I was being clever for noticing this, but then the show just highlights it. That's darn funny. And near the end, he actually does the same thing when he's introducing the Titans East. He's now their fan, too. We've come full circle.

Anyway, the plot for the Titans East is really unique. Most stories- and episodes of this show, too- would have the heroes fighting someone, and probably lose a battle about halfway through against a really powerful opponent, then have to learn something or discover a new ability before they regroup and win the final battle.

This… this is different. They just win, all the time. Every time Control Freak does anything, the Titans East just straight-up defeat him. Their only obstacle is the slight annoyance that comes from no one knowing who they are. Again, that's pretty freaking smart writing. Even the final fight scene, which is completely awesome and combines four separate challenges in a really interesting way, is eventually solved without a real problem.

One more thing. The Internet stuff is almost _embarrassing_, it's so perfectly spot-on. When was this season, 2007? Yeah? They absolutely nailed every discussion board and fandom website of any kind. Arguments about shipping, arguments about who's the _real_ heroes, people devolving into arguments for no reason- it's golden. It's absolutely golden.

I don't have any more to say. Here's da list.

[]

**Jokes**: I'm pretty sure Mas y Menos just said "Your house is our house." That's, uh, that's not how the expression goes, guys.

-Control Freak just ate the turkey leg! CYBORG WAS SAVING THAT, YOU MONSTER.

-Every time CF yells "Gah-rrrrrrrreetings, Titans!" it just gets better. He's more and more fed up each time he doesn't find them, so by the end he just fills the wall of computer screens with his gigantic face and screams at everyone. And they're not even the right Titans.

-Bumblebee's face seeing CF for the first time. She's confused, and horrified, and has no idea who he is. But it's immediately reversed, because the Titans East give this whole elaborate introduction, then… "Uh, yeah. Never heard of you."

-Did… Did Control Freak just do a 'Star Wars Kid' reference? With the lightsaber dance and everything? Wow. That's taking me back.

-He impersonates all the Titans, complete with terrible costumes, which is funny on its own. But then he gets to Starfire, and after being clearly in love with her, leans closer to the screen and muttes, "She's too good for Robin. He'll never appreciate her." And then the twins just chime in, "Si!"

-The Titans East are literally just eating popcorn while CF goes over his grand plan.

-'The list'. They have a list of dangerous enemies… and Control Freak isn't on it. "Plasmus, Overload, Johnny Rancid, the PUPPET KING?! They only fought him once! I'm a _recurring villain!_" That's a genius plot point, and some unabashed fourth-wall-breaking at the same time.

-This first battle plays out like an old-school, low-res RPG video game. There's a whole screen that's just CF yelling nonsense, because he needs a 'reaction screen' or something. I don't know. It's glorious.

-After the twins get hit with the English laser: "Nothing happened!" "Must be the batteries." "…AAAAH!"

-Control Freak, pouting like an eight-year-old: "I brought this cool magnetic repellor for Cyborg… but who cares. All these woulda worked on the REAL Titans! It's just- your powers are- _stupid!_ I don't wanna fight you anymore." *sticks out tongue, leaves*

-Aqualad trying to explain the situation to Cyborg. "We had to deal with Control Fr-" Bumblebee interrupts. "_Controlling Silkie!_ He's eating everything!" *shoves Aqualad across the room, he crashes into the wall*

-Bumblebee, describing Control Freak: "-who didn't even make _the list?!_" I'm so glad this list is such a big deal to everyone.

-This random old lady, to Aqualad: "Don't go in there! Wait for the Titans!" Ouch.

-Who is this man. I demand to know. He has a giant mustache, and he randomly poses all the time. He's amazing. (Although he gets completely destroyed when Aqualad explodes a fire hydrant from entire blocks away, and the water snipes him like a freaking heat-seeking missile.)

-One of Control Freak's Internet buddies: "IMHO, Robin's the only _real_ Titan." I can't express how accurate this is.

-"You look familiar! Are you Starfire?" Once again, ouch.

-"Starfire and Robin 4eva." "Starfire should be with BB." "No way!" THIS IS THE ENTIRE INTERNET IN FIVE SECONDS.

-The Titans East are literally saving lives. Aqualad, Bumblebee, and the twins save a drowning man, two construction workers about to fall to their deaths, and an entire train of people… and then we cut to Speedy, who hits a tree branch with an arrow and catches a cat. Yay.

-"I'm not Robin, I'm _Speedy_." This kid doesn't even change expression. He just blinks twice, with that same smile, and absolutely _no_ sign of any recognition. It's magnificent.

-"Let it go, unitard-guy." Yes, can I have that on a T-shirt, please?

-So… Control Freak has no idea that being tiny is part of Bumblebee's powers already? Like, that's a thing that she does. I'm pretty sure it only makes her stronger.

-This robot shark is named Glen. That is all.

-Aqualad accidentally makes a shark get stuck in a hole. Speedy rides all the missiles into each other. It's… it's kind of an insane ending.

-"Bumblebee and Aqualad forever!" They've been around for five minutes, and the shipping is already in full swing. Again: Internet. This is perfect.

-Control Freak comes out of hiding just to tell the Titans East "You guys are so cool!" He is then immediately arrested. Duh.

[]

Next up: '**Snowblind**'. You know what? I'm not gonna worry about the disparity between the story and the review anymore. Trying overly hard to come up with more stories, or longer stories, isn't going to make it any better if I don't have solid ideas.

Later, dorks!


	60. Snowblind

Season 5, Episode 5

**Eulogy  
**

[]

Robin stands in the snow. There's a faint voice in the back of his mind, telling him he should get back to the campsite and out of the cold, but he doesn't listen. The powder crackles and crunches under his feet, and a light breeze ghosts over the white plains- other than that, though, the world is completely still.

Frozen, you could say. He grins. Beast Boy would appreciate that one.

It would be… poetic, somehow, he thinks, if he were to see a brilliant crimson light, shimmering in a comet across the night sky. But he doesn't. Only the stars litter the blue field above him, so bright that they seem to illuminate the spaces between and create a map, of lines and arcs and pictures and never-ending worlds, stretching away from him in every direction.

Even now, though, looking up… he imagines a single light.

Blink.

A flash- here, then gone. A moment of fire in the heavens. An explosion beyond the canopy of night, like a comet coming into Earth's orbit for a blinding, precious instant. A human life, known for a minute, an hour, a day, maybe two, and then… nonexistent.

He stares up, where a star used to be, and he wonders. More importantly, he remembers.

Does he really know what it means to protect people? He mouths the word 'sacrifice', and the silent sound sends a twinge of fear up his spine, because of course he's _thought_ about it, but it's one thing to say he'll do anything to keep people safe.

It's another to see someone fulfill that promise, right before his eyes.

The cape around his shoulders feels too big, too heavy, and he casts his gaze down before shivering again. Questions of leadership, questions of responsibility swirl around his mind, demanding contemplation and challenging older ideas, and he's not sure exactly what to think. If it comes down to it, if there's absolutely nothing left, what kind of man can have the courage to leave the entire world behind?

The idea seems to fly up into the heavens, spreading and evanescing until it's as scattered and unknowable as the stars. He looks up one last time, and thanks the ghost of a hero before turning away.

[]

Cyborg doesn't go far from the camp. Far enough, though, that when he turns and looks back, it seems to be swallowed up in the vastness of the world around him.

The sky goes on forever, and the snowy ground keeps pace. It almost hurts to look at it too long. He exhales, and his breath appears suddenly- tangible and real, like a ghost tricked into showing itself.

Just as quickly, it's gone.

Another breath. He focuses, but even then, it's difficult to make sense of exactly what the air looks like. In a way, it's mist, but more lively; wind, but more solid; a cloud, but more frantic; water, but lighter; air itself, but heavier. Twisting and drifting feathers of haze, vanishing as fast as he can watch them.

Vaguely, he remembers clichés that he's heard people ramble on about, though they probably never understood them. 'Nothing lasts forever'. 'Everything changes'. 'Life goes on'.

In, out. A phantom breath, born and destroyed in a second. Impossible to take back.

…Cyborg looks to the sky.

With the stars in his eyes, he asks if he knew what it's like. To be changed so radically, so fundamentally, that no matter how hard he tried to move on and accept his new life, there were still days that he saw his reflection and didn't recognize himself. Maybe he expected his old life to last forever. Or maybe he never thought about it, simply enjoying the world with the people he knew and loved. Until, of course, the single moment it was all suddenly and irreversibly twisted into something else, when he lost a piece of himself and became a new man against his will.

A car crash. An injection. He wonders if they're really so different.

The mist dances away from him, an impossible combination of ice and water and air and vapor, and he says the words that Starfire spoke with such determination: _Embrace_ the power. Become who you were _meant to be_. And he thinks he understands, he thinks he's made his peace with what happened, but it's so strange to see someone else struggling with the same situation.

And to see that person, in a single act of power and finality and acceptance, disappear forever.

As it sometimes does, the longing comes back. A wish that he could return to how it all used to be- before the accident, before the operation, before the Titans. This time, though, instead of fighting the thought with memories of his life with his friends, he thinks about something else. Another man who didn't have a choice, who helplessly watched his life transform into something unrecognizable. But, in the end, a man who refused to live in the past.

Cyborg scratches the word 'destiny' into the snow, and he wonders.

[]

Raven sits in a small circle of frozen ground, the snow cleared away by a quick wave of her hand. Even if one of the Titans were to see her, they'd probably just assume she's meditating after the events of the last mission. In a way, she supposes, she is.

She's quiet as she looks over the field. It's truly beautiful- the light of the stars, already a million times scattered and twinkling, is divided and reflected a million times more in the glittering crystals of the snow around her. Infinitely small points, diamond-bright, make the ground itself shine. The cold isn't too bad, but there's something about the scene that haunts her. Being out here, in the center of all the brilliance and all the emptiness, she feels like she can imagine what it was like.

Even so, she asks. She turns away from the mirrors in the snow and looks to the stars themselves, asking how he made it through. She asks how it felt, facing the voices and the glares, when everyone he'd loved turned their backs all at once. The scorn, and the rejection, and the way they _feared_ him when he was trying his best to do what was right.

Because she can imagine it. They're staring him down, accusing, declaring that _he_ did this, _he _brought pain and death and destruction to their world.

…It's not exactly the same, but thinking about it still hurts.

There's something noble in the idea, something difficult and painful. She can picture him, seeing and hearing it all, desperately hoping for a chance to clear his name and return home, and suddenly realizing that there's really no going back. No chance for redemption. There's only the opportunity to do what's right, even when the people he loves hate him.

And- and he _did,_ right? He triumphed, in the end. She tells herself that he rose above, that he overcame the fear and the lies and became a real hero, and she tells herself that she doesn't need to keep worrying about well-intentioned guardians being told they're going to bring nothing but ruin.

Still, it's a story she can't get out of her mind.

[]

Beast Boy kneels down, hands pressed against the ground. The snow chills him, and the ice steals the heat from his body- he doesn't care. He _wants_ to feel the cold. Any number of morphs could keep him safe and warm. But here, now, it just wouldn't be right.

Fingers closing around a clump of crystals, he crushes it with a quick hiss, and the frozen ground scrapes against his skin. He looks up, briefly worried, but it's late enough that none of the others are awake.

He's out in the snow in the middle of the night, after all. It's not like any of them would be doing the same thing. They'd probably think he's crazy.

Sighing, he raises a hand and looks at the snow on his palm. It's more water than anything, now, and the individual drops move slowly before falling to the ground with an almost-imperceptible sound. A wandering, unexplained thought appears in his mind- the image of that very hand, suddenly changing into something else. Something stronger.

And now he's picturing the man in the blizzard, screaming and holding his head as a red light threatens to tear him apart from the inside-

_-a terrible, awful power inside of you, and you know it's there, but you have to hold onto it, have to try not to hurt anyone-_

Trembling from the cold, he stands up quickly. He's remembering something he hasn't had to think about in a very long time, and the sharp sting of the air pricks at him as he looks up into the sky.

Voice shaking, he asks how he dealt with it, day after day. How he lived, knowing how _dangerous_ it all was, and how he kept going, when… Beast Boy stops, because he suddenly remembers _exactly_ how he dealt with it all. And he realizes that he himself might understand better than anyone else on Earth why the man who could level cities chose to hide himself away for so long.

He tries to think about the end, even with the pain of what happened- the people finally recognizing their hero, and the smile as he made the right decision and saved countless lives. Still, he feels just as cold as before.

[]

Starfire hovers in the air, only a few feet above the ground. A wisp of brightness on the horizon tells her it's close to morning, but beyond that, the world is a dark and shining landscape surrounding her, above and below.

There's a space in the sky that catches her gaze, even though she can't know exactly where it happened. A spot of darkness, where there used to be light.

She stares, but she doesn't ask anything.

The wind is picking up, and it pricks at her arms, but she doesn't move. She… _knew_ him. Even if only for a short time, she talked to him, helped him, encouraged him.

Yes, he made his decision. Yes, he saved lives. But while she tries to think about inspiration and heroism, the image that keeps flooding her memories is the face, drifting away into the black- and then suddenly, the light of a newborn star, dying just as quickly.

What can she remember from the man who vanished into the sky? How can she honor him?

She wants to be grateful, and proud, and solemnly bid farewell to his memory, but there's a sorrow gripping her heart like the cold around her. When she first saw him, he seemed so scared. So powerless, even with all his strength. And completely, utterly alone.

Cut off from his people, lost in a wasteland he couldn't understand. Even when he died, he'd been… alone.

She knows she should get back, should join the others and try to get some sleep, but there's something hypnotizing about the world at this moment. Even with her thoughts pulling at her, there's a grand tranquility about it all- just for now, she can keep floating here, halfway between the solid ground and the unknowable sky, where a red light flared with power before it was snuffed out.

It's good, she thinks, to hold onto the memory of a hero. His words and actions and fate might fill her with unease, and doubt, and some strange mixture of hope and worry, but she still knows: she won't forget him. None of them will.

And when she does turn around, when she makes her way back to where her friends are waiting, she wonders if that's the point. Maybe they can all keep hold of his story. Maybe they'll learn, and grow, and understand the decisions they can't yet.

She looks up once more. Again, she doesn't ask anything- but this time, she stares at the brilliant light of a star, not the darkness around it.

"Goodbye."

[]

[]

[]

(Weeee're back. Sorry this took so long- I got caught in a nasty crossfire of schoolwork, travel schedules, and even a bit of existential what's-the-meaning-of-life stuff thrown in there. It's not true to say any of those three are less busy now, but hey, at least we're here, right?)

Man, this one was strange. I have to be honest, I didn't love it at first- and I wasn't thrilled with the main character, Red Star. But as time passed, and I kept thinking about it (and trying to write this update, which- as you know- took forever), I realized that it was actually sticking with me. I really couldn't stop thinking about this story, particularly the ending.

But first, the beginning. It's possible that I'm not remembering enough of the episodes to make this call, but... I think this is the most intrigued I've ever been after just the opening. Or, it's the most interested I've been with a brand-new character. We see this hooded guy free an animal from a trap before blasting a bunch of poachers with some kind of mysterious red-explosion-beam thing, but he clearly doesn't want to use it.

That's a solid scene. And it gives a clue that this guy is trying to do the right thing, not a bloodthirsty killer like he's accused of being later.

Speaking of cool scenes, how about this one: the Titans' first appearance, when Raven creates a black dome around them all, and Starfire illuminates the whole thing with green light, throwing the whole team into a really interesting set of shadows and angles. It looks really intimidating, but also tense, and you can feel how worried and unsure they are in this new place.

Unfortunately, there's a bit of a problem with some of the other scenes. They're, um, they're _really freaking hard to see._ Part of this episode's deal is that there's a mongo blizzard going on most of the time, so there's a heavy curtain of snow over most fights and chases and things like that. I get that it's part of the effect, and it's used to hide villains or keep people's faces obscured, and that's fine. But it's also physically painful sometimes. My eyes started stinging about halfway through, and at one point, I realized I literally couldn't keep track of where the characters were or what they were doing. It's kind of tough.

Hey, wanna talk about Starfire? I've mentioned before that I'm often surprised by how strong she is, and how it's possible I have some pretty sexist misconceptions I have to work on. But this episode REALLY showed how powerful and intelligent and capable she is, and I think I realized why it took me so long to realize it: it's not because she's a girl. It's because she's _happy_. Think about it: how many heroes have you seen that are either hyper-aggressive and angry all the time, or serious and mopey to the point of being obnoxious? But Starfire's genuinely excited about things, and actually believes the best of people, and that actually makes her an even better hero. It isn't hidden behind sarcastic quips like it is with some others- she's one of the most sincere characters I've ever seen.

That's pretty cool, is all I'm saying. Starfire's cool. And when she volunteered to trudge through the radioactive frozen wasteland, completely alone because nobody else can do it, I realized I haven't been taking her nearly as seriously as I should. She RULES the fight scenes, and her heart-to-heart conversation that inspires Red Star to risk everything and come out of hiding is pretty intense as well.

Now, Red Star. It's probably obvious from the story that I really like this guy's story, and I think there are a lot of interesting parallels between his life and the Titans' experiences. But, if I'm being honest, I had trouble following exactly what was going on with him in this episode. After he saves Starfire from _dying of hypothermia_ (geez, that's dark), he starts in on a story that begins with the line, "It is I who may not leave."

As far as I can tell, he shut himself away in this hideout because everyone thinks he's the monster that destroyed their village. And while that's not true, because there's a DIFFERENT creature that did that, Red Star happens to share the same powers that it does? I think that's right. Kind of a nuclear-bomb-guy-from-_Heroes_ meets Combustion Man from _Avatar_. He has to siphon the power into these red vials every so often, or he'll accidentally cause more explosions- but there's also some sort of green radioactive river, flowing out of the hideout? And it's connected to the monster, somehow, not Red Star.

Later, once the Titans confront the people of the village, Starfire says bitterly, "Red Star is not the _only_ one to blame." That's a pretty forceful-sounding line, but I seriously can't figure out what it means. And just before he leaves to fight the monster, Red Star says to one of the elders, "I am sorry to have failed you... General." Again, I think that's supposed to be important, but I don't know why. How is this his fault? What are they really talking about?

I think I understood the super-soldier backstory pretty well, though. He was the subject of a test that went horribly wrong, giving him these awful powers and more or less exiling him to his current state. (The flashback scene, by the way, is strangely almost dialogue-free, and ends with a lot of people actually dying in a giant explosion. Also Professor Chang definitely showed up at one point. I'm not even sure how that's possible.)

The ending, though, is something entirely different. After the worrying about being 'too dangerous', and Starfire's encouragement to 'embrace the power', and Red Star's decision to finally leave and try to set things right, we see him literally drift off into space and then die in a gigantic explosion. I mean, he's definitely gone. That's... that's something I haven't seen a lot in this show.

And we see the Titans looking into the clear sky, and there's this music playing, and... I just don't know. Something about that is really hitting me, and I'm not sure exactly why. I know I'll be thinking over it a lot, even after I move on to the next episodes.

(Also, I'm not much of a scientist, but am I right in thinking that a star that's about to go supernova and 'die'... is usually called a Red Giant?)

[]

**Jokes for the Kids**: I am absolutely in love with the bad Russian accents on this show. First Madame Rouge, now this guy. It's wonderful.

-Alright, Starfire's probably cold. These people want to help. I get that. But... her arms, legs, and belly are completely bare. So they give her a hat?

-"This is fake fur, right?" Ha ha, that's a funny joke for Beast Boy to make, ha ha... ha... wait a minute, that's kind of a legitimate moral issue for him, isn't it?

-Okay, Red Star and Starfire are inside, and they talk, then they go outside and wonder what to do, then come back inside and eat some soup, then go back outside. This all happens in, like, a minute.

-The scene where they chase the monster on jet skis is WAY more fun than it should be.

-Boy, it's really too bad that Beast Boy can't attack the monster. Like, at all. The others have things they can throw or shoot, but he's just kinda yelling.

[]

Next up: '**Kole**'. I think it'll probably be at least a week before the next update. My semester's nearly over, so after next Tuesday, I should have a lot more time.

Later, dorks!


	61. Kole

Season 5, Episode 6

**As Iron Sharpens Iron  
**

[]

_"General." Kole stared over the glaciers. "How long until we're ready for battle?"_

_"How long? I don't care, let's fight right now."_

_"Excellent." She nodded gravely. "We are, after all, leading an army of legendary alien ice-warriors into the Arctic Circle to save the polar bears from an invasion of mutant dinosaurs."_

_"Of course."_

Um, Beast Boy, that's not really how it went-

_"And the man Gnarrk has pledged the support of his ancestors the jungle-spirits, and is pretty much a total boss in general, so we have that."_

_"Perfect. And, may I say, what an exciting and original way for the two of you to have met."_

That's not what happened!

_"Thank you. We immediately saved each other's lives, like, five times."_

...

...

...

She didn't move a single muscle.

It was tempting to utilize her powers and become a solid crystal form, but Kole waited, keeping her breath even and steady. Her eyes were locked in a focused gaze, not even allowing herself to look around.

Inches from her face, the raptor hissed and growled.

She'd seen the cave from above. Back where the cold was like a blade, sharp and piercing, and she could hardly see from the biting gale that pounded at her skin and tore at her eyes unless she kept them covered. Her mind had been frazzled, paralyzed by the frigid air- lost in memories of bright eyes and eager smiles that promised friendship before trading it for profit, in a world only concerned with exploiting her abilities.

When the simple hole in the ground had appeared, she hadn't questioned it. Safety from the wind. Shelter.

And now... dinosaurs.

It hadn't made a decision yet. It seemed to be watching her, tilting its head to one side and making a curious chirping noise. Kole's mind raced, thoughts flying from potential escapes to ways she could incapacitate the creature. Even as she watched, it started to...

What _was _it doing?

More of the odd sound rang out, and Kole didn't let frustration or confusion show as the raptor continued its keening cry. No time for things like that. She had to figure out how to get out of this, and then- then she could-

She could keep running. It was awful, knowing she'd never be able to stop escaping. The last group of people hoping to make a buck off her powers had camped out here, in the tundra, probably thinking she wouldn't try to get away so far from civilization. They'd thought wrong. Kole was done with 'civilization', if it could even be called that. But what if she'd traded one wilderness for another?

She froze at a new sound- the clacking of claws against the stone floor. Heart sinking, she watched two other crested reptilian heads appear around a bend in the cavern.

_No. No, no, no, I can't- I don't know how to-_

Despite her best efforts, a hitched breath sounded out as she tried to stop herself from freaking out. The lead raptor perked at the noise. The other two were closing in, slowly but surely, and soon the three were even.

Then, a twitch of the eye. A curl of a talon.

Kole blinked.

At the exact moment the first raptor darted in, fangs bared and claws outstretched, she collapsed to the ground in a curled position- the crystal formed just before teeth clamped down against her. All three worked in tandem, trying to attack the hard surface with scratches and bites. Though she couldn't feel them, the blows were constant and jarring, physically and mentally shaking her.

One even circled around, as if hoping she'd be more vulnerable from another angle. It was hopeless, she realized. With the three surrounding her, she would die the instant she reverted to normal form, and the raptors were working themselves into such a rage that she couldn't possibly hope for them to lose interest and leave.

Completely alone. Trapped. The teeth started to chip at the crystal, and she knew that breaking and being destroyed was a real possibility. She had to think of something, but- the monsters were frothing with anger, and their growls and shrieks made it impossible to think.

No way out. She braced herself for more attacks, helpless.

...

A movement from the corner of her vision stopped her.

...

Someone was there. A man. A human.

_She wasn't alone._

It hit her like cold water. Even here, underground, someone else existed. For a second, she simply couldn't believe it, but there he was- standing at the other side of the cavern, eyes wide, staring towards the raptors around her. He clearly wanted to help, but didn't know how.

Still, he was there. And even though it didn't make sense, even though she'd been hating the thought of other people, she felt a sliver of light. As if even seeing another face was enough for some part of her brain to keep going, keep trying, keep hoping.

Kole made a decision, and tried her best to ignore the awful fear that came along with it.

First: the return to a non-crystal state. It was terrifying, and exposing, and she had no idea if the raptors' teeth would close in on her skin at any second, but she did it anyway. The instant her mouth and lungs were hers again, she let loose the loudest scream she'd ever tried. It didn't give much time- the dinosaurs were only stunned into a pause for the briefest of moments.

Next: the action. Kole scrambled to her feet, acutely aware that they were already closing in again. Gritting her teeth, she swung a fist towards the first gaping maw, then changed her arm to crystal again, and the solid weight slammed against teeth and gums, disorienting the beast.

Finally: reaction. She couldn't plan any further, because the three raptors dissolved into a chaotic mass; the first staggered back, but the others leaped on her in a whirl of claws, and Kole did the first thing she could think of. She let herself fall, and once again in a crystal form, collapsed on top of the second dinosaur.

It shrieked again, trapped at an awkward angle beneath her, and one of its flailing limbs knocked her away. Kole switched back before she could tumble too far. With two at least momentarily out of the fight, she quickly looked around to find the third- but it was already seconds from her, jaws gaping. Once again, she didn't have time to think.

Kole swung her head forward, catching the raptor in the mouth with a solid-crystal skull.

She was running before she could process the idea, even though it didn't make sense, there was _no way _she could outrun these things, and she didn't even know where she was going or how she'd get there and _why was she running towards the guy? _A stab of worry went through her mind, because she knew literally nothing about him, but the howls and clicks behind her quickly banished that fear in favor of another.

And it was when she was heading towards the hulking, silent man that something strange occurred.

He took off _towards the raptors_. Kole didn't slow down, but she couldn't help but stare as the man raced past her, then made a hard turn so he was running away from both her and the dinosaurs. Irritated and confused, the three creatures roared again and turned towards the closer target. The man disappeared through a dark, shadowy cleft in the rock wall she hadn't seen before. The raptors followed, and far too quickly, their sounds faded.

Just like that, she was alone in the cavern. Kole paused near another exit that seemed to lead into a slightly humid tunnel.

...What on earth had just happened?

She stepped forward, making her way through the dim space. Echoing footsteps and still air continued for a while, and after a long walk, Kole stepped out into a garden.

...

Impossible. There was no way she could still be underground, and staring at a healthy tree in front of her face. But here it was, leaves and branches and trunk as real as any she'd seen. Fields of grass and flowers stretched out as well, and she stood still for a moment, lost in the strangeness of it all.

"Gnarrk."

She almost jumped. The man had to have come back from another way, because he was suddenly there, standing in the field and giving her an uncomfortable, even nervous look. Like he was... scared of her. Or, she wondered, maybe he hadn't seen anyone else in a long time. Just like she hadn't.

Kole blinked, and tried to think of something to say in return. It seemed like an important meeting, for whatever reason. But really, they were just two people. Two random people.

Two people who'd escaped the raptors. And maybe they could get better at fighting, or escaping, or even helping each other. Maybe they'd even learn how to save each other's lives. Maybe they could be friends. Maybe.

She dipped her head. "Thank you."

He didn't seem to respond right away, but a large, beaming smile soon spread over his face. "Gnarrk."

For now, though, they were just the only people they knew. That'd have to be enough.

[]

[]

[]

I feel like I don't actually have a ton to say about this episode. Might be a disappointing analysis, honestly. My notes are pretty shallow:

'This is cool! Have the Titans ever fought dinosaurs before? Have they even fought animals, really?'

'I don't know about these characters.'

'This is weird. This is a weird fruit-eating contest.'

'I hope Kole turns out to be evil or something.'

'That was an okay fight scene.'

So yeah. Ebert I ain't. Anyway, this is... kind of an oddball. It's mainly about two brand-new characters, which is already tricky. It's in two really bizarre, unusual settings. It doesn't feature any central idea or attitude that changes over the course of the episode. It's just kind of there. It's just 'Kole'.

That's not a bad thing, it's just... well, maybe it is kind of a bad thing.

Here's an example. There's a whole plotline where Gnarrk is feeling bad because he thinks Kole likes the Titans better than him, so he... runs away? And then she goes and brings him back? And I was kind of scratching my head this whole time, like, "Oh, I guess I was supposed to feel worried about that. I, um, I was not." It's strange, you know? We have these two new people, and they're kind of cool, but I didn't really get invested at all.

Eurgh, I hate saying stuff like that. It sounds so stuffy and arrogant, like I'm some above-it-all critic who can't just enjoy the story and have a good time. But... I don't know, I just didn't think these two people were very interesting.

And then there's the stuff that's just _random._ Why IS there a fruit-eating contest that drags on so long? Why are there shots that just linger on someone's face, when they aren't speaking or changing expression? Why do the characters just kind of run places, then yell, "Over there!" and run somewhere else? Usually, with this show, I feel like I'm right there in the middle of whatever's going on, but this time I was kind of baffled. Most of the things that happened seemed to fly right past me, and that's kind of frustrating.

Doctor Light's pretty great, though. Kole making fun of him and going crystal to make his backpack-cage thing heavier is definitely funny. And there's even an awfully clever bit of foreshadowing, when Gnarrk smashes a lightbulb with a wrench- then uses the same wrench later to destroy Light's machine.

And lest I forget: the 'twist' ending was pretty freaking surprising for me, since I forgot the bad guys have a communicator right now. So we hear Kole saying something like 'you'll always know where to find us', or maybe something about how they'll keep staying underground, but we see all the silhouetted villains around the captured communicator, so they know EXACTLY where she is.

[]

**Jokes and Questions: **Okay, so. Doctor Light. Is it just me, or are all of this guy's plans kind of... harmless? And silly? Last time he wanted to 'flood Jump City with everlasting daylight', and now he wants to harness the power of the Northern Lights. That's... I guess technically that could cause problems, but doesn't it seem kind of adorable? I'm not entirely sure why the Titans want to stop somebody who's so wonderful.

-Doctor Light's voice actor is having _so much fun_ in this opening fight. He's yelling, and making puns, and loudly announcing how grand his plans are and how clever and strong he is. It's fantastic.

-For real, he brags about his perfect, indestructible machine like five seconds before it completely explodes. I love this man.

-The Titans just dispatched a villain with no record of success, and a hilariously nonsensical plan. They all fell into an icy hole, and there's a freaking DINOSAUR GARDEN OR SOMETHING, journey-to-the-center-of-the-earth style. And what's Robin worried about? "We need to find Doctor Light." Come on, man!

-Beast Boy talks to the raptors for, like, a solid 30 seconds. Then, he patiently walks back to the group, and Robin asks what they said. Calm as you like, Beast Boy explains, "Well, they wanna eat us."

-She apologizes because Gnarrk is scared of them, saying he's not so good with people from the 'upper world'. Beast Boy says 'neither is Raven', and there's an awkward beat of silence where she glares at him. Then Starfire bursts out laughing. I didn't expect that reaction.

-Beast Boy's response when Kole asks what brings them down here: "Gravity."

-There's a caveman holding a wrench next to a very smash-able light bulb. You get ONE guess what's gonna happen.

-Cyborg says he can't believe Kole's so tough for a little girl. She asks if he thinks only big guys can be tough. Starfire and Raven just sorta slide into frame without breaking eye contact with him, waiting VERY intently to hear his answer. He starts sweating bullets.

-"You're a sad little man, aren't you?" "Uh-huh." They spent like 100% of the episode fighting this guy, and suddenly he sounds like a dejected puppy. Also, geez, Raven, that's stone-cold.

-Oh, and I'm not even gonna list the light puns. If you can think of it, it's here. Shed a little light on the situation. Illuminating perspective. Shining moment. Bright ideas. They are complete trash and I love them.

[]

Next up: 'Hide and Seek'.

Hey, question for you guys! I'm looking at how the end of this project will shape up, and I was wondering: as fans who know the show, do you think it'd be better to end with the **final** **episode**, or the **movie**? I could easily do the movie before the finale (I'm guessing it's a two-part or three-part deal), if the series finale has the more satisfying ending.

Later, dorks!


	62. Hide and Seek

Season 5, Episode 7

**Acolytes**

[]

It was... strange, coming back after all this time.

Raven lightly touched down, planting her feet in the meadow of rough grass and semi-frozen dirt. The breeze that had been slightly hindering her flight kept up, causing her cloak to flutter in the wind and leading her to begin walking, past the dual rows of trees at the edges of the path. Almost like walking down a hallway, she thought, and at the end, a simple door waited.

They'd been able to _talk_, of course- those communicators always came in handy- but it was a poor substitute for actual face-to-face meetings. And she felt somewhat guilty that she hadn't found the time to visit before. So this would be good. Yeah. Not awkward at all.

She reached the entrance, raising an ancient door-knocker against the door. The echo seemed to fly back into the monastery, and it wasn't long before she heard the shuffle of feet coming closer.

...Dimly, some part of her mind wondered if she should have come by earlier, just to see how they were doing. It would have been nice to spend time _outside_ the context of immediate danger.

_The Teen Titans,_ she thought sarcastically._ We should hang out sometime, grab lunch, catch up, but only if everyone's about to die._

The inner monologue was interrupted when a balding man in a plain, modern-styled robe opened the great door. He blinked at her for a moment, then his eyes widened in surprise. "...Welcome, once more," he said. "It has been some time."

Her thoughts exactly. "Yeah, sorry about that," Raven sighed. "Can I come in?"

He paused, probably a bit rattled by the blunt tone. "Of course," he responded, but she was already making her way through. Emerging into the courtyard, she scanned the few separate buildings in the compound, looking for-

There. Another man, this one slightly taller and with an older face, was in a conversation not far from the main edifice's base. Raven drifted over the grounds, contemplating the best way to say what she needed to.

Only a few yards away, she stopped. The monk looked up and gave a warm smile. "Raven? How wonderful to see you! Far too long ago was the-"

"Father," she interrupted with a respectful dip of her head. "This monastery is about to be attacked. Again."

Hm. Probably could have been more tactful. Oh, well.

The abbot seemed startled, quickly whispering a few orders to the man beside him and sending him on his way. Once they were alone, he leaned in closer. "What do you mean?" he hissed. "By whom?"

A chilling howl rose into the sky, unnatural against the half-clouded glow of the midday sun, and a shudder went up Raven's spine as she watched the monk pale slightly. "Someone's manipulating the animals of the forest," she said quickly. "We're not sure how. For now, though, you need to lockdown the monastery, and get everyone inside."

"The _animals?_" He stared in disbelief, but seemed to clear the doubt away with a shake of his head. "All right. It will be done."

The more pressing request caused her to stop him again. "One more thing."

The abbot paused, and his eyes changed as he seemed to recognize her question. "Of course." Turning to the first monk that had opened the door, he instructed, "Find them. Explain, and bring them here." Without a word, the man departed.

"Thank you," said Raven, but the stiffness and officiousness of it all was starting to bother her. This felt too much like a missions briefing. She just wanted to see them again.

...So she could make sure everything was under control, obviously. Not for any other reason.

The man turned to her with a worried look. "How long?"

"Only a few minutes." Around her, the few monks who had overheard were already spreading the command, ushering each other into the main buildings and closing all doors on the outside wall. "They'll be ready in time?"

He nodded. "Certainly." Even in the tension of the moment, he smiled slightly, as if remembering something. "I'm sure they'll be happy to see you."

Gesturing around a small gatehouse, he led her to a large staircase that would bring them to the top of the wall itself. "How's that situation going?" she asked casually. "I've talked to them, but never thought to ask for your side of it."

While ascending the steps, he chuckled. "I don't think it's overstating to say you've changed the way we do things around here."

"Really?"

"Hm. In addition to their... _excitable_ personalities, they've brought quite a bit of attention our way, as well."

"Attention." Raven sucked in her breath. "..._More_ attacks?"

"Only occasionally." The abbot seemed unconcerned by the magnitude of what he was saying. "They have proven capable of defending us, when necessary."

She was quiet for a moment. "Then they see this as their home."

"And their duty to keep it safe." He gave her a knowing look. "Your actions have proved more important than you realized, no?"

Raven didn't answer- they'd reached the rampart. Taking a few steps onto the walkway, she reached the edge and gazed over the forest floor. "I will alert the others," the abbot said quietly, and slipped away. Raven barely noticed.

Sometimes, it really hit her how... _odd_ the world could be.

A shaking, panting mass of animals was racing across the path and fields. Wolves mostly, it seemed, with a few bears running here and there- Raven couldn't tell for sure, but their heads seemed locked in an unusual position. Either way, it was clear they weren't acting and thinking in a natural way. There was still a bit of time before they would reach the walls, but not much, and Raven prepared herself to fly down and attempt to stop the herd.

A sixth sense led her to look upward, though, and yet another bizarre sight greeted her: birds. Another monstrous swarm of creatures, this time made up of whirling feathers and cawing beaks and beady eyes. Black forms streamed out far ahead of the animals on the ground. She'd have to deal with them immediately, or they'd be able to surpass the walls with ease and-

What, exactly? Would they start dive-bombing the buildings? Try to break through windows or something? Raven shook her head. Villains were developing more and more outlandish ideas.

"Whoa." She turned to see a young teenager, probably thirteen or fourteen, standing on the walkway next to her. The redheaded boy scowled down at the scene before him. "...Alright, I'll admit, this is new."

"Yeah." Momentarily surprised he'd been able to sneak up on her, she frowned. "When did you get up here?"

His shoulders shifted, the perpetual look of disdain not leaving his face. "Sound powers. Learn to be pretty quiet when you want."

...

...Oh.

_Oh._

She had to do a double take. Timmy was- well, it would be redundant to say he looked different. The fiery hair was still short and spiky, and the freckles were as abundant as ever, but in every other way, he was a completely different kid. Taller, obviously. Leaning back, leaning in, like he was trying to pull away from everything in order to see it better, with eyes that took in as much as they could behind a sneering visage.

Wondering what to say, Raven drew a complete blank. "...Cool."

"Got a plan?" Timmy asked suddenly. He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, like he wanted to see how she'd respond. Like he was as unsure about all this as she was.

"Not much." Assessing the situation one more time, she spoke quickly. "If I take care of the birds, can you hold off everything at the ground level?"

"I think so." Timmy narrowed his eyes. "Although, maybe we shouldn't stop them from here. If they run up against the wall, it might be easier to- No." He put his hands on the edge, looking more thoughtful. "We're not trying to contain them- we're hoping to shock them into running, right? Get rid of whatever's messing with them."

Raven blinked. "...Yeah. Yeah, we are." She _never_ imagined he'd say something like that. And there was another thing still bugging her- as she turned back to look at Timmy again, she realized what it was. "So you've really been taking care of stuff like this for... for a while."

"Pretty much." He shrugged. "It's good to have backup, though." Just for a second, she thought she could see his face turn red, the way it used to when he was angry or embarrassed, and it occurred to her that he'd thanked her for coming back. More or less.

A brief chuckle sounded out. Without turning, Timmy said, "It's funny. I think I kind of forgot what you look like."

"Huh." Raven wondered if that should offend her, then decided she didn't really care. "Same."

Without another word, she launched into the air. Steadily rising upward, she was again confronted by the odd feeling of unease. Once again, something about the whole thing was just _off. _Maybe it was that so much had changed, or that she'd meant to organize defenses and lead the mission, only to find that the young heroes were already prepared for anything. Or maybe it was that she was floating in the sky, waiting to attack a giant flock of birds a hundred feet above a freaking monastic compound in the middle of the forest.

Raven sighed. Only a little bit ridiculous.

Still, it pulled at her. When the first birds reached her, and she went to work- when she sent them careening and crashing into the rest, disrupting the masses of animals in front of her- there was something in her mind she couldn't quite explain. And only grew as she saw that Timmy was fighting from the walltop, directing sonic yells of different frequencies towards the creatures running below.

Whatever it was, the feeling _spiked_ when she saw something else. The dozens of wolves, and even a few bears, rushing towards the walls of the monastery with single-minded determination... suddenly disrupted by fighting and chaos. Someone was fighting on the outside. Even worse, they were alone in the middle of a pack of vicious, insane animals.

Alarmed, she flew downwards quickly, hoping to reach the ground in time to help.

There was no one there. It was as if... pockets of _nothing_ were moving around, colliding with the animals and disrupting the charge. Raven couldn't see anything, but bursts of confusion and yelping kept sounding out. It didn't take long to realize what was happening. _Melvin._

Sure enough, another figure had joined Timmy on the walltop. How did these kids keep getting up there without her noticing? With an irritated grimace, she started to concentrate her power to aid in the fight- only to realize it was nearly over. Just like that, the animals were starting to disperse, most running in confusion and baying loudly.

Had it really ended that quickly?

She made her way to the others as fast as she could, and before long, she was standing on the rampart. Casting a glance at the young woman before her, she raised an eyebrow. "Huh. Just like old times."

Melvin watched her with an amused smirk. "Pretty much," she said cheerfully. "You, me, and Timmy, all together again." A muttered, but still emphatic '_It's TIM'_ from the boy in question made her chuckle. "Sure about that? I could always go back to the other nickname."

The reference went over Raven's head, but Timmy visibly shuddered, glaring daggers at the girl. Melvin just laughed, and Raven caught a glimpse of the girl from years ago, leading children by the hand and watching the world around her with wonder and excitement. Even now, her eyes twinkled with barely-contained mischief.

Just teasing. Having fun. And Timmy was off to the side, resenting the attention, and they seemed a perfectly dysfunctional pair, just like- like the Titans themselves.

"Not bad, huh?" She snapped out of her thoughts to see Melvin, arms crossed in front of her. "What'd you think?"

"That was, um-" Raven searched her memory for the name. "Bobby?"

"Yeah. I've been trying to focus the imagination aspect, making him faster." She shrugged. "He's already plenty strong, so I'm not worried about that."

"Wow." Trying her best to retain all the information, she frowned. "What about Teether?"

"Oh, didn't you hear? He turned evil and joined a group of supervillains back in America." She waved her hand vaguely. "Then he had, like, this crisis of conscience or something. I'm pretty sure he went on a soul-searching journey and swore off using his powers and stuff."

Raven blinked. "What?"

"Nah, I'm just kidding. He's down there." She followed Melvin's pointing hand, and saw a young boy talking with a few of the other monks at the base of the staircase. After a moment, he looked up at them and grinned, and Raven was once again seized by the odd sensation of... she still couldn't quite pin it down. But there wasn't time to worry about it, because Melvin turned back to her. "So! Did you only come to take care of the fight?"

For a moment, she looked between the three of them, with Teether still making his way up the steps. "No. I was hoping to check on the place, and see how you were doing." Frowning slightly, she looked back to Melvin. "You're going to have to decide what you'll do, soon. Any ideas?"

"I guess... I'm not sure." Melvin was quiet as she answered, occasionally looking up at nothing in particular. "I've thought about it, but I think right now- we're going to stay."

"Hm." Raven took a moment to consider her next words. "You can't forever."

Melvin grinned again. "I know. But this time, it's going to be _our_ decision where we go." She didn't say it with any malice- in fact, she immediately switched subjects. "Any leads on who was behind the attack?"

"Not yet. We're looking for any villains who've tried to brainwash animals in the past."

"Same," Melvin said easily. "No luck yet, though. But we'll see." She looked back to the stairs. "I think someone's glad to see you."

The kid bounded up the last steps, stars in his eyes as he shook Raven's hand. "I'm Tee!" he exclaimed eagerly. "You're Raven, right? I heard lots about you!" He paused for a second. "Whoa, your hair's so cool! How come it looks that way?" Before she could think of a response, his attention was already diverted. "Oh! Hey, I have to tell you about this place!"

Raven suddenly found herself being dragged down the stairs and into the courtyard, in the throes of a serious explanation of the monastery's history and idealogy, which Teether apparently thought were absolutely riveting. Once more, the feeling hit her, and this time it was easier to discern what it was, or part of it: she was seeing the kids grow up. They'd taken it upon themselves to develop their powers, protect the people around them, learn strategy and planning, and even treat each other the way she'd seen her own teammates do. They'd been her charges once, but now they were carving their own paths. Superheroes who used to need protecting. Just strange.

She caught bits of the conversation behind her, between Timmy and Melvin.

"Thanks for not mentioning the name."

"No problem, crybaby."

"I didn't cry _that _much."

"Oh, come on. You practically had your own language. I started recognizing different pitches."

It wasn't a wholly positive feeling. There was still a peculiar sense of loss. But the more Raven listened to them, and the more she saw them, the more she was sure that they were ready to make their own ways in life. They'd had a halfway decent role model, after all.

[]

[]

[]

(Scrapped idea: I wanted to do a backstory SO BAD. But I couldn't think of a single idea that worked. I had maybe six or seven hundred words down, with a couple of random scenes culminating in the reveal that the three kids are actually aliens, but it was really stupid and unfunny. Plus, nothing happened at all: there was a conversation in a house, then another in a car. I failed hard at coming up with an interesting history for these guys. So I figured I'd flip the script and jump into the future instead.

Seriously, I worked on that backstory thing off-and-on up until New Year's. Then I scrapped the whole thing in a fit of frustration. I am not a Writing Role Model, guys. LEARN FROM MY MISTAKES.)

[]

You guys remember the lead-up to Frozen? With those trailers that didn't show anything except the snowman and the reindeer? It really, REALLY seemed like the snowman was gonna be one of the most annoying, insufferable characters ever- and then the actual movie rolled around, and he ended up being pretty okay. Yeah?

Let's talk about the kids.

Good Lord, show, you dodged a bullet on this one. These three children were THIS CLOSE to being horrifically obnoxious- and maybe they still were, for some people. I don't know. But I actually thought they were pretty clever.

Yeah, they're loud and they cry and say things that don't make sense- but they do it in a way that echoes real kids. I've DEFINITELY had kids trying angrily to ask something you can't understand, or trying to eat things that aren't food. Same with imaginary friends dominating every part of a conversation. _Everyone's_ dealt with kids like that. And holy crap, the kid just biting everything? That's so true to real life it hurts.

For example, there's a scene in which the littlest kid is refusing all food, then tries to eat a boot. The middle kid starts crying out of nowhere, babbling 'see my blankie!' over and over, and Raven has no idea what's wrong. Then the younger one starts crying too. The sense of 'confusing stress nightmare' is _perfect_, because Raven feels the same way as the audience.

Also, and this is important: the kids being annoying and awful is TREATED as annoying and awful. There's nothing worse than a movie or show that showcases kids being brats, and tries to pretend they're being cute or adorable. But when it's honest, like this- taking the time to show Raven's reactions, and the genuinely exhausting nonsense these kids put her through- it becomes a lot more bearable, I think.

(The imaginary friend thing is pretty interesting. At first, it seemed that Bobby was just that: purely imaginary. But then the things actually started happening, and Raven told Melvin that _her powers_ were causing the events, and she just didn't know it. That's a pretty great idea, I think, but... then Bobby was real the whole time? And just invisible. So does Melvin actually have powers? Can she just imagine other things into existence? That would be terrifyingly powerful. I threw some ideas around in the story up there, but I honestly don't know how her deal works.)

The last thing- the absolute last thing- I expected from this episode was to see Monsieur Mallah. For real, I was astounded when he showed up. I mean, this one's kind of got one foot on each line of the serious/silly divide, right? Having a major Brotherhood villain alongside the tribulations of early childcare was... weird, to say the least.

Last thing- it looks like the Titans are giving their communicators away, one by one. Is that what's happening? Geez, I don't remember who gave them away and who didn't. Let's see- Wildebeest lost his, right? And Hotspot got captured, but then Robin gave the communicator to Rouge in disguise. Then somebody gave one to Kole, I think. And did they ever give one to the Doom Patrol? They've gotta be running out of these things.

[]

**Oh, Those Rascally Jokes**: "Robin's communicator! Can I help you?" "...Beast Boy, put Robin on."

-The opening is wonderfully surreal, like some kind of Wes Anderson film. First shot: Raven, standing in the middle of nowhere, annoyed at Beast Boy's nonsense. That's a good opening.

-Beast Boy, on Robin's com, just kinda standing around. Robin runs past in the background, dodging lasers from a giant robot. "...Um, he's kinda in the middle of something."

-"Raven told me to tell you she doesn't babysit! ...Robin says you have to." Man, every line from Beast Boy has had perfect delivery so far.

-Timmy bursts into tears because no one is holding his hand. That is TOO FREAKING ACCURATE.

-The tiny one is randomly chewing the underside of a table. Again, accurate.

-"Bobby couldn't fit in our car!" The camera actually pans over and up, then waits a few seconds, like it's focusing on a new character.

-We hear that Timmy has to pee, then cut to a giant waterfall. Classy, show.

-Raven absolutely curbstomps Mallah at one point. She throws pieces of a ski lift at him, punches him with a giant fist... I don't think he lands a single hit.

-Just a reminder that the kid who bites things is literally named 'Teether'.

-"Raven calling anyone. Anyone OTHER than Beast Boy."

-Child is crying. "So! Wanna know why the cookie went to the doctor? He felt crummy!" Child cries louder.

-They ask for a bedtime story. Raven recounts the end of Season 4. Their expressions of pure horror are fantastic.

-Whenever he's in terrible danger, the tiny one just starts laughing. Kid's a bit of an adrenaline junkie already.

-The defining trait of this child is that he bites things. Then his powers are finally seen, and the big reveal... is that he can _spit_ things, too. That's hilarious.

-Remember in the Avengers when the Hulk did that rag-doll thing where he threw Loki around without letting go? WELL, BOBBY THE GIANT IMAGINARY TEDDY BEAR DID IT FIRST, SUCKERS.

[]

Next up: '**Lightspeed**'.

Sorry for the long delays, people. I've been really struggling to come up with ideas and motivate myself to get writing done, so aside from a few short chapters in random other stories, I haven't accomplished much. Thanks for bearing with me.

Opinions have been UNANIMOUS on the how-to-end-it question, so here's what we're gonna do:

-Finish the season, including the finale

-short respite from the emotionally-heavy stuff with the 'lost episode' (at least, I'm told it's less serious)

-Season 5 Recap

**-'When There's Trouble' Big Finish: MOVIE MOVIE MOVIE**

It'll be in that order. I have to admit, I'm really looking forward to this! Even though it'll mean the end of a giant project that's taken me almost two years and led me to meet all you cool people and discover a hilarious and exciting and touching show...

...

I'm not crying. You're crying. Shut up.

Once again, big thanks to you guys for leaving reviews- particularly if I can't get send you a PM thank-you.

(Also, I have been challenged to keep track of exactly how many Titans there are/will be. I am afraid this will be more difficult than it sounds.)

Later, dorks!


	63. Lightspeed

Season 5, Episode 8

**Who Needs Enemies  
**

[]

Jinx peered over the edge of the rooftop. On the streets below, midnight traffic manifested itself in only a few random cars every minute or so- a mostly empty avenue between the tall buildings on either side.

Wouldn't be long now.

"Ugh. Why are we doin' this again?" A whining, petulant voice sounded out, and Jinx glared down at the communicator in her hand before switching her gaze up and across the way. A dim silhouette stood on the warehouse roof directly opposite from her, and though she couldn't see him, she had no doubt he was picking his nose or fiddling with his machines instead of concentrating.

She sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "See-More. Mission intel. Go."

A crackle of static jumped out before another, more cheerful voice was heard. "Whatever you say, Black Cat. Or... maybe Pink Cat? Ooh, how 'bout just 'Cat'. I like it. It's-"

"Mission. Intel." Jinx barely kept from yelling the instructions, instead letting the words out in an angry hiss.

"Right, right," he stammered. "Uh, the armored car with the cash an' its convoy are barrelin' through here pretty soon, an' we know this is the best spot for anyone lookin' to get the jump on it."

"Oh. So we're robbing the car?" Gizmo piped up. "Sweet! Those snotlickers won't know what hit 'em!"

Taking a deep breath, Jinx very deliberately did not slam her head against the concrete. "No," she said with exaggerated patience. "As I've told you _five times_ already, we're here to catch those two pretenders who keep cutting in on our turf. It's time to get rid of the competition."

"Car's the bait," See-More cackled. "An' we're the trap snappin' shut with a big ol' CLANG!"

A rumbling question came next. "You absolutely sure they'll be here?"

Jinx smiled. A third shadow was waiting not far from Gizmo, staring down over the area with intensity- at least _someone_ was taking this seriously, and asking the right questions. See-More jumped in before she could say anything. "Relax, big dog! I've been scopin' this out for _days_, you know? It's all good."

Gizmo grumbled another objection, and See-More probably made some jab or other, but Jinx stopped listening after a while. She was getting pretty sick of the way the H.I.V.E. didn't seem to act like a focused team at all, let alone a group of highly-trained supervillains. Honestly, how was she supposed to control this team when its individual members were... well, acting like Gizmo? _Being_ Gizmo?

She knew the answer, of course. She had to do something big- a complete elimination of the competition. A coup so immediate, so dramatic, that it would bolster their reputation without question. Might even convince the others to get their act together.

Another possibility had been rattling around in her mind, but for now, she wasn't taking it too seriously.

"Here it comes!"

When See-More's noticeably more excited voice came through, Jinx snapped to attention, scanning the street below- sure enough, bright headlights were growing brighter a few blocks away. She crouched lower, concealing herself behind the rim of the rooftop's edge. She could only hope Gizmo and Mammoth were doing the same.

"Get ready," she said quietly over the communicator. A grunt of affirmation from Mammoth, a probably-rolling-his-eyes scoff from Gizmo, and a muffled 'Aw, yeah' from See-More were the only sounds at all before the hum of the engines got closer. Any minute now, the other would-be robbers would make their move a few blocks ahead of the H.I.V.E., and they'd spring out, catching them right... in their... trap...

She listened for the first sounds of an attack. Nothing.

Something was wrong. Jinx risked a glance over the edge again- not only was the convoy of black cars _not_ being robbed, it wasn't even slowing down. The armored car zipped right past the 'sweet spot' See-More had been so sure of, and only seconds remained before the vehicles would pass_ their _position as well.

Bad. Very bad. She almost fell into a moment of panic- Gizmo was shrilly demanding to know what they were gonna do, and See-More only offered confused stutters about what _should have _happened. The plan had completely fallen apart. They'd been wrong.

For a second, she considered falling back and writing off the entire mission.

...No. No, they were already here, and she wasn't going to just give up. Leading a crew like this, she'd _have_ to learn how to improvise. The worry and panic were still clawing at her thoughts, but she stood up quickly, throwing her hands down against the concrete ledge. "New plan," she said in a rush. "Take the car. Go!"

A beat of confused silence, then-

"Aw, yeah," See-More crowed. "It's a good ol'-fashioned heist, _son!_"

Like the _crack_ of a gunshot starting a race, the words seemed to galvanize the team into action. Mammoth took a flying leap off the warehouse roof, dramatically appearing in the golden light of streetlamps before slamming down onto the roof of the lead car with a shuddering crash. At the same time, Gizmo scampered down the wall with his spider-leg-inspired gadgets, the thin metal appendages giving him the range he needed to quickly vault from the building's surface directly onto another of the convoy's vanguard.

For her part, Jinx swung herself over the edge, then caught a railing of the fire escape below her and used the momentum of the swing to launch herself into the street, where the cars were-

Already stopped.

She didn't pause, keeping up a sprint as she fired hexes at every vehicle in her line of sight. Tires blew out, windshields became opaque blinders of cracked glass, and even an engine or two started to overheat, but still, there was something wrong. Every car, including the giant armored vehicle in the center, had stopped at exactly the same moment- now, though, they were doing their best to spread out and surround Mammoth and Gizmo. The H.I.V.E. members kept working, Mammoth wreaking havoc with the one car's engine while Gizmo was doing something similar with a few sparking, crackling devices under the hood of the other car.

But from Jinx's perspective, it was clear that they weren't causing the chaos and confusion they'd hoped for. The rest of the convoy wasn't panicking- no one was streaming out of the vehicles to see what was wrong. Instead, they'd instantly regrouped, even with the damage, and were now in a perfect circle around her teammates.

How was that _possible?_ Even if every driver had communication devices, they were acting far too quickly.

Wait.

The engines revved, all at once, and Jinx suddenly realized what was happening.

"AAAH! GET AWAY, GET AWAY!" Gizmo's sharp yell cut through the air, and both he and Mammoth were scrambling away from the convoy as quickly as they could. Immediately, the non-destroyed vehicles, including the armored car, swerved and began to drive in the opposite direction, effectively faking them out. Just like that, the procession was once again slipping out of their reach.

Jinx cursed in more ways than one. A spell flew forward, narrowly missing its target.

"Aah, it's not worth it," Mammoth grumbled. He was panting heavily after the escape, hand against a building's wall as he regained his breath. "Let's just-"

"We're stopping that car," Jinx said flatly. An indignant response from Gizmo was cut off when she fixed him with a dark glare. "We're _not_ giving up."

"Look, I'm real sorry." See-More's voice was emanating from the comm again. "I thought the intel was good, but I messed up, alright? But we don't got the jump on 'em, we don't got the surprise, and we can't catch 'em drivin' that fast! We're finished."

Jinx snapped. "_You'll_ be finished if you don't listen to me right now," she seethed, and she directed her attention to both Gizmo and Mammoth, not just See-More. "The original plan's back on. The car. Now."

A flicker of doubt, a beat of hesitation in their faces- it infuriated her. She'd finally, finally gotten them to _try_ to care about the mission, but they were giving up at the first sign of trouble? Absolutely not. Especially not with the thrill of desperation and excitement that she'd felt upon realizing exactly who was driving those cars. Eyes flashing, she stomped toward Mammoth. "Arrow. Hurry."

He actually stepped back a bit, probably stunned by the determination in her voice, but quickly recognized the code. "Right," he grunted, before grabbing her shoulders and lifting her above his head. One hand grabbing her ankles, he planted the other in the small of her back.

Then, pulling back, he threw.

His strength propelled Jinx high over the street, making up the lost ground in only a few seconds. Soon, she was directly over the convoy- she shook off the dizziness from the rapid movement and took careful aim. A single well-directed hex was all she needed, and suddenly a carelessly tossed piece of scrap metal was in perfect position to pop one of the front tires of the armored car itself.

The entire group ground to a halt. Jinx landed lightly on the street in front of them, no longer concerned about the vehicles speeding away since their prize was incapacitated. Once she darted between some of the stopped cars, she approached the armored car and snapped her fingers to cause the lock to malfunction.

Throwing the driver's side door open, she smirked up at the reddening face of Billy Numerous.

"Good try," she said with a condescending lilt in her voice. "Stealing all of them, making the getaway, then making it look like they were being transported without any trouble. Really, I'm impressed. But the H.I.V.E.'s taking over this operation now, so if you don't mind, _get out of our territory._"

The criminal scoffed, leaning down. "You kiddin', Little Miss Muffet? Ain't nobody owns this here street."

Jinx didn't flinch. "No. We own Jump. And if you know what's good for you, you'll leave the money, take the rest of these cars, and leave."

A lazy grin was back in place, and he sighed. "Aw, shucks. Guess I better split, huh?"

She blinked, and suddenly there was _another_ Billy in the space, shoving her out of the car completely- Jinx hit the road's surface with a yelp, barely rolling to the side in time to avoid another form dropping in from above. Scrambling to her feet, she sprang back and out of the range of a wildly swinging punch from... a fourth Billy? She shook her head and looked again.

Five. Five clones running towards her, and that was just from the Billy that had been driving the armored car. She glanced to the side for a second, and- and there were dozens now, pouring from each vehicle and immediately creating more copies, all laughing and whooping and careening in her direction. She'd even gone through the convoy to reach the car in the center, so of course she was completely surrounded now, and she'd messed up and she should have thought ahead and what had she been _thinking_, she couldn't pull off an operation like this-

She only had seconds before they reached her, but she used that precious time to think. She couldn't afford to panic now. Billy wouldn't try escaping anymore, not now that there was no way to get the money away, so she could count on an all-out attack. And there were ways to trip up attacks like that. Tricks, misdirection, outside elements. Cheating. Bad luck.

On a snap decision, she hexed a fire hydrant on the sidewalk nearest her. A torrent of water exploded out and up, knocking back some of her enemies while startling and disorienting others. But it wasn't enough- even as she started running towards Billy, she fired off more spells, and soon for every Billy that was slipping in the puddles and streams on the blacktop, another was getting the water in his eyes or finding himself unable to match her movements quickly enough. Jinx reached the first target, sweeping his legs out from underneath him and rearing back up to punch another in the face. A quick spell caused another to slip and crash into the Billy next to him.

The confusion of the dark water's spray, combined with her quick fighting and rapid-fire curses, was enough to fend them off for a moment. Soon, though, they were closing in again, and Jinx gritted her teeth. She'd stalled for a short while, but it clearly hadn't been enough; she prepared another hex, then paused.

A shadow blotted out one of the streetlights. Jinx smiled.

Mammoth crashed to the pavement, roaring and sweeping Billy away like bowling pins. The yell of rage enough was enough to make some of the clones freeze in their tracks. Others piled on top of him, growling and punching and clinging to whatever part of the giant they could- soon, though, several of Billy screeched and dropped to the ground, bolts of electricity racing over their skin.

Gizmo poked out from behind one of the cars, grinning and holding a remote. "Heh. Suckers."

Two metal armbands gleamed on Mammoth's biceps, and charged pylons crackled and hissed whenever Billy came in contact. Soon, Mammoth was free to tear through the crowd again, scattering the criminals before him and knocking them away. The spider-legs unfolded on Gizmo's backpack again, and he caught some of them running for the edges, knocking them down with mechanical blows, while Jinx focused on directing Billy into Mammoth's path by hexing them into spinning the wrong direction or getting tripped up by each other.

Almost all the copies had been lain low one way or another, and Jinx was about to send another Billy flying when he suddenly vanished. She paused, turning to look behind her, only to see that the same thing had happened to every enemy- except one. Billy was breathing hard, eyes darting between the three H.I.V.E. members, as if preparing to make a run for it.

He suddenly shot a foot forward, but immediately crashed to the pavement. She had to laugh- apparently combining a bunch of tired clones didn't give him the combined energy he'd been hoping for. Instead, it seemed to make him exponentially more exhausted.

"Gizmo," she called. "Wrap him up." Crossing over to where the armored car still stalled, she jerked her head forward while looking at Mammoth. He nodded, then cracked his knuckles and grabbed the locked latch at the base of the rear door. While Gizmo activated a length of metallic wire that instantly trapped Billy like a straightjacket, Mammoth heaved on the surface until a horrific _crack _split the door completely. With a satisfied chuckle, he threw open the back of the vehicle.

Jinx froze. There was... nothing. An empty compartment was framed by reflective walls, and she blinked at her own reflection for a moment.

"Uh, tha's... tha's right!" She didn't even turn around as Billy started blustering. "I knew you was comin', so I- I, uh, I hid it all! Someplace you'll never-"

"No, you didn't," Jinx said absently. Still staring into the empty cargo hold, she frowned. A possibility was making itself known, but she didn't have any proof.

"Yo, Jinx?" See-More asked through the comm. "I didn't see anyone steal the goods, but I'll see what I can find. Couldn'a gone too far, right?"

She felt Mammoth's questioning eyes on her, as if he was wondering how she'd respond to this. But this time, she wasn't worried- she knew exactly what she was going to do. The original plan was a good one. And the _real_ original plan was one the others didn't even know about. "The money doesn't matter," she said into the mic. "I'll take care of it. Meet us back at the base."

Before Gizmo or Mammoth could object, she turned on her heel and glared down at Billy, still immobilized in the wire. "And as for you..."

[]

"I want you to join our team."

The statement echoed off the walls of the computer room, and for a second, it was the only sound in the shocked silence. Billy Numerous was completely slack-jawed, as if he literally hadn't understood.

Jinx raised her eyebrows. "Well?"

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?" The shriek could have broken glass, and she winced in pain as Gizmo jumped between them while he ranted. "You're gonna do somethin' like that, after we went and busted our tails off trying to take this guy down? Get real!"

She pointedly looked over his head, staring at Billy. "Crime's not about the reward, for you. Right? You're in this because it's _fun_. Well, you can keep doing your own thing, always looking over your shoulder for the cops, or you can take a chance. Go crazy, rob the city blind, do whatever you want- but with a lot more firepower backing you up." She folded her arms. "What do you say?"

In front of her, Gizmo gaped. "But- but- but- but-"

"Gizmo." Mammoth was leaning against the wall near the monitors. Once the boy had momentarily quieted down, Mammoth looked Jinx's way and gave a small nod. She wasn't sure, but there seemed to be a lot in that expression- trust in her ability as a leader? Maybe. Or a temporary decision to go along with her plan, at least.

She switched her attention to Billy, and almost laughed at the dumbstruck look on his face. The discipline and rigor of building a team could come later, she figured. For now, it was enough to confront one of the biggest threats to the H.I.V.E.'s grip on the city, and convince him to strengthen their own power.

Then a dopey grin spread across his face, and she knew before he said anything that he was in.

"Come on!" Gizmo was back at it. Practically spitting, he yelled up at her, "Why are you even doing this? What's the point? We don't need losers like him! We-"

"You want to know why?"

Jinx said it quietly, but it stopped Gizmo in his tracks. She was almost shaking as she leaned down to his level. "Because I want to." She let the words hang there, and when no more came, Gizmo's face contorted in an expression of confusion. He nearly objected again, but each time, stopped and seemed to keep trying to understand.

She let him wonder. It'd be more trouble than it was worth to explain that she wanted to take them higher and higher, and finally get the recognition they deserved. _She _deserved. She was going to lead the H.I.V.E. and make them something great.

And everyone would see what she'd accomplished.

Still fired up, she turned and walked straight out of the base. If Gizmo was still angry, she didn't hear him yell anything- and as she exited the building, she wondered if they were finally starting to think of her as a leader. Probably not. Still, the time would come.

Finally, she stood in the darkness.

"I know you followed us," she said. "You're curious. You want to know what we're planning."

Nothing.

Jinx took a deep breath. She was putting together a team, and she was taking the best. There was no room for second-guessing. "Do you really want to know?"

He was there. The ghost, the shadow, the one she'd heard about. Silently watching her like he could snap her neck without a word. She forced herself not to look away.

"I don't know what you're looking for," she said, and it was hard to keep her voice from shaking, but she didn''t flinch, didn't show any sign that she was less than a leader. "But with our power, together, you have a better chance of getting it."

The eyes didn't move. He was waiting for her to say more. She didn't.

Jinx walked back into the base, and it wasn't until the others went pale with fright that she knew for certain he followed her. See-More was back, and broke off a conversation with the new guy to laugh nervously and whisper, "...Wicked."

Hm. Had a nice sound to it.

She clasped her hands behind her back, smiling again. Even as the wraith-like figure drifted towards the rest, and Mammoth was visibly trying not to shiver with fear and Billy desperately begged with Gizmo to get rid of the restraints so he could get 'as far away from the creepy bat-fella as I can, compadre', she couldn't help feeling a sense of accomplishment. And staring at the five people before her, she was struck by another idea.

They were odd, and varied, and unusual, and banded together for a greater purpose. Just like the Brotherhood.

Jinx didn't let the realization show on her face, but behind the smile, thoughts were flying. This was the start of something incredible. Something greater than anything she'd dreamed of, back at the Academy or working under Slade or even with Brother Blood.

Because this was _hers_. No one else's.

And she was going to do great things.

[]

[]

[]

**With Friends Like These  
**

[]

_A long time ago, near a picnic table under a tree in the park in the middle of the city, without disguises or suits or masks, he grinned and wondered what would happen if he said 'no'._

_Robin shrugged. "I'll find somebody else, probably."_

California is whole states away, so the trip takes a few minutes longer than he planned.

_They wouldn't be as good as him, though._

_"Heh. No." He stretched his arms behind his head and yawned up at the sky. "It's just a precaution, anyway. If something went wrong, and we couldn't be here to... you know. Take care of it." Glancing over the table, he paused. "I know this isn't really your style, but still."_

'Run' is kind of a strange word, when he thinks about it. For everything he loves about it, for everything that brings him joy in the wild wind and the way every part of him, mind and body and soul, is awake and free and living in time with every pounding step- there's something else, too. It can mean escape. Abandonment. Leaving it all behind, and giving up responsibility.

That's not what he's doing, though. There was never really any responsibility in the first place.

_Still. The word seemed to hold meaning, and he echoed it._

_"Well, yeah. I guess I'm calling in a favor."_

There wouldn't even _be_ a problem if the Titans East hadn't been so focused on their own sense of duty. They got so caught up in making a name for themselves when no one thought they could accomplish anything, they'd gone too far. The Jump assignment was temporary. Yeah, they needed to let the bad guys know there wasn't an entire West Coast city ripe for the villain-ing, but that strategy made it incredibly obvious there's no one there _now._ As soon as they headed back, news started to spread.

He only hopes that he can run faster than rumors.

_Call in? Since when were they the kind of friends to keep track of favors?_

_The hint of a smile. "So you don't mind? Great. 'Preciate it."_

Left, right, left, right. Air, in the sky and in his eyes and lungs. In, out.

_Too late, he realized he'd been caught in his words. Dork._

_"Freeloader," Robin retorted._

Once, Robin asked him what was so great about running. If he remembers right, he complained that 'you're stuck on the ground the whole time'.

He's never thought about it that way, even in the face of a friend who can scale buildings whenever he wants. Who says you need wings to fly?

_He preferred 'wanderer'. Or maybe 'vigilante'. Had a dangerous, mostly-illegal ring to it._

_"Hey, whatever helps you sleep at night." Robin stood, with one final smirk before he started off._

The suburbs on the edge of the city pass by, and he slows until he can be sure on which freeway heading into Jump he's currently breaking the speed limit. A glance up at a sign is enough to give him a sense of direction, and soon, he's zipping between cars in the early evening traffic.

_Well, that had been awfully quick._

_"Hm?" He glanced back over. "I guess. I'm not really comfortable being out of the suit for too long." A chuckle. "But if you miss the sound of my voice that much, you could always take the comm."_

It was tempting to head over here the instant he learned the TE crew had headed back to Steel City. Instead, he'd waited until news of an ongoing robbery hit the media. No point in showing up if you don't have a plan on what to do.

_That made five or six times he'd offered. The answer was still no._

_Robin shrugged again. "Figured I'd ask."_

Entire districts blur as he speeds through. He finds his destination immediately, but takes a second when still a block away to assess what's going on. Shadowy figures, wildly different shapes and sizes, waltzing out of the shadows at the museum's entrance, holding... urns? Jewelry?

He stops running. One of the robbers, she's-

She-

_He still wasn't leaving. Was he constipated or something?_

_"Classy." Robin rubbed the back of his neck. "Look, um... for real. I can count on you, if... if we need someone. Right?"_

His feet move while his thoughts are still trying to catch up. She looks different from the others, somehow- something in the way her eyes dart around, or the way she grins out at the looming semi-darkness of sputtering lampposts and neon billboards. Something.

Just for kicks, he pulls down the big guy's pants, and steals the rest of the artifacts right out of their hands. They're in a safe location where the police can pick them up before the criminals even have time to looks surprised, and- on a whim- he makes one more pass towards the group.

_"Right?"_

A rose ends up in her palm, and he's almost tempted to slow down and smile at her. He doesn't.

This could be interesting.

He keeps his distance as the crew makes their escape. He could probably make a scene out of it, try to get their whole operation arrested here and now, but he'd rather wait. Besides, something in his thoughts is giving him pause. Something about favors, and responsibility, and old friends. One place instead of an open road. Something about the pink-eyed girl who angrily throws away the flower in her hand.

...Yeah. This is gonna be fun.

[]

[]

[]

Guys, I don't think I've talked about how much I love the H.I.V.E. enough. I should probably talk about that some more.

Nah, just kidding. Everyone's probably getting a little tired of that, and it's not really all that funny to overreact so much, and I should just HOLY ANTAGONISTS BATMAN I LOVE THE H.I.V.E. SO MUCH AGH

Do you remember how this episode starts? Seriously, it's pretty amazing. The opening is Gizmo, Mission Impossible-ing his way through a bunch of lasers and touch-sensitive floors while dangling from the ceiling. I'll watch that any day of the week, man. I'll watch a whole _show_ about that. And it only gets better from there.

A few people said they thought I'd probably like this episode, and short answer: yeah, you were right. Long answer: _hot tamales in an electrical fire, everything is amazing and I love it forever. _The H.I.V.E., new guys included, are wonderful, and Kid Flash (NO clue he was gonna show up!) is fun, and the way the Brotherhood of Evil intersects with these guys is interesting, and most importantly, there are some _Really Important Moments_ that I think are gonna make a difference later on. So what I'm saying is, let's talk.

The idea of a H.I.V.E.-centric episode (even to the point where they hack into the theme song, which is freaking brilliant) is a risky one, I think. If these characters weren't likeable, it'd probably backfire completely. So it's a good thing they're so great. Gizmo's as manic and irritable as ever, Mammoth is still Mammoth, and Jinx... well, more on her in a bit. But I'm psyched that Billy's here now, too, and even though I know _literally nothing_ about Kid Wicked other than he gets pensive when staring at old Egyptian artifacts, he's still pretty intimidating. So we've got aces all across the board, and once Kid Flash shows up, it really throws everything into a new gear.

(Also, what happened to that other guy? I wanna say he had a shield? Fought with the H.I.V.E. back in the 'Mother Mae-Eye' fight, I think.)

Personally, I think it works because they're all so different. Billy Numerous is just wildly excited to go wreck things (at one point just screaming 'Yee-haw! Time for crime!'), and it's really fun whenever you find a villain who's more interested in having fun than taking over the world. But Jinx is the exact opposite- she desperately wants to be respected by the Brotherhood, which is an even MORE interesting motivation, and which develops and changes over the episode.

(Random stuff before the important stuff! Turns out the H.I.V.E. have a base that looks almost exactly like the Titans', with a giant video game station and a giant fridge and a row of computers and everything! See-More's actual eye can detach from his head, then grow horrifyingly large and float over the city while still connected to his head, in one of the more disturbing scenes I've ever watched on this show! Kid Wicked can teleport and reach through walls and _basically be Raven_ and at one point waltzes into the middle of the street and makes a truck flip over! See-More's a little annoying at first but he grew on me after a while! Billy Numerous can make himself into a giant maze of Billys! Jinx's hexing powers can also just slam into people like physical punches! Kid Flash can vibrate so fast that he burns! KID FLASH CAN VIBRATE SO FAST THAT HIS MOLECULES PHASE THROUGH WALLS! _Kid Flash can one-punch the ground and cause an explosion of concrete and dust!_)

Okay, I think I'm good.

Kid Flash is an unusual case. I don't know if I loved his voice, since he sounded much older than he looked, and I didn't find him terribly funny, but everything else about him is pretty fascinating. The idea that he wants to persuade Jinx to be a good guy is strange, because honestly, would the original Titans try to do that? I don't think they would, honestly. They were _very_ hesitant about Terra at all stages, and I think it'd be even tougher for them to reach out to someone who _started_ bad. So it's pretty unique to see him honestly and earnestly hoping that she'll change.

Of course, that doesn't stop him from tricking her (and Kid Wicked, too, and he even quips 'Thanks for the help!') into destroying part of her own base. Because Kid Flash, I've decided, is a total boss. He's not quite Cyborg- he's a little too devil-may-care and impish grin for that- but he's not quite Beast Boy, either. He's a completely new character that I had no idea I wanted to watch beat up bad guys and make jokes and randomly produce croissants from nowhere.

Now, Jinx... hoo boy. There's a lot going on here with Jinx. At first, I really did think she was seriously considering everything KF was saying in the first half of the episode... and then out of the blue, she hoodwinked him like crazy. She had the rest of the H.I.V.E. follow her to the secret meeting, because she _knew_ he'd show up, and they even heard him call them 'losers' and everything. The whole thing was an act that gave them time to surround and capture him. I'm really, really impressed. She's a quick thinkin' gal. Also mildly scary.

But even with her leadership smarts and combat skills, she's still so eager to get the Brotherhood's approval. It's kind of sad, honestly, because the second she calls Madame Rouge, you immediately get the sense that she _shouldn't_ be so obsessed with what they think of her. She's so awesome on her own, and it's really a shame that she's wrapped up in trying to impress the Brotherhood.

It was right about here that I realized I was really, REALLY rooting for Jinx. And the H.I.V.E. in general. Therefore, the bad guys. Huh.

(One more random note: Jinx's voice actress has a lot of untapped skill, I think. She seems... more main-character-ish than I expected. There's a lot of range there, with a bunch of different well-acted emotions. I dunno, I just thought it was cool.)

The ending of this episode is incredible. After KF escapes, Jinx decides to hunt him down herself, effectively guaranteeing she'll end up on Madame Rouge's bad side. I was so floored by how risky and dangerous to her own ambitions that was, I was completely _gobsmacked_ when the next scene actually had Rouge in disguise as Jinx. Never saw that coming.

So begins a ridiculously cool fight scene, where all Kid Flash's powers are on display, but it's still very clear that he's scared of Rouge. I mean, you really get the feeling that the Brotherhood are respected and feared in this universe, kind of like the way the Titans visibly paled when Trigon was first mentioned. We get Rouge's crazy stretch-attacks showcased in the fight with Hotspot, but with a wildly increased level of motion and complexity since Kid Flash is zipping around the whole freaking city like a mosquito, and at one point he just straight-up runs so fast that he starts on fire and burns her.

(Last sidenote, I promise: wouldn't it be interesting if KF actually got caught and sent back to the Brotherhood?)

Once that fight dies down, and we have the last big conversation with Jinx and Kid Flash, I figured the episode was mostly over. He has his semi-cheesy, still kinda sweet lines about 'you don't have to hurt people to feel good about yourself', and she's gonna realize he's right and let him go, and-

...Okay, actually she shot him with a taser. Well then.

And when Rouge shows up again, things get more interesting. Jinx says she used to want to be like her; Rouge responds, "Life is full of disappointments. You are one of them." SWEET BABY JESUS, THAT'S HARSH.

But Jink looks her straight in the eye while Rouge demands that she hand over Kid Flash, and she utters, "Go catch him yourself," before destroying the containment machine. I love this show. I _love this show so much, you guys._

And that's not even the ending! She stands up for herself and doesn't let Rouge boss her around, and I'm thinking now it _has_ to be over, but then Rouge says 'We'll be in touch', leaving _ that _a mystery, and See-More offers to go on another heist job, but Jinx turns it down and he looks _disappointed?_ And then Jinx sees the rose in a vase, KF vanishes, and she just... walks into the darkness, and I have NO IDEA what that's symbolic of, but there's a somber and uneasy and thoughtful tone to this whole ending and I absolutely don't know what it means but I really love it.

Hoo, man. This is one of the best endings I can think of. I am absolutely adoring the writing and animation and characters and everything else about this show.

[]

**Jokes:** The H.I.V.E. are surprisingly excited about old Egyptian artifacts. I mean, history's cool and all, but they're _really, really_ eager to steal ancient vases and stuff. No judging, I just didn't expect that. These are some classy hooligans.

-There are a bunch of references to the 'H.I.V.E. Five', but there are clearly six of them. Like, it's not an argument. This is bugging me.

-I know it's mentioned in the story, but I kind of love that the mysterious blur steals all the stuff back, leaves Jinx a rose... and pulls Mammoth's pants down.

-Billy gets in a fight with himself. It's kind of funny that he can have wildly different opinions, and again, _fight himself._

-I honestly thought the Jinx/Kid Flash thing was gonna be a subtle deal, with little hints here and there. And then Gizmo loudly sings, "Somebody has a _boy_-friend!" And Jinx knocks him out of his chair.

-Billy Numerous has absolutely amazing impressions of the Brain and Mallah.

-The mystery color-burst makes a tornado and uses it to drop Kid Wicked and See-More in the ocean. Awesome.

-Everyone else is targeting specific things for profit- some try to hit a convenience store, others the bank, stuff like that. And Billy Numerous decides to mess with a junior hockey game. He pulls a kid's pants over his head and steals a Zamboni and everything. It's glorious.

-All the Billys get thrown in the goal. The scoreboard counts them.

-Mammoth's candy bar gets stolen, and he yells, "Hey! I paid for that!" Genuinely didn't expect that.

-Jinx, furiously: "But when I'm playing in the big leagues and you're still robbing parking meters, don't ask me for any favors!" (...Billy, after a beat of silence: "Y'all wanna build a fort outta sofa cushions?" "YEAH!")

-"Run run run, as fast as you can! You can't catch me, uh- catch _you_\- um, I'm Billy Numerous!" He just bails on the line completely, and yells his own name. Nice.

-Mammoth grabs KF from the back, bear-hug style, trying to crush him, and Kid just goes "I didn't know you cared!"

-Jinx knocks KF out with a 'Caution: Wet Floor' sign.

-In the middle of a H.I.V.E. argument, Kid Flash somehow grabs food and comes back, still in his cage.

-KF point-blank asks why they're called 'Five' and suddenly 100% of my worry with this episode is resolved. And no one has even _thought _about it. See-More hesitantly says, "'Cause... it sounds... cooler?"

-With dramatic music playing, and the camera slowly zooming in on the two of them, Kid Flash tells Jinx: "There's something about you that's different. I think you can do better." Then, without changing the tone of his voice or serious expression at all: "...Can I get some mustard? This hot dog's a little dry."

-Billy makes a joke, and Billy responds, "Heh, good one, Billy." I'll never get tired of that.

-Jinx, angry at See-More, literally tosses everyone else aside. It's awesome.

-"Someone should put a bell on you!" Holy crap, KF just nailed Kid Wicked in a single sentence. That's perfect.

-While Gizmo is actively building a cage for Kid Flash, the man himself races past and builds a completely separate cage for Gizmo. He's trapped in like a half a second.

-Jinx wonders how to get KF to show up. "What do I have to do, rob a bank?" (From the shadows: "Aw, you'd do that for me? I'm touched.")

-Kid Flash tries to do his cool whirly-spinny-thing, but Rouge just bends around it. He clearly wasn't expecting that, and has two amazing faces: one is just shocked and confused, but the next one is kind of a skeptical frown, holding up a finger like 'Hold on, I'mma figure this out.'

-Wow, of the two young heroes who've gone toe-to-toe with Madame Rouge, both have found a way to burn her.

-Jinx proves she's the real one by hexing a pipe to make it explode, shooting water all over Kid Flash's face. Nice.

-Jinx tells See-More, "I knew I could count on you." He blushes, which looks pretty funny on the face of a guy with a giant eye-visor, and WHOA WAIT HOLD UP. Are they saying See-More likes Jinx? Are there THREE different characters who're attracted to the pink-haired chaos fairy? That can't end well.

[]

Thanks to A-LionGleek for the tip that KF and Robin used to be buds. That's pretty cool! All these superheroes having intersecting backstories and all. Makes things even more fun.

Next up: **'Revved Up**'. Only five regular episodes left!

Later, dorks!


	64. Revved Up

Season 5, Episode 9

**Yakety Yak  
**

[]

"What a drag, man."

Two boys sat on the curb, a ways away from the celebration. While other kids their age held up trophies and proudly chattered about the soapbox cars gathered in the parking lot, one of the boys sighed deeply. "I'll say. That race has me feelin' pretty low. We gotta wait a whole year to try again?"

"Righto." The other fiddled with a toothpick, trying to look cool while holding it in his teeth. "Can't let it rattle your cage too much, though."

"But I was on cloud nine, man! I was burnin' rubber on the last turn, an' I really got a kick out of it."

"Yeah. I thought you had it made in the shade."

"Me too!" He wrapped his hands over his knees, setting his chin down with a glum look. "Eh, it still bugs me. The whole thing's really Mickey Mouse."

Toothpick shrugged. "Don't be salty, bud. Let's hang out at the bash! We'll have a blast."

The boy looked over to the party, but scowled. "Ah, ice it. It'd probably be lumpy anyway."

"Ah, come on! Don't have a cow. If ya get frosted, you'll just end up hanging out back at your pad back in Nowheresville, ya dig it?"

He glared. "Cool it, alright? Lemme clue you in: my set of wheels's _unreal_ souped up. I shoulda creamed all these other screamers." Gesturing at the other derby cars, he tapped his forehead. "They don't got the jets ta blow me off. They ain't Madison Avenue, or nothin'. I'm the best racer outta all of 'em, or my handle ain't Dan Donny Danielson."

The boy with the toothpick rolled his eyes and shoved his shoulder. "Your rocket's not perfect, ya spaz. Quit actin' kooky, an' let's split."

"Shuddup, or I'll give ya a knuckle sandwich!" Dan pointed at the cars again. "I"ll tell ya the real large charge: One day, I'll be the most boss, chili, _far out_ racer anyone's ever seen. I'll wail past all these losers. It'll be Fat City, no sweat. An' that's the word from the bird."

"Alright, fine." Toothpick yawned. "Cool. You know what, that's so cool, it's subterranean. Gimme five." Dan didn't respond, but he swatted his hand anyway.

A honk sounded in the distance.

...

And then an unforeseen car careened down the street, streaking past the festivities and tearing into the parking lot.

Sunlight gleamed off the fender as the vehicle swerved. The tires screeched, and the chrome on the wheels was hard to look at in the afternoon haze- it shone off the sleek black surface of the hood, too, making the whole car reflect pinpoints of light. Even as the kids watched, it collided with the nearby derby cars and immediately crushed the majority.

Dan gaped.

When it finally slowed down in the wreckage, a man leaned out the window- overweight, with small eyes and a smug grin underneath a short grey cap. His goateed, blubbery jowls shook as he laughed. "Whats cookin', folks? Sorry, but the _Ding-Dong Daddy's_ the only racer in THIS town!"

"No! My wheels!"

The man looked over as Dan raced towards his car. "It's totaled!" the boy yelled. "You wrecked my ride!"

"Hey, beat it, ankle-biter!" The racer pointed towards Toothpick. "You an' your slodge too!"

"...What?"

"Slodge. Scooch. You're friends, right?"

"Oh. Yeah." Dan nodded. "We're tight. We're, uh, scooches."

Before he could do anything else, sirens started going off. Ding-Dong Daddy looked in the rearview mirror. "Uh-oh! It's the heat! The man! Better agitate the gravel! Time to go ape! Gotta floor it! Fire it up! Pop the clutch! Punch it! Goose it!" He finally took off again, but not before cackling behind him, "Put an egg in your shoe an' beat it, coppers!"

Dan blinked a few times as the car sped off, then turned to watch the squad of police vehicles give chase. Eventually, quiet settled over the parking lot.

Toothpick's mouth was hanging open for a moment, but he managed to eventually look back at his friend. "...That guy's bad news."

"Yeah. Bummer."

[]

[]

[]

**Case Closed  
**

[]

Beast Boy was curious, of course. He didn't exactly hide it- a good chunk of the race was spent filling Cyborg's ear with whatever theories he could come up with, even when his friend didn't reciprocate. Between 'deadly virus sample that could destroy the world' and 'secret collection of Batman prank videos', he hadn't come up with anything that really seemed probable.

Still, he wondered.

When Cyborg curtly told him that Robin was a secretive person, and he'd just have to accept it, it only made him more curious. They'd never gone all-out mission mode for something this mysterious, after all. Even the race, with its explosions and battles and villains of all sorts showing up, wasn't enough to distract from the intrigue; not only was he hiding something, but it was something big. Something important enough that half the weirdos in the city were chasing it.

So he'd been a little disappointed when they sauntered up to the finish line, only to discover that everyone was already gone except the other Titans. No climactic battle, no heroic gambit to grab the case. It was all over.

Then, Robin surprised him.

[]

Cyborg thought about it during the fighting. When the pit-stop rig was tearing his car apart, and those little monsters were trying to dismantle _him_, the thought flashed through more than once: what were the Titans really doing? Risking their lives (okay, maybe that was a little dramatic, but they were definitely risking the T-Car) to help Robin's personal vendetta, when he wouldn't even tell them what it was?

It was tough. It got tougher when the gremlins started going after his joints with wrenches and hammers.

Still, he trusted him. He meant what he'd said earlier- Robin kept secrets, sometimes, and they didn't have much of a choice but to put up with it. If their leader was ever gonna change his mind about that, he'd do it on his own terms. It was just... hard to swallow sometimes.

They'd butted heads before. Even about a similar issue, once or twice- he could think of a few secrets he wished Robin had let them in on earlier than he did. And that made it very, _very_ hard to simply grind his teeth and power forward, when the freaks were jumping on him and the road was twisting and Beast Boy was chattering and the race wasn't going well for _anybody_, and... he had to keep going. Because if he wanted to argue that Robin should trust them more, then he'd have to trust him in return.

Even if, he thought as he punched yet another demon off his windshield, following Robin right now felt really, really stupid.

[]

There was plenty of time to think on the bus. Starfire's declaration that Raven was just a henchman had diverted most of the attention away from her, so while the villains listened closely to her story, Raven didn't have to interject all that much.

Beast Boy and Cyborg should have been the ones to be here, she thought. Not her. They'd probably love this whole act. Making up escapades and trying to think of the worst villain-names possible. Going undercover as bad guys- they'd eat it up.

Well... maybe not Cyborg. That might hit a little close to home.

No, she was here instead. And she still had no idea why they were doing this. They hadn't even discussed it, really; once they'd been grounded, so to speak, she and Starfire had instantly agreed to keep pursuing the others, even if they didn't really know what was going on up ahead. And Robin hadn't tried to explain, or apologize. He just accepted their decision, like he expected it.

Looking back, she wasn't sure if he'd ever asked outright. 'Hey, will you all help me on an insane and ridiculous mission for a goal I'm literally not even going to tell you about?' If he'd phrased it like that, they probably would have demanded answers. So... why were they still helping, now that they knew it was personal? Now that he was refusing to tell them what was in that stupid case?

She sighed as the villains started growing suspicious of Starfire's tale. Just before the fight started, she considered: they _were_ still helping. Maybe that said more about the Titans than any briefcase, or secret, or single decision.

[]

"Sometimes, secrets shouldn't be shared. Even with your best friends."

She could see the decision in his eyes. "I used to think that," he said quietly. Then he looked down at the case. "Not anymore."

The question of trust had come up more than once. For all Robin's loyalty, for all his care in keeping them safe and doing everything in his power to lead them and take care of them... trust wasn't always a part of that list. At least, not with the secrets and information that came with his mask. So it was honestly startling when, after the end of it all, he was opening the case.

And Starfire suddenly realized that it didn't matter what was in it. He wasn't just opening a lock and lifting a lid. He was doing something incredibly difficult- maybe not for a lot of people, but for him. A question was finally being answered, because while she could honestly say there was nothing she wouldn't trust him with, there were times she wasn't wholly sure that he could say the same about them.

Maybe, she thought, he was answering another worry, too. Maybe he was putting to rest a doubt, a haunting memory that had been echoing for a long time, since a dark night back in Jump City when he'd looked at a grey-black suit and made the decision to lie to his friends. Maybe he was trying to fix a mistake.

They hadn't demanded that he tell them what was in it. That was important, she thought- when the other three crowded around to see the contents of the case, and when Robin raised his line of sight to catch her eyes, and when he smiled, she knew that there was something important about this. A choice that he had to make, and he had to do it like this. Here. Now. After a wild, exhausting day that had divided them and tested them, throwing them into bizarre scenarios without nearly enough information about what was happening.

Maybe it didn't matter exactly what Robin was doing. It might be an apology, or an olive branch, or a way to face down demons of the past. Whatever it was, he'd done it.

She'd never felt more proud.

[]

[]

[]

(Scrapped idea: an **actual backstory** for this guy. Thought this'd be more fun. Also, something for the **pit-stop demons**, because seriously, how bizarre were those things? And I briefly considered trying to come up with a **fake backstory for Raven and Starfire's supervillain personas**. I actually still think that one could be funny.)

[]

WOW. You guys, I'm... wow. This is such a good one. _So good._ Do I say that too much? I probably say that too much. But I really, really loved this episode. It's a blast. Just... I don't really know what to say. There's so much that's genuinely funny.

This villain is something else.

Okay, first scene: a guy with a MONSTER nose is driving a car (that's also a fully-functioning record-processing jukebox, by the way, _I want one_) along some random desert highway. The Titans are just kinda standing in the middle of the road, which makes me wonder how long they were waiting there, and the guy says-

...Sorry. Sorry, even just writing this, I need to take a minute to get ready. Hoo. Okay. Okay. Deep breaths. Here we go.

...

"What's buzzin', cousins? Chill out, cool cat! The Ding-Dong Daddy ain't cruisin' for a bruisin'!"

It's painful. It's the dorkiest, most ridiculous dialogue in the world, and it's absolutely wonderful.

That's how you introduce a bad guy, right there. He immediately calls Raven and Starfire 'swingers' (which, unless I have my 50's slang mixed up, is pretty freaking insulting, right?) and demands that the Titans race him for the stolen briefcase they're trying to get back. They agree, and from there, it's pretty much Mad Max all the way to the end of the episode.

You see why I'm a fan of this guy? I've probably already talked about how I have a soft spot for villains who are more interested in showing off and having fun than actually being evil- like Billy Numerous, Mumbo Jumbo, and Control Freak. Ding-Dong Daddy is probably at the top of that particular list, because he just wants to race. He just wants to mess with everybody. _He just wants to make terrible jokes._

And the race itself is buckets of fun. Part of it's pretty much a video game, with Cyborg shooting zany weapons at the guy in front of him, trying not to run off the track, and getting all worked up alongside wacky music- all staples of Mario Kart, as far as I'm concerned. At one point, DDD introduces a 'pit stop on wheels', some kind of giant mobile thing with a hundred tiny technicolor demons who fix his car without stopping, and it's exactly as insane as it sounds. And to top it off, Cyborg is an incredible stunt driver; he has to lose the pit stop guys, reverse and shift gears _constantly_ to get out of scrapes, go offroad and jump ramps in the canyon... it's awesome.

There's a sideplot where Starfire and Raven have to find their own way to the finish, since they tried to fly and got shot down by 'the rules' or something. So they find a school bus (with a rocket on tofull of wannabe villains, go in disguise, and spend like half the episode trying to convince them that they're actually bad guys. Starfire is not particularly good at this, which is pretty funny already, and then they just bail on the whole thing and beat them all up and steal their bus. Man, even beyond the individual jokes, this episode just has _funny things happening. _

Also, I pretty much flied out when Red X showed up. That was fun. And then again with Gizmo. And Johnny Rancid. And Mad Mod. And Doctor Light, and the Puppet King, and Mumbo Jumbo, and even Kitty and that spider-guy. None of them have lines, so it's pretty obvious their voice actors weren't actually there, BUT STILL. Lots o' baddies.

Actually, Red X and Gizmo get to say quite a bit. X in particular adds in a delightful action sequence near the end, where he and Robin have a giant acrobatic ninja fight on two moving motorcycles. And DDD is just looking back and watching them, making sarcastic comments the whole time.

And the ending itself is so, _so _satisfying to watch. Cyborg single-handedly demolishes every part of that stupid pit stop and its demon crew (who he calls 'grease-weasels', and that's just the best name I've ever heard). Robin saves X from an explosion on a crazy ice track (which feels like Mario Kart again), so he returns the favor by... destroying Rancid's motorcycle, breaks into Kitty's car and rips through the floor, adhesive-sticks Mod and Control Freak's vehicles together, then takes out Mumbo, and the Puppet King, and Doctor Light, and even Gizmo. Basically everyone else. Red X decides he has a debt to pay, so he just wrecks. That's a cool scene. Then he sees Raven and Starfire in the bus, and utters, "Tell Robin we're even. For now." This guy's too classy.

Now, about the case. After Robin Grand-Theft-Auto's Ding-Dong right out of his own car to win (which, by the way, is _one of the coolest parts of the whole episode_), we get an interesting ending. He gets the case back, and the Titans suggest that he doesn't actually have to show them what's inside. Then, Robin... does. He makes the decision, completely on his own, to let them in on the secret. That's really nice to see, I think. It threw me off at first, because I thought they were actually setting up a major thing in the next episode- like, somehow, the contents of the case had convinced Robin that he couldn't keep secrets anymore, and it was going to be a major revelation.

I was only a little bit majorly disappointed to learn that there is no such revelation.

But it's still interesting, yeah? The trusting thing, I mean. Cyborg even has a few lines where it sounds like he's a little resentful of the way Robin keeps stuff from them. So this ending is a really cool moment for Robin's character, too.

I can't resist, guys. Have to have it in here; it's just too obvious not to. And we haven't had one in a while, so: **THEORY TIME. What's in the briefcase, everybody? **I've already heard one idea, but what do you think?

[]

**Good Golly Gosh Look At All These Jokes**: Beast Boy: "Dude! This map makes no sense!" (Cyborg: "That's because you're holdin' it upside-down.") "...Right. Pssht. I knew that."

-Robin actually has to say the name 'Ding-Dong Daddy', out loud. He does it without a trace of humor. It's glorious.

-And now Raven said it. Geez, this is probably the silliest-sounding name in the whole show, and no one's blinking.

-Raven, staring at a truck full of chickens. "...It just keeps getting better and better."

-"Sorry, kids. Daddy's just too smooth!" EVERYTHING HE SAYS IS TERRIBLE AND WONDERFUL.

-Okay, seriously, Raven had several chickens crawling all over her. Which looks hilarious, by the way. That's an aesthetic, right there: Raven in the back of a pickup truck covered in chickens and just _done with everything_. One lays an egg on her head, so in frustration, she crushes it with magic. She now has a broken egg on her head. Success

-"We need to find something faster." It's real, serious, legit dialogue, but she STILL HAS EGG ON HER HEAD. And it's her fault. I can't stress this enough.

-Beast Boy, warning Robin about the guy following him: "Breaker, breaker, one-niner, this is Green Machine and Chrome Dome callin' Rubber Duck, comin' atcha on the flip-flop! Bear-bait just dusted our britches goin' full throttle in the monster lane, come on back-" And then Cyborg grabs the comm away from him in rage.

-When Gizmo shows up, Starfire gasps, "We _know_ him!"

-Oh geez, he has a giant rolling tire with a G-shaped pod inside it. That's the dorkiest thing I've ever imagined.

-"We require the use of your vehicle to race the Ding-Dong Daddy who has stolen Robin's most secret possession and now offers it to the winner!"

-Gizmo splats them with mud and races off- "Thanks for the tip, suckers!" Starfire wonders if maybe she explained too much, and Raven's head flares like a volcano.

-One of the best running jokes in this one is Beast Boy's never-ending struggle in trying to drive the T-Car. Cyborg never lets him.

-Cyborg just flew the car through a billboard, everybody.

-There's a single perfect image, where Beast Boy and Cyborg are in the car with a torn-off roof and no engine cover. Beast Boy's got sunglasses on, leaning back with his legs crossed on the dash, smug grin and all... and Cyborg is literally weeping for his baby.

-"Well, razz my berries." I can't decide if I want this guy to shut up, or never stop talking, because everything he says is amazing and groan-worthy at the same time.

-Starfire, trying to get in with the bad guys: "Excuse me, friends! I have subdued a Teen Titan!" Raven: "...Oh, no. I have been captured."

-"I... am... uh, the Doctor Amazing Mum-Gon! ...The Terrible! And this is my henchman... uh, Henchy!"

-The man in the duck suit looks down at his clipboard and tells them they're not on the list.

-"This is because... we are new here! Yes! We have come from.. East-Town... to do evil here! As, we are evil!"

-"And then, after I took control of the city, I required my likeness to be carved from solid cheese! In every home!" Starfire is having too much fun with this. Also, the other villains are surprisingly supportive of that idea.

-"Look at me, I'm green! ...I mean, greener than usual-green!"

-"Beast Boy... take the wheel!" "DUDE, ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" And then he literally rips off the wheel and hands it to him. "Oh..."

-The T-Car is, at this point, just Cyborg, standing on a platform of metal with two wheels on it, being pulled by B as a horse.

-"Code of the road. There's no prize for second place... Daddy-o." He's repeating what he said, so it's a burn, but why does EVERYTHING IN THIS EPISODE SOUND SO COOL AND SO LAME AT THE SAME TIME?

-Reversal. Now B's crying over the destroyed car, and Cyborg's just shrugging, like 'Whatever, we'll build a new one!'

[]

Thanks to **A-LionGleek** for the second story prompt! I apologize for pairing it with literally the stupidest story I've ever written. I wanted a bait-and-switch fake backstory for DDD, and then I looked up a list of 50's slang and started filling it with as much nonsense as I could. I'd be SHOCKED if some or most of those terms aren't completely made-up and incorrect, but hey, it was still fun to write.

Next up: '**Go'.** Maybe it's just because of the 'TITANS, GO!' catchphrase before they start a mission or a fight, but that's a pretty exciting name, especially since we're so close to the end.

Later, dorks!


	65. Go!

Season 5, Episode 10

**Step by Step  
**

[]

The second mission is a disaster.

Beast Boy flinches whenever the others walk past him, half-expecting at any time that they'll round on him and tear him down, because they know it was his fault. The bad guys were making a break for it, and the closest exit was the one he was guarding- hesitating just a little too long ended up being the difference between an immediate capture and a four-hour chase around the city.

He expects a reprimand when Robin approaches him that night. Instead, the leader brusquely asks what happened.

Slightly startled, Beast Boy tries to explain. The order was to secure the perimeter and cut off escape routes. As soon as the enemies started to scatter, though, his first instinct was to fight back; a lion morph would have been ideal to disrupt their plan and scare them into a corner. That wasn't the order, though, and he knew if he improvised, he'd be putting the mission in danger. He hesitated instead of following commands perfectly. It's tough to relay it all out loud, because he knows Robin will pound the same lesson into his head again, that he should be able to obey immediately, without any slip-ups. He mutters a 'Sorry, sir' at the end for good measure.

And then Robin says something he didn't expect. The lion plan would have been perfect.

He tries not to grin as Robin asks him for details about the tactical situation that could have played out. He nods when Robin gently reminds him that he needs to focus more, and that they'll drill more to work on reaction times. But he pauses when his leader tells him that, more importantly than anything else, he needs to be himself and utilize his powers- and his own ideas- to the fullest. They didn't need a static, unthinking guard during the fight. They needed a lion.

Robin puts a hand on his shoulder, so alike and so different than Mento. "Next time." He looks him in the eye, and a little bit of the giddy hero-worship Beast Boy felt when he met him for the first time comes back. "You up for it?"

He beams.

[]

The third one's a bit complicated.

From the beginning, Cyborg knew the plan wouldn't work perfectly- but he talked it over with Robin, and they realized there was no way they could account for everything. When the villain steers his giant robot towards one of the main downtown streets, he grits his teeth, because that's pretty much the worst way he could have gone.

So he enacts a different part of the plan.

Their target is keeping a close watch on all the Titans- when they agree to split up, Cyborg talks the long way around. Stopping a terrified man in a hooded jacket, he quickly explains, then dons the coat himself. A few minutes later, he's part of the running crowd, running away from the rampage as the rest of the team closes in behind.

Then, he spins and shoots the robot with the strongest blast he can muster. It's enough to slow it; just enough, in fact, for the others to catch up and take the machine down.

Everyone agrees. A weird one, but a success. And that's the only way he thinks of it until Raven offhandedly remarks that it was strange to see him in 'another disguise'. When he asks what she means, she raises her eyebrows and mentions the hoodie he was wearing when they first met.

He's never really thought about it that way. But... is that what it was? A disguise? That can't be right, because... the sweatshirt was the 'normal' part of him, covering up the rest, which was...

...

It suddenly occurs to him that none of the Titans have called him by his real name. But 'Cyborg'? They've used it all the time.

He looks down at the blue metal covering his arm. Without the machine half of him, he would never be able to do anything like this. Saving the day, taking down bad guys- it's more than he ever could have dreamed.

He wonders which part of him is the 'real' one. He's starting to see it differently.

[]

The fourth is a close one.

Starfire's so intent on finding a way out of the tunnels, she doesn't see the danger behind her until it's too late. The monster jumps out of the shadows, and she barely has time to turn around-

-before a sonic blast knocks it out of the air, and it slams into the earthen wall.

A fight later, and an escape later, and a journey back to the base later, she finally thanks Cyborg for the assistance. He seems surprised at first, before laughing it off with a 'Yeah, well, you owe me one.'

This is, of course, the problem.

She stops him, trying to explain, tripping over frustrated words because she _already_ owed them. All of them. And now there's another obligation added to that, and she doesn't know how she an possibly live up to multiple life-debts.

Cyborg's giving her a funny look.

She'll _try_, though, she absolutely will. She'll dedicate her own actions to protecting and supporting the others, risking her own life first and foremost, because she might not be able to fully repay the deeds but she has to make the effort anyway, and-

"Star, that's... not really how it works around here."

She's startled, but he's looking at the ground with such a thoughtful expression that she waits for him to continue. He quietly says that he didn't help her because he wanted her to owe him or something. He did it because she needed help. Because that's what you do when you're on a team.

Starfire tries to object, but he shrugs uncomfortably. "I don't, like, wanna keep score or anything. That'd be kinda weird. 'Sides, Beast Boy could save my life a hundred times, and he'd still be a little punk."

She doesn't know how to respond.

[]

The fifth slips her mind.

Raven doesn't even think anything of it until later, when Beast Boy snaps his fingers and says _oh, right, _he forgot, and asks how exactly her powers work. She freezes up for a moment, because all she can think of is the way the criminal had stared at her with horror in his eyes, then dropped the gun and tried to escape without even putting up a fight. She hadn't been using the full extent of her ability. She's sure of it. But suddenly she can't stop wondering if the other Titans saw that, and if the power was more visible than she meant it to be.

Maybe they saw it. Maybe they're scared, too.

She takes a deep breath, but when she's about to begin, about to attempt a shaded half-true explanation that won't give the kid nightmares and will probably leave her feeling guilty for lying, he interrupts- because he _kind of_ gets how the flying thing works, right, but she can also phase through walls which is _awesome_, and how does the telekinesis play into all that exactly? He's rattling off questions faster than she can comprehend them, and he's doing it with such a wide-eyed and innocent look on his face that she half expects him to ask for her autograph.

Her relief doesn't last long, though. Eventually, he asks where the powers come from.

Raven only lets her mind panic for an instant, before struggling to calm down and deliver the only deflection she can think of: it's complicated, and she doesn't know exactly how to explain it. She's not sure what Beast Boy will do. He might whine and complain, or try to tease her, or ask again. Or he might mope away to grumble to Robin or something-

"Kay."

She blinks.

A beat of silence, and then he's off again, because he just _has_ to know: if she tried to go halfway through a wall, could she get stuck in it? Or could she go through the floor and, like, end up underground somewhere? 'Cause Negative Man kinda had some powers like that, and he always thought those were really awesome, but this is a little bit different, probably, and WHOA, can _she_ do the astral-projection thing too? That'd be SO cool, and he always wished he could do that, and hey, does she think she could teach him how to throw stuff with his mind?

_He doesn't care._

She doesn't let it show, but the thought hits her. She can't assume for the rest of them, but... at least he's not scared.

Then, another thought: if they're not scared, maybe she doesn't have to be, either.

[]

The sixth is the one that haunts Robin.

Bridges don't just... collapse. Not without warning. Not when they've been inspected and deemed safe. But when it happens, there's no time to look for the reason- they have to move, and the have to move fast.

The evacuation is nearly complete when Beast Boy hears something. The faintest of sounds, barely distinctive over the clamor of people rushing away from the danger zone, but he insists it's there, so Cyborg focuses his vision on the last few abandoned cars in the center of the crossing. He points out a single tinted window, and this time they can all hear it.

A cry for help.

Robin can justify what he does next. He's _sure_ he can. After all, Starfire and Raven are still helping everyone else get off the bridge completely, and Beast Boy- the only remaining Titan who can fly- was moderately hurt when a light pole fell. It's not foolish to run in alone. It's logical.

He ignores the shocked curses from Cyborg's direction when he takes off, sprinting between unmoving vehicles and cracks in the pavement. The others are yelling, trying to regroup, asking each other what's happening, but he doesn't listen.

...

Nothing goes wrong.

...

The man has a few concussion symptoms from when his car slammed into another, but it's not too tough getting him to safety. Cyborg is following close behind the whole way, clearly ready to help if Robin didn't act so quickly. When the structure finally crumbles, partially falling to the street below, no one's even hurt. A complete success.

For some reason, Robin can't stop replaying the scene.

It isn't the first time Cyborg has called him out on something. Later, in the main room, when the echoes from their argument have faded and Cyborg has already stormed into the hallway, he has time to think it over. It's been... _strange_ trying to lead the team. Stranger trying to live with them. But there's something more. He looks down at the communicator on his belt.

This was never part of the plan.

Starfire's voice snaps him out of his reverie, and he finds himself trying to explain what happened. That he moved into action without a plan, without backup, and without communicating with the others. That Cyborg believes he needs to start treating them more like a team, and not throw himself into danger. He'll need to learn more about being a true leader, and work harder to adjust to this new situation. It won't be easy.

She asks why.

It sets him back for a moment, and he has to think before giving an answer. It's difficult to manage this team because... he never intended to, at first. The idea was to be a lone hero for Jump City. He'd intended to work by himself.

He's watching her face as he says it, and the look in her eyes somehow makes him hear the words differently, and he realizes it almost sounds like he's saying he never wanted to form the team. She doesn't ask, but he tries to explain anyway. Organizing people, understanding them, giving them orders- it's more complicated than he expected. More unpredictable.

Again, the words sound false. He wonders if she knows he's lying- that's not the reason he was afraid to work with others.

"Mornarr."

Robin pauses. He knows a few Tamaranean words, but this isn't one of them. Starfire begins speaking slowly, and quietly: the word describes something that's hard to explain in English. She's seen the quality in all the Titans, not just Robin, and she's sure that she carries it herself. It's not tangible, but it can be seen in one's eyes, and heard in their words.

It's a sign of losing someone important, and struggling to move on.

He can't move. He barely remembers to breathe, because he couldn't be more _shocked_, and soon Starfire is apologizing for presuming anything, and just like that, he's alone in the room.

For the first time, he considers that they might be united by more than chance and determination. Maybe the Titans aren't as different as he thought.

Maybe he really isn't alone.

[]

[]

[]

**(I'm really sorry, guys. I know this fic has been dark for longer periods than three weeks, but I always tried to give you a heads-up if there was gonna be a long break, and... I don't know. For some reason, this took a really long time, and I'm baffled that I wasn't able to get it finished sooner. I don't want to blame busyness and stress and school and work and stuff, but that's... kind of correct? Kind of. I've also been having a tough time writing just because of my own laziness, I hate to say. Once again- though you're probably sick of hearing this- I'll TRY to get things rolling more quickly for these last several updates.)**

This is it, man. We finally have... The Backstory. Let me tell you, I did NOT see this coming. I think I watched for about five minutes before I figured it out.

I mean, the opener goes like this. There's some ship in deep space, with guards moving through a corridor... and the most painful, shrieking screams you've ever heard in the distance. It's pretty creepy. So with the general tone of the scene, and the guards talking about 'transporting the prisoner' or whatever... I assumed we were dealing with Blackfire again! Wouldn't that kind of make sense? So it was REALLY shocking to see someone else fly out of the prison and start kicking butt all over the place. She takes out the guards _while handcuffed. _That's pretty boss.

I still didn't get it, at this point. I was just confused. Who the heck is this? It's not Blackfire. I thought it would be Blackfire. It never even occurred to me that this might be in the past.

Then we see Robin taking out some criminals on his own, uttering, 'From now on, I work alone'. I hate to say it, but it STILL didn't click in my head. I was bamboozled because we had this great moment of bonding and trust at the end of 'Revved Up', and suddenly he's saying this nonsense!

Then, 'the alien' crash-landed in the middle of Jump City. Suddenly, everything made sense.

And I was so. _Freaking. _Excited.

I had no idea how much I wanted to see an origin story! I knew bits and pieces about some of their pasts (Robin from general Batman knowledge, Raven from her big story in Season 4, Starfire from a few episodes about Tamaran), but I never expected anything like this. Starfire as an insanely dangerous 'criminal' on the run from an alien army/slave-trading-ring? That's just about the coolest idea I've ever heard in my life.

I guess there _could_ be a problem with this episode. Besides Starfire's story, which is absolute television magic and I will fight anyone who's hatin', the other four stories are... not really given much time at all. Robin's in Jump because he 'works alone', but that's all we get. Beast Boy shows up fresh out of the Patrol, and he clearly wants to be doing new hero-work; that's a few details, I guess. And Raven and Cyborg just kinda show up. They both say they didn't want to do any hero work, so... why _do_ they? Then they both act like no one could ever want them on a team. It's a little odd.

It brings up an interesting question, though. If you only have twenty minutes or so to introduce all these characters, maybe you just _can't_ have a bunch of individual backstories? You guys have told me a lot about Cyborg's past and stuff, for example, but it's not even mentioned here. He just appears, and immediately stops a bus flying through the air, then yells, "Yo! Who's here messin' up my neighborhood?"

Don't get me wrong, that's awesome. It's just not what I expected.

I'm afraid I don't remember anything about the villain, either. There's a whole race of creatures, and a general-type guy who's chasing Starfire the whole time, and they're not too memorable, at least to me.

But everything else was gold, gold, GOLD. The first fight scene between Starfire and Robin- good Lord, you guys, she destroys EVERYTHING. Buildings, cars, streets- they're all going up in explosions. If this wasn't on Cartoon Network, she'd probably be attacking bystanders, too. Then she throws a car at Robin's head. _She throws a car at Robin's head. _It's kind of the best. And when she finally starts using starbolts? She absolutely lights it up. It's actually kind of scary.

'Go' has some pretty clever character moments, too. The first time they're working together at all, Robin tells Cyborg to 'stand down'. He whirls on him, saying, "What, you think you're the boss or something?" I dunno if that counts as foreshadowing back to the first episode, but it's pretty great.

Beast Boy meeting Cyborg- okay, this one was pretty obvious, but still really adorable. Cyborg throws back his hood and yells at Beast Boy, expecting him to freak out and be afraid or make fun of him or whatever. Instead: "A cyborg? ...Coo-ool!"

Robin breaking the handcuffs was probably the most powerful moment of the entire thing, honestly. Starfire's just trashed multiple city blocks, and he still has enough trust to give her even more power. He's just that confident that he can get through to her. It's pretty emotional.

...And then she kisses him, APPARENTLY USES IT TO INSTANTLY LEARN ENGLISH, WHICH IS HILARIOUS AND BRILLIANT, then throws him right back down the ground. That's it, guys. A single scene that's inspiring, then nail-biting, then shocking, then amazingly funny. I can't tell you how perfectly voiced and animated it is. Just... geez.

They finally fight, all together, against a bunch of aliens. It's pretty awesome. Don't have much more to say about that.

One last thought on Starfire: there's a discussion on the ideas of kindness and weakness, where Starfire hasn't really encountered the concept of being 'nice'. She mentions the Citadel, and when asked who they are, she thinks for a minute before responding, "Not... nice." That's smart on its own, but I started thinking about her in a different way. I really love the notion that she trips up words, not because she's dumb or just as a cheap character quirk, but because she's experienced a _culture that values violence and destruction so much that friendship and normal things are bizarre and alien to her._ That's WAY more interesting than just 'ha ha, Starfire can't figure out human words.'

**(Also, what exactly IS the Titans' status at this point? They're still traveling somewhere and trying to find the Brotherhood, right? Is that what they're doing?)**

[]

**All Y'all Jokesters: **Okay, Robin's cool and all, but does he literally have the power to summon swarms of bats to attack robbers? That's just about the coolest thing.

-Robin's first impression of Beast Boy is this: the kid slams into Starfire as a ram, then immediately squeals, "_Wowzers! _You're Robin, aren't you, sir?" And he's saluting the whole time, with the most adorable, excited puppy-eyes imaginable.

-Perfect joke before the fade to black for a commercial break. The buildings are burning, Starfire just escaped them and flew up into space, and they're all just kind of staring up at the sky. Silence, then- "...So, I'm Beast Boy! Who are you?"

-"Seriously. Stop calling me 'sir'." Beast Boy immediately responds, "Roger!" And Robin makes this exasperated face, and you just _know_ that that's not any better.

-('I have to find out if she's a threat!') "More like find out if she'll give him another kiss." Cyborg knows what's up.

-Beast Boy panics when everyone starts going their separate ways, so his idea to stop them is to desperately ask if anyone wants pizza.

-"You're a weird little dude, you know that?" "Heh. You called me dude."

-The guard guy in the hologram sounds intimidating, but it's kinda ruined by the Peter-Pan-hands-on-hips-legs-spread-wide look.

-A minute ago, Starfire was this terrifying soldier of war and destruction. Now... she's ripping through that popcorn, all right.

-"Goofy? My mask is... cool! Raven?" Geez, he actually sounds heartbroken. Both Raven and Cyborg shake their heads with perfect comedic timing.

-"But what about my secret identity?" "What secret identity? You're green." "Ah... Hm... Nah- uh- ...hm." *takes off mask*

-Beast Boy: "So... after trashing a pizza place and a perfectly good video store, now we've managed to make a humongous space gecko mad enough to vaporize our entire town?!" Cyborg blinks, then shrugs. "Go team."

-Robin and Starfire are arguing over who's fault this is, with legitimate good points, and out of nowhere, Beast Boy yells at Cyborg: "I can't believe I let YOU talk me into this!"

-Raven gets everyone to shut up, then when they all look at her, just waves. "...Hi."

-"He's green, half of me is metal, and she's from space. Ya fit in just fine." PREACH. That's why I love this show.

-Literally everyone gets amazing, powerful action shots... then we see Beast Boy as an adorable kangaroo.

-"Alright, I'm only gonna say this once. Booyeah!" OH, AREN'T YOU CLEVER.

-*Raven casually mentions that Beast Boy's kinda funny* "You think I'm... _funny? _Ooh-ho-hoo! I know some jokes!" *Raven instantly regrets saying anything*

-"When there's trouble, you know who to call." OH, YOU SNEAK.

[]

Next up: '**Calling All Titans**'. Only three regular episodes left!

Later, dorks!


	66. Calling All Titans

Season 5, Episode 11

**Fool's Mate  
**

[]

**...**

**Revenge.**

The call is answered.

The prisons are hit first. A terrifying, rampaging beast draws the guards' fire while a silent shapeshifter moves in the shadows.

The Brotherhood is calling in favors.

The first man is nearly caught again, but Rouge covers his escape. Short, stumbling, afraid, he makes his way to the outside world, where a newly-restored powersuit is waiting. He doesn't waste time.

As soon as Adonis has secured the armor, a flat voice tells him what he has to do. He agrees without hesitating, because it's a chance to go up against the team that embarrassed him. The _runt_ that threw him into the dirt. He experiments, moves the red bionic arms, flexes in the open air. He finally feels like himself again. It's time to go to war.

Another facility goes dark. Guards scramble through the halls in confusion before coming face-to-face with a giant, lightning-fast animal they can't even shoot before he's throwing their weapons away, and no one notices three more missing prisoners until it's too late.

The spider doesn't know what's happening. Neither does the girl. But the moth has heard of the Brotherhood, and he swears allegiance as the dead-eyed quiet-as-poison woman leads them to freedom. The opportunity to take on the Teen Titans again isn't a mission, or a payment. It's a reward in itself.

"Oh, ROBBIE-poo! Can't wait to see you again!"

And far away, in a destroyed stadium, a hulk of metal and circuitry is slowly being repaired. Legs stand again. Fingers move. Eyes open. A hard drive remembers a boy with a metal eye, leveling cannons and shouting and _besting him_.

Before any command is given to fight the Titans, Atlas is already swearing his vengeance.

An army is gathering.

**...**

**Power.**

The call is answered.

Rancid leads the riot himself. It fails, of course, but the Brotherhood never planned to free dozens of convicts. There's only one motorcycle waiting outside the walls, after all. One earpiece waiting to give instructions.

One voice, telling him that if he cooperates, he'll become stronger than he ever dreamed. He'll soar across the world on wheels of fire and death, destroying the only obstacles who ever threw him in prison. And then? Then, he'll be unstoppable.

Like the genius who manipulates the security system of another facility, hacking into the camera feeds and playing loops of dead footage. The one who wipes his own name from the records. The one who projects holograms of himself and other prisoners, and even of guards, to fool everyone into letting him go free.

The freak with the brains, but not the brawn. So when he's contacted by an untraceable call, and an emotionless sound tells him how to get access to more than two-bit remotes and cheap laptops, he agrees instantly. He's going to be back on top. He'll have his toys. And he'll have free reign to wreak havoc.

He only has to fight an enemy he already hates.

A world away, in the depths of the ocean, the collapsed ruins of an underwater cave shake and tremble. Drones slice through the waves, metallic submarines with no human divers aboard, and sink down to the level of the rubble before robotic arms start to pluck away the debris.

_I am perfection_.

Eventually, the Brotherhood finds what they're looking for. Trident pulls himself away from the last of the wreckage. No demand is needed. He already dreams of conquering, reclaiming, proving his superiority to those who would defy him.

_I AM PERFECTION._

An army is gathering.

**...**

**Control.**

The call is answered.

The madman is wandering the slums, cackling and waving a broken staff at the faces of dismissive pedestrians. No one remembers, but he dreams of a time when the entire city was under his rule, when the roads and the buildings and the sky itself reflected exactly what he wanted.

An accent even more prominent than his own stops him, and he follows the alluring woman until the Brotherhood can give him his instructions. Bring down the Titans. Play his part. Join the uprising. In return, he'll receive the city once again. He'll be in charge.

All in the name of jolly old England.

In a dark room, a man who saw the future gasps and jolts upright. He's back in his adult body, and he takes a moment to crack his knuckles before he looks up and sees the gorilla standing before him. For an instant, he wonders if it's another trick of time travel.

Then he's offered a deal. The opportunity to fight again, to _live_ again, and to become a master of time once more. All he has to do in return is pledge his loyalty. The Brotherhood welcomes him. And he welcomes the chance.

In an abandoned warehouse, a lifeless toy stirs. Wooden arms scratch against the ground, and joints snap sharply as they unfold. A king of nothing opens his eyes, vitality returning to a broken frame as a radio crackles with static. The orders are given.

He always wanted to possess, and manipulate, and own. The Titans won't know what hit them.

An army is gathering.

**...**

**Mayhem. **

The call is answered.

The three are kept in the same institution, to better contain their unique powers. This makes it a simple matter to break them out. The constant supply of sedatives and tranquilizers are destroyed first, then the restraints. The alarm system and electric fences go next. When the monsters finally open their eyes, the Brotherhood can simply stand back and watch. Cinderblock nearly brings down the entire building when he smashes through the wall.

They're knocked out again, of course. Remotely guided drones hit with three different sleeping gases, any of which would kill a human in minutes. Plasmus and Overload are transported onto larger aircraft. Cinderblock just shrugs off the poison and starts running, which was what the Brotherhood wanted in the first place. He can be guided later. For now, it's enough that he's causing destruction.

Kardiak doesn't need instruction. The Brotherhood simply unleashes him, letting him terrorize the city wherever he can. Not a tool or a soldier, but a grenade, causing the most damage with the least restrictions.

Not even the Brotherhood knows where the last one comes from. She simply appears, Kabuki mask gleaming in the darkness like a smiling ghost. She commits to causing chaos before a single command is given.

An army is gathering.

**...**

**?-?-?**

...

The call is heard.

The assigned location is a mountainous area. She's tired of trekking through the hills, but keeps moving forward anyway. A cloudy sky brings a chill in the air.

She pauses, then speaks into a device in her hand. "Jinx to Mammoth," she says. "Status report."

A crackling voice comes through. "Gizmo n' Billy are in position," he rumbles. "See-More's on his way, and Private went to the wrong spot, but he'll get there eventually. Haven't heard anything from Kyd."

Jinx chuckles. "No one ever does." She starts forward again, along a trail that hugs the side of a mountain before falling into the valleys of the region. "...Question for ya. About the mission."

"Hold on, I'll get in touch with-" Mammoth's voice goes quiet for a moment, then returns with surprise. "Somethin's wrong with the system. Brotherhood can't hear us."

"Yeah. Bit of bad luck, there. Oh, well." Jinx keeps her tone light. "But it really is a question for you."

There's a moment of waiting, and she can't think of the pause as anything but suspicious. But she pushes through, because she has to get it out of her mind. "Do you think this is the best way?"

"...To do what?"

Hesitation. Not good. If he wasn't on alert before, he is now. She swallows. "To get what we want."

Mammoth doesn't answer. She's about to say more, to directly ask if this plan is really theirs at all, if they even want to be a part of the Brain's scheme, but she doesn't have to. She's said enough, she realizes, and it's immediately clear that as far as the Brotherhood is concerned, she's moved from starstruck to surprised to even dissatisfied.

And the continuing silence makes it clear that she's alone in that.

When the reply does come, it sounds out suddenly. "You think joining was a mistake?" And she stares down at the speaker, mind racing, because this was _exactly_ what she wanted, wasn't it? Recognition from the Brotherhood, accolades, a place among the ranks of true villains... To say it _was_ all a mistake would have unimaginable consequences, both in Mammoth's view and her own.

But she can't bring herself to disagree. And she looks up, away from the communicator, into the clouded sky, even as Mammoth echoes his question and it races through her mind, haunting and inescapable.

_What do I do now?_

**...**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**Sacrifice.**

A decision is made.

Robin doesn't look up. He waits, kneeling, keeping his breathing as even as he can, and hopes the Brotherhood can't read anything in his expression. And he listens. The steady hum of machinery and electronics, the muffled footfalls of Mallah as he paces the room, the faint echoes bouncing off the lab's high ceiling- it's all feeding him information. Right now, though, it's better to wait.

Aqualad and Speedy tried to speak up, at one point. Rouge ground their faces into the steel flooring. They're silent beside him.

"YOU COULD HAVE RUN, YOU KNOW."

The words almost make him flinch. The Brain's voice grates him, and it's all he can do not to snap his eyes open and face his captor directly.

"AT THE END. YOU KNEW THAT MADAME ROUGE WOULD DISARM AND CAPTURE YOU." No pitch. No emotion. No rising or falling, or changes in speed, nothing at all to indicate that any sort of intelligence is speaking.

...No. The intelligence is there. It's the humanity that's missing.

"AND YET," the voice drones on, "YOU CHOSE TO STAY."

Robin's mind is racing even as he remains silent. Is there a benefit to speaking? Should he be trying to worm information out of the Brain? He considers the idea, but dismisses it. Until he knows the extent of his enemy's strategy, he's not going to give him anything.

"...WHY?"

He wants to open his eyes. He wants to stand, and fight, and enact some kind of escape- but he can't. No weapons. All attention is directly focused on him, with no hope of a distraction. He has to keep waiting. Keep thinking.

"YOU REFUSE TO ANSWER."

Robin breathes, steeling himself for whatever comes next. They haven't physically attacked him yet- but he's sure torture is more than likely. Briefly, he wonders what Speedy and Aqualad are thinking. Are they following his lead, or working out plans of their own? Are they even still in the room?

"MONSIEUR MALLAH. IF YOU WOULD."

More steps. Echoes. A breath. Then-

-only inches from his face, the most guttural, pounding, vicious roar he's ever heard, the noise like a monster in itself attacking his mind, air and spittle and wind and screaming like a jet engine until he can't even think straight anymore because there's nothing but ringing sounds that last so long he doesn't even notice that the assault is finished. He's sure he's shaking, that the illusion of perfect composure is gone, but he doesn't give the Brain the satisfaction of seeing him cry out or flinch away in fear.

"I'LL ASK YOU AGAIN," the Brain intones, and the words somehow sound more robotic even than before. "WHY?"

He has to keep it together. He can't give him _anything_ that could be used against the team. But...

...Why not. He just had a five-hundred-pound hyperintelligent gorilla soldier scream in his face. Maybe it's time to try some intimidation of his own. Besides, he's feeling more than a little frustrated.

Robin still doesn't look up. "Disabling the communicators was more important." Finally speaking, for the first time since Rouge dragged him all the way to this base, hurts his voice. It ends up sounding more gravelly and dark than he meant it to. Not bad, he considers.

When the next question is asked, it's with deliberate pauses, as if the Brain is trying to stress each word. "AND DO YOU FEEL YOU HAVE SUCCEEDED?"

"...What do you mean."

"DO NOT DECEIVE YOURSELF, ROBIN." He's getting better at listening for inflections in the voice. There's still nothing in the words but perfect balance, but it's clear the Brain is mocking him. "YOU MADE TO STOP MY PLAN AFTER IT HAD ALREADY SUCCEEDED. DESTROYING THE COMMUNICATORS MEANS NOTHING." Another pause- he thinks the Brain is standing closer now. "FOR HERE YOU ARE. CAPTURED. HELPLESS."

"YOU HAVE FAILED, GREAT LEADER. AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT WE WILL DO TO YOU."

...

The threat of torture isn't what hits him.

Taunting can get a rise out of Beast Boy. Arrogance and bragging make Cyborg absolutely _livid_ sometimes. Raven hates the careless, reckless use of power, and Starfire bristles whenever anyone can't see past their own ego.

But there is nothing in the world Robin despises more than someone who thinks they know everything _when they don't._

"You're wrong," he hisses immediately, and snaps his head up. Eyes open and glaring, he takes in the sight before him- the lab is gargantuan, but empty. Reflective metal walls stretch up into the darkness, and the only light comes from the computer display across the room, where a map of the entire world glows and hums with coordinates and times. It's barely enough illumination to see the hulking figure of Mallah, now silently watching from a distance, but Robin's attention is immediately drawn to the Brain. Directly in front of him, the leader is simply... waiting. A silhouette against the far light of the monitor. Like he's supposed to be an intimidating figure- a shadow controlling the Earth.

Robin doesn't care. "You're wrong," he says again, now standing. "_You _don't know what _we'll_ do."

A light flickers below a panel on the front of the Brain, and Robin just _knows_ he's about to say something condescending. "You already played your hand," he says quickly, before his enemy can respond. "You don't have any surprises left. You sprang the trap, but you gave away _everything._ Every criminal, every villain under your command is out in the open. You knew our locations, so you sent them all at once."

"But now? Now I've broken your only link to the Titans. The comms are destroyed. Your intel's outdated. Your precious network is dark. The chessboard's gone." He even takes a step forward, giving the Brain his best wolf's grin. "It's our turn, now. And you'll never see us coming."

There's no way to tell. The Brain doesn't react at all, obviously, so he has no idea if the threat has gotten through or if he just looks like a fool. But the leader is silent for a moment. "...YOU PLACE TOO MUCH FAITH IN YOUR PAWNS, FALLEN KING."

It _burns_ him. That this arrogant narcissist honestly thinks the Titans are incapable of strategy. Robin is absolutely done with anybody underestimating his team. He's _sick_ of people thinking they're too young, or too inexperienced, or too weak. "They're not the pawns," he says quietly. "They're the players."

"And they're going to win."

[]

[]

[]

_(Note: The 'Jinx is having second thoughts' idea is 100% speculation. I don't think she even showed up in the episode, so I have no idea what's really going on with her.)_

SO. HERE WE ARE.

I genuinely don't know how to express how shocked and happy and caught-off-guard I am by this episode. I considered just pasting a line of stunned, babbling swears over and over until I got the point across, but let's just leave it at this: **'Calling All Titans' blew me away.**

Before this, remember, we had three episodes that didn't move the main plot forward much. We had a brilliant HIVE-focused episode, then the comedy one with Ding-Dong Daddy, then a backstory. So it's been a while since the Brotherhood have shown up at all. And geez, they absolutely delivered- not only do the bad guys come back in full force, but they make a few completely inspired choices with the story.

My 'where exactly is everybody right now' question was answered in the first few minutes, as Beast Boy points out that they've been fighting the Brotherhood for months, and they're about to go home. Then the Titans do something that seems like a bad idea for them, but a fantastic idea for the plot: _They decide to split up_. They're planning to gather up all the Titans, and recruit a bunch of new ones, all at once. All to get ready for battle against the Brotherhood. Storywise, that's awesome!

But it also hits off a million warning bells. You just KNOW it's gonna end badly, especially when _Beast Boy_ is the one tentatively saying maybe they should stick together to stay safe. It's exciting, and worrying, and pretty much boss all-around. He says at one point that he's been fighting them for most of his life- when I heard that, I realized I never considered how many battles the Patrol has probably fought against the Brotherhood. So he probably _does_ know what he's talking about.

Naturally, the rest of the Titans assume it'll be fine, and literally split their ship into five smaller ships. This is where it gets interesting.

See, I knew the Brain had some kind of plan with the communicator. I wasn't sure what, but I knew there was a scheme a-brewin'. And Hotspot and Wildebeest had already been defeated before this. So I thought the Brotherhood's plan was to separate the Titans as much as possible, then take them out one by one. So it made sense that they were glad to see them scattering like this; the scene even cuts to Hotspot and Wildebeest, frozen like statues. At this point, in my mind, the Brotherhood's grand plan was to separate the Titans and hunt them down.

But I was wildly confused after that, because why on earth would the Brain wait for all the Titans to link up and join together with the communicators and everything? Simple: because he's using the communication to locate them all. And THEN he attacks them one by one.

This was supposed to be obvious, right? Like, I'm assuming I should have picked up on this right away. Instead, I got two-thirds of the way through the episode before I figured it out. I have a bunch of notes describing how dumb the Brain is for letting all the Titans join up and communicate with each other. They're all pretty embarrassing to look at now.

And when the big evil plan goes into motion, Robin is forced to action. He is, quite literally, calling all Titans. He even says it and everything. S'kind of a big deal.

Okay, character stuff next. Can we talk about how many different people show up in this episode? Old and new, there are _dozens_ of characters flying around, and it's delightful. I mean, does _anyone_ remember 'Tramm the fish boy'? I'm pretty sure he had one scene in one episode in the first season!

Then you have brand-new kids like Argent, who is my new favorite and I don't even care if I'm exaggerating. She's sarcastic, calm, British, has a really bizarre Harley-Quinn-like design, and kinda floats around and makes energy attacks and stuff. Her intro scene is her casually stopping a dam from bursting. Seriously, she's the best.

I think I've seen Bushido before, but I'm not sure. Maybe in that Robin-alone episode with the master fighter? I don't know. And Pantha is absolutely legendary from the moment you first see her in the wrestling ring.

Herald- blows a horn to fight, kinda looks like Raven- is pretty cool too, but I was really impressed by the scenery around him. The whole place is rad: the red-white-black abstract backgrounds, the purple floaty rocks that look like Raven's mindscape, a bunch of jellyfish mushroom monsters that get scared away by a trumpet (?), the way nothing really makes sense spatially, and the way it makes Raven glow in black the whole time.

I've heard y'all talk about Jericho, but I still know nothing about him _from this episode_, because he hasn't said anything and his fight scene happened off-screen. I'll leave talking about him for another time.

Then we start seeing new guys without any context. A dude with purple lightning shows up, a lady with giant bird wings, some guy RIDING AROUND ON A FLYING ELECTRIC GUITAR, WHICH IS THE BEST, a guy with an arrow on his chest that lets him... get really big? And an old man with an exposed purple brain. I don't know any of them, honestly.

And then every villain I can even think of shows up all at once.

WE GET THE OLD SUN TZU GENERAL GUY. AND TRIDENT. AND THE ENTIRE H.I.V.E. SQUAD. AND KARDIAK, AND JOHNNY RANCID, AND KILLER MOTH AND KITTEN AND CINDERBLOCK AND WARP AND ADONIS AND ATLAS AND EVEN MAD MOD AND THE PUPPET KING. There's even a mysterious guy that I _think_ I've seen before, with a popped collar and some nunchucks. Seems familiar. I dunno. And we even get _Cheshire_, who I've only ever seen in Young Justice. She just shows up, and it's kind of awesome.

Man, even Thunder and Lightning show up again! I completely forgot about them, honestly. They fight two giant guys I've never seen.

The point is, it's interesting having all these people from all over the place joining the story. The Titans have heard of them, obviously, because they wouldn't know where to look otherwise. And a lot of them have heard of the Titans, since they're kinda famous. But they haven't been in touch before this, making it seem like this really is an unprecedented worldwide gathering of heroes. It's pretty great.

Gut-punch moment of the day: there's a scene where Robin, having just realized how badly he messed up with the communicator thing, has to just stand there and listen as Starfire screams from the other end. She's getting attacked with an electric fire whip or something, and he can't stop it from happening- and it's all coming in over the comm, which is the very symbol of what went wrong in the first place. Dang.

The ending is really strong. After Robin buries Rouge under a gosh-dang landslide (she comes right back, but still, that's _savage_), he starts fiddling with his communicator instead of trying to escape. Rouge proves basically immortal, since at one point Robin froze her and then smashed her into a million pieces, then defeats and captures Robin- but not before he's able to shut down all the communicators. All of them.

We get a bunch of haunting scenes where the individual Titans are winning and losing their own battles, and all the communicators simply malfunction. One by one, they all stop working at all. So when Robin- along with Aqualad, the twins, Argent, and Speedy- is captured at the end, you realize that the rest of the Titans have no way of communicating. It's... it's pretty ominous, and I think I really like it.

[]

**Ye Olde-Time Jokes: **Beast Boy, holding up a communicator: "Haven't we already given these things to everyone we know?" He then lists off like a dozen people. I KNEW I wasn't the only one who had trouble keeping track!

-He's just... he's so, so excited to finally go home and play some video games, and... you just _know_ it isn't going to happen.

-Beast Boy, climbing the mountain as a ram, is clearly tired. Even as a ram, he's huffing and puffing and looking absolutely exhausted. And he keeps complaining that his destination is so far away. Why is this funny? _Because, the entire time, I couldn't stop wondering why he doesn't just FLY up there._

-Robin finds this Bushido dude AT THE EXACT MOMENT he's also getting attacked by a random group of ninjas. It's glorious.

-Also the ninjas explode into smoke.

-Bushido just catches a throwing star on his sword, then- while it's still spinning- throws it back. What.

-It's never _not_ gonna be weird to me that Gnarrk swings Kole like a baseball bat.

-Pantha is the best. When Cyborg first tries to talk to her, another wrestler tags him in, so Pantha immediately throws him across the room.

-AS CYBORG WALKS AWAY, PANTHA IS USING ONE WRESTLER LIKE A CLUB TO BEAT ANOTHER WRESTLER.

-Beast Boy gets to the top, finally, and sees that it's the wrong mountain, and there's another even taller one. He cries a little. _But dude, why aren't you flying?!_

-Jericho is such a hippie. He's playing guitar in a field of golden flowers on top of a mountain. I instantly love this kid.

-"I told Robin we shouldn't separate but he sent me up here and I just climbed up this big mountain and so here's your stupid communicator IF BAD GUYS COME YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO." Beast Boy promptly passes out, then meekly asks Robin if they can go home now. Jericho just pats his head like a cat.

-Mas and Menos run across the entire country just so they can make a joke about Este and Oueste.

-Beast Boy, trying not to panic: "My heart's not even racing! ...Wait a minute. That's not MY heart." *sees Kardiak, screams*

-I know I should be excited and eager to find out what Robin's planning, and what the Brian's going to do next, and I definitely am hyped about that. But, honestly, I really want to know HOW EXACTLY JERICHO BEAT UP ALL THOSE GUYS, BECAUSE IT HAPPENED OFF-SCREEN. Did he attack them with his guitar? Did he serenade them into submission? Is he just magic? I have to know!

[]

Next up: 'Titans Together'.

Major props to anyone who's still reading this! I know the wait times have been pretty ridiculous recently, and once again, I'm sorry about that. We're so close to the end, though! It's crazy to think there are only two episodes left.

Later, dorks!


	67. Titans Together

Season 5, Episode 12

**System Crash  
**

[]

It was fighting like a whirlwind.

Beast Boy plunged into the water again, fighting the urge to claw his way back to the surface in a panic. Instead, he opened his eyes and did his best to spot his target under the waves. Kardiak could have been anywhere- the robotic monster had been leaping and diving and tearing through the sea so quickly that Beast Boy hadn't been able to pinpoint an exact location, let alone actually attack.

And he was getting pretty sick of dodging.

The faintest sound and the dimmest shadow were warning enough; bubbles streamed from Beast Boy's mouth as he dove, scrambling away from Kardiak as the machine exploded into the water once more. He only just avoided the writhing metal pipes and bludgeons. The raft was long gone, torn to pieces by Kardiak's rampage, and Beast Boy was sure that morphs or no morphs, he was going to run out of energy soon.

And time, if Kardiak got to him before he figured out a plan. So even as he was tumbling through the depths, he made his move without taking time to form a plan. Soon, the senses of a great white shark made the water as clear as daylight.

Beast Boy shot towards his target like a torpedo. Levels of brightness and dimness made Kardiak stand out even in the gloom, and the shark's detection of motion let him know exactly when and where the robot would start to move. First, one of the waving tentacles made to strike at him- he swiped to the side easily. Then, Kardiak tried to move back to the surface, probably hoping for a more even fight once out of the shark's element.

Beast Boy didn't give him the chance. The speed of his attack almost scared him; in seconds, the shark was back, tearing into the machinery and ripping electrical limb from limb. One of the heavy metal tubes swung down, catching him in the side.

It hurt.

Something changed.

He was _flying_, moving with a ferocity he'd only felt a few times before. Teeth slashed through the gyrating arms, and soon Kardiak was falling apart-

Helpless, flailing, losing everything-

_Just like we are, because the whole team's been separated and we have no idea where anyone even IS-_

Beast Boy came back to himself with a start. The robot was destroyed, individual pieces slowly sinking beneath the waves, and he was tempted for a second to say something clever. 'Looks like your heart wasn't in it', maybe. Yeah, that'd probably do the trick.

He was far too tired, though. Unconsciously, he'd switched back to human form; floating, treading water, he took stock of the dark night around him. Except for labored breathing and a pain-filled exhaustion in his limbs, it was almost like nothing had changed.

There was the raft, after all. Just sort of floating, wrecked, useless...

His gaze moved up, and he squinted- just past the raft, he could see what looked like a shore. Some kind of land, at least. Trying to conserve his energy, he started swimming towards the beach.

His ears pricked. A distant sound, almost lost in the hushed waves.

Beast Boy's eyes widened. No, no, there _couldn't_ be more, not now, not so soon after fighting Kardiak- not when he was already about to collapse. He knew immediately that they were drones, probably flying low over the water and hoping to catch him off-guard. They had to have been assigned to cover if one of the Brotherhood's battles was lost.

He didn't look behind him. Still facing forward, not showing any signs of his panic, he kept swimming, but it didn't matter. Everything was heading to the shore anyway. The destroyed raft, the robots following behind- he didn't have much time, they'd be on him soon, he'd have to make his move, no time to plan or call for help or even _think_-

Wait. The raft.

He heard something whirring behind him, and immediately ducked under the water. As a sailfish, he launched sideways, dodging the drone that had slammed a fist down towards him and making his way to the tatter of rubber and plastic. Robin was always prepared for anything, always outfitting Titans equipment with failsafes and contingencies they'd almost never need, Beast Boy was _sure_ of it, because he'd made fun of him for it, and there had to be something here. Something. Anything.

He morphed while still underwater. Human eyes stared at the device affixed to the raft. Human hands worked to remove it from the broken, ripped frame.

...That would work. There was even a detonator.

One last wave shoved him and the debris forward, and his arm brushed up against something firm. As quickly as he could, Beast Boy made a mental note of where everything was: the robots hovering above the surface, the shore he'd just encountered, the raft, and himself. Then, using the wreckage as cover, he circled behind his targets and leaped out of the water.

...

It was tempting, sometimes, to be overcome by worry.

He dove as a seagull, using the momentum of his jump to fall faster towards the robots. Just before impact, he became a black bear, crashing in the knee-deep shallows and striking one drone with a swipe of a paw while snapping at another with shining teeth. The fight exploded into a flurry of movement, three- no, four- robots trying to surround him while he kept up a string of attacks. No time to rest. He couldn't let up, or else they'd find their chance.

It would be easy to give in to despair.

He had no idea where the other Titans were. The only thing that had been clear, just before the comms went dark, had been that something was going horribly wrong. Everyone he could hear was relaying emergency messages and asking for help, and then- nothing. And there was already a dark, distant part of his memory that cowered at the mention of the Brotherhood.

Beast Boy took a running charge at one of the drones, trampling it in the water before he rose up to take aim at a second. Razor-sharp claws ripped through circuits and marked gashes in metal armor.

...But he couldn't stop. Not now. Not when the entire team might need him most.

The last fight was the shortest, ending abruptly as he collapsed his weight onto the final drone. It crumpled under the shallow waves, and Beast Boy soon returned to human form, struggling to crawl up onto the sand before falling to his hands and knees. Adrenaline fading, the sheer amount of energy he'd expended suddenly hit him, and for a few minutes, he could do nothing but try to breathe and recover his strength.

He was still alone. Hurt. He had an idea where to go from here, but no guarantee it would succeed.

He'd _won,_ though.

A grin slipped through the gasps of air. He tilted his head up, noticing that it was growing lighter around him as the morning broke. The drones were motionless on the shore behind him, and he scanned the ground to make sure the bomb was in the right place.

One of the Brotherhood's robots stirred. A mechanical eye looked his way. Beast Boy breathed deep, one hand still on the detonator.

It was time to settle the score. Save the day.

Be freakin' awesome.

"_Now_ try and follow me."

...

_Boom._

[]

[]

[]

**Ctrl-S**

[]

The fight ended up jumbled, in Cyborg's memory. It was hard to pick out specifics. There was the snow, obviously, and the howling arctic wind. The stars reflecting off the ice around him. Mammoth's face, leering over the edge, slowly disappearing upward.

Oh, right. And falling. Falling for a _really_ long time.

He had no idea why the canyon was there. Maybe he'd slipped off the rim of a glacier or something, or maybe his and Mammoth's colossal battle had ripped a gash in the tundra itself. But yeah, that was one of the scattered, random thoughts that had flown through his head as he tumbled down into the darkness. Another was more despondent, reflecting on the collapse of the Titans' communication right when the attacks had started, and wondering if the others were doing alright.

The third thought was more direct- oh no, I'm falling, someone help me, I'm gonna die.

Even that hadn't gone the way he'd expected. He'd crashed against uneven cliffs and juts in the stone of the chasm, slowing down to the point that when he finally stopped moving, he was pretty sure he'd survive. But he definitely remembered feeling his systems power down, trying to save enough energy to keep him alive. Sorta like a power nap.

And he remembered one more thing. His hand moving, ever so slightly, and brushing against... plants.

Cyborg smiled.

Sure enough, his next memory was of Kole, kneeling and staring at him with a quizzical look, like a kid excited to see her friend but confused why he was lying at the bottom of an abyss. Exactly like that, in fact, but before he could explain, Gnarrk lumbered into view, and Cyborg realized they had some issues to figure out.

Hugs and 'Boy-am-I-glad-to-see-you's came first, and then it was down to business.

"Don't know," he said flatly. "Robin's last transmission wasn't exactly clear." They were back at Kole and Gnarrk's home, more or less, and Cyborg sat underneath some kind of tree he'd never seen before. "Far as I can tell, the Brotherhood started launchin' attacks all over the place. Then Robin cut the comms, and... yeah."

"That's not enough to go on!" Clearly frustrated, Kole was pacing the stone ground in front of him. "Where would we even start?"

"Well, we can't just sit here." He scowled. "If I gotta keep sayin' it, I will. We _gotta_ get moving."

"And do what?" Kole wasn't facing him, and he didn't think her worried tone was directed his way- she seemed more angry about the general situation. "We don't know anything about the other Titans, we can't reach anyone, we _definitely _don't have a strategy for attacking the Brotherhood... and on top of all that, we have no idea where we would even go!"

"Gnarrk," the man agreed.

Cyborg let his head fall in his hands. He hadn't pictured it all spelled out like that, and if he was being honest, it seemed more and more impossible the more he thought about it. Kole threw her hands up with an annoyed, "Ugh! We just... we don't have anything to go on! Unless a miracle drops out of the sky and shows us what to do next, I'd say we're pretty much out of luck!"

Her last yell echoed for a bit. Gnarrk gave his friend an odd look, and Cyborg glanced her way as well. She was still holding her hands up, looking around hopefully. "Um... you okay?" he ventured.

"Huh." Slightly disappointed, she lowered her hands. "Yeah, it's just... I kinda thought something was gonna happen? I guess I expected-"

"Oh, come on, kiddies," a voice interrupted. "You should know by now; I'm always unexpected."

Kid Flash was suddenly standing among the group, looking from Cyborg to Kole to Gnarrk with a beaming grin. "Hey, there, how ya doin', name's KF, Kid Flash for short," he chirped, shaking hands with the two he hadn't met in an instant and appearing at Cyborg's side even faster. "Wow, I do _not_ mean to be rude, just met ya and all, but do you guys have anything to eat? I am absolutely starving."

Cyborg gaped, still trying to catch up to the conversation. "Uh... whadya mean?"

Still grinning, Kid Flash slowly bent down until his elbows rested on his knees. "Oh, nothing major," he said cheerfully. "It's just I've been literally running around the world all day, and I think I actually might pass out? Maybe. Could go either way, ya know?" He swayed slightly, then blinked. "Okay, yeah, definitely leaning towards la-la-land. Just gonna... gonna sit down for a moment here."

While Gnarrk ran to grab some food, Kid Flash did his best to explain what was going on. "I'm trying to get the message to everyone, since- well, you know how it is, with the... things." He mimed holding a communicator, then made an exploding sound and pretended to drop it. "_P-choo._ Really putting the 'run' back in 'communication'."

Cyborg raised an eyebrow. "I don't think that-"

"Not the point." Leaning back against the tree, Kid Flash pointed to Cyborg while closing his eyes. "Your buddies, you know, the A-team and all- they're fine. Figured I should lead with that. Starfire ended up teaming up with Bumblebee and that Russian guy, and they took on..." He waved a hand vaguely. "Moth... guy. And the loud girl with the whip. I get these names mixed up."

"Seriously?" Incredulous, Cyborg blinked. "And Raven?"

"Heard she got wrapped up in some shenanigans. You know, alternate-dimension-type business. Psimon and... the quiet, creepy one. Red eyes, floats and stuff."

"Kyd Wykkyd?"

"Yeah, him." He opened his eyes, cracking another grin. "Apparently some small children saved her. Like, toddlers. Strange world we're living in, buddy."

Cyborg scratched his head as Kid Flash gratefully accepted some kind of bright green fruit from Gnarrk. "You're tellin' me."

"Mm. I owe you one, big guy." He devoured another couple bites, then looked back up to Cyborg and Kole. "Point is, everyone's grouping up, all safe, all ready to go, all itching to take on the big boss. You game?"

"Of course." Kole's eyes widened. "Wait, so... if we have you, we can communicate. We can get messages to the others, and put together a plan of attack." She turned to beam at Cyborg. "We might actually pull this off."

He wanted to smile back, to agree and get excited about a big fight. But he hesitated. "What about Beast Boy?" he said quietly.

For a second, a blank look hit Kid Flash's face. "Uh... haven't heard from him, I don't think. I'm sure he's got a posse of his own, yukking it up in Paris somewhere."

Cyborg was getting tired of repeating words as questions, but he didn't see an alternative. "Wait, Paris?"

"Oh, right." Kid Flash pulled a note out of his pocket, numbers scrawled across one side. "You got a GPS or something in your arm, right? Get the coordinates in there, and boom- you're on your way to the Brotherhood's secret base."

Silence. Once again, Cyborg found himself with his mouth hanging open.

An impressed, shocked voice came from beside him. "Gnarrk."

Kole's eyes lit up. "Well, what are we waiting for? Come on, Gnarrk, let's get everything ready for a road trip!" The two took off immediately, chattering and preparing to leave the underground.

"Well!" Cyborg looked back to Kid Flash, who had leaped to his feet and was now stretching as if nothing was wrong. "I'm off to get the word out to the rest. Make sure we all hit at the same time and all. Should be fun."

"Hold up." With a slight frown, he tilted his head to one side. "How'd you find out where the base is? We've been tryin' to crack that case for months."

"Oh, that? Simple." Kid Flash paused for a second, then shrugged. "Guess you could just call it... a stroke of good luck."

"Good lu-" His mouth snapped shut, and he gaped once more. "...No way. You're kidding."

Kid Flash grinned. "Like I said, man. It's a strange world we live in." He stretched his arm over his head again, then leaned to the side like he was getting ready for a hundred-yard dash. "See you at the big dance, yeah?"

Cyborg blinked, and he was gone.

"Well?"

Turning, he saw Kole and Gnarrk looking at him like that _hadn'_t been the strangest conversation they'd ever been a part of. "Ready to go?"

"...Yeah." Finally giving a determined grin, he cracked his knuckles. "Titans... let's roll."

[]

[]

[]

(Credit to A-LionGleek for the idea that Jinx is the reason everyone knew where the base was! Thought that was pretty darn clever, if I do say so myself.)

So, I know this isn't the season finale. I _know_ that, in my heart. But I couldn't stop feeling like it was. I mean, it was the end of the Brotherhood storyline, the end of Beast Boy's whole deal in this season (I think), and it brought a satisfying conclusion to the absolutely ludicrous number of different characters we'd been following this whole time.

And I absolutely loved it.

This opener, man. THIS FREAKIN' OPENING SCENE. The conversation didn't go quite the way I imagined in the last update- instead, we get the Brain's monologue while we see flashbacks of the comms being handed out, all over the world.

Then, the defeat. We get downright _cinematic _shots of Cyborg, Starfire, Raven, Aqualad and Bumblebee losing their fights and falling before the Brotherhood. The colors, the way the music syncs up with the movement, the falling towards or away from the camera... these scenes are done beautifully.

Ominous music, a bunch of them getting frozen by Professor Chang, Robin being taunted over and over for letting this happen, the strong sense that everything got completely turned on its head... and then this.

"Together, you are formidable. But apart, you are lost. Powerless. _Mine._" His voice is one I still don't really love, but the actual writing is gold.

"Who among you can possibly stop me, now?"

Cut to a shoreline, with dozens of destroyed robots. Beast Boy standing a few feet away. Utters: "_Now_ try and follow me." Hits a button. They all explode.

Cue theme song. DANG.

I'm not alone in thinking that's awesome, right? Every single shot was intense, dark, and whatever adjective you can use for 'Geez, what on earth's gonna happen next? I gotta know!' And that's just the opener.

The plot is grandiose and still follow-able. The character list is gigantic, but they fit in enough crazy moments that it works. The jokes are _fantastic_, the action is crisp and quick, and the animation itself- angles, colors, variation of shots and styles- keeps the entire episode in a really, really fun light. I just... guys, this episode is so good. Dunno what else to say.

So once Beast Boy makes his way to the secret emergency base, he ends up joined by Pantha, Mas (sans brother), Herald, and Jericho. Dunno how they all found it, but maybe all Titans know where it is, just in case. But that doesn't really matter, because this is a pretty sweet ragtag team they have here, and it's _really_ fun to see Beast Boy as the de facto leader, since he does and doesn't know what he's doing in a few different ways. They're heroes, but this is a new situation for all of them, and they really have to try some new things to make it work.

Exhibit A: the fight against Cinderblock. We're talking using Mas as live bait. We're talking Herald sending him into another dimension, then dropping him back out of the sky. WE'RE TALKING STRAIGHT-UP BODYSNATCHING, LIKE A 50'S ALIEN MOVIE, BECAUSE JERICHO IS ABSOLUTELY TERRIFYING ONCE YOU KNOW HIS POWERS. A few people warned me what he can do, but it's something else entirely to actually _see_ it, you know? That's really scary. And awesome. Scary-awesome.

"He may have bricks for brains, but I can see enough. The Brotherhood's base is in Paris." That's absolutely the coolest! Did they actually plan all this? Like, 'Hey, let's draw out Cinderblock then let Jericho take over his mind and body so we can steal the information of where the base is!' Because that's pretty brilliant.

I have as a note, "Could Jericho just stay in there, and they suddenly have a Cinderblock on the team?" APPARENTLY YES, YES HE CAN.

...Shoot, where was I going with this? Oh, right, Beast Boy and his gang! It's a fun couple of scenes, having the whole group sneak into/fight their way into the base, especially once the action starts ramping up. And it really rocks to have Beast Boy spearheading this whole thing, since he has the most history with the Brotherhood.

You know what? Usually I try to organize this part into characters, plot, interesting questions, stuff like that. But right now I just really want to talk about the ending fight. It takes like half the episode, and it's amazing, so let's forget organization and just talk shop.

...Do you know how many characters are showing up here? Villains first, then heroes? It's a lot. IT'S A LOT, I SAY. First off, the Brain is offering up Robin as some kind of weird gift-sacrifice thing for all the previous seasons' enemies, and it's supremely creepy. Then everything goes _off the rails. _Beast Boy's motley crew show up, and Pantha does some weird punch that leaves a giant red mark on Mammoth's face, Herald yells 'I don't like your music' to the electric guitar guy, some weird French guy shows up out of nowhere, Jericho possesses Control Freak and makes him fight with lightsabers (I WOULD WATCH AN EPISODE OF JUST THAT, FOR REAL), and everything goes crazy.

I had to sit and think about that for a while. After everything that's happened, this tiny crew of like six people still looked at the entire Assorted Flavors of _almost every villain the show has ever had_, and they decided, 'Yeah, let's go for it.' That's wonderful. They actually try to fight them all *at the same time*. It's inspiring, you know? It's crazy, and fun, and dangerous, and really, really brave.

I mean, the plan fails. But still.

Yes, unfortunately, our heroes get tripped up. Jericho switches between like seven different people, but still gets caught- they even cover up his eyes, so he can't do the thing. The bad guys jack the trumpet. Pantha goes down for the count. Everyone runs TOWARDS the giant T-Rex while it's swinging its tail, and even though that's a hilariously bad idea, they're still able to basically take him down. Long story short, everyone's in trouble.

And then. _And then. _

Everybody just... shows up.

Cyborg, Kole, and Gnarrk climb out of a hole in the ground. Bam_. _Raven and the kids show up, even the giant magic bear. _Bam. _Starfire, Red Star, and Bumblebee float down through a break in the base's walls like avenging angels of death. BAM.

I was so, so happy.

And then? Even more bad guys show up who we hadn't seen clearly yet? Is that the dragon from the spell book back in season 3? Is that Ding-Dong Daddy? AND IS THAT MOTHER GOSH-DANG MAE-EYE?

It's absolute madness. But even with all the callbacks and cameos, we still keep a focus on Beast Boy and the Brotherhood. He's making a mad dash towards the Brian, and everyone else is kinda clearing the way for him. Perfect example: Rouge stops him, and pauses to monologue. "I should have crushed you long ago!" Immediately gets tackled by Pantha, and Beast Boy just keeps runnin'. It might be the most exciting part of the whole deal.

(Side note: Raven tells the three kids, "Okay, fine! Just stay out of the way of anyone older than you!" They proceed to fight anyone and everyone. It's awesome.)

And while Beast Boy's doing his thing, the rest of the Titans are _freeing everyone._ Everyone who was frozen is back in the fight, and then the villains- particularly Cheng, who's basically responsible for the whole ice-thing- get frozen themselves. That's especially satisfying.

Even random stuff is fun. I'm pretty sure Kilowatt just _absorbs_ Overload. Like, he's dead now. He's literally just gone. And Kid Flash's meeting with the HIVE Five is priceless: "Now's the time when you're prob'ly thinkin', 'I shouldn'a hooked up with these Brotherhood guys.' Hate to say it, but- Told ya!" Stone cold, man.

And Jinx showing up makes it even better. She just _annihilates _them, immediately throwing a hex their way that throws them all across the room.

I know I'm not being particularly insightful with these comments right now, but... Jinx and Hotspot and Wildebeest are the ones who get to take down Madame Rouge! _That's so wonderful! _All three of them have a history with her, so it rocks to see them meet again.

And to wrap it all up, the main Titans again. The original five, sprinting and flying towards the Brian while knocking aside anyone in their way, with a crazy-intense symphonic version of the theme song playing.

(Also, seriously, Brain, you're a loser. Mallah wisely told you to leave, two or three different times, and you were all, "Oh, cowardice does not become you, Mallah." And now as soon as you're actually in danger, you're just rocketing out of there like a chump. Ya dope.)

And the _final_ final battle has Beast Boy fighting Mallah as a gorilla. I'm completely serious. That happens, and it's the best thing ever. And they get to freeze the Brain, along with everyone else, and... it's just good, you guys! It's happy! It's exciting, and chaotic, and everything works out in the end, and it's just a really happy episode!

...

And, in a way, that bugged me for a while.

Plot-wise, this really feels like a season finale. But there isn't really any of the crazy emotion of the other biggest episodes. You don't get the weight of someone almost dying, or sacrificing something really important for someone else, or anything like that. It's just action. Fantastic action, but... still just action. It resolves the last episode in a really fun way, but there's no deeper impact. Does that make sense? There's danger, but it's all resolved without anything really going wrong.

...This makes me worried.

See, there's one more episode left. And I have to wonder if that weight, and emotion, and those heavier ideas that weren't really a part of this one, might show up in the finale. And it's even MORE worrying that half you guys have told me 'Things Change' is great, and half have said it's the worst. Kind of nervously excited over here.

And it really was kind of sad seeing these scenes play out, in a way. Especially the Titans coming back at the end. Robin showing up to help, and reaching out a hand to Starfire with a grin. Beast Boy and Cyborg joking in the middle of a battle. Raven being an absolute boss with her black energy attacks. I can't believe it's almost over, you know?

[]

**Jokes n' Things**: "You know, for a top-secret emergency base, it's actually kinda homey!" *light bulb immediately burns out*

-"I brought someone with me." Jericho steps out of the portal, and everybody groans in disappointment. SAVAGE.

-Beast Boy gives the big inspiring 'We're all that's left' speech, then asks for everyone's powers. Rifts in space. Strength. Running fast, but not without Menos. And Jericho just flashes the 'peace' sign.

-Good God. They leave Mas out in the middle of the street for bait, then CINDERBLOCK PUNCHES THROUGH THE FREAKING GROUND. He's just _right there._

-Mas angrily calls Herald 'Trumpet Boy', then says (in Spanish) that they have a magnetic connection, and the closer they are, the stronger the link. Finally, with tiny fury, he yells, 'Don't you know _anything?' _Pantha translates the entire rant as, "He said it was a... twin thing."

-Their cover is blown because Jericho accidentally says 'Thanks'. I love it.

-Pantha, with her awesome accent, declares: "It is called... _an ambush_." And Mas immediately kicks Adonis in the shins.

-Jericho makes Private Hive punch himself in the face.

-I don't know why, but seeing DDD's car get chopped in half is hilarious.

-Freaking Mas, man. I love this kid. He frees his brother (who immediately says he needs some hot chocolate) then they run over to the computer. "How does it work?" "No idea. More complicated than the Space Shuttle." So they just start hitting buttons at random, because they are small and determined children.

-General Immortus leads a charging army, and Aqualad's just like, "Forget that, I can make floods. Bye."

-Cyborg, calmly holding Control Freak, about to punch him in the face, right after Jinx switches sides: "Well, that was unexpected."

-I'm pretty sure Kid Flash is dropping literally everyone onto the freezey-thing. And the twins have basically found their new personal hero. "Ooh, es rapido!"

-"Dudes, check it out! Hahaha... Brain freeze!" AND THE CROWD GOES WILD WITH DISMAY.

-This last scene is hilarious. First we get literally all the Titans just kinda chillin' in the Tower, then we see Doctor Light- _because of course it ends with Doctor Light-_ then we get this. "Maybe we oughta show him who he's up against!" "He's totally gonna freak this time." And we see like a hundred Titans, hovering in the air and on tops of buildings, just waiting to take him out. He doesn't even see them. _But he's about to._ I love it.

[]

(I don't know why this took a month. I have no logical, sensible, earthly _idea_ why this took so long. I mean, you can always blame school getting busier and stuff, but... that sounds like a weak excuse even to me. Guys, I'm really, really sorry that I took so much time, especially since we're so close to the end! I hope you're still excited for the last few updates. I think it'll be a pretty good time.)

Next up: '**Things Change**'. I am so freaking excited to find out what the heck happens here. I mean, multiple people have told me that they love and hate this one. And... it's kind of the official ending. So yeah, this is pretty neat.

You guys are the best! Hope you're still having fun with this project. I'm gonna try my best to cut down on the wait time.

Later, dorks!


	68. Things Change

Season 5, Episode 13

**Gone  
**

[]

Robin sees him during the fight.

They can't stop the creature on their own. It's fast, not just in its movements but in its thinking; by the time Robin has scrambled to think of a strategy, it's already switched to another substance. Water, concrete, steel, sand, dirt, gravel. Too quickly to ever get a real plan going. On top of that, hours have passed since the beginning of the chase- he himself is running out of weaponry on his belt, and the other Titans seem exhausted.

So it's a relief when Beast Boy finally comes back. He screams through the tunnel in some kind of bird morph, switching to a gorilla when he crashes into the monster, and soon chunks of granite and mortar are littering the ground in the sewer caverns.

The monster changes form. Beast Boy keeps up.

A creature made of dark and opaque sludge-water rises up, just before its entire frame is jolted by the shocks of an electric eel. Metal is next, something in the rails and platforms of the underground system, and an iron monstrosity takes a few swings at the Titans before the horns of a full-grown ram collide with its left leg.

And Robin charges back into the fray with a new hope, because the enemy that can't be read or analyzed has met the only hero more unpredictable than itself.

Beast Boy can't take him down on his own, but his constant shifting keeps the monster on the defensive to the point that the other Titans are able to corral it closer and closer to the grate leading further into the sewers. It flips between metals and minerals, water and mud, but every time, Beast Boy's able to counter the decision with something that rattles the creature until a starbolt or a sonic blast knocks it back.

At one point, Robin tosses two controlled-blast bombs while Raven uses her powers to pin the monster's stone feet in place. Just before the blast causes it to collapse backwards, he sees the other three Titans jump back safely out of range-

Beast Boy isn't smiling. He hasn't said a word the entire fight, Robin realizes, only staring ahead and scanning the fight with steely precision, perfectly timing his attacks. No taunts, no jokes, no overdramatic yelling while dodging a close call.

Finally, the enemy slams into the grate, hissing with anger as it gives in- it takes the only route left, turning to water and sifting through the bars to avoid one last salvo of attacks. Robin stares at the river of sewer water flowing through the exit, already trying to calm down from the adrenaline of battle. The creature might come back. It might not. For now, though, the fight is over.

...

No jeering, overexcited yell of victory. No encouraging jab at Raven to lighten up. In fact, when they exit the sewers, Beast Boy is the first one to take off, back to the Tower.

[]

Starfire sees him when they return.

The past comes back to her, because he wasn't just the one to keep his bright and cheerful spirit while the world was under attack- he was the first one to fight back. He rallied the Titans no one else expected to succeed, and even with the weight of the Brotherhood on his shoulders, and the memory of all his battles with the Doom Patrol, he held onto the hope that he could change things.

Now, he's... different. Not hopeless and despondent, but something she hasn't seen before.

The Tower itself is the same as it's always been. Even after everything, there's still the couch that Cyborg argues is just a _little_ too close to the TV, there's still the fridge that never really gets cleaned out, and there's still the great window overlooking the city. They haven't been back from Paris for too long, but she's already been falling back into the familiar rhythms of Jump, going to the park and the busiest stores and visiting the most exciting avenues and districts.

Not him, though. Once in a while, though, she catches him staring out at the city skyline, with a frown on his face as if he's looking at a problem he can't solve.

She doesn't ask, and she's not sure why. There's just... a feeling, like it's not her place. Instead, she tries to help him find new things to be excited about. Restaurants and hangouts to replace the ones that seem to have vanished while they weren't looking. At first, he doesn't respond at all, but over time, he starts to open up a little more- even laughing again, when she tries ordering coffee for the first time and gets all the terms wrong.

And it's there, sitting at a random booth with a caramel frappe in his hand, that he blinks, and swallows, and finally says what's been haunting him.

Starfire isn't the first one he tells.

[]

Cyborg sees him in the main room.

It was their domain, once. Their realm of video games and junk food- a simple couch became a throne, and pizza with kung-fu movies was a grand feast while jesters danced. Now, though, even though he rarely leaves the Tower, the room doesn't seem to give him any joy. Cyborg tries to strike up a conversation once in a while, but Beast Boy shrugs and mutters a noncommittal answer, like he's hoping to be left alone.

Understandable. But Cyborg never claimed to be the perfect friend.

So he corners him one evening, making sure that the others aren't around to eavesdrop, and asks a single question. "Look, I'll only ask once, an' I won't bug you about it anymore. And you don't gotta answer."

He puts a hand on Beast Boy's shoulder. "Did something happen with Terra? Did you find her?"

Beast Boy tenses up like he's just been slapped, and shakily steps away- but Cyborg kind of expected that. And when the kid leans against the wall, hands in his hair like he's trying to hold himself together, Cyborg just stays with him, mumbling a few generic things like 'It's okay' and 'You're alright, you're alright'.

Soon, he's crying. Cyborg would have to be the worst kind of jerk to demand any answers out of him _now_, so he just does his best to comfort his friend. He hugs him when it seems right, and lets go when Beast Boy starts talking.

[]

"Do you think about death?"

Raven sees him at night. She was having trouble sleeping, and stepped out into the hallway to find Beast Boy, sitting at the base of the wall outside his own door. Instead of saying anything, she simply sat down near the opposite wall, enjoying the silence and near-darkness. Eventually, the quiet question is raised, and she looks at him in surprise. "What?"

"Just wondering." He lifts his shoulders aimlessly. "I know there's a lotta... dark stuff. That, uh, the rest of us don't really think about so much."

Not particularly eloquent, but yeah, that sounds about right. Then he tilts his head to look at her. "Is death part of that?"

She takes her time before answering. "Death's kinda complicated for someone like me." She doesn't elaborate, and she's particularly impressed that he doesn't ask for more details. Instead, his head falls back against the wall, and he's looking slightly upwards at nothing. She coughs. "Why?"

"I dunno." Beast Boy's quiet for another couple minutes. The script is reversed, now, and she's the one who actually wants to ask him for more information- but eventually, he begins again. "I found Terra."

"...Uh, I know. You couldn't stop talking about her."

"No, I mean after that." Beast Boy wraps his arms around his knees in front of him, like he's trying to curl in on himself. "I actually talked to her. And she..." His voice trails off for a moment. "She left."

Raven almost says something, almost asks him to say what he means.

"After everything that happened with Slade, I guess-" He sniffs roughly and drags his hand across his eyes. "-I thought I was... over it, or something?"

_But I'm not._

It's unspoken, but Raven hears it as clearly as a scream.

"But it doesn't matter." Beast Boy still isn't looking at her. "That's not the point," he says, and it's like he's trying to convince himself. "What matters is, she leaves, and I don't go after her. She leaves."

...He's trying to figure it out. She suddenly realizes that whatever he's thinking, whatever he's trying to work through right now, it's going to change the way he looks at the world. Maybe- as loathe as she is to even consider the idea- he's growing up?

She dismisses the thought. This isn't the time for immature jabs. "You knew she wasn't going to be around forever," she says quietly. "Right? Or at least, she wasn't going to stay the way she was."

"No, I get that." Beast Boy shakes his head with a scowl. "I do. Things are different, and- I get it. It's cool. Everything changes. But-" He's not trembling, but he looks like he's about to start. "Stuff isn't just _gone_. Like, it's here, and then it's lost forever; it shouldn't _be _like that. It shouldn't-"

He cuts himself off, then takes in a deep breath. "Raven, what's gonna happen if one of us dies?"

"...What?"

Then words are spilling out, like he can't stop, or like he's afraid to. "I don't want to lose anything," he chokes out. "This place, my friends, anything. The- the city, we were- you _saw_ it, when we went out there, we were trying to find all the places we used to love, and they just weren't _there_ anymore, and I don't know how to- how do you-"

It dissolves, an ugly sound that's halfway to crying. Raven shivers.

How, indeed?

_Fire and blood in the sky, with red eyes bearing down._

The fear of losing everything...

It's then, watching him while he can't even raise his eyes up, that Raven thinks just how much they've been through. The beginning of the team. Losing the Tower to the HIVE. Robin and Cyborg nearly splitting the group completely. Red X, and Slade, and Terra, and the new Titans, and Trigon, and the Brotherhood...

And the Beast.

He lifts his head up, just for a second. Probably about to ask something. Then something catches in his look, and he ducks down again, like he's retreating from the world. A memory jumps to her mind: another time Beast Boy was scared, and didn't know what to do. Another time they talked in whispers about the stuff of nightmares.

Empath. Someone who knows what others are feeling, and...

She hesitates.

...Someone who knows what it's like.

"Beast Boy, listen." She's about to make a judgment call, but it's alright. She knows it's the right thing to do. Probably. "You absolutely cannot tell any of our friends that I told you this, alright? Under any circumstances."

He's silent, now, and she knows she has his attention.

"Do you remember when I had to go into Robin's mind?"

It's almost definitely unintentional, but his ears twitch. As if he can sense that this is something more than a simple word of advice. Again, she has to wonder if this is a mistake- but he's hurting, and grasping for any answer he can find. If she has to spill secrets for once in her life, she can at least know it's for a good cause.

She's always been the quiet one. She's reserved, dodging attention whenever she can, and the others have seen that. At different times, they've told her the things that scare them; the things they don't know how to tell anyone else. Never presented as a guard-it-with-your-life secret, but always with a certain level of reverence.

"It wasn't just Slade," she says softly. "I had to find the part of his memory that was hurting him, but... there was more than that. I saw parts of his past. Things that-" A flicker of a vision. She pauses. "I'm still not sure I understand."

Once again, Beast Boy doesn't say anything.

"And there was one that I almost couldn't watch. He was so _scared_, more than he'd ever been in his life, and I could feel it." Her hand tenses up on the floor. "It was when we tried to rescue him from Slade, and he had to see us..."

She leaves the words there. No point saying what they both remember so clearly- all of them, robots in their blood and an inch away from death, falling to the ground as Robin could only stand and watch. "There are so few things he's truly afraid of, you know? But he's terrified of losing us."

Raven waits a moment before continuing. "He's not as fearless as you think."

"...Yeah?"

Turning, Raven leans her head against the wall and gazes to the ceiling. "Yeah," she says. "And it's the same with everyone. You know how Starfire went to the future? She literally saw the entire team fall apart." It was so strange, listening to the story- hearing Starfire's joyful, upbeat voice describing a ruined city and a hopeless, tragic vision in hushed tones.

Maybe, she thinks, Starfire knows this fear better than any of them.

And she has to smile, because now she's thinking of another conversation, seeing Cyborg proud and excited and worried all at once- hearing that Aqualad's been constructing a dam and levee system so Steel City doesn't flood every time there's a bad storm. That Bumblebee is working with the city government to reform the prison system, trying to find ways to make sure villains don't just break out every time they're thrown behind bars. And the twins, saving people from collapsing buildings, stopping disasters before they can become tragedies.

But he said it with a strange sense of loss, because he couldn't be there with them, couldn't see them as often as he'd like, couldn't share their victories and help them through the darker times. Loss, because he trained a new team from scratch, then saw them hypnotized and ruthless as they fought against him- then, even after everything was saved, he had to let them go for real.

Even with the warning she gave, she decides to leave this story for him. "Ask Cyborg how the East team's doing sometime," she says with a small smile. And then-

Beast Boy looks up.

She can feel it, in her heart and the deepest recesses of her mind; it's about people, and memories, and growing up, and facing the future as it's all slowly lost. Moments you can't hold onto. Moving on. Living.

And Terra's at the center of it all. The Titans are at the center of it all. Jump City, and Raven herself, and Beast Boy.

Other people's stories won't be enough.

She senses it before he asks it: "What about you?"

There's a moment where she considers deflecting the question, or giving him a weak answer that he isn't looking for. Then, she sighs. "The end of the world," she says quietly. "I thought everyone was doomed. And I thought it was my fault."

She waits until he's looking at her. "Beast Boy, this is... this isn't easy. It won't make sense. It won't feel better. And you're right- we might die."

This time, he doesn't flinch. Almost like he was expecting it. "But we get it," Raven says. "We've lived it. You don't have to feel like you're alone."

Beast Boy looks down, and the darkness seems to settle over him. "I mean, yeah..." He spreads out his hands, looking helpless. "You know what it's like, and that's... great, but- but that's not the answer, you know?"

"...I think maybe it is." Raven says the words before she knows exactly what they mean. And she wants to explain more, wants to tell him that they'll face the unknown together, that they'll grow up and learn and _live_, but suddenly she doesn't know how to say it.

And that's alright.

Because Beast Boy is breathing steadily for the first time all night, and he looks tired, but calm. Because her mind is full of memories, of defeating villains and saving worlds and keeping the city from falling apart, and instead of being afraid of the future, she's talking someone else through that fear to the other side.

When they finally leave, when they try to get some sleep as the sun's just starting to rise, she thinks over the conversation as she walks through the halls. Against herself, her mind wanders to grand ideas.

'Teen Titans'. She's always wondered about the second word, but... 'Teen'. They're all young. Scared, sometimes. Trying their best to figure things out. Learning how to live.

Just before she falls asleep, she wonders if that's the real reason they need each other.

[]

[]

[]

I don't know if this episode is objectively good or not. I know there's a lot of controversy about ending on cliffhangers, and the decision to include Terra, and other stuff like that- and I can't really judge that. All I can offer is my own opinion.

...This is one of my favorite episodes of the entire show.

Guys, this one couldn't be more different from the last episode. Instead of a focus on action and jokes, we get... a lot of quiet moments, honestly. Shots that simply linger for a while. And, in my opinion, a thoughtful look at a really complicated idea.

So, Terra. Unfortunately, I'd already heard somewhere that she was going to appear in this episode, so it wasn't a big crazy surprise. Even so, seeing her appear in the crowd for the first time, in normal school clothes... it's pretty surreal. As the Titans themselves point out: "Last time we saw her, she wasn't exactly one of the good guys. Maybe she didn't want to be found."

And you all know she's kinda one of my favorite characters. So yeah, from the get-go, this was a powerful story in my book. But the really incredible thing about Terra in this episode is _the effect she has on Beast Boy_. As soon as there's even a chance that she might be back, Beast Boy starts to _obsess_ over finding her. He ditches the team to go visit the statue, talking to her as he's walking (as if he talks to her often), then discovers it's gone. She's gone.

This is where it gets interesting.

I think this part of the episode in particular is fantastic. Not only are the other Titans hesitating and asking if he _really_ saw her, but they're also thinking it wouldn't be an entirely good thing even if she did come back. And on top of that, Beast Boy's making it clear that Terra is 'all that matters', instead of these questions and worries and logic. It quickly leads to him ignoring his friends' advice and even disobeying Robin's orders (while a _fantastic_ score plays, by the way, it's haunting as anything I've ever heard), all in a vain attempt to save this idea he has in his head, of Terra back when everything was perfect.

It doesn't work. And I really, truly think that's the whole point of this finale.

The opening scene shows this pretty well. It might be a little too obvious, but still powerful; the Titans are finally back in Jump City, but everything's... quiet. They're seeing that everything's different. Things have moved on without them. And in the middle of that idea, of 'change' and 'moving on' and the struggle to accept that... Terra. The one thing that can rattle Beast Boy even more than he already has been. The past catching up with him and forcing him to ask himself if he really knows how to move on. That's how I see it, anyway.

Like this: there's a scene where Beast Boy goes back to that diner where they bought pie back in season two, and just kinda... sits there. He gets really hopeful when a blonde girl walks in, but it's not her, and you see the disappointment in his face the whole time. And the music. And the semi-dark lighting. And the camera angles. It's really powerful, and I kind of have the sense that this isn't _healthy_, you know?

And when he finally does get to see her, he's desperately trying to convince her to talk to him, just for a little while, over pizza like old times. He even says maybe he can make her laugh again. That's... it's something special. But at the same time, it hurts to see how badly he wants everything to be back to 'normal'. He's so hopeful, he doesn't register when she says things like 'I'm not Terra'.

We can see it from the beginning. We have a bird's-eye view, seeing the episode as a whole: the city's different. The usual haunts are gone. Their lives aren't the way they used to be. So when Terra shows up- not just that, but _in this specific episode_\- we know it's not going to end with a big happy reunion. There's something different going on.

Look at the villain, for example. First of all, he's awesome- turns into the materials he touches, Kabuki mask and everything, almost looks like a Miyazaki character. (At one point, he turns into oil right when Robin hits him with the staff, and he swirls up around the weapon in this really creepy way.) But the Titans are fighting him literally the entire time. They don't win. Why would the show end like this? No one gets what they want: Beast Boy doesn't convince Terra to come back, the Titans' plan doesn't work, and they can't even defeat the monster. Why?

Because it's not about that, this time. It's about endings. And this episode does a really amazing job of connecting Terra to the show as a whole, and facing the idea of losing something you love. At one point, Beast Boy's telling her about _herself_, trying to remind her of everything she's done- there's a bunch of pictures going by, with all the moments she spent with the Titans. And it kind of feels like a snapshot of the show: this giant, amazing, wonderful experience that you want to hold onto, but you can't. You have to find a way to accept that it's ending and move on.

Beast Boy tries _so hard_ to get her back. He tries to bring back her memories, of skipping rocks on the beach and hanging out in the Tower, and even straight-up throws mud in her face at one point. And it couldn't backfire more badly- we have to watch Terra running away from him _again_. As if it wasn't painful enough the first time. And just to complete the nostalgia, Beast Boy actually goes back to the fairgrounds and the hall of mirrors (more on that in a bit).

But none of it works, really. He can't make things go back to the way they were. In my opinion, that's powerful.

I'll be honest, a few things don't work too well, I don't think. There are some scenes where the jump to chibi animation and silly faces is a little too abrupt. For example, there's a very awkward bit where, right after he hits her with the mud, it shows him reacting in shock with the little lines around his head and the bright background and everything. Problem is, the music doesn't change, so there's no real moment to laugh, if that was the intent.

More importantly, and I hate to say this, but... I didn't really like the part with Slade. I know he was just a robot (shocker), but still, it seemed kind of random. I don't know why he would want to mess with Beast Boy's head, or why he would try to attack him at all. I guess that's more of a question than a gripe, actually. (Don't get me wrong, it's always cool to see him again.)

But he does say something I absolutely love.

"She no longer wants to remember you."

This sense B into a _rage._ We're talking shattering mirrors as a bear, chasing Slade down as a T-Rex, going completely crazy. And I have to wonder why. What about that statement gets to him so much? Well, once again, this is just my opinion, but I think Beast Boy is terrified of moving on. I think he's scared of everything changing from the way it used to be- when they were heroes, loved and adored by everyone, but _especially by Terra_. And if he can't count on his friends staying with him, or even wanting to remember him... what does he really have? From his perspective, maybe he's afraid he doesn't have anything else.

Wouldn't that make sense with the ending? Terra DOES remember, at least partly, and she just... doesn't come back. There's no official explanation why. There's no victorious fight scene. There's no clear indication that Beast Boy gets over her.

"Why can't things just go back to the way they were? You were so happy then." I can't think of ANY other animated show that would breach a question like this, let alone have the nerve to _not answer it_. Isn't that incredible? That this episode asked a difficult, confusing question and doesn't give a clear answer? The more I think about it, the more I really love that decision. Especially given the fact that a LOT of people were probably disappointed and angry that this show wasn't renewed for more seasons.

In other words, I don't think the point is that Beast Boy got a special and emotional moment with Terra. I think the point is that he let her go.

They could have just added more jokes and fights, you know? Or they could have tried to make the ending really happy. Instead, they did something really risky- they asked questions, and left some loose ends, and explored some ideas, and dared to make the end of the show a little bit haunting.

I know this isn't the TRUE end, with the movie and all, but there's something very special about a finale that specifically asks you if you know how to let go.

The last line is simply, "Beast Boy to Robin. I'm on my way. Over."

And, personally, I think that's perfect.

[]

**Jokes: **"I remember a toy shop. Or... maybe it was a barbershop. I distinctly remember it was some kind of shop."

-"Why does it always have to be the sewer?" That's a good freaking question, Cyborg.

-"Geeuugh. Next time a creature goes down the sewer, I say we just let it go." Again, that's a good point, Cyborg.

-There's a fantastic moment where, after Beast Boy asks for a piece of pie to go, the waitress turns away and mumbles while she walks, "_Well you must be in a hurry then or somethin', can't even siddown for a slice of pie..." _Her delivery is hilarious, I don't know why.

-"Brain freeze. That's funny." "FINALLY, SOMEONE GETS MY JOKE!"

-Beast Boy has his hand on Terra's shoulder, and suddenly her school-uniform buddies guillotine together so his arm is stuck there, and also in intense pain.

-I don't really know how to describe this one. Beast Boy did a thumbs-up pose, but... it went all the way to space?

-The Titans chase the monster into another room of the museum. They find a hall of statues, making him basically impossible to find. No one is happy with this.

[]

(Once again, I need to apologize for taking so long. College has been a wild ride in general, but even more so now that I'm about to graduate. Add a job search and 'where are you going to live' on top of that, and suddenly April gets a LOT busier, you know?)

Next up: **Season recap**. After that, I'll hit the lost episode, then we'll finally get to the movie.

If you're reading this, you rock. Your friends rock. Your family rocks. Your dog's pretty cool, too.

Later, dorks!


	69. RECAP SEASON 5

First, there was...

**Season 1: There Sure Are a Lot of Masks Around Here**

Then, you saw...

**Season 2: Small-Town Girl Moves to the Big City, Ruins Everything  
**

Next, you experienced...

**Season 3: Now With 85% More Sassy Teens  
**

And finally...

**Season 4: Good Times and Growing Up with Friends (Satanic Apocalypse Edition)**

But nothing can prepare you for...

...

...

...

**Season 5: ULTIMATE X-TREME TEENAGE ROAD TRIP OF DOOM**

**HERE WE GO**

Season 5, Episode 1: '**Homecoming, pt. 1**'- Beast Boy and his old girlfriend didn't exactly break up on a good note, so it's more than a little uncomfortable when they end up meeting his _new_ girlfriend. Now replace 'girlfriend' with 'squad of lovable superhero buddies' and you get a sense of how awkward this scenario is.

5-2: '**Homecoming, pt. 2**'- ...Oh. _Oh. _'Doom' Patrol. Because they're literally planning a suicide mission. Geez, I _just_ got that.

5-3: '**Trust**'- "Let's see, where to begin my crime fighting career as a fire-based superhero? How 'bout... the Moroccan oil fields. Yes, that's perfect. Can't go wrong."

5-4: '**For Real'**\- Control Freak and the Titans East square off in the ultimate showdown. Meanwhile, the citizens of Jump City look from one to the other and hesitantly say, "I'm sorry, who?"

5-5: '**Snowblind**"- Humans, aliens, scientifically-altered beings with the capacity to kill everyone in a nuclear explosion... _everyone_ can bond over soup. Doesn't matter who you are.

5-6: '**Kole'**\- Doctor Light has a rough day.

5-7: '**Hide and Seek'- **BOBBY DOES NOT MESS AROUND.

5-8: '**Lightspeed**'- If he's ever trading weird relationship stories, Kid Flash can just casually say, "My girlfriend shot me with a taser once."

5-9: '**Revved Up**'- Plot twist: there's nothing inside. Robin just really likes the mysterious glowy briefcase from _Pulp Fiction_.

5-10: '**Go**'- You know, out of context, you could totally say that when Robin met Starfire for the first time, she was destroying a building with dozens of innocent people inside. Then he attacked her with deadly weapons, and she kissed him, and, well, the rest is history. Crazy kids.

5-11: '**Calling All Titans**'- Dozens and dozens of heroes, old and new, rise up all around the world to join the Titans before the ultimate battle. And then everyone loses, like, immediately.

5-12: '**Titans Together**'- The long-awaited supergroup team-up of Bass Boot, Nacho Libre, Small Worried Guatemalan Child, Louis Armstrong, and Super Hippie finally comes together. The Brotherhood of Evil never stood a chance.

5-13: '**Things Change**'- Terra fades into the darkness and out of Beast Boy's life while mumbling something about a math test, thus confirming that the greatest evil in the Teen Titans universe is, of course, fourth period geometry. Figures.

[]

Alternates: '**For Real**'- "Hey, Titans, I'm gonna come right out and admit it- I'm actually your biggest fan! Also, I'm going to kill everyone in your city. But really, love your work, keep it up."

'**Go**'- Man, finally. I've been waiting this whole time to see Cyborg to take off his shirt. WAIT, WHOA, THAT DID NOT COME OUT RIGHT.

[]

If you're reading this, thanks. A month of silence isn't a small, easily-forgivable gap of time, so I really appreciate it. But finals are done, I know where I'm living for the near future, and some good things are falling into place. Hopefully, this translates to 'more writing time'. We'll see.

Update for the lost episode is already partially done. Boy, it's... it's a weird one. And after that, grand finale.

Later, dorks!


	70. The Lost Episode

Season _ Episode _

**Heart and Soul  
**

[]

It worked.

...

_It worked._

Beast Boy blinked a few times, then let out a shriek of glee. "I did it! For real, I did it!" Punk Rocket had collapsed onstage, already bound up with a coil from Robin's utility belt. The smoking, sparking loudspeakers lined up above them were evidence of the battle's end- Beast Boy had aggravated the villain into turning up the power to an impossible level, higher than the electronics could handle.

Without his signature sound, he was beaten. All that was left was to cart him off to jail.

And more importantly, to gloat.

"You guys were bein' all high and mighty," he said with a grin, still facing the stage. Robin tied Rocket's hands behind his back with makeshift cuffs, and he seemed to be ignoring the jabs. "You made such a big deal about me playing my music too loud, but it turns out I was practicing the elite and highly-specialized crime-fighting techniques I'd need out in the field!"

"You tried to power a stereo with the electricity of an entire building."

"And it _worked_." He faltered only somewhat when he registered Raven's words. "Well, not then. But now, I mean. It worked now." He frowned, looking back up at the destroyed speakers. "I- it's not- if the plan was to _not_ work, then... it worked because it didn't-" With a sigh, he held up his hand. "Lemme start over."

"We get it, Beast Boy," said Robin. With the criminal completely subdued, he moved to the edge of the stage. "You can stop."

"Can, but I won't!" he said cheerfully. Just for added effect, he mimed a few karate kicks at nothing. "I wanna make sure everyone's clear- this time, I saved the day, and you guys were wrong! Who's that hero who figured out how to stop the bad guy? Why, I believe it's me."

"Hey, Mr. Hero," Cyborg interrupted. "Mind lookin' over here a sec?"

"Huh?" Still basking in victory, Beast Boy turned away from the stage.

Then, a second or two passed. Then, he screamed.

"Whoa, Beast Boy!" Alarmed, Cyborg tried to raise one of his hands. "Calm down, dude!"

"CALM DOWN?! You're in pieces! Like- several different pieces! You-" He scrambled to find the right word, almost hopping in place with nervous energy. "You _broke!_"

From the spot on the auditorium floor where his head and torso had fallen, Cyborg frowned. "Don't... don't freak out, man. I've done this before." As best he could, he looked over to the others. "Right? I'm pretty sure."

Raven nodded. "Yeah, you've done this before."

"_Why are you guys not freaked out about this?" _Beast Boy seethed, now grabbing at his hair and frantically switching from one foot to the other. "How did it happen?!"

A few yards away from his body, one of Cyborg's arms adjusted itself and pointed up to the stage. "What, weren't you watching?" Cyborg asked. "The sound stuff was obviously messin' with my circuits, an' then you went an' mouthed off to Guitar Guy, and..." His hand waved vaguely. "There were sparks goin' off. It was a whole- whole thing. Big thing."

Beast Boy gaped. "Wait... so this is my fault?"

Cyborg's offhanded '_Pretty much, but for real, it's not that big of a-'_ was loudly interrupted. "Now, don't go an' steal my thunder, you music-hatin' git!" Punk Rocket, still tied up in cables, was valiantly trying to slither towards the edge of the stage. "My show's what blasted your friend there inta junk metal!"

After shooting a withering look his way, Cyborg turned back to Beast Boy. "Look, I'm half-robot, _and _I'm an engineering genius," he said patiently. "I think I'll be fine."

"Uh... right," Beast Boy said. He awkwardly scratched the back of his head. "Still, I'm... uh, sorry for accidentally breaking all your limbs and stuff."

Raven knelt down, so she was closer to Cyborg's level. "Speaking of that- do you want us to try to help put everything back together? Or should we just bring you to the Tower?"

"Tower, I think. It'll be easier if I have my tools and workspace an' all."

"Starfire, can you fly all the pieces back?" Robin asked, casually trapping Punk Rocket with a foot on his back before he could get too far.

"But we brought the T-Car, did we not?"

"Oh, right. Yeah, that'll be easy."

Still trying to calm down, Beast Boy shook his head in bewilderment. He'd accidentally shattered Cyborg, and everyone was acting... really chill about the whole thing? Yeah, that was it. That was the part that really threw him. Play music too loud in the Tower, garner everyone's fury and indignation. Indirectly separate Cyborg's arms from his body... get a shrug and a 'hey, nobody's perfect'.

"Oi! Leggo, you tosser!" Punk Rocket yelped, now being unceremoniously pulled toward the rest of the group by Robin.

"Hold still," Raven said. As the Titans started moving out of the auditorium, she levitated Cyborg's arms behind them. "There'll be plenty of time for name-calling when you're in jail."

Following along, Beast Boy decided to chime in. "Haha, yeah! And what's with the insults? Like, between you and that Mod dude- what's the deal with you bad guys being so..." Thinking, he pointed towards Rocket. "-aggressively British?"

Robin shook his head, still pulling the villain behind him. "Don't be racist," he said absently.

He scowled. "Oh, come on! That wasn't racist!" Turning back to Rocket, he added, "I just really hate everything about the way you talk."

"...Okay, _that_ was definitely racist."

"_Ugh_." Raven shouldered her way through the group, grabbing Rocket's shoulder and shoving him ahead of her to the exit. "The police are already here. Let's just hand him over and be done with it."

Struggling, Rocket yelled back, "You posers don't have the spirit of rock 'n roll! I'm the real deal! You're just a cover band!"

Even now, he had nothing but music jokes. That is, Beast Boy thought, if he even _was_ joking. Maybe music terms were the only way he could think of anything to say at all.

...He had an idea.

"Hold up, Rae."

He took a few purposeful strides forward, then jabbed a finger in Rocket's face. "Look, I know rock music. I know _loud_ music, too, and that's all you are, man. You're loud, and you play loud."

The annoyed sneer in front of him was about to change to a mocking retort, but Beast Boy didn't give him time. "Look, you ever stop to think what rock 'n roll's really about? It's not just crashing somebody else's party, or else anyone could do it. Real rockers don't just do whatever they want, and yell real loud, and get mad at people. That's toddlers. You're thinking of toddlers."

He threw his hand back, pointing to the grand stage in the front of the area. "You didn't ruin that concert because electric guitars are better than classical stuff. You did it because you were mad no one was paying attention to your music. And because you think trashing something good is the same as making something for yourself. That's not the 'spirit of rock 'n roll'. That's being an actual baby."

The other Titans were completely silent, but he barely noticed. "It's got nothing to do with breaking things, man. You'll never really _get _rock unless you stop freaking out about everyone else's music, and figure out _yours_." Caught up in the moment, Beast Boy thumped his chest dramatically. "Rock's in here, dude. You gotta know what it means for you. If you don't, you'll never be a real rocker."

The auditorium echoed for a moment. Everyone's eyes were on him, so focused that they hardly noticed when a couple of police officers entered and took Punk Rocket away. Eventually, even those footsteps faded, and Cyborg blinked up at him from the ground. "That... wasn't what I expected," he said slowly. "You been carryin' that speech around for a while?"

"What? No. I just really like music." The stares were getting to be uncomfortable, and he frowned at the other Titans. "_What?"_

Finally, Robin shrugged. "Nothing, I guess. Just... good job."

"Your words were most inspiring!" Starfire said cheerfully. "I feel as if I myself want to learn the 'rock music'!"

"That'd be something," Raven remarked. When Beast Boy turned to her, she narrowed her eyes. "...But you did stop Rocket," she said. "And we shouldn't have assumed you couldn't." Before he could respond, she started moving, making her way out of the room. "Don't let it go to your head."

"Huh." As the others were walking away, Beast Boy frowned to himself. "...Yeah. _Yeah._" Looking up with determination, he said it again. "Yeah! I did it, didn't I? I saved the day!" He scampered to the front of the group, just before anyone had reached the glass doors. "And it was awesome!"

"I shouldn't have said anything."

Ignoring Raven's comment, he threw up both fists with the universal 'rock' sign. "And you know what else?" he said brightly. "We should go get some pizza! _Yeah!_" Still grinning, he walked backwards through the doors and onto the sidewalk, where-

-he promptly tripped over a short stairway leading to the entrance.

He immediately got back to his feet, brushing off his knees and fixing the Titans with a glare. Robin sighed. "Let me guess: you meant to-"

"I _meant_ to do that!"

[]

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How does one describe Punk Rocket?

Man, I don't know. I'm going back and forth between thinking he's a really boring, silly character, and thinking he's actually funny. I mean, his big crime is interrupting a concert. And sort of vaguely playing loud music at people. That's pretty great on its own.

And the way the episode's set up is also pretty bizarre. For starters, it's literally called 'The Lost Episode'. In the title card and everything. And it couldn't be simpler: The Titans are sitting around playing video games and reading and stuff, then a bad guy shows up. They fight him, lose for a while, then Beast Boy has an idea and they win. Then they go back to sitting around. For some reason, I found that really funny.

I mean, it's not really _bad_, so I don't know why they wouldn't make a full episode out of it. But I also kinda feel like it didn't need to exist. Nothing really seems to happen? I'm genuinely curious: is there a reason this was made at all?

But I have to admit that there are really humorous/action-y moments. Beast Boy carrying around an actual boombox like it's 1989. Cyborg and Rocket fighting with giant beams of sound. A great bit before Beast Boy wrecks the power, where we see the plug getting closer and closer to the wall of the Tower, while also cutting to scenes of the other four Titans doing their own thing peacefully, and you just _know_ it's all about to be destroyed.

Also, my favorite part of the plot: Beast Boy's plan. He sees Cyborg getting hurt by the sound, and it's messing up his circuitry and all. So he figures, if Rocket plays even _louder_, he'll eventually blow out all the speakers and have nothing to fight with. That's great, but what we see is this: Beast Boy sees Cyborg in awful, agonizing pain, then looking over to Rocket's guitar and smiling. Like he's thinking, "If Cyborg's hurting now, he's going to be absolutely _destroyed_ in a few seconds."

(I know that obviously isn't what he was thinking, but still, I found it a really funny moment.)

Also, Beast Boy withstood the crazy-loud noise because of all his earwax. So, you know. We have that little tidbit of knowledge in our lives now. I've seen a visual representation of Beast Boy's earwax. I don't think I needed that.

This analysis is awfully short, but hey, it's a short episode.

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**Jokes for Days: **Starfire casually making a giant boiling pot of something purple. It's mostly overflowing and dripping away. She doesn't appear to notice.

-Yelling British characters. Always a treat. Kind of a less-sophisticated Gordon Ramsay thing goin' on. Can't you picture him screaming, "_Rubbish__!_"

-Literally everything he says is a music pun. It's bad. Just so many music puns. I'm sure you can find a list somewhere.

-GRANDMA WHO FLOATS AWAY WITH AN UMBRELLA MARY-POPPINS STYLE. YOU WERE ONLY IN THE BACKGROUND, BUT DON'T WORRY, I SAW YOU. REAL MVP.

-Starfire: "Music is a glorious expression that is supposed to make people feel happy!" Raven: "You obviously haven't heard any of my music."

-PR stares at the busted speakers for a while, then fiddles with his guitar for a few seconds- and gets a tinny acoustic noise. Then, suddenly, he bursts into tears.

-Last scene: B comes in with another boombox, dramatically announcing that they should listen to him instead of getting mad at him (since he saved the day). He gets no reaction at all, so he finger-guns and smirks his way out of the room. Cut to the other four pulling out earplugs: "Did he say somethin'?"

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Next up: **'Trouble In Tokyo'**. This is it, guys. The big one, as well as the finale. It's been quite a ride, and we're almost there. (Or, more accurately, you guys are already there- I'm just finally catching up.)

Anyway, I'll see you on the other side.

Later, dorks!


End file.

Teen Titans, Drama, Friendship