Naruto 1. What a mess Literally

You know the phrase "don't cry over spilled milk?" Yeah, I usually agree with it too, because it's something insignificant, so why bother, right? I mean, when life gives you lemons make lemon aid. Just clean it up and get on with life, ne? Well, not quite. I spilled my milk, and I swear to god I was about to sob. You know why? Because I spilled my milk on a certain some one, a certain hot some one, who happens to obtain the last name of Uchiha. So in actuality the phrase should be "try your hardest not to cry over spilled milk on an Uchiha, other wise you will be mortally embarrassed and won't ever be able to see the light of day again." That's what it should be. But, c'est la vie, Sakura. You can't win, so why bother? And you dearest reader, would you like to know how this catastrophe befell me?

Lunch time:

Ino's favorite period in school. I'll give her props for it though, this is when she works her hardest, and when I say works her hardest I mean, gossips like no other and flirts her ass off like there's no tomorrow. That's the only work she'll ever do, when it benefits her. I'm sorry if I'm coming off like a bitch right now, because, don't get me wrong, I f-ing love Ino. She's my bitch as one would say, (and not in the literal term, you perverts, I mean she's my best friend, my bffl, my bestie, my would be lesbian lover. Ha, you get my point.) But she has her quirks.

So, anyway, its lunch time and I'm walking with Hinata, my other really good friend, and we're looking for Ino so we can go eat. Ino however decided to ditch us for Sai, some creepy gaywhad (no offence) who happens to be her boy toy of the moment (I give it a week tops before she gets tired of him). So here I am, all 5 foot 4 of me, my green eyes narrowed threateningly (I hope) and my pink hair swaying slightly in my murderous shivers that my body is emmiting, and there's Ino, with her face latched onto Sai's like they've been super glued together.

Hinata's behind me trembling, poor thing, because it looks like I'm about to decapitate Ino.

That lasted all of 2 minutes when I realized that Ino was not longer afraid of me. (Damn her)

So Hinata and I took off towards the lunch line to get something to eat, even if I didn't have much of an appetite anymore. I went through the line quickly and bought my strawberry milk and a bento, hurrying Hinata along and then Karin come up beside me. She looked at my lunch and said:

"Strawberry milk? What are you, five?"

……………………..

……………………..

……………………..

………………………

……………………..

Should I have even dignified that with a response? I think not! But, apparently I wasn't thinking.

"What are we in, third grade? Karin, once you think up decent insults that are worth my time, then please come back and grace me with your presence."

Ohhh, that felt good. Karin crossed her arms over her chest and gave me one of her glares.

"Bitch, at least my forehead is normal." She said with an evil smirk.

She did not just make fun of my FOREHEAD,

BITCH!

So, thinking that I would just punch her out and be done with it I balled my right fist up (with the tray still in my left hand mind you, forgot about that tray, huh?) and I snuck in a right jab at her face. Hit her square in the cheek I did, I did. Well, she isn't one to give up so easily either, (just another one of her AMAZING qualities) so she aims a punch right at my nose.

In an attempt to dodge her I did a matrix like move, which involved bending my back and twisting my legs to the side, which landed me on an innocent bystander, a.k.a. Naruto. Then there was the issue of my tray. It seemed like all time stopped when I fell. Everyone's head slowly turned, their eyes pealed and anticipating as the tray made its climatic fall from my hands….right…into….the…..lap…of…._Sasuke….Uchiha_. SHIT.

Which brings us back to our present situation from where this story started.

So here I was, onto of Naruto who was grinning like an idiot, with Sasuke, the hot, popular, scary emo kid, in front of me. Today he was wearing our usual school uniform accented with my strawberry milk. Oh, and a mind shreading glare. No, seriously, It looked like he was going to fricking _rip my head off_. It was one of those glares that made you think that the glare giver was staring into your very soul.

"Ah, Uchiha-san! Gomen!" I whispered, quickly standing up, and blushing as my eyes went downcast and began to fill with tears.

"Hn, annoying," he mumbled as a vein popped out of his forehead.

"Haha, way to go forehead!" Ino sneered at me from across the room. Did I mention how amazing Ino was? She pulled herself away from Sai to shout encouraging words to me, really, how did I find such amazing friends? Well, while everyone else was mercilessly feeding off of my embarrassment like wild vampires to blood, Hinata scurried over to me and pulled me through the crowd towards the girl's room.

"S-sakura-chan, are you a-alright?" Hinata asked me timidly.

I nodded my head and wiped my hands with the back of my hand.

"Hehe, I'll be okay. I mean, I'm not in love with him or anything, it was just kind of embarrassing."

I know you must be rolling your eyes at this statement followed by a 'pshyeahh right,' or "Okay," wink, wink, nudge, nudge. Well I say bleh to all of you, 'cause it's true. I think he's hot and all, but I'm not like infatuated with him or anything. Okay that was a partial lie. I like him, but not in a fangirl-ish stalker, be the father of my babies, way. I take pride in my self for just harboring a minor crush that doesn't completely wack out my thought process. Well apparently Hinata was having the same thoughts as you people because she gave me 'the look'.

"Eh, don't give me that look! Fine I like him, but really, I'm fine. It's over and done with."

"O-Okay…just let me know if you need anything-" RING "that's the class bell, I have to go," and so she left me with a meek smile.

"I'm fine, I'm..fine."

1 tear fell.

"He probably forgot about it already…"

2 tears fell.

"Who am I kidding…"

I was devastated, crushed, broken, slightly melodramatic, and kind of pathetic. I mean, seriously.

Who cries over spilled milk?

Apparently the answer to that is Sakura Haruno.

**Hope you like the story! And sorry it's so short. I'll make the next one twice as long, but I will only continue it if i get comments! So please R&R!! **


	2. Things can ALWAYS get much much worse

It felt like I was going to die. No seriously. Okay, that was a partial lie, I felt more like a zombie, the undead, if you will. Kinda like a vampire, but not really, cause I don't feel like a vampire, I just feel numb. I must look like crap too. And this is all because of my lunch fiasco.

Well, if my day hadn't already been peachy enough, the universe decided that my fortunes cards should go to the _wicked witch of the west,_ instead of Glenda, the good witch, so I was pretty much fucked for the rest of the day. (pardon my French.)

If you all remember where you left me the last time I talked to you, it was in the bathroom, with me crying in a stall like a pathetic fan-girl (that I am most deffinatly not) and having a pity party for myself. Cause I can. Deal with it or leave. So to continue, my little one-man-show decided to cry through fifth period, which probably wasn't my best move, being an honor student and all, but hey, I was wallowing damnit, there is no thought process when you wallow. Its just cry, eat unhealy amounts of chocolate, cry, chocolate, rant, cry, cry, curse, do homework for art class, cry, and yeah, that's pretty much the process.

Well after my wallowing was complete, as well as my forever perminate absent mark for my fifth period English class, I decided enough was enough. I was going to go back to school and get the day over with.

Then came Naruto.

"Sakura-chan! Where were you during English class? Sensei had us start this _huuuumungo_ project!"

Headache, such a LARGE headache.

"Eh, Sakura-chan, are you listening to me?"

_No, I'm not. Can't you tell I want to be alone? Gah, you can be so dense!_

That's what I wanted to say anyway.

"Gomen, Naruto-kun, I was feeling slightly under the weather, you noticed I was gone, you must have missed me greatly." I replied so sweetly that gobs of sugar we're practically ozzing out of the words.

Naruto scratched the back of his head and laughed embarrassedly while turning a tomato red. Aww, he thought I was flirting with him. It's so cute when he's bashful and insanely moronic at the same time.

"Dattebayo! Of course I missed you Sakura-chan you're my fa-" Naruto started.

"Hold that thought," I said tersely as I caught his lips between my fingers. I could see Hinata walking towards me from the other side of the hallway.

"You see that girl?" I asked Naruto quietly, as I pointed at Hinata.

He nodded unsurely, his eyes questioning.

"She's Hyuuga-san's younger cousin. Her name's Hinata-chan."

Once again Naruto nodded his head, clearly puzzled at the information I was telling him.

"I hear you're not on the best terms with Hyuuga-san, maybe if you befriended Hinata-chan, he would warm up to you?"

Naruto's eyes began to gleam with excitement.

Little did he know that I was infact playing match maker. Just call me cupid, baby. That and I was toying with his odd fettish with the older Hyuuga. I was quite aware of how protective Neji was of his dear little cousin. This was going to be so much fun to watch when it blew up it Naruto's face. I sincerely wish them the best of luck.

What? I just had a crappy day, okay? Let me screw around with screwless for awhile.

"muhmph mumphu muh muphun moh" Naruto gushed excitedly from between my fingers.

I let go.

"I said, 'Thank's Sakura-chan! That's a great idea! And Hinata-chan's not too bad either! Hehehe."

I waved a dismissive hand.

"Don't mention it, now scoot, she's coming closer. Go work that, er, Naruto charm of yours!"

Hinata smiled when she saw me. I waved at her and then turned my heel.

'I'll let them figure this one out…'

:

Carma's a bitch. I guess god decided to punish me for my evil plan, because when I arrived in history Rock Lee decided to sit next to me, or more correctly, glued to my side. He's _wayyyy_ too touchy-feely for a guy with bushy eyebrows.

This class happened to be with my favorite teacher though, Kakashi-sensei. Yeah, he does have a weird name, doesn't he? Its like the cereal brand Kashi with an extra 'Ka' at the beginning. It's like if Hinata was trying to say the cereal brand name, and vióla! There's his name.

But good 'ol teach wasn't here yet (shocker) so I decided to free my self from deaths clutches and catch up with Ino, (who wasn't attached to any boy at the moment, lucky for me).

"Ino-chan, what did I miss in English?" I asked her boredly, as I sat on her desk.

"Eh, nothing really, just some crappy project on motifs for the book 'Of Mice and Men'. Other than that we had nothing to do, which happened to lead into some hot gossip I have for ya."

I looked at my nails and began to file them. "Do tell."

Ino's smile became wry, and she got a sparkle in her eyes.

"Well as you know…we have TEB Sakura and Ino's code name for Sasuke: Tastey Emo Boy in our class, so he was all brooding and angsty from said insident in cafeteria, and so I was trying to break the tension, and apoligize for you, and he mumbled "it's fine," all quiet like, and I was like 'HOMFG SASUKE YOU ACTAULLY SPOKE MORE THAN ONE WORD' and yeah, it was _ahh-mazing_, but he's not mad at you if that's what you were worried about."

She said that all on one breath intake. Kudos to Ino, and, **WAIT, HOLD UP, HE'S NOT MAD AT ME? HALLALUAH**! Oh, wait, Ino wasn't finished apparently.

"And, yeah, but that's not the best news yet?"

I found this hard to believe, but w/e.

"Ami, Karin's hoe, you know her right? Well she stuffs. I knew those things couldn't be real. I mean seriously, they are like so big she could suffocate me with them just by sitting next to me. No wonder all the guys looked at her last year. Easy and big boobs are a dangerous combination." Ino concluded. The she gave me one of those looks that reminds me of a dog, you know the '_I did good look_?' So I patted the top of her head, and told her good job, and gave her a treat.

Just kidding.

I laughed, and smiled.

"I knew they were fake all along. You are the gossip queen, I must say. How did you find that one out?"

Ino smiled evilly.

"When she was bending over in the hallway I got a good shot of her cleaveage and saw some tissues poking out, I mean like wads of tissues. Then someone bumped her and some fell out. She turned soooo red. It was brilliant." Ino gushed, enjoying natural high that one often time gets from sharing a dirty secret.

"Well, that probably made my day."

And then Kakashi entered the class, a good 20 minutes late.

"Yo, socially inept hooligans. Let's get started shall we?" He greeted, his eyes never leaving his porno book that he held in his hands.

Everyone in the class sweat dropped.

So I went back to my seat to face the annoying determintion of Rock Lee. Once again. When one good thing happens it just has to go back down to square one doesn't it.

"Sakura-chan, the youthful flower of my eye! Won't you be mine and accompany me to dinner tomorrow night?" Lee asked as he fawned over me.

"Um, I'm busy, sorry, maybe, oh, I don't know, next year? I wont be busy then…"

"Next year it is Sakura-chan!" Lee said happily while flashing me a toothy grin and a peace sign.

Oi, he can be so dense. Well, that's better for me actually so never mind.

"Okay class, open your books to page 31 and start doing the exersizes." Kakashi directed from the front of the classroom.

:

6th period was a blur. It was statistics with Jiraiya-sensei. Hinata, thank god, was in my class, but I still had to endure a full hour of the perv-sensei's comments about my chest. I mean really, its common courtesy not to verbally rape your students. I'm almost 18, but Jiraiya can still be called a pedophile. Cause he is. Case closed. And about that rumor that's going around about him and Tsunade-sama, I don't believe it. I don't care what the other students say, Tsunade is not dating that bastard. Hmph.

:

7th period:

Art is one of those classes that everyone takes just for an extra credit. I however take art out of my love for it, and because its like a free period for me. I'm not artistically challenged so I usually finish the projects earlier than anyone else, which gives me time to relax and daydream. Sai, Ino's bitch, is in my class too. I have to admit that his skills aren't too shabby. They are neck and neck with mine. I would befriend Sai over this common ground but he's kind of socially retarded and creepy, so I prefer to keep my distance. Ino says he's his best when he's not talking. You know what? That gave me a really nasty mental image, so just forget I even said that. Ew, now I'm scared for life.

To end on a happy note, the project for the day was to paint a dream, or something symbolistic that we have in our lives. Thinking long and hard, I decided to paint cherry blossoms. Not exactally creative, but its plenty symbolistic for me.

So there I was painting, all focoused and what not, when Sai comes up beside me and just stares at my painting.

"Can I help you?" I asked harshly.

"Ah," He replied, his eyes never leaving my painting.

I twitched. The fumes of the paint were getting to me.

"Sai, what do you want?" I repeated in a nicer tone. I think, anyway.

"The colors off," He said shortly.

"No they're not."

"They're blue, cherry blossoms are usually pink or red or white."

"This is a dream/symbol assignment, give me my creative freedom rights."

Who the hell did he think he was?

"Ah, I see, we'll I think they're ugly, you should have stuck with the generic coloring. They hardly look like flowers now."

Did I mention how much I detest Sai when he opens his mouth? And do you see what I mean by socially retarded? No guy in their right mind would cross paths with me. He was obviously stupid or wacko in the head.

"Sai, kindly kiss off and die in a hole," I seethed coldly.

He gave me his fake generic smile that we all know so well.

"Okay, ugly."

Oh he pisses me off to no end. I'm going to have to talk to Ino about this one, but at least he got the clue and left me to my painting. It's almost complete, but something is off, and its not the color. I couldn't put my finger on it exactally. That's when the door opened, and in came TEB.

"Ah, sensei, Kakashi-sensei asked me to give you this," he said monotonely, handing a piece of paper to the teacher.

She smiled and said thanks, returning her attention to the class. Sasuke stood there for a moment and just looked around. His gaze fell upon me and he gave me a smirk.

The color rose in my cheeks and I averted my eyes quickly. Hopefully he was too far away to hear my heart beating erraticly. When I looked up he was gone.

What the hell was that?

...

**Well heres chapter 2! I'd really appreciate it you gave me a comment! You can comment even if you don't have an account you know!! It doesnt have to be nice or anything, tell me how you want me to improve, what you want to happen, what you liked about, etc. And yes, i am taking advice on the plot and whats going to happen in future chapters so if you have a good idea TELL ME! **

**_A special thanks to my reviewers for the chapter! Gratz amigos!_**

Stay tuned for chapter 3!


	3. High School Never Ends

**High school never ends: Chapter 3**

-

4 Years you think for sure

That's all you've got to endure

All the (total dicks)

All the Stuck-up Chicks

So superficial, so immature

The Whole Damned World is just as obsessed

With who's the best dressed and (who's havin sex)

Who's got the money. Who (gets the hotties)

Who's kinda cute and who's just a mess

And I still don't have the right look

And I still have the same 3 friends

And I'm pretty much the same as I was back then:

-

A steady downpour of rain greeted me over eagerly as I made my way to my mustang after class was over. I'm telling you right now, some one up there has it cut out for me.

This pretty much ruined my afternoon for me, with my having a _hot date_ with my history book and all.

How was I going to look smokin' when if I was drenched from head to toe? (Litterally..haha get it? 'Cuz I'm wet, so I can't be 'Smokin'?)

I wasn't, that's how, and that fricken sucked completely. Just kidding.

I threw the heavy reminder of my sad existence (a.k.a. my backpack) into the trunk of my baby and made a run to the front of my car.

Carefully trying not to get the upholstery wet, I settled in the front seat and put in the keys. Something was wrong though, where was the usual purr of the engine? No, my baby couldn't die on me now!

I whipped out my cellular device and punched in Ino's number.

"Ino-pig!! **Help me**! My car won't freaking start! Can you help me??" I cried into the phone.

"What, Sakura, is that you-_haha, Sai-kun stop it that tickles_-Wait, your cars dead, that su-_Ohh Sai, I said stop-_giggles-"

**Ino…**

"Never mind, I'll try Hinata…" I sighed dejectedly into the phone.

"Haha, okay Forehead, I'll see ya later! Have fun!" Ino replied distractedly.

Well that showed how focused her mind was right then. She must be ADD. Her normal personality mixed with Sai is going to kill her one day, or me.

So, there I was, _stranded_, my last hope being Hinata.

**Ring…ring…ring**

PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE HINATA!!

_"You've reached H-hinata's phone….I'm soo s-s-sorry that I can't pick up. F-father if this is you, I'm w-with Neji-san. Please don't be angry. Gomen!"_

…Wow, I was going to have to change that the next time I saw her…

Crap, so now I was hopelessly alone, everyone had left the parking lot to go home. The school was locked because it was Friday and there were no clubs. There was nothing. And it was still raining bullets. I must have been the luckiest girl alive. If I was near a drug store at that moment I would have bought myself a lottery ticket, and won, 'cause I'm just that special.

Just when I was about to give up all hope and spiral into the black abyss of my depression, a car came up beside mine. A very nice car I might add.

Thinking that god loved me and sent an angel I clambered out of the car and knocked on the cars window frantically.

It rolled down slowly, while I was groveling to the person inside.

"Oh my gosh, thank god you're here! My car broke down and-Uchiha-san?"

Wasn't expecting that.

"Haruno, what the hell are you doing?" He asked me in a monotone voice, his eyes piercing my soul.

"Eh, um, I-I-I, Ino, my car, dead….help?" I managed to respond to my horror. So now I was the socially inept pink headed retard, complete with stuttering and incoherent speech. That should have gone on my résumé for my job at the department store under the "special talents" portion. "_Can make a complete idiot of her self in less than 30 seconds."_

Sasuke smirked.

"Get in."

"Hai…"

-

From school to my house is roughly a 20 minute drive, give or take a few with traffic and random furry animals that just love to run out into the middle of the street and give you immediate heart attacks and cause you to swerve and crash into a tree.

The car ride with TEB was one of the most painfully awkward experiences of my life.

20 minutes turned into about an hour because of the rain and road closing because of delays and shit.

First of all, I was soaked, hence making me cold in Sasuke's air-conditioned car. (Like **WTF**? Who air-condition's their car in September? It was getting cold!)

Secondly, I was wearing a _white shirt_, so my hot pink bra, god forbid I ever wear that thing again, was showing through my shirt, much to my embarrassment. Sasuke didn't seem to mind though.

Thirdly, there was **SMALL TALK**. Small talk sucks, it makes everything seem awkward and fake, which I must admit it, was, but couldn't we just pretend it wasn't and be good sports?

No. We couldn't.

So I was sitting in shotgun, staring out the window, trying to look all preoccupied and interested in the trees and houses that we were passing. That's when I decided to thank him for the save. What in gods name made me talk to him?!

"Uchiha-san, t-thanks so much for the save back there…" I was turning into Hinata. Oh gosh.

"Hn."

He turned the steering wheel as we made a left at the fork in the road, only to be stopped short by the traffic. Sasuke sighed and looked deadpan, as he looked out of the windshield.

"Um, by the way, what were you doing at school so late?" I asked him, trying to be friendly.

He turned his head slowly to face me, and everything in his facial expression read FAIL. **F-A-I-L.**

I shrunk the tiniest bit further into the edge of my seat.

"Sorry, that was rude, I'm just glad you were there was all…" I said timidly, avoiding his penetrating stare.

"…"

The light changed to green and we were moving again. Only about 10 miles left to endure with the Uchiha.

I decided that talking would only worsen the situation, so I shut my big mouth and stared straight out into the rain.

9 minutes: I glanced at Sasuke, he noticed (unfortunately) and smirked. I blushed, majorly.

8 minutes: I sneezed about five times in a row due to my damp shirt and even damper mood. Snot got everywhere. Sasuke sighed and grudgingly handed me a tissue. I turned the color of my hair. Once again.

7 minutes: At a loss to where to put the tissue I decided to keep in crumpled in my hand. That landed me with a hand full of snot. That felt oh, so lovely, and now I couldn't touch anything in the car, not that I wanted to…except maybe TEB, but he was quite out of my reach for the time being.

6 minutes: I sat staring at my closed fist, contemplating what to do about the gross mishap, which happened to take place in there a minute earlier.

5 minutes: I cautiously ask Sasuke for another tissue. He begrudgingly gives me another one. What flew up his butt? It's just a tissue, right?

4 minutes: My over-analyzing mind hits over drive as I start to wonder if it really is just a tissue. Maybe his deceased parents, or his over-bearing brother who disappeared a few years ago gave it to him. **OH MY GOD, I WAS USING SASUKE'S SACRED TISSUE! WHAT HAVE I DONE?**

3 minutes: I realize that I'm a demented twit who's on crack. What the hell was I just thinking?

2 minutes: My house comes into sight and I let out a relieved sigh. Sasuke smirks, almost.

1 minute: We round the corner and pull up into my driveway. I was finally home! Halleluiah!

-

TEB put the car in idle and continued to stare out of the windshield.

"Ne, Uchiha-san, thanks for the ride, and everything…"

"Aa."

I unbuckled my seat belt and was about to open the door when I felt Sasuke lean over me.

His left hand was on the door handle, his right on the armchair. My face flushed, was this god's sign? Did Sasuke _actually_ want me to stay?

He turned his face to me, still wearing an impassive expression and said blatantly: _"The handle is hard to open."_

Oh, so that was it. **_Man!_**

He opened the handle with a jerky motion and returned to his previous position in the drivers seat.

"A-a. Okay, thanks again!"

I slid out of the car silently and quickly made my way up the porch steps. Finding my key I jabbed it into the door and hurriedly made my way inside, wanting to escape my embarrassment as quickly as possible.

In the driveway Sasuke smirked, a playful light dancing through his usually onyx orbs.

"Haurno, Sakura, eh?"

Damn, this weekend was going to be fun.

-

**A/N: Hey everyone! Thanks so much for all the comments that we posted for Chapter 2!! Sorry this chapter is kinda short...**

** I'm glad you liked it! I'm still open to suggestions for anyone who wants certain events to happen! Please tell me what you liked about the chapter in your reviews...It always makes me feel really good to know what you liked/disliked. **

**Once again, NO FLAMES PLEASE. Not that i've had any yet...but just incase some people are itching to just demoralize me completely. Oh and Please R&R. I need to get up to at least 35 reviews if you guys want a chapter 4. I'm not trying to be mean or anything, I just work faster with more encouragement! That would mean I need about 16 more comments to keep me operational. Oh and if I get more than that I'll make the next chapter super long! Thanks so much!**

_Enjoy The Show!_

_(The song used for the intro is Bowling For Soup's: High School Never Ends)_

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto or The song featured at the beginning.


	4. Oh Dear

"Sa-ku-ra-chan."

_'If I ignore them, they'll just leave me alone.'_

"SAKUUURRAAAA-CHAAANNN? ARE YOU HOME?"

_'No, I'm most deffinetly not home. Please just give up already!'_

"I see you through your bedroom window…"

_'No you don't. Shut up.'_

"Did you hear that beep outside Sakura? That was me…."

_'No it wasn't. There was no beep.'_

_'O wait, yes there was.'_

"Sakura-chan, come and play with me!"

_'NOOOOO!!'_

"I'm going to climb up your trellis and invade your room if you don't get out of the house right now…"

_'No you won't. You're such a liar.'_

"I'm going to violate your personal space if you don't open the door for me…do you hear that knock? That's me Sakura-chan…."

_'Don't be a pedo, and that's not you that's my aunt.'_

"Good thing I have my handy-dandy spare key to your house!"

_'Say what now?'_

A creek came from my first floor, followed by a shrill giggle.

"Oh Sakura-channn…Where are you?"

_'Fuck.'_

"Oh, you're upstairs I see…How fun."

_'I'm going to get raped.'_

Heavy footsteps echoed through the house as the perpertrator made their way up the stairwell.

"Oh, don't close the door Sakura-chan, I just want to have fun with you!"

_'Like HELL you do.'_

There was a soft knocking at my door, and I started a cold sweat. I was going to die, I could feel it in my bones. The knob to my bedroom door slowly and climatically turned to the left, and opened ever so slowly.

"There you are! Do you know how long I've been waiting for this?"

I backed up to the edge of my room, eyes wide with fear. How did it end up like this?

"Now be a good girl and don't fuss. The last thing we need are the neighbors waking up and calling the cops…"

Not even cops could help me now. With my mind racing away for ideas, all I could do was watch while the maniac made their way closer and closer to my petite body…

"Please, you really shouldn't be doing this…" I began, whining slightly as the gap between us slowly decreased.

"Oh, you don't know how much I've wanted to do this. You don't even know…"

And that's when I screamed.

**-x-**

"You little shit! Why the _hell_ did you scream?" Ino fumed as we made our way to Ino's car.

"You we're about to jump me, that's why." I retorted, still upset at Ino's grab-and-dash preformed only moments earlier in my room.

"Well, if you had picked up your freaking phone and didn't leave me to talk to the answering machine I would have let you dress yourself and I wouldn't have been all sketched out in my arrival."

I rolled my eyes. Like I really believed her.

"Well, I have to admit, it was quite hilarious." Ino added, obviously pleased with her work.

I snorted as I made my way to the other side of the car. As Ino sat down in the driver's seat I slowly turned to her and as seriously as I could, managed to ask:

"Was the boob grab really necessary?"

Ino winked at me, cracking a wry grin.

"All part of the moment babe, deal. Now lets get going to this party, we're already an hour late thanks to you.

I sighed. Great, a chance to get felt up by wasted morons. What more could I want?

**-x-**

Even from a block away the music was deafeningly loud. It was a miracle that the party hadn't been busted yet. Ino parked the car a good ways away, saying that its safer, just incase the cops wanted to pay a visit. I once again rolled my eyes, thinking how badly all of this was going to end.

As we made our way to the party Ino's eyes became fluid and light in the anticipation of what was to come.

"Sai's here isn't he?" I asked her, knowing the answer.

She smirked at me and gave me a knowing look, and she was off. I was left with unwanted thoughts of her and Sai in my mind as I weaved through the crowd of tipsy high schoolers, the best kind of high schoolers I might add, trying to find a safe place to hide myself in.

And that's when I came face to face with Sasuke Uchiha. A blush crept onto my face as I mumbled an "excuse me".

He smirked and blocked my path as I tried to get around him.

"Well if it isn't Haruno."

Kill me now lord.

______________________________________________

**Hey everyone! Thanks so much for all the comments on the last chapter! I got 36! one more than i wanted! Sorry it took so long for the chapter to come out. I was waiting until i got up to 35 comments. Please review this chapter too! i want to know if you actually thought a murderer was coming (lol) sorry, the idea just kinda came to me. Hope i didn't scare anyone too much. I love you all so much. Tell me your likes and dislikes about the chap. Sorry its not as happy/funny as the previous. im in a bit of a mood today:/**

Until next time mis amores:)

~Enjoy The Show

R&R


	5. Parrtayyy, wait, what?

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto....Unless Santa decided to give him to me for christmas...**

**::_+_::**

"I didn't know parties were your 'scene' Haruno." Sasuke whispered into my ear, as I struggled (and failed—miserably) to get by him. Narrow hallways and any type of constricted space just weren't my thing.

"Parties aren't my thing, they're Ino's…" I said, glancing over my shoulder trying vainly to catch a glimpse of her and telepathically ask for help.

"You're all flushed, what's the matter?" Sasuke asked me. "You don't seem to be _enjoying_ yourself…"

He was right, I _wasn't_ enjoying myself, and I wondered why, because any maniac fan-girl would be dying in this situation right now. I think it had to do with the lack of oxygen reaching my lungs and his god-like beauty being a little to intimidating for me.

Sasuke smirked, unbeknownst to me, at the uneasiness painted obviously onto my face. He loved the affect he had on me.

Shut up, I know I loved it too.

"Let's get you a drink before you do something stupid."

That sentence didn't make any sense. Wasn't it that I wasn't supposed to drink to avoid any problematic situations of the stupid variety?

Whatever, like I was going to bring up the mistake of an Uchiha, that would be like a sudden death elimination, and as far as I knew, I was still bachelorette number…number…I don't know what number (because I'm betting that there are many…that makes me sad, scratch that.) but anyways, I still had a running chance (I think) and I wasn't going to screw it up. Yet.

I nodded dumbly, at a loss for words (for once) and followed silently behind him as we made our way to the keg.

The only question that was buzzing through my mind at this point was how he could get though the claustrophobic hallway so easily. I mean really? He must outweigh me by like 100 lbs, and is roughly a foot taller than mean. Not exactly what people call petite, which I am. So how could he make it look so easy?

Wait, I know, he's **SASUSKE UCHIHA**, a.k.a. **GOD**.

He can do whatever the hell he wants to do.

The real question I should have been asking myself, was why me? Am I special now?

I should have been doing cartwheels (hypothetically), but my mind doesn't work in normal ways, so instead I was awing over his supposed god like power.

When he was getting my drink I accidentally let it slip.

"Can you, like, shoot laser beams out of your eyes too?"

Sasuke stopped, cocked an eyebrow and handed me my drink.

"What?"

I immediately flushed crimson, and my eyes became huge. Did I really just say that?

"Umm, nothing, bad joke…"

I am an idiot. If it wasn't official before it was now.

Sasuke sighed and scratched the back of his head. I could see the gears in his head turning, wondering why he was with me again.

I raised my red cup and smiled crookedly at him before he could leave me to my lowliness.

_I am not worthy, I am not worthy_

"Cheers?"

He smirked at me.

"Aa."

Well that was a start I guess.

"SAKURA-CHAN!"

Damn.

I was then glomped my Naruto.

"Naruto-kun, why aren't you somewhere else?"

Anywhere else?

Naruto gave me a sheepish smile. Sasuke looked bored.

"Hinata-chan isn't really into parties, so I came here by myself! Now I can hang out with you guys!"

Sasuke smirked. I frowned and rolled my eyes.

"Yay." I retorted, my voice dripping ice siccles.

Naruto didn't take the hint. Like I thought he would anyway, but I was getting lucky tonight, so why not hope for another miracle on 34th street?

Movie reference, sorry, it was bad.

"Sakura-chan, we're going to have sooo much fun tonight! We can play pong, and then quarters, and we can get Sasuke-teme to play with us!"

Sasuke twitched, ever so slightly.

I cracked an evil grin. That did sound like fun.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun is playing with us? That changes the game entirely!" I mewled deviously. I never saw Sasuke drunk before.

Sasuke threw daggers at me with his glare.

I pouted, I think the beer was getting to me 'coz I was never this daring…around Sasuke…I walked, no stumbled, over to him and in my tipsy state latched onto his arm and started pulling him towards Naruto.

"Lets go boys! The night is young!" I proclaimed. Naruto grinned widely and Sasuke pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Hn."

::_+_::

We made our way to the basement where a heated game of pong was already taking place.

And guess who was the star of it??

Can't guess? Pshh, loser.

It was **INO!**

Ahahaha, we have a winner!

"Oooh, it's Saku-channn! Every-hic-body say 'Hiii Saku-channn!'" Ino slurred, flashing me a peace sign as she struggled to make her way towards me.

"Hi Saku-chan!" Rang out a chorus of very sober male voices.

Shocker, Ino-the-slut puts on a show again.

[_Insert cheesy hero music here_]

Her stupid grin made me feel a little bit happier though, she looked so giddy. It was fun to watch.

"Forehead!!! Come give me a h-hic-hug!" Ino said, reaching for me as I made my way towards her from the stairs.

"Yes, please give her a hug!" rang out from all the mouths of the males in the room.

That was all the encouragement she needed. Ino clumsily made her way to me and made quite a show or throwing her arms around my upper torso.

"Mou, Sakura-chan, I don't feel so good…"

And then the amazing Ino

(Passed out/died/fell/lost consciousness/played a cruel joke on me)

I HATED her at that moment.

"Hey Sai!" I called from the stairs, "Come get your sex!"

He frowned at me as he took Ino's body from my grasp.

"And you call yourself her best friend?" Sasuke asked me skeptically, "The transvestite might try something funny on her while she's mentally incapacitated."

I shrugged my shoulders and look towards Sai.

"You wouldn't do anything crude to Ino while she's indisposed would you?"

Sai just gave me his evil smile that we all know and love.

I looked back at Sasuke and gave him the thumbs up, my veins pumping with alcohol.

"I'll take that as a probably, but if she's lucky she won't be raped tonight!"

Sasuke gave me an impassive look.

"Hey, she wanted that guy, so that's the price I'm willing to pay for her happiness…"

"Hn."

I rolled my eyes and grabbed Naruto's hand.

"We're supposed to be playing some Pong aren't we?"

Naruto gave me a huge grin. "That's right Sakura-chan! Lets go!"

It was like the parting of the Red Sea when I walked towards the table. All the guys moved at once so I had a comfortable place right in the groupie. I was wedged between a guy named Shikamaru (Ino's ex, long story) and LEE (hahhahaa, JUST KIDDING) and a guy named Shino. He has an odd fetish with bugs. I would rather not go into depth with it, but I will tell you that it is extremely creepy and makes me feel slightly scared anytime I am in a 10-meter radius of him. Not that I'm judging.

"Okay, lets continue!" Random guy number 1 shouted, "I made the cup last time, so I get to pick somebody to drink….I choose…Haruno!"

Naturally. Guys these days are so predictable.

"Cheers," I picked up the red plastic cup and chugged the Luke-warm beer. I was disgusting.

After the consumption I let a smug smirk tug on the corners of my lips. Yeah, that's right, Haruno Sakura can hold down her alcohol just fineee.

"Looks like our team is winning!" Naruto shouted across the packed table. He was right. Our team had 4 cups left and the other team only had 2. This was going to be interesting.

The random guy went again, but conveniently missed the cup.

I was up, and as I carefully aimed the Ping-Pong ball I caught the heartthrob Uchiha observing me intently.

'_Eat your heart out, bastard_.'

Of course, like any heroine of a story, I had all the skills required to make me the elitist of Pong. (_Aiming, taunting and alcohol tolerance_) So the ball went into the opposing teams cup with absolute grace.

The author of the story either really loves me, or is trying to make up for an upcoming shitty situation…

"Yes! I choose…Uchiha to drink!"

Sasuke raised a brow at me and roughly grabbed the cup, drowning the substance almost immediately.

Then it was his turn. And of COURSE, just as the gods (and you) predicted, he made the shot.

And he chose…**NARUTO**?

Huh, well there's a first time for everything. I just hope that doesn't mean he's gay.

'Coz, that just might ruin my life.

**A/N:**

_Here's your christmas present! For a return christmas present could you please leave me a comment? It would benefit you too, 'coz i need at least 15 more comments to keep me writing. That means I need 66 comments for this story if you want the next chapter out! HOHOHOHOHO_

_;) You know you want to anyway...hehehe so Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukah! _

_and i'd appreciate if the comments actually talked about the story, tell me what you liked, disliked, if you have any ideas for up coming chapters! I hope you don't think i'm pushy:( i just want love and feedback as much as the next person 3_


	6. C'est la vie, I love you

Naruto looked at Sasuke with such surprise, it was almost as if he had asked him to take of his pants and dance around naked, instead of chug-a-lug with said alcohol. Poor guy. I felt for him, I really did, but part of me was seething that Sasuke didn't choose me. There's something really appealing to me about a one-night stand with a drunken Sasuke. And if he called _'Rape'_ I could always say "I was under the influence, no take backs chico. Lo siento." I might be weird, but that greatly appealed to me. And if I got pregnant, Sasuke would be my Baby Daddy! How fun! Except for the whole pregnant part that is… Wow, I sound like a stalker.

Back to Naruto, the poor, pathetic soul.

Gulping loudly, Naruto shakily raised the alcohol to his lips and chugged that papi down.

"Took you long enough, dobe." Sasuke yawned, clearly amused with Naruto's skittish antics.

**"SASUKE-TEME! I WAS JUST SHOCKED THAT YOU PICKED ME! I'M NOT SCARED OF DRINKING."**

"Hn."

"Ara, Naruto, it's your turn to throw the ball…" I said quietly, not wanting the boys to claw each other's eyes out like two _13 year-old girls._

"Oh, you're right Sakura-chan! Oops!" Sticking his tongue out, Naruto put on his stupid thinking face and she squared his shoulders and took aim.

**And**

**The**

**Ball**

**Climatically**

**Fell**

**Into**

**_Ino's Cleavage?_**

_WHAT?_

Didn't see that one coming, seeing as Ino was supposed to be with Sai, indisposed in some dark lair that only Sai knows how to get to. Namely using his ability to walk through walls and talk to dolphins.

It seems as though our lovely Sai didn't appreciate Ino's untalkative character _(the damn fool)_ and decided to dump her doll like body on the ground on the other side of the table.

What a shame that didn't see her earlier, I could have moved her somewhere out of harms way.

Everyone in the room froze as the thought of having to pull the ping-pong ball out of Ino's boobs dawned on the guy's one-track minds. It was like Christmas, all their eyes immediately lit up at the prospect. Kiba, being the complete pervert that he is spoke up first.

"Well, _you know_, if we leave it there, she'll wake up thinking somebody was messing with her while she was out. I'll be the good Samaritan and take it off her hands-**er**-body (_coughclevageTHANK YOU GODcough_)" Akamaru wined pathetically at his owner, clearly ashamed to be related or owned by someone of that class.

Naruto flushed crimson and then cracked an evil smile.

"Well, I was the one that got it down there in the first place, it should be _**my**_ responsibility to take it out. I mean, I've got to start dealing with the consequences of my actions."

_[Smirk/Smirkier/Smirkiest]_

Rolling my eyes, I walked over to Ino and took the ball out of her shirt before she could be taken advantage of by any of the leering perverts in the room. Thank god I did it when I did. After I stood up, they all looked like they were going to pounce.

"That wasn't too hard, now was it?" I asked skeptically, tossing the ball back to Naruto, who looked down sheepishly, not wanting to meet my eyes.

The nerve he possessed. He was supposed to be with Hinata!

"Naruto, actually hit the target this time, or I might have to tell Hinata about tonight's festivities. Hmmm?"

He nodded quickly and then aimed again.

_((SFX: SWISH))_

Whole in one! Or Ball In Cup!

Naruto, world-renowned idiot, made the shot! The crowd (_10 people, give or take a few and minus one_) went crazy!!!

Though, its landing spot was not nearly as interesting as the previous.

Naruto glance around the room, soaking in each persons face. He stopped on me and his face lit up.

**Great.**

The he did a sort-of double take and pointed at Sasuke.

**"TEME! I CHOOSE YOU!"**

_'So you wanna' be a master of Pokémon? Do you have the skills to me number one?'_

I think I see a flashback to second grade there.

_Pikachu, I choose you!_

_Bitch, pleaseeeee_

Sasuke cocked an eyebrow (a sexy eyebrow mind you) and nonchalantly drowned the red cup, _a.k.a. universal symbol for a kegger._

Sasuke's turn to throw came, and all the lesser, non-important, filler characters, looked on in sheer awe, drool spilling out of the corners of their gaping mouths. The ball entered the cup with a flawless 'swoosh'. The Sasuke smirked.

"Haruno."

"Eu…?" I was ecstatic; my fantasy had the slightest chance on coming true now! Two cups of alcohol down, and by this one I'd be gone. Hopefully.

The downside to this whole thing was that I was feeling a tad woozy, and getting a dizzy aura about me. My vision was starting to blur, and my hands began to shake as I slowly picked up the cup. Trying to mask my uneasiness, I cracked a smile and tipped my cup, then slowly drained its contents, trying not to overwhelm myself with the disgusting feat that had to be done.

As the warm contents slithered down my throat, I could feel the nagging of my eyelids, trying to close, wanting to sleep. This couldn't be happening now! I could feel my knees begin to buckle and my eyes roll back into my head.

Then everything when eerily dark.

I could feel someone's arms wrap around me, and I enjoyed their warmth. My eyes finally decided to function properly again, and I found myself blinking, trying to adjust to the lighting.

"How long was I out?" I mumbled incoherently, rubbing my hands over my temples and eyes.

"I'd say, roughly an hour or so."

That voice, I knew that voice.

I closed my eyes again, trying to see if I was still in a dream.

"Wake up, sleeping beauty." The husky voice whispered.

And then he _**kissed**_ me.

[Mini Crisis AVERTED! Sasuke Uchiha is in fact, not gay (as opposed to popular belief.) Praise the LORD]

**A/N:**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto!**

Hope you liked it!!! Comment please, even if you _don't_ have an account you can!

_Comments make me write quickly!_


	7. Ce Soir

The next morning a discombobulated Ino woke up with a start to find herself locked in a closet.

'Well at least I'm not dead…'

She pulled a hanging string from the ceiling and a light came on, and she sat face to face with a sleeping Shikamaru.

'…Yet….'

And the ever-frail Ino let out a shrill scream of exasperation.

**Spilled Milk**

**Chapter 7**

My eyes grew into saucers as my mind attempted-and failed-to process what was happening…

_He loves me, he loves me not_

_He's kissing me, he's kissing me…not_

_DUB-T-F is this really even Uchiha?_

Our "hot and heavy" lick lock (Jokes! I wish.) ended as quickly as it started and left me completely dazed. I wasn't even sure if it really happened to be honest. All I know is Sasuke was sitting next to my prostrate body, which was so attractively jumbled on the floor, and he was wearing that fucking infamous smirk of his.

"Don't expect the sleeping beauty nickname to catch on," I mumbled incoherently, my last attempt to seem cute in my utterly drunken stupor.

To my surprise he chuckled. And you can't even begin to understand. A normal chuckle for a person is like…Ha Ha Ha, that was cute, blah blah, something stupid, no one cares. His chuckle was… mm…dark, and yummy, and so damned attractive. If I had a tape-recorder on me, and it was the 1950's, I would have SO recorded that shit up and played it over and over.

WHOAH…back up. I sound like a freak. I'm going to go out on a limb here and say I was still out of my right mind. I almost definitely hit my head when I blacked out.

Hard-core dude. That's how I roll.

Regardless, he's smirking and chuckling and looking oh-so-attractive and mysterious. I'm probably drooling and smell like alcohol. This is not the ideal situation. He then decides too stand up-and pull me up with him. My head gets all fuzzy and I faintly hear a "Let's get you home."

"WHAT DID I DO?" Ino burst from the closet down the hall and ran frantically around the hallway, clutching her face in despair and shame.

So now I'm in his car, and I can't help but think, '_he's finally chosen me._' Which is completely ridiculous.

**Sasuke doesn't choose people, people choose him. **

_I say poh-tay-to_

_You say poh-ta-to (but you actually don't because no one pronounces it like that, don't be stupid)_

_And Sasuke says "shut up" and you're in love with him. BAM. Didn't see that one coming. _

"I can't go home yet…my parents will know…" (That I woke up drunk, how much did I drink last night?)

Sasuke didn't say anything as he started the car. Maybe he didn't hear me? I wasn't going to reiterate anything I said though, I was drunk, but not stupid enough to second-guess an Uchiha.

When he turned in the opposite direction of my house I knew that he had heard me, and it was then I mumbled a "thank you" before falling asleep to the lull of his car's oh so smooth engine.

If people had to look like their cars, Sasuke would have to have a black Jaguar.

Sleek, Scary Fast, Intimidating and wealthy.

I assumed we drove around for a few hours in silence, unless I'm a sleep-talker. That would be embarrassing. I can just imagine how that would have played out…

_Me: "MM.."_

_Sasuke thinking I'm awake: "What is it Haruno?"_

_Me, asleep: "You think you're so hot n shit, but you really are…I mean, I'd tap that."_

_Sasuke, now aware I'm asleep and highly amused: "Really now?"_

_Me, stupid: "Have you looked in the mirror recently? You are FINE BOY."_

_Sasuke: Smirk_

_Me: "Lets make like a fabric softener and snuggle!"_

But when he dropped me at home, and I was slightly less intoxicated and almost completely sane (HA!), something dawned on me.

Sasuke Uchiha can be…nice?

Something else dawned on me then too.

HE HAD KISSED ME.

I have to make him own up to that or it will drive me crazy forever.

-Xx-

"Where the fuck is everyone?"

A dazed Shikamaru climbed out of the depths of the closet, rubbing his temples.

All he could remember was Ino screaming…

Wait.

Ino.

Shika cracked a wry grin. It was about time a new chapter of their relationship was started…

/

**Authors note:**

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto**

_So I'm aware of the fact that I haven't updated in like over a year, and this is pretty short. I'm terribly sorry and I hope you enjoyed it! Better late than never right?_

_If you tell me what you thought I promise on my life the next chapter will be speedy quick!_


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Naruto, Humor, Romance