Naruto 1. Antifreeze Ice Cream

**Disclaimer**: Don't own , etc.

**Pairing Info**: There will be Boyxboy, girlxgirl, and girlxboy pairings in this fanfic. Now, I am open to requests and suggestions, so just review and let me know what you want to see.

Current parings: Neji/Shikamaru, Tayuya/Hinata, Kisame/Itachi, Sasuke/Naruto, Sasori/Deidara. With a side of possible unrequited Sai/Naruto and Tobi/Deidara.

**Warnings**: Language, teacher/student, possible rape/drug use/violence/etc etc. Also it'll probably get rather deserving of the M rating later on, just as a heads up (in other words, sexual content. I'm sorry).

**Author Note**: Yes, another high school centric Naruto fic. Sorry. I've always enjoyed reading them (is that strange? I know a lot of people tend to hate them) even if they are overdone and whatnot. I love, _love_, reading drama, so I've finally decided to try to write it myself. If you have any suggestions/requests/tips/etcetc or just want to let me know what you think, please take a moment to review. The chapters might be annoyingly short at first, but they'll get longer, bear with me please.

* * *

**Hinata POV  
**

The divine mixture of cream and artificial flavorings melting against my tongue was soothing, to say the least. I kept shoveling in spoonful after spoonful, trying my hardest not to hyperventilate (something that, much to my displeasure, seems to happen to me much too frequently. I apologize in advance if what I'm about to say sounds rude, but I am not your vacationing spot, Mr. Decreased Carbon Dioxide Levels, so it would be best if you just went away and never came back, pretty please).

"You're lucky Hyuuga are blessed with a fairly high metabolism, Hinata, or else you'd have to work even harder in training to lose that extra pudge." Neji spoke calmly from where he was perched on top of the kitchen counter across from where I sat. That's hardly fair, I thought. He knows I'm nervous, and it's not as if I have anywhere else to turn to for comfort; I _need_ this Vanilla Caramel Fudge ice cream.

He didn't seem surprised when I didn't say anything in reply, continuing my ice cream purge silently. Still, this didn't seem to stop him from 'tch'ing at my apparent insubordination. I felt slightly bad for my lack of reply, so I carefully swallowed before deliberately setting down my spoon. My eyes flickered up to him briefly; he was staring at me expectantly and without interest. I quickly dropped my gaze to the marble counter top.

"You, you k-know, Neji… Father dislikes it when you d-do that, s-sit there, I mean." I would have liked to think I wouldn't be stuttering as much if I wasn't so nervous, but even I knew that was a long shot.

"I wasn't aware you were so interested in a career in law enforcement, cousin." Whoops, I should have known he would have taken that the wrong way.

"That's n-not what I meant, I just would prefer for you not to get in t-trouble. Father also doesn't l-like it when you don't keep that… your hair, tied back… It's s-silly but..." He should know by now that I didn't like the rules any more than he did. He _should_ know, and perhaps he did, and just chose to ignore it. As if my father's discrimination towards him was somehow my fault. Neji was stubborn like that. He could be very immature and childish sometimes, and I think the only thing keeping him from using my hair (which I am very fond of, I finally grew out after having it very short all my life) as a chewing gum target, was his determination to keep up his calm charade of nonchalance. Personally, I think he's going to crack one of these days, I can only hope I'm there when it happens. I'm not very good at catching blunt objects with my head, but better me than someone else, right?

Neji looked slightly annoyed, though that probably had a lot to do with the fact that he wasn't by any means a morning person. "Shouldn't you be off patrolling the streets this early, officer? Making sure children don't get hit by cars on their way to their first bright, joyous day at school?"

Ugh, did he have to remind me what would be taking place in a few hours? "I wish_ I _would get hit by a car." I murmured. It was safe to say I was not at all looking forward to today.

He sighed, "Oh, _come on_, Hinata. You've been worrying over this all summer. I think it's time you suck it up and just go. You'll be fine, as I've told you over and over again; freshmen year is not hard at all. Besides, someone like you will only be noticed for that speech impediment and excessive shyness. Such awful habits, if I were you, I would be concentrating on breaking them, rather than numbing my brain with frozen cow secretions."

"Now I really want to get hit by that car."

"We both know that's not true."

"I know."

"Well, that fulfills my life-saving quota for the day. I'd be the best damn suicide hotline operator in the history of forever."

I couldn't help but smile. "Oh, y-yes, Neji, I agree. Your charming voice would lure even the most suicidal out of their depressed ways; a-actually, I think they may even start hitting on you by the end of the session."

Neji's lip twitched, probably fighting a smirk "You know, Hinata, you can be real cute sometimes. Maybe people around school will actually notice you're related to me." At his last words he hopped down from the counter and sauntered out of the room, presumably to get ready to go to said school.

I stared after him, smiling silently to myself. Maybe the day I had been dreading wouldn't be such a bad day after all.

* * *

**Neji POV**

Hinata was looking extremely nervous, poking her fingers together and fidgeting every few seconds in the bus seat in front of mine. We were the first stop, along with a few other kids, Sasuke Uchiha I noticed in particular. As of now everyone had their own seat, and I had quickly abandoned Hinata as soon as we stepped into the school bus; it was my personal goal to ignore her as much as possible.

If there was anything I agreed with my guardian, Hinata's father, on, it was definitely that Hinata needed to learn to fend for herself. She needed to toughen up. A lot. Hence why we were both being sent to a _public _school – Hiashi thought the majority of the kids that attended would be just perfect for doing the job. Harsh, yes, but she really needed to get over her social awkwardness, it embarrassed me just by watching. This, of course, is also why we are riding the damned bus to school, rather than just taking my car. Hiashi forbid it. A part of it also might have to do with the fact that he greatly disapproved of my driving.

At this point we'd reached several stops and the bus was getting pretty full, people would actually have to start sharing seats soon. Joy. I put on my best intimidating face, glaring as best I could at such an hour. Another stop. More kids were skipping into the bus, overjoyed and eager to start the new day, and by this I mean they were filing in like zombies.

A girl with long oddly colored reddish-pink hair trudged down the aisle with a scowl etched onto her features. I recognized her as one of the flute players in the school band. She was probably a sophomore by now, like me. I say probably because I'm not sure if, technically she passed. Apparently she didn't do much schoolwork; one of those kids who just went to school because they had to. I heard she caused a lot of trouble for the teachers last year, she had a fairly notorious reputation around school. The word is she beat a guy pretty badly with her flute within the first few months of her freshmen year. She would have probably been expelled if the fight had happened in school. Lucky for her it didn't, and the guy was too ashamed of getting hurt so badly by someone so much smaller than him to press charges. The only thing teachers heard were rumors, but you can never be sure if those vile things are true or not. That wasn't the end of her 'trouble making' either.

So, needless to say, I instantly grew weary when she plopped down beside my cousin, whose condition was not, by any means, improving.

I watched as Hinata quickly scooted as far over in the seat as she could until she was pressed firmly against the window, an action I knew was her way of being polite. The flute player seemed to take note of this, and growled, "What the fuck is your problem, little girl? If there's something you want to say about me, just go on right ahead and say it-- on second thought, don't. It's too fucking early to deal with little shi-"

My attention to the ranting girl was cut short when there was suddenly weight on the empty spot next to me. A gir—no, boy, definitely a boy, with his brown hair tied back into a high pony tail had just sat beside me. He groaned, muttering to himself and scratching the back of his head. He looked very, very, tired as well as seemingly more than displeased by the fact that he was here, on a school bus, and not still asleep under the covers at home. I would have emphasized with him if not for the fact that he was occupying the space next to me. I always had my own seat, _always_.

"Eehh, sorry man, you don't have to look like you're going to bite me. I needed somewhere to sit, and you looked like you would rather drink a bottle of antifreeze than talk, and _I_ would rather swim in a bathtub filled with bleach than have to listen to someone talk.. so… it jus.. just kind of.. wor. .works out.. you know?" After his little speech, the boy yawned widely and then promptly closed his eyes and started snoring. At first I almost thought it was some kind of joke, but no, he was actually out like a light. What the hell. If he starts drooling I swear I'll swipe a bottle of bleach from the janitors, _mix_ it with some antifreeze, and _then_ shove it down his throa—the bus turned a corner causing the boy to lean against me, the side of his face falling to rest gently on my shoulder.

Great way to start the day. Great. Just, great.


	2. Cross Dressing Tuesday

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything and am not making money off of it. True story.

**Authors Note:** So very sorry it took so long to update. School owned my soul. It's break for now though, so maybe I'll be able to update regularly for a while. Reviews good or bad encourage me to update.

Also, to Moocow33: Yeah, Neji's been there since he was a freshie. If someone hasn't I'll probably make that clear soon after introducing them into the story, so no more worries I hope. Thanks so much for reviewing, by the way. It made me really happy!

* * *

**Shikamaru POV**

Slowly, I started to become more and more aware of my surroundings as I drifted out of sleep. The first thing that came to my attention is that it was soft, so very soft. And even better than that, it was _warm._ Having yet to open my eyes but judging by the vibrations I guessed I was still on the bus, I groaned. It was so comfortable in dreamland, why must I always awaken from it? My groan quickly turned into a yawn and my arm automatically moved to stretch—what? The movement had caused my palm and a portion of my arm to slide against something smooth and warm. The something was also moving-- _breathing. _My eyes finally opened in horror only to meet the gaze of one very flustered Neji Hyuuga. Damn, that red on his cheeks makes him look like a girl.

"Oh, so you've decided to wake up?" Neji spoke up a moment after our eyes met. Was it me or did his expression just turn from slight curiosity to anger? Not that it matters when all I can manage is to keep staring up at him. His eyes narrow. I nod "I'm awake, but that wasn't really my choice… I mean, I didn't want to-" I was cut off by a growl of impatience.

"Do. You. Mind!?" Neji snaps down at me. He proceeds to look exasperated when I only return his bitching with a tired stare. I just woke up, give a guy a break, sheesh.

The Hyuuga boy heaves a dramatic sigh and looks pointedly down at his own chest, my gaze follows out of courtesy, I'd been using him as a pillow, so I suppose he at least deserves a little of my attention as payment-- oh.

My hand is up his shirt.

My. Hand. Is. Is.

Not good.

Perhaps if I play it off as if it's no big deal he'll ignore the whole thing… I yank my hand out from underneath his shirt and launch myself so hard in the opposite direction, to get as far away from the other boy as possible, that I end up landing in the aisle of the bus on my ass. Smooth Shikamaru, smooth.

Neji peers down at me, trying to coax his smirk back into an expression of cold nonchalance. Great, glad he thinks it's so amusing… "Ehh. Why the hell didn't you just push me off to begin with? Would have saved me the trouble of moving myself…" I tried my best to look as wronged as possible. Hey, if pretending it's no big deal didn't work, at least try to place the blame on someone else, right?

Neji frowned. "…I…You have no right to question…" He paused, seemingly gathering himself before smirking once again "You just looked so comfortable and peaceful subconsciously molesting me."

I'm absolutely positive my face hasn't felt this hot in a long time. "We both know that's not-"

"Do we?" He interrupted "because I don't quite agree, you see, you were acting _very_ affectionate towards me, with the nuzzling and whatnot."

"…"

I decide it's best to not waste my breath with a response, or at least one beyond complaints about 'scary girly-boys and their fantasies'. Pulling myself up off the aisle while muttering a string of complaints, I plop myself down next to the Hyuuga again, folding my arms and pointedly looking in the other direction. He doesn't say anything more, thankfully, so neither do I. Though he's silently fuming beside me, I can sense it. Maybe he doesn't like being referred to as being girly…

As soon as the bus pulled up in front of the school I was out of my seat and making my way down the aisle before anyone else, quickly hightailing it into the school building as soon as I stepped out of the vehicle. If my mother had been here to see how fast I moved, she would have probably had a heart attack. Oh well. Extreme situations call for extreme measures. Avoiding Hyuuga for at least one day is worth over exerting myself. Maybe. Besides, if all the running around and dodging dangerous confrontations made me too tired, there was always a desk with my name on it, right?

* * *

**Sasuke POV**

Witnessing Nara Shikamaru flat out run at full speed into the school building like he actually _wanted_ to be there made me realize something.

Clearly, apocalypse was upon us.

I continued to stare out of the bus window, wondering what was up with the Nara kid (though not really caring) while waiting for the bus to clear. It is best to avoid crowds as much as possible when you are an Uchiha, 'accidental' groping simply happens far too often for comfort. As soon as the bus was mostly clear, I made my way off and towards a promising day at school. Only not really. Once off the bus I caught sight of the Hyuuga boy not too far ahead of myself. He and I aren't what you would call friends, but we tolerate each other. He doesn't talk to me, I don't talk to him, he doesn't hate me, I don't hate him. Pretty simple really.

I lengthened my stride until I caught up with Neji, matching his pace and considering his profile. He looked upset. I decided to break the no talking rule between us to ask him what was wrong.

"What's up with you?"

Neji turned his head to give me a questioning look.

I shrugged. "It looks like you've seen a ghost. Only people are generally much paler when that happens. Your face is flushed."

Hyuuga's expression changed to one of annoyance, though he seemed more annoyed with himself than me.

"Well ghosts don't generally molest people while they're sleeping and then run off leaving said person highly disturbed."

I almost laughed at that, so was that why Shikamaru was so eager to get away? "Actually I think Uzumaki has recounted a tale about just that happening, so maybe it's more likely than you think. Though I doubt Nara Shikamaru is a ghost."

"Who?" Neji asked quirking an eyebrow.

"Don't tell me you don't know his name, he's the kid that always sleeps in class but still manages to pass. I know he was in phys ed with us a few years ago, you know, Jr. High."

"…That was him, wasn't it? I guess I failed to notice him much then so I didn't really recognize that I had shared a class with him…" At that Neji seemed to drift off into his own thoughts, so I assumed the conversation was over and walked ahead.

The first order of business as I entered the school building was to head straight for the boy's restroom, the bus had got us to school with fifteen minutes to spare and I had too much to drink for breakfast. I skillfully wound my way through the crowds and to my destination from memory. Upon entering the facilities I allowed nature to call, and unlike quite a few guys I could name would, went to wash my hands. As soon as I turned on the faucet the door creaked open loudly and hurried footsteps could be heard making their way across the room along with a "Fucking Kiba, last time I tell him I have to piss really bad! The stupid mutt went and called Sakura over just to stall me!"

Ah, that annoying, whiny voice.

I looked over my shoulder towards the johns to make a comment to the dumb blond about how if he didn't feel the need to announce the status of his bodily functions to the general public he wouldn't have as many problems, but upon seeing the other boy I found I couldn't speak at all. His hands were located down by his crotch, obviously, though one was being used to hold up the length of a skirt. A very cute just-above-knee length, pleated, orange skirt.

…No fucking way.

My mind was whirling as I looked over the rest of Naruto's profile. At the end of the last school year he had foolishly challenged me to yet another fight, claiming that by if some slim chance he actually lost he would cross-dress once a week for the entire duration of the next school year. As always, I had kicked his ass six ways from Sunday. And sure enough, he was also clad in a girly tee with 'FOXY' written across the front in what looked to be some sort of rhinestones. I had not taken his claim seriously and never for even the briefest of seconds thought he would actually…

I opened my mouth to say something insulting only to realize it was already open.

I was staring and had been for quite some time.

By now Naruto was finished and in the process of pulling up his… Oh my god he's wearing panties. Actual women's underwear. I just continued to stare, completely stunned, so stunned apparently, that I failed to have noticed another person enter the restroom. It was likely that the only reason I noticed the black clad stranger now was because he was standing directly behind Naruto, currently wrapping his arms around the other boy's waist.

Naruto tensed, growling in frustration while the boy I didn't recognize (Funny. Naruto seemed to know who it was without even looking) chuckled.

"Aw, how cute. You're even using the men's restroom?"

"Get off of me, Sai."

"No, I don't think I will. Unless you admit you're really female."

Naruto snorted "I've already told you I'm not! I know I make a damn hot chick but really, get away from me!" At that the blond forcefully pulled the other's arms away from him.

"Waah, Naruto-baby, you're no fun." Sai whined.

Naruto just rolled his eyes and made his way for the door, (not intending to wash his hands. Disgusting.) only to stop dead when he caught sight of me for the first time, still standing by the sinks watching the exchange. He slowly turned his body towards me, eyes widened, apparently shocked.

"Sasuke…."

Ah, here comes the rant about how real men don't sneak up on people and that I should be ashamed of myself. That rant is sure to be endlessly followed by even more rants, probably all dealing with him informing me that he never goes back on his word and that wearing women's clothing doesn't make him any less manly. He's so fucking annoying. He'll probably follow me to class just to make more time to-

"Are you blushing?" His question was so sincere that I realized I must be. Fuck, am I?


	3. Misunderstandings in shining armor

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto, and am not making money off of this.

**Authors note:** Any sort of feedback would be a godsend. I know I'm really awful at writing, but I want to improve. Even saying that you could stand reading it and would/wouldn't like more would be great.

Please?

* * *

**Tayuya POV**

Today is not my fucking day. I had been through a mere three classes and already someone decides to start shit. The bitch is just lucky that the teacher is known for being late as hell. I can tell she's the type that's too fucking afraid to speak out when any form of authority is around.

Last time I checked ridiculously long hair and intentionally high-pitched voices were not cute, and especially not sexy. This is all well and dandy, I don't care that the chick with these traits isn't sexy, it's when she's utilizing them as if she were that gets on my fucking nerves. Even then I don't really give a fuck, but when she feels the need to comment on the way I sit, it gets personal.

Currently, everyone within earshot has turned around to watch the exchange between this_ Kin_ girl and I. Some were just discretely paying attention, head tilted slightly in our direction. That kind of shit pisses me off even more than obvious staring. Fucking cowards.

"Honestly, what's wrong with you? I would say you sit like a man, with no decency whatsoever, but I haven't even seen a guy do that before." She has a falsely sweet smile plastered on her face, it's disgusting.

I swing my right leg, which is hanging over the side of my single desk, back and forth to show how much I care. "Sorry Shitheart, but I think I'll put my legs wherever the fuck I want."

Kin's smile turned up into something more sinister as she made a show of whispering something to her group of friends. Their laughter was overly loud and obnoxious.

"What the hell is so funny?" She's not worth my time but I figure it's polite to ask.

Kin makes a snobbish sniffing noise as she shifts to look at me once again. "Oh, nothing of interest really. We were just discussing how often putting your legs 'wherever the fuck you want' is 'open and wrapped around some guy'."

At that I was up out of my seat and slamming my hands on the desk. _How dare she_. "How the FUCK would you know!?"

Her smile widened and eyes narrowed in mirth, apparently pleased with my reaction. "Oh, a little birdie told me. His name is Kidomaru. Oh, and Jirobo, though how you got your legs around him I'll never know," at this point she was holding up her fingers, adding a new one every time she said a new name. "The twins Sokon and Ukon, at the same time too I hear, aaand there was also that one guy, what was his name again? Oh yes, Shikamaru, you were always kicking him around in middle school. Such a funny way to show affection, don't you think?" She finished with the question, regarding me as if she actually wanted an honest answer.

I was infuriated, fingernails futilely trying to dig into the fake plastic wood of the desktop. I was close to pouncing on her, scratching her eyes out, anything _anything_ to shut her up. I wanted so badly to put that lying bitch in her place, I really did, but my control was faltering, and I couldn't risk beating the shit out of someone in the middle of the classroom and on the first day of school to boot. I knew if I opened my mouth now I wouldn't be able to stop myself form what may come next. I did the only thing I could do, I knocked over my desk and began to hastily make my way for the door. I didn't dare chance a glance in Kin's direction, and when she added "My, I'm jealous of you Tayuya, not every woman is so gifted in the art of being such a _slut_." I waved my middle finger politely behind me before slamming the classroom door shut.

* * *

**Shikamaru POV**

By lunch time on Friday I was thoroughly convinced that avoiding Neji was the least of my problems. We have several classes together and during each and every one all school week, he hasn't said a word to me. Not that I'm complaining, though I wish that he wouldn't stare at me when he thinks I'm not looking. It was Friday in fact, that he finally acknowledged me directly at all.

I had been stopped in the hallway on my way to the cafeteria by a very angry looking Tayuya. Half way through my sixth grade year some teacher had this bright idea that I should tutor Tayuya whenever possible during the school day and for a few hours after school twice a week. My high test scores seem to always come back and bite me in the ass, somehow. During that time she made it clear that she disliked (I'm sure being a whole grade level below her and deemed as more intelligent didn't win me any points in my favor) me greatly, pushing me over and tripping me in the halls every chance she got. Still, she seemed to have grown kind of fond of me. I wouldn't go as far as saying we were friends, but we were comfortable around each other, not total strangers. I respect her as much as it is possible for me to respect a woman.

Tayuya is like me in a way, above average intelligence, but no motivation to use it. Though where I refuse to do as much as possible by putting my head down and blocking out the world, she lashes out with rude comments and often times violence. Which I found really fucking scary up until the point where she told me that I was just as bitchy as a woman, laughed, admitted that I wasn't so bad, and proceeded to pull my pony tail until I fell out of my chair. After that she was just as scary as any other female, which is still pretty scary, but the point is I no longer feared for my life.

So since we were on decent terms and all, I was more than a little confused as to why I was being shoved up against the lockers and snarled at.

"Why the fuck did you say that!?"

Wait, what? I hadn't said anything yet… "Ow woman, can't you just say hello like a normal pers- OW! YOUR NAILS ARE DIGGING INTO MY- WHAT THE HELL!?" She was forcibly holding me against the lockers, her long fingernails digging into my shoulder.

"That's exactly what I want to know! I know you know what I'm talking about, shithead!"

"No, I don't know, now would you get off! I'm not exactly into this sort of thing, and while you're at it could you start making sense-"

She slapped me. Hard.

"…What was that for?" I would like to think that I wasn't physically cowering away from her at this point.

"_I cannot believe you_! You of all people are the last I would expect to fucking lie about shit like that!"

"I never lied about anything, what're yo-"

Tayuya growled in frustration, raising her hand to slap me again. I shut my eyes tight, bracing for the impact I was so sure would come. It didn't.

What?

I slowly opened my eyes to catch sight of Tayuya, head turned and glaring at Hyuuga Neji, who had grabbed her by the wrist thoroughly preventing her from striking me.

"What the hell do you want!?"

Neji shrugged casually, acting as if he hadn't just saved me from severe pain. "For you to not harm my friend."

"He isn't your friend." Tayuya snapped so matter-of-factly that a briefly considered the possibility of her being a stalker…Nah.

"And you would know this how?" He asked raising his eyebrows.

"I would hope I'd know, seeing as how I'm _sleeping with him_." The last part was directed at me with a glare and with such venom that I was honestly glad Neji was there to save me.

At her words Neji faltered slightly, blinking at her for a moment before releasing her wrist, instead allowing his hand to rest on his hip. "Ah. Relationship troubles, I see. Carry on then."

As Neji began to take his leave, I panicked, wriggling out of Tayuya's grasp (easier than expected, she had been distracted by Neji's arrival) and rushing towards the other boy. I almost knocked us both over as I crashed into him, clinging to his arm for support.

"E-Excuse me?" Neji mumbled in surprise, staring down at me and looking taken aback.

Begging was not below me when the situation called for it, and I was really afraid at this point. It was obvious she thought I had said something I didn't, and women could get lethal when accused of something as serious as that. I couldn't possibly even attempt defend myself against her without looking like even more of a douche, so my only way out was to use the escape route: Neji.

"Please don't leave me alone with her.." I forced myself to look as pitiful as possible, eyes pleading for him to just go along with it.

Tayuya opened her mouth to say something, but Neji quickly intervened. "Why not? I'm sure you deserve whatever she's going to do to you."

"That's the thing, I don't deserve it, I didn't do anything at all to-"

"I'm not sure I believe that, even I know how much of a pervert you can be, and I have only spoken to you a handful of times."

"…"

Tayuya looked even more pissed, as if Neji's words suddenly confirmed something she didn't want to believe. "So you _were_ going around saying that we... I can't fucking believe that you would…"

"You can't believe it because I never said anything. I don't know what exactly you were told but I can safely say that we both know I would never even think about you like th-" I don't know if it was my words, look of disgust, or the fact that she still didn't believe me that pissed her off, but either way she cut me off by roughly pulling me away from Neji.

"Go to hell, Shikamaru!" She growled the words as her knee swiftly rose to connect painfully with my crotch.

Women are fucking _cruel_.

I barely registered that she had stormed away; I was quite busy writhing on the ground and moaning in pain. I also barely noticed Neji was kneeling at my side until he lightly touched my shoulder and asked if I was okay.

Peering up at him from slightly watering eyes, I mustered the best glare I could under the circumstances as if to say 'does it look like I'm okay?' and after another moment or two I regained my composure somewhat and replied "Some Knight in Shining Armor you are."

He looked surprised and a little too amused by that. "Like you're any better, your girlfriend appears to hate your guts."

"That devil woman is_ not _my girlfriend."

"Oh? So you're just sleeping with her without the dating part? I must say I'm not surprised after what you did to me Tuesday morning. I suppose it accurately shows what kind of person you are."

Okay that's just not funny. "You seem to be dwelling on what happened on the bus more than you should be. I suppose _that_ accurately describes what kind of person you are." I retorted, finally sitting up and dusting off my clothes.

Neji gaped, looking rather offended. "And _what the hell_ do you mean by _that_, Nara?"

What..? "You know my name." it wasn't a question.

"…I…" he faltered as he had done before, looking lost for a moment before his expression turned angry. "Answer the question."

Oh dear, it seems I have just added myself to another woman's hit list.

"Hey, thanks for saving me back there." I stated, getting to my feet. As I began to walk off I added a quick "I appreciate it" before breaking out into a run.


	4. Locker rooms and steroids

**Disclaimer**: If I owned the Naruto series Itachi wouldn't actually be as psycho as he wants Sasuke to believe he is. I can still pray. Though, Naruto would be just as obsessively in love with Sasuke as he is now (whether platonic or not). At least Kishimoto is getting something right.

**Author Note**: I know my chapters have been annoyingly short previously. Honestly I had been too eager to update, hoping that doing so would somehow provide me feedback. I've realized that that way of thinking is seriously flawed. Seriously. Please forgive me, I'm new to fanfiction writing. So yeah, this chapter is me trying to redeem myself. I think it's a decent length. I hope. Sorry if the humor is comprised of one-hundred percent failure. I have bad taste in it. Though if you could stand the humor in the chapters before this one, I think you'll live through more (you're such a trooper, I salute you).

To SilentReaper: I think I love you. Seriously though, thank you so much for reviewing. I hope this chapter isn't overly horrible. Shika/Neji/Shika is one of my favorites too, second only to Kisame/Itachi. Nejishika seemed like such an obscure pairing to me at first, but upon further inspection they're just so skldfjsldbeautiful;fjsdflj! together. I love it.

* * *

**Itachi POV:**

"I am _not going,_ leave me alone, Itachi." the muffled moan came from under pillows and bed sheets.

"Now little brother, it's only the second week of school. Father left me in charge and I don't think he will be happy if he finds out I let you skip already." My little Sasuke doesn't seem to want to get out of bed, this is certainly strange, he is usually set on outdoing me at everything, perfect attendance being one of those things.

It's Tuesday, and he didn't have a problem going to school yesterday. Come to think of it, the first day of school was last Tuesday and poor Sasuke seemed rather upset about something. He had shut himself in his room all afternoon and refused to eat any of the dinner I slaved over the stove to make for us. Personally, I think my culinary skills are quite refined, though Sasuke is most likely sour about that because mother allowed me to help her in the kitchen more often when we were younger. The most Sasuke was allowed to do was lick the spoon. I really do think he should get over that fit of jealousy, seeing as how he helps mother in the kitchen every chance he gets these days. It's a bit of a fun fact that I am saving to mention as soon as he has friends over for a visit, and though that has never happened before I have faith in my little brother to make friends someday.

"I don't care! I'm sick, okay?" Sasuke could be such a child when given the proper incentive. Though I do wonder what exactly that incentive is…

"My baby brother is so stubborn. Tell me, what is it about Tuesday that makes you cower under your covers?"

Sasuke shifts the pillow that is located over his head slightly so he can glare at me. "What makes you think it being Tuesday has anything to do with it?"

Bingo, that glare just gave me all the proof I need. "Oh, just a guess." I shrug causally and carefully sit down on the edge of his bed, placing my hand on his shoulder in an act I hope to be comforting. "What's bothering you little brother? I'm sure you are perfectly aware that you can share anything with me, even your deepest innermost thoughts and desires. All information will be held in strict confidence, of course."

Sasuke quickly sits up, pushing the covers and my hand off of him as he swings his legs over the side of the bed. "Okay, okay! I'll go! Just, please don't ever try to be a decent brother again, it's not in your nature at all."

I frowned "I was going for the motherly approach, honestly..."

Sasuke shuddered before standing up and walking to the door which he opened wide in a gesture that I assume means he wants me gone.

Slowly, as to annoy Sasuke further, I oblige, getting off of his bed and making my way through the door way, which gets slams closed behind me.

"Have fun at school today, little brother."

With that I headed towards the door having already prepared myself for the school day, my book bag waiting safely in my car. Once outside it's a short walk to the driveway and a long drive down it, after that though it's not too far to the school. After a unnecessary four and a half minutes down our all too long drive, I wonder if Sasuke will be okay today riding the bus. He always is, but I worry. I don't bother offering Sasuke a ride anymore, he has declined my gracious offerings to drive him every time since I was bought a car for my sixteenth birthday. This was due to jealousy again, I suspect. He reacts rather ridiculously to things I get from father and mother that he feels he doesn't. (Praise, attention, gifts…)

Sometimes it almost makes me wish mother and father had passed away a long time ago just so I could have a brother that doesn't hate me for reasons I can't control.

Well, that's not entirely true. Mainly, it is father's attention that makes Sasuke most jealous as it's harder to come by. If he were out of the picture…

Sigh. Thinking about these things makes me feel rather upset. I hope Sasuke is proud of himself for putting his only brother through such anguish.

Hope for a change in my mood is inspired when I pull into Konoha High's parking lot and spot the only likable teacher in the entire school fishing around for something in the trunk of his car.

Calmly I exit the car, shrugging my backpack onto one shoulder and shoving the keys into my pocket. He's a few rows ahead of me and more towards the school building, so it's easy to make it look as if I'm just casually walking past him to get into the building. As I approach his car I note he's still bending over into his trunk, completely unaware of me standing behind him admiring the view. I get bored after a minute or so of watching him, so I proceed to casually walk past him to move down the small aisle created by his and another car parked side to side. This is when he notices me, pausing his search and greeting me with the same kind politeness that he usually does.

"Ah, good morning Itachi, you're here early."

I pause and turn to face him, smiling ever so slightly and looking as if I hadn't known he were there when I first walked by. "I am. Though aren't teachers supposed to be here much earlier? If you are just getting here, no offense Mr. Hoshigaki, but I do believe you are late."

"Me? Late? For a date with you? Never." He teased, grinning.

"Don't be ridiculous. Dates with underage students could lead to the law being broken. I imagine that would be embarrassing for one of us. You know I wouldn't put you through that." I teased back, though my tone was far more serious than my teachers.

"Yeah, I suppose it would be embarrassing, considering the subject I teach now. Can't say a pretty young lady like yourself wouldn't be worth it though." He tossed me a showy wink and went back to shuffling through the papers in his trunk.

I knew I was smiling slightly to myself while I lingered by his car. Even I knew it was out of character for me to have such a stupid smile on my face. Well, not quite. Truthfully, it's only out of character when I'm not around him.

Kisame Hoshigaki was always so comfortable around me; the conversation between us was always light and easy. It was apparent that he didn't see me as every other adult saw me. He didn't think of me as Itachi Uchiha, the perfect student who threatened the intelligence of everyone on the planet. Itachi Uchiha who can get whatever he wants, including you fired. Kisame wasn't afraid to talk to me casually, to joke around with me, something the majority of people, especially teachers, were afraid of. This had taken me by surprise when I was in his government class in my first year of high school. It was just the kind of person he was though, equally friendly towards everyone.

His humor tends to be playfully cruel at times, something I find rather bold for a teacher due to how easily it could be taken the wrong way and result in the loss of his job. Mr. Hoshigaki never means any harm though; he is always popular with his students for not being afraid to sink down to their level while taunting them during class. At first I was annoyed by how his lessons were constantly lead off track to hypothetical conversation only loosely related to the topic due to his always humoring the less than intelligent questions he would get from students. After a while though I couldn't help but be amused and join in. I was honestly sad at the end of the year when I realized I wouldn't be in his class anymore.

This lead me to join the school swim team my sophomore year. At first I felt all too like a cat drowning in a puddle, but Mr. Hoshigaki is a great coach and I'm great at everything I do, so it worked out. Father didn't approve of me joining a sport at first, thinking that I need to focus only on academics, though after I briefly explained to him the positive effect physical activity can have on someone mentally, he accepted it. Although he is still far from approving of Mr. Hoshigaki after being required to go to one of the team's parent meetings (he would have met him before that if he had bothered to go to any of the parent teacher conferences in my freshmen year, but apparently those are below parents of gpa-over-4.0 students), because obviously a teacher with blue hair is less intelligent and a far less respectable man than one with natural colored hair. Personally, I like his hair. It's a dark blue so it looks almost normal, probably wouldn't even be noticeable if the way he spiked it up didn't draw so much attention to it.

"Ah-ha! I knew I had put them in here." Kisame said as he resurfaced from his trunk with a stack of papers.

I raised an eyebrow, carefully eyeing the stack "and here I expected you to drag out Deidara's lifeless body."

"No," the blue haired man began as he shut the trunk of his car with a slam. "I keep the sea of corpses in my minivan, you know, the one with the built in Jacuzzi on the hood. Actually, the corpses are soaking _in_ the Jacuzzi. Sometimes I'll get pulled over by the law because mysterious fowl-smelling liquid sloshes over onto the road."

"I see. So does that mean I don't have to worry about Deidara setting fire to the contents of my locker today?"

"Unfortunately no, not by my doing at least. As we all heard, Tsunade was furious with him."

"I imagine so. The janitor couldn't have been too happy with having to scrape the clay habitat off of three-fourths of the music hall either." The entire thing had been rather impressive, but Deidara wasn't the brightest, and applying the clay directly to the tiled floor and pale colored walls of the hallway wasn't the smartest thing he has ever done.

"I just feel sorry for the birds." Kisame remarked, looking sullen.

"You don't feel guilty at all that he got into trouble by taking your advice in the first place?" I looked my teacher over as we began walking side by side towards the school building after he checked his watch and gestured that it was time to head in.

He shrugged. "I merely suggested that my class isn't a bus stop, and if he insists on sleeping he might as well leave and go do something he sees as being more appropriate for the last period of the day. Not my fault he took me up on that offer."

That reminded me that I still hadn't thanked him for taking up teaching the schools Personal Law class. "Mr. Hoshigaki." I paused just outside the door leading inside the building. No one was around yet, it was still about fifteen minutes too early.

Kisame paused as well, looking down at me with slight curiosity. "Hm?"

"Your class," I began, lacing my fingers together in front of me and tilting my head to the side slightly. I stared at the taller man intently "I could hug you."

The older man grinned, knowing that I was trying to express my complete and utter thankfulness in the fewest words possible. "The position was open." He offered shrugging.

"I missed being in your class."

"I know." Was his reply as he grinned at me for another few moments before adding "I kind of figured that you couldn't get enough of me after you tried joining the swim team having no experience or interest whatsoever."

I narrowed my eyes at him as he tapped his finger against his chin in mock thoughtfulness. "You know, I probably wouldn't have even given you a chance if you weren't so cute out there splashing around like a bag of kittens thrown off a bridge." He said as though he were reminiscing over a fond memory.

If I had been anyone else, I might have blushed. Even if it was just a joke.

"You know, I might not have joined if _you_ didn't look so cute in your swimming suit."

Kisame laughed, raising his eyebrows and looking pointedly down at the area around the vicinity of my crotch. "Oh, trust me, I look nowhere as cute as you do in your drag suit."

At that I did feel my cheeks heat up a little, so I turned towards the doors and away from him, crossing my arms over my chest before speaking. "If Deidara were here I'm sure he wouldn't miss the opportunity to tell you to go directly to jail after having not passed Go and not having collected the two hundred dollars."

He laughed again "I assure you I have no intentions of ever playing Monopoly with you… with either of you, actually."

"I have to agree with you there, I'm almost afraid to see how Deidara might try and incorporate his 'art' into the game."

After Kisame merely nodded in agreement we settled into a silence. My back was still to him, but I could feel his eyes on me. I didn't mind in the least but it made me a bit uncomfortable after his previous words. Still, it wasn't that I minded or thought they were inappropriate; I just simply am not used to feeling embarrassment towards anything. The few times it does happen it's always around him.

I know most people might feel disturbed by a man more than ten years their senior, not to mention their teacher, talking with them in such a casual way that boarded on flirting. If being disturbed was the normal reaction, mine was the exact opposite. It's not as if I'm giving him any indication to stop teasing me like that anyway, since I respond in the same manner. I have never really been into the whole relationship drama scene, but if my exchanges with Kisame could be considered flirting then I can understand why other people enjoy this type of thing so much.

I felt two light pats on the top of my head as Kisame walked by to pull open the door and hold it open for me. I stared at him, wondering why he was treating me like a dog now (or perhaps a kitten?). The teacher bowed slightly and gestured inside with his free hand "After you, mademoiselle"

Rolling my eyes, I walked past him and through the doors. "Thank you, kind sir. You are quite the gentlemen."

The door audibly clicked shut and Kisame's footsteps could be heard following me down the hall. "Well, I have been told I am quite the charmer."

At his words I turned around, walking backwards down the near deserted hallway and nodding in agreement "Oh yes, you really are." I feigned swooning, fanning myself with a hand before turning sharply down another hallway without a backward glance towards my teacher.

"I expect you in my class last period, don't skip!" He called after me as a goodbye.

As if I would dream of it.

* * *

**Hinata POV:**

The class was so noisy that it was almost quiet. That might just be because my head is buried in my arms on top of my desk and I am paying their voices no attention in order to favor my thoughts. Its geometry class and I've finished the work a whole fifteen minutes ahead of schedule. I've always been decent in any math class I've taken and should probably be in a higher one by now but I guess I was just overlooked for gifted classes in middle school. I don't really mind. Though the possibility of getting far enough ahead to be able to catch up and be in the same class as Neji would be interesting. It's really too bad I'll never be able to catch up to him.

Speaking of Neji, he's been acting really strange as of late. I suspect the cause of his abnormal behavior has something to do with Shikamaru and possibly the girl who always sits next to me on the bus. He's quite persistent in badgering me with questions about them, mainly Shikamaru. I don't really know him very well other than through Kiba.

Kiba is one of my few friends; I met him in sixth grade when he very kindly offered me a place to sit at his lunch table. Lunch had always been awful for me because everyone sat with their friends and it felt really awkward having to sit at a table of strangers who most likely ended up telling you to go away because the seat is taken. It was often a very traumatizing experience for me and I would always feel like crying and sitting on the floor to eat. Luckily I only had to go through two weeks of that before Kiba had called out something along the lines of "Hey girl! You look like a lost puppy, you can come sit on my lap and I'll share my food with you if you're good!" Thinking back on that now, if I hadn't been so innocent and oblivious to the childish vulgarity of what he was saying, I would have probably been even more traumatized than I already was. It turned out alright though, because a very heroic blond boy had hit Kiba over the head and apologized for him before pulling out a chair at their table for me like a gentlemen.

That blond boy, Naruto, has been my hero in more ways than one since that day. Admittedly, we don't really talk to each other much, but I listen to him talk to others at the lunch table and whenever I am invited to go with them to places. If he ever notices someone giving me trouble he'll intervene, and if there's no one else around for him to talk to, he'll talk to me. So I'm happy. He's even the reason Neji is more considerate and nicer to me now, though Neji still harbors a small grudge towards me. It's really amazing that Naruto could change the closed minded way Neji used to think; Neji is not often affected by what people do or say to him. This is also why it's amazing that he's so… _interested_ in Shikamaru. I really want to ask him about it, but I know he'll just ignore me or skillfully avoid the question if I tried.

I am pulled from my thoughts when there is a light tap on my shoulder. Instantly I jerk into a sitting position with my head up and turned towards the direction of the poke. My line of vision is filled with shiny bowl-cut hair and pouting lips. I recognize the boy as Lee, one of Neji's friends.

"Hinata Hyuuga, have you already finished?"

"Y-yes, did you need help Lee?"

"Ah! You remember me! My heart is filled with joy and relief! I would be honored if you would explain how to get angle QSP for question number six!"

"Sure thing," my eyes fall to my own completed paper for a moment before meeting Lee's again. "S-since they are adjacent they're supposed to form a straight line b-because, see it says here to find the missing angles in the linear pair?" Lee looks a bit lost already as I lean over the aisle to point at the directions on his paper. "Basically u-um the two angles are supposed to equal one hundred and eighty degrees. S-so see the angle measure they already gave you?" I point again at his paper.

"…AH! This is truly genius! So I subtract this number from one eighty and I get the other angle?"

I nod. Lee quickly solves the problem; we compare answers just to make sure. Upon getting it right, Lee stands up and hops over the right side of his desk and into the aisle to the left of my desk. "I cannot thank you enough for your help!" Lee quickly wraps his arms around me in a too tight hug. I try to stutter an "R-really Lee it's no problem" but the lack of air stalls me and he is quickly ushered back to his seat by the teacher before I get a chance to react properly.

He smiles sheepishly at me from his desk and mouths a silent 'thank you', I manage to wave my hands in a gesture of 'oh, no don't worry about it' before the bell rings and he's out the door before anyone else.

I wonder where he's so eager to get to before I realize that he's also in my next class. Gym. I heave a sigh and slowly pack my things as my heart starts beating faster. It's the understatement of the century to say that I don't enjoy that class. I've gotten used to the having to change in front of other people part as well as the getting hit with things all the time part. It's the constantly having to be in teams and have partners part that I don't enjoy. Gym teachers usually always seem to split everything by gender, making the boys play together and have the girls in a separate game. This wouldn't be a problem for me but all of the friends I have are male and… it's just really awkward having to ask someone I don't know to partner up with me. It's sort of like the lunch thing. Everyone already has people they can pair with, and it just feels really horrible being the odd one out. I know I have friends and I'm not really alone, but I can't stop feeling as if I'm going to burst into tears whenever the teacher orders for us to get into groups. Or at least that's how it was in middle school; I can only hope this teacher will be different. I've been lucky so far because last weeks gym classes were great since we didn't actually do anything, but the actual physical part was supposed to start to day.

When I arrive at the gymnasium the teacher (who has proclaimed that it makes him feel more youthful if we just address him as 'Gai') is directing everyone towards the back of the rather large room where the stairs leading down into the separate gender locker rooms are located. I follow the rest of the girls down into the locker room feeling glad that I remembered to bring my gym uniform today. The uniform was simple and consisted of a lose fitting white and green tee-shirt with the school logo (some sort of swirly leaf) on it. The shorts are also a grassy green color, they are a little less conservative than I would usually wear, only coming down to a little above mid-thigh, but they were wearable I guess.

Once in the locker room, I pressed my back against the wall and looked around for a somewhat secluded place. The room was fairly large and tan colored lockers (only tall enough to be just above everyone's heads) split the whole thing into about fifteen or so rows with benches in the aisle of each row. There also appears to be doorway at the far end of the room that leads into another which contains the showers. I really doubt anyone actually uses those though since I don't think showering is required anymore, thank goodness.

I opt for waiting until the crowed thins out some before finding a place to change. Once almost everyone seems to have left I carefully wander down the main aisle, subtly looking down the aisles between the lockers hoping to find one that's vacant. As I approach the end of the room there's hardly anyone around and just as I'm about to go down one of the empty aisles to change, I abruptly stop because of the sound of hushed voices coming from one row up. As I inch closer and listen harder I realize they must be arguing.

"I'm not going to let you go until you tell me exactly what you did with him, little girl." A high feminine voice hissed.

"With who!? And watch what you call me, bitch." That voice I recognized as the girl that occupies the other half of my bus seat every morning, Tayuya.

"Don't play dumb, you know who-" after recognizing Tayuya's voice, I quickly recall who the other voice must belong to, a girl named Kin who has been constantly ruffling Tayuya's feathers since last Tuesday.

Tayuya cut the other girl off. "No, I don't have a fucking clue, that's kind of why I asked you dumbass."

Kin sighed in exasperation "Zaku."

There was a pause before Tayuya spoke up sounding almost as if she were speaking to herself "So that's what this is about."

"Yes, now that we understand each other… explain. Now. I want to hear you say it." The venom in Kin's voice was followed by a soft shuffling of feet and light thump against the lockers.

When Tayuya spoke, her voice sounded strained, almost a little frantic. "If you're looking for some fairy tale about the whole incident then you're talking to the wrong person. The fucker tripped me and then tried to save himself from an ass kicking by inviting me inside to offer me bandages and Neosporin."

"Like I would believe that! You might as well have said he lured you into his house with candy!"

"Either way the one waving the candy in the _little girl_'s face is the one at fault." Tayuya's tone was still off, kind of like she was being forced to talk.

I willed myself to peek around the row of lockers just to make sure no one was being held at gunpoint just in time to see Kin angle what appeared to be a box cutter more towards Tayuya's jugular. Her back was to me and she had Tayuya pinned successfully to the metal lockers. The hand Kin held the blade in was shaking in what I'm guessing was anger. Apparently Tayuya didn't know when to quit because she added "I would be questioning why you're so damn pissed off and jumping to conclusions, but honestly I see why he would want to cheat on you. You're a fucking crazy bitch, I'm glad you seem to understand that though."

Kin jerked Tayuya roughly forward only to slam her back against the lockers again, the hand containing the box cutter was shaking even more violently now, liable to slip at any given moment. What was Tayuya thinking, she was in no position to be taunting the other girl like that! I noticed how badly I too was shaking, though for an entirely different reason, just as I realized I was the only one around. I _have_ to do something. Tayuya is in trouble and a small amount of blood is trickling down her neck and soaking into her shirt, and Kin is shouting something and I can't even make out the words because I'm taking a step forward and I don't know what I'm doing and_ I'm so f-fucking afraid_.

I tell myself to be like Naruto, be brave like him. But I'm no fool, I know I'm _not_ brave like him, I can't rush in and save the day like he would- like almost anyone else would. As I walk into the center of the aisle the two girls are in and their heads turn towards me, my lack of bravery is only confirmed. It's too late to back out now though. My mind goes blank, I don't know what to do and even if I did I know I wouldn't be able to actually do it. So I do the only thing I can think of: what I originally came for.

I force myself to smile sheepishly at them, uttering a quick "H-hello T-Tayuya. Kin."

Noting the surprise in both of their features I drop my gaze to the bench at my feet, setting my backpack on it. I unzip one of the compartments with trembling fingers as Kin hisses something not meant for my ears. I couldn't make out what she was saying and I could barely even register the sound of her footsteps departing down the opposite end of the aisle, my heart was pounding too loudly in my ears. It made me feel sick.

I pulled my gym shirt from my bag despite the violent shaking of my hands. I knew I shouldn't be so nervous and scared anymore, Kin was gone. I just couldn't help it. Part of me couldn't even believe I was here a few feet away from where they had been. I knew I had done nothing heroic, it wasn't even a big deal by normal standards, but I just couldn't stop my heart from pounding and my knees from wanting to collapse under me.

A light tap on my shoulder caused me to jerk my head up.

"You." Tayuya greeted, standing before me absently rubbing her neck with one hand.

I stared wide-eyed at the blood being smeared by her fingers "N-n-n y-your n-neck." I managed to say rather dumbly. I knew my shaking and quick breathing (bordering on hyperventilation) was obvious. Being aware of how weak and stupid I looked caused my probably pallid complexion to gain some color.

The older girl snorted. "This? It's only a tiny slice. Sorta like a cat scratch maybe. Only it's being real overdramatic and bleeding more than it ought to." She looked me over for a moment. "I'm more worried about you. You look like you're about to pass out, what the hell is-"

"I'm fine." I cut her off as I fumble to unzip my jacket. Proving I can do normal things like change clothes is an example of being fine, right? My hands are still shaking so badly that as soon as my jacket is off I can't even hold on to it and it falls to the floor. I stare at it for a moment, almost not believing that I had dropped it.

Chancing a glance up at Tayuya, I notice she's watching me skeptically so I decide to leave the jacket where it is and work on removing my shirt. I fumble with it and somehow manage to pull it off after only a moment or three of struggling. Tayuya is still watching me. This causes my cheeks to flush an even deeper red, partly from the embarrassment of being watched, and partly from the fact that my bra is admittedly childish, having kittens printed on it as well as frills and small ribbon bows along the edges. Discreetly covering up the embarrassing lilac colored undergarment, I reach for my gym shirt. Trying to tug it on with one not so stable hand I find is a rather difficult task for me.

Tayuya heaves an annoyed sigh, apparently fed up with my failure to put on a shirt properly. My gym shirt is abruptly snatched from my grasp. I look at the girl before me questioningly.

"Arms up." She instructs in a way that allows no room for objections.

Hesitantly I raise my arms over my head. Tayuya steps closer in order to slip the shirt on for me. Her body is only a few inches away from being flush against mine. The close proximity is causing my face to heat up even more. My body jerks slightly when I feel her hands running down my sides. My mind races franticly trying to come up with reasons why she would be doing that. It takes me a minute to realize she's just trying to smooth down my shirt.

Stepping back Tayuya looks me over with a small smile etched into her features. I want to look down at my feet where it is safe but I can't seem to tear my gaze away from her face. She was really pretty when she smiled, I had never noticed before. Probably because I don't think I've ever seen her smile. I was disappointed when her expression turned to a mix of surprise and horror.

"Shit! Your shirt, I didn't mean to!" she slapped her forehead repeatedly "I'm such a fucking idiot!!"

"W-wha…?" upon looking down I instantly knew what she meant. Blood from her fingers had been smeared on various places all over my shirt. "O-oh! It's no big deal, r-really."

"Good! It better not be because I didn't fucking mean it and that would be pretty shitty of you to hate me for something I didn't do." Tayuya glared accusingly, she didn't trust me not to be upset with her.

"I-I'm not Kin." I smiled at her reassuringly. Tayuya looked taken aback. She seemed to be searching my words for double meaning, so I elaborated. "It isn't h-hard to hear the gossip going around about you, T-Tayuya. I k-know what Kin and the others have been saying a-and I don't t-think you should be-" my words abruptly ceased when I was roughly shoved backwards.

"You don't think I should be _what_!? Ashamed!? Ha, and for a moment there I thought you were different. How fucking wrong I was. You're just like the rest of those shitheads, easily believing anything you hear without even-"

"N-no! You m-misunderstood!" The anger and betrayal in the girl's voice had caused me to back up against the cool metal lockers. I poke my fingers together nervously as I open my mouth to explain further before she gets the wrong idea. "Y-you shouldn't be g-getting so upset over what they're s-saying. A-anyone who believes lies about you and then goes spreading them around even more like it's the latest t-trend isn't worth y-your time."

The anger radiating from Tayuya drains somewhat, though I can tell she's fighting it. She clearly believes that I'm just trying to say what she wants to hear in order to escape a potential beating. That information both frustrates and relives me. At least I am saying the right thing.

"Don't fucking say that as if I don't already know."

"I'm sorry…" I look down awkwardly feeling like there's something more I should say. I've already used up my courage quota for the day and giving words of comfort now is beyond my skill level.

Tayuya sighs in defeat, no longer able to stay angry (probably due to how pitiful I look). "Look, we're already a good fifteen minutes or so late. We should probably try to come up with an excuse for why we were down here so long."

I had no idea how it was possible to forget you had a gym class to attend while you could hear the clattering of footsteps and balls bouncing on the gym floor overhead, but it happened. "B-but what could we possibly…?"

Tayuya smirked "Well, I'm currently bleeding. We could always say I got cut somehow and you were helping me clean and bandage it."

"It's n-not clean and bandaged though… I d-don't carry bandages on me e-either…" I pointed out hesitantly.

She shrugged "Then you were in the middle of it and ended up fainting from being around the wound for too long. Can you pretend to be unconscious?"

"W-what?"

"I'll carry you up, explain, and say I have to take you to the nurse's office. Only we won't actually go."

The whole plan sounded a bit overdramatic, but what other excuse could we use to get both of us out of trouble? Actually, it was me that didn't have any possible excuse by myself. Tayuya was the one helping me. "O-okay…" I agreed, still hesitant.

"Alright, but you're shaking like a leaf, girl. That'll give it away that you're not really unconscious." At that she wrapped her arms around me, pulling me close into a warm embrace. "Calm down. Why are you so nervous? If I was going to hurt you I already would've, and Kin isn't down here waving that pathetic excuse for a weapon around anymore, so what's the deal?" she spoke softly, one of her hands rubbing soothing circles on my back in attempt to sooth my nerves.

The whole situation was making me even more nervous. I would have been hyperventilating if my breath hadn't hitched and stopped altogether. It wasn't that I was completely uncomfortable and didn't like her embracing me, it just made me afraid. She was so close, it made me worry about a million different things, like if I smelled bad, if the trembling was bothering her and if she was uncomfortable.

I'm not used to getting hugs, at least not his kind. Usually they are just quick hugs of thanks. I have never been fully comforted like this since I was a child. Even then I would be sobbing into my mother's shoulder; not feeling my knees get weak and my face get hot like I had just seen Uzumaki Naruto showering.

Tayuya chuckled, her breath fanning across my ear. I flinched. She had to be aware of the effect she was having on me but she continued to hug me for another long moment or two. My only guess as to why is that maybe she needed the hug even more than I did.

Pulling back finally, Tayuya grinned. "I guess we could just say you're in shock instead." That was my only warning before the other girl hoisted me up to carry me bridal style. I squeaked as she lifted me, wrapping my arms around her neck and clinging to her.

As Tayuya began walking towards the stairs leading up to the gym, I could only pray that this worked.

* * *

**  
Neji POV**: 

Screw stress balls, screaming into pillows, punching walls, and various other forms of stress relief; glaring holes into the back of Shikamaru Nara's head was more satisfying by far. For the past week my thoughts have not been able to stop drifting towards the lazy brunette, it infuriated me to no end. Why am I so hung up on him anyway, because he felt me up in his sleep? That only happened once and he hadn't even been conscious at the time. So I can't use being annoyed at him for having the hots for me as an excuse. In fact, because I can't seem to get the other boy off my mind it would seem more likely that _I'm_ the one that has that has the hots for _him_.

If I hadn't known first hand that that particular notion is completely ridiculous, I might have believed it.

Though, perhaps I am just too convinced I am asexual to believe I actually might have enjoyed Shikaruru's hand roaming up my shir- fuck, I just gave him some sickening pet name while referring to him in my thoughts again, didn't I? I'm starting to become more pissed off at myself than anyone else. I'm even going to admit that it's my own fault and not blame it on the peaches and cream instant oatmeal I had at Lee's house on Sunday (I'm not above believing that everything Lee owns is laced with some sort of happy drug). This is really unlike me, I've never been infatuated with anyone before.

This didn't make any sense. Until a week ago on the bus I had been thoroughly convinced that I was simply asexual. I knew for sure I wasn't interested in girls, my friend Tenten had already proven that much for me. Back in Jr. High she had been all over me (which had been highly annoying. Why exactly I even consider her a friend now is a long story), and it never once had even the slightest effect on me other than urging me to shove her off. It's not as if her breasts were simply defective either, as the majority of the female population has fawned over me for years, leaving the chance breast malfunctioning highly unlikely.

As for being interested in guys, I've had my fair share of male attention as well. The closest I've ever come to being attracted to a guy (other than Shikamaru, who I am still trying to be in denial about) is in my eighth grade year when Naruto Uzumaki somehow pinned me to the ground and punched me in the face, shouting nonsense about how my views about life were fucked up. Long story short, his nonsense successfully shattered those views. If it wasn't for him I probably would never have been able to be so honest with myself. Though the feelings I harbor for the blonde are more like respect and gratitude rather than attraction. It's definitely good that I don't feel that way towards Naruto because I don't think I would ever be able to make that sort of relationship work with someone so unlike me in personality.

My interest in Shikamaru I don't understand at all. I know next to nothing about him. There's no reason for me care to know him at all, but I want to. I want to so badly that I can't get him out of my head. It doesn't make sense, and I wish I could turn those thoughts off but _I can't_. Going the weekend without being able to see him in class was torture, so much so that I subjected myself to spending time with Lee just for a distraction. It hardly helped. So I've come to the conclusion that for whatever reason, I'm curious about what makes the boy tick. And as far as I'm concerned, curiosity is just as liable to kill the cat if they just let it eat away at them and don't feed it. I figure I might as well try and talk to him as soon as I gain reason to.

I snap out of my thoughts when the overly bright florescent lights of the classroom are switched on, filling the previously dark room with light. While I was in health class supposed to be watching some video on steroids, I had been deep in thought watching the Nara boy sleeping at the table in front of me. When the video finished and the lights were turned on, Shikamaru lifted his head groggily, mumbling something and scratching the back of his head. Oh, how I wish I were at the proper angle to see his 'what the hell, why am I awake. The light hurts my eyes.' expression.

The health classroom was set up with small tables in rows instead of single desks. Each table seated three on one side, the chairs only being placed along one length of the tables so that everyone would be facing towards the front of the class. I was seated at the far right of my table, in front of me at the next table up Shikamaru sat directly in front of me. Beside Shikamaru sat Naruto, and beside him some boy I only knew by name, Sai. There was only myself and one other seated at my table, Sasuke Uchiha, who was sitting at the other end of the table (having left an empty chair between us).

The health teacher, a white haired man by the name of Jiraiya, began to explain the assignment he wanted us to complete having watched the video. "Alright so here's the scenario, don't bother me on the details I don't care if they're realistic or not, that's not the point of this exercise. You've just been hired into a promising career on a professional basketball team. If you take steroids you'll make millions of dollars, but if you don't you'll make less than one-fourth of that. You are never caught doing them, so there is zero risk of jail time. I want a one page paper-" at this several people in the class groaned "-on whether or not you would choose to take the steroids. List pros and cons of doing versus not doing them to help you. Also, I'm requiring you to work in pairs. One of you must write your paper about why you would choose to do steroids, and the other must write one against doing them. You're just in pairs to make sure I get enough people answering both ways, but you should be helping each other so you both know everything. Yes, Naruto, each of you have to do one page. That's two pages. You have until the end of the period to work with partners. If you don't get finished you can work on it at home and turn it in tomorrow." At that the teacher turned around and busied himself the television while the students moved to find partners.

Well, I suppose this is my cue to talk to Shikamaru. I lean across the table and give a sharp tug to the back of his ponytail. The boy ducks and covers, moving his arms to shield his head and ducking down until he's all but under the table. He doesn't even turn around to see who the culprit is, only supplying a hesitant "…E-eh?"

"I need a partner."

At my words Shikamaru takes his time turning around towards me, arms still poised to shield his head from harm. Shikamaru looks me over, probably trying to figure out why I was asking him in the first place. I kept my expression unreadable and stared evenly back at him.

"…Why- er. I would man, but I wasn't exactly on the edge of my seat watching that video." He spoke carefully, his eyes calculating. He probably thought it was better to gauge my reactions to figure out why I was talking to him at all, rather than asking me directly.

"That's fine," I assured. "I also wasn't paying attention. All we need to know are the pros and cons of taking steroids. That was listed at the beginning before I lost interest. So I know them."

Finally, Shikamaru lowered his arms to rest on the back of the chair, using them as a pillow while he was half turned in his seat gazing at me. "So basically we just have to explain whatever position we choose using the pros and cons as examples." He sighed heavily. "That shouldn't take more than a few paragraphs. I hate it when they make us drag things out just to fit in the ridiculous length they require. Boring and pointless."

I shrug. "So make it not boring." Shikamaru just yawns and stares at me. I take that as indication to elaborate. "All that really matters is that you include all of the facts. Other than that it's just useless personal information, morals and such as to why you personally would or wouldn't take them. As far as that goes, it doesn't matter what you put. You can-"

"Make it interesting." He finished for me. Yawning again he added "Too troublesome."

"You were the one complaining about it being boring." I remind him. "No matter, you write yours on the prompt that you want to take the steroids. I'll do the other."

"W-wait why do I have to do that one?" Shikamaru asks me wearily, suspecting I may have some sort of ulterior motive.

I can't help the smirk that graces my lips. "Clearly it'll be more interesting to write."

* * *

**Naruto POV:**

Health class. I very well may be one few people who don't see it as some obscure form of punishment through extreme embarrassment. It's my favorite class once it gets to the Sex education part. Right now less exciting things are being taught, but it'll get to the good stuff eventually.

That's how I used to view health class anyway; right now I'm not so sure if I will be able to stand not skipping it everyday. Actually, no. I won't skip. You won't catch Naruto Uzumaki running away from anything! And that includes a bastard that gets off on pissing me off.

Sai. I hated the guy's guts a total of twenty seconds after meeting him. I could only stand him that long because it took me a little bit to realize why he had seated himself on the ground in front of the bench I was sitting on rather than beside me. The first day of school had been on a Tuesday for some reason, and that just happened to be the day that I had previously picked to dress according to the bet I lost. So I was waiting at the bus stop, totally not remembering that girls close their legs when they sit. Luckily I caught on quickly because of the stupid smile Sai had plastered on his face. I tried to cure that annoying smile with a kick to the face, but no, he was still smiling even after his nose was gushing blood.

The guy just wouldn't leave me alone. He sat behind me once on the school bus and bothered me the entire ride. I know the bastard knows that I'm a guy, but he keeps trying to insist I'm not. It was a huge insult my masculinity. I kept tryin' to tell him that I have a dick (it's kinda hard to miss, I mean come on, it's huge, no, gargantuan!) but he wouldn't stop arguing the point. I'm only in three classes with him since he's probably some sorta brownnoser and in all AP classes. So we're just in Health, Gym, and Art together. All three classes are required for credits or something (Gym is a personal favorite and Health can be funny, Art is the only odd one. I guess I don't mind it since it's an easy class but I'm not really all that interested in it). So all throughout these classes, on the bus, in the hallways and at the bus stop Sai wouldn't leave me alone. I felt like I had a stalker. I always thought havin' a stalker would be sorta neat since they'd be all obsessed and thinking you're god and stuff. But Sai is just creepy. Or at least that's how he was last Tuesday.

Once I started dressing like normal again he completely ignored me and wouldn't give me the time of day. He acted like the whole stalker thing hadn't even happened for the rest of the week! Monday he acts like I'm just any other person too, but then Tuesday rolls around again and he's back to pissing me off! I don't know what game he's playing, but it isn't funny!

His behavior pisses me off even more because I don't even know him. He must've just moved here from somewhere else because I woulda seen him before around the area if he lives close enough to have the same bus stop as I do. So it's either he's new here or he went to a different middle school and just stays inside all the time. I wouldn't doubt that he never sees the light of day seeing as how he's like, vampire pale. His complexion totally just adds to his overall creepiness. Speaking of which, his skin seems to almost glow in the dark classroom. So it's really creepy when I feel a hand on my shoulder and look over to see Sai leaning towards me to say something.

"Pay attention to television Naruto, this information could be useful to you." Sai whispers, his lips way too close to my ear. His expression is that of fake concern as he nods his head towards the television in the front of the classroom before scooting his chair even closer to mine than it already is. He leans his head on my shoulder and goes back to watching the video himself. I'm just about to shove him off when I realize what the video is talking about. The side effects of a woman taking steroids. "I know you're obsessed with the manliness you don't possess, Naruto. I know taking steroids to become manlier may be tempting for you, but chest and facial hair growth is just going too far, honey." Sai muttered, running a finger down my arm causing me to shiver involuntarily.

I growled, thoroughly pissed off and feeling violated at this point. Just as I open my mouth to shout at him I hear the word 'clitoris' and sharply turn my attention towards the TV. Wow. Apparently taking steroids can cause a woman's clitoris to enlarge into the size of a small penis.

My fit of laughter is quickly cut off by Sai. "Oh! So you weren't lying when you told me you had a penis!" his voice was filled with wonder.

I'd had enough. "Fuck you Sai," I growl before roughly shoving him away from me. I would have kicked his ass at that point, but I really don't want to get into trouble this early in the school year. So I have to resist. Okay I lied. I'm mainly resisting because they might start showing diagrams of said enlarged womanly flesh and I can't risk causing a scene and havin' the old pervy teacher kicking me outta class.

"No thank you Naruto. As much as I like you, I just don't think a girl penis so small could get me off." Upon kicking the bastard under the table, his smile broadens. "Unlike the picture of you using the men's restroom I took last week." I could only gape at him, my cheeks heating up. "Oh, no worries. It's just a photo of you from the back. My favorite angle," I catch his wink even though the lights are off. "No offense Narubaby, but you're flat like a little boy up front."

"Just shut the hell up." I mutter, crossing my arms over my chest. What the hell was his problem? Moreover, what the hell is _my_ problem? I try to convince myself that my face is red from anger at being forced to visualize disturbing things involving a not very… dressed Sai. While I silently fume, the boy in question says nothing else. Or, if he did, I didn't hear him.

Soon enough the video is over and the room is flooded with light. The old guy explains what we're supposed to do with the assignment. The perv shot me down when I got all excited to hear that I could just mooch off my partner. Siiiigh. A whollleee page.

Sai immediately starts tugging on my sleeve when we are set free to choose partners.

"No. Get away from me, I'm not being your partner."

"But we do everything together." Sai says this as if it's the most obvious thing ever.

"Uh. No we don't."

"But I walk you to class everyday."

"You chase after me! And what's this 'everyday' thing!? You've not said anything to me since last Wednesday, not counting today." I glared at him hoping that it didn't sound like I actually cared if he ignored me or not. Well, I guess I kind of do. Being ignored pisses me off even more than being harassed.

"That's because you weren't here Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Monday." He pouted.

"Quit playing dumb asshole."

"But Narubaby I'm not-"

"Whatever, Sai. I don't care." I turn my back to the boy in favor of talking to the boy on my other side. "So Shikamaru which parts of the paper are we doing?"

My lazy friend shifted his head, which was resting on his arms, to look at me. "Sorry, but there's no we," he shrugged his shoulders slightly. "That guy over there is holding me hostage and forcing me into doing slave labor." Shikamaru turned his attention back towards Neji.

I made a noise of disapproval. I'm sure a little whining could change his mind-

"Hey. Moron."

"What!?" I snapped turning towards the voice. Oh. Sasuke.

"Get up."

"Why should I, bastard!?"

"You're moving your seat." Sasuke said, staring blankly at me from where he was standing at the end of the table.

"No I'm not. Why the hell would I want to move my seat?"

"So we can get this done before the end of class."

"We." I stated oh so intelligently.

"Yes. Now hurry up, you're going to take all day to write it as it is."

"…What makes you think I want to work with _you_ anyway?" What I really want to know is what makes _him_ think he wants to work with _me_. Seriously, what's gotten into him?

Sasuke's features betray a hint of emotion, anger, frustration and maybe something else, as his eyes flicker briefly over to Sai (who had walked across the room to sharpen his pencil). "Is there someone else you would rather be working with? Hyuuga seems to have gotten to Nara first." By the time he finished speaking he had schooled his expression back into one of uncaring.

"Not really but I still don't want to work with someone like you."

"Whatever," Sasuke starts walking back towards his own seat. "It's not like you would be able to finish by tomorrow anyway. You're too much of an ADD idiot."

"Take that back you bastard! I so could finish by the end of class if I wanted to!"

"That's in less than a half an hour. There's no chance in hell for someone like you."

"When I say I can I fucking mean it!"

Sasuke snorts "Right. I would cook you homemade ramen like a housewife before you ever could finis-"

"DEAL!" I barely had to hear the word 'ramen' before I was out of my seat and enthusiastically dragging it over to the end of Sasuke's table. I would have taken the empty seat in between Neji and where Sasuke was sitting, but Shikamaru was now occupying it.

"…"

"I_ cannot_ wait to see you complete in housewife attire, slaving over a ramen bowl for me! Talk about blackmail material!" Sasuke had yet to take his seat; he was probably disturbed at how quickly I had whipped out a pencil and paper, writing faster than I ever have in my life. Hah, this is great. He'd never be able to back out of this if I fulfill the qualifications. His pride wouldn't let him go back on his word, especially after I've been dressing like a chick once a week just like I had said I would.

I never thought it would've been possible, but Sasuke Uchiha had actually made my day. Girly clothes and creepy stalkers had threatened to ruin it, but out comes warrior waitress Sasuke here to serve ramen and kick ass. Well, the ass kicking part hadn't happened yet, but it made everything sound cooler.

* * *

**Author's note:** And this is the part where I resist begging for reviews. Even thought I pretty much just did. You get the idea. 


	5. Rainwater gel pens

**Disclaimer**: If I owned it, everyone in the series would wear bonnets. All the time. Which they don't. So I don't own it.

**Warnings**: This chapter gets slightly graphic. Uh, limey I guess? Barely anything at all though.

**Author Note**: I'd like to apologize for any errors, I was tired when I proofread it. I am also sorry if you dislike SasuNaru, since it upstages all other pairings in this chapter. We'll get to more of the characters we haven't seen yet _next _chapter. Yay?

By the way, I finally learned how to reply to reviews. I'm a little slow, sorry. ;;

* * *

**Sasuke POV:**

For as long as I have known Naruto, I was certain I found every single thing about him annoying. One thing I learned during yesterday's health period was that Naruto's habitual urge to fidget and shift positions while sitting is rather beautiful. Funny, it used to be one of the things that annoyed me the most. Maybe it was the skirt. Yes, it was probably the skirt; that and his unwillingness to sit still.

I was forced to discreetly and ungracefully drop my pencil a disturbingly large number of times just to get a good view of what was under the table. The fabric of his skirt was riding up his thighs enough for me to see them rub together as he wriggled around in his seat. I even caught a glimpse of black and pink panties. The entire sight was drool-worthy and kept me dropping my pencil again and again just to get another good eyeful, while Naruto was thoroughly distracted with getting that paper done on time, poor thing. I had this awful urge to just wrap my arms around his waist and snuggle my head onto his lap. The entire concept is, well, disgusting. Very disgusting.

I am only willing to admit that I feel these urges because I can logically blame it all on hormones. Yes. Higher powers are getting back at me for thinking that they had spared me those kinds of desires. Goodbye, asexuality, I'll miss you. I'm pretty pissed at the idiot for making me feel things I would rather not, but I'm also glad it's him. I mean, it's not like anything would ever happen, so it's good that it's not some stupid female who wears too much perfume and would all too willingly let me have my way with her. With Naruto, it's impossible, so I won't be tempted to jump him. Much.

On the subject of Naruto, the idiot actually finished the paper and won the bet. I am hoping that if I put it off enough his short attention span will make him forget all about my promise to cook for him. The contents of his paper actually weren't too bad either, a little ridiculous, but not boring at least. He ranted on and on about how parts of him were already so large that despite the effects of the steroids involving shrinking of said parts, they would remain exceptionally large. He also mentioned that the breast growth men experience as a result of taking steroids would be sexy and is also the only thing he needs to have the entire human race fall madly in love with him (because apparently every single woman is already in love with him, and is merely too shy to admit it).

I would have said Naruto's paper won hands down for most creative, if it weren't for the fact that Jiraiya had forced each student to read their paper aloud. Shikamaru Nara's paper took the cake. His read like some sort of autobiography, an epic tale of his dreams to become the idol to every child around the world. The part about the loss of his manhood being worth having his face on cereal boxes was extremely touching. Near the end of the paper he mentioned that his future wife will be too beautiful for him, but she is the least bitchy (though still very bitchy) of all the women in the world. Apparently she wouldn't stay with him unless he makes millions of dollars in order to supply her with the finest hair care products for her to maintain her overly long dark hair. The whole elaborate description of his future life, and the only woman in the he could stand to be around requiring so much money, was amazing. The blush on Hyuuga's face was also quite spectacular.

So it's Wednesday and I'm on my way to my last class of the day, law. It also happens to be the only class I share with my brother. I am looking forward to getting a higher A than him. Currently, we both have full points in every assignment we've done thus far, but I know he's going to slip up at some point. Itachi pays so much attention when the freak of a teacher is talking that I suspect he's doing a lot more than listening. Calling it ogling would be appropriate if I didn't know any better. Also, he completes in-class assignments faster than what would have ever thought was humanly possible. And for what? So he can sit doing nothing the rest of the period? What a loser.

Once I arrive to the class, which is conveniently located at the opposite end of the school from where my class before this one is, I make my way to the far end of the room and take my usual seat by the window. My seat is the second one in the row, a boy with long blonde hair by the name of Deidara occupies the seat directly in front of mine. Beside Deidara in the next row is Itachi, who had the nerve to sit so closely to me on the first day, I refuse to change my seat because that would be like admitting defeat. Adjacent from me and behind my brother is some guy named Sasori. Did I mention that this class is crawling with Itachi's friends? Even sitting behind me is our cousin Tobi, who is really fucking annoying. It didn't take me long to realize how much I absolutely loathe this class.

"Do we have to use pencil, un?" Deidara asks the teacher like a total moron. The teacher is giving us a sheet to bubble in our answers for the test, of course we have to use a pencil.

"Yes. Though when I'm looking through the sheets and I see that you used pen, I will be kind enough to give you a zero." Mr. Hoshigaki said, continuing to pass out tests.

"Unn… I only have pens," the blond moaned "Iiitachiii, lend me a pencil."

"Unlike some people, Deidara, I do not constantly misplace my writing utensils. I manage to only have one and get through the day successfully."

"Sasori, un?" Deidara was practically whimpering. I almost feel sorry for him.

"No."

"Unnnn." God, that guy's speech immediate is really fucking annoying.

Tobi leans over my left shoulder and taps the boy in front of me with a pencil. "Dara, you can use--"

Deidara turns his head sharply towards Tobi, his eyes narrowed into a glare that I would have previously thought impossible for the blonde to conjure. "Get the hell away from me." He snapped. Wow, what the hell happened between those two?

Tobi shrank back in defeat while the blond turned to address the teacher. "Hoshi, I need a pencil!"

At this point the blue haired teacher has passed out everything and is standing at the front of the classroom. "Really Deidara, what grade are you in, it's not my job to supply you with what you're already supposed to bring to class." He pauses for a moment, sighing, before addressing the entire class. "How many of you are freshmen, come on, show of hands" he demonstrates by waving his own hand in the air.

I'm fairly certain I'm the only freshmen in this class, as it is generally meant to be attended by higher grade level students. I show off my wonderful willingness to participate by _not_ raising my hand.

"Ah, good, you're all upperclassmen. That gives you the right to an endless supply of free pencils. Now go find a helpless ninth grader roaming the halls and get your pencil before you run out of time to take the test."

"Are you implying that I beat up one of the midgets, un?"

"Oh, no, of course not. Simple intimidation should work. Forget searching for someone though, there is one in this class after all, this must be your lucky day." The blue haired teacher directs his gaze towards me, grinning. Great.

"Itachi's little tiny baby brother? Intimidating someone that small and adorable is as wrong and forbidden as hitting a girl, un." Deidara sounds overly sincere, as if he's not even trying to tease me and is simply being honest. What the hell, I am not small. The blond turns slightly in his seat to look me over as well as poke me on my cheek. I swat his hand away. "Look! He's pouting! What kind of evil man are you, Hoshi, un? To suggest that I so much as look at this adorable child in a mean way… un." I officially hate all of Itachi's friends or whatever they are to him.

Just to get Deidara to leave me alone, I shove an extra pencil at him but also make sure to swipe the glittery red gel pen from his desk to use as a ransom. A quiet "Return it." is all I offer. The other boy turns around without another word, as if he hadn't just made a big deal about everything.

Dealing with this blond idiot makes me realize how much I miss my own. At least Naruto's adorable when he gets all worked up over things… Gah! That's it, next time I see that… that… king of morons, I'm going to give him a good ass kicking for making me think about him all the time. Wait, that's a lie, I don't think about him all of the time. Never. Why would I? He's an idiot. Also, unattractive. Yes, very unattractive, with his messy golden-yellow hair and tanned skin and shapely body… His cute little navel that I catch glimpses of sometimes when he's jumping around like a hyperactive dumbass is also disgusting. Maybe if I keep telling myself I hate everything about him it'll magically be come the truth. Well, I suppose it is true in a way, I really do hate everything about the blond idiot. Maybe so much so that I start to like everything there is to hate…

The test is pretty straightforward; I complete it easily and in a very small amount of time. Now I'm supposed to read chapter nine in the textbook, which is also accomplished rather quickly. There are about ten minutes or so left of the period, and since everyone has long since finished their tests the class has been given silent permission to talk quietly amongst themselves. I tune out Deidara and Sasori's bickering and Tobi's quiet muttering to himself, waiting patently for the bell to ring.

Soon enough, the bell does ring, but I wait a moment before standing as to avoid the thicker part of the crowd heading for the door. Tobi shoots out of his seat quickly, immediately dashing for Deidara and latching onto the boy's arm. Deidara, not seeming too happy about this, scowls and shoves the annoyance away, hard. Tobi braces against a desk for a moment to keep from falling before stumbling right back over to the blond and clinging to his side. This sequence repeats over and over again, even after they are out of the classroom and walking down the hall. All the while Tobi whines about something mostly incoherent to me, even though I'm walking directly behind them (at a fairly safe distance). His speech includes a lot of 'but!', 'please!' and various cutesy nicknames for Deidara, which only enrage the blonde further.

Just as I am getting bored with their antics, another blond comes into view. Tobi has been, once again, shoved into the wall, only this time it appears that he has hit his head rather hard. While my cousin is clutching his head and swaying slightly, Naruto Uzumaki places a hand on each of the Uchiha's shoulders, successfully stabilizing him.

"Whoa there! Hey man, are you dying?" Naruto asks, his eyes filled with concern for someone I am almost positive is a stranger to him.

Tobi blinks down at the smaller boy, and then over to Deidara who is already to the double doors at the end of this small hallway that exits into the main hall leading outside. Realizing that there is little chance that he can catch up to his 'Dardar' now, he shifts his gaze back to Naruto, staring at him for a moment before dropping to his knees in front of him. Tobi hooks his fingers into the front of Naruto's shirt, burying his face in it and beginning to sob unceremoniously. What a drama queen.

Naruto looks taken aback, eyes darting around for an escape root, eventually they rest on me where I stand a few feet away watching the exchange. His eyes are wide and questioning, brows knitted in confusion. Silently, he begs me fore help, so I offer said help by shrugging and continuing to look bored. Naruto glares and sticks out his tongue at me, awkwardly patting Tobi on the head.

"Nnn, you're s-so n-nice…" Tobi chokes out finally, lifting his tear streaked face to look at Naruto.

"Nah, I'm just not some cruel unfeeling bitch." Naruto's eyes flick over to me briefly.

There was a small silence filled with only sounds of Tobi's sniffling. "…I got your s-shirt all w-wet…"

"Don't worry about it, I'm used to getting wet. My kitchen slave and I have engaged in more than a few wet tee-shirt competitions in our time." Naruto grinned and Tobi looked confused.

Despite being vexed at being referred to as his own personal kitchen slave, I add "They also usually double as mud wrestling competitions." I might have smiled a little myself, remembering. A grassy field on a rainy day had always been my favorite setting for kicking the blond idiot's ass. I may not have realized it at the time, but I actually enjoyed sparring with him… It's a shame we have both matured a little and don't get into fistfights as much as we used to…

Tobi turned his head at the sound of my voice, apparently just noticing that I was there. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut off by another familiar voice coming from behind us.

"How cute, and here I thought you didn't have the adequate skills to acquire friends, little brother" Said one disturbingly amused looking Itachi. Fuck, I had forgotten he usually hangs back to talk with Mr. Hoshigaki.

"He's not my friend," I snap. I chance a glance over at Naruto, prepared to dare him to say otherwise, but am surprised to see how… _hurt _he looks. This causes me to falter momentarily, my annoyance at both him and my brother quickly drained by that damned look in his eyes. The idiot _is_ the closest thing I've ever had to a friend, in some sort of fucked up way, but I don't exactly want to admit it. I hastily mutter "It's more complicated than that." And advert my gaze to the floor.

"Oh, is that so?" Itachi sounds even more amused.

My mind starts to formulate possible explanations, but Naruto saves me the trouble by speaking first. "Well, mostly we're rivals… and uh, well I wear panties for him on Tuesdays annnd… he cooks me ramen?" Naruto struggled to describe our relationship and failed miserably. What the fuck was that moron thinking!? Forget whatever I said previously, I really truly hate this guy.

Through my embarrassment I blurt out "I haven't cooked you anything yet!"

"_Yet_ being the keyword! Until you keep your promise you're my official ramen cooking housewife!" he shot back.

"If anyone is the wife, it would be you."

"Nuh-uh! You look better with a soaked tee-shirt, only chicks are supposed to be _that_ sexy wet and clothed!!"

"What the fuck you moron! You're the one always pinned to the groun-"

"WRONG! I'm always pinning you to the ground, you just pin me to-"

"Trees. Yes, but the woman can work her magic while straddling a guy, but it would be much harder for her to while pinning him upright against a flat surface."

"But...!! I—"

"Give it up you moron, all evidence points to you being the wife."

Naruto huffed in defeat. "Fine, but that makes you Mr. Mom."

I bite my lip to keep myself from arguing further, it's fucking pointless. Glaring at Naruto, I notice how flushed his cheeks are. He looks positively adorable with his combined expression of a glare and a pout; the adorableness is completely befitting of my wife. …Erk! By that I mean, it's not… he's not…

Naruto stops pout-glaring at me to favor grinning sheepishly down at Tobi, who is still loosely clinging to Naruto's shirt. "Hey, uh, sorry about that. Are you alright now?" Tobi certainly looks alright, obviously holding back laughter.

Tobi gets to his feet using Naruto as a support. "Yes, better now. Thank you Mr. Sasuke's Wife. Thank you for taking such good care of him" he snickered.

Itachi brushes past me, the smile on his lips indicating that we _will_ be discussing this matter further at a later time. Ugh. "I second that thank you. We often worry about our dear Sasuke." Itachi adds, touching Tobi's back lightly and gently escorting him down the hallway.

"Hee, uhh, you're… welcome?"

Tobi turned around to frantically wave goodbye before the two older Uchiha made their way through the double doors, leaving the hallway deserted bar Naruto and I.

Naruto shifts uncomfortably where he stands, scratching the back of his head nervously. His face is still deliciously flushed as he directs his sheepish grin towards me instead. Whatever the idiot sees in my expression causes his grin to widen into a more confident one. For the first time since I've met Naruto years and years ago, I notice how devastatingly handsome he is. Not only the way he looks either, everything about him is handsome, from his looks to his demeanor to his disposition. It astonishes me that someone so idiotic and clumsy can be so becoming.

All I can do is stare.

Naruto is the first to break the silence. "So that other guy was related to you too? I knew the girly looking one was your brother, I mean, I've seen him before but never really spoke to him…"

I nod, not fully trusting myself to speak yet I merely supply him with the word "Cousin."

"Ah. Does he always cry that much?"

I shrug.

"…I've met more of your family today than I have in… how many years have I had the misfortune to know your pale Uchiha ass…" The blond was attempting to count on his fingers.

"Moron."

"Bastard!" He snaps back easily, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for us to call each other rude names. Perhaps it was. "Ah, well that's beside the point. Did I make a good impression, ya'think?"

I snort. "If successfully causing the both of us to look like homosexuals counts as a good impression, than yes."

"Feh, who cares about what they think? I know _I'm_ no fag so it doesn't bother me."

"Are you implying that I _am_ one?" I ask, narrowing my eyes.

He shrugs, his grin twisting into a playful, taunting one.

"Why don't I pin you to the wall and we'll find out who the fag is." I growl, not quite sure why I'm so annoyed.

"The one doing the raping, duh!" he chirps. "Not that I would let you get that far though."

"Whatever, moron. I'm not the one who's the rapist." I glare at him pointedly.

Naruto looks confused. "What the hell do you mean by that, bastard?"

I glare at him for another long moment before turning to make my way down the hall, leaving one very confused Naruto to stare dumbly at my back. It's a while before Naruto's hurried footsteps can be heard following me.

"Hey, wait up bastard! I came all the way down here to see you, after all!"

I pause at the doors into the main hall, peering at him with slight curiosity when he catches up. "What for?"

"I want my ramen!" he demands as he pushes the door open and holds it for me.

We fall into step, walking together towards the main doors leading outside and into the parking lot. "Is that the only reason you have to come and see me?" I ask, my voice mockingly feigning hurt.

"Well…" he began as we walk through the doors leading outside.

The air smells refreshingly moist. "Well what?" I urged, looking blankly over the now nearly deserted area. Wait, deserted…

"Well, fuck!" Naruto exclaims, stepping forward a few steps anxiously. "I missed my bus! It's all fucking your fault too, you bas-"

"Hey, Naruto." I interrupt his rant, staring out towards the distant football field to the right of the parking lot. The grey sky would have been gloomy if it weren't for the sun shining brightly from behind the storm clouds. The rays of light illuminate the wet pavement, grass, and leaves, allowing them to shine dully.

"…Sasuke?" the other boy questions, sounding vaguely worried.

I walk forward until I'm out from under the awning that shelters the area around the doors. Fat droplets of water splash against me from above, already starting to soak my clothes. It's raining. Hard.

"Hellooo, Saasssuukeee-baaastarrrdd, should I call an ambulance?"

I turn around to look at the confused, dry boy, making no effort to shelter myself from the rain. "Fight me."

"…What?"

"You heard me."

This is the first time I have ever challenged him to a fight, it's always been the other way around. Naruto looks at me like I have gone insane. "…Sasuke, what's wrong?"

Growling in frustration, I start to shout at him without really meaning to. "I want to fight you, you moron! In the football field, the soccer field, the grassy area behind the building, the front lawn, over by those trees, in your bedroom, on the bleachers, hell, even right here in the parking lot even though the pavement would hurt like fuck! I don't care where, idiot! I just want to fight you! Right now! I haven't had a good thrill in a long time!"

For once in his life the blond is stunned into silence. He stares at me while I fume silently, a little embarrassed and confused by my own outburst. Speaking of embarrassment, Naruto's cheeks are redder than I had ever seen them before….what?

"M-my… b-bedroom?" Naruto stutters, his voice almost inaudible. Wait, what? I didn't say that did I? Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! While we're on the subject of 'fuck', it hits me that maybe subconsciously I was replacing 'fight' with a certain four letter verb beginning with the same letter.

My thoughts are racing; I'm panicking, silently dying in my own stupidity while Naruto fidgets with the hem of his shirt, rocking back and forth on his heels anxiously. I turn sharply, walking off towards the football field only fast enough so it wouldn't look like I'm running away, though I want to very badly. I want nothing more than to get away from Naruto and curl up alone on the wet, muddy grass somewhere and drown in said stupidity.

It wasn't long before Naruto steps out into the rain to follow me, I can tell without looking back by the sound of his footsteps splashing against the pavement. "F-forget it… S-sasuke, w-what do you mean 'thrill', are you saying you enjoy hurting me?" he accused, opting for a change of subject.

I ignore him and quicken my pace, but he easily catches up with me and matches my pace, standing close to my side. He had taken off his orange jacket and was using it to shelter himself from the rain, when he got close to me he shifted it higher so it sheltered us both. Tch, as if I wasn't already blushing enough. "I don't care if I get wet, Uzumaki."

"Neither do I, but I can't see your face clearly if I have to squint to keep the water out of my eyes." He moves even closer to me, causing our shoulders and arms brush together as we walk.

"…" I really don't want to be around him right now, especially when he's being so…

"Answer my question."

I sigh. "No, I don't enjoy hurting you. I didn't mean it like that. I just… I like sparring with you. Even when I'm angry at you, I feel better afterwards. Looking back, it always felt like we were… well, playing." I chucked slightly at the absurdity of my words, truthful as they were. "Even if the game was filled with harsh words, blood, bruises, and the occasional broken bone."

"A little healthy competition never hurt anyone," Naruto offered, smiling and nudging me with his elbow.

I turn my head to get a better look at him, his face is close to mine and his smile bright and sincere. Just looking at him made me want to smile, I think I did, because before I knew it we were both laughing. Laughing and stumbling through the soggy grass together side by side.

I suppose… I suppose it's fine if Naruto Uzumaki completely raped my asexuality. As long as it's him. Besides, at this point, I doubt it's really rape anyway.

* * *

**Hinata POV:**

I feel like a complete and utter delinquent for skipping gym yesterday, by lying no less. I don't really know if I'm more amazed at the fact that Tayuya's scheme worked, or at the fact that I _didn't mind_ spending the rest of the _entire school day_ on the roof with her. I feel like the biggest trouble maker in the world for skipping not only gym, but also my next three classes with her. I don't know how many times Tayuya had to reassure me that we weren't going to get caught, but in the end she was right, we never did. She really knew what she was doing. She had a broad range of knowledge regarding all the locations in and around the school that are always deserted and have a very low risk of getting caught skipping at.

I'm not sure what possessed me to get coaxed into staying with her, but there has to be something special about the girl for me to have not run back to the classroom with my tail between my legs. Maybe it was the way she spoke, the things she talked about casually since I was reluctant to make conversation. I don't know how we talked for so long, but we did. Tayuya seems to really enjoy talking about her family; the things she and her older brother used to get up to when they were younger. She seemed even more egged on by my surprised gasps and questions that came with her tales. She had such captivating stories to tell. I don't think I've ever paid such rapt attention to anyone while they spoke to me before. She and her sibling would get into the kind of basic childhood trouble that I thought only happened on television, or maybe only decades ago.

The things she did, still does, I wouldn't ever _dream _of doing. Okay, I would dream of it, and I do, it's the kind of thing I _wish_ I could do but _know_ I will never have the courage to; an impossible goal, aspiration. The kind of stuff you can only get away with while you're young, mostly harmless trouble, the stuff that's only wrong because adults tell you that you're not _supposed_ to. Skipping class is even something I thought impossible for me. The whole afternoon gave me such a rush. I know it's really lame that I consider that an accomplishment, but it really was something amazing in my eyes.

So, maybe if I were anyone else Tayuya's stories wouldn't have been as fascinating, or the day wouldn't have been as fun and exciting for me. I know I'm a bit of a special case when it comes to shyness and my unwillingness to do 'wrong' due to an abnormally large conscience. But, for once in my life, I'm glad for it. I'm glad I'm different, glad I'm _boring_. In those few hours yesterday, everything I hated about myself I suddenly was grateful for. Because, if I wasn't the way I am, I don't think Tayuya would have been as beautiful as she was, sitting with me on the roof, the sun beating down on us, the chilly wind being filled with our words and laughter.

When I had told Tayuya that there was no way I would have ever done any of thing things she had, she gave me a strange look and told me that she'll be kidnapping me after school the next day, since I had _obviously_ been sheltered far too much. The 'tomorrow' is now today, and here I am after school sitting in the rain with her under my floral-print umbrella. I was unwilling to stray too far away from the school, maybe she knew, because she had lead me to the football field where we now resided on the bleachers. I had worked up my courage to ask my father permission to go out with 'friends' after school, but he had promptly denied such requests with the excuse of too short a notice.

My initial nervousness about disobeying my father now seemed insignificant to the discomfort of the water that had already gathered on the bleachers now soaking into my pants. Truthfully, I was worried about being out against my father's wishes, but being here, semi-wet and huddled beside Tayuya under the umbrella made me almost forget entirely about that constant guilt nagging at my conscience.

"So, when the train slows down to, I don't know, bout, less than five miles an hour, really slow in any case, you can just hop on." Tayuya explains while I stare at her dumbly.

"Isn't… Isn't that really dangerous?"

"Yeah, totally." She grins, "But so are a lotta things. You just need the proper timing and instinct and it's not all too hard. Still, one wrong slip and your feet get sliced off. Most people get on before the train starts moving and get off once it stops to avoid getting hurt."

I'm sure my expression is probably one of mixed amazement and horror. "S-so you've…" My word trail off as I lean forward to make sure her feet are still intact.

"You bet, I used to walk along the tracks and watch the trains go by all the time, it was only a matter of time before I learned all the points where they slow down and stop completely."

"T-that's… wow. I would never be able to do that, a-at least not jump on while it's moving."

Tayuya suddenly looks very serious, her grin fading away completely. "Of course you wouldn't. You're not going to."

"I! I know! I j-just meant t-that even if I was brave enough to attempt it I--"

"Even if you weren't a chicken I wouldn't let you anyway. I don't want you getting hurt. And I'm not even letting you train hop the safe way by getting on when it's stopped," she pauses for a moment, thinking something over. "At least not until I save up enough money to hire medics incase you pass out from how dirty the boxcars are." Her humor returns, and she smiles at me.

Apparently Tayuya already deems me worthy of protection even though we've only been on friendly terms for a little while, I blush at that.

"Since when am I that obsessed with cleanliness?" The question falls easily from my lips.

"Since forever, I can tell. It's not that you're obsessed though, per se, I just doubt that you've ever once in your life gotten dirty, I mean really fucking dirty."

"…I've f-fallen in the mud plenty of times."

"Wow! Really!? That's amazing, Hinata! That must mean the sight of people actually voluntarily rolling around in the mud, like those two, is enough to make you hurl!" The older girl exclaimed, voice teasing as she gestured to our right.

"N-no." I mutter before completely turning my head to look at who she was referring to. It took me a beat to recognize the figures tumbling around in the muddy field to the immediate right of fence inclosing the football area. They were far enough away that it was impossible to make out anything they might be saying (or shouting) above the sound of the rain, but close enough that I could easily make out tanned skin and unmistakably blonde hair. Even if I didn't know his profile better than anyone else's, it would have been obvious that it was him due to the sight of the dark haired boy he was with.

I reflexively bring my hands to my mouth in silent surprise. "N-Naruto…"

Tayuya places her own hand on my shoulder, shaking it slightly. "Hey, you aren't actually getting sick, are you…?" she asks tentatively.

"N-no, it's just, I know them." Remembering the umbrella, I resist the urge to stand up to get a better look.

I squint, trying to better make out what's going on between Naruto and Sasuke Uchiha, worried that they had gotten into yet another of their fistfights. It takes me a few moments to realize that they aren't fighting at all… Then why…?

Beside me, Tayuya chuckles. "Heh, this is better than watching those scrambled stations on TV."

I feel my cheeks grow uncomfortably warm immediately after my brain works out what she's getting at. "T-they c-can't b-be…. I-I mean, N-naruto, h-he, b-but S-s-sasuke d-doesn't—"

"Relax, their clothes are still on."

* * *

**Naruto POV:**

My clothes, my hair, my entire body, everything was completely soaked through and through. My back pressed against the soppy grass, it was more wet and itchy than muddy. I should have been cold, the rain pouring down on me, the wetness covering me sure was. Even the sky as it stared down upon me seemed cold, unwelcoming, the sun having disappeared completely behind an endless blanket of clouds. But I wasn't looking at the sky.

I was looking into something usually even colder, more unfeeling than something the petty sky could ever appear. For once though, his eyes were anything but cold. Sasuke's gaze was boring into mine, burning, smoldering, smothering me. I might as well have been face down, drowning in the rainwater.

Sasuke straddled my hips, at the same time he was bent low over me, his face hovering just above mine so that we were nose to nose. My hands were lying limply against the rain softened ground on either side of my head. Warm hands were on my own, his fingers threading through mine and squeezing just tight enough that it wasn't uncomfortable. The hand holding was entirely one sided, I made no effort to fold my fingers down and squeeze back.

My captor says nothing. We've barely spoken since we had reached the field. Everything had been automatic, the chasing, the pushing, the pinning, the pulling, the touching; all communication had been purely physical, aside from our laughter. It hadn't been fighting like the other suggested, it seemed more like playing, but at the same time entirely different. I don't quite know what it was. What it is. Why everything had suddenly turned so serious. Why my heart won't stop throbbing painfully in my chest, why my palms and every part _he's _touching feels tingly, why time seems to have slowed down and why we seem to be the only ones left occupying the world. Why, why, why ,_why_,_WHY!_?

I don't understand. I don't understand any of this. I comprehend even less when the other boy's damp hair tickles my face even more as he closes the emptiness between our faces by firmly pressing his lips against my own.

My mind barely registers that this is the third time I've ever been kissed. My first was on the first day of my first year in middle school. It had been a complete accident, a blunder, a simple push causing me to fall forward and land precisely on Sasuke's lips with my own. The second kiss occurred a few years later and has a bit of a lengthy story attached to it, but it involved Sasuke and I conned into playing a game of seven minutes in heaven, of course we had somehow ended up shoved and locked into a closet together. Naturally we argued with each other, which resulted, long story short, into a violent make-out session (competition, more like) against the closet walls. It's a given that we never spoke of it again, there was no reason.

The feel of Sasuke's lips against mine is familiar, the surprising gentleness of the kiss warm and welcoming. I was already returning the kiss by the time I thought about reacting better. This time there was no tongue, no teeth, no bloody lips, it was just soft. Soft, pleasant, calm, more deliberate. My eyes slip closed and my mind works on imprinting the feeling into my memory permanently. Out of all of his kisses, this one was definitely the best. The soft pitter-patter sound of the rain falling to the earth, the smell of damp grass and fresh rain washed air, the warm weight on my lower stomach, it all made everything more amazing, completely overwhelming my senses.

When Sasuke finally pulls away, I expect him to get up, to leave, to just walk away, to do _something_. But no, he's still hovering over me, his face only slightly further away than before, his eyes searching mine. His fingers flex, squeezing my hands a little tighter, I finally fold my fingers down over the back of his hand and squeeze back, reassuring him, urging him to say something, or at least letting him know I wouldn't mind if he leaned in and kissed me again.

There is a small, sharp intake of breath on Sasuke's part and he pauses for a moment before whispering, "The rain, it doesn't look like it will be letting up anytime soon."

Calmly, I tear my gaze away from him to favor squinting up at the sky. Heh, it's still coming down hard. "…Yeah…" even I can hear the content sigh that comes with my words….

Hey… wait a minute, that's all he has to say, after, after…!!

A light chuckle from above me indicates I must be looking rather scandalized right now. "Moron."

I start to complain but am quickly silenced by Sasuke nuzzling my cheek. It's about now that everything starts to catch up to me, what had happened, what is happening, how odd Sasuke's being, how tight my pants are, how the simple affectionate nuzzling is making my face flush even more than the kiss did. But I mostly noticed how tight my pants were. That and how deliciously warm and heavy his body was on top of mine.

"_Fucking hormones_…" I curse under my breath.

Sasuke snorts, I shiver at the feeling of his warm breath fanning against my neck as he speaks. "You're lucky. A moron like you can just go and blame it on _hormones_. I certainly want to. It's not as simple as that."

I grunt lightly to indicate my confusion, since words don't seem to want to come to me at the moment.

"Hormones," Sasuke elaborates "Are where teenagers place the fault when they get their girlfriend pregnant."

"…"

"This," he breathed "Isn't _hormones_." Sasuke pauses in speaking for a moment to trail kisses along my jaw line_. "Sasuke Uchiha_ could resist _mere_ hormonal urges."

I lie there for a long time, the meaning of his words sinking in, while he busies himself with nibbling on my earlobe. Really fucking distracting. Nevertheless, I easily comprehend what he said; I just don't fully understand _why_ he said it, why he's doing all of this so suddenly.

"Please let me come over to your house."

My words cause Sasuke's entire body to tense. Slowly and stiffly, he rises up into a sitting position, still straddling my hips. "…"

"I really need to block a few channels on your TV, dude. _God damn_, you've been watching too many romance movies!"

Now it's _someone else's_ turn to look scandalized. Sasuke narrows his eyes and lightly thwacks me over the head. "Moron. I was _not_ being romantic." The blush on his face suggests that he's reevaluating his previous actions in his head just to make sure his own words are true. He suddenly looked doubtful of himself. "…Fuck."

"Well that just killed the mood."

"Like you hadn't already killed it," he snapped.

"What mood? I thought there wasn't one, Sa-su-ke."

"Whatever. At least I was the one making the moves."

I realize that when Sasuke had sat up, he took my hands with him. Our palms were no longer pressed together, but our fingers were still laced, residing in his lap. I hastily tugged my hands away from him, scowling. "If I were the one making the moves, you would've already had a sex change and be whimpering and crying into a pillow right now."

"…Some sick fantasy you have there, Uzumaki. Of all people, I wouldn't expect you to be one to not be with someone based on gender, especially if you really lo--… Especially if you are really attracted to them. And judging by your current state, I would say you're pretty damn attracted." He emphasized his point by rolling his hips against mine once. I bite my lip to keep from moaning.

"…Nnn… Doesn't mean you wouldn't look nice with tits." I manage to say.

"You've thought about this before." It wasn't a question.

I only grin in response. Sasuke smiles in spite of himself and hits me again.

It's strange how we're so comfortable around each other, even when the situation should cause us to feel anything but. Even before, when everything had felt so… intimate, so serious, it hadn't really been uncomfortable, just odd. Ha ha, Sasuke Uchiha himself finally admits he wants me. Hot _damn._ Can't say I didn't know I was good though. They should lock me up for being so suave.

"Don't make me kiss you again to rid you of that stupid expression." Sasuke chides.

"Right, right," I laugh, "What now?"

Sasuke appears to think it over for a while. "Hell if I know." He says finally, shrugging.

"Sasuke, I'm ashamed. Where's your valiant steed? Why aren't you whisking me away to the magical land where everyone lives happily ever after? Clearly you haven't been watching those romance movies right!" My voice is teasing, laced with false concern.

The other boy rolls his eyes. "I'll start studying again right away, princess."

"Great!" I clap my hands together, "Let's do that."

"…As in the both of us?"

"Sure why not? I do hate studying though. Maybe I'll abandon you two seconds into it. Hey, your house has like, a million bathrooms right? I need to shower before going home or else Iruka will murder me!"

"Naruto…" Sasuke began, his voice sounding skeptical already, obviously reluctant to allow me inside his house. Sigh.

"Fine, whatever!" I interrupt before he has a chance to say anything, trying not to sound hurt. "Can I use your cell phone though? 'Ruka's gunna be pissed when he comes to pick me up and I completely soak the inside of his car." I start to sit up, trying to give the other boy the hint to get the fuck off of me now. Why the hell am I so upset? It's not like he rejected me or anything… I hadn't given him the chance to.

"I guess…" Sasuke starts hesitantly, watching me carefully. "I guess, combined, Itachi and my mother do own quite the collection of romance movies." As an afterthought he adds, "There are more than a few bathrooms in our house as well..."

I stare at him dumbstruck.

"…I'll call a taxi. After that while we're waiting for it you can call Iruka and tell him you'll be at my house for a while. He's probably worried, not knowing where you are and all."

Sasuke slowly gets to his feet, looking uncomfortable, only to be tackled right back down to the ground. I hug him tighter than I ever have hugged anyone before, laughing and not caring too much about whether or not I was allowing him an adequate air supply. He'd made me short of breath plenty of times today, so it's payback.

"Moron."

* * *

**Sasori POV: **

"When's he coming home, un? I'm sick of waaaaiting." Deidara groaned, splaying himself limply on across one of the large sofa in Itachi's living room. He had previously been pacing. Really. The boy needs some sort of hobby to help him release his sporadic bursts of energy that usually cause him to become easily frustrated and extremely liable to shout. Having clay in his hands usually helps him calm down, but he often runs out of it quickly.

"Deidara. Relax, I'm sure my little brother is being kind to your gel pen. You are well aware it's your own fault for forgetting to get it back, yes?"

"B-but, it needs special _nourishment_!" the blond looked disgusted at the mere suggestion that someone else could take care of his pen properly. "And it's not my fault un, that annoying guy distracted me!"

"Of course, we've established that. Tobi is in the kitchen making you dinner to make up for that right now."

"Pftun. That guy will never be able to reconcile for all he's done to me."

"…Right."

"Un."

Itachi crossed his arms over his chest and stared at Deidara evenly from his position on the couch adjacent to the one the blond and I occupied. "So you still haven't told me why you care about the pen so much. I don't understand your love for those types of pens, they are utterly unreliable and run out of ink too quickly."

"…It was a gift," Deidara says quickly, his eyes flicking briefly over to me where I sit at the opposite end of the couch. "And I _love_ that they run out quickly, in fact, that's exactly why I need this one back. I _need_ to use it _all up, _un."

Itachi raised a delicate brow, shifting his attention to me. "I'm not sure I want to know."

I realize that was my cue to elaborate. "Just his 'fleeting' obsession again. The ink is pretty, flashy, and gone annoyingly quick." I shrug.

"Unn" Deidara agrees "I _love_ them, especially the red one un, it glides across skin so _beautifully_." He purrs.

"…So who's body did you deface?" Itachi inquires.

"..Unn." I definitely do not like the devious smile on that idiot's face. Deidara cautiously crawls over the length of the couch towards me, his eyes locked with mine. I tense slightly and return his stare with a bored expression. "Well…" Deidara starts as he pounces on me. There is a small struggle but I quickly surrender and allow myself to be pulled into his lap. The boy's hands wrap around to grip the front of my shirt, quickly lifting it up. "Isn't the art _amazing,_ Itachi un?" the excitement and joy was so apparent in his voice that I felt myself smiling a little.

Itachi stared, one eyebrow raised, at the various sparkly-red-ink drawings littering my midsection . "Nice mushroom cloud. The flaming hearts are also quite charming."

"I rather like the one of Moltres." I deadpan.

Deidara whines, "I drew a lovely fireworks display up one of his arms but he washed it off, un." I can hear the pout in his voice.

"I wouldn't have bothered scrubbing so hard if I didn't know for sure Chiyo would kill me if I set a bad example for the relatives." I assure.

"Un! That's right, you said something about them coming to live with you and grandmamma Chichi soon. How is she by the way un?"

"She's fine, says it'll make her feel alive to have so many people living in the house again. And yes, soon being today. They've probably already arrived actually."

Finally Deidara seems to remember to lower my shirt, smoothing it down and allowing his hands to rest on my hips. "So that's why you suggested we come to Itachi's house instead of yours, un… I would be offended but I guess it's best not to overwhelm them—wait, un!! Waitwait_wait!_You're depriving me of women in _bonnets! _How could you, Sasori un. Some friend you are!"

"Oh please, Temari chose to leave the Amish community when she decided she wanted to continue on with schooling. She would have stopped wearing traditional clothing years ago. When I saw her and Kankuro about a year ago they were both dressing and living normally. I'm not sure about the littlest one, technically he shouldn't even be starting his rumspringa for a few more years." I sigh, "Chiyo isn't giving me the full details, but there must've been some reason for the older two to want to take him away from the house early."

Itachi leans forward slightly, taking interest in the subject. "The older siblings were living together before, correct? Are they resorting to living with their great-aunt because they can't support the younger one while juggling school and work?"

"Bingo."

"Now I'm curious as to why the youngest was rushed outta there years early, un. If you don't find out soon, I think I'll have to subtly pry it out of them once they start at our school. When is that, by the way un?"

"Anywhere from a few days to a few weeks, who knows." I shrug. "Anyway, I should be getting home now."

"But dinner un! That guy'll be upset if you skip after he's been working so hard to make it."

"Deidara, stop referring to Tobi like you have no association with him whatsoever. I know you're upset with him, but really, stop being childish." I pry his hands from my hips and stand up. "Tell him I'm sorry, but Chiyo will be expecting me to dine with them."

"Fine, un."

Both Deidara and Itachi follow me through the main hall and to the front door.

"Oh, and if Tobi cries about my absence, kick him for me and let him to stop whining." I add as an afterthought, reaching for the doorknob. Only, the door opens from the outside before I have a chance to open it.

Itachi's little brother stands frozen, staring up at us, one foot already into the house. He is soaking wet and harboring a little lost puppy in form of a tan blonde haired boy at his side. "…"

"Little brother, you're going to drip all over the floor."

"Not my fault our driveway is fucking long, had to walk all the way up and, incase you haven't noticed, it's raining." Sasuke snaps.

"Right. Well, I suggest you hastily make your way to the nearest lavatory and get yourself and," the eldest brother looks Naruto up and down "…Your_ wife_ cleaned up."

A look of recognition crosses Deidara's face, and he snickers, having heard the story about Sasuke's interesting argument from Tobi.

Sasuke growls "He's not. Itachi, that isn't funny, you-"

"_Sasuke_. Get cleaned up _now_ before you catch a cold. I don't want you dripping all over the floor either."

The younger boy glares for a moment before complying, grabbing his companion's hand and tugging the smaller boy along with him.

"Faster little brother. Run."

At his brother's words, Sasuke does run, practically dragging the other boy down the hall and up a flight of stairs.

"Interesting, un. I wonder what the little one has been up to, un.."

"As do I" Itachi agrees.

I give Itachi a questioning look before saying my goodbyes, allowing Deidara to give me a peck on the cheek, and heading out to my car alone.

* * *

**Author Note**: Review and you will be blessed with the superior culinary skills that all Uchiha possess. Click the review button and win free ramen, etc.


End file.

Naruto, Drama, Romance