Sailor Moon 1. Default Chapter

Sailor Star Plushy Rated: PG-13 By:Ari-chan  
  
Notes and disclaimers: For those of you who I thought I was dead, I'm not and to prove it here is a silly fic involving Yaten, Haruka, and Michiru.  
  
All these characters belong to Naoko-sama, the idea and plot (if there even is one) is mine.  
  
This is written in yet another new style for me)  
  
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The wind blew slightly sending gray locks flickering into green eyes. Kou Yaten was walking home from school alone again. Normally Taiki and Seiya would have been with him but they had "business to attend to" at school. Yaten snorted to himself as he thought of Seiya's idea of business. And Taiki just probably wanted to get close to that new math teacher.  
  
The blew again just a bit harder this time and the next thing poor Yaten knew was that he was on his back staring up at the blue sky. He stood up and brushed himself off. As he did so I beautiful redhead came over and asked if he was okay. He grunted in response. And when she told him it struck her as quite as odd that he could trip on a leave he huffed and flipped his ponytail behind his shoulder.  
  
She asked him if he needed anything like ice for his (here she blushed) "dainty bottom" as she put it. He said no but told her a nice cold drink would be nice. She nodded, told him to stay where he was then rushed off in search of the nearest vending machine.  
  
While Yaten stood and waited he wondered why he was doing such a thing. This girl was nothing special; all she did was help him up. But tripping on a leave! Yaten wondered who else had saw and if he had any dignity left.  
  
The girl appeared quite suddenly causing Yaten to nearly topple over again. She handed him a can of what he thought was cherry soda. He gulped it down liking the sweet taste. What he didn't realize was that was he was drinking the girl was whispering into his ear. And this is what she said:  
  
"Yaten, dear boy with no one love there is a tall blonde waiting for you. She has another but will welcome you with open arms. Go to her for she is waiting. Tell her nothing but kiss her and hold her. She will return your love."  
  
  
  
Far across town from where Yaten was being "messed with" Haruka was chasing Michiru all over the house. Michiru had taken one of Haruka's dress shirts early that morning and had been wearing it. In mock anger Haruka decided it was time to punish her lover.  
  
When the timing was right the blonde pounced and managed to pin Michiru to the couch. Michiru giggled and pretended to gasp for air under the handsome racers weight.  
  
"Michiru love, this will be the last time you ever my shirt."  
  
"Would you rather I wear nothing at all?"  
  
Haruka thought for a moment "What an interesting idea but I don't think that would go over too well with the police of Tokyo."  
  
"How would they ever find out?"  
  
"Er, well, if you never wore clothes and went out of the house they would see you, or someone would and you'd get nailed for indecent exposure."  
  
"Hmm, Haruka would you like to take the law into your own hands and na-" Before Michiru could finish they heard a shout. It sounded to them as if someone had yelled "Star Sensitive Inferno". They heard a crash and there in their living room in all her leather glory was Sailor Star Healer. Haruka quickly sat up as Michiru tried to hide the fact she wasn't wearing *anything* under the shirt.  
  
"What the hell do you want?" Haruka growled. By this time Healer had gone back to Yaten. He sauntered over to the blonde and leaned down to purr in her ear.  
  
"All I want is you baby."  
  
Haruka jumped back almost knocking herself and Michiru off the couch.  
  
"What?"  
  
Yaten began to unbutton his school uniform. Haruka squeaked and covered her eyes.  
  
"Michiru, help me. I never wanted this day to come… I don't want to see a naked man!"  
  
"Well," began Michiru trying to be calm. "You aren't really seeing a naked man, just a woman in a mans body…"  
  
"Close enough" Haruka peeked through her fingers to see that Yaten had removed his shirt.  
  
"I know you want me." He said to Haruka.  
  
"Like Hell!" she yelled back beginning to gain her composure.  
  
"Oh yes, Haruka-chan you want me like hell…" Yaten pulled his gray hair out of it's holder and let it tumbled down.  
  
"Dear God," Michiru whispered. "He is really serious."  
  
Haruka shot Michiru a look saying, "stop commentating and do something!"  
  
Michiru rushed out of the room ignoring Haruka's whining about how nice she was to leave her alone with the horny space freak. As Michiru rushed down the hall she could continue to hear Haruka babbling about how Yaten better keep his hands away from his zipper or she would her space sword and get rid of something he might need if he wanted to be a man.  
  
Nevertheless Yaten's hand crept toward his zipper but just as he was about to pull it down a Sailor Uranus plushy came flying toward him. He looked up to see Michiru dressed in a leather ensemble (which nearly caused Haruka to faint) holding a bag of more plushies.  
  
"Saving all people like Haruka who never want to see a man naked… Sailor Star Plushy here I am!"  
  
Yaten's eyebrow twitched, as did Haruka's. "Do you challenge me?" Yaten asked.  
  
Sailor Star Plushy nodded, and Yaten transformed back into Sailor Star healer as Haruka fell limp at the sight of two women in leather.  
  
Plushy threw more, well, plushies as Healer did her best to avoid them. When the time was right she grabbed a pillow and threw it. Plushy dodged it then cursed when she saw that her plushy supply was running low.  
  
Meanwhile Haruka had slipped out of the room. When she came back she coughed loudly to get the other women's attention. She was wearing a black bathing suit with a pair of gold boxers (on the outside) and had a towel tied around her neck like a cape.  
  
"Sailor Star Bathroom Scrubbies!" She shouted then threw a starfish shaped scrubby at Healer. Healer shrieked and the fight went on.  
  
At the window sat the red headed girl. She was laughing quietly at herself. Never before had something like this happened. But when she saw Healer lunge for Scrubbies leg and almost bite it she knew the time had come.  
  
Healer, without anyone doing anything had suddenly rushed into the kitchen. She raided the refrigerator and pulled out a bottle of soda. She gulped it down then. After standing there stunned for a few minutes she raced out of the house.  
  
Plushy and Scrubbies stood there in shock also before laughing.  
  
"Sailor Star Plushy?" Haruka managed to get out. Michiru laughed and wiped tears away.  
  
"Sailor Star Bath Scrubbies?" Michiru fell onto Haruka and the two sat laughing until the door swung open and there stood Setsuna. Her eyes went wide but she walked right by toward her bedroom mumbling:  
  
"How many times do I have to tell you? My plushies and scrubbies are off limits for your kinky games!"  
  
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Er, okay then. Don't ask. If that wasn't funny was it at least amusing? A little bit?  
  
Please review ^^ or send me an e-mail at MichiTenoh36@aol.com. Please put "fanfiction" as the title or the e-mail will remain unopened. Thank you. 


	2. New Sailor Team

New Sailor Team? Rated: PG-13 By: Ari-chan  
  
Notes and disclaimers: Due to the great reviews I got I decided to take LiR's idea and make a sequel. Thank you, all for reading it and I know it made *no* sense but isn't that's why it was funny? In this one I had to sneak in a dub reference ("lita's talent")  
  
To reviewer Hmmm if you do read this: Have you ever seen the Star season? If you had you would have understood this better. Yaten and the others change into men to look for their princess. When they transform they go back to original form. Notice how when talking about Healer I said she.. When she went back to Yaten she was a he. I do know what I'm talking about.  
  
Anyway, on with it! You know the disclaimers.  
  
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Dark storm clouds formed in the sky and a hard wind rustled the trees. Yaten cursed his hair holder for snapping as his hair blew everywhere. His head hurt and his back was killing him. He didn't understand why, in fact all he remembered where two new soldiers. Yaten suddenly shouted cripes out to no one particuler enjoying the way the foreign word sounded and took off at top speed to his flat.  
  
When he got there he found Seiya playing his guitar as usually and Taiki sat with his back to the door listening to headphones and playing on the computer. Yaten threw himself down into a chair and grimaced when pain shot up his back. Seiya asked if he was okay Yaten nodded then went to go get some ice.  
  
As Yaten walked by Taiki shut the computer monitor off. Yaten shrugged it off but Seiya walked over and flicked it back on. He stood aghast.  
  
"Taiki, how could you? And you of all people. Really, I'm disappointed in you!" This had caught Yaten's attention and he walked over also. He peered over Taiki's shoulder as the big fore headed starlight blushed and sunk down in his chair.  
  
"Oh come on," he said meekly. "Like you've never looked at this kind of stuff before?"  
  
"Not this kind!"  
  
"So you have!"  
  
"Yeah but it wasn't.. As graphic." Seiya said nearly drooling onto to Taiki's shoulder. "Man, would I like a piece of that!"  
  
Taiki nodded. ""Looks delicious doesn't it?"  
  
Yaten shook his head disgusted at his friends. "Honestly, drooling over a video like that. Anyone could make a better one."  
  
"Like who?"  
  
"Well, Makoto-chan for instance."  
  
"Oh yeah man, she's got great talent."  
  
"Yeah she does. I bet she could make a much better cooking demo!" Taiki and his fellow star lights nodded.  
  
As the three continued to gaze at the screen where a man proceeded to pour glaze over a cake Yaten remembered the important thing he has rushed home to tell.  
  
"There are more sailor senshi!" He yelled. Taiki and Seiya stood in shock.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Well, I can barely remember but I think their names were Sailor Star Plushy and Sailor Star Bath Scrubby."  
  
"How do you know?" Taiki asked turning around in his chair to face the short starlight.  
  
"Well, I was a battle with them earlier today. They're vicious. And even though they have only one attack it's killer."  
  
"What do they look like?" Seiya pressed.  
  
"One was blonde.. short blonde hair. She was wearing a bath towel, and bathing suit and gold boxers, I think. The other one was wearing some leather thing…"  
  
"What were their attacks?"  
  
"They were totally silent! They just threw these little things at me. It was terrible!  
  
  
  
While Yaten was explaining his ordeal to his friends Haruka and Michiru were telling Setsuna what happened.  
  
"You mean he came onto you?"  
  
"Why put it so gently! He tried to rape me for God's sake!"  
  
"Haruka, I don't think God would drink sake."  
  
"Oh shut-up, Setsuna.. this isn't a time to try and be clever."  
  
"You're right Haruka. I'm sorry but what are we going to do?"  
  
Haruka narrows her eyes and cracked her knuckles. "I've got an idea."  
  
  
  
The door fell in and there, in all there glory stood the all new Sailor Team: Sailor Star Plushy, Sailor Star Bath Scrubby and the new Sailor Star Panties!  
  
Yaten shrieked and began prancing about yelling, "There they are! There they are!" Seiya and Taiki meanwhile face faulted. When Taiki gained his composure again he said:  
  
"Haruka-san, Michiru-san, and Setsuna-san… what is wrong with you?" Setsuna, or Panties rather, grimaced.  
  
"Haruka, I told you this wouldn't work!"  
  
"It's Scrubby and you might want to fix the underwear on your head." Panties readjusted the Sailor Moon panties she was wearing on her head to keep the waistband from digging in any further.  
  
Plushy said something next.  
  
"Protecting women who don't want to see men naked and protecting those who do things with out knowing Sailor Star Plushy here I am!" Plushy struck a pose, as did Scrubby and Panties after doing their speeches.  
  
Yaten by this time was cowering behind a chair whimpering. "That's them," he said shakily. "Get them guys! Get them!"  
  
Seiya grabbed Yaten by the collar and pulled him up. "You space freak!" he yelled. "Are you blind? That's Haruka, Michiru and Setsuna!"  
  
{Pan over to Taiki} Taiki nodded and absently mindedly wiped the drool from his mouth. "Damn Haruka, you look good!"  
  
"Not again!" Were the last words before the battle commenced.  
  
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So, not as good as the first one I think, but you guys are lucky. I don't like sequels. Be honest, what did you think? 


End file.

Sailor Moon, Humor