Once Upon a Time 1. Breaking Down

Story and chapter titles come from the song that inspired this fic(Drunk Last Night- Eli Young Band). And while the song was my inspiration, it doesn't actually relate to the story much, if at all.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. Nada. Zip. I just borrow. If I owned it, things would be much different on the show and we could all be much happier and certainly not waiting months for a continuation from that ending!

**Chapter 1:** Breaking Down

Emma was alone in the apartment. David and Mary Margaret had gone out for the night and made it pretty clear not to expect their return. Henry was with Regina for the night.

Emma knew it was only fair. They had been home for a week and it was the first time that Regina had any quality alone time with him.

On the other hand, she wasn't sure it was such a good idea for her to be left on her own. Emma had made it all of five minutes alone before the wine came out. It was maybe another two minutes before the radio got turned on as well.

Wine normally would not have been her first choice but it seemed to be what Mary Margaret had on hand.

Emma was laying on the couch with her half empty glass of wine in hand. She preferred not to think about just how empty the bottle itself was…

She wasn't able to stop herself from thinking about the mess her life had been since their return. Henry's return had, thankfully, gone smoothly. She was not prepared for any more unnecessary drama.

And that was why, ever since their return, she had been avoiding Killian.

_Hook!_ She corrected herself mentally. Angrily.

Honestly, she didn't even understand how she remembered the name. She had only heard it once and at that time, remembering his name didn't even come close to her top one hundred priorities.

It was dangerous to think of him that way though. What if she called him by his name? What if Neal heard her? Henry?

Worse yet, what if Killian did?

But she had expected for it to be difficult. She thought he would notice and care that she was avoiding him. She wasn't sure which one it was, but apparently he didn't.

She shouldn't care that he didn't care.

She couldn't stop thinking about him.

It wasn't fair. She should at least be given the chance to consider all of her options. And this certainly wasn't the fun that she had been promised.

Neal wanted her back. Henry wanted them to be a happy family. That should be a nice option. But she couldn't even think of it past that.

She had loved Neal at one point. But she wasn't that same girl. And the hurt that he had caused her? She couldn't just forget about that and accept him back into her life. She could accept that he needed to be in her life. He needed and deserved to be in Henry's. But she couldn't just be with him again.

Could she be with Killian though? It was selfish. It would hurt those close to her.

It would make her happy.

Maybe the problem was that there wasn't anything for her to really decide. You can't make a choice when there was only ever one option.

Emma grabbed her purse and went out into the cold rain.


	2. Drunk Last Night

**Chapter 2:** Drunk Last Night

Emma woke up the next morning. The first thing that she was aware of was how much her head hurt. Next she became aware of the fact that she didn't know whose bed she was in.

She didn't remember much of last night. Not after having left the apartment.

What the hell had she been thinking?

The answer to that question might actually answer a few of the others that she had as well.

"Good morning lass."

The voice startled her, for multiple reasons. She sat up and searched for its owner and found him sitting at the desk across the room. She finally recognized that she was in one of the inn's rooms at Granny's.

"What happened? Why am I here?"

"Having a few memory lapses?" Killian's smirk came across his face as he spoke.

"Last night, I may have been slightly…" Emma struggled with her word choices.

"Drunk." He finished for her. "I noticed." He winked at her before he stood to stretch.

"Did you sleep in that chair?" She looked at him confused.

"I am a gentleman, lass. Not a saint. If you think for one minute that I could lay in that bed with you after all those lovely things you said to me last night and not touch you, you know nothing about a man's limits."

"I don't understand. Nothing happened last night?"

"I wouldn't say that. I found you out in the rain in the middle of the night. You told me that you had been looking for me. I told you that it must be my lucky night. And then you started yelling at me."

"I yelled at you? About what?"

"How I needed to stay out of your thoughts. How I wasn't supposed to leave. How I was supposed to care about you."

Emma was trying desperately to remember. The only thing she could remember was the feel of his lips against hers. She brought her fingers up and pulled at her bottom lip. That memory seemed to be very different than the one she had of Neverland and too realistic to be a dream. "We kissed?"

Killian sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the floor. "We did. And that's why I need to know now that last night was real."

"I don't even know what happened last night." Emma said defensively.

He wanted to argue with her but knew that it would just be counterproductive. He still couldn't take his eyes off the floor as he spoke though. "You told me that you cared for me."

Emma put her feet on the ground on the opposite side of the bed. She quickly ran her fingers through her hair to organize it neatly behind her ears. "Yeah, well, I was drunk last night. And I didn't know what I was saying. And you've never been clear on what you feel for me." Emma paused and decided to add, "Or how you don't feel."

He grabbed her arm and spun her to face him. They were looking into each other's eyes and they were both half on the bed. "I have never been anything other than clear about how I feel about you. Since Neverland, it has been very obvious how strong my feelings are for you."

"And since we've been back from there, you haven't even tried to see me or noticed that I was avoiding you. That doesn't let me know how much you care."

"As I already explained, I promised Baelfi- Neal that I would give him his fair shot and not get in the way of his family as long as I thought that was what would make you happy."

Emma looked down at the bed, "You wanted me with another man to make me happy?" She wasn't sure what to make of that. It seemed sweet… but not quite right.

Killian placed his hand on her cheek and raised her face so that their gazes were even, "I never want you with another man. But I'll always want you to be happy. So, if you could just let me know what you are feeling, I would know how to make that happen."

"I can't. Henry…" Emma trailed off as a single tear rolled down her cheek.

"What does he have to do with this?"

Emma jumped off of the bed. "He's my son. I need to make him happy. And he wants me to get back together with Neal."

"So, you do want to be with him then?" Killian's gaze was lowered to the bed.

"NO!" Emma said vehemently. Emma kneeled on the bed and put his face in her hands, forcing his gaze to meet hers. "No. After everything, I couldn't even if I wanted to be with him. But I'm not in love with him."

"I don't know everything, but I know he hurt you lass. I understand that. I would NEVER do that to you."

"I believe you." Emma assured him. She stroked his jaw several times before letting her hands drop.

"You seemed to want something more from me last night." Killian seemed like he had more he wanted to say but he felt entirely too bold with what he had already said to continue.

"Last night was just bad. I was alone. I was drunk. I was…" Emma trailed off having run out of adjectives that she was comfortable identifying herself with.

"Would it be so horrible to care for me then?" Killian was growing upset with the situation and he was beginning to let it show.

"Yes it would." Emma shouted, moving her gaze to the floor now. "It just wouldn't be fair to anyone, least of all you." He could only look at her with his confusion plain on his face. "I'm damaged goods, Killian. Between Neal and my parents' abandonment of me, I'm just not worth the effort. And with all of their righteous justifications I can't even truly be angry with them."

He ran his fingers under her chin now and forced her to look him in the eye, "You are worth every effort."

She forcefully turned her gaze away. She couldn't stand for him to look at her that way. It made everything much more difficult. "Maybe it seems that way to you... But I would…"

Killian moved to stand in front of Emma and leaned his forehead down onto hers before interrupting her, "Love, listen. Life isn't easy. It isn't meant to be. It's hard and it's painful. And while I wish I could take all that away for you, I can't. But I can promise if we're together I can make those times bearable. I will always be there to support and comfort you. And I'll do what I can to make sure the good times are as good as they can get to make those difficult times seem like nothing."

A tear streamed down Emma's cheek. She whispered, "I think I love you Killian."

He didn't hesitate as he let his lips crash down onto hers.


End file.

Once Upon a Time, Drama, Romance