1. Chapter 1

**SPOILERS ALERT DONT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED THE NEW MOVIE! Alright! So this story has been playing in my mind ever since I went and saw the new movie. I loved it, it was amazing! I also learned how nerdy I am while writing out this fanfic because without realizing it, I started writing star trek fanfiction while whistling the imperial march... weird, I know.**

**Okay so, there will be some kirk angst and feminine qualities, I'm trying to stick as much to Spock's personality as possible for the story. I can not write Scottish or English very well, so just uh... add the accent in your head, ill try my best (anime tear drop). **

**WARNING: High violence later on, rape, bondage, possible gore! I'm really expanding my comfort zone with this one guys so, if you aren't comfortable, but you like the story, send me a pm and I can let you know which chapters to avoid and just fill you in on the important stuff.**

**OKAY ENOUGH RAMBLING ON MY PART**

**I DO NOT OWN STAR TREK OR THE CHARACTERS (As much as I wish I owned Spock and he was mine, aaaaall mine, come on people, who wouldn't wish that?)**

**All chapter's will be named after a song that inspired them, so I encourage you to listen to a song while reading the chapter!**

* * *

Chapter One

The first thing my mind registered was an annoying beeping somewhere to my right. It was loud but the steadiness of the beats made me realize it was a heart monitor. Hospital. I was in a hospital. I blinked my eyes and looked around until they landed on Bones, who looked relieved.

"Welcome back, Captain." He said with a smile. What… Happened?

A flash came to mind, Spock actually _crying_. A strong feeling of fear as my hand went up to the glass and mirrored his. Love, so much love for the man that never showed emotion, but was crying for me. Triumph for saving my crew, no matter what, even if it cost me my life.

"How long have I been out?" I managed to say, taking the glass of water Bones offered and chugging it down. The cold felt so good on my parched throat. I saw movement behind Bones and locked eyes with Spock, who quickly averted his gaze.

"Two weeks, Jim. What do you remember?"

"Did I fucking die?" I cried out, eyes going wide. I might be going nuts, but I'm pretty sure Spock just flinched.

"Yeah, you did. But we managed to make a serum from Khan's blood and bring you back to life before your body fully shut down." Bones explained, looking nervous. "You aren't having any homicidal thoughts, are you?"

"No more than usual." I joked, cracking a smile.

"Perhaps we should let the Captain rest, Doctor." Spock said. He wouldn't meet my eye and I was pretty sure it was due to the lapse of control he had when I… When I died.

"And are you a bloody Doctor, you pointy eared hobgoblin?" Bones snapped, turning to glare at Spock.

"Of course not, you know very well that I am-."

"Ladies, do you mind, I have a headache!" I said, interrupting them before they could really start. Though I must applaud Spock for letting the insult fly. He met my eyes for a second before turning around and leaving the room.

"That green eared menace practically slept here the entire two weeks! Hell I have a few pictures of him either asleep in a chair beside you or sleeping with his head on the bed holding your damn hand! He barely even left to eat." I blinked, staring at the door that he just left through, my heart skipping a beat when I thought of him holding my hand. More embarrassing was the fact that, because of the heart monitor, Bones heard it.

"Well, well. And here I thought you were only in to chicks." He remarked, chuckling to himself as he put a device to my neck.

"Don't tell a single fucking person." I growled, glaring up at him. He smirked, taking the device away and righting something down.

"Why, are yah worried that it might damage your reputation Jimbo?" He said dryly.

"No, I'm worried my best friend will stop talking to me if he finds out I love him." I said weakly, not meaning to actually say it out loud. Bones froze for a second, then sighed and patted my shoulder.

"You're looking good, but I'll keep you overnight for observation and let you go in the morning if you're still clear." He muttered. I really didn't want to stay another second but I just nodded and he turned, walking to the door. He paused, seeming to debate on something.

"Spit it out, Bones." I said, rolling my eyes.

"He loves you too, you know." He whispered, almost so quietly that I didn't hear. "I didn't think it would really matter, but him and Uhura broke up. Have a good night." And with that he walked out the door.

I closed my eyes and groaned, not sure what the hell to think, this was all too much to take in. I sighed and tried to relax and within minutes I was asleep once more.

I awoke to a loud crash beside me, my eyes flying open to land on the young Vulcan splayed out on the floor beside me. The chair's leg was unattached and on its side and Spock had a look of pure shock on his face. His eyes were so wide that I couldn't help but start laughing. His eyes met mine with amusement and my laughter died down to a smile.

"I apologize Captain. I didn't mean to wake you. I leaned forward and the chair broke." He explained, getting to his feet. "I'll leave and let you rest."

Before he could go I grabbed his wrist and he froze, not even turning around.

"Please stay. I… I need some company." I muttered weakly, looking down for a moment. I hated feeling so hopeless and pathetic.

"You need your rest Cap-."

"What I need is for you to stay and talk to me Spock." I said, cutting him off. Finally he turned and looked me in the eyes before looking at the broken chair behind him.

"Shall I stand instead Captain?" He asked, returning his eyes to mine. I reluctantly dropped his wrist and winced as I moved over in the fairly large bed. He looked at me with confusion until I patted the mattress and he hesitantly sat down with his back to me.

"Spock. Lay down beside me so I can see your god damn face." I grumbled, pulling on his arm. He laid down, ram rod straight and squished so he wasn't touching me. Just one look and I knew that must be rather uncomfortable, not that he would ever say so.

"What would you like to talk about, Captain?" He said formally. Images of kissing him so he couldn't talk at all came to my mind and I had to force myself not to blush.

"For one, we are off duty so stop calling me Captain." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Okay... Jim." He said hesitantly.

"Second, you should relax. You're allowed to touch me, it's not like I'm going to bite you." I said, smiling as he finally relaxed, his arm slightly pressed against mine. "Unless you want me to." His cheeks flushed a slight green and I couldn't help but chuckle.

"It would be highly illogical to want you to bite me. Such an action would cause pain." He muttered.

"Oh loosen up." I said, laughing.

"I do not know what you mean by that Cap- Jim." He said, catching himself. We were silent for a bit before I coughed slightly, my throat still slightly dry.

"So... what happened with Uhura?" I asked, nearly groaning when I realized what I blurted out.

"I do not wish to discuss that but if you must know, it was mutual because I have feelings for... someone else." He said, obviously uncomfortable talking to me about it. Without thinking, I slipped my hand in to his and to my surprise he returned my grip, holding my hand tightly.

"Listen... if you... want some advice on how to... get together with the person you like, I'll help however I can." I said, trying not to sound as reluctant as I felt. No matter my feelings for him, I want him happy.

"Thank you." He whispered. We were silent again and I felt his thumb start rubbing softly against my skin. I started to yawn, trying not to let Spock see.

"I should let you rest now." He said, loosening his grip on my hand. I gripped it tighter and he turned to look at me.

"Will you stay until I fall asleep please?" Truth is, I was afraid I wouldn't wake up again.

"If you don't wake up I don't want to either." He whispered. I looked up at him and blinked in surprise as his cheeks flushed once again. He had read my thought, and then practically said he would die without me…

"I'm sorry." I whispered, realizing how hard it must have been to watch me die. His breath hitched and I fought against thoughts of those lips.

"When you... died... I broke down. Chased after khan and beat him until Uhura told me you could be brought back with his blood." He admitted.

"I would have loved to see that." I said, smiling while I tried to roll on to my side. Spock's hand let go of mine and latched around my waist to help me but I tried to boost myself slightly at the same time and let out an unattractive squeak when I landed half on his chest.

"Sorry." I muttered. Before I could pull away, his arms wrapped around me and held me close and tight enough that I couldn't even think of moving.

"I can show you my memory... if you would like." He whispered, placing his hands on what I assume were my meld points.

"Please." I wasn't prepared for the onslaught of images that burst in to my mind along with the rage. My rage mingled with every hit that khan landed on Spock until I broke the bond and forced my lips on to his. He froze for only for a second before his lips roughly pressed against mine, much to my surprise. His rough tongue forced its way in to my mouth as his hand gripped my face to his.

We both broke away to breath and I lay there panting, looking in to his eyes before softly kissing his lips once again.

"I love you." I whispered gently, curling up under his chin. It was out, it was in the open. His arms remained around me, but he said absolutely nothing in return. Did he kiss me out of instinct? Do Vulcan's even have that instinct? A single tear fell from my closed eyes before I allowed his scent and his body to put me to sleep.

* * *

**Alright, so there's the first chapter, it will become more in depth, I'm trying to write chapters ahead, I'm already writing the fourth or fifth one right now. I'm going to publish chapters every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday because I know I have a problem with the dreaded writer's block. Review, rate, follow all that stuff and you can message me with any questions, comments, complaints or concerns :)**


	2. Highway Don't Care

**A/N: First of all I would like to thank Ellstra, dyceymeow, Hunter Hatake and Neko Uchiha, Forgotten Dragon and Lu-the fallen angel for reviewing! As well as I would like to thank everyone who has favorited and followed the story! You guys make me really happy ^.^**

**Okay, so there wasn't a song for the first chapter, but there is for this one! ( warning, my song choices can be VERY random and VERY different from each other ) The song for this chapter is Highway Don't Care by Tim Mcgraw**

**And I would like to share a bit of a haha! I am corrupting my sister's step daughter (muhahaha she will be one of us)! Yesterday when she wanted me to pick her up I got her to say beam me up scotty! As well as, even though she's three, I got her to say live long and prosper! I think I am the best aunt ever :P**

**Once again, I do not own any of the Star Trek characters as much as I wish I could sleep cuddled up to Spock every night!**

**On with the show!**

* * *

Chapter 2: Highway Don't Care

I woke up alone to Bones rustling around the room, placing a glass of water and my clothes on the nightstand beside me. I blinked and looked around, the chair had been replaced but Spock was gone.

"If you're looking for your pointy eared friend he left after the flash of my camera woke him." Bones muttered, scratching the back of his head. I stared at him incredulously and he shrugged. "I had to lock myself in the bloody bathroom to keep him away from me! I thought I was a goner!"

"You took a picture of him? Why the hell did you do that?" I yelled, pulling the blankets off of myself and swinging my legs around to the side of the bed. I groaned, stretching slightly. Shit I was stiff.

"I had to! See why for yourself, I brought you some souvenirs of your unconscious time." He said, smirking as he handing me a small pile of pictures. I flipped through them quickly. Three of him in different sleeping positions on the chair. Five of him in various positions, either in the chair holding my hand, or his head on the bed holding my hand. The last one was this morning, his leg around mine as well his arm. My arm was around him and my head was tucked under his chin and a small smile was on his face. I started blushing and wondered when he would come visit me. What if last night's kiss was lust for him and not love like it was for me.

"You're free to go Jimbo. Scotty and Uhura said they would probably stop by your apartment later. I'm going to give you some iron pills and, just in case you need them, anxiety pills." He said, handing me a small paper bag before patting my shoulder and leaving. I sighed, standing up and taking off the hospital robe. Damn… I'll need to eat a little more, I look a little twiggy…

I sighed, pulling my clothes on and grabbing the apartment keycard and my car keys and leaving the room. I signed the necessary paper work and within half an hour I was sitting on my living room couch, trying to keep all thoughts of Spock out of my head. Damn him… Damn him for making me fall in love with him!

It had been two and a half weeks after I was released from the hospital and still Spock hadn't even bothered to contact me. I scared him off I guess. I was lying in bed, half asleep and trying to decide whether or not to get up and do groceries. Scotty, Sulu, Uhura and Chekov had come to visit me, as well as Bones coming to check up on me, but no pointy eared sex god.

I sighed and suddenly I felt a body slide over mine. I froze as my hands were pulled up and tied to the bed post and a cloth was tied around my eyes. What the fuck was going on, and why didn't I fight it?

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this Captain." Spock whispered in my ear. I moaned as he bit down on my neck, his hand sliding down my chest. Odd, I don't remember going to bed naked. The blindfold made everything feel ten times as strong and when his lips came to mine I moaned again.

"I love you Spock." I groaned as he pulled the blankets off of me. There was no reply and I heard a pop and then a lubed finger slipped in to my virgin asshole. I inhaled sharply as his digit probed around and then cried out his name when he hit my prostate. I heard him chuckle and another finger was added. It hurt slightly as he scissored me, but the way he hit my prostate almost every time had me moaning in pleasure. He withdrew his fingers and I was embarrassed when I realized I was whining for more.

"Don't worry Captain." His voice sounded… off, but I couldn't place why. Maybe he was that turned on? Slowly, I felt his dick sliding in to my ass and I clenched my jaw to keep from whimpering in pain. It felt like forever before he was fully in, his hands gripping my waist. I wriggled my hips slightly and heard his intake of breath as he started slowly pulling out before ramming in to me. I cried out and when he hit my prostate again I screamed his name. I heard a deep laugh that really didn't sound like him and I felt his hand wrap around my throat as he kept pounding in to me, taking off my blindfold.

I cried out when I saw Khan overtop of me and squirmed underneath him. His hand clenched my throat painfully and I whimpered pathetically.

"You really love him that much, don't you?' He growled, slamming in to me hard enough that tears started to flow. "Pathetic. How does it feel Captain? To know that I am the only reason you are alive? To know that just moments ago, I was bringing you immense pleasure." I felt like someone was shaking me and I clenched my eyes closed before opening them again.

I was in my room, it was no longer dark, the sun was shining in and Spock sat beside me, his jaw tight and his hand on my naked shoulder. I was wearing pj bottoms, unlike in the… Nightmare. That's all it was, was a nightmare. I shuddered and looked away, feeling the tears streaking down my face.

"I… Apologize Captain. The door let me in when I said who I was and when I touched your shoulder after you mumbled my name I… saw your dream." He grumbled. I groaned as my cheeks flushed.

"How much of it did you see?" I whispered.

"You cried out my name… Why?" He asked, gently grabbing my chin and making me look at him.

"Because I thought it was you, obviously. It sounded like you… At first." I admitted, removing his hand from my face.

"And me doing such acts to you would cause you pleasure?" He asked, blinking in confusion.

"Why are you here?" I growled, throwing the blanket off. Thanks to Khan's appearance in the dream, I had no boner. Which was a good thing in this case. Having morning wood would have probably made this a very awkward situation, even though it was pretty awkward already.

"I wanted to clarify some things about the other night. When you kissed me." He said, standing up and placing his hands behind his back as he backed away to give me space. I stood up carefully, running a hand through my hair.

"Don't bother, I already understand perfectly." I growled, walking in to the closet so he couldn't see me change.

"Captain, it was obviously an adrenaline rush caused by seeing my memories that caused you to kiss me the way you did. I apologize, I should not have allowed that to happen, after all it is prohibited for the Captain to have sexual relations with a lower officer." He said as I threw on a black pair of jeans and a plain white t-shirt. I stormed out, getting in his face as he froze, unsure of what to do.

"No, you listen! For one, we are off duty, and it appears that we will be for almost a year before the Enterprise is back up and running. Fuck the god damn rules. It was not adrenaline for me. It wasn't lust and clearly you weren't listening or you would have heard me say I love you!" I yelled, grabbing my car keys from behind him.

"Captain, wait. Where are you going?" He said, following me as I left the room.

"I'm going for a drive." I growled. "That okay with you, Dad?"

"I am in no way your father. As well as I do not believe that you should be driving in your current condition, you could get in an accident and hurt yourself." He said. I narrowly dodged him grabbing my arm and I spun around.

"Shut! Up!" I screamed. He froze and I noticed I was breathing heavily. "Just shut the hell _up_ Spock! Stop acting like you actually give a shit. I am sick of feeling sorry for myself because I let you lead me on you pompous douchebag!"

He stood motionlessly, a look of shock on his face.

"Captain, I-." I didn't give him a chance to finish as I stormed out the door. The more he yelled "Captain" down the hall, the quicker I started walking. He couldn't even call me by name. Why did I think an emotionless elf would fucking have feelings for me?

I was lucky and the elevator opened as soon as I hit the button. I slid in and heard his footsteps quicken in to running. I hit the ground floor button and started mashing the door close.

"James!" he yelled, arriving just as the doors finished closing. I collapsed, tears forming in my eyes. I refused to let them out until I was in my car. I didn't need to have people questioning me. The elevator doors opened and I quickly walked out and through the door to the parking complex. I pressed the button on my car remote to unlock the door and slid in to the driver's seat.

I sank down and started to cry harder than I have ever cried. The tears came streaming out and I could do nothing to stop them. I sniffled slightly, wiping at my cheeks as I sighed and put the key in the ignition. The passenger door opened and I jumped as Spock sat down in the passenger seat, closing the door gently behind him.

"Get out of my car." I growled, not turning to look at him.

"James." He said stiffly. I turned to look at him, my rage boiling up again.

"Oh, so I'm no longer Captain to you? How convenient for you to _finally_ start using my god damn name!" I yelled. "Now, get. Out. Of. My. CAR!"

"You are going to listen to me." He growled, grabbing my right arm and shaking me slightly. I hissed in pain as his gripped tightened and I wouldn't be surprised if he broke my arm.

"What the hell do you want?"

"I wasn't afraid to die. But when you were dying in front of me and there was absolutely nothing I could fucking do, I lost it. I cried. I didn't even cry when my own mother died in front of me!" He yelled. I blinked slightly and clenched my jaw as his grip tightened even more. "Do not EVER insinuate that my feelings for you are a fabrication!" He yelled, shaking me. I looked down, ashamed of myself. I was just so broken hearted and angry that I let the words fall out when I should have thought them through.

"Sorry." I whispered. He shook me again and I cried out. He gasped and let go of my arm as I looked up at his pained face. His eyes were on my arm, which already had an angry black bruise in the shape of hand on it. He lifted a hand and I unconsciously flinched back from him. His face contorted in pain and then he was out of the car and gone before I could blink.

I screamed out in frustration and turned the key, pulling out of the parking lot and quickly going to a back yard stretch of road. There were no cars around me and I stepped on the gas.

I don't know how long I had been driving in silence for when my comm started beeping. I dug in to my pocket, flipping it open and glancing for a second at the screen to see Uhura.

"Eyes on the road." She said. I smirked and returned my eyes to the long stretch of pavement in front of me.

"What's up?" I asked, pressing down on the gas some more.

"What happened between you and Spock?" She asked. I rolled my eyes and my grip on the steering wheel got tighter.

"Straight to the point, huh?" I growled.

"I'm worried, I've never seen him so… Distraught. Emotional at all."

"Odd, seeing as you would think he'd show emotion during sex. You guys dated for how long, after all."

"KIRK!" She yelled. I chuckled darkly and narrowed my eyes as my smile faded.

"What happened doesn't matter. I shouldn't have been revived. I should have stayed dead." I grumbled. "Everyone and everything would be better off if I were dead."

I heard a loud crash somewhere in the background and looked over at the comm when I heard Uhura protesting. Spock appeared a second later, a look of anger and horror on his face. So he was there and had gotten Uhura to call for him. Wow, almost as pathetic as me making sure he always had access in case he came by while I was in the shower or sleeping

"Don't ever speak like that!" He yelled. I looked away and tightened my jaw.

"It's true." I whispered.

"No it's not! I wouldn't be better off if you were dead!" He yelled. I closed my eyes for a second, then opened them and looked in to his.

"Bye Spock." I whispered, closing the comm and throwing it in the passenger seat.

I drove for a while, the only noise being the sound of the comm beeping non-stop. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and turned on the radio, blaring the volume and stepping on the gas pedal ever so slightly. Tears started falling down my face once more as the lyrics sank in.

_ I bet your window's rolled down and your hairs pulled back. And I bet you got no idea you're going way too fast. _

I pressed as hard as I could on the gas pedal in defiance, wiping my tears away and setting my jaw.

_You're trying not to think about what went wrong. You're trying not to stop till you get where you're going. You're trying to stay awake so I bet you turned on the radio, and the song goes: _

_ "_I can't live without you, I can't live without you baby. I can't live without you, I can't live without you baby, oh baby." I sang along, shutting my mouth when I realized what I was doing.

_The highway won't hold you tonight. The highway don't know you're alive. The highway don't care if you're all alone, but I do, I do! The highway won't dry your tears, the highway don't need you here, the highway don't care if you're coming home. But I do, I do!_

My tears started all over again as I thought of Spock. _If you don't wake up, I don't want to either._ And then just today. _I wouldn't be better off if you were dead!_

I wiped at my cheeks again and hit the steering wheel.

_I bet you got a dead cell phone in your shot gun seat._

I looked over at the comm, which I couldn't hear over the music but was blinking. Close enough.

_Yeah, I bet you're bending god's ear talking about me._ I chuckled and shook my head silently.

_You're trying not to let the first tear fall out. You're trying not to think about turning around. You're trying not to get lost in the sound. But that song is always on, so you sing along._

_ "_I can't live without you, I can't live without you baby. I can't live without you, I can't live without you baby, oh baby." This time I smiled slightly as I sang along. I took a deep breath and leaned over, grabbing the comm and flipping it open.

"Finally, James!" Spock yelled.

"Shut up." I said, smirking slightly. "I'm sorry. That was a stupid and selfish thing for me to say." He was silent for a moment as the chorus went off in the background.

"I do care." He grumbled. "When are you coming home?"

"Now." I said, slamming on the brakes as I spun the wheel and tried to spin the car around. I say try because I really didn't realize how fast of was going and I cried out as the car rolled on to its side. The comm fell from my hand and I gripped the steering wheel, my eyes closed. The only thing going through my mind, the only sound I could register was the radio. _I can't live without you, I can't live without you baby…_

It was silent and I realized I must have blacked out. The engine was off, a slight squeaking, puttering noise ringing in my ears, and then I realized Spock was calling out my name.

"James!" I don't think I've ever heard him so scared. I groaned, rubbing my forehead and pulling back a hand sticky with blood. I looked around for the comm and tried to reach it. It was too far away for me to grab it and when I tried to reach my seatbelt I heard a sickening crack and cried out in pain.

"I'm alive." I managed to breathe out. "Barely."

"Oh thank god." I heard Uhura say. I could hear an engine in the background of their comm... Oh god no, I wouldn't let Spock see this again.

"We're tracking your comm, we'll be there soon." He said, confirming my fears. Blood was dripping in a steady stream from my forehead, hitting the roof of the car with a small plip sound.

"No Spock… I don't think I'll make it out, I'm trying really hard to keep my eyes open but… You don't need to see that again." I groaned weakly, using my other hand to undo my seatbelt. It gave way quicker than I expected and my body crashed on to the roof with an audible thunk. I whimpered slightly when I landed on my arm, not realizing I had reflexively put it out to break my fall. I could feel my mind slipping and I was tired… So fucking tired. I couldn't go again without seeing his face, and it was as cruel and selfish and wishing I were dead. But I just needed to see him one last time.

"Don't talk like that, James." He growled. I groaned in agony as I finally managed to wrap a bloody hand around the comm and pull it to me, coughing slightly and feeling a warm liquid ooze out of the corner of my mouth. All I could taste was metal but I shook it off and propped myself up so I could see his face. He inhaled sharply and I knew it was as bad as I felt.

"Uhura." I grumbled, holding back another round of coughing.

"Yeah?" She called, her voice strained. I looked in to his human brown eyes, filled with fear and I swallowed hard.

"Take care of him." I said, placing my finger over the off button as darkness crept up in to my mind. "Love you."

* * *

**Yay, long chapter :) Out of the chapters I've written so far, this one is prooobably one of my favourites :) Anyways I hope you enjoy and stay tuned for the next installment on Sunday! THANK YOU FOR READING, YOU GUYS ARE THE BEST**


	3. Memories

**A/N I know I said I was going to post the new chapter on Sunday but I got so many favorites and follows that I decided to post the new one!**

**The chapter is for Tern and LottLott, thank you so much for those kind reviews :D You guys are the best 3**

**Thank you to dyceymeow, Tern, LottLott, Ellstra, and Rubyhair for reviewing! And thank you to everyone who has favorited and followed! It feels good to be able to write again and makes me feel it's all worth while thanks to you guys!**

**This chapter's song is Memories by Within Temptation**

**AGAIN I do not own the characters but I really freaking want Spoooock! (anyone else agree?)**

**On with the chapter, huzzah!**

* * *

Chapter Three: Memories

"James, wake up! God damn it James, wake up!" I have never felt this out of control. Not when he was dying the first time. This time it was so much worse. His eyes had shut after he had said he loved me, and once again I was frozen and couldn't say it back.

"Spock!" Uhura cried out. I looked up from the comm to see us approaching an upside down car. I was out before she had even stopped the vehicle, kicking in the window and removing all sharp edges that could catch on his delicate skin before pulling him out and in to my arms. I forced myself not to wince at the blackened part of his arm that was caused by me.

"Jim…" I whispered softly. I pressed my lips softly to his, not caring about the blood and felt his heartbeat and his mind strong. He was alright, he wasn't near death. More importantly, there was time. I had him in my arms in a second, climbing in to the back of the car and holding him to me.

"Alright, we'll be right there soon Leonard." Uhura said before hanging up the comm and stepping on the gas. She was speeding, but not excessively like James had been. I put my hand on his meld points and looked up at Uhura.

"I'm going to meld with him and try to bring him to consciousness." I said. She looked in the review mirror.

"Alright, I'll try to drive steady." She said, turning her eyes back to the road. Instantly I was in his mind.

His mind was in a jumble. It was like he was in a room where the walls were made of various moving pictures and in the center of it was James with his knees pulled up to his chest.

_I'm scared Spock, help me not to be._ I froze and stared at the memory that I knew so well. _How do you choose not to feel…?_

I forced myself to look away, knowing it would cause me to be unstable. That was the last thing James needed at this moment.

_I want you to know why I couldn't let you die, why I went back for you_. No… no, I couldn't hear this again. It stung too much, raising tears to my eyes that I help back.

_So tell me what you did wrong, what's the lesson to be learned here? _I looked at the unfamiliar memory and recognized it as after I had been dismissed from the meeting.

_Never trust a Vulcan._ I couldn't help but laugh quietly and shake my head a little.

_No, actually, Scotty just quit. And you're boyfriend is second guessing me every chance he gets… I'm sorry that was inappropriate. It's just…. Sometimes I want to just rip the… Bangs off his head!_

_Wait, are you guys fighting? Oh my god, what is that even like?_ I rolled my eyes at him, taking another step forward. He could be so ridicules sometimes.

_Spock, my display is dead, I'm flying blind._

_Captain, without your display, hitting your target is mathematically impossible._

_Spock, if I get back we really need to talk about your bedside manners._ I smiled again, now enjoying the memories flowing around me.

_I have been and always will be your friend._

_Wha…. Uh… Look, I don't know you._

_I am Spock._

_Bullshit._ I laughed, all his memories were eliciting strange, warm feelings inside me and I forgot my purpose, turning to look at the wall of video like memories.

_So you're saying I have to emotionally compromise you guys?_

_Jim, I just lost my planet. I can tell you, I am emotionally compromised. What you must do is get me to show it._ I looked on in confusion, what were we talking about?

_Don't answer him._

_Answer me._

_I rather not take sides. _All fond memories I assume, aside from the first I saw, they are mostly happy, and all but one of them involved me. I didn't know he felt so strongly… I thought perhaps I was another of his illogical conquests. Another… notch in the belt as the humans would say.

_What is it like not to feel anger or heartbreak or the need to stop at nothing to avenge the death of the woman who gave birth to you?_

_Back away from me._

_You feel nothing! It must not even compute for you! You never loved her!_

"I never meant that." Jim whispered. I didn't realize I had gotten so close.

"James." I said softly, moving forward and slowly kneeling in front of him. The moving walls turned black when he looked up at me. He appeared like he had the first time I saw him, after he had hacked in to my test. Wild, young, _absolutely stunning_.

"Heya Spock. I knew my last thoughts would be of you." He said, smirking. I blinked, trying my best not to just kiss him now. He had always tested my self-control.

"James, you are not dead, nor will you be dying anytime soon. Will you come with me?" He looked confused for a moment and then a sigh left his lips.

"Where would I not follow you, ?" He said, making my heart skip a beat. I stood and held out my hand, which he took and used to pull himself to his feet.

"I love you too, Jim." I said, deciding now was the best time. I needed to overcome my own cowardice. His grin was brilliant.

"Yeah, deep down I knew. I was just being a girl." He said, his arms slipping around my shoulders. It was my turn to smirk as I wrapped an arm around him.

"You tend to act feminine a lot." I replied. He pouted and I chuckled, leaning forward and pressing my forehead to his.

"How do I wake up? I told you I was coming home, and I won't be called a liar." I wrapped my other arm around him, sighing contently.

"Just follow me, you'll understand how." I whispered, leaning forward and closing my eyes as I pressed my lips to his.

It was really hard not to moan when I opened my eyes and Spock was there, kissing me gently. I pulled away, conscious of the fact that if he was in the back seat that meant Uhura was driving.

"Hey Uhura." I groaned, resting my head on Spock's shoulder to prevent myself from passing out again. I started laughing when she jumped out of her skin while parking the car. I looked at the emergency sign and groaned.

"You're awake!" She cried out, looking in between the seats. Spock was being unusually quiet. He was just holding me while rubbing my arm and nuzzling my hair.

"Bone's is going to kill me!" I cried out, seeing him walking towards the car. Spock finally chuckled, pulling away from me when he realized he was clinging. I smiled apologetically at Uhura. I was the reason they broke up, and I felt horrible about it. I felt Spock shake me gently and I looked up to see his one eyebrow perfectly raise.

"She's dating your engineer." He replied to my thoughts. "Our ending our relationship was mutual."

"Yeah, but…" I trailed off as the door opened and Bones shoved his head inside, cussing very colorfully.

"Jesus, you miss me that much?" He growled, pulling out and calling for a stretcher.

"I don't need one, I can walk." I muttered. Bones looked at me skeptically as Uhura got out of the car and opened the door beside me.

"Alright…" He said, knowing he couldn't stop me. I pulled myself out of the car, smiling at Uhura and teetering slightly when she wrapped her arms around me.

"I was so scared." She whispered. I felt really bad for everything I said and hugged her back.

"I'm sorry." I muttered. She pulled away, rubbing my arm gently before pulling back to let me move when I grimaced at the pain. I used the door to walk forward, everything hurt, especially my left arm. Spock came around the side of the car, looking at me with a questioning look. I shook my head and waved him off, knowing he was asking if I needed help walking. I took a couple steps away from the door, making it around the car before my legs failed and I crumpled in to Spock's arms.

"Jim! This is why I shouldn't have waved off the god damn stretcher." Bones growled, running over. Before he could even reach me, Spock had me in his arms and I felt like a limp doll. Bones hesitated for a moment before nodding and waving us in.

I leaned my head against Spock's chest and smiled up at him when he looked down at me.

"Am I too heavy?" I asked, not wanting to be a burden.

"You are…. What's the saying? Light as a feather. You should eat more Captain." Aaaand we were back to being called Captain. And here I thought we had made it pretty damn far. He only kissed me because I'm hurt, I only imagined him saying he loves me. He set me down on the bed before formally backing away.

"Call me when you're ready and I shall assist you in going home. I must retrieve my vehicle from Uhura's." He said, swiftly leaving the room.

"Fuck off you pointy eared menace!" I screamed, loud enough that I think the entire hospital heard. Bones and Uhura stared at me in shock and Spock slowly stepped back in to the room. I was fuming again and I knew it.

"Pardon me, Captain?" He said, blinking slightly. He was as composed as ever.

"You are a coward." I growled. I saw his shoulders tense.

"And to what are you referring to me being cowardice?" He asked. God he was irritating! Why did my heart choose him of all people!

"Don't bother coming back for me. I'll make it on my own." I said, glaring. I wanted him out of my life so my heart would heal. Maybe he did care, but he was messing with my mind, my heart and emotions. And I was more than sick of it.

"Bloody hell, what happened to your arm? How fast were you going to receive that big of a bruise? And why does it look like a hand?" Bones yelled, obviously trying to defuse the situation.

"I wasn't wearing my seatbelt properly." I said in a monotone, my eyes locked with Spock's, his lips parted in surprise. "I must have hit it a couple times when the car rolled."

"I shall depart then." Spock said, turning on his heel.

"Leave now, and I never want to see you again." I growled. It wasn't supposed to come out. I knew he'd leave. I just didn't want to deal with these feelings and all the pain that came with them.

"James!" Uhura yelled. Spock had frozen in the door, his arms tight against his side and his fists clenched. Bones was trying to stay the hell out of it while assessing the damage to my body.

"Do you really mean that, Captain?" He said, voice strained. He looked over his shoulder slightly, though his eyes were downcast.

"Yes." I whispered. His eyes closed and he took a deep breath, then walked out the door. I cried out in anger and grabbed the vase beside me. Bones narrowly ducked as I threw it in to the wall and it crashed in to a million pieces.

"Oy!" He yelled, smacking me upside the head. "Don't damage hospital property because you and your boyfriend broke up."

"We were never dating." I growled.

"Oh, in that case. That," he pointed between me and the door. "That was weird and angsty. Grow the hell up."

"Jeez, some fucking friend you are." I muttered, closing my eyes.

"Don't go to sleep, you might not wake up, you have a major concussion." Bones instructed.

"Counting on it." My eyes flew open as Uhura's slap caused my head to snap to the side. I blinked then turned to look at her.

"Make that concussion severe." I grumbled. Her nostrils were flaring, and if my heart weren't aching for an emotionless asshole who does nothing but play with me, I'd say it was pretty damn attractive. Oh, and apparently she's dating Scotty? Why do I never get this information?

"Stop being so god damn selfish." She said. "Are you stupid or just plain blind to how Spock feels for you?"

"She's got a point Jimbo."

"Both of you shut up and just fix me so I can go home."

"Not happening. You have suicidal tendencies, a major concussion, a broken arm and torn muscles in your legs. You'll be here for a while." Bones said with a smile. I stared at him with my mouth hung open and Uhura smiled triumphantly before leaving the room.

"You aren't seriously going to keep me here, are you?" I said as he injected me with a hypo. "God damn it I hate those things!"

"More serious than a Vulcan." He grumbled. "Uhura told me you said suicidal things and you just uttered a suicide threat in front of me. You aren't leaving supervision until I deem you worthy."

* * *

**We all have those moments when we blurt things out that we don't mean, Kirk, don't worry bout it -pats head-**

**Alright, I hope you enjoyed the Chapter, next one will be up on Sunday! Thank you all for reading!**


	4. Stay

**Alright everyone, I would like to thank LottLott, Rubyhair, Ellstra, Dyceymew, ObsessivePersonality, WuNsChKiNd15 and Tern for reviewing and I'd like to thank everyone who favourited and followed! You guys make writing worthwhile :)**

**I'd like to dedicate this chapter to WuNsChKiNd15 who was a nice chatting buddy and posted a really nice review :) THANK YOU!**

**dyceymew - Yeah, it might be hormones, or maybe he needs to get laid xD**

**Ellstra - Jim can be an idiot sometimes xD Okay... A lot of the time**

**Rubyhair - Agreed, but we all know he'd always come back for his Captain 3 **

**Alright, the song for this chapter is Stay by Rhianna (didn't I tell you I was random? Rhianna, Tim McGraw, Within Temptation xD)**

**I DO NOT OWN SPOOOOCK BUT I SERIOUSLY WANT TO FIND A SPOCK PILLOW SO I CAN SAY I SLEEP WHILE CUDDLING HIM ALL NIGHT!**

**ENJOOOOY 3**

* * *

Chapter Four - Stay

Two weeks of bland hospital food and no visitors but Bones was driving me insane. Okay, I was being melodramatic about the whole suicide thing but I seriously felt like I was dying of a broken heart. Fuck, I was rather girly…

Finally I was released with my arm in a sling. The muscles in my legs ached but I was told that I could walk, just don't overdo it. Oh and I would need to taxi, cause my car was totaled.

I left my hospital room to see Uhura at the front desk, signing some forms.

"What are you here for?" I asked, walking up to her and peering over her shoulder. She was signing _my_ release forms.

"You weren't allowed to leave until someone claimed responsibility, so I did. Now sign here and I'll drive you." Drive me where, home? Her place? Over a bridge? I was not liking this. I grumbled as I signed my name and she grabbed my slightly good arm (the bruise was still healing), dragging me out the door and in to the car.

"Where are we going?" I sighed after ten minutes of driving and her passing my apartment building without a second glance.

"My place." She said simply. Five minutes later we arrived at an apartment building and she got out of the car, handing her keys to the valet and dragging me inside.

"Why am I not at _my_ place?" I asked, glaring.

"Because you need to be supervised until proven mentally capable of being alone." She said, pushing me in to the elevator and pressing the button for the top floor. It was a silent ride up and I grumbled in protest when she continued to drag me to her apartment, using her keycard to open the door and drag me in.

"Uhura?" I heard someone call out. I paled and stared at her as I tried to dig my heels in. Damn it, since when was she this strong?

"Oh no!" I said. "Oh no, no, NO!" She tossed me around the corner and Spock caught my shoulders, causing me to hiss in pain. He let go the instant I was stable and backed away and I spun around to run.

"Close door. Lock unless specified by me directly. Don't let anyone in or out." I heard her say around the corner before the door swished shut.

"Door, unlock." I yelled, pounding my fist on it.

"Unauthorized voice." The computer responded. I heard a sigh behind me.

"Captain, please step away from the door before the security system goes off and you get electrocuted." He warned.

I went to step back and I heard a small click and I was suddenly yanked back before I saw an electrical current surge over the surface of the door than fade.

"Thanks." I muttered. He didn't let go and I pulled away, walking around him to sit on the couch. I looked up at him and really noticed him.

He was paler than usual, if that was even possible, with stubble along his cheeks and his hair shaggy and down to his eyebrows. His shirt was wrinkled and baggy, he looked downright malnourished. Yeah, the long hair would have been sexy, had he not been filled with a feeling of guilt.

"Have you been taking care of yourself?" I asked without meaning to, my voice heavy with shame. He blinked at me and sighed, running a hand through his long hair, like I usually do. He seemed to catch himself halfway through and dropped his arm.

"I have no appetite as of late and no reason to go out. I shower on a daily basis as necessary, eat as much as absolutely necessary to survive and sleep when I find it difficult to stay awake." He replied. To put it clearly, he wasn't eating enough, sleeping enough and wasn't grooming himself. He looked like shit. I opened my mouth to say so and his comm went off.

"Nyota, I assume you are not calling to say you are finished tormenting us and are coming back to release us from your apartment?" He said, looking down at the screen. I heard her chuckle and I groaned. I swear I'm going to kick her ass one day.

"No, I have a date with Scotty and will be going back to his apartment afterwards. Feel free to use whatever food you find and clean up after yourselves." She said simply. The comm clicked off before either of us could respond and I sighed.

"In that case, are you hungry?" I asked, standing up and stretching out as much as I could.

"I just said I have no appetite as of late so no." He looked at me for a second then looked away. "Thank you." He forced.

"God damn it Spock, I will make you eat whether or not I have to tie you up and force feed you." I growled, heading in to the kitchen. The image of him tied up, my lips tracing his collar bone cause me to clench my eyes shut and shake my head. An awkward boner would definitely not help this situation.

"Highly unlikely as I have more strength than you, especially in your current condition." He said from the living room.

"How so?"

"We already witnessed that I am stronger than you when I, as you would say, lost my temper on the bridge." He replied, entering the kitchen.

"In case you don't remember, I didn't fight back. I was just trying to make you lose control so I could become captain like you told me." I said, rolling my eyes as I pulled out some cheese slices and butter, putting them on the immaculately clean counter. Come to think of it, everything was sparkling. What did she do, scrub it every freaking day?

"I do not recall telling you to… Oh, my future self." He said, reaching in to his pocket and pulling out his comm. I grabbed it from his hand before he could dial and threw it at the wall, causing it to make a quiet zzt noise before hitting the ground. Having him call his other self to give himself shit, as funny as that situation would have been, was not admirable. Yeah, I could have grabbed it and put it in my pocket but I was pissed at myself.

"That was highly unnecessary Captain." He said calmly. Fuck I hate how he could keep his cool. Okay, him bruising me wasn't a fun situation and scared the shit out of me, but he could at the very least get mad at me.

"Shut up." I grumbled, grabbing a loaf of bread and rummaging through the kitchen until I found a frying pan. I set it on the burner, turning it on so it could heat up while I buttered the slices of bread.

"How many?" I asked, looking up from my work for a second. He raised one eyebrow and I felt the corner of my lips twitch.

"As I just said, and seem to have to repeat, I have no-."

"SPOCK!" I yelled, cutting him off.

"One, please." He muttered, looking away from me. I looked at his baggy shirt and sighed. I reached over, ignoring how he tensed up, and lifted his shirt. Dropping it, I looked away, another wave of shame hitting me.

"I'm making you two and you better eat them both." I grumbled, buttering the slices in silence before putting two of the sandwiches in the pan.

"If you don't mind me asking, why the concern?" He asked, walking past me and leaning on the counter on the other side of the stove.

"You look like shit." I muttered. He went to run his hand through his hair again and stopped.

"I suppose… I haven't been keeping my appearance up. I did not find it necessary." He replied, looking away.

"Why?" I asked, flipping the sandwich and turning around to find the plates. I pulled out two, placing them on the counter before staring at him expectantly.

"I do not wish to discuss this, Captain."

"Oh, for the love of… We are off duty so shove the captain up your ass!" I yelled, pointing the spatula at him. The corners of his mouth twitched up slightly and I realized how I phrased that. I turned away, trying to ignore the images and the blush creeping across my face as I took the sandwiches out of the pan. But as I handed them to him I realized we were both laughing. He had a nice laugh and I felt my gaze soften.

"You, Spock, have a dirty mind." I said, putting my two sandwiches in the pan.

"Indeed." He muttered, staring down at the food like it was going to kill him.

"Eat." I whispered. "Please, it hurts to see you like this."

"Jim…" I looked away from his shocked expression, deciding to poke at my sandwich instead.

"For you then." He muttered. I looked over in time to see him take a bite. I smiled awkwardly and his cheeks flushed green, obviously not liking me staring as he ate. I turned away to give him privacy.

We ate in silence and when we finished, I gathered our plates and rinsed them off before putting them in the sink.

"How is your arm?" He asked, coming up behind me.

"Which one?" I said unintentionally, turning to face him. He flinched and I saw his gaze go to the yellow bruise that still faintly looked like a hand. His hand slowly raised before his fingers lightly caressed the bruise.

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"Don't be, we all say and do things we don't mean." I muttered, looking in to his eyes. He inhaled sharply before bringing his hand up to my face and brushing his fingers along my cheek.

"James, I should not have left that room." He whispered, leaning in and pressing his lips against mine softly.

"Have you been neglecting yourself because of me?" I whispered when his stubble brushed my chin.

"Yes…" He admitted softly, a small frown on his face.

"Fuck." I groaned, turning away and gasping when he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me against him.

"Please don't blame yourself." He whispered in my ear. A tingle of pleasure jolted up my spine and I couldn't help the moan that slipped out.

"Spock, stop breathing in my ear." I muttered. I heard him chuckle and my knees started to feel weak. I grabbed his wrist with my good hand, squeezing gently.

"Is that an order?" He asked.

"Yes." I hissed.

"Too bad we are off duty." I let go of his writs and slapped my hand against my forehead as my own words came back to bite me in the ass.

"I will jump you and injure myself doing so because I was told not to do any strenuous activities." I objected. He froze, stiffening against me before he pulled away.

"James, turn around and look me in the eyes and tell me _exactly_ what you want from me." He said calmly. I turned around and he looked anything but calm. His eyes raced with emotion and at that very second I wanted to wrap my hand around the back of his neck and do nothing but kiss those soft lips until he moaned my name.

"I want…" I trailed off, not sure what to say.

"If you do not tell me now, then… Then I will depart to the bedroom and not come out until you are gone and out of my life." Oh great, he somehow logically managed to use my words. Did he not realize how hard this was for me?

"I want you to be mine." I growled, glaring. "Happy, you pointy eared ass."

"Not until you are mine, James." He muttered, putting an arm around my waist and crushing his lips to mine. I gasped and his tongue entered my mouth, pressing against mine and I let him take dominance over me.

"There was never a question about it, I've always been yours." I whispered, leaning my head against his chest. "Ever since I first saw you, even if I didn't know it yet, I was completely yours."

"And I yours, James."

* * *

**Yay! Cute ending! Thank you for reading guys :) Hope you enjoyed the latest chapter and by the way, the title of the story is from a song called In The End by Black Veil Brides, I found it rather fitting.**


	5. Nightmare

**A/N: Alright thank you to everyone who has favorited or followed and thank you to Sheepdog20, DyceyMew, LottLott, Ellstra, Tern, WuNsChKiNd15, and tlesschntgaispock for reviewing :)**

**Tern, LottLott, Dyceymew - I did find one on ebay for twenty dollars but I'm just going to print out an image and iron it on to material and make my own pillow :)**

**The song for this chapter is Nightmare by Avenged Sevenfold**

**Seriously, again? I do not freaking own any Star Trek characters but in my dreams Spock is allllll mine (sorry kirk)**

**On with the shooow!**

* * *

Chapter 5 - Nightmare

I awoke to a flash and blinked my eyes open, looking over to see Spock doing the same beside me. We were wrapped around each other tightly, both of us turning to stare at Bones who had a shit eating grin and a camera in one hand. Uhura was beside him, a hand on her hip and a smirk on her face. Scotty was behind her, blushing like crazy and looking extremely uncomfortable.

"Told you I could fix it, you owe me dinner." Uhura said, turning to Bones.

"Doctor Mcoy, is there a reason that this is not the first time that I have awoken to that infernal device?" Spock said tiredly, ducking his head in to my shoulder. I started to grin, hugging him to me.

"Are you making a fucking scrapbook Bones?" I complained, rubbing my eyes and sitting up. "Oh, and give me a copy of that one too."

Spock's head shot up and his gaze flitted to mine, raising an eyebrow at me while I grinned even more.

"You have copies?" He asked.

"Uh, yeah, locked in a vault, where you can't find them." I said, scooching away from him slightly.

"Get back here." He grumbled.

"Now, in all seriousness, vacate my apartment, I had a long night and would like some sleep." Uhura said pulling away the blanket. I grumbled, not wanting to know what made it a long night, but got out of the bed.

"You, are going back to the hospital now." Bones said, pointing at me.

"What!?" I yelled, glaring at him.

"Since she is no longer looking after you, you have no one signed to stay with you for a week straight. Therefore, you shall spend that week at the hospital where you can be supervised." He explained. I groaned and Spock stepped forward until he was standing beside me.

"Why must he be supervised, Doctor?" Bones quickly slipped the camera to Scotty, who ran in to the bathroom and locked the door. If I wasn't facing another week in the hospital, I would have laughed at them.

"Because he made a suicide threat to you and Uhura while driving, and another after you left." Spock's eyebrows raised and he turned to look at me.

"So, either someone signs for me or I go back to the hospital?" I complained, trying to avoid Spock's look. Bones nodded.

"Fraid so Jimbo." I groaned.

"Call Sulu or Chekov!"

"They're visiting their families."

"Scotty?!" I yelled out.

"No!" Uhura and Scotty yelled at the same time, causing me to wince. I sighed, massaging my forehead.

"I'll sign for him." Spock said beside me. I looked over at him in surprise.

"Really?" I said. Bones chuckled and pulled out the oh so convenient paperwork that he just happened to have in his bag. Why do I have a feeling that Uhura planned this?

"We established yesterday that we would both like a relationship, therefore we are now 'boyfriends', am I right?" He asked, grabbing the pen and paper work.

"Yeah." I grumbled, blushing slightly when Bones whistled. I punched him with my good arm and he jabbed a hypo in to my neck, making me cry out.

"What the hell was in that one." I yelled, holding my neck while Spock looked like he was going to tackle Bones.

"Nothing, it just has the same effect as a hypo that contains something." He said, shrugging and moving away from me.

"Spock," I said, turning away from my insensitive best friend. "You do realize that by signing that thing you have to be with me for a week straight, right?"

"I have been with you for longer than that aboard the enterprise. And as I have already signed for you, it is too late." He said, handing the paperwork to Bones.

"Now get out!" Uhura said affectionately, shoving us both out of her room and closing the door.

"I'll be back for the camera." Bones called out as we started out of the apartment.

"Gotcha." Scotty replied. I quickly grabbed Spock's hand before he could lunge at Bones and smiled at him.

"Relax, I like the pictures, they're very cute." I said, making him blush. "Especially when you fell asleep holding my hand." And now he was apple green.

"Okay, so, make sure he isn't suicidal, feed and water him three times a day and take it easy on his healing body. I suggest he tries to relax as much as possible, so no heavy duty sex." Bones said, rambling as we went in to the elevator.

"Jesus Bones! Do you mind?!" I yelled. My face was going red and if possible, Spock's turned greener.

"Not at all, just stating facts." He said, smiling at me before turning away and leaving the elevator. I shook my head as Spock silently led me to the car.

"What's wrong?" I asked, looking over at him as he drove.

"Nothing." He whispered.

"Bullshit, don't lie to me. Vulcans aren't supposed to lie."

"I'm only half Vulcan." He responded, smirking at me. I was taken aback before I growled at him.

"Tell me what's wrong."

"The comment of heavy duty sex, as he put it, reminded me of something." He said, sighing as he pulled the car over in front of a small house.

"This is where you live?" I asked, looking around him. He nodded and then took my hand.

"Are you still dreaming of Khan?" He asked, looking at me gently as though I would break. I swallowed hard at the memory of that nightmare and shuddered.

"No. But I had effectively forgotten, thanks for reminding me." I grumbled, getting out of the car and making me way up the steps.

"Jim, I did not mean to illicit an unwanted memory." He said, getting out of the vehicle and following me up the steps. I stayed silent as he unlocked the door and let me go in first. I stepped inside, taking off my shoes and looking around at the plain, one story house. No decoration, oh wait, there were two pictures, one on the wall and one on a table in the living room. I went over to the one on the wall and saw a young Spock with Sarek behind him and a woman, who I assumed was Amanda, smiling with her hand on his shoulder. I felt sad staring at him. He had no expression on his face and a small, healing cut on his lip. Was he bullied like I was?

I shook my head, walking in to the living room while he followed slowly behind me. The living room had a plush blue carpet, a white armchair and couch and a small TV. There was no other pictures than the one on the table, there wasn't even a lamp.

I walked over to the picture frame and blinked in surprise as I picked it up. It was us, right after I had been given the Enterprise. We were both holding our hats up to our chest, me with a grin on my face and him with a tiny, almost unnoticeable smile on his. I remember Uhura taking the picture, then running over and giving him a kiss. I remember the stab of jealousy when I saw them kissing, my first time ever noticing my feelings for him.

"James?" I put the photo down and smiled at him.

"I can't believe you have that on display. Did you even display any of you and Uhura?"

"Negative, although I did have feelings for her, I never displayed our affection for one another in my living quarters. It was one of the things she pointed out to make me realize my feelings toward you." He responded, sitting down stiffly on the couch. I sat next to him and he relaxed, allowing our arms to touch.

"One of the things? What were the others?" I asked, smirking at him.

"It would be far too long a list for me to say." He responded, the tips of his ears slightly green.

"How about… You show me then?" I whispered, turning to look at him.

"Jim, if I continue to mindmeld with you I might create a bond with you. Are you aware of the… implications that could arise from such a thing?" He replied, not looking at me. His hand was twitching and I wondered if that's exactly what he wanted.

"Explain and I'll decide." He sighed, grabbing my hand to still his.

"A bond is the Vulcan equivalent of human marriage. If we continue to meld with one another, as we have done so two times-."

"Three times." I corrected, cutting him off. He turned to look at me and raised an eyebrow. "Your future self melded with me to show me why the Romulans were attacking."

"Oh, well, as that does not affect me now, it does not count." He said, looking away once more. "As I was saying, if we continue to meld with one another it will form an unbreakable bond. You will feel me and I will feel you and you would be my mate during the Pon Farr."

"I'm sorry, what is Pon Farr?" He turned lime green and turned his head completely away.

"I… Am not ready to discuss such things just yet, though I am 21 so I believe it will happen soon."

"Okay… I already said I'm yours and I wouldn't mind being bonded to you." I said, shrugging.

"Really?" He said, turning and looking at me with surprised eyes. His hand went up to my face and I closed my eyes, waiting for the images of his memories to appear.

_"I do not understand, do you not have feelings for me?" Spock said, his brows furrowed._

_"Yes, I have feelings for you! But you obviously like someone else and can't even see it! I have feelings for someone else as well!" Uhura said, her arms crossed. She looked really sad. They were in my hospital room, the heart monitor beeping quietly in the background as I slept._

_"Who, may I ask, is it that you believe I have feelings for?" He asked. She looked at him incredulously and waved her hand at me._

_"You have been here practically ever since we injected him with the serum! He's the only one to ever break through your self-control, not once, but twice!"_

_"I recall the one time only, explain. What reasoning do you have to prove I have feelings for him and am not simply a close friend and concerned for his well-being."_

_"Oh please!" She yelled, throwing her hands in the air. "He managed to piss you off on the bridge, him dying made you cry and go in to a fit of rage whereas your mother dying in front of you and your entire planet being destroyed, didn't." I felt a tiny ounce of anger before it was quickly locked away._

_"You don't have any pictures of us, but you display one of you and him in your living room. When we were on the Klingon home world, you had your arm and body protectively in front of HIM!" She said, pointing to me. _

_"I was not aware that I had been shielding him. I apologize if that has upset you."_

_"No Spock, I don't want an apology, I want you to admit that you have feelings for him!"_

_"Having feelings for my Captain, who is of the same gender as I am, would be illogical."_

_"Love isn't logical Spock. I've seen you stare at his lips when he talks, or stare at his ass." His lips twitched slightly and he blushed, looking away._

_"Perhaps…"_

_"Spock, it's not working with us. It's fine. We can still be friends and you can be with him."_

_"I can only be with him if he too shares my feelings." She smirked and Spock sighed. "Alright, I understand I have feelings for him. Are you happy?"_

_"Yes, and I want you to be happy. Spock, he risked his title as Captain to save your life. He loves you too."_

I was pulled out of the mind meld and gasped, staring at his blushing face. Now that she pointed it out, holy shit why didn't I notice before?

"You stared at my ass." I said, staring at him incredulously.

"Indeed." He muttered, getting up. My eyes fell on his ass and then I blushed, looking up at his smirking face.

"Shut up." I grumbled, rising to my feet.

"As I had not yet said anything, it seems illogical for you to say that." I groaned, pulling a book of jokes from my back pocket.

"Read this and lighten the hell up." I grumbled. He stared at the cover for a moment before raising an eyebrow.

"Jim, I find no reason as to why I should read such a novel. It does not seem informative at all."

"Spock, I'm tired, can I have a nap?" I muttered, rubbing my forehead. He grabbed my hand, leading me down the hall and in to his room. I saw him blush slightly as I stepped inside. There were clothes thrown in a pile in the corner and his bed was a tangle of blankets and sheets.

"I apologize for the appearance of my room, I have been rather sloppy as of late."

"Sorry." I grumbled, knowing it was my fault. But if this was his definition of sloppy then holy shit.

"Please do not apologize, Jim. As I have said, it is not your fault. I should have never left in the first place." He turned around, hesitating for a mere second before gently pressing his lips to mine. I sighed in content and when he pulled away, I looked at the stack of blankets.

"Help me take off my shirt." I grumbled. I looked over at his hungry gaze and blushed furiously.

"Not like that, you perv! My arm is in a sling and that is an extreme amount of blankets, which I understand you need." He chuckled and tingle of fear went down my spine. It was a deep chuckle. Oh god, was I dreaming? Was I still in the hospital? Did him reminding me of the dream bring it back?

"Jim, what's wrong, you have grown rather pale." Spock said, concern on his face. I was paranoid, I was just paranoid. I reached in to my back pocket, grabbing my comm and unconsciously backing away from Spock, who I feared was going to turn in to Khan at any second.

"Bones, it's Jim." I muttered weakly, unable to take my eyes off Spock.

"Jeez, already? What the hell happened this time, you haven't even been gone an hour!"

"Bones I'm experiencing extreme paranoia and I'm feeling an extreme amount of fear." I whispered, grunting when I hit a wall. I hadn't realized I was still backing up. I slid down the wall, dragging my knees up to my chest and feeling very vulnerable.

"What do you mean, what happened?" Bones said, his voice filled with concern. I couldn't look down at my comm, I couldn't take my eyes off of Khan behind Spock, sharpening a blade quietly on the bed, a smirk on his face.

"Bones, I am hallucinating that Khan is sitting on Spock's bed behind him, sharpening a knife." I whispered. Spock spun around and looked over the bed, confirming that I was hallucinating when he didn't tackle him.

"Alright, calm down, what would have caused this sudden outburst."

"I believe that is my fault, doctor, when I mentioned his nightmare." I shuddered and Spock slowly approached me.

"Whoa, what nightmare? Khan's blood brought you back to life, I need to know if you have nightmares about him!" Bones yelled. I raised my hand, ripping my eyes away from Khan and stretching out to reach Spock. He was there in an instant, pulling me close to him while I finally looked at bones.

"It was an awkward nightmare, why the hell would I tell you. It's bad enough that Spock accidentally saw it!"

"It doesn't matter how awkward it is, Jim, you need to tell me these things."

"Fine, I thought I was having a sex dream about Spock and when the blindfold came off it was Khan raping me!" I yelled. I heard his laughter from the bed and looked over in fear as he stood up.

"Yes, and I would do it again, Captain. I want you to sink as low as you can go before I kill you." He growled.

"Shut up." I whispered.

"Pardon?" Bones said. "Spock where do you live?"

Spock grabbed the communicator from me as my fear turned to anger.

"I will tie you up and make you watch as I rape Spock and then Uhura and then slowly torture them until they both die on your lap. I will make sure you can't escape and when you beg me for death, maybe I will grant it. Or maybe I will keep you as my own, personal, _pet_." Khan growled, stepping closer.

"Stay back." Spock said. I looked over at him in surprise and saw his own surprise.

"Doctor McCoy. I see him too." He muttered. Khan smirked, taking another step forward.

"This isn't possible, he's right here, in the cryotube! I'm staring at him!" I heard bones say.

"I agree, this is highly illogical, but it isn't Jim hallucinating. Call Uhura and get over here." Spock said, hanging up and pulling us both to our feet.

"I must be dreaming." I whispered.

"How so?" Spock asked, looking at me, then down at the arm that he had accidentally pulled from the sling. It was fine. Not bruised, not sprained or broken and I could move it just fine.

"Oh, this isn't a dream, Captain. That is the power of my blood that runs through your veins. I will get my revenge for what you and Spock did to me and my crew."

"Don't let him get to you, Jim."

"Oh, it's Jim now and not Captain. When did this occur? It seems I'll have a lot more fun than I originally thought." Khan's smirk grew as he stepped forward. His image shuddered slightly and he looked down in confusion, his rage showing on his face.

"Spock, what's happening?" I asked.

"I do not have a logical response for you, Captain." He looked down at me, then frowned. "I'm afraid it's a habit Jim. I apologize."

"It's fine. Why didn't we kill that son of a bitch?" I growled.

"Because you are too weak to do what is necessary." He growled, jumping forward. I cried out as a very real Khan crashed down on top of me, his hand on my throat. Spock had him off me in under a second, punching him straight in the face as he had in the memory. He went to punch him again and I flinched as Spock yelled in pain as he had punched the floor.

I looked around before meeting Spock's eyes.

Khan was gone.

* * *

**Dun dun dunnnnnn yeah, finally getting in to some reeeeal Khan drama yeeeeah. I seriously can't decide if I hate Khan or love him. He's just freaking bad ass xD And I know a lot of people bash Uhura but I respect her. And fear her. I'm sorry but, going from that line in the movie, would you be more afraid of Uhura's wrath or the Klingons'?**

**Hope you enjoyed the chapter! If you have any requests as to a funny line or a funny scene let me know and I'll see what I can do for ya :) Until Thursday, Enjooooy!**


	6. Addicted

**A/N The only freaking thing keeping me from throwing this god damn laptop out the window is the fact that I need it! THIS IS THE FOURTH TIME I'VE TRIED TO WRITE THIS! IT KEEPS REFRESHING OR SCREWING UP AND ERASING EVERYTHING!**

**Now that that is out of my system, time for the quickest thing ever. Zachery is gay. I want a sex change to be his gay lover. Check out the Leonard Nimoy vs. Zachary Quinto Audi commercial, it's hilarious.**

**Life sucks. I hate men. They ruin everything. Like my last story cause I just couldn't write I was so depressed. This time I'm going to keep at it though because your reviews made me smile and happy when all I wanted to do was curl in to a ball and cry myself to sleep. Oh.. And alcohol, heeeavy alcohol. But I'm going to be a good girl and for you guys I'm going to truck through it! Ima be a super trooper! wooooooooooo**

**Okay, big thanks to DyceyMew, Ellstra, WuNsChKiNd15, Sapere, The guest who didn't leave a name, Rubyhair, and quenoftheives for reviewing! Thank you to everyone who has favorited and followed the story and me!**

**DyceyMew, Ellstra you guys have been following this story since I freaking posted it so this chapter goes out to you guys!**

**Without your words of awesomeness, I don't think I'd be able to write anymore 3**

**FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, I WISH I OWNED THESE CHARACTERS BUT I DON'T!**

**The song for this chapter is Addicted by Saving Abel**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 6 – Addicted

"Good lord man! How hard were you trying to punch him?" Bones asked, staring in amazement at Spock's slightly swollen hand as he passed a device that I won't even pretend to know over it.

"Hard enough to render him unconscious before you got here so we could determine why this is happening. It was only logical to put that much force in to the blow." Spock said, raising his eyebrow before trailing off. "As well as he had attacked James."

I started to blush furiously as Uhura turned and shook her head.

"You say he was real, able to actually touch you?" She said, wandering over to me, rubbing her arms the way she does when concerned. She started staring at my throat where I'm sure there was a bruise despite how quickly Spock had him off of me.

"Indeed. My first hit made contact with him, while I tried the second time he had already disappeared."

"We should kill him. I don't care if it's not the right thing to do, we need to kill him while he's still in cryo." Uhura said, shaking her head.

"No, it's not right." I said, clenching my fists. I would not be a murderer or an accomplice all because of a hallucination that was… able to touch and be seen by others? This had to be a god damn dream.

"Jim, in this case, I have to agree with Uhura. It may not be the right thing to do, but if it is hindering your safety, as well as the safety of others, we should kill him." Spock said.

"I agree. Vote is three to one." Bones said, shaking his head. "You have three broken knuckles and some damaged cartilage."

"You really didn't need to punch _that_ hard." I grumbled. I didn't like this plan.

"As I already said, it was logical for me to use that much force." He said, blinking. I rolled my eyes.

"What happens if he dies, it's his blood that brought me back. What if I'm connected to him?" I said, trying to form a "logical" solution to this mess.

"That is illogical, but we will do a test first to make sure that causing him pain, and ultimately death, will not harm you." Spock said, watching me as Bones wrapped his knuckles.

"Oy! Why are you not wearing your sling?" Bones yelled when he finished, running over and inspecting my arm. "It's… Completely healed, how is that possible?"

"I don't know, Bones, you tell me!" I yelled, pulling my arm away from him. "I'm tired and would like to sleep."

"Of course, we'll go clear this with Starfleet." Uhura said, grabbing Bones and pulling on his arm.

"Nyota?" I called out, sticking my head out the door. She froze and turned around, blinking in surprise.

"What is it?" She asked.

"He made a threat against you, please… Be careful, and try not to stay alone." I said, running my hand through my hair. She nodded once and smiled affectionately at me before leaving.

"What kind of threat, Jim?" Spock asked when I returned to the room.

"A threat. I rather not describe the details." I grumbled, pulling off my shirt. Before I could even put the shirt down I was on the bed, pinned under Spock. My hands were held above my head, his mouth near my ear.

"Just tell me Jim." He whispered. My back arched involuntarily and I gasped when my body came in contact with his.

"Especially since you are giving me a boner, I really don't want to go in to detail." I groaned. He suddenly dropped his weight, pinning me completely to the bed and biting my ear lobe.

"If you do not tell me, I will continue to please you to the point where you lose control and then refuse to have sexual activity of any sort with you." I gasped, blinking in surprise as he pulled away slightly and smirked at me.

"You are truly evil." I hissed. "He said that he was going to tie me up and force me to watch him rape you, rape Uhura and then torture you both slowly until you die in front of me and then keep me as a pet."

"Oh." He muttered, releasing me. I groaned as he slid off of me and lay beside me.

"What? You tease me and then when I answer you, you still don't do anything!" I said, smiling to let him know I was joking. He rolled over on to his side, propping himself up so he could see me.

"And what would you like me to do to you," he leaned in close to my ear. "Captain."

I groaned in response and closed my eyes. Really, REALLY evil.

"Anything that pleases you." I groaned. How the hell do you tell a Vulcan, I want you to blow me until I explode in your mouth? He would probably say something like "that would be a highly illogical action."

"No, I would not, James." He growled in my ear. My eyes widened and he smirked, getting on top of me again.

"Spock, did you just read my thoughts?" I muttered. I didn't think raising my voice any higher would be possible with the way he was pressed against me. And there's that smirk again, god damn it.

"I think I like having skin-to-skin contact with you. You can't avoid telling me what you want, Captain." Oh god, since when did him calling me captain stop annoying me and start turning me on!

"Spock, please!" I groaned.

"As you command." He whispered, kissing me passionately before kissing down my chest, the entire time he was playing with my pants until he finally popped the button.

"God damn it Spock." I groaned. "I love you."

"As I love you." He murmured against my stomach. My heart skipped a beat and I moaned gently as his tongue found my nipple. I felt him smile before he started tugging my pants down slowly.

"Sadistic elf." I grumbled.

"Indeed." He whispered, kissing my lips gently. I liked this, not that I didn't like the rough kisses either, but this was… romantic in a sense.

His hand slipped my boxers down rather quickly compared to my jeans and gripped my very hard dick in his hand. I gasped, throwing my head back with a groan as he kissed down my chest, all the while slowly pumping his hand.

"Beautiful." He muttered before running the tip of his rough tongue along the crevice of my head. I moaned loudly, knotting my hands in his now shaggy hair.

"On second thought," I somehow managed to say even though he had flicked his tongue against me. "I'm liking the long hair."

He chuckled slightly and then in one go he had engulfed my entire cock in his mouth, swallowing slightly and causing me to utter cuss words.

Did Vulcans have no gag reflex, or is it just Spock? God damn it was hard to think with him sucking me like that! His mouth was so warm, his tongue felt foreign to my skin, but a good foreign. Oh fuck, if he keeps this up I'm going to cum quicker than ever.

He moaned slightly, the vibrations eliciting a loud moan. I felt myself rising higher and higher until I was holding his head with one hand while the other tangled in the sheets. My head was thrown back, my eyes clenched shut as I moaned his name over and over again as though it were a prayer.

Oh Jesus… I can't hold it any longer…

"Spock… Oh god… Spock I'm going to…" I didn't get to finish my sentence before he had taken me all the way in again and swallowed hard. I cried out his name as I came harder than I had ever cum, panting as he swallowed it all before slowly pulling away with an audible pop and licking the tip clean.

"You taste amazing, Captain." He whispered in my ear.

"Your turn." I panted, kissing him roughly and flipping us over. He pulled back slightly, his cheeks flushed and kissed the tip of my nose.

"Not tonight, you were going to have a nap before I otherwise occupied you. I enjoyed pleasing you, to the extent where I must go change my pants before I too join you to read that book you think will be informative." Oh jeez, even after that he's still talking "logically"

"Are you sure?" I whispered, collapsing in exhaustion on top of him. Damn, I was even more tired than I thought.

"Positive, to do anything in your current state would be illogical. As well as you do not need to return the favor, as you would say, as I was more than happy to do so." I kissed his neck as he talked before rolling off, watching as he stood up and pulled off his shirt. Damn it, why did he have to be so hot? I watched as he grabbed a pair of boxers and pants and started towards the door.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" I yelled, sitting up and staring at him in disbelief.

"Yes?" He asked, raising one of those perfect eyebrows of his.

"I am lying here on your bed _completely naked_, and you are going to leave the room to change?" I said, shaking my head. He started to blush slightly before closing the door and self-consciously stripping. He was slightly hard and I couldn't help but stare. Yeah, I considered myself large, but he was huge! And that was only half hard, if I bottomed, that is going to hurt.

"Jim?" He asked, making me blush and look up at him.

"I'm naked, why don't you just come here?" I whispered, blushing harder. He walked over slowly, climbing in beside me and grabbing the book out of fucking nowhere. How did he do that?

"I love you, James." He said, kissing the top of my head as I slipped under his arm curled up to him.

"I love you too, Spock." I said, smiling and kissing his pale green nipple before closing my eyes. I heard him sigh in content before pulling the blankets around us. I nuzzled against him and he chuckled, placing the arm I had slipped under around me as I drifted off.

* * *

**Alright, finally getting some steamy action! Last chapter I had a question, who would you be more scared of Klingons or Uhura, so you know what, time for another question cause I like seeing your answers! Would you get a sex change if there was the possibility of being with Zachary Quinto?**


	7. I'm Scared Now

**A/N Alright, time for the next chapter!**

**Thank you to Golden Feathers Edward, Sheepdog20, Ruby Hair, DyceyMew, Ellstra and Tern for reviewing the last chapter! You guys make writing worthwhile :) And thank you to everyone who favorited and followed the story so far!**

**I would like to dedicate this chapter to Ellstra for helping me make a decision about it and for being super awesome!**

**Alright, I know super nerd here but I'm learning Vulcan and it's a little rusty at the moment... But yeah translations will be in the Author's Note at the end of the chapter! **

**The song for this chapter is I'm Scared Now by The Bunny The Bear**

**I do not freaking own Star Trek or its characters.**

* * *

Chapter Seven: I'm Scared Now

"Good morning." I heard Spock mutter gently. I blinked my eyes open and smiled. We were face to face, cuddled close together.

"Mornin'" I whispered, kissing him softly.

"How was your sleep?"

"Peaceful, knowing that you were right here next to me." I replied, nuzzling his nose with mine. His lips twitched and he ducked in for another kiss.

"Good." He murmured against my lips.

"I had an idea." I said, referring to the whole damn Khan situation.

"Shall I instruct Uhura to notify the proper media channels?"

"I never should have given you that book of jokes, it was the worst idea I have ever had." I grumbled, tucking my head under his chin.

"Apart from your particular choice of hairstyle, Captain?" He responded. Oh god, what did I do?

"Do I have to withhold sex of any kind until you give me a straight answer?"

"Beings of a homosexual nature are unable to provide such answers."

"Spock!" I yelled, rolling over on to my back as he started to chuckle.

"That is my designated alias. Please do not overuse that title."

"Okay, you win, you're too quick for me." I groaned, rubbing my eyes. It was too early in the morning for this shit.

"That is what the female stated."

"I'm out!" I yelled, getting out of bed and looking for my clothing. I looked up to see Spock's lips twitching at the corners. "Spock. Where's my clothing?"

"They were in need of a wash so I put them in the laundry chute." He said, trying not to smile.

"Those were the only clothes I had." I said, feeling exposed.

"Indeed, and until I get around to washing them I suppose you shall have to go naked." He responded, tilting his head with a smirk.

"Son of a bitch." I groaned, pinching the bridge of my nose.

"It is impolite to speak of my mother in such a manner." He said, getting up. He looked down for a moment before blushing apple green and sitting back down, pulling the blankets over his lap.

"Morning wood, Spock?" I asked, smirking and slowly walking over to him.

"It would appear as though your naked appearance and waking up to your naked state has aroused me." He grumbled.

"So formal Spock, why don't you just ask me to relieve you?" I whispered, crawling on to his lap. He inhaled sharply before biting my shoulder.

"That would cause you pleasure, Captain, and I am trying to torture you." He responded. Bones was right. Evil, pointy eared, fucking hobgoblin. I pushed him down on to his back, biting his neck gently and earning myself a moan. I smirked, thinking back to our conversation in the hospital.

"What happened to wanting me to bite you being illogical?" I whispered in his ear before nibbling on the point.

"That was before I knew it would cause such pleasure." He grumbled. I leaned in, kissing his lips gently and relaxing. Sure, we were both naked, but it wasn't anything sexual. It was soft, loving and made my heart ache as we just laid there and kissed slowly and passionately.

The beeping of the comm made me groan and I got up enough to retrieve it, making sure video was off before I answered it.

"Yes?" I asked, going back to kissing Spock. To my surprise, and pleasure, he didn't stop me, only chuckling slightly before kissing me back.

"Do I want to know why you have video turned off?" Bones asked, his voice sounding slightly scared of the answer.

"Because me and Spock are having a naked make out session, want to join?" I said back. Spock pulled away from me, raising an eyebrow in question.

"Spock and I, Jim. And no, I most certainly don't want to join, and I most certainly do not want any more details. Just… Get dressed and get down here, we have the go ahead."

"I'm making out, can't it wait?" I growled, smashing my lips down on Spock's so suddenly that he didn't have a chance to hold back a rather loud moan of pleasure.

"Okay, finish whatever and get down here, I do not want to hear your pointy eared boyfriend moaning! Good. Bye." He yelled, causing me to go in to a laughing fit as I closed the comm and threw it on the bed.

"You still owe me a new comm." Spock pointed out, I rolled my eyes.

"I'm sure I can convince you to let me pay you in another manner." I whispered in his ear.

"What you did to Leonard was not very nice, Jim." Aaaand I see the make out session is over. Thank you Bones!

"Well, fine, we have to go, what the hell am I wearing?" I yelled sitting up.

"Why are you not talking to me?" Spock asked obliviously as he parked the car outside of the Starfleet Command building. I glared at him and opened the car door, getting out and slamming it.

"May I presume you are sexually frustrated that I would not continue to kiss you?" He said. A few people started to stare at the comment and I spun around and gave him a "What the fuck are you doing talking about that so openly in public you stupid Vulcan?!" face.

"No, you may not presume!" I yelled back, spinning around and stalking to the front door. A few people stopped and snickered at me and I glared at them.

"Oh… Is it because of the only attire I could find to fit you?"

"I hate you right now." I grumbled, grabbing my pass from my pocket and swiping it when prompted by the elevator. We were heading up to a classified area, it was needed to keep stragglers out.

"Jim-."

"Why the fuck do you even own this kind of shirt?" I yelled, spinning to look at him. I could see my reflection in the mirrored walls and honestly wanted to punch him. I saw hurt in his eyes and I realized I probably shouldn't have said that I hated him.

"It was what you would call a gag gift from Nyota." He said, lifting his eyebrow. "I apologize, I didn't think it would matter. Would you like my uniform jacket?"

"Don't worry about it…" I grumbled, feeling bad for exploding over such a small thing as a neon pink shirt with a kitten wearing sunglasses on it.

"If it elicits feelings such as hate towards me I will worry…" He said, looking away.

"Spock, I'm sorry, I don't hate you and you know it. I shouldn't have blurted that out." I grumbled, taking his hand in to mine.

"If you say so Captain." And he was shutting me out. I took my hand away as if he had burned me. The doors opened and I speed walked out, Uhura turning around and having to stifle her laughter. On second thought, I wanted to kill him for making me wear this god damn shirt.

Something wrapped around my shoulders and I looked over to see Spock in just his dress shirt. I huffed out a sigh and nodded my thanks before quickly buttoning it up. I swear, Uhura fucking pouted. Bones turned around from working on his padd and blinked, looking at the distance between me and Spock and the look on my face and his.

"Trouble in paradise?" He asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Shut up. Let's just get this done." I growled.

"Alright, take off the jacket and the shirt, I'm going to make an incision and see if it affects you. We won't have the all clear from the new Admiral until we are sure it won't hurt you, but he seems pretty keen on getting rid of the bastard as well." Bones explained, standing up and motioning with his hand to fork over my clothing. I glared over at Spock as I undid his jacket and handed it back to him.

"And now I see why there is trouble in paradise, apparently the kitten has interfered!" Bones managed to say through his laughter.

"I will walk out now." I growled. "I will walk out now and never speak to you again."

"Loosen up." Uhura said, grabbing the hem of the shirt and shoving it up and over my head. I couldn't help but smirk at Spock when possessiveness flared in his eyes. Shove it and deal with it.

"Alright, tell me when you are ready and I'll make an incision." Bones said, rolling his eyes and preparing the scalpel that they had managed to rig in to the cryotube.

"Let's get this over with." I said, taking a stabling breath. I stood there, shirtless, waiting, but nothing happened. Five minutes passed after he had cut Khan and nothing happened to me. I let out my breath and ran a hand through my hair, stiffening when Uhura cried out.

Next thing I knew, Spock was snarling and there was a knife at my throat and an arm around my waist.

"Remove the knife and open my cryotube NOW!" Khan ordered. I swallowed gently, but the knife was held too tightly and I hissed as it cut skin.

"Release him now." Spock said, his phaser aimed at Khan's head. Hell, I didn't even notice him grab that this morning!

"How is this possible?" Nyota whispered, her hand twitching towards her own phaser.

"Grab it and I'll slit his pretty little throat, heal him just before death, and then do it all over again." He growled. "Now open my cryotube and release me."

"I don't care what the fuck happens to me, don't do it." I growled. I cried out as he bit in to my shoulder hard enough to break the skin, the blood trickling down.

"What's the matter, Captain? You enjoyed my biting you in our little dream." He said, flicking his tongue against my wound. I clenched my teeth and Spock's hand started to shake.

"Kill me and I will make sure that with my dying breath, it kills him too." Khan yelled when Bone's made a move. Suddenly, the skin above my heart sliced open, blood flowing out.

"Jesus, they're linked." Bones uttered, standing up and raising his hands.

"Not quite, _doctor_." Khan spat out. "I have a direct line to him through his blood, he is allowing me to manifest."

"If I could block it, I would you disgusting creep." I growled.

"None the less, you make this all possible, Captain. I should repay you, should I not?" He said, his lips brushing against my ear. I wanted to fucking retch as his hand slipped from my stomach and down my pants. Right here? He was going to molest me here in front of my boyfriend, his ex and my closest friend?!

"I apologize in advance Captain." Spock said, sounding strained. I didn't even get to open my mouth before his aim switched to behind him and he shot the cryotube beside Khan's.

"NO!" Khan yelled, throwing me to the ground, giving me a swift kick to the gut before launching himself at Spock. I was trying to regain my breath, my fear rising as Spock took a hit to the face and went down.

"You will not hurt him!" I yelled. Khan froze in place, his arm shaking as though he were being held by an invisible force.

"James, how are you doing that?" Uhura asked quietly, sinking down beside me to help me sit up.

"You said that your blood in my system gives you the ability to manifest through me?" I growled, shaking Uhura off as I seemed to leech strength from Khan. "Then I say, you will not hurt him, or anyone, I won't let you. I know how to stop you now and I am not afraid to die if it means taking you down with me you bastard."

"How very noble of you, Captain." He growled, lowering his fist as Spock stared at me as though I were someone he didn't know. Green blood was seeping slowly from a crack in his lip. My gaze whipped up to Khan and his eyes widened as his own lip split open.

"I will NOT stand by and watch you hurt the man I love." I snarled, stalking forward.

"Then I believe we should make a deal."

"What kind of deal?" I asked, glaring as he turned and tilted his head.

"Captain-!"

"You allow me to live in your mind, you obviously know you can control me." He smirked, cutting Spock off. There was a catch and I knew it but… I looked at Spock on the ground, then at Bones and Uhura. To save them…

"Captain, do not even consider his words!" Spock yelled.

"Than ri kroi nash-Spock." I said, slipping in to Vulcan. His eyes widened, I don't think he knew I could speak any other language.

"Du lav-tev-tor va-ashiv!" He yelled back.

"Kup-sarlah nas veh kup zhil k'ish." I whispered, looking away.

"Dungi-fam pak-tor du ashiv." He growled.

"Wani ra yana ro aisha, ni than ri kroi nash!" I yelled, meeting his eyes. His gaze softened and a look of pain crossed his face.

"Ang'jmizn-."

"Hiyet Spock!" I whispered, interrupting him. "Enough…"

"No, James, he's right!"

"Nyota, shut up!" I yelled, shooting her a glare. "This is my decision."

"I feel completely left out." Bones grumbled. I snickered and rolled my eyes before focusing my attention on Khan.

"In return, I am in complete control, and you will hurt no one." I growled.

"Deal." He growled, holding out his hand.

"Deal." I whispered, grabbing hold of it and falling to my knees as he disappeared and my wounds healed.

"Ra ki'du palikaya?" Spock whispered.

* * *

**A/N: Alright starting with the first sentence**

**Than ri kroi nash-Spock - Do not stop this Spock**

**Du lav-tev-tor va-ashiv - You could die again**

**Kup-sarlah nas veh kup zhil k'ish - I am able to come to terms with that**

**Dungi-fam pak-tor du ashiv - I will not lose you again**

**Wani ra yana ro aishi, ni than ri kroi nash - I love you, so do not stop this**

**Ang'jmizn - Captain**

**Hiyet - Enough **

**Ra ki'du palikaya - What have you begun**

**Alrighty! Author's question for today is for all of you who know Zachary Quinto from Heroes! I just started watching it and have only seen the first three episodes but... holy... crap... Would you still love him even as the creepy Sylar?**

**Hope you enjoyed! Thank you for reading!**


End file.
