Naruto 1. The Terror that is Tsunade

Standard disclaimers apply to this story.

Chapter 1 The Terror that is Tsunade

Today is just one of those typical other days in the hidden city of Konoha. The city is still busy and people are going about in their own lives. In fact, it was too monotonous for some people and that "some" people includes the Fifth Hokage, Tsunade. And for most people, seeing the Hokage bored is not a very pretty sight.

Tsunade yawned. "Its times like these that makes me wanna kill somebody… No work, no play… hmmn… Hey, Kami-sama! Work your magic! Can't you see I'm bored stiff over here? C'mon send me a sign or anything!" she yelled as she drove herself insane at each passing moment.

It wasn't until she looked out the window, did she realize the answer to her problems…

'_Hmm…'_ she thought deeply _'So many Jounins out there… not to mention the new Chuunins… Can't afford them lazing around, ne? They're probably doing something worthwhile…'_ "Ha! I'll just try and talk to them" Tsunade exclaimed. "and by talk meaning: either to annoy, terrorize or scold the jounins and chuunins… Tsk! Tsk! You're so bad, Hokage-sama!" said by the Hokage's inner-self, while smiling evily and rubbing her hands together. "So, whose the lucky victim?"

As Tsunade's inner-self debated on whom to terrorize today, Tsunade herself had already the perfect victim to start her little escapade. "Shut up!" she told her inner self "and let's find that favorite masked pervert of ours! (**cough** Kakashi **cough**)" and with that, and a few hand movements, she vanished in a puff of smoke.

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Peace out, y'all!


	2. Icha Icha: Pradise Lost

Standard disclaimers apply.

Chapter 2 Icha Icha: Paradise Lost

Hatake Kakashi was exiting a bookshop, clutching a bag full of the latest installment of his, and a few others', favorite book: Icha Icha Paradise, (Yeah, I know. A bookshop? With, _THAT_ book? What the hell was I thinking? 0X3) when another book in the bag had caught his eye. "Well, what do we have here?" the silver-haired jounin thought.

At first, he thought that it was just another one of books that he had just bought (considering that those books had the honor of having its own shelf away from the **cough** "innocent and other minds" **cough**) but when he took a closer look, he saw that the cover was not at all …er… let us just say that, it wasn't quite like the others.

Intrigued, Kakashi had stopped and took out the book to read its contents. What Kakashi had read in the book was obviously made-up, because the book was actually a compilation of fairy tales about forty thieves, genies in bottles and beautiful women full of wit and cunning.

He was about to take off when, in a sudden puff of smoke, Tsunade, the fifth Hokage, appeared in front of him.

"Hatake!" the blond exclaimed in an overly creepy tone of mock sweetness. "How are you? Haven't seen you in a few days! What have you been up to? Not peeping on girls and reading that book of yours, eh? You know that I will be VERY angry!" and she grinned rather evilly.

Before Kakashi could come up with a lame excuse and hide his precious books, Tsunade had already spotted the bag and had grabbed the contents inside. It was an amusing yet disturbing sight, watching the Hokage's expression turn from mock sweetness to sheer anger in a mere second.

Knowing that his end is near, Kakashi had already taken a few steps back and broke to a complete run at the same time Tsunade had gone through the "metamorphosis" (Think chibi Kakashi running for his life away from the hideous "dragon lady" with hands in the air and tears anime style. 0X3).

But of course there would be no thrill if Kakashi had gotten away from dragon lady, ne? So, this author, no matter how much she loves Kakashi, will not let him get away that easily because she would absolutely love to see Kakashi suffer in Tsunade's clutches. (The evil side of the author appears and smiles evilly while shouting "GO, TSUNADE-SAMA! Banish the pervert that is KAKASHI! Bwahahaha!" along with the Hokage's inner-self, celebrating the near end of the perverted era.) Hehe. He is DEAD. SO DEAD.

Meanwhile, Kakashi had stopped running and had hid himself at some trees nearby. While he was busy catching his breath, the dragon lady had already smelled Kakashi's trail by using her cunning and vicious… PIGS (!). Having the sense of her triumph, Tsunade slowly walks towards her prey (insert creepy music from horror movies where the killer nears the victim without the victim noticing.) and when Kakashi cautiously peered behind the tree, he saw his worst nightmare.

The next thing he knew, Tsunade was already hitting his head with her fist, shouting words that where very foreign to him (it was due to the fact that her constant pummeling to his head had temporarily affected his hearing, making it hard to string the words together).

"How dare you, buy a book like that! And to think your one of the most respected…" she shouted in his ear continuing her speech about the effects of such book to young minds. (Though it was a little known fact, that Tsunade herself was… er… _fond_ of reading Icha Icha Paradise and that she secretly read all the installments from the books she confiscated from Kakashi years ago. Nobody knew, of course. What was she, stupid?)

It was then, when a book from Kakashi's pocket fell, did Tsunade feel really angry. She was about to start yelling again, about him daring to sneak another book from under her nose but when she saw the cover of the book, she let go of Kakashi and proceeded in reading the book.

Another odd thing happened, Tsunade's face suddenly became different. From a terrifying facade, she immediately changed to an expression like she was formulating something in her mind.

"Well, Kakashi-kun." Tsunade started "You should thank Kami that He sent you this book. For upon reading it, I had a brilliant idea. So you're free to go. And as for these…" she pointed to the bag of Icha Icha Paradise books. "I think I will take them with me. Can't risk polluting our young minds' generation, eh?"

And with that she vanished in a puff of smoke, leaving a chibi Kakashi dumbfounded at the series of events, and knowing exactly what to do with the books she just confiscated (wink, wink).

Reviewers are much appreciated. You guys rock! \m/

Peace out, y'all!


	3. What the ?

Standard disclaimers apply.

Chapter 3 What the …!

"…"

Silence had echoed in the Hokage's office. It was minutes after Tsunade had announced her "brilliant" plan to a few selected jounins. She impatiently tapped her long fingers in her desk as she waited for the late reaction of the people in front of her.

"Well? What do you think? I know a least _one_ of you people have a reaction to my proposal. So get it out of your system! I haven't got all day!"

Silence.

"Fine." Tsunade exclaimed "If you don't say anything, I will deduct 50 of your pay." _That should wake them up_ Tsunade thought.

Still silence.

_What? They won't even answer to 50? Fine I guess I'll just raise the stakes…_

"Fine. How about 75?"

More silence.

Man, are these people retarded already? I mean it's 75 deduction from their salary, for pete's sake! Hmm… I guess desperate times call for desperate measures…

"If you don't say anything in the next five seconds, there will be NO more free food every time you come here and on your coffee breaks. Plus, I will not tolerate for any longer those who smoke, read perverted books, drink liquor and appriciate the… what do you call 'em?… oh, yeah… springtime of our youth. And I mean it."

Well, THAT proved to be very effective because in the next few seconds, everybody in the room had spoken at the same time.

"Well, that isn't a bad idea, I suppose…"

"It's okay. Things are getting boring here anyways."

"It will be a good example of showing the blossoming power of our youth!"

"As long as I don't part with my sake, count me in."

You were probably wondering who were those that the Hokage-sama is talking to. And basing on some of the reactions, it's pretty clear who they are.

-Flashback-

"You wanted to see us, Hokage-sama?

"Ah, yes." Tsunade replied as she acknowledged each person in the room. "Anko, Asuma, Kurenai, Kakashi, Iruka, Gai. You were probably wondering what the hell are you doing in my office in this time of the day. Well, here is the answer. As you know, our village is becoming too monotonous for our liking, is it not?"

A few heads nodded.

"So," she said in a rather business-like way. "I have formulated a little plan that includes you people, a few inactive chuunins, preferably your old students, and a whole week of your time to let loose." And she proceeded in declaring her plan.

-End Flashback-

"So let me get this straight, Hokage-sama." said Iruka "You want US to help you do THAT just for the sheer entertainment of it?"

"No, of course not. They people who will get the upper hand will train the ones with lower or vice versa and the village will also benefit from the money we will get. Plus, it will be very amusing to see those kids do things around and besides no harm will be done."

Knowing that the Hokage isn't going to give this up, Iruka just sighed and agreed with the rest of the others.

"Great. Then you will be the one to tell your former students of the surprise. And as for you people," she looked at the others "you will watch over them and report everything to me. And I mean EVERYTHING." as she emphasized the words with an evil glint in her eye. "Now that everything is clear between us I suggest that you start with this project immediately. You may go." And she ushered the half-confused jounins out of her door.

"Ne, why do you think Kakashi-sensei called us to meet him an hour ago? Do you think he'll treat us ramen? Huh, Sakura-chan? What d'ya think? Sakura-chan? SAKURA-CHAN!" Naruto yelled as, for the millionth time, he asked Sakura the possible reason Kakashi-sensei asked for them to meet him an hour ago.

"WHHAAAAATTT?" Sakura retorted angrily. "For pete's sake, Naruto-kun. Ask Kakashi-sensei that instead of me! Hayaku! We're already late!"

"Late? What do you mean?"

"Baka!" she yelled as she punched the blond squarely on the head. "Look at the time! We're supposed to meet at the usual spot an HOUR ago!"

"Ittai!" he pouted as he rubbed the sore spot. "An hour ago, huh? Then we aren't late! I bet Kakashi-hentai ain't there yet and the only one waiting is Sasuke-bastard!"

"Baka!" as she tried to punch him again only missing his head by a few inches. "That's what I meant! If it hadn't took you so long in eating at Ichiraku's, my poor Sasuke-kun wouldn't be waiting and he will have me for his company!"

"Long? Me? Eating?" he pointed to himself in disbelief. "FYI, I never even had the chance to taste the ramen I ordered 'coz you pulled me away saying that it's important! And all we have to do is meet that hentai and that bastard?"

"Shut up! And besides, before I came along, you already had 15 bowls of ramen!"

"Correction! 14 and a HALF! You spilled the other half when you pulled me out of Ichiraku's! And I'm tellin' you, it takes MORE than that for me to savor the SMELL of ramen! Let alone its TASTE!"

"Well, whatever! C'mon, let's hurry up! I can already see my Sasuke-kun and… IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS?" Sakura exclaimed as they drew nearer their meeting place and let her jaw drop to the ground when she saw who was with 'her Sasuke-kun'.

"Eh? Sakura-chan?" said Naruto as he looked from the shocked face of Sakura to the direction of her gaze. Then, his jaw dropped. "Ahhhhh!" he screamed while pointing at the man beside Sasuke. "Kakashi-hentai! What are you doin' here?"

"Yo." The silver-haired jounin greeted, ignoring the blond's question.

"Your late." Said the handsome boy beside Kakashi.

"What do you mean 'we're late'?" Naruto yelled.

"Baka, where supposed to meet an hour ago." Sasuke muttered under his breath though it was loud enough to be heard by blond boy.

"Nobody asked for your opinion, pretty boy."

"Che…" the raven-haired boy mumbled, knowing that it was a big waste of time, effort and breath to argue with the ramen-obsessed boy. Plus, it wasn't his job to have a loudmouth fest slash argument with him. That honor belonged to either Sakura, the Dog-boy (Kiba), or Ino. (AN: Notice how every genin group has their own loudmouth? With exception, of course, of team seven. But still it's balanced 'coz team seven has two loudmouths, team eight has two quiet-types. Anyway…) His only job was to annoy, piss off or motivate Naruto with his ultra-super-cool-but-he's-still-so-damn-hot attitude, and it was an enough job for him, thank you very much. And besides he needed the silence to do the normal Sasuke-ish things, which are…

be angsty

plan his oh-so-sweet revenge to Itachi for what he did this morning. (AN: No, he did not annihilate the Uchiha clan this morning… He's a good(?) guy here. 0X3)

(3) wonder the actual fact that Kakashi is actually standing beside him, actually on time and actually did not read Icha Icha on the past hour that they have waited for Sakura and Naruto. (AN: I know. The 'End' is near, people!)

Speaking of Sasuke's job, Naruto was already annoyed with his **s**upposed **t**o **b**e **r**ival **s**lash **b**est **f**riend (or the next closest thing) and that attitude of his. He was about to punch his **stbrsbf**, when Kakashi suddenly said, "Be careful not to be late next time, ok, Naruto? Sakura? It's impolite, especially if you're an **hour** late."

With these words Naruto glared at Kakashi, while Sakura is still a few feet away and still getting over the fact of her sensei being early. "Don't you dare teach me on how to be on time, sensei! You don't set a good example yourself! For all I know your just an imposter!"

At last, Sakura had gotten over the turn of events. She stepped in between her sensei and Naruto and politely asked, "Sensei, why did you want to meet us?"

The other two stopped whatever they were doing and focused their attention on their sensei.

"Sorry, kids. I'm not allowed to tell you. I'm just here to accompany you to the Academy. That's where you'll find out what's in store for you. Now c'mon, it's almost time." And he started walking towards the Academy.

"The Academy, huh? Wonder what are we gonna do there?" Sakura thought as she ran to catch up with the others.

"Konnichiwa, minna-san."

As everyone was saying their greetings to their former sensei, a certain blond loudmouth was as happy and loud as always.

"KONNICHIWA, IRUKA-SENSEI!" he yelled cheerfully which caused a few others to snicker or shake their heads mumbling 'he'll never change'.

"Shut up, you idiot." Inuzuka Kiba casually said while leaning on the back of his chair with his arms over his head. "And do us the favor 'coz you're polluting the air."

"Who are you calling an idiot, Dog-boy?" the blond retorted hotly. "You wanna eat dirt or you're just chicken?"

As they shot death glares to each other, Hyuga Neji, who was sitting a few feet away, said something that sounded like "morons", which he hid in a cough though everyone had heard it.

"What did you say, you prick! You wanna fight me?" both of the boys roared in unison.

They were already standing up and ready to fight, when Iruka-sensei had stopped them.

"Boys, boys. Calm down. And let me proceed in telling you why you're here." Hope what you're thinking is going to work, Hokage-sama. He thought desperately.

The class now stopped whatever they were doing and gave their full attention on what their beloved teacher has to say.

"As you know, the life here is getting pretty dull." He looked around and saw a few heads agreeing, " and the number of missions are getting pretty slim. So Hokage-sama has planned a little something for you guys to do."

"What could it possibly be, sensei?" Lee asked.

"Ah, I'm getting to that Lee, don't worry. Now, where was I? Oh, yes… So, the Hokage has ordered me to tell you that some of you might have the opportunity to have a "genie" or have one of your fellow chuunins under your command and train them or vice versa…" murmurs ascended and a few heads nodded in agreement "for a full week. And you get the chance to pick your genie in an auction, which means you have to offer to pay a sum of money to have the genie. But, of course, there is a plus if you became a genie, the one with the highest bid is supposed to get the genie. But in this case, we will take the 3 highest bidders and let the genie pick one to be his/her "master". Plus, the genies will be auctioned in full costume provided by Kurenai-sensei, Anko-sensei and Tsunade-sama. The genies will be determined by picking random names from this box." He raised a black box for everybody to see. "Each of your names is here. If you're lucky enough to have a genie, you can do whatever you like with him/her. Just remember that a group of elite jounins, including me, will be watching your every move. And if you ever," he scoffed bitterly. "become an unwilling "genie" and decided to ditch your "master", you will have to face the wrath of our Hokage. So be warned."

By the time he finished his discussion, each face was plastered with an expression of either confusion, amazement, horror or simply dumbfounded as if saying, "WTF?". As silence ensued on the classroom, one by one the students got over the shock and looked at their former sensei. The latter sensing this, organized himself and cleared his throat.

"Well then, you may have a 15-minute break to go back to your house and get the necessary things for the auction. But before you leave, a little glimpse of who gets to be the first genie to be auctioned; you know, to motivate you guys." As he drew his hand in the black box to pick out the first "victim".

"And our first genie is…" he announced as he mused on the possible chaos later that day due to the fact that the first victim will be unwillingly put to a costume, much to the delight of others…

"Uchiha Sasuke."

Reviewers are much appreciated. You guys rock! \m/

Peace out, y'all!


	4. IMPORTANT!

Author's note: (Very important!)

Konnichiwa minna-san! Gomenasai for the disappointment, demo, this chapter is basically only an author's note kinda crap but this is terribly important for me!

Nevertheless, I was kinda thinkin' of not continuing (not the fic people! I'm planning in finishing this!) the NaruSaku pairing. Why, you may ask? Well, blame it partially on the little part of me who absolutely loathes Sakura! But anyway, it's just so happens that I got the idea of pairing Naruto with an OC instead… Yes, I plan on inserting a few OCs here in 'AN-NS!' And the names that I have planned and who they will be paired to, will be written on the later part but I won't describe them. For those who will read that part, please, oh please do NOT steal the names. I took me forever to come up with those.

Please tell me if you want the NaruOC or to continue the NaruSaku pairing. Onegaishimasu! cries

Please don't worry about the future chapters to be sort as the previous ones. I have tried to make them long enough for everyone's tastes! Thanks very much to _khmer shinobi_ for requesting this! (A/N to khmer shinobi: Anou… are you mad at me?)

Anyway, minna-san, arigatou gozaimasu for reviewing! bows

Possible names for OCs and their pair.

Yuuhi Natsumi Yep. She will be Kurenai's little sister- Naruto

Misaki Aina- Gaara

Inuzawa Izumi- Shino Yeah, kinda sounds like Inuzuka doesn't it? Don't worry guys I'll change it.

Tsubashi Ryo- Temari

Do the names suck? Please tell me! begs


	5. Damn, It’s Gonna be a Long Afternoon

Standard disclaimers apply.

­­­­­­­­

Chapter 4 Damn, It's Gonna be a Long Afternoon.

"…Uchiha Sasuke."

Time stopped.

Girls' jaws dropped.

Boys foresee impending doom.

Iruka sighed.

"Class, the 15-minute break already started. Your time's running out. I suggest you go home and…"

Before he finished his sentence, all the girls in the room (sans TenTen and Hinata), broke from their _'Sasuke-is-gonna-be-my-genie-and-he'll-fall-in-love-with-me-in-that-one-week-and-we'll-live-happily-ever-after'_ trance, came to the sudden realization that…

_All females (again, minus TenTen and Hinata) were rivals._

_They were all broke and…_

_Time was running out. _

After that slight insight, everything began to happen so fast.

Girls screeched.

Screams of _'Hands off him, bitches! He's mine!'_ _'Sasuke's gonna be mine!'_ and _'Back off_ _sister, or I'll kill you!'_ and so on and so forth could be heard.

A stampede took place.

Boys (plus TenTen and Hinata) sought sanctuary under the tables.

Then…

_Silence._

As the male population (again, plus TenTen and Hinata), dared to look at their surroundings, only a massive cloud of dust could only be seen.

Sensing safety, Iruka-sensei got off his hiding place, straightened himself, and then cleared his throat.

"I suggest you people go as well. Time is a luxury that many people cannot afford!"

The remaining students, finally surrendering to the ridiculous fiasco they are in, simply shrugged and dragged themselves back to their homes. _Hmm… troublesome isn't it? XD_

Now let's stalk our favorite characters coz every single one of them is having an episode right now:

**Target no. 1: **_Uzumaki Naruto_ (Yup, he's the first one on the list, after all the series is named after him!)

He was strolling along what he called the '_Pathway to Paradise'_ (which is actually the route going to Ichiraku's ramen bar.), while thinking (yes, he is capable of doing it people!) of what Iruka-sensei had just said to them.

"Hn…" he grumbled. "What does that Sasuke got that I, Uzumaki Naruto, _the greatest_, _most handsome, and most talented_ (conceited little fellow, isn't he?) Hokage-to-be, haven't got? I'm obviously far more handsome (yeah, right.) than him… and I can't think of any more scenes where he's actually beaten me at something. (Dream on!) What could have Sakura-chan seen in him?"

Then something horrible (for him) registered in his mind.

"GAAHHH!" he yelled. "Sakura-chan! What if she becomes a genie? That Sasuke-bastard will take advantage of that situation! With all of his money, he could easily win that auction, that sneaky weasel! Or what if he hypnotizes her in being the highest bidder and brainwash her into falling in-love with him! GAAHHH! What if…?"

_Inside his imagination…_

(Note: For creative purposes, please imagine that this particular scene is showed in a picture story style. (You know, those ones with the chibi, color-out-of-the-lines drawings that as if a three-year-old made it. XD)

"_Sasuke-kun!" Sakura ran to him with her beautiful pink hair swaying in the morning breeze. "I missed you! Did you miss me too? I am just so glad that you became my genie! Are you ready for our date?" _

_Sasuke stood near the bridge and waved at Sakura. "Hai, my beautiful princess! I have missed you so much that I have not slept a moment last night because I was thinking of you! I love you like ramen and I would do everything to please you! Marry me, o my beautiful blossom!" He proposed as he showered Sakura with a bunch of gifts and finally kneeling and presenting a diamond ring bigger than Sakura's own fist. Literally._

"_Oh Sasuke-kun! I love you too and yes, I will marry you!"_

"_Ah! I am the happiest man in all of the Fire country! Come, love! Let us elope and together we will restore my clan!"_

_If you think that was bad, take a look at what happened next…_

"_Wait!" said an ANBU wearing a cat mask. "Are you Uchiha Sasuke? The Uchiha prodigy? The number one rookie, who has ever lived in the whole history of forever?" (hehehe. Quite a vocabulary you have there, Naruto. XD)_

"_Yes, I am he. What do you want?"_

"_Well, sir. Our Hokage-sama, Tsunade, as the old grandma that she is, has thought over that you are the most handsome, most talented, hottest, coolest and most importantly, richest Hokage candidate in the entire village. And it is my duty to announce, that you sir are better than Uzumaki Naruto in all aspects and the Hokage acknowledges it. In fact, she has written an impromptu resignation letter that says that she quits being the Hokage and she chooses you, sir, as the replacement Hokage. So…" the ANBU stated as he kneeled. "**YOU**, Uchiha Sasuke who is not Uzumaki Naruto, are now the Hokage of this village! We are at your mercy! O, Hokage-sama, who is better than Uzumaki Naruto! And as a gift to you, courtesy of the very thankful villagers of Konoha, we are giving you an all access pass to Ichiraku Ramen Bar 24/7 and the owner himself has guaranteed free ramen for the rest of your life!"_

"_HA!" Sasuke laughed. "Take that Naruto! Who's the man, now?"_

_Sakura swooned. "Oh, Sasuke-kun! Your sooo great!"_

"_Kiss me, my love!"_

"_Oh, Sasuke!"_

"NOOOOOOO!" Naruto screamed so loud, that everyone near him had to cover their ears. (We're out of his imagination, by the way.) "I won't let that happen! Curse you, Sasuke! CURSE YOU!"

When he cooled off, he thought of a plan to get Sakura. "Where the hell am I gonna get money! Kuso!"

As he cursed, he heard a stifled laughter in a distance and saw Jiraiya peeping through a bathhouse. At the sight of him, Naruto got an idea. He slowly breathed and then…

"ERO-SENNIN!" he shouted so that the girls inside the bathhouse can hear. "WHATCHA DOIN' PEEPIN' ON THOSE GORGEOUS BABES, HUH? YOU KNOW THAT'S INDECENT, YOU HENTAI!"

Jiraiya quickly covered Naruto's mouth and jumped into the cliff next to the bathhouse, before they were attacked by a mob of angry girls.

"Baka! What was that for?"

"Ero-sennin! I need money. Could you lend me some coz' I'm broke."

Jiraiya punched him in the head. "You interrupted me in collecting data just to ask for money? Fat chance!"

"Come on! PLEASE?"

"NO WAY!"

Naruto was about to give up, when he thought of a solution.

"Since you won't give willingly, I will force it out from you!"

Before Jiraiya could say anything, Naruto already was making seals and shouted, "Sexy No Jutsu!" and again he saw the cute girl version of Naruto. He flushed in happiness.

"Please, Ero-sennin, I mean, _Jiraiya-sama_." The girl Naruto cooed. "May I have just a little bit of money? Onegai?" Her lower lip trembled.

Hehe. Of course, Jiraiya was smitten at the fox-girl. What did you expect?

"You got me there kid." He sighed as he pulled his wallet out of his pocket and waved it in front of Naruto. "You want my wallet?" Naruto nodded vigorously.

"Then, you got it… on one condition…"

Naru-girl gulped. He, uh, _she_ hoped the condition wasn't that bad…

"One _kiss_."

She did an anime drop. "NANI! No way man! I ain't gonna kiss a geezer like you! Plus, you owe me!"

_Wrong move._

Jiraiya smirked. "I do not. And also, unless you kiss me you won't be able to get any money out of me, girlie. Got it?"

Naruto was dumbfounded. Jiraiya is resisting to the powers of Sexy No Jutsu? Is this for real? Before he could answer his own questions (which I doubt that he will be able to.) , he transformed back to his original form, quickly snatched the sannin's wallet and made a run for it.

"I'll take this as payment for the money you owed me, you stingy geezer! Ja!" He shouted with glee as he winded through the streets hoping to lose Jiraiya in case he was following him.

"Hehe. With this money, that Sasuke-teme won't get Sakura! Yosh!"

He was about to punch the air in victory when he collided with somebody causing both of them to fall back. "A… Ittai! Are? Shoot! Where's the geezer's money?... Yokata. It's safe." He sighed as he stood up hastily ready to leave when a voice suddenly spoke up.

"Mou, baka! What the heck is wrong with you? You already bumped into me and then you aren't gonna help me up?"

"Eh!"

"Down here, baka!"

She was a rather pretty girl, wearing a mesh tank top and a small jacket. (Think Shika's get up with the chest area covered.) One leg of her pants reached midway of her thigh while the other, way past below the knee. Her hair was pulled back into a side ponytail and her appealing face was placed between a frown and a pout.

"Well?"

"Oh, right." He offered her his hand which she gladly took.

"Whew. Glad that over. You―" she stopped and frantically looked around her. "Shimatta! Where is it!"

"Ne, ojo-san. What are you looking for?"

"Shut up! I'm looking for…" she abruptly stopped and kneeled at something in the ground. "My― my lunch!" She went chibi and cried. "It's ruined! Waah!"

"Hey, why are you cryin'?"

"…the sushi! All spoiled! Ne-chan's famous beef teriyaki plus udon! And… a bowl of Ichiraku's special ramen! All gone! Waah!" she whimpered at a ruined pile of food with tons of rice.

The blond boy's ears perked up at the sound of the word ramen. "What did you say? Special ramen? Where?"

The girl's mourning turned had passed and she turned her frustration with Naruto instead.

"Yes, you baka! I said ramen! A bowl of delicious and steaming Ichiraku special ramen! But thanks to you, it's gone! All gone!"

Naruto was taken aback. "A bowl of ramen spilled? By me? Never would I spill a bowl of glorious ramen! Over my dead body, I won't!"

"But you DID spill my ramen!" she said pointing to the broken bowl.

"What? A bowl spilled! I feel your loss too ojo-san! Don't worry! I shall replace it!"

"Hontoni?"

"Later."

She did an anime drop. "What? I want it replaced now!"

"Iie. Later. After I win Sakura-chan at the bidding!"

"You're in that genie-nonsense too?"

"Yup! And Sakura-chan's gonna be my genie! Ja!"

"Matte! Where are you going? You replace my ramen first! C'mon, Ichiraku's on that corner over there! Let's go!" She exclaimed as she grabbed him by the collar and dragged him towards the infamous ramen bar.

"Konnichiwa!"

"Ohayou, Ayame-chan!" The girl greeted while forcing a yellow and orange blob in a chair beside her. "One bowl of miso ramen, please. And he's paying." She pointed to the blob beside her.

"Eh?" Ayame peered closely at the yellow and orange thing beside the girl. "Natsumi-chan, is that Naruto-kun?"

"Oh, you know him?"

"Yes, he's one of our most frequent costumers here besides you."

"Oh, really?"

"Ohayou gozaimasu!"

"Ohayou, Jiro-san!"

Jiro-san, a middle aged man, was the cook at Ichiraku and was one of Naruto and Natsumi's favorite people.

"Natsumi! I thought you already ordered a bowl for take out five minutes ago? And… is that Naruto?"

"Er… yeah. Ayame said so. Anyway, two bowls of miso ramen, please."

The orange and yellow blob sprang to life. "Eh? Two bowls? I thought I was going to pay for only one!"

"Baka! The other one's for you."

"Ohh… Really? Ok… Konnichiwa, Ayame-chan. Jiro-san." Finally noticing the cook and waitress.

Both sweatdropped. "Uhm… Ohayou, Naruto-kun."

The 'conversation' was cut short when two steaming hot bowls of miso ramen was placed in front of them.

"Well, here you go! Two bowls of delicious miso ramen. Enjoy!"

At this, both Naruto and Natsumi had gotten their chopsticks, said a quick prayer and a rather enthusiastic 'Ittadakimasu!' in unison. As they proceeded in eating the two continued their conversation (Between mouthfuls that is.).

"We haven't formally introduced ourselves yet, you know."

"Right. I'm Uzumaki Naruto! The future Hokage of Konoha! I like ramen, Sakura-chan and I'm way cooler than Sasuke-teme!... And you are?"

She rolled her eyes. "The name's Yuuhi Natsumi… So, you're that Naruto they're talkin' about, neh? They were right."

Naruto nearly choked . "What do you mean 'they'? Are they my fans? Probably praising me for my genius, neh?" He laughed out loud.

"No. They are definitely not your fans. I was talking about Kurenai-neechan, Kakashi-sensei and Asuma-sensei. And you're obviously anything but a genius."

"What did you say? Did you just insult me? You wanna fight, huh? Oh sorry, I forgot. I don't fight _girls._" He mocked at her.

"What do you mean, 'I'm a girl'? Just because I am doesn't mean I can't kick your ass!" She stood up.

Naruto stood up as well. "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Prove it!"

"Fine by me, dobe!"

"Why you!"

As they were both about to explode in fury, they both heard chuckles and giggles in front of them. They looked and saw Jiro and Ayame trying to contain their laughter.

"And what is so funny?" Naruto and Natsumi cried in unison.

Ayame giggled. "It's because you two look absolutely ADORABLE together. Are you sure you're not out on a date?"

"WHAT! He/She is not my boy/girlfriend!"

"Now, now you two." Jiro teased. "Boyfriends and girlfriends don't treat each other that way."

Both adolescents turned a cute shade of pink which caused the two adults laugh even more.

"Now, we were only kidding you know."

While the tinge of pink in their cheeks didn't fade away, both returned to their seats, their anger completely forgotten.

"Anou… I think you should pay for the ramen already, Naruto."

"I don't want to." The blond suddenly replied.

She was taken aback. "Eh? But you said you'll pay!"

"That was before! Now, I don't."

After receiving an irritated glare from the equally stubborn girl, silence ensued between them and by the time Nartuto dared to look at his 'companion', she was holding a very familiar object.

"Hey! That's my wallet!" He searched his pockets. "How did you get that?"

"Forget that I'm also a ninja?" The girl replied with a smirk in her face. "Besides, be a man and keep your promise!" She took a few bills from his wallet, paid for their snack then promptly tossed the wallet back to it's owner. "Well, that's that. Thanks for the treat, dobe! Ja!" And before Naruto could retort something incoherent back, she was already gone.

"Hmph! That girl is so… weird." He glanced inside his wallet. "Wait, if I clearly remember, a bowl of ramen costs 250 yen; and I borrowed 5,000 yen from the old man. So that's two bowls equals 500 yen minus 5,000 yen is… is…" He thought deeply.

"4,500 yen?" Ayame supplied.

"Yeah, 4,500 yen… Gah! Then why is it that there's only 3,500 yen here?" Realization suddenly hit him like one of Sakura's power punches. "Why that little thief! That Sasuke must have hired her to prevent me from winning Sakura-chan!" He froze as images of Sasuke and Natsumi laughing evilly behind his back, floated through his mind. "Ojo-san! Give my money back, damn it!" He cried as he quickly ran outside to follow Natsumi.

What he didn't know is that the 1,000 yen that was supposed to be 'stolen' was actually there in the wallet, tucked neatly in the side, completely out of sight. Sigh.

Have a very Merry Christmas guys!

Reviewers are much appreciated. You guys rock! \m/

Peace out, y'all!


	6. The STBRSBF and His Partner in Crime

Standard disclaimers apply.

Chapter 5 The **STBRSBF **and his partner in crime

**Target no. 2: **_Uchiha Sasuke_

The brunette walked in endless circles in the middle of the sacred training ground thinking of what he has done to deserve such a punishment.

He was dead and he knew it. Now how could he possibly get out of _this_? Be a slave for a whole week! Preposterous! He, Uchiha Sasuke, had never EVER thought of something like this happen to him.

But it did.

Damn.

But wait…

How could he turn the situation into his advantage? Hmm… He doesn't want to end up with some lunatic a.k.a. one of his rabid fan girls that's for sure. But he doesn't want to end up with some buffoon either. What he needed was somebody he can trust that won't humiliate him in the agonizing week ahead of him.

Someone with no grudge, no obsession and no relation to him what so ever. But who?

A barely audible sneeze was heard behind him. The Uchiha turned around to see Hyuga Hinata passing through and most curiously, in Sasuke's opinion, didn't even notice the boy walking in circles and making a total fool of himself.

Speaking of total fool, he gaped at her for a few seconds as the wheels inside his brain processed the little information he knew about the shy kunoichi.

Someone with no grudge, no obsession and no relation to him what so ever. That's it! She's perfect!

Sasuke smirked and ran towards her retreating figure.

"Anou, let me get this straight, Sasuke-san. You want ME to pose as a bidder so you can't be auctioned off to some other person that you don't like?"

Sasuke nodded at the Hyuga heiress. He initially asked her if they could talk this over a snack but Hinata just blushed and murmured that it would not be a good idea for them to be seen together_. 'The bench by the park will be a better place to talk,_' she said.

"But wouldn't that be cheating?" she asked.

He furrowed his eyebrows. "Well, technically you'll be using my money and there's no rule that says about whose money you're gonna use. Plus, Iruka mentioned that the genie will get to choose from the top three bidders. So as long as you are in the top three, there will be no problem. Understand, Hyuga?"

Her lower lip trembled. "What… What if I don't want to?"

The Uchiha was taken aback. Was the girl actually turning down his proposition? He was willing to spend one week with her, it was practically a dream-come-true for some of the kunoichi in the village! "Excuse me?"

Hinata took a deep breath. "Well, Let us say that a person you're merely acquainted with, someone whom you've never talked to unless necessary, suddenly pulls you aside and asks you a favor such as the one you're asking me right now. Would you or would you not hesitate to agree?"

Sasuke thought for a moment. Resigning to her logical explanation, he sighed. "You're right. I'm sorry, Hyuga-san."

Now it was Hinata's turn to be taken aback. The Uchiha was apologizing? To her? It seems as thought the boy before her was not the famed Sasuke, 'the heartless bastard' as Naruto would like to call him. _'He must be really desperate to seek my help.'_ she thought then sighed.

"Fine. If it means that much to you Sasuke-san, I… I agree to your proposal."

He sighed in relief. "Thank you, Hyuga-san. You don't know how much this means to me."

"Anou, Sasuke-san?"

"Nani?"

"My name's Hinata."

He looked at her with a little hint of a smile in his face.

"So let's make it official?" she extended her right hand.

He took it and sealed the deal with a firm handshake. _'She's not half bad if she gives an effort. Nice skin, cute smile… Sasuke, get a grip!' _He mentally scolded himself. '_She's just doing you the rare favor of saving your ass from humiliation! Speaking of ass, she's got a cute one… Argh! Go away hentai thoughts!'_

Meanwhile, the shy Hyuga was facing the same mental battle._ 'Now that I think about it, Sasuke is kinda handsome. Mysterious eyes, nice cheekbones… Hinata, what are you thinking! You're just doing him the rare favor of saving his backside from possible rabid fan girls!... Come of it, it is a rather cute backside… No! I am not thinking about it!'_

Both blushed a tinge of pink and avoided each other's gaze. They were not thinking like their usual selves and both thought it was better if they parted ways to avoid more _unusual_ thoughts.

Sasuke cleared his throat in his most dignified manner. "I guess I'll see you later after I get the money?"

"Uh, h-hai."

"How does the school entrance sound?"

"It's fine, Sasuke-san."

"Well, then. I'll see you later, _Hinata-san_."

**Target no. 3:** _Hyuga Hinata_

'_What have I gotten myself into?'_ That was the constant thought plaguing the mind of Hyuga Hinata. '_I will be killed by a mob of angry girls in my sleep! I'll be lucky to be alive by the end of the week.'_ She sighed.

In her thorough concentration on the predicament before her, she hasn't noticed a rogue cart dangerously veering her way.

"Look out!"

She glanced up at the sound of the voice and back flipped just in time before the cart collided with her. She sighed and thought of what her cousin might say if he was there.

_Hinata-chan! Don't lose yourself in your thoughts like that! What if an enemy spotted you off guard like that? Let's thank Kami that you've got quick reflexes or it could be the end of you!_

She smiled. Neji was always like that with her and Hanabi. '_He's_ _just like an overbearingly annoying, overprotective big brother!_' Hanabi used to say. _'I swear, nee-chan, if it weren't for you, I would be insane by now!'_

"Hey, you okay there? That was some close call."

She looked up, mentally scolding herself for being lost in her thoughts again. She then found herself looking at tantalizing black orbs scanning her for possible injuries and blushed. "Uh, h-hai! I'm fine, thank you." She bowed.

Uchiha Itachi smirked and flicked his finger into her forehead.

"Next time, don't let your guard down, okay? Let's just thank that you've got quick reflexes or else."

She felt her face blush a deeper shade of pink. "Anou…"

He chuckled at her reaction. This girl is certainly interesting. "You're really cute. Did you know that? And being a kunoichi is definitely a plus." He huskily breathed into her ear. He mentally noted a faint yet intoxicating scent of vanilla in her skin.

His breath tickled her and she, if it was possible, blushed harder. '_This is awkward.'_ she thought.

He took a step backward and looked into her milky white orbs. "I presume that you are a Hyuga, correct?"

"H-hai! Hyuga Hinata."

"Hinata… Beautiful name. Uchiha Itachi at your disposal." He thrust his hand to her.

"Nice t-to meet you, Uchiha-san." '_How can I forget! The Uchihas have an older heir than Sasuke! No wonder he looks so familiar.'_ She shook his hand and was surprised that Itachi did not let go of her hand. On the contrary, and to her embarrassment, he did a curtsy and lightly brushed his lips against the back of her hand.

"The pleasure's all mine, _Hinata-hime_."

"…"

The heiress was taken aback. First Sasuke, now Itachi? The Uchiha heirs are certainly acting unusual today. What has she done to deserve this? (This Author, for one, also wants to know what Hinata has done. Why not me instead? Hahaha. Forgive the digression. I couldn't resist. 3 )

Speaking of which, Itachi straightened up and said, "As much as it pains me, hime, I must now cut short our conversation. No need to worry though, I have the slightest feeling that we will see much of each other this week." with a hint of gleam in his eye.

Hinata's pulse quickened, _'Does he know about his brother's plan?'_ she thought.

"Well, I'll see you, Hinata-hime."

"Uh, hai, Itachi-san. I'll see you soon, I s-suppose." She nervously waved at the retreating figure of the Uchiha and proceeded back to the Academy, not quite ready in meeting the other Uchiha.

'_This is going to be the most unusual week. Kami, help me.' _

Yeah, another chapter after the longest time! Remember that reviews are very much appreciated! Thanks guys!

Love and Peace!


	7. Everybody Else

Standard disclaimers apply.

…

Chapter 6 Everybody Else

…

**Target no. 4 & 5: **_Yamanaka Ino _(love her)_ and Haruno Sakura _(hate her)

(Biased? I know. grins wickedly)

Haruno Sakura was on higher ground than cloud nine. She, along with other girls, quickly left the building to retrieve money and daydream the events likely to happen when she finally had the precious Uchiha in her possession. Even it is for a week.

She swooned. When that week was over, she was more than sure that her _Sasuke-kuuun_ will only have eyes for her and only her.

Her blissful thoughts however, were cut short due to a mass of light blond locks standing a few yards away.

"Ino-pig." she muttered heatedly as she glared at her ex-best friend's back.

The said latter felt someone staring and turned around while raising a perfectly groomed eyebrow. "Forehead-girl." she greeted curtly.

A tense silence enveloped as the two kunoichi stared at each other. A strong gust blew and the onlookers watched with bated breath as they wait for the foreboding catfight to ensue.

A deep breath and then,

"**INO-PIG!"** the pink haired shouted, pointing a finger with matching vein popping in her forehead.

"**FOREHEAD-GIRL!"** the blond doing the same.

"**YOU ARE SO NOT GOING TO GET SASUKE-KUN!"**

"O really? And what makes you so sure, hmm? _Sakura-chaaaan?_" Ino mimicked Naruto.

A vein popped in amidst the vast pink. "Why you! You want a piece of me, pig?!"

"Yeah! I want a piece of your forehead so people wouldn't be blinded when they look at that massive canvas of yours! Hahaha!" She shrieked in laughter.

Sakura's annoyance was rapidly rising. "That's it!" She lunged at the laughing blond and both were now rolling on the dusty ground, wrestling and giving each other incoherent curses. Loud cheers erupted as the crowd thickened to watch the battle.

"Oi, I bet 500 yen that Yamanaka's gonna win this one." A handsome onlooker told his friend.

"No way man! Haruno's totally kicking her ass!"

"Well that's because she's such a tomboy. _My_ Ino's one of the best kunoichi around and she's still as beautiful and feminine as the lovely flowers she tends to." The fanboy's eyes shone with adoration. His friend was outraged.

"How dare you call _my_ Sakura a tomboy, you bastard!"

"You want one, jerk?!"

And so the riot between the fanboys began. Ninjas all over Konoha tried in vain to settle the crowd but it was pointless. Behind the insanity, a nonchalant Shikamaru and a forever-eating Chouji passed by. They both shook their heads.

"Women are so troublesome."

…

**Target no. 6, 7 & 8:** Rock Lee, Ten-ten (just what is her surname?!), Hyuga Neji

"Yosh!" A rather enthusiastic Rock Lee raised his fist in the air. "Finally, a chance to help someone and spread the way of the true Konoha shinobi! If only Gai-sensei could see me now, he would be so proud!" He wept in complete joy. Ten-ten, however, seemed unconvinced.

"Lee, doesn't it bother you that Iruka-sensei never mentioned any incentive or point in all of this?" she asked. But her teammate was too busy seeing stars and daydreaming to pay her any attention. A large vein popped in her forehead.

"Hey! Are you even listening to me?!"

A very adorable and chibified Lee turned his head to her. "No."

She shook in great annoyance. "What?!"

And before he could defend himself, Ten-ten had already sent him flying across town. After a few moments, Rock Lee landed in front of Hinata's teammates, Kiba and Shino. They peered at his unconscious form.

"I'm wildly guessing that this is Ten-ten's doing." Shino remarked.

Kiba nodded. "Yeah. It probably is her time of the month."

"So what are we gonna do to him?"

"I dunno."

Back at the other side of town, Ten-ten turned to her other companion, Hyuga Neji and fumed.

"You agree with me don't you?! Well?! What do you have to say for yourself, huh?!"

The usually calm bishounen sweatdropped. Was he the only sane person left on the planet? But not wanting to suffer Lee's fate, he tried to calm the kunoichi.

"Relax, Ten-ten. I admit it seems quite point less but it was Tsunade-sama's orders so we musn't complain about it."

"Hmph! All I know is there should be some reward or prize for putting up with all this insanity! Gah! It's so irritating!" she exclaimed as she marched off leaving Neji behind.

Never did they notice that somebody was watching them from behind the shadows.

…

Two cloaked figures emerged and leaned close together, whispering. The one with the pink cloak was frantically taking down notes.

"Did you get what she said?" A male voice came from under the blue cloak.

"Hai, check!"

The figure nodded. "Good. This ought to be a decent report. Let's go!"

"Roger!"

Quickly as they vanished, the pink and blue cloaked figures reappeared in front of the door of Tsunade's office. Just as they were about to knock, the door opened revealing an exhausted Iruka. Upon seeing who was outside, the shinobi jumped back.

"Gaah!" he shrieked while clutching his chest. Annoyed about the commotion in her office, the Godaime slapped her hand on the table. "Can you cut it down? I'm trying to think here!"

The three became silent and Tsunade sat back down.

"I guess you have something to report?" she asked the cloaked strangers.

The two lowered their hoods. Hatake Kakashi and Tsunade's assistant, Shizune stood in front of the desk.

"Hai, Tsunade-sama."

The female Hokage drummed her fingers, disinterested. "Well, what did you find out?"

Her assistant looked apprehensive. "Anou…"

"They want something in return." Kakashi said frankly.

She raised a quizzical eyebrow. "What?"

The infamous copy ninja shrugged. "They wanted some sort of incentive for, and I quote: 'putting up with this insanity' unquote."

"Really?" Tsunade smirked. "Now that you think about it… I guess I should cut them some slack."

Meanwhile, Iruka finally regained his composure. He cleared his throat.

"Anyway, we should probably go back to the Academy, Tsunade-sama. The kids are probably there already." he said as he stood to leave.

Tsunade followed suit. "Yes, we probably shoud go. Are Kurenai and Anko there with the costumes?"

"Hai, Hokage-sama." Iruka sighed. _'This is much more tiring than a survival mission.' _he thought.

The female Hokage smiled happily. "Good, good." And you two," she looked towards Shizune and Kakashi, who both stood more erect. "Keep those reports coming, eh?"

The cloaked ninjas did a mock salute. "Hai!"

Tsunade walked out of her office with extremely high spirits. Even more so when she entered the 'dressing room' and saw Kurenai and Anko arranging the colorful yet revealing garments. She approached them with a big grin on her face.

"Hello, ladies! Are you ready?"

…

He felt as if he was walking towards his own grave. As the Academy building loomed closer and closer, he took a deep breath and exuded his most calm and collected expression, a stark contrast of what he was actually feeling. He searched the area for any sign of the Hyuga heiress but instead, he caught the attention of someone else.

And for once, Uchiha Sasuke had wished that he had caught the attention of a mob of his rabid fan girls instead.

But fate was cruel. Of all the people right now, he just had to come in contact with Iruka-sensei. The latter, however, was oblivious to the young brunette's subtle death glare.

"Sasuke! There you are. Are you ready?"

_The hell I am, you prick._ "You can say that sensei."

"That's good to hear. But I suggest that you go inside and get dressed. You guys are to use the room next to the function hall, where the auction will take place. "

_I should probably kick your balls right now, Iruka._ "Maybe a bit later, sir. I'm still waiting for Hin—somebody."

The elder jounin chuckled. "Come on now, no need to be nervous. It's only for one week. If you want, I'll take you to the dressing room." he placed a firm hand on the young shinobi's shoulder, half-steering him towards the Academy.

At this, Sasuke started to panic inside. Saying no to the jounin would arouse suspicion and he would have to mention Hinata thus leading to the plan's failure. Coming with him would also be a bad idea because he wouldn't be able to give his money to the Hyuga and won't have the chance to do it later. It was one of those priceless lose-lose situations. He prayed so hard that Hinata will appear from behind the gates and save him again from certain doom.

As luck would have it, Hinata actually appeared from behind the gates. She was surprised when she fixed her eyes on the Academy and saw Iruka dragging Sasuke inside. The Uchiha directed an expression that only screamed one thing:

'_HELP ME, DAMNIT!'_

The female Hyuga quickened her pace. Sasuke hasn't given her the money yet. Not that she was some charity case or something but whatever.

The young Uchiha was now nearing hysteria. He grabbed his wallet from his pocket and did the only logical way to give it to Hinata.

Uchiha Sasuke threw his wallet at her.

But he threw it at such a force that it caught her off guard and…

Hit the poor girl straight on her forehead, making her an impromptu version of Sleeping Beauty.

…

They stopped in front of the door labeled 'dressing room'. Iruka took a deep breath and knocked three times. After a few seconds, the jounin Anko answered the door.

"Hai? What do you want?" she asked.

Iruka stepped aside to show a reluctant Sasuke. Anko's face brightened.

"Oho! Wait, don't tell me, don't tell me! He's the first genie, right?"

When she saw Iruka nod and smile, she clasped her hands together.

"That's great! This auction will be more interesting than I thought."

She then grabbed Sasuke by the shoulder and pulled him inside. "We'll be taking care of him for a while. Ja!" With that, she slammed the door shut.

…

"Hinata-chan?"

"Oi, Hinata-chan, wake up!"

"Arf!"

Hinata felt something lick the back of her hand. She opened her eyes and saw Shino, Kiba and Akamaru kneeling beside her. She sat up.

"What happened?" she asked.

"You tell us, we just found you there on the ground." Kiba shrugged. "By the way," he added, pulling out a familiar object. "Is this yours?"

Hinata immediately recognized it as Sasuke's wallet. She blushed as she realized how ridiculous she must have looked a few moments ago. Her teammates looked at her curiously. She snapped from her daze and nodded.

"Uh, hai, Kiba-kun. It's mine. Arigatou."

Kiba gave her a wolfish grin and handed her '_her_' wallet. "Good thing we found it eh, Shino? Some creep might have stolen it."

The bespectacled boy nodded the stood up. "We should get inside now, guys. Everybody's probably there already."

His teammates followed suit. "Yeah, better get this thing over with neh, Akamaru?"

"Arf!"

And together, Team 9 went inside the Academy building. As they neared the function hall, they noticed two figures hanging out the corridor. It was Shikamaru and Chouji. What piqued their interest, however, was that they were wearing some sort of armor and were now strapping helmets to their heads. Kiba shrieked with laughter.

"Just what the hell is that?"

The two looked at him seriously.

"It's a full body armor, you ignoramus." Shikamaru replied.

They dog boy gradually ceased in laughing and wiped the tears from his eyes.

"I know what it is." he retorted. "What I meant was, 'what's it for?'."

Without hesitation, the armored two replied in unison.

"RFG."

The members of Team 9 including Akamaru, all raised their eyebrows questioningly.

"R…FG?" they repeated. Chouji nodded.

"Hai. Rabid Fan Girls."

Seeing that their message was not clear, the lazy ninja sighed.

"Long story short. The Uchiha will be up for grabs and he'll be wearing a god-forsaken Arabian Nights costume."

"It's like giving a piece of steak to a den of deranged female lions." Chouji added.

"Precisely." Shikamaru nodded.

The three finally understood the crazy logic of it all. Kiba scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

"Uh, listen. I was just wondering…"

"Nope. We don't have any spare armor left."

"Really? Oh man…"

Shino glanced at Kiba. "Don't worry we can defend ourselves, just in case."

"Are? Daijoubu, Hinata-san? You don't look very well."

All eyes turned to the Hyuga. True enough, she looked paler due to the horrible realization as she listened to Shikamaru and Chouji's explanation.

A den of deranged female lions…

Suddenly, she had the strong urge of throwing Sasuke's wallet out of the window and pretending that she never had it. But as the images of him practically begging her to help, flooded her mind… As she lightly touched the swollen bump where his wallet had collided with her forehead… she sighed, defeated.

"Fine. I'll help him." she said.

The four blinked. "Help who, Hinata-chan?" Shino asked.

The shy kunoichi blushed from embarrassment. Was she thinking aloud again?

"Uh, no one, Shino-kun. Shall we now go on inside?" she asked, hoping that they'll drop the subject.

Chouji grinned and slammed his fist on his steel-covered chest as if to test its strength.

"Yosh! Let's go!"

…

Sasuke took the moment to observe the room. It was bare except for a couple of chairs and table where a bunch of various Arabian Nights costumes were neatly piled. What intrigued him most, however, was the large circle drawn at the center of the floor.

"So… The Uchiha, eh?"

Tsunade's voice rang across the room. He looked up and saw the Godaime standing a few feet away from him, the circle right between them. She took a step closer to him and he saw both Anko and Kurenai do the same. Soon, they were circling around him, observing him from head to foot. He gulped. Were they going to assault him? Is this some sick twisted joke? Or worse… Were they secretly members of his fan club out to pursue him? His fears worsened when all three then stood back just outside the circle and kneeled as if preparing to do some jutsu.

Kurenai sensed his tension.

"We're not gonna do anything bad Sasuke-san. Just stand in the center of that circle and relax."

"I think he'll look good in maroon." Tsunade remarked.

"I agree." Anko smirked. "Ready?"

"Ready."

"Okay, now!" Simultaneously, all three women drove their palms to the floor. Sasuke vanished behind a puff of smoke and when he reemerged, he was now wearing a different set of clothes. His blue shirt and white shorts were now gone and instead, he was clad in a maroon vest (with no undershirt or whatsoever) and matching maroon balloon pants. (I don't know exactly how to describe them but if you've seen the movie Aladdin, you'll understand. Work with me, people. I've just recently recovered from writer's block.)

The three seemed satisfied. "Well that's that." You may now go to the auction Uchiha." Tsunade said.

Anko giggled and slapped her hand at Sasuke's back. "The auction's in the next room. And to prevent you from escaping," she added "you are going to use this door." She led him to the door that connected both the function hall and 'dressing room'.

…

As the five adolescents entered the function hall, they were not surprised to see almost all females sat at the front row with the exception of Ten-Ten, Temari, and the girl whom Team 9 recognized as Kurenai's little sister. She waved at them from the back. As they sat beside her, she glanced over to Chouji and Shikamaru, eyeing their armor. She grinned.

"Rabid fan girl armor. Cool." She dug in her pockets, "I brought my own patented RFG repelling apparatus too, you know." She held out a thin leather bound object.

Kiba raised an amused eyebrow.

"Oh really? What is it, Natsumi-chan?"

"Gai-sensei's picture." She replied as she showed them the photo showing Gai in his full 'suave' glory (basically his 'Mr. Nice Guy Pose'). All of them noticeably winced and leaned away.

"I've got to say that it is certainly effective." Chouji remarked.

"Really? Thanks!" Natsumi giggled, making the chubby shinobi turn a tinge of pink.

As they were about to engage in another conversation, the room was then interrupted by a certain someone's arrival.

…

As Sasuke disappeared behind the door, Tsunade held out three fingers.

"Three… Two… One."

Multiple screams suddenly erupted from the next room. The Hokage looked at Kurenai and Anko then smirked.

"Told you, he'll look good in maroon."

…

Meanwhile, amidst the riot in the front part of the function hall, Iruka and the rest could only sweatdrop. But the jounin has to admit, Sasuke looked much better-looking than ever but… never mind. He sighed exasperatedly.

"And so the auction begins." he muttered.

…

End of Chapter 6

…

Yuri-chan's note: Ha! She finally updates this chapter after the longest time. Hehe. Sorry for taking so long you guys. I made this chapter extra long to make it up to you people.

You will review this chapter, right?


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Naruto, Humor, Romance