Avengers 1. Chapter 1: Where's Waldo

**I don't own the Avengers or any of the games in this story.**

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Chapter 1: Where's Waldo

The six Avenger sat down on the couch in the living room of Stark Tower, eyeing the image on the flat screen television with various degrees of curiosity.

"Awesome. We're all here. Tonight's game is _Where's Waldo,_" Tony said.

Thor frowned. "Who is this Waldo, and why must we search for him."

Tony rubbed his palms together enthusiastically. "Because his archnemisis, Odlaw, is after him. We have to find him first."

Thor jumped to his feet eagerly. "Ah! There is evil afoot! We must protect Sir Waldo!" He raised his arm to summon Mjolnir.

"Thor, NO!" Natasha, Tony, and Steve exclaimed. Thor had already broken countless structures in the tower (actually, Tony knew the exact number because he was the one who paid for the repairs) because, as Tony put it, he was a little "Hammer Happy."

"It's a game, Thor," Bruce sighed. "We look at pictures and try to find certain characters."

"Oh," the god replied. He sat down dejectedly.

"Remind me why I'm wasting my time with this," Natasha huffed.

Steve frowned at her. "Game night is a great opportunity for us to bond as a team."

"Also, you and Thor caused serious structural damage to the training room last week. So this is really your fault," Tony chipped in.

Natasha glared daggers at him. Tony shrunk back and quickly loaded the image onto the screen.

He tossed everyone a laser pointer and began. "It's simple. We're looking for Waldo-"

"-You still have not explained who this Waldo is," Thor grunted.

"He's a skinny dude in a striped shirt with glasses and a hat," Tony explained. "_And, _since some of us clearly don't want to be here," he tossed Natasha a scornful glance, "let's make things interesting. Whoever finds the characters the fastest overall gets out of kitchen duty for a week."

The other five Avengers grinned, their interest piqued. "You're on," Steve replied.

"Okay. Round one. Find Waldo….go!"

Tony and Bruce squinted and tried to pick Waldo out from the crowded picture. Steve tried to figure out how to use his laser pointer. Natasha watched with mild amusement as Thor smashed his own laser pointer against the table in frustration.

"Got him," Clint said, moving his pointer to Waldo.

"Already?" Bruce asked in surprise.

"Ahh, beginner's luck," Tony scoffed, shrugging.

"How do you work this thing?" Steve asked in confusion, tapping his laser pointer.

"Okay….Round two," Tony said, ignoring Steve and sliding to the next image. "Find Woof the dog. Go!"

"Ahhhhh!" Steve cried. The others turned to see that he had the laser pointed at his own eye.

Natasha reached across the couch and flipped the pointer around so it faced the wall instead while Thor and Tony laughed.

"Got him," Clint said smugly.

"Fine," Tony said, changing the picture on the screen. "Go!"

"Got him."

"_What_?" Tony screeched. "How is that possible? None of the pictures were up there for more than ten seconds!"

Natasha rolled her eyes tossed her laser pointer onto the coffee table. "You're playing against a master assassin, Stark. Finding people and picking them off quickly has literally been his life's work."

"Oh. Good point."

She stood up and stretched. "I'm going to go shoot something now."

"Call me when dinner's ready," Clint called over his shoulder, following her out.

"Hmmhh. That didn't go as planned," Tony sighed. He stood up and looked toward the kitchen. "So…do any of you guys know how to cook?"


	2. Chapter 2: Monopoly

**Thanks for all the reviews, favorites, and alerts on chapter one! Sorry for the wait - my muse died for a few days.**

**Unfortunately, I still don't own the Avengers or Monopoly. **

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Chapter 2: Monopoly

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Tony strode into the living room and raised the board game above his head proudly. "Game night two: Monopoly. Everybody pick your token."

Clint, Natasha, Bruce, and Steve groaned while Thor regarded Tony with his usual confused expression. "Ugh. Monopoly takes _forever_." Clint whined.

"Well, Katniss, the sooner we get started, the sooner you get to go back to doing your whole brooding in high places thing," Tony snapped back, scattering the tokens on the table. "Which, by the way, really isn't attractive. It's creepy, really. Though Tasha over here seems to like it."

Natasha picked up the cannon and glared at Tony. "I can kill you seven different ways with this."

"Okay then," Bruce said hastily. "Let's try and keep tonight murder free."

"Getting blood out of board games sucks," Clint nodded. "Do you really want to have to do that again, Tash?"

Everyone else swiveled to face them. "_Again_?"

Natasha shrugged. "I get a little competitive."

"Well," Tony sighed, quickly dropping her gaze. "Let's get started."

* * *

Twenty minutes later, Thor frowned as he read from his card. "Go directly to jail. Do not pass 'Go,' do not collect $200."

"Sorry, Blondie Bear."

Thor looked confused. "Why is there a jail? I thought this was meant to be a game."

"Jail is one of the spaces, Thor," Bruce explained. He moved Thor's token to the 'jail' spot. "You just have to stay there for a bit while the rest of us play."

"Yeah," Tony grinned. "Kind of like Loki, except without the whole snake-venom-dripping-into-his-orifices-for-all-of-eternity thing."

Everybody glared at him.

"Erm, right…that was awkward. Back to the game."

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Fifteen minutes later, Thor was still in jail, where he had been joined by Tony and Clint. Natasha and Steve were dominating the board, while Bruce had some modest holdings.

Tony groaned as he rolled the dice and failed to get out a jail yet again.

"You know, you're really bad at this game for a billionaire," Clint said.

"Shut up."

Natasha rolled and landed on one of Tony's few properties.

"Ah ha! My luck is looking up! Rent!"

"No."

Tony raised an eyebrow. "No? That's not how the game works, Princess."

"_Princess?_"

Two seconds later, Natasha was holding Tony down by his throat, demonstrating the third way to kill someone with a monopoly piece. Clint and Thor quickly lost interest in the game in favor of watching the murder scene unfolding before them.

"Okay. I think we're done for the night," Bruce proclaimed, packing up the board.

"Yep. Sounds about right," Steve said. He sighed, trying to make his most important decision of the night – whether he should pull Natasha off Tony or help her strangle him.


	3. Chapter 3: Twister

**Again, thanks for all the reviews.**

**Note - the actual positions mentioned in this chapter are just a way of moving the plot along. They are not necessarily physically possible. (But, then again, none of us are Avengers, so how would we know?)**

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Chapter 3: Twister

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"Okay, this game is pretty simple, so the dumb blondes shouldn't have much trouble tonight," Tony said, ignoring the glares Steve and Thor sent him. "All you have to do is follow the instructions the spinner gives you - just don't let your elbows or knees touch the ground."

Bruce sighed. "I'm going to sit this one out. I'm too old for this game."

"True," Tony said. "You can read the instructions while the rest of us play."

Bruce raised an eyebrow. "You're not exactly young either, Tony."

Tony glared at him. "Are you trying to insinuate that I'm old? I'll have you know that I'm extremely flexible. Just ask Pepper about some of the things that I can do in bed. Believe me-"

"-We believe you, Tony," Bruce hastily cut Tony off. "But five of you can't fit on the mat at the same time."

"Okay," Tony pouted.

Clint, Steve, Natasha, and Thor surrounded the mat.

"Okay. Thor, left foot green," Bruce read.

Thor grinned and stepped onto the mat. "This will be easy."

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The mat got crowded quickly. Thor's brute strength didn't translate well into flexibility and he was so tall and muscular that he was taking up more than his fair share of available space. Natasha was the polar opposite. No matter what instruction given, she somehow managed to contort her body successfully.

"Thor – left hand green."

Thor grunted and complied with the instructions. Sweating in exertion, he leaned too far forward and his legs gave out.

"Oww! Dammit, Thor!" Clint groaned as Thor collapsed on top of him.

"Sorry, friend archer," Thor mumbled, extricating himself from the mat with ungracefully.

"Get off the mat, Clint. You're taking up space," Nathasha ordered. Her back was twisted to support her her arms, which were facing her toes.

Clint pressed a hand against what felt like bruised ribs. "Good God. Is this what it feels like when a building collapses on you?"

"If you don't get off the mat right now you'll find out," Natasha growled, twisting even further.

Clint quickly forgot about his injuries and scrambled off the mat.

"Steve – Right hand, green."

Steve reached over Natasha's left arm and set his hand down.

"Natasha – Left foot, red."

Natasha somehow extended her leg and grinned triumphantly.

"Steve – Left foot, red."

Steve placed his left foot on the spot below Natasha's foot.

"Okay, now – hey stop it," Bruce snapped.

Steve's head popped up. Tony was pointing at the mat, giggling and making hand gestures that Steve didn't understand. Clint looked murderous.

Steve shifted his gaze back to the game and realized what they were laughing at. His pelvis was positioned above Natasha's bottom, and his arm was grazing her breast. It must look like-

"Hey, big boy," Natasha whispered in his ear, twisting her body even further so they were flush against each other.

"Okay, I'm done. She wins," Steve exclaimed quickly, scrambling away from the game and the contorted assassin.

"Good for you," Clint growled, his fingers twitching dangerously close to his hidden knife.

Natasha untwisted her body and flipped her hair. "Tony, stop staring at my ass."

"In all honesty, I don't think that I can," Tony murmured, unable to take his eyes off her.

"I think Clint might help you with that," Bruce said, nodding in the male assassin's direction. "Well, I'm going to go to bed. You know, plausible deniability and all that jazz. See you all – or whoever makes it out alive - tomorrow."

"I had a most splendid time," Thor said happily. "When do we play again?"

"Never," Steve and Clint replied in unison.

Clint pulled out his knife and motioned to Tony and Steve. "Come with me. We need to have a little talk…"


	4. Chapter 4: Poker

In which the Avengers never actually get around to playing poker.

Warning: Mild language in this one.

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Chapter 4: Poker

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"Tonight, we play poker! I'll deal," Tony said, whipping out a deck of cards.

"Um, Tony, I seriously doubt that any of us have the amount of money that you're used to playing for," Bruce pointed out kindly.

Clint grinned wickedly from across the table. "We don't need money to play poker. There are so many other things to wager."

"That's what I love about Merida here. Always thinking outside the box," Tony grinned back, ignoring Clint's glare. "Strip poker it is."

"So…we have to get naked?" Steve asked. His face flushed at the thought.

"Only if you're bad at poker," Tony pointed out. He eyed Natasha lecherously. "I hope that some of us are really, _really_ bad at poker."

"We'll see," Natasha said cryptically, poker face already in play.

"Guys, this seems like a bad idea," Steve protested. "It's inappropriate."

"I must agree with the good Captain. Though it sounds entertaining, I must uphold my duty as future king of Asgard and Ambassador to Midgard," Thor boomed.

Tony raised an eyebrow. "Were you specifically told not to get naked with a group of friends playing poker?"

Thor frowned. "Well, no…"

"And what about you, Captain Spandex? What's your problem with strip poker?"

Steve remained steadfast. "It's a moral thing. Besides, there are plenty of ways to bond as a team with our clothes on."

"Not as good as this one," Clint said.

Bruce shrugged. "I'm always naked when I de-hulk. And we all saw Tony dancing nude after his tequila night."

"C'mon, Rogers. What's the worst that could happen?" Tony urged, ignoring the last part of Bruce's comment.

"Well…what about Natasha?"

"What about her?"

"You can't ask her to strip in front of all of us!"

"That's funny, because Fury definitely makes me do that all time," Natasha snorted.

The blood drained from Steve and Tony's faces.

"On missions, you idiot," she clarified, rolling her eyes.

Clint nodded. "You have no idea how many men get to see her mostly naked before she kills them."

"Lucky bastards," Tony muttered.

"You realize that I do kill them, don't you?" Natasha asked, glaring at Tony. "Besides, it's not _that_ many men."

Tony shrugged. "Sounds like a good way to die."

"True that," Clint seconded.

"Can we get back to the poker playing part of this evening?" Bruce asked, trying to steer the group back to the game and keep Natasha from murdering someone.

"Not until Captain Chastity tells us what his issue is," Tony countered.

"I already did!"

"Steve, can I talk to you in the hall for a minute?" Natasha asked. Instead of waiting for him to answer, she tugged him out of his seat and forced him to follow. She turned and called over her shoulder, "Tony, you can start dealing."

"Finally," Bruce muttered.

Tony was halfway through the deck when a shriek erupted from the hall. Natasha emerged half-dragging Steve, who quickly tore himself away from her grip and took off toward the elevator.

"Um, what just happened?" Bruce questioned timidly. He wasn't sure that he wanted to know the answer.

Natasha shrugged. "I thought the best way for him to conquer his nudity fear was to get it over in one go, like jumping into a pool."

"And that made you squeal?" Thor asked.

"No, that noise was Steve. I may have flashed him…for a good fifteen seconds. And then he fainted."

"Ohh…" Tony, Clint, and Bruce said together.

Natasha took her place at the table sighed. "I know, right? I've never had anyone react like _that_ before. It's kind of insulting, really."

"What is the meaning of this 'flashing?'" Thor questioned.

"It means that she surprised him with a difficult fighting technique," Clint lied smoothly. There were some things that Thor definitely didn't need to know.

"I would be honored for the privilege, Romanoff. Honestly," Tony said earnestly, ignoring Clint.

"I know," Natasha replied, flipping her hair. She stood up and stretched. "But it's never going to happen, Stark. Anyway, it looks like we're not getting around to poker tonight. One of you should probably go comfort Steve in case he's still crying. I'm going to bed."

Bruce sighed, heading for Steve's room. He had been looking forward to poker night. Instead he had to explain to Steve why he should be celebrating instead of crying. "Lucky bastard," he muttered.


	5. Chapter 5: High Striker

**A/N: Bruce takes a lot of abuse on game night, so I thought it was time for him to have some fun. Also, High Strikers are the strength testing games at carnivals and amusement parks. **

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Chapter 5: High Striker

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"Look what Katniss and I found!" Tony cried excitedly, practically skipping into the kitchen.

Bruce looked up at him wearily. "What?"

"A high striker!" Tony beamed, gesturing to the carnival game Clint was lugging into the room. Glaring at Tony for making him carry the device on his own, Clint dropped it unceremoniously on Tony's foot.

"Oww. Don't ruin the moment."

Steve frowned. "Do I even want to know where you found that?"

Clint shrugged. "In a dumpster at Coney Island. We figured they tossed it 'cause it's kinda outdated, but it still works fine."

Natasha glared at him and Tony. "And why were you two idiots digging through dumpsters miles from the tower in the first place?"

"That, my dear spider, is a story for another time," Tony cut in, ignoring Natasha's murderous glare. "But now, we play!"

Steve sighed. "I hate those things. Everybody used to laugh because I could never get it halfway up."

"That's what she said!" Tony exclaimed gleefully. Seeing Steve's sad and confused face, he continued, "I'll explain that one to you later. Besides, that was before you had super soldier serum pumped through your veins. Give it a go, Cap."

"Okay," Steve replied dubiously, gingerly taking the fake hammer Tony handed him. He approached the machine slowly as though it was going to publicly shame him again.

"Really go for it, Sparkles," Tony encouraged. "Don't just tap it. Pound it home."

"That's what she said," Clint snickered from his spot at the table.

"Would you two just shut up!" Steve cried. "Stop making jokes that you know I don't understand and stop calling me names, Tony!" He swung the hammer down on the base and watched in amazement as the puck flew past the halfway mark and soared to the very top, ringing the bell. He took a step back and dropped the hammer in shock. "I did it."

"See, Captain Spandex? I knew you had it in you," Tony smiled, clapping the taller man on the back. "Now let the rest of us have a shot."

Clint, Bruce, and Thor jumped up from their seats and lined up behind Tony eagerly. Natasha rolled her eyes and she watched the men act like boys. "There's way too much testosterone in this room."

"Scared you're going to embarrass yourself?" Tony challenged. "Or are you worried that your Hawk isn't strong enough to win you a stuffed bunny?"

She glared back at him. "Scared, no. Vaguely concerned about what's about to happen, yes. You should probably duck now."

"What?"

Natasha nodded toward the high striker, which Thor was approaching with Mjolnir. She quickly crawled under the table.

"Crap," Tony breathed. "Thor, don't do it."

Clint grimaced, grabbing Tony's collar and forcing him to the floor just before Thor swung. "I think it's too late for that."

The other Avengers watched in horrified amazement as the puck struck the bell. Instead of ringing, the bell, now cleaved into two pieces, fell to the ground as the puck flew off the tower and hurtled toward Bruce's head.

"Crap," Tony repeated, looking up. The Hulk glowered in front of him. "Crap, crap, crap, crap."

"Hulk want to smash," Hulk cried, shoving Thor away from the semi-functional machine and raising his fists. "Smash!"

Steve barely rolled out of the way before the Hulk pulverized the machine, creating a hole in the floor in the process.

Natasha shook her head and emerged from the table. "Like I said, _way_ too much testosterone."

As the other Avengers watched Thor help the Hulk destroy the high striker and the kitchen, they had to agree.


	6. Chapter 6: Risk

**So, this one kind of got away from me. Anyway, this chapter is for Sinkme, who prompted me to finally finish my Risk chapter. Go check out some of his Avengers fics - they're intense and well-written.**

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Chapter 6: Risk

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"Oh, crap," Tony breathed.

The Avengers were forty five minutes into a of _Risk_. Since it was a war strategy game, Thor and Steve were not only interested in it, but also grasped the rules quickly.

However, grasping wasn't the same thing as winning. Most of the board was covered in Natasha's army. She had systematically eliminated all but Tony's army with a sadistic glee.

"C'mon, man," Clint urged. "You can't let her win this easy."

The other three men crowded behind Clint and Tony. Natasha eyed them from across the board, smirking. It was Tony's turn, and any move he made would end in certain destruction.

Tony tapped a finger against the table nervously. "So, how does it feel to conquer more of the world than the Soviet Union ever did?"

Natasha smiled. "Almost as good as it will feel when Russia completely takes over the world. Stop stalling."

"I'm not stalling, Stalin. I just need some time to think."

"You have thirty seconds until I call forfeit."

Tony searched the board in desperation. "I…I give up."

"Ha! I win!"

Clint and Steve groaned while Thor grinned widely. "Your strategic assaults are worthy of those of Asgardian warriors, Widow," the demigod said.

"Thank you," Natasha smiled, standing up. "Since I rule the world, I get to give Tony orders. Have fun doing my laundry tomorrow."

"That's just unpatriotic, Stark," Steve said angrily. "Americans don't give up when times get tough. What are you going to do now that Natasha rules the world?"

Clint shrugged. "It's really not that bad once you get used to it. You just have to be careful not to piss her off. For your own sake, just do everything that she tells you."

"Really?" Tony shot back. "How's that been working out for you, Robin Hood?"

Natasha leaned over and kissed Clint on the cheek. "Pretty well, I'd say. Much better than how it'll work out for you." She took the archer's hand and led him out of the room.

"Wait," Tony said pensively. His frown broke and turned into a smile. "Does this mean I get to see Natasha's underwear?"

"What?"

Tony shrugged. "Since she ordered me to do her laundry. She's practically inviting me to look."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're a pervert?" Steve said, crossing his arms.

"You wouldn't be the first. And I'm not a perv since she gave me permission. If anything, it's a little pervy on her part."

"What is a 'pervert?'" Thor interrupted loudly. Shaking his head, Steve grabbed the god by the elbow and took him away to explain.

Bruce shook his head, ignoring Thor. "'Do my laundry' does not translate to 'look at my underwear.' Besides, it's probably just gym clothes and her S.H.I.E.L.D. uniform."

"Awesome. I've always wanted to know what she wears under that cat suit," Tony replied, waggling his eyebrows.

"You're incorrigible. And a pervert."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Like I said, that's nothing I haven't heard before. Besides, you'll be plenty jealous tomorrow when I get to find out what her bra size is. Do you think she's a lace girl?"

"I think I'd rather not die by having a token from Risk forced through my jugular," Bruce shot back.

"Party pooper. Whatever. I'll let you know tomorrow anyway."

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The next day in the lab, Bruce was still trying to figure out why the men had lost the game so badly when he was interrupted by Tony. The disheveled billionaire lowered himself onto a stool and sighed. "Well that was interesting."

Bruce set down his work and raised an eyebrow. "What happened to you?"

"Well, Natasha said she left her laundry by the machine for me," Tony began, tilting his head back, "but then I realized that I don't know how to do laundry. I don't even know where the laundry room is. So then -"

"Wait, really," Bruce exclaimed, interrupting Tony. "You're in your forties and you don't know how to do laundry? And how do you not know where your own laundry machine is?"

Tony shrugged. "I've never had a reason to do laundry before. That's more of a Pepper thing. I've told her that I'd rather go around naked, I'd probably even prefer it, but she just keeps insisting that I wear clean clothes in public."

Bruce rolled his eyes. Poor Pepper. "Okay, I get it, you're a lazy pervert Now back to the story."

"Right. Well, I didn't know where the laundry room was, so I couldn't exactly do her laundry. So, I went back to Natasha's room to ask for directions."

Bruce crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Tony. "That doesn't sound like the reason why you look like this now."

"It's not. Her door was open, so I went in. I didn't see her, but there were some dirty clothes on the bed, so I picked them up so I could wash them too."

"Uh-huh. Sure."

Tony glared at Bruce. "Anyway, I may have been checking the tags on her bra when Clint found me. He was in full Hawkeye mode and he went berserk. It was terrifying."

"I'm sure it was nothing that you didn't deserve."

"Anyway, then Natasha came running to see what all the fuss was about. Turns out she had been in the shower, and the towel slipped a little bit, and then she and the Hawk were both screaming at me in, like, three different languages."

"And?"

"And the next thing I knew I got thrown into the hallway, covered in shampoo and without directions to the laundry room," Tony finished sadly.

Bruce couldn't resist the urge to facepalm. "_That's it?_ You're lucky they didn't kill you."

Tony shrugged, grinning. "It was totally worth it. Turns out Natasha _does_ like lace, and lots of it."

Bruce glanced back down at his calculations. Given that Natasha was a strategic mastermind and Tony was a first class perv, the odds favored a violent death for the billionaire. "Let's not play _Risk_ ever again."


End file.

Avengers, Humor