Naruto 1. Wishful Thinking

Summary: Naruto has merged with the Kyuubi, causing some very interesting changes. Can our poor hero survive being the object of everyone's affections?

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, never have, and I probably never will (I can dream though right…)

"Dialogue"

'Thoughts'

"**Kyuubi**"

* * *

Morning dawned on a very unhappy Uzumaki Naruto. "I hate Mondays," he grumbled, rising from his bed. In truth he just hated mornings in general. He always had and he probably always would. For the past few months, however, he had _really _hated mornings. 'Hmmm, they're late today,'he realized as he looked at the clock,'Maybe they've given up_.' _He really hoped they had. It wasn't fun being the focus of so many people's affections, especially when those people were _boys_. Ever since he had merged with the Kyuubi and assumed his new form, the other young shinobi of the village had been all over him. Even the lazy-ass Shikamaru had joined the 'chase' for the kitsune. Naruto sighed as he stepped in front of the mirror, wondering how all his friends had suddenly turned gay just because he had changed slightly.

"**Slightly is a bit of an understatement don't you think kit?**"

'Good morning Kyuubi' he offered as he pictured the fox-demon in his mind, joining her in her cage. She had taken her human form today, that of a very beautiful and though Naruto was ashamed to admit he had noticed, _very_ well endowed woman. Kyuubi noticed the sad pout he wore and tried to cheer him up.

"**What's wrong kit? I don't understand why you are so unhappy with your changes, you look so kawaii! And you get so much more attention now than you used to. You should be flattered that all of the young males in the village want to fuck you senseless! Especially since some of them are so… appealing."** she chuckled as she licked her lips. Naruto cringed at this unexpectedly lewd and unfortunately very true statement from the fox. The insane glint in her eyes didn't help the situation either. **"You know kit," **she continued, much to Naruto's chagrin, **"You really should stop all your pretending and just acknowledge the fact that you're gay. It's not going to come as a huge surprise to any of your friends in the village, seeing as how all the boys are after you already anyway. If anything they will celebrate! More importantly, you can find a nice mate to settle down and have pups with! I see a number of good candidates already trying to court you, despite your refusals. I just can't understand why you don't give in and pick one already. It doesn't do to suppress one's true feelings."**

Naruto had listened to all this in horror, wondering when the fox had become so perverted. Even he had to admit though, she had some good points. 'No! All her points suck! I'm _not_ gay!!!' Naruto promptly left the fox's cage, afraid of more emotional trauma. He opened his eyes and stared into the mirror. "I don't look that different…" he sighed, knowing as he said it that it was a lie. His hair was now about a foot longer and heavily streaked with a blend of crimson and orange. Personally, he liked his new hair, especially the way it glistened in the sun, as if on fire. He had grown fond of his new eyes as well, though he still thought they looked a bit strange. Whereas before his eyes had been a vibrant light sky blue, now they changed colors according to his mood. The whiskers on his cheeks had deepened as well, further adding to his beauty. He had grown a bit too, and was now a respectable 5'8", a major improvement in his opinion. His fingers had grown long and supple, while his nails had sharpened, giving them a claw-like appearance. The shape of his body had also changed drastically; though Naruto wasn't sure how much he liked it. His chest had become firm and toned, while his limbs had become lithe, causing him to move with a delicate grace, reminiscent of a woman, a fact that he was all too painfully aware of. The smooth curves he had developed did nothing to make him feel better about this either. His complexion had also become permanently tan, something he was proud of. All in all, he thought he had become quite a fox (I don't know why I kept this horrible pun in), despite his more feminine changes. He was startled by his self evaluation and decided to just shut down his brain for awhile and take a shower. "Sometimes it hurts to think" he mumbled as he began to undress.

After he had finished his shower and dressed, Naruto realized he was hungry and decided to go to Ichiraku's for some ramen, having forgotten to do any food shopping as usual. He planned to spend the day training, seeing as how missions had been canceled for the week. As he got to the door and began to turn the knob, he stopped, remembering his problem. 'As soon as I step outside this door, they're all going to start chasing me again.' His stomach continued to growl, however, and Naruto knew he was defeated. He was just going to have to take his chances. Ramen was worth the risk he decided. He opened the door and stepped outside, wondering if he would be able to deny his stalkers what they wanted. "My ass." he mumbled as he spotted them coming down the street. He took off at a run, hoping to lose them in the crowds of Konoha.


	2. A Genius Plan Unfolds

Here we go again…

"Dialogue"

'Thoughts'

"**Kyuubi**"

* * *

As soon as he saw the group of stalkers coming up the street towards him, Naruto took off as fast as his legs could carry him and made a beeline for Ichiraku's, hoping he hadn't been noticed. Not long after that, the group of shinobi reached Naruto's house.

"Damnit, we missed him somehow!" a tall boy with long hair and startlingly white eyes said to his companions. A collective sigh escaped the group as they wondered how Naruto had evaded them. "I guess its every man for himself now then." the boy said with a smirk. "May the best shinobi win." With that he started down Konoha's main street, intending to search the village for Naruto.

"Well said my eternal rival Neji!" a boy with black, bushy eyebrows called after him, striking his 'good-guy pose'; seemingly unaware of how odd he looked stretching in green spandex; in public no less. "But it shall be I, Rock Lee," he continued, "who wins Naruto-kun's heart, for I am driven by the Flames of Youth!" He struck another pose and was greeted by groans of disgust from his remaining two companions, both of whom thought Lee was more than a little insane.

"This whole Naruto business is so troublesome. I think I'll go take a nap and come up with a solution to this little problem." the boy called Nara Shikamaru informed his friends. As he started to wander off toward his favorite nap spot in the woods, he glanced again at Lee who was still holding his pose. 'He seriously needs to get his head checked out.' the genius thought, sighing more heavily than usual.

The last boy, Inuzuka Kiba, watched Shikamaru walk away and was reminded of Lee, who still refused to stop posing despite the worried looks he was drawing from passers-by. Letting out his own exasperated sigh, Kiba turned and picked up his pet dog, who had been sitting beside him wagging it's tail happily throughout the exchange. "C'mon Akamaru," he said cheerily, "let's go hunt that fox." The puppy barked happily in response. Placing Akamaru on his head, Kiba headed for the market, intent on finding Naruto before the others. It would be several minutes before Lee realized he was alone and when he finally did, he too started towards the village square to search for Naruto.

Meanwhile, our kitsune had made it to Ichiraku's and was halfway through his third bowl of ramen, when he received an unpleasant surprise. Out of nowhere a pale arm wrapped itself around Naruto's chest and held him down in his chair. "Hey dobe, what took you so long to get here?" a silky voice drawled from behind him. Naruto gulped in fear as he realized whose arm it was around him.

"Sa-Sasuke!" Naruto yelped as he was spun forcefully around in his chair to face the Uchiha. Sasuke regarded him with an appraising look, licking his lips slowly, lust evident in his eyes. 'Oh god, he's raping me with his eyes! Naruto thought, watching Sasuke's face carefully. 'He really does have such pretty eyes…so deep, like a window into his soul… I could get lost forever in those eyes… What the hell am I saying!?! He's got ugly, perverted eyes!'

After a minute of tense silence and plenty of interested looks from nearby villagers, Sasuke spoke. "I knew if I waited around here long enough you would show up sooner or later Naruto. Now that I've got you all to myself, why don't we go training today, just you and me, it'll be… _fun_." he smirked at the last part, drawing an agitated look from Naruto.

"Uh, no thanks Sasuke, I uh, promised Sakura-chan I would...um 'Think Naruto, think!' help her train today. Maybe some other time though, hehehe…" Naruto laughed nervously and tried to break away from his would-be rapist. The Uchiha wouldn't let go, however, and leaned in close to Naruto again

"I wasn't asking dobe." he whispered into the struggling blonde's ear while breathing in the scent of Naruto's hair. 'Mmmm… he smells fresh, like the forest after a spring shower' Naruto gasped and tried once more to break away and was again unsuccessful. Sasuke was contemplating hoisting Naruto over his shoulder and rushing him to the Uchiha compound, when he noticed a distinct chakra signature heading toward them. 'Hyuuga. That prick is always trying to interfere with my plans for Naruto. What part of, "Naruto is mine." doesn't the retard understand!?' Sasuke cursed under his breath as he felt the Hyuuga drawing closer. By this time Naruto was also aware of Neji's approach and a plan began to form in his head, his trademark fox-grin spreading across his adorable face. 'If I can get these two perverts to fight each other, maybe I can escape while they aren't looking. It's genius!' Sasuke noticed the smile on Naruto's face and, thinking Naruto had decided to take him up on his offer, released his hold on the blonde. What Naruto did next sent Sasuke into a fit of silent rage.

"HEY NEJIIIIIIII!!!" Naruto screamed as loud as he could, startling all in the vicinity. Neji heard Naruto's shout (along with half of Konoha) and ran to the source. When he saw Naruto a smile lit up his more-often-than-not emotionless face, a smile which quickly vanished when he noticed Sasuke.

"Uchiha." Neji mouthed coldly, glaring daggers at the brunette.

"Hyuuga" Sasuke replied, fixing Neji with his patented "Uchiha Death Glare".

The two continued to glare at each other for several moments before Neji decided that Sasuke had wasted enough of his and Naruto's time and turned to address the blonde.

"You called Naruto-kun?"

Naruto blushed at the sweet smile Neji was giving him 'Wow, Neji's got such an adorable face; I wonder why I never noticed it before…' Naruto was brought out of his reverie suddenly by Sasuke, who had cleared his throat loudly. The blonde noticed that Neji was still staring at him, expectantly awaiting an answer to his question. 'Think you idiot, think! This is your genius plan and you know what will happen if you screw this one up!' Naruto shuddered at this, knowing he could quite literally be screwed if he didn't play his cards right. "I uh… just wanted to see if you wanted to go training with me and Sasuke… if you aren't busy with anything." he batted his eyelashes seductively at Neji, hoping to entice the Hyuuga into agreeing. 'As long as I'm not alone with either one of them, everything should be ok.' This move by Naruto was noticed by an extremely annoyed-looking Sasuke, who cleared his throat again, muttering curses under his breath. Naruto could have sworn he heard Sasuke distinctly say something about the impending deaths of the entirety of the Hyuuga clan, but he couldn't be sure.

Neji stood there a moment, looking back and forth between Naruto and Sasuke, acutely aware that his face was covered in a deep blush. Inner-Neji did a victory dance when he saw Naruto look at him so suggestively. 'My god Naruto is so fucking sexy!' Neji thought with glee, 'He obviously wants me and I want him! Why do we have to be in public and with that bastard Uchiha to boot? He always seems to be around at the worst possible times, ruining things between Naruto and I! I should go with them and maybe if I'm lucky, I can get Naruto alone for some special training later!' Neji's head about exploded with glee as he thought of "special" training with Naruto and he happily agreed to go with the pair. 'I can make sure Uchiha keeps his filthy hands off Naruto too' he realized as an afterthought.

Naruto smiled broadly when Neji agreed to train with them, knowing that he was safe, for the moment at least. "Let's get going guys; we've been standing here long enough." With that Naruto paid for his ramen and led the two other shinobi out of Ichiraku's and towards the training grounds, a broad grin crossing his face.

A few minutes after the trio had left, Kiba and Akamaru reached Ichiraku's. The canine-nin had finally thought to look for Naruto there and was very surprised when said blonde was nowhere in to be seen. 'He was here recently though, I'm sure of it. Smells like he met up with Neji and that bastard Uchiha. I'd better follow them and make sure neither of them tries anything funny on my Naruto.' With that he took off after the three shinobi, intent on claiming the kitsune for his own.

Naruto, Neji, and Sasuke reached the training grounds after what seemed like an eternity of uncomfortable silence. Naruto was actually grateful for the silence; it had given him time to think about his plan. He had decided to use the other boys' obvious affections towards him to his advantage. '_All right here goes nothing… I can't believe I'm actually going to do this…'_ Naruto turned around to face the other two with a big smile on his face, that is until he noticed them both leering at him. He also noticed the considerable bulge in each of their pants. Not one to be put off from a plan (especially one as genius as this one), Naruto decided to proceed against his better judgment. He trotted over to the pair, trying to walk in as sexy a manner as possible, a smile gracing his features once again. Both Neji and Sasuke blushed when they saw how Naruto was acting, one thought running through both of their minds.

"Hey boys," Naruto began slowly, trying to pronounce each syllable deliberately to enhance the effect, "Why don't you two show me what you're made of and afterwards I'll give the winner a," he paused here for dramatic effect, "… special present." He giggled slightly and batted his eyelashes alluringly at the two, inwardly pleased with his own acting. The two boys struggled to keep from falling over at this unexpected display from Naruto. Both agreed at once, each boy determined to win the blonde's "special present". Naruto took a seat under a nearby tree and signaled to the two combatants that he was ready. The pair took their places across the clearing from each other and the fight began.

* * *

Review! I command it and such.


	3. The Contest Begins

"Dialogue"

'Thoughts'

"**Kyuubi**"

* * *

Neji and Sasuke glared at each other from opposite ends of the training field, their intentions clear. Both boys were ready and willing to put it all on the line for Naruto as they commenced their duel. They had just begun to fight when they were interrupted by a sudden shout from Naruto. Both boys looked towards the source and discovered a rather dazed looking Shikamaru sprawled on Naruto's lap. The two suspended their fight and went to investigate, barely able to hide the jealously they were feeling.

"Shikamaru where did you come from?" Naruto asked the lazy shinobi, surprised and somewhat aroused at having the other boy land in his lap so suddenly. The blonde had turned a healthy shade of pink and was steadily growing redder as he began to get hard. He noticed that Neji and Sasuke were on their way over and let out an exasperated sigh, knowing that his genius plan would never work now. Truth be told, Naruto wasn't so sure that he wanted to escape anymore, as his erection touched Shikamaru, sending a faint shiver through both boys.

"Oi Nara, what the fuck do you think you're doing?!?" Sasuke demanded of the poor genius, who was still too out of it to reply. In fact, Shikamaru had recovered from his fall almost immediately, but he had felt Naruto's hardness against his chest and was thus inclined to stay where he was for as long as possible. Taking his time to collect himself, he sat up and looked at the two approaching shinobi, a harassed expression covering his face.

"What the fuck am I doing!?!" he began, feigning anger, "What the fuck are you two doing?!? I was just minding my own business taking a nap here and then you two assholes had to start a fight and wake me up! And I was having the nicest dream about…" He stopped suddenly, blushing profusely. He had a feeling that both boys knew exactly what he had been dreaming about anyway, judging from the suspicious looks they were giving him, and he didn't like it at all.

"Uh, Shikamaru, would you mind getting off me?" Naruto chimed in, trying to push Shikamaru off at the same time.

"Oh! Sorry Naruto I, er, didn't see you there." the genius replied as he removed himself reluctantly from the Naruto's lap. '_Dear god that felt good_.' he mused, as sat down against the tree, resisting the urge to jump the blonde right there. '_Calm down Shika_,' he told himself, taking a deep breath, '_you'll get your chance with Naruto soon enough. For now you've just gotta play it by ear and wait for the right moment_.' Thus decided, he turned again to face the others. "So um, what were you guys doing anyway?"

Naruto grinned broadly as he told Shikamaru how he had promised to train with whoever had won the battle. By this time Neji and Sasuke had sat down as well, after a brief struggle over who would sit closer to Naruto. Neji had won and was sitting triumphantly on the blonde's right; while a furious Sasuke was took a seat to Shikamaru's left. The three hunters and their prey then began to force small talk, all four aware of the actual situation, none willing to broach the subject for fear of embarrassment. Things continued like this for several minutes before a loud bark announced the arrival of Kiba and Akamaru. The canine-nin and his dog had been tracking Naruto all the way from Ichiraku's and were happy to have finally found the kitsune. Kiba, however, was not happy to also discover that his three friends had found Naruto first. It hurt his pride as an Inuzaka to know that he had been beaten in a hunt, '_Especially by that bastard Uchiha_.' After saying hi to the other shinobi, Kiba took a seat next to Neji and joined in the conversation. They talked about missions, the weather, ramen (only Naruto had much to say on this subject), and various other things, studiously avoiding the problem at hand. Naruto was growing tired of the situation and decided to consult Kyuubi for a solution. While the others were busy talking, he paid a quick visit to the fox.

"Hey Kyuubi you awake?" he yelled loudly, not really caring if he disturbed her or not.

"**Yes, I'm here kit. What brings you by so suddenly? From the looks of things you have more important business to attend to than talking to me." **she replied from within her cage.

"Well yea that's kinda what I wanted to talk to you about. I… I've decided I want to put an end to all of this and just pick one of them to be my boyfriend, but I don't know which one to choose. I mean I like them all a lot as friends, but I've never thought about them this way before..." '_Not while conscious anyway._'he admitted to himself.

Kyuubi couldn't suppress the squeal of delight that escaped her when she heard this. At heart, the old fox was really quite a perverted yaoi fangirl and she rejoiced at the news that her Naruto would soon be involved in a relationship with so many fine young males. After all, living for almost a millennia as she had, the fox had come to understand a thing or two about horny teenage boys. '_Should make for some very interesting situations._' Again she couldn't help but giggle, drawing an angry yell from Naruto. "**Well kit, if you want my honest opinion, I suggest that you try them all out for a bit, sort of like a contest. Not only will you be able to choose your mate, but just think of all the things they will do to win you! They'll take you on picnics and buy you nice things and write you poetry… just imagine all the free ramen you will get!**" Kyuubi knew that mentioning free ramen was a really underhanded tactic when dealing with Naruto and she felt slightly guilty about it, but damnit she really wanted to see some hot boy-love! She hadn't gotten to see any yaoi in nearly two centuries and she felt it was long overdue. Very, very long overdue. Besides she wasn't really lying to Naruto, she was just feeding him information that would lead him to accommodate her wishes. Yes that was it. '_It will work out better for him in the end this way too_' she realized, as her motherly instincts overpowered her fangirlism for the briefest of moments. '_And if they happen to provide me with some much needed entertainment, it's just another added bonus_…' a lecherous grin appearing on her face at this thought. Naruto's excited response forced her to turn her attention to him once again.

"WOW! You really think they will buy me ramen Kyuubi!?! I didn't think about it like that. I can actually get something out of this gigantic love-whateverthefuckangle that's going on now! And I can pick which one of them is best to be my boyfriend! Thanks a lot Kyuubi!" he managed to get out as he rushed from the prison room, eager to inform his friends of his decision.

"**No problem kit, just make sure you choose the one that will make you happiest**!" she called after him. '_And hopefully he will choose the one that's wildest in bed too heehee. I'd put my money on the dog-boy there_…' And so she passed the rest of the day, imagining scenes of boy-love so steamy, that they would have caused any who saw them to die an unfortunate, but blissful, nosebleed-related death.

Naruto returned from his visit to Kyuubi to find his friends arguing heatedly about who was going to spend the rest of the day with him. He listened for a moment, inwardly pleased that they were all so completely obsessed with him. '_Man I'm gonna get so much free ramen! I'd better hurry up and tell them my plan before they start to kill each other. From the look in Sasuke's eyes I'd say that moment isn't very far off_…' Naruto jumped up suddenly and stood before the four arguing shinobi. He was a bit pissed when they didn't immediately notice him, so he coughed loudly to get their attention. All four stopped fighting at once and turned to see what the blonde was up to.

"You guys I have a confession to make," he paused here to let the suspense build, "I'm gay and I want one of you guys to be my boyfriend And I've figured out how I'm going to choose!" He had to stop here, however, as his friends all got up and started doing a victory dance, forgetting their previous conflict and oblivious to the one ahead. Each boy was convinced that Naruto was going to choose him, until the second part of what the kitsune had said sunk in. '_What does he mean he's got to choose_!?! _I'm right here, he should obviously choose me_!!!' they all thought in unison, their inner-selves fuming.

The blonde saw what was happening and quickly resumed explaining. "Ok guys this is going to be kinda like a contest. I'll go out with each of you on different days and after awhile, I'll pick who I want to be my boyfriend. There are a couple of rules though. 1.) There will be NO fighting between you guys during this contest. I don't want any of you trying to ruin one another's chances. That means you Sasuke! 2.) If you try to jump me or anything you automatically lose. Just because I'm finally ready to have a boyfriend doesn't mean I want you all shoving yourselves up my ass." He sweat-dropped (--); at this point, noticing the glazed look that had appeared on his each of his friend's faces at the mention of his rear. '_God damnit, do they all have to be so perverted_? _That look reminds me of Ero-Sennin when he's peeping on women at the hot springs. It's totally creeping me out_!' "Anyway," he continued, "I've thought of a fair way to get this thing started as well. Lee will have the first date because he's not here. That way you four won't kill each other trying to decide which of you gets to go first. Any questions?" He put on a serious face and struck a no-nonsense pose, just to make sure they all knew he wasn't playing around. They all nodded in agreement, excited at the chance of finally getting Naruto. They were also still too out of it from the mental image of Naruto's ass to do anything other than dumbly agree. He really did have such a nice little ass after all. "Ok then guys, I'm going to go find Lee and tell him what's going on. Cya!" He took off at a slow trot, making sure to shake his hips appealingly, just to give the four a glimpse of what they were playing for. After he had gone, the poor shinobi fell over, their brains experiencing sensory overload. It would be some time before any of them could move.

'_This is even better than my original plan_!' Naruto chuckled as he raced to find Lee, wanting to give the taijutsu master a chance to prepare for the next day. Little did the poor boy know what he was getting into…


	4. The Green Beast Awakens

Lime in this chapter. You've been warned.

"Dialogue"

'Thoughts'

"**Kyuubi**"

* * *

About ten minutes after Naruto had caused his brain to have a meltdown, Shikamaru recovered and turned to look at his companions. Sasuke and Neji were recovering fast, though they were both still a light shade of pink. Kiba, however, was still completely out of it and didn't look like he would be back anytime soon. '_I think Naruto may have overdone it a bit, how troublesome_.' Shikamaru thought as he tried hard not to laugh at the dumbfounded look on the canine-nin's face. He failed miserably.

"Looks like dog-boy couldn't handle what Naruto had to offer. I'm not surprised." the Uchiha commented, as he noticed what Shikamaru was laughing at. "Face it Inuzaka you don't have what it takes for this. There's no way you're man enough to satisfy Naruto, hell I doubt you could even get him hard. Just give up now and save yourself the embarrassment." As he said this Sasuke fixed Kiba with a cold sneer, almost daring the canine-nin to attack. '_After all, Naruto didn't say anything about self-defense in those rules of his. If dog-boy attacks me and I beat him to a bloody pulp, it'll be him in the dog house not me_.'

Kiba, however, did not take the bait, much to everyone's surprise. "Fuck you Uchiha." he growled as he got to his feet. "I'm going to win this thing and put you in your place you fucking pompous prick. By the way, you shouldn't mouth off to people who can smell emotion. You fucking reek of anxiety, not so confident you can win deep down are you? Fucking retard" With that he started off towards his house, muttering curses under his breath. Shikamaru got up and left too, leaving just Neji and Sasuke. They glared at each other before parting, each plotting different ways to sabotage the other's chances with Naruto. This was going to get very ugly before the end, of that they all were certain.

Meanwhile, Naruto had searched half of Konoha for Lee before thinking to check at Gai's house. Leave it to Naruto to look everywhere for someone except where they lived. As he approached the door, Naruto took some time to reflect. '_Hmmm, am I sure that I really wanna go through with this? It is Lee after all. But then again he does deserve the same chance I gave the others I guess. Still something just feels off about this place_…' However, unbeknownst to the kitsune, he was not the first to have a queasy sensation when walking to Gai's door. Few people who knew Gai or Lee had ever _willingly _entered that house, for they all feared what could happen if they did. '_As Kami as my witness, I will NOT wear their spandex_!' Naruto swore as he knocked on the door. After a moment, Lee answered the door. He was surprised to see Naruto and didn't attempt to hide it.

"Na..Naruto-kun! What are you doing h..here?" he managed to get out. '_Calm down Lee, think of what Gai-sensei taught you_! _He's probably just here to say hello, you can't pass out now_!_ Never give up_!' Poor Lee was fighting very hard against the jelly-legs Naruto had given him and he somehow kept himself from falling over.

"Um… hey Lee, I uh, just wanted to tell you that I'm gay and I want to go out with you tomorrow." Naruto blurted out, blushing as he moved his hand through his hair. He restrained his laughter as Lee fell over backwards in shock. Naruto then explained the details of the situation to the bewildered Taijutsu master, not surprised when Lee agreed instantly to the conditions of the contest. '_I'd better leave fast, it looks like this is getting to be too much for him to handle_…' Naruto thought, wondering if Lee would start having seizures if he stayed much longer. "Well I'd better get going, come by my place tomorrow whenever you're ready. See you tomorrow Lee!" he added with a smile. At that Naruto headed home at a brisk pace, not allowing himself to laugh until he was a good two blocks away.

Back at Lee's, however, a fierce battle was raging. Now it should be known that since Lee had started to like Naruto, he had developed a secret, inner personality. This personality was _almost_ normal and it was attempting to beat the crap out of the regular, Gai-twisted personality of Lee. Unfortunately for poor Lee, though the battle ended in victory for his new persona, the Gai-clone was not completely vanquished. Done with his inner problems, he turned to his new problem, what the hell he was going to do with Naruto for an entire day. He thought and thought for hours, but nothing came to him. After he finished dinner, an idea finally came to him. '_Yes_!_ I finally have my chance to win Naruto_!_ I just have to impress him so much tomorrow that he forgets all about the others_.' At this point the Gai-clone broke free again. '_I must show Naruto-kun my Youthful Love on our date tomorrow_!_ The Green Beast of Konoha will capture that kitsune and together our Youthful Spirits will soar to meet their destiny_!"No that will make me lose! I've got to act normal or Naruto-kun will never be mine" Lee said aloud as he regained control of himself. He then went to bed, sure that his plan would work. He had a dream about Naruto and was not the least bit surprised in the morning when he discovered that his sheets needed to be changed…again.

Lee got ready for his day with Naruto in silence. He had butterflies in his stomach and didn't want to speak, lest he start throwing up. His normal half was in control today, a fact he was endlessly grateful for. He was determined to suppress the Gai-clone persona, at the very least until Gai returned from his mission. Today, Lee was going to be himself for once.

After taking a shower, he looked through his closet trying to find some nice clothes to wear. It's just too bad his fashion sense was not much better than Gai's. Lee decided to wear black cargo pants that hugged his hips and a green T-shirt with the Konoha crest on the back. He also decided not to wear his orange leg coverings or his arm bandages either. When he was done dressing, he headed back into the bathroom and shaved his eyebrows, marveling at how different he looked when he had finished. He wanted to do something about his mop-top hair, but decided against it. He would just do more damage if he tried to fix it and it looked bad enough already. When he was at last satisfied with how he looked, Lee headed downstairs and had a quick breakfast. When he was finished he headed off to Naruto's house, aware of how much was riding on his success. '_Here goes_…' he gulped as he walked up to Naruto's house and knocked on the door.

"Just a minute." Lee heard Naruto call from inside.

Lee was staring absentmindedly at stone next to the porch, when the door opened. Lee turned to look at Naruto and gasped. '_Naruto looks so hot_!' he marveled, looking the blonde up and down. Naruto was wearing his usual orange pants, but today he had on a white and blue ty-dye T-shirt. The shirt brought out his eyes, which were green today (oh for pointless irony!). Lee also noticed that Naruto was not wearing his forehead protector either, his bangs were down. This made Naruto look even sexier, to the point that Lee even thought about jumping Naruto then and there. '_That would not be right though_.'

Naruto broke when he noticed Lee staring at him. "Hey Lee. You look good today" he said, surprised to find that it was true.

"Thank you Naruto-kun. Would you like to go get some ramen or have you already eaten?"

Oh, no thanks I actually just finished some ramen." Naruto answered, closing the door. "So what do you have planned for today?" he asked, smiling as he and Lee turned to walk down the street.

"Well, I thought that I'd teach you a few new Taijutsu moves and then after that we could go back to my house for a homemade dinner." Lee felt his face burn as he said this, thinking that they would be alone in his house.

"Oh wow that sounds great." Naruto took Lee's hand in his, making Lee jump in surprise in the process. The blonde chuckled at Lee's anxiousness. "Relax Lee, you shouldn't be so nervous. I'm just happy we're doing this." With that they started off towards the training grounds.

(Insert generic passing of time statement here D)

When the sun began to set, Lee told Naruto that it was time for them to get going. They were both sweaty and exhausted from hours of practice. Naruto had almost mastered the moves Lee had taught him, much to Lee's amazement.

"Really Naruto I don't know how you can learn new techniques so easily." Lee had grown comfortable around Naruto as the day progressed and had ceased calling him Naruto-kun. "It reminds me of the Sharingan actually. How did you do it?" he inquired as he took his shirt off, using it to wipe the perspiration from his face.

"Oh, I don't know really." Naruto chuckled. "It's just because I had such a good teacher I guess." He gave Lee his fox grin as they walked back to Lee's house, making Lee turn beet red. '_Damn he's got a nice body_. _I never noticed it before with all that horrible spandex in the way_.' he thought as he wrapped his arm around Lee's waist, pleased by the gasp this elicited from the other boy.

When they got to the house, Naruto reluctantly removed his arm and Lee unlocked the door. He headed for the kitchen immediately. "Make yourself at home Naruto, I'll start dinner right away." he called over his shoulder.

Naruto plopped himself down on the couch and looked around. '_It doesn't look that weird, considering Gai and Lee live here. God I wish I wasn't so dirty though. All this sweat and crap on me is gross._'

"Hey Lee can I take a shower before dinner?" he asked, popping his head into the kitchen.

"Oh, yes of course. Upstairs second door to your left." Lee replied without turning around

"Thanks." Naruto turned and headed upstairs to the shower. He opened the door to the bathroom and stopped dead. The room was completely green. '_I knew this house was too normal for them_.' he chuckled to himself. He stripped off his clothes and got in.

Meanwhile, downstairs Lee had processed what Naruto had asked. '_Oh. My. God. Naruto is naked in my house right now_.' he thought as he heard the water turn on upstairs. Impure thoughts started forcing themselves into Lee's mind, images of naked Naruto, begging Lee to pleasure him. Lee felt himself growing hard despite his best efforts to calm down. '_Oh no… I'm going to lose it_.' Lee felt his penis start to throb as he imagined more scenes with a very nude Naruto. '_I have to risk it, I've got to go sneak a peek_.' His course decided, though against his better judgment, Lee stealthily crept upstairs to the bathroom.

Lee slowly turned the doorknob and peeked into the steam-filled bathroom. He could see the silhouette of Naruto's tan body in the shower, turned away from him. Lee's mind was telling him to run now and save himself, but it was too late. He was just too hard. His brain was no longer in charge. He tip-toed over to the shower, noticing that Naruto had left the door slightly ajar. Then something happened that Lee was not expecting. Something which nearly made Lee pass out.

"Oh Lee…" Naruto moaned, stroking himself at a frenzied pace. He was relieving himself while thinking of Lee!

'_Oh god oh god what do I do, WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO_?' Lee screamed in his head, beside himself with mingled shock and pleasure.

'_There's only one thing I can do. Naruto. I've got to risk it! I couldn't stop myself now even if I wanted to…_' With that he stepped away from the shower and removed his pants and boxers, revealing a very large and VERY hard cock. He crept back to the shower, opened the door a bit more, and slipped in behind Naruto. '_He really isn't as aware of his surroundings as a shinobi should be if I can get this close unnoticed_.' Lee noted, though he was very grateful for this in the current situation. He couldn't believe he was standing in the shower, naked, with Naruto! All of a sudden he lost it, he just couldn't restrain himself any longer.

**WARNING! DO NOT READ FURTHER IF BOY ON BOY DISTURBS YOU!**

Lee grabbed Naruto on the shoulder and turned the surprised blonde around to face him. He pulled the boy closer and looked into his eyes, they were clouded with shock and desire.

"Lee what the mmmph!!" Lee silenced Naruto with a passionate kiss, pressing his tongue to Naruto's lips, demanding entry. To Lee's surprise, the lips parted and Naruto allowed him in. Lee sent his tongue plunging into Naruto's mouth while his hands began to run up and down Naruto's back. Lust overcame Naruto then, and he began to kiss Lee back in earnest, sending his own tongue to invade the other shinobi's mouth. They warred briefly, enjoying the taste of each other as waves of intense pleasure washed over them. Neither of them had ever been this close to another person. Naruto wrapped his arms around Lee as they continued their embrace. They finally broke the kiss to breath, both of them gasping for air, both of them surprised at what had happened. They stared at each other for a moment, totally flushed from head to toe. The air of desire in the room was palpable. Lee broke the silence at last.

"I am sorry Naruto-kun…I, I couldn't help myself I just… wha!?!" Naruto silenced Lee this time as he pulled the other boy into another kiss, grinding his hips against Lee's at the same time.

"I want you now, Green Beast of Konoha." Naruto growled as he broke the kiss. Lee didn't need further encouragement as his instincts took over.

He began kissing Naruto's neck, sucking on the skin where neck met shoulder, making sure to leave a mark. Naruto moaned as he did this, driving Lee wild with lust as he moved down to the blonde's chest. Naruto ran his hands through Lee's hair, now completely soaked, as Lee sucked on his left nipple, while teasing the right with his hand. "Lee…" Naruto panted out, his member growing so hard it hurt. "Don't stop unngh…" Lee did as Naruto asked, continuing to pleasure the kitsune. He began stroking himself as he played with the blonde's nipples, wondering how far they were going to go.

While all this was going on, inside Naruto Kyuubi was cheering wildly from her cage. "HELL YEAH!!!" she screamed ecstatically, her fangirlism reaching new heights. "This is what I've been waiting for! Go Naruto go, let him pound you into oblivion!" She was so pleased initially by this turn of events that she had completely forgotten about the contest. "SHIT! If he goes all the way with this one here, he won't even get to try the others! Fuck I'll miss all that yaoi with the other boys! I've got to stop this before they ruin my fun! But god do they have to be so fucking hot?" She knew she would have to bring Naruto back to his senses though. Her fangirlism demanded it. And she really wanted to see how good the dog-boy was in bed, so she suppressed her desire to see the two boys continue and spoke.

"**Kit stop now! You can't do this with him yet remember the contest!"**

'_Damnit Kyuubi do I have to? I'm so hard right now… I want him so badly_!'

"**Yes, you HAVE to stop. It's not fair to the other boys or to you. You could be missing out when one of the other brats turns out to be better than this one or you find something wrong with this one. Don't screw yourself out of finding the best possible mate! Besides there will be plenty of time to fuck the winner senseless when you do come to a final decision!" **_'There better be plenty of fucking when he finally chooses one_.' She grinned lecherously at this afterthought.

Naruto realized that she was right, and reluctantly broke the embrace with Lee. '_Damnit_' he thought as he felt Lee's warmth leave him. "Lee… I have to go, we can't do this, it's just not fair to the others." He could see the hurt and confusion in Lee's eyes, but did not allow it to stop him. He got out of the shower, dried off, and got dressed as fast as he could. He thanked Lee for a nice day and said goodbye, running back to his own house wondering what tomorrow would bring. Poor Lee just sat in the shower until the water turned cold, both amazed at what had happened and worried that he had done something to displease Naruto. With a sigh he got up and dried off, sighing as he walked to bed. It had been a very confusing day.


	5. The Morning After

I hate this chapter. It's short and icky…

"Dialogue"

'Thoughts'

"**Kyuubi**"

* * *

Morning dawned on a very unhappy Uzumaki Naruto. He felt that he had been a total asshole to Lee, leaving as suddenly as he had. He didn't like it when his friends were unhappy and he liked it even less when he was the source of their sadness. '_He probably hates my guts now._' the blonde thought as he picked at his breakfast. He felt so shitty that he hadn't even been up for his usual ramen breakfast. '_I don't deserve ramen_' he had thought as he poured the cereal into the bowl.

"**I think you're overreacting to this kit.**" Kyuubi's voice appeared suddenly appeared in his head. "**I'd say the situation is the opposite of what you think, he's probably worried that he pissed you off somehow and that's why you left. Why, I wouldn't be surprised if he was thinking the exact same things as you right now. You just have to talk to him later and tell him you weren't ready to go that far yet, that's all. If he really does care about you he will understand.**"

"Yeah, I guess so." Naruto replied, not really feeling any better even though the fox's words made sense. '_I'll have to find Lee and talk to him later._' Naruto decided as he finished his meal. If he lived that long anyway. "So, uh Kyuubi, what exactly am I supposed to say to the others? It's a pretty sure bet they will all be pissed about what happened between Lee and I."

"**Then you simply won't tell them.**" came the reply."**There's no reason they should know. It might put some of them off, which we definitely don't want. Just try and keep calm when you see them all. Actually, have you figured out how you are going to choose your next date?**"

"I haven't really given it any thought. Maybe I could do eeny-meeny-miny-mo?"

Kyuubi sweat-dropped on hearing this, sometimes she really wished Naruto was just a tad smarter. "**No, that won't do at all.**" she sighed wearily. "**If you want my advice, tell them you picked names out of a hat and go with the shadow-bender. He's very lazy, he probably won't come up with anything spectacular to blow you away while you're still, er, preoccupied with what happened last night. That's just what I think though, the final decision is yours. And you'd better make it fast, you're about to have company.**" No sooner had she said this when someone started knocking on the door.

"Naruto we know you're in there!" he could hear the four shinobi calling.

"Open this damn door now before I blast it in dobe!" Sasuke's voice rang out loud and clear above the others. Not wanting his house to go up in flames, Naruto hurried to open the door. There in front of him stood four pissed, correction very pissed, no wait, EXTREMELY pissed off shinobi.

'_Oh fuck. They know._' Naruto realized as the four pushed past him into the living room. He closed the door slowly, wanting to enjoy his last few minutes of life. Turning around he wondered how they had figured it out, he was certain Lee wouldn't have told them. '_Unless they tortured it out of him._' He shivered at the thought. "All right guys, it's obvious that you know what happened, but how exactly did you find out?"

Sasuke, clearly the ringleader of the little gang, stepped forward with a smirk. A smirk that seriously scared the blonde. He watched as the Sharingan spun to life, making the brunette look even more terrifying. "We paid the little freak a visit this morning, just to see how things went last night. I used my Sharingan to look into his memories while Nara held him down. I saw two things, one I liked and one that made me want to hurl. You should pick who you shower with more carefully Naruto. You don't know what you're missing and it would be such a shame if you went to waste." he added as he licked his lips, a hungry look in his whirling red eyes. He began advancing towards Naruto, lust taking over his mind, but was stopped quickly by a hand from Neji and a growl from Kiba.

"Now is not the time, nor are you the right person." Neji said coolly, standing between Naruto and the horny Uchiha.

"Whatever." Sasuke muttered as he backed off, leaning against the wall. "Prick." he mouthed under his breath, glaring daggers at the Hyuuga.

Smiling slightly, Neji turned his attention back to the kitsune. "Anyway Naruto, we came here for two things. First, we want Lee disqualified for breaking the rules. Though he is my friend and teammate, even I must insist that he be eliminated." Naruto could think of nothing to say to this and he was terrified of getting gang-raped, in his own living room no less, if he refused, so he nodded dumbly in agreement. "Good. Secondly…" Neji continued, using his most pleasant voice, "…we want you to choose whose honor it will be to go out with you tomorrow." He smiled at the blonde, wearing an expression that he hoped said "pick me, pick me!" and was unpleasantly surprised when Naruto replied so quickly:

"Shikamaru will be next." he blurted out, drawing a groan from Kiba and a surprised gulp from the genius in question.

At these words Neji's expression turned ugly, he couldn't fucking believe it. '_I protect Naruto from that bastard Uchiha and I always treat him so nicely and now that lazy fucker gets to go next, without the least bit off effort_!?!_ What the hell!_!!!' Inner Neji was ready to split someone's head open at this point. Regaining control of himself quickly, Neji asked, "And could you tell us how you arrived at that decision?" '_He better have a good excuse…_'

"I uh, picked names out of a hat to be fair." the blonde replied, laughing nervously.

'_Damnit_!_ That is a good excuse, even if he's lying. I guess I'll just have to go along with it._' Neji conceded. "Very well then. Our business is done here I think, unless you want us to stay?" he asked hopefully.

'_Oh yeah like that's gonna happen. Idiots._' he thought as he shooed them all from his house, promising to go straight if they didn't leave him alone for the rest of the day. "See you tomorrow Shika!" he called after them, pleased at how the others stiffened, jealousy evident in their steps. Now cheered considerably, he wondered what to do next.

"Hmmm. Maybe I should wait to talk to Lee. He probably isn't really in the mood to talk to anyone after getting mugged by those four." the blonde thought aloud. "I know! I'll go talk to Iruka-sensei! Sure, he's not gay, but he's gotta know _something_ about relationships. And maybe he will buy me some pity-ramen!"

He started off towards Iruka's at a slow pace, thinking over the day's events and wondering how he had gotten himself into all this.

\


	6. Surprises, Clouds, and Unexpected Guests

Lime, lemon, and plot twists, oh my!

"Dialogue"

'Thoughts'

"**Kyuubi**"

* * *

Naruto slowly plodded over to Iruka's house, wondering how the hell he was going to tell his sensei that he was gay. He was pretty sure Iruka would eventually accept it, though he was worried about the chuunin's initial reaction. He also planned to have a talk with Kakashi as well, despite the high risk of the perverted jounin trying something on him. '_I really didn't like the look he was giving me the last time I saw him…_' Naruto thought with a shudder, he wouldn't put anything past Kakashi, especially in matters like this. Now over the years, the two men in question had taught the blonde many things. Unfortunately, they somehow forgot the lesson about knocking. Iruka had given Naruto a key to his house, figuring that he would hear the hyperactive boy coming long before he ever made it to the door and walked in on anything. He would shortly come to regret this decision. Naruto walked up the path to Iruka's door silently, when he reached the door he sighed heavily and unlocked it. He opened the door to a most unpleasant surprise. His mouth dropped open as he stared at the sight before him. '_Oh. Dear. God._' There on the couch was a very naked Kakashi making out with what Naruto could only assume was an equally nude Iruka. '_Kakashi and Iruka-sensei!! But, they don't even know each other! How the hell did-_' Naruto was suddenly interrupted from this train of thought by a very disturbing revelation. He was enjoying this. '_What the hell!!!! Why am I getting turned on watching this!! I must be going fucking insane, this is so wrong_!!'

"**Ehehehehe, but kit, they really are quite the hot couple. Maybe if you ask them nicely, they will teach you some moves eh? You always did like learning different techniques…**" The fox couldn't contain her laughter at the look of utter revulsion and horror that appeared on Naruto's face at this suggestion. "**Ohohohoho, you know you like that idea deep down. You can't hide your true feelings from me you know. **" she said through raucous peals of laughter. His keys slipped from his hand and hit the floor with a loud clinking noise. At once the two shinobi on the couch stopped what they were doing and looked over at the door.

"Well, well Naruto isn't this a surprise." Kakashi drawled in his lazy tone, as if completely unaware of the situation. In truth he was immensely turned on by the boy's sudden appearance, not that he'd ever let anyone know it. Naruto was his student after all. So he contented himself with leering at the kitsune over his shoulder.

Iruka, however, wasn't a good actor like his lover. "Nar..Naruto!! What are you do-doing here?!?" He got no response from the stunned boy and cursed himself inwardly for giving Naruto a key. "He grabbed his pants from the floor and hastily pulled them on, all the while wearing a scandalized look on his face. He had wanted to tell Naruto about his "friendship" with Kakashi, but he wasn't sure how Naruto would take it. This DEFINATLY was not the way he had wanted the boy to find out. He turned to his lover unsure of what to do, hoping to find support, but instead he noticed the way Kakashi was looking at the still-silent boy. "KAKASHI!!!" Iruka screamed, outraged at the thoughts he _knew_ the silver-haired pervert was having. He delivered a strong blow to the jounin's skull, he couldn't believe Kakashi was thinking about Naruto like that. He was the boy's teacher for god's sake. Iruka hastily pulled on the rest of his clothes and ran to the door, taking the shell-shocked boy with him. He took a last look at his lover and slammed the door.

"Awwwww, I was hoping he would join us or something…" Kakashi pouted as he started to get dressed. He snickered evilly as thoughts of Naruto, Iruka, and himself made their way into his head…of this no more need be said.

Iruka slowly led the silent Naruto to the park, hoping they would be able to find privacy there and give him a chance to explain. He loved Naruto like a brother and did not want this "incident" to come between them. He didn't know what he would do if he had to choose between Naruto and his Kashi-bear (that's my nickname for him, sorry if it disgusts you lol). After what seemed like an eternity of awkward silence, they finally reached the park and Iruka led the boy to a secluded bench. '_Oh god now we have to talk about it. I was such an idiot for giving him a key! Maybe it's for the best, though I would have liked him to have found out differently. At least we don't have to hide anymore. Well, here goes…'_

"Naruto…" he began shakily, unsure of how to proceed.

"It's ok Iruka-sensei." the blonde cut him off, suddenly looking up and smiling at his teacher. "I'm fine with it, really I am. It just took awhile to get over the shock is all."

"You don't think it's wrong?" the stunned Chuunin asked. He hadn't expected Naruto to be so accepting of his alternative lifestyle.

"Um no, not really. I would kinda be a huge hypocrite if I did. I'm dating 4 boys you know. "

"YOU'RE WHAT?!?" the older shinobi screamed, completely blown away by this information. Surely he had heard the boy wrong.

"I'm. Dating. Four. Boys." He really was very amused by his sensei's reaction. "Sasuke, Neji, Kiba, and Shikamaru. I'm going on a date with Shikamaru tomorrow. I was actually visiting you to ask for uh… certain relationship advice." He smiled as the older man processed this information. It would be a minute or two longer apparently.

"**You know, now that you know he's gay too, you could get a lot more than just advice. Experience is everything as they say, ehehehehe…"**

'_Ewwwwwww, Kyuubi that's disgusting_!_ I don't want that kind of help from Iruka and Kakashi-sensei_!_ Jeez, when did you get so perverted you crazy old fox_!' He saw Kyuubi pouting in her cage, clearly hurt by his remark. At the moment, he didn't really care. Iruka's voice snapped his attention back to the world.

"So er, Naruto, what kind of advice did you need?" the brunette asked, dreading the answer. '_Please not the sex talk, please not the sex talk_!' he prayed as he waited for the boy's response.

"Um, well actually…" he flushed crimson at this point, confirming Iruka's worst fears, "I was kinda hoping you could, you know, give me _the talk_." On hearing this Iruka turned a bright shade of red and broke into a sweat.

'_WHY GOD WHY? COULDN'T IT BE ANYTHING BUT THIS??? ANY-FUCKING-THING BUT THIS!!! Oh shit, he's looking at me…I can't do this…_'

"Are you ok Iruka-sensei!?!" Naruto gasped as the Chuunin started changing from red to a sickly shade of blue. In his extreme agitation Iruka had forgotten to breathe. After a few minutes struggling, he managed to regain control of himself. Gulping in terror, he began telling the boy everything he knew about sex, hoping that he would never be asked to repeat anything.

After a few hours of this, Iruka decided that he had told the blonde everything he needed to know and that to continue the discussion would just prolong his torture. "Well Naruto, I think I've covered everything you need to know. I should really get going, I've got papers to grade you know!" '_And I still need to give Kakashi his oral exam…_' the brunette added as an afterthought. Dating the perverted jounin had definitely had its effect on Iruka.

"Oh ok Iruka-sensei," Naruto replied knowingly, not fooled at all by Iruka's excuse. "Have fun with Kakashi-sensei!" He gave the stunned man a wink and took off towards Ichiraku's.

At the ramen stand, Naruto ordered his usual 5 bowls of ramen. While he was inhaling his dinner, two ANBU members stopped by for a takeout order.

"I heard that a suspicious character has been sighted skulking around the village lately. Have you heard anything new about it?" one of the ANBU asked the other while waiting for their meal.

"Nah, whoever it is sure knows how to cover their tracks well. We haven't been able to pick up any kind of trail yet. The Hokage is thinking about stepping up security measures until we catch them. Personally I think it's…" he was interrupted as their order arrived. The two men paid for their meal and quickly left, leaving a disappointed Naruto behind.

'_I wonder who it is that's hiding in the forest. What do you think Kyuubi?_'

"**Who knows kit? There are plenty of weird people in the world. It's not really any concern of yours anyway, you should be more focused on finding your mate.**"

'_Yeah, I guess you're right. I should probably get some sleep so I don't look horrible for Shikamaru tomorrow._' Naruto got up, paid for his meal, and dashed off towards his house. In his hurry to get to sleep, he forgot to set his alarm.

Naruto was woken up the next morning by loud knocking on his door. He stumbled out of bed and went to answer it. He opened the door and rubbed his eyes sleepily, slowly the figure of Shikamaru came into focus.

"Shikamaru what are you doing here?" he asked sleepily.

"I was supposed to take you out today Naruto…" the genius replied sadly. He was not happy at all with the situation. '_Fuck_! _He forgot all about me… and here I was thinking I had a chance like an idiot…_'

Naruto noticed the depressed look on his friend's face and quickly figured out what was wrong, surprising himself greatly. '_Oh damnit now I've gone and upset poor Shika. I really was looking forward to today so much… I'll just have to be extra nice to him today. I'd better start soon too, he looks like he's about to start crying. He's really cute when he pouts now that I notice it…_'

"Um… Naruto if you don't want to go out with me anymore I understand. Sorry for disturbing you." He turned to leave but was pulled back and into an embrace by the blonde.

"Please stay Shika. I really do want to go out with you today, I just woke up is all. My stupid alarm didn't go off. Just give me like 20 minutes to get ready ok?" Silence. "Shikamaru?"

"What…oh yeah sure that's fine Naruto." He broke the embrace, sad to have Naruto's warmth leave him. '_His skin is so soft and silky smooth…I got goose bumps just hugging him. He should definitely walk around shirtless more often. Who needs shirts anyway, they're so troublesome_.'He gazed down disapprovingly at his own fishnet shirt, resisting the urge to tug it off.

"C'mon in Shika you can wait in the living room. I'll get ready as fast as I can and then we can get breakfast ok?"

"Actually I got takeout from Ichiraku's already." The lazy brunette then held up a bag stuffed with many kinds of ramen. '_Wait for it…_'

"Awesome!!!" Naruto's eyes sparkled when he saw the huge bag of ramen, he knew this contest was a good idea. He ran to the bathroom and hurriedly took a shower, then ran back to his room in nothing but a small towel, causing the poor Nara to fall over in a mix of shock and pleasure.

'_Did I just see his ass? Naruto's ass uhhhhhh…_' he sighed longingly. This day just kept getting better and better. He quickly wiped the drool from his mouth as the hyperactive blonde stormed back into the room, ready for ramen.

The two ate quickly, Naruto tucking in seven bowls while Shikamaru contented himself with just two.

"So Shika what did you want to do today?" Naruto asked as he patted his belly contentedly.

"Well I thought we could go swimming in the lake and after that have a picnic and do some cloud watching." the genius replied happily.

"Sure that sounds great, let's go!" Naruto quickly got his swim suit, which turned out to be an orange speedo (yay!) and hurried out the door arm in arm with Shikamaru.

After a 15 minute walk they reached the lake. Naruto couldn't wait to go swimming and hurriedly stripped everything off right in front of a gaping Shikamaru. When he slipped on his swimsuit he heard the dark-haired genius whimper and was strangely pleased by the sound. He jumped into the cold water, splashing water all over the stunned brunette

Shikamaru was beside himself with what Naruto had done. '_HOLY. FUCKING. SHIT! He is so fucking hot!!! Must resist urge to jump him… gah why does he have to make me so damn hard. I'd better get in the water fast and cool down before he notices this…_' Shikamaru removed his shirt to reveal a long, flat chest, with nicely toned abs. He was kind of embarrassed at how pale he was in contrast to the blonde, it just struck him as weird somehow. He lowered himself into the water slowly, sighing as he found relief from what Naruto had done to him.

Naruto had indeed noticed the large bulge in the other boy's pants. He was feeling pretty frisky today thanks to hormones and Shikamaru's hot body wasn't making anything easier. It just begged to be touched. So he decided to have a little fun. He dove underwater and swam behind the lazy shinobi. Said shinobi had his eyes closed while he tried to calm down. Suddenly he felt a hand wrap itself around his waist from behind. He stood completely still as the hand slowly worked its way down to his throbbing erection.

"Want me to help you with this?" Naruto purred into his ear, lust dripping from his voice.

"Nar-Naruto you…" the brunette gasped as Naruto wrapped his hand around his hard member, stroking it gently. Shikamaru was beside himself with pleasure, all he could do was moan softly. Naruto increased his speed, building up a good rhythm. He pumped the genius until the boy came with a cry, spilling his release into the lake around them. Shikamaru's mind, normally humming with activity, totally shut down as he let orgasm wash over him. He had never felt this good in his life and it was all thanks to Naruto.

Naruto withdrew his hand from Shikamaru's nether regions and circled around Shikamaru so that he could face the boy. Shikamaru blushed furiously as the grinning blonde appeared in front of him. '_God now what the hell do I do? I know what I want to do, but will he let me? Probably not, it's against the rules and everything. How troublesome_.'

"Want to do me now?" Naruto asked, looking down at his bulging speedo. Shikamaru's mind exploded. He stood there staring stupidly at Naruto, amazed at what was being asked of him. "Well if you want to, I'll be over there." Naruto gestured over his shoulder further out into the lake. "Don't keep me waiting too long…" He swam away slowly, laughing inwardly at how much he affected the poor boy.

Shikamaru quickly swam after him, not wanting to pass up the opportunity. '_Rules be damned. No way am I missing this._'

"I knew you would come." Naruto giggled, unaware of the pun (which is horrible I'll admit.) He noticed Shikamaru seemed unsure of how to begin, so he guided the other boy over to the shore and took his hand. He placed the boy's hand over his crotch and couldn't help but laugh at the comical look on the other's face. "Go on then Shika." Naruto giggled as the brunette slipped the speedo off of his legs. His giggles quickly turned to moans as Shikamaru began to pleasure him, slowly at first, but then gradually building faster and faster. '_Uhhhhh I'll have to remember how good he is at this…_' Naruto thought fleetingly as he came into Shikamaru's hand.

Shikamaru was panting hard, sensory overload threatening to set in. 'I can't believe we… Naruto… gahhhh…' Shikamaru fell backwards and went under, he had passed out. Naruto had his head thrown back and his eyes closed as he rode out the last waves of pleasure and didn't notice Shikamaru go under. When he returned to his senses, he looked around for the brunette, wondering where he had gotten to. Now Naruto being Naruto, he didn't think to look underwater for a few minutes. When he finally did he yelped in surprise when he spotted the unconscious Shikamaru on the lake bottom. He quickly pulled the boy out and got him ashore.

Naruto pumped the brunette's chest and gave him mouth to mouth, hoping against hope that Shikamaru would be ok. "Shika please no!" Naruto cried as tears spilled from his eyes. He gave one last breath and was surprised as he was pulled into a heated kiss. Shikamaru had awoken to find Naruto giving him CPR and decided to let him continue. He knew it was wrong, but it was free kisses from Naruto, so he didn't mind too much. Naruto kissed the brunette fiercely, overjoyed that he was ok.

"Oh Shika I thought that…" he stuttered as the kiss broke.

"Don't worry Naruto, I'm fine now thanks to you." Shikamaru replied, his normal confidence back now. He knew that Naruto truly cared about him now. He had a shot at least. That was enough for now. He reluctantly pushed the nude blonde off of him and stood up. "Why don't you get dressed Naruto and we can go have that picnic? I'll go get your swimsuit while you're changing."

"Ok, thanks Shika." Naruto replied, blushing at his exposure. By the time Naruto had changed, he found that Shikamaru had retrieved his speedo and changed out of his own swim trunks. '_Wow he's fast, I wonder if he's that fast in anything else…_' Naruto grinned at this thought. Shikamaru was definitely winning at the moment that was for sure.

"Ready to go?" Shikamaru asked as he walked up to the blonde. Naruto nodded and followed after the genius, dirty thoughts crossing his mind the entire time.

Shikamaru led Naruto to his favorite cloud watching spot. It was a verdant meadow near the lake. As the wind blew, the entire field seemed to be one gigantic wave of green, truly a captivating sight. Naruto squealed happily and ran ahead of Shikamaru, his innocent inner-self coming to the surface briefly. When he was done rediscovering himself, Naruto jogged over to where Shikamaru was setting up. He had hidden the food there earlier in anticipation of his date with Naruto. Shikamaru pulled, what else, ramen from the basket he had brought along. Naruto squealed again in delight, Shikamaru really did know how to please him, in more ways than one. After the two had eaten, Naruto curled up next to Shikamaru, his head on the other boy's chest. Shikamaru looked down at him and smiled, then he gazed up at the azure sky. It reminded him of Naruto's eyes. He looked down again to find that the blonde had fallen asleep. '_Well that was quick_.' Shikamaru smirked and wrapped his arms around the sleeping boy. It didn't take long for the genius to drift off to sleep in the arms of the one he loved.

* * *

Naruto woke up to find a roaring campfire in front of him. He sat up quickly, wondering where the hell he was. This definitely wasn't the meadow he had fallen asleep with Shikamaru in. From what he could guess, he was somewhere deep in the woods. Where was Shikamaru? He was startled by the sound of footsteps behind him. He could vaguely make out the outline of someone standing just outside the firelight.

"Oh, you're awake. Took you long enough. You sleep like a log." came a soft voice out of the shadows. Naruto instantly broke into a cold sweat, he knew that voice. The figure stepped fully into the firelight, his red Sharingan eyes glowing, his cloak fluttering faintly in the wind.. Itachi. Well, mystery solved as to who was lurking around the woods.

'_FUCK! He's caught me and now he's gonna kill me! What if he killed Shika… No! I won't think that. Even Itachi wouldn't…would he_?' "Where is Shikamaru?" Naruto yelled as he got to his feet and into a defensive stance.

"That kid you were sleeping with? He's fine, I didn't touch him. Probably wondering why you left him right now." A small smirk appeared on the missing-nin's otherwise unreadable face.

"But why… why didn't you just kill both of us and take Kyuubi? You've never shown any restraint in killing before." Naruto was surprised when a hurt look flashed across Itachi's face for the briefest of moments.

"Naruto… I'm not here for Kyuubi. Akatsuki doesn't know where I am. Hell, even Kisame has no clue where I went."

"What do you want then?"

Itachi deactivated his Sharingan and stared right into Naruto's eyes. Cerulean orbs met dark pools of onyx. "I'm here for you." he whispered as he quickly crossed the space between them and embraced the surprised blonde. "Ever since I first saw you, I've felt drawn to you. Your alluring eyes with their sparkling mix of emotions. Your angelic laugh that's so infectious and cheers people up. Your golden hair that glows like the sun. Your dazzling smile that warms people's hearts. Even mine." He spoke these last two words right into Naruto's ear, drawing shivers from the blonde at the feel of his breath.

'_He sounds so sincere…and it really did look like he was telling the truth. It's those eyes, they're just like Sasuke's…I get lost in them so easily. They're so deep…'_ "Ok so let's say I believe you. What exactly are you planning to do with me?" he asked slowly.

Itachi took a step back and looked into the blonde's eyes again. '_Damnit I can't… he's just too innocent._' "Nothing if you don't want me to. I've been watching you for so long, ever since I figured out that I'm in love with you. I saw you with that other boy so I knew you liked guys. I figured I'd never get a better chance to talk to you, so I took it. I won't force you to do anything with me." Itachi pouted as he looked down at the boy. That's right THE Uchiha Itachi, famous missing-nin, mass-murderer, Akatsuki member, and all-around psychotic badass; was pouting.

Naruto giggled as he saw this, causing Itachi to raise an eyebrow in question. "Nothing, it's just that you look so cute when you pout. And it proves to me your sincerity. I believe you really do love me, strange as it is. I don't love you, but maybe I could learn to. At the very least I can forgive you for what you've done in the past." He looked up at the older boy shyly before pulling him down into a kiss. Itachi's eyes widened in surprise, he hadn't expected his affections to be returned. Naruto could feel the warmth radiating from the older Uchiha and it sent his hormones into overdrive. He began to get hard, dirty thoughts filling his mind. (Hooray for hormones, they make Naruto slutty!)

"Itachi…" Naruto whispered as he broke the kiss. "I want you."

"What?" The missing-nin looked at him questioningly, not sure exactly what the kitsune wanted.

"I want you inside of me Itachi. I don't know why and I don't care, I just know that I want it. Please…" It was Naruto's turn to pout this time.

Itachi tried not to melt at the sight of Naruto begging for sex. It didn't work. He felt his legs turn to jelly and he actually fell backwards onto his ass. Naruto smiled down at him and jumped into his lap, nuzzling his neck while he purred. Itachi let out a low moan and allowed Naruto to continue.

"**Kit, what the HELL do you think you're doing?!? What about the contest!?!**" Kyuubi's voice boomed inside Naruto's head.

'_Damnit Kyuubi, do you always have to ruin my fun? I'm never gonna get any with you around. I can do this with Itachi, he's not in the contest and no one will know. I really want this and I know you would love to watch you perverted old fox so just shut up and enjoy the show!_' Naruto ended his rant by shutting out Kyuubi's response. She was quite surprised at how sure he was of himself, so she happily decided to take his advice and watch. He was right after all, now that she thought about it. She made some popcorn poof next to her and sat back, hoping Itachi knew what he was doing.

Itachi reluctantly pushed the blonde away and undid his Akatsuki cloak. He spread it out next to the fire. '_Not exactly what it was made for, but who cares._' he thought as he turned to face his love. Naruto pounced and landed on Itachi's chest, forcing the Uchiha onto his back. Naruto tore off his shirt and revealed Itachi's firm, toned chest. His skin was the color of ivory and oh so smooth. Naruto gasped at the sight, Itachi was just so beautiful. Who knew homicidal maniacs could be so sexy? Itachi had had enough. No way was he going to be uke now that Naruto had accepted him. Uchiha's were seme, that's just how it was.

Itachi quickly reversed their positions, now it was Naruto's turn to have his shirt ripped off. Itachi did the same to Naruto's pants, leaving the blonde in only his orange boxers. Boxers which held a very large bulge. Itachi ground his hips into the boy, enjoying the feeling of his erection rubbing against Naruto's. He took one of the blonde's pert nipples into is mouth and bit down on it softly while he fingered the other, earning a groan of pleasure from the boy. He proceeded to kiss, lick, and bite just about every bit of skin he could find on the boy, determined to leave plenty of marks.

"Ah Itachi…" Naruto gasped as he bucked up into the older boy during the ordeal, sending waves of pleasure through them both. Naruto pushed Itachi off and removed his own boxers. He then laid back and shot the other boy a pleading look, just asking to be fucked.

Itachi took in the sight, Naruto splayed out before him, practically begging for him. The firelight accentuated the boy's tan skin and set his hair aflame, making him look like some sort of gorgeous bronze god out of a dream. He couldn't take it anymore, he had to take the boy now. To get inside his love, become one with him. But what would he use for lubricant? He didn't have anything with him to serve that purpose. '_I think I know something that will work_.' Itachi grinned evilly at the thought. He lowered his head slowly to the blonde's pulsing member, and took it into his mouth slowly. He sucked on the head gently at first, delighting in the taste of his lover's pre-cum. Without warning, he took Naruto's entire length into his mouth, lavishing the underside with his tongue while he continued to suck the head.

During all of this Naruto had watched the Uchiha intently, waiting to see what he would do next. When Itachi had taken him into his mouth, he had thrown back his head and cried out, amazed at the sensations overtaking him. No one had ever made him feel like this. He was wondering how exactly this had happened when he noticed that the warm mouth had left him. He looked down disappointed, but was immediately satisfied once again when Itachi began to stroke him intensely, his eyes meeting the brunettes' as he worked. Naruto came suddenly, shouting his lover's name as he did so. He spilled his essence all over Itachi's hands and watched in awe as the Uchiha lapped some of it up.

"You taste good." the brunette said with a smirk as he captured Naruto's lips once again, allowing him to taste himself. "Now Naruto, take off my pants." he ordered huskily, he couldn't wait much longer. The blonde complied and soon enough Itachi's own hardened cock was free from its prison. Itachi smiled at the hungry look in Naruto's eyes, he could tell Naruto wanted to return the favor. "Not this time Naruto." he whispered as he wrapped his cum-covered hands around his hardness. He lubricated himself fully, making sure not to miss a spot. Naruto gasped in awe at this unexpectedly hot sight, Itachi was using him for lube!

"Guhhhh Itachi!" Naruto moaned, overwhelmed by this.

"Something wrong?" Itachi asked, worried.

"You! You're just too fucking hot! Plow me already will you?" Naruto cried, surprised at his own lewdness.

Itachi snickered at the boy's impatience, but decided to do as he asked. He couldn't hold out much longer himself either. He positioned himself at Naruto's entrance, waiting for the ok from the blonde. He took the glare he was receiving as the permission that it was. Tired of moving slowly, he thrust himself into his love roughly, almost coming despite himself as Naruto called out his name in a throaty, pain-filled voice. Naruto thrust against him, wanting him to move. Itachi obliged happily, pulling out and jamming himself back in. He hit Naruto's special spot, causing the blonde to shriek in blissful agony.

"Itachi…why didn't… why didn't you kidnap me sooner? This… fucking amazing!" Naruto managed to get out in between ragged pants.

"I know. God you're so tight around me. It feels like your body is trying to trap me here forever." Itachi moaned as he continued his furious thrusting. He grabbed Naruto's penis, now fully hard again, and began to jerk him off roughly. Naruto pulled the raven-haired shinobi in for a passionate kiss and they came simultaneously, screaming into each other's mouths.

Naruto gave one last thrust to Itachi before passing out, completely exhausted. Itachi smiled at his little kitsune, marveling at how adorable he looked when he slept. He pulled himself out of the blonde and grinned in amusement as his essence trickled slowly out of Naruto's rear. "That sure was better than I ever imagined." he whispered to the sleeping blonde, immensely grateful that he had allowed them this chance. He cleaned them both up as best he could, then carried the sleeping blonde home and laid him in his bed. On his way out, he left a note on the kitchen table telling the boy how to find him again. Stealing one last glance at his sleeping love, Itachi leapt out into the night, truly happy for the first time in his life.

* * *

Reviews are appreciated. And also required for me to post the next chapter. Evil aren't I?


	7. Chapter 7

Well after a long time, I've decided to continue this story. You people who pestered Ukeboi into pestering me to finish it did a good job. This note is just to let everyone who has the story on alerts know that I'm updating again and it will be replaced by an update within a few days. After that, this story lives or dies by reviews as it says in the summary. Oh by the way, some of the previous chapters have been edited and lengthened, so it may be worth your while to reread them. Ja ne!


End file.

Naruto, Humor, Romance