Sailor Moon Sexy is Back

"Man, that battle last night was intense!" Lita's green eyes glittered excitedly. "I haven't seen that much action in years!"

Serena groaned. Their latest enemy was very well seasoned and specifically trained to fight them. The battle had lasted all night, ending when the first red rays of sun peaked out from behind Tokyo's towering buildings. The girls had gotten home around 5 a.m. Tuxedo Mask hadn't shown up and Serena had not had more than eight hours of sleep in the past week.

"That monster was the toughest we've ever fought. With all this extra practice our strength should increase tenfold!" Lita continued animatedly.

"Let's not over do it, Lita. I hope that was the last confrontation for this week. I'm in major need of some sleep," Serena moaned.

"Sere, you're always such a party pooper! Let's go to the arcade. That usually ruffles you up a bit."

"Well…" Serena's parents were out of town, and she had promised Lita an afternoon of fun before the battle had stolen her few precious winks of sleep last night. And Serena liked to keep her word, plus she definitely didn't want the party-pooping reputation that she knew Lita would rub in her face. "All right."

"Great, come on!" Lita grabbed Serena's slender wrist and hauled her down the street to the arcade. Serena put up no resistance, other than trying not to fall on her face.

Both girls were greeted by the sharp 'ding' of the bell on the door. Lita then joined Andrew behind the counter. "Can you get Sere here, a hot drink. I think she's going to fall over in a sec."

"Sure," Andrew's head swiveled around, catching the sunlight as it hit his blonde hair, dazzling Lita. Serena was too tired to notice, and downed the whole cup of chocolate he had given her.

"Hey Andrew, can you come help me with this game?" Lita called seductively.

He grinned and trudged over to where she was sitting. He knew all about her crush on him. Though he did have a steady girlfriend, it was nice to have someone who liked him like that all the same.

"Well, well, looks like we have a droopy Meatball head," Darien called out from a nearby corner booth.

"I don't have time to fight with you today," Serena stated as she plopped into the seat beside him. He looked slightly shocked, but she didn't seem to notice.

Lita and Andrew sat down in the seat across from them. Lita struck up a conversation and everyone but Serena joined in, the comforting lull of their voices making it so she couldn't keep her eyes open.

Darien looked down, suddenly surprised that Serena's head had fallen upon his shoulder. Her impeccable face was at peace, eyes closed. He admired her well-defined features, the shape of that face, the tiny nose and plump lips. He'd never noticed what a cute girl she was before. Probably because she was younger than he, and always fighting and disagreeing with whatever he said, though they had been getting along better lately. Her bright blonde hair drifted over his shoulder and onto his lap. He continued with the conversation as he idly played with her soft tresses.

He felt caught off guard with this sudden intrusion on his private space, but surprisingly, he liked it. He enjoyed sitting in the corner, sipping his mocha coffee, studying her from afar. He was glad to remember that she wasn't 'like all the other babbling girls.' He glanced across the table at the legendary Lita, eyes gleaming in the sun and laughing at Andrew's lame jokes. Then he realized that all the other booths were full.

'Is that why she came over here?' a loud comment cut off his ponderings.

"No mama, I don't want hot dogs today," Serena muttered abruptly in her sleep. Everyone in the booth sat stock still for a moment. Then burst out laughing.

"I can't believe she said that!" Andrew said.

Lita was far less surprised. "She talks in her sleep all the time at sleepovers," proceeding to tell the laughing boys about the time Serena started trying to attack the bedpost.

"That's where that big bruise over her eye came from!" Darien said with sudden certainty and amusement. 'You Meatball head,' he thought looking down at the sleeping girl.

"I will save you space cadet, never fear!" Serena said firmly, drooling with the last 'r' in fear.

"_Eww_!" Darien wrinkled his nose, feigning disgust. He actually thought she was angelic sleeping there as well as quite amusing. He thought this perfect to use later to mock her. She felt so shockingly comfortable, like she'd been on his shoulder before.

"Space cadet," Andrew gasped, tears of mirth flowing down his cheeks.

"Shhhh…" Lita placed a finger over his lips. She pointed at Serena, tossing and turning, shifting her position on Darien's shoulder. She finally settled into the crook of his arm, now fully on his lap.

Darien just sat there, not knowing exactly what to think. His arm now draped numbly across her body, aware of every graceful curve.

'This could be bad' he finally realized, his hand unconsciously stroking the exposed skin of her waist. His body felt on fire, the sensation pulsing up his arm and down to his groin. He had never been this close to her, never seeing such a portrayal of innocence or sex appeal as he was seeing in that moment. He was in trouble!

"Tuxedo Mask, kiss me. No, don't leave! Tuxedo Mask, I'm Sailor Moon!" Serena began in a seductive whisper then rising to a loud crescendo.

Andrew ceased making any sound, his voice trailing off. His laughter so hysterical that he had to depend on Lita to keep him upright. Several other people in the booths and the consoles closest to their group were pointing and laughing as well. Lita and Darien didn't make a move.

'I hope no one heard that!' Lita's mind raced, ignoring the fact that the buzzing crowd around her was waiting for Serena to say something else.

'I really hope no one believes it! Sere, you poor Meatball head, you're giving away Tokyo's best kept secret!'

'She knew! No wait, there was no way, she couldn't be Sailor Moon.' Darien's self-control was put to the test, just keeping his muddled body in check.

'I wish she'd quit moving around!' he thought as her limp wrist hit the inside of his thigh. 'Oh, that's very bad! Why am I just sitting here?'

"Tuxedo Mask! Take off your mask, I love you!" Serena had thrown herself across Darien's lap. She was stroking his jaw line, begging him -- Tuxedo Mask -- to reveal himself to her. He was suddenly acutely aware of how close those perfect rose-red lips were to his...so inviting and... He violently snapped himself out of it, straining to focus on the people laughing around him.

When Lita, finally realizing everyone was hysterical over the idea that Serena could ever be Sailor Moon, relaxed. She witnessed the confusion on Darien's face. She finally lost control and burst out with her own display of hysterics, pounding on the table with her fist.

"Huh, what is going on?" Serena yawned sleepily. Immediately noticing that there was an audience staring at her. For some reason, she was lying in Darien's lap in a very compromising position. She looked at him, immediately thinking he had done something to her while she was sleeping. About to throw an insult at him, she noticed the look on his face, something that had never been there before. She stopped, not knowing why and again looked at Andrew, Lita and the spectators.

"Hey, Sailor Moon, did you find your Tuxedo Mask?" somebody yelled.

Serena froze. How did they know that?

"Did your mommy make you eat hot dogs?"

"How's that space cadet?" The crowd roared, exploding into fresh fits of laughter.

Lita had tears streaming down her cheeks while Andrew was in a state of suspended animation, unable to move. What was going on, and why wasn't Lita protecting her? They knew she was Sailor Moon! She felt her eyes getting red and the tears welling up.

As if sensing what Serena was thinking, Lita said in between bursts of laughter, "Sere, you talk in your sleep! Who would think that you are Sailor Moon?"

Serena took a moment to understand, then she turned bright red and the wails came pouring out with the tears. She sat up, tried to slide into her own seat beside Darien (not on him), and only managed to slip.

When everyone heard a loud 'zip' and her head violently jerked back, her reflexes took control and she struck out behind her, knocking the glass ketchup bottle and the saltshaker against the window breaking both bottles. She blushed again, not really comprehending what had happened. She wanted out of there -- now. Serena, once again attempting to leave the booth, was rewarded with a sharp sting to the back of her skull.

"OUCH!" her hand went immediately to her head.

Lita, realizing if there were anymore public reflex displays, their identities could be on the line, so she took control of the situation. "All right everyone, the show's over. We'll be back tomorrow," she smiled, but glared at the few who wanted to stay and see what was going to happen next. They left with their tails practically between their legs. No one double-crossed Lita.

"What is going on?" Andrew questioned, still recuperating.

"Meatball head's hair is caught on my pants," Darien blurted out, not quite realizing he was all but shouting.

"Not for long," Serena declared, grabbing her hair and tugging. Darien's eyes got a lot bigger.

"DON'T DO THAT!" he said shakily, trying to keep what little self-control he had left. 'I don't understand! Why am I feeling this way?'

Andrew caught on quickly and his peals of laughter started again.

"All right, I'll do it." Darien grabbed her hair at its base that she hadn't dared touch and tried to rip the hair free. He tugged furiously, zipping and unzipping his zipper, but it was stuck fast.

"Hey dude, relieving some of those pent up frustrations?" someone called from across the room.

Darien blushed as he slowly realized what it looked like he was doing. "Fine, you do it," he grunted at Serena.

Lita leaned over the table to see what she could do to help. The zipper was unzipped as the result of the harsh tugging and Darien's boxers were showing through. She contained most of her giggles as she noted they were Tuxedo Mask boxers.

"Nice boxers, Darien!" bringing this to the attention of Serena. "Tuxedo Mask, eh? Guess I'm not the only one with surprises today," she smiled mockingly. This time it was Darien's turn to go bright red, but only slightly as he was trying to keep Serena's innocent movements out of his thoughts.

"Let me just try this," Serena started again. Grabbing the trapped locks of hair, her fingers briefly brushing over his silky boxers, she tried to rip her tresses free once again to no avail.

"Hey, Andrew, why don't you go see if you have anything out back to help?" Lita suggested, and nudged Andrew out of the booth and he got up reluctantly.

"All right." He walked into the back room, spitting out his chuckles in tiny bursts.

"I know!" Lita commented. "Your hair got jammed when you were on the other side of him. Maybe if you pulled your hair out straight, it might come out."

"What do you want me to do, get under the table?" Serena said sarcastically.

"Yes," Lita replied. For a moment, Serena just stared at her in disbelief. "Do you want your hair out or not?" Lita asked.

Serena rolled her eyes, then reluctantly climbed under the table, positioning herself about 12 inches away from the zipper and pulled.

Darien felt the heat of her sleepy body between his legs. He held back a groan. When he felt the physical tug on his zipper, he yelped. "No, get back up here NOW!" he said in a husky whisper. "This is just too much for one man to handle!" Darien hoped nobody noticed how heavy his breathing had become.

Serena then called out from under the table, "What's your problem? I think I got a bit out!"

Just then, Andrew came back holding a pair of scissors. "This is all we have."

Serena saw the scissors in his hand and tried to jump away, hitting her head beneath the table and spilling Darien's double-mocha all down his pants. "No, not scissors!" she screamed as Darien wriggled around trying not to shout. He didn't know if he wanted to yell at her for the spilt drink or the tugging. Just breathe -- just breathe.

"Hey Andrew?" somebody across the room called out, "isn't that Mr. Archer?" A lean man in a grey suit was walking down the sidewalk toward the shop.

"Oh no!" Andrew cried. "My boss can't see this! He'd fire me for sure!" Andrew had already been involved in an embarrassing situation with customers that had ended in a lawsuit, and knew that his boss wouldn't appreciate another episode even if his friends promised not to sue.

"Why?" Serena asked angrily, continuing to pull at her hair. "What do we do?"

Lita smiled, ignoring the question, a plan forming in her head. Andrew caught her gaze and nodded slightly. He glanced around and saw a closet in the far corner. "The closet -- hurry!" He herded both Darien and the stuck Serena into the closet, picking up Darien's backpack.

"Ow, ow, ow," Serena cried as she walked with her body bent over. "Darien, you idiot, slow down, that hurts!"

"No time to slow down, just get in there," Andrew said frantically, shoving Serena and Darien into the closet, tossing the pack in after them. "Don't make a sound!" he commanded and shut the closet door as the door chimed and Mr. Archer walked into the store.

"Hello, Mr. Archer," Andrew's happy smile lit up the room. "I wasn't expecting you!"

"Yeah. I am just here to pick up a few of the books." Mr. Archer promptly dismissed his nephew, Andrew, and walked into the back room.

"Oh Andrew, you're bad," Lita whispered, looking over at the closet.

"Yeah, this couldn't have worked out better if we planned it!" Andrew leaned on the broom he picked up as Mr. Archer walked in. Then a loud thud came from the closet along with a few harsh whispers.

"Be quiet, Meatball head."

"Stop it, Darien that hurts!"

Lita's eyes gleamed with amusement. This was going to be good!

Andrew went to the closet and propped himself up against it, "Quiet down, Mr. Archer is out back,"

Muffled clunks came from the closet. "Fine, I'll just sit here."

"It's about time!" Darien bit back.

Andrew grinned, walking towards Lita, trying to solidify the makeshift plans in his mind.

"Ow, you bumbling idiot, quit doing that!"

"Don't do that, Serena — ouch! Ugg...! Move that."

The closet was full of limbs, papers, backpacks, and a large vacuum cleaner. It was completely dark and kinda creeped Serena out.

"Darien!" she whispered hoarsely. "Get off me!"

"I can't," Darien growled. "Your hair…" He tried to tug the hair out when something heavy smacked his head, again.

"Are you throwing things, Darien?" Serena's angry voice ricocheted in his ears.

"Quiet, Meatball head. We're going to get caught!"

"Oh bag it!" Serena grumbled, trying to shove Darien's pack out of her ribs. As a result, the bag tumbled to the floor and split open. "Oh man!"

Serena tried to shove the various papers and books back in the bag, unsuccessfully. She felt something smooth and glossy and held it up to the crack in the door. "What's this?" she groped for it, bumping into the vacuum and Darien's knee. "Ouch!"

"What are you doing, Meatball head?" Darien asked, pained.

"I just found a…," Serena pulled the magazine out from under a pile of papers. "Darien!"

"SHHHH!" Darien said with urgency, hoping to everything good in the world she hadn't found it.

"What is this?" Serena whispered. Holding up a shiny Seventeen magazine, she looked on the back and noticed his name printed in the white sender's box. "You get Seventeen Magazine!"

Darien turned several shades of red. "What are you doing going through my stuff?"

Outside the closet, Mr. Archer had returned with the books he had wanted and was consulting with Andrew. Mr. Archer noticing his nephew's mischievous glances directed at a pretty girl with brown hair, the same mischievous smile on her lips. He also heard harsh whispering coming from the closet.

"What is going on here?" he demanded of his nephew finally. "You two look like you have just blown off school to go to a rock concert and haven't been caught, and it sounds like there are people in the closet!"

Andrew looked at his uncle rather sheepishly. "Well, sir..." he tried racking his brain for anything he could think of on the spot. He may be enjoying the pair's predicament, but he didn't know what his uncle would do if he found them.

Mr. Archer saw that Andrew wasn't going to give him the answers he needed, so he stalked toward the closet door.

"Shhh... Meatball head, they're coming, we need to think of..." Darien whispered, his mind already working. Why do people go inside closets at an arcade?

"AHA!" Serena trumpeted rather loudly. "I got my hair out," she said, quickly dropping her voice and stood up.

Darien put his hands on her shoulders, what to do, what to do!

"No, sir... see... It's kinda funny..." Andrew started, while blocking his uncle's path to the closet.

"AHA!" a triumphant cry came from the closet. Great! Andrew thought.

"Move aside," Mr. Archer insisted and slid the closet door open, catching it on Andrew's heel, which took a minute to move, then he opened the door wide. Everyone in the arcade watched.

Darien panicked as the light touched his skin. His brain shut itself off and he did the only thing he could think to do, he pulled Serena closer and started kissing her, placing her arms around him in a tight embrace. He tried not to moan as he pressed her more firmly to him, making his.. uh... problem worse.

Serena was surprised by the kiss, but didn't fight it, hoping Darien had a plan. She found she actually enjoyed being so close to his warmth, the soft, but demanding way his lips touched hers and the moist feel of his tongue in her mouth. He put a hand behind her head and made the kiss a little deeper. WOW! she thought and tightened her grip around him.

Light instantly flooded their closed eyelids and a man's booming voice demanded, "WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Before anyone could do or say anything, he had pulled Serena off Darien. Everyone was looking at Mr. Archer, confused for various reasons. No one answered his questions. "Well?" he demanded again -- silence.

Darien took the opportunity to step out of the closet, towering over Mr. Archer by at least 4 inches, but the man didn't lose his nerve or his presence and still held onto Serena. Darien instinctively pulled Serena out of Mr. Archer's arms and drew her into his embrace once more. Serena was surprised, but she didn't resist. Mr. Archer furrowed his brow and prepared to put Darien in his place, but was interrupted just in time by Andrew.

"Well, Sir," Andrew started, his uncle's attention now focused on him.

Please have a good excuse, Please have a good excuse, Lita pleaded silently.

"We've been having problems lately with kids going into the various closets to make out and I thought I had closed up every one, but it looks like I missed one," Andrew explained.

"Mhhmm," Mr. Archer said, considering for a moment. "All right then."

With that, everyone in the room visibly relaxed. "You should have told me sooner. I will go out right now and buy locks for all our closets so this doesn't happen again!" he stated firmly.

"Yes sir," Andrew responded, trying not to sound too relieved.

Mr. Archer looked back at his nephew, his brow furrowed, and then walked out of the arcade stating, "I'll be right back with those locks, see if you can't keep these two out of it for awhile, okay?" Andrew smiled and waved as his uncle left the shop and walked down the street.

"That was close," Lita said, getting out of the booth and approaching the group.

"No kidding," Andrew said wryly.

"What happened in there?" Lita turned to look at the couple. Darien was holding Serena around the waist and was using her to try to cover his 'situation'.

"I got my hair out," Serena said bluntly.

"Way to give us away, Sere!" Darien said accusingly. Serena didn't even notice his use of her name.

"Okay, Mr. Seventeen Magazine!" she retorted.

"What?" Lita questioned.

Serena freed herself from Darien's comforting embrace, picked up the magazine on the floor, and held it out for her friend.

Darien sweat dropped. There wasn't a way to get out of this.

Lita laughed as did Andrew. "Why do you have this?"

"I...uh..." Darien searched his brain for an answer, but came up with nothing. His brain was out of ideas for the day and he wanted to get back to that kiss...

"WHOA!" Lita said flipping through the pages and stopping at a particular page. "You're a centerfold!"

She turned the cover of the magazine so Serena and Andrew could see it. Darien's face stared back at them from a side view. He stood in Calvin Klein jeans, his black hair hanging in his face and he had no shirt on. His whole figure (except the jeans) was wet. The picture was in black, white and grey and it looked good. The bottom of the page said, Sexy is Back.

Darien blushed. Serena grabbed the magazine and uttered, "Damn."

Darien just stood there, somewhat proud of himself and somewhat embarrassed as well. At least no one had seen the funny shape his jeans took on now. He took advantage of the momentary distraction to try to make the problem less obvious.

"Wow, you never told me," Andrew said. Darien just shrugged.

"Sexy IS back!" Lita said slyly.

"You're hot," Serena stated, slightly surprised, after staring at the picture for several minutes. Why had she never noticed?

He smiled and grabbed her waist, surprising everyone. "I'm glad you think so," he murmured and leaned in to kiss her selfishly. To Serena's surprise, she helped him lessen the gap between them and kissed him as desperately as he had kissed her. It just felt so... right.

Lita and Andrew looked at each other elatedly and gave one another a high five as they watched Serena instinctively wrap her arms around Darien. They both kissed each other deeply until almost no air was left in their lungs. Finally, Darien pulled back and smiled genuinely at the girl whose crystal blue eyes reflected the same desire he was feeling. "So, I guess this means I might have to take you on a date or something," he grinned happily.


End file.

Sailor Moon, Humor, Romance