Avengers 1. Catastrophe diverted

**A/N: Well, I enjoyed writing fluffy Tonoki last time, so...here I am again. Slightly AU. Instead of Loki trying to take over Midgard after falling off the bifrost, he goes back to being a simple little god of mischief. The Avengers were brought together even without Loki's help, and somehow Tony and Loki met. And had sex. And kept having sex. Eventually, feelings for each other grew. Just a little background. ;)**

**Again, I'm sorry, To Save His Life readers! The chapter's still not working out right. I have the first half figured out, though (I think), so do you want that now?**

**Anywho... I don't own any of these characters.**

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Tony was stumped. No, seriously, he was baffled. What do you get a god who can poof anything he wants into existence? Nothing, that's what! He's been through _everything!_ Fuzzy slippers? No, Loki hated warmth unless it came Tony-shaped. Sexy tight clothes? In all honesty, that was more a gift to himself than to Loki. A hair curler for a good laugh? A good laugh that'd get him thrown through a wall.

Shit. There really was nothing. This was going to be the most awkward anniversary in the history of the planet! Or, as Loki would say, 'all the nine e realms'. He could just see it. They'd go through an entire dinner, everything fine, then at the end, when Tony'd normally give a present, he's just stare at Loki with those huge eyes that _scream_ "forgive me?" and Loki wouldn't say anything! No, Loki tended to distance himself when he was hurt or upset. So the lack of gifts would never be mentioned, and Tony would always feel guilty and Loki would always think that Tony had momentarily forgotten him.

Nope. That wasn't gonna happen. So Tony had approximately one half of an hour to think up a good present. Or else. Tony was so wrapped up in his own worrisome thoughts that he nearly fell off his chair in fright when his cell phone went off, vibrating against his thing. He grabbed it out of his pants pocket and answered, not thinking to check the caller ID. "Yeah?"

"Tony?" Oh no. It was _him._ "I'm afraid I can't make it to dinner tonight. Something came up."

On the inside, Tony was _jumping_ for joy. No more problem! But on the outside, he had to pretend to be the disappointed lover who would end up sitting alone in a fancy restaurant sipping from a champagne glass. So he sighed. "Yeah, okay, Loki. Should I wait up for you?"

"I think not. This may take a while."

"Dare I ask what takes your attention so easily away from our third anniversary?"

Loki's voice sounded tired over the phone. "I don't see how it matters."

"Okay, I get it. The deep dark secrets of a god of mischief, yadayadayada. I just - this was important to me."

Now regret was streaming through the phone. Tony really did love his acting skills. "A few...followers of mine weren't being as honest as I would like. I would rather deal with the problem immediately, before word spreads that I'm letting traitors slip by my watch."

"Yeah, okay. Go kill your traitor minions and _come home. _Seriously. It's seven now so you have 'till three to get your ass back here before I send the cops out on a search."

Loki laughed, and Tony somehow wished just then that Loki hadn't canceled. "Yes, Tony. Only two things. One, I don't plan on killing them. Just giving a nice and obvious message. And two, your little police could never find me." Tony just knew that if they had been talking face to face, Loki would be winking.

Tony let out a breath of relief and threw his phone on the desk. Disaster averted. Catastrophe diverted. Tragedy avoided. "Tony Stark saved..."

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Loki frowned at the phone he was holding. Loki found pleasure in the oddest, most sentimental things. Honestly, a fancy dinner once a year to celebrate a relationship? It all seemed rather pointless to him. Some Midgardians... Loki shook his head and pocketed his phone. He'd take Tony sight-seeing through Asgard or something equally as trivial.

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**A/N: Reviews, please. My stories seem to be getting plenty of favorites (which I am SO thankful for), but not that many reviews. :(**

**Pretty please? :)**

**Depending on reviews, I may write Loki's making it up to Tony, which would be a trip to Asgard.**


	2. Unauthorized

**A/N: Well, here it is. The "sequel", I guess you could call it. I'm sorry to anyone who's been waiting for this that it took so long. I've been busy with _A Perfectly Normal Human Family, _a good number of drabbles, and real life. :) Enjoy!**

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"Shit, are we actually sneaking into your dad's throne room? We could get in so much trouble!" Tony was supposed to be whispering, but his words came out rather loud.

Loki chuckled quietly next to Tony. "That's the fun of it, isn't it?"

"Well, yeah, I guess. But seriously, what will our punishments be if we get caught?" Tony leaned his back against a wall, looking too very much at home in the entrance to the great hall and fully embracing the concealment charm that Loki had cast over him.

Loki rolled his eyes at the excitement in his lover's voice. As he had promised the morning after their anniversary, Loki was taking Tony on an unauthorized tour through the palace of Asgard, and his former home. When he told Tony that they would have to stay under a small invisibility charm through the whole outing, he had expected to receive a bit of disappointment, but instead, Tony seemed almost gleeful. Apparently Loki wasn't the only one with a mischievous side. "There is no _if. _We will not be caught. You should trust me more, Tony." He chose to ignore the loud snort and "yeah right" that came from his left. "I doubt it would be severe. You're a mere mortal with only half the wits of Thor, and I am expected to do these things. It would be considered a crime if I didn't."

"Hey!" Alright, so maybe it wasn't such a good idea to insult Tony while they were just outside the throne room. By some miracle, the guards by the door hadn't heard his buffoon, and they were still safe. But still, they may not receive another chance blessing.

"Keep your voice down! Do you want to go home?" Tony was still fuming, but he gave a quick shake of the head and Loki nodded his approval. "Good. Then – not to be rude, but shut up and stay down. Odin should be leaving the throne room soon. We can sneak in when the doors open."

"Holy shit, are we seriously going to walk _right past Odin?" _Loki's eyes were getting tired of rolling.

"Yes! We are! But only if you're quiet and patient!"

Tony pouted. "Loki, you're making this not fun…"

Loki sighed and rubbed his temples. "You're right, Tony. I'm sorry, this is supposed to be my gift to you. Odin should be out in just a few more minutes. I'd just rather us _not _get caught before our act is complete."

Tony snickered, forgetting that he was supposed to be pouting. "Our act. You make it sound like an act."

Loki held his breath as a guard looked their way, even though he knew that they couldn't be seen. "Silence, _please_, Tony."

Finally, the mouth was shut. For about one minute. "This is taking a while."

"Have you no patience?" Loki flushed when he realized that he had almost yelled and he lowered his voice. "Odin will be out any second. But you have no idea how close I am to just taking you home and telling you to forget about this entire trip."

Tony mumbled something along the lines of "unlikely," but stopped when the large doors began to open. Loki straightened and began to walk forward, but Tony grabbed his arm, a sudden nervous look on his face. "Are you sure we can't be seen?"

"Yes, Tony. We've been standing in front of ten guards for the last thirty minutes!" Loki whispered, frustrated.

"Yeah, but this is different! Doesn't Odin have like...double sight in his left eye, being the Allfather and all?"

Loki couldn't help it. He laughed. Actually laughed out loud. Every guard stiffened and half-drew their swords, but Odin stopped them and called out, recognizing his son. "Loki?" Loki clamped a hand over his own mouth to keep his voice from carrying further. Tony smacked him on the arm and mouthed _'what are we going to do?'_ Loki only winked and made a shushing noise, holding a finger to his lips.

Before Tony's eyes, a copy of Loki himself weaving into existence before Odin. The shadow bowed respectfully to the Allfather. "I apologize, Father. I had sent a double - what you see now - to inspect your guard while speaking to Tony in his tower. He just happened to say something so amusing that my laugh traveled here through this form."

Odin raised his eyebrows at the explanation, but accepted it. "Alright, my son. As long as you aren't getting into any trouble." Real Loki rolled his eyes, but his double made a rather frighteningly innocent and honest face.

"Oh, of course not, Father. While I am the god of mischief, today I am taking Tony exploring my favorite sites since I had to cancel our third anniversary dinner. I'm far too busy to cause any _real_ trouble."

Tony hid a snigger behind his hand and snaked an arm around Loki's waist. Odin nodded approvingly and excused himself. The guards (having been watching the talk between Odin and Loki) had forgotten to close the doors and Loki and Tony easily managed to slip by them and into the throne room while the god's copy backed out of Odin's way with his hands clasped behind his back, a care-free smile on his face.

The doors closed behind them and Tony burst out laughing, his voice echoing through the empty room. "Oh my fucking god... I swear, that was -" he paused for another laugh. "The _funniest _thing I have seen in a _very_ long time."

Loki grinned smugly. "I'm glad that I could please you so," he said, approaching Odin's throne. "Now...What are we going to do about this?" he asked Tony, brushing his fingers lightly across an arm.

"What do you mean? Oh, you're not gonna - you're not gonna set a prank up on Odin's chair, are you?"

Loki winked. "I might... Do you have any ideas?"

Tony laughed. "Well, in high-school, we'd put super-glue on the teachers' chairs but I think Odin's stronger than that."

Loki smiled wickedly and a golden spark of magic traveled over his hands. Tony chuckled darkly. "Man, I wish I could video this!"

Loki leaned down over the throne and waved his hands over the seat several times, occasionally whispering something that Tony couldn't understand. He straightened soon enough and looked at Tony with a look that said, _"the deed is done." _"Dear me, Tony. It's already past ten. We must be getting home. Pepper will be expecting us for dinner." With that Loki started to walk away.

"Wait!" Tony called, receiving a quizzical look from Loki. "Aren't you going to test it?"

Loki raised an eyebrow. "If you want to test if the seat sticks, Tony, be my guest. But I warn you that your ass won't budge from that spot in any less than five hours if you do and I'm afraid Pepper can't wait that long for you. The dinner will get cold and you have to work tomorrow."

Tony didn't know whether to be more shocked that Loki had actually said "ass", or that that the sticky - whatever it was that Loki did - was going to last five hours _at the least. _Well, Tony Stark always did take surprises well. "Okay, I'm coming! Jeeze, way to guilt a guy with that Pepper thing," he said, grabbing Loki by the waist and pulling him close as he walked.

**-0-**

The next morning, Odin sat on his throne as he always did. Only, when it was time to get up, he couldn't. He pushed, he heaved, he launched - he even had a guard pull at his arms. But try as he might to move, Odin Allfather's backside was magicked to his throne and wasn't leaving any time soon. Being the allfather, his voice rang through the entirety of Asgard. "LOKI!"

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**A/N: Well, there it is. The rather (kinda) OOC prank pulled by Loki, God of Mischief. :D**

**Review, please! I was told today that I'm "like review-hungry". I unashamedly admit to that.**


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Avengers, Humor, Romance