Frozen 1. Russian Heart

**A/N: **_Before we begin I would like to express that this collection is in no way a political statement about the war. WWII was the most destructive war in human history and contained the evilest regime in history. I condem the Holocaust and every vile perpetrator. These songs are just for fun and do not mean to belittle the sacrifice given by an entire generation. I apologize to anyone who finds these songs offensive that was never my intent. Please feel free to vent any and all anger you have towards me in the reviews for all to see. If you plan on reading these out loud to a friend or family member I ask that you take a moment of silence in respect for those who had fallen, for the soldiers and civilians on both sides and the victims of Death Camps. (Silence). Thank you. I sincerely hope you find joy and humor in these parodies. –Arm Chair General _

Russian Heart (Frozen Heart)

German Soldiers:

Born of cold and winter air and communists uniting. These barren lands and frigid air has a Russian heart worth smiting.

So cut through their heart, cold and weak. We'll crush their country in a week. We'll leave their cities wrecked and bare. Split their land apart. And break the Russian heart.

Forward! Ho! Moscow! Here we go!

Forward! Ho! Stalingrad! Here we go!

Soldier 1: Dreary

Soldier 2: Miserable

Soldier 3: Stalemate

All Soldiers: COLD!

They have a strength can't be contained. We lost one, we lost ten, we lost more than a thousand men! No!

Through the cold and winter air and dreadful snow combining. This icy force has left us bare and a German heart that's dying.

We cut through their heart, it had burst. We lost our nerve and strength at Kursk. They'll leave our cities wrecked and bare. And split our Reich apart. Beware the Russian heart….

_**A/N: I just realized a grievous typo where in the note above that said I "condoned" the Holocaust. I am so terribly sorry, truly I am. The change has been made and I truly hope I didn't offend anybody or give you the wrong impression.**_


	2. For the First Time Since the Great War

For the First Time Since the Great War (For the First Time in Forever)

(Churchill)

The tide is turning, so's the war. I didn't think we could do it anymore. Who knew they had over two thousand tanks? For years I've pleaded, screamed and yelled. Couldn't they see that France had fell? But finally they're sending in their ranks!

We can invade Sicily. And Africa as well. Finally we can go give them hell.

For the first time since the Great War we can stick it to the Hun. For the first time since the Great War Germany is on the run!

Now this thank you may sound silly, but we need to let them know! For the first time since the Great War, we won't stand alone!

(Talking) We can invade anyone! [gasp] What if we can invade _the_ one?!

Imagine a force ten thousand strong, tearing down the Atlantic Wall. The picture of our liberating quest. Ooh! We suddenly get a foothold there. And march straight to the devil's lair. And on the way we can go save Paris.

But then we push on with the Russians. Which is totally bizarre. Nothing like the war we've fought so far!

For the First Time since the Great War, we can take back what was lost. For the first time since the Great War, America will help the cause.

And I know it's totally crazy to dream of invading France. But for the first time since the Great War, at least we got a chance.

(Hitler)

Don't let zhem in, don't let zhem see. Zhey can't know of our atrocities. Conceal, don't yield, hold on the shore. Zhis is one loss zhat we cannot afford.

(Churchill) We need to take it in one day

(Hitler) Hold out for one day

(Churchill) It is in our reach.

(Hitler) It is in their reach. Tell Rommel to pull back from the beach!

(Churchill) The beach! For the first time since the Great War.

(Hitler) Don't let them in, push towards the sea

(Churchill) I'm getting what I'm dreaming of.

(Hitler) Don't let zhem bomb our factories.

(Churchill) A chance to save my sinking land

(Hitler) Conceal

(Churchill) A chance to liberate this world.

(Hitler) Conceal, don't yield, push them to the shore.

(Churchill) I know it can all fail, but we need to make them pay. For the first time since the Great War. The first time since the Great War, America is on the way.


	3. Let Zhem Come

Let Zhem Come (Let it Go)

(Hitler)

Zhe flames burn bright in Berlin tonight, not a fighter can be seen. A country of death and horror, and it looks like, I'm zhe Fuher.

Zhe bombs are howling like zhe Russians in zhe street. Couldn't keep zhem out, ve vere just too weak.

Don't let zhem in, don't let zhem see, zhe can't know our atrocities. Conceal, don't yield, don't let zhem through. Well now zhey're through!

Let zhem come, let zhem come, can't hold zhem back anymore. Let zhem come, let zhem come, turn zhem back and vin zhe war!

I don't care, vhat zhe cost may be. Let zhe war rage on, nothing on earth can stop me!

It's tragic how zhe Russians made my country small. And zhose who once feared me, don't listen to me at all.

It's time to prove vhat ve can do. To turn zhe tide and zhen break through. No right, no wrong, no rules for me, no defeat!

Let zhem come, let zhem come, zhey vill burn and zhey vill die. Let zhem come, let zhem come, you'll never end mein Reich

Here we stand, and here we'll slay, let the war rage on!

My soldiers will pound zhe Russians to the ground. We're digging into to broken structures all around. And we will engulf their tanks with fiery blasts. Zhey vill be running back, vhen ve bring out zhe gas!

Let zhem come, let zhem come, and ve'll rise like a god divine. Let zhem come, let zhem come, zhis entire vorld is mine!

Here we stand, and here we slay. Let the war rage on, death never bothered me anyvay!


	4. In Moscow

In Moscow (In Summer)

(Mussolini) Really? I guess you don't have much faith in Hitler

(Stalin) Nope! And sometimes I like to close my eyes and imagine what would happen if Hitler does come.

Planes will buzz, Germans will fall with holes in their guts and I'll be over looking it all in Moscow. A pen in my hand, our tanks rolling across the land, and I'll be enjoying my favorite brand in Moscow.

I'll finally see the Red Army drive away a German force. And find out what happens to Berlin when we kick down the door.

And I can't wait to see what the Allies will think of me. Just imagine the power I'd wield in Moscow!

Dah dah, da doo, uh bah bah bah bah boo

The Eagle and Bear are both so intense, the Russians winning it just makes sense!

Rrr Raht da daht dah dah dah dah dah dah dah dah doo

Germany's tough but my boys are bruisers, so when we fight them I'll be a-happy Russian!

When times get tough, I like to dream this fantasy. Of stabbing Germany until it bleeds.

Oh Europe, would be red. And the rest of you would be dead. When I finally lead my Red Army in Moscow!

(Mussolini [talking]) I'm gonna tell him.

(Hitler) Don't jou dare!

(Staling) In Moscow!


	5. Island Hopping

**A/N:** _This song was the hardest to write and (in my opinion) the worst. Fixer Upper has a very complex structure and pacing is difficult. Some of the lines in this song are unbearably stupid but had to be for the sake of rhyming. This song may change when I think of something better but for now, enjoy!_

Island Hopping (Fixer Upper)

(Mac Arthur) [Talking] What's the issue sir, why are you hesitant about such a plan? (Singing) Is it the sea we need to cross?

(Halsey) Or is it the human cost?

(Nimitz) Or the major failure in the Phillipines?

(Mac Arthur) And though we know Churchill means well, he's always so dramatic.

(All) But there is no bigger threat than that from the Japanese! It'll take a bit of Island Hopping, and there are a few risks.

(Halsey) Like their superior navy.

(Nimitz) You must think us crazy

(Both) But we've got the resources

(FDR) [talking] This isn't about our ability to fight them!

(All) It'll take a bit of Island Hopping, a Pearl is a scar. But with this Island Hopping we will win the war!

(Churchill) [Talking] Can we please just focus on the threat of both? We have a real problem here.

(Mac Arthur) I'll say! So tell me sir, is it the distance from your lands?

(Halsey) Or that you just love Japan?

(Nimitz) Or that you want the Pacific for yourself?

(Churchill) [Talking] Never, I just want to win this war!

(Mac Arthur) Are you holding back our chance, so that you can go and rescue France?

(Halsey) Or that you only care about your own neighborhood.

(All) We just need to go Island Hopping, is it really that hard?

(FDR) [Talking] Yes!

(All) Our isolation from Europe's nations is proof we need to get the Japs! So can we just go Island Hopping, we know just who to use, all we need for Island Hopping is the support of you!

(FDR) [Talking] ENOUGH! We don't have any military to do it with okay!?

(blink,blink)

(Mac Arthur) So we need special Island Hoppers.

(Halsey) That's a minor fix

(Nimitz) The doubts we harbored lie in Pearl Harbor.

(All) And by the way we have Marines! The Marines will be Island Hoppers, they're trained and such.

(Halsey) Get our navy back on the wavesy and then all we'll need is luck!

(Nimitz) We're not sayin' Hitlers good, 'cause that man never was. We're only saying get Japan cause they attacked us first. We've made bad decisions in the past, but now, we're sure of course. Get Japan out of the way.

(All) Get Japan out of the way and then Hitler will get it next! For success we'll use the best! We'll need Marines for Island Hopping, that's what this is about.

(Halsey) Saipan

(Nimitz) Marshal

(Mac Arthur) Guam

(All) Okinawa, the islands that we have to hit. Each one is needed for Island Hopping, but when push comes to shove

(Eisenhower) We shall ignore this Island Hopping and invade France instead!

(All) France! France! France, France, France! Guam (France Guam) Guam, Guam, Guam, Guam, Guam, Guam! (France Guam)

France…

(Halsey) Do you Roosevelt and Churchill agree to send these units to the Pacific?

(Churchill) Wait, what?

(Halsey) We're invading Guam.

(All) Guam!

**A/N: **_There you have it, all the songs from Frozen re-written. Love them or hate them here they are. I again wish to stress the fact that this is in no way a political statement about the war or is it meant to insult those who died and those who survived. I sincerely hope you found at least one part of one song funny. You may expect other re-writes in the future but most likely not for a long time. Have a good one! –Arm Chair General _


	6. Panzers are Better Than Shermans

**A/N: **_I completely forgot about the next two songs. Here are the parodied versions of Reindeers are Better Than People and Love is an Open Door (next chapter). Once more for those who skipped every other Author's Note; these songs are NOT meant to insult, demean, or belittle the lives that this war ended or any of those who survived. I have nothing but the utmost respect for you and I thank you for your service and give condolences for the loved ones you may have lost. Enjoy and please leave a review.-Arm Chair General_

Panzers are Better Than Shermans (Reindeers are Better Than People)

(Rommel) Panzers are better than Shermans. George, don't you think that's true?

(Patton) No, Shermans will beat you and chase you and crush you. And you can bet your ass that it's true!

(Rommel) Oh, ho, screw you George! But Germans smell better than Yankees. George, admit I'm right.

(Patton) Fine Erwin, that's true, for all except you.

(Rommel) Good one George. Let's call it a night.

(Patton) Fine, night.

(Rommel) I'll get your ass next time.


	7. There is no Need for War

There is No Need for War (Love is an Open Door)

(Stalin) [Talking] Okay, can I just say something crazy?

(Hitler) [Talking] I love crazy!

(Stalin) All my life I've wanted to keep my country safe. Now I realize the truce we can do.

(Hitler) I was thinking the same thing! I mean, I've been striving my whole life for more living space. And maybe it's my conquests talking or the Reich I pursue.

(Stalin) [Chuckles] But with you…

(Hitler) But with you…

(Hitler) I see more space…

(Stalin) I can keep safe…

(Both) This is a truce like we've never heard of before! There is no need for war! There is no need for war! There is no need for war!

(Stalin) With you.

(Hitler) With you.

(Both) There is no need for war…

(Hitler) I mean it's crazy…

(Stalin) What?

(Hitler) We each have similar-

(Stalin) Sandwiches!

(Hitler) I meant governments but fine!

(Stalin) I've never met someone-

(Both) Who treats people the same! Kill! Kill again! Our armies' mobilization means mutual decimation

(Hitler) You-

(Stalin) And I-

(Hitler) Were-

(Stalin) Meant-

(Both) To have peace!

(Stalin) Say goodbye…

(Hitler) Say goodbye…

(Both) To the wars of the past we don't have to fight them anymore! There is no need for war! There is no need for war! I can gain so much more!

(Stalin) From you!

(Hitler) From you!

(Stalin) From you!

(Hitler) From you!

(Both) There is no need for war…

(Stalin) Can I ask you something crazy?

(Hitler) [Chokes]

(Stalin) Are you going to invade my country?

(Hitler) Can I say something even crazier? Yes!

(Stalin) Great! Wait what?!

(Hitler) Barbarossa bitch!


	8. Do You Want to Fight the Nazis?

Do You Want to Fight the Nazis? (Do You Want to Build a Snowman?)

1939

(Chruchil) Switzerland? (Knocking) Do you wanna fight the Nazis? Kinda in trouble here. You don't use your army any more, what is it for, you're just acting so weird. I know you have all the money, and would rather not, I just wish that you would try! Do you wanna fight the Nazis? It kinda has to be the Nazis.

(Switzerland) Go away Winston!

(Churchil) Okay, bye…

1942

(FDR) (Knocking) Do you wanna fight the Nazis? Preferably the Japanese. I think your neutrality is overused, is this ruse, so you can save the day? (Hang in there France!) It gets a little lonely, on this ocean front, just watching the islands slip by- (Explosions)

(Orchestral)

1945

(Hitler) (Knocking) Switzerland? Please, I know you're still here. I am hoping that you care. I say "hold the line" and I'm trying to, I need help from you, just help me win. I only have your country, everyone one hates me, so what are you gonna do? …Do you wanna fight the Nazis?

**A/N: **_What's this, another song? Totally forgot about the second favorite song in this movie. I know it said complete but it hasn't been right till now. I sincerely hoped you enjoyed these parodies and please leave a review. I know I've basically beaten this notion like a dead horse (morbid) but I cannot stress how much this is NOT an insult to those who served and those who survived the deadliest, costliest, most destructive war in human history. If I have peeked your interest in to the subject then I encourage you to learn more about the actual event. Plus it might help you get some of the jokes. Just saying. Anyway, until I decide to rewrite more songs that you hold dear to your mouse ear hat wearing hearts (morbid), I bid you ado and wish you all luck in all future endeavors (unless it's a crime you are going to commit, in that case I wish you bad luck. Fail, fail darn you!) Till next time! –Arm Chair General _


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Frozen, Humor, Parody