Teen Titans 1. Fire

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

It had started a little over a month ago. I'm lying haphazardly between my bed sheets, naked, with an equally naked Beast Boy wrapped around me. It had started with a kiss in a secluded room. Then it had turned into roaming hands during rendezvous' in dark corridors. Then it turned into _this_. No matter how many times _this_ happened in the last week alone, we still haven't told anyone.

Surprisingly Beast Boy can pull-off discreet. He would make jokes, I would make my regular dry replies that bordered on insulting; and no one else on the team was any the wiser. We could be actors if we ever wanted to retire from being heroes.

For someone as careful with her emotions as I am, I certainly enjoy sex, **a lot**. Like a good work out that loosens up the soreness in my muscles, my emotions are always more tempered and more easily controlled after sex.

The actual sleeping that comes along with sleeping together is good too. The moment after we reach climax, and we are tired and spent Beast Boy often sinks into a deep sleep, but only after he's draped himself over me. I don't tell him how I always sleep best when he stays the night. He might get the wrong idea.

Right now I feel his head shift to rest on my shoulder. His breath draws back and forth across my neck and it tickles a little, but I'm falling asleep fast now and I barely notice it.

"Wanna get dinner?"

My body jerks at the sound of his voice. He never talks after sex. It's a simple screw, sleep, and then slip away system we've developed. Why is he talking? Why is he asking about dinner?

"What? Do you mean right now?" My voice sounds raspy.

His face moves from side to side against my shoulder, "No, tomorrow. At 7?"

I should have taken a moment to think about his question. I should have been taken aback, I should have realized the implication; but Beast Boy's arm is fitted against my waist and his body is warm against my back, and the sleepy satisfaction that radiates off him mingles with my own.

"Sure." I respond. I feel his chin tap my shoulder a few times in what could have been a nod.

It isn't until I wake up the next morning that I realize that the guy I've been screwing senseless the last few weeks has asked me out.

Shit.


	2. Flicker

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

I may not be one for melodramatics like Starfire, but I am tempted to scream into my pillow. I am dumb, so dumb to believe that I can sleep with Beast Boy and not encounter this problem.

Pulling myself out of bed, I consider my next move. I have to go tell him no. Tell him I changed my mind, or that I had forgotten I had promised to do something with Cyborg or Star, or even Robin. Beast Boy would understand, he always understands.

Then he would just ask me out again some other time. Beast Boy is persistent in anything he wants. If he can work at Meaty Meat to earn the money for a moped, he can easily chase after me until either I give in or I maim him.

I decide I need a shower. I summon a towel and my bath robe from the closet and make my way to the communal bathroom. I'm fortunate; it's empty, so no one to intrude on my brooding time. I start the water and wait for the steam to swirl in the air before I step in.

I have to tell him the truth. That I don't want to date him and if that means never sleeping together again, then so be it. I sigh and reach for the soap. That would suck, never sleeping with him again. I scrub at my arms. It isn't just because the sex is that good; it's that the sex is with Beast Boy. I don't have feelings for him, I simply don't, but he has wormed his way into the softer part of my affections.

It had taken a few years, but Beast Boy is now one of my closest friends and a fellow hero-in-arms. How many times have we saved each other's lives? How many times have we survived against tremendous odds together? Trust and respect is ever present between us, always, even when I smack him for being stupid, or when he calls me a stick-in-the-mud.

My arms turned red from the scrubbing, so I switch my attention to my legs. I don't want to hurt Beast Boy. I've seen him rejected and betrayed by plenty of people who he had feelings for. My name will not be on that list. Not ever.

I refocus my attention to my hair as I have now turned all of my limbs a rather angry red. I'll go to dinner, but only after making it explicitly clear that it is a dinner between friends. He might still feel stung, but at least he'll know that I'm still his friend; that I actually do care.

I finish, turn off the water, and grab my towel. Once I am dressed, I'll go look for Beast Boy, the sooner this conversation is over with the sooner we could get past it. I step out of the bathroom and of course, he's there.

"Hey Rae, you done with the shower?" He looks half asleep, probably just stumbled out of bed. I wonder how early he must have woken up to sneak out of my room.

"Obviously," I gesture to the bathrobe.

"Cool." He takes half a step forward, then pauses and looks at me grumpily. "Can I get in then?"

I'm not moving. He's here; I'm here, might as well get this over with.

"Listen, Beast Boy about dinner…"

"Aww man, not you too." He whines, and I expect he already knows what's coming. I open my mouth to continue, but he lets his head fall back and gives out a frustrated sigh before he returns his attention to me.

"Alright, who told you? Cyborg? Just because he doesn't want to go doesn't mean that he should go around and tell other people not to go."

I have no idea what he's talking about.

"What are you talking about?"

He goes on a rant. "I've already asked everyone in this stupid tower if they wanted to try this new vegan place that's opening tonight with me, because let's face it going to a grand opening by yourself is pathetic and lonely, but no one wants to go! Including you! I bet Cyborg talked you out of it? What did he say?"

"Nothing," I reply.

He doesn't want a date; he just wants to go to dinner, and I'm his last resort. I don't have to reject him.

Beast Boy looks surprised, "Then, wait…what?"

"I was only going to ask if I can wear jeans. I don't like dressing up."

He laughs and then he hugs me. Which is rare, because the only time we intentionally touch is when we're having sex, or on the rare occasion where I've done something like defeat an intergalactic demon and save the world. One tight squeeze and he's done. He has a bright smile on his face that nearly blinds me.

"Dude! You can go naked for all I care!"

I move out of his way, "Jeans it is."

As he moves past me I hear him chuckle, "Shame, naked is better."


	3. Smolder

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

Dinner sucks. Well the food does, everything up until now can actually pass as pleasant. Beast Boy holds back on his jokes, and even though the waitress recognizes us, she's nice enough to not make a big deal of it.

I push my sad attempt at a salad away from me. Beast Boy's poking at his plate, but he hasn't eaten anything off of it.

"Pizza?" I offer.

"Pizza." He nods.

With a wad of cash and a note to the waitress we're out of there.

"Don't tell Cyborg about this okay?" Beast Boy asks me once we're outside.

I find it funny that he has to ask me to keep a secret.

"Tell who about what?"

He catches my smirk and smiles, "Thanks Rae."

I shrug as we turn the corner. Soon we're at the pizza place. When I order two slices of pepperoni Beast Boy casually mentions the list of animals who were brutally murdered to provide that pepperoni. A mysterious wind casually strikes him with his own menu. Everything's perfectly normal again.

* * *

One of us lets out a sigh. It might be us both; we lasted an unbelievably long time. My ear is right against his heart and it's beating so hard that his whole chest quivers with it. It's a little startling.

"That was…awesome." He says.

I smirk. Now I take a little pride in the pounding of his heart. I don't even mind that he's talking after sex again.

"I guess." I kiss his collarbone; hopefully he'll know I'm teasing him.

He scoffs at me, but his fingers slowly crisscross up and down my back. It's rather soothing. I vaguely wonder if he always does this, but somewhere I know he doesn't. He doesn't talk, he doesn't caress, Beast Boy sleeps; nothing more.

I should still tell him.

"Beast Boy?"

"Hm?" His heartbeat has slowed.

"We're just friends right?" I should be more assertive, but it's not in me. Besides, this isn't something to be told, it's something that needs to be discussed. It's a shame we aren't better practiced at discussing things.

His heart picks up a little, "We've always been friends, Rae."

I sigh. I pull myself up so I can look him in the eye. His eyes open lazily.

"We aren't anything more? I mean, you don't want to date me, do you?"

He laughs and sits up too. "Why would I want to date you?"

"Gee, when you put it like that…"

"Shit, sorry, no that's not what I meant." He panics and grabs for my hand. "I just, I mean, do you even want to date anyone? Because I always figured you weren't into that kind of thing."

There's a pause. I consider the one time that I did actually want that, but that was a very long time ago, and even then it wasn't Beast Boy. I squeeze his hand.

"No, I don't want to date anyone." I wish I hadn't said anything now, "I just didn't want to hurt you; if you did want to date me. You've had enough rejection."

He rolls his eyes, "Gee, when you put it like that…"

"Sorry."

Beast Boy gives me a half-smile. His hand squeezes mine. He forgives me, he understands, he doesn't think I hate him. And that is nice.

"We can talk more. After all, we're friends, and friends talk to each other."

I think we're both surprised when I say this.

"Do friends also go get dinner on occasion?" He leans forward once he shakes off his surprise.

"Only if it's pizza."

"Oh c'mon! Vegan food can be good!" I know he's right, but his frustration is fun.

"Right," I move to lie down next to him.

"Fine, I'll just have to cook something for you to prove it." He states. Soon he lies down too.

"Careful, you're stepping into dating territory." I say as he drapes his arm over me.

He rolls his eyes and puts his forehead against mine, "Friends can cook for each other, Rae."

"Just spare me the candlelight and fine linen tablecloths." I say. I drape my leg over his hip.

"Nothing but the least romantic dinners for you."

"Good," I feel his hand dip down my back and make a deliberate path across my hip.

"You know," He whispers to me. "Some friends, not all friends, but some, like to sleep together."

"Oh?" My voice comes out in a breath; his fingers find and probe the area between my legs.

"Yeah," He flicks that special spot and I jerk against him, "And sometimes they go crazy and do it twice in one night."

He needs to shut up, so I kiss him. His fingers press harder. One leg is crossed behind him, and I use it to pull him closer.

My hands are in his hair when he whispers against my mouth. "We're still not telling the others about this?"

I know he's asking for clarification, which I appreciate. But I also appreciate that if he would just focus, I might come soon. I pull him down to me.

"Tell who about what?"


	4. Blast

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

We follow him as if we're the ones who are lost. I think we're waiting for him to collapse. I know he won't. We're only walking into the Tower from the garage, but it's longer than we ever thought.

I know he won't collapse. His steps are too measured. His stare is too straightforward. His fists too clenched. Still, I can feel Starfire's anxiety course through the air, it mingles with Cyborg's concern and Robin's frustration.

I have no idea what I am.

We eventually reach the common area. We all know he's going the wrong way. He should head to the infirmary. We stop. All four of us watch as he makes his way down the wrong hallway.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Robin about to step forward. He'll make Beast Boy turn and go to the infirmary. Which is something Beast Boy should do, we need to know he's okay. We all know he isn't.

I step between Robin and his almost pursuit. I shake my head and turn. I pursue Beast Boy.

I find him in the shower. He sits on the floor, head down. He forgot to turn on the water. I don't say anything; I know better. Instead, I walk over and turn on the water for him. He flinches, it must be cold. I adjust the temperature.

I step back. I start taking off my boots and my cloak. As I look for a bar of fresh soap, I glance back. He hasn't moved.

The water is scalding when I step in. I readjust and wonder how he's stayed so perfectly still.

"Pink mist," He says.

I stare. Part of me is glad he's talking, the other part wonders if he's gone looney.

"They call it pink mist, because that's all you are if a bomb goes off in your hands. You're lucky to leave as much as a toe."

Two people were strapped with bombs today. One was a corporate suit, the other one was just a kid. Each one was on opposite sides of the city. It was a great distraction for someone who wanted to rob a bank.

The threat was that if we interfered with the robbery, he'd blow them sky high. Cyborg and Starfire went to rescue the suit, Beast Boy and I got the kid. Robin was supposed to disarm the trigger.

He didn't. He only thought he did.

Cyborg and Starfire managed to get the bomb off the suit. Robin radioed us to let us know he had disarmed it. Beast Boy told the kid that she was going to be okay. But then…

"Pink mist," I repeat.

Beast Boy nods, but doesn't move besides that. I kneel in front of him. I start lathering up the soap and applying it to his arms. He wasn't dirty, my powers had managed to save him from the explosion, but he needs it. He just does.

He does move so I can take off his uniform. We stand and I wash his back. I don't scrub him as much as rub him with soapy hands.

"Careful, you're stepping into dating territory." He says. It's a joke, but his voice is too dry for it to be funny.

"Plenty of friends wash each other." I reply. "Besides, there's nothing romantic about today."

"No, nothing romantic at all." He says.

I turn him to face me. His eyes are red and piercing. Desperate sadness pours from him. I almost lose my balance from the force.

"I told her that she was going to be okay." He whispers.

The thought that enters my head is the most un-heroic thought I have ever had. Beast Boy stares at me, waiting for me to say something. He's looking for comfort. The thought goes on repeat in my head. So I don't say it aloud, I hug him. I pull him to me and his body convulses.

Beast Boy will carry that little girl with him the rest of his life. It'll be her death rather than her life that will inspire him to be an even better than he is now. As much as this hurts him, he's here; he'll save that many more lives because of her. That is something comforting, but it's not my original thought. I hold him tighter.

Better pink mist than green.


	5. Burn

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

He's in the gym again. He runs on the treadmill for the third time today. It's midnight.

We are all worried.

Robin stands next to me. We both wonder when the stress will catch up to him.

"I can watch him tonight." I offer. Robin has been pretending to do late night workouts to keep an eye out for Beast Boy.

"I hate this."

"Hate it all you like." I tell him. I know it's not his fault. He didn't know there were two triggers, but the blame is still laid at his feet.

Is it any wonder he won't sleep unless Beast Boy does?

"Is this the part where you tell me that hating this won't change anything?" Robin sneers at me. Robin doesn't sneer at me, not usually.

"This is the part where I tell you to leave." My tone is colder than I mean it to be. "I might be able to talk him into going to bed."

He sneers again, "You don't think I've tried that? He won't listen."

"Then I'll knock him out." I tell him shortly, "Get out of here."

I glare until he backs down. Robin doesn't back down, not usually. He leaves only after he instructs me to make sure I turn off the lights in the gym. Such a weak order; he probably won't remember it come morning.

I enter, not that Beast Boy notices. I think our brief conversation in the shower last week is the most he's talked to anyone. He runs, eats, and sleeps. I approach the treadmill he's on.

"You've been running a lot." I say.

In all the time he's been running, he never shifts into an animal. Never a cheetah or a horse, even though we have a treadmill fitted for his transformations. He's always human.

"Yep!" He says in a huff. He keeps running.

"Why?"

"Gotta be faster."

I'm glad he's responding. Whenever Cyborg or Starfire have tried they've gotten the cold shoulder.

"Wouldn't a cheetah be faster?" I ask. I lean against on of the arm rails.

He actually glances at me. He seems confused that I would ask. He looks forward and ups the speed.

"Cheetahs are the fastest land animal, but they can't run for long. They can't regulate their breathing; humans can. Humans can run longer." He explains.

"Okay. So you don't want to have to rely on being a cheetah?"

"Only good for short distances," He nods, "Won't make that mistake again."

It dawns on me. With a flick of my wrist I disconnect the power cord.

"Hey!" The treadmill comes to an almost immediate halt. Beast Boy glares at me. I can take it. I straighten myself.

"That girl did not die because you were too slow." I tell him, "She died because Robin underestimated the triggerman. She died because Cyborg can't be in two places at once. She died because I didn't think to shield the bomb."

He looks at me, and he resembles a crumbling building. I move to join him.

"She didn't die because of you. She died because some guy thought money was more important than a life."

He pushes past me. He tries to plug the power cord back in. A shadow tears it from the machine altogether.

"Mature." He glares at me again.

I raise my hand, darkness shifts around it. "I told Robin that I would knock you out if I had to."

His glare falters, "Rae…"

I don't lower my hand and I step closer to him. I think I'm trembling once I'm close enough to touch him.

"I know a spell for every bodily injury you can think of." I don't know what I'm saying, "I can reattach limbs, heal broken bones, and I can even restart a heart. I don't know any spells for something like this."

He nods, but he keeps an eye on my hand. He knows all of the other things I can do. Not that I have it in me to do any of those things.

"Please, go to sleep."

The shadows subside. My hand falls. Why do I feel so tired?

"Do I have to sleep alone?" He asks me, he is trembling too.

I shake my head, "No."

We leave for my room. I do remember to turn off the lights in the gym. We fall onto my bed with our clothes on. It's almost Flash-like how quickly we curl around each other.

"Raven, when was the last time you slept?" He asks me.

I give him my most honest answer, "A very long time ago."

He kisses me. It's hard and desperate and I'm not sure who it is supposed to comfort. Maybe it's for both of us. Our cheeks turn wet from someone's tears. We both tremble as we undress each other. The sex isn't hot or passionate. Tonight it's just the thing we do together. Something that might help us sleep.


	6. Tempid

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans 

I wake up slowly. Beast Boy is still here, but I'm too tired to care.

We hadn't finished until sometime after the sun rose. We had never done that before. After the first time, we fell asleep, for all of five minutes. Then, Beast Boy kissed me, and round two started. I don't remember how many more rounds there had been after that. All I know is that when one of us finished, the other one managed to start us up again.

At the time we managed to forget.

But now I'm awake and I remember. I want to go back to sleep. I close my eyes and hope that I will.

"Rae?" He asks as he stirs.

I respond with silence. Maybe he'll go back to sleep.

"I know you're awake." He tells me.

His nose nudges my neck. I grunt at him and he laughs at me for it.

"I thought you were a morning person."

"Not today; not after last night." My voice sounds like my throat collapsed in on itself. I feel his body stiffen against mine, like I've offended him.

"I'm sorry." He whispers. Guilt buzzes around him like a horde of angry bees. My body twinges when I move to make our eyes meet.

I don't have to ask why he's sorry. "I used you." He explains, "I used you to forget about her; that little girl."

I kiss him, even though I know I shouldn't. There's a difference between a kiss for the fun of it and a kiss for comfort, but I kiss him for comfort anyway. We've already done a lot worse for the sake of comfort.

Beast Boy kisses me back. I pull away and force myself to speak. I desperately want to fuck instead.

I tell him I used him too. I tell him about how I want to use him again, right now. I tell him that he isn't the only one who wants to forget and that he's selfish for thinking he was the only one. I tell him that it's easier to let him be selfish then face my own feelings. I tell him a lot of things; even about my most unheroic thought.

When I confess that, he doesn't stare at me in horror like I thought he would. He's only surprised. He touches my hair and tells me that he's sorry for being selfish. He says he's sorry for being a shitty friend. I tell him that he hasn't been. He says he'll do better anyway.

We stare at each other. I feel empty now that we've told each other all of this and so does he.

"How angry do you think Rob is that we weren't at practice this morning?" He asks me after a while.

I'm glad he's saying something. "Very."

"Do we care?"

I smirk, "Not at all."

He chuckles, "That's what I thought."

"Are we going to get up anytime soon?" I ask him.

"Nah," He says, "moving would suck."

"If we wait any longer, it'll suck more." He ignores this.

"I like this whole laying-in-bed-all-day thing. It's nice."

"Don't get used to it," I tell him as he puts his head on my shoulder, "I'm only doing this because you're sad."

"Whatever, you're sad too."

I shrug even though he's right. He kisses my shoulder, just because it's there to kiss.

"It's nice that we can be sad together." I say.

He kisses my shoulder again.

It's not until the next day at breakfast that the others see us again. Starfire's exuberant over our return and Cyborg is oddly quiet. As we expected, Robin tries to harp on us before we get the chance to reach the kitchen.

"Where the fuck were you two?"

I find his choice of words amusing, though I vaguely wonder how he didn't figure out where or what we were up to. Weren't our communicators supposed to have some sort of tracking signal?

"When Cyborg said he couldn't locate your coms…"

Ah, so Cyborg knows. I glance at him, but he turns and looks at his waffles. I wonder why he lied for us.

I sit down, but Beast Boy remains standing. He takes the brunt of Robin's rant. Just as I feel Robin's anger peak, Beast Boy moves to hug him. Even I'm surprised.

He pulls back, but he holds Robin by the shoulders, "Dude, I'm okay;_ We're_ okay."

I feel Robin break, or at least, I feel his guilt break. The anger fades. Beast Boy smiles. Starfire cheers and announces that we should get pizza to celebrate. Beast Boy agrees and so the eternal argument about whether we'll get meat-lover's or veggie begins again.

Everything goes back to normal.


	7. Scorch

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans.

Today I think about the first time he kissed me. It runs on rewind in the back of my mind. We had been sitting alone and I had been healing some wound of his when he leaned over and kissed me. It felt good and it was easy. So instead of killing him when he had pulled away, I had pulled him back. I surprised us both by doing that.

I'm in the mood to do something good and easy right now. It's mid-afternoon, he should be free; I knock on his door. He doesn't answer.

But a perky brunette does.

"Hi!" She grins at me like we've been friends for years.

"…Hi…is Beast Boy home?"

She _giggles_, "Nope! Garfield went to get some water."

Garfield? I look her over. She's wearing one of his shirts, and not much else.

"Okay." I turn and walk away.

She calls after me, whoever she is, to ask if she should tell 'Garfield' that I'm looking for him. I don't answer.

I go straight to the garage. Cyborg will be there, but he already knows, so I can act however I please. I get there and see he's working on his baby. There are parts all over the floor. Perfect.

"Anything in here I can break?" I ask.

He looks up from the engine, "Um…that carburetor's shot."

Without another word, I crush it with my powers. It's not enough. I pull it apart, piece by piece and crush them all individually. I crunch them all together until they form a ball of ruined carburetor. That's better.

"Something wrong?" Cyborg asks.

He's nice enough to give me something to destroy. He gets the truth.

"There's a girl in Beast Boy's room." I tell him.

I almost add the fact that she's in his shirt and she has the gall to call him Garfield. It took years of living together and working as a team before any of us knew his real name. This little harlot uses it like it's her right. My anger reaches out and throws the ruined carburetor ball against the far wall.

"He cheated on you?" Cyborg sounds angry too. I appreciate the brotherly concern, but I set him straight.

"You can't cheat on someone you never dated." I say.

My anger fades and reason starts to return. I'm not Beast Boy's girlfriend. He hasn't made any commitment to me. He should be able to do what he wants.

"So he's cheating on this other girl with you?" Cyborg ventures.

I hadn't even considered that.

My anger flares. Tools start to hover above their boxes. Cyborg puts his hand on my shoulder to calm me down. It doesn't work very well.

"Hey Cy! Have you seen…" Beast Boy appears at the door and notices me, "Rae! Just the person I'm looking for! We've gotta-"

As he steps into the garage the tools go flying and stop just short of his green neck. I feel like screaming, so I do.

"HOW LONG HAVE I BEEN THE OTHER WOMAN?"

Beast Boy looks confused, "How long have you been what?"

I make a screwdriver press against his throat. "How long have you been using me to cheat on that girl I found in your room?"

"You think I'm cheating on Shannon with you?" He asks wide-eyed. "We went out to lunch, today, that's it."

All of my internal organs drop along with all the levitated tools. I have no idea what to think.

"She was wearing one of your shirts."

"She's what?" Apparently this was news to him.

"Nevermind," I say. "You aren't dating her?"

"No," He says, and despite being threatened by me a few seconds ago, he reaches forward and grabs my hand. "And I won't date her, if you don't want me to. That's why I was looking for you."

For whatever reason, I do not want him to date her.

"She's waiting for you." I tell him instead.

"I know. I gave her some lame excuse about water so I could come find you." I hate how serious he is. "She kissed me and while it's nice to have a girl want to kiss you, I knew I had to talk to you about it. So, say the word and I'll send her home."

I wanted her gone the instant I saw her. "Do you like her?"

"Yeah," He admits while fighting a grin, "I like her."

I decide that he should always have a grin on his face. I squeeze his hand and let go.

"You should go bring her that water." I turn my attention to putting the tools back in their cases. I refuse to look at him.

"Are you sure?" Beast Boy asks.

"I'm sure you'll get lucky, based on what she was wearing when I saw her."

"Okay."

My back is turned and I hear him leave the garage. I stare at the cement floor.

"You alright?" Cyborg asks.

I forgot he was there. I blush and reach for my hood, but all I touch is air. I left my cloak in my room. One less thing for Beast Boy to pull off.

"No."

He looks at me with concern, "Wanna talk about it?"

What's to talk about, I wonder, you saw it all, "No."

We stand awkwardly, until Cyborg reaches for one of his newly returned wrenches. He holds it out for me.

"Wanna help me fix-up the T-Car then go eat our weight in waffles?"

"Yes, please." I take the wrench and we get to work.


	8. Swelter

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans

We don't see much of Beast Boy for the next couple weeks. Things are apparently going well between him and Shannon, though, of course, I couldn't be sure. He doesn't talk to me all that much anymore. I shouldn't take it personally, he doesn't talk to anyone much. I take it personally anyway.

I let him off the hook. I knew he'd be happier with her. Beast Boy was the dating type, the commitment type. Eventually he would have been miserable with just sleeping around with me. So, I told him it was okay. The least he can do is talk to me; he could at least pretend that we're friends, even if we aren't getting into each other's pants anymore.

I try desperately to convince myself that his silence is all I'm upset about.

I made a mistake. I let us talk after sex, I let sex become an act of comfort, I let it become more than sex. I got attached and he didn't and that sucks.

I distract myself with books and even twice-a-day meditation. I spend more time with the others; especially Cyborg, he seems particularly lonely. I can't blame him; Beast Boy is always with his new girlfriend. We clock a lot of hours in the garage together, even if I don't touch a tool the entire time I'm in there. I mostly sit around and nurse a cup of tea.

Tea sounds good and I'm not sleeping anyway. I throw on my cloak and head for the kitchen. I decide what kind I'll make as I enter the common room.

Beast Boy and his girlfriend are here. They're sitting at the island in the kitchen. My eyes narrow. She must not have any clothes of her own. Along with another one of his shirts, she's wearing a pair of his boxers. Classy.

I try to turn around and leave before they notice me, but as soon as my back is turned, Beast Boy calls after me.

"Hey!" He says, "What are you doing up?"

I face the two of them. Shannon looks surprised, but also excited. Weird. Beast Boy looks embarrassed. I like that, I like that a lot.

"Tea." I tell him, "Excuse me. I didn't mean to interrupt."

I try to leave again, but it's Shannon who calls after me.

"You're not interrupting!" She says with a smile, "Please, don't let us get in your way."

I glance at Beast Boy. He looks nervous. Maybe he doesn't like the idea of his ex-sex buddy and his girlfriend chatting. I bet she has no idea. Oh, I was going to get so much mileage out of this.

"Only if you don't mind." I say as I try not to smirk.

"Not at all!" She reminds me of Starfire, the way she cheers.

I nod and approach the island where she's sitting. Beast Boy stands nearby. He knows something is up. He knows I'm not this friendly. That makes this even better. I purposely brush against him as I move towards the stove.

"It's nice to actually see one of Garfield's friends. I'm starting to think he's ashamed of me." Shannon says.

He hasn't introduced her to anyone? Not even Cyborg? What's wrong with this girl? I give him a look out of the corner of my eye as I fill the kettle with water.

"I doubt it's you." I lie and turn on the stove, "It's us he's ashamed of." That part might actually be true.

She laughs as I grab my mug. "Well, either way, one of us should be offended."

I come to stand next to Beast Boy. I align my foot against his. "Agreed, so who are you ashamed of, _Garfield?_"

A fine layer of sweat appears across his forehead. I love this game.

He stumbles over a lame excuse about how the timing is always wrong. We don't believe him.

I look at Shannon, "So he's just being lazy. Figures."

"Figures." Shannon giggles.

We continue to make shallow banter that mortifies Beast Boy until the kettle whistles. Game over. As I pour the water, Shannon asks me one more thing.

"So, anything I need to know about Garfield?"

She poses it jokingly. I'm supposed to tell her that he doesn't bathe regularly or that he picks his teeth. I can't resist.

My hand slides up his arm and onto his shoulder. I lean across the counter towards Shannon. I feel Beast Boy's body tense beneath my touch. I smirk.

"He's a great lover."

I grab my tea and walk away without another word. Ten strides away Shannon bursts into laughter. She thinks it's a joke. I chuckle because I know it isn't.

Beast Boy catches up to me once I'm in the hallway. He grabs me by the elbow.

"What the hell was that?" He asks as he pulls me to face him. He's glaring.

I glare back. "She asked an honest question, I gave an honest answer."

"You didn't have to say to tell her that!" His voice is nearly a growl, "Do you think that was funny?"

"NO! I don't think it's funny." I raise my voice without meaning to, "I do however think it's funny that you've been ignoring your best friend. I think it's funny that the girl you're spending all of your time with hasn't met any of us yet. I think it's funny how much I've fucking missed you despite how you tossed me to the side!"

I stop short. I didn't mean for that last part to come out. I'm supposed to suffer in silence, that's what a good friend does. Our glares soften and he's looking at me like he used to, before he had a girlfriend. I want to kiss him. I pull my elbow from his grasp.

"I take it back." My voice seems so small now.

He blinks, "Take what back?"

"I take back what I said. I don't want you to date Shannon." I swallow my hesitation, "I don't want to be your girlfriend, but I want to be able to kiss you and lay around naked with you and become more attached to you than I'm supposed to be. I want you."

Beast Boy struggles in silence for a moment, "Rae…I…"

"Go be with her if it'll make you happy." For some reason, I don't want him to talk yet, "If it is, I'll shut up, but you better start talking to me again, because we're supposed to be friends."

I leave. I feel better.


	9. Kindle

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans 

Cyborg laughs when I tell him about my run-in with Beast Boy and his girlfriend. I laugh along with him before taking another sip of tea. I'm sitting on the workbench while Cyborg cackles over a piece of the T-ship.

"A 'great lover' ha! How'd Shannon take to that?"

"She laughed," I reply with a smirk, "Apparently she and I differ on how good BB is in bed."

He laughs until his eye waters, "Maybe ya'll should compare notes."

"Beast Boy didn't find it so funny." I tell him. "After I left, he came after me."

"Did he flail around like he usually does?" Cybog proceeds to model by waving his arms around.

I chuckle, "No. He was very serious."

"So what happened when he tracked you down?" Cyborg starts tinkering with the part again.

"I told him to stop dating her and go back to screwing me."

His hand stills for a moment, "What'd he say to that?"

"Nothing," I look at my tea and then back to him, "I walked away before he could."

Cyborg puts down the part and turns to face me. "I gotta ask, why? Why would you want that?"

I shrug, because I know I shouldn't. "I miss him."

He holds my gaze for a few more seconds, then he nods and returns to his work. I stare into my tea.

"I miss him too, Rae."

When I head back to my room hours later, I find Beast Boy sitting just outside my door. I'm more than a little surprised that he's here.

"Hi."

He looks sad, so I go to sit next to him; we are supposed to be friends.

"Hi." He greets me back with a weak smile.

I pull my knees to my chest, "Any reason you're on the floor?"

"Because I've fallen for you."

I scoff at the joke.

"Shannon and I broke up." He confesses.

"Oh," That's not what I expected, "I'm sorry?"

He shrugs, "I'm not."

"Did you break-up because of something I said?"

He laughs a little, "Actually, it was something I said. I told her about us, everything."

"I bet that went over well." I roll my eyes and he grins at me.

"It did. She told me it was cool that I hadn't told her before."

I don't believe him, "I don't believe you."

Beast Boy laughs again, "Yep, she forgave me without batting an eye."

That sounds like the perfect girlfriend to me. "So…what went wrong?"

"She didn't throw me out of a window, or hit me, or tell me what an idiot I am." His fang pokes out, "So, obviously I had to dump her."

I give him a half-smile, "Ah, well if you dumped her that means no pity-sex."

"Shame 'cuz you know, I'm single now." He moves closer to me.

I don't push him away, "you might have to earn your way back up to sex. The last time I let you have it whenever you wanted, you got a girlfriend."

He winces, "Sorry about that."

I know he means it, so I nod to acknowledge him. He smiles at me.

"You're still an idiot." I stand up.

"I'm aware of that." His smile falters for a second. "I'm gonna work on it."

"Think you can stay single?" I ask as he stands to join me.

He pretends to sigh miserably, "No girlfriend, and no sex with you? What will I do with my time?"

"Cyborg misses his best friend." I reply. We stand close to each other.

"I guess I can go hang out with metal man." He shrugs. "We'll talk more later?"

"That sounds nice."

I lean upwards and kiss him on the forehead. He's earned that much. When he walks away, I smile. I look forward to talking, for once.


	10. Flame

Disclaimer: I do no own Teen Titans.

He visits me later that night, once the tower grows quiet and almost everyone is asleep, including me. His knocking wakes me up. At least he has the sense to look guilty when I open the door.

"You were asleep." He states.

"You were knocking." I glare half-heartedly.

He gives me a bashful grin, "It's later, thought maybe we could talk?"

I cross my arms and lean against the doorframe, "Do you want to talk because you think it might get you laid?"

"I just want to talk." He says, "Though, rumor has it that I'm a great lover."

I roll my eyes and step back into my room He takes the hint and follows me inside. I close the door behind us and move to sit on my bed. I pat the space beside me; we might as well be comfortable.

He quirks his eyebrow at me, "I was joking about the great lover thing."

"I know," I smirk, "So was I."

"That's low, Rae." He comes to sit next to me anyway. Our knees touch.

"So is getting a girlfriend and dumping her for a sex-buddy."

"I didn't dump Shannon for a sex-buddy."

I scoff. "You certainly didn't dump her for a new girlfriend; I've made myself perfectly clear on that."

Beast Boy sighs and flops backwards until his entire body is outstretched on my bed, "Has it occurred to you that you aren't the only reason I broke up with Shannon?"

It honestly hadn't. I mean, 24 hours ago, Beast Boy and his girlfriend were hanging out in the kitchen until I told him that I wanted him, then he was suddenly single. What was I supposed to think?

"I mean yeah, you're a part of the reason, but…" He pulls himself up and looks me straight in the eye, "Dating didn't turn out to be what I thought it was."

He goes on to tell me about how the first week was nice. The special attention was a big ego-boost, but after the first week it felt weird. She talked more and more about a civilian life, dropping hints at Beast Boy leaving the hero-business and moving out of the tower. He had gotten into the habit of spending all of his time with her, and even when he wasn't spending time with her, she was planning out the details of their next get together.

"It was crazy, she would call me up and ask about what we were doing two weeks away, and I'm over here like, well if I don't die at the hands of some bad guy in the next couple of hours, would you maybe like to get pizza?"

I chuckle at that part, "So, commitment issues?"

He shakes his head, "Nah, I can commit to a relationship, to being faithful and all that. It's more of the fact that I can die at any given second on the job and plans are hard to keep from the grave."

"That's rather morbid thinking on your part."

Beast Boy shrugs, "Maybe."

I notice that in the middle of his detailed explanation of his relationship, our fingers have intertwined. I run my thumb across his palm.

"You might find someone else," I say, "Someone who understands that being a hero comes first."

He squeezes my hand, "Haven't I already done that?" Beast Boy smiles at me.

I pull my hand away, "Someone who actually wants to date."

He sighs and puts one hand through his hair. "So what is it that you want?"

"I don't want to be your new girlfriend."

He sighs again and reaches for my hand. I let him hold it.

"Yeah, I got that memo, but seriously what is it that you want? Because I want you and whatever you will let me have with you. If you want us to go back to being sex-buddies without all the sentimental stuff, that's cool. If you want us to forget we were ever sex-buddies, that's cool too. I just need to know what I need to be cool with so we can be friends. Because that was the suckiest part about being with Shannon, was not getting to be your friend anymore."

I kiss him and I don't mean to. I didn't plan to at least, but here I am, my mouth against his again. It's quick and hard and I don't give him any time to respond to it. My hand is still closed around his.

"We were always friends you idiot. You were the one who decided not to talk to me." I tell him as I fight the urge to kiss him again; kissing is always so much easier.

He looks dazed, "That was pretty shitty of me."

"Yeah, it was," I agree, "Which is why I want things to be different this time."

"This time?" He looks hopeful; I tap my nose against his.

"I want to go slow, work through all these _feelings_ I have for you before we jump back into bed together, but that doesn't mean I want to date you and I certainly don't want you to date anyone else."

He grins at me, "So, you want us to be two single friends with feelings for each other that will eventually sleep together again and never date anyone, including each other?"

I nod. "I want it to be more than sex, but not a relationship either; we don't have the lifestyle for that."

"No we don't." He grins, "I'm cool with that."

An alarm sounds and suddenly we're on our feet. Our communicators start to beep. It's an emergency signal, but before we head for the OPS center, I steal another kiss.

"If we don't die in the next couple of hours, wanna make-out later?" Beast Boy asks with a goofy grin.

I grab my cloak and we walk out the door, "Careful, you're stepping into dating territory."


End file.

Teen Titans, Friendship