Pitch Perfect 1. I Come Right Back

**I'm back! Okay, so now that I am back I must say three things. First of all, Pitch Perfect is AMAZING. As in really ridiculously amazing and awesome. Secondly, Jesse and Beca are officially one of my favorite ships of all time now. Ship name please? Lastly, what I will currently be writing are oneshots, some related, some not. If you guys urge me enough, maybe I'll write a multichap though.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pitch Perfect, the characters and Everywhere, Everything by This Century. Mwah!**

"_I follow her like satellites, around and 'round she goes. She's everywhere, she's everything."  
-Everywhere Everything, This Century_

There was so much about her that he loved and hated. All her little habits, all her little flaws, he could name every single one of them and still find her the perfect human being, the missing piece of his puzzle.

There were the things he hated about her. He hated the way she would push everyone who loved and cared about her away. He hated the way she could hurt him so easily, one word was a knife in the gut. He hated the way she could be so stubborn and how sometimes she just couldn't tell that she was wrong and he was right.

Then there are the many things he loved about her. He loved the way she smiled around him. He loved the way she got this look on her face whenever she was making a mix. He loved the way she never let anyone or anything bring her down. He loved the fact that she was the only person she trusted with everything. And most of all, he loved her.

But of course, like every wonderful couple, they had those fights, those fights that should be small, but are blown totally out of proportion. It was always her that would start the fights. She just couldn't help it. It was just her nature.

She was in the radio station, stacking up CDs again. By the way she was stacking, he could very well tell she was angry about something. The station was filled with nothing but music yet no one needed to say a thing to figure it out. Something was wrong.

After at least fifteen minutes of silence, he gave up and walked up to her as she massaged her temples. "Bec, what's wrong?"

She didn't reply and just stacked the CDs into a neat pile in front of her. He let out a heavy sigh. He wasn't about to give up on her that easily. That was definitely not who he was, especially when it came to her.

"Beca, what's wrong?" He asked again, earning a look from her. It wasn't a glare nor was it a lovesick stare. It was just a blank look but he could see it in her eyes. There was something wrong and she wasn't planning to give it up.

"Nothing's wrong." She said, voice much too hollow to be her own. She knew that he knew better, but what was she to do?

"You tell me everything." He said, taking the CDs from her hands, gently prying her fingers away. She let him. "Why won't you tell me this time? You know that it won't matter to me."

"Nothing's wrong!" She snapped, ready to break. He cringed at her tone. She was pissed and he didn't know why. "Jesse, just leave me alone. I don't' need your help."

"Beca, we've been over this at least a million times." He said, running a hand through his hair. "You can tell me anything. I want to help you, that's all I've ever really wanted to do."

She laughed with no humour. "And why would you?" She asked him, her voice itself a question he could not answer. "You don't care Jesse, no one ever has. So what's the point in asking me what's wrong and telling me you'll help when in the end, it's not really going to matter?"

"You seriously think I don't care about you?" He said. He could feel his heart break. After all they had been through, after the month they'd spent together as more than friends, she could still think this. It just couldn't be, at least to him.

She looked down at her hands, tears that formed in her eyes ready to spill over. "I don't." She said, voice so soft that it was barely even a whisper.

It was quiet, only the music blaring over the speakers could be heard. They were both breaking and it was about time someone gave up, about time for someone to just walk away already and say, "Fuck it, this is too much for me now."

"I'm sorry," She said, her voice still soft. "But I can't do this anymore."

And just like that, she was out the door, a ghost he could not catch.

There was a knock on the door while she was watching Roman Holiday in her bedroom, one of the many movies he'd recommended. She just couldn't seem to let it go. Despite everything that she'd said, despite everything she felt, despite her brain telling her to stop it, she just couldn't let it go.

"Who is it?" She called out. It couldn't be Kimmy Jin, she wouldn't be back for another two hours. She half wished it was Jesse, coming to talk to her. She knew she was a fool for even thinking it.

"It's me!" She heard the familiar accent come from outside. Her heart ached when she heard the voice, just knowing it wasn't him coming to check in on her the way he always did was too much for her.

"Come in!" She called, wiping a couple of tears off of her face, the same way she had when she'd watched The Breakfast Club. This time, it just hurt a little bit more. Okay, maybe a lot more.

The door opened and Amy and Stacie peeked into the room. When they saw that she was alone, they came in, all cheery and happy and bubbly. Beca wished so badly that she could be like them, so carefree.

"Hey, we brought lunch." Stacie said, holding up a bag of Chinese food. Beca pasted a smile on her face, but it faded quickly, too much on her mind and her heart too heavy to keep up an act like that.

Stacie looked at Amy with a confused look on her face, but Amy just shook her head almost imperceptibly. They had to try cheering her up before anything. They needed her thoughts to become coherent first.

In fifteen minutes, all three of them were sitting on the floor, noodles, fried rice and fortune cookies laid out in front of them. Beca ate in silence while Amy and Stacie chatted away. They kept trying to involve her, but after a few words, she'd always return to her food and her thoughts.

She grabbed a fortune cookie and cracked it right open, hoping it would open her eyes to just how much her life sucked. She took out the small paper and read quietly, "Love is soon to come your way." She huffed. "As if." She muttered.

"What was that?" Amy said and Beca just shook her head. "Bad fortune? Worm in your noodles? It could be just about anything. This is Chinese food after all."

When Beca said nothing, Stacie groaned, just about ready to give up. "For Christ's sakes Beca, we know you and Jesse fought or broke up or whatever! We're just here to make you feel better, okay?"

Beca stared at them as Amy shoveled fried rice in her mouth, her eyes still watching her despite that. "How do you know about that?" She said rather quietly.

Stacie let out a sigh, deciding it was best if she would do all the talking. Amy was busy eating after all. "We passed Jesse on our way out of the auditorium. He looked angry, furious even. It was weird seeing him like that."

"Yeah, who knew a nerd could get so angry?" Amy said after swallowing. "But then again, you have seen him in more compromising positions so what am I supposed to say about that?" She said with a wink that made Beca blush.

Beca's heart ached even more just thinking about it. Yes, she had seen him in plenty of compromising positions and most of the time, she had joined him. Thinking it was highly possible it wouldn never happen again felt like being stabbed.

"Anyway," Stacie continued. "We tried asking him what the hell was wrong. He just kept muttering your name like he belonged in the mental ward. We figured you guys fought so we bought take out and rushed over here to take care of the damage."

Beca processed all of it or tried at the very least. She looked down again, stabbing her noddles with her chopsticks. "We had a fight and I think I broke up with him. I'm not exactly sure. I think you could consider it a break up except for the fact we weren't really going out."

Stacie laughed. "Not dating? Are you kidding?" She said, putting a hand on her chest. "Whenever you see him, you eyefuck him. Whenever you hear him sing, you look like me after an impossibly good night. You don't really need to be dating."

This made Beca miss him more and she pinched the bridge of her nose. "I appreciate you guys coming here to make me feel better, but you can't really cheer me up, not this time." She said, looking at them.

Amy sighed. "We know we can't really help, but we just wanted to calm you down." She said. "You do miss him don't you?"

Beca's heart and mind screamed, "Oh God, I miss him more than anything and it's only been a couple of hours." But the only word to escape her mouth was yes.

"Then go get your man before it's too late for you to take him back!" Amy yelled and Stacie cheered. Beca couldn't help the laugh that escaped her mouth. She got up and grabbed her jacket, feeling lucky to have such great friends.

She turned and smiled at them before she was out the door. "Hey guys?" She said and they looked at her expectantly. "Thanks."

She found him in no time. He was still in the auditorium, sitting at the edge of the stage. She came from the back, but he knew there was someone there. He could hear the footsteps echoing, but he didn't bother to check who it was. He thought it wouldn't be her.

"Lovely place to hide out." She said and he tensed, recognizing her voice right away. He didn't turn around and just kept looking forward. "Predictable but private. I like it."

"What are you doing here?" He said, voice completely cringeworthy. She didn't do anything, she just kept walking towards him slowly. "I thought you couldn't take me anymore."

"Well," She said, sitting beside him, her shoulder touching his. He didn't say anything and looked on. "It turns out I can't really hold everything in, not for long at the very least."

"Then why don't you just tell me already?" He snapped, looking at her at last. She tried to read his eyes, but there were so many emotions. Anger, sadness, hope. She imagined what it must be like for him. She couldn't.

Silence filled the auditorium once more and they both looked on, shoulders bumping each other. It was comforting to them, the way that they could feel that way, but they could still settle into those little routines and practices of theirs.

"My stepmother's pregnant." She said.

He looked at her, an incredelous look on her face. "What did you say?" He asked her, trying to see if he had heard her correctly.

"My stepmother's pregnant." She repeated in a louder and clearer voice. "That's why I'm angry, okay? That's why you can't help. Unless, you know, you can convince her to abort or something. Not that I want you to."

He shook his head, that puzzled and incredelous look still on his face. "Okay, your stepmother's pregnant. Why are you so angry about this?" He asked her. It didn't make sense to him. She should be happy, not sad and angry about everything.

"I don't want to be part of that baby's life." She confided in him. "I am not going to be it's sister. I'm not going to be part of a family I don't belong in no matter what. Not even if my father asks me to. No, just no."

He shook his head and smiled a bit. He took her hand in his and laced their fingers. "Beca, your father loves you, you know that right?" He said and she just kept quiet. "If he wants you to be that child's sister, then he thinks you'll be as great a sister to it as we both think you'll be."

"I don't belong in that family Jesse." She said, trying to focus on the way he drew circles on her hand with his thumb. It was so comforting. "My dad left me with my mother and we fended for ourselves. He can't just ask me to be some child's sister."

"This isn't about the kid Beca, this is about you and your dad." He said and she sighed. "Your dad loves you and he wants you to be the kid's sister. He's just trying to show you how much he loves you by letting him into that family, so let him."

She looked at him, eyes brimming with tears. Some rogue tears spilled out and he smiled at her. He wiped them away with his thumb. "I'm sorry that I said everything I said. I didn't mean anything. I know you care about me and that's all that matters." She told him and he planted a kiss on her forehead. "You're not angry anymore, are you?"

His smile grew even wider. "I love you." The words escaped his mouth and she gasped a little bit. "Angry or not, that's not going to change. There's nothing you can ever do to change how I feel about you Beca."

He knew she wasn't ready to say it back, maybe she never would be, but it was enough for him. He kissed her before she could say another word. And when she kissed him back and wrapped her arms around him, maybe, just maybe, it was enough to say I love you too.

**Okay, I'm sorry if it's a little OOC, but I kind of wanted to capture what they'd be like in a different situation. I think it worked. Well, that's that. I'll post a new one soon, maybe later or tomorrow. I hope you guys liked it. Please review, it would mean the world to me.**


	2. Kill Me Now

**Okay, first of all, I would like to thank all of the people who started following this. It makes me feel so good and happy all over. Second, I am so happy to know I was able to help AndreaEBus without even knowing it. When I read your review, I felt so good and you reassured me that I want to keep writing on and on for the rest of my life, whether it be music or stories or whatever it may be. Thank you so much. And lastly…**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pitch Perfect, the characters and Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional which suddenly started playing and I thought to myself, "Okay, this is perfect. I don't understand what just happened."**

"_My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me. So won't you kill me so I die happy?"  
-Hands Down, Dashboard Confessional_

Normal days, normal ways. This was what made them both glow, made them both happy. Just laying on the grass, watching clouds float by like they had all the time in the world, made them feel good. It gave them both a sense of sanity, an escape from all the classes and rehearsals, a place away from stress.

"Seriously Beca," He said while she laughed even more. It brought a smile to his face, the way only he could cause this kind of laughter to escape those lips. "Dying is so much better than torture. It's pain to end all pain. Torture will make you want to die."

"Oh please," Beca argued. Neither of them knew how the hell they got to such a morbid topic. All they both really knew was that they were somehow able to turn it into something they could base their usual casual banter on. "Torture is better. At least you know you're still alive. It's better than nothing."

He didn't reply. She could feel his eyes watching her, studying her as she stared up at the sky. It was a good two minutes before she actually looked back at him. The way he was lookinng at her sent chills down her spine, but she just laughed it off. "What, why are you looking at me like that?"

Before she knew it, he was sitting up, his soft lips pressed to her own. He was kissing her in a way that made her shudder. It just felt so good. Yet as good as it may have been, she couldn't stop thining about how torturously slow it was. It was worse than the two minutes before New Year.

She was about to deepen the kiss when he pulled away. He pressed their foreheads together so she could feel his breath on her lips. God, the things that the boy could do to her. "So is death still better than torture now?" He asked, his voice awfully husky.

"That depends." She said, trying her best not to grab him right then and there, trying her best not to embrace the closest thing she had to happiness. "Does death lead to a bed and if yes, is heaven really that good?"

He smirked and gave her one last quick peck on the lips before completely pulling away from her. She let out a sigh and laid her head back down on her bag, the closest thing she had to a pillow that wasn't Jesse's chest or stomach.

"Okay," Jesse said before tossing her a juice pouch, one that she was completely ready for. It had become tradition for them now and it was something she'd learned to appreciate. "So they're saying tomorrow is going to be the end of the world."

She scoffed as she poked the straw into the juice pouch. "What a load of bull." She said before he could continue. "If the world was really going to end and people actually knew it, they'd be handing out Grammys, Oscars and Tonys to all of us right this instant."

He chuckled at the way she had dismissed the very thought so quickly. "Okay, anyways," He continued as Beca started to drink. "I was wondering if you wanted to go out tonight, like a date. If tonight's the last night of my life, I guess it'd be best to spend it with you."

Hearing him say stuff like that always made her blush. She playfully shoved him to hide it, recovering quickly. "You're such a dork, you know that right?" She said and he couldn't help laughing a little. He knew she would say no, but he couldn't feel a little bad. He'd hoped all the same.

"But okay, what the hell." She suddenly said and this made him look at her, his eyebrows raised. His eyes were asking that question, asking why she'd said yes. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "It may seem cheesy and lame, but I guess it might be… romantic."

He gave her an incredlous look and shook his head, not able to keep the smile off his face. "Wow, Beca Mitchell, a hopeless romantic. Who knew?" He shook his head one more time. "You're so full of surprises, aren't you?"

She shoved him again, but she couldn't hold back the laugh. It would seem odd to her that she laughed like that around Jesse, but it just wasn't. It was just so natural with him. It scared her to death, but she was enjoying it all the same.

"You know I'm really lucky you said yes." He said and she raised an eyebrow. It was her turn to ask him an unspoken question. It was a little language they had. No words were ever really needed. "It'd be a shame to put perfectly good reservations to waste."

"Wait," She said, putting her juice pouch down. He couldn't help the smirk that made it's way onto his face when he'd said it. "Did you say reservations?" He nodded and she huffed. "Wow, you must be truly and extremely serious about me."

He kissed her again, this time sweet and gentle, the way you would expect a guy like him to kiss. "Beca," He whispered against her lips. "I'm more serious about you than you could ever ever know."

Before she can say another word, he's already up on his feet, ready to leave. "I have to go, I have a lecture to attend in a few minutes." He said and she waved goodbye before he walked away.

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. She could feel it taking a toll, him leaving. It made her feel so vulnerable, like those girls in sappy romance novels that she hated more than anything. It was a good feeling, but it was so new and it scared the crap out of her.

She shook her head, trying to take her mind off of it all, trying her best to focus on the night ahead instead. She wanted to make this night special for both of them. Jesse was playing his part, it was turn to play hers.

"You're sure I look okay?" She asked Aubrey once more who merely rolled her eyes at the question she'd been asked at least eight times. This was a whole new side of Beca that she and Chloe were seeing. This was a slightly neurotic but extremely excited Beca.

"God, I already told you, you look fine!" Aubrey all but yelled at her when Beca decided to check the mirror again to smooth out her hair. "Seriously, it's taking a toll on me. You don't want me to get wrinkles, do you?"

"If last season wasn't enough to give you wrinkles," Chloe said, tossing her hair over her shoulder. "Then I sure as hell don't know what does."

Beca had to admit she was initially worried that Aubrey and Chloe wouldn't get the job done and they couldn't make her look and feel the way she wanted to. But those worries faded away once she saw the two of them standing in the doorway, holding at least a dozen dresses.

Her phone suddenly started to play Jesse's special ringtone, Don't You. Chloe raised an eyebrow and she merely shrugged before getting it from her bed. She looked at the message and sighed. "Okay, time for you guys to get on out of here." She said before tossing her phone back onto the bed.

"But what if we want to stay and say hello to Jesse?" Chloe said, standing up and putting her hands on her hips. Her chin was up and she gave Aubrey a look that told her to play along.

"Yeah," Aubrey agreed, catching on quickly. "What if we want to screen this? I'm not going to let you go out with a guy who might not deserve you, Beca Mitchell."

Beca laughed but she couldn't help that small voice in the back of her mind telling her to yell that she was the one who didn't deserve him. She didn't and she knew that very well. He was just too sweet to her and now that Aubrey brought it up, the voice wouldn't seem to leave her mind.

"Okay, as much as I'd love for you guys to do that and see Jesse's face," Beca said and made a shooing motion with her hand. "You really do need to go. Jesse said he'll be here in a few minutes."

Chloe pouted playfully. "Fine but you're going to tell us every single little acadetail tomorrow or I swear to God, me and Aubrey are going to haunt you for the rest of your life? Do I make myself very clear Beca?"

Beca just rolled her eyes as she opened the door and began to usher them out of the room like a couple of sheep. "Yes, yes, you're going to know everything as soon as I see you both tomorrow. Now get the hell out of here!" Aubrey grabbed her purse and they both did as they were told.

When they were both gone, Bec a looked in the mirror one last time, smoothing out the skirt of her dress. It was miraculous to her, the way that they made her look the way she did. She thought she looked like a mess half of the time, but the two girls just worked wonders.

There was a knock on the door and she tried her very best to put a smile on her face. It was a rather unsuccessful attempt however due to the fact that her stomach was holding in at least a million butterflies. It wasn't their first date or anything, but the feeling just wouldn't go away. To her, it felt wonderful and purely hateful at the same time.

The moment she'd opened the door for him, he let his jaw drop and he had to hold the doorway just to regain balance. Her brown peephole dress which didn't show off too much, just enough, didn't fail to make him feel as if there'd been a cue to drool.

She smirked. "You going to stay like this forever or are we going to catch that reservation you were talking about dork?" She teased and he shook his head, trying to focus on the task at hand. Seeing him like that gave her a sense of success.

He couldn't help the warm smile that graced his face. It made her blush and she tried to hide her face with her hair. He reached out and tucked it behind her ear, giving her a quick kiss. "You look beautiful, you know that right?"

She didn't reply and just took the arm that he'd offered.

It'd been a perfect night, sweet and romantic. He'd taken her to a fancy restaurant. She thought he'd overdone everything at first, but when they sat down and started talking the way they usually did, everything just felt so much better.

Catching him stare at her was a plus side too.

He was walking her back to her dorm and his jacket was wrapped around her shoulders. She couldn't help but think of how much it smelled like him and how much she loved it. It was cliché of course, but she was okay with it because he was her dork.

They were quiet as they walked to her dorm room. She preffered it that way, there was just too much on her mind to speak right now. She loved him, that much she now knew. She was ready to admit it to herself. And maybe she was ready to admit it to him too.

"Well, this is you." He said as they stopped in front of her door. She returned his jacket, feeling as if she was parting with something extremely important to her. "I guess I'll see you tomorrow then?"

She smiled at him, trying her best to express how great a night she had in that one smile. "Yeah, see you tomorrow." She said and he smiled back before beginning to walk away.

She pursed her lips together and opened her door. She turned again and watched him walk away. It was difficult, having to make up her mind in about three seconds. It felt like forever. "Wait, Jesse!" She said and he turned around.

He walked back over to her and raised his eyebrows. "Yeah?"

She opened her mouth but nothing would come out. She couldn't say anything. But maybe there was nothing left for her to say.

She threw her arms around him and her lips crashed onto his. There was nothing left to say. She pulled away for a moment to open the door and he gave her a look.

"What if Kimmy Jin's home?" He asked, a little out of breath. She shrugged and the careless who-the-hell-cares-she-probably-isn't look came into her eyes. It was enough for him.

And as they closed the door behind them and shed the no longer necessary clothes, they knew there truly wasn't anything left to say.

**Seriously sorry if this isn't good but I was so determined to just put this up already. I'm half awake so I cant' really read this before posting it. I hope you guys like it though. Please review because looking at your reviews makes me so happy in ways you can't understand. Xx**


	3. I'm Sorry

**Okay, even if I've only gotten a few reviews for the last one, I really want to cry now because the last time anyone ever thought I was good at anything was… well, never really. Never mind that though, it's time for another one. That's it I guess. I really do want to say thank you though to everyone who reviewed. It means so much to me. You can't see it in my words here, but you'll never ever know how good I really feel. This one's going to be pretty different. I got this idea a while ago and I really want to do this.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect, the caracters and No One Does It Better by You Me at Six, one of my favourite songs, like EVER.**

**Warning: I apologize for any emotions that may come up after reading this.**

* * *

"_What do I do when I am so in love with you, I forgot what I wanted to say… If I just saved you, you could save me too."  
-No One Does It Better, You Me at Six_

She sat by his bedside, no longer crying. She was all out of tears. She had screamed when they wouldn't let her see him, but now that she was finally here, she didn't know exactly what to say. He was still unconscious and she was still as guilty as all hell.

She stroked the side of his face, thankful that it hadn't been damaged or destroyed. "I am so sorry." She whispered. She could feel the tears coming back. She couldn't take it anymore. She cried and buried her face in his blanket. "God, I'm so sorry."

"_Beca, please stop pushing me away." He begged and she stood there, rooted to the spot. She kept the mask on. It was always there and only he would ever see that. "I can't take it. I care about you more than I've ever cared about anyone. I don't want you to keep me at an arm's length all the time. I-"_

"_Jesse, stop telling me this!" She yelled at him and he finally shut his mouth. The people passing in front of the building stared. "I don't need your help, I don't need you to tell me that you care about me because I'm doing just fine, okay? And if I'm keeping you at an arm's length then think about it. There's probably a reason why."_

_He didn't reply. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out. He couldn't say anything. His heart was shattering into a million pieces in his chest. What was he supposed to say, that it was going to be okay, that it was going to be just fine?_

_She didn't' wait any longer and stormed off, anger coursing through her veins. She knew that she didn't need him, she knew that she didn't need anyone. So why was that voice in her head screaming at her to turn back and apologize him?_

"_Beca, look out!" He shouted and she looked to her right. Just on time to see a car coming at her._

She bit her tongue to stop herself from screaming in frustration. How could this have happened? She kept wishing it had been her. She kept wishing she never said all those things that she did. She hated herself for it. But there was no point in wishing for things like that now.

"Jesse," She laughed to herself a bit. It was a sad laugh, but thinking about him still put a smile on her face. "You should have hated me. You should have never talked to me again. But you saved me instead. God, what the hell did you do?"

She kept asking herself that. Why did he do it when he should have watched her die before his very eyes? She looked at his face again, the face of an angel, the face of the boy that had saved her and killed her at the same time.

_He pushed her out of the way before she even had time to scream. She landed on her hands, earning her a few scrapes. But she didn't care because she could hear screaming behind her and her brain could barely process a thing. She turned around._

_Blood. Blood everywhere. It was all she could see. As her vision began to clear, she saw the source of the blood. She ran to it, ignoring all the pain in her body. She couldn't care less about the physical pain she was feeling._

_She fell on her knees beside him, stroking his face. She looked up at the people and she thanked God that they were already on their phones, calling 911. She looked at his face again, tears welling up in her eyes. "Jesse, what did you do?" She asked, no one answering her question._

"_Oh my God, I'm so sorry." She heard the driver. It was a man. "I didn't see either of you. Oh my God, are you alright?" She didn't bother to look at him, didn't bother to accept an apology. He was dying in front of her and there was nothing either of them could do about it. It was no use to look at him._

_It wasn't his fault after all. She thought of it as entirely her own. She knew very well that it was her fault she'd stormed off and almost got hit by a car. It was her fault that she didn't look. She was alive and he was dying. That was all the proof she needed._

_And after everything she'd done, he'd saved her anyway._

The door behind her opened. She didn't turn around. She didn't want to know who it was. It was only when the voice spoke up did she know who it was.

"Beca, he's going to be okay." Fat Amy said. Her friend dragged a chair and sat beside her. "Everything's going to be fine. He's not going to die on you."

She didn't get it. She didn't understand. She didn't know it was all her fault. She didn't know that she was the cause of all his pain and her own. "It's my fault." She voiced her thoughts. "It's my fault he's lying here, it's my fault he has broken bones, it's my fault he's unconscious."

Amy put her hand on her friend's shoulder. "I know that's what you think," She said, trying her very best to reassure her friend. "But it doesn't really matter who's fault it is, does it? It's all done, he's going to survive. That's all that you should care about right now."

Beca looked at Amy with bloodshot eyes. She hugged her, hoping that maybe she was right.

_Beca sat in the passenger's seat, crying her eyes out. No one had ever seen her like this before. It was an entirely new side of her that no one thought they'd ever see. "It's alright Beca, everything's alright." Chloe said from the backseat._

"_How can you say that?" She snapped and Chloe recoiled. She was instantly sorry she'd done that. It was that attitude that got her into this mess in the first place. "He's in an ambulance, unconscious, dying because of me right now. How can everything be alright?"_

_The car was silent for a moment. All they could all hear was the sound of the siren of the ambulance in front of them. All Beca could see was his blood. All she could feel was his skin against hers. "Because it just is." Aubrey said, not taking her eyes off of the road._

"_I'm not going to tell you that he's not going to bleed out Beca," Fat Amy began, earning a sharp look from Chloe. "Because he might. But that doesn't really matter. You do love him, don't you?"_

_Beca froze. Did she? Did she really love him the way she wanted to and the way he deserved to be loved? She thought about it. Would she be in this car following the ambulance if she didn't? Would she have cried beside his body if she didn't? She decided and gave an almost imperceptible nod._

"_Then it doesn't matter." Amy said. "You love him, so I guess that's all that really matters right now."_

And there she was, sitting beside his bedside, praying to God that he would wake up soon. She prayed and hoped and wished. She took his hand shakily and brought it to her lips. "What the hell do you do to me?" She said, hoping he could hear him.

She looked at Amy beside her. "Amy, do you think you could leave us alone?" She said, not unkindly. Amy smiled at her, her eyes sharing sympathy, and nodded.

When she heard the door close, she took his hand again in hers and prepared herself for what might have been the most tearful confession of her life. "Jesse," She began. "I'm so sorry that I said all the things I did. You don't deserve to hear those things. You've been so good to me and I just can't take it."

"I don't know what I did to deserve you because you're just so amazing." She wiped away tears with the back of her other hand. "You with all your juice pouches, you with your sexy and angelic voice, you with your dorky but admittedly wonderful sense of humour."

She let out a shaky sigh. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that I want you, I need you in my life. You're the only person who's ever made me feel the way I do. You care about me more than anyone else ever can. You're the only constant thing in my entire life."

She closed her eyes. "And I'm trying to say," She opened her eyes, wanting to see his face as she said it.

"I love you."

He didn't' move. He didn't say a word. But she prayed he could hear hear. She felt the tears come back again and she buried her face in his blanket once more. He could hear hear, she knew he could. He could always hear her.

"I love you too." A voice said and she looked up, eyes wide and bloodshot.

His eyes weren't open but his lips were tugged up in a smile. "I love you too." He repeated and she could see his mouth move in time with the words. She laughed, a great sound of joy and covered her mouth.

He opened his eyes, one at a time, trying to get used to the bright light. He smiled even wider at the sight of her. "Wow, an angel by my bedside. I can get used to heaven pretty fast." He joked and she knew she still had him.

She didn't say anything and just kissed him softly. "I love you." He said it first this time and she giggled, a very rare sound to escape her mouth.

"I love you too."

* * *

**This is pretty different from the stuff I usually write, but I really wanted to write something new, something that could make someone feel different. If I kind of ruined your day or whatever, well, sorry. Another update coming soon. Review and I'll love you. As in forever.**


	4. Content

**Yeah, so there have been only around two or three reviews since the last one, but I'm in a really bad mood and ever so unfortunately, this is actually when I write faster if not better. Although, all those beautiful reviews made me feel so much better. You guys are spectacular and I love you guys so much. I really like to try out different moods, sometimes it's tragic, sometimes I like fluff and other times I'm into none of the above. So let's see how this turns out.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pitch Perfect, the characters and Walk On Water or Drown by Mayday Parade. I also don't own the other surprise song that you may or may not know.**

* * *

"_And then I fell into pieces and she fell into me saying, "Play me a song. It's been too long since I've heard you sing.""  
-Walk On Water or Drown, Mayday Parade_

The room felt empty to him as he lay there, staring up at the ceiling at around one in the morning. Benji was out of town visiting family and he found that he rather missed the sound of him struggling to get swords out of the wall. He let out a sigh just as he heard someone knock on the door.

He sat up and listened closer. He could have very well imagined it. There was another knock. This time he was sure he wasn't hearing things. He hopped out of bed and opened the door, wondering who the hell would be going to him in the middle of the night.

When the door swung open, she was the first person that came to mind. But he did not expect to see her the way she was. Tears were streaming down her cheeks, her clothes were crumpled and she'd walked over in a tank top and pajama shorts, only wearing a coat to cover her bare shoulders.

Before he knew it, her arms were already wrapped around him in a tight embrace and she was sobbing into his shoulder. "Whoa, whoa," He said, trying to keep his balance as she continued to silently cry. "Are you alright, what happened to you Bec?"

She pulled away and wiped the tears from her eyes with the back of her hand. She ignored his questions. "Can I come in Jesse? I don't want to stay all by myself tonight." She asked and he nodded. Kimmy Jin wouldn't make very good company, especially in her state, he decided.

He let her in and closed the door behind her as she took of her coat and let it fall on the floor. She sat on his bed, trying her best to wipe the tears. "Turn off the lights." She said, her voice both a question and a command that he answered and followed before she lay down in his bed.

He smiled to himself as his eyes adjusted to the dark. Seeing her in his bed, wrapping herself in his sheets, just looked so right. It felt right. It was the kind of sight that you could get used to at once and when things go back to normal, you forget what normal even is.

He got in beside her, holding her close under the blanket. She shivered and cried and he didn't bother to pry. He'd learned that she would tell him things in her own time and he'd wait until she was ready to tell him what exactly was going on.

He kept kissing her hair as she cried, his arms wrapped around her, keeping her safe from everything and anything that could harm her. "It's okay Bec," He said and kissed her hair once more. It smelled like her coconut scented shampoo. "Everything's going to be fine. I'm right here."

Those words calmed her down. Yes, he was there with her. Everything was going to be fine. He'd always be there for her and that she knew well. "Jesse," She said, her voice no more than a whisper in the night, the voice of a ghost who could slip away easily from him. But he'd never let her go. Never.

"I had a nightmare." She told him. He kept quiet. He needn't ask why, she already knew that the question hung in the air, waiting to be answered. "It was about you." And her words become incoherent after that. "God, Jesse it was so real. I d-don't know what was ha-happening."

He could feel her quaking again and he shushed her, wrapping his arms around her tighter. "Shh," He said, calming her down effectively. "Don't be scared anymore. I'm right here, I'm not leaving. Now tell me what happened in your nightmare."

She was quiet for a moment, just letting herself savor his warmth. He liked the way she fit perfectly in her arms and she liked the way he held her close enough to reassure her things were fine. It was a win-win situation.

"I was looking for you," She began and he stroked her hair for good measure. "Because you'd left me. I don't know why, I don't know how, but you left me. You were just gone and I was looking for you all over the campus. And then I found you and you told me to leave you alone and that you hated me. It was the worst thing that I could ever imagine."

He stared at the outline of the figure in his arms, not quite being able to truly see her. He could feel her breathing in his arms, shaky breaths that kept her alive. He could feel her skin, smooth to his touch. And he thought to himself about how she could ever dream such a thing?

She was beautiful, she was amazing, she was talented, she was everything he could ever hope for. There was no good reason to leave her. There never would be. She always thought he was too good to her, but she never thought about how he did all those good things so that he could deserve her.

"Beca, I'm not leaving." He said and she just continued to quake. "I could never hate you. In fact, I feel the opposite of that. I never want you to leave me alone. You're the most amazing thing that has ever happened to me. That's never going to happen to you, alright?"

Silence filled the room once more and he was scared she wouldn't believe him. She had to, she just had to. He would never let her go and it was a fact they had to face together. And in what seemed like forever, she said in a voice even quieter than Lilly's, "Yes."

He kissed her hair again and smiled to himself, feeling content with his life. Nothing could go wrong with this girl in his arms. "Go to sleep Beca. You're not going to have nightmares tonight." He said and they both knew he was telling the truth.

"Sing to me?" She requested like a child. Despite the menacing ear spike and her attitude, she would always be a child around him.

"Okay." He said and sang the very first song that entered his mind.

"Moon river, wider than a mile." He sang and she laughed softly. Of course he'd choose a song from a classic movie. "I'm crossing you in style someday. You dream maker, you heartbreaker. Wherever you're going, I'm going your way."

And by the end of his little lullaby, she was fast asleep in his arms, dreaming of him.

* * *

The next morning, she woke up, not remembering at first what had happened the night before. It was only when she felt his arms around her, holding her tightly, did she remember a thing about what happened.

She turned her head a little bit, watching him sleep. She smiled to herself, seeing how peaceful he was. It was times like these, these quiet little moments, she was able to appreciate him most. Them lying there together felt like heaven.

His eyes fluttered opened and her smile grew wider. "Good morning." She said, turning into a morning person for once in her entire life. Seeing his face first thing in the mornign was a nice change to the usual morning routine.

"Morning." He greeted back returning her smile and kissed her lips softly. "How was your sleep?"

She sighed. "I don't remember. You kept all my dreams at bay."

And right there in that moment, they were content.

* * *

**Okay, so this is the third update of the day. Which is weird. Tomorrow's Christmas eve so leave me some reviews as presents. How does that sound? I'll write while waiting for Christmas to arrive if you'd like. It's the least I can do for you guys after you made me feel better with all those reviews. All of these reviews I'm getting… I don't even know how to react. Thank you, just thank you.**


	5. Always You

**Okay, so I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. I was in a place with no wifi for like 4 days. Can you imagine the horror and torture I went through? Well, it's over now and I have this new one which I'm actually very excited to write. I need you guys to read the author's note at the bottom later, especially if you want to have some fun with me. I'll explain everything else later.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pitch Perfect (currently #2 on IMDB), the characters and You're Dead Wrong by Mayday Parade. Yes, I like using Mayday Parade for this couple.**

* * *

"_If your heart is true, then I'll be with you 'cause it's you that I adore and we both know I loved you more."  
-You're Dead Wrong, Mayday Parade_

* * *

It was supposed to be the usual fight, the fight where they'd make up in an hour or the next day. It was supposed to be the type of fight where Benji would convince him to apologize or the Bellas would talk some sense into her. But things had been blow totally out of proportion.

"You know what Jesse," She said, holding her hands up in surrender. She'd had enough. It was too much for her now. "Fuck it, I can't keep doing this anymore. We're done. I don't want to have to be with a guy that I'm going to fight with every single day."

He scoffed. "Yeah, it's my fault we keep fighting." He said even though her words were piercing and painful. "All I ever do is try to help, but you just keep pushing me away. Maybe it's about time I gave up on you."

And there they were, the words she never expected to escape his lips. But he had said them and it hurt them both more than they expected. She thought it would hurt less, seeing as she was the one who said she couldn't do it anymore.

She deflated and he opened his mouth to say something, to say anything. Anything was better than the silence that followed. It was the silence in which she held back all the tears that were threatening to escape her eyes and the silence where he had to think of something to tell her it was going to be fine.

But before either of them could say another word, her feet had decided it was time for her to walk away.

* * *

Two weeks. It had been two weeks since either of them had spoken to each other properly. The only time either of them ever spoke was at the station and that was only when completely and utterly necessary. Even that hurt like hell for them most the time.

It was so painful, so completely torturous for her to watch him stack CDs, not even looking up at her, wondering if he missed her as much as she missed him. It hurt to be the girl that missed her boyfriend, that wished she could have that one person back. She never thought she'd be that girl.

Thinking about him gave her a migraine, so she tried her best to focus on the mix that blasted through her headphones. But when she tried to think of something else, her mind just went blank and he'd enter her thoughts once more.

She lay her head back down on the grass and closed her eyes, trying to make herself as comfortable as possible. No one had taken the spot Jesse had beside her there, no one dared to. Everyone was used to the sight of seeing him there beside her, making jokes and being a dork.

She felt someone looming over her, the way Jesse had used to. She hoped it was him, she prayed it was. She wished on imaginary stars and airplanes that he would be the one she saw when she opened her eyes. But her wishes never really came true.

An unexpected sight greeted her and she raised an eyebrow as the boy grinned at her. He was more handsome than ever with his pale skin, dark hair and great smile. She remembered when she'd thought of this boy as her world. He'd faded and turned into nothing at all.

"Surprised to see me?" He said as she slipped off her headphones and sat up. She honestly was. She didn't know he was studying here and Barden wasn't that big a place. "You mind if I sit down here with you?"

She looked at the spot beside her, the spot that Jesse usually filled. It was about time someone else sat down. "Go ahead, it's not like I'm with anyone else right now." She said. He had once made her feel something, but now, all she could do was try to feel anything at all.

He sat down and she stared. He still looked like himself and he still seemed like himself. She knew she was the one who changed. "So how have you been Derek? It's been what, a year? Six months?" She asked, trying her best to start up a conversation that she wasn't even sure she wanted to start at all.

He shrugged. "It's been a while since I've last seen you." He said and she continued to look at him, to study him, trying to find something different. "I'm fine. I've missed you a lot though. We were dating all senior year after all."

She pursed her lips. So this was what he was after. He was living in a past that she would love to relive. Things were always easy with him, mostly because they never really bothered to get to know each other all that well. But it had lasted right up until he decided that she was too much work for him.

"Hey, you want to grab some coffee and catch up? Like now?" He said and she twiddled her thumbs, trying to decide whether or not it was a good idea. "I know it's been a while and the last time I saw you, you screamed things like screw you, you son of a bitch, but I just want to get to know you all over again."

She looked at him. She changed more than he'd ever know and it showed. He was a taste of the past, a taste of what she used to be. She missed being that. She missed being Beca.

She let out a sigh and shrugged. "Sure, why not?"

* * *

When he stepped onto the porch, all he could think about was how this was where he had told her he loved her. The ache grew with every step he took, but he was there to end his pain. He hoped that she was alright, he hoped that he would take her back.

It was never really his plan to come crawling back. No, he'd never plan such a thing. But it was getting to be too much for him. He needed to tell her that before he left, he needed to let her know. The words were right there on his lips.

He took a deep breath, bracing himself for whatever would come along, and knocked on the door. He was getting more nervous by the second, knowing there was a good chance that she wouldn't take him back. But nothing ever prepared him for the sight that greeted him.

"Hey, may I help you?" Jesse had no idea who this boy was. He could very well be Beca's relative flying in for the holidays, but he figured it was rather early for a relative to be flying in. He feared the worst and he was right to.

"Derek, who is it?" He could hear her laugh. It was the laugh only he ever caused and it was so painful to hear. Who was making her laugh that way? It was heartbreaking and lovely at the same time, so bittersweet that it killed him inside.

She appeared in the doorway beside the guy, a smile on her lips. It faded when she saw him standing there. The pain came flooding back to her in waves, fresh and raw. She turned to Derek. "Um, can you go inside and help Sheila with the table?" She asked him.

He kissed her on the lips, nice and quick. She felt his eyes watching them and she could feel his anger. She wanted to slap herself too as Derek walked back inside the house. She turned back to him, looking at him with sad eyes. "What do you want Jesse?"

He didn't know what he wanted anymore. Two months had passed and he was leaving for the holidays. He had just wanted to let her know that he still loved her, but he was too late. She'd moved on and he couldn't process it, he couldn't deal with it.

He said the first thing that came to mind. "I just wanted to say bye." He said and she raised an eyebrow at him. They tried their best not to look at each other, not to speak to each other and here he was, saying bye? "And happy holidays."

She looked at him, looking for something. She could see it, there was something he wanted to say, but the words were dying right on his lips. She couldn't make him say a word and she decided that that was that. "Thanks Jesse." She said, feeling her pain grow. "Happy holidays. I'll see you at the station."

He smiled at her, the saddest smile she ever saw. It was a smile that broke her heart. She'd never felt this much pain in her life, not when Derek broke up with her, not when she broke up with Jesse. It was only now that she felt it take its toll.

She closed the door and took quick deep breaths, rogue tears escaping her eyes. She couldn't stop them. They came quick and there was nothing she could do. She wondered how he could do that to her, make everything disappear and amplify her feelings tenfold. She wiped them away. It was time to let go.

Derek appeared in the hallway, a curious look on his face. "Who was that Bec?" He asked.

Best friend. True love. The one who broke her heart without saying a word. "No one."

* * *

He thought the station was empty when he arrived. Luke wasn't in the booth and it seemed as if there was no one around. The break from Barden had been refreshing and torturous all at the same time and being back made him feel as if it were only now he came home.

"Hey." He jumped and he turned around to see her standing in the doorway of the supply closet. She chuckled, shaking her head a little bit. "Do you know how easy it is to surprise you dork?"

He rolled his eyes at her, knowing that it was time for them to go back to the usual banter. It was time to swallow the bitter medicine and just get over it. "You just caught me at a bad time. I thought I was all alone. " He said right before silence filled the air.

She seemed so far away from him even if it was only a few feet. She still looked the same and the glint was back in her eyes. He coughed into his hand awkwardly. "So uh, the holidays. How were you?" He asked her and she just shrugged, stepping forward a little.

"Uh, good. I saw my mom over the holidays, saw the stepmonster ruin the turkey for Thanksgiving." She said and smiled a little bit. "Overall, I must say it was great. How about you, I didn't hear a word from or about you either."

He leaned on the desk. "It was nice. I just had a lot to think about." He said and she knew what he was talking about. How could she not? She looked down at her feet, becoming very interested in her shoes. She could feel it all come back again.

"Jesse, about that time you came by the house-" She said but he shook his head, telling her not to continue. It hurt him way too much to let her say another word. To let himself hear more would be completely sadistic.

"It's okay Bec." He said and he looked at her. She looked so weak and vulnerable for once in her life. She looked like she could break and this was something so new to him. "You moved on, it was two months. I'm happy for you Beca. I just want you to be happy after all."

She shut her eyes, willing for all of it to disappear. "Can you stop that?" She all but yelled at him and he was completely taken aback. "Why do you have to do that? Just when I think it's going to be okay, you tell me you're happy for me even if I know how much it hurts you."

She opened her eyes and they were glassy. She just wanted to break down in his arms and cry. "I don't want you to get hurt anymore." She said, her voice shaky as he watched her with those doe eyes. "You're always so good to me and everything about you is so great. I'll never be happy if you're hurt."

She walked over to him, letting her arms circle him. She just wanted to be there in that moment, she just wanted to show him how she really felt. She closed her eyes and breathed in his familiar scent. When his arms wrapped around her, she couldn't help but to cry.

She felt him kiss her hair, the way he used to. It made her feel as if she could melt then and there. "Do you know how much I've missed you?" He said and she hugged him tighter. She never wanted to let him go again.

The silence that passed was the most comfortable of them all. She let him hold her, knowing it was all over. It was him, she would always come back to him. No matter who would come along, it would always be him.

"I love you." She said, voice no louder than a whisper, and he smiled. She didn't see it, but he smiled.

"I still love you too."

* * *

**I cried while writing this. I'm not kidding, I just couldn't help crying. I really like this so I hope you guys do as well. And about that thing I told you guys about…**

**Okay, so I want you guys to PM me or write a review about what the next chapter's plot should be. I'm going to pick the most unique one of them all and if you guys want to read something you've been dreaming about for Jesse and Beca come true, well, just tell me. I really want to hear it so go ahead. Thanks a lot guys.**


	6. Saviour

**I want to thank brookieee6 for her review and I've decided to use her suggestion first because that was where I first came up with a good plot and I just need an excuse to use a The Killers song right now because The Killers are fab and their singles are my anthems along with plenty of other songs. I'm going to use more suggestions because you guys are just great and I just need you guys to keep them coming. Brookieee6, I really hope I please you with this update. Thanks so much guys for your support.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pitch Perfect, the characters and When You Were Young by The Killers which is so lovely that I could cry right here and now.**

* * *

"_You sit there in your heartache, waiting on some beautiful boy to, to save you from your old ways… He doesn't look a thing like Jesus, but he talks like a gentleman like you imagined when you were young… They say the devil's water, it ain't so sweet, but you don't have to drink right now. You can dip your feet every once in a while."  
-When You Were Young, The Killers_

* * *

They could hear the catcalls and wolf whistles, but they didn't really seem to care. They could hear all of them cheering and they could both hear Aubrey say words of approval. But it didn't really matter because they were in their own little world, the one where they only heard each other.

She pulled away for a moment to smile at him again. She watched his eyes as they opened ever so slowly and gently. She found them beautiful and in that moment, she could swear that she could stare into them forever.

He drew circles on her waist with his thumb and smiled back at her, so purely happy that winning or losing the ICCAs seemed completely irrelevant. "You're amazing, you know that?" He said and she shook her head, biting her lip to hold back the even wider smile. "You really are."

"Shut up dork." She silenced him with her lips and they knew that the time for words was over.

* * *

She didn't open her eyes, she just wondered why the hotel room was so comfortably warm. It seemed strange but she couldn't really think. All she could think about was how good she felt and the fact that she didn't have any idea why.

Then she felt someone shuffle beside her, making her snuggle deeper into whoever it was. She didn't exactly want to open her eyes, she didn't want to ruin whatever was going on. It felt so peaceful and wonderful that she wanted to stay there forever.

She hesitantly turned her head to see Jesse lying beside her, as bare as she was under the sheets. She didn't gasp or sigh to herself. She was quiet as she processed everything. Everything about the night before came rushing back to her.

She tried her best to have coherent thoughts, but it was rather difficult considering the fact that all she could seem to focus on was the way that his hand rested on her stomach. She turned her head again to look at him. She couldn't help the smile that made it's way onto her face.

His arms wrapped around her just a little tighter and she couldn't help the tears that escaped her eyes. She cried silently in his arms, trying her best to calm herself as not to disturb him. The night before, she'd been too numb and happy to feel anything real.

But she could feel it all now. Everything seemed so much clearer and it broke her heart. She built walls around her so that this would never happen, but he broke them. And it was so easy for him too. Yes, he did get hurt in the process, but making her open up to him was a breeze.

She got up, quietly and carefully, doing her best to make sure that the wonderful guy in her bed stayed asleep, and grabbed the pristine white robe draped on her headboard. She put it on and stared at him, the tears still in her eyes. This was too much for her to take in all at once.

* * *

He woke up all alone. He looked around and wondered where she was. Unlike her, he knew perfectly well what had happened and didn't regret it one single bit. He was glad it had happened and he was glad that things worked out the way they both wanted it to.

"I'm sorry." He heard her voice and he sat up. She was sitting on the window pane, staring out at everything and everyone below. He stared at her as she pulled her knees closer to her chest. "I'm sorry you're here. You can leave now if you want."

He sat on the edge of the bed. He knew this was a time wherein she didn't need to be touched. She didn't need his physical comfort just yet. She needed his words. "Why are you sorry that I'm here? And why the hell would I want to leave?"

She closed her eyes and pressed the side of her forehead to the window. She felt the cool glass on her skin and remembered that she needed to breathe. "Jesse, you have no idea what you've done." She said and he just stared at her with a puzzled look. "You did something to me."

"Did I hurt you last night?" He asked the first thing that came into mind. He went into full on panic mode, his eyes widening, his mouth ready to spew a million sorrys if need be. He never wanted to hurt her in any way and thinking about it made him sick to his stomach.

She shook her head. "No, it's nothing about last night." She replied and he let out a sigh of relief. "It's more about what you've done since we've met. It's nothing you did all in one moment. You can't make me feel like this and do it all in one moment."

She looked at him at last and his face was etched with worry and concern. She had to stop herself from looking in his eyes or he'd break down the walls she tried to rebuild. "What did I do then?" He questioned as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Jesse, you saved me." She stated so simply even though there was a great deal behind those words that had escaped her mouth. "I'm not a good person neither am I the most beautiful girl in all the land. And I wished that someone would save me from the life I used to have and make me forget the things I regret."

He didn't say a word and just looked at her with unreadable eyes. There was too much emotion in them for her to see. "But I knew very well that it wouldn't happen." She continued. "Yet, wishing and hoping and praying about it always made it seem like it would actually happen one day."

She closed her eyes, willing herself not to cry in front of him. "And then I met you."

"You were so nice to me, you were the kindest person I'd ever encountered since I got to Barden," She told him. "And I was so blind not to see that the saviour that I wanted was already right there in front of me. I opened my eyes and it was too late."

He wanted to tell her that she wasn't too late and that was the reason he was there in front of her, but it seemed as if his words would ruin her confession or whatever it was she was saying. "But now we're here and you've saved me." She said, looking down at her hands.

"So what's wrong?" He asked and his voice had so much concern she wanted to run from him and cry. But she had to be strong and tell him what was on her mind. It was the way things had to go down and she was determined to do it.

"I told you I'm not a good person." She said and wiped the rogue tears from her eyes. "Jesse, this is way too good to be true. You're the guy I've always dreamed of whether I knew it or not. I'm going to lose you one way or another. Spare me all the heartache and the pain."

She finally looked at him with pleading eyes. He noticed her tearstained cheeks and realized how much this meant. She was scarred and she believed she was a lost cause. She didn't know what it was like to love and she was afraid.

He let out a small sigh and gestured for her to come sit beside him. She got up and wrapped her arms around herself before sitting beside him. "Beca," He said her name so sweetly, so gently, so softly. "I don't care what you've done or what you regret."

She looked at him, hoping to find that he was lying. Everyone cared what she'd done in the past, they always did. So who was he to tell her that he didn't care about it? But when she searched his eyes, his face, she couldn't find it there.

"I want to be with you." He said and she bit her lip, trying to bite it hard enough to draw blood. "There's no one I would rather be with. I want to be with you and all those things that haunt you. I don't care what you've done, I care about you."

"I don't care if you push me away because you think that this isn't going to last." He said and she was just about ready to tell him he was downright wrong. "I'm going to be here and I want to care for you. I want to hold you, I want to kiss you, I want to be with you."

He looked at her with those eyes that broke her heart. "I want to love you."

She looked down at her hands again. She tended to do that when she couldn't look at him. Looking at him made her feel too much. "There you go again," She said and shook her head a little bit. "Saving me little by little. It's just so hard to believe anyone can love me."

"Well I do." He stated strongly. She stared at him, hearing the conviction in his voice. "I'm not leaving, I'm sticking to your side like super glue." She couldn't help the laugh that made it's way out of her mouth. He knew how to make her laugh at the strangest of times.

He tilted her head up with her finger and stared into her eyes. "I will save you every single day if I have to if that is what it takes to save you." He said and she knew he was being honest with her.

Her arms circled around him and he held her back. She never wanted to lose him. He had become the best thing that had ever happened to her and she'd become that to him as well. Future fights and past regrets didn't matter.

Because that's just how true love works.

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**Okay, I'm done with this one. Please review and tell me what you think. I rather like this… Although, you guys will probably hate it. I swear, I think all of you are just saying code to each other about the Mafia through your reviews. I'm kidding but I think you know what I mean. Anyway, please keep sending in your suggestions and review so I can virtually hug you guys for it.**


	7. Family Secrets

**Let me begin this by telling you something that happened to me today. I was at the mall and my parents told me to go to the skin care place. So I did. When I went in, Pitch Perfect was on their TV. Guess what scene it was? THE JUICE POUCHES AND ROCKY SCENE. So being the Beca/Jesse shipper that I am, I literally screamed, "I TOLD YOU! IT'S A SIGN! THEY'RE MEANT TO BE!" At the receptionist. I only realized today I'm this huge freak without a brain.**

**That's over with okay. I wrote this on Hayley Williams birthday because she's probably the most amazing woman on earth. I only remembered to post this now and yeah. This isn't a suggestion from you guys, I just got this idea after listening to the song. So here's to Hayley, the most fab little fireball!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pitch Perfect, the characters and The Only Exception by Paramore**

* * *

"_And that was the day that I promised that I'd never sing of love if it does not exist. But darling, you are the only exception… Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul that love never lasts and we've got to find other ways to make it alone, but keep a straight face… and up until now I have sworn to myself that I'm content with loneliness because none of it was ever worth the risk, but you are the only exception."  
-The Only Exception, Paramore_

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"I can almost hear my mother telling me now," He said as he continued to absent mindedly twirl the hair of the girl whose head was on his lap. "A mixture of Lauren Bacall and Katharine Hepburn, what a keeper. That's something my mom would definitely whisper to me."

She laughed a little at this and turned a little so that she was looking up at his chin. "Why them?" She asked him. He knew very well that she was not well versed in the world of movies, let alone classic ones and their actors. She was sure he was going to savor telling her about it. She felt his finger go a little higher up her ribcage and her breath hitched in her throat. He knew she was ready to listen.

"Katharine was a tough old cookie. She never really liked the press and was condemned as a- scratch that- the classic Hollywood tomboy. Lauren, however, invented The Look. She turned her stage fright and turned it into a beautiful sultry face."

She understood the comparison to Katharine Hepburn well enough, but Lauren Bacall? It didn't make much sense to her. "Just like you and your walls Beca." He explained as if reading her mind. Sometimes it annoyed her the way he did that, but it felt nice to not have to say anything out loud.

She very well knew what the hell he was talking about. She turned what was once her fear of him and others and turned it into a foundation around herself. Only he'd ever been able to tear it all down, to ruin the work she'd once been so proud of.

He shrugged. "And maybe you're a bit like Bette Davis and Marilyn Monroe too." He told her that and she just smiled contentedly, thinking of what a ridiculously lovely dork her boyfriend was. Not that she ever really called him her boyfriend often.

"It's kind of a big deal for me you know. Meeting your mom I mean." She admitted. He looked down at her own face, mesmerized by it for a moment and thinking to himself, "God, she's so beautiful."

He shook his head with a small smile. "Don't make a mountain out of a mole hill." He said and squeezed her hand fondly. "She's going to adore you, just like I do. My whole family is going to adore you, I'm sure of it."

"So," She said with a little cough, hoping to change the subject. "Is your dad the type that's all fatherly and reads the newspaper at the table?" She joked and felt Jesse tense. She was afraid she'd somehow offended him. She knew family to be a touchy subject for her and sometimes it was a knife in the gut.

"Beca," He said, the tone of his voice going from joking to deadly serious. "Please don't mention him when you go to my place. Not unless my mom starts to talk about it. It's not the most delightful subject to talk about at the dinner table."

A puzzled look came onto her face. He had just begun acting like his parents were divorced as well. He never seemed like the type to come from a broken home. She studied his face carefully, trying to find that one thing wrong. She was alarmed by what she saw in his eyes: pain.

She brought his hand to her lips and kissed it, not once taking his eyes off of him. "Tell me." She said. Her tone of voice was that of a child, asking for a myth or story. It was something he would have found adorable if it weren't for the growing ache in his chest.

He shifted a bit under her. "Yes, my dad used to read the newspaper at the table and my mom would swat it away as she set the meal down on the table." He told her and she listened attentively. She wondered why he was using past tense to tell her all this.

"Right up until he went into a coma two years ago." He said and she couldn't help the small gasp that escaped her lips. She knew nothing about this and it came as a shock that Jesse had a few scars of his own. The question of why hung in the air and he sighed.

"My uncle was a drunkard." He started to explain. "I went to his place once, around two years ago. I said something wrong, he took it the wrong way and I got a beating. I couldn't fight back." He rolled up the sleeve of his jacket and showed her a scar she'd seen many times before. She'd never asked about it, always too afraid to do so.

"I came home, broken, bruised, scarred." He continued and she continued to listen to the words he uttered. "My dad went to his house with me. He tried to explain everything, but my uncle beat him before he could even get his arms up. Next thing I know, he's knocked out cold."

He became quiet and she tried to find the right words to say. "Jesse," She said. What was she supposed to say? She wasn't going to say she was sorry, that much was for sure, not when it was all over. It seemed like words were so pointless.

She put her arms around his neck and pulled up a little while pulling him down. She kissed him and she could swear that both of them had tears in her eyes. She pulled away, making the kiss quick and chaste. She looked into his eyes, seeing all the pain and love, and set her head back down on his lap.

They were quiet for a while as he began lazily drawing patterns on her stomach, contemplating things. He knew that she loved him. She needn't use words to say it, but in that kiss, he knew very well that she did. She didn't run, she didn't say a word. She let the kiss say it all.

"You're lucky you know." She broke the silence first. "Your father protected you and fought for you at the very least. My father quit at the first sign of danger."

He was surprised by her words. She was never the type to tell much about her family, but now that he'd heard it, he knew that he wanted to hear more. It wasn't his curiosity, but more of wanting to know her in a way no one else ever had before.

"We were such a perfectly happy family. My childhood wasn't sad or anything." She told him. "But when he smelled trouble, he mentioned divorce and ran for the hills. I still remember the day he told my mother he was leaving so clearly that we could relive it."

He remembered the time when she'd told her that they could relive her parents' divorce. If she thought it was bad as visiting the gynecologist, then it must've been one of the worst days of her life, if not the worst of them all.

The sigh that escaped her lips was shaky, as if she was holding back tears. "This is why I didn't want to have a relationship before." She admitted and closed her eyes. "Finding love wasn't much of an option anymore. I have a terrible history with it."

"Until you met me?" He said and she looked at his face.

She thought of his looks, his doe eyes, his body, his scars, his lips, his hair. She loved that. But then she thought of who he really was, him and his movies and kind attitude and willingness to help her. Yes, she'd found love when she'd least expected it.

"Yeah," She nodded. "I guess so."

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**I'm sorry if it's really bad, I don't want to read this. I feel like I'm going to be so ashamed if I do. Okay, I think I want to turn this into a threeshot. But only if I get maybe five reviews telling me to. I already have it planned out so just say go if you want it. Thanks guys! Mwah!**


	8. Meeting the Swansons

**Okay, I got two more signs today. I turned on the radio this afternoon on the way home from the mall and heard Hands Down by Dashboard Confessional and The Only Exception by Paramore play. Yes, I squealed like a pig after hearing the first chord of The Only Exception. That song puts me in a temporary haze.**

**Whatever then. Some of you actually said yes to the threeshot, so okay then. I'm actually very glad you said yes because the direction I'm taking this in is great and the ending of this threeshot will be something you wouldn't even think about. But enough of my ridiculous blabber.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pitch Perfect, the characters and Come November by Thriving Ivory which is such a nice song that makes me feel calm inside.**

"_You can't have the world see you like this and you can't stay for more than a night."  
-Come November, Thriving Ivory_

She let out a shaky sigh and ran a hand through her dark brown hair. He took her free hand in his and she just shot him a nervous smile. "You alright there Beca?" He asked in that concerned boyfriend way that secretly made her feel good.

She nodded but didn't say a word. The entire cab drive from the train station to his place had been silent. He was much too excited to see his family and she was much too nervous to meet his family to let a word escape her mouth.

The cab lurched to a stop and she wondered why for a moment. She looked out the window to see a homey looking blue house with a white roof. Of course Jesse grew up in such a normal looking home that was so unlike her mother's apartment in New York. She couldn't stop herself from laughing.

She realized what she'd done and covered her hand with her mouth. He raised his eyebrow at her and she just shook her head, telling him it was best not to ask. He shrugged and payed the cab driver. She was thankful for the little wordless language they had.

A girl came rushing out of the house's front door just as the two of them got the luggage in the back. She reminded her of Jesse with the doe eyes and her curly brown hair, but not so much that she looked like the younger female versioun. "Mom, he's here!" She called into the house.

She ran down the porch steps and threw her arms around him, making him stumble backwards slightly. She was little more than half his size. "I missed you big brother." She said and Beca smiled to ehrself. She couldn't help but think of how she didn't have siblings of her own.

Jesse ruffled her hair a bit and a smile spread across his face when he looked at his girlfriend's rather warm expression. "I missed you too little sis." He said and his sister released him.

She diverted her attention to the petite girl with wavy dark brown hair that merely stood there, her suitcase set down by her side. "Oooh, and you brought someone along with you." The girl said, obviously happy to see that there was another girl around.

He coughed into his hand as his sister gave her an expectant look, waiting to be introduced. "Erica, this is Beca, my girlfriend." He introduced and she could feel the blood rise up to her cheeks when he called her his girlfriend. She wanted to slap the blush right off her face.

She was glad that he was much too focused on the incredelous look on his sister's face. "Beca, this is Erica, my little sister." He said and when she didn't budge, a puzzled look spread across his face. "Hey, didn't mom tell you that she was staying with us for a while?"

"Oh, she did." Erica replied. "But we all thought you were bringing back a poster of Princess Leia, not a gorgeous girl who we all know is so out of your league."

She stopped the blush this time and laughed at the frown that made it's way onto his face. "I still think you're better off with the Princess Leia poster though." She joked and Erica beamed at her. She decided that she was going to like the young girl.

"Let me help you with that." Erica offered and while Beca refused, she insisted. Beca made sure to give her the smallest and lightest bag even if she hadn't brought much with her. Jesse, of course, carried his own luggage into the house.

Even the inside of the house was homey with the fireplace in the living room and the smell of a homecooked meal wafting through the air. She thought of how she grew up ina place like this and couldn't help but think how it was all been there, done that.

"Jesse, is that you?" She heard a voice ask from what seemed to be the kitchen after they'd closed the door behind them. He grabbed her hand and led her to where they needed to go as Erica set down the bag beside the staircase.

He was about to reply, but they'd already stepped into the doorway, hands still intertwined when she saw them. His mother looked like she was in her late forties and had the smile that she was thankful that Jesse inherited.

"My, my," Mrs. Swanson wiped her hands on the blue apron she wore. She looked like she had tears in her eyes as she looked at the two of them, but it might have had something to do with the onions on the counter. "There actually is a girl. How he managed to get you is beyond me, but welcome."

She took off her apron and gave Beca a hug. It was the kind of hug that you know comes from a mother that hugs her children every day. She hugged him as well, whispering to him that there was no way in hell he got her without help. He chuckled at this and remined himself that she got him.

"Why don't you two help set the table and make yourselves at home?" She said with a warm smile. Yes, Beca knew she was going to like it here.

Dinner had been lovely. They'd sat around the dinner table and had a homecooked meal like a normal family. The last time Beca ever remembered doing things like it was when she was around eight. It was refreshing and nice to feel some change going on.

Right before dinner began, Jesse's older brother, Skylar, and his pregnant wife, Anna, had arrived from a doctor's appointment. After the introductions, they announced that the baby was going to be a girl. Beca longed for a sibling more than ever.

"I'm glad I'm spending the first week of summer with you guys." She admitted to him as they talked to each other outside his room. She was going to be staying in the guest room and she'd restricted to herself to his bedroom door until she was sure his mother had completely warmed up to her.

He carressed her cheek with that small smile on his face. She liked the way that his touch was so gentle, but could send shocks through her. It was like a math problem that cannot be solved. "Why wouldn't you be?" He said and kissed her good night.

She let out a sigh as he closed the door and went over to the guest room. She saw the laundry room on her way and saw Mrs. Swanson folding clothes. She decided that she should help her, knowing there wasn't much for her to do all the same.

"Do you need help with that Mrs. Swanson?" She asked and the woman looked at her, as if surprised that she was even in her home. The surprised look quickly turned into a smile and she shook her head, as if coming out of a trance.

"If you'd like to dear." She replied with that warm smile that Beca loved to see on her son's face. The woman pointed her to a pile of shirts and sweaters that she could begin with and Beca stood beside her, folding clothes silently.

"I'm very glad my son found you." Mrs. Swanson told her and Beca felt as if she had just attained victory. It was sometimes difficult to get people to like her, but Mrs. Swanson had been the type of woman that knew she was going to try hard. "He needs someone in his life to love."

Beca hid the blush on her face with her hair. She was getting angry at herself for blushing so much these days. "Oh? Why is that?" She asked her, trying to keep her voice as steady as possible.

The woman was silent for a moment and Beca almost thought she hadn't heard her. "You do know about my husband, don't you?" She said and Beca nodded, continuing to fold the clothes neatly. The way Mrs. Swanson did it, it was obvious that she did things like these every day.

"He doesn't like to talk to anyone about it." She told her. "I'm surprised that he's starting to tell someone about this, but I'm happy about it too. He's always had so much love to share and I'm glad he's found someone to share most of it to."

Beca clapped her hands together, deciding that she needed time to ponder over her words. "I'm glad that's me." She replied and Mrs. Swanson nodded before handing her a blanket. Beca took it as her cue to leave and she rushed to the guest room, shutting the door behind her.

So even Mrs. Swanson knew it. It must have been so obvious already. He was trusting her with those deep dark things he'd never trusted anyone with and she wasn't saying much. She felt guilty about it all of a sudden and plopped onto the bed, her hands covering her face.

They lay under the stars in the backyard the night after. "So do you do his every Saturday here?" She asked him, not taking her eyes off of the starry night sky. It was beautiful and she rarely ever had time to do things like this.

He shrugged. "Me and my dad used to watch movies out here when I was four." He told her. "He'd bring out the old projector and we'd watch any movie I wanted. Then my sister was born and it became more of a family thing."

There it was again. He'd confided in her, something that he could never tell another friend. He was so comfortable with her and it made her feel terrible the way he said these things. Yes, she wanted to say something back, but there was too much to say.

"Jesse?" She said and he let out a hmm in response. "When I told you that my father ran for the hills at the sign of trouble, I lied to you."

He looked at her at last and she couldn't bring herself to look at him. She wanted to get everything out first. "My mother was pregnant with me before they got married. They were so in love and just a few months after they were married, I came along."

"When I was nine," She continued, knowing that she had to this. She just had to. She couldn't let him say things without saying anything back. "My mother had a miscarriage and that was when the trouble began. My parents started fighting more often and as much as they wanted it to work again, it just… didn't."

"So I was hiding the hall, watching and listening to them say their last goodbyes." She could remember it all so clearly that the pain came to her in waves. "She said that she wanted it to work and she was so sorry that it wasn't. She told him she loved him and my father told her she loved him too. Then he left."

She finally got the courage to look at Jesse. His eyes were unreadable. It scared her half to death, the way he wasn't saying a word or expressing any emotion whatsoever. "That's why I've never told you those words. It brings back too much." She told him and a sad smile made its way onto his lips.

He took her hand in his, easily lacing their fingers. "I'm glad you told me." He said and by the way he smiled, she knew he was. She smiled back at him and went back to looking at the stars as the rest of the family set up the projector.

She heard the ping of elevator doors and he told her step out. When he woke her up this morning and told her to get ready and put the blindfold on her eyes, she thought he was just taking her to breakfast or something.

But when she was sure it had been well over fifteen minutes later, she began to doubt her previous assumptions. This was something bigger and she knew it by the way he led her around and the cold air of the place they were in.

He removed her blindfold and told her to open her eyes. She gasped a little at the sight in front of her.

"Beca," Jesse said. "I'd like you to meet my dad."

**This is terrible, I know it. Oh gosh, no, please tell me you hate this as much as I do. Oh gosh, it's terrible. NO, THIS IS SO BAD I WANT TO SOB. I'm posting this anyway because I really want you guys to see the last chapter which will surely be the most touching and slightly painful to read. Okay, that's it for now. See y'all later/tomorrow guys!**


	9. Father

**Oh my gosh, it's been so long. Dear Lord, I feel guilty. Should I? Well, never mind that. At least I'm updating now. I've just been so busy with school and everything and yeah. I hope you guys like the last part of the threeshot and I will make sure to update again some time this week, okay?**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Pitch Perfect, the characters and Second & Sebring by Of Mice & Men which you probably shouldn't listen to unless you actually like screamo.**

* * *

"_This is not what it is, only baby scars. I need your love like a boy needs his mother's side."  
-Second & Sebring, Of Mice & Men_

She didn't look at Jesse. Her eyes were glued to the man, lying there on the bed. She wanted to stop staring, but she still couldn't process things. She couldn't help but think of how their faces had the same shape and how he was built the way Jesse was.

She finally willed herself to look at him. He was watching his father too. She could see it in his eyes, it was as if he was waiting for him to move even if they both knew he wouldn't do so soon. "Why am I here?" She asked him, her voice stern.

"I know it may seem forced," He said, not once taking his eyes off the man on the bed. "But I wanted you to come here with me. I don't need you to talk to him, you'll do that when you want to. It's not my decision."

He looked at her. She couldn't help but notice how his eyes looked excited and glassy. The excitement wasn't that of a child wanting to catch the ice cream truck. It was the excitement of a child wanting to see their father who was locked away somewhere he couldn't go.

"But I wanted to take you here." He told her. "I kept going here alone before I left for Barden. I guess it was the grief. I started to feel as if I was living in a completely different world, one where others didn't exist. It's fun, yeah, but it's lonely too."

He took her hand and laced their fingers. "If you don't want to be here while I talk to him," He said, knowing that both of them would be more comfortable if he went in alone. "You can go to the coffee shop downstairs. I just needed you."

She couldn't help the smile that made it's way onto her lips. She was glad that she was the one that was here for him this time. It made her feel better somehow. "Are you sure you'll be alright?" She asked, touching his arm gently.

He nodded, knowing it was best for both of them. "Yes, I'm sure." He replied and she left, letting go of his hand and hoping that he'd find what he was looking for.

He let out a sigh when she shut the door behind her. He looked at his father again and pulled up a chair to stay by his bedside. "Hey dad." He greeted him the same way he'd been greeting him for so long. He had so much to say he wasn't sure what was supposed to go first.

"So the Trebles got second place at the ICCAs." He told him, wondering if it was better than speaking to thin air. "It was pretty cool, but the Bellas? Hell, they kicked our asses into next week. You should have seen it."

The moment the words escaped his mouth, he instantly wished he hadn't. Of course his father couldn't even mutter a reply and that was just it. He couldn't say a word, he couldn't open his eyes to look at his son, he couldn't even lift a finger.

He took a breath and started talking to him again. "And I got the girl, just like in the movies. Or she got me, it doesn't really matter. I still have her, right? She sang Don't You and kissed me in front of tons of people. Yup, it's a movie alright."

"She's amazing." He said, wanting his father to hear about her. "She loves music with such a passion and she's so strong and independent. She pushes me away, but I come right back to her. I don't know why, but I just do."

"I wish you could just wake up and tell me if this is what it's supposed to feel like, but I guess that's just the beauty of things. We have to figure things out for ourselves and while I know it's not the best situation to look at things this way, I have to."

He let out a sigh of relief, of contentment. And he told him everything that he felt, all that he knew because knowing he was listening was all he really needed to know.

* * *

_**Five years later…**_

"Hey Dad," He said, closing his eyes for a moment as the wind blew Beca's hair back. He needed to take a deep breath, he needed to remind himself that he was alright. "It's been a while since I last came to visit. I took Beca with me today."

Beca watched him. She just watched him. She couldn't imagine the pain he felt, she couldn't imagine what he wanted to do. There must have been so much he wanted to say, so much he wanted to yell, but as usual, he just couldn't.

"Last time I came to visit you, me and Beca were about to get married." He said and smiles made their way to both their faces. They couldn't forget that day. They wanted to elope and make sure no one knew until it was over, but no, Jesse being Jesse just had to make it like the movies. "And now, you're going to have a grandchild."

Beca knelt down next to Jesse with a little difficulty. She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear and kept quiet. It wasn't time for her to say anything yet. He was still letting it out and she needed to let him do that. It wasn't time yet.

"It's just a shame you'll never meet him." Jesse said and the tears fell from his eyes. He bowed his head down, not saying one single word, trying his best to breathe. When his father had died, the pain came full force. No one had been sure what was going to be worse, the full force pain or the one that lasted forever.

When he didn't say another word, she knew that was her cue to speak. "I wish we both could have." She said, one hand on her stomach. Jesse didn't look at her. He just cried. "I know I would've loved your father. I just know it."

She took his hand and placed it on her stomach. He looked at it and the hand on his own, making those endless patterns. "I want you to raise this child the way he raised you." She told him, looking at the same thing he was. "And he would be proud of you for raising a Swanson."

He let out a shaky breath and smiled. "I already love you and I love this child, I think he's already proud of me." He said and she was happy that he was beginning to get better. He looked at her as her still wavy brown hair curtained her face. "I love you so much."

He kissed her forehead and they stared at his father's name and decided that they'd name the child after him. It was no happy ending, but to them, it felt better that way.

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**I know y'all are going to tell me how much you don't like this, but yeah. So just tell me what you think anyway and please, don't be kind.**


	10. Black Holes

**Hey I know most of you have probably given up on me. To be honest, I was kind of sure I was not going to continue this anymore despite the love you guys bring me. You guys were always the sweetest reviewers and it kind of broke my heart to stop this. But thankfully, I was watching Paramore interviews (because I'm a crazy fan) and saw one where Hayley Williams said that she loved Pitch Perfect while they were at the MMAs. So you can thank her for making me watch Pitch Perfect again and inspiring me to continue. I know you won't thank her though because this is going to suck I just know it. Oh well, time for me to shut up and write again! Just so you know… I missed you guys.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Hate to See Your Heart Break by Paramore (buy their new album, this song is great, it's about Taylor York, love of my life!), Roman Holiday (references), Pitch Perfect and the characters. Oh gosh, I even missed the disclaimer.**

"_Just let the pain remind you hearts can heal. Oh, how were you to know? How were you to know? I hate to see your heart break. I hate to see your eyes grow darker as they close, but I've been there before."  
-Hate to See Your Heart Break, Paramore_

She had once imagined her heart as a black hole, sucking out all of the pain and all of the sadness after her parents' divorce. But she never imagined that it would suck out the joy and love too. Later on, she wondered if taking away the pain was worth sacrificing all of the good things she could have felt.

But around him, it didn't matter. He didn't care about the black hole that sucked in all of his affection, all of his care. He had found every chink in her armour, all the cracks in her walls and he tore it all down, leaving her and nothing but her, what he had been searching for all along.

"Anya, seriously?" She said and he threw his head back and laughed at her. She'd always been so skeptical and judgemental when it came to the movies that he made her watch, but they'd always been the best movies and she enjoyed watching them with him. Not that she'd admit to either.

"It's Roman Holiday!" He exclaimed as if the presence of Audrey Hepburn and Gregory Peck in the movie would explain everything to her. She shot him a look and he let out a sigh, knowing that his arguments would get him nowhere. "It's about a princess in Rome, I don't think they planned on going with realistic."

"Unfortunately for you and Princess Ann, I kind of live for reality." She said in her half-joking way.

They were sitting in the same position that they had been when he'd made her watch the ending of The Breakfast Club, the first in a long list of movies that she liked. But their fingers were intertwined and that made her feel good, so good that she wondered if it was real life or if it was just fantasy.

She looked down at their hands as he absentmindedly drew those circles on her own hand with his thumb. It made her feel like his hand belonged in her own. They'd gone from fighting to making up/out at the ICCAs in front of hundreds of people to becoming… what they were.

"Hold it Wikipedia," She interrupted him while he was spouting fun facts and trivia about the movie. It annoyed him a little, but he let it slide. Especially since he couldn't do anything about it. "Princess Ann escapes in Rome, gets money from a stranger and spends it all on a haircut, shoes and gelato." He laughed at the accuracy of her synopsis. "So that's what badass is in the 1950s I guess."

"It's amazing, they used to have Princess Ann," He joked with an amused expression on his face earning him a playful punch to the side. He ignored it and continued. "And now we have you, Beca Mitchell. It's like I can make an entire documentary on the evolution of the bad girl. I think it would sell, don't you?"

She scoffed at his joke and let him return to the movie. She watched him mouth the words along with Gregory Peck. She watched him as she did before, with the exact same curiosity and wonder. He was so different. She'd never meant for any of it to happen and there she was all the same. And she didn't hate it either.

"You're missing the movie. Again." He said after noticing that she was paying more attention to him than the fact that Anya was ordering champagne in a sidewalk café in Rome. He waited a few more moments, giving her a chance to divert her attention to the movie even if he knew it wouldn't happen.

He let out a sigh that they'd both become much too familiar with and he turned his head to look at her face, the beautiful face he'd spotted from his car window that fateful day. He kissed her and she didn't pull away, feeling the joy that should have been sucked away burst inside her, making her feel alive.

It was more than the mere prospect of them kissing on her bed in the late afternoon while Kimmy Jin was at a lecture. It was him and the way he made her feel, the way he made her forget that the black hole was there. She had a heart again, thanks to him, and it made her realize that she did want to feel after all.

Just when she wound her arms around his neck, her phone rang. She threw her head back and groaned, contemplating whether or not she should pick it up. He placed one single feather light kiss on her neck and handed her her phone from the bedside table.

She picked up and almost squealed while saying hello, something she would never normally do, when he pulled her onto his lap while his arms wrapped around her waist, holding her in place. Seeing people do those things had once made her nauseous, but that was before she knew how good it actually felt.

"Beca?" The voice on the other line said and she almost dropped the phone. No, she was beyond dropping the phone. She was ready to yell and toss the phone at the wall. But a part of her was glad, so terribly glad that she hadn't been forgotten. Those contradictory feelings made her want the black hole.

The shock washed over her like a wave washes over a shore. She knew that voice like she knew her own. The voice made her tense even in his arms where she felt the safest she'd ever been. The thoughts flooded her head, letting no words escape her lips.

"Are you there Beca?" The voice asked and she found the will to say yes. She found the will to say anything at all and it occurred to her that his patience was rubbing off on her. She heard a sigh of relief on the other side. The line was quiet for a while, filling itself with anxiety. "I'm in town Beca."

She took a sharp intake of breath and wondered exactly what they were doing there. She wasn't even given a fair warning, she wasn't given the privilege of being told. It was just like before and it hurt her to admit it. "Why are you in town?" She asked, tone cold and cringeworthy.

"I want to have dinner with you tonight." They said and she was really ready to toss her phone at the wall this time. He must have felt how tense she was at that point because he held onto her even tighter than he did before. She was rather thankful for it. "It's important, I want to talk to you."

She pursed her lips, contemplating things once again. She found herself doing that a lot. If she was still who she was a few months before, she wouldn't have given things a second thought and said no. She would have blocked everything out with her headphones. But she knew that wasn't the case.

"Alright. Text me the details and I'll see you tonight." She said, hanging up before another word could be said. She finally dropped her phone on the bed and let out a deep breath, one that she had no idea she'd been holding in. That's when she put her hands over her mouth and everything in her mind just came flooding in.

So many questions deserving of answers and yet so many bitter and hateful words wanting to be said. She didn't know what to say, what to do. She thought that she would leave things as they were, but that obviously wasn't the case. Things just had to be resolved all the time.

"Bec," He said when he felt that he could speak again, when he felt that she was ready to hear his voice again. "Bec, who was that?"

She turned his head to look at him. She looked at him straight in the eye, something she'd found difficult to do with most other people. He saw it all, he saw the anger and hate and fear etched into her face. But when he looked at those wonderful blue eyes, he saw it. He saw the joy she felt deep in her soul.

"That was my mom."

* * *

She entered the diner near Barden that was small enough on the outside that you'd probably have to drive past it at least three times just to realize it was there. On the inside though, it was rather spacious, making that illusion that restaurants and buildings usually have.

It was reminiscent of her time in New York. Her mother always got home late from work and by the time she was back, she'd say screw it and take her daughter to a diner not so far from their apartment. It was a part of her that she didn't want to let go of, but didn't want to remember either. She just locked it away.

She looked around, searching for the same head of dark hair that she had. She saw it in a booth and she couldn't help but laugh through all the anger bubbling on the surface when she spotted the cup of tea in her hands. She felt like tea was in her veins instead of blood sometimes.

She slid into the booth, sitting across her mother. She looked at her mother as she sipped her tea. Her dark hair was thinning and it was like looking at a faded photograph. It was the same person, but something had changed, something was different and she couldn't put her finger on it.

"Hello Beca," The woman said, her voice betraying no emotion. She used to use that tone with her when it was time for a serious talking to, but she knew that it was her turn to get her serious talking to. In her daughter's mind, that was what she deserved.

She let a smile creep onto her lips, slightly pale. Beca thought that it was just a new shade of lipstick at first glance, but she realized that it had become the natural colour of her lips. She was losing her luster and that made her sadder than she thought it would.

"You look gorgeous Beca." She said and she had to bow her head down so that she couldn't look at her too closely. She wished she'd left her hair down just so she could hide her face. "I mean, you're so beautiful. I'm losing the glow and you're getting the glow. Talk about inheritance."

"I'm sorry about the ICCAs." She apologized. "I wanted to go see you, but I couldn't go on short notice. I saw a video of you and I thought you were brilliant though. Amazing as I thought you would be."

She considered saying something cold and harsh, but the disappointment took over. She'd wanted her mother to go to the ICCAs. She once had a life where she would be there at such a huge moment in her life, but that life didn't exist anymore.

A waitress came with their food and she realized she'd already ordered for her. A club sandwich with fries and a rootbeer float. She thought about the times again, those times that she'd stashed away. They seemed so far away even if that must have been only a year ago.

The booth was filled with silence for a moment. She filled it with her questions and she filled it with vague answers. Beca picked at her fries, waiting for the right words to form on her tongue even if they'd been there all along.

"Why did you let me leave?" She asked that question that had haunted her for months. Her mother had told her she'd pay for LA, that it was good for her to follow her dreams. And yet, she'd let her father make her go to college and it was just a knife in the back. The wound wouldn't heal and she felt the pain every single day.

"I'm here because I want to explain." She said, answering one of her unsaid questions. She looked down and Beca saw that her mother looked like she was going to cry, something she hadn't remembered seeing since her and her father got divorced. It broke her heart to see a strong woman break.

"I'm sorry." Her mother's voice quivered and tears began to fall from her eyes. "I wanted what was best for you Beca. I was so afraid to tell you, I was such a coward and I still am a coward, but it's time for me to say it now. We're both strong enough."

Beca was confused by her mother's words. And then it all just clicked in her mind, all of it. She looked at her mother as her lips formed the words and when she held her mother's hand, she cried like she never cried before.

* * *

He searched for her everywhere, in the quad, in the station. Hell, he even looked in the library. So when he knocked on her dorm, he prayed he would find her there because that was pretty much his last hope. "Hey, Beca?" He said and continued to knock.

He let out a small sound of frustration when Kimmy Jin opened the door. Her face was serious and blank as usual, betraying nothing. "Kimmy Jin, have you seen Beca around?" He said and when she looked puzzled, he knew that he was not going to like her answer.

"No, she hasn't been here in three days; I thought she was with you." She said and he felt even more determined to find her. Yes, he'd left her a hundred messages and yes, he'd searched for her everywhere, but he wasn't done yet. "I'll tell her to call you if she comes back."

"Alright, thanks Kimmy Jin." He said and she shut the door. He let out a deep breath before running a hand through his hair. He thought of her and where exactly she would be. He knew it wouldn't be easy to find her because nothing about her was easy, but he could try his best.

His phone rang in his pocket. He looked at the message and felt the corners of his lips turn up into a smile. It was pretty easy after all.

* * *

He grabbed a juice pouch before going out to see her, knowing that it would be a wise decision. No matter what mood she would be in, she would appreciate the juice pouch. It was something unsaid, but it was something that his instincts just told him to do.

He did a once over when he saw where she had led him to. It was a playground, an old one in her father's neighborhood. It seemed as if there were no children there. He heard no small voices laughing, no chanting of nursery rhymes done by little children.

He looked at the playground. It was a little worn, but it was still a playground complete with the seesaw and the slide and everything. It was complete with her two, sitting on the swing set with a bottle of Heineken in hand.

She knew he was there, but she didn't react. She heard the twigs snap beneath his feet, but she just continued to gently swing back and forth. He sat in the swing beside her own, but she still didn't look at him. She wasn't ready to look at him yet.

But he looked at her and saw her so vulnerable and broken. He saw the tear tracks on her cheeks and he knew it wasn't okay because she hadn't even bothered to erase them. Her face was puffy and she looked like she hadn't eaten properly since he'd last seen her which was true.

"Well, hello there little girl," He joked, not getting a laugh but a smile from her. That was enough to reassure him. Seeing her smile made things okay, it made life better. "How about you give me that bottle of beer and I give you this juice pouch?"

She looked at his hands and saw the Capri Sun. She took it from him and gave him her Heineken. She would have been glad that the drinking was over if she wasn't so numb. She was so numb, but still she felt the pain shoot through her at random times.

She licked her lips, trying to find words to say as she poked the juice pouch with her straw. "J-Jesse?" She said before successfully getting the straw in. He set the half empty bottle on the ground and looked at her again. "I have no idea what I'm doing here. I have no idea what I'm doing at all."

She sipped through her straw, letting silence fill the air again. It was comfortable, the silence between them. He didn't rush and neither did she. They both waited until she was alright, until she found the will to continue and let the words come out of her mouth again.

"My mom has cancer."

The moment the words escaped her mouth, she had to close her eyes just to stop the tears from escaping. She laughed a little without the humour and shook her head. "I thought she abandoned me, but what she wanted was the best for me. I get that now." She told him.

"I don't think it's fair though," She said a little slower. "That I'm going to be stuck with my father and Sheila, but the one person who didn't abandon me when my own father did is sick and is going to die. It's just not fair. Why isn't it ever fair?"

"Why does this have to happen?" She said in a voice no louder than a whisper. Her voice was carried by the wind as she covered her eyes with her hand, not giving two shits if he saw her cry. It didn't matter to her anymore. None of it really mattered to her anymore.

The silence came back and before he knew it, she was up and brushing the dirt off of her jeans. She threw the juice pouch in a trash can nearby and looked at him, a smile plastered onto her face, deciding that he had nothing to say and they could talk another day. "Thanks for checking on me." She said before starting to walk away.

"Beca wait!" He said and grabbed her wrist. He pulled her in until he was embracing her, her head buried in his chest where she cried and sobbed her heart out. She cried and she felt all the pain and all her sorrow and he knew it was too much for her to bear.

He stroked her hair and calmed her, knowing that he had to give her time. "I'm not going to abandon you." He whispered and she held her even tighter, as tight as her body would allow. "I'm not like everyone else, I'm not going to leave you. I love you."

She felt herself smile at his words and she let herself say the words back to him. "I love you too." And things just felt a little better knowing that at least those two things stood true.

"I can't promise you things will be okay." He said. "But I can promise you that I'll be here for you every single day, tending to your wounds."

She let herself cry, she let herself pour her soul out to him. And she knew that while he could not promise that things would be okay, she could promise herself that things would be alright.

* * *

"Mom, are you awake?" She said as a smile spread across her lips. She sat by her bedside, smiling despite all of it. She was turning into an eternal optimist and he was the only one to blame. She didn't hate it though. She thought it wasn't all that bad really.

She coughed into her hand and smiled as she opened her eyes. She raised an eyebrow at the handsome man beside her daughter. "So this must be Jesse then." She said and her smile grew even wider. "I'm Claire, Beca's mom. Beca tells me you're an amazing singer and a nice guy. Not to mention good in-"

"Mom!" Beca cut in earning a wink from Jesse.

And she realized it was worth it. It was worth all the pain in the world. Her mother and Jesse and the Bellas and even her father were worth all the pain in the world. She didn't need the black hole to suck it all out anymore.

She had something so much better. A heart to feel.

**Oh dear, I think I cried while writing this, I can't be too sure. Sorry if I'm a bit rusty, I haven't written in a while. It honestly took me around 5 tries to get this just right and about 3 different plots to get to where I wanted to be. I want to apologize as well for that small Bohemian Rhapsody reference I did in there which I did not even know I put until I read this. It's… 4 AM and I was just determined to write this so please don't mind the fact that some grammar or spelling mistakes have been committed. Please point them out so I can correct them when I edit this later. So R&R as usual guys. I hope you guys missed me and I just want you to know I actually missed you guys too.**

**Xx Lecxi**


	11. The Drunken Confession of a Barden Bella

**Okay, first of all, I would like to thank all of you who reviewed and favourited. You guys are amazing and I think that you are the sweetest people on planet earth, you deserve an award. I seriously took a screenshot of your reviews to look at whenever I feel down which is weird, I know. Second order of business, I see a lot of you saying things that look like you think I'm much older than I actually am. I'd like to make it clear that I am only fourteen. YES I'M FOURTEEN, DON'T JUDGE ME. So I think I owe it to you guys to make a oneshot that isn't as sad as my last few oneshots. I hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoy writing it.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Sleepy Kisses by Candy Hearts (I love Candy Hearts, their songs are so adorable so you'll probably see me using a lot of their songs now), Kiss My Sass by Cobra Starship, Pitch Perfect and the characters.**

* * *

"_You picked me up; I was too drunk to drive. You let me sing on the car ride, the same three songs we always sang while I talked on and on about nothing. But you don't seem to care."  
-Sleepy Kisses, Candy Hearts_

* * *

She swayed along to the beat of the song, the song that she did not know. She let it take her away, to where she wanted to be and mixed with the alcohol buzzing in her system, she felt as if nothing really mattered anymore. She felt like it was all okay.

He snuck a glance at her before quickly averting his eyes back to the road ahead. Short as the drive may have been, it was one he felt as if he had to take, almost as if something was compelling him to do so. He didn't mind all that much. Especially if she was going to be around for the ride.

* * *

"_May I have everyone's attention please?"_

_It was the first night back at Barden, the first night back from the ICCAs in New York. It had been a night he had hoped to spend alone in his dorm, watching movies and eating popcorn. He wanted to rest, to just get away from all of it after all the stress and pressure and the fight between them._

_He knew that he was a bit of a fool to hope and as he had expected, he had been disappointed. The Bellas and Trebles arranged another Hood Night, another night of celebration. It was definitely not how he had wanted to spend his night, but he let his blind optimism take over and decided that it would have to do._

* * *

"I don't know if I've ever told you this," She said and a smile creeped onto his face as her slurred words spouted from her mouth. "But I couldn't stand being here the first few months. And look at me now; I can barely even stand at all!"

He laughed a little, knowing that jokes, ones that cannot be associated with sarcasm, were hard to come by when it came to her. "You are so drunk." He stated jokingly yet not unkindly.

"I know." He looked at her for a brief moment as she met his eyes. "It's just that I don't care anymore."

* * *

"_Um, excuse me?!"_

_It all seemed to be the same, the same place, the same people, and the same celebratory vibe. The Trebles continued on like they had not lost and the Bellas went around, revelling in their victory as they accepted well deserved congratulations at every turn._

_Yet, something about it did not feel the same to him. He thought that maybe it was the fact he wasn't as drunk as he had been the last time around or maybe it was that he had Benji to be around with. But deep down he knew that those were excuses that hid any real reason._

* * *

The song began to play and she threw her head back, a smile on her face. "You only see what I let you see, nothing less and nothing more!" She belted out the words, her hands pushing the ceiling since she could not put her arms all the way up in his car.

He laughed as she sang beside him, the way he had sang to her from a taxi. "They say that kid he's got soul!" He belted out with her, feeling his joy mix with the alcohol in his system. "I'm everywhere that you go and I've been there, seen that, and I ain't taking you home, no-o-o-oh!"

It was a mutual feeling, that great feeling of joy.

* * *

"_ATTENTION ACCASSHOLES!"_

_All heads turned, laughter turned into murmurs and Benji stopped mid-magic trick to look at Aubrey who stood on a makeshift platform. Her hair was disheveled and there was something about her smile that seemed a little too carefree, but she did not lose that authorative air and it made her a wonder to behold._

"_I raise a toast," She said, raising her drink in the air. "For I, Aubrey Posen, hereby declare that the law banning sexual relations between Treblemakers and Barden Bellas," She paused for dramatic effect, relishing the fact that everyone was hanging onto her every word. "Be abolished!"_

_Cheers filled the place and he raised his own drink, knowing that even if it was little too late for such an announcement, it still meant a lot to the Bellas. He looked at her, only a few feet away, and she looked back at him, a smirk playing across her lips._

_He winked at her and in a surprising turn of events, she rushed at him and let her lips crash onto his. He wrapped his arms around her, lifting her off of the ground. He could hear them all wolf whistle and Fat Amy screaming, "Oh, just screw her already!" But he didn't care anymore. They were in the moment and that's all he cared about._

_She pulled away and rested her feet back on the ground, but she still felt like she was floating. Silence filled the air in between them, the noise around them blocked out. He smiled at her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You're way too drunk, I'm taking you home." He said._

_She frowned and let go of him before sipping her drink. "Oh come on Jesse, don't be such a killjoy." She spun around and accidentally dropped her drink on the ground. "Enjoy yourself!"_

"_He's right Beca." Chloe said and he felt relief at her voice. She would convince her and he knew that all too well. "You're rushing at him in the middle of a party," Blood rose to his cheeks. "You're laughing way too hard. It's about time you go on home."_

"_Just one more drink?"_

"_Beca…" He warned._

_She sighed. "Alright."_

* * *

He failed miserably at trying to rap like Travie McCoy, mostly because of the fact that he did not know all of the words. But it didn't really matter because they laughed about it anyway. She laughed because she thought it was okay for once, because she knew ti was okay for once.

And when the song ended, another song filled the silence, one that she did not know. She did not sway along to the beat this time, knowing that there was a gap in the moment, one that she needed to fill. She just didn't know exactly how to fill it.

"Hey Jesse," She said in a small voice, barely over a whisper, unable to process the words before they could even escape her mouth. He made a sound, letting her know that he'd heard her and she was scared for once in a long time. "I think I'm in love with you."

She heard the sharp intake of breath and tried her best to brush it off. Although drunk or not, she felt it, the pain deep in her chest. He hadn't said a word and the very fact had hurt her. She told herself that it would be okay, but she knew she was lying to herself all over again.

The car stopped and she followed him as he got out. She looked at the building, immediately confused. "I don't know if you forgot, but I'm here and this isn't my dorm. It's yours." She said, putting away her disappointment for another time.

He nodded. "Yeah, I know." She gave him a puzzled look. "I just don't want you all alone."

* * *

It took seven whole minutes of slight struggle for them to get to his dorm, one that was not even hard to find or to get to. It normally only took him four, but with a drunk Beca going up a whole flight of stairs, things were bound to get more difficult.

He took out his key and opened the door before she could decide to make drunken renditions of songs in the hall. She came in and took of her coat, letting it fall to the floor. She looked around at the walls covered in posters and Star Wars memorabilia.

She barely caught the shirt that he threw at her. "You can wear that if you want to." He said and she held back her smile. It was like being on a roller coaster. First, he had said nothing when she had told him that she thought she was in love with him, but then he had made her stay in his dorm and offered to let her wear his shirt.

"Whoa!" He said before she could get halfway through removing her top. She gave him a look that asked what exactly was wrong. "Do you want me to turn around or…?"

She rolled her eyes at him and he was glad to see the sight. "It's not like you've never seen me fully naked before Jesse." She said and winked at him. She let her top and jeans fall to the ground and she could swear he blushed before he put on his shirt.

She immediately decided that he liked wearing his shirt. It was much too big for her, but it felt like home, the home that she never knew she wanted. "You can turn off the lights and change. If you want to." She added the last words with a smirk as she sat down on his bed.

He gave her a look as he stripped down to his boxers and she bit her tongue at the very sight of him. It was such a shame when he turned off the lights. She crawled into his bed, staying on one side and leaving a space for him to lie in.

She felt his weight, but she could not feel him against her skin. It made her feel a strange sense of longing that she had never felt before. She rolled onto her side, hoping that some of it would go away when she could no longer see his figure in the dark.

A minute passed and to her, it seemed like years had gone by. She could tell he had not fallen asleep, she could feel his eyes on what little he could see of her. The longing continued and it made her want to scream or turn over.

"Hey Beca?" He finally ended the silence. "I think I'm in love with you too."

She felt the smile creep onto her face and she felt so stupidly happy that a part of her wanted to wipe it right off. He came closer and pushed down his shirt sleeve a little, exposing her shoulder, the one with the tattoo of the vine. He kissed it ever so gently.

She searched for his hand and their fingers intertwined. She let it rest beside her as his head lay close to her own.

She knew she was in love, she didn't think she was anymore. She knew it like she knew stars were made of gas, she knew it like she knew that was a Barden Bella, she knew it like she knew that Darth Vader was Luke's father.

Beca Mitchell knew that she was in love with Jesse Swanson.

* * *

**I don't know if I hate this. BUT IF YOU DO, PLEASE DON'T THROW ROCKS AT ME! It's nothing close to great or anything, but I think that it's better than writing the words THE END on paper. I didn't read this after writing it because I want to test myself so I think it isn't good even though I meant it to be slightly OOC. I actually have something planned up for you guys so I might update faster, I'm not sure. It's a bit of an inspiring idea that I've had for a couple of days so just tell me if you want another 'cause I don't know if you guys are lying in your reviews… Okay, well, whatever. Bye then.**

**Xx  
Lecxi**


	12. Unknown Fear

**Sorry I didn't update sooner like I said I would! I'll try harder next time, I promise. I've been trying hard to nail this for a while and I had to do it twice because the first version was very difficult to understand and by the looks of this final one, it still is. Please don't be angry at me, I swear I did not mean for this to happen.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Miserable at Best by Mayday Parade (which I must say has made me cry many a time), the characters and Pitch Perfect (duh)**

* * *

"_And this will be the first time in a week that I'll talk to you and I can't speak. Been three whole days since I've had sleep 'cause I dream of his lips on your cheek. And I got the point that I should leave you alone, but we both know that I'm not that strong. And I miss the lips that made me fly."  
-Miserable at Best, Mayday Parade_

* * *

We are all cowards in our own right. We all fear those things that we never thought we would ever come to fear, those fears that seem to come from nowhere. One day you are carefree and the next, you're hiding from whatever fears that come to creep up behind you like a serial killer in a damn thriller movie.

She had felt all that happen, but she'd never truly acknowledged it until the fear had come to fill her mind. She used to fear, or at least pretend to fear, nothing at all. She feared nothing for she knew that everyone else had so much to fear and she had so little to be strong for. She used it to her advantage and stayed strong for her and her alone.

That was until he had come into her life, creeping in like a shadow in the night. The very thought that someone had begun to care scared the crap right out of her, but after everything that had happened, she figured that it wasn't so bad for someone to care about her after all and for her to care for them just as much.

But then there were her doubts, those doubts that never really would go away. The doubts turned into fear, consuming her until she went utterly mad. It wasn't that she was afraid of him, she was afraid of him but then again she had been afraid of everyone once, but it was that she was afraid for him. Never in her life had she ever been so completely sorry to hurt anyone.

"We need to break up."

They were seated on the couch in their apartment when they let that horrid silence flood the air around them. He could not help but notice the way she had phrased her words. She had not said them as, "I think we should break up," nor had she offered any explanation. And that's when he knew it was really her and that she meant it.

Although, he couldn't say he was surprised either. She was pushing him farther than ever, right to his very limits. She yelled and avoided and made everything another problem for her to face all on her own. She was becoming who she used to be again, building up the defenses he had worked so hard to tear down. But it still hurt because for once in his life, he knew true happiness. He knew she felt it too.

"Is that what you want?"

"It's what we have to do."

"That's not what I asked. I asked if this is what you want."

She had to avert her eyes just so he would not see that this care, that this wonderful care that he had expressed for her was the reason why they couldn't be together. She could not care for him the same way, she could only bring him pain. It scared her that for once in her life, she actually wanted to be good enough.

She tried to tell herself that it didn't matter anymore, but a part of her told her that it did, that he would always matter to her no matter what she did. She could not change that, that much she could admit to herself, but she had to lessen the pain for both of them because that was the least she could do for him.

"If I told you this isn't what I want," She looked at him again and he saw her eyes brimming with tears that she had fought so hard for so long to hide from him. "I highly doubt I'd change my mind."

He could not help himself from holding her that one time and she submitted to him because a voice was telling her that she was ending something great. But another voice was telling her something better would come her way.

* * *

She continued to try to jam her key into the lock, but to no avail. She cursed under her breath every single time the key would not turn, but unfortunately, the lock took no offense and continued to keep the ever so stubborn door shut.

She stuffed the key back into her pocket and started banging on the door as if it wasn't the only apartment in the building. "Jesse, open up! Damn it Jesse, open the freaking door!" She continually slammed her hand against the door, hoping that he was home.

There'd been a long argument about who would stay. He insisted she stayed, but she rebelled, telling him that she would go elsewhere. After two days, Chloe resolved their argument by suggesting that they meet halfway. They then decided to take turns sleeping on the couch. It was not the most comfortable arrangement, but it was a sacrifice that both were willing to make.

In all honesty, she had not wanted either of them to abandon the apartment. Despite the fact that they decided to be friends, she felt as if leaving the apartment would result in them seeing less of each other, just another thing she did not want. She wanted to be there for him and him to be there for her because while they had broken up, they needed each other.

"Oh thank God," She exhaled when the door finally opened, but she stopped before she could say another word. There, standing right in front of her, was someone she knew all too well but someone she could not recognize either. The flashy tuxedo made her raise her eyebrows. "A little too fancy for movication, don't you think?" She said before passing him and tossing her shoes to the side.

"Um, I was actually thinking of getting a rain check on movication tonight." He said just as she walked toward what used to be their bedroom. She stopped in her tracks, right in the doorway. She turned on her heel, a puzzled look on her face and thoughts running through her head. He never cancelled movication. It was one of those few traditions they kept after two months of breaking up.

Her question hung in the air, but he could feel that it wasn't the only thing. He could sense something that seemed like a betrayed hurt rolling off of her like waves. "There's this girl I know, Jillian, and she asked me to escort her to the alumni ball tonight." He said, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

She let out a small laugh, trying her best not to feel so completely dejected that you'd think that they never dated before. "What, she 32, 35 maybe? Am I far off?" She joked half-heartedly.

"Actually, her brother is a speaker." He said and she felt her heart sink down into her stomach. She looked down at her hands, suddenly interested in her nails. She wanted to be happy, happy that things were going as she had wanted. But she wasn't and it didn't make sense to her. "Hey, aren't Aubrey and Chloe going to be there? Why don't you come?"

She laughed without humour, eyes looking at anything but him. "Sorry, I have a paper calling my name." She spotted that look on his face that told her he was being serious. "No Jesse, you know I'm not into that kind of stuff. Plus I'll never find a dress on time so there's no way I'm going to some stupid alumni ball."

He stared at her, a smile upon his face like he was remembering something. "Alright," He said and while she felt relief, she also felt a slight tug like something was telling her that she was doing something wrong. "Have fun here at home. You can sleep in the bed tonight."

She nodded and he turned, ready to walk out the door. "Wait!" She said, one of his feet already out the door. She felt like she was keeping him there, almost as if him leaving the apartment would be him leaving so much more. He looked at her expectantly and she licked her lips, trying to find the words.

"Do you like her? Like really like her I mean?"

His everlasting smile disappeared, her words finally affecting him. "I do actually." He said and she just nodded, lips pursed. "But if you want to talk about this-"

"No," She interrupted, not letting him finish the sentence. "Go have fun with her, we don't need to talk about anything, it's your life."

He stared at her one last time. It was his life, she knew that and she wasn't about to hold him down. She let him walk out the door and she felt him take so much more with him. A lot more than she bargained for.

"Holy shit."

* * *

She sat in the back of the car, feeling so completely stupid and regretting her quick and senseless decision. She had a paper to do, music to mix, but instead she was in a car doing something stupid and for what exactly, for the sake of torturing herself? No, she knew that there was a reason for her doing it. She just didn't know what it was.

"You look great in that dress by the way." Chloe said.

"She better, that thing costs more than I do." Aubrey interrupted, referring to the strapless white and ruffly pink pastel skirted number that Beca wore. She blamed herself for not being specific and asking for something black or even blue. No, they just had to bring something so unlike her that he wouldn't recognize her.

"Can't we at least pin your hair up?" Chloe asked with a sweet smile that made her sigh. She had had enough of pins boring into her brain that first year as a Bella. She figured that letting her straighten her usually wavy hair was enough.

It made her rather nervous if she was to be honest. She had never felt so unlike herself. She knew she looked great in the dress, she knew that there was a part of her that was still recognizable, but she could no longer recognize herself. She did not look like herself and she didn't feel like herself, doing something so stupid and senseless like the past two months had not happened.

"I don't know what I'm doing." She voiced out, surprising Aubrey and Chloe. "I don't do this, I don't chase after a guy, I don't go to balls. Hell, I don't even wear dresses!" She propped her head onto her hand in complete and utter frustration, feeling so completely helpless. "What the fuck am I doing?"

The car was quiet for a moment, both graduates searching for words of wisdom. But they could not find any, not one single boyfriend had ever made them do things that she did. It was worrying and reassuring at the same time.

"Sometimes," Chloe spoke up unexpectedly, unsure whether her not her words would help. "The right guy makes you do stupid things. Stupid, but not necessarily wrong either."

She bit the inside of her cheek as the auditorium came into sight. She still had no idea what to say so she decided on winging it, just as she always had. She had never been one to plan out her words in her head. But she could not help trying to think of what to say.

As Aubrey parked the car, she could not help but think, "I got myself into this shit, time to get myself out."

* * *

The place was filled with people ranging from their mid 20s to early 30s and she couldn't help but feel more out of place than ever. Even with Chloe and Aubrey on each side, a voice in her head was screaming that she did not belong more than ever. And she felt like it was saying she didn't belong in much more than just the alumni ball.

Aubrey grabbed all three of them champagne and she drank hers thankfully, feeling unable to do anything while fully sober. She could not see him in the crowd of people, but she could feel eyes on her and she wasn't sure if they were checking her out or eyeing the visible tattoo on her shoulder.

"Beca?" He spotted her before she'd seen him and it reminded her of hood night. She pursed her lips and saw the girl beside him. A slim but gorgeous blonde with a simple yet elegant air about her. She wanted to run away, but her damn heels kept her rooted to the spot. "Be-caw!"

She smiled at him as he came closer, feeling her heart beat faster in her chest. When he finally stood in front of her, she had to look down at her feet just so she would not have to see the adoring look on his face. "You look absolutely beautiful." He said and her heart gave leaps that she swore that she would not let happen. "I thought you said you weren't coming."

"I changed my mind." She said simply.

"Jillian, this is Beca, she's the best dork on the face of planet earth." He introduced and Jillian beamed at her, making her feel like a total bitch.

She held out her hand. "It's great to meet you, Jillian. Be warned though, this one's a weirdo."

Also code for: I wish he was still my weirdo.

When she shook hands with her, she spotted a tattoo on her inner wrist and a part of her ached so badly. "Jesse's told me about you, he did not do you any justice." She said in such a nice manner that she began to wonder if she could keep up the smile any longer. "I'm going to go speak to my brother, I'll be back in a minute."

She watched her walk away and she laid her eyes on Jesse again. "Do you have a thing for girls with tattoos or was that pure coincidence?" She tried to joke, but it came out as a serious question. He ran his hand through his hair and she just looked down at her champagne flute.

"Is that what you're here for Beca?" He said, not angrily but not kindly either.

"I don't know."

* * *

She escaped to the parking lot, finally unable to hold back her tears. She leaned against Aubrey's car and wiped the tears away, fighting so hard to hold them back like she had always done. She felt so useless, almost like she was just another girl in a stupid book or, dare she think it, one of those girls in his silly romcom movies.

But she believed that this was fear. This was the fear that she'd fought so hard to face. Her fear was having to leave him behind and having to move on. She didn't know what to say or do. She had brought the fear upon herself.

And she no longer had anything to fear again. Because he was gone and she was no longer hurting him. She had nothing to fear.

**Not my best by a longshot, but this is a twoshot so I seriously hope you'll like the next part better. Yes, I'm quite sorry, but I'm one of those people who just can't deal with unhappy endings in fanfics because that's not fair. I just think that it's completely unfair.**

**Oh, and please do review and in your reviews do me a favour and think of first times. Like first kiss, first date, first WHOLE movie, that sort of thing because one of these days I'm going to make an entire chapter dedicated to that. Alright, well bye and I hope you look forward to my next chapter which is hopefully, better than this one.**

**Xx,**

**Lecxi**


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Pitch Perfect, Humor, Romance