Lord of the Rings 1. Caught

Jokes on You  
  
A cloaked figure walked through the dark halls of the castle of Mirkwood, searching for a certain door. As the figure passed through the halls, it looked upon paintings of the king and his fair son. The figure smirked and continued to travel through the halls. It stopped at a door and opened it quietly, as to not awake the sleeping figure inside.  
  
The figure walked up to the bed and pulled out what looked like to be a sticky substance. The figure carefully placed the substance in the hand of the sleeping person, and carefully removed a feather from its cloak. In the light you could see the sleeping figure was that of King Thranduil. The figure took the feather and positioned it at the base of the kings' nose and started to flick it so as to tickle the king.  
  
The king moved ever so slightly and touched his nose with the hand that was filled with the sticky substance. The cloaked figure chuckled lightly and then after it successfully got the kings face smeared in all of the substance, it took its leave.  
  
~Early the Next Morning~  
  
A scream was heard throughout the kingdom, and it was none other then the King himself. He woke up to stickiness and the corner of his mouth stuck to his thumb. He apparently had been sucking on his thumb during the night.. (A/N: lol sorry I couldn't resist..don't hate me because you know you find it funny too! lol). A fair haired elf ran into his fathers' room and burst out laughing.  
  
"Legolas! Don't just stand there, help me!" So Legolas did as he was told and after a long time of whining and cleaning with soap (A/N: they had soap back then right? Well they had to so they didn't smell like orcs right? Lol), the king was successfully clean. Legolas was still chuckling to himself.  
  
~Later that Night~  
  
The cloaked figure resumed its plan again, although, instead of the king, the figure chose the prince. The cloaked figure walked down the hall to the room Legolas would be sleeping in. The figure (A/N: are you getting sick of the figure yet? Lol sorry you'll know who it is soon) stopped at the door and quietly snuck in. The figure walked over to the bed of the sleeping form and went through its cloak trying to find some berries to dye the princes' fair hair with. Although when the figure turned its back to find the berries it had in its cloak, it soon found an elven blade handled delicately to its neck.  
  
"I would not move, if I were you" The voice said.  
  
"Eh sir, but you are not me..." The cloaked figure responded.  
  
"Tell me who you are and why you are here?" The voice asked. "You really are not that bright if you so wisely think I will answer those questions, Prince" The figure replied.  
  
"Oh, so you do know whom I am.well then if you wont tell me who you are I shall just have to see for myself" With that said, the prince removes the hood of the cloak, and with that he let out a gasp.  
  
Underneath the cloak lay a beautiful elf maiden, with eyes so light that they were almost white, but with a hint of light green. She had long flowing dark brown hair that ended in ringlets. Although she had one fault that stood out. Over her left eye was a scar that stretched from her eye brow to her cheek bone. It wasn't a dark scar but it was enough to notice.  
  
"You're a girl!" Legolas replied so obviously.  
  
"Why thank you 'O obvious one" She replied sarcastically.  
  
Legolas chuckled. "Well does this fair maiden have a name?" he asked.  
  
"I do believe I have one, although I do not think I should tell you" she said.  
  
"Why not?" He asked  
  
"Because, I believe you may turn me into your father for what I did to him last night." She replied.  
  
"It was you who did that?" Legolas was surprised.  
  
All she did was nod. Legolas started to laugh.  
  
"It was really quite funny. My father was fretting how he would never get his thumb unstuck." Legolas smiled.  
  
"Well, I'm glad it amused you." She smiled. "But now I do have to go" As she said this, she leaped of his balcony and successfully landed on her feet, on the ground outside.  
  
Legolas ran to the balcony and called out after her. "You never told me your name.please tell me what it is?" he yelled.  
  
"Kiya" she yelled back, and then without a second look she was gone.  
  
Legolas smiled to himself and went back to bed, determined to find this Kiya in the morning. 


	2. Accident

Disclaimer: I do not own Legolas or Thranduil although I do own Kiya and any other characters that may appear in this story.  
  
~Next Morning~  
  
Legolas woke up the next morning with the thoughts of the fair maiden Kiya still on his mind. He decided to go looking for her throughout the palace and village. Legolas got dressed in a green tunic and brown leggings, and grabbed his bow and arrows just in case something were to happen, he would have some way to protect himself.  
  
He traveled throughout the palace asking if any one new of a Kiya and everyone he asked shook their heads and replied "no, your highness". After that, he decided to go looking in the village. He asked all the people he passed and the shop owners if they had heard of an elf maiden named Kiya. No one knew of her, so at last he gave up hope. A little girl, no older then 8, came running through the village causing a commotion, knocking into people. She finally came up to Legolas and pulled on his tunic.  
  
"Excuse me, Sir?" the little girl said.  
  
Legolas looked down at the little one and smiled a genuine smile. She was about 4'5 and had long ebony hair with little brown eyes. She looked like a doll, Legolas thought.  
  
"Yes, little one?" he replied.  
  
"My sister told me you were looking for Kiya...Is that right?" she asked.  
  
Legolas smiled and replied "Yes, do you know her or maybe where I can find her?"  
  
She smiled brightly and nodded "I sure do" she continued "Just go into the forest, she usually is out there, if she's not playing with the village children."  
  
Legolas smiled a thank you and went off on his way.  
  
~Later, In the Forest~  
  
Legolas looked around but he could not see any sign of Kiya. The little girl had been wrong. Kiya was not here. Legolas returned to the castle without a second thought of Kiya and went along to his regular ways. He would go back to sitting in the castle, attending banquets, and meeting maidens who he did not care for. He believed they were all after his crown and title.  
  
~2 Weeks Later~  
  
Someone had snuck past the guards again and sabotaged the king again. Only this time it affected the kings bowel system..(A/N: I hope I got that right :S)  
  
Kiya hid under her cloak and walked in the kings' room, carefully slipping in without being noticed. She pulled out a goblet of warm water and placed the kings' hand in it very carefully as to not wake him up. (A/N: If you put a sleeping persons hand in warm water it affects their bowel system and makes them pee in their sleep..trust me I've done it to a friend lol) So as the King slept, he peed.  
  
~Next Morning~  
  
"Why is does my bed feel wet?" Thranduil asked himself.  
  
All of a sudden another scream ripped through the air sounding just like the king. Legolas came running and when he arrived, he was shocked to find a wet bed and the king looking like a little kid who had just wet his bed, for the first time.  
  
Legolas starting laughing so hard he had to hold his sides.  
  
"LEGOLAS GREENLEAF IF YOU DO NOT STOP THAT INFURIATING LAUGHTER I WILL PERSONALLY HAVE YOUR BOW TAKEN AWAY!" the king bellowed.  
  
Legolas looked shocked although on the inside he was still laughing. "Yes father, you will here no more laughing out of me."  
  
After the king cleaned himself and had the servants bring new sheets, he was finally ready to start the day. Although, as he stepped out of the room, he ran right into a servant who was carrying some water, for something to drink. The water spilled all over his pants making it look like he had had an accident. The kings' face turned bright red and he walked back into his room mumbling about servants and not watching where they were going.  
  
~Same Time Somewhere Else~  
  
Legolas walked down the hall to his room, his face still flushed from laughing. He came to his door and opened it. Legolas stepped inside and closed the door. Out of the shadows stepped something that shocked Legolas all together. Legolas stood there frozen.  
  
A/N: Bet you have a thought as to who it is huh lol well you're probably right. R/R please 


	3. Shocked Faces

Disclaimer: I do not own Legolas or Thranduil although I do own Kiya and any other characters that may appear in this story.  
  
~In Legolas' room~  
  
Legolas stood there frozen.  
  
"Well, isn't that the greatest welcoming I've had." The figure said.  
  
Legolas zapped out of his trance and smirked. "I do what I can"  
  
"I see, and does that count keeping your room in such a state?" The figure walked throughout the room rubbing its fingers everywhere, seeking dust. The figure turned back to Legolas. "Well, didn't you say you wanted to talk to me?" Kiya asked  
  
"Yes, but I have one question" Legolas replied.  
  
"Yes?" She questioned.  
  
"Did you do something to my father to make him wet his bed?" Legolas asked.  
  
"Maybe.. A good prankster never tells." She smirked. She walked over to two empty chairs and sat down in one. She beckoned Legolas over with her hand and asked him to sit down.  
  
"Come sit and we can talk" She smiled sweetly. (A/N: She is not supposed to be a very sweet person, you do the math)  
  
Legolas walked over to her and sat down in the opposite chair. She counted in her head 'one..two...' BOOM!!! Legolas' chair had broken underneath him and now he was sitting on the floor looking shocked. All she did was smile triumphantly.  
  
"Well Legolas, I'd love to sit around doing nothing, but I have some children to see" She replied standing up.  
  
Legolas, who was still looking shocked, just nodded. 'I can't believe she actually pulled a prank on me,' he thought. She just smiled and walked out the door.  
  
Legolas bean to form a plan in his mind. He'd get her back for that. I'll get her back for that real soon.  
  
~Later that day~  
  
Legolas went back to that same little girl that ran up to him in the village and asked her where he could fine Kiyas' house. She told him Kiya had a house in the village, passed the bakery and if he went to the grape stand he went too far.  
  
Legolas took the young girls' instructions and went to down the village way and passed the bakery. He saw a fairly little hut, and farther down the path he could see Kiya playing with the little children. He took his chance and went it, seeing the door was unlocked. He surveyed the room and his eyes sparked with excitement.  
  
After he was done he surveyed his work and smiled proudly. He hid in the bedroom to see his work unfold.  
  
~Later on that day~  
  
Kiya came back to her hut and walked inside. She looked about and was shocked. 'What in the..' Her whole room and its furniture had been turned upside down and the furniture was stuck to the ceiling.  
  
She grew angry and started to call for help.  
  
"Will someone please hell me get my furniture of the ceiling!!!" she yelled outside.  
  
Legolas started to chuckle. With her sensitive ears she heard the chuckle and turned swiftly on her heal, picking up her sword on the way and placed it against the intruders throat.  
  
"YOU!" She glared at him.  
  
"Me?" He looked innocent.  
  
"You did this!" She accused.  
  
Legolas looked offended. "I did not! Besides, it's not all that bad" He smirked.  
  
"Not that bad? NOT THAT BAD? My room is turned UPSIDE DOWN! But oh no, it's not that bad" She mocked and rolled her eyes. Suddenly her eyes grew hard. "You are going to help me get my furniture down since you did this."  
  
"Fine." He replied.  
  
"Good. Now let us get to work." She said, still a little angry.  
  
~Later that evening~  
  
"I'm sorry." Legolas said suddenly.  
  
They had been taking a walk in the forest; seemingly, it was a good idea then. They had stopped at a lake and where just sitting there.  
  
"What?" She seemed surprised by the sudden apology.  
  
"I said I'm sorry" he repeated.  
  
"Ok, so..Friends?" she stood up and stuck out her hand.  
  
He stood up and shook it, although he did not count on what happened next.  
  
A/N: What do you think will happen? And is Kiya giving up her pranks? :o You will find out if you review. R/R! : D *big big big big big hug!* 


	4. Authors Note

A/N: I'm sorry people ..I just recently started this and to tell you the truth I was planning on taking it down because of this mean person who basically kept saying my work was shit and I just got annoyed with it. So last night I did take it down (stupid me) but I saw how many people absent the flamer really liked it.so I put it back up..I was planning on telling you that it was all a big mistake.  
  
P.S. Squeaker if you detest my story so much don't read it and if you feel like correcting and basically giving me an essay about how shitty my story then go write or read something that's up to your taste instead of making my work seem like crap.  
  
Ok sorry for that little outburst.  
  
LV *hugs*  
  
Btw: I should have the 4th chapter up soon. I just have a lot of homework today. 


	5. berries, water, rider O MY! lol

Disclaimer: Legolas and Thranduil are not mine ..although I wish Legolas was ;) Kiya is mine and any other characters featured in this fanfic besides the ones we know are Tolkiens'.  
  
~At the Lake~  
  
Legolas stood up and shook Kiyas hand. Kiya smirked and pushed his arm so Legolas lost his balance and ended up in the lake. But what Kiya didn't count on, was Legolas pulling her down with him.  
  
They climbed out of the lake looking like drowned rats and all that was exchanged was looks, satisfied looks. Kiya smirked and pushed Legolas.  
  
"Uh, I can't believe you did that! Now I look like I just went swimming with my clothes on!" She pouted.  
  
"Aww.poor baby, would you like a hug?" Legolas asked. (A/N: Don't worry Me n' Legolas person, you asked for non romance so I'm going to make this non romance)  
  
Kiya smirked and walked up to Legolas arms stretched out. Legolas hugged her and she hugged back. BUT what Legolas didn't know was that, while Kiya was walking she picked up some berries and had mashed them in her hand. (A/N: *smirks evilly*) Kiya took out the mashed berries she was carrying. Although they were wet from the fall into the water they were easier to put in someone's hair.  
  
So, Kiya suddenly started to mash her fingers into Legolas' hair. Legolas quickly stepped back and look at her eyes wide.  
  
"What did you just put in my hair?!" Legolas asked.  
  
Kiya looked innocent.  
  
"Just some berries, they look good with your hair color." She smirked.  
  
~Later that day~  
  
"Kiya! I washed it and it still will not come out!" Legolas bellowed as he walked in his room. He had gotten most of it out but there was still a little strand of red, from the berries.  
  
After they came back from the lake, Legolas went to clean his hair from the berries Kiya had put in it. So they walked back up to Legolas' room. (A/N: don't worry there not going to get feisty and all that junk, otherwise this would be an R fanfic and I don't plan on making it R).  
  
When Legolas walked in his room, Kiya was not there. 'She must have gotten hungry and went to the servants' kitchen' he thought. He looked and she was not there. Finally he thought, 'She probably went to the Village to play with the children.'  
  
He decided to go join her in the village.  
  
~Village~  
  
Kiya was dancing with the little children, trying to teach them how to do a dance she made up. She started my placing her hands up in the air so she looked like a 'Y'. Then with her hands she moved them so they look like an 'M'. Some of the little children couldn't grasp the moves, but surely enough, they finally got it. Then she moved her hands so it looked like a moon but turned out to be a 'C', and then finally she moved her hand so they looked like a peak or an 'A'. (A/N: Get it? The Village People are dancing to YMCA lol! *hears the quietness* I thought it was funny *shrugs*)  
  
Legolas was there to only he was watching from far away. Once in a while, he would try to do the move but only succeeded in making something that looked like 'TWOA'. He walked down to Kiya to ask her if she could teach him how to do those intricate moves.  
  
"Sure, just let me teach this little one first" She had responded while walking over to a little boy.  
  
He watched as Kiya moved with the little boy and placed his hands in the proper manner. He found it hard to believe that this was the same girl who had sabotaged his chair, thrown him in water, and dyed a little of his hair. (A/N: FWI: I'm not trying to be mushy! Lol)  
  
Kiya came back to him and showed him how to do the moves. Soon, Legolas was dancing and had a huge smirk on his face.  
  
"Kiya! Look, Look! I can do it!" Legolas bellowed.  
  
Kiya smiled and nodded.  
  
"Seems like it" Was all she said.  
  
Soon a Rider approached them asking for Legolas.  
  
"My prince, your father has asked you to stay within the castle walls." The rider said. "I do not think it wise to be playing with these people. They could be harmful to you if you're not careful." He looked pointedly at Kiya.  
  
Kiya smiled back sweetly.  
  
"I know perfectly well what my father said, and I do not believe these people are to be harmful." Legolas replied.  
  
As the rider and Legolas were verbally sparring, Kiya went to the left of the rider and started to fidget with his saddle. After her work was done, she stepped back. The rider was leaving after getting told of by the prince.  
  
He gave his horse a tap with his feet and the horse was off. What he did not expect was that the saddle had tilted so that his head was next to the ground while the horse was running. (A/N: think Robin Hood: Men in Tights. With the sheriff of Locsly).  
  
Kiya smiles triumphantly. Legolas is holding his sides laughing and the children are all still doing the YMCA, taking no affect as to what just happened.  
  
A/N: I know that wasn't a really funny chapter but the next one will be! Thx for all the great reviews! You guyz r the best! R/R  
  
sierradogbaby: I kno cliffhangers are bad, so ill try to keep them on the minimum ok?  
  
FairyLady: WOW! Im glad I amuse you! :D hehehe  
  
me'n'legolas: *is shocked* you stood up for me? YOU'RE THE BEST! *big hugs* (((  
  
bril: Im glad you find me amusing too. ( lol  
  
OMG SCIENTIFIC BREAKTHROUGH!! I just found out my comp can make smiley faces! WOAH! Lol  
  
PS: I NEED SOME GOOD PRANKS SO PEOPLE IF YOU WILL PLEASE EMAIL ME TELLING ME A GOOD PRANK I WILL GIVE YOU CREDIT AND I WILL USE THE PRANK! Lol please help little ol' me.  
  
LV 


	6. Breath of fresh Ass i mean air

Disclaimer: ok.I'm sick of putting this lol.Legolas isn't mine, I know this. :( But Kiya is. Lol, btw..THANK YOU TOO BRIL!!! SHE HELPED ME THINK OF A PRANK IN THIS CHAPPIE! :D  
  
~Later that evening~  
  
Legolas and Kiya were walking in the woods after the stunt Kiya pulled on the rider; she didn't want any where to be seen in the castle. Kiya and Legolas decided to sleep in the trees in the woods tonight, just so they could watch the stars.  
  
It was already starting to turn dark and Legolas said he had to change into something warmer so he went to a secluded area and changed while Kiya kept her back turned.  
  
Legolas came back after some time and put his clothes he changed out of and put them near the roots of a tree. Soon it was nighttime and Kiya and Legolas climbed up into their own trees.  
  
~Later that Night~  
  
Kiya quietly came down from her tree, and walked over to Legolas' traveling clothes. She carefully picked up Legolas' pants and took out a knife...  
  
She carefully put back the pair of pants and climbed back up to her tree.  
  
~Next day~  
  
When Kiya woke up, Legolas was already up and changed. This is when she started laughing. Legolas just looked at her like she was crazy so as soon as they were packed they headed in different directions. Kiya to the village and, Legolas to the castle.  
  
When Legolas walked into the castles all, the maidens and men busted out laughing. He just gave them a dumbfounded look and continued on. When he got to his fathers room, he walked in and said hello to his father and went to sit in a chair. After a long conversation with his father about safety he turned to leave but the kings abrupt voice stopped him.  
  
"Legolas! What in the world did you do to your pants?" Legolas looked back and glanced at the back of his pants. There was a big hole cut out, and his butt was literally hanging out.  
  
Legolas turned bright red.  
  
One thought came in his mind. 'KIYA!'  
  
A/N: more to come, I promise. I just have a huge brain fart lol in other words I have a minor case or writers block. I'll post at least one more chapter up this weekend if not more. 


	7. Fish Kiss

Disclaimer: ok. I'm sick of putting this lol. Legolas isn't mine, I know this. :( But Kiya is.  
  
HELLO! I'm back!  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
~2days later~  
  
Legolas went to see Kiya again hoping that maybe, just maybe he could get her back for that little stunt she pulled on him.  
  
He looked around the village seeing her playing with the village children. He also spotted the little child that had helped him a couple of days ago to find where Kiya was. He stopped her.  
  
"Hello little one, can I ask you a favor?" Legolas smiled his lovely grin that no woman could resist even if she was this little girl.  
  
The girl looked up and smiled brightly.  
  
"LEGOLAS!!!" The girl shouted as she tackled him. He looked to the little girl smiling.  
  
Legolas picked her up and swung her around.  
  
"Hello little one!" He laughed. He kissed her cheek and smiled.  
  
"Now what about this favor you asked?" She smiles back.  
  
"Oh yes, the favor! Well I was hoping you could keep Kiya occupied for a half hour or so.." he replied.  
  
She tilted her head looking confused then grinned widely. She looked up at him with wide eyes.  
  
"Why of course I could!" Legolas put her down and the little girl ran straight for Kiya taking her hand and playing with her.  
  
Legolas grinned and thought 'great my plans working'. He walked through the market to Kiyas house and stopped for some yarn and some of the sticky substance Kiya had used on his father.  
  
He found her house in no time and quietly stepped in.  
  
~minutes passed by~  
  
Legolas observed his work yet again on her house and turned walking out, not wanting to see how this worked out.  
  
~A half our later~  
  
Shouts were heard from Kiyas house.  
  
"LEGOLAS GREENLEAF!" Kiya growled as she observed her home.  
  
Everything was covered in strong and she could barely move through it. It looked like a Giant spiders next had somehow found its way into her home. She looked around with eyes red as ever.  
  
Kiya turned and ran out of the house determined. Legolas was standing to the side of the house hiding. As Kiya stepped out, Legolas suck his foot out and she fell. He quickly caught her so she didn't hit the ground. He grinned.  
  
"You called, my lady?" He grinned cheekly.  
  
She stared at him straight in the eye glaring.  
  
"What it valars name did you do to my home!" she hollered.  
  
He smirked.  
  
"I only gave it a touch up. Now, what did you do to my pants?!" His eyes narrowed.  
  
She grinned and tried looking innocent.  
  
"Just gave it a little touch up." She mimicked. He laughed.  
  
"I see that, as I'm sure most of the castle did." He blushed some still remaining his temper.  
  
She grinned and pulled his head down lightly. He thought she was going to kiss him so he puckered up his lips and closed his eyes.  
  
Kiya picked up a fish from a barrel right beside her n placed it to his lips.  
  
"Kiya your lips are so cold and wet." She laughed and threw the fish back behind her grinning. Legolas opened his eyes as she laughed.  
  
"So. Legolas, how does it feel like to be kissed by a fish." He looked confused then she pointed to the fish behind her. His eyes widened and then started spiting on the ground as she laughed.  
  
"KIYA!" He yelled.  
  
She just stood there laughing. After Legolas seemingly returned to his normal state, he looked to her. She smiled.  
  
"You know you're quite pretty when you smile." He commented  
  
She grimaced.  
  
"ARG! Don't go all soft on me pretty boy!" She laughed then returned to the children.  
  
Legolas just shook his head smiling then went to play with the kids too but something in his head was still bothering him. What about Kiyas scar and where did she get it from. MORE IN THE NEXT CHAPPIE!!!!! Sorry this one wasn't very funneh. LV 


	8. Pointy Ring

Disclaimer: Legolas isnt mine and Thranduil isn't either. Kiya is mine though.  
  
*back with the children*  
  
Legolas looked around as all the young children played with Kiya. He was surprised that she had such a caring and devoting side. She had rarely shown to him. One thing he wanted to know is where she had gotten that scar from. He walked over to her.  
  
"Kiya, where did you get that scar from?" She grimaced.  
  
"Played a prank on the wrong person." That was all she said.  
  
As they continued to walk he continued to ask about her scar. Finally she couldn't take it any more.  
  
"OK! OK! GOSH! Look, I played a trick on this soldier I knew and he got really mad at me. so mad that he took a sword and gave me this scar. ok?!" She turned walking away fast. He frowned.  
  
"Oh." He followed. He tried catching up to her but she was going to fast. He ran after her and stopped her.  
  
"Look I'm really sorry. Please forgive me?" He kissed her cheek. She grinned.  
  
"As long as you never EVER kiss me again." She laughed.  
  
"Deal!" He shook her hand but stopped and pulled his hand back as he screamed. She laughed.  
  
"Sharp pointy ring, never leave home without it. HAHAHAHA"  
  
He grinned.  
  
"Kiya, you'll never change!" He said laughing.  
  
"Nope!" She replied smiling  
  
They walked more through the forest.  
  
"Good, because I don't want you too." He replied.  
  
She laughed and pushed him into a near by lake. He pulled her in with him. And so goes the tale of pranks and friendship. ~THE END~  
  
A/n: Grins evilly. Think this is the end? Hehe JOKES ON YOU!!!!! R/R!!! LV 


End file.

Lord of the Rings, Humor