Bleach 1. Microwave: IchiRuki

_Hi, everyone. I came up with this idea recently and I decided to put it to use. I love the concept of a genderbent Bleach, just because it would bring up a lot of interesting situations. So this story is a collection of one-shots based on a genderbent Bleach. Enjoy!_

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One

**Ichigo**x**Rukia**

"No! Can't you freeload off of Urahara?"

"No, she's already taking in Renji." Rukia folded his arms, smirking down at the scowling Ichigo. "Don't you like me sleeping in your closet?"

Ichigo reddened and looked away from his teasing blue eyes determinedly. "You don't even sleep in my closet, idiot. You complain and say it's too big for you, and you try to sleep in _my_ bed."

"So you're saying you don't like sleeping with me?"

Ichigo turned several shades darker and glared at him furiously. "D-don't say such suggestive things! People will think we've - "

"Had sex?" Rukia finished bluntly.

Ichigo looked around frantically, hoping no one was around. Thankfully, no one was. They were outside Ichigo's house, Ichigo wearing her normal school clothes (she'd just returned from there) and Rukia in his Shinigami uniform. He'd decided to 'pop in' to visit his 'favorite strawberry'. Those were his words, anyway.

"Would you shut up?" Ichigo hissed. Grabbing Rukia's wrist, she marched down the driveway and dragged him into the house. Kicking off her shoes, she bent around the corner to check neither of her brothers weren't around or, even worse, her mother. Upon finding no one was in the house, she turned and began shoving Rukia up the stairs.

"So you're letting me stay?" Rukia sounded smug.

"It's not like I have a choice!" Ichigo retorted hotly. "You'd just sneak in, anyway - "

"Ah, you're right ~"

Ichigo shoved him up the top steps and hurriedly brought him into her room. It was rather plain-looking, but neat, with a full-sized bed beside the desk and a decent closet directly across from it. She sat tiredly on her bed, not bothering to look up as Rukia sat next to her. She just hoped he wouldn't sexually harass her like he usually did. In fact, he'd done that since the beginning. Always teasing her and making perverted remarks, not caring who was around to hear him. Ichigo was embarrassed to be friends with him.

"You shouldn't wear such a short skirt, Ichigo," Rukia murmured seductively. "You're turning me on - "

"_Shut up!_" Ichigo slapped both hands over Rukia's mouth, her face beet red. "It's not my fault the school chose super-short skirts!"

Easily, Rukia slipped his fingers under Ichigo's hands and took them away. "I'm actually rather glad. I like seeing those bare legs of yours."

"Pervert!" Ichigo accused.

Rukia chuckled. "Only to you, my strawberry." He stood up and advanced toward the door.

"O-oi, where are you going?" Ichigo asked, lifting her hand.

He glanced back at her. "I'm going to find something to eat. I haven't eaten since yesterday, since I was working so hard to get all my paperwork done. Ukitake-taichou allowed me to come here because I got all my paperwork done for the week."

Ichigo was struck with a warm feeling. He'd worked day and night on paperwork so he could see her? "Okay..."

Rukia exited her room and Ichigo fell back on her bed. It seemed like Rukia really was going to stay here. Her mouth deepened into a frown and her cheeks turned red again. He'd certainly insist on sleeping in her bed again, like always. Sometimes, they just slept side-by-side. But most of the time, to Ichigo's embarrassment and indignation, Rukia liked to hold her.

And it was at those times that Ichigo had no nightmares.

"Hey, Ichigo?" Rukia poked his head into her room.

"What?"

His blue eyes were locked on her brown ones and, slowly, he came back into her room. Ichigo blushed furiously as he came closer, finally hovering over her body with a hand on either side of her. His gaze was warm, his scent was all around her and Ichigo couldn't even move. He leaned closer, closer, till his nose was brushing hers.

"How do you work the microwave?" he asked, his lips a fraction of an inch away from hers.

"You...!" Ichigo pushed against his chest, sending him upward and away from her. She sat up and glowered at him. "You do something like that and asked me such a simple question? I thought you were going to - "

Rukia smirked, mischief dancing in his eyes. "Eh, did Ichigo get all excited?"

"I-I did not!" Ichigo protested hotly.

"Don't lie, Ichigo," teased Rukia dodging away from her violent punch. His expression became somewhat serious again. "But, really - how do you work the microwave?"

"_YOU IDIOT!_"

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_So that's it for the first chapter. I hoped you liked it~ I bet you can tell what pairing I'm biased toward... xD_

_Anyway, please send in requests for certain character/s and situations! I'm bound to run out of ideas sometime._

_Until next time, ja ne!_

_~Feign_


	2. Not Worried: Shiyori

_This chapter was requested by dragonballzlover2499. I hope you enjoy it, and any other readers that might be out there!  
_

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Two

**Shinji**x**Hiyori**

"Hirako-taichou, where should I put these?" Momo held up a pile of completed paperwork, his brown eyes round with innocence and complete trust in his new captain. It kind of unnerved Shinji how trusting he was, even though she'd been reinstated as the gobantai taichou barely three months ago. It was sure a change from how distrustful her last captain-lieutenant relationship had been.

"Ya can bring it over here, Momo-kun," said Shinji, waving her hand at the pile beside her desk. "I'll be bringin' them up to the Archives later on before the capt'ns' meeting."

"Hai..." Momo carefully set his load on top of Shinji's. He was about to go back to work at his own desk when he stopped. "Er, Hirako-taichou? Is it just me, or do you feel that strange reiatsu, as well?"

"Hm?" Shinji lifted her head and, when she felt the familiar spirit force, a vein seemed to throb in her head. "You've gotta be kiddin' me."

The door to the office slammed open. "_SHINJI!_" the trespasser shrieked, barging in and scattering the pile of paperwork in their haste to get to the captain._  
_

"Hiyori, what the hell are you doin' here?" Shinji demanded, glaring heatedly at the young Visored.

Said boy returned the glower, looking perhaps even more dangerous. He grabbed Shinji by her collar, dragging her down to his height. "What, is it a crime to come to Soul Society once in a blue moon?"

"I thought ya said ya hated Shinigami!"

"I do!" Hiyori shouted, brown eyes blazing. "I just think it's stupid not to invite _me_ back to the Gotei even though I was a _lieutenant_ a hundred years ago!"

"Ya wouldn't have accepted!" Shinji snapped, attempting to loosen Hiyori's fingers from around her collar.

"So what? They could've at least asked!" Hiyori's eyes focused on Shinji's hair. "What the hell did you do to your bangs? Did someone slice 'em off?"

"N-no!" Shinji finally yanked Hiyori's hand away from her clothes. She straightened and brushed her bangs out of her eyes. "Don't you like 'em? I've heard this is in style, actually - "

"_YOU LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT!_" As usual, he never hesitated to insult Shinji straight-out. "What's with humans, anyway? Do they have any taste in haircuts? It's _actually_ in style? Are you sure that's not an excuse to cover the fact someone _did_ slice off your bangs - "

Poor Momo looked thoroughly frightened as he crept to the shelter underneath his desk. But if he'd known the sort of fights Hiyori and Shinji got into, he would've hidden somewhere much farther away. Shinji stomped around her desk and now seized Hiyori by his collar.

"Listen up, ya damn midget. You didn't come here to complain and insult me, did ya? What's on yer mind?"

"What're you talking about, dumbass Shinji? You think I'm worried about somethin'? You really are a _moron_."

Shinji just stared, waiting.

"Hmph." Hiyori turned his head sharply away so Shinji couldn't see his face. "You just haven't come to visit or anythin' and I was only wonderin' what got you so busy." He turned back, glaring again. "But don't go thinkin' I was _worried_ about you! Just 'cause you're with the damn Shinigami again doesn't mean anythin' to me." His hands wrestled with hers. "Now let me go so I can tell the others you haven't killed yourself yet or whatever."

The gobantai taichou released him and straightened to her full height once more. She put her hands on her hips, watching as Hiyori exited the room with a parting call of "Don't go showin' your face around headquarters anytime soon, dumbass Shinji!" She was actually surprised and strangely touched by what Hiyori said. She didn't think he actually cared enough to come visit her, despite his intense hatred of Shinigami.

However much he tried to hide it, he really had been concerned about her.

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_Ahaha, I hope you like it... I like ShinjixHiyori as well, but I feel like I might not have gotten them right. I hope this will suffice, though._

_Again, I encourage you to send in any pairings requests!_

_Until next time,_

_~Feign_


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Bleach, Humor, Parody