Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy XII Crossover at the Sandsea

A story that popped into my head after having a discussion with my sister about the similarities between Irvine and Balthier then listening to 'We R Who We R' on my way to work. Man, my mind works in bizarre ways...

* * *

The town of Rabanastre was hot. Hot even in comparison to the multitude of places Irvine had been. And the scent of sand permeated every corner of the modest metropolis. Although he wondered about the wisdom of building such a lavish city in the middle of the desert. Was this an oasis? Or was the population rich enough to simply import all of its water? The architecture of the city as a whole did reflect its general wealth but the handful of people he met, who could without a doubt be classified as lower class, described their childhood days barely being able to scrape together enough for a meal. How could they be expected to also pay for water?

But then again, those renegade thoughts were quickly squashed by observing the local populace. So many ladies, the likes of which he had never seen before! The voluptuous bunny women with furry, upswept ears who stood head and shoulders even over his above average human form were his favorite. But even the sauntering, overweight appearing people called Seeqs or upright dog-anteater men called Bangaa were a sight to behold. And who could forget the blonde-haired, blue-eyed human women? Especially in contrast with the more swarthy male population. What kind of conditions could have caused such a difference in the same population between males and females? Perhaps Quistis would know.

But at current, Quistis sat at a table adjacent to the stage in the corner with a beverage in her hand cheering on Selphie and Zell as they crooned out some slaughtered version of a local song in a sort of karaoke fashion. At the same table as her sat one of the aforementioned bunny people, called Viera if he recalled correctly, who laughed lightly at the spectacle but kept stealing glances at Irvine's table to check on her business partner who sat across from him. Under her intense, judging eyes, he couldn't help but also steal a glance at the man who shared a drink with him.

Balthier. The man had actually vouched for Irvine when he tried to order a drink but was asked his age. They had barely been introduced and he was willing to stick his neck out for the high school student. That took guts if nothing else. But then again, it seemed the stakes of getting caught drinking here were a lot lower than those of the place he came from.

He had actually been caught drinking in Timber once by the prying eyes of the disciplinary committee of Garden and ended up getting suspended. If he hadn't had friends in such high places in the organization, he could easily have been expelled. It was one of the few times he actually celebrated not being a SeeD. Quistis had chided him, saying he should hold himself to a higher standard because everyone looked to him for guidance. He tried his hardest to look suave as he told her that he didn't need to worry about that because that's what SeeDs were for. She just rolled her eyes and sent him back to his room.

The scantily clad Viera again glanced up at her partner. Was he mistaken, or did she look at him instead this time? A smirk rose on his face under her pale eyes. But at his pleased look, a gentle laugh escaped the well-groomed lips of his table mate. "I'd say hold your chocobos there, cowboy." Balthier said over the side of his glass.

"What?" Irvine said, reclining in his chair, his arm dangling over the back. "Already staked your claim?"

Balthier chuckled lightly and fluffed the ruffles on the end of his sleeves. "Hardly. My relationship with Fran can be described as many things, but romantic is not among them."

"Not into rabbits?"

Again, he chuckled. "What man in his right mind would not be attracted to such a picture of perfection?" He asked as they both looked over at Fran who finally let out a cheer as her friend Penelo mustered the courage to step up on stage and join Irvine's associates in a song. "But I value her too much as a business partner to ever consider her as a romantic partner."

"Well, either way, you'll be pleased to know that I appreciate an attractive woman but I know when to use my eyes instead of my hands."

"Wise boy." Balthier said with a smirk.

"Besides, I actually have a girl friend."

"Yes, the lady Selphie has told me." He said, looking at the floundering troop on stage. Penelo and Selphie each had an arm around Zell's shoulder and were trying to harmonize but were failing horribly. But the more out of tune they slipped, the more fun they all appeared to have. "How long have you been together? Two months?"

"What can I say?" Irvine said, trying to hide the offended note in his voice with an apathetic shrug. "I'm so used to spreading myself around; it's hard to keep myself in the company of one woman."

Balthier sipped his drink and sized up his junior counterpart. He knew all too well the position the boy was in. He himself had spent many years concentrating only on leaving a string of broken hearts behind him. At the time his excuse was that he was a man of work, his job taking the forefront of his attention. But now that he had time to look back, he wished he had the opportunity to develop some kind of permanent relationship, something to bring into his adult life.

Then again, he valued the life he had too much. The ladies were nice to spend an evening or two with, but he held his freedom above the idea of a consistent relationship. There was too much joy to be taken from a good raid to throw it away even for a dependable bed mate. Fran told him many times that the skies called his name louder than any woman could ever hope to.

"Well, you are a lucky man." The sky pirate said, reaching across the table to clink his glass against the sniper cowboy's. "But I would say be careful with those wandering eyes."

"What? Think I might scare her away?" Irvine asked, his gaze returning to the performance which seemed to be transforming to a smash hit around the crowded Sandsea.

"No, I simply warn you that she may be alarmed if she catches your eyes wandering in the same capacity that I am seeing."

"What are you talking about?"

"It has not escaped me that you are admiring your lady girlfriend with the same gaze you are using on your unarmed comrade there on stage." He said, motioning to the performance with his gradually emptying glass.

"WHAT?" He blurted out, grabbing the attention of the handful of tables around them. Quickly he let out a confident laugh and waved his hand dismissively. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Maybe. But over the years, the one skill I have honed above all others is my ability to read people." When Irvine narrowed his eyes at him, he shrugged his shoulders non-chalantly. "Perhaps I am simply reading the situation wrong. But I have to say, there is no shame in being attracted to the fairer sex as well as the rougher one."

Irvine tipped the front of his hat, hiding his blushing cheeks behind the casual motion. "Takes one to know one?"

Balthier chuckled and took a sip of his drink, using a similar strategy to hide his own awkwardness. "Hard to say. I have never met a man I've been sexually attracted to but I must admit I do not rule out the possibility."

Irvine rolled his eyes and looked over at the performance. Slowly the song wound down and the population of the pub all raised their hands in applause. Before they had the chance to exit the stage or start the next song, Irvine reached into the recesses of his coat. "Hey, Zell!" He called out as he threw a small treasure at the bewildered monk.

Zell wasn't sure what it was that his friend was throwing at him until it struck his outstretched hand and immediately released its magic. In a brightly colored pattern, his clothing melted from his body and was replaced with the trappings of the Garment Grid that transformed in his hand into a microphone. Now he stood on the stage in a pair of form-hugging leather pants, tied to his waist with a flame-accented belt. The white silk shirt that hung off his shoulders flew open in a bizarre unnatural and not present wind. His eye that was not surrounded with his permanent body art was highlighted with a blaze of red and blue eye makeup.

When the man glared up at his sniper friend, Irvine let out a hardy laugh. "It's called Songstress; I thought it might be appropriate!"

Zell stomped his foot impatiently, his anger obvious on his face. But in his childlike motion, he tensed his chest and abs, the muscles beneath rippling like some sort of ancient, bronzed deity.

When Irvine looked back at Balthier, his mouth sat agape. "…OK, I would totally hit that…"

* * *

So me and my little sister were having a discussion and we agreed that they makers of Final Fantasy VIII and Final Fantasy XII were heading in a similar direction with the characters of Irvine and Balthier. In both cases they were aiming to make a suave, capable ladies man for the female characters (and female audience) to feel attracted to. But we came to the agreement that Balthier was more successful in this goal. Not to say that Irvine is bad or poorly written it is mostly that he gives off the vibe that he is bisexual. Clearly he is into women, especially Selphie, but either he is also into men or he is extremely metro. Not that there's anything wrong with that!

Now believe me when I say that there is nothing wrong with homosexuality or bisexuality but I have never been a big yoai fan. But I must admit that one couple I would ship any day is Zell/Irvine.

Plus, I am not a huge fan of Final Fantasy X-2 but I love the Sphere Grid system. But ever since I first played that game, I have been dreaming of how each DressSphere would look for a male user. Now you all get to imagine what I think Songstress would look like!


End file.

Final Fantasy VIII, Final Fantasy XII, Humor