Teen Titans T & Ask (or Raven Explains What Nipples Are)

Author's note: Hahaha, boobs...

This fic was directly inspired this post on the teentitansheadcanons tumblr blog:

2401. Along with bellybuttons, Tameraneans also have no nipples. Starfire was quite surprised when she walked in on Raven getting out of the shower, and Raven had to explain to her what they were.

Disclaimer: I do not own _Teen Titans_ or any characters therein.

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><p>Raven was enjoying a much-needed shower after one of their short missions when she heard a knock on the door.<p>

"Raven, are you taking the shower right now?" a female voice called.

"Yes, Starfire. What is it?"

"I merely need to retrieve my brush for the teeth. May I come in?"

"Yes," Raven sighed. "I'll unlock the door." Chanting her mantra quietly, she held out her hand and the doorknob took on a subtle black glow as the lock clicked. Starfire was fully capable of opening the door without unlocking it, but they were out of spare doorknobs at the moment.

As her teammate rummaged around in the cabinet for her toothbrush and toothpaste, Raven scowled and wondered why the Tower had only one bathroom. Seriously: it had a living room the size of a small house. There were five teenagers—boys _and_ girls—living there for Azar's sake. And they all had to share _one_ bathroom. It was ridiculous.

At that very moment, Raven knocked over someone's liquid body wash and slipped. It happened so quickly that all she had time to do was grab the shower curtain, ripping it off of its rings. Thankfully, she managed to regain her balance before falling and smacking her head on something.

Raven covered herself with the curtain as a reflex. She wasn't overly concerned with modesty around Starfire, as she knew that the alien would think nothing of it. They were both girls, and Tamaraneans had a much more… relaxed attitude about nudity than most Earth cultures.

So much so that Starfire had to get an emergency "Earth dressing customs" lesson one day last summer. She had floated into the living room topless—and practically bottomless—while Cyborg was watching TV by himself. To his credit, he didn't (completely) panic, and called Raven on her communicator. When she reached the living room, Starfire was explaining to Cyborg that "her garments were too restricting and warm for the season" while Cyborg was averting his eye and begging Raven to "put some clothes on Star right now!" Raven grabbed a blanket for Starfire to cover herself with, and led the alien back to her room.

At first, Starfire was upset—she feared that she must have been too ugly to look upon—but she calmed down after Raven patiently explained the earthly custom dictating why clothes must be worn in the common rooms. Cyborg spent the rest of the afternoon trying to wipe the image of his naked "little sister" from his optical sensor's recordings. He gave up when Beast Boy heard what had happened.

"Friend Raven! Are you the all right?" Starfire had, of course, rushed over to the bathtub as soon as she'd seen Raven slip.

"Yes, Star. I just slipped." Turning off the water, Raven adjusted her footing and bent down to pick up the body wash. She wasn't paying attention when the shower curtain slipped partway off of her chest.

Starfire was still next to the tub on standby in case her friend needed help, when she slowly leaned closer to Raven, tilting her head to the side slightly as she focused intently on something. "What is that bump on your grebnak?"

Raven's eyes darted to her chest. Starfire was staring at her exposed nipple. Raven blushed and quickly pulled the shower curtain over the rest of her chest.

"Uhh…"

Raven had a flashback to what she had seen immediately before Starfire's first "Earth modesty" lesson: Tamaraneans didn't have bellybuttons.

Or _nipples_.

Dammit.

"Oh!" Starfire put her hand over her mouth quickly. "Is it… the zit?" Starfire whispered, a serious look on her face. Her concern-filled eyes flicked to Raven's for an answer.

The alien's reaction was just too much. Raven, though embarrassed and more than a little shocked, started to laugh.

Starfire was still confused, but seeing her friend laughing—while very unexpected—clearly indicated that the mysterious… thing on her friend's breast was not a threat. She started laughing too.

Raven suddenly stopped laughing when she realized what had to be done next.

Starfire stopped laughing as well. "Raven, what is wrong? You are not injured…?"

"No, Star. I'm perfectly fine," Raven said, clipping her words. The empath didn't need to look at Starfire to tell that the alien was still completely puzzled.

Raven braced herself, dreading what she was about to say next. "After I get dressed, come to my room. I have to… tell you something." Embarrassing though it was, Raven had to do it. The Titans had agreed that no matter what happened, Starfire must _never_ discover Wikipedia.

Starfire nodded, grabbed her toothbrush, and silently left the bathroom.

Raven massaged her temples. Teaching an alien teenager the "facts of life" was _so_ not in her job description.

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><p>Starfire had barely knocked on Raven's door when it suddenly hissed open. The empath gestured for her to come in and sit next to her on the bed.<p>

"Am I correct when I assume you are going to explain the mysterious growth on your greb… I mean boobie?"

Something in the room nearly exploded as Raven formulated a plan for killing Beast Boy, from whose tacky TV shows Starfire had doubtless picked _that_ word up.

No, on second thought, Raven realized that she was dying. She could feel her spirit break loose from her mortal coils and begin ascending into the…

Her soul snapped back into her body as Starfire grabbed her shoulders and started shaking her. "Raven! You are making me feel the very worried!" The alien shouted frantically. But who _wouldn't_ be worried if their friend's face turned purple while their eyes rolled back into their head?

Raven took Starfire's hands and gently removed them from her shoulders. Closing her eyes, Raven took a deep breath, held it while she repeated her mantra in her head a few times, and released it. This was no big deal, she told herself. It was just biology, _science. _Raven could talk about _science_. She _could_ talk about it. That's what she kept repeating to herself as she cleared her throat and began her impromptu lecture.

"The thing you saw on my _breast_ is called a nipple." Raven hoped Star would take the hint and refrain from using the more... informal... term again. This situation was already embarrassing enough.

Starfire's eyes bubbled with curiosity, but she had the sense not to push Raven right now.

"The reason human women have them is because their breasts produce milk when they give birth to a baby," Raven stated flatly. "The only thing a newborn baby can eat is milk."

Starfire just stared, not quite putting all of the pieces together.

Raven gritted her teeth for a moment, before reminding herself that it was just _biology_. "The baby has to suck on the nipple to get the milk."

Understanding lit up Starfire's eyes. "Like the baby bottle?"

Raven nodded, cursing inwardly because she hadn't thought of such an obvious example.

Suddenly, Raven recalled that one of her fairy tale books had an illustration of a mother breastfeeding her child and retrieved it from her bookshelf. She flipped through the pages until she found the picture, and then handed the book to Starfire.

The alien girl studied it, her eyes full of wonder. She clearly found it strange, but smiled when she saw the tender, affectionate expression on the mother's face.

"This looks like the wonderful way to strengthen bonds between a k'norfka and their bumgorf," Starfire said softly. "I wish this could be done on Tamaran."

Raven's expression softened as she watched Starfire examining the illustration. Seeing her friend react with awe to such a simple concept, one that Raven had taken for granted her whole life, was something Raven found incredibly endearing about Starfire. At least when it wasn't causing massive headaches and property damage.

"So these nipples… are the source of the nourishment for human infants?" Star asked.

Raven nodded.

"Why then must they remain covered?"

"Like the rest of a woman's chest, males usually find them distracting. I'm not going into any more detail." Raven had her limits, and right now, discussing _that_ topic was one of them.

Starfire shot an uncharacteristically sly glance at Raven, before closing her eyes and holding up one hand. "Friend, I am what you call the teenage girl. You need not explain further."

Raven's eyebrow twitched as she tried not to think about the implications of that statement.

Starfire continued. "But why then do Robin and Beast Boy also have the nipples?"

"It would take a long time to explain, but just think of it this way: people who are born blind still have eyes, even if they can't use them. Men don't need to nurse children but they still have nipples."

It surprised Raven how matter-of-factly she was able to state that. It was probably because her sense of embarrassment had pretty much died of its _own_ embarrassment by now.

"Oh!" Starfire exclaimed, clapping her hands together. "It's like how a tlorgenzog still has a slorkba even though it has done the evolving so it no longer needs one!"

"Yeah… sure." Raven wasn't even going to ask.

Starfire had already moved on. "Who are the women who provide the milk we buy at the store of groceries? It is most delicious."

There was an awkward silence, finally broken by Raven.

"...what?"

"Whose milk do we buy in large quantities when shopping for victuals?" Starfire asked more timidly, correctly guessing that Raven was reaching her limit.

"Umm… that milk comes from cows, Star." Anticipating the next question, Raven quickly added, "Nipples are also present on many other species of animal, specifically mammals."

"Oh! I have seen that word in some of Beast Boy's animal books!"

Raven let out a long sigh, and crossed out "grade school teacher" from her mental list of non-superhero potential vocations. She lay back on her bed and closed her eyes. Starfire looked down at her from where she was still sitting.

"Friend Raven?"

"Mmm," she grunted, opening her eyes but not sitting up.

Starfire leaned closer to look into Raven's eyes, which in turn caused her long hair to get in Raven's eyes and mouth. After Raven spit the hair out and Starfire restrained it, the alien girl spoke.

"I wish you to know that it means the lot to me that you will explain Earth things to me even if it brings you much discomfort." She smiled gratefully, and Raven sat up, taking a deep breath and preparing herself for the inevitable.

Starfire's arms enveloped Raven in a bone-crushing hug, prompting a pained gasp from the smaller girl. Slightly embarrassed, Starfire loosened her grip a tad. Last week, a bruised Raven had requested that she be gentler while hugging. Still, she refused to let go until Raven hugged her back just a _little_ bit. Star could feel Raven's small smile against her arm, and knew that her stoic friend _did_ in fact enjoy hugs from time to time. Just not the ones that left bruises.

"Thank you, sister," Starfire said, releasing her at last.

Raven rolled her eyes fondly. "You're welcome, Star."

As many headaches as her adopted sister caused her, Raven knew that she would do just about anything for Starfire. _Even_ explain what nipples were.

Starfire rose from the bed and started towards the door. "I will let you resume your normal activities. I am feeling like the snack now anyway."

She was almost out the door when she turned back to Raven.

"I have one more question."

Raven stared blankly ahead, too drained to even be afraid of what Star would ask next.

"Where does the milk of soy that Beast Boy is so fond of come from?"

Raven gave an aggravated groan as her patience finally ran out. She jumped up, strode to the door, and practically shoved her friend out.

"Go ask _him_, Star!" she growled as her door hissed shut.

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><p>Later that evening, Robin and Cyborg overheard Beast Boy and Raven having a rather loud argument in the hall, in which the word "boobies" came up several times.<p>

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><p>Author's note:<p>

"And that's the story of why Beast Boy is no longer allowed to watch _Space Dandy_ in the living room."

This is my first _Teen Titans_ story, and I managed to combine several of my favorite things into it: Starfire being uninformed, Raven being embarrassed, and awkward conversations about boobs. Win-win-win. Throw in the sisterly relationship aspect and that makes four wins in my opinion. #winning

If comics of the adult Titans are anything to go on, Tamaraneans have nipples and bellybuttons. Starfire was just animated without a navel for some reason. I just thought the headcanon was hilarious, so I wanted to write a story about it.

If I got the characters a bit OOC, I apologize; I'm only halfway through the original show. Also, I know that Raven and Starfire switched bodies for a day, but they were fighting crime, not taking showers, soooo... I'm going to say that's why they didn't notice this slight anatomical difference.

Well, I hope you had fun reading this story about Raven explaining nipples to Starfire. Feel free to tell me what you think.

Oh! And check out the teentitansheadcanons tumblr blog if you have 4 hours to kill. It's a lot of fun.

Finally, if you catch any typos, grammar errors, or sentences that don't make sense, PM me and I'll fix 'em.


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Teen Titans, Friendship, Humor